This is a modern-English version of The Picture of Dorian Gray, originally written by Wilde, Oscar. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY


by

by

Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde




1890, 13-CHAPTER VERSION

1890, 13-Chapter Edition




CONTENTS

CONTENTS




CHAPTER I

[3] The studio was filled with the rich odor of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn.

[3] The studio was filled with the sweet smell of roses, and when the light summer breeze rustled through the trees in the garden, the strong scent of lilac or the lighter fragrance of the pink-flowering thorn came in through the open door.

From the corner of the divan of Persian saddle-bags on which he was lying, smoking, as usual, innumerable cigarettes, Lord Henry Wotton could just catch the gleam of the honey-sweet and honey-colored blossoms of the laburnum, whose tremulous branches seemed hardly able to bear the burden of a beauty so flame-like as theirs; and now and then the fantastic shadows of birds in flight flitted across the long tussore-silk curtains that were stretched in front of the huge window, producing a kind of momentary Japanese effect, and making him think of those pallid jade-faced painters who, in an art that is necessarily immobile, seek to convey the sense of swiftness and motion. The sullen murmur of the bees shouldering their way through the long unmown grass, or circling with monotonous insistence round the black-crocketed spires of the early June hollyhocks, seemed to make the stillness more oppressive, and the dim roar of London was like the bourdon note of a distant organ.

From the corner of the Persian saddle-bags where he was lounging, as usual smoking countless cigarettes, Lord Henry Wotton could just see the sparkling honey-sweet and honey-colored blossoms of the laburnum, whose delicate branches seemed barely able to support their flame-like beauty; now and then, the whimsical shadows of birds in flight raced across the long tussore-silk curtains stretched in front of the large window, creating a brief Japanese-like effect and reminding him of those pale, jade-faced artists who, in an art that is inherently still, try to express a sense of speed and movement. The dull buzz of the bees pushing their way through the long unmowed grass, or circling monotonously around the dark-crocketed spires of the early June hollyhocks, made the stillness feel even heavier, and the faint roar of London resembled the deep sound of a distant organ.

In the centre of the room, clamped to an upright easel, stood the full-length portrait of a young man of extraordinary personal beauty, and in front of it, some little distance away, was sitting the artist himself, Basil Hallward, whose sudden disappearance some years ago caused, at the time, such public excitement, and gave rise to so many strange conjectures.

In the middle of the room, secured to an upright easel, was a full-length portrait of a young man with striking good looks. Sitting in front of it, a bit away, was the artist himself, Basil Hallward, whose sudden disappearance a few years back created a lot of public stir and led to numerous bizarre speculations.

As he looked at the gracious and comely form he had so skilfully mirrored in his art, a smile of pleasure passed across his face, and seemed about to linger there. But he suddenly started up, and, closing [4] his eyes, placed his fingers upon the lids, as though he sought to imprison within his brain some curious dream from which he feared he might awake.

As he gazed at the graceful and attractive figure he had captured so well in his artwork, a smile of joy spread across his face and seemed like it would stay there. But he suddenly jumped up, and, closing [4] his eyes, placed his fingers on his eyelids, as if he were trying to trap some fascinating dream in his mind that he was afraid he might wake up from.

"It is your best work, Basil, the best thing you have ever done," said Lord Henry, languidly. "You must certainly send it next year to the Grosvenor. The Academy is too large and too vulgar. The Grosvenor is the only place."

"It’s your best work, Basil, the best thing you’ve ever done," said Lord Henry, lazily. "You definitely need to send it to the Grosvenor next year. The Academy is too big and too common. The Grosvenor is the only place."

"I don't think I will send it anywhere," he answered, tossing his head back in that odd way that used to make his friends laugh at him at Oxford. "No: I won't send it anywhere."

"I don't think I'm going to send it anywhere," he replied, tossing his head back in that strange way that used to make his friends laugh at him at Oxford. "Nope: I'm not sending it anywhere."

Lord Henry elevated his eyebrows, and looked at him in amazement through the thin blue wreaths of smoke that curled up in such fanciful whorls from his heavy opium-tainted cigarette. "Not send it anywhere? My dear fellow, why? Have you any reason? What odd chaps you painters are! You do anything in the world to gain a reputation. As soon as you have one, you seem to want to throw it away. It is silly of you, for there is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. A portrait like this would set you far above all the young men in England, and make the old men quite jealous, if old men are ever capable of any emotion."

Lord Henry raised his eyebrows and stared at him in disbelief through the thin blue curls of smoke that drifted up from his heavy opium-laced cigarette. "Not send it anywhere? My dear friend, why not? Do you have a reason? What strange guys you painters are! You'll do anything to earn a reputation. Once you have one, you seem to want to throw it away. It's foolish of you, because there's only one thing worse than being talked about, and that's not being talked about. A portrait like this would elevate you above all the young men in England and make the old men quite envious, if old men are ever capable of feeling anything."

"I know you will laugh at me," he replied, "but I really can't exhibit it. I have put too much of myself into it."

"I know you'll laugh at me," he said, "but I really can't show it. I've put too much of myself into it."

Lord Henry stretched his long legs out on the divan and shook with laughter.

Lord Henry stretched his long legs out on the couch and shook with laughter.

"Yes, I knew you would laugh; but it is quite true, all the same."

"Yeah, I knew you'd laugh; but it's still true, no matter what."

"Too much of yourself in it! Upon my word, Basil, I didn't know you were so vain; and I really can't see any resemblance between you, with your rugged strong face and your coal-black hair, and this young Adonis, who looks as if he was made of ivory and rose-leaves. Why, my dear Basil, he is a Narcissus, and you--well, of course you have an intellectual expression, and all that. But beauty, real beauty, ends where an intellectual expression begins. Intellect is in itself an exaggeration, and destroys the harmony of any face. The moment one sits down to think, one becomes all nose, or all forehead, or something horrid. Look at the successful men in any of the learned professions. How perfectly hideous they are! Except, of course, in the Church. But then in the Church they don't think. A bishop keeps on saying at the age of eighty what he was told to say when he was a boy of eighteen, and consequently he always looks absolutely delightful. Your mysterious young friend, whose name you have never told me, but whose picture really fascinates me, never thinks. I feel quite sure of that. He is a brainless, beautiful thing, who should be always here in winter when we have no flowers to look at, and always here in summer when we want something to chill our intelligence. Don't flatter yourself, Basil: you are not in the least like him."

"You're putting too much of yourself into it! Honestly, Basil, I didn't know you were so vain; and I really don't see any resemblance between you, with your rugged, strong face and your coal-black hair, and this young Adonis, who looks like he's made of ivory and rose petals. My dear Basil, he's a Narcissus, and you—sure, you have an intellectual vibe and all that. But real beauty fades where intellectual expression starts. Intellect itself is an exaggeration and messes up the harmony of any face. The moment someone sits down to think, they become all nose, or all forehead, or something terrible. Just look at the successful guys in any of the academic fields. They’re all perfectly hideous! Except, of course, in the Church. But there, they don't really think. A bishop keeps repeating at eighty what he was told when he was eighteen, so he always looks absolutely charming. Your mysterious young friend, whose name you've never shared, but whose picture really captivates me, never thinks. I'm quite sure of that. He's a beautiful, brainless creature who should always be here in winter when we have no flowers to admire, and always here in summer when we need something to cool our intellect. Don't kid yourself, Basil: you’re not at all like him."

"You don't understand me, Harry. Of course I am not like him. I know that perfectly well. Indeed, I should be sorry to look like him. You shrug your shoulders? I am telling you the truth. There is a fatality about all physical and intellectual distinction, the sort of fatality that [5] seems to dog through history the faltering steps of kings. It is better not to be different from one's fellows. The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world. They can sit quietly and gape at the play. If they know nothing of victory, they are at least spared the knowledge of defeat. They live as we all should live, undisturbed, indifferent, and without disquiet. They neither bring ruin upon others nor ever receive it from alien hands. Your rank and wealth, Harry; my brains, such as they are,--my fame, whatever it may be worth; Dorian Gray's good looks,--we will all suffer for what the gods have given us, suffer terribly."

"You don't get me, Harry. Of course I’m not like him. I know that really well. Honestly, I would hate to look like him. You shrug your shoulders? I'm telling you the truth. There’s a kind of inescapability about all physical and intellectual differences, the kind that seems to follow the hesitant steps of kings throughout history. It’s better not to stand out from others. The ugly and the ignorant have it easier in this world. They can just sit back and watch the show. If they’ve never experienced victory, at least they’re spared the pain of defeat. They live as we all should: peacefully, apathetically, and without worry. They neither bring disaster to others nor suffer from it themselves. Your status and wealth, Harry; my brains, such as they are—my fame, whatever that’s worth; Dorian Gray's looks—we're all going to pay for what the gods have given us, and it will hurt."

"Dorian Gray? is that his name?" said Lord Henry, walking across the studio towards Basil Hallward.

"Dorian Gray? Is that his name?" Lord Henry said, walking across the studio towards Basil Hallward.

"Yes; that is his name. I didn't intend to tell it to you."

"Yeah, that's his name. I didn't mean to tell you."

"But why not?"

"But why not?"

"Oh, I can't explain. When I like people immensely I never tell their names to any one. It seems like surrendering a part of them. You know how I love secrecy. It is the only thing that can make modern life wonderful or mysterious to us. The commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it. When I leave town I never tell my people where I am going. If I did, I would lose all my pleasure. It is a silly habit, I dare say, but somehow it seems to bring a great deal of romance into one's life. I suppose you think me awfully foolish about it?"

"Oh, I can’t explain. When I really like people, I never tell anyone their names. It feels like giving up a part of them. You know how much I love keeping things private. It’s the only thing that can make modern life exciting or mysterious for us. The simplest things are delightful if you just keep them hidden. When I leave town, I never tell my friends where I’m going. If I did, I’d lose all my enjoyment. It’s a silly habit, I admit, but it somehow brings a lot of romance into life. I guess you think I'm really foolish about it?"

"Not at all," answered Lord Henry, laying his hand upon his shoulder; "not at all, my dear Basil. You seem to forget that I am married, and the one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception necessary for both parties. I never know where my wife is, and my wife never knows what I am doing. When we meet,--we do meet occasionally, when we dine out together, or go down to the duke's,--we tell each other the most absurd stories with the most serious faces. My wife is very good at it,--much better, in fact, than I am. She never gets confused over her dates, and I always do. But when she does find me out, she makes no row at all. I sometimes wish she would; but she merely laughs at me."

"Not at all," Lord Henry replied, placing his hand on Basil's shoulder. "Not at all, my dear Basil. You seem to forget that I'm married, and the one great thing about marriage is that it requires a life of deception for both people. I never know where my wife is, and she never knows what I'm up to. When we do meet— we meet occasionally, when we go out to dinner together or visit the duke— we share the most ridiculous stories with the most serious expressions. My wife is really good at it—way better than I am. She never mixes up her facts, while I always do. But when she does catch me, she doesn't make a fuss at all. Sometimes I wish she would; instead, she just laughs at me."

"I hate the way you talk about your married life, Harry," said Basil Hallward, shaking his hand off, and strolling towards the door that led into the garden. "I believe that you are really a very good husband, but that you are thoroughly ashamed of your own virtues. You are an extraordinary fellow. You never say a moral thing, and you never do a wrong thing. Your cynicism is simply a pose."

"I hate how you talk about your married life, Harry," said Basil Hallward, shaking his hand off and walking toward the door that led to the garden. "I believe you’re actually a pretty good husband, but you’re completely embarrassed by your own virtues. You’re quite a character. You never say anything moral, and you never do anything wrong. Your cynicism is just an act."

"Being natural is simply a pose, and the most irritating pose I know," cried Lord Henry, laughing; and the two young men went out into the garden together, and for a time they did not speak.

"Being natural is just an act, and it's the most annoying act I know," laughed Lord Henry, and the two young men walked out into the garden together, remaining silent for a while.

After a long pause Lord Henry pulled out his watch. "I am afraid I must be going, Basil," he murmured, "and before I go I insist on your answering a question I put to you some time ago."

After a long pause, Lord Henry took out his watch. "I'm afraid I have to go, Basil," he said softly, "and before I leave, I insist that you answer a question I asked you a while back."

"What is that?" asked Basil Hallward, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground.

"What is that?" asked Basil Hallward, staring at the ground.

"You know quite well."

"You know very well."

"I do not, Harry."

"I don't, Harry."

[6] "Well, I will tell you what it is."

[6] "Okay, I'll explain what it is."

"Please don't."

"Please don’t."

"I must. I want you to explain to me why you won't exhibit Dorian Gray's picture. I want the real reason."

"I have to. I want you to tell me why you won’t show Dorian Gray's portrait. I want the honest reason."

"I told you the real reason."

"I gave you the real reason."

"No, you did not. You said it was because there was too much of yourself in it. Now, that is childish."

"No, you didn't. You said it was because there was too much of yourself in it. Now, that's childish."

"Harry," said Basil Hallward, looking him straight in the face, "every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter. The sitter is merely the accident, the occasion. It is not he who is revealed by the painter; it is rather the painter who, on the colored canvas, reveals himself. The reason I will not exhibit this picture is that I am afraid that I have shown with it the secret of my own soul."

"Harry," Basil Hallward said, looking him straight in the eye, "every portrait painted with feeling is really a portrait of the artist, not the person being painted. The sitter is just a coincidence, a moment. It’s not them who is revealed by the painter; it’s actually the painter who, on the colored canvas, reveals themselves. The reason I won’t show this picture is that I’m afraid I’ve exposed the secret of my own soul."

Lord Harry laughed. "And what is that?" he asked.

Lord Harry laughed. "And what’s that?" he asked.

"I will tell you," said Hallward; and an expression of perplexity came over his face.

"I'll tell you," said Hallward, and a look of confusion spread across his face.

"I am all expectation, Basil," murmured his companion, looking at him.

"I can't wait, Basil," his companion whispered, looking at him.

"Oh, there is really very little to tell, Harry," answered the young painter; "and I am afraid you will hardly understand it. Perhaps you will hardly believe it."

"Oh, there’s really not much to say, Harry," the young painter replied. "I’m afraid you’ll barely understand it. Maybe you won’t even believe it."

Lord Henry smiled, and, leaning down, plucked a pink-petalled daisy from the grass, and examined it. "I am quite sure I shall understand it," he replied, gazing intently at the little golden white-feathered disk, "and I can believe anything, provided that it is incredible."

Lord Henry smiled, leaned down, and picked a pink-petaled daisy from the grass, examining it closely. "I'm sure I’ll understand it," he said, staring intently at the small, golden, white-feathered center, "and I can believe anything, as long as it’s unbelievable."

The wind shook some blossoms from the trees, and the heavy lilac blooms, with their clustering stars, moved to and fro in the languid air. A grasshopper began to chirrup in the grass, and a long thin dragon-fly floated by on its brown gauze wings. Lord Henry felt as if he could hear Basil Hallward's heart beating, and he wondered what was coming.

The wind shook some flowers from the trees, and the heavy lilac blooms, with their clustered stars, swayed gently in the warm air. A grasshopper started chirping in the grass, and a long, slender dragonfly drifted by on its brown, gauzy wings. Lord Henry felt like he could hear Basil Hallward's heart beating, and he wondered what was about to happen.

"Well, this is incredible," repeated Hallward, rather bitterly,--"incredible to me at times. I don't know what it means. The story is simply this. Two months ago I went to a crush at Lady Brandon's. You know we poor painters have to show ourselves in society from time to time, just to remind the public that we are not savages. With an evening coat and a white tie, as you told me once, anybody, even a stock-broker, can gain a reputation for being civilized. Well, after I had been in the room about ten minutes, talking to huge overdressed dowagers and tedious Academicians, I suddenly became conscious that some one was looking at me. I turned half-way round, and saw Dorian Gray for the first time. When our eyes met, I felt that I was growing pale. A curious instinct of terror came over me. I knew that I had come face to face with some one whose mere personality was so fascinating that, if I allowed it to do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my very art itself. I did not want any external influence in my life. You know yourself, Harry, how independent I am by nature. My father destined me for the army. I insisted on [7] going to Oxford. Then he made me enter my name at the Middle Temple. Before I had eaten half a dozen dinners I gave up the Bar, and announced my intention of becoming a painter. I have always been my own master; had at least always been so, till I met Dorian Gray. Then--But I don't know how to explain it to you. Something seemed to tell me that I was on the verge of a terrible crisis in my life. I had a strange feeling that Fate had in store for me exquisite joys and exquisite sorrows. I knew that if I spoke to Dorian I would become absolutely devoted to him, and that I ought not to speak to him. I grew afraid, and turned to quit the room. It was not conscience that made me do so: it was cowardice. I take no credit to myself for trying to escape."

"Well, this is incredible," Hallward said bitterly, "incredible to me at times. I don't know what it means. The story is simple. Two months ago, I went to a party at Lady Brandon's. You know how we painters have to put ourselves out there in society every now and then, just to remind people that we’re not savages. With a nice suit and a bow tie, as you once told me, anyone, even a stockbroker, can look cultured. Anyway, after I had been in the room for about ten minutes, chatting with a bunch of over-dressed socialites and boring Academicians, I suddenly realized someone was staring at me. I turned partway around and saw Dorian Gray for the first time. When our eyes met, I felt myself grow pale. A strange instinct of fear washed over me. I knew I had come face to face with someone whose mere presence was so captivating that, if I let it, it would take over my entire being, my whole soul, my very art. I didn’t want any outside influence in my life. You know how independent I am by nature, Harry. My father wanted me to join the army. I insisted on going to Oxford. Then he made me enroll at the Middle Temple. Before I had even finished half a dozen dinners, I quit law and declared my intention to become a painter. I’ve always been my own boss; at least I always was until I met Dorian Gray. Then—But I can’t explain it to you. Something told me I was on the brink of a significant turning point in my life. I had a feeling that Fate had some exquisite joys and sorrows in store for me. I knew that if I spoke to Dorian, I would become completely devoted to him, and that I shouldn’t speak to him. I started to feel scared and turned to leave the room. It wasn’t my conscience that drove me; it was cowardice. I take no pride in trying to escape."

"Conscience and cowardice are really the same things, Basil. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all."

"Conscience and cowardice are basically the same thing, Basil. Conscience is just the brand name. That's all."

"I don't believe that, Harry. However, whatever was my motive,--and it may have been pride, for I used to be very proud,--I certainly struggled to the door. There, of course, I stumbled against Lady Brandon. 'You are not going to run away so soon, Mr. Hallward?' she screamed out. You know her shrill horrid voice?"

"I don't believe that, Harry. But whatever my motive was—and it may have been pride, because I used to be very proud—I definitely struggled to the door. Of course, I tripped over Lady Brandon. 'You aren't going to run away so soon, Mr. Hallward?' she shouted. You know her sharp, awful voice?"

"Yes; she is a peacock in everything but beauty," said Lord Henry, pulling the daisy to bits with his long, nervous fingers.

"Yeah; she's a peacock in every way except for her looks," said Lord Henry, tearing the daisy apart with his long, anxious fingers.

"I could not get rid of her. She brought me up to Royalties, and people with Stars and Garters, and elderly ladies with gigantic tiaras and hooked noses. She spoke of me as her dearest friend. I had only met her once before, but she took it into her head to lionize me. I believe some picture of mine had made a great success at the time, at least had been chattered about in the penny newspapers, which is the nineteenth-century standard of immortality. Suddenly I found myself face to face with the young man whose personality had so strangely stirred me. We were quite close, almost touching. Our eyes met again. It was mad of me, but I asked Lady Brandon to introduce me to him. Perhaps it was not so mad, after all. It was simply inevitable. We would have spoken to each other without any introduction. I am sure of that. Dorian told me so afterwards. He, too, felt that we were destined to know each other."

"I couldn't shake her off. She introduced me to royals, people with stars and garters, and older women wearing huge tiaras and with hooked noses. She referred to me as her dearest friend. I had only met her once before, but she decided to treat me like a celebrity. I think one of my paintings had recently become a hit, or at least had been talked about in the penny papers, which was the nineteenth-century equivalent of fame. Suddenly, I found myself face to face with the young man whose personality had affected me so profoundly. We were really close, almost touching. Our eyes met again. It was crazy of me, but I asked Lady Brandon to introduce me to him. Maybe it wasn’t so crazy after all. It felt like it was meant to be. I’m sure we would have talked to each other even without an introduction. Dorian told me that later. He felt the same way—that we were meant to know each other."

"And how did Lady Brandon describe this wonderful young man? I know she goes in for giving a rapid précis of all her guests. I remember her bringing me up to a most truculent and red-faced old gentleman covered all over with orders and ribbons, and hissing into my ear, in a tragic whisper which must have been perfectly audible to everybody in the room, something like 'Sir Humpty Dumpty--you know--Afghan frontier--Russian intrigues: very successful man--wife killed by an elephant--quite inconsolable--wants to marry a beautiful American widow--everybody does nowadays--hates Mr. Gladstone--but very much interested in beetles: ask him what he thinks of Schouvaloff.' I simply fled. I like to find out people for myself. But poor Lady Brandon treats her guests exactly as an auctioneer treats his goods. She either explains them entirely away, or tells one everything about them except what one wants to know. But what did she say about Mr. Dorian Gray?"

"And how did Lady Brandon describe this amazing young man? I know she loves to give a quick overview of all her guests. I remember her introducing me to a very fierce and red-faced old gentleman covered in medals and ribbons, and hissing into my ear, in a dramatic whisper that must have been perfectly audible to everyone in the room, something like 'Sir Humpty Dumpty—you know—Afghan frontier—Russian intrigues: very successful man—wife killed by an elephant—quite inconsolable—wants to marry a beautiful American widow—everyone does that nowadays—hates Mr. Gladstone—but really interested in beetles: ask him what he thinks of Schouvaloff.' I just ran away. I like to figure people out on my own. But poor Lady Brandon treats her guests just like an auctioneer treats his merchandise. She either explains them completely or tells you everything about them except what you actually want to know. But what did she say about Mr. Dorian Gray?"

[8] "Oh, she murmured, 'Charming boy--poor dear mother and I quite inseparable--engaged to be married to the same man--I mean married on the same day--how very silly of me! Quite forget what he does--afraid he--doesn't do anything--oh, yes, plays the piano--or is it the violin, dear Mr. Gray?' We could neither of us help laughing, and we became friends at once."

[8] "Oh," she said softly, "Charming boy—poor dear mother and I are totally inseparable—we’re both engaged to the same man—I mean married on the same day—how very silly of me! I completely forgot what he does—I'm afraid he doesn’t do much—oh, yes, he plays the piano—or is it the violin, dear Mr. Gray?" We couldn’t help laughing, and we instantly became friends."

"Laughter is not a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is the best ending for one," said Lord Henry, plucking another daisy.

"Laughter isn't a bad way to start a friendship, and it's the best way to end one," said Lord Henry, picking another daisy.

Hallward buried his face in his hands. "You don't understand what friendship is, Harry," he murmured,--"or what enmity is, for that matter. You like every one; that is to say, you are indifferent to every one."

Hallward buried his face in his hands. "You don't get what friendship is, Harry," he murmured, "or what enmity is, for that matter. You like everyone; in other words, you don’t care about anyone."

"How horribly unjust of you!" cried Lord Henry, tilting his hat back, and looking up at the little clouds that were drifting across the hollowed turquoise of the summer sky, like ravelled skeins of glossy white silk. "Yes; horribly unjust of you. I make a great difference between people. I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their characters, and my enemies for their brains. A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. I have not got one who is a fool. They are all men of some intellectual power, and consequently they all appreciate me. Is that very vain of me? I think it is rather vain."

"How incredibly unfair of you!" exclaimed Lord Henry, tilting his hat back and gazing at the small clouds drifting across the bright blue summer sky, like tangled strands of shiny white silk. "Yes, really unfair of you. I see a big difference between people. I choose my friends for their looks, my acquaintances for their character, and my enemies for their intellect. A person can't be too careful when picking their enemies. I don’t have a single fool among them. They’re all intellectually powerful individuals, so they all appreciate me. Is that really conceited of me? I think it is a bit conceited."

"I should think it was, Harry. But according to your category I must be merely an acquaintance."

"I guess it was, Harry. But by your definition, I must just be an acquaintance."

"My dear old Basil, you are much more than an acquaintance."

"My dear old Basil, you are way more than just an acquaintance."

"And much less than a friend. A sort of brother, I suppose?"

"And definitely less than a friend. More like a brother, I guess?"

"Oh, brothers! I don't care for brothers. My elder brother won't die, and my younger brothers seem never to do anything else."

"Oh, brothers! I have no fondness for brothers. My older brother won't die, and my younger brothers never seem to do anything other than that."

"Harry!"

"Hey, Harry!"

"My dear fellow, I am not quite serious. But I can't help detesting my relations. I suppose it comes from the fact that we can't stand other people having the same faults as ourselves. I quite sympathize with the rage of the English democracy against what they call the vices of the upper classes. They feel that drunkenness, stupidity, and immorality should be their own special property, and that if any one of us makes an ass of himself he is poaching on their preserves. When poor Southwark got into the Divorce Court, their indignation was quite magnificent. And yet I don't suppose that ten per cent of the lower orders live correctly."

My dear friend, I’m not being entirely serious. But I can’t help but dislike my relatives. I guess it’s because we can’t stand when others have the same flaws we do. I completely understand the anger English society feels towards what they call the vices of the upper classes. They believe that issues like drunkenness, ignorance, and immorality should be exclusive to them, and if any of us embarrass ourselves, we’re infringing on their territory. When poor Southwark ended up in the Divorce Court, their outrage was truly impressive. Yet, I doubt even ten percent of the lower class lives a proper life.

"I don't agree with a single word that you have said, and, what is more, Harry, I don't believe you do either."

"I don’t agree with a single word you’ve said, and what’s more, Harry, I don’t think you believe it either."

Lord Henry stroked his pointed brown beard, and tapped the toe of his patent-leather boot with a tasselled malacca cane. "How English you are, Basil! If one puts forward an idea to a real Englishman,--always a rash thing to do,--he never dreams of considering whether the idea is right or wrong. The only thing he considers of any importance is whether one believes it one's self. Now, the value of an idea has nothing whatsoever to do with the sincerity of the man who expresses it. Indeed, the probabilities are that the more insincere the man is, the more purely intellectual will the idea be, as in that case it [9] will not be colored by either his wants, his desires, or his prejudices. However, I don't propose to discuss politics, sociology, or metaphysics with you. I like persons better than principles. Tell me more about Dorian Gray. How often do you see him?"

Lord Henry stroked his pointed brown beard and tapped the toe of his shiny leather boot with a fancy cane. "How very English you are, Basil! If you share an idea with a real Englishman—which is always a risky move—he never thinks about whether the idea is right or wrong. The only thing he cares about is whether the person believes it themselves. Now, the value of an idea doesn't depend at all on the sincerity of the person expressing it. In fact, the more insincere someone is, the more purely intellectual their idea tends to be, since it won't be influenced by their wants, desires, or biases. But I’m not looking to discuss politics, sociology, or metaphysics with you. I prefer people over principles. Tell me more about Dorian Gray. How often do you see him?"

"Every day. I couldn't be happy if I didn't see him every day. Of course sometimes it is only for a few minutes. But a few minutes with somebody one worships mean a great deal."

"Every day. I couldn't be happy if I didn't see him every day. Of course, sometimes it's just for a few minutes. But a few minutes with someone you adore means a lot."

"But you don't really worship him?"

"But you don't actually worship him?"

"I do."

"I do."

"How extraordinary! I thought you would never care for anything but your painting,--your art, I should say. Art sounds better, doesn't it?"

"How amazing! I thought you would only care about your painting—your art, I mean. Art sounds better, right?"

"He is all my art to me now. I sometimes think, Harry, that there are only two eras of any importance in the history of the world. The first is the appearance of a new medium for art, and the second is the appearance of a new personality for art also. What the invention of oil-painting was to the Venetians, the face of Antinoüs was to late Greek sculpture, and the face of Dorian Gray will some day be to me. It is not merely that I paint from him, draw from him, model from him. Of course I have done all that. He has stood as Paris in dainty armor, and as Adonis with huntsman's cloak and polished boar-spear. Crowned with heavy lotus-blossoms, he has sat on the prow of Adrian's barge, looking into the green, turbid Nile. He has leaned over the still pool of some Greek woodland, and seen in the water's silent silver the wonder of his own beauty. But he is much more to me than that. I won't tell you that I am dissatisfied with what I have done of him, or that his beauty is such that art cannot express it. There is nothing that art cannot express, and I know that the work I have done since I met Dorian Gray is good work, is the best work of my life. But in some curious way--I wonder will you understand me?--his personality has suggested to me an entirely new manner in art, an entirely new mode of style. I see things differently, I think of them differently. I can now re-create life in a way that was hidden from me before. 'A dream of form in days of thought,'--who is it who says that? I forget; but it is what Dorian Gray has been to me. The merely visible presence of this lad,--for he seems to me little more than a lad, though he is really over twenty,--his merely visible presence,--ah! I wonder can you realize all that that means? Unconsciously he defines for me the lines of a fresh school, a school that is to have in itself all the passion of the romantic spirit, all the perfection of the spirit that is Greek. The harmony of soul and body,--how much that is! We in our madness have separated the two, and have invented a realism that is bestial, an ideality that is void. Harry! Harry! if you only knew what Dorian Gray is to me! You remember that landscape of mine, for which Agnew offered me such a huge price, but which I would not part with? It is one of the best things I have ever done. And why is it so? Because, while I was painting it, Dorian Gray sat beside me."

"He is everything to my art now. I sometimes think, Harry, that there are only two important moments in the history of the world. The first is the advent of a new medium for art, and the second is the emergence of a new personality in art as well. What oil painting meant to the Venetians, the face of Antinoüs meant to late Greek sculpture, and the face of Dorian Gray will someday mean to me. It's not just that I paint him, draw him, model him. Of course, I've done all that. He has posed as Paris in elegant armor and as Adonis with a huntsman's cloak and shiny boar spear. Crowned with heavy lotus blooms, he has sat at the front of Adrian's barge, gazing into the murky green Nile. He has leaned over the tranquil pool of some Greek forest and seen his own beauty reflected in the silent silver of the water. But he means much more to me than that. I won't say I'm unhappy with what I've created of him, or that his beauty is so profound that art can't capture it. There's nothing art can't express, and I know that the work I've done since I met Dorian Gray is good work, the best of my life. Yet in some strange way—I wonder if you'll understand me?—his personality has inspired in me a completely new approach to art, a fresh style. I perceive things differently; I think about them differently. I can now bring life to existence in a way I couldn't before. 'A dream of form in days of thought'—who said that? I can't remember; but it's what Dorian Gray has represented for me. The mere presence of this young man—for he seems little more than a young man, even though he's actually over twenty—his mere presence—ah! I wonder if you can grasp what that really means? Unknowingly, he defines for me the contours of a new movement, one that will capture all the passion of the romantic spirit and all the perfection of the Greek spirit. The harmony of soul and body—how significant that is! We have foolishly separated the two and invented a realism that is brutal, and an ideal that is empty. Harry! Harry! if you only knew what Dorian Gray means to me! Do you remember that landscape of mine, for which Agnew offered me a huge sum, but which I refused to sell? It's one of the best pieces I've ever created. And why is that? Because, while I was painting it, Dorian Gray sat beside me."

"Basil, this is quite wonderful! I must see Dorian Gray." Hallward got up from the seat, and walked up and down the [10] garden. After some time he came back. "You don't understand, Harry," he said. "Dorian Gray is merely to me a motive in art. He is never more present in my work than when no image of him is there. He is simply a suggestion, as I have said, of a new manner. I see him in the curves of certain lines, in the loveliness and the subtleties of certain colors. That is all."

"Basil, this is amazing! I have to meet Dorian Gray." Hallward got up from his seat and walked back and forth in the garden. After a while, he returned. "You don't get it, Harry," he said. "Dorian Gray is just a concept for me in art. He’s never more present in my work than when there's no image of him. He’s simply a suggestion, as I mentioned, of a new style. I see him in the curves of certain lines, in the beauty and nuances of certain colors. That’s all."

"Then why won't you exhibit his portrait?"

"Then why won't you show his portrait?"

"Because I have put into it all the extraordinary romance of which, of course, I have never dared to speak to him. He knows nothing about it. He will never know anything about it. But the world might guess it; and I will not bare my soul to their shallow, prying eyes. My heart shall never be put under their microscope. There is too much of myself in the thing, Harry,--too much of myself!"

"Because I've poured all the incredible romance into it that I've never had the courage to share with him. He knows nothing about it. He’ll never find out. But the world might suspect; and I won't expose my soul to their superficial, intrusive gaze. My heart will never be examined under their microscope. There's too much of me in this, Harry—too much of me!"

"Poets are not so scrupulous as you are. They know how useful passion is for publication. Nowadays a broken heart will run to many editions."

"Poets aren't as particular as you are. They understand how valuable passion can be for getting published. These days, a broken heart can lead to multiple editions."

"I hate them for it. An artist should create beautiful things, but should put nothing of his own life into them. We live in an age when men treat art as if it were meant to be a form of autobiography. We have lost the abstract sense of beauty. If I live, I will show the world what it is; and for that reason the world shall never see my portrait of Dorian Gray."

"I hate them for it. An artist should create beautiful things, but should not put anything from their own life into them. We live in a time when people see art as a kind of autobiography. We've lost the pure sense of beauty. If I survive, I will show the world what it is; and because of that, the world will never see my portrait of Dorian Gray."

"I think you are wrong, Basil, but I won't argue with you. It is only the intellectually lost who ever argue. Tell me, is Dorian Gray very fond of you?"

"I think you're mistaken, Basil, but I won't debate it with you. It's only those who are intellectually lost who argue. Tell me, is Dorian Gray really fond of you?"

Hallward considered for a few moments. "He likes me," he answered, after a pause; "I know he likes me. Of course I flatter him dreadfully. I find a strange pleasure in saying things to him that I know I shall be sorry for having said. I give myself away. As a rule, he is charming to me, and we walk home together from the club arm in arm, or sit in the studio and talk of a thousand things. Now and then, however, he is horribly thoughtless, and seems to take a real delight in giving me pain. Then I feel, Harry, that I have given away my whole soul to some one who treats it as if it were a flower to put in his coat, a bit of decoration to charm his vanity, an ornament for a summer's day."

Hallward thought for a moment. "He likes me," he replied after a break; "I know he does. Of course, I flatter him a lot. I get a strange kick out of saying things to him that I know I'll regret later. I open up too much. Usually, he's really charming to me, and we walk home from the club linked arm in arm, or sit in the studio chatting about a thousand topics. But sometimes, he can be incredibly thoughtless and seems to take real pleasure in hurting me. In those moments, Harry, I feel like I’ve given my whole soul to someone who treats it like a flower to stick in his coat, just a decoration to feed his vanity, an ornament for a sunny day."

"Days in summer, Basil, are apt to linger. Perhaps you will tire sooner than he will. It is a sad thing to think of, but there is no doubt that Genius lasts longer than Beauty. That accounts for the fact that we all take such pains to over-educate ourselves. In the wild struggle for existence, we want to have something that endures, and so we fill our minds with rubbish and facts, in the silly hope of keeping our place. The thoroughly well informed man,--that is the modern ideal. And the mind of the thoroughly well informed man is a dreadful thing. It is like a bric-à-brac shop, all monsters and dust, and everything priced above its proper value. I think you will tire first, all the same. Some day you will look at Gray, and he will seem to you to be a little out of drawing, or you won't like his tone of color, or something. You will bitterly reproach him in your own heart, and seriously think that he has behaved very badly to you. The next time he calls, you will be [11] perfectly cold and indifferent. It will be a great pity, for it will alter you. The worst of having a romance is that it leaves one so unromantic."

"Summer days, Basil, tend to drag on. You might get tired before he does. It’s sad to think about, but there’s no doubt that Genius outlasts Beauty. That’s why we go to such lengths to over-educate ourselves. In the fierce fight for survival, we want something that lasts, so we fill our minds with nonsense and information, hoping foolishly to secure our place. The well-informed person—that’s the modern ideal. And the mind of a well-informed person is a terrible thing. It’s like a junk shop, filled with oddities and dust, with everything priced way too high. I think you'll tire first, anyway. One day you’ll look at Gray, and he might seem a bit off to you, or you won’t like his color palette, or something else. You’ll feel a deep resentment toward him in your heart and seriously think he’s treated you poorly. The next time he visits, you’ll be completely cold and indifferent. It’ll be a real shame, because it will change you. The downside of having a romance is that it makes one so unromantic."

"Harry, don't talk like that. As long as I live, the personality of Dorian Gray will dominate me. You can't feel what I feel. You change too often."

"Harry, don’t speak that way. As long as I’m alive, Dorian Gray’s personality will control me. You can’t understand what I feel. You change too frequently."

"Ah, my dear Basil, that is exactly why I can feel it. Those who are faithful know only the pleasures of love: it is the faithless who know love's tragedies." And Lord Henry struck a light on a dainty silver case, and began to smoke a cigarette with a self-conscious and self-satisfied air, as if he had summed up life in a phrase. There was a rustle of chirruping sparrows in the ivy, and the blue cloud-shadows chased themselves across the grass like swallows. How pleasant it was in the garden! And how delightful other people's emotions were!--much more delightful than their ideas, it seemed to him. One's own soul, and the passions of one's friends,--those were the fascinating things in life. He thought with pleasure of the tedious luncheon that he had missed by staying so long with Basil Hallward. Had he gone to his aunt's, he would have been sure to meet Lord Goodbody there, and the whole conversation would have been about the housing of the poor, and the necessity for model lodging-houses. It was charming to have escaped all that! As he thought of his aunt, an idea seemed to strike him. He turned to Hallward, and said, "My dear fellow, I have just remembered."

"Ah, my dear Basil, that’s exactly why I can feel it. Those who are loyal know only the joys of love: it’s the disloyal who understand love’s tragedies." And Lord Henry lit a cigarette from a delicate silver case, smoking with a self-aware and satisfied demeanor, as if he had captured the essence of life in a single phrase. There was a rustle of chirping sparrows in the ivy, and the blue shadows chased each other across the grass like swallows. How lovely it was in the garden! And how wonderful other people's feelings were—much more enjoyable than their ideas, it seemed to him. One's own soul and the passions of one's friends—those were the truly captivating aspects of life. He felt a sense of relief at having skipped the boring luncheon he would have had if he hadn’t stayed so long with Basil Hallward. If he had gone to his aunt’s, he would definitely have run into Lord Goodbody, and the whole discussion would have revolved around housing the poor and the need for model tenements. It was great to have avoided all that! As he thought of his aunt, a thought suddenly came to him. He turned to Hallward and said, "My dear fellow, I just remembered."

"Remembered what, Harry?"

"Remember what, Harry?"

"Where I heard the name of Dorian Gray."

"Where I heard the name Dorian Gray."

"Where was it?" asked Hallward, with a slight frown.

"Where was it?" Hallward asked, frowning slightly.

"Don't look so angry, Basil. It was at my aunt's, Lady Agatha's. She told me she had discovered a wonderful young man, who was going to help her in the East End, and that his name was Dorian Gray. I am bound to state that she never told me he was good-looking. Women have no appreciation of good looks. At least, good women have not. She said that he was very earnest, and had a beautiful nature. I at once pictured to myself a creature with spectacles and lank hair, horridly freckled, and tramping about on huge feet. I wish I had known it was your friend."

"Don't look so angry, Basil. It was at my aunt's, Lady Agatha's. She told me she had found a wonderful young man who was going to help her in the East End, and his name was Dorian Gray. I have to say she never mentioned that he was good-looking. Women just don't appreciate good looks. At least, good women don’t. She said he was very earnest and had a beautiful nature. I immediately pictured some nerdy guy with glasses and lank hair, horrifically freckled, and stomping around on huge feet. I wish I had known he was your friend."

"I am very glad you didn't, Harry."

"I’m really glad you didn’t, Harry."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"I don't want you to meet him."

"I don't want you to meet him."

"Mr. Dorian Gray is in the studio, sir," said the butler, coming into the garden.

"Mr. Dorian Gray is in the studio, sir," the butler said as he walked into the garden.

"You must introduce me now," cried Lord Henry, laughing.

"You need to introduce me now," laughed Lord Henry.

Basil Hallward turned to the servant, who stood blinking in the sunlight. "Ask Mr. Gray to wait, Parker: I will be in in a few moments." The man bowed, and went up the walk.

Basil Hallward turned to the servant, who stood blinking in the sunlight. "Tell Mr. Gray to wait, Parker: I'll be in in a few minutes." The man nodded and went up the path.

Then he looked at Lord Henry. "Dorian Gray is my dearest friend," he said. "He has a simple and a beautiful nature. Your aunt was quite right in what she said of him. Don't spoil him for me. Don't try to influence him. Your influence would be bad. The world is wide, and has many marvellous people in it. Don't take [12] away from me the one person that makes life absolutely lovely to me, and that gives to my art whatever wonder or charm it possesses. Mind, Harry, I trust you." He spoke very slowly, and the words seemed wrung out of him almost against his will.

Then he looked at Lord Henry. "Dorian Gray is my closest friend," he said. "He has a simple and beautiful nature. Your aunt was completely right about him. Don’t ruin him for me. Don’t try to influence him. Your influence would be harmful. The world is vast and has many amazing people in it. Don’t take away from me the one person who makes life truly lovely and gives my art whatever wonder or charm it has. Just remember, Harry, I trust you." He spoke very slowly, and the words seemed to come out of him almost against his will.

"What nonsense you talk!" said Lord Henry, smiling, and, taking Hallward by the arm, he almost led him into the house.

"What nonsense you’re talking!" said Lord Henry, smiling, and, grabbing Hallward by the arm, he nearly pulled him into the house.




CHAPTER II

[...12] As they entered they saw Dorian Gray. He was seated at the piano, with his back to them, turning over the pages of a volume of Schumann's "Forest Scenes." "You must lend me these, Basil," he cried. "I want to learn them. They are perfectly charming."

[...12] As they walked in, they spotted Dorian Gray. He was sitting at the piano, facing away from them, flipping through the pages of a collection of Schumann's "Forest Scenes." "You have to lend me these, Basil," he exclaimed. "I want to learn them. They're absolutely wonderful."

"That entirely depends on how you sit to-day, Dorian."

"That totally depends on how you're sitting today, Dorian."

"Oh, I am tired of sitting, and I don't want a life-sized portrait of myself," answered the lad, swinging round on the music-stool, in a wilful, petulant manner. When he caught sight of Lord Henry, a faint blush colored his cheeks for a moment, and he started up. "I beg your pardon, Basil, but I didn't know you had any one with you."

"Oh, I’m tired of sitting, and I don’t want a life-sized portrait of myself," replied the boy, turning on the music stool with a defiant, sulky attitude. When he noticed Lord Henry, a slight blush appeared on his cheeks for a moment, and he jumped up. "I’m sorry, Basil, but I didn’t realize you had someone with you."

"This is Lord Henry Wotton, Dorian, an old Oxford friend of mine. I have just been telling him what a capital sitter you were, and now you have spoiled everything."

"This is Lord Henry Wotton, Dorian, an old friend of mine from Oxford. I was just telling him what a great model you were, and now you've ruined it all."

"You have not spoiled my pleasure in meeting you, Mr. Gray," said Lord Henry, stepping forward and shaking him by the hand. "My aunt has often spoken to me about you. You are one of her favorites, and, I am afraid, one of her victims also."

"You haven't ruined my enjoyment in meeting you, Mr. Gray," said Lord Henry, stepping forward and shaking his hand. "My aunt has told me about you many times. You're one of her favorites, and, I'm afraid, one of her victims too."

"I am in Lady Agatha's black books at present," answered Dorian, with a funny look of penitence. "I promised to go to her club in Whitechapel with her last Tuesday, and I really forgot all about it. We were to have played a duet together,--three duets, I believe. I don't know what she will say to me. I am far too frightened to call."

"I’m currently in Lady Agatha’s bad books," Dorian replied with a sheepish look. "I promised to go to her club in Whitechapel with her last Tuesday, and I completely forgot about it. We were supposed to play a duet together—actually, three duets, I think. I have no idea how she’ll react. I’m way too scared to call her."

"Oh, I will make your peace with my aunt. She is quite devoted to you. And I don't think it really matters about your not being there. The audience probably thought it was a duet. When Aunt Agatha sits down to the piano she makes quite enough noise for two people."

"Oh, I'll talk to my aunt for you. She really cares about you. And I don’t think it’s a big deal that you weren’t there. The audience probably thought it was a duet. When Aunt Agatha sits down at the piano, she makes enough noise for two people."

"That is very horrid to her, and not very nice to me," answered Dorian, laughing.

"That's really awful for her, and not very nice to me," Dorian replied, laughing.

Lord Henry looked at him. Yes, he was certainly wonderfully handsome, with his finely-curved scarlet lips, his frank blue eyes, his crisp gold hair. There was something in his face that made one trust him at once. All the candor of youth was there, as well as all youth's passionate purity. One felt that he had kept himself unspotted from the world. No wonder Basil Hallward worshipped him. He was made to be worshipped.

Lord Henry looked at him. Yes, he was definitely incredibly handsome, with his perfectly shaped red lips, his honest blue eyes, and his curly gold hair. There was something about his face that made you trust him right away. All the honesty of youth was present, along with all of its passionate innocence. You could tell that he had kept himself untouched by the world. No wonder Basil Hallward idolized him. He was meant to be idolized.

"You are too charming to go in for philanthropy, Mr. Gray,--far too charming." And Lord Henry flung himself down on the divan, and opened his cigarette-case.

"You’re too charming to get involved in charity work, Mr. Gray—way too charming." Lord Henry then threw himself down on the couch and opened his cigarette case.

Hallward had been busy mixing his colors and getting his brushes ready. He was looking worried, and when he heard Lord Henry's last [13] remark he glanced at him, hesitated for a moment, and then said, "Harry, I want to finish this picture to-day. Would you think it awfully rude of me if I asked you to go away?"

Hallward had been busy mixing his paints and preparing his brushes. He looked worried, and when he heard Lord Henry's last comment, he glanced at him, hesitated for a moment, and then said, "Harry, I want to finish this painting today. Would you think it incredibly rude of me if I asked you to leave?"

Lord Henry smiled, and looked at Dorian Gray. "Am I to go, Mr. Gray?" he asked.

Lord Henry smiled and looked at Dorian Gray. "Am I supposed to leave, Mr. Gray?" he asked.

"Oh, please don't, Lord Henry. I see that Basil is in one of his sulky moods; and I can't bear him when he sulks. Besides, I want you to tell me why I should not go in for philanthropy."

"Oh, please don’t, Lord Henry. I can see that Basil is in one of his moody moods, and I can’t stand him when he’s like that. Besides, I want you to explain to me why I shouldn’t get into philanthropy."

"I don't know that I shall tell you that, Mr. Gray. But I certainly will not run away, now that you have asked me to stop. You don't really mind, Basil, do you? You have often told me that you liked your sitters to have some one to chat to."

"I’m not sure I should tell you that, Mr. Gray. But I definitely won’t leave now that you’ve asked me to stay. You don’t really mind, do you, Basil? You’ve often said you prefer your sitters to have someone to talk to."

Hallward bit his lip. "If Dorian wishes it, of course you must stay. Dorian's whims are laws to everybody, except himself."

Hallward bit his lip. "If Dorian wants you to stay, then of course you should. Dorian's wishes are rules for everyone, except him."

Lord Henry took up his hat and gloves. "You are very pressing, Basil, but I am afraid I must go. I have promised to meet a man at the Orleans.--Good-by, Mr. Gray. Come and see me some afternoon in Curzon Street. I am nearly always at home at five o'clock. Write to me when you are coming. I should be sorry to miss you."

Lord Henry picked up his hat and gloves. "You’re quite insistent, Basil, but I’m afraid I have to go. I promised to meet someone at the Orleans. Goodbye, Mr. Gray. Come visit me one afternoon on Curzon Street. I'm usually home at five o'clock. Just drop me a note when you plan to come. I'd hate to miss you."

"Basil," cried Dorian Gray, "if Lord Henry goes I shall go too. You never open your lips while you are painting, and it is horribly dull standing on a platform and trying to look pleasant. Ask him to stay. I insist upon it."

"Basil," Dorian Gray exclaimed, "if Lord Henry leaves, then I’m leaving too. You never say a word while you’re painting, and it’s incredibly boring standing there trying to look pleasant. Ask him to stay. I’m insisting on it."

"Stay, Harry, to oblige Dorian, and to oblige me," said Hallward, gazing intently at his picture. "It is quite true, I never talk when I am working, and never listen either, and it must be dreadfully tedious for my unfortunate sitters. I beg you to stay."

"Please stay, Harry, to make Dorian happy and to help me," Hallward said, staring intently at his painting. "It's true that I never talk when I'm working, and I don't listen either, which must be incredibly boring for my poor sitters. I really ask you to stay."

"But what about my man at the Orleans?"

"But what about my guy at the Orleans?"

Hallward laughed. "I don't think there will be any difficulty about that. Sit down again, Harry.--And now, Dorian, get up on the platform, and don't move about too much, or pay any attention to what Lord Henry says. He has a very bad influence over all his friends, with the exception of myself."

Hallward laughed. "I don't think there will be any problem with that. Sit down again, Harry. --And now, Dorian, get up on the platform and try not to move around too much, or pay attention to what Lord Henry says. He has a really bad influence on all his friends, except for me."

Dorian stepped up on the dais, with the air of a young Greek martyr, and made a little moue of discontent to Lord Henry, to whom he had rather taken a fancy. He was so unlike Hallward. They made a delightful contrast. And he had such a beautiful voice. After a few moments he said to him, "Have you really a very bad influence, Lord Henry? As bad as Basil says?"

Dorian stepped up on the platform, with the demeanor of a young Greek martyr, and made a slight face of discontent at Lord Henry, whom he had taken a liking to. He was so different from Hallward. They created a lovely contrast. And he had such a beautiful voice. After a few moments, he asked him, "Do you really have a terrible influence, Lord Henry? Is it as bad as Basil says?"

"There is no such thing as a good influence, Mr. Gray. All influence is immoral,--immoral from the scientific point of view."

"There’s no such thing as a good influence, Mr. Gray. All influence is immoral—immoral from a scientific perspective."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Because to influence a person is to give him one's own soul. He does not think his natural thoughts, or burn with his natural passions. His virtues are not real to him. His sins, if there are such things as sins, are borrowed. He becomes an echo of some one else's music, an actor of a part that has not been written for him. The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly,--that is what each of us is here for. People are afraid of themselves, nowadays. They have forgotten the highest of all duties, the duty that one owes to one's [14] self. Of course they are charitable. They feed the hungry, and clothe the beggar. But their own souls starve, and are naked. Courage has gone out of our race. Perhaps we never really had it. The terror of society, which is the basis of morals, the terror of God, which is the secret of religion,--these are the two things that govern us. And yet--"

"To influence someone is to give them a piece of your soul. They don't think their own thoughts or feel their own passions. Their virtues don't feel genuine to them. Their sins, if they even believe in sins, are borrowed from others. They become an echo of someone else's music, an actor playing a role that wasn't written for them. The purpose of life is self-development. Each of us is here to fully realize our true nature. People today are afraid of themselves. They've forgotten the most important duty: the duty to oneself. Sure, they're charitable. They feed the hungry and clothe the homeless. But their own souls are starving and bare. We've lost our courage. Maybe we never truly had it. The fear of society, which shapes our morals, and the fear of God, which is at the heart of religion—these are the two forces that control us. And yet—"

"Just turn your head a little more to the right, Dorian, like a good boy," said Hallward, deep in his work, and conscious only that a look had come into the lad's face that he had never seen there before.

"Just tilt your head a bit more to the right, Dorian, like a good boy," Hallward said, focused on his work, only noticing that a look had appeared on the boy's face that he had never seen before.

"And yet," continued Lord Henry, in his low, musical voice, and with that graceful wave of the hand that was always so characteristic of him, and that he had even in his Eton days, "I believe that if one man were to live his life out fully and completely, were to give form to every feeling, expression to every thought, reality to every dream,--I believe that the world would gain such a fresh impulse of joy that we would forget all the maladies of mediaevalism, and return to the Hellenic ideal,--to something finer, richer, than the Hellenic ideal, it may be. But the bravest man among us is afraid of himself. The mutilation of the savage has its tragic survival in the self-denial that mars our lives. We are punished for our refusals. Every impulse that we strive to strangle broods in the mind, and poisons us. The body sins once, and has done with its sin, for action is a mode of purification. Nothing remains then but the recollection of a pleasure, or the luxury of a regret. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful. It has been said that the great events of the world take place in the brain. It is in the brain, and the brain only, that the great sins of the world take place also. You, Mr. Gray, you yourself, with your rose-red youth and your rose-white boyhood, you have had passions that have made you afraid, thoughts that have filled you with terror, day-dreams and sleeping dreams whose mere memory might stain your cheek with shame--"

"And yet," continued Lord Henry, in his soft, melodic voice, and with that graceful wave of his hand that was always so typical of him, which he had even in his Eton days, "I believe that if one person were to live their life fully and completely, to give shape to every feeling, express every thought, and bring every dream to life, I believe the world would receive such a fresh burst of joy that we would forget all the problems of medieval times and return to the Hellenic ideal—perhaps even to something finer and richer than the Hellenic ideal. But the bravest among us is afraid of themselves. The mutilation of the savage has its tragic echo in the self-denial that tarnishes our lives. We are punished for what we refuse. Every impulse we try to suppress lingers in the mind and poisons us. The body sins once and is done with its sin, as action is a form of purification. What remains then is just the memory of a pleasure or the weight of a regret. The only way to escape a temptation is to give in to it. Resist it, and your soul becomes sick with longing for what it has forbidden itself, yearning for what its monstrous rules have made monstrous and illegal. It has been said that the major events of the world happen in the mind. It is within the mind, and only in the mind, that the world's great sins also occur. You, Mr. Gray, you yourself, with your vibrant youth and your pure boyhood, you have had passions that have terrified you, thoughts that have filled you with dread, daydreams and night dreams whose mere memory might cause your cheeks to flush with shame—"

"Stop!" murmured Dorian Gray, "stop! you bewilder me. I don't know what to say. There is some answer to you, but I cannot find it. Don't speak. Let me think, or, rather, let me try not to think."

"Stop!" Dorian Gray whispered, "stop! You’re confusing me. I don’t know what to say. There’s a response to you, but I can’t figure it out. Don’t say anything. Let me think, or, really, let me try not to think."

For nearly ten minutes he stood there motionless, with parted lips, and eyes strangely bright. He was dimly conscious that entirely fresh impulses were at work within him, and they seemed to him to have come really from himself. The few words that Basil's friend had said to him--words spoken by chance, no doubt, and with wilful paradox in them--had yet touched some secret chord, that had never been touched before, but that he felt was now vibrating and throbbing to curious pulses.

For nearly ten minutes, he stood there without moving, with his lips slightly parted and his eyes unusually bright. He was vaguely aware that new feelings were stirring inside him, and they felt like they genuinely came from him. The few words that Basil's friend had said—words likely spoken randomly and with a deliberate contradiction—had somehow struck a hidden chord within him that had never been touched before, but he felt it was now resonating and pulsing with unusual energy.

Music had stirred him like that. Music had troubled him many times. But music was not articulate. It was not a new world, but rather a new chaos, that it created in us. Words! Mere words! How terrible they were! How clear, and vivid, and cruel! One could not escape from them. And yet what a subtle magic there was in them! [15] They seemed to be able to give a plastic form to formless things, and to have a music of their own as sweet as that of viol or of lute. Mere words! Was there anything so real as words?

Music had always moved him like that. Music had troubled him many times. But music wasn’t clear-cut. It didn’t create a new world; it created a new chaos within us. Words! Just words! How awful they were! How clear, vivid, and harsh! You couldn’t escape them. And yet, there was such a subtle magic in them! They seemed to shape formless things and had a sweet music of their own, just like a violin or a lute. Just words! Was there anything more real than words?

Yes; there had been things in his boyhood that he had not understood. He understood them now. Life suddenly became fiery-colored to him. It seemed to him that he had been walking in fire. Why had he not known it?

Yes; there had been things in his childhood that he had not understood. He understands them now. Life suddenly appeared vibrant and intense to him. It felt like he had been walking through fire. Why hadn’t he realized it?

Lord Henry watched him, with his sad smile. He knew the precise psychological moment when to say nothing. He felt intensely interested. He was amazed at the sudden impression that his words had produced, and, remembering a book that he had read when he was sixteen, which had revealed to him much that he had not known before, he wondered whether Dorian Gray was passing through the same experience. He had merely shot an arrow into the air. Had it hit the mark? How fascinating the lad was!

Lord Henry watched him with a sad smile. He understood exactly when it was best to stay silent. He was deeply intrigued. He was surprised by the sudden impact his words had made, and remembering a book he had read at sixteen that had opened his eyes to so much he hadn't known before, he wondered if Dorian Gray was having a similar experience. He had just tossed an arrow into the air. Had it hit the target? How captivating the young man was!

Hallward painted away with that marvellous bold touch of his, that had the true refinement and perfect delicacy that come only from strength. He was unconscious of the silence.

Hallward painted with that incredible boldness of his, which had the genuine refinement and perfect delicacy that only comes from strength. He was unaware of the silence.

"Basil, I am tired of standing," cried Dorian Gray, suddenly. "I must go out and sit in the garden. The air is stifling here."

"Basil, I'm tired of standing," Dorian Gray suddenly exclaimed. "I need to go out and sit in the garden. The air is suffocating in here."

"My dear fellow, I am so sorry. When I am painting, I can't think of anything else. But you never sat better. You were perfectly still. And I have caught the effect I wanted,--the half-parted lips, and the bright look in the eyes. I don't know what Harry has been saying to you, but he has certainly made you have the most wonderful expression. I suppose he has been paying you compliments. You mustn't believe a word that he says."

"My dear friend, I’m really sorry. When I’m painting, I can’t focus on anything else. But you were an amazing model. You stayed perfectly still. I’ve captured the effect I was aiming for—the slightly parted lips and the bright look in your eyes. I’m not sure what Harry has been saying to you, but he’s definitely made you have the most wonderful expression. I guess he’s been giving you compliments. You shouldn’t believe a word he says."

