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WANDERING GHOSTS
Wandering Spirits


THE MACMILLAN COMPANY
NEW YORK · BOSTON · CHICAGO
SAN FRANCISCO
MACMILLAN & CO., Limited
LONDON · BOMBAY · CALCUTTA
MELBOURNE
THE MACMILLAN CO. OF CANADA, Ltd.
TORONTO
THE MACMILLAN COMPANY
NEW YORK · BOSTON · CHICAGO
SAN FRANCISCO
MACMILLAN & CO., Limited
LONDON · MUMBAI · KOLKATA
MELBOURNE
THE MACMILLAN CO. OF CANADA, Ltd.
TORONTO

"What?... It's gone, man, the skull is gone!!"
"What?... It's gone, dude, the skull is gone!!"
Wandering Spirits
BY F. Marion Crawford
AUTHOR OF "SARACINESCA," "A ROMAN
SINGER," ETC.
AUTHOR OF "SARACINESCA," "A ROMAN
SINGER," ETC.
WITH FRONTISPIECE
WITH FRONTISPIECE
New York
THE MACMILLAN COMPANY
1911
All rights reserved
New York
THE MACMILLAN COMPANY
1911
All rights reserved
Copyright, 1894,
By G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS.
Copyright, 1899,
By STREET AND SMITH.
Copyright, 1903,
By F. MARION CRAWFORD
AND
By THE MACMILLAN COMPANY.
Copyright, 1905 and 1908,
By P. F. COLLIER AND SON.
Copyright, 1911,
By THE MACMILLAN COMPANY.
Copyright, 1894,
By G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS.
Copyright, 1899,
By STREET AND SMITH.
Copyright, 1903,
By F. MARION CRAWFORD
AND
By THE MACMILLAN COMPANY.
Copyright, 1905 and 1908,
By P. F. COLLIER AND SON.
Copyright, 1911,
By THE MACMILLAN COMPANY.
Set up and electrotyped. Published March, 1911.
Set up and electrotyped. Published March 1911.
Norwood Press
J. S. Cushing Co.—Berwick & Smith Co.
Norwood, Mass., U.S.A.
Norwood Press
J. S. Cushing Co.—Berwick & Smith Co.
Norwood, Mass., U.S.A.
CONTENTS
PAGE | |
THE DEAD SMILE | 1 |
THE SCREAMING SKULL | 41 |
MAN OVERBOARD! | 97 |
FOR THE BLOOD IS THE LIFE | 165 |
THE UPPER BERTH | 195 |
BY THE WATER OF PARADISE | 235 |
THE DOLL'S GHOST | 279 |
THE DEAD SMILE
THE DEAD SMILE
THE DEAD SMILE
CHAPTER 1
Sir Hugh Ockram smiled as he sat by the open window of his study, in the late August afternoon; and just then a curiously yellow cloud obscured the low sun, and the clear summer light turned lurid, as if it had been suddenly poisoned and polluted by the foul vapours of a plague. Sir Hugh's face seemed, at best, to be made of fine parchment drawn skin-tight over a wooden mask, in which two eyes were sunk out of sight, and peered from far within through crevices under the slanting, wrinkled lids, alive and watchful like two toads in their holes, side by side and exactly alike. But as the light changed, then a little yellow glare flashed in each. Nurse Macdonald said once that when Sir Hugh smiled he saw the faces of two women in hell—two dead women he had betrayed. (Nurse Macdonald was a hundred years old.) And the smile widened, stretching the pale lips across the discoloured teeth in[Pg 4] an expression of profound self-satisfaction, blended with the most unforgiving hatred and contempt for the human doll. The hideous disease of which he was dying had touched his brain. His son stood beside him, tall, white and delicate as an angel in a primitive picture; and though there was deep distress in his violet eyes as he looked at his father's face, he felt the shadow of that sickening smile stealing across his own lips and parting them and drawing them against his will. And it was like a bad dream, for he tried not to smile and smiled the more. Beside him, strangely like him in her wan, angelic beauty, with the same shadowy golden hair, the same sad violet eyes, the same luminously pale face, Evelyn Warburton rested one hand upon his arm. And as she looked into her uncle's eyes, and could not turn her own away, she knew that the deathly smile was hovering on her own red lips, drawing them tightly across her little teeth, while two bright tears ran down her cheeks to her mouth, and dropped from the upper to the lower lip while she smiled—and the smile was like the shadow of death and the seal of damnation upon her pure, young face.
Sir Hugh Ockram smiled as he sat by the open window of his study on a late August afternoon. Just then, a strangely yellow cloud covered the low sun, and the bright summer light turned ghastly, as if it had suddenly been tainted by the toxic fumes of a plague. Sir Hugh's face looked like fine parchment stretched tightly over a wooden mask, with two eyes sunken deep, peering from beneath slanting, wrinkled lids, alive and alert like two toads in their holes, side by side and identical. But as the light shifted, a faint yellow glare flickered in each eye. Nurse Macdonald once said that when Sir Hugh smiled, he seemed to reveal the faces of two women in hell—two dead women he had betrayed. (Nurse Macdonald was a hundred years old.) The smile widened, stretching his pale lips over discolored teeth in[Pg 4] a look of deep self-satisfaction, mixed with the most unforgiving hatred and scorn for the human doll. The awful disease that was killing him had affected his mind. His son stood next to him, tall, white, and delicate like an angel in a primitive painting; and although there was deep sorrow in his violet eyes as he looked at his father's face, he felt the shadow of that nauseating smile creeping across his own lips, parting them against his will. It felt like a nightmare, as he tried not to smile but ended up smiling more. Next to him, oddly similar in her ethereal beauty, with the same pale golden hair, the same sorrowful violet eyes, and the same glowing pale face, Evelyn Warburton rested one hand on his arm. As she gazed into her uncle's eyes, unable to look away, she realized that the deathly smile was forming on her own red lips, pulling them tight across her little teeth, while two bright tears streamed down her cheeks to her mouth, falling from her upper lip to the lower one as she smiled—and that smile felt like the shadow of death and a mark of damnation on her pure, young face.
"Of course," said Sir Hugh very slowly, and still looking out at the trees, "if you have made up your mind to be married, I cannot hinder you,[Pg 5] and I don't suppose you attach the smallest importance to my consent——"
"Of course," Sir Hugh said slowly, still gazing at the trees, "if you've decided to get married, there's nothing I can do to stop you,[Pg 5] and I don't think you care at all about my approval——"
"Father!" exclaimed Gabriel reproachfully.
"Dad!" exclaimed Gabriel reproachfully.
"No; I do not deceive myself," continued the old man, smiling terribly. "You will marry when I am dead, though there is a very good reason why you had better not—why you had better not," he repeated very emphatically, and he slowly turned his toad eyes upon the lovers.
"No; I'm not fooling myself," the old man said with a frightening smile. "You'll get married once I'm gone, even though there's a really good reason you probably shouldn't—why you probably shouldn't," he emphasized, slowly turning his bulging eyes toward the couple.
"What reason?" asked Evelyn in a frightened voice.
"What reason?" asked Evelyn in a scared voice.
"Never mind the reason, my dear. You will marry just as if it did not exist." There was a long pause. "Two gone," he said, his voice lowering strangely, "and two more will be four—all together—for ever and ever, burning, burning, burning bright."
"Don't worry about the reason, my dear. You will marry as if it didn't matter." There was a long pause. "Two are gone," he said, his voice dropping strangely, "and two more will make four—all together—forever and ever, burning, burning, burning bright."
At the last words his head sank slowly back, and the little glare of the toad eyes disappeared under the swollen lids; and the lurid cloud passed from the westering sun, so that the earth was green again and the light pure. Sir Hugh had fallen asleep, as he often did in his last illness, even while speaking.
At his final words, his head slowly dropped back, and the faint glare of his toad-like eyes vanished under his swollen eyelids; then the dark cloud moved away from the setting sun, making the earth green again and the light bright. Sir Hugh had fallen asleep, which was common for him during his last illness, even while he was talking.
Gabriel Ockram drew Evelyn away, and from the study they went out into the dim hall, softly closing the door behind them, and each audibly drew breath, as though some sudden danger had[Pg 6] been passed. They laid their hands each in the other's, and their strangely-like eyes met in a long look, in which love and perfect understanding were darkened by the secret terror of an unknown thing. Their pale faces reflected each other's fear.
Gabriel Ockram pulled Evelyn away, and they stepped out of the study into the dim hallway, quietly closing the door behind them. Both of them took a deep breath, as if they had just escaped some sudden danger. They held each other's hands, their strikingly similar eyes locking in a long gaze filled with love and complete understanding, yet overshadowed by the secret fear of something unknown. Their pale faces mirrored each other's anxiety.
"It is his secret," said Evelyn at last. "He will never tell us what it is."
"It’s his secret," Evelyn finally said. "He’ll never tell us what it is."
"If he dies with it," answered Gabriel, "let it be on his own head!"
"If he dies with it," Gabriel replied, "let it be on him!"
"On his head!" echoed the dim hall. It was a strange echo, and some were frightened by it, for they said that if it were a real echo it should repeat everything and not give back a phrase here and there, now speaking, now silent. But Nurse Macdonald said that the great hall would never echo a prayer when an Ockram was to die, though it would give back curses ten for one.
"On his head!" echoed the dim hall. It was a strange echo, and some were scared by it, because they thought if it were a real echo, it should repeat everything instead of just a phrase here and there, sometimes speaking and sometimes silent. But Nurse Macdonald said that the great hall would never echo a prayer when an Ockram was about to die, although it would return curses tenfold.
"On his head!" it repeated quite softly, and Evelyn started and looked round.
"On his head!" it said again in a soft voice, and Evelyn jumped and glanced around.
"It is only the echo," said Gabriel, leading her away.
"It’s just the echo," Gabriel said, guiding her away.
They went out into the late afternoon light, and sat upon a stone seat behind the chapel, which was built across the end of the east wing. It was very still, not a breath stirred, and there was no sound near them. Only far off in the park a song-bird was whistling the high prelude to the evening chorus.
They stepped out into the late afternoon light and sat on a stone bench behind the chapel, which was located at the end of the east wing. It was very quiet, not a whisper of wind, and there was no sound around them. Only in the distance, in the park, a songbird was whistling the high notes of the evening chorus.
"It is very lonely here," said Evelyn, taking Gabriel's hand nervously, and speaking as if she dreaded to disturb the silence. "If it were dark, I should be afraid."
"It’s really lonely here," Evelyn said, nervously taking Gabriel's hand and speaking like she was anxious about breaking the silence. "If it were dark, I would be scared."
"Of what? Of me?" Gabriel's sad eyes turned to her.
"Of what? Of me?" Gabriel's sad eyes shifted to her.
"Oh no! How could I be afraid of you? But of the old Ockrams—they say they are just under our feet here in the north vault outside the chapel, all in their shrouds, with no coffins, as they used to bury them."
"Oh no! How could I be scared of you? But about the old Ockrams—they say they’re just beneath us here in the north vault outside the chapel, all wrapped up in their shrouds, with no coffins, just like they used to bury them."
"As they always will—as they will bury my father, and me. They say an Ockram will not lie in a coffin."
"As they always do—as they will bury my father, and then me. They say an Ockram won’t lie in a coffin."
"But it cannot be true—these are fairy tales—ghost stories!" Evelyn nestled nearer to her companion, grasping his hand more tightly, and the sun began to go down.
"But it can't be true—these are just fairy tales—ghost stories!" Evelyn moved closer to her companion, gripping his hand more tightly, and the sun started to set.
"Of course. But there is the story of old Sir Vernon, who was beheaded for treason under James II. The family brought his body back from the scaffold in an iron coffin with heavy locks, and they put it in the north vault. But ever afterwards, whenever the vault was opened to bury another of the family, they found the coffin wide open, and the body standing upright against the wall, and the head rolled away in a corner, smiling at it."
"Of course. But there's the story of old Sir Vernon, who was executed for treason under James II. The family brought his body back from the scaffold in an iron coffin with heavy locks, and they placed it in the north vault. However, every time the vault was opened to bury another family member, they found the coffin wide open, with the body standing upright against the wall and the head rolled away in a corner, grinning at it."
"As Uncle Hugh smiles?" Evelyn shivered.
"As Uncle Hugh smiles?" Evelyn shivered.
"Yes, I suppose so," answered Gabriel, thoughtfully. "Of course I never saw it, and the vault has not been opened for thirty years—none of us have died since then."
"Yeah, I guess so," Gabriel replied, deep in thought. "I mean, I’ve never seen it, and the vault hasn’t been opened in thirty years—none of us have died since."
"And if—if Uncle Hugh dies—shall you——" Evelyn stopped, and her beautiful thin face was quite white.
"And if—if Uncle Hugh dies—will you——" Evelyn stopped, and her beautiful, delicate face was completely pale.
"Yes. I shall see him laid there too—with his secret, whatever it is." Gabriel sighed and pressed the girl's little hand.
"Yes. I’ll see him lying there too—with his secret, whatever it is." Gabriel sighed and held the girl's small hand.
"I do not like to think of it," she said unsteadily. "O Gabriel, what can the secret be? He said we had better not marry—not that he forbade it—but he said it so strangely, and he smiled—ugh!" Her small white teeth chattered with fear, and she looked over her shoulder while drawing still closer to Gabriel. "And, somehow, I felt it in my own face—"
"I really don't want to think about it," she said with uncertainty. "Oh Gabriel, what could the secret be? He suggested we shouldn’t get married—not that he explicitly stopped us—but he said it in such a weird way, and he smiled—ugh!" Her small white teeth were chattering with fear, and she glanced over her shoulder as she moved even closer to Gabriel. "And somehow, I felt it in my own face—"
"So did I," answered Gabriel in a low, nervous voice. "Nurse Macdonald——" He stopped abruptly.
"So did I," replied Gabriel in a quiet, anxious tone. "Nurse Macdonald——" He paused suddenly.
"What? What did she say?"
"What? What did she mean?"
"Oh—nothing. She has told me things—they would frighten you, dear. Come, it is growing chilly." He rose, but Evelyn held his hand in both of hers, still sitting and looking up into his face.
"Oh—nothing. She has shared things with me—they would scare you, dear. Come on, it’s getting chilly." He stood up, but Evelyn kept his hand in both of hers, remaining seated and gazing up into his face.
"But we shall be married, just the same—Gabriel! Say that we shall!"
"But we're still going to get married, right—Gabriel! Tell me we are!"
"Of course, darling—of course. But while my father is so very ill, it is impossible——"
"Of course, darling—of course. But since my dad is really sick, it's impossible——"
"O Gabriel, Gabriel, dear! I wish we were married now!" cried Evelyn in sudden distress. "I know that something will prevent it and keep us apart."
"O Gabriel, Gabriel, dear! I wish we were married right now!" cried Evelyn in sudden distress. "I know something will get in the way and keep us apart."
"Nothing shall!"
"Not happening!"
"Nothing?"
"Really?"
"Nothing human," said Gabriel Ockram, as she drew him down to her.
"Nothing human," Gabriel Ockram said, pulling him closer to her.
And their faces, that were so strangely alike, met and touched—and Gabriel knew that the kiss had a marvellous savour of evil, but on Evelyn's lips it was like the cool breath of a sweet and mortal fear. And neither of them understood, for they were innocent and young. Yet she drew him to her by her lightest touch, as a sensitive plant shivers and waves its thin leaves, and bends and closes softly upon what it wants; and he let himself be drawn to her willingly, as he would if her touch had been deadly and poisonous; for she strangely loved that half voluptuous breath of fear, and he passionately desired the nameless evil something that lurked in her maiden lips.
And their faces, which looked so similar, met and touched—and Gabriel realized that the kiss had a fascinating hint of danger, but on Evelyn's lips it felt like the cool breath of sweet, haunting fear. Neither of them fully understood, since they were innocent and young. Yet she pulled him toward her with the lightest touch, like a sensitive plant that shivers and moves its delicate leaves, bending and softly closing in on what it wants; and he allowed himself to be drawn to her willingly, as if her touch had been deadly and toxic; for she oddly loved that half-sensual breath of fear, and he passionately craved the unnamed darkness that lingered on her innocent lips.
"It is as if we loved in a strange dream," she said.
"It feels like we were in a weird dream," she said.
"I fear the waking," he murmured.
"I’m afraid of waking up," he whispered.
"We shall not wake, dear—when the dream is over it will have already turned into death, so softly that we shall not know it. But until then——"
"We won’t wake up, dear—when the dream ends, it will have already transformed into death, so gently that we won’t even realize it. But until then——"
She paused, and her eyes sought his, and their faces slowly came nearer. It was as if they had thoughts in their red lips that foresaw and foreknew the deep kiss of each other.
She paused, her eyes searching for his, and their faces gradually moved closer. It felt like their red lips held thoughts that anticipated the deep kiss they were about to share.
"Until then——" she said again, very low, and her mouth was nearer to his.
"Until then——" she said again, quietly, and her mouth was closer to his.
"Dream—till then," murmured his breath.
"Dream—until then," he whispered.
CHAPTER 2
Nurse Macdonald was a hundred years old. She used to sleep sitting all bent together in a great old leathern arm-chair with wings, her feet in a bag footstool lined with sheepskin, and many warm blankets wrapped about her, even in summer. Beside her a little lamp always burned at night by an old silver cup, in which there was something to drink.
Nurse Macdonald was a hundred years old. She would sleep sitting all hunched up in a big old leather armchair with wings, her feet resting in a footstool lined with sheepskin, and wrapped in plenty of warm blankets, even in summer. Next to her, a small lamp always burned at night beside an old silver cup, which held something to drink.
Her face was very wrinkled, but the wrinkles were so small and fine and near together that they made shadows instead of lines. Two thin locks of hair, that was turning from white to a smoky yellow again, were drawn over her temples[Pg 11] from under her starched white cap. Every now and then she woke, and her eyelids were drawn up in tiny folds like little pink silk curtains, and her queer blue eyes looked straight before her through doors and walls and worlds to a far place beyond. Then she slept again, and her hands lay one upon the other on the edge of the blanket; the thumbs had grown longer than the fingers with age, and the joints shone in the low lamplight like polished crab-apples.
Her face was very wrinkled, but the wrinkles were so small and fine and close together that they created shadows rather than lines. Two thin strands of hair, shifting from white to a smoky yellow, were pulled over her temples[Pg 11] from underneath her starched white cap. Every now and then she would wake up, and her eyelids would lift in tiny folds like little pink silk curtains, while her unusual blue eyes looked straight ahead through doors and walls and worlds to a faraway place beyond. Then she would fall asleep again, and her hands rested one on top of the other at the edge of the blanket; her thumbs had grown longer than her fingers with age, and the joints glinted in the soft lamplight like polished crab-apples.
It was nearly one o'clock in the night, and the summer breeze was blowing the ivy branch against the panes of the window with a hushing caress. In the small room beyond, with the door ajar, the girl-maid who took care of Nurse Macdonald was fast asleep. All was very quiet. The old woman breathed regularly, and her indrawn lips trembled each time as the breath went out, and her eyes were shut.
It was almost one in the morning, and the summer breeze was gently brushing the ivy against the window panes. In the small room beyond, with the door slightly open, the maid who looked after Nurse Macdonald was fast asleep. Everything was very quiet. The old woman breathed steadily, her lips quivering slightly each time she exhaled, and her eyes were closed.
But outside the closed window there was a face, and violet eyes were looking steadily at the ancient sleeper, for it was like the face of Evelyn Warburton, though there were eighty feet from the sill of the window to the foot of the tower. Yet the cheeks were thinner than Evelyn's, and as white as a gleam, and the eyes stared, and the lips were not red with life; they were dead, and painted with new blood.
But outside the closed window was a face, with violet eyes staring intently at the ancient sleeper. It resembled Evelyn Warburton's face, even though there were eighty feet from the window sill to the base of the tower. However, the cheeks were thinner than Evelyn's and as pale as a glimmer, and the eyes were fixed, while the lips weren't red with life; they appeared lifeless, painted with fresh blood.
Slowly Nurse Macdonald's wrinkled eyelids folded themselves back, and she looked straight at the face at the window while one might count ten.
Slowly, Nurse Macdonald's wrinkled eyelids lifted, and she stared directly at the face in the window for what felt like ten seconds.
"Is it time?" she asked in her little old, faraway voice.
"Is it time?" she asked in her soft, distant voice.
While she looked the face at the window changed, for the eyes opened wider and wider till the white glared all round the bright violet, and the bloody lips opened over gleaming teeth, and stretched and widened and stretched again, and the shadowy golden hair rose and streamed against the window in the night breeze. And in answer to Nurse Macdonald's question came the sound that freezes the living flesh.
While she watched, the face at the window transformed, as the eyes opened wider and wider until the whites surrounded the bright violet, and the bloody lips parted to reveal gleaming teeth, stretching and widening repeatedly, while the shadowy golden hair rose and flowed against the window in the night breeze. In response to Nurse Macdonald's question, came the sound that chills the living flesh.
That low-moaning voice that rises suddenly, like the scream of storm, from a moan to a wail, from a wail to a howl, from a howl to the fear-shriek of the tortured dead—he who has heard knows, and he can bear witness that the cry of the banshee is an evil cry to hear alone in the deep night. When it was over and the face was gone, Nurse Macdonald shook a little in her great chair, and still she looked at the black square of the window, but there was nothing more there, nothing but the night, and the whispering ivy branch. She turned her head to the door that was ajar, and there stood the girl in her white gown, her teeth chattering with fright.
That low, moaning voice that suddenly rises like a storm's scream, moving from a moan to a wail, from a wail to a howl, and then to the terrified shriek of the tortured dead—anyone who has heard it knows, and they can testify that the sound of the banshee is a haunting noise to hear alone in the deep night. When it was all over and the figure had vanished, Nurse Macdonald shivered a little in her big chair, still staring at the dark square of the window, but there was nothing there anymore, nothing but the night and the whispering ivy branch. She turned her head towards the ajar door, and there stood the girl in her white gown, her teeth chattering with fear.
"It is time, child," said Nurse Macdonald. "I must go to him, for it is the end."
"It’s time, kid," said Nurse Macdonald. "I need to go to him, because it’s the end."
She rose slowly, leaning her withered hands upon the arms of the chair, and the girl brought her a woollen gown and a great mantle, and her crutch-stick, and made her ready. But very often the girl looked at the window and was unjointed with fear, and often Nurse Macdonald shook her head and said words which the maid could not understand.
She got up slowly, using her frail hands to support herself on the arms of the chair. The girl handed her a wool sweater and a large cloak, along with her walking stick, and helped her get ready. But the girl frequently glanced at the window, feeling anxious, and often Nurse Macdonald shook her head, saying things that the maid couldn't comprehend.
"It was like the face of Miss Evelyn," said the girl at last, trembling.
"It was like Miss Evelyn's face," the girl finally said, trembling.
But the ancient woman looked up sharply and angrily, and her queer blue eyes glared. She held herself by the arm of the great chair with her left hand, and lifted up her crutch-stick to strike the maid with all her might. But she did not.
But the old woman looked up sharply and angrily, her strange blue eyes glaring. She held onto the arm of the big chair with her left hand and raised her crutch to hit the maid with all her strength. But she didn’t.
"You are a good girl," she said, "but you are a fool. Pray for wit, child, pray for wit—or else find service in another house than Ockram Hall. Bring the lamp and help me under my left arm."
"You’re a good girl," she said, "but you’re foolish. Pray for some smarts, sweetheart, pray for some smarts—or else find work in a different house than Ockram Hall. Bring the lamp and help me under my left arm."
The crutch-stick clacked on the wooden floor, and the low heels of the woman's slippers clappered after her in slow triplets, as Nurse Macdonald got toward the door. And down the stairs each step she took was a labour in itself, and by[Pg 14] the clacking noise the waking servants knew that she was coming, very long before they saw her.
The crutch stick clicked on the wooden floor, and the low heels of the woman's slippers echoed after her in a slow rhythm as Nurse Macdonald moved toward the door. Each step down the stairs was a struggle, and with the clacking noise, the waking servants knew she was coming long before they saw her.
No one was sleeping now, and there were lights, and whisperings, and pale faces in the corridors near Sir Hugh's bedroom, and now some one went in, and now some one came out, but every one made way for Nurse Macdonald, who had nursed Sir Hugh's father more than eighty years ago.
No one was sleeping now, and there were lights, whispers, and pale faces in the hallways near Sir Hugh's bedroom. Someone went in, and someone came out, but everyone made way for Nurse Macdonald, who had cared for Sir Hugh's father over eighty years ago.
The light was soft and clear in the room. There stood Gabriel Ockram by his father's bedside, and there knelt Evelyn Warburton, her hair lying like a golden shadow down her shoulders, and her hands clasped nervously together. And opposite Gabriel, a nurse was trying to make Sir Hugh drink. But he would not, and though his lips were parted, his teeth were set. He was very, very thin and yellow now, and his eyes caught the light sideways and were as yellow coals.
The light in the room was soft and clear. Gabriel Ockram stood by his father's bedside, while Evelyn Warburton knelt beside him, her hair cascading like a golden shadow over her shoulders, her hands nervously clasped together. Across from Gabriel, a nurse was trying to get Sir Hugh to drink, but he refused. His lips were slightly parted, yet his teeth were clenched. He was extremely thin and yellow now, and his eyes caught the light at an angle, resembling yellow coals.
"Do not torment him," said Nurse Macdonald to the woman who held the cup. "Let me speak to him, for his hour is come."
"Don't torment him," Nurse Macdonald said to the woman holding the cup. "Let me talk to him, because his time has come."
"Let her speak to him," said Gabriel in a dull voice.
"Let her talk to him," said Gabriel in a flat voice.
So the ancient woman leaned to the pillow and laid the feather-weight of her withered hand,[Pg 15] that was like a brown moth, upon Sir Hugh's yellow fingers, and she spoke to him earnestly, while only Gabriel and Evelyn were left in the room to hear.
So the old woman rested her head on the pillow and placed her light, frail hand, which looked like a brown moth, on Sir Hugh's yellow fingers. She spoke to him with sincerity, while only Gabriel and Evelyn remained in the room to listen.[Pg 15]
"Hugh Ockram," she said, "this is the end of your life; and as I saw you born, and saw your father born before you, I am come to see you die. Hugh Ockram, will you tell me the truth?"
"Hugh Ockram," she said, "this is the end of your life; and since I witnessed your birth and your father's before you, I have come to see you die. Hugh Ockram, will you tell me the truth?"
The dying man recognised the little faraway voice he had known all his life, and he very slowly turned his yellow face to Nurse Macdonald; but he said nothing. Then she spoke again.
The dying man recognized the faint voice he had known all his life, and he slowly turned his pale face to Nurse Macdonald; but he didn’t say anything. Then she spoke again.
"Hugh Ockram, you will never see the daylight again. Will you tell the truth?"
"Hugh Ockram, you will never see the light of day again. Will you tell the truth?"
His toad-like eyes were not yet dull. They fastened themselves on her face.
His bulging eyes weren't dull yet. They locked onto her face.
"What do you want of me?" he asked, and each word struck hollow upon the last. "I have no secrets. I have lived a good life."
"What do you want from me?" he asked, and each word felt empty as it landed. "I have no secrets. I've lived a good life."
Nurse Macdonald laughed—a tiny, cracked laugh, that made her old head bob and tremble a little, as if her neck were on a steel spring. But Sir Hugh's eyes grew red, and his pale lips began to twist.
Nurse Macdonald let out a small, shaky laugh that made her old head nod and shake slightly, like her neck was on a steel spring. But Sir Hugh's eyes turned red, and his pale lips started to curl.
"Let me die in peace," he said slowly.
"Let me die in peace," he said slowly.
But Nurse Macdonald shook her head, and her[Pg 16] brown, moth-like hand left his and fluttered to his forehead.
But Nurse Macdonald shook her head, and her[Pg 16] brown, moth-like hand left his and gently brushed against his forehead.
"By the mother that bore you and died of grief for the sins you did, tell me the truth!"
"By the mother who gave birth to you and died from sorrow over your sins, tell me the truth!"
Sir Hugh's lips tightened on his discoloured teeth.
Sir Hugh's lips pressed together over his stained teeth.
"Not on earth," he answered slowly.
"Not on earth," he replied slowly.
"By the wife who bore your son and died heartbroken, tell me the truth!"
"By the wife who gave birth to your son and died heartbroken, tell me the truth!"
"Neither to you in life, nor to her in eternal death."
"Neither to you in life, nor to her in eternal death."
His lips writhed, as if the words were coals between them, and a great drop of sweat rolled across the parchment of his forehead. Gabriel Ockram bit his hand as he watched his father die. But Nurse Macdonald spoke a third time.
His lips twisted, as if the words were burning coals, and a large drop of sweat trickled down his forehead. Gabriel Ockram bit his hand as he watched his father die. But Nurse Macdonald spoke a third time.
"By the woman whom you betrayed, and who waits for you this night, Hugh Ockram, tell me the truth!"
"By the woman you betrayed, who is waiting for you tonight, Hugh Ockram, tell me the truth!"
"It is too late. Let me die in peace."
"It’s too late. Just let me die in peace."
The writhing lips began to smile across the set yellow teeth, and the toad eyes glowed like evil jewels in his head.
The twisting lips started to smile, revealing the yellow teeth, and the toad-like eyes shone like wicked jewels in his head.
"There is time," said the ancient woman. "Tell me the name of Evelyn Warburton's father. Then I will let you die in peace."
"There’s time," the old woman said. "Tell me the name of Evelyn Warburton's father. Then I’ll let you die in peace."
Evelyn started back, kneeling as she was, and stared at Nurse Macdonald, and then at her uncle.
Evelyn jumped back, still kneeling, and stared at Nurse Macdonald, then at her uncle.
"The name of Evelyn's father?" he repeated slowly, while the awful smile spread upon his dying face.
"The name of Evelyn's father?" he repeated slowly, as the terrible smile spread across his dying face.
The light was growing strangely dim in the great room. As Evelyn looked, Nurse Macdonald's crooked shadow on the wall grew gigantic. Sir Hugh's breath came thick, rattling in his throat, as death crept in like a snake and choked it back. Evelyn prayed aloud, high and clear.
The light was fading oddly in the spacious room. As Evelyn watched, Nurse Macdonald's crooked shadow on the wall became enormous. Sir Hugh's breath came heavy, rattling in his throat, as death sneaked in like a snake and squeezed it back. Evelyn prayed out loud, loud and clear.
Then something rapped at the window, and she felt her hair rise upon her head in a cool breeze, as she looked around in spite of herself. And when she saw her own white face looking in at the window, and her own eyes staring at her through the glass, wide and fearful, and her own hair streaming against the pane, and her own lips dashed with blood, she rose slowly from the floor and stood rigid for one moment, till she screamed once and fell straight back into Gabriel's arms. But the shriek that answered hers was the fear-shriek of the tormented corpse, out of which the soul cannot pass for shame of deadly sins, though the devils fight in it with corruption, each for their due share.
Then something knocked at the window, and she felt a chill breeze make her hair stand on end as she looked around despite herself. When she saw her own pale face staring in at the window, her own wide, fearful eyes through the glass, her hair pressed against the pane, and her own lips smeared with blood, she slowly rose from the floor and stood frozen for a moment before she screamed and fell directly into Gabriel's arms. But the scream that answered hers was the terrifying wail of a tormented corpse, trapped in shame over its deadly sins, while the devils within battled for their share of corruption.
Sir Hugh Ockram sat upright in his deathbed, and saw and cried aloud:
Sir Hugh Ockram sat up in his deathbed and shouted:
"Evelyn!" His harsh voice broke and rattled in his chest as he sank down. But still Nurse[Pg 18] Macdonald tortured him, for there was a little life left in him still.
"Evelyn!" His rough voice broke and strained in his chest as he sank down. But Nurse[Pg 18] Macdonald still kept pushing him, because there was still a bit of life left in him.
"You have seen the mother as she waits for you, Hugh Ockram. Who was this girl Evelyn's father? What was his name?"
"You've seen the mother waiting for you, Hugh Ockram. Who was Evelyn's father? What was his name?"
For the last time the dreadful smile came upon the twisted lips, very slowly, very surely now, and the toad eyes glared red, and the parchment face glowed a little in the flickering light. For the last time words came.
For the last time, the horrifying smile appeared on the twisted lips, very slowly, definitely now, and the toad-like eyes glared red, and the parchment-like face glowed slightly in the flickering light. For the last time, words flowed.
"They know it in hell."
"They know it in hell."
Then the glowing eyes went out quickly, the yellow face turned waxen pale, and a great shiver ran through the thin body as Hugh Ockram died.
Then the glowing eyes shut down quickly, the yellow face turned a waxy pale, and a shiver coursed through the thin body as Hugh Ockram passed away.
But in death he still smiled, for he knew his secret and kept it still, on the other side, and he would take it with him, to lie with him for ever in the north vault of the chapel where the Ockrams lie uncoffined in their shrouds—all but one. Though he was dead, he smiled, for he had kept his treasure of evil truth to the end, and there was none left to tell the name he had spoken, but there was all the evil he had not undone left to bear fruit.
But even in death, he still smiled, because he knew his secret and kept it hidden, on the other side, and he would take it with him, to rest forever in the north vault of the chapel where the Ockrams lie shrouded but uncoffined—all except one. Though he was gone, he smiled, because he had held onto his treasure of dark truth until the end, and no one was left to reveal the name he had once spoken, but all the evil he hadn't undone remained to bear fruit.
As they watched—Nurse Macdonald and Gabriel, who held Evelyn still unconscious in his arms while he looked at the father—they[Pg 19] felt the dead smile crawling along their own lips—the ancient crone and the youth with the angel's face. Then they shivered a little, and both looked at Evelyn as she lay with her head on his shoulder, and, though she was very beautiful, the same sickening smile was twisting her young mouth too, and it was like the foreshadowing of a great evil which they could not understand.
As they watched—Nurse Macdonald and Gabriel, who held Evelyn still unconscious in his arms while he looked at the father—they[Pg 19] felt a dead smile creeping onto their own lips—the ancient woman and the young man with the angelic face. Then they felt a shiver run through them, and both glanced at Evelyn as she rested her head on his shoulder. Even though she was incredibly beautiful, the same disturbing smile twisted her young mouth too, and it felt like a sign of an impending evil that they couldn’t grasp.
But by and by they carried Evelyn out, and she opened her eyes and the smile was gone. From far away in the great house the sound of weeping and crooning came up the stairs and echoed along the dismal corridors, for the women had begun to mourn the dead master, after the Irish fashion, and the hall had echoes of its own all that night, like the far-off wail of the banshee among forest trees.
But eventually, they carried Evelyn out, and she opened her eyes, and the smile had faded. From far away in the big house, the sound of crying and singing floated up the stairs and echoed through the gloomy hallways, as the women started to mourn the departed master in the Irish way, and the hall had its own echoes all that night, like the distant wail of a banshee among the trees.
When the time was come they took Sir Hugh in his winding-sheet on a trestle bier, and bore him to the chapel and through the iron door and down the long descent to the north vault, with tapers, to lay him by his father. And two men went in first to prepare the place, and came back staggering like drunken men, and white, leaving their lights behind them.
When the time came, they carried Sir Hugh in his shroud on a trestle bier, taking him to the chapel, through the iron door, and down the long stairs to the north vault, holding candles, to lay him next to his father. Two men went in first to get the place ready and returned looking pale and unsteady, like they were drunk, leaving their lights behind them.
But Gabriel Ockram was not afraid, for he knew. And he went in alone and saw that[Pg 20] the body of Sir Vernon Ockram was leaning upright against the stone wall, and that its head lay on the ground near by with the face turned up, and the dried leathern lips smiled horribly at the dried-up corpse, while the iron coffin, lined with black velvet, stood open on the floor.
But Gabriel Ockram wasn’t scared, because he understood. He entered alone and saw that[Pg 20] Sir Vernon Ockram’s body was propped up against the stone wall, with its head lying on the ground nearby, face up, and the dried lips grinned grotesquely at the withered corpse, while the iron coffin, lined with black velvet, stood open on the floor.
Then Gabriel took the thing in his hands, for it was very light, being quite dried by the air of the vault, and those who peeped in from the door saw him lay it in the coffin again, and it rustled a little, like a bundle of reeds, and sounded hollow as it touched the sides and the bottom. He also placed the head upon the shoulders and shut down the lid, which fell to with a rusty spring that snapped.
Then Gabriel picked it up because it was really light, dried out by the air of the vault. People peeking in from the door saw him put it back in the coffin, and it rustled a bit like a bundle of reeds, sounding hollow as it hit the sides and bottom. He also placed the head on the shoulders and closed the lid, which shut with a rusty spring that snapped.
After that they laid Sir Hugh beside his father, with the trestle bier on which they had brought him, and they went back to the chapel.
After that, they laid Sir Hugh next to his father, using the trestle bier on which they had brought him, and then they returned to the chapel.
But when they saw one another's faces, master and men, they were all smiling with the dead smile of the corpse they had left in the vault, so that they could not bear to look at one another until it had faded away.
But when they saw each other's faces, master and men, they were all smiling with the lifeless smile of the corpse they had left in the vault, so they couldn't stand to look at one another until it faded away.
CHAPTER 3
Gabriel Ockram became Sir Gabriel, inheriting the baronetcy with the half-ruined fortune left by his father, and still Evelyn Warburton lived at Ockram Hall, in the south room that had been hers ever since she could remember anything. She could not go away, for there were no relatives to whom she could have gone, and, besides, there seemed to be no reason why she should not stay. The world would never trouble itself to care what the Ockrams did on their Irish estates, and it was long since the Ockrams had asked anything of the world.
Gabriel Ockram became Sir Gabriel, inheriting the baronetcy along with the almost ruined fortune left by his father, and Evelyn Warburton still lived at Ockram Hall, in the south room that had been hers for as long as she could remember. She couldn’t leave, as there were no relatives she could go to, and besides, there seemed to be no reason for her to leave. The world would never bother to care about what the Ockrams did on their Irish estates, and it had been a long time since the Ockrams had asked anything of the world.
So Sir Gabriel took his father's place at the dark old table in the dining-room, and Evelyn sat opposite to him, until such time as their mourning should be over, and they might be married at last. And meanwhile their lives went on as before, since Sir Hugh had been a hopeless invalid during the last year of his life, and they had seen him but once a day for a little while, spending most of their time together in a strangely perfect companionship.
So Sir Gabriel sat in his father's spot at the dark old table in the dining room, while Evelyn sat across from him, until their mourning period ended and they could finally get married. In the meantime, their lives continued as before, since Sir Hugh had been a hopeless invalid during the last year of his life, and they saw him only once a day for a short time, spending most of their time together in an unusually perfect companionship.
But though the late summer saddened into autumn, and autumn darkened into winter, and storm followed storm, and rain poured on rain[Pg 22] through the short days and the long nights, yet Ockram Hall seemed less gloomy since Sir Hugh had been laid in the north vault beside his father. And at Christmastide Evelyn decked the great hall with holly and green boughs, and huge fires blazed on every hearth. Then the tenants were all bidden to a New Year's dinner, and they ate and drank well, while Sir Gabriel sat at the head of the table. Evelyn came in when the port wine was brought, and the most respected of the tenants made a speech to propose her health.
But even as late summer faded into autumn, and autumn turned into winter, with storms following storms and rain pouring down during the short days and long nights[Pg 22], Ockram Hall felt less gloomy since Sir Hugh had been laid to rest in the north vault next to his father. At Christmas, Evelyn decorated the great hall with holly and green branches, and large fires roared in every fireplace. Then all the tenants were invited to a New Year's dinner, where they enjoyed good food and drink while Sir Gabriel sat at the head of the table. Evelyn joined in when the port wine was served, and the most respected tenant made a toast to honor her.
It was long, he said, since there had been a Lady Ockram. Sir Gabriel shaded his eyes with his hand and looked down at the table, but a faint colour came into Evelyn's transparent cheeks. But, said the grey-haired farmer, it was longer still since there had been a Lady Ockram so fair as the next was to be, and he gave the health of Evelyn Warburton.
It had been a while, he said, since there had been a Lady Ockram. Sir Gabriel shielded his eyes with his hand and glanced down at the table, but a subtle blush appeared on Evelyn's clear cheeks. But, said the grey-haired farmer, it had been even longer since there had been a Lady Ockram as beautiful as the next one would be, and he raised a toast to the health of Evelyn Warburton.
Then the tenants all stood up and shouted for her, and Sir Gabriel stood up likewise, beside Evelyn. And when the men gave the last and loudest cheer of all there was a voice not theirs, above them all, higher, fiercer, louder—a scream not earthly, shrieking for the bride of Ockram Hall. And the holly and the green boughs over the great chimney-piece shook and slowly waved as if a cool breeze were blowing[Pg 23] over them. But the men turned very pale, and many of them set down their glasses, but others let them fall upon the floor for fear. And looking into one another's faces, they were all smiling strangely, a dead smile, like dead Sir Hugh's. One cried out words in Irish, and the fear of death was suddenly upon them all, so that they fled in panic, falling over one another like wild beasts in the burning forest, when the thick smoke runs along before the flame; and the tables were over-set, and drinking glasses and bottles were broken in heaps, and the dark red wine crawled like blood upon the polished floor.
Then all the tenants stood up and cheered for her, and Sir Gabriel joined them, standing next to Evelyn. When the men let out their final and loudest cheer, there was a voice that rose above all of theirs—higher, fiercer, louder—a scream that was not of this world, calling out for the bride of Ockram Hall. The holly and green branches above the massive fireplace trembled and swayed as if a cool breeze was blowing over them. But the men went very pale, and many set down their glasses, while others dropped them on the floor in fear. Looking at each other's faces, they wore strange, lifeless smiles, similar to that of dead Sir Hugh. One shouted something in Irish, and suddenly the fear of death gripped them all, causing them to flee in a panic, stumbling over one another like wild animals escaping a raging fire, as thick smoke rolled ahead of the flames; tables were overturned, drinking glasses and bottles smashed into pieces, and dark red wine pooled on the polished floor like blood.
Sir Gabriel and Evelyn stood alone at the head of the table before the wreck of the feast, not daring to turn to see each other, for each knew that the other smiled. But his right arm held her and his left hand clasped her right as they stared before them; and but for the shadows of her hair one might not have told their two faces apart. They listened long, but the cry came not again, and the dead smile faded from their lips, while each remembered that Sir Hugh Ockram lay in the north vault, smiling in his winding-sheet, in the dark, because he had died with his secret.
Sir Gabriel and Evelyn stood together at the head of the table, surrounded by the remnants of the feast, hesitant to look at each other because they both knew the other was smiling. His right arm was around her, and his left hand held hers as they stared ahead; if it weren't for the shadows of her hair, it might have been hard to tell their faces apart. They listened for a long time, but the cry didn’t come again, and the ghost of a smile vanished from their lips as they each remembered that Sir Hugh Ockram was in the north vault, smiling in his shroud, in the dark, because he had died with his secret.
So ended the tenants' New Year's dinner. But from that time on Sir Gabriel grew more and more silent, and his face grew even paler and[Pg 24] thinner than before. Often, without warning and without words, he would rise from his seat, as if something moved him against his will, and he would go out into the rain or the sunshine to the north side of the chapel, and sit on the stone bench, staring at the ground as if he could see through it, and through the vault below, and through the white winding-sheet in the dark, to the dead smile that would not die.
So ended the tenants' New Year's dinner. But after that, Sir Gabriel became quieter and his face grew even paler and[Pg 24] thinner than before. Often, without warning or a word, he would get up from his seat as if something compelled him against his will, and he would step outside into the rain or sunshine to the north side of the chapel, sitting on the stone bench, staring at the ground as if he could see through it, through the vault below, and through the white winding-sheet in the dark, to the dead smile that wouldn't fade away.
Always when he went out in that way Evelyn came out presently and sat beside him. Once, too, as in summer, their beautiful faces came suddenly near, and their lids drooped, and their red lips were almost joined together. But as their eyes met, they grew wide and wild, so that the white showed in a ring all round the deep violet, and their teeth chattered, and their hands were like hands of corpses, each in the other's, for the terror of what was under their feet, and of what they knew but could not see.
Always when he went out like that, Evelyn would soon come out and sit beside him. Once, during the summer, their beautiful faces suddenly drew close, their eyelids drooping, and their red lips almost touching. But when their eyes met, they widened and became frantic, showing the white all around the deep violet of their irises, their teeth chattering, and their hands felt like the hands of corpses, each in the other's grasp, gripped by the fear of what was beneath them and of what they knew but couldn't see.
Once, also, Evelyn found Sir Gabriel in the chapel alone, standing before the iron door that led down to the place of death, and in his hand there was the key to the door; but he had not put it into the lock. Evelyn drew him away, shivering, for she had also been driven in waking dreams to see that terrible thing again, and to find out whether it had changed since it had lain there.
Once, Evelyn found Sir Gabriel alone in the chapel, standing in front of the iron door that led down to the place of death, holding the key to the door; but he hadn't put it in the lock. Evelyn pulled him away, shivering, because she, too, had been drawn into waking dreams to see that horrible thing again and to discover if it had changed since it had been there.
"I'm going mad," said Sir Gabriel, covering his eyes with his hand as he went with her. "I see it in my sleep, I see it when I am awake—it draws me to it, day and night—and unless I see it I shall die!"
"I'm going crazy," Sir Gabriel said, covering his eyes with his hand as he walked with her. "I see it in my dreams, I see it when I'm awake—it pulls me toward it, day and night—and if I don't see it, I swear I'll die!"
"I know," answered Evelyn, "I know. It is as if threads were spun from it, like a spider's, drawing us down to it." She was silent for a moment, and then she started violently and grasped his arm with a man's strength, and almost screamed the words she spoke. "But we must not go there!" she cried. "We must not go!"
"I know," Evelyn replied, "I know. It's like threads are being spun from it, like a spider's web, pulling us toward it." She paused for a moment, then suddenly tensed up, grabbed his arm with surprising strength, and nearly shouted the words she said. "But we can't go there!" she exclaimed. "We must not go!"
Sir Gabriel's eyes were half shut, and he was not moved by the agony of her face.
Sir Gabriel's eyes were partially closed, and he was unaffected by the pain on her face.
"I shall die, unless I see it again," he said, in a quiet voice not like his own. And all that day and that evening he scarcely spoke, thinking of it, always thinking, while Evelyn Warburton quivered from head to foot with a terror she had never known.
"I'll die if I don't see it again," he said, in a soft voice that didn't sound like him. And all that day and evening, he hardly spoke, consumed by his thoughts, while Evelyn Warburton trembled from head to toe with a fear she had never experienced before.
She went alone, on a grey winter's morning, to Nurse Macdonald's room in the tower, and sat down beside the great leathern easy-chair, laying her thin white hand upon the withered fingers.
She went by herself on a gray winter morning to Nurse Macdonald's room in the tower and sat down next to the large leather armchair, placing her thin white hand on the withered fingers.
"Nurse," she said, "what was it that Uncle Hugh should have told you, that night before he died? It must have been an awful secret[Pg 26]—and yet, though you asked him, I feel somehow that you know it, and that you know why he used to smile so dreadfully."
"Nurse," she said, "what was it that Uncle Hugh should have told you that night before he died? It must have been a terrible secret[Pg 26]—and yet, even though you asked him, I have a feeling you know it, and you know why he used to smile so hauntingly."
The old woman's head moved slowly from side to side.
The old woman's head swayed slowly from side to side.
"I only guess—I shall never know," she answered slowly in her cracked little voice.
"I can only guess—I’ll never know," she replied slowly in her raspy little voice.
"But what do you guess? Who am I? Why did you ask who my father was? You know I am Colonel Warburton's daughter, and my mother was Lady Ockram's sister, so that Gabriel and I are cousins. My father was killed in Afghanistan. What secret can there be?"
"But what do you think? Who am I? Why did you ask who my dad was? You know I'm Colonel Warburton's daughter, and my mom was Lady Ockram's sister, so Gabriel and I are cousins. My dad was killed in Afghanistan. What secret could there be?"
"I do not know. I can only guess."
"I don't know. I can only guess."
"Guess what?" asked Evelyn imploringly, and pressing the soft withered hands, as she leaned forward. But Nurse Macdonald's wrinkled lids dropped suddenly over her queer blue eyes, and her lips shook a little with her breath, as if she were asleep.
"Guess what?" Evelyn asked eagerly, squeezing the soft, withered hands as she leaned in. But Nurse Macdonald's wrinkled eyelids suddenly closed over her strange blue eyes, and her lips trembled slightly with her breath, as if she were asleep.
Evelyn waited. By the fire the Irish maid was knitting fast, and the needles clicked like three or four clocks ticking against each other. And the real clock on the wall solemnly ticked alone, checking off the seconds of the woman who was a hundred years old, and had not many days left. Outside the ivy branch beat the window in the wintry blast, as it had beaten against the glass a hundred years ago.
Evelyn waited. By the fire, the Irish maid was knitting quickly, and the needles clicked like several clocks ticking in sync. The real clock on the wall solemnly ticked on its own, marking the seconds of the woman who was a hundred years old and didn’t have many days left. Outside, the ivy branch hammered against the window in the winter wind, just like it had against the glass a hundred years ago.
Then as Evelyn sat there she felt again the waking of a horrible desire—the sickening wish to go down, down to the thing in the north vault, and to open the winding-sheet, and see whether it had changed; and she held Nurse Macdonald's hands as if to keep herself in her place and fight against the appalling attraction of the evil dead.
Then, as Evelyn sat there, she felt the return of a terrible desire—the nauseating urge to go down, down to the thing in the northern vault, to open the shroud, and see if it had changed; and she clutched Nurse Macdonald's hands as if to anchor herself in her seat and resist the horrifying pull of the evil dead.
But the old cat that kept Nurse Macdonald's feet warm, lying always on the bag footstool, got up and stretched itself, and looked up into Evelyn's eyes, while its back arched, and its tail thickened and bristled, and its ugly pink lips drew back in a devilish grin, showing its sharp teeth. Evelyn stared at it, half fascinated by its ugliness. Then the creature suddenly put out one paw with all its claws spread, and spat at the girl, and all at once the grinning cat was like the smiling corpse far down below, so that Evelyn shivered down to her small feet, and covered her face with her free hand, lest Nurse Macdonald should wake and see the dead smile there, for she could feel it.
But the old cat that kept Nurse Macdonald’s feet warm, always lying on the big footstool, got up, stretched, and looked into Evelyn’s eyes. Its back arched, its tail puffed up and bristled, and its ugly pink lips curled back in a devilish grin, revealing its sharp teeth. Evelyn stared at it, half fascinated by its ugliness. Then the creature suddenly extended one paw with all its claws out and spat at her. In that moment, the grinning cat reminded her of the smiling corpse far below, making Evelyn shiver down to her small feet. She covered her face with her free hand, afraid Nurse Macdonald would wake up and see the dead smile there, which she could almost feel.
The old woman had already opened her eyes again, and she touched her cat with the end of her crutch-stick, whereupon its back went down and its tail shrunk, and it sidled back to its place on the bag footstool. But its yellow eyes looked up sideways at Evelyn, between the slits of its lids.
The old woman had opened her eyes again, and she poked her cat with the tip of her crutch, causing its back to arch down and its tail to retract as it slinked back to its spot on the bag footstool. But its yellow eyes glanced up at Evelyn from the gaps of its eyelids.
"What is it that you guess, nurse?" asked the young girl again.
"What do you think, nurse?" the young girl asked again.
"A bad thing—a wicked thing. But I dare not tell you, lest it might not be true, and the very thought should blast your life. For if I guess right, he meant that you should not know, and that you two should marry, and pay for his old sin with your souls."
"A terrible thing—a horrible thing. But I can't tell you, in case it isn't true, and just thinking about it could ruin your life. Because if I’m right, he meant for you to remain in the dark, and for you two to get married and pay for his past sins with your lives."
"He used to tell us that we ought not to marry——"
"He would tell us that we shouldn't get married——"
"Yes—he told you that, perhaps—but it was as if a man put poisoned meat before a starving beast, and said 'do not eat,' but never raised his hand to take the meat away. And if he told you that you should not marry, it was because he hoped you would; for of all men living or dead, Hugh Ockram was the falsest man that ever told a cowardly lie, and the cruelest that ever hurt a weak woman, and the worst that ever loved a sin."
"Yes—he probably told you that, but it was like a man placing poisoned meat in front of a starving animal and saying 'don't eat,' yet never taking the meat away. And if he said you shouldn’t marry, it was because he actually wanted you to; for of all the men who have ever lived or died, Hugh Ockram was the most deceitful man who ever told a cowardly lie, the cruelest who ever harmed a vulnerable woman, and the worst who ever loved a sin."
"But Gabriel and I love each other," said Evelyn very sadly.
"But Gabriel and I love each other," Evelyn said sadly.
Nurse Macdonald's old eyes looked far away, at sights seen long ago, and that rose in the grey winter air amid the mists of an ancient youth.
Nurse Macdonald's tired eyes stared into the distance, remembering places she had visited a long time ago, rising in the gray winter air amid the fog of her distant youth.
"If you love, you can die together," she said, very slowly. "Why should you live, if it is[Pg 29] true? I am a hundred years old. What has life given me? The beginning is fire; the end is a heap of ashes; and between the end and the beginning lies all the pain of the world. Let me sleep, since I cannot die."
"If you truly love, you can die together," she said slowly. "Why live if that's the case? I’m a hundred years old. What has life given me? It starts with fire and ends in a pile of ashes, and between the start and the end lies all the pain in the world. Let me sleep, since I can't die."
Then the old woman's eyes closed again, and her head sank a little lower upon her breast.
Then the old woman's eyes shut again, and her head drooped a bit lower onto her chest.
So Evelyn went away and left her asleep, with the cat asleep on the bag footstool; and the young girl tried to forget Nurse Macdonald's words, but she could not, for she heard them over and over again in the wind, and behind her on the stairs. And as she grew sick with fear of the frightful unknown evil to which her soul was bound, she felt a bodily something pressing her, and pushing her, and forcing her on, and from the other side she felt the threads that drew her mysteriously: and when she shut her eyes, she saw in the chapel behind the altar, the low iron door through which she must pass to go to the thing.
So Evelyn left her asleep, with the cat dozing on the bag footstool; and the young girl tried to forget Nurse Macdonald's words, but she couldn't, as they echoed in the wind and behind her on the stairs. As she became increasingly afraid of the frightening unknown evil that her soul was tied to, she felt a physical pressure pushing her forward, and from the other side, she sensed the threads pulling her mysteriously: and when she closed her eyes, she saw in the chapel behind the altar the low iron door she had to go through to reach the thing.
And as she lay awake at night, she drew the sheet over her face, lest she should see shadows on the wall beckoning to her; and the sound of her own warm breath made whisperings in her ears, while she held the mattress with her hands, to keep from getting up and going to the chapel. It would have been easier if there had not been[Pg 30] a way thither through the library, by a door which was never locked. It would be fearfully easy to take her candle and go softly through the sleeping house. And the key of the vault lay under the altar behind a stone that turned. She knew the little secret. She could go alone and see.
And as she lay awake at night, she pulled the sheet over her face, so she wouldn’t see shadows on the wall calling to her. The sound of her own warm breath whispered in her ears while she clutched the mattress with her hands to keep from getting up and going to the chapel. It would have been easier if there wasn’t[Pg 30] a way there through the library, by a door that was never locked. It would be so easy to take her candle and quietly walk through the sleeping house. And the key to the vault was under the altar behind a stone that turned. She knew the little secret. She could go alone and see.
But when she thought of it, she felt her hair rise on her head, and first she shivered so that the bed shook, and then the horror went through her in a cold thrill that was agony again, like myriads of icy needles boring into her nerves.
But when she thought about it, she felt her hair stand on end, and first she shivered so hard that the bed shook, and then the horror swept through her in a cold wave that was painful again, like thousands of icy needles piercing her nerves.
CHAPTER 4
The old clock in Nurse Macdonald's tower struck midnight. From her room she could hear the creaking chains and weights in their box in the corner of the staircase, and overhead the jarring of the rusty lever that lifted the hammer. She had heard it all her life. It struck eleven strokes clearly, and then came the twelfth, with a dull half stroke, as though the hammer were too weary to go on, and had fallen asleep against the bell.
The old clock in Nurse Macdonald's tower chimed midnight. From her room, she could hear the creaking chains and weights in their box in the corner of the staircase, and overhead the clanging of the rusty lever that raised the hammer. She had heard it throughout her life. It rang out eleven clear chimes, followed by the twelfth, which was a dull half chime, as if the hammer was too tired to continue and had dozed off against the bell.
The old cat got up from the bag footstool and stretched itself, and Nurse Macdonald opened her ancient eyes and looked slowly round the[Pg 31] room by the dim light of the night lamp. She touched the cat with her crutch-stick, and it lay down upon her feet. She drank a few drops from her cup and went to sleep again.
The old cat got up from the bag footstool and stretched out, and Nurse Macdonald opened her tired eyes and looked slowly around the[Pg 31] room by the soft glow of the night lamp. She tapped the cat with her crutch, and it settled down on her feet. She took a few sips from her cup and fell asleep again.
But downstairs Sir Gabriel sat straight up as the clock struck, for he had dreamed a fearful dream of horror, and his heart stood still, till he awoke at its stopping, and it beat again furiously with his breath, like a wild thing set free. No Ockram had ever known fear waking, but sometimes it came to Sir Gabriel in his sleep.
But downstairs, Sir Gabriel sat straight up as the clock struck because he had dreamed a terrifying dream, and his heart stopped until he woke up when it finally resumed, beating wildly with his breath, like a creature released from captivity. No Ockram had ever experienced fear while awake, but sometimes it visited Sir Gabriel in his sleep.
He pressed his hands to his temples as he sat up in bed, and his hands were icy cold, but his head was hot. The dream faded far, and in its place there came the master thought that racked his life; with the thought also came the sick twisting of his lips in the dark that would have been a smile. Far off, Evelyn Warburton dreamed that the dead smile was on her mouth, and awoke, starting with a little moan, her face in her hands, shivering.
He pressed his hands to his temples as he sat up in bed, his hands icy cold while his head felt hot. The dream faded away, replaced by the overwhelming thought that tormented his life; along with that thought came the sick twist of his lips in the dark that could have been a smile. Far away, Evelyn Warburton dreamed that a dead smile was on her mouth, and she woke up with a small moan, her face in her hands, shivering.
But Sir Gabriel struck a light and got up and began to walk up and down his great room. It was midnight, and he had barely slept an hour, and in the north of Ireland the winter nights are long.
But Sir Gabriel lit a match, got up, and started pacing around his large room. It was midnight, and he had hardly slept for an hour, and in northern Ireland, winter nights are long.
"I shall go mad," he said to himself, holding his forehead. He knew that it was true. For weeks and months the possession of the thing had grown[Pg 32] upon him like a disease, till he could think of nothing without thinking first of that. And now all at once it outgrew his strength, and he knew that he must be its instrument or lose his mind—that he must do the deed he hated and feared, if he could fear anything, or that something would snap in his brain and divide him from life while he was yet alive. He took the candlestick in his hand, the old-fashioned heavy candlestick that had always been used by the head of the house. He did not think of dressing, but went as he was, in his silk night clothes and his slippers, and he opened the door. Everything was very still in the great old house. He shut the door behind him and walked noiselessly on the carpet through the long corridor. A cool breeze blew over his shoulder and blew the flame of his candle straight out from him. Instinctively he stopped and looked round, but all was still, and the upright flame burned steadily. He walked on, and instantly a strong draught was behind him, almost extinguishing the light. It seemed to blow him on his way, ceasing whenever he turned, coming again when he went on—invisible, icy.
"I’m going to lose it," he said to himself, pressing his forehead. He knew it was true. For weeks and months, the burden of this thing had grown on him like a disease, until he couldn’t think of anything without first considering that. And now, suddenly it had overwhelmed him, and he realized he had to either act as its tool or lose his sanity—that he had to do the thing he hated and feared, if he was capable of fear at all, or else something would snap in his mind and separate him from life while he was still alive. He picked up the candlestick in his hand, the old, heavy candlestick that had always been used by the head of the house. He didn’t think about getting dressed, but went as he was, in his silk pajamas and slippers, and opened the door. Everything was very quiet in the big old house. He shut the door behind him and moved silently on the carpet through the long hallway. A cool breeze blew over his shoulder and pushed the flame of his candle straight out in front of him. Instinctively, he paused and looked around, but everything was still, and the upright flame burned steadily. He continued walking, and instantly a strong draft came from behind him, almost snuffing out the light. It felt like it was urging him on, stopping whenever he turned, only to return when he moved forward—invisible, icy.
Down the great staircase to the echoing hall he went, seeing nothing but the flaring flame of the candle standing away from him over the guttering wax, while the cold wind blew over his shoulder[Pg 33] and through his hair. On he passed through the open door into the library, dark with old books and carved bookcases; on through the door in the shelves, with painted shelves on it, and the imitated backs of books, so that one needed to know where to find it—and it shut itself after him with a soft click. He entered the low-arched passage, and though the door was shut behind him and fitted tightly in its frame, still the cold breeze blew the flame forward as he walked. And he was not afraid; but his face was very pale, and his eyes were wide and bright, looking before him, seeing already in the dark air the picture of the thing beyond. But in the chapel he stood still, his hand on the little turning stone tablet in the back of the stone altar. On the tablet were engraved words: "Clavis sepulchri Clarissimorum Dominorum De Ockram"—("the key to the vault of the most illustrious lords of Ockram"). Sir Gabriel paused and listened. He fancied that he heard a sound far off in the great house where all had been so still, but it did not come again. Yet he waited at the last, and looked at the low iron door. Beyond it, down the long descent, lay his father uncoffined, six months dead, corrupt, terrible in his clinging shroud. The strangely preserving air of the vault could not yet have done its work completely. But on the thing's ghastly features, with their [Pg 34]half-dried, open eyes, there would still be the frightful smile with which the man had died—the smile that haunted——
Down the grand staircase to the echoing hall he went, only seeing the flickering flame of the candle off to the side, its wax dripping. The cold wind blew over his shoulder and through his hair. He moved through the open door into the library, filled with dark, old books and ornate bookcases; then through the door in the shelves, decorated with painted designs and fake book spines, so one really had to know where to look—and it shut softly behind him with a click. He stepped into the low-arched passage, and even though the door was firmly closed, the cold breeze pushed the flame forward as he walked. He wasn’t afraid; his face was very pale, and his eyes were wide and bright, gazing ahead, already seeing in the dark air the image of what lay beyond. But in the chapel he paused, his hand resting on the small turning stone tablet at the back of the stone altar. The tablet bore the inscription: "Clavis sepulchri Clarissimorum Dominorum De Ockram"—("the key to the vault of the most illustrious lords of Ockram"). Sir Gabriel stopped and listened. He thought he heard a sound coming from deep within the big house where everything had been so quiet, but it didn’t come again. Still, he waited, watching the low iron door. Beyond it, down the long descent, lay his father unburied, six months dead, decayed, terrifying in his tattered shroud. The strangely preserving air of the vault couldn’t have completed its work yet. But on the thing’s ghastly features, with their half-dried, open eyes, there would still be the horrifying smile with which the man had died—the smile that haunted——
As the thought crossed Sir Gabriel's mind, he felt his lips writhing, and he struck his own mouth in wrath with the back of his hand so fiercely that a drop of blood ran down his chin, and another, and more, falling back in the gloom upon the chapel pavement. But still his bruised lips twisted themselves. He turned the tablet by the simple secret. It needed no safer fastening, for had each Ockram been coffined in pure gold, and had the door been open wide, there was not a man in Tyrone brave enough to go down to that place, saving Gabriel Ockram himself, with his angel's face and his thin, white hands, and his sad unflinching eyes. He took the great old key and set it into the lock of the iron door; and the heavy, rattling noise echoed down the descent beyond like footsteps, as if a watcher had stood behind the iron and were running away within, with heavy dead feet. And though he was standing still, the cool wind was from behind him, and blew the flame of the candle against the iron panel. He turned the key.
As the thought crossed Sir Gabriel's mind, he felt his lips twisting in pain, and he hit his own mouth in anger with the back of his hand so hard that a drop of blood ran down his chin, and then another, falling back into the darkness on the chapel floor. But still, his injured lips kept twisting. He turned the tablet with a simple trick. It didn’t need a safer lock, because even if each Ockram had been buried in pure gold and the door was wide open, not a single man in Tyrone would have been brave enough to go down to that place, except for Gabriel Ockram himself, with his angelic face, thin white hands, and sad, unwavering eyes. He took the old, heavy key and inserted it into the lock of the iron door; the loud, rattling noise echoed down the steps like footsteps, as if someone were standing behind the iron and was running away inside, with heavy dead feet. And even though he stood still, a cool breeze came from behind him, blowing the candle flame against the iron panel. He turned the key.
Sir Gabriel saw that his candle was short. There were new ones on the altar, with long candlesticks, and he lit one, and left his own burning on the floor. As he set it down on the pavement his lip[Pg 35] began to bleed again, and another drop fell upon the stones.
Sir Gabriel noticed that his candle was short. There were new ones on the altar, with tall candlesticks, so he lit one and left his own burning on the floor. As he placed it down on the pavement, his lip[Pg 35] started to bleed again, and another drop fell onto the stones.
He drew the iron door open and pushed it back against the chapel wall, so that it should not shut of itself, while he was within; and the horrible draught of the sepulchre came up out of the depths in his face, foul and dark. He went in, but though the fetid air met him, yet the flame of the tall candle was blown straight from him against the wind while he walked down the easy incline with steady steps, his loose slippers slapping the pavement as he trod.
He pulled the iron door open and pushed it back against the chapel wall, so it wouldn't close on its own while he was inside; a terrible draft from the depths hit him in the face, dank and dark. He stepped inside, and even though the stench of the air assaulted him, the flame of the tall candle was blown directly in front of him by the wind as he walked down the gentle slope with steady steps, his loose slippers slapping against the pavement with each step he took.
He shaded the candle with his hand, and his fingers seemed to be made of wax and blood as the light shone through them. And in spite of him the unearthly draught forced the flame forward, till it was blue over the black wick, and it seemed as if it must go out. But he went straight on, with shining eyes.
He covered the candle with his hand, and his fingers looked like they were made of wax and blood as the light shone through them. Despite his efforts, the eerie draft pushed the flame forward, making it turn blue over the dark wick, and it looked like it might go out. But he kept moving forward, with bright eyes.
The downward passage was wide, and he could not always see the walls by the struggling light, but he knew when he was in the place of death by the larger, drearier echo of his steps in the greater space, and by the sensation of a distant blank wall. He stood still, almost enclosing the flame of the candle in the hollow of his hand. He could see a little, for his eyes were growing used to the gloom. Shadowy forms were outlined in the dimness, where[Pg 36] the biers of the Ockrams stood crowded together, side by side, each with its straight, shrouded corpse, strangely preserved by the dry air, like the empty shell that the locust sheds in summer. And a few steps before him he saw clearly the dark shape of headless Sir Vernon's iron coffin, and he knew that nearest to it lay the thing he sought.
The downward passage was wide, and he couldn't always see the walls in the flickering light, but he knew he was in the place of death by the heavier, gloomier echo of his footsteps in the larger space, and by the feeling of a distant blank wall. He paused, almost cupping the candle's flame in his hand. He could see a little, as his eyes were adjusting to the darkness. Shadowy figures were outlined in the dim light, where[Pg 36] the biers of the Ockrams stood close together, each with its straight, shrouded corpse, oddly preserved by the dry air, like the empty shell that locusts shed in summer. And a few steps ahead, he clearly saw the dark shape of headless Sir Vernon's iron coffin, and he knew that the thing he was looking for lay closest to it.
He was as brave as any of those dead men had been, and they were his fathers, and he knew that sooner or later he should lie there himself, beside Sir Hugh, slowly drying to a parchment shell. But he was still alive, and he closed his eyes a moment, and three great drops stood on his forehead.
He was just as brave as any of those dead men had been, and they were his fathers. He knew that sooner or later he would end up lying there himself, next to Sir Hugh, slowly turning into a dried-out shell. But he was still alive, so he closed his eyes for a moment, and three large drops of sweat formed on his forehead.
Then he looked again, and by the whiteness of the winding-sheet he knew his father's corpse, for all the others were brown with age; and, moreover, the flame of the candle was blown toward it. He made four steps till he reached it, and suddenly the light burned straight and high, shedding a dazzling yellow glare upon the fine linen that was all white, save over the face, and where the joined hands were laid on the breast. And at those places ugly stains had spread, darkened with outlines of the features and of the tight-clasped fingers. There was a frightful stench of drying death.
Then he looked again, and by the whiteness of the shroud he recognized his father's body, since all the others were brown with age; and, besides, the candle's flame was blown toward it. He took four steps until he reached it, and suddenly the light burned straight and bright, casting a dazzling yellow glow on the fine linen that was completely white, except for the face and where the joined hands lay on the chest. And at those spots, ugly stains had spread, darkening the outlines of the features and the tightly clasped fingers. There was a terrible smell of decaying death.
As Sir Gabriel looked down, something stirred behind him, softly at first, then more noisily, and something fell to the stone floor with a dull thud[Pg 37] and rolled up to his feet; he started back and saw a withered head lying almost face upward on the pavement, grinning at him. He felt the cold sweat standing on his face, and his heart beat painfully.
As Sir Gabriel looked down, something moved behind him, quietly at first, then louder, and something dropped to the stone floor with a dull thud[Pg 37] and rolled up to his feet; he recoiled and saw a shriveled head lying almost face up on the pavement, grinning at him. He could feel cold sweat beading on his face, and his heart pounded painfully.
For the first time in all his life that evil thing which men call fear was getting hold of him, checking his heart-strings as a cruel driver checks a quivering horse, clawing at his backbone with icy hands, lifting his hair with freezing breath, climbing up and gathering in his midriff with leaden weight.
