This is a modern-English version of Frankenstein; Or, The Modern Prometheus, originally written by Shelley, Mary Wollstonecraft.
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[Transcriber’s Note: This text was produced from a photo-reprint of the 1818 edition.]
[Transcriber’s Note: This text was produced from a photo-reprint of the 1818 edition.]

FRANKENSTEIN;
or,
THE MODERN PROMETHEUS.
IN THREE VOLUMES.
VOL. I.
IN THREE VOLUMES.
VOL. 1.
Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay
To mould me man? Did I solicit thee
From darkness to promote me?——
Did I ask you, Creator, to shape me from my clay
Into a man? Did I call on you
From the darkness to bring me to life?——
Paradise Lost.
Paradise Lost.
London:
PRINTED FOR
LACKINGTON, HUGHES, HARDING, MAVOR, & JONES,
FINSBURY SQUARE.
London:
PRINTED FOR
LACKINGTON, HUGHES, HARDING, MAVOR, & JONES,
FINSBURY SQUARE.
1818.
1818.
TO
WILLIAM GODWIN,
AUTHOR OF POLITICAL JUSTICE, CALEB WILLIAMS, &c.
THESE VOLUMES
Are respectfully inscribed
BY
THE AUTHOR.
TO
WILLIAM GODWIN,
AUTHOR OF POLITICAL JUSTICE, CALEB WILLIAMS, etc.
THESE VOLUMES
Are respectfully dedicated
BY
THE AUTHOR.
PREFACE.
The event on which this fiction is founded has been supposed, by Dr. Darwin, and some of the physiological writers of Germany, as not of impossible occurrence. I shall not be supposed as according the remotest degree of serious faith to such an imagination; yet, in assuming it as the basis of a work of fancy, I have not considered myself as merely weaving a series of supernatural terrors. The event on which the interest of the story depends is exempt from the disadvantages of a mere tale of spectres or enchantment. It was recommended by the novelty of the situations which it developes; and, however impossible as a physical fact, affords a point of view to the imagination for the delineating of human passions more comprehensive and commanding than any which the ordinary relations of existing events can yield.
The event that this story is based on has been suggested by Dr. Darwin and some physiological writers in Germany as possibly happening. I don’t take this idea seriously at all; however, by using it as the foundation for a work of fiction, I’m not just stitching together a series of supernatural scares. The event that drives the story is not just a simple tale of ghosts or magic. It’s intriguing because of the unique situations it creates, and even though it may be impossible as a physical reality, it gives us a way to explore human emotions in a broader and more powerful manner than what ordinary events typically allow.
I have thus endeavoured to preserve the truth of the elementary principles of human nature, while I have not scrupled to innovate upon their combinations. The Iliad, the tragic poetry of Greece,—Shakespeare, in the Tempest and Midsummer Night’s Dream,—and most especially Milton, in Paradise Lost, conform to this rule; and the most humble novelist, who seeks to confer or receive amusement from his labours, may, without presumption, apply to prose fiction a licence, or rather a rule, from the adoption of which so many exquisite combinations of human feeling have resulted in the highest specimens of poetry.
I have tried to keep the truth of the basic principles of human nature, while also not hesitating to change how they are combined. The Iliad, the tragic poetry of Greece—Shakespeare, in Tempest and Midsummer Night’s Dream—and especially Milton, in Paradise Lost, follow this guideline; and even the simplest novelist, who wants to bring or enjoy entertainment from their work, can rightfully apply to prose fiction a freedom, or better yet, a principle, that has led to so many beautiful combinations of human emotion, resulting in the finest examples of poetry.
The circumstance on which my story rests was suggested in casual conversation. It was commenced, partly as a source of amusement, and partly as an expedient for exercising any untried resources of mind. Other motives were mingled with these, as the work proceeded. I am by no means indifferent to the manner in which whatever moral tendencies exist in the sentiments or characters it contains shall affect the reader; yet my chief concern in this respect has been limited to the avoiding of the enervating effects of the novels of the present day, and to the exhibitions of the amiableness of domestic affection, and the excellence of universal virtue. The opinions which naturally spring from the character and situation of the hero are by no means to be conceived as existing always in my own conviction; nor is any inference justly to be drawn from the following pages as prejudicing any philosophical doctrine of whatever kind.
The story I’m about to tell started from a casual conversation. It began partly for fun and partly as a way to explore new ideas. As I worked on it, other motivations came into play. I care about how the values and characters in this story affect the reader; however, my main focus has been on avoiding the draining effects of contemporary novels and highlighting the beauty of family love and the greatness of universal goodness. The opinions that arise from the hero’s character and situation shouldn’t be assumed as my own beliefs; nor should any conclusions drawn from the following pages be taken as reflecting any particular philosophical doctrine.
It is a subject also of additional interest to the author, that this story was begun in the majestic region where the scene is principally laid, and in society which cannot cease to be regretted. I passed the summer of 1816 in the environs of Geneva. The season was cold and rainy, and in the evenings we crowded around a blazing wood fire, and occasionally amused ourselves with some German stories of ghosts, which happened to fall into our hands. These tales excited in us a playful desire of imitation. Two other friends (a tale from the pen of one of whom would be far more acceptable to the public than any thing I can ever hope to produce) and myself agreed to write each a story, founded on some supernatural occurrence.
It's also of particular interest to me that this story started in the stunning area where the main events take place, among a society that we can’t help but miss. I spent the summer of 1816 around Geneva. The season was chilly and rainy, and in the evenings, we would gather around a warm wood fire and occasionally entertain ourselves with some German ghost stories we had come across. These tales sparked in us a playful urge to create something similar. Two other friends (one of whom could tell a story that would be far more appealing to the public than anything I could ever hope to write) and I decided to each write a story based on some supernatural event.
The weather, however, suddenly became serene; and my two friends left me on a journey among the Alps, and lost, in the magnificent scenes which they present, all memory of their ghostly visions. The following tale is the only one which has been completed.
The weather suddenly turned calm, and my two friends set off on a journey through the Alps, completely forgetting their eerie visions amidst the stunning scenery. This story is the only one that has been finished.
FRANKENSTEIN;
OR, THE
MODERN PROMETHEUS.
LETTER I.
To Mrs. Saville, England.
To Mrs. Saville, England.
St. Petersburgh, Dec. 11th, 17—.
St. Petersburg, Dec. 11, 17—.
You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has accompanied the commencement of an enterprise which you have regarded with such evil forebodings. I arrived here yesterday; and my first task is to assure my dear sister of my welfare, and increasing confidence in the success of my undertaking.
You’ll be glad to know that nothing disastrous has happened at the start of an endeavor you’ve been so worried about. I got here yesterday, and my first job is to reassure my dear sister that I’m doing well and becoming more confident about my chances of success.
I am already far north of London; and as I walk in the streets of Petersburgh, I feel a cold northern breeze play upon my cheeks, which braces my nerves, and fills me with delight. Do you understand this feeling? This breeze, which has travelled from the regions towards which I am advancing, gives me a foretaste of those icy climes. Inspirited by this wind of promise, my day dreams become more fervent and vivid. I try in vain to be persuaded that the pole is the seat of frost and desolation; it ever presents itself to my imagination as the region of beauty and delight. There, Margaret, the sun is for ever visible; its broad disk just skirting the horizon, and diffusing a perpetual splendour. There—for with your leave, my sister, I will put some trust in preceding navigators—there snow and frost are banished; and, sailing over a calm sea, we may be wafted to a land surpassing in wonders and in beauty every region hitherto discovered on the habitable globe. Its productions and features may be without example, as the phænomena of the heavenly bodies undoubtedly are in those undiscovered solitudes. What may not be expected in a country of eternal light? I may there discover the wondrous power which attracts the needle; and may regulate a thousand celestial observations, that require only this voyage to render their seeming eccentricities consistent for ever. I shall satiate my ardent curiosity with the sight of a part of the world never before visited, and may tread a land never before imprinted by the foot of man. These are my enticements, and they are sufficient to conquer all fear of danger or death, and to induce me to commence this laborious voyage with the joy a child feels when he embarks in a little boat, with his holiday mates, on an expedition of discovery up his native river. But, supposing all these conjectures to be false, you cannot contest the inestimable benefit which I shall confer on all mankind to the last generation, by discovering a passage near the pole to those countries, to reach which at present so many months are requisite; or by ascertaining the secret of the magnet, which, if at all possible, can only be effected by an undertaking such as mine.
I’m already far north of London, and as I walk through the streets of St. Petersburg, I can feel a cold northern breeze against my cheeks. It energizes my nerves and fills me with joy. Do you understand this feeling? This breeze, which has traveled from the regions I’m heading towards, gives me a taste of those icy lands. Inspired by this promising wind, my daydreams become more intense and vivid. I try in vain to convince myself that the pole is just a place of frost and emptiness; it always appears to me as a land of beauty and joy. There, Margaret, the sun is always shining, hovering just above the horizon and casting a constant glow. There—if you’ll permit me, my sister, to trust the reports of earlier explorers—there, snow and frost are absent; and sailing over a calm sea, we could be swept away to a land filled with wonders and more beauty than any previously discovered part of the world. Its landscapes and features may be unlike anything before, just as the phenomena of the stars certainly are in those undiscovered spaces. What could we not expect in a land of eternal light? I might discover the amazing force that draws the compass needle and be able to make sense of countless celestial observations that only this journey can clarify. I will satisfy my intense curiosity by seeing parts of the world never before visited and walk on land that has never been touched by human feet. These are my incentives, and they are enough to overcome any fear of danger or death, urging me to start this challenging voyage with the excitement a child feels when embarking on an adventure in a small boat with friends along his local river. But even if all these assumptions turn out to be wrong, you cannot deny the invaluable benefit I will bring to all humanity for generations to come by discovering a route near the pole to those regions that currently take so many months to reach; or by uncovering the mystery of magnetism, which, if at all possible, can only be accomplished through an endeavor like mine.
These reflections have dispelled the agitation with which I began my letter, and I feel my heart glow with an enthusiasm which elevates me to heaven; for nothing contributes so much to tranquillize the mind as a steady purpose,—a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye. This expedition has been the favourite dream of my early years. I have read with ardour the accounts of the various voyages which have been made in the prospect of arriving at the North Pacific Ocean through the seas which surround the pole. You may remember, that a history of all the voyages made for purposes of discovery composed the whole of our good uncle Thomas’s library. My education was neglected, yet I was passionately fond of reading. These volumes were my study day and night, and my familiarity with them increased that regret which I had felt, as a child, on learning that my father’s dying injunction had forbidden my uncle to allow me to embark in a sea-faring life.
These thoughts have calmed the excitement I felt when I started this letter, and my heart is now filled with an enthusiasm that lifts me up to new heights; for nothing soothes the mind like having a clear purpose—a goal for the soul to focus on intellectually. This journey has been the dream of my youth. I have eagerly read about the various expeditions aimed at reaching the North Pacific Ocean via the seas that surround the pole. You probably remember that our kind uncle Thomas’s entire library was made up of accounts of these discovery voyages. Although my education was overlooked, I had a deep passion for reading. I spent my days and nights studying those volumes, and my familiarity with them only deepened the regret I felt as a child when I learned that my father’s last request had prevented my uncle from letting me pursue a life at sea.
These visions faded when I perused, for the first time, those poets whose effusions entranced my soul, and lifted it to heaven. I also became a poet, and for one year lived in a Paradise of my own creation; I imagined that I also might obtain a niche in the temple where the names of Homer and Shakespeare are consecrated. You are well acquainted with my failure, and how heavily I bore the disappointment. But just at that time I inherited the fortune of my cousin, and my thoughts were turned into the channel of their earlier bent.
These dreams disappeared when I read, for the first time, those poets whose words captivated my soul and lifted it to the heavens. I also became a poet and spent a year in a Paradise of my own making; I believed I too could earn a spot alongside the names of Homer and Shakespeare, which are revered in the temple of literature. You know well about my failure and how deeply I felt the disappointment. But then, at that moment, I inherited my cousin's fortune, and my thoughts returned to their original direction.
Six years have passed since I resolved on my present undertaking. I can, even now, remember the hour from which I dedicated myself to this great enterprise. I commenced by inuring my body to hardship. I accompanied the whale-fishers on several expeditions to the North Sea; I voluntarily endured cold, famine, thirst, and want of sleep; I often worked harder than the common sailors during the day, and devoted my nights to the study of mathematics, the theory of medicine, and those branches of physical science from which a naval adventurer might derive the greatest practical advantage. Twice I actually hired myself as an under-mate in a Greenland whaler, and acquitted myself to admiration. I must own I felt a little proud, when my captain offered me the second dignity in the vessel, and entreated me to remain with the greatest earnestness; so valuable did he consider my services.
Six years have gone by since I committed to my current project. Even now, I can remember the moment I dedicated myself to this significant undertaking. I started by toughening my body to endure hardship. I joined the whale fishers on several trips to the North Sea; I willingly faced cold, hunger, thirst, and lack of sleep; I often worked harder than the regular sailors during the day and spent my nights studying mathematics, medicine, and the areas of physical science that would give a naval adventurer the most practical benefits. Twice, I actually took a job as a junior mate on a Greenland whaler, and I performed exceptionally well. I must admit, I felt a bit proud when my captain offered me the second-highest position on the ship and earnestly urged me to stay; he valued my contributions greatly.
And now, dear Margaret, do I not deserve to accomplish some great purpose. My life might have been passed in ease and luxury; but I preferred glory to every enticement that wealth placed in my path. Oh, that some encouraging voice would answer in the affirmative! My courage and my resolution is firm; but my hopes fluctuate, and my spirits are often depressed. I am about to proceed on a long and difficult voyage; the emergencies of which will demand all my fortitude: I am required not only to raise the spirits of others, but sometimes to sustain my own, when their’s are failing.
And now, dear Margaret, don’t I deserve to achieve something significant? I could have lived a life of comfort and luxury, but I chose glory over every temptation that wealth offered me. Oh, how I wish for some encouraging voice to affirm me! My courage and determination are strong, but my hopes often waver, and my spirits can be low. I’m about to embark on a long and challenging journey, where I’ll need all my strength: I must not only lift others' spirits but also keep my own up when theirs are fading.
This is the most favourable period for travelling in Russia. They fly quickly over the snow in their sledges; the motion is pleasant, and, in my opinion, far more agreeable than that of an English stage-coach. The cold is not excessive, if you are wrapt in furs, a dress which I have already adopted; for there is a great difference between walking the deck and remaining seated motionless for hours, when no exercise prevents the blood from actually freezing in your veins. I have no ambition to lose my life on the post-road between St. Petersburgh and Archangel.
This is the best time to travel in Russia. They glide quickly over the snow in their sleds; the movement is enjoyable and, in my opinion, much better than that of an English stagecoach. The cold isn't too extreme if you're bundled up in furs, which I've already started wearing; because there’s a big difference between walking on deck and sitting still for hours, when no movement keeps your blood from actually freezing in your veins. I have no desire to lose my life on the road between St. Petersburg and Archangel.
I shall depart for the latter town in a fortnight or three weeks; and my intention is to hire a ship there, which can easily be done by paying the insurance for the owner, and to engage as many sailors as I think necessary among those who are accustomed to the whale-fishing. I do not intend to sail until the month of June: and when shall I return? Ah, dear sister, how can I answer this question? If I succeed, many, many months, perhaps years, will pass before you and I may meet. If I fail, you will see me again soon, or never.
I plan to leave for that town in about two or three weeks. My goal is to hire a ship there, which is easy to do by covering the owner's insurance, and to hire as many sailors as I think I’ll need from those experienced in whale fishing. I don’t intend to set sail until June. But when will I come back? Oh, dear sister, how can I answer that? If I’m successful, it could be many months, maybe even years, before we meet again. If I don’t succeed, you’ll either see me again soon or never.
Farewell, my dear, excellent, Margaret. Heaven shower down blessings on you, and save me, that I may again and again testify my gratitude for all your love and kindness.
Farewell, my dear, wonderful Margaret. May heaven shower you with blessings, and may I be saved so I can continually show my gratitude for all your love and kindness.
Your affectionate brother,
Your loving brother,
R. Walton.
R. Walton.
LETTER II.
To Mrs. Saville, England.
To Mrs. Saville, England.
Archangel, 28th March, 17—.
Archangel, March 28, 17—.
How slowly the time passes here, encompassed as I am by frost and snow; yet a second step is taken towards my enterprise. I have hired a vessel, and am occupied in collecting my sailors; those whom I have already engaged appear to be men on whom I can depend, and are certainly possessed of dauntless courage.
How slowly time passes here, surrounded by frost and snow; yet I've made another step towards my goal. I've hired a ship and am busy gathering my crew; the ones I've already secured seem reliable and definitely have fearless courage.
But I have one want which I have never yet been able to satisfy; and the absence of the object of which I now feel as a most severe evil. I have no friend, Margaret: when I am glowing with the enthusiasm of success, there will be none to participate my joy; if I am assailed by disappointment, no one will endeavour to sustain me in dejection. I shall commit my thoughts to paper, it is true; but that is a poor medium for the communication of feeling. I desire the company of a man who could sympathize with me; whose eyes would reply to mine. You may deem me romantic, my dear sister, but I bitterly feel the want of a friend. I have no one near me, gentle yet courageous, possessed of a cultivated as well as of a capacious mind, whose tastes are like my own, to approve or amend my plans. How would such a friend repair the faults of your poor brother! I am too ardent in execution, and too impatient of difficulties. But it is a still greater evil to me that I am self-educated: for the first fourteen years of my life I ran wild on a common, and read nothing but our uncle Thomas’s books of voyages. At that age I became acquainted with the celebrated poets of our own country; but it was only when it had ceased to be in my power to derive its most important benefits from such a conviction, that I perceived the necessity of becoming acquainted with more languages than that of my native country. Now I am twenty-eight, and am in reality more illiterate than many school-boys of fifteen. It is true that I have thought more, and that my day dreams are more extended and magnificent; but they want (as the painters call it) keeping; and I greatly need a friend who would have sense enough not to despise me as romantic, and affection enough for me to endeavour to regulate my mind.
But there's one thing I really want that I’ve never been able to fulfill, and the lack of it feels like a serious burden. I have no friend, Margaret: when I'm filled with the excitement of success, there’s no one to share my joy; if I'm faced with disappointment, no one will try to lift my spirits. I know I can write my thoughts down, but that’s a poor substitute for sharing feelings. I long for the company of someone who could empathize with me; whose eyes would mirror mine. You might think I’m being overly sentimental, dear sister, but I genuinely feel the absence of a friend. I don't have anyone close to me who is both kind and brave, with a well-rounded as well as a deep intellect, whose tastes align with mine, to validate or refine my ideas. How much such a friend could help correct the flaws of your poor brother! I'm too eager to act and too impatient with obstacles. An even bigger problem for me is that I’m self-taught: for the first fourteen years of my life, I was just roaming around and only read our uncle Thomas's travel books. It was at that age that I first discovered the famous poets of our country; but it was only when I could no longer gain the most valuable insights from that realization that I understood the need to learn more languages than just my own. Now I’m twenty-eight, and honestly, I’m more uneducated than many fifteen-year-old schoolboys. It’s true that I’ve thought more deeply and that my daydreams are broader and more grand, but they lack what artists call keeping; and I really need a friend who would be wise enough not to dismiss me as just romantic, and compassionate enough to help me organize my thoughts.
Well, these are useless complaints; I shall certainly find no friend on the wide ocean, nor even here in Archangel, among merchants and seamen. Yet some feelings, unallied to the dross of human nature, beat even in these rugged bosoms. My lieutenant, for instance, is a man of wonderful courage and enterprise; he is madly desirous of glory. He is an Englishman, and in the midst of national and professional prejudices, unsoftened by cultivation, retains some of the noblest endowments of humanity. I first became acquainted with him on board a whale vessel: finding that he was unemployed in this city, I easily engaged him to assist in my enterprise.
Well, these complaints are pointless; I'll definitely find no friend on the vast ocean, nor even here in Archangel, among traders and sailors. Still, there are some feelings, unrelated to the worst of human nature, that exist even in these tough hearts. My lieutenant, for example, is a man of incredible bravery and ambition; he desperately craves glory. He’s English, and despite national and professional biases, untouched by refinement, he possesses some of the finest qualities of humanity. I first met him on board a whaling ship: discovering that he was not working in this city, I easily got him to help with my venture.
The master is a person of an excellent disposition, and is remarkable in the ship for his gentleness, and the mildness of his discipline. He is, indeed, of so amiable a nature, that he will not hunt (a favourite, and almost the only amusement here), because he cannot endure to spill blood. He is, moreover, heroically generous. Some years ago he loved a young Russian lady, of moderate fortune; and having amassed a considerable sum in prize-money, the father of the girl consented to the match. He saw his mistress once before the destined ceremony; but she was bathed in tears, and, throwing herself at his feet, entreated him to spare her, confessing at the same time that she loved another, but that he was poor, and that her father would never consent to the union. My generous friend reassured the suppliant, and on being informed of the name of her lover instantly abandoned his pursuit. He had already bought a farm with his money, on which he had designed to pass the remainder of his life; but he bestowed the whole on his rival, together with the remains of his prize-money to purchase stock, and then himself solicited the young woman’s father to consent to her marriage with her lover. But the old man decidedly refused, thinking himself bound in honour to my friend; who, when he found the father inexorable, quitted his country, nor returned until he heard that his former mistress was married according to her inclinations. “What a noble fellow!” you will exclaim. He is so; but then he has passed all his life on board a vessel, and has scarcely an idea beyond the rope and the shroud.
The captain is a really good guy and stands out on the ship for his kindness and gentle approach to leadership. He’s so nice that he won’t go hunting, which is a popular pastime here, because he can’t bear the thought of hurting animals. He’s also incredibly generous. A few years back, he fell for a young Russian woman from a modest background. After he earned a good amount of prize money, her father agreed to the engagement. He met her once before the wedding, but she was in tears, begging him to let her go. She admitted that she loved someone else, but he was poor, and her father would never accept that match. My generous friend comforted her, and as soon as he learned the name of her true love, he backed off. He had already purchased a farm with his money, planning to spend his life there, but he gave it all to her lover, along with the rest of his prize money to help him start a new life. Then he went to her father to ask for permission to marry her lover. But the old man firmly refused, feeling a sense of duty to my friend. When my friend realized the father wouldn’t change his mind, he left the country and didn’t return until he heard that his former love had married the man she really wanted. “What an amazing guy!” you might say. He is, but he’s spent his whole life on a ship and doesn’t know much beyond ropes and sails.
But do not suppose that, because I complain a little, or because I can conceive a consolation for my toils which I may never know, that I am wavering in my resolutions. Those are as fixed as fate; and my voyage is only now delayed until the weather shall permit my embarkation. The winter has been dreadfully severe; but the spring promises well, and it is considered as a remarkably early season; so that, perhaps, I may sail sooner than I expected. I shall do nothing rashly; you know me sufficiently to confide in my prudence and considerateness whenever the safety of others is committed to my care.
But don't think that just because I complain a bit or because I can imagine a comfort for my struggles that I’m wavering in my resolve. My decisions are as firm as ever; right now my journey is just on hold until the weather allows me to set sail. The winter has been brutally harsh, but spring is looking promising, and it’s considered a particularly early season, so I might be able to sail sooner than I thought. I won’t do anything recklessly; you know me well enough to trust in my carefulness and thoughtfulness whenever the safety of others is in my hands.
I cannot describe to you my sensations on the near prospect of my undertaking. It is impossible to communicate to you a conception of the trembling sensation, half pleasurable and half fearful, with which I am preparing to depart. I am going to unexplored regions, to “the land of mist and snow;” but I shall kill no albatross, therefore do not be alarmed for my safety.
I can’t even begin to explain how I feel about the upcoming adventure. It’s hard to convey the mix of excitement and fear that I’m experiencing as I get ready to leave. I’m heading into unknown territories, to “the land of mist and snow;” but I won’t be harming any albatrosses, so please don’t worry about my safety.
Shall I meet you again, after having traversed immense seas, and returned by the most southern cape of Africa or America? I dare not expect such success, yet I cannot bear to look on the reverse of the picture. Continue to write to me by every opportunity: I may receive your letters (though the chance is very doubtful) on some occasions when I need them most to support my spirits. I love you very tenderly. Remember me with affection, should you never hear from me again.
Shall I see you again after crossing vast oceans and coming back around the southern tip of Africa or America? I can't hope for that to happen, but I can’t stand to think of the opposite. Please keep writing to me whenever you can; I might receive your letters (even though it’s unlikely) at moments when I need them most to lift my spirits. I care for you deeply. Remember me fondly, even if you never hear from me again.
Your affectionate brother,
Your loving brother,
Robert Walton.
Robert Walton.
LETTER III.
To Mrs. Saville, England.
To Mrs. Saville, England.
July 7th, 17—.
July 7, 1717.
My Dear Sister,
My Dear Sister,
I write a few lines in haste, to say that I am safe, and well advanced on my voyage. This letter will reach England by a merchant-man now on its homeward voyage from Archangel; more fortunate than I, who may not see my native land, perhaps, for many years. I am, however, in good spirits: my men are bold, and apparently firm of purpose; nor do the floating sheets of ice that continually pass us, indicating the dangers of the region towards which we are advancing, appear to dismay them. We have already reached a very high latitude; but it is the height of summer, and although not so warm as in England, the southern gales, which blow us speedily towards those shores which I so ardently desire to attain, breathe a degree of renovating warmth which I had not expected.
I'm writing a quick note to let you know that I’m safe and making good progress on my journey. This letter will reach England via a merchant ship that’s currently on its way back from Archangel; it’s luckier than I am, since I might not see my home country for many years. However, I’m in good spirits: my crew is brave and seems determined, and the floating sheets of ice that keep drifting by us—showing the dangers ahead—don’t seem to scare them at all. We’ve already reached a very high latitude; it’s the peak of summer, and while it’s not as warm as in England, the southern winds pushing us quickly toward the shores I long to reach bring a refreshing warmth that I didn’t expect.
No incidents have hitherto befallen us, that would make a figure in a letter. One or two stiff gales, and the breaking of a mast, are accidents which experienced navigators scarcely remember to record; and I shall be well content, if nothing worse happen to us during our voyage.
No major incidents have happened to us so far that would be noteworthy in a letter. A couple of strong winds and a broken mast are accidents that seasoned sailors hardly bother to note down; and I would be perfectly happy if nothing worse happens to us during our journey.
Adieu, my dear Margaret. Be assured, that for my own sake, as well as your’s, I will not rashly encounter danger. I will be cool, persevering, and prudent.
Goodbye, my dear Margaret. Rest assured, for both our sakes, I won't recklessly put myself in danger. I will stay calm, determined, and careful.
Remember me to all my English friends.
Remember me to all my friends in England.
Most affectionately yours,
With love,
R. W.
R.W.
LETTER IV.
To Mrs. Saville, England.
To Mrs. Saville, England.
August 5th, 17—.
August 5, 17—.
So strange an accident has happened to us, that I cannot forbear recording it, although it is very probable that you will see me before these papers can come into your possession.
Such a strange accident has happened to us that I can't help but write it down, even though it's very likely that you'll see me before you actually get these papers.
Last Monday (July 31st), we were nearly surrounded by ice, which closed in the ship on all sides, scarcely leaving her the sea room in which she floated. Our situation was somewhat dangerous, especially as we were compassed round by a very thick fog. We accordingly lay to, hoping that some change would take place in the atmosphere and weather.
Last Monday (July 31st), we were almost completely surrounded by ice, which closed in on the ship from all sides, barely leaving us any space to float. Our situation was pretty risky, especially since we were surrounded by a very thick fog. So, we decided to stop, hoping that the weather and atmosphere would change.
About two o’clock the mist cleared away, and we beheld, stretched out in every direction, vast and irregular plains of ice, which seemed to have no end. Some of my comrades groaned, and my own mind began to grow watchful with anxious thoughts, when a strange sight suddenly attracted our attention, and diverted our solicitude from our own situation. We perceived a low carriage, fixed on a sledge and drawn by dogs, pass on towards the north, at the distance of half a mile: a being which had the shape of a man, but apparently of gigantic stature, sat in the sledge, and guided the dogs. We watched the rapid progress of the traveller with our telescopes, until he was lost among the distant inequalities of the ice.
About two o’clock, the mist cleared, and we saw vast, uneven plains of ice stretching out in every direction, seemingly endless. Some of my friends groaned, and I felt a sense of unease growing in my mind when a strange sight suddenly captured our attention and distracted us from our own predicament. We noticed a small carriage on a sled being pulled by dogs moving north about half a mile away: a figure that resembled a man, but was clearly of gigantic size, sat in the sled and controlled the dogs. We watched the swift movement of the traveler through our telescopes until he disappeared among the distant unevenness of the ice.
This appearance excited our unqualified wonder. We were, as we believed, many hundred miles from any land; but this apparition seemed to denote that it was not, in reality, so distant as we had supposed. Shut in, however, by ice, it was impossible to follow his track, which we had observed with the greatest attention.
This sight filled us with pure amazement. We thought we were hundreds of miles away from any land, but this figure suggested that it was actually not as far away as we believed. However, since we were trapped by ice, we couldn't follow his path, even though we had watched it closely.
About two hours after this occurrence, we heard the ground sea; and before night the ice broke, and freed our ship. We, however, lay to until the morning, fearing to encounter in the dark those large loose masses which float about after the breaking up of the ice. I profited of this time to rest for a few hours.
About two hours after this happened, we heard the ground sea, and before night, the ice broke and freed our ship. However, we remained stationary until morning, afraid to run into those large loose chunks that float around after the ice breaks apart. I took this time to rest for a few hours.
In the morning, however, as soon as it was light, I went upon deck, and found all the sailors busy on one side of the vessel, apparently talking to some one in the sea. It was, in fact, a sledge, like that we had seen before, which had drifted towards us in the night, on a large fragment of ice. Only one dog remained alive; but there was a human being within it, whom the sailors were persuading to enter the vessel. He was not, as the other traveller seemed to be, a savage inhabitant of some undiscovered island, but an European. When I appeared on deck, the master said, “Here is our captain, and he will not allow you to perish on the open sea.”
In the morning, as soon as it got light, I went on deck and found all the sailors busy on one side of the ship, seemingly talking to someone in the water. It was actually a sled, like the one we had seen before, that had drifted toward us during the night on a large chunk of ice. Only one dog was still alive, but there was a person inside it whom the sailors were trying to convince to come aboard. He wasn’t, like the other traveler seemed to be, a wild inhabitant of some undiscovered island, but a European. When I stepped onto the deck, the captain said, “Here’s our captain, and he won’t let you die out here in the open sea.”
On perceiving me, the stranger addressed me in English, although with a foreign accent. “Before I come on board your vessel,” said he, “will you have the kindness to inform me whither you are bound?”
Upon seeing me, the stranger spoke to me in English, but with a foreign accent. "Before I step onto your ship," he said, "could you please tell me where you’re headed?"
You may conceive my astonishment on hearing such a question addressed to me from a man on the brink of destruction, and to whom I should have supposed that my vessel would have been a resource which he would not have exchanged for the most precious wealth the earth can afford. I replied, however, that we were on a voyage of discovery towards the northern pole.
You can imagine my surprise when a man on the verge of destruction asked me such a question, someone I would have thought would see my ship as a resource more valuable than any treasure on Earth. I answered that we were on a journey of exploration toward the North Pole.
Upon hearing this he appeared satisfied, and consented to come on board. Good God! Margaret, if you had seen the man who thus capitulated for his safety, your surprise would have been boundless. His limbs were nearly frozen, and his body dreadfully emaciated by fatigue and suffering. I never saw a man in so wretched a condition. We attempted to carry him into the cabin; but as soon as he had quitted the fresh air, he fainted. We accordingly brought him back to the deck, and restored him to animation by rubbing him with brandy, and forcing him to swallow a small quantity. As soon as he shewed signs of life, we wrapped him up in blankets, and placed him near the chimney of the kitchen-stove. By slow degrees he recovered, and ate a little soup, which restored him wonderfully.
Upon hearing this, he looked satisfied and agreed to come on board. Good God! Margaret, if you had seen the man who surrendered for his safety, you would have been completely shocked. His limbs were nearly frozen, and his body was dreadfully thin from exhaustion and suffering. I had never seen someone in such a miserable condition. We tried to carry him into the cabin, but as soon as he left the fresh air, he fainted. So, we brought him back to the deck and brought him back to consciousness by rubbing him with brandy and forcing him to drink a small amount. As soon as he showed signs of life, we wrapped him in blankets and placed him near the kitchen stove. Gradually, he started to recover and ate a little soup, which helped him a lot.
Two days passed in this manner before he was able to speak; and I often feared that his sufferings had deprived him of understanding. When he had in some measure recovered, I removed him to my own cabin, and attended on him as much as my duty would permit. I never saw a more interesting creature: his eyes have generally an expression of wildness, and even madness; but there are moments when, if any one performs an act of kindness towards him, or does him any the most trifling service, his whole countenance is lighted up, as it were, with a beam of benevolence and sweetness that I never saw equalled. But he is generally melancholy and despairing; and sometimes he gnashes his teeth, as if impatient of the weight of woes that oppresses him.
Two days went by like this before he was able to speak, and I often worried that his suffering had taken away his sanity. When he had recovered enough, I brought him to my cabin and cared for him as much as my duties allowed. I had never seen a more fascinating person: his eyes usually have a look of wildness, even madness; but there are times when, if someone shows him an act of kindness or does even the smallest favor for him, his whole face lights up with a glow of kindness and sweetness that I’ve never seen matched. However, he is mostly sad and hopeless; and sometimes he grinds his teeth, as if he’s frustrated by the heavy burden of grief he carries.
When my guest was a little recovered, I had great trouble to keep off the men, who wished to ask him a thousand questions; but I would not allow him to be tormented by their idle curiosity, in a state of body and mind whose restoration evidently depended upon entire repose. Once, however, the lieutenant asked, Why he had come so far upon the ice in so strange a vehicle?
When my guest started to feel a bit better, I had a tough time keeping the men away, as they wanted to bombard him with a million questions. I refused to let them bother him with their pointless curiosity, especially since his recovery clearly depended on complete rest. But then the lieutenant asked why he had traveled so far on the ice in such an unusual vehicle.
His countenance instantly assumed an aspect of the deepest gloom; and he replied, “To seek one who fled from me.”
His face immediately took on a look of deep sadness, and he replied, “I’m trying to find someone who ran away from me.”
“And did the man whom you pursued travel in the same fashion?”
"And did the guy you were chasing travel in the same way?"
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“Then I fancy we have seen him; for, the day before we picked you up, we saw some dogs drawing a sledge, with a man in it, across the ice.”
“Then I think we’ve seen him; because the day before we picked you up, we saw some dogs pulling a sled, with a man in it, across the ice.”
This aroused the stranger’s attention; and he asked a multitude of questions concerning the route which the dæmon, as he called him, had pursued. Soon after, when he was alone with me, he said, “I have, doubtless, excited your curiosity, as well as that of these good people; but you are too considerate to make inquiries.”
This caught the stranger's attention, and he asked a lot of questions about the path that the demon, as he referred to him, had taken. Shortly after, when we were alone, he said, “I must have piqued your curiosity, as well as that of these good folks; but you’re too thoughtful to ask questions.”
“Certainly; it would indeed be very impertinent and inhuman in me to trouble you with any inquisitiveness of mine.”
"Of course; it would really be quite rude and inhumane of me to bother you with any of my questions."
“And yet you rescued me from a strange and perilous situation; you have benevolently restored me to life.”
“And yet you saved me from a strange and dangerous situation; you have kindly brought me back to life.”
Soon after this he inquired, if I thought that the breaking up of the ice had destroyed the other sledge? I replied, that I could not answer with any degree of certainty; for the ice had not broken until near midnight, and the traveller might have arrived at a place of safety before that time; but of this I could not judge.
Soon after this, he asked if I thought the breaking of the ice had destroyed the other sledge. I replied that I couldn't say for sure because the ice hadn't broken until just before midnight, and the traveler might have reached a safe place before that time. But I couldn't be certain about it.
From this time the stranger seemed very eager to be upon deck, to watch for the sledge which had before appeared; but I have persuaded him to remain in the cabin, for he is far too weak to sustain the rawness of the atmosphere. But I have promised that some one should watch for him, and give him instant notice if any new object should appear in sight.
From this point on, the stranger seemed really eager to be on deck, hoping to spot the sledge that had appeared before; however, I convinced him to stay in the cabin since he’s far too weak to handle the harshness of the atmosphere. I promised him that someone would keep an eye out for him and alert him immediately if anything new came into view.
Such is my journal of what relates to this strange occurrence up to the present day. The stranger has gradually improved in health, but is very silent, and appears uneasy when any one except myself enters his cabin. Yet his manners are so conciliating and gentle, that the sailors are all interested in him, although they have had very little communication with him. For my own part, I begin to love him as a brother; and his constant and deep grief fills me with sympathy and compassion. He must have been a noble creature in his better days, being even now in wreck so attractive and amiable.
This is my journal about this strange occurrence up to now. The stranger has slowly gotten better, but he's still very quiet and seems uncomfortable when anyone other than me comes into his cabin. However, he's so friendly and gentle that the sailors are all drawn to him, even though they've hardly talked to him. As for me, I’m starting to love him like a brother, and his constant, deep sadness makes me feel sympathy and compassion. He must have been a remarkable person in his earlier days, since even in his current state, he's still so appealing and kind.
I said in one of my letters, my dear Margaret, that I should find no friend on the wide ocean; yet I have found a man who, before his spirit had been broken by misery, I should have been happy to have possessed as the brother of my heart.
I mentioned in one of my letters, my dear Margaret, that I wouldn't find any friends on the vast ocean; yet I have met a man who, before his spirit was crushed by despair, I would have been glad to call the brother of my heart.
I shall continue my journal concerning the stranger at intervals, should I have any fresh incidents to record.
I will keep updating my journal about the stranger from time to time if I have any new events to share.
August 13th, 17—.
August 13, 17—.
My affection for my guest increases every day. He excites at once my admiration and my pity to an astonishing degree. How can I see so noble a creature destroyed by misery without feeling the most poignant grief? He is so gentle, yet so wise; his mind is so cultivated; and when he speaks, although his words are culled with the choicest art, yet they flow with rapidity and unparalleled eloquence.
My feelings for my guest grow stronger every day. He fills me with both admiration and compassion to an incredible extent. How can I watch such a noble person be brought down by suffering without feeling profound sadness? He is so kind, yet so insightful; his mind is so refined; and when he speaks, even though his words are carefully chosen, they flow quickly and with unmatched eloquence.
He is now much recovered from his illness, and is continually on the deck, apparently watching for the sledge that preceded his own. Yet, although unhappy, he is not so utterly occupied by his own misery, but that he interests himself deeply in the employments of others. He has asked me many questions concerning my design; and I have related my little history frankly to him. He appeared pleased with the confidence, and suggested several alterations in my plan, which I shall find exceedingly useful. There is no pedantry in his manner; but all he does appears to spring solely from the interest he instinctively takes in the welfare of those who surround him. He is often overcome by gloom, and then he sits by himself, and tries to overcome all that is sullen or unsocial in his humour. These paroxysms pass from him like a cloud from before the sun, though his dejection never leaves him. I have endeavoured to win his confidence; and I trust that I have succeeded. One day I mentioned to him the desire I had always felt of finding a friend who might sympathize with me, and direct me by his counsel. I said, I did not belong to that class of men who are offended by advice. “I am self-educated, and perhaps I hardly rely sufficiently upon my own powers. I wish therefore that my companion should be wiser and more experienced than myself, to confirm and support me; nor have I believed it impossible to find a true friend.”
He has now mostly recovered from his illness and is often on deck, seemingly watching for the sled that came before his. Even though he is unhappy, he isn’t completely consumed by his own misery; instead, he takes a genuine interest in what others are doing. He has asked me a lot of questions about my plans, and I’ve shared my story with him openly. He seemed pleased with my trust and suggested several changes to my plan that I find very helpful. There’s no pretentiousness in how he acts; everything he does comes from a natural concern for the well-being of those around him. He often feels down and sometimes sits alone, trying to shake off his gloomy and withdrawn mood. These mood swings pass like clouds clearing from the sun, though his sadness never fully goes away. I’ve tried to gain his trust, and I hope I’ve succeeded. One day, I told him about my long-standing desire to find a friend who could empathize with me and guide me with his advice. I explained that I’m not one of those people who get annoyed by advice. “I’m self-taught, and maybe I don’t fully trust my own abilities. So, I want my companion to be wiser and more experienced than me, to support and encourage me; I don’t think it’s impossible to find a true friend.”
“I agree with you,” replied the stranger, “in believing that friendship is not only a desirable, but a possible acquisition. I once had a friend, the most noble of human creatures, and am entitled, therefore, to judge respecting friendship. You have hope, and the world before you, and have no cause for despair. But I——I have lost every thing, and cannot begin life anew.”
“I agree with you,” replied the stranger, “in believing that friendship is not only something we should want, but something we can actually achieve. I once had a friend, the most noble person I've ever known, so I feel qualified to talk about friendship. You have hope and a future ahead of you, so you have no reason to feel hopeless. But I—I’ve lost everything and can’t start over.”
As he said this, his countenance became expressive of a calm settled grief, that touched me to the heart. But he was silent, and presently retired to his cabin.
As he said this, his face showed a calm, deep sadness that really moved me. But he didn't speak, and soon he went back to his cabin.
Even broken in spirit as he is, no one can feel more deeply than he does the beauties of nature. The starry sky, the sea, and every sight afforded by these wonderful regions, seems still to have the power of elevating his soul from earth. Such a man has a double existence: he may suffer misery, and be overwhelmed by disappointments; yet when he has retired into himself, he will be like a celestial spirit, that has a halo around him, within whose circle no grief or folly ventures.
Even though he’s broken in spirit, no one feels the beauty of nature more deeply than he does. The starry sky, the sea, and every view in these amazing places still have the ability to lift his soul above the ground. Such a person lives in two worlds: he may endure misery and be weighed down by disappointments; yet when he reflects inwardly, he becomes like a celestial being, surrounded by a halo, within which no sadness or foolishness dares to enter.
Will you laugh at the enthusiasm I express concerning this divine wanderer? If you do, you must have certainly lost that simplicity which was once your characteristic charm. Yet, if you will, smile at the warmth of my expressions, while I find every day new causes for repeating them.
Will you laugh at my excitement about this divine traveler? If you do, you must have definitely lost the simplicity that used to be your charming trait. But if you want, go ahead and smile at the warmth of my words, while I discover new reasons every day to say them again.
August 19th, 17—.
August 19, 17—.
Yesterday the stranger said to me, “You may easily perceive, Captain Walton, that I have suffered great and unparalleled misfortunes. I had determined, once, that the memory of these evils should die with me; but you have won me to alter my determination. You seek for knowledge and wisdom, as I once did; and I ardently hope that the gratification of your wishes may not be a serpent to sting you, as mine has been. I do not know that the relation of my misfortunes will be useful to you, yet, if you are inclined, listen to my tale. I believe that the strange incidents connected with it will afford a view of nature, which may enlarge your faculties and understanding. You will hear of powers and occurrences, such as you have been accustomed to believe impossible: but I do not doubt that my tale conveys in its series internal evidence of the truth of the events of which it is composed.”
Yesterday, the stranger said to me, “You can easily tell, Captain Walton, that I have gone through great and unmatched misfortunes. I once decided that the memory of these hardships should die with me; but you have persuaded me to change my mind. You’re in search of knowledge and wisdom, just like I once was; and I sincerely hope that fulfilling your desires won’t turn out to be a curse for you, as it has for me. I’m not sure if sharing my misfortunes will be helpful to you, but if you’re open to it, listen to my story. I believe the unusual events related to it will give you a perspective on nature that could expand your abilities and understanding. You will hear about powers and events that you’ve likely thought were impossible, but I have no doubt that my story provides clear evidence of the truth behind the events I describe.”
You may easily conceive that I was much gratified by the offered communication; yet I could not endure that he should renew his grief by a recital of his misfortunes. I felt the greatest eagerness to hear the promised narrative, partly from curiosity, and partly from a strong desire to ameliorate his fate, if it were in my power. I expressed these feelings in my answer.
You can easily imagine that I was really pleased with the message he offered; however, I couldn’t stand the thought of him reopening his wounds by sharing his troubles. I was very eager to hear the promised story, both out of curiosity and a strong desire to improve his situation, if I could. I conveyed these feelings in my response.
“I thank you,” he replied, “for your sympathy, but it is useless; my fate is nearly fulfilled. I wait but for one event, and then I shall repose in peace. I understand your feeling,” continued he, perceiving that I wished to interrupt him; “but you are mistaken, my friend, if thus you will allow me to name you; nothing can alter my destiny: listen to my history, and you will perceive how irrevocably it is determined.”
“I appreciate your sympathy,” he said, “but it’s pointless; my fate is almost complete. I’m waiting for just one thing, and then I can finally rest in peace. I get your feelings,” he continued, noticing that I wanted to interrupt him, “but you’re wrong, my friend, if I may call you that; nothing can change my destiny: hear my story, and you’ll see how unchangeable it is.”
He then told me, that he would commence his narrative the next day when I should be at leisure. This promise drew from me the warmest thanks. I have resolved every night, when I am not engaged, to record, as nearly as possible in his own words, what he has related during the day. If I should be engaged, I will at least make notes. This manuscript will doubtless afford you the greatest pleasure: but to me, who know him, and who hear it from his own lips, with what interest and sympathy shall I read it in some future day!
He then told me that he would start his story the next day when I had time. I thanked him warmly for this promise. I've decided that every night, when I’m not busy, I will write down as closely as possible in his own words what he shared during the day. If I am busy, I’ll at least take notes. This manuscript will surely bring you a lot of joy; but for me, who knows him and hears it directly from him, I can't wait to read it with such interest and empathy someday!
FRANKENSTEIN;
OR,
THE MODERN PROMETHEUS.
CHAPTER I.
I am by birth a Genevese; and my family is one of the most distinguished of that republic. My ancestors had been for many years counsellors and syndics; and my father had filled several public situations with honour and reputation. He was respected by all who knew him for his integrity and indefatigable attention to public business. He passed his younger days perpetually occupied by the affairs of his country; and it was not until the decline of life that he thought of marrying, and bestowing on the state sons who might carry his virtues and his name down to posterity.
I was born in Geneva, and my family is one of the most respected in the city. My ancestors had been counselors and syndics for many years, and my father held several public roles with honor and a good reputation. Everyone who knew him respected him for his integrity and tireless dedication to public service. He spent his youth completely focused on his country's affairs, and it wasn’t until later in life that he considered getting married and having sons who could carry on his values and his name for future generations.
As the circumstances of his marriage illustrate his character, I cannot refrain from relating them. One of his most intimate friends was a merchant, who, from a flourishing state, fell, through numerous mischances, into poverty. This man, whose name was Beaufort, was of a proud and unbending disposition, and could not bear to live in poverty and oblivion in the same country where he had formerly been distinguished for his rank and magnificence. Having paid his debts, therefore, in the most honourable manner, he retreated with his daughter to the town of Lucerne, where he lived unknown and in wretchedness. My father loved Beaufort with the truest friendship, and was deeply grieved by his retreat in these unfortunate circumstances. He grieved also for the loss of his society, and resolved to seek him out and endeavour to persuade him to begin the world again through his credit and assistance.
As his marriage circumstances show his character, I have to share them. One of his closest friends was a merchant who, after thriving for a time, fell into poverty due to a series of unfortunate events. This man, named Beaufort, was proud and stubborn and couldn't stand living in poverty and obscurity in the same country where he was once well-known for his status and wealth. After paying off his debts in the most honorable way, he withdrew with his daughter to the town of Lucerne, where he lived in anonymity and misery. My father truly cared for Beaufort and was deeply saddened by his withdrawal under such unfortunate circumstances. He also missed his company and decided to find him in hopes of encouraging him to start over with his support and help.
Beaufort had taken effectual measures to conceal himself; and it was ten months before my father discovered his abode. Overjoyed at this discovery, he hastened to the house, which was situated in a mean street, near the Reuss. But when he entered, misery and despair alone welcomed him. Beaufort had saved but a very small sum of money from the wreck of his fortunes; but it was sufficient to provide him with sustenance for some months, and in the mean time he hoped to procure some respectable employment in a merchant’s house. The interval was consequently spent in inaction; his grief only became more deep and rankling, when he had leisure for reflection; and at length it took so fast hold of his mind, that at the end of three months he lay on a bed of sickness, incapable of any exertion.
Beaufort had taken strong steps to hide himself, and it took my father ten months to find out where he was living. Excited by this discovery, he rushed to the house, located in a rundown street near the Reuss. But when he arrived, he was met only with misery and despair. Beaufort had saved only a small amount of money from his ruined life; however, it was enough to sustain him for a few months, and he hoped to find a decent job at a merchant's firm in the meantime. Those months were spent doing nothing; his sorrow grew deeper and more painful as he had time to think, and eventually, it overwhelmed him to the point where, after three months, he was lying in bed sick and unable to take any action.
His daughter attended him with the greatest tenderness; but she saw with despair that their little fund was rapidly decreasing, and that there was no other prospect of support. But Caroline Beaufort possessed a mind of an uncommon mould; and her courage rose to support her in her adversity. She procured plain work; she plaited straw; and by various means contrived to earn a pittance scarcely sufficient to support life.
His daughter cared for him with great tenderness; however, she felt a deep sense of despair as she noticed their small savings were quickly running out and there was no other source of support in sight. But Caroline Beaufort had a unique and strong mind; her courage helped her face the tough times. She took up simple work, wove straw, and found different ways to earn a small amount of money that was barely enough to get by.
Several months passed in this manner. Her father grew worse; her time was more entirely occupied in attending him; her means of subsistence decreased; and in the tenth month her father died in her arms, leaving her an orphan and a beggar. This last blow overcame her; and she knelt by Beaufort’s coffin, weeping bitterly, when my father entered the chamber. He came like a protecting spirit to the poor girl, who committed herself to his care, and after the interment of his friend he conducted her to Geneva, and placed her under the protection of a relation. Two years after this event Caroline became his wife.
Several months went by like this. Her father got worse; she spent all her time taking care of him; her financial situation worsened; and in the tenth month, her father died in her arms, leaving her an orphan and a beggar. This final blow broke her, and she knelt by Beaufort’s coffin, crying heartbrokenly when my father entered the room. He came like a guardian angel to the poor girl, who entrusted herself to his care, and after his friend’s burial, he took her to Geneva and placed her under the care of a relative. Two years after this, Caroline became his wife.
When my father became a husband and a parent, he found his time so occupied by the duties of his new situation, that he relinquished many of his public employments, and devoted himself to the education of his children. Of these I was the eldest, and the destined successor to all his labours and utility. No creature could have more tender parents than mine. My improvement and health were their constant care, especially as I remained for several years their only child. But before I continue my narrative, I must record an incident which took place when I was four years of age.
When my dad became a husband and a parent, he found himself so busy with the responsibilities of his new role that he gave up many of his public jobs and focused on educating his kids. I was the oldest and the one set to carry on all his work and contributions. No one could have had more loving parents than mine. They were always concerned about my development and well-being, especially since I was their only child for several years. But before I move on with my story, I need to mention an incident that happened when I was four years old.
My father had a sister, whom he tenderly loved, and who had married early in life an Italian gentleman. Soon after her marriage, she had accompanied her husband into her native country, and for some years my father had very little communication with her. About the time I mentioned she died; and a few months afterwards he received a letter from her husband, acquainting him with his intention of marrying an Italian lady, and requesting my father to take charge of the infant Elizabeth, the only child of his deceased sister. “It is my wish,” he said, “that you should consider her as your own daughter, and educate her thus. Her mother’s fortune is secured to her, the documents of which I will commit to your keeping. Reflect upon this proposition; and decide whether you would prefer educating your niece yourself to her being brought up by a stepmother.”
My dad had a sister whom he loved dearly, and she married an Italian man early on. Shortly after the wedding, she moved to her husband’s country, and for a while, my dad didn’t keep in touch with her much. Around the time I mentioned, she passed away; a few months later, her husband wrote to my dad, letting him know he planned to marry an Italian woman and asking my dad to take care of Elizabeth, his late sister’s only child. “I want you to treat her like your own daughter and raise her that way,” he said. “Her mother's inheritance is secured, and I’ll leave the paperwork with you. Think about this offer and decide if you'd prefer to raise your niece yourself or let her be brought up by a stepmother.”
My father did not hesitate, and immediately went to Italy, that he might accompany the little Elizabeth to her future home. I have often heard my mother say, that she was at that time the most beautiful child she had ever seen, and shewed signs even then of a gentle and affectionate disposition. These indications, and a desire to bind as closely as possible the ties of domestic love, determined my mother to consider Elizabeth as my future wife; a design which she never found reason to repent.
My father didn't hesitate and immediately went to Italy to bring little Elizabeth to her future home. I've often heard my mother say that at that time, she was the most beautiful child she had ever seen and already showed signs of being gentle and affectionate. These signs, along with a desire to strengthen the bonds of family love, led my mother to view Elizabeth as my future wife—a plan she never regretted.
From this time Elizabeth Lavenza became my playfellow, and, as we grew older, my friend. She was docile and good tempered, yet gay and playful as a summer insect. Although she was lively and animated, her feelings were strong and deep, and her disposition uncommonly affectionate. No one could better enjoy liberty, yet no one could submit with more grace than she did to constraint and caprice. Her imagination was luxuriant, yet her capability of application was great. Her person was the image of her mind; her hazel eyes, although as lively as a bird’s, possessed an attractive softness. Her figure was light and airy; and, though capable of enduring great fatigue, she appeared the most fragile creature in the world. While I admired her understanding and fancy, I loved to tend on her, as I should on a favourite animal; and I never saw so much grace both of person and mind united to so little pretension.
From that time on, Elizabeth Lavenza became my playmate, and as we grew up, my friend. She was gentle and good-natured, yet lively and playful like a summer bug. Even though she was cheerful and energetic, her emotions were intense and profound, and she had an exceptionally caring nature. No one appreciated freedom more than she did, yet no one accepted restrictions and whims with more grace than she did. Her imagination was vivid, yet she was also very capable of focusing. Her appearance reflected her mind; her hazel eyes, although as lively as a bird's, had a captivating softness. Her figure was light and graceful, and even though she could endure a lot of exertion, she seemed like the most delicate person in the world. While I admired her intelligence and creativity, I loved to take care of her, just like I would a beloved pet; and I had never seen such a combination of grace in both body and mind with so little pretension.
Every one adored Elizabeth. If the servants had any request to make, it was always through her intercession. We were strangers to any species of disunion and dispute; for although there was a great dissimilitude in our characters, there was an harmony in that very dissimilitude. I was more calm and philosophical than my companion; yet my temper was not so yielding. My application was of longer endurance; but it was not so severe whilst it endured. I delighted in investigating the facts relative to the actual world; she busied herself in following the aërial creations of the poets. The world was to me a secret, which I desired to discover; to her it was a vacancy, which she sought to people with imaginations of her own.
Everyone adored Elizabeth. If the servants had a request, they would always go through her. We were unfamiliar with any kind of conflict or disagreement; even though our personalities were quite different, that very difference created a harmony between us. I was more calm and philosophical than my friend; however, my temperament was less flexible. I could focus for longer, but my intensity was not as harsh while it lasted. I enjoyed exploring facts about the real world; she occupied herself with the airy creations of poets. To me, the world was a mystery I wanted to unravel; to her, it was an emptiness she aimed to fill with her own imaginations.
My brothers were considerably younger than myself; but I had a friend in one of my schoolfellows, who compensated for this deficiency. Henry Clerval was the son of a merchant of Geneva, an intimate friend of my father. He was a boy of singular talent and fancy. I remember, when he was nine years old, he wrote a fairy tale, which was the delight and amazement of all his companions. His favourite study consisted in books of chivalry and romance; and when very young, I can remember, that we used to act plays composed by him out of these favourite books, the principal characters of which were Orlando, Robin Hood, Amadis, and St. George.
My brothers were quite a bit younger than me, but I had a friend among my classmates who made up for that. Henry Clerval was the son of a merchant from Geneva and a close friend of my father. He was a boy with unique talent and imagination. I remember when he was nine years old, he wrote a fairy tale that amazed and delighted all his friends. His favorite subjects were books about chivalry and romance, and I can recall that we would play act stories he created based on those beloved books, where the main characters were Orlando, Robin Hood, Amadis, and St. George.
No youth could have passed more happily than mine. My parents were indulgent, and my companions amiable. Our studies were never forced; and by some means we always had an end placed in view, which excited us to ardour in the prosecution of them. It was by this method, and not by emulation, that we were urged to application. Elizabeth was not incited to apply herself to drawing, that her companions might not outstrip her; but through the desire of pleasing her aunt, by the representation of some favourite scene done by her own hand. We learned Latin and English, that we might read the writings in those languages; and so far from study being made odious to us through punishment, we loved application, and our amusements would have been the labours of other children. Perhaps we did not read so many books, or learn languages so quickly, as those who are disciplined according to the ordinary methods; but what we learned was impressed the more deeply on our memories.
No young person could have had a happier childhood than I did. My parents were lenient, and my friends were friendly. Our studies were never forced; somehow, we always had a goal in sight that motivated us to work hard. It was this approach, rather than competition, that encouraged us to engage. Elizabeth wasn't motivated to improve her drawing just to keep up with her friends; she wanted to impress her aunt by creating a favorite scene all on her own. We learned Latin and English so we could read works in those languages, and far from making study feel burdensome through punishment, we actually enjoyed learning, so much so that our leisure activities would have been considered hard work by other kids. Perhaps we didn't read as many books or pick up languages as quickly as those who were educated using traditional methods, but what we did learn stuck with us more profoundly.
In this description of our domestic circle I include Henry Clerval; for he was constantly with us. He went to school with me, and generally passed the afternoon at our house; for being an only child, and destitute of companions at home, his father was well pleased that he should find associates at our house; and we were never completely happy when Clerval was absent.
In this description of our home life, I include Henry Clerval because he was always with us. He attended school with me and usually spent his afternoons at our place. Being an only child with no friends at home, his father was glad that he could find companionship at our house, and we were never truly happy when Clerval was gone.
I feel pleasure in dwelling on the recollections of childhood, before misfortune had tainted my mind, and changed its bright visions of extensive usefulness into gloomy and narrow reflections upon self. But, in drawing the picture of my early days, I must not omit to record those events which led, by insensible steps to my after tale of misery: for when I would account to myself for the birth of that passion, which afterwards ruled my destiny, I find it arise, like a mountain river, from ignoble and almost forgotten sources; but, swelling as it proceeded, it became the torrent which, in its course, has swept away all my hopes and joys.
I find joy in reflecting on my childhood memories, before misfortune darkened my thoughts and turned my bright dreams of helping others into sad and narrow self-reflections. However, as I paint the picture of my early days, I can’t ignore the events that gradually led to my later story of suffering. When I try to understand the origins of the passion that came to control my fate, I see it emerge, like a mountain river, from humble and almost forgotten beginnings. But as it grew, it turned into a torrent that has washed away all my hopes and joys.
Natural philosophy is the genius that has regulated my fate; I desire therefore, in this narration, to state those facts which led to my predilection for that science. When I was thirteen years of age, we all went on a party of pleasure to the baths near Thonon: the inclemency of the weather obliged us to remain a day confined to the inn. In this house I chanced to find a volume of the works of Cornelius Agrippa. I opened it with apathy; the theory which he attempts to demonstrate, and the wonderful facts which he relates, soon changed this feeling into enthusiasm. A new light seemed to dawn upon my mind; and, bounding with joy, I communicated my discovery to my father. I cannot help remarking here the many opportunities instructors possess of directing the attention of their pupils to useful knowledge, which they utterly neglect. My father looked carelessly at the title-page of my book, and said, “Ah! Cornelius Agrippa! My dear Victor, do not waste your time upon this; it is sad trash.”
Natural philosophy is the force that has shaped my destiny; I want to share the events that led to my passion for this field. When I was thirteen, we took a trip to the baths near Thonon, but bad weather forced us to stay at the inn for a day. While there, I stumbled upon a book of works by Cornelius Agrippa. I initially opened it with indifference, but the theories he presented and the incredible stories he told quickly turned that indifference into enthusiasm. A new perspective seemed to open up in my mind, and filled with joy, I shared my discovery with my father. I can’t help but notice how many chances teachers have to steer their students toward valuable knowledge, which they completely overlook. My father glanced at the title page of my book and said, “Oh! Cornelius Agrippa! My dear Victor, don’t waste your time on this; it’s just worthless nonsense.”
If, instead of this remark, my father had taken the pains, to explain to me, that the principles of Agrippa had been entirely exploded, and that a modern system of science had been introduced, which possessed much greater powers than the ancient, because the powers of the latter were chimerical, while those of the former were real and practical; under such circumstances, I should certainly have thrown Agrippa aside, and, with my imagination warmed as it was, should probably have applied myself to the more rational theory of chemistry which has resulted from modern discoveries. It is even possible, that the train of my ideas would never have received the fatal impulse that led to my ruin. But the cursory glance my father had taken of my volume by no means assured me that he was acquainted with its contents; and I continued to read with the greatest avidity.
If my dad had bothered to explain to me that Agrippa's ideas had been completely debunked and that a modern science had emerged with much more effective methods than the old ones, which were just fantasies, while the new ones were real and practical, I definitely would have dismissed Agrippa. With my imagination fired up as it was, I probably would have focused on the more sensible chemistry theories that came from modern discoveries. It's even possible that my thought process wouldn't have taken that disastrous turn that led to my downfall. But my dad's brief look at my book didn’t make me think he really knew what was inside it, so I kept reading with intense enthusiasm.
When I returned home, my first care was to procure the whole works of this author, and afterwards of Paracelsus and Albertus Magnus. I read and studied the wild fancies of these writers with delight; they appeared to me treasures known to few beside myself; and although I often wished to communicate these secret stores of knowledge to my father, yet his indefinite censure of my favourite Agrippa always withheld me. I disclosed my discoveries to Elizabeth, therefore, under a promise of strict secrecy; but she did not interest herself in the subject, and I was left by her to pursue my studies alone.
When I got home, my first priority was to get the complete works of this author, and later, those of Paracelsus and Albertus Magnus. I eagerly read and studied the wild ideas of these writers; they felt like treasures that only I knew about. Even though I often wanted to share these secret bits of knowledge with my dad, his vague disapproval of my favorite Agrippa always held me back. So, I shared my findings with Elizabeth, but only after promising to keep it a secret; however, she didn’t show much interest in the topic, so I was left to continue my studies on my own.
It may appear very strange, that a disciple of Albertus Magnus should arise in the eighteenth century; but our family was not scientifical, and I had not attended any of the lectures given at the schools of Geneva. My dreams were therefore undisturbed by reality; and I entered with the greatest diligence into the search of the philosopher’s stone and the elixir of life. But the latter obtained my most undivided attention: wealth was an inferior object; but what glory would attend the discovery, if I could banish disease from the human frame, and render man invulnerable to any but a violent death!
It might seem really odd that a follower of Albertus Magnus would emerge in the eighteenth century, but my family wasn’t scientific, and I hadn’t been to any of the lectures at the schools in Geneva. So, my dreams weren’t interrupted by reality, and I devoted myself wholeheartedly to finding the philosopher’s stone and the elixir of life. However, the elixir of life captured my complete focus: wealth seemed less important; just imagine the glory that would come with discovering a way to eliminate disease from the human body and make people immune to anything except for a violent death!
Nor were these my only visions. The raising of ghosts or devils was a promise liberally accorded by my favourite authors, the fulfilment of which I most eagerly sought; and if my incantations were always unsuccessful, I attributed the failure rather to my own inexperience and mistake, than to a want of skill or fidelity in my instructors.
Nor were these the only visions I had. The ability to raise ghosts or devils was a promise generously offered by my favorite authors, and I eagerly sought to make it happen; and if my attempts were always unsuccessful, I blamed my failure more on my own inexperience and mistakes than on a lack of skill or commitment from my teachers.
The natural phænomena that take place every day before our eyes did not escape my examinations. Distillation, and the wonderful effects of steam, processes of which my favourite authors were utterly ignorant, excited my astonishment; but my utmost wonder was engaged by some experiments on an air-pump, which I saw employed by a gentleman whom we were in the habit of visiting.
The natural phenomena that happen every day right before our eyes didn’t go unnoticed by me. Distillation and the amazing effects of steam, processes that my favorite authors knew nothing about, really amazed me; but what fascinated me the most were some experiments with an air pump that I saw a guy using during a visit we often made.
The ignorance of the early philosophers on these and several other points served to decrease their credit with me: but I could not entirely throw them aside, before some other system should occupy their place in my mind.
The ignorance of early philosophers on these and several other issues made me lose some respect for them; however, I couldn't completely dismiss them until another system could take their place in my thoughts.
When I was about fifteen years old, we had retired to our house near Belrive, when we witnessed a most violent and terrible thunder-storm. It advanced from behind the mountains of Jura; and the thunder burst at once with frightful loudness from various quarters of the heavens. I remained, while the storm lasted, watching its progress with curiosity and delight. As I stood at the door, on a sudden I beheld a stream of fire issue from an old and beautiful oak, which stood about twenty yards from our house; and so soon as the dazzling light vanished, the oak had disappeared, and nothing remained but a blasted stump. When we visited it the next morning, we found the tree shattered in a singular manner. It was not splintered by the shock, but entirely reduced to thin ribbands of wood. I never beheld any thing so utterly destroyed.
When I was about fifteen, we were at our house near Belrive when we experienced a really violent and terrifying thunderstorm. It rolled in from behind the Jura mountains, and the thunder crashed loudly from all different parts of the sky. I stayed outside for the whole storm, watching it with both curiosity and excitement. Suddenly, as I stood at the door, I saw a stream of fire burst from an old, beautiful oak tree about twenty yards away from our house; and as soon as the blinding light disappeared, the oak was gone, leaving only a charred stump. When we checked on it the next morning, we found the tree shattered in a strange way. It wasn’t just splintered; it was completely reduced to thin strips of wood. I had never seen anything so completely destroyed.
The catastrophe of this tree excited my extreme astonishment; and I eagerly inquired of my father the nature and origin of thunder and lightning. He replied, “Electricity;” describing at the same time the various effects of that power. He constructed a small electrical machine, and exhibited a few experiments; he made also a kite, with a wire and string, which drew down that fluid from the clouds.
The disaster caused by this tree shocked me greatly, and I eagerly asked my father about the nature and origin of thunder and lightning. He answered, “Electricity,” while explaining the different effects of that power. He built a small electrical machine and demonstrated a few experiments; he also made a kite with a wire and string that could draw that energy down from the clouds.
This last stroke completed the overthrow of Cornelius Agrippa, Albertus Magnus, and Paracelsus, who had so long reigned the lords of my imagination. But by some fatality I did not feel inclined to commence the study of any modern system; and this disinclination was influenced by the following circumstance.
This final blow brought down Cornelius Agrippa, Albertus Magnus, and Paracelsus, who had long ruled my imagination. However, for some reason, I wasn’t motivated to start studying any modern system; this lack of motivation was shaped by the following situation.
My father expressed a wish that I should attend a course of lectures upon natural philosophy, to which I cheerfully consented. Some accident prevented my attending these lectures until the course was nearly finished. The lecture, being therefore one of the last, was entirely incomprehensible to me. The professor discoursed with the greatest fluency of potassium and boron, of sulphates and oxyds, terms to which I could affix no idea; and I became disgusted with the science of natural philosophy, although I still read Pliny and Buffon with delight, authors, in my estimation, of nearly equal interest and utility.
My dad wanted me to take a series of lectures on natural philosophy, and I happily agreed. However, something happened that kept me from attending until the course was almost over. Since the lecture I attended was one of the last, I found it completely confusing. The professor spoke fluently about potassium and boron, sulfates and oxides—terms that meant nothing to me; I ended up feeling frustrated with natural philosophy. Still, I enjoyed reading Pliny and Buffon, who I thought were almost equally interesting and useful.
My occupations at this age were principally the mathematics, and most of the branches of study appertaining to that science. I was busily employed in learning languages; Latin was already familiar to me, and I began to read some of the easiest Greek authors without the help of a lexicon. I also perfectly understood English and German. This is the list of my accomplishments at the age of seventeen; and you may conceive that my hours were fully employed in acquiring and maintaining a knowledge of this various literature.
At this age, I was mainly focused on mathematics and most of the subjects related to that field. I was busy learning languages; I was already comfortable with Latin and started reading some of the simplest Greek authors without needing a dictionary. I also understood English and German perfectly. This is the list of my skills at seventeen, and you can imagine that I spent all my time acquiring and keeping up with this diverse literature.
Another task also devolved upon me, when I became the instructor of my brothers. Ernest was six years younger than myself, and was my principal pupil. He had been afflicted with ill health from his infancy, through which Elizabeth and I had been his constant nurses: his disposition was gentle, but he was incapable of any severe application. William, the youngest of our family, was yet an infant, and the most beautiful little fellow in the world; his lively blue eyes, dimpled cheeks, and endearing manners, inspired the tenderest affection.
Another responsibility came my way when I became the teacher for my brothers. Ernest was six years younger than me and was my main student. He had struggled with health issues since he was a baby, and Elizabeth and I had always been there to care for him: he was gentle by nature but couldn’t focus for long. William, the youngest in our family, was still an infant and the most adorable little guy you could imagine; his bright blue eyes, dimpled cheeks, and charming personality filled everyone with love.
Such was our domestic circle, from which care and pain seemed for ever banished. My father directed our studies, and my mother partook of our enjoyments. Neither of us possessed the slightest pre-eminence over the other; the voice of command was never heard amongst us; but mutual affection engaged us all to comply with and obey the slightest desire of each other.
Our home life was peaceful, and it felt like we were free from worry and suffering. My dad guided our education, and my mom joined in our fun. None of us were above the others; there was never a commanding voice among us. Instead, our mutual love made us all eager to support and fulfill even each other's smallest wishes.
CHAPTER II.
When I had attained the age of seventeen, my parents resolved that I should become a student at the university of Ingolstadt. I had hitherto attended the schools of Geneva; but my father thought it necessary, for the completion of my education, that I should be made acquainted with other customs than those of my native country. My departure was therefore fixed at an early date; but, before the day resolved upon could arrive, the first misfortune of my life occurred—an omen, as it were, of my future misery.
When I turned seventeen, my parents decided that I should become a student at the university in Ingolstadt. Until then, I had gone to school in Geneva, but my father believed it was important for my education that I experience different cultures beyond my own. So, my departure was set for an early date; however, before the scheduled day could arrive, the first misfortune of my life happened—like a sign of the suffering that was to come.
Elizabeth had caught the scarlet fever; but her illness was not severe, and she quickly recovered. During her confinement, many arguments had been urged to persuade my mother to refrain from attending upon her. She had, at first, yielded to our entreaties; but when she heard that her favourite was recovering, she could no longer debar herself from her society, and entered her chamber long before the danger of infection was past. The consequences of this imprudence were fatal. On the third day my mother sickened; her fever was very malignant, and the looks of her attendants prognosticated the worst event. On her death-bed the fortitude and benignity of this admirable woman did not desert her. She joined the hands of Elizabeth and myself: “My children,” she said, “my firmest hopes of future happiness were placed on the prospect of your union. This expectation will now be the consolation of your father. Elizabeth, my love, you must supply my place to your younger cousins. Alas! I regret that I am taken from you; and, happy and beloved as I have been, is it not hard to quit you all? But these are not thoughts befitting me; I will endeavour to resign myself cheerfully to death, and will indulge a hope of meeting you in another world.”
Elizabeth had caught scarlet fever, but her illness wasn't severe, and she quickly got better. During her recovery, many arguments were made to convince my mother not to care for her. At first, she agreed to our pleas, but when she learned that her favorite was getting better, she couldn't stay away and visited her room long before the risk of infection had passed. The consequences of this carelessness were dire. On the third day, my mother fell ill; her fever was very serious, and the expressions of her caregivers suggested the worst outcome. Even on her deathbed, the strength and kindness of this remarkable woman did not leave her. She took Elizabeth's hand and mine: “My children,” she said, “my strongest hopes for future happiness rested on the idea of your union. This hope will now be a comfort to your father. Elizabeth, my dear, you must take my place with your younger cousins. Oh, how I wish I could stay with you; and as happy and loved as I have been, isn't it hard to leave you all? But these thoughts aren't fitting for me; I will try to accept death cheerfully, and I will hold onto the hope of seeing you in another world.”
She died calmly; and her countenance expressed affection even in death. I need not describe the feelings of those whose dearest ties are rent by that most irreparable evil, the void that presents itself to the soul, and the despair that is exhibited on the countenance. It is so long before the mind can persuade itself that she, whom we saw every day, and whose very existence appeared a part of our own, can have departed for ever—that the brightness of a beloved eye can have been extinguished, and the sound of a voice so familiar, and dear to the ear, can be hushed, never more to be heard. These are the reflections of the first days; but when the lapse of time proves the reality of the evil, then the actual bitterness of grief commences. Yet from whom has not that rude hand rent away some dear connexion; and why should I describe a sorrow which all have felt, and must feel? The time at length arrives, when grief is rather an indulgence than a necessity; and the smile that plays upon the lips, although it may be deemed a sacrilege, is not banished. My mother was dead, but we had still duties which we ought to perform; we must continue our course with the rest, and learn to think ourselves fortunate, whilst one remains whom the spoiler has not seized.
She died peacefully, and her face still showed love even in death. I won’t go into the feelings of those whose closest relationships have been torn apart by that most irreparable loss—the emptiness that fills the soul and the despair evident on their faces. It takes a long time for the mind to accept that she, who we saw every day and whose existence felt like a part of our own, could be gone forever—that the sparkle of a beloved eye could be extinguished, and the sound of a voice that was so familiar and dear could be silenced, never to be heard again. These are the thoughts that occupy the first few days; but when time passes and the reality of the loss sinks in, then the true pain of grief begins. Yet, who hasn't felt that cruel hand take away someone dear? Why should I describe a sorrow that everyone has experienced and must experience? Eventually, the time comes when grief feels more like an indulgence than a necessity; and the smile that appears on our lips, although it might seem inappropriate, is not completely gone. My mother was dead, but we still had responsibilities to fulfill; we had to keep moving forward with life and learn to consider ourselves lucky for the ones we still have, while the one who took her has not claimed them.
My journey to Ingolstadt, which had been deferred by these events, was now again determined upon. I obtained from my father a respite of some weeks. This period was spent sadly; my mother’s death, and my speedy departure, depressed our spirits; but Elizabeth endeavoured to renew the spirit of cheerfulness in our little society. Since the death of her aunt, her mind had acquired new firmness and vigour. She determined to fulfil her duties with the greatest exactness; and she felt that that most imperious duty, of rendering her uncle and cousins happy, had devolved upon her. She consoled me, amused her uncle, instructed my brothers; and I never beheld her so enchanting as at this time, when she was continually endeavouring to contribute to the happiness of others, entirely forgetful of herself.
My trip to Ingolstadt, which had been postponed because of these events, was now back on track. I got a few weeks' delay from my father. This time was spent sadly; my mother's death and my upcoming departure weighed heavily on our spirits. But Elizabeth tried to bring back a sense of cheerfulness to our little group. Since her aunt's death, she had gained new strength and determination. She was committed to carrying out her responsibilities with the utmost care, and she felt the crucial responsibility of making her uncle and cousins happy had fallen on her. She comforted me, entertained her uncle, and guided my brothers; and I had never found her so captivating as during this time when she was always trying to bring joy to others, completely forgetting about herself.