"He has certainly not been paying me compliments. Perhaps that is the reason I don't think I believe anything he has told me."

"He definitely hasn't been complimenting me. Maybe that's why I don't think I believe anything he told me."

"You know you believe it all," said Lord Henry, looking at him with his dreamy, heavy-lidded eyes. "I will go out to the garden with you. It is horridly hot in the studio.--Basil, let us have something iced to drink, something with strawberries in it."

"You know you believe it all," said Lord Henry, gazing at him with his dreamy, heavy-lidded eyes. "I'll head out to the garden with you. It's ridiculously hot in the studio. --Basil, let’s get something cold to drink, something with strawberries in it."

"Certainly, Harry. Just touch the bell, and when Parker comes I will tell him what you want. I have got to work up this background, so I will join you later on. Don't keep Dorian too long. I have never been in better form for painting than I am to-day. This is going to be my masterpiece. It is my masterpiece as it stands."

"Sure, Harry. Just ring the bell, and when Parker gets here, I’ll let him know what you need. I have to work on this background, so I’ll catch up with you later. Don’t hold Dorian too long. I’ve never felt more ready to paint than I do today. This is going to be my masterpiece. Honestly, it’s my masterpiece as it is."

Lord Henry went out to the garden, and found Dorian Gray burying his face in the great cool lilac-blossoms, feverishly drinking in their perfume as if it had been wine. He came close to him, and put his hand upon his shoulder. "You are quite right to do that," he murmured. "Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul."

Lord Henry stepped into the garden and found Dorian Gray burying his face in the large, cool lilac blossoms, eagerly inhaling their fragrance as if it were wine. He approached him and placed his hand on his shoulder. "You're absolutely right to do that," he said softly. "Nothing can heal the soul except the senses, just as nothing can heal the senses except the soul."

The lad started and drew back. He was bareheaded, and the leaves had tossed his rebellious curls and tangled all their gilded threads. There was a look of fear in his eyes, such as people have when they are suddenly awakened. His finely-chiselled nostrils quivered, and some hidden nerve shook the scarlet of his lips and left them trembling.

The boy jumped back. He was hatless, and the leaves had messed up his wild curls, tangling all their golden strands. There was a look of fear in his eyes, like people have when they're suddenly woken up. His sharply defined nostrils quivered, and some unseen nerve made his red lips tremble.

[16] "Yes," continued Lord Henry, "that is one of the great secrets of life,--to cure the soul by means of the senses, and the senses by means of the soul. You are a wonderful creature. You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know."

[16] "Yes," Lord Henry went on, "that's one of the big secrets of life—to heal the soul through the senses, and the senses through the soul. You're an amazing person. You understand more than you realize, just like you understand less than you'd like to."

Dorian Gray frowned and turned his head away. He could not help liking the tall, graceful young man who was standing by him. His romantic olive-colored face and worn expression interested him. There was something in his low, languid voice that was absolutely fascinating. His cool, white, flower-like hands, even, had a curious charm. They moved, as he spoke, like music, and seemed to have a language of their own. But he felt afraid of him, and ashamed of being afraid. Why had it been left for a stranger to reveal him to himself? He had known Basil Hallward for months, but the friendship between then had never altered him. Suddenly there had come some one across his life who seemed to have disclosed to him life's mystery. And, yet, what was there to be afraid of? He was not a school-boy, or a girl. It was absurd to be frightened.

Dorian Gray frowned and turned his head away. He couldn’t help but like the tall, graceful young man standing next to him. His romantic olive-toned face and weary expression intrigued him. There was something about his soft, languid voice that was completely captivating. Even his cool, white, flower-like hands had a strange charm. They moved like music as he spoke and seemed to have a language of their own. But Dorian felt afraid of him and ashamed for being afraid. Why had it taken a stranger to help him see himself? He had known Basil Hallward for months, but their friendship had never changed him. Suddenly, someone had come into his life who seemed to reveal the mystery of existence to him. And, yet, what was there to be afraid of? He wasn’t a schoolboy or a girl. It was ridiculous to be scared.

"Let us go and sit in the shade," said Lord Henry. "Parker has brought out the drinks, and if you stay any longer in this glare you will be quite spoiled, and Basil will never paint you again. You really must not let yourself become sunburnt. It would be very unbecoming to you."

"Let's go sit in the shade," Lord Henry said. "Parker has brought the drinks out, and if you stay in this bright light any longer, you'll really get burned, and Basil will never paint you again. You really shouldn't let yourself get sunburned. It wouldn't suit you at all."

"What does it matter?" cried Dorian, laughing, as he sat down on the seat at the end of the garden.

"What does it matter?" Dorian exclaimed, laughing as he took a seat at the end of the garden.

"It should matter everything to you, Mr. Gray."

"It should all matter to you, Mr. Gray."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Because you have now the most marvellous youth, and youth is the one thing worth having."

"Because you now have the most amazing youth, and youth is the one thing that's truly worth having."

"I don't feel that, Lord Henry."

"I don't feel that way, Lord Henry."

"No, you don't feel it now. Some day, when you are old and wrinkled and ugly, when thought has seared your forehead with its lines, and passion branded your lips with its hideous fires, you will feel it, you will feel it terribly. Now, wherever you go, you charm the world. Will it always be so?

"No, you don’t feel it now. Someday, when you’re old and wrinkled and unattractive, when your forehead is marked by the lines of thought, and your lips bear the scars of passion’s ugly flames, you will feel it, you will feel it deeply. Right now, wherever you go, you enchant the world. Will it always be like this?"

"You have a wonderfully beautiful face, Mr. Gray. Don't frown. You have. And Beauty is a form of Genius,--is higher, indeed, than Genius, as it needs no explanation. It is one of the great facts of the world, like sunlight, or spring-time, or the reflection in dark waters of that silver shell we call the moon. It cannot be questioned. It has its divine right of sovereignty. It makes princes of those who have it. You smile? Ah! when you have lost it you won't smile.

"You have a beautifully stunning face, Mr. Gray. Don't frown. You really do. And beauty is a form of genius—it’s actually higher than genius because it doesn’t need an explanation. It's one of the great truths of the world, like sunlight, or springtime, or the reflection of that silver shell we call the moon in dark waters. It’s undeniable. It has its divine right to rule. It turns those who possess it into princes. You smile? Ah! When you lose it, you won’t be smiling."

"People say sometimes that Beauty is only superficial. That may be so. But at least it is not so superficial as Thought. To me, Beauty is the wonder of wonders. It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.

"Some people say that beauty is just skin deep. That might be true. But at least it’s not as shallow as thought. To me, beauty is truly remarkable. Only shallow people fail to judge by appearances. The real mystery of the world is in what you can see, not what you can’t."

"Yes, Mr. Gray, the gods have been good to you. But what the gods give they quickly take away. You have only a few years in which really to live. When your youth goes, your beauty will go with it, and then you will suddenly discover that there are no triumphs left [17] for you, or have to content yourself with those mean triumphs that the memory of your past will make more bitter than defeats. Every month as it wanes brings you nearer to something dreadful. Time is jealous of you, and wars against your lilies and your roses. You will become sallow, and hollow-cheeked, and dull-eyed. You will suffer horribly.

"Yes, Mr. Gray, the gods have been good to you. But what the gods give, they quickly take away. You only have a few years to really live. When your youth fades, your beauty will fade with it, and then you'll suddenly realize that there are no successes left for you, or you'll have to settle for those small victories that the memory of your past will make feel more painful than failures. Every month that passes brings you closer to something terrible. Time is envious of you and fights against your lilies and your roses. You will become pale, hollow-cheeked, and dull-eyed. You will suffer greatly."

"Realize your youth while you have it. Don't squander the gold of your days, listening to the tedious, trying to improve the hopeless failure, or giving away your life to the ignorant, the common, and the vulgar, which are the aims, the false ideals, of our age. Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.

"Appreciate your youth while you have it. Don't waste the precious days of your life trying to fix the hopeless or giving your time to the ignorant, the ordinary, and the shallow, which are the misguided goals of our time. Live! Embrace the amazing life inside you! Don't let anything pass you by. Always seek out new experiences. Fear nothing."

"A new hedonism,--that is what our century wants. You might be its visible symbol. With your personality there is nothing you could not do. The world belongs to you for a season.

"A new hedonism—that's what our century needs. You could be its visible symbol. With your personality, there's nothing you can't achieve. The world is yours for a while."

"The moment I met you I saw that you were quite unconscious of what you really are, what you really might be. There was so much about you that charmed me that I felt I must tell you something about yourself. I thought how tragic it would be if you were wasted. For there is such a little time that your youth will last,--such a little time.

"The moment I met you, I realized you had no idea who you really are or who you could become. There was so much about you that captivated me that I felt I had to share something about yourself with you. I thought about how sad it would be if your potential went to waste. Because your youth lasts such a short time—just a little time."

"The common hill-flowers wither, but they blossom again. The laburnum will be as golden next June as it is now. In a month there will be purple stars on the clematis, and year after year the green night of its leaves will have its purple stars. But we never get back our youth. The pulse of joy that beats in us at twenty, becomes sluggish. Our limbs fail, our senses rot. We degenerate into hideous puppets, haunted by the memory of the passions of which we were too much afraid, and the exquisite temptations that we did not dare to yield to. Youth! Youth! There is absolutely nothing in the world but youth!"

The common hill flowers fade, but they bloom again. The laburnum will be just as golden next June as it is now. In a month, there will be purple stars on the clematis, and year after year, the green night of its leaves will have those purple stars. But we never get our youth back. The thrill of joy that we feel at twenty becomes dull. Our bodies weaken, our senses fade. We turn into ugly puppets, haunted by the memories of the passions we were too afraid to pursue and the tempting desires we didn't dare to give in to. Youth! Youth! There is absolutely nothing in the world but youth!

Dorian Gray listened, open-eyed and wondering. The spray of lilac fell from his hand upon the gravel. A furry bee came and buzzed round it for a moment. Then it began to scramble all over the fretted purple of the tiny blossoms. He watched it with that strange interest in trivial things that we try to develop when things of high import make us afraid, or when we are stirred by some new emotion, for which we cannot find expression, or when some thought that terrifies us lays sudden siege to the brain and calls on us to yield. After a time it flew away. He saw it creeping into the stained trumpet of a Tyrian convolvulus. The flower seemed to quiver, and then swayed gently to and fro.

Dorian Gray watched, wide-eyed and curious. The lilac he was holding dropped onto the gravel. A fuzzy bee buzzed around it for a moment. Then it started to crawl all over the delicate purple of the small blossoms. He observed it with that peculiar fascination for small things that we tend to cultivate when important matters make us anxious, or when we are moved by a new feeling that we can't articulate, or when a frightening thought suddenly attacks our mind and demands our attention. After a while, it flew away. He saw it crawling into the stained opening of a purple morning glory. The flower seemed to tremble and then moved gently back and forth.

Suddenly Hallward appeared at the door of the studio, and made frantic signs for them to come in. They turned to each other, and smiled.

Suddenly, Hallward showed up at the door of the studio, making frantic gestures for them to come inside. They turned to each other and smiled.

"I am waiting," cried Hallward. "Do come in. The light is quite perfect, and you can bring your drinks."

"I’m waiting," Hallward shouted. "Please come in. The light is just right, and you can bring your drinks."

They rose up, and sauntered down the walk together. Two green-and-white butterflies fluttered past them, and in the pear-tree at the end of the garden a thrush began to sing.

They got up and strolled down the path together. Two green-and-white butterflies flew by, and in the pear tree at the end of the garden, a thrush started to sing.

"You are glad you have met me, Mr. Gray," said Lord Henry, looking at him.

"You’re glad you met me, Mr. Gray," Lord Henry said, looking at him.

"Yes, I am glad now. I wonder shall I always be glad?"

"Yes, I'm happy now. I wonder if I'll always be happy?"

[18] "Always! That is a dreadful word. It makes me shudder when I hear it. Women are so fond of using it. They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever. It is a meaningless word, too. The only difference between a caprice and a life-long passion is that the caprice lasts a little longer."

[18] "Always! That’s such a terrible word. It gives me chills when I hear it. Women love to use it. They ruin every romance by trying to make it last forever. It's also a meaningless word. The only difference between a fling and a life-long passion is that the fling lasts a bit longer."

As they entered the studio, Dorian Gray put his hand upon Lord Henry's arm. "In that case, let our friendship be a caprice," he murmured, flushing at his own boldness, then stepped upon the platform and resumed his pose.

As they walked into the studio, Dorian Gray placed his hand on Lord Henry's arm. "In that case, let our friendship be a whim," he said softly, feeling a rush of confidence at his own daring, then stepped onto the platform and returned to his pose.

Lord Henry flung himself into a large wicker arm-chair, and watched him. The sweep and dash of the brush on the canvas made the only sound that broke the stillness, except when Hallward stepped back now and then to look at his work from a distance. In the slanting beams that streamed through the open door-way the dust danced and was golden. The heavy scent of the roses seemed to brood over everything.

Lord Henry threw himself into a big wicker armchair and watched him. The sweep and flair of the brush on the canvas was the only sound that disrupted the silence, except when Hallward occasionally stepped back to look at his work from afar. In the angled beams of light coming through the open doorway, the dust floated and sparkled like gold. The strong scent of the roses seemed to linger over everything.

After about a quarter of an hour, Hallward stopped painting, looked for a long time at Dorian Gray, and then for a long time at the picture, biting the end of one of his huge brushes, and smiling. "It is quite finished," he cried, at last, and stooping down he wrote his name in thin vermilion letters on the left-hand corner of the canvas.

After about fifteen minutes, Hallward stopped painting, gazed at Dorian Gray for a long time, then at the picture, biting the end of one of his large brushes and smiling. "It's completely finished," he exclaimed finally, and bending down, he wrote his name in thin red letters in the bottom left corner of the canvas.

Lord Henry came over and examined the picture. It was certainly a wonderful work of art, and a wonderful likeness as well.

Lord Henry came over and took a look at the painting. It was definitely an amazing piece of art and a remarkable likeness too.

"My dear fellow, I congratulate you most warmly," he said.--"Mr. Gray, come and look at yourself."

"My dear friend, I want to congratulate you warmly," he said. --"Mr. Gray, come check yourself out."

The lad started, as if awakened from some dream. "Is it really finished?" he murmured, stepping down from the platform.

The guy jumped, as if coming out of a dream. "Is it really over?" he whispered, stepping down from the platform.

"Quite finished," said Hallward. "And you have sat splendidly to-day. I am awfully obliged to you."

"All done," said Hallward. "And you posed wonderfully today. I really appreciate it."

"That is entirely due to me," broke in Lord Henry. "Isn't it, Mr. Gray?"

"That's all my doing," interrupted Lord Henry. "Right, Mr. Gray?"

Dorian made no answer, but passed listlessly in front of his picture and turned towards it. When he saw it he drew back, and his cheeks flushed for a moment with pleasure. A look of joy came into his eyes, as if he had recognized himself for the first time. He stood there motionless, and in wonder, dimly conscious that Hallward was speaking to him, but not catching the meaning of his words. The sense of his own beauty came on him like a revelation. He had never felt it before. Basil Hallward's compliments had seemed to him to be merely the charming exaggerations of friendship. He had listened to them, laughed at them, forgotten them. They had not influenced his nature. Then had come Lord Henry, with his strange panegyric on youth, his terrible warning of its brevity. That had stirred him at the time, and now, as he stood gazing at the shadow of his own loveliness, the full reality of the description flashed across him. Yes, there would be a day when his face would be wrinkled and wizen, his eyes dim and colorless, the grace of his figure broken and deformed. The scarlet would pass away from his lips, and the gold steal from his hair. The life that was to make his soul would mar his body. He would become ignoble, hideous, and uncouth.

Dorian didn’t reply but walked slowly past his portrait and turned to look at it. When he saw it, he stepped back, and his cheeks briefly flushed with pleasure. A look of joy appeared in his eyes, as if he was seeing himself for the first time. He stood there frozen, amazed, vaguely aware that Hallward was talking to him but not really understanding what he was saying. The realization of his own beauty hit him like a revelation. He had never truly felt it before. Basil Hallward's compliments had always seemed like the charming exaggerations of a friend. He had listened to them, laughed off the praise, and forgotten it. They hadn’t affected his nature. Then came Lord Henry, with his odd praise of youth and his stark warning about its fleeting nature. That had stirred him then, and now, as he gazed at the shadow of his own beauty, the full weight of the description hit him. Yes, there would come a time when his face would be wrinkled and gaunt, his eyes dull and colorless, the grace of his figure marred and deformed. The red would fade from his lips, and the gold would leave his hair. The life that would enrich his soul would ruin his body. He would become base, ugly, and awkward.

[19] As he thought of it, a sharp pang of pain struck like a knife across him, and made each delicate fibre of his nature quiver. His eyes deepened into amethyst, and a mist of tears came across them. He felt as if a hand of ice had been laid upon his heart.

[19] As he thought about it, a sharp pang of pain hit him like a knife, making every delicate part of his being tremble. His eyes turned a deep amethyst, and a mist of tears filled his gaze. He felt as though a hand of ice had been placed on his heart.

"Don't you like it?" cried Hallward at last, stung a little by the lad's silence, and not understanding what it meant.

"Don't you like it?" Hallward finally exclaimed, a bit hurt by the boy's silence and confused about what it meant.

"Of course he likes it," said Lord Henry. "Who wouldn't like it? It is one of the greatest things in modern art. I will give you anything you like to ask for it. I must have it."

"Of course he likes it," Lord Henry said. "Who wouldn't like it? It's one of the greatest things in modern art. I'll give you whatever you want for it. I have to have it."

"It is not my property, Harry."

"It’s not my stuff, Harry."

"Whose property is it?"

"Whose is it?"

"Dorian's, of course."

"Dorian's, obviously."

"He is a very lucky fellow."

"He's super lucky."

"How sad it is!" murmured Dorian Gray, with his eyes still fixed upon his own portrait. "How sad it is! I shall grow old, and horrid, and dreadful. But this picture will remain always young. It will never be older than this particular day of June. . . . If it was only the other way! If it was I who were to be always young, and the picture that were to grow old! For this--for this--I would give everything! Yes, there is nothing in the whole world I would not give!"

"How sad this is!" murmured Dorian Gray, his gaze still fixed on his own portrait. "How sad this is! I will grow old, and terrible, and dreadful. But this picture will always stay young. It will never be older than this particular day in June. . . . If only it were the other way around! If I could be the one who stays young, and the picture that grows old! For this—this—I would give everything! Yes, there is nothing in the whole world I wouldn't give!"

"You would hardly care for that arrangement, Basil," cried Lord Henry, laughing. "It would be rather hard lines on you."

"You probably wouldn't be into that setup, Basil," Lord Henry said, laughing. "It would be pretty rough for you."

"I should object very strongly, Harry."

"I really have to strongly object, Harry."

Dorian Gray turned and looked at him. "I believe you would, Basil. You like your art better than your friends. I am no more to you than a green bronze figure. Hardly as much, I dare say."

Dorian Gray turned to look at him. "I think you would, Basil. You care more about your art than your friends. I'm nothing more to you than a green bronze statue. Probably less, I'd say."

Hallward stared in amazement. It was so unlike Dorian to speak like that. What had happened? He seemed almost angry. His face was flushed and his cheeks burning.

Hallward stared in shock. It was so unlike Dorian to talk like that. What had happened? He almost seemed angry. His face was flushed and his cheeks were burning.

"Yes," he continued, "I am less to you than your ivory Hermes or your silver Faun. You will like them always. How long will you like me? Till I have my first wrinkle, I suppose. I know, now, that when one loses one's good looks, whatever they may be, one loses everything. Your picture has taught me that. Lord Henry is perfectly right. Youth is the only thing worth having. When I find that I am growing old, I will kill myself."

"Yes," he went on, "I'm worth less to you than your ivory Hermes or your silver Faun. You'll always prefer them. How long will you actually like me? Until I get my first wrinkle, I guess. I realize now that when you lose your good looks, whatever they are, you lose everything. Your picture has taught me that. Lord Henry is absolutely right. Youth is the only thing that truly matters. When I see that I'm getting old, I'll end my life."

Hallward turned pale, and caught his hand. "Dorian! Dorian!" he cried, "don't talk like that. I have never had such a friend as you, and I shall never have such another. You are not jealous of material things, are you?"

Hallward turned pale and grabbed his hand. "Dorian! Dorian!" he cried, "don't say things like that. I've never had a friend like you, and I don't think I ever will again. You're not jealous of material things, are you?"

"I am jealous of everything whose beauty does not die. I am jealous of the portrait you have painted of me. Why should it keep what I must lose? Every moment that passes takes something from me, and gives something to it. Oh, if it was only the other way! If the picture could change, and I could be always what I am now! Why did you paint it? It will mock me some day,--mock me horribly!" The hot tears welled into his eyes; he tore his hand away, and, flinging himself on the divan, he buried his face in the cushions, as if he was praying.

"I'm jealous of everything whose beauty doesn't fade. I'm jealous of the portrait you painted of me. Why should it remain perfect while I have to lose my beauty? Every moment that goes by takes something from me and gives it to the painting. Oh, if only it was the other way around! If the picture could change, and I could stay exactly as I am now! Why did you paint it? It will mock me someday—mock me dreadfully!" The hot tears filled his eyes; he yanked his hand away and, throwing himself on the couch, buried his face in the cushions as if he were praying.

"This is your doing, Harry," said Hallward, bitterly.

"This is your fault, Harry," Hallward said, bitterly.

[20] "My doing?"

"My bad?"

"Yes, yours, and you know it."

"Yes, it’s yours, and you know it."

Lord Henry shrugged his shoulders. "It is the real Dorian Gray,--that is all," he answered.

Lord Henry shrugged. "It's the real Dorian Gray—that's all," he replied.

"It is not."

"Nope."

"If it is not, what have I to do with it?"

"If it's not, what do I have to do with it?"

"You should have gone away when I asked you."

"You should have left when I asked you to."

"I stayed when you asked me."

"I stayed when you asked me to."

"Harry, I can't quarrel with my two best friends at once, but between you both you have made me hate the finest piece of work I have ever done, and I will destroy it. What is it but canvas and color? I will not let it come across our three lives and mar them."

"Harry, I can't argue with my two best friends at the same time, but between the two of you, you've made me dislike the best piece of work I've ever created, and I will destroy it. What is it but canvas and color? I won't let it interfere with our lives and ruin them."

Dorian Gray lifted his golden head from the pillow, and looked at him with pallid face and tear-stained eyes, as he walked over to the deal painting-table that was set beneath the large curtained window. What was he doing there? His fingers were straying about among the litter of tin tubes and dry brushes, seeking for something. Yes, it was the long palette-knife, with its thin blade of lithe steel. He had found it at last. He was going to rip up the canvas.

Dorian Gray lifted his golden head from the pillow and looked at him with a pale face and tear-stained eyes as he walked over to the makeshift painting table set beneath the large curtained window. What was he doing there? His fingers were wandering among the mess of tin tubes and dry brushes, searching for something. Yes, it was the long palette knife with its thin, flexible blade. He had finally found it. He was going to tear up the canvas.

With a stifled sob he leaped from the couch, and, rushing over to Hallward, tore the knife out of his hand, and flung it to the end of the studio. "Don't, Basil, don't!" he cried. "It would be murder!"

With a suppressed sob, he jumped off the couch and rushed over to Hallward, snatching the knife from his hand and throwing it across the studio. "Don't, Basil, please!" he exclaimed. "That would be murder!"

"I am glad you appreciate my work at last, Dorian," said Hallward, coldly, when he had recovered from his surprise. "I never thought you would."

"I’m glad you finally appreciate my work, Dorian," Hallward said coldly, once he had gotten over his surprise. "I never thought you would."

"Appreciate it? I am in love with it, Basil. It is part of myself, I feel that."

"Appreciate it? I love it, Basil. It's a part of me, I really feel that."

"Well, as soon as you are dry, you shall be varnished, and framed, and sent home. Then you can do what you like with yourself." And he walked across the room and rang the bell for tea. "You will have tea, of course, Dorian? And so will you, Harry? Tea is the only simple pleasure left to us."

"Well, as soon as you’re dry, you’ll be varnished, framed, and sent home. Then you can do whatever you want with yourself." He walked across the room and rang the bell for tea. "You’ll have tea, of course, Dorian? And so will you, Harry? Tea is the only simple pleasure we have left."

"I don't like simple pleasures," said Lord Henry. "And I don't like scenes, except on the stage. What absurd fellows you are, both of you! I wonder who it was defined man as a rational animal. It was the most premature definition ever given. Man is many things, but he is not rational. I am glad he is not, after all: though I wish you chaps would not squabble over the picture. You had much better let me have it, Basil. This silly boy doesn't really want it, and I do."

"I don’t enjoy simple pleasures," Lord Henry said. "And I only like performances when they’re on stage. You two are ridiculous! I wonder who first called man a rational animal. That was the most hasty definition ever made. Man is a lot of things, but rational isn’t one of them. Honestly, I’m glad he’s not, but I wish you guys wouldn’t argue over the painting. You’d be better off letting me have it, Basil. This foolish kid doesn’t actually want it, but I do."

"If you let any one have it but me, Basil, I will never forgive you!" cried Dorian Gray. "And I don't allow people to call me a silly boy."

"If you let anyone else have it but me, Basil, I will never forgive you!" Dorian Gray shouted. "And I won't let people call me a silly boy."

"You know the picture is yours, Dorian. I gave it to you before it existed."

"You know the picture belongs to you, Dorian. I gave it to you before it was even created."

"And you know you have been a little silly, Mr. Gray, and that you don't really mind being called a boy."

"And you know you've been a bit silly, Mr. Gray, and that you don't actually mind being called a boy."

"I should have minded very much this morning, Lord Henry."

"I should have really cared this morning, Lord Henry."

"Ah! this morning! You have lived since then."

"Ah! this morning! You’ve lived since then."

There came a knock to the door, and the butler entered with the tea-tray and set it down upon a small Japanese table. There was a [21] rattle of cups and saucers and the hissing of a fluted Georgian urn. Two globe-shaped china dishes were brought in by a page. Dorian Gray went over and poured the tea out. The two men sauntered languidly to the table, and examined what was under the covers.

There was a knock at the door, and the butler came in with the tea tray and placed it on a small Japanese table. There was a clatter of cups and saucers, along with the hissing of a fluted Georgian urn. A page brought in two globe-shaped china dishes. Dorian Gray walked over and poured the tea. The two men strolled lazily to the table and looked at what was under the covers.

"Let us go to the theatre to-night," said Lord Henry. "There is sure to be something on, somewhere. I have promised to dine at White's, but it is only with an old friend, so I can send him a wire and say that I am ill, or that I am prevented from coming in consequence of a subsequent engagement. I think that would be a rather nice excuse: it would have the surprise of candor."

"Let’s go to the theater tonight," Lord Henry said. "There’s definitely something happening somewhere. I promised to have dinner at White's, but it’s just with an old friend, so I can text him and say I’m sick or that I can’t make it because of another commitment. I think that would be a pretty good excuse: it would have the shock of honesty."

"It is such a bore putting on one's dress-clothes," muttered Hallward. "And, when one has them on, they are so horrid."

"It’s such a drag getting into formal clothes," Hallward grumbled. "And once you have them on, they’re just awful."

"Yes," answered Lord Henry, dreamily, "the costume of our day is detestable. It is so sombre, so depressing. Sin is the only color-element left in modern life."

"Yeah," Lord Henry replied, lost in thought, "the fashion of our time is awful. It's so dull, so depressing. Sin is the only thing that adds color to modern life."

"You really must not say things like that before Dorian, Harry."

"You really shouldn’t say things like that in front of Dorian, Harry."

"Before which Dorian? The one who is pouring out tea for us, or the one in the picture?"

"Which Dorian are you talking about? The one who's pouring us tea, or the one in the picture?"

"Before either."

"Before anyone else."

"I should like to come to the theatre with you, Lord Henry," said the lad.

"I would like to go to the theater with you, Lord Henry," said the guy.

"Then you shall come; and you will come too, Basil, won't you?"

"Then you'll come; and you will come too, Basil, right?"

"I can't, really. I would sooner not. I have a lot of work to do."

"I really can't. I'd rather not. I have a lot on my plate."

"Well, then, you and I will go alone, Mr. Gray."

"Alright, then you and I will go by ourselves, Mr. Gray."

"I should like that awfully."

"I would really like that."

Basil Hallward bit his lip and walked over, cup in hand, to the picture. "I will stay with the real Dorian," he said, sadly.

Basil Hallward bit his lip and walked over, cup in hand, to the picture. "I'll stay with the real Dorian," he said, sadly.

"Is it the real Dorian?" cried the original of the portrait, running across to him. "Am I really like that?"

"Is that the real Dorian?" exclaimed the original of the portrait, rushing over to him. "Do I really look like that?"

"Yes; you are just like that."

"Yeah, you're just like that."

"How wonderful, Basil!"

"That's amazing, Basil!"

"At least you are like it in appearance. But it will never alter," said Hallward. "That is something."

"At least you look like it. But that will never change," said Hallward. "That's something."

"What a fuss people make about fidelity!" murmured Lord Henry.

"What a fuss people make about loyalty!" murmured Lord Henry.

"And, after all, it is purely a question for physiology. It has nothing to do with our own will. It is either an unfortunate accident, or an unpleasant result of temperament. Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot: that is all one can say."

"And, really, it's just a matter of physiology. It doesn’t involve our own choices. It’s either an unfortunate accident or an unpleasant consequence of temperament. Young men want to be loyal but aren't; older men want to be unfaithful but can't: that’s all that can be said."

"Don't go to the theatre to-night, Dorian," said Hallward. "Stop and dine with me."

"Don't go to the theater tonight, Dorian," Hallward said. "Stay and have dinner with me."

"I can't, really."

"I really can't."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Because I have promised Lord Henry to go with him."

"Because I promised Lord Henry I'd go with him."

"He won't like you better for keeping your promises. He always breaks his own. I beg you not to go."

"He won't think any more of you for keeping your promises. He always breaks his own. I’m asking you not to go."

Dorian Gray laughed and shook his head.

Dorian Gray laughed and shook his head.

"I entreat you."

"I beg you."

The lad hesitated, and looked over at Lord Henry, who was watching them from the tea-table with an amused smile.

The guy hesitated and glanced over at Lord Henry, who was watching them from the tea table with an amused smile.

[22] "I must go, Basil," he answered.

[22] "I have to go, Basil," he replied.

"Very well," said Hallward; and he walked over and laid his cup down on the tray. "It is rather late, and, as you have to dress, you had better lose no time. Good-by, Harry; good-by, Dorian. Come and see me soon. Come to-morrow."

"Sure," said Hallward, walking over to place his cup on the tray. "It’s getting late, and since you have to get ready, you should hurry. Bye, Harry; bye, Dorian. Visit me soon. Come by tomorrow."

"Certainly."

"Definitely."

"You won't forget?"

"Will you remember?"

"No, of course not."

"No way."

"And . . . Harry!"

"And... Harry!"

"Yes, Basil?"

"Yes, Basil?"

"Remember what I asked you, when in the garden this morning."

"Remember what I asked you when we were in the garden this morning."

"I have forgotten it."

"I forgot it."

"I trust you."

"I believe in you."

"I wish I could trust myself," said Lord Henry, laughing.--"Come, Mr. Gray, my hansom is outside, and I can drop you at your own place.--Good-by, Basil. It has been a most interesting afternoon."

"I wish I could trust myself," Lord Henry said, laughing. "Come on, Mr. Gray, my cab is outside, and I can take you home. Goodbye, Basil. It's been a really interesting afternoon."

As the door closed behind them, Hallward flung himself down on a sofa, and a look of pain came into his face.

As the door closed behind them, Hallward threw himself down on a sofa, and a look of pain crossed his face.




CHAPTER III

[...22] One afternoon, a month later, Dorian Gray was reclining in a luxurious arm-chair, in the little library of Lord Henry's house in Curzon Street. It was, in its way, a very charming room, with its high panelled wainscoting of olive-stained oak, its cream-colored frieze and ceiling of raised plaster-work, and its brick-dust felt carpet strewn with long-fringed silk Persian rugs. On a tiny satinwood table stood a statuette by Clodion, and beside it lay a copy of "Les Cent Nouvelles," bound for Margaret of Valois by Clovis Eve, and powdered with the gilt daisies that the queen had selected for her device. Some large blue china jars, filled with parrot-tulips, were ranged on the mantel-shelf, and through the small leaded panes of the window streamed the apricot-colored light of a summer's day in London.

[...22] One afternoon, a month later, Dorian Gray was lounging in a luxurious armchair in the small library of Lord Henry's house on Curzon Street. It was, in its own way, a very attractive room, with its high paneled wainscoting made of olive-stained oak, its cream-colored frieze and ceiling of raised plaster, and its brick-dust felt carpet dotted with long-fringed silk Persian rugs. On a small satinwood table stood a figurine by Clodion, and next to it lay a copy of "Les Cent Nouvelles," bound for Margaret of Valois by Clovis Eve, adorned with the gilt daisies that the queen had chosen for her emblem. Some large blue china jars filled with parrot-tulips were arranged on the mantel, and through the small leaded panes of the window flooded the apricot-colored light of a summer day in London.

Lord Henry had not come in yet. He was always late on principle, his principle being that punctuality is the thief of time. So the lad was looking rather sulky, as with listless fingers he turned over the pages of an elaborately-illustrated edition of "Manon Lescaut" that he had found in one of the bookcases. The formal monotonous ticking of the Louis Quatorze clock annoyed him. Once or twice he thought of going away.

Lord Henry still hadn't arrived. He was consistently late on purpose, believing that punctuality steals time. The young man looked pretty sulky as he absentmindedly flipped through the pages of a fancy illustrated edition of "Manon Lescaut" he found in one of the bookcases. The formal, monotonous ticking of the Louis Quatorze clock irritated him. A couple of times he considered leaving.

At last he heard a light step outside, and the door opened. "How late you are, Harry!" he murmured.

At last, he heard a light step outside, and the door opened. "You're so late, Harry!" he murmured.

"I am afraid it is not Harry, Mr. Gray," said a woman's voice.

"I’m afraid it’s not Harry, Mr. Gray," a woman's voice said.

He glanced quickly round, and rose to his feet. "I beg your pardon. I thought--"

He looked around quickly and stood up. "I’m sorry. I thought—"

"You thought it was my husband. It is only his wife. You must let me introduce myself. I know you quite well by your photographs. I think my husband has got twenty-seven of them."

"You thought it was my husband. It’s just his wife. Let me introduce myself. I know you pretty well from your pictures. I think my husband has about twenty-seven of them."

[23] "Not twenty-seven, Lady Henry?"

"Not 27, Lady Henry?"

"Well, twenty-six, then. And I saw you with him the other night at the Opera." She laughed nervously, as she spoke, and watched him with her vague forget-me-not eyes. She was a curious woman, whose dresses always looked as if they had been designed in a rage and put on in a tempest. She was always in love with somebody, and, as her passion was never returned, she had kept all her illusions. She tried to look picturesque, but only succeeded in being untidy. Her name was Victoria, and she had a perfect mania for going to church.

"Well, twenty-six then. And I saw you with him the other night at the opera." She laughed nervously as she spoke, watching him with her vague, forget-me-not eyes. She was an intriguing woman whose dresses always seemed like they were designed in a fit of rage and thrown on in a storm. She was always in love with someone, and since her feelings were never reciprocated, she clung to all her illusions. She tried to appear artistic but only managed to look messy. Her name was Victoria, and she had a deep obsession with going to church.

"That was at 'Lohengrin,' Lady Henry, I think?"

"That was at 'Lohengrin,' Lady Henry, I believe?"

"Yes; it was at dear 'Lohengrin.' I like Wagner's music better than any other music. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time, without people hearing what one says. That is a great advantage: don't you think so, Mr. Gray?"

"Yes; it was at dear 'Lohengrin.' I like Wagner's music more than any other. It's so loud that you can talk the whole time without anyone hearing what you're saying. That’s a big plus, don't you think so, Mr. Gray?"

The same nervous staccato laugh broke from her thin lips, and her fingers began to play with a long paper-knife.

The same anxious, short laugh escaped her thin lips, and her fingers started to fiddle with a long paper knife.

Dorian smiled, and shook his head: "I am afraid I don't think so, Lady Henry. I never talk during music,--at least during good music. If one hears bad music, it is one's duty to drown it by conversation."

Dorian smiled and shook his head. "I'm afraid I don't think so, Lady Henry. I never talk during music—at least not during good music. If you hear bad music, it's your duty to drown it out with conversation."

"Ah! that is one of Harry's views, isn't it, Mr. Gray? But you must not think I don't like good music. I adore it, but I am afraid of it. It makes me too romantic. I have simply worshipped pianists,--two at a time, sometimes. I don't know what it is about them. Perhaps it is that they are foreigners. They all are, aren't they? Even those that are born in England become foreigners after a time, don't they? It is so clever of them, and such a compliment to art. Makes it quite cosmopolitan, doesn't it? You have never been to any of my parties, have you, Mr. Gray? You must come. I can't afford orchids, but I spare no expense in foreigners. They make one's rooms look so picturesque. But here is Harry!--Harry, I came in to look for you, to ask you something,--I forget what it was,--and I found Mr. Gray here. We have had such a pleasant chat about music. We have quite the same views. No; I think our views are quite different. But he has been most pleasant. I am so glad I've seen him."

"Ah! That's one of Harry's views, right, Mr. Gray? But you shouldn't think I don't enjoy good music. I absolutely love it, but it intimidates me. It makes me too romantic. I've practically worshipped pianists—sometimes two at a time. I’m not sure what it is about them. Maybe it’s that they’re foreigners. They all are, aren't they? Even those born in England become foreigners after a while, don’t they? It’s so clever of them and such a compliment to art. It makes it feel quite cosmopolitan, doesn’t it? You’ve never been to any of my parties, have you, Mr. Gray? You really should come. I can't afford orchids, but I spare no expense on foreigners. They make my rooms look so picturesque. But here’s Harry!—Harry, I came in to find you, to ask you something—I forget what it was—and I found Mr. Gray here. We’ve had such a nice chat about music. We have quite similar views. No; I think our views are pretty different. But he’s been really nice. I’m so glad I met him."

"I am charmed, my love, quite charmed," said Lord Henry, elevating his dark crescent-shaped eyebrows and looking at them both with an amused smile.--"So sorry I am late, Dorian. I went to look after a piece of old brocade in Wardour Street, and had to bargain for hours for it. Nowadays people know the price of everything, and the value of nothing."

"I am enchanted, my dear, truly enchanted," said Lord Henry, raising his dark, crescent-shaped eyebrows and looking at both of them with an amused smile. "I apologize for being late, Dorian. I went to check out a piece of old brocade on Wardour Street and had to haggle for hours over it. These days, people know the price of everything but the value of nothing."

"I am afraid I must be going," exclaimed Lady Henry, after an awkward silence, with her silly sudden laugh. "I have promised to drive with the duchess.--Good-by, Mr. Gray.--Good-by, Harry. You are dining out, I suppose? So am I. Perhaps I shall see you at Lady Thornbury's."

"I’m sorry, but I have to go," Lady Henry said after an uncomfortable silence, accompanied by her silly sudden laugh. "I promised to go for a drive with the duchess. Goodbye, Mr. Gray. Goodbye, Harry. You're going out to dinner, right? So am I. Maybe I’ll see you at Lady Thornbury's."

"I dare say, my dear," said Lord Henry, shutting the door behind her, as she flitted out of the room, looking like a bird-of-paradise that had been out in the rain, and leaving a faint odor of patchouli behind her. Then he shook hands with Dorian Gray, lit a cigarette, and flung himself down on the sofa.

"I must say, my dear," said Lord Henry, closing the door after she quickly left the room, looking like a rain-soaked bird of paradise and leaving a light scent of patchouli in her wake. Then he shook hands with Dorian Gray, lit a cigarette, and collapsed onto the sofa.

[24] "Never marry a woman with straw-colored hair, Dorian," he said, after a few puffs.

[24] "Never marry a woman with straw-colored hair, Dorian," he said, after a few puffs.

"Why, Harry?"

"Why, Harry?"

"Because they are so sentimental."

"Because they're so sentimental."

"But I like sentimental people."

"But I like emotional people."

"Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious: both are disappointed."

"Don't ever get married, Dorian. Men marry because they're worn out; women, because they're curious: both end up disappointed."

"I don't think I am likely to marry, Harry. I am too much in love. That is one of your aphorisms. I am putting it into practice, as I do everything you say."

"I don't think I'm going to get married, Harry. I'm too in love. That's one of your sayings. I'm putting it into action, just like I do with everything you tell me."

"Whom are you in love with?" said Lord Henry, looking at him with a curious smile.

"Who are you in love with?" Lord Henry asked, looking at him with a curious smile.

"With an actress," said Dorian Gray, blushing.

"With an actress," said Dorian Gray, blushing.

Lord Henry shrugged his shoulders. "That is a rather common-place début," he murmured.

Lord Henry shrugged his shoulders. "That's a pretty ordinary debut," he murmured.

"You would not say so if you saw her, Harry."

"You wouldn't think that if you saw her, Harry."

"Who is she?"

"Who is she?"

"Her name is Sibyl Vane."

"Her name's Sibyl Vane."

"Never heard of her."

"Never heard of her."

"No one has. People will some day, however. She is a genius."

"No one has. People will someday, though. She’s a genius."

"My dear boy, no woman is a genius: women are a decorative sex. They never have anything to say, but they say it charmingly. They represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as we men represent the triumph of mind over morals. There are only two kinds of women, the plain and the colored. The plain women are very useful. If you want to gain a reputation for respectability, you have merely to take them down to supper. The other women are very charming. They commit one mistake, however. They paint in order to try to look young. Our grandmothers painted in order to try to talk brilliantly. Rouge and esprit used to go together. That has all gone out now. As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. As for conversation, there are only five women in London worth talking to, and two of these can't be admitted into decent society. However, tell me about your genius. How long have you known her?"

"My dear boy, no woman is a genius; women are a decorative sex. They rarely have anything important to say, but they say it charmingly. They symbolize the victory of physical appearance over intellect, just as we men symbolize the victory of intellect over ethics. There are only two types of women: plain and glamorous. Plain women are quite useful. If you want to build a reputation for respectability, all you have to do is take them out to dinner. The other women are very charming, but they make one mistake. They wear makeup in an attempt to look younger. Our grandmothers used makeup to try to impress with their intellect. Beauty and wit used to go hand in hand. That's all changed now. As long as a woman can appear ten years younger than her own daughter, she feels perfectly content. When it comes to conversation, there are only five women in London worth talking to, and two of them can't be accepted into decent society. Anyway, tell me about your genius. How long have you known her?"

"About three weeks. Not so much. About two weeks and two days."

"About three weeks. Not much. About two weeks and two days."

"How did you come across her?"

"How did you discover her?"

"I will tell you, Harry; but you mustn't be unsympathetic about it. After all, it never would have happened if I had not met you. You filled me with a wild desire to know everything about life. For days after I met you, something seemed to throb in my veins. As I lounged in the Park, or strolled down Piccadilly, I used to look at every one who passed me, and wonder with a mad curiosity what sort of lives they led. Some of them fascinated me. Others filled me with terror. There was an exquisite poison in the air. I had a passion for sensations.

"I'll tell you, Harry, but you have to promise not to judge me for it. It all started because I met you. You ignited a crazy desire in me to learn everything about life. For days after meeting you, I felt this intense energy in my veins. While I relaxed in the park or walked down Piccadilly, I would look at everyone passing by and wonder with wild curiosity what their lives were like. Some intrigued me, while others scared me. There was a strange thrill in the air. I craved new experiences."

"One evening about seven o'clock I determined to go out in search of some adventure. I felt that this gray, monstrous London of ours, with its myriads of people, its splendid sinners, and its sordid sins, as [25] you once said, must have something in store for me. I fancied a thousand things.

"One evening around seven o'clock, I decided to head out in search of some adventure. I felt that this gray, monstrous London of ours, with its countless people, its grand sinners, and its grim sins, as you once said, must have something waiting for me. I imagined a thousand possibilities."

"The mere danger gave me a sense of delight. I remembered what you had said to me on that wonderful night when we first dined together, about the search for beauty being the poisonous secret of life. I don't know what I expected, but I went out, and wandered eastward, soon losing my way in a labyrinth of grimy streets and black, grassless squares. About half-past eight I passed by a little third-rate theatre, with great flaring gas-jets and gaudy play-bills. A hideous Jew, in the most amazing waistcoat I ever beheld in my life, was standing at the entrance, smoking a vile cigar. He had greasy ringlets, and an enormous diamond blazed in the centre of a soiled shirt. ''Ave a box, my lord?' he said, when he saw me, and he took off his hat with an act of gorgeous servility. There was something about him, Harry, that amused me. He was such a monster. You will laugh at me, I know, but I really went in and paid a whole guinea for the stage-box. To the present day I can't make out why I did so; and yet if I hadn't!--my dear Harry, if I hadn't, I would have missed the greatest romance of my life. I see you are laughing. It is horrid of you!"

"The mere danger gave me a thrill. I remembered what you told me that amazing night when we first had dinner together about the search for beauty being the toxic secret of life. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I went out and wandered eastward, quickly getting lost in a maze of dirty streets and dark, bare squares. Around eight-thirty, I passed a little rundown theater with bright gas lights and flashy posters. A hideous guy, wearing the most outrageous waistcoat I’ve ever seen, was standing at the entrance, smoking a disgusting cigar. He had greasy curls and a huge diamond sparkled in the middle of a dirty shirt. 'Want a box, my lord?' he said when he spotted me, taking off his hat with an overly dramatic bow. There was something about him, Harry, that made me laugh. He was such a freak. You'll find this funny, I know, but I actually went in and paid a full guinea for the box seats. To this day, I can’t figure out why I did that; and yet if I hadn’t—my dear Harry, if I hadn't, I would have missed the greatest romance of my life. I see you're laughing. That’s just cruel!"

"I am not laughing, Dorian; at least I am not laughing at you. But you should not say the greatest romance of your life. You should say the first romance of your life. You will always be loved, and you will always be in love with love. There are exquisite things in store for you. This is merely the beginning."

"I’m not laughing, Dorian; at least I'm not laughing at you. But you shouldn’t say the greatest romance of your life. You should say the first romance of your life. You will always be loved, and you will always be in love with love. There are beautiful things ahead for you. This is just the beginning."

"Do you think my nature so shallow?" cried Dorian Gray, angrily.

"Do you really think I'm that superficial?" Dorian Gray exclaimed, fuming.

"No; I think your nature so deep."

"No; I think your character is so profound."

"How do you mean?"

"What do you mean?"

"My dear boy, people who only love once in their lives are really shallow people. What they call their loyalty, and their fidelity, I call either the lethargy of custom or the lack of imagination. Faithlessness is to the emotional life what consistency is to the intellectual life,--simply a confession of failure. But I don't want to interrupt you. Go on with your story."

"My dear boy, people who only love once in their lives are really shallow. What they think of as loyalty and fidelity, I see as either just sticking to habits or lacking imagination. Being unfaithful is to the emotional life what consistency is to the intellectual life—just a sign of failure. But I don't want to interrupt you. Keep going with your story."

"Well, I found myself seated in a horrid little private box, with a vulgar drop-scene staring me in the face. I looked out behind the curtain, and surveyed the house. It was a tawdry affair, all Cupids and cornucopias, like a third-rate wedding-cake. The gallery and pit were fairly full, but the two rows of dingy stalls were quite empty, and there was hardly a person in what I suppose they called the dress-circle. Women went about with oranges and ginger-beer, and there was a terrible consumption of nuts going on."

"Well, I found myself sitting in a dreadful little private box, with a tacky backdrop staring me in the face. I peeked out from behind the curtain and looked over the audience. It was a cheap setup, all Cupids and cornucopias, like a low-budget wedding cake. The gallery and pit were pretty full, but the two rows of shabby stalls were almost empty, and there were hardly any people in what I guess they called the dress circle. Women were walking around with oranges and ginger beer, and there was a crazy amount of nut consumption happening."

"It must have been just like the palmy days of the British Drama."

"It must have been just like the heyday of British drama."

"Just like, I should fancy, and very horrid. I began to wonder what on earth I should do, when I caught sight of the play-bill. What do you think the play was, Harry?"

"Just like I imagine, and really terrible. I started to think about what I should do when I noticed the playbill. What do you think the play was, Harry?"

"I should think 'The Idiot Boy, or Dumb but Innocent.' Our fathers used to like that sort of piece, I believe. The longer I live, Dorian, the more keenly I feel that whatever was good enough for our fathers is not good enough for us. In art, as in politics, les grand pères ont toujours tort."

"I suppose 'The Idiot Boy, or Dumb but Innocent' would work. I think our fathers used to like that kind of thing. The longer I live, Dorian, the more I realize that what was good enough for our fathers isn’t good enough for us. In art, just like in politics, the old generation is always wrong."

[26] "This play was good enough for us, Harry. It was 'Romeo and Juliet.' I must admit I was rather annoyed at the idea of seeing Shakespeare done in such a wretched hole of a place. Still, I felt interested, in a sort of way. At any rate, I determined to wait for the first act. There was a dreadful orchestra, presided over by a young Jew who sat at a cracked piano, that nearly drove me away, but at last the drop-scene was drawn up, and the play began. Romeo was a stout elderly gentleman, with corked eyebrows, a husky tragedy voice, and a figure like a beer-barrel. Mercutio was almost as bad. He was played by the low-comedian, who had introduced gags of his own and was on most familiar terms with the pit. They were as grotesque as the scenery, and that looked as if it had come out of a pantomime of fifty years ago. But Juliet! Harry, imagine a girl, hardly seventeen years of age, with a little flower-like face, a small Greek head with plaited coils of dark-brown hair, eyes that were violet wells of passion, lips that were like the petals of a rose. She was the loveliest thing I had ever seen in my life. You said to me once that pathos left you unmoved, but that beauty, mere beauty, could fill your eyes with tears. I tell you, Harry, I could hardly see this girl for the mist of tears that came across me. And her voice,--I never heard such a voice. It was very low at first, with deep mellow notes, that seemed to fall singly upon one's ear. Then it became a little louder, and sounded like a flute or a distant hautbois. In the garden-scene it had all the tremulous ecstasy that one hears just before dawn when nightingales are singing. There were moments, later on, when it had the wild passion of violins. You know how a voice can stir one. Your voice and the voice of Sibyl Vane are two things that I shall never forget. When I close my eyes, I hear them, and each of them says something different. I don't know which to follow. Why should I not love her? Harry, I do love her. She is everything to me in life. Night after night I go to see her play. One evening she is Rosalind, and the next evening she is Imogen. I have seen her die in the gloom of an Italian tomb, sucking the poison from her lover's lips. I have watched her wandering through the forest of Arden, disguised as a pretty boy in hose and doublet and dainty cap. She has been mad, and has come into the presence of a guilty king, and given him rue to wear, and bitter herbs to taste of. She has been innocent, and the black hands of jealousy have crushed her reed-like throat. I have seen her in every age and in every costume. Ordinary women never appeal to one's imagination. They are limited to their century. No glamour ever transfigures them. One knows their minds as easily as one knows their bonnets. One can always find them. There is no mystery in one of them. They ride in the Park in the morning, and chatter at tea-parties in the afternoon. They have their stereotyped smile, and their fashionable manner. They are quite obvious. But an actress! How different an actress is! Why didn't you tell me that the only thing worth loving is an actress?"

[26] "This play was good enough for us, Harry. It was 'Romeo and Juliet.' I have to admit, I was pretty annoyed at the thought of seeing Shakespeare performed in such a terrible place. Still, I felt interested, in a way. In any case, I decided to stick around for the first act. There was a dreadful orchestra run by a young guy who sat at a broken piano, and it nearly drove me away, but finally, the curtain went up, and the play started. Romeo was a heavyset older man, with fake eyebrows, a rough gravelly voice, and a body like a beer barrel. Mercutio was almost as bad. He was played by a low comedian who added his own jokes and was way too friendly with the audience. They were as ridiculous as the set, which looked like it came from a pantomime from fifty years ago. But Juliet! Harry, picture a girl barely seventeen, with a delicate, flower-like face, a small Greek head with twisted dark-brown hair, eyes that were deep wells of passion, and lips like rose petals. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. You once told me that sadness didn’t move you, but pure beauty could fill your eyes with tears. I swear, Harry, I could hardly see this girl through the tears that welled up. And her voice—I’ve never heard anything like it. It started off very soft, with deep, rich tones that seemed to hit your ear gently, then it became a bit louder and sounded like a flute or a distant oboe. In the garden scene, it had all the trembling joy of the early morning when nightingales sing. There were times later when it carried the intense emotion of violins. You know how a voice can really affect you. Your voice and Sibyl Vane’s are two I’ll never forget. When I close my eyes, I can hear them, and each one says something different. I don’t know which one to follow. Why shouldn’t I love her? Harry, I do love her. She means everything to me. Night after night I go to see her perform. One night she's Rosalind, the next she's Imogen. I’ve seen her die in a dark Italian tomb, drinking poison from her lover’s lips. I’ve watched her wander through the Forest of Arden, disguised as a cute boy in tights and a fancy cap. She’s been mad, confronting a guilty king, giving him rue to wear and bitter herbs to taste. She’s been innocent, and the black hands of jealousy have squeezed her delicate throat. I’ve seen her in every age and outfit. Ordinary women never captivate the imagination. They belong to their time. No enchantment ever changes them. You can read their minds as easily as you can see their hats. They’re always around. There’s no mystery to them. They ride in the park in the morning and gossip at tea parties in the afternoon. They have their cliché smile and trendy mannerisms. They’re quite obvious. But an actress! An actress is so different! Why didn’t you tell me that the only thing worth loving is an actress?"

"Because I have loved so many of them, Dorian."

"Because I've loved so many of them, Dorian."

"Oh, yes, horrid people with dyed hair and painted faces."

"Oh, yes, awful people with dyed hair and makeup."

"Don't run down dyed hair and painted faces. There is an extraordinary charm in them, sometimes."

"Don’t criticize dyed hair and made-up faces. There’s an amazing charm in them, sometimes."

[27] "I wish now I had not told you about Sibyl Vane."

"I wish I hadn’t told you about Sibyl Vane."

"You could not have helped telling me, Dorian. All through your life you will tell me everything you do."

"You couldn't have helped telling me, Dorian. Throughout your life, you'll share everything you do with me."

"Yes, Harry, I believe that is true. I cannot help telling you things. You have a curious influence over me. If I ever did a crime, I would come and confide it to you. You would understand me."

"Yes, Harry, I think that's true. I can't help but share things with you. You have a strange effect on me. If I ever committed a crime, I would come and tell you about it. You would get me."

"People like you--the wilful sunbeams of life--don't commit crimes, Dorian. But I am much obliged for the compliment, all the same. And now tell me,--reach me the matches, like a good boy: thanks,--tell me, what are your relations with Sibyl Vane?"

"People like you—the strong, bright lights of life—don’t commit crimes, Dorian. But I really appreciate the compliment, nonetheless. Now tell me—hand me the matches, like a good boy: thanks—let me know, what’s your relationship with Sibyl Vane?"

Dorian Gray leaped to his feet, with flushed cheeks and burning eyes. "Harry, Sibyl Vane is sacred!"

Dorian Gray jumped to his feet, with flushed cheeks and fiery eyes. "Harry, Sibyl Vane is sacred!"

"It is only the sacred things that are worth touching, Dorian," said Lord Henry, with a strange touch of pathos in his voice. "But why should you be annoyed? I suppose she will be yours some day. When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls romance. You know her, at any rate, I suppose?"

"It’s only the sacred things that are worth touching, Dorian," Lord Henry said, with a hint of sadness in his voice. "But why should you be upset? I guess she’ll be yours someday. When you’re in love, you always start by fooling yourself, and you always end by fooling others. That’s what the world calls romance. You know her, at least, right?"

"Of course I know her. On the first night I was at the theatre, the horrid old Jew came round to the box after the performance was over, and offered to bring me behind the scenes and introduce me to her. I was furious with him, and told him that Juliet had been dead for hundreds of years, and that her body was lying in a marble tomb in Verona. I think, from his blank look of amazement, that he thought I had taken too much champagne, or something."

"Of course I know her. On my first night at the theater, that terrible old man came to the box after the show was over and offered to take me backstage to meet her. I was so angry with him and told him that Juliet had been dead for hundreds of years and that her body was in a marble tomb in Verona. From his shocked expression, I think he thought I had drunk too much champagne or something."

"I am not surprised."

"I'm not surprised."

"I was not surprised either. Then he asked me if I wrote for any of the newspapers. I told him I never even read them. He seemed terribly disappointed at that, and confided to me that all the dramatic critics were in a conspiracy against him, and that they were all to be bought."

"I wasn't surprised either. Then he asked me if I wrote for any of the newspapers. I told him I didn't even read them. He looked really disappointed and told me that all the drama critics were in a conspiracy against him and that they could all be bribed."

"I believe he was quite right there. But, on the other hand, most of them are not at all expensive."

"I think he was totally right about that. But, on the flip side, most of them aren't expensive at all."

"Well, he seemed to think they were beyond his means. By this time the lights were being put out in the theatre, and I had to go. He wanted me to try some cigars which he strongly recommended. I declined. The next night, of course, I arrived at the theatre again. When he saw me he made me a low bow, and assured me that I was a patron of art. He was a most offensive brute, though he had an extraordinary passion for Shakespeare. He told me once, with an air of pride, that his three bankruptcies were entirely due to the poet, whom he insisted on calling 'The Bard.' He seemed to think it a distinction."

"Well, he thought they were out of his budget. By this time, the lights were being turned off in the theater, and I had to leave. He wanted me to try some cigars that he highly recommended. I said no. The next night, of course, I returned to the theater. When he saw me, he gave me a deep bow and said I was a supporter of art. He was a really offensive guy, even though he had an amazing passion for Shakespeare. He once told me, with pride, that his three bankruptcies were solely because of the poet, whom he insisted on calling 'The Bard.' He thought it was something special."