For the first time in his life, that awful thing called fear was gripping him, pulling at his heart like a harsh driver restrains a nervous horse, scratching at his spine with icy fingers, raising the hairs on his neck with a chilling breath, and settling in his gut like a heavy weight.
Yet presently he bit his lip and bent down, holding the candle in one hand, to lift the shroud back from the head of the corpse with the other. Slowly he lifted it. Then it clove to the half-dried skin of the face, and his hand shook as if some one had struck him on the elbow, but half in fear and half in anger at himself, he pulled it, so that it came away with a little ripping sound. He caught his breath as he held it, not yet throwing it back, and not yet looking. The horror was working in him, and he felt that old Vernon Ockram was standing up in his iron coffin, headless, yet watching him with the stump of his severed neck.
Yet right now he bit his lip and bent down, holding the candle in one hand to pull the shroud back from the head of the corpse with the other. Slowly he lifted it. Then it stuck to the half-dried skin of the face, and his hand shook as if someone had struck him on the elbow, but half in fear and half in anger at himself, he tugged at it until it came away with a little ripping sound. He caught his breath as he held it, not yet throwing it back, and not yet looking. The horror was building inside him, and he felt that old Vernon Ockram was standing up in his iron coffin, headless, yet watching him with the stump of his severed neck.
While he held his breath he felt the dead smile twisting his lips. In sudden wrath at his own misery, he tossed the death-stained linen backward,[Pg 38] and looked at last. He ground his teeth lest he should shriek aloud.
While he held his breath, he felt the lifeless smile twisting his lips. In a sudden rage at his own despair, he threw the bloodied linen behind him,[Pg 38] and finally looked. He ground his teeth to keep from screaming.
There it was, the thing that haunted him, that haunted Evelyn Warburton, that was like a blight on all that came near him.
There it was, the thing that haunted him, that haunted Evelyn Warburton, that was like a curse on everyone who got close to him.
The dead face was blotched with dark stains, and the thin, grey hair was matted about the discoloured forehead. The sunken lids were half open, and the candle light gleamed on something foul where the toad eyes had lived.
The dead face was marked with dark stains, and the thin, gray hair was tangled around the discolored forehead. The hollow eyelids were half open, and the candlelight shone on something disgusting where the toad-like eyes had been.
But yet the dead thing smiled, as it had smiled in life; the ghastly lips were parted and drawn wide and tight upon the wolfish teeth, cursing still, and still defying hell to do its worst—defying, cursing, and always and for ever smiling alone in the dark.
But still, the lifeless thing smiled, just like it did in life; the gruesome lips were stretched wide and tight over the sharp teeth, cursing still, and still challenging hell to do its worst—defying, cursing, and always, forever smiling alone in the dark.
Sir Gabriel opened the winding-sheet where the hands were, and the blackened, withered fingers were closed upon something stained and mottled. Shivering from head to foot, but fighting like a man in agony for his life, he tried to take the package from the dead man's hold. But as he pulled at it the claw-like fingers seemed to close more tightly, and when he pulled harder the shrunken hands and arms rose from the corpse with a horrible look of life following his motion—then as he wrenched the sealed packet loose at last, the hands fell back into their place still folded.
Sir Gabriel opened the winding sheet where the hands were, and the dark, shriveled fingers were clutching something stained and mottled. Shivering all over, but struggling like a man in agony for his life, he tried to take the package from the dead man's grip. But as he tugged at it, the claw-like fingers seemed to tighten their hold, and when he pulled harder, the shriveled hands and arms lifted from the corpse with a terrifying semblance of life following his movement—then as he finally managed to tear the sealed packet loose, the hands fell back into place, still folded.
He set down the candle on the edge of the bier to break the seals from the stout paper. And, kneeling on one knee, to get a better light, he read what was within, written long ago in Sir Hugh's queer hand.
He placed the candle on the edge of the bier to break the seals on the thick paper. Kneeling on one knee for better light, he read what was inside, written long ago in Sir Hugh's strange handwriting.
He was no longer afraid.
He wasn't afraid anymore.
He read how Sir Hugh had written it all down that it might perchance be a witness of evil and of his hatred; how he had loved Evelyn Warburton, his wife's sister; and how his wife had died of a broken heart with his curse upon her, and how Warburton and he had fought side by side in Afghanistan, and Warburton had fallen; but Ockram had brought his comrade's wife back a full year later, and little Evelyn, her child, had been born in Ockram Hall. And next, how he had wearied of the mother, and she had died like her sister with his curse on her. And then, how Evelyn had been brought up as his niece, and how he had trusted that his son Gabriel and his daughter, innocent and unknowing, might love and marry, and the souls of the women he had betrayed might suffer another anguish before eternity was out. And, last of all, he hoped that some day, when nothing could be undone, the two might find his writing and live on, not daring to tell the truth for their children's sake and the world's word, man and wife.
He read how Sir Hugh had written everything down so it could serve as a witness to his evil and hatred; how he had loved Evelyn Warburton, his wife's sister; and how his wife had died of a broken heart with his curse on her. He recalled how Warburton and he had fought together in Afghanistan, and Warburton had fallen; but Ockram had brought his comrade’s wife back a full year later, and little Evelyn, her child, had been born in Ockram Hall. Next, he read how he had grown tired of the mother, and she had died like her sister, with his curse on her. Then he saw how Evelyn had been raised as his niece, and how he had hoped that his son Gabriel and his daughter, innocent and unaware, might love and marry, while the souls of the women he had betrayed would endure more suffering before the end of time. Finally, he wished that someday, when nothing could be changed, the two might discover his writings and continue on, not daring to reveal the truth for the sake of their children and the opinions of the world, as husband and wife.
This he read, kneeling beside the corpse in the north vault, by the light of the altar candle; and when he had read it all, he thanked God aloud that he had found the secret in time. But when he rose to his feet and looked down at the dead face it was changed, and the smile was gone from it for ever, and the jaw had fallen a little, and the tired, dead lips were relaxed. And then there was a breath behind him and close to him, not cold like that which had blown the flame of the candle as he came, but warm and human. He turned suddenly.
This he read, kneeling beside the body in the north vault, by the light of the altar candle; and when he finished reading it, he thanked God out loud for finding the secret in time. But when he stood up and looked down at the lifeless face, it was different, and the smile was gone forever, the jaw had dropped a bit, and the tired, lifeless lips were loose. Then he felt a breath behind him, close to him, not cold like the breeze that had flickered the candle flame as he entered, but warm and human. He turned suddenly.
There she stood, all in white, with her shadowy golden hair—for she had risen from her bed and had followed him noiselessly, and had found him reading, and had herself read over his shoulder. He started violently when he saw her, for his nerves were unstrung—and then he cried out her name in the still place of death:
There she stood, all in white, with her flowing golden hair—for she had gotten out of bed and silently followed him, finding him reading, and she had leaned in to read over his shoulder. He jumped when he saw her, his nerves already on edge—and then he called out her name in that quiet, deathly atmosphere:
"Evelyn!"
"Evelyn!"
"My brother!" she answered softly and tenderly, putting out both hands to meet his.
"My brother!" she replied gently, extending both hands to meet his.
THE SCREAMING SKULL
THE SCREAMING SKULL
THE SCREAMING SKULL
I have often heard it scream. No, I am not nervous, I am not imaginative, and I never believed in ghosts, unless that thing is one. Whatever it is, it hates me almost as much as it hated Luke Pratt, and it screams at me.
I have often heard it scream. No, I’m not nervous, I’m not imaginative, and I never believed in ghosts, unless that thing is one. Whatever it is, it hates me almost as much as it hated Luke Pratt, and it screams at me.
If I were you, I would never tell ugly stories about ingenious ways of killing people, for you never can tell but that some one at the table may be tired of his or her nearest and dearest. I have always blamed myself for Mrs. Pratt's death, and I suppose I was responsible for it in a way, though heaven knows I never wished her anything but long life and happiness. If I had not told that story she might be alive yet. That is why the thing screams at me, I fancy.
If I were you, I would never share nasty stories about clever ways to kill people, because you never know if someone at the table might be fed up with their loved ones. I’ve always held myself accountable for Mrs. Pratt’s death, and I guess I was partly responsible, though God knows I only wanted her to have a long life and happiness. If I hadn’t told that story, she might still be alive. That’s why it haunts me, I think.
She was a good little woman, with a sweet temper, all things considered, and a nice gentle voice; but I remember hearing her shriek once when she thought her little boy was killed by a pistol that went off, though every one was sure that it was not loaded. It was the same scream; exactly the[Pg 44] same, with a sort of rising quaver at the end; do you know what I mean? Unmistakable.
She was a kind woman with a sweet disposition, all things considered, and a soft, gentle voice; but I remember hearing her scream once when she thought her little boy had been shot by a gun that went off, even though everyone was sure it wasn't loaded. It was the same scream; exactly the[Pg 44] same, with a sort of rising quaver at the end; do you know what I mean? Unmistakable.
The truth is, I had not realised that the doctor and his wife were not on good terms. They used to bicker a bit now and then when I was here, and I often noticed that little Mrs. Pratt got very red and bit her lip hard to keep her temper, while Luke grew pale and said the most offensive things. He was that sort when he was in the nursery, I remember, and afterward at school. He was my cousin, you know; that is how I came by this house; after he died, and his boy Charley was killed in South Africa, there were no relations left. Yes, it's a pretty little property, just the sort of thing for an old sailor like me who has taken to gardening.
The truth is, I hadn’t realized that the doctor and his wife weren’t getting along. They used to argue a bit now and then when I was around, and I often noticed that little Mrs. Pratt would get really red and bite her lip hard to keep her cool, while Luke grew pale and said the most hurtful things. He was that type when he was in the nursery, I remember, and later at school. He was my cousin, you know; that’s how I came to own this house. After he died and his son Charley was killed in South Africa, there were no relatives left. Yes, it’s a nice little property, just the kind of thing for an old sailor like me who has taken up gardening.
One always remembers one's mistakes much more vividly than one's cleverest things, doesn't one? I've often noticed it. I was dining with the Pratts one night, when I told them the story that afterwards made so much difference. It was a wet night in November, and the sea was moaning. Hush!—if you don't speak you will hear it now....
One always remembers their mistakes much more clearly than their smartest moments, right? I've noticed that a lot. I was having dinner with the Pratts one night when I shared a story that ended up being really significant. It was a rainy night in November, and the sea was rumbling. Quiet!—if you don't say anything, you can hear it now....
Do you hear the tide? Gloomy sound, isn't it? Sometimes, about this time of year—hallo!—there it is! Don't be frightened, man—it won't eat you—it's only a noise, after all! But I'm[Pg 45] glad you've heard it, because there are always people who think it's the wind, or my imagination, or something. You won't hear it again to-night, I fancy, for it doesn't often come more than once. Yes—that's right. Put another stick on the fire, and a little more stuff into that weak mixture you're so fond of. Do you remember old Blauklot the carpenter, on that German ship that picked us up when the Clontarf went to the bottom? We were hove to in a howling gale one night, as snug as you please, with no land within five hundred miles, and the ship coming up and falling off as regularly as clockwork—"Biddy te boor beebles ashore tis night, poys!" old Blauklot sang out, as he went off to his quarters with the sail-maker. I often think of that, now that I'm ashore for good and all.
Do you hear the tide? It's a gloomy sound, isn’t it? Sometimes, around this time of year—hello!—there it is! Don’t be scared, man—it won’t harm you—it’s just noise, after all! But I’m[Pg 45] glad you’ve heard it, because there are always people who think it’s the wind, or my imagination, or something like that. I doubt you’ll hear it again tonight; it doesn’t usually happen more than once. Yes—that's right. Add another log to the fire, and a little more of that weak drink you like so much. Do you remember old Blauklot the carpenter, from that German ship that picked us up when the Clontarf sank? We were hove to in a howling gale one night, as cozy as can be, with no land in sight for five hundred miles, and the ship rising and falling like clockwork—“Biddy te boor beebles ashore tis night, poys!” old Blauklot shouted as he headed off to his quarters with the sailmaker. I often think about that now that I’m ashore for good.
Yes, it was on a night like this, when I was at home for a spell, waiting to take the Olympia out on her first trip—it was on the next voyage that she broke the record, you remember—but that dates it. Ninety-two was the year, early in November.
Yes, it was on a night like this, when I was home for a bit, waiting to take the Olympia out on her first trip—it was on the next voyage that she broke the record, you remember—but that gives it away. Ninety-two was the year, early in November.
The weather was dirty, Pratt was out of temper, and the dinner was bad, very bad indeed, which didn't improve matters, and cold, which made it worse. The poor little lady was very unhappy about it, and insisted on making a Welsh rarebit[Pg 46] on the table to counteract the raw turnips and the half-boiled mutton. Pratt must have had a hard day. Perhaps he had lost a patient. At all events, he was in a nasty temper.
The weather was awful, Pratt was in a bad mood, and the dinner was terrible, really terrible, which didn’t help things, and cold, which made it worse. The poor lady was really upset about it and insisted on making a Welsh rarebit[Pg 46] to balance out the raw turnips and the undercooked mutton. Pratt must have had a tough day. Maybe he lost a patient. Either way, he was in a foul mood.
"My wife is trying to poison me, you see!" he said. "She'll succeed some day." I saw that she was hurt, and I made believe to laugh, and said that Mrs. Pratt was much too clever to get rid of her husband in such a simple way; and then I began to tell them about Japanese tricks with spun glass and chopped horsehair and the like.
"My wife is trying to poison me, you know!" he said. "She'll succeed eventually." I noticed that she was upset, so I pretended to laugh and said that Mrs. Pratt was way too smart to get rid of her husband in such a straightforward manner; then I started telling them about Japanese tricks involving spun glass and chopped horsehair and things like that.
Pratt was a doctor, and knew a lot more than I did about such things, but that only put me on my mettle, and I told a story about a woman in Ireland who did for three husbands before any one suspected foul play.
Pratt was a doctor and knew a lot more than I did about these things, but that just made me more determined, so I told a story about a woman in Ireland who killed three husbands before anyone suspected foul play.
Did you never hear that tale? The fourth husband managed to keep awake and caught her, and she was hanged. How did she do it? She drugged them, and poured melted lead into their ears through a little horn funnel when they were asleep.... No—that's the wind whistling. It's backing up to the southward again. I can tell by the sound. Besides, the other thing doesn't often come more than once in an evening even at this time of year—when it happened. Yes, it was in November. Poor Mrs. Pratt died suddenly in her bed not long after I dined here. I can fix the date,[Pg 47] because I got the news in New York by the steamer that followed the Olympia when I took her out on her first trip. You had the Leofric the same year? Yes, I remember. What a pair of old buffers we are coming to be, you and I. Nearly fifty years since we were apprentices together on the Clontarf. Shall you ever forget old Blauklot? "Biddy te boor beebles ashore, poys!" Ha, ha! Take a little more, with all that water. It's the old Hulstkamp I found in the cellar when this house came to me, the same I brought Luke from Amsterdam five-and-twenty years ago. He had never touched a drop of it. Perhaps he's sorry now, poor fellow.
Did you never hear that story? The fourth husband managed to stay awake and caught her, and she got hanged. How did she do it? She drugged them and poured melted lead into their ears through a little horn funnel while they were asleep... No—that's just the wind whistling. It's shifting back south again. I can tell by the sound. Plus, that other thing doesn’t usually happen more than once in an evening even at this time of year—when it happened. Yes, it was in November. Poor Mrs. Pratt died suddenly in her bed not long after I had dinner here. I can pinpoint the date,[Pg 47] because I got the news in New York by the steamer that followed the Olympia when I took her out on her first trip. You had the Leofric the same year? Yes, I remember. What a couple of old-timers we are becoming, you and I. It's been nearly fifty years since we were apprentices together on the Clontarf. Will you ever forget old Blauklot? "Biddy te boor beebles ashore, poys!" Ha, ha! Have a little more, with all that water. It's the old Hulstkamp I found in the cellar when this house came to me, the same one I brought Luke from Amsterdam twenty-five years ago. He had never touched a drop of it. Maybe he regrets it now, poor guy.
Where did I leave off? I told you that Mrs. Pratt died suddenly—yes. Luke must have been lonely here after she was dead, I should think; I came to see him now and then, and he looked worn and nervous, and told me that his practice was growing too heavy for him, though he wouldn't take an assistant on any account. Years went on, and his son was killed in South Africa, and after that he began to be queer. There was something about him not like other people. I believe he kept his senses in his profession to the end; there was no complaint of his having made bad mistakes in cases, or anything of that sort, but he had a look about him——
Where did I leave off? I mentioned that Mrs. Pratt passed away suddenly—yes. Luke must have felt really lonely here after her death, I imagine; I visited him now and then, and he seemed worn out and anxious. He told me that his workload was becoming too heavy for him, but he refused to hire an assistant no matter what. Years went by, and his son was killed in South Africa, and after that, he started to act strangely. There was something about him that seemed different from other people. I believe he kept his composure in his profession until the end; there were no complaints about him making serious mistakes in cases or anything like that, but he had a certain look about him——
Luke was a red-headed man with a pale face when he was young, and he was never stout; in middle age he turned a sandy grey, and after his son died he grew thinner and thinner, till his head looked like a skull with parchment stretched over it very tight, and his eyes had a sort of glare in them that was very disagreeable to look at.
Luke was a red-haired man with a pale face when he was young, and he was never heavyset; in middle age, his hair turned a sandy grey, and after his son died, he got thinner and thinner, until his head looked like a skull with tight parchment stretched over it, and his eyes had an unsettling glare that was hard to look at.
He had an old dog that poor Mrs. Pratt had been fond of, and that used to follow her everywhere. He was a bull-dog, and the sweetest tempered beast you ever saw, though he had a way of hitching his upper lip behind one of his fangs that frightened strangers a good deal. Sometimes, of an evening, Pratt and Bumble—that was the dog's name—used to sit and look at each other a long time, thinking about old times, I suppose, when Luke's wife used to sit in that chair you've got. That was always her place, and this was the doctor's, where I'm sitting. Bumble used to climb up by the footstool—he was old and fat by that time, and could not jump much, and his teeth were getting shaky. He would look steadily at Luke, and Luke looked steadily at the dog, his face growing more and more like a skull with two little coals for eyes; and after about five minutes or so, though it may have been less, old Bumble would suddenly begin to shake all over, and all on a sudden he would set up an awful howl, as if he had been shot, and tumble out of the easy-chair[Pg 49] and trot away, and hide himself under the sideboard, and lie there making odd noises.
He had an old dog that poor Mrs. Pratt really liked, and that used to follow her everywhere. He was a bulldog, and the sweetest dog you’d ever see, though he had a habit of pulling his upper lip back over one of his teeth that scared strangers quite a bit. Sometimes, in the evenings, Pratt and Bumble—that was the dog's name—would sit and look at each other for a long time, probably reminiscing about old times, when Luke's wife used to sit in that chair you've got. That was always her spot, and this was the doctor's, where I'm sitting now. Bumble would climb up by the footstool—he was old and fat by then and couldn’t jump much, plus his teeth were getting loose. He would stare at Luke, and Luke would stare back at the dog, his face becoming more and more like a skull with two little coals for eyes; and after about five minutes or so, though it might have been less, old Bumble would suddenly start shaking all over, then out of the blue, he’d let out a terrible howl, as if he had been shot, and tumble out of the easy chair[Pg 49] and trot away to hide under the sideboard, lying there making strange noises.
Considering Pratt's looks in those last months, the thing is not surprising, you know. I'm not nervous or imaginative, but I can quite believe he might have sent a sensitive woman into hysterics—his head looked so much like a skull in parchment.
Considering Pratt's appearance in those last months, it's not surprising, you know. I'm not nervous or overly imaginative, but I can totally believe he might have sent a sensitive woman into a panic—his head looked so much like a skull wrapped in parchment.
At last I came down one day before Christmas, when my ship was in dock and I had three weeks off. Bumble was not about, and I said casually that I supposed the old dog was dead.
At last, I came down one day before Christmas when my ship was docked, and I had three weeks off. Bumble wasn’t around, and I casually mentioned that I figured the old dog was dead.
"Yes," Pratt answered, and I thought there was something odd in his tone even before he went on after a little pause. "I killed him," he said presently. "I could not stand it any longer."
"Yes," Pratt replied, and I noticed something strange in his tone even before he continued after a brief pause. "I killed him," he said after a moment. "I couldn't take it anymore."
I asked what it was that Luke could not stand, though I guessed well enough.
I asked what it was that Luke couldn't stand, even though I had a pretty good idea.
"He had a way of sitting in her chair and glaring at me, and then howling." Luke shivered a little. "He didn't suffer at all, poor old Bumble," he went on in a hurry, as if he thought I might imagine he had been cruel. "I put dionine into his drink to make him sleep soundly, and then I chloroformed him gradually, so that he could not have felt suffocated even if he was dreaming. It's been quieter since then."
"He had a way of sitting in her chair and staring at me, and then howling." Luke shivered a bit. "He didn't suffer at all, poor old Bumble," he continued quickly, as if he thought I might think he had been cruel. "I added dionine to his drink to help him sleep soundly, and then I gradually chloroformed him, so he wouldn't have felt suffocated even if he was dreaming. It's been quieter since then."
I wondered what he meant, for the words slipped[Pg 50] out as if he could not help saying them. I've understood since. He meant that he did not hear that noise so often after the dog was out of the way. Perhaps he thought at first that it was old Bumble in the yard howling at the moon, though it's not that kind of noise, is it? Besides, I know what it is, if Luke didn't. It's only a noise, after all, and a noise never hurt anybody yet. But he was much more imaginative than I am. No doubt there really is something about this place that I don't understand; but when I don't understand a thing, I call it a phenomenon, and I don't take it for granted that it's going to kill me, as he did. I don't understand everything, by long odds, nor do you, nor does any man who has been to sea. We used to talk of tidal waves, for instance, and we could not account for them; now we account for them by calling them submarine earthquakes, and we branch off into fifty theories, any one of which might make earthquakes quite comprehensible if we only knew what they are. I fell in with one of them once, and the inkstand flew straight up from the table against the ceiling of my cabin. The same thing happened to Captain Lecky—I dare say you've read about it in his "Wrinkles." Very good. If that sort of thing took place ashore, in this room for instance, a nervous person would talk about spirits and [Pg 51]levitation and fifty things that mean nothing, instead of just quietly setting it down as a "phenomenon" that has not been explained yet. My view of that voice, you see.
I wondered what he meant, since the words came out of him as if he couldn't help but say them. I've understood since then. He was saying that he didn't hear that noise as often once the dog was gone. Maybe he thought at first it was old Bumble in the yard howling at the moon, but it’s not that kind of noise, right? Besides, I know what it is, even if Luke didn't. It's just a noise, after all, and a noise has never hurt anyone. But he was much more imaginative than I am. No doubt there’s really something about this place that I don’t get; but when I don't understand something, I just call it a phenomenon and don't assume it’s going to harm me like he did. I don't understand everything by a long shot, nor do you, nor does any man who's been at sea. We used to talk about tidal waves, for example, and we couldn’t explain them; now we explain them by calling them submarine earthquakes, and we come up with fifty theories, any one of which might make earthquakes understandable if we only knew what they are. I encountered one of them once, and the inkstand shot straight up from the table to the ceiling of my cabin. The same thing happened to Captain Lecky—I bet you've read about it in his "Wrinkles." Very interesting. If that kind of thing happened on land, in this room for instance, a nervous person would jump to talking about spirits and levitation and a hundred things that don’t mean anything, instead of just calmly labeling it a "phenomenon" that hasn’t been explained yet. That’s my take on that voice, you see.
Besides, what is there to prove that Luke killed his wife? I would not even suggest such a thing to any one but you. After all, there was nothing but the coincidence that poor little Mrs. Pratt died suddenly in her bed a few days after I told that story at dinner. She was not the only woman who ever died like that. Luke got the doctor over from the next parish, and they agreed that she had died of something the matter with her heart. Why not? It's common enough.
Besides, what’s there to prove that Luke killed his wife? I wouldn’t even suggest such a thing to anyone but you. After all, it was just a coincidence that poor Mrs. Pratt passed away suddenly in her bed a few days after I shared that story at dinner. She wasn’t the only woman to die like that. Luke called the doctor from the next parish, and they agreed that she died from something related to her heart. Why not? It happens often enough.
Of course, there was the ladle. I never told anybody about that, and it made me start when I found it in the cupboard in the bedroom. It was new, too—a little tinned iron ladle that had not been in the fire more than once or twice, and there was some lead in it that had been melted, and stuck to the bottom of the bowl, all grey, with hardened dross on it. But that proves nothing. A country doctor is generally a handy man, who does everything for himself, and Luke may have had a dozen reasons for melting a little lead in a ladle. He was fond of sea-fishing, for instance, and he may have cast a sinker for a night-line; perhaps it was a weight for the hall clock, or [Pg 52]something like that. All the same, when I found it I had a rather queer sensation, because it looked so much like the thing I had described when I told them the story. Do you understand? It affected me unpleasantly, and I threw it away; it's at the bottom of the sea a mile from the Spit, and it will be jolly well rusted beyond recognising if it's ever washed up by the tide.
Of course, there was the ladle. I never told anyone about that, and I was startled when I found it in the cupboard in the bedroom. It was new, too—a small tin ladle that hadn't been in the fire more than once or twice, and there was some lead in it that had melted and stuck to the bottom of the bowl, all grey, with hardened dross on it. But that means nothing. A country doctor is usually a handy guy who does everything for himself, and Luke could have had a dozen reasons for melting a bit of lead in a ladle. For example, he liked sea fishing, so he might have cast a sinker for a night line; maybe it was a weight for the hall clock, or [Pg 52] something like that. Still, when I found it, I felt a weird sensation because it looked so much like what I had described when I told them the story. Do you get what I mean? It made me feel uneasy, so I threw it away; it's at the bottom of the sea a mile from the Spit, and it'll be well rusted beyond recognition if it ever washes up with the tide.
You see, Luke must have bought it in the village, years ago, for the man sells just such ladles still. I suppose they are used in cooking. In any case, there was no reason why an inquisitive housemaid should find such a thing lying about, with lead in it, and wonder what it was, and perhaps talk to the maid who heard me tell the story at dinner—for that girl married the plumber's son in the village, and may remember the whole thing.
You see, Luke must have bought it in the village years ago, because the guy still sells those kinds of ladles. I guess they’re used for cooking. Anyway, there’s no reason why a curious housemaid would find something like that lying around, with lead in it, and wonder what it was, and maybe even talk to the maid who heard me tell the story at dinner—since that girl ended up marrying the plumber's son in the village, and she might remember the whole thing.
You understand me, don't you? Now that Luke Pratt is dead and gone, and lies buried beside his wife, with an honest man's tombstone at his head, I should not care to stir up anything that could hurt his memory. They are both dead, and their son, too. There was trouble enough about Luke's death, as it was.
You get what I'm saying, right? Now that Luke Pratt is gone and buried next to his wife, with a straightforward tombstone marking his grave, I don't want to bring up anything that might tarnish his memory. They’re both gone, and so is their son. There was already plenty of drama surrounding Luke's death.
How? He was found dead on the beach one morning, and there was a coroner's inquest. There were marks on his throat, but he had not been robbed. The verdict was that he had come to his[Pg 53] end "by the hands or teeth of some person or animal unknown," for half the jury thought it might have been a big dog that had thrown him down and gripped his windpipe, though the skin of his throat was not broken. No one knew at what time he had gone out, nor where he had been. He was found lying on his back above high-water mark, and an old cardboard bandbox that had belonged to his wife lay under his hand, open. The lid had fallen off. He seemed to have been carrying home a skull in the box—doctors are fond of collecting such things. It had rolled out and lay near his head, and it was a remarkably fine skull, rather small, beautifully shaped and very white, with perfect teeth. That is to say, the upper jaw was perfect, but there was no lower one at all, when I first saw it.
How? He was found dead on the beach one morning, and there was a coroner's investigation. There were marks on his throat, but he hadn't been robbed. The verdict was that he had come to his[Pg 53] end "by the hands or teeth of some person or animal unknown," because half the jury thought it might have been a big dog that had knocked him down and gripped his windpipe, though the skin on his throat wasn't broken. No one knew what time he had gone out or where he had been. He was found lying on his back above the high-water mark, and an old cardboard bandbox that had belonged to his wife was under his hand, open. The lid had fallen off. It looked like he had been carrying home a skull in the box—doctors like to collect things like that. It had rolled out and lay near his head, and it was an incredibly fine skull, rather small, beautifully shaped, and very white, with perfect teeth. That is to say, the upper jaw was perfect, but there was no lower jaw at all when I first saw it.
Yes, I found it here when I came. You see, it was very white and polished, like a thing meant to be kept under a glass case, and the people did not know where it came from, nor what to do with it; so they put it back into the bandbox and set it on the shelf of the cupboard in the best bedroom, and of course they showed it to me when I took possession. I was taken down to the beach, too, to be shown the place where Luke was found, and the old fisherman explained just how he was lying, and the skull beside him. The only point he could not[Pg 54] explain was why the skull had rolled up the sloping sand toward Luke's head instead of rolling downhill to his feet. It did not seem odd to me at the time, but I have often thought of it since, for the place is rather steep. I'll take you there to-morrow if you like—I made a sort of cairn of stones there afterward.
Yes, I found it here when I arrived. You see, it was very white and polished, like something meant to be kept under glass, and the people didn’t know where it came from or what to do with it; so they put it back in the bandbox and placed it on the shelf in the best bedroom cupboard, and of course, they showed it to me when I moved in. I was also taken to the beach to see the spot where Luke was found, and the old fisherman explained exactly how he was lying, with the skull next to him. The only thing he couldn’t explain was why the skull rolled up the sloping sand toward Luke’s head instead of rolling downhill to his feet. It didn’t seem strange to me at the time, but I’ve thought about it a lot since, because the place is quite steep. I can take you there tomorrow if you want—I made a kind of pile of stones there afterward.
When he fell down, or was thrown down—whichever happened—the bandbox struck the sand, and the lid came off, and the thing came out and ought to have rolled down. But it didn't. It was close to his head, almost touching it, and turned with the face toward it. I say it didn't strike me as odd when the man told me; but I could not help thinking about it afterward, again and again, till I saw a picture of it all when I closed my eyes; and then I began to ask myself why the plaguey thing had rolled up instead of down, and why it had stopped near Luke's head instead of anywhere else, a yard away, for instance.
When he fell or was thrown—whichever it was—the bandbox hit the sand, the lid popped off, and the thing came out and should have rolled down. But it didn’t. It was close to his head, almost touching it, and turned to face him. I didn’t find it strange when the man told me; but I couldn’t stop thinking about it afterward, over and over, until I could see a picture of it all when I closed my eyes. Then I started to wonder why that damn thing rolled up instead of down, and why it stopped near Luke’s head instead of anywhere else, like a yard away, for example.
You naturally want to know what conclusion I reached, don't you? None that at all explained the rolling, at all events. But I got something else into my head, after a time, that made me feel downright uncomfortable.
You want to know what conclusion I came to, right? None of it explained the rolling, anyway. But eventually, I got another idea stuck in my head that made me feel really uneasy.
Oh, I don't mean as to anything supernatural! There may be ghosts, or there may not be. If[Pg 55] there are, I'm not inclined to believe that they can hurt living people except by frightening them, and, for my part, I would rather face any shape of ghost than a fog in the Channel when it's crowded. No. What bothered me was just a foolish idea, that's all, and I cannot tell how it began, nor what made it grow till it turned into a certainty.
Oh, I’m not talking about anything supernatural! There might be ghosts, or there might not be. If[Pg 55] there are, I don’t think they can harm living people except by scaring them, and honestly, I’d rather deal with any kind of ghost than a fog in the Channel when it’s busy. No. What troubled me was just a silly thought, that’s all, and I can’t say how it started or what made it grow into something I was sure about.
I was thinking about Luke and his poor wife one evening over my pipe and a dull book, when it occurred to me that the skull might possibly be hers, and I have never got rid of the thought since. You'll tell me there's no sense in it, no doubt; that Mrs. Pratt was buried like a Christian and is lying in the churchyard where they put her, and that it's perfectly monstrous to suppose her husband kept her skull in her old bandbox in his bedroom. All the same, in the face of reason, and common sense, and probability, I'm convinced that he did. Doctors do all sorts of queer things that would make men like you and me feel creepy, and those are just the things that don't seem probable, nor logical, nor sensible to us.
I was thinking about Luke and his poor wife one evening while I was relaxing with my pipe and a boring book when it struck me that the skull might actually be hers, and I haven't been able to shake that thought since. You might say there’s no logic in it, of course; that Mrs. Pratt was buried properly and is resting in the churchyard where she was laid to rest, and that it’s completely absurd to think her husband kept her skull in her old hatbox in their bedroom. Still, despite what makes sense and the odds, I’m convinced that he did. Doctors do all sorts of strange things that would freak people like you and me out, and those are exactly the things that don’t seem likely, reasonable, or sensible to us.
Then, don't you see?—if it really was her skull, poor woman, the only way of accounting for his having it is that he really killed her, and did it in that way, as the woman killed her husbands in the story, and that he was afraid there might be an examination some day which would[Pg 56] betray him. You see, I told that too, and I believe it had really happened some fifty or sixty years ago. They dug up the three skulls, you know, and there was a small lump of lead rattling about in each one. That was what hanged the woman. Luke remembered that, I'm sure. I don't want to know what he did when he thought of it; my taste never ran in the direction of horrors, and I don't fancy you care for them either, do you? No. If you did, you might supply what is wanting to the story.
Then, don’t you see?—if that really was her skull, poor woman, the only way to explain how he got it is that he actually killed her, and did it like the woman in the story who killed her husbands, and he was worried there might be an investigation someday that would[Pg 56] expose him. You see, I mentioned that too, and I believe it actually happened about fifty or sixty years ago. They found the three skulls, you know, and there was a small piece of lead rattling around in each one. That’s what led to the woman’s execution. Luke remembered that, I’m sure. I don’t want to know what he did when he thought of it; I’ve never been into horrors, and I don’t think you are either, right? No. If you were, you might fill in what’s missing from the story.
It must have been rather grim, eh? I wish I did not see the whole thing so distinctly, just as everything must have happened. He took it the night before she was buried, I'm sure, after the coffin had been shut, and when the servant girl was asleep. I would bet anything, that when he'd got it, he put something under the sheet in its place, to fill up and look like it. What do you suppose he put there, under the sheet?
It must have been pretty bleak, right? I wish I didn't remember everything so clearly, like it all happened just yesterday. He took it the night before she was buried, I’m sure, after the coffin was closed, and when the maid was asleep. I’d wager anything that when he got it, he put something under the sheet to make it look full and like it was still there. What do you think he put there, under the sheet?
I don't wonder you take me up on what I'm saying! First I tell you that I don't want to know what happened, and that I hate to think about horrors, and then I describe the whole thing to you as if I had seen it. I'm quite sure that it was her work-bag that he put there. I remember the bag very well, for she always used it of an evening; it was made of brown plush, and when[Pg 57] it was stuffed full it was about the size of—you understand. Yes, there I am, at it again! You may laugh at me, but you don't live here alone, where it was done, and you didn't tell Luke the story about the melted lead. I'm not nervous, I tell you, but sometimes I begin to feel that I understand why some people are. I dwell on all this when I'm alone, and I dream of it, and when that thing screams—well, frankly, I don't like the noise any more than you do, though I should be used to it by this time.
I’m not surprised you’re interested in what I’m saying! First, I say I don’t want to know what happened and that I hate thinking about terrible things, and then I describe the whole situation to you as if I witnessed it myself. I’m pretty sure it was her work bag he put there. I remember the bag clearly because she always used it in the evenings; it was made of brown plush, and when[Pg 57] it was stuffed full, it was about the size of—you get what I mean. Yes, there I go again! You can laugh at me, but you don’t live here alone, where it all took place, and you didn’t tell Luke the story about the melted lead. I'm not nervous, I promise, but sometimes I start to get why some people are. I think about all this when I’m alone, and I dream about it, and when that thing screams—well, to be honest, I don’t like the noise any more than you do, even though I should be used to it by now.
I ought not to be nervous. I've sailed in a haunted ship. There was a Man in the Top, and two-thirds of the crew died of the West Coast fever inside of ten days after we anchored; but I was all right, then and afterward. I have seen some ugly sights, too, just as you have, and all the rest of us. But nothing ever stuck in my head in the way this does.
I shouldn't be nervous. I've been on a haunted ship. There was a guy in the crow's nest, and two-thirds of the crew died from West Coast fever within ten days after we dropped anchor; but I was fine, then and afterward. I've witnessed some terrible things, just like you and everyone else. But nothing has ever stuck in my mind like this does.
You see, I've tried to get rid of the thing, but it doesn't like that. It wants to be there in its place, in Mrs. Pratt's bandbox in the cupboard in the best bedroom. It's not happy anywhere else. How do I know that? Because I've tried it. You don't suppose that I've not tried, do you? As long as it's there it only screams now and then, generally at this time of year, but if I put it out of the house it goes on all night, and no servant will stay[Pg 58] here twenty-four hours. As it is, I've often been left alone and have been obliged to shift for myself for a fortnight at a time. No one from the village would ever pass a night under the roof now, and as for selling the place, or even letting it, that's out of the question. The old women say that if I stay here I shall come to a bad end myself before long.
You see, I've tried to get rid of it, but it doesn’t want to leave. It insists on being in its spot, in Mrs. Pratt's bandbox in the cupboard of the best bedroom. It’s not content anywhere else. How do I know this? Because I’ve made the attempt. You don't think I haven’t tried, do you? As long as it’s there, it only screams occasionally, usually around this time of year, but if I move it out of the house, it screams all night, and no servant will stick around[Pg 58] here for even a day. As it is, I've often been left alone and had to manage by myself for two weeks at a time. No one from the village would ever spend a night under this roof now, and selling the place, or even renting it out, is completely out of the question. The old women say that if I stay here, I’ll meet a bad end myself before long.
I'm not afraid of that. You smile at the mere idea that any one could take such nonsense seriously. Quite right. It's utterly blatant nonsense, I agree with you. Didn't I tell you that it's only a noise after all when you started and looked round as if you expected to see a ghost standing behind your chair?
I'm not afraid of that. You laugh at the idea that anyone could take such nonsense seriously. You're right. It's completely obvious nonsense, I agree with you. Didn't I tell you that it's just noise after all when you turned and looked around as if you expected to see a ghost behind your chair?
I may be all wrong about the skull, and I like to think that I am—when I can. It may be just a fine specimen which Luke got somewhere long ago, and what rattles about inside when you shake it may be nothing but a pebble, or a bit of hard clay, or anything. Skulls that have lain long in the ground generally have something inside them that rattles, don't they? No, I've never tried to get it out, whatever it is; I'm afraid it might be lead, don't you see? And if it is, I don't want to know the fact, for I'd much rather not be sure. If it really is lead, I killed her quite as much as if I had done the deed[Pg 59] myself. Anybody must see that, I should think. As long as I don't know for certain, I have the consolation of saying that it's all utterly ridiculous nonsense, that Mrs. Pratt died a natural death and that the beautiful skull belonged to Luke when he was a student in London. But if I were quite sure, I believe I should have to leave the house; indeed I do, most certainly. As it is, I had to give up trying to sleep in the best bedroom where the cupboard is.
I could be completely wrong about the skull, and I like to think that I am—when I can. It might just be a nice specimen that Luke picked up somewhere ages ago, and what rattles around inside when you shake it could be nothing but a pebble, a piece of hard clay, or anything really. Skulls that have been in the ground for a long time usually have something inside them that rattles, right? No, I’ve never tried to get it out, whatever it is; I’m worried it might be lead, you see? And if it is, I’d rather not know for sure because I’d much rather keep it uncertain. If it really is lead, I’m just as much responsible for her death as if I had committed the act[Pg 59] myself. Anyone can see that, I think. As long as I don’t know for sure, I can comfort myself by saying it’s all just ridiculous nonsense, that Mrs. Pratt died of natural causes and that the lovely skull belonged to Luke when he was a student in London. But if I were absolutely sure, I believe I’d have to leave the house; in fact, I definitely would. As it stands, I had to stop trying to sleep in the best bedroom where the cupboard is.
You ask me why I don't throw it into the pond—yes, but please don't call it a "confounded bugbear"—it doesn't like being called names.
You’re wondering why I don’t just throw it in the pond—sure, but please don’t call it a “confounded bugbear”—it doesn’t like being insulted.
There! Lord, what a shriek! I told you so! You're quite pale, man. Fill up your pipe and draw your chair nearer to the fire, and take some more drink. Old Hollands never hurt anybody yet. I've seen a Dutchman in Java drink half a jug of Hulstkamp in a morning without turning a hair. I don't take much rum myself, because it doesn't agree with my rheumatism, but you are not rheumatic and it won't damage you. Besides, it's a very damp night outside. The wind is howling again, and it will soon be in the southwest; do you hear how the windows rattle? The tide must have turned too, by the moaning.
There! Wow, what a scream! I told you so! You look pretty pale, man. Fill your pipe and pull your chair closer to the fire, and have another drink. Old Hollands has never hurt anyone. I've seen a Dutchman in Java drink half a jug of Hulstkamp in the morning without flinching. I don’t drink much rum myself since it doesn’t sit well with my rheumatism, but you don’t have that issue, and it won’t hurt you. Plus, it’s a really damp night outside. The wind is howling again, and it’s going to shift to the southwest soon; do you hear how the windows are shaking? The tide must have changed too, judging by the moaning.
We should not have heard the thing again if you had not said that. I'm pretty sure we should not.[Pg 60] Oh yes, if you choose to describe it as a coincidence, you are quite welcome, but I would rather that you should not call the thing names again, if you don't mind. It may be that the poor little woman hears, and perhaps it hurts her, don't you know? Ghost? No! You don't call anything a ghost that you can take in your hands and look at in broad daylight, and that rattles when you shake it. Do you, now? But it's something that hears and understands; there's no doubt about that.
We wouldn't have heard about it again if you hadn't said that. I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have.[Pg 60] Oh sure, if you want to call it a coincidence, go ahead, but I'd prefer if you didn't label it again, if that's okay with you. It might be that the poor woman hears, and maybe it hurts her, you know? Ghost? No way! You don't call something a ghost when you can hold it in your hands and see it in broad daylight, and it makes noise when you shake it. Do you? But it's definitely something that hears and understands; there's no doubt about that.
I tried sleeping in the best bedroom when I first came to the house, just because it was the best and the most comfortable, but I had to give it up. It was their room, and there's the big bed she died in, and the cupboard is in the thickness of the wall, near the head, on the left. That's where it likes to be kept, in its bandbox. I only used the room for a fortnight after I came, and then I turned out and took the little room downstairs, next to the surgery, where Luke used to sleep when he expected to be called to a patient during the night.
I tried sleeping in the best bedroom when I first arrived at the house, just because it was the nicest and most comfortable, but I had to let it go. It was their room, and there's the big bed she died in, and the cupboard is built into the wall, near the head, on the left. That's where it likes to be kept, in its box. I only used the room for two weeks after I got here, and then I moved out and took the small room downstairs, next to the surgery, where Luke used to sleep when he thought he might get called to a patient during the night.
I was always a good sleeper ashore; eight hours is my dose, eleven to seven when I'm alone, twelve to eight when I have a friend with me. But I could not sleep after three o'clock in the morning in that room—a quarter past, to be accurate[Pg 61]—as a matter of fact, I timed it with my old pocket chronometer, which still keeps good time, and it was always at exactly seventeen minutes past three. I wonder whether that was the hour when she died?
I’ve always been a good sleeper when I'm on land; I need about eight hours—usually from eleven to seven when I'm on my own, or twelve to eight when I have a friend over. But once the clock struck three in the morning in that room—precisely a quarter past, to be exact[Pg 61]—I couldn’t fall asleep. I checked with my old pocket watch, which still works well, and it was always exactly seventeen minutes past three. I can't help but wonder if that was when she passed away?
It was not what you have heard. If it had been that I could not have stood it two nights. It was just a start and a moan and hard breathing for a few seconds in the cupboard, and it could never have waked me under ordinary circumstances, I'm sure. I suppose you are like me in that, and we are just like other people who have been to sea. No natural sounds disturb us at all, not all the racket of a square-rigger hove to in a heavy gale, or rolling on her beam ends before the wind. But if a lead pencil gets adrift and rattles in the drawer of your cabin table you are awake in a moment. Just so—you always understand. Very well, the noise in the cupboard was no louder than that, but it waked me instantly.
It wasn’t what you’ve heard. If it had been, I couldn’t have handled it for two nights. It was just a start, a moan, and heavy breathing for a few seconds in the cupboard, and there’s no way it would have woken me under normal circumstances, I’m sure. I guess you’re like me in that way, and we’re just like everyone else who has been at sea. No natural sounds bother us at all—not even the chaos of a square-rigger caught in a heavy storm or rolling on its side with the wind. But if a lead pencil gets loose and rattles in the drawer of your cabin table, you’re awake in an instant. Just like that—you always get it. So, the noise in the cupboard was no louder than that, but it woke me up right away.
I said it was like a "start." I know what I mean, but it's hard to explain without seeming to talk nonsense. Of course you cannot exactly "hear" a person "start"; at the most, you might hear the quick drawing of the breath between the parted lips and closed teeth, and the almost imperceptible sound of clothing that moved suddenly though very slightly. It was like that.
I said it felt like a "beginning." I know what I mean, but it's tough to explain without sounding like I'm rambling. Of course, you can't really "hear" someone "begin"; at best, you might catch the quick intake of breath between their slightly opened lips and clenched teeth, and the barely noticeable sound of fabric shifting a little. It was like that.
You know how one feels what a sailing vessel is going to do, two or three seconds before she does it, when one has the wheel. Riders say the same of a horse, but that's less strange, because the horse is a live animal with feelings of its own, and only poets and landsmen talk about a ship being alive, and all that. But I have always felt somehow that besides being a steaming machine or a sailing machine for carrying weights, a vessel at sea is a sensitive instrument, and a means of communication between nature and man, and most particularly the man at the wheel, if she is steered by hand. She takes her impressions directly from wind and sea, tide and stream, and transmits them to the man's hand, just as the wireless telegraph picks up the interrupted currents aloft and turns them out below in the form of a message.
You know how you can sense what a sailing boat is about to do a couple of seconds before it happens when you're at the wheel? Riders say the same thing about horses, but that's less surprising since a horse is a living creature with its own feelings, while only poets and landlubbers talk about a ship being alive and all that. But I’ve always felt that beyond just being a machine for transporting loads, a vessel at sea is a sensitive tool that connects nature and humans, especially the person at the wheel if they're steering by hand. It directly picks up the sensations from the wind and sea, the tides and currents, and relays them to the person’s hand, much like a wireless telegraph catches interrupted signals in the air and translates them into messages below.
You see what I am driving at; I felt that something started in the cupboard, and I felt it so vividly that I heard it, though there may have been nothing to hear, and the sound inside my head waked me suddenly. But I really heard the other noise. It was as if it were muffled inside a box, as far away as if it came through a long-distance telephone; and yet I knew that it was inside the cupboard near the head of my bed. My hair did not bristle and my blood did not run cold that time. I simply resented being waked up by [Pg 63]something that had no business to make a noise, any more than a pencil should rattle in the drawer of my cabin table on board ship. For I did not understand; I just supposed that the cupboard had some communication with the outside air, and that the wind had got in and was moaning through it with a sort of very faint screech. I struck a light and looked at my watch, and it was seventeen minutes past three. Then I turned over and went to sleep on my right ear. That's my good one; I'm pretty deaf with the other, for I struck the water with it when I was a lad in diving from the foretopsail yard. Silly thing to do, it was, but the result is very convenient when I want to go to sleep when there's a noise.
You see what I'm getting at; I felt something starting in the cupboard, and I felt it so intensely that I heard it, even though there might not have been anything to hear, and the sound in my head jolted me awake. But I really did hear the other noise. It was like it was muffled inside a box, as if it were coming through a long-distance call; yet I knew it was coming from the cupboard near the head of my bed. My hair didn't stand on end and my heart didn't race this time. I just felt annoyed at being woken up by something that had no right making a noise, just like a pencil shouldn't rattle in the drawer of my cabin table on the ship. I didn't get it; I just assumed that the cupboard had some connection to the outside, and that the wind had slipped in and was moaning through it with a sort of very faint screech. I flicked on a light and looked at my watch, and it was seventeen minutes past three. Then I flipped over and went to sleep on my right side. That's my good ear; I'm pretty deaf in the other one because I hit the water with it when I was a kid diving from the foretopsail yard. It was a stupid thing to do, but it’s pretty handy when I want to fall asleep with noise around.
That was the first night, and the same thing happened again and several times afterward, but not regularly, though it was always at the same time, to a second; perhaps I was sometimes sleeping on my good ear, and sometimes not. I overhauled the cupboard and there was no way by which the wind could get in, or anything else, for the door makes a good fit, having been meant to keep out moths, I suppose; Mrs. Pratt must have kept her winter things in it, for it still smells of camphor and turpentine.
That was the first night, and the same thing happened again several times afterward, but not consistently, though it was always at the same exact time; maybe I was sometimes sleeping on my better ear and sometimes not. I checked the cupboard, and there was no way for the wind to get in or anything else, since the door seals well, probably meant to keep out moths. Mrs. Pratt must have stored her winter clothes in there, because it still smells like camphor and turpentine.
After about a fortnight I had had enough of the noises. So far I had said to myself that it would[Pg 64] be silly to yield to it and take the skull out of the room. Things always look differently by daylight, don't they? But the voice grew louder—I suppose one may call it a voice—and it got inside my deaf ear, too, one night. I realised that when I was wide awake, for my good ear was jammed down on the pillow, and I ought not to have heard a fog-horn in that position. But I heard that, and it made me lose my temper, unless it scared me, for sometimes the two are not far apart. I struck a light and got up, and I opened the cupboard, grabbed the bandbox and threw it out of the window, as far as I could.
After about two weeks, I had enough of the noises. Until then, I kept telling myself that it would[Pg 64] be ridiculous to give in and remove the skull from the room. Things always look different in the daylight, right? But the voice got louder—I guess you could call it a voice—and it reached my deaf ear one night, too. I realized that when I was fully awake, because my good ear was pressed against the pillow, and I shouldn’t have heard a foghorn in that position. But I did hear it, and it either made me lose my temper or scared me, since sometimes those two feelings are pretty close together. I lit a match and got up, opened the cupboard, grabbed the bandbox, and threw it out the window as far as I could.
Then my hair stood on end. The thing screamed in the air, like a shell from a twelve-inch gun. It fell on the other side of the road. The night was very dark, and I could not see it fall, but I know it fell beyond the road. The window is just over the front door, it's fifteen yards to the fence, more or less, and the road is ten yards wide. There's a quickset hedge beyond, along the glebe that belongs to the vicarage.
Then my hair stood on end. The thing screamed through the air, like a shell from a twelve-inch gun. It landed on the other side of the road. The night was very dark, and I couldn't see it fall, but I know it landed beyond the road. The window is just above the front door; it's about fifteen yards to the fence, and the road is ten yards wide. There's a quickset hedge beyond that, along the plot that belongs to the vicarage.
I did not sleep much more that night. It was not more than half an hour after I had thrown the bandbox out when I heard a shriek outside—like what we've had to-night, but worse, more despairing, I should call it; and it may have been my imagination, but I could have sworn that the[Pg 65] screams came nearer and nearer each time. I lit a pipe, and walked up and down for a bit, and then took a book and sat up reading, but I'll be hanged if I can remember what I read nor even what the book was, for every now and then a shriek came up that would have made a dead man turn in his coffin.
I hardly slept that night. It was only about half an hour after I threw the bandbox out when I heard a scream outside—similar to what we experienced tonight, but worse, more desperate, I would say; and maybe it was just my imagination, but I could have sworn that the[Pg 65] screams got closer each time. I lit a pipe and paced for a while, then grabbed a book and sat down to read, but I’m not kidding when I say I can’t remember what I read or even what the book was, because every now and then a scream would pierce through that could have startled a dead man.
A little before dawn some one knocked at the front door. There was no mistaking that for anything else, and I opened my window and looked down, for I guessed that some one wanted the doctor, supposing that the new man had taken Luke's house. It was rather a relief to hear a human knock after that awful noise.
A little before dawn, someone knocked at the front door. There was no mistaking it for anything else, so I opened my window and looked down, thinking that someone needed the doctor, assuming that the new guy had moved into Luke's house. It was somewhat of a relief to hear a human knock after that terrible noise.
You cannot see the door from above, owing to the little porch. The knocking came again, and I called out, asking who was there, but nobody answered, though the knock was repeated. I sang out again, and said that the doctor did not live here any longer. There was no answer, but it occurred to me that it might be some old countryman who was stone deaf. So I took my candle and went down to open the door. Upon my word, I was not thinking of the thing yet, and I had almost forgotten the other noises. I went down convinced that I should find somebody outside, on the doorstep, with a message. I set the candle on the hall table, so that the wind should not blow it[Pg 66] out when I opened. While I was drawing the old-fashioned bolt I heard the knocking again. It was not loud, and it had a queer, hollow sound, now that I was close to it, I remember, but I certainly thought it was made by some person who wanted to get in.
You can't see the door from up top because of the little porch. The knocking came again, and I shouted out, asking who was there, but nobody answered, even though the knock was repeated. I called out again, mentioning that the doctor didn’t live here anymore. There was no response, but it occurred to me that it might be some old country guy who was completely deaf. So I grabbed my candle and went down to open the door. Honestly, I wasn't thinking about the other thing yet, and I had almost forgotten the other noises. I went down fully expecting to find someone outside, on the doorstep, with a message. I placed the candle on the hall table, so the wind wouldn't blow it[Pg 66] out when I opened the door. While I was pulling back the old-style bolt, I heard the knock again. It wasn’t loud and had a strange, hollow sound now that I was close to it, but I definitely thought it was made by someone wanting to get in.
It wasn't. There was nobody there, but as I opened the door inward, standing a little on one side, so as to see out at once, something rolled across the threshold and stopped against my foot.
It wasn't. There was no one there, but as I opened the door inward, standing slightly to the side to see outside right away, something rolled across the threshold and stopped against my foot.
I drew back as I felt it, for I knew what it was before I looked down. I cannot tell you how I knew, and it seemed unreasonable, for I am still quite sure that I had thrown it across the road. It's a French window, that opens wide, and I got a good swing when I flung it out. Besides, when I went out early in the morning, I found the bandbox beyond the thickset hedge.
I pulled back when I felt it, because I knew what it was before I looked down. I can't explain how I knew, and it seemed crazy, because I'm still pretty sure I had tossed it across the road. It's a French window that opens wide, and I really threw it out there with some force. Plus, when I went out early in the morning, I found the bandbox just beyond the dense hedge.
You may think it opened when I threw it, and that the skull dropped out; but that's impossible, for nobody could throw an empty cardboard box so far. It's out of the question; you might as well try to fling a ball of paper twenty-five yards, or a blown bird's egg.
You might think it opened when I threw it, and that the skull fell out; but that's impossible because no one could throw an empty cardboard box that far. It's out of the question; you might as well try to toss a piece of paper twenty-five yards, or a blown bird's egg.
To go back, I shut and bolted the hall door, picked the thing up carefully, and put it on the table beside the candle. I did that mechanically, as one instinctively does the right thing in danger[Pg 67] without thinking at all—unless one does the opposite. It may seem odd, but I believe my first thought had been that somebody might come and find me there on the threshold while it was resting against my foot, lying a little on its side, and turning one hollow eye up at my face, as if it meant to accuse me. And the light and shadow from the candle played in the hollows of the eyes as it stood on the table, so that they seemed to open and shut at me. Then the candle went out quite unexpectedly, though the door was fastened and there was not the least draught; and I used up at least half a dozen matches before it would burn again.
To go back, I shut and locked the hall door, picked the thing up carefully, and placed it on the table next to the candle. I did this automatically, as one instinctively does the right thing when in danger[Pg 67] without thinking—unless one does the opposite. It may seem strange, but I believe my first thought was that someone might come and find me there on the threshold while it lay against my foot, resting a bit on its side, and turning one hollow eye up at my face, as if it intended to accuse me. And the light and shadow from the candle danced in the hollows of the eyes as it sat on the table, making them seem to open and close at me. Then the candle went out unexpectedly, even though the door was locked and there was absolutely no draft; and I used at least six matches before it would light again.
I sat down rather suddenly, without quite knowing why. Probably I had been badly frightened, and perhaps you will admit there was no great shame in being scared. The thing had come home, and it wanted to go upstairs, back to its cupboard. I sat still and stared at it for a bit, till I began to feel very cold; then I took it and carried it up and set it in its place, and I remember that I spoke to it, and promised that it should have its bandbox again in the morning.
I sat down pretty suddenly, not really sure why. Maybe I had just been really scared, and you might agree there’s no big shame in being frightened. The thing had returned, and it wanted to go upstairs, back to its cupboard. I sat there staring at it for a while until I started to feel really cold; then I picked it up and carried it upstairs and put it in its place. I remember talking to it and promising that it would get its bandbox back in the morning.
You want to know whether I stayed in the room till daybreak? Yes, but I kept a light burning, and sat up smoking and reading, most likely out of fright; plain, undeniable fear, and[Pg 68] you need not call it cowardice either, for that's not the same thing. I could not have stayed alone with that thing in the cupboard; I should have been scared to death, though I'm not more timid than other people. Confound it all, man, it had crossed the road alone, and had got up the doorstep and had knocked to be let in.
You want to know if I stayed in the room until dawn? Yes, but I kept a light on, and I sat up smoking and reading, probably out of fear; plain, undeniable fear, and[Pg 68] you shouldn't call it cowardice either, because that's not the same thing. I couldn't have stayed alone with that thing in the cupboard; I would have been terrified, though I'm not more scared than anyone else. Honestly, man, it had crossed the road by itself, made it up the steps, and knocked to be let in.
When the dawn came, I put on my boots and went out to find the bandbox. I had to go a good way round, by the gate near the highroad, and I found the box open and hanging on the other side of the hedge. It had caught on the twigs by the string, and the lid had fallen off and was lying on the ground below it. That shows that it did not open till it was well over; and if it had not opened as soon as it left my hand, what was inside it must have gone beyond the road too.
When dawn arrived, I slipped on my boots and stepped outside to look for the bandbox. I had to take a longer route, going through the gate by the highway, and I discovered the box open and hanging on the other side of the hedge. It had gotten caught on some twigs by the string, and the lid had fallen off and was lying on the ground below. This shows that it didn’t open until it was well past the hedge; if it hadn’t opened right after I let go, whatever was inside must have gone past the road too.
That's all. I took the box upstairs to the cupboard, and put the skull back and locked it up. When the girl brought me my breakfast she said she was sorry, but that she must go, and she did not care if she lost her month's wages. I looked at her, and her face was a sort of greenish, yellowish white. I pretended to be surprised, and asked what was the matter; but that was of no use, for she just turned on me and wanted to know whether I meant to stay in[Pg 69] a haunted house, and how long I expected to live if I did, for though she noticed I was sometimes a little hard of hearing, she did not believe that even I could sleep through those screams again—and if I could, why had I been moving about the house and opening and shutting the front door, between three and four in the morning? There was no answering that, since she had heard me, so off she went, and I was left to myself. I went down to the village during the morning and found a woman who was willing to come and do the little work there is and cook my dinner, on condition that she might go home every night. As for me, I moved downstairs that day, and I have never tried to sleep in the best bedroom since. After a little while I got a brace of middle-aged Scotch servants from London, and things were quiet enough for a long time. I began by telling them that the house was in a very exposed position, and that the wind whistled round it a good deal in the autumn and winter, which had given it a bad name in the village, the Cornish people being inclined to superstition and telling ghost stories. The two hard-faced, sandy-haired sisters almost smiled, and they answered with great contempt that they had no great opinion of any Southern bogey whatever, having been in service in two English haunted[Pg 70] houses, where they had never seen so much as the Boy in Gray, whom they reckoned no very particular rarity in Forfarshire.
That's all. I took the box upstairs to the cupboard, put the skull back, and locked it up. When the girl brought me my breakfast, she said she was sorry, but she had to leave and didn’t care if she lost her month's wages. I looked at her, and her face was a sort of greenish, yellowish white. I pretended to be surprised and asked what was wrong; but that was pointless, as she just confronted me and asked if I planned to stay in[Pg 69] a haunted house, and how long I thought I would live if I did, since although she noticed I was occasionally a little hard of hearing, she didn’t believe even I could sleep through those screams again—and if I could, why had I been moving around the house and opening and closing the front door between three and four in the morning? There was no way to respond to that, since she had heard me, so off she went, leaving me alone. I went down to the village that morning and found a woman willing to come and do the little chores there are and cook my dinner, on the condition that she could go home every night. As for me, I moved downstairs that day, and I have never tried to sleep in the best bedroom since. After a little while, I got a pair of middle-aged Scottish servants from London, and things were calm enough for a long time. I started by telling them that the house was in a very exposed spot, and that the wind howled around it a lot in the autumn and winter, which had given it a bad reputation in the village, the Cornish people being superstitious and sharing ghost stories. The two hard-faced, sandy-haired sisters almost smiled and replied with great disdain that they didn’t think much of any Southern ghost stories, having worked in two English haunted[Pg 70] houses, where they had never seen anything as notable as the Boy in Gray, whom they considered no big deal in Forfarshire.
They stayed with me several months, and while they were in the house we had peace and quiet. One of them is here again now, but she went away with her sister within the year. This one—she was the cook—married the sexton, who works in my garden. That's the way of it. It's a small village and he has not much to do, and he knows enough about flowers to help me nicely, besides doing most of the hard work; for though I'm fond of exercise, I'm getting a little stiff in the hinges. He's a sober, silent sort of fellow, who minds his own business, and he was a widower when I came here—Trehearn is his name, James Trehearn. The Scotch sisters would not admit that there was anything wrong about the house, but when November came they gave me warning that they were going, on the ground that the chapel was such a long walk from here, being in the next parish, and that they could not possibly go to our church. But the younger one came back in the spring, and as soon as the banns could be published she was married to James Trehearn by the vicar, and she seems to have had no scruples about hearing him preach since then. I'm quite satisfied, if she is! The[Pg 71] couple live in a small cottage that looks over the churchyard.
They stayed with me for several months, and while they were here, we had peace and quiet. One of them is back now, but she left with her sister within the year. This one—she was the cook—married the groundskeeper, who works in my garden. That’s how it goes. It’s a small village, and he doesn’t have much to do, but he knows enough about flowers to help me out nicely while doing most of the heavy lifting; even though I enjoy exercising, I’m getting a bit stiff. He’s a quiet, serious guy who keeps to himself, and he was a widower when I arrived here—his name is Trehearn, James Trehearn. The Scottish sisters wouldn’t admit there was anything wrong with the house, but when November came, they gave me notice that they were leaving, claiming that the chapel was too far away since it’s in the next parish, and they couldn’t possibly go to our church. But the younger one came back in the spring, and as soon as the banns could be published, she married James Trehearn by the vicar, and she doesn’t seem to have a problem with hearing him preach since then. I’m quite satisfied if she is! The[Pg 71] couple live in a small cottage that overlooks the churchyard.
I suppose you are wondering what all this has to do with what I was talking about. I'm alone so much that when an old friend comes to see me, I sometimes go on talking just for the sake of hearing my own voice. But in this case there is really a connection of ideas. It was James Trehearn who buried poor Mrs. Pratt, and her husband after her in the same grave, and it's not far from the back of his cottage. That's the connection in my mind, you see. It's plain enough. He knows something; I'm quite sure that he does, by his manner, though he's such a reticent beggar.
I guess you’re wondering how all this ties into what I was talking about. I'm alone so often that when an old friend visits, I sometimes find myself talking just to hear my own voice. But in this case, there’s actually a link between the ideas. It was James Trehearn who buried poor Mrs. Pratt, and then her husband in the same grave, which is not far from the back of his cottage. That’s the connection in my mind, you see. It’s pretty clear. He knows something; I’m sure of it, just from his demeanor, even though he’s such a reserved guy.
Yes, I'm alone in the house at night now, for Mrs. Trehearn does everything herself, and when I have a friend the sexton's niece comes in to wait on the table. He takes his wife home every evening in winter, but in summer, when there's light, she goes by herself. She's not a nervous woman, but she's less sure than she used to be that there are no bogies in England worth a Scotchwoman's notice. Isn't it amusing, the idea that Scotland has a monopoly of the supernatural? Odd sort of national pride, I call that, don't you?
Yes, I'm alone in the house at night now, since Mrs. Trehearn does everything herself. When I have a friend over, the sexton's niece comes in to help serve the table. He takes his wife home every evening in the winter, but in the summer, when it's still light out, she goes home by herself. She's not a nervous woman, but she's less confident than she used to be that there are any ghosts in England worth a Scottish woman’s attention. Isn’t it funny, the idea that Scotland has a monopoly on the supernatural? I think that’s a strange kind of national pride, don’t you?
That's a good fire, isn't it? When driftwood[Pg 72] gets started at last there's nothing like it, I think. Yes, we get lots of it, for I'm sorry to say there are still a great many wrecks about here. It's a lonely coast, and you may have all the wood you want for the trouble of bringing it in. Trehearn and I borrow a cart now and then, and load it between here and the Spit. I hate a coal fire when I can get wood of any sort. A log is company, even if it's only a piece of a deck-beam or timber sawn off, and the salt in it makes pretty sparks. See how they fly, like Japanese hand-fireworks! Upon my word, with an old friend and a good fire and a pipe, one forgets all about that thing upstairs, especially now that the wind has moderated. It's only a lull, though, and it will blow a gale before morning.
That's a good fire, isn't it? When driftwood[Pg 72] finally gets going, there's nothing like it, in my opinion. Yes, we have plenty of it, as sadly, there are still quite a few shipwrecks around here. It's a deserted coast, and you can have all the wood you want if you put in the effort to collect it. Trehearn and I occasionally borrow a cart and load it up between here and the Spit. I can't stand a coal fire when I can get wood of any kind. A log feels like company, even if it’s just a piece of a deck beam or a cut-off timber, and the salt in it makes beautiful sparks. Look at how they fly, like Japanese fireworks! Honestly, with an old friend, a good fire, and a pipe, you forget all about that thing upstairs, especially now that the wind has calmed down a bit. But it's just a lull; it’ll be blowing hard again before morning.
You think you would like to see the skull? I've no objection. There's no reason why you shouldn't have a look at it, and you never saw a more perfect one in your life, except that there are two front teeth missing in the lower jaw.
You think you want to see the skull? I have no problem with that. There’s no reason you shouldn’t take a look at it, and you’ve never seen a more perfect one in your life, except for the two front teeth missing in the lower jaw.
Oh yes—I had not told you about the jaw yet. Trehearn found it in the garden last spring when he was digging a pit for a new asparagus bed. You know we make asparagus beds six or eight feet deep here. Yes, yes—I had forgotten to tell you that. He was digging straight down, just as he digs a grave; if you want a[Pg 73] good asparagus bed made, I advise you to get a sexton to make it for you. Those fellows have a wonderful knack at that sort of digging.
Oh yes—I hadn’t mentioned the jaw yet. Trehearn found it in the garden last spring while he was digging a pit for a new asparagus bed. You know we make asparagus beds six or eight feet deep around here. Yes, yes—I had forgotten to tell you that. He was digging straight down, just like he digs a grave; if you want a[Pg 73] good asparagus bed made, I recommend hiring a sexton to do it for you. Those guys are really skilled at that kind of digging.
Trehearn had got down about three feet when he cut into a mass of white lime in the side of the trench. He had noticed that the earth was a little looser there, though he says it had not been disturbed for a number of years. I suppose he thought that even old lime might not be good for asparagus, so he broke it out and threw it up. It was pretty hard, he says, in biggish lumps, and out of sheer force of habit he cracked the lumps with his spade as they lay outside the pit beside him; the jawbone of a skull dropped out of one of the pieces. He thinks he must have knocked out the two front teeth in breaking up the lime, but he did not see them anywhere. He's a very experienced man in such things, as you may imagine, and he said at once that the jaw had probably belonged to a young woman, and that the teeth had been complete when she died. He brought it to me, and asked me if I wanted to keep it; if I did not, he said he would drop it into the next grave he made in the churchyard, as he supposed it was a Christian jaw, and ought to have decent burial, wherever the rest of the body might be. I told him that doctors often put bones into quicklime[Pg 74] to whiten them nicely, and that I supposed Dr. Pratt had once had a little lime pit in the garden for that purpose, and had forgotten the jaw. Trehearn looked at me quietly.
Trehearn had dug down about three feet when he hit a lump of white lime in the side of the trench. He noticed the soil felt a bit looser there, even though he mentioned it hadn’t been disturbed for many years. I guess he thought that even old lime might not be good for asparagus, so he broke it up and tossed it aside. It was pretty hard, he said, in fairly large chunks, and out of habit, he cracked the chunks with his spade as they lay next to the pit. A jawbone fell out of one of the pieces. He thinks he must have knocked out the two front teeth while breaking up the lime, but he didn’t see them anywhere. He’s very experienced in these matters, as you might expect, and he immediately said that the jaw probably belonged to a young woman and that the teeth had been intact when she died. He brought it to me and asked if I wanted to keep it; if not, he said he would toss it into the next grave he dug in the churchyard, assuming it was a Christian jaw and deserved a proper burial, wherever the rest of the body might be. I told him that doctors often put bones in quicklime[Pg 74] to whiten them nicely, and that I guessed Dr. Pratt had once had a small lime pit in the garden for that purpose and had forgotten about the jaw. Trehearn looked at me calmly.
"Maybe it fitted that skull that used to be in the cupboard upstairs, sir," he said. "Maybe Dr. Pratt had put the skull into the lime to clean it, or something, and when he took it out he left the lower jaw behind. There's some human hair sticking in the lime, sir."
