This is a modern-English version of Wives and Daughters, originally written by Gaskell, Elizabeth Cleghorn.
It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling,
and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.
Scroll to the bottom of this page and you will find a free ePUB download link for this book.
WIVES AND DAUGHTERS.
AN EVERY-DAY STORY.
BY
MRS. GASKELL.
WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY GEORGE DU MAURIER.
CONTENTS
ILLUSTRATIONS
CHAPTER I.
THE DAWN OF A GALA DAY.
o begin with
the old rigmarole of childhood. In a country there was
a shire, and in that shire there was a town, and in that town there
was a house, and in that house there was a room, and in that room
there was a bed, and in that bed there lay a little girl; wide awake
and longing to get up, but not daring to do so for fear of the unseen
power in the next room—a certain Betty, whose slumbers must not be
disturbed until six o'clock struck, when she wakened of herself "as
sure as clockwork," and left the household very little peace
afterwards. It was a June morning, and early as it was, the room was
full of sunny warmth and light.
To start with the familiar routine of childhood. In a country, there was a shire, and in that shire, there was a town, and in that town, there was a house, and in that house, there was a room, and in that room, there was a bed, and in that bed, there lay a little girl; wide awake and eager to get up, but too afraid to do so because of the unseen authority in the next room—a certain Betty, whose sleep must not be interrupted until six o'clock struck, when she would wake up "just like clockwork," and left the household with very little peace afterwards. It was a June morning, and early as it was, the room was filled with sunny warmth and light.
On the drawers opposite to the little white dimity bed in which Molly Gibson lay, was a primitive kind of bonnet-stand on which was hung a bonnet, carefully covered over from any chance of dust with a large cotton handkerchief, of so heavy and serviceable a texture that if the thing underneath it had been a flimsy fabric of gauze and lace and flowers, it would have been altogether "scomfished" (again to quote from Betty's vocabulary). But the bonnet was made of solid straw, and its only trimming was a plain white ribbon put over the crown, and forming the strings. Still, there was a neat little quilling inside, every plait of which Molly knew, for had she not made it herself the evening before, with infinite pains? and was there not a little blue bow in this quilling, the very first bit of such finery Molly had ever had the prospect of wearing?
On the dresser opposite the little white dimity bed where Molly Gibson lay, there was a simple bonnet stand with a bonnet carefully covered to protect it from dust with a large cotton handkerchief. The handkerchief was made of sturdy, practical fabric, so if the item beneath it had been something delicate like gauze, lace, or flowers, it would have been completely crushed (to borrow from Betty’s vocabulary). But the bonnet was made of solid straw, and its only decoration was a plain white ribbon draped over the crown that formed the ties. Still, there was a neat little pleating inside, every fold of which Molly was familiar with since she had made it herself the evening before with great care. And there was a little blue bow in this pleating, the very first piece of such finery Molly had ever hoped to wear.
Six o'clock now! the pleasant, brisk ringing of the church bells told that; calling every one to their daily work, as they had done for hundreds of years. Up jumped Molly, and ran with her bare little feet across the room, and lifted off the handkerchief and saw once again the bonnet; the pledge of the gay bright day to come. Then to the window, and after some tugging she opened the casement, and let in the sweet morning air. The dew was already off the flowers in the garden below, but still rising from the long hay-grass in the meadows directly beyond. At one side lay the little town of Hollingford, into a street of which Mr. Gibson's front door opened; and delicate columns, and little puffs of smoke were already beginning to rise from many a cottage chimney where some housewife was already up, and preparing breakfast for the bread-winner of the family.
It's six o'clock now! The cheerful, ringing of the church bells announced it, calling everyone to their daily tasks, just as they had for hundreds of years. Molly jumped up and ran with her little bare feet across the room, lifted off the handkerchief, and saw the bonnet again; a promise of the bright day ahead. Then she went to the window, and after some struggling, she opened the casement and let in the fresh morning air. The dew was already gone from the flowers in the garden below, but it was still rising from the long grass in the meadows just beyond. To one side lay the small town of Hollingford, with Mr. Gibson's front door opening onto one of its streets, and delicate wisps of smoke were starting to rise from many cottage chimneys where some housewives were already up, preparing breakfast for the breadwinner of the family.
Molly Gibson saw all this, but all she thought about it was, "Oh! it will be a fine day! I was afraid it never, never would come; or that, if it ever came, it would be a rainy day!" Five-and-forty years ago, children's pleasures in a country town were very simple, and Molly had lived for twelve long years without the occurrence of any event so great as that which was now impending. Poor child! it is true that she had lost her mother, which was a jar to the whole tenour of her life; but that was hardly an event in the sense referred to; and besides, she had been too young to be conscious of it at the time. The pleasure she was looking forward to to-day was her first share in a kind of annual festival in Hollingford.
Molly Gibson saw all this, but all she thought was, "Oh! It’s going to be a great day! I was afraid it would never, ever come; or that, if it ever did, it would be a rainy day!" Forty-five years ago, children's joys in a small town were very simple, and Molly had spent twelve long years without any event as momentous as what was about to happen. Poor girl! It’s true she lost her mother, which was a blow to her whole life; but that hardly counted as an event in this sense, and besides, she had been too young to really understand it at the time. The joy she was anticipating today was her first participation in an annual festival in Hollingford.
The little straggling town faded away into country on one side close to the entrance-lodge of a great park, where lived my Lord and Lady Cumnor: "the earl" and "the countess," as they were always called by the inhabitants of the town; where a very pretty amount of feudal feeling still lingered, and showed itself in a number of simple ways, droll enough to look back upon, but serious matters of importance at the time. It was before the passing of the Reform Bill, but a good deal of liberal talk took place occasionally between two or three of the more enlightened freeholders living in Hollingford; and there was a great Tory family in the county who, from time to time, came forward and contested the election with the rival Whig family of Cumnor. One would have thought that the above-mentioned liberal-talking inhabitants would have, at least, admitted the possibility of their voting for the Hely-Harrison, and thus trying to vindicate their independence. But no such thing. "The earl" was lord of the manor, and owner of much of the land on which Hollingford was built; he and his household were fed, and doctored, and, to a certain measure, clothed by the good people of the town; their fathers' grandfathers had always voted for the eldest son of Cumnor Towers, and following in the ancestral track, every man-jack in the place gave his vote to the liege lord, totally irrespective of such chimeras as political opinion.
The small, struggling town faded into the countryside on one side, near the entrance lodge of a large park where my Lord and Lady Cumnor lived. They were always referred to as "the earl" and "the countess" by the townspeople, where a charming sense of feudal loyalty still lingered and showed itself in various simple ways—humorous to reflect on now, but serious matters at the time. This was before the passing of the Reform Bill, but there was quite a bit of liberal conversation now and then among a few of the more progressive landowners living in Hollingford. There was also a prominent Tory family in the county that occasionally came forward to contest elections against the rival Whig family of Cumnor. One might imagine that these liberal-minded townsfolk would at least consider voting for the Hely-Harrison, thus attempting to assert their independence. But that wasn't the case. "The earl" was the lord of the manor and owned much of the land on which Hollingford was built. He and his family were supported in terms of food, healthcare, and to some extent clothing by the townspeople. Their fathers' grandfathers had always voted for the eldest son of Cumnor Towers, and staying true to tradition, every single man in the town cast his vote for their liege lord, completely disregarding matters like political opinion.
This was no unusual instance of the influence of the great land-owners over humbler neighbours in those days before railways, and it was well for a place where the powerful family, who thus overshadowed it, were of so respectable a character as the Cumnors. They expected to be submitted to, and obeyed; the simple worship of the townspeople was accepted by the earl and countess as a right; and they would have stood still in amazement, and with a horrid memory of the French sansculottes who were the bugbears of their youth, had any inhabitant of Hollingford ventured to set his will or opinions in opposition to those of the earl. But, yielded all that obeisance, they did a good deal for the town, and were generally condescending, and often thoughtful and kind in their treatment of their vassals. Lord Cumnor was a forbearing landlord; putting his steward a little on one side sometimes, and taking the reins into his own hands now and then, much to the annoyance of the agent, who was, in fact, too rich and independent to care greatly for preserving a post where his decisions might any day be overturned by my lord's taking a fancy to go "pottering" (as the agent irreverently expressed it in the sanctuary of his own home), which, being interpreted, meant that occasionally the earl asked his own questions of his own tenants, and used his own eyes and ears in the management of the smaller details of his property. But his tenants liked my lord all the better for this habit of his. Lord Cumnor had certainly a little time for gossip, which he contrived to combine with the failing of personal intervention between the old land-steward and the tenantry. But, then, the countess made up by her unapproachable dignity for this weakness of the earl's. Once a year she was condescending. She and the ladies, her daughters, had set up a school; not a school after the manner of schools now-a-days, where far better intellectual teaching is given to the boys and girls of labourers and work-people than often falls to the lot of their betters in worldly estate; but a school of the kind we should call "industrial," where girls are taught to sew beautifully, to be capital housemaids, and pretty fair cooks, and, above all, to dress neatly in a kind of charity uniform devised by the ladies of Cumnor Towers;—white caps, white tippets, check aprons, blue gowns, and ready curtseys, and "please, ma'ams," being de rigueur.
This was no unusual example of the influence that wealthy landowners held over their less fortunate neighbors in the days before railways, and it was fortunate for a place overshadowed by such a respectable family as the Cumnors. They expected to be respected and obeyed; the simple admiration of the townspeople was seen by the earl and countess as their right, and they would have been stunned, recalling the terrifying French sans-culottes of their youth, if any resident of Hollingford dared to oppose the earl's will or opinions. However, while receiving such respect, they contributed significantly to the town and were generally gracious, often thoughtful and kind in their treatment of their tenants. Lord Cumnor was a forgiving landlord; he occasionally set aside his steward and took charge himself, much to the annoyance of the agent, who was too wealthy and independent to be overly concerned about keeping a position where his decisions could be easily overturned by the earl's whims—what the agent irreverently called "pottering" in the privacy of his own home, which meant that from time to time the earl would ask his own questions of his own tenants and personally oversee the management of the smaller details of his estate. But the tenants appreciated my lord even more for this habit. Lord Cumnor certainly had some time for gossip, which he managed to mix with his occasional hands-on involvement between the old land-steward and the tenants. However, the countess compensated for this weakness of the earl's with her unapproachable dignity. Once a year, she was gracious. She and her daughters had established a school—not like modern schools, which often provide better educational opportunities for the children of laborers and workers than what their social betters receive—but a school of the "industrial" kind, where girls learn to sew well, to be excellent housemaids, and decent cooks, and, most importantly, to dress neatly in a charity uniform designed by the ladies of Cumnor Towers—white caps, white tippets, checkered aprons, blue gowns, and proper curtseys along with "please, ma'ams" being de rigueur.
Now, as the countess was absent from the Towers for a considerable part of the year, she was glad to enlist the sympathy of the Hollingford ladies in this school, with a view to obtaining their aid as visitors during the many months that she and her daughters were away. And the various unoccupied gentlewomen of the town responded to the call of their liege lady, and gave her their service as required; and along with it, a great deal of whispered and fussy admiration. "How good of the countess! So like the dear countess—always thinking of others!" and so on; while it was always supposed that no strangers had seen Hollingford properly, unless they had been taken to the countess's school, and been duly impressed by the neat little pupils, and the still neater needlework there to be inspected. In return, there was a day of honour set apart every summer, when with much gracious and stately hospitality, Lady Cumnor and her daughters received all the school visitors at the Towers, the great family mansion standing in aristocratic seclusion in the centre of the large park, of which one of the lodges was close to the little town. The order of this annual festivity was this. About ten o'clock one of the Towers' carriages rolled through the lodge, and drove to different houses, wherein dwelt a woman to be honoured; picking them up by ones or twos, till the loaded carriage drove back again through the ready portals, bowled along the smooth tree-shaded road, and deposited its covey of smartly-dressed ladies on the great flight of steps leading to the ponderous doors of Cumnor Towers. Back again to the town; another picking up of womankind in their best clothes, and another return, and so on till the whole party were assembled either in the house or in the really beautiful gardens. After the proper amount of exhibition on the one part, and admiration on the other, had been done, there was a collation for the visitors, and some more display and admiration of the treasures inside the house. Towards four o'clock, coffee was brought round; and this was a signal of the approaching carriage that was to take them back to their own homes; whither they returned with the happy consciousness of a well-spent day, but with some fatigue at the long-continued exertion of behaving their best, and talking on stilts for so many hours. Nor were Lady Cumnor and her daughters free from something of the same self-approbation, and something, too, of the same fatigue; the fatigue that always follows on conscious efforts to behave as will best please the society you are in.
Now, since the countess was away from the Towers for a large part of the year, she was happy to gain the support of the ladies in Hollingford to help with the school while she and her daughters were gone. The various unoccupied women in town answered their lady’s call and offered their assistance as needed, along with plenty of whispered admiration. "How kind of the countess! So typical of the dear countess—always thinking of others!" they would say, while it was generally believed that no visitors had truly experienced Hollingford unless they had been taken to the countess's school and impressed by the neat little students and the even neater needlework on display. In return, every summer, a special day was set aside when Lady Cumnor and her daughters graciously hosted all the school visitors at the Towers, the grand family mansion standing in elegant isolation at the center of a large park, one of the lodges being close to the town. The event unfolded like this: around ten o’clock, one of the Towers’ carriages would come through the lodge and drive to various houses to pick up honored women, collecting them one or two at a time until the filled carriage returned through the welcoming gates, gliding along the smooth, tree-lined road, and dropping off a group of elegantly dressed ladies at the grand steps leading to the heavy doors of Cumnor Towers. Then back to the town it would go; another round of picking up women in their finest clothes, and another return, and so forth until everyone was gathered either inside the house or in the truly beautiful gardens. After the appropriate amount of showcasing and admiration, there would be a light meal for the visitors, followed by more display and admiration of the treasures in the house. Around four o'clock, coffee would be served, signaling the arrival of the carriage that would take them back home, where they returned feeling pleased with a well-spent day, but somewhat weary from the effort of behaving their best and making small talk for so long. Lady Cumnor and her daughters also felt a bit of the same self-satisfaction along with a sense of fatigue from trying hard to be as pleasing as possible to their guests.
For the first time in her life, Molly Gibson was to be included among the guests at the Towers. She was much too young to be a visitor at the school, so it was not on that account that she was to go; but it had so happened that one day when Lord Cumnor was on a "pottering" expedition, he had met Mr. Gibson, the doctor of the neighbourhood, coming out of the farm-house my lord was entering; and having some small question to ask the surgeon (Lord Cumnor seldom passed any one of his acquaintance without asking a question of some sort—not always attending to the answer; it was his mode of conversation), he accompanied Mr. Gibson to the out-building, to a ring in the wall of which the surgeon's horse was fastened. Molly was there too, sitting square and quiet on her rough little pony, waiting for her father. Her grave eyes opened large and wide at the close neighbourhood and evident advance of "the earl;" for to her little imagination the grey-haired, red-faced, somewhat clumsy man, was a cross between an arch-angel and a king.
For the first time in her life, Molly Gibson was going to be included among the guests at the Towers. She was far too young to be a visitor at the school, so that wasn't the reason for her trip; instead, it happened that one day when Lord Cumnor was out exploring, he bumped into Mr. Gibson, the local doctor, who was coming out of the farmhouse that Lord Cumnor was entering. Having a small question to ask the surgeon (Lord Cumnor rarely passed someone he knew without asking a question of some sort—not always paying attention to the answer; it was just how he conversed), he accompanied Mr. Gibson to the outbuilding, where the surgeon's horse was tied to a ring in the wall. Molly was there, sitting still on her small, scruffy pony, waiting for her father. Her serious eyes widened at the sight of "the earl" getting closer, as her young mind thought of the grey-haired, red-faced, somewhat awkward man as a mix between an archangel and a king.
"Your daughter, eh, Gibson?—nice little girl, how old? Pony wants grooming though," patting it as he talked. "What's your name, my dear? He's sadly behindhand with his rent, as I was saying, but if he's really ill, I must see after Sheepshanks, who is a hardish man of business. What's his complaint? You'll come to our school-scrimmage on Thursday, little girl—what's-your-name? Mind you send her, or bring her, Gibson; and just give a word to your groom, for I'm sure that pony wasn't singed last year, now, was he? Don't forget Thursday, little girl—what's-your-name?—it's a promise between us, is it not?" And off the earl trotted, attracted by the sight of the farmer's eldest son on the other side of the yard.
"Your daughter, right, Gibson?—nice little girl, how old is she? The pony needs grooming though," he said, patting it as he spoke. "What’s your name, sweetheart? He’s really behind on his rent, like I mentioned, but if he’s genuinely sick, I have to take care of Sheepshanks, who can be pretty tough when it comes to business. What’s wrong with him? You’ll come to our school game on Thursday, little girl—what’s-your-name? Make sure you send her or bring her, Gibson; also, just have a word with your groom because I’m sure that pony wasn’t singed last year, right? Don’t forget Thursday, little girl—what’s-your-name?—it’s a promise between us, isn’t it?" And off the earl went, drawn by the sight of the farmer's oldest son on the other side of the yard.
Mr. Gibson mounted, and he and Molly rode off. They did not speak for some time. Then she said, "May I go, papa?" in rather an anxious little tone of voice.
Mr. Gibson got on his horse, and he and Molly rode away. They didn't say anything for a while. Then she asked, "Can I go, Dad?" in a somewhat nervous little voice.
"Where, my dear?" said he, wakening up out of his own professional thoughts.
"Where to, my dear?" he asked, coming out of his own professional thoughts.
"To the Towers—on Thursday, you know. That gentleman" (she was shy of calling him by his title), "asked me."
"To the Towers—on Thursday, you know. That guy" (she hesitated to call him by his title), "asked me."
"Would you like it, my dear? It has always seemed to me rather a tiresome piece of gaiety—rather a tiring day, I mean—beginning so early—and the heat, and all that."
"Do you like it, my dear? It always seems to me like a pretty exhausting fun time—more like a long day, I mean—starting so early—and with the heat and everything."
"Oh, papa!" said Molly, reproachfully.
"Oh, Dad!" said Molly, reproachfully.
"You'd like to go then, would you?"
"You want to go, right?"
"Yes; if I may!—He asked me, you know. Don't you think I may?—he asked me twice over."
"Yes; if I can!—He asked me, you know. Don’t you think I can?—he asked me twice."
"Well! we'll see—yes! I think we can manage it, if you wish it so much, Molly."
"Well! We'll see—yeah! I think we can do it if you really want it, Molly."
Then they were silent again. By-and-by, Molly said,—
Then they were silent again. After a while, Molly said,—
"Please, papa—I do wish to go,—but I don't care about it."
"Please, Dad—I really want to go—but I don't mind if I don't."
"That's rather a puzzling speech. But I suppose you mean you don't care to go, if it will be any trouble to get you there. I can easily manage it, however, so you may consider it settled. You'll want a white frock, remember; you'd better tell Betty you're going, and she'll see after making you tidy."
"That's quite a confusing speech. But I guess you mean you don't want to go if it's going to be a hassle to get you there. I can easily sort it out, though, so you can consider it done. You'll want a white dress, remember; you should let Betty know you're going, and she'll make sure you look neat."
Now, there were two or three things to be done by Mr. Gibson, before he could feel quite comfortable about Molly's going to the festival at the Towers, and each of them involved a little trouble on his part. But he was very willing to gratify his little girl; so the next day he rode over to the Towers, ostensibly to visit some sick housemaid, but, in reality, to throw himself in my lady's way, and get her to ratify Lord Cumnor's invitation to Molly. He chose his time, with a little natural diplomacy; which, indeed, he had often to exercise in his intercourse with the great family. He rode into the stable-yard about twelve o'clock, a little before luncheon-time, and yet after the worry of opening the post-bag and discussing its contents was over. After he had put up his horse, he went in by the back-way to the house; the "House" on this side, the "Towers" at the front. He saw his patient, gave his directions to the housekeeper, and then went out, with a rare wild-flower in his hand, to find one of the ladies Tranmere in the garden, where, according to his hope and calculation, he came upon Lady Cumnor too,—now talking to her daughter about the contents of an open letter which she held in her hand, now directing a gardener about certain bedding-out plants.
Now, Mr. Gibson had a couple of things to sort out before he could feel completely okay with Molly going to the festival at the Towers, and each of them required a bit of effort on his part. But he was very eager to make his little girl happy; so the next day he rode over to the Towers, pretending to visit a sick housemaid, but really to get in touch with my lady and have her confirm Lord Cumnor's invitation for Molly. He chose his timing with some natural diplomacy, which he often had to use when dealing with the prominent family. He arrived in the stable yard around noon, just before lunchtime, after the hassle of dealing with the post-bag and discussing its contents was done. Once he stabled his horse, he went in through the back way to the house; the "House" on this side, the "Towers" at the front. He saw his patient, gave instructions to the housekeeper, and then stepped outside, with a rare wildflower in his hand, hoping to find one of the ladies Tranmere in the garden, where, as he had planned, he came across Lady Cumnor too—talking to her daughter about the contents of an open letter she was holding and directing a gardener regarding some bedding plants.
"I was calling to see Nanny, and I took the opportunity of bringing Lady Agnes the plant I was telling her about as growing on Cumnor Moss."
"I called to see Nanny, and I took the chance to bring Lady Agnes the plant I mentioned that grows on Cumnor Moss."
"Thank you, so much, Mr. Gibson. Mamma, look! this is the Drosera rotundifolia I have been wanting so long."
"Thank you so much, Mr. Gibson. Mom, look! This is the Drosera rotundifolia I've been wanting for so long."
"Ah! yes; very pretty I daresay, only I am no botanist. Nanny is better, I hope? We can't have any one laid up next week, for the house will be quite full of people,—and here are the Danbys waiting to offer themselves as well. One comes down for a fortnight of quiet, at Whitsuntide, and leaves half one's establishment in town, and as soon as people know of our being here, we get letters without end, longing for a breath of country air, or saying how lovely the Towers must look in spring; and I must own, Lord Cumnor is a great deal to blame for it all, for as soon as ever we are down here, he rides about to all the neighbours, and invites them to come over and spend a few days."
"Ah, yes; very nice, I suppose, but I'm no botanist. I hope Nanny is doing better? We can't have anyone sick next week because the house will be completely full of people—and the Danbys are here wanting to visit too. One comes down for a quiet two weeks at Whitsuntide and leaves half the staff back in town, and as soon as people find out we're here, we get endless letters, either longing for some fresh country air or saying how beautiful the Towers must look in the spring; and I have to admit, Lord Cumnor is a big part of the problem because as soon as we arrive, he rides around to all the neighbors and invites them to come over for a few days."
"We shall go back to town on Friday the 18th," said Lady Agnes, in a consolatory tone.
"We'll head back to town on Friday the 18th," Lady Agnes said, in a comforting tone.
"Ah, yes! as soon as we have got over the school visitors' affair. But it is a week to that happy day."
"Ah, yes! as soon as we get past the school visitors' event. But it's a week until that happy day."
"By the way!" said Mr. Gibson, availing himself of the good opening thus presented, "I met my lord at the Cross-trees Farm yesterday, and he was kind enough to ask my little daughter, who was with me, to be one of the party here on Thursday; it would give the lassie great pleasure, I believe." He paused for Lady Cumnor to speak.
"By the way!" Mr. Gibson said, seizing the good opportunity, "I ran into my lord at the Cross-trees Farm yesterday, and he was nice enough to invite my little daughter, who was with me, to join the party here on Thursday; I believe it would bring her a lot of joy." He paused for Lady Cumnor to respond.
"Oh, well! if my lord asked her, I suppose she must come, but I wish he was not so amazingly hospitable! Not but what the little girl will be quite welcome; only, you see, he met a younger Miss Browning the other day, of whose existence I had never heard."
"Oh, well! If my lord asked her, I guess she has to come, but I really wish he wasn't so incredibly hospitable! It's not that I don't welcome the little girl; it's just that he ran into a younger Miss Browning the other day, someone I never knew existed."
"She visits at the school, mamma," said Lady Agnes.
"She goes to the school, mom," said Lady Agnes.
"Well, perhaps she does; I never said she did not. I knew there was one visitor of the name of Browning; I never knew there were two, but, of course, as soon as Lord Cumnor heard there was another, he must needs ask her; so the carriage will have to go backwards and forwards four times now to fetch them all. So your daughter can come quite easily, Mr. Gibson, and I shall be very glad to see her for your sake. She can sit bodkin with the Brownings, I suppose? You'll arrange it all with them; and mind you get Nanny well up to her work next week."
"Well, maybe she does; I never said she didn’t. I knew there was one visitor named Browning; I never knew there were two, but of course, as soon as Lord Cumnor heard there was another, he had to ask her. So now the carriage will have to go back and forth four times to pick them all up. Your daughter can come easily, Mr. Gibson, and I’ll be really happy to see her for your sake. She can sit with the Brownings, right? You’ll arrange everything with them; and make sure Nanny is on top of her work next week."
Just as Mr. Gibson was going away, Lady Cumnor called after him, "Oh! by-the-by, Clare is here; you remember Clare, don't you? She was a patient of yours, long ago."
Just as Mr. Gibson was leaving, Lady Cumnor called out to him, "Oh! By the way, Clare is here; you remember Clare, right? She was one of your patients a long time ago."
"Clare," he repeated, in a bewildered tone.
"Clare," he said again, sounding confused.
"Don't you recollect her? Miss Clare, our old governess," said Lady Agnes. "About twelve or fourteen years ago, before Lady Cuxhaven was married."
"Don’t you remember her? Miss Clare, our old governess," said Lady Agnes. "About twelve or fourteen years ago, before Lady Cuxhaven got married."
"Oh, yes!" said he. "Miss Clare, who had the scarlet fever here; a very pretty delicate girl. But I thought she was married!"
"Oh, yes!" he said. "Miss Clare, who had scarlet fever here; a very pretty, delicate girl. But I thought she was married!"
"Yes!" said Lady Cumnor. "She was a silly little thing, and did not know when she was well off; we were all very fond of her, I'm sure. She went and married a poor curate, and became a stupid Mrs. Kirkpatrick; but we always kept on calling her 'Clare.' And now he's dead, and left her a widow, and she is staying here; and we are racking our brains to find out some way of helping her to a livelihood without parting her from her child. She's somewhere about the grounds, if you like to renew your acquaintance with her."
"Yes!" said Lady Cumnor. "She was a naive young woman who didn't realize how good she had it; we all really liked her, I'm sure. She went and married a poor curate and became a dull Mrs. Kirkpatrick; but we still always called her 'Clare.' And now he's dead and left her a widow, and she’s staying here with us; we’re trying to figure out how to help her make a living without separating her from her child. She’s somewhere on the grounds if you want to reconnect with her."
"Thank you, my lady. I'm afraid I cannot stop to-day. I have a long round to go; I've stayed here too long as it is, I'm afraid."
"Thank you, ma'am. I'm sorry, but I can't stay today. I have a long way to go; I've already been here too long, I think."
Long as his ride had been that day, he called on the Miss Brownings in the evening, to arrange about Molly's accompanying them to the Towers. They were tall handsome women, past their first youth, and inclined to be extremely complaisant to the widowed doctor.
As long as his journey had been that day, he visited the Miss Brownings in the evening to discuss Molly joining them at the Towers. They were tall, attractive women, no longer young, and tended to be very accommodating to the widowed doctor.
"Eh dear! Mr. Gibson, but we shall be delighted to have her with us. You should never have thought of asking us such a thing," said Miss Browning the elder.
"Oh dear! Mr. Gibson, we would be thrilled to have her with us. You should never have considered asking us that," said Miss Browning the elder.
"I'm sure I'm hardly sleeping at nights for thinking of it," said Miss Phœbe. "You know I've never been there before. Sister has many a time; but somehow, though my name has been down on the visitors' list these three years, the countess has never named me in her note; and you know I could not push myself into notice, and go to such a grand place without being asked; how could I?"
"I'm sure I hardly sleep at night thinking about it," said Miss Phœbe. "You know I've never been there before. My sister has many times; but somehow, even though my name has been on the visitors' list for three years, the countess has never mentioned me in her note; and you know I couldn't just insert myself into the conversation and go to such a fancy place without being invited; how could I?"
"I told Phœbe last year," said her sister, "that I was sure it was only inadvertence, as one may call it, on the part of the countess, and that her ladyship would be as hurt as any one when she didn't see Phœbe among the school visitors; but Phœbe has got a delicate mind, you see, Mr. Gibson, and all I could say she wouldn't go, but stopped here at home; and it spoilt all my pleasure all that day, I do assure you, to think of Phœbe's face, as I saw it over the window-blinds, as I rode away; her eyes were full of tears, if you'll believe me."
"I told Phœbe last year," her sister said, "that I was sure it was just a mistake on the countess’s part, and that she would be as upset as anyone when she didn’t see Phœbe among the school visitors. But Phœbe has a sensitive nature, you see, Mr. Gibson, and no matter what I said, she wouldn’t go and stayed home instead. It ruined my whole day, I really mean it, just thinking about Phœbe’s expression as I saw it through the window blinds while I rode away; her eyes were full of tears, if you can believe it."
"I had a good cry after you was gone, Dorothy," said Miss Phœbe; "but for all that, I think I was right in stopping away from where I was not asked. Don't you, Mr. Gibson?"
"I had a good cry after you were gone, Dorothy," said Miss Phœbe; "but even so, I think I was right to stay away from places where I wasn't invited. Don't you agree, Mr. Gibson?"
"Certainly," said he. "And you see you are going this year; and last year it rained."
"Definitely," he said. "And you see you're going this year; and last year it rained."
"Yes! I remember! I set myself to tidy my drawers, to string myself up, as it were; and I was so taken up with what I was about that I was quite startled when I heard the rain beating against the window-panes. 'Goodness me!' said I to myself, 'whatever will become of sister's white satin shoes, if she has to walk about on soppy grass after such rain as this?' for, you see, I thought a deal about her having a pair of smart shoes; and this year she has gone and got me a white satin pair just as smart as hers, for a surprise."
"Yes! I remember! I decided to tidy up my drawers and get myself organized, and I was so focused on what I was doing that I was completely startled when I heard the rain hitting the window panes. 'Goodness!' I thought, 'what will happen to my sister's white satin shoes if she has to walk around on soggy grass after this rain?' I really cared about her having a nice pair of shoes, and this year she surprised me with a white satin pair that's just as nice as hers."
"Molly will know she's to put on her best clothes," said Miss Browning. "We could perhaps lend her a few beads, or artificials, if she wants them."
"Molly will understand that she needs to wear her best clothes," said Miss Browning. "We could maybe lend her some beads or accessories if she wants them."
"Molly must go in a clean white frock," said Mr. Gibson, rather hastily; for he did not admire the Miss Brownings' taste in dress, and was unwilling to have his child decked up according to their fancy; he esteemed his old servant Betty's as the more correct, because the more simple. Miss Browning had just a shade of annoyance in her tone as she drew herself up, and said, "Oh! very well. It's quite right, I'm sure." But Miss Phœbe said, "Molly will look very nice in whatever she puts on, that's certain."
"Molly has to wear a clean white dress," Mr. Gibson said quickly, because he didn't like the way the Miss Brownings dressed and didn't want his child all dressed up according to their style; he considered his old servant Betty's taste better, since it was simpler. Miss Browning sounded slightly annoyed as she straightened up and replied, "Oh! very well. I'm sure it's perfectly fine." But Miss Phœbe added, "Molly will look great in whatever she wears, that's for sure."
CHAPTER II.
A NOVICE AMONGST THE GREAT FOLK.
At ten o'clock on the eventful Thursday the Towers' carriage began its work. Molly was ready long before it made its first appearance, although it had been settled that she and the Miss Brownings were not to go until the last, or fourth, time of its coming. Her face had been soaped, scrubbed, and shone brilliantly clean; her frills, her frock, her ribbons were all snow-white. She had on a black mode cloak that had been her mother's; it was trimmed round with rich lace, and looked quaint and old-fashioned on the child. For the first time in her life she wore kid gloves; hitherto she had only had cotton ones. Her gloves were far too large for the little dimpled fingers, but as Betty had told her they were to last her for years, it was all very well. She trembled many a time, and almost turned faint once with the long expectation of the morning. Betty might say what she liked about a watched pot never boiling; Molly never ceased to watch the approach through the winding street, and after two hours the carriage came for her at last. She had to sit very forward to avoid crushing the Miss Brownings' new dresses; and yet not too forward, for fear of incommoding fat Mrs. Goodenough and her niece, who occupied the front seat of the carriage; so that altogether the fact of sitting down at all was rather doubtful, and to add to her discomfort, Molly felt herself to be very conspicuously placed in the centre of the carriage, a mark for all the observation of Hollingford. It was far too much of a gala day for the work of the little town to go forward with its usual regularity. Maid-servants gazed out of upper windows; shopkeepers' wives stood on the door-steps; cottagers ran out, with babies in their arms; and little children, too young to know how to behave respectfully at the sight of an earl's carriage, huzzaed merrily as it bowled along. The woman at the lodge held the gate open, and dropped a low curtsey to the liveries. And now they were in the Park; and now they were in sight of the Towers, and silence fell upon the carriage-full of ladies, only broken by one faint remark from Mrs. Goodenough's niece, a stranger to the town, as they drew up before the double semicircle flight of steps which led to the door of the mansion.