"It was a distinction, my dear Dorian,--a great distinction. But when did you first speak to Miss Sibyl Vane?"

"It was an honor, my dear Dorian—a great honor. But when did you first talk to Miss Sibyl Vane?"

"The third night. She had been playing Rosalind. I could not help going round. I had thrown her some flowers, and she had looked at me; at least I fancied that she had. The old Jew was persistent. He seemed determined to bring me behind, so I consented. It was curious my not wanting to know her, wasn't it?"

"The third night. She had been playing Rosalind. I couldn’t resist going around. I had tossed her some flowers, and she had looked at me; at least I thought she had. The old guy was persistent. He seemed set on bringing me back there, so I agreed. It’s funny that I didn’t want to get to know her, isn’t it?"

[28] "No; I don't think so."

[28] "No, I don't think so."

"My dear Harry, why?"

"Hey Harry, why?"

"I will tell you some other time. Now I want to know about the girl."

"I'll tell you another time. Right now, I want to know about the girl."

"Sibyl? Oh, she was so shy, and so gentle. There is something of a child about her. Her eyes opened wide in exquisite wonder when I told her what I thought of her performance, and she seemed quite unconscious of her power. I think we were both rather nervous. The old Jew stood grinning at the door-way of the dusty greenroom, making elaborate speeches about us both, while we stood looking at each other like children. He would insist on calling me 'My Lord,' so I had to assure Sibyl that I was not anything of the kind. She said quite simply to me, 'You look more like a prince.'"

"Sibyl? Oh, she was so shy and gentle. There’s something childlike about her. Her eyes went wide with pure wonder when I shared my thoughts on her performance, and she seemed completely unaware of her own charm. I think we were both a bit nervous. The old man stood grinning at the doorway of the dusty greenroom, making a big deal about the two of us, while we just looked at each other like kids. He insisted on calling me 'My Lord,' so I had to reassure Sibyl that I wasn’t anything like that. She simply said to me, 'You look more like a prince.'"

"Upon my word, Dorian, Miss Sibyl knows how to pay compliments."

"Honestly, Dorian, Miss Sibyl really knows how to give compliments."

"You don't understand her, Harry. She regarded me merely as a person in a play. She knows nothing of life. She lives with her mother, a faded tired woman who played Lady Capulet in a sort of magenta dressing-wrapper on the first night, and who looks as if she had seen better days."

"You don't get her, Harry. She saw me just as a character in a play. She knows nothing about real life. She lives with her mom, a worn-out woman who wore a sort of magenta bathrobe playing Lady Capulet on opening night, and who looks like she's been through a lot."

"I know that look. It always depresses me."

"I recognize that look. It always brings me down."

"The Jew wanted to tell me her history, but I said it did not interest me."

"The Jewish woman wanted to share her story with me, but I told her I wasn't interested."

"You were quite right. There is always something infinitely mean about other people's tragedies."

"You were absolutely right. There's always something incredibly harsh about other people's tragedies."

"Sibyl is the only thing I care about. What is it to me where she came from? From her little head to her little feet, she is absolutely and entirely divine. I go to see her act every night of my life, and every night she is more marvellous."

"Sibyl is the only thing that matters to me. What do I care about where she comes from? From her little head to her little feet, she is completely and utterly divine. I go to see her perform every night of my life, and every night she becomes more wonderful."

"That is the reason, I suppose, that you will never dine with me now. I thought you must have some curious romance on hand. You have; but it is not quite what I expected."

"That's probably why you won't have dinner with me anymore. I figured you must have some interesting story going on. You do, but it's not exactly what I thought it would be."

"My dear Harry, we either lunch or sup together every day, and I have been to the Opera with you several times."

"My dear Harry, we have lunch or dinner together every day, and I've been to the Opera with you several times."

"You always come dreadfully late."

"You always arrive so late."

"Well, I can't help going to see Sibyl play, even if it is only for an act. I get hungry for her presence; and when I think of the wonderful soul that is hidden away in that little ivory body, I am filled with awe."

"Well, I can't resist going to see Sibyl perform, even if it's just for one act. I crave her presence, and when I think about the amazing soul that's tucked away in that petite ivory body, I'm filled with wonder."

"You can dine with me to-night, Dorian, can't you?"

"You can have dinner with me tonight, Dorian, right?"

He shook his head. "To-night she is Imogen," he answered, "and tomorrow night she will be Juliet."

He shook his head. "Tonight she is Imogen," he replied, "and tomorrow night she will be Juliet."

"When is she Sibyl Vane?"

"When is she Sibyl Vane?"

"Never."

"Not ever."

"I congratulate you."

"Congrats!"

"How horrid you are! She is all the great heroines of the world in one. She is more than an individual. You laugh, but I tell you she has genius. I love her, and I must make her love me. You, who know all the secrets of life, tell me how to charm Sibyl Vane to love me! I want to make Romeo jealous. I want the dead lovers of the [29] world to hear our laughter, and grow sad. I want a breath of our passion to stir their dust into consciousness, to wake their ashes into pain. My God, Harry, how I worship her!" He was walking up and down the room as he spoke. Hectic spots of red burned on his cheeks. He was terribly excited.

"How terrible you are! She embodies all the great heroines of the world. She’s more than just one person. You laugh, but I’m telling you she has brilliance. I love her, and I have to make her love me. You, who know all the secrets of life, tell me how to win Sibyl Vane’s heart! I want to make Romeo jealous. I want the dead lovers of the world to hear our laughter and feel sad. I want a breath of our passion to stir their dust back to life, to wake their ashes into pain. My God, Harry, how I adore her!" He was pacing the room as he spoke. Hectic spots of red burned on his cheeks. He was incredibly excited.

Lord Henry watched him with a subtle sense of pleasure. How different he was now from the shy, frightened boy he had met in Basil Hallward's studio! His nature had developed like a flower, had borne blossoms of scarlet flame. Out of its secret hiding-place had crept his Soul, and Desire had come to meet it on the way.

Lord Henry watched him with a quiet sense of satisfaction. How different he was now from the shy, scared boy he had met in Basil Hallward's studio! His personality had grown like a flower, blooming with vibrant scarlet petals. From its hidden place, his Soul had emerged, and Desire had come to greet it on the journey.

"And what do you propose to do?" said Lord Henry, at last.

"And what do you plan to do?" Lord Henry finally asked.

"I want you and Basil to come with me some night and see her act. I have not the slightest fear of the result. You won't be able to refuse to recognize her genius. Then we must get her out of the Jew's hands. She is bound to him for three years--at least for two years and eight months--from the present time. I will have to pay him something, of course. When all that is settled, I will take a West-End theatre and bring her out properly. She will make the world as mad as she has made me."

"I want you and Basil to come with me one night to see her perform. I’m not worried at all about the outcome. You won’t be able to deny her talent. Then we need to get her out of the Jew's control. She’s stuck with him for three years—at least two years and eight months—from now. I’ll have to pay him something, of course. Once all that’s sorted, I’ll book a West-End theater and showcase her properly. She'll drive the world as crazy as she has driven me."

"Impossible, my dear boy!"

"No way, my dear boy!"

"Yes, she will. She has not merely art, consummate art-instinct, in her, but she has personality also; and you have often told me that it is personalities, not principles, that move the age."

"Yes, she will. She doesn't just have art, a complete instinct for it; she has personality too. You've often told me that it's personalities, not principles, that shape the times."

"Well, what night shall we go?"

"Well, which night should we go?"

"Let me see. To-day is Tuesday. Let us fix to-morrow. She plays Juliet to-morrow."

"Let me think. Today is Tuesday. Let's plan for tomorrow. She plays Juliet tomorrow."

"All right. The Bristol at eight o'clock; and I will get Basil."

"Okay. The Bristol at eight o'clock; and I'll grab Basil."

"Not eight, Harry, please. Half-past six. We must be there before the curtain rises. You must see her in the first act, where she meets Romeo."

"Not eight, Harry, please. Half-past six. We have to get there before the show starts. You need to see her in the first act, where she meets Romeo."

"Half-past six! What an hour! It will be like having a meat-tea. However, just as you wish. Shall you see Basil between this and then? Or shall I write to him?"

"Half past six! What a time! It’ll be like having a meat dinner. Anyway, as you like. Will you see Basil before then? Or should I write to him?"

"Dear Basil! I have not laid eyes on him for a week. It is rather horrid of me, as he has sent me my portrait in the most wonderful frame, designed by himself, and, though I am a little jealous of it for being a whole month younger than I am, I must admit that I delight in it. Perhaps you had better write to him. I don't want to see him alone. He says things that annoy me."

"Dear Basil! I haven't seen him for a week. It's pretty awful of me, since he sent me my portrait in this amazing frame he designed himself, and even though I'm a bit jealous of it for being a whole month younger than I am, I have to admit I really love it. Maybe it’s best if you write to him. I don’t want to see him by myself. He says things that bug me."

Lord Henry smiled. "He gives you good advice, I suppose. People are very fond of giving away what they need most themselves."

Lord Henry smiled. "He gives you good advice, I guess. People really like to share what they need the most themselves."

"You don't mean to say that Basil has got any passion or any romance in him?"

"You can't be serious that Basil has any passion or romance in him?"

"I don't know whether he has any passion, but he certainly has romance," said Lord Henry, with an amused look in his eyes. "Has he never let you know that?"

"I don’t know if he has any real passion, but he definitely has romance," Lord Henry said, a playful look in his eyes. "Has he never made that clear to you?"

"Never. I must ask him about it. I am rather surprised to hear it. He is the best of fellows, but he seems to me to be just a bit of a Philistine. Since I have known you, Harry, I have discovered that."

"Never. I have to ask him about it. I'm quite surprised to hear that. He’s a great guy, but he strikes me as a bit of a Philistine. Since getting to know you, Harry, I’ve realized that."

"Basil, my dear boy, puts everything that is charming in him into [30] his work. The consequence is that he has nothing left for life but his prejudices, his principles, and his common sense. The only artists I have ever known who are personally delightful are bad artists. Good artists give everything to their art, and consequently are perfectly uninteresting in themselves. A great poet, a really great poet, is the most unpoetical of all creatures. But inferior poets are absolutely fascinating. The worse their rhymes are, the more picturesque they look. The mere fact of having published a book of second-rate sonnets makes a man quite irresistible. He lives the poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realize."

"Basil, my dear boy, pours all his charm into his work. The downside is that he has nothing left for life except his biases, his beliefs, and his common sense. The only artists I’ve ever known who are genuinely delightful are the bad ones. Good artists invest everything in their art, which makes them completely uninteresting as individuals. A great poet, a truly great poet, is the most unpoetical of all beings. But mediocre poets are completely captivating. The worse their rhymes, the more visually appealing they are. Just having published a collection of subpar sonnets makes a man incredibly charming. He lives the poetry he can’t write. The others write the poetry they don’t dare to bring to life."

"I wonder is that really so, Harry?" said Dorian Gray, putting some perfume on his handkerchief out of a large gold-topped bottle that stood on the table. "It must be, if you say so. And now I must be off. Imogen is waiting for me. Don't forget about to-morrow. Good-by."

"I wonder if that's really true, Harry?" said Dorian Gray, dabbing some perfume on his handkerchief from a large gold-topped bottle on the table. "It must be true if you say so. And now I have to go. Imogen is waiting for me. Don’t forget about tomorrow. Goodbye."

As he left the room, Lord Henry's heavy eyelids drooped, and he began to think. Certainly few people had ever interested him so much as Dorian Gray, and yet the lad's mad adoration of some one else caused him not the slightest pang of annoyance or jealousy. He was pleased by it. It made him a more interesting study. He had been always enthralled by the methods of science, but the ordinary subject-matter of science had seemed to him trivial and of no import. And so he had begun by vivisecting himself, as he had ended by vivisecting others. Human life,--that appeared to him the one thing worth investigating. There was nothing else of any value, compared to it. It was true that as one watched life in its curious crucible of pain and pleasure, one could not wear over one's face a mask of glass, or keep the sulphurous fumes from troubling the brain and making the imagination turbid with monstrous fancies and misshapen dreams. There were poisons so subtle that to know their properties one had to sicken of them. There were maladies so strange that one had to pass through them if one sought to understand their nature. And, yet, what a great reward one received! How wonderful the whole world became to one! To note the curious hard logic of passion, and the emotional colored life of the intellect,--to observe where they met, and where they separated, at what point they became one, and at what point they were at discord,--there was a delight in that! What matter what the cost was? One could never pay too high a price for any sensation.

As he walked out of the room, Lord Henry's heavy eyelids began to droop, and he started to think. Few people had ever intrigued him as much as Dorian Gray, yet the boy's intense infatuation with someone else didn't bother him at all. In fact, he found it pleasing. It made Dorian a more interesting case. He had always been fascinated by scientific methods, but the usual subjects of science seemed trivial and insignificant to him. So he started by examining himself, and he ended up examining others. Human life—this was the one thing that truly deserved investigation. Nothing else compared in value. It was true that as one observed life in its strange mix of pain and pleasure, one couldn’t wear a glass mask or keep the noxious fumes from disturbing the mind and fogging it with bizarre thoughts and distorted dreams. There were toxins so subtle that you needed to suffer through them to understand their effects. There were illnesses so unusual that to grasp their nature, you had to experience them. And yet, what a great reward awaited you! The whole world became more amazing! To see the intricate logic of passion and the vibrant emotional life of the mind—to watch where they intersected and diverged, where they became one and where they clashed—was a true delight! What did it matter what the cost was? One could never pay too high a price for any experience.

He was conscious--and the thought brought a gleam of pleasure into his brown agate eyes--that it was through certain words of his, musical words said with musical utterance, that Dorian Gray's soul had turned to this white girl and bowed in worship before her. To a large extent, the lad was his own creation. He had made him premature. That was something. Ordinary people waited till life disclosed to them its secrets, but to the few, to the elect, the mysteries of life were revealed before the veil was drawn away. Sometimes this was the effect of art, and chiefly of the art of literature, which dealt immediately with the passions and the intellect. But now and then a complex personality took the place and assumed the office of art, was indeed, in its [31] way, a real work of art, Life having its elaborate masterpieces, just as poetry has, or sculpture, or painting.

He was aware—and the thought brought a spark of joy to his brown agate eyes—that it was because of certain words he had spoken, beautiful words delivered with a melodic tone, that Dorian Gray's soul had turned to this white girl and worshiped her. To a large extent, the boy was his own creation. He had made him mature beyond his years. That was significant. Ordinary people waited until life revealed its secrets to them, but for a select few, the mysteries of life were uncovered before the veil was lifted. Sometimes this was the result of art, especially the art of literature, which directly engaged with emotions and intellect. But now and then, a complex personality stepped in and took the place of art, becoming, in its own way, a genuine work of art, with life producing its own elaborate masterpieces, just like poetry, sculpture, or painting.

Yes, the lad was premature. He was gathering his harvest while it was yet spring. The pulse and passion of youth were in him, but he was becoming self-conscious. It was delightful to watch him. With his beautiful face, and his beautiful soul, he was a thing to wonder at. It was no matter how it all ended, or was destined to end. He was like one of those gracious figures in a pageant or a play, whose joys seem to be remote from one, but whose sorrows stir one's sense of beauty, and whose wounds are like red roses.

Yes, the guy was ahead of his time. He was reaping what he had sown while it was still spring. The energy and passion of youth were in him, but he was starting to feel self-aware. It was a joy to watch him. With his handsome face and beautiful spirit, he was a sight to behold. It didn't really matter how everything turned out or was meant to turn out. He was like one of those elegant figures in a parade or a play, whose happiness feels distant but whose pain touches your sense of beauty, and whose wounds are like red roses.

Soul and body, body and soul--how mysterious they were! There was animalism in the soul, and the body had its moments of spirituality. The senses could refine, and the intellect could degrade. Who could say where the fleshly impulse ceased, or the psychical impulse began? How shallow were the arbitrary definitions of ordinary psychologists! And yet how difficult to decide between the claims of the various schools! Was the soul a shadow seated in the house of sin? Or was the body really in the soul, as Giordano Bruno thought? The separation of spirit from matter was a mystery, and the union of spirit with matter was a mystery also.

Soul and body, body and soul—how mysterious they were! There was a primal side to the soul, and the body had its moments of spirituality. The senses could elevate, and the mind could diminish. Who could say where the physical urge ended, or the mental urge began? How superficial were the arbitrary definitions of everyday psychologists! And yet how hard it was to choose between the perspectives of the different schools! Was the soul a shadow trapped in a place of sin? Or was the body actually a part of the soul, as Giordano Bruno believed? The separation of spirit from matter was a mystery, and the connection of spirit with matter was a mystery too.

He began to wonder whether we should ever make psychology so absolute a science that each little spring of life would be revealed to us. As it was, we always misunderstood ourselves, and rarely understood others. Experience was of no ethical value. It was merely the name we gave to our mistakes. Men had, as a rule, regarded it as a mode of warning, had claimed for it a certain moral efficacy in the formation of character, had praised it as something that taught us what to follow and showed us what to avoid. But there was no motive power in experience. It was as little of an active cause as conscience itself. All that it really demonstrated was that our future would be the same as our past, and that the sin we had done once, and with loathing, we would do many times, and with joy.

He started to question whether we should ever turn psychology into such a strict science that every little aspect of life would be clear to us. As it stood, we often misunderstood ourselves and rarely understood others. Experience offered no real ethical value. It was just a label we put on our mistakes. People generally viewed it as a warning, believed it had some moral benefit in shaping character, and praised it for teaching us what to pursue and what to avoid. But experience held no driving force. It was as inactive as conscience itself. What it truly showed was that our future would mirror our past, and that the sins we once committed, which we detested, we would repeat many times, and with pleasure.

It was clear to him that the experimental method was the only method by which one could arrive at any scientific analysis of the passions; and certainly Dorian Gray was a subject made to his hand, and seemed to promise rich and fruitful results. His sudden mad love for Sibyl Vane was a psychological phenomenon of no small interest. There was no doubt that curiosity had much to do with it, curiosity and the desire for new experiences; yet it was not a simple but rather a very complex passion. What there was in it of the purely sensuous instinct of boyhood had been transformed by the workings of the imagination, changed into something that seemed to the boy himself to be remote from sense, and was for that very reason all the more dangerous. It was the passions about whose origin we deceived ourselves that tyrannized most strongly over us. Our weakest motives were those of whose nature we were conscious. It often happened that when we thought we were experimenting on others we were really experimenting on ourselves.

It was obvious to him that the experimental method was the only way to achieve any scientific understanding of emotions, and Dorian Gray was a perfect subject, promising rich and valuable insights. His sudden, intense love for Sibyl Vane was a psychological phenomenon of considerable interest. There was no doubt that curiosity played a big role, along with the desire for new experiences; however, it was not a simple feeling but rather a highly complex passion. What was left of the purely sensual instincts of boyhood had been transformed by the imagination, turning into something that seemed entirely separate from physical sensations, which made it all the more dangerous. The passions whose origins we are unaware of often control us the most. Our weakest motives are usually those we are aware of. It often turned out that when we believed we were experimenting on others, we were actually experimenting on ourselves.

While Lord Henry sat dreaming on these things, a knock came to the door, and his valet entered, and reminded him it was time to dress [32] for dinner. He got up and looked out into the street. The sunset had smitten into scarlet gold the upper windows of the houses opposite. The panes glowed like plates of heated metal. The sky above was like a faded rose. He thought of Dorian Gray's young fiery-colored life, and wondered how it was all going to end.

While Lord Henry sat lost in thought about these things, there was a knock at the door, and his valet came in to remind him it was time to get ready for dinner. He stood up and looked out at the street. The sunset had painted the upper windows of the houses across the way in scarlet gold. The glass shimmered like heated metal. The sky above resembled a faded rose. He reflected on Dorian Gray's vibrant, passionate life and wondered how it would all turn out.

When he arrived home, about half-past twelve o'clock, he saw a telegram lying on the hall-table. He opened it and found it was from Dorian. It was to tell him that he was engaged to be married to Sibyl Vane.

When he got home around 12:30, he saw a telegram on the hall table. He opened it and found it was from Dorian. It was to let him know that he was engaged to be married to Sibyl Vane.




CHAPTER IV

[...32] "I suppose you have heard the news, Basil?" said Lord Henry on the following evening, as Hallward was shown into a little private room at the Bristol where dinner had been laid for three.

[...32] "I guess you’ve heard the news, Basil?" said Lord Henry the next evening as Hallward was led into a small private room at the Bristol where dinner had been set for three.

"No, Harry," answered Hallward, giving his hat and coat to the bowing waiter. "What is it? Nothing about politics, I hope? They don't interest me. There is hardly a single person in the House of Commons worth painting; though many of them would be the better for a little whitewashing."

"No, Harry," Hallward replied, handing his hat and coat to the bowing waiter. "What's up? I hope it’s not about politics? They don’t interest me. There’s barely anyone in the House of Commons worth painting, though quite a few of them could use a little scrubbing up."

"Dorian Gray is engaged to be married," said Lord Henry, watching him as he spoke.

"Dorian Gray is getting married," said Lord Henry, observing him as he spoke.

Hallward turned perfectly pale, and a curious look flashed for a moment into his eyes, and then passed away, leaving them dull. "Dorian engaged to be married!" he cried. "Impossible!"

Hallward turned completely pale, and a strange expression flickered in his eyes for a moment before fading, leaving them dull. "Dorian is getting married!" he exclaimed. "No way!"

"It is perfectly true."

"It's absolutely true."

"To whom?"

"To who?"

"To some little actress or other."

"To some minor actress or another."

"I can't believe it. Dorian is far too sensible."

"I can't believe it. Dorian is way too sensible."

"Dorian is far too wise not to do foolish things now and then, my dear Basil."

"Dorian is way too smart not to do dumb things every now and then, my dear Basil."

"Marriage is hardly a thing that one can do now and then, Harry," said Hallward, smiling.

"Marriage isn't something you can do occasionally, Harry," Hallward said, smiling.

"Except in America. But I didn't say he was married. I said he was engaged to be married. There is a great difference. I have a distinct remembrance of being married, but I have no recollection at all of being engaged. I am inclined to think that I never was engaged."

"Except in America. But I didn't say he was married. I said he was engaged to be married. There’s a big difference. I clearly remember being married, but I have no memory of being engaged at all. I tend to think that I was never engaged."

"But think of Dorian's birth, and position, and wealth. It would be absurd for him to marry so much beneath him."

"But think about Dorian's background, status, and wealth. It would be ridiculous for him to marry someone so far beneath him."

"If you want him to marry this girl, tell him that, Basil. He is sure to do it then. Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives."

"If you want him to marry this girl, tell him that, Basil. He's bound to do it then. Whenever a man does something completely foolish, it’s always for the best reasons."

"I hope the girl is good, Harry. I don't want to see Dorian tied to some vile creature, who might degrade his nature and ruin his intellect."

"I hope the girl is good, Harry. I don't want to see Dorian stuck with some awful person who might ruin his character and mess up his mind."

"Oh, she is more than good--she is beautiful," murmured Lord Henry, sipping a glass of vermouth and orange-bitters. "Dorian says she is beautiful; and he is not often wrong about things of that kind. [33] Your portrait of him has quickened his appreciation of the personal appearance of other people. It has had that excellent effect, among others. We are to see her to-night, if that boy doesn't forget his appointment."

"Oh, she's more than just good—she's beautiful," murmured Lord Henry, sipping a glass of vermouth and orange bitters. "Dorian says she's beautiful; and he's usually right about things like that. [33] Your portrait of him has made him more appreciative of how other people look. It has had that great effect, among others. We’re supposed to see her tonight, if that boy doesn't forget his appointment."

"But do you approve of it, Harry?" asked Hallward, walking up and down the room, and biting his lip. "You can't approve of it, really. It is some silly infatuation."

"But do you really approve of it, Harry?" Hallward asked, pacing the room and biting his lip. "You can't genuinely approve of it. It’s just some foolish crush."

"I never approve, or disapprove, of anything now. It is an absurd attitude to take towards life. We are not sent into the world to air our moral prejudices. I never take any notice of what common people say, and I never interfere with what charming people do. If a personality fascinates me, whatever the personality chooses to do is absolutely delightful to me. Dorian Gray falls in love with a beautiful girl who acts Shakespeare, and proposes to marry her. Why not? If he wedded Messalina he would be none the less interesting. You know I am not a champion of marriage. The real drawback to marriage is that it makes one unselfish. And unselfish people are colorless. They lack individuality. Still, there are certain temperaments that marriage makes more complex. They retain their egotism, and add to it many other egos. They are forced to have more than one life. They become more highly organized. Besides, every experience is of value, and, whatever one may say against marriage, it is certainly an experience. I hope that Dorian Gray will make this girl his wife, passionately adore her for six months, and then suddenly become fascinated by some one else. He would be a wonderful study."

"I don’t judge or criticize anything anymore. It’s a ridiculous way to approach life. We’re not here to express our moral biases. I ignore what ordinary people think, and I never get involved in what interesting people do. If someone captivates me, I find everything they do completely charming. Dorian Gray falls for a beautiful girl who performs Shakespeare and asks her to marry him. Why not? Even if he married Messalina, he’d still be fascinating. You know I’m not a supporter of marriage. The main issue with marriage is that it makes you unselfish. And unselfish people are dull. They lack uniqueness. Still, there are certain personalities that marriage adds complexity to. They keep their self-centeredness and incorporate many other perspectives. They have to manage more than one life. They become more sophisticated. Plus, every experience has its worth, and no matter what anyone says against marriage, it’s definitely an experience. I hope Dorian Gray will marry this girl, adore her passionately for six months, and then suddenly become infatuated with someone else. He would be an amazing study."

"You don't mean all that, Harry; you know you don't. If Dorian Gray's life were spoiled, no one would be sorrier than yourself. You are much better than you pretend to be."

"You don't really mean that, Harry; you know you don't. If Dorian Gray's life were ruined, no one would feel worse than you. You're way better than you let on."

Lord Henry laughed. "The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror. We think that we are generous because we credit our neighbor with those virtues that are likely to benefit ourselves. We praise the banker that we may overdraw our account, and find good qualities in the highwayman in the hope that he may spare our pockets. I mean everything that I have said. I have the greatest contempt for optimism. And as for a spoiled life, no life is spoiled but one whose growth is arrested. If you want to mar a nature, you have merely to reform it. But here is Dorian himself. He will tell you more than I can."

Lord Henry laughed. "The reason we all like to think well of others is that we're all scared for ourselves. The foundation of optimism is pure fear. We believe we're generous because we attribute to our neighbors those qualities that might benefit us. We praise the banker so we can overdraw our account and find good qualities in the robber in hopes that he'll spare our wallets. I mean everything I've said. I have the utmost disdain for optimism. And when it comes to a wasted life, no life is wasted except one whose growth is stunted. If you want to ruin someone's nature, all you have to do is try to reform it. But here’s Dorian himself. He'll tell you more than I can."

"My dear Harry, my dear Basil, you must both congratulate me!" said the boy, throwing off his evening cape with its satin-lined wings, and shaking each of his friends by the hand in turn. "I have never been so happy. Of course it is sudden: all really delightful things are. And yet it seems to me to be the one thing I have been looking for all my life." He was flushed with excitement and pleasure, and looked extraordinarily handsome.

"My dear Harry, my dear Basil, you both have to congratulate me!" said the boy, tossing off his evening cape with its satin-lined wings and shaking hands with each of his friends in turn. "I've never been this happy. Of course, it's sudden; all truly delightful things are. And yet, it feels like the one thing I've been searching for my entire life." He was flushed with excitement and joy, and he looked incredibly handsome.

"I hope you will always be very happy, Dorian," said Hallward, "but I don't quite forgive you for not having let me know of your engagement. You let Harry know."

"I hope you’re always really happy, Dorian," Hallward said, "but I still can’t fully forgive you for not telling me about your engagement. You told Harry."

"And I don't forgive you for being late for dinner," broke in Lord [34] Henry, putting his hand on the lad's shoulder, and smiling as he spoke. "Come, let us sit down and try what the new chef here is like, and then you will tell us how it all came about."

"And I don't forgive you for being late for dinner," Lord [34] Henry interrupted, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder and smiling as he spoke. "Come on, let's sit down and see what the new chef here is like, and then you can tell us how everything happened."

"There is really not much to tell," cried Dorian, as they took their seats at the small round table. "What happened was simply this. After I left you yesterday evening, Harry, I had some dinner at that curious little Italian restaurant in Rupert Street, you introduced me to, and went down afterwards to the theatre. Sibyl was playing Rosalind. Of course the scenery was dreadful, and the Orlando absurd. But Sibyl! You should have seen her! When she came on in her boy's dress she was perfectly wonderful. She wore a moss-colored velvet jerkin with cinnamon sleeves, slim brown cross-gartered hose, a dainty little green cap with a hawk's feather caught in a jewel, and a hooded cloak lined with dull red. She had never seemed to me more exquisite. She had all the delicate grace of that Tanagra figurine that you have in your studio, Basil. Her hair clustered round her face like dark leaves round a pale rose. As for her acting--well, you will see her to-night. She is simply a born artist. I sat in the dingy box absolutely enthralled. I forgot that I was in London and in the nineteenth century. I was away with my love in a forest that no man had ever seen. After the performance was over I went behind, and spoke to her. As we were sitting together, suddenly there came a look into her eyes that I had never seen there before. My lips moved towards hers. We kissed each other. I can't describe to you what I felt at that moment. It seemed to me that all my life had been narrowed to one perfect point of rose-colored joy. She trembled all over, and shook like a white narcissus. Then she flung herself on her knees and kissed my hands. I feel that I should not tell you all this, but I can't help it. Of course our engagement is a dead secret. She has not even told her own mother. I don't know what my guardians will say. Lord Radley is sure to be furious. I don't care. I shall be of age in less than a year, and then I can do what I like. I have been right, Basil, haven't I, to take my love out of poetry, and to find my wife in Shakespeare's plays? Lips that Shakespeare taught to speak have whispered their secret in my ear. I have had the arms of Rosalind around me, and kissed Juliet on the mouth."

“There’s really not much to say,” Dorian exclaimed as they settled into their seats at the small round table. “Here’s what happened. After I left you yesterday evening, Harry, I had dinner at that quirky little Italian restaurant on Rupert Street that you introduced me to, and then I went to the theater. Sibyl played Rosalind. Of course, the set was terrible, and Orlando was ridiculous. But Sibyl! You should have seen her! When she appeared in her boy’s costume, she was absolutely amazing. She wore a moss-colored velvet jerkin with cinnamon sleeves, slim brown cross-gartered stockings, a cute little green cap with a hawk’s feather fastened with a jewel, and a hooded cloak lined with dull red. She has never looked more stunning. She had the delicate grace of that Tanagra figurine you have in your studio, Basil. Her hair framed her face like dark leaves around a pale rose. And as for her acting—well, you’ll see her tonight. She’s just a natural artist. I sat in the shabby box completely captivated. I forgot I was in London in the nineteenth century. I was lost in my love in a forest no one had ever seen. After the performance, I went backstage to talk to her. While we were sitting together, suddenly there was a look in her eyes I had never seen before. My lips moved toward hers, and we kissed. I can’t describe what I felt in that moment. It was as if my entire life had been distilled into one perfect moment of rose-colored bliss. She trembled all over and shook like a white narcissus. Then she threw herself on her knees and kissed my hands. I feel like I shouldn’t tell you all this, but I can’t help it. Of course, our engagement is a complete secret. She hasn’t even told her own mother. I don’t know how my guardians will react. Lord Radley will definitely be furious. I don’t care. I’ll be of age in less than a year, and then I can do what I want. I have been right, Basil, haven’t I, to take my love out of poetry and find my wife in Shakespeare’s plays? Lips that Shakespeare taught to speak have whispered their secret in my ear. I have felt the arms of Rosalind around me and kissed Juliet on the lips.”

"Yes, Dorian, I suppose you were right," said Hallward, slowly.

"Yeah, Dorian, I guess you were right," Hallward said slowly.

"Have you seen her to-day?" asked Lord Henry.

"Have you seen her today?" asked Lord Henry.

Dorian Gray shook his head. "I left her in the forest of Arden, I shall find her in an orchard in Verona."

Dorian Gray shook his head. "I left her in the Forest of Arden; I will find her in an orchard in Verona."

Lord Henry sipped his champagne in a meditative manner. "At what particular point did you mention the word marriage, Dorian? and what did she say in answer? Perhaps you forgot all about it."

Lord Henry sipped his champagne thoughtfully. "When exactly did you bring up the topic of marriage, Dorian? And what did she say in response? Maybe you just overlooked it."

"My dear Harry, I did not treat it as a business transaction, and I did not make any formal proposal. I told her that I loved her, and she said she was not worthy to be my wife. Not worthy! Why, the whole world is nothing to me compared to her."

"My dear Harry, I didn't see it as a business deal, and I didn't make any official proposal. I told her I loved her, and she said she wasn't worthy to be my wife. Not worthy! The entire world means nothing to me compared to her."

"Women are wonderfully practical," murmured Lord Henry,--"much more practical than we are. In situations of that kind we often forget to say anything about marriage, and they always remind us."

"Women are incredibly practical," murmured Lord Henry, "much more practical than we are. In those kinds of situations, we often forget to mention marriage, and they always remind us."

[35] Hallward laid his hand upon his arm. "Don't, Harry. You have annoyed Dorian. He is not like other men. He would never bring misery upon any one. His nature is too fine for that."

[35] Hallward put his hand on his arm. "Don't, Harry. You've upset Dorian. He's not like other guys. He would never cause misery for anyone. His nature is too good for that."

Lord Henry looked across the table. "Dorian is never annoyed with me," he answered. "I asked the question for the best reason possible, for the only reason, indeed, that excuses one for asking any question,--simple curiosity. I have a theory that it is always the women who propose to us, and not we who propose to the women, except, of course, in middle-class life. But then the middle classes are not modern."

Lord Henry looked across the table. "Dorian never gets annoyed with me," he replied. "I asked the question for the best reason possible, really the only reason that justifies asking any question—simple curiosity. I have a theory that it's always women who propose to us, not the other way around, except, of course, in middle-class life. But then again, the middle classes aren't modern."

Dorian Gray laughed, and tossed his head. "You are quite incorrigible, Harry; but I don't mind. It is impossible to be angry with you. When you see Sibyl Vane you will feel that the man who could wrong her would be a beast without a heart. I cannot understand how any one can wish to shame what he loves. I love Sibyl Vane. I wish to place her on a pedestal of gold, and to see the world worship the woman who is mine. What is marriage? An irrevocable vow. And it is an irrevocable vow that I want to take. Her trust makes me faithful, her belief makes me good. When I am with her, I regret all that you have taught me. I become different from what you have known me to be. I am changed, and the mere touch of Sibyl Vane's hand makes me forget you and all your wrong, fascinating, poisonous, delightful theories."

Dorian Gray laughed and tossed his head. "You’re completely incorrigible, Harry; but I don’t mind. It’s impossible to be angry with you. When you see Sibyl Vane, you’ll realize that any man who could hurt her would be a soulless beast. I can’t understand how anyone could want to shame someone they love. I love Sibyl Vane. I want to put her on a pedestal of gold and see the world worship the woman who is mine. What is marriage? An unbreakable vow. And it’s that unbreakable vow that I want to take. Her trust keeps me loyal, her faith in me makes me good. When I’m with her, I regret everything you’ve taught me. I become different from what you know me to be. I’m changed, and just the touch of Sibyl Vane’s hand makes me forget you and all your wrong, fascinating, toxic, delightful theories."

"You will always like me, Dorian," said Lord Henry. "Will you have some coffee, you fellows?--Waiter, bring coffee, and fine-champagne, and some cigarettes. No: don't mind the cigarettes; I have some.--Basil, I can't allow you to smoke cigars. You must have a cigarette. A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can you want?--Yes, Dorian, you will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you have never had the courage to commit."

"You will always like me, Dorian," said Lord Henry. "Do you guys want some coffee? --Waiter, bring us coffee, some fine champagne, and a few cigarettes. Actually, skip the cigarettes; I've got some. --Basil, you can't smoke cigars. You have to have a cigarette. A cigarette is the perfect example of perfect pleasure. It’s exquisite, and it leaves you wanting more. What else could you desire? --Yes, Dorian, you will always be fond of me. I represent all the sins you’ve never had the guts to commit."

"What nonsense you talk, Harry!" cried Dorian Gray, lighting his cigarette from a fire-breathing silver dragon that the waiter had placed on the table. "Let us go down to the theatre. When you see Sibyl you will have a new ideal of life. She will represent something to you that you have never known."

"What nonsense you're talking, Harry!" exclaimed Dorian Gray, lighting his cigarette from a fire-breathing silver dragon that the waiter had put on the table. "Let’s go to the theater. Once you see Sibyl, you’ll have a new ideal of life. She will mean something to you that you’ve never experienced before."

"I have known everything," said Lord Henry, with a sad look in his eyes, "but I am always ready for a new emotion. I am afraid that there is no such thing, for me at any rate. Still, your wonderful girl may thrill me. I love acting. It is so much more real than life. Let us go. Dorian, you will come with me.--I am so sorry, Basil, but there is only room for two in the brougham. You must follow us in a hansom."

"I've experienced it all," Lord Henry said, a sad look in his eyes, "but I'm always open to a new feeling. I fear there isn’t one left for me, at least. Still, your amazing girl might excite me. I love performing. It's so much more genuine than real life. Let's go. Dorian, you’re coming with me. I’m really sorry, Basil, but there’s only space for two in the carriage. You’ll have to catch up with us in a cab."

They got up and put on their coats, sipping their coffee standing. Hallward was silent and preoccupied. There was a gloom over him. He could not bear this marriage, and yet it seemed to him to be better than many other things that might have happened. After a few moments, they all passed down-stairs. He drove off by himself, as had been arranged, and watched the flashing lights of the little brougham in front of him. A strange sense of loss came over him. [36] He felt that Dorian Gray would never again be to him all that he had been in the past. His eyes darkened, and the crowded flaring streets became blurred to him. When the cab drew up at the doors of the theatre, it seemed to him that he had grown years older.

They got up and put on their coats, sipping their coffee while standing. Hallward was quiet and lost in thought. He was weighed down by a sense of gloom. He couldn't stand this marriage, yet it felt better than many other situations that could have arisen. After a moment, they all went downstairs. He drove off alone, as planned, watching the flashing lights of the little carriage in front of him. A strange sense of loss washed over him. He felt that Dorian Gray would never again be the same to him as he had been in the past. His eyes darkened, and the busy, bright streets became a blur. When the cab pulled up at the theatre doors, it felt like he had aged years.




CHAPTER V

[...36] For some reason or other, the house was crowded that night, and the fat Jew manager who met them at the door was beaming from ear to ear with an oily, tremulous smile. He escorted them to their box with a sort of pompous humility, waving his fat jewelled hands, and talking at the top of his voice. Dorian Gray loathed him more than ever. He felt as if he had come to look for Miranda and had been met by Caliban. Lord Henry, upon the other hand, rather liked him. At least he declared he did, and insisted on shaking him by the hand, and assured him that he was proud to meet a man who had discovered a real genius and gone bankrupt over Shakespeare. Hallward amused himself with watching the faces in the pit. The heat was terribly oppressive, and the huge sunlight flamed like a monstrous dahlia with petals of fire. The youths in the gallery had taken off their coats and waistcoats and hung them over the side. They talked to each other across the theatre, and shared their oranges with the tawdry painted girls who sat by them. Some women were laughing in the pit; their voices were horribly shrill and discordant. The sound of the popping of corks came from the bar.

[...36] For some reason, the house was packed that night, and the overweight Jewish manager who met them at the door was grinning widely with a slick, nervous smile. He led them to their box with a sort of pretentious humility, waving his flashy hands and speaking at the top of his lungs. Dorian Gray hated him more than ever. It felt like he had come to find Miranda but was greeted by Caliban. Lord Henry, on the other hand, actually liked him. At least he said he did, and insisted on shaking his hand, claiming he was proud to meet someone who had discovered true genius and gone bankrupt over Shakespeare. Hallward entertained himself by watching the faces in the pit. The heat was stifling, and the bright sunlight blazed like a giant dahlia with fiery petals. The young men in the gallery had taken off their jackets and vests and draped them over the edge. They yelled back and forth across the theatre and shared their oranges with the tacky painted girls sitting next to them. Some women were laughing in the pit; their voices were painfully sharp and out of tune. The sound of popping corks echoed from the bar.

"What a place to find one's divinity in!" said Lord Henry.

"What a place to discover your inner self!" said Lord Henry.

"Yes!" answered Dorian Gray. "It was here I found her, and she is divine beyond all living things. When she acts you will forget everything. These common people here, with their coarse faces and brutal gestures, become quite different when she is on the stage. They sit silently and watch her. They weep and laugh as she wills them to do. She makes them as responsive as a violin. She spiritualizes them, and one feels that they are of the same flesh and blood as one's self."

"Yes!" replied Dorian Gray. "This is where I found her, and she is more amazing than anyone alive. When she performs, you forget everything else. The ordinary people here, with their rough faces and harsh movements, become completely different when she’s on stage. They sit quietly and watch her. They cry and laugh as she wants them to. She makes them as sensitive as a violin. She elevates them, and you feel like they share the same flesh and blood as you do."

"Oh, I hope not!" murmured Lord Henry, who was scanning the occupants of the gallery through his opera-glass.

"Oh, I hope not!" Lord Henry whispered, looking at the people in the gallery through his opera glasses.

"Don't pay any attention to him, Dorian," said Hallward. "I understand what you mean, and I believe in this girl. Any one you love must be marvellous, and any girl that has the effect you describe must be fine and noble. To spiritualize one's age,--that is something worth doing. If this girl can give a soul to those who have lived without one, if she can create the sense of beauty in people whose lives have been sordid and ugly, if she can strip them of their selfishness and lend them tears for sorrows that are not their own, she is worthy of all your adoration, worthy of the adoration of the world. This marriage is quite right. I did not think so at first, but I admit it now. God made Sibyl Vane for you. Without her you would have been incomplete."

"Don't listen to him, Dorian," Hallward said. "I get what you're saying, and I believe in this girl. Anyone you love must be amazing, and a girl who has the effect you’re talking about must be great and noble. Elevating one's time—that's something truly worthwhile. If this girl can give a soul to those who have lived without one, if she can inspire a sense of beauty in people whose lives have been grim and ugly, if she can remove their selfishness and help them feel empathy for sorrows that aren't theirs, she deserves all your love, and the love of the world. This marriage is completely right. I didn't think so at first, but I realize it now. God created Sibyl Vane for you. Without her, you would have been incomplete."

"Thanks, Basil," answered Dorian Gray, pressing his hand. "I [37] knew that you would understand me. Harry is so cynical, he terrifies me. But here is the orchestra. It is quite dreadful, but it only lasts for about five minutes. Then the curtain rises, and you will see the girl to whom I am going to give all my life, to whom I have given everything that is good in me."

"Thanks, Basil," Dorian Gray replied, shaking his hand. "I knew you would understand me. Harry is so cynical; he frightens me. But here’s the orchestra. It’s pretty awful, but it only lasts about five minutes. Then the curtain goes up, and you’ll see the girl I’m ready to dedicate my whole life to, the one to whom I’ve given everything good in me."

A quarter of an hour afterwards, amidst an extraordinary turmoil of applause, Sibyl Vane stepped on to the stage. Yes, she was certainly lovely to look at,--one of the loveliest creatures, Lord Henry thought, that he had ever seen. There was something of the fawn in her shy grace and startled eyes. A faint blush, like the shadow of a rose in a mirror of silver, came to her cheeks as she glanced at the crowded, enthusiastic house. She stepped back a few paces, and her lips seemed to tremble. Basil Hallward leaped to his feet and began to applaud. Dorian Gray sat motionless, gazing on her, like a man in a dream. Lord Henry peered through his opera-glass, murmuring, "Charming! charming!"

Fifteen minutes later, in the midst of an incredible wave of applause, Sibyl Vane stepped onto the stage. Yes, she was definitely beautiful to behold—one of the most stunning people, Lord Henry thought, that he had ever seen. There was something fawn-like in her shy grace and wide-eyed surprise. A light blush, resembling the reflection of a rose in a silver mirror, appeared on her cheeks as she looked at the packed, enthusiastic audience. She took a few steps back, and her lips seemed to quiver. Basil Hallward jumped to his feet and began to applaud. Dorian Gray sat still, staring at her, like a man lost in a dream. Lord Henry looked through his opera glasses, murmuring, "Charming! charming!"

The scene was the hall of Capulet's house, and Romeo in his pilgrim's dress had entered with Mercutio and his friends. The band, such as it was, struck up a few bars of music, and the dance began. Through the crowd of ungainly, shabbily-dressed actors, Sibyl Vane moved like a creature from a finer world. Her body swayed, as she danced, as a plant sways in the water. The curves of her throat were like the curves of a white lily. Her hands seemed to be made of cool ivory.

The scene was the hall of Capulet's house, and Romeo, dressed as a pilgrim, had come in with Mercutio and his friends. The band, whatever it was, played a few notes, and the dance started. Amid the crowd of awkward, poorly dressed actors, Sibyl Vane moved like someone from a better world. Her body swayed while she danced, like a plant swaying in water. The curves of her throat resembled the curves of a white lily. Her hands looked like they were made of cool ivory.

Yet she was curiously listless. She showed no sign of joy when her eyes rested on Romeo. The few lines she had to speak,--

Yet she was strangely unenergetic. She showed no hint of happiness when she looked at Romeo. The few lines she had to say,--

Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,
    Which mannerly devotion shows in this;
For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,
    And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss,--

Good pilgrim, you're being too hard on your hand,
    Which shows a respectful devotion;
For saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch,
    And palm to palm is a holy kiss of worshippers,--

with the brief dialogue that follows, were spoken in a thoroughly artificial manner. The voice was exquisite, but from the point of view of tone it was absolutely false. It was wrong in color. It took away all the life from the verse. It made the passion unreal.

with the brief dialogue that follows, were spoken in a completely fake way. The voice was beautiful, but in terms of tone, it was completely off. It was wrong in character. It drained all the energy from the verse. It made the emotion feel insincere.

Dorian Gray grew pale as he watched her. Neither of his friends dared to say anything to him. She seemed to them to be absolutely incompetent. They were horribly disappointed.

Dorian Gray became pale as he watched her. Neither of his friends dared to say anything to him. She appeared to them to be completely incompetent. They were incredibly disappointed.

Yet they felt that the true test of any Juliet is the balcony scene of the second act. They waited for that. If she failed there, there was nothing in her.

Yet they believed that the real test of any Juliet is the balcony scene in the second act. They anticipated that moment. If she messed up there, there was nothing to her.

She looked charming as she came out in the moonlight. That could not be denied. But the staginess of her acting was unbearable, and grew worse as she went on. Her gestures became absurdly artificial. She over-emphasized everything that she had to say. The beautiful passage,--

She looked lovely as she stepped out into the moonlight. That much was clear. But her dramatic flair was hard to handle, and it got worse as she continued. Her gestures felt ridiculously staged. She exaggerated everything she said. The beautiful passage,—

Thou knowest the mask of night is on my face,
Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek
For that which thou hast heard me speak to-night,--

You know the night covers my face,
Otherwise, a girl would blush on my cheek
For what you heard me say tonight,--

[38] was declaimed with the painful precision of a school-girl who has been taught to recite by some second-rate professor of elocution. When she leaned over the balcony and came to those wonderful lines,--

[38] was delivered with the awkward precision of a schoolgirl who has been taught to recite by some mediocre elocution instructor. When she leaned over the balcony and reached those beautiful lines,--

                        Although I joy in thee,
I have no joy of this contract to-night:
It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden;
Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be
Ere one can say, "It lightens." Sweet, good-night!
This bud of love by summer's ripening breath
May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet,--

Although I find joy in you,
I’m not happy about this promise tonight:
It’s too hasty, too impulsive, too quick;
Too much like lightning, which is gone
Before you can say, "It’s lightning." Sweet, good-night!
This budding love, with summer’s warming breath,
May turn into a beautiful flower when we meet again,--

she spoke the words as if they conveyed no meaning to her. It was not nervousness. Indeed, so far from being nervous, she seemed absolutely self-contained. It was simply bad art. She was a complete failure.

she spoke the words as if they had no meaning to her. It wasn’t nervousness. In fact, far from being nervous, she seemed completely composed. It was just poor performance. She was a total failure.

Even the common uneducated audience of the pit and gallery lost their interest in the play. They got restless, and began to talk loudly and to whistle. The Jew manager, who was standing at the back of the dress-circle, stamped and swore with rage. The only person unmoved was the girl herself.

Even the regular uneducated crowd in the pit and gallery lost interest in the play. They grew restless, started talking loudly, and whistling. The Jewish manager, who was standing at the back of the dress circle, stomped his feet and cursed in anger. The only person who remained unaffected was the girl herself.

When the second act was over there came a storm of hisses, and Lord Henry got up from his chair and put on his coat. "She is quite beautiful, Dorian," he said, "but she can't act. Let us go."

When the second act was over, there was a storm of hisses, and Lord Henry got up from his chair and put on his coat. "She's really beautiful, Dorian," he said, "but she can't act. Let's go."

"I am going to see the play through," answered the lad, in a hard, bitter voice. "I am awfully sorry that I have made you waste an evening, Harry. I apologize to both of you."

"I’m going to watch the play all the way through," the boy replied, his voice sharp and resentful. "I’m really sorry for making you waste an evening, Harry. I apologize to both of you."

"My dear Dorian, I should think Miss Vane was ill," interrupted Hallward. "We will come some other night."

"My dear Dorian, I think Miss Vane must be sick," Hallward interrupted. "Let's come another night."

"I wish she was ill," he rejoined. "But she seems to me to be simply callous and cold. She has entirely altered. Last night she was a great artist. To-night she is merely a commonplace, mediocre actress."

"I wish she were sick," he replied. "But to me, she just seems heartless and distant. She's completely changed. Last night, she was a brilliant artist. Tonight, she's just an average, mediocre actress."

"Don't talk like that about any one you love, Dorian. Love is a more wonderful thing than art."

"Don’t speak like that about anyone you love, Dorian. Love is a more amazing thing than art."

"They are both simply forms of imitation," murmured Lord Henry. "But do let us go. Dorian, you must not stay here any longer. It is not good for one's morals to see bad acting. Besides, I don't suppose you will want your wife to act. So what does it matter if she plays Juliet like a wooden doll? She is very lovely, and if she knows as little about life as she does about acting, she will be a delightful experience. There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating,--people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing. Good heavens, my dear boy, don't look so tragic! The secret of remaining young is never to have an emotion that is unbecoming. Come to the club with Basil and myself. We will smoke cigarettes and drink to the beauty of Sibyl Vane. She is beautiful. What more can you want?"

"They're just different forms of imitation," Lord Henry murmured. "But let’s get out of here. Dorian, you shouldn’t stay any longer. It’s not good for your morals to watch bad acting. Besides, I doubt you want your wife to perform. So what does it matter if she plays Juliet like a wooden doll? She’s gorgeous, and if she knows as little about life as she does about acting, she’ll be a delightful experience. There are really only two kinds of people who are truly fascinating—those who know everything and those who know nothing at all. Good heavens, my dear boy, don’t look so tragic! The secret to staying young is never having an emotion that doesn’t suit you. Come to the club with Basil and me. We’ll smoke cigarettes and drink to the beauty of Sibyl Vane. She is beautiful. What more could you want?"

"Please go away, Harry," cried the lad. "I really want to be alone.--Basil, you don't mind my asking you to go? Ah! can't you see that my heart is breaking?" The hot tears came to his eyes. His [39] lips trembled, and, rushing to the back of the box, he leaned up against the wall, hiding his face in his hands.

"Please leave, Harry," the boy exclaimed. "I really need some time alone. --Basil, you don’t mind me asking you to go, right? Ah! Can't you see that my heart is breaking?" Hot tears filled his eyes. His lips quivered, and, rushing to the back of the box, he leaned against the wall, hiding his face in his hands.

"Let us go, Basil," said Lord Henry, with a strange tenderness in his voice; and the two young men passed out together.

"Let's go, Basil," said Lord Henry, with a strange kindness in his voice; and the two young men went out together.

A few moments afterwards the footlights flared up, and the curtain rose on the third act. Dorian Gray went back to his seat. He looked pale, and proud, and indifferent. The play dragged on, and seemed interminable. Half of the audience went out, tramping in heavy boots, and laughing. The whole thing was a fiasco. The last act was played to almost empty benches.

A few moments later, the stage lights brightened, and the curtain went up on the third act. Dorian Gray returned to his seat. He looked pale, proud, and indifferent. The play dragged on and felt never-ending. Half of the audience left, stomping in heavy boots and laughing. The whole thing was a disaster. The last act was performed in front of almost empty seats.

As soon as it was over, Dorian Gray rushed behind the scenes into the greenroom. The girl was standing alone there, with a look of triumph on her face. Her eyes were lit with an exquisite fire. There was a radiance about her. Her parted lips were smiling over some secret of their own.

As soon as it was over, Dorian Gray rushed backstage into the greenroom. The girl was standing alone there, with a look of victory on her face. Her eyes sparkled with an incredible intensity. There was a glow about her. Her slightly parted lips smiled as if she held a secret of her own.

When he entered, she looked at him, and an expression of infinite joy came over her. "How badly I acted to-night, Dorian!" she cried.

When he walked in, she looked at him, and a look of pure joy spread across her face. "I really messed up tonight, Dorian!" she exclaimed.

"Horribly!" he answered, gazing at her in amazement,--"horribly! It was dreadful. Are you ill? You have no idea what it was. You have no idea what I suffered."

"Horribly!" he replied, staring at her in shock, "horribly! It was awful. Are you okay? You have no idea what it was like. You have no idea what I went through."

The girl smiled. "Dorian," she answered, lingering over his name with long-drawn music in her voice, as though it were sweeter than honey to the red petals of her lips,--"Dorian, you should have understood. But you understand now, don't you?"

The girl smiled. "Dorian," she replied, drawing out his name with a melodious tone in her voice, as if it were sweeter than honey on her red lips, --"Dorian, you should have understood. But you get it now, right?"

"Understand what?" he asked, angrily.

"Understand what?" he asked, angrily.

"Why I was so bad to-night. Why I shall always be bad. Why I shall never act well again."

"Why I was so awful tonight. Why I will always be awful. Why I will never perform well again."

He shrugged his shoulders. "You are ill, I suppose. When you are ill you shouldn't act. You make yourself ridiculous. My friends were bored. I was bored."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess you're sick. When you're sick, you shouldn't perform. You just make a fool of yourself. My friends were bored. I was bored."

She seemed not to listen to him. She was transfigured with joy. An ecstasy of happiness dominated her.

She didn't seem to be listening to him. She was filled with joy. A blissful happiness overwhelmed her.

"Dorian, Dorian," she cried, "before I knew you, acting was the one reality of my life. It was only in the theatre that I lived. I thought that it was all true. I was Rosalind one night, and Portia the other. The joy of Beatrice was my joy, and the sorrows of Cordelia were mine also. I believed in everything. The common people who acted with me seemed to me to be godlike. The painted scenes were my world. I knew nothing but shadows, and I thought them real. You came,--oh, my beautiful love!--and you freed my soul from prison. You taught me what reality really is. To-night, for the first time in my life, I saw through the hollowness, the sham, the silliness, of the empty pageant in which I had always played. To-night, for the first time, I became conscious that the Romeo was hideous, and old, and painted, that the moonlight in the orchard was false, that the scenery was vulgar, and that the words I had to speak were unreal, were not my words, not what I wanted to say. You had brought me something higher, something of which all art is but a reflection. You have made me understand what love really is. My love! my love! I am sick [40] of shadows. You are more to me than all art can ever be. What have I to do with the puppets of a play? When I came on to-night, I could not understand how it was that everything had gone from me. Suddenly it dawned on my soul what it all meant. The knowledge was exquisite to me. I heard them hissing, and I smiled. What should they know of love? Take me away, Dorian--take me away with you, where we can be quite alone. I hate the stage. I might mimic a passion that I do not feel, but I cannot mimic one that burns me like fire. Oh, Dorian, Dorian, you understand now what it all means? Even if I could do it, it would be profanation for me to play at being in love. You have made me see that."

"Dorian, Dorian," she cried, "before I met you, acting was the only real thing in my life. I lived only in the theater. I thought it was all real. One night I was Rosalind, and the next I was Portia. The joy of Beatrice was my joy, and the sorrows of Cordelia were mine too. I believed in everything. The ordinary people acting alongside me seemed like gods. The painted sets were my world. I knew nothing but shadows, and I thought they were real. Then you came—oh, my beautiful love!—and you freed my soul from captivity. You showed me what reality truly is. Tonight, for the first time in my life, I saw through the emptiness, the falsehood, the ridiculousness of the shallow spectacle I had always performed in. Tonight, for the first time, I realized that Romeo was ugly, old, and painted, that the moonlight in the orchard was fake, that the scenery was tacky, and that the words I had to say weren’t mine, weren’t what I wanted to express. You brought me something greater, something that all art only reflects. You helped me understand what love really is. My love! my love! I'm so tired of shadows. You mean more to me than all art ever could. What do I have to do with the puppets of a play? When I came on stage tonight, I couldn't understand why everything felt empty. Suddenly, it became clear to my soul what it all meant. The understanding was exquisite. I heard them hissing, and I smiled. What do they know about love? Take me away, Dorian—take me away with you, where we can be completely alone. I hate the stage. I could pretend to feel a passion I don’t have, but I can’t fake one that burns inside me like fire. Oh, Dorian, Dorian, do you understand what it all means now? Even if I could do it, it would be sacrilege for me to act in love. You've made me see that."

He flung himself down on the sofa, and turned away his face. "You have killed my love," he muttered.

He threw himself onto the sofa and turned his face away. "You've killed my love," he mumbled.

She looked at him in wonder, and laughed. He made no answer. She came across to him, and stroked his hair with her little fingers. She knelt down and pressed his hands to her lips. He drew them away, and a shudder ran through him.