"Maybe it matches the skull that used to be in the cupboard upstairs, sir," he said. "Maybe Dr. Pratt put the skull in the lime to clean it or something, and when he took it out, he left the lower jaw behind. There's some human hair stuck in the lime, sir."
I saw there was, and that was what Trehearn said. If he did not suspect something, why in the world should he have suggested that the jaw might fit the skull? Besides, it did. That's proof that he knows more than he cares to tell. Do you suppose he looked before she was buried? Or perhaps—when he buried Luke in the same grave——
I saw there was, and that’s exactly what Trehearn said. If he wasn’t suspicious about something, why on earth would he have suggested that the jaw could fit the skull? Besides, it did. That’s proof he knows more than he’s letting on. Do you think he checked before she was buried? Or maybe—when he buried Luke in the same grave—
Well, well, it's of no use to go over that, is it? I said I would keep the jaw with the skull, and I took it upstairs and fitted it into its place. There's not the slightest doubt about the two belonging together, and together they are.
Well, well, there's no point in going over that, is there? I said I would keep the jaw with the skull, and I took it upstairs and put it in its spot. There's no doubt that they belong together, and they are together.
Trehearn knows several things. We were talking about plastering the kitchen a while ago, and he happened to remember that it had not been done since the very week when Mrs. Pratt died. He did not say that the mason must have left[Pg 75] some lime on the place, but he thought it, and that it was the very same lime he had found in the asparagus pit. He knows a lot. Trehearn is one of your silent beggars who can put two and two together. That grave is very near the back of his cottage, too, and he's one of the quickest men with a spade I ever saw. If he wanted to know the truth, he could, and no one else would ever be the wiser unless he chose to tell. In a quiet village like ours, people don't go and spend the night in the churchyard to see whether the sexton potters about by himself between ten o'clock and daylight.
Trehearn knows a lot of things. We were chatting about renovating the kitchen a while back, and he happened to remember that it hadn’t been done since the week Mrs. Pratt passed away. He didn’t say the mason must have left[Pg 75] some lime around, but he thought it, and that it was the same lime he found in the asparagus pit. He’s quite knowledgeable. Trehearn is one of those quiet guys who can connect the dots. That grave is very close to the back of his cottage, too, and he’s one of the quickest men with a spade I’ve ever seen. If he wanted to find out the truth, he could, and no one else would ever know unless he decided to share. In a small village like ours, people don’t spend the night in the churchyard to see if the sexton is there alone between ten o’clock and dawn.
What is awful to think of, is Luke's deliberation, if he did it; his cool certainty that no one would find him out; above all, his nerve, for that must have been extraordinary. I sometimes think it's bad enough to live in the place where it was done, if it really was done. I always put in the condition, you see, for the sake of his memory, and a little bit for my own sake, too.
What’s really horrible to consider is Luke’s thinking, if he did it; his calm confidence that no one would discover the truth; and especially his bravery, which must have been incredible. Sometimes I believe it’s tough enough to live in the place where it happened, if it really did happen. I always add that condition, you see, for his memory’s sake, and a little for my own peace of mind, too.
I'll go upstairs and fetch the box in a minute. Let me light my pipe; there's no hurry! We had supper early, and it's only half-past nine o'clock. I never let a friend go to bed before twelve, or with less than three glasses—you may have as many more as you like, but you shan't have less, for the sake of old times.
I'll head upstairs and grab the box in a minute. Let me light my pipe; there’s no rush! We ate dinner early, and it’s only 9:30. I never let a friend go to bed before midnight or with fewer than three drinks—you can have as many more as you want, but you won't have less, for old times' sake.
It's breezing up again, do you hear? That was only a lull just now, and we are going to have a bad night.
It's picking up again, did you hear? That was just a brief calm, and we're in for a rough night.
A thing happened that made me start a little when I found that the jaw fitted exactly. I'm not very easily startled in that way myself, but I have seen people make a quick movement, drawing their breath sharply, when they had thought they were alone and suddenly turned and saw some one very near them. Nobody can call that fear. You wouldn't, would you? No. Well, just when I had set the jaw in its place under the skull, the teeth closed sharply on my finger. It felt exactly as if it were biting me hard, and I confess that I jumped before I realised that I had been pressing the jaw and the skull together with my other hand. I assure you I was not at all nervous. It was broad daylight, too, and a fine day, and the sun was streaming into the best bedroom. It would have been absurd to be nervous, and it was only a quick mistaken impression, but it really made me feel queer. Somehow it made me think of the funny verdict of the coroner's jury on Luke's death, "by the hand or teeth of some person or animal unknown." Ever since that I've wished I had seen those marks on his throat, though the lower jaw was missing then.
Something happened that made me jump a bit when I realized the jaw fit perfectly. I’m not usually easy to startle, but I've seen people suddenly flinch and catch their breath when they thought they were alone and then noticed someone nearby. No one would call that fear. You wouldn’t, right? No. Anyway, just when I had positioned the jaw under the skull, the teeth snapped down hard on my finger. It felt like it was really biting me, and I admit I jumped before I realized I was pushing the jaw and skull together with my other hand. I promise I wasn't nervous at all. It was broad daylight, a nice day, and the sun was shining into the best bedroom. It would have been silly to feel nervous, and it was just a brief, mistaken impression, but it definitely made me feel odd. For some reason, it reminded me of the bizarre verdict from the coroner’s jury on Luke’s death: "by the hand or teeth of some person or animal unknown." Ever since then, I’ve regretted not seeing those marks on his throat, even though the lower jaw was missing then.
I have often seen a man do insane things with his hands that he does not realise at all. I once saw a man hanging on by an old awning stop with one hand, leaning backward, outboard, with all his weight on it, and he was just cutting the stop with the knife in his other hand when I got my arms round him. We were in mid-ocean, going twenty knots. He had not the smallest idea what he was doing; neither had I when I managed to pinch my finger between the teeth of that thing. I can feel it now. It was exactly as if it were alive and were trying to bite me. It would if it could, for I know it hates me, poor thing! Do you suppose that what rattles about inside is really a bit of lead? Well, I'll get the box down presently, and if whatever it is happens to drop out into your hands that's your affair. If it's only a clod of earth or a pebble, the whole matter would be off my mind, and I don't believe I should ever think of the skull again; but somehow I cannot bring myself to shake out the bit of hard stuff myself. The mere idea that it may be lead makes me confoundedly uncomfortable, yet I've got the conviction that I shall know before long. I shall certainly know. I'm sure Trehearn knows, but he's such a silent beggar.
I’ve often watched a guy do crazy things with his hands without realizing it at all. One time, I saw a guy hanging onto an old awning stop with one hand, leaning backward, completely off-balance, with all his weight on it. He was just cutting the stop with a knife in his other hand when I managed to grab hold of him. We were out in the middle of the ocean, going twenty knots. He had no clue what he was doing; neither did I when I accidentally pinched my finger in that thing’s teeth. I can still feel it now. It felt as if it were alive and trying to bite me. It would if it could, because I know it hates me, the poor thing! Do you think what rattles around inside is really a piece of lead? Well, I’ll get the box down in a bit, and if whatever it is happens to drop into your hands, that’s on you. If it’s just a chunk of dirt or a pebble, then I’d forget about the whole thing, and I doubt I’d ever think about the skull again. But for some reason, I can’t bring myself to shake out that hard stuff myself. Just the thought that it might be lead makes me really uneasy, but I’m convinced that I’ll find out soon enough. I definitely will know. I'm sure Trehearn knows, but he’s such a quiet guy.
I'll go upstairs now and get it. What? You had better go with me? Ha, ha! do you think I'm afraid of a bandbox and a noise? Nonsense!
I'll head upstairs now and grab it. What? You think I should go with you? Ha, do you really think I'm scared of a little box and some noise? That's ridiculous!
Bother the candle, it won't light! As if the ridiculous thing understood what it's wanted for! Look at that—the third match. They light fast enough for my pipe. There, do you see? It's a fresh box, just out of the tin safe where I keep the supply on account of the dampness. Oh, you think the wick of the candle may be damp, do you? All right, I'll light the beastly thing in the fire. That won't go out, at all events. Yes, it sputters a bit, but it will keep lighted now. It burns just like any other candle, doesn't it? The fact is, candles are not very good about here. I don't know where they come from, but they have a way of burning low occasionally, with a greenish flame that spits tiny sparks, and I'm often annoyed by their going out of themselves. It cannot be helped, for it will be long before we have electricity in our village. It really is rather a poor light, isn't it?
Bother this candle, it won't light! As if the silly thing knows what I need it for! Look at that—the third match. They light quickly enough for my pipe. See? It's a fresh box, just out of the tin safe where I store them because of the dampness. Oh, you think the candlewick might be damp, huh? Fine, I'll light the darn thing in the fire. That definitely won't go out. Yes, it sputters a bit, but it'll stay lit now. It burns just like any other candle, doesn't it? The truth is, candles aren't very good around here. I don't know where they come from, but they tend to burn low sometimes, with a greenish flame that spits tiny sparks, and I'm often bothered when they go out on their own. There's nothing we can do about it; it'll be a while before we get electricity in our village. It really is quite a poor light, isn't it?
You think I had better leave you the candle and take the lamp, do you? I don't like to carry lamps about, that's the truth. I never dropped one in my life, but I have always thought I might, and it's so confoundedly dangerous if you do. Besides, I am pretty well used to these rotten candles by this time.
You think I should leave you the candle and take the lamp, right? Honestly, I don't like carrying lamps around. I’ve never dropped one, but I always worry I might, and it's incredibly dangerous if you do. Plus, I've gotten pretty used to these awful candles by now.
You may as well finish that glass while I'm getting it, for I don't mean to let you off with[Pg 79] less than three before you go to bed. You won't have to go upstairs, either, for I've put you in the old study next to the surgery—that's where I live myself. The fact is, I never ask a friend to sleep upstairs now. The last man who did was Crackenthorpe, and he said he was kept awake all night. You remember old Crack, don't you? He stuck to the Service, and they've just made him an admiral. Yes, I'm off now—unless the candle goes out. I couldn't help asking if you remembered Crackenthorpe. If any one had told us that the skinny little idiot he used to be was to turn out the most successful of the lot of us, we should have laughed at the idea, shouldn't we? You and I did not do badly, it's true—but I'm really going now. I don't mean to let you think that I've been putting it off by talking! As if there were anything to be afraid of! If I were scared, I should tell you so quite frankly, and get you to go upstairs with me.
You might as well finish that drink while I get it, because I won’t let you go to bed with less than three drinks. You won’t have to go upstairs, either, since I’ve put you in the old study next to the surgery—that’s where I live myself. Honestly, I never ask a friend to sleep upstairs anymore. The last guy who did was Crackenthorpe, and he said he was kept awake all night. You remember old Crack, right? He stayed in the Service, and they just made him an admiral. Yeah, I’m off now—unless the candle goes out. I couldn’t help asking if you remembered Crackenthorpe. If anyone had told us that the skinny little idiot he used to be would turn out to be the most successful of all of us, we would’ve laughed at the thought, wouldn’t we? You and I did okay, it’s true—but I’m really going now. I don’t want you to think I’ve been stalling by talking! As if there were anything to be scared of! If I were scared, I’d tell you so directly and ask you to come upstairs with me.
* * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
Here's the box. I brought it down very carefully, so as not to disturb it, poor thing. You see, if it were shaken, the jaw might get separated from it again, and I'm sure it wouldn't like that. Yes, the candle went out as I was coming [Pg 80]downstairs, but that was the draught from the leaky window on the landing. Did you hear anything? Yes, there was another scream. Am I pale, do you say? That's nothing. My heart is a little queer sometimes, and I went upstairs too fast. In fact, that's one reason why I really prefer to live altogether on the ground floor.
Here's the box. I brought it down very carefully so I wouldn't disturb it, poor thing. You see, if it gets shaken, the jaw might come loose again, and I'm sure it wouldn't like that. Yeah, the candle went out while I was coming [Pg 80]downstairs, but that was just the draft from the leaky window on the landing. Did you hear anything? Yeah, there was another scream. Am I pale, you ask? That's nothing. My heart acts up a bit sometimes, and I went upstairs too quickly. Actually, that’s one reason I really prefer living entirely on the ground floor.
Wherever that shriek came from, it was not from the skull, for I had the box in my hand when I heard the noise, and here it is now; so we have proved definitely that the screams are produced by something else. I've no doubt I shall find out some day what makes them. Some crevice in the wall, of course, or a crack in a chimney, or a chink in the frame of a window. That's the way all ghost stories end in real life. Do you know, I'm jolly glad I thought of going up and bringing it down for you to see, for that last shriek settles the question. To think that I should have been so weak as to fancy that the poor skull could really cry out like a living thing!
Wherever that scream came from, it wasn’t from the skull, because I had the box in my hand when I heard the noise, and here it is now; so we’ve definitely proven that the screams are caused by something else. I’m sure I’ll figure out one day what makes them. Some crack in the wall, probably, or a gap in the chimney, or a notch in the window frame. That’s how all ghost stories end up in real life. You know, I’m really glad I thought to go up and bring it down for you to see, because that last scream settles the matter. Can you believe I was so foolish to think that the poor skull could actually cry out like it was alive!
Now I'll open the box, and we'll take it out and look at it under the bright light. It's rather awful to think that the poor lady used to sit there, in your chair, evening after evening, in just the same light, isn't it? But then—I've made up my mind that it's all rubbish from beginning[Pg 81] to end, and that it's just an old skull that Luke had when he was a student; and perhaps he put it into the lime merely to whiten it, and could not find the jaw.
Now I'll open the box, and we’ll take it out and look at it under the bright light. It’s pretty awful to think that poor lady used to sit there, in your chair, night after night, in the same light, isn’t it? But then—I’ve decided it’s all nonsense from start to finish, and that it’s just an old skull that Luke had when he was a student; and maybe he put it in the lime just to bleach it, and couldn’t find the jaw.
I made a seal on the string, you see, after I had put the jaw in its place, and I wrote on the cover. There's the old white label on it still, from the milliner's, addressed to Mrs. Pratt when the hat was sent to her, and as there was room I wrote on the edge: "A skull, once the property of the late Luke Pratt, M.D." I don't quite know why I wrote that, unless it was with the idea of explaining how the thing happened to be in my possession. I cannot help wondering sometimes what sort of hat it was that came in the bandbox. What colour was it, do you think? Was it a gay spring hat with a bobbing feather and pretty ribands? Strange that the very same box should hold the head that wore the finery—perhaps. No—we made up our minds that it just came from the hospital in London where Luke did his time. It's far better to look at it in that light, isn't it? There's no more connection between that skull and poor Mrs. Pratt than there was between my story about the lead and——
I sealed the string, see, after I put the jaw in place, and I wrote on the cover. The old white label is still on it from the milliner, addressed to Mrs. Pratt when the hat was sent to her, and since there was space, I wrote on the edge: "A skull, once owned by the late Luke Pratt, M.D." I'm not sure why I wrote that, maybe to explain how I ended up with it. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder what kind of hat was in the bandbox. What color do you think it was? Was it a bright spring hat with a feather and pretty ribbons? It’s strange that the very same box holds the head that wore the fancy stuff—maybe. No—we decided it just came from the hospital in London where Luke worked. It’s much better to think of it that way, right? There’s no real connection between that skull and poor Mrs. Pratt, just like there wasn’t between my story about the lead and——
Good Lord! Take the lamp—don't let it go out, if you can help it—I'll have the window[Pg 82] fastened again in a second—I say, what a gale! There, it's out! I told you so! Never mind, there's the firelight—I've got the window shut—the bolt was only half down. Was the box blown off the table? Where the deuce is it? There! That won't open again, for I've put up the bar. Good dodge, an old-fashioned bar—there's nothing like it. Now, you find the bandbox while I light the lamp. Confound those wretched matches! Yes, a pipe spill is better—it must light in the fire—I hadn't thought of it—thank you—there we are again. Now, where's the box? Yes, put it back on the table, and we'll open it.
Good Lord! Grab the lamp—don’t let it go out, if you can help it—I’ll have the window[Pg 82] secured again in a second—Wow, what a wind! There, it’s out! I told you so! No worries, we’ve got the firelight—I’ve shut the window—the bolt was only halfway down. Did the box fall off the table? Where the heck is it? There! That won’t open again, since I’ve put up the bar. Good move, an old-fashioned bar—there’s nothing like it. Now, you look for the bandbox while I light the lamp. Damn those awful matches! Yeah, a pipe spill is better—it should light in the fire—I hadn’t thought of it—thanks—there we go again. Now, where’s the box? Yes, put it back on the table, and we’ll open it.
That's the first time I have ever known the wind to burst that window open; but it was partly carelessness on my part when I last shut it. Yes, of course I heard the scream. It seemed to go all round the house before it broke in at the window. That proves that it's always been the wind and nothing else, doesn't it? When it was not the wind, it was my imagination. I've always been a very imaginative man: I must have been, though I did not know it. As we grow older we understand ourselves better, don't you know?
That's the first time I've ever seen the wind blow that window open; but I was partially careless when I last closed it. Yes, of course, I heard the scream. It seemed to echo around the house before it came in through the window. That shows it's always been the wind and nothing else, right? When it wasn't the wind, it was my imagination. I've always been a very imaginative person; I must have been, even if I didn't realize it. As we get older, we understand ourselves better, don’t you think?
I'll have a drop of the Hulstkamp neat, by way of an exception, since you are filling up[Pg 83] your glass. That damp gust chilled me, and with my rheumatic tendency I'm very much afraid of a chill, for the cold sometimes seems to stick in my joints all winter when it once gets in.
I'll have a shot of the Hulstkamp straight, just this once, since you're pouring yourself another glass. That cold breeze gave me a chill, and with my tendency toward arthritis, I'm really worried about getting cold, because once that chill gets into my joints, it seems to stick around all winter.
By George, that's good stuff! I'll just light a fresh pipe, now that everything is snug again, and then we'll open the box. I'm so glad we heard that last scream together, with the skull here on the table between us, for a thing cannot possibly be in two places at the same time, and the noise most certainly came from outside, as any noise the wind makes must. You thought you heard it scream through the room after the window was burst open? Oh yes, so did I, but that was natural enough when everything was open. Of course we heard the wind. What could one expect?
By George, that's good stuff! I'll just light up a fresh pipe now that everything is comfortable again, and then we'll open the box. I'm really glad we heard that last scream together, with the skull here on the table between us, because something can't possibly be in two places at once, and the noise definitely came from outside, just like any noise the wind makes. You thought you heard it scream through the room after the window burst open? Oh yes, I did too, but that was pretty normal once everything was open. Of course we heard the wind. What else could we expect?
Look here, please. I want you to see that the seal is intact before we open the box together. Will you take my glasses? No, you have your own. All right. The seal is sound, you see, and you can read the words of the motto easily. "Sweet and low"—that's it—because the poem goes on "Wind of the Western sea," and says, "blow him again to me," and all that. Here is the seal on my watch-chain, where it's hung for more than forty years. My poor little wife[Pg 84] gave it to me when I was courting, and I never had any other. It was just like her to think of those words—she was always fond of Tennyson.
Look, please. I want you to see that the seal is intact before we open the box together. Will you take my glasses? No, you have your own. All right. The seal is good, you see, and you can easily read the words of the motto. "Sweet and low"—that's it—because the poem continues with "Wind of the Western sea," and says, "blow him again to me," and so on. Here’s the seal on my watch chain, where it's been for more than forty years. My poor little wife[Pg 84] gave it to me when I was courting her, and I've never had any other. It was just like her to think of those words—she was always a fan of Tennyson.
It's of no use to cut the string, for it's fastened to the box, so I'll just break the wax and untie the knot, and afterward we'll seal it up again. You see, I like to feel that the thing is safe in its place, and that nobody can take it out. Not that I should suspect Trehearn of meddling with it, but I always feel that he knows a lot more than he tells.
It's pointless to cut the string since it's attached to the box, so I'll just break the wax and untie the knot, and then we'll seal it back up again. You see, I like knowing that the item is secure in its spot, and that nobody can take it out. Not that I would suspect Trehearn of messing with it, but I always get the sense that he knows a lot more than he lets on.
You see, I've managed it without breaking the string, though when I fastened it I never expected to open the bandbox again. The lid comes off easily enough. There! Now look!
You see, I’ve done it without breaking the string, even though when I tied it, I never thought I’d open the bandbox again. The lid comes off pretty easily. There! Now check it out!
What? Nothing in it? Empty? It's gone, man, the skull is gone!
What? Nothing in it? Empty? It's gone, man, the skull is missing!
* * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
No, there's nothing the matter with me. I'm only trying to collect my thoughts. It's so strange. I'm positively certain that it was inside when I put on the seal last spring. I can't have imagined that: it's utterly impossible. If I ever took a stiff glass with a friend now and then, I would admit that I might have made some idiotic mistake when I had taken too much. But I don't, and I never did. A pint of ale at supper and[Pg 85] half a go of rum at bedtime was the most I ever took in my good days. I believe it's always we sober fellows who get rheumatism and gout! Yet there was my seal, and there is the empty bandbox. That's plain enough.
No, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm just trying to gather my thoughts. It's so strange. I'm absolutely sure it was in there when I sealed it last spring. I can't have imagined that: it's completely impossible. If I ever had a drink with a friend now and then, I would admit that I might have made some stupid mistake after having too much. But I don't, and I never have. A pint of beer at dinner and half a shot of rum at bedtime was the most I ever had in my better days. I believe it's always us sober folks who end up with rheumatism and gout! Yet there was my seal, and here is the empty box. That's pretty clear.
I say, I don't half like this. It's not right. There's something wrong about it, in my opinion. You needn't talk to me about supernatural manifestations, for I don't believe in them, not a little bit! Somebody must have tampered with the seal and stolen the skull. Sometimes, when I go out to work in the garden in summer, I leave my watch and chain, on the table. Trehearn must have taken the seal then, and used it, for he would be quite sure that I should not come in for at least an hour.
I have to say, I really don't like this. It feels wrong. There’s definitely something off about it, in my view. Don’t even try to convince me about supernatural stuff, because I don’t believe in any of that! Someone must have messed with the seal and stolen the skull. Sometimes, when I’m working in the garden during the summer, I leave my watch and chain on the table. Trehearn must have taken the seal then and used it because he would know I wouldn’t come in for at least an hour.
If it was not Trehearn—oh, don't talk to me about the possibility that the thing has got out by itself! If it has, it must be somewhere about the house, in some out-of-the-way corner, waiting. We may come upon it anywhere, waiting for us, don't you know?—just waiting in the dark. Then it will scream at me; it will shriek at me in the dark, for it hates me, I tell you!
If it wasn't Trehearn—oh, don't even bring up the chance that it got out on its own! If it did, it has to be somewhere in the house, hiding in some forgotten corner, just waiting. We could stumble upon it anywhere, lurking in the dark, you know?—just waiting for us. Then it will scream at me; it will shriek at me in the dark, because it hates me, I swear!
The bandbox is quite empty. We are not dreaming, either of us. There, I turn it upside down.
The bandbox is pretty empty. Neither of us is dreaming. There, I flip it upside down.
What's that? Something fell out as I turned[Pg 86] it over. It's on the floor, it's near your feet, I know it is, and we must find it. Help me to find it, man. Have you got it? For God's sake, give it to me, quickly!
What's that? Something dropped when I turned[Pg 86] it over. It's on the floor, it's by your feet, I can feel it, and we need to find it. Help me look for it, please. Do you have it? For God's sake, just give it to me, fast!
Lead! I knew it when I heard it fall. I knew it couldn't be anything else by the little thud it made on the hearth-rug. So it was lead after all, and Luke did it.
Lead! I realized it as soon as I heard it drop. I knew it couldn't be anything else because of the soft thud it made on the rug by the fireplace. So it really was lead, and Luke was the one who did it.
I feel a little bit shaken up—not exactly nervous, you know, but badly shaken up, that's the fact. Anybody would, I should think. After all, you cannot say that it's fear of the thing, for I went up and brought it down—at least, I believed I was bringing it down, and that's the same thing, and by George, rather than give in to such silly nonsense, I'll take the box upstairs again and put it back in its place. It's not that. It's the certainty that the poor little woman came to her end in that way, by my fault, because I told the story. That's what is so dreadful. Somehow, I had always hoped that I should never be quite sure of it, but there is no doubting it now. Look at that!
I feel a bit shaken up—not exactly nervous, but definitely shaken, that's the truth. Anyone would be, I think. After all, it's not fear of the thing, since I went up and brought it down—at least, I thought I was bringing it down, and that's basically the same, and honestly, rather than give in to such silly nonsense, I'll just take the box upstairs again and put it back where it belongs. It's not about that. It's the fact that the poor woman met her end that way, because of me, since I told the story. That's what’s truly awful. Somehow, I had always hoped I would never be completely sure about it, but there's no doubt now. Look at that!
Look at it! That little lump of lead with no particular shape. Think of what it did, man! Doesn't it make you shiver? He gave her something to make her sleep, of course, but there must have been one moment of awful agony. Think of[Pg 87] having boiling lead poured into your brain. Think of it. She was dead before she could scream, but only think of—oh! there it is again—it's just outside—I know it's just outside—I can't keep it out of my head!—oh!—oh!
Look at it! That little lump of lead with no specific shape. Think about what it did, man! Doesn't it make you shiver? He gave her something to put her to sleep, of course, but there must have been that one moment of terrible pain. Imagine[Pg 87] having boiling lead poured into your brain. Just think about it. She was dead before she could scream, but just think about—oh! there it is again—it's right outside—I know it's right outside—I can't get it out of my head!—oh!—oh!
* * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
You thought I had fainted? No, I wish I had, for it would have stopped sooner. It's all very well to say that it's only a noise, and that a noise never hurt anybody—you're as white as a shroud yourself. There's only one thing to be done, if we hope to close an eye to-night. We must find it and put it back into its bandbox and shut it up in the cupboard, where it likes to be. I don't know how it got out, but it wants to get in again. That's why it screams so awfully to-night—it was never so bad as this—never since I first——
You thought I had passed out? No, I wish I had, because it would have ended sooner. It’s easy to say it’s just a noise and that a noise can’t hurt anyone—you look just as pale. There’s only one thing we can do if we want to get some sleep tonight. We need to find it, put it back in its box, and lock it up in the cupboard, where it prefers to be. I don’t know how it got out, but it wants to get back in. That’s why it’s screaming so terribly tonight—it’s never been this bad—never since I first——
Bury it? Yes, if we can find it, we'll bury it, if it takes us all night. We'll bury it six feet deep and ram down the earth over it, so that it shall never get out again, and if it screams, we shall hardly hear it so deep down. Quick, we'll get the lantern and look for it. It cannot be far away; I'm sure it's just outside—it was coming in when I shut the window, I know it.
Bury it? Yes, if we can find it, we'll bury it, even if it takes all night. We'll dig it six feet down and pack the dirt tight on top so it can never escape again, and if it screams, we probably won't hear it from that deep. Hurry, let's grab the lantern and search for it. It can't be far; I'm certain it's just outside—it was coming in when I closed the window, I know it.
Yes, you're quite right. I'm losing my senses, and I must get hold of myself. Don't speak to me for a minute or two; I'll sit quite still and[Pg 88] keep my eyes shut and repeat something I know. That's the best way.
Yes, you're absolutely right. I'm losing my mind, and I need to gather myself. Please don't talk to me for a minute or two; I'll sit completely still and[Pg 88]keep my eyes closed and repeat something I know. That's the best way.
"Add together the altitude, the latitude, and the polar distance, divide by two and subtract the altitude from the half-sum; then add the logarithm of the secant of the latitude, the cosecant of the polar distance, the cosine of the half-sum and the sine of the half-sum minus the altitude"—there! Don't say that I'm out of my senses, for my memory is all right, isn't it?
"Add the altitude, latitude, and polar distance together, divide by two, and then subtract the altitude from that half-sum; next, add the logarithm of the secant of the latitude, the cosecant of the polar distance, the cosine of the half-sum, and the sine of the half-sum minus the altitude"—there! Don’t tell me I’ve lost my mind, because my memory is perfectly fine, right?
Of course, you may say that it's mechanical, and that we never forget the things we learned when we were boys and have used almost every day for a lifetime. But that's the very point. When a man is going crazy, it's the mechanical part of his mind that gets out of order and won't work right; he remembers things that never happened, or he sees things that aren't real, or he hears noises when there is perfect silence. That's not what is the matter with either of us, is it?
Of course, you might say it's all just mechanical, and that we never forget the things we learned as kids and have used almost every day for a lifetime. But that's the whole point. When a person is losing their mind, it's the mechanical part of their brain that malfunctions and doesn't work properly; they recall things that never happened, or they see things that aren't there, or they hear sounds when there's complete silence. That's not what's going on with either of us, right?
Come, we'll get the lantern and go round the house. It's not raining—only blowing like old boots, as we used to say. The lantern is in the cupboard under the stairs in the hall, and I always keep it trimmed in case of a wreck.
Come on, let's grab the lantern and walk around the house. It's not raining—just really windy, like we used to say. The lantern is in the cupboard under the stairs in the hallway, and I always keep it ready just in case of an emergency.
No use to look for the thing? I don't see how you can say that. It was nonsense to talk of burying it, of course, for it doesn't want to be[Pg 89] buried; it wants to go back into its bandbox and be taken upstairs, poor thing! Trehearn took it out, I know, and made the seal over again. Perhaps he took it to the churchyard, and he may have meant well. I daresay he thought that it would not scream any more if it were quietly laid in consecrated ground, near where it belongs. But it has come home. Yes, that's it. He's not half a bad fellow, Trehearn, and rather religiously inclined, I think. Does not that sound natural, and reasonable, and well meant? He supposed it screamed because it was not decently buried—with the rest. But he was wrong. How should he know that it screams at me because it hates me, and because it's my fault that there was that little lump of lead in it?
No point in looking for it? I don't see how you can say that. It was ridiculous to talk about burying it, of course, because it doesn’t want to be[Pg 89] buried; it wants to go back in its box and be taken upstairs, poor thing! Trehearn took it out, I know, and resealed it. Maybe he took it to the churchyard, and he might have meant well. I guess he thought it wouldn’t scream anymore if it was quietly laid in consecrated ground, close to where it belongs. But it has come back home. Yes, that’s it. He’s not such a bad guy, Trehearn, and I think he's somewhat religious. Doesn’t that sound natural, reasonable, and well-intentioned? He thought it screamed because it wasn’t properly buried—with the others. But he was wrong. How could he know that it screams at me because it hates me, and because it’s my fault that there was that little lump of lead in it?
No use to look for it, anyhow? Nonsense! I tell you it wants to be found—Hark! what's that knocking? Do you hear it? Knock—knock—knock—three times, then a pause, and then again. It has a hollow sound, hasn't it?
No point in searching for it, right? That's ridiculous! I'm telling you it wants to be discovered—Hey! What’s that knocking? Do you hear it? Knock—knock—knock—three times, then a pause, and then again. It sounds hollow, doesn’t it?
It has come home. I've heard that knock before. It wants to come in and be taken upstairs, in its box. It's at the front door.
It has arrived. I've heard that knock before. It wants to come in and be taken upstairs, in its box. It's at the front door.
Will you come with me? We'll take it in. Yes, I own that I don't like to go alone and open the door. The thing will roll in and stop against my foot, just as it did before, and the light will go[Pg 90] out. I'm a good deal shaken by finding that bit of lead, and, besides, my heart isn't quite right—too much strong tobacco, perhaps. Besides, I'm quite willing to own that I'm a bit nervous to-night, if I never was before in my life.
Will you come with me? Let's go check it out together. Honestly, I admit that I don’t like going alone to open the door. That thing will come in and stop right at my feet, just like it did before, and the light will go[Pg 90] out. I’m really shaken up from finding that piece of lead, and, to be honest, my heart isn’t quite right—maybe it’s from too much strong tobacco. Plus, I’m definitely feeling a bit nervous tonight, more than I ever have in my life.
That's right, come along! I'll take the box with me, so as not to come back. Do you hear the knocking? It's not like any other knocking I ever heard. If you will hold this door open, I can find the lantern under the stairs by the light from this room without bringing the lamp into the hall—it would only go out.
That's right, come with me! I'll take the box, so I won't have to come back. Do you hear that knocking? It's different from any knocking I've heard before. If you can keep this door open, I can grab the lantern from under the stairs using the light from this room, without bringing the lamp into the hall—it would just go out.
The thing knows we are coming—hark! It's impatient to get in. Don't shut the door till the lantern is ready, whatever you do. There will be the usual trouble with the matches, I suppose—no, the first one, by Jove! I tell you it wants to get in, so there's no trouble. All right with that door now; shut it, please. Now come and hold the lantern, for it's blowing so hard outside that I shall have to use both hands. That's it, hold the light low. Do you hear the knocking still? Here goes—I'll open just enough with my foot against the bottom of the door—now!
The thing knows we're coming—listen! It's eager to get inside. Don't close the door until the lantern is ready, whatever you do. I guess there will be the usual hassle with the matches—no, the first one worked! I swear it wants to get in, so no hassle there. The door's good to go now; shut it, please. Now come and hold the lantern, because it's really windy outside, and I’ll need both hands. That's it, hold the light low. Do you still hear the knocking? Here we go—I’ll open it just enough while I keep my foot against the bottom of the door—now!
Catch it! it's only the wind that blows it across the floor, that's all—there's half a hurricane outside, I tell you! Have you got it?[Pg 91] The bandbox is on the table. One minute, and I'll have the bar up. There!
Catch it! It’s just the wind blowing it across the floor, that’s all—there’s a serious storm outside, I tell you! Do you have it?[Pg 91] The bandbox is on the table. Just give me a minute, and I’ll have the bar up. There!
Why did you throw it into the box so roughly? It doesn't like that, you know.
Why did you toss it into the box so carelessly? It doesn't like that, you know.
What do you say? Bitten your hand? Nonsense, man! You did just what I did. You pressed the jaws together with your other hand and pinched yourself. Let me see. You don't mean to say you have drawn blood? You must have squeezed hard, by Jove, for the skin is certainly torn. I'll give you some carbolic solution for it before we go to bed, for they say a scratch from a skull's tooth may go bad and give trouble.
What do you think? Bitten your hand? That's ridiculous, man! You did exactly what I did. You squeezed the jaws together with your other hand and pinched yourself. Let me take a look. You can't be saying you made yourself bleed? You must have squeezed really hard, because the skin is definitely torn. I'll get you some carbolic solution for it before we go to bed, because they say a scratch from a skull's tooth can get infected and cause problems.
Come inside again and let me see it by the lamp. I'll bring the bandbox—never mind the lantern, it may just as well burn in the hall, for I shall need it presently when I go up the stairs. Yes, shut the door if you will; it makes it more cheerful and bright. Is your finger still bleeding? I'll get you the carbolic in an instant; just let me see the thing.
Come inside again and let me see it by the lamp. I'll grab the bandbox—don’t worry about the lantern, it can stay in the hall since I’ll need it soon when I head upstairs. Yes, close the door if you want; it makes the place feel cozier and brighter. Is your finger still bleeding? I'll get you some antiseptic right away; just let me see it.
Ugh! There's a drop of blood on the upper jaw. It's on the eye-tooth. Ghastly, isn't it? When I saw it running along the floor of the hall, the strength almost went out of my hands, and I felt my knees bending; then I understood that it was the gale, driving it over the smooth boards. You don't blame me? No, I should[Pg 92] think not! We were boys together, and we've seen a thing or two, and we may just as well own to each other that we were both in a beastly funk when it slid across the floor at you. No wonder you pinched your finger picking it up, after that, if I did the same thing out of sheer nervousness, in broad daylight, with the sun streaming in on me.
Ugh! There’s a drop of blood on the upper jaw. It’s on the canine. Creepy, right? When I saw it running across the hall floor, I nearly lost my grip, and I felt my knees give out; then I realized it was just the wind pushing it over the smooth boards. You don’t blame me? No, I wouldn’t think so! We grew up together, and we’ve experienced quite a bit, and we might as well admit to each other that we were both in a total panic when it slid across the floor toward you. No surprise you pinched your finger picking it up; I did the same thing out of pure nerves, in broad daylight, with the sun shining down on me.
Strange that the jaw should stick to it so closely, isn't it? I suppose it's the dampness, for it shuts like a vice—I have wiped off the drop of blood, for it was not nice to look at. I'm not going to try to open the jaws, don't be afraid! I shall not play any tricks with the poor thing, but I'll just seal the box again, and we'll take it upstairs and put it away where it wants to be. The wax is on the writing-table by the window. Thank you. It will be long before I leave my seal lying about again, for Trehearn to use, I can tell you. Explain? I don't explain natural phenomena, but if you choose to think that Trehearn had hidden it somewhere in the bushes, and that the gale blew it to the house against the door, and made it knock, as if it wanted to be let in, you're not thinking the impossible, and I'm quite ready to agree with you.
Strange how the jaw sticks to it so tightly, isn’t it? I guess it’s the dampness because it shuts like a vice—I’ve wiped off the drop of blood since it wasn’t pleasant to look at. I’m not going to try to open the jaws, so don’t worry! I won’t play any tricks on the poor thing, but I’ll just seal the box again, and we’ll take it upstairs and put it away where it belongs. The wax is on the writing table by the window. Thanks. It will be a long time before I leave my seal lying around again for Trehearn to use, let me tell you. Explain? I don’t explain natural phenomena, but if you want to think that Trehearn hid it somewhere in the bushes, and the wind blew it to the house against the door, making it knock as if it wanted to come in, you’re not imagining the impossible, and I’m totally willing to agree with you.
Do you see that? You can swear that you've actually seen me seal it this time, in case anything of the kind should occur again. The wax[Pg 93] fastens the strings to the lid, which cannot possibly be lifted, even enough to get in one finger. You're quite satisfied, aren't you? Yes. Besides, I shall lock the cupboard and keep the key in my pocket hereafter.
Do you see that? You can swear that you've actually seen me seal it this time, in case anything like this happens again. The wax[Pg 93] holds the strings to the lid, which can't possibly be lifted even enough to get a finger in. You're pretty satisfied, right? Yes. Besides, I'll lock the cupboard and keep the key in my pocket from now on.
Now we can take the lantern and go upstairs. Do you know? I'm very much inclined to agree with your theory that the wind blew it against the house. I'll go ahead, for I know the stairs; just hold the lantern near my feet as we go up. How the wind howls and whistles! Did you feel the sand on the floor under your shoes as we crossed the hall?
Now we can grab the lantern and head upstairs. You know what? I'm really starting to agree with your idea that the wind pushed it against the house. I'll go first since I know the stairs; just keep the lantern close to my feet as we go up. Wow, the wind is howling and whistling! Did you notice the sand on the floor under your shoes when we walked through the hall?
Yes—this is the door of the best bedroom. Hold up the lantern, please. This side, by the head of the bed. I left the cupboard open when I got the box. Isn't it queer how the faint odour of women's dresses will hang about an old closet for years? This is the shelf. You've seen me set the box there, and now you see me turn the key and put it into my pocket. So that's done!
Yes—this is the door to the best bedroom. Please hold up the lantern. This side, by the head of the bed. I left the cupboard open when I got the box. Isn't it strange how the faint smell of women's dresses lingers in an old closet for years? This is the shelf. You've seen me put the box there, and now you see me turn the key and put it in my pocket. So that's done!
* * * * * * *
* * * * * * *
Good-night. Are you sure you're quite comfortable? It's not much of a room, but I daresay you would as soon sleep here as upstairs to-night. If you want anything, sing out; there's only a lath and plaster partition between us. There's not so much wind on this side by half.[Pg 94] There's the Hollands on the table, if you'll have one more nightcap. No? Well, do as you please. Good-night again, and don't dream about that thing, if you can.
Good night. Are you sure you’re comfortable? It’s not much of a room, but I bet you’d rather sleep here than upstairs tonight. If you need anything, just call out; there’s only a thin wall between us. It’s a lot less windy on this side. [Pg 94] There’s some Hollands on the table if you want one more drink. No? Fine, do what you like. Good night again, and try not to dream about that thing, if you can.
* * * * * * *
* * * * * * *
The following paragraph appeared in the Penraddon News, 23rd November, 1906:
The following paragraph appeared in the Penraddon News, November 23, 1906:
"Mysterious Death of a Retired Sea Captain
"Mysterious Death of a Retired Sea Captain"
"The village of Tredcombe is much disturbed by the strange death of Captain Charles Braddock, and all sorts of impossible stories are circulating with regard to the circumstances, which certainly seem difficult of explanation. The retired captain, who had successfully commanded in his time the largest and fastest liners belonging to one of the principal transatlantic steamship companies, was found dead in his bed on Tuesday morning in his own cottage, a quarter of a mile from the village. An examination was made at once by the local practitioner, which revealed the horrible fact that the deceased had been bitten in the throat by a human assailant, with such amazing force as to crush the windpipe and cause death. The marks of the teeth of both jaws were so plainly visible on the skin that they could be counted, but the [Pg 95]perpetrator of the deed had evidently lost the two lower middle incisors. It is hoped that this peculiarity may help to identify the murderer, who can only be a dangerous escaped maniac. The deceased, though over sixty-five years of age, is said to have been a hale man of considerable physical strength, and it is remarkable that no signs of any struggle were visible in the room, nor could it be ascertained how the murderer had entered the house. Warning has been sent to all the insane asylums in the United Kingdom, but as yet no information has been received regarding the escape of any dangerous patient.
The village of Tredcombe is deeply disturbed by the odd death of Captain Charles Braddock, and all kinds of unbelievable stories are spreading about the circumstances, which are definitely hard to explain. The retired captain, who had successfully commanded some of the largest and fastest liners for one of the major transatlantic steamship companies, was found dead in his bed on Tuesday morning at his cottage, a quarter of a mile from the village. A local doctor examined the scene immediately and found the horrifying fact that the deceased had been bitten in the throat by a human attacker, with enough force to crush his windpipe and cause his death. The bite marks from both jaws were clearly visible on his skin and could even be counted, but the [Pg 95]attacker had apparently lost two lower middle incisors. There is hope that this unique detail may help identify the murderer, who must be a dangerous escaped maniac. Although the deceased was over sixty-five years old, he was known to be fit and strong, which makes it strange that there were no signs of a struggle in the room, and it could not be determined how the murderer got into the house. Warnings have been sent to all mental institutions across the UK, but so far, there has been no information about any escaped dangerous patient.
"The coroner's jury returned the somewhat singular verdict that Captain Braddock came to his death 'by the hands or teeth of some person unknown.' The local surgeon is said to have expressed privately the opinion that the maniac is a woman, a view he deduces from the small size of the jaws, as shown by the marks of the teeth. The whole affair is shrouded in mystery. Captain Braddock was a widower, and lived alone. He leaves no children."
"The coroner's jury returned with the unusual verdict that Captain Braddock died 'by the hands or teeth of some unknown person.' The local surgeon reportedly mentioned privately that he believes the attacker is a woman, a conclusion he reaches from the small size of the jaws indicated by the bite marks. The entire incident is shrouded in mystery. Captain Braddock was a widower and lived alone. He had no children."
[Note.—Students of ghost lore and haunted houses will find the foundation of the foregoing story in the legends about a skull which is still preserved in the farm-house called Bettiscombe Manor, situated, I believe, on the Dorsetshire coast.]
[Note.—Students of ghost stories and haunted houses will find the basis of the above story in the legends about a skull that is still kept in the farmhouse known as Bettiscombe Manor, located, I believe, on the Dorsetshire coast.]
Man overboard!
MAN OVERBOARD!
Person overboard!
Yes—I have heard "Man overboard!" a good many times since I was a boy, and once or twice I have seen the man go. There are more men lost in that way than passengers on ocean steamers ever learn of. I have stood looking over the rail on a dark night, when there was a step beside me, and something flew past my head like a big black bat—and then there was a splash! Stokers often go like that. They go mad with the heat, and they slip up on deck and are gone before anybody can stop them, often without being seen or heard. Now and then a passenger will do it, but he generally has what he thinks a pretty good reason. I have seen a man empty his revolver into a crowd of emigrants forward, and then go over like a rocket. Of course, any officer who respects himself will do what he can to pick a man up, if the weather is not so heavy that he would have to risk his ship; but I don't think I remember seeing a man come back when he was once fairly gone more than two or three times in all my life, though we have often picked up the life-buoy, and sometimes[Pg 100] the fellow's cap. Stokers and passengers jump over; I never knew a sailor to do that, drunk or sober. Yes, they say it has happened on hard ships, but I never knew a case myself. Once in a long time a man is fished out when it is just too late, and dies in the boat before you can get him aboard, and—well, I don't know that I ever told that story since it happened—I knew a fellow who went over, and came back dead. I didn't see him after he came back; only one of us did, but we all knew he was there.
Yes—I’ve heard "Man overboard!" a lot since I was a kid, and once or twice I’ve seen it happen. More men get lost that way than passengers on ocean liners ever find out about. I’ve stood looking over the rail on a dark night when someone stepped beside me, and something flew past my head like a big black bat—and then there was a splash! Stokers often go like that. They go crazy from the heat, slip up on deck, and are gone before anyone can stop them, often without being seen or heard. Occasionally, a passenger will do it, but they usually think they have a good reason. I once saw a guy empty his revolver into a crowd of immigrants up front, and then he went overboard like a rocket. Of course, any officer who has any self-respect will try to rescue a man if the weather isn’t too bad and it wouldn’t put the ship at risk; but I can’t recall seeing a man come back once he’s really gone, more than two or three times in my entire life, even though we’ve often retrieved the life buoy, and sometimes[Pg 100] the guy's cap. Stokers and passengers jump over; I’ve never seen a sailor do that, whether drunk or sober. Yes, they say it has happened on tough ships, but I’ve never witnessed it myself. Once in a long while, a man gets pulled out when it’s just too late, and dies in the boat before you can get him on board, and—well, I don’t know that I’ve ever told that story since it happened—I knew a guy who went over, and came back dead. I didn’t see him after he returned; only one of us did, but we all knew he was there.
No, I am not giving you "sharks." There isn't a shark in this story, and I don't know that I would tell it at all if we weren't alone, just you and I. But you and I have seen things in various parts, and maybe you will understand. Anyhow, you know that I am telling what I know about, and nothing else; and it has been on my mind to tell you ever since it happened, only there hasn't been a chance.
No, I’m not giving you “sharks.” There isn’t a shark in this story, and I’m not sure I would even share it if we weren’t alone, just you and me. But we’ve both seen things in different places, and maybe you’ll get it. Anyway, you know I’m sharing what I know and nothing more; I’ve been wanting to tell you ever since it happened, but there hasn’t been a chance.
It's a long story, and it took some time to happen; and it began a good many years ago, in October, as well as I can remember. I was mate then; I passed the local Marine Board for master about three years later. She was the Helen B. Jackson, of New York, with lumber for the West Indies, four-masted schooner, Captain Hackstaff. She was an old-fashioned one, even then—no[Pg 101] steam donkey, and all to do by hand. There were still sailors in the coasting trade in those days, you remember. She wasn't a hard ship, for the Old Man was better than most of them, though he kept to himself and had a face like a monkey-wrench. We were thirteen, all told, in the ship's company; and some of them afterwards thought that might have had something to do with it, but I had all that nonsense knocked out of me when I was a boy. I don't mean to say that I like to go to sea on a Friday, but I have gone to sea on a Friday, and nothing has happened; and twice before that we have been thirteen, because one of the hands didn't turn up at the last minute, and nothing ever happened either—nothing worse than the loss of a light spar or two, or a little canvas. Whenever I have been wrecked, we had sailed as cheerily as you please—no thirteens, no Fridays, no dead men in the hold. I believe it generally happens that way.
It's a long story that took some time to unfold, and it all started many years ago, in October, as far as I can remember. Back then, I was a mate; I got my master's license from the local Marine Board about three years later. The ship was the Helen B. Jackson, from New York, carrying lumber to the West Indies, a four-masted schooner, captained by Hackstaff. She was pretty old-fashioned even then—no[Pg 101] steam-powered gear; everything was done by hand. There were still sailors working in the coasting trade in those days, you remember. She wasn't a difficult ship to sail, since the Old Man was better than most captains, although he kept to himself and had a face that resembled a monkey wrench. There were thirteen of us in the crew altogether; some thought that number might have had something to do with what happened, but I let go of that nonsense when I was a kid. I’m not saying I enjoy going to sea on a Friday, but I have gone to sea on a Friday, and nothing happened; and twice before that, we sailed with thirteen crew members because one of the hands didn’t show up at the last minute, and nothing went wrong then either—nothing worse than losing a light spar or a bit of canvas. Whenever I've been shipwrecked, we sailed out as cheerfully as possible—no thirteens, no Fridays, no dead men in the hold. I believe that's how it usually goes.
I daresay you remember those two Benton boys that were so much alike? It is no wonder, for they were twin brothers. They shipped with us as boys on the old Boston Belle, when you were mate and I was before the mast. I never was quite sure which was which of those two, even then; and when they both had beards it was harder than ever to tell them apart. One was Jim, and[Pg 102] the other was Jack; James Benton and John Benton. The only difference I ever could see was, that one seemed to be rather more cheerful and inclined to talk than the other; but one couldn't even be sure of that. Perhaps they had moods. Anyhow, there was one of them that used to whistle when he was alone. He only knew one tune, and that was "Nancy Lee," and the other didn't know any tune at all; but I may be mistaken about that, too. Perhaps they both knew it.
I bet you remember those two Benton boys who looked so much alike? It’s no surprise since they were twin brothers. They sailed with us as boys on the old Boston Belle, when you were the mate and I was working in the crew. I was never completely sure which was which, even back then; and when they both grew beards, it was even harder to tell them apart. One was Jim, and[Pg 102] the other was Jack; James Benton and John Benton. The only difference I could ever notice was that one seemed a bit more cheerful and chatty than the other, but even that wasn’t certain. Maybe they just had different moods. Anyway, one of them would whistle when he was by himself. He only knew one song, and that was "Nancy Lee," while the other didn’t seem to know any song at all; although I might be wrong about that, too. Maybe they both knew it.
Well, those two Benton boys turned up on board the Helen B. Jackson. They had been on half a dozen ships since the Boston Belle, and they had grown up and were good seamen. They had reddish beards and bright blue eyes and freckled faces; and they were quiet fellows, good workmen on rigging, pretty willing, and both good men at the wheel. They managed to be in the same watch—it was the port watch on the Helen B., and that was mine, and I had great confidence in them both. If there was any job aloft that needed two hands, they were always the first to jump into the rigging; but that doesn't often happen on a fore-and-aft schooner. If it breezed up, and the jibtopsail was to be taken in, they never minded a wetting, and they would be out at the bowsprit end before there was a hand at the downhaul. The men liked them for that, and because they didn't blow about what[Pg 103] they could do. I remember one day in a reefing job, the downhaul parted and came down on deck from the peak of the spanker. When the weather moderated, and we shook the reefs out, the downhaul was forgotten until we happened to think we might soon need it again. There was some sea on, and the boom was off, and the gaff was slamming. One of those Benton boys was at the wheel, and before I knew what he was doing, the other was out on the gaff with the end of the new downhaul, trying to reeve it through its block. The one who was steering watched him, and got as white as cheese. The other one was swinging about on the gaff end, and every time she rolled to leeward, he brought up with a jerk that would have sent anything but a monkey flying into space. But he didn't leave it until he had rove the new rope, and he got back all right. I think it was Jack at the wheel; the one that seemed more cheerful, the one that whistled "Nancy Lee." He had rather have been doing the job himself than watch his brother do it, and he had a scared look; but he kept her as steady as he could in the swell, and he drew a long breath when Jim had worked his way back to the peak-halliard block, and had something to hold on to. I think it was Jim.
Well, those two Benton brothers showed up on the Helen B. Jackson. They had been on a handful of ships since the Boston Belle, and they had grown up into skilled sailors. They had reddish beards, bright blue eyes, and freckled faces; they were quiet guys, great workers on the rigging, pretty willing, and both were good at handling the wheel. They managed to be on the same watch—it was the port watch on the Helen B., which was mine, and I had a lot of confidence in both of them. If there was a job high up that needed two hands, they were always the first to jump into the rigging; but that doesn’t happen often on a fore-and-aft schooner. If the wind picked up and we needed to take in the jibtopsail, they didn’t mind getting wet, and they would be out at the bowsprit end before anyone else could grab the downhaul. The crew appreciated them for that and because they didn’t brag about what[Pg 103] they could do. I remember one day during a reefing job when the downhaul broke and came crashing down on deck from the peak of the spanker. When the weather calmed down and we shook the reefs out, we forgot about the downhaul until we realized we might need it again soon. There were some waves, and the boom was swinging, making the gaff slam. One of those Benton brothers was at the wheel, and before I knew it, the other was out on the gaff with the end of the new downhaul, trying to thread it through its block. The one steering watched him, looking as pale as a ghost. The other brother was swinging out on the gaff, and every time the boat rolled to leeward, he was jerked up in a way that would have sent anyone else flying. But he didn’t give up until he had threaded the new rope, and he got back safely. I think it was Jack steering; he seemed more cheerful, the one who whistled "Nancy Lee." He would have rather done the job himself than watch his brother do it, and he looked scared; but he kept it as steady as possible in the swell, letting out a long breath when Jim made it back to the peak-halliard block and had something to hold onto. I think it was Jim.
They had good togs, too, and they were neat and clean men in the forecastle. I knew they had[Pg 104] nobody belonging to them ashore—no mother, no sisters, and no wives; but somehow they both looked as if a woman overhauled them now and then. I remember that they had one ditty bag between them, and they had a woman's thimble in it. One of the men said something about it to them, and they looked at each other; and one smiled, but the other didn't. Most of their clothes were alike, but they had one red guernsey between them. For some time I used to think it was always the same one that wore it, and I thought that might be a way to tell them apart. But then I heard one asking the other for it, and saying that the other had worn it last. So that was no sign either. The cook was a West Indiaman, called James Lawley; his father had been hanged for putting lights in cocoanut trees where they didn't belong. But he was a good cook, and knew his business; and it wasn't soup-and-bully and dog's-body every Sunday. That's what I meant to say. On Sunday the cook called both those boys Jim, and on weekdays he called them Jack. He used to say he must be right sometimes if he did that, because even the hands on a painted clock point right twice a day.
They had nice clothes, too, and they were tidy and clean men in the forecastle. I knew they had[Pg 104] no family on land—no mother, no sisters, and no wives; but somehow they both looked like a woman checked in on them every now and then. I remember they shared one ditty bag, and it had a woman's thimble in it. One of the guys said something about it to them, and they exchanged glances; one smiled, but the other didn’t. Most of their clothes were similar, but they shared one red guernsey. For a while, I thought it was the same one that wore it, and I thought that could be a way to tell them apart. But then I heard one ask the other for it, saying the other had worn it last. So that didn’t help either. The cook was from the West Indies, named James Lawley; his father had been executed for putting lights in coconut trees where they didn’t belong. But he was a good cook and knew what he was doing; it wasn’t just soup and bully and dog's body every Sunday. That’s what I wanted to say. On Sundays, the cook called both those boys Jim, and on weekdays, he called them Jack. He used to say he had to be right sometimes by doing that, because even the hands on a painted clock are right twice a day.
What started me to trying for some way of telling the Bentons apart was this. I heard them talking about a girl. It was at night, in our[Pg 105] watch, and the wind had headed us off a little rather suddenly, and when we had flattened in the jibs, we clewed down the topsails, while the two Benton boys got the spanker sheet aft. One of them was at the helm. I coiled down the mizzen-topsail downhaul myself, and was going aft to see how she headed up, when I stopped to look at a light, and leaned against the deck-house. While I was standing there, I heard the two boys talking. It sounded as if they had talked of the same thing before, and, as far as I could tell, the voice I heard first belonged to the one who wasn't quite so cheerful as the other—the one who was Jim when one knew which he was.
What got me trying to find a way to tell the Bentons apart was this. I heard them talking about a girl. It was nighttime, during our[Pg 105] watch, and the wind had suddenly shifted, so when we flattened the jibs, we lowered the topsails while the two Benton boys managed the spanker sheet. One of them was at the helm. I coiled the mizzen-topsail downhaul myself and was heading aft to see how she was steering when I paused to look at a light and leaned against the deck-house. While I was standing there, I overheard the two boys talking. It sounded like they’d discussed the same thing before, and from what I could tell, the first voice I heard belonged to the one who was a bit less cheerful than the other—the one who was Jim when you knew which was which.
"Does Mamie know?" Jim asked.
"Does Mamie know?" Jim asked.
"Not yet," Jack answered quietly. He was at the wheel. "I mean to tell her next time we get home."
"Not yet," Jack replied softly. He was driving. "I plan to tell her the next time we get home."
"All right."
"Okay."
That was all I heard, because I didn't care to stand there listening while they were talking about their own affairs; so I went aft to look into the binnacle, and I told the one at the wheel to keep her so as long as she had way on her, for I thought the wind would back up again before long, and there was land to leeward. When he answered, his voice, somehow, didn't sound like the cheerful one. Perhaps his brother had [Pg 106]relieved the wheel while they had been speaking, but what I had heard set me wondering which of them it was that had a girl at home. There's lots of time for wondering on a schooner in fair weather.
That was all I heard, because I didn't want to stand there listening while they talked about their own stuff; so I went to the back to check the binnacle, and I told the guy at the wheel to keep her steady as long as she was moving, since I thought the wind would shift back soon, and there was land downwind. When he replied, his voice didn’t sound cheerful like before. Maybe his brother had taken over the wheel while they were talking, but what I heard made me curious about which of them had a girl waiting back home. There’s plenty of time for wondering on a schooner in good weather.
After that I thought I noticed that the two brothers were more silent when they were together. Perhaps they guessed that I had overheard something that night, and kept quiet when I was about. Some men would have amused themselves by trying to chaff them separately about the girl at home, and I suppose whichever one it was would have let the cat out of the bag if I had done that. But, somehow, I didn't like to. Yes, I was thinking of getting married myself at that time, so I had a sort of fellow-feeling for whichever one it was, that made me not want to chaff him.
After that, I noticed that the two brothers were quieter when they were together. Maybe they suspected that I had overheard something that night and stayed silent when I was around. Some guys would have entertained themselves by teasing them separately about the girl at home, and I guess whichever one it was would have spilled the beans if I had done that. But for some reason, I didn’t feel like it. Yeah, I was thinking about getting married myself at that time, so I felt a kind of connection with whichever one it was, which made me not want to tease him.
They didn't talk much, it seemed to me; but in fair weather, when there was nothing to do at night, and one was steering, the other was everlastingly hanging round as if he were waiting to relieve the wheel, though he might have been enjoying a quiet nap for all I cared in such weather. Or else, when one was taking his turn at the lookout, the other would be sitting on an anchor beside him. One kept near the other, at night more than in the daytime. I noticed that. They were[Pg 107] fond of sitting on that anchor, and they generally tucked away their pipes under it, for the Helen B. was a dry boat in most weather, and like most fore-and-afters was better on a wind than going free. With a beam sea we sometimes shipped a little water aft. We were by the stern, anyhow, on that voyage, and that is one reason why we lost the man.
They didn't talk much, as it seemed to me; but when the weather was nice, and there was nothing to do at night, one would steer while the other lingered around as if waiting to take over the wheel, even though he could have been enjoying a peaceful nap for all I cared in that weather. Or when one was on lookout duty, the other would be sitting on an anchor next to him. They stayed close to each other, especially at night more than during the day. I noticed that. They were[Pg 107] fond of sitting on that anchor, and they usually kept their pipes hidden under it, since the Helen B. was a dry boat in most weather, and like most fore-and-afters, it sailed better with the wind than going free. With a beam sea, we sometimes took on a little water at the back. We were at the stern, anyway, on that voyage, and that's one reason why we lost the man.
We fell in with a southerly gale, southeast at first; and then the barometer began to fall while you could watch it, and a long swell began to come up from the south'ard. A couple of months earlier we might have been in for a cyclone, but it's "October all over" in those waters, as you know better than I. It was just going to blow, and then it was to rain, that was all; and we had plenty of time to make everything snug before it breezed up much. It blew harder after sunset, and by the time it was quite dark it was a full gale. We had shortened sail for it, but as we were by the stern we were carrying the spanker close reefed instead of the storm trysail. She steered better so, as long as we didn't have to heave to. I had the first watch with the Benton boys, and we had not been on deck an hour when a child might have seen that the weather meant business.
We ran into a southerly gale, starting from the southeast; then the barometer began to drop before our eyes, and a big swell from the south started to build. A couple of months earlier, we might have been dealing with a cyclone, but it was "October all over" in these waters, as you know better than I do. It was definitely going to blow, and then it would rain, that was for sure; and we had plenty of time to make everything secure before it really picked up. It got windier after sunset, and by the time it was fully dark, we were in a full gale. We had shortened sail for it, but since we were at the stern, we were using the spanker tightly reefed instead of the storm trysail. She handled better that way, as long as we didn't have to heave to. I had the first watch with the Benton boys, and we hadn't been on deck for an hour when even a child could tell that the weather was serious.
The Old Man came up on deck and looked[Pg 108] round, and in less than a minute he told us to give her the trysail. That meant heaving to, and I was glad of it; for though the Helen B. was a good vessel enough, she wasn't a new ship by a long way, and it did her no good to drive her in that weather. I asked whether I should call all hands, but just then the cook came aft, and the Old Man said he thought we could manage the job without waking the sleepers, and the trysail was handy on deck already, for we hadn't been expecting anything better. We were all in oilskins, of course, and the night was as black as a coal mine, with only a ray of light from the slit in the binnacle shield, and you couldn't tell one man from another except by his voice. The Old Man took the wheel; we got the boom amidships, and he jammed her into the wind until she had hardly any way. It was blowing now, and it was all that I and two others could do to get in the slack of the downhaul, while the others lowered away at the peak and throat, and we had our hands full to get a couple of turns round the wet sail. It's all child's play on a fore-and-after compared with reefing topsails in anything like weather, but the gear of a schooner sometimes does unhandy things that you don't expect, and those everlasting long halliards get foul of everything if they get adrift. I remember thinking how unhandy that particular[Pg 109] job was. Somebody unhooked the throat-halliard block, and thought he had hooked it into the head-cringle of the trysail, and sang out to hoist away, but he had missed it in the dark, and the heavy block went flying into the lee rigging, and nearly killed him when it swung back with the weather roll. Then the Old Man got her up in the wind until the jib was shaking like thunder; then he held her off, and she went off as soon as the headsails filled, and he couldn't get her back again without the spanker. Then the Helen B. did her favourite trick, and before we had time to say much, we had a sea over the quarter and were up to our waists, with the parrels of the trysail only half becketed round the mast, and the deck so full of gear that you couldn't put your foot on a plank, and the spanker beginning to get adrift again, being badly stopped, and the general confusion and hell's delight that you can only have on a fore-and-after when there's nothing really serious the matter. Of course, I don't mean to say that the Old Man couldn't have steered his trick as well as you or I or any other seaman; but I don't believe he had ever been on board the Helen B. before, or had his hand on her wheel till then; and he didn't know her ways. I don't mean to say that what happened was his fault. I don't know whose fault it was. Perhaps nobody was to blame. But I[Pg 110] knew something happened somewhere on board when we shipped that sea, and you'll never get it out of my head. I hadn't any spare time myself, for I was becketing the rest of the trysail to the mast. We were on the starboard tack, and the throat-halliard came down to port as usual, and I suppose there were at least three men at it, hoisting away, while I was at the beckets.
The Old Man came up on deck and looked[Pg 108] around, and in less than a minute he told us to set the trysail. That meant we were hunkering down, and I was relieved; even though the Helen B. was a decent ship, she wasn't new by any means, and pushing her hard in that weather wouldn’t be good for her. I asked if I should wake everyone up, but just then the cook came over, and the Old Man said he thought we could handle it without waking the ones sleeping, and the trysail was already on deck since we hadn’t been expecting anything better. We were all in oilskins, of course, and the night was pitch black, with just a glimmer of light from the binnacle shield, making it impossible to tell one person from another except by their voice. The Old Man took the wheel; we got the boom positioned amidships, and he pulled her into the wind until she slowed down. It was blowing hard, and it was all I and two others could do to get the slack from the downhaul while the others lowered the peak and throat, and we struggled to get a couple of turns around the wet sail. It’s easy compared to reefing topsails in rough weather, but a schooner’s gear can act unexpectedly, and those long halliards can get tangled if they get loose. I remember thinking how tricky that particular[Pg 109] job was. Someone unhooked the throat-halliard block, thinking he had attached it to the head-cringle of the trysail, and shouted to hoist away, but he missed it in the dark, and the heavy block flew into the lee rigging, nearly taking him out when it swung back with the roll of the ship. Then the Old Man got her into the wind until the jib was shaking like crazy; then he held her off, and she took off as soon as the headsails filled, but he couldn’t pull her back without the spanker. Then the Helen B. pulled her favorite move, and before we could say much, a wave crashed over the quarter and soaked us up to our waists, with the parrels of the trysail only half secured around the mast, and the deck so cluttered with gear that you couldn’t step anywhere without tripping, while the spanker started to come loose again since it was poorly secured, creating the kind of chaos and thrill typical of a fore-and-after when there wasn’t anything seriously wrong. Of course, I’m not saying the Old Man couldn’t handle the situation as well as anyone else; but I doubt he had ever been on the Helen B. before or had his hand on her wheel until that moment; he didn’t know how she operated. I’m not claiming that what happened was his fault; I don’t know whose fault it was. Maybe nobody was to blame. But I[Pg 110] knew something went wrong somewhere on board when we took that wave, and you won’t change my mind about it. I didn’t have any extra time myself, because I was securing the rest of the trysail to the mast. We were on the starboard tack, and the throat-halliard came down to port as usual, and I suppose there were at least three men hoisting away while I dealt with the beckets.
Now I am going to tell you something. You have known me, man and boy, several voyages; and you are older than I am; and you have always been a good friend to me. Now, do you think I am the sort of man to think I hear things where there isn't anything to hear, or to think I see things when there is nothing to see? No, you don't. Thank you. Well now, I had passed the last becket, and I sang out to the men to sway away, and I was standing on the jaws of the spanker-gaff, with my left hand on the bolt-rope of the trysail, so that I could feel when it was board-taut, and I wasn't thinking of anything except being glad the job was over, and that we were going to heave her to. It was as black as a coal-pocket, except that you could see the streaks on the seas as they went by, and abaft the deck-house I could see the ray of light from the binnacle on the captain's yellow oilskin as he stood at the wheel—or, rather, I might have seen it if I had looked round at that minute.[Pg 111] But I didn't look round. I heard a man whistling. It was "Nancy Lee," and I could have sworn that the man was right over my head in the crosstrees. Only somehow I knew very well that if anybody could have been up there, and could have whistled a tune, there were no living ears sharp enough to hear it on deck then. I heard it distinctly, and at the same time I heard the real whistling of the wind in the weather rigging, sharp and clear as the steam-whistle on a Dago's peanut-cart in New York. That was all right, that was as it should be; but the other wasn't right; and I felt queer and stiff, as if I couldn't move, and my hair was curling against the flannel lining of my sou'wester, and I thought somebody had dropped a lump of ice down my back.
Now I'm going to tell you something. You've known me for a while, both as a boy and as a man, during several voyages; you're older than I am, and you've always been a good friend to me. So, do you think I'm the kind of guy who hears things that aren't there or sees things that aren't around? No, I don’t think you do. Thanks for that. Anyway, I had just passed the last becket, and I called out to the men to sway away. I was standing on the jaws of the spanker-gaff, with my left hand on the bolt-rope of the trysail, feeling it board-taut, and I wasn’t thinking about anything except how glad I was that the job was done and that we were going to heave her to. It was as dark as a coal pocket, but you could see the streaks on the sea as they passed by, and behind the deckhouse, I could see a ray of light from the binnacle reflecting off the captain's yellow oilskin as he stood at the wheel—or, I might have seen it if I had turned around at that moment.[Pg 111] But I didn’t look around. I heard a man whistling. It was "Nancy Lee," and I could have sworn the guy was right above me in the crosstrees. But somehow, I knew that if anyone had been up there and was able to whistle a tune, there weren’t any living ears sharp enough to hear it on deck at that moment. I heard it clearly, and at the same time, I heard the real whistling of the wind in the weather rigging, sharp and clear like a steam whistle from a hot dog cart in New York. That was fine; that was how it should be. But the other whistling felt off, and I felt strange and stiff, like I couldn’t move, and my hair was curling against the flannel lining of my sou'wester, and I thought someone had dropped a chunk of ice down my back.
I said that the noise of the wind in the rigging was real, as if the other wasn't, for I felt that it wasn't, though I heard it. But it was, all the same; for the captain heard it, too. When I came to relieve the wheel, while the men were clearing up decks, he was swearing. He was a quiet man, and I hadn't heard him swear before, and I don't think I did again, though several queer things happened after that. Perhaps he said all he had to say then; I don't see how he could have said anything more. I used to think nobody could swear like a Dane, except a Neapolitan or a South [Pg 112]American; but when I had heard the Old Man, I changed my mind. There's nothing afloat or ashore that can beat one of your quiet American skippers, if he gets off on that tack. I didn't need to ask him what was the matter, for I knew he had heard "Nancy Lee," as I had, only it affected us differently.
I said the sound of the wind in the rigging was real, while the other noise felt fake even though I could hear it. But it was real, because the captain heard it too. When I took over at the wheel while the crew was cleaning up the decks, he was cursing. He was usually a calm guy, and I hadn't heard him swear before, and I don't think I heard him swear again, even though some strange things happened after that. Maybe he got everything out then; I can't imagine he could have said more. I used to think no one could swear like a Dane, except maybe a Neapolitan or a South [Pg 112]American; but after hearing the Old Man, I changed my mind. There's nothing out there on the water or on land that can beat a quiet American captain when he starts swearing. I didn't need to ask him what was wrong, because I knew he had heard "Nancy Lee," just like I had, but it hit us differently.