At ten o'clock on that busy Thursday, the Towers' carriage started its rounds. Molly was ready long before it showed up for the first time, even though it was decided that she and the Miss Brownings would go last, on the fourth trip. Her face had been scrubbed and was shining bright; her frills, dress, and ribbons were all pure white. She wore a black cloak that had belonged to her mother, trimmed with fancy lace, giving her a charmingly old-fashioned look. For the first time in her life, she was wearing kid gloves; until now, she had only worn cotton ones. The gloves were way too big for her tiny, dimpled fingers, but since Betty told her they would fit for years, it was fine. She shook with anticipation and nearly fainted once during the long wait of the morning. No matter what Betty had said about a watched pot never boiling, Molly couldn't help but keep an eye on the winding street, and after two hours, the carriage finally arrived for her. She had to sit forward to avoid squishing the Miss Brownings' new dresses, but not too far forward because she didn’t want to inconvenience plump Mrs. Goodenough and her niece, who took up the front seat. So, sitting at all felt kind of awkward, and to make matters worse, Molly felt very much in the spotlight, sitting in the center of the carriage, an object of attention for everyone in Hollingford. It was too festive a day for the little town to carry on with its usual routine. Maid-servants peeked out from upper windows, shopkeepers' wives stood on doorsteps, villagers rushed out with their babies, and little kids who didn't know how to act properly in front of an earl's carriage cheered happily as it rolled by. The woman at the gate opened it wide and gave a low curtsy to the passengers. Now they were in the Park; now they were approaching the Towers, and silence fell over the carriage full of ladies, only interrupted by a faint comment from Mrs. Goodenough's niece, a newcomer to the town, as they pulled up to the grand semicircular steps leading to the mansion's entrance.
"They call that a perron, I believe, don't they?" she asked. But the only answer she obtained was a simultaneous "hush." It was very awful, as Molly thought, and she half wished herself at home again. But she lost all consciousness of herself by-and-by when the party strolled out into the beautiful grounds, the like of which she had never even imagined. Green velvet lawns, bathed in sunshine, stretched away on every side into the finely wooded park; if there were divisions and ha-has between the soft sunny sweeps of grass, and the dark gloom of the forest-trees beyond, Molly did not see them; and the melting away of exquisite cultivation into the wilderness had an inexplicable charm to her. Near the house there were walls and fences; but they were covered with climbing roses, and rare honeysuckles and other creepers just bursting into bloom. There were flower-beds, too, scarlet, crimson, blue, orange; masses of blossom lying on the greensward. Molly held Miss Browning's hand very tight as they loitered about in company with several other ladies, and marshalled by a daughter of the Towers, who seemed half amused at the voluble admiration showered down upon every possible thing and place. Molly said nothing, as became her age and position, but every now and then she relieved her full heart by drawing a deep breath, almost like a sigh. Presently they came to the long glittering range of greenhouses and hothouses, and an attendant gardener was there to admit the party. Molly did not care for this half so much as for the flowers in the open air; but Lady Agnes had a more scientific taste, she expatiated on the rarity of this plant, and the mode of cultivation required by that, till Molly began to feel very tired, and then very faint. She was too shy to speak for some time; but at length, afraid of making a greater sensation if she began to cry, or if she fell against the stands of precious flowers, she caught at Miss Browning's hand, and gasped out—
"They call that a perron, right?" she asked. But the only response she got was a simultaneous "hush." It was really awful, Molly thought, and she half wished she were back home. But she gradually lost awareness of herself when the party walked out into the beautiful grounds, which she had never even imagined. Green velvet lawns, drenched in sunlight, stretched out on every side into the beautifully wooded park; if there were divisions and ha-has between the soft sunny expanses of grass and the dark gloom of the forest trees beyond, Molly didn’t notice them; the blend of exquisite grooming into the wilderness had an unexplainable charm for her. Near the house, there were walls and fences, but they were covered in climbing roses and rare honeysuckles and other creepers just beginning to bloom. There were flowerbeds, too, in scarlet, crimson, blue, and orange; heaps of blossoms scattered across the green grass. Molly held Miss Browning's hand tightly as they wandered around with several other ladies, guided by a daughter of the Towers, who seemed half amused by the enthusiastic admiration directed at everything and everywhere. Molly said nothing, as was fitting for her age and position, but every so often she eased her full heart with a deep breath, almost like a sigh. Soon they arrived at the long, shimmering row of greenhouses and hothouses, and a gardener was there to let the party in. Molly didn’t care for this nearly as much as for the flowers outside; but Lady Agnes had more scientific tastes, talking about the rarity of this plant and the cultivation methods for that one, until Molly started to feel very tired, and then very faint. She was too shy to speak for a while; but eventually, worried that she would make a bigger scene if she started to cry or if she leaned against the stands of precious flowers, she grabbed Miss Browning's hand and gasped out—
"May I go back, out into the garden? I can't breathe here!"
"Can I go back outside to the garden? I can't breathe in here!"
"Oh, yes, to be sure, love. I daresay it's hard understanding for you, love; but it's very fine and instructive, and a deal of Latin in it too."
"Oh, yes, for sure, love. I bet it's hard for you to understand, love; but it's really great and educational, and there's a lot of Latin in it too."
She turned hastily round not to lose another word of Lady Agnes' lecture on orchids, and Molly turned back and passed out of the heated atmosphere. She felt better in the fresh air; and unobserved, and at liberty, went from one lovely spot to another, now in the open park, now in some shut-in flower-garden, where the song of the birds, and the drip of the central fountain, were the only sounds, and the tree-tops made an enclosing circle in the blue June sky; she went along without more thought as to her whereabouts than a butterfly has, as it skims from flower to flower, till at length she grew very weary, and wished to return to the house, but did not know how, and felt afraid of encountering all the strangers who would be there, unprotected by either of the Miss Brownings. The hot sun told upon her head, and it began to ache. She saw a great wide-spreading cedar-tree upon a burst of lawn towards which she was advancing, and the black repose beneath its branches lured her thither. There was a rustic seat in the shadow, and weary Molly sate down there, and presently fell asleep.
She quickly turned around so she wouldn’t miss another word of Lady Agnes' talk on orchids, and Molly turned back and stepped out of the stuffy atmosphere. She felt better in the fresh air; unobserved and free, she moved from one beautiful spot to another, sometimes in the open park, sometimes in a secluded flower garden, where the only sounds were the birds singing and the water dripping from the central fountain, and the tree tops formed a circle against the blue June sky. She wandered on without any more thought about where she was than a butterfly has as it flits from flower to flower, until she eventually grew very tired and wanted to head back to the house, but she didn't know how and felt anxious about running into all the strangers who would be there, not having either of the Miss Brownings to protect her. The hot sun was wearing her down, and her head started to hurt. She spotted a large, wide-spreading cedar tree in a patch of lawn she was approaching, and the cool shade beneath its branches drew her in. There was a rustic bench in the shadow, and tired Molly sat down there and soon fell asleep.
She was startled from her slumbers after a time, and jumped to her feet. Two ladies were standing by her, talking about her. They were perfect strangers to her, and with a vague conviction that she had done something wrong, and also because she was worn-out with hunger, fatigue, and the morning's excitement, she began to cry.
She was jolted awake after a while and jumped up. Two women were standing next to her, talking about her. She didn't know them at all, and with a strange sense that she had done something wrong, combined with her exhaustion from hunger, fatigue, and the excitement of the morning, she started to cry.
"Poor little woman! She has lost herself; she belongs to some of the people from Hollingford, I have no doubt," said the oldest-looking of the two ladies; she who appeared to be about forty, though she did not really number more than thirty years. She was plain-featured, and had rather a severe expression on her face; her dress was as rich as any morning dress could be; her voice deep and unmodulated,—what in a lower rank of life would have been called gruff; but that was not a word to apply to Lady Cuxhaven, the eldest daughter of the earl and countess. The other lady looked much younger, but she was in fact some years the elder; at first sight Molly thought she was the most beautiful person she had ever seen, and she was certainly a very lovely woman. Her voice, too, was soft and plaintive, as she replied to Lady Cuxhaven,—
"Poor woman! She's lost herself; she must belong to some people from Hollingford, I'm sure," said the older of the two ladies, who looked around forty, even though she was really only thirty. She had plain features and a rather stern expression; her dress was as luxurious as any morning outfit could be; her voice was deep and flat—what would have been considered gruff in a lower class. But "gruff" was not a term that applied to Lady Cuxhaven, the eldest daughter of the earl and countess. The other lady looked much younger, but she was actually a few years older; at first glance, Molly thought she was the most beautiful person she had ever seen, and she was certainly a very stunning woman. Her voice was soft and mournful as she responded to Lady Cuxhaven—
"Poor little darling! she is overcome by the heat, I have no doubt—such a heavy straw bonnet, too. Let me untie it for you, my dear."
"Poor little darling! I have no doubt she's overwhelmed by the heat—especially with such a heavy straw bonnet. Let me help you take it off, my dear."
Molly now found voice to say—"I am Molly Gibson, please. I came here with Miss Brownings;" for her great fear was that she should be taken for an unauthorized intruder.
Molly now managed to speak up—"I’m Molly Gibson, by the way. I came here with Miss Brownings;" because her biggest fear was that she would be mistaken for an unwanted intruder.
"Miss Brownings?" said Lady Cuxhaven to her companion, as if inquiringly.
"Miss Brownings?" Lady Cuxhaven said to her companion, almost like she was asking a question.
"I think they were the two tall large young women that Lady Agnes was talking about."
"I think they were the two tall, big young women that Lady Agnes was talking about."
"Oh, I daresay. I saw she had a number of people in tow;" then looking again at Molly, she said, "Have you had anything to eat, child, since you came? You look a very white little thing; or is it the heat?"
"Oh, I must say. I noticed she had quite a few people with her;" then looking back at Molly, she asked, "Have you eaten anything, dear, since you got here? You look very pale; or is it just the heat?"
"I have had nothing to eat," said Molly, rather piteously; for, indeed, before she fell asleep she had been very hungry.
"I haven't eaten anything," Molly said, sounding quite sad; because, really, before she fell asleep, she had been very hungry.
The two ladies spoke to each other in a low voice; then the elder said in a voice of authority, which, indeed, she had always used in speaking to the other, "Sit still here, my dear; we are going to the house, and Clare shall bring you something to eat before you try to walk back; it must be a quarter of a mile at least." So they went away, and Molly sat upright, waiting for the promised messenger. She did not know who Clare might be, and she did not care much for food now; but she felt as if she could not walk without some help. At length she saw the pretty lady coming back, followed by a footman with a small tray.
The two women whispered to each other; then the older one said in an authoritative tone, which she always used when talking to the younger, "Stay right here, my dear; we're heading to the house, and Clare will bring you something to eat before you attempt to walk back; it's at least a quarter of a mile." With that, they left, and Molly sat up, waiting for the promised messenger. She didn't know who Clare was and didn't care much about food at the moment, but she felt like she couldn't walk without some assistance. Eventually, she saw the pretty lady returning, followed by a footman holding a small tray.
"Look how kind Lady Cuxhaven is," said she who was called Clare. "She chose you out this little lunch herself; and now you must try and eat it, and you'll be quite right when you've had some food, darling—You need not stop, Edwards; I will bring the tray back with me."
"Look at how nice Lady Cuxhaven is," said Clare. "She personally picked out this little lunch for you, and now you need to try and eat it. You'll feel so much better once you've had some food, darling—You don’t have to stop, Edwards; I’ll take the tray back with me."
There was some bread, and some cold chicken, and some jelly, and a glass of wine, and a bottle of sparkling water, and a bunch of grapes. Molly put out her trembling little hand for the water; but she was too faint to hold it. Clare put it to her mouth, and she took a long draught and was refreshed. But she could not eat; she tried, but she could not; her headache was too bad. Clare looked bewildered. "Take some grapes, they will be the best for you; you must try and eat something, or I don't know how I shall get you to the house."
There was some bread, cold chicken, jelly, a glass of wine, a bottle of sparkling water, and a bunch of grapes. Molly reached out her shaky little hand for the water, but she was too weak to hold it. Clare brought it to her mouth, and she took a long drink, feeling refreshed. But she couldn't eat; she tried, but she couldn't; her headache was too bad. Clare looked confused. "Have some grapes; they'll be the best for you. You have to try to eat something, or I don't know how I'm going to get you to the house."
"My head aches so," said Molly, lifting her heavy eyes wistfully.
"My head hurts so much," said Molly, lifting her heavy eyes with a sigh.
"Oh, dear, how tiresome!" said Clare, still in her sweet gentle voice, not at all as if she was angry, only expressing an obvious truth. Molly felt very guilty and very unhappy. Clare went on, with a shade of asperity in her tone: "You see, I don't know what to do with you here if you don't eat enough to enable you to walk home. And I've been out for these three hours trapesing about the grounds till I'm as tired as can be, and missed my lunch and all." Then, as if a new idea had struck her, she said,—"You lie back in that seat for a few minutes, and try to eat the bunch of grapes, and I'll wait for you, and just be eating a mouthful meanwhile. You are sure you don't want this chicken?"
"Oh, come on, this is so frustrating!" Clare said in her sweet, gentle voice, sounding nothing like someone who was angry, just stating the obvious. Molly felt really guilty and unhappy. Clare continued, with a hint of irritation in her tone: "You see, I don't know what to do with you here if you don't eat enough to be able to walk home. I've been out for three hours, wandering around the grounds until I'm completely exhausted, and I missed my lunch and everything." Then, as if a new idea had come to her, she said, "Why don't you lean back in that seat for a few minutes and try to eat the bunch of grapes? I'll wait for you and just grab a bite in the meantime. Are you sure you don't want this chicken?"
Molly did as she was bid, and leant back, picking languidly at the grapes, and watching the good appetite with which the lady ate up the chicken and jelly, and drank the glass of wine. She was so pretty and so graceful in her deep mourning, that even her hurry in eating, as if she was afraid of some one coming to surprise her in the act, did not keep her little observer from admiring her in all she did.
Molly did what she was told and leaned back, lazily picking at the grapes while watching the woman enjoy the chicken and jelly and drink her glass of wine. She looked so pretty and graceful in her deep mourning that even the woman's hurried eating, as if she was worried about being caught, didn’t stop Molly from admiring everything she did.
"And now, darling, are you ready to go?" said she, when she had eaten up everything on the tray. "Oh, come; you have nearly finished your grapes; that's a good girl. Now, if you will come with me to the side entrance, I will take you up to my own room, and you shall lie down on the bed for an hour or two; and if you have a good nap your headache will be quite gone."
"And now, sweetheart, are you ready to head out?" she asked after finishing everything on the tray. "Oh, come on; you've almost finished your grapes; that's a good girl. Now, if you come with me to the side entrance, I'll take you up to my room, and you can lie down on the bed for an hour or two; if you take a nice nap, your headache will be completely gone."
So they set off, Clare carrying the empty tray, rather to Molly's shame; but the child had enough work to drag herself along, and was afraid of offering to do anything more. The "side entrance" was a flight of steps leading up from a private flower-garden into a private matted hall, or ante-room, out of which many doors opened, and in which were deposited the light garden-tools and the bows and arrows of the young ladies of the house. Lady Cuxhaven must have seen their approach, for she met them in this hall as soon as they came in.
So they set off, Clare holding the empty tray, much to Molly's embarrassment; but the child had enough on her plate just trying to keep up and was afraid to offer to do anything else. The "side entrance" was a set of steps leading up from a private flower garden into a private matted hall, or ante-room, where many doors opened, and where the light garden tools and the bows and arrows of the young ladies of the house were stored. Lady Cuxhaven must have noticed them coming, as she met them in that hall as soon as they arrived.
"How is she now?" she asked; then glancing at the plates and glasses, she added, "Come, I think there can't be much amiss! You're a good old Clare, but you should have let one of the men fetch that tray in; life in such weather as this is trouble enough of itself."
"How is she doing now?" she asked; then, looking at the plates and glasses, she added, "Come on, I think everything must be fine! You're a good old Clare, but you should have let one of the guys bring that tray in; dealing with life in weather like this is challenging enough on its own."
Molly could not help wishing that her pretty companion would have told Lady Cuxhaven that she herself had helped to finish up the ample luncheon; but no such idea seemed to come into her mind. She only said,—"Poor dear! she is not quite the thing yet; has got a headache, she says. I am going to put her down on my bed, to see if she can get a little sleep."
Molly couldn't help wishing that her pretty friend would have mentioned to Lady Cuxhaven that she had helped finish the large lunch, but that thought didn't seem to cross her mind. She only said, "Poor thing! She's not feeling well yet; she says she has a headache. I'm going to lay her down on my bed to see if she can get some rest."
Molly saw Lady Cuxhaven say something in a half-laughing manner to "Clare," as she passed her; and the child could not keep from tormenting herself by fancying that the words spoken sounded wonderfully like "Over-eaten herself, I suspect." However, she felt too poorly to worry herself long; the little white bed in the cool and pretty room had too many attractions for her aching head. The muslin curtains flapped softly from time to time in the scented air that came through the open windows. Clare covered her up with a light shawl, and darkened the room. As she was going away Molly roused herself to say, "Please, ma'am, don't let them go away without me. Please ask somebody to waken me if I go to sleep. I am to go back with Miss Brownings."
Molly saw Lady Cuxhaven say something in a half-laughing way to "Clare" as she walked by, and the girl couldn’t help but torment herself by thinking that the words sounded a lot like "She’s overindulged, I think." However, she felt too unwell to worry about it for long; the little white bed in the cool, pretty room had too much appeal for her aching head. The muslin curtains gently fluttered from time to time in the fragrant air coming through the open windows. Clare covered her with a light shawl and dimmed the room. As she was leaving, Molly stirred herself to say, "Please, ma'am, don’t let them leave without me. Please ask someone to wake me if I fall asleep. I’m supposed to go back with Miss Brownings."
"Don't trouble yourself about it, dear; I'll take care," said Clare, turning round at the door, and kissing her hand to little anxious Molly. And then she went away, and thought no more about it. The carriages came round at half-past four, hurried a little by Lady Cumnor, who had suddenly become tired of the business of entertaining, and annoyed at the repetition of indiscriminating admiration.
"Don't worry about it, dear; I'll handle it," Clare said, turning at the door and blowing a kiss to the little worried Molly. Then she left and didn't think about it anymore. The carriages arrived at half-past four, a bit rushed by Lady Cumnor, who had suddenly grown tired of hosting and frustrated by the constant, mindless praise.
"Why not have both carriages out, mamma, and get rid of them all at once?" said Lady Cuxhaven. "This going by instalments is the most tiresome thing that could be imagined." So at last there had been a great hurry and an unmethodical way of packing off every one at once. Miss Browning had gone in the chariot (or "chawyot," as Lady Cumnor called it;—it rhymed to her daughter, Lady Hawyot—or Harriet, as the name was spelt in the Peerage), and Miss Phœbe had been speeded along with several other guests, away in a great roomy family conveyance, of the kind which we should now call an "omnibus." Each thought that Molly Gibson was with the other, and the truth was, that she lay fast asleep on Mrs. Kirkpatrick's bed—Mrs. Kirkpatrick née Clare.
"Why not take both carriages out, Mom, and just get rid of them all at once?" said Lady Cuxhaven. "This doing it in bits is the most annoying thing imaginable." So finally, there was a rush and a chaotic way of sending everyone off at once. Miss Browning had gone in the carriage (or "chawyot," as Lady Cumnor called it; it rhymed with her daughter, Lady Hawyot—or Harriet, as it was spelled in the Peerage), and Miss Phoebe had been whisked away with several other guests in a large family vehicle, the kind we would now call an "omnibus." Each thought that Molly Gibson was with the other, but the truth was, she was fast asleep on Mrs. Kirkpatrick's bed—Mrs. Kirkpatrick née Clare.
The housemaids came in to arrange the room. Their talking aroused Molly, who sat up on the bed, and tried to push back the hair from her hot forehead, and to remember where she was. She dropped down on her feet by the side of the bed, to the astonishment of the women, and said,—"Please, how soon are we going away?"
The housemaids came in to tidy up the room. Their chatter woke Molly, who sat up in bed, tried to brush the hair away from her sweaty forehead, and struggled to remember where she was. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, surprising the women, and asked, "Excuse me, when are we leaving?"
"Bless us and save us! who'd ha' thought of any one being in the bed? Are you one of the Hollingford ladies, my dear? They are all gone this hour or more!"
"Bless us and save us! Who would have thought anyone would be in the bed? Are you one of the Hollingford ladies, my dear? They've all been gone for over an hour!"
"Oh, dear, what shall I do? That lady they call Clare promised to waken me in time. Papa will so wonder where I am, and I don't know what Betty will say."
"Oh no, what am I going to do? That woman named Clare said she would wake me up on time. Dad is going to be so confused about where I am, and I have no idea what Betty will think."
The child began to cry, and the housemaids looked at each other in some dismay and much sympathy. Just then, they heard Mrs. Kirkpatrick's step along the passages, approaching. She was singing some little Italian air in a low musical voice, coming to her bedroom to dress for dinner. One housemaid said to the other, with a knowing look, "Best leave it to her;" and they passed on to their work in the other rooms.
The child started to cry, and the housemaids exchanged glances, feeling both worried and sympathetic. At that moment, they heard Mrs. Kirkpatrick's footsteps in the hallway, getting closer. She was singing a soft little Italian tune as she walked to her bedroom to get ready for dinner. One housemaid said to the other with a knowing smile, "Let's just let her handle it," and they went off to continue their tasks in the other rooms.
Mrs. Kirkpatrick opened the door, and stood aghast at the sight of Molly.
Mrs. Kirkpatrick opened the door and stood in shock at the sight of Molly.
"Why, I quite forgot you!" she said at length. "Nay, don't cry; you'll make yourself not fit to be seen. Of course I must take the consequences of your over-sleeping yourself, and if I can't manage to get you back to Hollingford to-night, you shall sleep with me, and we'll do our best to send you home to-morrow morning."
"Wow, I totally forgot about you!" she said after a moment. "Come on, don’t cry; you’ll end up looking a mess. I guess I have to deal with the consequences of your sleeping in, and if I can’t get you back to Hollingford tonight, you can sleep over with me, and we’ll do our best to get you home tomorrow morning."
"But papa!" sobbed out Molly. "He always wants me to make tea for him; and I have no night-things."
"But Dad!" Molly cried. "He always wants me to make tea for him, and I don’t have any nightclothes."
"Well, don't go and make a piece of work about what can't be helped now. I'll lend you night-things, and your papa must do without your making tea for him to-night. And another time don't over-sleep yourself in a strange house; you may not always find yourself among such hospitable people as they are here. Why now, if you don't cry and make a figure of yourself, I'll ask if you may come in to dessert with Master Smythe and the little ladies. You shall go into the nursery, and have some tea with them; and then you must come back here and brush your hair and make yourself tidy. I think it is a very fine thing for you to be stopping in such a grand house as this; many a little girl would like nothing better."
"Well, don’t dwell on what can’t be changed right now. I’ll lend you some pajamas, and your dad can manage without you making tea for him tonight. And next time, don’t oversleep in a new place; you might not always be with such friendly people as these. Now, if you can hold back the tears and not make a scene, I’ll see if you can join Master Smythe and the little ladies for dessert. You can go to the nursery and have some tea with them, and then you need to come back here, brush your hair, and get yourself looking presentable. I think it’s pretty amazing for you to be staying in such a fancy house as this; many little girls would love that."
During this speech she was arranging her toilette for dinner—taking off her black morning gown; putting on her dressing-gown; shaking her long soft auburn hair over her shoulders, and glancing about the room in search of various articles of her dress,—a running flow of easy talk came babbling out all the time.
During the speech, she was getting ready for dinner—taking off her black morning gown, putting on her dressing gown, shaking her long, soft auburn hair over her shoulders, and looking around the room for various pieces of her outfit—while a constant stream of effortless chatter flowed from her.
"I have a little girl of my own, dear! I don't know what she would not give to be staying here at Lord Cumnor's with me; but, instead of that, she has to spend her holidays at school; and yet you are looking as miserable as can be at the thought of stopping for just one night. I really have been as busy as can be with those tiresome—those good ladies, I mean, from Hollingford—and one can't think of everything at a time."
"I have a little girl of my own, dear! I don’t know what she wouldn’t give to be staying here at Lord Cumnor’s with me; but instead, she has to spend her holidays at school. And yet here you are, looking as miserable as can be at the thought of staying just one night. I’ve really been as busy as can be with those tiresome—those lovely ladies, I mean, from Hollingford—and it’s hard to think of everything at once."
Molly—only child as she was—had stopped her tears at the mention of that little girl of Mrs. Kirkpatrick's, and now she ventured to say,—
Molly—being an only child—had stopped crying at the mention of that little girl from Mrs. Kirkpatrick’s, and now she dared to say,—
"Are you married, ma'am; I thought she called you Clare?"
"Are you married, ma'am? I thought she called you Clare?"
In high good-humour Mrs. Kirkpatrick made reply:—"I don't look as if I was married, do I? Every one is surprised. And yet I have been a widow for seven months now: and not a grey hair on my head, though Lady Cuxhaven, who is younger than I, has ever so many."
In a cheerful mood, Mrs. Kirkpatrick replied, “I don't look like I’m married, do I? Everyone seems surprised. Yet, I’ve been a widow for seven months now, and I don’t have a single gray hair on my head, even though Lady Cuxhaven, who is younger than me, has plenty.”
"Why do they call you 'Clare?'" continued Molly, finding her so affable and communicative.
"Why do they call you 'Clare?'" Molly asked, enjoying how friendly and talkative she was.
"Because I lived with them when I was Miss Clare. It is a pretty name, isn't it? I married a Mr. Kirkpatrick; he was only a curate, poor fellow; but he was of a very good family, and if three of his relations had died without children I should have been a baronet's wife. But Providence did not see fit to permit it; and we must always resign ourselves to what is decreed. Two of his cousins married, and had large families; and poor dear Kirkpatrick died, leaving me a widow."
"Because I lived with them when I was Miss Clare. It’s a nice name, isn’t it? I married a Mr. Kirkpatrick; he was just a curate, poor guy; but he came from a really good family, and if three of his relatives had died without kids, I would have been a baronet's wife. But fate didn’t allow it; and we have to accept what’s meant to be. Two of his cousins got married and had big families; and my poor Kirkpatrick passed away, leaving me a widow."
"You have a little girl?" asked Molly.
"You have a daughter?" asked Molly.
"Yes: darling Cynthia! I wish you could see her; she is my only comfort now. If I have time I will show you her picture when we come up to bed; but I must go now. It does not do to keep Lady Cumnor waiting a moment, and she asked me to be down early, to help with some of the people in the house. Now I shall ring this bell, and when the housemaid comes, ask her to take you into the nursery, and to tell Lady Cuxhaven's nurse who you are. And then you'll have tea with the little ladies, and come in with them to dessert. There! I'm sorry you've over-slept yourself, and are left here; but give me a kiss, and don't cry—you really are rather a pretty child, though you've not got Cynthia's colouring! Oh, Nanny, would you be so very kind as to take this young lady—(what's your name, my dear? Gibson?),—Miss Gibson, to Mrs. Dyson, in the nursery, and ask her to allow her to drink tea with the young ladies there; and to send her in with them to dessert. I'll explain it all to my lady."
"Yes, darling Cynthia! I wish you could see her; she’s my only source of comfort now. If I have time, I’ll show you her picture when we head up to bed, but I have to go now. It wouldn’t be good to keep Lady Cumnor waiting even a second, and she asked me to come down early to help with some of the people in the house. Now I’ll ring this bell, and when the housemaid comes, I’ll ask her to take you to the nursery and tell Lady Cuxhaven's nurse who you are. Then you’ll have tea with the little girls and join them for dessert. There! I’m sorry you’ve overslept and are left here, but give me a kiss and don’t cry—you really are quite a pretty child, even if you don’t have Cynthia’s coloring! Oh, Nanny, could you please be so kind as to take this young lady—(what's your name, dear? Gibson?)—Miss Gibson, to Mrs. Dyson in the nursery and ask her if she can have tea with the young ladies there and go with them for dessert? I’ll explain everything to my lady."
Nanny's face brightened out of its gloom when she heard the name Gibson; and, having ascertained from Molly that she was "the doctor's" child, she showed more willingness to comply with Mrs. Kirkpatrick's request than was usual with her.
Nanny's face lit up when she heard the name Gibson; and after confirming with Molly that she was "the doctor's" kid, she was more eager to agree with Mrs. Kirkpatrick's request than she usually was.
Molly was an obliging girl, and fond of children; so, as long as she was in the nursery, she got on pretty well, being obedient to the wishes of the supreme power, and even very useful to Mrs. Dyson, by playing at tricks, and thus keeping a little one quiet while its brothers and sisters were being arrayed in gay attire,—lace and muslin, and velvet, and brilliant broad ribbons.
Molly was a helpful girl who loved children, so as long as she was in the nursery, she got along pretty well. She listened to the authority figure and was even very helpful to Mrs. Dyson by playing games to keep the little one entertained while its siblings were being dressed in bright outfits—lace, muslin, velvet, and vibrant wide ribbons.
"Now, miss," said Mrs. Dyson, when her own especial charge were all ready, "what can I do for you? You have not got another frock here, have you?" No, indeed, she had not; nor if she had had one, could it have been of a smarter nature than her present thick white dimity. So she could only wash her face and hands, and submit to the nurse's brushing and perfuming her hair. She thought she would rather have stayed in the park all night long, and slept under the beautiful quiet cedar, than have to undergo the unknown ordeal of "going down to dessert," which was evidently regarded both by children and nurses as the event of the day. At length there was a summons from a footman, and Mrs. Dyson, in a rustling silk gown, marshalled her convoy, and set sail for the dining-room door.
"Now, dear," said Mrs. Dyson, once her special charge was all set, "what can I do for you? You don't have another dress here, do you?" No, she definitely didn’t; and even if she did, it wouldn't have been any fancier than her current thick white dimity. So, she could only wash her face and hands and let the nurse brush and perfume her hair. She thought she would rather have stayed in the park all night, sleeping under the beautiful, peaceful cedar, than face the unknown challenge of "going down to dessert," which was clearly seen by both the kids and nurses as the highlight of the day. Finally, a footman called, and Mrs. Dyson, in a rustling silk gown, gathered her group and headed for the dining room door.
There was a large party of gentlemen and ladies sitting round the decked table, in the brilliantly lighted room. Each dainty little child ran up to its mother, or aunt, or particular friend; but Molly had no one to go to.
There was a big group of men and women sitting around the beautifully set table in the brightly lit room. Each cute little kid ran up to their mom, aunt, or special friend; but Molly had no one to go to.
"Who is that tall girl in the thick white frock? Not one of the children of the house, I think?"
"Who is that tall girl in the big white dress? I don't think she's one of the kids in the house?"
The lady addressed put up her glass, gazed at Molly, and dropped it in an instant. "A French girl, I should imagine. I know Lady Cuxhaven was inquiring for one to bring up with her little girls, that they might get a good accent early. Poor little woman, she looks wild and strange!" And the speaker, who sate next to Lord Cumnor, made a little sign to Molly to come to her; Molly crept up to her as to the first shelter; but when the lady began talking to her in French, she blushed violently, and said in a very low voice,—
The lady addressed lifted her glass, looked at Molly, and dropped it immediately. "I bet she's a French girl. I know Lady Cuxhaven was asking for one to raise her little girls, so they could pick up a good accent early. Poor woman, she looks all frazzled and odd!" The speaker, who was sitting next to Lord Cumnor, made a small gesture for Molly to come over; Molly approached her like she was seeking shelter. But when the lady started speaking to her in French, she blushed fiercely and said in a very soft voice,—
"I don't understand French. I'm only Molly Gibson, ma'am."
"I don’t understand French. I'm just Molly Gibson, ma'am."
"Molly Gibson!" said the lady, out loud; as if that was not much of an explanation.
"Molly Gibson!" the lady said loudly, as if that explained everything.
Lord Cumnor caught the words and the tone.
Lord Cumnor heard the words and the tone.
"Oh, ho!" said he. "Are you the little girl who has been sleeping in my bed?"
"Oh, hey!" he said. "Are you the little girl who's been sleeping in my bed?"
He imitated the deep voice of the fabulous bear, who asks this question of the little child in the story; but Molly had never read the "Three Bears," and fancied that his anger was real; she trembled a little, and drew nearer to the kind lady who had beckoned her as to a refuge. Lord Cumnor was very fond of getting hold of what he fancied was a joke, and working his idea threadbare; so all the time the ladies were in the room he kept on his running fire at Molly, alluding to the Sleeping Beauty, the Seven Sleepers, and any other famous sleeper that came into his head. He had no idea of the misery his jokes were to the sensitive girl, who already thought herself a miserable sinner, for having slept on, when she ought to have been awake. If Molly had been in the habit of putting two and two together, she might have found an excuse for herself, by remembering that Mrs. Kirkpatrick had promised faithfully to awaken her in time; but all the girl thought of was, how little they wanted her in this grand house; how she must seem like a careless intruder who had no business there. Once or twice she wondered where her father was, and whether he was missing her; but the thought of the familiar happiness of home brought such a choking in her throat, that she felt she must not give way to it, for fear of bursting out crying; and she had instinct enough to feel that, as she was left at the Towers, the less trouble she gave, the more she kept herself out of observation, the better.
He copied the deep voice of the amazing bear who asks this question of the little child in the story; but Molly had never read the "Three Bears," and thought his anger was real; she shook a bit and moved closer to the kind lady who had signaled her as a safe place. Lord Cumnor loved to latch onto what he thought was a joke and wear it out; so while the ladies were in the room, he kept making comments about Molly, referencing the Sleeping Beauty, the Seven Sleepers, and any other famous sleeper that popped into his mind. He had no clue how much his jokes affected the sensitive girl, who already felt like a miserable sinner for having slept when she should have been awake. If Molly had been used to connecting the dots, she might have found an excuse for herself by remembering that Mrs. Kirkpatrick had promised to wake her up on time; but all the girl thought about was how little they wanted her in this grand house; how she must seem like a careless intruder with no right to be there. A couple of times, she wondered where her father was and if he missed her; but the thought of the comforting happiness of home made her throat tighten, and she felt she had to suppress it, for fear of bursting into tears; and she instinctively understood that since she was left at the Towers, the less trouble she caused and the more she kept out of sight, the better.