She looked at him in awe and laughed. He didn't respond. She walked over to him and ran her small fingers through his hair. She knelt down and kissed his hands. He pulled them away, and a shiver went through him.

Then he leaped up, and went to the door. "Yes," he cried, "you have killed my love. You used to stir my imagination. Now you don't even stir my curiosity. You simply produce no effect. I loved you because you were wonderful, because you had genius and intellect, because you realized the dreams of great poets and gave shape and substance to the shadows of art. You have thrown it all away. You are shallow and stupid. My God! how mad I was to love you! What a fool I have been! You are nothing to me now. I will never see you again. I will never think of you. I will never mention your name. You don't know what you were to me, once. Why, once . . . . Oh, I can't bear to think of it! I wish I had never laid eyes upon you! You have spoiled the romance of my life. How little you can know of love, if you say it mars your art! What are you without your art? Nothing. I would have made you famous, splendid, magnificent. The world would have worshipped you, and you would have belonged to me. What are you now? A third-rate actress with a pretty face."

Then he jumped up and went to the door. "Yes," he shouted, "you've killed my love. You used to inspire my imagination. Now, you don't even spark my curiosity. You simply have no impact. I loved you because you were amazing, because you had talent and intelligence, because you brought the dreams of great poets to life and gave form to the shadows of art. You've thrown it all away. You're shallow and foolish. My God! how crazy I was to love you! What a fool I've been! You mean nothing to me now. I'll never see you again. I'll never think of you. I'll never mention your name. You have no idea what you once meant to me. Why, once... Oh, I can't stand to think about it! I wish I had never laid eyes on you! You've ruined the romance of my life. How little you can understand love if you say it ruins your art! What are you without your art? Nothing. I could have made you famous, glorious, magnificent. The world would have adored you, and you would have been mine. What are you now? A third-rate actress with a pretty face."

The girl grew white, and trembled. She clinched her hands together, and her voice seemed to catch in her throat. "You are not serious, Dorian?" she murmured. "You are acting."

The girl turned pale and shook. She squeezed her hands together, and her voice was barely audible. "You're not serious, Dorian?" she whispered. "You're just acting."

"Acting! I leave that to you. You do it so well," he answered, bitterly.

"Acting! I’ll leave that to you. You do it so well," he replied, bitterly.

She rose from her knees, and, with a piteous expression of pain in her face, came across the room to him. She put her hand upon his arm, and looked into his eyes. He thrust her back. "Don't touch me!" he cried.

She got up off her knees, and with a look of deep pain on her face, walked across the room to him. She placed her hand on his arm and looked into his eyes. He pushed her away. "Don't touch me!" he yelled.

A low moan broke from her, and she flung herself at his feet, and lay there like a trampled flower. "Dorian, Dorian, don't leave me!" she whispered. "I am so sorry I didn't act well. I was thinking of you all the time. But I will try,--indeed, I will try. It came so suddenly across me, my love for you. I think I should never have known it if you had not kissed me,--if we had not kissed each other. Kiss me again, my love. Don't go away from me. I couldn't bear it. Can't you forgive me for to-night? I will work so hard, and try to [41] improve. Don't be cruel to me because I love you better than anything in the world. After all, it is only once that I have not pleased you. But you are quite right, Dorian. I should have shown myself more of an artist. It was foolish of me; and yet I couldn't help it. Oh, don't leave me, don't leave me." A fit of passionate sobbing choked her. She crouched on the floor like a wounded thing, and Dorian Gray, with his beautiful eyes, looked down at her, and his chiselled lips curled in exquisite disdain. There is always something ridiculous about the passions of people whom one has ceased to love. Sibyl Vane seemed to him to be absurdly melodramatic. Her tears and sobs annoyed him.

A low moan escaped her, and she threw herself at his feet, lying there like a crushed flower. “Dorian, Dorian, please don’t leave me!” she whispered. “I’m so sorry I didn’t perform well. I was thinking about you the whole time. But I will try—really, I will try. My love for you hit me so suddenly. I don’t think I would have realized it if you hadn’t kissed me—if we hadn’t kissed each other. Kiss me again, my love. Don’t walk away from me. I couldn’t handle it. Can you forgive me for tonight? I will work so hard and try to [41] improve. Please don’t be cruel to me because I love you more than anything in the world. After all, it’s just once that I haven’t pleased you. But you’re completely right, Dorian. I should have shown more artistry. It was foolish of me, and yet I couldn’t help it. Oh, don’t leave me, don’t leave me.” A fit of passionate sobbing choked her. She crouched on the floor like a wounded animal, and Dorian Gray, with his beautiful eyes, looked down at her, his chiseled lips curling in exquisite disdain. There’s always something ridiculous about the feelings of people you’ve stopped loving. To him, Sibyl Vane seemed absurdly melodramatic. Her tears and sobs irritated him.

"I am going," he said at last, in his calm, clear voice. "I don't wish to be unkind, but I can't see you again. You have disappointed me."

"I’m leaving," he finally said, in his calm, clear voice. "I don’t want to be cruel, but I can’t see you again. You’ve let me down."

She wept silently, and made no answer, but crept nearer to him. Her little hands stretched blindly out, and appeared to be seeking for him. He turned on his heel, and left the room. In a few moments he was out of the theatre.

She cried quietly and didn’t respond, but inched closer to him. Her small hands reached out, seemingly looking for him. He turned on his heel and walked out of the room. Moments later, he was outside the theater.

Where he went to, he hardly knew. He remembered wandering through dimly-lit streets with gaunt black-shadowed archways and evil-looking houses. Women with hoarse voices and harsh laughter had called after him. Drunkards had reeled by cursing, and chattering to themselves like monstrous apes. He had seen grotesque children huddled upon door-steps, and had heard shrieks and oaths from gloomy courts.

Where he ended up, he barely knew. He remembered wandering through dimly lit streets with thin, dark archways and menacing houses. Women with rough voices and loud laughter had called out to him. Drunks had stumbled by, cursing and mumbling to themselves like monstrous apes. He had seen bizarre children huddled on doorsteps and heard screams and profanity coming from dark courtyards.

When the dawn was just breaking he found himself at Covent Garden. Huge carts filled with nodding lilies rumbled slowly down the polished empty street. The air was heavy with the perfume of the flowers, and their beauty seemed to bring him an anodyne for his pain. He followed into the market, and watched the men unloading their wagons. A white-smocked carter offered him some cherries. He thanked him, wondered why he refused to accept any money for them, and began to eat them listlessly. They had been plucked at midnight, and the coldness of the moon had entered into them. A long line of boys carrying crates of striped tulips, and of yellow and red roses, defiled in front of him, threading their way through the huge jade-green piles of vegetables. Under the portico, with its gray sun-bleached pillars, loitered a troop of draggled bareheaded girls, waiting for the auction to be over. After some time he hailed a hansom and drove home. The sky was pure opal now, and the roofs of the houses glistened like silver against it. As he was passing through the library towards the door of his bedroom, his eye fell upon the portrait Basil Hallward had painted of him. He started back in surprise, and then went over to it and examined it. In the dim arrested light that struggled through the cream-colored silk blinds, the face seemed to him to be a little changed. The expression looked different. One would have said that there was a touch of cruelty in the mouth. It was certainly curious.

When dawn was just breaking, he found himself at Covent Garden. Huge carts filled with nodding lilies rumbled slowly down the polished empty street. The air was thick with the scent of the flowers, and their beauty seemed to provide some relief from his pain. He entered the market and watched the men unloading their wagons. A carter in a white smock offered him some cherries. He thanked him, puzzled as to why he didn't want any money for them, and began to eat them absentmindedly. They had been picked at midnight, and the chill of the moon seemed to have seeped into them. A long line of boys carrying crates of striped tulips and yellow and red roses passed by him, weaving through the massive jade-green piles of vegetables. Under the portico, with its gray sun-bleached pillars, a group of disheveled girls stood around, waiting for the auction to be over. After a while, he hailed a hansom and rode home. The sky was now a clear opal, and the rooftops sparkled like silver against it. As he walked through the library toward his bedroom door, his gaze fell on the portrait Basil Hallward had painted of him. He stepped back in surprise, then went over to examine it. In the dim, filtered light that struggled through the cream-colored silk blinds, the face appeared a little changed to him. The expression looked different. One could have said there was a hint of cruelty in the mouth. It was certainly intriguing.

He turned round, and, walking to the window, drew the blinds up. The bright dawn flooded the room, and swept the fantastic shadows [42] into dusky corners, where they lay shuddering. But the strange expression that he had noticed in the face of the portrait seemed to linger there, to be more intensified even. The quivering, ardent sunlight showed him the lines of cruelty round the mouth as clearly as if he had been looking into a mirror after he had done some dreadful thing.

He turned around, walked to the window, and pulled up the blinds. The bright dawn poured into the room, pushing the strange shadows into dark corners, where they lay trembling. But the odd expression he had seen in the portrait's face seemed to hang in the air, even more intense now. The shaking, intense sunlight revealed the cruel lines around the mouth as clearly as if he had been looking in a mirror after doing something terrible.

He winced, and, taking up from the table an oval glass framed in ivory Cupids, that Lord Henry had given him, he glanced hurriedly into it. No line like that warped his red lips. What did it mean?

He flinched, and, picking up an oval glass framed in ivory Cupids that Lord Henry had given him, he quickly glanced into it. No line like that distorted his red lips. What did it mean?

He rubbed his eyes, and came close to the picture, and examined it again. There were no signs of any change when he looked into the actual painting, and yet there was no doubt that the whole expression had altered. It was not a mere fancy of his own. The thing was horribly apparent.

He rubbed his eyes, stepped closer to the picture, and looked at it again. There were no signs of any change when he inspected the actual painting, yet there was no doubt that the entire expression had shifted. It wasn't just his imagination. The difference was painfully obvious.

He threw himself into a chair, and began to think. Suddenly there flashed across his mind what he had said in Basil Hallward's studio the day the picture had been finished. Yes, he remembered it perfectly. He had uttered a mad wish that he himself might remain young, and the portrait grow old; that his own beauty might be untarnished, and the face on the canvas bear the burden of his passions and his sins; that the painted image might be seared with the lines of suffering and thought, and that he might keep all the delicate bloom and loveliness of his then just conscious boyhood. Surely his prayer had not been answered? Such things were impossible. It seemed monstrous even to think of them. And, yet, there was the picture before him, with the touch of cruelty in the mouth.

He sank into a chair and started to think. Suddenly, he recalled what he had said in Basil Hallward's studio the day the portrait was finished. Yes, he remembered it clearly. He had made a crazy wish that he could stay young while the painting aged; that his own beauty could remain untouched while the face on the canvas bore the weight of his passions and sins; that the painted image could show the signs of suffering and deep thoughts while he kept all the delicate charm and beauty of his youthful self. Surely his wish hadn’t been granted? Such things were impossible. It felt outrageous even to consider them. And yet, there was the portrait in front of him, with a hint of cruelty in the mouth.

Cruelty! Had he been cruel? It was the girl's fault, not his. He had dreamed of her as a great artist, had given his love to her because he had thought her great. Then she had disappointed him. She had been shallow and unworthy. And, yet, a feeling of infinite regret came over him, as he thought of her lying at his feet sobbing like a little child. He remembered with what callousness he had watched her. Why had he been made like that? Why had such a soul been given to him? But he had suffered also. During the three terrible hours that the play had lasted, he had lived centuries of pain, aeon upon aeon of torture. His life was well worth hers. She had marred him for a moment, if he had wounded her for an age. Besides, women were better suited to bear sorrow than men. They lived on their emotions. They only thought of their emotions. When they took lovers, it was merely to have some one with whom they could have scenes. Lord Henry had told him that, and Lord Henry knew what women were. Why should he trouble about Sibyl Vane? She was nothing to him now.

Cruelty! Had he been cruel? It was the girl's fault, not his. He had envisioned her as a great artist and had loved her because he believed she was exceptional. Then she had let him down. She had been shallow and unworthy. And yet, a wave of deep regret washed over him as he thought of her lying at his feet, sobbing like a little child. He remembered how coldly he had observed her. Why had he been made this way? Why had he been given such a soul? But he had suffered too. During the three awful hours that the play had lasted, he had experienced centuries of pain, aeons of torture. His life was worth more than hers. She had scarred him for a moment, if he had hurt her for a lifetime. Besides, women were better at handling sorrow than men. They thrived on their emotions. They only thought about their feelings. When they took lovers, it was just to have someone to share dramatic moments with. Lord Henry had told him that, and Lord Henry understood women. Why should he care about Sibyl Vane? She meant nothing to him now.

But the picture? What was he to say of that? It held the secret of his life, and told his story. It had taught him to love his own beauty. Would it teach him to loathe his own soul? Would he ever look at it again?

But the picture? What was he supposed to say about it? It held the secret of his life and told his story. It had taught him to love his own beauty. Would it teach him to hate his own soul? Would he ever look at it again?

No; it was merely an illusion wrought on the troubled senses. The horrible night that he had passed had left phantoms behind it. Suddenly there had fallen upon his brain that tiny scarlet speck that [43] makes men mad. The picture had not changed. It was folly to think so.

No; it was just an illusion created by his troubled mind. The terrible night he had gone through had left behind ghosts. Suddenly, a tiny red spot had appeared in his mind that drives people insane. The image hadn’t changed. It was foolish to think otherwise.

Yet it was watching him, with its beautiful marred face and its cruel smile. Its bright hair gleamed in the early sunlight. Its blue eyes met his own. A sense of infinite pity, not for himself, but for the painted image of himself, came over him. It had altered already, and would alter more. Its gold would wither into gray. Its red and white roses would die. For every sin that he committed, a stain would fleck and wreck its fairness. But he would not sin. The picture, changed or unchanged, would be to him the visible emblem of conscience. He would resist temptation. He would not see Lord Henry any more,--would not, at any rate, listen to those subtle poisonous theories that in Basil Hallward's garden had first stirred within him the passion for impossible things. He would go back to Sibyl Vane, make her amends, marry her, try to love her again. Yes, it was his duty to do so. She must have suffered more than he had. Poor child! He had been selfish and cruel to her. The fascination that she had exercised over him would return. They would be happy together. His life with her would be beautiful and pure.

Yet it was watching him, with its beautiful yet marred face and cruel smile. Its bright hair shone in the early sunlight. Its blue eyes met his. A sense of endless pity washed over him, not for himself, but for the painted image of himself. It had already started to change, and would change even more. Its gold would fade into gray. Its red and white roses would wither away. With each sin he committed, a stain would tarnish its beauty. But he wouldn’t sin. The picture, whether altered or not, would be for him the visible symbol of his conscience. He would resist temptation. He wouldn’t see Lord Henry again—he wouldn’t, at least, listen to those subtle, toxic theories that had first ignited the desire for impossible things in Basil Hallward's garden. He would return to Sibyl Vane, make things right, marry her, and try to love her again. Yes, he had a duty to do that. She must have suffered more than he had. Poor girl! He had been selfish and cruel to her. The allure she held over him would come back. They would be happy together. His life with her would be beautiful and pure.

He got up from his chair, and drew a large screen right in front of the portrait, shuddering as he glanced at it. "How horrible!" he murmured to himself, and he walked across to the window and opened it. When he stepped out on the grass, he drew a deep breath. The fresh morning air seemed to drive away all his sombre passions. He thought only of Sibyl Vane. A faint echo of his love came back to him. He repeated her name over and over again. The birds that were singing in the dew-drenched garden seemed to be telling the flowers about her.

He stood up from his chair and pulled a large screen in front of the portrait, shuddering as he glanced at it. "How awful!" he whispered to himself, then walked over to the window and opened it. As he stepped out onto the grass, he took a deep breath. The fresh morning air seemed to clear away all his dark emotions. He thought only of Sibyl Vane. A faint echo of his love came back to him. He repeated her name over and over. The birds singing in the dew-soaked garden seemed to be sharing her story with the flowers.




CHAPTER VI

[...43] It was long past noon when he awoke. His valet had crept several times into the room on tiptoe to see if he was stirring, and had wondered what made his young master sleep so late. Finally his bell sounded, and Victor came in softly with a cup of tea, and a pile of letters, on a small tray of old Sèvres china, and drew back the olive-satin curtains, with their shimmering blue lining, that hung in front of the three tall windows.

[...43] It was well past noon when he finally woke up. His servant had sneaked into the room several times on tiptoe to check if he was stirring and had been puzzled about why his young master was sleeping in so late. Finally, the bell rang, and Victor came in quietly with a cup of tea and a stack of letters on a small tray of vintage Sèvres china. He pulled back the olive-satin curtains, lined with shimmering blue, that hung in front of the three tall windows.

"Monsieur has well slept this morning," he said, smiling.

"Monsieur slept well this morning," he said, smiling.

"What o'clock is it, Victor?" asked Dorian Gray, sleepily.

"What time is it, Victor?" Dorian Gray asked sleepily.

"One hour and a quarter, monsieur."

"One hour and fifteen minutes, sir."

How late it was! He sat up, and, having sipped some tea, turned over his letters. One of them was from Lord Henry, and had been brought by hand that morning. He hesitated for a moment, and then put it aside. The others he opened listlessly. They contained the usual collection of cards, invitations to dinner, tickets for private views, programmes of charity concerts, and the like, that are showered on fashionable young men every morning during the season. There was a [44] rather heavy bill, for a chased silver Louis-Quinze toilet-set, that he had not yet had the courage to send on to his guardians, who were extremely old-fashioned people and did not realize that we live in an age when only unnecessary things are absolutely necessary to us; and there were several very courteously worded communications from Jermyn Street money-lenders offering to advance any sum of money at a moment's notice and at the most reasonable rates of interest.

How late it was! He sat up, and after taking a sip of tea, he sorted through his letters. One was from Lord Henry, delivered by hand that morning. He hesitated for a moment and then set it aside. The others he opened without much interest. They included the usual mix of cards, dinner invitations, tickets for private viewings, programs for charity concerts, and similar items that fashionable young men receive every morning during the season. There was a rather hefty bill for a fancy silver Louis-Quinze toilet set that he hadn’t yet found the courage to forward to his guardians, who were quite old-fashioned and didn’t understand that we live in a time when only unnecessary things are truly essential to us; and there were several politely worded letters from money-lenders on Jermyn Street, offering to lend any amount of money at a moment’s notice and at very reasonable interest rates.

After about ten minutes he got up, and, throwing on an elaborate dressing-gown, passed into the onyx-paved bath-room. The cool water refreshed him after his long sleep. He seemed to have forgotten all that he had gone through. A dim sense of having taken part in some strange tragedy came to him once or twice, but there was the unreality of a dream about it.

After about ten minutes, he got up and, putting on a fancy robe, walked into the bathroom with onyx floors. The cool water refreshed him after his long sleep. He seemed to have forgotten everything he had been through. A faint feeling of having been part of some strange tragedy crossed his mind a couple of times, but it felt unreal, like a dream.

As soon as he was dressed, he went into the library and sat down to a light French breakfast, that had been laid out for him on a small round table close to an open window. It was an exquisite day. The warm air seemed laden with spices. A bee flew in, and buzzed round the blue-dragon bowl, filled with sulphur-yellow roses, that stood in front of him. He felt perfectly happy.

Once he got dressed, he headed to the library and sat down to a light French breakfast that had been set up for him on a small round table near an open window. It was a beautiful day. The warm air felt rich with spices. A bee flew in and buzzed around the blue-dragon bowl filled with bright yellow roses sitting in front of him. He felt completely happy.

Suddenly his eye fell on the screen that he had placed in front of the portrait, and he started.

Suddenly, he noticed the screen he had set up in front of the portrait, and he was taken aback.

"Too cold for Monsieur?" asked his valet, putting an omelette on the table. "I shut the window?"

"Is it too cold for you, sir?" asked his valet, placing an omelette on the table. "Should I close the window?"

Dorian shook his head. "I am not cold," he murmured.

Dorian shook his head. "I'm not cold," he said softly.

Was it all true? Had the portrait really changed? Or had it been simply his own imagination that had made him see a look of evil where there had been a look of joy? Surely a painted canvas could not alter? The thing was absurd. It would serve as a tale to tell Basil some day. It would make him smile.

Was it all true? Had the painting really changed? Or had it just been his imagination making him see a look of evil where there had once been a look of joy? Surely a painted canvas couldn't change? It was ridiculous. It would be a story to share with Basil someday. It would make him smile.

And, yet, how vivid was his recollection of the whole thing! First in the dim twilight, and then in the bright dawn, he had seen the touch of cruelty in the warped lips. He almost dreaded his valet leaving the room. He knew that when he was alone he would have to examine the portrait. He was afraid of certainty. When the coffee and cigarettes had been brought and the man turned to go, he felt a mad desire to tell him to remain. As the door closed behind him he called him back. The man stood waiting for his orders. Dorian looked at him for a moment. "I am not at home to any one, Victor," he said, with a sigh. The man bowed and retired.

And yet, how clear his memory of the whole thing was! First in the dim twilight, then in the bright dawn, he had seen the cruelty in the twisted lips. He almost dreaded his valet leaving the room. He knew that when he was alone, he would have to look at the portrait. He was afraid of knowing for sure. When the coffee and cigarettes were brought in and the man turned to leave, he felt a wild urge to tell him to stay. As the door closed behind him, he called him back. The man stood there waiting for his orders. Dorian looked at him for a moment. "I’m not home to anyone, Victor," he said with a sigh. The man bowed and left.

He rose from the table, lit a cigarette, and flung himself down on a luxuriously-cushioned couch that stood facing the screen. The screen was an old one of gilt Spanish leather, stamped and wrought with a rather florid Louis-Quatorze pattern. He scanned it curiously, wondering if it had ever before concealed the secret of a man's life.

He got up from the table, lit a cigarette, and threw himself onto a plush couch that faced the screen. The screen was an old one made of gilded Spanish leather, embossed with an elaborate Louis XIV design. He looked at it with curiosity, wondering if it had ever hidden the secrets of a man's life.

Should he move it aside, after all? Why not let it stay there? What was the use of knowing? If the thing was true, it was terrible. If it was not true, why trouble about it? But what if, by some fate or deadlier chance, other eyes than his spied behind, and saw the horrible change? What should he do if Basil Hallward came and asked to look at his own picture? He would be sure to do that. No; the [45] thing had to be examined, and at once. Anything would be better than this dreadful state of doubt.

Should he move it aside after all? Why not just leave it there? What good would it do to know? If it was true, it was awful. If it wasn't true, why worry about it? But what if, by some twist of fate or worse luck, someone else's eyes spied from behind and saw the terrible change? What would he do if Basil Hallward came and asked to see his own portrait? He would definitely want to. No; this thing needed to be examined, and quickly. Anything would be better than this awful uncertainty.

He got up, and locked both doors. At least he would be alone when he looked upon the mask of his shame. Then he drew the screen aside, and saw himself face to face. It was perfectly true. The portrait had altered.

He got up and locked both doors. At least he would be alone when he faced the mask of his shame. Then he moved the screen aside and saw himself eye to eye. It was completely true. The portrait had changed.

As he often remembered afterwards, and always with no small wonder, he found himself at first gazing at the portrait with a feeling of almost scientific interest. That such a change should have taken place was incredible to him. And yet it was a fact. Was there some subtle affinity between the chemical atoms, that shaped themselves into form and color on the canvas, and the soul that was within him? Could it be that what that soul thought, they realized?--that what it dreamed, they made true? Or was there some other, more terrible reason? He shuddered, and felt afraid, and, going back to the couch, lay there, gazing at the picture in sickened horror.

As he often remembered later, always with a sense of disbelief, he found himself first staring at the portrait with an almost scientific curiosity. The change that had happened was unbelievable to him. And yet it was real. Was there some hidden connection between the chemical atoms that formed shapes and colors on the canvas and the soul inside him? Could it be that what that soul envisioned, they brought to life?—that what it dreamed, they made into reality? Or was there some other, more horrifying reason? He shuddered and felt afraid, and, returning to the couch, lay there, staring at the picture in sickened horror.

One thing, however, he felt that it had done for him. It had made him conscious how unjust, how cruel, he had been to Sibyl Vane. It was not too late to make reparation for that. She could still be his wife. His unreal and selfish love would yield to some higher influence, would be transformed into some nobler passion, and the portrait that Basil Hallward had painted of him would be a guide to him through life, would be to him what holiness was to some, and conscience to others, and the fear of God to us all. There were opiates for remorse, drugs that could lull the moral sense to sleep. But here was a visible symbol of the degradation of sin. Here was an ever-present sign of the ruin men brought upon their souls.

One thing, though, he realized it had done for him. It had made him aware of how unfair and cruel he had been to Sibyl Vane. It wasn’t too late to make amends for that. She could still be his wife. His unrealistic and selfish love could give way to something greater, could transform into a nobler passion, and the portrait that Basil Hallward had painted of him would serve as a guide through life, becoming for him what holiness is to some, and what conscience is to others, and what the fear of God is to all of us. There are ways to numb remorse, drugs that can put the moral sense to sleep. But this was a visible symbol of the degradation caused by sin. This was an ever-present reminder of the destruction people bring upon their own souls.

Three o'clock struck, and four, and half-past four, but he did not stir. He was trying to gather up the scarlet threads of life, and to weave them into a pattern; to find his way through the sanguine labyrinth of passion through which he was wandering. He did not know what to do, or what to think. Finally, he went over to the table and wrote a passionate letter to the girl he had loved, imploring her forgiveness, and accusing himself of madness. He covered page after page with wild words of sorrow, and wilder words of pain. There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves we feel that no one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution. When Dorian Gray had finished the letter, he felt that he had been forgiven.

Three o'clock came and went, then four, and half-past four, but he didn’t move. He was trying to piece together the tangled threads of his life and create a pattern; to navigate the intense maze of emotions he found himself in. He was unsure of what to do or think. Eventually, he went over to the table and wrote an intense letter to the girl he loved, begging for her forgiveness and calling himself insane. He filled page after page with frantic words of sorrow, and even more frantic words of pain. There’s a certain luxury in self-blame. When we criticize ourselves, we feel that no one else has the right to judge us. It’s the confession, not the priest, that offers us absolution. When Dorian Gray finished the letter, he felt like he had been forgiven.

Suddenly there came a knock to the door, and he heard Lord Henry's voice outside. "My dear Dorian, I must see you. Let me in at once. I can't bear your shutting yourself up like this."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and he heard Lord Henry's voice outside. "My dear Dorian, I need to see you. Let me in right now. I can't stand you isolating yourself like this."

He made no answer at first, but remained quite still. The knocking still continued, and grew louder. Yes, it was better to let Lord Henry in, and to explain to him the new life he was going to lead, to quarrel with him if it became necessary to quarrel, to part if parting was inevitable. He jumped up, drew the screen hastily across the picture, and unlocked the door.

He didn't respond at first and stayed completely still. The knocking kept going and got louder. Yes, it was better to let Lord Henry in and explain to him the new life he was planning to lead, to argue with him if it came to that, to split if they had to part ways. He quickly jumped up, pulled the screen across the painting, and unlocked the door.

"I am so sorry for it all, my dear boy," said Lord Henry, coming in. "But you must not think about it too much."

"I’m really sorry about everything, my dear boy," said Lord Henry as he walked in. "But you shouldn’t dwell on it too much."

[46] "Do you mean about Sibyl Vane?" asked Dorian.

[46] "Are you talking about Sibyl Vane?" Dorian asked.

"Yes, of course," answered Lord Henry, sinking into a chair, and slowly pulling his gloves off. "It is dreadful, from one point of view, but it was not your fault. Tell me, did you go behind and see her after the play was over?"

"Yeah, definitely," replied Lord Henry, settling into a chair and casually removing his gloves. "It’s terrible, in some ways, but it wasn’t your fault. So, did you go backstage and see her after the play wrapped up?"

"Yes."

Yes.

"I felt sure you had. Did you make a scene with her?"

"I was sure you did. Did you cause a scene with her?"

"I was brutal, Harry,--perfectly brutal. But it is all right now. I am not sorry for anything that has happened. It has taught me to know myself better."

"I was really harsh, Harry--totally harsh. But it's all good now. I'm not sorry for anything that happened. It’s helped me understand myself better."

"Ah, Dorian, I am so glad you take it in that way! I was afraid I would find you plunged in remorse, and tearing your nice hair."

"Ah, Dorian, I'm so glad you see it that way! I was worried I'd find you consumed by regret and pulling out your nice hair."

"I have got through all that," said Dorian, shaking his head, and smiling. "I am perfectly happy now. I know what conscience is, to begin with. It is not what you told me it was. It is the divinest thing in us. Don't sneer at it, Harry, any more,--at least not before me. I want to be good. I can't bear the idea of my soul being hideous."

"I've gotten through all that," Dorian said, shaking his head and smiling. "I'm perfectly happy now. I know what conscience is, for starters. It's not what you told me it was. It's the most divine thing in us. Don't mock it, Harry, anymore—at least not in front of me. I want to be good. I can't stand the thought of my soul being ugly."

"A very charming artistic basis for ethics, Dorian! I congratulate you on it. But how are you going to begin?"

"A very charming artistic foundation for ethics, Dorian! I congratulate you on that. But how are you going to start?"

"By marrying Sibyl Vane."

"By marrying Sibyl Vane."

"Marrying Sibyl Vane!" cried Lord Henry, standing up, and looking at him in perplexed amazement. "But, my dear Dorian--"

"Marrying Sibyl Vane!" exclaimed Lord Henry, standing up and gazing at him in confused disbelief. "But, my dear Dorian--"

"Yes, Harry, I know what you are going to say. Something dreadful about marriage. Don't say it. Don't ever say things of that kind to me again. Two days ago I asked Sibyl to marry me. I am not going to break my word to her. She is to be my wife."

"Yes, Harry, I know what you’re going to say. Something awful about marriage. Don’t say it. Don’t ever talk to me like that again. Two days ago, I asked Sibyl to marry me. I’m not going to go back on my word to her. She’s going to be my wife."

"Your wife! Dorian! . . . Didn't you get my letter? I wrote to you this morning, and sent the note down, by my own man."

"Your wife! Dorian! Didn’t you get my letter? I wrote to you this morning and sent the note down with my own guy."

"Your letter? Oh, yes, I remember. I have not read it yet, Harry. I was afraid there might be something in it that I wouldn't like."

"Your letter? Oh, right, I remember. I haven't read it yet, Harry. I was worried there might be something in it that I wouldn't like."

Lord Henry walked across the room, and, sitting down by Dorian Gray, took both his hands in his, and held them tightly. "Dorian," he said, "my letter--don't be frightened--was to tell you that Sibyl Vane is dead."

Lord Henry walked across the room, and, sitting down next to Dorian Gray, took both his hands in his and held them tightly. "Dorian," he said, "my letter—don’t be scared—was to tell you that Sibyl Vane is dead."

A cry of pain rose from the lad's lips, and he leaped to his feet, tearing his hands away from Lord Henry's grasp. "Dead! Sibyl dead! It is not true! It is a horrible lie!"

A cry of pain escaped the boy's lips, and he jumped to his feet, pulling his hands away from Lord Henry's grip. "Dead! Sibyl dead! That can't be true! It's a terrible lie!"

"It is quite true, Dorian," said Lord Henry, gravely. "It is in all the morning papers. I wrote down to you to ask you not to see any one till I came. There will have to be an inquest, of course, and you must not be mixed up in it. Things like that make a man fashionable in Paris. But in London people are so prejudiced. Here, one should never make one's début with a scandal. One should reserve that to give an interest to one's old age. I don't suppose they know your name at the theatre. If they don't, it is all right. Did any one see you going round to her room? That is an important point."

"It’s true, Dorian," Lord Henry said seriously. "It’s in all the morning papers. I wrote to ask you not to see anyone until I arrived. There will have to be an inquest, of course, and you shouldn’t get involved in it. Things like that can make a person fashionable in Paris. But in London, people are so judgmental. Here, you should never make your entrance with a scandal. You should save that to add some intrigue to your later years. I doubt they recognize your name at the theater. If they don’t, that’s good. Did anyone see you going to her room? That’s a key detail."

Dorian did not answer for a few moments. He was dazed with horror. Finally he murmured, in a stifled voice, "Harry, did you say an inquest? What did you mean by that? Did Sibyl--? Oh, [47] Harry, I can't bear it! But be quick. Tell me everything at once."

Dorian didn't reply for a few moments. He was overwhelmed with fear. Finally, he murmured in a trembling voice, "Harry, did you say an inquest? What did you mean by that? Did Sibyl--? Oh, Harry, I can't handle this! But hurry. Tell me everything right now."

"I have no doubt it was not an accident, Dorian, though it must be put in that way to the public. As she was leaving the theatre with her mother, about half-past twelve or so, she said she had forgotten something up-stairs. They waited some time for her, but she did not come down again. They ultimately found her lying dead on the floor of her dressing-room. She had swallowed something by mistake, some dreadful thing they use at theatres. I don't know what it was, but it had either prussic acid or white lead in it. I should fancy it was prussic acid, as she seems to have died instantaneously. It is very tragic, of course, but you must not get yourself mixed up in it. I see by the Standard that she was seventeen. I should have thought she was almost younger than that. She looked such a child, and seemed to know so little about acting. Dorian, you mustn't let this thing get on your nerves. You must come and dine with me, and afterwards we will look in at the Opera. It is a Patti night, and everybody will be there. You can come to my sister's box. She has got some smart women with her."

"I have no doubt it wasn’t an accident, Dorian, though it has to be presented that way to the public. As she was leaving the theater with her mother, around half-past twelve, she said she forgot something upstairs. They waited for a while for her, but she didn’t come down again. They eventually found her lying dead on the floor of her dressing room. She must have accidentally swallowed something really dangerous they use at theaters. I’m not sure what it was, but it had either prussic acid or white lead in it. I would guess it was prussic acid, since she seemed to have died instantly. It’s incredibly tragic, of course, but you need to stay out of it. I see in the Standard that she was seventeen. I would have guessed she was even younger than that. She seemed like such a child and didn’t know much about acting. Dorian, you can’t let this get to you. You should come and have dinner with me, and then we’ll check out the Opera. It’s a Patti night, and everyone will be there. You can join me in my sister’s box. She has some interesting women with her."

"So I have murdered Sibyl Vane," said Dorian Gray, half to himself,--"murdered her as certainly as if I had cut her little throat with a knife. And the roses are not less lovely for all that. The birds sing just as happily in my garden. And to-night I am to dine with you, and then go on to the Opera, and sup somewhere, I suppose, afterwards. How extraordinarily dramatic life is! If I had read all this in a book, Harry, I think I would have wept over it. Somehow, now that it has happened actually, and to me, it seems far too wonderful for tears. Here is the first passionate love-letter I have ever written in my life. Strange, that my first passionate love-letter should have been addressed to a dead girl. Can they feel, I wonder, those white silent people we call the dead? Sibyl! Can she feel, or know, or listen? Oh, Harry, how I loved her once! It seems years ago to me now. She was everything to me. Then came that dreadful night--was it really only last night?--when she played so badly, and my heart almost broke. She explained it all to me. It was terribly pathetic. But I was not moved a bit. I thought her shallow. Then something happened that made me afraid. I can't tell you what it was, but it was awful. I said I would go back to her. I felt I had done wrong. And now she is dead. My God! my God! Harry, what shall I do? You don't know the danger I am in, and there is nothing to keep me straight. She would have done that for me. She had no right to kill herself. It was selfish of her."

"So I’ve killed Sibyl Vane," Dorian Gray said, mostly to himself, "killed her just as certainly as if I had slit her throat with a knife. And the roses are still just as beautiful despite that. The birds sing just as joyfully in my garden. And tonight I’m dining with you, and then I’ll probably go to the Opera and have supper somewhere afterwards. Life is so incredibly dramatic! If I had read this in a book, Harry, I think I would have cried over it. Yet now that it’s actually happened to me, it feels far too amazing for tears. Here’s the first passionate love letter I’ve ever written in my life. How strange that my first passionate love letter is addressed to a dead girl. I wonder, can those silent, pale people we call the dead feel anything? Sibyl! Can she feel, know, or even listen? Oh, Harry, how I loved her once! It feels like it was years ago. She was everything to me. Then came that terrible night—was it really just last night?—when she performed so poorly, and my heart nearly shattered. She explained everything to me. It was devastatingly sad. But I wasn’t moved at all. I thought she was shallow. Then something happened that scared me. I can’t explain what it was, but it was awful. I said I would go back to her. I felt I had done something wrong. And now she’s dead. My God! My God! Harry, what should I do? You don’t understand the danger I’m in, and there’s nothing to keep me grounded. She would have done that for me. She had no right to take her own life. It was selfish of her."

"My dear Dorian, the only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life. If you had married this girl you would have been wretched. Of course you would have treated her kindly. One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing. But she would have soon found out that you were absolutely indifferent to her. And when a woman finds that out about her husband, she either becomes dreadfully dowdy, or wears very smart bonnets that some other woman's husband has to [48] pay for. I say nothing about the social mistake, but I assure you that in any case the whole thing would have been an absolute failure."

"My dear Dorian, the only way a woman can ever change a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all interest in life. If you had married this girl, you would have been miserable. Of course, you would have treated her kindly. You can always be nice to people you don't really care about. But she would have quickly realized that you were completely indifferent to her. And when a woman discovers that about her husband, she either becomes totally dowdy or wears stylish hats that some other woman's husband has to pay for. I'm not mentioning the social blunder, but I assure you that it would have been a total failure."

"I suppose it would," muttered the lad, walking up and down the room, and looking horribly pale. "But I thought it was my duty. It is not my fault that this terrible tragedy has prevented my doing what was right. I remember your saying once that there is a fatality about good resolutions,--that they are always made too late. Mine certainly were."

"I guess it would," the guy mumbled, pacing the room and looking really pale. "But I thought it was my responsibility. It's not my fault that this awful tragedy stopped me from doing what was right. I remember you once said that there’s something unfortunate about good intentions—that they always come too late. Mine definitely did."

"Good resolutions are simply a useless attempt to interfere with scientific laws. Their origin is pure vanity. Their result is absolutely nil. They give us, now and then, some of those luxurious sterile emotions that have a certain charm for us. That is all that can be said for them."

"Good resolutions are just a pointless effort to go against scientific laws. They come from pure vanity. The outcome is completely zero. Sometimes, they provide us with those extravagant but empty emotions that we find somewhat appealing. That's all there is to say about them."

"Harry," cried Dorian Gray, coming over and sitting down beside him, "why is it that I cannot feel this tragedy as much as I want to? I don't think I am heartless. Do you?"

"Harry," exclaimed Dorian Gray, coming over and sitting down next to him, "why can't I feel this tragedy as deeply as I want to? I don't think I'm heartless. Do you?"

"You have done too many foolish things in your life to be entitled to give yourself that name, Dorian," answered Lord Henry, with his sweet, melancholy smile.

"You've done way too many foolish things in your life to call yourself that name, Dorian," replied Lord Henry, with his charming, sad smile.

The lad frowned. "I don't like that explanation, Harry," he rejoined, "but I am glad you don't think I am heartless. I am nothing of the kind. I know I am not. And yet I must admit that this thing that has happened does not affect me as it should. It seems to me to be simply like a wonderful ending to a wonderful play. It has all the terrible beauty of a great tragedy, a tragedy in which I took part, but by which I have not been wounded."

The guy frowned. "I don't like that explanation, Harry," he replied, "but I'm glad you don’t think I’m heartless. I’m nothing of the sort. I know I’m not. And yet I have to admit that this thing that happened doesn’t affect me the way it should. To me, it feels like a fantastic ending to a great play. It has all the intense beauty of a major tragedy, a tragedy I was part of, but one that hasn’t hurt me."

"It is an interesting question," said Lord Henry, who found an exquisite pleasure in playing on the lad's unconscious egotism,--"an extremely interesting question. I fancy that the explanation is this. It often happens that the real tragedies of life occur in such an inartistic manner that they hurt us by their crude violence, their absolute incoherence, their absurd want of meaning, their entire lack of style. They affect us just as vulgarity affects us. They give us an impression of sheer brute force, and we revolt against that. Sometimes, however, a tragedy that has artistic elements of beauty crosses our lives. If these elements of beauty are real, the whole thing simply appeals to our sense of dramatic effect. Suddenly we find that we are no longer the actors, but the spectators of the play. Or rather we are both. We watch ourselves, and the mere wonder of the spectacle enthralls us. In the present case, what is it that has really happened? Some one has killed herself for love of you. I wish I had ever had such an experience. It would have made me in love with love for the rest of my life. The people who have adored me--there have not been very many, but there have been some--have always insisted on living on, long after I had ceased to care for them, or they to care for me. They have become stout and tedious, and when I meet them they go in at once for reminiscences. That awful memory of woman! What a fearful thing it is! And what an utter intellectual stagnation it reveals! One should absorb the color of life, but one should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar.

"It’s an interesting question," said Lord Henry, who took great pleasure in teasing the boy’s unaware self-importance, "an extremely interesting question. I think the explanation is this. Often, the real tragedies of life happen in such a unrefined way that they hurt us with their raw brutality, their complete chaos, their ridiculous lack of meaning, and their total absence of style. They affect us just like vulgarity does. They give off an impression of sheer brute force, and we recoil from that. Sometimes, though, a tragedy that has artistic elements of beauty enters our lives. If those elements of beauty are real, the whole situation appeals to our sense of dramatic effect. Suddenly, we realize we are no longer the actors, but the audience of the play. Or rather, we are both. We watch ourselves, and the mere wonder of the spectacle captivates us. In this case, what has really happened? Someone has taken her life for love of you. I wish I had ever experienced something like that. It would have made me in love with love for the rest of my life. The few people who have adored me—there haven’t been many, but there have been some—always insisted on hanging around well after I stopped caring for them, or they for me. They’ve become fat and tiresome, and when I see them, they immediately launch into nostalgic stories. That dreadful memory of women! What a terrible thing it is! And what complete intellectual stagnation it reveals! One should soak up the richness of life, but one should never dwell on its details. Details are always vulgar."

[49] "Of course, now and then things linger. I once wore nothing but violets all through one season, as mourning for a romance that would not die. Ultimately, however, it did die. I forget what killed it. I think it was her proposing to sacrifice the whole world for me. That is always a dreadful moment. It fills one with the terror of eternity. Well,--would you believe it?--a week ago, at Lady Hampshire's, I found myself seated at dinner next the lady in question, and she insisted on going over the whole thing again, and digging up the past, and raking up the future. I had buried my romance in a bed of poppies. She dragged it out again, and assured me that I had spoiled her life. I am bound to state that she ate an enormous dinner, so I did not feel any anxiety. But what a lack of taste she showed! The one charm of the past is that it is the past. But women never know when the curtain has fallen. They always want a sixth act, and as soon as the interest of the play is entirely over they propose to continue it. If they were allowed to have their way, every comedy would have a tragic ending, and every tragedy would culminate in a farce. They are charmingly artificial, but they have no sense of art. You are more fortunate than I am. I assure you, Dorian, that not one of the women I have known would have done for me what Sibyl Vane did for you. Ordinary women always console themselves. Some of them do it by going in for sentimental colors. Never trust a woman who wears mauve, whatever her age may be, or a woman over thirty-five who is fond of pink ribbons. It always means that they have a history. Others find a great consolation in suddenly discovering the good qualities of their husbands. They flaunt their conjugal felicity in one's face, as if it was the most fascinating of sins. Religion consoles some. Its mysteries have all the charm of a flirtation, a woman once told me; and I can quite understand it. Besides, nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. There is really no end to the consolations that women find in modern life. Indeed, I have not mentioned the most important one of all."

[49] "Of course, every now and then things linger. I once wore nothing but violets all season as mourning for a romance that wouldn’t die. In the end, however, it did die. I forget what caused it to end. I think it was her deciding to give up the whole world for me. That’s always a terrible moment. It fills you with the dread of eternity. Well, would you believe it? A week ago, at Lady Hampshire's, I ended up sitting next to her at dinner, and she insisted on going through the whole story again, digging up the past and raking up the future. I had buried my romance in a bed of poppies. She pulled it out again and told me that I had ruined her life. I must say, she had a huge dinner, so I wasn’t worried. But what a lack of taste she had! The beauty of the past is that it is the past. But women never know when the curtain has fallen. They always want a sixth act, and as soon as the interest of the play is completely over, they want to keep it going. If they had their way, every comedy would have a tragic ending, and every tragedy would end in a farce. They are charmingly artificial, but they have no sense of art. You are luckier than I am. I assure you, Dorian, that not one of the women I have known would have done for me what Sibyl Vane did for you. Ordinary women always find ways to console themselves. Some do it by choosing sentimental colors. Never trust a woman who wears mauve, no matter her age, or a woman over thirty-five who loves pink ribbons. It always means they have a history. Others find great comfort in suddenly seeing their husbands’ good qualities. They flaunt their marital happiness in your face, as if it were the most fascinating of sins. Religion comforts some. Its mysteries have all the allure of a flirtation, a woman once told me; and I can completely understand that. Besides, nothing makes someone so vain as being told they are a sinner. There is really no end to the comforts that women find in modern life. In fact, I haven't mentioned the most important one of all."

"What is that, Harry?" said Dorian Gray, listlessly.

"What is that, Harry?" Dorian Gray asked, uninterested.

"Oh, the obvious one. Taking some one else's admirer when one loses one's own. In good society that always whitewashes a woman. But really, Dorian, how different Sibyl Vane must have been from all the women one meets! There is something to me quite beautiful about her death. I am glad I am living in a century when such wonders happen. They make one believe in the reality of the things that shallow, fashionable people play with, such as romance, passion, and love."

"Oh, the obvious one. Taking someone else's admirer when you lose your own. In good society, that always makes a woman look better. But really, Dorian, how different Sibyl Vane must have been from all the women you meet! There’s something truly beautiful about her death to me. I'm glad I'm living in a century where such wonders happen. They make you believe in the reality of the things that shallow, fashionable people play with, like romance, passion, and love."

"I was terribly cruel to her. You forget that."

"I was really cruel to her. You forget that."

"I believe that women appreciate cruelty more than anything else. They have wonderfully primitive instincts. We have emancipated them, but they remain slaves looking for their masters, all the same. They love being dominated. I am sure you were splendid. I have never seen you angry, but I can fancy how delightful you looked. And, after all, you said something to me the day before yesterday that seemed to me at the time to be merely fanciful, but that I see now was absolutely true, and it explains everything."

"I think women appreciate cruelty more than anything else. They have such basic instincts. We’ve set them free, but they still act like they're looking for someone to control them. They love being dominated. I’m sure you were amazing. I’ve never seen you angry, but I can imagine how stunning you must have looked. And, after all, you told me something the other day that I thought was just a fancy idea, but now I realize it was completely true, and it makes sense of everything."

[50] "What was that, Harry?"

"What was that, Harry?"

"You said to me that Sibyl Vane represented to you all the heroines of romance--that she was Desdemona one night, and Ophelia the other; that if she died as Juliet, she came to life as Imogen."

"You told me that Sibyl Vane was like all the heroines of romance to you—that she was Desdemona one night and Ophelia the next; that if she died as Juliet, she came back to life as Imogen."

"She will never come to life again now," murmured the lad, burying his face in his hands.

"She'll never come back to life now," the boy whispered, burying his face in his hands.

"No, she will never come to life. She has played her last part. But you must think of that lonely death in the tawdry dressing-room simply as a strange lurid fragment from some Jacobean tragedy, as a wonderful scene from Webster, or Ford, or Cyril Tourneur. The girl never really lived, and so she has never really died. To you at least she was always a dream, a phantom that flitted through Shakespeare's plays and left them lovelier for its presence, a reed through which Shakespeare's music sounded richer and more full of joy. The moment she touched actual life, she marred it, and it marred her, and so she passed away. Mourn for Ophelia, if you like. Put ashes on your head because Cordelia was strangled. Cry out against Heaven because the daughter of Brabantio died. But don't waste your tears over Sibyl Vane. She was less real than they are."

"No, she will never come to life. She has played her last role. But you should think of that lonely death in the cheap dressing room simply as a strange, vivid fragment from some Jacobean tragedy, like a stunning scene from Webster, or Ford, or Cyril Tourneur. The girl never really lived, and so she has never truly died. To you, at least, she was always a dream, a ghost that flitted through Shakespeare's plays and made them more beautiful just by being there, a reed through which Shakespeare's music sounded richer and more joyful. The moment she touched real life, she ruined it, and it ruined her, and so she faded away. Mourn for Ophelia if you want. Put ashes on your head because Cordelia was killed. Cry out against Heaven because Brabantio's daughter died. But don’t waste your tears over Sibyl Vane. She was less real than they are."

There was a silence. The evening darkened in the room. Noiselessly, and with silver feet, the shadows crept in from the garden. The colors faded wearily out of things.

There was silence. The evening grew darker in the room. Quietly, and with silver feet, the shadows slipped in from the garden. The colors slowly faded away from everything.

After some time Dorian Gray looked up. "You have explained me to myself, Harry," he murmured, with something of a sigh of relief. "I felt all that you have said, but somehow I was afraid of it, and I could not express it to myself. How well you know me! But we will not talk again of what has happened. It has been a marvellous experience. That is all. I wonder if life has still in store for me anything as marvellous."

After a while, Dorian Gray looked up. "You've really made me understand myself, Harry," he said with a hint of relief. "I felt everything you mentioned, but I was somehow scared of it, and I couldn’t put it into words for myself. You really know me well! But let’s not talk about what’s happened anymore. It’s been an amazing experience. That’s all. I wonder if life has anything else this amazing in store for me."

"Life has everything in store for you, Dorian. There is nothing that you, with your extraordinary good looks, will not be able to do."

"Life has so much in store for you, Dorian. There’s nothing you can’t achieve with your incredible looks."

"But suppose, Harry, I became haggard, and gray, and wrinkled? What then?"

"But what if I ended up looking worn out, gray, and all wrinkled, Harry? What then?"

"Ah, then," said Lord Henry, rising to go,--"then, my dear Dorian, you would have to fight for your victories. As it is, they are brought to you. No, you must keep your good looks. We live in an age that reads too much to be wise, and that thinks too much to be beautiful. We cannot spare you. And now you had better dress, and drive down to the club. We are rather late, as it is."

"Ah, then," said Lord Henry, getting up to leave, "then, my dear Dorian, you would have to fight for your victories. As it is, they come to you. No, you have to hold onto your good looks. We live in a time that reads too much to be wise and thinks too much to be beautiful. We can't afford to lose you. And now you'd better get dressed and head down to the club. We're already pretty late, as it is."

"I think I shall join you at the Opera, Harry. I feel too tired to eat anything. What is the number of your sister's box?"

"I think I’ll join you at the Opera, Harry. I’m feeling too tired to eat anything. What’s the number of your sister’s box?"

"Twenty-seven, I believe. It is on the grand tier. You will see her name on the door. But I am sorry you won't come and dine."

"Twenty-seven, I think. It's on the grand tier. You'll see her name on the door. I'm sorry you won't be able to join us for dinner."

"I don't feel up to it," said Dorian, wearily. "But I am awfully obliged to you for all that you have said to me. You are certainly my best friend. No one has ever understood me as you have."

"I’m really not feeling it," Dorian said, tiredly. "But I truly appreciate everything you’ve said to me. You are definitely my best friend. No one has ever understood me like you do."

"We are only at the beginning of our friendship, Dorian," answered Lord Henry, shaking him by the hand. "Good-by. I shall see you before nine-thirty, I hope. Remember, Patti is singing."

"We're just starting our friendship, Dorian," Lord Henry replied, shaking his hand. "Goodbye. I hope to see you before nine-thirty. Remember, Patti is singing."

As he closed the door behind him, Dorian Gray touched the bell, [51] and in a few minutes Victor appeared with the lamps and drew the blinds down. He waited impatiently for him to go. The man seemed to take an interminable time about everything.

As he closed the door behind him, Dorian Gray pressed the bell, [51] and a few minutes later, Victor showed up with the lamps and pulled the blinds down. He waited impatiently for him to leave. The guy took forever to do everything.

As soon as he had left, he rushed to the screen, and drew it back. No; there was no further change in the picture. It had received the news of Sibyl Vane's death before he had known of it himself. It was conscious of the events of life as they occurred. The vicious cruelty that marred the fine lines of the mouth had, no doubt, appeared at the very moment that the girl had drunk the poison, whatever it was. Or was it indifferent to results? Did it merely take cognizance of what passed within the soul? he wondered, and hoped that some day he would see the change taking place before his very eyes, shuddering as he hoped it.

As soon as he left, he hurried to the screen and pulled it back. No; there was no change in the image. It had felt the impact of Sibyl Vane's death before he even knew about it. It was aware of life’s events as they unfolded. The cruel viciousness that distorted the beautiful lines of the mouth had, without a doubt, appeared the moment the girl drank the poison, whatever it was. Or was it indifferent to the outcomes? Did it only register what was happening within the soul? he wondered, hoping that one day he would witness the change happening right in front of him, shuddering at the thought.

Poor Sibyl! what a romance it had all been! She had often mimicked death on the stage, and at last Death himself had touched her, and brought her with him. How had she played that dreadful scene? Had she cursed him, as she died? No; she had died for love of him, and love would always be a sacrament to him now. She had atoned for everything, by the sacrifice she had made of her life. He would not think any more of what she had made him go through, that horrible night at the theatre. When he thought of her, it would be as a wonderful tragic figure to show Love had been a great reality. A wonderful tragic figure? Tears came to his eyes as he remembered her child-like look and winsome fanciful ways and shy tremulous grace. He wiped them away hastily, and looked again at the picture.

Poor Sibyl! What a story it had all been! She had often pretended to be dead on stage, and in the end, Death himself had touched her and taken her away. How had she performed that terrible scene? Did she curse him as she perished? No; she had died out of love for him, and love would always feel sacred to him now. She had atoned for everything by sacrificing her life. He wouldn't dwell on what she had put him through that horrible night at the theater. When he thought of her, it would be as a stunning tragic figure proving that love had been real. A stunning tragic figure? Tears filled his eyes as he recalled her childlike expression, her charming whimsical ways, and her shy, delicate grace. He quickly wiped them away and looked again at the picture.

He felt that the time had really come for making his choice. Or had his choice already been made? Yes, life had decided that for him,--life, and his own infinite curiosity about life. Eternal youth, infinite passion, pleasures subtle and secret, wild joys and wilder sins,--he was to have all these things. The portrait was to bear the burden of his shame: that was all.

He felt that the time had truly come for him to make a choice. Or had his choice already been made? Yes, life had already decided that for him—life and his own endless curiosity about it. Eternal youth, boundless passion, subtle and hidden pleasures, wild joys, and even wilder sins—he was going to have all of these. The portrait was meant to carry the weight of his shame: that was all.

A feeling of pain came over him as he thought of the desecration that was in store for the fair face on the canvas. Once, in boyish mockery of Narcissus, he had kissed, or feigned to kiss, those painted lips that now smiled so cruelly at him. Morning after morning he had sat before the portrait wondering at its beauty, almost enamoured of it, as it seemed to him at times. Was it to alter now with every mood to which he yielded? Was it to become a hideous and loathsome thing, to be hidden away in a locked room, to be shut out from the sunlight that had so often touched to brighter gold the waving wonder of the hair? The pity of it! the pity of it!

A wave of pain washed over him as he thought about the destruction that awaited the beautiful face on the canvas. Once, in a playful mockery of Narcissus, he had kissed, or pretended to kiss, those painted lips that now smiled so cruelly at him. Morning after morning, he had sat in front of the portrait, marveling at its beauty, almost in love with it at times. Was it now going to change with every mood he felt? Was it going to become a hideous and repulsive thing, hidden away in a locked room, shut out from the sunlight that had so often turned the flowing beauty of the hair into brighter gold? What a shame! What a shame!

For a moment he thought of praying that the horrible sympathy that existed between him and the picture might cease. It had changed in answer to a prayer; perhaps in answer to a prayer it might remain unchanged. And, yet, who, that knew anything about Life, would surrender the chance of remaining always young, however fantastic that chance might be, or with what fateful consequences it might be fraught? Besides, was it really under his control? Had it indeed been prayer that had produced the substitution? Might there not be some curious scientific reason for it all? If thought could exercise its [52] influence upon a living organism, might not thought exercise an influence upon dead and inorganic things? Nay, without thought or conscious desire, might not things external to ourselves vibrate in unison with our moods and passions, atom calling to atom, in secret love or strange affinity? But the reason was of no importance. He would never again tempt by a prayer any terrible power. If the picture was to alter, it was to alter. That was all. Why inquire too closely into it?

For a moment, he considered praying that the awful connection between him and the painting would end. It had changed in response to a prayer; maybe it could stay the same if he prayed again. Yet, who, knowing anything about life, would give up the chance to stay forever young, no matter how strange that chance might be or what dire consequences it could bring? Besides, was it really up to him? Had it truly been prayer that caused the change? Could there be some strange scientific explanation behind it all? If thoughts could affect living beings, could they also influence dead and non-living things? And without thought or desire, could external things resonate with our feelings and moods, atoms connecting in a hidden bond or odd attraction? But the reason didn’t matter. He would never again risk awakening any terrible force with a prayer. If the painting was meant to change, then it would change. That was all. Why dig deeper into it?

For there would be a real pleasure in watching it. He would be able to follow his mind into its secret places. This portrait would be to him the most magical of mirrors. As it had revealed to him his own body, so it would reveal to him his own soul. And when winter came upon it, he would still be standing where spring trembles on the verge of summer. When the blood crept from its face, and left behind a pallid mask of chalk with leaden eyes, he would keep the glamour of boyhood. Not one blossom of his loveliness would ever fade. Not one pulse of his life would ever weaken. Like the gods of the Greeks, he would be strong, and fleet, and joyous. What did it matter what happened to the colored image on the canvas? He would be safe. That was everything.

Because there would be real joy in watching it. He would be able to explore the hidden parts of his mind. This portrait would be the most magical mirror for him. Just as it had shown him his own body, it would also reveal his soul. And when winter came, he would still be standing where spring hesitates on the brink of summer. When the color drained from its face, leaving a pale mask of chalk with dull eyes, he would maintain the charm of youth. Not one flower of his beauty would ever wither. Not one beat of his life would ever fade. Like the gods of the Greeks, he would be strong, swift, and happy. What did it matter what happened to the colored image on the canvas? He would be safe. That was everything.