He did not give me the wheel, but told me to go forward and get the second bonnet off the staysail, so as to keep her up better. As we tailed on to the sheet when it was done, the man next me knocked his sou'wester off against my shoulder, and his face came so close to me that I could see it in the dark. It must have been very white for me to see it, but I only thought of that afterwards. I don't see how any light could have fallen upon it, but I knew it was one of the Benton boys. I don't know what made me speak to him. "Hullo, Jim! Is that you?" I asked. I don't know why I said Jim, rather than Jack.
He didn’t give me the wheel, but told me to go ahead and take the second bonnet off the staysail to keep her on course better. As we pulled on the sheet when it was done, the guy next to me knocked his sou’wester off against my shoulder, and his face came so close to mine that I could see it in the dark. It must have been very pale for me to see it, but I only thought about that later. I don’t know how any light could have hit it, but I recognized it was one of the Benton guys. I’m not sure why I decided to speak to him. “Hey, Jim! Is that you?” I asked. I don't know why I called him Jim instead of Jack.
"I am Jack," he answered.
"I'm Jack," he replied.
We made all fast, and things were much quieter. "The Old Man heard you whistling 'Nancy Lee,' just now," I said, "and he didn't like it."
We secured everything, and it became much quieter. "The Old Man heard you whistling 'Nancy Lee' just now," I said, "and he didn't appreciate it."
It was as if there were a white light inside his face, and it was ghastly. I know his teeth chattered. But he didn't say anything, and the next minute he was somewhere in the dark trying to find his sou'wester at the foot of the mast.
It felt like there was a white light inside his face, and it was terrifying. I could hear his teeth chattering. But he didn't say anything, and a moment later, he was in the dark looking for his sou'wester at the base of the mast.
When all was quiet, and she was hove to, coming to and falling off her four points as regularly as a pendulum, and the helm lashed a little to the lee, the Old Man turned in again, and I managed to light a pipe in the lee of the deck-house, for there was nothing more to be done till the gale chose to moderate, and the ship was as easy as a baby in its cradle. Of course the cook had gone below, as he might have done an hour earlier; so there were supposed to be four of us in the watch. There was a man at the lookout, and there was a hand by the wheel, though there was no steering to be done, and I was having my pipe in the lee of the deck-house, and the fourth man was somewhere about decks, probably having a smoke, too. I thought some skippers I had sailed with would have called the watch aft, and given them a drink after that job, but it wasn't cold, and I guessed that our Old Man wouldn't be particularly generous in that way. My hands and feet were red-hot, and it would be time enough to get into dry clothes when it was my watch below; so I stayed where I was, and smoked. But by and by, things being so quiet, I began to wonder why nobody moved on deck; just that sort of restless wanting to know where every man is that one sometimes feels in a gale of wind on a dark night. So when I had finished my pipe, I began to move about. I went aft, and there was[Pg 114] a man leaning over the wheel, with his legs apart and both hands hanging down in the light from the binnacle, and his sou'wester over his eyes. Then I went forward, and there was a man at the lookout, with his back against the foremast, getting what shelter he could from the staysail. I knew by his small height that he was not one of the Benton boys. Then I went round by the weather side, and poked about in the dark, for I began to wonder where the other man was. But I couldn't find him, though I searched the decks until I got right aft again. It was certainly one of the Benton boys that was missing, but it wasn't like either of them to go below to change his clothes in such warm weather. The man at the wheel was the other, of course. I spoke to him.
When everything was quiet, and she was drifting, coming to and swaying back and forth like a pendulum, with the helm loosely tied to the leeward side, the Old Man went back to his cabin, and I managed to light a pipe on the sheltered side of the deckhouse, since there was nothing else to be done until the storm calmed down, and the ship was as relaxed as a baby in a crib. Of course, the cook had gone below, just like he might have done an hour earlier; so there were supposed to be four of us on watch. There was a guy at the lookout, and there was someone by the wheel, even though there was no steering needed, while I enjoyed my pipe on the deckhouse's sheltered side, and the fourth guy was somewhere on deck, probably having a smoke too. I thought some captains I had sailed with would have called the watch back and offered them a drink after that shift, but it wasn't cold, and I figured our Old Man wouldn't be particularly generous that way. My hands and feet were burning up, so I figured I could change into dry clothes later when I went below for my watch; for now, I just stayed where I was and smoked. But eventually, with everything so calm, I began to wonder why no one was moving on deck; just that restless feeling of wanting to know where everyone is that one sometimes gets during a storm on a dark night. So when I finished my pipe, I started to walk around. I went to the back, and there was a guy leaning over the wheel, with his legs spread apart and both hands hanging down in the light from the binnacle, his sou’wester pulled low over his eyes. Then I walked forward, and there was a guy at the lookout, with his back against the foremast, trying to get some shelter from the staysail. I could tell by his short stature that he wasn't one of the Benton boys. Then I moved around to the weather side and searched in the dark, since I began to wonder where the other guy was. But I couldn't find him, even after searching the decks until I was back at the stern again. It was definitely one of the Benton boys who was missing, but it wasn't like either of them to go below and change clothes in this warm weather. The guy at the wheel was the other one, of course. I spoke to him.
"Jim, what's become of your brother?"
"Jim, what happened to your brother?"
"I am Jack, sir."
"I'm Jack, sir."
"Well, then, Jack, where's Jim? He's not on deck."
"Okay, Jack, where's Jim? He's not on deck."
"I don't know, sir."
"I don't know, sir."
When I had come up to him he had stood up from force of instinct, and had laid his hands on the spokes as if he were steering, though the wheel was lashed; but he still bent his face down, and it was half hidden by the edge of his sou'wester, while he seemed to be staring at the [Pg 115]compass. He spoke in a very low voice, but that was natural, for the captain had left his door open when he turned in, as it was a warm night in spite of the storm, and there was no fear of shipping any more water now.
When I approached him, he instinctively stood up and placed his hands on the spokes as if he were steering, even though the wheel was secured. He still bent his face down, mostly concealed by the brim of his sou’wester, and it looked like he was staring at the [Pg 115] compass. He spoke in a very quiet voice, which made sense since the captain had left his door open when he turned in; it was a warm night despite the storm, and there was no worry about taking on any more water now.
"What put it into your head to whistle like that, Jack? You've been at sea long enough to know better."
"What made you start whistling like that, Jack? You've been at sea long enough to know better."
He said something, but I couldn't hear the words; it sounded as if he were denying the charge.
He said something, but I couldn't catch the words; it seemed like he was denying the accusation.
"Somebody whistled," I said.
"Someone whistled," I said.
He didn't answer, and then, I don't know why, perhaps because the Old Man hadn't given us a drink, I cut half an inch off the plug of tobacco I had in my oilskin pocket, and gave it to him. He knew my tobacco was good, and he shoved it into his mouth with a word of thanks. I was on the weather side of the wheel.
He didn't respond, and then, I don't know why, maybe because the Old Man hadn't offered us a drink, I cut half an inch off the plug of tobacco I had in my oilskin pocket and handed it to him. He knew my tobacco was quality, and he popped it into his mouth with a thank you. I was on the weather side of the wheel.
"Go forward and see if you can find Jim," I said.
"Go ahead and see if you can find Jim," I said.
He started a little, and then stepped back and passed behind me, and was going along the weather side. Maybe his silence about the whistling had irritated me, and his taking it for granted that because we were hove to and it was a dark night, he might go forward any way he pleased. Anyhow, I stopped him, though I spoke good-naturedly enough.
He jumped a bit, then stepped back and walked behind me, heading toward the side away from the wind. Maybe his silence about the whistling annoyed me, and his assumption that since we were anchored and it was a dark night, he could move around however he liked. Anyway, I stopped him, though I was friendly when I did.
"Pass to leeward, Jack," I said.
"Go to the side away from the wind, Jack," I said.
He didn't answer, but crossed the deck between the binnacle and the deck-house to the lee side. She was only falling off and coming to, and riding the big seas as easily as possible, but the man was not steady on his feet and reeled against the corner of the deck-house and then against the lee rail. I was quite sure he couldn't have had anything to drink, for neither of the brothers were the kind to hide rum from their shipmates, if they had any, and the only spirits that were aboard were locked up in the captain's cabin. I wondered whether he had been hit by the throat-halliard block and was hurt.
He didn't respond, but crossed the deck between the binnacle and the deckhouse to the leeward side. She was just falling off and coming to, handling the big waves as smoothly as possible, but the man was unsteady on his feet and stumbled against the corner of the deckhouse and then against the leeward rail. I was pretty sure he hadn’t had anything to drink, since neither of the brothers were the type to stash rum from their shipmates, if they had any, and the only alcohol on board was locked up in the captain’s cabin. I wondered if he had been struck by the throat-halliard block and was injured.
I left the wheel and went after him, but when I got to the corner of the deck-house I saw that he was on a full run forward, so I went back. I watched the compass for a while, to see how far she went off, and she must have come to again half a dozen times before I heard voices, more than three or four, forward; and then I heard the little West Indies cook's voice, high and shrill above the rest:
I stepped away from the wheel and went after him, but when I reached the corner of the deck-house, I saw he was running full speed forward, so I turned back. I kept an eye on the compass for a bit to track how far off we were, and the ship must have corrected itself half a dozen times before I heard voices—more than just three or four—up front; then I heard the little West Indies cook's voice, high and shrill above the rest:
"Man overboard!"
"Person overboard!"
There wasn't anything to be done, with the ship hove to and the wheel lashed. If there was a man overboard, he must be in the water right alongside. I couldn't imagine how it could have happened,[Pg 117] but I ran forward instinctively. I came upon the cook first, half dressed in his shirt and trousers, just as he had tumbled out of his bunk. He was jumping into the main rigging, evidently hoping to see the man, as if any one could have seen anything on such a night, except the foam-streaks on the black water, and now and then the curl of a breaking sea as it went away to leeward. Several of the men were peering over the rail into the dark. I caught the cook by the foot, and asked who was gone.
There was nothing to be done, with the ship stopped and the wheel secured. If someone had gone overboard, they must be in the water nearby. I couldn't understand how it had happened, [Pg 117] but I ran forward instinctively. I found the cook first, half-dressed in his shirt and pants, just as he had fallen out of his bunk. He was climbing into the main rigging, clearly trying to spot the person, as if anyone could see anything on a night like this, except for the foam streaks on the dark water and occasionally the curl of a breaking wave drifting away. Several of the crew were peering over the rail into the darkness. I grabbed the cook by the foot and asked who was missing.
"It's Jim Benton," he shouted down to me. "He's not aboard this ship!"
"It's Jim Benton," he yelled down to me. "He's not on this ship!"
There was no doubt about that. Jim Benton was gone; and I knew in a flash that he had been taken off by that sea when we were setting the storm trysail. It was nearly half an hour since then; she had run like wild for a few minutes until we got her hove to, and no swimmer that ever swam could have lived as long as that in such a sea. The men knew it as well as I, but still they stared into the foam as if they had any chance of seeing the lost man. I let the cook get into the rigging and joined the men, and asked if they had made a thorough search on board, though I knew they had and that it could not take long, for he wasn't on deck, and there was only the forecastle below.
There was no doubt about it. Jim Benton was gone, and I realized immediately that he had been swept away by the sea while we were setting the storm trysail. It had been nearly half an hour since then; the boat had surged like crazy for a few minutes until we got her under control, and no swimmer could have survived that long in such rough water. The men knew this just as well as I did, but they still stared into the foam as if they had any chance of spotting the lost man. I let the cook climb into the rigging and joined the men, asking if they had done a thorough search on board, even though I knew they had and it wouldn't take long, because he wasn't on deck, and there was only the forecastle below.
"That sea took him over, sir, as sure as you're born," said one of the men close beside me.
"That sea got him, sir, just like you’re alive," said one of the guys next to me.
We had no boat that could have lived in that, sea, of course, and we all knew it. I offered to put one over, and let her drift astern two or three cables' lengths by a line, if the men thought they could haul me aboard again; but none of them would listen to that, and I should probably have been drowned if I had tried it, even with a life-belt; for it was a breaking sea. Besides, they all knew as well as I did that the man could not be right in our wake. I don't know why I spoke again.
We didn’t have a boat that could survive in that sea, and we all knew it. I suggested we let one go and let it drift a couple of cables’ lengths behind us with a line, if the guys thought they could pull me back on board later. But none of them wanted to hear it, and I would probably have drowned if I had tried, even wearing a life jacket, because the waves were crashing. Plus, they all understood just as well as I did that the man couldn’t be in our path. I don’t know why I spoke up again.
"Jack Benton, are you there? Will you go if I will?"
"Jack Benton, are you there? Will you go if I go?"
"No, sir," answered a voice; and that was all.
"No, sir," replied a voice; and that was it.
By that time the Old Man was on deck, and I felt his hand on my shoulder rather roughly, as if he meant to shake me.
By then, the old man was on deck, and I felt his hand on my shoulder a bit roughly, as if he intended to shake me.
"I'd reckoned you had more sense, Mr. Torkeldsen," he said. "God knows I would risk my ship to look for him, if it were any use; but he must have gone half an hour ago."
"I thought you were smarter than that, Mr. Torkeldsen," he said. "Honestly, I’d put my ship on the line to find him if it would help; but he must have left at least half an hour ago."
He was a quiet man, and the men knew he was right, and that they had seen the last of Jim Benton when they were bending the trysail—if anybody had seen him then. The captain went below again, and for some time the men stood around Jack, quite near him, without saying[Pg 119] anything, as sailors do when they are sorry for a man and can't help him; and then the watch below turned in again, and we were three on deck.
He was a quiet man, and the guys knew he was right, realizing they had seen the last of Jim Benton when they were handling the trysail—if anyone had spotted him then. The captain went below again, and for a while, the men stood around Jack, really close to him, without saying anything, like sailors do when they're sorry for someone and can’t do anything to help; then the off-duty watch turned in again, leaving us with three on deck.
Nobody can understand that there can be much consolation in a funeral, unless he has felt that blank feeling there is when a man's gone overboard whom everybody likes. I suppose landsmen think it would be easier if they didn't have to bury their fathers and mothers and friends; but it wouldn't be. Somehow the funeral keeps up the idea of something beyond. You may believe in that something just the same; but a man who has gone in the dark, between two seas, without a cry, seems much more beyond reach than if he were still lying on his bed, and had only just stopped breathing. Perhaps Jim Benton knew that, and wanted to come back to us. I don't know, and I am only telling you what happened, and you may think what you like.
Nobody can really get that there can be a lot of comfort in a funeral unless they've felt that empty feeling when someone everyone cares about has disappeared. I guess people who aren't at sea might think it would be easier if they didn’t have to bury their parents and friends; but it wouldn’t be. Somehow, the funeral reinforces the idea of something beyond this life. You might believe in that something just the same; but a person who has gone into the dark, between two seas, without a sound, feels much more unreachable than if they were still lying in bed, having just stopped breathing. Maybe Jim Benton understood that and wanted to come back to us. I don’t know, and I’m just sharing what happened, so you can think whatever you like.
Jack stuck by the wheel that night until the watch was over. I don't know whether he slept afterwards, but when I came on deck four hours later, there he was again, in his oilskins, with his sou'wester over his eyes, staring into the binnacle. We saw that he would rather stand there, and we left him alone. Perhaps it was some consolation to him to get that ray of light when everything was so dark. It began to rain, too, as it can when a[Pg 120] southerly gale is going to break up, and we got every bucket and tub on board, and set them under the booms to catch the fresh water for washing our clothes. The rain made it very thick, and I went and stood under the lee of the staysail, looking out. I could tell that day was breaking, because the foam was whiter in the dark where the seas crested, and little by little the black rain grew grey and steamy, and I couldn't see the red glare of the port light on the water when she went off and rolled to leeward. The gale had moderated considerably, and in another hour we should be under way again. I was still standing there when Jack Benton came forward. He stood still a few minutes near me. The rain came down in a solid sheet, and I could see his wet beard and a corner of his cheek, too, grey in the dawn. Then he stooped down and began feeling under the anchor for his pipe. We had hardly shipped any water forward, and I suppose he had some way of tucking the pipe in, so that the rain hadn't floated it off. Presently he got on his legs again, and I saw that he had two pipes in his hand. One of them had belonged to his brother, and after looking at them a moment I suppose he recognized his own, for he put it in his mouth, dripping with water. Then he looked at the other fully a minute without moving. When he had made up[Pg 121] his mind, I suppose, he quietly chucked it over the lee rail, without even looking round to see whether I was watching him. I thought it was a pity, for it was a good wooden pipe, with a nickel ferrule, and somebody would have been glad to have it. But I didn't like to make any remark, for he had a right to do what he pleased with what had belonged to his dead brother. He blew the water out of his own pipe, and dried it against his jacket, putting his hand inside his oilskin; he filled it, standing under the lee of the foremast, got a light after wasting two or three matches, and turned the pipe upside down in his teeth, to keep the rain out of the bowl. I don't know why I noticed everything he did, and remember it now; but somehow I felt sorry for him, and I kept wondering whether there was anything I could say that would make him feel better. But I didn't think of anything, and as it was broad daylight I went aft again, for I guessed that the Old Man would turn out before long and order the spanker set and the helm up. But he didn't turn out before seven bells, just as the clouds broke and showed blue sky to leeward—"the Frenchman's barometer," you used to call it.
Jack stayed by the wheel that night until his watch was over. I’m not sure if he slept after that, but when I came on deck four hours later, he was back in his oilskins, with his sou'wester pulled down over his eyes, staring into the binnacle. We could tell he preferred to be there, so we left him alone. Maybe he found some comfort in that little bit of light while everything around was so dark. It started to rain, too, as it often does when a[Pg 120] southerly gale is about to break, so we gathered every bucket and tub on board and positioned them under the booms to catch the fresh water for washing our clothes. The rain came down thick, and I moved to stand under the lee of the staysail, looking out. I could see that day was breaking because the foam looked whiter in the dark where the seas crested, and gradually the black rain turned grey and steamy. I couldn’t spot the red glow of the port light on the water when it went off and rolled to leeward. The gale had calmed down a lot, and in another hour we should be on our way again. I was still standing there when Jack Benton came forward. He paused for a few minutes near me. The rain fell heavily, and I could see his wet beard and a corner of his cheek, which looked grey in the dawn. Then he bent down and started to feel under the anchor for his pipe. We hadn’t taken on much water forward, and I figured he had some way of tucking the pipe in so the rain hadn’t washed it away. Soon he stood up again, holding two pipes. One had belonged to his brother, and after looking at them for a moment, he must have recognized his own, because he put it in his mouth, dripping with water. Then he stared at the other for about a minute without moving. When he made his decision, he quietly tossed it over the lee rail without even checking to see if I was watching. I thought it was a shame because it was a nice wooden pipe with a nickel ferrule, and someone would have been happy to have it. But I didn’t want to say anything since he had the right to do what he wanted with something that belonged to his deceased brother. He blew the water out of his pipe and dried it against his jacket, then tucked it into his oilskin; he filled it while standing under the lee of the foremast, got a light after wasting a couple of matches, and turned the pipe upside down in his mouth to keep the rain out of the bowl. I don’t know why I noticed everything he did and still remember it, but I felt sorry for him and kept wondering if there was anything I could say to make him feel better. But I couldn’t think of anything, and since it was broad daylight, I went aft again, guessing that the Old Man would come out soon and order the spanker set and the helm up. But he didn’t come out before seven bells, just as the clouds broke and revealed blue sky to leeward—“the Frenchman’s barometer,” as you used to call it.
Some people don't seem to be so dead, when they are dead, as others are. Jim Benton was like that. He had been on my watch, and I couldn't get used to the idea that he wasn't[Pg 122] about decks with me. I was always expecting to see him, and his brother was so exactly like him that I often felt as if I did see him and forgot he was dead, and made the mistake of calling Jack by his name; though I tried not to, because I knew it must hurt. If ever Jack had been the cheerful one of the two, as I had always supposed he had been, he had changed very much, for he grew to be more silent than Jim had ever been.
Some people don’t seem as gone when they’ve passed away as others do. Jim Benton was like that. He had been under my watch, and I just couldn't accept that he wasn't[Pg 122] hanging out with me anymore. I always expected to see him, and his brother looked so much like him that I often felt like I did see him and forgot he was gone, making the mistake of calling Jack by his name; though I tried not to, knowing it must hurt. If Jack had ever been the more cheerful one of the two, as I always thought, he had changed a lot, becoming quieter than Jim had ever been.
One fine afternoon I was sitting on the main-hatch, overhauling the clockwork of the taffrail-log, which hadn't been registering very well of late, and I had got the cook to bring me a coffee-cup to hold the small screws as I took them out, and a saucer for the sperm oil I was going to use. I noticed that he didn't go away, but hung round without exactly watching what I was doing, as if he wanted to say something to me. I thought if it were worth much, he would say it anyhow, so I didn't ask him questions; and sure enough he began of his own accord before long. There was nobody on deck but the man at the wheel, and the other man away forward.
One nice afternoon, I was sitting on the main hatch, fixing the mechanism of the taffrail log, which hadn’t been working well lately. I had asked the cook to bring me a coffee cup to hold the small screws as I took them out, and a saucer for the sperm oil I was going to use. I noticed he didn’t leave but lingered around, not quite watching what I was doing, as if he wanted to say something. I figured if it was important, he would speak up, so I didn’t ask him any questions; sure enough, he started talking on his own after a while. There was nobody else on deck except the guy at the wheel and another guy up front.
"Mr. Torkeldsen," the cook began, and then stopped.
"Mr. Torkeldsen," the cook started, and then paused.
I supposed he was going to ask me to let[Pg 123] the watch break out a barrel of flour, or some salt horse.
I thought he was going to ask me to let[Pg 123] the watch break open a barrel of flour or some salt beef.
"Well, doctor?" I asked, as he didn't go on.
"Well, doctor?" I asked, since he didn't continue.
"Well, Mr. Torkeldsen," he answered, "I somehow want to ask you whether you think I am giving satisfaction on this ship, or not?"
"Well, Mr. Torkeldsen," he replied, "I want to know if you think I'm doing a good job on this ship or not?"
"So far as I know, you are, doctor. I haven't heard any complaints from the forecastle, and the captain has said nothing, and I think you know your business, and the cabin-boy is bursting out of his clothes. That looks as if you are giving satisfaction. What makes you think you are not?"
"So far as I know, you are, doctor. I haven't heard any complaints from the crew, and the captain hasn't said anything, and I think you know what you're doing, and the cabin-boy is outgrowing his clothes. That seems like you’re doing a good job. Why do you think you aren’t?"
I am not good at giving you that West Indies talk, and shan't try; but the doctor beat about the bush awhile, and then he told me he thought the men were beginning to play tricks on him, and he didn't like it, and thought he hadn't deserved it, and would like his discharge at our next port. I told him he was a d——d fool, of course, to begin with; and that men were more apt to try a joke with a chap they liked than with anybody they wanted to get rid of; unless it was a bad joke, like flooding his bunk, or filling his boots with tar. But it wasn't that kind of practical joke. The doctor said that the men were trying to frighten him, and he didn't like it, and that they put things in his way[Pg 124] that frightened him. So I told him he was a d——d fool to be frightened, anyway, and I wanted to know what things they put in his way. He gave me a queer answer. He said they were spoons and forks, and odd plates, and a cup now and then, and such things.
I'm not great at giving you that West Indies vibe, and I won't try; but the doctor hesitated for a bit, then told me he thought the crew was starting to mess with him, and he wasn't okay with it. He felt he didn't deserve it and wanted his discharge at the next port. I told him he was a complete fool, of course, to start with; and that guys were more likely to joke around with someone they liked than with someone they wanted to get rid of; unless it was a nasty prank, like flooding his bunk or filling his boots with tar. But it wasn't that kind of prank. The doctor said the crew was trying to scare him, and he didn't like it, and that they put things in his path[Pg 124] that freaked him out. So I told him he was a total fool for being scared, anyway, and I asked him what things they put in his way. He gave me a strange answer. He said they were spoons and forks, and random plates, and a cup every now and then, and stuff like that.
I set down the taffrail-log on the bit of canvas I had put under it, and looked at the doctor. He was uneasy, and his eyes had a sort of hunted look, and his yellow face looked grey. He wasn't trying to make trouble. He was in trouble. So I asked him questions.
I set the taffrail-log down on the piece of canvas I had placed underneath it and looked at the doctor. He seemed uneasy, with a kind of hunted look in his eyes, and his yellow face appeared gray. He wasn't trying to cause problems; he was in trouble. So, I started asking him questions.
He said he could count as well as anybody, and do sums without using his fingers, but that when he couldn't count any other way, he did use his fingers, and it always came out the same. He said that when he and the cabin-boy cleared up after the men's meals there were more things to wash than he had given out. There'd be a fork more, or there'd be a spoon more, and sometimes there'd be a spoon and a fork, and there was always a plate more. It wasn't that he complained of that. Before poor Jim Benton was lost they had a man more to feed, and his gear to wash up after meals, and that was in the contract, the doctor said. It would have been if there were twenty in the ship's company; but he didn't think it was right for the men to play tricks like that. He kept his things[Pg 125] in good order, and he counted them, and he was responsible for them, and it wasn't right that the men should take more things than they needed when his back was turned, and just soil them and mix them up with their own, so as to make him think—
He said he could count just as well as anyone else and do math without using his fingers, but when he couldn’t count any other way, he did use his fingers, and it always added up the same. He mentioned that when he and the cabin-boy cleaned up after the men’s meals, there were always more things to wash than he had handed out. There would be an extra fork, or an extra spoon, and sometimes there would be both a spoon and a fork, and there was always one more plate. It wasn’t that he was complaining about it. Before poor Jim Benton was lost, they had one more man to feed and his gear to clean up after meals, and that was in the contract, the doctor said. It would’ve been the same if there were twenty people in the ship’s crew; but he didn’t think it was fair for the men to mess around like that. He kept his things[Pg 125] organized, counted them, and was responsible for them, and it wasn’t right that the men should take more than they needed when he wasn’t looking, just to dirty them up and mix them with their own, so as to make him think—
He stopped there, and looked at me, and I looked at him. I didn't know what he thought, but I began to guess. I wasn't going to humour any such nonsense as that, so I told him to speak to the men himself, and not come bothering me about such things.
He paused there, glanced at me, and I stared back at him. I couldn’t figure out what he was thinking, but I started to get an idea. I wasn’t going to entertain any of that nonsense, so I told him to talk to the guys himself and not to come bothering me with it.
"Count the plates and forks and spoons before them when they sit down to table, and tell them that's all they'll get; and when they have finished, count the things again, and if the count isn't right, find out who did it. You know it must be one of them. You're not a green hand; you've been going to sea ten or eleven years, and don't want any lessons about how to behave if the boys play a trick on you."
"Count the plates, forks, and spoons before they sit down at the table, and let them know that's all they'll get. After they finish, count everything again, and if the numbers don't add up, figure out who messed up. You know it has to be one of them. You're not new to this; you’ve been at sea for ten or eleven years and don’t need any advice on how to handle it if the boys try to pull a fast one on you."
"If I could catch him," said the cook, "I'd have a knife into him before he could say his prayers."
"If I could get my hands on him," said the cook, "I’d stab him before he even had a chance to say his prayers."
Those West India men are always talking about knives, especially when they are badly frightened. I knew what he meant, and didn't ask him, but went on cleaning the brass cog-wheels of the patent log, and oiling the bearings with a feather.[Pg 126] "Wouldn't it be better to wash it out with boiling water, sir?" asked the cook in an insinuating tone. He knew that he had made a fool of himself, and was anxious to make it right again.
Those West India guys are always going on about knives, especially when they’re really scared. I understood what he was getting at, so I didn’t ask him anything and just kept cleaning the brass cog-wheels of the patent log, using a feather to oil the bearings.[Pg 126] "Wouldn't it be better to wash it out with boiling water, sir?" the cook asked in a sly tone. He realized he had embarrassed himself and wanted to make it right.
I heard no more about the odd platter and gear for two or three days, though I thought about his story a good deal. The doctor evidently believed that Jim Benton had come back, though he didn't quite like to say so. His story had sounded silly enough on a bright afternoon, in fair weather, when the sun was on the water, and every rag was drawing in the breeze, and the sea looked as pleasant and as harmless as a cat that has just eaten a canary. But when it was toward the end of the first watch, and the waning moon had not risen yet, and the water was like still oil, and the jibs hung down flat and helpless like the wings of a dead bird—it wasn't the same then. More than once I have started then and looked round when a fish jumped, expecting to see a face sticking out of the water with its eyes shut. I think we all felt something like that at the time.
I didn't hear anything more about the strange platter and gear for two or three days, but I thought a lot about his story. The doctor clearly believed that Jim Benton had returned, although he didn’t quite want to admit it. His story seemed pretty ridiculous on a sunny afternoon, with the nice weather, the sun sparkling on the water, and every piece of fabric flapping in the breeze, making the sea look as friendly and harmless as a cat that just caught a canary. But later, as the first watch was coming to an end and the waning moon hadn’t come up yet, with the water as still as oil and the jibs drooping down like the wings of a dead bird—it felt different then. More than once, I jumped at the sound of a fish leaping, half-expecting to see a face breaking the surface of the water with its eyes closed. I think we all felt something similar at that time.
One afternoon we were putting a fresh service on the jib-sheet-pennant. It wasn't my watch, but I was standing by, looking on. Just then Jack Benton came up from below, and went to look for his pipe under the anchor. His face was hard and drawn, and his eyes were cold like steel[Pg 127] balls. He hardly ever spoke now, but he did his duty as usual, and nobody had to complain of him, though we were all beginning to wonder how long his grief for his dead brother was going to last like that. I watched him as he crouched down, and ran his hand into the hiding-place for the pipe. When he stood up, he had two pipes in his hand.
One afternoon, we were putting a new service on the jib-sheet-pennant. It wasn't my watch, but I was standing by, just watching. At that moment, Jack Benton came up from below decks and went to search for his pipe under the anchor. His face looked hard and strained, and his eyes were cold like steel balls. He hardly ever spoke now, but he did his job as usual, and nobody had any complaints about him, although we were all starting to wonder how long his grief for his dead brother would continue like this. I watched him as he crouched down, reaching into the spot where he kept the pipe. When he stood up, he had two pipes in his hand.[Pg 127]
Now, I remembered very well seeing him throw one of those pipes away, early in the morning after the gale; and it came to me now, and I didn't suppose he kept a stock of them under the anchor. I caught sight of his face, and it was greenish white, like the foam on shallow water, and he stood a long time looking at the two pipes. He wasn't looking to see which was his, for I wasn't five yards from him as he stood, and one of those pipes had been smoked that day, and was shiny where his hand had rubbed it, and the bone mouthpiece was chafed white where his teeth had bitten it. The other was water-logged. It was swelled and cracking with wet, and it looked to me as if there were a little green weed on it.
Now, I clearly remembered seeing him toss one of those pipes away early in the morning after the storm; it came back to me now, and I didn't think he kept a stash of them under the anchor. I noticed his face, which was a greenish-white, like the foam on shallow water, and he stood there for a long time staring at the two pipes. He wasn't checking to see which one was his, since I was only about five yards away from him, and one of those pipes had been smoked that day, shiny where his hand had rubbed it, and the bone mouthpiece was worn white where his teeth had bitten it. The other one was waterlogged. It was swollen and cracking from being wet, and it looked to me like there was a bit of green weed on it.
Jack Benton turned his head rather stealthily as I looked away, and then he hid the thing in his trousers pocket, and went aft on the lee side, out of sight. The men had got the sheet-pennant on a stretch to serve it, but I ducked under it and stood where I could see what Jack did, just under[Pg 128] the fore-staysail. He couldn't see me, and he was looking about for something. His hand shook as he picked up a bit of half-bent iron rod, about a foot long, that had been used for turning an eye-bolt, and had been left on the main-hatch. His hand shook as he got a piece of marline out of his pocket, and made the water-logged pipe fast to the iron. He didn't mean it to get adrift either, for he took his turns carefully, and hove them taut and then rode them, so that they couldn't slip, and made the end fast with two half-hitches round the iron, and hitched it back on itself. Then he tried it with his hands, and looked up and down the deck furtively, and then quietly dropped the pipe and iron over the rail, so that I didn't even hear the splash. If anybody was playing tricks on board, they weren't meant for the cook.
Jack Benton turned his head quietly as I looked away, then he tucked something into his trouser pocket and moved to the back on the leeward side, out of sight. The guys had the sheet-pennant stretched out to work with, but I ducked under it and stood where I could see what Jack was doing, just beneath[Pg 128] the fore-staysail. He couldn’t see me, and he was searching for something. His hand trembled as he picked up a half-bent iron rod, about a foot long, that had been used for turning an eye-bolt and had been left on the main-hatch. His hand shook again as he pulled out a piece of marline from his pocket and secured the waterlogged pipe to the iron. He was careful not to let it drift away, taking his turns carefully, pulling them tight, then securing them so they couldn’t slip, and finishing off with two half-hitches around the iron, tucking it back on itself. After that, he tested it with his hands, glanced up and down the deck cautiously, and then quietly dropped the pipe and iron over the rail, so quietly that I didn’t even hear a splash. If anyone was up to no good on board, it wasn’t aimed at the cook.
I asked some questions about Jack Benton, and one of the men told me that he was off his feed, and hardly ate anything, and swallowed all the coffee he could lay his hands on, and had used up all his own tobacco and had begun on what his brother had left.
I asked a few questions about Jack Benton, and one of the guys told me that he wasn't eating well, barely touched his food, drank all the coffee he could find, and had used up all his own tobacco and had started on what his brother had left.
"The doctor says it ain't so, sir," said the man, looking at me shyly, as if he didn't expect to be believed; "the doctor says there's as much eaten from breakfast to breakfast as there was before Jim fell overboard, though there's a mouth less[Pg 129] and another that eats nothing. I says it's the cabin-boy that gets it. He's bu'sting."
"The doctor says that's not true, sir," the man said, looking at me shyly, as if he didn't expect me to believe him. "The doctor says there’s just as much food eaten from breakfast to breakfast as there was before Jim fell overboard, even though there’s one less person and another who eats nothing. I think it’s the cabin boy who’s eating it. He’s stuffing himself."
I told him that if the cabin-boy ate more than his share, he must work more than his share, so as to balance things. But the man laughed queerly, and looked at me again.
I told him that if the cabin boy ate more than his fair share, he had to work harder to make up for it. But the guy laughed strangely and looked at me again.
"I only said that, sir, just like that. We all know it ain't so."
"I only said that, sir, just like that. We all know it's not true."
"Well, how is it?"
"How's it going?"
"How is it?" asked the man, half-angry all at once. "I don't know how it is, but there's a hand on board that's getting his whack along with us as regular as the bells."
"How's it going?" the man asked, half-angry all at once. "I don't know what's happening, but there's someone on board who's getting his share just like us, as regularly as the bells."
"Does he use tobacco?" I asked, meaning to laugh it out of him, but as I spoke, I remembered the water-logged pipe.
"Does he smoke?" I asked, intending to joke it out of him, but as I said it, I recalled the waterlogged pipe.
"I guess he's using his own still," the man answered, in a queer, low voice. "Perhaps he'll take some one else's when his is all gone."
"I guess he's using his own still," the man replied in a strange, quiet voice. "Maybe he'll take someone else's when his runs out."
It was about nine o'clock in the morning, I remember, for just then the captain called to me to stand by the chronometer while he took his fore observation. Captain Hackstaff wasn't one of those old skippers who do everything themselves with a pocket watch, and keep the key of the chronometer in their waistcoat pocket, and won't tell the mate how far the dead reckoning is out. He was rather the other way, and I was glad of it,[Pg 130] for he generally let me work the sights he took, and just ran his eye over my figures afterwards. I am bound to say his eye was pretty good, for he would pick out a mistake in a logarithm, or tell me that I had worked the "Equation of Time" with the wrong sign, before it seemed to me that he could have got as far as "half the sum, minus the altitude." He was always right, too, and besides he knew a lot about iron ships and local deviation, and adjusting the compass, and all that sort of thing. I don't know how he came to be in command of a fore-and-aft schooner. He never talked about himself, and maybe he had just been mate on one of those big steel square-riggers, and something had put him back. Perhaps he had been captain, and had got his ship aground, through no particular fault of his, and had to begin over again. Sometimes he talked just like you and me, and sometimes he would speak more like books do, or some of those Boston people I have heard. I don't know. We have all been shipmates now and then with men who have seen better days. Perhaps he had been in the Navy, but what makes me think he couldn't have been, was that he was a thorough good seaman, a regular old windjammer, and understood sail, which those Navy chaps rarely do. Why, you and I have sailed with men before the mast who had their master's [Pg 131]certificates in their pockets—English Board of Trade certificates, too—who could work a double altitude if you would lend them a sextant and give them a look at the chronometer, as well as many a man who commands a big square-rigger. Navigation ain't everything, nor seamanship either. You've got to have it in you, if you mean to get there.
It was around nine in the morning, I remember, because at that moment the captain called me to check the chronometer while he took his fore observation. Captain Hackstaff wasn't one of those old skippers who did everything themselves with a pocket watch, kept the key to the chronometer in their waistcoat pocket, and wouldn't share how far the dead reckoning was off. He was quite the opposite, and I appreciated that, [Pg 130] because he usually let me handle the sights he took and just reviewed my calculations afterward. I have to say his eye was pretty sharp, as he would spot a mistake in a logarithm or tell me that I had calculated the "Equation of Time" with the wrong sign before it seemed to me he could have gotten beyond "half the sum, minus the altitude." He was always right, too, and he knew a lot about iron ships, local deviation, adjusting the compass, and all that. I don't know how he ended up in charge of a fore-and-aft schooner. He never talked about his past, and maybe he had just been the mate on one of those big steel square-riggers, but something had set him back. Maybe he had been a captain and ran his ship aground, through no fault of his own, and had to start over. Sometimes he spoke just like you and me, and other times he sounded more like a book, or like some of those Boston folks I've heard. I really don't know. We've all been shipmates with men who have seen better days. Maybe he had been in the Navy, but what makes me think he couldn't have been was that he was a really good seaman, a classic old windjammer, and understood sails, which those Navy guys rarely do. You and I have sailed with men before the mast who had their master's [Pg 131] certificates in their pockets—English Board of Trade certificates, no less—who could work a double altitude if you lent them a sextant and showed them the chronometer, just as well as many people who command a big square-rigger. Navigation isn't everything, nor is seamanship. You've got to have it in you if you want to get there.
I don't know how our captain heard that there was trouble forward. The cabin-boy may have told him, or the men may have talked outside his door when they relieved the wheel at night. Anyhow, he got wind of it, and when he had got his sight that morning, he had all hands aft, and gave them a lecture. It was just the kind of talk you might have expected from him. He said he hadn't any complaint to make, and that so far as he knew everybody on board was doing his duty, and that he was given to understand that the men got their whack, and were satisfied. He said his ship was never a hard ship, and that he liked quiet, and that was the reason he didn't mean to have any nonsense, and the men might just as well understand that, too. We'd had a great misfortune, he said, and it was nobody's fault. We had lost a man we all liked and respected, and he felt that everybody in the ship ought to be sorry for the man's brother, who was left behind, and that it was rotten lubberly childishness, and unjust and [Pg 132]unmanly and cowardly, to be playing schoolboy tricks with forks and spoons and pipes, and that sort of gear. He said it had got to stop right now, and that was all, and the men might go forward. And so they did.
I don't know how our captain found out there was trouble up front. Maybe the cabin-boy told him, or the crew might have chatted outside his door when they took over the wheel at night. Anyway, he caught wind of it, and when he had his sight that morning, he gathered everyone on deck and gave them a talk. It was just what you would expect from him. He said he didn't have any complaints, and as far as he knew, everyone on board was doing their job, and he was led to believe that the crew was getting their fair share and were happy. He mentioned that his ship was never a hard ship, and that he preferred things to be calm, which was why he wouldn’t tolerate any nonsense, and the crew should understand that too. We had experienced a terrible loss, he said, and it was nobody's fault. We had lost a man we all respected and liked, and he felt that everyone on the ship should be sympathetic towards the man's brother, who was left behind. He said it was childish and unfair, and unmanly and cowardly, to be playing silly games with forks and spoons and pipes and that kind of stuff. He insisted it had to stop right now, and that was that, and the crew could go back. And so they did.
It got worse after that, and the men watched the cook, and the cook watched the men, as if they were trying to catch each other; but I think everybody felt that there was something else. One evening, at supper-time, I was on deck, and Jack came aft to relieve the wheel while the man who was steering got his supper. He hadn't got past the main-hatch on the lee side, when I heard a man running in slippers that slapped on the deck, and there was a sort of a yell and I saw the coloured cook going for Jack, with a carving knife in his hand. I jumped to get between them, and Jack turned round short, and put out his hand. I was too far to reach them, and the cook jabbed out with his knife. But the blade didn't get anywhere near Benton. The cook seemed to be jabbing it into the air again and again, at least four feet short of the mark. Then he dropped his right hand, and I saw the whites of his eyes in the dusk, and he reeled up against the pin-rail, and caught hold of a belaying-pin with his left. I had reached him by that time, and grabbed hold of his knife-hand, and the other, too, for I thought he was[Pg 133] going to use the pin; but Jack Benton was standing staring stupidly at him, as if he didn't understand. But instead, the cook was holding on because he couldn't stand, and his teeth were chattering, and he let go of the knife, and the point stuck into the deck.
It got worse after that, and the men watched the cook, and the cook watched the men, like they were trying to catch each other; but I think everyone sensed there was something more going on. One evening at dinner time, I was on deck, and Jack came back to take over at the wheel while the guy steering got his meal. He hadn't even made it past the main hatch on the leeward side when I heard a man running in slippers that slapped against the deck, and then I heard a sort of yell. I saw the cook charging at Jack, holding a carving knife. I jumped in to get between them, and Jack turned around quickly and reached out his hand. I was too far away to get to them in time, and the cook lunged with his knife. But the blade didn't come close to hitting Benton. It looked like the cook was lunging at the air repeatedly, at least four feet short of his target. Then he dropped his right hand, and I could see the whites of his eyes in the dim light. He leaned against the pin-rail and grabbed hold of a belaying pin with his left hand. By that time, I had reached him and grabbed his knife hand, and the other hand too, thinking he might use the pin; but Jack Benton just stood there, staring blankly at him, as if he didn’t get what was happening. Instead, the cook was clinging on because he couldn't stay upright, his teeth were chattering, and he dropped the knife, which stuck into the deck.
"He's crazy!" said Jack Benton, and that was all he said; and he went aft.
"He's insane!" said Jack Benton, and that was all he said; then he walked to the back.
When he was gone, the cook began to come to, and he spoke quite low, near my ear.
When he left, the cook started to regain consciousness and spoke softly, close to my ear.
"There were two of them! So help me God, there were two of them!"
"There were two of them! I swear to God, there were two of them!"
I don't know why I didn't take him by the collar, and give him a good shaking; but I didn't. I just picked up the knife and gave it to him, and told him to go back to his galley, and not to make a fool of himself. You see, he hadn't struck at Jack, but at something he thought he saw, and I knew what it was, and I felt that same thing, like a lump of ice sliding down my back, that I felt that night when we were bending the trysail.
I don't know why I didn't grab him by the collar and give him a good shake, but I didn't. I just picked up the knife and handed it to him, telling him to go back to his galley and not make a fool of himself. You see, he hadn't gone after Jack, but at something he thought he saw, and I knew exactly what it was; I felt that same cold sensation, like a lump of ice sliding down my back, that I felt that night when we were bending the trysail.
When the men had seen him running aft, they jumped up after him, but they held off when they saw that I had caught him. By and by, the man who had spoken to me before told me what had happened. He was a stocky little chap, with a red head.
When the guys saw him sprinting toward the back, they jumped up to chase him, but they stopped when they saw I had caught him. Eventually, the man who had talked to me earlier explained what had happened. He was a short, stocky guy with a red head.
"Well," he said, "there isn't much to tell. Jack[Pg 134] Benton had been eating his supper with the rest of us. He always sits at the after corner of the table, on the port side. His brother used to sit at the end, next him. The doctor gave him a thundering big piece of pie to finish up with, and when he had finished he didn't stop for a smoke, but went off quick to relieve the wheel. Just as he had gone, the doctor came in from the galley, and when he saw Jack's empty plate he stood stock still staring at it; and we all wondered what was the matter, till we looked at the plate. There were two forks in it, sir, lying side by side. Then the doctor grabbed his knife, and flew up through the hatch like a rocket. The other fork was there all right, Mr. Torkeldsen, for we all saw it and handled it; and we all had our own. That's all I know."
"Well," he said, "there's not much to share. Jack[Pg 134] Benton was having dinner with the rest of us. He always sits at the back corner of the table, on the left side. His brother used to sit at the end, next to him. The doctor gave him a huge piece of pie to finish off with, and when he was done, he didn’t take a moment to smoke but hurried off to take the wheel. Just as he left, the doctor came in from the kitchen, and when he saw Jack's empty plate, he froze, staring at it; we all wondered what was wrong until we looked at the plate. There were two forks in it, sir, lying side by side. Then the doctor grabbed his knife and shot up through the hatch like a rocket. The other fork was definitely there, Mr. Torkeldsen, because we all saw it and touched it; and we all had our own. That’s all I know."
I didn't feel that I wanted to laugh when he told me that story; but I hoped the Old Man wouldn't hear it, for I knew he wouldn't believe it, and no captain that ever sailed likes to have stories like that going round about his ship. It gives her a bad name. But that was all anybody ever saw except the cook, and he isn't the first man who has thought he saw things without having any drink in him. I think, if the doctor had been weak in the head, as he was afterwards, he might have done something foolish again, and there might have been[Pg 135] serious trouble. But he didn't. Only, two or three times, I saw him looking at Jack Benton in a queer, scared way, and once I heard him talking to himself.
I didn’t feel like laughing when he told me that story, but I hoped the Old Man wouldn’t hear it because I knew he wouldn’t believe it, and no captain ever wants stories like that circulating about his ship. It gives her a bad reputation. But that was all anyone ever saw except the cook, and he isn’t the first person who has thought he saw things without having had a drink. I think if the doctor had been a bit out of it, like he was later on, he might have done something reckless again, and there could have been[Pg 135] serious trouble. But he didn’t. Only a couple of times, I noticed him looking at Jack Benton in a strange, worried way, and once I heard him talking to himself.
"There's two of them! So help me God, there's two of them!"
"There's two of them! I swear to God, there's two of them!"
He didn't say anything more about asking for his discharge, but I knew well enough that if he got ashore at the next port we should never see him again, if he had to leave his kit behind him, and his money, too. He was scared all through, for good and all; and he wouldn't be right again till he got another ship. It's no use to talk to a man when he gets like that, any more than it is to send a boy to the main truck when he has lost his nerve.
He didn’t say anything else about wanting to leave the ship, but I knew well enough that if he got off at the next port, we’d never see him again, even if it meant leaving his stuff and money behind. He was completely terrified, and he wouldn’t be okay until he found another ship. There’s no point in talking to a guy when he’s in that state, just like there’s no use in sending a boy up to the main mast when he’s lost his confidence.
Jack Benton never spoke of what happened that evening. I don't know whether he knew about the two forks, or not; or whether he understood what the trouble was. Whatever he knew from the other men, he was evidently living under a hard strain. He was quiet enough, and too quiet; but his face was set, and sometimes it twitched oddly when he was at the wheel, and he would turn his head round sharp to look behind him. A man doesn't do that naturally, unless there's a vessel that he thinks is creeping up on the quarter. When that happens, if the man at the wheel takes a pride in his ship,[Pg 136] he will almost always keep glancing over his shoulder to see whether the other fellow is gaining. But Jack Benton used to look round when there was nothing there; and what is curious, the other men seemed to catch the trick when they were steering. One day the Old Man turned out just as the man at the wheel looked behind him.
Jack Benton never talked about what happened that night. I don't know if he was aware of the two forks or if he understood what the issue was. Whatever he learned from the other guys, it was clear he was going through a lot. He was uncharacteristically quiet, but his face was tense, and sometimes it twitched strangely when he was at the wheel, making him abruptly turn his head to look behind him. A guy doesn't do that naturally unless he thinks a vessel is sneaking up on him. When that happens, if the person at the wheel takes pride in their ship,[Pg 136] they usually keep glancing over their shoulder to see if the other guy is closing in. But Jack Benton would look around even when there was nothing there; and interestingly, the other men seemed to pick up the habit when they were steering. One day, the Old Man stepped out just as the guy at the wheel looked back.
"What are you looking at?" asked the captain.
"What are you looking at?" asked the captain.
"Nothing, sir," answered the man.
"Nothing, sir," the man replied.
"Then keep your eye on the mizzen-royal," said the Old Man, as if he were forgetting that we weren't a square-rigger.
"Then watch the mizzen-royal," said the Old Man, as if he forgot we weren't a square-rigger.
"Ay, ay, sir," said the man.
"Ay, ay, sir," the man said.
The captain told me to go below and work up the latitude from the dead-reckoning, and he went forward of the deck-house and sat down to read, as he often did. When I came up, the man at the wheel was looking round again, and I stood beside him and just asked him quietly what everybody was looking at, for it was getting to be a general habit. He wouldn't say anything at first, but just answered that it was nothing. But when he saw that I didn't seem to care, and just stood there as if there were nothing more to be said, he naturally began to talk.
The captain told me to go below and calculate the latitude using dead reckoning, while he went forward of the deckhouse to read, which he often did. When I returned, the guy at the wheel was looking around again, so I stood beside him and quietly asked what everyone was looking at, since it was becoming a regular thing. He didn't say anything at first, just replied that it was nothing. But when he noticed I didn't seem to care and just stood there as if there was nothing more to discuss, he naturally started to talk.
He said that it wasn't that he saw anything, because there wasn't anything to see except the spanker sheet just straining a little, and working in the[Pg 137] sheaves of the blocks as the schooner rose to the short seas. There wasn't anything to be seen, but it seemed to him that the sheet made a queer noise in the blocks. It was a new manilla sheet; and in dry weather it did make a little noise, something between a creak and a wheeze. I looked at it and looked at the man, and said nothing; and presently he went on. He asked me if I didn't notice anything peculiar about the noise. I listened awhile, and said I didn't notice anything.
He mentioned that it wasn't that he saw anything because there was nothing to see except the sail just straining a bit, and working in the[Pg 137] pulleys as the schooner rose to the choppy waves. There was nothing visible, but it seemed to him that the sail made a strange sound in the pulleys. It was a new manila sail, and in dry weather it did make a little noise, something between a creak and a wheeze. I looked at it and looked at the guy, and said nothing; and after a while he continued. He asked me if I didn't notice anything strange about the sound. I listened for a bit and said I didn't notice anything.
Then he looked rather sheepish, but said he didn't think it could be his own ears, because every man who steered his trick heard the same thing now and then,—sometimes once in a day, sometimes once in a night, sometimes it would go on a whole hour.
Then he looked a bit embarrassed, but said he didn’t believe it could be his own ears, because every guy who worked his shift heard the same thing every now and then—sometimes once during the day, sometimes once at night, and sometimes it would go on for a whole hour.
"It sounds like sawing wood," I said, just like that.
"It sounds like cutting wood," I said, just like that.
"To us it sounds a good deal more like a man whistling 'Nancy Lee.'" He started nervously as he spoke the last words. "There, sir, don't you hear it?" he asked suddenly.
"To us, it sounds a lot more like a guy whistling 'Nancy Lee.'" He jumped a bit as he said the last words. "There, sir, can’t you hear it?" he suddenly asked.
I heard nothing but the creaking of the manilla sheet. It was getting near noon, and fine, clear weather in southern waters,—just the sort of day and the time when you would least expect to feel creepy. But I remembered how I had heard that same tune overhead at night in a gale of wind a [Pg 138]fortnight earlier, and I am not ashamed to say that the same sensation came over me now, and I wished myself well out of the Helen B., and aboard of any old cargo-dragger, with a windmill on deck, and an eighty-nine-forty-eighter for captain, and a fresh leak whenever it breezed up.
I heard nothing but the creaking of the manila sheet. It was getting close to noon, and the weather was fine and clear in southern waters—just the kind of day when you wouldn't expect to feel uneasy. But I remembered hearing that same sound overhead at night during a storm a [Pg 138]fortnight earlier, and I’m not ashamed to admit that same feeling washed over me now. I wished I was far away from the Helen B., aboard any old cargo ship with a windmill on deck, an '89-48' for a captain, and a fresh leak whenever the wind picked up.
Little by little during the next few days life on board that vessel came to be about as unbearable as you can imagine. It wasn't that there was much talk, for I think the men were shy even of speaking to each other freely about what they thought. The whole ship's company grew silent, until one hardly ever heard a voice, except giving an order and the answer. The men didn't sit over their meals when their watch was below, but either turned in at once or sat about on the forecastle, smoking their pipes without saying a word. We were all thinking of the same thing. We all felt as if there were a hand on board, sometimes below, sometimes about decks, sometimes aloft, sometimes on the boom end; taking his full share of what the others got, but doing no work for it. We didn't only feel it, we knew it. He took up no room, he cast no shadow, and we never heard his footfall on deck; but he took his whack with the rest as regular as the bells, and—he whistled "Nancy Lee." It was like the worst sort of dream you can imagine; and I[Pg 139] daresay a good many of us tried to believe it was nothing else sometimes, when we stood looking over the weather rail in fine weather with the breeze in our faces; but if we happened to turn round and look into each other's eyes, we knew it was something worse than any dream could be; and we would turn away from each other with a queer, sick feeling, wishing that we could just for once see somebody who didn't know what we knew.
Little by little, over the next few days, life on that ship became as unbearable as you can imagine. It wasn’t that there was much talking; the men seemed too shy to speak freely with each other about their thoughts. The whole crew grew quiet, and you rarely heard a voice, except for orders and replies. The men didn’t linger over their meals when off-duty; they either went to sleep immediately or sat on the forecastle, smoking their pipes in silence. We were all focused on the same thing. It felt like there was a presence onboard, sometimes below, sometimes on deck, sometimes up high, sometimes at the boom end; it took its share along with us but did no work. We not only felt it, we knew it. It didn’t take up space, it cast no shadow, and we never heard its footsteps on deck; yet it shared in our tasks as regularly as the bells, and— it whistled "Nancy Lee." It was like the worst kind of nightmare imaginable; and I[Pg 139] bet many of us tried to convince ourselves it was nothing more at times, especially when we stood looking over the weather rail in nice weather with the breeze on our faces; but if we happened to turn and meet each other’s eyes, we knew it was something worse than any nightmare; we would look away with a strange, sick feeling, wishing we could just once see someone who didn’t know what we knew.
There's not much more to tell about the Helen B. Jackson, so far as I am concerned. We were more like a shipload of lunatics than anything else when we ran in under Morro Castle and anchored in Havana. The cook had brain fever, and was raving mad in his delirium; and the rest of the men weren't far from the same state. The last three or four days had been awful, and we had been as near to having a mutiny on board as I ever want to be. The men didn't want to hurt anybody; but they wanted to get away out of that ship, if they had to swim for it; to get away from that whistling, from that dead shipmate who had come back, and who filled the ship with his unseen self! I know that if the Old Man and I hadn't kept a sharp lookout, the men would have put a boat over quietly on one of those calm nights, and pulled away, leaving the captain and[Pg 140] me and the mad cook to work the schooner into harbour. We should have done it somehow, of course, for we hadn't far to run if we could get a breeze; and once or twice I found myself wishing that the crew were really gone, for the awful state of fright in which they lived was beginning to work on me too. You see I partly believed and partly didn't; but, anyhow, I didn't mean to let the thing get the better of me, whatever it was. I turned crusty, too, and kept the men at work on all sorts of jobs, and drove them to it until they wished I was overboard, too. It wasn't that the Old Man and I were trying to drive them to desert without their pay, as I am sorry to say a good many skippers and mates do, even now. Captain Hackstaff was as straight as a string, and I didn't mean those poor fellows should be cheated out of a single cent; and I didn't blame them for wanting to leave the ship, but it seemed to me that the only chance to keep everybody sane through those last days was to work the men till they dropped. When they were dead tired they slept a little, and forgot the thing until they had to tumble up on deck and face it again. That was a good many years ago. Do you believe that I can't hear "Nancy Lee" now, without feeling cold down my back? For I heard it, too, now and then, after the man had explained why he[Pg 141] was always looking over his shoulder. Perhaps it was imagination. I don't know. When I look back it seems to me that I only remember a long fight against something I couldn't see, against an appalling presence, against something worse than cholera or Yellow Jack or the plague—and, goodness knows, the mildest of them is bad enough when it breaks out at sea. The men got as white as chalk, and wouldn't go about decks alone at night, no matter what I said to them. With the cook raving in his bunk, the forecastle would have been a perfect hell, and there wasn't a spare cabin on board. There never is on a fore-and-after. So I put him into mine, and he was more quiet there, and at last fell into a sort of stupor as if he were going to die. I don't know what became of him, for we put him ashore alive and left him in the hospital.
There's not much more to say about the Helen B. Jackson, as far as I'm concerned. We felt more like a shipfull of crazies than anything else when we arrived under Morro Castle and anchored in Havana. The cook had a fever and was out of his mind in his delirium; the rest of the crew wasn’t far behind him. The last few days had been terrible, and we were as close to a mutiny as I ever want to be. The crew didn’t want to hurt anyone; they just wanted to get off that ship, even if it meant swimming away; to escape that whistling, from that dead shipmate who had returned, filling the ship with his invisible presence! I know that if the Old Man and I hadn’t kept a close eye on things, the crew would have quietly lowered a boat on one of those calm nights and rowed away, leaving the captain and[Pg 140] me and the mad cook to navigate the schooner into harbor. We would have figured it out one way or another, of course, since we didn't have far to go if we could catch a breeze; and a few times I found myself wishing the crew had really left, because their intense fear was starting to get to me too. You see, I partly believed it and partly didn’t; but anyway, I wasn’t going to let it get the best of me, whatever it was. I got grumpy too, and kept pushing the crew to work on all sorts of tasks, driving them until they wished I was overboard as well. It wasn’t that the Old Man and I were trying to push them to desert without their pay, as I’m sorry to say a lot of captains and mates do, even now. Captain Hackstaff was as honest as they come, and I wasn’t going to let those poor guys be cheated out of a single cent; I didn’t blame them for wanting to leave the ship, but I thought the only way to keep everyone sane during those last days was to work the crew until they dropped. When they were completely exhausted, they’d sleep a little and forget about it until they had to jump up on deck and face it again. That was many years ago. Do you believe that I can't hear "Nancy Lee" now without feeling a chill down my spine? Because I heard it too, now and then, after the man explained why he[Pg 141] was always looking over his shoulder. Maybe it was just my imagination. I don’t know. Looking back, it seems like I only remember a long struggle against something I couldn’t see, against a terrifying presence, against something worse than cholera or Yellow Jack or the plague—and God knows, the mildest of them is bad enough when it breaks out at sea. The men turned as pale as ghosts and wouldn’t go on deck alone at night, no matter what I told them. With the cook raving in his bunk, the forecastle would have felt like hell, and there wasn’t a spare cabin on board. There never is on a fore-and-aft rig. So I moved him into mine, and he settled down a bit, eventually slipping into a sort of stupor like he was about to die. I don't know what happened to him, because we got him ashore alive and left him in the hospital.
The men came aft in a body, quiet enough, and asked the captain if he wouldn't pay them off, and let them go ashore. Some men wouldn't have done it, for they had shipped for the voyage, and had signed articles. But the captain knew that when sailors get an idea into their heads, they're no better than children; and if he forced them to stay aboard, he wouldn't get much work out of them, and couldn't rely on them in a difficulty. So he paid them off, and let them go.[Pg 142] When they had gone forward to get their kits, he asked me whether I wanted to go, too, and for a minute I had a sort of weak feeling that I might just as well. But I didn't, and he was a good friend to me afterwards. Perhaps he was grateful to me for sticking to him.
The guys came to the back of the ship, pretty quiet, and asked the captain if he would pay them off and let them go ashore. Some captains might have refused, considering these men had signed up for the whole trip. But the captain understood that once sailors had something in their heads, they acted like kids; if he forced them to stay on board, he wouldn’t get much work out of them and couldn’t count on them in tough situations. So, he paid them off and let them leave.[Pg 142] When they went forward to grab their stuff, he asked me if I wanted to leave too, and for a moment, I felt a bit tempted to go. But I decided against it, and he ended up being a good friend to me later on. Maybe he appreciated that I stayed loyal to him.
When the men went off he didn't come on deck; but it was my duty to stand by while they left the ship. They owed me a grudge for making them work during the last few days, and most of them dropped into the boat without so much as a word or a look, as sailors will. Jack Benton was the last to go over the side, and he stood still a minute and looked at me, and his white face twitched. I thought he wanted to say something.
When the guys left, he didn’t come up on deck; it was my job to stay put while they left the ship. They were mad at me for making them work hard these past few days, and most of them got into the boat without saying a word or even looking at me, like sailors do. Jack Benton was the last one to leave, and he paused for a moment and stared at me, his pale face twitching. I felt like he wanted to say something.
"Take care of yourself, Jack," said I. "So long!"
"Take care of yourself, Jack," I said. "See you later!"
It seemed as if he couldn't speak for two or three seconds; then his words came thick.
It felt like he couldn’t say anything for two or three seconds; then his words started to flow quickly.
"It wasn't my fault, Mr. Torkeldsen. I swear it wasn't my fault!"
"It wasn't my fault, Mr. Torkeldsen. I promise it wasn't my fault!"
That was all; and he dropped over the side, leaving me to wonder what he meant.
That was it; and he dropped over the side, leaving me to wonder what he meant.
The captain and I stayed on board, and the ship-chandler got a West India boy to cook for us.
The captain and I stayed on the ship, and the supply guy hired a Caribbean guy to cook for us.
That evening, before turning in, we were standing by the rail having a quiet smoke, watching the lights of the city, a quarter of a mile off, reflected in the still water. There was music of some sort[Pg 143] ashore, in a sailors' dance-house, I daresay; and I had no doubt that most of the men who had left the ship were there, and already full of jiggy-jiggy. The music played a lot of sailors' tunes that ran into each other, and we could hear the men's voices in the chorus now and then. One followed another, and then it was "Nancy Lee," loud and clear, and the men singing "Yo-ho, heave-ho!"
That evening, before going to bed, we were standing by the rail having a quiet smoke, watching the city lights, a quarter of a mile away, reflected in the calm water. There was some kind of music[Pg 143] coming from the shore, probably from a sailors' dance hall; and I was sure that most of the guys who had left the ship were there, already having a good time. The music was a mix of sailors' tunes that flowed into each other, and we could hear the men's voices joining in the chorus every now and then. One song followed another, and then it was "Nancy Lee," loud and clear, with the men singing "Yo-ho, heave-ho!"
"I have no ear for music," said Captain Hackstaff, "but it appears to me that's the tune that man was whistling the night we lost the man overboard. I don't know why it has stuck in my head, and of course it's all nonsense; but it seems to me that I have heard it all the rest of the trip."
"I can’t carry a tune," said Captain Hackstaff, "but it sounds to me like that's the melody that guy was whistling the night we lost the man overboard. I don’t know why it’s stuck in my mind, and I know it's silly; but it feels like I’ve been hearing it the whole trip."
I didn't say anything to that, but I wondered just how much the Old Man had understood. Then we turned in, and I slept ten hours without opening my eyes.
I didn’t say anything in response, but I was curious about how much the Old Man had understood. Then we went to bed, and I slept for ten hours without waking up.
I stuck to the Helen B. Jackson after that as long as I could stand a fore-and-after; but that night when we lay in Havana was the last time I ever heard "Nancy Lee" on board of her. The spare hand had gone ashore with the rest, and he never came back, and he took his tune with him; but all those things are just as clear in my memory as if they had happened yesterday.
I stayed on the Helen B. Jackson for as long as I could handle the changes; but that night we spent in Havana was the last time I ever heard "Nancy Lee" on board. The extra hand went ashore with everyone else, and he never returned, taking his song with him; but all of those memories are just as vivid in my mind as if they happened yesterday.
After that I was in deep water for a year or more, and after I came home I got my certificate,[Pg 144] and what with having friends and having saved a little money, and having had a small legacy from an uncle in Norway, I got the command of a coastwise vessel, with a small share in her. I was at home three weeks before going to sea, and Jack Benton saw my name in the local papers, and wrote to me.
After that, I was in a tough spot for about a year, and when I finally got back home, I received my certificate,[Pg 144]. Thanks to having some friends, saving up a bit of money, and a small inheritance from an uncle in Norway, I managed to get the captaincy of a coastal ship, along with a small stake in her. I was home for three weeks before heading out to sea, and Jack Benton saw my name in the local newspapers and wrote to me.
He said that he had left the sea, and was trying farming, and he was going to be married, and he asked if I wouldn't come over for that, for it wasn't more than forty minutes by train; and he and Mamie would be proud to have me at the wedding. I remembered how I had heard one brother ask the other whether Mamie knew. That meant, whether she knew he wanted to marry her, I suppose. She had taken her time about it, for it was pretty nearly three years then since we had lost Jim Benton overboard.
He said he had left the sea and was trying out farming, and he was going to get married. He asked if I would come over for that since it was only about a forty-minute train ride. He and Mamie would be thrilled to have me at the wedding. I remembered hearing one brother ask the other if Mamie knew. That meant whether she knew he wanted to marry her, I guess. She had taken her time with it because it had been almost three years since we lost Jim Benton overboard.
I had nothing particular to do while we were getting ready for sea; nothing to prevent me from going over for a day, I mean; and I thought I'd like to see Jack Benton, and have a look at the girl he was going to marry. I wondered whether he had grown cheerful again, and had got rid of that drawn look he had when he told me it wasn't his fault. How could it have been his fault, anyhow? So I wrote to Jack that I would come down and see him married; and when the day came I took[Pg 145] the train and got there about ten o'clock in the morning. I wish I hadn't. Jack met me at the station, and he told me that the wedding was to be late in the afternoon, and that they weren't going off on any silly wedding trip, he and Mamie, but were just going to walk home from her mother's house to his cottage. That was good enough for him, he said. I looked at him hard for a minute after we met. When we had parted I had a sort of idea that he might take to drink, but he hadn't. He looked very respectable and well-to-do in his black coat and high city collar; but he was thinner and bonier than when I had known him, and there were lines in his face, and I thought his eyes had a queer look in them, half shifty, half scared. He needn't have been afraid of me, for I didn't mean to talk to his bride about the Helen B. Jackson.
I had nothing specific to do while we were getting ready to set sail; nothing stopping me from visiting for a day, and I thought it would be nice to see Jack Benton and check out the girl he was going to marry. I was curious if he had become cheerful again and if he had shaken off that worn look he had when he told me it wasn't his fault. How could it have been his fault, anyway? So I wrote to Jack saying I would come down to see him get married; and when the day arrived, I took[Pg 145] the train and got there around ten in the morning. I wish I hadn't. Jack met me at the station and told me the wedding was set for late in the afternoon, and that he and Mamie weren’t going on any silly honeymoon trip but were just planning to walk home from her mom's house to his cottage. That was good enough for him, he said. I looked closely at him for a minute after we met. When we had last said goodbye, I had a feeling he might start drinking, but he hadn’t. He looked quite respectable and well-off in his black coat and high-collared shirt; but he was thinner and bonier than I remembered, and there were lines on his face. I thought his eyes had a strange look, half shifty and half scared. He didn’t need to be afraid of me, since I didn’t plan to mention the Helen B. Jackson.
He took me to his cottage first, and I could see that he was proud of it. It wasn't above a cable's length from high-water mark, but the tide was running out, and there was already a broad stretch of hard, wet sand on the other side of the beach road. Jack's bit of land ran back behind the cottage about a quarter of a mile, and he said that some of the trees we saw were his. The fences were neat and well kept, and there was a fair-sized barn a little way from the cottage, and I saw some[Pg 146] nice-looking cattle in the meadows; but it didn't look to me to be much of a farm, and I thought that before long Jack would have to leave his wife to take care of it, and go to sea again. But I said it was a nice farm, so as to seem pleasant, and as I don't know much about these things, I daresay it was, all the same. I never saw it but that once. Jack told me that he and his brother had been born in the cottage, and that when their father and mother died they leased the land to Mamie's father, but had kept the cottage to live in when they came home from sea for a spell. It was as neat a little place as you would care to see: the floors as clean as the decks of a yacht, and the paint as fresh as a man-o'-war. Jack always was a good painter. There was a nice parlour on the ground floor, and Jack had papered it and had hung the walls with photographs of ships and foreign ports, and with things he had brought home from his voyages: a boomerang, a South Sea club, Japanese straw hats, and a Gibraltar fan with a bull-fight on it, and all that sort of gear. It looked to me as if Miss Mamie had taken a hand in arranging it. There was a brand-new polished iron Franklin stove set into the old fireplace, and a red table-cloth from Alexandria embroidered with those outlandish Egyptian letters. It was all as bright and homelike as possible, and he showed me everything, and was proud of [Pg 147]everything, and I liked him the better for it. But I wished that his voice would sound more cheerful, as it did when we first sailed in the Helen B., and that the drawn look would go out of his face for a minute. Jack showed me everything, and took me upstairs, and it was all the same: bright and fresh and ready for the bride. But on the upper landing there was a door that Jack didn't open. When we came out of the bedroom I noticed that it was ajar, and Jack shut it quickly and turned the key.