She followed the ladies out of the dining-room, almost hoping that no one would see her. But that was impossible, and she immediately became the subject of conversation between the awful Lady Cumnor and her kind neighbour at dinner.
She followed the women out of the dining room, almost wishing that no one would see her. But that was impossible, and she quickly became the topic of conversation between the dreadful Lady Cumnor and her nice neighbor at dinner.
"Do you know, I thought this young lady was French when I first saw her? she has got the black hair and eyelashes, and grey eyes, and colourless complexion which one meets with in some parts of France, and I know Lady Cuxhaven was trying to find a well-educated girl who would be a pleasant companion to her children."
"Do you know, I thought this young lady was French when I first saw her? She has black hair and eyelashes, gray eyes, and a pale complexion that you find in some parts of France, and I know Lady Cuxhaven was looking for a well-educated girl who would be a nice companion for her children."
"No!" said Lady Cumnor, looking very stern, as Molly thought. "She is the daughter of our medical man at Hollingford; she came with the school visitors this morning, and she was overcome by the heat and fell asleep in Clare's room, and somehow managed to over-sleep herself, and did not waken up till all the carriages were gone. We will send her home to-morrow morning, but for to-night she must stay here, and Clare is kind enough to say she may sleep with her."
"No!" said Lady Cumnor, looking very serious, as Molly thought. "She is the daughter of our doctor in Hollingford; she came with the school visitors this morning, and she got so hot that she fell asleep in Clare's room, and somehow ended up sleeping in too long, not waking up until all the carriages had left. We'll send her home tomorrow morning, but for tonight she has to stay here, and Clare is nice enough to say she can sleep with her."
There was an implied blame running through this speech, that Molly felt like needle-points all over her. Lady Cuxhaven came up at this moment. Her tone was as deep, her manner of speaking as abrupt and authoritative, as her mother's, but Molly felt the kinder nature underneath.
There was an unspoken blame running through this speech, pricking at Molly like needle points. Lady Cuxhaven approached at that moment. Her tone was as deep, and her way of speaking as blunt and commanding, as her mother's, but Molly sensed the kinder nature beneath it.
"How are you now, my dear? You look better than you did under the cedar-tree. So you're to stop here to-night? Clare, don't you think we could find some of those books of engravings that would interest Miss Gibson."
"How are you now, my dear? You look better than you did under the cedar tree. So you’re staying here tonight? Clare, don’t you think we could find some of those engraving books that would interest Miss Gibson?"
Mrs. Kirkpatrick came gliding up to the place where Molly stood; and began petting her with pretty words and actions, while Lady Cuxhaven turned over heavy volumes in search of one that might interest the girl.
Mrs. Kirkpatrick gracefully approached the spot where Molly was standing and started showering her with sweet words and gestures, while Lady Cuxhaven flipped through thick books looking for one that might capture the girl's interest.
"Poor darling! I saw you come into the dining-room, looking so shy; and I wanted you to come near me, but I could not make a sign to you, because Lord Cuxhaven was speaking to me at the time, telling me about his travels. Ah, here is a nice book—Lodge's Portraits; now I'll sit by you and tell you who they all are, and all about them. Don't trouble yourself any more, dear Lady Cuxhaven; I'll take charge of her; pray leave her to me!"
"Poor thing! I saw you walk into the dining room, looking so shy; I wanted you to come closer, but I couldn’t signal to you because Lord Cuxhaven was talking to me at the time, sharing stories about his travels. Ah, here’s a great book—Lodge's Portraits; now I’ll sit next to you and tell you who they all are and everything about them. Don’t worry anymore, dear Lady Cuxhaven; I’ll take care of her; please leave her to me!"
Molly grew hotter and hotter as these last words met her ear. If they would only leave her alone, and not labour at being kind to her; would "not trouble themselves" about her! These words of Mrs. Kirkpatrick's seemed to quench the gratitude she was feeling to Lady Cuxhaven for looking for something to amuse her. But, of course, it was a trouble, and she ought never to have been there.
Molly felt herself getting angrier with every word she heard. If only they would just leave her alone and stop trying to be nice to her; if they would just "not worry about her!" Mrs. Kirkpatrick's words seemed to extinguish the gratitude she had towards Lady Cuxhaven for trying to entertain her. But, of course, it was a bother, and she shouldn't have been there at all.
By-and-by, Mrs. Kirkpatrick was called away to accompany Lady Agnes' song; and then Molly really had a few minutes' enjoyment. She could look round the room, unobserved, and, sure, never was any place out of a king's house so grand and magnificent. Large mirrors, velvet curtains, pictures in their gilded frames, a multitude of dazzling lights decorated the vast saloon, and the floor was studded with groups of ladies and gentlemen, all dressed in gorgeous attire. Suddenly Molly bethought her of the children whom she had accompanied into the dining-room, and to whose ranks she had appeared to belong,—where were they? Gone to bed an hour before, at some quiet signal from their mother. Molly wondered if she might go, too—if she could ever find her way back to the haven of Mrs. Kirkpatrick's bedroom. But she was at some distance from the door; a long way from Mrs. Kirkpatrick, to whom she felt herself to belong more than to any one else. Far, too, from Lady Cuxhaven, and the terrible Lady Cumnor, and her jocose and good-natured lord. So Molly sate on, turning over pictures which she did not see; her heart growing heavier and heavier in the desolation of all this grandeur. Presently a footman entered the room, and after a moment's looking about him, he went up to Mrs. Kirkpatrick, where she sate at the piano, the centre of the musical portion of the company, ready to accompany any singer, and smiling pleasantly as she willingly acceded to all requests. She came now towards Molly, in her corner, and said to her,—
Soon after, Mrs. Kirkpatrick was called away to accompany Lady Agnes' song, and that gave Molly a moment of real enjoyment. She could look around the room without being noticed, and honestly, no place outside a royal palace had ever looked so grand and impressive. There were large mirrors, velvet curtains, paintings in ornate frames, and a multitude of sparkling lights decorating the spacious salon, where groups of ladies and gentlemen dressed in stunning outfits filled the floor. Suddenly, Molly remembered the children she had brought into the dining room, with whom she had seemed to fit in—where had they gone? They must have gone to bed an hour ago at some subtle signal from their mother. Molly wondered if she could maybe go, too—if she could find her way back to the comfort of Mrs. Kirkpatrick's bedroom. But she was quite far from the door; a long distance from Mrs. Kirkpatrick, to whom she felt she belonged more than anyone else. She was also far from Lady Cuxhaven and the frightening Lady Cumnor, along with her joking and friendly lord. So, Molly sat there, flipping through pictures she didn’t really see, her heart growing heavier in the midst of all this splendor. After a while, a footman entered the room, and after scanning the area for a moment, he approached Mrs. Kirkpatrick, who sat at the piano, the focus of the musical crowd, ready to accompany any singer and smiling kindly as she happily agreed to every request. She now came over to Molly in her corner and said to her,—
"Do you know, darling, your papa has come for you, and brought your pony for you to ride home; so I shall lose my little bedfellow, for I suppose you must go?"
"Do you know, darling, your dad is here for you and he brought your pony to ride home; so I guess I’ll lose my little bed buddy, since you have to go?"
Go! was there a question of it in Molly's mind, as she stood up quivering, sparkling, almost crying out loud. She was brought to her senses, though, by Mrs. Kirkpatrick's next words.
Go! Was there any doubt in Molly's mind as she stood up, trembling, glowing, almost about to burst into tears. However, Mrs. Kirkpatrick's next words brought her back to reality.
"You must go and wish Lady Cumnor good-night, you know, my dear, and thank her ladyship for her kindness to you. She is there, near that statue, talking to Mr. Courtenay."
"You should go and say good night to Lady Cumnor, you know, my dear, and thank her for being so kind to you. She's over there by that statue, talking to Mr. Courtenay."
Yes! she was there—forty feet away—a hundred miles away! All that blank space had to be crossed; and then a speech to be made!
Yes! She was there—forty feet away—a hundred miles away! All that empty space had to be crossed; and then a speech to be given!
"Must I go?" asked Molly, in the most pitiful and pleading voice possible.
"Do I have to go?" asked Molly, in the most desperate and pleading voice she could muster.
"Yes; make haste about it; there is nothing so formidable in it, is there?" replied Mrs. Kirkpatrick, in a sharper voice than before, aware that they were wanting her at the piano, and anxious to get the business in hand done as soon as possible.
"Yes, hurry up; it’s not that serious, is it?" replied Mrs. Kirkpatrick, in a sharper tone than before, knowing they were wanting her at the piano and eager to get the task done as quickly as possible.
Molly stood still for a minute, then, looking up, she said, softly,—
Molly paused for a moment, then looked up and said, softly, —
"Would you mind coming with me, please?"
"Could you come with me, please?"
"No! not I!" said Mrs. Kirkpatrick, seeing that her compliance was likely to be the most speedy way of getting through the affair; so she took Molly's hand, and, on the way, in passing the group at the piano, she said, smiling, in her pretty genteel manner,—
"No! Not me!" said Mrs. Kirkpatrick, realizing that going along with it was probably the quickest way to handle the situation. So she took Molly's hand, and as they walked by the group at the piano, she smiled and said in her charming, refined way,
"Our little friend here is shy and modest, and wants me to accompany her to Lady Cumnor to wish good-night; her father has come for her, and she is going away."
"Our little friend here is shy and reserved and wants me to go with her to Lady Cumnor to say good-night; her father has come to pick her up, and she is leaving."
Molly did not know how it was afterwards, but she pulled her hand out of Mrs. Kirkpatrick's on hearing these words, and going a step or two in advance came up to Lady Cumnor, grand in purple velvet, and dropping a curtsey, almost after the fashion of the school-children, she said,—
Molly didn't know what happened next, but she pulled her hand out of Mrs. Kirkpatrick's and took a step or two forward to reach Lady Cumnor, who was dressed elegantly in purple velvet. With a slight curtsy, almost like the school kids do, she said,—
"My lady, papa is come, and I am going away; and, my lady, I wish you good-night, and thank you for your kindness. Your ladyship's kindness, I mean," she said, correcting herself as she remembered Miss Browning's particular instructions as to the etiquette to be observed to earls and countesses, and their honourable progeny, as they were given that morning on the road to the Towers.
"My lady, Dad has arrived, and I’m leaving; and, my lady, I wish you good night and thank you for your kindness. I mean your ladyship's kindness," she said, correcting herself as she remembered Miss Browning's specific instructions about the etiquette to follow with earls and countesses, and their esteemed offspring, as they were given that morning on the way to the Towers.
She got out of the saloon somehow; she believed afterwards, on thinking about it, that she had never bidden good-by to Lady Cuxhaven, or Mrs. Kirkpatrick, or "all the rest of them," as she irreverently styled them in her thoughts.
She managed to leave the bar somehow; later, when she reflected on it, she thought she had never said goodbye to Lady Cuxhaven, or Mrs. Kirkpatrick, or "all the rest of them," as she irreverently referred to them in her mind.
Mr. Gibson was in the housekeeper's room, when Molly ran in, rather to the stately Mrs. Brown's discomfiture. She threw her arms round her father's neck. "Oh, papa, papa, papa! I am so glad you have come;" and then she burst out crying, stroking his face almost hysterically as if to make sure he was there.
Mr. Gibson was in the housekeeper's room when Molly ran in, much to the dismay of the dignified Mrs. Brown. She threw her arms around her father's neck. "Oh, Dad, Dad, Dad! I'm so glad you’re here," and then she started crying, nearly frantically stroking his face to make sure he was really there.
"Why, what a noodle you are, Molly! Did you think I was going to give up my little girl to live at the Towers all the rest of her life? You make as much work about my coming for you, as if you thought I had. Make haste, now, and get on your bonnet. Mrs. Brown, may I ask you for a shawl, or a plaid, or a wrap of some kind to pin about her for a petticoat?"
"Why, what a silly person you are, Molly! Did you really think I was going to let my little girl live at the Towers for the rest of her life? You act like it’s such a hassle for me to come get you, as if I actually would. Hurry up now and put on your hat. Mrs. Brown, could I trouble you for a shawl, or a blanket, or any wrap to pin around her like a petticoat?"
He did not mention that he had come home from a long round not half an hour before, a round from which he had returned dinnerless and hungry; but, on finding that Molly had not come back from the Towers, he had ridden his tired horse round by Miss Brownings', and found them in self-reproachful, helpless dismay. He would not wait to listen to their tearful apologies; he galloped home, had a fresh horse and Molly's pony saddled, and though Betty called after him with a riding-skirt for the child, when he was not ten yards from his own stable-door, he refused to turn back for it, but went off, as Dick the stableman said, "muttering to himself awful."
He didn’t mention that he had come home from a long ride less than half an hour earlier, a ride that left him hungry and without dinner. When he realized Molly hadn’t returned from the Towers, he took his tired horse around to Miss Brownings' and found them in a state of regretful, helpless dismay. He didn't want to hear their tearful apologies; he galloped home, got a fresh horse and saddled Molly’s pony. Even when Betty called after him with a riding skirt for the child, just ten yards from his stable door, he refused to go back for it and rode off, as Dick the stableman said, “muttering to himself in a terrible way.”
Mrs. Brown had her bottle of wine out, and her plate of cake, before Molly came back from her long expedition to Mrs. Kirkpatrick's room, "pretty nigh on to a quarter of a mile off," as the housekeeper informed the impatient father, as he waited for his child to come down arrayed in her morning's finery with the gloss of newness worn off. Mr. Gibson was a favourite in all the Towers' household, as family doctors generally are; bringing hopes of relief at times of anxiety and distress; and Mrs. Brown, who was subject to gout, especially delighted in petting him whenever he would allow her. She even went out into the stable-yard to pin Molly up in the shawl, as she sate upon the rough-coated pony, and hazarded the somewhat safe conjecture,—
Mrs. Brown had her bottle of wine and her plate of cake ready before Molly returned from her long trip to Mrs. Kirkpatrick's room, "almost a quarter of a mile away," the housekeeper told the impatient father as he waited for his daughter to come down dressed in her morning outfit, no longer looking brand new. Mr. Gibson was a favorite in the Towers' household, like most family doctors; he brought hopes of relief during times of anxiety and distress. Mrs. Brown, who had gout, especially enjoyed fussing over him whenever she could. She even went out to the stable yard to wrap Molly in the shawl while she was sitting on the rough-coated pony and made a somewhat safe guess—
"I daresay she'll be happier at home, Mr. Gibson," as they rode away.
"I think she'll be happier at home, Mr. Gibson," as they rode away.
Once out into the park Molly struck her pony, and urged him on as hard as he would go. Mr. Gibson called out at last:
Once out in the park, Molly kicked her pony and pushed him to go as fast as he could. Mr. Gibson finally shouted:
"Molly! we're coming to the rabbit-holes; it's not safe to go at such a pace. Stop." And as she drew rein he rode up alongside of her.
"Molly! We're approaching the rabbit holes; it's not safe to go this fast. Stop." And as she slowed down, he rode up beside her.
"We're getting into the shadow of the trees, and it's not safe riding fast here."
"We're entering the shade of the trees, and it's not safe to ride fast here."
"Oh! papa, I never was so glad in all my life. I felt like a lighted candle when they're putting the extinguisher on it."
"Oh! Dad, I’ve never been so happy in my entire life. I felt like a lit candle when someone’s about to blow it out."
"Did you? How d'ye know what the candle feels?"
"Did you? How do you know what the candle feels like?"
"Oh, I don't know, but I did." And again, after a pause she said,—"Oh, I am so glad to be here! It is so pleasant riding here in the open, free, fresh air, crushing out such a good smell from the dewy grass. Papa! are you there? I can't see you."
"Oh, I don’t know, but I did." Then, after a moment, she said, "Oh, I’m so glad to be here! It feels so nice riding in the open, free, fresh air, inhaling the wonderful scent of the dewy grass. Dad! Are you there? I can’t see you."
He rode close up alongside of her: he was not sure but what she might be afraid of riding in the dark shadows, so he laid his hand upon hers.
He rode right next to her: he wasn't sure if she might be scared of riding in the dark shadows, so he placed his hand on hers.
"Oh! I am so glad to feel you," squeezing his hand hard. "Papa, I should like to get a chain like Ponto's, just as long as your longest round, and then I could fasten us two to each end of it, and when I wanted you I could pull, and if you didn't want to come, you could pull back again; but I should know you knew I wanted you, and we could never lose each other."
"Oh! I'm so happy to feel you," she squeezed his hand tightly. "Dad, I’d love to get a chain like Ponto's, just as long as your longest one, and then I could attach us both to each end. When I wanted you, I could just pull, and if you didn't want to come, you could pull back; but I would know you understood I wanted you, and we could never lose each other."
"I'm rather lost in that plan of yours; the details, as you state them, are a little puzzling; but if I make them out rightly, I am to go about the country, like the donkeys on the common, with a clog fastened to my hind leg."
"I'm pretty confused by your plan; the details, as you explain them, are a bit puzzling. But if I understand correctly, I'm supposed to wander around the country, like the donkeys on the common, with a weight tied to my back leg."
"I don't mind your calling me a clog, if only we were fastened together."
"I don't care if you call me a clog, as long as we're connected."
"But I do mind you calling me a donkey," he replied.
"But I don't like it when you call me a donkey," he said.
"I never did. At least I didn't mean to. But it is such a comfort to know that I may be as rude as I like."
"I never did. At least I didn't mean to. But it's such a relief to know that I can be as rude as I want."
"Is that what you've learnt from the grand company you've been keeping to-day? I expected to find you so polite and ceremonious, that I read a few chapters of Sir Charles Grandison, in order to bring myself up to concert pitch."
"Is that what you've learned from the impressive company you've been keeping today? I expected you to be so polite and formal that I read a few chapters of Sir Charles Grandison to prepare myself."
"Oh, I do hope I shall never be a lord or a lady."
"Oh, I really hope I’ll never be a lord or a lady."
"Well, to comfort you, I'll tell you this: I'm sure you'll never be a lord; and I think the chances are a thousand to one against your ever being the other, in the sense in which you mean."
"Well, to make you feel better, I’ll tell you this: I’m sure you’ll never become a lord; and I think the odds are a thousand to one that you’ll ever be the other, in the way you mean."
"I should lose myself every time I had to fetch my bonnet, or else get tired of long passages and great staircases long before I could go out walking."
"I would lose myself every time I had to grab my hat, or I’d get tired of long hallways and big staircases long before I could go out for a walk."
"But you'd have your lady's-maid, you know."
"But you'd have your lady's maid, you know."
"Do you know, papa, I think lady's-maids are worse than ladies. I should not mind being a housekeeper so much."
"Do you know, Dad, I think maids are worse than the ladies they serve. I wouldn't mind being a housekeeper as much."
"No! the jam-cupboards and dessert would lie very conveniently to one's hand," replied her father, meditatively. "But Mrs. Brown tells me that the thought of the dinners often keeps her from sleeping; there's that anxiety to be taken into consideration. Still, in every condition of life, there are heavy cares and responsibilities."
"No! The jam cabinets and dessert would be really easy to reach," her father replied, thinking it over. "But Mrs. Brown says that worrying about the dinners often keeps her awake at night; that stress can't be ignored. Still, no matter what situation you're in, there are always heavy worries and responsibilities."
"Well! I suppose so," said Molly, gravely. "I know Betty says I wear her life out with the green stains I get in my frocks from sitting in the cherry-tree."
"Well! I guess so," said Molly seriously. "I know Betty says I wear her out with the green stains I get on my dresses from sitting in the cherry tree."
"And Miss Browning said she had fretted herself into a headache with thinking how they had left you behind. I'm afraid you'll be as bad as a bill of fare to them to-night. How did it all happen, goosey?"
"And Miss Browning said she had worried herself into a headache thinking about how they left you behind. I'm afraid you're going to be just as much trouble to them tonight. How did it all happen, silly?"
"Oh, I went by myself to see the gardens; they are so beautiful! and I lost myself, and sat down to rest under a great tree; and Lady Cuxhaven and that Mrs. Kirkpatrick came; and Mrs. Kirkpatrick brought me some lunch, and then put me to sleep on her bed,—and I thought she would waken me in time, and she didn't; and so they'd all gone away; and when they planned for me to stop till to-morrow, I didn't like saying how very, very much I wanted to go home,—but I kept thinking how you would wonder where I was."
"Oh, I went on my own to see the gardens; they are so beautiful! I lost track of time and sat down to rest under a big tree. Then Lady Cuxhaven and Mrs. Kirkpatrick showed up, and Mrs. Kirkpatrick brought me some lunch and even let me nap on her bed. I thought she would wake me up in time, but she didn’t. By the time I woke up, they had all left, and when they suggested that I stay until tomorrow, I didn’t want to say how much I really wanted to go home—but I kept thinking about how you would be wondering where I was."
"Then it was rather a dismal day of pleasure, goosey, eh?"
"Then it was quite a gloomy day of enjoyment, silly, right?"
"Not in the morning. I shall never forget the morning in that garden. But I was never so unhappy in all my life, as I have been all this long afternoon."
"Not in the morning. I'll never forget that morning in the garden. But I've never been as unhappy in my life as I have been all this long afternoon."
Mr. Gibson thought it his duty to ride round by the Towers, and pay a visit of apology and thanks to the family, before they left for London. He found them all on the wing, and no one was sufficiently at liberty to listen to his grateful civilities but Mrs. Kirkpatrick, who, although she was to accompany Lady Cuxhaven, and pay a visit to her former pupil, made leisure enough to receive Mr. Gibson, on behalf of the family; and assured him of her faithful remembrance of his great professional attention to her in former days in the most winning manner.
Mr. Gibson felt it was his responsibility to swing by the Towers to apologize and thank the family before they headed to London. When he arrived, everyone was busy, and the only one who had time to hear his appreciative words was Mrs. Kirkpatrick. Although she was about to join Lady Cuxhaven and visit her former student, she made enough time to welcome Mr. Gibson on behalf of the family and assured him she fondly remembered how much he had helped her in her past professional endeavors.
CHAPTER III.
MOLLY GIBSON'S CHILDHOOD.
Sixteen years before this time, all Hollingford had been disturbed to its foundations by the intelligence that Mr. Hall, the skilful doctor, who had attended them all their days, was going to take a partner. It was no use reasoning to them on the subject; so Mr. Browning the vicar, Mr. Sheepshanks (Lord Cumnor's agent), and Mr. Hall himself, the masculine reasoners of the little society, left off the attempt, feeling that the Che sarà sarà would prove more silencing to the murmurs than many arguments. Mr. Hall had told his faithful patients that, even with the strongest spectacles, his sight was not to be depended upon; and they might have found out for themselves that his hearing was very defective, although, on this point, he obstinately adhered to his own opinion, and was frequently heard to regret the carelessness of people's communication nowadays, "like writing on blotting-paper, all the words running into each other," he would say. And more than once Mr. Hall had had attacks of a suspicious nature,—"rheumatism" he used to call them, but he prescribed for himself as if they had been gout—which had prevented his immediate attention to imperative summonses. But, blind and deaf, and rheumatic as he might be, he was still Mr. Hall the doctor who could heal all their ailments—unless they died meanwhile—and he had no right to speak of growing old, and taking a partner.
Sixteen years prior, the entire town of Hollingford was shaken to its core by the news that Mr. Hall, the skilled doctor who had cared for them throughout their lives, was planning to take on a partner. It was pointless to try and reason with them about it; so Mr. Browning the vicar, Mr. Sheepshanks (Lord Cumnor's agent), and Mr. Hall himself, the logical voices of the community, stopped trying, believing that the phrase Che sarà sarà would quiet the murmurs better than any argument. Mr. Hall had informed his loyal patients that, even with the strongest glasses, his eyesight couldn’t be counted on; and they might have noticed for themselves that his hearing was quite poor, although he stubbornly insisted otherwise. He often complained about how careless people were when communicating nowadays, saying, “It’s like writing on blotting paper, with all the words running together.” Moreover, Mr. Hall had experienced some questionable health issues—what he referred to as “rheumatism”—but he treated them as though they were gout, which sometimes delayed his immediate response to urgent calls. Yet, even if he was blind, deaf, and plagued by aches, he remained Mr. Hall the doctor who could treat all their ills—unless they passed away first—and he had no business talking about getting older and taking on a partner.
He went very steadily to work all the same; advertising in medical journals, reading testimonials, sifting character and qualifications; and just when the elderly maiden ladies of Hollingford thought that they had convinced their contemporary that he was as young as ever, he startled them by bringing his new partner, Mr. Gibson, to call upon them, and began "slyly," as these ladies said, to introduce him into practice. And "who was this Mr. Gibson?" they asked, and echo might answer the question, if she liked, for no one else did. No one ever in all his life knew anything more of his antecedents than the Hollingford people might have found out the first day they saw him: that he was tall, grave, rather handsome than otherwise; thin enough to be called "a very genteel figure," in those days, before muscular Christianity had come into vogue; speaking with a slight Scotch accent; and, as one good lady observed, "so very trite in his conversation," by which she meant sarcastic. As to his birth, parentage, and education,—the favourite conjecture of Hollingford society was, that he was the illegitimate son of a Scotch duke, by a Frenchwoman; and the grounds for this conjecture were these:—He spoke with a Scotch accent; therefore, he must be Scotch. He had a very genteel appearance, an elegant figure, and was apt—so his ill-wishers said—to give himself airs; therefore, his father must have been some person of quality; and, that granted, nothing was easier than to run this supposition up all the notes of the scale of the peerage,—baronet, baron, viscount, earl, marquis, duke. Higher they dared not go, though one old lady, acquainted with English history, hazarded the remark, that "she believed that one or two of the Stuarts—hem—had not always been,—ahem—quite correct in their—conduct; and she fancied such—ahem—things ran in families." But, in popular opinion, Mr. Gibson's father always remained a duke; nothing more.
He went right on with his work, advertising in medical journals, reading testimonials, and checking people's backgrounds and qualifications. Just when the older single ladies of Hollingford thought they had convinced everyone that he was as youthful as ever, he surprised them by bringing his new partner, Mr. Gibson, to visit. He started to "slyly," as the ladies put it, introduce him into the practice. "Who is this Mr. Gibson?" they asked, and the echo might have answered if it wanted to, because no one else did. No one ever really knew anything about his background beyond what the Hollingford people could have figured out the first day they met him: he was tall, serious, and rather handsome; thin enough to be called "a very genteel figure" in those days, before the trend of muscular Christianity caught on; spoke with a slight Scottish accent; and, as one kind lady remarked, "so very trite in his conversation," meaning she found him sarcastic. As for his birth, parentage, and education, the favorite theory in Hollingford society was that he was the illegitimate son of a Scottish duke and a French woman. The reasoning behind this theory was that he spoke with a Scottish accent, so he must be Scottish. He had a very genteel appearance and an elegant figure, and according to his critics, he tended to act superior, so his father must have been someone of importance. Once that was accepted, it was easy to speculate about him being connected to the peerage—baronet, baron, viscount, earl, marquis, duke. They didn't dare go higher, although one elderly lady, who knew a bit of English history, suggested that "she believed one or two of the Stuarts—hem—had not always been—um—quite correct in their—behavior; and she suspected such—um—traits ran in families." But in popular belief, Mr. Gibson’s father was always just a duke; nothing more.
Then his mother must have been a Frenchwoman, because his hair was so black; and he was so sallow; and because he had been in Paris. All this might be true, or might not; nobody ever knew, or found out anything more about him than what Mr. Hall told them, namely, that his professional qualifications were as high as his moral character, and that both were far above the average, as Mr. Hall had taken pains to ascertain before introducing him to his patients. The popularity of this world is as transient as its glory, as Mr. Hall found out before the first year of his partnership was over. He had plenty of leisure left to him now to nurse his gout and cherish his eyesight. The younger doctor had carried the day; nearly every one sent for Mr. Gibson. Even at the great houses—even at the Towers, that greatest of all, where Mr. Hall had introduced his new partner with fear and trembling, with untold anxiety as to his behaviour, and the impression he might make on my lord the Earl, and my lady the Countess, Mr. Gibson was received at the end of a twelvemonth with as much welcome respect for his professional skill as Mr. Hall himself had ever been. Nay—and this was a little too much for even the kind old doctor's good temper—Mr. Gibson had even been invited once to dinner at the Towers, to dine with the great Sir Astley, the head of the profession! To be sure, Mr. Hall had been asked as well; but he was laid up just then with his gout (since he had had a partner the rheumatism had been allowed to develope itself), and he had not been able to go. Poor Mr. Hall never quite got over this mortification; after it he allowed himself to become dim of sight and hard of hearing, and kept pretty closely to the house during the two winters that remained of his life. He sent for an orphan grand-niece to keep him company in his old age; he, the woman-contemning old bachelor, became thankful for the cheerful presence of the pretty, bonny Mary Pearson, who was good and sensible, and nothing more. She formed a close friendship with the daughters of the vicar, Mr. Browning, and Mr. Gibson found time to become very intimate with all three. Hollingford speculated much on which young lady would become Mrs. Gibson, and was rather sorry when the talk about possibilities, and the gossip about probabilities, with regard to the handsome young surgeon's marriage, ended in the most natural manner in the world, by his marrying his predecessor's niece. The two Miss Brownings showed no signs of going into a consumption on the occasion, although their looks and manners were carefully watched. On the contrary, they were rather boisterously merry at the wedding, and poor Mrs. Gibson it was that died of consumption, four or five years after her marriage—three years after the death of her great-uncle, and when her only child, Molly, was just three years old.
Then his mother must have been French, because his hair was so black; he looked so sickly; and he had been to Paris. This could be true or not; no one really knew anything more about him than what Mr. Hall shared, which was that his professional skills matched his high moral character, and both were well above average, as Mr. Hall had made sure to find out before introducing him to his patients. The popularity of this world is as fleeting as its glory, which Mr. Hall discovered before his first year of partnership was over. He now had plenty of time to deal with his gout and take care of his eyesight. The younger doctor had won the day; almost everyone called for Mr. Gibson. Even at the grand houses—even at the Towers, the biggest of them all, where Mr. Hall had introduced his new partner with great anxiety about how he would behave and what impression he might make on my lord the Earl and my lady the Countess, Mr. Gibson was welcomed a year later with as much respect for his professional skills as Mr. Hall had ever received. In fact, this was a bit too much for even the kind old doctor’s patience—Mr. Gibson was even invited to dinner at the Towers to dine with the esteemed Sir Astley, the leader in the profession! Of course, Mr. Hall was invited too; but he was suffering from gout at the time (since getting a partner, his rheumatism had worsened), and he couldn’t attend. Poor Mr. Hall never quite recovered from this embarrassment; after that, he allowed himself to grow dim of sight and hard of hearing, and stayed mostly at home during the last two winters of his life. He called for an orphaned grand-niece to keep him company in his old age; the woman-hating old bachelor became grateful for the cheerful presence of the pretty, lively Mary Pearson, who was good and sensible, nothing more. She formed a close friendship with the daughters of the vicar, Mr. Browning, and Mr. Gibson found time to become quite close with all three. Hollingford speculated a lot on which young lady would become Mrs. Gibson, and felt somewhat disappointed when the discussions about potential matches and the gossip surrounding the handsome young surgeon’s marriage ended in the most natural way possible—with him marrying his predecessor’s niece. The two Miss Brownings showed no signs of getting sick over this, even though their looks and manners were closely monitored. On the contrary, they were rather loudly cheerful at the wedding, and it was poor Mrs. Gibson who died of consumption four or five years after her marriage—three years after her great-uncle's death, and when her only child, Molly, was just three years old.
Mr. Gibson did not speak much about the grief at the loss of his wife, which it was supposed that he felt. Indeed, he avoided all demonstrations of sympathy, and got up hastily and left the room when Miss Phœbe Browning first saw him after his loss, and burst into an uncontrollable flood of tears, which threatened to end in hysterics. Miss Browning declared she never could forgive him for his hard-heartedness on that occasion; but a fortnight afterwards she came to very high words with old Mrs. Goodenough, for gasping out her doubts whether Mr. Gibson was a man of deep feeling; judging by the narrowness of his crape hat-band, which ought to have covered his hat, whereas there was at least three inches of beaver to be seen. And, in spite of it all, Miss Browning and Miss Phœbe considered themselves as Mr. Gibson's most intimate friends, in right of their regard for his dead wife, and would fain have taken a quasi-motherly interest in his little girl, had she not been guarded by a watchful dragon in the shape of Betty, her nurse, who was jealous of any interference between her and her charge; and especially resentful and disagreeable towards all those ladies who, by suitable age, rank, or propinquity, she thought capable of "casting sheep's eyes at master."
Mr. Gibson didn’t talk much about the sadness he felt after losing his wife. In fact, he avoided any signs of sympathy and quickly got up and left the room when Miss Phœbe Browning saw him for the first time after his loss and burst into uncontrollable tears that nearly turned into hysterics. Miss Browning said she could never forgive him for being so coldhearted that day; however, two weeks later, she nearly got into a heated argument with old Mrs. Goodenough for expressing doubts about whether Mr. Gibson was truly a sensitive man, based on the narrowness of his mourning hatband, which should have covered more of his hat but left at least three inches of felt visible. Despite all of this, Miss Browning and Miss Phœbe considered themselves Mr. Gibson's closest friends because of their feelings for his late wife and wished to take a somewhat motherly interest in his little girl, if only she weren’t protected by a watchful guardian in the form of Betty, her nurse, who was possessive about any interference between her and her ward; she was particularly resentful and unpleasant toward any women who might be seen as capable of showing interest in Mr. Gibson.