He drew the screen back into its former place in front of the picture, smiling as he did so, and passed into his bedroom, where his valet was already waiting for him. An hour later he was at the Opera, and Lord Henry was leaning over his chair.

He pulled the screen back to its original spot in front of the painting, smiling as he did so, and walked into his bedroom, where his valet was already waiting for him. An hour later, he was at the Opera, and Lord Henry was leaning over his chair.




CHAPTER VII

[...52] As he was sitting at breakfast next morning, Basil Hallward was shown into the room.

[...52] As he was having breakfast the next morning, Basil Hallward was brought into the room.

"I am so glad I have found you, Dorian," he said, gravely. "I called last night, and they told me you were at the Opera. Of course I knew that was impossible. But I wish you had left word where you had really gone to. I passed a dreadful evening, half afraid that one tragedy might be followed by another. I think you might have telegraphed for me when you heard of it first. I read of it quite by chance in a late edition of the Globe, that I picked up at the club. I came here at once, and was miserable at not finding you. I can't tell you how heart-broken I am about the whole thing. I know what you must suffer. But where were you? Did you go down and see the girl's mother? For a moment I thought of following you there. They gave the address in the paper. Somewhere in the Euston Road, isn't it? But I was afraid of intruding upon a sorrow that I could not lighten. Poor woman! What a state she must be in! And her only child, too! What did she say about it all?"

"I’m so glad I found you, Dorian," he said seriously. "I called last night, and they told me you were at the Opera. Of course, I knew that wasn’t true. But I wish you had let me know where you actually went. I had a terrible evening, half afraid that one tragedy would be followed by another. You could have sent me a telegram when you first heard about it. I found out by chance in a late edition of the Globe that I picked up at the club. I came here right away and felt miserable not finding you. I can’t tell you how heartbroken I am about the whole thing. I know how much you must be suffering. But where were you? Did you go see the girl's mother? For a moment, I thought about following you there. They listed the address in the paper. It’s somewhere on Euston Road, right? But I was worried about intruding on a grief that I couldn’t ease. Poor woman! What a state she must be in! And her only child, too! What did she say about it all?"

"My dear Basil, how do I know?" murmured Dorian, sipping some pale-yellow wine from a delicate gold-beaded bubble of Venetian glass, and looking dreadfully bored. "I was at the Opera. You should have come on there. I met Lady Gwendolen, Harry's sister, for the first time. We were in her box. She is perfectly charming; and Patti sang divinely. Don't talk about horrid subjects. If one doesn't [53] talk about a thing, it has never happened. It is simply expression, as Harry says, that gives reality to things. Tell me about yourself and what you are painting."

"My dear Basil, how would I know?" Dorian murmured, sipping pale-yellow wine from a delicate, gold-beaded Venetian glass, looking utterly bored. "I was at the opera. You should have come along. I met Lady Gwendolen, Harry's sister, for the first time. We were in her box. She's absolutely lovely; and Patti sang beautifully. Let's not talk about unpleasant topics. If you don't discuss something, it never really happened. It’s just expression, as Harry says, that makes things real. Tell me about yourself and what you're painting."

"You went to the Opera?" said Hallward, speaking very slowly, and with a strained touch of pain in his voice. "You went to the Opera while Sibyl Vane was lying dead in some sordid lodging? You can talk to me of other women being charming, and of Patti singing divinely, before the girl you loved has even the quiet of a grave to sleep in? Why, man, there are horrors in store for that little white body of hers!"

"You went to the opera?" Hallward said slowly, with a strained hint of pain in his voice. "You went to the opera while Sibyl Vane was lying dead in some awful place? You can talk to me about other women being charming and about Patti singing beautifully, while the girl you loved doesn’t even have the peace of a grave to rest in? Seriously, man, there are terrible things in store for that little white body of hers!"

"Stop, Basil! I won't hear it!" cried Dorian, leaping to his feet. "You must not tell me about things. What is done is done. What is past is past."

"Stop, Basil! I don’t want to hear it!" Dorian shouted, jumping to his feet. "You can't tell me about things. What's done is done. What's in the past is in the past."

"You call yesterday the past?"

"Do you call yesterday the past?"

"What has the actual lapse of time got to do with it? It is only shallow people who require years to get rid of an emotion. A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them."

"What does the actual passage of time have to do with it? It's only superficial people who need years to move past an emotion. A person who is in control of themselves can end a sorrow just as easily as they can create a pleasure. I don't want to be controlled by my emotions. I want to use them, enjoy them, and master them."

"Dorian, this is horrible! Something has changed you completely. You look exactly the same wonderful boy who used to come down to my studio, day after day, to sit for his picture. But you were simple, natural, and affectionate then. You were the most unspoiled creature in the whole world. Now, I don't know what has come over you. You talk as if you had no heart, no pity in you. It is all Harry's influence. I see that."

"Dorian, this is awful! Something has changed you completely. You look just like the amazing boy who used to come to my studio every day to sit for his portrait. But back then, you were so genuine, natural, and loving. You were the most innocent person in the entire world. Now, I don't know what's gotten into you. You speak as if you have no heart, no compassion at all. It's all Harry's influence. I can see that."

The lad flushed up, and, going to the window, looked out on the green, flickering garden for a few moments. "I owe a great deal to Harry, Basil," he said, at last,--"more than I owe to you. You only taught me to be vain."

The kid blushed and went to the window, looking out at the lush, flickering garden for a moment. "I owe a lot to Harry, Basil," he finally said, "more than I owe to you. You just taught me to be vain."

"Well, I am punished for that, Dorian,--or shall be some day."

"Well, I’ll pay for that, Dorian – or I will eventually."

"I don't know what you mean, Basil," he exclaimed, turning round. "I don't know what you want. What do you want?"

"I don’t know what you mean, Basil," he said, turning around. "I don’t know what you want. What do you want?"

"I want the Dorian Gray I used to know."

"I want the Dorian Gray I used to know."

"Basil," said the lad, going over to him, and putting his hand on his shoulder, "you have come too late. Yesterday when I heard that Sibyl Vane had killed herself--"

"Basil," the boy said, walking over to him and placing his hand on his shoulder, "you've come too late. Yesterday when I found out that Sibyl Vane had killed herself—"

"Killed herself! Good heavens! is there no doubt about that?" cried Hallward, looking up at him with an expression of horror.

"Killed herself! Oh my gosh! Is there really no doubt about that?" exclaimed Hallward, gazing at him with a look of horror.

"My dear Basil! Surely you don't think it was a vulgar accident? Of course she killed herself It is one of the great romantic tragedies of the age. As a rule, people who act lead the most commonplace lives. They are good husbands, or faithful wives, or something tedious. You know what I mean,--middle-class virtue, and all that kind of thing. How different Sibyl was! She lived her finest tragedy. She was always a heroine. The last night she played--the night you saw her--she acted badly because she had known the reality of love. When she knew its unreality, she died, as Juliet might have died. She passed again into the sphere of art. There is something of the martyr about her. Her death has all the pathetic uselessness of [54] martyrdom, all its wasted beauty. But, as I was saying, you must not think I have not suffered. If you had come in yesterday at a particular moment,--about half-past five, perhaps, or a quarter to six,--you would have found me in tears. Even Harry, who was here, who brought me the news, in fact, had no idea what I was going through. I suffered immensely, then it passed away. I cannot repeat an emotion. No one can, except sentimentalists. And you are awfully unjust, Basil. You come down here to console me. That is charming of you. You find me consoled, and you are furious. How like a sympathetic person! You remind me of a story Harry told me about a certain philanthropist who spent twenty years of his life in trying to get some grievance redressed, or some unjust law altered,--I forget exactly what it was. Finally he succeeded, and nothing could exceed his disappointment. He had absolutely nothing to do, almost died of ennui, and became a confirmed misanthrope. And besides, my dear old Basil, if you really want to console me, teach me rather to forget what has happened, or to see it from a proper artistic point of view. Was it not Gautier who used to write about la consolation des arts? I remember picking up a little vellum-covered book in your studio one day and chancing on that delightful phrase. Well, I am not like that young man you told me of when we were down at Marlowe together, the young man who used to say that yellow satin could console one for all the miseries of life. I love beautiful things that one can touch and handle. Old brocades, green bronzes, lacquer-work, carved ivories, exquisite surroundings, luxury, pomp,--there is much to be got from all these. But the artistic temperament that they create, or at any rate reveal, is still more to me. To become the spectator of one's own life, as Harry says, is to escape the suffering of life. I know you are surprised at my talking to you like this. You have not realized how I have developed. I was a school-boy when you knew me. I am a man now. I have new passions, new thoughts, new ideas. I am different, but you must not like me less. I am changed, but you must always be my friend. Of course I am very fond of Harry. But I know that you are better than he is. You are not stronger,--you are too much afraid of life,--but you are better. And how happy we used to be together! Don't leave me, Basil, and don't quarrel with me. I am what I am. There is nothing more to be said."

"My dear Basil! Surely you don't think it was just a silly accident? Of course she took her own life. It’s one of the great romantic tragedies of our time. Generally, people who act live the most ordinary lives. They’re good husbands or loyal wives, or something equally boring. You know what I mean—middle-class virtue and all that. How different Sibyl was! She lived her grandest tragedy. She was always a heroine. The last night she performed—the night you saw her—she acted poorly because she had experienced real love. When she realized its untrue nature, she died, just as Juliet might have. She returned once more to the realm of art. There’s something martyr-like about her. Her death carries all the sad uselessness of martyrdom, all its wasted beauty. But, as I was saying, you mustn’t think I haven’t suffered. If you had walked in yesterday at a certain moment—around half-past five, or maybe a quarter to six—you would have found me in tears. Even Harry, who was here and brought me the news, had no clue what I was going through. I suffered immensely, but then it passed. I can’t repeat an emotion. No one can, except sentimentalists. And you’re being really unfair, Basil. You come down here to comfort me. That's sweet of you. You find me consoled, and you’re furious. How typical of a sympathetic person! You remind me of a story Harry told me about a philanthropist who spent twenty years trying to get some issue addressed or some unjust law changed—I can’t remember exactly what. He finally succeeded, and nothing could exceed his disappointment. He had absolutely nothing to do, almost died from boredom, and turned into a confirmed misanthrope. And besides, my dear Basil, if you really want to comfort me, help me forget what happened or see it from a proper artistic perspective. Wasn’t it Gautier who wrote about la consolation des arts? I remember finding a small vellum-covered book in your studio one day and coming across that lovely phrase. Well, I’m not like that young man you told me about when we were at Marlowe together—the young man who used to say that yellow satin could comfort one through all of life’s miseries. I love beautiful things that you can touch and feel. Old brocades, green bronzes, lacquer work, carved ivories, exquisite surroundings, luxury, splendor—there’s a lot to appreciate in all these. But the artistic temperament they create, or at least reveal, means even more to me. To become a spectator of one’s own life, as Harry says, is to escape life's suffering. I know you’re surprised by how I’m talking to you. You haven’t realized how much I’ve grown. I was a schoolboy when you knew me. Now I’m a man. I have new passions, new thoughts, new ideas. I’m different, but you mustn’t like me any less. I’ve changed, but you must always be my friend. Of course, I’m very fond of Harry. But I know you’re better than he is. You’re not stronger—you’re too afraid of life—but you’re better. And remember how happy we used to be together! Don’t leave me, Basil, and don’t fight with me. I am what I am. There’s nothing more to say."

Hallward felt strangely moved. Rugged and straightforward as he was, there was something in his nature that was purely feminine in its tenderness. The lad was infinitely dear to him, and his personality had been the great turning-point in his art. He could not bear the idea of reproaching him any more. After all, his indifference was probably merely a mood that would pass away. There was so much in him that was good, so much in him that was noble.

Hallward felt oddly touched. Rugged and straightforward as he was, there was something in his nature that was purely feminine in its tenderness. The guy was incredibly dear to him, and his personality had been a major turning point in his art. He couldn’t stand the idea of blaming him anymore. After all, his indifference was probably just a phase that would pass. There was so much good in him, so much nobility.

"Well, Dorian," he said, at length, with a sad smile, "I won't speak to you again about this horrible thing, after to-day. I only trust your name won't be mentioned in connection with it. The inquest is to take place this afternoon. Have they summoned you?"

"Well, Dorian," he said finally, with a sad smile, "I won’t talk to you about this awful thing again after today. I just hope your name won’t come up in relation to it. The inquest is happening this afternoon. Have they called you?"

Dorian shook his head, and a look of annoyance passed over his face at the mention of the word "inquest." There was something so [55] crude and vulgar about everything of the kind. "They don't know my name," he answered.

Dorian shook his head, and a look of annoyance crossed his face at the mention of the word "inquest." There was something so crude and vulgar about it all. "They don't know my name," he replied.

"But surely she did?"

"But she definitely did?"

"Only my Christian name, and that I am quite sure she never mentioned to any one. She told me once that they were all rather curious to learn who I was, and that she invariably told them my name was Prince Charming. It was pretty of her. You must do me a drawing of her, Basil. I should like to have something more of her than the memory of a few kisses and some broken pathetic words."

"She only ever mentioned my first name, and I'm pretty sure she never told anyone else about it. One time she told me that everyone was pretty curious to find out who I was, and she always said my name was Prince Charming. That was really sweet of her. You have to do a drawing of her, Basil. I want to have something more of her than just the memory of a few kisses and some heart-wrenching words."

"I will try and do something, Dorian, if it would please you. But you must come and sit to me yourself again. I can't get on without you."

"I'll do my best to do something, Dorian, if it makes you happy. But you have to come and sit with me again. I can't manage without you."

"I will never sit to you again, Basil. It is impossible!" he exclaimed, starting back.

"I will never sit with you again, Basil. It's impossible!" he shouted, stepping back.

Hallward stared at him, "My dear boy, what nonsense!" he cried. "Do you mean to say you don't like what I did of you? Where is it? Why have you pulled the screen in front of it? Let me look at it. It is the best thing I have ever painted. Do take that screen away, Dorian. It is simply horrid of your servant hiding my work like that. I felt the room looked different as I came in."

Hallward stared at him, "My dear boy, what nonsense!" he exclaimed. "Are you saying you don't like what I painted of you? Where is it? Why did you put the screen in front of it? Let me see it. It's the best thing I've ever painted. Please take that screen away, Dorian. It's just awful of your servant to hide my work like that. I noticed the room felt different when I walked in."

"My servant has nothing to do with it, Basil. You don't imagine I let him arrange my room for me? He settles my flowers for me sometimes,--that is all. No; I did it myself. The light was too strong on the portrait."

"My servant has nothing to do with it, Basil. You don’t think I let him arrange my room for me, do you? He sometimes arranges my flowers for me—that’s it. No; I did it myself. The light was too strong on the portrait."

"Too strong! Impossible, my dear fellow! It is an admirable place for it. Let me see it." And Hallward walked towards the corner of the room.

"Too strong! Impossible, my friend! It's a great spot for it. Let me see." And Hallward walked to the corner of the room.

A cry of terror broke from Dorian Gray's lips, and he rushed between Hallward and the screen. "Basil," he said, looking very pale, "you must not look at it. I don't wish you to."

A cry of terror escaped Dorian Gray's lips as he dashed between Hallward and the screen. "Basil," he said, looking extremely pale, "you can't look at it. I don’t want you to."

"Not look at my own work! you are not serious. Why shouldn't I look at it?" exclaimed Hallward, laughing.

"Not look at my own work! You can't be serious. Why wouldn't I look at it?" Hallward exclaimed, laughing.

"If you try to look at it, Basil, on my word of honor I will never speak to you again as long as I live. I am quite serious. I don't offer any explanation, and you are not to ask for any. But, remember, if you touch this screen, everything is over between us."

"If you try to look at it, Basil, I swear I will never speak to you again for as long as I live. I’m serious. I’m not going to explain anything, and you’re not allowed to ask for an explanation. But remember, if you touch this screen, it’s all over between us."

Hallward was thunderstruck. He looked at Dorian Gray in absolute amazement. He had never seen him like this before. The lad was absolutely pallid with rage. His hands were clinched, and the pupils of his eyes were like disks of blue fire. He was trembling all over.

Hallward was shocked. He looked at Dorian Gray in complete disbelief. He had never seen him like this before. The guy was completely pale with rage. His hands were clenched, and the pupils of his eyes were like disks of blue fire. He was shaking all over.

"Dorian!"

"Dorian!"

"Don't speak!"

"Stay quiet!"

"But what is the matter? Of course I won't look at it if you don't want me to," he said, rather coldly, turning on his heel, and going over towards the window. "But, really, it seems rather absurd that I shouldn't see my own work, especially as I am going to exhibit it in Paris in the autumn. I shall probably have to give it another coat of varnish before that, so I must see it some day, and why not to-day?"

"But what's the issue? Of course I won't look at it if you don't want me to," he said, somewhat coolly, turning on his heel and moving toward the window. "But honestly, it seems a bit ridiculous that I can't see my own work, especially since I'm going to exhibit it in Paris this fall. I'll probably need to give it another coat of varnish before then, so I have to see it sometime, and why not today?"

"To exhibit it! You want to exhibit it?" exclaimed Dorian Gray, a strange sense of terror creeping over him. Was the world going [56] to be shown his secret? Were people to gape at the mystery of his life? That was impossible. Something--he did not know what--had to be done at once.

"To show it! You want to show it?" Dorian Gray exclaimed, a strange sense of fear overtaking him. Was the world going to learn his secret? Were people going to stare at the mystery of his life? That couldn't happen. Something—he didn't know what—had to be done immediately.

"Yes: I don't suppose you will object to that. Georges Petit is going to collect all my best pictures for a special exhibition in the Rue de Sèze, which will open the first week in October. The portrait will only be away a month. I should think you could easily spare it for that time. In fact, you are sure to be out of town. And if you hide it always behind a screen, you can't care much about it."

"Yes, I don't think you'll mind that. Georges Petit is going to gather all my best paintings for a special exhibit on Rue de Sèze, which will open the first week of October. The portrait will only be gone for a month. I'm sure you can easily part with it for that time. In fact, you'll probably be out of town. And if you always hide it behind a screen, it can't mean that much to you."

Dorian Gray passed his hand over his forehead. There were beads of perspiration there. He felt that he was on the brink of a horrible danger. "You told me a month ago that you would never exhibit it," he said. "Why have you changed your mind? You people who go in for being consistent have just as many moods as others. The only difference is that your moods are rather meaningless. You can't have forgotten that you assured me most solemnly that nothing in the world would induce you to send it to any exhibition. You told Harry exactly the same thing." He stopped suddenly, and a gleam of light came into his eyes. He remembered that Lord Henry had said to him once, half seriously and half in jest, "If you want to have an interesting quarter of an hour, get Basil to tell you why he won't exhibit your picture. He told me why he wouldn't, and it was a revelation to me." Yes, perhaps Basil, too, had his secret. He would ask him and try.

Dorian Gray ran his hand over his forehead, where beads of sweat were forming. He felt like he was on the edge of some terrible danger. "You told me a month ago that you would never show it," he said. "Why have you changed your mind? You people who strive for consistency have just as many moods as everyone else. The only difference is that your moods are pretty meaningless. You can’t have forgotten that you promised me solemnly that nothing in the world would make you send it to any exhibition. You told Harry the same thing." He suddenly stopped, and a spark of realization lit up his eyes. He remembered that Lord Henry had once said to him, half-serious and half-joking, "If you want to have an interesting quarter of an hour, get Basil to tell you why he won’t exhibit your picture. He explained it to me, and it was a revelation." Yes, maybe Basil had his own secret, too. He would ask him and see.

"Basil," he said, coming over quite close, and looking him straight in the face, "we have each of us a secret. Let me know yours, and I will tell you mine. What was your reason for refusing to exhibit my picture?"

"Basil," he said, stepping closer and looking him straight in the eyes, "we both have a secret. Share yours with me, and I'll share mine with you. Why did you refuse to display my painting?"

Hallward shuddered in spite of himself. "Dorian, if I told you, you might like me less than you do, and you would certainly laugh at me. I could not bear your doing either of those two things. If you wish me never to look at your picture again, I am content. I have always you to look at. If you wish the best work I have ever done to be hidden from the world, I am satisfied. Your friendship is dearer to me than any fame or reputation."

Hallward shivered despite himself. "Dorian, if I told you, you might like me less than you do, and you'd definitely laugh at me. I couldn't handle either of those things. If you want me to never look at your picture again, I'm fine with that. I've always had you to look at. If you want the best work I've ever done to be kept from the world, I'm okay with it. Your friendship means more to me than any fame or reputation."

"No, Basil, you must tell me," murmured Dorian Gray. "I think I have a right to know." His feeling of terror had passed away, and curiosity had taken its place. He was determined to find out Basil Hallward's mystery.

"No, Basil, you have to tell me," Dorian Gray said softly. "I believe I have a right to know." His fear had faded, replaced by curiosity. He was set on uncovering Basil Hallward's secret.

"Let us sit down, Dorian," said Hallward, looking pale and pained. "Let us sit down. I will sit in the shadow, and you shall sit in the sunlight. Our lives are like that. Just answer me one question. Have you noticed in the picture something that you did not like?--something that probably at first did not strike you, but that revealed itself to you suddenly?"

"Let’s sit down, Dorian," said Hallward, looking pale and troubled. "Let’s sit down. I’ll sit in the shadow, and you can sit in the sunlight. Our lives are like that. Just answer me one question. Have you noticed something in the picture that you didn’t like?—something that didn’t catch your attention at first but suddenly became clear to you?"

"Basil!" cried the lad, clutching the arms of his chair with trembling hands, and gazing at him with wild, startled eyes.

"Basil!" shouted the boy, gripping the arms of his chair with shaky hands and staring at him with wide, frightened eyes.

"I see you did. Don't speak. Wait till you hear what I have to say. It is quite true that I have worshipped you with far more romance of feeling than a man usually gives to a friend. Somehow, I had never loved a woman. I suppose I never had time. Perhaps, as [57] Harry says, a really 'grande passion' is the privilege of those who have nothing to do, and that is the use of the idle classes in a country. Well, from the moment I met you, your personality had the most extraordinary influence over me. I quite admit that I adored you madly, extravagantly, absurdly. I was jealous of every one to whom you spoke. I wanted to have you all to myself. I was only happy when I was with you. When I was away from you, you were still present in my art. It was all wrong and foolish. It is all wrong and foolish still. Of course I never let you know anything about this. It would have been impossible. You would not have understood it; I did not understand it myself. One day I determined to paint a wonderful portrait of you. It was to have been my masterpiece. It is my masterpiece. But, as I worked at it, every flake and film of color seemed to me to reveal my secret. I grew afraid that the world would know of my idolatry. I felt, Dorian, that I had told too much. Then it was that I resolved never to allow the picture to be exhibited. You were a little annoyed; but then you did not realize all that it meant to me. Harry, to whom I talked about it, laughed at me. But I did not mind that. When the picture was finished, and I sat alone with it, I felt that I was right. Well, after a few days the portrait left my studio, and as soon as I had got rid of the intolerable fascination of its presence it seemed to me that I had been foolish in imagining that I had said anything in it, more than that you were extremely good-looking and that I could paint. Even now I cannot help feeling that it is a mistake to think that the passion one feels in creation is ever really shown in the work one creates. Art is more abstract than we fancy. Form and color tell us of form and color,--that is all. It often seems to me that art conceals the artist far more completely than it ever reveals him. And so when I got this offer from Paris I determined to make your portrait the principal thing in my exhibition. It never occurred to me that you would refuse. I see now that you were right. The picture must not be shown. You must not be angry with me, Dorian, for what I have told you. As I said to Harry, once, you are made to be worshipped."

"I see you did. Don't say anything. Just wait until you hear what I have to say. It's true that I have admired you with far more romantic feelings than a guy usually has for a friend. Somehow, I never loved a woman. I guess I just never had the time. Maybe, as Harry says, a real 'grand passion' is something only those who have nothing to do can experience, and that’s the role of the idle classes in society. From the moment I met you, your personality had an extraordinary effect on me. I fully admit that I adored you deeply, extravagantly, and even absurdly. I was jealous of everyone you talked to. I wanted you all to myself. I was only happy when I was with you. Even when I wasn't with you, I still felt your presence in my art. It was all wrong and foolish. It still is. Of course, I never let you know about any of this. I couldn’t. You wouldn’t have understood, and honestly, I didn’t understand it myself. One day, I decided to paint a stunning portrait of you. It was meant to be my masterpiece. It is my masterpiece. But as I worked on it, every brushstroke seemed to reveal my secret. I became scared that the world would discover my adoration for you. I felt, Dorian, that I had shared too much. That’s when I decided never to show the painting. You were a bit annoyed, but you didn’t grasp the significance it held for me. Harry, to whom I confided, laughed at me. But I didn’t care. When the picture was finished, and I was alone with it, I felt justified. After a few days, the portrait left my studio, and as soon as I removed the unbearable allure of its presence, it struck me that I had been silly for believing I had revealed anything in it, other than that you were incredibly good-looking and that I could paint. Even now, I think it's a mistake to believe that the passion felt in creation ever truly shows in the artwork produced. Art is more abstract than we assume. Form and color only tell us about form and color—that’s it. It often seems to me that art hides the artist more thoroughly than it ever exposes him. So when I received an offer from Paris, I decided to make your portrait the centerpiece of my exhibition. It never crossed my mind that you would reject it. I realize now that you were right. The painting must not be shown. Please don’t be mad at me, Dorian, for what I shared with you. As I once told Harry, you are meant to be worshipped."

Dorian Gray drew a long breath. The color came back to his cheeks, and a smile played about his lips. The peril was over. He was safe for the time. Yet he could not help feeling infinite pity for the young man who had just made this strange confession to him. He wondered if he would ever be so dominated by the personality of a friend. Lord Harry had the charm of being very dangerous. But that was all. He was too clever and too cynical to be really fond of. Would there ever be some one who would fill him with a strange idolatry? Was that one of the things that life had in store?

Dorian Gray took a deep breath. The color returned to his cheeks, and a smile touched his lips. The danger had passed. He was safe for now. Yet, he couldn't shake off the deep pity he felt for the young man who had just shared this unusual confession with him. He wondered if he would ever be so influenced by a friend's personality. Lord Henry had the allure of being quite dangerous. But that was all there was to it. He was too smart and too cynical to be truly liked. Would there ever be someone who would inspire in him a strange kind of worship? Was that one of the things life had in store for him?

"It is extraordinary to me, Dorian," said Hallward, "that you should have seen this in the picture. Did you really see it?"

"It’s amazing to me, Dorian," Hallward said, "that you noticed this in the painting. Did you really see it?"

"Of course I did."

"Of course I did."

"Well, you don't mind my looking at it now?"

"Well, you don’t mind if I look at it now?"

Dorian shook his head. "You must not ask me that, Basil. I could not possibly let you stand in front of that picture."

Dorian shook his head. "You can't ask me that, Basil. I can't let you stand in front of that painting."

"You will some day, surely?"

"You will someday, right?"

[58] "Never."

"Not happening."

"Well, perhaps you are right. And now good-by, Dorian. You have been the one person in my life of whom I have been really fond. I don't suppose I shall often see you again. You don't know what it cost me to tell you all that I have told you."

"Well, maybe you’re right. And now goodbye, Dorian. You’ve been the one person in my life that I really cared about. I don’t think I’ll see you again very often. You have no idea how hard it was for me to say all that."

"My dear Basil," cried Dorian, "what have you told me? Simply that you felt that you liked me too much. That is not even a compliment."

"My dear Basil," exclaimed Dorian, "what have you told me? Just that you felt you liked me too much. That's not even a compliment."

"It was not intended as a compliment. It was a confession."

"It wasn’t meant as a compliment. It was an admission."

"A very disappointing one."

"Super disappointing."

"Why, what did you expect, Dorian? You didn't see anything else in the picture, did you? There was nothing else to see?"

"Well, what did you think, Dorian? You didn't notice anything else in the painting, did you? There was nothing more to see?"

"No: there was nothing else to see. Why do you ask? But you mustn't talk about not meeting me again, or anything of that kind. You and I are friends, Basil, and we must always remain so."

"No, there was nothing else to see. Why do you ask? But you shouldn’t talk about not meeting me again or anything like that. You and I are friends, Basil, and we should always stay that way."

"You have got Harry," said Hallward, sadly.

"You've got Harry," Hallward said sadly.

"Oh, Harry!" cried the lad, with a ripple of laughter. "Harry spends his days in saying what is incredible, and his evenings in doing what is improbable. Just the sort of life I would like to lead. But still I don't think I would go to Harry if I was in trouble. I would sooner go to you, Basil."

"Oh, Harry!" the boy exclaimed, chuckling. "Harry spends his days talking about unbelievable things and his nights doing the impossible. It's exactly the kind of life I’d love to have. But honestly, I don’t think I’d turn to Harry if I were in trouble. I’d rather come to you, Basil."

"But you won't sit to me again?"

"But you won't sit with me again?"

"Impossible!"

"Not possible!"

"You spoil my life as an artist by refusing, Dorian. No man comes across two ideal things. Few come across one."

"You ruin my life as an artist by refusing, Dorian. No one finds two perfect things. Very few find even one."

"I can't explain it to you, Basil, but I must never sit to you again. I will come and have tea with you. That will be just as pleasant."

"I can’t explain it to you, Basil, but I can never sit for you again. I will come and have tea with you. That will be just as nice."

"Pleasanter for you, I am afraid," murmured Hallward, regretfully. "And now good-by. I am sorry you won't let me look at the picture once again. But that can't be helped. I quite understand what you feel about it."

"Better for you, I’m afraid," Hallward whispered, sadly. "And now, goodbye. I wish you would let me see the painting one more time. But I understand why you don't want that."

As he left the room, Dorian Gray smiled to himself. Poor Basil! how little he knew of the true reason! And how strange it was that, instead of having been forced to reveal his own secret, he had succeeded, almost by chance, in wresting a secret from his friend! How much that strange confession explained to him! Basil's absurd fits of jealousy, his wild devotion, his extravagant panegyrics, his curious reticences,--he understood them all now, and he felt sorry. There was something tragic in a friendship so colored by romance.

As he left the room, Dorian Gray smiled to himself. Poor Basil! He had no idea of the real reason! And how strange it was that, instead of being forced to reveal his own secret, he had almost accidentally gotten a secret from his friend! That odd confession explained so much to him! Basil's ridiculous bouts of jealousy, his intense devotion, his over-the-top praise, his awkward silences—he understood them all now, and he felt a sense of sadness. There was something tragic about a friendship so infused with romance.

He sighed, and touched the bell. The portrait must be hidden away at all costs. He could not run such a risk of discovery again. It had been mad of him to have the thing remain, even for an hour, in a room to which any of his friends had access.

He sighed and rang the bell. The portrait had to be kept hidden at all costs. He couldn’t take the risk of being discovered again. It was reckless of him to let it stay, even for an hour, in a room that any of his friends could enter.




CHAPTER VIII

[...58] When his servant entered, he looked at him steadfastly, and wondered if he had thought of peering behind the screen. The man was quite impassive, and waited for his orders. Dorian lit a cigarette, [59] and walked over to the glass and glanced into it. He could see the reflection of Victor's face perfectly. It was like a placid mask of servility. There was nothing to be afraid of, there. Yet he thought it best to be on his guard.

[...58] When his servant came in, he stared at him intently, wondering if he had considered looking behind the screen. The man was completely expressionless and waited for his instructions. Dorian lit a cigarette, [59] walked over to the mirror, and glanced at it. He could see Victor's face clearly reflected. It looked like a calm mask of submission. There was nothing to fear there. Still, he thought it was wise to stay on his guard.

Speaking very slowly, he told him to tell the housekeeper that he wanted to see her, and then to go to the frame-maker's and ask him to send two of his men round at once. It seemed to him that as the man left the room he peered in the direction of the screen. Or was that only his fancy?

Speaking slowly, he told him to inform the housekeeper that he wanted to see her, and then to go to the frame-maker's and ask him to send two of his workers over right away. It seemed to him that as the man left the room, he glanced toward the screen. Or was that just his imagination?

After a few moments, Mrs. Leaf, a dear old lady in a black silk dress, with a photograph of the late Mr. Leaf framed in a large gold brooch at her neck, and old-fashioned thread mittens on her wrinkled hands, bustled into the room.

After a few moments, Mrs. Leaf, a sweet old lady in a black silk dress, with a photo of the late Mr. Leaf framed in a large gold brooch at her neck and old-fashioned knitted mittens on her wrinkled hands, hurried into the room.

"Well, Master Dorian," she said, "what can I do for you? I beg your pardon, sir,"--here came a courtesy,--"I shouldn't call you Master Dorian any more. But, Lord bless you, sir, I have known you since you were a baby, and many's the trick you've played on poor old Leaf. Not that you were not always a good boy, sir; but boys will be boys, Master Dorian, and jam is a temptation to the young, isn't it, sir?"

"Well, Dorian," she said, "what can I do for you? I’m sorry, sir,"—here she curtsyed—"I shouldn’t call you Dorian anymore. But, goodness, sir, I've known you since you were a baby, and you've played so many tricks on poor old Leaf. Not that you weren’t always a good boy, sir; but boys will be boys, Dorian, and jam is a temptation for the young, isn’t it, sir?"

He laughed. "You must always call me Master Dorian, Leaf. I will be very angry with you if you don't. And I assure you I am quite as fond of jam now as I used to be. Only when I am asked out to tea I am never offered any. I want you to give me the key of the room at the top of the house."

He laughed. "You have to call me Master Dorian, Leaf. I'll be really angry if you don’t. And I promise I'm just as fond of jam now as I used to be. It’s just that whenever I get invited to tea, they never offer me any. I want you to give me the key to the room at the top of the house."

"The old school-room, Master Dorian? Why, it's full of dust. I must get it arranged and put straight before you go into it. It's not fit for you to see, Master Dorian. It is not, indeed."

"The old classroom, Master Dorian? It's so dusty. I need to tidy it up and organize it before you go in. It's not suitable for you to see, Master Dorian. Truly, it's not."

"I don't want it put straight, Leaf. I only want the key."

"I don't want it laid out plain, Leaf. I just want the key."

"Well, Master Dorian, you'll be covered with cobwebs if you goes into it. Why, it hasn't been opened for nearly five years,--not since his lordship died."

"Well, Master Dorian, you'll be covered in cobwebs if you go in there. It hasn't been opened in almost five years—ever since his lordship died."

He winced at the mention of his dead uncle's name. He had hateful memories of him. "That does not matter, Leaf," he replied. "All I want is the key."

He flinched at the mention of his deceased uncle's name. He had bitter memories of him. "That doesn't matter, Leaf," he replied. "All I want is the key."

"And here is the key, Master Dorian," said the old lady, after going over the contents of her bunch with tremulously uncertain hands. "Here is the key. I'll have it off the ring in a moment. But you don't think of living up there, Master Dorian, and you so comfortable here?"

"And here’s the key, Master Dorian," said the old lady, after nervously sorting through her keys with shaky hands. "Here’s the key. I’ll take it off the ring in a second. But you don’t actually plan on living up there, do you, Master Dorian, when you’re so comfortable here?"

"No, Leaf, I don't. I merely want to see the place, and perhaps store something in it,--that is all. Thank you, Leaf. I hope your rheumatism is better; and mind you send me up jam for breakfast."

"No, Leaf, I don't. I just want to check out the place, and maybe put something in it—that’s all. Thanks, Leaf. I hope your rheumatism is feeling better; and don’t forget to send me some jam for breakfast."

Mrs. Leaf shook her head. "Them foreigners doesn't understand jam, Master Dorian. They calls it 'compot.' But I'll bring it to you myself some morning, if you lets me."

Mrs. Leaf shook her head. "Those foreigners don't understand jam, Master Dorian. They call it 'compote.' But I'll bring it to you myself one morning, if you let me."

"That will be very kind of you, Leaf," he answered, looking at the key; and, having made him an elaborate courtesy, the old lady left the room, her face wreathed in smiles. She had a strong objection to the French valet. It was a poor thing, she felt, for any one to be born a foreigner.

"That would be really nice of you, Leaf," he replied, glancing at the key; and with a deep bow, the old lady exited the room, her face beaming with smiles. She strongly disliked the French valet. She believed it was unfortunate for anyone to be born a foreigner.

[60] As the door closed, Dorian put the key in his pocket, and looked round the room. His eye fell on a large purple satin coverlet heavily embroidered with gold, a splendid piece of late seventeenth-century Venetian work that his uncle had found in a convent near Bologna. Yes, that would serve to wrap the dreadful thing in. It had perhaps served often as a pall for the dead. Now it was to hide something that had a corruption of its own, worse than the corruption of death itself,--something that would breed horrors and yet would never die. What the worm was to the corpse, his sins would be to the painted image on the canvas. They would mar its beauty, and eat away its grace. They would defile it, and make it shameful. And yet the thing would still live on. It would be always alive.

[60] As the door closed, Dorian put the key in his pocket and looked around the room. His gaze landed on a large purple satin coverlet, heavily embroidered with gold, a stunning piece of late seventeenth-century Venetian craftsmanship that his uncle had found in a convent near Bologna. Yes, that would be perfect to wrap the dreadful thing in. It had probably served many times as a pall for the dead. Now it was meant to hide something with its own kind of corruption, worse than the corruption of death itself—something that would breed horrors but never actually die. What the worm was to the corpse, his sins would be to the painted image on the canvas. They would tarnish its beauty and erode its grace. They would defile it and bring shame upon it. And yet the thing would still live on. It would always be alive.

He shuddered, and for a moment he regretted that he had not told Basil the true reason why he had wished to hide the picture away. Basil would have helped him to resist Lord Henry's influence, and the still more poisonous influences that came from his own temperament. The love that he bore him--for it was really love--had something noble and intellectual in it. It was not that mere physical admiration of beauty that is born of the senses, and that dies when the senses tire. It was such love as Michael Angelo had known, and Montaigne, and Winckelmann, and Shakespeare himself. Yes, Basil could have saved him. But it was too late now. The past could always be annihilated. Regret, denial, or forgetfulness could do that. But the future was inevitable. There were passions in him that would find their terrible outlet, dreams that would make the shadow of their evil real.

He shuddered, and for a moment he regretted not telling Basil the real reason he wanted to hide the painting away. Basil would have helped him resist Lord Henry's influence, and the even more toxic influences from his own personality. The love he felt for him—because it truly was love—had something noble and intellectual about it. It wasn't just that basic physical admiration for beauty that stems from the senses and fades when those senses tire. It was the kind of love that Michelangelo, Montaigne, Winckelmann, and even Shakespeare experienced. Yes, Basil could have saved him. But it was too late now. The past could always be erased. Regret, denial, or forgetfulness could do that. But the future was unavoidable. There were passions within him that would find their terrifying expression, dreams that would make the shadow of their evil real.

He took up from the couch the great purple-and-gold texture that covered it, and, holding it in his hands, passed behind the screen. Was the face on the canvas viler than before? It seemed to him that it was unchanged; and yet his loathing of it was intensified. Gold hair, blue eyes, and rose-red lips,--they all were there. It was simply the expression that had altered. That was horrible in its cruelty. Compared to what he saw in it of censure or rebuke, how shallow Basil's reproaches about Sibyl Vane had been!--how shallow, and of what little account! His own soul was looking out at him from the canvas and calling him to judgment. A look of pain came across him, and he flung the rich pall over the picture. As he did so, a knock came to the door. He passed out as his servant entered.

He picked up the lavish purple-and-gold fabric that draped over the couch and, holding it in his hands, moved behind the screen. Was the face on the canvas uglier than before? It seemed to him that it was the same; yet his disgust for it had deepened. The golden hair, blue eyes, and rose-red lips were all still there. It was just the expression that had changed. That was terrifying in its cruelty. Compared to what he saw in it as judgment or criticism, how trivial Basil's complaints about Sibyl Vane had been—so trivial and of little importance! His own soul was staring back at him from the canvas, calling him to account. A look of pain crossed his face, and he threw the rich fabric over the painting. Just then, there was a knock at the door. He walked out as his servant entered.

"The persons are here, monsieur."

"The people are here, sir."

He felt that the man must be got rid of at once. He must not be allowed to know where the picture was being taken to. There was something sly about him, and he had thoughtful, treacherous eyes. Sitting down at the writing-table, he scribbled a note to Lord Henry, asking him to send him round something to read, and reminding him that they were to meet at eight-fifteen that evening.

He thought that the guy had to be gotten rid of immediately. He couldn't be allowed to find out where the picture was going. There was something sneaky about him, and he had calculating, deceitful eyes. Sitting down at the writing desk, he quickly wrote a note to Lord Henry, asking him to send something for him to read and reminding him that they were supposed to meet at eight-fifteen that evening.

"Wait for an answer," he said, handing it to him, "and show the men in here."

"Wait for a reply," he said, passing it to him, "and bring the guys in here."

In two or three minutes there was another knock, and Mr. Ashton himself, the celebrated frame-maker of South Audley Street, came in with a somewhat rough-looking young assistant. Mr. Ashton was a florid, red-whiskered little man, whose admiration for art was considerably [61] tempered by the inveterate impecuniosity of most of the artists who dealt with him. As a rule, he never left his shop. He waited for people to come to him. But he always made an exception in favor of Dorian Gray. There was something about Dorian that charmed everybody. It was a pleasure even to see him.

In just a couple of minutes, there was another knock, and Mr. Ashton himself, the famous frame-maker from South Audley Street, walked in with a somewhat rough-looking young assistant. Mr. Ashton was a stout little man with a bright red beard, and while he had a strong appreciation for art, it was significantly dampened by the chronic financial struggles of most artists who worked with him. Usually, he never left his shop; he preferred to wait for people to come to him. However, he always made an exception for Dorian Gray. There was something about Dorian that captivated everyone. It was even a delight just to see him.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Gray?" he said, rubbing his fat freckled hands. "I thought I would do myself the honor of coming round in person. I have just got a beauty of a frame, sir. Picked it up at a sale. Old Florentine. Came from Fonthill, I believe. Admirably suited for a religious picture, Mr. Gray."

"What can I do for you, Mr. Gray?" he said, rubbing his plump, freckled hands. "I thought I’d do myself the favor of stopping by in person. I just got a stunning frame, sir. Picked it up at a sale. An old Florentine one. I think it came from Fonthill. It’s perfect for a religious picture, Mr. Gray."

"I am so sorry you have given yourself the trouble of coming round, Mr. Ashton. I will certainly drop in and look at the frame,--though I don't go in much for religious art,--but to-day I only want a picture carried to the top of the house for me. It is rather heavy, so I thought I would ask you to lend me a couple of your men."

"I'm really sorry you took the time to come by, Mr. Ashton. I will definitely stop by and check out the frame—though I'm not really into religious art—but today I just need a picture taken up to the top of the house for me. It's a bit heavy, so I was hoping you could spare a couple of your guys to help me out."

"No trouble at all, Mr. Gray. I am delighted to be of any service to you. Which is the work of art, sir?"

"No trouble at all, Mr. Gray. I'm happy to help you. Which piece of art is it, sir?"

"This," replied Dorian, moving the screen back. "Can you move it, covering and all, just as it is? I don't want it to get scratched going up-stairs."

"This," Dorian said, sliding the screen back. "Can you move it, covering and all, just as it is? I don’t want it to get scratched on the way upstairs."

"There will be no difficulty, sir," said the genial frame-maker, beginning, with the aid of his assistant, to unhook the picture from the long brass chains by which it was suspended. "And, now, where shall we carry it to, Mr. Gray?"

"There won't be any trouble, sir," said the friendly frame-maker, starting to unhook the picture from the long brass chains with the help of his assistant. "So, where do you want us to take it, Mr. Gray?"

"I will show you the way, Mr. Ashton, if you will kindly follow me. Or perhaps you had better go in front. I am afraid it is right at the top of the house. We will go up by the front staircase, as it is wider."

"I'll show you the way, Mr. Ashton, if you kindly follow me. Or maybe it’s best if you go ahead. I’m afraid it’s at the very top of the house. We'll take the front staircase since it's wider."

He held the door open for them, and they passed out into the hall and began the ascent. The elaborate character of the frame had made the picture extremely bulky, and now and then, in spite of the obsequious protests of Mr. Ashton, who had a true tradesman's dislike of seeing a gentleman doing anything useful, Dorian put his hand to it so as to help them.

He held the door open for them, and they walked out into the hallway and started up the stairs. The fancy design of the frame made the picture really heavy, and every so often, despite Mr. Ashton's servile objections—who genuinely hated seeing a gentleman doing any manual work—Dorian would lend a hand to help them.

"Something of a load to carry, sir," gasped the little man, when they reached the top landing. And he wiped his shiny forehead.

"That's quite a burden to carry, sir," puffed the little man when they got to the top landing. And he wiped his sweaty forehead.

"A terrible load to carry," murmured Dorian, as he unlocked the door that opened into the room that was to keep for him the curious secret of his life and hide his soul from the eyes of men.

"A heavy burden to bear," Dorian muttered as he unlocked the door that led into the room meant to hold the strange secret of his life and conceal his soul from the gaze of others.

He had not entered the place for more than four years,--not, indeed, since he had used it first as a play-room when he was a child and then as a study when he grew somewhat older. It was a large, well-proportioned room, which had been specially built by the last Lord Sherard for the use of the little nephew whom, being himself childless, and perhaps for other reasons, he had always hated and desired to keep at a distance. It did not appear to Dorian to have much changed. There was the huge Italian cassone, with its fantastically-painted panels and its tarnished gilt mouldings, in which he had so often hidden himself as a boy. There was the satinwood bookcase filled with his dog-eared school-books. On the wall behind it was hanging the same [62] ragged Flemish tapestry where a faded king and queen were playing chess in a garden, while a company of hawkers rode by, carrying hooded birds on their gauntleted wrists. How well he recalled it all! Every moment of his lonely childhood came back to him, as he looked round. He remembered the stainless purity of his boyish life, and it seemed horrible to him that it was here that the fatal portrait was to be hidden away. How little he had thought, in those dead days, of all that was in store for him!

He hadn’t been in that place for over four years—not since he first used it as a playroom when he was a kid and later as a study as he got older. It was a large, well-designed room, built specifically by the last Lord Sherard for his little nephew, whom he had always disliked and wanted to keep away, possibly for other reasons too. Dorian didn't think it had changed much. There was the huge Italian cassone with its wildly painted panels and tarnished gold trim, where he had often hidden as a boy. The satinwood bookcase was still there, filled with his worn schoolbooks. On the wall behind it hung the same ragged Flemish tapestry, depicting a faded king and queen playing chess in a garden, while a group of vendors rode by, carrying hooded birds on their leather-clad wrists. He remembered it all vividly! Every moment of his lonely childhood flooded back as he looked around. He recalled the pure innocence of his boyhood, and it felt terrible to him that this was where the cursed portrait was going to be hidden away. How little he had considered, in those forgotten days, everything that was waiting for him!

But there was no other place in the house so secure from prying eyes as this. He had the key, and no one else could enter it. Beneath its purple pall, the face painted on the canvas could grow bestial, sodden, and unclean. What did it matter? No one could see it. He himself would not see it. Why should he watch the hideous corruption of his soul? He kept his youth,--that was enough. And, besides, might not his nature grow finer, after all? There was no reason that the future should be so full of shame. Some love might come across his life, and purify him, and shield him from those sins that seemed to be already stirring in spirit and in flesh,--those curious unpictured sins whose very mystery lent them their subtlety and their charm. Perhaps, some day, the cruel look would have passed away from the scarlet sensitive mouth, and he might show to the world Basil Hallward's masterpiece.

But there was no other place in the house that was as safe from prying eyes as this. He had the key, and no one else could get in. Under its purple covering, the face painted on the canvas could become animalistic, damp, and filthy. What did it matter? No one could see it. He himself wouldn't see it. Why should he watch the ugly decay of his soul? He kept his youth—that was enough. And besides, couldn't his nature become better, after all? There was no reason the future should be filled with shame. Some love might enter his life and purify him, protecting him from those sins that seemed to already be stirring in both spirit and flesh—those strange, unimagined sins whose very mystery gave them their subtlety and allure. Perhaps, one day, the cruel look would fade from the scarlet, sensitive mouth, and he could reveal Basil Hallward's masterpiece to the world.

No; that was impossible. The thing upon the canvas was growing old, hour by hour, and week by week. Even if it escaped the hideousness of sin, the hideousness of age was in store for it. The cheeks would become hollow or flaccid. Yellow crow's-feet would creep round the fading eyes and make them horrible. The hair would lose its brightness, the mouth would gape or droop, would be foolish or gross, as the mouths of old men are. There would be the wrinkled throat, the cold blue-veined hands, the twisted body, that he remembered in the uncle who had been so stern to him in his boyhood. The picture had to be concealed. There was no help for it.

No; that was impossible. The thing on the canvas was aging, hour by hour and week by week. Even if it escaped the ugliness of sin, the ugliness of age was inevitable. The cheeks would become hollow or saggy. Yellow crow's-feet would form around the fading eyes and make them look terrible. The hair would lose its luster, the mouth would hang open or droop, and would look silly or gross, like the mouths of old men. There would be the wrinkled throat, the cold, blue-veined hands, the twisted body that he remembered from his uncle, who had been so strict with him in his childhood. The picture had to be hidden. There was no choice.

"Bring it in, Mr. Ashton, please," he said, wearily, turning round. "I am sorry I kept you so long. I was thinking of something else."

"Come in, Mr. Ashton, please," he said, tiredly, turning around. "I apologize for keeping you so long. I was preoccupied with something else."

"Always glad to have a rest, Mr. Gray," answered the frame-maker, who was still gasping for breath. "Where shall we put it, sir?"

"Always happy to take a break, Mr. Gray," replied the frame-maker, who was still catching his breath. "Where should we put it, sir?"

"Oh, anywhere, Here, this will do. I don't want to have it hung up. Just lean it against the wall. Thanks."

"Oh, anywhere is fine. Here works. I don't want it hung up. Just lean it against the wall. Thanks."

"Might one look at the work of art, sir?"

"Could I take a look at the artwork, sir?"

Dorian started. "It would not interest you, Mr. Ashton," he said, keeping his eye on the man. He felt ready to leap upon him and fling him to the ground if he dared to lift the gorgeous hanging that concealed the secret of his life. "I won't trouble you any more now. I am much obliged for your kindness in coming round."

Dorian flinched. "You probably won’t care about this, Mr. Ashton," he said, eyeing the man. He felt ready to pounce and throw him to the ground if he dared to lift the beautiful curtain that hid the secret of his life. "I won’t bother you anymore right now. I really appreciate your kindness in coming by."

"Not at all, not at all, Mr. Gray. Ever ready to do anything for you, sir." And Mr. Ashton tramped down-stairs, followed by the assistant, who glanced back at Dorian with a look of shy wonder in his rough, uncomely face. He had never seen any one so marvellous.

"Not at all, not at all, Mr. Gray. I’m always ready to do anything for you, sir." And Mr. Ashton stomped down the stairs, followed by the assistant, who looked back at Dorian with a shy, amazed expression on his rough, unattractive face. He had never seen anyone so incredible.

When the sound of their footsteps had died away, Dorian locked [63] the door, and put the key in his pocket. He felt safe now. No one would ever look on the horrible thing. No eye but his would ever see his shame.

When the sound of their footsteps faded, Dorian locked [63] the door and put the key in his pocket. He felt safe now. No one would ever see the terrible secret. No eyes but his would ever witness his shame.

On reaching the library he found that it was just after five o'clock, and that the tea had been already brought up. On a little table of dark perfumed wood thickly incrusted with nacre, a present from his guardian's wife, Lady Radley, who had spent the preceding winter in Cairo, was lying a note from Lord Henry, and beside it was a book bound in yellow paper, the cover slightly torn and the edges soiled. A copy of the third edition of the St. James's Gazette had been placed on the tea-tray. It was evident that Victor had returned. He wondered if he had met the men in the hall as they were leaving the house and had wormed out of them what they had been doing. He would be sure to miss the picture,--had no doubt missed it already, while he had been laying the tea-things. The screen had not been replaced, and the blank space on the wall was visible. Perhaps some night he might find him creeping up-stairs and trying to force the door of the room. It was a horrible thing to have a spy in one's house. He had heard of rich men who had been blackmailed all their lives by some servant who had read a letter, or overheard a conversation, or picked up a card with an address, or found beneath a pillow a withered flower or a bit of crumpled lace.

When he reached the library, he noticed it was just after five o'clock and that the tea had already been served. On a small table of dark, fragrant wood, heavily inlaid with mother-of-pearl—a gift from his guardian's wife, Lady Radley, who had spent the previous winter in Cairo—lay a note from Lord Henry, along with a book covered in yellow paper that was slightly torn and had stained edges. A copy of the third edition of the St. James's Gazette was on the tea tray. It was clear that Victor had come back. He wondered if Victor had run into the men in the hall as they were leaving and had managed to find out what they had been up to. He was sure he’d miss the painting—no doubt he already missed it while setting up the tea. The screen was still not put back, leaving a blank spot on the wall visible. Maybe one night he might catch him sneaking upstairs and trying to force the door to the room. It was a terrible thing to have a spy in one’s house. He had heard of wealthy men who were blackmailed for years by some servant who had read a letter, overheard a conversation, picked up a card with an address, or found a dried flower or a crumpled piece of lace under a pillow.

He sighed, and, having poured himself out some tea, opened Lord Henry's note. It was simply to say that he sent him round the evening paper, and a book that might interest him, and that he would be at the club at eight-fifteen. He opened the St. James's languidly, and looked through it. A red pencil-mark on the fifth page caught his eye. He read the following paragraph:

He sighed, poured himself some tea, and opened Lord Henry's note. It just mentioned that he was sending over the evening paper and a book that might interest him, and that he would be at the club at 8:15. He opened the St. James's casually and skimmed through it. A red pencil mark on the fifth page caught his eye. He read the following paragraph:

"INQUEST ON AN ACTRESS.--An inquest was held this morning at the Bell Tavern, Hoxton Road, by Mr. Danby, the District Coroner, on the body of Sibyl Vane, a young actress recently engaged at the Royal Theatre, Holborn. A verdict of death by misadventure was returned. Considerable sympathy was expressed for the mother of the deceased, who was greatly affected during the giving of her own evidence, and that of Dr. Birrell, who had made the post-mortem examination of the deceased."

"INQUEST ON AN ACTRESS.--An inquest was held this morning at the Bell Tavern, Hoxton Road, by Mr. Danby, the District Coroner, regarding the body of Sibyl Vane, a young actress who had recently been engaged at the Royal Theatre, Holborn. A verdict of death by misadventure was given. There was considerable sympathy for the deceased’s mother, who was visibly affected while giving her testimony, as was Dr. Birrell, who performed the post-mortem examination."

He frowned slightly, and, tearing the paper in two, went across the room and flung the pieces into a gilt basket. How ugly it all was! And how horribly real ugliness made things! He felt a little annoyed with Lord Henry for having sent him the account. And it was certainly stupid of him to have marked it with red pencil. Victor might have read it. The man knew more than enough English for that.

He frowned slightly, ripped the paper in two, walked across the room, and tossed the pieces into a gold basket. Everything looked so ugly! And it was amazing how real ugliness affected everything! He felt a bit annoyed at Lord Henry for sending him the account. It was definitely foolish of him to mark it with a red pencil. Victor could have read it. The guy knew more than enough English for that.

Perhaps he had read it, and had begun to suspect something. And, yet, what did it matter? What had Dorian Gray to do with Sibyl Vane's death? There was nothing to fear. Dorian Gray had not killed her.

Maybe he had read it and started to think something was off. But really, what did it matter? What did Dorian Gray have to do with Sibyl Vane's death? There was nothing to worry about. Dorian Gray hadn't killed her.

His eye fell on the yellow book that Lord Henry had sent him. What was it, he wondered. He went towards the little pearl-colored octagonal stand, that had always looked to him like the work of some [64] strange Egyptian bees who wrought in silver, and took the volume up. He flung himself into an arm-chair, and began to turn over the leaves. After a few minutes, he became absorbed. It was the strangest book he had ever read. It seemed to him that in exquisite raiment, and to the delicate sound of flutes, the sins of the world were passing in dumb show before him. Things that he had dimly dreamed of were suddenly made real to him. Things of which he had never dreamed were gradually revealed.

His gaze landed on the yellow book that Lord Henry had sent him. What was it, he wondered. He approached the little pearl-colored octagonal stand, which had always seemed to him like the creation of some peculiar Egyptian bees working with silver, and picked up the book. He sank into an armchair and started flipping through the pages. After a few minutes, he became engrossed. It was the strangest book he had ever read. It felt like the sins of the world were being displayed silently before him in exquisite attire and the gentle sound of flutes. Things he had vaguely imagined suddenly became real to him. Things he had never imagined started to unfold gradually.

It was a novel without a plot, and with only one character, being, indeed, simply a psychological study of a certain young Parisian, who spent his life trying to realize in the nineteenth century all the passions and modes of thought that belonged to every century except his own, and to sum up, as it were, in himself the various moods through which the world-spirit had ever passed, loving for their mere artificiality those renunciations that men have unwisely called virtue, as much as those natural rebellions that wise men still call sin. The style in which it was written was that curious jewelled style, vivid and obscure at once, full of argot and of archaisms, of technical expressions and of elaborate paraphrases, that characterizes the work of some of the finest artists of the French school of Décadents. There were in it metaphors as monstrous as orchids, and as evil in color. The life of the senses was described in the terms of mystical philosophy. One hardly knew at times whether one was reading the spiritual ecstasies of some mediaeval saint or the morbid confessions of a modern sinner. It was a poisonous book. The heavy odor of incense seemed to cling about its pages and to trouble the brain. The mere cadence of the sentences, the subtle monotony of their music, so full as it was of complex refrains and movements elaborately repeated, produced in the mind of the lad, as he passed from chapter to chapter, a form of revery, a malady of dreaming, that made him unconscious of the falling day and the creeping shadows.