The day of my departure at length arrived. I had taken leave of all my friends, excepting Clerval, who spent the last evening with us. He bitterly lamented that he was unable to accompany me: but his father could not be persuaded to part with him, intending that he should become a partner with him in business, in compliance with his favourite theory, that learning was superfluous in the commerce of ordinary life. Henry had a refined mind; he had no desire to be idle, and was well pleased to become his father’s partner, but he believed that a man might be a very good trader, and yet possess a cultivated understanding.
The day of my departure finally came. I had said goodbye to all my friends, except for Clerval, who spent the last evening with us. He deeply regretted that he couldn’t join me: his father insisted that he stay behind, planning for him to become his business partner, following his belief that education was unnecessary in the business world. Henry was thoughtful and didn't want to be idle; he was happy to work with his father, but he also believed that a person could be an excellent trader and still have a well-rounded education.
We sat late, listening to his complaints, and making many little arrangements for the future. The next morning early I departed. Tears gushed from the eyes of Elizabeth; they proceeded partly from sorrow at my departure, and partly because she reflected that the same journey was to have taken place three months before, when a mother’s blessing would have accompanied me.
We stayed up late, listening to his complaints and making all sorts of plans for the future. The next morning, I left early. Elizabeth was in tears; some of it was sadness about my leaving, and some was because she realized that this journey was supposed to happen three months ago, when I would have had my mother’s blessing with me.
I threw myself into the chaise that was to convey me away, and indulged in the most melancholy reflections. I, who had ever been surrounded by amiable companions, continually engaged in endeavouring to bestow mutual pleasure, I was now alone. In the university, whither I was going, I must form my own friends, and be my own protector. My life had hitherto been remarkably secluded and domestic; and this had given me invincible repugnance to new countenances. I loved my brothers, Elizabeth, and Clerval; these were “old familiar faces;” but I believed myself totally unfitted for the company of strangers. Such were my reflections as I commenced my journey; but as I proceeded, my spirits and hopes rose. I ardently desired the acquisition of knowledge. I had often, when at home, thought it hard to remain during my youth cooped up in one place, and had longed to enter the world, and take my station among other human beings. Now my desires were complied with, and it would, indeed, have been folly to repent.
I jumped into the carriage that was supposed to take me away and sank into deep, sad thoughts. I, who had always been surrounded by friendly companions, constantly trying to create happiness for one another, was now by myself. At the university, where I was headed, I would have to find my own friends and look out for myself. Until then, my life had been quite sheltered and domestic, which made me feel a strong aversion to meeting new people. I loved my brothers, Elizabeth, and Clerval; they were “old familiar faces,” but I thought I was completely unprepared for the company of strangers. Those were my thoughts as I started my journey; but as I traveled on, my spirits and hopes began to lift. I was eager to gain knowledge. Often, while at home, I had felt it was hard to stay cooped up in one place during my youth and had longed to explore the world and find my place among others. Now my desires were being fulfilled, and it would really have been foolish to regret it.
I had sufficient leisure for these and many other reflections during my journey to Ingolstadt, which was long and fatiguing. At length the high white steeple of the town met my eyes. I alighted, and was conducted to my solitary apartment, to spend the evening as I pleased.
I had plenty of time to think about these and many other things during my long and tiring journey to Ingolstadt. Finally, I spotted the tall, white steeple of the town. I got off and was taken to my private room, where I could spend the evening however I wanted.
The next morning I delivered my letters of introduction, and paid a visit to some of the principal professors, and among others to M. Krempe, professor of natural philosophy. He received me with politeness, and asked me several questions concerning my progress in the different branches of science appertaining to natural philosophy. I mentioned, it is true, with fear and trembling, the only authors I had ever read upon those subjects. The professor stared: “Have you,” he said, “really spent your time in studying such nonsense?”
The next morning, I delivered my letters of introduction and visited some of the main professors, including M. Krempe, who taught natural philosophy. He welcomed me politely and asked me several questions about my progress in the different areas of science related to natural philosophy. I mentioned, albeit nervously, the only authors I had ever read on those topics. The professor looked astonished: “Have you really wasted your time studying such nonsense?”
I replied in the affirmative. “Every minute,” continued M. Krempe with warmth, “every instant that you have wasted on those books is utterly and entirely lost. You have burdened your memory with exploded systems, and useless names. Good God! in what desert land have you lived, where no one was kind enough to inform you that these fancies, which you have so greedily imbibed, are a thousand years old, and as musty as they are ancient? I little expected in this enlightened and scientific age to find a disciple of Albertus Magnus and Paracelsus. My dear Sir, you must begin your studies entirely anew.”
I nodded in agreement. “Every minute,” M. Krempe continued passionately, “every moment you've wasted on those books is completely and totally lost. You’ve filled your mind with outdated theories and pointless names. Good grief! In what barren place have you been living, where no one bothered to tell you that these ideas, which you've eagerly embraced, are a thousand years old and as stale as they are ancient? I never expected to meet a follower of Albertus Magnus and Paracelsus in this enlightened and scientific age. My dear Sir, you need to start your studies all over again.”
So saying, he stept aside, and wrote down a list of several books treating of natural philosophy, which he desired me to procure, and dismissed me, after mentioning that in the beginning of the following week he intended to commence a course of lectures upon natural philosophy in its general relations, and that M. Waldman, a fellow-professor, would lecture upon chemistry the alternate days that he missed.
So saying, he stepped aside and wrote down a list of several books on natural philosophy that he wanted me to get for him. He then dismissed me after mentioning that at the start of the following week, he planned to begin a series of lectures on natural philosophy in general. He also said that M. Waldman, another professor, would lecture on chemistry on the days he wasn’t present.
I returned home, not disappointed, for I had long considered those authors useless whom the professor had so strongly reprobated; but I did not feel much inclined to study the books which I procured at his recommendation. M. Krempe was a little squat man, with a gruff voice and repulsive countenance; the teacher, therefore, did not prepossess me in favour of his doctrine. Besides, I had a contempt for the uses of modern natural philosophy. It was very different, when the masters of the science sought immortality and power; such views, although futile, were grand: but now the scene was changed. The ambition of the inquirer seemed to limit itself to the annihilation of those visions on which my interest in science was chiefly founded. I was required to exchange chimeras of boundless grandeur for realities of little worth.
I went home feeling fine, because I’d long thought the authors the professor condemned were worthless. However, I wasn’t really motivated to study the books he suggested. Mr. Krempe was a short, gruff man with an unappealing face, so I wasn’t inclined to like his teachings. Plus, I had a disdain for modern natural philosophy. It was different back when the great minds of science aimed for immortality and power; those ambitions, even if pointless, felt grand. But now everything had changed. The goals of researchers seemed to focus on destroying the ideas that sparked my interest in science. I was expected to trade my grand dreams for mundane realities.
Such were my reflections during the first two or three days spent almost in solitude. But as the ensuing week commenced, I thought of the information which M. Krempe had given me concerning the lectures. And although I could not consent to go and hear that little conceited fellow deliver sentences out of a pulpit, I recollected what he had said of M. Waldman, whom I had never seen, as he had hitherto been out of town.
Such were my thoughts during the first couple of days spent mostly in solitude. But as the next week began, I considered the information M. Krempe had shared with me about the lectures. And even though I couldn’t bring myself to go and listen to that arrogant guy deliver lectures from a podium, I remembered what he had said about M. Waldman, who I had never met since he had been out of town until now.
Partly from curiosity, and partly from idleness, I went into the lecturing room, which M. Waldman entered shortly after. This professor was very unlike his colleague. He appeared about fifty years of age, but with an aspect expressive of the greatest benevolence; a few gray hairs covered his temples, but those at the back of his head were nearly black. His person was short, but remarkably erect; and his voice the sweetest I had ever heard. He began his lecture by a recapitulation of the history of chemistry and the various improvements made by different men of learning, pronouncing with fervour the names of the most distinguished discoverers. He then took a cursory view of the present state of the science, and explained many of its elementary terms. After having made a few preparatory experiments, he concluded with a panegyric upon modern chemistry, the terms of which I shall never forget:—
Partly out of curiosity and partly out of boredom, I walked into the lecture hall, where M. Waldman entered shortly after. This professor was very different from his colleague. He looked around fifty years old but had a kind expression; a few gray hairs lined his temples, while the hair at the back of his head was almost black. He was short but stood very straight, and his voice was the sweetest I had ever heard. He started his lecture by summarizing the history of chemistry and the various advancements made by different scholars, passionately pronouncing the names of the most notable discoverers. Then he gave a brief overview of the current state of the science and explained many of its basic terms. After doing a few preliminary experiments, he wrapped up with a praise of modern chemistry, the words of which I will never forget:—
“The ancient teachers of this science,” said he, “promised impossibilities, and performed nothing. The modern masters promise very little; they know that metals cannot be transmuted, and that the elixir of life is a chimera. But these philosophers, whose hands seem only made to dabble in dirt, and their eyes to pour over the microscope or crucible, have indeed performed miracles. They penetrate into the recesses of nature, and shew how she works in her hiding places. They ascend into the heavens; they have discovered how the blood circulates, and the nature of the air we breathe. They have acquired new and almost unlimited powers; they can command the thunders of heaven, mimic the earthquake, and even mock the invisible world with its own shadows.”
“The ancient teachers of this science,” he said, “promised the impossible and delivered nothing. The modern masters promise very little; they understand that metals can’t be changed into other metals, and that the elixir of life is just a fantasy. But these philosophers, whose hands seem only made for handling dirt, and their eyes for focusing on the microscope or crucible, have truly performed miracles. They delve deep into the secrets of nature and reveal how she operates in her hidden corners. They rise to the heavens; they've figured out how blood circulates and the nature of the air we breathe. They have gained new and almost limitless powers; they can command the thunder of the sky, replicate earthquakes, and even play tricks on the unseen world with its own shadows.”
I departed highly pleased with the professor and his lecture, and paid him a visit the same evening. His manners in private were even more mild and attractive than in public; for there was a certain dignity in his mien during his lecture, which in his own house was replaced by the greatest affability and kindness. He heard with attention my little narration concerning my studies, and smiled at the names of Cornelius Agrippa, and Paracelsus, but without the contempt that M. Krempe had exhibited. He said, that “these were men to whose indefatigable zeal modern philosophers were indebted for most of the foundations of their knowledge. They had left to us, as an easier task, to give new names, and arrange in connected classifications, the facts which they in a great degree had been the instruments of bringing to light. The labours of men of genius, however erroneously directed, scarcely ever fail in ultimately turning to the solid advantage of mankind.” I listened to his statement, which was delivered without any presumption or affectation; and then added, that his lecture had removed my prejudices against modern chemists; and I, at the same time, requested his advice concerning the books I ought to procure.
I left the professor's lecture feeling really impressed, and I decided to visit him that same evening. His demeanor at home was even more gentle and appealing than it was in public; during his lecture, there was a certain dignity about him, but in his own space, he showed incredible friendliness and warmth. He listened carefully as I shared my thoughts about my studies and smiled at the names Cornelius Agrippa and Paracelsus, but without the disdain that M. Krempe had shown. He acknowledged that “these were men to whom modern philosophers owe much of the groundwork of their knowledge due to their relentless dedication. They made it easier for us to simply rename and organize the facts they helped uncover. The efforts of brilliant minds, no matter how misdirected, usually end up benefiting humanity in the long run.” I absorbed his words, which he expressed without any arrogance or pretense; then I mentioned that his lecture had changed my views about modern chemists, and I also asked for his recommendations on which books I should get.
“I am happy,” said M. Waldman, “to have gained a disciple; and if your application equals your ability, I have no doubt of your success. Chemistry is that branch of natural philosophy in which the greatest improvements have been and may be made; it is on that account that I have made it my peculiar study; but at the same time I have not neglected the other branches of science. A man would make but a very sorry chemist, if he attended to that department of human knowledge alone. If your wish is to become really a man of science, and not merely a petty experimentalist, I should advise you to apply to every branch of natural philosophy, including mathematics.”
“I’m pleased,” said M. Waldman, “to have gained a student; and if your dedication matches your talent, I have no doubt you’ll succeed. Chemistry is the area of natural philosophy where the greatest advancements have been and can be made; that’s why I've focused on it as my main study. However, I haven’t ignored other fields of science. A person would make a poor chemist if they only focused on that one area of knowledge. If you truly want to be a scientist and not just a minor experimenter, I recommend you explore every branch of natural philosophy, including mathematics.”
He then took me into his laboratory, and explained to me the uses of his various machines; instructing me as to what I ought to procure, and promising me the use of his own, when I should have advanced far enough in the science not to derange their mechanism. He also gave me the list of books which I had requested; and I took my leave.
He took me into his lab and explained the functions of his different machines, telling me what I should get and promising I could use his when I was advanced enough in the science not to mess up their mechanisms. He also gave me the list of books I had asked for, and then I said goodbye.
Thus ended a day memorable to me; it decided my future destiny.
Thus ended a day I’ll always remember; it shaped my future.
CHAPTER III.
From this day natural philosophy, and particularly chemistry, in the most comprehensive sense of the term, became nearly my sole occupation. I read with ardour those works, so full of genius and discrimination, which modern inquirers have written on these subjects. I attended the lectures, and cultivated the acquaintance, of the men of science of the university; and I found even in M. Krempe a great deal of sound sense and real information, combined, it is true, with a repulsive physiognomy and manners, but not on that account the less valuable. In M. Waldman I found a true friend. His gentleness was never tinged by dogmatism; and his instructions were given with an air of frankness and good nature, that banished every idea of pedantry. It was, perhaps, the amiable character of this man that inclined me more to that branch of natural philosophy which he professed, than an intrinsic love for the science itself. But this state of mind had place only in the first steps towards knowledge: the more fully I entered into the science, the more exclusively I pursued it for its own sake. That application, which at first had been a matter of duty and resolution, now became so ardent and eager, that the stars often disappeared in the light of morning whilst I was yet engaged in my laboratory.
From this day on, natural philosophy, especially chemistry in the broadest sense, became almost my only focus. I eagerly read the brilliant and insightful works that modern researchers have written on these topics. I attended lectures and built relationships with the scientists at the university; even M. Krempe, despite his off-putting looks and manners, had a lot of practical wisdom and useful knowledge that I valued. In M. Waldman, I found a true friend. His kindness never came with any arrogance, and he taught with such openness and warmth that it completely eliminated any sense of pretension. It was probably his friendly nature that drew me more to the field of natural philosophy he specialized in, rather than an inherent passion for the science itself. However, this mindset only lasted during my initial exploration of knowledge; as I delved deeper into the science, I became more dedicated to pursuing it for its own sake. What had started as a duty and a decision turned into such an intense passion that I often saw the stars fade by morning while I was still working in my lab.
As I applied so closely, it may be easily conceived that I improved rapidly. My ardour was indeed the astonishment of the students; and my proficiency, that of the masters. Professor Krempe often asked me, with a sly smile, how Cornelius Agrippa went on? whilst M. Waldman expressed the most heart-felt exultation in my progress. Two years passed in this manner, during which I paid no visit to Geneva, but was engaged, heart and soul, in the pursuit of some discoveries, which I hoped to make. None but those who have experienced them can conceive of the enticements of science. In other studies you go as far as others have gone before you, and there is nothing more to know; but in a scientific pursuit there is continual food for discovery and wonder. A mind of moderate capacity, which closely pursues one study, must infallibly arrive at great proficiency in that study; and I, who continually sought the attainment of one object of pursuit, and was solely wrapt up in this, improved so rapidly, that, at the end of two years, I made some discoveries in the improvement of some chemical instruments, which procured me great esteem and admiration at the university. When I had arrived at this point, and had become as well acquainted with the theory and practice of natural philosophy as depended on the lessons of any of the professors at Ingolstadt, my residence there being no longer conducive to my improvements, I thought of returning to my friends and my native town, when an incident happened that protracted my stay.
As I applied myself so intensely, it’s easy to see that I improved quickly. My enthusiasm truly amazed the other students, and my skill impressed the professors. Professor Krempe often asked me with a sly grin how Cornelius Agrippa was doing, while M. Waldman showed genuine joy in my progress. Two years went by like this, during which I didn’t visit Geneva but was completely dedicated to pursuing some discoveries I hoped to make. Only those who have experienced it can understand the allure of science. In other fields, you can only go as far as those before you, and there’s nothing new to learn; but in scientific exploration, there is always more to discover and marvel at. A mind of average ability that fully commits to one area of study will inevitably become highly skilled in that field, and I, who was singularly focused on one goal, improved so quickly that, by the end of two years, I made some advancements in chemical instruments that earned me great respect and admiration at the university. When I reached this point and had familiarized myself with the theory and practice of natural philosophy as much as any of the professors at Ingolstadt, my time there no longer seemed beneficial, and I thought about returning to my friends and hometown, when something happened that extended my stay.
One of the phænonema which had peculiarly attracted my attention was the structure of the human frame, and, indeed, any animal endued with life. Whence, I often asked myself, did the principle of life proceed? It was a bold question, and one which has ever been considered as a mystery; yet with how many things are we upon the brink of becoming acquainted, if cowardice or carelessness did not restrain our inquiries. I revolved these circumstances in my mind, and determined thenceforth to apply myself more particularly to those branches of natural philosophy which relate to physiology. Unless I had been animated by an almost supernatural enthusiasm, my application to this study would have been irksome, and almost intolerable. To examine the causes of life, we must first have recourse to death. I became acquainted with the science of anatomy: but this was not sufficient; I must also observe the natural decay and corruption of the human body. In my education my father had taken the greatest precautions that my mind should be impressed with no supernatural horrors. I do not ever remember to have trembled at a tale of superstition, or to have feared the apparition of a spirit. Darkness had no effect upon my fancy; and a church-yard was to me merely the receptacle of bodies deprived of life, which, from being the seat of beauty and strength, had become food for the worm. Now I was led to examine the cause and progress of this decay, and forced to spend days and nights in vaults and charnel houses. My attention was fixed upon every object the most insupportable to the delicacy of the human feelings. I saw how the fine form of man was degraded and wasted; I beheld the corruption of death succeed to the blooming cheek of life; I saw how the worm inherited the wonders of the eye and brain. I paused, examining and analysing all the minutiæ of causation, as exemplified in the change from life to death, and death to life, until from the midst of this darkness a sudden light broke in upon me—a light so brilliant and wondrous, yet so simple, that while I became dizzy with the immensity of the prospect which it illustrated, I was surprised that among so many men of genius, who had directed their inquiries towards the same science, that I alone should be reserved to discover so astonishing a secret.
One of the phenomena that really caught my attention was the structure of the human body and, in fact, any living animal. I often wondered, where does the principle of life come from? It was a bold question, and one that has always been considered a mystery; yet think of how many things we could understand if fear or indifference didn't hold us back from asking. I thought about this a lot and decided then to focus more on the areas of natural philosophy related to physiology. If it hadn't been for an almost supernatural enthusiasm, diving into this study would have been tedious and nearly unbearable. To understand the causes of life, we must first look at death. I learned about anatomy, but that wasn't enough; I also needed to observe the natural decay and corruption of the human body. My father had taken great care to shield me from any supernatural fears in my education. I don’t recall ever being frightened by a superstitious story or fearing the appearance of a ghost. Darkness didn't bother me; a graveyard was just a place for bodies that had lost their life, which had gone from being beautiful and strong to food for worms. Now I found myself compelled to investigate the cause and process of this decay, spending days and nights in vaults and charnel houses. My focus was drawn to everything that most people would find unbearable. I saw how the beautiful form of a person was degraded and wasted; I witnessed the decay of death replace the vibrant cheek of life; I saw how a worm took over the wonders of the eye and brain. I paused, examining and analyzing all the details of the process evident in the change from life to death, and then death back to life, until suddenly, from all this darkness, a brilliant light broke through—a light so extraordinary and yet so simple that, while I felt overwhelmed by the vastness of what it revealed, I was astonished that among so many brilliant minds who had explored the same field, I alone had uncovered such an amazing secret.
Remember, I am not recording the vision of a madman. The sun does not more certainly shine in the heavens, than that which I now affirm is true. Some miracle might have produced it, yet the stages of the discovery were distinct and probable. After days and nights of incredible labour and fatigue, I succeeded in discovering the cause of generation and life; nay, more, I became myself capable of bestowing animation upon lifeless matter.
Remember, I’m not just sharing the visions of a crazy person. The sun shines in the sky just as certainly as what I’m saying is true. Maybe some miracle brought it about, but the steps I took to figure it out were clear and reasonable. After days and nights of extreme work and exhaustion, I managed to find the cause of generation and life; in fact, I even became capable of giving life to lifeless matter.
The astonishment which I had at first experienced on this discovery soon gave place to delight and rapture. After so much time spent in painful labour, to arrive at once at the summit of my desires, was the most gratifying consummation of my toils. But this discovery was so great and overwhelming, that all the steps by which I had been progressively led to it were obliterated, and I beheld only the result. What had been the study and desire of the wisest men since the creation of the world, was now within my grasp. Not that, like a magic scene, it all opened upon me at once: the information I had obtained was of a nature rather to direct my endeavours so soon as I should point them towards the object of my search, than to exhibit that object already accomplished. I was like the Arabian who had been buried with the dead, and found a passage to life aided only by one glimmering, and seemingly ineffectual light.
The shock I felt at first from this discovery soon turned into joy and excitement. After so much time spent in hard work, reaching the peak of my ambitions was the most satisfying end to my efforts. But this discovery was so immense and intense that I forgot all the steps that led me here and only saw the outcome. What had been the study and goal of the smartest people since the beginning of time was now within my reach. But it didn't all reveal itself to me at once like a magic show; the information I had gathered was more about guiding my efforts when I aimed them toward my goal than showing me that goal already achieved. I felt like the Arabian buried with the dead, who found a path to life with just one faint, seemingly useless light.
I see by your eagerness, and the wonder and hope which your eyes express, my friend, that you expect to be informed of the secret with which I am acquainted; that cannot be: listen patiently until the end of my story, and you will easily perceive why I am reserved upon that subject. I will not lead you on, unguarded and ardent as I then was, to your destruction and infallible misery. Learn from me, if not by my precepts, at least by my example, how dangerous is the acquirement of knowledge, and how much happier that man is who believes his native town to be the world, than he who aspires to become greater than his nature will allow.
I can see your eagerness, and the wonder and hope in your eyes, my friend, shows that you expect to be told the secret I know; that can’t happen. Please listen patiently until I finish my story, and you’ll understand why I hold back on that topic. I don’t want to lead you, as passionate and unguarded as I was back then, to your own destruction and certain misery. Learn from me, if not through my advice, then at least through my experience, how dangerous acquiring knowledge can be, and how much happier someone is who believes their hometown is the whole world rather than someone who aims to become more than their nature allows.
When I found so astonishing a power placed within my hands, I hesitated a long time concerning the manner in which I should employ it. Although I possessed the capacity of bestowing animation, yet to prepare a frame for the reception of it, with all its intricacies of fibres, muscles, and veins, still remained a work of inconceivable difficulty and labour. I doubted at first whether I should attempt the creation of a being like myself or one of simpler organization; but my imagination was too much exalted by my first success to permit me to doubt of my ability to give life to an animal as complex and wonderful as man. The materials at present within my command hardly appeared adequate to so arduous an undertaking; but I doubted not that I should ultimately succeed. I prepared myself for a multitude of reverses; my operations might be incessantly baffled, and at last my work be imperfect: yet, when I considered the improvement which every day takes place in science and mechanics, I was encouraged to hope my present attempts would at least lay the foundations of future success. Nor could I consider the magnitude and complexity of my plan as any argument of its impracticability. It was with these feelings that I began the creation of a human being. As the minuteness of the parts formed a great hindrance to my speed, I resolved, contrary to my first intention, to make the being of a gigantic stature; that is to say, about eight feet in height, and proportionably large. After having formed this determination, and having spent some months in successfully collecting and arranging my materials, I began.
When I discovered such an astonishing power in my hands, I took a long time to think about how to use it. Even though I had the ability to bring life to something, preparing a body to hold that life, with all its complex fibers, muscles, and veins, was still an incredibly difficult and labor-intensive task. I initially questioned whether I should try to create a being like myself or something simpler, but my imagination was too inspired by my initial success to doubt my ability to give life to a creature as intricate and amazing as a human. The materials I had at my disposal didn’t seem sufficient for such a challenging endeavor, but I was confident that I would eventually succeed. I braced myself for many setbacks; my efforts could continually be thwarted, and my final creation might end up flawed. Still, when I considered the daily advancements in science and mechanics, I was hopeful that my current attempts would at least lay the groundwork for future achievements. I didn’t see the size and complexity of my plan as an indication that it was impossible. With these thoughts, I started the creation of a human being. Since the tiny details of the parts slowed me down significantly, I decided, against my original plans, to make the being very large—about eight feet tall, and proportionately big. After making this decision and spending several months carefully gathering and organizing my materials, I began.
No one can conceive the variety of feelings which bore me onwards, like a hurricane, in the first enthusiasm of success. Life and death appeared to me ideal bounds, which I should first break through, and pour a torrent of light into our dark world. A new species would bless me as its creator and source; many happy and excellent natures would owe their being to me. No father could claim the gratitude of his child so completely as I should deserve their’s. Pursuing these reflections, I thought, that if I could bestow animation upon lifeless matter, I might in process of time (although I now found it impossible) renew life where death had apparently devoted the body to corruption.
No one can imagine the mix of emotions that pushed me forward like a storm in the initial excitement of my success. Life and death seemed to me to be ideal limits that I should break through first and then bring a flood of light into our dark world. A new species would honor me as its creator and source; many happy and wonderful lives would owe their existence to me. No father could earn the gratitude of his child as fully as I would deserve theirs. As I reflected on this, I thought that if I could give life to lifeless matter, I might eventually (even though I found it impossible at the time) bring life back where death had seemingly condemned the body to decay.
These thoughts supported my spirits, while I pursued my undertaking with unremitting ardour. My cheek had grown pale with study, and my person had become emaciated with confinement. Sometimes, on the very brink of certainty, I failed; yet still I clung to the hope which the next day or the next hour might realize. One secret which I alone possessed was the hope to which I had dedicated myself; and the moon gazed on my midnight labours, while, with unrelaxed and breathless eagerness, I pursued nature to her hiding places. Who shall conceive the horrors of my secret toil, as I dabbled among the unhallowed damps of the grave, or tortured the living animal to animate the lifeless clay? My limbs now tremble, and my eyes swim with the remembrance; but then a resistless, and almost frantic impulse, urged me forward; I seemed to have lost all soul or sensation but for this one pursuit. It was indeed but a passing trance, that only made me feel with renewed acuteness so soon as, the unnatural stimulus ceasing to operate, I had returned to my old habits. I collected bones from charnel houses; and disturbed, with profane fingers, the tremendous secrets of the human frame. In a solitary chamber, or rather cell, at the top of the house, and separated from all the other apartments by a gallery and staircase, I kept my workshop of filthy creation; my eyeballs were starting from their sockets in attending to the details of my employment. The dissecting room and the slaughter-house furnished many of my materials; and often did my human nature turn with loathing from my occupation, whilst, still urged on by an eagerness which perpetually increased, I brought my work near to a conclusion.
These thoughts lifted my spirits as I pursued my work with relentless passion. My face had grown pale from studying, and I had become thin from being shut away. Sometimes, just when I was on the edge of a breakthrough, I would fail; yet I still held on to the hope that the next day or even the next hour might bring success. One secret I alone held was the hope I had dedicated myself to; and the moon watched over my late-night efforts as I eagerly chased nature into her hidden corners. Who can understand the horrors of my secret labor as I fumbled among the unholy dampness of graves or tortured living creatures to give life to lifeless clay? My limbs now tremble, and my eyes swim with the memory; but back then, a relentless and almost frantic drive pushed me forward; I felt like I had lost all sense of self or feeling except for this single pursuit. It truly was just a fleeting trance that only made me feel more intensely once the unnatural excitement wore off and I returned to my usual habits. I collected bones from graveyards and disturbed, with careless fingers, the terrifying secrets of the human body. In a lonely room, or rather a cell, at the top of the house, isolated from all the other rooms by a hallway and staircase, I kept my workshop of grim creation; my eyes were wide as I focused on the details of my task. The dissecting room and the slaughterhouse provided many of my materials; and often I turned away in disgust from my work, while still driven by an ever-growing eagerness, I brought my project close to completion.
The summer months passed while I was thus engaged, heart and soul, in one pursuit. It was a most beautiful season; never did the fields bestow a more plentiful harvest, or the vines yield a more luxuriant vintage: but my eyes were insensible to the charms of nature. And the same feelings which made me neglect the scenes around me caused me also to forget those friends who were so many miles absent, and whom I had not seen for so long a time. I knew my silence disquieted them; and I well remembered the words of my father: “I know that while you are pleased with yourself, you will think of us with affection, and we shall hear regularly from you. You must pardon me, if I regard any interruption in your correspondence as a proof that your other duties are equally neglected.”
The summer months flew by while I was completely absorbed in one pursuit. It was an incredibly beautiful season; the fields had their best harvest, and the vines produced a rich vintage. But I was blind to nature's beauty. The same feelings that made me ignore my surroundings also made me forget the friends who were so far away, and whom I hadn't seen in a long time. I knew my silence worried them, and I clearly remembered my father's words: “I know that while you are happy with yourself, you'll think of us fondly, and we'll hear from you regularly. Please forgive me if I see any pause in your letters as a sign that you're neglecting your other responsibilities too.”
I knew well therefore what would be my father’s feelings; but I could not tear my thoughts from my employment, loathsome in itself, but which had taken an irresistible hold of my imagination. I wished, as it were, to procrastinate all that related to my feelings of affection until the great object, which swallowed up every habit of my nature, should be completed.
I knew very well what my father would feel, but I couldn’t pull my thoughts away from my work, which I found disgusting in itself, yet it had a grip on my imagination that I couldn’t escape. I wanted to put off everything related to my feelings until the big goal, which consumed every part of my nature, was finished.
I then thought that my father would be unjust if he ascribed my neglect to vice, or faultiness on my part; but I am now convinced that he was justified in conceiving that I should not be altogether free from blame. A human being in perfection ought always to preserve a calm and peaceful mind, and never to allow passion or a transitory desire to disturb his tranquillity. I do not think that the pursuit of knowledge is an exception to this rule. If the study to which you apply yourself has a tendency to weaken your affections, and to destroy your taste for those simple pleasures in which no alloy can possibly mix, then that study is certainly unlawful, that is to say, not befitting the human mind. If this rule were always observed; if no man allowed any pursuit whatsoever to interfere with the tranquillity of his domestic affections, Greece had not been enslaved; Cæsar would have spared his country; America would have been discovered more gradually; and the empires of Mexico and Peru had not been destroyed.
I then thought it was unfair for my father to blame my neglect on my character or faults, but now I believe he had a point in thinking I wasn't completely innocent. A truly perfect person should always maintain a calm and peaceful mind, never letting passion or temporary desires disturb their tranquility. I don’t think the pursuit of knowledge is an exception to this principle. If the study you commit to tends to weaken your affections and diminish your enjoyment of those simple pleasures that are pure and untainted, then that study is definitely inappropriate for the human mind. If people consistently followed this rule; if no one allowed any pursuit to interfere with the peace of their domestic relationships, Greece would not have been conquered; Cæsar would have spared his homeland; America would have been discovered more gradually; and the empires of Mexico and Peru would not have been destroyed.
But I forget that I am moralizing in the most interesting part of my tale; and your looks remind me to proceed.
But I completely forget that I'm getting all philosophical during the most exciting part of my story; your expressions are nudging me to continue.
My father made no reproach in his letters; and only took notice of my silence by inquiring into my occupations more particularly than before. Winter, spring, and summer, passed away during my labours; but I did not watch the blossom or the expanding leaves—sights which before always yielded me supreme delight, so deeply was I engrossed in my occupation. The leaves of that year had withered before my work drew near to a close; and now every day shewed me more plainly how well I had succeeded. But my enthusiasm was checked by my anxiety, and I appeared rather like one doomed by slavery to toil in the mines, or any other unwholesome trade, than an artist occupied by his favourite employment. Every night I was oppressed by a slow fever, and I became nervous to a most painful degree; a disease that I regretted the more because I had hitherto enjoyed most excellent health, and had always boasted of the firmness of my nerves. But I believed that exercise and amusement would soon drive away such symptoms; and I promised myself both of these, when my creation should be complete.
My father didn’t blame me in his letters; he just addressed my silence by asking more specifically about what I was doing. Winter, spring, and summer passed while I worked; I didn’t notice the blossoms or the budding leaves—things that used to bring me immense joy—because I was so absorbed in my work. The leaves that year had fallen before I finished my project, and each day made it clearer how well I had done. But my excitement was tempered by anxiety, and I felt more like someone forced into harsh labor than an artist immersed in a beloved task. Every night I was weighed down by a lingering fever, and I became painfully nervous—something I regretted even more since I had always enjoyed great health and prided myself on my strong nerves. Still, I thought that exercise and fun would soon alleviate these symptoms, and I promised myself both once my creation was complete.
CHAPTER IV.
It was on a dreary night of November, that I beheld the accomplishment of my toils. With an anxiety that almost amounted to agony, I collected the instruments of life around me, that I might infuse a spark of being into the lifeless thing that lay at my feet. It was already one in the morning; the rain pattered dismally against the panes, and my candle was nearly burnt out, when, by the glimmer of the half-extinguished light, I saw the dull yellow eye of the creature open; it breathed hard, and a convulsive motion agitated its limbs.
It was a gloomy night in November when I finally saw the results of my hard work. With anxiety that felt almost unbearable, I gathered the tools of life around me, hoping to bring a spark of existence to the lifeless body lying at my feet. It was already one in the morning; the rain was pattering sadly against the windows, and my candle was almost burnt out, when, by the flickering light, I saw the creature's dull yellow eye open; it gasped for air, and its limbs twitched with a convulsive movement.
How can I describe my emotions at this catastrophe, or how delineate the wretch whom with such infinite pains and care I had endeavoured to form? His limbs were in proportion, and I had selected his features as beautiful. Beautiful!—Great God! His yellow skin scarcely covered the work of muscles and arteries beneath; his hair was of a lustrous black, and flowing; his teeth of a pearly whiteness; but these luxuriances only formed a more horrid contrast with his watery eyes, that seemed almost of the same colour as the dun white sockets in which they were set, his shrivelled complexion, and straight black lips.
How can I explain my feelings about this disaster, or how can I describe the unfortunate creature I worked so hard to create? His body was well-proportioned, and I had chosen his features to be beautiful. Beautiful!—Oh my God! His yellow skin barely covered the muscles and arteries underneath; his hair was shiny black and flowing; his teeth were pearly white; but these traits only made the ugly contrast with his watery eyes, which looked almost the same color as the dull white sockets they were set in, his wrinkled skin, and his straight black lips.
The different accidents of life are not so changeable as the feelings of human nature. I had worked hard for nearly two years, for the sole purpose of infusing life into an inanimate body. For this I had deprived myself of rest and health. I had desired it with an ardour that far exceeded moderation; but now that I had finished, the beauty of the dream vanished, and breathless horror and disgust filled my heart. Unable to endure the aspect of the being I had created, I rushed out of the room, and continued a long time traversing my bed-chamber, unable to compose my mind to sleep. At length lassitude succeeded to the tumult I had before endured; and I threw myself on the bed in my clothes, endeavouring to seek a few moments of forgetfulness. But it was in vain: I slept indeed, but I was disturbed by the wildest dreams. I thought I saw Elizabeth, in the bloom of health, walking in the streets of Ingolstadt. Delighted and surprised, I embraced her; but as I imprinted the first kiss on her lips, they became livid with the hue of death; her features appeared to change, and I thought that I held the corpse of my dead mother in my arms; a shroud enveloped her form, and I saw the grave-worms crawling in the folds of the flannel. I started from my sleep with horror; a cold dew covered my forehead, my teeth chattered, and every limb became convulsed; when, by the dim and yellow light of the moon, as it forced its way through the window-shutters, I beheld the wretch—the miserable monster whom I had created. He held up the curtain of the bed; and his eyes, if eyes they may be called, were fixed on me. His jaws opened, and he muttered some inarticulate sounds, while a grin wrinkled his cheeks. He might have spoken, but I did not hear; one hand was stretched out, seemingly to detain me, but I escaped, and rushed down stairs. I took refuge in the court-yard belonging to the house which I inhabited; where I remained during the rest of the night, walking up and down in the greatest agitation, listening attentively, catching and fearing each sound as if it were to announce the approach of the demoniacal corpse to which I had so miserably given life.
The various twists of life aren't as unpredictable as human emotions. I had toiled for nearly two years, solely to bring life to a lifeless body. In doing so, I had sacrificed my rest and health. I wanted it so passionately that it went beyond what was reasonable; but now that I had completed my work, the beauty of that dream faded away, replaced by a chilling horror and disgust that filled my heart. Unable to stand the sight of the being I had created, I bolted from the room and spent a long time pacing my bedroom, unable to calm my mind enough to sleep. Eventually, exhaustion took over after the turmoil I'd experienced, and I collapsed onto my bed still in my clothes, trying to find a few moments of escape. But it was useless: I did fall asleep, yet I was haunted by the wildest dreams. I thought I saw Elizabeth, looking vibrant and healthy, walking through the streets of Ingolstadt. Overjoyed and astonished, I embraced her; but when I kissed her lips, they turned pale like those of the dead; her features began to shift, and I felt as if I was holding my deceased mother in my arms; a shroud wrapped around her body, and I saw grave worms crawling in the folds of the fabric. I jolted awake in terror; a cold sweat soaked my forehead, my teeth chattered, and every muscle twitched; then, in the dim, yellow light of the moon filtering through the shutters, I saw the wretch—the miserable monster I had created. He drew back the bed curtain, and his eyes, if you could call them eyes, were fixed on me. His jaw dropped, and he mumbled some indistinct sounds, while a grin twisted his cheeks. He might have spoken, but I didn't hear. One hand reached out as if to hold me back, but I broke free and dashed downstairs. I sought refuge in the courtyard of the house I lived in, where I spent the rest of the night, pacing nervously, listening intently, starting at every sound as if it announced the arrival of the monstrous corpse I had so wretchedly animated.
Oh! no mortal could support the horror of that countenance. A mummy again endued with animation could not be so hideous as that wretch. I had gazed on him while unfinished; he was ugly then; but when those muscles and joints were rendered capable of motion, it became a thing such as even Dante could not have conceived.
Oh! No human could bear the horror of that face. A mummy brought back to life wouldn't be as terrifying as that creature. I had looked at him when he was still unfinished; he was ugly then, but once those muscles and joints were able to move, he became something even Dante couldn't have imagined.
I passed the night wretchedly. Sometimes my pulse beat so quickly and hardly, that I felt the palpitation of every artery; at others, I nearly sank to the ground through languor and extreme weakness. Mingled with this horror, I felt the bitterness of disappointment: dreams that had been my food and pleasant rest for so long a space, were now become a hell to me; and the change was so rapid, the overthrow so complete!
I spent the night in misery. Sometimes my heart raced so fast and hard that I could feel every pulse in my veins; at other times, I almost collapsed from exhaustion and weakness. Along with this horror, I experienced the sting of disappointment: dreams that had nourished me and brought me comfort for so long had now turned into a nightmare; and the switch was so sudden, the downfall so total!
Morning, dismal and wet, at length dawned, and discovered to my sleepless and aching eyes the church of Ingolstadt, its white steeple and clock, which indicated the sixth hour. The porter opened the gates of the court, which had that night been my asylum, and I issued into the streets, pacing them with quick steps, as if I sought to avoid the wretch whom I feared every turning of the street would present to my view. I did not dare return to the apartment which I inhabited, but felt impelled to hurry on, although wetted by the rain, which poured from a black and comfortless sky.
Morning, gloomy and wet, finally broke, revealing to my restless and aching eyes the church of Ingolstadt, with its white steeple and clock, showing the sixth hour. The porter opened the gates of the courtyard, where I had found refuge the night before, and I stepped out into the streets, walking quickly as if I wanted to avoid the wretch I feared would appear at any moment. I didn’t dare return to my apartment, but felt driven to keep moving, even as the rain poured down from a dark and unforgiving sky.
I continued walking in this manner for some time, endeavouring, by bodily exercise, to ease the load that weighed upon my mind. I traversed the streets, without any clear conception of where I was, or what I was doing. My heart palpitated in the sickness of fear; and I hurried on with irregular steps, not daring to look about me:
I kept walking like this for a while, trying to relieve the burden on my mind through physical activity. I wandered through the streets, without any clear idea of where I was or what I was doing. My heart raced with fear, and I rushed on with uneven steps, not daring to look around me.
Walk in fear and dread, And after turning around once, continues to walk, And no longer turns his head; Because he knows a terrifying demon Closes behind him.
Continuing thus, I came at length opposite to the inn at which the various diligences and carriages usually stopped. Here I paused, I knew not why; but I remained some minutes with my eyes fixed on a coach that was coming towards me from the other end of the street. As it drew nearer, I observed that it was the Swiss diligence: it stopped just where I was standing; and, on the door being opened, I perceived Henry Clerval, who, on seeing me, instantly sprung out. “My dear Frankenstein,” exclaimed he, “how glad I am to see you! how fortunate that you should be here at the very moment of my alighting!”
Continuing on, I eventually found myself in front of the inn where the various stagecoaches and carriages usually parked. Here I paused, though I wasn’t sure why; I stood for a few minutes, my eyes fixed on a coach approaching me from the other end of the street. As it got closer, I realized it was the Swiss stagecoach: it stopped right where I was standing, and when the door opened, I saw Henry Clerval, who immediately jumped out upon seeing me. “My dear Frankenstein,” he exclaimed, “I’m so glad to see you! How lucky that you’re here at the exact moment I arrived!”
Nothing could equal my delight on seeing Clerval; his presence brought back to my thoughts my father, Elizabeth, and all those scenes of home so dear to my recollection. I grasped his hand, and in a moment forgot my horror and misfortune; I felt suddenly, and for the first time during many months, calm and serene joy. I welcomed my friend, therefore, in the most cordial manner, and we walked towards my college. Clerval continued talking for some time about our mutual friends, and his own good fortune in being permitted to come to Ingolstadt. “You may easily believe,” said he, “how great was the difficulty to persuade my father that it was not absolutely necessary for a merchant not to understand any thing except book-keeping; and, indeed, I believe I left him incredulous to the last, for his constant answer to my unwearied entreaties was the same as that of the Dutch schoolmaster in the Vicar of Wakefield: ‘I have ten thousand florins a year without Greek, I eat heartily without Greek.’ But his affection for me at length overcame his dislike of learning, and he has permitted me to undertake a voyage of discovery to the land of knowledge.”
Nothing could match my joy at seeing Clerval; his presence reminded me of my father, Elizabeth, and all those cherished memories of home. I took his hand, and for a moment, I forgot my horror and misfortune; I suddenly felt, for the first time in many months, a calm and serene joy. I warmly welcomed my friend, and we headed towards my college. Clerval chatted for a while about our mutual friends and his good luck in being able to come to Ingolstadt. “You can imagine,” he said, “how hard it was to convince my father that a merchant doesn’t need to know anything other than bookkeeping; in fact, I think I left him still in disbelief, as his constant response to my persistent pleas was just like that of the Dutch schoolmaster in the Vicar of Wakefield: ‘I have ten thousand florins a year without Greek, I eat heartily without Greek.’ But eventually, his love for me overcame his aversion to learning, and he allowed me to go on a journey of discovery to the land of knowledge.”
“It gives me the greatest delight to see you; but tell me how you left my father, brothers, and Elizabeth.”
“It makes me really happy to see you; but please tell me how my father, brothers, and Elizabeth are doing.”
“Very well, and very happy, only a little uneasy that they hear from you so seldom. By the bye, I mean to lecture you a little upon their account myself.—But, my dear Frankenstein,” continued he, stopping short, and gazing full in my face, “I did not before remark how very ill you appear; so thin and pale; you look as if you had been watching for several nights.”
"Everything's good and I'm happy, but I’m a bit concerned that they don’t hear from you very often. By the way, I plan to talk to you a bit about that myself.—But, my dear Frankenstein," he continued, pausing and looking me straight in the eye, "I didn’t notice before how ill you look; you’re so thin and pale. You seem like you’ve been staying up for several nights."
“You have guessed right; I have lately been so deeply engaged in one occupation, that I have not allowed myself sufficient rest, as you see: but I hope, I sincerely hope, that all these employments are now at an end, and that I am at length free.”
“You're right; I've been so caught up in one thing lately that I haven't given myself enough time to rest, as you can see. But I hope, truly hope, that all this busyness is finally over and that I'm finally free.”
I trembled excessively; I could not endure to think of, and far less to allude to the occurrences of the preceding night. I walked with a quick pace, and we soon arrived at my college. I then reflected, and the thought made me shiver, that the creature whom I had left in my apartment might still be there, alive, and walking about. I dreaded to behold this monster; but I feared still more that Henry should see him. Entreating him therefore to remain a few minutes at the bottom of the stairs, I darted up towards my own room. My hand was already on the lock of the door before I recollected myself. I then paused; and a cold shivering came over me. I threw the door forcibly open, as children are accustomed to do when they expect a spectre to stand in waiting for them on the other side; but nothing appeared. I stepped fearfully in: the apartment was empty; and my bedroom was also freed from its hideous guest. I could hardly believe that so great a good-fortune could have befallen me; but when I became assured that my enemy had indeed fled, I clapped my hands for joy, and ran down to Clerval.
I was shaking a lot; I couldn’t stand to think about, let alone mention, what happened the night before. I walked quickly, and we soon reached my college. Then I realized with a shiver that the creature I had left in my room might still be there, alive and moving around. I was terrified to see this monster; even more, I was scared that Henry might see him. So, I asked him to wait a few minutes at the bottom of the stairs while I rushed up to my room. My hand was already on the doorknob when I paused. A chill ran through me. I swung the door open forcefully, like kids do when they expect a ghost to be waiting on the other side; but nothing was there. I stepped inside cautiously: the room was empty, and my bedroom was free of its horrifying guest. I could hardly believe I had such incredible luck; but once I was sure my enemy had really fled, I clapped my hands in joy and ran down to Clerval.
We ascended into my room, and the servant presently brought breakfast; but I was unable to contain myself. It was not joy only that possessed me; I felt my flesh tingle with excess of sensitiveness, and my pulse beat rapidly. I was unable to remain for a single instant in the same place; I jumped over the chairs, clapped my hands, and laughed aloud. Clerval at first attributed my unusual spirits to joy on his arrival; but when he observed me more attentively, he saw a wildness in my eyes for which he could not account; and my loud, unrestrained, heartless laughter, frightened and astonished him.
We went up to my room, and the servant quickly brought breakfast; but I couldn't hold myself together. I wasn't just happy; my body was buzzing with sensitivity, and my heart was racing. I couldn't stay still for even a second; I jumped over the chairs, clapped my hands, and laughed out loud. Clerval initially thought my unusual energy was just excitement for his arrival; but when he looked at me more closely, he noticed a wildness in my eyes that he couldn’t explain, and my loud, uncontrolled, joyful laughter scared and surprised him.
“My dear Victor,” cried he, “what, for God’s sake, is the matter? Do not laugh in that manner. How ill you are! What is the cause of all this?”
“My dear Victor,” he exclaimed, “what on earth is wrong? Don’t laugh like that. You look so unwell! What’s causing all this?”
“Do not ask me,” cried I, putting my hands before my eyes, for I thought I saw the dreaded spectre glide into the room; “he can tell.—Oh, save me! save me!” I imagined that the monster seized me; I struggled furiously, and fell down in a fit.
“Don’t ask me,” I shouted, covering my eyes with my hands, because I thought I saw the terrifying ghost slip into the room; “he can tell.—Oh, help me! help me!” I felt like the monster was grabbing me; I fought desperately and collapsed in a fit.
Poor Clerval! what must have been his feelings? A meeting, which he anticipated with such joy, so strangely turned to bitterness. But I was not the witness of his grief; for I was lifeless, and did not recover my senses for a long, long time.
Poor Clerval! What must he have felt? A meeting that he looked forward to with so much joy turned into something so bitter. But I wasn’t there to see his grief; I was lifeless and didn’t regain my senses for a long, long time.
This was the commencement of a nervous fever, which confined me for several months. During all that time Henry was my only nurse. I afterwards learned that, knowing my father’s advanced age, and unfitness for so long a journey, and how wretched my sickness would make Elizabeth, he spared them this grief by concealing the extent of my disorder. He knew that I could not have a more kind and attentive nurse than himself; and, firm in the hope he felt of my recovery, he did not doubt that, instead of doing harm, he performed the kindest action that he could towards them.
This marked the start of a severe fever that kept me bedridden for several months. During that entire time, Henry was my only caregiver. Later, I found out that he chose to hide the seriousness of my illness from my father, who was too old and frail for such a long journey, and from Elizabeth, who would have been heartbroken by my condition. He believed that he could be the most caring and attentive nurse for me, and with his strong hope for my recovery, he was convinced that by shielding them from the truth, he was actually doing the kindest thing he could for them.
But I was in reality very ill; and surely nothing but the unbounded and unremitting attentions of my friend could have restored me to life. The form of the monster on whom I had bestowed existence was for ever before my eyes, and I raved incessantly concerning him. Doubtless my words surprised Henry: he at first believed them to be the wanderings of my disturbed imagination; but the pertinacity with which I continually recurred to the same subject persuaded him that my disorder indeed owed its origin to some uncommon and terrible event.
But I was actually very sick; and nothing besides the endless and constant care of my friend could have brought me back to life. The image of the creature I had created was always in my mind, and I kept talking about him non-stop. Naturally, my words surprised Henry: at first, he thought they were just the ramblings of my troubled mind; but the way I kept returning to the same topic convinced him that my illness was truly the result of something unusual and horrific.
By very slow degrees, and with frequent relapses, that alarmed and grieved my friend, I recovered. I remember the first time I became capable of observing outward objects with any kind of pleasure, I perceived that the fallen leaves had disappeared, and that the young buds were shooting forth from the trees that shaded my window. It was a divine spring; and the season contributed greatly to my convalescence. I felt also sentiments of joy and affection revive in my bosom; my gloom disappeared, and in a short time I became as cheerful as before I was attacked by the fatal passion.
Gradually, and with frequent setbacks that worried and upset my friend, I started to recover. I remember the first moment I was able to appreciate the world around me again; I noticed that the fallen leaves had disappeared and that young buds were growing on the trees outside my window. It was a beautiful spring, and the season played a big role in my recovery. I also felt feelings of joy and love returning to my heart; my sadness faded, and soon I was as cheerful as I was before I was struck by that overwhelming emotion.
“Dearest Clerval,” exclaimed I, “how kind, how very good you are to me. This whole winter, instead of being spent in study, as you promised yourself, has been consumed in my sick room. How shall I ever repay you? I feel the greatest remorse for the disappointment of which I have been the occasion; but you will forgive me.”
“Dear Clerval,” I said, “how kind and good you are to me. This entire winter, instead of being spent studying as you planned, has been wasted in my sick room. How will I ever repay you? I feel so guilty for the disappointment I’ve caused you, but I hope you can forgive me.”
“You will repay me entirely, if you do not discompose yourself, but get well as fast as you can; and since you appear in such good spirits, I may speak to you on one subject, may I not?”
"You will pay me back completely if you stay calm and recover as quickly as you can; and since you seem to be in such good spirits, I can talk to you about one thing, right?"
I trembled. One subject! what could it be? Could he allude to an object on whom I dared not even think?
I was shaking. One topic! What could it be? Could he be referring to something I couldn’t even bear to think about?
“Compose yourself,” said Clerval, who observed my change of colour, “I will not mention it, if it agitates you; but your father and cousin would be very happy if they received a letter from you in your own hand-writing. They hardly know how ill you have been, and are uneasy at your long silence.”
“Calm down,” said Clerval, noticing my change in color. “I won’t bring it up if it’s upsetting you, but your dad and cousin would be really happy to get a letter from you in your own handwriting. They barely know how sick you’ve been and are worried about your long silence.”
“Is that all? my dear Henry. How could you suppose that my first thought would not fly towards those dear, dear friends whom I love, and who are so deserving of my love.”
“Is that it, my dear Henry? How could you think that my first instinct wouldn’t be to think of those beloved friends of mine, whom I love and who truly deserve my love?”
“If this is your present temper, my friend, you will perhaps be glad to see a letter that has been lying here some days for you: it is from your cousin, I believe.”
“If this is how you're feeling right now, my friend, you might be happy to see a letter that's been here for a few days waiting for you: I think it's from your cousin.”
CHAPTER V.
Clerval then put the following letter into my hands.
Clerval then handed me the following letter.
“To V. Frankenstein.
“To V. Frankenstein.”
“My Dear Cousin,
“Hey Cousin,
“I cannot describe to you the uneasiness we have all felt concerning your health. We cannot help imagining that your friend Clerval conceals the extent of your disorder: for it is now several months since we have seen your hand-writing; and all this time you have been obliged to dictate your letters to Henry. Surely, Victor, you must have been exceedingly ill; and this makes us all very wretched, as much so nearly as after the death of your dear mother. My uncle was almost persuaded that you were indeed dangerously ill, and could hardly be restrained from undertaking a journey to Ingolstadt. Clerval always writes that you are getting better; I eagerly hope that you will confirm this intelligence soon in your own hand-writing; for indeed, indeed, Victor, we are all very miserable on this account. Relieve us from this fear, and we shall be the happiest creatures in the world. Your father’s health is now so vigorous, that he appears ten years younger since last winter. Ernest also is so much improved, that you would hardly know him: he is now nearly sixteen, and has lost that sickly appearance which he had some years ago; he is grown quite robust and active.
"I can’t explain the worry we've all felt about your health. We can't help but think that your friend Clerval is downplaying the seriousness of your condition: it's been several months since we've seen your handwriting, and during this time, you've had to dictate your letters to Henry. Surely, Victor, you must have been really unwell; this makes us all very unhappy, almost as much as we were after your dear mother's death. My uncle was almost convinced that you were dangerously ill and could hardly be stopped from heading to Ingolstadt. Clerval always writes that you're improving; I really hope you'll confirm this yourself soon with your own handwriting because, honestly, Victor, we’re all very upset about this. Ease our worries, and we’ll be the happiest people in the world. Your father’s health is so strong now that he seems ten years younger since last winter. Ernest has improved so much that you wouldn’t even recognize him: he's nearly sixteen now and has lost that frail look he had a few years ago; he's become quite strong and active."
“My uncle and I conversed a long time last night about what profession Ernest should follow. His constant illness when young has deprived him of the habits of application; and now that he enjoys good health, he is continually in the open air, climbing the hills, or rowing on the lake. I therefore proposed that he should be a farmer; which you know, Cousin, is a favourite scheme of mine. A farmer’s is a very healthy happy life; and the least hurtful, or rather the most beneficial profession of any. My uncle had an idea of his being educated as an advocate, that through his interest he might become a judge. But, besides that he is not at all fitted for such an occupation, it is certainly more creditable to cultivate the earth for the sustenance of man, than to be the confidant, and sometimes the accomplice, of his vices; which is the profession of a lawyer. I said, that the employments of a prosperous farmer, if they were not a more honourable, they were at least a happier species of occupation than that of a judge, whose misfortune it was always to meddle with the dark side of human nature. My uncle smiled, and said, that I ought to be an advocate myself, which put an end to the conversation on that subject.
"My uncle and I talked for a long time last night about what career Ernest should pursue. His ongoing illness during childhood kept him from developing study habits, and now that he's healthy, he spends all his time outside, climbing hills or rowing on the lake. So, I suggested he become a farmer, which you know, Cousin, is one of my favorite ideas. Being a farmer is a really healthy and happy life; it’s the least harmful, or rather the most beneficial profession there is. My uncle thought he should train to be a lawyer, so he could use his connections to become a judge. But besides the fact that he’s not suited for such a job, it’s definitely more honorable to work the land and produce food for people than to be the confidant, and sometimes the enabler, of their flaws, which is what lawyers do. I argued that the work of a successful farmer, if not more honorable, is at least a happier kind of job than that of a judge, who is always stuck dealing with the darker aspects of human nature. My uncle smiled and said that I should be a lawyer myself, which ended the conversation on that topic."
“And now I must tell you a little story that will please, and perhaps amuse you. Do you not remember Justine Moritz? Probably you do not; I will relate her history, therefore, in a few words. Madame Moritz, her mother, was a widow with four children, of whom Justine was the third. This girl had always been the favourite of her father; but, through a strange perversity, her mother could not endure her, and, after the death of M. Moritz, treated her very ill. My aunt observed this; and, when Justine was twelve years of age, prevailed on her mother to allow her to live at her house. The republican institutions of our country have produced simpler and happier manners than those which prevail in the great monarchies that surround it. Hence there is less distinction between the several classes of its inhabitants; and the lower orders being neither so poor nor so despised, their manners are more refined and moral. A servant in Geneva does not mean the same thing as a servant in France and England. Justine, thus received in our family, learned the duties of a servant; a condition which, in our fortunate country, does not include the idea of ignorance, and a sacrifice of the dignity of a human being.
“And now I have a little story to share that I hope will please and maybe even amuse you. Do you remember Justine Moritz? Probably not; so let me quickly tell you her story. Madame Moritz, her mother, was a widow with four children, and Justine was the third. This girl had always been her father's favorite, but oddly enough, her mother couldn't stand her, and after M. Moritz passed away, she treated Justine very poorly. My aunt noticed this, and when Justine was twelve, she convinced her mother to let Justine live at her house. The republican values of our country have led to simpler and happier social interactions compared to the big monarchies around us. Because of this, there's less division between social classes, and the lower classes are neither as poor nor looked down upon, so their behavior is generally more refined and moral. A servant in Geneva doesn’t carry the same connotations as it does in France and England. Justine, welcomed into our family, learned the responsibilities of a servant; a role that, in our fortunate country, doesn’t imply ignorance or a loss of human dignity.”
“After what I have said, I dare say you well remember the heroine of my little tale: for Justine was a great favourite of your’s; and I recollect you once remarked, that if you were in an ill-humour, one glance from Justine could dissipate it, for the same reason that Ariosto gives concerning the beauty of Angelica—she looked so frank-hearted and happy. My aunt conceived a great attachment for her, by which she was induced to give her an education superior to that which she had at first intended. This benefit was fully repaid; Justine was the most grateful little creature in the world: I do not mean that she made any professions, I never heard one pass her lips; but you could see by her eyes that she almost adored her protectress. Although her disposition was gay, and in many respects inconsiderate, yet she paid the greatest attention to every gesture of my aunt. She thought her the model of all excellence, and endeavoured to imitate her phraseology and manners, so that even now she often reminds me of her.
“After what I’ve said, I’m sure you remember the heroine of my little story: Justine was one of your favorites; I recall you once mentioned that if you were in a bad mood, one look from Justine could lift it, just like Ariosto says about the beauty of Angelica—she looked so genuine and happy. My aunt grew very fond of her, which led her to provide a better education than she originally planned. Justine fully repaid this kindness; she was the most grateful person you could imagine: I don’t mean she made any declarations, I never heard her say one; but you could see in her eyes that she almost idolized her protector. Although she had a cheerful nature and could be thoughtless at times, she paid great attention to every gesture of my aunt. She viewed her as the ideal of perfection and tried hard to mimic her speech and mannerisms, so even now she often reminds me of her.”
“When my dearest aunt died, every one was too much occupied in their own grief to notice poor Justine, who had attended her during her illness with the most anxious affection. Poor Justine was very ill; but other trials were reserved for her.
“When my beloved aunt passed away, everyone was too caught up in their own sorrow to notice poor Justine, who had cared for her during her illness with the deepest affection. Poor Justine was very sick; but more hardships were in store for her."
“One by one, her brothers and sister died; and her mother, with the exception of her neglected daughter, was left childless. The conscience of the woman was troubled; she began to think that the deaths of her favourites was a judgment from heaven to chastise her partiality. She was a Roman Catholic; and I believe her confessor confirmed the idea which she had conceived. Accordingly, a few months after your departure for Ingolstadt, Justine was called home by her repentant mother. Poor girl! she wept when she quitted our house: she was much altered since the death of my aunt; grief had given softness and a winning mildness to her manners, which had before been remarkable for vivacity. Nor was her residence at her mother’s house of a nature to restore her gaiety. The poor woman was very vacillating in her repentance. She sometimes begged Justine to forgive her unkindness, but much oftener accused her of having caused the deaths of her brothers and sister. Perpetual fretting at length threw Madame Moritz into a decline, which at first increased her irritability, but she is now at peace for ever. She died on the first approach of cold weather, at the beginning of this last winter. Justine has returned to us; and I assure you I love her tenderly. She is very clever and gentle, and extremely pretty; as I mentioned before, her mien and her expressions continually remind me of my dear aunt.
One by one, her brothers and sister passed away, leaving her mother childless except for her neglected daughter. The woman felt guilty; she started to believe that the deaths of her favorite children were a punishment from above for her favoritism. She was a Roman Catholic, and I think her confessor supported this idea she had. So, a few months after you left for Ingolstadt, Justine was called back home by her remorseful mother. Poor girl! She cried when she left our house: she had changed a lot since my aunt's death; her grief had brought a softness and gentle charm to her personality, which had previously been known for its liveliness. Her time at her mother’s house didn't help restore her cheerfulness. The poor woman was very inconsistent in her remorse. Sometimes she asked Justine to forgive her for being unkind, but much more often, she accused her of causing the deaths of her brothers and sister. Constant worry eventually led Madame Moritz into a decline, which at first made her even more irritable, but she is now at peace forever. She died as the cold weather approached, at the start of last winter. Justine has returned to us, and I assure you I care for her deeply. She is very bright and kind, and extremely pretty; as I mentioned before, her demeanor and expressions constantly remind me of my dear aunt.
“I must say also a few words to you, my dear cousin, of little darling William. I wish you could see him; he is very tall of his age, with sweet laughing blue eyes, dark eye-lashes, and curling hair. When he smiles, two little dimples appear on each cheek, which are rosy with health. He has already had one or two little wives, but Louisa Biron is his favourite, a pretty little girl of five years of age.
“I must also say a few words to you, my dear cousin, about little darling William. I wish you could see him; he is very tall for his age, with sweet laughing blue eyes, dark eyelashes, and curly hair. When he smiles, two little dimples show up on each cheek, which are rosy with health. He has already had one or two little wives, but Louisa Biron is his favorite, a pretty little girl who is five years old.”
“Now, dear Victor, I dare say you wish to be indulged in a little gossip concerning the good people of Geneva. The pretty Miss Mansfield has already received the congratulatory visits on her approaching marriage with a young Englishman, John Melbourne, Esq. Her ugly sister, Manon, married M. Duvillard, the rich banker, last autumn. Your favourite schoolfellow, Louis Manoir, has suffered several misfortunes since the departure of Clerval from Geneva. But he has already recovered his spirits, and is reported to be on the point of marrying a very lively pretty Frenchwoman, Madame Tavernier. She is a widow, and much older than Manoir; but she is very much admired, and a favourite with every body.
“Now, dear Victor, I suppose you want to hear some gossip about the nice folks in Geneva. The lovely Miss Mansfield has already started receiving congratulatory visits for her upcoming marriage to a young Englishman, John Melbourne, Esq. Her not-so-attractive sister, Manon, married M. Duvillard, the wealthy banker, last autumn. Your favorite school friend, Louis Manoir, has gone through several tough times since Clerval left Geneva. But he’s already bounced back and is said to be on the verge of marrying a very lively and pretty Frenchwoman, Madame Tavernier. She’s a widow and quite a bit older than Manoir, but she’s very popular and adored by everyone.”
“I have written myself into good spirits, dear cousin; yet I cannot conclude without again anxiously inquiring concerning your health. Dear Victor, if you are not very ill, write yourself, and make your father and all of us happy; or——I cannot bear to think of the other side of the question; my tears already flow. Adieu, my dearest cousin.”
“I’ve managed to lift my spirits, dear cousin; however, I can’t finish without again anxiously asking about your health. Dear Victor, if you’re not too sick, please write back and make your father and all of us happy; or—I can’t stand to consider the alternative; my tears are already flowing. Goodbye, my dearest cousin.”
“Elizabeth Lavenza.
“Liz Lavenza.
“Geneva, March 18th, 17—.”
“Geneva, March 18, 17—.”
“Dear, dear Elizabeth!” I exclaimed when I had read her letter, “I will write instantly, and relieve them from the anxiety they must feel.” I wrote, and this exertion greatly fatigued me; but my convalescence had commenced, and proceeded regularly. In another fortnight I was able to leave my chamber.
“Dear, dear Elizabeth!” I exclaimed after reading her letter, “I’ll write right away and ease their worries.” I wrote, and this effort really tired me out; but my recovery had begun and was progressing steadily. In another two weeks, I was able to leave my room.
One of my first duties on my recovery was to introduce Clerval to the several professors of the university. In doing this, I underwent a kind of rough usage, ill befitting the wounds that my mind had sustained. Ever since the fatal night, the end of my labours, and the beginning of my misfortunes, I had conceived a violent antipathy even to the name of natural philosophy. When I was otherwise quite restored to health, the sight of a chemical instrument would renew all the agony of my nervous symptoms. Henry saw this, and had removed all my apparatus from my view. He had also changed my apartment; for he perceived that I had acquired a dislike for the room which had previously been my laboratory. But these cares of Clerval were made of no avail when I visited the professors. M. Waldman inflicted torture when he praised, with kindness and warmth, the astonishing progress I had made in the sciences. He soon perceived that I disliked the subject; but, not guessing the real cause, he attributed my feelings to modesty, and changed the subject from my improvement to the science itself, with a desire, as I evidently saw, of drawing me out. What could I do? He meant to please, and he tormented me. I felt as if he had placed carefully, one by one, in my view those instruments which were to be afterwards used in putting me to a slow and cruel death. I writhed under his words, yet dared not exhibit the pain I felt. Clerval, whose eyes and feelings were always quick in discerning the sensations of others, declined the subject, alleging, in excuse, his total ignorance; and the conversation took a more general turn. I thanked my friend from my heart, but I did not speak. I saw plainly that he was surprised, but he never attempted to draw my secret from me; and although I loved him with a mixture of affection and reverence that knew no bounds, yet I could never persuade myself to confide to him that event which was so often present to my recollection, but which I feared the detail to another would only impress more deeply.
One of my first responsibilities during my recovery was to introduce Clerval to the various professors at the university. In doing this, I went through a sort of rough treatment that was completely inappropriate given the wounds my mind had suffered. Ever since that fateful night, which marked the end of my hard work and the start of my troubles, I had developed a strong dislike even for the term "natural philosophy." Even when I was feeling better, just seeing a chemical instrument would bring back all the agony of my nervous symptoms. Henry noticed this and removed all my equipment from sight. He also changed my room since he realized I had grown to dislike the space that had once been my lab. But Clerval's efforts didn't work when I met the professors. M. Waldman tortured me with his enthusiastic praise for the incredible progress I had made in my studies. He quickly picked up on my discomfort with the topic, but not knowing the real reason, he thought my feelings were just modesty and shifted the conversation from my achievements to the subject of science itself, clearly wanting to engage me. What could I do? He was trying to be nice, but he was making me suffer. It felt like he was deliberately placing in front of me those instruments that would later be used to slowly and cruelly kill me. I squirmed at his words but didn’t dare show the pain I was feeling. Clerval, who was always quick to notice others' emotions, steered the conversation away, claiming ignorance as an excuse, and things shifted to a more general topic. I was deeply grateful to my friend, but I couldn't speak. I could see he was taken aback, but he never tried to pry my secret from me; and even though I loved him with a deep mix of affection and respect that knew no bounds, I could never bring myself to share with him that event which was always in my thoughts, fearing that telling it to another would only imprint it more deeply in my mind.
M. Krempe was not equally docile; and in my condition at that time, of almost insupportable sensitiveness, his harsh blunt encomiums gave me even more pain than the benevolent approbation of M. Waldman. “D—n the fellow!” cried he; “why, M. Clerval, I assure you he has outstript us all. Aye, stare if you please; but it is nevertheless true. A youngster who, but a few years ago, believed Cornelius Agrippa as firmly as the gospel, has now set himself at the head of the university; and if he is not soon pulled down, we shall all be out of countenance.—Aye, aye,” continued he, observing my face expressive of suffering, “M. Frankenstein is modest; an excellent quality in a young man. Young men should be diffident of themselves, you know, M. Clerval; I was myself when young: but that wears out in a very short time.”
M. Krempe wasn't as easygoing, and at that moment, with my overwhelming sensitivity, his harsh praise hurt me even more than M. Waldman's kind approval. “Damn the guy!” he exclaimed; “M. Clerval, I assure you he has surpassed us all. Go ahead, stare if you want, but it’s true. A kid who, just a few years ago, believed Cornelius Agrippa as firmly as the gospel, has now taken the lead at the university; and if he isn't brought down soon, we will all be embarrassed. — Oh, and,” he added, noticing the pain on my face, “M. Frankenstein is modest; that's a great quality in a young man. Young men should be a bit unsure of themselves, you know, M. Clerval; I was too when I was young: but that fades away pretty quickly.”
M. Krempe had now commenced an eulogy on himself, which happily turned the conversation from a subject that was so annoying to me.
M. Krempe had now started praising himself, which thankfully shifted the conversation away from a topic that really bothered me.
Clerval was no natural philosopher. His imagination was too vivid for the minutiæ of science. Languages were his principal study; and he sought, by acquiring their elements, to open a field for self-instruction on his return to Geneva. Persian, Arabic, and Hebrew, gained his attention, after he had made himself perfectly master of Greek and Latin. For my own part, idleness had ever been irksome to me; and now that I wished to fly from reflection, and hated my former studies, I felt great relief in being the fellow-pupil with my friend, and found not only instruction but consolation in the works of the orientalists. Their melancholy is soothing, and their joy elevating to a degree I never experienced in studying the authors of any other country. When you read their writings, life appears to consist in a warm sun and garden of roses,—in the smiles and frowns of a fair enemy, and the fire that consumes your own heart. How different from the manly and heroical poetry of Greece and Rome.
Clerval wasn't a natural philosopher. His imagination was too vivid for the details of science. Languages were his main focus, and he aimed to learn their basics in order to create a path for self-education when he returned to Geneva. He became engrossed in Persian, Arabic, and Hebrew after mastering Greek and Latin. Personally, I had always found idleness to be frustrating; now that I wanted to escape my thoughts and detested my previous studies, I felt a great relief by being a fellow student with my friend. I found both knowledge and comfort in the works of the orientalists. Their sorrow is comforting, and their joy uplifting in a way I never felt with authors from any other culture. When you read their writings, life seems to be about a warm sun and a garden of roses—about the smiles and frowns of a beautiful enemy and the fire that burns in your own heart. It's so different from the strong and heroic poetry of Greece and Rome.
Summer passed away in these occupations, and my return to Geneva was fixed for the latter end of autumn; but being delayed by several accidents, winter and snow arrived, the roads were deemed impassable, and my journey was retarded until the ensuing spring. I felt this delay very bitterly; for I longed to see my native town, and my beloved friends. My return had only been delayed so long from an unwillingness to leave Clerval in a strange place, before he had become acquainted with any of its inhabitants. The winter, however, was spent cheerfully; and although the spring was uncommonly late, when it came, its beauty compensated for its dilatoriness.
Summer slipped away in these activities, and I planned to return to Geneva at the end of autumn; however, various delays pushed my trip back, and by the time winter and snow arrived, the roads were deemed impassable, forcing me to postpone my journey until the following spring. I felt this delay intensely because I was eager to see my hometown and my dear friends. My return had only been postponed because I didn't want to leave Clerval in an unfamiliar place before he had gotten to know any of its residents. Nevertheless, I spent the winter cheerfully; and even though spring arrived unusually late, its beauty made up for the wait.
The month of May had already commenced, and I expected the letter daily which was to fix the date of my departure, when Henry proposed a pedestrian tour in the environs of Ingolstadt that I might bid a personal farewell to the country I had so long inhabited. I acceded with pleasure to this proposition: I was fond of exercise, and Clerval had always been my favourite companion in the rambles of this nature that I had taken among the scenes of my native country.
The month of May had already started, and I was waiting for the letter that would confirm my departure date. Then Henry suggested a walking trip around Ingolstadt so that I could say a personal goodbye to the place I had lived for so long. I happily agreed to this idea: I enjoyed being active, and Clerval had always been my favorite companion on these kinds of walks through the landscapes of my homeland.
We passed a fortnight in these perambulations: my health and spirits had long been restored, and they gained additional strength from the salubrious air I breathed, the natural incidents of our progress, and the conversation of my friend. Study had before secluded me from the intercourse of my fellow-creatures, and rendered me unsocial; but Clerval called forth the better feelings of my heart; he again taught me to love the aspect of nature, and the cheerful faces of children. Excellent friend! how sincerely did you love me, and endeavour to elevate my mind, until it was on a level with your own. A selfish pursuit had cramped and narrowed me, until your gentleness and affection warmed and opened my senses; I became the same happy creature who, a few years ago, loving and beloved by all, had no sorrow or care. When happy, inanimate nature had the power of bestowing on me the most delightful sensations. A serene sky and verdant fields filled me with ecstacy. The present season was indeed divine; the flowers of spring bloomed in the hedges, while those of summer were already in bud: I was undisturbed by thoughts which during the preceding year had pressed upon me, notwithstanding my endeavours to throw them off, with an invincible burden.
We spent two weeks wandering around: my health and mood had long been restored, and they grew even stronger from the fresh air I breathed, the natural events of our journey, and my friend's conversation. Before, my studies had isolated me from others and made me unsociable; but Clerval brought out the better side of me. He taught me to appreciate the beauty of nature and the joyful faces of children again. Dear friend! how sincerely you cared for me and tried to uplift my mind until it matched yours. A selfish obsession had restricted me, but your kindness and affection warmed and opened my senses; I became that happy person again who, a few years ago, loved and was loved by everyone, free of sorrow or worry. When I was happy, nature could give me the most wonderful feelings. A clear sky and green fields filled me with joy. This season truly felt divine; spring flowers bloomed in the hedges, while summer ones were already budding. I was free from the heavy thoughts that had weighed on me the previous year, despite my efforts to shake them off.
Henry rejoiced in my gaiety, and sincerely sympathized in my feelings: he exerted himself to amuse me, while he expressed the sensations that filled his soul. The resources of his mind on this occasion were truly astonishing: his conversation was full of imagination; and very often, in imitation of the Persian and Arabic writers, he invented tales of wonderful fancy and passion. At other times he repeated my favourite poems, or drew me out into arguments, which he supported with great ingenuity.
Henry was happy about my joy and truly understood how I felt. He worked hard to keep me entertained while sharing the deep emotions that filled him. His creativity was impressive during this time: our conversations were full of imagination, and he often created stories full of wonder and passion, just like Persian and Arabic writers. Other times, he recited my favorite poems or got me into debates that he argued with great cleverness.
We returned to our college on a Sunday afternoon: the peasants were dancing, and every one we met appeared gay and happy. My own spirits were high, and I bounded along with feelings of unbridled joy and hilarity.
We went back to our college on a Sunday afternoon: the farmers were dancing, and everyone we came across seemed cheerful and happy. I felt great, and I bounced along with a sense of pure joy and excitement.
CHAPTER VI.
On my return, I found the following letter from my father:—
On my return, I found this letter from my dad:—
“To V. Frankenstein.
“To V. Frankenstein.”
“My Dear Victor,
“My Dear Victor,”
“You have probably waited impatiently for a letter to fix the date of your return to us; and I was at first tempted to write only a few lines, merely mentioning the day on which I should expect you. But that would be a cruel kindness, and I dare not do it. What would be your surprise, my son, when you expected a happy and gay welcome, to behold, on the contrary, tears and wretchedness? And how, Victor, can I relate our misfortune? Absence cannot have rendered you callous to our joys and griefs; and how shall I inflict pain on an absent child? I wish to prepare you for the woeful news, but I know it is impossible; even now your eye skims over the page, to seek the words which are to convey to you the horrible tidings.