He first took me to his cottage, and I could see he was proud of it. It wasn't far from the high-water mark, but the tide was going out, and there was already a wide stretch of hard, wet sand on the other side of the beach road. Jack's land extended back behind the cottage about a quarter of a mile, and he mentioned that some of the trees we saw belonged to him. The fences were neat and well-maintained, and there was a decent-sized barn a bit away from the cottage. I spotted some nice-looking cattle in the meadows, but it didn’t seem like much of a farm to me. I thought Jack would soon have to leave his wife to take care of it and go back to sea. Still, I complimented it as a nice farm to be polite, and since I don’t know much about these things, I suppose it could be nice all the same. I only saw it that one time. Jack told me he and his brother were born in the cottage, and when their parents passed away, they leased the land to Mamie’s father but kept the cottage to stay in when they came home from sea for a while. It was as tidy a little place as you could imagine: the floors were as clean as a yacht's decks, and the paint was as fresh as a battleship's. Jack was always a good painter. There was a nice living room on the ground floor; Jack had wallpapered it and decorated the walls with photographs of ships and foreign ports, along with items he had brought back from his travels: a boomerang, a South Sea club, Japanese straw hats, and a Gibraltar fan with a bullfight scene—all sorts of things. It seemed to me like Miss Mamie had helped with the decoration. There was a brand-new polished iron Franklin stove in the old fireplace, and a red tablecloth from Alexandria embroidered with those strange Egyptian letters. It all looked as bright and homey as possible, and he showed me everything, clearly proud of it all, which made me like him even more. But I wished his voice sounded cheerier, like it did when we first sailed on the Helen B., and that the strained look would disappear from his face for a moment. Jack showed me everything and took me upstairs, and it was the same: bright, fresh, and ready for the bride. However, on the upper landing, there was a door Jack didn’t open. When we came out of the bedroom, I noticed it was slightly open, and Jack quickly shut it and locked it.
"That lock's no good," he said, half to himself. "The door is always open."
"That lock is useless," he said, mostly to himself. "The door is always open."
I didn't pay much attention to what he said, but as we went down the short stairs, freshly painted and varnished so that I was almost afraid to step on them, he spoke again.
I didn’t really pay much attention to what he said, but as we went down the short stairs, freshly painted and varnished to the point where I was almost scared to step on them, he spoke again.
"That was his room, sir. I have made a sort of store-room of it."
"That was his room, sir. I've turned it into a kind of storage room."
"You may be wanting it in a year or so," I said, wishing to be pleasant.
"You might want it in a year or so," I said, trying to be nice.
"I guess we won't use his room for that," Jack answered in a low voice.
"I guess we won't use his room for that," Jack replied quietly.
Then he offered me a cigar from a fresh box in the parlour, and he took one, and we lit them, and went out; and as we opened the front door there was Mamie Brewster standing in the path as if she were waiting for us. She was a fine-looking girl, and I didn't wonder that Jack had[Pg 148] been willing to wait three years for her. I could see that she hadn't been brought up on steam-heat and cold storage, but had grown into a woman by the sea-shore. She had brown eyes, and fine brown hair, and a good figure.
Then he offered me a cigar from a new box in the living room, and he took one too. We lit them and stepped outside; as we opened the front door, there was Mamie Brewster standing on the path as if she was waiting for us. She was a beautiful girl, and I could see why Jack had[Pg 148] been willing to wait three years for her. It was obvious she hadn’t been raised in a stuffy environment but had grown into a woman by the seaside. She had brown eyes, lovely brown hair, and a nice figure.
"This is Captain Torkeldsen," said Jack. "This is Miss Brewster, captain; and she is glad to see you."
"This is Captain Torkeldsen," Jack said. "This is Miss Brewster, captain, and she’s happy to see you."
"Well, I am," said Miss Mamie, "for Jack has often talked to us about you, captain."
"Well, I am," said Miss Mamie, "because Jack has often mentioned you to us, captain."
She put out her hand, and took mine and shook it heartily, and I suppose I said something, but I know I didn't say much.
She reached out her hand, took mine, and shook it vigorously. I think I said something, but I know I didn't say much.
The front door of the cottage looked toward the sea, and there was a straight path leading to the gate on the beach road. There was another path from the steps of the cottage that turned to the right, broad enough for two people to walk easily, and it led straight across the fields through gates to a larger house about a quarter of a mile away. That was where Mamie's mother lived, and the wedding was to be there. Jack asked me whether I would like to look round the farm before dinner, but I told him I didn't know much about farms. Then he said he just wanted to look round himself a bit, as he mightn't have much more chance that day; and he smiled, and Mamie laughed.
The front door of the cottage faced the sea, with a straight path leading to the gate on the beach road. There was another path from the steps of the cottage that turned to the right, wide enough for two people to walk side by side, and it went straight across the fields through gates to a bigger house about a quarter of a mile away. That’s where Mamie's mom lived, and the wedding was set to take place there. Jack asked me if I wanted to check out the farm before dinner, but I told him I didn’t really know much about farms. Then he said he just wanted to explore a little himself, as he might not get another chance that day; he smiled, and Mamie laughed.
"Show the captain the way to the house, Mamie," he said. "I'll be along in a minute."
"Show the captain to the house, Mamie," he said. "I’ll be right there."
So Mamie and I began to walk along the path, and Jack went up toward the barn.
So Mamie and I started walking down the path, while Jack headed up toward the barn.
"It was sweet of you to come, captain," Miss Mamie began, "for I have always wanted to see you."
"It was nice of you to come, Captain," Miss Mamie started, "because I've always wanted to meet you."
"Yes," I said, expecting something more.
"Yeah," I said, expecting something more.
"You see, I always knew them both," she went on. "They used to take me out in a dory to catch codfish when I was a little girl, and I liked them both," she added thoughtfully. "Jack doesn't care to talk about his brother now. That's natural. But you won't mind telling me how it happened, will you? I should so much like to know."
"You see, I always knew them both," she continued. "They used to take me out in a small boat to catch cod when I was a little girl, and I liked them both," she said, thinking back. "Jack doesn't want to talk about his brother now. That's understandable. But you won't mind telling me how it happened, will you? I would really like to know."
Well, I told her about the voyage and what happened that night when we fell in with a gale of wind, and that it hadn't been anybody's fault, for I wasn't going to admit that it was my old captain's, if it was. But I didn't tell her anything about what happened afterwards. As she didn't speak, I just went on talking about the two brothers, and how like they had been, and how when poor Jim was drowned and Jack was left, I took Jack for him. I told her that none of us had ever been sure which was which.
Well, I told her about the trip and what happened that night when we ran into a storm, and that it wasn't anyone's fault, since I wasn't about to admit it was my old captain's fault, even if it was. But I didn't say anything about what happened after that. Since she didn't talk, I kept going on about the two brothers, how much they looked alike, and how when poor Jim drowned and Jack was left, I ended up thinking of Jack as Jim. I told her that none of us had ever been really sure which was which.
"I wasn't always sure myself," she said, "unless they were together. Leastways, not for a day[Pg 150] or two after they came home from sea. And now it seems to me that Jack is more like poor Jim, as I remember him, than he ever was, for Jim was always more quiet, as if he were thinking."
"I wasn't always sure about it myself," she said, "unless they were together. At least, not for a day[Pg 150] or two after they got back from sea. And now it seems to me that Jack is more like poor Jim, as I remember him, than he ever was before, because Jim was always quieter, as if he were deep in thought."
I told her I thought so, too. We passed the gate and went into the next field, walking side by side. Then she turned her head to look for Jack, but he wasn't in sight. I shan't forget what she said next.
I told her I thought the same thing. We walked past the gate and into the next field, side by side. Then she turned her head to look for Jack, but he was nowhere to be seen. I won’t forget what she said next.
"Are you sure now?" she asked.
"Are you really sure about this?" she asked.
I stood stock-still, and she went on a step, and then turned and looked at me. We must have looked at each other while you could count five or six.
I stood completely still, and she took a step forward, then turned and looked at me. We must have stared at each other for about five or six seconds.
"I know it's silly," she went on, "it's silly, and it's awful, too, and I have got no right to think it, but sometimes I can't help it. You see it was always Jack I meant to marry."
"I know it sounds ridiculous," she continued, "it's ridiculous, and it's terrible, too, and I have no right to feel this way, but sometimes I just can't help it. You see, I always intended to marry Jack."
"Yes," I said stupidly, "I suppose so."
"Yeah," I said dumbly, "I guess so."
She waited a minute, and began walking on slowly before she went on again.
She waited a minute, then started walking slowly before she continued on.
"I am talking to you as if you were an old friend, captain, and I have only known you five minutes. It was Jack I meant to marry, but now he is so like the other one."
"I’m talking to you like you’re an old friend, captain, even though I’ve only known you for five minutes. I was supposed to marry Jack, but now he’s so much like the other one."
When a woman gets a wrong idea into her head, there is only one way to make her tired of it, and that is to agree with her. That's what I did, and[Pg 151] she went on talking the same way for a little while, and I kept on agreeing and agreeing until she turned round on me.
When a woman gets a misunderstanding stuck in her head, the only way to make her lose interest is to agree with her. That's what I did, and[Pg 151] she kept talking that way for a bit, and I just kept agreeing until she turned on me.
"You know you don't believe what you say," she said, and laughed. "You know that Jack is Jack, right enough; and it's Jack I am going to marry."
"You know you don't really believe what you're saying," she said, laughing. "You know that Jack is definitely Jack; and it's Jack I'm going to marry."
Of course I said so, for I didn't care whether she thought me a weak creature or not. I wasn't going to say a word that could interfere with her happiness, and I didn't intend to go back on Jack Benton; but I remembered what he had said when he left the ship in Havana: that it wasn't his fault.
Of course I said that because I didn't care if she thought I was weak or not. I wasn’t going to say anything that could ruin her happiness, and I wasn’t going to go back on Jack Benton; but I remembered what he had said when he left the ship in Havana: that it wasn't his fault.
"All the same," Miss Mamie went on, as a woman will, without realising what she was saying, "all the same, I wish I had seen it happen. Then I should know."
"Still," Miss Mamie continued, as women often do, not fully aware of what she was saying, "still, I wish I had seen it happen. Then I would know."
Next minute she knew that she didn't mean that, and was afraid that I would think her heartless, and began to explain that she would really rather have died herself than have seen poor Jim go overboard. Women haven't got much sense, anyhow. All the same, I wondered how she could marry Jack if she had a doubt that he might be Jim after all. I suppose she had really got used to him since he had given up the sea and had stayed ashore, and she cared for him.
Next minute, she realized she didn’t actually mean that and was worried I would think she was heartless. She started explaining that she would have preferred to die herself than to see poor Jim go overboard. Women don’t seem to have much sense, anyway. Still, I couldn't help but wonder how she could marry Jack if she had any doubt that he might be Jim after all. I guess she had really gotten used to him since he gave up the sea and stayed on land, and she cared for him.
Before long we heard Jack coming up behind us, for we had walked very slowly to wait for him.
Before long, we heard Jack approaching from behind us, since we had been walking slowly to wait for him.
"Promise not to tell anybody what I said, captain," said Mamie, as girls do as soon as they have told their secrets.
"Promise you won't tell anyone what I said, captain," Mamie said, just like girls do as soon as they share their secrets.
Anyhow, I know I never did tell any one but you. This is the first time I have talked of all that, the first time since I took the train from that place. I am not going to tell you all about the day. Miss Mamie introduced me to her mother, who was a quiet, hard-faced old New England farmer's widow, and to her cousins and relations; and there were plenty of them, too, at dinner, and there was the parson besides. He was what they call a Hard-shell Baptist in those parts, with a long, shaven upper lip and a whacking appetite, and a sort of superior look, as if he didn't expect to see many of us hereafter—the way a New York pilot looks round, and orders things about when he boards an Italian cargo-dragger, as if the ship weren't up to much anyway, though it was his business to see that she didn't get aground. That's the way a good many parsons look, I think. He said grace as if he were ordering the men to sheet home the topgallant-sail and get the helm up. After dinner we went out on the piazza, for it was warm autumn weather; and[Pg 153] the young folks went off in pairs along the beach road, and the tide had turned and was beginning to come in. The morning had been clear and fine, but by four o'clock it began to look like a fog, and the damp came up out of the sea and settled on everything. Jack said he'd go down to his cottage and have a last look, for the wedding was to be at five o'clock, or soon after, and he wanted to light the lights, so as to have things look cheerful.
Anyway, I know I never told anyone but you. This is the first time I’ve talked about all that, the first time since I took the train from that place. I’m not going to go into detail about the day. Miss Mamie introduced me to her mother, who was a quiet, tough-looking old New England farmer’s widow, and to her cousins and relatives; there were plenty of them at dinner, and the parson was there too. He was what they call a Hard-shell Baptist in those parts, with a long, clean-shaven upper lip and a huge appetite, wearing a kind of superior expression, as if he didn’t expect to see many of us in the afterlife—like a New York pilot looks around, ordering things when he boards an Italian cargo ship, acting as if the ship wasn’t worth much anyway, even though it was his job to ensure it didn’t run aground. That’s how a lot of parsons look, in my opinion. He said grace like he was telling the crew to hoist the topgallant sail and get the helm ready. After dinner, we went out on the porch since it was warm autumn weather; the young folks wandered off in pairs along the beach road, and the tide had turned and was starting to come in. The morning had been clear and nice, but by four o'clock, it started to look foggy, and the dampness rose from the sea and settled on everything. Jack said he’d go down to his cottage to have one last look, since the wedding was to be at five o'clock or soon after, and he wanted to turn on the lights to make things look cheerful.
"I will just take a last look," he said again, as we reached the house. We went in, and he offered me another cigar, and I lit it and sat down in the parlour. I could hear him moving about, first in the kitchen and then upstairs, and then I heard him in the kitchen again; and then before I knew anything I heard somebody moving upstairs again. I knew he couldn't have got up those stairs as quick as that. He came into the parlour, and he took a cigar himself, and while he was lighting it I heard those steps again overhead. His hand shook, and he dropped the match.
"I'll just take one last look," he said again as we arrived at the house. We walked in, and he offered me another cigar. I lit it and settled down in the living room. I could hear him moving around, first in the kitchen and then upstairs, and then back in the kitchen again; and then, before I realized what was happening, I heard someone moving upstairs again. I knew he couldn't have made it up those stairs that quickly. He walked into the living room, took a cigar for himself, and while he was lighting it, I heard those footsteps overhead once more. His hand trembled, and he dropped the match.
"Have you got in somebody to help?" I asked.
"Did you bring someone in to help?" I asked.
"No," Jack answered sharply, and struck another match.
"No," Jack replied sharply, and lit another match.
"There's somebody upstairs, Jack," I said. "Don't you hear footsteps?"
"There's someone upstairs, Jack," I said. "Don't you hear footsteps?"
"It's the wind, captain," Jack answered; but I could see he was trembling.
"It's the wind, Captain," Jack replied; but I could see he was shaking.
"That isn't any wind, Jack," I said; "it's still and foggy. I'm sure there's somebody upstairs."
"That's not any wind, Jack," I said; "it's calm and foggy. I'm sure someone is upstairs."
"If you are so sure of it, you'd better go and see for yourself, captain," Jack answered, almost angrily.
"If you're so sure about it, you should go see for yourself, captain," Jack replied, nearly angrily.
He was angry because he was frightened. I left him before the fireplace, and went upstairs. There was no power on earth that could make me believe I hadn't heard a man's footsteps overhead. I knew there was somebody there. But there wasn't. I went into the bedroom, and it was all quiet, and the evening light was streaming in, reddish through the foggy air; and I went out on the landing and looked in the little back room that was meant for a servant-girl or a child. And as I came back again I saw that the door of the other room was wide open, though I knew Jack had locked it. He had said the lock was no good. I looked in. It was a room as big as the bedroom, but almost dark, for it had shutters, and they were closed. There was a musty smell, as of old gear, and I could make out that the floor was littered with sea-chests, and that there were oilskins and such stuff piled on the bed. But I still believed that there was[Pg 155] somebody upstairs, and I went in and struck a match and looked round. I could see the four walls and the shabby old paper, an iron bed and a cracked looking-glass, and the stuff on the floor. But there was nobody there. So I put out the match, and came out and shut the door and turned the key. Now, what I am telling you is the truth. When I had turned the key, I heard footsteps walking away from the door inside the room. Then I felt queer for a minute, and when I went downstairs I looked behind me, as the men at the wheel used to look behind them on board the Helen B.
He was angry because he was scared. I left him by the fireplace and went upstairs. There was no force on earth that could convince me I hadn't heard a man's footsteps above. I knew someone was there. But there wasn't. I entered the bedroom, and it was all quiet, with the evening light streaming in, reddish through the foggy air. I stepped out onto the landing and peeked into the small back room meant for a maid or a child. As I turned to go back, I noticed that the door to the other room was wide open, even though I knew Jack had locked it. He had said the lock was useless. I looked inside. It was a room as big as the bedroom but almost dark because the shutters were closed. There was a musty smell, like old gear, and I could see that the floor was cluttered with sea chests, along with oilskins and other stuff piled on the bed. But I still believed someone was upstairs, so I went in, struck a match, and looked around. I could see the four walls and the shabby old wallpaper, an iron bed, a cracked mirror, and the clutter on the floor. But there was no one there. So I blew out the match, stepped out, and locked the door. Now, what I'm telling you is the truth. When I turned the key, I heard footsteps walking away from the door inside the room. Then I felt strange for a moment, and as I went downstairs, I glanced behind me, like the men at the wheel used to do on the Helen B.
Jack was already outside on the steps, smoking. I have an idea that he didn't like to stay inside alone.
Jack was already outside on the steps, smoking. I get the feeling he didn't like being alone inside.
"Well?" he asked, trying to seem careless.
"Well?" he asked, attempting to appear indifferent.
"I didn't find anybody," I answered, "but I heard somebody moving about."
"I didn't find anyone," I replied, "but I heard someone moving around."
"I told you it was the wind," said Jack contemptuously. "I ought to know, for I live here, and I hear it often."
"I told you it was the wind," Jack said with disdain. "I should know since I live here and hear it all the time."
There was nothing to be said to that, so we began to walk down toward the beach. Jack said there wasn't any hurry, as it would take Miss Mamie some time to dress for the wedding. So we strolled along, and the sun was setting through the fog, and the tide was coming in.[Pg 156] I knew the moon was full, and that when she rose the fog would roll away from the land, as it does sometimes. I felt that Jack didn't like my having heard that noise, so I talked of other things, and asked him about his prospects, and before long we were chatting as pleasantly as possible.
There wasn't much to say about that, so we started walking down to the beach. Jack mentioned there was no rush since it would take Miss Mamie a while to get ready for the wedding. So we meandered along, with the sun setting through the fog and the tide coming in.[Pg 156] I knew the moon was full, and when it rose, the fog would clear from the land, like it sometimes does. I sensed that Jack wasn't thrilled I had heard that noise, so I shifted the conversation to other topics and asked him about his plans, and soon we were chatting as pleasantly as possible.
I haven't been at many weddings in my life, and I don't suppose you have, but that one seemed to me to be all right until it was pretty near over; and then, I don't know whether it was part of the ceremony or not, but Jack put out his hand and took Mamie's and held it a minute, and looked at her, while the parson was still speaking.
I haven't been to many weddings in my life, and I doubt you have either, but that one seemed okay to me until it was almost over; then, I'm not sure if it was part of the ceremony or not, but Jack reached out, took Mamie's hand, held it for a moment, and looked at her while the officiant was still talking.
Mamie turned as white as a sheet and screamed. It wasn't a loud scream, but just a sort of stifled little shriek, as if she were half frightened to death; and the parson stopped, and asked her what was the matter, and the family gathered round.
Mamie turned pale and screamed. It wasn't a loud scream, just a soft, stifled shriek, as if she were half scared to death; and the pastor stopped and asked her what was wrong, while the family gathered around.
"Your hand's like ice," said Mamie to Jack, "and it's all wet!"
"Your hand is freezing," Mamie said to Jack, "and it's all wet!"
She kept looking at it, as she got hold of herself again.
She kept staring at it as she gathered herself again.
"It don't feel cold to me," said Jack, and he held the back of his hand against his cheek. "Try it again."
"It doesn't feel cold to me," said Jack, and he held the back of his hand against his cheek. "Try it again."
Mamie held out hers, and touched the back of his hand, timidly at first, and then took hold of it.
Mamie extended her hand and gently touched the back of his hand, hesitantly at first, then grasped it firmly.
"Why, that's funny," she said.
"That's funny," she said.
"She's been as nervous as a witch all day," said Mrs. Brewster severely.
"She's been as nervous as a witch all day," Mrs. Brewster said sternly.
"It is natural," said the parson, "that young Mrs. Benton should experience a little agitation at such a moment."
"It’s understandable," said the parson, "that young Mrs. Benton might feel a bit anxious at a time like this."
Most of the bride's relations lived at a distance, and were busy people, so it had been arranged that the dinner we'd had in the middle of the day was to take the place of a dinner afterwards, and that we should just have a bite after the wedding was over, and then that everybody should go home, and the young couple would walk down to the cottage by themselves. When I looked out I could see the light burning brightly in Jack's cottage, a quarter of a mile away. I said I didn't think I could get any train to take me back before half-past nine, but Mrs. Brewster begged me to stay until it was time, as she said her daughter would want to take off her wedding dress before she went home; for she had put on something white with a wreath that was very pretty, and she couldn't walk home like that, could she?
Most of the bride's relatives lived far away and were busy, so it had been decided that the lunch we had earlier would replace the dinner afterward, and that we would just have a quick snack after the wedding was over. Then everyone would head home, and the newlyweds would walk to the cottage by themselves. When I looked out, I could see the light shining brightly in Jack's cottage, a quarter of a mile away. I mentioned that I didn’t think I could catch a train back before half-past nine, but Mrs. Brewster urged me to stay until then, saying her daughter would want to change out of her wedding dress before heading home. She had worn a pretty white outfit with a wreath, and she couldn't walk home like that, could she?
So when we had all had a little supper the party[Pg 158] began to break up, and when they were all gone Mrs. Brewster and Mamie went upstairs, and Jack and I went out on the piazza to have a smoke, as the old lady didn't like tobacco in the house.
So after we all had a little dinner, the party[Pg 158] started to wind down, and when everyone left, Mrs. Brewster and Mamie went upstairs, while Jack and I went out on the porch to smoke, since the old lady didn’t like tobacco in the house.
The full moon had risen now, and it was behind me as I looked down toward Jack's cottage, so that everything was clear and white, and there was only the light burning in the window. The fog had rolled down to the water's edge, and a little beyond, for the tide was high, or nearly, and was lapping up over the last reach of sand within fifty feet of the beach road.
The full moon was up now, shining behind me as I looked down at Jack's cottage, making everything clear and white, with just the light glowing in the window. The fog had settled down to the water's edge and a bit beyond, since the tide was high or almost there, lapping over the last stretch of sand within fifty feet of the beach road.
Jack didn't say much as we sat smoking, but he thanked me for coming to his wedding, and I told him I hoped he would be happy, and so I did. I daresay both of us were thinking of those footsteps upstairs, just then, and that the house wouldn't seem so lonely with a woman in it. By and by we heard Mamie's voice talking to her mother on the stairs, and in a minute she was ready to go. She had put on again the dress she had worn in the morning.
Jack didn’t say much as we sat smoking, but he thanked me for coming to his wedding, and I told him I hoped he’d be happy, which I genuinely meant. I bet both of us were thinking about those footsteps upstairs at that moment and how the house wouldn’t feel so lonely with a woman in it. After a while, we heard Mamie’s voice talking to her mom on the stairs, and in a minute, she was ready to go. She had put the dress on again that she wore in the morning.
Well, they were ready to go now. It was all very quiet after the day's excitement, and I knew they would like to walk down that path alone now that they were man and wife at last. I bade them good-night, although Jack made a show of pressing me to go with them by the path as far as the[Pg 159] cottage, instead of going to the station by the beach road. It was all very quiet, and it seemed to me a sensible way of getting married; and when Mamie kissed her mother good-night, I just looked the other way, and knocked my ashes over the rail of the piazza. So they started down the straight path to Jack's cottage, and I waited a minute with Mrs. Brewster, looking after them, before taking my hat to go. They walked side by side, a little shyly at first, and then I saw Jack put his arm round her waist. As I looked he was on her left and I saw the outline of the two figures very distinctly against the moonlight on the path; and the shadow on Mamie's right was broad and black as ink, and it moved along, lengthening and shortening with the unevenness of the ground beside the path.
Well, they were ready to go now. It was really quiet after the day's excitement, and I knew they wanted to walk down that path alone now that they were finally married. I said goodnight to them, even though Jack insisted I should walk with them part of the way to the[Pg 159] cottage instead of going to the station by the beach road. It was all very calm, and to me, it seemed like a sensible way to get married; and when Mamie kissed her mother goodnight, I just looked away and knocked my ashes over the rail of the porch. So they started down the straight path to Jack's cottage, and I waited a minute with Mrs. Brewster, watching them, before taking my hat to leave. They walked side by side, a little shy at first, and then I saw Jack put his arm around her waist. As I watched, he was on her left, and I could clearly see the two figures outlined against the moonlight on the path; the shadow on Mamie's right was broad and as dark as ink, moving along and shifting with the unevenness of the ground next to the path.
I thanked Mrs. Brewster, and bade her good-night; and though she was a hard New England woman, her voice trembled a little as she answered, but being a sensible person, she went in and shut the door behind her as I stepped out on the path. I looked after the couple in the distance a last time, meaning to go down to the road, so as not to overtake them; but when I had made a few steps I stopped and looked again, for I knew I had seen something queer, though I had only realised it afterwards. I looked again, and it was[Pg 160] plain enough now; and I stood stock-still, staring at what I saw. Mamie was walking between two men. The second man was just the same height as Jack, both being about a half a head taller than she; Jack on her left in his black tail-coat and round hat, and the other man on her right—well, he was a sailor-man in wet oilskins. I could see the moonlight shining on the water that ran down him, and on the little puddle that had settled where the flap of his sou'wester was turned up behind: and one of his wet, shiny arms was round Mamie's waist, just above Jack's. I was fast to the spot where I stood, and for a minute I thought I was crazy. We'd had nothing but some cider for dinner, and tea in the evening, otherwise I'd have thought something had got into my head, though I was never drunk in my life. It was more like a bad dream after that.
I thanked Mrs. Brewster and said good night to her. Even though she was a tough New England woman, her voice shook a bit as she replied. But being sensible, she went inside and shut the door behind me as I stepped out onto the path. I glanced back at the couple in the distance one last time, intending to head down to the road so I wouldn’t catch up to them. But after taking a few steps, I stopped and looked again because I knew I had seen something strange, although I didn’t realize it at the time. I looked again, and it was[Pg 160] clear enough now; I stood frozen, staring at what I saw. Mamie was walking between two men. The second man was exactly the same height as Jack, both being about half a head taller than her; Jack was on her left in his black tailcoat and round hat, and the other man was on her right—a sailor in wet oilskins. I could see the moonlight glistening on the water running down him and on the little puddle that had formed where the flap of his sou’wester was turned up behind. One of his wet, shiny arms was wrapped around Mamie’s waist, just above Jack's. I was stuck in place, and for a moment I thought I was losing my mind. We’d only had some cider for dinner and tea in the evening, or else I would have thought something was off with me, even though I’d never been drunk in my life. It felt more like a bad dream after that.
I was glad Mrs. Brewster had gone in. As for me, I couldn't help following the three, in a sort of wonder to see what would happen, to see whether the sailor-man in his wet togs would just melt away into the moonshine. But he didn't.
I was relieved Mrs. Brewster had gone inside. As for me, I couldn't help but follow the three of them, curious to see what would happen, to see if the sailor in his wet clothes would just disappear into the moonlight. But he didn't.
I moved slowly, and I remembered afterwards that I walked on the grass, instead of on the path, as if I were afraid they might hear me coming. I suppose it all happened in less than five minutes after that, but it seemed as if it must have taken[Pg 161] an hour. Neither Jack nor Mamie seemed to notice the sailor. She didn't seem to know that his wet arm was round her, and little by little they got near the cottage, and I wasn't a hundred yards from them when they reached the door. Something made me stand still then. Perhaps it was fright, for I saw everything that happened just as I see you now.
I moved slowly, and I remembered later that I walked on the grass instead of the path, like I was afraid they might hear me coming. I guess it all happened in less than five minutes, but it felt like it took[Pg 161] an hour. Neither Jack nor Mamie seemed to notice the sailor. She didn’t seem to realize that his wet arm was around her, and little by little, they got closer to the cottage. I was less than a hundred yards away when they reached the door. Something made me stop then. Maybe it was fear, because I saw everything that happened just like I see you now.
Mamie set her foot on the step to go up, and as she went forward, I saw the sailor slowly lock his arm in Jack's, and Jack didn't move to go up. Then Mamie turned round on the step, and they all three stood that way for a second or two. She cried out then—I heard a man cry like that once, when his arm was taken off by a steam-crane—and she fell back in a heap on the little piazza.
Mamie placed her foot on the step to go up, and as she moved forward, I noticed the sailor gradually wrap his arm around Jack's, and Jack didn't move to go up. Then Mamie turned around on the step, and all three of them stood there for a second or two. She screamed then—I once heard a man cry like that when his arm got caught by a steam crane—and she collapsed in a heap on the small porch.
I tried to jump forward, but I couldn't move, and I felt my hair rising under my hat. The sailor turned slowly where he stood, and swung Jack round by the arm steadily and easily, and began to walk him down the pathway from the house. He walked him straight down that path, as steadily as Fate; and all the time I saw the moonlight shining on his wet oilskins. He walked him through the gate, and across the beach road, and out upon the wet sand, where the tide was high. Then I got my breath with a gulp, and ran for them across the grass, and vaulted over the fence, and stumbled[Pg 162] across the road. But when I felt the sand under my feet, the two were at the water's edge; and when I reached the water they were far out, and up to their waists; and I saw that Jack Benton's head had fallen forward on his breast, and his free arm hung limp beside him, while his dead brother steadily marched him to his death. The moonlight was on the dark water, but the fog-bank was white beyond, and I saw them against it; and they went slowly and steadily down. The water was up to their armpits, and then up to their shoulders, and then I saw it rise up to the black rim of Jack's hat. But they never wavered; and the two heads went straight on, straight on, till they were under, and there was just a ripple in the moonlight where Jack had been.
I tried to jump forward, but I couldn't move, and I felt my hair rising under my hat. The sailor turned slowly where he stood, and easily swung Jack around by the arm, then began to walk him down the pathway from the house. He walked him straight down that path, as steadily as Fate; and all the time I saw the moonlight shining on his wet oilskins. He took him through the gate, across the beach road, and out onto the wet sand, where the tide was high. Then I caught my breath with a gulp, ran for them across the grass, vaulted over the fence, and stumbled[Pg 162] across the road. But when I felt the sand under my feet, the two were at the water's edge; and when I reached the water, they were far out, up to their waists; and I saw that Jack Benton's head had fallen forward onto his chest, and his free arm hung limp beside him, while his dead brother steadily marched him to his death. The moonlight was on the dark water, but the fog bank was white beyond, and I saw them against it; and they went slowly and steadily down. The water was up to their armpits, then to their shoulders, and then I saw it rise to the black rim of Jack's hat. But they never wavered; and the two heads went straight on, straight on, until they were under, and there was just a ripple in the moonlight where Jack had been.
It has been on my mind to tell you that story, whenever I got a chance. You have known me, man and boy, a good many years; and I thought I would like to hear your opinion. Yes, that's what I always thought. It wasn't Jim that went overboard; it was Jack, and Jim just let him go when he might have saved him; and then Jim passed himself off for Jack with us, and with the girl. If that's what happened, he got what he deserved. People said the next day that Mamie found it out as they reached the house, and that her husband[Pg 163] just walked out into the sea, and drowned himself; and they would have blamed me for not stopping him if they'd known that I was there. But I never told what I had seen, for they wouldn't have believed me. I just let them think I had come too late.
It’s been on my mind to share that story with you whenever I had the chance. You’ve known me for a long time, since we were kids, and I wanted to know what you think. Yeah, that’s what I always thought. It wasn’t Jim who went overboard; it was Jack, and Jim just let him go when he could have saved him; then Jim pretended to be Jack for us and for the girl. If that’s how it went down, he got what he deserved. People said the next day that Mamie figured it out as they got to the house, and that her husband[Pg 163] just walked into the ocean and killed himself; and they would have blamed me for not stopping him if they had known I was there. But I never said what I had seen because they wouldn’t have believed me. I just let them think I arrived too late.
When I reached the cottage and lifted Mamie up, she was raving mad. She got better afterwards, but she was never right in her head again.
When I got to the cottage and picked up Mamie, she was completely out of her mind. She improved afterwards, but she was never the same mentally again.
Oh, you want to know if they found Jack's body? I don't know whether it was his, but I read in a paper at a Southern port where I was with my new ship that two dead bodies had come ashore in a gale down East, in pretty bad shape. They were locked together, and one was a skeleton in oilskins.
Oh, you want to know if they found Jack's body? I'm not sure if it was his, but I read in a newspaper at a Southern port where I was with my new ship that two dead bodies had washed ashore during a storm up East, in pretty bad condition. They were entwined, and one was just a skeleton in oilskins.
FOR THE BLOOD IS THE SOURCE OF LIFE
FOR THE BLOOD IS THE LIFE
FOR THE BLOOD IS THE LIFE
We had dined at sunset on the broad roof of the old tower, because it was cooler there during the great heat of summer. Besides, the little kitchen was built at one corner of the great square platform, which made it more convenient than if the dishes had to be carried down the steep stone steps, broken in places and everywhere worn with age. The tower was one of those built all down the west coast of Calabria by the Emperor Charles V. early in the sixteenth century, to keep off the Barbary pirates, when the unbelievers were allied with Francis I. against the Emperor and the Church. They have gone to ruin, a few still stand intact, and mine is one of the largest. How it came into my possession ten years ago, and why I spend a part of each year in it, are matters which do not concern this tale. The tower stands in one of the loneliest spots in Southern Italy, at the extremity of a curving rocky promontory, which forms a small but safe natural harbour at the southern extremity of the Gulf of Policastro, and just north of Cape Scalea, the birthplace of Judas[Pg 168] Iscariot, according to the old local legend. The tower stands alone on this hooked spur of the rock, and there is not a house to be seen within three miles of it. When I go there I take a couple of sailors, one of whom is a fair cook, and when I am away it is in charge of a gnome-like little being who was once a miner and who attached himself to me long ago.
We had dinner at sunset on the wide roof of the old tower because it was cooler there during the intense summer heat. Plus, the small kitchen was located at one corner of the large flat platform, making it more convenient than carrying the dishes down the steep, uneven stone steps that show signs of age. The tower is one of those built along the western coast of Calabria by Emperor Charles V in the early sixteenth century to fend off the Barbary pirates when the nonbelievers joined forces with Francis I against the Emperor and the Church. Many have fallen into ruins, though a few still stand strong, and mine is one of the largest. How I came to own it ten years ago and why I spend part of each year there aren’t relevant to this story. The tower is situated in one of the most isolated spots in Southern Italy, at the end of a curving rocky promontory that creates a small but safe natural harbor at the southern end of the Gulf of Policastro, just north of Cape Scalea, which, according to local legend, is the birthplace of Judas[Pg 168] Iscariot. The tower stands alone on this hooked outcropping, with no houses in sight for three miles. When I visit, I bring along a couple of sailors, one of whom is a decent cook, and when I’m not there, it’s looked after by a gnome-like little guy who used to be a miner and has been with me for a long time.
My friend, who sometimes visits me in my summer solitude, is an artist by profession, a Scandinavian by birth, and a cosmopolitan by force of circumstances. We had dined at sunset; the sunset glow had reddened and faded again, and the evening purple steeped the vast chain of the mountains that embrace the deep gulf to eastward and rear themselves higher and higher toward the south. It was hot, and we sat at the landward corner of the platform, waiting for the night breeze to come down from the lower hills. The colour sank out of the air, there was a little interval of deep-grey twilight, and a lamp sent a yellow streak from the open door of the kitchen, where the men were getting their supper.
My friend, who occasionally comes to visit me during my summer solitude, is an artist by profession, Scandinavian by birth, and a cosmopolitan by circumstance. We had dinner at sunset; the glow of the sunset had reddened and then faded away, and the evening's purple enveloped the vast range of mountains that surround the deep gulf to the east and rise higher toward the south. It was hot, and we sat at the landward corner of the platform, waiting for the night breeze to come down from the lower hills. The color drained from the sky, there was a brief moment of deep grey twilight, and a lamp cast a yellow light from the open door of the kitchen, where the men were having their supper.
Then the moon rose suddenly above the crest of the promontory, flooding the platform and lighting up every little spur of rock and knoll of grass below us, down to the edge of the motionless water. My friend lighted his pipe[Pg 169] and sat looking at a spot on the hillside. I knew that he was looking at it, and for a long time past I had wondered whether he would ever see anything there that would fix his attention. I knew that spot well. It was clear that he was interested at last, though it was a long time before he spoke. Like most painters, he trusts to his own eyesight, as a lion trusts his strength and a stag his speed, and he is always disturbed when he cannot reconcile what he sees with what he believes that he ought to see.
Then the moon suddenly rose above the edge of the promontory, flooding the platform and illuminating every little spur of rock and patch of grass below us, all the way to the edge of the still water. My friend lit his pipe[Pg 169] and stared at a spot on the hillside. I knew he was focused on it, and for a long time, I had wondered if he would ever see anything there that caught his attention. I knew that spot well. It was clear that he was finally interested, though it took him a while to speak. Like most painters, he relies on his own eyesight, just as a lion relies on its strength and a stag on its speed, and he always feels unsettled when he can't align what he sees with what he thinks he should be seeing.
"It's strange," he said. "Do you see that little mound just on this side of the boulder?"
"It's weird," he said. "Do you see that small mound right next to the boulder?"
"Yes," I said, and I guessed what was coming.
"Yeah," I said, and I figured out what was about to happen.
"It looks like a grave," observed Holger.
"It looks like a grave," Holger noted.
"Very true. It does look like a grave."
"That's true. It really does look like a grave."
"Yes," continued my friend, his eyes still fixed on the spot. "But the strange thing is that I see the body lying on the top of it. Of course," continued Holger, turning his head on one side as artists do, "it must be an effect of light. In the first place, it is not a grave at all. Secondly, if it were, the body would be inside and not outside. Therefore, it's an effect of the moonlight. Don't you see it?"
"Yes," my friend went on, his eyes still focused on that spot. "But the weird thing is that I see the body lying on top of it. Of course," Holger continued, tilting his head to the side like artists do, "it has to be a trick of the light. First of all, it's definitely not a grave. And if it were, the body would be inside, not outside. So, it must be just the moonlight playing tricks. Don’t you see it?"
"Perfectly; I always see it on moonlight nights."
"Exactly; I always see it on nights when the moon is out."
"It doesn't seem to interest you much," said Holger.
"It doesn't seem to interest you that much," Holger said.
"On the contrary, it does interest me, though I am used to it. You're not so far wrong, either. The mound is really a grave."
"Actually, I do find it interesting, even though I'm used to it. You're not entirely off the mark, either. The mound is definitely a grave."
"Nonsense!" cried Holger, incredulously. "I suppose you'll tell me what I see lying on it is really a corpse!"
"Nonsense!" Holger exclaimed, incredulously. "I guess you'll tell me that what I see lying on it is really a corpse!"
"No," I answered, "it's not. I know, because I have taken the trouble to go down and see."
"No," I replied, "it's not. I know this because I took the time to go and see for myself."
"Then what is it?" asked Holger.
"Then what is it?" Holger asked.
"It's nothing."
"That's nothing."
"You mean that it's an effect of light, I suppose?"
"You mean it's a result of light, right?"
"Perhaps it is. But the inexplicable part of the matter is that it makes no difference whether the moon is rising or setting, or waxing or waning. If there's any moonlight at all, from east or west or overhead, so long as it shines on the grave you can see the outline of the body on top."
"Maybe it is. But the strange thing is that it doesn't matter if the moon is rising or setting, or if it's getting bigger or smaller. As long as there's any moonlight at all—whether it's coming from the east, west, or directly above—if it shines on the grave, you can see the outline of the body on top."
Holger stirred up his pipe with the point of his knife, and then used his finger for a stopper. When the tobacco burned well he rose from his chair.
Holger poked his pipe with the tip of his knife, then used his finger to pack it down. When the tobacco was burning nicely, he got up from his chair.
"If you don't mind," he said, "I'll go down and take a look at it."
"If you don't mind," he said, "I'll go check it out."
He left me, crossed the roof, and disappeared down the dark steps. I did not move, but sat looking down until he came out of the tower below. I heard him humming an old Danish song as he crossed the open space in the bright moonlight,[Pg 171] going straight to the mysterious mound. When he was ten paces from it, Holger stopped short, made two steps forward, and then three or four backward, and then stopped again. I know what that meant. He had reached the spot where the Thing ceased to be visible—where, as he would have said, the effect of light changed.
He left me, crossed the roof, and disappeared down the dark steps. I didn't move, just sat there looking down until he came out of the tower below. I heard him humming an old Danish song as he crossed the open space in the bright moonlight,[Pg 171] heading straight for the mysterious mound. When he was ten paces away from it, Holger stopped suddenly, took two steps forward, then took three or four steps back, and then stopped again. I knew what that meant. He had reached the spot where the Thing was no longer visible—where, as he would have put it, the effect of light changed.
Then he went on till he reached the mound and stood upon it. I could see the Thing still, but it was no longer lying down; it was on its knees now, winding its white arms round Holger's body and looking up into his face. A cool breeze stirred my hair at that moment, as the night wind began to come down from the hills, but it felt like a breath from another world.
Then he continued until he reached the mound and stood on it. I could still see the Thing, but it wasn't lying down anymore; it was on its knees now, wrapping its white arms around Holger's body and looking up at his face. A cool breeze stirred my hair at that moment, as the night wind started to blow down from the hills, but it felt like a breath from another world.
The Thing seemed to be trying to climb to its feet, helping itself up by Holger's body while he stood upright, quite unconscious of it and apparently looking toward the tower, which is very picturesque when the moonlight falls upon it on that side.
The Thing appeared to be attempting to get up, using Holger's body for support while he stood there, completely unaware of it and seemingly gazing toward the tower, which looks really beautiful when the moonlight hits it from that angle.
"Come along!" I shouted. "Don't stay there all night!"
"Come on!" I shouted. "Don't just stand there all night!"
It seemed to me that he moved reluctantly as he stepped from the mound, or else with difficulty. That was it. The Thing's arms were still round his waist, but its feet could not leave the grave. As he came slowly forward it was drawn and lengthened like a wreath of mist, thin and white,[Pg 172] till I saw distinctly that Holger shook himself, as a man does who feels a chill. At the same instant a little wail of pain came to me on the breeze—it might have been the cry of the small owl that lives among the rocks—and the misty presence floated swiftly back from Holger's advancing figure and lay once more at its length upon the mound.
It felt like he moved hesitantly as he stepped off the mound, or maybe with some effort. That was it. The Thing's arms were still wrapped around him, but its feet couldn't leave the grave. As he slowly approached, it stretched and elongated like a thin, white wreath of mist, [Pg 172] until I clearly saw Holger shake himself, like someone who feels a chill. At the same moment, a faint wail of pain reached me on the breeze—it might have been the cry of a small owl that lives among the rocks—and the misty presence quickly floated back from Holger's moving figure and settled once more along the mound.
Again I felt the cool breeze in my hair, and this time an icy thrill of dread ran down my spine. I remembered very well that I had once gone down there alone in the moonlight; that presently, being near, I had seen nothing; that, like Holger, I had gone and had stood upon the mound; and I remembered how, when I came back, sure that there was nothing there, I had felt the sudden conviction that there was something after all if I would only look behind me. I remembered the strong temptation to look back, a temptation I had resisted as unworthy of a man of sense, until, to get rid of it, I had shaken myself just as Holger did.
Again, I felt the cool breeze in my hair, and this time an icy chill of dread ran down my spine. I clearly remembered that I had once gone down there alone in the moonlight; that while I was nearby, I hadn’t seen anything; that, like Holger, I had gone and stood on the mound; and I recalled how, when I came back, convinced there was nothing there, I suddenly felt that there was indeed something if only I would look behind me. I remembered the strong urge to look back, an urge I had resisted as unworthy of a sensible person, until, to shake it off, I had done what Holger did.
And now I knew that those white, misty arms had been round me too; I knew it in a flash, and I shuddered as I remembered that I had heard the night owl then too. But it had not been the night owl. It was the cry of the Thing.
And now I realized that those white, misty arms had wrapped around me too; I understood it in an instant, and I shivered as I recalled hearing the night owl then as well. But it wasn't the night owl. It was the cry of the Thing.
I refilled my pipe and poured out a cup of strong southern wine; in less than a minute Holger was seated beside me again.
I filled my pipe again and poured myself a cup of strong southern wine; in less than a minute, Holger was sitting next to me again.
"Of course there's nothing there," he said, "but it's creepy, all the same. Do you know, when I was coming back I was so sure that there was something behind me that I wanted to turn round and look? It was an effort not to."
"Of course there's nothing there," he said, "but it’s still creepy. You know, when I was coming back, I was so convinced that something was behind me that I felt like I needed to turn around and look? It was hard not to."
He laughed a little, knocked the ashes out of his pipe, and poured himself out some wine. For a while neither of us spoke, and the moon rose higher, and we both looked at the Thing that lay on the mound.
He chuckled a bit, emptied the ashes from his pipe, and poured himself some wine. For a while, neither of us said anything, and the moon climbed higher as we both gazed at the Thing lying on the mound.
"You might make a story about that," said Holger after a long time.
"You could make a story out of that," Holger said after a long pause.
"There is one," I answered. "If you're not sleepy, I'll tell it to you."
"There is one," I replied. "If you're not tired, I'll share it with you."
"Go ahead," said Holger, who likes stories.
"Go ahead," said Holger, who enjoys stories.
* * * * * *
* * * * * *
Old Alario was dying up there in the village behind the hill. You remember him, I have no doubt. They say that he made his money by selling sham jewellery in South America, and escaped with his gains when he was found out. Like all those fellows, if they bring anything back with them, he at once set to work to enlarge his house, and as there are no masons here, he sent all the way to Paola for two workmen. They were a rough-looking pair of scoundrels—a Neapolitan who had lost one eye and a Sicilian with an old scar half an inch deep across his left cheek. I often saw them, for on [Pg 174]Sundays they used to come down here and fish off the rocks. When Alario caught the fever that killed him the masons were still at work. As he had agreed that part of their pay should be their board and lodging, he made them sleep in the house. His wife was dead, and he had an only son called Angelo, who was a much better sort than himself. Angelo was to marry the daughter of the richest man in the village, and, strange to say, though the marriage was arranged by their parents, the young people were said to be in love with each other.
Old Alario was dying up there in the village behind the hill. You remember him, I'm sure. They say he made his money selling fake jewelry in South America and escaped with his profits when he was caught. Like a lot of those guys, if they bring anything back with them, he immediately started expanding his house, and since there are no masons around here, he sent all the way to Paola for two workers. They were a rough-looking pair—a Neapolitan missing one eye and a Sicilian with an old scar half an inch deep across his left cheek. I often saw them, as they used to come down here on Sundays to fish off the rocks. When Alario caught the fever that ultimately killed him, the masons were still working. Since he had agreed that part of their pay would include their meals and lodging, he made them sleep in the house. His wife was dead, and he had one son named Angelo, who was a much better person than he was. Angelo was set to marry the daughter of the richest man in the village, and strangely enough, even though their parents arranged the marriage, it was said that the young couple were in love with each other.
For that matter, the whole village was in love with Angelo, and among the rest a wild, good-looking creature called Cristina, who was more like a gipsy than any girl I ever saw about here. She had very red lips and very black eyes, she was built like a greyhound, and had the tongue of the devil. But Angelo did not care a straw for her. He was rather a simple-minded fellow, quite different from his old scoundrel of a father, and under what I should call normal circumstances I really believe that he would never have looked at any girl except the nice plump little creature, with a fat dowry, whom his father meant him to marry. But things turned up which were neither normal nor natural.
For that matter, the whole village was in love with Angelo, and among them was a wild, good-looking girl named Cristina, who was more like a gypsy than any girl I’d ever seen around here. She had very red lips and very black eyes, her body was built like a greyhound, and she had the sharp tongue of the devil. But Angelo didn’t care at all for her. He was a bit of a simpleton, quite different from his old scoundrel of a father, and under what I’d call normal circumstances, I honestly believe he would never have looked at any girl except the nice, plump little girl with a fat dowry that his father wanted him to marry. But then things happened that were neither normal nor natural.
On the other hand, a very handsome young[Pg 175] shepherd from the hills above Maratea was in love with Cristina, who seems to have been quite indifferent to him. Cristina had no regular means of subsistence, but she was a good girl and willing to do any work or go on errands to any distance for the sake of a loaf of bread or a mess of beans, and permission to sleep under cover. She was especially glad when she could get something to do about the house of Angelo's father. There is no doctor in the village, and when the neighbours saw that old Alario was dying they sent Cristina to Scalea to fetch one. That was late in the afternoon, and if they had waited so long, it was because the dying miser refused to allow any such extravagance while he was able to speak. But while Cristina was gone matters grew rapidly worse, the priest was brought to the bedside, and when he had done what he could he gave it as his opinion to the bystanders that the old man was dead, and left the house.
On the other hand, a very handsome young[Pg 175] shepherd from the hills above Maratea was in love with Cristina, who seemed pretty indifferent to him. Cristina didn’t have a regular source of income, but she was a good person and willing to do any work or run errands anywhere for a loaf of bread or a bowl of beans, and a place to sleep. She was especially happy when she could find work at Angelo's father's house. There was no doctor in the village, and when the neighbors saw that old Alario was dying, they sent Cristina to Scalea to fetch one. That was late in the afternoon, and they had waited so long because the dying miser refused to allow any such expense while he was still able to speak. But while Cristina was gone, things quickly deteriorated; the priest was called to the bedside, and after doing what he could, he informed those present that the old man was dead and left the house.
You know these people. They have a physical horror of death. Until the priest spoke, the room had been full of people. The words were hardly out of his mouth before it was empty. It was night now. They hurried down the dark steps and out into the street.
You know these people. They have a deep fear of death. Until the priest spoke, the room was packed with people. The moment he finished speaking, it was empty. It was night now. They rushed down the dark steps and out into the street.
Angelo, as I have said, was away, Cristina had not come back—the simple woman-servant[Pg 176] who had nursed the sick man fled with the rest, and the body was left alone in the flickering light of the earthen oil lamp.
Angelo, as I mentioned, was gone, and Cristina hadn't returned—the ordinary housemaid[Pg 176] who had cared for the sick man ran away with the others, leaving the body alone in the dim light of the oil lamp.
Five minutes later two men looked in cautiously and crept forward toward the bed. They were the one-eyed Neapolitan mason and his Sicilian companion. They knew what they wanted. In a moment they had dragged from under the bed a small but heavy iron-bound box, and long before any one thought of coming back to the dead man they had left the house and the village under cover of the darkness. It was easy enough, for Alario's house is the last toward the gorge which leads down here, and the thieves merely went out by the back door, got over the stone wall, and had nothing to risk after that except the possibility of meeting some belated countryman, which was very small indeed, since few of the people use that path. They had a mattock and shovel, and they made their way here without accident.
Five minutes later, two men peered in cautiously and moved toward the bed. They were the one-eyed Neapolitan mason and his Sicilian friend. They knew exactly what they were after. Soon, they had pulled a small but heavy iron-bound box from under the bed, and long before anyone thought about returning to the dead man, they had left the house and the village under the cover of darkness. It was pretty straightforward, since Alario's house was the last one before the gorge that leads down here, and the thieves simply slipped out the back door, climbed over the stone wall, and had little to worry about after that except the chance of running into a late-night traveler, which was quite unlikely because few people used that path. They had a mattock and a shovel, and they made their way here without any problems.
I am telling you this story as it must have happened, for, of course, there were no witnesses to this part of it. The men brought the box down by the gorge, intending to bury it until they should be able to come back and take it away in a boat. They must have been clever enough to guess that some of the money would be in paper notes, for[Pg 177] they would otherwise have buried it on the beach in the wet sand, where it would have been much safer. But the paper would have rotted if they had been obliged to leave it there long, so they dug their hole down there, close to that boulder. Yes, just where the mound is now.
I’m sharing this story as it likely happened, since there were no witnesses to this part. The men brought the box down to the gorge, planning to bury it until they could return and take it away by boat. They must have been smart enough to realize that some of the money would be in cash, because otherwise they would have buried it on the beach in the wet sand, where it would have been safer. But the paper would have rotted if they had to leave it there for long, so they dug their hole close to that boulder. Yes, exactly where the mound is now.
Cristina did not find the doctor in Scalea, for he had been sent for from a place up the valley, halfway to San Domenico. If she had found him, he would have come on his mule by the upper road, which is smoother but much longer. But Cristina took the short cut by the rocks, which passes about fifty feet above the mound, and goes round that corner. The men were digging when she passed, and she heard them at work. It would not have been like her to go by without finding out what the noise was, for she was never afraid of anything in her life, and, besides, the fishermen sometimes come ashore here at night to get a stone for an anchor or to gather sticks to make a little fire. The night was dark, and Cristina probably came close to the two men before she could see what they were doing. She knew them, of course, and they knew her, and understood instantly that they were in her power. There was only one thing to be done for their safety, and they did it. They knocked her on the head, they dug the hole deep, and they buried her quickly with the iron-bound[Pg 178] chest. They must have understood that their only chance of escaping suspicion lay in getting back to the village before their absence was noticed, for they returned immediately, and were found half an hour later gossiping quietly with the man who was making Alario's coffin. He was a crony of theirs, and had been working at the repairs in the old man's house. So far as I have been able to make out, the only persons who were supposed to know where Alario kept his treasure were Angelo and the one woman-servant I have mentioned. Angelo was away; it was the woman who discovered the theft.
Cristina didn’t find the doctor in Scalea because he had been called from somewhere up the valley, halfway to San Domenico. If she had found him, he would have come on his mule by the upper road, which is smoother but much longer. Instead, Cristina took the shortcut by the rocks, which passes about fifty feet above the mound and goes around that corner. The men were digging when she passed by, and she could hear them working. It wouldn’t have been like her to walk by without figuring out what the noise was, because she was never afraid of anything in her life, plus the fishermen sometimes came ashore here at night to grab a stone for an anchor or gather sticks for a little fire. The night was dark, and Cristina probably got pretty close to the two men before she could see what they were doing. She knew them, of course, and they knew her, and they instantly realized they were at her mercy. There was only one thing to do for their safety, and they did it. They knocked her out, dug the hole deep, and buried her quickly with the iron-bound[Pg 178] chest. They must have known that their only chance of avoiding suspicion was to get back to the village before anyone noticed they were gone, so they returned right away and were found half an hour later casually chatting with the guy who was making Alario’s coffin. He was a buddy of theirs and had been working on repairs in the old man’s house. As far as I can tell, the only people who were supposed to know where Alario kept his treasure were Angelo and the one woman servant I’ve mentioned. Angelo was away; it was the woman who discovered the theft.
It is easy enough to understand why no one else knew where the money was. The old man kept his door locked and the key in his pocket when he was out, and did not let the woman enter to clean the place unless he was there himself. The whole village knew that he had money somewhere, however, and the masons had probably discovered the whereabouts of the chest by climbing in at the window in his absence. If the old man had not been delirious until he lost consciousness, he would have been in frightful agony of mind for his riches. The faithful woman-servant forgot their existence only for a few moments when she fled with the rest, overcome by the horror of death. Twenty minutes had not passed before she returned with the two hideous old hags who are always called in[Pg 179] to prepare the dead for burial. Even then she had not at first the courage to go near the bed with them, but she made a pretence of dropping something, went down on her knees as if to find it, and looked under the bedstead. The walls of the room were newly whitewashed down to the floor, and she saw at a glance that the chest was gone. It had been there in the afternoon, it had therefore been stolen in the short interval since she had left the room.
It’s pretty clear why no one else knew where the money was. The old man kept his door locked and carried the key in his pocket when he went out, and he never let the woman in to clean unless he was there. Still, the whole village knew he had money stored somewhere, and the masons probably figured out where the chest was by climbing in through the window while he was away. If the old man hadn’t been delirious and lost consciousness, he would have been in a state of complete agony over his riches. The loyal housekeeper only forgot about the money for a few moments when she ran away with everyone else, overwhelmed by the fear of death. Twenty minutes hadn’t passed before she came back with the two ugly old hags who are always called in[Pg 179] to prepare the dead for burial. Even then, she initially lacked the nerve to approach the bed with them, but pretended to drop something, went down on her knees to look for it, and peeked under the bed. The walls of the room had been freshly whitewashed down to the floor, and she immediately saw that the chest was gone. It had been there in the afternoon, so it must have been stolen in the brief time since she left the room.
There are no carabineers stationed in the village; there is not so much as a municipal watchman, for there is no municipality. There never was such a place, I believe. Scalea is supposed to look after it in some mysterious way, and it takes a couple of hours to get anybody from there. As the old woman had lived in the village all her life, it did not even occur to her to apply to any civil authority for help. She simply set up a howl and ran through the village in the dark, screaming out that her dead master's house had been robbed. Many of the people looked out, but at first no one seemed inclined to help her. Most of them, judging her by themselves, whispered to each other that she had probably stolen the money herself. The first man to move was the father of the girl whom Angelo was to marry; having collected his household, all of whom felt a personal interest in the[Pg 180] wealth which was to have come into the family, he declared it to be his opinion that the chest had been stolen by the two journeyman masons who lodged in the house. He headed a search for them, which naturally began in Alario's house and ended in the carpenter's workshop, where the thieves were found discussing a measure of wine with the carpenter over the half-finished coffin, by the light of one earthen lamp filled with oil and tallow. The search party at once accused the delinquents of the crime, and threatened to lock them up in the cellar till the carabineers could be fetched from Scalea. The two men looked at each other for one moment, and then without the slightest hesitation they put out the single light, seized the unfinished coffin between them, and using it as a sort of battering ram, dashed upon their assailants in the dark. In a few moments they were beyond pursuit.
There are no police stationed in the village; there isn't even a local watchman because there’s no municipality. I don’t think there ever was such a place. Scalea is supposed to handle things in an unclear way, and it takes a couple of hours to get anyone from there. Since the old woman had lived in the village her entire life, it didn’t even cross her mind to ask any civil authority for help. She just began to scream and ran through the village in the dark, shouting that her dead master's house had been robbed. Many people looked out, but at first, no one seemed willing to help her. Most of them, judging her by their own standards, whispered among themselves that she had probably stolen the money herself. The first person to act was the father of the girl who was supposed to marry Angelo; after gathering his family, all of whom felt personally connected to the wealth that was supposed to come into their family, he declared that the chest had been stolen by the two journeyman masons who were staying at the house. He led a search for them, which naturally started at Alario's house and ended in the carpenter's workshop, where the thieves were found discussing a measure of wine with the carpenter over the half-finished coffin, lit by a single earthen lamp filled with oil and tallow. The search party immediately accused the two men of the crime and threatened to lock them in the cellar until they could fetch the police from Scalea. The two men exchanged a quick glance, and then without hesitation, they blew out the single light, grabbed the unfinished coffin, and used it as a battering ram to charge at their attackers in the dark. Moments later, they were gone and couldn’t be chased down.
That is the end of the first part of the story. The treasure had disappeared, and as no trace of it could be found the people naturally supposed that the thieves had succeeded in carrying it off. The old man was buried, and when Angelo came back at last he had to borrow money to pay for the miserable funeral, and had some difficulty in doing so. He hardly needed to be told that in losing his inheritance he had lost his bride. In[Pg 181] this part of the world marriages are made on strictly business principles, and if the promised cash is not forthcoming on the appointed day the bride or the bridegroom whose parents have failed to produce it may as well take themselves off, for there will be no wedding. Poor Angelo knew that well enough. His father had been possessed of hardly any land, and now that the hard cash which he had brought from South America was gone, there was nothing left but debts for the building materials that were to have been used for enlarging and improving the old house. Angelo was beggared, and the nice plump little creature who was to have been his turned up her nose at him in the most approved fashion. As for Cristina, it was several days before she was missed, for no one remembered that she had been sent to Scalea for the doctor, who had never come. She often disappeared in the same way for days together, when she could find a little work here and there at the distant farms among the hills. But when she did not come back at all, people began to wonder, and at last made up their minds that she had connived with the masons and had escaped with them.
That’s the end of the first part of the story. The treasure had vanished, and since no trace of it could be found, people naturally assumed that the thieves had managed to take it away. The old man was buried, and when Angelo finally returned, he had to borrow money for the pathetic funeral, which was not easy for him. He hardly needed to be told that by losing his inheritance, he had also lost his bride. In[Pg 181] this part of the world, marriages are based on strict financial agreements, and if the promised money isn’t presented on the wedding day, the bride or groom whose parents failed to provide it might as well leave, because there won’t be a wedding. Poor Angelo knew this all too well. His father barely owned any land, and now that the cash he had brought from South America was gone, all that was left were debts for the building materials meant for expanding and improving the old house. Angelo was broke, and the nice, plump girl who was supposed to be his turned her nose up at him in the most accepted way. As for Cristina, it took several days before anyone noticed she was missing, as no one remembered she had been sent to Scalea for the doctor, who never showed up. She often disappeared like this for days, finding a little work here and there at the distant farms in the hills. But when she didn’t come back at all, people started to wonder, and eventually concluded that she had teamed up with the masons and had fled with them.
* * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
I paused and emptied my glass.
I took a break and finished my drink.
"That sort of thing could not happen anywhere else," observed Holger, filling his everlasting pipe[Pg 182] again. "It is wonderful what a natural charm there is about murder and sudden death in a romantic country like this. Deeds that would be simply brutal and disgusting anywhere else become dramatic and mysterious because this is Italy and we are living in a genuine tower of Charles V. built against genuine Barbary pirates."
"That kind of thing couldn't happen anywhere else," Holger said, refilling his everlasting pipe[Pg 182] again. "It's amazing how a natural charm surrounds murder and sudden death in a romantic place like this. Acts that would seem brutally horrific anywhere else turn into something dramatic and mysterious because we're in Italy and living in a real tower of Charles V, built to defend against actual Barbary pirates."
"There's something in that" I admitted. Holger is the most romantic man in the world inside of himself, but he always thinks it necessary to explain why he feels anything.
"There's something to that," I admitted. Holger is the most romantic guy in the world internally, but he always feels the need to explain why he feels anything.
"I suppose they found the poor girl's body with the box," he said presently.
"I guess they found the poor girl's body with the box," he said after a moment.
"As it seems to interest you," I answered, "I'll tell you the rest of the story."
"Since it seems to interest you," I replied, "I'll share the rest of the story."
The moon had risen high by this time; the outline of the Thing on the mound was clearer to our eyes than before.
The moon was high in the sky by now; the shape of the Thing on the mound was clearer to us than before.
* * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
The village very soon settled down to its small, dull life. No one missed old Alario, who had been away so much on his voyages to South America that he had never been a familiar figure in his native place. Angelo lived in the half-finished house, and because he had no money to pay the old woman-servant she would not stay with him, but once in a long time she would come and wash a shirt for him for old acquaintance' sake. [Pg 183]Besides the house, he had inherited a small patch of ground at some distance from the village; he tried to cultivate it, but he had no heart in the work, for he knew he could never pay the taxes on it and on the house, which would certainly be confiscated by the Government, or seized for the debt of the building material, which the man who had supplied it refused to take back.
The village quickly settled into its small, boring routine. No one missed old Alario, who had been away so much on his trips to South America that he was never a familiar face in his home town. Angelo lived in the unfinished house, and since he couldn’t afford to pay the old woman who helped him, she wouldn’t stay, but every once in a while, she’d come by to wash a shirt for him out of old friendship. [Pg 183] Besides the house, he had inherited a small piece of land a bit away from the village; he tried to farm it, but he had no passion for the work, knowing he could never cover the taxes on it and the house, which would definitely be taken by the government or seized for the debt of the building materials that the supplier refused to take back.
Angelo was very unhappy. So long as his father had been alive and rich, every girl in the village had been in love with him; but that was all changed now. It had been pleasant to be admired and courted, and invited to drink wine by fathers who had girls to marry. It was hard to be stared at coldly, and sometimes laughed at because he had been robbed of his inheritance. He cooked his miserable meals for himself, and from being sad became melancholy and morose.
Angelo was really unhappy. As long as his father had been alive and wealthy, every girl in the village had been in love with him; but that had all changed now. It was nice to be admired and pursued, and to be invited to drink wine by fathers who had daughters to marry off. Now, it was tough to be looked at coldly, and sometimes laughed at because he had lost his inheritance. He prepared his sad meals by himself and went from being just sad to feeling utterly gloomy and depressed.
At twilight, when the day's work was done, instead of hanging about in the open space before the church with young fellows of his own age, he took to wandering in lonely places on the outskirts of the village till it was quite dark. Then he slunk home and went to bed to save the expense of a light. But in those lonely twilight hours he began to have strange waking dreams. He was not always alone, for often when he sat on the stump of a tree, where the narrow path turns[Pg 184] down the gorge, he was sure that a woman came up noiselessly over the rough stones, as if her feet were bare; and she stood under a clump of chestnut trees only half a dozen yards down the path, and beckoned to him without speaking. Though she was in the shadow he knew that her lips were red, and that when they parted a little and smiled at him she showed two small sharp teeth. He knew this at first rather than saw it, and he knew that it was Cristina, and that she was dead. Yet he was not afraid; he only wondered whether it was a dream, for he thought that if he had been awake he should have been frightened.
At twilight, when the day's work was finished, instead of hanging out in the open space in front of the church with guys his own age, he wandered off to quiet spots on the outskirts of the village until it got completely dark. Then he would sneak home and go to bed to save on a light. But during those lonely twilight hours, he started having strange waking dreams. He wasn't always alone; often when he sat on the stump of a tree, where the narrow path drops[Pg 184] down into the gorge, he felt sure that a woman came quietly over the rough stones, as if she were barefoot; and she stood under a cluster of chestnut trees just a few yards down the path, beckoning to him without saying a word. Even though she was in the shadows, he knew her lips were red, and when they parted slightly and she smiled at him, he could see two small sharp teeth. He was more aware of this than actually seeing it, and he knew it was Cristina, and that she was dead. Yet he wasn't afraid; he just wondered if it was a dream because he thought that if he had been fully awake, he would have been scared.
Besides, the dead woman had red lips, and that could only happen in a dream. Whenever he went near the gorge after sunset she was already there waiting for him, or else she very soon appeared, and he began to be sure that she came a little nearer to him every day. At first he had only been sure of her blood-red mouth, but now each feature grew distinct, and the pale face looked at him with deep and hungry eyes.
Besides, the dead woman had red lips, and that could only happen in a dream. Whenever he went near the gorge after sunset, she was already there waiting for him, or she would appear very quickly, and he started to feel certain that she came a little closer to him every day. At first, he had only been sure of her blood-red mouth, but now each feature became clearer, and the pale face looked at him with deep and hungry eyes.
It was the eyes that grew dim. Little by little he came to know that some day the dream would not end when he turned away to go home, but would lead him down the gorge out of which the vision rose. She was nearer now when she beckoned to him. Her cheeks were not livid like[Pg 185] those of the dead, but pale with starvation, with the furious and unappeased physical hunger of her eyes that devoured him. They feasted on his soul and cast a spell over him, and at last they were close to his own and held him. He could not tell whether her breath was as hot as fire or as cold as ice; he could not tell whether her red lips burned his or froze them, or whether her five fingers on his wrists seared scorching scars or bit his flesh like frost; he could not tell whether he was awake or asleep, whether she was alive or dead, but he knew that she loved him, she alone of all creatures, earthly or unearthly, and her spell had power over him.
It was her eyes that became dim. Gradually, he realized that someday the dream wouldn't end when he turned to go home, but would instead lead him down the cliff where the vision emerged. She was closer now as she signaled to him. Her cheeks weren't the ashen color of the dead, but pale from starvation, filled with the intense and insatiable physical hunger in her eyes that consumed him. They fed on his soul and enchanted him, and at last they were close to his own and held him captive. He couldn't tell if her breath was as hot as fire or as cold as ice; he couldn't discern whether her red lips burned his or froze them, or if her five fingers on his wrists left burning marks or froze his skin. He couldn't tell if he was awake or dreaming, whether she was alive or dead, but he knew that she loved him, the only one among all beings, earthly or otherwise, and her spell had a hold on him.
When the moon rose high that night the shadow of that Thing was not alone down there upon the mound.
When the moon was high that night, the shadow of that Thing wasn't the only one down there on the mound.
Angelo awoke in the cool dawn, drenched with dew and chilled through flesh, and blood, and bone. He opened his eyes to the faint grey light, and saw the stars still shining overhead. He was very weak, and his heart was beating so slowly that he was almost like a man fainting. Slowly he turned his head on the mound, as on a pillow, but the other face was not there. Fear seized him suddenly, a fear unspeakable and unknown; he sprang to his feet and fled up the gorge, and he never looked behind him until he reached the[Pg 186] door of the house on the outskirts of the village. Drearily he went to his work that day, and wearily the hours dragged themselves after the sun, till at last he touched the sea and sank, and the great sharp hills above Maratea turned purple against the dove-coloured eastern sky.
Angelo woke up in the cool dawn, covered in dew and feeling chilled to the bone. He opened his eyes to the faint gray light and saw the stars still shining above. He felt very weak, and his heart was beating so slowly that it was almost like he was about to faint. Slowly, he turned his head on the mound, like it was a pillow, but the other face wasn’t there. Suddenly, an indescribable and frightening fear gripped him; he jumped to his feet and ran up the gorge, not looking back until he reached the[Pg 186] door of the house on the outskirts of the village. Dully, he went to work that day, and the hours dragged on tiredly after the sun, until finally he reached the sea and sank, as the great sharp hills above Maratea turned purple against the dove-colored eastern sky.