It was a novel without a plot and only one character, essentially just a psychological study of a young Parisian who spent his life trying to experience all the passions and ways of thinking that belonged to every century except his own. He aimed to embody the various moods that humanity had ever gone through, admiring those artificial renunciations that people foolishly call virtue, just as much as those natural rebellions that wise individuals still label sin. The writing style was a curious mix of vivid and obscure language, filled with slang, archaic terms, technical jargon, and elaborate paraphrases, characteristic of some of the finest artists from the French Décadent movement. It featured metaphors as bizarre as orchids, and as dark in color. The sensual experiences were articulated in the language of mystical philosophy. At times, it was hard to tell whether one was reading the spiritual ecstasies of a medieval saint or the morbid confessions of a modern sinner. It was a toxic book. The heavy scent of incense seemed to linger on its pages and affect the mind. The very rhythm of the sentences, the subtle monotony of their musicality, rich with complex refrains and detailed repetitions, created a state of reverie in the young man as he moved through the chapters, leading him into a dreamlike state where he lost track of the fading day and the encroaching shadows.

Cloudless, and pierced by one solitary star, a copper-green sky gleamed through the windows. He read on by its wan light till he could read no more. Then, after his valet had reminded him several times of the lateness of the hour, he got up, and, going into the next room, placed the book on the little Florentine table that always stood at his bedside, and began to dress for dinner.

Cloudless, with a single star shining through, a copper-green sky glimmered through the windows. He read by its faint light until he could no longer read. After his valet had reminded him multiple times about the late hour, he stood up, went into the next room, put the book on the small Florentine table that was always next to his bed, and started to get ready for dinner.

It was almost nine o'clock before he reached the club, where he found Lord Henry sitting alone, in the morning-room, looking very bored.

It was almost nine o'clock when he got to the club, where he saw Lord Henry sitting alone in the morning room, looking very bored.

"I am so sorry, Harry," he cried, "but really it is entirely your fault. That book you sent me so fascinated me that I forgot what the time was."

"I'm really sorry, Harry," he exclaimed, "but honestly, it's totally your fault. That book you sent me was so captivating that I lost track of time."

"I thought you would like it," replied his host, rising from his chair.

"I thought you would enjoy it," replied his host, standing up from his chair.

"I didn't say I liked it, Harry. I said it fascinated me. There is a great difference."

"I didn't say I liked it, Harry. I said it fascinated me. There's a big difference."

"Ah, if you have discovered that, you have discovered a great deal," murmured Lord Henry, with his curious smile. "Come, let us go in to dinner. It is dreadfully late, and I am afraid the champagne will be too much iced."

"Ah, if you've figured that out, you've found out a lot," murmured Lord Henry with his intriguing smile. "Come on, let’s go in for dinner. It’s really late, and I’m worried the champagne will be too cold."




CHAPTER IX

[65] For years, Dorian Gray could not free himself from the memory of this book. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that he never sought to free himself from it. He procured from Paris no less than five large-paper copies of the first edition, and had them bound in different colors, so that they might suit his various moods and the changing fancies of a nature over which he seemed, at times, to have almost entirely lost control. The hero, the wonderful young Parisian, in whom the romantic temperament and the scientific temperament were so strangely blended, became to him a kind of prefiguring type of himself. And, indeed, the whole book seemed to him to contain the story of his own life, written before he had lived it.

[65] For years, Dorian Gray couldn't escape the memory of this book. Or maybe it's more accurate to say that he never really tried to escape it. He ordered no less than five large-paper copies of the first edition from Paris and had them bound in different colors so they could match his various moods and the ever-changing whims of a nature he seemed to have almost completely lost control over at times. The hero, the amazing young Parisian, in whom the romantic and scientific temperaments were so oddly combined, became a kind of early version of himself in his eyes. In fact, the whole book felt like it contained the story of his own life, written before he had even experienced it.

In one point he was more fortunate than the book's fantastic hero. He never knew--never, indeed, had any cause to know--that somewhat grotesque dread of mirrors, and polished metal surfaces, and still water, which came upon the young Parisian so early in his life, and was occasioned by the sudden decay of a beauty that had once, apparently, been so remarkable. It was with an almost cruel joy--and perhaps in nearly every joy, as certainly in every pleasure, cruelty has its place--that he used to read the latter part of the book, with its really tragic, if somewhat over-emphasized, account of the sorrow and despair of one who had himself lost what in others, and in the world, he had most valued.

At one point, he was luckier than the book's incredible hero. He never experienced—nor did he ever have a reason to—those somewhat bizarre fears of mirrors, shiny metal surfaces, and still water that struck the young Parisian so early in his life, caused by the sudden decline of a beauty that had once seemed extraordinary. With an almost cruel pleasure—and perhaps in nearly every joy, especially in every pleasure, there’s a bit of cruelty—he would read the latter part of the book, with its truly tragic, though somewhat exaggerated, depiction of the sadness and despair of someone who had lost what he valued most in others and in the world.

He, at any rate, had no cause to fear that. The boyish beauty that had so fascinated Basil Hallward, and many others besides him, seemed never to leave him. Even those who had heard the most evil things against him (and from time to time strange rumors about his mode of life crept through London and became the chatter of the clubs) could not believe anything to his dishonor when they saw him. He had always the look of one who had kept himself unspotted from the world. Men who talked grossly became silent when Dorian Gray entered the room. There was something in the purity of his face that rebuked them. His mere presence seemed to recall to them the innocence that they had tarnished. They wondered how one so charming and graceful as he was could have escaped the stain of an age that was at once sordid and sensuous.

He definitely had no reason to be worried about that. The youthful charm that had captivated Basil Hallward and many others seemed to always be with him. Even those who had heard the worst things about him (and now and then strange rumors about his lifestyle circulated through London and became the talk of the clubs) couldn't believe anything bad when they saw him. He always had the look of someone who had remained untouched by the world. Men who spoke crudely fell silent when Dorian Gray walked into the room. There was something in the purity of his face that made them rethink their actions. His mere presence seemed to remind them of the innocence they had lost. They wondered how someone as charming and graceful as he could have escaped the dirt of an era that was both corrupt and indulgent.

He himself, on returning home from one of those mysterious and prolonged absences that gave rise to such strange conjecture among those who were his friends, or thought that they were so, would creep up-stairs to the locked room, open the door with the key that never left him, and stand, with a mirror, in front of the portrait that Basil Hallward had painted of him, looking now at the evil and aging face on the canvas, and now at the fair young face that laughed back at him from the polished glass. The very sharpness of the contrast used to quicken his sense of pleasure. He grew more and more enamoured of his own beauty, more and more interested in the corruption of his own soul. He would examine with minute care, and often with a monstrous and terrible delight, the hideous lines that seared the wrinkling forehead or crawled around the heavy sensual mouth, [66] wondering sometimes which were the more horrible, the signs of sin or the signs of age. He would place his white hands beside the coarse bloated hands of the picture, and smile. He mocked the misshapen body and the failing limbs.

He would come home from one of those mysterious and long absences that sparked such strange speculation among those who considered themselves his friends. Then, he would quietly go upstairs to the locked room, unlock the door with the key he always carried, and stand in front of the portrait that Basil Hallward had painted of him, holding a mirror. He’d look at the evil and aging face on the canvas, then at the handsome young face that smiled back at him from the shining glass. The sharp contrast heightened his pleasure. He became increasingly captivated by his own beauty and more intrigued by the decay of his own soul. He would examine, with great detail and often with a monstrous delight, the ugly lines that scarred his wrinkled forehead or crawled around his heavy sensual mouth, sometimes wondering which was worse—the signs of sin or the signs of age. He would place his white hands beside the coarse, bloated hands in the painting and smile. He mocked the misshapen body and the weak limbs.

There were moments, indeed, at night, when, lying sleepless in his own delicately-scented chamber, or in the sordid room of the little ill-famed tavern near the Docks, which, under an assumed name, and in disguise, it was his habit to frequent, he would think of the ruin he had brought upon his soul, with a pity that was all the more poignant because it was purely selfish. But moments such as these were rare. That curiosity about life that, many years before, Lord Henry had first stirred in him, as they sat together in the garden of their friend, seemed to increase with gratification. The more he knew, the more he desired to know. He had mad hungers that grew more ravenous as he fed them.

There were moments at night when, lying awake in his beautifully scented room or in the shabby space of the little notorious tavern near the docks, which he often visited under a fake name and in disguise, he would think about the destruction he had caused to his soul, with a sadness that felt even stronger because it was entirely self-centered. But moments like these were rare. That curiosity about life that Lord Henry had first awakened in him many years ago, when they sat together in their friend's garden, seemed to grow with satisfaction. The more he learned, the more he wanted to know. He had intense cravings that became more insatiable as he satisfied them.

Yet he was not really reckless, at any rate in his relations to society. Once or twice every month during the winter, and on each Wednesday evening while the season lasted, he would throw open to the world his beautiful house and have the most celebrated musicians of the day to charm his guests with the wonders of their art. His little dinners, in the settling of which Lord Henry always assisted him, were noted as much for the careful selection and placing of those invited, as for the exquisite taste shown in the decoration of the table, with its subtle symphonic arrangements of exotic flowers, and embroidered cloths, and antique plate of gold and silver. Indeed, there were many, especially among the very young men, who saw, or fancied that they saw, in Dorian Gray the true realization of a type of which they had often dreamed in Eton or Oxford days, a type that was to combine something of the real culture of the scholar with all the grace and distinction and perfect manner of a citizen of the world. To them he seemed to belong to those whom Dante describes as having sought to "make themselves perfect by the worship of beauty." Like Gautier, he was one for whom "the visible world existed."

Yet he wasn't truly reckless, at least not in his interactions with society. A couple of times each month during winter, and every Wednesday evening throughout the season, he would open up his beautiful home to the world and invite some of the most celebrated musicians of the time to enchant his guests with their incredible talent. His small dinner parties, which Lord Henry always helped organize, were known for both the thoughtful selection and arrangement of the invitees as well as the exquisite attention to detail in the table setting, featuring a harmonious blend of exotic flowers, embroidered linens, and antique plates made of gold and silver. In fact, many, especially among the younger men, saw—or imagined they saw—in Dorian Gray the perfect embodiment of a type they had often dreamed about during their Eton or Oxford days. This type combined the genuine culture of a scholar with all the elegance, refinement, and poise of a worldly citizen. To them, he seemed to be among those whom Dante described as having sought to "make themselves perfect by the worship of beauty." Like Gautier, he was someone for whom "the visible world existed."

And, certainly, to him life itself was the first, the greatest, of the arts, and for it all the other arts seemed to be but a preparation. Fashion, by which what is really fantastic becomes for a moment universal, and Dandyism, which, in its own way, is an attempt to assert the absolute modernity of beauty, had, of course, their fascination for him. His mode of dressing, and the particular styles that he affected from time to time, had their marked influence on the young exquisites of the Mayfair balls and Pall Mall club windows, who copied him in everything that he did, and tried to reproduce the accidental charm of his graceful, though to him only half-serious, fopperies.

And definitely, to him, life itself was the first and greatest art form, and all the other arts seemed like just a warm-up for it. Fashion, which makes what is truly fantastic briefly universal, and Dandyism, which is its own way of asserting the absolute modernity of beauty, definitely fascinated him. His way of dressing and the specific styles he adopted from time to time had a significant influence on the young trendsetters at the Mayfair balls and Pall Mall club windows, who copied everything he did and tried to recreate the effortless charm of his elegant, though to him only half-serious, quirks.

For, while he was but too ready to accept the position that was almost immediately offered to him on his coming of age, and found, indeed, a subtle pleasure in the thought that he might really become to the London of his own day what to imperial Neronian Rome the author of the "Satyricon" had once been, yet in his inmost heart he desired to be something more than a mere arbiter elegantiarum, to be consulted on the wearing of a jewel, or the knotting of a necktie, or [67] the conduct of a cane. He sought to elaborate some new scheme of life that would have its reasoned philosophy and its ordered principles and find in the spiritualizing of the senses its highest realization.

While he was more than willing to accept the position that was almost immediately offered to him when he came of age, and actually found a subtle pleasure in the thought that he might truly become, for contemporary London, what the author of the "Satyricon" had once been for imperial Neronian Rome, deep down he wanted to be more than just a connoisseur of refinement—someone to be consulted on things like wearing jewelry, tying a necktie, or handling a cane. He aimed to develop a new way of life that had a coherent philosophy and structured principles, finding its ultimate expression in the spiritual enhancement of the senses.

The worship of the senses has often, and with much justice, been decried, men feeling a natural instinct of terror about passions and sensations that seem stronger than ourselves, and that we are conscious of sharing with the less highly organized forms of existence. But it appeared to Dorian Gray that the true nature of the senses had never been understood, and that they had remained savage and animal merely because the world had sought to starve them into submission or to kill them by pain, instead of aiming at making them elements of a new spirituality, of which a fine instinct for beauty was to be the dominant characteristic. As he looked back upon man moving through History, he was haunted by a feeling of loss. So much had been surrendered! and to such little purpose! There had been mad wilful rejections, monstrous forms of self-torture and self-denial, whose origin was fear, and whose result was a degradation infinitely more terrible than that fancied degradation from which, in their ignorance, they had sought to escape, Nature in her wonderful irony driving the anchorite out to herd with the wild animals of the desert and giving to the hermit the beasts of the field as his companions.

The worship of the senses has often been criticized justifiably, as people instinctively fear passions and sensations that seem more powerful than themselves, which they realize they share with less complex forms of life. But Dorian Gray believed that the true nature of the senses had never been understood; they had remained untamed and animalistic because society tried to suppress them or destroy them through pain, instead of nurturing them into components of a new spirituality, where a refined appreciation for beauty would be the main focus. As he reflected on humanity's journey through history, he felt a profound sense of loss. So much had been given up! And for such little reason! There had been reckless and deliberate rejections, horrific forms of self-torture and self-denial, born out of fear, resulting in a degradation far worse than the imagined decline they were trying to flee from, with nature, in her cruel irony, driving the ascetic to mingle with wild animals in the desert and giving the hermit the creatures of the field as his companions.

Yes, there was to be, as Lord Henry had prophesied, a new hedonism that was to re-create life, and to save it from that harsh, uncomely puritanism that is having, in our own day, its curious revival. It was to have its service of the intellect, certainly; yet it was never to accept any theory or system that would involve the sacrifice of any mode of passionate experience. Its aim, indeed, was to be experience itself, and not the fruits of experience, sweet or bitter as they might be. Of the asceticism that deadens the senses, as of the vulgar profligacy that dulls them, it was to know nothing. But it was to teach man to concentrate himself upon the moments of a life that is itself but a moment.

Yes, there was going to be, as Lord Henry had predicted, a new hedonism that would reinvent life and free it from the harsh, unattractive puritanism that is experiencing a strange revival in our own time. It was definitely going to embrace the intellect, but it would never accept any theory or system that required sacrificing any form of passionate experience. Its goal was to focus on experience itself, rather than the outcomes of experience, whether sweet or bitter. It was going to ignore the asceticism that numbs the senses, just as it would disregard the crass indulgence that dulls them. Instead, it was going to teach people to concentrate on the moments of a life that is, in reality, just a fleeting moment.

There are few of us who have not sometimes wakened before dawn, either after one of those dreamless nights that make one almost enamoured of death, or one of those nights of horror and misshapen joy, when through the chambers of the brain sweep phantoms more terrible than reality itself, and instinct with that vivid life that lurks in all grotesques, and that lends to Gothic art its enduring vitality, this art being, one might fancy, especially the art of those whose minds have been troubled with the malady of revery. Gradually white fingers creep through the curtains, and they appear to tremble. Black fantastic shadows crawl into the corners of the room, and crouch there. Outside, there is the stirring of birds among the leaves, or the sound of men going forth to their work, or the sigh and sob of the wind coming down from the hills, and wandering round the silent house, as though it feared to wake the sleepers. Veil after veil of thin dusky gauze is lifted, and by degrees the forms and colors of things are restored to them, and we watch the dawn remaking the world in its antique pattern. The wan mirrors get back their mimic life. The flameless tapers stand where we have left them, and beside them [68] lies the half-read book that we had been studying, or the wired flower that we had worn at the ball, or the letter that we had been afraid to read, or that we had read too often. Nothing seems to us changed. Out of the unreal shadows of the night comes back the real life that we had known. We have to resume it where we had left off, and there steals over us a terrible sense of the necessity for the continuance of energy in the same wearisome round of stereotyped habits, or a wild longing, it may be, that our eyelids might open some morning upon a world that had been re-fashioned anew for our pleasure in the darkness, a world in which things would have fresh shapes and colors, and be changed, or have other secrets, a world in which the past would have little or no place, or survive, at any rate, in no conscious form of obligation or regret, the remembrance even of joy having its bitterness, and the memories of pleasure their pain.

Few of us haven’t woken before dawn at times, either after one of those dreamless nights that almost make you feel fond of death, or one of those nights filled with horror and twisted joy, when terrifying phantoms race through your thoughts, more awful than reality itself, infused with the vivid life that exists in all grotesques, which gives Gothic art its lasting vitality—an art perhaps especially appreciated by those whose minds have been plagued by daydreaming. Slowly, pale fingers creep through the curtains, appearing to quiver. Dark, fantastic shadows crawl into the corners of the room and huddle there. Outside, you can hear birds rustling among the leaves, or men heading off to work, or the sigh and moan of the wind coming down from the hills, drifting around the quiet house as if it fears waking the sleepers. Layer by layer, thin, dark veils are lifted, and gradually the shapes and colors of things return to view, as we watch dawn recreate the world in its timeless pattern. The pale mirrors regain their reflective life. The burnt-out candles sit where we left them, and beside them lies the half-read book we had been studying, or the wired flower we wore to the ball, or the letter we were afraid to read, or that we read too often. Nothing seems changed to us. From the unreal shadows of the night, real life comes back to us. We have to pick it up where we left off, and a heavy feeling of the need to continue the same tedious cycle of tired habits washes over us, or perhaps a wild yearning that one morning we might open our eyes to a world transformed for our delight in the darkness, a world where things have new shapes and colors, changed or hiding new secrets, a world where the past holds little or no significance, or at least doesn’t exist in any tangible form of obligation or regret, where even joyful memories are tinged with bitterness, and happy times bring their own pain.

It was the creation of such worlds as these that seemed to Dorian Gray to be the true object, or among the true objects, of life; and in his search for sensations that would be at once new and delightful, and possess that element of strangeness that is so essential to romance, he would often adopt certain modes of thought that he knew to be really alien to his nature, abandon himself to their subtle influences, and then, having, as it were, caught their color and satisfied his intellectual curiosity, leave them with that curious indifference that is not incompatible with a real ardor of temperament, and that indeed, according to certain modern psychologists, is often a condition of it.

It was the creation of worlds like these that seemed to Dorian Gray to be the true purpose, or one of the true purposes, of life; and in his quest for sensations that were both new and enjoyable, and had that element of strangeness essential to romance, he would often adopt certain ways of thinking that he knew were really not like him, surrender himself to their subtle effects, and then, having, in a sense, taken on their hue and satisfied his intellectual curiosity, move on with that strange indifference that can coexist with a real passion for life, and that, in fact, according to some modern psychologists, is often a sign of it.

It was rumored of him once that he was about to join the Roman Catholic communion; and certainly the Roman ritual had always a great attraction for him. The daily sacrifice, more awful really than all the sacrifices of the antique world, stirred him as much by its superb rejection of the evidence of the senses as by the primitive simplicity of its elements and the eternal pathos of the human tragedy that it sought to symbolize. He loved to kneel down on the cold marble pavement, and with the priest, in his stiff flowered cope, slowly and with white hands moving aside the veil of the tabernacle, and raising aloft the jewelled lantern-shaped monstrance with that pallid wafer that at times, one would fain think, is indeed the "panis caelestis," the bread of angels, or, robed in the garments of the Passion of Christ, breaking the Host into the chalice, and smiting his breast for his sins. The fuming censers, that the grave boys, in their lace and scarlet, tossed into the air like great gilt flowers, had their subtle fascination for him. As he passed out, he used to look with wonder at the black confessionals, and long to sit in the dim shadow of one of them and listen to men and women whispering through the tarnished grating the true story of their lives.

It was once rumored that he was about to join the Roman Catholic Church, and the Roman rituals had always fascinated him. The daily sacrifice, far more daunting than all the offerings of the ancient world, captivated him as much with its bold denial of sensory evidence as with the primitive simplicity of its elements and the timeless sadness of the human tragedy it aimed to represent. He loved kneeling on the cold marble floor, watching the priest in his elaborate flowered cope, slowly moving aside the veil of the tabernacle with his white hands, and lifting the jeweled lantern-shaped monstrance with that pale wafer that, at times, one could almost believe is truly the "panis caelestis," the bread of angels, or, dressed in the garments of Christ’s Passion, breaking the Host into the chalice and striking his breast for his sins. The swinging censers, tossed through the air by the solemn boys in their lace and scarlet, had a subtle charm for him. As he exited, he would gaze in wonder at the dark confessionals, longing to sit in the dim shadows of one and listen to men and women whispering their true stories through the tarnished grating.

But he never fell into the error of arresting his intellectual development by any formal acceptance of creed or system, or of mistaking, for a house in which to live, an inn that is but suitable for the sojourn of a night, or for a few hours of a night in which there are no stars and the moon is in travail. Mysticism, with its marvellous power of making common things strange to us, and the subtle antinomianism that always seems to accompany it, moved him for a season; and for a [69] season he inclined to the materialistic doctrines of the Darwinismus movement in Germany, and found a curious pleasure in tracing the thoughts and passions of men to some pearly cell in the brain, or some white nerve in the body, delighting in the conception of the absolute dependence of the spirit on certain physical conditions, morbid or healthy, normal or diseased. Yet, as has been said of him before, no theory of life seemed to him to be of any importance compared with life itself. He felt keenly conscious of how barren all intellectual speculation is when separated from action and experiment. He knew that the senses, no less than the soul, have their mysteries to reveal.

But he never made the mistake of stunting his intellectual growth by fully committing to any belief system or creed, nor did he confuse a temporary stopover for a permanent home, especially in a night lacking stars and the moon in distress. Mysticism, with its incredible ability to make ordinary things feel unfamiliar, and the subtle lawlessness that often accompanies it, fascinated him for a time. He also leaned toward the materialistic ideas of the Darwinian movement in Germany and took a strange pleasure in tracing human thoughts and emotions back to some tiny cell in the brain or some nerve in the body, enjoying the idea of how completely the spirit relies on certain physical conditions, whether they're unhealthy or normal. Yet, as has been stated about him before, no theory of life ever seemed as significant to him as living itself. He was acutely aware of how empty intellectual speculation is when it's disconnected from action and experimentation. He understood that the senses, just like the soul, have their own mysteries to uncover.

And so he would now study perfumes, and the secrets of their manufacture, distilling heavily-scented oils, and burning odorous gums from the East. He saw that there was no mood of the mind that had not its counterpart in the sensuous life, and set himself to discover their true relations, wondering what there was in frankincense that made one mystical, and in ambergris that stirred one's passions, and in violets that woke the memory of dead romances, and in musk that troubled the brain, and in champak that stained the imagination; and seeking often to elaborate a real psychology of perfumes, and to estimate the several influences of sweet-smelling roots, and scented pollen-laden flowers, of aromatic balms, and of dark and fragrant woods, of spikenard that sickens, of hovenia that makes men mad, and of aloes that are said to be able to expel melancholy from the soul.

So now he would study perfumes and how they're made, distilling fragrant oils and burning aromatic resins from the East. He realized that every mood had its match in sensory experiences and set out to uncover their true connections. He wondered what made frankincense so mystical, how ambergris sparked passion, why violets brought back memories of lost romances, what it was about musk that stirred the mind, and how champak colored the imagination. He often sought to create a genuine psychology of perfumes and understand the effects of sweet-smelling roots, pollen-filled flowers, fragrant balms, dark aromatic woods, spikenard that makes one feel ill, hovenia that drives people mad, and aloes said to chase away melancholy from the soul.

At another time he devoted himself entirely to music, and in a long latticed room, with a vermilion-and-gold ceiling and walls of olive-green lacquer, he used to give curious concerts in which mad gypsies tore wild music from little zithers, or grave yellow-shawled Tunisians plucked at the strained strings of monstrous lutes, while grinning negroes beat monotonously upon copper drums, or turbaned Indians, crouching upon scarlet mats, blew through long pipes of reed or brass, and charmed, or feigned to charm, great hooded snakes and horrible horned adders. The harsh intervals and shrill discords of barbaric music stirred him at times when Schubert's grace, and Chopin's beautiful sorrows, and the mighty harmonies of Beethoven himself, fell unheeded on his ear. He collected together from all parts of the world the strangest instruments that could be found, either in the tombs of dead nations or among the few savage tribes that have survived contact with Western civilizations, and loved to touch and try them. He had the mysterious juruparis of the Rio Negro Indians, that women are not allowed to look at, and that even youths may not see till they have been subjected to fasting and scourging, and the earthen jars of the Peruvians that have the shrill cries of birds, and flutes of human bones such as Alfonso de Ovalle heard in Chili, and the sonorous green stones that are found near Cuzco and give forth a note of singular sweetness. He had painted gourds filled with pebbles that rattled when they were shaken; the long clarin of the Mexicans, into which the performer does not blow, but through which he inhales the air; the harsh turé of the Amazon tribes, that is sounded by the sentinels who sit all day long in trees, and that can be heard, it is said, at a distance of three leagues; the teponaztli, that [70] has two vibrating tongues of wood, and is beaten with sticks that are smeared with an elastic gum obtained from the milky juice of plants; the yotl-bells of the Aztecs, that are hung in clusters like grapes; and a huge cylindrical drum, covered with the skins of great serpents, like the one that Bernal Diaz saw when he went with Cortes into the Mexican temple, and of whose doleful sound he has left us so vivid a description. The fantastic character of these instruments fascinated him, and he felt a curious delight in the thought that Art, like Nature, has her monsters, things of bestial shape and with hideous voices. Yet, after some time, he wearied of them, and would sit in his box at the Opera, either alone or with Lord Henry, listening in rapt pleasure to "Tannhäuser," and seeing in that great work of art a presentation of the tragedy of his own soul.

At one point, he fully immersed himself in music, and in a long room with lattice windows, featuring a vermilion-and-gold ceiling and olive-green lacquered walls, he held intriguing concerts where wild music emerged from little zithers played by crazy gypsies, or serious Tunisians in yellow shawls strummed the taut strings of huge lutes, while smiling Black performers drummed monotonously on copper drums, and turbaned Indians, sitting on red mats, blew into long reed or brass pipes, trying to charm, or pretending to charm, large hooded snakes and frightening horned vipers. The jarring intervals and sharp dissonance of these raw tunes sometimes moved him more than the grace of Schubert, the poignant beauty of Chopin, or the grand harmonies of Beethoven, which often went unnoticed by him. He gathered the most unusual instruments from around the globe, either from the tombs of ancient civilizations or from the few primitive tribes that have withstood contact with Western cultures, and enjoyed playing and experimenting with them. He had the mysterious juruparis from the Rio Negro Indians, which women aren’t allowed to see, and even young men can only view after fasting and enduring scourging; the earthen jars from Peru that mimic the cries of birds; flutes made from human bones, which Alfonso de Ovalle heard in Chile; and the resonant green stones from near Cuzco that produce a uniquely sweet note. He owned painted gourds filled with pebbles that rattled when shaken; the long clarin from Mexico, which is played by inhaling; the harsh turé from Amazon tribes, blown by sentinels perched in trees all day long, and supposedly audible three leagues away; the teponaztli, which has two vibrating wooden tongues beaten with sticks coated in an elastic gum derived from plant sap; the yotl-bells of the Aztecs, hung in clusters like grapes; and a massive cylindrical drum covered with skins of large serpents, similar to one that Bernal Diaz described seeing during Cortes's visit to a Mexican temple. He was captivated by the fantastical nature of these instruments and found a peculiar joy in the idea that Art, like Nature, has her monsters—things with grotesque shapes and unsettling sounds. However, after a while, he grew tired of them and would sit in his box at the opera, either alone or with Lord Henry, listening intently to "Tannhäuser," seeing in that great piece of art a reflection of his own soul's tragedy.

On another occasion he took up the study of jewels, and appeared at a costume ball as Anne de Joyeuse, Admiral of France, in a dress covered with five hundred and sixty pearls. He would often spend a whole day settling and resettling in their cases the various stones that he had collected, such as the olive-green chrysoberyl that turns red by lamplight, the cymophane with its wire-like line of silver, the pistachio-colored peridot, rose-pink and wine-yellow topazes, carbuncles of fiery scarlet with tremulous four-rayed stars, flame-red cinnamon-stones, orange and violet spinels, and amethysts with their alternate layers of ruby and sapphire. He loved the red gold of the sunstone, and the moonstone's pearly whiteness, and the broken rainbow of the milky opal. He procured from Amsterdam three emeralds of extraordinary size and richness of color, and had a turquoise de la vieille roche that was the envy of all the connoisseurs.

On another occasion, he studied gems and showed up at a costume ball dressed as Anne de Joyeuse, Admiral of France, in an outfit adorned with five hundred and sixty pearls. He would often spend an entire day arranging and rearranging the various stones he had collected, such as the olive-green chrysoberyl that turns red under lamp light, the cymophane with its silver-like line, the pistachio-colored peridot, rose-pink and wine-yellow topazes, fiery scarlet carbuncles with shimmering four-rayed stars, flame-red cinnamon stones, orange and violet spinels, and amethysts with their alternating layers of ruby and sapphire. He admired the red gold of sunstone, the pearly whiteness of moonstone, and the shattered rainbow of milky opal. He obtained three exceptionally large and richly colored emeralds from Amsterdam, and owned a turquoise de la vieille roche that made all the collectors envious.

He discovered wonderful stories, also, about jewels. In Alphonso's "Clericalis Disciplina" a serpent was mentioned with eyes of real jacinth, and in the romantic history of Alexander he was said to have found snakes in the vale of Jordan "with collars of real emeralds growing on their backs." There was a gem in the brain of the dragon, Philostratus told us, and "by the exhibition of golden letters and a scarlet robe" the monster could be thrown into a magical sleep, and slain. According to the great alchemist Pierre de Boniface, the diamond rendered a man invisible, and the agate of India made him eloquent. The cornelian appeased anger, and the hyacinth provoked sleep, and the amethyst drove away the fumes of wine. The garnet cast out demons, and the hydropicus deprived the moon of her color. The selenite waxed and waned with the moon, and the meloceus, that discovers thieves, could be affected only by the blood of kids. Leonardus Camillus had seen a white stone taken from the brain of a newly-killed toad, that was a certain antidote against poison. The bezoar, that was found in the heart of the Arabian deer, was a charm that could cure the plague. In the nests of Arabian birds was the aspilates, that, according to Democritus, kept the wearer from any danger by fire.

He discovered amazing stories about gems as well. In Alphonso's "Clericalis Disciplina," a serpent with real jacinth eyes was mentioned, and in the romantic tale of Alexander, it was said he found snakes in the Jordan Valley "with real emerald collars growing on their backs." Philostratus told us there was a gem in the brain of a dragon, and "by displaying golden letters and a scarlet robe," the beast could be put into a magical sleep and killed. The famous alchemist Pierre de Boniface claimed that the diamond could make a person invisible, while the agate from India made them eloquent. The carnelian calmed anger, the hyacinth induced sleep, and the amethyst warded off the effects of wine. The garnet expelled demons, and the hydropicus drained the moon of its color. The selenite waxed and waned with the moon, and the meloceus, which detects thieves, could only be affected by the blood of kids. Leonardus Camillus claimed to have seen a white stone taken from the brain of a freshly killed toad, said to be a sure antidote to poison. The bezoar, found in the heart of Arabian deer, was a charm that could cure the plague. In the nests of Arabian birds was the aspilates, which, according to Democritus, protected the wearer from any fire danger.

The King of Ceilan rode through his city with a large ruby in his hand, as the ceremony of his coronation. The gates of the palace of John the Priest were "made of sardius, with the horn of the horned [71] snake inwrought, so that no man might bring poison within." Over the gable were "two golden apples, in which were two carbuncles," so that the gold might shine by day, and the carbuncles by night. In Lodge's strange romance "A Margarite of America" it was stated that in the chamber of Margarite were seen "all the chaste ladies of the world, inchased out of silver, looking through fair mirrours of chrysolites, carbuncles, sapphires, and greene emeraults." Marco Polo had watched the inhabitants of Zipangu place a rose-colored pearl in the mouth of the dead. A sea-monster had been enamoured of the pearl that the diver brought to King Perozes, and had slain the thief, and mourned for seven moons over his loss. When the Huns lured the king into the great pit, he flung it away,--Procopius tells the story,--nor was it ever found again, though the Emperor Anastasius offered five hundred-weight of gold pieces for it. The King of Malabar had shown a Venetian a rosary of one hundred and four pearls, one for every god that he worshipped.

The King of Ceylon rode through his city holding a large ruby in his hand during his coronation ceremony. The gates of John the Priest's palace were "made of sardius, with the horn of the horned [71] snake inlaid, ensuring that no one could bring poison inside." Above the gable were "two golden apples, each containing two carbuncles," allowing the gold to shine during the day and the carbuncles at night. In Lodge's strange romance "A Margarite of America," it was mentioned that in Margarite's chamber, "all the chaste ladies of the world were depicted in silver, peering through beautiful mirrors made of chrysolites, carbuncles, sapphires, and green emeralds." Marco Polo observed the people of Zipangu placing a rose-colored pearl in the mouths of the deceased. A sea monster had fallen in love with the pearl that a diver brought to King Perozes and had killed the thief, mourning for seven moons over its loss. When the Huns tricked the king into the great pit, he threw it away—Procopius recounts this story— and it was never found again, despite Emperor Anastasius offering five hundred weight of gold for it. The King of Malabar showed a Venetian a rosary made of one hundred and four pearls, each representing a different god he worshipped.

When the Duke de Valentinois, son of Alexander VI., visited Louis XII. of France, his horse was loaded with gold leaves, according to Brantôme, and his cap had double rows of rubies that threw out a great light. Charles of England had ridden in stirrups hung with three hundred and twenty-one diamonds. Richard II. had a coat, valued at thirty thousand marks, which was covered with balas rubies. Hall described Henry VIII., on his way to the Tower previous to his coronation, as wearing "a jacket of raised gold, the placard embroidered with diamonds and other rich stones, and a great bauderike about his neck of large balasses." The favorites of James I. wore ear-rings of emeralds set in gold filigrane. Edward II. gave to Piers Gaveston a suit of red-gold armor studded with jacinths, and a collar of gold roses set with turquoise-stones, and a skull-cap parsemé with pearls. Henry II. wore jewelled gloves reaching to the elbow, and had a hawk-glove set with twelve rubies and fifty-two great pearls. The ducal hat of Charles the Rash, the last Duke of Burgundy of his race, was studded with sapphires and hung with pear-shaped pearls.

When the Duke de Valentinois, son of Alexander VI, visited Louis XII of France, his horse was loaded with gold leaves, according to Brantôme, and his cap had double rows of rubies that sparkled brightly. Charles of England rode with stirrups adorned with three hundred and twenty-one diamonds. Richard II had a coat valued at thirty thousand marks, completely covered with balas rubies. Hall described Henry VIII, on his way to the Tower before his coronation, as wearing "a jacket of raised gold, the placard embroidered with diamonds and other precious stones, and a grand necklace around his neck of large balas rubies." The favorites of James I wore emerald earrings set in gold filigree. Edward II gifted Piers Gaveston a suit of red-gold armor studded with jacinths, along with a collar of gold roses set with turquoise stones and a skullcap sprinkled with pearls. Henry II wore jeweled gloves that reached to his elbows and had a hawk glove set with twelve rubies and fifty-two large pearls. The ducal hat of Charles the Rash, the last Duke of Burgundy of his lineage, was set with sapphires and adorned with pear-shaped pearls.

How exquisite life had once been! How gorgeous in its pomp and decoration! Even to read of the luxury of the dead was wonderful.

How beautiful life used to be! How stunning in its grandeur and embellishments! Even reading about the indulgence of those who have passed away was amazing.

Then he turned his attention to embroideries, and to the tapestries that performed the office of frescos in the chill rooms of the Northern nations of Europe. As he investigated the subject,--and he always had an extraordinary faculty of becoming absolutely absorbed for the moment in whatever he took up,--he was almost saddened by the reflection of the ruin that time brought on beautiful and wonderful things. He, at any rate, had escaped that. Summer followed summer, and the yellow jonquils bloomed and died many times, and nights of horror repeated the story of their shame, but he was unchanged. No winter marred his face or stained his flower-like bloom. How different it was with material things! Where had they gone to? Where was the great crocus-colored robe, on which the gods fought against the giants, that had been worked for Athena? Where the huge velarium that Nero had stretched across the Colosseum at Rome, on which were represented the starry sky, and Apollo driving a chariot drawn by [72] white gilt-reined steeds? He longed to see the curious table-napkins wrought for Elagabalus, on which were displayed all the dainties and viands that could be wanted for a feast; the mortuary cloth of King Chilperic, with its three hundred golden bees; the fantastic robes that excited the indignation of the Bishop of Pontus, and were figured with "lions, panthers, bears, dogs, forests, rocks, hunters,--all, in fact, that a painter can copy from nature;" and the coat that Charles of Orleans once wore, on the sleeves of which were embroidered the verses of a song beginning "Madame, je suis tout joyeux," the musical accompaniment of the words being wrought in gold thread, and each note, a square shape in those days, formed with four pearls. He read of the room that was prepared at the palace at Rheims for the use of Queen Joan of Burgundy, and was decorated with "thirteen hundred and twenty-one parrots, made in broidery, and blazoned with the king's arms, and five hundred and sixty-one butterflies, whose wings were similarly ornamented with the arms of the queen, the whole worked in gold." Catherine de Médicis had a mourning-bed made for her of black velvet powdered with crescents and suns. Its curtains were of damask, with leafy wreaths and garlands, figured upon a gold and silver ground, and fringed along the edges with broideries of pearls, and it stood in a room hung with rows of the queen's devices in cut black velvet upon cloth of silver. Louis XIV. had gold-embroidered caryatides fifteen feet high in his apartment. The state bed of Sobieski, King of Poland, was made of Smyrna gold brocade embroidered in turquoises with verses from the Koran. Its supports were of silver gilt, beautifully chased, and profusely set with enamelled and jewelled medallions. It had been taken from the Turkish camp before Vienna, and the standard of Mohammed had stood under it.

Then he shifted his focus to embroideries and the tapestries that served as murals in the cold rooms of Northern Europe. As he explored the topic—and he had a remarkable ability to become fully absorbed in whatever he was studying—he felt a sense of sadness about the decay that time inflicted on beautiful and extraordinary things. He, at least, had avoided that fate. Summer after summer passed, and the yellow jonquils bloomed and faded countless times, while nights of dread recounted their disgrace, but he remained unchanged. No winter tarnished his face or dulled his youthful glow. How different it was for material objects! Where had they vanished? Where was the grand crocus-colored robe, crafted for Athena, on which the gods battled the giants? What about the massive awning Nero had stretched across the Colosseum in Rome, depicting the starry sky and Apollo riding a chariot pulled by white gilded horses? He yearned to see the unique table napkins made for Elagabalus, showcasing all the fine foods one could desire for a feast; the burial cloth of King Chilperic, adorned with three hundred golden bees; the extravagant robes that outraged the Bishop of Pontus, decorated with "lions, panthers, bears, dogs, forests, rocks, hunters—all that a painter could replicate from nature;" and the coat once worn by Charles of Orleans, with embroidered lines from a song starting "Madame, je suis tout joyeux," the musical notes crafted in gold thread, each note shaped like a square formed with four pearls. He read about the room prepared at the palace in Rheims for Queen Joan of Burgundy, decorated with "1,321 parrots, embroidered and emblazoned with the king's arms, and 561 butterflies, whose wings were similarly adorned with the queen's arms, all crafted in gold." Catherine de Médicis had a mourning bed made of black velvet scattered with crescents and suns. Its curtains were of damask, featuring leafy wreaths and garlands on a gold and silver background, and edged with pearl embroidery; it stood in a room adorned with rows of the queen's motifs cut from black velvet against silver cloth. Louis XIV had gold-embroidered caryatids fifteen feet tall in his apartment. The state bed of Sobieski, King of Poland, was made from Smyrna gold brocade embroidered with turquoises and passages from the Koran. Its supports were gilded silver, beautifully chased and lavishly set with enameled and jeweled medallions. It had been taken from the Turkish camp before Vienna, beneath which the standard of Mohammed had flown.

And so, for a whole year, he sought to accumulate the most exquisite specimens that he could find of textile and embroidered work, getting the dainty Delhi muslins, finely wrought, with gold-threat palmates, and stitched over with iridescent beetles' wings; the Dacca gauzes, that from their transparency are known in the East as "woven air," and "running water," and "evening dew;" strange figured cloths from Java; elaborate yellow Chinese hangings; books bound in tawny satins or fair blue silks and wrought with fleurs de lys, birds, and images; veils of lacis worked in Hungary point; Sicilian brocades, and stiff Spanish velvets; Georgian work with its gilt coins, and Japanese Foukousas with their green-toned golds and their marvellously-plumaged birds.

And so, for an entire year, he tried to gather the most beautiful samples of textiles and embroidery that he could find, collecting delicate Delhi muslins, intricately made with gold-thread patterns and stitched over with iridescent beetle wings; the Dacca gauzes, known in the East as "woven air," "running water," and "evening dew" due to their sheer transparency; unusual patterned fabrics from Java; elaborate yellow Chinese tapestries; books covered in warm satin or light blue silk featuring designs of fleurs de lys, birds, and images; veils made with lace that was worked in the Hungarian style; Sicilian brocades, and stiff Spanish velvets; Georgian pieces adorned with gilt coins, and Japanese Foukousas showcasing their green-toned gold and brilliantly colored birds.

He had a special passion, also, for ecclesiastical vestments, as indeed he had for everything connected with the service of the Church. In the long cedar chests that lined the west gallery of his house he had stored away many rare and beautiful specimens of what is really the raiment of the Bride of Christ, who must wear purple and jewels and fine linen that she may hide the pallid macerated body that is worn by the suffering that she seeks for, and wounded by self-inflicted pain. He had a gorgeous cope of crimson silk and gold-thread damask, figured with a repeating pattern of golden pomegranates set in six-petalled formal blossoms, beyond which on either side was the pine- [73] apple device wrought in seed-pearls. The orphreys were divided into panels representing scenes from the life of the Virgin, and the coronation of the Virgin was figured in colored silks upon the hood. This was Italian work of the fifteenth century. Another cope was of green velvet, embroidered with heart-shaped groups of acanthus-leaves, from which spread long-stemmed white blossoms, the details of which were picked out with silver thread and colored crystals. The morse bore a seraph's head in gold-thread raised work. The orphreys were woven in a diaper of red and gold silk, and were starred with medallions of many saints and martyrs, among whom was St. Sebastian. He had chasubles, also, of amber-colored silk, and blue silk and gold brocade, and yellow silk damask and cloth of gold, figured with representations of the Passion and Crucifixion of Christ, and embroidered with lions and peacocks and other emblems; dalmatics of white satin and pink silk damask, decorated with tulips and dolphins and fleurs de lys; altar frontals of crimson velvet and blue linen; and many corporals, chalice-veils, and sudaria. In the mystic offices to which these things were put there was something that quickened his imagination.

He had a particular passion for church vestments, just as he did for everything related to the service of the Church. In the long cedar chests that lined the west gallery of his home, he had stored many rare and stunning examples of what is truly the attire of the Bride of Christ, who must wear purple, jewels, and fine linen to conceal the pale, emaciated body resulting from the suffering she seeks and the pain she inflicts on herself. He owned a magnificent cope made of crimson silk and gold-thread damask, decorated with a repeating pattern of golden pomegranates set within six-petaled blossoms, flanked on either side by a pineapple design crafted from seed pearls. The orphreys were divided into panels depicting scenes from the Virgin's life, and the coronation of the Virgin was illustrated in colorful silks on the hood. This was Italian craftsmanship from the fifteenth century. Another cope was made of green velvet, embroidered with heart-shaped clusters of acanthus leaves, from which long-stemmed white flowers emerged, the details highlighted with silver thread and colored crystals. The morse featured a seraph's head in raised gold-thread work. The orphreys were woven in a pattern of red and gold silk and adorned with medallions of various saints and martyrs, including St. Sebastian. He also had chasubles made of amber-colored silk, blue silk and gold brocade, and yellow silk damask, all illustrated with representations of Christ's Passion and Crucifixion, embroidered with lions, peacocks, and other symbols; dalmatics of white satin and pink silk damask, decorated with tulips, dolphins, and fleurs de lys; altar frontals made of crimson velvet and blue linen; and numerous corporals, chalice veils, and sudaria. In the mystical services these items were used for, there was something that sparked his imagination.

For these things, and everything that he collected in his lovely house, were to be to him means of forgetfulness, modes by which he could escape, for a season, from the fear that seemed to him at times to be almost too great to be borne. Upon the walls of the lonely locked room where he had spent so much of his boyhood, he had hung with his own hands the terrible portrait whose changing features showed him the real degradation of his life, and had draped the purple-and-gold pall in front of it as a curtain. For weeks he would not go there, would forget the hideous painted thing, and get back his light heart, his wonderful joyousness, his passionate pleasure in mere existence. Then, suddenly, some night he would creep out of the house, go down to dreadful places near Blue Gate Fields, and stay there, day after day, until he was driven away. On his return he would sit in front of the picture, sometimes loathing it and himself, but filled, at other times, with that pride of rebellion that is half the fascination of sin, and smiling, with secret pleasure, at the misshapen shadow that had to bear the burden that should have been his own.

For these things, and everything he gathered in his beautiful house, were meant to help him forget, ways for him to escape, at least for a little while, from the fear that sometimes felt almost unbearable. On the walls of the lonely locked room where he had spent so much of his childhood, he had hung the horrifying portrait whose shifting features reflected the true degradation of his life, and had placed a purple-and-gold pall in front of it like a curtain. For weeks, he wouldn’t go there, would forget the ugly painted thing, and regain his lightheartedness, his incredible joy, his passionate enjoyment of just being alive. Then, suddenly, one night, he would sneak out of the house, head to those awful places near Blue Gate Fields, and stay there, day after day, until he was forced to leave. Upon returning, he would sit in front of the portrait, sometimes hating it and himself, but at other times filled with that rebellious pride that is part of the thrill of sin, smiling, with secret satisfaction, at the misshapen shadow that had to bear the burden that should have been his own.

After a few years he could not endure to be long out of England, and gave up the villa that he had shared at Trouville with Lord Henry, as well as the little white walled-in house at Algiers where he had more than once spent his winter. He hated to be separated from the picture that was such a part of his life, and he was also afraid that during his absence some one might gain access to the room, in spite of the elaborate bolts and bars that he had caused to be placed upon the door.

After a few years, he couldn't stand being away from England for long, so he gave up the villa he had shared with Lord Henry in Trouville, as well as the small white house in Algiers where he had spent more than one winter. He hated being away from the artwork that was such a big part of his life, and he was also worried that someone might get into the room while he was gone, despite the elaborate locks and bars he had put on the door.

He was quite conscious that this would tell them nothing. It was true that the portrait still preserved, under all the foulness and ugliness of the face, its marked likeness to himself; but what could they learn from that? He would laugh at any one who tried to taunt him. He had not painted it. What was it to him how vile and full of shame it looked? Even if he told them, would they believe it?

He knew that this would reveal nothing to them. It was true that the portrait, despite all the grime and ugliness of the face, still bore a clear resemblance to him; but what could they take from that? He would mock anyone who tried to provoke him. He hadn’t painted it. What did it matter to him how disgusting and shameful it appeared? Even if he told them, would they believe him?

Yet he was afraid. Sometimes when he was down at his great [74] house in Nottinghamshire, entertaining the fashionable young men of his own rank who were his chief companions, and astounding the county by the wanton luxury and gorgeous splendor of his mode of life, he would suddenly leave his guests and rush back to town to see that the door had not been tampered with and that the picture was still there. What if it should be stolen? The mere thought made him cold with horror. Surely the world would know his secret then. Perhaps the world already suspected it.

Yet he was scared. Sometimes when he was at his grand house in Nottinghamshire, hosting the trendy young men of his social circle who were his main companions, and shocking the county with the outrageous luxury and stunning opulence of his lifestyle, he would suddenly leave his guests and rush back to the city to make sure that the door hadn't been messed with and that the painting was still there. What if it got stolen? Just thinking about it made him feel cold with fear. Surely the world would discover his secret then. Maybe the world already suspected it.

For, while he fascinated many, there were not a few who distrusted him. He was blackballed at a West End club of which his birth and social position fully entitled him to become a member, and on one occasion, when he was brought by a friend into the smoking-room of the Carlton, the Duke of Berwick and another gentleman got up in a marked manner and went out. Curious stories became current about him after he had passed his twenty-fifth year. It was said that he had been seen brawling with foreign sailors in a low den in the distant parts of Whitechapel, and that he consorted with thieves and coiners and knew the mysteries of their trade. His extraordinary absences became notorious, and, when he used to reappear again in society, men would whisper to each other in corners, or pass him with a sneer, or look at him with cold searching eyes, as if they were determined to discover his secret.

For while he captivated many, there were also quite a few who didn’t trust him. He was blackballed at a West End club where his background and social status definitely qualified him for membership, and one time, when a friend brought him into the smoking room of the Carlton, the Duke of Berwick and another guy noticeably stood up and walked out. After he turned twenty-five, strange rumors started circulating about him. People said he had been seen getting into fights with foreign sailors in a shady spot in the far reaches of Whitechapel, and that he hung out with thieves and counterfeiters, knowing all the ins and outs of their trade. His lengthy disappearances became well-known, and when he would re-enter society, men would gossip in corners, pass him with disdain, or look at him with cold, probing eyes, as if they were determined to uncover his secret.

Of such insolences and attempted slights he, of course, took no notice, and in the opinion of most people his frank debonair manner, his charming boyish smile, and the infinite grace of that wonderful youth that seemed never to leave him, were in themselves a sufficient answer to the calumnies (for so they called them) that were circulated about him. It was remarked, however, that those who had been most intimate with him appeared, after a time, to shun him. Of all his friends, or so-called friends, Lord Henry Wotton was the only one who remained loyal to him. Women who had wildly adored him, and for his sake had braved all social censure and set convention at defiance, were seen to grow pallid with shame or horror if Dorian Gray entered the room.

He ignored such insults and attempts to undermine him, and most people felt that his open, charming demeanor, his delightful boyish smile, and the endless charm of his incredible youth, which seemed to last forever, were enough to counter the rumors (as they referred to them) that were spread about him. However, it was noticed that those who had been closest to him seemed to distance themselves after a while. Out of all his friends, or so-called friends, Lord Henry Wotton was the only one who stayed loyal. Women who had once adored him madly and had defied societal norms for his sake were seen turning pale with embarrassment or fright whenever Dorian Gray walked into the room.

Yet these whispered scandals only lent him, in the eyes of many, his strange and dangerous charm. His great wealth was a certain element of security. Society, civilized society at least, is never very ready to believe anything to the detriment of those who are both rich and charming. It feels instinctively that manners are of more importance than morals, and the highest respectability is of less value in its opinion than the possession of a good chef. And, after all, it is a very poor consolation to be told that the man who has given one a bad dinner, or poor wine, is irreproachable in his private life. Even the cardinal virtues cannot atone for cold entrées, as Lord Henry remarked once, in a discussion on the subject; and there is possibly a good deal to be said for his view. For the canons of good society are, or should be, the same as the canons of art. Form is absolutely essential to it. It should have the dignity of a ceremony, as well as its unreality, and should combine the insincere character of a romantic play with the wit and beauty that make such plays charming. Is insincerity such a [75] terrible thing? I think not. It is merely a method by which we can multiply our personalities.

Yet these whispered scandals only added to his strange and dangerous charm in the eyes of many. His immense wealth provided a sense of security. Society, at least civilized society, is never quick to believe anything that tarnishes those who are both rich and charming. It instinctively feels that manners matter more than morals, and that high respectability is less valuable than having a good chef. After all, it's a poor comfort to be told that the person who served a bad dinner or cheap wine has an impeccable private life. Even the cardinal virtues can't make up for cold entrées, as Lord Henry once pointed out during a discussion on the matter; and there’s likely some truth to his opinion. The standards of good society are, or should be, the same as the standards of art. Form is absolutely essential. It should have the dignity of a ceremony, along with its unreal quality, and should blend the insincere nature of a romantic play with the wit and beauty that make such plays delightful. Is insincerity really such a terrible thing? I think not. It's just a way for us to expand our personalities.

Such, at any rate, was Dorian Gray's opinion. He used to wonder at the shallow psychology of those who conceive the Ego in man as a thing simple, permanent, reliable, and of one essence. To him, man was a being with myriad lives and myriad sensations, a complex multiform creature that bore within itself strange legacies of thought and passion, and whose very flesh was tainted with the monstrous maladies of the dead. He loved to stroll through the gaunt cold picture-gallery of his country-house and look at the various portraits of those whose blood flowed in his veins. Here was Philip Herbert, described by Francis Osborne, in his "Memoires on the Reigns of Queen Elizabeth and King James," as one who was "caressed by the court for his handsome face, which kept him not long company." Was it young Herbert's life that he sometimes led? Had some strange poisonous germ crept from body to body till it had reached his own? Was it some dim sense of that ruined grace that had made him so suddenly, and almost without cause, give utterance, in Basil Hallward's studio, to that mad prayer that had so changed his life? Here, in gold-embroidered red doublet, jewelled surcoat, and gilt-edged ruff and wrist-bands, stood Sir Anthony Sherard, with his silver-and-black armor piled at his feet. What had this man's legacy been? Had the lover of Giovanna of Naples bequeathed him some inheritance of sin and shame? Were his own actions merely the dreams that the dead man had not dared to realize? Here, from the fading canvas, smiled Lady Elizabeth Devereux, in her gauze hood, pearl stomacher, and pink slashed sleeves. A flower was in her right hand, and her left clasped an enamelled collar of white and damask roses. On a table by her side lay a mandolin and an apple. There were large green rosettes upon her little pointed shoes. He knew her life, and the strange stories that were told about her lovers. Had he something of her temperament in him? Those oval heavy-lidded eyes seemed to look curiously at him. What of George Willoughby, with his powdered hair and fantastic patches? How evil he looked! The face was saturnine and swarthy, and the sensual lips seemed to be twisted with disdain. Delicate lace ruffles fell over the lean yellow hands that were so overladen with rings. He had been a macaroni of the eighteenth century, and the friend, in his youth, of Lord Ferrars. What of the second Lord Sherard, the companion of the Prince Regent in his wildest days, and one of the witnesses at the secret marriage with Mrs. Fitzherbert? How proud and handsome he was, with his chestnut curls and insolent pose! What passions had he bequeathed? The world had looked upon him as infamous. He had led the orgies at Carlton House. The star of the Garter glittered upon his breast. Beside him hung the portrait of his wife, a pallid, thin-lipped woman in black. Her blood, also, stirred within him. How curious it all seemed!

That was definitely Dorian Gray's view. He often marveled at the simplistic understanding of those who see the self in humans as something straightforward, unchanging, and reliable. To him, a person was a being filled with countless lives and sensations, a complex and multifaceted creature bearing within it strange inheritances of thought and emotion, and whose very flesh was marked by the monstrous diseases of the dead. He loved to wander through the stark, chilly art gallery in his country house and gaze at the various portraits of those whose blood ran in his veins. Here was Philip Herbert, described by Francis Osborne in his "Memoires on the Reigns of Queen Elizabeth and King James" as someone who was "admired by the court for his good looks, which didn’t stay with him for long." Was it young Herbert's life that he sometimes lived? Had some mysterious toxic essence traveled from body to body until it reached him? Was that faint sense of ruined elegance what had made him so suddenly, and almost without reason, voice that wild wish in Basil Hallward's studio that had changed his life so dramatically? Here, in a gold-embroidered red doublet, jeweled surcoat, and gilt-edged ruff and wristbands, stood Sir Anthony Sherard, with his silver-and-black armor piled at his feet. What had this man's legacy been? Had the lover of Giovanna of Naples passed down to him some burden of sin and disgrace? Were his own actions merely the aspirations that the dead man had not dared to fulfill? Here, from the fading canvas, smiled Lady Elizabeth Devereux, in her gauzy hood, pearl-studded bodice, and pink-slashed sleeves. A flower was in her right hand, and her left held an enameled collar of white and damask roses. On a table beside her lay a mandolin and an apple. Her little pointed shoes had large green rosettes. He knew her story and the strange tales told about her lovers. Did he share any of her temperament? Those oval, heavy-lidded eyes seemed to look at him with curiosity. What about George Willoughby, with his powdered hair and elaborate patches? He looked so wicked! The face was gloomy and dark, and the sensual lips appeared twisted in disdain. Delicate lace ruffles fell over his lean yellow hands, weighed down with rings. He had been a dandy in the eighteenth century and a friend, in his youth, of Lord Ferrars. What of the second Lord Sherard, the companion of the Prince Regent in his most reckless days, and one of the witnesses at the secret marriage with Mrs. Fitzherbert? How proud and handsome he was, with his chestnut curls and arrogant stance! What passions had he passed on? The world had viewed him as disreputable. He had led the parties at Carlton House. The Garter star gleamed on his chest. Beside him hung the portrait of his wife, a pale, thin-lipped woman in black. Her blood, too, stirred within him. It all seemed so strange!

Yet one had ancestors in literature, as well as in one's own race, nearer perhaps in type and temperament, many of them, and certainly with an influence of which one was more absolutely conscious. There [76] were times when it seemed to Dorian Gray that the whole of history was merely the record of his own life, not as he had lived it in act and circumstance, but as his imagination had created it for him, as it had been in his brain and in his passions. He felt that he had known them all, those strange terrible figures that had passed across the stage of the world and made sin so marvellous and evil so full of wonder. It seemed to him that in some mysterious way their lives had been his own.