Several years before the opening of this story, Mr. Gibson's position seemed settled for life, both socially and professionally. He was a widower, and likely to remain so; his domestic affections were centred on little Molly, but even to her, in their most private moments, he did not give way to much expression of his feelings; his most caressing appellation for her was "Goosey," and he took a pleasure in bewildering her infant mind with his badinage. He had rather a contempt for demonstrative people, arising from his medical insight into the consequences to health of uncontrolled feeling. He deceived himself into believing that still his reason was lord of all, because he had never fallen into the habit of expression on any other than purely intellectual subjects. Molly, however, had her own intuitions to guide her. Though her papa laughed at her, quizzed her, joked at her, in a way which the Miss Brownings called "really cruel" to each other when they were quite alone, Molly took her little griefs and pleasures, and poured them into her papa's ears, sooner even than into Betty's, that kind-hearted termagant. The child grew to understand her father well, and the two had the most delightful intercourse together—half banter, half seriousness, but altogether confidential friendship. Mr. Gibson kept three servants; Betty, a cook, and a girl who was supposed to be housemaid, but who was under both the elder two, and had a pretty life of it in consequence. Three servants would not have been required if it had not been Mr. Gibson's habit, as it had been Mr. Hall's before him, to take two "pupils" as they were called in the genteel language of Hollingford, "apprentices" as they were in fact—being bound by indentures, and paying a handsome premium to learn their business. They lived in the house, and occupied an uncomfortable, ambiguous, or, as Miss Browning called it with some truth, "amphibious" position. They had their meals with Mr. Gibson and Molly, and were felt to be terribly in the way; Mr. Gibson not being a man who could make conversation, and hating the duty of talking under restraint. Yet something within him made him wince, as if his duties were not rightly performed, when, as the cloth was drawn, the two awkward lads rose up with joyful alacrity, gave him a nod, which was to be interpreted as a bow, knocked against each other in their endeavours to get out of the dining-room quickly; and then might be heard dashing along a passage which led to the surgery, choking with half-suppressed laughter. Yet the annoyance he felt at this dull sense of imperfectly fulfilled duties only made his sarcasms on their inefficiency, or stupidity, or ill manners, more bitter than before.
Several years before this story begins, Mr. Gibson's life seemed settled for good, both socially and professionally. He was a widower and likely to stay that way; his emotional focus was on little Molly, but even with her, in their most private moments, he didn't express his feelings much. His most affectionate nickname for her was "Goosey," and he enjoyed bewildering her young mind with his playful teasing. He had a bit of contempt for overly emotional people, stemming from his medical understanding of how uncontrolled emotions could affect health. He convinced himself that his reason was in control because he never fell into the habit of discussing anything beyond purely intellectual topics. However, Molly had her own instincts to guide her. Although her dad laughed, teased, and joked with her in a way the Miss Brownings thought was "really cruel" when they were alone, Molly shared her little joys and sorrows with her dad even before she did with Betty, the kind-hearted but tough housekeeper. The child grew to understand her father well, and the two enjoyed a delightful relationship—part teasing, part serious, but completely filled with trust. Mr. Gibson had three servants: Betty, a cook, and a girl who was supposed to be a housemaid but was actually under the other two, enjoying an easy life because of it. They wouldn’t have needed three servants if it hadn’t been Mr. Gibson's habit, as it had been Mr. Hall's before him, to take two "pupils," as they were called in the fancy language of Hollingford, but were essentially "apprentices"—bound by contracts and paying a hefty fee to learn their trade. They lived in the house and were in an uncomfortable, ambiguous, or, as Miss Browning somewhat accurately called it, "amphibious" position. They had their meals with Mr. Gibson and Molly and felt like a burden; Mr. Gibson wasn’t the type to make small talk and hated the pressure of talking when it felt forced. Still, something inside him made him flinch, as if he weren't doing his duties correctly, when, as the table was cleared, the two awkward boys jumped up eagerly, gave him a nod that was meant to be a bow, bumped into each other trying to leave the dining room quickly, and could then be heard rushing down a hallway toward the surgery, choking on their half-suppressed laughter. Yet, the irritation he felt over this sense of not fulfilling his responsibilities only made his criticisms of their incompetence, foolishness, or bad manners even sharper.
Beyond direct professional instruction, he did not know what to do with the succession of pairs of young men, whose mission seemed to be, to be plagued by their master consciously, and to plague him unconsciously. Once or twice Mr. Gibson had declined taking a fresh pupil, in the hopes of shaking himself free from the incubus, but his reputation as a clever surgeon had spread so rapidly that his fees which he had thought prohibitory, were willingly paid, in order that the young man might make a start in life, with the prestige of having been a pupil of Gibson of Hollingford. But as Molly grew to be a little girl instead of a child, when she was about eight years old, her father perceived the awkwardness of her having her breakfasts and dinners so often alone with the pupils, without his uncertain presence. To do away with this evil, more than for the actual instruction she could give, he engaged a respectable woman, the daughter of a shopkeeper in the town, who had left a destitute family, to come every morning before breakfast, and to stay with Molly till he came home at night; or, if he was detained, until the child's bed-time.
Beyond direct professional training, he was unsure how to handle the constant stream of young men whose purpose seemed to be to consciously annoy their mentor and unconsciously trouble him. A couple of times, Mr. Gibson had refused to take on a new pupil, hoping to rid himself of this burden, but his reputation as a skilled surgeon grew so quickly that his fees, which he had thought were too high, were gladly paid to ensure the young man could start his career with the prestige of having trained under Gibson of Hollingford. As Molly transitioned from being a little girl to a bit older, around eight years old, her father noticed the awkwardness of her often having her breakfasts and dinners alone with the pupils, without his uncertain presence. To solve this problem, and more for the sake of Molly’s comfort than for the instruction she could provide, he hired a respectable woman, the daughter of a local shopkeeper who had fallen on hard times, to come every morning before breakfast and stay with Molly until he returned in the evening; or, if he was held up, until it was time for the child to go to bed.
"Now, Miss Eyre," said he, summing up his instructions the day before she entered upon her office, "remember this: you are to make good tea for the young men, and see that they have their meals comfortably, and—you are five-and-thirty, I think you said?—try and make them talk,—rationally, I am afraid is beyond your or anybody's power; but make them talk without stammering or giggling. Don't teach Molly too much: she must sew, and read, and write, and do her sums; but I want to keep her a child, and if I find more learning desirable for her, I'll see about giving it to her myself. After all, I'm not sure that reading or writing is necessary. Many a good woman gets married with only a cross instead of her name; it's rather a diluting of mother-wit, to my fancy; but, however, we must yield to the prejudices of society, Miss Eyre, and so you may teach the child to read."
"Now, Miss Eyre," he said, summarizing his instructions the day before she started her job, "remember this: you need to make good tea for the young men and ensure they've got their meals comfortably, and—you’re thirty-five, I think you mentioned?—try to get them to talk,—though rational conversation may be asking too much from you or anyone else; but get them to talk without stammering or giggling. Don't over-educate Molly: she should sew, read, write, and do her math; but I want to keep her a child, and if I decide she needs more learning, I’ll handle that myself. After all, I’m not convinced that reading or writing is essential. Plenty of good women get married with just a cross for a signature; it seems to dilute common sense, in my opinion; but still, we must comply with society's expectations, Miss Eyre, so you can teach the child to read."
Miss Eyre listened in silence, perplexed but determined to be obedient to the directions of the doctor, whose kindness she and her family had good cause to know. She made strong tea; she helped the young men liberally in Mr. Gibson's absence, as well as in his presence, and she found the way to unloosen their tongues, whenever their master was away, by talking to them on trivial subjects in her pleasant homely way. She taught Molly to read and write, but tried honestly to keep her back in every other branch of education. It was only by fighting and struggling hard, that bit by bit Molly persuaded her father to let her have French and drawing lessons. He was always afraid of her becoming too much educated, though he need not have been alarmed; the masters who visited such small country towns as Hollingford forty years ago, were no such great proficients in their arts. Once a week she joined a dancing class in the assembly-room at the principal inn in the town: the "George;" and, being daunted by her father in every intellectual attempt, she read every book that came in her way, almost with as much delight as if it had been forbidden. For his station in life, Mr. Gibson had an unusually good library; the medical portion of it was inaccessible to Molly, being kept in the surgery, but every other book she had either read, or tried to read. Her summer place of study was that seat in the cherry-tree, where she got the green stains on her frock, that have already been mentioned as likely to wear Betty's life out. In spite of this "hidden worm i' th' bud," Betty was to all appearance strong, alert, and flourishing. She was the one crook in Miss Eyre's lot, who was otherwise so happy in having met with a suitable well-paid employment just when she needed it most. But Betty, though agreeing in theory with her master when he told her of the necessity of having a governess for his little daughter, was vehemently opposed to any division of her authority and influence over the child who had been her charge, her plague, and her delight ever since Mrs. Gibson's death. She took up her position as censor of all Miss Eyre's sayings and doings from the very first, and did not for a moment condescend to conceal her disapprobation. In her heart she could not help respecting the patience and painstaking of the good lady,—for a "lady" Miss Eyre was in the best sense of the word, though in Hollingford she only took rank as a shopkeeper's daughter. Yet Betty buzzed about her with the teasing pertinacity of a gnat, always ready to find fault, if not to bite. Miss Eyre's only defence came from the quarter whence it might least have been expected—from her pupil; on whose fancied behalf, as an oppressed little personage, Betty always based her attacks. But very early in the day Molly perceived their injustice, and soon afterwards she began to respect Miss Eyre for her silent endurance of what evidently gave her far more pain than Betty imagined. Mr. Gibson had been a friend in need to her family, so Miss Eyre restrained her complaints, sooner than annoy him. And she had her reward. Betty would offer Molly all sorts of small temptations to neglect Miss Eyre's wishes; Molly steadily resisted, and plodded away at her task of sewing or her difficult sum. Betty made cumbrous jokes at Miss Eyre's expense; Molly looked up with the utmost gravity, as if requesting the explanation of an unintelligible speech; and there is nothing so quenching to a wag as to be asked to translate his jest into plain matter-of-fact English, and to show wherein the point lies. Occasionally Betty lost her temper entirely, and spoke impertinently to Miss Eyre; but when this had been done in Molly's presence, the girl flew out into such a violent passion of words in defence of her silent trembling governess, that even Betty herself was daunted, though she chose to take the child's anger as a good joke, and tried to persuade Miss Eyre herself to join in her amusement.
Miss Eyre listened quietly, feeling confused but determined to follow the doctor’s advice, for both she and her family had reason to appreciate his kindness. She brewed strong tea and helped the young men generously when Mr. Gibson was away and even while he was present, finding ways to loosen their tongues by chatting with them about trivial topics in her warm, familiar manner. She taught Molly how to read and write but honestly tried to hold her back in other areas of education. It was only through hard work and persistence that Molly gradually convinced her father to allow her French and drawing lessons. He was always worried about her becoming too educated, although there was no real need for his concern; the teachers who came to small country towns like Hollingford forty years ago weren’t that highly skilled. Once a week, she attended a dance class in the assembly room of the main inn in town, the "George," and feeling discouraged by her father in every intellectual endeavor, she eagerly read every book she came across, almost as if it were a forbidden pleasure. For someone of his status, Mr. Gibson had a surprisingly good library; the medical books were off-limits for Molly, kept in the surgery, but she had either read or attempted to read every other book. Her favorite study spot was in the cherry tree, where she stained her dress green, which had already been mentioned as something that would wear Betty out. Despite this “hidden pest,” Betty appeared to be strong, lively, and thriving. She was the only complication in Miss Eyre's otherwise happy life as she had recently found suitable and well-paying work just when she needed it most. However, Betty, although she agreed in principle with Mr. Gibson about needing a governess for his little daughter, was fiercely opposed to sharing her authority over the child who had been her responsibility, her burden, and her joy since Mrs. Gibson's passing. From the very beginning, she positioned herself as the critic of all Miss Eyre's actions and words, showing no hesitation in expressing her disapproval. Deep down, she couldn’t help but admire the patience and dedication of the good woman—Miss Eyre truly was a “lady” in the finest sense, though in Hollingford she only held the status of a shopkeeper's daughter. Still, Betty hovered around her with the annoying persistence of a gnat, always ready to nitpick. Miss Eyre's only support came from an unexpected source—her pupil, who always felt like an oppressed little being, and it was on Molly's behalf that Betty based her criticisms. But right from the start, Molly saw the unfairness of Betty's behavior, and before long, she began to admire Miss Eyre for quietly enduring what clearly hurt her more than Betty realized. Mr. Gibson had been a helpful friend to Miss Eyre's family, so she held back her complaints rather than irritate him. And she was rewarded for it. Betty would tempt Molly with small distractions to ignore Miss Eyre’s wishes; however, Molly consistently resisted and continued working on her sewing or difficult math problems. Betty would make clumsy jokes at Miss Eyre’s expense, yet Molly would look up seriously, as if asking for clarification on something she didn’t understand, and nothing deflates a jokester more than being asked to explain their joke in straightforward terms and point out where the humor lies. Occasionally, Betty would completely lose her temper and be rude to Miss Eyre; but when this happened in Molly’s presence, the girl would erupt in a passionate defense of her silent, trembling governess, which even caused Betty to feel taken aback, although she chose to treat the child’s outburst as a joke and attempted to make Miss Eyre join in her amusement.
"Bless the child! one 'ud think I was a hungry pussy-cat, and she a hen-sparrow, with her wings all fluttering, and her little eyes aflame, and her beak ready to peck me just because I happened to look near her nest. Nay, child! if thou lik'st to be stifled in a nasty close room, learning things as is of no earthly good when they is learnt, instead o' riding on Job Donkin's hay-cart, it's thy look-out, not mine. She's a little vixen, isn't she?" smiling at Miss Eyre, as she finished her speech. But the poor governess saw no humour in the affair; the comparison of Molly to a hen-sparrow was lost upon her. She was sensitive and conscientious, and knew, from home experience, the evils of an ungovernable temper. So she began to reprove Molly for giving way to her passion, and the child thought it hard to be blamed for what she considered her just anger against Betty. But, after all, these were the small grievances of a very happy childhood.
"Poor kid! You’d think I was a hungry cat and she was a little bird, with her wings all flapping, her eyes wide open, and her beak ready to peck at me just because I came close to her nest. Come on, kid! If you want to be stuck in a cramped, stuffy room, learning things that don’t matter when you actually learn them, instead of riding on Job Donkin's hay cart, that's your choice, not mine. She's a little troublemaker, isn’t she?" she said, smiling at Miss Eyre as she finished speaking. But the poor governess didn’t see any humor in it; the comparison of Molly to a little bird didn’t register with her. She was sensitive and conscientious and understood from personal experience the issues that come with an uncontrollable temper. So she started to scold Molly for losing her temper, while the child thought it was unfair to be blamed for what she saw as justified anger against Betty. But really, these were just the minor annoyances of a very happy childhood.
CHAPTER IV.
MR. GIBSON'S NEIGHBOURS.
olly grew up among these
quiet people in calm monotony of life,
without any greater event than that which has been recorded—the
being left behind at the Towers—until she was nearly seventeen. She
had become a visitor at the school, but she had never gone again to
the annual festival at the great house; it was easy to find some
excuse for keeping away, and the recollection of that day was not a
pleasant one on the whole, though she often thought how much she
should like to see the gardens again.
Molly grew up among these quiet people in the calm routine of life, without any bigger events than what had been recorded—the day she was left behind at the Towers—until she was almost seventeen. She had become a visitor at the school, but she never went back to the annual festival at the great house; it was easy to come up with excuses to stay away, and the memory of that day wasn’t a pleasant one overall, though she often thought about how much she would love to see the gardens again.
Lady Agnes was married; there was only Lady Harriet remaining at home; Lord Hollingford, the eldest son, had lost his wife, and was a good deal more at the Towers since he had become a widower. He was a tall ungainly man, considered to be as proud as his mother, the countess; but, in fact, he was only shy, and slow at making commonplace speeches. He did not know what to say to people whose daily habits and interests were not the same as his; he would have been very thankful for a handbook of small-talk, and would have learnt off his sentences with good-humoured diligence. He often envied the fluency of his garrulous father, who delighted in talking to everybody, and was perfectly unconscious of the incoherence of his conversation. But, owing to his constitutional reserve and shyness, Lord Hollingford was not a popular man although his kindness of heart was very great, his simplicity of character extreme, and his scientific acquirements considerable enough to entitle him to much reputation in the European republic of learned men. In this respect Hollingford was proud of him. The inhabitants knew that the great, grave, clumsy heir to its fealty was highly esteemed for his wisdom; and that he had made one or two discoveries, though in what direction they were not quite sure. But it was safe to point him out to strangers visiting the little town, as "That's Lord Hollingford—the famous Lord Hollingford, you know; you must have heard of him, he is so scientific." If the strangers knew his name, they also knew his claims to fame; if they did not, ten to one but they would make as if they did, and so conceal not only their own ignorance, but that of their companions, as to the exact nature of the sources of his reputation.
Lady Agnes was married; only Lady Harriet was left at home. Lord Hollingford, the eldest son, had lost his wife and spent a lot more time at the Towers since becoming a widower. He was a tall, awkward man, thought to be as proud as his mother, the countess; but really, he was just shy and slow at making small talk. He struggled to find the right words to say to people whose daily lives and interests were different from his own; he would have been grateful for a guide on small talk and would have memorized his lines with a cheerful determination. He often envied his talkative father, who enjoyed chatting with everyone and was completely unaware of the jumble in his conversation. However, because of his natural reserve and shyness, Lord Hollingford wasn’t very popular, even though he had a big heart, an extremely simple character, and enough scientific knowledge to earn him a solid reputation among the learned men of Europe. In this regard, Hollingford was proud of him. The locals knew that the serious, clumsy heir to the title was greatly respected for his intelligence and that he had made a few discoveries, though they weren’t exactly sure in what field. But it was safe to point him out to visitors in the small town as, “That’s Lord Hollingford—the famous Lord Hollingford, you know; you must have heard of him, he’s so scientific.” If the visitors recognized his name, they also knew why he was famous; if they didn’t, they would likely pretend they did to hide their own ignorance, as well as that of their companions, about the specifics of his achievements.
He was left a widower with two or three boys. They were at a public school; so that their companionship could make the house in which he had passed his married life but little of a home to him, and he consequently spent much of his time at the Towers; where his mother was proud of him, and his father very fond, but ever so little afraid of him. His friends were always welcomed by Lord and Lady Cumnor; the former, indeed, was in the habit of welcoming everybody everywhere; but it was a proof of Lady Cumnor's real affection for her distinguished son, that she allowed him to ask what she called "all sorts of people" to the Towers. "All sorts of people" meant really those who were distinguished for science and learning, without regard to rank: and it must be confessed, without much regard to polished manners likewise.
He was left a widower with two or three sons. They were attending a public school, so their presence made the house where he had lived with his wife feel less like a home to him. As a result, he often spent a lot of his time at the Towers, where his mother was proud of him and his father was very fond of him, though a little afraid of him. Lord and Lady Cumnor always welcomed his friends; in fact, Lord Cumnor was known for welcoming everyone everywhere. However, it showed Lady Cumnor’s genuine affection for her distinguished son that she allowed him to invite what she called "all sorts of people" to the Towers. "All sorts of people" really referred to those known for their contributions to science and learning, regardless of their status, and to be honest, without much consideration for their social graces, either.
Mr. Hall, Mr. Gibson's predecessor, had always been received with friendly condescension by my lady, who had found him established as the family medical man, when first she came to the Towers on her marriage; but she never thought of interfering with his custom of taking his meals, if he needed refreshment, in the housekeeper's room, not with the housekeeper, bien entendu. The comfortable, clever, stout, and red-faced doctor would very much have preferred this, even if he had had the choice given him (which he never had) of taking his "snack," as he called it, with my lord and my lady, in the grand dining-room. Of course, if some great surgical gun (like Sir Astley) was brought down from London to bear on the family's health, it was due to him, as well as to the local medical attendant, to ask Mr. Hall to dinner, in a formal and ceremonious manner, on which occasions Mr. Hall buried his chin in voluminous folds of white muslin, put on his black knee-breeches, with bunches of ribbon at the sides, his silk stockings and buckled shoes, and otherwise made himself excessively uncomfortable in his attire, and went forth in state in a post-chaise from the "George," consoling himself in the private corner of his heart for the discomfort he was enduring with the idea of how well it would sound the next day in the ears of the squires whom he was in the habit of attending: "Yesterday at dinner the earl said," or "the countess remarked," or "I was surprised to hear when I was dining at the Towers yesterday." But somehow things had changed since Mr. Gibson had become "the doctor" par excellence at Hollingford. Miss Brownings thought that it was because he had such an elegant figure, and "such a distinguished manner;" Mrs. Goodenough, "because of his aristocratic connections"—"the son of a Scotch duke, my dear, never mind on which side of the blanket." But the fact was certain; although he might frequently ask Mrs. Brown to give him something to eat in the housekeeper's room—he had no time for all the fuss and ceremony of luncheon with my lady—he was always welcome to the grandest circle of visitors in the house. He might lunch with a duke any day that he chose; given that a duke was forthcoming at the Towers. His accent was Scotch, not provincial. He had not an ounce of superfluous flesh on his bones; and leanness goes a great way to gentility. His complexion was sallow, and his hair black; in those days, the decade after the conclusion of the great continental war, to be sallow and black-a-vised was of itself a distinction; he was not jovial (as my lord remarked with a sigh, but it was my lady who endorsed the invitations), sparing of his words, intelligent, and slightly sarcastic. Therefore he was perfectly presentable.
Mr. Hall, Mr. Gibson's predecessor, had always been greeted with friendly condescension by my lady, who had found him already established as the family doctor when she first arrived at the Towers after her marriage. However, she never thought of interfering with his habit of eating his meals in the housekeeper's room, not with the housekeeper, bien entendu. The comfortable, clever, stout, and red-faced doctor would have preferred this arrangement, even if he had been given the choice (which he never was) of having his "snack," as he called it, with my lord and my lady in the grand dining room. Of course, if some prominent surgeon (like Sir Astley) was brought down from London to focus on the family's health, it was fitting for both him and the local medical attendant to formally invite Mr. Hall to dinner. On those occasions, Mr. Hall would hide his chin in large folds of white muslin, don his black knee-breeches with ribbons at the sides, silk stockings and buckled shoes, making himself incredibly uncomfortable in his outfit, and would head out in a post-chaise from the “George,” secretly comforting himself about his discomfort with the thought of how impressive it would sound the next day to the squires he normally attended: "Yesterday at dinner the earl said," or "the countess remarked," or "I was surprised to hear when I was dining at the Towers yesterday." But somehow things had changed since Mr. Gibson became "the doctor" par excellence in Hollingford. The Miss Brownings believed it was because he had such an elegant figure and "a distinguished manner"; Mrs. Goodenough thought it was "because of his aristocratic connections"—"the son of a Scottish duke, my dear, never mind on which side of the blanket." But the fact was clear; even though he often asked Mrs. Brown for something to eat in the housekeeper's room—since he didn't have time for the fuss and ceremony of lunch with my lady—he was always welcome among the highest-ranking visitors in the house. He could lunch with a duke any day he wanted, assuming a duke was around at the Towers. His accent was Scottish, not regional. He had no extra flesh on his body; and being lean adds to one’s gentility. His complexion was sallow, and his hair black; in those days, the decade after the end of the great continental war, being sallow and having dark features was a distinction in itself; he was not jovial (as my lord remarked with a sigh, but it was my lady who pushed for the invitations), was sparing of his words, intelligent, and slightly sarcastic. Therefore, he was perfectly presentable.
His Scotch blood (for that he was of Scottish descent there could be no manner of doubt) gave him just the kind of thistly dignity which made every one feel that they must treat him with respect; so on that head he was assured. The grandeur of being an invited guest to dinner at the Towers from time to time, gave him but little pleasure for many years, but it was a form to be gone through in the way of his profession, without any idea of social gratification.
His Scottish heritage (and there was no doubt that he was of Scottish descent) gave him a kind of thorny dignity that made everyone feel they had to treat him with respect; so in that regard, he was secure. Being invited to dinner at the Towers from time to time didn't bring him much joy for many years, but it was just something to go through as part of his job, without any expectation of social enjoyment.
But when Lord Hollingford returned to make the Towers his home, affairs were altered. Mr. Gibson really heard and learnt things that interested him seriously, and that gave fresh flavour to his reading. From time to time he met the leaders of the scientific world; odd-looking, simple-hearted men, very much in earnest about their own particular subjects, and not having much to say on any other. Mr. Gibson found himself capable of appreciating such persons, and also perceived that they valued his appreciation, as it was honestly and intelligently given. Indeed, by-and-by, he began to send contributions of his own to the more scientific of the medical journals, and thus partly in receiving, partly in giving out information and accurate thought, a new zest was added to his life. There was not much intercourse between Lord Hollingford and himself; the one was too silent and shy, the other too busy, to seek each other's society with the perseverance required to do away with the social distinction of rank that prevented their frequent meetings. But each was thoroughly pleased to come into contact with the other. Each could rely on the other's respect and sympathy with a security unknown to many who call themselves friends; and this was a source of happiness to both; to Mr. Gibson the most so, of course; for his range of intelligent and cultivated society was the smaller. Indeed, there was no one equal to himself among the men with whom he associated, and this he had felt as a depressing influence, although he never recognized the cause of his depression. There was Mr. Ashton, the vicar, who had succeeded Mr. Browning, a thoroughly good and kind-hearted man, but one without an original thought in him; whose habitual courtesy and indolent mind led him to agree to every opinion, not palpably heterodox, and to utter platitudes in the most gentlemanly manner. Mr. Gibson had once or twice amused himself, by leading the vicar on in his agreeable admissions of arguments "as perfectly convincing," and of statements as "curious but undoubted," till he had planted the poor clergyman in a bog of heretical bewilderment. But then Mr. Ashton's pain and suffering at suddenly finding out into what a theological predicament he had been brought, his real self-reproach at his previous admissions, were so great that Mr. Gibson lost all sense of fun, and hastened back to the Thirty-nine Articles with all the good-will in life, as the only means of soothing the vicar's conscience. On any other subject, except that of orthodoxy, Mr. Gibson could lead him any lengths; but then his ignorance on most of them prevented bland acquiescence from arriving at any results which could startle him. He had some private fortune, and was not married, and lived the life of an indolent and refined bachelor; but though he himself was no very active visitor among his poorer parishioners, he was always willing to relieve their wants in the most liberal, and, considering his habits, occasionally in the most self-denying manner, whenever Mr. Gibson, or any one else, made them clearly known to him. "Use my purse as freely as if it was your own, Gibson," he was wont to say. "I'm such a bad one at going about and making talk to poor folk—I daresay I don't do enough in that way—but I am most willing to give you anything for any one you may consider in want."
But when Lord Hollingford came back to make the Towers his home, things changed. Mr. Gibson truly listened and learned things that seriously interested him and added a fresh perspective to his reading. Occasionally, he met leaders in the scientific community; they were odd-looking, straightforward men, deeply focused on their own subjects and not having much to say about anything else. Mr. Gibson found he could appreciate these individuals, and he recognized that they valued his appreciation because it was genuine and thoughtful. Over time, he even started to submit his own contributions to some of the more scientific medical journals, and through both receiving and sharing information and insightful ideas, a new excitement was added to his life. There wasn't much interaction between Lord Hollingford and him; one was too quiet and reserved, while the other was too preoccupied to seek each other's company often enough to overcome the social differences that kept them apart. Yet, both were genuinely happy to connect with one another. Each could trust in the other's respect and compassion in a way that was different from many who call themselves friends, and this brought happiness to them both; for Mr. Gibson, especially, since his circle of intelligent and cultured companions was quite limited. In fact, he found no one among his peers who matched him, which he sensed as a discouraging influence, even though he never identified the reason for his feelings. There was Mr. Ashton, the vicar who had taken over from Mr. Browning, a genuinely good-hearted man, but one who lacked original thought; his usual politeness and laid-back demeanor led him to agree with any opinion that wasn't obviously heretical and to express clichés in the most gentlemanly way. A couple of times, Mr. Gibson had entertained himself by encouraging the vicar in his agreeable affirmations of arguments "as perfectly convincing" and statements as "strange but certain," until he left the poor clergyman stuck in a swamp of theological confusion. However, when Mr. Ashton realized the theological trouble he had been led into, his pain and self-reproach over his previous agreements were so profound that Mr. Gibson lost all sense of amusement and quickly returned to the Thirty-nine Articles with all the goodwill imaginable, as the only way to ease the vicar's conscience. On any subject except orthodoxy, Mr. Gibson could push him in any direction; but the vicar’s ignorance on most topics prevented any agreeable responses from leading to surprising outcomes. He had some private wealth and was unmarried, living the life of an easy-going and refined bachelor; but even though he himself wasn't very active in visiting his poorer parishioners, he was always willing to help meet their needs in the most generous, and sometimes in the most self-denying way, whenever Mr. Gibson or anyone else made their struggles clear to him. "Use my money as freely as if it was your own, Gibson," he would say. "I’m terrible at going out and chatting with the poor—I probably don’t do enough in that regard—but I’m more than happy to give you anything for anyone you think might need it."
"Thank you; I come upon you pretty often, I believe, and make very little scruple about it; but if you'll allow me to suggest, it is, that you shouldn't try to make talk when you go into the cottages; but just talk."
"Thank you; I run into you pretty often, I think, and I don't feel too bad about it; but if I may suggest, you shouldn't try to make conversation when you visit the cottages; just talk."
"I don't see the difference," said the vicar, a little querulously; "but I daresay there is a difference, and I have no doubt what you say is quite true. I shouldn't make talk, but talk; and as both are equally difficult to me, you must let me purchase the privilege of silence by this ten-pound note."
"I don’t see the difference,” said the vicar, a bit grumpily; “but I guess there is a difference, and I have no doubt that what you say is quite true. I shouldn’t have to speak, but talking is hard for me, so you’ll have to let me buy the privilege of silence with this ten-pound note."
"Thank you. It's not so satisfactory to me; and, I should think, not to yourself. But probably the Joneses and Greens will prefer it."
"Thanks. It's not very satisfying to me, and I assume it isn't for you either. But I guess the Joneses and Greens will like it."
Mr. Ashton would look with plaintive inquiry into Mr. Gibson's face after some such speech, as if asking if a sarcasm was intended. On the whole, they went on in the most amicable way; only beyond the gregarious feeling common to most men, they had very little actual pleasure in each other's society. Perhaps the man of all others to whom Mr. Gibson took the most kindly—at least, until Lord Hollingford came into the neighbourhood—was a certain Squire Hamley. He and his ancestors had been called squire as long back as local tradition extended. But there was many a greater land-owner in the county, for Squire Hamley's estate was not more than eight hundred acres or so. But his family had been in possession of it long before the Earls of Cumnor had been heard of; before the Hely-Harrisons had bought Coldstone Park; no one in Hollingford knew the time when the Hamleys had not lived at Hamley. "Ever since the Heptarchy," said the vicar. "Nay," said Miss Browning, "I have heard that there were Hamleys of Hamley before the Romans." The vicar was preparing a polite assent, when Mrs. Goodenough came in with a still more startling assertion. "I have always heerd," said she, with all the slow authority of an oldest inhabitant, "that there was Hamleys of Hamley afore the time of the pagans." Mr. Ashton could only bow, and say, "Possibly, very possibly, madam." But he said it in so courteous a manner that Mrs. Goodenough looked round in a gratified way, as much as to say, "The Church confirms my words; who now will dare dispute them?" At any rate, the Hamleys were a very old family, if not aborigines. They had not increased their estate for centuries; they had held their own, if even with an effort, and had not sold a rood of it for the last hundred years or so. But they were not an adventurous race. They never traded, or speculated, or tried agricultural improvements of any kind. They had no capital in any bank; nor what perhaps would have been more in character, hoards of gold in any stocking. Their mode of life was simple, and more like that of yeomen than squires. Indeed Squire Hamley, by continuing the primitive manners and customs of his forefathers, the squires of the eighteenth century, did live more as a yeoman, when such a class existed, than as a squire of this generation. There was a dignity in this quiet conservatism that gained him an immense amount of respect both from high and low; and he might have visited at every house in the county had he so chosen. But he was very indifferent to the charms of society; and perhaps this was owing to the fact that the squire, Roger Hamley, who at present lived and reigned at Hamley, had not received so good an education as he ought to have done. His father, Squire Stephen, had been plucked at Oxford, and, with stubborn pride, he had refused to go up again. Nay, more! he had sworn a great oath, as men did in those days, that none of his children to come should ever know either university by becoming a member of it. He had only one child, the present Squire, and he was brought up according to his father's word; he was sent to a petty provincial school, where he saw much that he hated, and then turned loose upon the estate as its heir. Such a bringing up did not do him all the harm that might have been anticipated. He was imperfectly educated, and ignorant on many points; but he was aware of his deficiency, and regretted it in theory. He was awkward and ungainly in society, and so kept out of it as much as possible; and he was obstinate, violent-tempered, and dictatorial in his own immediate circle. On the other side, he was generous, and true as steel; the very soul of honour, in fact. He had so much natural shrewdness, that his conversation was always worth listening to, although he was apt to start by assuming entirely false premises, which he considered as incontrovertible as if they had been mathematically proved; but, given the correctness of his premises, nobody could bring more natural wit and sense to bear upon the arguments based upon them.