Angelo shouldered his heavy hoe and left the field. He felt less tired now than in the morning when he had begun to work, but he promised himself that he would go home without lingering by the gorge, and eat the best supper he could get himself, and sleep all night in his bed like a Christian man. Not again would he be tempted down the narrow way by a shadow with red lips and icy breath; not again would he dream that dream of terror and delight. He was near the village now; it was half an hour since the sun had set, and the cracked church bell sent little discordant echoes across the rocks and ravines to tell all good people that the day was done. Angelo stood still a moment where the path forked, where it led toward the village on the left, and down to the gorge on the right, where a clump of chestnut trees overhung the narrow way. He stood still a minute, lifting his battered hat from his head and gazing at the fast-fading sea westward, and his lips moved as he silently repeated the familiar evening prayer. His lips moved, but[Pg 187] the words that followed them in his brain lost their meaning and turned into others, and ended in a name that he spoke aloud—Cristina! With the name, the tension of his will relaxed suddenly, reality went out and the dream took him again, and bore him on swiftly and surely like a man walking in his sleep, down, down, by the steep path in the gathering darkness. And as she glided beside him, Cristina whispered strange, sweet things in his ear, which somehow, if he had been awake, he knew that he could not quite have understood; but now they were the most wonderful words he had ever heard in his life. And she kissed him also, but not upon his mouth. He felt her sharp kisses upon his white throat, and he knew that her lips were red. So the wild dream sped on through twilight and darkness and moonrise, and all the glory of the summer's night. But in the chilly dawn he lay as one half dead upon the mound down there, recalling and not recalling, drained of his blood, yet strangely longing to give those red lips more. Then came the fear, the awful nameless panic, the mortal horror that guards the confines of the world we see not, neither know of as we know of other things, but which we feel when its icy chill freezes our bones and stirs our hair with the touch of a ghostly hand. Once more Angelo sprang from the mound[Pg 188] and fled up the gorge in the breaking day, but his step was less sure this time, and he panted for breath as he ran; and when he came to the bright spring of water that rises halfway up the hillside, he dropped upon his knees and hands and plunged his whole face in and drank as he had never drunk before—for it was the thirst of the wounded man who has lain bleeding all night long upon the battle-field.
Angelo slung his heavy hoe over his shoulder and left the field. He felt less tired now than he had in the morning when he started working, but he promised himself he wouldn’t linger by the gorge, would eat the best dinner he could manage, and sleep all night in his bed like a decent man. He wouldn’t let himself be tempted down that narrow path again by a shadow with red lips and cold breath; he wouldn’t dream that terrifying yet thrilling dream again. He was close to the village now; it had been half an hour since sunset, and the cracked church bell rang out discordant echoes across the rocks and ravines, signaling to all good people that the day was over. Angelo paused for a moment at the fork in the path, where one side led toward the village on the left, and the other down to the gorge on the right, where a cluster of chestnut trees hung over the narrow trail. He stood still for a minute, lifting his worn hat from his head and gazing at the quickly fading sea to the west, silently repeating his familiar evening prayer. His lips moved, but[Pg 187] the words in his mind lost their meaning and morphed into others, culminating in a name he spoke aloud—Cristina! With her name, the tension he held relaxed suddenly, reality slipped away, and the dream took hold of him once more, carrying him swiftly and surely like a man sleepwalking, down, down, the steep path into the gathering darkness. As she glided next to him, Cristina whispered strange, sweet things in his ear, which he knew he wouldn’t have fully understood if he were awake; but now they were the most amazing words he had ever heard. She kissed him too, but not on the mouth. He felt her sharp kisses on his white throat, and he knew her lips were red. So the wild dream raced on through twilight, darkness, and moonrise, and all the glory of the summer night. But in the chilly dawn, he lay as if half dead upon the mound down there, recalling and not recalling, drained of his blood yet strangely longing to give those red lips more. Then came the fear, the terrible nameless panic, the mortal horror that lurks at the edges of the unseen world, which we don’t know like we know other things, but we feel it when its icy chill freezes our bones and stirs our hair with the touch of a ghostly hand. Once more, Angelo jumped up from the mound[Pg 188] and fled up the gorge into the breaking day, but his steps were less steady this time, and he gasped for breath as he ran. When he reached the bright spring of water that rises halfway up the hillside, he dropped to his knees and hands, plunged his face into it, and drank like he never had before—for it was the thirst of a wounded man who had lain bleeding all night on the battlefield.
She had him fast now, and he could not escape her, but would come to her every evening at dusk until she had drained him of his last drop of blood. It was in vain that when the day was done he tried to take another turning and to go home by a path that did not lead near the gorge. It was in vain that he made promises to himself each morning at dawn when he climbed the lonely way up from the shore to the village. It was all in vain, for when the sun sank burning into the sea, and the coolness of the evening stole out as from a hiding-place to delight the weary world, his feet turned toward the old way, and she was waiting for him in the shadow under the chestnut trees; and then all happened as before, and she fell to kissing his white throat even as she flitted lightly down the way, winding one arm about him. And as his blood failed, she grew more hungry and more thirsty every day, and every day when he[Pg 189] awoke in the early dawn it was harder to rouse himself to the effort of climbing the steep path to the village; and when he went to his work his feet dragged painfully, and there was hardly strength in his arms to wield the heavy hoe. He scarcely spoke to any one now, but the people said he was "consuming himself" for love of the girl he was to have married when he lost his inheritance; and they laughed heartily at the thought, for this is not a very romantic country. At this time, Antonio, the man who stays here to look after the tower, returned from a visit to his people, who live near Salerno. He had been away all the time since before Alario's death and knew nothing of what had happened. He has told me that he came back late in the afternoon and shut himself up in the tower to eat and sleep, for he was very tired. It was past midnight when he awoke, and when he looked out the waning moon was rising over the shoulder of the hill. He looked out toward the mound, and he saw something, and he did not sleep again that night. When he went out again in the morning it was broad daylight, and there was nothing to be seen on the mound but loose stones and driven sand. Yet he did not go very near it; he went straight up the path to the village and directly to the house of the old priest.
She had him trapped now, and he couldn’t escape her, but he would come to her every evening at dusk until she had drained him of his last drop of blood. It was pointless that when the day ended, he tried to take another route and head home via a path that didn’t lead near the gorge. It was useless that he made promises to himself every morning at dawn when he climbed the lonely path from the shore to the village. It was all in vain, for when the sun sank into the sea, and the evening coolness crept out as if from hiding to refresh the tired world, his feet turned toward the familiar path, and she was waiting for him in the shade under the chestnut trees; then everything happened as before, and she began kissing his pale throat even as she lightly glided down the path, wrapping one arm around him. As his blood diminished, her hunger grew stronger every day, and each morning when he [Pg 189] woke at dawn, it was harder to motivate himself to climb the steep path to the village; and when he went to work, his feet dragged painfully, and he barely had the strength in his arms to handle the heavy hoe. He hardly spoke to anyone now, but people said he was "wasting away" for love of the girl he was supposed to marry when he lost his inheritance; and they laughed heartily at the thought, for this isn’t a very romantic place. At this time, Antonio, the man who stays here to look after the tower, returned from a visit to his family near Salerno. He had been away the entire time since before Alario's death and didn’t know what had happened. He told me that he came back late in the afternoon and locked himself in the tower to eat and sleep, as he was very tired. It was past midnight when he woke up, and when he looked out, the waning moon was rising over the hill. He glanced toward the mound and saw something, and he couldn’t sleep again that night. When he went out again in the morning, it was broad daylight, and there was nothing to see on the mound but loose stones and blown sand. Yet he didn’t go very close; he went straight up the path to the village and directly to the old priest’s house.
"I have seen an evil thing this night," he said; "I have seen how the dead drink the blood of the living. And the blood is the life."
"I witnessed something wicked tonight," he said; "I saw how the dead consume the blood of the living. And the blood is life."
"Tell me what you have seen," said the priest in reply.
"Tell me what you've seen," said the priest in response.
Antonio told him everything he had seen.
Antonio told him everything he had seen.
"You must bring your book and your holy water to-night," he added. "I will be here before sunset to go down with you, and if it pleases your reverence to sup with me while we wait, I will make ready."
"You need to bring your book and your holy water tonight," he added. "I’ll be here before sunset to go down with you, and if it works for you to have dinner with me while we wait, I’ll get everything ready."
"I will come," the priest answered, "for I have read in old books of these strange beings which are neither quick nor dead, and which lie ever fresh in their graves, stealing out in the dusk to taste life and blood."
"I'll come," the priest replied, "because I've read in old books about these strange beings that are neither alive nor dead, who stay fresh in their graves and sneak out at dusk to experience life and blood."
Antonio cannot read, but he was glad to see that the priest understood the business; for, of course, the books must have instructed him as to the best means of quieting the half-living Thing for ever.
Antonio can’t read, but he was happy to see that the priest knew what he was doing; because, obviously, the books had taught him the best way to put the half-alive Thing to rest for good.
So Antonio went away to his work, which consists largely in sitting on the shady side of the tower, when he is not perched upon a rock with a fishing-line catching nothing. But on that day he went twice to look at the mound in the bright sunlight, and he searched round and round it for some hole through which the being might get in[Pg 191] and out; but he found none. When the sun began to sink and the air was cooler in the shadows, he went up to fetch the old priest, carrying a little wicker basket with him; and in this they placed a bottle of holy water, and the basin, and sprinkler, and the stole which the priest would need; and they came down and waited in the door of the tower till it should be dark. But while the light still lingered very grey and faint, they saw something moving, just there, two figures, a man's that walked, and a woman's that flitted beside him, and while her head lay on his shoulder she kissed his throat. The priest has told me that, too, and that his teeth chattered and he grasped Antonio's arm. The vision passed and disappeared into the shadow. Then Antonio got the leathern flask of strong liquor, which he kept for great occasions, and poured such a draught as made the old man feel almost young again; and he got the lantern, and his pick and shovel, and gave the priest his stole to put on and the holy water to carry, and they went out together toward the spot where the work was to be done. Antonio says that in spite of the rum his own knees shook together, and the priest stumbled over his Latin. For when they were yet a few yards from the mound the flickering light of the lantern fell upon Angelo's white face, unconscious as if in[Pg 192] sleep, and on his upturned throat, over which a very thin red line of blood trickled down into his collar; and the flickering light of the lantern played upon another face that looked up from the feast—upon two deep, dead eyes that saw in spite of death—upon parted lips redder than life itself—upon two gleaming teeth on which glistened a rosy drop. Then the priest, good old man, shut his eyes tight and showered holy water before him, and his cracked voice rose almost to a scream; and then Antonio, who is no coward after all, raised his pick in one hand and the lantern in the other, as he sprang forward, not knowing what the end should be; and then he swears that he heard a woman's cry, and the Thing was gone, and Angelo lay alone on the mound unconscious, with the red line on his throat and the beads of deathly sweat on his cold forehead. They lifted him, half-dead as he was, and laid him on the ground close by; then Antonio went to work, and the priest helped him, though he was old and could not do much; and they dug deep, and at last Antonio, standing in the grave, stooped down with his lantern to see what he might see.
So Antonio went off to work, which mostly involved sitting in the shade of the tower, when he wasn’t sitting on a rock trying to fish but catching nothing. But that day, he went to check out the mound twice in the bright sunlight, searching around it for some hole that might let a being in and out; but he found nothing. As the sun began to set and the air cooled in the shadows, he went to get the old priest, bringing a little wicker basket with him. Inside, they placed a bottle of holy water, a basin, a sprinkler, and the stole that the priest would need. They came down and waited at the tower door until it got dark. While the light still lingered, grey and faint, they saw something moving—two figures, a man walking and a woman flitting beside him, and with her head resting on his shoulder, she kissed his throat. The priest told me that too, and that his teeth chattered and he grabbed Antonio’s arm. The vision faded and vanished into the shadows. Then Antonio grabbed the leather flask of strong liquor he kept for special occasions and poured a drink that made the old man feel almost young again. He got the lantern, his pick and shovel, handed the priest his stole to put on and the holy water to carry, and they set off together toward the spot where they needed to work. Antonio says that despite the rum, his knees were shaking, and the priest stumbled over his Latin. When they were just a few yards from the mound, the flickering light of the lantern fell on Angelo’s pale face, looking as if he were in sleep, and on his upturned throat, where a thin trickle of blood ran down into his collar; and the flickering lantern light shone on another face looking up from the feast—two deep, lifeless eyes that saw despite being dead—redder-than-life parted lips—two gleaming teeth with a rosy drop on them. Then the priest, the good old man, shut his eyes tight and sprinkled holy water in front of him, his shaky voice rising almost to a scream. Then Antonio, who is no coward after all, raised his pick in one hand and the lantern in the other as he jumped forward, not knowing what would happen next; and he swears he heard a woman’s cry, and the Thing was gone, leaving Angelo lying alone on the mound, unconscious, with the red line on his throat and beads of deathly sweat on his cold forehead. They lifted him, half-dead as he was, and laid him on the ground nearby; then Antonio got to work, and the priest helped him, though he was old and couldn’t do much; they dug deep, and finally, Antonio, standing in the grave, leaned down with his lantern to see what he could find.
His hair used to be dark brown, with grizzled streaks about the temples; in less than a month from that day he was as grey as a badger. He was a miner when he was young, and most of these[Pg 193] fellows have seen ugly sights now and then, when accidents have happened, but he had never seen what he saw that night—that Thing which is neither alive nor dead, that Thing that will abide neither above ground nor in the grave. Antonio had brought something with him which the priest had not noticed. He had made it that afternoon—a sharp stake shaped from a piece of tough old driftwood. He had it with him now, and he had his heavy pick, and he had taken the lantern down into the grave. I don't think any power on earth could make him speak of what happened then, and the old priest was too frightened to look in. He says he heard Antonio breathing like a wild beast, and moving as if he were fighting with something almost as strong as himself; and he heard an evil sound also, with blows, as of something violently driven through flesh and bone; and then the most awful sound of all—a woman's shriek, the unearthly scream of a woman neither dead nor alive, but buried deep for many days. And he, the poor old priest, could only rock himself as he knelt there in the sand, crying aloud his prayers and exorcisms to drown these dreadful sounds. Then suddenly a small iron-bound chest was thrown up and rolled over against the old man's knee, and in a moment more Antonio was beside him, his face as white as tallow in the flickering light of the lantern, [Pg 194]shovelling the sand and pebbles into the grave with furious haste, and looking over the edge till the pit was half full; and the priest said that there was much fresh blood on Antonio's hands and on his clothes.
His hair used to be dark brown, with gray streaks at the temples; less than a month later, he was as gray as a badger. He was a miner when he was younger, and most of these[Pg 193] guys have seen some pretty ugly sights now and then when accidents happened, but he had never witnessed what he saw that night—that Thing that is neither alive nor dead, that Thing that won't exist above ground or in the grave. Antonio had brought something with him that the priest hadn’t noticed. He had made it that afternoon—a sharp stake carved from a piece of tough old driftwood. He had it with him now, and he had his heavy pick, and he had taken the lantern down into the grave. I don’t think any power on earth could make him talk about what happened next, and the old priest was too terrified to look in. He said he heard Antonio breathing like a wild animal, struggling as if he were fighting something nearly as strong as he was; and he heard an evil sound too, with blows like something being violently driven through flesh and bone; and then the most horrifying sound of all—a woman’s scream, the unearthly cry of a woman who was neither dead nor alive, but buried deep for many days. And he, the poor old priest, could only rock himself as he knelt there in the sand, crying out his prayers and exorcisms to drown out those dreadful sounds. Then suddenly, a small iron-bound chest was thrown up and rolled over against the old man’s knee, and in a moment, Antonio was beside him, his face as pale as wax in the flickering light of the lantern, [Pg 194] shoveling the sand and pebbles into the grave with frantic urgency, looking over the edge until the pit was half full; and the priest said there was a lot of fresh blood on Antonio’s hands and clothes.
I had come to the end of my story. Holger finished his wine and leaned back in his chair.
I had reached the conclusion of my story. Holger finished his wine and relaxed in his chair.
"So Angelo got his own again," he said. "Did he marry the prim and plump young person to whom he had been betrothed?"
"So Angelo got his way again," he said. "Did he marry the proper and chubby young woman he was engaged to?"
"No; he had been badly frightened. He went to South America, and has not been heard of since."
"No; he had been really scared. He went to South America, and hasn't been heard from since."
"And that poor thing's body is there still, I suppose," said Holger. "Is it quite dead yet, I wonder?"
"And that poor thing's body is still there, I guess," said Holger. "I wonder if it’s completely dead yet?"
I wonder, too. But whether it be dead or alive, I should hardly care to see it, even in broad daylight. Antonio is as grey as a badger, and he has never been quite the same man since that night.
I wonder about that too. But whether it's dead or alive, I really wouldn't want to see it, even in broad daylight. Antonio is as gray as a badger, and he's never been quite the same since that night.
THE TOP BUNK
THE UPPER BERTH
THE TOP BUNK
CHAPTER 1
Somebody asked for the cigars. We had talked long, and the conversation was beginning to languish; the tobacco smoke had got into the heavy curtains, the wine had got into those brains which were liable to become heavy, and it was already perfectly evident that, unless somebody did something to rouse our oppressed spirits, the meeting would soon come to its natural conclusion, and we, the guests, would speedily go home to bed, and most certainly to sleep. No one had said anything very remarkable; it may be that no one had anything very remarkable to say. Jones had given us every particular of his last hunting adventure in Yorkshire. Mr. Tompkins, of Boston, had explained at elaborate length those working principles, by the due and careful maintenance of which the Atchison, Topeka, and Santa Fé Railroad not only extended its territory, increased its departmental influence, and transported live stock without starving them to death before the day of actual delivery, but, also, had for years succeeded in[Pg 198] deceiving those passengers who bought its tickets into the fallacious belief that the corporation aforesaid was really able to transport human life without destroying it. Signor Tombola had endeavoured to persuade us, by arguments which we took no trouble to oppose, that the unity of his country in no way resembled the average modern torpedo, carefully planned, constructed with all the skill of the greatest European arsenals, but, when constructed, destined to be directed by feeble hands into a region where it must undoubtedly explode, unseen, unfeared, and unheard, into the illimitable wastes of political chaos.
Somebody asked for the cigars. We had been talking for a while, and the conversation was starting to dwindle; the tobacco smoke had settled into the heavy curtains, the wine was affecting the minds that were prone to get sluggish, and it was already clear that, unless someone did something to lift our spirits, the gathering would soon come to its natural end, and we, the guests, would quickly head home to bed, likely to sleep. No one had said anything particularly remarkable; maybe no one had anything special to share. Jones had given us all the details of his last hunting trip in Yorkshire. Mr. Tompkins, from Boston, had extensively explained those operational principles that allowed the Atchison, Topeka, and Santa Fé Railroad not only to expand its territory, enhance its departmental influence, and transport livestock without letting them starve to death before delivery, but also, for years, to trick passengers into the misguided belief that the company could actually transport human beings without harming them. Signor Tombola had tried to convince us, with arguments we didn’t bother to counter, that the unity of his country was in no way like the average modern torpedo, which is carefully designed and built with all the skill of the top European arsenals, but once made, is destined to be directed by weak hands into an area where it will undoubtedly explode, unseen, unheeded, and unheard, into the endless void of political chaos.
It is unnecessary to go into further details. The conversation had assumed proportions which would have bored Prometheus on his rock, which would have driven Tantalus to distraction, and which would have impelled Ixion to seek relaxation in the simple but instructive dialogues of Herr Ollendorff, rather than submit to the greater evil of listening to our talk. We had sat at table for hours; we were bored, we were tired, and nobody showed signs of moving.
It’s not necessary to elaborate any further. The conversation had reached a point that would have bored Prometheus on his rock, driven Tantalus to madness, and made Ixion prefer the straightforward yet educational dialogues of Herr Ollendorff over the misery of listening to us. We had been sitting at the table for hours; we were bored, we were tired, and nobody seemed ready to leave.
Somebody called for cigars. We all instinctively looked towards the speaker. Brisbane was a man of five-and-thirty years of age, and remarkable for those gifts which chiefly attract the attention of men. He was a strong man. The external [Pg 199]proportions of his figure presented nothing extraordinary to the common eye, though his size was about the average. He was a little over six feet in height, and moderately broad in the shoulder; he did not appear to be stout, but, on the other hand, he was certainly not thin; his small head, was supported by a strong and sinewy neck; his broad, muscular hands appeared to possess a peculiar skill in breaking walnuts without the assistance of the ordinary cracker, and seeing him in profile, one could not help remarking the extraordinary breadth of his sleeves, and the unusual thickness of his chest. He was one of those men who are commonly spoken of among men as deceptive; that is to say, that though he looked exceedingly strong he was in reality very much stronger than he looked. Of his features I need say little. His head is small, his hair is thin, his eyes are blue, his nose is large, he has a small moustache and a square jaw. Everybody knows Brisbane, and when he asked for a cigar everybody looked at him.
Somebody called for cigars. We all instinctively looked at the speaker. Brisbane was a man in his mid-thirties, known for the traits that mostly grab men's attention. He was a strong guy. His overall appearance didn’t look extraordinary to the average person, though he was about average size. He was just over six feet tall and had moderately broad shoulders; he didn’t seem overweight, but he definitely wasn’t skinny either. His small head was supported by a strong, muscular neck; his large hands seemed especially skilled at breaking walnuts without a nutcracker. Seeing him in profile, you couldn’t help but notice the remarkable width of his sleeves and the unusual thickness of his chest. He was one of those guys often described as deceptive, meaning that even though he looked very strong, he was actually much stronger than he appeared. I don’t need to say much about his features. He had a small head, thin hair, blue eyes, a large nose, a small mustache, and a square jaw. Everyone knows Brisbane, and when he asked for a cigar, everyone looked at him.
"It is a very singular thing," said Brisbane.
"It’s a really unique thing," said Brisbane.
Everybody stopped talking. Brisbane's voice was not loud, but possessed a peculiar quality of penetrating general conversation, and cutting it like a knife. Everybody listened. Brisbane, perceiving that he had attracted their general attention, lit his cigar with great equanimity.
Everybody stopped talking. Brisbane's voice wasn't loud, but it had a unique way of cutting through the general conversation like a knife. Everyone listened. Brisbane, noticing that he had caught their attention, lit his cigar with calm confidence.
"It is very singular," he continued, "that thing about ghosts. People are always asking whether anybody has seen a ghost. I have."
"It’s quite unusual," he continued, "that thing about ghosts. People are always asking if anyone has seen a ghost. I have."
"Bosh! What, you? You don't mean to say so, Brisbane? Well, for a man of his intelligence!"
"Bosh! What, you? You can't be serious, Brisbane? Well, for a guy as smart as him!"
A chorus of exclamations greeted Brisbane's remarkable statement. Everybody called for cigars, and Stubbs, the butler, suddenly appeared from the depths of nowhere with a fresh bottle of dry champagne. The situation was saved; Brisbane was going to tell a story.
A chorus of exclamations greeted Brisbane's amazing statement. Everyone called for cigars, and Stubbs, the butler, suddenly appeared out of nowhere with a fresh bottle of dry champagne. The situation was saved; Brisbane was about to tell a story.
I am an old sailor, said Brisbane, and as I have to cross the Atlantic pretty often, I have my favourites. Most men have their favourites. I have seen a man wait in a Broadway bar for three-quarters of an hour for a particular car which he liked. I believe the bar-keeper made at least one-third of his living by that man's preference. I have a habit of waiting for certain ships when I am obliged to cross that duck-pond. It may be a prejudice, but I was never cheated out of a good passage but once in my life. I remember it very well; it was a warm morning in June, and the Custom House officials, who were hanging about waiting for a steamer already on her way up from the Quarantine, presented a peculiarly hazy and thoughtful appearance. I had not much luggage—I never have. I mingled with a crowd of[Pg 201] passengers, porters, and officious individuals in blue coats and brass buttons, who seemed to spring up like mushrooms from the deck of a moored steamer to obtrude their unnecessary services upon the independent passenger. I have often noticed with a certain interest the spontaneous evolution of these fellows. They are not there when you arrive; five minutes after the pilot has called "Go ahead!" they, or at least their blue coats and brass buttons, have disappeared from deck and gangway as completely as though they had been consigned to that locker which tradition unanimously ascribes to Davy Jones. But, at the moment of starting, they are there, clean shaved, blue coated, and ravenous for fees. I hastened on board. The Kamtschatka was one of my favourite ships. I say was, because she emphatically no longer is. I cannot conceive of any inducement which could entice me to make another voyage in her. Yes, I know what you are going to say. She is uncommonly clean in the run aft, she has enough bluffing off in the bows to keep her dry, and the lower berths are most of them double. She has a lot of advantages, but I won't cross in her again. Excuse the digression. I got on board. I hailed a steward, whose red nose and redder whiskers were equally familiar to me.
I’m an old sailor, Brisbane said, and since I have to cross the Atlantic pretty often, I have my favorite ships. Most guys have their favorites. I’ve seen a guy wait in a Broadway bar for over forty-five minutes for a specific car he liked. I think the bartender made at least a third of his income off that guy's choice. I tend to wait for certain ships when I need to cross that pond. It might be a bias, but I’ve only ever been cheated out of a good trip once in my life. I remember it clearly; it was a warm June morning, and the Customs officials, who were hanging around waiting for a steamer already on its way from Quarantine, looked particularly hazy and contemplative. I didn’t have much luggage—I never do. I blended in with a crowd of[Pg 201] passengers, porters, and pushy guys in blue coats and brass buttons, who seemed to pop up like mushrooms from the deck of a moored steamer, eager to offer their unnecessary help to independent travelers. I’ve often found it interesting how these guys suddenly appear. They’re nowhere to be seen when you arrive; five minutes after the pilot calls out, “Go ahead!” they, or at least their blue coats and brass buttons, vanish from the deck and gangway as if they’ve been sent to that locker that tradition says belongs to Davy Jones. But right at the start, they’re there, clean-shaven, in blue coats, and hungry for tips. I hurried on board. The Kamtschatka was one of my favorite ships. I say “was” because she definitely isn’t anymore. I can't think of anything that could convince me to take another trip on her. Yes, I know what you’re going to say. She’s remarkably clean in the aft section, she has enough bow shape to keep her dry, and most of the lower berths are doubles. She has quite a few advantages, but I won’t sail on her again. Sorry for the digression. I got on board and called for a steward, whose red nose and even redder whiskers were very familiar to me.
"One hundred and five, lower berth," said I, in the businesslike tone peculiar to men who think[Pg 202] no more of crossing the Atlantic than taking a whiskey cocktail at down-town Delmonico's.
"One hundred and five, lower berth," I said, in the serious tone typical of men who think[Pg 202] nothing of crossing the Atlantic, just like having a whiskey cocktail at downtown Delmonico's.
The steward took my portmanteau, greatcoat, and rug. I shall never forget the expression of his face. Not that he turned pale. It is maintained by the most eminent divines that even miracles cannot change the course of nature. I have no hesitation in saying that he did not turn pale; but, from his expression, I judged that he was either about to shed tears, to sneeze, or to drop my portmanteau. As the latter contained two bottles of particularly fine old sherry presented to me for my voyage by my old friend Snigginson van Pickyns, I felt extremely nervous. But the steward did none of these things.
The steward took my suitcase, overcoat, and rug. I will never forget the look on his face. Not that he went pale. It's said by the most respected scholars that even miracles can't change the natural order of things. I’m confident in saying he did not go pale; however, from his expression, I could tell he was either about to cry, sneeze, or drop my suitcase. Since the suitcase had two bottles of particularly fine old sherry given to me for my journey by my old friend Snigginson van Pickyns, I felt extremely anxious. But the steward did none of those things.
"Well, I'm d——d!" said he in a low voice, and led the way.
"Well, I’m damned!" he said quietly, and took the lead.
I supposed my Hermes, as he led me to the lower regions, had had a little grog, but I said nothing and followed him. 105 was on the port side, well aft. There was nothing remarkable about the state-room. The lower berth, like most of those upon the Kamtschatka, was double. There was plenty of room; there was the usual washing apparatus, calculated to convey an idea of luxury to the mind of a North American Indian; there were the usual inefficient racks of brown wood, in which it is more easy to hang a [Pg 203]large-sized umbrella than the common tooth-brush of commerce. Upon the uninviting mattresses were carefully folded together those blankets which a great modern humourist has aptly compared to cold buckwheat cakes. The question of towels was left entirely to the imagination. The glass decanters were filled with a transparent liquid faintly tinged with brown, but from which an odour less faint, but not more pleasing, ascended to the nostrils, like a far-off sea-sick reminiscence of oily machinery. Sad-coloured curtains half closed the upper berth. The hazy June daylight shed a faint illumination upon the desolate little scene. Ugh! how I hate that state-room!
I figured my guide, Hermes, had a bit to drink as he took me to the lower decks, but I kept my mouth shut and followed him. 105 was on the left side, towards the back. The cabin wasn't anything special. The lower bunk, like most on the Kamtschatka, was a double. There was plenty of space; it had the typical washing setup, designed to impress a North American Indian; there were the usual useless racks made of brown wood, where it's easier to hang a [Pg 203]large umbrella than the typical toothbrush. On the uncomfortable mattresses lay those blankets, which a well-known modern comedian has humorously compared to cold buckwheat pancakes. The towel situation was completely left to your imagination. The glass carafes were filled with a clear liquid that had a slight brown tint, but which gave off an odor that was stronger, yet not any more pleasant, reminiscent of seasickness and oily machines. Dull curtains partially covered the upper bunk. The hazy June sunlight barely lit up the dreary little scene. Ugh! how I despise that cabin!
The steward deposited my traps and looked at me as though he wanted to get away—probably in search of more passengers and more fees. It is always a good plan to start in favour with those functionaries, and I accordingly gave him certain coins there and then.
The steward dropped off my traps and looked at me like he wanted to leave—probably to find more passengers and collect more fees. It’s always a smart move to start off on the right foot with those workers, so I gave him some change right then and there.
"I'll try and make yer comfortable all I can," he remarked, as he put the coins in his pocket. Nevertheless, there was a doubtful intonation in his voice which surprised me. Possibly his scale of fees had gone up, and he was not satisfied; but on the whole I was inclined to think that, as he himself would have expressed it, he was "the better for a glass." I was wrong, however, and did the man injustice.
"I'll do my best to make you comfortable," he said while putting the coins in his pocket. However, there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice that caught me off guard. Maybe his prices had increased, and he wasn't pleased; but overall, I thought he could use "a drink." I was mistaken, though, and misjudged him.
CHAPTER 2
Nothing especially worthy of mention occurred during that day. We left the pier punctually, and it was very pleasant to be fairly under way, for the weather was warm and sultry, and the motion of the steamer produced a refreshing breeze. Everybody knows what the first day at sea is like. People pace the decks and stare at each other, and occasionally meet acquaintances whom they did not know to be on board. There is the usual uncertainty as to whether the food will be good, bad, or indifferent, until the first two meals have put the matter beyond a doubt; there is the usual uncertainty about the weather, until the ship is fairly off Fire Island. The tables are crowded at first, and then suddenly thinned. Pale-faced people spring from their seats and precipitate themselves towards the door, and each old sailor breathes more freely as his seasick neighbour rushes from his side, leaving him plenty of elbow-room and an unlimited command over the mustard.
Nothing particularly noteworthy happened that day. We left the dock right on time, and it felt great to be officially on our way, as the weather was warm and humid, and the ship's movement created a refreshing breeze. Everyone knows what the first day at sea is like. People stroll the decks and look at each other, and now and then run into acquaintances they didn’t realize were on board. There’s the usual uncertainty about whether the food will be good, bad, or mediocre, until the first two meals settle that question; and the usual uncertainty about the weather, until the ship is well past Fire Island. The dining tables start out crowded, and then suddenly thin out. Pale-faced people jump up from their seats and rush toward the exit, and every old sailor breathes a sigh of relief as his seasick neighbor hurries away, leaving him with plenty of elbow room and full access to the mustard.
One passage across the Atlantic is very much like another, and we who cross very often do not make the voyage for the sake of novelty. Whales and icebergs are indeed always objects of interest, but, after all, one whale is very much like another whale, and one rarely sees an iceberg at close[Pg 205] quarters. To the majority of us the most delightful moment of the day on board an ocean steamer is when we have taken our last turn on deck, have smoked our last cigar, and having succeeded in tiring ourselves, feel at liberty to turn in with a clear conscience. On that first night of the voyage I felt particularly lazy, and went to bed in 105 rather earlier than I usually do. As I turned in, I was amazed to see that I was to have a companion. A portmanteau, very like my own, lay in the opposite corner, and in the upper berth had been deposited a neatly folded rug, with a stick and umbrella. I had hoped to be alone, and I was disappointed; but I wondered who my room-mate was to be, and I determined to have a look at him.
One trip across the Atlantic is pretty much the same as another, and those of us who travel often don't do it for the novelty. Whales and icebergs are definitely interesting, but really, one whale looks a lot like another, and you rarely get to see an iceberg up close[Pg 205]. For most of us, the best part of the day on an ocean steamer is when we've taken our last stroll on deck, smoked our last cigar, and after tiring ourselves out, feel free to turn in without any guilt. On that first night of the trip, I felt especially lazy and went to bed much earlier than usual. As I settled in, I was surprised to find I had a roommate. A suitcase that looked just like mine was in the opposite corner, and in the upper berth, there was a neatly folded blanket, along with a stick and an umbrella. I had hoped to be alone, so I was a bit disappointed; but I was curious about who my roommate would be, and I decided to check him out.
Before I had been long in bed he entered. He was, as far as I could see, a very tall man, very thin, very pale, with sandy hair and whiskers and colourless grey eyes. He had about him, I thought, an air of rather dubious fashion; the sort of man you might see in Wall Street, without being able precisely to say what he was doing there—the sort of man who frequents the Café Anglais, who always seems to be alone and who drinks champagne; you might meet him on a racecourse, but he would never appear to be doing anything there either. A little over-dressed—a little odd. There are three or four of his kind on every ocean steamer.[Pg 206] I made up my mind that I did not care to make his acquaintance, and I went to sleep saying to myself that I would study his habits in order to avoid him. If he rose early, I would rise late; if he went to bed late I would go to bed early. I did not care to know him. If you once know people of that kind, they are always turning up. Poor fellow! I need not have taken the trouble to come to so many decisions about him, for I never saw him again after that first night in 105.
Before I'd been in bed for long, he came in. He was, as far as I could tell, a really tall guy, very thin, very pale, with sandy hair and a scraggly beard and colorless gray eyes. He had this sort of questionable style about him; the kind of person you might spot in Wall Street without quite knowing what he was up to—someone who hangs out at the Café Anglais, who always seems to be by himself and drinks champagne; you might run into him at a racetrack, but he never seems to have any purpose there either. A bit over-dressed—a little off. There are a few people like him on every ocean liner.[Pg 206] I decided I didn’t want to get to know him, and I went to sleep telling myself that I would observe his routine to steer clear of him. If he woke up early, I would sleep in; if he went to bed late, I would hit the hay early. I really didn’t want to know him. Once you get to know people like that, they keep showing up. Poor guy! I really didn’t need to put so much thought into him, because I never saw him again after that first night in 105.
I was sleeping soundly when I was suddenly waked by a loud noise. To judge from the sound, my room-mate must have sprung with a single leap from the upper berth to the floor. I heard him fumbling with the latch and bolt of the door, which opened almost immediately, and then I heard his footsteps as he ran at full speed down the passage, leaving the door open behind him. The ship was rolling a little, and I expected to hear him stumble or fall, but he ran as though he were running for his life. The door swung on its hinges with the motion of the vessel, and the sound annoyed me. I got up and shut it, and groped my way back to my berth in the darkness. I went to sleep again; but I have no idea how long I slept.
I was sleeping peacefully when I was suddenly awakened by a loud noise. Judging by the sound, my roommate must have jumped from the upper bunk to the floor in one leap. I heard him fumbling with the door's latch and bolt, which opened almost immediately, and then I heard his footsteps as he sprinted down the hallway, leaving the door wide open behind him. The ship was rocking a bit, and I expected to hear him trip or fall, but he ran as if he were running for his life. The door swung back and forth with the motion of the vessel, and the noise annoyed me. I got up and shut it, then stumbled my way back to my bunk in the dark. I went back to sleep; however, I have no idea how long I slept.
When I awoke it was still quite dark, but I felt a disagreeable sensation of cold, and it seemed to me that the air was damp. You know the[Pg 207] peculiar smell of a cabin which has been wet with sea-water. I covered myself up as well as I could and dozed off again, framing complaints to be made the next day, and selecting the most powerful epithets in the language. I could hear my room-mate turn over in the upper berth. He had probably returned while I was asleep. Once I thought I heard him groan, and I argued that he was sea-sick. That is particularly unpleasant when one is below. Nevertheless I dozed off and slept till early daylight.
When I woke up, it was still pretty dark, but I felt an uncomfortable chill and it seemed like the air was damp. You know the[Pg 207] distinct smell of a cabin that’s gotten wet from the sea. I wrapped myself up as best as I could and dozed off again, planning out my complaints for the next day and picking out the strongest words to use. I could hear my roommate shifting in the upper bunk. He must have come back while I was asleep. Once, I thought I heard him groan, and I guessed that he was feeling seasick. That’s especially unpleasant when you’re below deck. Still, I dozed off and slept until early morning.
The ship was rolling heavily, much more than on the previous evening, and the grey light which came in through the porthole changed in tint with every movement according as the angle of the vessel's side turned the glass seawards or skywards. It was very cold—unaccountably so for the month of June. I turned my head and looked at the porthole, and saw to my surprise that it was wide open and hooked back. I believe I swore audibly. Then I got up and shut it. As I turned back I glanced at the upper berth. The curtains were drawn close together; my companion had probably felt cold as well as I. It struck me that I had slept enough. The state-room was uncomfortable, though, strange to say, I could not smell the dampness which had annoyed me in the night. My room-mate was still asleep[Pg 208]—excellent opportunity for avoiding him, so I dressed at once and went on deck. The day was warm and cloudy, with an oily smell on the water. It was seven o'clock as I came out—much later than I had imagined. I came across the doctor, who was taking his first sniff of the morning air. He was a young man from the West of Ireland—a tremendous fellow, with black hair and blue eyes, already inclined to be stout; he had a happy-go-lucky, healthy look about him which was rather attractive.
The ship was rocking a lot more than it had the night before, and the gray light coming through the porthole changed color with every movement as the angle of the boat tilted the glass towards the sea or the sky. It was freezing—strangely so for June. I turned my head and noticed that the porthole was wide open and secured back. I think I muttered a curse. Then I got up and closed it. As I turned back, I glanced at the upper bunk. The curtains were pulled tight; my roommate probably felt as cold as I did. I realized I had slept enough. The state room was uncomfortable, yet oddly, I couldn’t smell the dampness that had bothered me during the night. My roommate was still asleep[Pg 208]—a great chance to avoid him, so I quickly got dressed and went on deck. The day was warm and overcast, with an oily smell coming off the water. It was seven o'clock when I stepped outside—much later than I thought. I ran into the doctor, who was taking his first breath of morning air. He was a young guy from the West of Ireland—a robust fellow, with black hair and blue eyes, already a bit stocky; he had a carefree, healthy vibe that was quite appealing.
"Fine morning," I remarked, by way of introduction.
"Nice morning," I said to start the conversation.
"Well," said he, eyeing me with an air of ready interest, "it's a fine morning and it's not a fine morning. I don't think it's much of a morning."
"Well," he said, looking at me with a hint of curiosity, "it's a nice morning and it's not a nice morning. I don't think it's much of a morning."
"Well, no—it is not so very fine," said I.
"Well, no—it’s not that great," I said.
"It's just what I call fuggly weather," replied the doctor.
"It's just what I refer to as fuggly weather," the doctor replied.
"It was very cold last night, I thought," I remarked. "However, when I looked about, I found that the porthole was wide open. I had not noticed it when I went to bed. And the state-room was damp, too."
"It was really cold last night, I thought," I said. "But when I looked around, I realized the porthole was wide open. I hadn't noticed it when I went to bed. And the state-room felt damp, too."
"Damp!" said he. "Whereabouts are you?"
"Damp!" he said. "Where are you?"
"One hundred and five—"
"105—"
To my surprise the doctor started visibly, and stared at me.
To my surprise, the doctor jumped and stared at me.
"What is the matter?" I asked.
"What's up?" I asked.
"Oh—nothing," he answered; "only everybody has complained of that state-room for the last three trips."
"Oh—nothing," he replied; "it’s just that everyone has been complaining about that cabin for the last three trips."
"I shall complain, too," I said. "It has certainly not been properly aired. It is a shame!"
"I'll complain too," I said. "It definitely hasn't been aired out properly. It's a shame!"
"I don't believe it can be helped," answered the doctor. "I believe there is something—well, it is not my business to frighten passengers."
"I don't think there's much we can do," the doctor replied. "I believe there's something—well, it's not my job to scare the passengers."
"You need not be afraid of frightening me," I replied. "I can stand any amount of damp. If I should get a bad cold, I will come to you."
"You don't have to worry about scaring me," I replied. "I can handle any level of dampness. If I do catch a bad cold, I’ll come see you."
I offered the doctor a cigar, which he took and examined very critically.
I offered the doctor a cigar, which he took and looked at very closely.
"It is not so much the damp," he remarked. "However, I dare say you will get on very well. Have you a room-mate?"
"It’s not really the damp," he said. "But I’m sure you’ll do just fine. Do you have a roommate?"
"Yes; a deuce of a fellow, who bolts out in the middle of the night, and leaves the door open."
"Yeah; what a guy, who rushes out in the middle of the night and leaves the door wide open."
Again the doctor glanced curiously at me. Then he lit the cigar and looked grave.
Again, the doctor looked at me with curiosity. Then he lit the cigar and appeared serious.
"Did he come back?" he asked presently.
"Did he come back?" he asked after a moment.
"Yes. I was asleep, but I waked up, and heard him moving. Then I felt cold and went to sleep again. This morning I found the porthole open."
"Yeah. I was asleep, but I woke up and heard him moving. Then I felt cold and went back to sleep. This morning I found the porthole open."
"Look here," said the doctor quietly, "I don't[Pg 210] care much for this ship. I don't care a rap for her reputation. I tell you what I will do. I have a good-sized place up here. I will share it with you, though I don't know you from Adam."
"Listen," the doctor said softly, "I don't[Pg 210] really like this ship. I don't care at all about her reputation. Here's what I'll do: I have a decent-sized place up here, and I'll share it with you, even though I don't know you at all."
I was very much surprised at the proposition. I could not imagine why he should take such a sudden interest in my welfare. However, his manner, as he spoke of the ship, was peculiar.
I was really surprised by the suggestion. I couldn't understand why he would suddenly care about my well-being. However, the way he talked about the ship was strange.
"You are very good, doctor," I said. "But, really, I believe even now the cabin could be aired, or cleaned out, or something. Why do you not care for the ship?"
"You’re really good, doctor," I said. "But honestly, I think the cabin could still use some fresh air, or a cleaning, or something. Why don’t you take better care of the ship?"
"We are not superstitious in our profession, sir," replied the doctor, "but the sea makes people so. I don't want to prejudice you, and I don't want to frighten you, but if you will take my advice you will move in here. I would as soon see you overboard," he added earnestly, "as know that you or any other man was to sleep in 105."
"We're not superstitious in our profession, sir," the doctor replied, "but the sea has a way of making people that way. I don't want to bias you or scare you, but if you take my advice, you'll move in here. I'd just as soon see you overboard," he added earnestly, "than know that you or anyone else was to sleep in 105."
"Good gracious! Why?" I asked.
"Wow! Why?" I asked.
"Just because on the three last trips the people who have slept there actually have gone overboard," he answered gravely.
"Just because on the last three trips the people who stayed there really have gone overboard," he replied seriously.
The intelligence was startling and exceedingly unpleasant, I confess. I looked hard at the doctor to see whether he was making game of me, but he looked perfectly serious. I thanked him warmly[Pg 211] for his offer, but told him I intended to be the exception to the rule by which every one who slept in that particular state-room went overboard. He did not say much, but looked as grave as ever, and hinted that, before we got across, I should probably reconsider his proposal. In the course of time we went to breakfast, at which only an inconsiderable number of passengers assembled. I noticed that one or two of the officers who breakfasted with us looked grave. After breakfast I went into my state-room in order to get a book. The curtains of the upper berth were still closely drawn. Not a sound was to be heard. My room-mate was probably still asleep.
The news was shocking and really unsettling, I admit. I stared at the doctor to see if he was joking, but he looked completely serious. I thanked him sincerely[Pg 211] for his offer, but I told him I planned to be the exception to the rule that everyone who slept in that specific state-room ended up overboard. He didn’t say much, just maintained his serious expression and suggested that by the time we got across, I might reconsider his offer. Eventually, we went to breakfast, but only a few passengers showed up. I noticed one or two of the officers who had breakfast with us also looked quite serious. After breakfast, I went into my state-room to grab a book. The curtains of the upper berth were still tightly drawn. There wasn't a sound to be heard. My roommate was probably still asleep.
As I came out I met the steward whose business it was to look after me. He whispered that the captain wanted to see me, and then scuttled away down the passage as if very anxious to avoid any questions. I went toward the captain's cabin, and found him waiting for me.
As I walked out, I ran into the steward whose job was to take care of me. He whispered that the captain wanted to see me, then hurried down the hallway like he was eager to avoid any questions. I headed to the captain's cabin and found him waiting for me.
"Sir," said he, "I want to ask a favour of you."
"Sir," he said, "I would like to ask you for a favor."
I answered that I would do anything to oblige him.
I replied that I would do anything to help him out.
"Your room-mate has disappeared," he said. "He is known to have turned in early last night. Did you notice anything extraordinary in his manner?"
"Your roommate has gone missing," he said. "He was seen heading to bed early last night. Did you notice anything unusual about how he was acting?"
The question, coming as it did in exact confirmation of the fears the doctor had expressed half an hour earlier, staggered me.
The question, coming as it did in exact confirmation of the fears the doctor had expressed half an hour earlier, staggered me.
"You don't mean to say he has gone overboard?" I asked.
"You can't be saying he went too far?" I asked.
"I fear he has," answered the captain.
"I think he has," the captain replied.
"This is the most extraordinary thing—" I began.
"This is the most amazing thing—" I started.
"Why?" he asked.
"Why?" he asked.
"He is the fourth, then?" I explained. In answer to another question from the captain, I explained, without mentioning the doctor, that I had heard the story concerning 105. He seemed very much annoyed at hearing that I knew of it. I told him what had occurred in the night.
"He’s the fourth one, right?" I said. In response to another question from the captain, I explained, without bringing up the doctor, that I had heard the story about 105. He seemed really annoyed that I was aware of it. I told him what happened that night.
"What you say," he replied, "coincides almost exactly with what was told me by the room-mates of two of the other three. They bolt out of bed and run down the passage. Two of them were seen to go overboard by the watch; we stopped and lowered boats, but they were not found. Nobody, however, saw or heard the man who was lost last night—if he is really lost. The steward, who is a superstitious fellow, perhaps, and expected something to go wrong, went to look for him this morning, and found his berth empty, but his clothes lying about, just as he had left them. The steward was the only man[Pg 213] on board who knew him by sight, and he has been searching everywhere for him. He has disappeared! Now, sir, I want to beg you not to mention the circumstance to any of the passengers; I don't want the ship to get a bad name, and nothing hangs about an ocean-goer like stories of suicides. You shall have your choice of any one of the officers' cabins you like, including my own, for the rest of the passage. Is that a fair bargain?"
"What you’re saying," he replied, "matches almost exactly with what the roommates of two of the other three told me. They jumped out of bed and ran down the hall. The watch saw two of them go overboard; we stopped and launched boats, but they weren’t found. However, nobody saw or heard the guy who went missing last night—if he really is missing. The steward, who is kind of superstitious and maybe expected something to go wrong, went to look for him this morning and found his bunk empty but his clothes scattered around just as he left them. The steward was the only person[Pg 213] on board who recognized him, and he’s been searching everywhere for him. He’s vanished! Now, sir, I need to ask you not to mention this to any of the passengers; I don’t want the ship to get a bad reputation, and nothing damages an ocean liner like stories of suicides. You can choose any of the officers' cabins you want, including mine, for the rest of the trip. Does that sound fair?"
"Very," said I; "and I am much obliged to you. But since I am alone, and have the state-room to myself, I would rather not move. If the steward will take out that unfortunate man's things, I would as lief stay where I am. I will not say anything about the matter, and I think I can promise you that I will not follow my room-mate."
"Sure," I said; "and I really appreciate it. But since I'm alone and have the room to myself, I'd prefer not to move. If the steward can take out that poor guy's stuff, I'd just as soon stay where I am. I won't mention anything about it, and I can promise you that I won't follow my roommate."
The captain tried to dissuade me from my intention, but I preferred having a state-room alone to being the chum of any officer on board. I do not know whether I acted foolishly, but if I had taken his advice I should have had nothing more to tell. There would have remained the disagreeable coincidence of several suicides occurring among men who had slept in the same cabin, but that would have been all.
The captain tried to talk me out of my decision, but I’d rather have a private cabin than share with any officer on the ship. I’m not sure if I was being foolish, but if I had followed his advice, I wouldn’t have had much to share. There would still be the unsettling fact that multiple suicides happened among men who had stayed in the same cabin, but that would be it.
That was not the end of the matter, however,[Pg 214] by any means. I obstinately made up my mind that I would not be disturbed by such tales, and I even went so far as to argue the question with the captain. There was something wrong about the state-room, I said. It was rather damp. The porthole had been left open last night. My room-mate might have been ill when he came on board, and he might have become delirious after he went to bed. He might even now be hiding somewhere on board, and might be found later. The place ought to be aired and the fastening of the port looked to. If the captain would give me leave, I would see that what I thought necessary were done immediately.
That wasn’t the end of the story, though,[Pg 214] not at all. I stubbornly decided that I wouldn’t let those stories bother me, and I even went as far as to debate the issue with the captain. I said there was something off about the cabin. It was pretty damp. The porthole had been left open last night. My roommate might have been sick when he got on board, and he could have gone delirious after going to bed. He might even be hiding somewhere on the ship and could be found later. The place should be aired out, and the porthole lock needs to be checked. If the captain would let me, I would make sure everything I thought was necessary got done right away.
"Of course you have a right to stay where you are if you please," he replied, rather petulantly; "but I wish you would turn out and let me lock the place up, and be done with it."
"Of course you have the right to stay where you are if you want," he replied, somewhat sulkily; "but I wish you would just leave so I can lock this place up and be done with it."
I did not see it in the same light, and left the captain, after promising to be silent concerning the disappearance of my companion. The latter had had no acquaintances on board, and was not missed in the course of the day. Towards evening I met the doctor again, and he asked me whether I had changed my mind. I told him I had not.
I didn't see it the same way, and I left the captain after promising to keep quiet about my friend's disappearance. He didn't know anyone on board, so nobody noticed he was gone throughout the day. Later in the evening, I ran into the doctor again, and he asked me if I had changed my mind. I told him I hadn't.
"Then you will before long," he said, very gravely.
"Then you will soon," he said very seriously.
CHAPTER 3
We played whist in the evening, and I went to bed late. I will confess now that I felt a disagreeable sensation when I entered my state-room. I could not help thinking of the tall man I had seen on the previous night, who was now dead, drowned, tossing about in the long swell, two or three hundred miles astern. His face rose very distinctly before me as I undressed, and I even went so far as to draw back the curtains of the upper berth, as though to persuade myself that he was actually gone. I also bolted the door of the state-room. Suddenly I became aware that the porthole was open, and fastened back. This was more than I could stand. I hastily threw on my dressing-gown and went in search of Robert, the steward of my passage. I was very angry, I remember, and when I found him I dragged him roughly to the door of 105, and pushed him towards the open porthole.
We played cards in the evening, and I went to bed late. I have to admit now that I felt a really unsettling feeling when I walked into my cabin. I couldn't stop thinking about the tall man I had seen the night before, who was now dead, drowned, drifting about in the waves, two or three hundred miles behind us. His face appeared very clearly in my mind as I got undressed, and I even pulled back the curtains of the upper bunk, trying to convince myself that he was really gone. I also locked the door of my cabin. Suddenly, I realized that the porthole was open and propped back. This was more than I could handle. I quickly threw on my robe and went to find Robert, the steward for my trip. I was really angry, and when I finally found him, I roughly dragged him to the door of 105 and pushed him toward the open porthole.
"What the deuce do you mean, you scoundrel, by leaving that port open every night? Don't you know it is against the regulations? Don't you know that if the ship heeled and the water began to come in, ten men could not shut it? I will report you to the captain, you blackguard, for endangering the ship!"
"What the heck do you mean, you jerk, by leaving that port open every night? Don't you know it's against the rules? Don't you realize that if the ship tilted and water started coming in, ten men wouldn't be able to shut it? I'm going to report you to the captain, you scoundrel, for putting the ship in danger!"
I was exceedingly wroth. The man trembled and turned pale, and then began to shut the round glass plate with the heavy brass fittings.
I was extremely angry. The man shook and turned pale, and then he started to close the round glass plate with the heavy brass fittings.
"Why don't you answer me?" I said roughly.
"Why aren't you answering me?" I said sharply.
"If you please, sir," faltered Robert, "there's nobody on board as can keep this 'ere port shut at night. You can try it yourself, sir. I ain't a-going to stop hany longer on board o' this vessel, sir; I ain't, indeed. But if I was you, sir, I'd just clear out and go and sleep with the surgeon, or something, I would. Look 'ere, sir, is that fastened what you may call securely, or not, sir? Try it, sir, see if it will move a hinch."
"If you don’t mind me saying, sir," stammered Robert, "there’s nobody on board who can keep this port shut at night. You can try it yourself, sir. I’m not staying on this vessel any longer, sir; I really won’t. But if I were you, sir, I’d just leave and find somewhere else to sleep, like with the surgeon or something. Look here, sir, is that securely fastened, or what, sir? Try it, sir, see if it will move at all."
I tried the port, and found it perfectly tight.
I tried the port and found it completely secure.
"Well, sir," continued Robert, triumphantly, "I wager my reputation as a A1 steward that in 'arf an hour it will be open again; fastened back, too, sir, that's the horful thing—fastened back!"
"Well, sir," Robert continued, confidently, "I bet my reputation as a top-notch steward that in half an hour it will be open again; secured back, too, sir, that's the terrible thing—secured back!"
I examined the great screw and the looped nut that ran on it.
I looked closely at the big screw and the looped nut that fit onto it.
"If I find it open in the night, Robert, I will give you a sovereign. It is not possible. You may go."
"If I find it open at night, Robert, I’ll give you a pound. It’s not possible. You can go."
"Soverin' did you say, sir? Very good, sir. Thank ye, sir. Good-night, sir. Pleasant reepose, sir, and all manner of hinchantin' dreams, sir."
"Sovereign, did you say, sir? Very well, sir. Thank you, sir. Good night, sir. Wishing you a pleasant rest, sir, and all sorts of enchanting dreams, sir."
Robert scuttled away, delighted at being released. Of course, I thought he was trying to account for his negligence by a silly story, intended to frighten[Pg 217] me, and I disbelieved him. The consequence was that he got his sovereign, and I spent a very peculiarly unpleasant night.
Robert hurried off, thrilled to be let go. I assumed he was just trying to justify his carelessness with a ridiculous story meant to scare[Pg 217] me, and I didn’t buy it. As a result, he got his pound, and I had a really uncomfortable night.
I went to bed, and five minutes after I had rolled myself up in my blankets the inexorable Robert extinguished the light that burned steadily behind the ground-glass pane near the door. I lay quite still in the dark trying to go to sleep, but I soon found that impossible. It had been some satisfaction to be angry with the steward, and the diversion had banished that unpleasant sensation I had at first experienced when I thought of the drowned man who had been my chum; but I was no longer sleepy, and I lay awake for some time, occasionally glancing at the porthole, which I could just see from where I lay, and which, in the darkness, looked like a faintly luminous soup-plate suspended in blackness. I believe I must have lain there for an hour, and, as I remember, I was just dozing into sleep when I was roused by a draught of cold air, and by distinctly feeling the spray of the sea blown upon my face. I started to my feet, and not having allowed in the dark for the motion of the ship, I was instantly thrown violently across the state-room upon the couch which was placed beneath the porthole. I recovered myself immediately, however, and climbed upon my knees. The porthole was again wide open and fastened back!
I went to bed, and five minutes after I wrapped myself up in my blankets, the relentless Robert turned off the light that shone steadily behind the frosted glass pane near the door. I lay still in the dark trying to fall asleep, but I soon found that impossible. It had been somewhat satisfying to be angry with the steward, and that distraction had pushed aside the unpleasant feeling I initially had when I thought about the drowned man who had been my friend; but I was no longer sleepy, and I lay awake for a while, occasionally glancing at the porthole, which I could just see from where I was, and which, in the darkness, looked like a faintly glowing soup plate hanging in the blackness. I think I must have been there for about an hour, and just as I was dozing off, I was jolted awake by a cold draft and the distinct feeling of sea spray on my face. I jumped to my feet, and not having accounted for the ship’s movement in the dark, I was suddenly thrown violently across the state room onto the couch beneath the porthole. I quickly steadied myself and got on my knees. The porthole was wide open again and secured back!
Now these things are facts. I was wide awake when I got up, and I should certainly have been waked by the fall had I still been dozing. Moreover, I bruised my elbows and knees badly, and the bruises were there on the following morning to testify to the fact, if I myself had doubted it. The porthole was wide open and fastened back—a thing so unaccountable that I remember very well feeling astonishment rather than fear when I discovered it. I at once closed the plate again, and screwed down the loop nut with all my strength. It was very dark in the state-room. I reflected that the port had certainly been opened within an hour after Robert had at first shut it in my presence, and I determined to watch it, and see whether it would open again. Those brass fittings are very heavy and by no means easy to move; I could not believe that the clump had been turned by the shaking of the screw. I stood peering out through the thick glass at the alternate white and grey streaks of the sea that foamed beneath the ship's side. I must have remained there a quarter of an hour.
Now, these things are facts. I was fully awake when I got up, and I definitely would have been woken up by the fall if I had still been dozing. Plus, I banged up my elbows and knees pretty badly, and the bruises were there the next morning to prove it, if I had any doubts. The porthole was wide open and secured back—something so strange that I remember feeling more astonished than scared when I found it. I immediately closed the plate again and tightened the loop nut as hard as I could. It was really dark in the state room. I realized that the port must have been opened within an hour after Robert first closed it in front of me, and I decided to keep an eye on it to see if it would open again. Those brass fittings are heavy and not easy to move; I couldn’t believe that the clamp had been turned just by the shaking of the screw. I stood there peering out through the thick glass at the alternating white and gray streaks of the sea foaming beneath the ship’s side. I must have stayed there for about fifteen minutes.
Suddenly, as I stood, I distinctly heard something moving behind me in one of the berths, and a moment afterwards, just as I turned instinctively to look—though I could, of course, see nothing in the darkness—I heard a very faint groan. I[Pg 219] sprang across the state-room, and tore the curtains of the upper berth aside, thrusting in my hands to discover if there were any one there. There was some one.
Suddenly, as I stood there, I clearly heard something moving behind me in one of the berths, and just a moment later, as I instinctively turned to look—though I couldn’t see anything in the dark—I heard a very faint groan. I[Pg 219] jumped across the state-room, ripped the curtains of the upper berth aside, and reached in with my hands to see if anyone was there. There was someone.
I remember that the sensation as I put my hands forward was as though I were plunging them into the air of a damp cellar, and from behind the curtains came a gust of wind that smelled horribly of stagnant sea-water. I laid hold of something that had the shape of a man's arm, but was smooth, and wet, and icy cold. But suddenly, as I pulled, the creature sprang violently forward against me, a clammy, oozy mass, as it seemed to me, heavy and wet, yet endowed with a sort of supernatural strength. I reeled across the state-room, and in an instant the door opened and the thing rushed out. I had not had time to be frightened, and quickly recovering myself, I sprang through the door and gave chase at the top of my speed, but I was too late. Ten yards before me I could see—I am sure I saw it—a dark shadow moving in the dimly lighted passage, quickly as the shadow of a fast horse thrown before a dogcart by the lamp on a dark night. But in a moment it had disappeared, and I found myself holding on to the polished rail that ran along the bulkhead where the passage turned towards the companion. My hair stood on end, and the cold [Pg 220]perspiration rolled down my face. I am not ashamed of it in the least: I was very badly frightened.
I remember the feeling as I reached out my hands was like plunging them into the air of a damp basement, and a gust of wind with a horrible scent of stagnant sea water came from behind the curtains. I grabbed something that felt like a man's arm, but it was smooth, wet, and icy cold. Suddenly, as I pulled, the creature lunged forward at me, a clammy, slimy mass that felt heavy and wet, yet had an unnatural strength. I stumbled across the state-room, and in an instant, the door opened and the thing rushed out. I didn't have time to be scared, and as I quickly regained my composure, I dashed through the door and chased after it as fast as I could, but I was too late. Ten yards ahead, I could see—I’m certain I saw—a dark shadow moving in the dimly lit hallway, as quick as the shadow of a fast horse cast by the lamp on a dark night. But in a moment, it vanished, and I found myself gripping the polished rail along the bulkhead where the passage turned toward the companionway. My hair stood on end, and the cold perspiration rolled down my face. I’m not ashamed at all: I was extremely frightened.
Still I doubted my senses, and pulled myself together. It was absurd, I thought. The Welsh rarebit I had eaten had disagreed with me. I had been in a nightmare. I made my way back to my state-room, and entered it with an effort. The whole place smelled of stagnant sea-water, as it had when I had waked on the previous evening. It required my utmost strength to go in, and grope among my things for a box of wax lights. As I lighted a railway reading lantern which I always carry in case I want to read after the lamps are out, I perceived that the porthole was again open, and a sort of creeping horror began to take possession of me which I never felt before, nor wish to feel again. But I got a light and proceeded to examine the upper berth, expecting to find it drenched with sea-water.
Still, I questioned my senses and pulled myself together. It was ridiculous, I thought. The Welsh rarebit I had eaten must have disagreed with me. I had been in a nightmare. I made my way back to my cabin and entered it with difficulty. The entire place smelled like stagnant sea water, just as it had when I woke up the night before. It took all my strength to go in and rummage through my things for a box of matches. As I lit a reading lantern that I always carry in case I want to read after the lights go out, I noticed that the porthole was once again open, and a creeping horror started to take hold of me that I had never felt before and never wanted to feel again. But I got the light and began to check the upper bunk, expecting to find it soaked with sea water.
But I was disappointed. The bed had been slept in, and the smell of the sea was strong; but the bedding was as dry as a bone. I fancied that Robert had not had the courage to make the bed after the accident of the previous night—it had all been a hideous dream. I drew the curtains back as far as I could and examined the place very carefully. It was perfectly dry. But the porthole was open again. With a sort of dull [Pg 221]bewilderment of horror I closed it and screwed it down, and thrusting my heavy stick through the brass loop, wrenched it with all my might, till the thick metal began to bend under the pressure. Then I hooked my reading lantern into the red velvet at the head of the couch, and sat down to recover my senses if I could. I sat there all night, unable to think of rest—hardly able to think at all. But the porthole remained closed, and I did not believe it would now open again without the application of a considerable force.
But I was disappointed. The bed had been used, and the smell of the sea was strong; but the bedding was as dry as a bone. I imagined that Robert hadn’t had the courage to make the bed after what happened the night before—it had all been a terrible nightmare. I pulled the curtains back as far as I could and carefully examined the room. It was completely dry. But the porthole was open again. With a sort of dull bewilderment mixed with horror, I closed it and secured it, then using my heavy stick, I twisted it with all my strength until the thick metal began to bend under the pressure. Then I hooked my reading lantern into the red velvet at the head of the couch and sat down to gather my thoughts, if I could. I sat there all night, unable to think about resting—hardly able to think at all. But the porthole stayed closed, and I didn’t believe it would open again without a significant amount of force.
The morning dawned at last, and I dressed myself slowly, thinking over all that had happened in the night. It was a beautiful day and I went on deck, glad to get out into the early, pure sunshine, and to smell the breeze from the blue water, so different from the noisome, stagnant odour of my state-room. Instinctively I turned aft, towards the surgeon's cabin. There he stood, with a pipe in his mouth, taking his morning airing precisely as on the preceding day.
The morning finally broke, and I got dressed slowly, reflecting on everything that had happened overnight. It was a beautiful day, so I went out on deck, happy to be in the early, fresh sunshine and to breathe in the salty air from the blue water, which was so different from the foul, stale smell of my cabin. Without thinking, I headed toward the surgeon's cabin. There he was, with a pipe in his mouth, enjoying his morning air just like he had the day before.
"Good-morning," said he quietly, but looking at me with evident curiosity.
"Good morning," he said quietly, but looked at me with clear curiosity.
"Doctor, you were quite right," said I. "There is something wrong about that place."
"Doctor, you were absolutely right," I said. "There’s definitely something off about that place."
"I thought you would change your mind," he answered, rather triumphantly. "You have had a bad night, eh? Shall I make you a pick-me-up? I have a capital recipe."
"I thought you’d change your mind," he replied, quite triumphantly. "You had a rough night, huh? Should I whip you up a pick-me-up? I have an amazing recipe."
"No, thanks," I cried. "But I would like to tell you what happened."
"No, thanks," I said. "But I’d like to tell you what happened."
I then tried to explain as clearly as possible precisely what had occurred, not omitting to state that I had been scared as I had never been scared in my whole life before. I dwelt particularly on the phenomenon of the porthole, which was a fact to which I could testify, even if the rest had been an illusion. I had closed it twice in the night, and the second time I had actually bent the brass in wrenching it with my stick. I believe I insisted a good deal on this point.
I then tried to explain as clearly as I could exactly what had happened, making sure to mention that I had been scared like I had never been scared before in my life. I focused especially on the porthole, which I could definitely vouch for, even if everything else had been an illusion. I had closed it twice during the night, and the second time I had actually bent the brass while forcing it with my stick. I think I insisted quite a bit on this point.
"You seem to think I am likely to doubt the story," said the doctor, smiling at the detailed account of the state of the porthole. "I do not doubt it in the least. I renew my invitation to you. Bring your traps here, and take half my cabin."
"You seem to think I'm going to doubt the story," said the doctor, smiling at the detailed description of the porthole's condition. "I don’t doubt it at all. I’m reiterating my invitation to you. Bring your stuff here and take half of my cabin."
"Come and take half of mine for one night," I said. "Help me to get at the bottom of this thing."
"Come and take half of what I have for one night," I said. "Help me figure this out."
"You will get to the bottom of something else if you try," answered the doctor.
"You'll find out something else if you give it a try," the doctor replied.
"What?" I asked.
"What?" I asked.
"The bottom of the sea. I am going to leave this ship. It is not canny."
"The bottom of the ocean. I’m going to leave this ship. It’s not safe."
"Then you will not help me to find out—"
"Then you won't help me find out—"
"Not I," said the doctor, quickly. "It is my business to keep my wits about me—not to go fiddling about with ghosts and things."
"Not me," said the doctor, quickly. "It's my job to stay sharp—not to mess around with ghosts and things."
"Do you really believe it is a ghost?" I enquired, rather contemptuously. But as I spoke I remembered very well the horrible sensation of the supernatural which had got possession of me during the night. The doctor turned sharply on me.
"Do you seriously think it's a ghost?" I asked, somewhat disdainfully. But as I said this, I recalled the terrifying feeling of the supernatural that had taken hold of me during the night. The doctor turned on me abruptly.
"Have you any reasonable explanation of these things to offer?" he asked. "No; you have not. Well, you say you will find an explanation. I say that you won't, sir, simply because there is not any."
"Do you have any reasonable explanation for these things?" he asked. "No, you don't. Well, you say you'll find an explanation. I say you won't, sir, simply because there isn't one."
"But, my dear sir," I retorted, "do you, a man of science, mean to tell me that such things cannot be explained?"
"But, my dear sir," I shot back, "are you really telling me, as a man of science, that these things can't be explained?"
"I do," he answered stoutly. "And, if they could, I would not be concerned in the explanation."
"I do," he replied firmly. "And if they could, I wouldn't be worried about the explanation."
I did not care to spend another night alone in the state-room, and yet I was obstinately determined to get at the root of the disturbances. I do not believe there are many men who would have slept there alone, after passing two such nights. But I made up my mind to try it, if I could not get any one to share a watch with me. The doctor was evidently not inclined for such an experiment. He said he was a surgeon, and that in case any accident occurred on board he must be always in readiness. He could not afford to have his nerves unsettled. Perhaps he was quite right, but I am[Pg 224] inclined to think that his precaution was prompted by his inclination. On enquiry, he informed me that there was no one on board who would be likely to join me in my investigations, and after a little more conversation I left him. A little later I met the captain, and told him my story. I said that, if no one would spend the night with me, I would ask leave to have the light burning all night, and would try it alone.
I didn't want to spend another night alone in the state-room, but I was stubbornly determined to figure out what was causing the disturbances. I doubt many men would have been able to sleep there alone after experiencing two such nights. But I decided to give it a shot if I couldn't find anyone to keep watch with me. The doctor clearly wasn't interested in such an experiment. He said he was a surgeon, and that he needed to be ready for any accidents that might happen on board. He couldn't afford to have his nerves rattled. Maybe he was right, but I tend to think his caution stemmed from his own preferences. When I asked him, he told me there was no one on board who would be willing to join me in my investigations, and after some more discussion, I left him. A little later, I ran into the captain and shared my story. I mentioned that if no one would spend the night with me, I would like permission to keep the light on all night and try it alone.