Yet one had literary ancestors, just as one had ancestors in one's own race, perhaps closer in type and temperament, many of them, and certainly with an influence that one was more fully aware of. There were times when it felt to Dorian Gray that all of history was just a record of his own life, not as he had lived it through actions and circumstances, but as his imagination had shaped it for him, existing in his mind and in his emotions. He felt that he had known them all, those strange and terrifying figures who had passed across the world stage and made sin so captivating and evil so full of wonder. It seemed to him that in some mysterious way their lives had been his own.

The hero of the dangerous novel that had so influenced his life had himself had this curious fancy. In a chapter of the book he tells how, crowned with laurel, lest lightning might strike him, he had sat, as Tiberius, in a garden at Capri, reading the shameful books of Elephantis, while dwarfs and peacocks strutted round him and the flute-player mocked the swinger of the censer; and, as Caligula, had caroused with the green-shirted jockeys in their stables, and supped in an ivory manger with a jewel-frontleted horse; and, as Domitian, had wandered through a corridor lined with marble mirrors, looking round with haggard eyes for the reflection of the dagger that was to end his days, and sick with that ennui, that taedium vitae, that comes on those to whom life denies nothing; and had peered through a clear emerald at the red shambles of the Circus, and then, in a litter of pearl and purple drawn by silver-shod mules, been carried through the Street of Pomegranates to a House of Gold, and heard men cry on Nero Caesar as he passed by; and, as Elagabalus, had painted his face with colors, and plied the distaff among the women, and brought the Moon from Carthage, and given her in mystic marriage to the Sun.

The hero of the thrilling novel that had such a huge impact on his life had this strange obsession. In a chapter of the book, he describes how, wearing a laurel crown to protect himself from lightning, he sat, like Tiberius, in a garden at Capri reading the scandalous books of Elephantis, while dwarfs and peacocks strutted around him and the flute player mocked the one swinging the censer; and, as Caligula, he partied with the green-shirted jockeys in their stables, and dined in an ivory trough with a horse adorned with jewels; and, as Domitian, he wandered through a corridor lined with marble mirrors, looking around with weary eyes for the reflection of the dagger that would end his life, feeling that boredom, that taedium vitae, that comes upon those who are denied nothing in life; and had gazed through a clear emerald at the bloody spectacle of the Circus, and then, in a litter of pearl and purple pulled by silver-shod mules, was carried down the Street of Pomegranates to a House of Gold, and heard people calling out for Nero Caesar as he passed by; and, as Elagabalus, had painted his face with colors, worked the distaff among the women, and brought the Moon from Carthage, offering her in a mystical marriage to the Sun.

Over and over again Dorian used to read this fantastic chapter, and the chapter immediately following, in which the hero describes the curious tapestries that he had had woven for him from Gustave Moreau's designs, and on which were pictured the awful and beautiful forms of those whom Vice and Blood and Weariness had made monstrous or mad: Filippo, Duke of Milan, who slew his wife, and painted her lips with a scarlet poison; Pietro Barbi, the Venetian, known as Paul the Second, who sought in his vanity to assume the title of Formosus, and whose tiara, valued at two hundred thousand florins, was bought at the price of a terrible sin; Gian Maria Visconti, who used hounds to chase living men, and whose murdered body was covered with roses by a harlot who had loved him; the Borgia on his white horse, with Fratricide riding beside him, and his mantle stained with the blood of Perotto; Pietro Riario, the young Cardinal Archbishop of Florence, child and minion of Sixtus IV., whose beauty was equalled only by his debauchery, and who received Leonora of Aragon in a pavilion of white and crimson silk, filled with nymphs and centaurs, and gilded a boy that he might serve her at the feast as Ganymede or Hylas; Ezzelin, whose melancholy could be cured only by the spectacle of death, and who had a passion for red blood, as other men have for red wine,--the son of the Fiend, as was reported, and one who had cheated his father at dice when gambling with him for his own soul; Giambattista Cibo, who in mockery took the name of Innocent, and into whose torpid veins the blood of three lads was infused by a [77] Jewish doctor; Sigismondo Malatesta, the lover of Isotta, and the lord of Rimini, whose effigy was burned at Rome as the enemy of God and man, who strangled Polyssena with a napkin, and gave poison to Ginevra d'Este in a cup of emerald, and in honor of a shameful passion built a pagan church for Christian worship; Charles VI., who had so wildly adored his brother's wife that a leper had warned him of the insanity that was coming on him, and who could only be soothed by Saracen cards painted with the images of Love and Death and Madness; and, in his trimmed jerkin and jewelled cap and acanthus-like curls, Grifonetto Baglioni, who slew Astorre with his bride, and Simonetto with his page, and whose comeliness was such that, as he lay dying in the yellow piazza of Perugia, those who had hated him could not choose but weep, and Atalanta, who had cursed him, blessed him.

Over and over, Dorian used to read this amazing chapter, along with the one right after it, where the hero talks about the fascinating tapestries he had made based on Gustave Moreau's designs. The tapestries depict the terrifying yet beautiful figures of those twisted or driven mad by Vice, Blood, and Weariness: Filippo, the Duke of Milan, who killed his wife and painted her lips with a scarlet poison; Pietro Barbi, the Venetian known as Paul II, who foolishly tried to claim the title of Formosus and whose tiara, worth two hundred thousand florins, came at the cost of a terrible sin; Gian Maria Visconti, who used hounds to hunt down living men and whose murdered body was covered with roses by a prostitute who loved him; the Borgia on his white horse, with Fratricide riding alongside him, his cloak stained with the blood of Perotto; Pietro Riario, the young Cardinal Archbishop of Florence, the favored child of Sixtus IV, whose beauty was matched only by his debauchery, and who welcomed Leonora of Aragon in a white and crimson silk pavilion filled with nymphs and centaurs, even gilding a boy to serve her at the feast like Ganymede or Hylas; Ezzelin, whose sadness could only be eased by the sight of death, with a thirst for red blood, much like others thirst for red wine—the son of the Devil, it was said, and one who had cheated his father at dice while gambling for his own soul; Giambattista Cibo, who mockingly took the name Innocent and had the blood of three young men injected into his sluggish veins by a Jewish doctor; Sigismondo Malatesta, the lover of Isotta and the lord of Rimini, whose effigy was burned in Rome as an enemy of both God and man, who strangled Polyssena with a napkin and poisoned Ginevra d'Este in an emerald cup, and in honor of a disgraceful passion, built a pagan church for Christian worship; Charles VI., who loved his brother's wife so passionately that a leper warned him of the madness that was approaching, and who could only find comfort in Saracen cards adorned with images of Love, Death, and Madness; and in his neat jerkin, jeweled cap, and flowing curls, Grifonetto Baglioni, who killed Astorre with his bride and Simonetto with his page, and whose beauty was such that, as he lay dying in the yellow piazza of Perugia, even those who despised him couldn't help but weep, and Atalanta, who cursed him, ended up blessing him.

There was a horrible fascination in them all. He saw them at night, and they troubled his imagination in the day. The Renaissance knew of strange manners of poisoning,--poisoning by a helmet and a lighted torch, by an embroidered glove and a jewelled fan, by a gilded pomander and by an amber chain. Dorian Gray had been poisoned by a book. There were moments when he looked on evil simply as a mode through which he could realize his conception of the beautiful.

There was a disturbing allure in all of it. He saw them at night, and they haunted his thoughts during the day. The Renaissance understood weird ways of poisoning—poisoning with a helmet and a lit torch, with an embroidered glove and a jeweled fan, with a gilded pomander and an amber chain. Dorian Gray had been poisoned by a book. There were times when he viewed evil merely as a way to express his idea of beauty.




CHAPTER X

[...77] It was on the 7th of November, the eve of his own thirty-second birthday, as he often remembered afterwards.

[...77] It was on November 7th, the day before his own thirty-second birthday, which he often recalled later.

He was walking home about eleven o'clock from Lord Henry's, where he had been dining, and was wrapped in heavy furs, as the night was cold and foggy. At the corner of Grosvenor Square and South Audley Street a man passed him in the mist, walking very fast, and with the collar of his gray ulster turned up. He had a bag in his hand. He recognized him. It was Basil Hallward. A strange sense of fear, for which he could not account, came over him. He made no sign of recognition, and went on slowly, in the direction of his own house.

He was walking home around eleven o'clock from Lord Henry's, where he had been dining, wrapped in heavy furs since the night was cold and foggy. At the corner of Grosvenor Square and South Audley Street, a man passed him in the mist, walking quickly with the collar of his gray coat turned up. He had a bag in his hand. He recognized him. It was Basil Hallward. An inexplicable sense of fear washed over him. He made no sign of recognition and continued on slowly toward his own house.

But Hallward had seen him. Dorian heard him first stopping, and then hurrying after him. In a few moments his hand was on his arm.

But Hallward had spotted him. Dorian heard him pause first, and then rush after him. In a few moments, his hand was on Dorian's arm.

"Dorian! What an extraordinary piece of luck! I have been waiting for you ever since nine o'clock in your library. Finally I took pity on your tired servant, and told him to go to bed, as he let me out. I am off to Paris by the midnight train, and I wanted particularly to see you before I left. I thought it was you, or rather your fur coat, as you passed me. But I wasn't quite sure. Didn't you recognize me?"

"Dorian! What an amazing stroke of luck! I’ve been waiting for you in your library since nine o’clock. Finally, I felt sorry for your tired servant and told him to go to bed as he let me out. I’m heading to Paris on the midnight train, and I especially wanted to see you before I left. I thought it was you, or rather your fur coat, as you went by me. But I wasn’t completely sure. Didn’t you recognize me?"

"In this fog, my dear Basil? Why, I can't even recognize Grosvenor Square. I believe my house is somewhere about here, but I don't feel at all certain about it. I am sorry you are going away, as I have not seen you for ages. But I suppose you will be back soon?"

"In this fog, my dear Basil? I can hardly even recognize Grosvenor Square. I think my house is around here somewhere, but I'm not quite sure about that. I'm sorry you're leaving, as I haven't seen you in ages. But I guess you'll be back soon?"

"No: I am going to be out of England for six months. I intend [78] to take a studio in Paris, and shut myself up till I have finished a great picture I have in my head. However, it wasn't about myself I wanted to talk. Here we are at your door. Let me come in for a moment. I have something to say to you."

"No: I’m going to be out of England for six months. I plan to get a studio in Paris and lock myself away until I finish a big painting I have in mind. But I didn’t want to talk about myself. Here we are at your door. Let me come in for a minute. I have something to tell you."

"I shall be charmed. But won't you miss your train?" said Dorian Gray, languidly, as he passed up the steps and opened the door with his latch-key.

"I'd be delighted. But won't you miss your train?" said Dorian Gray, casually, as he walked up the steps and opened the door with his latch-key.

The lamp-light struggled out through the fog, and Hallward looked at his watch. "I have heaps of time," he answered. "The train doesn't go till twelve-fifteen, and it is only just eleven. In fact, I was on my way to the club to look for you, when I met you. You see, I shan't have any delay about luggage, as I have sent on my heavy things. All I have with me is in this bag, and I can easily get to Victoria in twenty minutes."

The lamp light fought its way through the fog, and Hallward checked his watch. "I have plenty of time," he said. "The train doesn't leave until twelve-fifteen, and it's only just eleven. Actually, I was heading to the club to find you when I ran into you. You see, I won't have any holdups with luggage since I've sent my heavy stuff ahead. All I have with me is in this bag, and I can easily get to Victoria in twenty minutes."

Dorian looked at him and smiled. "What a way for a fashionable painter to travel! A Gladstone bag, and an ulster! Come in, or the fog will get into the house. And mind you don't talk about anything serious. Nothing is serious nowadays. At least nothing should be."

Dorian looked at him and smiled. "What a way for a trendy artist to travel! A Gladstone bag and an overcoat! Come in, or the fog will seep into the house. And make sure not to discuss anything serious. Nothing is serious these days. At least, nothing should be."

Hallward shook his head, as he entered, and followed Dorian into the library. There was a bright wood fire blazing in the large open hearth. The lamps were lit, and an open Dutch silver spirit-case stood, with some siphons of soda-water and large cut-glass tumblers, on a little table.

Hallward shook his head as he walked in and followed Dorian into the library. There was a bright wood fire crackling in the large open hearth. The lamps were on, and an open Dutch silver spirit case sat on a small table, alongside some soda water siphons and large cut-glass tumblers.

"You see your servant made me quite at home, Dorian. He gave me everything I wanted, including your best cigarettes. He is a most hospitable creature. I like him much better than the Frenchman you used to have. What has become of the Frenchman, by the bye?"

"You see, your servant really made me feel at home, Dorian. He gave me everything I wanted, including your best cigarettes. He's very hospitable. I like him a lot more than the Frenchman you used to have. By the way, what happened to the Frenchman?"

Dorian shrugged his shoulders. "I believe he married Lady Ashton's maid, and has established her in Paris as an English dressmaker. Anglomanie is very fashionable over there now, I hear. It seems silly of the French, doesn't it? But--do you know?--he was not at all a bad servant. I never liked him, but I had nothing to complain about. One often imagines things that are quite absurd. He was really very devoted to me, and seemed quite sorry when he went away. Have another brandy-and-soda? Or would you like hock-and-seltzer? I always take hock-and-seltzer myself. There is sure to be some in the next room."

Dorian shrugged. "I think he married Lady Ashton's maid and set her up in Paris as an English dressmaker. Anglomanie is really trendy over there now, or so I hear. It seems silly of the French, doesn’t it? But—do you know?—he wasn't a bad servant at all. I never liked him, but I can’t say I had any complaints. People often imagine things that are completely ridiculous. He was actually very loyal to me and seemed quite sad when he left. Want another brandy and soda? Or would you prefer hock and seltzer? I usually go for hock and seltzer myself. There should be some in the next room."

"Thanks, I won't have anything more," said Hallward, taking his cap and coat off, and throwing them on the bag that he had placed in the corner. "And now, my dear fellow, I want to speak to you seriously. Don't frown like that. You make it so much more difficult for me."

"Thanks, I won't have anything else," Hallward said, taking off his cap and coat and tossing them on the bag he had put in the corner. "Now, my friend, I want to talk to you seriously. Stop frowning like that. It makes this so much harder for me."

"What is it all about?" cried Dorian, in his petulant way, flinging himself down on the sofa. "I hope it is not about myself. I am tired of myself to-night. I should like to be somebody else."

"What’s it all about?" Dorian exclaimed, in his sulky way, throwing himself down on the sofa. "I hope it’s not about me. I’m tired of myself tonight. I’d like to be someone else."

"It is about yourself," answered Hallward, in his grave, deep voice, "and I must say it to you. I shall only keep you half an hour."

"It’s about you," Hallward replied in his serious, deep voice, "and I need to tell you this. I’ll only take half an hour of your time."

Dorian sighed, and lit a cigarette. "Half an hour!" he murmured.

Dorian sighed and lit a cigarette. "Thirty minutes!" he murmured.

[79] "It is not much to ask of you, Dorian, and it is entirely for your own sake that I am speaking. I think it right that you should know that the most dreadful things are being said about you in London,--things that I could hardly repeat to you."

[79] "I'm not asking for much, Dorian, and I'm only saying this for your own good. I think it's important for you to know that some really awful things are being said about you in London—things that I can barely bring myself to tell you."

"I don't wish to know anything about them. I love scandals about other people, but scandals about myself don't interest me. They have not got the charm of novelty."

"I don't want to know anything about them. I love hearing about scandals involving other people, but scandals about myself don't interest me. They lack that sense of novelty."

"They must interest you, Dorian. Every gentleman is interested in his good name. You don't want people to talk of you as something vile and degraded. Of course you have your position, and your wealth, and all that kind of thing. But position and wealth are not everything. Mind you, I don't believe these rumors at all. At least, I can't believe them when I see you. Sin is a thing that writes itself across a man's face. It cannot be concealed. People talk of secret vices. There are no such things as secret vices. If a wretched man has a vice, it shows itself in the lines of his mouth, the droop of his eyelids, the moulding of his hands even. Somebody--I won't mention his name, but you know him--came to me last year to have his portrait done. I had never seen him before, and had never heard anything about him at the time, though I have heard a good deal since. He offered an extravagant price. I refused him. There was something in the shape of his fingers that I hated. I know now that I was quite right in what I fancied about him. His life is dreadful. But you, Dorian, with your pure, bright, innocent face, and your marvellous untroubled youth,--I can't believe anything against you. And yet I see you very seldom, and you never come down to the studio now, and when I am away from you, and I hear all these hideous things that people are whispering about you, I don't know what to say. Why is it, Dorian, that a man like the Duke of Berwick leaves the room of a club when you enter it? Why is it that so many gentlemen in London will neither go to your house nor invite you to theirs? You used to be a friend of Lord Cawdor. I met him at dinner last week. Your name happened to come up in conversation, in connection with the miniatures you have lent to the exhibition at the Dudley. Cawdor curled his lip, and said that you might have the most artistic tastes, but that you were a man whom no pure-minded girl should be allowed to know, and whom no chaste woman should sit in the same room with. I reminded him that I was a friend of yours, and asked him what he meant. He told me. He told me right out before everybody. It was horrible! Why is your friendship so fateful to young men? There was that wretched boy in the Guards who committed suicide. You were his great friend. There was Sir Henry Ashton, who had to leave England, with a tarnished name. You and he were inseparable. What about Adrian Singleton, and his dreadful end? What about Lord Kent's only son, and his career? I met his father yesterday in St. James Street. He seemed broken with shame and sorrow. What about the young Duke of Perth? What sort of life has he got now? What gentleman would associate with him? Dorian, Dorian, your reputation is infamous. I know you and Harry are great friends. I say nothing about that now, but [80] surely you need not have made his sister's name a by-word. When you met Lady Gwendolen, not a breath of scandal had ever touched her. Is there a single decent woman in London now who would drive with her in the Park? Why, even her children are not allowed to live with her. Then there are other stories,--stories that you have been seen creeping at dawn out of dreadful houses and slinking in disguise into the foulest dens in London. Are they true? Can they be true? When I first heard them, I laughed. I hear them now, and they make me shudder. What about your country-house, and the life that is led there? Dorian, you don't know what is said about you. I won't tell you that I don't want to preach to you. I remember Harry saying once that every man who turned himself into an amateur curate for the moment always said that, and then broke his word. I do want to preach to you. I want you to lead such a life as will make the world respect you. I want you to have a clean name and a fair record. I want you to get rid of the dreadful people you associate with. Don't shrug your shoulders like that. Don't be so indifferent. You have a wonderful influence. Let it be for good, not for evil. They say that you corrupt every one whom you become intimate with, and that it is quite sufficient for you to enter a house, for shame of some kind to follow after you. I don't know whether it is so or not. How should I know? But it is said of you. I am told things that it seems impossible to doubt. Lord Gloucester was one of my greatest friends at Oxford. He showed me a letter that his wife had written to him when she was dying alone in her villa at Mentone. Your name was implicated in the most terrible confession I ever read. I told him that it was absurd,--that I knew you thoroughly, and that you were incapable of anything of the kind. Know you? I wonder do I know you? Before I could answer that, I should have to see your soul."

"They must concern you, Dorian. Every gentleman is concerned about his reputation. You don’t want people talking about you like you’re something vile and degraded. Of course, you have your status, your wealth, and all that. But status and wealth aren’t everything. Just so you know, I don’t believe these rumors at all. At least, I can’t believe them when I see you. Sin is something that marks a man's face; it can’t be hidden. People speak of secret vices. There’s no such thing as a secret vice. If a miserable man has a vice, it shows in the lines of his mouth, the droop of his eyelids, even in the shape of his hands. Someone—I won’t name him, but you know who I’m talking about—came to me last year to get his portrait done. I had never seen him before, and I hadn’t heard anything about him at the time, although I’ve heard a lot since. He offered an outrageous price. I turned him down. There was something about the shape of his fingers that I couldn’t stand. I realize now that I was right in what I sensed about him. His life is awful. But you, Dorian, with your pure, bright, innocent face, and your amazing untroubled youth—I can’t believe anything bad about you. And yet I see you so rarely, and you never come to the studio anymore, and when I’m away from you and hear all these awful things people are whispering about you, I don’t know what to think. Why is it, Dorian, that a man like the Duke of Berwick leaves the room when you walk in? Why do so many gentlemen in London refuse to go to your house or invite you to theirs? You used to be friends with Lord Cawdor. I had dinner with him last week. Your name came up in conversation when we talked about the miniatures you lent for the exhibition at the Dudley. Cawdor curled his lip and said you might have great artistic tastes, but you were a man no respectable girl should know, and no virtuous woman should share a room with. I reminded him that I was your friend and asked what he meant. He told me. He told me right there in front of everyone. It was horrifying! Why is your friendship so dangerous for young men? There was that poor boy in the Guards who committed suicide. You were his close friend. Then there was Sir Henry Ashton, who had to leave England with a tarnished reputation. You and he were inseparable. What about Adrian Singleton and his tragic end? What about Lord Kent’s only son and his career? I saw his father yesterday on St. James Street. He looked utterly broken with shame and sorrow. What about the young Duke of Perth? What kind of life is he living now? What gentleman would associate with him? Dorian, Dorian, your reputation is notorious. I know you and Harry are close friends. I won’t say anything more about that right now, but surely you didn’t need to make his sister’s name a joke. When you met Lady Gwendolen, not a single whisper of scandal had ever touched her. Is there a decent woman in London now who would ride with her in the Park? Why, even her children aren’t allowed to stay with her. Then there are other stories—stories that you’ve been seen sneaking out of terrible places at dawn and disguising yourself to enter the most disgusting dens in London. Are they true? Could they possibly be true? When I first heard them, I laughed. I hear them now, and they send chills down my spine. What about your country house and the life you lead there? Dorian, you don’t know what people are saying about you. I won’t claim that I don’t want to lecture you. I remember Harry saying once that every man who pretends to be a moralist always claims that and then breaks his word. I do want to lecture you. I want you to live a life that earns the world’s respect. I want you to have a clean reputation and a good record. I want you to distance yourself from the awful people you hang out with. Don’t shrug your shoulders like that. Don’t be so indifferent. You have a wonderful influence. Let it be for good, not for evil. They say you corrupt everyone you get close to and that it’s enough for you to enter a house for some kind of shame to follow. I don’t know if that’s true or not. How would I know? But that’s what people say about you. I hear things that seem impossible to doubt. Lord Gloucester was one of my closest friends at Oxford. He showed me a letter his wife wrote to him when she was dying alone in her villa at Mentone. Your name was mentioned in the most terrible confession I’ve ever read. I told him it was ridiculous—that I knew you well and you were incapable of such things. Do I really know you? Before I can answer that, I would need to see your soul."

"To see my soul!" muttered Dorian Gray, starting up from the sofa and turning almost white from fear.

"To see my soul!" Dorian Gray whispered, jumping up from the sofa and turning nearly white with fear.

"Yes," answered Hallward, gravely, and with infinite sorrow in his voice,--"to see your soul. But only God can do that."

"Yes," Hallward replied seriously, with deep sadness in his voice, "it's to see your soul. But only God can do that."

A bitter laugh of mockery broke from the lips of the younger man. "You shall see it yourself, to-night!" he cried, seizing a lamp from the table. "Come: it is your own handiwork. Why shouldn't you look at it? You can tell the world all about it afterwards, if you choose. Nobody would believe you. If they did believe you, they'd like me all the better for it. I know the age better than you do, though you will prate about it so tediously. Come, I tell you. You have chattered enough about corruption. Now you shall look on it face to face."

A bitter, mocking laugh escaped from the younger man's lips. "You'll see it for yourself tonight!" he exclaimed, grabbing a lamp from the table. "Come on: it’s your own creation. Why shouldn’t you look at it? You can tell everyone about it later if you want. Nobody would believe you. And even if they did, they’d actually like me more for it. I know this era better than you do, even if you keep talking about it so endlessly. Come on, I’m serious. You've complained enough about corruption. Now you’re going to see it up close."

There was the madness of pride in every word he uttered. He stamped his foot upon the ground in his boyish insolent manner. He felt a terrible joy at the thought that some one else was to share his secret, and that the man who had painted the portrait that was the origin of all his shame was to be burdened for the rest of his life with the hideous memory of what he had done.

There was a crazy pride in everything he said. He stomped his foot on the ground in his childish, defiant way. He felt a chilling thrill at the idea that someone else would share his secret, and that the man who painted the portrait that caused all his shame would be stuck with the ugly memory of what he had done for the rest of his life.

"Yes," he continued, coming closer to him, and looking steadfastly into his stern eyes, "I will show you my soul. You shall see the thing that you fancy only God can see."

"Yes," he said, stepping closer and looking intently into his serious eyes, "I'll show you my soul. You'll see what you think only God can see."

[81] Hallward started back. "This is blasphemy, Dorian!" he cried. "You must not say things like that. They are horrible, and they don't mean anything."

[81] Hallward recoiled. "This is unacceptable, Dorian!" he exclaimed. "You can't say things like that. They're awful, and they don't mean anything."

"You think so?" He laughed again.

"You really think so?" He laughed again.

"I know so. As for what I said to you to-night, I said it for your good. You know I have been always devoted to you."

"I know that's true. As for what I told you tonight, I said it for your benefit. You know I've always been dedicated to you."

"Don't touch me. Finish what you have to say."

"Don't touch me. Just say what you need to say."

A twisted flash of pain shot across Hallward's face. He paused for a moment, and a wild feeling of pity came over him. After all, what right had he to pry into the life of Dorian Gray? If he had done a tithe of what was rumored about him, how much he must have suffered! Then he straightened himself up, and walked over to the fireplace, and stood there, looking at the burning logs with their frost-like ashes and their throbbing cores of flame.

A sharp flash of pain crossed Hallward's face. He paused for a second, and a sudden surge of pity washed over him. After all, what right did he have to invade Dorian Gray's life? If even a fraction of what was said about him were true, he must have endured so much! Then he straightened up, walked over to the fireplace, and stood there, staring at the burning logs with their frost-like ashes and their pulsing flames.

"I am waiting, Basil," said the young man, in a hard, clear voice.

"I’m waiting, Basil," said the young man, in a strong, clear voice.

He turned round. "What I have to say is this," he cried. "You must give me some answer to these horrible charges that are made against you. If you tell me that they are absolutely untrue from beginning to end, I will believe you. Deny them, Dorian, deny them! Can't you see what I am going through? My God! don't tell me that you are infamous!"

He turned around. "What I need to say is this," he yelled. "You have to respond to these awful accusations against you. If you tell me that they’re completely false from start to finish, I’ll believe you. Deny them, Dorian, deny them! Can't you see what I’m dealing with? My God! Don’t tell me that you’re scandalous!"

Dorian Gray smiled. There was a curl of contempt in his lips. "Come up-stairs, Basil," he said, quietly. "I keep a diary of my life from day to day, and it never leaves the room in which it is written. I will show it to you if you come with me."

Dorian Gray smiled. There was a hint of disdain in his lips. "Come upstairs, Basil," he said softly. "I keep a diary of my life every day, and it never leaves the room where I write it. I'll show it to you if you come with me."

"I will come with you, Dorian, if you wish it. I see I have missed my train. That makes no matter. I can go to-morrow. But don't ask me to read anything to-night. All I want is a plain answer to my question."

"I'll go with you, Dorian, if that's what you want. I see I missed my train. That's no big deal. I can go tomorrow. But please, don't ask me to read anything tonight. All I want is a straightforward answer to my question."

"That will be given to you up-stairs. I could not give it here. You won't have to read long. Don't keep me waiting."

"That will be given to you upstairs. I can't give it here. You won't have to read for long. Don't keep me waiting."




CHAPTER XI

[...81] He passed out of the room, and began the ascent, Basil Hallward following close behind. They walked softly, as men instinctively do at night. The lamp cast fantastic shadows on the wall and staircase. A rising wind made some of the windows rattle.

[...81] He left the room and started to climb, with Basil Hallward close behind. They walked quietly, as people naturally do at night. The lamp created eerie shadows on the wall and staircase. A gusting wind caused some of the windows to rattle.

When they reached the top landing, Dorian set the lamp down on the floor, and taking out the key turned it in the lock. "You insist on knowing, Basil?" he asked, in a low voice.

When they got to the top landing, Dorian placed the lamp on the floor and, taking out the key, turned it in the lock. "You really want to know, Basil?" he asked softly.

"Yes."

"Yep."

"I am delighted," he murmured, smiling. Then he added, somewhat bitterly, "You are the one man in the world who is entitled to know everything about me. You have had more to do with my life than you think." And, taking up the lamp, he opened the door and went in. A cold current of air passed them, and the light shot up for a moment in a flame of murky orange. He shuddered. "Shut the door behind you," he said, as he placed the lamp on the table.

"I'm so glad," he whispered with a smile. Then he added, a bit bitterly, "You’re the only person in the world who has the right to know everything about me. You've influenced my life more than you realize." Picking up the lamp, he opened the door and stepped inside. A chill breeze swept past them, and the light flickered brightly for a moment in a dull orange flame. He flinched. "Close the door behind you," he said as he set the lamp down on the table.

[82] Hallward glanced round him, with a puzzled expression. The room looked as if it had not been lived in for years. A faded Flemish tapestry, a curtained picture, an old Italian cassone, and an almost empty bookcase,--that was all that it seemed to contain, besides a chair and a table. As Dorian Gray was lighting a half-burned candle that was standing on the mantel-shelf, he saw that the whole place was covered with dust, and that the carpet was in holes. A mouse ran scuffling behind the wainscoting. There was a damp odor of mildew.

[82] Hallward looked around, confused. The room seemed like no one had lived there in years. A faded Flemish tapestry, a curtain-covered painting, an old Italian chest, and an almost empty bookshelf—that was all it appeared to have, besides a chair and a table. As Dorian Gray lit a half-burned candle on the mantel, he noticed that the entire place was covered in dust, and the carpet had holes in it. A mouse scurried behind the paneling. There was a musty smell of mildew.

"So you think that it is only God who sees the soul, Basil? Draw that curtain back, and you will see mine."

"So you think only God can see the soul, Basil? Pull back that curtain, and you'll see mine."

The voice that spoke was cold and cruel. "You are mad, Dorian, or playing a part," muttered Hallward, frowning.

The voice that spoke was harsh and unfeeling. "You're crazy, Dorian, or just pretending," Hallward muttered, frowning.

"You won't? Then I must do it myself," said the young man; and he tore the curtain from its rod, and flung it on the ground.

"You won't? Then I guess I have to do it myself," said the young man; and he ripped the curtain from its rod and threw it on the ground.

An exclamation of horror broke from Hallward's lips as he saw in the dim light the hideous thing on the canvas leering at him. There was something in its expression that filled him with disgust and loathing. Good heavens! it was Dorian Gray's own face that he was looking at! The horror, whatever it was, had not yet entirely marred that marvellous beauty. There was still some gold in the thinning hair and some scarlet on the sensual lips. The sodden eyes had kept something of the loveliness of their blue, the noble curves had not yet passed entirely away from chiselled nostrils and from plastic throat. Yes, it was Dorian himself. But who had done it? He seemed to recognize his own brush-work, and the frame was his own design. The idea was monstrous, yet he felt afraid. He seized the lighted candle, and held it to the picture. In the left-hand corner was his own name, traced in long letters of bright vermilion.

A scream of shock escaped Hallward's lips as he saw, in the dim light, the grotesque image on the canvas grinning back at him. There was something in its expression that filled him with disgust and hatred. Good heavens! It was Dorian Gray's own face staring back at him! The horror, whatever it was, hadn’t completely ruined that amazing beauty yet. There was still some golden hair left and a hint of red on the sensual lips. The drooping eyes retained a bit of their lovely blue, and the noble lines of the well-defined nose and smooth neck had not entirely disappeared. Yes, it was Dorian himself. But who painted it? He thought he recognized his own brushwork, and the frame was of his own design. The thought was monstrous, yet he felt a sense of fear. He grabbed the lit candle and held it up to the picture. In the bottom left corner was his own name, written in long letters of bright vermilion.

It was some foul parody, some infamous, ignoble satire. He had never done that. Still, it was his own picture. He knew it, and he felt as if his blood had changed from fire to sluggish ice in a moment. His own picture! What did it mean? Why had it altered? He turned, and looked at Dorian Gray with the eyes of a sick man. His mouth twitched, and his parched tongue seemed unable to articulate. He passed his hand across his forehead. It was dank with clammy sweat.

It was a terrible joke, a shameful, dishonorable mockery. He had never done that. Yet, it was his own image. He realized it, and he felt as if his blood had switched from fire to slow, cold ice in an instant. His own image! What did it mean? Why had it changed? He turned and looked at Dorian Gray with the gaze of someone unwell. His mouth twitched, and his dry tongue seemed unable to form words. He wiped his hand across his forehead. It was damp with clammy sweat.

The young man was leaning against the mantel-shelf, watching him with that strange expression that is on the faces of those who are absorbed in a play when a great artist is acting. There was neither real sorrow in it nor real joy. There was simply the passion of the spectator, with perhaps a flicker of triumph in the eyes. He had taken the flower out of his coat, and was smelling it, or pretending to do so.

The young man was leaning against the mantel, watching him with that unusual look seen on the faces of people engrossed in a performance when a great artist is on stage. There was no genuine sadness or true happiness in it. It was just the intensity of a viewer, with maybe a hint of triumph in his eyes. He had taken the flower out of his jacket and was either smelling it or pretending to.

"What does this mean?" cried Hallward, at last. His own voice sounded shrill and curious in his ears.

"What does this mean?" Hallward suddenly exclaimed. His own voice sounded sharp and inquisitive in his ears.

"Years ago, when I was a boy," said Dorian Gray, "you met me, devoted yourself to me, flattered me, and taught me to be vain of my good looks. One day you introduced me to a friend of yours, who explained to me the wonder of youth, and you finished a portrait of me that revealed to me the wonder of beauty. In a mad moment, that [83] I don't know, even now, whether I regret or not, I made a wish. Perhaps you would call it a prayer . . . ."

"Years ago, when I was a kid," Dorian Gray said, "you met me, dedicated yourself to me, complimented me, and taught me to take pride in my looks. One day, you introduced me to a friend of yours, who explained the magic of youth to me, and you finished a portrait of me that showed me the beauty of beauty. In a crazy moment, I made a wish. Maybe you would call it a prayer . . . ."

"I remember it! Oh, how well I remember it! No! the thing is impossible. The room is damp. The mildew has got into the canvas. The paints I used had some wretched mineral poison in them. I tell you the thing is impossible."

"I remember it! Oh, how clearly I remember it! No! That’s impossible. The room is musty. The mold has seeped into the canvas. The paints I used had some awful mineral poison in them. I'm telling you, it’s impossible."

"Ah, what is impossible?" murmured the young man, going over to the window, and leaning his forehead against the cold, mist-stained glass.

"Ah, what is impossible?" the young man whispered as he walked over to the window and pressed his forehead against the cold, foggy glass.

"You told me you had destroyed it."

"You told me you got rid of it."

"I was wrong. It has destroyed me."

"I was wrong. It has completely ruined me."

"I don't believe it is my picture."

"I don't think it's my picture."

"Can't you see your romance in it?" said Dorian, bitterly.

"Can't you see your love story in it?" Dorian said, bitterly.

"My romance, as you call it . . ."

"My relationship, as you say..."

"As you called it."

"As you referred to it."

"There was nothing evil in it, nothing shameful. This is the face of a satyr."

"There was nothing wrong with it, nothing to be ashamed of. This is the face of a satyr."

"It is the face of my soul."

"It’s the face of my soul."

"God! what a thing I must have worshipped! This has the eyes of a devil."

"Wow! What a thing I must have admired! This has the eyes of a devil."

"Each of us has Heaven and Hell in him, Basil," cried Dorian, with a wild gesture of despair.

"Each of us has Heaven and Hell inside us, Basil," Dorian exclaimed, with a desperate, wild gesture.

Hallward turned again to the portrait, and gazed at it. "My God! if it is true," he exclaimed, "and this is what you have done with your life, why, you must be worse even than those who talk against you fancy you to be!" He held the light up again to the canvas, and examined it. The surface seemed to be quite undisturbed, and as he had left it. It was from within, apparently, that the foulness and horror had come. Through some strange quickening of inner life the leprosies of sin were slowly eating the thing away. The rotting of a corpse in a watery grave was not so fearful.

Hallward turned back to the portrait and stared at it. "My God! If this is true," he exclaimed, "and this is how you've lived your life, then you must be even worse than those who criticize what they think you are!" He lifted the light again to the canvas and examined it closely. The surface looked completely untouched, just as he had left it. The corruption and horror seemed to be coming from within. Through some strange awakening of inner life, the decay of sin was slowly consuming the piece. The decay of a corpse in a watery grave wasn’t as terrifying.

His hand shook, and the candle fell from its socket on the floor, and lay there sputtering. He placed his foot on it and put it out. Then he flung himself into the rickety chair that was standing by the table and buried his face in his hands.

His hand trembled, and the candle dropped from its holder onto the floor, where it flickered and sputtered. He stepped on it and snuffed it out. Then he threw himself into the shaky chair beside the table and covered his face with his hands.

"Good God, Dorian, what a lesson! what an awful lesson!" There was no answer, but he could hear the young man sobbing at the window.

"Good God, Dorian, what a lesson! What an awful lesson!" There was no answer, but he could hear the young man crying at the window.

"Pray, Dorian, pray," he murmured. "What is it that one was taught to say in one's boyhood? 'Lead us not into temptation. Forgive us our sins. Wash away our iniquities.' Let us say that together. The prayer of your pride has been answered. The prayer of your repentance will be answered also. I worshipped you too much. I am punished for it. You worshipped yourself too much. We are both punished."

"Please, Dorian, pray," he whispered. "What were we taught to say in our childhood? 'Lead us not into temptation. Forgive us our sins. Wash away our wrongdoings.' Let's say that together. The prayer of your pride has been answered. The prayer of your repentance will be answered too. I idolized you too much. I'm being punished for it. You idolized yourself too much. We are both being punished."

Dorian Gray turned slowly around, and looked at him with tear-dimmed eyes. "It is too late, Basil," he murmured.

Dorian Gray slowly turned around and looked at him with tear-filled eyes. "It's too late, Basil," he whispered.

"It is never too late, Dorian. Let us kneel down and try if we can remember a prayer. Isn't there a verse somewhere, 'Though your sins be as scarlet, yet I will make them as white as snow'?"

"It’s never too late, Dorian. Let’s kneel down and see if we can remember a prayer. Isn’t there a line somewhere that says, 'Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow'?"

[84] "Those words mean nothing to me now."

"Those words don't mean anything to me now."

"Hush! don't say that. You have done enough evil in your life. My God! don't you see that accursed thing leering at us?"

"Hush! Don’t say that. You’ve done enough wrong in your life. My God! Can’t you see that cursed thing staring at us?"

Dorian Gray glanced at the picture, and suddenly an uncontrollable feeling of hatred for Basil Hallward came over him. The mad passions of a hunted animal stirred within him, and he loathed the man who was seated at the table, more than he had ever loathed anything in his whole life. He glanced wildly around. Something glimmered on the top of the painted chest that faced him. His eye fell on it. He knew what it was. It was a knife that he had brought up, some days before, to cut a piece of cord, and had forgotten to take away with him. He moved slowly towards it, passing Hallward as he did so. As soon as he got behind him, he seized it, and turned round. Hallward moved in his chair as if he was going to rise. He rushed at him, and dug the knife into the great vein that is behind the ear, crushing the man's head down on the table, and stabbing again and again.

Dorian Gray looked at the painting, and suddenly an uncontrollable feeling of hatred for Basil Hallward washed over him. The wild instincts of a cornered animal stirred inside him, and he hated the man sitting at the table more than he had ever hated anything in his life. He glanced around wildly. Something glimmered on top of the painted chest facing him. His eyes landed on it. He knew exactly what it was. It was a knife he had brought up a few days earlier to cut a piece of cord and had forgotten to take with him. He moved slowly toward it, passing Hallward as he did. Once he was behind him, he grabbed it and turned around. Hallward shifted in his chair as if he was going to get up. Dorian lunged at him and plunged the knife into the large vein behind his ear, forcing the man’s head down onto the table and stabbing again and again.

There was a stifled groan, and the horrible sound of some one choking with blood. The outstretched arms shot up convulsively three times, waving grotesque stiff-fingered hands in the air. He stabbed him once more, but the man did not move. Something began to trickle on the floor. He waited for a moment, still pressing the head down. Then he threw the knife on the table, and listened.

There was a muffled groan, followed by the terrible sound of someone choking on blood. The outstretched arms shot up spasmodically three times, waving their stiff, awkward fingers in the air. He stabbed him once more, but the man didn’t move. Something started to drip onto the floor. He paused for a moment, still pressing the head down. Then he tossed the knife onto the table and listened.

He could hear nothing, but the drip, drip on the threadbare carpet. He opened the door, and went out on the landing. The house was quite quiet. No one was stirring.

He could hear nothing except the drip, drip on the worn-out carpet. He opened the door and stepped out onto the landing. The house was very quiet. No one was moving.

He took out the key, and returned to the room, locking himself in as he did so.

He took out the key and went back into the room, locking himself in as he did.

The thing was still seated in the chair, straining over the table with bowed head, and humped back, and long fantastic arms. Had it not been for the red jagged tear in the neck, and the clotted black pool that slowly widened on the table, one would have said that the man was simply asleep.

The figure was still slumped in the chair, leaning over the table with its head down, hunched back, and long, strange arms. If it weren’t for the jagged red tear in its neck and the growing dark pool of blood on the table, one might have thought the person was just asleep.

How quickly it had all been done! He felt strangely calm, and, walking over to the window, opened it, and stepped out on the balcony. The wind had blown the fog away, and the sky was like a monstrous peacock's tail, starred with myriads of golden eyes. He looked down, and saw the policeman going his rounds and flashing a bull's-eye lantern on the doors of the silent houses. The crimson spot of a prowling hansom gleamed at the corner, and then vanished. A woman in a ragged shawl was creeping round by the railings, staggering as she went. Now and then she stopped, and peered back. Once, she began to sing in a hoarse voice. The policeman strolled over and said something to her. She stumbled away, laughing. A bitter blast swept across the Square. The gas-lamps flickered, and became blue, and the leafless trees shook their black iron branches as if in pain. He shivered, and went back, closing the window behind him.

How quickly it had all happened! He felt oddly calm and walked over to the window, opened it, and stepped out onto the balcony. The wind had cleared the fog, and the sky looked like a giant peacock's tail, dotted with countless golden stars. He looked down and saw the policeman doing his rounds, shining a bull's-eye lantern on the doors of the quiet houses. The red light of a passing cab flickered at the corner and then disappeared. A woman in a tattered shawl was shuffling by the railings, stumbling as she moved. Every now and then, she stopped and glanced back. Once, she started singing in a rough voice. The policeman wandered over and said something to her. She stumbled away, laughing. A cold wind swept across the Square. The gas lamps flickered and turned blue, and the bare trees shivered their dark branches as if in pain. He shivered too and went back inside, closing the window behind him.

He passed to the door, turned the key, and opened it. He did not even glance at the murdered man. He felt that the secret of the whole thing was not to realize the situation. The friend who had painted [85] the fatal portrait, the portrait to which all his misery had been due, had gone out of his life. That was enough.

He walked to the door, turned the key, and opened it. He didn't even look at the murdered man. He understood that the key to it all was not to acknowledge the situation. The friend who had created the fatal portrait, the one that had caused all his suffering, was out of his life. That was enough.

Then he remembered the lamp. It was a rather curious one of Moorish workmanship, made of dull silver inlaid with arabesques of burnished steel. Perhaps it might be missed by his servant, and questions would be asked. He turned back, and took it from the table. How still the man was! How horribly white the long hands looked! He was like a dreadful wax image.

Then he remembered the lamp. It was a pretty unusual piece of Moorish craftsmanship, made of dull silver inlaid with shining steel designs. Maybe his servant would notice it missing, and questions would come up. He turned back and grabbed it from the table. How still the man was! How shockingly pale his long hands looked! He resembled a creepy wax figure.

He locked the door behind him, and crept quietly down-stairs. The wood-work creaked, and seemed to cry out as if in pain. He stopped several times, and waited. No: everything was still. It was merely the sound of his own footsteps.

He locked the door behind him and quietly made his way down the stairs. The wooden steps creaked, almost as if they were crying out in pain. He paused several times, listening. Nope, everything was quiet. It was just the sound of his own footsteps.

When he reached the library, he saw the bag and coat in the corner. They must be hidden away somewhere. He unlocked a secret press that was in the wainscoting, and put them into it. He could easily burn them afterwards. Then he pulled out his watch. It was twenty minutes to two.

When he got to the library, he spotted the bag and coat in the corner. They must be tucked away somewhere. He unlocked a hidden compartment in the wall paneling and put them inside. He could easily destroy them later. Then he checked his watch. It was twenty minutes to two.

He sat down, and began to think. Every year--every month, almost--men were strangled in England for what he had done. There had been a madness of murder in the air. Some red star had come too close to the earth.

He sat down and started to think. Every year—almost every month—men were hanged in England for what he had done. There had been a madness of murder in the air. Some red star had come too close to the earth.

Evidence? What evidence was there against him? Basil Hallward had left the house at eleven. No one had seen him come in again. Most of the servants were at Selby Royal. His valet had gone to bed.

Evidence? What evidence was there against him? Basil Hallward had left the house at eleven. No one had seen him come back in. Most of the servants were at Selby Royal. His valet had gone to bed.

Paris! Yes. It was to Paris that Basil had gone, by the midnight train, as he had intended. With his curious reserved habits, it would be months before any suspicions would be aroused. Months? Everything could be destroyed long before then.

Paris! Yes. It was to Paris that Basil had gone, by the midnight train, just as he had planned. With his odd, reserved nature, it would take months before anyone would start to suspect anything. Months? Everything could be ruined long before that.

A sudden thought struck him. He put on his fur coat and hat, and went out into the hall. There he paused, hearing the slow heavy tread of the policeman outside on the pavement, and seeing the flash of the lantern reflected in the window. He waited, holding his breath.

A sudden thought hit him. He put on his fur coat and hat and stepped into the hallway. There, he stopped, listening to the slow, heavy footsteps of the policeman outside on the pavement and seeing the lantern’s light reflected in the window. He waited, holding his breath.

After a few moments he opened the front door, and slipped out, shutting it very gently behind him. Then he began ringing the bell. In about ten minutes his valet appeared, half dressed, and looking very drowsy.

After a few moments, he opened the front door and quietly stepped outside, closing it softly behind him. Then he started ringing the bell. About ten minutes later, his valet showed up, half-dressed and looking quite groggy.

"I am sorry to have had to wake you up, Francis," he said, stepping in; "but I had forgotten my latch-key. What time is it?"

"I'm sorry to have to wake you up, Francis," he said as he entered; "but I forgot my key. What time is it?"

"Five minutes past two, sir," answered the man, looking at the clock and yawning.

"Five minutes after two, sir," the man replied, glancing at the clock and yawning.

"Five minutes past two? How horribly late! You must wake me at nine to-morrow. I have some work to do."

"Five minutes past two? How late! You need to wake me at nine tomorrow. I have some work to finish."

"All right, sir."

"Okay, sir."

"Did any one call this evening?"

"Did anyone call tonight?"

"Mr. Hallward, sir. He stayed here till eleven, and then he went away to catch his train."

"Mr. Hallward, sir. He stayed here until eleven and then left to catch his train."

"Oh! I am sorry I didn't see him. Did he leave any message?"

"Oh! I'm sorry I didn't see him. Did he leave a message?"

"No, sir, except that he would write to you."

"No, sir, except that he would send you a letter."

[86] "That will do, Francis. Don't forget to call me at nine tomorrow."

[86] "That’s enough, Francis. Don’t forget to call me at nine tomorrow."

"No, sir."

"No, thanks."

The man shambled down the passage in his slippers.

The man shuffled down the hallway in his slippers.

Dorian Gray threw his hat and coat upon the yellow marble table, and passed into the library. He walked up and down the room for a quarter of an hour, biting his lip, and thinking. Then he took the Blue Book down from one of the shelves, and began to turn over the leaves. "Alan Campbell, 152, Hertford Street, Mayfair." Yes; that was the man he wanted.

Dorian Gray tossed his hat and coat onto the yellow marble table and walked into the library. He paced the room for about fifteen minutes, biting his lip and deep in thought. Then he took the Blue Book off one of the shelves and started flipping through the pages. "Alan Campbell, 152, Hertford Street, Mayfair." Yes; that was the person he was looking for.




CHAPTER XII

[...86] At nine o'clock the next morning his servant came in with a cup of chocolate on a tray, and opened the shutters. Dorian was sleeping quite peacefully, lying on his right side, with one hand underneath his cheek. He looked like a boy who had been tired out with play, or study.

[...86] At nine o'clock the next morning, his servant came in with a cup of hot chocolate on a tray and opened the shutters. Dorian was sleeping peacefully, lying on his right side, with one hand under his cheek. He looked like a boy who had worn himself out from playing or studying.

The man had to touch him twice on the shoulder before he woke, and as he opened his eyes a faint smile passed across his lips, as though he had been having some delightful dream. Yet he had not dreamed at all. His night had been untroubled by any images of pleasure or of pain. But youth smiles without any reason. It is one of its chiefest charms.

The man had to tap him on the shoulder twice before he finally woke up, and as he opened his eyes, a faint smile spread across his lips, like he had been having a lovely dream. But he hadn’t dreamed at all. His night was free of any pleasant or painful thoughts. Yet youth smiles for no particular reason. It’s one of its greatest charms.

He turned round, and, leaning on his elbow, began to drink his chocolate. The mellow November sun was streaming into the room. The sky was bright blue, and there was a genial warmth in the air. It was almost like a morning in May.

He turned around and, leaning on his elbow, started to drink his chocolate. The warm November sun was shining into the room. The sky was a bright blue, and there was a pleasant warmth in the air. It felt almost like a morning in May.

Gradually the events of the preceding night crept with silent blood-stained feet into his brain, and reconstructed themselves there with terrible distinctness. He winced at the memory of all that he had suffered, and for a moment the same curious feeling of loathing for Basil Hallward, that had made him kill him as he sat in the chair, came back to him, and he grew cold with passion. The dead man was still sitting there, too, and in the sunlight now. How horrible that was! Such hideous things were for the darkness, not for the day.

Gradually, the events of the previous night crept into his mind like silent, blood-stained footsteps, reconstructing themselves with a horrifying clarity. He winced at the memory of everything he had endured, and for a moment, the same sickening feeling of hatred for Basil Hallward, which had driven him to kill him in that chair, flooded back, leaving him cold with rage. The dead man was still sitting there, too, now in the sunlight. How terrible that was! Such awful things belonged in the darkness, not in the light of day.

He felt that if he brooded on what he had gone through he would sicken or grow mad. There were sins whose fascination was more in the memory than in the doing of them, strange triumphs that gratified the pride more than the passions, and gave to the intellect a quickened sense of joy, greater than any joy they brought, or could ever bring, to the senses. But this was not one of them. It was a thing to be driven out of the mind, to be drugged with poppies, to be strangled lest it might strangle one itself.

He felt that if he dwelled on what he had been through, he would either get sick or lose his mind. There were sins that were more appealing in memory than in actually committing them, strange victories that fed the pride more than the passions, and gave the intellect a heightened sense of joy, greater than any joy they could bring to the senses. But this wasn’t one of those. It was something to be pushed out of his mind, to be numbed with distractions, to be choked back lest it choke him instead.

He passed his hand across his forehead, and then got up hastily, and dressed himself with even more than his usual attention, giving a good deal of care to the selection of his necktie and scarf-pin, and changing his rings more than once.

He ran his hand over his forehead, then quickly got up and dressed with more care than usual, paying close attention to choosing his necktie and scarf pin, and switching his rings a few times.

He spent a long time over breakfast, tasting the various dishes, talking to his valet about some new liveries that he was thinking of [87] getting made for the servants at Selby, and going through his correspondence. Over some of the letters he smiled. Three of them bored him. One he read several times over, and then tore up with a slight look of annoyance in his face. "That awful thing, a woman's memory!" as Lord Henry had once said.

He took a long time with breakfast, sampling the different dishes, chatting with his valet about some new uniforms he was considering getting made for the staff at Selby, and going through his mail. He smiled at some of the letters. Three of them bored him. One he read several times and then tore up, looking slightly annoyed. "That terrible thing, a woman's memory!" as Lord Henry once said.

When he had drunk his coffee, he sat down at the table, and wrote two letters. One he put in his pocket, the other he handed to the valet.

When he finished his coffee, he sat down at the table and wrote two letters. He put one in his pocket and handed the other to the valet.

"Take this round to 152, Hertford Street, Francis, and if Mr. Campbell is out of town, get his address."

"Take this round to 152 Hertford Street, Francis, and if Mr. Campbell isn't in town, get his address."

As soon as he was alone, he lit a cigarette, and began sketching upon a piece of paper, drawing flowers, and bits of architecture, first, and then faces. Suddenly he remarked that every face that he drew seemed to have an extraordinary likeness to Basil Hallward. He frowned, and, getting up, went over to the bookcase and took out a volume at hazard. He was determined that he would not think about what had happened, till it became absolutely necessary to do so.

As soon as he was alone, he lit a cigarette and started sketching on a piece of paper, first drawing flowers and bits of architecture, then faces. Suddenly, he noticed that every face he drew resembled Basil Hallward in an uncanny way. He frowned, got up, and walked over to the bookcase, casually grabbing a book. He was determined not to think about what had happened until it was absolutely necessary.

When he had stretched himself on the sofa, he looked at the title-page of the book. It was Gautier's "Emaux et Camées," Charpentier's Japanese-paper edition, with the Jacquemart etching. The binding was of citron-green leather with a design of gilt trellis-work and dotted pomegranates. It had been given to him by Adrian Singleton. As he turned over the pages his eye fell on the poem about the hand of Lacenaire, the cold yellow hand "du supplice encore mal lavée," with its downy red hairs and its "doigts de faune." He glanced at his own white taper fingers, and passed on, till he came to those lovely verses upon Venice:

When he lay back on the sofa, he looked at the title page of the book. It was Gautier's "Emaux et Camées," Charpentier's Japanese-paper edition, featuring the Jacquemart etching. The cover was made of citron-green leather with a design of gilt trellis work and dotted pomegranates. Adrian Singleton had given it to him. As he flipped through the pages, his eye caught a poem about the hand of Lacenaire, the cold yellow hand "du supplice encore mal lavée," with its fine red hairs and its "doigts de faune." He glanced at his own white, slender fingers and moved on, until he found those beautiful verses about Venice:

Sur une gamme chromatique,
    Le sein de perles ruisselant,
La Vénus de l'Adriatique
    Sort de l'eau son corps rose et blanc.

Sur une gamme chromatique,
    Le sein de perles ruisselant,
La Vénus de l'Adriatique
    Sort de l'eau son corps rose et blanc.

Les dômes, sur l'azur des ondes
    Suivant la phrase au pur contour,
S'enflent comme des gorges rondes
    Que soulève un soupir d'amour.

Les dômes, sur le bleu des vagues
    Suivant la phrase au contour parfait,
S'élèvent comme des gorges rondes
    Que soulève un soupir d'amour.

L'esquif aborde et me dépose,
    Jetant son amarre au pilier,
Devant une façade rose,
    Sur le marbre d'un escalier.

L'esquif aborde et me dépose,
    Jetant son amarre au pilier,
Devant une façade rose,
    Sur le marbre d'un escalier.

How exquisite they were! As one read them, one seemed to be floating down the green water-ways of the pink and pearl city, lying in a black gondola with silver prow and trailing curtains. The mere lines looked to him like those straight lines of turquoise-blue that follow one as one pushes out to the Lido. The sudden flashes of color reminded him of the gleam of the opal-and-iris-throated birds that flutter round the tall honey-combed Campanile, or stalk, with such stately grace, through the dim arcades. Leaning back with half-closed eyes, he kept saying over and over to himself,--

How beautiful they were! As you read them, it felt like floating down the green waterways of the pink and pearl city, lying in a black gondola with a silver front and flowing curtains. The simple lines looked to him like those straight turquoise-blue lines that follow you as you head out to the Lido. The sudden bursts of color reminded him of the shine of the opal-and-iris-throated birds that flutter around the tall, honeycomb-like Campanile or walk with such elegance through the dim arches. Leaning back with his eyes half-closed, he kept repeating to himself,--

Devant une façade rose,
Sur le marbre d'un escalier.

Devant une façade rose,
Sur le marbre d'un escalier.

[88] The whole of Venice was in those two lines. He remembered the autumn that he had passed there, and a wonderful love that had stirred him to delightful fantastic follies. There was romance in every place. But Venice, like Oxford, had kept the background for romance, and background was everything, or almost everything. Basil had been with him part of the time, and had gone wild over Tintoret. Poor Basil! what a horrible way for a man to die!

[88] The entire essence of Venice was captured in those two lines. He recalled the autumn he spent there, and a beautiful love that had inspired him to joyful, whimsical adventures. There was romance everywhere. But Venice, like Oxford, had preserved the setting for romance, and setting was everything, or nearly everything. Basil had joined him for part of the time and had gone crazy for Tintoret. Poor Basil! What a terrible way for a man to die!

He sighed, and took up the book again, and tried to forget. He read of the swallows that fly in and out of the little café at Smyrna where the Hadjis sit counting their amber beads and the turbaned merchants smoke their long tasselled pipes and talk gravely to each other; of the Obelisk in the Place de la Concorde that weeps tears of granite in its lonely sunless exile, and longs to be back by the hot lotus-covered Nile, where there are Sphinxes, and rose-red ibises, and white vultures with gilded claws, and crocodiles, with small beryl eyes, that crawl over the green steaming mud; and of that curious statue that Gautier compares to a contralto voice, the "monstre charmant" that couches in the porphyry-room of the Louvre. But after a time the book fell from his hand. He grew nervous, and a horrible fit of terror came over him. What if Alan Campbell should be out of England? Days would elapse before he could come back. Perhaps he might refuse to come. What could he do then? Every moment was of vital importance.