“You've probably been anxiously waiting for a letter to confirm when you’ll come back to us; I was initially tempted to write just a few lines, simply stating the day I would expect you. But that would be a cruel kindness, and I can't bring myself to do it. What would your reaction be, my son, when you were looking forward to a joyful and warm welcome, only to find tears and misery instead? And how, Victor, can I tell you about our misfortune? Being away can't have made you indifferent to our happiness and sorrow; how can I cause pain to a child who's not here? I want to prepare you for the terrible news, but I know it's impossible; right now, your eyes are scanning the page, searching for the words that will deliver the awful news.
“William is dead!—that sweet child, whose smiles delighted and warmed my heart, who was so gentle, yet so gay! Victor, he is murdered!
“William is dead!—that sweet child, whose smiles brought joy and warmth to my heart, who was so kind, yet so cheerful! Victor, he has been murdered!
“I will not attempt to console you; but will simply relate the circumstances of the transaction.
“I won’t try to comfort you; I’ll just explain what happened.”
“Last Thursday (May 7th) I, my niece, and your two brothers, went to walk in Plainpalais. The evening was warm and serene, and we prolonged our walk farther than usual. It was already dusk before we thought of returning; and then we discovered that William and Ernest, who had gone on before, were not to be found. We accordingly rested on a seat until they should return. Presently Ernest came, and inquired if we had seen his brother: he said, that they had been playing together, that William had run away to hide himself, and that he vainly sought for him, and afterwards waited for him a long time, but that he did not return.
“Last Thursday (May 7th), my niece, your two brothers, and I went for a walk in Plainpalais. The evening was warm and calm, and we walked further than usual. It was already getting dark before we thought about heading back, and that’s when we realized that William and Ernest, who had gone ahead, were missing. So, we sat down on a bench to wait for them. Soon, Ernest arrived and asked if we had seen his brother. He said they had been playing together, that William had run off to hide, and that he had looked for him in vain. After waiting for a long time, he still hadn’t come back.”
“This account rather alarmed us, and we continued to search for him until night fell, when Elizabeth conjectured that he might have returned to the house. He was not there. We returned again, with torches; for I could not rest, when I thought that my sweet boy had lost himself, and was exposed to all the damps and dews of night: Elizabeth also suffered extreme anguish. About five in the morning I discovered my lovely boy, whom the night before I had seen blooming and active in health, stretched on the grass livid and motionless: the print of the murderer’s finger was on his neck.
“This account really scared us, and we kept searching for him until night fell, when Elizabeth guessed that he might have gone back to the house. He wasn’t there. We went back again, with torches; I couldn’t rest, thinking about my sweet boy being lost and exposed to all the chills and dampness of the night: Elizabeth was also in deep pain. Around five in the morning, I found my beautiful boy, who the night before I had seen vibrant and healthy, lying on the grass pale and unmoving: the mark of the murderer’s finger was on his neck.”
“He was conveyed home, and the anguish that was visible in my countenance betrayed the secret to Elizabeth. She was very earnest to see the corpse. At first I attempted to prevent her; but she persisted, and entering the room where it lay, hastily examined the neck of the victim, and clasping her hands exclaimed, ‘O God! I have murdered my darling infant!’
“He was taken home, and the pain visible on my face gave away the secret to Elizabeth. She was very eager to see the corpse. At first, I tried to stop her, but she insisted, and entering the room where it lay, she quickly examined the victim's neck and clasping her hands, exclaimed, ‘O God! I have killed my precious baby!’”
“She fainted, and was restored with extreme difficulty. When she again lived, it was only to weep and sigh. She told me, that that same evening William had teazed her to let him wear a very valuable miniature that she possessed of your mother. This picture is gone, and was doubtless the temptation which urged the murderer to the deed. We have no trace of him at present, although our exertions to discover him are unremitted; but they will not restore my beloved William.
“She fainted and was brought back to consciousness with great difficulty. When she recovered, it was only to cry and sigh. She told me that same evening William had teased her to let him wear a very valuable miniature of your mother that she owned. This picture is gone, and it was likely the temptation that pushed the murderer to commit the act. We currently have no leads on him, even though we are tirelessly trying to find him; but that won’t bring my beloved William back.”
“Come, dearest Victor; you alone can console Elizabeth. She weeps continually, and accuses herself unjustly as the cause of his death; her words pierce my heart. We are all unhappy; but will not that be an additional motive for you, my son, to return and be our comforter? Your dear mother! Alas, Victor! I now say, Thank God she did not live to witness the cruel, miserable death of her youngest darling!
“Come, dear Victor; you’re the only one who can comfort Elizabeth. She’s crying nonstop and blames herself unfairly for his death; her words break my heart. We’re all so unhappy, but won’t that be an extra reason for you to come back and support us? Your dear mother! Oh, Victor! I now say, Thank God she didn’t have to see the cruel, miserable death of her youngest beloved!”
“Come, Victor; not brooding thoughts of vengeance against the assassin, but with feelings of peace and gentleness, that will heal, instead of festering the wounds of our minds. Enter the house of mourning, my friend, but with kindness and affection for those who love you, and not with hatred for your enemies.
“Come on, Victor; let’s not dwell on thoughts of revenge against the killer, but instead focus on peace and kindness that can heal the wounds in our minds. Step into the house of mourning, my friend, with love and care for those who care about you, not with hatred for your enemies.”
“Your affectionate and afflicted father,
“Your loving and troubled father,
“Alphonse Frankenstein.
“Alphonse Frankenstein.”
“Geneva, May 12th, 17—.”
“Geneva, May 12, 17—.”
Clerval, who had watched my countenance as I read this letter, was surprised to observe the despair that succeeded to the joy I at first expressed on receiving news from my friends. I threw the letter on the table, and covered my face with my hands.
Clerval, who had watched my face as I read this letter, was surprised to see the despair that followed the joy I initially showed when I got news from my friends. I threw the letter on the table and covered my face with my hands.
“My dear Frankenstein,” exclaimed Henry, when he perceived me weep with bitterness, “are you always to be unhappy? My dear friend, what has happened?”
“My dear Frankenstein,” Henry exclaimed when he saw me crying with bitterness, “are you always going to be unhappy? My dear friend, what’s going on?”
I motioned to him to take up the letter, while I walked up and down the room in the extremest agitation. Tears also gushed from the eyes of Clerval, as he read the account of my misfortune.
I gestured for him to pick up the letter while I paced the room in extreme agitation. Tears also streamed from Clerval's eyes as he read about my misfortune.
“I can offer you no consolation, my friend,” said he; “your disaster is irreparable. What do you intend to do?”
“I can’t offer you any comfort, my friend,” he said; “your situation is beyond repair. What are you planning to do?”
“To go instantly to Geneva: come with me, Henry, to order the horses.”
“Let’s head to Geneva right away: come with me, Henry, so we can get the horses ready.”
During our walk, Clerval endeavoured to raise my spirits. He did not do this by common topics of consolation, but by exhibiting the truest sympathy. “Poor William!” said he, “that dear child; he now sleeps with his angel mother. His friends mourn and weep, but he is at rest: he does not now feel the murderer’s grasp; a sod covers his gentle form, and he knows no pain. He can no longer be a fit subject for pity; the survivors are the greatest sufferers, and for them time is the only consolation. Those maxims of the Stoics, that death was no evil, and that the mind of man ought to be superior to despair on the eternal absence of a beloved object, ought not to be urged. Even Cato wept over the dead body of his brother.”
During our walk, Clerval tried to lift my spirits. He didn’t do this with typical comforting words, but by showing genuine empathy. “Poor William!” he said, “that dear child; he is now at peace with his angel mother. His friends mourn and weep, but he is at rest: he no longer feels the murderer’s grip; a grave covers his gentle body, and he knows no pain. He can no longer be a reason for pity; it’s the survivors who suffer the most, and for them, time is the only comfort. Those Stoic sayings that death is not an evil, and that a person should rise above despair over the permanent loss of a loved one, shouldn’t be insisted upon. Even Cato mourned for his brother’s dead body.”
Clerval spoke thus as we hurried through the streets; the words impressed themselves on my mind, and I remembered them afterwards in solitude. But now, as soon as the horses arrived, I hurried into a cabriole, and bade farewell to my friend.
Clerval spoke this way as we rushed through the streets; his words stuck with me, and I recalled them later when I was alone. But now, once the horses arrived, I quickly got into a cabriolet and said goodbye to my friend.
My journey was very melancholy. At first I wished to hurry on, for I longed to console and sympathize with my loved and sorrowing friends; but when I drew near my native town, I slackened my progress. I could hardly sustain the multitude of feelings that crowded into my mind. I passed through scenes familiar to my youth, but which I had not seen for nearly six years. How altered every thing might be during that time? One sudden and desolating change had taken place; but a thousand little circumstances might have by degrees worked other alterations which, although they were done more tranquilly, might not be the less decisive. Fear overcame me; I dared not advance, dreading a thousand nameless evils that made me tremble, although I was unable to define them.
My journey was very sad. At first, I wanted to rush forward because I desperately wanted to comfort and connect with my grieving friends, but as I got closer to my hometown, I slowed down. I could barely handle the overwhelming emotions flooding my mind. I passed through places that reminded me of my childhood, but I hadn't seen them in almost six years. How much could have changed in that time? A sudden and devastating shift had occurred, but there could have been countless little changes that gradually happened, which, though less obvious, could be just as significant. Fear took over; I was afraid to move forward, haunted by a thousand unnamed fears that made me tremble, even though I couldn't pinpoint what they were.
I remained two days at Lausanne, in this painful state of mind. I contemplated the lake: the waters were placid; all around was calm, and the snowy mountains, “the palaces of nature,” were not changed. By degrees the calm and heavenly scene restored me, and I continued my journey towards Geneva.
I stayed in Lausanne for two days, feeling this painful state of mind. I looked at the lake: the waters were calm; everything around was peaceful, and the snowy mountains, "the palaces of nature," hadn’t changed. Gradually, the serene and beautiful scene brought me back to myself, and I continued my journey to Geneva.
The road ran by the side of the lake, which became narrower as I approached my native town. I discovered more distinctly the black sides of Jura, and the bright summit of Mont Blânc; I wept like a child: “Dear mountains! my own beautiful lake! how do you welcome your wanderer? Your summits are clear; the sky and lake are blue and placid. Is this to prognosticate peace, or to mock at my unhappiness?”
The road lined the lake, which got narrower as I got closer to my hometown. I could see the dark sides of Jura and the bright peak of Mont Blanc more clearly. I cried like a child: “Dear mountains! My beautiful lake! How do you welcome your wanderer? Your peaks are clear; the sky and lake are blue and calm. Is this a sign of peace, or a way to tease my sorrow?”
I fear, my friend, that I shall render myself tedious by dwelling on these preliminary circumstances; but they were days of comparative happiness, and I think of them with pleasure. My country, my beloved country! who but a native can tell the delight I took in again beholding thy streams, thy mountains, and, more than all, thy lovely lake.
I worry, my friend, that I’ll bore you by going on about these early experiences; but they were times of relative happiness, and I remember them fondly. My country, my beloved country! Who but a local can express the joy I felt in seeing your rivers, your mountains, and, more than anything, your beautiful lake once more.
Yet, as I drew nearer home, grief and fear again overcame me. Night also closed around; and when I could hardly see the dark mountains, I felt still more gloomily. The picture appeared a vast and dim scene of evil, and I foresaw obscurely that I was destined to become the most wretched of human beings. Alas! I prophesied truly, and failed only in one single circumstance, that in all the misery I imagined and dreaded, I did not conceive the hundredth part of the anguish I was destined to endure.
Yet, as I got closer to home, grief and fear overwhelmed me again. Night was closing in, and when I could barely make out the dark mountains, I felt even more despondent. The view looked like a huge, shadowy scene of evil, and I sensed that I was meant to become the most miserable person alive. Unfortunately, I was right, but I only underestimated one thing: in all the suffering I imagined and feared, I couldn’t even grasp a fraction of the pain I was about to face.
It was completely dark when I arrived in the environs of Geneva; the gates of the town were already shut; and I was obliged to pass the night at Secheron, a village half a league to the east of the city. The sky was serene; and, as I was unable to rest, I resolved to visit the spot where my poor William had been murdered. As I could not pass through the town, I was obliged to cross the lake in a boat to arrive at Plainpalais. During this short voyage I saw the lightnings playing on the summit of Mont Blânc in the most beautiful figures. The storm appeared to approach rapidly; and, on landing, I ascended a low hill, that I might observe its progress. It advanced; the heavens were clouded, and I soon felt the rain coming slowly in large drops, but its violence quickly increased.
It was completely dark when I arrived near Geneva; the town gates were already closed, so I had to spend the night in Secheron, a village half a mile east of the city. The sky was clear, and since I couldn’t rest, I decided to visit the place where my poor William had been killed. Since I couldn’t go through the town, I had to cross the lake by boat to get to Plainpalais. During this short trip, I saw flashes of lightning dancing on the peak of Mont Blanc in the most beautiful shapes. The storm seemed to be coming on fast, and when I got off the boat, I climbed a low hill to watch it. It moved closer; the sky turned cloudy, and I soon felt the rain starting slowly in large drops, but then its intensity quickly picked up.
I quitted my seat, and walked on, although the darkness and storm increased every minute, and the thunder burst with a terrific crash over my head. It was echoed from Salêve, the Juras, and the Alps of Savoy; vivid flashes of lightning dazzled my eyes, illuminating the lake, making it appear like a vast sheet of fire; then for an instant every thing seemed of a pitchy darkness, until the eye recovered itself from the preceding flash. The storm, as is often the case in Switzerland, appeared at once in various parts of the heavens. The most violent storm hung exactly north of the town, over that part of the lake which lies between the promontory of Belrive and the village of Copêt. Another storm enlightened Jura with faint flashes; and another darkened and sometimes disclosed the Môle, a peaked mountain to the east of the lake.
I got up from my seat and walked on, even though the darkness and storm were getting worse by the minute, and the thunder crashed loudly above me. It echoed off Salêve, the Jura Mountains, and the Alps of Savoy; bright flashes of lightning blinded me, lighting up the lake and making it look like a huge sheet of fire. Then everything would fall back into a deep darkness until my eyes adjusted after the previous flash. The storm, as is often the case in Switzerland, seemed to appear in different parts of the sky all at once. The worst storm was right north of the town, over the section of the lake between the promontory of Belrive and the village of Copêt. Another storm briefly lit up Jura with faint flashes, and yet another darkened and occasionally revealed the Môle, a peaked mountain to the east of the lake.
While I watched the storm, so beautiful yet terrific, I wandered on with a hasty step. This noble war in the sky elevated my spirits; I clasped my hands, and exclaimed aloud, “William, dear angel! this is thy funeral, this thy dirge!” As I said these words, I perceived in the gloom a figure which stole from behind a clump of trees near me; I stood fixed, gazing intently: I could not be mistaken. A flash of lightning illuminated the object, and discovered its shape plainly to me; its gigantic stature, and the deformity of its aspect, more hideous than belongs to humanity, instantly informed me that it was the wretch, the filthy dæmon to whom I had given life. What did he there? Could he be (I shuddered at the conception) the murderer of my brother? No sooner did that idea cross my imagination, than I became convinced of its truth; my teeth chattered, and I was forced to lean against a tree for support. The figure passed me quickly, and I lost it in the gloom. Nothing in human shape could have destroyed that fair child. He was the murderer! I could not doubt it. The mere presence of the idea was an irresistible proof of the fact. I thought of pursuing the devil; but it would have been in vain, for another flash discovered him to me hanging among the rocks of the nearly perpendicular ascent of Mont Salêve, a hill that bounds Plainpalais on the south. He soon reached the summit, and disappeared.
As I watched the storm, both beautiful and terrifying, I hurried on with quick steps. This majestic battle in the sky lifted my spirits; I clasped my hands and shouted, “William, dear angel! This is your funeral, your dirge!” As I said this, I noticed a figure emerging from behind a cluster of trees nearby; I stood frozen, staring intently—I couldn’t be mistaken. A flash of lightning illuminated the figure, revealing its shape clearly to me; its towering height and the grotesque features that were more horrific than any human could possess instantly made me realize it was the wretch, the filthy demon I had brought to life. What was he doing there? Could he be (I shuddered at the thought) the murderer of my brother? As soon as that idea crossed my mind, I became convinced it was true; my teeth chattered, and I had to lean against a tree for support. The figure rushed past me, and I lost sight of it in the darkness. No one in human form could have killed that beautiful child. He was the murderer! I had no doubt. The mere presence of the idea was undeniable proof of the fact. I thought about chasing the devil, but it would have been pointless, for another flash revealed him hanging among the rocks of the nearly vertical slope of Mont Salêve, a hill that borders Plainpalais to the south. He quickly reached the top and vanished.
I remained motionless. The thunder ceased; but the rain still continued, and the scene was enveloped in an impenetrable darkness. I revolved in my mind the events which I had until now sought to forget: the whole train of my progress towards the creation; the appearance of the work of my own hands alive at my bed side; its departure. Two years had now nearly elapsed since the night on which he first received life; and was this his first crime? Alas! I had turned loose into the world a depraved wretch, whose delight was in carnage and misery; had he not murdered my brother?
I stood still. The thunder stopped, but the rain kept pouring, and everything was shrouded in complete darkness. I replayed in my mind the events I had tried so hard to forget: my entire journey leading up to the creation, the moment when the work of my own hands came to life beside my bed, and its departure. Nearly two years had passed since that night when he first emerged into life; was this his first crime? Oh no! I had unleashed a twisted being into the world whose joy came from violence and suffering; didn't he kill my brother?
No one can conceive the anguish I suffered during the remainder of the night, which I spent, cold and wet, in the open air. But I did not feel the inconvenience of the weather; my imagination was busy in scenes of evil and despair. I considered the being whom I had cast among mankind, and endowed with the will and power to effect purposes of horror, such as the deed which he had now done, nearly in the light of my own vampire, my own spirit let loose from the grave, and forced to destroy all that was dear to me.
No one can imagine the pain I felt for the rest of the night, which I spent cold and wet outside. But I didn’t care much about the weather; my mind was occupied with scenes of darkness and hopelessness. I thought about the creature I had unleashed into the world, giving it the will and ability to carry out horrific acts, like the one it had just committed. It felt almost like my own vampire, my own spirit released from the grave, forced to ruin everything that I held dear.
Day dawned; and I directed my steps towards the town. The gates were open; and I hastened to my father’s house. My first thought was to discover what I knew of the murderer, and cause instant pursuit to be made. But I paused when I reflected on the story that I had to tell. A being whom I myself had formed, and endued with life, had met me at midnight among the precipices of an inaccessible mountain. I remembered also the nervous fever with which I had been seized just at the time that I dated my creation, and which would give an air of delirium to a tale otherwise so utterly improbable. I well knew that if any other had communicated such a relation to me, I should have looked upon it as the ravings of insanity. Besides, the strange nature of the animal would elude all pursuit, even if I were so far credited as to persuade my relatives to commence it. Besides, of what use would be pursuit? Who could arrest a creature capable of scaling the overhanging sides of Mont Salêve? These reflections determined me, and I resolved to remain silent.
The day broke, and I made my way to the town. The gates were open, and I hurried to my father's house. My first instinct was to find out what I knew about the murderer and prompt an immediate chase. But I hesitated when I thought about the story I would have to share. A being I had created and brought to life had confronted me at midnight on a steep, remote mountain. I also remembered the fever I had experienced around the time of my creation, which would make my tale sound even more delusional. I knew that if anyone else had told me such a story, I would have thought they were crazy. Moreover, the unusual nature of this creature would make it impossible to track, even if I could convince my family to start the search. And even if there were a pursuit, what good would it do? Who could catch something capable of climbing the sheer cliffs of Mont Salêve? These thoughts led me to decide to stay quiet.
It was about five in the morning when I entered my father’s house. I told the servants not to disturb the family, and went into the library to attend their usual hour of rising.
It was around five in the morning when I walked into my dad’s house. I asked the staff not to wake anyone up and went into the library to wait for the family to get up.
Six years had elapsed, passed as a dream but for one indelible trace, and I stood in the same place where I had last embraced my father before my departure for Ingolstadt. Beloved and respectable parent! He still remained to me. I gazed on the picture of my mother, which stood over the mantle-piece. It was an historical subject, painted at my father’s desire, and represented Caroline Beaufort in an agony of despair, kneeling by the coffin of her dead father. Her garb was rustic, and her cheek pale; but there was an air of dignity and beauty, that hardly permitted the sentiment of pity. Below this picture was a miniature of William; and my tears flowed when I looked upon it. While I was thus engaged, Ernest entered: he had heard me arrive, and hastened to welcome me. He expressed a sorrowful delight to see me: “Welcome, my dearest Victor,” said he. “Ah! I wish you had come three months ago, and then you would have found us all joyous and delighted. But we are now unhappy; and, I am afraid, tears instead of smiles will be your welcome. Our father looks so sorrowful: this dreadful event seems to have revived in his mind his grief on the death of Mamma. Poor Elizabeth also is quite inconsolable.” Ernest began to weep as he said these words.
Six years had passed, feeling like a dream except for one lasting memory, and I found myself in the same spot where I last hugged my father before leaving for Ingolstadt. Beloved and respected parent! He was still there for me. I stared at the portrait of my mother above the mantelpiece. It was a historical painting, done at my father's request, showing Caroline Beaufort in deep despair, kneeling by her deceased father's coffin. Her clothing was simple, and her face was pale; yet there was a sense of dignity and beauty that made it hard to feel pity. Below this painting was a small picture of William, and tears filled my eyes as I looked at it. While I was lost in thought, Ernest walked in: he had heard my arrival and hurried to greet me. He expressed a bittersweet joy at seeing me: “Welcome, my dear Victor,” he said. “Oh! I wish you had come three months ago; you would have found us all happy and cheerful. But now we are unhappy, and I’m afraid that tears, not smiles, will greet you. Our father looks so sad: this terrible event seems to have brought back his grief over Mama's death. Poor Elizabeth is also completely heartbroken.” Ernest started to cry as he spoke these words.
“Do not,” said I, “welcome me thus; try to be more calm, that I may not be absolutely miserable the moment I enter my father’s house after so long an absence. But, tell me, how does my father support his misfortunes? and how is my poor Elizabeth?”
“Don’t,” I said, “welcome me like this; try to stay calmer so I won’t feel completely miserable the moment I walk into my father’s house after being away for so long. But, tell me, how is my father handling his troubles? And how is my poor Elizabeth?”
“She indeed requires consolation; she accused herself of having caused the death of my brother, and that made her very wretched. But since the murderer has been discovered——”
“She really needs comfort; she blames herself for causing my brother's death, and that makes her extremely unhappy. But since the murderer has been caught——”
“The murderer discovered! Good God! how can that be? who could attempt to pursue him? It is impossible; one might as well try to overtake the winds, or confine a mountain-stream with a straw.”
“The murderer found! Good God! How is that possible? Who could even try to chase him? It’s impossible; it’s like trying to catch the wind or stop a mountain stream with a straw.”
“I do not know what you mean; but we were all very unhappy when she was discovered. No one would believe it at first; and even now Elizabeth will not be convinced, notwithstanding all the evidence. Indeed, who would credit that Justine Moritz, who was so amiable, and fond of all the family, could all at once become so extremely wicked?”
“I don’t know what you mean, but everyone was really upset when she was found out. No one believed it at first, and even now Elizabeth won’t be convinced, despite all the evidence. Honestly, who would believe that Justine Moritz, who was so kind and loved by the whole family, could suddenly turn out to be so incredibly evil?”
“Justine Moritz! Poor, poor girl, is she the accused? But it is wrongfully; every one knows that; no one believes it, surely, Ernest?”
“Justine Moritz! Poor, poor girl, is she the one being accused? But that’s not right; everyone knows that; no one believes it, right, Ernest?”
“No one did at first; but several circumstances came out, that have almost forced conviction upon us: and her own behaviour has been so confused, as to add to the evidence of facts a weight that, I fear, leaves no hope for doubt. But she will be tried to-day, and you will then hear all.”
“No one believed it at first; but several factors emerged that have almost forced us to accept it as truth: and her own behavior has been so erratic that it adds significant weight to the evidence we have, leaving little room for doubt. But she will be tried today, and you will hear everything then.”
He related that, the morning on which the murder of poor William had been discovered, Justine had been taken ill, and confined to her bed; and, after several days, one of the servants, happening to examine the apparel she had worn on the night of the murder, had discovered in her pocket the picture of my mother, which had been judged to be the temptation of the murderer. The servant instantly shewed it to one of the others, who, without saying a word to any of the family, went to a magistrate; and, upon their deposition, Justine was apprehended. On being charged with the fact, the poor girl confirmed the suspicion in a great measure by her extreme confusion of manner.
He recounted that on the morning when the murder of poor William was discovered, Justine had fallen ill and was stuck in bed. After a few days, one of the servants, while examining the clothes she wore on the night of the murder, found in her pocket a picture of my mother, which was considered to be the temptation for the murderer. The servant immediately showed it to another servant, who, without telling anyone in the family, went to a magistrate. Based on their testimony, Justine was arrested. When confronted about it, the poor girl largely confirmed the suspicion with her extreme nervousness.
This was a strange tale, but it did not shake my faith; and I replied earnestly, “You are all mistaken; I know the murderer. Justine, poor, good Justine, is innocent.”
This was a weird story, but it didn’t shake my belief; and I replied sincerely, “You’re all wrong; I know who the killer is. Justine, poor, good Justine, is innocent.”
At that instant my father entered. I saw unhappiness deeply impressed on his countenance, but he endeavoured to welcome me cheerfully; and, after we had exchanged our mournful greeting, would have introduced some other topic than that of our disaster, had not Ernest exclaimed, “Good God, Papa! Victor says that he knows who was the murderer of poor William.”
At that moment, my father walked in. I could see sadness etched on his face, but he tried to greet me with a smile. After we exchanged our somber hellos, he would have shifted to a different topic instead of our tragedy, if Ernest hadn't shouted, “Oh my God, Dad! Victor says he knows who killed poor William.”
“We do also, unfortunately,” replied my father; “for indeed I had rather have been for ever ignorant than have discovered so much depravity and ingratitude in one I valued so highly.”
"We do, unfortunately," my father replied; "because honestly, I would have preferred to remain completely unaware than to have found such depravity and ingratitude in someone I valued so highly."
“My dear father, you are mistaken; Justine is innocent.”
“My dear father, you’re wrong; Justine is innocent.”
“If she is, God forbid that she should suffer as guilty. She is to be tried to-day, and I hope, I sincerely hope, that she will be acquitted.”
“If she is, God forbid she should suffer as if she’s guilty. She’s going to be tried today, and I hope, I really hope, that she’ll be found not guilty.”
This speech calmed me. I was firmly convinced in my own mind that Justine, and indeed every human being, was guiltless of this murder. I had no fear, therefore, that any circumstantial evidence could be brought forward strong enough to convict her; and, in this assurance, I calmed myself, expecting the trial with eagerness, but without prognosticating an evil result.
This speech reassured me. I was completely convinced that Justine, and honestly every person, was innocent of this murder. So, I wasn’t worried that any circumstantial evidence could be presented that would be strong enough to convict her; and with this confidence, I relaxed, looking forward to the trial eagerly, but not expecting any negative outcome.
We were soon joined by Elizabeth. Time had made great alterations in her form since I had last beheld her. Six years before she had been a pretty, good-humoured girl, whom every one loved and caressed. She was now a woman in stature and expression of countenance, which was uncommonly lovely. An open and capacious forehead gave indications of a good understanding, joined to great frankness of disposition. Her eyes were hazel, and expressive of mildness, now through recent affliction allied to sadness. Her hair was of a rich, dark auburn, her complexion fair, and her figure slight and graceful. She welcomed me with the greatest affection. “Your arrival, my dear cousin,” said she, “fills me with hope. You perhaps will find some means to justify my poor guiltless Justine. Alas! who is safe, if she be convicted of crime? I rely on her innocence as certainly as I do upon my own. Our misfortune is doubly hard to us; we have not only lost that lovely darling boy, but this poor girl, whom I sincerely love, is to be torn away by even a worse fate. If she is condemned, I never shall know joy more. But she will not, I am sure she will not; and then I shall be happy again, even after the sad death of my little William.”
We were soon joined by Elizabeth. Time had changed her appearance a lot since I last saw her. Six years earlier, she had been a pretty, cheerful girl whom everyone loved and adored. Now, she was a woman, with a tall stature and a beautiful expression. Her open and broad forehead suggested a good mind paired with great honesty. Her hazel eyes expressed softness, tinged with sadness from recent hardships. Her hair was a rich, dark auburn, her complexion fair, and her figure slender and graceful. She welcomed me with immense warmth. “Your arrival, my dear cousin,” she said, “gives me hope. You might find a way to prove Justine’s innocence. Alas! who is safe if she is found guilty? I trust in her innocence just as firmly as I do in my own. Our misfortune is particularly cruel; we have not only lost our beloved little boy, but this poor girl, whom I genuinely care for, is about to face an even worse fate. If she is condemned, I will never find joy again. But she won’t be, I’m sure she won’t; and then I will be happy again, even after the sad loss of my little William.”
“She is innocent, my Elizabeth,” said I, “and that shall be proved; fear nothing, but let your spirits be cheered by the assurance of her acquittal.”
“She is innocent, my Elizabeth,” I said, “and we will prove it; don’t worry, just let the certainty of her being found not guilty lift your spirits.”
“How kind you are! every one else believes in her guilt, and that made me wretched; for I knew that it was impossible: and to see every one else prejudiced in so deadly a manner, rendered me hopeless and despairing.” She wept.
“How kind you are! Everyone else believes she’s guilty, and that made me miserable; because I knew it wasn’t true: and seeing everyone else so unfairly biased made me feel hopeless and desperate.” She cried.
“Sweet niece,” said my father, “dry your tears. If she is, as you believe, innocent, rely on the justice of our judges, and the activity with which I shall prevent the slightest shadow of partiality.”
“Sweet niece,” my father said, “wipe your tears. If she is, as you think, innocent, trust in the fairness of our judges and in the efforts I’ll make to ensure there’s not even the slightest hint of bias.”
CHAPTER VII.
We passed a few sad hours, until eleven o’clock, when the trial was to commence. My father and the rest of the family being obliged to attend as witnesses, I accompanied them to the court. During the whole of this wretched mockery of justice, I suffered living torture. It was to be decided, whether the result of my curiosity and lawless devices would cause the death of two of my fellow-beings: one a smiling babe, full of innocence and joy; the other far more dreadfully murdered, with every aggravation of infamy that could make the murder memorable in horror. Justine also was a girl of merit, and possessed qualities which promised to render her life happy: now all was to be obliterated in an ignominious grave; and I the cause! A thousand times rather would I have confessed myself guilty of the crime ascribed to Justine; but I was absent when it was committed, and such a declaration would have been considered as the ravings of a madman, and would not have exculpated her who suffered through me.
We spent some really tough hours until eleven o'clock, when the trial was set to begin. My father and the rest of the family had to be there as witnesses, so I went with them to the court. Throughout this awful farce of justice, I felt like I was in agony. It was about to be decided whether my curiosity and reckless actions would lead to the death of two people: one a cheerful baby, full of innocence and joy; the other brutally murdered, with every kind of disgrace that could make the murder horrifyingly memorable. Justine was also a deserving girl with qualities that could have made her life happy; now everything was going to be erased in a shameful grave, and I was the reason! A thousand times I would have preferred to admit that I was guilty of the crime Justine was accused of; but I was not there when it happened, and such a confession would have been seen as the rantings of a madman, and wouldn’t have cleared Justine, who was suffering because of me.
The appearance of Justine was calm. She was dressed in mourning; and her countenance, always engaging, was rendered, by the solemnity of her feelings, exquisitely beautiful. Yet she appeared confident in innocence, and did not tremble, although gazed on and execrated by thousands; for all the kindness which her beauty might otherwise have excited, was obliterated in the minds of the spectators by the imagination of the enormity she was supposed to have committed. She was tranquil, yet her tranquillity was evidently constrained; and as her confusion had before been adduced as a proof of her guilt, she worked up her mind to an appearance of courage. When she entered the court, she threw her eyes round it, and quickly discovered where we were seated. A tear seemed to dim her eye when she saw us; but she quickly recovered herself, and a look of sorrowful affection seemed to attest her utter guiltlessness.
Justine looked calm. She was wearing mourning clothes, and her face, which was always striking, was made even more beautiful by the seriousness of her emotions. Yet, she seemed confident in her innocence and didn't tremble, even though she was being watched and cursed by thousands. The kindness her beauty might have inspired was completely overshadowed in the spectators’ minds by the horrific act she was believed to have committed. She was composed, but you could tell her calmness was forced. Since her earlier confusion had been taken as evidence of her guilt, she steeled herself to appear brave. When she entered the courtroom, she looked around and quickly spotted where we were sitting. A tear seemed to cloud her eye when she saw us, but she quickly composed herself, and a look of sorrowful love seemed to prove her complete innocence.
The trial began; and after the advocate against her had stated the charge, several witnesses were called. Several strange facts combined against her, which might have staggered any one who had not such proof of her innocence as I had. She had been out the whole of the night on which the murder had been committed, and towards morning had been perceived by a market-woman not far from the spot where the body of the murdered child had been afterwards found. The woman asked her what she did there; but she looked very strangely, and only returned a confused and unintelligible answer. She returned to the house about eight o’clock; and when one inquired where she had passed the night, she replied, that she had been looking for the child, and demanded earnestly, if any thing had been heard concerning him. When shewn the body, she fell into violent hysterics, and kept her bed for several days. The picture was then produced, which the servant had found in her pocket; and when Elizabeth, in a faltering voice, proved that it was the same which, an hour before the child had been missed, she had placed round his neck, a murmur of horror and indignation filled the court.
The trial started, and after the prosecutor laid out the charges against her, several witnesses were called to testify. Several unusual facts were presented that could have confused anyone who didn't have the proof of her innocence that I had. She had been out the entire night when the murder occurred, and in the early morning, a market vendor saw her not far from where the murdered child’s body was later found. The vendor asked what she was doing there, but she responded strangely and gave a confused, unintelligible answer. She returned home around eight o'clock, and when asked where she had spent the night, she said she had been looking for the child and urgently inquired if anything had been heard about him. When shown the body, she broke down in violent hysterics and stayed in bed for several days. Then, the picture that the servant had found in her pocket was presented, and when Elizabeth, her voice trembling, confirmed that it was the same picture she had put around the child's neck just an hour before he went missing, a murmur of horror and outrage swept through the courtroom.
Justine was called on for her defence. As the trial had proceeded, her countenance had altered. Surprise, horror, and misery, were strongly expressed. Sometimes she struggled with her tears; but when she was desired to plead, she collected her powers, and spoke in an audible although variable voice:—
Justine was called to defend herself. Throughout the trial, her expression had changed. Surprise, horror, and sadness were clearly visible. Sometimes she fought back tears; but when asked to speak, she gathered her strength and spoke in a clear, though shaky, voice:—
“God knows,” she said, “how entirely I am innocent. But I do not pretend that my protestations should acquit me: I rest my innocence on a plain and simple explanation of the facts which have been adduced against me; and I hope the character I have always borne will incline my judges to a favourable interpretation, where any circumstance appears doubtful or suspicious.”
“God knows,” she said, “how completely innocent I am. But I’m not delusional enough to think my protests will clear me: I base my innocence on a clear and straightforward explanation of the facts that have been presented against me; and I hope the reputation I’ve always had will lead my judges to a positive interpretation whenever there’s any uncertainty or suspicion.”
She then related that, by the permission of Elizabeth, she had passed the evening of the night on which the murder had been committed, at the house of an aunt at Chêne, a village situated at about a league from Geneva. On her return, at about nine o’clock, she met a man, who asked her if she had seen any thing of the child who was lost. She was alarmed by this account, and passed several hours in looking for him, when the gates of Geneva were shut, and she was forced to remain several hours of the night in a barn belonging to a cottage, being unwilling to call up the inhabitants, to whom she was well known. Unable to rest or sleep, she quitted her asylum early, that she might again endeavour to find my brother. If she had gone near the spot where his body lay, it was without her knowledge. That she had been bewildered when questioned by the market-woman, was not surprising, since she had passed a sleepless night, and the fate of poor William was yet uncertain. Concerning the picture she could give no account.
She then mentioned that, with Elizabeth's permission, she had spent the evening on the night of the murder at her aunt's place in Chêne, a village about a mile away from Geneva. On her way back around nine o'clock, she encountered a man who asked her if she had seen anything of the missing child. She was frightened by this and spent several hours looking for him after the gates of Geneva had closed, which forced her to stay in a barn belonging to a nearby cottage for several hours, not wanting to disturb the people who knew her well. Unable to rest or sleep, she left her hiding place early to try to find my brother again. If she had gone near the spot where his body was, it was without her realizing it. It wasn't surprising that she was confused when questioned by the market woman, as she hadn't slept all night and the fate of poor William was still unknown. She couldn't provide any information about the picture.
“I know,” continued the unhappy victim, “how heavily and fatally this one circumstance weighs against me, but I have no power of explaining it; and when I have expressed my utter ignorance, I am only left to conjecture concerning the probabilities by which it might have been placed in my pocket. But here also I am checked. I believe that I have no enemy on earth, and none surely would have been so wicked as to destroy me wantonly. Did the murderer place it there? I know of no opportunity afforded him for so doing; or if I had, why should he have stolen the jewel, to part with it again so soon?
“I know,” continued the unhappy victim, “how heavily and fatally this one circumstance weighs against me, but I can’t explain it. When I say I have no clue, I’m left to guess how it might have ended up in my pocket. But even then, I hit a wall. I don’t believe I have any enemies in the world, and surely none would be so cruel as to hurt me for no reason. Did the murderer put it there? I haven’t seen any chance for him to do that; and even if I had, why would he steal the jewel just to give it up so quickly?”
“I commit my cause to the justice of my judges, yet I see no room for hope. I beg permission to have a few witnesses examined concerning my character; and if their testimony shall not overweigh my supposed guilt, I must be condemned, although I would pledge my salvation on my innocence.”
“I trust my case to the fairness of my judges, but I see no reason for hope. I ask for permission to have a few witnesses questioned about my character; and if their testimony doesn’t outweigh my alleged guilt, I must be found guilty, even though I would stake my life on my innocence.”
Several witnesses were called, who had known her for many years, and they spoke well of her; but fear, and hatred of the crime of which they supposed her guilty, rendered them timorous, and unwilling to come forward. Elizabeth saw even this last resource, her excellent dispositions and irreproachable conduct, about to fail the accused, when, although violently agitated, she desired permission to address the court.
Several witnesses were called who had known her for many years, and they spoke highly of her; but fear and their hatred of the crime they believed she was guilty of made them hesitant and unwilling to come forward. Elizabeth saw that even this final hope, her good character and flawless behavior, was about to let the accused down when, despite being extremely agitated, she asked for permission to speak to the court.
“I am,” said she, “the cousin of the unhappy child who was murdered, or rather his sister, for I was educated by and have lived with his parents ever since and even long before his birth. It may therefore be judged indecent in me to come forward on this occasion; but when I see a fellow-creature about to perish through the cowardice of her pretended friends, I wish to be allowed to speak, that I may say what I know of her character. I am well acquainted with the accused. I have lived in the same house with her, at one time for five, and at another for nearly two years. During all that period she appeared to me the most amiable and benevolent of human creatures. She nursed Madame Frankenstein, my aunt, in her last illness with the greatest affection and care; and afterwards attended her own mother during a tedious illness, in a manner that excited the admiration of all who knew her. After which she again lived in my uncle’s house, where she was beloved by all the family. She was warmly attached to the child who is now dead, and acted towards him like a most affectionate mother. For my own part, I do not hesitate to say, that, notwithstanding all the evidence produced against her, I believe and rely on her perfect innocence. She had no temptation for such an action: as to the bauble on which the chief proof rests, if she had earnestly desired it, I should have willingly given it to her; so much do I esteem and value her.”
“I am,” she said, “the cousin of the poor child who was murdered, or rather his sister, since I've been raised by and have lived with his parents both before and after he was born. It might seem inappropriate for me to come forward now, but when I see someone on the verge of destruction due to the cowardice of her so-called friends, I want to speak up to share what I know about her character. I'm very familiar with the accused. I lived in the same house with her for five years at one point and nearly two years at another. During all that time, she seemed to me to be one of the kindest and most caring people. She took care of Madame Frankenstein, my aunt, during her last illness with great affection and attention; then she cared for her own mother during a long illness in a way that everyone who knew her admired. After that, she lived again in my uncle’s house, where she was loved by everyone in the family. She was deeply attached to the deceased child and treated him like a very loving mother. For my part, I don’t hesitate to say that, despite all the evidence presented against her, I believe in and trust her complete innocence. She had no motive for such an act: regarding the trinket that the main evidence is based on, if she had truly wanted it, I would have gladly given it to her; I hold her in such high regard.”
Excellent Elizabeth! A murmur of approbation was heard; but it was excited by her generous interference, and not in favour of poor Justine, on whom the public indignation was turned with renewed violence, charging her with the blackest ingratitude. She herself wept as Elizabeth spoke, but she did not answer. My own agitation and anguish was extreme during the whole trial. I believed in her innocence; I knew it. Could the dæmon, who had (I did not for a minute doubt) murdered my brother, also in his hellish sport have betrayed the innocent to death and ignominy. I could not sustain the horror of my situation; and when I perceived that the popular voice, and the countenances of the judges, had already condemned my unhappy victim, I rushed out of the court in agony. The tortures of the accused did not equal mine; she was sustained by innocence, but the fangs of remorse tore my bosom, and would not forego their hold.
Excellent, Elizabeth! A murmur of approval was heard; but it was sparked by her generous interference, not in favor of poor Justine, who was facing public outrage with even more intensity, being accused of the worst ingratitude. She cried as Elizabeth spoke, but didn't respond. I felt extreme agitation and anguish throughout the entire trial. I believed in her innocence; I knew it. Could the demon who I had no doubt murdered my brother also, in his twisted games, have betrayed the innocent to death and disgrace? I couldn't bear the horror of my situation, and when I saw that the public opinion, along with the expressions of the judges, had already condemned my unfortunate victim, I rushed out of the courtroom in despair. The suffering of the accused didn't match mine; she was sustained by her innocence, but the claws of remorse tore at my heart and wouldn’t let go.
I passed a night of unmingled wretchedness. In the morning I went to the court; my lips and throat were parched. I dared not ask the fatal question; but I was known, and the officer guessed the cause of my visit. The ballots had been thrown; they were all black, and Justine was condemned.
I spent a night of pure misery. In the morning, I went to the court; my lips and throat were dry. I didn't dare to ask the devastating question, but I was recognized, and the officer seemed to know why I was there. The ballots had been cast; they were all black, and Justine was found guilty.
I cannot pretend to describe what I then felt. I had before experienced sensations of horror; and I have endeavoured to bestow upon them adequate expressions, but words cannot convey an idea of the heart-sickening despair that I then endured. The person to whom I addressed myself added, that Justine had already confessed her guilt. “That evidence,” he observed, “was hardly required in so glaring a case, but I am glad of it; and, indeed, none of our judges like to condemn a criminal upon circumstantial evidence, be it ever so decisive.”
I can't pretend to describe what I felt at that moment. I had experienced feelings of horror before, and I tried to express them adequately, but words can’t capture the heart-wrenching despair I was going through. The person I spoke to added that Justine had already admitted her guilt. “That evidence,” he noted, “was hardly needed in such a clear case, but I’m glad it exists; and honestly, none of our judges like to convict someone based on circumstantial evidence, no matter how convincing it is.”
When I returned home, Elizabeth eagerly demanded the result.
When I got home, Elizabeth eagerly asked for the result.
“My cousin,” replied I, “it is decided as you may have expected; all judges had rather that ten innocent should suffer, than that one guilty should escape. But she has confessed.”
“My cousin,” I replied, “it’s as you might have guessed; all judges would rather ten innocent people suffer than let one guilty person go free. But she has confessed.”
This was a dire blow to poor Elizabeth, who had relied with firmness upon Justine’s innocence. “Alas!” said she, “how shall I ever again believe in human benevolence? Justine, whom I loved and esteemed as my sister, how could she put on those smiles of innocence only to betray; her mild eyes seemed incapable of any severity or ill-humour, and yet she has committed a murder.”
This was a devastating blow to poor Elizabeth, who had firmly believed in Justine's innocence. “Oh no!” she said, “how can I ever trust in human kindness again? Justine, whom I loved and saw as my sister, how could she wear those innocent smiles only to betray me? Her gentle eyes seemed incapable of any harshness or negativity, and yet she has committed murder.”
Soon after we heard that the poor victim had expressed a wish to see my cousin. My father wished her not to go; but said, that he left it to her own judgment and feelings to decide. “Yes,” said Elizabeth, “I will go, although she is guilty; and you, Victor, shall accompany me: I cannot go alone.” The idea of this visit was torture to me, yet I could not refuse.
Soon after we found out that the poor victim wanted to see my cousin. My father didn't want her to go, but he said it was up to her judgment and feelings to decide. “Yes,” Elizabeth said, “I'll go, even though she’s guilty; and you, Victor, will come with me: I can’t go alone.” The thought of this visit was tormenting for me, but I couldn’t refuse.
We entered the gloomy prison-chamber, and beheld Justine sitting on some straw at the further end; her hands were manacled, and her head rested on her knees. She rose on seeing us enter; and when we were left alone with her, she threw herself at the feet of Elizabeth, weeping bitterly. My cousin wept also.
We walked into the dark prison room and saw Justine sitting on some straw at the far end; her hands were cuffed, and her head was resting on her knees. She got up when she saw us come in, and once we were alone with her, she threw herself at Elizabeth's feet, crying hard. My cousin cried too.
“Oh, Justine!” said she, “why did you rob me of my last consolation. I relied on your innocence; and although I was then very wretched, I was not so miserable as I am now.”
“Oh, Justine!” she said, “why did you take away my last comfort? I trusted in your innocence; and even though I was really sad back then, I wasn’t as miserable as I am now.”
“And do you also believe that I am so very, very wicked? Do you also join with my enemies to crush me?” Her voice was suffocated with sobs.
“And do you really think I’m that evil? Do you side with my enemies to bring me down?” Her voice broke with tears.
“Rise, my poor girl,” said Elizabeth, “why do you kneel, if you are innocent? I am not one of your enemies; I believed you guiltless, notwithstanding every evidence, until I heard that you had yourself declared your guilt. That report, you say, is false; and be assured, dear Justine, that nothing can shake my confidence in you for a moment, but your own confession.”
“Get up, my poor girl,” said Elizabeth, “why are you kneeling if you're innocent? I'm not one of your enemies; I believed you were innocent, despite all the evidence, until I heard that you had admitted your guilt. You say that report is false; and I promise you, dear Justine, that nothing can shake my confidence in you for a second except your own confession.”
“I did confess; but I confessed a lie. I confessed, that I might obtain absolution; but now that falsehood lies heavier at my heart than all my other sins. The God of heaven forgive me! Ever since I was condemned, my confessor has besieged me; he threatened and menaced, until I almost began to think that I was the monster that he said I was. He threatened excommunication and hell fire in my last moments, if I continued obdurate. Dear lady, I had none to support me; all looked on me as a wretch doomed to ignominy and perdition. What could I do? In an evil hour I subscribed to a lie; and now only am I truly miserable.”
“I did confess; but I confessed a lie. I confessed so I could get forgiveness; but now that falsehood weighs heavier on my heart than all my other sins. May God in heaven forgive me! Ever since I was condemned, my confessor has been pressuring me; he threatened and intimidated me until I almost started to believe I was the monster he claimed I was. He threatened excommunication and hellfire in my final moments if I stayed stubborn. Dear lady, I had no one to support me; everyone saw me as a miserable wretch doomed to shame and destruction. What could I do? In a moment of weakness, I went along with a lie; and now I am truly miserable.”
She paused, weeping, and then continued—“I thought with horror, my sweet lady, that you should believe your Justine, whom your blessed aunt had so highly honoured, and whom you loved, was a creature capable of a crime which none but the devil himself could have perpetrated. Dear William! dearest blessed child! I soon shall see you again in heaven, where we shall all be happy; and that consoles me, going as I am to suffer ignominy and death.”
She paused, crying, and then continued—“I thought with dread, my sweet lady, that you would believe your Justine, whom your dear aunt had praised so highly, and whom you loved, was someone capable of a crime only the devil himself could commit. Dear William! my precious child! I will soon see you again in heaven, where we will all be happy; and that comforts me as I face shame and death.”
“Oh, Justine! forgive me for having for one moment distrusted you. Why did you confess? But do not mourn, my dear girl; I will every where proclaim your innocence, and force belief. Yet you must die; you, my playfellow, my companion, my more than sister. I never can survive so horrible a misfortune.”
“Oh, Justine! Forgive me for doubting you, even for a moment. Why did you confess? But don’t be sad, my dear girl; I will shout your innocence from the rooftops and make people believe it. Yet you must die; you, my playmate, my companion, my more than sister. I can never survive such a horrible misfortune.”
“Dear, sweet Elizabeth, do not weep. You ought to raise me with thoughts of a better life, and elevate me from the petty cares of this world of injustice and strife. Do not you, excellent friend, drive me to despair.”
“Dear, sweet Elizabeth, don’t cry. You should lift me up with thoughts of a better life and help me rise above the trivial worries of this unjust and conflict-ridden world. Please, my wonderful friend, don’t push me into despair.”
“I will try to comfort you; but this, I fear, is an evil too deep and poignant to admit of consolation, for there is no hope. Yet heaven bless thee, my dearest Justine, with resignation, and a confidence elevated beyond this world. Oh! how I hate its shews and mockeries! when one creature is murdered, another is immediately deprived of life in a slow torturing manner; then the executioners, their hands yet reeking with the blood of innocence, believe that they have done a great deed. They call this retribution. Hateful name! When that word is pronounced, I know greater and more horrid punishments are going to be inflicted than the gloomiest tyrant has ever invented to satiate his utmost revenge. Yet this is not consolation for you, my Justine, unless indeed that you may glory in escaping from so miserable a den. Alas! I would I were in peace with my aunt and my lovely William, escaped from a world which is hateful to me, and the visages of men which I abhor.”
“I will try to comfort you, but I’m afraid this is a pain too deep and intense to allow for any real consolation, because there is no hope. Still, may heaven bless you, my dearest Justine, with acceptance and a mindset that rises above this world. Oh, how I detest its illusions and mockeries! When one person is murdered, another is slowly tortured to death; then the executioners, their hands still dripping with innocent blood, think they have accomplished something great. They call this retribution. Such a hateful term! When I hear that word, I know even worse and more horrific punishments are about to be inflicted than anything the darkest tyrant has ever dreamed up to fulfill his deepest revenge. But this doesn’t bring you any comfort, my Justine, unless perhaps you can take pride in escaping such a wretched place. Alas! I wish I were at peace with my aunt and my beautiful William, free from a world that I hate, and the faces of men that I loathe.”
Justine smiled languidly. “This, dear lady, is despair, and not resignation. I must not learn the lesson that you would teach me. Talk of something else, something that will bring peace, and not increase of misery.”
Justine smiled slowly. “This, dear lady, is despair, not resignation. I won’t learn the lesson you’re trying to teach me. Let’s talk about something else, something that will bring peace, not more misery.”
During this conversation I had retired to a corner of the prison-room, where I could conceal the horrid anguish that possessed me. Despair! Who dared talk of that? The poor victim, who on the morrow was to pass the dreary boundary between life and death, felt not as I did, such deep and bitter agony. I gnashed my teeth, and ground them together, uttering a groan that came from my inmost soul. Justine started. When she saw who it was, she approached me, and said, “Dear Sir, you are very kind to visit me; you, I hope, do not believe that I am guilty.”
During this conversation, I had stepped away to a corner of the prison room, where I could hide the terrible pain I was feeling. Despair! Who would dare to speak of that? The poor victim, who was to cross the bleak line between life and death the next day, didn’t feel the same deep and bitter anguish that I did. I gnashed my teeth and ground them together, letting out a groan that came from the depths of my soul. Justine flinched. When she saw it was me, she came closer and said, “Dear Sir, thank you for visiting me; I hope you don’t think I’m guilty.”
I could not answer. “No, Justine,” said Elizabeth; “he is more convinced of your innocence than I was; for even when he heard that you had confessed, he did not credit it.”
I couldn't answer. "No, Justine," Elizabeth said; "he believes in your innocence more than I did; because even when he heard that you had confessed, he didn't believe it."
“I truly thank him. In these last moments I feel the sincerest gratitude towards those who think of me with kindness. How sweet is the affection of others to such a wretch as I am! It removes more than half my misfortune; and I feel as if I could die in peace, now that my innocence is acknowledged by you, dear lady, and your cousin.”
“I really thank him. In these last moments, I feel the deepest gratitude towards those who treat me with kindness. How sweet is the affection of others for someone as miserable as I am! It eases more than half my suffering; and I feel like I could die in peace now that my innocence is recognized by you, dear lady, and your cousin.”
Thus the poor sufferer tried to comfort others and herself. She indeed gained the resignation she desired. But I, the true murderer, felt the never-dying worm alive in my bosom, which allowed of no hope or consolation. Elizabeth also wept, and was unhappy; but her’s also was the misery of innocence, which, like a cloud that passes over the fair moon, for a while hides, but cannot tarnish its brightness. Anguish and despair had penetrated into the core of my heart; I bore a hell within me, which nothing could extinguish. We staid several hours with Justine; and it was with great difficulty that Elizabeth could tear herself away. “I wish,” cried she, “that I were to die with you; I cannot live in this world of misery.”
So, the poor soul tried to comfort both herself and others. She did find the acceptance she was looking for. But I, the real murderer, felt the endless guilt gnawing at me, leaving no room for hope or comfort. Elizabeth also cried and was unhappy; but her sorrow was that of innocence, which, like a cloud passing over a beautiful moon, temporarily obscures its light but can't diminish its shine. Agony and despair had seeped into the depths of my heart; I carried a hell inside me that nothing could erase. We stayed for several hours with Justine; it was really hard for Elizabeth to pull herself away. “I wish,” she exclaimed, “that I could die with you; I can't go on in this world of misery.”
Justine assumed an air of cheerfulness, while she with difficulty repressed her bitter tears. She embraced Elizabeth, and said, in a voice of half-suppressed emotion, “Farewell, sweet lady, dearest Elizabeth, my beloved and only friend; may heaven in its bounty bless and preserve you; may this be the last misfortune that you will ever suffer. Live, and be happy, and make others so.”
Justine put on a brave face, even though she was struggling to hold back her tears. She hugged Elizabeth and said, her voice choked with emotion, “Goodbye, dear lady, my beloved Elizabeth, my only friend; may heaven bless and protect you; I hope this is the last hardship you’ll ever face. Live, be happy, and bring happiness to others.”
As we returned, Elizabeth said, “You know not, my dear Victor, how much I am relieved, now that I trust in the innocence of this unfortunate girl. I never could again have known peace, if I had been deceived in my reliance on her. For the moment that I did believe her guilty, I felt an anguish that I could not have long sustained. Now my heart is lightened. The innocent suffers; but she whom I thought amiable and good has not betrayed the trust I reposed in her, and I am consoled.”
As we headed back, Elizabeth said, “You have no idea, my dear Victor, how relieved I am now that I believe in the innocence of this unfortunate girl. I could never have found peace again if I had been fooled in my faith in her. The moment I thought she was guilty, I felt a pain I couldn’t have handled for long. Now my heart feels lighter. The innocent is suffering; but the one I believed to be kind and good hasn’t betrayed the trust I placed in her, and that brings me comfort.”
Amiable cousin! such were your thoughts, mild and gentle as your own dear eyes and voice. But I—I was a wretch, and none ever conceived of the misery that I then endured.
Amiable cousin! Those were your thoughts, gentle and kind like your lovely eyes and voice. But I—I was a miserable wretch, and no one could ever understand the pain I was going through.

FRANKENSTEIN;
or
THE MODERN PROMETHEUS.
IN THREE VOLUMES.
VOL. II.
IN THREE VOLUMES.
VOL. 2.
Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay
To mould me man? Did I solicit thee
From darkness to promote me?——
Did I ask you, Creator, from my clay
To shape me into a man? Did I request you
From the darkness to bring me into light?——
Paradise Lost.
Paradise Lost.
London:
PRINTED FOR
LACKINGTON, HUGHES, HARDING, MAVOR, & JONES,
FINSBURY SQUARE.
London:
PRINTED FOR
LACKINGTON, HUGHES, HARDING, MAVOR, & JONES,
FINSBURY SQUARE.
1818.
1818.
CHAPTER I.
Nothing is more painful to the human mind, than, after the feelings have been worked up by a quick succession of events, the dead calmness of inaction and certainty which follows, and deprives the soul both of hope and fear. Justine died; she rested; and I was alive. The blood flowed freely in my veins, but a weight of despair and remorse pressed on my heart, which nothing could remove. Sleep fled from my eyes; I wandered like an evil spirit, for I had committed deeds of mischief beyond description horrible, and more, much more, (I persuaded myself) was yet behind. Yet my heart overflowed with kindness, and the love of virtue. I had begun life with benevolent intentions, and thirsted for the moment when I should put them in practice, and make myself useful to my fellow-beings. Now all was blasted: instead of that serenity of conscience, which allowed me to look back upon the past with self-satisfaction, and from thence to gather promise of new hopes, I was seized by remorse and the sense of guilt, which hurried me away to a hell of intense tortures, such as no language can describe.
Nothing is more painful for the human mind than when, after being stirred up by a rapid series of events, the stillness of inaction and certainty sets in, stripping the soul of both hope and fear. Justine died; she found peace; and I was still alive. Blood flowed freely in my veins, but a heavy weight of despair and guilt pressed on my heart that nothing could lift. Sleep eluded me; I roamed like a tormented spirit because I had committed unspeakably horrific acts, and worse, so much worse, I told myself, still awaited. Yet my heart was filled with kindness and a love for what is right. I had started life with good intentions and longed for the moment when I could put them into action and be useful to others. Now everything was shattered: instead of enjoying a clear conscience that allowed me to reflect on the past with satisfaction and gather new hopes, I was overwhelmed by remorse and guilt, dragging me into a hell of intense torment that no words can capture.
This state of mind preyed upon my health, which had entirely recovered from the first shock it had sustained. I shunned the face of man; all sound of joy or complacency was torture to me; solitude was my only consolation—deep, dark, death-like solitude.
This mindset took a toll on my health, which had fully bounced back from the initial shock. I avoided seeing anyone; all sounds of happiness or contentment felt like torture to me; solitude was my only comfort—deep, dark, death-like solitude.
My father observed with pain the alteration perceptible in my disposition and habits, and endeavoured to reason with me on the folly of giving way to immoderate grief. “Do you think, Victor,” said he, “that I do not suffer also? No one could love a child more than I loved your brother;” (tears came into his eyes as he spoke); “but is it not a duty to the survivors, that we should refrain from augmenting their unhappiness by an appearance of immoderate grief? It is also a duty owed to yourself; for excessive sorrow prevents improvement or enjoyment, or even the discharge of daily usefulness, without which no man is fit for society.”
My father watched sadly as he noticed the changes in my mood and habits, and he tried to talk to me about the foolishness of giving in to overwhelming grief. “Do you think, Victor,” he said, “that I don’t suffer too? No one could love a child more than I loved your brother;” (tears filled his eyes as he spoke); “but isn’t it our duty to those who are still here to not make their sadness worse by acting so grief-stricken? It’s also a responsibility to yourself; excessive sorrow stops you from improving, enjoying life, or even doing your daily tasks, without which no one is capable of being part of society.”
This advice, although good, was totally inapplicable to my case; I should have been the first to hide my grief, and console my friends, if remorse had not mingled its bitterness with my other sensations. Now I could only answer my father with a look of despair, and endeavour to hide myself from his view.
This advice, while good, was completely irrelevant to my situation; I would have been the first to hide my sadness and comfort my friends, if it weren't for the guilt mixing its bitterness with my other feelings. Now, I could only respond to my father with a look of despair and try to hide from his sight.
About this time we retired to our house at Belrive. This change was particularly agreeable to me. The shutting of the gates regularly at ten o’clock, and the impossibility of remaining on the lake after that hour, had rendered our residence within the walls of Geneva very irksome to me. I was now free. Often, after the rest of the family had retired for the night, I took the boat, and passed many hours upon the water. Sometimes, with my sails set, I was carried by the wind; and sometimes, after rowing into the middle of the lake, I left the boat to pursue its own course, and gave way to my own miserable reflections. I was often tempted, when all was at peace around me, and I the only unquiet thing that wandered restless in a scene so beautiful and heavenly, if I except some bat, or the frogs, whose harsh and interrupted croaking was heard only when I approached the shore—often, I say, I was tempted to plunge into the silent lake, that the waters might close over me and my calamities for ever. But I was restrained, when I thought of the heroic and suffering Elizabeth, whom I tenderly loved, and whose existence was bound up in mine. I thought also of my father, and surviving brother: should I by my base desertion leave them exposed and unprotected to the malice of the fiend whom I had let loose among them?
Around this time, we went back to our house at Belrive. This change was especially pleasant for me. The gates closing at ten o'clock and the fact that I couldn't stay on the lake after that hour made living in Geneva very frustrating. Now I was free. Often, after the rest of the family had gone to bed, I would take the boat out and spend hours on the water. Sometimes, with my sails up, I would be carried by the wind; other times, I would row out into the middle of the lake, let the boat drift, and give in to my dark thoughts. I was often tempted, when everything around me was calm and I was the only restless soul in such a beautiful and serene setting—except for a bat or the frogs whose loud croaking I could only hear when I got close to the shore—often, I say, I considered diving into the still lake, hoping the waters would cover me and my troubles forever. But I held back when I thought about the brave and suffering Elizabeth, whom I loved deeply, and whose life was intertwined with mine. I also thought of my father and my surviving brother: would I betray them and leave them vulnerable to the malice of the monster I had unleashed among them?
At these moments I wept bitterly, and wished that peace would revisit my mind only that I might afford them consolation and happiness. But that could not be. Remorse extinguished every hope. I had been the author of unalterable evils; and I lived in daily fear, lest the monster whom I had created should perpetrate some new wickedness. I had an obscure feeling that all was not over, and that he would still commit some signal crime, which by its enormity should almost efface the recollection of the past. There was always scope for fear, so long as any thing I loved remained behind. My abhorrence of this fiend cannot be conceived. When I thought of him, I gnashed my teeth, my eyes became inflamed, and I ardently wished to extinguish that life which I had so thoughtlessly bestowed. When I reflected on his crimes and malice, my hatred and revenge burst all bounds of moderation. I would have made a pilgrimage to the highest peak of the Andes, could I, when there, have precipitated him to their base. I wished to see him again, that I might wreak the utmost extent of anger on his head, and avenge the deaths of William and Justine.
During these moments, I cried bitterly and wished for peace to return to my mind so that I could bring them comfort and happiness. But that wasn't possible. Guilt crushed every hope. I had created irreversible harm, and I lived in constant fear that the monster I had brought to life would commit some new atrocity. I had a nagging feeling that everything wasn’t over, and that he would still carry out some horrific crime that would almost erase the memory of the past. There was always a reason to be afraid, as long as anything I loved was left. My hatred for this creature is beyond imagination. When I thought of him, I ground my teeth, my eyes burned with anger, and I desperately wished to end the life I had so carelessly given him. When I considered his crimes and evil, my hatred and desire for revenge shattered all limits of restraint. I would have traveled to the highest peak of the Andes, just to throw him off its edge. I wanted to see him again so I could unleash my full fury on him and avenge the deaths of William and Justine.
Our house was the house of mourning. My father’s health was deeply shaken by the horror of the recent events. Elizabeth was sad and desponding; she no longer took delight in her ordinary occupations; all pleasure seemed to her sacrilege toward the dead; eternal woe and tears she then thought was the just tribute she should pay to innocence so blasted and destroyed. She was no longer that happy creature, who in earlier youth wandered with me on the banks of the lake, and talked with ecstacy of our future prospects. She had become grave, and often conversed of the inconstancy of fortune, and the instability of human life.
Our home was filled with grief. My father's health had been seriously affected by the trauma of recent events. Elizabeth was sad and downcast; she no longer found joy in her usual activities; every bit of enjoyment felt like a disrespect to the dead. She believed that eternal sorrow and tears were the only fitting response to such shattered and lost innocence. She was no longer the vibrant person who, in her younger days, used to wander with me by the lake, passionately discussing our future dreams. She had become serious and often talked about the unpredictability of fate and the uncertainty of human existence.
“When I reflect, my dear cousin,” said she, “on the miserable death of Justine Moritz, I no longer see the world and its works as they before appeared to me. Before, I looked upon the accounts of vice and injustice, that I read in books or heard from others, as tales of ancient days, or imaginary evils; at least they were remote, and more familiar to reason than to the imagination; but now misery has come home, and men appear to me as monsters thirsting for each other’s blood. Yet I am certainly unjust. Every body believed that poor girl to be guilty; and if she could have committed the crime for which she suffered, assuredly she would have been the most depraved of human creatures. For the sake of a few jewels, to have murdered the son of her benefactor and friend, a child whom she had nursed from its birth, and appeared to love as if it had been her own! I could not consent to the death of any human being; but certainly I should have thought such a creature unfit to remain in the society of men. Yet she was innocent. I know, I feel she was innocent; you are of the same opinion, and that confirms me. Alas! Victor, when falsehood can look so like the truth, who can assure themselves of certain happiness? I feel as if I were walking on the edge of a precipice, towards which thousands are crowding, and endeavouring to plunge me into the abyss. William and Justine were assassinated, and the murderer escapes; he walks about the world free, and perhaps respected. But even if I were condemned to suffer on the scaffold for the same crimes, I would not change places with such a wretch.”
“When I think about the terrible death of Justine Moritz, my dear cousin,” she said, “I no longer see the world and its creations the way I used to. Before, I viewed the stories of vice and injustice that I read in books or heard from others as tales from ancient times or imaginary horrors; they seemed distant and were easier to rationalize than to picture in my mind. But now, misery has hit home, and people appear to me as monsters eager to spill each other’s blood. Yet, I admit, I'm being unfair. Everyone believed that poor girl was guilty, and if she had been capable of the crime for which she suffered, she would certainly have been one of the most corrupt people imaginable. To murder the child of her benefactor and friend, someone she had cared for since birth and seemed to love as if he were her own, over a few jewels? I could never agree to the death of any human being, but I would have thought such a person unworthy of living among others. Yet she was innocent. I know, I feel she was innocent; you think so too, and that reassures me. Alas! Victor, when lies can appear so much like the truth, who can truly guarantee their happiness? I feel like I’m walking on the edge of a cliff, with thousands pushing me toward the void. William and Justine were murdered, and the killer is still out there; he walks freely in the world and may even be respected. But even if I were sentenced to die for the same crimes, I wouldn’t trade places with such a wretch.”
I listened to this discourse with the extremest agony. I, not in deed, but in effect, was the true murderer. Elizabeth read my anguish in my countenance, and kindly taking my hand said, “My dearest cousin, you must calm yourself. These events have affected me, God knows how deeply; but I am not so wretched as you are. There is an expression of despair, and sometimes of revenge, in your countenance, that makes me tremble. Be calm, my dear Victor; I would sacrifice my life to your peace. We surely shall be happy: quiet in our native country, and not mingling in the world, what can disturb our tranquillity?”
I listened to this conversation with intense pain. I wasn’t the actual murderer, but in a way, I was responsible. Elizabeth saw my suffering on my face and, kindly taking my hand, said, “My dearest cousin, you need to calm down. These events have affected me deeply; God knows how much. But I’m not as miserable as you are. There’s a look of despair, and sometimes vengeance, on your face that frightens me. Please stay calm, my dear Victor; I would give my life for your peace. We will surely be happy: living quietly in our hometown, away from the outside world, what could possibly disrupt our peace?”
She shed tears as she said this, distrusting the very solace that she gave; but at the same time she smiled, that she might chase away the fiend that lurked in my heart. My father, who saw in the unhappiness that was painted in my face only an exaggeration of that sorrow which I might naturally feel, thought that an amusement suited to my taste would be the best means of restoring to me my wonted serenity. It was from this cause that he had removed to the country; and, induced by the same motive, he now proposed that we should all make an excursion to the valley of Chamounix. I had been there before, but Elizabeth and Ernest never had; and both had often expressed an earnest desire to see the scenery of this place, which had been described to them as so wonderful and sublime. Accordingly we departed from Geneva on this tour about the middle of the month of August, nearly two months after the death of Justine.
She cried as she said this, doubting the very comfort she offered; but at the same time, she smiled to chase away the darkness that lingered in my heart. My father, who saw the sadness on my face as just an overreaction to the grief I naturally felt, thought that a bit of fun would be the best way to bring back my usual calm. This was why he had moved us to the countryside; and motivated by the same reason, he now suggested that we all take a trip to the valley of Chamounix. I had been there before, but Elizabeth and Ernest never had, and both had often expressed a strong desire to see the amazing scenery described to them. So, we left Geneva for this trip around the middle of August, nearly two months after Justine's death.
The weather was uncommonly fine; and if mine had been a sorrow to be chased away by any fleeting circumstance, this excursion would certainly have had the effect intended by my father. As it was, I was somewhat interested in the scene; it sometimes lulled, although it could not extinguish my grief. During the first day we travelled in a carriage. In the morning we had seen the mountains at a distance, towards which we gradually advanced. We perceived that the valley through which we wound, and which was formed by the river Arve, whose course we followed, closed in upon us by degrees; and when the sun had set, we beheld immense mountains and precipices overhanging us on every side, and heard the sound of the river raging among rocks, and the dashing of water-falls around.
The weather was unusually nice, and if my sadness could be chased away by anything temporary, this trip would have definitely done the trick for my dad. As it was, I was somewhat interested in what I saw; it sometimes provided some relief, but it couldn't completely erase my sorrow. On the first day, we traveled in a carriage. In the morning, we saw the mountains in the distance, and we gradually made our way toward them. We noticed that the valley we were winding through, shaped by the Arve River that we were following, closed in on us more and more. When the sun set, we found ourselves surrounded by towering mountains and cliffs on all sides, and we could hear the sound of the river raging among the rocks and the splashing of waterfalls nearby.
The next day we pursued our journey upon mules; and as we ascended still higher, the valley assumed a more magnificent and astonishing character. Ruined castles hanging on the precipices of piny mountains; the impetuous Arve, and cottages every here and there peeping forth from among the trees, formed a scene of singular beauty. But it was augmented and rendered sublime by the mighty Alps, whose white and shining pyramids and domes towered above all, as belonging to another earth, the habitations of another race of beings.
The next day we continued our journey on mules, and as we climbed even higher, the valley became more magnificent and amazing. Ruined castles clinging to the cliffs of pine-covered mountains, the rushing Arve river, and cottages occasionally peeking out from the trees created a scene of unique beauty. But it was enhanced and made sublime by the towering Alps, with their white, shining pyramids and domes standing above everything else, as if they belonged to another world, the home of a different race of beings.
We passed the bridge of Pelissier, where the ravine, which the river forms, opened before us, and we began to ascend the mountain that overhangs it. Soon after we entered the valley of Chamounix. This valley is more wonderful and sublime, but not so beautiful and picturesque as that of Servox, through which we had just passed. The high and snowy mountains were its immediate boundaries; but we saw no more ruined castles and fertile fields. Immense glaciers approached the road; we heard the rumbling thunder of the falling avalanche, and marked the smoke of its passage. Mont Blânc, the supreme and magnificent Mont Blânc, raised itself from the surrounding aiguilles, and its tremendous dome overlooked the valley.
We crossed the Pelissier Bridge, where the ravine made by the river opened up in front of us, and we started climbing the mountain that loomed above it. Soon after, we entered the valley of Chamonix. This valley is more incredible and awe-inspiring, but not as beautiful and picturesque as the Servox valley we had just passed through. The towering snowy mountains surrounded it; however, we no longer saw ruined castles or fertile fields. Huge glaciers came close to the road; we could hear the rumbling thunder of avalanches falling and saw the smoke from their descent. Mont Blanc, the towering and magnificent Mont Blanc, rose above the surrounding peaks, its massive dome overlooking the valley.
During this journey, I sometimes joined Elizabeth, and exerted myself to point out to her the various beauties of the scene. I often suffered my mule to lag behind, and indulged in the misery of reflection. At other times I spurred on the animal before my companions, that I might forget them, the world, and, more than all, myself. When at a distance, I alighted, and threw myself on the grass, weighed down by horror and despair. At eight in the evening I arrived at Chamounix. My father and Elizabeth were very much fatigued; Ernest, who accompanied us, was delighted, and in high spirits: the only circumstance that detracted from his pleasure was the south wind, and the rain it seemed to promise for the next day.
During this journey, I sometimes walked with Elizabeth and made an effort to point out the different beauties of the scene. I often let my mule fall behind and indulged in the misery of my thoughts. At other times, I urged the animal forward before my companions so I could forget about them, the world, and, most importantly, myself. When we were at a distance, I got off and lay on the grass, overwhelmed by horror and despair. By eight in the evening, I arrived at Chamounix. My father and Elizabeth were very tired; Ernest, who joined us, was thrilled and in a great mood: the only thing that dampened his joy was the south wind and the rain it seemed to promise for the next day.
We retired early to our apartments, but not to sleep; at least I did not. I remained many hours at the window, watching the pallid lightning that played above Mont Blânc, and listening to the rushing of the Arve, which ran below my window.
We went back to our apartments early, but not to sleep; at least I didn’t. I spent hours at the window, watching the pale lightning flicker above Mont Blanc and listening to the rush of the Arve flowing below my window.
CHAPTER II.
The next day, contrary to the prognostications of our guides, was fine, although clouded. We visited the source of the Arveiron, and rode about the valley until evening. These sublime and magnificent scenes afforded me the greatest consolation that I was capable of receiving. They elevated me from all littleness of feeling; and although they did not remove my grief, they subdued and tranquillized it. In some degree, also, they diverted my mind from the thoughts over which it had brooded for the last month. I returned in the evening, fatigued, but less unhappy, and conversed with my family with more cheerfulness than had been my custom for some time. My father was pleased, and Elizabeth overjoyed. “My dear cousin,” said she, “you see what happiness you diffuse when you are happy; do not relapse again!”
The next day, against what our guides had predicted, was nice, though a bit cloudy. We visited the source of the Arveiron and explored the valley until evening. These breathtaking and beautiful sights gave me the greatest comfort I could hope for. They lifted me above any small feelings; while they didn’t erase my sadness, they calmed and soothed it. In a way, they also distracted me from the thoughts I had been dwelling on for the past month. I returned in the evening, tired but less unhappy, and I chatted with my family more cheerfully than I had in a while. My father was pleased, and Elizabeth was thrilled. “My dear cousin,” she said, “you see how much happiness you bring when you’re happy; don’t fall back into sadness again!”
The following morning the rain poured down in torrents, and thick mists hid the summits of the mountains. I rose early, but felt unusually melancholy. The rain depressed me; my old feelings recurred, and I was miserable. I knew how disappointed my father would be at this sudden change, and I wished to avoid him until I had recovered myself so far as to be enabled to conceal those feelings that overpowered me. I knew that they would remain that day at the inn; and as I had ever inured myself to rain, moisture, and cold, I resolved to go alone to the summit of Montanvert. I remembered the effect that the view of the tremendous and ever-moving glacier had produced upon my mind when I first saw it. It had then filled me with a sublime ecstacy that gave wings to the soul, and allowed it to soar from the obscure world to light and joy. The sight of the awful and majestic in nature had indeed always the effect of solemnizing my mind, and causing me to forget the passing cares of life. I determined to go alone, for I was well acquainted with the path, and the presence of another would destroy the solitary grandeur of the scene.