"Look here," said he, "I will tell you what I will do. I will share your watch myself, and we will see what happens. It is my belief that we can find out between us. There may be some fellow skulking on board, who steals a passage by frightening the passengers. It is just possible that there may be something queer in the carpentering of that berth."
"Listen," he said, "I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'll take a look at your watch myself, and we'll see what happens. I believe we can figure this out together. There might be someone hiding on board who sneaks a ride by scaring the passengers. It’s also possible that there’s something off about how that bunk was built."
I suggested taking the ship's carpenter below and examining the place; but I was overjoyed at the captain's offer to spend the night with me. He accordingly sent for the workman and ordered him to do anything I required. We went below at once. I had all the bedding cleared out of the upper berth, and we examined the place thoroughly to see if there was a board loose anywhere, or a panel which could be opened or pushed aside. We tried the planks everywhere, tapped the flooring, unscrewed the fittings of the lower berth and[Pg 225] took it to pieces—in short, there was not a square inch of the state-room which was not searched and tested. Everything was in perfect order, and we put everything back in its place. As we were finishing our work, Robert came to the door and looked in.
I suggested taking the ship's carpenter below to check the area, but I was thrilled with the captain's offer to spend the night with me. He then called for the worker and instructed him to do anything I needed. We went below right away. I had all the bedding removed from the upper bunk, and we searched the area thoroughly for any loose boards or panels that could be opened or pushed aside. We tested the planks, tapped the flooring, unscrewed the fittings of the lower bunk, and took it apart—in short, we searched and examined every inch of the state room. Everything was in perfect order, and we put everything back where it belonged. As we were finishing up, Robert came to the door and looked in.
"Well, sir—find anything, sir?" he asked, with a ghastly grin.
"Well, sir—did you find anything, sir?" he asked, with a creepy grin.
"You were right about the porthole, Robert," I said, and I gave him the promised sovereign. The carpenter did his work silently and skilfully, following my directions. When he had done he spoke.
"You were right about the porthole, Robert," I said, and I handed him the promised sovereign. The carpenter worked quietly and expertly, following my instructions. Once he finished, he spoke.
"I'm a plain man, sir," he said. "But it's my belief you had better just turn out your things, and let me run half a dozen four-inch screws through the door of this cabin. There's no good never came o' this cabin yet, sir, and that's all about it. There's been four lives lost out o' here to my own remembrance, and that in four trips. Better give it up, sir—better give it up!"
"I'm just a simple guy, sir," he said. "But I think you should just take your stuff out and let me put half a dozen four-inch screws through the door of this cabin. Nothing good has ever come from this cabin, sir, and that's all there is to it. I remember four lives being lost out here in just four trips. It's best to let it go, sir—just let it go!"
"I will try it for one night more," I said.
"I'll give it one more night," I said.
"Better give it up, sir—better give it up! It's a precious bad job," repeated the workman, putting his tools in his bag and leaving the cabin.
"Better let it go, sir—better let it go! It's a really bad deal," repeated the worker, putting his tools in his bag and leaving the cabin.
But my spirits had risen considerably at the prospect of having the captain's company, and I made up my mind not to be prevented from going[Pg 226] to the end of the strange business. I abstained from Welsh rarebits and grog that evening, and did not even join in the customary game of whist. I wanted to be quite sure of my nerves, and my vanity made me anxious to make a good figure in the captain's eyes.
But my spirits had lifted a lot at the idea of having the captain's company, and I decided not to let anything stop me from seeing this strange situation through to the end. I skipped Welsh rarebits and grog that evening, and didn’t even participate in the usual game of whist. I wanted to be sure I was calm, and my pride made me eager to impress the captain.
CHAPTER 4
The captain was one of those splendidly tough and cheerful specimens of seafaring humanity whose combined courage, hardihood, and calmness in difficulty leads them naturally into high positions of trust. He was not the man to be led away by an idle tale, and the mere fact that he was willing to join me in the investigation was proof that he thought there was something seriously wrong, which could not be accounted for on ordinary theories, nor laughed down as a common superstition. To some extent, too, his reputation was at stake, as well as the reputation of the ship. It is no light thing to lose passengers overboard, and he knew it.
The captain was one of those incredibly tough and cheerful examples of seafaring life whose bravery, resilience, and composure in tough situations naturally lead them into significant positions of trust. He wasn't the type to be swayed by a silly story, and the fact that he agreed to join me in the investigation showed that he believed something was genuinely wrong, which couldn’t be explained by usual theories or dismissed as a simple superstition. To some extent, his reputation was at stake, as well as the ship's. It's not a minor issue to lose passengers overboard, and he understood that.
About ten o'clock that evening, as I was smoking a last cigar, he came up to me, and drew me aside from the beat of the other passengers who were patrolling the deck in the warm darkness.
About ten o'clock that evening, as I was smoking one last cigar, he came over to me and pulled me aside from the crowd of other passengers walking around the deck in the warm darkness.
"This is a serious matter, Mr. Brisbane," he said. "We must make up our minds either way—to be disappointed or to have a pretty rough time of it. You see I cannot afford to laugh at the affair, and I will ask you to sign your name to a statement of whatever occurs. If nothing happens to-night, we will try it again to-morrow and next day. Are you ready?"
"This is a serious issue, Mr. Brisbane," he said. "We need to make a decision—either accept disappointment or face a tough situation. You see, I can’t take this lightly, and I'm going to need you to sign a statement regarding whatever happens. If nothing occurs tonight, we’ll try again tomorrow and the day after. Are you ready?"
So we went below, and entered the state-room. As we went in I could see Robert the steward, who stood a little further down the passage, watching us, with his usual grin, as though certain that something dreadful was about to happen. The captain closed the door behind us and bolted it.
So we went downstairs and entered the stateroom. As we walked in, I noticed Robert, the steward, standing a bit further down the hallway, watching us with his usual grin, as if he knew something terrible was about to go down. The captain shut the door behind us and locked it.
"Supposing we put your portmanteau before the door," he suggested. "One of us can sit on it. Nothing can get out then. Is the port screwed down?"
"How about we put your suitcase in front of the door?" he suggested. "One of us can sit on it. That way, nothing can get out. Is the latch secured?"
I found it as I had left it in the morning. Indeed, without using a lever, as I had done, no one could have opened it. I drew back the curtains of the upper berth so that I could see well into it. By the captain's advice I lighted my reading lantern, and placed it so that it shone upon the white sheets above. He insisted upon sitting on the portmanteau, declaring that he wished to be able to swear that he had sat before the door.
I found it just as I had left it in the morning. Honestly, without using a lever like I had, no one could have opened it. I pulled back the curtains of the upper bunk so I could see clearly inside. Following the captain's advice, I turned on my reading lantern and positioned it to shine on the white sheets above. He insisted on sitting on the suitcase, claiming he wanted to be able to say that he had sat in front of the door.
Then he requested me to search the stateroom[Pg 228] thoroughly, an operation very soon accomplished, as it consisted merely in looking beneath the lower berth and under the couch below the porthole. The spaces were quite empty.
Then he asked me to search the stateroom[Pg 228] carefully, which was done quickly since it just involved checking under the lower bed and underneath the couch by the porthole. The areas were completely empty.
"It is impossible for any human being to get in," I said, "or for any human being to open the port."
"It’s impossible for anyone to get in," I said, "or for anyone to open the door."
"Very good," said the captain, calmly. "If we see anything now, it must be either imagination or something supernatural."
"Very good," the captain said calmly. "If we see anything now, it has to be either our imagination or something supernatural."
I sat down on the edge of the lower berth.
I sat down on the edge of the bottom bunk.
"The first time it happened," said the captain, crossing his legs and leaning back against the door, "was in March. The passenger who slept here, in the upper berth, turned out to have been a lunatic—at all events, he was known to have been a little touched, and he had taken his passage without the knowledge of his friends. He rushed out in the middle of the night, and threw himself overboard, before the officer who had the watch could stop him. We stopped and lowered a boat; it was a quiet night, just before that heavy weather came on; but we could not find him. Of course his suicide was afterwards accounted for on the ground of his insanity."
"The first time it happened," said the captain, crossing his legs and leaning back against the door, "was in March. The passenger who slept here, in the upper bunk, turned out to have been a bit crazy—at least, he was known to have been slightly off, and he had booked his ticket without his friends knowing. He bolted out in the middle of the night and jumped overboard before the officer on watch could stop him. We stopped and lowered a boat; it was a calm night, just before that bad weather hit; but we couldn’t find him. Of course, his suicide was later explained by his insanity."
"I suppose that often happens?" I remarked, rather absently.
"I guess that happens a lot?" I said, somewhat distractedly.
"Not often—no," said the captain; "never before in my experience, though I have heard of it[Pg 229] happening on board of other ships. Well, as I was saying, that occurred in March. On the very next trip—What are you looking at?" he asked, stopping suddenly in his narration.
"Not really—no," said the captain; "never in my experience, although I've heard of it[Pg 229] happening on other ships. Anyway, as I was saying, that happened in March. On the very next trip—What are you looking at?" he asked, suddenly stopping his story.
I believe I gave no answer. My eyes were riveted upon the porthole. It seemed to me that the brass loop-nut was beginning to turn very slowly upon the screw—so slowly, however, that I was not sure it moved at all. I watched it intently, fixing its position in my mind, and trying to ascertain whether it changed. Seeing where I was looking, the captain looked too.
I don’t think I responded. My eyes were glued to the porthole. It felt like the brass loop-nut was starting to turn very slowly on the screw—so slowly that I couldn’t tell if it was actually moving. I focused on it, locking its position in my mind and trying to see if it changed at all. Noticing where I was staring, the captain looked over as well.
"It moves!" he exclaimed, in a tone of conviction. "No, it does not," he added, after a minute.
"It moves!" he exclaimed, confidently. "No, it doesn't," he added after a moment.
"If it were the jarring of the screw," said I, "it would have opened during the day; but I found it this evening jammed tight as I left it this morning."
"If it were the screwing noise," I said, "it would have opened up during the day; but I found it this evening stuck just like I left it this morning."
I rose and tried the nut. It was certainly loosened, for by an effort I could move it with my hands.
I got up and attempted to move the nut. It was definitely loosened, because with some effort I could shift it with my hands.
"The queer thing," said the captain, "is that the second man who was lost is supposed to have got through that very port. We had a terrible time over it. It was in the middle of the night, and the weather was very heavy; there was an alarm that one of the ports was open and the sea running in. I came below and found everything flooded, the water pouring in every time she rolled, and the[Pg 230] whole port swinging from the top bolts—not the porthole in the middle. Well, we managed to shut it, but the water did some damage. Ever since that the place smells of sea-water from time to time. We supposed the passenger had thrown himself out, though the Lord only knows how he did it. The steward kept telling me that he cannot keep anything shut here. Upon my word—I can smell it now, cannot you?" he enquired, sniffing the air suspiciously.
"The odd thing," said the captain, "is that the second man who went missing is believed to have made it through that very port. We had a rough time with it. It was in the dead of night, and the weather was really bad; there was an alarm that one of the ports was open and water was coming in. I went below and found everything flooded, with water pouring in every time the ship rolled, and the[Pg 230] whole port swinging from the top bolts—not just the porthole in the middle. Well, we managed to secure it, but the water did some damage. Ever since then, the place smells of sea water from time to time. We thought the passenger had thrown himself out, though God only knows how he did it. The steward kept telling me that he can't keep anything shut here. I swear—I can smell it now, can't you?" he asked, sniffing the air suspiciously.
"Yes—distinctly," I said, and I shuddered as that same odour of stagnant sea-water grew stronger in the cabin. "Now, to smell like this, the place must be damp," I continued, "and yet when I examined it with the carpenter this morning everything was perfectly dry. It is most extraordinary—hallo!"
"Yeah—definitely," I said, and I shuddered as that same smell of stagnant sea water got stronger in the cabin. "For it to smell like this, the place has to be damp," I continued, "and yet when I checked it with the carpenter this morning, everything was perfectly dry. It's really strange—hey!"
My reading lantern, which had been placed in the upper berth, was suddenly extinguished. There was still a good deal of light from the pane of ground glass near the door, behind which loomed the regulation lamp. The ship rolled heavily, and the curtain of the upper berth swung far out into the state-room and back again. I rose quickly from my seat on the edge of the bed, and the captain at the same moment started to his feet with a loud cry of surprise. I had turned with the intention of taking down the lantern to examine it, when I heard[Pg 231] his exclamation, and immediately afterwards his call for help. I sprang towards him. He was wrestling with all his might with the brass loop of the port. It seemed to turn against his hands in spite of all his efforts. I caught up my cane, a heavy oak stick I always used to carry, and thrust it through the ring and bore on it with all my strength. But the strong wood snapped suddenly, and I fell upon the couch. When I rose again the port was wide open, and the captain was standing with his back against the door, pale to the lips.
My reading lamp, which had been placed on the upper bunk, suddenly went out. There was still a decent amount of light coming from the frosted glass panel near the door, behind which the standard lamp was visible. The ship swayed heavily, and the curtain of the upper bunk swung out into the state room and back again. I quickly got up from my spot on the edge of the bed, and at the same moment, the captain jumped to his feet with a loud shout of surprise. I had turned to grab the lantern to check it, when I heard[Pg 231] his shout, followed by his call for help. I rushed towards him. He was struggling with all his strength against the brass loop of the porthole. It seemed to resist his efforts. I grabbed my cane, a heavy oak stick that I always carried, and shoved it through the ring, putting all my weight on it. But the strong wood snapped suddenly, and I fell onto the couch. When I got back up, the porthole was wide open, and the captain was standing with his back against the door, pale as a ghost.
"There is something in that berth!" he cried, in a strange voice, his eyes almost starting from his head. "Hold the door, while I look—it shall not escape us, whatever it is!"
"There’s something in that room!" he shouted, in an odd tone, his eyes nearly popping out of his head. "Hold the door while I check—it won’t get away from us, no matter what it is!"
But instead of taking his place, I sprang upon the lower bed, and seized something which lay in the upper berth.
But instead of taking his spot, I jumped onto the lower bed and grabbed something that was on the upper bunk.
It was something ghostly, horrible beyond words, and it moved in my grip. It was like the body of a man long drowned, and yet it moved, and had the strength of ten men living; but I gripped it with all my might—the slippery, oozy, horrible thing—the dead white eyes seemed to stare at me out of the dusk; the putrid odour of rank sea-water was about it, and its shiny hair hung in foul wet curls over its dead face. I wrestled with the dead thing; it thrust itself upon me[Pg 232] and forced me back and nearly broke my arms; it wound its corpse's arms about my neck, the living death, and overpowered me, so that I, at last, cried aloud and fell, and left my hold.
It was something eerie, terrifying beyond description, and it struggled in my grip. It felt like the body of a man who had been drowned for a long time, yet it moved and had the strength of ten living men; but I held on with all my might—the slick, slimy, grotesque thing—the dead white eyes seemed to stare at me from the shadows; the foul stench of stagnant sea water surrounded it, and its glossy hair hung in filthy, wet curls over its lifeless face. I fought with the corpse; it pushed against me[Pg 232] and nearly broke my arms; it wrapped its corpse-like arms around my neck, the living death, and overpowered me, so that I finally cried out and fell, releasing my grip.
As I fell the thing sprang across me, and seemed to throw itself upon the captain. When I last saw him on his feet his face was white and his lips set. It seemed to me that he struck a violent blow at the dead being, and then he, too, fell forward upon his face, with an inarticulate cry of horror.
As I fell, the creature jumped over me and appeared to lunge at the captain. The last time I saw him standing, his face was pale and his lips were tight. It looked like he delivered a fierce blow to the lifeless figure, and then he, too, collapsed face-first, letting out a muffled scream of terror.
The thing paused an instant, seeming to hover over his prostrate body, and I could have screamed again for very fright, but I had no voice left. The thing vanished suddenly, and it seemed to my disturbed senses that it made its exit through the open port, though how that was possible, considering the smallness of the aperture, is more than any one can tell. I lay a long time upon the floor, and the captain lay beside me. At last I partially recovered my senses and moved, and instantly I knew that my arm was broken—the small bone of the left forearm near the wrist.
The thing paused for a moment, almost hovering over his lying body, and I could have screamed again out of sheer terror, but I had no voice left. The thing suddenly disappeared, and to my unsettled mind, it felt like it left through the open port, although how that was possible, given the small size of the opening, is beyond anyone's understanding. I lay on the floor for a long time, and the captain was next to me. Finally, I started to regain my senses and moved, and immediately I realized that my arm was broken—the small bone in my left forearm near the wrist.
I got upon my feet somehow, and with my remaining hand I tried to raise the captain. He groaned and moved, and at last came to himself. He was not hurt, but he seemed badly stunned.
I somehow got to my feet, and with my free hand, I tried to help the captain up. He groaned and stirred, eventually becoming aware again. He wasn't injured, but he looked pretty dazed.
Well, do you want to hear any more? There[Pg 233] is nothing more. That is the end of my story. The carpenter carried out his scheme of running half a dozen four-inch screws through the door of 105; and if ever you take a passage in the Kamtschatka, you may ask for a berth in that state-room. You will be told that it is engaged—yes—it is engaged by that dead thing.
Well, do you want to hear more? There[Pg 233] isn’t anything else. That’s the end of my story. The carpenter went ahead with his plan to run six four-inch screws through the door of 105; and if you ever take a trip on the Kamtschatka, you can ask for a room in that state-room. You’ll be told that it’s booked—yes—it’s booked by that lifeless thing.
I finished the trip in the surgeon's cabin. He doctored my broken arm, and advised me not to "fiddle about with ghosts and things" any more. The captain was very silent, and never sailed again in that ship, though it is still running. And I will not sail in her either. It was a very disagreeable experience, and I was very badly frightened, which is a thing I do not like. That is all. That is how I saw a ghost—if it was a ghost. It was dead, anyhow.
I ended my journey in the surgeon's cabin. He fixed my broken arm and told me not to "mess around with ghosts and stuff" anymore. The captain was really quiet and never sailed that ship again, even though it's still in service. I won't sail in her either. It was a really unpleasant experience, and I was really scared, which I don't like at all. That’s it. That’s how I encountered a ghost—if it was a ghost. It was definitely dead, though.
BY THE WATERS OF PARADISE
BY THE WATERS OF PARADISE
BY THE WATERS OF PARADISE
I remember my childhood very distinctly. I do not think that the fact argues a good memory, for I have never been clever at learning words by heart, in prose or rhyme; so that I believe my remembrance of events depends much more upon the events themselves than upon my possessing any special facility for recalling them. Perhaps I am too imaginative, and the earliest impressions I received were of a kind to stimulate the imagination abnormally. A long series of little misfortunes, connected with each other so as to suggest a sort of weird fatality, so worked upon my melancholy temperament when I was a boy that, before I was of age, I sincerely believed myself to be under a curse, and not only myself, but my whole family, and every individual who bore my name.
I clearly remember my childhood. I don’t think that means I have a great memory, since I’ve never been good at memorizing words, whether in prose or poetry. I believe my memories depend much more on the events themselves than on any special talent I have for recalling them. Maybe I’m just too imaginative, and the earliest impressions I had were intense enough to overly stimulate my imagination. A long string of small misfortunes, connected in a way that suggested some sort of strange fate, affected my melancholic nature as a boy to the point that, by the time I reached adulthood, I genuinely believed I was under a curse—not just me, but my entire family and everyone who shared my last name.
I was born in the old place where my father, and his father, and all his predecessors had been born, beyond the memory of man. It is a very old house, and the greater part of it was originally a castle, strongly fortified, and surrounded by a deep moat supplied with abundant water from the hills[Pg 238] by a hidden aqueduct. Many of the fortifications have been destroyed, and the moat has been filled up. The water from the aqueduct supplies great fountains, and runs down into huge oblong basins in the terraced gardens, one below the other, each surrounded by a broad pavement of marble between the water and the flower-beds. The waste surplus finally escapes through an artificial grotto, some thirty yards long, into a stream, flowing down through the park to the meadows beyond, and thence to the distant river. The buildings were extended a little and greatly altered more than two hundred years ago, in the time of Charles II., but since then little has been done to improve them, though they have been kept in fairly good repair, according to our fortunes.
I was born in the same place where my father, his father, and all our ancestors had been born, long before anyone can remember. It’s a very old house, most of which was originally a well-fortified castle, surrounded by a deep moat filled with plenty of water from the hills[Pg 238] via a hidden aqueduct. Many of the fortifications have fallen apart, and the moat has been filled in. The water from the aqueduct feeds beautiful fountains and flows into large rectangular basins in the terraced gardens, arranged one below the other, each edged with wide marble walkways separating the water from the flower beds. The excess water eventually flows out through a man-made grotto, about thirty yards long, into a stream that meanders through the park to the meadows beyond, and then to the distant river. The buildings were slightly expanded and significantly altered over two hundred years ago, during the time of Charles II, but since then, not much has been done to improve them, although they’ve been kept in reasonably good shape, considering our financial situation.
In the gardens there are terraces and huge hedges of box and evergreen, some of which used to be clipped into shapes of animals, in the Italian style. I can remember when I was a lad how I used to try to make out what the trees were cut to represent, and how I used to appeal for explanations to Judith, my Welsh nurse. She dealt in a strange mythology of her own, and peopled the gardens with griffins, dragons, good genii and bad, and filled my mind with them at the same time. My nursery window afforded a view of the great fountains at the head of the upper basin, and on[Pg 239] moonlight nights the Welshwoman would hold me up to the glass, and bid me look at the mist and spray rising into mysterious shapes, moving mystically in the white light like living things.
In the gardens, there are terraces and large hedges of boxwood and evergreen, some of which used to be trimmed into the shapes of animals, in the Italian style. I remember when I was a kid trying to figure out what the trees were supposed to represent and how I would ask Judith, my Welsh nurse, for explanations. She had her own unique mythology and filled the gardens with griffins, dragons, good and bad genies, filling my mind with them at the same time. My nursery window gave me a view of the grand fountains at the top of the upper basin, and on[Pg 239] moonlit nights, the Welshwoman would lift me up to the glass and tell me to look at the mist and spray rising into mysterious shapes, moving enchantingly in the white light like living beings.
"It's the Woman of the Water," she used to say; and sometimes she would threaten that, if I did not go to sleep, the Woman of the Water would steal up to the high window and carry me away in her wet arms.
"It's the Woman of the Water," she would say; and sometimes she threatened that if I didn't go to sleep, the Woman of the Water would sneak up to the high window and take me away in her wet arms.
The place was gloomy. The broad basins of water and the tall evergreen hedges gave it a funereal look, and the damp-stained marble causeways by the pools might have been made of tombstones. The grey and weather-beaten walls and towers without, the dark and massively furnished rooms within, the deep, mysterious recesses and the heavy curtains, all affected my spirits. I was silent and sad from my childhood. There was a great clock-tower above, from which the hours rang dismally during the day and tolled like a knell in the dead of night. There was no light nor life in the house, for my mother was a helpless invalid, and my father had grown melancholy in his long task of caring for her. He was a thin, dark man, with sad eyes; kind, I think, but silent and unhappy. Next to my mother, I believe he loved me better than anything on earth, for he took immense pains and trouble in teaching me, and what he taught me I have never forgotten.[Pg 240] Perhaps it was his only amusement, and that may be the reason why I had no nursery governess or teacher of any kind while he lived.
The place felt dreary. The large pools of water and the tall evergreen hedges gave it a funeral ambiance, and the damp, stained marble pathways by the pools looked like tombstones. The grey, weathered walls and towers outside, the dark and heavily furnished rooms inside, the deep, mysterious corners, and the heavy curtains all weighed down my spirits. I had been silent and sad since childhood. There was a great clock tower above, which chimed gloomily during the day and tolled like a funeral bell in the dead of night. The house was devoid of light and life, as my mother was a helpless invalid, and my father had grown melancholy from taking care of her for so long. He was a thin, dark man with sad eyes; kind, I believe, but quiet and unhappy. Next to my mother, I think he loved me more than anything else in the world, since he put in so much effort to teach me, and what he taught me I have never forgotten.[Pg 240] Perhaps it was his only source of joy, and that might be why I had no governess or teacher of any kind while he was alive.
I used to be taken to see my mother every day, and sometimes twice a day, for an hour at a time. Then I sat upon a little stool near her feet, and she would ask me what I had been doing, and what I wanted to do. I dare say she saw already the seeds of a profound melancholy in my nature, for she looked at me always with a sad smile, and kissed me with a sigh when I was taken away.
I used to visit my mom every day, and sometimes even twice a day, for an hour each time. I would sit on a small stool near her feet while she asked me what I had been up to and what I wanted to do. I bet she noticed the beginnings of a deep sadness in me because she always looked at me with a sad smile and kissed me with a sigh when it was time to leave.
One night, when I was just six years old, I lay awake in the nursery. The door was not quite shut, and the Welsh nurse was sitting sewing in the next room. Suddenly I heard her groan, and say in a strange voice. "One—two—one—two!" I was frightened, and I jumped up and ran to the door, barefooted as I was.
One night, when I was only six years old, I was lying awake in the nursery. The door wasn't fully closed, and the Welsh nurse was in the next room, sewing. Suddenly, I heard her groan and say in a weird voice, "One—two—one—two!" I got scared and jumped up, running to the door, barefoot.
"What is it, Judith?" I cried, clinging to her skirts. I can remember the look in her strange dark eyes as she answered.
"What is it, Judith?" I yelled, holding onto her skirts. I can still recall the expression in her unusual dark eyes as she responded.
"One—two leaden coffins, fallen from the ceiling!" she crooned, working herself in her chair. "One—two—a light coffin and a heavy coffin, falling to the floor!"
"One—two heavy coffins, dropped from the ceiling!" she sang, shifting in her chair. "One—two—a light coffin and a heavy coffin, hitting the floor!"
Then she seemed to notice me, and she took me back to bed and sang me to sleep with a queer old Welsh song.
Then she seemed to notice me, and she took me back to bed and sang me to sleep with a strange old Welsh song.
I do not know how it was, but the impression got hold of me that she had meant that my father and mother were going to die very soon. They died in the very room where she had been sitting that night. It was a great room, my day nursery, full of sun when there was any; and when the days were dark it was the most cheerful place in the house. My mother grew rapidly worse, and I was transferred to another part of the building to make place for her. They thought my nursery was gayer for her, I suppose; but she could not live. She was beautiful when she was dead, and I cried bitterly.
I don't know how it happened, but I got the feeling that she meant my dad and mom were going to die very soon. They passed away in the same room where she had been sitting that night. It was a large room, my childhood nursery, filled with sunlight when there was any; and on dark days, it was the happiest place in the house. My mom quickly got worse, and they moved me to another part of the building to make room for her. They thought my nursery was brighter for her, I guess; but she couldn't survive. She looked beautiful when she died, and I cried so hard.
"The light one, the light one—the heavy one to come," crooned the Welshwoman. And she was right. My father took the room after my mother was gone, and day by day he grew thinner and paler and sadder.
"The light one, the light one—the heavy one to come," sang the Welshwoman. And she was right. My father took over the room after my mother left, and each day he became thinner, paler, and sadder.
"The heavy one, the heavy one—all of lead," moaned my nurse, one night in December, standing still, just as she was going to take away the light after putting me to bed. Then she took me up again, and wrapped me in a little gown, and led me away to my father's room. She knocked, but no one answered. She opened the door, and we found him in his easy-chair before the fire, very white, quite dead.
"The heavy one, the heavy one—all made of lead," my nurse sighed one December night, standing still right before she was about to turn off the light after putting me to bed. Then she picked me up again, wrapped me in a little gown, and took me to my father's room. She knocked, but there was no answer. She opened the door, and we found him in his easy chair in front of the fire, very pale, completely dead.
So I was alone with the Welshwoman till[Pg 242] strange people came, and relations, whom I had never seen; and then I heard them saying that I must be taken away to some more cheerful place. They were kind people, and I will not believe that they were kind only because I was to be very rich when I grew to be a man. The world never seemed to be a very bad place to me, nor all the people to be miserable sinners, even when I was most melancholy. I do not remember that any one ever did me any great injustice, nor that I was ever oppressed or ill-treated in any way, even by the boys at school. I was sad, I suppose, because my childhood was so gloomy, and, later, because I was unlucky in everything I undertook, till I finally believed I was pursued by fate, and I used to dream that the old Welsh nurse and the Woman of the Water between them had vowed to pursue me to my end. But my natural disposition should have been cheerful, as I have often thought.
So I was alone with the Welsh woman until[Pg 242] some strange people showed up, along with relatives I had never met; then I heard them say that I needed to be taken to a happier place. They were nice people, and I refuse to believe they were only kind because I was going to be very wealthy when I grew up. The world never seemed like a terrible place to me, nor did I see all people as miserable sinners, even when I felt my saddest. I don’t remember anyone doing me any serious wrong, or that I was ever oppressed or mistreated in any way, even by the boys at school. I suppose I was sad because my childhood was so dark, and later, because I was unlucky in everything I tried, until I came to think I was cursed by fate. I used to dream that the old Welsh nurse and the Woman of the Water had sworn to follow me to the end. But I often think my true nature should have been more cheerful.
Among lads of my age I was never last, or even among the last, in anything; but I was never first. If I trained for a race, I was sure to sprain my ankle on the day when I was to run. If I pulled an oar with others, my oar was sure to break. If I competed for a prize, some unforseen accident prevented my winning it at the last moment. Nothing to which I put my hand succeeded, and I got the reputation of being unlucky, until my [Pg 243]companions felt it was always safe to bet against me, no matter what the appearances might be. I became discouraged and listless in everything. I gave up the idea of competing for any distinction at the University, comforting myself with the thought that I could not fail in the examination for the ordinary degree. The day before the examination began I fell ill; and when at last I recovered, after a narrow escape from death, I turned my back upon Oxford, and went down alone to visit the old place where I had been born, feeble in health and profoundly disgusted and discouraged. I was twenty-one years of age, master of myself and of my fortune; but so deeply had the long chain of small unlucky circumstances affected me, that I thought seriously of shutting myself up from the world to live the life of a hermit, and to die as soon as possible. Death seemed the only cheerful possibility in my existence, and my thoughts soon dwelt upon it altogether.
Among guys my age, I was never last or even among the last in anything, but I was never first either. If I trained for a race, I'd always end up spraining my ankle on the day of the event. If I rowed with others, my oar was guaranteed to break. If I was in the running for a prize, some unexpected mishap would stop me from winning it at the last minute. Nothing I tried to do was successful, and I gained a reputation for being unlucky, to the point where my [Pg 243]friends felt it was safe to bet against me, no matter how things looked. I became discouraged and apathetic about everything. I gave up on the idea of competing for any accolades at the University, comforting myself with the thought that I wouldn’t fail the exam for the ordinary degree. The day before the exam started, I fell ill; and when I finally recovered, after a close call with death, I turned away from Oxford and went back alone to the place where I was born, weak in health and deeply frustrated and demoralized. I was twenty-one, in control of my life and my future, but the long string of minor misfortunes had affected me so much that I seriously considered isolating myself from the world to live as a hermit and die as soon as I could. Death felt like the only bright prospect in my life, and my thoughts quickly became consumed with it.
I had never shown any wish to return to my own home since I had been taken away as a little boy, and no one had ever pressed me to do so. The place had been kept in order after a fashion, and did not seem to have suffered during the fifteen years or more of my absence. Nothing earthly could affect those old grey walls that had fought the elements for so many centuries. The garden[Pg 244] was more wild than I remembered it; the marble causeways about the pools looked more yellow and damp than of old, and the whole place at first looked smaller. It was not until I had wandered about the house and grounds for many hours that I realised the huge size of the home where I was to live in solitude. Then I began to delight in it, and my resolution to live alone grew stronger.
I had never wanted to go back home since I was taken away as a kid, and no one ever urged me to do so. The place had been kept in decent shape and didn’t seem to have deteriorated during the fifteen years or so that I was gone. Nothing could touch those old grey walls that had withstood the elements for so many centuries. The garden[Pg 244] was wilder than I remembered; the marble walkways around the pools looked yellower and damper than before, and at first, everything felt smaller. It wasn’t until I explored the house and grounds for hours that I realized how enormous the home was where I would be living alone. Then I began to take pleasure in it, and my determination to live in solitude grew stronger.
The people had turned out to welcome me, of course, and I tried to recognise the changed faces of the old gardener and the old housekeeper, and to call them by name. My old nurse I knew at once. She had grown very grey since she heard the coffins fall in the nursery fifteen years before, but her strange eyes were the same, and the look in them woke all my old memories. She went over the house with me.
The people had shown up to greet me, of course, and I tried to recognize the changed faces of the old gardener and the old housekeeper, trying to remember their names. I recognized my old nurse immediately. She had gone quite grey since the coffins fell in the nursery fifteen years ago, but her unusual eyes were the same, and the expression in them brought back all my old memories. She walked through the house with me.
"And how is the Woman of the Water?" I asked, trying to laugh a little. "Does she still play in the moonlight?"
"And how is the Woman of the Water?" I asked, trying to chuckle a bit. "Does she still dance in the moonlight?"
"She is hungry," answered the Welshwoman, in a low voice.
"She's hungry," replied the Welshwoman, softly.
"Hungry? Then we will feed her." I laughed. But old Judith turned very pale, and looked at me strangely.
"Hungry? Then we'll feed her." I laughed. But old Judith went very pale and looked at me oddly.
"Feed her? Ay—you will feed her well," she muttered, glancing behind her at the ancient housekeeper, who tottered after us with feeble steps through the halls and passages.
"Feed her? Yeah—you'll feed her well," she muttered, glancing back at the elderly housekeeper, who slowly followed us with weak steps through the halls and passages.
I did not think much of her words. She had always talked oddly, as Welshwomen will, and though I was very melancholy I am sure I was not superstitious, and I was certainly not timid. Only, as in a far-off dream, I seemed to see her standing with the light in her hand and muttering, "The heavy one—all of lead," and then leading a little boy through the long corridors to see his father lying dead in a great easy-chair before a smouldering fire. So we went over the house, and I chose the rooms where I would live; and the servants I had brought with me ordered and arranged everything, and I had no more trouble. I did not care what they did, provided I was left in peace, and was not expected to give directions; for I was more listless than ever, owing to the effects of my illness at college.
I didn't think much of her words. She had always spoken strangely, as Welsh women do, and although I was very downcast, I was sure I wasn't superstitious and definitely not scared. Yet, like in some distant dream, I seemed to see her standing with a light in her hand, mumbling, "The heavy one—all of lead," and then guiding a little boy through the long hallways to see his father dead in a big easy chair by a smoldering fire. So we went through the house, and I picked the rooms where I would live; the staff I had brought with me took care of everything, and I had no more worries. I didn't care what they did, as long as I was left alone and didn't have to give any instructions; I felt more indifferent than ever because of the lingering effects of my illness from college.
I dined in solitary state, and the melancholy grandeur of the vast old dining-room pleased me. Then I went to the room I had selected for my study, and sat down in a deep chair, under a bright light, to think, or to let my thoughts meander through labyrinths of their own choosing, utterly indifferent to the course they might take.
I had dinner alone, and the somber elegance of the large old dining room was pleasing to me. Then I went to the room I had chosen for my study and sat down in a comfy chair, under a bright light, to think or to let my thoughts wander through their own twists and turns, completely unconcerned about where they might lead.
The tall windows of the room opened to the level of the ground upon the terrace at the head of the garden. It was in the end of July,[Pg 246] and everything was open, for the weather was warm. As I sat alone I heard the unceasing plash of the great fountains, and I fell to thinking of the Woman of the Water. I rose, and went out into the still night, and sat down upon a seat on the terrace, between two gigantic Italian flower-pots. The air was deliciously soft and sweet with the smell of the flowers, and the garden was more congenial to me than the house. Sad people always like running water and the sound of it at night, though I cannot tell why. I sat and listened in the gloom, for it was dark below, and the pale moon had not yet climbed over the hills in front of me, though all the air above was light with her rising beams. Slowly the white halo in the eastern sky ascended in an arch above the wooded crests, making the outline of the mountains more intensely black by contrast, as though the head of some great white saint were rising from behind a screen in a vast cathedral, throwing misty glories from below. I longed to see the moon herself, and I tried to reckon the seconds before she must appear. Then she sprang up quickly, and in a moment more hung round and perfect in the sky. I gazed at her, and then at the floating spray of the tall fountains, and down at the pools, where the water-lilies were rocking softly[Pg 247] in their sleep on the velvet surface of the moonlit water. Just then a great swan floated out silently into the midst of the basin, and wreathed his long neck, catching the water in his broad bill, and scattering showers of diamonds around him.
The tall windows of the room opened up to the ground level of the terrace at the head of the garden. It was the end of July,[Pg 246] and everything was open because the weather was warm. As I sat alone, I heard the constant sound of the big fountains, and I started thinking about the Woman of the Water. I got up and stepped out into the still night, sitting on a bench on the terrace, between two massive Italian flower pots. The air was wonderfully soft and sweet with the scent of the flowers, and the garden felt more inviting to me than the house. Sad people always seem to be drawn to running water and its sound at night, though I can’t explain why. I sat there, listening in the darkness, as it was dim below, and the pale moon hadn’t yet risen above the hills in front of me, even though the air above was bright with her light. Slowly, the white halo in the eastern sky arched above the treetops, making the mountains look even darker by contrast, like the head of some great white saint rising from behind a screen in a vast cathedral, casting misty glories from below. I yearned to see the moon herself, counting the seconds until she would appear. Then, she shot up quickly, and in just a moment became perfectly round in the sky. I looked at her, then at the mist from the tall fountains, and down at the pools where the water lilies were gently rocking in their sleep on the velvet surface of the moonlit water. Just then, a large swan glided out silently into the middle of the basin, twisting its long neck to catch the water in its broad bill, scattering showers of diamonds around it.
Suddenly, as I gazed, something came between me and the light. I looked up instantly. Between me and the round disc of the moon rose a luminous face of a woman, with great strange eyes, and a woman's mouth, full and soft, but not smiling, hooded in black, staring at me as I sat still upon my bench. She was close to me—so close that I could have touched her with my hand. But I was transfixed and helpless. She stood still for a moment, but her expression did not change. Then she passed swiftly away, and my hair stood up on my head, while the cold breeze from her white dress was wafted to my temples as she moved. The moonlight, shining through the tossing spray of the fountain, made traceries of shadow on the gleaming folds of her garments. In an instant she was gone, and I was alone.
Suddenly, as I looked, something came between me and the light. I immediately glanced up. Between me and the round disc of the moon appeared the luminous face of a woman, with large, unusual eyes and a soft, full mouth that wasn’t smiling, hooded in black, staring at me as I sat still on my bench. She was so close I could have touched her with my hand. But I was frozen and helpless. She stood still for a moment, but her expression didn’t change. Then she quickly moved away, and my hair stood on end while a cold breeze from her white dress brushed against my forehead as she passed. The moonlight, shining through the splashing water of the fountain, created patterns of shadow on the shimmering folds of her clothing. In an instant, she was gone, and I was alone.
I was strangely shaken by the vision, and some time passed before I could rise to my feet, for I was still weak from my illness, and the sight I had seen would have startled any one.[Pg 248] I did not reason with myself, for I was certain that I had looked on the unearthly, and no argument could have destroyed that belief. At last I got up and stood unsteadily, gazing in the direction in which I thought the figure had gone; but there was nothing to be seen—nothing but the broad paths, the tall, dark evergreen hedges, the tossing water of the fountains and the smooth pool below. I fell back upon the seat and recalled the face I had seen. Strange to say, now that the first impression had passed, there was nothing startling in the recollection; on the contrary, I felt that I was fascinated by the face, and would give anything to see it again. I could retrace the beautiful straight features, the long dark eyes and the wonderful mouth, most exactly in my mind, and, when I had reconstructed every detail from memory, I knew that the whole was beautiful, and that I should love a woman with such a face.
I was oddly shaken by the vision, and it took me a while to get back on my feet because I was still weak from my illness, and what I had seen would have startled anyone.[Pg 248] I didn’t try to reason with myself because I was sure I had witnessed something otherworldly, and no argument could change that belief. Eventually, I got up and stood unsteadily, looking in the direction where I thought the figure had gone; but there was nothing to see—just the wide paths, the tall, dark evergreen hedges, the splashing water of the fountains, and the still pool below. I slumped back onto the seat and recalled the face I had seen. Strangely enough, now that the initial shock had faded, the memory wasn’t startling; on the contrary, I found myself captivated by the face and would give anything to see it again. I could clearly picture the beautiful, straight features, the long dark eyes, and the amazing mouth in my mind, and once I had pieced together every detail, I knew that the whole was stunning, and I would fall in love with a woman who had such a face.
"I wonder whether she is the Woman of the Water!" I said to myself. Then rising once more I wandered down the garden, descending one short flight of steps after another, from terrace to terrace by the edge of the marble basins, through the shadow and through the moonlight; and I crossed the water by the rustic bridge above the artificial grotto, and climbed slowly up again to the highest[Pg 249] terrace by the other side. The air seemed sweeter, and I was very calm, so that I think I smiled to myself as I walked, as though a new happiness had come to me. The woman's face seemed always before me, and the thought of it gave me an unwonted thrill of pleasure, unlike anything I had ever felt before.
"I wonder if she is the Woman of the Water!" I said to myself. Then, rising again, I wandered down the garden, going down one short flight of steps after another, from terrace to terrace by the edge of the marble basins, moving through the shadows and the moonlight; I crossed the water via the rustic bridge above the artificial grotto, and slowly climbed back up to the highest[Pg 249] terrace on the other side. The air felt sweeter, and I was very calm, so I think I smiled to myself as I walked, as if a new happiness had come to me. The woman's face seemed to continually appear in my mind, and the thought of it brought me an unexpected thrill of pleasure, unlike anything I had ever felt before.
I turned, as I reached the house, and looked back upon the scene. It had certainly changed in the short hour since I had come out, and my mood had changed with it. Just like my luck, I thought, to fall in love with a ghost! But in old times I would have sighed, and gone to bed more sad than ever, at such a melancholy conclusion. To-night I felt happy, almost for the first time in my life. The gloomy old study seemed cheerful when I went in. The old pictures on the walls smiled at me, and I sat down in my deep chair with a new and delightful sensation that I was not alone. The idea of having seen a ghost, and of feeling much the better for it, was so absurd that I laughed softly, as I took up one of the books I had brought with me and began to read.
I turned as I reached the house and looked back at the scene. It had definitely changed in the short hour since I had come out, and my mood had changed with it. Just like my luck, I thought, to fall in love with a ghost! But in the past, I would have sighed and gone to bed feeling even sadder at such a gloomy conclusion. Tonight, I felt happy, almost for the first time in my life. The gloomy old study seemed cheerful when I walked in. The old pictures on the walls seemed to smile at me, and I settled into my deep chair with a new and delightful feeling that I wasn’t alone. The idea of having seen a ghost and feeling much better for it was so ridiculous that I laughed softly as I picked up one of the books I had brought with me and started to read.
That impression did not wear off. I slept peacefully, and in the morning I threw open my windows to the summer air, and looked down at the garden, at the stretches of green and at the coloured flower-beds, at the circling swallows, and at the bright water.
That feeling didn’t fade. I slept soundly, and in the morning, I threw open my windows to the summer air, looked down at the garden, at the expanses of green and the colorful flower beds, at the swooping swallows, and at the sparkling water.
"A man might make a paradise of this place," I exclaimed. "A man and a woman together!"
"A man could turn this place into paradise," I exclaimed. "A man and a woman together!"
From that day the old castle no longer seemed gloomy, and I think I ceased to be sad; for some time, too, I began to take an interest in the place, and to try and make it more alive. I avoided my old Welsh nurse, lest she should damp my humour with some dismal prophecy, and recall my old self by bringing back memories of my dismal childhood. But what I thought of most was the ghostly figure I had seen in the garden that first night after my arrival. I went out every evening and wandered through the walks and paths; but, try as I might, I did not see my vision again. At last, after many days, the memory grew more faint, and my old moody nature gradually overcame the temporary sense of lightness I had experienced. The summer turned to autumn, and I grew restless. It began to rain. The dampness pervaded the gardens, and the outer halls smelled musty, like tombs; the grey sky oppressed me intolerably. I left the place as it was and went abroad, determined to try anything which might possibly make a second break in the monotonous melancholy from which I suffered.
From that day on, the old castle didn’t feel so gloomy anymore, and I think I stopped being sad; for a while, I even started to take an interest in the place and tried to make it feel more alive. I avoided my old Welsh nurse, hoping she wouldn't ruin my mood with some gloomy prediction and remind me of my sad childhood. But what occupied my thoughts the most was the ghostly figure I had seen in the garden that first night after I arrived. Every evening, I ventured out and wandered through the paths, but no matter how hard I tried, I didn’t see that vision again. Eventually, after many days, the memory faded, and my old moody nature slowly took over the fleeting sense of lightness I had felt. Summer turned to autumn, and I became restless. It started to rain. The dampness filled the gardens, and the outer halls smelled musty, like tombs; the grey sky weighed down on me unbearably. I left things as they were and went abroad, determined to try anything that might break the monotonous sadness I was experiencing.
CHAPTER 2
Most people would be struck by the utter insignificance of the small events which, after the death of my parents influenced my life and made me unhappy. The gruesome forebodings of a Welsh nurse, which chanced to be realised by an odd coincidence of events, should not seem enough to change the nature of a child, and to direct the bent of his character in after years. The little disappointments of schoolboy life, and the somewhat less childish ones of an uneventful and undistinguished academic career, should not have sufficed to turn me out at one-and-twenty years of age a melancholic, listless idler. Some weakness of my own character may have contributed to the result, but in a greater degree it was due to my having a reputation for bad luck. However, I will not try to analyse the causes of my state, for I should satisfy nobody, least of all myself. Still less will I attempt to explain why I felt a temporary revival of my spirits after my adventure in the garden. It is certain that I was in love with the face I had seen, and that I longed to see it again; that I gave up all hope of a second visitation, grew more sad than ever, packed up my traps, and finally went abroad. But in my dreams I went back to my home, and it[Pg 252] always appeared to me sunny and bright, as it had looked on that summer's morning after I had seen the woman by the fountain.
Most people would be amazed by how insignificant the small events that followed the death of my parents were, despite their impact on my life and the unhappiness they caused me. The grim predictions of a Welsh nurse, which happened to come true through a strange twist of fate, shouldn’t be enough to change a child’s nature or shape his character in later years. The little disappointments of school life, along with the somewhat more adult disappointments of an uneventful and unremarkable academic career, shouldn’t have been enough to turn me, at twenty-one, into a melancholic, aimless drifter. Some flaws in my own character may have played a part, but more significantly, it was because I had a reputation for having bad luck. However, I won’t try to analyze why I ended up like this because I wouldn’t satisfy anyone, least of all myself. Even less will I attempt to explain why I felt a brief lift in my spirits after my adventure in the garden. What’s clear is that I was in love with the face I had seen, and I longed to see it again; yet I eventually gave up hope of ever encountering it again, becoming even sadder, packing my things, and ultimately going abroad. But in my dreams, I went back to my home, and it[Pg 252] always appeared to me sunny and bright, just like it did on that summer morning after I had seen the woman by the fountain.
I went to Paris. I went further, and wandered about Germany. I tried to amuse myself, and I failed miserably. With the aimless whims of an idle and useless man, came all sorts of suggestions for good resolutions. One day I made up my mind that I would go and bury myself in a German university for a time, and live simply like a poor student. I started with the intention of going to Leipzic, determined to stay there until some event should direct my life or change my humour, or make an end of me altogether. The express train stopped at some station of which I did not know the name. It was dusk on a winter's afternoon, and I peered through the thick glass from my seat. Suddenly another train came gliding in from the opposite direction, and stopped alongside of ours. I looked at the carriage which chanced to be abreast of mine, and idly read the black letters painted on a white board swinging from the brass handrail: "Berlin—Cologne—Paris." Then I looked up at the window above. I started violently and the cold perspiration broke out upon my forehead. In the dim light, not six feet from where I sat, I saw the face of a woman, the face I loved, the straight, fine features, the strange eyes, the [Pg 253]wonderful mouth, the pale skin. Her head-dress was a dark veil which seemed to be tied about her head and passed over the shoulders under her chin. As I threw down the window and knelt on the cushioned seat, leaning far out to get a better view, a long whistle screamed through the station, followed by a quick series of dull, clanking sounds; then there was a slight jerk, and my train moved on. Luckily the window was narrow, being the one over the seat, beside the door, or I believe I would have jumped out of it then and there. In an instant the speed increased, and I was being carried swiftly away in the opposite direction from the thing I loved.
I went to Paris. I went further and wandered around Germany. I tried to have fun, but I failed miserably. With the aimless whims of a lazy and useless guy, all kinds of good resolutions popped into my head. One day, I decided that I would bury myself in a German university for a while and live simply like a broke student. I set out with the plan to go to Leipzig, determined to stay there until something happened to change my life, my mood, or to end it all. The express train stopped at a station whose name I didn’t know. It was getting dark on a winter afternoon, and I peered through the thick glass from my seat. Suddenly, another train glided in from the opposite direction and stopped next to ours. I looked at the carriage that was next to mine and casually read the black letters on a white sign swinging from the brass handrail: "Berlin—Cologne—Paris." Then I looked up at the window above. I jolted in shock, and cold sweat broke out on my forehead. In the dim light, not six feet from where I sat, I saw the face of a woman, the woman I loved, with her straight, fine features, strange eyes, amazing mouth, and pale skin. Her headscarf was a dark veil that seemed tied around her head and draped over her shoulders under her chin. As I threw down the window and knelt on the cushioned seat, leaning out for a better view, a long whistle rang out through the station, followed by a series of dull, clanking sounds; then there was a slight jerk, and my train moved on. Fortunately, the window was narrow, being the one over the seat by the door, or I believe I would have jumped out of it right then and there. In an instant, the speed picked up, and I was being carried away quickly in the opposite direction from the thing I loved.
For a quarter of an hour I lay back in my place, stunned by the suddenness of the apparition. At last one of the two other passengers, a large and gorgeous captain of the White Königsberg Cuirassiers, civilly but firmly suggested that I might shut my window, as the evening was cold. I did so, with an apology, and relapsed into silence. The train ran swiftly on for a long time, and it was already beginning to slacken speed before entering another station when I roused myself, and made a sudden resolution. As the carriage stopped before the brilliantly lighted platform, I seized my belongings, saluted my fellow-passengers, and got out, determined to take the first express back to Paris.
For about fifteen minutes, I lay back in my seat, shocked by the sudden appearance. Finally, one of the other passengers, a big and impressive captain of the White Königsberg Cuirassiers, politely but firmly suggested that I might want to close my window since the evening was chilly. I did so, apologizing, and fell silent again. The train sped along for quite a while, and it was just starting to slow down before pulling into another station when I shook myself awake and made a quick decision. As the train stopped at the brightly lit platform, I grabbed my things, waved goodbye to my fellow passengers, and got out, determined to catch the first express back to Paris.
This time the circumstances of the vision had been so natural that it did not strike me that there was anything unreal about the face, or about the woman to whom it belonged. I did not try to explain to myself how the face, and the woman, could be travelling by a fast train from Berlin to Paris on a winter's afternoon, when both were in my mind indelibly associated with the moonlight and the fountains in my own English home. I certainly would not have admitted that I had been mistaken in the dusk, attributing to what I had seen a resemblance to my former vision which did not really exist. There was not the slightest doubt in my mind, and I was positively sure that I had again seen the face I loved. I did not hesitate, and in a few hours I was on my way back to Paris. I could not help reflecting on my ill-luck. Wandering as I had been for many months, it might as easily have chanced that I should be travelling in the same train with that woman, instead of going the other way. But my luck was destined to turn for a time.
This time, the details of the vision felt so natural that I didn’t think there was anything off about the face or the woman it belonged to. I didn’t try to figure out how the face and the woman could be traveling on a fast train from Berlin to Paris on a winter afternoon when both were clearly tied to the moonlight and the fountains of my English home. I definitely wouldn’t have admitted that I had been mistaken in the dim light, mistakenly seeing a resemblance to my previous vision that didn’t actually exist. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind; I was completely sure that I had seen the face I loved again. I didn’t hesitate, and within a few hours, I was back on my way to Paris. I couldn’t help but think about my bad luck. After wandering for many months, it easily could have happened that I was on the same train as that woman instead of heading in the opposite direction. But my luck was about to change.
I searched Paris for several days. I dined at the principal hotels; I went to the theatres; I rode in the Bois de Boulogne in the morning, and picked up an acquaintance, whom I forced to drive with me in the afternoon. I went to mass at the Madeleine, and I attended the services at the [Pg 255]English Church. I hung about the Louvre and Notre Dame. I went to Versailles. I spent hours in parading the Rue de Rivoli, in the neighbourhood of Meurice's corner, where foreigners pass and re-pass from morning till night. At last I received an invitation to a reception at the English Embassy. I went, and I found what I had sought so long.
I searched Paris for several days. I ate at the main hotels; I went to the theaters; I rode in the Bois de Boulogne in the morning and picked up a friend, who I insisted on driving around with in the afternoon. I went to mass at the Madeleine and attended services at the [Pg 255]English Church. I lingered around the Louvre and Notre Dame. I visited Versailles. I spent hours walking the Rue de Rivoli, near Meurice's corner, where tourists come and go from morning till night. Finally, I got an invitation to a reception at the English Embassy. I went and found what I had been searching for all along.
There she was, sitting by an old lady in grey satin and diamonds, who had a wrinkled but kindly face and keen grey eyes that seemed to take in everything they saw, with very little inclination to give much in return. But I did not notice the chaperon. I saw only the face that had haunted me for months, and in the excitement of the moment I walked quickly towards the pair, forgetting such a trifle as the necessity for an introduction.
There she was, sitting next to an old lady in grey satin and diamonds, who had a wrinkled but friendly face and sharp grey eyes that seemed to notice everything around them, with little desire to share much in return. But I didn't pay any attention to the chaperone. I could only see the face that had captivated me for months, and in the heat of the moment, I quickly walked toward the two of them, completely forgetting about the need for an introduction.
She was far more beautiful than I had thought, but I never doubted that it was she herself and no other. Vision or no vision before, this was the reality, and I knew it. Twice her hair had been covered, now at last I saw it, and the added beauty of its magnificence glorified the whole woman. It was rich hair, fine and abundant, golden, with deep ruddy tints in it like red bronze spun fine. There was no ornament in it, not a rose, not a thread of gold, and I felt that it needed nothing to enhance[Pg 256] its splendour; nothing but her pale face, her dark strange eyes, and her heavy eyebrows. I could see that she was slender, too, but strong withal, as she sat there quietly gazing at the moving scene in the midst of the brilliant lights and the hum of perpetual conversation.
She was way more beautiful than I had imagined, but I never doubted that it was her and no one else. Whether I had a vision or not before, this was the reality, and I knew it. Twice her hair had been covered, but now at last I saw it, and the added beauty of its magnificence lit up the whole woman. It was rich hair, fine and plentiful, golden with deep reddish hues like finely spun red bronze. There was no adornment in it, not a rose, not a thread of gold, and I felt it needed nothing to enhance[Pg 256] its splendor; nothing but her pale face, her dark, unique eyes, and her thick eyebrows. I could see that she was slender, too, but strong as she sat there quietly watching the moving scene amidst the bright lights and the buzz of continuous conversation.
I recollected the detail of introduction in time, and turned aside to look for my host. I found him at last. I begged him to present me to the two ladies, pointing them out to him at the same time.
I remembered the introduction details and looked around for my host. I finally found him. I asked him to introduce me to the two ladies, pointing them out to him as well.
"Yes—uh—by all means—uh—" replied his Excellency, with a pleasant smile. He evidently had no idea of my name, which was not to be wondered at.
"Yes—uh—definitely—uh—" replied his Excellency, with a friendly smile. He clearly had no idea what my name was, which was understandable.
"I am Lord Cairngorm," I observed.
"I am Lord Cairngorm," I noted.
"Oh—by all means," answered the Ambassador, with the same hospitable smile. "Yes—uh—the fact is, I must try and find out who they are; such lots of people, you know."
"Oh—of course," replied the Ambassador, still smiling warmly. "Well—uh—the truth is, I need to figure out who they are; there are so many people, you know."
"Oh, if you will present me, I will try and find out for you," said I, laughing.
"Oh, if you introduce me, I’ll try to find out for you," I said, laughing.
"Ah, yes—so kind of you—come along," said my host.
"Ah, yes—thanks so much—come on in," said my host.
We threaded the crowd, and in a few minutes we stood before the two ladies.
We made our way through the crowd, and in a few minutes, we were standing in front of the two ladies.
"'Lowmintrduce L'd Cairngorm," he said; then, adding quickly to me, "Come and dine[Pg 257] to-morrow, won't you?" He glided away with his pleasant smile, and disappeared in the crowd.
"'Lowmintrduce L'd Cairngorm," he said; then, quickly adding to me, "Come and have dinner[Pg 257] tomorrow, won't you?" He glided away with his warm smile and vanished into the crowd.
I sat down beside the beautiful girl, conscious that the eyes of the duenna were upon me.
I sat down next to the beautiful girl, aware that the duenna was watching me.
"I think we have been very near meeting before," I remarked, by way of opening the conversation.
"I think we've been close to meeting before," I said, trying to start the conversation.
My companion turned her eyes full upon me with an air of enquiry. She evidently did not recall my face, if she had ever seen me.
My companion gazed at me with a look of curiosity. She clearly didn’t remember my face, if she had ever seen me before.
"Really—I cannot remember," she observed, in a low and musical voice. "When?"
"Honestly—I can't remember," she said in a soft and melodic voice. "When?"
"In the first place, you came down from Berlin by the express, ten days ago. I was going the other way, and our carriages stopped opposite each other. I saw you at the window."
"In the first place, you came down from Berlin by the express train ten days ago. I was traveling the other way, and our carriages stopped facing each other. I saw you at the window."
"Yes—we came that way, but I do not remember—" She hesitated.
"Yes—we came that way, but I don't remember—" She paused.
"Secondly," I continued, "I was sitting alone in my garden last summer—near the end of July—do you remember? You must have wandered in there through the park; you came up to the house and looked at me—"
"Secondly," I continued, "I was sitting by myself in my garden last summer—toward the end of July—do you remember? You must have strolled in there through the park; you came up to the house and looked at me—"
"Was that you?" she asked, in evident surprise. Then she broke into a laugh. "I told everybody I had seen a ghost; there had never been any Cairngorms in the place since the memory of man. We left the next day, and never heard that you[Pg 258] had come there; indeed, I did not know the castle belonged to you."
"Was that you?" she asked, clearly surprised. Then she burst out laughing. "I told everyone I saw a ghost; there had never been any Cairngorms in that place for as long as anyone could remember. We left the next day and never heard that you[Pg 258] had been there; actually, I didn't even know the castle was yours."
"Where were you staying?" I asked.
"Where were you staying?" I asked.
"Where? Why, with my aunt, where I always stay. She is your neighbour, since it is you."
"Where? Oh, I'm with my aunt, where I always stay. She’s your neighbor, since it’s you."
"I—beg your pardon—but then—is your aunt Lady Bluebell? I did not quite catch—"
"I’m sorry, but is your aunt Lady Bluebell? I didn’t quite catch that—"
"Don't be afraid. She is amazingly deaf. Yes. She is the relict of my beloved uncle, the sixteenth or seventeenth Baron Bluebell—I forget exactly how many of them there have been. And I—do you know who I am?" She laughed, well knowing that I did not.
"Don't worry. She's incredibly deaf. Yeah. She's the last of my dear uncle, the sixteenth or seventeenth Baron Bluebell—I can’t quite remember how many there have been. And I—do you know who I am?" She laughed, fully aware that I didn’t.
"No," I answered frankly. "I have not the least idea. I asked to be introduced because I recognised you. Perhaps—perhaps you are a Miss Bluebell?"
"No," I replied honestly. "I have no idea at all. I asked to be introduced because I recognized you. Maybe—maybe you're Miss Bluebell?"
"Considering that you are a neighbour, I will tell you who I am," she answered. "No; I am of the tribe of Bluebells, but my name is Lammas, and I have been given to understand that I was christened Margaret. Being a floral family, they call me Daisy. A dreadful American man once told me that my aunt was a Bluebell and that I was a Harebell—with two l's and an e—because my hair is so thick. I warn you, so that you may avoid making such a bad pun."
"Since you’re a neighbor, I’ll tell you who I am," she replied. "No, I belong to the Bluebell tribe, but my name is Lammas, and I understand I was given the name Margaret at my baptism. Being from a floral family, they call me Daisy. A terrible American once told me that my aunt was a Bluebell and that I was a Harebell—with two l's and an e—because my hair is so thick. I'm warning you so you can avoid making such a bad pun."
"Do I look like a man who makes puns?" I[Pg 259] asked, being very conscious of my melancholy face and sad looks.
"Do I look like someone who makes puns?" I[Pg 259] asked, very aware of my somber expression and sad appearance.
Miss Lammas eyed me critically.
Miss Lammas looked at me critically.
"No; you have a mournful temperament. I think I can trust you," she answered. "Do you think you could communicate to my aunt the fact that you are a Cairngorm and a neighbour? I am sure she would like to know."
"No; you have a sad demeanor. I think I can rely on you," she replied. "Do you think you could let my aunt know that you're a Cairngorm and a neighbor? I'm sure she'd appreciate knowing."
I leaned towards the old lady, inflating my lungs for a yell. But Miss Lammas stopped me.
I leaned in closer to the old woman, taking a deep breath to yell. But Miss Lammas held me back.
"That is not of the slightest use," she remarked. "You can write it on a bit of paper. She is utterly deaf."
"That’s not helpful at all," she said. "You can just write it down on a piece of paper. She can’t hear a thing."
"I have a pencil," I answered, "but I have no paper. Would my cuff do, do you think?"
"I have a pencil," I replied, "but I don’t have any paper. Do you think my cuff would work?"
"Oh yes!" replied Miss Lammas, with alacrity; "men often do that."
"Oh yes!" Miss Lammas replied eagerly, "guys often do that."
I wrote on my cuff: "Miss Lammas wishes me to explain that I am your neighbour, Cairngorm." Then I held out my arm before the old lady's nose. She seemed perfectly accustomed to the proceeding, put up her glasses, read the words, smiled, nodded, and addressed me in the unearthly voice peculiar to people who hear nothing.
I wrote on my cuff: "Miss Lammas wants me to explain that I'm your neighbor, Cairngorm." Then I held out my arm in front of the old lady's face. She seemed completely used to this, put on her glasses, read the words, smiled, nodded, and spoke to me in the strange voice that people who can't hear tend to use.
"I knew your grandfather very well," she said. Then she smiled and nodded to me again, and to her niece, and relapsed into silence.
"I knew your grandfather really well," she said. Then she smiled and nodded at me again, and at her niece, before falling silent.
"It is all right," remarked Miss Lammas.[Pg 260] "Aunt Bluebell knows she is deaf, and does not say much, like the parrot. You see, she knew your grandfather. How odd, that we should be neighbours! Why have we never met before?"
"It’s fine," said Miss Lammas.[Pg 260] "Aunt Bluebell knows she’s deaf and doesn’t talk much, just like the parrot. You see, she knew your grandfather. How strange that we’ve never met before, being neighbors!"
"If you had told me you knew my grandfather when you appeared in the garden, I should not have been in the least surprised," I answered rather irrelevantly. "I really thought you were the ghost of the old fountain. How in the world did you come there at that hour?"
"If you had told me you knew my grandfather when you showed up in the garden, I wouldn't have been surprised at all," I replied somewhat off-topic. "I actually thought you were the ghost of the old fountain. How on earth did you get there at that time?"
"We were a large party, and we went out for a walk. Then we thought we should like to see what your park was like in the moonlight, and so we trespassed. I got separated from the rest, and came upon you by accident, just as I was admiring the extremely ghostly look of your house, and wondering whether anybody would ever come and live there again. It looks like the castle of Macbeth, or a scene from the opera. Do you know anybody here?"
"We were a big group, and we went out for a walk. Then we thought it’d be nice to see what your park looked like in the moonlight, so we went in without permission. I got separated from the others and ended up finding you by chance, just as I was admiring how eerie your house looked and wondering if anyone would ever live there again. It looks like Macbeth’s castle or a scene from an opera. Do you know anyone here?"
"Hardly a soul. Do you?"
"Hardly anyone. Do you?"
"No. Aunt Bluebell said it was our duty to come. It is easy for her to go out; she does not bear the burden of the conversation."
"No. Aunt Bluebell said we had to come. It's easy for her to go out; she doesn't have to deal with the conversation."
"I am sorry you find it a burden," said I. "Shall I go away?"
"I’m sorry you see it as a burden," I said. "Should I leave?"
Miss Lammas looked at me with a sudden gravity in her beautiful eyes, and there was a sort of hesitation about the lines of her full, soft mouth.
Miss Lammas looked at me with a sudden seriousness in her beautiful eyes, and there was a kind of hesitation in the curves of her full, soft mouth.
"No," she said at last, quite simply, "don't go away. We may like each other, if you stay a little longer—and we ought to because we are neighbours in the country."
"No," she said finally, very simply, "don't leave. We might like each other if you stay a bit longer—and we should, since we're neighbors in the countryside."
I suppose I ought to have thought Miss Lammas a very odd girl. There is, indeed, a sort of freemasonry between people who discover that they live near each other, and that they ought to have known each other before. But there was a sort of unexpected frankness and simplicity in the girl's amusing manner which would have struck any one else as being singular, to say the least of it. To me, however, it all seemed natural enough. I had dreamed of her face too long not to be utterly happy when I met her at last, and could talk to her as much as I pleased. To me, the man of ill-luck in everything, the whole meeting seemed too good to be true. I felt again that strange sensation of lightness which I had experienced after I had seen her face in the garden. The great rooms seemed brighter, life seemed worth living; my sluggish, melancholy blood ran faster, and filled me with a new sense of strength. I said to myself that without this woman I was but an imperfect being, but that with her I could accomplish everything to which I should set my hand. Like the great Doctor, when he thought he had cheated Mephistopheles at last, I could have cried aloud to[Pg 262] the fleeting moment, Verweile doch du bist so schön!
I guess I should have thought Miss Lammas was a very strange girl. There’s definitely a kind of bond between people who find out they live close to each other and feel like they should have known each other before. But there was an unexpected honesty and simplicity in her funny way that would have seemed odd to anyone else, to say the least. For me, though, it all felt completely natural. I had imagined her face for so long that I couldn’t help but feel completely happy when I finally met her and could talk to her as much as I wanted. For me, the guy who never has good luck, the whole encounter felt too good to be true. I felt that strange lightness again, just like when I saw her face in the garden. The big rooms felt brighter, life seemed worth living; my slow, gloomy blood flowed faster, filling me with a new sense of strength. I told myself that without this woman, I was just an incomplete person, but with her, I could achieve anything I set my mind to. Like the great Doctor when he thought he had finally outsmarted Mephistopheles, I could have shouted to[Pg 262] the passing moment, Verweile doch du bist so schön!
"Are you always gay?" I asked suddenly. "How happy you must be!"
"Are you always happy?" I asked suddenly. "You must feel amazing!"
"The days would sometimes seem very long if I were gloomy," she answered thoughtfully. "Yes, I think I find life very pleasant, and I tell it so."
"The days can feel really long when I'm feeling down," she replied thoughtfully. "Yeah, I find life pretty enjoyable, and I let it know."
"How can you 'tell life' anything?" I enquired. "If I could catch my life and talk to it, I would abuse it prodigiously, I assure you."
"How can you 'tell life' anything?" I asked. "If I could grab my life and talk to it, I would totally give it a piece of my mind, I promise you."
"I dare say. You have a melancholy temper. You ought to live out of doors, dig potatoes, make hay, shoot, hunt, tumble into ditches, and come home muddy and hungry for dinner. It would be much better for you than moping in your rook tower, and hating everything."
"I must say, you have quite a gloomy disposition. You should spend more time outdoors, dig up potatoes, make hay, go shooting, hunting, roll around in the mud, and come home dirty and hungry for dinner. It would be so much better for you than sulking in your tower and despising everything."
"It is rather lonely down there," I murmured apologetically, feeling that Miss Lammas was quite right.
"It’s pretty lonely down there," I said quietly, feeling that Miss Lammas was completely right.
"Then marry, and quarrel with your wife," she laughed. "Anything is better than being alone."
"Then go ahead and get married, and fight with your wife," she laughed. "Anything is better than being alone."
"I am a very peaceable person. I never quarrel with anybody. You can try it. You will find it quite impossible."
"I’m a really easygoing person. I never argue with anyone. Go ahead and try it. You’ll see it’s totally impossible."
"Will you let me try?" she asked, still smiling.
"Can I give it a shot?" she asked, still smiling.
"By all means—especially if it is to be only a preliminary canter," I answered rashly.
"Of course—especially if it’s just going to be a quick run," I replied impulsively.
"What do you mean?" she enquired, turning quickly upon me.
"What do you mean?" she asked, turning quickly towards me.
"Oh—nothing. You might try my paces with a view to quarrelling in the future. I cannot imagine how you are going to do it. You will have to resort to immediate and direct abuse."
"Oh—nothing. You could test my patience with the intention of starting a fight later. I can't see how you're planning to pull that off. You'll need to go for straight-up insults."
"No. I will only say that if you do not like your life, it is your own fault. How can a man of your age talk of being melancholy, or of the hollowness of existence? Are you consumptive? Are you subject to hereditary insanity? Are you deaf, like Aunt Bluebell? Are you poor, like—lots of people? Have you been crossed in love? Have you lost the world for a woman, or any particular woman for the sake of the world? Are you feebleminded, a cripple, an outcast? Are you—repulsively ugly?" She laughed again. "Is there any reason in the world why you should not enjoy all you have got in life?"