Mr. Ashton would look at Mr. Gibson with a sad sort of curiosity after some remark, as if wondering whether it was meant to be sarcastic. Overall, they got along quite amicably; however, aside from the typical friendliness most men share, they didn’t really enjoy each other's company that much. The person Mr. Gibson was most fond of—at least until Lord Hollingford moved into the area—was a certain Squire Hamley. He and his family had been called squire for as long as local history could remember. But there were plenty of bigger landowners in the county, since Squire Hamley’s estate was only about eight hundred acres. Still, his family had owned it long before anyone had ever heard of the Earls of Cumnor or before the Hely-Harrisons purchased Coldstone Park; nobody in Hollingford could recall a time when the Hamleys hadn’t lived at Hamley. “Ever since the Heptarchy,” the vicar said. “No,” Miss Browning interjected, “I heard there were Hamleys in Hamley before the Romans.” The vicar was about to politely agree when Mrs. Goodenough walked in with an even bolder claim. “I’ve always heard,” she said, with the slow authority of an oldest inhabitant, “that there were Hamleys in Hamley before the time of the pagans.” Mr. Ashton could only bow and say, “Possibly, very possibly, madam.” But he said it so politely that Mrs. Goodenough smiled in a satisfied way, as if to say, “The Church backs me up; who would dare argue now?” In any case, the Hamleys were an ancient family, if not the original inhabitants. They hadn’t expanded their estate in centuries; they had managed to keep it, albeit with some effort, and hadn’t sold a piece of it in the last hundred years or so. But they weren’t an adventurous bunch. They didn’t trade, speculate, or try any agricultural improvements. They had no savings in any bank; nor, perhaps more fittingly, hoards of gold hidden away in their homes. Their way of life was simple, more akin to that of farmers than landowners. In fact, Squire Hamley, by sticking to the old ways of his ancestors, the squires of the eighteenth century, lived more like a farmer from that time than a squire of today. This quiet traditionalism earned him immense respect from both the upper and lower classes, and he could have visited any house in the county if he had wanted to. But he was quite indifferent to the allure of socializing; perhaps this was because the current squire, Roger Hamley, had not had the education he should have. His father, Squire Stephen, had flunked out of Oxford and stubbornly refused to return. What’s more, he had sworn a strong oath, as people did back then, that none of his future children would ever attend a university. He had only one child, the current Squire, who was raised according to his father’s wishes; he was sent to a small local school, where he experienced much that he despised, and then left to manage the estate as its heir. This upbringing didn’t cause all the harm that might have been expected. He was poorly educated and ignorant about many things, but he recognized his shortcomings and lamented them in theory. He was awkward and uncomfortable in social settings, which led him to avoid them as much as possible. He was also stubborn, hot-tempered, and bossy in his own immediate circle. On the flip side, he was generous and as reliable as they come; the very essence of honor, in fact. He had enough natural cleverness that his conversations were always worth hearing, even though he tended to start with completely false assumptions that he thought were indisputable, as if they were mathematically proven; but, if his assumptions were correct, few could offer more natural wit and sense in the discussions that followed.
He had married a delicate fine London lady; it was one of those perplexing marriages of which one cannot understand the reasons. Yet they were very happy, though possibly Mrs. Hamley would not have sunk into the condition of a chronic invalid, if her husband had cared a little more for her various tastes, or allowed her the companionship of those who did. After his marriage he was wont to say he had got all that was worth having out of the crowd of houses they called London. It was a compliment to his wife which he repeated until the year of her death; it charmed her at first, it pleased her up to the last time of her hearing it; but, for all that, she used sometimes to wish that he would recognize the fact that there might still be something worth hearing and seeing in the great city. But he never went there again, and though he did not prohibit her going, yet he showed so little sympathy with her when she came back full of what she had done on her visit that she ceased caring to go. Not but what he was kind and willing in giving his consent, and in furnishing her amply with money. "There, there, my little woman, take that! Dress yourself up as fine as any on 'em, and buy what you like, for the credit of Hamley of Hamley; and go to the park and the play, and show off with the best on 'em. I shall be glad to see thee back again, I know; but have thy fling while thou'rt about it." Then when she came back it was, "Well, well, it has pleased thee, I suppose, so that's all right. But the very talking about it tires me, I know, and I can't think how you have stood it all. Come out and see how pretty the flowers are looking in the south garden. I've made them sow all the seeds you like; and I went over to Hollingford nursery to buy the cuttings of the plants you admired last year. A breath of fresh air will clear my brain after listening to all this talk about the whirl of London, which is like to have turned me giddy."
He had married a delicate, refined lady from London; it was one of those confusing marriages where the reasons aren't really clear. Still, they were very happy, though Mrs. Hamley might not have become a chronic invalid if her husband had cared a bit more about her interests or let her spend time with people who did. After they got married, he would often say he had gotten everything worth having from the crowd of homes they called London. It was a compliment to his wife that he repeated until the year she passed away; it delighted her at first and pleased her until the last time she heard it. Despite that, she sometimes wished he would acknowledge that there was still plenty worth experiencing in the big city. But he never went back, and although he didn't stop her from going, he showed so little interest in what she did during her visits that she eventually lost the desire to go. He was kind and willing to give her permission and plenty of money. "There, there, my little lady, take this! Dress up as elegantly as anyone else and buy whatever you like, for the sake of Hamley of Hamley; and go to the park and the theater, and show off with the best of them. I'll be glad to see you back, I know; but enjoy yourself while you're at it." Then when she returned, it was, "Well, well, I guess it made you happy, so that’s good. But just talking about it tires me out, and I can't understand how you managed it all. Come out and see how beautiful the flowers are looking in the south garden. I've had them plant all the seeds you like, and I went over to Hollingford nursery to buy cuttings of the plants you liked last year. A breath of fresh air will clear my head after listening to all this talk about the hustle of London, which is making me feel dizzy."
Mrs. Hamley was a great reader, and had considerable literary taste. She was gentle and sentimental; tender and good. She gave up her visits to London; she gave up her sociable pleasure in the company of her fellows in education and position. Her husband, owing to the deficiencies of his early years, disliked associating with those to whom he ought to have been an equal; he was too proud to mingle with his inferiors. He loved his wife all the more dearly for her sacrifices for him; but, deprived of all her strong interests, she sank into ill-health; nothing definite; only she never was well. Perhaps if she had had a daughter it would have been better for her: but her two children were boys, and their father, anxious to give them the advantages of which he himself had suffered the deprivation, sent the lads very early to a preparatory school. They were to go on to Rugby and Cambridge; the idea of Oxford was hereditarily distasteful in the Hamley family. Osborne, the eldest—so called after his mother's maiden name—was full of taste, and had some talent. His appearance had all the grace and refinement of his mother's. He was sweet-tempered and affectionate, almost as demonstrative as a girl. He did well at school, carrying away many prizes; and was, in a word, the pride and delight of both father and mother; the confidential friend of the latter, in default of any other. Roger was two years younger than Osborne; clumsy and heavily built, like his father; his face was square, and the expression grave, and rather immobile. He was good, but dull, his schoolmasters said. He won no prizes, but brought home a favourable report of his conduct. When he caressed his mother, she used laughingly to allude to the fable of the lap-dog and the donkey; so thereafter he left off all personal demonstration of affection. It was a great question as to whether he was to follow his brother to college after he left Rugby. Mrs. Hamley thought it would be rather a throwing away of money, as he was so little likely to distinguish himself in intellectual pursuits; anything practical—such as a civil engineer—would be more the kind of life for him. She thought that it would be too mortifying for him to go to the same college and university as his brother, who was sure to distinguish himself—and, to be repeatedly plucked, to come away wooden-spoon at last. But his father persevered doggedly, as was his wont, in his intention of giving both his sons the same education; they should both have the advantages of which he had been deprived. If Roger did not do well at Cambridge it would be his own fault. If his father did not send him thither, some day or other he might be regretting the omission, as the Squire had done himself for many a year. So Roger followed his brother Osborne to Trinity, and Mrs. Hamley was again left alone, after the year of indecision as to Roger's destination, which had been brought on by her urgency. She had not been able for many years to walk beyond her garden; the greater part of her life was spent on a sofa, wheeled to the window in summer, to the fireside in winter. The room which she inhabited was large and pleasant; four tall windows looked out upon a lawn dotted over with flower-beds, and melting away into a small wood, in the centre of which there was a pond, filled with water-lilies. About this unseen pond in the deep shade Mrs. Hamley had written many a pretty four-versed poem since she lay on her sofa, alternately reading and composing verse. She had a small table by her side on which there were the newest works of poetry and fiction; a pencil and blotting-book, with loose sheets of blank paper; a vase of flowers always of her husband's gathering; winter and summer, she had a sweet fresh nosegay every day. Her maid brought her a draught of medicine every three hours, with a glass of clear water and a biscuit; her husband came to her as often as his love for the open air and his labours out-of-doors permitted; but the event of her day, when her boys were absent, was Mr. Gibson's frequent professional visits.
Mrs. Hamley loved to read and had a great appreciation for literature. She was kind and sentimental; gentle and good. She stopped her trips to London and gave up the joy she found in the company of her peers in education and status. Her husband, due to his humble beginnings, preferred not to interact with those he felt should be his equals; he was too proud to associate with anyone he considered beneath him. He cherished his wife even more for the sacrifices she made for him; however, without her strong interests, she fell into poor health—nothing specific, just that she never felt well. Maybe if she had had a daughter, things would have been different for her, but her two children were boys, and their father, wanting to provide them with the opportunities he missed out on, sent them off to a preparatory school at a young age. They were meant to move on to Rugby and Cambridge; the idea of Oxford was traditionally unappealing to the Hamley family. Osborne, the eldest—named after his mother's maiden name—had a strong sense of taste and some talent. He inherited all the grace and refinement of his mother. He was sweet-tempered and affectionate, almost as open as a girl. He excelled at school, winning many awards and was, in short, the pride and joy of both his parents, and especially his mother’s closest confidant. Roger was two years younger than Osborne; he was big and awkward, like his father; his face was squared, and he had a serious, rather expressionless look. His teachers described him as good but dull. He didn't win any prizes but received a positive report about his behavior. When he showed affection to his mother, she would jokingly reference the fable about the lapdog and the donkey; after that, he stopped showing any physical affection. It was a hot topic whether he should follow his brother to college after leaving Rugby. Mrs. Hamley believed it would be a waste of money since he was unlikely to excel academically; something practical—like becoming a civil engineer—would be better suited for him. She thought it would be too humiliating for him to attend the same college and university as his brother, who would surely excel, and to come away with repeated failures and ultimately win the wooden spoon. However, his father stubbornly insisted on giving both his sons the same education; they should both have the advantages he had been denied. If Roger didn't do well at Cambridge, it would be his own fault. If his father didn't send him there, one day he might regret it, just as the Squire had done for many years. So Roger followed his brother Osborne to Trinity, leaving Mrs. Hamley alone again, after a year of uncertainty regarding Roger's future, which was caused by her insistence. For many years, she had been unable to walk beyond her garden; most of her life was spent on a sofa, wheeled to the window in summer and to the fireplace in winter. The room she occupied was large and pleasant, with four tall windows overlooking a lawn sprinkled with flowerbeds that faded into a small wood, where there was a pond filled with water lilies. Around this hidden pond in the deep shade, Mrs. Hamley had written many lovely four-verse poems while lying on her sofa, alternately reading and composing. She had a small table by her side with the latest poetry and fiction; a pencil and blotting pad, along with blank sheets of paper; and a vase of flowers, always freshly picked by her husband; every day, regardless of the season, she received a sweet bouquet. Her maid brought her a dose of medicine every three hours, along with a glass of clear water and a biscuit; her husband visited her as often as his love for the outdoors and his work allowed; but the highlight of her day, when her boys were away, was Mr. Gibson's frequent professional visits.
He knew there was real secret harm going on all this time that people spoke of her as a merely fanciful invalid; and that one or two accused him of humouring her fancies. But he only smiled at such accusations. He felt that his visits were a real pleasure and lightening of her growing and indescribable discomfort; he knew that Squire Hamley would have been only too glad if he had come every day; and he was conscious that by careful watching of her symptoms he might mitigate her bodily pain. Besides all these reasons, he took great pleasure in the Squire's society. Mr. Gibson enjoyed the other's unreasonableness; his quaintness; his strong conservatism in religion, politics, and morals. Mrs. Hamley tried sometimes to apologize for, or to soften away, opinions which she fancied were offensive to the doctor, or contradictions which she thought too abrupt; but at such times her husband would lay his great hand almost caressingly on Mr. Gibson's shoulder, and soothe his wife's anxiety, by saying, "Let us alone, little woman. We understand each other, don't we, doctor? Why, bless your life, he gives me better than he gets many a time; only, you see, he sugars it over, and says a sharp thing, and pretends it's all civility and humility; but I can tell when he's giving me a pill."
He knew there was real hidden harm happening all along while people described her as just a fanciful invalid; and that one or two accused him of indulging her fantasies. But he just smiled at such accusations. He felt that his visits brought her real pleasure and eased her growing and indescribable discomfort; he knew that Squire Hamley would have been more than happy if he had come every day; and he was aware that by carefully monitoring her symptoms he could help ease her physical pain. On top of all these reasons, he genuinely enjoyed spending time with the Squire. Mr. Gibson appreciated the other man's unpredictability, his eccentricity, and his strong traditional views in religion, politics, and morals. Mrs. Hamley sometimes tried to apologize for or tone down opinions she thought might offend the doctor or remarks she found too blunt; but during those moments, her husband would gently place his large hand on Mr. Gibson's shoulder and calm his wife's worries by saying, "Leave us be, dear. We understand each other, right, doctor? You see, he often gives me more than he takes; it's just that he covers it up, says something sharp, and pretends it’s all courtesy and humility; but I can tell when he’s serving me a bitter pill."
One of Mrs. Hamley's often-expressed wishes had been, that Molly might come and pay her a visit. Mr. Gibson always refused this request of hers, though he could hardly have given his reasons for these refusals. He did not want to lose the companionship of his child, in fact; but he put it to himself in quite a different way. He thought her lessons and her regular course of employment would be interrupted. The life in Mrs. Hamley's heated and scented room would not be good for the girl; Osborne and Roger Hamley would be at home, and he did not wish Molly to be thrown too exclusively upon them for young society; or they would not be at home, and it would be rather dull and depressing for his girl to be all the day long with a nervous invalid.
One of Mrs. Hamley's frequent wishes was for Molly to come and visit her. Mr. Gibson always turned down this request of hers, though he could hardly explain why. He didn’t want to lose his child’s company, but he framed it differently in his mind. He believed that her lessons and regular activities would be disrupted. The atmosphere in Mrs. Hamley's warm and fragrant room wouldn’t be good for her; Osborne and Roger Hamley would be around, and he didn’t want Molly to rely too much on them for young company; or they might not be home, and it would be quite boring and unsettling for his girl to be with a nervous invalid all day.
But at length the day came when Mr. Gibson rode over, and volunteered a visit from Molly; an offer which Mrs. Hamley received with the "open arms of her heart," as she expressed it; and of which the duration was unspecified.
But eventually the day came when Mr. Gibson rode over and offered for Molly to visit, an invitation that Mrs. Hamley welcomed with "open arms," as she put it, and the length of the visit was left undefined.
The cause for the change in Mr. Gibson's wishes just referred to was as follows:—It has been mentioned that he took pupils, rather against his inclination, it is true; but there they were, a Mr. Wynne and Mr. Coxe, "the young gentlemen," as they were called in the household; "Mr. Gibson's young gentlemen," as they were termed in the town. Mr. Wynne was the elder, the more experienced one, who could occasionally take his master's place, and who gained experience by visiting the poor, and the "chronic cases." Mr. Gibson used to talk over his practice with Mr. Wynne, and try and elicit his opinions in the vain hope that, some day or another, Mr. Wynne might start an original thought. The young man was cautious and slow; he would never do any harm by his rashness, but at the same time he would always be a little behind his day. Still Mr. Gibson remembered that he had had far worse "young gentlemen" to deal with; and was content with, if not thankful for, such an elder pupil as Mr. Wynne. Mr. Coxe was a boy of nineteen or so, with brilliant red hair, and a tolerably red face, of both of which he was very conscious and much ashamed. He was the son of an Indian officer, an old acquaintance of Mr. Gibson's. Major Coxe was at some unpronounceable station in the Punjaub, at the present time; but the year before he had been in England, and had repeatedly expressed his great satisfaction at having placed his only child as a pupil to his old friend, and had in fact almost charged Mr. Gibson with the guardianship as well as the instruction of his boy, giving him many injunctions which he thought were special in this case; but which Mr. Gibson with a touch of annoyance assured the major were always attended to in every case, with every pupil. But when the poor major ventured to beg that his boy might be considered as one of the family, and that he might spend his evenings in the drawing-room instead of the surgery, Mr. Gibson turned upon him with a direct refusal.
The reason for the change in Mr. Gibson's wishes was as follows: It has been noted that he took on students, somewhat against his will, it's true; but there they were, Mr. Wynne and Mr. Coxe, "the young gentlemen," as they were called in the household; "Mr. Gibson's young gentlemen," as they were referred to in town. Mr. Wynne was the older, more experienced one, who could occasionally fill in for his master, gaining experience by visiting underprivileged patients and "chronic cases." Mr. Gibson would discuss his practice with Mr. Wynne, hoping to get his opinions in the vain hope that someday Mr. Wynne might have an original idea. The young man was cautious and slow; he would never cause any harm through rashness, but he would always be a bit behind the times. Still, Mr. Gibson remembered that he had dealt with far worse "young gentlemen" and was content with, if not grateful for, an older pupil like Mr. Wynne. Mr. Coxe was a boy of about nineteen, with bright red hair and a fairly red face, both of which he was very aware of and quite embarrassed about. He was the son of an Indian officer, an old friend of Mr. Gibson's. Major Coxe was stationed in some unpronounceable location in the Punjab at the moment; however, the year before he had been in England and had repeatedly expressed his immense satisfaction in having placed his only child as a pupil with his old friend, even charging Mr. Gibson with the guardianship as well as the instruction of his son, giving him many instructions that he thought were special in this case. Mr. Gibson, with a hint of annoyance, assured the major that these were always attended to with every pupil. But when the poor major dared to request that his son be treated like part of the family and allowed to spend his evenings in the drawing-room instead of the surgery, Mr. Gibson firmly refused.
"He must live like the others. I can't have the pestle and mortar carried into the drawing-room, and the place smelling of aloes."
"He has to live like everyone else. I can't have the pestle and mortar brought into the living room, and I can't stand the place smelling like aloes."
"Must my boy make pills himself, then?" asked the major, ruefully.
"Does my son have to make pills himself, then?" asked the major, sadly.
"To be sure. The youngest apprentice always does. It's not hard work. He'll have the comfort of thinking he won't have to swallow them himself. And he'll have the run of the pomfret cakes, and the conserve of hips, and on Sundays he shall have a taste of tamarinds to reward him for his weekly labour at pill-making."
"Of course. The youngest apprentice always does. It's not tough work. He'll feel good knowing he won’t have to take them himself. Plus, he’ll get to enjoy the pomfret cakes, the rose hip jam, and on Sundays, he’ll have a taste of tamarinds as a reward for his weekly work making pills."
Major Coxe was not quite sure whether Mr. Gibson was not laughing at him in his sleeve; but things were so far arranged, and the real advantages were so great, that he thought it was best to take no notice, but even to submit to the indignity of pill-making. He was consoled for all these rubs by Mr. Gibson's manner at last when the supreme moment of final parting arrived. The doctor did not say much; but there was something of real sympathy in his manner that spoke straight to the father's heart, and an implied "you have trusted me with your boy, and I have accepted the trust in full," in each of the few last words.
Major Coxe wasn’t entirely sure if Mr. Gibson was secretly laughing at him, but things were set in motion, and the real benefits were significant enough that he felt it was better to ignore it and even accept the humiliation of pill-making. He found comfort in Mr. Gibson's demeanor when the crucial moment of saying goodbye finally came. The doctor didn’t say much, but there was an authenticity in his manner that resonated with the father, carrying an unspoken message of "you’ve entrusted me with your son, and I take that commitment seriously," conveyed through the few final words exchanged.
Mr. Gibson knew his business and human nature too well to distinguish young Coxe by any overt marks of favouritism; but he could not help showing the lad occasionally that he regarded him with especial interest as the son of a friend. Besides this claim upon his regard, there was something about the young man himself that pleased Mr. Gibson. He was rash and impulsive, apt to speak, hitting the nail on the head sometimes with unconscious cleverness, at other times making gross and startling blunders. Mr. Gibson used to tell him that his motto would always be "kill or cure," and to this Mr. Coxe once made answer that he thought it was the best motto a doctor could have; for if he could not cure the patient, it was surely best to get him out of his misery quietly, and at once. Mr. Wynne looked up in surprise, and observed that he should be afraid that such putting out of misery might be looked upon as homicide by some people. Mr. Gibson said in a dry tone, that for his part he should not mind the imputation of homicide, but that it would not do to make away with profitable patients in so speedy a manner; and that he thought that as long as they were willing and able to pay two-and-sixpence for the doctor's visit, it was his duty to keep them alive; of course, when they became paupers the case was different. Mr. Wynne pondered over this speech; Mr. Coxe only laughed. At last Mr. Wynne said,—
Mr. Gibson understood both his work and human nature well enough not to show any obvious favoritism towards young Coxe, but he couldn’t help but occasionally let the kid know that he had a special interest in him as the son of a friend. Beyond that connection, there was something about the young man that appealed to Mr. Gibson. He was impulsive and often spoke his mind, sometimes hitting the nail on the head with unexpected insight and other times making shocking mistakes. Mr. Gibson liked to tell him that his motto would always be "kill or cure," to which Mr. Coxe once replied that he thought it was the best motto a doctor could have; if he couldn’t cure the patient, it was certainly better to help them out of their misery quickly. Mr. Wynne looked at him in surprise, noting that he would be worried that such an approach might be seen as murder by some people. Mr. Gibson replied dryly that he wouldn’t mind the accusation of murder, but it wouldn’t be wise to get rid of paying patients so quickly; he believed that as long as they were willing and able to pay two-and-sixpence for a doctor’s visit, it was his duty to keep them alive; of course, things were different when they became destitute. Mr. Wynne thought about this statement while Mr. Coxe just laughed. Finally, Mr. Wynne said, —
"But you go every morning, sir, before breakfast to see old Nancy Grant, and you've ordered her this medicine, sir, which is about the most costly in Corbyn's bill?"
"But you go every morning, sir, before breakfast to see old Nancy Grant, and you've ordered her this medicine, sir, which is one of the most expensive on Corbyn's bill?"
"Have you not found out how difficult it is for men to live up to their precepts? You've a great deal to learn yet, Mr. Wynne!" said Mr. Gibson, leaving the surgery as he spoke.
"Have you not realized how hard it is for people to follow their own advice? You still have a lot to learn, Mr. Wynne!" said Mr. Gibson, exiting the surgery as he spoke.
"I never can make the governor out," said Mr. Wynne, in a tone of utter despair. "What are you laughing at, Coxey?"
"I can never figure the governor out," said Mr. Wynne, sounding completely hopeless. "What are you laughing at, Coxey?"
"Oh! I'm thinking how blest you are in having parents who have instilled moral principles into your youthful bosom. You'd go and be poisoning all the paupers off, if you hadn't been told that murder was a crime by your mother; you'd be thinking you were doing as you were bid, and quote old Gibson's words when you came to be tried. 'Please, my lord judge, they were not able to pay for my visits, and so I followed the rules of the profession as taught me by Mr. Gibson, the great surgeon at Hollingford, and poisoned the paupers.'"
"Oh! I can't help but think how lucky you are to have parents who have instilled moral values in you. If you hadn’t been told by your mother that murder is a crime, you might have ended up poisoning all the poor people, thinking you were just following orders. You’d probably quote old Gibson’s words when you were on trial: 'Please, my lord judge, they couldn’t afford to pay for my visits, so I was just following the rules of the profession as taught to me by Mr. Gibson, the great surgeon at Hollingford, and poisoned the poor.'"
"I can't bear that scoffing way of his."
"I can't stand his mocking attitude."
"And I like it. If it wasn't for the governor's fun, and the tamarinds, and something else that I know of, I would run off to India. I hate stifling rooms, and sick people, and the smell of drugs, and the stink of pills on my hands;—faugh!"
"And I like it. If it weren't for the governor's amusement, and the tamarinds, and something else I know about, I would escape to India. I can't stand stuffy rooms, sick people, the smell of medication, and the stench of pills on my hands;—yuck!"
CHAPTER V.
CALF-LOVE.
One day, for some reason or other, Mr. Gibson came home unexpectedly. He was crossing the hall, having come in by the garden-door—the garden communicated with the stable-yard, where he had left his horse—when the kitchen door opened, and the girl who was underling in the establishment, came quickly into the hall with a note in her hand, and made as if she was taking it upstairs; but on seeing her master she gave a little start, and turned back as if to hide herself in the kitchen. If she had not made this movement, so conscious of guilt, Mr. Gibson, who was anything but suspicious, would never have taken any notice of her. As it was, he stepped quickly forwards, opened the kitchen door, and called out "Bethia" so sharply that she could not delay coming forwards.
One day, for some reason, Mr. Gibson came home unexpectedly. He was walking through the hall after entering through the garden door—the garden connected to the stable yard, where he had left his horse—when the kitchen door swung open. The girl who worked for him rushed into the hall with a note in her hand, and looked like she was about to head upstairs. But when she saw her boss, she jumped a little and turned back as if to hide in the kitchen. If she hadn't made that guilty move, Mr. Gibson, who was far from suspicious, wouldn’t have noticed her at all. Instead, he quickly stepped forward, opened the kitchen door, and called out "Bethia" so sharply that she couldn’t avoid coming forward.
"Give me that note," he said. She hesitated a little.
"Give me that note," he said. She hesitated for a moment.
"It's for Miss Molly," she stammered out.
"It's for Miss Molly," she stumbled over the words.
"Give it to me!" he repeated more quickly than before. She looked as if she would cry; but still she kept the note tight held behind her back.
"Give it to me!" he said, quicker than before. She looked like she was about to cry, but she still held the note tightly behind her back.
"He said as I was to give it into her own hands; and I promised as I would, faithful."
"He said that I was supposed to give it directly to her, and I promised that I would, sincerely."
"Cook, go and find Miss Molly. Tell her to come here at once."
"Cook, please go find Miss Molly. Tell her to come here right away."
He fixed Bethia with his eyes. It was of no use trying to escape: she might have thrown it into the fire, but she had not presence of mind enough. She stood immovable, only her eyes looked any way rather than encounter her master's steady gaze. "Molly, my dear!"
He locked eyes with Bethia. There was no point in trying to run away; she could have tossed it into the fire, but she didn't have the presence of mind to do so. She stood frozen, only her eyes moving anywhere but to meet her master's steady gaze. "Molly, my dear!"
"Papa! I did not know you were at home," said innocent, wondering Molly.
"Hey, Dad! I didn't know you were home," said innocent, curious Molly.
"Bethia, keep your word. Here is Miss Molly; give her the note."
"Bethia, stick to your promise. Here’s Miss Molly; hand her the note."
"Indeed, miss, I couldn't help it!"
"Really, miss, I couldn't help it!"
Molly took the note, but before she could open it, her father said,—"That's all, my dear; you needn't read it. Give it to me. Tell those who sent you, Bethia, that all letters for Miss Molly must pass through my hands. Now be off with you, goosey, and go back to where you came from."
Molly took the note, but before she could open it, her father said, “That’s enough, sweetheart; you don’t need to read it. Give it to me. Let those who sent you, Bethia, know that all letters for Miss Molly must come through me first. Now off you go, silly, and head back to where you came from.”
"Papa, I shall make you tell me who my correspondent is."
"Dad, I'm going to make you tell me who my pen pal is."
"We'll see about that, by-and-by."
"We'll see about that later."
She went a little reluctantly, with ungratified curiosity, upstairs to Miss Eyre, who was still her daily companion, if not her governess. He turned into the empty dining-room, shut the door, broke the seal of the note, and began to read it. It was a flaming love-letter from Mr. Coxe; who professed himself unable to go on seeing her day after day without speaking to her of the passion she had inspired—an "eternal passion," he called it; on reading which Mr. Gibson laughed a little. Would she not look kindly at him? would she not think of him whose only thought was of her? and so on, with a very proper admixture of violent compliments to her beauty. She was fair, not pale; her eyes were loadstars, her dimples marks of Cupid's finger, &c.
She went upstairs to see Miss Eyre a bit reluctantly, with unanswered curiosity, even though Miss Eyre was still her daily companion, if not her governess. He stepped into the empty dining room, shut the door, broke the seal on the note, and started to read it. It was an intense love letter from Mr. Coxe, who claimed he couldn’t keep seeing her every day without telling her about the passion she had stirred in him—an “eternal passion,” as he called it. Mr. Gibson chuckled a little while reading it. Would she not view him favorably? Would she not think of him, the one whose only thoughts were of her? The letter contained a healthy mix of exaggerated compliments about her beauty. She was beautiful, not pale; her eyes were like stars, and her dimples were Cupid's touch, etc.
Mr. Gibson finished reading it; and began to think about it in his own mind. "Who would have thought the lad had been so poetical? but, to be sure, there's a 'Shakspeare' in the surgery library: I'll take it away and put 'Johnson's Dictionary' instead. One comfort is the conviction of her perfect innocence—ignorance, I should rather say—for it's easy to see it's the first 'confession of his love,' as he calls it. But it's an awful worry—to begin with lovers so early. Why, she's only just seventeen,—not seventeen, indeed, till July; not for six weeks yet. Sixteen and three-quarters! Why, she's quite a baby. To be sure—poor Jeanie was not so old, and how I did love her!" (Mrs. Gibson's name was Mary, so he must have been referring to some one else.) Then his thoughts wandered back to other days, though he still held the open note in his hand. By-and-by his eyes fell upon it again, and his mind came back to bear upon the present time. "I'll not be hard upon him. I'll give him a hint; he's quite sharp enough to take it. Poor laddie! if I send him away, which would be the wisest course, I do believe he's got no home to go to."
Mr. Gibson finished reading it and started to think about it in his own mind. "Who would have thought the kid could be so poetic? But, of course, there’s a 'Shakespeare' in the surgery library: I’ll take that out and put in 'Johnson's Dictionary' instead. One comforting thought is that I’m convinced of her complete innocence—ignorance, I should say—because it’s clear this is the first 'confession of his love,' as he calls it. But it's such a big worry to start with lovers so early. She’s only just seventeen—not actually seventeen until July; not for six weeks yet. Sixteen and three-quarters! She’s practically a baby. Of course—poor Jeanie wasn’t much older, and how I loved her!" (Mrs. Gibson's name was Mary, so he must have been thinking of someone else.) Then his thoughts drifted back to other days, even though he still held the open note in his hand. After a while, his eyes fell on it again, and his mind focused back on the present. "I won’t be too hard on him. I’ll drop him a hint; he’s clever enough to catch it. Poor kid! If I send him away, which might be the smartest thing to do, I really believe he has no home to go to."
After a little more consideration in the same strain, Mr. Gibson went and sat down at the writing-table and wrote the following formula:—
After thinking it over a bit more, Mr. Gibson went to the writing table and wrote the following formula:—
Master Coxe. |
("That 'master' will touch him to the quick," said Mr. Gibson to
himself as he wrote the word.)
("That 'master' will hit him hard," said Mr. Gibson to himself as he wrote the word.)
![]() |
Verecundiæ ![]() Fidelitatis Domesticæ ![]() Reticentiæ gr. iij. |
M. | Capiat hanc dosim ter die in aquâ purâ. |
R. Gibson, Ch. R. Gibson, Ch. |
Mr. Gibson smiled a little sadly as he re-read his words. "Poor Jeanie," he said aloud. And then he chose out an envelope, enclosed the fervid love-letter, and the above prescription; sealed it with his own sharply-cut seal-ring, R. G., in old English letters, and then paused over the address.
Mr. Gibson smiled a bit sadly as he reread his words. "Poor Jeanie," he said out loud. Then he picked an envelope, put the passionate love letter and the prescription inside, sealed it with his sharply cut seal ring, R. G., in old English letters, and then hesitated over the address.
"He'll not like Master Coxe outside; no need to put him to unnecessary shame." So the direction on the envelope was—
"He won't like Master Coxe being outside; there's no reason to make him feel ashamed for no reason." So the direction on the envelope was—
Edward Coxe, Esq. |
Then Mr. Gibson applied himself to the professional business which had brought him home so opportunely and unexpectedly, and afterwards he went back through the garden to the stables; and just as he had mounted his horse, he said to the stable-man,—"Oh! by the way, here's a letter for Mr. Coxe. Don't send it through the women; take it round yourself to the surgery-door, and do it at once."
Then Mr. Gibson focused on the professional matter that had brought him home so conveniently and unexpectedly, and afterward he walked back through the garden to the stables. Just as he got on his horse, he said to the stableman, "Oh! By the way, here’s a letter for Mr. Coxe. Don’t send it through the women; take it to the surgery door yourself, and do it right away."
The slight smile upon his face, as he rode out of the gates, died away as soon as he found himself in the solitude of the lanes. He slackened his speed, and began to think. It was very awkward, he considered, to have a motherless girl growing up into womanhood in the same house with two young men, even if she only met them at meal-times; and all the intercourse they had with each other was merely the utterance of such words as, "May I help you to potatoes?" or, as Mr. Wynne would persevere in saying, "May I assist you to potatoes?"—a form of speech which grated daily more and more upon Mr. Gibson's ears. Yet Mr. Coxe, the offender in this affair which had just occurred, had to remain for three years more as a pupil in Mr. Gibson's family. He should be the very last of the race. Still there were three years to be got over; and if this stupid passionate calf-love of his lasted, what was to be done? Sooner or later Molly would become aware of it. The contingencies of the affair were so excessively disagreeable to contemplate, that Mr. Gibson determined to dismiss the subject from his mind by a good strong effort. He put his horse to a gallop, and found that the violent shaking over the lanes—paved as they were with round stones, which had been dislocated by the wear and tear of a hundred years—was the very best thing for the spirits, if not for the bones. He made a long round that afternoon, and came back to his home imagining that the worst was over, and that Mr. Coxe would have taken the hint conveyed in the prescription. All that would be needed was to find a safe place for the unfortunate Bethia, who had displayed such a daring aptitude for intrigue. But Mr. Gibson reckoned without his host. It was the habit of the young men to come in to tea with the family in the dining-room, to swallow two cups, munch their bread or toast, and then disappear. This night Mr. Gibson watched their countenances furtively from under his long eye-lashes, while he tried against his wont to keep up a dégagé manner, and a brisk conversation on general subjects. He saw that Mr. Wynne was on the point of breaking out into laughter, and that red-haired, red-faced Mr. Coxe was redder and fiercer than ever, while his whole aspect and ways betrayed indignation and anger.