The next morning, the rain came down hard, and thick fog covered the mountain tops. I got up early but felt strangely down. The rain brought me down; my old feelings came back, and I was miserable. I knew my father would be disappointed by this sudden change, so I wanted to avoid him until I could pull myself together enough to hide what I was feeling. I knew they would stay at the inn that day, and since I had always gotten used to rain, dampness, and cold, I decided to go alone to the top of Montanvert. I remembered how the view of the massive, ever-moving glacier had impacted me the first time I saw it. It had filled me with a euphoric bliss that made my spirit soar from the dull world to one of light and joy. Witnessing the awe-inspiring and majestic aspects of nature had always solemnized my mind and helped me forget the worries of daily life. I made up my mind to go alone because I was familiar with the path, and having someone else there would ruin the solitude and grandeur of the scene.
The ascent is precipitous, but the path is cut into continual and short windings, which enable you to surmount the perpendicularity of the mountain. It is a scene terrifically desolate. In a thousand spots the traces of the winter avalanche may be perceived, where trees lie broken and strewed on the ground; some entirely destroyed, others bent, leaning upon the jutting rocks of the mountain, or transversely upon other trees. The path, as you ascend higher, is intersected by ravines of snow, down which stones continually roll from above; one of them is particularly dangerous, as the slightest sound, such as even speaking in a loud voice, produces a concussion of air sufficient to draw destruction upon the head of the speaker. The pines are not tall or luxuriant, but they are sombre, and add an air of severity to the scene. I looked on the valley beneath; vast mists were rising from the rivers which ran through it, and curling in thick wreaths around the opposite mountains, whose summits were hid in the uniform clouds, while rain poured from the dark sky, and added to the melancholy impression I received from the objects around me. Alas! why does man boast of sensibilities superior to those apparent in the brute; it only renders them more necessary beings. If our impulses were confined to hunger, thirst, and desire, we might be nearly free; but now we are moved by every wind that blows, and a chance word or scene that that word may convey to us.
The climb is steep, but the path is made up of constant short twists that make it easier to get up the sheer mountainside. The landscape is incredibly desolate. In countless places, you can see the aftermath of winter avalanches, where trees are broken and scattered across the ground; some are completely wrecked, while others are bent, leaning against the jutting rocks or other trees. As you go higher, the path is crossed by snowy ravines, with stones rolling down from above; one particular spot is especially dangerous, because even the slightest sound, like speaking loudly, can create an air disturbance strong enough to bring disaster to the person making the noise. The pine trees aren’t tall or lush, but they have a somber quality that adds seriousness to the scene. I looked down at the valley; huge mists were rising from the rivers flowing through it, curling in thick spirals around the opposite mountains, whose peaks were shrouded in uniform clouds, while rain fell from the dark sky, adding to the gloomy feeling I had from everything around me. Alas! Why does humanity take pride in emotions that seem greater than those of animals; it only makes us more dependent beings. If our feelings were limited to hunger, thirst, and desire, we might be nearly free; but now we are swayed by every breeze that blows and by any chance word or image that word might bring to mind.
We wake up; a wandering thought spoils the day. We feel, think, or reason; laugh, or cry,
Embrace sweet sadness, or let our worries go; It's the same: whether it's joy or sorrow,
The way out is still clear.
A person's past may never be the same as their future; Nothing lasts but change!
It was nearly noon when I arrived at the top of the ascent. For some time I sat upon the rock that overlooks the sea of ice. A mist covered both that and the surrounding mountains. Presently a breeze dissipated the cloud, and I descended upon the glacier. The surface is very uneven, rising like the waves of a troubled sea, descending low, and interspersed by rifts that sink deep. The field of ice is almost a league in width, but I spent nearly two hours in crossing it. The opposite mountain is a bare perpendicular rock. From the side where I now stood Montanvert was exactly opposite, at the distance of a league; and above it rose Mont Blânc, in awful majesty. I remained in a recess of the rock, gazing on this wonderful and stupendous scene. The sea, or rather the vast river of ice, wound among its dependent mountains, whose aërial summits hung over its recesses. Their icy and glittering peaks shone in the sunlight over the clouds. My heart, which was before sorrowful, now swelled with something like joy; I exclaimed—“Wandering spirits, if indeed ye wander, and do not rest in your narrow beds, allow me this faint happiness, or take me, as your companion, away from the joys of life.”
It was almost noon when I reached the top of the climb. For a while, I sat on the rock overlooking the sea of ice. A mist shrouded both that and the nearby mountains. Soon, a breeze cleared the fog, and I made my way down onto the glacier. The surface is really uneven, rising and falling like choppy waves, with deep cracks interspersed throughout. The ice field is nearly a mile wide, but it took me almost two hours to cross it. The mountain opposite is a sheer, bare rock face. From where I stood, Montanvert was directly across from me, a mile away; and above it loomed Mont Blanc in its terrifying grandeur. I stayed in a nook of the rock, taking in this amazing and breathtaking scene. The sea, or rather the vast river of ice, twisted among its surrounding mountains, whose lofty peaks towered over its depths. Their icy and sparkling summits glistened in the sunlight above the clouds. My heart, which had been heavy with sorrow, now swelled with something resembling joy; I exclaimed—“Wandering spirits, if you truly wander and don’t rest in your confined graves, grant me this slight happiness, or take me with you, away from the joys of life.”
As I said this, I suddenly beheld the figure of a man, at some distance, advancing towards me with superhuman speed. He bounded over the crevices in the ice, among which I had walked with caution; his stature also, as he approached, seemed to exceed that of man. I was troubled: a mist came over my eyes, and I felt a faintness seize me; but I was quickly restored by the cold gale of the mountains. I perceived, as the shape came nearer, (sight tremendous and abhorred!) that it was the wretch whom I had created. I trembled with rage and horror, resolving to wait his approach, and then close with him in mortal combat. He approached; his countenance bespoke bitter anguish, combined with disdain and malignity, while its unearthly ugliness rendered it almost too horrible for human eyes. But I scarcely observed this; anger and hatred had at first deprived me of utterance, and I recovered only to overwhelm him with words expressive of furious detestation and contempt.
As I said this, I suddenly saw a man in the distance, moving toward me with incredible speed. He leaped over the cracks in the ice, which I had crossed carefully; his height also seemed to surpass that of a normal human as he got closer. I felt uneasy: a haze clouded my vision, and I was hit by a wave of faintness; but I quickly revived with the cold wind from the mountains. As the figure came nearer, I realized, with a mix of dread and disgust, that it was the creature I had brought to life. I shook with anger and fear, determined to wait for him to come closer and then confront him in a fight to the death. He approached; his face showed deep pain, along with contempt and malice, while its unsettling ugliness made it nearly unbearable to look at. But I hardly noticed this; rage and hatred had initially left me speechless, and I regained my voice only to unleash a torrent of furious disdain and contempt at him.
“Devil!” I exclaimed, “do you dare approach me? and do not you fear the fierce vengeance of my arm wreaked on your miserable head? Begone, vile insect! or rather stay, that I may trample you to dust! and, oh, that I could, with the extinction of your miserable existence, restore those victims whom you have so diabolically murdered!”
"Devil!" I shouted, "do you really dare come near me? Don't you fear the fierce punishment my hand will unleash on your pathetic head? Go away, you worthless insect! Or actually, stay so I can crush you to dust! And, oh, if only by ending your miserable existence I could bring back those victims you have so wickedly killed!"
“I expected this reception,” said the dæmon. “All men hate the wretched; how then must I be hated, who am miserable beyond all living things! Yet you, my creator, detest and spurn me, thy creature, to whom thou art bound by ties only dissoluble by the annihilation of one of us. You purpose to kill me. How dare you sport thus with life? Do your duty towards me, and I will do mine towards you and the rest of mankind. If you will comply with my conditions, I will leave them and you at peace; but if you refuse, I will glut the maw of death, until it be satiated with the blood of your remaining friends.”
“I expected this reaction,” said the dæmon. “Everyone hates the wretched; how much more must they hate me, who am more miserable than all living beings! Yet you, my creator, despise and reject me, your creature, to whom you are connected by bonds that can only be broken by the destruction of one of us. You plan to kill me. How dare you play with life like this? Do your duty towards me, and I will do mine towards you and the rest of humanity. If you agree to my conditions, I will leave you and them in peace; but if you refuse, I will fill the void of death until it is satisfied with the blood of your remaining friends.”
“Abhorred monster! fiend that thou art! the tortures of hell are too mild a vengeance for thy crimes. Wretched devil! you reproach me with your creation; come on then, that I may extinguish the spark which I so negligently bestowed.”
“Detestable monster! You wicked being! The punishments of hell are too gentle a punishment for your crimes. Miserable devil! You blame me for bringing you to life; come on, so I can snuff out the spark I carelessly gave you.”
My rage was without bounds; I sprang on him, impelled by all the feelings which can arm one being against the existence of another.
My rage was limitless; I lunged at him, driven by all the emotions that can make one person turn against another’s existence.
He easily eluded me, and said,
He easily got away from me and said,
“Be calm! I entreat you to hear me, before you give vent to your hatred on my devoted head. Have I not suffered enough, that you seek to increase my misery? Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it. Remember, thou hast made me more powerful than thyself; my height is superior to thine; my joints more supple. But I will not be tempted to set myself in opposition to thee. I am thy creature, and I will be even mild and docile to my natural lord and king, if thou wilt also perform thy part, the which thou owest me. Oh, Frankenstein, be not equitable to every other, and trample upon me alone, to whom thy justice, and even thy clemency and affection, is most due. Remember, that I am thy creature: I ought to be thy Adam; but I am rather the fallen angel, whom thou drivest from joy for no misdeed. Every where I see bliss, from which I alone am irrevocably excluded. I was benevolent and good; misery made me a fiend. Make me happy, and I shall again be virtuous.”
“Please, calm down! I beg you to listen to me before you unleash your anger on me. Haven't I suffered enough without you trying to make things worse? Life, even if it’s just a series of struggles, is precious to me, and I will fight for it. Remember, you have made me stronger than you; I am taller and more flexible. But I won't be tempted to stand against you. I am your creation, and I will be gentle and submissive to my rightful master, if you fulfill your part of the bargain, which you owe me. Oh, Frankenstein, don’t treat me like everyone else and crush me alone, as your justice and mercy are most deserved by me. Remember, I am your creature: I should be your Adam; instead, I am like the fallen angel, cast out from happiness for no wrongdoing. Everywhere I see happiness, from which I am permanently excluded. I was kind and good; misery turned me into a monster. Make me happy, and I will be virtuous again.”
“Begone! I will not hear you. There can be no community between you and me; we are enemies. Begone, or let us try our strength in a fight, in which one must fall.”
“Get lost! I won’t listen to you. There can be no connection between you and me; we are enemies. Leave, or let’s settle this with a fight, where one of us has to go down.”
“How can I move thee? Will no entreaties cause thee to turn a favourable eye upon thy creature, who implores thy goodness and compassion? Believe me, Frankenstein: I was benevolent; my soul glowed with love and humanity: but am I not alone, miserably alone? You, my creator, abhor me; what hope can I gather from your fellow-creatures, who owe me nothing? they spurn and hate me. The desert mountains and dreary glaciers are my refuge. I have wandered here many days; the caves of ice, which I only do not fear, are a dwelling to me, and the only one which man does not grudge. These bleak skies I hail, for they are kinder to me than your fellow-beings. If the multitude of mankind knew of my existence, they would do as you do, and arm themselves for my destruction. Shall I not then hate them who abhor me? I will keep no terms with my enemies. I am miserable, and they shall share my wretchedness. Yet it is in your power to recompense me, and deliver them from an evil which it only remains for you to make so great, that not only you and your family, but thousands of others, shall be swallowed up in the whirlwinds of its rage. Let your compassion be moved, and do not disdain me. Listen to my tale: when you have heard that, abandon or commiserate me, as you shall judge that I deserve. But hear me. The guilty are allowed, by human laws, bloody as they may be, to speak in their own defence before they are condemned. Listen to me, Frankenstein. You accuse me of murder; and yet you would, with a satisfied conscience, destroy your own creature. Oh, praise the eternal justice of man! Yet I ask you not to spare me: listen to me; and then, if you can, and if you will, destroy the work of your hands.”
“How can I get through to you? Will no pleas make you look kindly on your creation, who begs for your kindness and compassion? Believe me, Frankenstein: I was good-hearted; my soul was filled with love and humanity. But am I not alone, terribly alone? You, my creator, reject me; what hope can I have from your fellow humans, who owe me nothing? They scorn and hate me. The barren mountains and desolate glaciers are my refuge. I’ve wandered here for many days; the ice caves, which I fear the least, are the only home I know that humans don't begrudge. I welcome these bleak skies, for they are kinder to me than your kind. If the masses knew I existed, they would do as you do and prepare for my destruction. Should I not then hate those who loathe me? I will not negotiate with my enemies. I am miserable, and they will share in my suffering. Yet it is in your power to reward me, and save them from a calamity that you can make so great that not only you and your family, but thousands more, could be caught in its fury. Let your compassion be stirred, and do not turn away from me. Hear my story: after that, you can abandon or pity me, depending on what you think I deserve. But listen to me. Even those guilty under human law, as harsh as it may be, are allowed to speak in their defense before being condemned. Listen to me, Frankenstein. You accuse me of murder; yet you would, with a clear conscience, destroy your own creation. Oh, the so-called justice of mankind! Yet I do not ask for mercy: just listen to me; then, if you can, and if you choose, destroy what you have made.”
“Why do you call to my remembrance circumstances of which I shudder to reflect, that I have been the miserable origin and author? Cursed be the day, abhorred devil, in which you first saw light! Cursed (although I curse myself) be the hands that formed you! You have made me wretched beyond expression. You have left me no power to consider whether I am just to you, or not. Begone! relieve me from the sight of your detested form.”
“Why do you bring up memories that make me shudder, memories of which I am the miserable cause and creator? Cursed be the day, hated creature, that you were born! Cursed (though I also curse myself) be the hands that made you! You have made me incredibly miserable. You’ve taken away my ability to even think about whether I’m treating you fairly or not. Go away! Get me away from the sight of your loathed form.”
“Thus I relieve thee, my creator,” he said, and placed his hated hands before my eyes, which I flung from me with violence; “thus I take from thee a sight which you abhor. Still thou canst listen to me, and grant me thy compassion. By the virtues that I once possessed, I demand this from you. Hear my tale; it is long and strange, and the temperature of this place is not fitting to your fine sensations; come to the hut upon the mountain. The sun is yet high in the heavens; before it descends to hide itself behind yon snowy precipices, and illuminate another world, you will have heard my story, and can decide. On you it rests, whether I quit for ever the neighbourhood of man, and lead a harmless life, or become the scourge of your fellow-creatures, and the author of your own speedy ruin.”
“Now I free you, my creator,” he said, placing his despised hands in front of my eyes, which I violently pushed away; “this way, I take away a view that you hate. Still, you can listen to me and show me your compassion. By the virtues I once had, I ask this of you. Hear my story; it’s long and strange, and the atmosphere here isn’t suited to your delicate sensibilities; come to the hut on the mountain. The sun is still high in the sky; before it sets and disappears behind those snowy cliffs to light up another world, you'll have heard my story and can make your decision. It’s up to you whether I leave the presence of humanity forever and live a peaceful life, or become a menace to your fellow beings and bring about your own swift destruction.”
As he said this, he led the way across the ice: I followed. My heart was full, and I did not answer him; but, as I proceeded, I weighed the various arguments that he had used, and determined at least to listen to his tale. I was partly urged by curiosity, and compassion confirmed my resolution. I had hitherto supposed him to be the murderer of my brother, and I eagerly sought a confirmation or denial of this opinion. For the first time, also, I felt what the duties of a creator towards his creature were, and that I ought to render him happy before I complained of his wickedness. These motives urged me to comply with his demand. We crossed the ice, therefore, and ascended the opposite rock. The air was cold, and the rain again began to descend: we entered the hut, the fiend with an air of exultation, I with a heavy heart, and depressed spirits. But I consented to listen; and, seating myself by the fire which my odious companion had lighted, he thus began his tale.
As he said this, he led the way across the ice: I followed him. My heart was heavy, and I didn’t reply; but as I walked, I considered the different arguments he had made and decided at least to hear his story. I was partly driven by curiosity, and my compassion strengthened my resolve. Until now, I had thought he was the murderer of my brother, and I eagerly sought either confirmation or denial of that belief. For the first time, I also understood what a creator's responsibilities toward their creature were, and that I should try to make him happy before I complained about his wrongdoing. These reasons pushed me to agree to his request. So we crossed the ice and climbed up the opposite rock. The air was cold, and the rain started to fall again. We entered the hut, with the fiend feeling triumphant and me with a heavy heart and gloomy spirit. But I agreed to listen, and as I sat by the fire that my detestable companion had started, he began his story.
CHAPTER III.
“It is with considerable difficulty that I remember the original æra of my being: all the events of that period appear confused and indistinct. A strange multiplicity of sensations seized me, and I saw, felt, heard, and smelt, at the same time; and it was, indeed, a long time before I learned to distinguish between the operations of my various senses. By degrees, I remember, a stronger light pressed upon my nerves, so that I was obliged to shut my eyes. Darkness then came over me, and troubled me; but hardly had I felt this, when, by opening my eyes, as I now suppose, the light poured in upon me again. I walked, and, I believe, descended; but I presently found a great alteration in my sensations. Before, dark and opaque bodies had surrounded me, impervious to my touch or sight; but I now found that I could wander on at liberty, with no obstacles which I could not either surmount or avoid. The light became more and more oppressive to me; and, the heat wearying me as I walked, I sought a place where I could receive shade. This was the forest near Ingolstadt; and here I lay by the side of a brook resting from my fatigue, until I felt tormented by hunger and thirst. This roused me from my nearly dormant state, and I ate some berries which I found hanging on the trees, or lying on the ground. I slaked my thirst at the brook; and then lying down, was overcome by sleep.
“It is really challenging for me to remember the earliest days of my life: everything from that time feels blurred and vague. I experienced a strange mix of sensations all at once; I saw, felt, heard, and smelled everything simultaneously, and it took me a long time to learn how to distinguish between the different senses. Gradually, I recall that a stronger light pressed against my nerves, forcing me to shut my eyes. Darkness then enveloped me and unsettled me; but just as I experienced this, by opening my eyes—at least I think that's how it happened—the light flooded back in. I walked, and I think I went down some steps; but soon I noticed a significant change in how I felt. Before, I was surrounded by dark and solid objects that I couldn't touch or see; but now I found that I could move freely, with no barriers that I couldn't overcome or dodge. The light became increasingly overwhelming for me, and as the heat grew tiring while I walked, I looked for a spot where I could find shade. This led me to the forest near Ingolstadt; I lay down by a stream, resting from my exhaustion, until hunger and thirst began to torment me. This snapped me out of my lethargy, and I ate some berries I found hanging from the trees or lying on the ground. I quenched my thirst at the stream and then lay down again, falling into a deep sleep.”
“It was dark when I awoke; I felt cold also, and half-frightened as it were instinctively, finding myself so desolate. Before I had quitted your apartment, on a sensation of cold, I had covered myself with some clothes; but these were insufficient to secure me from the dews of night. I was a poor, helpless, miserable wretch; I knew, and could distinguish, nothing; but, feeling pain invade me on all sides, I sat down and wept.
“It was dark when I woke up; I felt cold too, and half-frightened, as if instinctively, finding myself so alone. Before I left your room, feeling cold, I had covered myself with some clothes; but these weren’t enough to protect me from the night’s dew. I was a poor, helpless, miserable being; I couldn’t see or understand anything; but, feeling pain surround me, I sat down and cried.”
“Soon a gentle light stole over the heavens, and gave me a sensation of pleasure. I started up, and beheld a radiant form rise from among the trees. I gazed with a kind of wonder. It moved slowly, but it enlightened my path; and I again went out in search of berries. I was still cold, when under one of the trees I found a huge cloak, with which I covered myself, and sat down upon the ground. No distinct ideas occupied my mind; all was confused. I felt light, and hunger, and thirst, and darkness; innumerable sounds rung in my ears, and on all sides various scents saluted me: the only object that I could distinguish was the bright moon, and I fixed my eyes on that with pleasure.
“Soon, a gentle light spread across the sky, giving me a feeling of joy. I jumped up and saw a glowing figure rise from among the trees. I looked on in amazement. It moved slowly, yet lit my path; and I went out again to search for berries. I was still cold when I found a large cloak under one of the trees, which I wrapped around myself and sat down on the ground. My thoughts were unclear; everything felt confusing. I felt light, hunger, thirst, and darkness; countless sounds filled my ears, and various scents greeted me from all around: the only thing I could clearly see was the bright moon, and I gazed at it with delight.
“Several changes of day and night passed, and the orb of night had greatly lessened when I began to distinguish my sensations from each other. I gradually saw plainly the clear stream that supplied me with drink, and the trees that shaded me with their foliage. I was delighted when I first discovered that a pleasant sound, which often saluted my ears, proceeded from the throats of the little winged animals who had often intercepted the light from my eyes. I began also to observe, with greater accuracy, the forms that surrounded me, and to perceive the boundaries of the radiant roof of light which canopied me. Sometimes I tried to imitate the pleasant songs of the birds, but was unable. Sometimes I wished to express my sensations in my own mode, but the uncouth and inarticulate sounds which broke from me frightened me into silence again.
Several days and nights went by, and the moon had shrunk a lot when I started to notice my feelings more clearly. I could clearly see the clear stream that provided me with water and the trees that sheltered me with their leaves. I was thrilled when I first realized that a lovely sound, which often reached my ears, came from the little flying creatures that frequently blocked the light from my eyes. I also began to notice, more clearly, the shapes around me and to see the edges of the bright roof of light that covered me. Sometimes I tried to mimic the pleasant songs of the birds, but I couldn’t. Sometimes I wanted to express my feelings in my own way, but the strange and inarticulate sounds that came out of me scared me back into silence again.
“The moon had disappeared from the night, and again, with a lessened form, shewed itself, while I still remained in the forest. My sensations had, by this time, become distinct, and my mind received every day additional ideas. My eyes became accustomed to the light, and to perceive objects in their right forms; I distinguished the insect from the herb, and, by degrees, one herb from another. I found that the sparrow uttered none but harsh notes, whilst those of the blackbird and thrush were sweet and enticing.
“The moon had vanished from the night, but it reappeared, slightly diminished, while I was still in the forest. By then, my senses had become clear, and my mind was picking up new ideas every day. My eyes adjusted to the light, allowing me to see things as they really were; I could tell the insect from the plant, and gradually, I learned to distinguish one plant from another. I noticed that the sparrow only made harsh sounds, while the blackbird and thrush sang sweet and inviting notes.”
“One day, when I was oppressed by cold, I found a fire which had been left by some wandering beggars, and was overcome with delight at the warmth I experienced from it. In my joy I thrust my hand into the live embers, but quickly drew it out again with a cry of pain. How strange, I thought, that the same cause should produce such opposite effects! I examined the materials of the fire, and to my joy found it to be composed of wood. I quickly collected some branches; but they were wet, and would not burn. I was pained at this, and sat still watching the operation of the fire. The wet wood which I had placed near the heat dried, and itself became inflamed. I reflected on this; and, by touching the various branches, I discovered the cause, and busied myself in collecting a great quantity of wood, that I might dry it, and have a plentiful supply of fire. When night came on, and brought sleep with it, I was in the greatest fear lest my fire should be extinguished. I covered it carefully with dry wood and leaves, and placed wet branches upon it; and then, spreading my cloak, I lay on the ground, and sunk into sleep.
“One day, when I was freezing, I found a fire left by some passing beggars, and I was overwhelmed with joy at the warmth it provided. In my excitement, I reached my hand into the live embers, but quickly pulled it back with a cry of pain. How strange, I thought, that the same thing could have such opposite effects! I looked at what the fire was made of, and to my delight, I found it was wood. I quickly gathered some branches, but they were wet and wouldn’t burn. This disappointed me, so I sat still and watched the fire. The wet wood I placed near the heat dried out and started to burn. I thought about this; by touching the various branches, I figured out the reason and set about collecting a lot of wood to dry so I could have plenty of fire. When night came and sleep started to take over, I was really worried my fire would go out. I carefully covered it with dry wood and leaves and put wet branches on top. Then, I spread out my cloak, lay down on the ground, and fell asleep.
“It was morning when I awoke, and my first care was to visit the fire. I uncovered it, and a gentle breeze quickly fanned it into a flame. I observed this also, and contrived a fan of branches, which roused the embers when they were nearly extinguished. When night came again, I found, with pleasure, that the fire gave light as well as heat; and that the discovery of this element was useful to me in my food; for I found some of the offals that the travellers had left had been roasted, and tasted much more savoury than the berries I gathered from the trees. I tried, therefore, to dress my food in the same manner, placing it on the live embers. I found that the berries were spoiled by this operation, and the nuts and roots much improved.
It was morning when I woke up, and my first priority was to check the fire. I uncovered it, and a light breeze quickly turned it into a flame. I noticed this, and made a fan out of branches, which stirred the embers when they were almost out. When night fell again, I was pleased to see that the fire provided light as well as heat; and that discovering this element was helpful for my food because I found some of the leftovers the travelers had left behind had been roasted, and tasted much better than the berries I picked from the trees. So, I tried to cook my food the same way, placing it on the hot embers. I found that the berries were ruined by this process, while the nuts and roots improved a lot.
“Food, however, became scarce; and I often spent the whole day searching in vain for a few acorns to assuage the pangs of hunger. When I found this, I resolved to quit the place that I had hitherto inhabited, to seek for one where the few wants I experienced would be more easily satisfied. In this emigration, I exceedingly lamented the loss of the fire which I had obtained through accident, and knew not how to re-produce it. I gave several hours to the serious consideration of this difficulty; but I was obliged to relinquish all attempt to supply it; and, wrapping myself up in my cloak, I struck across the wood towards the setting sun. I passed three days in these rambles, and at length discovered the open country. A great fall of snow had taken place the night before, and the fields were of one uniform white; the appearance was disconsolate, and I found my feet chilled by the cold damp substance that covered the ground.
“Food became hard to find, and I often spent the whole day searching in vain for a few acorns to ease my hunger. When I realized this, I decided to leave the place I had been living in and look for somewhere where my basic needs would be met more easily. In leaving, I deeply regretted losing the fire I had started by accident, and I had no idea how to create it again. I spent several hours seriously thinking about this problem, but I had to give up trying to recreate the fire. So, wrapping myself in my cloak, I headed through the woods toward the setting sun. I wandered for three days and finally found open land. A heavy snowfall had occurred the night before, and the fields were an unbroken blanket of white; the sight was bleak, and I felt my feet growing cold from the damp ground beneath me.
“It was about seven in the morning, and I longed to obtain food and shelter; at length I perceived a small hut, on a rising ground, which had doubtless been built for the convenience of some shepherd. This was a new sight to me; and I examined the structure with great curiosity. Finding the door open, I entered. An old man sat in it, near a fire, over which he was preparing his breakfast. He turned on hearing a noise; and, perceiving me, shrieked loudly, and, quitting the hut, ran across the fields with a speed of which his debilitated form hardly appeared capable. His appearance, different from any I had ever before seen, and his flight, somewhat surprised me. But I was enchanted by the appearance of the hut: here the snow and rain could not penetrate; the ground was dry; and it presented to me then as exquisite and divine a retreat as Pandæmonium appeared to the dæmons of hell after their sufferings in the lake of fire. I greedily devoured the remnants of the shepherd’s breakfast, which consisted of bread, cheese, milk, and wine; the latter, however, I did not like. Then overcome by fatigue, I lay down among some straw, and fell asleep.
"It was around seven in the morning, and I really needed food and a place to stay; finally, I noticed a small hut on a hill, likely built for the convenience of some shepherd. This was a new sight for me, and I looked at the structure with great curiosity. Finding the door open, I walked in. An old man was sitting inside, near a fire, making his breakfast. He turned at the sound and, seeing me, screamed loudly and ran across the fields with a speed that his frail body hardly seemed capable of. His appearance, unlike anything I had seen before, and his sudden flight surprised me a bit. But I was captivated by the hut: the snow and rain couldn’t get in; the ground was dry; and it seemed to me then as beautiful and perfect a refuge as Pandæmonium must have seemed to the demons of hell after their suffering in the lake of fire. I eagerly ate the leftovers of the shepherd’s breakfast, which included bread, cheese, milk, and wine; although I didn’t like the wine. Then, exhausted, I lay down on some straw and fell asleep."
“It was noon when I awoke; and, allured by the warmth of the sun, which shone brightly on the white ground, I determined to recommence my travels; and, depositing the remains of the peasant’s breakfast in a wallet I found, I proceeded across the fields for several hours, until at sunset I arrived at a village. How miraculous did this appear! the huts, the neater cottages, and stately houses, engaged my admiration by turns. The vegetables in the gardens, the milk and cheese that I saw placed at the windows of some of the cottages, allured my appetite. One of the best of these I entered; but I had hardly placed my foot within the door, before the children shrieked, and one of the women fainted. The whole village was roused; some fled, some attacked me, until, grievously bruised by stones and many other kinds of missile weapons, I escaped to the open country, and fearfully took refuge in a low hovel, quite bare, and making a wretched appearance after the palaces I had beheld in the village. This hovel, however, joined a cottage of a neat and pleasant appearance; but, after my late dearly-bought experience, I dared not enter it. My place of refuge was constructed of wood, but so low, that I could with difficulty sit upright in it. No wood, however, was placed on the earth, which formed the floor, but it was dry; and although the wind entered it by innumerable chinks, I found it an agreeable asylum from the snow and rain.
It was noon when I woke up, and drawn in by the warmth of the sun shining brightly on the white ground, I decided to continue my travels. After putting the leftover breakfast from the peasant into a bag I found, I made my way across the fields for several hours until I reached a village at sunset. It looked miraculous! The huts, the tidier cottages, and the impressive houses all caught my attention in turn. The vegetables in the gardens and the milk and cheese I saw sitting in the windows of some cottages tempted my appetite. I entered one of the nicer cottages, but as soon as I stepped inside, the children screamed, and one of the women fainted. The whole village was stirred up; some ran away, while others attacked me. After being badly hurt by stones and various other thrown objects, I managed to escape to the open countryside and sought refuge in a low, shabby hovel that looked pitiful compared to the beautiful homes I had seen in the village. This hovel was next to a cottage that looked neat and welcoming, but after my recent, hard-earned experience, I didn’t dare enter it. My shelter was built of wood but so low that I could barely sit up straight inside. There was no wood on the ground, which was just dirt, but it was dry, and even though the wind blew in through countless cracks, I found it a decent place to shield myself from the snow and rain.
“Here then I retreated, and lay down, happy to have found a shelter, however miserable, from the inclemency of the season, and still more from the barbarity of man.
“Here, I took refuge and lay down, grateful to have found a shelter, no matter how shabby, from the harshness of the weather, and even more from the cruelty of people.”
“As soon as morning dawned, I crept from my kennel, that I might view the adjacent cottage, and discover if I could remain in the habitation I had found. It was situated against the back of the cottage, and surrounded on the sides which were exposed by a pig-stye and a clear pool of water. One part was open, and by that I had crept in; but now I covered every crevice by which I might be perceived with stones and wood, yet in such a manner that I might move them on occasion to pass out: all the light I enjoyed came through the stye, and that was sufficient for me.
“As soon as morning arrived, I quietly left my little shelter to check out the nearby cottage and see if I could stay in the place I had discovered. It was positioned at the back of the cottage and surrounded on the exposed sides by a pigsty and a clear pool of water. One part was open, and that's how I got in; but now I covered every crack that might let someone see me with stones and wood, arranging them so I could move things when I needed to go out. The only light I had came through the sty, and that was enough for me.”
“Having thus arranged my dwelling, and carpeted it with clean straw, I retired; for I saw the figure of a man at a distance, and I remembered too well my treatment the night before, to trust myself in his power. I had first, however, provided for my sustenance for that day, by a loaf of coarse bread, which I purloined, and a cup with which I could drink, more conveniently than from my hand, of the pure water which flowed by my retreat. The floor was a little raised, so that it was kept perfectly dry, and by its vicinity to the chimney of the cottage it was tolerably warm.
“After setting up my home and covering it with clean straw, I went inside; I noticed a man in the distance, and given how I was treated the night before, I didn’t want to put myself in his power again. First, though, I made sure I had something to eat for the day, grabbing a loaf of coarse bread and a cup for drinking, which was easier than using my hands to drink the pure water flowing nearby. The floor was slightly elevated, keeping it perfectly dry, and since it was close to the cottage's chimney, it stayed reasonably warm.”
“Being thus provided, I resolved to reside in this hovel, until something should occur which might alter my determination. It was indeed a paradise, compared to the bleak forest, my former residence, the rain-dropping branches, and dank earth. I ate my breakfast with pleasure, and was about to remove a plank to procure myself a little water, when I heard a step, and, looking through a small chink, I beheld a young creature, with a pail on her head, passing before my hovel. The girl was young and of gentle demeanour, unlike what I have since found cottagers and farm-house servants to be. Yet she was meanly dressed, a coarse blue petticoat and a linen jacket being her only garb; her fair hair was plaited, but not adorned; she looked patient, yet sad. I lost sight of her; and in about a quarter of an hour she returned, bearing the pail, which was now partly filled with milk. As she walked along, seemingly incommoded by the burden, a young man met her, whose countenance expressed a deeper despondence. Uttering a few sounds with an air of melancholy, he took the pail from her head, and bore it to the cottage himself. She followed, and they disappeared. Presently I saw the young man again, with some tools in his hand, cross the field behind the cottage; and the girl was also busied, sometimes in the house, and sometimes in the yard.
“Having what I needed, I decided to stay in this hovel until something happened that would change my mind. It was actually a paradise compared to the bleak forest where I lived before, with its rain-soaked branches and damp ground. I enjoyed my breakfast and was about to move a plank to get a bit of water when I heard a step. Looking through a small crack, I saw a young girl with a pail on her head walking past my hovel. She was young and had a gentle demeanor, which was different from what I had come to expect from cottagers and farm workers. But she was poorly dressed, wearing just a coarse blue petticoat and a linen jacket. Her fair hair was braided but not decorated; she looked patient yet sad. I lost sight of her, and after about a quarter of an hour, she returned, now with the pail halfway filled with milk. As she walked, seeming to struggle with the weight, a young man approached her, his face showing a deeper sadness. With a few melancholic sounds, he took the pail from her head and carried it to the cottage himself. She followed him, and they disappeared. Shortly after, I saw the young man again, holding some tools, crossing the field behind the cottage, while the girl busied herself, sometimes in the house and sometimes in the yard."
“On examining my dwelling, I found that one of the windows of the cottage had formerly occupied a part of it, but the panes had been filled up with wood. In one of these was a small and almost imperceptible chink, through which the eye could just penetrate. Through this crevice, a small room was visible, white-washed and clean, but very bare of furniture. In one corner, near a small fire, sat an old man, leaning his head on his hands in a disconsolate attitude. The young girl was occupied in arranging the cottage; but presently she took something out of a drawer, which employed her hands, and she sat down beside the old man, who, taking up an instrument, began to play, and to produce sounds, sweeter than the voice of the thrush or the nightingale. It was a lovely sight, even to me, poor wretch! who had never beheld aught beautiful before. The silver hair and benevolent countenance of the aged cottager, won my reverence; while the gentle manners of the girl enticed my love. He played a sweet mournful air, which I perceived drew tears from the eyes of his amiable companion, of which the old man took no notice, until she sobbed audibly; he then pronounced a few sounds, and the fair creature, leaving her work, knelt at his feet. He raised her, and smiled with such kindness and affection, that I felt sensations of a peculiar and over-powering nature: they were a mixture of pain and pleasure, such as I had never before experienced, either from hunger or cold, warmth or food; and I withdrew from the window, unable to bear these emotions.
“Looking at my home, I noticed that one of the cottage's windows used to be part of it, but the glass had been filled in with wood. In one of these spots was a small, almost invisible crack, through which I could barely see inside. Through this gap, I saw a small room that was whitewashed and tidy, but very empty of furniture. In one corner, near a small fire, sat an old man, resting his head on his hands in a sad position. A young girl was busy tidying the cottage, but after a while, she pulled something out of a drawer that kept her hands occupied and sat down next to the old man. He picked up an instrument and started to play, producing sounds sweeter than the song of a thrush or nightingale. It was a beautiful sight, even for me, poor wretch that I was, who had never seen anything lovely before. The old man's silver hair and kind face earned my respect, while the gentle demeanor of the girl drew my affection. He played a sweet, mournful tune that made tears come to the eyes of his lovely companion, which the old man didn’t notice until she sobbed loudly. He then said a few words, and the beautiful girl, leaving her work, knelt at his feet. He lifted her up and smiled with such warmth and love that I felt strange, overwhelming emotions: a mix of pain and pleasure, unlike anything I had ever felt from hunger or cold, warmth or food; and I stepped away from the window, unable to handle these feelings.
“Soon after this the young man returned, bearing on his shoulders a load of wood. The girl met him at the door, helped to relieve him of his burden, and, taking some of the fuel into the cottage, placed it on the fire; then she and the youth went apart into a nook of the cottage, and he shewed her a large loaf and a piece of cheese. She seemed pleased; and went into the garden for some roots and plants, which she placed in water, and then upon the fire. She afterwards continued her work, whilst the young man went into the garden, and appeared busily employed in digging and pulling up roots. After he had been employed thus about an hour, the young woman joined him, and they entered the cottage together.
“Soon after this, the young man came back, carrying a load of wood on his shoulders. The girl met him at the door, helped him with his burden, and took some of the fuel into the cottage to put on the fire. Then she and the young man went to a corner of the cottage, where he showed her a large loaf and a piece of cheese. She looked pleased and went into the garden to gather some roots and plants, which she put in water and then on the fire. After that, she continued her work while the young man went into the garden, appearing busy digging and pulling up roots. About an hour later, the young woman joined him, and they went back into the cottage together.”
“The old man had, in the mean time, been pensive; but, on the appearance of his companions, he assumed a more cheerful air, and they sat down to eat. The meal was quickly dispatched. The young woman was again occupied in arranging the cottage; the old man walked before the cottage in the sun for a few minutes, leaning on the arm of the youth. Nothing could exceed in beauty the contrast between these two excellent creatures. One was old, with silver hairs and a countenance beaming with benevolence and love: the younger was slight and graceful in his figure, and his features were moulded with the finest symmetry; yet his eyes and attitude expressed the utmost sadness and despondency. The old man returned to the cottage; and the youth, with tools different from those he had used in the morning, directed his steps across the fields.
The old man had been deep in thought, but when his friends showed up, he brightened up, and they sat down to eat. The meal was finished quickly. The young woman was busy organizing the cottage again, while the old man walked in front of the cottage in the sun for a few minutes, leaning on the young man's arm. The beauty of their contrast was striking. One was old, with silver hair and a face radiating kindness and love; the younger one was slender and graceful, with perfectly shaped features, but his eyes and posture showed deep sadness and despair. The old man went back to the cottage, and the young man, with different tools than he had used in the morning, headed out across the fields.
“Night quickly shut in; but, to my extreme wonder, I found that the cottagers had a means of prolonging light, by the use of tapers, and was delighted to find, that the setting of the sun did not put an end to the pleasure I experienced in watching my human neighbours. In the evening, the young girl and her companion were employed in various occupations which I did not understand; and the old man again took up the instrument, which produced the divine sounds that had enchanted me in the morning. So soon as he had finished, the youth began, not to play, but to utter sounds that were monotonous, and neither resembling the harmony of the old man’s instrument or the songs of the birds; I since found that he read aloud, but at that time I knew nothing of the science of words or letters.
“Night quickly fell; but, to my amazement, I discovered that the cottagers had a way to extend their light using candles, and I was thrilled to realize that the sunset didn’t end the enjoyment I felt while observing my human neighbors. In the evening, the young girl and her companion were busy with different tasks that I didn’t understand; and the old man picked up the instrument again, producing the beautiful sounds that had captivated me in the morning. As soon as he finished, the young man began, not to play, but to make sounds that were unchanging and unlike the old man’s instrument or the birds' songs; I later learned he was reading aloud, but at that moment, I knew nothing about the science of words or letters.”
“The family, after having been thus occupied for a short time, extinguished their lights, and retired, as I conjectured, to rest.”
"The family, after being busy for a little while, turned off their lights and went to bed, as I assumed."
CHAPTER IV.
“I lay on my straw, but I could not sleep. I thought of the occurrences of the day. What chiefly struck me was the gentle manners of these people; and I longed to join them, but dared not. I remembered too well the treatment I had suffered the night before from the barbarous villagers, and resolved, whatever course of conduct I might hereafter think it right to pursue, that for the present I would remain quietly in my hovel, watching, and endeavouring to discover the motives which influenced their actions.
“I lay on my straw, but I couldn't sleep. I thought about what had happened during the day. What stood out to me the most was the kind nature of these people, and I really wanted to join them, but I was too scared. I remembered all too well how I was treated the night before by the cruel villagers and decided that, no matter what I thought I should do later, for now I would stay quietly in my little shelter, observing and trying to figure out what motivated their actions.
“The cottagers arose the next morning before the sun. The young woman arranged the cottage, and prepared the food; and the youth departed after the first meal.
“The cottagers got up the next morning before the sun. The young woman tidied up the cottage and made breakfast, and the young man left after the first meal.
“This day was passed in the same routine as that which preceded it. The young man was constantly employed out of doors, and the girl in various laborious occupations within. The old man, whom I soon perceived to be blind, employed his leisure hours on his instrument, or in contemplation. Nothing could exceed the love and respect which the younger cottagers exhibited towards their venerable companion. They performed towards him every little office of affection and duty with gentleness; and he rewarded them by his benevolent smiles.
“This day went by just like the one before. The young man was always busy outside, while the girl was engaged in various hard tasks inside. The old man, who I soon realized was blind, spent his free time playing his instrument or in deep thought. The love and respect that the younger villagers showed for their elderly companion was unmatched. They treated him with kindness and attentiveness, and he responded with his warm smiles.”
“They were not entirely happy. The young man and his companion often went apart, and appeared to weep. I saw no cause for their unhappiness; but I was deeply affected by it. If such lovely creatures were miserable, it was less strange that I, an imperfect and solitary being, should be wretched. Yet why were these gentle beings unhappy? They possessed a delightful house (for such it was in my eyes), and every luxury; they had a fire to warm them when chill, and delicious viands when hungry; they were dressed in excellent clothes; and, still more, they enjoyed one another’s company and speech, interchanging each day looks of affection and kindness. What did their tears imply? Did they really express pain? I was at first unable to solve these questions; but perpetual attention, and time, explained to me many appearances which were at first enigmatic.
They weren't completely happy. The young man and his companion often separated and seemed to be crying. I couldn't see why they were unhappy, but it really affected me. If such beautiful people were miserable, it made sense that I, an imperfect and lonely person, would feel wretched too. But why were these gentle souls unhappy? They had a lovely house (at least that's how I saw it) and every luxury; they had a fire to keep them warm when it was cold and delicious food when they were hungry; they wore nice clothes; and even more, they enjoyed each other’s company, sharing looks of affection and kindness every day. What did their tears mean? Did they truly show pain? At first, I couldn't figure out these questions, but over time and with constant attention, many things that initially seemed puzzling started to make sense.
“A considerable period elapsed before I discovered one of the causes of the uneasiness of this amiable family; it was poverty: and they suffered that evil in a very distressing degree. Their nourishment consisted entirely of the vegetables of their garden, and the milk of one cow, who gave very little during the winter, when its masters could scarcely procure food to support it. They often, I believe, suffered the pangs of hunger very poignantly, especially the two younger cottagers; for several times they placed food before the old man, when they reserved none for themselves.
A long time passed before I figured out one of the reasons for the unease in this kind family: they were poor, and their situation was very distressing. Their diet relied solely on the vegetables from their garden and the milk from a single cow, which produced very little during the winter when they could barely find enough food to keep it alive. I think they often felt the pangs of hunger acutely, especially the two younger members of the household; several times, they set food in front of the old man while going without for themselves.
“This trait of kindness moved me sensibly. I had been accustomed, during the night, to steal a part of their store for my own consumption; but when I found that in doing this I inflicted pain on the cottagers, I abstained, and satisfied myself with berries, nuts, and roots, which I gathered from a neighbouring wood.
“This quality of kindness really touched me. I had gotten used to sneaking some of their supplies at night for my own use; but when I realized that this caused them pain, I stopped and contented myself with berries, nuts, and roots that I gathered from a nearby woods.”
“I discovered also another means through which I was enabled to assist their labours. I found that the youth spent a great part of each day in collecting wood for the family fire; and, during the night, I often took his tools, the use of which I quickly discovered, and brought home firing sufficient for the consumption of several days.
“I also found another way to help them with their work. I noticed that the young man spent a lot of time each day gathering wood for the family’s fire; and at night, I would often take his tools, which I quickly learned to use, and bring back enough firewood to last for several days.”
“I remember, the first time that I did this, the young woman, when she opened the door in the morning, appeared greatly astonished on seeing a great pile of wood on the outside. She uttered some words in a loud voice, and the youth joined her, who also expressed surprise. I observed, with pleasure, that he did not go to the forest that day, but spent it in repairing the cottage, and cultivating the garden.
“I remember the first time I did this. The young woman, when she opened the door in the morning, looked really surprised to see a huge pile of wood outside. She shouted a few words, and the young man joined her, also expressing his shock. I was pleased to see that he didn’t go to the forest that day; instead, he spent it fixing up the cottage and tending to the garden.”
“By degrees I made a discovery of still greater moment. I found that these people possessed a method of communicating their experience and feelings to one another by articulate sounds. I perceived that the words they spoke sometimes produced pleasure or pain, smiles or sadness, in the minds and countenances of the hearers. This was indeed a godlike science, and I ardently desired to become acquainted with it. But I was baffled in every attempt I made for this purpose. Their pronunciation was quick; and the words they uttered, not having any apparent connexion with visible objects, I was unable to discover any clue by which I could unravel the mystery of their reference. By great application, however, and after having remained during the space of several revolutions of the moon in my hovel, I discovered the names that were given to some of the most familiar objects of discourse: I learned and applied the words fire, milk, bread, and wood. I learned also the names of the cottagers themselves. The youth and his companion had each of them several names, but the old man had only one, which was father. The girl was called sister, or Agatha; and the youth Felix, brother, or son. I cannot describe the delight I felt when I learned the ideas appropriated to each of these sounds, and was able to pronounce them. I distinguished several other words, without being able as yet to understand or apply them; such as good, dearest, unhappy.
“Gradually, I made an even more important discovery. I found that these people had a way of sharing their experiences and feelings with each other using spoken words. I noticed that the things they said sometimes caused happiness or sadness, smiles or frowns, in the minds and faces of those listening. This was truly a remarkable skill, and I deeply wanted to learn it. However, every attempt I made to understand it failed. Their speech was fast, and the words they used didn't seem to have any obvious connection to the things around them, leaving me puzzled about their meaning. After a lot of effort and spending several moons in my shelter, I figured out the names of some of the most common things they talked about: I learned and used the words fire, milk, bread, and wood. I also learned the names of the people living there. The young man and his friend each had several names, but the old man had only one, which was father. The girl was called sister or Agatha; and the young man was known as Felix, brother, or son. I can’t describe the joy I felt when I learned what each of these sounds meant and was able to say them. I distinguished several other words, though I couldn't yet understand or use them, like good, dearest, and unhappy.
“I spent the winter in this manner. The gentle manners and beauty of the cottagers greatly endeared them to me: when they were unhappy, I felt depressed; when they rejoiced, I sympathized in their joys. I saw few human beings beside them; and if any other happened to enter the cottage, their harsh manners and rude gait only enhanced to me the superior accomplishments of my friends. The old man, I could perceive, often endeavoured to encourage his children, as sometimes I found that he called them, to cast off their melancholy. He would talk in a cheerful accent, with an expression of goodness that bestowed pleasure even upon me. Agatha listened with respect, her eyes sometimes filled with tears, which she endeavoured to wipe away unperceived; but I generally found that her countenance and tone were more cheerful after having listened to the exhortations of her father. It was not thus with Felix. He was always the saddest of the groupe; and, even to my unpractised senses, he appeared to have suffered more deeply than his friends. But if his countenance was more sorrowful, his voice was more cheerful than that of his sister, especially when he addressed the old man.
“I spent the winter like this. The kind nature and beauty of the cottagers made me really fond of them: when they were sad, I felt down; when they were happy, I shared in their joy. I saw few other people besides them; and whenever someone else came into the cottage, their harsh behavior and rough manner only made me appreciate my friends' qualities even more. I noticed that the old man often tried to lift his children’s spirits, as I sometimes heard him call them. He would talk in a cheerful tone, with a kindness that even made me feel good. Agatha listened respectfully, her eyes sometimes filled with tears that she tried to wipe away unnoticed; but I usually found her face and voice to be cheerier after she listened to her father's words. Felix, however, was always the saddest of the group; even to my inexperience, it seemed he had suffered more than his friends. But although his expression was more sorrowful, his voice was lighter than his sister's, especially when he spoke to the old man.”
“I could mention innumerable instances, which, although slight, marked the dispositions of these amiable cottagers. In the midst of poverty and want, Felix carried with pleasure to his sister the first little white flower that peeped out from beneath the snowy ground. Early in the morning before she had risen, he cleared away the snow that obstructed her path to the milk-house, drew water from the well, and brought the wood from the out-house, where, to his perpetual astonishment, he found his store always replenished by an invisible hand. In the day, I believe, he worked sometimes for a neighbouring farmer, because he often went forth, and did not return until dinner, yet brought no wood with him. At other times he worked in the garden; but, as there was little to do in the frosty season, he read to the old man and Agatha.
“I could mention countless examples, which, though small, highlighted the kind nature of these friendly cottagers. In the midst of poverty and need, Felix happily brought his sister the first little white flower that peeked out from under the snowy ground. Early in the morning, before she had woken up, he cleared the snow blocking her path to the milk-house, fetched water from the well, and brought wood from the out-house, where, to his continual surprise, he found his supply always restocked by an unseen hand. During the day, I think he sometimes worked for a nearby farmer, as he often left in the morning and didn’t come back until lunch, yet didn’t bring any wood with him. Other times, he worked in the garden, but since there was not much to do in the cold season, he read to the old man and Agatha.”
“This reading had puzzled me extremely at first; but, by degrees, I discovered that he uttered many of the same sounds when he read as when he talked. I conjectured, therefore, that he found on the paper signs for speech which he understood, and I ardently longed to comprehend these also; but how was that possible, when I did not even understand the sounds for which they stood as signs? I improved, however, sensibly in this science, but not sufficiently to follow up any kind of conversation, although I applied my whole mind to the endeavour: for I easily perceived that, although I eagerly longed to discover myself to the cottagers, I ought not to make the attempt until I had first become master of their language; which knowledge might enable me to make them overlook the deformity of my figure; for with this also the contrast perpetually presented to my eyes had made me acquainted.
"This reading really puzzled me at first; but gradually, I realized that he used many of the same sounds when he read as when he talked. I guessed that he found signs on the paper for words he understood, and I desperately wanted to grasp these too. But how could I do that when I didn’t even understand the sounds they represented? I did improve noticeably in this area, but not enough to engage in any kind of conversation, even though I focused all my efforts on it. I quickly realized that, even though I was eager to reveal myself to the cottagers, I shouldn't attempt it until I had mastered their language. That knowledge might help them overlook how deformed I looked, which was something I was constantly reminded of by the contrast I saw in my own appearance."
“I had admired the perfect forms of my cottagers—their grace, beauty, and delicate complexions: but how was I terrified, when I viewed myself in a transparent pool! At first I started back, unable to believe that it was indeed I who was reflected in the mirror; and when I became fully convinced that I was in reality the monster that I am, I was filled with the bitterest sensations of despondence and mortification. Alas! I did not yet entirely know the fatal effects of this miserable deformity.
“I had admired the perfect shapes of my neighbors—their grace, beauty, and delicate skin: but how terrified I was when I saw myself in a clear pool! At first, I jumped back, unable to believe it was really me in the reflection; and when I fully realized that I was indeed the monster that I am, I was overwhelmed with the deepest feelings of despair and humiliation. Unfortunately, I still didn’t fully understand the terrible consequences of this wretched deformity."
“As the sun became warmer, and the light of day longer, the snow vanished, and I beheld the bare trees and the black earth. From this time Felix was more employed; and the heart-moving indications of impending famine disappeared. Their food, as I afterwards found, was coarse, but it was wholesome; and they procured a sufficiency of it. Several new kinds of plants sprung up in the garden, which they dressed; and these signs of comfort increased daily as the season advanced.
“As the sun heated up and the days got longer, the snow melted away, and I saw the bare trees and the dark earth. From then on, Felix was busier, and the heart-wrenching signs of an approaching famine disappeared. Their food, as I later learned, was simple but nutritious, and they had enough of it. Several new types of plants appeared in the garden, which they tended to; and these signs of comfort grew more noticeable as the season progressed.”
“The old man, leaning on his son, walked each day at noon, when it did not rain, as I found it was called when the heavens poured forth its waters. This frequently took place; but a high wind quickly dried the earth, and the season became far more pleasant than it had been.
“The old man, leaning on his son, walked every day at noon, when it wasn’t raining, as I learned it was called when the sky poured down its rain. This happened often; but a strong wind quickly dried the ground, and the season became much nicer than it had been.”
“My mode of life in my hovel was uniform. During the morning I attended the motions of the cottagers; and when they were dispersed in various occupations, I slept: the remainder of the day was spent in observing my friends. When they had retired to rest, if there was any moon, or the night was star-light, I went into the woods, and collected my own food and fuel for the cottage. When I returned, as often as it was necessary, I cleared their path from the snow, and performed those offices that I had seen done by Felix. I afterwards found that these labours, performed by an invisible hand, greatly astonished them; and once or twice I heard them, on these occasions, utter the words good spirit, wonderful; but I did not then understand the signification of these terms.
“My way of life in my little hut was pretty much the same every day. In the morning, I watched the cottagers as they went about their tasks, and when they were busy with different activities, I took a nap. The rest of the day I spent observing my friends. When they went to bed, if there was a moon or if the night was clear, I headed into the woods to gather my own food and firewood for the cottage. When I came back, whenever it was needed, I cleared their path of snow and did the tasks I had seen Felix do. I later realized that these efforts, carried out by an unseen hand, surprised them greatly; and once or twice, I overheard them say the words good spirit, wonderful; but I didn’t understand what those words meant at the time."
“My thoughts now became more active, and I longed to discover the motives and feelings of these lovely creatures; I was inquisitive to know why Felix appeared so miserable, and Agatha so sad. I thought (foolish wretch!) that it might be in my power to restore happiness to these deserving people. When I slept, or was absent, the forms of the venerable blind father, the gentle Agatha, and the excellent Felix, flitted before me. I looked upon them as superior beings, who would be the arbiters of my future destiny. I formed in my imagination a thousand pictures of presenting myself to them, and their reception of me. I imagined that they would be disgusted, until, by my gentle demeanour and conciliating words, I should first win their favour, and afterwards their love.
My thoughts became more active, and I really wanted to understand the motives and feelings of these beautiful people; I was curious why Felix seemed so miserable and Agatha so sad. I foolishly thought that I could bring happiness back to these deserving individuals. When I slept or wasn't around, the images of the elderly blind father, the gentle Agatha, and the excellent Felix filled my mind. I saw them as superior beings who would decide my future. I imagined a thousand scenarios of introducing myself to them and how they would react. I thought they would be put off at first, but that I could eventually win their favor and then their love with my kind demeanor and soothing words.
“These thoughts exhilarated me, and led me to apply with fresh ardour to the acquiring the art of language. My organs were indeed harsh, but supple; and although my voice was very unlike the soft music of their tones, yet I pronounced such words as I understood with tolerable ease. It was as the ass and the lap-dog; yet surely the gentle ass, whose intentions were affectionate, although his manners were rude, deserved better treatment than blows and execration.
“These thoughts excited me and motivated me to enthusiastically focus on learning the art of language. My vocal cords were indeed rough, but flexible; and although my voice was nothing like the smoothness of their tones, I managed to pronounce the words I understood with reasonable ease. It was like comparing a donkey to a lapdog; yet surely the gentle donkey, whose intentions were kind even if his behavior was rough, deserved better treatment than punishment and scorn."
“The pleasant showers and genial warmth of spring greatly altered the aspect of the earth. Men, who before this change seemed to have been hid in caves, dispersed themselves, and were employed in various arts of cultivation. The birds sang in more cheerful notes, and the leaves began to bud forth on the trees. Happy, happy earth! fit habitation for gods, which, so short a time before, was bleak, damp, and unwholesome. My spirits were elevated by the enchanting appearance of nature; the past was blotted from my memory, the present was tranquil, and the future gilded by bright rays of hope, and anticipations of joy.”
The pleasant spring showers and warm weather transformed the landscape dramatically. People, who had seemed hidden away in caves, came out and were busy working on various forms of farming. The birds sang with brighter melodies, and the leaves began to bud on the trees. Happy, happy earth! A perfect home for gods, which just a short time ago was cold, damp, and unhealthy. I felt uplifted by the beautiful sights of nature; the past was erased from my memory, the present was peaceful, and the future was lit up with bright rays of hope and joyful expectations.
CHAPTER V.
“I now hasten to the more moving part of my story. I shall relate events that impressed me with feelings which, from what I was, have made me what I am.
"I’m now eager to get to the more emotional part of my story. I’ll share events that left a deep impact on me, shaping me into who I am today."
“Spring advanced rapidly; the weather became fine, and the skies cloudless. It surprised me, that what before was desert and gloomy should now bloom with the most beautiful flowers and verdure. My senses were gratified and refreshed by a thousand scents of delight, and a thousand sights of beauty.
“Spring moved quickly; the weather got nice, and the skies were clear. I was surprised that what had once been barren and dreary was now filled with the most beautiful flowers and greenery. My senses were pleased and rejuvenated by a thousand delightful scents and a thousand beautiful sights.”
“It was on one of these days, when my cottagers periodically rested from labour—the old man played on his guitar, and the children listened to him—I observed that the countenance of Felix was melancholy beyond expression: he sighed frequently; and once his father paused in his music, and I conjectured by his manner that he inquired the cause of his son’s sorrow. Felix replied in a cheerful accent, and the old man was recommencing his music, when some one tapped at the door.
“It was on one of these days, when my cottage neighbors took breaks from work—the old man played his guitar, and the kids listened to him—that I noticed Felix looking incredibly sad. He sighed often; and at one point, his father stopped playing and seemed to ask about his son’s sadness. Felix answered in a bright tone, and the old man was about to start playing again when someone knocked at the door.”
“It was a lady on horseback, accompanied by a countryman as a guide. The lady was dressed in a dark suit, and covered with a thick black veil. Agatha asked a question; to which the stranger only replied by pronouncing, in a sweet accent, the name of Felix. Her voice was musical, but unlike that of either of my friends. On hearing this word, Felix came up hastily to the lady; who, when she saw him, threw up her veil, and I beheld a countenance of angelic beauty and expression. Her hair of a shining raven black, and curiously braided; her eyes were dark, but gentle, although animated; her features of a regular proportion, and her complexion wondrously fair, each cheek tinged with a lovely pink.
It was a woman on horseback, accompanied by a local man as a guide. The woman was dressed in a dark suit and had a thick black veil covering her face. Agatha asked a question, to which the stranger only replied, in a sweet tone, the name Felix. Her voice was melodic, but different from either of my friends. Upon hearing this name, Felix hurried over to the lady, who, when she saw him, lifted her veil, revealing a face of angelic beauty and expression. Her hair was shiny raven black and intricately braided; her eyes were dark yet gentle, filled with life; her features were well-proportioned, and her complexion extraordinarily fair, with each cheek touched by a lovely pink.
“Felix seemed ravished with delight when he saw her, every trait of sorrow vanished from his face, and it instantly expressed a degree of ecstatic joy, of which I could hardly have believed it capable; his eyes sparkled, as his cheek flushed with pleasure; and at that moment I thought him as beautiful as the stranger. She appeared affected by different feelings; wiping a few tears from her lovely eyes, she held out her hand to Felix, who kissed it rapturously, and called her, as well as I could distinguish, his sweet Arabian. She did not appear to understand him, but smiled. He assisted her to dismount, and, dismissing her guide, conducted her into the cottage. Some conversation took place between him and his father; and the young stranger knelt at the old man’s feet, and would have kissed his hand, but he raised her, and embraced her affectionately.
Felix looked completely overwhelmed with joy when he saw her; all traces of sadness disappeared from his face, replaced by a level of ecstatic happiness that I could hardly believe he was capable of. His eyes sparkled, and his cheeks flushed with delight. At that moment, I thought he was as beautiful as the stranger. She seemed to have different emotions; wiping away a few tears from her lovely eyes, she reached out her hand to Felix, who kissed it passionately and called her, as best as I could tell, his sweet Arabian. She didn’t seem to understand him, but she smiled. He helped her off her horse, sent her guide away, and led her into the cottage. They exchanged some words, and the young stranger knelt at the old man’s feet, trying to kiss his hand, but he lifted her up and hugged her warmly.
“I soon perceived, that although the stranger uttered articulate sounds, and appeared to have a language of her own, she was neither understood by, or herself understood, the cottagers. They made many signs which I did not comprehend; but I saw that her presence diffused gladness through the cottage, dispelling their sorrow as the sun dissipates the morning mists. Felix seemed peculiarly happy, and with smiles of delight welcomed his Arabian. Agatha, the ever-gentle Agatha, kissed the hands of the lovely stranger; and, pointing to her brother, made signs which appeared to me to mean that he had been sorrowful until she came. Some hours passed thus, while they, by their countenances, expressed joy, the cause of which I did not comprehend. Presently I found, by the frequent recurrence of one sound which the stranger repeated after them, that she was endeavouring to learn their language; and the idea instantly occurred to me, that I should make use of the same instructions to the same end. The stranger learned about twenty words at the first lesson, most of them indeed were those which I had before understood, but I profited by the others.
“I soon realized that even though the stranger spoke clearly and seemed to have her own language, the cottagers neither understood her nor was she understood by them. They made a lot of gestures that I didn’t grasp, but I could see that her presence brought joy to the cottage, lifting their spirits like the sun clears away the morning mist. Felix looked particularly happy and greeted his Arabian with delighted smiles. Agatha, always gentle, kissed the hands of the beautiful stranger and, pointing to her brother, made gestures that seemed to suggest he had been sad until she arrived. Several hours passed in this way, during which their faces showed happiness, the reason for which I didn’t understand. Soon, I noticed that the stranger often repeated one sound that they used, indicating she was trying to learn their language. The thought suddenly struck me that I could use the same method to achieve the same goal. The stranger picked up about twenty words in the first lesson; most of them were ones I had already understood, but I benefited from the others.”
“As night came on, Agatha and the Arabian retired early. When they separated, Felix kissed the hand of the stranger, and said, ‘Good night, sweet Safie.’ He sat up much longer, conversing with his father; and, by the frequent repetition of her name, I conjectured that their lovely guest was the subject of their conversation. I ardently desired to understand them, and bent every faculty towards that purpose, but found it utterly impossible.
“As night fell, Agatha and the Arabian went to bed early. When they parted ways, Felix kissed the stranger's hand and said, ‘Good night, sweet Safie.’ He stayed up much later, talking with his father; and from the frequent mention of her name, I guessed that their beautiful guest was the topic of their discussion. I desperately wanted to understand them and focused all my attention on that aim, but found it completely impossible."
“The next morning Felix went out to his work; and, after the usual occupations of Agatha were finished, the Arabian sat at the feet of the old man, and, taking his guitar, played some airs so entrancingly beautiful, that they at once drew tears of sorrow and delight from my eyes. She sang, and her voice flowed in a rich cadence, swelling or dying away, like a nightingale of the woods.
"The next morning, Felix went to work, and after Agatha finished her usual tasks, the Arabian sat at the old man's feet and took up his guitar, playing some incredibly beautiful tunes that instantly brought tears of both sadness and joy to my eyes. She sang, and her voice flowed in a rich rhythm, rising and fading like a nightingale in the woods."
“When she had finished, she gave the guitar to Agatha, who at first declined it. She played a simple air, and her voice accompanied it in sweet accents, but unlike the wondrous strain of the stranger. The old man appeared enraptured, and said some words, which Agatha endeavoured to explain to Safie, and by which he appeared to wish to express that she bestowed on him the greatest delight by her music.
“When she was done, she handed the guitar to Agatha, who initially refused it. She played a simple tune, and her voice blended with it in sweet tones, but it wasn’t as amazing as the stranger's song. The old man seemed captivated and said a few words, which Agatha tried to explain to Safie, indicating that her music brought him immense joy.”
“The days now passed as peaceably as before, with the sole alteration, that joy had taken place of sadness in the countenances of my friends. Safie was always gay and happy; she and I improved rapidly in the knowledge of language, so that in two months I began to comprehend most of the words uttered by my protectors.
“The days now passed as peacefully as before, with the only change being that joy had replaced sadness on the faces of my friends. Safie was always cheerful and happy; she and I quickly improved our language skills, so that in two months I began to understand most of the words spoken by my protectors.”
“In the meanwhile also the black ground was covered with herbage, and the green banks interspersed with innumerable flowers, sweet to the scent and the eyes, stars of pale radiance among the moonlight woods; the sun became warmer, the nights clear and balmy; and my nocturnal rambles were an extreme pleasure to me, although they were considerably shortened by the late setting and early rising of the sun; for I never ventured abroad during daylight, fearful of meeting with the same treatment as I had formerly endured in the first village which I entered.
“In the meantime, the dark ground was covered with grass, and the green banks were filled with countless flowers, sweet to smell and pleasing to the eyes, like pale stars shining in the moonlit woods. The sun grew warmer, the nights were clear and pleasant; my nighttime walks brought me great joy, even though they were cut short by the sun setting late and rising early. I never went out during the day, afraid of experiencing the same treatment I had faced in the first village I entered.”
“My days were spent in close attention, that I might more speedily master the language; and I may boast that I improved more rapidly than the Arabian, who understood very little, and conversed in broken accents, whilst I comprehended and could imitate almost every word that was spoken.
“My days were spent focused on mastering the language quickly; I can proudly say that I improved faster than the Arabian, who understood very little and spoke with a heavy accent, while I understood and could imitate almost every word spoken.”
“While I improved in speech, I also learned the science of letters, as it was taught to the stranger; and this opened before me a wide field for wonder and delight.
“While I got better at speaking, I also learned about writing, just like it was shown to the newcomer; and this revealed to me a vast area of curiosity and joy.”
“The book from which Felix instructed Safie was Volney’s Ruins of Empires. I should not have understood the purport of this book, had not Felix, in reading it, given very minute explanations. He had chosen this work, he said, because the declamatory style was framed in imitation of the eastern authors. Through this work I obtained a cursory knowledge of history, and a view of the several empires at present existing in the world; it gave me an insight into the manners, governments, and religions of the different nations of the earth. I heard of the slothful Asiatics; of the stupendous genius and mental activity of the Grecians; of the wars and wonderful virtue of the early Romans—of their subsequent degeneration—of the decline of that mighty empire; of chivalry, Christianity, and kings. I heard of the discovery of the American hemisphere, and wept with Safie over the hapless fate of its original inhabitants.
“The book that Felix read to Safie was Volney’s Ruins of Empires. I wouldn’t have understood the meaning of this book if Felix hadn’t provided very detailed explanations while reading it. He chose this work, he said, because the dramatic style mimicked that of Eastern authors. Through this book, I gained a basic understanding of history and a look at the various empires that currently exist in the world; it offered me insight into the customs, governments, and religions of different nations. I learned about the lazy Asiatics, the incredible genius and intellectual vigor of the Greeks, the wars and remarkable virtue of the early Romans—along with their eventual decline and the fall of that great empire; about chivalry, Christianity, and kings. I also learned about the discovery of the American continent and wept with Safie over the tragic fate of its original inhabitants.
“These wonderful narrations inspired me with strange feelings. Was man, indeed, at once so powerful, so virtuous, and magnificent, yet so vicious and base? He appeared at one time a mere scion of the evil principle, and at another as all that can be conceived of noble and godlike. To be a great and virtuous man appeared the highest honour that can befall a sensitive being; to be base and vicious, as many on record have been, appeared the lowest degradation, a condition more abject than that of the blind mole or harmless worm. For a long time I could not conceive how one man could go forth to murder his fellow, or even why there were laws and governments; but when I heard details of vice and bloodshed, my wonder ceased, and I turned away with disgust and loathing.
“These amazing stories filled me with strange feelings. Was humanity really capable of being so powerful, virtuous, and magnificent, yet also so wicked and lowly? At times, he seemed like just a product of evil, and at other times, he embodied everything noble and godlike. Being a great and virtuous person seemed like the highest honor for a sensitive being, while being base and vicious, as many have been in history, felt like the lowest degradation—a state more miserable than that of a blind mole or a harmless worm. For a long time, I couldn’t understand how someone could go out and kill another person, or even why we needed laws and governments; but when I learned about the details of evil and violence, my wonder faded, and I turned away in disgust and revulsion."
“Every conversation of the cottagers now opened new wonders to me. While I listened to the instructions which Felix bestowed upon the Arabian, the strange system of human society was explained to me. I heard of the division of property, of immense wealth and squalid poverty; of rank, descent, and noble blood.
“Every conversation of the villagers now revealed new wonders to me. As I listened to the guidance that Felix gave to the Arabian, the unusual structure of human society was explained to me. I learned about the division of property, massive wealth and extreme poverty; about class, lineage, and noble blood.
“The words induced me to turn towards myself. I learned that the possessions most esteemed by your fellow-creatures were, high and unsullied descent united with riches. A man might be respected with only one of these acquisitions; but without either he was considered, except in very rare instances, as a vagabond and a slave, doomed to waste his powers for the profit of the chosen few. And what was I? Of my creation and creator I was absolutely ignorant; but I knew that I possessed no money, no friends, no kind of property. I was, besides, endowed with a figure hideously deformed and loathsome; I was not even of the same nature as man. I was more agile than they, and could subsist upon coarser diet; I bore the extremes of heat and cold with less injury to my frame; my stature far exceeded their’s. When I looked around, I saw and heard of none like me. Was I then a monster, a blot upon the earth, from which all men fled, and whom all men disowned?
“The words made me reflect on myself. I realized that the things most valued by people were a noble lineage combined with wealth. A person might earn respect with just one of these, but without either, they were seen, except in very rare cases, as a drifter and a slave, destined to waste their talents for the benefit of a select few. And what was I? I was completely unaware of my own creation or creator; all I knew was that I had no money, no friends, and no possessions. Additionally, I was cursed with a figure that was grotesquely deformed and repulsive; I was not even truly human. I was quicker than them and could survive on rougher food; I could withstand extreme temperatures with less harm to my body; I was much taller than they were. When I looked around, I saw no one like me. Was I, then, a monster, a stain on the earth that everyone avoided and rejected?
“I cannot describe to you the agony that these reflections inflicted upon me; I tried to dispel them, but sorrow only increased with knowledge. Oh, that I had for ever remained in my native wood, nor known or felt beyond the sensations of hunger, thirst, and heat!
“I can’t explain the pain that these thoughts caused me; I tried to shake them off, but my sorrow only grew with understanding. Oh, how I wish I had stayed forever in my home woods, never knowing or feeling anything beyond the basics of hunger, thirst, and heat!"
“Of what a strange nature is knowledge! It clings to the mind, when it has once seized on it, like a lichen on the rock. I wished sometimes to shake off all thought and feeling; but I learned that there was but one means to overcome the sensation of pain, and that was death—a state which I feared yet did not understand. I admired virtue and good feelings, and loved the gentle manners and amiable qualities of my cottagers; but I was shut out from intercourse with them, except through means which I obtained by stealth, when I was unseen and unknown, and which rather increased than satisfied the desire I had of becoming one among my fellows. The gentle words of Agatha, and the animated smiles of the charming Arabian, were not for me. The mild exhortations of the old man, and the lively conversation of the loved Felix, were not for me. Miserable, unhappy wretch!
“Knowledge is such a strange thing! Once it grabs hold of your mind, it sticks like lichen on a rock. Sometimes I wanted to shake off all thoughts and feelings; but I realized there was only one way to escape the pain, and that was death—a state I feared but didn’t truly understand. I admired virtue and good emotions, and I loved the kind manners and pleasant traits of my neighbors; but I was shut off from interacting with them, except through means I could only manage in secret, when I was unseen and unknown, which only made my desire to join them stronger. The kind words of Agatha and the bright smiles of the lovely Arabian were not meant for me. The gentle encouragement from the old man and the lively chats with dear Felix were beyond my reach. Miserable, unhappy wretch!
“Other lessons were impressed upon me even more deeply. I heard of the difference of sexes; of the birth and growth of children; how the father doated on the smiles of the infant, and the lively sallies of the older child; how all the life and cares of the mother were wrapt up in the precious charge; how the mind of youth expanded and gained knowledge; of brother, sister, and all the various relationships which bind one human being to another in mutual bonds.
“Other lessons made a stronger impression on me. I learned about the differences between genders, the birth and growth of children, how the father adored the smiles of the baby and the playful antics of the older child, and how the mother’s entire life and worries were focused on her precious child. I learned how a young person's mind expands and acquires knowledge, as well as the connections between siblings and all the various relationships that tie one person to another in mutual bonds.”
“But where were my friends and relations? No father had watched my infant days, no mother had blessed me with smiles and caresses; or if they had, all my past life was now a blot, a blind vacancy in which I distinguished nothing. From my earliest remembrance I had been as I then was in height and proportion. I had never yet seen a being resembling me, or who claimed any intercourse with me. What was I? The question again recurred, to be answered only with groans.
“But where were my friends and family? No father had watched over my early years, no mother had graced me with smiles and affection; or if they had, my entire past was now a blur, a vacant space where I recognized nothing. From my earliest memories, I had been just as I was then in height and shape. I had never seen anyone like me or who wanted to connect with me. What was I? That question kept coming back, answered only with groans.”
“I will soon explain to what these feelings tended; but allow me now to return to the cottagers, whose story excited in me such various feelings of indignation, delight, and wonder, but which all terminated in additional love and reverence for my protectors (for so I loved, in an innocent, half painful self-deceit, to call them).”
“I will soon explain what these feelings were about; but for now, let me go back to the cottagers, whose story stirred up a mix of indignation, delight, and wonder in me, all of which resulted in even more love and respect for my protectors (for that’s what I liked, in an innocent, slightly painful self-deception, to call them).”
CHAPTER VI.
“Some time elapsed before I learned the history of my friends. It was one which could not fail to impress itself deeply on my mind, unfolding as it did a number of circumstances each interesting and wonderful to one so utterly inexperienced as I was.
“Some time passed before I learned the story of my friends. It was one that couldn’t help but leave a deep impression on me, revealing a series of circumstances that were all fascinating and amazing to someone as inexperienced as I was.”
“The name of the old man was De Lacey. He was descended from a good family in France, where he had lived for many years in affluence, respected by his superiors, and beloved by his equals. His son was bred in the service of his country; and Agatha had ranked with ladies of the highest distinction. A few months before my arrival, they had lived in a large and luxurious city, called Paris, surrounded by friends, and possessed of every enjoyment which virtue, refinement of intellect, or taste, accompanied by a moderate fortune, could afford.
“The old man's name was De Lacey. He came from a good family in France, where he had lived in comfort for many years, respected by his superiors and loved by his peers. His son had served his country, and Agatha had been among the ladies of the highest status. A few months before I arrived, they had lived in a large, luxurious city called Paris, surrounded by friends and enjoying everything that virtue, intelligence, and good taste—paired with a reasonable fortune—could provide.”