He sighed, picked up the book again, and tried to forget. He read about the swallows that fly in and out of the little café in Smyrna where the Hadjis sit counting their amber beads, and the merchants in turbans smoke their long, tasseled pipes and talk seriously with each other; about the Obelisk in the Place de la Concorde that sheds granite tears in its lonely, sunless exile, longing to be back by the hot, lotus-covered Nile, where there are Sphinxes, rose-red ibises, white vultures with gilded claws, and crocodiles with small beryl eyes that crawl over the green, steaming mud; and about that strange statue that Gautier compares to a contralto voice, the "monstre charmant" that lounges in the porphyry room of the Louvre. But after a while, the book slipped from his hand. He felt anxious, and a wave of fear washed over him. What if Alan Campbell was out of England? Days would pass before he could get back. Maybe he would refuse to return. What would he do then? Every moment was crucial.

They had been great friends once, five years before,--almost inseparable, indeed. Then the intimacy had come suddenly to an end. When they met in society now, it was only Dorian Gray who smiled: Alan Campbell never did.

They had been close friends once, five years ago—almost inseparable, really. Then their friendship suddenly ended. Now, when they met in social settings, only Dorian Gray smiled; Alan Campbell never did.

He was an extremely clever young man, though he had no real appreciation of the visible arts, and whatever little sense of the beauty of poetry he possessed he had gained entirely from Dorian. His dominant intellectual passion was for science. At Cambridge he had spent a great deal of his time working in the Laboratory, and had taken a good class in the Natural Science tripos of his year. Indeed, he was still devoted to the study of chemistry, and had a laboratory of his own, in which he used to shut himself up all day long, greatly to the annoyance of his mother, who had set her heart on his standing for Parliament and had a vague idea that a chemist was a person who made up prescriptions. He was an excellent musician, however, as well, and played both the violin and the piano better than most amateurs. In fact, it was music that had first brought him and Dorian Gray together,--music and that indefinable attraction that Dorian seemed to be able to exercise whenever he wished, and indeed exercised often without being conscious of it. They had met at Lady Berkshire's the night that Rubinstein played there, and after that used to be always seen together at the Opera, and wherever good music was going on. For eighteen months their intimacy lasted. Campbell was always either at Selby Royal or in Grosvenor Square. To him, as to many others, Dorian Gray was the type of everything that is wonderful and fascinating in life. Whether or not a quarrel had taken place between them no one ever knew. But suddenly people remarked that they scarcely spoke when [89] they met, and that Campbell seemed always to go away early from any party at which Dorian Gray was present. He had changed, too,--was strangely melancholy at times, appeared almost to dislike hearing music of any passionate character, and would never himself play, giving as his excuse, when he was called upon, that he was so absorbed in science that he had no time left in which to practise. And this was certainly true. Every day he seemed to become more interested in biology, and his name appeared once or twice in some of the scientific reviews, in connection with certain curious experiments.

He was a really smart young man, though he didn't truly appreciate the visual arts, and any sense of the beauty of poetry he had came entirely from Dorian. His main intellectual passion was science. At Cambridge, he spent a lot of time working in the lab and did well in the Natural Science tripos that year. In fact, he was still dedicated to studying chemistry and had his own lab, where he would lock himself away all day, much to his mother's annoyance, who wanted him to run for Parliament and thought a chemist was just someone who filled prescriptions. However, he was also a great musician, playing both the violin and piano better than most amateurs. It was music that first brought him and Dorian Gray together—music and that mysterious charm Dorian seemed to have whenever he wanted, which he often did without even realizing it. They met at Lady Berkshire's on the night Rubinstein played there, and after that, they were always seen together at the opera and anywhere good music was playing. Their close friendship lasted for eighteen months. Campbell was frequently either at Selby Royal or in Grosvenor Square. For him, like many others, Dorian Gray represented everything that was wonderful and captivating in life. Whether or not they had a falling out was a mystery to everyone. But suddenly, people noticed they barely spoke when they met, and Campbell always seemed to leave early from any gathering where Dorian was present. He had changed too—sometimes strangely melancholic, almost disliking passionate music, and would never play himself, claiming that he was too absorbed in science to find time to practice. And this was certainly true. Every day, he seemed to become more absorbed in biology, and his name appeared once or twice in scientific journals due to some curious experiments.

This was the man that Dorian Gray was waiting for, pacing up and down the room, glancing every moment at the clock, and becoming horribly agitated as the minutes went by. At last the door opened, and his servant entered.

This was the man Dorian Gray was waiting for, pacing back and forth in the room, checking the clock every moment and growing increasingly anxious as the minutes passed. Finally, the door opened, and his servant walked in.

"Mr. Alan Campbell, sir."

"Mr. Alan Campbell."

A sigh of relief broke from his parched lips, and the color came back to his cheeks.

A sigh of relief escaped his dry lips, and color returned to his cheeks.

"Ask him to come in at once, Francis."

"Have him come in right away, Francis."

The man bowed, and retired. In a few moments Alan Campbell walked in, looking very stern and rather pale, his pallor being intensified by his coal-black hair and dark eyebrows.

The man bowed and left. A few moments later, Alan Campbell walked in, looking very serious and somewhat pale, his whiter complexion contrasting sharply with his jet-black hair and dark eyebrows.

"Alan! this is kind of you. I thank you for coming."

"Alan! That’s really kind of you. Thank you for coming."

"I had intended never to enter your house again, Gray. But you said it was a matter of life and death." His voice was hard and cold. He spoke with slow deliberation. There was a look of contempt in the steady searching gaze that he turned on Dorian. He kept his hands in the pockets of his Astrakhan coat, and appeared not to have noticed the gesture with which he had been greeted.

"I had planned never to step foot in your house again, Gray. But you said it was a matter of life and death." His voice was harsh and icy. He spoke slowly and methodically. There was a look of disdain in the steady, probing gaze he directed at Dorian. He kept his hands in the pockets of his Astrakhan coat and seemed to ignore the gesture with which he had been welcomed.

"It is a matter of life and death, Alan, and to more than one person. Sit down."

"It’s a matter of life and death, Alan, and not just for one person. Sit down."

Campbell took a chair by the table, and Dorian sat opposite to him. The two men's eyes met. In Dorian's there was infinite pity. He knew that what he was going to do was dreadful.

Campbell sat down in a chair by the table, and Dorian took the seat across from him. Their eyes locked. In Dorian’s gaze, there was endless pity. He understood that what he was about to do was terrible.

After a strained moment of silence, he leaned across and said, very quietly, but watching the effect of each word upon the face of the man he had sent for, "Alan, in a locked room at the top of this house, a room to which nobody but myself has access, a dead man is seated at a table. He has been dead ten hours now. Don't stir, and don't look at me like that. Who the man is, why he died, how he died, are matters that do not concern you. What you have to do is this--"

After a tense moment of silence, he leaned in and said very quietly, keeping an eye on how each word affected the man he had called in, "Alan, in a locked room at the top of this house, a room that only I can access, there’s a dead man sitting at a table. He’s been dead for ten hours. Don’t move, and don’t look at me like that. Who he is, why he died, how he died—those details aren’t your concern. What you need to do is this—"

"Stop, Gray. I don't want to know anything further. Whether what you have told me is true or not true, doesn't concern me. I entirely decline to be mixed up in your life. Keep your horrible secrets to yourself. They don't interest me any more."

"Stop, Gray. I don’t want to hear anything more. Whether what you’ve told me is true or not doesn’t matter to me. I fully refuse to get involved in your life. Keep your awful secrets to yourself. I’m not interested anymore."

"Alan, they will have to interest you. This one will have to interest you. I am awfully sorry for you, Alan. But I can't help myself. You are the one man who is able to save me. I am forced to bring you into the matter. I have no option. Alan, you are a scientist. You know about chemistry, and things of that kind. You have made experiments. What you have got to do is to destroy the [90] thing that is up-stairs,--to destroy it so that not a vestige will be left of it. Nobody saw this person come into the house. Indeed, at the present moment he is supposed to be in Paris. He will not be missed for months. When he is missed, there must be no trace of him found here. You, Alan, you must change him, and everything that belongs to him, into a handful of ashes that I may scatter in the air."

"Alan, this is something you'll have to take an interest in. I truly feel bad for you, Alan. But I can't help it. You're the only person who can save me. I have no choice but to involve you in this. Alan, you're a scientist. You understand chemistry and things like that. You've done experiments. What you need to do is destroy the thing that's upstairs—destroy it completely so that not a trace of it remains. Nobody saw this person come into the house. In fact, right now, he's supposed to be in Paris. He won't be missed for months. When he is, there must be no evidence of him left here. You, Alan, need to turn him and everything related to him into a handful of ashes that I can scatter in the air."

"You are mad, Dorian."

"You're crazy, Dorian."

"Ah! I was waiting for you to call me Dorian."

"Ah! I was waiting for you to call me Dorian."

"You are mad, I tell you,--mad to imagine that I would raise a finger to help you, mad to make this monstrous confession. I will have nothing to do with this matter, whatever it is. Do you think I am going to peril my reputation for you? What is it to me what devil's work you are up to?"

"You’re crazy, I tell you—crazy to think I’d lift a finger to help you, crazy to make this outrageous confession. I want nothing to do with this, whatever it is. Do you really think I’m going to risk my reputation for you? What do I care about the trouble you’re getting into?"

"It was a suicide, Alan."

"It was a suicide, Alan."

"I am glad of that. But who drove him to it? You, I should fancy."

"I'm glad to hear that. But who pushed him to do it? You, I would guess."

"Do you still refuse to do this, for me?"

"Do you still refuse to do this for me?"

"Of course I refuse. I will have absolutely nothing to do with it. I don't care what shame comes on you. You deserve it all. I should not be sorry to see you disgraced, publicly disgraced. How dare you ask me, of all men in the world, to mix myself up in this horror? I should have thought you knew more about people's characters. Your friend Lord Henry Wotton can't have taught you much about psychology, whatever else he has taught you. Nothing will induce me to stir a step to help you. You have come to the wrong man. Go to some of your friends. Don't come to me."

"Of course I refuse. I want no part of this at all. I don't care what shame falls on you. You deserve every bit of it. I wouldn't feel sorry to see you publicly humiliated. How dare you ask me, of all people, to get involved in this mess? I would have thought you understood people's characters better. Your friend Lord Henry Wotton clearly hasn't taught you much about psychology, if anything at all. Nothing will make me take a step to help you. You've come to the wrong person. Go to some of your friends. Don't come to me."

"Alan, it was murder. I killed him. You don't know what he had made me suffer. Whatever my life is, he had more to do with the making or the marring of it than poor Harry has had. He may not have intended it, the result was the same."

"Alan, it was murder. I killed him. You have no idea what he put me through. Whatever my life is, he had a bigger impact on it—good or bad—than poor Harry ever did. He might not have meant to, but the outcome was the same."

"Murder! Good God, Dorian, is that what you have come to? I shall not inform upon you. It is not my business. Besides, you are certain to be arrested, without my stirring in the matter. Nobody ever commits a murder without doing something stupid. But I will have nothing to do with it."

"Murder! Oh my God, Dorian, is this really what you’ve come to? I’m not going to rat you out. It’s not my place. Besides, you’re definitely going to be caught, even without me getting involved. No one ever commits a murder without doing something dumb. But I want no part of this."

"All I ask of you is to perform a certain scientific experiment. You go to hospitals and dead-houses, and the horrors that you do there don't affect you. If in some hideous dissecting-room or fetid laboratory you found this man lying on a leaden table with red gutters scooped out in it, you would simply look upon him as an admirable subject. You would not turn a hair. You would not believe that you were doing anything wrong. On the contrary, you would probably feel that you were benefiting the human race, or increasing the sum of knowledge in the world, or gratifying intellectual curiosity, or something of that kind. What I want you to do is simply what you have often done before. Indeed, to destroy a body must be less horrible than what you are accustomed to work at. And, remember, it is the only piece of evidence against me. If it is discovered, I am lost; and it is sure to be discovered unless you help me."

"All I ask is for you to carry out a specific scientific experiment. You go to hospitals and morgues, and the horrific things you do there don’t seem to bother you. If you found this man lying on a metal table with red grooves carved into it in some ghastly autopsy room or stinky lab, you would simply see him as a valuable subject. You wouldn’t flinch. You wouldn’t think you were doing anything wrong. On the contrary, you’d likely feel you were contributing to humanity, expanding knowledge in the world, satisfying intellectual curiosity, or something like that. What I need you to do is just what you’ve done many times before. In fact, destroying a body must be less disturbing than what you're used to working on. And remember, it’s the only piece of evidence against me. If it’s found, I’m done for; and it will definitely be found unless you help me."

[91] "I have no desire to help you. You forget that. I am simply indifferent to the whole thing. It has nothing to do with me."

[91] "I have no interest in helping you. You need to remember that. I'm just indifferent to the whole situation. It doesn't involve me."

"Alan, I entreat you. Think of the position I am in. Just before you came I almost fainted with terror. No! don't think of that. Look at the matter purely from the scientific point of view. You don't inquire where the dead things on which you experiment come from. Don't inquire now. I have told you too much as it is. But I beg of you to do this. We were friends once, Alan."

"Alan, I’m begging you. Think about the situation I’m in. Right before you got here, I nearly passed out from fear. No! Don’t focus on that. Look at this from a purely scientific perspective. You don’t ask where the dead things you experiment on come from. So don’t ask now. I’ve already told you too much. But I’m asking you to do this. We were friends once, Alan."

"Don't speak about those days, Dorian: they are dead."

"Don't talk about those days, Dorian: they're gone."

"The dead linger sometimes. The man up-stairs will not go away. He is sitting at the table with bowed head and outstretched arms. Alan! Alan! if you don't come to my assistance I am ruined. Why, they will hang me, Alan! Don't you understand? They will hang me for what I have done."

"The dead stick around sometimes. The man upstairs won’t leave. He’s sitting at the table with his head down and arms stretched out. Alan! Alan! If you don’t help me, I’m done for. Don’t you get it? They’re going to hang me for what I did."

"There is no good in prolonging this scene. I refuse absolutely to do anything in the matter. It is insane of you to ask me."

"There’s no point in dragging this out. I completely refuse to get involved. It’s ridiculous for you to ask me."

"You refuse absolutely?"

"You completely refuse?"

"Yes."

"Yep."

The same look of pity came into Dorian's eyes, then he stretched out his hand, took a piece of paper, and wrote something on it. He read it over twice, folded it carefully, and pushed it across the table. Having done this, he got up, and went over to the window.

The same look of pity appeared in Dorian's eyes, then he reached out his hand, grabbed a piece of paper, and wrote something on it. He read it over twice, folded it neatly, and slid it across the table. After doing this, he stood up and went over to the window.

Campbell looked at him in surprise, and then took up the paper, and opened it. As he read it, his face became ghastly pale, and he fell back in his chair. A horrible sense of sickness came over him. He felt as if his heart was beating itself to death in some empty hollow.

Campbell stared at him in shock, then grabbed the paper and opened it. As he read, his face went deathly pale, and he leaned back in his chair. A terrible wave of nausea washed over him. He felt like his heart was pounding violently in some empty void.

After two or three minutes of terrible silence, Dorian turned round, and came and stood behind him, putting his hand upon his shoulder.

After two or three minutes of heavy silence, Dorian turned around and came to stand behind him, placing his hand on his shoulder.

"I am so sorry, Alan," he murmured, "but you leave me no alternative. I have a letter written already. Here it is. You see the address. If you don't help me, I must send it. You know what the result will be. But you are going to help me. It is impossible for you to refuse now. I tried to spare you. You will do me the justice to admit that. You were stern, harsh, offensive. You treated me as no man has ever dared to treat me,--no living man, at any rate. I bore it all. Now it is for me to dictate terms."

"I'm really sorry, Alan," he said quietly, "but you leave me no choice. I already have a letter written. Here it is. You can see the address. If you don’t help me, I have to send it. You know what will happen. But you’re going to help me. There’s no way you can refuse now. I tried to make this easier for you. You have to admit that. You were strict, harsh, and offensive. You treated me like no one has ever dared to treat me—at least, no living man. I put up with it all. Now it's my turn to call the shots."

Campbell buried his face in his hands, and a shudder passed through him.

Campbell buried his face in his hands, and a shiver went through him.

"Yes, it is my turn to dictate terms, Alan. You know what they are. The thing is quite simple. Come, don't work yourself into this fever. The thing has to be done. Face it, and do it."

"Yes, it's my turn to set the terms, Alan. You know what they are. It's really straightforward. Come on, don't get all worked up about this. It needs to be done. Just face it and do it."

A groan broke from Campbell's lips, and he shivered all over. The ticking of the clock on the mantel-piece seemed to him to be dividing time into separate atoms of agony, each of which was too terrible to be borne. He felt as if an iron ring was being slowly tightened round his forehead, and as if the disgrace with which he was threatened had already come upon him. The hand upon his shoulder weighed like a hand of lead. It was intolerable. It seemed to crush him.

A groan escaped Campbell's lips, and he shuddered all over. The ticking of the clock on the mantelpiece felt like it was splitting time into tiny pieces of pain, each one too horrible to endure. He felt as if an iron band was slowly being tightened around his forehead, and as if the shame he feared was already upon him. The hand on his shoulder felt like a lead weight. It was unbearable. It seemed to crush him.

"Come, Alan, you must decide at once."

"Come on, Alan, you need to decide right now."

[92] He hesitated a moment. "Is there a fire in the room up-stairs?" he murmured.

[92] He paused for a moment. "Is there a fire in the room upstairs?" he whispered.

"Yes, there is a gas-fire with asbestos."

"Yes, there is a gas fireplace with asbestos."

"I will have to go home and get some things from the laboratory."

"I need to go home and grab some things from the lab."

"No, Alan, you need not leave the house. Write on a sheet of note-paper what you want, and my servant will take a cab and bring the things back to you."

"No, Alan, you don’t need to leave the house. Just write down what you want on a piece of paper, and my servant will take a cab and bring the items back to you."

Campbell wrote a few lines, blotted them, and addressed an envelope to his assistant. Dorian took the note up and read it carefully. Then he rang the bell, and gave it to his valet, with orders to return as soon as possible, and to bring the things with him.

Campbell wrote a few lines, blotted them, and addressed an envelope to his assistant. Dorian picked up the note and read it closely. Then he rang the bell and handed it to his valet, instructing him to come back as soon as possible and to bring the items with him.

When the hall door shut, Campbell started, and, having got up from the chair, went over to the chimney-piece. He was shivering with a sort of ague. For nearly twenty minutes, neither of the men spoke. A fly buzzed noisily about the room, and the ticking of the clock was like the beat of a hammer.

When the hall door closed, Campbell jumped and, getting up from the chair, walked over to the fireplace. He was shaking with a kind of fever. For almost twenty minutes, neither of the men said anything. A fly buzzed loudly around the room, and the ticking of the clock sounded like the pounding of a hammer.

As the chime struck one, Campbell turned around, and, looking at Dorian Gray, saw that his eyes were filled with tears. There was something in the purity and refinement of that sad face that seemed to enrage him. "You are infamous, absolutely infamous!" he muttered.

As the clock struck one, Campbell turned around and saw that Dorian Gray's eyes were filled with tears. There was something about the purity and refinement of that sorrowful face that seemed to infuriate him. "You're notorious, completely notorious!" he muttered.

"Hush, Alan: you have saved my life," said Dorian.

"Hush, Alan: you saved my life," Dorian said.

"Your life? Good heavens! what a life that is! You have gone from corruption to corruption, and now you have culminated in crime. In doing what I am going to do, what you force me to do, it is not of your life that I am thinking."

"Your life? Good grief! What a life that is! You’ve gone from one mess to another, and now you’ve ended up in crime. By doing what I’m about to do, what you’re making me do, I’m not thinking about your life."

"Ah, Alan," murmured Dorian, with a sigh, "I wish you had a thousandth part of the pity for me that I have for you." He turned away, as he spoke, and stood looking out at the garden. Campbell made no answer.

"Ah, Alan," Dorian sighed, "I wish you felt just a fraction of the pity for me that I have for you." He turned away as he spoke and looked out at the garden. Campbell didn't respond.

After about ten minutes a knock came to the door, and the servant entered, carrying a mahogany chest of chemicals, with a small electric battery set on top of it. He placed it on the table, and went out again, returning with a long coil of steel and platinum wire and two rather curiously-shaped iron clamps.

After about ten minutes, there was a knock at the door, and the servant came in, carrying a mahogany chest of chemicals, with a small electric battery on top. He put it on the table and left again, coming back with a long coil of steel and platinum wire and two oddly shaped iron clamps.

"Shall I leave the things here, sir?" he asked Campbell.

"Should I leave the things here, sir?" he asked Campbell.

"Yes," said Dorian. "And I am afraid, Francis, that I have another errand for you. What is the name of the man at Richmond who supplies Selby with orchids?"

"Yes," Dorian said. "And I'm afraid, Francis, that I have another task for you. What’s the name of the guy in Richmond who supplies Selby with orchids?"

"Harden, sir."

"Harden up, sir."

"Yes,--Harden. You must go down to Richmond at once, see Harden personally, and tell him to send twice as many orchids as I ordered, and to have as few white ones as possible. In fact, I don't want any white ones. It is a lovely day, Francis, and Richmond is a very pretty place, otherwise I wouldn't bother you about it."

"Yes, Harden. You need to go down to Richmond right away, talk to Harden in person, and tell him to send double the number of orchids I ordered, with as few white ones as possible. Actually, I don’t want any white ones at all. It’s a beautiful day, Francis, and Richmond is a really nice place, or else I wouldn’t be bothering you with this."

"No trouble, sir. At what time shall I be back?"

"No problem, sir. What time should I come back?"

Dorian looked at Campbell. "How long will your experiment take, Alan?" he said, in a calm, indifferent voice. The presence of a third person in the room seemed to give him extraordinary courage.

Dorian looked at Campbell. "How long will your experiment take, Alan?" he said, in a calm, indifferent voice. The presence of a third person in the room seemed to give him an unexpected boost of confidence.

Campbell frowned, and bit his lip. "It will take about five hours," he answered.

Campbell frowned and bit his lip. "It'll take about five hours," he replied.

[93] "It will be time enough, then, if you are back at half-past seven, Francis. Or stay: just leave my things out for dressing. You can have the evening to yourself. I am not dining at home, so I shall not want you."

[93] "It’ll be fine if you’re back by 7:30, Francis. Or wait: just leave my things out for me to get ready. You can have the evening to yourself. I’m not eating at home, so I won’t need you."

"Thank you, sir," said the man, leaving the room.

"Thank you, sir," the man said as he left the room.

"Now, Alan, there is not a moment to be lost. How heavy this chest is! I'll take it for you. You bring the other things." He spoke rapidly, and in an authoritative manner. Campbell felt dominated by him. They left the room together.

"Now, Alan, we can't waste any time. This chest is so heavy! I'll handle it for you. You grab the other stuff." He spoke quickly and firmly. Campbell felt overwhelmed by him. They left the room together.

When they reached the top landing, Dorian took out the key and turned it in the lock. Then he stopped, and a troubled look came into his eyes. He shuddered. "I don't think I can go in, Alan," he murmured.

When they reached the top landing, Dorian took out the key and turned it in the lock. Then he stopped, and a troubled look crossed his face. He shuddered. "I don’t think I can go in, Alan," he whispered.

"It is nothing to me. I don't require you," said Campbell, coldly.

"It doesn't mean anything to me. I don't need you," Campbell said, coldly.

Dorian half opened the door. As he did so, he saw the face of the portrait grinning in the sunlight. On the floor in front of it the torn curtain was lying. He remembered that the night before, for the first time in his life, he had forgotten to hide it, when he crept out of the room.

Dorian partially opened the door. As he did, he saw the portrait's face grinning in the sunlight. On the floor in front of it lay the torn curtain. He remembered that the night before, for the first time in his life, he had forgotten to hide it when he sneaked out of the room.

But what was that loathsome red dew that gleamed, wet and glistening, on one of the hands, as though the canvas had sweated blood? How horrible it was!--more horrible, it seemed to him for the moment, than the silent thing that he knew was stretched across the table, the thing whose grotesque misshapen shadow on the spotted carpet showed him that it had not stirred, but was still there, as he had left it.

But what was that disgusting red dew that shone, wet and shiny, on one of the hands, as if the canvas had sweated blood? How terrible it was!—more terrible, it seemed to him for the moment, than the silent thing he knew was lying on the table, the thing whose grotesque, misshapen shadow on the speckled carpet showed him that it hadn't moved and was still there, just as he had left it.

He opened the door a little wider, and walked quickly in, with half-closed eyes and averted head, determined that he would not look even once upon the dead man. Then, stooping down, and taking up the gold-and-purple hanging, he flung it over the picture.

He opened the door wider and quickly walked in, with his eyes half-closed and his head turned away, determined not to look even once at the dead man. Then, bending down, he picked up the gold-and-purple drape and threw it over the picture.

He stopped, feeling afraid to turn round, and his eyes fixed themselves on the intricacies of the pattern before him. He heard Campbell bringing in the heavy chest, and the irons, and the other things that he had required for his dreadful work. He began to wonder if he and Basil Hallward had ever met, and, if so, what they had thought of each other.

He stopped, feeling scared to turn around, and his eyes focused on the details of the pattern in front of him. He heard Campbell bringing in the heavy chest, the tools, and other things he needed for his terrible task. He started to wonder if he and Basil Hallward had ever met, and if they had, what they had thought of each other.

"Leave me now," said Campbell.

"Leave me now," Campbell said.

He turned and hurried out, just conscious that the dead man had been thrust back into the chair and was sitting up in it, with Campbell gazing into the glistening yellow face. As he was going downstairs he heard the key being turned in the lock.

He turned and rushed out, only aware that the dead man had been pushed back into the chair and was sitting up in it, with Campbell staring at the gleaming yellow face. As he was heading downstairs, he heard the key turning in the lock.

It was long after seven o'clock when Campbell came back into the library. He was pale, but absolutely calm. "I have done what you asked me to do," he muttered. "And now, good-by. Let us never see each other again."

It was well past seven o'clock when Campbell returned to the library. He looked pale, but completely composed. "I've done what you asked," he said quietly. "And now, goodbye. Let's never meet again."

"You have saved me from ruin, Alan. I cannot forget that," said Dorian, simply.

"You saved me from disaster, Alan. I won't forget that," Dorian said, straightforwardly.

As soon as Campbell had left, he went up-stairs. There was a horrible smell of chemicals in the room. But the thing that had been sitting at the table was gone.

As soon as Campbell left, he went upstairs. There was a terrible smell of chemicals in the room. But the thing that had been sitting at the table was gone.




CHAPTER XIII

[94] "There is no good telling me you are going to be good, Dorian," cried Lord Henry, dipping his white fingers into a red copper bowl filled with rose-water. "You are quite perfect. Pray don't change."

[94] "There's no point in telling me you're going to be good, Dorian," cried Lord Henry, dipping his white fingers into a red copper bowl filled with rose-water. "You're absolutely perfect. Please don't change."

Dorian shook his head. "No, Harry, I have done too many dreadful things in my life. I am not going to do any more. I began my good actions yesterday."

Dorian shook his head. "No, Harry, I've done too many terrible things in my life. I'm not going to do any more. I started my good actions yesterday."

"Where were you yesterday?"

"Where were you yesterday?"

"In the country, Harry. I was staying at a little inn by myself."

"In the countryside, Harry. I was staying at a small inn all alone."

"My dear boy," said Lord Henry smiling, "anybody can be good in the country. There are no temptations there. That is the reason why people who live out of town are so uncivilized. There are only two ways, as you know, of becoming civilized. One is by being cultured, the other is by being corrupt. Country-people have no opportunity of being either, so they stagnate."

"My dear boy," said Lord Henry with a smile, "anyone can be good in the countryside. There aren’t any temptations there. That’s why people who live in rural areas are so uncivilized. As you know, there are only two ways to become civilized. One is through culture, the other is through corruption. People in the country don’t have the chance to do either, so they just stagnate."

"Culture and corruption," murmured Dorian. "I have known something of both. It seems to me curious now that they should ever be found together. For I have a new ideal, Harry. I am going to alter. I think I have altered."

"Culture and corruption," Dorian murmured. "I’ve experienced a bit of both. It’s interesting to me now that they can exist together. Because I have a new ideal, Harry. I’m going to change. I think I’ve already changed."

"You have not told me yet what your good action was. Or did you say you had done more than one?"

"You still haven't told me what your good deed was. Or did you say you had done more than one?"

"I can tell you, Harry. It is not a story I could tell to any one else. I spared somebody. It sounds vain, but you understand what I mean. She was quite beautiful, and wonderfully like Sibyl Vane. I think it was that which first attracted me to her. You remember Sibyl, don't you? How long ago that seems! Well, Hetty was not one of our own class, of course. She was simply a girl in a village. But I really loved her. I am quite sure that I loved her. All during this wonderful May that we have been having, I used to run down and see her two or three times a week. Yesterday she met me in a little orchard. The apple-blossoms kept tumbling down on her hair, and she was laughing. We were to have gone away together this morning at dawn. Suddenly I determined to leave her as flower-like as I had found her."

"I can tell you, Harry. It’s not a story I could share with anyone else. I spared someone. It might sound a bit arrogant, but you get what I mean. She was really beautiful and strikingly similar to Sibyl Vane. I think that’s what drew me to her in the first place. You remember Sibyl, right? It feels like it was ages ago! Anyway, Hetty wasn’t from our social circle, of course. She was just a girl from a village. But I truly loved her. I’m sure I loved her. Throughout this amazing May we’ve been having, I’d run down to see her two or three times a week. Yesterday, she met me in a little orchard. The apple blossoms kept falling into her hair, and she was laughing. We were supposed to leave together this morning at dawn. Suddenly, I decided to leave her as flower-like as I had found her."

"I should think the novelty of the emotion must have given you a thrill of real pleasure, Dorian," interrupted Lord Henry. "But I can finish your idyl for you. You gave her good advice, and broke her heart. That was the beginning of your reformation."

"I should believe the newness of the feeling must have given you a rush of genuine pleasure, Dorian," interjected Lord Henry. "But I can wrap up your story for you. You gave her solid advice and shattered her heart. That was the start of your transformation."

"Harry, you are horrible! You mustn't say these dreadful things. Hetty's heart is not broken. Of course she cried, and all that. But there is no disgrace upon her. She can live, like Perdita, in her garden."

"Harry, you’re awful! You shouldn’t say such terrible things. Hetty's heart isn't broken. Of course, she cried and all that. But there’s no shame in her. She can live, like Perdita, in her garden."

"And weep over a faithless Florizel," said Lord Henry, laughing. "My dear Dorian, you have the most curious boyish moods. Do you think this girl will ever be really contented now with any one of her own rank? I suppose she will be married some day to a rough carter or a grinning ploughman. Well, having met you, and loved you, will teach her to despise her husband, and she will be wretched. From a moral point of view I really don't think much of your great renunciation. [95] Even as a beginning, it is poor. Besides, how do you know that Hetty isn't floating at the present moment in some mill-pond, with water-lilies round her, like Ophelia?"

"And cry over a unfaithful Florizel," Lord Henry said with a laugh. "My dear Dorian, you have the most interesting boyish moods. Do you think this girl will ever truly be happy with anyone of her own social class? I guess she’ll end up marrying some rough delivery guy or a smiling farmer. Well, having met you and loved you will just make her look down on her husband, and she’ll be miserable. From a moral standpoint, I really don’t think much of your big renunciation. Even as a start, it’s weak. Besides, how do you know Hetty isn’t currently lying in some pond, surrounded by water lilies, like Ophelia?"

"I can't bear this, Harry! You mock at everything, and then suggest the most serious tragedies. I am sorry I told you now. I don't care what you say to me, I know I was right in acting as I did. Poor Hetty! As I rode past the farm this morning, I saw her white face at the window, like a spray of jasmine. Don't let me talk about it any more, and don't try to persuade me that the first good action I have done for years, the first little bit of self-sacrifice I have ever known, is really a sort of sin. I want to be better. I am going to be better. Tell me something about yourself. What is going on in town? I have not been to the club for days."

"I can't stand this, Harry! You make fun of everything and then suggest the most serious tragedies. I'm regretting telling you now. I don’t care what you say to me; I know I was right to act the way I did. Poor Hetty! When I rode past the farm this morning, I saw her pale face at the window, like a sprig of jasmine. Please, let’s not talk about it anymore, and don’t try to convince me that the first good thing I've done in years, the first little act of self-sacrifice I’ve ever known, is actually a sin. I want to be better. I’m going to be better. Tell me something about yourself. What’s happening in town? I haven't been to the club in days."

"The people are still discussing poor Basil's disappearance."

"The people are still talking about poor Basil's disappearance."

"I should have thought they had got tired of that by this time," said Dorian, pouring himself out some wine, and frowning slightly.

"I figured they would have gotten tired of that by now," Dorian said, pouring himself some wine and frowning a little.

"My dear boy, they have only been talking about it for six weeks, and the public are really not equal to the mental strain of having more than one topic every three months. They have been very fortunate lately, however. They have had my own divorce-case, and Alan Campbell's suicide. Now they have got the mysterious disappearance of an artist. Scotland Yard still insists that the man in the gray ulster who left Victoria by the midnight train on the 7th of November was poor Basil, and the French police declare that Basil never arrived in Paris at all. I suppose in about a fortnight we will be told that he has been seen in San Francisco. It is an odd thing, but every one who disappears is said to be seen at San Francisco. It must be a delightful city, and possess all the attractions of the next world."

"My dear boy, they've only been talking about this for six weeks, and the public really can't handle more than one topic every three months. They've been pretty lucky lately, though. They've had my divorce case and Alan Campbell's suicide. Now they've got the mysterious disappearance of an artist. Scotland Yard still insists that the man in the gray coat who left Victoria on the midnight train on November 7th was poor Basil, while the French police claim that Basil never arrived in Paris at all. I guess in about two weeks we'll be told that he's been spotted in San Francisco. It's funny, but everyone who disappears is said to be seen in San Francisco. It must be a wonderful city and have all the attractions of the next world."

"What do you think has happened to Basil?" asked Dorian, holding up his Burgundy against the light, and wondering how it was that he could discuss the matter so calmly.

"What do you think happened to Basil?" asked Dorian, holding his Burgundy up to the light, wondering how he could talk about it so calmly.

"I have not the slightest idea. If Basil chooses to hide himself, it is no business of mine. If he is dead, I don't want to think about him. Death is the only thing that ever terrifies me. I hate it. One can survive everything nowadays except that. Death and vulgarity are the only two facts in the nineteenth century that one cannot explain away. Let us have our coffee in the music-room, Dorian. You must play Chopin to me. The man with whom my wife ran away played Chopin exquisitely. Poor Victoria! I was very fond of her. The house is rather lonely without her."

"I have no clue. If Basil wants to hide away, that’s his choice. If he’s dead, I don’t want to think about it. Death is the only thing that really scares me. I hate it. Nowadays, you can get through anything except that. Death and vulgarity are the only two realities in the nineteenth century that can’t be explained away. Let’s have our coffee in the music room, Dorian. You need to play Chopin for me. The guy my wife left me for played Chopin beautifully. Poor Victoria! I really cared for her. The house feels quite empty without her."

Dorian said nothing, but rose from the table, and, passing into the next room, sat down to the piano and let his fingers stray across the keys. After the coffee had been brought in, he stopped, and, looking over at Lord Henry, said, "Harry, did it ever occur to you that Basil was murdered?"

Dorian didn’t say anything but got up from the table and walked into the next room. He sat down at the piano and let his fingers wander over the keys. After the coffee was brought in, he stopped playing, looked over at Lord Henry, and said, "Harry, have you ever thought that Basil was murdered?"

Lord Henry yawned. "Basil had no enemies, and always wore a Waterbury watch. Why should he be murdered? He was not clever enough to have enemies. Of course he had a wonderful genius for painting. But a man can paint like Velasquez and yet be as dull as possible. Basil was really rather dull. He only interested me once, [96] and that was when he told me, years ago, that he had a wild adoration for you."

Lord Henry yawned. "Basil had no enemies and always wore a Waterbury watch. Why would he be murdered? He wasn’t clever enough to have enemies. Of course, he had a wonderful talent for painting. But a guy can paint like Velasquez and still be incredibly boring. Basil was really quite dull. He only intrigued me once, and that was when he told me, years ago, that he had a wild admiration for you."

"I was very fond of Basil," said Dorian, with a sad look in his eyes. "But don't people say that he was murdered?"

"I really liked Basil," Dorian said, a sad look in his eyes. "But don’t people say he was murdered?"

"Oh, some of the papers do. It does not seem to be probable. I know there are dreadful places in Paris, but Basil was not the sort of man to have gone to them. He had no curiosity. It was his chief defect. Play me a nocturne, Dorian, and, as you play, tell me, in a low voice, how you have kept your youth. You must have some secret. I am only ten years older than you are, and I am wrinkled, and bald, and yellow. You are really wonderful, Dorian. You have never looked more charming than you do to-night. You remind me of the day I saw you first. You were rather cheeky, very shy, and absolutely extraordinary. You have changed, of course, but not in appearance. I wish you would tell me your secret. To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable. Youth! There is nothing like it. It's absurd to talk of the ignorance of youth. The only people whose opinions I listen to now with any respect are people much younger than myself. They seem in front of me. Life has revealed to them her last wonder. As for the aged, I always contradict the aged. I do it on principle. If you ask them their opinion on something that happened yesterday, they solemnly give you the opinions current in 1820, when people wore high stocks and knew absolutely nothing. How lovely that thing you are playing is! I wonder did Chopin write it at Majorca, with the sea weeping round the villa, and the salt spray dashing against the panes? It is marvelously romantic. What a blessing it is that there is one art left to us that is not imitative! Don't stop. I want music to-night. It seems to me that you are the young Apollo, and that I am Marsyas listening to you. I have sorrows, Dorian, of my own, that even you know nothing of. The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. I am amazed sometimes at my own sincerity. Ah, Dorian, how happy you are! What an exquisite life you have had! You have drunk deeply of everything. You have crushed the grapes against your palate. Nothing has been hidden from you. But it has all been to you no more than the sound of music. It has not marred you. You are still the same.

"Oh, some of the papers do. It doesn’t seem likely. I’m aware there are terrible places in Paris, but Basil wasn’t the type to visit them. He had no curiosity. That was his biggest flaw. Play me a nocturne, Dorian, and while you play, tell me quietly how you’ve managed to stay young. You must have a secret. I’m only ten years older than you, yet I’m wrinkled, bald, and yellow. You’re truly amazing, Dorian. You’ve never looked more charming than you do tonight. You remind me of the day I first saw you. You were a bit cheeky, very shy, and absolutely extraordinary. You’ve changed, of course, but not in looks. I wish you’d share your secret with me. I would do anything in the world to get my youth back, except exercise, wake up early, or be respectable. Youth! There’s nothing like it. It’s ridiculous to talk about the ignorance of youth. The only people whose opinions I listen to with any respect now are those much younger than I am. They seem to be ahead of me. Life has revealed its last wonder to them. As for the old, I always contradict them. I do it on principle. If you ask their opinion on something that happened yesterday, they solemnly share the views from 1820, when people wore high collars and knew absolutely nothing. How beautiful that piece you’re playing is! I wonder if Chopin wrote it in Majorca, with the sea weeping around the villa and the salt spray hitting the windows? It’s wonderfully romantic. How lucky we are that there’s still one art left to us that isn’t imitative! Don’t stop. I want music tonight. You seem like the young Apollo, and I’m Marsyas listening to you. I have my own sorrows, Dorian, that even you don’t know about. The tragedy of old age isn’t being old but being young. Sometimes I’m amazed at my own honesty. Ah, Dorian, how lucky you are! What a beautiful life you’ve had! You’ve experienced everything deeply. You’ve crushed the grapes against your tongue. Nothing has been hidden from you. But to you, it’s been no more than the sound of music. It hasn’t tarnished you. You’re still the same."

"I wonder what the rest of your life will be. Don't spoil it by renunciations. At present you are a perfect type. Don't make yourself incomplete. You are quite flawless now. You need not shake your head: you know you are. Besides, Dorian, don't deceive yourself. Life is not governed by will or intention. Life is a question of nerves, and fibres, and slowly-built-up cells in which thought hides itself and passion has its dreams. You may fancy yourself safe, and think yourself strong. But a chance tone of color in a room or a morning sky, a particular perfume that you had once loved and that brings strange memories with it, a line from a forgotten poem that you had come across again, a cadence from a piece of music that you had ceased to play,--I tell you, Dorian, that it is on things like these that our lives depend. Browning writes about that somewhere; but our [97] own senses will imagine them for us. There are moments when the odor of heliotrope passes suddenly across me, and I have to live the strangest year of my life over again.

"I wonder what the rest of your life will be like. Don't ruin it by giving up on things. Right now, you're perfect. Don't make yourself less than that. You're completely flawless as you are. You don’t need to shake your head; you know it’s true. Besides, Dorian, don’t fool yourself. Life isn’t controlled by will or intention. Life is about nerves, fibers, and slowly developed cells where thoughts hide and passions dream. You might think you're safe and strong. But a random splash of color in a room, or a morning sky, a scent you once loved that brings back strange memories, a line from a forgotten poem that you stumble across again, a melody from a piece of music you stopped playing—I’m telling you, Dorian, our lives depend on things like these. Browning wrote about that somewhere, but our own senses will remind us of them. There are times when the scent of heliotrope suddenly wafts by, and I have to relive the strangest year of my life all over again."

"I wish I could change places with you, Dorian. The world has cried out against us both, but it has always worshipped you. It always will worship you. You are the type of what the age is searching for, and what it is afraid it has found. I am so glad that you have never done anything, never carved a statue, or painted a picture, or produced anything outside of yourself! Life has been your art. You have set yourself to music. Your days have been your sonnets."

"I wish I could switch places with you, Dorian. The world has criticized both of us, but it has always admired you. It always will admire you. You represent what this age is looking for and what it fears it has discovered. I'm so glad that you've never created anything, never sculpted a statue, painted a picture, or made anything apart from yourself! Life has been your art. You've made yourself into music. Your days have been your poems."

Dorian rose up from the piano, and passed his hand through his hair. "Yes, life has been exquisite," he murmured, "but I am not going to have the same life, Harry. And you must not say these extravagant things to me. You don't know everything about me. I think that if you did, even you would turn from me. You laugh. Don't laugh."

Dorian got up from the piano and ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, life has been amazing," he said quietly, "but I'm not going to live that same life, Harry. And you shouldn't say those over-the-top things to me. You don’t know everything about me. I believe that if you did, even you would turn away from me. You laugh. Don't laugh."

"Why have you stopped playing, Dorian? Go back and play the nocturne over again. Look at that great honey-colored moon that hangs in the dusky air. She is waiting for you to charm her, and if you play she will come closer to the earth. You won't? Let us go to the club, then. It has been a charming evening, and we must end it charmingly. There is some one at the club who wants immensely to know you,--young Lord Poole, Bournmouth's eldest son. He has already copied your neckties, and has begged me to introduce him to you. He is quite delightful, and rather reminds me of you."

"Why did you stop playing, Dorian? Go back and play the nocturne again. Look at that beautiful honey-colored moon hanging in the twilight. She's waiting for you to enchant her, and if you play, she’ll come closer to the earth. You won’t? Then let’s go to the club. It’s been a lovely evening, and we should end it on a lovely note. There’s someone at the club who really wants to meet you—young Lord Poole, the eldest son of Bournmouth. He’s already copied your neckties and has asked me to introduce him to you. He’s quite charming and reminds me a bit of you."

"I hope not," said Dorian, with a touch of pathos in his voice. "But I am tired to-night, Harry. I won't go to the club. It is nearly eleven, and I want to go to bed early."

"I hope not," Dorian said, with a hint of sadness in his voice. "But I’m really tired tonight, Harry. I’m not going to the club. It’s almost eleven, and I want to get to bed early."

"Do stay. You have never played so well as to-night. There was something in your touch that was wonderful. It had more expression than I had ever heard from it before."

"Please stay. You've never played as well as you did tonight. There was something amazing in your touch. It had more expression than I’ve ever heard from it before."

"It is because I am going to be good," he answered, smiling. "I am a little changed already."

"It’s because I’m going to be good," he replied, smiling. "I’m a little different already."

"Don't change, Dorian; at any rate, don't change to me. We must always be friends."

"Don't change, Dorian; at least, don't change for me. We have to always be friends."

"Yet you poisoned me with a book once. I should not forgive that. Harry, promise me that you will never lend that book to any one. It does harm."

"Yet you poisoned me with a book once. I shouldn’t forgive that. Harry, promise me that you will never lend that book to anyone. It does harm."

"My dear boy, you are really beginning to moralize. You will soon be going about warning people against all the sins of which you have grown tired. You are much too delightful to do that. Besides, it is no use. You and I are what we are, and will be what we will be. Come round tomorrow. I am going to ride at eleven, and we might go together. The Park is quite lovely now. I don't think there have been such lilacs since the year I met you."

"My dear boy, you're really starting to get all moralistic. Soon you'll be going around warning people about all the sins you're tired of. You're way too charming for that. Plus, it wouldn't help anyway. You and I are who we are, and we'll be who we’ll be. Come by tomorrow. I'm planning to ride at eleven, and we could go together. The Park is absolutely beautiful right now. I don’t think the lilacs have been this lovely since the year I met you."

"Very well. I will be here at eleven," said Dorian. "Good-night, Harry." As he reached the door he hesitated for a moment, as if he had something more to say. Then he sighed and went out.

"Alright. I'll be here at eleven," Dorian said. "Good night, Harry." As he got to the door, he paused for a moment, as if he had more to say. Then he sighed and left.

It was a lovely night, so warm that he threw his coat over his arm, and did not even put his silk scarf round his throat. As he strolled [98] home, smoking his cigarette, two young men in evening dress passed him. He heard one of them whisper to the other, "That is Dorian Gray." He remembered how pleased he used to be when he was pointed out, or stared at, or talked about. He was tired of hearing his own name now. Half the charm of the little village where he had been so often lately was that no one knew who he was. He had told the girl whom he had made love him that he was poor, and she had believed him. He had told her once that he was wicked, and she had laughed at him, and told him that wicked people were always very old and very ugly. What a laugh she had!--just like a thrush singing. And how pretty she had been in her cotton dresses and her large hats! She knew nothing, but she had everything that he had lost.

It was a beautiful night, so warm that he threw his coat over his arm and didn’t even tie his silk scarf around his neck. As he walked home, smoking his cigarette, two young men in formalwear walked past him. He heard one whisper to the other, "That’s Dorian Gray." He remembered how happy he used to feel when people pointed him out, stared at him, or talked about him. Now, he was tired of hearing his own name. Half the appeal of the little village where he had spent so much time recently was that no one knew who he was. He had told the girl he had fallen in love with that he was poor, and she had believed him. Once, he told her he was bad, and she laughed, saying that bad people were always very old and very ugly. What a laugh she had! Just like a thrush singing. And how pretty she had looked in her cotton dresses and large hats! She knew nothing, but she had everything he had lost.

When he reached home, he found his servant waiting up for him. He sent him to bed, and threw himself down on the sofa in the library, and began to think over some of the things that Lord Henry had said to him.

When he got home, he found his servant waiting for him. He sent him to bed and collapsed on the sofa in the library, starting to think about some of the things Lord Henry had said to him.

Was it really true that one could never change? He felt a wild longing for the unstained purity of his boyhood,--his rose-white boyhood, as Lord Henry had once called it. He knew that he had tarnished himself, filled his mind with corruption, and given horror to his fancy; that he had been an evil influence to others, and had experienced a terrible joy in being so; and that of the lives that had crossed his own it had been the fairest and the most full of promise that he had brought to shame. But was it all irretrievable? Was there no hope for him?

Was it really true that one could never change? He felt a deep yearning for the innocent purity of his youth—his rose-white youth, as Lord Henry had once described it. He knew that he had sullied himself, filled his mind with corruption, and filled his imagination with horror; that he had been a negative influence on others, and he had taken a twisted joy in being so; and that among the lives that had intersected with his own, it was the most beautiful and promising one that he had led to shame. But was it all beyond repair? Was there no hope for him?

It was better not to think of the past. Nothing could alter that. It was of himself, and of his own future, that he had to think. Alan Campbell had shot himself one night in his laboratory, but had not revealed the secret that he had been forced to know. The excitement, such as it was, over Basil Hallward's disappearance would soon pass away. It was already waning. He was perfectly safe there. Nor, indeed, was it the death of Basil Hallward that weighed most upon his mind. It was the living death of his own soul that troubled him. Basil had painted the portrait that had marred his life. He could not forgive him that. It was the portrait that had done everything. Basil had said things to him that were unbearable, and that he had yet borne with patience. The murder had been simply the madness of a moment. As for Alan Campbell, his suicide had been his own act. He had chosen to do it. It was nothing to him.

It was best not to think about the past. Nothing could change that. He needed to focus on himself and his own future. Alan Campbell had shot himself one night in his lab but hadn’t revealed the secret he had been forced to know. The excitement—whatever little there was—over Basil Hallward's disappearance would fade soon. It was already dying down. He felt perfectly safe there. In fact, it wasn't Basil Hallward's death that weighed most heavily on his mind. It was the living death of his own soul that troubled him. Basil had painted the portrait that had ruined his life. He couldn’t forgive him for that. The portrait had changed everything. Basil had said things to him that were unbearable, and yet he had endured them with patience. The murder had been just a moment of madness. As for Alan Campbell, his suicide was his own choice. He had decided to do it. It meant nothing to him.

A new life! That was what he wanted. That was what he was waiting for. Surely he had begun it already. He had spared one innocent thing, at any rate. He would never again tempt innocence. He would be good.

A new life! That’s what he wanted. That’s what he was waiting for. He must have already started it. He had saved at least one innocent thing. He would never again put innocence at risk. He would be good.

As he thought of Hetty Merton, he began to wonder if the portrait in the locked room had changed. Surely it was not still so horrible as it had been? Perhaps if his life became pure, he would be able to expel every sign of evil passion from the face. Perhaps the signs of evil had already gone away. He would go and look.

As he thought about Hetty Merton, he started to wonder if the portrait in the locked room had changed. Surely it wasn't still as terrible as it had been? Maybe if his life became pure, he would be able to remove any sign of evil passion from the face. Perhaps the signs of evil had already disappeared. He would go and check.

He took the lamp from the table and crept up-stairs. As he unlocked the door, a smile of joy flitted across his young face and [99] lingered for a moment about his lips. Yes, he would be good, and the hideous thing that he had hidden away would no longer be a terror to him. He felt as if the load had been lifted from him already.

He picked up the lamp from the table and quietly went upstairs. As he unlocked the door, a joyful smile crossed his young face and stayed on his lips for a moment. Yes, he would behave, and the awful thing he had hidden away wouldn’t scare him anymore. He felt like a weight had already been lifted off his shoulders.

He went in quietly, locking the door behind him, as was his custom, and dragged the purple hanging from the portrait. A cry of pain and indignation broke from him. He could see no change, unless that in the eyes there was a look of cunning, and in the mouth the curved wrinkle of the hypocrite. The thing was still loathsome,--more loathsome, if possible, than before,--and the scarlet dew that spotted the hand seemed brighter, and more like blood newly spilt.

He entered quietly, locking the door behind him, as he usually did, and pulled the purple fabric away from the portrait. A cry of pain and anger escaped him. He couldn’t see any change, except for a look of cunning in the eyes and the twisted smirk of a hypocrite on the mouth. The figure was still disgusting—more disgusting, if that was even possible, than before—and the red spots on the hand looked brighter, resembling freshly spilled blood.

Had it been merely vanity that had made him do his one good deed? Or the desire of a new sensation, as Lord Henry had hinted, with his mocking laugh? Or that passion to act a part that sometimes makes us do things finer than we are ourselves? Or, perhaps, all these?

Had it just been vanity that drove him to do his one good deed? Or the desire for a new experience, like Lord Henry suggested with his mocking laugh? Or that urge to play a role that sometimes leads us to do things that are better than who we really are? Or maybe it was a mix of all of these?

Why was the red stain larger than it had been? It seemed to have crept like a horrible disease over the wrinkled fingers. There was blood on the painted feet, as though the thing had dripped,--blood even on the hand that had not held the knife.

Why was the red stain bigger than before? It looked like it had spread like a terrible disease over the wrinkled fingers. There was blood on the painted feet, as if it had dripped—blood even on the hand that hadn't held the knife.

Confess? Did it mean that he was to confess? To give himself up, and be put to death? He laughed. He felt that the idea was monstrous. Besides, who would believe him, even if he did confess? There was no trace of the murdered man anywhere. Everything belonging to him had been destroyed. He himself had burned what had been below-stairs. The world would simply say he was mad. They would shut him up if he persisted in his story.

Confess? Did that mean he had to confess? To give himself up and be executed? He laughed. The thought seemed absurd. Besides, who would believe him, even if he did confess? There was no evidence of the murdered man anywhere. Everything that was his had been destroyed. He had burned what was downstairs himself. The world would just say he was crazy. They would lock him away if he kept insisting on his story.

Yet it was his duty to confess, to suffer public shame, and to make public atonement. There was a God who called upon men to tell their sins to earth as well as to heaven. Nothing that he could do would cleanse him till he had told his own sin. His sin? He shrugged his shoulders. The death of Basil Hallward seemed very little to him. He was thinking of Hetty Merton.

Yet it was his responsibility to confess, to endure public shame, and to make a public apology. There was a God who expected people to admit their sins to both the earth and heaven. Nothing he did would cleanse him until he acknowledged his own sin. His sin? He shrugged his shoulders. The death of Basil Hallward felt insignificant to him. He was thinking of Hetty Merton.

It was an unjust mirror, this mirror of his soul that he was looking at. Vanity? Curiosity? Hypocrisy? Had there been nothing more in his renunciation than that? There had been something more. At least he thought so. But who could tell?

It was a distorted reflection, this mirror of his soul that he was staring into. Vanity? Curiosity? Hypocrisy? Was there really nothing deeper in his giving up than that? There was something more. At least he believed that. But who could know for sure?

And this murder,--was it to dog him all his life? Was he never to get rid of the past? Was he really to confess? No. There was only one bit of evidence left against him. The picture itself,--that was evidence.

And this murder—was it going to haunt him for the rest of his life? Was he ever going to escape the past? Was he really going to confess? No. There was only one piece of evidence left against him. The picture itself—that was evidence.

He would destroy it. Why had he kept it so long? It had given him pleasure once to watch it changing and growing old. Of late he had felt no such pleasure. It had kept him awake at night. When he had been away, he had been filled with terror lest other eyes should look upon it. It had brought melancholy across his passions. Its mere memory had marred many moments of joy. It had been like conscience to him. Yes, it had been conscience. He would destroy it.

He would get rid of it. Why had he held onto it for so long? It used to bring him joy to see it change and age. Recently, though, he felt no joy at all. It had kept him up at night. When he was away, he was terrified that others might see it. It had cast a shadow over his emotions. Just thinking about it had spoiled many happy moments. It had been like a guilty conscience to him. Yes, it had been his conscience. He would destroy it.

He looked round, and saw the knife that had stabbed Basil Hallward. He had cleaned it many times, till there was no stain left upon it. It was bright, and glistened. As it had killed the painter, so it [100] would kill the painter's work, and all that that meant. It would kill the past, and when that was dead he would be free. He seized it, and stabbed the canvas with it, ripping the thing right up from top to bottom.

He looked around and saw the knife that had stabbed Basil Hallward. He had cleaned it so many times that there was no stain left on it. It was shiny and gleaming. Just as it had killed the painter, it would also destroy the painter's work and everything it represented. It would wipe out the past, and once that was gone, he would be free. He grabbed it and stabbed the canvas, tearing it apart from top to bottom.

There was a cry heard, and a crash. The cry was so horrible in its agony that the frightened servants woke, and crept out of their rooms. Two gentlemen, who were passing in the Square below, stopped, and looked up at the great house. They walked on till they met a policeman, and brought him back. The man rang the bell several times, but there was no answer. The house was all dark, except for a light in one of the top windows. After a time, he went away, and stood in the portico of the next house and watched.

A scream pierced the night, followed by a loud crash. The scream was so filled with agony that the scared servants awoke and quietly left their rooms. Two men walking in the square below stopped and stared up at the large house. They continued until they encountered a police officer and brought him back with them. The officer rang the bell several times, but there was no response. The house was dark except for a light in one of the top windows. After a while, he left and stood in the entrance of the neighboring house, keeping watch.

"Whose house is that, constable?" asked the elder of the two gentlemen.

"Whose house is that, officer?" asked the older of the two men.

"Mr. Dorian Gray's, sir," answered the policeman.

"Mr. Dorian Gray's, sir," replied the policeman.

They looked at each other, as they walked away, and sneered. One of them was Sir Henry Ashton's uncle.

They glanced at each other as they walked away and smirked. One of them was Sir Henry Ashton's uncle.

Inside, in the servants' part of the house, the half-clad domestics were talking in low whispers to each other. Old Mrs. Leaf was crying, and wringing her hands. Francis was as pale as death.

Inside, in the servants' area of the house, the partially dressed staff were quietly chatting among themselves. Old Mrs. Leaf was crying and wringing her hands. Francis looked as pale as a ghost.

After about a quarter of an hour, he got the coachman and one of the footmen and crept up-stairs. They knocked, but there was no reply. They called out. Everything was still. Finally, after vainly trying to force the door, they got on the roof, and dropped down on to the balcony. The windows yielded easily: the bolts were old.

After about fifteen minutes, he got the driver and one of the footmen and sneaked upstairs. They knocked, but there was no answer. They shouted out. Everything was quiet. Finally, after unsuccessfully trying to force the door, they went up to the roof and dropped down onto the balcony. The windows opened easily; the bolts were old.

When they entered, they found hanging upon the wall a splendid portrait of their master as they had last seen him, in all the wonder of his exquisite youth and beauty. Lying on the floor was a dead man, in evening dress, with a knife in his heart. He was withered, wrinkled, and loathsome of visage. It was not till they had examined the rings that they recognized who it was.

When they walked in, they saw a beautiful portrait of their master on the wall, just as they had last remembered him in all his youthful charm and attractiveness. On the floor was a dead man in formal wear, with a knife in his heart. He looked old, wrinkled, and hideous. It wasn't until they looked at the rings that they realized who he was.






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