The slight smile on his face faded as soon as he found himself alone on the roads. He slowed down and began to think. He considered it quite awkward to have a motherless girl growing up with two young men in the same house, even if their interactions were limited to phrases like, "Can I help you with the potatoes?" or, as Mr. Wynne stubbornly insisted on saying, "May I assist you with the potatoes?"—a way of speaking that grated more and more on Mr. Gibson's ears each day. However, Mr. Coxe, the one causing the current issue, had three more years to stay as a student in Mr. Gibson's household. He would be the very last of his kind. Still, there were three years to get through, and if this foolish, passionate infatuation of his continued, what could be done? Sooner or later, Molly would find out. The potential consequences of the situation were so uncomfortably unpleasant to think about that Mr. Gibson decided to push the thoughts from his mind with a strong effort. He spurred his horse into a gallop and discovered that the jarring ride over the uneven stone-paved roads—worn down over a hundred years—was the best remedy for his spirits, if not for his bones. He took a long detour that afternoon, returning home with the belief that the worst was behind him and that Mr. Coxe had taken the hint from his earlier actions. All that was needed was to find a safe place for the unfortunate Bethia, who had shown a remarkable knack for intrigue. But Mr. Gibson had underestimated the situation. The young men usually came in for tea with the family in the dining room, downing two cups, nibbling on their bread or toast, and then disappearing. That evening, Mr. Gibson watched their faces discreetly from beneath his long eyelashes, attempting against his nature to maintain a casual demeanor and lively conversation about general topics. He noticed that Mr. Wynne was about to burst into laughter, while red-haired, red-faced Mr. Coxe appeared angrier and more furious than ever, his entire demeanor revealing indignation and anger.
"He will have it, will he?" thought Mr. Gibson to himself; and he girded up his loins for the battle. He did not follow Molly and Miss Eyre into the drawing-room as he usually did. He remained where he was, pretending to read the newspaper, while Bethia, her face swelled up with crying, and with an aggrieved and offended aspect, removed the tea-things. Not five minutes after the room was cleared, came the expected tap at the door. "May I speak to you, sir?" said the invisible Mr. Coxe, from outside.
"He’ll have it, will he?" Mr. Gibson thought to himself, bracing himself for the confrontation. He didn’t follow Molly and Miss Eyre into the drawing room like he usually did. Instead, he stayed where he was, pretending to read the newspaper, while Bethia, her face puffy from crying and looking hurt and upset, cleared away the tea things. Not five minutes after the room was cleared, there was the expected knock at the door. "May I speak to you, sir?" the unseen Mr. Coxe asked from outside.
"To be sure. Come in, Mr. Coxe. I was rather wanting to talk to you about that bill of Corbyn's. Pray sit down."
"Sure thing. Come in, Mr. Coxe. I wanted to talk to you about that bill from Corbyn. Please have a seat."
"It is about nothing of that kind, sir, that I wanted—that I wished—No, thank you—I would rather not sit down." He, accordingly, stood in offended dignity. "It is about that letter, sir—that letter with the insulting prescription, sir."
"It’s not about any of that, sir, that I wanted—that I wished—No, thank you—I’d rather not sit down." He stood there, clearly offended. "It's about that letter, sir—that letter with the insulting prescription, sir."
"Insulting prescription! I am surprised at such a word being applied to any prescription of mine—though, to be sure, patients are sometimes offended at being told the nature of their illnesses; and, I daresay, they may take offence at the medicines which their cases require."
"Insulting prescription! I'm shocked that anyone would call any of my prescriptions that—though, I admit, patients can get upset when they learn about their conditions; and, I guess, they might be offended by the treatments their situations need."
"I did not ask you to prescribe for me."
"I didn't ask you to prescribe anything for me."
"Oh, ho! Then you were the Master Coxe who sent the note through Bethia! Let me tell you it has cost her her place, and was a very silly letter into the bargain."
"Oh, so you’re the Master Coxe who sent the note with Bethia! I should tell you that it got her in trouble, and it was a really foolish letter to boot."
"It was not the conduct of a gentleman, sir, to intercept it, and to open it, and to read words never addressed to you, sir."
"It wasn't the behavior of a gentleman, sir, to intercept it, open it, and read words that were never meant for you, sir."
"No!" said Mr. Gibson, with a slight twinkle in his eye and a curl on his lips, not unnoticed by the indignant Mr. Coxe. "I believe I was once considered tolerably good-looking, and I daresay I was as great a coxcomb as any one at twenty; but I don't think that even then I should quite have believed that all those pretty compliments were addressed to myself."
"No!" said Mr. Gibson, with a slight sparkle in his eye and a grin on his lips, which didn’t go unnoticed by the irritated Mr. Coxe. "I think I was once seen as fairly good-looking, and I probably was as much of a vain person as anyone at twenty; but I don’t believe that even back then I would have completely thought that all those flattering compliments were meant for me."
"It was not the conduct of a gentleman, sir," repeated Mr. Coxe, stammering over his words—he was going on to say something more, when Mr. Gibson broke in,—
"It wasn't the behavior of a gentleman, sir," repeated Mr. Coxe, stumbling over his words—he was about to say more when Mr. Gibson interrupted.
"And let me tell you, young man," replied Mr. Gibson, with a sudden sternness in his voice, "that what you have done is only excusable in consideration of your youth and extreme ignorance of what are considered the laws of domestic honour. I receive you into my house as a member of my family—you induce one of my servants—corrupting her with a bribe, I have no doubt—"
"And let me tell you, young man," Mr. Gibson said, suddenly sounding stern, "what you've done is only forgivable because of your youth and complete lack of understanding of what the rules of household honor are. I took you into my home as part of my family—you persuade one of my servants—corrupting her with a bribe, I have no doubt—"
"Indeed, sir! I never gave her a penny."
"Of course, sir! I never gave her a dime."
"Then you ought to have done. You should always pay those who do your dirty work."
"Then you should have done that. You should always pay people who handle your dirty work."
"Just now, sir, you called it corrupting with a bribe," muttered Mr. Coxe.
"Just now, sir, you called it corrupting with a bribe," mumbled Mr. Coxe.
Mr. Gibson took no notice of this speech, but went on—"Inducing one of my servants to risk her place, without offering her the slightest equivalent, by begging her to convey a letter clandestinely to my daughter—a mere child."
Mr. Gibson ignored this talk and continued, "He’s got one of my employees to put her job on the line, without giving her anything in return, just by asking her to secretly deliver a letter to my daughter—a mere kid."
"Miss Gibson, sir, is nearly seventeen! I heard you say so only the other day," said Mr. Coxe, aged twenty. Again Mr. Gibson ignored the remark.
"Miss Gibson, sir, is almost seventeen! I heard you mention it just the other day," said Mr. Coxe, who was twenty. Once again, Mr. Gibson ignored the comment.
"A letter which you were unwilling to have seen by her father, who had tacitly trusted to your honour, by receiving you as an inmate of his house. Your father's son—I know Major Coxe well—ought to have come to me, and have said out openly, 'Mr. Gibson, I love—or I fancy that I love—your daughter; I do not think it right to conceal this from you, although unable to earn a penny; and with no prospect of an unassisted livelihood, even for myself, for several years, I shall not say a word about my feelings—or fancied feelings—to the very young lady herself.' That is what your father's son ought to have said; if, indeed, a couple of grains of reticent silence wouldn't have been better still."
"A letter you didn't want her father to see, who had quietly trusted your honor by letting you stay in his house. As your father's son—I know Major Coxe well—you should have come to me and said directly, 'Mr. Gibson, I love—or I think I love—your daughter; I don't think it's right to keep this from you, even though I can't earn a penny and have no chance of supporting myself for several years. However, I won't say anything about my feelings—or what I think are feelings—to the very young lady herself.' That’s what your father's son should have said; though honestly, a bit of careful silence might have been even better."
"And if I had said it, sir—perhaps I ought to have said it," said Mr. Coxe, in a hurry of anxiety, "what would have been your answer? Would you have sanctioned my passion, sir?"
"And if I had said it, sir—maybe I should have said it," Mr. Coxe said, anxiously, "what would you have said? Would you have approved of my feelings, sir?"
"I would have said, most probably—I will not be certain of my exact words in a suppositional case—that you were a young fool, but not a dishonourable young fool, and I should have told you not to let your thoughts run upon a calf-love until you had magnified it into a passion. And I daresay, to make up for the mortification I should have given you, I might have prescribed your joining the Hollingford Cricket Club, and set you at liberty as often as I could on the Saturday afternoons. As it is, I must write to your father's agent in London, and ask him to remove you out of my household, repaying the premium, of course, which will enable you to start afresh in some other doctor's surgery."
"I probably would have said—you know, I can't remember my exact words in a hypothetical situation—that you were a young fool, but not an untrustworthy one, and I would have advised you not to get caught up in a crush until you turned it into something real. And to make up for the embarrassment I would have caused you, I might have suggested that you join the Hollingford Cricket Club and given you as much freedom as possible on Saturday afternoons. But now, I have to write to your father's agent in London and ask him to take you out of my care, and of course, I'll refund the fee so you can start over at another doctor's office."
"It will so grieve my father," said Mr. Coxe, startled into dismay, if not repentance.
"It will really upset my father," said Mr. Coxe, shocked into anxiety, if not regret.
"I see no other course open. It will give Major Coxe some trouble (I shall take care that he is at no extra expense), but what I think will grieve him the most is the betrayal of confidence; for I trusted you, Edward, like a son of my own!" There was something in Mr. Gibson's voice when he spoke seriously, especially when he referred to any feeling of his own—he who so rarely betrayed what was passing in his heart—that was irresistible to most people: the change from joking and sarcasm to tender gravity.
"I see no other option. It will be a hassle for Major Coxe (I’ll make sure he doesn’t incur any extra costs), but what I think will hurt him the most is the sense of betrayal; because I trusted you, Edward, like my own son!" There was something in Mr. Gibson's voice when he spoke seriously, especially when he mentioned any of his feelings—he who so rarely revealed what was going on in his heart—that was compelling to most people: the shift from joking and sarcasm to genuine seriousness.
Mr. Coxe hung his head a little, and meditated.
Mr. Coxe lowered his head slightly and thought.
"I do love Miss Gibson," said he, at length. "Who could help it?"
"I really love Miss Gibson," he said finally. "Who could not?"
"Mr. Wynne, I hope!" said Mr. Gibson.
"Mr. Wynne, I hope!" said Mr. Gibson.
"His heart is pre-engaged," replied Mr. Coxe. "Mine was free as air till I saw her."
"His heart is already taken," replied Mr. Coxe. "Mine was completely open until I saw her."
"Would it tend to cure your—well! passion, we'll say—if she wore blue spectacles at meal-times? I observe you dwell much on the beauty of her eyes."
"Would it help with your—let's call it—passion, if she wore blue glasses during meals? I notice you focus a lot on the beauty of her eyes."
"You are ridiculing my feelings, Mr. Gibson. Do you forget that you yourself were young once?"
"You’re making fun of my feelings, Mr. Gibson. Do you forget that you were young once too?"
"Poor Jeanie" rose before Mr. Gibson's eyes; and he felt a little rebuked.
"Poor Jeanie" appeared in Mr. Gibson's mind, and he felt a bit guilty.
"Come, Mr. Coxe, let us see if we can't make a bargain," said he, after a minute or so of silence. "You have done a really wrong thing, and I hope you are convinced of it in your heart, or that you will be when the heat of this discussion is over, and you come to think a little about it. But I won't lose all respect for your father's son. If you will give me your word that, as long as you remain a member of my family—pupil, apprentice, what you will—you won't again try to disclose your passion—you see I am careful to take your view of what I should call a mere fancy—by word or writing, looks or acts, in any manner whatever, to my daughter, or to talk about your feelings to any one else, you shall remain here. If you cannot give me your word, I must follow out the course I named, and write to your father's agent."
"Come on, Mr. Coxe, let’s try to work out a deal," he said after a moment of silence. "You’ve really messed up, and I hope you know that deep down, or that you will once the tension from this conversation fades and you start to reflect on it. But I won't completely lose respect for your father's son. If you promise me that, as long as you stay a part of my family—whether as a student or apprentice, however you see it—you won't try to express your feelings again— I'm being careful to frame this as what I think is just a passing infatuation—through words, writing, looks, actions, or in any way at all, to my daughter, or discuss your feelings with anyone else, you can stay here. If you can't promise me that, I'll have to go through with what I said and write to your father's agent."
Mr. Coxe stood irresolute.
Mr. Coxe stood uncertain.
"Mr. Wynne knows all I feel for Miss Gibson, sir. He and I have no secrets from each other."
"Mr. Wynne knows how I feel about Miss Gibson, sir. He and I have no secrets between us."
"Well, I suppose he must represent the reeds. You know the story of King Midas's barber, who found out that his royal master had the ears of an ass beneath his hyacinthine curls. So the barber, in default of a Mr. Wynne, went to the reeds that grew on the shores of a neighbouring lake, and whispered to them, 'King Midas has the ears of an ass.' But he repeated it so often that the reeds learnt the words, and kept on saying them all day long, till at last the secret was no secret at all. If you keep on telling your tale to Mr. Wynne, are you sure he won't repeat it in his turn?"
"Well, I guess he must represent the reeds. You know the story about King Midas's barber, who discovered that his royal master had the ears of a donkey hidden beneath his beautiful curls. So the barber, since he didn't have a Mr. Wynne, went to the reeds that grew by a nearby lake and whispered to them, 'King Midas has the ears of a donkey.' But he repeated it so many times that the reeds learned the words and kept saying them all day long, until eventually, the secret was no longer a secret. If you keep telling your story to Mr. Wynne, are you sure he won’t share it in return?"
"If I pledge my word as a gentleman, sir, I pledge it for Mr. Wynne as well."
"If I give my word as a gentleman, sir, I give it for Mr. Wynne too."
"I suppose I must run the risk. But remember how soon a young girl's name may be breathed upon, and sullied. Molly has no mother, and for that very reason she ought to move among you all, as unharmed as Una herself."
"I guess I have to take the risk. But remember how quickly a young girl's name can be tarnished. Molly doesn't have a mother, and for that reason, she should be able to interact with all of you, as untouched as Una herself."
"Mr. Gibson, if you wish it, I'll swear it on the Bible," cried the excitable young man.
"Mr. Gibson, if you want me to, I’ll swear it on the Bible," shouted the enthusiastic young man.
"Nonsense. As if your word, if it's worth anything, wasn't enough! We'll shake hands upon it, if you like."
"Nonsense. As if your word, if it means anything, isn’t enough! We can shake on it, if you want."
Mr. Coxe came forward eagerly, and almost squeezed Mr. Gibson's ring into his finger.
Mr. Coxe stepped forward eagerly and almost squeezed Mr. Gibson's ring onto his finger.
As he was leaving the room, he said, a little uneasily, "May I give Bethia a crown-piece?"
As he was leaving the room, he said, a bit awkwardly, "Can I give Bethia a crown?"
"No, indeed! Leave Bethia to me. I hope you won't say another word to her while she's here. I shall see that she gets a respectable place when she goes away."
"No, absolutely not! Leave Bethia to me. I hope you won’t say anything else to her while she's here. I’ll make sure she has a respectable place when she leaves."
Then Mr. Gibson rang for his horse, and went out on the last visits of the day. He used to reckon that he rode the world around in the course of the year. There were not many surgeons in the county who had so wide a range of practice as he; he went to lonely cottages on the borders of great commons; to farm-houses at the end of narrow country lanes that led to nowhere else, and were overshadowed by the elms and beeches overhead. He attended all the gentry within a circle of fifteen miles round Hollingford; and was the appointed doctor to the still greater families who went up to London every February—as the fashion then was—and returned to their acres in the early weeks of July. He was, of necessity, a great deal from home, and on this soft and pleasant summer evening he felt the absence as a great evil. He was startled at discovering that his little one was growing fast into a woman, and already the passive object of some of the strong interests that affect a woman's life; and he—her mother as well as her father—so much away that he could not guard her as he would have wished. The end of his cogitations was that ride to Hamley the next morning, when he proposed to allow his daughter to accept Mrs. Hamley's last invitation—an invitation that had been declined at the time.
Then Mr. Gibson called for his horse and headed out for the last visits of the day. He used to think that he rode all over the world throughout the year. There weren't many surgeons in the county with such a broad practice as he had; he visited isolated cottages on the edges of vast commons, and farmhouses at the end of narrow country lanes that went nowhere else, shaded by the elms and beeches overhead. He attended to all the local gentry within a fifteen-mile radius of Hollingford and was the designated doctor for the even larger families who went to London every February—as was the custom at the time—and returned to their estates in early July. He was often away from home, and on this soft and pleasant summer evening, he felt that absence as a significant burden. He was surprised to realize that his little girl was rapidly growing up into a woman and was already the passive focus of some of the strong interests that impact a woman's life; and he—her mother as well as her father—was away so much that he couldn't protect her as he would have liked. The conclusion of his thoughts was that he would ride to Hamley the next morning, where he planned to let his daughter accept Mrs. Hamley's recent invitation—an invitation that had been turned down earlier.
"You may quote against me the proverb, 'He that will not when he may, when he will he shall have nay.' And I shall have no reason to complain," he had said.
"You can use the saying against me, 'If you don’t take the chance when you can, you won’t get it when you want.' And I won't have any reason to complain," he had said.
But Mrs. Hamley was only too much charmed with the prospect of having a young girl for a visitor; one whom it would not be a trouble to entertain; who might be sent out to ramble in the gardens, or told to read when the invalid was too much fatigued for conversation; and yet one whose youth and freshness would bring a charm, like a waft of sweet summer air, into her lonely shut-up life. Nothing could be pleasanter, and so Molly's visit to Hamley was easily settled.
But Mrs. Hamley was absolutely delighted at the idea of having a young girl visit; one who wouldn’t be a hassle to entertain, who could be sent out to wander in the gardens, or told to read when the sick person was too tired for conversation; and yet one whose youth and freshness would bring a charm, like a breath of sweet summer air, into her lonely, confined life. Nothing could be nicer, so Molly's visit to Hamley was quickly arranged.
"I only wish Osborne and Roger had been at home," said Mrs. Hamley, in her low soft voice. "She may find it dull, being with old people, like the squire and me, from morning till night. When can she come? the darling—I am beginning to love her already!"
"I just wish Osborne and Roger had been home," Mrs. Hamley said softly. "She might find it boring hanging out with us old folks, like the squire and me, all day long. When can she come? The darling—I’m starting to love her already!"
Mr. Gibson was very glad in his heart that the young men of the house were out of the way; he did not want his little Molly to be passing from Scylla to Charybdis; and, as he afterwards scoffed at himself for thinking, he had got an idea that all young men were wolves in chase of his one ewe-lamb.
Mr. Gibson was really relieved that the young men in the house were out of the way; he didn’t want his little Molly to be caught between a rock and a hard place; and, as he later joked about himself for thinking this, he believed that all young men were just wolves after his one precious lamb.
"She knows nothing of the pleasure in store for her," he replied; "and I'm sure I don't know what feminine preparations she may think necessary, or how long they may take. You'll remember she is a little ignoramus, and has had no … training in etiquette; our ways at home are rather rough for a girl, I'm afraid. But I know I could not send her into a kinder atmosphere than this."
"She has no idea of the joy awaiting her," he said. "And I'm not sure what preparations she might think she needs, or how long they might take. Remember, she's a bit clueless and hasn't had any training in etiquette; our home environment is pretty rough for a girl, I’m afraid. But I know I couldn't send her into a more caring atmosphere than this."
When the Squire heard from his wife of Mr. Gibson's proposal, he was as much pleased as she at the prospect of their youthful visitor; for he was a man of a hearty hospitality, when his pride did not interfere with its gratification; and he was delighted to think of his sick wife's having such an agreeable companion in her hours of loneliness. After a while he said,—"It's as well the lads are at Cambridge; we might have been having a love-affair if they had been at home."
When the Squire heard from his wife about Mr. Gibson's proposal, he was just as pleased as she was at the idea of their young visitor; he was a man known for his warm hospitality, as long as his pride didn’t get in the way. He was happy to think that his sick wife would have such a nice companion during her lonely hours. After a bit, he said, “It’s good the boys are at Cambridge; we could have been dealing with a love affair if they were home.”
"Well—and if we had?" asked his more romantic wife.
"Well—what if we did?" asked his more romantic wife.
"It wouldn't have done," said the Squire, decidedly. "Osborne will have had a first-rate education—as good as any man in the county—he'll have this property, and he's a Hamley of Hamley; not a family in the shire is as old as we are, or settled on their ground so well. Osborne may marry where he likes. If Lord Hollingford had a daughter, Osborne would have been as good a match as she could have required. It would never do for him to fall in love with Gibson's daughter—I shouldn't allow it. So it's as well he's out of the way."
"It wouldn't have worked," said the Squire firmly. "Osborne will have received an excellent education—just as good as anyone in the county—he'll inherit this property, and he’s a Hamley from Hamley; there isn’t a family in the shire as old as we are, or as well-established. Osborne can marry whoever he wants. If Lord Hollingford had a daughter, Osborne would have been as good a match as she could hope for. It just wouldn’t be right for him to fall in love with Gibson's daughter—I wouldn’t allow it. So it’s a good thing he’s not around."
"Well! perhaps Osborne had better look higher."
"Well! maybe Osborne should aim higher."
"Perhaps! I say he must." The Squire brought his hand down with a thump on the table, near him, which made his wife's heart beat hard for some minutes. "And as for Roger," he continued, unconscious of the flutter he had put her into, "he'll have to make his own way, and earn his own bread; and, I'm afraid, he's not getting on very brilliantly at Cambridge. He mustn't think of falling in love for these ten years."
"Maybe! I say he has to." The Squire slammed his hand on the table hard, which made his wife's heart race for a few minutes. "And as for Roger," he continued, unaware of the upset he had caused her, "he'll have to find his own path and earn his own living; and, I'm afraid, he's not doing very well at Cambridge. He shouldn't even think about falling in love for the next ten years."
"Unless he marries a fortune," said Mrs. Hamley, more by way of concealing her palpitation than anything else; for she was unworldly and romantic to a fault.
"Unless he marries someone wealthy," said Mrs. Hamley, more to hide her nervousness than anything else; because she was naive and overly romantic.
"No son of mine shall ever marry a wife who is richer than himself with my good will," said the Squire again, with emphasis, but without a thump.
"No son of mine will ever marry a wife who is richer than he is, with my approval," said the Squire again, stressing his point, but without hitting the table.
"I don't say but what if Roger is gaining five hundred a year by the time he's thirty, he shall not choose a wife with ten thousand pounds down; but I do say, if a boy of mine, with only two hundred a year—which is all Roger will have from us, and that not for a long time—goes and marries a woman with fifty thousand to her portion, I'll disown him—it would be just disgusting."
"I’m not saying that if Roger is making five hundred a year by the time he’s thirty, he shouldn’t choose a wife with ten thousand pounds upfront; but I do believe that if my son, with only two hundred a year—which is all Roger will get from us, and not for a while—goes and marries a woman with a dowry of fifty thousand, I’ll disown him—it would be absolutely disgusting."
"Not if they loved each other, and their whole happiness depended upon their marrying each other," put in Mrs. Hamley, mildly.
"Not if they loved each other and their entire happiness relied on marrying each other," Mrs. Hamley added gently.
"Pooh! away with love! Nay, my dear, we loved each other so dearly we should never have been happy with any one else; but that's a different thing. People aren't like what they were when we were young. All the love nowadays is just silly fancy, and sentimental romance, as far as I can see."
"Ugh! Enough with love! No, my dear, we cared for each other so much that we could never have been happy with anyone else; but that's not the point. People aren't the same as they were when we were young. All the love these days seems like silly infatuation and emotional drama, as far as I can tell."
Mr. Gibson thought that he had settled everything about Molly's going to Hamley before he spoke to her about it, which he did not do, until the morning of the day on which Mrs. Hamley expected her. Then he said,—"By the way, Molly! you're to go to Hamley this afternoon; Mrs. Hamley wants you to go to her for a week or two, and it suits me capitally that you should accept her invitation just now."
Mr. Gibson thought he had everything figured out regarding Molly's trip to Hamley before he mentioned it to her, which he didn't do until the morning of the day that Mrs. Hamley was expecting her. Then he said, "Hey, Molly! You're going to Hamley this afternoon; Mrs. Hamley wants you to stay with her for a week or two, and it works perfectly for me that you accept her invitation right now."
"Go to Hamley! This afternoon! Papa, you've got some odd reason at the back of your head—some mystery, or something. Please, tell me what it is. Go to Hamley for a week or two! Why, I never was from home before this without you in all my life."
"Go to Hamley! This afternoon! Dad, you've got some strange reason in your mind—some secret, or something. Please, just tell me what it is. Go to Hamley for a week or two! I've never been away from home without you in my entire life."
"Perhaps not. I don't think you ever walked before you put your feet to the ground. Everything must have a beginning."
"Maybe not. I don’t think you ever walked before you set your feet on the ground. Everything has to start somewhere."
"It has something to do with that letter that was directed to me, but that you took out of my hands before I could even see the writing of the direction." She fixed her grey eyes on her father's face, as if she meant to pluck out his secret.
"It has something to do with that letter addressed to me, but you took it out of my hands before I could even see who it was from." She locked her gray eyes on her father's face, as if she intended to uncover his secret.
He only smiled and said,—"You're a witch, goosey!"
He just smiled and said, "You're a witch, silly!"
"Then it had! But if it was a note from Mrs. Hamley, why might I not see it? I have been wondering if you had some plan in your head ever since that day.—Thursday, wasn't it? You've gone about in a kind of thoughtful, perplexed way, just like a conspirator. Tell me, papa"—coming up to him, and putting on a beseeching manner—"why mightn't I see that note? and why am I to go to Hamley all on a sudden?"
"Then it did! But if it was a note from Mrs. Hamley, why can't I see it? I've been wondering if you had some plan in mind ever since that day.—Thursday, right? You've been acting all thoughtful and confused, like you're up to something. Tell me, Dad"—walking over to him and adopting a pleading tone—"why can't I see that note? And why am I suddenly supposed to go to Hamley?"
"Don't you like to go? Would you rather not?" If she had said that she did not want to go he would have been rather pleased than otherwise, although it would have put him into a great perplexity; but he was beginning to dread the parting from her even for so short a time. However, she replied directly,—
"Don't you want to go? Wouldn't you prefer not to?" If she had said she didn't want to go, he would have been more pleased than upset, even though it would have confused him a lot; but he was starting to worry about being apart from her, even for a little while. However, she replied directly—
"I don't know—I daresay I shall like it when I have thought a little more about it. Just now I'm so startled by the suddenness of the affair, I haven't considered whether I shall like it or not. I shan't like going away from you, I know. Why am I to go, papa?"
"I don't know—I guess I'll probably like it once I've had some time to think it over. Right now, I'm just so shocked by how suddenly this is happening that I haven't really thought about whether I'll like it or not. I know I won't like leaving you. Why do I have to go, Dad?"
"There are three old ladies sitting somewhere, and thinking about you just at this very minute; one has a distaff in her hands, and is spinning a thread; she has come to a knot in it, and is puzzled what to do with it. Her sister has a great pair of scissors in her hands, and wants—as she always does, when any difficulty arises in the smoothness of the thread—to cut it off short; but the third, who has the most head of the three, plans how to undo the knot; and she it is who has decided that you are to go to Hamley. The others are quite convinced by her arguments; so, as the Fates have decreed that this visit is to be paid, there is nothing left for you and me but to submit."
"There are three old ladies sitting somewhere right now, thinking about you; one is holding a distaff and spinning thread. She's hit a knot in it and isn't sure what to do. Her sister, holding a big pair of scissors, wants to cut it off short—just like she always does when there's a snag in the thread. But the third sister, who is the smartest of the three, is figuring out how to untie the knot. She's the one who decided that you’re going to Hamley. The others totally agree with her. So, since the Fates have decided you’re taking this trip, all we can do is go along with it."
"That's all nonsense, papa, and you're only making me more curious to find out this hidden reason."
"That's all just silly, Dad, and you're only making me more curious to discover this hidden reason."
Mr. Gibson changed his tone, and spoke gravely now. "There is a reason, Molly, and one which I do not wish to give. When I tell you this much, I expect you to be an honourable girl, and to try and not even conjecture what the reason may be,—much less endeavour to put little discoveries together till very likely you may find out what I want to conceal."
Mr. Gibson changed his tone and spoke seriously now. "There’s a reason, Molly, and it’s one I don’t want to share. When I tell you this much, I expect you to be an honorable girl and to try not to even guess what the reason might be—let alone try to piece together little hints until you possibly figure out what I want to keep hidden."
"Papa, I won't even think about your reason again. But then I shall have to plague you with another question. I've had no new gown this year, and I've outgrown all my last summer frocks. I've only three that I can wear at all. Betty was saying only yesterday that I ought to have some more."
"Papa, I won’t even consider your reasoning again. But I have to bother you with another question. I haven’t gotten a new dress this year, and I’ve outgrown all my summer clothes from last year. I only have three that I can actually wear. Betty was saying just yesterday that I should get some more."
"That'll do that you have got on, won't it? It's a very pretty colour."
"That'll work with what you're wearing, right? It's a really nice color."
"Yes; but, papa" (holding it out as if she was going to dance), "it's made of woollen, and so hot and heavy; and every day it will be getting warmer."
"Yes, but, dad" (holding it out as if she was about to dance), "it's made of wool, and it's so hot and heavy; and every day it will just keep getting warmer."
"I wish girls could dress like boys," said Mr. Gibson, with a little impatience. "How is a man to know when his daughter wants clothes? and how is he to rig her out when he finds it out, just when she needs them most and hasn't got them?"
"I wish girls could dress like boys," Mr. Gibson said, a bit impatiently. "How is a guy supposed to know when his daughter wants clothes? And how is he supposed to get them for her when he finally finds out, right when she needs them the most and doesn’t have any?"
"Ah, that's the question!" said Molly, in some despair.
"Ah, that's the question!" Molly said, feeling a bit hopeless.
"Can't you go to Miss Rose's? Doesn't she keep ready-made frocks for girls of your age?"
"Can’t you go to Miss Rose’s? Doesn’t she have ready-made dresses for girls your age?"
"Miss Rose! I never had anything from her in my life," replied Molly, in some surprise; for Miss Rose was the great dressmaker and milliner of the little town, and hitherto Betty had made the girl's frocks.
"Miss Rose! I've never had anything from her in my life," replied Molly, sounding a bit surprised; because Miss Rose was the top dressmaker and milliner in the little town, and until now Betty had been the one making the girl's dresses.
"Well, but it seems people consider you as a young woman now, and so I suppose you must run up milliners' bills like the rest of your kind. Not that you're to get anything anywhere that you can't pay for down in ready money. Here's a ten-pound note; go to Miss Rose's, or Miss anybody's, and get what you want at once. The Hamley carriage is to come for you at two, and anything that isn't quite ready, can easily be sent by their cart on Saturday, when some of their people always come to market. Nay, don't thank me! I don't want to have the money spent, and I don't want you to go and leave me: I shall miss you, I know; it's only hard necessity that drives me to send you a-visiting, and to throw away ten pounds on your clothes. There, go away; you're a plague, and I mean to leave off loving you as fast as I can."
"Well, it seems like people see you as a young woman now, so I guess you must be racking up bills with the milliners like everyone else. Not that you can get anything without paying for it in cash. Here’s a ten-pound note; go to Miss Rose’s, or anyone else's, and get what you want right away. The Hamley carriage will pick you up at two, and anything that’s not quite ready can easily be sent by their cart on Saturday when some of their people always come to the market. Oh, don’t thank me! I don’t want the money spent, and I don’t want you to go and leave me: I know I’ll miss you; it’s only out of sheer necessity that I’m sending you visiting and spending ten pounds on your clothes. There, go on; you’re a nuisance, and I plan to stop loving you as quickly as I can."
"Papa!" holding up her finger as in warning, "you're getting mysterious again; and though my honourableness is very strong, I won't promise that it shall not yield to my curiosity if you go on hinting at untold secrets."
"Papa!" she said, raising her finger in a warning. "You're being mysterious again, and even though I have a strong sense of honor, I can't promise I won't give in to my curiosity if you keep hinting at secrets."
"Go away and spend your ten pounds. What did I give it you for but to keep you quiet?"
"Go ahead and spend your ten pounds. What did I give it to you for if not to keep you quiet?"
Miss Rose's ready-made resources and Molly's taste combined, did not arrive at a very great success. She bought a lilac print, because it would wash, and would be cool and pleasant for the mornings; and this Betty could make at home before Saturday. And for high-days and holidays—by which was understood afternoons and Sundays—Miss Rose persuaded her to order a gay-coloured flimsy plaid silk, which she assured her was quite the latest fashion in London, and which Molly thought would please her father's Scotch blood. But when he saw the scrap which she had brought home as a pattern, he cried out that the plaid belonged to no clan in existence, and that Molly ought to have known this by instinct. It was too late to change it, however, for Miss Rose had promised to cut the dress out as soon as Molly left her shop.
Miss Rose's ready-made resources and Molly's taste together didn't really add up to much success. She bought a lilac print because it could be washed and would be cool and comfortable for the mornings; Betty could make it at home before Saturday. For special occasions—meaning afternoons and Sundays—Miss Rose convinced her to order a brightly colored flimsy plaid silk, which she claimed was the latest fashion in London, and Molly thought it would appeal to her father's Scottish roots. However, when he saw the swatch she brought home as a sample, he exclaimed that the plaid was from no clan that existed and that Molly should have known this instinctively. But it was too late to change it, as Miss Rose had promised to cut the dress out as soon as Molly left her shop.