“The father of Safie had been the cause of their ruin. He was a Turkish merchant, and had inhabited Paris for many years, when, for some reason which I could not learn, he became obnoxious to the government. He was seized and cast into prison the very day that Safie arrived from Constantinople to join him. He was tried, and condemned to death. The injustice of his sentence was very flagrant; all Paris was indignant; and it was judged that his religion and wealth, rather than the crime alleged against him, had been the cause of his condemnation.
"The father of Safie was the reason for their downfall. He was a Turkish merchant who had lived in Paris for many years. For reasons I couldn't find out, he became a target for the government. The day Safie arrived from Constantinople to join him, he was taken and thrown into prison. He was tried and sentenced to death. The injustice of his sentence was obvious; all of Paris was outraged; and it was believed that his religion and wealth, rather than the crime he was accused of, had led to his conviction."
“Felix had been present at the trial; his horror and indignation were uncontrollable, when he heard the decision of the court. He made, at that moment, a solemn vow to deliver him, and then looked around for the means. After many fruitless attempts to gain admittance to the prison, he found a strongly grated window in an unguarded part of the building, which lighted the dungeon of the unfortunate Mahometan; who, loaded with chains, waited in despair the execution of the barbarous sentence. Felix visited the grate at night, and made known to the prisoner his intentions in his favour. The Turk, amazed and delighted, endeavoured to kindle the zeal of his deliverer by promises of reward and wealth. Felix rejected his offers with contempt; yet when he saw the lovely Safie, who was allowed to visit her father, and who, by her gestures, expressed her lively gratitude, the youth could not help owning to his own mind, that the captive possessed a treasure which would fully reward his toil and hazard.
Felix had been at the trial; his horror and anger were uncontrollable when he heard the court's decision. In that moment, he made a solemn vow to save him and began looking for a way to do it. After many unsuccessful attempts to get into the prison, he found a heavily barred window in an unguarded part of the building that overlooked the dungeon of the unfortunate Muslim, who, weighed down by chains, awaited the execution of the cruel sentence in despair. Felix visited the grate at night and shared his plans with the prisoner. The Turk, amazed and thrilled, tried to inspire Felix's enthusiasm with promises of rewards and riches. Felix dismissed his offers with disdain; however, when he saw the beautiful Safie, who was allowed to visit her father and expressed her deep gratitude with her gestures, he couldn't help but admit to himself that the captive held a treasure that would fully reward his efforts and risks.
“The Turk quickly perceived the impression that his daughter had made on the heart of Felix, and endeavoured to secure him more entirely in his interests by the promise of her hand in marriage, so soon as he should be conveyed to a place of safety. Felix was too delicate to accept this offer; yet he looked forward to the probability of that event as to the consummation of his happiness.
“The Turk quickly noticed the impact his daughter had on Felix's heart and tried to ensure Felix's loyalty by offering her hand in marriage as soon as he was taken to safety. Felix was too sensitive to accept this offer, but he anticipated that event as the fulfillment of his happiness.”
“During the ensuing days, while the preparations were going forward for the escape of the merchant, the zeal of Felix was warmed by several letters that he received from this lovely girl, who found means to express her thoughts in the language of her lover by the aid of an old man, a servant of her father’s, who understood French. She thanked him in the most ardent terms for his intended services towards her father; and at the same time she gently deplored her own fate.
“During the following days, as preparations were being made for the merchant’s escape, Felix’s enthusiasm was sparked by several letters he received from this beautiful girl. She managed to convey her feelings in the language of her beloved with the help of an old man, a servant of her father, who understood French. She thanked him passionately for his plans to help her father and also expressed her sadness about her own situation.”
“I have copies of these letters; for I found means, during my residence in the hovel, to procure the implements of writing; and the letters were often in the hands of Felix or Agatha. Before I depart, I will give them to you, they will prove the truth of my tale; but at present, as the sun is already far declined, I shall only have time to repeat the substance of them to you.
“I have copies of these letters because I managed to get writing supplies while I was living in the hut, and Felix or Agatha often had the letters. Before I leave, I’ll give them to you; they will confirm my story. But right now, since the sun is already low in the sky, I’ll just share the main points with you.”
“Safie related, that her mother was a Christian Arab, seized and made a slave by the Turks; recommended by her beauty, she had won the heart of the father of Safie, who married her. The young girl spoke in high and enthusiastic terms of her mother, who, born in freedom spurned the bondage to which she was now reduced. She instructed her daughter in the tenets of her religion, and taught her to aspire to higher powers of intellect, and an independence of spirit, forbidden to the female followers of Mahomet. This lady died; but her lessons were indelibly impressed on the mind of Safie, who sickened at the prospect of again returning to Asia, and the being immured within the walls of a harem, allowed only to occupy herself with puerile amusements, ill suited to the temper of her soul, now accustomed to grand ideas and a noble emulation for virtue. The prospect of marrying a Christian, and remaining in a country where women were allowed to take a rank in society, was enchanting to her.
“Safie shared that her mother was a Christian Arab who had been captured and enslaved by the Turks. Noticed for her beauty, she won the heart of Safie's father, who married her. The young girl spoke highly and passionately about her mother, who, born free, rejected the slavery she had fallen into. She taught her daughter about her faith and encouraged her to strive for greater intelligence and independence, which were not permitted for women following Mohammed. This woman passed away, but her lessons left a lasting impression on Safie's mind. The thought of returning to Asia and being confined within the walls of a harem, only allowed to engage in trivial pastimes unfit for her spirited nature, filled her with dread. The idea of marrying a Christian and staying in a country where women had a place in society was incredibly appealing to her.
“The day for the execution of the Turk was fixed; but, on the night previous to it, he had quitted prison, and before morning was distant many leagues from Paris. Felix had procured passports in the name of his father, sister, and himself. He had previously communicated his plan to the former, who aided the deceit by quitting his house, under the pretence of a journey, and concealed himself, with his daughter, in an obscure part of Paris.
“The day for the execution of the Turk was set; but on the night before, he had escaped from prison and by morning was many leagues away from Paris. Felix had gotten passports in the names of his father, sister, and himself. He had already informed his father of the plan, who helped with the ruse by leaving his house under the pretense of a trip and hid himself, along with his daughter, in a secluded part of Paris.”
“Felix conducted the fugitives through France to Lyons, and across Mont Cenis to Leghorn, where the merchant had decided to wait a favourable opportunity of passing into some part of the Turkish dominions.
“Felix led the escapees through France to Lyon, and over Mont Cenis to Livorno, where the merchant had chosen to wait for a good chance to enter some part of the Turkish territories.”
“Safie resolved to remain with her father until the moment of his departure, before which time the Turk renewed his promise that she should be united to his deliverer; and Felix remained with them in expectation of that event; and in the mean time he enjoyed the society of the Arabian, who exhibited towards him the simplest and tenderest affection. They conversed with one another through the means of an interpreter, and sometimes with the interpretation of looks; and Safie sang to him the divine airs of her native country.
“Safie decided to stay with her father until the time came for him to leave, during which the Turk reaffirmed his promise that she would marry her rescuer; and Felix stayed with them in anticipation of that moment. In the meantime, he enjoyed the company of the Arabian, who showed him the purest and most tender affection. They communicated through an interpreter and sometimes through exchanged glances; and Safie sang to him the beautiful songs from her homeland.”
“The Turk allowed this intimacy to take place, and encouraged the hopes of the youthful lovers, while in his heart he had formed far other plans. He loathed the idea that his daughter should be united to a Christian; but he feared the resentment of Felix if he should appear lukewarm; for he knew that he was still in the power of his deliverer, if he should choose to betray him to the Italian state which they inhabited. He revolved a thousand plans by which he should be enabled to prolong the deceit until it might be no longer necessary, and secretly to take his daughter with him when he departed. His plans were greatly facilitated by the news which arrived from Paris.
“The Turk allowed this closeness to develop and encouraged the hopes of the young lovers, while secretly he had other plans. He hated the thought of his daughter marrying a Christian, but he was worried about Felix’s anger if he seemed indifferent; he knew he was still at the mercy of his rescuer, should he choose to betray him to the Italian state they lived in. He considered countless schemes to keep the deception going until it was no longer needed and to secretly take his daughter with him when he left. His plans were greatly aided by the news that came in from Paris.”
“The government of France were greatly enraged at the escape of their victim, and spared no pains to detect and punish his deliverer. The plot of Felix was quickly discovered, and De Lacey and Agatha were thrown into prison. The news reached Felix, and roused him from his dream of pleasure. His blind and aged father, and his gentle sister, lay in a noisome dungeon, while he enjoyed the free air, and the society of her whom he loved. This idea was torture to him. He quickly arranged with the Turk, that if the latter should find a favourable opportunity for escape before Felix could return to Italy, Safie should remain as a boarder at a convent at Leghorn; and then, quitting the lovely Arabian, he hastened to Paris, and delivered himself up to the vengeance of the law, hoping to free De Lacey and Agatha by this proceeding.
“The French government was extremely angry about the escape of their captive and did everything they could to find and punish the person who helped him. Felix's plan was quickly discovered, and De Lacey and Agatha were thrown into jail. When Felix heard the news, it snapped him out of his happy thoughts. His blind, elderly father and his kind sister were stuck in a filthy dungeon, while he was outside enjoying the fresh air and the company of the woman he loved. Just thinking about this tormented him. He quickly arranged with the Turk that if the Turk found a good chance to escape before Felix could get back to Italy, Safie would stay at a convent in Leghorn. Then, leaving the beautiful Arabian woman behind, he rushed to Paris and turned himself in, hoping this would help free De Lacey and Agatha.”
“He did not succeed. They remained confined for five months before the trial took place; the result of which deprived them of their fortune, and condemned them to a perpetual exile from their native country.
“He did not succeed. They were held for five months before the trial took place, which resulted in them losing their fortune and being sentenced to permanent exile from their home country.
“They found a miserable asylum in the cottage in Germany, where I discovered them. Felix soon learned that the treacherous Turk, for whom he and his family endured such unheard-of oppression, on discovering that his deliverer was thus reduced to poverty and impotence, became a traitor to good feeling and honour, and had quitted Italy with his daughter, insultingly sending Felix a pittance of money to aid him, as he said, in some plan of future maintenance.
“They found a miserable refuge in the cottage in Germany, where I discovered them. Felix soon learned that the deceitful Turk, for whom he and his family suffered such unimaginable oppression, upon realizing that his rescuer was now in poverty and powerless, betrayed any sense of decency and honor, and left Italy with his daughter, insultingly sending Felix a small amount of money to help him, as he claimed, with some future plan for support.”
“Such were the events that preyed on the heart of Felix, and rendered him, when I first saw him, the most miserable of his family. He could have endured poverty, and when this distress had been the meed of his virtue, he would have gloried in it: but the ingratitude of the Turk, and the loss of his beloved Safie, were misfortunes more bitter and irreparable. The arrival of the Arabian now infused new life into his soul.
“Such were the events that weighed heavily on Felix’s heart, making him, when I first saw him, the most miserable member of his family. He could have handled poverty, and when that hardship was the result of his virtue, he would have taken pride in it: but the ingratitude of the Turk and the loss of his beloved Safie were misfortunes far more bitter and irreparable. The arrival of the Arabian now breathed new life into his soul."
“When the news reached Leghorn, that Felix was deprived of his wealth and rank, the merchant commanded his daughter to think no more of her lover, but to prepare to return with him to her native country. The generous nature of Safie was outraged by this command; she attempted to expostulate with her father, but he left her angrily, reiterating his tyrannical mandate.
“When the news reached Leghorn that Felix had lost his wealth and status, the merchant ordered his daughter to stop thinking about her lover and to get ready to return with him to her home country. Safie's generous nature was deeply offended by this order; she tried to reason with her father, but he angrily walked away, repeating his oppressive command.”
“A few days after, the Turk entered his daughter’s apartment, and told her hastily, that he had reason to believe that his residence at Leghorn had been divulged, and that he should speedily be delivered up to the French government; he had, consequently, hired a vessel to convey him to Constantinople, for which city he should sail in a few hours. He intended to leave his daughter under the care of a confidential servant, to follow at her leisure with the greater part of his property, which had not yet arrived at Leghorn.
A few days later, the Turk rushed into his daughter's apartment and told her that he had reason to believe his location in Leghorn was about to be revealed, and that he would soon be handed over to the French government. Because of this, he had hired a ship to take him to Constantinople, and he would be leaving in a few hours. He planned to leave his daughter in the care of a trusted servant while she followed at her own pace with most of his belongings, which had not yet arrived in Leghorn.
“When alone, Safie resolved in her own mind the plan of conduct that it would become her to pursue in this emergency. A residence in Turkey was abhorrent to her; her religion and feelings were alike adverse to it. By some papers of her father’s, which fell into her hands, she heard of the exile of her lover, and learnt the name of the spot where he then resided. She hesitated some time, but at length she formed her determination. Taking with her some jewels that belonged to her, and a small sum of money, she quitted Italy, with an attendant, a native of Leghorn, but who understood the common language of Turkey, and departed for Germany.
“When she was alone, Safie made up her mind about what she needed to do in this situation. Living in Turkey was unacceptable to her; both her religion and her feelings were against it. After coming across some papers belonging to her father, she found out about her lover’s exile and discovered where he was living. She thought it over for a while, but eventually made up her mind. Taking some jewels that were hers and a little bit of money, she left Italy with a companion from Leghorn, who spoke the common language of Turkey, and set off for Germany.”
“She arrived in safety at a town about twenty leagues from the cottage of De Lacey, when her attendant fell dangerously ill. Safie nursed her with the most devoted affection; but the poor girl died, and the Arabian was left alone, unacquainted with the language of the country, and utterly ignorant of the customs of the world. She fell, however, into good hands. The Italian had mentioned the name of the spot for which they were bound; and, after her death, the woman of the house in which they had lived took care that Safie should arrive in safety at the cottage of her lover.”
“She arrived safely in a town about twenty leagues from De Lacey's cottage when her attendant became seriously ill. Safie cared for her with the utmost devotion, but unfortunately, the poor girl died, leaving the Arabian alone, unfamiliar with the local language, and completely ignorant of the world’s customs. However, she ended up in good hands. The Italian had mentioned the name of their destination, and after her death, the woman of the house where they had stayed made sure that Safie reached the cottage of her beloved safely.”
CHAPTER VII.
“Such was the history of my beloved cottagers. It impressed me deeply. I learned, from the views of social life which it developed, to admire their virtues, and to deprecate the vices of mankind.
“Such was the story of my beloved cottagers. It affected me profoundly. I learned, from the perspectives on social life that it revealed, to appreciate their virtues and to criticize the vices of humanity.
“As yet I looked upon crime as a distant evil; benevolence and generosity were ever present before me, inciting within me a desire to become an actor in the busy scene where so many admirable qualities were called forth and displayed. But, in giving an account of the progress of my intellect, I must not omit a circumstance which occurred in the beginning of the month of August of the same year.
“As I looked at crime from a distance, it seemed like a far-off evil; kindness and generosity were always in front of me, motivating me to want to be part of the vibrant scene where so many admirable qualities were brought forth and shown. However, in recounting the development of my thinking, I can't leave out an event that took place at the beginning of August of that same year.”
“One night, during my accustomed visit to the neighbouring wood, where I collected my own food, and brought home firing for my protectors, I found on the ground a leathern portmanteau, containing several articles of dress and some books. I eagerly seized the prize, and returned with it to my hovel. Fortunately the books were written in the language the elements of which I had acquired at the cottage; they consisted of Paradise Lost, a volume of Plutarch’s Lives, and the Sorrows of Werter. The possession of these treasures gave me extreme delight; I now continually studied and exercised my mind upon these histories, whilst my friends were employed in their ordinary occupations.
One night, during my usual visit to the nearby woods, where I gathered my own food and brought back firewood for my protectors, I discovered a leather suitcase on the ground. It contained several articles of clothing and some books. I eagerly grabbed the suitcase and returned to my hovel with it. Luckily, the books were written in the language I had learned the basics of at the cottage; they included Paradise Lost, a volume of Plutarch’s Lives, and The Sorrows of Werter. Having these treasures brought me immense joy; I continuously studied and engaged my mind with these stories while my friends were busy with their usual tasks.
“I can hardly describe to you the effect of these books. They produced in me an infinity of new images and feelings, that sometimes raised me to ecstacy, but more frequently sunk me into the lowest dejection. In the Sorrows of Werter, besides the interest of its simple and affecting story, so many opinions are canvassed, and so many lights thrown upon what had hitherto been to me obscure subjects, that I found in it a never-ending source of speculation and astonishment. The gentle and domestic manners it described, combined with lofty sentiments and feelings, which had for their object something out of self, accorded well with my experience among my protectors, and with the wants which were for ever alive in my own bosom. But I thought Werter himself a more divine being than I had ever beheld or imagined; his character contained no pretension, but it sunk deep. The disquisitions upon death and suicide were calculated to fill me with wonder. I did not pretend to enter into the merits of the case, yet I inclined towards the opinions of the hero, whose extinction I wept, without precisely understanding it.
“I can hardly describe the impact these books had on me. They filled me with countless new images and emotions, sometimes lifting me to ecstasy, but more often dragging me into deep despair. In the Sorrows of Werter, apart from the interest of its simple and touching story, so many opinions are discussed and so many perspectives shed light on what had previously been obscure topics for me, that I found it an endless source of thought and amazement. The gentle and homey manners it portrayed, combined with noble sentiments and feelings aimed at something beyond oneself, resonated with my experience among my guardians and with the persistent needs within me. But I saw Werter himself as a more divine being than I had ever seen or imagined; his character had no arrogance, but it resonated deeply. The discussions about death and suicide amazed me. I didn’t try to argue the merits of the situation; still, I found myself leaning toward the hero's views, mourning his end without fully understanding it.
“As I read, however, I applied much personally to my own feelings and condition. I found myself similar, yet at the same time strangely unlike the beings concerning whom I read, and to whose conversation I was a listener. I sympathized with, and partly understood them, but I was unformed in mind; I was dependent on none, and related to none. ‘The path of my departure was free;’ and there was none to lament my annihilation. My person was hideous, and my stature gigantic: what did this mean? Who was I? What was I? Whence did I come? What was my destination? These questions continually recurred, but I was unable to solve them.
“As I read, I couldn't help but connect it to my own feelings and situation. I saw myself as similar to the characters I read about, yet at the same time, strangely different. I felt empathy for them and somewhat understood their struggles, but I was mentally undeveloped; I relied on no one and was connected to no one. ‘The path of my departure was free;’ and there was no one to mourn my existence. My appearance was monstrous, and I was enormous: what did this signify? Who was I? What was I? Where did I come from? What was my purpose? These questions kept coming back, but I couldn't find the answers.”
“The volume of Plutarch’s Lives which I possessed, contained the histories of the first founders of the ancient republics. This book had a far different effect upon me from the Sorrows of Werter. I learned from Werter’s imaginations despondency and gloom: but Plutarch taught me high thoughts; he elevated me above the wretched sphere of my own reflections, to admire and love the heroes of past ages. Many things I read surpassed my understanding and experience. I had a very confused knowledge of kingdoms, wide extents of country, mighty rivers, and boundless seas. But I was perfectly unacquainted with towns, and large assemblages of men. The cottage of my protectors had been the only school in which I had studied human nature; but this book developed new and mightier scenes of action. I read of men concerned in public affairs governing or massacring their species. I felt the greatest ardour for virtue rise within me, and abhorrence for vice, as far as I understood the signification of those terms, relative as they were, as I applied them, to pleasure and pain alone. Induced by these feelings, I was of course led to admire peaceable law-givers, Numa, Solon, and Lycurgus, in preference to Romulus and Theseus. The patriarchal lives of my protectors caused these impressions to take a firm hold on my mind; perhaps, if my first introduction to humanity had been made by a young soldier, burning for glory and slaughter, I should have been imbued with different sensations.
The copy of Plutarch’s Lives I had included the stories of the early founders of ancient republics. This book affected me very differently than The Sorrows of Werter. From Werter's thoughts, I absorbed feelings of sadness and despair, but Plutarch inspired me with elevated ideas; he lifted me above my own miserable reflections, allowing me to admire and love the heroes of the past. Many things I read were beyond my understanding and experience. I had a very vague knowledge of kingdoms, vast countries, powerful rivers, and endless seas. But I was completely unfamiliar with towns and large groups of people. The cottage of my guardians was the only place where I learned about human nature; however, this book revealed new and greater scenes of action. I read about people involved in public life, governing or slaughtering their fellow beings. I felt a powerful desire for virtue arise within me and a strong dislike for vice, as far as I understood those terms—relative as they were, since I applied them only to pleasure and pain. Motivated by these feelings, I naturally admired peaceful lawgivers like Numa, Solon, and Lycurgus more than Romulus and Theseus. The patriarchal lives of my guardians made these impressions firmly take root in my mind; perhaps if my first introduction to humanity had come from a young soldier eager for glory and bloodshed, I would have developed different feelings.
“But Paradise Lost excited different and far deeper emotions. I read it, as I had read the other volumes which had fallen into my hands, as a true history. It moved every feeling of wonder and awe, that the picture of an omnipotent God warring with his creatures was capable of exciting. I often referred the several situations, as their similarity struck me, to my own. Like Adam, I was created apparently united by no link to any other being in existence; but his state was far different from mine in every other respect. He had come forth from the hands of God a perfect creature, happy and prosperous, guarded by the especial care of his Creator; he was allowed to converse with, and acquire knowledge from beings of a superior nature: but I was wretched, helpless, and alone. Many times I considered Satan as the fitter emblem of my condition; for often, like him, when I viewed the bliss of my protectors, the bitter gall of envy rose within me.
“But Paradise Lost stirred different and much deeper emotions. I read it, just like the other books that came my way, as if it were a true story. It evoked every feeling of wonder and awe that the image of an all-powerful God battling with His creations could inspire. I often related the various situations, as their similarities struck me, to my own life. Like Adam, I felt as if I was brought into the world without any connection to another being; but his circumstances were vastly different from mine in every way. He emerged from the hands of God as a perfect being, happy and thriving, watched over by the special care of his Creator; he could talk to and learn from beings of a higher nature: but I was miserable, helpless, and alone. Many times I thought of Satan as a more fitting symbol of my situation; for often, like him, when I saw the happiness of my protectors, a deep sense of envy surged within me.
“Another circumstance strengthened and confirmed these feelings. Soon after my arrival in the hovel, I discovered some papers in the pocket of the dress which I had taken from your laboratory. At first I had neglected them; but now that I was able to decypher the characters in which they were written, I began to study them with diligence. It was your journal of the four months that preceded my creation. You minutely described in these papers every step you took in the progress of your work; this history was mingled with accounts of domestic occurrences. You, doubtless, recollect these papers. Here they are. Every thing is related in them which bears reference to my accursed origin; the whole detail of that series of disgusting circumstances which produced it is set in view; the minutest description of my odious and loathsome person is given, in language which painted your own horrors, and rendered mine ineffaceable. I sickened as I read. ‘Hateful day when I received life!’ I exclaimed in agony. ‘Cursed creator! Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in disgust? God in pity made man beautiful and alluring, after his own image; but my form is a filthy type of your’s, more horrid from its very resemblance. Satan had his companions, fellow-devils, to admire and encourage him; but I am solitary and detested.’
“Another situation strengthened and confirmed these feelings. Soon after I arrived at the hovel, I found some papers in the pocket of the dress I took from your lab. At first, I ignored them, but now that I could decipher the writing, I began to study them diligently. It was your journal from the four months leading up to my creation. You detailed every step you took in your work, mixing it with accounts of domestic events. You probably remember these papers. Here they are. Everything related to my cursed origin is documented in them; the entire story of the disgusting circumstances that brought me into being is laid bare; every detail of my ugly and repulsive appearance is described in language that highlights your own horrors and makes mine unforgettable. I felt sick as I read. ‘Hateful day when I was given life!’ I cried out in pain. ‘Cursed creator! Why did you make a monster so hideous that even you turned away in disgust? God, in his mercy, made man beautiful and appealing, in his own image; but my form is a filthy version of yours, even more horrifying because it resembles you. Satan had his companions, fellow devils, to admire and encourage him; but I am alone and detested.’”
“These were the reflections of my hours of despondency and solitude; but when I contemplated the virtues of the cottagers, their amiable and benevolent dispositions, I persuaded myself that when they should become acquainted with my admiration of their virtues, they would compassionate me, and overlook my personal deformity. Could they turn from their door one, however monstrous, who solicited their compassion and friendship? I resolved, at least, not to despair, but in every way to fit myself for an interview with them which would decide my fate. I postponed this attempt for some months longer; for the importance attached to its success inspired me with a dread lest I should fail. Besides, I found that my understanding improved so much with every day’s experience, that I was unwilling to commence this undertaking until a few more months should have added to my wisdom.
“These were the thoughts I had during my hours of sadness and isolation; but when I thought about the kindness and goodwill of the cottagers, I convinced myself that once they knew how much I admired their qualities, they would feel sorry for me and overlook my physical appearance. Could they really turn away someone, no matter how monstrous, who was asking for their compassion and friendship? I decided, at the very least, not to give up, but to prepare myself for an encounter with them that would determine my future. I put off this attempt for a few more months; the pressure of needing it to succeed made me anxious about the possibility of failing. Also, I noticed that my understanding was improving with each day’s experiences, so I was reluctant to start this endeavor until a few more months had added to my knowledge.
“Several changes, in the mean time, took place in the cottage. The presence of Safie diffused happiness among its inhabitants; and I also found that a greater degree of plenty reigned there. Felix and Agatha spent more time in amusement and conversation, and were assisted in their labours by servants. They did not appear rich, but they were contented and happy; their feelings were serene and peaceful, while mine became every day more tumultuous. Increase of knowledge only discovered to me more clearly what a wretched outcast I was. I cherished hope, it is true; but it vanished, when I beheld my person reflected in water, or my shadow in the moon-shine, even as that frail image and that inconstant shade.
“Several changes took place in the cottage during this time. Safie's presence brought happiness to its inhabitants, and I noticed that there was more abundance. Felix and Agatha spent more time having fun and talking, while they were helped in their work by servants. They didn't appear wealthy, but they were satisfied and happy; their feelings were calm and peaceful, while mine grew more chaotic each day. Gaining knowledge only made me realize more clearly what a miserable outcast I was. I held onto hope, it's true; but it faded when I saw my reflection in water or my shadow in the moonlight, just like that fragile image and fleeting shade.”
“I endeavoured to crush these fears, and to fortify myself for the trial which in a few months I resolved to undergo; and sometimes I allowed my thoughts, unchecked by reason, to ramble in the fields of Paradise, and dared to fancy amiable and lovely creatures sympathizing with my feelings and cheering my gloom; their angelic countenances breathed smiles of consolation. But it was all a dream: no Eve soothed my sorrows, or shared my thoughts; I was alone. I remembered Adam’s supplication to his Creator; but where was mine? he had abandoned me, and, in the bitterness of my heart, I cursed him.
“I tried to push these fears aside and prepare myself for the challenge I planned to face in a few months. Sometimes I let my thoughts wander freely in the fields of Paradise, imagining kind and beautiful beings understanding my feelings and brightening my sadness; their angelic faces offered smiles of comfort. But it was all just a fantasy: no Eve comforted my sorrows or shared my thoughts; I was alone. I remembered Adam’s plea to his Creator, but where was mine? He had left me, and in the bitterness of my heart, I cursed him.
“Autumn passed thus. I saw, with surprise and grief, the leaves decay and fall, and nature again assume the barren and bleak appearance it had worn when I first beheld the woods and the lovely moon. Yet I did not heed the bleakness of the weather; I was better fitted by my conformation for the endurance of cold than heat. But my chief delights were the sight of the flowers, the birds, and all the gay apparel of summer; when those deserted me, I turned with more attention towards the cottagers. Their happiness was not decreased by the absence of summer. They loved, and sympathized with one another; and their joys, depending on each other, were not interrupted by the casualties that took place around them. The more I saw of them, the greater became my desire to claim their protection and kindness; my heart yearned to be known and loved by these amiable creatures: to see their sweet looks turned towards me with affection, was the utmost limit of my ambition. I dared not think that they would turn them from me with disdain and horror. The poor that stopped at their door were never driven away. I asked, it is true, for greater treasures than a little food or rest; I required kindness and sympathy; but I did not believe myself utterly unworthy of it.
Autumn passed like this. I watched, with surprise and sadness, as the leaves decayed and fell, and nature took on the barren and bleak look it had when I first saw the woods and the beautiful moon. Still, I didn’t focus on the dreary weather; I was better suited to endure the cold than the heat. But my main joys were the sight of flowers, birds, and all the vibrant colors of summer; when those left me, I began to pay more attention to the cottage dwellers. Their happiness wasn’t diminished by the absence of summer. They loved and supported each other; their joys, which relied on one another, weren’t affected by the troubles around them. The more I observed them, the stronger my desire grew to gain their protection and kindness; my heart longed to be known and loved by these kind people: to see their sweet faces turned towards me with affection was the ultimate goal of my ambition. I dared not think that they would look at me with disdain and horror. The poor who came to their doorstep were never turned away. I asked, it’s true, for more than just a bit of food or rest; I craved kindness and sympathy; but I didn’t believe I was completely unworthy of it.
“The winter advanced, and an entire revolution of the seasons had taken place since I awoke into life. My attention, at this time, was solely directed towards my plan of introducing myself into the cottage of my protectors. I revolved many projects; but that on which I finally fixed was, to enter the dwelling when the blind old man should be alone. I had sagacity enough to discover, that the unnatural hideousness of my person was the chief object of horror with those who had formerly beheld me. My voice, although harsh, had nothing terrible in it; I thought, therefore, that if, in the absence of his children, I could gain the good-will and mediation of the old De Lacy, I might, by his means, be tolerated by my younger protectors.
"The winter progressed, and a whole cycle of seasons had passed since I came to life. At this point, I was focused entirely on my plan to introduce myself to the cottage of my protectors. I considered several strategies, but the one I finally settled on was to enter the house when the blind old man was alone. I was clever enough to realize that the unnatural ugliness of my appearance was the main source of fear for those who had seen me before. My voice, while rough, wasn't really frightening; I thought that if I could win over the old De Lacy without his children around, I might be accepted by my younger protectors through him."
“One day, when the sun shone on the red leaves that strewed the ground, and diffused cheerfulness, although it denied warmth, Safie, Agatha, and Felix, departed on a long country walk, and the old man, at his own desire, was left alone in the cottage. When his children had departed, he took up his guitar, and played several mournful, but sweet airs, more sweet and mournful than I had ever heard him play before. At first his countenance was illuminated with pleasure, but, as he continued, thoughtfulness and sadness succeeded; at length, laying aside the instrument, he sat absorbed in reflection.
“One day, when the sun was shining on the red leaves scattered on the ground, bringing a sense of cheerfulness even though it didn't provide warmth, Safie, Agatha, and Felix went out for a long walk in the countryside, leaving the old man alone in the cottage at his own request. Once his children were gone, he picked up his guitar and played several sad yet beautiful tunes, more beautiful and melancholic than anything I had ever heard him play before. At first, his face lit up with pleasure, but as he continued, a sense of deep thoughtfulness and sadness took over; eventually, he set the instrument aside and sat lost in reflection.”
“My heart beat quick; this was the hour and moment of trial, which would decide my hopes, or realize my fears. The servants were gone to a neighbouring fair. All was silent in and around the cottage: it was an excellent opportunity; yet, when I proceeded to execute my plan, my limbs failed me, and I sunk to the ground. Again I rose; and, exerting all the firmness of which I was master, removed the planks which I had placed before my hovel to conceal my retreat. The fresh air revived me, and, with renewed determination, I approached the door of their cottage.
“My heart was racing; this was the moment of truth that would determine my hopes or confirm my fears. The servants had gone to a nearby fair. Everything was quiet in and around the cottage: it was a perfect opportunity; yet, when I tried to carry out my plan, my legs gave out, and I collapsed to the ground. I got back up again; and, summoning all the strength I had, I removed the planks I had put up in front of my shelter to hide my escape. The fresh air rejuvenated me, and with a newfound resolve, I walked towards the door of their cottage.
“I knocked. ‘Who is there?’ said the old man—‘Come in.’
“I knocked. ‘Who’s there?’ said the old man—‘Come in.’”
“I entered; ‘Pardon this intrusion,’ said I, ‘I am a traveller in want of a little rest; you would greatly oblige me, if you would allow me to remain a few minutes before the fire.’
“I walked in; ‘Sorry to intrude,’ I said, ‘I’m a traveler in need of a bit of rest; I would really appreciate it if you could let me stay for a few minutes by the fire.’”
“‘Enter,’ said De Lacy; ‘and I will try in what manner I can relieve your wants; but, unfortunately, my children are from home, and, as I am blind, I am afraid I shall find it difficult to procure food for you.’
“‘Come in,’ said De Lacy; ‘and I’ll see how I can help you; but, unfortunately, my kids are away from home, and since I’m blind, I’m afraid it’ll be hard for me to get food for you.’”
“‘Do not trouble yourself, my kind host, I have food; it is warmth and rest only that I need.’
“‘Don’t worry about me, my generous host, I have food; all I need is warmth and a place to rest.’”
“I sat down, and a silence ensued. I knew that every minute was precious to me, yet I remained irresolute in what manner to commence the interview; when the old man addressed me—
“I sat down, and a silence followed. I knew that every minute was valuable to me, yet I hesitated on how to start the interview; when the old man spoke to me—
“‘By your language, stranger, I suppose you are my countryman;—are you French?’
“‘From your language, stranger, I guess you’re from my country; are you French?’”
“‘No; but I was educated by a French family, and understand that language only. I am now going to claim the protection of some friends, whom I sincerely love, and of whose favour I have some hopes.’
“‘No; but I was raised by a French family and only understand that language. I’m now going to seek the help of some friends, whom I truly care about, and from whom I have some hopes of support.’”
“‘Are these Germans?’
“‘Are these people German?’”
“‘No, they are French. But let us change the subject. I am an unfortunate and deserted creature; I look around, and I have no relation or friend upon earth. These amiable people to whom I go have never seen me, and know little of me. I am full of fears; for if I fail there, I am an outcast in the world for ever.’
“‘No, they are French. But let’s change the subject. I’m an unfortunate and abandoned person; I look around, and I have no family or friends in the world. These nice people I’m going to have never seen me and know very little about me. I’m filled with fears because if I fail there, I’ll be an outcast in the world forever.’”
“‘Do not despair. To be friendless is indeed to be unfortunate; but the hearts of men, when unprejudiced by any obvious self-interest, are full of brotherly love and charity. Rely, therefore, on your hopes; and if these friends are good and amiable, do not despair.’
“‘Don’t lose hope. Being without friends is really tough; but when people aren’t influenced by their own selfish interests, they have plenty of kindness and compassion. So, trust in your hopes; and if these friends are genuine and kind, don’t give up.’”
“‘They are kind—they are the most excellent creatures in the world; but, unfortunately, they are prejudiced against me. I have good dispositions; my life has been hitherto harmless, and, in some degree, beneficial; but a fatal prejudice clouds their eyes, and where they ought to see a feeling and kind friend, they behold only a detestable monster.’
“‘They’re kind—they’re the best beings in the world; but, unfortunately, they have a bias against me. I have good intentions; my life has been harmless so far and, in some ways, helpful; but a damaging prejudice blinds them, and where they should see a compassionate and kind friend, they only see a horrible monster.’”
“‘That is indeed unfortunate; but if you are really blameless, cannot you undeceive them?’
“‘That is really unfortunate; but if you’re truly innocent, can’t you set them straight?’”
“‘I am about to undertake that task; and it is on that account that I feel so many overwhelming terrors. I tenderly love these friends; I have, unknown to them, been for many months in the habits of daily kindness towards them; but they believe that I wish to injure them, and it is that prejudice which I wish to overcome.’
“‘I’m about to take on that task, and that’s why I feel so many overwhelming fears. I care deeply for these friends; I have, without them knowing, been in the routine of being kind to them every day for months. But they think I want to hurt them, and it’s that misunderstanding that I want to change.’”
“‘Where do these friends reside?’
“‘Where do these friends live?’”
“‘Near this spot.’
"‘Right here.’"
“The old man paused, and then continued, ‘If you will unreservedly confide to me the particulars of your tale, I perhaps may be of use in undeceiving them. I am blind, and cannot judge of your countenance, but there is something in your words which persuades me that you are sincere. I am poor, and an exile; but it will afford me true pleasure to be in any way serviceable to a human creature.’
“The old man paused and then continued, ‘If you’ll share the details of your story with me, I might be able to help in revealing the truth to them. I am blind and can’t see your face, but something in your words makes me believe that you’re genuine. I’m poor and an outcast, but it would truly make me happy to be of any help to another person.’”
“‘Excellent man! I thank you, and accept your generous offer. You raise me from the dust by this kindness; and I trust that, by your aid, I shall not be driven from the society and sympathy of your fellow-creatures.’
“‘Thank you so much! I really appreciate your generous offer. You’re lifting me out of this low point with your kindness, and I hope that, with your help, I won’t be pushed away from the company and support of others.’”
“‘Heaven forbid! even if you were really criminal; for that can only drive you to desperation, and not instigate you to virtue. I also am unfortunate; I and my family have been condemned, although innocent: judge, therefore, if I do not feel for your misfortunes.’
“‘God forbid! Even if you were truly guilty; that would only push you to despair, not inspire you to do good. I’m also unfortunate; my family and I have been judged, even though we're innocent: so see if I don’t empathize with your troubles.’”
“‘How can I thank you, my best and only benefactor? from your lips first have I heard the voice of kindness directed towards me; I shall be for ever grateful; and your present humanity assures me of success with those friends whom I am on the point of meeting.’
“‘How can I thank you, my greatest and only supporter? It’s from your words that I’ve first heard kindness directed at me; I will be forever grateful; and your current compassion gives me confidence about succeeding with the friends I’m about to meet.’”
“‘May I know the names and residence of those friends?’
“‘Can I get the names and addresses of those friends?’”
“I paused. This, I thought, was the moment of decision, which was to rob me of, or bestow happiness on me for ever. I struggled vainly for firmness sufficient to answer him, but the effort destroyed all my remaining strength; I sank on the chair, and sobbed aloud. At that moment I heard the steps of my younger protectors. I had not a moment to lose; but, seizing the hand of the old man, I cried, ‘Now is the time!—save and protect me! You and your family are the friends whom I seek. Do not you desert me in the hour of trial!’
"I paused. This, I thought, was the moment of decision that would either take away my happiness or give it to me forever. I struggled in vain to find the strength to respond to him, but the effort drained the last of my energy; I sank into the chair and sobbed loudly. At that moment, I heard the footsteps of my younger protectors. I had no time to waste; grabbing the old man's hand, I cried, ‘Now is the time!—save and protect me! You and your family are the friends I need. Don’t abandon me in this moment of crisis!’"
“‘Great God!’ exclaimed the old man, ‘who are you?’
“‘Great God!’ the old man exclaimed, ‘who are you?’”
“At that instant the cottage door was opened, and Felix, Safie, and Agatha entered. Who can describe their horror and consternation on beholding me? Agatha fainted; and Safie, unable to attend to her friend, rushed out of the cottage. Felix darted forward, and with supernatural force tore me from his father, to whose knees I clung: in a transport of fury, he dashed me to the ground, and struck me violently with a stick. I could have torn him limb from limb, as the lion rends the antelope. But my heart sunk within me as with bitter sickness, and I refrained. I saw him on the point of repeating his blow, when, overcome by pain and anguish, I quitted the cottage, and in the general tumult escaped unperceived to my hovel.”
“At that moment, the cottage door swung open, and Felix, Safie, and Agatha walked in. Who can describe their shock and fear when they saw me? Agatha fainted, and Safie, unable to help her friend, ran out of the cottage. Felix charged forward and, with overwhelming strength, pulled me away from his father, to whom I was clinging. In a fit of rage, he threw me to the ground and hit me hard with a stick. I could have torn him apart, like a lion attacking an antelope. But my heart sank into a deep sadness, and I held back. I saw him about to strike again when, overcome by pain and despair, I left the cottage and in the chaos, managed to escape unnoticed to my hovel.”
CHAPTER VIII.
“Cursed, cursed creator! Why did I live? Why, in that instant, did I not extinguish the spark of existence which you had so wantonly bestowed? I know not; despair had not yet taken possession of me; my feelings were those of rage and revenge. I could with pleasure have destroyed the cottage and its inhabitants, and have glutted myself with their shrieks and misery.
“Cursed, cursed creator! Why did I live? Why, at that moment, didn’t I end the spark of existence that you so recklessly gave me? I don’t know; despair hadn’t consumed me yet; my feelings were filled with rage and a desire for revenge. I could have easily destroyed the cottage and its residents, relishing their screams and suffering.”
“When night came, I quitted my retreat, and wandered in the wood; and now, no longer restrained by the fear of discovery, I gave vent to my anguish in fearful howlings. I was like a wild beast that had broken the toils; destroying the objects that obstructed me, and ranging through the wood with a stag-like swiftness. Oh! what a miserable night I passed! the cold stars shone in mockery, and the bare trees waved their branches above me: now and then the sweet voice of a bird burst forth amidst the universal stillness. All, save I, were at rest or in enjoyment: I, like the arch fiend, bore a hell within me; and, finding myself unsympathized with, wished to tear up the trees, spread havoc and destruction around me, and then to have sat down and enjoyed the ruin.
"When night fell, I left my hiding place and wandered through the woods. Now, free from the fear of being caught, I let out my pain in haunting howls. I was like a wild animal that had escaped a trap, smashing aside anything that got in my way and moving through the forest with the speed of a deer. Oh, what a miserable night it was! The cold stars seemed to mock me, and the bare trees waved their branches overhead. Occasionally, the sweet song of a bird broke the silence. Everyone else, except me, was at peace or enjoying themselves; I, like the ultimate villain, carried a hell inside me. Feeling completely alone, I wished to uproot the trees, spread chaos and destruction around me, and then sit back and revel in the wreckage."
“But this was a luxury of sensation that could not endure; I became fatigued with excess of bodily exertion, and sank on the damp grass in the sick impotence of despair. There was none among the myriads of men that existed who would pity or assist me; and should I feel kindness towards my enemies? No: from that moment I declared everlasting war against the species, and, more than all, against him who had formed me, and sent me forth to this insupportable misery.
"But this was a feeling of luxury that couldn't last; I got tired from too much physical exertion and collapsed onto the wet grass in a deep despair. There was no one among the countless people in the world who would show me compassion or help me; and should I have feelings of kindness toward my enemies? No: from that moment, I declared a never-ending war against humanity, and especially against the one who created me and sent me into this unbearable misery."
“The sun rose; I heard the voices of men, and knew that it was impossible to return to my retreat during that day. Accordingly I hid myself in some thick underwood, determining to devote the ensuing hours to reflection on my situation.
“The sun rose; I heard the voices of men, and I knew it was impossible to go back to my hiding place that day. So, I concealed myself in some dense bushes, planning to spend the next few hours thinking about my situation."
“The pleasant sunshine, and the pure air of day, restored me to some degree of tranquillity; and when I considered what had passed at the cottage, I could not help believing that I had been too hasty in my conclusions. I had certainly acted imprudently. It was apparent that my conversation had interested the father in my behalf, and I was a fool in having exposed my person to the horror of his children. I ought to have familiarized the old De Lacy to me, and by degrees have discovered myself to the rest of his family, when they should have been prepared for my approach. But I did not believe my errors to be irretrievable; and, after much consideration, I resolved to return to the cottage, seek the old man, and by my representations win him to my party.
The nice sunshine and fresh air of the day helped me feel a bit calmer, and as I thought about what had happened at the cottage, I realized I might have jumped to conclusions too quickly. I had definitely acted thoughtlessly. It was clear that my conversation had sparked the father's interest in me, and I was foolish to have exposed myself to his children’s horror. I should have gotten the old De Lacy used to me first and gradually revealed myself to the rest of the family once they were ready for my presence. But I didn’t think my mistakes were beyond fixing; after some thought, I decided to go back to the cottage, find the old man, and try to win him over to my side.
“These thoughts calmed me, and in the afternoon I sank into a profound sleep; but the fever of my blood did not allow me to be visited by peaceful dreams. The horrible scene of the preceding day was for ever acting before my eyes; the females were flying, and the enraged Felix tearing me from his father’s feet. I awoke exhausted; and, finding that it was already night, I crept forth from my hiding-place, and went in search of food.
“These thoughts calmed me, and in the afternoon I fell into a deep sleep; but the fever in my blood wouldn’t let me have peaceful dreams. The horrible scene from the day before kept playing in front of my eyes; the women were running away, and the furious Felix was pulling me away from his father’s feet. I woke up feeling drained; and, realizing it was already night, I slipped out of my hiding spot and went to look for food."
“When my hunger was appeased, I directed my steps towards the well-known path that conducted to the cottage. All there was at peace. I crept into my hovel, and remained in silent expectation of the accustomed hour when the family arose. That hour past, the sun mounted high in the heavens, but the cottagers did not appear. I trembled violently, apprehending some dreadful misfortune. The inside of the cottage was dark, and I heard no motion; I cannot describe the agony of this suspence.
“When I was no longer hungry, I headed towards the familiar path that led to the cottage. Everything there was calm. I slipped into my little shelter and waited quietly for the usual time when the family would wake up. That time passed, the sun rose high in the sky, but the cottagers didn’t show up. I shook with fear, fearing some terrible disaster. The inside of the cottage was dark, and I heard no movement; I can’t explain the agony of this uncertainty.”
“Presently two countrymen passed by; but, pausing near the cottage, they entered into conversation, using violent gesticulations; but I did not understand what they said, as they spoke the language of the country, which differed from that of my protectors. Soon after, however, Felix approached with another man: I was surprised, as I knew that he had not quitted the cottage that morning, and waited anxiously to discover, from his discourse, the meaning of these unusual appearances.
“Right now, two locals walked by; however, they paused near the cottage and started talking, using wild hand gestures. I couldn’t understand what they were saying because they spoke the local language, which was different from that of my protectors. Soon after, though, Felix came over with another man. I was surprised since I knew he hadn’t left the cottage that morning, and I was eager to find out the meaning behind these unusual happenings from his conversation.”
“‘Do you consider,’ said his companion to him, ‘that you will be obliged to pay three months’ rent, and to lose the produce of your garden? I do not wish to take any unfair advantage, and I beg therefore that you will take some days to consider of your determination.’
“‘Do you think,’ his companion asked him, ‘that you’ll have to pay three months’ rent and lose the harvest from your garden? I don’t want to take any unfair advantage, so I urge you to take a few days to think about your decision.’”
“‘It is utterly useless,’ replied Felix, ‘we can never again inhabit your cottage. The life of my father is in the greatest danger, owing to the dreadful circumstance that I have related. My wife and my sister will never recover their horror. I entreat you not to reason with me any more. Take possession of your tenement, and let me fly from this place.’
“‘It’s completely useless,’ replied Felix, ‘we can never live in your cottage again. My father’s life is in serious danger because of the terrible situation I’ve described. My wife and sister will never get over their fear. I beg you not to argue with me anymore. Take back your property, and let me escape from this place.’”
“Felix trembled violently as he said this. He and his companion entered the cottage, in which they remained for a few minutes, and then departed. I never saw any of the family of De Lacy more.
“Felix shook uncontrollably as he said this. He and his friend went into the cottage, where they stayed for a few minutes, and then left. I never saw any of the De Lacy family again.
“I continued for the remainder of the day in my hovel in a state of utter and stupid despair. My protectors had departed, and had broken the only link that held me to the world. For the first time the feelings of revenge and hatred filled my bosom, and I did not strive to controul them; but, allowing myself to be borne away by the stream, I bent my mind towards injury and death. When I thought of my friends, of the mild voice of De Lacy, the gentle eyes of Agatha, and the exquisite beauty of the Arabian, these thoughts vanished, and a gush of tears somewhat soothed me. But again, when I reflected that they had spurned and deserted me, anger returned, a rage of anger; and, unable to injure any thing human, I turned my fury towards inanimate objects. As night advanced, I placed a variety of combustibles around the cottage; and, after having destroyed every vestige of cultivation in the garden, I waited with forced impatience until the moon had sunk to commence my operations.
I spent the rest of the day in my hovel, completely and mindlessly overwhelmed by despair. My protectors had left, breaking the only connection I had to the outside world. For the first time, feelings of revenge and hatred filled me, and I didn’t try to control them. Instead, I let myself be swept away by those emotions, focusing my thoughts on injury and death. When I thought of my friends, the gentle voice of De Lacy, the kind eyes of Agatha, and the stunning beauty of the Arabian, those thoughts faded, and tears helped calm me a bit. But then, when I remembered that they had rejected and abandoned me, anger surged back—fury, to be exact. Unable to hurt anything human, I directed my rage at inanimate objects. As night fell, I set various flammable materials around the cottage, and after destroying every trace of cultivation in the garden, I waited impatiently for the moon to set before beginning my actions.
“As the night advanced, a fierce wind arose from the woods, and quickly dispersed the clouds that had loitered in the heavens: the blast tore along like a mighty avalanche, and produced a kind of insanity in my spirits, that burst all bounds of reason and reflection. I lighted the dry branch of a tree, and danced with fury around the devoted cottage, my eyes still fixed on the western horizon, the edge of which the moon nearly touched. A part of its orb was at length hid, and I waved my brand; it sunk, and, with a loud scream, I fired the straw, and heath, and bushes, which I had collected. The wind fanned the fire, and the cottage was quickly enveloped by the flames, which clung to it, and licked it with their forked and destroying tongues.
“As the night went on, a fierce wind rose from the woods and quickly scattered the clouds that had lingered in the sky: the gust moved like a powerful avalanche and drove me into a sort of madness that shattered all sense and reasoning. I lit a dry branch from a tree and danced with fury around the helpless cottage, my eyes still focused on the western horizon, where the moon was almost touching the edge. Part of its orb was finally hidden, and I waved my torch; it dipped, and with a loud scream, I set fire to the straw, heath, and bushes I had gathered. The wind fueled the flames, and the cottage was quickly engulfed by the fire, which wrapped around it and licked it with its forked and destructive tongues.”
“As soon as I was convinced that no assistance could save any part of the habitation, I quitted the scene, and sought for refuge in the woods.
“As soon as I realized that no help could save any part of the house, I left the place and looked for shelter in the woods."
“And now, with the world before me, whither should I bend my steps? I resolved to fly far from the scene of my misfortunes; but to me, hated and despised, every country must be equally horrible. At length the thought of you crossed my mind. I learned from your papers that you were my father, my creator; and to whom could I apply with more fitness than to him who had given me life? Among the lessons that Felix had bestowed upon Safie geography had not been omitted: I had learned from these the relative situations of the different countries of the earth. You had mentioned Geneva as the name of your native town; and towards this place I resolved to proceed.
"And now, with the world ahead of me, where should I go? I decided to run far from the place of my misfortunes; but for me, hated and despised, every country would be equally terrible. Eventually, the thought of you came to me. I found out from your papers that you were my father, my creator; and who better to turn to than the one who gave me life? Among the lessons that Felix taught Safie, geography was included: I learned about the locations of different countries around the world. You had mentioned Geneva as your hometown; so I decided to head there."
“But how was I to direct myself? I knew that I must travel in a south-westerly direction to reach my destination; but the sun was my only guide. I did not know the names of the towns that I was to pass through, nor could I ask information from a single human being; but I did not despair. From you only could I hope for succour, although towards you I felt no sentiment but that of hatred. Unfeeling, heartless creator! you had endowed me with perceptions and passions, and then cast me abroad an object for the scorn and horror of mankind. But on you only had I any claim for pity and redress, and from you I determined to seek that justice which I vainly attempted to gain from any other being that wore the human form.
“But how was I supposed to find my way? I knew I had to head southwest to get to my destination, but the sun was my only guide. I didn't know the names of the towns I would pass through, nor could I ask anyone for help; but I didn’t lose hope. Only you could help me, even though I felt nothing towards you but hatred. Unfeeling, heartless creator! You gave me feelings and desires, and then abandoned me to be the object of scorn and horror for humanity. But you were the only one I could turn to for pity and justice, and from you, I resolved to seek the fairness that I could never get from any other human being.
“My travels were long, and the sufferings I endured intense. It was late in autumn when I quitted the district where I had so long resided. I travelled only at night, fearful of encountering the visage of a human being. Nature decayed around me, and the sun became heatless; rain and snow poured around me; mighty rivers were frozen; the surface of the earth was hard, and chill, and bare, and I found no shelter. Oh, earth! how often did I imprecate curses on the cause of my being! The mildness of my nature had fled, and all within me was turned to gall and bitterness. The nearer I approached to your habitation, the more deeply did I feel the spirit of revenge enkindled in my heart. Snow fell, and the waters were hardened, but I rested not. A few incidents now and then directed me, and I possessed a map of the country; but I often wandered wide from my path. The agony of my feelings allowed me no respite: no incident occurred from which my rage and misery could not extract its food; but a circumstance that happened when I arrived on the confines of Switzerland, when the sun had recovered its warmth, and the earth again began to look green, confirmed in an especial manner the bitterness and horror of my feelings.
"My travels were long, and the suffering I endured was intense. It was late autumn when I left the area where I had lived for so long. I only traveled at night, afraid of running into another person. Nature decayed around me, and the sun had lost its warmth; rain and snow fell all around me; mighty rivers froze; the ground was hard, cold, and bare, and I found no shelter. Oh, earth! How often did I curse the cause of my existence! My gentle nature had vanished, and all within me had turned to bitterness and anger. The closer I got to your home, the more I felt the fire of revenge growing in my heart. Snow fell, and the waters froze, but I didn’t stop. A few events here and there guided me, and I had a map of the area; yet I often strayed far from my route. The agony of my emotions gave me no break: there was no moment from which my rage and sorrow could not draw its strength; but a situation that occurred when I reached the borders of Switzerland, when the sun regained its warmth and the earth started to look green again, particularly confirmed the bitterness and horror of my feelings."
“I generally rested during the day, and travelled only when I was secured by night from the view of man. One morning, however, finding that my path lay through a deep wood, I ventured to continue my journey after the sun had risen; the day, which was one of the first of spring, cheered even me by the loveliness of its sunshine and the balminess of the air. I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, revive within me. Half surprised by the novelty of these sensations, I allowed myself to be borne away by them; and, forgetting my solitude and deformity, dared to be happy. Soft tears again bedewed my cheeks, and I even raised my humid eyes with thankfulness towards the blessed sun which bestowed such joy upon me.
“I usually rested during the day and only traveled at night when I was out of sight of others. One morning, though, I found my path went through a dense forest, so I decided to continue my journey after sunrise. The day, one of the first of spring, lifted my spirits with its beautiful sunlight and the gentle warmth of the air. I felt feelings of kindness and joy that had long felt dead come alive within me. Surprised by these new sensations, I let myself be carried away by them; and, forgetting my loneliness and imperfections, I dared to be happy. Soft tears filled my eyes again, and I even looked up with gratitude towards the blessed sun that brought me such joy.”
“I continued to wind among the paths of the wood, until I came to its boundary, which was skirted by a deep and rapid river, into which many of the trees bent their branches, now budding with the fresh spring. Here I paused, not exactly knowing what path to pursue, when I heard the sound of voices, that induced me to conceal myself under the shade of a cypress. I was scarcely hid, when a young girl came running towards the spot where I was concealed, laughing as if she ran from some one in sport. She continued her course along the precipitous sides of the river, when suddenly her foot slipt, and she fell into the rapid stream. I rushed from my hiding-place, and, with extreme labour from the force of the current, saved her, and dragged her to shore. She was senseless; and I endeavoured, by every means in my power, to restore animation, when I was suddenly interrupted by the approach of a rustic, who was probably the person from whom she had playfully fled. On seeing me, he darted towards me, and, tearing the girl from my arms, hastened towards the deeper parts of the wood. I followed speedily, I hardly knew why; but when the man saw me draw near, he aimed a gun, which he carried, at my body, and fired. I sunk to the ground, and my injurer, with increased swiftness, escaped into the wood.
I kept wandering through the paths of the woods until I reached its edge, where a deep and fast-flowing river ran alongside, and many of the trees leaned their branches toward it, now budding with the freshness of spring. I stopped here, unsure of which path to take, when I heard voices that made me hide under the shade of a cypress tree. I had barely concealed myself when a young girl came running toward me, laughing as if she were playing a game. She ran along the steep riverbank, but suddenly lost her footing and fell into the rushing water. I rushed out from my hiding place and, with great effort against the current, managed to save her and pull her to the shore. She was unconscious, and I did everything I could to revive her, but then I was interrupted by the approach of a young man, who was probably the person she had been playfully escaping from. When he saw me, he ran toward me, wrenched the girl from my arms, and hurried into the deeper part of the woods. I followed quickly, not completely sure why I was doing so, but when the man noticed me getting closer, he aimed his gun at me and fired. I collapsed to the ground, and the man, moving even faster, disappeared into the woods.
“This was then the reward of my benevolence! I had saved a human being from destruction, and, as a recompense, I now writhed under the miserable pain of a wound, which shattered the flesh and bone. The feelings of kindness and gentleness, which I had entertained but a few moments before, gave place to hellish rage and gnashing of teeth. Inflamed by pain, I vowed eternal hatred and vengeance to all mankind. But the agony of my wound overcame me; my pulses paused, and I fainted.
“This was the reward for my kindness! I had saved a life from destruction, and in return, I now suffered from the excruciating pain of a wound that shattered flesh and bone. The feelings of compassion and gentleness I had just moments ago were replaced by overwhelming rage and anguish. Consumed by pain, I swore eternal hatred and revenge against all of humanity. But the agony of my wound overwhelmed me; my heart slowed, and I passed out.
“For some weeks I led a miserable life in the woods, endeavouring to cure the wound which I had received. The ball had entered my shoulder, and I knew not whether it had remained there or passed through; at any rate I had no means of extracting it. My sufferings were augmented also by the oppressive sense of the injustice and ingratitude of their infliction. My daily vows rose for revenge—a deep and deadly revenge, such as would alone compensate for the outrages and anguish I had endured.
“For several weeks, I lived a miserable life in the woods, trying to heal the wound I had received. The bullet had entered my shoulder, and I didn't know if it was still there or had passed through; either way, I had no way to remove it. My suffering was made worse by the heavy feeling of injustice and ingratitude for what had happened to me. Every day, I vowed for revenge—a deep and deadly revenge, the only thing that could make up for the wrongs and pain I had suffered.”
“After some weeks my wound healed, and I continued my journey. The labours I endured were no longer to be alleviated by the bright sun or gentle breezes of spring; all joy was but a mockery, which insulted my desolate state, and made me feel more painfully that I was not made for the enjoyment of pleasure.
“After a few weeks, my wound healed, and I went on with my journey. The hard work I faced could no longer be eased by the bright sun or the gentle breezes of spring; all joy felt like a cruel joke that mocked my loneliness and made me more acutely aware that I wasn't meant for pleasure.”
“But my toils now drew near a close; and, two months from this time, I reached the environs of Geneva.
“But my struggles were almost over; and, two months from now, I reached the outskirts of Geneva.
“It was evening when I arrived, and I retired to a hiding-place among the fields that surround it, to meditate in what manner I should apply to you. I was oppressed by fatigue and hunger, and far too unhappy to enjoy the gentle breezes of evening, or the prospect of the sun setting behind the stupendous mountains of Jura.
“It was evening when I arrived, and I found a hiding spot among the fields that surrounded it to think about how I should approach you. I was worn out from exhaustion and hunger, and way too miserable to appreciate the soft evening breezes or the view of the sun setting behind the amazing Jura mountains.”
“At this time a slight sleep relieved me from the pain of reflection, which was disturbed by the approach of a beautiful child, who came running into the recess I had chosen with all the sportiveness of infancy. Suddenly, as I gazed on him, an idea seized me, that this little creature was unprejudiced, and had lived too short a time to have imbibed a horror of deformity. If, therefore, I could seize him, and educate him as my companion and friend, I should not be so desolate in this peopled earth.
“At that moment, a brief nap took me away from my painful thoughts, interrupted by the arrival of a beautiful child who came running into the space I had picked, full of the playful energy of youth. Suddenly, as I looked at him, it struck me that this little one was unbiased and had been alive for such a short time that he hadn’t yet developed a dislike for ugliness. So, if I could take him and raise him as my companion and friend, I wouldn’t feel so alone in this crowded world.”
“Urged by this impulse, I seized on the boy as he passed, and drew him towards me. As soon as he beheld my form, he placed his hands before his eyes, and uttered a shrill scream: I drew his hand forcibly from his face, and said, ‘Child, what is the meaning of this? I do not intend to hurt you; listen to me.’
“Driven by this urge, I grabbed the boy as he walked by and pulled him closer. As soon as he saw me, he covered his eyes with his hands and let out a loud scream. I forcefully pulled his hand from his face and said, ‘Kid, what’s going on? I don’t want to hurt you; just listen to me.’”
“He struggled violently; ‘Let me go,’ he cried; ‘monster! ugly wretch! you wish to eat me, and tear me to pieces—You are an ogre—Let me go, or I will tell my papa.’
“He struggled fiercely; ‘Let me go,’ he shouted; ‘monster! ugly creep! you want to eat me and tear me apart—You’re an ogre—Let me go, or I’ll tell my dad.’”
“‘Boy, you will never see your father again; you must come with me.’
“‘Kid, you’re never going to see your dad again; you have to come with me.’”
“‘Hideous monster! let me go; My papa is a Syndic—he is M. Frankenstein—he would punish you. You dare not keep me.’
“‘Hideous monster! Let me go; my dad is a Syndic—he’s M. Frankenstein—he would punish you. You wouldn’t dare keep me.’”
“‘Frankenstein! you belong then to my enemy—to him towards whom I have sworn eternal revenge; you shall be my first victim.’
“‘Frankenstein! You belong to my enemy—the one I’ve sworn to take eternal revenge against; you will be my first victim.’”
“The child still struggled, and loaded me with epithets which carried despair to my heart: I grasped his throat to silence him, and in a moment he lay dead at my feet.
“The child still struggled and hurled insults at me that filled my heart with despair: I grabbed his throat to silence him, and in an instant, he lay dead at my feet.”
“I gazed on my victim, and my heart swelled with exultation and hellish triumph: clapping my hands, I exclaimed, ‘I, too, can create desolation; my enemy is not impregnable; this death will carry despair to him, and a thousand other miseries shall torment and destroy him.’
“I looked at my victim, and my heart filled with excitement and wicked triumph: clapping my hands, I shouted, ‘I, too, can bring ruin; my enemy is not invincible; this death will bring him despair, and a thousand other sorrows will torment and destroy him.’”
“As I fixed my eyes on the child, I saw something glittering on his breast. I took it; it was a portrait of a most lovely woman. In spite of my malignity, it softened and attracted me. For a few moments I gazed with delight on her dark eyes, fringed by deep lashes, and her lovely lips; but presently my rage returned: I remembered that I was for ever deprived of the delights that such beautiful creatures could bestow; and that she whose resemblance I contemplated would, in regarding me, have changed that air of divine benignity to one expressive of disgust and affright.
As I looked at the child, I noticed something shiny on his chest. I took it; it was a picture of a beautiful woman. Despite my anger, it captivated me. For a moment, I admired her dark eyes, fringed with long lashes, and her lovely lips; but soon my rage came back: I remembered that I would always be deprived of the joys that such beautiful beings could offer; and the woman whose likeness I was looking at would, if she saw me, have turned her look of divine kindness into one of disgust and fear.
“Can you wonder that such thoughts transported me with rage? I only wonder that at that moment, instead of venting my sensations in exclamations and agony, I did not rush among mankind, and perish in the attempt to destroy them.
“Can you believe that such thoughts filled me with rage? I’m surprised that instead of expressing my emotions through shouts and pain, I didn’t run out among people and die trying to destroy them.
“While I was overcome by these feelings, I left the spot where I had committed the murder, and was seeking a more secluded hiding-place, when I perceived a woman passing near me. She was young, not indeed so beautiful as her whose portrait I held, but of an agreeable aspect, and blooming in the loveliness of youth and health. Here, I thought, is one of those whose smiles are bestowed on all but me; she shall not escape: thanks to the lessons of Felix, and the sanguinary laws of man, I have learned how to work mischief. I approached her unperceived, and placed the portrait securely in one of the folds of her dress.
“While I was overwhelmed by these feelings, I left the spot where I had committed the murder and was looking for a more secluded hiding place when I noticed a woman passing by. She was young, not quite as beautiful as the one in the portrait I held, but she had a pleasant appearance and radiated the beauty of youth and health. Here, I thought, is one of those whose smiles are given to everyone but me; she won't get away: thanks to the lessons from Felix and the brutal laws of man, I have learned how to cause harm. I approached her unnoticed and carefully tucked the portrait into one of the folds of her dress.
“For some days I haunted the spot where these scenes had taken place; sometimes wishing to see you, sometimes resolved to quit the world and its miseries for ever. At length I wandered towards these mountains, and have ranged through their immense recesses, consumed by a burning passion which you alone can gratify. We may not part until you have promised to comply with my requisition. I am alone, and miserable; man will not associate with me; but one as deformed and horrible as myself would not deny herself to me. My companion must be of the same species, and have the same defects. This being you must create.”
“For several days, I lingered at the place where these events happened; sometimes hoping to see you, sometimes determined to leave the world and its sorrows behind forever. Eventually, I made my way toward these mountains and have roamed their vast spaces, consumed by an intense desire that only you can fulfill. We cannot part until you have agreed to my request. I am alone and miserable; no one wants to be with me; but someone just as deformed and terrifying as I am wouldn't refuse me. My companion must be of the same kind and share the same flaws. This being you must create.”
CHAPTER IX.
The being finished speaking, and fixed his looks upon me in expectation of a reply. But I was bewildered, perplexed, and unable to arrange my ideas sufficiently to understand the full extent of his proposition. He continued—
The being finished speaking and fixed his gaze on me, waiting for a response. But I was confused, troubled, and unable to organize my thoughts enough to grasp the full meaning of his proposal. He went on—
“You must create a female for me, with whom I can live in the interchange of those sympathies necessary for my being. This you alone can do; and I demand it of you as a right which you must not refuse.”
“You have to create a woman for me, someone I can connect with in the way that I need to exist. Only you can do this; and I demand it from you as a right that you can't deny.”
The latter part of his tale had kindled anew in me the anger that had died away while he narrated his peaceful life among the cottagers, and, as he said this, I could no longer suppress the rage that burned within me.
The later part of his story reignited the anger that had faded while he shared his peaceful life with the cottage residents, and as he said this, I could no longer hold back the fury that was burning inside me.
“I do refuse it,” I replied; “and no torture shall ever extort a consent from me. You may render me the most miserable of men, but you shall never make me base in my own eyes. Shall I create another like yourself, whose joint wickedness might desolate the world. Begone! I have answered you; you may torture me, but I will never consent.”
"I refuse," I said. "No amount of torture will ever make me agree. You can make me the most miserable person alive, but you will never make me feel worthless. Am I supposed to create another like you, whose combined evil could ruin the world? Go away! I've given you my answer; you can torture me, but I will never agree."
“You are in the wrong,” replied the fiend; “and, instead of threatening, I am content to reason with you. I am malicious because I am miserable; am I not shunned and hated by all mankind? You, my creator, would tear me to pieces, and triumph; remember that, and tell me why I should pity man more than he pities me? You would not call it murder, if you could precipitate me into one of those ice-rifts, and destroy my frame, the work of your own hands. Shall I respect man, when he contemns me? Let him live with me in the interchange of kindness, and, instead of injury, I would bestow every benefit upon him with tears of gratitude at his acceptance. But that cannot be; the human senses are insurmountable barriers to our union. Yet mine shall not be the submission of abject slavery. I will revenge my injuries: if I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear; and chiefly towards you my arch-enemy, because my creator, do I swear inextinguishable hatred. Have a care: I will work at your destruction, nor finish until I desolate your heart, so that you curse the hour of your birth.”
“You're wrong,” the creature said. “Instead of threatening you, I’d rather talk this out. I’m evil because I’m unhappy; am I not avoided and hated by everyone? You, my creator, would rip me apart and celebrate; remember that, and tell me why I should feel sorry for humans more than they feel sorry for me? You wouldn’t call it murder if you pushed me into one of those ice crevices and shattered my body, the result of your own hands. Why should I respect humans when they look down on me? If they lived with me in kindness, instead of harm, I would shower them with benefits and be grateful for their acceptance. But that’s impossible; human senses are unbridgeable barriers to our connection. Still, I won’t accept a life of miserable slavery. I will take revenge for my wrongs: if I can’t inspire love, I’ll inspire fear; and especially towards you, my greatest enemy, my creator, I swear eternal hatred. Beware: I will work towards your destruction and won’t stop until I’ve devastated your heart, so that you curse the day you were born.”
A fiendish rage animated him as he said this; his face was wrinkled into contortions too horrible for human eyes to behold; but presently he calmed himself, and proceeded—
A wicked anger drove him as he said this; his face twisted into shapes too terrible for anyone to look at; but soon he composed himself and continued—
“I intended to reason. This passion is detrimental to me; for you do not reflect that you are the cause of its excess. If any being felt emotions of benevolence towards me, I should return them an hundred and an hundred fold; for that one creature’s sake, I would make peace with the whole kind! But I now indulge in dreams of bliss that cannot be realized. What I ask of you is reasonable and moderate; I demand a creature of another sex, but as hideous as myself: the gratification is small, but it is all that I can receive, and it shall content me. It is true, we shall be monsters, cut off from all the world; but on that account we shall be more attached to one another. Our lives will not be happy, but they will be harmless, and free from the misery I now feel. Oh! my creator, make me happy; let me feel gratitude towards you for one benefit! Let me see that I excite the sympathy of some existing thing; do not deny me my request!”
“I wanted to think this through. This passion is harmful to me because you don’t realize that you’re the reason for its intensity. If any being felt kindness toward me, I would return it a hundred times over; just for that one being, I would make peace with everyone! But now I’m lost in dreams of happiness that can’t come true. What I’m asking of you is fair and reasonable; I just want a mate of the opposite sex, but as ugly as I am: the pleasure is minimal, but it’s all I can hope for, and it’ll satisfy me. It’s true, we’ll be monsters, cut off from the world; but because of that, we’ll be closer to each other. Our lives won’t be happy, but they’ll be harmless and free from the pain I feel now. Oh! my creator, make me happy; let me feel thankful to you for just one gift! Let me see that I stir some compassion in a living being; don’t deny my request!”
I was moved. I shuddered when I thought of the possible consequences of my consent; but I felt that there was some justice in his argument. His tale, and the feelings he now expressed, proved him to be a creature of fine sensations; and did I not, as his maker, owe him all the portion of happiness that it was in my power to bestow? He saw my change of feeling, and continued—
I was touched. I shivered when I considered the potential outcomes of my agreement; but I sensed that there was some truth in what he was saying. His story, along with the emotions he now shared, showed him to be a being of deep feelings; and didn’t I, as his creator, owe him every bit of happiness that I could give? He noticed my shift in emotions and continued—
“If you consent, neither you nor any other human being shall ever see us again: I will go to the vast wilds of South America. My food is not that of man; I do not destroy the lamb and the kid, to glut my appetite; acorns and berries afford me sufficient nourishment. My companion will be of the same nature as myself, and will be content with the same fare. We shall make our bed of dried leaves; the sun will shine on us as on man, and will ripen our food. The picture I present to you is peaceful and human, and you must feel that you could deny it only in the wantonness of power and cruelty. Pitiless as you have been towards me, I now see compassion in your eyes: let me seize the favourable moment, and persuade you to promise what I so ardently desire.”
“If you agree, neither you nor anyone else will ever see us again: I will go to the vast wilds of South America. I don’t eat food meant for humans; I don’t kill sheep or goats to satisfy my hunger; acorns and berries provide me with enough nourishment. My companion will be like me and will be happy with the same diet. We’ll make our bed from dried leaves; the sun will shine on us just like it does on humans, ripening our food. The image I’m showing you is peaceful and humane, and you must understand that you could only deny it out of sheer cruelty and desire for power. Despite how merciless you’ve been towards me, I now see compassion in your eyes: let me seize this opportunity and convince you to promise what I desperately wish for.”
“You propose,” replied I, “to fly from the habitations of man, to dwell in those wilds where the beasts of the field will be your only companions. How can you, who long for the love and sympathy of man, persevere in this exile? You will return, and again seek their kindness, and you will meet with their detestation; your evil passions will be renewed, and you will then have a companion to aid you in the task of destruction. This may not be; cease to argue the point, for I cannot consent.”
“You're suggesting,” I replied, “that you want to escape from human society and live in the wilderness where wild animals will be your only friends. How can you, who crave love and understanding from people, endure this isolation? You will eventually come back and try to gain their affection, but you’ll face their rejection; your negative feelings will resurface, and you’ll find a partner to help you in your destructive pursuits. This cannot happen; stop trying to convince me, because I won’t agree.”
“How inconstant are your feelings! but a moment ago you were moved by my representations, and why do you again harden yourself to my complaints? I swear to you, by the earth which I inhabit, and by you that made me, that, with the companion you bestow, I will quit the neighbourhood of man, and dwell, as it may chance, in the most savage of places. My evil passions will have fled, for I shall meet with sympathy; my life will flow quietly away, and, in my dying moments, I shall not curse my maker.”
“How fickle are your feelings! Just a moment ago, you were touched by what I said, and now why are you closing yourself off to my pleas? I swear to you, by the earth I live on and by you who created me, that with the companion you give me, I will leave the company of people and live, wherever it may be, in the wildest of places. My bad feelings will vanish because I will find understanding; my life will pass peacefully, and in my last moments, I won't curse my creator.”
His words had a strange effect upon me. I compassionated him, and sometimes felt a wish to console him; but when I looked upon him, when I saw the filthy mass that moved and talked, my heart sickened, and my feelings were altered to those of horror and hatred. I tried to stifle these sensations; I thought, that as I could not sympathize with him, I had no right to withhold from him the small portion of happiness which was yet in my power to bestow.
His words had a strange effect on me. I felt sorry for him, and sometimes I wanted to comfort him; but when I looked at him, when I saw the disgusting figure that moved and spoke, my heart turned, and my feelings shifted to horror and hatred. I tried to suppress these feelings; I thought that since I couldn't empathize with him, I had no right to deny him the small bit of happiness that I could still give.
“You swear,” I said, “to be harmless; but have you not already shewn a degree of malice that should reasonably make me distrust you? May not even this be a feint that will increase your triumph by affording a wider scope for your revenge?”
“You swear,” I said, “to be harmless; but haven’t you already shown a level of malice that should make me distrust you? Could this even be a trick to let you enjoy a bigger victory by giving you more room for your revenge?”
“How is this? I thought I had moved your compassion, and yet you still refuse to bestow on me the only benefit that can soften my heart, and render me harmless. If I have no ties and no affections, hatred and vice must be my portion; the love of another will destroy the cause of my crimes, and I shall become a thing, of whose existence every one will be ignorant. My vices are the children of a forced solitude that I abhor; and my virtues will necessarily arise when I live in communion with an equal. I shall feel the affections of a sensitive being, and become linked to the chain of existence and events, from which I am now excluded.”
“How is this possible? I thought I had moved you to compassion, yet you still refuse to give me the one thing that could soften my heart and make me harmless. Without connections or emotions, I’m left with only hatred and wrongdoing; the love of someone else would eliminate the reasons for my crimes, and I would turn into a person no one even knows exists. My wrongdoings are the result of a forced isolation that I despise; my true virtues will emerge when I share my life with someone equal to me. I will feel the emotions of a sensitive being and become part of the ongoing cycle of existence and events, from which I am now shut out.”