"No. I’ll just say that if you don’t like your life, it’s your own fault. How can someone your age talk about feeling sad or the emptiness of life? Are you sickly? Do you have inherited mental issues? Are you deaf, like Aunt Bluebell? Are you broke, like lots of people? Have you been hurt by love? Have you given up everything for a woman, or a specific woman for the sake of the world? Are you mentally challenged, disabled, or an outcast? Are you—really unattractive?" She laughed again. "Is there any reason you shouldn’t enjoy everything you have in life?"
"No. There is no reason whatever, except that I am dreadfully unlucky, especially in small things."
"No. There’s really no reason at all, except that I have terrible luck, especially with small things."
"Then try big things, just for a change," suggested Miss Lammas. "Try and get married, for instance, and see how it turns out."
"Then go for it and try some big things, just for a change," suggested Miss Lammas. "How about getting married, and seeing how that goes?"
"If it turned out badly, it would be rather serious."
"If it went poorly, it would be pretty serious."
"Not half so serious as it is to abuse everything[Pg 264] unreasonably. If abuse is your particular talent, abuse something that ought to be abused. Abuse the Conservatives—or the Liberals—it does not matter which, since they are always abusing each other. Make yourself felt by other people. You will like it, if they don't. It will make a man of you. Fill your mouth with pebbles, and howl at the sea, if you cannot do anything else. It did Demosthenes no end of good, you know. You will have the satisfaction of imitating a great man."
"Not nearly as serious as it is to unreasonably criticize everything[Pg 264]. If complaining is your thing, direct it at something that deserves it. Take aim at the Conservatives or the Liberals—it doesn't really matter which, since they're constantly bickering with each other. Make your voice heard by others. You'll enjoy it, even if they don't. It will help you grow. Stuff your mouth with pebbles and shout at the ocean if you can't think of anything else to do. It worked wonders for Demosthenes, you know. You'll get the satisfaction of emulating a great man."
"Really, Miss Lammas, I think the list of innocent exercises you propose—"
"Honestly, Miss Lammas, I believe the list of harmless activities you suggest—"
"Very well—if you don't care for that sort of thing, care for some other sort of thing. Care for something, or hate something. Don't be idle. Life is short, and though art may be long, plenty of noise answers nearly as well."
"Alright—if you don't care for that kind of thing, then care about something else. Care about something, or hate something. Don’t be lazy. Life is short, and even though art takes time, a lot of noise works nearly as well."
"I do care for something—I mean somebody," I said.
"I do care about something—I mean someone," I said.
"A woman? Then marry her. Don't hesitate."
"A woman? Then marry her. Don’t think twice."
"I do not know whether she would marry me," I replied. "I have never asked her."
"I don’t know if she would marry me," I replied. "I’ve never asked her."
"Then ask her at once," answered Miss Lammas. "I shall die happy if I feel I have persuaded a melancholy fellow-creature to rouse himself to action. Ask her, by all means, and see what she says. If she does not accept you at once, she may[Pg 265] take you the next time. Meanwhile, you will have entered for the race. If you lose, there are the 'All-aged Trial Stakes,' and the 'Consolation Race.'"
"Then just ask her right away," replied Miss Lammas. "I’ll feel fulfilled if I can help a sad friend get motivated to take action. Go ahead and ask her, and see what she says. If she doesn’t say yes immediately, she might[Pg 265] say yes next time. In the meantime, you'll have entered the race. If you don’t win, there are the 'All-aged Trial Stakes' and the 'Consolation Race.'"
"And plenty of selling races into the bargain. Shall I take you at your word, Miss Lammas?"
"And there are plenty of selling races too. Should I take you seriously, Miss Lammas?"
"I hope you will," she answered.
"I hope you will," she replied.
"Since you yourself advise me, I will. Miss Lammas, will you do me the honour to marry me?"
"Since you’re the one giving me advice, I will. Miss Lammas, will you do me the honor of marrying me?"
For the first time in my life the blood rushed to my head and my sight swam. I cannot tell why I said it. It would be useless to try to explain the extraordinary fascination the girl exercised over me, or the still more extraordinary feeling of intimacy with her which had grown in me during that half-hour. Lonely, sad, unlucky as I had been all my life, I was certainly not timid, nor even shy. But to propose to marry a woman after half an hour's acquaintance was a piece of madness of which I never believed myself capable, and of which I should never be capable again, could I be placed in the same situation. It was as though my whole being had been changed in a moment by magic—by the white magic of her nature brought into contact with mine. The blood sank back to my heart, and a moment later I found myself staring at her with anxious eyes. To my amazement she was as calm as ever, but her beautiful mouth smiled, and[Pg 266] there was a mischievous light in her dark-brown eyes.
For the first time in my life, I felt blood rush to my head and my vision blurred. I can't explain why I said it. It would be pointless to try to describe the incredible allure the girl had over me, or the even more surprising sense of closeness I had developed with her during that half-hour. Even though I had always been lonely, sad, and unlucky, I was definitely not timid or shy. But asking a woman to marry me after just thirty minutes of knowing her felt completely insane, something I never thought I could do and wouldn’t do again if I found myself in the same situation. It was like my whole being changed in an instant—by the enchanting magic of her nature meeting mine. My blood returned to my heart, and a moment later, I found myself gazing at her with worried eyes. To my surprise, she was as calm as ever, but her beautiful mouth smiled, and there was a playful glint in her dark-brown eyes.
"Fairly caught," she answered. "For an individual who pretends to be listless and sad you are not lacking in humour. I had really not the least idea what you were going to say. Wouldn't it be singularly awkward for you if I had said 'Yes'? I never saw anybody begin to practise so sharply what was preached to him—with so very little loss of time!"
"Fairly caught," she replied. "For someone who acts all tired and gloomy, you have quite a sense of humor. I honestly had no idea what you were going to say. Wouldn't it be really awkward for you if I had said 'Yes'? I've never seen anyone start to practice what they preach so quickly—with so little time wasted!"
"You probably never met a man who had dreamed of you for seven months before being introduced."
"You probably never met a guy who had dreamed about you for seven months before you were introduced."
"No, I never did," she answered gaily. "It smacks of the romantic. Perhaps you are a romantic character after all. I should think you were, if I believed you. Very well; you have taken my advice, entered for a Stranger's Race and lost it. Try the All-aged Trial Stakes. You have another cuff, and a pencil. Propose to Aunt Bluebell; she would dance with astonishment, and she might recover her hearing."
"No, I never did," she replied cheerfully. "It feels a bit romantic. Maybe you are a romantic type after all. I’d think so if I believed you. Alright; you took my advice, entered the Stranger's Race, and lost. Try the All-aged Trial Stakes next. You have another chance and a pencil. Ask Aunt Bluebell; she would be shocked, and she might even get her hearing back."
CHAPTER 3
That was how I first asked Margaret Lammas to be my wife, and I will agree with any one who says I behaved very foolishly. But I have not repented of it, and I never shall. I have long ago understood that I was out of my mind that evening, but I think my temporary insanity on that occasion has had the effect of making me a saner man ever since. Her manner turned my head, for it was so different from what I had expected. To hear this lovely creature, who, in my imagination, was a heroine of romance, if not of tragedy, talking familiarly and laughing readily was more than my equanimity could bear, and I lost my head as well as my heart. But when I went back to England in the spring, I went to make certain arrangements at the Castle—certain changes and improvements which would be absolutely necessary. I had won the race for which I had entered myself so rashly, and we were to be married in June.
That’s how I first asked Margaret Lammas to marry me, and I’ll agree with anyone who says I acted really foolishly. But I don’t regret it, and I never will. I’ve understood for a long time that I wasn’t thinking clearly that evening, but I believe that moment of madness has actually made me a more level-headed person since then. Her attitude blew my mind because it was so different from what I expected. Listening to this beautiful woman, who in my imagination was a heroine from a romance, if not a tragedy, talking casually and laughing easily was more than I could handle, and I lost not just my mind but my heart too. But when I returned to England in the spring, I went to sort out some things at the Castle—some changes and improvements that were absolutely necessary. I had won the race I had entered so recklessly, and we were set to get married in June.
Whether the change was due to the orders I had left with the gardener and the rest of the servants, or to my own state of mind, I cannot tell. At all events, the old place did not look the same to me when I opened my window on the morning after my arrival. There were the grey walls below me,[Pg 268] and the grey turrets flanking the huge building; there were the fountains, the marble causeways, the smooth basins, the tall box hedges, the water-lilies and the swans, just as of old. But there was something else there, too—something in the air, in the water, and in the greenness that I did not recognise—a light over everything by which everything was transfigured. The clock in the tower struck seven, and the strokes of the ancient bell sounded like a wedding chime. The air sang with the thrilling treble of the song-birds, with the silvery music of the plashing water, and the softer harmony of the leaves stirred by the fresh morning wind. There was a smell of new-mown hay from the distant meadows, and of blooming roses from the beds below, wafted up together to my window. I stood in the pure sunshine and drank the air and all the sounds and the odours that were in it; and I looked down at my garden and said, "It is Paradise, after all. I think the men of old were right when they called heaven a garden, and Eden a garden inhabited by one man and one woman, the Earthly Paradise."
Whether the change was because of the orders I left with the gardener and the other staff, or because of my own mindset, I can't say. Regardless, the old place didn't look the same to me when I opened my window the morning after I arrived. Below me were the grey walls and the grey turrets beside the large building; there were the fountains, the marble paths, the smooth ponds, the tall box hedges, the water lilies, and the swans, just like before. But there was something else, too—something in the air, in the water, and in the greenery that I didn't recognize—a light over everything that transformed it all. The clock in the tower struck seven, and the sound of the old bell rang out like a wedding bell. The air was filled with the beautiful songs of the birds, the soothing music of the splashing water, and the gentle rustle of the leaves stirred by the fresh morning breeze. I could smell the freshly cut hay from the distant fields and blooming roses from the beds below, all wafting up to my window. I stood in the bright sunshine and absorbed the air, the sounds, and the scents around me; I looked down at my garden and thought, "It really is Paradise, after all. I think the ancients were right when they called heaven a garden, and Eden a garden inhabited by one man and one woman, the Earthly Paradise."
I turned away, wondering what had become of the gloomy memories I had always associated with my home. I tried to recall the impression of my nurse's horrible prophecy before the death of my parents—an impression which hitherto[Pg 269] had been vivid enough. I tried to remember my own self, my dejection, my listlessness, my bad luck, and my petty disappointments. I endeavoured to force myself to think as I used to think, if only to satisfy myself that I had not lost my individuality. But I succeeded in none of these efforts. I was a different man, a changed being, incapable of sorrow, of ill-luck, or of sadness. My life had been a dream, not evil, but infinitely gloomy and hopeless. It was now a reality, full of hope, gladness, and all manner of good. My home had been like a tomb; to-day it was Paradise. My heart had been as though it had not existed; to-day it beat with strength and youth, and the certainty of realised happiness. I revelled in the beauty of the world, and called loveliness out of the future to enjoy it before time should bring it to me, as a traveller in the plains looks up to the mountains, and already tastes the cool air through the dust of the road.
I turned away, wondering what had happened to the dark memories I had always associated with my home. I tried to remember the impact of my nurse's terrible prediction before my parents died—an impression that had always been strong enough. I attempted to recall my own feelings, my sadness, my lack of energy, my bad luck, and my minor disappointments. I tried to force myself to think like I used to, just to reassure myself that I hadn’t lost who I was. But I didn’t succeed in any of these attempts. I was a different person, changed, incapable of sorrow, bad luck, or sadness. My life had been a dream, not bad, but incredibly dark and hopeless. Now, it was a reality, full of hope, joy, and all kinds of good things. My home had felt like a tomb; today it felt like Paradise. My heart felt as if it didn’t exist; today it beat with strength and youth, and the certainty of achieved happiness. I reveled in the beauty of the world and called forth loveliness from the future to enjoy it before it arrived, like a traveler in the plains looking up at the mountains and already tasting the cool air through the dust of the road.
Here, I thought, we will live and live for years. There we will sit by the fountain towards evening and in the deep moonlight. Down those paths we will wander together. On those benches we will rest and talk. Among those eastern hills we will ride through the soft twilight, and in the old house we will tell tales on winter[Pg 270] nights, when the logs burn high, and the holly berries are red, and the old clock tolls out the dying year. On these old steps, in these dark passages and stately rooms, there will one day be the sound of little pattering feet, and laughing child-voices will ring up to the vaults of the ancient hall. Those tiny footsteps shall not be slow and sad as mine were, nor shall the childish words be spoken in an awed whisper. No gloomy Welshwoman shall people the dusky corners with weird horrors, nor utter horrid prophecies of death and ghastly things. All shall be young, and fresh, and joyful, and happy, and we will turn the old luck again, and forget that there was ever any sadness.
Here, I thought, we will live and thrive for years. We’ll sit by the fountain in the evenings and under the bright moonlight. We’ll wander down those paths together. On those benches, we’ll relax and chat. We’ll ride through those eastern hills in the soft twilight, and in the old house, we’ll share stories on winter nights when the fire blazes high, the holly berries are bright red, and the old clock chimes the end of the year. On these old steps, in these dark hallways and grand rooms, one day there will be the sound of little feet running around, and the voices of children will echo up to the ceilings of the ancient hall. Those tiny footsteps won’t be slow and sad like mine were, and the children’s words won’t be spoken in hushed tones. No gloomy Welshwoman will fill the dark corners with strange terrors or make dreadful predictions of death and scary things. Everything will be young, fresh, joyful, and happy, and we’ll turn our luck around, forgetting that there was ever any sadness.
So I thought, as I looked out of my window that morning and for many mornings after that, and every day it all seemed more real than ever before, and much nearer. But the old nurse looked at me askance, and muttered odd sayings about the Woman of the Water. I cared little what she said, for I was far too happy.
So I thought, as I looked out of my window that morning and for many mornings afterwards, and every day it all felt more real than ever before, and much closer. But the old nurse stared at me sideways and muttered strange things about the Woman of the Water. I didn't care much about what she said because I was way too happy.
At last the time came near for the wedding. Lady Bluebell and all the tribe of Bluebells, as Margaret called them, were at Bluebell Grange, for we had determined to be married in the country, and to come straight to the Castle afterwards. We cared little for travelling, and[Pg 271] not at all for a crowded ceremony at St. George's in Hanover Square, with all the tiresome formalities afterwards. I used to ride over to the Grange every day, and very often Margaret would come with her aunt and some of her cousins to the Castle. I was suspicious of my own taste, and was only too glad to let her have her way about the alterations and improvements in our home.
At last, the wedding day was approaching. Lady Bluebell and all the Bluebell family, as Margaret referred to them, were at Bluebell Grange, since we had decided to get married in the countryside and go straight to the Castle afterward. We didn’t care much for traveling and didn’t want a crowded ceremony at St. George's in Hanover Square, with all the annoying formalities afterward. I would ride over to the Grange every day, and quite often Margaret would come with her aunt and some of her cousins to the Castle. I was unsure about my own taste and was more than happy to let her lead the way with the changes and upgrades in our home.
We were to be married on the thirtieth of July, and on the evening of the twenty-eighth Margaret drove over with some of the Bluebell party. In the long summer twilight we all went out into the garden. Naturally enough, Margaret and I were left to ourselves, and we wandered down by the marble basins.
We were set to get married on July 30th, and on the evening of the 28th, Margaret came over with some friends from the Bluebell group. In the warm summer twilight, we all went outside to the garden. Naturally, Margaret and I ended up alone, and we strolled down by the marble basins.
"It is an odd coincidence," I said; "it was on this very night last year that I first saw you."
"It’s a strange coincidence," I said; "it was on this exact night last year that I first saw you."
"Considering that it is the month of July," answered Margaret, with a laugh, "and that we have been here almost every day, I don't think the coincidence is so extraordinary, after all."
"Since it’s July," Margaret replied with a laugh, "and we've been here almost every day, I don’t think the coincidence is that remarkable, after all."
"No, dear," said I, "I suppose not. I don't know why it struck me. We shall very likely be here a year from to-day, and a year from that. The odd thing, when I think of it, is that you should be here at all. But my luck has turned. I ought not to think anything odd that happens now that I have you. It is all sure to be good."
"No, sweetheart," I said, "I guess not. I’m not sure why it came to mind. We'll probably be here a year from today, and another year after that. The strange thing, when I think about it, is that you should even be here. But my luck has changed. I shouldn't think anything is odd now that I have you. Everything is bound to be good."
"A slight change in your ideas since that remarkable performance of yours in Paris," said Margaret. "Do you know, I thought you were the most extraordinary man I had ever met."
"A small shift in your thoughts since that incredible performance of yours in Paris," said Margaret. "You know, I really thought you were the most amazing man I had ever met."
"I thought you were the most charming woman I have ever seen. I naturally did not want to lose any time in frivolities. I took you at your word, I followed your advice, I asked you to marry me, and this is the delightful result—what's the matter?"
"I thought you were the most charming woman I’ve ever seen. I didn’t want to waste any time on nonsense. I took you at your word, followed your advice, asked you to marry me, and this is the wonderful outcome—what’s wrong?"
Margaret had started suddenly, and her hand tightened on my arm. An old woman was coming up the path, and was close to us before we saw her, for the moon had risen, and was shining full in our faces. The woman turned out to be my old nurse.
Margaret jumped suddenly, and her grip on my arm tightened. An elderly woman was walking up the path, and we didn’t notice her until she was almost upon us, as the moon had risen and was shining directly in our faces. It turned out to be my old nurse.
"It's only old Judith, dear—don't be frightened," I said. Then I spoke to the Welshwoman: "What are you about, Judith? Have you been feeding the Woman of the Water?"
"It's just old Judith, dear—don't be scared," I said. Then I turned to the Welshwoman: "What are you doing, Judith? Have you been giving food to the Woman of the Water?"
"Ay—when the clock strikes, Willie—my lord, I mean," muttered the old creature, drawing aside to let us pass, and fixing her strange eyes on Margaret's face.
"Ay—when the clock strikes, Willie—my lord, I mean," muttered the old woman, stepping aside to let us pass and staring at Margaret's face with her unusual eyes.
"What does she mean?" asked Margaret, when we had gone by.
"What does she mean?" Margaret asked as we walked past.
"Nothing, darling. The old thing is mildly crazy, but she is a good soul."
"Nothing, sweetheart. The old woman is a bit eccentric, but she has a good heart."
We went on in silence for a few moments, and came to the rustic bridge just above the artificial grotto through which the water ran out into the park, dark and swift in its narrow channel. We stopped, and leaned on the wooden rail. The moon was now behind us, and shone full upon the long vista of basins and on the huge walls and towers of the Castle above.
We walked in silence for a few moments and reached the rustic bridge just above the artificial grotto where the water flowed out into the park, dark and fast in its narrow channel. We stopped and leaned on the wooden railing. The moon was now behind us, shining brightly on the long line of basins and on the large walls and towers of the Castle above.
"How proud you ought to be of such a grand old place!" said Margaret, softly.
"How proud you should be of such a great old place!" Margaret said softly.
"It is yours now, darling," I answered. "You have as good a right to love it as I—but I only love it because you are to live in it, dear."
"It’s yours now, darling," I replied. "You have just as much right to love it as I do—but I only love it because you’re going to live in it, dear."
Her hand stole out and lay on mine, and we were both silent. Just then the clock began to strike far off in the tower. I counted the strokes—eight—nine—ten—eleven—I looked at my watch—twelve—thirteen—I laughed. The bell went on striking.
Her hand reached out and rested on mine, and we stayed quiet. At that moment, the clock started to chime in the tower. I counted the chimes—eight—nine—ten—eleven—I glanced at my watch—twelve—thirteen—I laughed. The bell continued to chime.
"The old clock has gone crazy, like Judith," I exclaimed. Still it went on, note after note ringing out monotonously through the still air. We leaned over the rail, instinctively looking in the direction whence the sound came. On and on it went. I counted nearly a hundred, out of sheer curiosity, for I understood that something had broken and that the thing was running itself down.
"The old clock has gone nuts, just like Judith," I said. Still, it kept going, note after note echoing monotonously through the quiet air. We leaned over the railing, instinctively looking in the direction the sound was coming from. It just kept going. I counted nearly a hundred out of pure curiosity, because I realized that something had broken and the clock was winding itself down.
Suddenly there was a crack as of breaking wood,[Pg 274] a cry and a heavy splash, and I was alone, clinging to the broken end of the rail of the rustic bridge.
Suddenly, there was a crack like breaking wood,[Pg 274], a shout, and a loud splash, and I found myself alone, hanging on to the broken end of the railing of the rustic bridge.
I do not think I hesitated while my pulse beat twice. I sprang clear of the bridge into the black rushing water, dived to the bottom, came up again with empty hands, turned and swam downwards through the grotto in the thick darkness, plunging and diving at every stroke, striking my head and hands against jagged stones and sharp corners, clutching at last something in my fingers, and dragging it up with all my might. I spoke, I cried aloud, but there was no answer. I was alone in the pitchy blackness with my burden, and the house was five hundred yards away. Struggling still, I felt the ground beneath my feet, I saw a ray of moonlight—the grotto widened, and the deep water became a broad and shallow brook as I stumbled over the stones and at last laid Margaret's body on the bank in the park beyond.
I don't think I hesitated for even a moment while my heart raced. I jumped off the bridge into the dark, rushing water, dove to the bottom, came up empty-handed, turned, and swam down through the grotto in the thick darkness, plunging and diving with every stroke, hitting my head and hands against jagged stones and sharp edges, finally grabbing something with my fingers and pulling it up with all my strength. I called out, but there was no reply. I was alone in the pitch-blackness with my load, and the house was five hundred yards away. Still struggling, I felt the ground under my feet and saw a beam of moonlight—the grotto opened up, and the deep water turned into a wide, shallow stream as I stumbled over the stones and finally laid Margaret's body on the bank in the park beyond.
"Ay, Willie, as the clock struck!" said the voice of Judith, the Welsh nurse, as she bent down and looked at the white face. The old woman must have turned back and followed us, seen the accident, and slipped out by the lower gate of the garden. "Ay," she groaned, "you have fed the Woman of the Water this night, Willie, while the clock was striking."
"Ay, Willie, as the clock struck!" said Judith, the Welsh nurse, as she leaned down to look at the pale face. The old woman must have turned around and followed us, seen the accident, and slipped out through the lower gate of the garden. "Ay," she moaned, "you've fed the Woman of the Water tonight, Willie, while the clock was striking."
I scarcely heard her as I knelt beside the lifeless[Pg 275] body of the woman I loved, chafing the wet white temples, and gazing wildly into the wide-staring eyes. I remember only the first returning look of consciousness, the first heaving breath, the first movement of those dear hands stretching out towards me.
I could barely hear her as I knelt beside the lifeless[Pg 275] body of the woman I loved, rubbing her wet white temples and gazing frantically into her wide-open eyes. I only remember the first sign of returning consciousness, the first breath she took, and the first movement of those beloved hands reaching out to me.
That is not much of a story, you say. It is the story of my life. That is all. It does not pretend to be anything else. Old Judith says my luck turned on that summer's night, when I was struggling in the water to save all that was worth living for. A month later there was a stone bridge above the grotto, and Margaret and I stood on it, and looked up at the moonlit Castle, as we had done once before, and as we have done many times since. For all those things happened ten years ago last summer, and this is the tenth Christmas Eve we have spent together by the roaring logs in the old hall, talking of old times; and every year there are more old times to talk of. There are curly-headed boys, too, with red-gold hair and dark-brown eyes like their mother's, and a little Margaret, with solemn black eyes like mine. Why could she not look like her mother, too, as well as the rest of them?
That’s not much of a story, you say. It’s the story of my life. That’s all. It doesn’t claim to be anything else. Old Judith says my luck changed that summer night when I was fighting in the water to save everything worth living for. A month later, there was a stone bridge above the grotto, and Margaret and I stood on it, looking up at the moonlit Castle like we had done before, and as we have done many times since. All of that happened ten years ago last summer, and this is the tenth Christmas Eve we’ve spent together by the roaring logs in the old hall, reminiscing about the past; and every year there are more memories to talk about. There are curly-haired boys, too, with red-gold hair and dark brown eyes like their mother's, and a little Margaret with solemn black eyes like mine. Why couldn’t she look like her mother too, just like the rest of them?
The world is very bright at this glorious Christmas time, and perhaps there is little use in calling[Pg 276] up the sadness of long ago, unless it be to make the jolly firelight seem more cheerful, the good wife's face look gladder, and to give the children's laughter a merrier ring, by contrast with all that is gone. Perhaps, too, some sad-faced, listless, melancholy youth, who feels that the world is very hollow, and that life is like a perpetual funeral service, just as I used to feel myself, may take courage from my example, and having found the woman of his heart, ask her to marry him after half an hour's acquaintance. But, on the whole, I would not advise any man to marry, for the simple reason that no man will ever find a wife like mine, and being obliged to go further, he will necessarily fare worse. My wife has done miracles, but I will not assert that any other woman is able to follow her example.
The world is really bright during this wonderful Christmas season, and maybe it’s not worth bringing up the sadness of the past, unless it makes the cozy firelight seem more cheerful, makes the good wife’s face look happier, and gives the kids’ laughter a brighter sound by contrasting it with what’s gone. Maybe, too, some sad, listless, melancholic young person, who feels that life is very empty and like a never-ending funeral service, just like I used to feel, might get inspired by my example, and after knowing the woman of his dreams for just half an hour, ask her to marry him. But overall, I wouldn’t recommend any man to get married, simply because no man will ever find a wife like mine, and having to look elsewhere, he will naturally end up worse off. My wife has done amazing things, but I won’t claim that any other woman can match her.
Margaret always said that the old place was beautiful, and that I ought to be proud of it. I dare say she is right. She has even more imagination than I. But I have a good answer and a plain one, which is this—that all the beauty of the Castle comes from her. She has breathed upon it all, as the children blow upon the cold glass window-panes in winter; and as their warm breath crystallises into landscapes from fairyland, full of exquisite shapes and traceries upon the blank surface, so her spirit has transformed every grey stone[Pg 277] of the old towers, every ancient tree and hedge in the gardens, every thought in my once melancholy self. All that was old is young, and all that was sad is glad, and I am the gladdest of all. Whatever heaven may be, there is no earthly paradise without woman, nor is there anywhere a place so desolate, so dreary, so unutterably miserable that a woman cannot make it seem heaven to the man she loves, and who loves her.
Margaret always said that the old place was beautiful and that I should be proud of it. I suppose she’s right. She has even more imagination than I do. But I have a simple and honest answer: all the beauty of the Castle comes from her. She has touched it all, like children blowing on cold glass windowpanes in winter; and just as their warm breath turns into magical landscapes on the blank surface, her spirit has transformed every grey stone[Pg 277] of the old towers, every ancient tree and hedge in the gardens, and every thought in my once sad self. Everything that was old is now young, and everything that was sad is now joyful, and I am the happiest of all. Whatever heaven may be, there’s no earthly paradise without a woman, nor is there anywhere so desolate, so dreary, so utterly miserable that a woman can't make it feel like heaven to the man she loves and who loves her.
I hear certain cynics laugh, and cry that all that has been said before. Do not laugh, my good cynic. You are too small a man to laugh at such a great thing as love. Prayers have been said before now by many, and perhaps you say yours, too. I do not think they lose anything by being repeated, nor you by repeating them. You say that the world is bitter, and full of the Waters of Bitterness. Love, and so live that you may be loved—the world will turn sweet for you, and you shall rest like me by the Waters of Paradise.
I hear some cynics laughing, claiming that everything has been said before. Don't laugh, my good cynic. You're too small-minded to laugh at something as significant as love. Many have prayed before, and maybe you do too. I don’t think those prayers lose their value by being repeated, nor do you by repeating them. You say the world is harsh and filled with bitterness. Love, and live in a way that invites love back to you—the world will become sweeter for you, and you’ll find peace like I do by the Waters of Paradise.
THE DOLL'S GHOST
THE DOLL'S GHOST
THE DOLL'S GHOST
It was a terrible accident, and for one moment the splendid machinery of Cranston House got out of gear and stood still. The butler emerged from the retirement in which he spent his elegant leisure, two grooms of the chambers appeared simultaneously from opposite directions, there were actually housemaids on the grand staircase, and those who remember the facts most exactly assert that Mrs. Pringle herself positively stood upon the landing. Mrs. Pringle was the housekeeper. As for the head nurse, the under nurse, and the nursery maid, their feelings cannot be described. The head nurse laid one hand upon the polished marble balustrade and stared stupidly before her, the under nurse stood rigid and pale, leaning against the polished marble wall, and the nursery-maid collapsed and sat down upon the polished marble step, just beyond the limits of the velvet carpet, and frankly burst into tears.
It was a terrible accident, and for a brief moment, the impressive machinery of Cranston House came to a halt. The butler stepped out from his elegant retreat, two grooms of the chambers appeared simultaneously from opposite directions, there were even housemaids on the grand staircase, and those who remember the details most clearly claim that Mrs. Pringle herself was actually standing on the landing. Mrs. Pringle was the housekeeper. As for the head nurse, the under nurse, and the nursery maid, their emotions were beyond words. The head nurse placed one hand on the polished marble balustrade and stared blankly ahead, the under nurse stood stiff and pale, leaning against the polished marble wall, and the nursery maid collapsed onto the polished marble step, just outside the velvet carpet, and openly burst into tears.
The Lady Gwendolen Lancaster-Douglas-Scroop, youngest daughter of the ninth Duke of Cranston, and aged six years and three months, picked herself up quite alone, and sat down on the third step[Pg 282] from the foot of the grand staircase in Cranston House.
The Lady Gwendolen Lancaster-Douglas-Scroop, the youngest daughter of the ninth Duke of Cranston and six years and three months old, got up all by herself and sat down on the third step[Pg 282] from the bottom of the grand staircase in Cranston House.
"Oh!" ejaculated the butler, and he disappeared again.
"Oh!" exclaimed the butler, and he vanished once more.
"Ah!" responded the grooms of the chambers, as they also went away.
"Ah!" replied the attendants, as they also left.
"It's only that doll," Mrs. Pringle was distinctly heard to say, in a tone of contempt.
"It's just that doll," Mrs. Pringle was clearly heard to say, with a tone of disdain.
The under nurse heard her say it. Then the three nurses gathered round Lady Gwendolen and patted her, and gave her unhealthy things out of their pockets, and hurried her out of Cranston House as fast as they could, lest it should be found out upstairs that they had allowed the Lady Gwendolen Lancaster-Douglas-Scroop to tumble down the grand staircase with her doll in her arms. And as the doll was badly broken, the nursery-maid carried it, with the pieces, wrapped up in Lady Gwendolen's little cloak. It was not far to Hyde Park, and when they had reached a quiet place they took means to find out that Lady Gwendolen had no bruises. For the carpet was very thick and soft, and there was thick stuff under it to make it softer.
The under nurse heard her say it. Then the three nurses gathered around Lady Gwendolen, patted her, and gave her some junk food from their pockets, hurrying her out of Cranston House as quickly as they could, so that no one upstairs would discover they had let Lady Gwendolen Lancaster-Douglas-Scroop fall down the grand staircase with her doll. Since the doll was badly broken, the nursery maid carried it, along with the pieces, wrapped up in Lady Gwendolen's little cloak. It wasn’t far to Hyde Park, and when they reached a quiet spot, they checked to make sure Lady Gwendolen had no bruises. The carpet was really thick and soft, and there was extra padding underneath to make it even softer.
Lady Gwendolen Douglas-Scroop sometimes yelled, but she never cried. It was because she had yelled that the nurse had allowed her to go downstairs alone with Nina, the doll, under one[Pg 283] arm, while she steadied herself with her other hand on the balustrade, and trod upon the polished marble steps beyond the edge of the carpet. So she had fallen, and Nina had come to grief.
Lady Gwendolen Douglas-Scroop sometimes shouted, but she never cried. It was because she had shouted that the nurse had let her go downstairs alone with Nina, the doll, under one[Pg 283] arm, while she steadied herself with her other hand on the railing and walked on the polished marble steps beyond the edge of the carpet. So she had fallen, and Nina had gotten damaged.
When the nurses were quite sure that she was not hurt, they unwrapped the doll and looked at her in her turn. She had been a very beautiful doll, very large, and fair, and healthy, with real yellow hair, and eyelids that would open and shut over very grown-up dark eyes. Moreover, when you moved her right arm up and down she said "Pa-pa," and when you moved the left she said "Ma-ma," very distinctly.
When the nurses were sure that she wasn’t hurt, they unwrapped the doll and took a look at her too. She had been a very beautiful doll, large, fair, and healthy, with real blonde hair and eyelids that opened and closed over very mature dark eyes. Plus, when you moved her right arm up and down, she said "Pa-pa," and when you moved the left, she said "Ma-ma," very clearly.
"I heard her say 'Pa' when she fell," said the under nurse, who heard everything. "But she ought to have said 'Pa-pa.'"
"I heard her say 'Pa' when she fell," said the assistant nurse, who overheard everything. "But she should have said 'Pa-pa.'"
"That's because her arm went up when she hit the step," said the head nurse. "She'll say the other 'Pa' when I put it down again."
"That's because her arm went up when she stepped," said the head nurse. "She'll say the other 'Pa' when I lower it again."
"Pa," said Nina, as her right arm was pushed down, and speaking through her broken face. It was cracked right across, from the upper corner of the forehead, with a hideous gash, through the nose and down to the little frilled collar of the pale green silk Mother Hubbard frock, and two little three-cornered pieces of porcelain had fallen out.
"Pa," Nina said, as her right arm was pushed down, speaking through her injured face. It was cracked right across, from the upper corner of her forehead, with a horrific gash, through her nose and down to the frilled collar of her pale green silk Mother Hubbard dress, and two small triangular pieces of porcelain had fallen out.
"I'm sure it's a wonder she can speak at all, being all smashed," said the under nurse.
"I'm surprised she can even talk, being so out of it," said the under nurse.
"You'll have to take her to Mr. Puckler," said her superior. "It's not far, and you'd better go at once."
"You need to take her to Mr. Puckler," her boss said. "It's not far, so you should go right away."
Lady Gwendolen was occupied in digging a hole in the ground with a little spade, and paid no attention to the nurses.
Lady Gwendolen was busy digging a hole in the ground with a small spade and ignored the nurses.
"What are you doing?" enquired the nursery-maid, looking on.
"What are you doing?" asked the nursery maid, watching.
"Nina's dead, and I'm diggin' her a grave," replied her ladyship thoughtfully.
"Nina's dead, and I'm digging her a grave," her ladyship replied, deep in thought.
"Oh, she'll come to life again all right," said the nursery-maid.
"Oh, she'll definitely come to life again," said the nursery-maid.
The under nurse wrapped Nina up again and departed. Fortunately a kind soldier, with very long legs and a very small cap, happened to be there; and as he had nothing to do, he offered to see the under nurse safely to Mr. Puckler's and back.
The nurse wrapped Nina up again and left. Luckily, a kind soldier, who had really long legs and a tiny cap, happened to be there; and since he had nothing to do, he offered to take the nurse safely to Mr. Puckler's and back.
Mr. Bernard Puckler and his little daughter lived in a little house in a little alley, which led out off a quiet little street not very far from Belgrave Square. He was the great doll doctor, and his extensive practice lay in the most aristocratic quarter. He mended dolls of all sizes and ages, boy dolls and girl dolls, baby dolls in long clothes, and grown-up dolls in fashionable gowns, talking dolls and dumb dolls, those[Pg 285] that shut their eyes when they lay down, and those whose eyes had to be shut for them by means of a mysterious wire. His daughter Else was only just over twelve years old, but she was already very clever at mending dolls' clothes, and at doing their hair, which is harder than you might think, though the dolls sit quite still while it is being done.
Mr. Bernard Puckler and his young daughter lived in a small house on a narrow alley that led off a quiet street near Belgrave Square. He was a well-known doll doctor, and his broad clientele came from the most upscale neighborhood. He repaired dolls of all kinds and ages—boy dolls, girl dolls, baby dolls in long outfits, and adult dolls in trendy dresses, talking dolls and quiet ones, those that closed their eyes when laid down, and those whose eyes had to be shut with a special wire. His daughter, Else, was just over twelve years old but was already quite skilled at fixing dolls' clothing and styling their hair, which is trickier than you might imagine, even though the dolls sit perfectly still while it’s being done.
Mr. Puckler had originally been a German, but he had dissolved his nationality in the ocean of London many years ago, like a great many foreigners. He still had one or two German friends, however, who came on Saturday evenings, and smoked with him and played picquet or "skat" with him for farthing points, and called him "Herr Doctor," which seemed to please Mr. Puckler very much.
Mr. Puckler had originally been German, but he had let go of his nationality in the vastness of London many years ago, just like many other foreigners. He still had a few German friends, though, who visited on Saturday evenings to smoke, play picquet or "skat" for small stakes, and referred to him as "Herr Doctor," which seemed to make Mr. Puckler quite happy.
He looked older than he was, for his beard was rather long and ragged, his hair was grizzled and thin, and he wore horn-rimmed spectacles. As for Else, she was a thin, pale child, very quiet and neat, with dark eyes and brown hair that was plaited down her back and tied with a bit of black ribbon. She mended the dolls' clothes and took the dolls back to their homes when they were quite strong again.
He looked older than his age, with a long, unkempt beard, graying and thinning hair, and horn-rimmed glasses. As for Else, she was a slender, pale child, very quiet and tidy, with dark eyes and brown hair that she braided down her back and tied with a piece of black ribbon. She repaired the dolls' clothes and returned the dolls to their homes once they were strong enough again.
The house was a little one, but too big for the two people who lived in it. There was a[Pg 286] small sitting-room on the street, and the workshop was at the back, and there were three rooms upstairs. But the father and daughter lived most of their time in the workshop, because they were generally at work, even in the evenings.
The house was small, but it was still too big for the two people who lived there. There was a[Pg 286] small sitting room facing the street, the workshop was at the back, and there were three rooms upstairs. But the father and daughter spent most of their time in the workshop, as they were usually working, even in the evenings.
Mr. Puckler laid Nina on the table and looked at her a long time, till the tears began to fill his eyes behind the horn-rimmed spectacles. He was a very susceptible man, and he often fell in love with the dolls he mended, and found it hard to part with them when they had smiled at him for a few days. They were real little people to him, with characters and thoughts and feelings of their own, and he was very tender with them all. But some attracted him especially from the first, and when they were brought to him maimed and injured, their state seemed so pitiful to him that the tears came easily. You must remember that he had lived among dolls during a great part of his life, and understood them.
Mr. Puckler laid Nina on the table and stared at her for a long time until tears filled his eyes behind his horn-rimmed glasses. He was a very sensitive man, often falling in love with the dolls he repaired, and he found it hard to let them go after they had smiled at him for a few days. To him, they were real little beings, with their own personalities, thoughts, and feelings, and he was very gentle with all of them. Some, however, captivated him more than others right from the start, and when they were brought to him damaged and hurt, their condition seemed so heartbreaking that the tears flowed easily. You have to remember that he had spent a significant part of his life among dolls and understood them well.
"How do you know that they feel nothing?" he went on to say to Else. "You must be gentle with them. It costs nothing to be kind to the little beings, and perhaps it makes a difference to them."
"How do you know they feel nothing?" he continued to say to Else. "You need to be gentle with them. It doesn't cost anything to be kind to the little beings, and maybe it actually makes a difference to them."
And Else understood him, because she was a child, and she knew that she was more to him than all the dolls.
And Else understood him, because she was a kid, and she knew that she meant more to him than all the dolls.
He fell in love with Nina at first sight, perhaps because her beautiful brown glass eyes were something like Else's own, and he loved Else first and best, with all his heart. And, besides, it was a very sorrowful case. Nina had evidently not been long in the world, for her complexion was perfect, her hair was smooth where it should be smooth, and curly where it should be curly, and her silk clothes were perfectly new. But across her face was that frightful gash, like a sabre-cut, deep and shadowy within, but clean and sharp at the edges. When he tenderly pressed her head to close the gaping wound, the edges made a fine grating sound, that was painful to hear, and the lids of the dark eyes quivered and trembled as though Nina were suffering dreadfully.
He fell in love with Nina at first sight, maybe because her beautiful brown glass eyes reminded him of Else's, and he loved Else first and foremost, with all his heart. Plus, it was a really sad situation. Nina clearly hadn’t been around for long since her complexion was flawless, her hair was smooth where it should be smooth and curly where it should be curly, and her silk clothes were brand new. But across her face was that terrible gash, like a sword cut, deep and shadowy inside but clean and sharp at the edges. When he gently pressed her head to close the gaping wound, the edges made a painful grating sound, and the lids of her dark eyes quivered and shook as if Nina were in terrible pain.
"Poor Nina!" he exclaimed sorrowfully. "But I shall not hurt you much, though you will take a long time to get strong."
"Poor Nina!" he said sadly. "But I won't hurt you too badly, even though it's going to take a while for you to feel better."
He always asked the names of the broken dolls when they were brought to him, and sometimes the people knew what the children called them, and told him. He liked "Nina" for a name. Altogether and in every way she pleased him more than any doll he had seen for many years, and he felt drawn to her, and made up his mind to make her perfectly strong and sound, no matter how much labour it might cost him.
He always asked for the names of the broken dolls when they were brought to him, and sometimes people knew what the children named them and would tell him. He liked "Nina" as a name. Overall, she impressed him more than any doll he had seen in many years, and he felt a connection to her. He decided to restore her completely, no matter how much effort it would take.
Mr. Puckler worked patiently a little at a time, and Else watched him. She could do nothing for poor Nina, whose clothes needed no mending. The longer the doll doctor worked, the more fond he became of the yellow hair and the beautiful brown glass eyes. He sometimes forgot all the other dolls that were waiting to be mended, lying side by side on a shelf, and sat for an hour gazing at Nina's face, while he racked his ingenuity for some new invention by which to hide even the smallest trace of the terrible accident.
Mr. Puckler worked patiently, little by little, while Else watched him. She couldn’t do anything for poor Nina, whose clothes didn’t need any fixing. The longer the doll doctor worked, the more attached he grew to the yellow hair and the beautiful brown glass eyes. He sometimes lost track of all the other dolls waiting to be repaired, lined up on a shelf, and spent an hour staring at Nina’s face, trying to come up with some new idea to hide even the slightest sign of the terrible accident.
She was wonderfully mended. Even he was obliged to admit that; but the scar was still visible to his keen eyes, a very fine line right across the face, downwards from right to left. Yet all the conditions had been most favourable for a cure, since the cement had set quite hard at the first attempt and the weather had been fine and dry, which makes a great difference in a dolls' hospital.
She was wonderfully healed. Even he had to admit that; but the scar was still noticeable to his sharp eyes, a very fine line running across her face, from right to left. Still, all the conditions had been ideal for a recovery, since the bond had set firmly on the first try and the weather had been nice and dry, which makes a big difference in a doll hospital.
At last he knew that he could do no more, and the under nurse had already come twice to see whether the job was finished, as she coarsely expressed it.
At last, he realized that he couldn't do anything else, and the assistant nurse had already come by twice to see if the job was done, as she bluntly put it.
"Nina is not quite strong yet," Mr. Puckler had answered each time, for he could not make up his mind to face the parting.
"Nina isn't strong enough yet," Mr. Puckler had replied every time, because he couldn't bring himself to face the separation.
And now he sat before the square deal table at which he worked, and Nina lay before him for the[Pg 289] last time with a big brown paper box beside her. It stood there like her coffin, waiting for her, he thought. He must put her into it, and lay tissue paper over her dear face, and then put on the lid, and at the thought of tying the string his sight was dim with tears again. He was never to look into the glassy depths of the beautiful brown eyes any more, nor to hear the little wooden voice say "Pa-pa" and "Ma-ma." It was a very painful moment.
And now he sat in front of the square table where he worked, and Nina lay before him for the[Pg 289] last time with a big brown paper box next to her. It looked like her coffin, waiting for her, he thought. He had to place her inside it, cover her dear face with tissue paper, and then put on the lid, and the thought of tying the string made his vision blur with tears again. He would never again look into the beautiful brown depths of her eyes or hear her little voice say "Pa-pa" and "Ma-ma." It was a very painful moment.
In the vain hope of gaining time before the separation, he took up the little sticky bottles of cement and glue and gum and colour, looking at each one in turn, and then at Nina's face. And all his small tools lay there, neatly arranged in a row, but he knew that he could not use them again for Nina. She was quite strong at last, and in a country where there should be no cruel children to hurt her she might live a hundred years, with only that almost imperceptible line across her face to tell of the fearful thing that had befallen her on the marble steps of Cranston House.
In a desperate attempt to buy some time before the separation, he picked up the little sticky bottles of cement, glue, gum, and paint, examining each one and then looking at Nina's face. All his small tools were neatly arranged in a row, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to use them for Nina anymore. She was finally quite strong, and in a place without cruel kids to hurt her, she could live for a hundred years, with just that barely noticeable line across her face as a reminder of the terrible incident that had happened on the marble steps of Cranston House.
Suddenly Mr. Puckler's heart was quite full, and he rose abruptly from his seat and turned away.
Suddenly, Mr. Puckler felt overwhelmed with emotion, and he got up quickly from his seat and turned away.
"Else," he said unsteadily, "you must do it for me. I cannot bear to see her go into the box."
"Else," he said unsteadily, "you have to do it for me. I can't stand to watch her go into the box."
So he went and stood at the window with his[Pg 290] back turned, while Else did what he had not the heart to do.
So he went and stood at the window with his[Pg 290] back turned, while Else did what he couldn't bring himself to do.
"Is it done?" he asked, not turning round. "Then take her away, my dear. Put on your hat, and take her to Cranston House quickly, and when you are gone I will turn round."
"Is it done?" he asked, not turning around. "Then take her away, my dear. Put on your hat and take her to Cranston House quickly, and when you’ve left, I will turn around."
Else was used to her father's queer ways with the dolls, and though she had never seen him so much moved by a parting, she was not much surprised.
Else was used to her father's strange behavior with the dolls, and even though she had never seen him so affected by a goodbye, she wasn't too surprised.
"Come back quickly," he said, when he heard her hand on the latch. "It is growing late, and I should not send you at this hour. But I cannot bear to look forward to it any more."
"Come back quickly," he said when he heard her hand on the latch. "It's getting late, and I really shouldn't send you out at this hour. But I can't stand the thought of it any longer."
When Else was gone, he left the window and sat down in his place before the table again, to wait for the child to come back. He touched the place where Nina had lain, very gently, and he recalled the softly tinted pink face, and the glass eyes, and the ringlets of yellow hair, till he could almost see them.
When Else was gone, he left the window and sat back down at the table, waiting for the child to return. He gently touched the spot where Nina had been, remembering her softly tinted pink face, her glassy eyes, and her curly yellow hair, so vividly that he could almost see them.
The evenings were long, for it was late in the spring. But it began to grow dark soon, and Mr. Puckler wondered why Else did not come back. She had been gone an hour and a half, and that was much longer than he had expected, for it was barely half a mile from Belgrave Square to Cranston House. He reflected that the child[Pg 291] might have been kept waiting, but as the twilight deepened he grew anxious, and walked up and down in the dim workshop, no longer thinking of Nina, but of Else, his own living child, whom he loved.
The evenings were long because it was late spring. But it started to get dark quickly, and Mr. Puckler wondered why Else hadn’t come back. She had been gone for an hour and a half, which was much longer than he expected, considering it was barely half a mile from Belgrave Square to Cranston House. He thought that the child[Pg 291] might have been kept waiting, but as the twilight deepened, he became anxious and paced in the dim workshop, no longer thinking of Nina, but of Else, his own living child, whom he loved.
An undefinable, disquieting sensation came upon him by fine degrees, a chilliness and a faint stirring of his thin hair, joined with a wish to be in any company rather than to be alone much longer. It was the beginning of fear.
An indescribable, unsettling feeling crept up on him gradually, a chill and a slight rustling of his thin hair, accompanied by a desire to be with anyone rather than be alone much longer. It was the start of fear.
He told himself in strong German-English that he was a foolish old man, and he began to feel about for the matches in the dusk. He knew just where they should be, for he always kept them in the same place, close to the little tin box that held bits of sealing-wax of various colours, for some kinds of mending. But somehow he could not find the matches in the gloom.
He told himself in a strong mix of German and English that he was a foolish old man, and he started feeling around for the matches in the dim light. He knew exactly where they should be since he always kept them in the same spot, next to the small tin box that held pieces of sealing wax in different colors, for various repairs. But somehow, he couldn't find the matches in the dark.
Something had happened to Else, he was sure, and as his fear increased, he felt as though it might be allayed if he could get a light and see what time it was. Then he called himself a foolish old man again, and the sound of his own voice startled him in the dark. He could not find the matches.
Something had happened to Else, he was sure, and as his fear grew, he felt like it might ease if he could get a light and check the time. Then he called himself a foolish old man again, and the sound of his own voice startled him in the dark. He couldn’t find the matches.
The window was grey still; he might see what time it was if he went close to it, and he could go and get matches out of the cupboard afterwards.[Pg 292] He stood back from the table, to get out of the way of the chair, and began to cross the board floor.
The window was still grey; he could check the time if he went up to it, and he could grab some matches from the cupboard afterwards.[Pg 292] He stepped back from the table to avoid the chair and started to walk across the wooden floor.
Something was following him in the dark. There was a small pattering, as of tiny feet upon the boards. He stopped and listened, and the roots of his hair tingled. It was nothing, and he was a foolish old man. He made two steps more, and he was sure that he heard the little pattering again. He turned his back to the window, leaning against the sash so that the panes began to crack, and he faced the dark. Everything was quite still, and it smelt of paste and cement and wood-filings as usual.
Something was following him in the dark. He could hear a soft pattering, like tiny feet on the floorboards. He stopped and listened, and the hairs on his neck stood on end. It was nothing, and he felt like a foolish old man. He took a couple more steps and was convinced he heard the little pattering again. He turned his back to the window, leaning against the frame until the glass started to crack, and he faced the darkness. Everything was completely still, and it smelled like glue, cement, and wood shavings as usual.
"Is that you, Else?" he asked, and he was surprised by the fear in his voice.
"Is that you, Else?" he asked, surprised by the fear in his voice.
There was no answer in the room, and he held up his watch and tried to make out what time it was by the grey dusk that was just not darkness. So far as he could see, it was within two or three minutes of ten o'clock. He had been a long time alone. He was shocked, and frightened for Else, out in London, so late, and he almost ran across the room to the door. As he fumbled for the latch, he distinctly heard the running of the little feet after him.
There was no response in the room, and he raised his watch, trying to figure out what time it was in the dim twilight that was just shy of complete darkness. From what he could tell, it was within two or three minutes of ten o'clock. He had been alone for quite a while. He felt a wave of shock and fear for Else, out in London so late, and he nearly dashed across the room to the door. As he struggled with the latch, he clearly heard the sound of small footsteps following him.
"Mice!" he exclaimed feebly, just as he got the door open.
"Mice!" he said weakly, right as he got the door open.
He shut it quickly behind him, and felt as though some cold thing had settled on his back and were writhing upon him. The passage was quite dark, but he found his hat and was out in the alley in a moment, breathing more freely, and surprised to find how much light there still was in the open air. He could see the pavement clearly under his feet, and far off in the street to which the alley led he could hear the laughter and calls of children, playing some game out of doors. He wondered how he could have been so nervous, and for an instant he thought of going back into the house to wait quietly for Else. But instantly he felt that nervous fright of something stealing over him again. In any case it was better to walk up to Cranston House and ask the servants about the child. One of the women had perhaps taken a fancy to her, and was even now giving her tea and cake.
He quickly shut the door behind him and felt like something cold had settled on his back and was writhing against him. The hallway was completely dark, but he found his hat and stepped out into the alley in no time, breathing more easily and surprised to see how much light there still was outside. He could clearly see the pavement beneath his feet, and in the distance, he could hear the laughter and shouts of children playing some game outdoors. He wondered how he had been so nervous, and for a moment, he considered going back into the house to wait quietly for Else. But he immediately felt that nervous dread creeping over him again. In any case, it was better to walk up to Cranston House and ask the servants about the child. Maybe one of the women had taken a liking to her and was currently giving her tea and cake.
He walked quickly to Belgrave Square, and then up the broad streets, listening as he went, whenever there was no other sound, for the tiny footsteps. But he heard nothing, and was laughing at himself when he rang the servants' bell at the big house. Of course, the child must be there.
He walked quickly to Belgrave Square, then up the wide streets, listening as he went for the tiny footsteps whenever there was no other sound. But he heard nothing and was chuckling at himself when he rang the servants' bell at the big house. Of course, the child had to be there.
The person who opened the door was quite an inferior person, for it was a back door, but affected the manners of the front, and stared at Mr. Puckler superciliously under the strong light.
The person who opened the door was definitely not impressive, since it was a back door, but pretended to have the attitude of someone coming through the front, and looked at Mr. Puckler with a condescending stare under the bright light.
No little girl had been seen, and he knew "nothing about no dolls."
No little girl had been seen, and he knew "nothing about any dolls."
"She is my little girl," said Mr. Puckler tremulously, for all his anxiety was returning tenfold, "and I am afraid something has happened."
"She is my little girl," Mr. Puckler said nervously, as all his anxiety was coming back even stronger. "I’m afraid something has happened."
The inferior person said rudely that "nothing could have happened to her in that house, because she had not been there, which was a jolly good reason why;" and Mr. Puckler was obliged to admit that the man ought to know, as it was his business to keep the door and let people in. He wished to be allowed to speak to the under nurse, who knew him; but the man was ruder than ever, and finally shut the door in his face.
The rude person said bluntly that "nothing could have happened to her in that house because she hadn’t been there, which was a perfectly good reason;” and Mr. Puckler had to agree that the guy should know, since it was his job to keep the door and let people in. He wanted to talk to the under nurse, who recognized him; but the guy was even ruder this time and eventually slammed the door in his face.
When the doll doctor was alone in the street, he steadied himself by the railing, for he felt as though he were breaking in two, just as some dolls break, in the middle of the backbone.
When the doll doctor was alone on the street, he leaned against the railing to steady himself, feeling like he was about to snap in half, just like some dolls do in the middle of their backbone.
Presently he knew that he must be doing something to find Else, and that gave him strength. He began to walk as quickly as he could through the streets, following every highway and byway which his little girl might have taken on her errand. He also asked several policemen in vain if they had seen her, and most of them answered him kindly, for they saw that he was a sober man and in his right senses, and some of them had little girls of their own.
Right now, he understood that he needed to do something to find Else, and that gave him strength. He started to walk as quickly as he could through the streets, taking every main road and side street that his little girl might have used on her errand. He also asked several police officers, but none had seen her, and most of them responded kindly, as they could tell he was a reasonable man in his right mind, and some of them had little girls of their own.
It was one o'clock in the morning when he went[Pg 295] up to his own door again, worn out and hopeless and broken-hearted. As he turned the key in the lock, his heart stood still, for he knew that he was awake and not dreaming, and that he really heard those tiny footsteps pattering to meet him inside the house along the passage.
It was one o'clock in the morning when he walked up to his own door again, exhausted, hopeless, and heartbroken. As he turned the key in the lock, his heart stopped, because he realized he was awake and not dreaming, and that he actually heard those little footsteps pattering to greet him inside the house along the hallway.
But he was too unhappy to be much frightened any more, and his heart went on again with a dull regular pain, that found its way all through him with every pulse. So he went in, and hung up his hat in the dark, and found the matches in the cupboard and the candlestick in its place in the corner.
But he was too unhappy to feel scared anymore, and his heart continued with a dull, steady pain that coursed through him with every heartbeat. So he went inside, hung up his hat in the dark, found the matches in the cupboard, and grabbed the candlestick from its spot in the corner.
Mr. Puckler was so much overcome and so completely worn out that he sat down in his chair before the work-table and almost fainted, as his face dropped forward upon his folded hands. Beside him the solitary candle burned steadily with a low flame in the still warm air.
Mr. Puckler was so overwhelmed and completely exhausted that he sat down in his chair at the work table and nearly fainted, with his face dropping forward onto his folded hands. Next to him, the lone candle burned steadily with a low flame in the still warm air.
"Else! Else!" he moaned against his yellow knuckles. And that was all he could say, and it was no relief to him. On the contrary, the very sound of the name was a new and sharp pain that pierced his ears and his head and his very soul. For every time he repeated the name it meant that little Else was dead, somewhere out in the streets of London in the dark.
"Else! Else!" he groaned against his yellow knuckles. That was all he could say, and it didn't bring him any comfort. Instead, the sound of her name was a fresh and painful jab that pierced his ears, his head, and his very soul. Because every time he uttered her name, it meant that little Else was dead, somewhere out in the dark streets of London.
He was so terribly hurt that he did not even feel something pulling gently at the skirt of his old[Pg 296] coat, so gently that it was like the nibbling of a tiny mouse. He might have thought that it was really a mouse if he had noticed it.
He was in so much pain that he didn't even notice something gently tugging at the hem of his old[Pg 296] coat, so softly that it felt like a tiny mouse nibbling. He might have believed it was actually a mouse if he had paid attention.
"Else! Else!" he groaned right against his hands.
"Else! Else!" he groaned into his hands.
Then a cool breath stirred his thin hair, and the low flame of the one candle dropped down almost to a mere spark, not flickering as though a draught were going to blow it out, but just dropping down as if it were tired out. Mr. Puckler felt his hands stiffening with fright under his face; and there was a faint rustling sound, like some small silk thing blown in a gentle breeze. He sat up straight, stark and scared, and a small wooden voice spoke in the stillness.
Then a cool breeze ruffled his thin hair, and the low flame of the one candle faded down almost to a tiny spark, not flickering as if a draft was going to snuff it out, but just dimming as if it were exhausted. Mr. Puckler felt his hands stiffening with fear under his face; and there was a faint rustling sound, like something small and silky blowing in a gentle wind. He sat up straight, tense and frightened, and a small wooden voice spoke in the silence.
"Pa-pa," it said, with a break between the syllables.
"Pa-pa," it said, pausing between the syllables.
Mr. Puckler stood up in a single jump, and his chair fell over backwards with a smashing noise upon the wooden floor. The candle had almost gone out.
Mr. Puckler jumped up in one swift motion, and his chair toppled over backward with a loud crash on the wooden floor. The candle was nearly extinguished.
It was Nina's doll voice that had spoken, and he should have known it among the voices of a hundred other dolls. And yet there was something more in it, a little human ring, with a pitiful cry and a call for help, and the wail of a hurt child. Mr. Puckler stood up, stark and stiff, and tried to look round, but at first he could not, for he seemed to be frozen from head to foot.
It was Nina's doll voice that had spoken, and he should have recognized it among the voices of a hundred other dolls. Yet, there was something more in it, a slight human tone, with a sorrowful cry and a plea for help, reminiscent of a hurt child. Mr. Puckler stood up, rigid and tense, and tried to look around, but at first he couldn’t, because he felt completely frozen.
Then he made a great effort, and he raised one hand to each of his temples, and pressed his own head round as he would have turned a doll's. The candle was burning so low that it might as well have been out altogether, for any light it gave, and the room seemed quite dark at first. Then he saw something. He would not have believed that he could be more frightened than he had been just before that. But he was, and his knees shook, for he saw the doll standing in the middle of the floor, shining with a faint and ghostly radiance, her beautiful glassy brown eyes fixed on his. And across her face the very thin line of the break he had mended shone as though it were drawn in light with a fine point of white flame.
Then he put in a big effort, raising one hand to each side of his head, and turning his own head around like he was adjusting a doll. The candle was burning so low that it might as well have been out completely, giving off almost no light, and the room felt really dark at first. But then he saw something. He never thought he could be more scared than he had been just before that moment. But he was, and his knees shook because he saw the doll standing in the middle of the floor, glowing with a faint, ghostly light, her beautiful glassy brown eyes locked on his. And across her face, the very thin line of the crack he had fixed glowed as if it were outlined in light with a delicate point of white flame.
Yet there was something more in the eyes, too; there was something human, like Else's own, but as if only the doll saw him through them, and not Else. And there was enough of Else to bring back all his pain and to make him forget his fear.
Yet there was something more in the eyes, too; there was something human, like Else's own, but it was as if only the doll saw him through them, and not Else. And there was enough of Else to bring back all his pain and to make him forget his fear.
"Else! my little Else!" he cried aloud.
"Else! My little Else!" he shouted.
The small ghost moved, and its doll-arm slowly rose and fell with a stiff, mechanical motion.
The tiny ghost shifted, and its doll-like arm slowly lifted and lowered with a rigid, mechanical movement.
"Pa-pa," it said.
"Papa," it said.
It seemed this time that there was even more of Else's tone echoing somewhere between the wooden notes that reached his ears so distinctly, and yet so far away. Else was calling him, he was sure.
It felt like there was even more of Else's voice resonating somewhere between the wooden sounds that reached his ears so clearly, yet felt so distant. He was certain Else was calling him.
His face was perfectly white in the gloom, but his knees did not shake any more, and he felt that he was less frightened.
His face was completely pale in the dim light, but his knees weren't shaking anymore, and he realized he was feeling less scared.
"Yes, child! But where? Where?" he asked. "Where are you, Else?"
"Yes, kid! But where? Where?" he asked. "Where are you, Else?"
"Pa-pa!"
"Dad!"
The syllables died away in the quiet room. There was a low rustling of silk, the glassy brown eyes turned slowly away, and Mr. Puckler heard the pitter-patter of the small feet in the bronze kid slippers as the figure ran straight to the door. Then the candle burned high again, the room was full of light, and he was alone.
The sounds faded in the quiet room. There was a soft rustling of silk, the shiny brown eyes slowly turned away, and Mr. Puckler heard the little feet in the bronze kid slippers as the figure darted straight to the door. Then the candle blazed brightly again, the room was filled with light, and he was all alone.
Mr. Puckler passed his hand over his eyes and looked about him. He could see everything quite clearly, and he felt that he must have been dreaming, though he was standing instead of sitting down, as he should have been if he had just waked up. The candle burned brightly now. There were the dolls to be mended, lying in a row with their toes up. The third one had lost her right shoe, and Else was making one. He knew that, and he was certainly not dreaming now. He had not been dreaming when he had come in from his fruitless search and had heard the doll's footsteps running to the door. He had not fallen asleep in his chair. How could he possibly have fallen asleep when his heart was breaking? He had been awake all the time.
Mr. Puckler rubbed his eyes and looked around. Everything was perfectly clear, and he realized he must have been dreaming, even though he was standing instead of sitting down like he should have if he had just woken up. The candle was burning brightly now. The dolls that needed fixing were lined up with their toes in the air. The third one had lost her right shoe, and Else was making one. He knew that, and there was no way he was dreaming now. He hadn’t been dreaming when he came in from his fruitless search and heard the doll’s footsteps running to the door. He hadn't fallen asleep in his chair. How could he have possibly fallen asleep when his heart was breaking? He had been awake the whole time.
He steadied himself, set the fallen chair upon its legs, and said to himself again very emphatically that he was a foolish old man. He ought to be out in the streets looking for his child, asking questions, and enquiring at the police stations, where all accidents were reported as soon as they were known, or at the hospitals.
He took a deep breath, put the fallen chair back on its legs, and told himself again, firmly, that he was a foolish old man. He should be out in the streets searching for his child, asking questions, and checking at the police stations, where all accidents were reported as soon as they were known, or at the hospitals.
"Pa-pa!"
"Dad!"
The longing, wailing, pitiful little wooden cry rang from the passage, outside the door, and Mr. Puckler stood for an instant with white face, transfixed and rooted to the spot. A moment later his hand was on the latch. Then he was in the passage, with the light streaming from the open door behind him.
The heartbreaking, desperate little wooden sound echoed from the hallway outside the door, and Mr. Puckler paused for a moment with a pale face, frozen in place. A second later, his hand was on the latch. Then he stepped into the hallway, with light pouring in from the open door behind him.
Quite at the other end he saw the little phantom shining clearly in the shadow, and the right hand seemed to beckon to him as the arm rose and fell once more. He knew all at once that it had not come to frighten him but to lead him, and when it disappeared, and he walked boldly towards the door, he knew that it was in the street outside, waiting for him. He forgot that he was tired and had eaten no supper, and had walked many miles, for a sudden hope ran through and through him, like a golden stream of life.
Quite at the other end, he saw the little ghost glowing brightly in the shadow, and the right hand seemed to wave at him as the arm moved up and down again. He suddenly realized it hadn’t come to scare him but to guide him, and when it vanished, he walked confidently toward the door, knowing it was outside in the street, waiting for him. He forgot he was tired, hadn’t eaten dinner, and had walked for miles, as a surge of hope flowed through him, like a golden stream of energy.
And sure enough, at the corner of the alley, and at the corner of the street, and out in Belgrave[Pg 300] Square, he saw the small ghost flitting before him. Sometimes it was only a shadow, where there was other light, but then the glare of the lamps made a pale green sheen on its little Mother Hubbard frock of silk; and sometimes, where the streets were dark and silent, the whole figure shone out brightly, with its yellow curls and rosy neck. It seemed to trot along like a tiny child, and Mr. Puckler could almost hear the pattering of the bronze kid slippers on the pavement as it ran. But it went very fast, and he could only just keep up with it, tearing along with his hat on the back of his head and his thin hair blown by the night breeze, and his horn-rimmed spectacles firmly set upon his broad nose.
And sure enough, at the corner of the alley, at the corner of the street, and out in Belgrave[Pg 300] Square, he saw the small ghost flitting before him. Sometimes it was just a shadow in the light, but then the bright lamps cast a pale green glow on its little Mother Hubbard silk dress; and at times, where the streets were dark and quiet, the whole figure appeared brightly, with its yellow curls and rosy neck. It seemed to trot along like a tiny child, and Mr. Puckler could almost hear the soft patter of the bronze kid slippers on the pavement as it ran. But it moved quickly, and he could barely keep up, rushing along with his hat on the back of his head, his thin hair blowing in the night breeze, and his horn-rimmed glasses firmly perched on his broad nose.
On and on he went, and he had no idea where he was. He did not even care, for he knew certainly that he was going the right way.
On and on he went, completely unaware of where he was. He didn’t even care, because he was confident he was heading in the right direction.
Then at last, in a wide, quiet street, he was standing before a big, sober-looking door that had two lamps on each side of it, and a polished brass bell-handle, which he pulled.
Then finally, on a broad, quiet street, he stood in front of a large, serious-looking door that had two lights on either side of it, and a shiny brass doorbell, which he pulled.
And just inside, when the door was opened, in the bright light, there was the little shadow, and the pale green sheen of the little silk dress, and once more the small cry came to his ears, less pitiful, more longing.
And just inside, when the door was opened, in the bright light, there was the little shadow, and the pale green sheen of the little silk dress, and once again the small cry came to his ears, less pitiful, more yearning.
"Pa-pa!"
"Dad!"
The shadow turned suddenly bright, and out of the brightness the beautiful brown glass eyes were turned up happily to his, while the rosy mouth smiled so divinely that the phantom doll looked almost like a little angel just then.
The shadow suddenly lit up, and from the light, the beautiful brown glass eyes looked up at him happily, while the rosy mouth smiled so beautifully that the phantom doll seemed almost like a little angel at that moment.
"A little girl was brought in soon after ten o'clock," said the quiet voice of the hospital doorkeeper. "I think they thought she was only stunned. She was holding a big brown-paper box against her, and they could not get it out of her arms. She had a long plait of brown hair that hung down as they carried her."
“A little girl was brought in shortly after ten o'clock,” said the soft voice of the hospital doorkeeper. “I think they thought she was just in shock. She was holding a large brown paper box against her, and they couldn’t pry it out of her arms. She had a long braid of brown hair that hung down as they carried her.”
"She is my little girl," said Mr. Puckler, but he hardly heard his own voice.
"She's my little girl," said Mr. Puckler, but he barely heard his own voice.
He leaned over Else's face in the gentle light of the children's ward, and when he had stood there a minute the beautiful brown eyes opened and looked up to his.
He leaned over Else's face in the soft light of the children's ward, and after standing there for a minute, her beautiful brown eyes opened and looked up at his.
"Pa-pa!" cried Else, softly, "I knew you would come!"
"Papa!" cried Else softly, "I knew you would come!"
Then Mr. Puckler did not know what he did or said for a moment, and what he felt was worth all the fear and terror and despair that had almost killed him that night. But by and by Else was telling her story, and the nurse let her speak, for there were only two other children in the room, who were getting well and were sound asleep.
Then Mr. Puckler didn’t know what he was doing or saying for a moment, and what he felt made all the fear, terror, and despair that had almost killed him that night worth it. But soon, Else was telling her story, and the nurse let her speak since there were only two other children in the room, who were recovering and sound asleep.
"They were big boys with bad faces," said Else,[Pg 302] "and they tried to get Nina away from me, but I held on and fought as well as I could till one of them hit me with something, and I don't remember any more, for I tumbled down, and I suppose the boys ran away, and somebody found me there. But I'm afraid Nina is all smashed."
"They were big guys with mean faces," said Else,[Pg 302] "and they tried to grab Nina away from me, but I held on and fought back as hard as I could until one of them hit me with something, and I don't remember anything after that, because I fell down, and I guess the guys ran off, and someone found me there. But I'm worried Nina is hurt."
"Here is the box," said the nurse. "We could not take it out of her arms till she came to herself. Should you like to see if the doll is broken?"
"Here’s the box," the nurse said. "We couldn't take it from her arms until she came to her senses. Do you want to check if the doll is broken?"
And she undid the string cleverly, but Nina was all smashed to pieces. Only the gentle light of the children's ward made a pale green sheen in the folds of the little Mother Hubbard frock.
And she skillfully untied the string, but Nina was completely shattered. Only the soft light of the children's ward cast a pale green glow in the fabric of the little Mother Hubbard dress.
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