Mr. Gibson had hung about the town all the morning instead of going away on his usual distant rides. He passed his daughter once or twice in the street, but he did not cross over when he was on the opposite side—only gave her a look or a nod, and went on his way, scolding himself for his weakness in feeling so much pain at the thought of her absence for a fortnight or so.
Mr. Gibson had stayed in town all morning instead of going on his usual long rides. He saw his daughter a couple of times in the street, but he didn’t cross over to her side—he just gave her a glance or a nod and kept walking, scolding himself for being weak and feeling so much pain at the thought of her being gone for a couple of weeks.
"And, after all," thought he, "I'm only where I was when she comes back; at least, if that foolish fellow goes on with his imaginating fancy. She'll have to come back some time, and if he chooses to imagine himself constant, there's still the devil to pay." Presently he began to hum the air out of the "Beggar's Opera"—
"And, after all," he thought, "I'm exactly where I was when she returns; at least, if that fool keeps indulging in his daydreams. She'll have to come back eventually, and if he wants to believe he's loyal, there's still a price to pay." Soon, he started to hum the tune from the "Beggar's Opera
I wonder any man alive Should ever rear a daughter. |
CHAPTER VI.
A VISIT TO THE HAMLEYS.
Of course the news of Miss Gibson's approaching departure had spread through the household before the one o'clock dinner-time came; and Mr. Coxe's dismal countenance was a source of much inward irritation to Mr. Gibson, who kept giving the youth sharp glances of savage reproof for his melancholy face, and want of appetite; which he trotted out, with a good deal of sad ostentation; all of which was lost upon Molly, who was too full of her own personal concerns to have any thought or observation to spare from them, excepting once or twice when she thought of the many days that must pass over before she should again sit down to dinner with her father.
Of course, the news of Miss Gibson's upcoming departure had spread through the household before one o'clock dinner time; and Mr. Coxe's gloomy face was a source of much inner irritation for Mr. Gibson, who kept shooting the young man sharp looks of fierce disapproval for his sad expression and lack of appetite, which he displayed with a good deal of miserable show. All of this went unnoticed by Molly, who was too wrapped up in her own personal issues to pay attention, except once or twice when she thought about the many days that would pass before she could sit down to dinner with her father again.
When she named this to him after the meal was over, and they were sitting together in the drawing-room, waiting for the sound of the wheels of the Hamley carriage, he laughed, and said,—
When she mentioned this to him after they finished eating and were sitting together in the living room, waiting for the sound of the Hamley carriage, he laughed and said,—
"I'm coming over to-morrow to see Mrs. Hamley; and I daresay I shall dine at their lunch; so you won't have to wait long before you've the treat of seeing the wild beast feed."
"I'm coming over tomorrow to see Mrs. Hamley, and I expect I'll have lunch with them, so you won't have to wait long before you get the chance to see the wild beast get fed."
Then they heard the approaching carriage.
Then they heard the carriage coming closer.
"Oh, papa," said Molly, catching at his hand, "I do so wish I wasn't going, now that the time is come."
"Oh, Dad," said Molly, grabbing his hand, "I really wish I wasn't going, now that the time has come."
"Nonsense; don't let us have any sentiment. Have you got your keys? that's more to the purpose."
"Nonsense; let’s not get all sentimental. Do you have your keys? That’s what really matters."
Yes; she had got her keys, and her purse; and her little box was put up on the seat by the coachman; and her father handed her in; the door was shut, and she drove away in solitary grandeur, looking back and kissing her hand to her father, who stood at the gate, in spite of his dislike of sentiment, as long as the carriage could be seen. Then he turned into the surgery, and found Mr. Coxe had had his watching too, and had, indeed, remained at the window gazing, moonstruck, at the empty road, up which the young lady had disappeared. Mr. Gibson startled him from his reverie by a sharp, almost venomous, speech about some small neglect of duty a day or two before. That night Mr. Gibson insisted on passing by the bedside of a poor girl whose parents were worn-out by many wakeful anxious nights succeeding to hard-working days.
Yes; she had her keys and her purse, and her little box was placed on the seat by the driver. Her father helped her inside, the door was closed, and she drove away in solitary dignity, looking back and blowing a kiss to her father, who stood at the gate, despite his dislike for sentiment, as long as the carriage was in sight. Then he went back to the surgery and found Mr. Coxe had also been watching and had, in fact, stayed at the window, gazing dreamily at the empty road where the young lady had vanished. Mr. Gibson broke his trance with a sharp, almost spiteful comment about some minor lapse in duty a day or two earlier. That night, Mr. Gibson insisted on stopping by the bedside of a poor girl whose parents were exhausted from many sleepless, anxious nights following long days of hard work.
Molly cried a little, but checked her tears as soon as she remembered how annoyed her father would have been at the sight of them. It was very pleasant driving quickly along in the luxurious carriage, through the pretty green lanes, with dog-roses and honeysuckles so plentiful and rathe in the hedges, that she once or twice was tempted to ask the coachman to stop till she had gathered a nosegay. She began to dread the end of her little journey of seven miles; the only drawback to which was, that her silk was not a true clan-tartan, and a little uncertainty as to Miss Rose's punctuality. At length they came to a village; straggling cottages lined the road, an old church stood on a kind of green, with the public-house close by it; there was a great tree, with a bench all round the trunk, midway between the church gates and the little inn. The wooden stocks were close to the gates. Molly had long passed the limit of her rides, but she knew this must be the village of Hamley, and that they must be very near to the hall.
Molly cried a little but stopped herself as soon as she remembered how annoyed her father would be to see her tears. It was really nice riding along quickly in the fancy carriage, through the beautiful green lanes, with dog-roses and honeysuckles so abundant and early blooming in the hedges that she was tempted a couple of times to ask the coachman to stop so she could pick some flowers. She started to dread the end of her little seven-mile journey; the only downside was that her silk wasn’t a true clan tartan, and she was a bit uncertain about Miss Rose's punctuality. Eventually, they arrived at a village; scattered cottages lined the road, an old church stood on a sort of green, with a pub nearby; there was a large tree with a bench around the trunk, situated between the church gates and the little inn. The wooden stocks were close to the gates. Molly had long since passed the limit of her rides, but she recognized this must be the village of Hamley, and they had to be very close to the hall.
They swung in at the gates of the park in a few minutes, and drove up through meadow-grass, ripening for hay,—it was no grand aristocratic deer-park this—to the old red-brick hall; not three hundred yards from the high-road. There had been no footman sent with the carriage, but a respectable servant stood at the door, even before they drew up, ready to receive the expected visitor, and take her into the drawing-room where his mistress lay awaiting her.
They pulled into the park gates in just a few minutes and drove up through the grassy meadow, ready for hay—this wasn’t some fancy aristocratic deer park—to the old red-brick hall, not more than three hundred yards from the main road. No footman had been sent with the carriage, but a respectable servant stood at the door, even before they arrived, ready to greet the expected visitor and take her into the drawing room where his mistress was waiting for her.
Mrs. Hamley rose from her sofa to give Molly a gentle welcome; she kept the girl's hand in hers after she had finished speaking, looking into her face, as if studying it, and unconscious of the faint blush she called up on the otherwise colourless cheeks.
Mrs. Hamley got up from her sofa to warmly welcome Molly; she held the girl's hand in hers after finishing her greeting, gazing into her face as if trying to understand it, completely unaware of the slight blush she brought to the otherwise pale cheeks.
"I think we shall be great friends," said she, at length. "I like your face, and I am always guided by first impressions. Give me a kiss, my dear."
"I think we're going to be great friends," she said finally. "I like your face, and I always go with my first impressions. Give me a kiss, my dear."
It was far easier to be active than passive during this process of "swearing eternal friendship," and Molly willingly kissed the sweet pale face held up to her.
It was much easier to be active than passive during this moment of "swearing eternal friendship," and Molly happily kissed the sweet, pale face that was presented to her.
"I meant to have gone and fetched you myself; but the heat oppresses me, and I did not feel up to the exertion. I hope you had a pleasant drive?"
"I meant to go and get you myself, but the heat is overwhelming, and I just didn't have the energy for it. I hope you had a nice drive?"
"Very," said Molly, with shy conciseness.
"Very," said Molly, with a shy tone.
"And now I will take you to your room; I have had you put close to me; I thought you would like it better, even though it was a smaller room than the other."
"And now I'll show you to your room; I had them place it close to mine because I thought you'd prefer it, even if it's a smaller room than the other."
She rose languidly, and wrapping her light shawl round her yet elegant figure, led the way upstairs. Molly's bedroom opened out of Mrs. Hamley's private sitting-room; on the other side of which was her own bedroom. She showed Molly this easy means of communication, and then, telling her visitor she would await her in the sitting-room, she closed the door, and Molly was left at leisure to make acquaintance with her surroundings.
She got up slowly, wrapping her light shawl around her still graceful figure, and led the way upstairs. Molly's bedroom opened off Mrs. Hamley's private sitting room, which had Mrs. Hamley's own bedroom on the other side. She pointed out this convenient way to communicate, and then told her guest she would wait for her in the sitting room. She closed the door, leaving Molly free to explore her new surroundings.
First of all, she went to the window to see what was to be seen. A flower-garden right below; a meadow of ripe grass just beyond, changing colour in long sweeps, as the soft wind blew over it; great old forest-trees a little on one side; and, beyond them again, to be seen only by standing very close to the side of the window-sill, or by putting her head out, if the window was open, the silver shimmer of a mere, about a quarter of a mile off. On the opposite side to the trees and the mere, the look-out was bounded by the old walls and high-peaked roofs of the extensive farm-buildings. The deliciousness of the early summer silence was only broken by the song of the birds, and the nearer hum of bees. Listening to these sounds, which enhanced the exquisite sense of stillness, and puzzling out objects obscured by distance or shadow, Molly forgot herself, and was suddenly startled into a sense of the present by a sound of voices in the next room—some servant or other speaking to Mrs. Hamley. Molly hurried to unpack her box, and arrange her few clothes in the pretty old-fashioned chest of drawers, which was to serve her as dressing-table as well. All the furniture in the room was as old-fashioned and as well-preserved as it could be. The chintz curtains were Indian calico of the last century—the colours almost washed out, but the stuff itself exquisitely clean. There was a little strip of bedside carpeting, but the wooden flooring, thus liberally displayed, was of finely-grained oak, so firmly joined, plank to plank, that no grain of dust could make its way into the interstices. There were none of the luxuries of modern days; no writing-table, or sofa, or pier-glass. In one corner of the walls was a bracket, holding an Indian jar filled with pot-pourri; and that and the climbing honeysuckle outside the open window scented the room more exquisitely than any toilette perfumes. Molly laid out her white gown (of last year's date and size) upon the bed, ready for the (to her new) operation of dressing for dinner, and having arranged her hair and dress, and taken out her company worsted-work, she opened the door softly, and saw Mrs. Hamley lying on the sofa.
First, she went to the window to see what was out there. Below, there was a flower garden; beyond that, a meadow of ripe grass that changed color in waves as the gentle wind blew across it; large, old trees were slightly to one side; and further back, visible only by standing close to the window sill or leaning out if the window was open, was the glimmer of a pond about a quarter of a mile away. On the opposite side of the trees and the pond, the view was limited by the old walls and high-peaked roofs of the large farm buildings. The peaceful early summer silence was only interrupted by the songs of birds and the nearby hum of bees. As she listened to these sounds, enhancing the beautiful sense of stillness and trying to figure out objects hidden by distance or shadow, Molly lost track of herself and was suddenly jolted back to the moment by voices in the next room—some servant talking to Mrs. Hamley. Molly quickly went to unpack her box and organize her few clothes in the lovely old-fashioned chest of drawers, which would also serve as her dressing table. All the furniture in the room was just as quaint and well-preserved as it could be. The chintz curtains were made of Indian calico from the last century—the colors nearly faded, but the fabric itself was beautifully clean. There was a small strip of carpet by the bed, but the wooden floor, fully exposed, was made of finely-grained oak, so tightly joined that not a speck of dust could get into the gaps. There were none of the luxuries of modern times; no writing desk, sofa, or pier glass. In one corner, there was a bracket holding an Indian jar filled with potpourri; that and the climbing honeysuckle outside the open window filled the room with a more exquisite scent than any modern perfumes. Molly laid out her white dress (from last year and her size) on the bed, ready for the new experience of getting dressed for dinner, and after fixing her hair and putting on her dress, she took out her embroidery project, opened the door quietly, and saw Mrs. Hamley lounging on the sofa.
"Shall we stay up here, my dear? I think it is pleasanter than down below; and then I shall not have to come upstairs again at dressing-time."
"Should we stay up here, my dear? I think it's nicer than downstairs; plus, I won’t have to come upstairs again when it’s time to get dressed."
"I shall like it very much," replied Molly.
"I'll really like it," replied Molly.
"Ah! you've got your sewing, like a good girl," said Mrs. Hamley. "Now, I don't sew much. I live alone a great deal. You see, both my boys are at Cambridge, and the squire is out of doors all day long—so I have almost forgotten how to sew. I read a great deal. Do you like reading?"
"Ah! You've got your sewing, like a good girl," said Mrs. Hamley. "Well, I don't sew much anymore. I spend a lot of time alone. Both my boys are at Cambridge, and the squire is outside all day—so I've almost forgotten how to sew. I read a lot. Do you enjoy reading?"
"It depends upon the kind of book," said Molly. "I'm afraid I don't like 'steady reading,' as papa calls it."
"It depends on the kind of book," Molly said. "I'm afraid I'm not into 'steady reading,' as Dad calls it."
"But you like poetry!" said Mrs. Hamley, almost interrupting Molly. "I was sure you did, from your face. Have you read this last poem of Mrs. Hemans? Shall I read it aloud to you?"
"But you like poetry!" Mrs. Hamley said, almost cutting off Molly. "I knew you did just by looking at your face. Have you read this latest poem by Mrs. Hemans? Should I read it out loud for you?"
So she began. Molly was not so much absorbed in listening but that she could glance round the room. The character of the furniture was much the same as in her own. Old-fashioned, of handsome material, and faultlessly clean, the age and the foreign appearance of it gave an aspect of comfort and picturesqueness to the whole apartment. On the walls there hung some crayon sketches—portraits. She thought she could make out that one of them was a likeness of Mrs. Hamley, in her beautiful youth. And then she became interested in the poem, and dropped her work, and listened in a manner that was after Mrs. Hamley's own heart. When the reading of the poem was ended, Mrs. Hamley replied to some of Molly's words of admiration, by saying:
So she started. Molly wasn’t just focused on listening; she also glanced around the room. The furniture looked a lot like her own—old-fashioned, made of nice material, and perfectly clean. Its age and foreign style gave the entire place a cozy, charming vibe. On the walls, there were some crayon sketches—portraits. She thought one of them resembled Mrs. Hamley in her beautiful youth. Then Molly became really interested in the poem, set aside her work, and listened in a way that would have pleased Mrs. Hamley. When the poem was finished, Mrs. Hamley responded to some of Molly's words of admiration by saying:
"Ah! I think I must read you some of Osborne's poetry some day; under seal of secrecy, remember; but I really fancy they are almost as good as Mrs. Hemans'."
"Ah! I think I should share some of Osborne's poetry with you one day; remember, it’s a secret; but I actually believe they’re nearly as good as Mrs. Hemans’."
To be nearly as good as Mrs. Hemans' was saying as much to the young ladies of that day, as saying that poetry is nearly as good as Tennyson's would be in this. Molly looked up with eager interest.
To say that it's almost as good as Mrs. Hemans' was like telling the young women of that time that poetry is almost as good as Tennyson's would be today. Molly looked up with eager interest.
"Mr. Osborne Hamley? Does your son write poetry?"
"Mr. Osborne Hamley? Does your son write poems?"
"Yes. I really think I may say he is a poet. He is a very brilliant, clever young man, and he quite hopes to get a fellowship at Trinity. He says he is sure to be high up among the wranglers, and that he expects to get one of the Chancellor's medals. That is his likeness—the one hanging against the wall behind you."
"Yes. I truly believe I can say he is a poet. He’s a very bright, clever young man, and he really hopes to get a fellowship at Trinity. He’s confident he’ll be ranked high among the wranglers and expects to win one of the Chancellor's medals. That’s his portrait—the one hanging on the wall behind you."
Molly turned round, and saw one of the crayon sketches—representing two boys, in the most youthful kind of jackets and trousers, and falling collars. The elder was sitting down, reading intently. The younger was standing by him, and evidently trying to call the attention of the reader off to some object out of doors—out of the window of the very room in which they were sitting, as Molly discovered when she began to recognize the articles of furniture faintly indicated in the picture.
Molly turned around and saw one of the crayon drawings—showing two boys in the most youthful jackets and pants, with falling collars. The older boy was sitting, reading intently. The younger boy was standing next to him, clearly trying to get the reader's attention away from the book and toward something outside—out the window of the very room they were sitting in, as Molly realized when she began to recognize the faintly indicated furniture in the picture.
"I like their faces!" said Molly. "I suppose it is so long ago now, that I may speak of their likenesses to you as if they were somebody else; may not I?"
"I like their faces!" said Molly. "I guess it's been so long now that I can talk about what they looked like to you as if they were someone else; can’t I?"
"Certainly," said Mrs. Hamley, as soon as she understood what Molly meant. "Tell me just what you think of them, my dear; it will amuse me to compare your impressions with what they really are."
"Of course," said Mrs. Hamley, as soon as she realized what Molly meant. "Tell me what you really think of them, my dear; it will be interesting to see how your impressions match up with who they actually are."
"Oh! but I did not mean to guess at their characters. I could not do it; and it would be impertinent, if I could. I can only speak about their faces as I see them in the picture."
"Oh! but I didn’t intend to speculate about their personalities. I couldn’t do it, and it would be rude if I could. I can only talk about their faces as I see them in the picture."
"Well! tell me what you think of them!"
"Well! Let me know what you think of them!"
"The eldest—the reading boy—is very beautiful; but I can't quite make out his face yet, because his head is down, and I can't see the eyes. That is the Mr. Osborne Hamley who writes poetry."
"The oldest boy—the one who’s reading—is really handsome; but I can’t quite see his face yet because his head is down, so I can’t see his eyes. That’s Mr. Osborne Hamley, the one who writes poetry."
"Yes. He is not quite so handsome now; but he was a beautiful boy. Roger was never to be compared with him."
"Yes. He's not as handsome now, but he was a beautiful boy. Roger could never be compared to him."
"No; he is not handsome. And yet I like his face. I can see his eyes. They are grave and solemn-looking; but all the rest of his face is rather merry than otherwise. It looks too steady and sober, too good a face, to go tempting his brother to leave his lesson."
"No; he isn’t handsome. Yet I like his face. I can see his eyes. They look serious and thoughtful, but the rest of his face is quite cheerful. It seems too calm and serious, too good of a face, to be encouraging his brother to skip his lesson."
"Ah! but it was not a lesson. I remember the painter, Mr. Green, once saw Osborne reading some poetry, while Roger was trying to persuade him to come out and have a ride in the hay-cart—that was the 'motive' of the picture, to speak artistically. Roger is not much of a reader; at least, he doesn't care for poetry, and books of romance, or sentiment. He is so fond of natural history; and that takes him, like the squire, a great deal out of doors; and when he is in, he is always reading scientific books that bear upon his pursuits. He is a good, steady fellow, though, and gives us great satisfaction, but he is not likely to have such a brilliant career as Osborne."
"Ah! but it wasn't a lesson. I remember the painter, Mr. Green, once saw Osborne reading some poetry while Roger was trying to convince him to come out for a ride in the hay-cart—that was the 'motive' of the picture, to put it artistically. Roger isn't much of a reader; at least, he doesn't care for poetry, romance novels, or anything sentimental. He's really into natural history, which keeps him, like the squire, outdoors a lot. And when he's inside, he's always reading scientific books related to his interests. He's a good, reliable guy, though, and he makes us very happy, but he's not likely to have as bright a future as Osborne."
Molly tried to find out in the picture the characteristics of the two boys, as they were now explained to her by their mother; and in questions and answers about the various drawings hung round the room the time passed away until the dressing-bell rang for the six o'clock dinner.
Molly tried to discern the traits of the two boys from the picture, as their mother had just described them to her. Through a series of questions and answers about the different drawings displayed around the room, the time flew by until the dressing bell rang for the six o'clock dinner.
Molly was rather dismayed by the offers of the maid whom Mrs. Hamley had sent to assist her. "I am afraid they expect me to be very smart," she kept thinking to herself. "If they do, they'll be disappointed; that's all. But I wish my plaid silk gown had been ready."
Molly was pretty upset by the offers from the maid that Mrs. Hamley had sent to help her. "I’m worried they expect me to look really put together," she kept thinking. "If they do, they'll be let down; that's all. But I wish my plaid silk dress had been ready."
She looked at herself in the glass with some anxiety, for the first time in her life. She saw a slight, lean figure, promising to be tall; a complexion browner than cream-coloured, although in a year or two it might have that tint; plentiful curly black hair, tied up in a bunch behind with a rose-coloured ribbon; long, almond-shaped, soft gray eyes, shaded both above and below by curling black eyelashes.
She looked at herself in the mirror with some anxiety for the first time in her life. She saw a slim, lean figure, likely to be tall; a complexion darker than cream, though in a year or two it might have that shade; thick, curly black hair tied up in a bunch with a pink ribbon; long, almond-shaped, soft gray eyes, framed both above and below by curling black eyelashes.
"I don't think I am pretty," thought Molly, as she turned away from the glass; "and yet I'm not sure." She would have been sure, if, instead of inspecting herself with such solemnity, she had smiled her own sweet merry smile, and called out the gleam of her teeth, and the charm of her dimples.
"I don't think I'm pretty," Molly thought as she turned away from the mirror. "But I'm not sure." She would have been certain if, instead of examining herself so seriously, she had smiled her own sweet, cheerful smile, showcasing her sparkling teeth and the charm of her dimples.
She found her way downstairs into the drawing-room in good time; she could look about her, and learn how to feel at home in her new quarters. The room was forty-feet long or so, fitted up with yellow satin at some distant period; high spindle-legged chairs and pembroke-tables abounded. The carpet was of the same date as the curtains, and was thread-bare in many places; and in others was covered with drugget. Stands of plants, great jars of flowers, old Indian china and cabinets gave the room the pleasant aspect it certainly had. And to add to it, there were five high, long windows on one side of the room, all opening to the prettiest bit of flower-garden in the grounds—or what was considered as such—brilliant-coloured, geometrically-shaped beds, converging to a sun-dial in the midst. The Squire came in abruptly, and in his morning dress; he stood at the door, as if surprised at the white-robed stranger in possession of his hearth. Then, suddenly remembering himself, but not before Molly had begun to feel very hot, he said—
She made her way downstairs to the living room just in time; she could look around and figure out how to get comfortable in her new space. The room was about forty feet long, decorated with yellow satin from some time long ago; there were plenty of high spindle-legged chairs and Pembroke tables. The carpet matched the curtains and was worn thin in many spots, while other areas were covered with a cheap fabric. Potted plants, large vases of flowers, old Indian china, and cabinets gave the room a definitely welcoming vibe. To top it off, there were five tall, long windows on one side of the room, all opening to a beautiful little flower garden outside—or at least that’s what people said—filled with bright, geometric flower beds leading to a sundial in the center. The Squire entered abruptly, dressed in morning attire; he paused at the door, seemingly surprised to see the white-robed stranger occupying his home. Then, suddenly remembering himself, but not before Molly started to feel quite warm, he said—
"Why, God bless my soul, I'd quite forgotten you; you're Miss Gibson, Gibson's daughter, aren't you? Come to pay us a visit? I'm sure I'm very glad to see you, my dear."
"Wow, I completely forgot about you; you're Miss Gibson, Gibson's daughter, right? Have you come to visit us? I'm really glad to see you, my dear."
By this time, they had met in the middle of the room, and he was shaking Molly's hand with vehement friendliness, intended to make up for his not knowing her at first.
By this point, they had met in the center of the room, and he was shaking Molly's hand with strong friendliness, meant to make up for not knowing her at first.
"I must go and dress, though," said he, looking at his soiled gaiters. "Madam likes it. It's one of her fine London ways, and she's broken me into it at last. Very good plan, though, and quite right to make oneself fit for ladies' society. Does your father dress for dinner, Miss Gibson?" He did not stay to wait for her answer, but hastened away to perform his toilette.
"I need to go get dressed, though," he said, looking at his dirty gaiters. "Madam likes it. It's one of her fancy London habits, and she's finally got me used to it. It's a smart idea, really, to make sure you're presentable for ladies' company. Does your father dress for dinner, Miss Gibson?" He didn't wait for her answer but hurried off to take care of his grooming.
They dined at a small table in a great large room. There were so few articles of furniture in it, and the apartment itself was so vast, that Molly longed for the snugness of the home dining-room; nay, it is to be feared that, before the stately dinner at Hamley Hall came to an end, she even regretted the crowded chairs and tables, the hurry of eating, the quick unformal manner in which everybody seemed to finish their meal as fast as possible, and to return to the work they had left. She tried to think that at six o'clock all the business of the day was ended, and that people might linger if they chose. She measured the distance from the sideboard to the table with her eye, and made allowances for the men who had to carry things backwards and forwards; but, all the same, this dinner appeared to her a wearisome business, prolonged because the Squire liked it, for Mrs. Hamley seemed tired out. She ate even less than Molly, and sent for fan and smelling-bottle to amuse herself with, until at length the table-cloth was cleared away, and the dessert was put upon a mahogany table, polished like a looking-glass.
They had dinner at a small table in a huge room. There was so little furniture in it, and the space was so expansive, that Molly missed the coziness of her dining room at home; indeed, by the time the elegant dinner at Hamley Hall was over, she even found herself wishing for the cramped chairs and tables, the rush of eating, and the casual way everyone seemed to finish their meal as quickly as possible to get back to their work. She tried to remind herself that by six o'clock all the day's business was done, and people could take their time if they wanted. She visually measured the distance from the sideboard to the table and considered the men who had to keep carrying things back and forth; but still, this dinner felt to her like a tiring affair, stretching on because the Squire enjoyed it, while Mrs. Hamley looked worn out. She ate even less than Molly and called for a fan and a smelling bottle to entertain herself with, until finally the tablecloth was taken away, and dessert was placed on a mahogany table that shone like a mirror.
The Squire had hitherto been too busy to talk, except about the immediate concerns of the table, and one or two of the greatest breaks to the usual monotony of his days; a monotony in which he delighted, but which sometimes became oppressive to his wife. Now, however, peeling his orange, he turned to Molly—
The Squire had been too busy to chat, except about the immediate issues at the table and a couple of the biggest disruptions to the usual dullness of his days; a routine he enjoyed, but which sometimes felt overwhelming to his wife. Now, as he peeled his orange, he turned to Molly—
"To-morrow you'll have to do this for me, Miss Gibson."
"Tomorrow you'll have to do this for me, Miss Gibson."
"Shall I? I'll do it to-day, if you like, sir."
"Should I? I'll do it today, if that's okay with you, sir."
"No; to-day I shall treat you as a visitor, with all proper ceremony. To-morrow I shall send you errands, and call you by your Christian name."
"No; today I will treat you like a guest, with all the proper respect. Tomorrow, I’ll send you on errands and call you by your first name."
"I shall like that," said Molly.
"I would like that," said Molly.
"I was wanting to call you something less formal than Miss Gibson," said Mrs. Hamley.
"I wanted to call you something less formal than Miss Gibson," said Mrs. Hamley.
"My name is Molly. It is an old-fashioned name, and I was christened Mary. But papa likes Molly."
"My name is Molly. It's an old-fashioned name, and I was given the name Mary. But my dad prefers Molly."
"That's right. Keep to the good old fashions, my dear."
"That's right. Stick to the classic ways, my dear."
"Well, I must say I think Mary is prettier than Molly, and quite as old a name, too," said Mrs. Hamley.
"Well, I have to say I think Mary is prettier than Molly, and it's quite an old name as well," said Mrs. Hamley.
"I think it was," said Molly, lowering her voice, and dropping her eyes, "because mamma was Mary, and I was called Molly while she lived."
"I think it was," said Molly, lowering her voice and looking down, "because mom was Mary, and I was called Molly while she was alive."
"Ah, poor thing," said the squire, not perceiving his wife's signs to change the subject, "I remember how sorry every one was when she died; no one thought she was delicate, she had such a fresh colour, till all at once she popped off, as one may say."
"Ah, poor thing," said the squire, not noticing his wife's cues to switch topics, "I remember how sad everyone was when she passed away; no one thought she was fragile, she had such a healthy appearance, until suddenly she was gone, so to speak."
"It must have been a terrible blow to your father," said Mrs. Hamley, seeing that Molly did not know what to answer.
"It must have been a huge shock for your dad," said Mrs. Hamley, noticing that Molly didn't know how to respond.
"Ay, ay. It came so sudden, so soon after they were married."
"Yeah, it happened so fast, right after they got married."
"I thought it was nearly four years," said Molly.
"I thought it had been almost four years," said Molly.
"And four years is soon—is a short time to a couple who look to spending their lifetime together. Every one thought Gibson would have married again."
"And four years is quick—it’s a short time for a couple who plan to spend their lives together. Everyone thought Gibson would have married again."
"Hush," said Mrs. Hamley, seeing in Molly's eyes and change of colour how completely this was a new idea to her. But the squire was not so easily stopped.
"Hush," said Mrs. Hamley, noticing the surprise in Molly's eyes and the way her color changed, realizing how completely this was a new idea to her. But the squire was not so easily deterred.
"Well—I'd perhaps better not have said it, but it's the truth; they did. He's not likely to marry now, so one may say it out. Why, your father is past forty, isn't he?"
"Well—I probably shouldn't have said that, but it's the truth; they did. He's not likely to get married now, so I can say it. So, your dad is over forty, right?"
"Forty-three. I don't believe he ever thought of marrying again," said Molly, recurring to the idea, as one does to that of danger which has passed by, without one's being aware of it.
"Forty-three. I don't think he ever considered marrying again," said Molly, returning to the thought, like one does when reflecting on a danger that has passed without one realizing it.
"No! I don't believe he did, my dear. He looks to me just like a man who would be constant to the memory of his wife. You must not mind what the squire says."
"No! I don't think he did, my dear. He seems like a man who would stay loyal to the memory of his wife. You shouldn't pay attention to what the squire says."
"Ah! you'd better go away, if you're going to teach Miss Gibson such treason as that against the master of the house."
"Ah! you should leave if you're going to teach Miss Gibson such betrayal against the head of the house."
Molly went into the drawing-room with Mrs. Hamley, but her thoughts did not change with the room. She could not help dwelling on the danger which she fancied she had escaped, and was astonished at her own stupidity at never having imagined such a possibility as her father's second marriage. She felt that she was answering Mrs. Hamley's remarks in a very unsatisfactory manner.
Molly walked into the living room with Mrs. Hamley, but her thoughts didn’t shift with the change in scenery. She couldn't stop thinking about the danger she believed she had avoided and was surprised at her own foolishness for never considering the possibility of her father's remarrying. She realized she was responding to Mrs. Hamley's comments in a pretty unsatisfactory way.
"There is papa, with the Squire!" she suddenly exclaimed. There they were coming across the flower-garden from the stable-yard, her father switching his boots with his riding whip, in order to make them presentable in Mrs. Hamley's drawing-room. He looked so exactly like his usual self, his home-self, that the seeing him in the flesh was the most efficacious way of dispelling the phantom fears of a second wedding, which were beginning to harass his daughter's mind; and the pleasant conviction that he could not rest till he had come over to see how she was going on in her new home, stole into her heart, although he spoke but little to her, and that little was all in a joking tone. After he had gone away, the Squire undertook to teach her cribbage, and she was happy enough now to give him all her attention. He kept on prattling while they played; sometimes in relation to the cards; at others telling her of small occurrences which he thought might interest her.
“There’s Dad, with the Squire!” she suddenly exclaimed. There they were coming across the flower garden from the stable yard, her father adjusting his boots with his riding whip to make them presentable in Mrs. Hamley’s drawing room. He looked just like his usual self, his home self, so seeing him in person was the best way to chase away the nagging worries about a second wedding that had started to trouble his daughter’s mind. A comforting realization that he wouldn’t rest until he checked in on how she was settling into her new home filled her heart, even though he spoke very little to her, and when he did, it was all in a joking tone. After he left, the Squire took it upon himself to teach her how to play cribbage, and she was happy to give him her full attention. He kept chatting while they played, sometimes about the cards and other times sharing little stories he thought she might find interesting.
"So you don't know my boys, even by sight. I should have thought you would have done, for they're fond enough of riding into Hollingford; and I know Roger has often enough been to borrow books from your father. Roger is a scientific sort of a fellow. Osborne is clever, like his mother. I shouldn't wonder if he published a book some day. You're not counting right, Miss Gibson. Why, I could cheat you as easily as possible." And so on, till the butler came in with a solemn look, placed a large prayer-book before his master, who huddled the cards away in a hurry, as if caught in an incongruous employment; and then the maids and men trooped in to prayers—the windows were still open, and the sounds of the solitary corncrake, and the owl hooting in the trees, mingled with the words spoken. Then to bed; and so ended the day.
"So you don't know my boys, not even by sight. I would have thought you did, since they love riding into Hollingford; and I know Roger has often gone to borrow books from your dad. Roger is the scientific type. Osborne is bright, like his mom. I wouldn't be surprised if he published a book someday. You're not counting correctly, Miss Gibson. Honestly, I could fool you just like that." And so on, until the butler came in with a serious expression, placed a large prayer book in front of his master, who hurriedly tucked the cards away, as if caught doing something inappropriate; then the maids and men came in for prayers—the windows were still open, and the sounds of the solitary corncrake and the owl hooting in the trees mixed with the spoken words. Then off to bed; and that wrapped up the day.