I paused some time to reflect on all he had related, and the various arguments which he had employed. I thought of the promise of virtues which he had displayed on the opening of his existence, and the subsequent blight of all kindly feeling by the loathing and scorn which his protectors had manifested towards him. His power and threats were not omitted in my calculations: a creature who could exist in the ice caves of the glaciers, and hide himself from pursuit among the ridges of inaccessible precipices, was a being possessing faculties it would be vain to cope with. After a long pause of reflection, I concluded, that the justice due both to him and my fellow-creatures demanded of me that I should comply with his request. Turning to him, therefore, I said—
I took a moment to think about everything he had shared and the various arguments he had used. I remembered the promise of good character he showed at the beginning of his life and how all that had been ruined by the hatred and disdain his protectors had shown him. I also considered his strength and threats: someone who could survive in the icy caves of glaciers and hide from pursuit in the steep cliffs had abilities that would be pointless to challenge. After a long pause for thought, I realized that the fairness owed to him and my fellow humans required me to agree to his request. So, I turned to him and said—
“I consent to your demand, on your solemn oath to quit Europe for ever, and every other place in the neighbourhood of man, as soon as I shall deliver into your hands a female who will accompany you in your exile.”
“I agree to your request, based on your serious promise to leave Europe for good, and any other place where people are, as soon as I hand over a woman who will go with you into exile.”
“I swear,” he cried, “by the sun, and by the blue sky of heaven, that if you grant my prayer, while they exist you shall never behold me again. Depart to your home, and commence your labours: I shall watch their progress with unutterable anxiety; and fear not but that when you are ready I shall appear.”
“I swear,” he shouted, “by the sun and the blue sky above, that if you grant my wish, you’ll never see me again while they’re around. Go home and start your work: I’ll watch their progress with endless worry; and don’t worry, when you’re ready, I’ll show up.”
Saying this, he suddenly quitted me, fearful, perhaps, of any change in my sentiments. I saw him descend the mountain with greater speed than the flight of an eagle, and quickly lost him among the undulations of the sea of ice.
Saying this, he suddenly left me, possibly afraid of any shift in my feelings. I watched him descend the mountain faster than an eagle flies, and soon lost sight of him among the waves of the sea of ice.
His tale had occupied the whole day; and the sun was upon the verge of the horizon when he departed. I knew that I ought to hasten my descent towards the valley, as I should soon be encompassed in darkness; but my heart was heavy, and my steps slow. The labour of winding among the little paths of the mountains, and fixing my feet firmly as I advanced, perplexed me, occupied as I was by the emotions which the occurrences of the day had produced. Night was far advanced, when I came to the half-way resting-place, and seated myself beside the fountain. The stars shone at intervals, as the clouds passed from over them; the dark pines rose before me, and every here and there a broken tree lay on the ground: it was a scene of wonderful solemnity, and stirred strange thoughts within me. I wept bitterly; and, clasping my hands in agony, I exclaimed, “Oh! stars, and clouds, and winds, ye are all about to mock me: if ye really pity me, crush sensation and memory; let me become as nought; but if not, depart, depart and leave me in darkness.”
His story had taken up the whole day; and the sun was just about to set when he left. I knew I should hurry down to the valley, as darkness would soon surround me; but my heart was heavy, and my steps slow. The effort of navigating the winding mountain paths and keeping my footing was challenging, especially with the emotions from the day's events weighing on me. It was already late at night when I reached the halfway resting spot and sat beside the fountain. The stars peeked out as the clouds drifted away; the dark pines loomed before me, and here and there a fallen tree lay on the ground: it was a scene of incredible solemnity that stirred strange thoughts within me. I wept bitterly; and, clasping my hands in despair, I cried out, “Oh! stars, and clouds, and winds, you are all about to mock me: if you truly pity me, erase my feelings and memories; let me become nothing; but if not, go away, go away and leave me in darkness.”
These were wild and miserable thoughts; but I cannot describe to you how the eternal twinkling of the stars weighed upon me, and how I listened to every blast of wind, as if it were a dull ugly siroc on its way to consume me.
These were chaotic and heartbreaking thoughts; but I can't explain how the constant shimmering of the stars pressed down on me, and how I paid attention to every gust of wind, as if it were a dull, harsh sirocco coming to destroy me.
Morning dawned before I arrived at the village of Chamounix; but my presence, so haggard and strange, hardly calmed the fears of my family, who had waited the whole night in anxious expectation of my return.
Morning broke before I got to the village of Chamounix, but my appearance, so worn and unusual, did little to ease the worries of my family, who had spent the whole night anxiously waiting for me to come back.
The following day we returned to Geneva. The intention of my father in coming had been to divert my mind, and to restore me to my lost tranquillity; but the medicine had been fatal. And, unable to account for the excess of misery I appeared to suffer, he hastened to return home, hoping the quiet and monotony of a domestic life would by degrees alleviate my sufferings from whatsoever cause they might spring.
The next day, we went back to Geneva. My father's purpose in coming was to distract me and help me regain my lost peace of mind, but the attempt had backfired. Unable to understand the depth of my misery, he rushed to head home, hoping that the calm and routine of everyday life would gradually ease my pain, no matter what was causing it.
For myself, I was passive in all their arrangements; and the gentle affection of my beloved Elizabeth was inadequate to draw me from the depth of my despair. The promise I had made to the dæmon weighed upon my mind, like Dante’s iron cowl on the heads of the hellish hypocrites. All pleasures of earth and sky passed before me like a dream, and that thought only had to me the reality of life. Can you wonder, that sometimes a kind of insanity possessed me, or that I saw continually about me a multitude of filthy animals inflicting on me incessant torture, that often extorted screams and bitter groans?
For me, I was just going along with all their plans; and the gentle love of my dear Elizabeth wasn’t enough to pull me out of the depths of my despair. The promise I had made to the demon weighed heavily on my mind, like Dante’s iron mask on the heads of the hypocrites in hell. All the joys of the earth and sky passed by me like a dream, and that thought was the only thing that felt real. Can you blame me for sometimes feeling a kind of madness, or for seeing a crowd of filthy creatures around me, constantly torturing me, often making me scream and groan in pain?
By degrees, however, these feelings became calmed. I entered again into the every-day scene of life, if not with interest, at least with some degree of tranquillity.
By degrees, however, these feelings became calmer. I reentered the everyday scene of life, if not with interest, at least with some level of peace.

FRANKENSTEIN;
OR,
THE MODERN PROMETHEUS.
IN THREE VOLUMES.
VOL. III.
IN THREE VOLUMES.
VOL. 3.
Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay
To mould me man? Did I solicit thee
From darkness to promote me?——
Did I ask you, Creator, from my clay
To shape me into a man? Did I urge you
From darkness to bring me to light?——
Paradise Lost.
Paradise Lost.
London:
PRINTED FOR
LACKINGTON, HUGHES, HARDING, MAVOR, & JONES,
FINSBURY SQUARE.
London:
PRINTED FOR
LACKINGTON, HUGHES, HARDING, MAVOR, & JONES,
FINSBURY SQUARE.
1818.
1818.
CHAPTER I.
Day after day, week after week, passed away on my return to Geneva; and I could not collect the courage to recommence my work. I feared the vengeance of the disappointed fiend, yet I was unable to overcome my repugnance to the task which was enjoined me. I found that I could not compose a female without again devoting several months to profound study and laborious disquisition. I had heard of some discoveries having been made by an English philosopher, the knowledge of which was material to my success, and I sometimes thought of obtaining my father’s consent to visit England for this purpose; but I clung to every pretence of delay, and could not resolve to interrupt my returning tranquillity. My health, which had hitherto declined, was now much restored; and my spirits, when unchecked by the memory of my unhappy promise, rose proportionably. My father saw this change with pleasure, and he turned his thoughts towards the best method of eradicating the remains of my melancholy, which every now and then would return by fits, and with a devouring blackness overcast the approaching sunshine. At these moments I took refuge in the most perfect solitude. I passed whole days on the lake alone in a little boat, watching the clouds, and listening to the rippling of the waves, silent and listless. But the fresh air and bright sun seldom failed to restore me to some degree of composure; and, on my return, I met the salutations of my friends with a readier smile and a more cheerful heart.
Day after day, week after week, went by after I got back to Geneva, and I couldn’t gather the courage to start my work again. I was afraid of the revenge of the disappointed creature, yet I couldn’t shake my disgust at the task I was given. I realized that I could not create a female without spending several months on deep study and hard research again. I had heard about some discoveries made by an English philosopher that were crucial for my success, and I sometimes thought about getting my dad’s approval to visit England for this purpose; but I held onto every excuse to delay, unable to bring myself to disrupt my returning peace. My health, which had been declining, was now much improved; and my spirits, when not weighed down by the memory of my unhappy promise, lifted accordingly. My father noticed this change with pleasure, and he started thinking about the best way to eliminate the remnants of my melancholy, which would occasionally return, casting a dark shadow over the approaching sunshine. In those moments, I found refuge in complete solitude. I spent entire days on the lake alone in a small boat, watching the clouds and listening to the gentle waves, silent and unbothered. But the fresh air and bright sun usually managed to bring me back to some level of calm; and upon my return, I greeted my friends with a more genuine smile and a lighter heart.
It was after my return from one of these rambles that my father, calling me aside, thus addressed me:—
It was after I got back from one of these walks that my dad pulled me aside and said:—
“I am happy to remark, my dear son, that you have resumed your former pleasures, and seem to be returning to yourself. And yet you are still unhappy, and still avoid our society. For some time I was lost in conjecture as to the cause of this; but yesterday an idea struck me, and if it is well founded, I conjure you to avow it. Reserve on such a point would be not only useless, but draw down treble misery on us all.”
“I’m glad to say, my dear son, that you’ve started to enjoy your old pleasures again and seem to be finding yourself. However, you’re still unhappy and continue to keep your distance from us. For a while, I was puzzled about the reason for this, but yesterday I had a thought, and if it’s correct, I urge you to admit it. Keeping silent about this would not only be pointless but would also bring even more misery to all of us.”
I trembled violently at this exordium, and my father continued—
I shook with fear at this beginning, and my father went on—
“I confess, my son, that I have always looked forward to your marriage with your cousin as the tie of our domestic comfort, and the stay of my declining years. You were attached to each other from your earliest infancy; you studied together, and appeared, in dispositions and tastes, entirely suited to one another. But so blind is the experience of man, that what I conceived to be the best assistants to my plan may have entirely destroyed it. You, perhaps, regard her as your sister, without any wish that she might become your wife. Nay, you may have met with another whom you may love; and, considering yourself as bound in honour to your cousin, this struggle may occasion the poignant misery which you appear to feel.”
“I admit, my son, that I’ve always looked forward to your marriage with your cousin as the foundation of our family happiness and the support during my later years. You two were close from a young age; you studied together, and it seemed like your personalities and interests were perfectly matched. But human experience is often blind, and what I thought would help my plans may have completely undermined them. You might see her as a sister, with no desire for her to be your wife. In fact, you may have found someone else you love; feeling obligated to your cousin could lead to the deep pain you seem to be experiencing.”
“My dear father, re-assure yourself. I love my cousin tenderly and sincerely. I never saw any woman who excited, as Elizabeth does, my warmest admiration and affection. My future hopes and prospects are entirely bound up in the expectation of our union.”
“My dear father, please put your mind at ease. I love my cousin deeply and genuinely. I’ve never met a woman who stirs my greatest admiration and affection like Elizabeth does. My future hopes and dreams are completely tied to the expectation of us being together.”
“The expression of your sentiments on this subject, my dear Victor, gives me more pleasure than I have for some time experienced. If you feel thus, we shall assuredly be happy, however present events may cast a gloom over us. But it is this gloom, which appears to have taken so strong a hold of your mind, that I wish to dissipate. Tell me, therefore, whether you object to an immediate solemnization of the marriage. We have been unfortunate, and recent events have drawn us from that every-day tranquillity befitting my years and infirmities. You are younger; yet I do not suppose, possessed as you are of a competent fortune, that an early marriage would at all interfere with any future plans of honour and utility that you may have formed. Do not suppose, however, that I wish to dictate happiness to you, or that a delay on your part would cause me any serious uneasiness. Interpret my words with candour, and answer me, I conjure you, with confidence and sincerity.”
“The way you express your feelings about this, my dear Victor, brings me more joy than I’ve felt in a while. If you feel this way, we will certainly be happy, no matter how dark things seem right now. But it’s this darkness, which seems to have a strong grip on your mind, that I want to lighten. So, please tell me if you’re against having our wedding right away. We’ve faced hardships, and recent events have pulled us away from the usual calmness that suits my age and health. You’re younger; however, I don’t think that marrying soon would disrupt any honorable or useful plans you might have for the future, especially since you have a good fortune. But please don’t think that I want to dictate your happiness, or that if you want to wait it would truly worry me. Understand my words openly, and please respond with honesty and sincerity.”
I listened to my father in silence, and remained for some time incapable of offering any reply. I revolved rapidly in my mind a multitude of thoughts, and endeavoured to arrive at some conclusion. Alas! to me the idea of an immediate union with my cousin was one of horror and dismay. I was bound by a solemn promise, which I had not yet fulfilled, and dared not break; or, if I did, what manifold miseries might not impend over me and my devoted family! Could I enter into a festival with this deadly weight yet hanging round my neck, and bowing me to the ground. I must perform my engagement, and let the monster depart with his mate, before I allowed myself to enjoy the delight of an union from which I expected peace.
I listened to my father quietly and was unable to respond for a while. My mind raced with numerous thoughts as I tried to reach a conclusion. Unfortunately, the idea of marrying my cousin filled me with dread and anxiety. I was tied to a serious promise that I hadn’t fulfilled yet and couldn’t bring myself to break; besides, if I did, what terrible troubles might await me and my devoted family? How could I celebrate when I felt this heavy burden around my neck, weighing me down? I needed to keep my promise and let the monster go with his partner before I could allow myself to experience the joy of a union I hoped would bring me peace.
I remembered also the necessity imposed upon me of either journeying to England, or entering into a long correspondence with those philosophers of that country, whose knowledge and discoveries were of indispensable use to me in my present undertaking. The latter method of obtaining the desired intelligence was dilatory and unsatisfactory: besides, any variation was agreeable to me, and I was delighted with the idea of spending a year or two in change of scene and variety of occupation, in absence from my family; during which period some event might happen which would restore me to them in peace and happiness: my promise might be fulfilled, and the monster have departed; or some accident might occur to destroy him, and put an end to my slavery for ever.
I also remembered that I had to either travel to England or get into a long correspondence with the philosophers there, whose knowledge and discoveries were crucial for my current project. The second option for gathering the information I needed was slow and unsatisfying; besides, I was open to any change. I was excited about the idea of spending a year or two in a different environment and with new activities, away from my family. During that time, something might happen that would bring me back to them in peace and happiness: I could fulfill my promise, and the monster might be gone; or some accident could happen to destroy him and end my suffering forever.
These feelings dictated my answer to my father. I expressed a wish to visit England; but, concealing the true reasons of this request, I clothed my desires under the guise of wishing to travel and see the world before I sat down for life within the walls of my native town.
These feelings influenced my response to my father. I said I wanted to visit England; however, hiding the real reasons behind this request, I framed my desires as a wish to travel and explore the world before settling down for life in my hometown.
I urged my entreaty with earnestness, and my father was easily induced to comply; for a more indulgent and less dictatorial parent did not exist upon earth. Our plan was soon arranged. I should travel to Strasburgh, where Clerval would join me. Some short time would be spent in the towns of Holland, and our principal stay would be in England. We should return by France; and it was agreed that the tour should occupy the space of two years.
I passionately pressed my request, and my father was quick to agree; there wasn't a more lenient and less demanding parent anywhere. We quickly set our plan in motion. I would travel to Strasbourg, where Clerval would meet me. We would spend some time in the towns of Holland, and our main stop would be in England. We planned to return through France, and it was decided that the trip would take about two years.
My father pleased himself with the reflection, that my union with Elizabeth should take place immediately on my return to Geneva. “These two years,” said he, “will pass swiftly, and it will be the last delay that will oppose itself to your happiness. And, indeed, I earnestly desire that period to arrive, when we shall all be united, and neither hopes or fears arise to disturb our domestic calm.”
My father took comfort in the thought that my marriage to Elizabeth would happen right after I got back to Geneva. “These two years,” he said, “will fly by, and it will be the final obstacle to your happiness. I really look forward to that time when we’ll all be together, and no hopes or fears will disrupt our peace at home.”
“I am content,” I replied, “with your arrangement. By that time we shall both have become wiser, and I hope happier, than we at present are.” I sighed; but my father kindly forbore to question me further concerning the cause of my dejection. He hoped that new scenes, and the amusement of travelling, would restore my tranquillity.
“I’m fine,” I replied, “with your plan. By then, we should both be wiser, and I hope happier, than we are now.” I sighed, but my dad kindly didn’t ask me more about why I was feeling down. He hoped that new experiences and the excitement of traveling would help me feel better.
I now made arrangements for my journey; but one feeling haunted me, which filled me with fear and agitation. During my absence I should leave my friends unconscious of the existence of their enemy, and unprotected from his attacks, exasperated as he might be by my departure. But he had promised to follow me wherever I might go; and would he not accompany me to England? This imagination was dreadful in itself, but soothing, inasmuch as it supposed the safety of my friends. I was agonized with the idea of the possibility that the reverse of this might happen. But through the whole period during which I was the slave of my creature, I allowed myself to be governed by the impulses of the moment; and my present sensations strongly intimated that the fiend would follow me, and exempt my family from the danger of his machinations.
I started making plans for my journey, but one thought haunted me, filling me with fear and anxiety. While I was gone, my friends would be unaware of the enemy lurking in the shadows, unprotected from his potential attacks, especially since my departure might make him even angrier. But he had promised to follow me wherever I went; would he not come with me to England? This thought was terrifying, yet somewhat comforting because it suggested my friends would be safe. I was tortured by the idea that the opposite could occur. However, throughout the time I was the slave to my creation, I let myself be led by my immediate feelings; and right now, everything pointed to the fiend following me while sparing my family from the threat of his schemes.
It was in the latter end of August that I departed, to pass two years of exile. Elizabeth approved of the reasons of my departure, and only regretted that she had not the same opportunities of enlarging her experience, and cultivating her understanding. She wept, however, as she bade me farewell, and entreated me to return happy and tranquil. “We all,” said she, “depend upon you; and if you are miserable, what must be our feelings?”
It was towards the end of August when I left to spend two years in exile. Elizabeth understood my reasons for leaving and only wished she had the same chance to broaden her experience and enhance her understanding. Nevertheless, she cried as she said goodbye and begged me to come back happy and at peace. “We all,” she said, “count on you; and if you’re unhappy, how will we feel?”
I threw myself into the carriage that was to convey me away, hardly knowing whither I was going, and careless of what was passing around. I remembered only, and it was with a bitter anguish that I reflected on it, to order that my chemical instruments should be packed to go with me: for I resolved to fulfil my promise while abroad, and return, if possible, a free man. Filled with dreary imaginations, I passed through many beautiful and majestic scenes; but my eyes were fixed and unobserving. I could only think of the bourne of my travels, and the work which was to occupy me whilst they endured.
I jumped into the carriage that was supposed to take me away, barely aware of where I was going and indifferent to what was happening around me. The only thing I remembered, with a deep sense of sorrow, was to make sure my chemical instruments were packed to come with me: I had made a promise to myself to fulfill it while abroad and hoped to return, if possible, as a free man. Lost in bleak thoughts, I traveled through many beautiful and grand landscapes, but my gaze was distant and unseeing. All I could think about was the destination of my journey and the work I needed to focus on during the trip.
After some days spent in listless indolence, during which I traversed many leagues, I arrived at Strasburgh, where I waited two days for Clerval. He came. Alas, how great was the contrast between us! He was alive to every new scene; joyful when he saw the beauties of the setting sun, and more happy when he beheld it rise, and recommence a new day. He pointed out to me the shifting colours of the landscape, and the appearances of the sky. “This is what it is to live;” he cried, “now I enjoy existence! But you, my dear Frankenstein, wherefore are you desponding and sorrowful?” In truth, I was occupied by gloomy thoughts, and neither saw the descent of the evening star, nor the golden sun-rise reflected in the Rhine.—And you, my friend, would be far more amused with the journal of Clerval, who observed the scenery with an eye of feeling and delight, than to listen to my reflections. I, a miserable wretch, haunted by a curse that shut up every avenue to enjoyment.
After spending several days in aimless inactivity, during which I traveled many miles, I finally reached Strasbourg, where I waited two days for Clerval. When he arrived, the difference between us was striking! He was excited by every new sight, feeling joyful when he saw the beauty of the sunset and even happier when he witnessed the sunrise, starting a new day. He pointed out the changing colors of the landscape and the appearances in the sky. “This is what it means to live,” he exclaimed, “now I truly enjoy life! But you, my dear Frankenstein, why do you seem so down and sad?” The truth is, I was consumed by dark thoughts, and I didn’t notice the evening star setting or the golden sunrise reflected in the Rhine. And you, my friend, would find Clerval's journal far more entertaining, as he observed the scenery with a sense of feeling and joy, rather than listening to my thoughts. I, a miserable soul, was haunted by a curse that closed off every path to enjoyment.
We had agreed to descend the Rhine in a boat from Strasburgh to Rotterdam, whence we might take shipping for London. During this voyage, we passed by many willowy islands, and saw several beautiful towns. We staid a day at Manheim, and, on the fifth from our departure from Strasburgh, arrived at Mayence. The course of the Rhine below Mayence becomes much more picturesque. The river descends rapidly, and winds between hills, not high, but steep, and of beautiful forms. We saw many ruined castles standing on the edges of precipices, surrounded by black woods, high and inaccessible. This part of the Rhine, indeed, presents a singularly variegated landscape. In one spot you view rugged hills, ruined castles overlooking tremendous precipices, with the dark Rhine rushing beneath; and, on the sudden turn of a promontory, flourishing vineyards, with green sloping banks, and a meandering river, and populous towns, occupy the scene.
We had decided to travel down the Rhine in a boat from Strasbourg to Rotterdam, where we could catch a boat to London. During this journey, we passed by many tree-filled islands and saw several beautiful towns. We spent a day in Mannheim and, after five days since leaving Strasbourg, arrived in Mainz. The scenery of the Rhine below Mainz becomes much more picturesque. The river flows quickly, winding between hills that aren’t very high but are steep and beautifully shaped. We saw many ruined castles perched on the edges of cliffs, surrounded by dark, towering woods that were hard to reach. This section of the Rhine truly offers a strikingly diverse landscape. In one area, you see rugged hills, ruined castles perched over steep cliffs, with the dark Rhine rushing below; and with a sudden bend in the river, there are flourishing vineyards, gentle green slopes, a winding river, and bustling towns.
We travelled at the time of the vintage, and heard the song of the labourers, as we glided down the stream. Even I, depressed in mind, and my spirits continually agitated by gloomy feelings, even I was pleased. I lay at the bottom of the boat, and, as I gazed on the cloudless blue sky, I seemed to drink in a tranquillity to which I had long been a stranger. And if these were my sensations, who can describe those of Henry? He felt as if he had been transported to Fairy-land, and enjoyed a happiness seldom tasted by man. “I have seen,” he said, “the most beautiful scenes of my own country; I have visited the lakes of Lucerne and Uri, where the snowy mountains descend almost perpendicularly to the water, casting black and impenetrable shades, which would cause a gloomy and mournful appearance, were it not for the most verdant islands that relieve the eye by their gay appearance; I have seen this lake agitated by a tempest, when the wind tore up whirlwinds of water, and gave you an idea of what the water-spout must be on the great ocean, and the waves dash with fury the base of the mountain, where the priest and his mistress were overwhelmed by an avalanche, and where their dying voices are still said to be heard amid the pauses of the nightly wind; I have seen the mountains of La Valais, and the Pays de Vaud: but this country, Victor, pleases me more than all those wonders. The mountains of Switzerland are more majestic and strange; but there is a charm in the banks of this divine river, that I never before saw equalled. Look at that castle which overhangs yon precipice; and that also on the island, almost concealed amongst the foliage of those lovely trees; and now that group of labourers coming from among their vines; and that village half-hid in the recess of the mountain. Oh, surely, the spirit that inhabits and guards this place has a soul more in harmony with man, than those who pile the glacier, or retire to the inaccessible peaks of the mountains of our own country.”
We traveled during the harvest season and heard the songs of the laborers as we floated down the stream. Even I, feeling down and my emotions constantly stirred by gloomy thoughts, found pleasure in it. I lay at the bottom of the boat, and as I looked at the clear blue sky, I felt a calmness that I hadn’t experienced in a long time. And if I felt this way, what must Henry have been feeling? He felt as if he had been taken to a magical land, experiencing a joy that few people ever know. “I have seen,” he said, “the most beautiful places in my own country; I’ve visited the lakes of Lucerne and Uri, where the snowy mountains rise almost straight up from the water, casting dark and impenetrable shadows that would make everything seem gloomy if it weren’t for the bright green islands that catch the eye; I’ve seen this lake churning in a storm, when the wind whipped up whirlpools of water, giving you a taste of what a waterspout must be like on the great ocean, as the waves crash violently against the mountains, where the priest and his lover were crushed by an avalanche, and where their dying voices are still said to be heard in the silences between the nighttime winds; I’ve seen the mountains of La Valais and the Pays de Vaud; but this place, Victor, is more beautiful than all those wonders. The mountains of Switzerland are more majestic and strange, but there’s a beauty along the shores of this divine river that I’ve never seen matched before. Look at that castle perched on the cliff; and that one on the island, almost hidden among the beautiful trees; and now that group of workers coming from their vineyards; and that village half-hidden in the mountainside. Oh, surely, the spirit that lives here is more in tune with humanity than those who navigate the glaciers or retreat to the unreachable peaks of our own mountains.”
Clerval! beloved friend! even now it delights me to record your words, and to dwell on the praise of which you are so eminently deserving. He was a being formed in the “very poetry of nature.” His wild and enthusiastic imagination was chastened by the sensibility of his heart. His soul overflowed with ardent affections, and his friendship was of that devoted and wondrous nature that the worldly-minded teach us to look for only in the imagination. But even human sympathies were not sufficient to satisfy his eager mind. The scenery of external nature, which others regard only with admiration, he loved with ardour:
Clerval! dear friend! even now it makes me happy to write down your words and to think about the praise you truly deserve. He was a person created in the “very poetry of nature.” His wild and passionate imagination was tempered by the sensitivity of his heart. His soul was filled with deep emotions, and his friendship was so devoted and extraordinary that the practical-minded teach us to expect it only in our imagination. But even human connections weren’t enough to satisfy his restless mind. He loved the beauty of the natural world with a passion that others only admire:
The mountain and the dark, foreboding forest,
Their colors and their shapes were then to him A craving; an emotion, and an affection,
That didn't require a distant charm,
By thought provided, or any interest Unborrowed from the eye.
And where does he now exist? Is this gentle and lovely being lost for ever? Has this mind so replete with ideas, imaginations fanciful and magnificent, which formed a world, whose existence depended on the life of its creator; has this mind perished? Does it now only exist in my memory? No, it is not thus; your form so divinely wrought, and beaming with beauty, has decayed, but your spirit still visits and consoles your unhappy friend.
And where is he now? Is this gentle and lovely person lost forever? Has this mind filled with ideas, fanciful and magnificent imaginations that created a world reliant on its creator's life, has this mind vanished? Does it only live in my memory now? No, that's not the case; your beautifully crafted form, shining with beauty, may have decayed, but your spirit still comes to visit and comfort your unhappy friend.
Pardon this gush of sorrow; these ineffectual words are but a slight tribute to the unexampled worth of Henry, but they soothe my heart, overflowing with the anguish which his remembrance creates. I will proceed with my tale.
Pardon this outpouring of grief; these inadequate words are just a small tribute to Henry's extraordinary value, but they bring some comfort to my heart, which is full of the pain that his memory brings. I'll continue with my story.
Beyond Cologne we descended to the plains of Holland; and we resolved to post the remainder of our way; for the wind was contrary, and the stream of the river was too gentle to aid us.
Beyond Cologne, we traveled down to the flatlands of Holland, and we decided to continue on horseback for the rest of our journey since the wind was against us, and the river’s current was too weak to help us.
Our journey here lost the interest arising from beautiful scenery; but we arrived in a few days at Rotterdam, whence we proceeded by sea to England. It was on a clear morning, in the latter days of December, that I first saw the white cliffs of Britain. The banks of the Thames presented a new scene; they were flat, but fertile, and almost every town was marked by the remembrance of some story. We saw Tilbury Fort, and remembered the Spanish armada; Gravesend, Woolwich, and Greenwich, places which I had heard of even in my country.
Our journey here lost its charm from the beautiful scenery, but we reached Rotterdam in a few days, from where we traveled by sea to England. It was on a clear morning in late December that I first saw the white cliffs of Britain. The banks of the Thames presented a new scene; they were flat but fertile, and almost every town was marked by some story. We saw Tilbury Fort and recalled the Spanish Armada; Gravesend, Woolwich, and Greenwich—places I had heard of even back in my country.
At length we saw the numerous steeples of London, St. Paul’s towering above all, and the Tower famed in English history.
At last, we spotted the many steeples of London, with St. Paul’s standing tall above all, and the Tower known for its place in English history.
CHAPTER II.
London was our present point of rest; we determined to remain several months in this wonderful and celebrated city. Clerval desired the intercourse of the men of genius and talent who flourished at this time; but this was with me a secondary object; I was principally occupied with the means of obtaining the information necessary for the completion of my promise, and quickly availed myself of the letters of introduction that I had brought with me, addressed to the most distinguished natural philosophers.
London was our current place of rest; we decided to stay for several months in this amazing and famous city. Clerval wanted to connect with the talented and brilliant people who were thriving at that time; however, for me, that was a secondary concern. I was mainly focused on finding the information I needed to fulfill my promise and quickly made use of the letters of introduction I had brought, which were addressed to the most renowned natural philosophers.
If this journey had taken place during my days of study and happiness, it would have afforded me inexpressible pleasure. But a blight had come over my existence, and I only visited these people for the sake of the information they might give me on the subject in which my interest was so terribly profound. Company was irksome to me; when alone, I could fill my mind with the sights of heaven and earth; the voice of Henry soothed me, and I could thus cheat myself into a transitory peace. But busy uninteresting joyous faces brought back despair to my heart. I saw an insurmountable barrier placed between me and my fellow-men; this barrier was sealed with the blood of William and Justine; and to reflect on the events connected with those names filled my soul with anguish.
If this journey had happened during my days of studying and happiness, it would have brought me immense joy. But a shadow had fallen over my life, and I was only visiting these people for the information they might share about my deeply troubling interest. I found company annoying; when I was alone, I could immerse myself in the beauty of the world. Henry’s voice calmed me, allowing me to trick myself into a momentary peace. But the busy, happy faces around me reminded me of my despair. I felt an unbreakable barrier between myself and others; this barrier was marked by the blood of William and Justine, and thinking about everything connected to those names filled me with pain.
But in Clerval I saw the image of my former self; he was inquisitive, and anxious to gain experience and instruction. The difference of manners which he observed was to him an inexhaustible source of instruction and amusement. He was for ever busy; and the only check to his enjoyments was my sorrowful and dejected mien. I tried to conceal this as much as possible, that I might not debar him from the pleasures natural to one who was entering on a new scene of life, undisturbed by any care or bitter recollection. I often refused to accompany him, alleging another engagement, that I might remain alone. I now also began to collect the materials necessary for my new creation, and this was to me like the torture of single drops of water continually falling on the head. Every thought that was devoted to it was an extreme anguish, and every word that I spoke in allusion to it caused my lips to quiver, and my heart to palpitate.
But in Clerval, I saw a reflection of my former self; he was curious and eager to learn and gain experience. The differences in behavior he noticed were an endless source of learning and entertainment for him. He was always busy, and the only thing that put a damper on his enjoyment was my sad and gloomy demeanor. I tried to hide this as much as I could, so I wouldn’t take away the joy that comes naturally to someone who is starting a new phase of life, free from any worries or painful memories. I often turned him down when he invited me to join him, claiming I had other plans, so I could be alone. I also started gathering the materials I needed for my new creation, and it felt like torture, like constant drops of water falling on my head. Every thought I dedicated to it brought me extreme pain, and every word I spoke about it made my lips tremble and my heart race.
After passing some months in London, we received a letter from a person in Scotland, who had formerly been our visitor at Geneva. He mentioned the beauties of his native country, and asked us if those were not sufficient allurements to induce us to prolong our journey as far north as Perth, where he resided. Clerval eagerly desired to accept this invitation; and I, although I abhorred society, wished to view again mountains and streams, and all the wondrous works with which Nature adorns her chosen dwelling-places.
After spending a few months in London, we got a letter from someone in Scotland who had previously visited us in Geneva. He talked about the beauty of his homeland and asked us if that wasn't enough to tempt us to extend our journey all the way up to Perth, where he lived. Clerval was really eager to accept this invitation; and I, even though I hated being around people, wanted to see the mountains and streams again, along with all the incredible things that Nature decorates her favorite places with.
We had arrived in England at the beginning of October, and it was now February. We accordingly determined to commence our journey towards the north at the expiration of another month. In this expedition we did not intend to follow the great road to Edinburgh, but to visit Windsor, Oxford, Matlock, and the Cumberland lakes, resolving to arrive at the completion of this tour about the end of July. I packed my chemical instruments, and the materials I had collected, resolving to finish my labours in some obscure nook in the northern highlands of Scotland.
We got to England at the start of October, and now it was February. So, we decided to start our journey north after another month. Instead of taking the main road to Edinburgh, we planned to visit Windsor, Oxford, Matlock, and the Cumberland lakes, aiming to finish this trip by the end of July. I packed my chemistry tools and the materials I had gathered, planning to complete my work in some hidden spot in the northern highlands of Scotland.
We quitted London on the 27th of March, and remained a few days at Windsor, rambling in its beautiful forest. This was a new scene to us mountaineers; the majestic oaks, the quantity of game, and the herds of stately deer, were all novelties to us.
We left London on March 27th and spent a few days in Windsor, wandering through its beautiful forest. This was a new experience for us mountain dwellers; the majestic oaks, the abundance of game, and the herds of graceful deer were all a refreshingly new sight for us.
From thence we proceeded to Oxford. As we entered this city, our minds were filled with the remembrance of the events that had been transacted there more than a century and a half before. It was here that Charles I. had collected his forces. This city had remained faithful to him, after the whole nation had forsaken his cause to join the standard of parliament and liberty. The memory of that unfortunate king, and his companions, the amiable Falkland, the insolent Gower, his queen, and son, gave a peculiar interest to every part of the city, which they might be supposed to have inhabited. The spirit of elder days found a dwelling here, and we delighted to trace its footsteps. If these feelings had not found an imaginary gratification, the appearance of the city had yet in itself sufficient beauty to obtain our admiration. The colleges are ancient and picturesque; the streets are almost magnificent; and the lovely Isis, which flows beside it through meadows of exquisite verdure, is spread forth into a placid expanse of waters, which reflects its majestic assemblage of towers, and spires, and domes, embosomed among aged trees.
From there we headed to Oxford. As we entered the city, our minds were filled with memories of events that took place over a century and a half ago. It was here that Charles I had gathered his forces. This city had stayed loyal to him when the entire nation had abandoned his cause to support Parliament and liberty. The memory of that unfortunate king, along with his companions—the kind Falkland, the arrogant Gower, his queen, and his son—added a unique interest to every part of the city they might have inhabited. The spirit of earlier days found a home here, and we enjoyed tracing its footsteps. Even if these feelings hadn't found an imaginary outlet, the city's beauty was enough to capture our admiration. The colleges are ancient and picturesque; the streets are nearly magnificent; and the lovely Isis, flowing beside it through meadows of lush greenery, spreads into a calm expanse of water that reflects its impressive collection of towers, spires, and domes, nestled among old trees.
I enjoyed this scene; and yet my enjoyment was embittered both by the memory of the past, and the anticipation of the future. I was formed for peaceful happiness. During my youthful days discontent never visited my mind; and if I was ever overcome by ennui, the sight of what is beautiful in nature, or the study of what is excellent and sublime in the productions of man, could always interest my heart, and communicate elasticity to my spirits. But I am a blasted tree; the bolt has entered my soul; and I felt then that I should survive to exhibit, what I shall soon cease to be—a miserable spectacle of wrecked humanity, pitiable to others, and abhorrent to myself.
I enjoyed this scene; however, my enjoyment was tainted by memories of the past and worries about the future. I was meant for peaceful happiness. During my youth, I was never troubled by discontent; and even if I ever felt bored, the beauty of nature or the greatness and brilliance of human achievements would always inspire me and lift my spirits. But now I feel like a ruined tree; the lightning has struck my soul, and in that moment, I knew I would continue to exist just to show what I will soon stop being—a pitiful display of broken humanity, both sad for others to see and repulsive to myself.
We passed a considerable period at Oxford, rambling among its environs, and endeavouring to identify every spot which might relate to the most animating epoch of English history. Our little voyages of discovery were often prolonged by the successive objects that presented themselves. We visited the tomb of the illustrious Hampden, and the field on which that patriot fell. For a moment my soul was elevated from its debasing and miserable fears to contemplate the divine ideas of liberty and self-sacrifice, of which these sights were the monuments and the remembrancers. For an instant I dared to shake off my chains, and look around me with a free and lofty spirit; but the iron had eaten into my flesh, and I sank again, trembling and hopeless, into my miserable self.
We spent a good amount of time at Oxford, exploring the area and trying to pinpoint every location related to the most exciting period of English history. Our little adventures often took longer than planned because of the different things we discovered. We visited the grave of the famous Hampden and the battlefield where that patriot lost his life. For a moment, I felt my spirit rise above my degrading fears and contemplate the noble ideas of freedom and self-sacrifice, which these places represented. For an instant, I dared to break free from my chains and look around with a sense of freedom and grandeur; but the weight of my struggles had dug deep into me, and I sank back down, shaking and hopeless, into my miserable existence.
We left Oxford with regret, and proceeded to Matlock, which was our next place of rest. The country in the neighbourhood of this village resembled, to a greater degree, the scenery of Switzerland; but every thing is on a lower scale, and the green hills want the crown of distant white Alps, which always attend on the piny mountains of my native country. We visited the wondrous cave, and the little cabinets of natural history, where the curiosities are disposed in the same manner as in the collections at Servox and Chamounix. The latter name made me tremble, when pronounced by Henry; and I hastened to quit Matlock, with which that terrible scene was thus associated.
We left Oxford feeling sorry to go and headed to Matlock, our next stop. The countryside around this village looked a lot like Switzerland, but everything felt on a smaller scale, and the green hills didn’t have the distant white Alps that always accompany the pine-covered mountains of my homeland. We explored the amazing cave and the small natural history displays, where the curiosities were arranged just like in the collections at Servox and Chamounix. Hearing Henry mention the latter made me shiver, and I quickly wanted to leave Matlock, as it became linked in my mind to that frightening scene.
From Derby still journeying northward, we passed two months in Cumberland and Westmoreland. I could now almost fancy myself among the Swiss mountains. The little patches of snow which yet lingered on the northern sides of the mountains, the lakes, and the dashing of the rocky streams, were all familiar and dear sights to me. Here also we made some acquaintances, who almost contrived to cheat me into happiness. The delight of Clerval was proportionably greater than mine; his mind expanded in the company of men of talent, and he found in his own nature greater capacities and resources than he could have imagined himself to have possessed while he associated with his inferiors. “I could pass my life here,” said he to me; “and among these mountains I should scarcely regret Switzerland and the Rhine.”
From Derby, we continued our journey north and spent two months in Cumberland and Westmoreland. I could almost believe I was in the Swiss mountains. The small patches of snow still remaining on the northern slopes, the lakes, and the rushing rocky streams were all familiar and cherished sights for me. During this time, we also made some friends who almost managed to bring me happiness. Clerval's joy was even greater than mine; he thrived in the company of talented people and discovered within himself greater abilities and strengths than he had ever realized while spending time with those he considered beneath him. “I could spend my life here,” he said to me, “and among these mountains, I would hardly miss Switzerland and the Rhine.”
But he found that a traveller’s life is one that includes much pain amidst its enjoyments. His feelings are for ever on the stretch; and when he begins to sink into repose, he finds himself obliged to quit that on which he rests in pleasure for something new, which again engages his attention, and which also he forsakes for other novelties.
But he realized that a traveler's life is filled with a lot of pain alongside its pleasures. His emotions are always heightened; and when he starts to relax, he finds he has to leave behind what gave him joy for something new, which captures his interest, only for him to abandon it for other new experiences.
We had scarcely visited the various lakes of Cumberland and Westmoreland, and conceived an affection for some of the inhabitants, when the period of our appointment with our Scotch friend approached, and we left them to travel on. For my own part I was not sorry. I had now neglected my promise for some time, and I feared the effects of the dæmon’s disappointment. He might remain in Switzerland, and wreak his vengeance on my relatives. This idea pursued me, and tormented me at every moment from which I might otherwise have snatched repose and peace. I waited for my letters with feverish impatience: if they were delayed, I was miserable, and overcome by a thousand fears; and when they arrived, and I saw the superscription of Elizabeth or my father, I hardly dared to read and ascertain my fate. Sometimes I thought that the fiend followed me, and might expedite my remissness by murdering my companion. When these thoughts possessed me, I would not quit Henry for a moment, but followed him as his shadow, to protect him from the fancied rage of his destroyer. I felt as if I had committed some great crime, the consciousness of which haunted me. I was guiltless, but I had indeed drawn down a horrible curse upon my head, as mortal as that of crime.
We had barely visited the different lakes in Cumberland and Westmoreland and formed a bond with some of the locals when the time came for our meeting with our Scottish friend, and we set off to travel onward. Personally, I wasn't too upset about it. I had already delayed my promise for quite a while, and I was worried about the consequences of the demon's disappointment. He might stay in Switzerland and take his revenge on my family. This thought haunted me, tormenting me at every moment that I might have found peace. I waited for my letters with anxious anticipation: when they were late, I felt miserable and overwhelmed by countless fears; and when they finally arrived, seeing Elizabeth's or my father's name on the envelope made me hesitate to read and learn about my fate. Sometimes I imagined that the fiend was tracking me and might speed up my negligence by murdering my companion. When these thoughts consumed me, I wouldn’t leave Henry’s side for a second, following him like a shadow to protect him from the imagined wrath of his killer. I felt as though I had committed a terrible crime that haunted me. I was innocent, but I had indeed brought a terrible curse upon myself, just as deadly as actual guilt.
I visited Edinburgh with languid eyes and mind; and yet that city might have interested the most unfortunate being. Clerval did not like it so well as Oxford; for the antiquity of the latter city was more pleasing to him. But the beauty and regularity of the new town of Edinburgh, its romantic castle, and its environs, the most delightful in the world, Arthur’s Seat, St. Bernard’s Well, and the Pentland Hills, compensated him for the change, and filled him with cheerfulness and admiration. But I was impatient to arrive at the termination of my journey.
I visited Edinburgh feeling tired both physically and mentally; still, that city could have captivated even the most unfortunate person. Clerval didn’t like it as much as Oxford because the history of the latter appealed to him more. However, the beauty and order of Edinburgh’s new town, its stunning castle, and its surroundings—some of the most beautiful in the world, like Arthur’s Seat, St. Bernard’s Well, and the Pentland Hills—made up for the difference and filled him with joy and admiration. But I was eager to reach the end of my journey.
We left Edinburgh in a week, passing through Coupar, St. Andrews, and along the banks of the Tay, to Perth, where our friend expected us. But I was in no mood to laugh and talk with strangers, or enter into their feelings or plans with the good humour expected from a guest; and accordingly I told Clerval that I wished to make the tour of Scotland alone. “Do you,” said I, “enjoy yourself, and let this be our rendezvous. I may be absent a month or two; but do not interfere with my motions, I entreat you: leave me to peace and solitude for a short time; and when I return, I hope it will be with a lighter heart, more congenial to your own temper.”
We left Edinburgh in a week, traveling through Coupar, St. Andrews, and along the banks of the Tay to Perth, where our friend was waiting for us. But I wasn’t in the mood to laugh and chat with strangers or engage with their thoughts and plans with the good humor expected of a guest; so I told Clerval that I wanted to explore Scotland on my own. “You go ahead,” I said, “enjoy yourself, and let’s meet up here later. I might be gone for a month or two, but please don’t interfere with my plans. I need some peace and solitude for a little while; and when I come back, I hope it’ll be with a lighter heart that matches your own mood.”
Henry wished to dissuade me; but, seeing me bent on this plan, ceased to remonstrate. He entreated me to write often. “I had rather be with you,” he said, “in your solitary rambles, than with these Scotch people, whom I do not know: hasten then, my dear friend, to return, that I may again feel myself somewhat at home, which I cannot do in your absence.”
Henry wanted to convince me not to go; however, when he saw I was determined, he stopped trying to argue. He urged me to write to him often. “I’d rather be with you,” he said, “on your lonely walks than with these Scottish people I don’t know: so hurry back, my dear friend, so I can feel a bit at home again, which I can't do without you.”
Having parted from my friend, I determined to visit some remote spot of Scotland, and finish my work in solitude. I did not doubt but that the monster followed me, and would discover himself to me when I should have finished, that he might receive his companion.
Having said goodbye to my friend, I decided to head to some secluded place in Scotland and wrap up my work in peace. I was sure that the monster was tracking me and would reveal himself once I was done so he could have his companion.
With this resolution I traversed the northern highlands, and fixed on one of the remotest of the Orkneys as the scene labours. It was a place fitted for such a work, being hardly more than a rock, whose high sides were continually beaten upon by the waves. The soil was barren, scarcely affording pasture for a few miserable cows, and oatmeal for its inhabitants, which consisted of five persons, whose gaunt and scraggy limbs gave tokens of their miserable fare. Vegetables and bread, when they indulged in such luxuries, and even fresh water, was to be procured from the main land, which was about five miles distant.
With this decision, I traveled through the northern highlands and chose one of the most remote Orkney islands as the location for my work. It was a spot fit for such a task, almost nothing more than a rock, with its steep sides constantly battered by the waves. The land was barren, barely providing enough grazing for a few sad cows and just enough oatmeal for the five villagers who lived there. Their thin, bony bodies showed the effects of their meager diet. Vegetables and bread, when they treated themselves to such luxuries, and even fresh water, had to be brought from the mainland, which was about five miles away.
On the whole island there were but three miserable huts, and one of these was vacant when I arrived. This I hired. It contained but two rooms, and these exhibited all the squalidness of the most miserable penury. The thatch had fallen in, the walls were unplastered, and the door was off its hinges. I ordered it to be repaired, bought some furniture, and took possession; an incident which would, doubtless, have occasioned some surprise, had not all the senses of the cottagers been benumbed by want and squalid poverty. As it was, I lived ungazed at and unmolested, hardly thanked for the pittance of food and clothes which I gave; so much does suffering blunt even the coarsest sensations of men.
On the whole island, there were just three rundown huts, and one of them was empty when I arrived. I rented it. It had only two rooms, which showed all the bleakness of extreme poverty. The roof had caved in, the walls were bare, and the door was off its hinges. I had it repaired, bought some furniture, and moved in; this would have surprised some people if the villagers hadn’t been numbed by their own need and squalor. As it turned out, I lived without being watched and left alone, hardly thanked for the little food and clothes I provided; suffering really dulls even the strongest feelings in people.
In this retreat I devoted the morning to labour; but in the evening, when the weather permitted, I walked on the stony beach of the sea, to listen to the waves as they roared, and dashed at my feet. It was a monotonous, yet ever-changing scene. I thought of Switzerland; it was far different from this desolate and appalling landscape. Its hills are covered with vines, and its cottages are scattered thickly in the plains. Its fair lakes reflect a blue and gentle sky; and, when troubled by the winds, their tumult is but as the play of a lively infant, when compared to the roarings of the giant ocean.
During this retreat, I spent the morning working; but in the evening, when the weather allowed, I walked along the rocky beach by the sea to listen to the waves crashing at my feet. It was a repetitive yet constantly changing scene. I thought about Switzerland; it was completely different from this bleak and frightening landscape. Its hills are covered in vineyards, and its cottages are scattered densely across the plains. Its beautiful lakes reflect a calm blue sky; and when disturbed by the winds, their turmoil is just like a playful child, compared to the thundering of the vast ocean.
In this manner I distributed my occupations when I first arrived; but, as I proceeded in my labour, it became every day more horrible and irksome to me. Sometimes I could not prevail on myself to enter my laboratory for several days; and at other times I toiled day and night in order to complete my work. It was indeed a filthy process in which I was engaged. During my first experiment, a kind of enthusiastic frenzy had blinded me to the horror of my employment; my mind was intently fixed on the sequel of my labour, and my eyes were shut to the horror of my proceedings. But now I went to it in cold blood, and my heart often sickened at the work of my hands.
This is how I organized my tasks when I first arrived; however, as I continued with my work, it became increasingly dreadful and frustrating. There were times when I couldn’t bring myself to step into my lab for several days, and other times I worked day and night to finish my project. The process I was involved in was truly disgusting. During my first experiment, a sort of excited madness had blinded me to the horror of what I was doing; I was completely focused on the outcome of my work, ignoring the horrifying nature of my actions. But now I approached it rationally, and my heart often turned at the sight of what I was creating.
Thus situated, employed in the most detestable occupation, immersed in a solitude where nothing could for an instant call my attention from the actual scene in which I was engaged, my spirits became unequal; I grew restless and nervous. Every moment I feared to meet my persecutor. Sometimes I sat with my eyes fixed on the ground, fearing to raise them lest they should encounter the object which I so much dreaded to behold. I feared to wander from the sight of my fellow-creatures, lest when alone he should come to claim his companion.
Thus situated, stuck in the most horrible job, immersed in a solitude where nothing could distract me from the actual scene I was in, my spirits became uneven; I grew restless and anxious. Every moment I feared running into my tormentor. Sometimes I sat with my eyes glued to the ground, afraid to look up lest I see the object I dreaded so much. I was scared to stray from the sight of my fellow humans, worried that when I was alone he would come to claim his companion.
In the mean time I worked on, and my labour was already considerably advanced. I looked towards its completion with a tremulous and eager hope, which I dared not trust myself to question, but which was intermixed with obscure forebodings of evil, that made my heart sicken in my bosom.
In the meantime, I kept working, and I had made significant progress. I looked forward to finishing it with a mix of nervous excitement and hope that I was afraid to analyze, but it was also clouded by vague feelings of dread that made my heart sink.
CHAPTER III.
I sat one evening in my laboratory; the sun had set, and the moon was just rising from the sea; I had not sufficient light for my employment, and I remained idle, in a pause of consideration of whether I should leave my labour for the night, or hasten its conclusion by an unremitting attention to it. As I sat, a train of reflection occurred to me, which led me to consider the effects of what I was now doing. Three years before I was engaged in the same manner, and had created a fiend whose unparalleled barbarity had desolated my heart, and filled it for ever with the bitterest remorse. I was now about to form another being, of whose dispositions I was alike ignorant; she might become ten thousand times more malignant than her mate, and delight, for its own sake, in murder and wretchedness. He had sworn to quit the neighbourhood of man, and hide himself in deserts; but she had not; and she, who in all probability was to become a thinking and reasoning animal, might refuse to comply with a compact made before her creation. They might even hate each other; the creature who already lived loathed his own deformity, and might he not conceive a greater abhorrence for it when it came before his eyes in the female form? She also might turn with disgust from him to the superior beauty of man; she might quit him, and he be again alone, exasperated by the fresh provocation of being deserted by one of his own species.
I was sitting one evening in my lab; the sun had gone down, and the moon was just coming up from the sea. I didn’t have enough light for my work, so I was stuck, trying to decide whether to call it a night or push through. As I sat there, I fell into a series of thoughts about what I was doing. Three years earlier, I’d been in the same position and had created a monster whose unmatched cruelty had shattered my heart and left me with deep remorse. Now, I was about to create another being, and I had no idea what her personality would be like. She could turn out to be even more evil than her counterpart and take pleasure in murder and misery just for the sake of it. He had promised to stay away from humans and seclude himself in the wilderness, but she hadn’t made that promise. As a likely sentient being, she could refuse to stick to any agreement made before she was created. They might even hate each other; the creature that was already alive despised his own ugly appearance, and wouldn’t he grow to loathe it even more when he saw it reflected in a female form? She might also feel disgusted by him and be drawn to the greater beauty of humans; she could leave him, leaving him alone again and frustrated by the fresh hurt of being abandoned by someone of his own kind.
Even if they were to leave Europe, and inhabit the deserts of the new world, yet one of the first results of those sympathies for which the dæmon thirsted would be children, and a race of devils would be propagated upon the earth, who might make the very existence of the species of man a condition precarious and full of terror. Had I a right, for my own benefit, to inflict this curse upon everlasting generations? I had before been moved by the sophisms of the being I had created; I had been struck senseless by his fiendish threats: but now, for the first time, the wickedness of my promise burst upon me; I shuddered to think that future ages might curse me as their pest, whose selfishness had not hesitated to buy its own peace at the price perhaps of the existence of the whole human race.
Even if they left Europe and settled in the deserts of the New World, one of the first outcomes of those emotions that the demon craved would be children, leading to a race of devils being born on earth, which could make the very survival of humanity a precarious and terrifying situation. Did I have the right, for my own sake, to impose this curse on future generations? I had previously been swayed by the arguments of the being I had created; I had been left speechless by his monstrous threats: but now, for the first time, the gravity of my promise hit me; I trembled at the thought that future generations might condemn me as their scourge, whose selfishness had not hesitated to purchase its own peace at the potential cost of the entire human race.
I trembled, and my heart failed within me; when, on looking up, I saw, by the light of the moon, the dæmon at the casement. A ghastly grin wrinkled his lips as he gazed on me, where I sat fulfilling the task which he had allotted to me. Yes, he had followed me in my travels; he had loitered in forests, hid himself in caves, or taken refuge in wide and desert heaths; and he now came to mark my progress, and claim the fulfilment of my promise.
I shook, and my heart sank; when I looked up, I saw the demon at the window, illuminated by the moonlight. A sickening grin twisted his lips as he stared at me while I worked on the task he had given me. Yes, he had tracked me on my journeys; he had hung out in forests, hidden in caves, or sought shelter on vast, barren moors; and now he had come to check on my progress and demand the fulfillment of my promise.
As I looked on him, his countenance expressed the utmost extent of malice and treachery. I thought with a sensation of madness on my promise of creating another like to him, and, trembling with passion, tore to pieces the thing on which I was engaged. The wretch saw me destroy the creature on whose future existence he depended for happiness, and, with a howl of devilish despair and revenge, withdrew.
As I watched him, his face showed the most intense malice and betrayal. I felt a rush of madness thinking about my promise to create another like him, and trembling with anger, I ripped apart the thing I was working on. The miserable being saw me destroy the creature he believed was his only chance at happiness and, with a howl of pure rage and despair, turned away.
I left the room, and, locking the door, made a solemn vow in my own heart never to resume my labours; and then, with trembling steps, I sought my own apartment. I was alone; none were near me to dissipate the gloom, and relieve me from the sickening oppression of the most terrible reveries.
I left the room, locked the door, and made a serious promise to myself never to return to my work. Then, with shaky steps, I headed to my own room. I was alone; no one was around to lift the heaviness or free me from the disturbing thoughts that haunted me.
Several hours past, and I remained near my window gazing on the sea; it was almost motionless, for the winds were hushed, and all nature reposed under the eye of the quiet moon. A few fishing vessels alone specked the water, and now and then the gentle breeze wafted the sound of voices, as the fishermen called to one another. I felt the silence, although I was hardly conscious of its extreme profundity until my ear was suddenly arrested by the paddling of oars near the shore, and a person landed close to my house.
Several hours passed, and I stayed by my window looking at the sea; it was almost still since the winds had died down, and everything seemed peaceful under the watchful moon. Only a few fishing boats dotted the water, and every now and then, a soft breeze carried the sounds of voices as the fishermen called to each other. I sensed the silence, though I barely noticed how deep it was until I was suddenly caught off guard by the sound of oars paddling near the shore, and someone landed right by my house.
In a few minutes after, I heard the creaking of my door, as if some one endeavoured to open it softly. I trembled from head to foot; I felt a presentiment of who it was, and wished to rouse one of the peasants who dwelt in a cottage not far from mine; but I was overcome by the sensation of helplessness, so often felt in frightful dreams, when you in vain endeavour to fly from an impending danger, and was rooted to the spot.
In a few minutes, I heard my door creak, as if someone was trying to open it gently. I was shaking all over; I had a strong sense of who it might be and wanted to wake one of the peasants living in a cottage not far from mine. But I was overwhelmed by that feeling of helplessness you often experience in terrifying dreams, when you desperately try to escape an imminent threat but find yourself frozen in place.
Presently I heard the sound of footsteps along the passage; the door opened, and the wretch whom I dreaded appeared. Shutting the door, he approached me, and said, in a smothered voice—
Presently, I heard footsteps in the hallway; the door opened, and the person I feared came in. After shutting the door, he walked over to me and said in a muffled voice—
“You have destroyed the work which you began; what is it that you intend? Do you dare to break your promise? I have endured toil and misery: I left Switzerland with you; I crept along the shores of the Rhine, among its willow islands, and over the summits of its hills. I have dwelt many months in the heaths of England, and among the deserts of Scotland. I have endured incalculable fatigue, and cold, and hunger; do you dare destroy my hopes?”
“You have ruined the work you started; what do you plan to do? Do you really intend to break your promise? I have suffered through hard work and pain: I left Switzerland with you; I traveled along the banks of the Rhine, among its willow islands, and over the peaks of its hills. I have spent many months in the moors of England and in the wilds of Scotland. I have faced unimaginable exhaustion, cold, and hunger; do you really want to destroy my hopes?”
“Begone! I do break my promise; never will I create another like yourself, equal in deformity and wickedness.”
"Leave! I’m breaking my promise; I will never create another one like you, equal in ugliness and evil."
“Slave, I before reasoned with you, but you have proved yourself unworthy of my condescension. Remember that I have power; you believe yourself miserable, but I can make you so wretched that the light of day will be hateful to you. You are my creator, but I am your master;—obey!”
“Slave, I previously reasoned with you, but you have shown that you are unworthy of my patience. Remember, I have power; you think you are miserable, but I can make you so miserable that the sunlight will be repulsive to you. You are my creator, but I am your master;—obey!”
“The hour of my weakness is past, and the period of your power is arrived. Your threats cannot move me to do an act of wickedness; but they confirm me in a resolution of not creating you a companion in vice. Shall I, in cool blood, set loose upon the earth a dæmon, whose delight is in death and wretchedness. Begone! I am firm, and your words will only exasperate my rage.”
“The time when I was weak is over, and now you have the upper hand. Your threats won’t push me to do something evil; instead, they strengthen my decision not to make you an accomplice in wrongdoing. Am I really going to calmly unleash a monster on the world who thrives on death and suffering? Leave! I’m resolute, and your words will only make my anger worse.”
The monster saw my determination in my face, and gnashed his teeth in the impotence of anger. “Shall each man,” cried he, “find a wife for his bosom, and each beast have his mate, and I be alone? I had feelings of affection, and they were requited by detestation and scorn. Man, you may hate; but beware! Your hours will pass in dread and misery, and soon the bolt will fall which must ravish from you your happiness for ever. Are you to be happy, while I grovel in the intensity of my wretchedness? You can blast my other passions; but revenge remains—revenge, henceforth dearer than light or food! I may die; but first you, my tyrant and tormentor, shall curse the sun that gazes on your misery. Beware; for I am fearless, and therefore powerful. I will watch with the wiliness of a snake, that I may sting with its venom. Man, you shall repent of the injuries you inflict.”
The monster looked at my determination and ground his teeth in anger. “Is it fair,” he yelled, “that every man finds a partner, every animal has its mate, and I am left alone? I had feelings of love, and they were met with hatred and contempt. You, human, may hate; but be careful! Your days will be filled with fear and suffering, and soon the blow will come that will take away your happiness forever. Are you supposed to be happy while I suffer in deep misery? You can destroy my other emotions, but revenge remains—revenge, now more precious than light or food! I might die; but before that, you, my oppressor and tormentor, will curse the sun that shines on your pain. Be warned; I am fearless, and that makes me powerful. I will wait patiently like a snake, ready to strike with its poison. You will regret the harm you do.”
“Devil, cease; and do not poison the air with these sounds of malice. I have declared my resolution to you, and I am no coward to bend beneath words. Leave me; I am inexorable.”
“Devil, stop; and don’t fill the air with these malicious sounds. I’ve made my decision clear to you, and I’m not a coward who’ll back down from words. Leave me; I’m unyielding.”
“It is well. I go; but remember, I shall be with you on your wedding-night.”
“It’s all good. I’m leaving now, but just remember, I’ll be with you on your wedding night.”
I started forward, and exclaimed, “Villain! before you sign my death-warrant, be sure that you are yourself safe.”
I stepped forward and shouted, “You coward! Before you sign my death warrant, make sure you’re safe yourself.”
I would have seized him; but he eluded me, and quitted the house with precipitation: in a few moments I saw him in his boat, which shot across the waters with an arrowy swiftness, and was soon lost amidst the waves.
I would have grabbed him, but he got away from me and left the house in a hurry. A moment later, I saw him in his boat, which sped across the water with incredible speed and quickly disappeared into the waves.
All was again silent; but his words rung in my ears. I burned with rage to pursue the murderer of my peace, and precipitate him into the ocean. I walked up and down my room hastily and perturbed, while my imagination conjured up a thousand images to torment and sting me. Why had I not followed him, and closed with him in mortal strife? But I had suffered him to depart, and he had directed his course towards the main land. I shuddered to think who might be the next victim sacrificed to his insatiate revenge. And then I thought again of his words—“I will be with you on your wedding-night.” That then was the period fixed for the fulfilment of my destiny. In that hour I should die, and at once satisfy and extinguish his malice. The prospect did not move me to fear; yet when I thought of my beloved Elizabeth,—of her tears and endless sorrow, when she should find her lover so barbarously snatched from her,—tears, the first I had shed for many months, streamed from my eyes, and I resolved not to fall before my enemy without a bitter struggle.
Everything was quiet again, but his words echoed in my ears. I was filled with rage to hunt down the murderer of my peace and throw him into the ocean. I paced back and forth in my room, anxious and unsettled, while my mind conjured up countless images to torment and wound me. Why hadn’t I followed him and engaged him in a deadly struggle? But I had let him go, and he had headed towards the mainland. I shuddered at the thought of who might be the next victim sacrificed to his relentless revenge. Then I recalled his words—“I will be with you on your wedding night.” That was the time set for the fulfillment of my fate. In that hour, I would die, simultaneously satisfying and ending his malice. The thought didn’t fill me with fear; yet when I thought of my beloved Elizabeth—of her tears and endless sorrow when she would find her lover so brutally taken from her—tears, the first I had shed in many months, streamed down my face, and I resolved not to fall to my enemy without a fierce fight.
The night passed away, and the sun rose from the ocean; my feelings became calmer, if it may be called calmness, when the violence of rage sinks into the depths of despair. I left the house, the horrid scene of the last night’s contention, and walked on the beach of the sea, which I almost regarded as an insuperable barrier between me and my fellow-creatures; nay, a wish that such should prove the fact stole across me. I desired that I might pass my life on that barren rock, wearily it is true, but uninterrupted by any sudden shock of misery. If I returned, it was to be sacrificed, or to see those whom I most loved die under the grasp of a dæmon whom I had myself created.
The night went by, and the sun rose from the ocean; I felt calmer, if you could call it that, when the intensity of my anger faded into despair. I left the house, the awful place of last night’s argument, and walked along the beach, which I almost saw as an impenetrable barrier between me and other people; in fact, I secretly wished it were true. I wanted to spend my life on that barren rock, tiring as it might be, but without any sudden bursts of misery. If I went back, it would be to be sacrificed or to watch those I loved most die at the hands of a monster I had created myself.
I walked about the isle like a restless spectre, separated from all it loved, and miserable in the separation. When it became noon, and the sun rose higher, I lay down on the grass, and was overpowered by a deep sleep. I had been awake the whole of the preceding night, my nerves were agitated, and my eyes inflamed by watching and misery. The sleep into which I now sunk refreshed me; and when I awoke, I again felt as if I belonged to a race of human beings like myself, and I began to reflect upon what had passed with greater composure; yet still the words of the fiend rung in my ears like a death-knell, they appeared like a dream, yet distinct and oppressive as a reality.
I wandered around the island like a restless ghost, cut off from everything I loved, and miserable because of it. When noon came and the sun climbed higher in the sky, I lay down on the grass and fell into a deep sleep. I’d been awake all night before, my nerves were on edge, and my eyes were red from watching and suffering. The sleep I fell into now refreshed me; when I awoke, I once again felt like I belonged to humanity, just like everyone else, and I began to think about what had happened with more calmness. Still, the words of the monster echoed in my ears like a funeral bell; they seemed like a dream but were as sharp and suffocating as reality.
The sun had far descended, and I still sat on the shore, satisfying my appetite, which had become ravenous, with an oaten cake, when I saw a fishing-boat land close to me, and one of the men brought me a packet; it contained letters from Geneva, and one from Clerval, entreating me to join him. He said that nearly a year had elapsed since we had quitted Switzerland, and France was yet unvisited. He entreated me, therefore, to leave my solitary isle, and meet him at Perth, in a week from that time, when we might arrange the plan of our future proceedings. This letter in a degree recalled me to life, and I determined to quit my island at the expiration of two days.
The sun had set, and I was still sitting on the shore, satisfying my growing hunger with an oatcake when I noticed a fishing boat land nearby, and one of the men brought me a packet. It contained letters from Geneva, including one from Clerval, begging me to join him. He mentioned that almost a year had passed since we had left Switzerland, and France still hadn’t been explored. He urged me to leave my quiet island and meet him in Perth in a week, so we could organize our future plans. This letter somewhat brought me back to life, and I decided to leave my island in two days.
Yet, before I departed, there was a task to perform, on which I shuddered to reflect: I must pack my chemical instruments; and for that purpose I must enter the room which had been the scene of my odious work, and I must handle those utensils, the sight of which was sickening to me. The next morning, at day-break, I summoned sufficient courage, and unlocked the door of my laboratory. The remains of the half-finished creature, whom I had destroyed, lay scattered on the floor, and I almost felt as if I had mangled the living flesh of a human being. I paused to collect myself, and then entered the chamber. With trembling hand I conveyed the instruments out of the room; but I reflected that I ought not to leave the relics of my work to excite the horror and suspicion of the peasants, and I accordingly put them into a basket, with a great quantity of stones, and laying them up, determined to throw them into the sea that very night; and in the mean time I sat upon the beach, employed in cleaning and arranging my chemical apparatus.
Yet, before I left, there was a task I dreaded to think about: I had to pack my chemical instruments, and for that, I had to enter the room where my awful work took place, and I had to handle those tools, which made me feel sick. The next morning, at dawn, I gathered enough courage and unlocked the door to my lab. The remains of the half-finished creature I had destroyed were scattered on the floor, and I almost felt like I had butchered a living person. I paused to collect myself and then entered the room. With shaking hands, I carried the instruments out, but I realized I shouldn’t leave the traces of my work behind to arouse the horror and suspicion of the villagers. So, I put them into a basket with a lot of stones, planning to throw them into the sea that very night. In the meantime, I sat on the beach, cleaning and organizing my chemical equipment.
Nothing could be more complete than the alteration that had taken place in my feelings since the night of the appearance of the dæmon. I had before regarded my promise with a gloomy despair, as a thing that, with whatever consequences, must be fulfilled; but I now felt as if a film had been taken from before my eyes, and that I, for the first time, saw clearly. The idea of renewing my labours did not for one instant occur to me; the threat I had heard weighed on my thoughts, but I did not reflect that a voluntary act of mine could avert it. I had resolved in my own mind, that to create another like the fiend I had first made would be an act of the basest and most atrocious selfishness; and I banished from my mind every thought that could lead to a different conclusion.
Nothing could be more complete than the change in my feelings since the night the demon appeared. I had previously viewed my promise with dark despair, seeing it as something that, no matter the consequences, had to be fulfilled; but now it felt like a veil had been lifted from my eyes, and I finally saw clearly. The thought of resuming my work didn’t even cross my mind; the threat I had heard lingered in my thoughts, but I didn’t realize that a choice I made could change it. I had made up my mind that creating another being like the monster I had first made would be an act of the worst and most horrible selfishness; and I pushed away any thought that could lead me to a different conclusion.
Between two and three in the morning the moon rose; and I then, putting my basket aboard a little skiff, sailed out about four miles from the shore. The scene was perfectly solitary: a few boats were returning towards land, but I sailed away from them. I felt as if I was about the commission of a dreadful crime, and avoided with shuddering anxiety any encounter with my fellow-creatures. At one time the moon, which had before been clear, was suddenly overspread by a thick cloud, and I took advantage of the moment of darkness, and cast my basket into the sea; I listened to the gurgling sound as it sunk, and then sailed away from the spot. The sky became clouded; but the air was pure, although chilled by the north-east breeze that was then rising. But it refreshed me, and filled me with such agreeable sensations, that I resolved to prolong my stay on the water, and fixing the rudder in a direct position, stretched myself at the bottom of the boat. Clouds hid the moon, every thing was obscure, and I heard only the sound of the boat, as its keel cut through the waves; the murmur lulled me, and in a short time I slept soundly.
Between two and three in the morning, the moon rose, and I then, placing my basket in a small boat, sailed out about four miles from the shore. The scene was completely isolated: a few boats were heading back to land, but I moved away from them. I felt like I was about to commit a terrible crime, and I avoided any encounter with other people with a sense of anxious dread. At one point, the moon, which had been shining brightly, was suddenly covered by a thick cloud, and I seized the chance of darkness to throw my basket into the sea; I listened to the gurgling sound as it sank, and then sailed away from the spot. The sky became cloudy, but the air was clear, though chilled by the northeast breeze that was starting to pick up. However, it refreshed me and filled me with such pleasant feelings that I decided to stay out on the water longer. I secured the rudder in a straight position and stretched out at the bottom of the boat. Clouds obscured the moon, everything was dim, and I could only hear the sound of the boat as its keel sliced through the waves; the gentle murmur lulled me, and soon I fell into a deep sleep.
I do not know how long I remained in this situation, but when I awoke I found that the sun had already mounted considerably. The wind was high, and the waves continually threatened the safety of my little skiff. I found that the wind was north-east, and must have driven me far from the coast from which I had embarked. I endeavoured to change my course, but quickly found that if I again made the attempt the boat would be instantly filled with water. Thus situated, my only resource was to drive before the wind. I confess that I felt a few sensations of terror. I had no compass with me, and was so little acquainted with the geography of this part of the world that the sun was of little benefit to me. I might be driven into the wide Atlantic, and feel all the tortures of starvation, or be swallowed up in the immeasurable waters that roared and buffeted around me. I had already been out many hours, and felt the torment of a burning thirst, a prelude to my other sufferings. I looked on the heavens, which were covered by clouds that flew before the wind only to be replaced by others: I looked upon the sea, it was to be my grave. “Fiend,” I exclaimed, “your task is already fulfilled!” I thought of Elizabeth, of my father, and of Clerval; and sunk into a reverie, so despairing and frightful, that even now, when the scene is on the point of closing before me for ever, I shudder to reflect on it.
I don’t know how long I was in this situation, but when I woke up, I found that the sun was already high in the sky. The wind was strong, and the waves constantly threatened the safety of my small boat. I realized that the wind was coming from the northeast, and it must have blown me far away from the coast where I had set out. I tried to change my direction, but quickly discovered that if I attempted it again, the boat would be instantly filled with water. Given the circumstances, my only option was to sail with the wind. I have to admit I felt a few moments of panic. I didn’t have a compass with me, and I was so unfamiliar with the geography of this area that the position of the sun didn’t help me much. I could end up lost in the vast Atlantic, suffering from starvation, or be engulfed by the boundless waters crashing around me. I had already been out for many hours, and I was tormented by a burning thirst, the precursor to my other sufferings. I looked up at the sky, which was covered with clouds racing by, only to be replaced by more: I looked at the sea, which seemed to be my grave. “Devil,” I shouted, “your work is already done!” I thought of Elizabeth, my father, and Clerval; and I fell into a daydream so despairing and terrifying that even now, as the scene is about to close in on me forever, I shudder to think about it.
Some hours passed thus; but by degrees, as the sun declined towards the horizon, the wind died away into a gentle breeze, and the sea became free from breakers. But these gave place to a heavy swell; I felt sick, and hardly able to hold the rudder, when suddenly I saw a line of high land towards the south.
Some hours went by like this; but gradually, as the sun set toward the horizon, the wind eased into a gentle breeze, and the sea calmed down. But this was replaced by a heavy swell; I felt nauseous and barely able to grip the rudder when suddenly I spotted a line of high land to the south.
Almost spent, as I was, by fatigue, and the dreadful suspense I endured for several hours, this sudden certainty of life rushed like a flood of warm joy to my heart, and tears gushed from my eyes.
Almost completely drained by exhaustion and the terrible anxiety I had suffered for hours, this sudden certainty of life flooded my heart with warm joy, and tears streamed down my cheeks.
How mutable are our feelings, and how strange is that clinging love we have of life even in the excess of misery! I constructed another sail with a part of my dress, and eagerly steered my course towards the land. It had a wild and rocky appearance; but as I approached nearer, I easily perceived the traces of cultivation. I saw vessels near the shore, and found myself suddenly transported back to the neighbourhood of civilized man. I eagerly traced the windings of the land, and hailed a steeple which I at length saw issuing from behind a small promontory. As I was in a state of extreme debility, I resolved to sail directly towards the town as a place where I could most easily procure nourishment. Fortunately I had money with me. As I turned the promontory, I perceived a small neat town and a good harbour, which I entered, my heart bounding with joy at my unexpected escape.
How changeable are our feelings, and how strange is that persistent love we have for life even in the depths of misery! I made another sail from part of my dress and eagerly steered my course toward the land. It looked wild and rocky, but as I got closer, I easily noticed signs of cultivation. I saw boats near the shore and suddenly found myself back in the vicinity of civilized people. I eagerly traced the curves of the land and spotted a steeple finally coming into view behind a small promontory. Since I was extremely weak, I decided to sail straight toward the town, hoping to find food more easily there. Luckily, I had some money with me. As I rounded the promontory, I saw a small, tidy town and a nice harbor, which I entered, my heart racing with joy at my unexpected escape.
As I was occupied in fixing the boat and arranging the sails, several people crowded towards the spot. They seemed very much surprised at my appearance; but, instead of offering me any assistance, whispered together with gestures that at any other time might have produced in me a slight sensation of alarm. As it was, I merely remarked that they spoke English; and I therefore addressed them in that language: “My good friends,” said I, “will you be so kind as to tell me the name of this town, and inform me where I am?”
As I was busy fixing the boat and setting up the sails, a crowd of people gathered around. They looked quite surprised to see me; however, instead of helping, they whispered to each other and gestured in a way that might have made me a little uneasy at another time. But I just noticed that they spoke English, so I addressed them in that language: “My good friends,” I said, “could you please tell me the name of this town and let me know where I am?”
“You will know that soon enough,” replied a man with a gruff voice. “May be you are come to a place that will not prove much to your taste; but you will not be consulted as to your quarters, I promise you.”
“You’ll find out soon enough,” replied a man with a rough voice. “Maybe you’ve come to a place that won’t suit your tastes, but I promise you won’t get a say in where you stay.”
I was exceedingly surprised on receiving so rude an answer from a stranger; and I was also disconcerted on perceiving the frowning and angry countenances of his companions. “Why do you answer me so roughly?” I replied: “surely it is not the custom of Englishmen to receive strangers so inhospitably.”
I was really surprised to get such a rude answer from a stranger, and I was also unsettled by the frowning and angry faces of his friends. “Why are you answering me so harshly?” I said. “It can't be the custom for Englishmen to treat strangers so unwelcomingly.”
“I do not know,” said the man, “what the custom of the English may be; but it is the custom of the Irish to hate villains.”
"I don't know," said the man, "what the custom of the English is; but it's common for the Irish to hate villains."
While this strange dialogue continued, I perceived the crowd rapidly increase. Their faces expressed a mixture of curiosity and anger, which annoyed, and in some degree alarmed me. I inquired the way to the inn; but no one replied. I then moved forward, and a murmuring sound arose from the crowd as they followed and surrounded me; when an ill-looking man approaching, tapped me on the shoulder, and said, “Come, Sir, you must follow me to Mr. Kirwin’s, to give an account of yourself.”
While this strange conversation was going on, I noticed the crowd quickly growing in size. Their faces showed a mix of curiosity and anger, which annoyed and somewhat alarmed me. I asked for directions to the inn, but no one answered. I then moved ahead, and a murmuring sound emerged from the crowd as they followed and surrounded me. Just then, a rough-looking man came up, tapped me on the shoulder, and said, “Come on, sir, you need to follow me to Mr. Kirwin’s to explain yourself.”
“Who is Mr. Kirwin? Why am I to give an account of myself? Is not this a free country?”
“Who is Mr. Kirwin? Why do I have to explain myself? Isn’t this a free country?”
“Aye, Sir, free enough for honest folks. Mr. Kirwin is a magistrate; and you are to give an account of the death of a gentleman who was found murdered here last night.”
“Yeah, Sir, it’s safe enough for good people. Mr. Kirwin is a magistrate, and you need to explain the death of a man who was found murdered here last night.”
This answer startled me; but I presently recovered myself. I was innocent; that could easily be proved: accordingly I followed my conductor in silence, and was led to one of the best houses in the town. I was ready to sink from fatigue and hunger; but, being surrounded by a crowd, I thought it politic to rouse all my strength, that no physical debility might be construed into apprehension or conscious guilt. Little did I then expect the calamity that was in a few moments to overwhelm me, and extinguish in horror and despair all fear of ignominy or death.
This answer shocked me, but I quickly pulled myself together. I was innocent; that could be easily proven: so I followed my guide in silence and was taken to one of the best houses in town. I was ready to collapse from tiredness and hunger, but surrounded by a crowd, I felt it was wise to muster all my strength so that any sign of physical weakness wouldn’t be seen as fear or guilt. Little did I know at that moment about the disaster that was about to hit me, obliterating any fear of shame or death with overwhelming horror and despair.
I must pause here; for it requires all my fortitude to recall the memory of the frightful events which I am about to relate, in proper detail, to my recollection.
I have to stop for a moment because it takes all my strength to remember the terrifying events I’m about to share in detail.
CHAPTER IV.
I was soon introduced into the presence of the magistrate, an old benevolent man, with calm and mild manners. He looked upon me, however, with some degree of severity; and then, turning towards my conductors, he asked who appeared as witnesses on this occasion.
I was soon brought before the magistrate, an elderly, kindly man with a calm and gentle demeanor. However, he regarded me with a hint of sternness; then, turning to my escorts, he asked who was present as witnesses this time.
About half a dozen men came forward; and one being selected by the magistrate, he deposed, that he had been out fishing the night before with his son and brother-in-law, Daniel Nugent, when, about ten o’clock, they observed a strong northerly blast rising, and they accordingly put in for port. It was a very dark night, as the moon had not yet risen; they did not land at the harbour, but, as they had been accustomed, at a creek about two miles below. He walked on first, carrying a part of the fishing tackle, and his companions followed him at some distance. As he was proceeding along the sands, he struck his foot against something, and fell all his length on the ground. His companions came up to assist him; and, by the light of their lantern, they found that he had fallen on the body of a man, who was to all appearance dead. Their first supposition was, that it was the corpse of some person who had been drowned, and was thrown on shore by the waves; but, upon examination, they found that the clothes were not wet, and even that the body was not then cold. They instantly carried it to the cottage of an old woman near the spot, and endeavoured, but in vain, to restore it to life. He appeared to be a handsome young man, about five and twenty years of age. He had apparently been strangled; for there was no sign of any violence, except the black mark of fingers on his neck.
About half a dozen men stepped forward, and one was chosen by the magistrate. He testified that he had been fishing the night before with his son and brother-in-law, Daniel Nugent, when around ten o'clock, they noticed a strong north wind picking up and decided to head back to port. It was very dark since the moon hadn’t risen yet; they didn't land at the harbor but rather at a creek about two miles down, as was their usual practice. He walked ahead first, carrying part of the fishing gear, while his companions followed at some distance. As he walked along the sands, he tripped on something and fell flat on the ground. His companions rushed over to help him, and by the light of their lantern, they discovered he had fallen on the body of a man who seemed to be dead. At first, they thought it was the body of someone who had drowned and been washed ashore by the waves. However, upon closer inspection, they found that the clothes were dry and the body wasn’t cold yet. They quickly took it to the cottage of an old woman nearby and tried, but failed, to revive him. He looked like a handsome young man, around twenty-five years old. It appeared that he had been strangled, as there were no signs of violence other than the dark mark of fingers on his neck.
The first part of this deposition did not in the least interest me; but when the mark of the fingers was mentioned, I remembered the murder of my brother, and felt myself extremely agitated; my limbs trembled, and a mist came over my eyes, which obliged me to lean on a chair for support. The magistrate observed me with a keen eye, and of course drew an unfavourable augury from my manner.
The first part of this deposition didn't interest me at all; but when they mentioned the fingerprint, I remembered my brother's murder and felt really shaken. My limbs trembled, and I felt a haze come over my eyes, making me lean on a chair for support. The magistrate watched me closely and obviously took a negative view of my behavior.
The son confirmed his father’s account: but when Daniel Nugent was called, he swore positively that, just before the fall of his companion, he saw a boat, with a single man in it, at a short distance from the shore; and, as far as he could judge by the light of a few stars, it was the same boat in which I had just landed.
The son confirmed his father’s story: but when Daniel Nugent was called, he swore that just before his companion fell, he saw a boat with a single man in it, a short distance from the shore; and as far as he could tell by the light of a few stars, it was the same boat I had just arrived in.
A woman deposed, that she lived near the beach, and was standing at the door of her cottage, waiting for the return of the fishermen, about an hour before she heard of the discovery of the body, when she saw a boat, with only one man in it, push off from that part of the shore where the corpse was afterwards found.
A woman testified that she lived near the beach and was standing at her cottage door, waiting for the fishermen to come back, about an hour before she heard about the discovery of the body. That’s when she saw a boat with only one man in it push off from the spot on the shore where the body was later found.
Another woman confirmed the account of the fishermen having brought the body into her house; it was not cold. They put it into a bed, and rubbed it; and Daniel went to the town for an apothecary, but life was quite gone.
Another woman confirmed the story about the fishermen bringing the body into her house; it wasn't cold. They laid it on a bed and tried to warm it up. Daniel went to town to get a pharmacist, but it was clear that life had completely left the body.
Several other men were examined concerning my landing; and they agreed, that, with the strong north wind that had arisen during the night, it was very probable that I had beaten about for many hours, and had been obliged to return nearly to the same spot from which I had departed. Besides, they observed that it appeared that I had brought the body from another place, and it was likely, that as I did not appear to know the shore, I might have put into the harbour ignorant of the distance of the town of —— from the place where I had deposited the corpse.
Several other men were questioned about my arrival, and they agreed that, with the strong north wind that had picked up during the night, it was very likely that I'd spent hours trying to navigate and had to return almost to the same spot I had left from. Additionally, they noted that it seemed I had brought the body from another location, and since I didn’t seem familiar with the shore, I might have entered the harbor without realizing how far the town of —— was from where I had left the corpse.
Mr. Kirwin, on hearing this evidence, desired that I should be taken into the room where the body lay for interment that it might be observed what effect the sight of it would produce upon me. This idea was probably suggested by the extreme agitation I had exhibited when the mode of the murder had been described. I was accordingly conducted, by the magistrate and several other persons, to the inn. I could not help being struck by the strange coincidences that had taken place during this eventful night; but, knowing that I had been conversing with several persons in the island I had inhabited about the time that the body had been found, I was perfectly tranquil as to the consequences of the affair.
Mr. Kirwin, upon hearing this evidence, wanted me to be taken into the room where the body was laid out for burial to see how I would react to it. This idea likely came from my intense distress when the details of the murder were described. I was then led by the magistrate and several others to the inn. I couldn’t help but notice the strange coincidences that had happened on this eventful night; however, knowing that I had been talking to several people on the island around the time the body was found, I felt completely calm about the situation.
I entered the room where the corpse lay, and was led up to the coffin. How can I describe my sensations on beholding it? I feel yet parched with horror, nor can I reflect on that terrible moment without shuddering and agony, that faintly reminds me of the anguish of the recognition. The trial, the presence of the magistrate and witnesses, passed like a dream from my memory, when I saw the lifeless form of Henry Clerval stretched before me. I gasped for breath; and, throwing myself on the body, I exclaimed, “Have my murderous machinations deprived you also, my dearest Henry, of life? Two I have already destroyed; other victims await their destiny: but you, Clerval, my friend, my benefactor”——
I walked into the room with the body and was taken to the coffin. How can I describe what I felt when I saw it? I still feel parched with horror, and I can’t think about that terrible moment without shuddering in pain, which faintly reminds me of the anguish of realizing the truth. The trial, the presence of the magistrate and witnesses, faded from my mind like a dream when I saw Henry Clerval’s lifeless body lying in front of me. I struggled to breathe and, throwing myself onto the body, I cried out, “Have my murderous plans taken you away from me too, my dearest Henry? I have already destroyed two; others are waiting for their fate: but you, Clerval, my friend, my benefactor”—
The human frame could no longer support the agonizing suffering that I endured, and I was carried out of the room in strong convulsions.
The human body could no longer handle the intense pain I was going through, and I was taken out of the room in violent convulsions.
A fever succeeded to this. I lay for two months on the point of death: my ravings, as I afterwards heard, were frightful; I called myself the murderer of William, of Justine, and of Clerval. Sometimes I entreated my attendants to assist me in the destruction of the fiend by whom I was tormented; and, at others, I felt the fingers of the monster already grasping my neck, and screamed aloud with agony and terror. Fortunately, as I spoke my native language, Mr. Kirwin alone understood me; but my gestures and bitter cries were sufficient to affright the other witnesses.
A fever followed this. I spent two months on the brink of death: my ravings, as I later heard, were horrific; I called myself the murderer of William, Justine, and Clerval. Sometimes I begged my caregivers to help me destroy the monster that tormented me; at other times, I felt the creature’s fingers tightening around my neck and screamed in pain and fear. Luckily, since I was speaking my native language, only Mr. Kirwin understood me; but my gestures and desperate cries were enough to terrify the other witnesses.
Why did I not die? More miserable than man ever was before, why did I not sink into forgetfulness and rest? Death snatches away many blooming children, the only hopes of their doating parents: how many brides and youthful lovers have been one day in the bloom of health and hope, and the next a prey for worms and the decay of the tomb! Of what materials was I made, that I could thus resist so many shocks, which, like the turning of the wheel, continually renewed the torture.
Why didn’t I die? More miserable than anyone has ever been, why didn’t I just fade away into oblivion and find peace? Death takes many vibrant children, the sole hopes of their doting parents: how many brides and young lovers were full of health and hope one day, and the next became food for worms and ended up in the grave! What was I made of that allowed me to withstand so many blows, which, like the spinning of a wheel, constantly brought renewed suffering?
But I was doomed to live; and, in two months, found myself as awaking from a dream, in a prison, stretched on a wretched bed, surrounded by gaolers, turnkeys, bolts, and all the miserable apparatus of a dungeon. It was morning, I remember, when I thus awoke to understanding: I had forgotten the particulars of what had happened, and only felt as if some great misfortune had suddenly overwhelmed me; but when I looked around, and saw the barred windows, and the squalidness of the room in which I was, all flashed across my memory, and I groaned bitterly.
But I was doomed to live; and, in two months, I found myself waking up from a dream, in a prison, stretched out on a miserable bed, surrounded by guards, jailers, locks, and all the terrible things that make up a dungeon. I remember it was morning when I came to my senses: I had forgotten the details of what had happened, and only felt like some huge disaster had suddenly hit me; but when I looked around and saw the barred windows and the filth of the room I was in, everything came rushing back to me, and I groaned bitterly.
This sound disturbed an old woman who was sleeping in a chair beside me. She was a hired nurse, the wife of one of the turnkeys, and her countenance expressed all those bad qualities which often characterize that class. The lines of her face were hard and rude, like that of persons accustomed to see without sympathizing in sights of misery. Her tone expressed her entire indifference; she addressed me in English, and the voice struck me as one that I had heard during my sufferings:
This noise disturbed an old woman who was sleeping in a chair next to me. She was a hired nurse, the wife of one of the guards, and her face showed all those negative traits that often come with that job. The lines in her face were harsh and unkind, like someone used to seeing suffering without feeling for it. Her tone showed complete indifference; she spoke to me in English, and her voice reminded me of someone I had heard during my tough times:
“Are you better now, Sir?” said she.
“Are you feeling better now, Sir?” she asked.
I replied in the same language, with a feeble voice, “I believe I am; but if it be all true, if indeed I did not dream, I am sorry that I am still alive to feel this misery and horror.”
I answered in the same language, with a weak voice, “I think I am; but if it’s all true, if I really didn’t just dream it, I’m sorry that I’m still alive to experience this pain and fear.”
“For that matter,” replied the old woman, “if you mean about the gentleman you murdered, I believe that it were better for you if you were dead, for I fancy it will go hard with you; but you will be hung when the next sessions come on. However, that’s none of my business, I am sent to nurse you, and get you well; I do my duty with a safe conscience, it were well if every body did the same.”
“For that matter,” replied the old woman, “if you’re talking about the gentleman you killed, I think it would be better for you if you were dead, because I suspect things will be tough for you; but you’re going to be hanged when the next sessions come around. But that’s not my concern, I’m just here to take care of you and help you get better; I do my job with a clear conscience, and it would be nice if everyone did the same.”
I turned with loathing from the woman who could utter so unfeeling a speech to a person just saved, on the very edge of death; but I felt languid, and unable to reflect on all that had passed. The whole series of my life appeared to me as a dream; I sometimes doubted if indeed it were all true, for it never presented itself to my mind with the force of reality.
I turned away in disgust from the woman who could say something so heartless to someone just rescued from the brink of death; but I felt weak and unable to think about everything that had happened. My entire life felt like a dream; sometimes I questioned whether it was really true at all, because it never seemed real to me.
As the images that floated before me became more distinct, I grew feverish; a darkness pressed around me; no one was near me who soothed me with the gentle voice of love; no dear hand supported me. The physician came and prescribed medicines, and the old woman prepared them for me; but utter carelessness was visible in the first, and the expression of brutality was strongly marked in the visage of the second. Who could be interested in the fate of a murderer, but the hangman who would gain his fee?
As the images that appeared before me became clearer, I felt feverish; darkness closed in around me; no one was there to comfort me with a loving voice; no caring hand was there to support me. The doctor came and prescribed medicine, and the old woman prepared it for me; but the doctor showed complete indifference, and there was a harshness clearly visible in the woman's face. Who would care about the fate of a murderer, except for the executioner who would receive payment?
These were my first reflections; but I soon learned that Mr. Kirwin had shewn me extreme kindness. He had caused the best room in the prison to be prepared for me (wretched indeed was the best); and it was he who had provided a physician and a nurse. It is true, he seldom came to see me; for, although he ardently desired to relieve the sufferings of every human creature, he did not wish to be present at the agonies and miserable ravings of a murderer. He came, therefore, sometimes to see that I was not neglected; but his visits were short, and at long intervals.
These were my first thoughts; but I quickly realized that Mr. Kirwin had shown me immense kindness. He had arranged for the best room in the prison to be prepared for me (though the best was still quite miserable); and he was the one who provided a doctor and a nurse. It's true he rarely came to visit me; although he deeply wanted to alleviate the suffering of every person, he didn't want to witness the pain and desperate ramblings of a murderer. So, he came occasionally to check that I was being looked after, but his visits were brief and spaced far apart.
One day, when I was gradually recovering, I was seated in a chair, my eyes half open, and my cheeks livid like those in death, I was overcome by gloom and misery, and often reflected I had better seek death than remain miserably pent up only to be let loose in a world replete with wretchedness. At one time I considered whether I should not declare myself guilty, and suffer the penalty of the law, less innocent than poor Justine had been. Such were my thoughts, when the door of my apartment was opened, and Mr. Kirwin entered. His countenance expressed sympathy and compassion; he drew a chair close to mine, and addressed me in French—
One day, as I was slowly recovering, I sat in a chair, my eyes half open, and my cheeks pale like those of a corpse. I was overwhelmed by sadness and despair, often thinking it would be better to seek death than to be trapped in a world filled with misery. At one point, I thought about admitting my guilt and accepting the punishment of the law, feeling less innocent than poor Justine had been. Those were my thoughts when the door to my room opened, and Mr. Kirwin came in. His face showed sympathy and compassion; he pulled a chair close to mine and spoke to me in French—
“I fear that this place is very shocking to you; can I do any thing to make you more comfortable?”
"I’m worried that this place is really overwhelming for you; is there anything I can do to help you feel more comfortable?"
“I thank you; but all that you mention is nothing to me: on the whole earth there is no comfort which I am capable of receiving.”
"I appreciate it, but everything you mentioned means nothing to me: there’s no comfort in the world that I can accept."
“I know that the sympathy of a stranger can be but of little relief to one borne down as you are by so strange a misfortune. But you will, I hope, soon quit this melancholy abode; for, doubtless, evidence can easily be brought to free you from the criminal charge.”
“I know that the sympathy of a stranger can bring you little comfort when you’re weighed down by such an unusual misfortune. But I hope you’ll soon leave this sorrowful place; after all, there’s surely evidence that can easily clear you of the criminal charge.”
“That is my least concern: I am, by a course of strange events, become the most miserable of mortals. Persecuted and tortured as I am and have been, can death be any evil to me?”
"That's my least concern: due to a series of strange events, I have become the most miserable person alive. Being persecuted and tortured as I am and have been, can death really be any worse for me?"
“Nothing indeed could be more unfortunate and agonizing than the strange chances that have lately occurred. You were thrown, by some surprising accident, on this shore, renowned for its hospitality: seized immediately, and charged with murder. The first sight that was presented to your eyes was the body of your friend, murdered in so unaccountable a manner, and placed, as it were, by some fiend across your path.”
“Nothing could be more unfortunate and painful than the bizarre events that have happened recently. You were unexpectedly washed up on this shore, known for its hospitality: captured right away and accused of murder. The first thing you saw was your friend's body, killed in such an inexplicable way, lying, as if placed there by some evil spirit, in your way.”
As Mr. Kirwin said this, notwithstanding the agitation I endured on this retrospect of my sufferings, I also felt considerable surprise at the knowledge he seemed to possess concerning me. I suppose some astonishment was exhibited in my countenance; for Mr. Kirwin hastened to say—
As Mr. Kirwin said this, despite the turmoil I felt reflecting on my suffering, I was also quite surprised by how much he seemed to know about me. I guess my expression showed some astonishment; because Mr. Kirwin quickly added—
“It was not until a day or two after your illness that I thought of examining your dress, that I might discover some trace by which I could send to your relations an account of your misfortune and illness. I found several letters, and, among others, one which I discovered from its commencement to be from your father. I instantly wrote to Geneva: nearly two months have elapsed since the departure of my letter.—But you are ill; even now you tremble: you are unfit for agitation of any kind.”
“It wasn't until a day or two after you got sick that I thought about checking your clothes, hoping to find something that could help me inform your family about what happened to you. I found several letters, including one that I recognized right away as being from your dad. I quickly wrote to Geneva: it’s been almost two months since I sent my letter. But you’re still not well; even now you’re shaking: you aren’t in a condition to handle any kind of stress.”
“This suspense is a thousand times worse than the most horrible event: tell me what new scene of death has been acted, and whose murder I am now to lament.”
“This suspense is a thousand times worse than the most horrific event: tell me what new scene of death has taken place, and whose murder I am now supposed to mourn.”
“Your family is perfectly well,” said Mr. Kirwin, with gentleness; “and some one, a friend, is come to visit you.”
“Your family is doing just fine,” said Mr. Kirwin gently; “and someone, a friend, has come to see you.”
I know not by what chain of thought the idea presented itself, but it instantly darted into my mind that the murderer had come to mock at my misery, and taunt me with the death of Clerval, as a new incitement for me to comply with his hellish desires. I put my hand before my eyes, and cried out in agony—
I don't know what led me to think this, but the idea suddenly struck me that the murderer had come to taunt my suffering and tease me about Clerval's death, pushing me to give in to his twisted demands. I covered my eyes with my hand and cried out in pain—
“Oh! take him away! I cannot see him; for God’s sake, do not let him enter!”
“Oh! Get him out of here! I can't stand to see him; for heaven's sake, don't let him come in!”
Mr. Kirwin regarded me with a troubled countenance. He could not help regarding my exclamation as a presumption of my guilt, and said, in rather a severe tone—
Mr. Kirwin looked at me with a worried expression. He couldn't help but see my outburst as a sign of my guilt, and said, in quite a stern tone—
“I should have thought, young man, that the presence of your father would have been welcome, instead of inspiring such violent repugnance.”
“I figured, young man, that having your father around would be a good thing, instead of causing such strong dislike.”
“My father!” cried I, while every feature and every muscle was relaxed from anguish to pleasure. “Is my father, indeed, come? How kind, how very kind. But where is he, why does he not hasten to me?”
“My father!” I cried, my face and body shifting from pain to joy. “Has my father really come? How nice, how incredibly nice. But where is he? Why isn’t he coming to me right away?”
My change of manner surprised and pleased the magistrate; perhaps he thought that my former exclamation was a momentary return of delirium, and now he instantly resumed his former benevolence. He rose, and quitted the room with my nurse, and in a moment my father entered it.
My change in behavior surprised and pleased the magistrate; maybe he thought that my earlier outburst was just a momentary return of delirium, and now he quickly returned to his previous kindness. He stood up and left the room with my nurse, and a moment later, my father came in.
Nothing, at this moment, could have given me greater pleasure than the arrival of my father. I stretched out my hand to him, and cried—
Nothing, at that moment, could have made me happier than my father's arrival. I reached out my hand to him and shouted—
“Are you then safe—and Elizabeth—and Ernest?”
“Are you all safe—Elizabeth and Ernest too?”
My father calmed me with assurances of their welfare, and endeavoured, by dwelling on these subjects so interesting to my heart, to raise my desponding spirits; but he soon felt that a prison cannot be the abode of cheerfulness. “What a place is this that you inhabit, my son!” said he, looking mournfully at the barred windows, and wretched appearance of the room. “You travelled to seek happiness, but a fatality seems to pursue you. And poor Clerval—”
My dad reassured me about their well-being and tried to lift my spirits by focusing on topics that mattered to me, but he quickly realized that a prison isn’t a happy place. “What a place you’re living in, my son!” he said, looking sadly at the barred windows and the miserable state of the room. “You traveled to find happiness, but it seems like fate is against you. And poor Clerval—”
The name of my unfortunate and murdered friend was an agitation too great to be endured in my weak state; I shed tears.
The name of my unfortunate and murdered friend was a distressing thought that felt too heavy to bear in my fragile state; I cried.
“Alas! yes, my father,” replied I; “some destiny of the most horrible kind hangs over me, and I must live to fulfil it, or surely I should have died on the coffin of Henry.”
“Unfortunately, yes, my father,” I replied; “some terrible fate looms over me, and I have to live to face it, or I definitely would have died on Henry's coffin.”
We were not allowed to converse for any length of time, for the precarious state of my health rendered every precaution necessary that could insure tranquillity. Mr. Kirwin came in, and insisted that my strength should not be exhausted by too much exertion. But the appearance of my father was to me like that of my good angel, and I gradually recovered my health.
We weren't allowed to talk for too long because my health was so fragile, and every precaution was needed to ensure my peace. Mr. Kirwin came in and insisted that I shouldn't tire myself out with too much activity. But seeing my father felt like having a guardian angel, and I slowly started to get better.
As my sickness quitted me, I was absorbed by a gloomy and black melancholy, that nothing could dissipate. The image of Clerval was for ever before me, ghastly and murdered. More than once the agitation into which these reflections threw me made my friends dread a dangerous relapse. Alas! why did they preserve so miserable and detested a life? It was surely that I might fulfil my destiny, which is now drawing to a close. Soon, oh, very soon, will death extinguish these throbbings, and relieve me from the mighty weight of anguish that bears me to the dust; and, in executing the award of justice, I shall also sink to rest. Then the appearance of death was distant, although the wish was ever present to my thoughts; and I often sat for hours motionless and speechless, wishing for some mighty revolution that might bury me and my destroyer in its ruins.
As my sickness left me, I was consumed by a deep and heavy sadness that nothing could shake off. The image of Clerval was always in my mind, ghostly and murdered. More than once, the agitation from these thoughts made my friends fear for a serious relapse. Why did they continue to endure such a miserable and hated life? It was surely so I could fulfill my destiny, which is now coming to an end. Soon, oh, very soon, death will put an end to this suffering and free me from the immense burden of anguish dragging me down; and in carrying out this act of justice, I will also find peace. Though death seemed far away, the desire for it was constantly in my thoughts, and I often sat for hours, motionless and silent, wishing for some great upheaval that might bury both me and my destroyer in its aftermath.
The season of the assizes approached. I had already been three months in prison; and although I was still weak, and in continual danger of a relapse, I was obliged to travel nearly a hundred miles to the county-town, where the court was held. Mr. Kirwin charged himself with every care of collecting witnesses, and arranging my defence. I was spared the disgrace of appearing publicly as a criminal, as the case was not brought before the court that decides on life and death. The grand jury rejected the bill, on its being proved that I was on the Orkney Islands at the hour the body of my friend was found, and a fortnight after my removal I was liberated from prison.
The time for the trial was coming up. I had already spent three months in jail, and even though I was still weak and at risk of getting worse, I had to travel nearly a hundred miles to the county seat where the court was held. Mr. Kirwin took care of gathering witnesses and organizing my defense. I avoided the shame of appearing in public as a criminal since my case wasn’t brought before the court that handles life-and-death matters. The grand jury dismissed the charges after it was shown that I had been in the Orkney Islands at the time my friend’s body was discovered, and two weeks after my transfer, I was released from jail.
My father was enraptured on finding me freed from the vexations of a criminal charge, that I was again allowed to breathe the fresh atmosphere, and allowed to return to my native country. I did not participate in these feelings; for to me the walls of a dungeon or a palace were alike hateful. The cup of life was poisoned for ever; and although the sun shone upon me, as upon the happy and gay of heart, I saw around me nothing but a dense and frightful darkness, penetrated by no light but the glimmer of two eyes that glared upon me. Sometimes they were the expressive eyes of Henry, languishing in death, the dark orbs nearly covered by the lids, and the long black lashes that fringed them; sometimes it was the watery clouded eyes of the monster, as I first saw them in my chamber at Ingolstadt.
My father was overjoyed when he found out I was cleared of the criminal charges, that I could breathe fresh air again, and that I was allowed to return to my home country. I didn’t share in these feelings; for me, the walls of a prison or a palace felt equally unbearable. Life had become poisoned for me forever; and even though the sun shone on me like it did on those who were happy and carefree, I could see only a dense and terrifying darkness around me, broken only by the glare of two eyes watching me. Sometimes they were the expressive eyes of Henry, fading away in death, the dark orbs nearly covered by his eyelids and the long black lashes that framed them; other times, they were the clouded, watery eyes of the monster, just as I first saw them in my room at Ingolstadt.
My father tried to awaken in me the feelings of affection. He talked of Geneva, which I should soon visit—of Elizabeth, and Ernest; but these words only drew deep groans from me. Sometimes, indeed, I felt a wish for happiness; and thought, with melancholy delight, of my beloved cousin; or longed, with a devouring maladie du pays, to see once more the blue lake and rapid Rhone, that had been so dear to me in early childhood: but my general state of feeling was a torpor, in which a prison was as welcome a residence as the divinest scene in nature; and these fits were seldom interrupted, but by paroxysms of anguish and despair. At these moments I often endeavoured to put an end to the existence I loathed; and it required unceasing attendance and vigilance to restrain me from committing some dreadful act of violence.
My father tried to instill feelings of affection in me. He talked about Geneva, which I would soon visit—about Elizabeth and Ernest; but his words only made me groan deeply. Sometimes I did feel a desire for happiness and thought, with a bittersweet sadness, of my beloved cousin; or I longed, with an intense homesickness, to see again the blue lake and swift Rhone, which had meant so much to me in my childhood. But overall, I felt a numbness where a prison seemed just as welcoming as the most beautiful scene in nature; and these moments of numbness were rarely broken, except by intense bursts of anguish and despair. At these times, I often tried to end the life I detested; and it took constant attention and vigilance to prevent me from doing something terrible.
I remember, as I quitted the prison, I heard one of the men say, “He may be innocent of the murder, but he has certainly a bad conscience.” These words struck me. A bad conscience! yes, surely I had one. William, Justine, and Clerval, had died through my infernal machinations; “And whose death,” cried I, “is to finish the tragedy? Ah! my father, do not remain in this wretched country; take me where I may forget myself, my existence, and all the world.”
I remember, as I left the prison, I heard one of the guys say, “He might be innocent of the murder, but he definitely has a guilty conscience.” Those words hit me hard. A guilty conscience! Yes, I definitely had one. William, Justine, and Clerval had all died because of my terrible actions; “And whose death,” I yelled, “is going to end this nightmare? Ah! Dad, please don’t stay in this miserable place; take me somewhere I can escape myself, my life, and everything around me.”
My father easily acceded to my desire; and, after having taken leave of Mr. Kirwin, we hastened to Dublin. I felt as if I was relieved from a heavy weight, when the packet sailed with a fair wind from Ireland, and I had quitted for ever the country which had been to me the scene of so much misery.
My father quickly agreed to my wish, and after saying goodbye to Mr. Kirwin, we rushed to Dublin. I felt like a heavy burden had been lifted when the ship set sail with a good wind from Ireland, and I left behind the country that had brought me so much pain for good.
It was midnight. My father slept in the cabin; and I lay on the deck, looking at the stars, and listening to the dashing of the waves. I hailed the darkness that shut Ireland from my sight, and my pulse beat with a feverish joy, when I reflected that I should soon see Geneva. The past appeared to me in the light of a frightful dream; yet the vessel in which I was, the wind that blew me from the detested shore of Ireland, and the sea which surrounded me, told me too forcibly that I was deceived by no vision, and that Clerval, my friend and dearest companion, had fallen a victim to me and the monster of my creation. I repassed, in my memory, my whole life; my quiet happiness while residing with my family in Geneva, the death of my mother, and my departure for Ingolstadt. I remembered shuddering at the mad enthusiasm that hurried me on to the creation of my hideous enemy, and I called to mind the night during which he first lived. I was unable to pursue the train of thought; a thousand feelings pressed upon me, and I wept bitterly.
It was midnight. My father was sleeping in the cabin, and I was lying on the deck, staring at the stars and listening to the waves crashing. I embraced the darkness that hid Ireland from my view, and my heart raced with a feverish joy as I thought about soon seeing Geneva. The past felt like a horrifying dream; yet the ship I was on, the wind that carried me away from the hated shore of Ireland, and the sea surrounding me reminded me too strongly that I wasn’t just imagining things, and that Clerval, my friend and closest companion, had fallen victim to me and the monster I had created. I replayed my entire life in my mind: my peaceful happiness living with my family in Geneva, the death of my mother, and my departure for Ingolstadt. I recalled how I shuddered at the wild enthusiasm that drove me to create my hideous foe, and I remembered the night he first came to life. I couldn’t continue my train of thought; a flood of emotions overwhelmed me, and I cried bitterly.
Ever since my recovery from the fever I had been in the custom of taking every night a small quantity of laudanum; for it was by means of this drug only that I was enabled to gain the rest necessary for the preservation of life. Oppressed by the recollection of my various misfortunes, I now took a double dose, and soon slept profoundly. But sleep did not afford me respite from thought and misery; my dreams presented a thousand objects that scared me. Towards morning I was possessed by a kind of night-mare; I felt the fiend’s grasp in my neck, and could not free myself from it; groans and cries rung in my ears. My father, who was watching over me, perceiving my restlessness, awoke me, and pointed to the port of Holyhead, which we were now entering.
Ever since I recovered from the fever, I had developed a habit of taking a small dose of laudanum every night; it was the only way I could get the rest I needed to stay alive. Burdened by memories of my many misfortunes, I took a double dose and soon fell into a deep sleep. But sleep didn’t bring me any relief from thoughts and misery; my dreams were filled with a thousand frightening images. As morning approached, I was overcome by a nightmare; I felt a grip around my neck that I couldn’t escape, and I heard groans and cries echoing in my ears. My father, who had been keeping watch over me, noticed my restlessness, woke me up, and pointed to the port of Holyhead, which we were just entering.
CHAPTER V.
We had resolved not to go to London, but to cross the country to Portsmouth, and thence to embark for Havre. I preferred this plan principally because I dreaded to see again those places in which I had enjoyed a few moments of tranquillity with my beloved Clerval. I thought with horror of seeing again those persons whom we had been accustomed to visit together, and who might make inquiries concerning an event, the very remembrance of which made me again feel the pang I endured when I gazed on his lifeless form in the inn at ——.
We had decided not to go to London, but to travel across the country to Portsmouth, and then set sail for Havre. I preferred this plan mainly because I was anxious about seeing again the places where I had enjoyed a few peaceful moments with my dear friend Clerval. The thought of encountering again those people we used to visit together filled me with dread, as they might ask about an event that, just thinking about it, brought back the pain I felt when I looked at his lifeless body in the inn at ——.
As for my father, his desires and exertions were bounded to the again seeing me restored to health and peace of mind. His tenderness and attentions were unremitting; my grief and gloom was obstinate, but he would not despair. Sometimes he thought that I felt deeply the degradation of being obliged to answer a charge of murder, and he endeavoured to prove to me the futility of pride.
As for my dad, his wishes and efforts were focused on seeing me healthy and at peace again. His kindness and care never wavered; my sadness and despair were persistent, but he refused to lose hope. Sometimes he thought I was deeply affected by the shame of being forced to answer a murder charge, and he tried to show me how pointless pride was.
“Alas! my father,” said I, “how little do you know me. Human beings, their feelings and passions, would indeed be degraded, if such a wretch as I felt pride. Justine, poor unhappy Justine, was as innocent as I, and she suffered the same charge; she died for it; and I am the cause of this—I murdered her. William, Justine, and Henry—they all died by my hands.”
“Alas! my father,” I said, “how little you know me. Human beings, their feelings and passions, would truly be diminished if someone as wretched as I felt pride. Justine, poor unhappy Justine, was as innocent as I am, and she faced the same accusation; she died for it; and I am the reason for this—I killed her. William, Justine, and Henry—they all died because of me.”
My father had often, during my imprisonment, heard me make the same assertion; when I thus accused myself, he sometimes seemed to desire an explanation, and at others he appeared to consider it as caused by delirium, and that, during my illness, some idea of this kind had presented itself to my imagination, the remembrance of which I preserved in my convalescence. I avoided explanation, and maintained a continual silence concerning the wretch I had created. I had a feeling that I should be supposed mad, and this for ever chained my tongue, when I would have given the whole world to have confided the fatal secret.
My father had often heard me make the same claim during my imprisonment; when I accused myself like this, he sometimes seemed to want an explanation, while at other times he thought it was just delirium, that during my illness, some idea like this had come to my mind, which I held on to during my recovery. I avoided explaining myself and kept silent about the monster I had created. I felt that people would think I was crazy, and this forever held me back from speaking up, even though I would have given anything to share the terrible secret.
Upon this occasion my father said, with an expression of unbounded wonder, “What do you mean, Victor? are you mad? My dear son, I entreat you never to make such an assertion again.”
Upon this occasion, my father said, with an expression of complete astonishment, "What do you mean, Victor? Are you crazy? My dear son, please, I beg you never to say something like that again."
“I am not mad,” I cried energetically; “the sun and the heavens, who have viewed my operations, can bear witness of my truth. I am the assassin of those most innocent victims; they died by my machinations. A thousand times would I have shed my own blood, drop by drop, to have saved their lives; but I could not, my father, indeed I could not sacrifice the whole human race.”
“I’m not crazy,” I exclaimed passionately; “the sun and the heavens, who have witnessed what I've done, can attest to my honesty. I am the killer of those innocent victims; they perished because of my actions. A thousand times I would have given my own blood, drop by drop, to save their lives; but I couldn’t, my father, I truly couldn’t sacrifice the entire human race.”
The conclusion of this speech convinced my father that my ideas were deranged, and he instantly changed the subject of our conversation, and endeavoured to alter the course of my thoughts. He wished as much as possible to obliterate the memory of the scenes that had taken place in Ireland, and never alluded to them, or suffered me to speak of my misfortunes.
The end of this speech made my dad think my ideas were crazy, and he quickly changed the topic of our conversation and tried to shift my thoughts. He wanted to erase the memory of what happened in Ireland as much as he could, and he never mentioned it or let me talk about my troubles.
As time passed away I became more calm: misery had her dwelling in my heart, but I no longer talked in the same incoherent manner of my own crimes; sufficient for me was the consciousness of them. By the utmost self-violence, I curbed the imperious voice of wretchedness, which sometimes desired to declare itself to the whole world; and my manners were calmer and more composed than they had ever been since my journey to the sea of ice.
As time went on, I became more at peace: sorrow had settled in my heart, but I didn't speak in the same jumbled way about my own wrongdoings; just being aware of them was enough for me. Through extreme effort, I controlled the desperate urge to make my suffering known to everyone; my behavior was calmer and more composed than it had been since my trip to the sea of ice.
We arrived at Havre on the 8th of May, and instantly proceeded to Paris, where my father had some business which detained us a few weeks. In this city, I received the following letter from Elizabeth:—
We got to Havre on May 8th and immediately headed to Paris, where my dad had some business that kept us busy for a few weeks. While we were in the city, I got this letter from Elizabeth:—
“To Victor Frankenstein.
“To Victor Frankenstein.”
“My Dearest Friend,
“My Best Friend,”
“It gave me the greatest pleasure to receive a letter from my uncle dated at Paris; you are no longer at a formidable distance, and I may hope to see you in less than a fortnight. My poor cousin, how much you must have suffered! I expect to see you looking even more ill than when you quitted Geneva. This winter has been passed most miserably, tortured as I have been by anxious suspense; yet I hope to see peace in your countenance, and to find that your heart is not totally devoid of comfort and tranquillity.
“It was such a pleasure to get a letter from my uncle dated in Paris; you're not too far away anymore, and I hope to see you in less than two weeks. My poor cousin, you must have gone through so much! I expect you’ll look even worse than when you left Geneva. This winter has been really miserable for me, filled with anxious suspense; still, I hope to see peace on your face and find that your heart isn’t completely without comfort and peace.”
“Yet I fear that the same feelings now exist that made you so miserable a year ago, even perhaps augmented by time. I would not disturb you at this period, when so many misfortunes weigh upon you; but a conversation that I had with my uncle previous to his departure renders some explanation necessary before we meet.
“Yet I worry that the same feelings are still haunting you that made you so unhappy a year ago, maybe even worse with time. I wouldn’t want to bother you right now, with so many troubles weighing you down; however, a conversation I had with my uncle before he left requires some explanation before we meet.”
“Explanation! you may possibly say; what can Elizabeth have to explain? If you really say this, my questions are answered, and I have no more to do than to sign myself your affectionate cousin. But you are distant from me, and it is possible that you may dread, and yet be pleased with this explanation; and, in a probability of this being the case, I dare not any longer postpone writing what, during your absence, I have often wished to express to you, but have never had the courage to begin.
“Explanation! you might be wondering; what could Elizabeth possibly need to explain? If you truly feel this way, then my questions are answered, and all I have left to do is sign off as your affectionate cousin. However, you seem distant from me, and it’s possible that you may fear, yet also welcome, this explanation. Given the likelihood of this being true, I can’t put off writing what I have often wanted to express to you during your absence, but have never had the courage to start.”
“You well know, Victor, that our union had been the favourite plan of your parents ever since our infancy. We were told this when young, and taught to look forward to it as an event that would certainly take place. We were affectionate playfellows during childhood, and, I believe, dear and valued friends to one another as we grew older. But as brother and sister often entertain a lively affection towards each other, without desiring a more intimate union, may not such also be our case? Tell me, dearest Victor. Answer me, I conjure you, by our mutual happiness, with simple truth—Do you not love another?
“You know well, Victor, that our union has been your parents' favorite plan since we were kids. They told us this when we were young and encouraged us to look forward to it as something that would definitely happen. We were loving playmates during childhood, and, as we grew up, I believe we became dear and valued friends. But just as a brother and sister can have a strong affection for each other without wanting a closer relationship, couldn’t that also be the case for us? Tell me, dearest Victor. I urge you, for our mutual happiness, to answer me honestly—Do you not love someone else?
“You have travelled; you have spent several years of your life at Ingolstadt; and I confess to you, my friend, that when I saw you last autumn so unhappy, flying to solitude, from the society of every creature, I could not help supposing that you might regret our connexion, and believe yourself bound in honour to fulfil the wishes of your parents, although they opposed themselves to your inclinations. But this is false reasoning. I confess to you, my cousin, that I love you, and that in my airy dreams of futurity you have been my constant friend and companion. But it is your happiness I desire as well as my own, when I declare to you, that our marriage would render me eternally miserable, unless it were the dictate of your own free choice. Even now I weep to think, that, borne down as you are by the cruelest misfortunes, you may stifle, by the word honour, all hope of that love and happiness which would alone restore you to yourself. I, who have so interested an affection for you, may increase your miseries ten-fold, by being an obstacle to your wishes. Ah, Victor, be assured that your cousin and playmate has too sincere a love for you not to be made miserable by this supposition. Be happy, my friend; and if you obey me in this one request, remain satisfied that nothing on earth will have the power to interrupt my tranquillity.
"You've traveled; you've spent several years of your life at Ingolstadt; and I have to admit, my friend, that when I saw you so unhappy last autumn, retreating into solitude away from everyone, I couldn't help but think that you might regret our connection and feel obligated to fulfill your parents' wishes, even if they go against what you truly want. But that's flawed thinking. I confess to you, my cousin, that I love you, and in my dreams about the future, you've always been my close friend and companion. But I genuinely want your happiness as much as my own. I must tell you that our marriage would make me miserable unless it was entirely your choice. Even now, I feel sad thinking that, overwhelmed by your harsh misfortunes, you might suppress all hope of that love and happiness that could bring you back to yourself because of the word honor. I, who care for you so deeply, might increase your suffering tenfold by being an obstacle to your desires. Ah, Victor, know that your cousin and childhood friend loves you too sincerely to not be pained by this thought. Be happy, my friend, and if you heed this one request of mine, know that nothing on earth will disturb my peace."
“Do not let this letter disturb you; do not answer it to-morrow, or the next day, or even until you come, if it will give you pain. My uncle will send me news of your health; and if I see but one smile on your lips when we meet, occasioned by this or any other exertion of mine, I shall need no other happiness.
“Don’t let this letter upset you; don’t reply tomorrow, or the next day, or even until you arrive, if it will cause you any distress. My uncle will update me on your health; and if I see just one smile on your lips when we meet, whether from this letter or anything else I do, I won’t need any other happiness.”
“Elizabeth Lavenza.
“Elizabeth Lavenza.
“Geneva, May 18th, 17—.”
“Geneva, May 18th, 17__.”
This letter revived in my memory what I had before forgotten, the threat of the fiend—“I will be with you on your wedding-night!” Such was my sentence, and on that night would the dæmon employ every art to destroy me, and tear me from the glimpse of happiness which promised partly to console my sufferings. On that night he had determined to consummate his crimes by my death. Well, be it so; a deadly struggle would then assuredly take place, in which if he was victorious, I should be at peace, and his power over me be at an end. If he were vanquished, I should be a free man. Alas! what freedom? such as the peasant enjoys when his family have been massacred before his eyes, his cottage burnt, his lands laid waste, and he is turned adrift, homeless, pennyless, and alone, but free. Such would be my liberty, except that in my Elizabeth I possessed a treasure; alas! balanced by those horrors of remorse and guilt, which would pursue me until death.
This letter brought back memories of something I'd tried to forget—the threat of the fiend: “I will be with you on your wedding night!” That was my fate, and on that night the demon would do everything in its power to destroy me and rip away the glimpse of happiness that almost comforted my suffering. On that night, it had decided to fulfill its crimes by ensuring my death. Well, so be it; a deadly struggle would undoubtedly happen, where if he won, I would find peace, and his hold over me would finally end. If he lost, I would be free. But alas! What kind of freedom? The kind a peasant has when he witnesses his family being massacred, his home burned, his land ruined, and he's left homeless, broke, and alone—but free. That would be my freedom, except I had a treasure in Elizabeth; alas! It was overshadowed by the horrors of remorse and guilt that would haunt me until I die.
Sweet and beloved Elizabeth! I read and re-read her letter, and some softened feelings stole into my heart, and dared to whisper paradisaical dreams of love and joy; but the apple was already eaten, and the angel’s arm bared to drive me from all hope. Yet I would die to make her happy. If the monster executed his threat, death was inevitable; yet, again, I considered whether my marriage would hasten my fate. My destruction might indeed arrive a few months sooner; but if my torturer should suspect that I postponed it, influenced by his menaces, he would surely find other, and perhaps more dreadful means of revenge. He had vowed to be with me on my wedding-night, yet he did not consider that threat as binding him to peace in the mean time; for, as if to shew me that he was not yet satiated with blood, he had murdered Clerval immediately after the enunciation of his threats. I resolved, therefore, that if my immediate union with my cousin would conduce either to her’s or my father’s happiness, my adversary’s designs against my life should not retard it a single hour.
Sweet and cherished Elizabeth! I read and re-read her letter, and some soft feelings crept into my heart, daring to whisper blissful dreams of love and happiness; but the apple was already bitten, and the angel's arm was ready to push me away from all hope. Still, I would die to make her happy. If the monster carried out his threat, death was unavoidable; yet, I wondered whether my marriage would speed up my fate. My downfall might indeed come a few months sooner; but if my tormentor suspected that I was delaying it because of his threats, he would surely find other, possibly worse ways to take revenge. He had vowed to be with me on my wedding night, but he didn't see that threat as binding him to peace in the meantime; indeed, to prove that he was still hungry for blood, he murdered Clerval right after making his threats. I resolved, therefore, that if my immediate marriage to my cousin would contribute to either her or my father's happiness, my enemy's plans against my life wouldn't delay it even for a moment.
In this state of mind I wrote to Elizabeth. My letter was calm and affectionate. “I fear, my beloved girl,” I said, “little happiness remains for us on earth; yet all that I may one day enjoy is concentered in you. Chase away your idle fears; to you alone do I consecrate my life, and my endeavours for contentment. I have one secret, Elizabeth, a dreadful one; when revealed to you, it will chill your frame with horror, and then, far from being surprised at my misery, you will only wonder that I survive what I have endured. I will confide this tale of misery and terror to you the day after our marriage shall take place; for, my sweet cousin, there must be perfect confidence between us. But until then, I conjure you, do not mention or allude to it. This I most earnestly entreat, and I know you will comply.”
In this frame of mind, I wrote to Elizabeth. My letter was calm and loving. “I fear, my beloved girl,” I said, “little happiness is left for us in this world; yet all that I might one day enjoy is focused on you. Push away your unnecessary fears; to you alone do I dedicate my life and my efforts for happiness. I have one secret, Elizabeth, a terrible one; when I share it with you, it will chill you with horror, and instead of being surprised by my misery, you will only wonder how I have survived what I have gone through. I will share this story of suffering and fear with you the day after our wedding; for, my sweet cousin, there must be complete trust between us. But until then, I urge you, don’t mention or hint at it. I sincerely ask you this, and I know you will agree.”
In about a week after the arrival of Elizabeth’s letter, we returned to Geneva. My cousin welcomed me with warm affection; yet tears were in her eyes, as she beheld my emaciated frame and feverish cheeks. I saw a change in her also. She was thinner, and had lost much of that heavenly vivacity that had before charmed me; but her gentleness, and soft looks of compassion, made her a more fit companion for one blasted and miserable as I was.
In about a week after Elizabeth's letter arrived, we went back to Geneva. My cousin greeted me with warm affection, but there were tears in her eyes when she saw my thin frame and feverish cheeks. I noticed a change in her too. She was thinner and had lost much of the lively energy that had once captivated me, but her kindness and soft, compassionate looks made her a more suitable companion for someone as devastated and miserable as I was.
The tranquillity which I now enjoyed did not endure. Memory brought madness with it; and when I thought on what had passed, a real insanity possessed me; sometimes I was furious, and burnt with rage, sometimes low and despondent. I neither spoke or looked, but sat motionless, bewildered by the multitude of miseries that overcame me.
The calm I felt didn’t last. Memories brought chaos along with them; when I reflected on what had happened, a true madness took over me. Sometimes I was furious and filled with rage, other times I felt low and hopeless. I neither spoke nor looked around, but sat still, overwhelmed by the many miseries that weighed me down.
Elizabeth alone had the power to draw me from these fits; her gentle voice would soothe me when transported by passion, and inspire me with human feelings when sunk in torpor. She wept with me, and for me. When reason returned, she would remonstrate, and endeavour to inspire me with resignation. Ah! it is well for the unfortunate to be resigned, but for the guilty there is no peace. The agonies of remorse poison the luxury there is otherwise sometimes found in indulging the excess of grief.
Elizabeth was the only one who could pull me out of these fits; her calming voice would ease my passion-fueled turmoil and fill me with human emotions when I was feeling numb. She cried with me and for me. When I regained my senses, she would argue with me and try to help me accept my situation. It’s easy for the unfortunate to be accepting, but the guilty can never find peace. The pain of regret taints the occasional comfort that can come from indulging in sorrow.
Soon after my arrival my father spoke of my immediate marriage with my cousin. I remained silent.
Soon after I got here, my dad talked about me getting married right away to my cousin. I didn’t say anything.
“Have you, then, some other attachment?”
"Do you have some other connection?"
“None on earth. I love Elizabeth, and look forward to our union with delight. Let the day therefore be fixed; and on it I will consecrate myself, in life or death, to the happiness of my cousin.”
“None on earth. I love Elizabeth and can’t wait for our wedding. So let’s set the date; on that day, I’ll dedicate myself, whether in life or death, to my cousin’s happiness.”
“My dear Victor, do not speak thus. Heavy misfortunes have befallen us; but let us only cling closer to what remains, and transfer our love for those whom we have lost to those who yet live. Our circle will be small, but bound close by the ties of affection and mutual misfortune. And when time shall have softened your despair, new and dear objects of care will be born to replace those of whom we have been so cruelly deprived.”
"My dear Victor, please don’t say that. We've faced some tough times, but let’s hold onto what we have left and shift our love for those we've lost to those who are still here. Our group may be small, but it will be tightly knit with love and shared hardships. And when time has eased your pain, new and cherished people will come into our lives to take the place of those we've lost."
Such were the lessons of my father. But to me the remembrance of the threat returned: nor can you wonder, that, omnipotent as the fiend had yet been in his deeds of blood, I should almost regard him as invincible; and that when he had pronounced the words, “I shall be with you on your wedding-night,” I should regard the threatened fate as unavoidable. But death was no evil to me, if the loss of Elizabeth were balanced with it; and I therefore, with a contented and even cheerful countenance, agreed with my father, that if my cousin would consent, the ceremony should take place in ten days, and thus put, as I imagined, the seal to my fate.
Those were my father's lessons. But for me, the memory of the threat lingered: you can't blame me for feeling that, as powerful as the fiend had been in his bloody acts, I would see him as unstoppable; and when he said, “I shall be with you on your wedding night,” I believed the impending doom was inevitable. But death didn't frighten me if it meant losing Elizabeth; so, with a calm and even cheerful expression, I agreed with my father that if my cousin was willing, the ceremony would happen in ten days, thinking I was sealing my fate.
Great God! if for one instant I had thought what might be the hellish intention of my fiendish adversary, I would rather have banished myself for ever from my native country, and wandered a friendless outcast over the earth, than have consented to this miserable marriage. But, as if possessed of magic powers, the monster had blinded me to his real intentions; and when I thought that I prepared only my own death, I hastened that of a far dearer victim.
Great God! If I had even for a moment considered the evil intentions of my wicked enemy, I would have chosen to exile myself forever from my home and become a friendless wanderer rather than agree to this dreadful marriage. But, as if he had magical powers, the monster had blinded me to his true motives; and when I thought I was only sealing my own fate, I actually hastened the demise of someone much more precious to me.
As the period fixed for our marriage drew nearer, whether from cowardice or a prophetic feeling, I felt my heart sink within me. But I concealed my feelings by an appearance of hilarity, that brought smiles and joy to the countenance of my father, but hardly deceived the ever-watchful and nicer eye of Elizabeth. She looked forward to our union with placid contentment, not unmingled with a little fear, which past misfortunes had impressed, that what now appeared certain and tangible happiness, might soon dissipate into an airy dream, and leave no trace but deep and everlasting regret.
As the date for our wedding approached, I felt my heart sink, whether out of fear or some instinctive feeling. I hid my emotions behind a cheerful façade, which brought smiles and happiness to my father's face, but barely fooled Elizabeth, who always noticed things. She looked forward to our marriage with calm happiness, though not without a touch of worry, shaped by past misfortunes, that what now seemed like a certain and real happiness might quickly fade into nothing more than a fleeting dream, leaving behind only deep and lasting regret.
Preparations were made for the event; congratulatory visits were received; and all wore a smiling appearance. I shut up, as well as I could, in my own heart the anxiety that preyed there, and entered with seeming earnestness into the plans of my father, although they might only serve as the decorations of my tragedy. A house was purchased for us near Cologny, by which we should enjoy the pleasures of the country, and yet be so near Geneva as to see my father every day; who would still reside within the walls, for the benefit of Ernest, that he might follow his studies at the schools.
Preparations were made for the event; we welcomed congratulatory visits; and everyone looked cheerful. I did my best to hide the anxiety that weighed on my heart and joined in my father's plans with a serious attitude, even though they might just be the backdrop to my own tragedy. A house was bought for us near Cologny, so we could enjoy the countryside while still being close enough to Geneva to see my father every day. He would continue to live within the city walls for Ernest's sake, allowing him to continue his studies at the schools.
In the mean time I took every precaution to defend my person, in case the fiend should openly attack me. I carried pistols and a dagger constantly about me, and was ever on the watch to prevent artifice; and by these means gained a greater degree of tranquillity. Indeed, as the period approached, the threat appeared more as a delusion, not to be regarded as worthy to disturb my peace, while the happiness I hoped for in my marriage wore a greater appearance of certainty, as the day fixed for its solemnization drew nearer, and I heard it continually spoken of as an occurrence which no accident could possibly prevent.
In the meantime, I took every precaution to protect myself in case the fiend decided to attack me openly. I always carried pistols and a dagger and stayed alert to prevent any tricks. Because of this, I felt a greater sense of calm. As the date approached, the threat began to seem more like a delusion, not worth disturbing my peace. At the same time, the happiness I anticipated in my marriage felt more certain as the day for the ceremony came closer, and I heard it talked about as if nothing could possibly stop it from happening.
Elizabeth seemed happy; my tranquil demeanour contributed greatly to calm her mind. But on the day that was to fulfil my wishes and my destiny, she was melancholy, and a presentiment of evil pervaded her; and perhaps also she thought of the dreadful secret, which I had promised to reveal to her the following day. My father was in the mean time overjoyed, and, in the bustle of preparation, only observed in the melancholy of his niece the diffidence of a bride.
Elizabeth seemed happy; my calm demeanor helped soothe her mind. But on the day that was meant to fulfill my wishes and my destiny, she was sad, and a sense of impending doom surrounded her; maybe she was also thinking about the terrible secret I had promised to share with her the next day. Meanwhile, my father was overjoyed, and in the midst of the preparations, he only noticed in his niece's sadness the nervousness of a bride.
After the ceremony was performed, a large party assembled at my father’s; but it was agreed that Elizabeth and I should pass the afternoon and night at Evian, and return to Cologny the next morning. As the day was fair, and the wind favourable, we resolved to go by water.
After the ceremony was over, a big party gathered at my dad’s place; but we decided that Elizabeth and I would spend the afternoon and night at Evian, returning to Cologny the next morning. Since the weather was nice and the wind was on our side, we chose to go by boat.
Those were the last moments of my life during which I enjoyed the feeling of happiness. We passed rapidly along: the sun was hot, but we were sheltered from its rays by a kind of canopy, while we enjoyed the beauty of the scene, sometimes on one side of the lake, where we saw Mont Salêve, the pleasant banks of Montalêgre, and at a distance, surmounting all, the beautiful Mont Blânc, and the assemblage of snowy mountains that in vain endeavour to emulate her; sometimes coasting the opposite banks, we saw the mighty Jura opposing its dark side to the ambition that would quit its native country, and an almost insurmountable barrier to the invader who should wish to enslave it.
Those were the last moments of my life when I truly felt happiness. We moved quickly along: the sun was hot, but we were protected from its rays by a kind of canopy, and we took in the beauty of the scene. Sometimes we were on one side of the lake, where we saw Mont Salêve, the lovely banks of Montalêgre, and in the distance, towering above all, the stunning Mont Blânc and the cluster of snowy mountains that struggled to compete with her; other times, as we passed along the opposite banks, we saw the powerful Jura presenting its dark side to the aspirations of those who would leave their homeland, serving as a nearly impassable barrier to any invader looking to conquer it.
I took the hand of Elizabeth: “You are sorrowful, my love. Ah! if you knew what I have suffered, and what I may yet endure, you would endeavour to let me taste the quiet, and freedom from despair, that this one day at least permits me to enjoy.”
I took Elizabeth's hand: “You seem sad, my love. Oh! If you knew what I’ve been through and what I might still face, you would try to let me experience the peace and relief from despair that this one day at least allows me to enjoy.”
“Be happy, my dear Victor,” replied Elizabeth; “there is, I hope, nothing to distress you; and be assured that if a lively joy is not painted in my face, my heart is contented. Something whispers to me not to depend too much on the prospect that is opened before us; but I will not listen to such a sinister voice. Observe how fast we move along, and how the clouds which sometimes obscure, and sometimes rise above the dome of Mont Blânc, render this scene of beauty still more interesting. Look also at the innumerable fish that are swimming in the clear waters, where we can distinguish every pebble that lies at the bottom. What a divine day! how happy and serene all nature appears!”
“Be happy, my dear Victor,” Elizabeth replied; “I hope there’s nothing bothering you; and rest assured that even if joy isn’t written all over my face, my heart is content. Something tells me not to rely too much on the possibilities ahead of us, but I won’t listen to such a negative voice. Just look at how quickly we’re moving and how the clouds that sometimes cover and sometimes float above Mont Blanc make this beautiful scene even more captivating. Also, check out the countless fish swimming in the clear water, where we can see every pebble on the bottom. What a glorious day! How happy and peaceful everything in nature looks!”
Thus Elizabeth endeavoured to divert her thoughts and mine from all reflection upon melancholy subjects. But her temper was fluctuating; joy for a few instants shone in her eyes, but it continually gave place to distraction and reverie.
Thus, Elizabeth tried to shift her thoughts and mine away from anything that made us feel sad. But her mood was inconsistent; happiness would light up her eyes for a moment, but it soon turned into distraction and daydreaming.
The sun sunk lower in the heavens; we passed the river Drance, and observed its path through the chasms of the higher, and the glens of the lower hills. The Alps here come closer to the lake, and we approached the amphitheatre of mountains which forms its eastern boundary. The spire of Evian shone under the woods that surrounded it, and the range of mountain above mountain by which it was overhung.
The sun dipped lower in the sky as we crossed the river Drance, watching its course through the canyons of the high hills and the valleys of the lower hills. The Alps draw nearer to the lake here, and we got closer to the circle of mountains that makes up its eastern edge. The spire of Evian gleamed beneath the trees around it, and the layers of mountains stacked above it.
The wind, which had hitherto carried us along with amazing rapidity, sunk at sunset to a light breeze; the soft air just ruffled the water, and caused a pleasant motion among the trees as we approached the shore, from which it wafted the most delightful scent of flowers and hay. The sun sunk beneath the horizon as we landed; and as I touched the shore, I felt those cares and fears revive, which soon were to clasp me, and cling to me for ever.
The wind, which had been pushing us forward with incredible speed, died down at sunset to a gentle breeze; the soft air barely disturbed the water and created a nice movement among the trees as we got closer to the shore, where it carried the most delightful fragrance of flowers and hay. The sun dipped below the horizon as we landed; and as I stepped onto the shore, I felt those worries and fears come back, which were soon to grip me and hold on to me forever.
CHAPTER VI.
It was eight o’clock when we landed; we walked for a short time on the shore, enjoying the transitory light, and then retired to the inn, and contemplated the lovely scene of waters, woods, and mountains, obscured in darkness, yet still displaying their black outlines.
It was eight o’clock when we landed; we walked for a bit along the shore, soaking in the fleeting light, and then went back to the inn, reflecting on the beautiful sight of the water, woods, and mountains, shrouded in darkness, yet still showing their dark shapes.
The wind, which had fallen in the south, now rose with great violence in the west. The moon had reached her summit in the heavens, and was beginning to descend; the clouds swept across it swifter than the flight of the vulture, and dimmed her rays, while the lake reflected the scene of the busy heavens, rendered still busier by the restless waves that were beginning to rise. Suddenly a heavy storm of rain descended.
The wind, which had calmed in the south, now picked up fiercely in the west. The moon had reached its highest point in the sky and was starting to set; clouds raced across it faster than a vulture in flight, dimming its light, while the lake mirrored the bustling sky, made even more active by the choppy waves beginning to rise. Suddenly, a heavy downpour of rain fell.
I had been calm during the day; but so soon as night obscured the shapes of objects, a thousand fears arose in my mind. I was anxious and watchful, while my right hand grasped a pistol which was hidden in my bosom; every sound terrified me; but I resolved that I would sell my life dearly, and not relax the impending conflict until my own life, or that of my adversary, were extinguished.
I had been calm during the day, but as soon as night covered everything, a thousand fears flooded my mind. I felt anxious and alert, with my right hand gripping a pistol hidden in my chest; every sound sent a chill through me. Still, I decided I would fight hard and not give up until either my life or my enemy's was over.
Elizabeth observed my agitation for some time in timid and fearful silence; at length she said, “What is it that agitates you, my dear Victor? What is it you fear?”
Elizabeth watched my distress for a while in quiet and anxious silence; finally, she said, “What’s troubling you, my dear Victor? What are you afraid of?”
“Oh! peace, peace, my love,” replied I, “this night, and all will be safe: but this night is dreadful, very dreadful.”
“Oh! Calm down, my love,” I replied, “tonight everything will be okay: but tonight is terrifying, really terrifying.”
I passed an hour in this state of mind, when suddenly I reflected how dreadful the combat which I momentarily expected would be to my wife, and I earnestly entreated her to retire, resolving not to join her until I had obtained some knowledge as to the situation of my enemy.
I spent an hour in this state of mind when suddenly I thought about how horrible the fight I was expecting would be for my wife. I seriously begged her to leave, deciding not to join her until I had some information about my enemy's situation.
She left me, and I continued some time walking up and down the passages of the house, and inspecting every corner that might afford a retreat to my adversary. But I discovered no trace of him, and was beginning to conjecture that some fortunate chance had intervened to prevent the execution of his menaces; when suddenly I heard a shrill and dreadful scream. It came from the room into which Elizabeth had retired. As I heard it, the whole truth rushed into my mind, my arms dropped, the motion of every muscle and fibre was suspended; I could feel the blood trickling in my veins, and tingling in the extremities of my limbs. This state lasted but for an instant; the scream was repeated, and I rushed into the room.
She left me, and I spent some time pacing the halls of the house, checking every corner that might hide my enemy. But I didn’t find any trace of him and began to think that some lucky chance had stopped him from carrying out his threats; when suddenly, I heard a piercing and terrifying scream. It came from the room where Elizabeth had gone. As I heard it, the full truth hit me, my arms dropped, and every muscle in my body went stiff; I could feel the blood trickling in my veins and tingling in my limbs. This state lasted only a moment; the scream came again, and I rushed into the room.
Great God! why did I not then expire! Why am I here to relate the destruction of the best hope, and the purest creature of earth. She was there, lifeless and inanimate, thrown across the bed, her head hanging down, and her pale and distorted features half covered by her hair. Every where I turn I see the same figure—her bloodless arms and relaxed form flung by the murderer on its bridal bier. Could I behold this, and live? Alas! life is obstinate, and clings closest where it is most hated. For a moment only did I lose recollection; I fainted.
Great God! Why didn’t I just die then! Why am I here to tell the story of the loss of the greatest hope and the purest soul on earth? She was there, lifeless and still, lying across the bed, her head hanging down, her pale and twisted features half-covered by her hair. Everywhere I look, I see the same sight—her bloodless arms and limp body thrown by the killer on her bridal bed. How could I witness this and still be alive? Alas! Life is stubborn and clings hardest where it’s most despised. For just a moment, I lost touch with reality; I fainted.
When I recovered, I found myself surrounded by the people of the inn; their countenances expressed a breathless terror: but the horror of others appeared only as a mockery, a shadow of the feelings that oppressed me. I escaped from them to the room where lay the body of Elizabeth, my love, my wife, so lately living, so dear, so worthy. She had been moved from the posture in which I had first beheld her; and now, as she lay, her head upon her arm, and a handkerchief thrown across her face and neck, I might have supposed her asleep. I rushed towards her, and embraced her with ardour; but the deathly languor and coldness of the limbs told me, that what I now held in my arms had ceased to be the Elizabeth whom I had loved and cherished. The murderous mark of the fiend’s grasp was on her neck, and the breath had ceased to issue from her lips.
When I woke up, I found myself surrounded by the people from the inn; their faces showed a breathless fear, but the horror of others felt like a mockery, just a shadow of the feelings weighing down on me. I escaped from them to the room where the body of Elizabeth, my love, my wife, lay—so recently alive, so dear, so deserving. She had been moved from the position in which I had first seen her; now, as she lay with her head on her arm and a handkerchief draped over her face and neck, I might have thought she was just asleep. I rushed towards her and held her tightly, but the deathly limpness and coldness of her body made it clear that what I held in my arms was no longer the Elizabeth I had loved and cherished. The murderous mark of the fiend’s grip was on her neck, and the breath had stopped coming from her lips.
While I still hung over her in the agony of despair, I happened to look up. The windows of the room had before been darkened; and I felt a kind of panic on seeing the pale yellow light of the moon illuminate the chamber. The shutters had been thrown back; and, with a sensation of horror not to be described, I saw at the open window a figure the most hideous and abhorred. A grin was on the face of the monster; he seemed to jeer, as with his fiendish finger he pointed towards the corpse of my wife. I rushed towards the window, and drawing a pistol from my bosom, shot; but he eluded me, leaped from his station, and, running with the swiftness of lightning, plunged into the lake.
While I was still consumed by despair, I happened to look up. The windows of the room had been darkened before; and I felt a sense of panic as the pale yellow light of the moon flooded the room. The shutters were wide open; and, with an indescribable feeling of horror, I saw at the open window a figure that was the most grotesque and repulsive. A grin twisted the face of the monster; he seemed to mock me, pointing his fiendish finger at the corpse of my wife. I rushed toward the window, pulled a pistol from my chest, and fired; but he dodged me, leaped from his position, and, moving as fast as lightning, plunged into the lake.
The report of the pistol brought a crowd into the room. I pointed to the spot where he had disappeared, and we followed the track with boats; nets were cast, but in vain. After passing several hours, we returned hopeless, most of my companions believing it to have been a form conjured by my fancy. After having landed, they proceeded to search the country, parties going in different directions among the woods and vines.
The sound of the gunshot attracted a crowd into the room. I pointed to the spot where he had vanished, and we traced the path with boats; nets were thrown in, but it was pointless. After spending several hours, we returned feeling defeated, with most of my companions thinking it might have just been a figment of my imagination. Once we landed, they went off to search the area, with groups heading in different directions through the woods and vines.
I did not accompany them; I was exhausted: a film covered my eyes, and my skin was parched with the heat of fever. In this state I lay on a bed, hardly conscious of what had happened; my eyes wandered round the room, as if to seek something that I had lost.
I didn’t go with them; I was worn out: a haze clouded my eyes, and my skin was dry from the heat of the fever. In this condition, I lay on a bed, barely aware of what was going on; my eyes scanned the room, as if they were looking for something I had lost.
At length I remembered that my father would anxiously expect the return of Elizabeth and myself, and that I must return alone. This reflection brought tears into my eyes, and I wept for a long time; but my thoughts rambled to various subjects, reflecting on my misfortunes, and their cause. I was bewildered in a cloud of wonder and horror. The death of William, the execution of Justine, the murder of Clerval, and lastly of my wife; even at that moment I knew not that my only remaining friends were safe from the malignity of the fiend; my father even now might be writhing under his grasp, and Ernest might be dead at his feet. This idea made me shudder, and recalled me to action. I started up, and resolved to return to Geneva with all possible speed.
Eventually, I remembered that my father would be anxiously waiting for Elizabeth and me to return, and that I had to go back alone. This thought brought tears to my eyes, and I cried for a long time; but my mind wandered to different topics, reflecting on my misfortunes and what caused them. I was lost in a haze of confusion and horror. The death of William, the execution of Justine, the murder of Clerval, and finally, my wife; even at that moment, I didn’t know if my only remaining friends were safe from the evil of the monster; my father could be suffering in its grip, and Ernest might be dead at its feet. This thought made me shudder and snapped me back to reality. I jumped up and decided to return to Geneva as quickly as possible.
There were no horses to be procured, and I must return by the lake; but the wind was unfavourable, and the rain fell in torrents. However, it was hardly morning, and I might reasonably hope to arrive by night. I hired men to row, and took an oar myself, for I had always experienced relief from mental torment in bodily exercise. But the overflowing misery I now felt, and the excess of agitation that I endured, rendered me incapable of any exertion. I threw down the oar; and, leaning my head upon my hands, gave way to every gloomy idea that arose. If I looked up, I saw the scenes which were familiar to me in my happier time, and which I had contemplated but the day before in the company of her who was now but a shadow and a recollection. Tears streamed from my eyes. The rain had ceased for a moment, and I saw the fish play in the waters as they had done a few hours before; they had then been observed by Elizabeth. Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change. The sun might shine, or the clouds might lour; but nothing could appear to me as it had done the day before. A fiend had snatched from me every hope of future happiness: no creature had ever been so miserable as I was; so frightful an event is single in the history of man.
There were no horses available, so I had to go back around the lake; but the wind was against me, and it was pouring rain. Still, it was barely morning, and I could reasonably hope to arrive by night. I hired some guys to row, and I took an oar myself because I'd always found physical activity helped ease my mental struggles. But the overwhelming sadness I felt and the intense agitation I was going through left me unable to do anything. I threw down the oar and, resting my head on my hands, let myself dwell on all the dark thoughts that came to me. When I looked up, I saw the places that had once brought me joy, which I had just seen the day before with her, who was now just a shadow and a memory. Tears streamed down my face. The rain had stopped for a moment, and I saw the fish swimming in the water, just like they had a few hours earlier; Elizabeth had seen them then. Nothing is as painful to the human mind as a sudden and drastic change. The sun might shine, or the clouds might frown; but nothing seemed the same to me as it had the day before. A demon had taken away every hope of future happiness: no one had ever been as miserable as I was; such a horrific event is unique in the history of mankind.
But why should I dwell upon the incidents that followed this last overwhelming event. Mine has been a tale of horrors; I have reached their acme, and what I must now relate can but be tedious to you. Know that, one by one, my friends were snatched away; I was left desolate. My own strength is exhausted; and I must tell, in a few words, what remains of my hideous narration.
But why should I focus on the events that happened after this last overwhelming moment? My story has been filled with horrors; I've reached the peak of them, and what I have left to share will likely just bore you. Just know that, one by one, my friends were taken from me; I was left alone. I have no strength left, and I must briefly share what’s left of my terrible tale.
I arrived at Geneva. My father and Ernest yet lived; but the former sunk under the tidings that I bore. I see him now, excellent and venerable old man! his eyes wandered in vacancy, for they had lost their charm and their delight—his niece, his more than daughter, whom he doated on with all that affection which a man feels, who, in the decline of life, having few affections, clings more earnestly to those that remain. Cursed, cursed be the fiend that brought misery on his grey hairs, and doomed him to waste in wretchedness! He could not live under the horrors that were accumulated around him; an apoplectic fit was brought on, and in a few days he died in my arms.
I arrived in Geneva. My father and Ernest were still alive, but the news I brought overwhelmed my father. I can picture him now, such a dignified and wise old man! His eyes were empty, having lost their spark and joy—his niece, his beloved daughter figure, whom he cherished with all the love a man feels who, in his later years, clings more tightly to the few relationships he has left. Damn the monster who brought this suffering upon his gray hairs and condemned him to a life of misery! He couldn’t bear the horrors that surrounded him; a stroke hit him, and within a few days, he died in my arms.
What then became of me? I know not; I lost sensation, and chains and darkness were the only objects that pressed upon me. Sometimes, indeed, I dreamt that I wandered in flowery meadows and pleasant vales with the friends of my youth; but awoke, and found myself in a dungeon. Melancholy followed, but by degrees I gained a clear conception of my miseries and situation, and was then released from my prison. For they had called me mad; and during many months, as I understood, a solitary cell had been my habitation.
What happened to me? I don’t know; I lost all feeling, and all that surrounded me was chains and darkness. Sometimes, I would dream that I was wandering in beautiful meadows and lovely valleys with my childhood friends; but then I would wake up and find myself in a dungeon. Sadness followed, but gradually I began to understand my suffering and situation, and then I was freed from my prison. They had called me insane; and for many months, as I learned, a solitary cell had been my home.
But liberty had been a useless gift to me had I not, as I awakened to reason, at the same time awakened to revenge. As the memory of past misfortunes pressed upon me, I began to reflect on their cause—the monster whom I had created, the miserable dæmon whom I had sent abroad into the world for my destruction. I was possessed by a maddening rage when I thought of him, and desired and ardently prayed that I might have him within my grasp to wreak a great and signal revenge on his cursed head.
But freedom would have meant nothing to me if, as I started to think clearly, I didn't also feel the urge for revenge. As the memories of my past troubles weighed on me, I began to think about what caused them—the monster I had made, the wretched creature I had unleashed into the world to destroy me. I was consumed by an intense anger when I thought of him and desperately wished and prayed for the chance to have him in my hands so I could take a significant and notable revenge on his damned head.
Nor did my hate long confine itself to useless wishes; I began to reflect on the best means of securing him; and for this purpose, about a month after my release, I repaired to a criminal judge in the town, and told him that I had an accusation to make; that I knew the destroyer of my family; and that I required him to exert his whole authority for the apprehension of the murderer.
Nor did my hatred stay limited to pointless wishes; I started to think about the best way to catch him. To that end, about a month after my release, I went to a criminal judge in town and told him that I had an accusation to make; that I knew the person who destroyed my family; and that I needed him to use all his power to catch the murderer.
The magistrate listened to me with attention and kindness: “Be assured, sir,” said he, “no pains or exertions on my part shall be spared to discover the villain.”
The magistrate listened to me carefully and kindly: “Rest assured, sir,” he said, “I will spare no effort to find the culprit.”
“I thank you,” replied I; “listen, therefore, to the deposition that I have to make. It is indeed a tale so strange, that I should fear you would not credit it, were there not something in truth which, however wonderful, forces conviction. The story is too connected to be mistaken for a dream, and I have no motive for falsehood.” My manner, as I thus addressed him, was impressive, but calm; I had formed in my own heart a resolution to pursue my destroyer to death; and this purpose quieted my agony, and provisionally reconciled me to life. I now related my history briefly, but with firmness and precision, marking the dates with accuracy, and never deviating into invective or exclamation.
“I thank you,” I replied; “so please listen to what I have to share. It’s such a strange story that I’d worry you wouldn’t believe it if it weren’t for some undeniable truths that force you to accept it, no matter how incredible it may seem. The account is too coherent to confuse with a dream, and I have no reason to lie.” My tone was serious yet calm as I spoke to him; I had made a firm decision in my heart to pursue my destroyer to the end, and this determination eased my pain and temporarily made me accept life. I shared my story briefly but with confidence and precision, clearly marking the dates and avoiding any anger or outbursts.
The magistrate appeared at first perfectly incredulous, but as I continued he became more attentive and interested; I saw him sometimes shudder with horror, at others a lively surprise, unmingled with disbelief, was painted on his countenance.
The magistrate initially seemed completely skeptical, but as I went on, he became more engaged and curious; I saw him at times shudder with horror, while at other moments a genuine surprise, free of disbelief, was clearly visible on his face.
When I had concluded my narration, I said. “This is the being whom I accuse, and for whose detection and punishment I call upon you to exert your whole power. It is your duty as a magistrate, and I believe and hope that your feelings as a man will not revolt from the execution of those functions on this occasion.”
When I finished my story, I said, “This is the person I’m accusing, and I’m asking you to use all your power to find and punish them. It’s your responsibility as a magistrate, and I trust that your sense of humanity will support your role in this situation.”
This address caused a considerable change in the physiognomy of my auditor. He had heard my story with that half kind of belief that is given to a tale of spirits and supernatural events; but when he was called upon to act officially in consequence, the whole tide of his incredulity returned. He, however, answered mildly, “I would willingly afford you every aid in your pursuit; but the creature of whom you speak appears to have powers which would put all my exertions to defiance. Who can follow an animal which can traverse the sea of ice, and inhabit caves and dens, where no man would venture to intrude? Besides, some months have elapsed since the commission of his crimes, and no one can conjecture to what place he has wandered, or what region he may now inhabit.”
This speech led to a significant shift in the expression of my listener. He had listened to my story with that sort of skeptical belief often given to tales of spirits and supernatural events; but when he was asked to take official action, all of his doubt came rushing back. Still, he responded calmly, “I would gladly help you in your pursuit; but the creature you’re talking about seems to have abilities that would thwart all my efforts. Who can track an animal that can cross the ice sea and live in caves and dens where no one would dare to go? Plus, several months have passed since he committed his crimes, and no one can guess where he might have gone or what area he could be living in now.”
“I do not doubt that he hovers near the spot which I inhabit; and if he has indeed taken refuge in the Alps, he may be hunted like the chamois, and destroyed as a beast of prey. But I perceive your thoughts: you do not credit my narrative, and do not intend to pursue my enemy with the punishment which is his desert.”
“I have no doubt that he’s lurking close to where I am; and if he really has sought refuge in the Alps, he can be tracked down like a chamois and killed like a wild animal. But I can tell what you’re thinking: you don’t believe my story and don’t plan to seek out my enemy for the punishment he deserves.”
As I spoke, rage sparkled in my eyes; the magistrate was intimidated; “You are mistaken,” said he, “I will exert myself; and if it is in my power to seize the monster, be assured that he shall suffer punishment proportionate to his crimes. But I fear, from what you have yourself described to be his properties, that this will prove impracticable, and that, while every proper measure is pursued, you should endeavour to make up your mind to disappointment.”
As I spoke, anger glinted in my eyes; the magistrate looked uneasy. “You’re wrong,” he said, “I will do everything I can; if it’s within my power to capture the monster, you can be sure he’ll face punishment that fits his crimes. But I worry, based on what you’ve described about him, that this may not be possible, and while all the right steps are taken, you should prepare yourself for disappointment.”
“That cannot be; but all that I can say will be of little avail. My revenge is of no moment to you; yet, while I allow it to be a vice, I confess that it is the devouring and only passion of my soul. My rage is unspeakable, when I reflect that the murderer, whom I have turned loose upon society, still exists. You refuse my just demand: I have but one resource; and I devote myself, either in my life or death, to his destruction.”
“That can’t be; but all I can say won’t really make much difference. My desire for revenge doesn’t matter to you; yet, while I admit it’s a flaw, I confess it’s the all-consuming passion of my soul. My anger is beyond words when I think about the murderer I’ve let loose on society still being alive. You’ve turned down my rightful request: I have only one option left; I’m committing myself, whether in life or death, to his destruction.”
I trembled with excess of agitation as I said this; there was a phrenzy in my manner, and something, I doubt not, of that haughty fierceness, which the martyrs of old are said to have possessed. But to a Genevan magistrate, whose mind was occupied by far other ideas than those of devotion and heroism, this elevation of mind had much the appearance of madness. He endeavoured to soothe me as a nurse does a child, and reverted to my tale as the effects of delirium.
I shook with overwhelming agitation as I said this; there was a frenzy in my behavior, and undoubtedly a hint of that proud fierceness that the martyrs of the past were said to have. But to a Genevan magistrate, whose thoughts were focused on much different concerns than devotion and heroism, this elevated state of mind seemed very much like madness. He tried to calm me, like a nurse does a child, and dismissed my story as just the effects of delirium.
“Man,” I cried, “how ignorant art thou in thy pride of wisdom! Cease; you know not what it is you say.”
“Man,” I exclaimed, “how ignorant you are in your pride of knowledge! Stop; you don't even realize what you're saying.”
I broke from the house angry and disturbed, and retired to meditate on some other mode of action.
I stormed out of the house, feeling angry and unsettled, and took some time to think about a different course of action.
CHAPTER VII.
My present situation was one in which all voluntary thought was swallowed up and lost. I was hurried away by fury; revenge alone endowed me with strength and composure; it modelled my feelings, and allowed me to be calculating and calm, at periods when otherwise delirium or death would have been my portion.
My current situation had completely consumed all my voluntary thoughts. I was taken over by rage; only revenge gave me strength and composure. It shaped my emotions and allowed me to be rational and collected, at times when otherwise I would have been in a state of delirium or faced death.
My first resolution was to quit Geneva for ever; my country, which, when I was happy and beloved, was dear to me, now, in my adversity, became hateful. I provided myself with a sum of money, together with a few jewels which had belonged to my mother, and departed.
My first resolution was to leave Geneva for good; my country, which once felt dear to me when I was happy and loved, now felt repulsive in my time of struggle. I gathered some money along with a few pieces of jewelry that had belonged to my mother and left.
And now my wanderings began, which are to cease but with life. I have traversed a vast portion of the earth, and have endured all the hardships which travellers, in deserts and barbarous countries, are wont to meet. How I have lived I hardly know; many times have I stretched my failing limbs upon the sandy plain, and prayed for death. But revenge kept me alive; I dared not die, and leave my adversary in being.
And now my journey began, which will only end with my life. I’ve traveled a huge part of the world and faced all the challenges that travelers usually encounter in deserts and wild countries. I'm not even sure how I’ve survived; many times I've collapsed on the sandy ground and wished for death. But revenge kept me going; I couldn't die and leave my enemy alive.
When I quitted Geneva, my first labour was to gain some clue by which I might trace the steps of my fiendish enemy. But my plan was unsettled; and I wandered many hours around the confines of the town, uncertain what path I should pursue. As night approached, I found myself at the entrance of the cemetery where William, Elizabeth, and my father, reposed. I entered it, and approached the tomb which marked their graves. Every thing was silent, except the leaves of the trees, which were gently agitated by the wind; the night was nearly dark; and the scene would have been solemn and affecting even to an uninterested observer. The spirits of the departed seemed to flit around, and to cast a shadow, which was felt but seen not, around the head of the mourner.
When I left Geneva, my first task was to find a way to track down my cruel enemy. However, my plan was unclear, and I spent hours wandering around the outskirts of the town, unsure of which direction to take. As night fell, I found myself at the entrance of the cemetery where William, Elizabeth, and my father rested. I went in and approached the tomb that marked their graves. Everything was quiet, except for the leaves of the trees, gently stirred by the wind; the night was almost completely dark, and the scene would have been solemn and moving even to someone with no connection to it. It felt like the spirits of the departed were floating around, casting a shadow—something you could sense but not see—over the head of the mourner.
The deep grief which this scene had at first excited quickly gave way to rage and despair. They were dead, and I lived; their murderer also lived, and to destroy him I must drag out my weary existence. I knelt on the grass, and kissed the earth, and with quivering lips exclaimed, “By the sacred earth on which I kneel, by the shades that wander near me, by the deep and eternal grief that I feel, I swear; and by thee, O Night, and by the spirits that preside over thee, I swear to pursue the dæmon, who caused this misery, until he or I shall perish in mortal conflict. For this purpose I will preserve my life: to execute this dear revenge, will I again behold the sun, and tread the green herbage of earth, which otherwise should vanish from my eyes for ever. And I call on you, spirits of the dead; and on you, wandering ministers of vengeance, to aid and conduct me in my work. Let the cursed and hellish monster drink deep of agony; let him feel the despair that now torments me.”
The deep grief that this situation initially stirred within me quickly turned into rage and despair. They were dead, and I was still alive; their killer was also alive, and to destroy him, I had to drag out my weary existence. I knelt on the grass, kissed the earth, and with trembling lips declared, “By the sacred ground beneath me, by the shadows that linger near, by the profound and endless grief I feel, I swear; and by you, O Night, and the spirits that govern you, I swear to hunt down the demon who caused this suffering, until either he or I fall in a mortal struggle. For this reason, I will keep myself alive: to achieve this precious revenge, I will once again see the sun and walk on the green grass of the earth, which otherwise would disappear from my sight forever. And I call upon you, spirits of the dead; and you, wandering agents of vengeance, to help and guide me in my mission. Let the cursed and hellish monster experience deep agony; let him feel the despair that now torments me.”
I had begun my adjuration with solemnity, and an awe which almost assured me that the shades of my murdered friends heard and approved my devotion; but the furies possessed me as I concluded, and rage choaked my utterance.
I started my plea with seriousness and a sense of reverence that nearly convinced me the spirits of my murdered friends were listening and approving my dedication; but by the time I finished, fury took over, and my anger choked my words.
I was answered through the stillness of night by a loud and fiendish laugh. It rung on my ears long and heavily; the mountains re-echoed it, and I felt as if all hell surrounded me with mockery and laughter. Surely in that moment I should have been possessed by phrenzy, and have destroyed my miserable existence, but that my vow was heard, and that I was reserved for vengeance. The laughter died away: when a well-known and abhorred voice, apparently close to my ear, addressed me in an audible whisper—“I am satisfied: miserable wretch! you have determined to live, and I am satisfied.”
I was jolted from the stillness of the night by a loud, wicked laugh. It echoed in my ears for a long time; the mountains echoed it back, and I felt like all of hell was surrounding me with mockery and laughter. In that moment, I should have been overwhelmed with madness and ended my miserable life, but I remembered my vow and that I was meant for revenge. The laughter faded away when a familiar and hated voice, seemingly right next to me, spoke in a whisper—“I am satisfied: pathetic fool! You’ve chosen to live, and I am satisfied.”
I darted towards the spot from which the sound proceeded; but the devil eluded my grasp. Suddenly the broad disk of the moon arose, and shone full upon his ghastly and distorted shape, as he fled with more than mortal speed.
I rushed toward the place where the sound was coming from, but the figure slipped away from me. Suddenly, the bright moon rose and illuminated his horrifying and twisted form as he ran away with supernatural speed.
I pursued him; and for many months this has been my task. Guided by a slight clue, I followed the windings of the Rhone, but vainly. The blue Mediterranean appeared; and, by a strange chance, I saw the fiend enter by night, and hide himself in a vessel bound for the Black Sea. I took my passage in the same ship; but he escaped, I know not how.
I chased him, and for many months this has been my mission. Following a small lead, I traced the paths of the Rhone, but without success. The blue Mediterranean came into view; and, by an odd coincidence, I saw the monster sneak aboard a ship heading to the Black Sea at night. I boarded the same ship, but he got away; I don't know how.
Amidst the wilds of Tartary and Russia, although he still evaded me, I have ever followed in his track. Sometimes the peasants, scared by this horrid apparition, informed me of his path; sometimes he himself, who feared that if I lost all trace I should despair and die, often left some mark to guide me. The snows descended on my head, and I saw the print of his huge step on the white plain. To you first entering on life, to whom care is new, and agony unknown, how can you understand what I have felt, and still feel? Cold, want, and fatigue, were the least pains which I was destined to endure; I was cursed by some devil, and carried about with me my eternal hell; yet still a spirit of good followed and directed my steps, and, when I most murmured, would suddenly extricate me from seemingly insurmountable difficulties. Sometimes, when nature, overcome by hunger, sunk under the exhaustion, a repast was prepared for me in the desert, that restored and inspirited me. The fare was indeed coarse, such as the peasants of the country ate; but I may not doubt that it was set there by the spirits that I had invoked to aid me. Often, when all was dry, the heavens cloudless, and I was parched by thirst, a slight cloud would bedim the sky, shed the few drops that revived me, and vanish.
In the wilds of Tartary and Russia, even though he kept slipping away from me, I've always followed his trail. Sometimes the frightened peasants would tell me where he had gone; other times, he himself, worried that I would lose all hope and die if I couldn't find him, would leave some sort of sign to guide me. The snow fell on my head, and I could see the imprint of his large footsteps on the white expanse. To you, just starting out in life, where worry is new and pain is unknown, how can you possibly understand what I've experienced and still feel? Cold, hunger, and exhaustion were the least of the suffering I had to endure; I felt cursed by some evil force carrying my own version of hell with me. Yet still, a good spirit watched over me and guided my steps. When I complained the most, it would suddenly help me out of seemingly impossible situations. Sometimes, when nature had drained me completely from hunger, a meal would magically appear in the wilderness, refreshing and reviving me. The food was indeed basic, like what the local peasants ate, but I had no doubt it was placed there by the spirits I had called upon to help me. Often, when everything was dry, the sky perfectly clear, and I was parched with thirst, a small cloud would obscure the sky, release a few drops that revived me, and then disappear.
I followed, when I could, the courses of the rivers; but the dæmon generally avoided these, as it was here that the population of the country chiefly collected. In other places human beings were seldom seen; and I generally subsisted on the wild animals that crossed my path. I had money with me, and gained the friendship of the villagers by distributing it, or bringing with me some food that I had killed, which, after taking a small part, I always presented to those who had provided me with fire and utensils for cooking.
I followed the rivers whenever I could, but the spirit usually steered clear of them since that’s where most people lived. In other areas, I rarely encountered humans and mostly lived off the wild animals that crossed my path. I carried some money with me and made friends with the villagers by sharing it or bringing them food I had hunted. After taking a little for myself, I always offered the rest to those who had helped me with fire and cooking supplies.
My life, as it passed thus, was indeed hateful to me, and it was during sleep alone that I could taste joy. O blessed sleep! often, when most miserable, I sank to repose, and my dreams lulled me even to rapture. The spirits that guarded me had provided these moments, or rather hours, of happiness, that I might retain strength to fulfil my pilgrimage. Deprived of this respite, I should have sunk under my hardships. During the day I was sustained and inspirited by the hope of night: for in sleep I saw my friends, my wife, and my beloved country; again I saw the benevolent countenance of my father, heard the silver tones of my Elizabeth’s voice, and beheld Clerval enjoying health and youth. Often, when wearied by a toilsome march, I persuaded myself that I was dreaming until night should come, and that I should then enjoy reality in the arms of my dearest friends. What agonizing fondness did I feel for them! how did I cling to their dear forms, as sometimes they haunted even my waking hours, and persuade myself that they still lived! At such moments vengeance, that burned within me, died in my heart, and I pursued my path towards the destruction of the dæmon, more as a task enjoined by heaven, as the mechanical impulse of some power of which I was unconscious, than as the ardent desire of my soul.
My life, as it went on, was truly miserable for me, and it was only in sleep that I could find any joy. O blessed sleep! Often, when I felt the most wretched, I fell into slumber, and my dreams would lift me to bliss. The spirits that watched over me provided these moments—or rather hours—of happiness so I could gather strength to continue my journey. Without this break, I would have crumbled under my struggles. During the day, I was driven and motivated by the promise of night: for in sleep, I could see my friends, my wife, and my beloved country again; I could see my father's kind face, hear the sweet sound of Elizabeth’s voice, and witness Clerval enjoying health and youth. Often, when exhausted from a long march, I convinced myself I was merely dreaming until night fell, and then I would experience reality in the arms of my closest friends. How I longed for them! I clung to their beloved forms, as sometimes they appeared even in my waking moments, convincing myself they were still alive! In those times, the vengeance that burned within me faded from my heart, and I continued my journey toward the destruction of the monster, more as a duty assigned by fate, as though driven by some unseen force, than as the passionate desire of my soul.
What his feelings were whom I pursued, I cannot know. Sometimes, indeed, he left marks in writing on the barks of the trees, or cut in stone, that guided me, and instigated my fury. “My reign is not yet over,” (these words were legible in one of these inscriptions); “you live, and my power is complete. Follow me; I seek the everlasting ices of the north, where you will feel the misery of cold and frost, to which I am impassive. You will find near this place, if you follow not too tardily, a dead hare; eat, and be refreshed. Come on, my enemy; we have yet to wrestle for our lives; but many hard and miserable hours must you endure, until that period shall arrive.”
What his feelings were for the one I pursued, I can't know. Sometimes, he left marks in writing on the tree bark or carved in stone that guided me and fueled my anger. “My reign is not over yet,” (these words were clear in one of these inscriptions); “you are alive, and my power is complete. Follow me; I'm heading for the eternal ice of the north, where you'll experience the misery of cold and frost, which I remain unaffected by. You will find near this spot, if you don't take too long, a dead hare; eat it and feel renewed. Come on, my enemy; we still have to fight for our lives; but you will have to endure many difficult and miserable hours until that time comes.”
Scoffing devil! Again do I vow vengeance; again do I devote thee, miserable fiend, to torture and death. Never will I omit my search, until he or I perish; and then with what ecstacy shall I join my Elizabeth, and those who even now prepare for me the reward of my tedious toil and horrible pilgrimage.
Scoffing devil! I vow to get my revenge again; I will again condemn you, wretched fiend, to pain and death. I will never stop searching until either he or I die; and then with what joy will I reunite with my Elizabeth and those who are even now preparing the reward for my long struggle and terrible journey.
As I still pursued my journey to the northward, the snows thickened, and the cold increased in a degree almost too severe to support. The peasants were shut up in their hovels, and only a few of the most hardy ventured forth to seize the animals whom starvation had forced from their hiding places to seek for prey. The rivers were covered with ice, and no fish could be procured; and thus I was cut off from my chief article of maintenance.
As I continued my journey north, the snow became deeper, and the cold grew so intense it was almost unbearable. The villagers stayed inside their homes, and only a few of the toughest dared to go out to catch the animals that hunger had driven out of hiding. The rivers were frozen over, and there were no fish to catch, leaving me with my main source of food cut off.
The triumph of my enemy increased with the difficulty of my labours. One inscription that he left was in these words: “Prepare! your toils only begin: wrap yourself in furs, and provide food, for we shall soon enter upon a journey where your sufferings will satisfy my everlasting hatred.”
The victory of my enemy grew as my efforts became more challenging. One message he left read: “Get ready! Your struggles are just starting: bundle up in furs and stock up on food, because we’re about to embark on a journey where your pain will feed my unending hatred.”
My courage and perseverance were invigorated by these scoffing words; I resolved not to fail in my purpose; and, calling on heaven to support me, I continued with unabated fervour to traverse immense deserts, until the ocean appeared at a distance, and formed the utmost boundary of the horizon. Oh! how unlike it was to the blue seas of the south! Covered with ice, it was only to be distinguished from land by its superior wildness and ruggedness. The Greeks wept for joy when they beheld the Mediterranean from the hills of Asia, and hailed with rapture the boundary of their toils. I did not weep; but I knelt down, and, with a full heart, thanked my guiding spirit for conducting me in safety to the place where I hoped, notwithstanding my adversary’s gibe, to meet and grapple with him.
My courage and determination were boosted by their mocking words; I was resolved not to fail in my goal. With a prayer for support, I kept moving with unwavering passion through vast deserts until the ocean appeared in the distance, marking the farthest edge of the horizon. Oh! How different it was from the blue seas of the south! Covered in ice, it could only be recognized from the land by its wilder, rougher appearance. The Greeks cried tears of joy when they saw the Mediterranean from the hills of Asia, celebrating the end of their struggles. I didn’t cry; instead, I knelt down and, with a grateful heart, thanked my guiding spirit for safely leading me to the place where I hoped, despite my opponent’s taunt, to confront him.
Some weeks before this period I had procured a sledge and dogs, and thus traversed the snows with inconceivable speed. I know not whether the fiend possessed the same advantages; but I found that, as before I had daily lost ground in the pursuit, I now gained on him; so much so, that when I first saw the ocean, he was but one day’s journey in advance, and I hoped to intercept him before he should reach the beach. With new courage, therefore, I pressed on, and in two days arrived at a wretched hamlet on the seashore. I inquired of the inhabitants concerning the fiend, and gained accurate information. A gigantic monster, they said, had arrived the night before, armed with a gun and many pistols; putting to flight the inhabitants of a solitary cottage, through fear of his terrific appearance. He had carried off their store of winter food, and, placing it in a sledge, to draw which he had seized on a numerous drove of trained dogs, he had harnessed them, and the same night, to the joy of the horror-struck villagers, had pursued his journey across the sea in a direction that led to no land; and they conjectured that he must speedily be destroyed by the breaking of the ice, or frozen by the eternal frosts.
A few weeks before this time, I had gotten a sled and some dogs, which allowed me to cross the snow at incredible speed. I’m not sure if the monster had the same advantages, but I noticed that, while I had previously been falling behind in the chase, I was now catching up to him. By the time I first saw the ocean, he was only a day's journey ahead, and I hoped to intercept him before he reached the shore. Feeling renewed determination, I pushed on and, after two days, arrived at a miserable small village by the sea. I asked the locals about the monster and got some detailed information. They said a gigantic creature had shown up the night before, armed with a gun and several pistols, scaring off the residents of a nearby cottage with his terrifying looks. He had taken their winter food supply and, using a large number of trained dogs that he had seized, he loaded it onto a sled. That same night, to the relief of the terrified villagers, he had continued his journey across the sea in a direction that led nowhere, and they speculated that he would soon be destroyed by the breaking ice or frozen by the everlasting cold.
On hearing this information, I suffered a temporary access of despair. He had escaped me; and I must commence a destructive and almost endless journey across the mountainous ices of the ocean,—amidst cold that few of the inhabitants could long endure, and which I, the native of a genial and sunny climate, could not hope to survive. Yet at the idea that the fiend should live and be triumphant, my rage and vengeance returned, and, like a mighty tide, overwhelmed every other feeling. After a slight repose, during which the spirits of the dead hovered round, and instigated me to toil and revenge, I prepared for my journey.
Upon hearing this news, I felt a surge of despair. He had gotten away from me, and I had to begin a grueling and seemingly endless journey across the icy mountains of the ocean—where the cold was something that few of the locals could withstand for long, and which I, coming from a warm and sunny place, had no hope of surviving. Yet, the thought of the monster living and thriving stoked my anger and thirst for revenge, overpowering all other emotions like a powerful tide. After a brief rest, during which the spirits of the dead surrounded me, urging me to work and seek vengeance, I got ready for my journey.
I exchanged my land sledge for one fashioned for the inequalities of the frozen ocean; and, purchasing a plentiful stock of provisions, I departed from land.
I traded my land sled for one designed for the rough surfaces of the frozen ocean, and after buying a good supply of food, I set off from land.
I cannot guess how many days have passed since then; but I have endured misery, which nothing but the eternal sentiment of a just retribution burning within my heart could have enabled me to support. Immense and rugged mountains of ice often barred up my passage, and I often heard the thunder of the ground sea, which threatened my destruction. But again the frost came, and made the paths of the sea secure.
I can’t even count how many days have gone by since then; but I’ve been through so much pain, and the only thing that’s kept me going is the strong feeling of deserved punishment burning in my heart. Huge and jagged ice mountains often blocked my way, and I frequently heard the thunder of the crashing waves, which felt like they were going to destroy me. But then the frost came back, making the sea routes safe again.
By the quantity of provision which I had consumed I should guess that I had passed three weeks in this journey; and the continual protraction of hope, returning back upon the heart, often wrung bitter drops of despondency and grief from my eyes. Despair had indeed almost secured her prey, and I should soon have sunk beneath this misery; when once, after the poor animals that carried me had with incredible toil gained the summit of a sloping ice mountain, and one sinking under his fatigue died, I viewed the expanse before me with anguish, when suddenly my eye caught a dark speck upon the dusky plain. I strained my sight to discover what it could be, and uttered a wild cry of ecstacy when I distinguished a sledge, and the distorted proportions of a well-known form within. Oh! with what a burning gush did hope revisit my heart! warm tears filled my eyes, which I hastily wiped away, that they might not intercept the view I had of the dæmon; but still my sight was dimmed by the burning drops, until, giving way to the emotions that oppressed me, I wept aloud.
By the amount of supplies I had used, I would guess that I had been on this journey for about three weeks; and the constant delay of hope, circling back in my heart, often squeezed bitter tears of despair and sadness from my eyes. Despair had nearly claimed me, and I would have soon succumbed to this misery; when once, after the poor animals carrying me had struggled mightily to reach the top of a sloping ice mountain, and one that was exhausted died, I looked out at the vastness before me with anguish, when suddenly I spotted a dark shape on the bleak plain. I squinted to see what it was, and let out a wild cry of joy when I recognized a sledge, and the twisted figure of a familiar form inside it. Oh! How the rush of hope filled my heart! Warm tears filled my eyes, which I quickly wiped away so they wouldn’t block my view of the figure; but still my vision was blurred by the hot tears, until, overwhelmed by the emotions that engulfed me, I cried out loud.
But this was not the time for delay; I disencumbered the dogs of their dead companion, gave them a plentiful portion of food; and, after an hour’s rest, which was absolutely necessary, and yet which was bitterly irksome to me, I continued my route. The sledge was still visible; nor did I again lose sight of it, except at the moments when for a short time some ice rock concealed it with its intervening crags. I indeed perceptibly gained on it; and when, after nearly two days’ journey, I beheld my enemy at no more than a mile distant, my heart bounded within me.
But this wasn't the time to waste; I cleared the dead dog from the others, gave them a good amount of food, and after an hour of much-needed rest, which felt incredibly frustrating, I continued on my way. The sledge was still in sight, and I only lost sight of it briefly when some ice formations covered it up. I was definitely getting closer, and when, after nearly two days of traveling, I spotted my enemy just a mile away, my heart raced with excitement.
But now, when I appeared almost within grasp of my enemy, my hopes were suddenly extinguished, and I lost all trace of him more utterly than I had ever done before. A ground sea was heard; the thunder of its progress, as the waters rolled and swelled beneath me, became every moment more ominous and terrific. I pressed on, but in vain. The wind arose; the sea roared; and, as with the mighty shock of an earthquake, it split, and cracked with a tremendous and overwhelming sound. The work was soon finished: in a few minutes a tumultuous sea rolled between me and my enemy, and I was left drifting on a scattered piece of ice, that was continually lessening, and thus preparing for me a hideous death.
But now, just when I seemed to be within reach of my enemy, my hopes were suddenly crushed, and I lost all sight of him more completely than ever. I heard a heavy swell; the sound of its approach, as the water surged and heaved beneath me, grew increasingly threatening and terrifying. I pushed forward, but it was useless. The wind picked up; the sea roared; and, with the immense force of an earthquake, it cracked and split with a deafening and overwhelming noise. It was all over quickly: in just a few minutes, a chaotic sea rolled between me and my enemy, leaving me drifting on a shrinking piece of ice, which was steadily diminishing, and thus setting me up for a horrifying death.
In this manner many appalling hours passed; several of my dogs died; and I myself was about to sink under the accumulation of distress, when I saw your vessel riding at anchor, and holding forth to me hopes of succour and life. I had no conception that vessels ever came so far north, and was astounded at the sight. I quickly destroyed part of my sledge to construct oars; and by these means was enabled, with infinite fatigue, to move my ice-raft in the direction of your ship. I had determined, if you were going southward, still to trust myself to the mercy of the seas, rather than abandon my purpose. I hoped to induce you to grant me a boat with which I could still pursue my enemy. But your direction was northward. You took me on board when my vigour was exhausted, and I should soon have sunk under my multiplied hardships into a death, which I still dread,—for my task is unfulfilled.
Many terrible hours went by; several of my dogs died, and I was on the verge of collapsing from all the stress when I spotted your ship anchored, offering me a glimmer of hope for rescue and survival. I never imagined ships ventured this far north, and I was amazed to see it. I quickly dismantled part of my sled to make oars, which allowed me, through extreme exhaustion, to maneuver my ice raft towards your vessel. I had resolved that if you were heading south, I would trust myself to the mercy of the seas instead of giving up on my mission. I hoped to persuade you to give me a boat so I could continue to pursue my enemy. But you were headed north. You welcomed me onboard when I was completely drained, and I would have soon succumbed to the many hardships I had faced, leading to a death I still fear because my task is not yet complete.
Oh! when will my guiding spirit, in conducting me to the dæmon, allow me the rest I so much desire; or must I die, and he yet live? If I do, swear to me, Walton, that he shall not escape; that you will seek him, and satisfy my vengeance in his death. Yet, do I dare ask you to undertake my pilgrimage, to endure the hardships that I have undergone? No; I am not so selfish. Yet, when I am dead, if he should appear; if the ministers of vengeance should conduct him to you, swear that he shall not live—swear that he shall not triumph over my accumulated woes, and live to make another such a wretch as I am. He is eloquent and persuasive; and once his words had even power over my heart: but trust him not. His soul is as hellish as his form, full of treachery and fiend-like malice. Hear him not; call on the manes of William, Justine, Clerval, Elizabeth, my father, and of the wretched Victor, and thrust your sword into his heart. I will hover near, and direct the steel aright.
Oh! When will my guiding spirit finally take me to the demon and give me the peace I so desperately crave? Or must I die, and he still go on living? If I do die, swear to me, Walton, that he won't get away; that you will hunt him down and make sure he pays for what he did with his life. But do I really have the right to ask you to take on my journey, to suffer the same hardships I faced? No, I’m not that selfish. Still, if I die and he shows up; if the forces of vengeance bring him to you, swear that he won’t survive—swear that he won’t find joy in my accumulated suffering and go on to make another person as miserable as I am. He is charming and persuasive; there was a time when his words could sway my heart. But don’t trust him. His soul is as wicked as his appearance, full of deceit and malicious intent. Don’t listen to him; call upon the spirits of William, Justine, Clerval, Elizabeth, my father, and the tormented Victor, and drive your sword into his heart. I will be close by, guiding your aim.
Walton, in continuation.
Walton, continuing.
August 26th, 17—.
August 26, 17__.
You have read this strange and terrific story, Margaret; and do you not feel your blood congealed with horror, like that which even now curdles mine? Sometimes, seized with sudden agony, he could not continue his tale; at others, his voice broken, yet piercing, uttered with difficulty the words so replete with agony. His fine and lovely eyes were now lighted up with indignation, now subdued to downcast sorrow, and quenched in infinite wretchedness. Sometimes he commanded his countenance and tones, and related the most horrible incidents with a tranquil voice, suppressing every mark of agitation; then, like a volcano bursting forth, his face would suddenly change to an expression of the wildest rage, as he shrieked out imprecations on his persecutor.
You’ve read this strange and amazing story, Margaret; don’t you feel your blood freeze with horror, just like mine does? Sometimes, overwhelmed by sudden pain, he couldn’t continue his tale; at other times, his voice was broken yet sharp, struggling to say the words filled with anguish. His beautiful eyes would light up with anger, then drop to despair, drowning in deep misery. Sometimes he would steady his face and voice, recounting the most terrible events calmly, suppressing any sign of distress; then, like a volcano erupting, his expression would suddenly shift to wild rage as he shouted curses at his tormentor.
His tale is connected, and told with an appearance of the simplest truth; yet I own to you that the letters of Felix and Safie, which he shewed me, and the apparition of the monster, seen from our ship, brought to me a greater conviction of the truth of his narrative than his asseverations, however earnest and connected. Such a monster has then really existence; I cannot doubt it; yet I am lost in surprise and admiration. Sometimes I endeavoured to gain from Frankenstein the particulars of his creature’s formation; but on this point he was impenetrable.
His story is coherent and has the ring of simple truth; however, I must admit that the letters from Felix and Safie, which he showed me, along with the sighting of the monster from our ship, gave me a stronger belief in the truth of his account than his assertions, no matter how sincere and detailed. Such a monster truly exists; I can’t doubt it, yet I find myself baffled and in awe. Sometimes I tried to get more details from Frankenstein about how he created his creature, but he was completely unyielding on that subject.
“Are you mad, my friend?” said he, “or whither does your senseless curiosity lead you? Would you also create for yourself and the world a demoniacal enemy? Or to what do your questions tend? Peace, peace! learn my miseries, and do not seek to increase your own.”
“Are you crazy, my friend?” he said. “Where is your pointless curiosity taking you? Do you really want to create a devilish enemy for yourself and the world? What are you trying to get at with your questions? Just calm down! Understand my suffering and don’t try to add to your own.”
Frankenstein discovered that I made notes concerning his history: he asked to see them, and then himself corrected and augmented them in many places; but principally in giving the life and spirit to the conversations he held with his enemy. “Since you have preserved my narration,” said he, “I would not that a mutilated one should go down to posterity.”
Frankenstein found out that I had taken notes about his story: he wanted to see them, and then he revised and expanded them in many areas; especially by adding life and emotion to the conversations he had with his enemy. “Since you have kept my account,” he said, “I don’t want a distorted version to be passed down to future generations.”
Thus has a week passed away, while I have listened to the strangest tale that ever imagination formed. My thoughts, and every feeling of my soul, have been drunk up by the interest for my guest, which this tale, and his own elevated and gentle manners have created. I wish to soothe him; yet can I counsel one so infinitely miserable, so destitute of every hope of consolation, to live? Oh, no! the only joy that he can now know will be when he composes his shattered feelings to peace and death. Yet he enjoys one comfort, the offspring of solitude and delirium: he believes, that, when in dreams he holds converse with his friends, and derives from that communion consolation for his miseries, or excitements to his vengeance, that they are not the creations of his fancy, but the real beings who visit him from the regions of a remote world. This faith gives a solemnity to his reveries that render them to me almost as imposing and interesting as truth.
A week has passed while I've listened to the strangest story my imagination could come up with. My thoughts and every feeling of my soul have been consumed by my guest's story, along with his noble and gentle demeanor. I want to comfort him; yet can I really advise someone who is so utterly miserable, so devoid of any hope for comfort, to keep living? Oh, no! The only joy he can have now will be when he finally finds peace in death. Still, he has one solace, born from solitude and madness: he believes that when he talks to his friends in dreams and finds consolation for his suffering, or sparks for his revenge, they are not just figments of his imagination but real beings visiting him from a distant world. This belief gives a seriousness to his daydreams that makes them almost as powerful and fascinating as the truth to me.
Our conversations are not always confined to his own history and misfortunes. On every point of general literature he displays unbounded knowledge, and a quick and piercing apprehension. His eloquence is forcible and touching; nor can I hear him, when he relates a pathetic incident, or endeavours to move the passions of pity or love, without tears. What a glorious creature must he have been in the days of his prosperity, when he is thus noble and godlike in ruin. He seems to feel his own worth, and the greatness of his fall.
Our conversations aren't just limited to his own past and troubles. In every area of general literature, he shows incredible knowledge and a sharp understanding. His speaking is powerful and moving; I can't help but cry when he shares a touching story or tries to evoke feelings of pity or love. What an amazing person he must have been in his prime, being so noble and godlike even in his downfall. He appears to recognize his own value and the magnitude of his decline.
“When younger,” said he, “I felt as if I were destined for some great enterprise. My feelings are profound; but I possessed a coolness of judgment that fitted me for illustrious achievements. This sentiment of the worth of my nature supported me, when others would have been oppressed; for I deemed it criminal to throw away in useless grief those talents that might be useful to my fellow-creatures. When I reflected on the work I had completed, no less a one than the creation of a sensitive and rational animal, I could not rank myself with the herd of common projectors. But this feeling, which supported me in the commencement of my career, now serves only to plunge me lower in the dust. All my speculations and hopes are as nothing; and, like the archangel who aspired to omnipotence, I am chained in an eternal hell. My imagination was vivid, yet my powers of analysis and application were intense; by the union of these qualities I conceived the idea, and executed the creation of a man. Even now I cannot recollect, without passion, my reveries while the work was incomplete. I trod heaven in my thoughts, now exulting in my powers, now burning with the idea of their effects. From my infancy I was imbued with high hopes and a lofty ambition; but how am I sunk! Oh! my friend, if you had known me as I once was, you would not recognize me in this state of degradation. Despondency rarely visited my heart; a high destiny seemed to bear me on, until I fell, never, never again to rise.”
“When I was younger,” he said, “I felt like I was meant for something great. My feelings are deep, but I had a level-headedness that made me capable of remarkable achievements. This belief in my own worth kept me going when others would have given up; I thought it was wrong to waste my talents on pointless sadness when they could benefit others. When I looked back on what I had created—nothing less than a sensitive and rational being—I couldn’t see myself as just another person with common ideas. But this feeling that once fueled my journey now only drags me down. All my dreams and aspirations mean nothing now; like the archangel who wanted to be all-powerful, I find myself trapped in endless despair. My imagination was strong, and my ability to analyze and apply was sharp; it was the combination of these traits that led me to think of and create a man. Even now, I can’t remember those days of unfinished work without strong emotion. I felt like I was walking in heaven in my thoughts, sometimes proud of my abilities, sometimes consumed by the potential consequences of them. From a young age, I was filled with great hopes and high ambitions; but look where I am now! Oh! my friend, if you had known me back then, you wouldn’t recognize me in this pitiful state. I rarely felt despair; a great destiny seemed to guide me forward, until I fell, never to rise again.”
Must I then lose this admirable being? I have longed for a friend; I have sought one who would sympathize with and love me. Behold, on these desert seas I have found such a one; but, I fear, I have gained him only to know his value, and lose him. I would reconcile him to life, but he repulses the idea.
Must I really lose this amazing person? I've wanted a friend for so long; I've looked for someone who would understand and care about me. Look, on these empty seas I’ve finally found that person; but, I’m afraid I’ve only realized his worth just to lose him. I want to help him embrace life, but he rejects the thought.
“I thank you, Walton,” he said, “for your kind intentions towards so miserable a wretch; but when you speak of new ties, and fresh affections, think you that any can replace those who are gone? Can any man be to me as Clerval was; or any woman another Elizabeth? Even where the affections are not strongly moved by any superior excellence, the companions of our childhood always possess a certain power over our minds, which hardly any later friend can obtain. They know our infantine dispositions, which, however they may be afterwards modified, are never eradicated; and they can judge of our actions with more certain conclusions as to the integrity of our motives. A sister or a brother can never, unless indeed such symptoms have been shewn early, suspect the other of fraud or false dealing, when another friend, however strongly he may be attached, may, in spite of himself, be invaded with suspicion. But I enjoyed friends, dear not only through habit and association, but from their own merits; and, wherever I am, the soothing voice of my Elizabeth, and the conversation of Clerval, will be ever whispered in my ear. They are dead; and but one feeling in such a solitude can persuade me to preserve my life. If I were engaged in any high undertaking or design, fraught with extensive utility to my fellow-creatures, then could I live to fulfil it. But such is not my destiny; I must pursue and destroy the being to whom I gave existence; then my lot on earth will be fulfilled, and I may die.”
“I appreciate it, Walton,” he said, “for your kind intentions toward such a miserable wretch as I am; but when you talk about new connections and fresh feelings, do you really think anything can replace those who are gone? Can anyone ever mean as much to me as Clerval did, or can any woman take the place of Elizabeth? Even when feelings aren't strongly influenced by any exceptional quality, the friends of our childhood always have a certain power over our minds that hardly any later friends can match. They know our early traits, which, no matter how much they change later on, are never completely erased; and they can judge our actions with a clearer understanding of our true motives. A sister or a brother can never, unless certain signs are shown early on, suspect the other of deceiving or betraying them, while another friend, no matter how attached he may be, can be invaded by doubt despite himself. But I had friends who were dear to me not just because of habits and shared experiences, but also because of their own worth; and wherever I go, the comforting voice of Elizabeth and the conversations with Clerval will always echo in my ears. They are dead; and in such solitude, only one feeling can urge me to keep living. If I were involved in some noble cause or project that would greatly benefit my fellow humans, then I could live to accomplish it. But that's not my fate; I must pursue and destroy the being I brought to life; then my time on earth will be complete, and I can die.”
September 2d.
September 2nd.
My Beloved Sister,
My Dear Sister,
I write to you, encompassed by peril, and ignorant whether I am ever doomed to see again dear England, and the dearer friends that inhabit it. I am surrounded by mountains of ice, which admit of no escape, and threaten every moment to crush my vessel. The brave fellows, whom I have persuaded to be my companions, look towards me for aid; but I have none to bestow. There is something terribly appalling in our situation, yet my courage and hopes do not desert me. We may survive; and if we do not, I will repeat the lessons of my Seneca, and die with a good heart.
I’m writing to you, surrounded by danger, unsure if I’ll ever see dear England and the even dearer friends there again. I’m trapped by towering ice, with no way out, and it threatens to crush my ship at any moment. The brave guys I’ve convinced to join me look to me for help, but I have none to give. Our situation is incredibly terrifying, yet I still have my courage and hope. We might survive; and if we don’t, I’ll remember the lessons from Seneca and face death with a good heart.
Yet what, Margaret, will be the state of your mind? You will not hear of my destruction, and you will anxiously await my return. Years will pass, and you will have visitings of despair, and yet be tortured by hope. Oh! my beloved sister, the sickening failings of your heart-felt expectations are, in prospect, more terrible to me than my own death. But you have a husband, and lovely children; you may be happy: heaven bless you, and make you so!
Yet what, Margaret, will your state of mind be? You won’t know about my destruction, and you’ll be anxiously waiting for me to come back. Years will go by, and you’ll feel moments of despair, yet you’ll still be tormented by hope. Oh! my dear sister, the gut-wrenching disappointments of your heartfelt expectations are, in the future, more terrifying to me than my own death. But you have a husband and beautiful children; you might find happiness: heaven bless you and make it so!
My unfortunate guest regards me with the tenderest compassion. He endeavours to fill me with hope; and talks as if life were a possession which he valued. He reminds me how often the same accidents have happened to other navigators, who have attempted this sea, and, in spite of myself, he fills me with cheerful auguries. Even the sailors feel the power of his eloquence: when he speaks, they no longer despair: he rouses their energies, and, while they hear his voice, they believe these vast mountains of ice are mole-hills, which will vanish before the resolutions of man. These feelings are transitory; each day’s expectation delayed fills them with fear, and I almost dread a mutiny caused by this despair.
My unfortunate guest looks at me with the deepest sympathy. He tries to fill me with hope and talks as if life is something precious to him. He reminds me how often the same misfortunes have happened to other sailors who attempted this sea, and, despite myself, he fills me with optimistic thoughts. Even the sailors feel the impact of his words: when he talks, they stop feeling hopeless. He energizes them, and as they listen to him, they believe these enormous ice mountains are just small hills that will disappear before human determination. These feelings are temporary; each day's delay in expectations fills them with fear, and I almost fear a mutiny brought on by this despair.
September 5th.
September 5.
A scene has just passed of such uncommon interest, that although it is highly probable that these papers may never reach you, yet I cannot forbear recording it.
A scene has just occurred that was so unusual and interesting that even though it's very likely these papers may never get to you, I can't help but write it down.
We are still surrounded by mountains of ice, still in imminent danger of being crushed in their conflict. The cold is excessive, and many of my unfortunate comrades have already found a grave amidst this scene of desolation. Frankenstein has daily declined in health: a feverish fire still glimmers in his eyes; but he is exhausted, and, when suddenly roused to any exertion, he speedily sinks again into apparent lifelessness.
We are still surrounded by ice mountains, still at risk of being crushed in their clash. The cold is extreme, and many of my unfortunate friends have already found a grave in this place of despair. Frankenstein's health has worsened daily: a feverish spark still glows in his eyes; but he is worn out, and when he is suddenly stirred to action, he quickly falls back into what seems like lifelessness.
I mentioned in my last letter the fears I entertained of a mutiny. This morning, as I sat watching the wan countenance of my friend—his eyes half closed, and his limbs hanging listlessly,—I was roused by half a dozen of the sailors, who desired admission into the cabin. They entered; and their leader addressed me. He told me that he and his companions had been chosen by the other sailors to come in deputation to me, to make me a demand, which, in justice, I could not refuse. We were immured in ice, and should probably never escape; but they feared that if, as was possible, the ice should dissipate, and a free passage be opened, I should be rash enough to continue my voyage, and lead them into fresh dangers, after they might happily have surmounted this. They desired, therefore, that I should engage with a solemn promise, that if the vessel should be freed, I would instantly direct my coarse southward.
I mentioned in my last letter my worries about a possible mutiny. This morning, while I was watching my friend’s pale face—his eyes half-closed and his limbs hanging limply—I was interrupted by about six sailors who wanted to come into the cabin. They came in, and their leader spoke to me. He told me that he and the others had been chosen by the rest of the crew to come to me with a request that I couldn’t just ignore. We were stuck in ice and might never get out; however, they were concerned that if, as might happen, the ice melted and we had a clear path, I would recklessly continue our journey and lead them into new dangers after they had managed to get through this situation. So, they wanted me to make a formal promise that if the ship was freed, I would immediately steer southward.
This speech troubled me. I had not despaired; nor had I yet conceived the idea of returning, if set free. Yet could I, in justice, or even in possibility, refuse this demand? I hesitated before I answered; when Frankenstein, who had at first been silent, and, indeed, appeared hardly to have force enough to attend, now roused himself; his eyes sparkled, and his cheeks flushed with momentary vigour. Turning towards the men, he said—
This speech worried me. I hadn't given up hope; nor had I even thought about returning if I were set free. But could I, fairly or even realistically, refuse this request? I paused before I replied; then Frankenstein, who had initially been quiet and seemed barely able to pay attention, suddenly regained his energy. His eyes lit up, and his cheeks flushed with a burst of vigor. Turning to the men, he said—
“What do you mean? What do you demand of your captain? Are you then so easily turned from your design? Did you not call this a glorious expedition? and wherefore was it glorious? Not because the way was smooth and placid as a southern sea, but because it was full of dangers and terror; because, at every new incident, your fortitude was to be called forth, and your courage exhibited; because danger and death surrounded, and these dangers you were to brave and overcome. For this was it a glorious, for this was it an honourable undertaking. You were hereafter to be hailed as the benefactors of your species; your name adored, as belonging to brave men who encountered death for honour and the benefit of mankind. And now, behold, with the first imagination of danger, or, if you will, the first mighty and terrific trial of your courage, you shrink away, and are content to be handed down as men who had not strength enough to endure cold and peril; and so, poor souls, they were chilly, and returned to their warm fire-sides. Why, that requires not this preparation; ye need not have come thus far, and dragged your captain to the shame of a defeat, merely to prove yourselves cowards. Oh! be men, or be more than men. Be steady to your purposes, and firm as a rock. This ice is not made of such stuff as your hearts might be; it is mutable, cannot withstand you, if you say that it shall not. Do not return to your families with the stigma of disgrace marked on your brows. Return as heroes who have fought and conquered, and who know not what it is to turn their backs on the foe.”
“What do you mean? What do you expect from your captain? Are you really so easily swayed from your goal? Didn’t you call this a glorious expedition? And what made it glorious? Not because the path was smooth and calm like a southern sea, but because it was filled with dangers and terror; because, with every new challenge, your courage was to be tested and shown; because danger and death were all around, and you were meant to face and overcome these threats. That’s what made it a glorious and honorable mission. You were meant to be seen as the benefactors of humanity; your name revered as those who faced death for honor and the good of mankind. And now, look, at the first hint of danger, or if you prefer, the first major test of your courage, you cower away and are okay with being remembered as people who lacked the strength to endure cold and risk; and so, poor souls, they got chilly and went back to their warm firesides. Why, that doesn’t require any preparation; you didn’t need to come this far and drag your captain into the shame of defeat just to show you’re cowards. Oh! Be men, or even more than men. Stay true to your goals, and be as solid as a rock. This ice isn’t made of stuff that your hearts are; it’s changeable, and it won’t resist you if you decide it won’t. Don’t go back to your families with the mark of disgrace on your foreheads. Return as heroes who have fought and won, and who don’t know what it means to turn their backs on the enemy.”
He spoke this with a voice so modulated to the different feelings expressed in his speech, with an eye so full of lofty design and heroism, that can you wonder that these men were moved. They looked at one another, and were unable to reply. I spoke; I told them to retire, and consider of what had been said: that I would not lead them further north, if they strenuously desired the contrary; but that I hoped that, with reflection, their courage would return.
He said this in a voice that perfectly matched the feelings in his words, with eyes filled with ambition and bravery, so is it any surprise that these men were affected? They glanced at each other and couldn’t find the words to respond. I spoke up; I told them to step back and think about what had been said: that I wouldn't push them any further north if they strongly wanted otherwise; but I hoped that, after some time to reflect, their courage would come back.
They retired, and I turned towards my friend; but he was sunk in languor, and almost deprived of life.
They retired, and I turned to my friend; but he was lost in fatigue, almost lifeless.
How all this will terminate, I know not; but I had rather die, than return shamefully,—my purpose unfulfilled. Yet I fear such will be my fate; the men, unsupported by ideas of glory and honour, can never willingly continue to endure their present hardships.
How all this will end, I don't know; but I would rather die than return in shame—with my goal unachieved. Yet I worry that this will be my fate; the men, lacking ideas of glory and honor, will never willingly keep enduring their current struggles.
September 7th.
September 7.
The die is cast; I have consented to return, if we are not destroyed. Thus are my hopes blasted by cowardice and indecision; I come back ignorant and disappointed. It requires more philosophy than I possess, to bear this injustice with patience.
The die is cast; I’ve agreed to come back, as long as we’re not destroyed. My hopes are crushed by fear and indecision; I return feeling clueless and let down. It takes more patience than I have to deal with this unfairness.
September 12th.
September 12.
It is past; I am returning to England. I have lost my hopes of utility and glory;—I have lost my friend. But I will endeavour to detail these bitter circumstances to you, my dear sister; and, while I am wafted towards England, and towards you, I will not despond.
It’s in the past; I’m going back to England. I’ve lost my hopes for usefulness and fame; I’ve lost my friend. But I’m going to try to explain these painful circumstances to you, my dear sister; and while I’m being carried toward England and toward you, I won’t lose hope.
September 19th, the ice began to move, and roarings like thunder were heard at a distance, as the islands split and cracked in every direction. We were in the most imminent peril; but, as we could only remain passive, my chief attention was occupied by my unfortunate guest, whose illness increased in such a degree, that he was entirely confined to his bed. The ice cracked behind us, and was driven with force towards the north; a breeze sprung from the west, and on the 11th the passage towards the south became perfectly free. When the sailors saw this, and that their return to their native country was apparently assured, a shout of tumultuous joy broke from them, loud and long-continued. Frankenstein, who was dozing, awoke, and asked the cause of the tumult. “They shout,” I said, “because they will soon return to England.”
September 19th, the ice started to shift, and thunder-like roars echoed in the distance as the islands split and cracked in every direction. We were in serious danger; however, since we could do nothing but wait, my main focus was on my unfortunate guest, whose condition deteriorated to the point where he was completely bedridden. The ice cracked behind us and was pushed northward with force; a breeze came from the west, and by the 11th, the passage to the south was completely open. When the sailors saw this and realized that their return to their homeland was likely, a loud and joyful cheer erupted from them that lasted for a long time. Frankenstein, who had been dozing, woke up and asked what was happening. “They’re cheering,” I said, “because they will soon be heading back to England.”
“Do you then really return?”
“Are you really coming back?”
“Alas! yes; I cannot withstand their demands. I cannot lead them unwillingly to danger, and I must return.”
“Unfortunately, yes; I can't ignore their demands. I can't lead them into danger against their will, and I have to go back.”
“Do so, if you will; but I will not. You may give up your purpose; but mine is assigned to me by heaven, and I dare not. I am weak; but surely the spirits who assist my vengeance will endow me with sufficient strength.” Saying this, he endeavoured to spring from the bed, but the exertion was too great for him; he fell back, and fainted.
“Go ahead if you want; but I won’t. You can give up on your goals; but mine have been given to me by fate, and I can’t back down. I’m weak; but surely the forces helping me with my vengeance will give me enough strength.” Saying this, he tried to get up from the bed, but the effort was too much for him; he fell back and fainted.
It was long before he was restored; and I often thought that life was entirely extinct. At length he opened his eyes, but he breathed with difficulty, and was unable to speak. The surgeon gave him a composing draught, and ordered us to leave him undisturbed. In the mean time he told me, that my friend had certainly not many hours to live.
It took a long time for him to recover, and I often felt like life had completely faded away. Finally, he opened his eyes, but he was breathing heavily and couldn't speak. The doctor gave him a calming medication and told us to leave him alone. In the meantime, he told me that my friend probably didn't have many hours left to live.
His sentence was pronounced; and I could only grieve, and be patient. I sat by his bed watching him; his eyes were closed, and I thought he slept; but presently he called to me in a feeble voice, and, bidding me come near, said—“Alas! the strength I relied on is gone; I feel that I shall soon die, and he, my enemy and persecutor, may still be in being. Think not, Walton, that in the last moments of my existence I feel that burning hatred, and ardent desire of revenge, I once expressed, but I feel myself justified in desiring the death of my adversary. During these last days I have been occupied in examining my past conduct; nor do I find it blameable. In a fit of enthusiastic madness I created a rational creature, and was bound towards him, to assure, as far as was in my power, his happiness and well-being. This was my duty; but there was another still paramount to that. My duties towards my fellow-creatures had greater claims to my attention, because they included a greater proportion of happiness or misery. Urged by this view, I refused, and I did right in refusing, to create a companion for the first creature. He shewed unparalleled malignity and selfishness, in evil: he destroyed my friends; he devoted to destruction beings who possessed exquisite sensations, happiness, and wisdom; nor do I know where this thirst for vengeance may end. Miserable himself, that he may render no other wretched, he ought to die. The task of his destruction was mine, but I have failed. When actuated by selfish and vicious motives, I asked you to undertake my unfinished work; and I renew this request now, when I am only induced by reason and virtue.
His sentence was announced, and all I could do was mourn and be patient. I sat by his bed watching him; his eyes were closed, and I thought he was sleeping. But soon, he called to me in a weak voice, and when I approached, he said, “Alas! The strength I relied on is gone; I feel that I will soon die, and my enemy and persecutor may still be alive. Don’t think, Walton, that in my last moments I still feel the intense hatred and strong desire for revenge I once expressed. However, I believe I am justified in wanting my adversary to die. In these final days, I have been reflecting on my past actions, and I don’t find them blameworthy. In a moment of passionate madness, I created a rational being, and I was obliged to ensure, as much as I could, his happiness and well-being. That was my responsibility, but I had an even greater duty. My obligations to my fellow beings deserved more of my attention because they involved a larger amount of happiness or suffering. Driven by this thought, I refused, and I was right to refuse, to create a companion for the first creature. He displayed unmatched malice and selfishness in doing evil: he destroyed my friends and condemned to ruin beings who had exquisite feelings, joy, and wisdom; I don’t know where this thirst for vengeance will end. Miserable himself, he should not make others suffer, and he ought to die. The responsibility for his destruction was mine, but I have failed. Motivated by selfish and immoral reasons, I asked you to take on my unfinished work, and I make this request again now, this time inspired solely by reason and virtue.
“Yet I cannot ask you to renounce your country and friends, to fulfil this task; and now, that you are returning to England, you will have little chance of meeting with him. But the consideration of these points, and the well-balancing of what you may esteem your duties, I leave to you; my judgment and ideas are already disturbed by the near approach of death. I dare not ask you to do what I think right, for I may still be misled by passion.
“Yet I can’t ask you to give up your country and friends to complete this task; and now that you’re heading back to England, you won’t have much chance to see him. But I’ll leave the consideration of these points and the careful weighing of what you believe your duties are to you; my judgment and thoughts are already clouded by the impending approach of death. I can’t ask you to do what I think is right, as I might still be influenced by my emotions.”
“That he should live to be an instrument of mischief disturbs me; in other respects this hour, when I momentarily expect my release, is the only happy one which I have enjoyed for several years. The forms of the beloved dead flit before me, and I hasten to their arms. Farewell, Walton! Seek happiness in tranquillity, and avoid ambition, even if it be only the apparently innocent one of distinguishing yourself in science and discoveries. Yet why do I say this? I have myself been blasted in these hopes, yet another may succeed.”
"That he has become a source of trouble bothers me; in other ways, this moment, when I briefly expect my freedom, is the only happy moment I've had in years. The images of my beloved departed loved ones come to me, and I hurry to embrace them. Goodbye, Walton! Look for happiness in peace, and steer clear of ambition, even if it seems harmless like wanting to stand out in science and discoveries. But why do I say this? I've had my dreams crushed, yet someone else might succeed."
His voice became fainter as he spoke; and at length, exhausted by his effort, he sunk into silence. About half an hour afterwards he attempted again to speak, but was unable; he pressed my hand feebly, and his eyes closed for ever, while the irradiation of a gentle smile passed away from his lips.
His voice grew softer as he spoke, and eventually, worn out from his effort, he fell silent. About half an hour later, he tried to speak again but couldn't. He squeezed my hand weakly, and his eyes closed for good, a gentle smile fading from his lips.
Margaret, what comment can I make on the untimely extinction of this glorious spirit? What can I say, that will enable you to understand the depth of my sorrow? All that I should express would be inadequate and feeble. My tears flow; my mind is overshadowed by a cloud of disappointment. But I journey towards England, and I may there find consolation.
Margaret, what can I say about the premature loss of this incredible spirit? How can I convey the depth of my sorrow to you? Anything I express would feel insufficient and weak. I’m in tears; my thoughts are clouded by disappointment. But I’m heading to England, and maybe there I will find some comfort.
I am interrupted. What do these sounds portend? It is midnight; the breeze blows fairly, and the watch on deck scarcely stir. Again; there is a sound as of a human voice, but hoarser; it comes from the cabin where the remains of Frankenstein still lie. I must arise, and examine. Good night, my sister.
I’m interrupted. What do these sounds mean? It’s midnight; the breeze is gentle, and the watch on deck hardly moves. Again, there’s a sound like a human voice, but rougher; it’s coming from the cabin where Frankenstein’s remains still lie. I need to get up and check it out. Good night, my sister.
Great God! what a scene has just taken place! I am yet dizzy with the remembrance of it. I hardly know whether I shall have the power to detail it; yet the tale which I have recorded would be incomplete without this final and wonderful catastrophe.
Great God! What a scene just unfolded! I'm still dizzy from remembering it. I can hardly tell if I have the strength to describe it; yet the story I've recorded would be unfinished without this final and incredible disaster.
I entered the cabin, where lay the remains of my ill-fated and admirable friend. Over him hung a form which I cannot find words to describe; gigantic in stature, yet uncouth and distorted in its proportions. As he hung over the coffin, his face was concealed by long locks of ragged hair; but one vast hand was extended, in colour and apparent texture like that of a mummy. When he heard the sound of my approach, he ceased to utter exclamations of grief and horror, and sprung towards the window. Never did I behold a vision so horrible as his face, of such loathsome, yet appalling hideousness. I shut my eyes involuntarily, and endeavoured to recollect what were my duties with regard to this destroyer. I called on him to stay.
I walked into the cabin, where the remains of my unfortunate and admirable friend lay. Above him was a figure I can't even begin to describe; huge in size but awkward and misshapen. As the figure loomed over the coffin, its face was hidden by long strands of tangled hair, but one enormous hand reached out, looking like a mummified hand in both color and texture. When he heard me coming, he stopped crying out in grief and horror and leaped toward the window. I had never seen a vision as horrifying as his face, with a hideousness that was both disgusting and shocking. I instinctively shut my eyes and tried to remember what I was supposed to do about this creature. I called out to him to stop.
He paused, looking on me with wonder; and, again turning towards the lifeless form of his creator, he seemed to forget my presence, and every feature and gesture seemed instigated by the wildest rage of some uncontrollable passion.
He stopped, staring at me in amazement; then, turning back to the lifeless body of his creator, he seemed to forget I was there, and every expression and movement of his was driven by an uncontrollable rage.
“That is also my victim!” he exclaimed; “in his murder my crimes are consummated; the miserable series of my being is wound to its close! Oh, Frankenstein! generous and self-devoted being! what does it avail that I now ask thee to pardon me? I, who irretrievably destroyed thee by destroying all thou lovedst. Alas! he is cold; he may not answer me.”
"That is also my victim!" he shouted. "With his murder, my crimes are complete; the miserable cycle of my existence has come to an end! Oh, Frankenstein! noble and selfless being! What good does it do for me to ask for your forgiveness now? I, who have irreparably harmed you by taking away everything you loved. Alas! he is cold; he can’t respond to me."
His voice seemed suffocated; and my first impulses, which had suggested to me the duty of obeying the dying request of my friend, in destroying his enemy, were now suspended by a mixture of curiosity and compassion. I approached this tremendous being; I dared not again raise my looks upon his face, there was something so scaring and unearthly in his ugliness. I attempted to speak, but the words died away on my lips. The monster continued to utter wild and incoherent self-reproaches. At length I gathered resolution to address him, in a pause of the tempest of his passion: “Your repentance,” I said, “is now superfluous. If you had listened to the voice of conscience, and heeded the stings of remorse, before you had urged your diabolical vengeance to this extremity, Frankenstein would yet have lived.”
His voice sounded choked, and my initial instinct to fulfill my friend's dying wish by destroying his enemy was now held back by a mix of curiosity and compassion. I moved closer to this terrifying figure; I couldn't bring myself to look at his face again—there was something so frightening and unnatural about his ugliness. I tried to speak, but the words faded before I could say them. The monster continued to express wild and incoherent self-accusations. Finally, I found the courage to address him during a pause in the storm of his anger: “Your regret,” I said, “is now pointless. If you had listened to your conscience and heeded the pangs of guilt before you drove your evil vengeance to this point, Frankenstein would still be alive.”
“And do you dream?” said the dæmon; “do you think that I was then dead to agony and remorse?—He,” he continued, pointing to the corpse, “he suffered not more in the consummation of the deed;—oh! not the ten-thousandth portion of the anguish that was mine during the lingering detail of its execution. A frightful selfishness hurried me on, while my heart was poisoned with remorse. Think ye that the groans of Clerval were music to my ears? My heart was fashioned to be susceptible of love and sympathy; and, when wrenched by misery to vice and hatred, it did not endure the violence of the change without torture such as you cannot even imagine.
“And do you dream?” said the dæmon. “Do you think I was free from pain and regret back then?—He,” he said, pointing to the corpse, “he didn’t feel anywhere near the torment I experienced during the long, drawn-out process of carrying out the act. A terrible selfishness drove me forward, while my heart was filled with guilt. Do you think Clerval’s groans were music to me? My heart was meant to feel love and compassion; and when it was twisted by suffering into vice and hatred, it didn’t endure the shock of that change without a level of pain you can't even begin to imagine.”
“After the murder of Clerval, I returned to Switzerland, heart-broken and overcome. I pitied Frankenstein; my pity amounted to horror: I abhorred myself. But when I discovered that he, the author at once of my existence and of its unspeakable torments, dared to hope for happiness; that while he accumulated wretchedness and despair upon me, he sought his own enjoyment in feelings and passions from the indulgence of which I was for ever barred, then impotent envy and bitter indignation filled me with an insatiable thirst for vengeance. I recollected my threat, and resolved that it should be accomplished. I knew that I was preparing for myself a deadly torture; but I was the slave, not the master of an impulse, which I detested, yet could not disobey. Yet when she died!—nay, then I was not miserable. I had cast off all feeling, subdued all anguish to riot in the excess of my despair. Evil thenceforth became my good. Urged thus far, I had no choice but to adapt my nature to an element which I had willingly chosen. The completion of my demoniacal design became an insatiable passion. And now it is ended; there is my last victim!”
“After Clerval's murder, I went back to Switzerland, heartbroken and overwhelmed. I felt sorry for Frankenstein; my sympathy turned into horror: I hated myself. But when I realized that he, the creator of my existence and my unimaginable suffering, dared to wish for happiness; that while he piled misery and despair onto me, he sought his own enjoyment in feelings and passions of which I would always be denied, then helpless envy and furious anger filled me with an endless thirst for revenge. I remembered my threat and decided it had to be fulfilled. I knew I was preparing myself for a torturous fate, but I was a slave, not the master of an impulse that I despised yet couldn't resist. Yet when she died!—then I was not unhappy. I had let go of all feelings, suppressed all pain to revel in the depths of my despair. Evil then became my good. Driven this far, I had no choice but to tailor my nature to an element I had willingly embraced. Completing my wicked plan became an unquenchable passion. And now it's done; there is my last victim!”
I was at first touched by the expressions of his misery; yet when I called to mind what Frankenstein had said of his powers of eloquence and persuasion, and when I again cast my eyes on the lifeless form of my friend, indignation was re-kindled within me. “Wretch!” I said, “it is well that you come here to whine over the desolation that you have made. You throw a torch into a pile of buildings, and when they are consumed you sit among the ruins, and lament the fall. Hypocritical fiend! if he whom you mourn still lived, still would he be the object, again would he become the prey of your accursed vengeance. It is not pity that you feel; you lament only because the victim of your malignity is withdrawn from your power.”
I was initially moved by how miserable he looked; but when I remembered what Frankenstein had said about his ability to speak so persuasively, and when I looked again at the lifeless body of my friend, my anger flared up again. “You miserable wretch!” I exclaimed. “It’s fitting that you come here to moan over the destruction you’ve caused. You throw a torch into a bunch of buildings, and when they’re burnt down, you sit among the ruins and mourn their collapse. You hypocritical monster! If the person you’re grieving for were still alive, he would still be your target, and you’d have him in your sights again for your twisted revenge. You don’t feel pity; you’re only lamenting because the victim of your malevolence is no longer within your grasp.”
“Oh, it is not thus—not thus,” interrupted the being; “yet such must be the impression conveyed to you by what appears to be the purport of my actions. Yet I seek not a fellow-feeling in my misery. No sympathy may I ever find. When I first sought it, it was the love of virtue, the feelings of happiness and affection with which my whole being overflowed, that I wished to be participated. But now, that virtue has become to me a shadow, and that happiness and affection are turned into bitter and loathing despair, in what should I seek for sympathy? I am content to suffer alone, while my sufferings shall endure: when I die, I am well satisfied that abhorrence and opprobrium should load my memory. Once my fancy was soothed with dreams of virtue, of fame, and of enjoyment. Once I falsely hoped to meet with beings, who, pardoning my outward form, would love me for the excellent qualities which I was capable of bringing forth. I was nourished with high thoughts of honour and devotion. But now vice has degraded me beneath the meanest animal. No crime, no mischief, no malignity, no misery, can be found comparable to mine. When I call over the frightful catalogue of my deeds, I cannot believe that I am he whose thoughts were once filled with sublime and transcendant visions of the beauty and the majesty of goodness. But it is even so; the fallen angel becomes a malignant devil. Yet even that enemy of God and man had friends and associates in his desolation; I am quite alone.
“Oh, it’s not like that—not at all,” the being interrupted. “But that’s the impression you must get from what seems to be the reason for my actions. Still, I’m not looking for anyone to share in my misery. I’ll never find sympathy. At first, I sought it out because I wanted to share the love of virtue, the happiness and affection that overflowed from my entire being. But now, virtue feels like a distant shadow, and that happiness and affection have turned into bitter despair and disgust. So why would I look for sympathy? I'm fine with suffering alone as long as it lasts: when I die, I'm fully prepared for people to remember me with hatred and contempt. Once, my imagination was filled with dreams of virtue, fame, and enjoyment. I mistakenly hoped to find beings who would overlook my outward appearance and love me for the great qualities I had to offer. I was sustained by lofty thoughts of honor and devotion. But now, vice has brought me down to the level of the lowest animal. No crime, no harm, no malice, no misery can compare to what I’ve endured. When I go through the horrific list of my actions, I can hardly believe I was once a person whose mind was filled with noble and transcendent visions of beauty and goodness. But it’s true; the fallen angel turns into a wicked devil. Yet even that enemy of God and humanity had friends and companions in his despair; I am completely alone.
“You, who call Frankenstein your friend, seem to have a knowledge of my crimes and his misfortunes. But, in the detail which he gave you of them, he could not sum up the hours and months of misery which I endured, wasting in impotent passions. For whilst I destroyed his hopes, I did not satisfy my own desires. They were for ever ardent and craving; still I desired love and fellowship, and I was still spurned. Was there no injustice in this? Am I to be thought the only criminal, when all human kind sinned against me? Why do you not hate Felix, who drove his friend from his door with contumely? Why do you not execrate the rustic who sought to destroy the saviour of his child? Nay, these are virtuous and immaculate beings! I, the miserable and the abandoned, am an abortion, to be spurned at, and kicked, and trampled on. Even now my blood boils at the recollection of this injustice.
"You, who consider Frankenstein your friend, seem to know about my wrongs and his struggles. However, in the details he shared with you, he couldn't fully express the hours and months of suffering I endured, trapped in unfulfilling passions. While I shattered his hopes, I never found satisfaction for my own desires. They were always intense and longing; still, I yearned for love and companionship, yet was continually rejected. Is there no injustice in this? Am I really the only one to blame, when all of humanity has wronged me? Why don't you hate Felix, who turned his back on his friend? Why don't you condemn the villager who tried to harm the savior of his child? No, these people are seen as virtuous and pure! I, the wretched and the forsaken, am treated like a freak to be scorned, kicked, and trampled. Even now, just thinking about this injustice makes my blood boil."
“But it is true that I am a wretch. I have murdered the lovely and the helpless; I have strangled the innocent as they slept, and grasped to death his throat who never injured me or any other living thing. I have devoted my creator, the select specimen of all that is worthy of love and admiration among men, to misery; I have pursued him even to that irremediable ruin. There he lies, white and cold in death. You hate me; but your abhorrence cannot equal that with which I regard myself. I look on the hands which executed the deed; I think on the heart in which the imagination of it was conceived, and long for the moment when they will meet my eyes, when it will haunt my thoughts, no more.
“But it’s true that I’m a wretch. I’ve killed the beautiful and the vulnerable; I’ve strangled the innocent while they slept, and choked to death someone who never harmed me or any other living being. I’ve doomed my creator, the best example of everything that’s lovable and admirable in people, to misery; I’ve chased him right to that point of no return. There he lies, pale and lifeless. You hate me; but your disgust can’t compare to the way I feel about myself. I look at the hands that did the act; I think about the heart where the idea first came from, and I long for the moment when they’ll meet my eyes, when the memory will haunt my thoughts no more.
“Fear not that I shall be the instrument of future mischief. My work is nearly complete. Neither your’s nor any man’s death is needed to consummate the series of my being, and accomplish that which must be done; but it requires my own. Do not think that I shall be slow to perform this sacrifice. I shall quit your vessel on the ice-raft which brought me hither, and shall seek the most northern extremity of the globe; I shall collect my funeral pile, and consume to ashes this miserable frame, that its remains may afford no light to any curious and unhallowed wretch, who would create such another as I have been. I shall die. I shall no longer feel the agonies which now consume me, or be the prey of feelings unsatisfied, yet unquenched. He is dead who called me into being; and when I shall be no more, the very remembrance of us both will speedily vanish. I shall no longer see the sun or stars, or feel the winds play on my cheeks. Light, feeling, and sense, will pass away; and in this condition must I find my happiness. Some years ago, when the images which this world affords first opened upon me, when I felt the cheering warmth of summer, and heard the rustling of the leaves and the chirping of the birds, and these were all to me, I should have wept to die; now it is my only consolation. Polluted by crimes, and torn by the bitterest remorse, where can I find rest but in death?
“Don’t worry that I’ll be the cause of future trouble. My work is almost finished. Neither your death nor anyone else’s is necessary to complete my existence and achieve what needs to be done; only my own is needed. Don’t think I’ll hesitate to make this sacrifice. I’ll leave your ship on the ice-raft that brought me here and will head to the northernmost part of the globe; I’ll gather my funeral pyre and reduce this wretched body to ashes so that its remnants won’t bring any light to any curious or unholy person who might try to create another like I once was. I will die. I will no longer feel the agonies that now consume me or be tormented by feelings that are unsatisfied yet unquenched. The one who brought me to life is dead; and when I’m gone, the memory of us both will quickly fade. I won’t see the sun or stars anymore, or feel the wind on my face. Light, feeling, and sense will vanish; and I must find my happiness in this state. A few years ago, when I first experienced the beauty of this world, when I felt the warm sunlight in summer and heard the rustling leaves and the chirping birds, I would have cried at the thought of dying; now it’s my only comfort. Corrupted by crimes and torn by deep remorse, where can I find peace if not in death?”
“Farewell! I leave you, and in you the last of human kind whom these eyes will ever behold. Farewell, Frankenstein! If thou wert yet alive, and yet cherished a desire of revenge against me, it would be better satiated in my life than in my destruction. But it was not so; thou didst seek my extinction, that I might not cause greater wretchedness; and if yet, in some mode unknown to me, thou hast not yet ceased to think and feel, thou desirest not my life for my own misery. Blasted as thou wert, my agony was still superior to thine; for the bitter sting of remorse may not cease to rankle in my wounds until death shall close them for ever.
"Goodbye! I'm leaving you, and you're the last of humanity that these eyes will ever see. Goodbye, Frankenstein! If you were still alive and still wanted revenge against me, it would be better for you to fulfill that desire while I'm alive than after my death. But that’s not the case; you sought my end so I wouldn't cause more suffering. And if, in some way that I don’t understand, you have not stopped thinking and feeling, you do not desire my life for my own pain. Though you were destroyed, my suffering was still greater than yours; the painful sting of remorse won't stop tormenting my wounds until death finally puts an end to them."
“But soon,” he cried, with sad and solemn enthusiasm, “I shall die, and what I now feel be no longer felt. Soon these burning miseries will be extinct. I shall ascend my funeral pile triumphantly, and exult in the agony of the torturing flames. The light of that conflagration will fade away; my ashes will be swept into the sea by the winds. My spirit will sleep in peace; or if it thinks, it will not surely think thus. Farewell.”
“But soon,” he exclaimed, with a mix of sadness and intense passion, “I will die, and what I feel now will be gone. Soon, these intense sufferings will come to an end. I will rise up to my funeral pyre with triumph and take joy in the pain of the burning flames. The light from that fire will fade; my ashes will be carried into the sea by the winds. My spirit will rest in peace; or if it does think, it surely won’t think this way. Goodbye.”
He sprung from the cabin-window, as he said this, upon the ice-raft which lay close to the vessel. He was soon borne away by the waves, and lost in darkness and distance.
He jumped out of the cabin window as he said this, landing on the ice raft that was near the ship. He was quickly carried away by the waves and disappeared into the darkness and distance.
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