Molly looked out of her chamber window—leaning on the sill, and snuffing up the night odours of the honeysuckle. The soft velvet darkness hid everything that was at any distance from her; although she was as conscious of their presence as if she had seen them.
Molly looked out of her bedroom window—leaning on the sill and inhaling the night scents of the honeysuckle. The soft, velvety darkness concealed everything that was far away from her; even so, she felt their presence as if she could see them.
"I think I shall be very happy here," was in Molly's thoughts, as she turned away at length, and began to prepare for bed. Before long the Squire's words, relating to her father's second marriage, came across her, and spoilt the sweet peace of her final thoughts. "Who could he have married?" she asked herself. "Miss Eyre? Miss Browning? Miss Phœbe? Miss Goodenough?" One by one, each of these was rejected for sufficient reasons. Yet the unsatisfied question rankled in her mind, and darted out of ambush to disturb her dreams.
"I think I’ll be really happy here," Molly thought as she finally turned away and started getting ready for bed. Before long, the Squire’s comments about her father’s second marriage came back to her, ruining the sweet calm of her last thoughts. "Who could he have married?" she wondered. "Miss Eyre? Miss Browning? Miss Phœbe? Miss Goodenough?" She dismissed each one for good reasons. Still, the unanswered question nagged at her and jumped out of the shadows to disrupt her dreams.
Mrs. Hamley did not come down to breakfast; and Molly found out with a little dismay, that the Squire and she were to have it by themselves. On this first morning he put aside his newspapers—one an old established Tory journal, with all the local and county news, which was the most interesting to him; the other the Morning Chronicle, which he called his dose of bitters, and which called out many a strong expression and tolerably pungent oath. To-day, however, he was "on his manners," as he afterwards explained to Molly; and he plunged about, trying to find ground for a conversation. He could talk of his wife and his sons, his estate, and his mode of farming; his tenants, and the mismanagement of the last county election. Molly's interests were her father, Miss Eyre, her garden and pony; in a fainter degree Miss Brownings, the Cumnor Charity School, and the new gown that was to come from Miss Rose's; into the midst of which the one great question, "Who was it that people thought it was possible papa might marry?" kept popping up into her mouth, like a troublesome Jack-in-the-box. For the present, however, the lid was snapped down upon the intruder as often as he showed his head between her teeth. They were very polite to each other during the meal; and it was not a little tiresome to both. When it was ended the Squire withdrew into his study to read the untasted newspapers. It was the custom to call the room in which Squire Hamley kept his coats, boots, and gaiters, his different sticks and favourite spud, his gun and fishing-rods, "the study." There was a bureau in it, and a three-cornered arm-chair, but no books were visible. The greater part of them were kept in a large, musty-smelling room, in an unfrequented part of the house; so unfrequented that the housemaid often neglected to open the window-shutters, which looked into a part of the grounds over-grown with the luxuriant growth of shrubs. Indeed, it was a tradition in the servants' hall that, in the late squire's time—he who had been plucked at college—the library windows had been boarded up to avoid paying the window-tax. And when the "young gentlemen" were at home the housemaid, without a single direction to that effect, was regular in her charge of this room; opened the windows and lighted fires daily, and dusted the handsomely-bound volumes, which were really a very fair collection of the standard literature in the middle of the last century. All the books that had been purchased since that time were held in small book-cases between each two of the drawing-room windows, and in Mrs. Hamley's own sitting-room upstairs. Those in the drawing-room were quite enough to employ Molly; indeed, she was so deep in one of Sir Walter Scott's novels that she jumped as if she had been shot, when an hour or so after breakfast the Squire came to the gravel-path outside one of the windows, and called to ask her if she would like to come out of doors and go about the garden and home-fields with him.
Mrs. Hamley didn't come down for breakfast, and Molly felt a bit disheartened to realize that the Squire and she were having it alone together. On this first morning, he set aside his newspapers—one was an established Tory paper with all the local and county news, which he found most interesting; the other was the Morning Chronicle, which he referred to as his dose of bitters and that elicited many strong comments and quite a few colorful oaths. Today, however, he was "on his best behavior," as he later told Molly, and he fumbled around, trying to find common ground for conversation. He could talk about his wife and his sons, his estate, his farming methods, his tenants, and the mismanagement of the last county election. Molly's concerns were her father, Miss Eyre, her garden, and her pony; to a lesser extent, Miss Brownings, the Cumnor Charity School, and the new dress that was supposed to come from Miss Rose's. In the midst of all this, the one big question, "Who did people think it was possible for Papa to marry?" kept popping into her mind like a pesky jack-in-the-box. For now, though, she kept shutting the lid on that intrusive thought every time it peeked out. They were both very polite to each other during the meal, which became rather tiresome for them both. Once it was over, the Squire retreated to his study to read the untouched newspapers. It was customary to call the room where Squire Hamley kept his coats, boots, gaiters, various sticks, favorite spud, gun, and fishing rods "the study." There was a bureau and a three-cornered armchair, but no books were visible. Most of the books were stored in a large, musty-smelling room in a rarely visited part of the house; so seldom visited that the housemaid often forgot to open the window-shutters, which overlooked a part of the grounds that was overrun with thick shrubs. Indeed, it was a tradition in the servants' hall that, during the late squire's time—who had been expelled from college—the library windows had been boarded up to avoid the window tax. And when the "young gentlemen" were home, the housemaid, without any instruction to do so, regularly took care of this room; she opened the windows, lit fires daily, and dusted the beautifully bound volumes, which were quite a respectable collection of standard literature from the mid-19th century. All the books purchased since then were kept in small bookcases between every two drawing-room windows and in Mrs. Hamley's own sitting room upstairs. The ones in the drawing room were more than enough to keep Molly occupied; in fact, she was so engrossed in one of Sir Walter Scott's novels that she jumped as if she had been shot when, an hour or so after breakfast, the Squire came to the gravel path outside one of the windows and called out to ask if she would like to come outside and stroll around the garden and home fields with him.
"It must be a little dull for you, my girl, all by yourself, with nothing but books to look at, in the mornings here; but you see, madam has a fancy for being quiet in the mornings: she told your father about it, and so did I, but I felt sorry for you all the same, when I saw you sitting on the ground all alone in the drawing-room."
"It must be a bit boring for you, my girl, being all by yourself with nothing but books to look at in the mornings here; but you see, madam likes having peace and quiet in the mornings: she told your father about it, and so did I, but I felt bad for you anyway when I saw you sitting on the floor all alone in the living room."
Molly had been in the very middle of the Bride of Lammermoor, and would gladly have stayed in-doors to finish it, but she felt the squire's kindness all the same. They went in and out of old-fashioned greenhouses, over trim lawns, the Squire unlocked the great walled kitchen-garden, and went about giving directions to gardeners; and all the time Molly followed him like a little dog, her mind quite full of "Ravenswood" and "Lucy Ashton." Presently, every place near the house had been inspected and regulated, and the Squire was more at liberty to give his attention to his companion, as they passed through the little wood that separated the gardens from the adjoining fields. Molly, too, plucked away her thoughts from the seventeenth century; and, somehow or other, that one question, which had so haunted her before, came out of her lips before she was aware—a literal impromptu,—
Molly had been in the middle of the Bride of Lammermoor and would have happily stayed indoors to finish it, but she appreciated the squire's kindness just the same. They moved in and out of old-fashioned greenhouses and across tidy lawns. The squire unlocked the large walled kitchen garden and went around giving directions to the gardeners, while Molly followed him like a little dog, her mind completely occupied with "Ravenswood" and "Lucy Ashton." Soon, every area near the house had been checked and organized, and the squire was free to focus on his companion as they walked through the small wood that separated the gardens from the neighboring fields. Molly, too, shifted her thoughts away from the seventeenth century, and somehow that one question that had troubled her before came out of her mouth without her realizing it—a spontaneous remark—
"Who did people think papa would marry? That time—long ago—soon after mamma died?"
"Who did people think Dad would marry? That time—long ago—soon after Mom died?"
She dropped her voice very soft and low, as she spoke the last words. The Squire turned round upon her, and looked at her face, he knew not why. It was very grave, a little pale, but her steady eyes almost commanded some kind of answer.
She lowered her voice to a very soft and low tone as she spoke her last words. The Squire turned to her and looked at her face, not knowing why. It was very serious, a bit pale, but her steady eyes seemed to demand some kind of response.
"Whew," said he, whistling to gain time; not that he had anything definite to say, for no one had ever had any reason to join Mr. Gibson's name with any known lady: it was only a loose conjecture that had been hazarded on the probabilities—a young widower, with a little girl.
"Whew," he said, whistling to buy some time; not that he had anything specific to say, since no one had ever linked Mr. Gibson's name with any known woman: it was just a loose guess based on the circumstances—a young widower with a little girl.
"I never heard of any one—his name was never coupled with any lady's—'twas only in the nature of things that he should marry again; he may do it yet, for aught I know, and I don't think it would be a bad move either. I told him so, the last time but one he was here."
"I never heard of anyone—his name was never mentioned with any woman's—it just makes sense that he should get married again; he might still do it, for all I know, and I don’t think it would be a bad idea either. I told him that the last time he was here."
"And what did he say?" asked breathless Molly.
"And what did he say?" asked Molly, out of breath.
"Oh: he only smiled and said nothing. You shouldn't take up words so seriously, my dear. Very likely he may never think of marrying again, and if he did, it would be a very good thing both for him and for you!"
"Oh: he just smiled and said nothing. You shouldn't take words so seriously, my dear. It's very possible he might never think about getting married again, and if he did, it would be a great thing for both him and you!"
Molly muttered something, as if to herself, but the Squire might have heard it if he had chosen. As it was, he wisely turned the current of the conversation.
Molly mumbled something, almost to herself, but the Squire could have heard it if he wanted to. Instead, he smartly changed the direction of the conversation.
"Look at that!" he said, as they suddenly came upon the mere, or large pond. There was a small island in the middle of the glassy water, on which grew tall trees, dark Scotch firs in the centre, silvery shimmering willows close to the water's edge. "We must get you punted over there, some of these days. I'm not fond of using the boat at this time of the year, because the young birds are still in the nests among the reeds and water-plants; but we'll go. There are coots and grebes."
"Check that out!" he said, as they suddenly arrived at the pond. In the middle of the calm water was a small island with tall trees: dark Scotch pines in the center and shimmering willows near the water's edge. "We really need to get you over there sometime. I'm not really into using the boat this time of year because the young birds are still in their nests among the reeds and water plants, but we'll go. There are coots and grebes."
"Oh, look, there's a swan!"
"Oh, look, a swan!"
"Yes; there are two pair of them here. And in those trees there's both a rookery and a heronry; the herons ought to be here by now, for they're off to the sea in August, but I've not seen one yet. Stay! isn't that one—that fellow on a stone, with his long neck bent down, looking into the water?"
"Yes; there are two pairs of them here. And in those trees, there's both a rookery and a heronry; the herons should be here by now because they head to the sea in August, but I haven't seen one yet. Wait! Isn't that one—that bird on a stone, with its long neck bent down, looking into the water?"
"Yes! I think so. I have never seen a heron, only pictures of them."
"Yes! I think so. I've never seen a heron, just pictures of them."
"They and the rooks are always at war, which doesn't do for such near neighbours. If both herons leave the nest they are building, the rooks come and tear it to pieces; and once Roger showed me a long straggling fellow of a heron, with a flight of rooks after him, with no friendly purpose in their minds, I'll be bound. Roger knows a deal of natural history, and finds out queer things sometimes. He'd have been off a dozen times during this walk of ours, if he'd been here: his eyes are always wandering about, and see twenty things where I only see one. Why! I've known him bolt into a copse because he saw something fifteen yards off—some plant, maybe, which he'd tell me was very rare, though I should say I'd seen its marrow at every turn in the woods; and, if we came upon such a thing as this," touching a delicate film of a cobweb upon a leaf with his stick, as he spoke, "why, he could tell you what insect or spider made it, and if it lived in rotten fir-wood, or in a cranny of good sound timber, or deep down in the ground, or up in the sky, or anywhere. It's a pity they don't take honours in Natural History at Cambridge. Roger would be safe enough if they did."
"They and the rooks are always in conflict, which isn't ideal for such close neighbors. If both herons leave the nest they're building, the rooks swoop in and destroy it; and once, Roger showed me a tall, awkward heron being chased by a flock of rooks, and I bet they weren't thinking friendly thoughts. Roger knows a lot about natural history and often discovers some unusual things. He would have dashed off a dozen times during our walk if he were here: his eyes are always wandering, seeing twenty things when I can only spot one. I've seen him dart into a thicket because he noticed something fifteen yards away—maybe a plant he claimed was very rare—though I’d argue I’d seen it everywhere in the woods; and if we stumbled upon something like this," he said, touching a fine cobweb on a leaf with his stick, "he could tell you what insect or spider created it, whether it lived in decaying fir-wood or in a crevice of solid timber, or deep underground, or up in the air, or anywhere really. It's a shame they don't offer degrees in Natural History at Cambridge. Roger would definitely excel if they did."
"Mr. Osborne Hamley is very clever, is he not?" Molly asked, timidly.
"Mr. Osborne Hamley is really smart, isn't he?" Molly asked, shyly.
"Oh, yes. Osborne's a bit of a genius. His mother looks for great things from Osborne. I'm rather proud of him myself. He'll get a Trinity fellowship, if they play him fair. As I was saying at the magistrates' meeting yesterday, 'I've got a son who will make a noise at Cambridge, or I'm very much mistaken.' Now, isn't it a queer quip of Nature," continued the squire, turning his honest face towards Molly, as if he was going to impart a new idea to her, "that I, a Hamley of Hamley, straight in descent from nobody knows where—the Heptarchy, they say—What's the date of the Heptarchy?"
"Oh, yes. Osborne's a bit of a genius. His mom expects great things from him. I’m pretty proud of him myself. He’ll get a Trinity fellowship if they treat him right. As I mentioned at the magistrates' meeting yesterday, 'I've got a son who will make a splash at Cambridge, or I'm seriously mistaken.' Now, isn’t it a funny quirk of nature," continued the squire, turning his genuine face towards Molly, as if he was about to share a new thought with her, "that I, a Hamley of Hamley, directly descended from who knows where—the Heptarchy, they say—What’s the date for the Heptarchy?"
"I don't know," said Molly, startled at being thus appealed to.
"I don't know," said Molly, surprised by being asked like that.
"Well! it was some time before King Alfred, because he was the King of all England, you know; but, as I was saying, here am I, of as good and as old a descent as any man in England, and I doubt if a stranger, to look at me, would take me for a gentleman, with my red face, great hands and feet, and thick figure, fourteen stone, and never less than twelve even when I was a young man; and there's Osborne, who takes after his mother, who couldn't tell her great-grandfather from Adam, bless her; and Osborne has a girl's delicate face, and a slight make, and hands and feet as small as a lady's. He takes after madam's side, who, as I said, can't tell who was her grandfather. Now, Roger is like me, a Hamley of Hamley, and no one who sees him in the street will ever think that red-brown, big-boned, clumsy chap is of gentle blood. Yet all those Cumnor people, you make such ado of in Hollingford, are mere muck of yesterday. I was talking to madam the other day about Osborne's marrying a daughter of Lord Hollingford's—that's to say, if he had a daughter—he's only got boys, as it happens; but I'm not sure if I should consent to it. I really am not sure; for you see Osborne will have had a first-rate education, and his family dates from the Heptarchy, while I should be glad to know where the Cumnor folk were in the time of Queen Anne?" He walked on, pondering the question of whether he could have given his consent to this impossible marriage; and after some time, and when Molly had quite forgotten the subject to which he alluded, he broke out with—"No! I'm sure I should have looked higher. So, perhaps, it's as well my Lord Hollingford has only boys."
"Well! It took some time for King Alfred, since he was the King of all England, you know; but, like I was saying, here I am, from as good and as old a family as any man in England, and I bet if a stranger looked at me, they wouldn't think I was a gentleman, with my red face, large hands and feet, and stocky build, weighing fourteen stone, and never less than twelve even when I was younger; and then there's Osborne, who takes after his mother, who couldn’t tell her great-grandfather from Adam, bless her; and Osborne has a delicate face and a slender build, with hands and feet as small as a lady's. He takes after his mother's side, who, like I said, can’t tell who her grandfather was. Now, Roger is like me, a Hamley of Hamley, and no one who sees him on the street would ever think that big, clumsy guy is of noble blood. Yet all those Cumnor people you make such a fuss about in Hollingford are just a bunch of recent nobility. I was talking to madam the other day about Osborne marrying a daughter of Lord Hollingford’s—that is, if he had a daughter—he only has boys, as it turns out; but I’m not sure if I would agree to it. I really am not sure; because you see, Osborne will have had a top-notch education, and his family goes back to the Heptarchy, while I’d like to know where the Cumnor folks were during the time of Queen Anne?" He walked on, thinking about whether he could have agreed to this impossible marriage; and after a while, when Molly had completely forgotten what he was talking about, he exclaimed, "No! I’m sure I would have looked higher. So maybe it’s for the best that Lord Hollingford only has boys."
After a while, he thanked Molly for her companionship, with old-fashioned courtesy; and told her that he thought, by this time, madam would be up and dressed, and glad to have her young visitor with her. He pointed out the deep purple house, with its stone facings, as it was seen at some distance between the trees, and watched her protectingly on her way along the field-paths.
After a bit, he thanked Molly for keeping him company, with a polite, old-school charm; and he mentioned that he figured, by now, she would be up and dressed, and happy to have her young visitor around. He pointed out the deep purple house, with its stone accents, visible from a distance through the trees, and looked out for her as she made her way along the field paths.
"That's a nice girl of Gibson's," quoth he to himself. "But what a tight hold the wench got of the notion of his marrying again! One had need be on one's guard as to what one says before her. To think of her never having thought of the chance of a stepmother. To be sure, a stepmother to a girl is a different thing to a second wife to a man!"
"That's a nice girl of Gibson's," he said to himself. "But she really has a firm grip on the idea of him getting married again! You really need to watch what you say around her. Can you believe she's never considered the possibility of having a stepmother? Of course, a stepmother for a girl is a whole different situation than a second wife for a man!"
CHAPTER VII.
FORESHADOWS OF LOVE PERILS.
f Squire Hamley
had been unable to tell Molly who had ever been
thought of as her father's second wife, fate was all this time
preparing an answer of a pretty positive kind to her wondering
curiosity. But fate is a cunning hussy, and builds up her plans as
imperceptibly as a bird builds her nest; and with much the same kind
of unconsidered trifles. The first "trifle" of an event was the
disturbance which Jenny (Mr. Gibson's cook) chose to make at Bethia's
being dismissed. Bethia was a distant relation and protégée of
Jenny's, and she chose to say it was Mr. Coxe the tempter who ought
to have "been sent packing," not Bethia the tempted, the victim. In
this view there was quite enough plausibility to make Mr. Gibson feel
that he had been rather unjust. He had, however, taken care to
provide Bethia with another situation, to the full as good as that
which she held in his family. Jenny, nevertheless, chose to give
warning; and though Mr. Gibson knew full well from former experience
that her warnings were words, not deeds, he hated the discomfort, the
uncertainty,—the entire disagreeableness of meeting a woman at any
time in his house, who wore a grievance and an injury upon her face
as legibly as Jenny took care to do.
If Squire Hamley couldn't tell Molly who had ever been considered her father's second wife, fate was quietly preparing a pretty clear answer to her curiosity all this time. But fate is a sly trickster, constructing its plans as subtly as a bird builds its nest; and often with similarly insignificant details. The first "detail" of this story was the fuss that Jenny (Mr. Gibson's cook) made when Bethia was let go. Bethia was a distant relative and protégé of Jenny's, and Jenny insisted it was Mr. Coxe the tempter who should have been "shown the door," not Bethia the tempted victim. This argument had enough credibility to make Mr. Gibson feel somewhat unfair. However, he had ensured Bethia had another position that was just as good as her job in his household. Nevertheless, Jenny decided to give her notice; and even though Mr. Gibson knew from past experiences that her warnings were just talk, not action, he couldn’t stand the discomfort, the uncertainty—the whole unpleasantness of having a woman in his house who wore her grievances and injuries as clearly as Jenny made sure to do.
Down into the middle of this small domestic trouble came another, and one of greater consequence. Miss Eyre had gone with her old mother, and her orphan nephews and nieces, to the sea-side, during Molly's absence, which was only intended at first to last for a fortnight. After about ten days of this time had elapsed, Mr. Gibson received a beautifully written, beautifully worded, admirably folded, and most neatly sealed letter from Miss Eyre. Her eldest nephew had fallen ill of scarlet fever, and there was every probability that the younger children would be attacked by the same complaint. It was distressing enough for poor Miss Eyre—this additional expense, this anxiety—the long detention from home which the illness involved. But she said not a word of any inconvenience to herself; she only apologized with humble sincerity for her inability to return at the appointed time to her charge in Mr. Gibson's family; meekly adding, that perhaps it was as well, for Molly had never had the scarlet fever, and even if Miss Eyre had been able to leave the orphan children to return to her employments, it might not have been a safe or a prudent step.
Into the midst of this small domestic issue came another, and one of greater importance. Miss Eyre had gone with her elderly mother and her orphaned nephews and nieces to the seaside while Molly was away, which was originally supposed to be just for two weeks. After about ten days had passed, Mr. Gibson received a beautifully written, well-worded, neatly folded, and perfectly sealed letter from Miss Eyre. Her oldest nephew had gotten sick with scarlet fever, and it was very likely that the younger children would also catch the same illness. It was distressing enough for poor Miss Eyre—this added expense, this worry—the prolonged stay away from home that the illness caused. But she didn't mention any inconvenience to herself; she simply apologized sincerely for her inability to return on time to her responsibilities in Mr. Gibson's household, quietly adding that perhaps it was for the best since Molly had never had scarlet fever, and even if Miss Eyre could have left the orphaned children to go back to work, it might not have been a safe or wise decision.
"To be sure not," said Mr. Gibson, tearing the letter in two, and throwing it into the hearth, where he soon saw it burnt to ashes. "I wish I'd a five-pound house and not a woman within ten miles of me. I might have some peace then." Apparently, he forgot Mr. Coxe's powers of making mischief; but indeed he might have traced that evil back to the unconscious Molly. The martyr-cook's entrance to take away the breakfast things, which she announced by a heavy sigh, roused Mr. Gibson from thought to action.
"Definitely not," said Mr. Gibson, ripping the letter in two and tossing it into the fireplace, where he quickly saw it turn to ashes. "I wish I had a five-pound house and no woman within ten miles of me. Then I might actually have some peace." Clearly, he forgot about Mr. Coxe's knack for causing trouble; in reality, he could have traced that trouble back to the unaware Molly. The entrance of the weary cook to clear away the breakfast dishes, which she signaled with a heavy sigh, snapped Mr. Gibson out of his thoughts and into action.
"Molly must stay a little longer at Hamley," he resolved. "They've often asked for her, and now they'll have enough of her, I think. But I can't have her back here just yet; and so the best I can do for her is to leave her where she is. Mrs. Hamley seems very fond of her, and the child is looking happy, and stronger in health. I'll ride round by Hamley to-day at any rate, and see how the land lies."
"Molly needs to stay a bit longer at Hamley," he decided. "They've asked for her many times, and now I think they'll really appreciate her. But I can't bring her back here just yet, so the best thing I can do for her is to leave her where she is. Mrs. Hamley seems to really care about her, and the kid looks happy and healthier. I'll swing by Hamley today anyway and see how things are going."
He found Mrs. Hamley lying on a sofa placed under the shadow of the great cedar-tree on the lawn. Molly was flitting about her, gardening away under her directions; tying up the long sea-green stalks of bright budded carnations, snipping off dead roses.
He found Mrs. Hamley lying on a sofa in the shade of the big cedar tree on the lawn. Molly was busy around her, gardening according to her instructions; tying up the long sea-green stems of vibrant, budding carnations, trimming off dead roses.
"Oh! here's papa!" she cried out, joyfully, as he rode up to the white paling which separated the trim lawn and trimmer flower-garden from the rough park-like ground in front of the house.
"Oh! here’s Dad!" she exclaimed happily as he rode up to the white fence that separated the neat lawn and even neater flower garden from the more rugged, park-like area in front of the house.
"Come in—come here—through the drawing-room window," said Mrs. Hamley, raising herself on her elbow. "We've got a rose-tree to show you that Molly has budded all by herself. We are both so proud of it."
"Come in—come here—through the drawing-room window," said Mrs. Hamley, propping herself up on her elbow. "We've got a rose bush to show you that Molly has blossomed all on her own. We're both so proud of it."
So Mr. Gibson rode round to the stables, left his horse there, and made his way through the house to the open-air summer-parlour under the cedar-tree, where there were chairs, table, books, and tangled work. Somehow, he rather disliked asking for Molly to prolong her visit; so he determined to swallow his bitter first, and then take the pleasure of the delicious day, the sweet repose, the murmurous, scented air. Molly stood by him, her hand on his shoulder. He sate opposite to Mrs. Hamley.
So Mr. Gibson rode over to the stables, left his horse there, and walked through the house to the outdoor summer lounge under the cedar tree, where there were chairs, a table, books, and scattered work. Somehow, he wasn’t keen on asking Molly to stay longer; so he decided to tough it out first, and then enjoy the lovely day, the peacefulness, and the fragrant, soothing air. Molly stood next to him, her hand on his shoulder. He sat across from Mrs. Hamley.
"I've come here to-day to ask a favour," he began.
"I've come here today to ask for a favor," he started.
"Granted before you name it. Am not I a bold woman?"
"Granted before you name it. Am I not a bold woman?"
He smiled and bowed, but went straight on with his speech.
He smiled and bowed but continued with his speech without skipping a beat.
"Miss Eyre, who has been Molly's governess, I suppose I must call her—for many years, writes to-day to say that one of the little nephews she took with her to Newport while Molly was staying here, has caught the scarlet fever."
"Miss Eyre, who I guess I should call Molly's governess, has written today to inform me that one of the little nephews she brought with her to Newport while Molly was staying here has come down with scarlet fever."
"I guess your request. I make it before you do. I beg for dear little Molly to stay on here. Of course Miss Eyre can't come back to you; and of course Molly must stay here!"
"I understand your request. I’m making it before you do. I really hope dear little Molly stays here. Obviously, Miss Eyre can’t come back to you; and obviously, Molly has to stay here!"
"Thank you; thank you very much. That was my request."
"Thanks; thanks a lot. That was what I asked for."
Molly's hand stole down to his, and nestled in that firm compact grasp.
Molly's hand slipped down to his and nestled in his strong, tight grip.
"Papa!—Mrs. Hamley!—I know you'll both understand me—but mayn't I go home? I am very happy here; but—oh papa! I think I should like to be at home with you best."
"Papa!—Mrs. Hamley!—I know you'll both get me—but can I go home? I'm really happy here; but—oh Papa! I think I’d rather be at home with you."
An uncomfortable suspicion flashed across his mind. He pulled her round, and looked straight and piercingly into her innocent face. Her colour came at his unwonted scrutiny, but her sweet eyes were filled with wonder, rather than with any feeling which he dreaded to find. For an instant he had doubted whether young red-headed Mr. Coxe's love might not have called out a response in his daughter's breast; but he was quite clear now.
An uneasy suspicion crossed his mind. He turned her around and looked directly and intensely into her innocent face. She blushed under his unusual gaze, but her lovely eyes were filled with curiosity, not the feelings he was afraid of discovering. For a moment, he had wondered if the affection of young red-headed Mr. Coxe had stirred something in his daughter; but now, he was certain.
"Molly, you're rude to begin with. I don't know how you're to make your peace with Mrs. Hamley, I'm sure. And in the next place, do you think you're wiser than I am; or that I don't want you at home, if all other things were conformable? Stay where you are, and be thankful."
"Molly, you're rude right from the start. I have no idea how you're going to make things right with Mrs. Hamley, that’s for sure. And by the way, do you think you're smarter than I am, or that I wouldn’t want you at home if everything else lined up? Just stay where you are and be grateful."
Molly knew him well enough to be certain that the prolongation of her visit at Hamley was quite a decided affair in his mind; and then she was smitten with a sense of ingratitude. She left her father, and went to Mrs. Hamley, and bent over her and kissed her; but she did not speak. Mrs. Hamley took hold of her hand, and made room on the sofa for her.
Molly knew him well enough to be certain that extending her visit at Hamley was definitely something he had in mind; and then she was hit with a feeling of ingratitude. She left her father and went to Mrs. Hamley, leaning over to kiss her, but she didn’t say anything. Mrs. Hamley took her hand and made space for her on the sofa.
"I was going to have asked for a longer visit the next time you came, Mr. Gibson. We are such happy friends, are not we, Molly? and now, that this good little nephew of Miss Eyre's—"
"I was planning to ask for a longer visit the next time you came, Mr. Gibson. We are such good friends, aren't we, Molly? And now, that this nice little nephew of Miss Eyre’s—
"I wish he was whipped," said Mr. Gibson.
"I wish he was whipped," said Mr. Gibson.
"—has given us such a capital reason, I shall keep Molly for a real long visitation. You must come over and see us very often. There's a room here for you always, you know; and I don't see why you should not start on your rounds from Hamley every morning, just as well as from Hollingford."
"—has given us such a great reason, I’m going to have Molly stay for a really long visit. You should come over and see us often. There’s always a room for you here, you know; and I don’t see why you couldn’t start your rounds from Hamley every morning, just like you do from Hollingford."
"Thank you. If you hadn't been so kind to my little girl, I might be tempted to say something rude in answer to your last speech."
"Thank you. If you hadn't been so nice to my daughter, I might have felt like saying something rude in response to your last comments."
"Pray say it. You won't be easy till you have given it out, I know."
"Go ahead and say it. You won't feel right until you let it out, I know."
"Mrs. Hamley has found out from whom I get my rudeness," said Molly, triumphantly. "It's an hereditary quality."
"Mrs. Hamley discovered where I get my rudeness," Molly said triumphantly. "It's a hereditary trait."
"I was going to say that proposal of yours that I should sleep at Hamley was just like a woman's idea—all kindness, and no common sense. How in the world would my patients find me out, seven miles from my accustomed place? They'd be sure to send for some other doctor, and I should be ruined in a month."
"I was going to say that suggestion of yours for me to stay at Hamley was just like a woman's idea—all nice intentions, but no practical sense. How would my patients ever find me, seven miles away from where they usually see me? They’d definitely send for another doctor, and I’d be out of business in a month."
"Couldn't they send on here? A messenger costs very little."
"Couldn't they send someone here? A messenger doesn't cost much."
"Fancy old Goody Henbury struggling up to my surgery, groaning at every step, and then being told to just step on seven miles farther! Or take the other end of society:—I don't think my Lady Cumnor's smart groom would thank me for having to ride on to Hamley every time his mistress wants me."
"Imagine old Goody Henbury struggling to my office, groaning with every step, only to be told to walk seven more miles! Then there's the other side of society: I don't think my Lady Cumnor's fancy groom would appreciate having to ride all the way to Hamley every time his mistress needs me."
"Well, well, I submit. I am a woman. Molly, thou art a woman! Go and order some strawberries and cream for this father of yours. Such humble offices fall within the province of women. Strawberries and cream are all kindness and no common sense, for they'll give him a horrid fit of indigestion."
"Well, I admit it. I’m a woman. Molly, you’re a woman! Go and get some strawberries and cream for your dad. These little tasks are meant for women. Strawberries and cream are all about kindness and not much common sense, because they’ll just give him a terrible upset stomach."
"Please speak for yourself, Mrs. Hamley," said Molly, merrily. "I ate—oh, such a great basketful yesterday, and the squire went himself to the dairy and brought out a great bowl of cream, when he found me at my busy work. And I'm as well as ever I was, to-day, and never had a touch of indigestion near me."
"Please speak for yourself, Mrs. Hamley," Molly said cheerfully. "I ate—oh, such a huge basketful yesterday, and the squire himself went to the dairy and brought out a big bowl of cream when he found me busy at work. And I'm feeling as good as ever today, with not a hint of indigestion."
"She's a good girl," said her father, when she had danced out of hearing. The words were not quite an inquiry, he was so certain of his answer. There was a mixture of tenderness and trust in his eyes, as he awaited the reply, which came in a moment.
"She's a good girl," her father said, after she had danced out of earshot. His words weren't really a question; he was so sure of his answer. There was a blend of warmth and trust in his eyes as he waited for the reply, which came shortly after.
"She's a darling. I cannot tell you how fond the Squire and I are of her; both of us. I am so delighted to think she isn't to go away for a long time. The first thing I thought of this morning when I wakened up, was that she would soon have to return to you, unless I could persuade you into leaving her with me a little longer. And now she must stay—oh, two months at least."
"She's amazing. I can’t express how much the Squire and I both care about her. I'm so happy to think she won't be leaving for a long time. The first thing that came to my mind this morning when I woke up was that she would have to go back to you soon, unless I could convince you to let her stay with me a little longer. And now she must stay—oh, at least two months."
It was quite true that the Squire had become very fond of Molly. The charm of having a young girl dancing and singing inarticulate ditties about the house and garden, was indescribable in its novelty to him. And then Molly was so willing and so wise; ready both to talk and to listen at the right times. Mrs. Hamley was quite right in speaking of her husband's fondness for Molly. But either she herself chose a wrong time for telling him of the prolongation of the girl's visit, or one of the fits of temper to which he was liable, but which he generally strove to check in the presence of his wife, was upon him; at any rate, he received the news in anything but a gracious frame of mind.
It was true that the Squire had become very fond of Molly. The joy of having a young girl dancing and singing nonsensical songs around the house and garden was something he found indescribably new and refreshing. Plus, Molly was both eager and wise; she knew when to talk and when to listen. Mrs. Hamley was right to mention her husband’s affection for Molly. However, she either picked the wrong moment to tell him about the girl’s extended visit, or he was having one of his temperamental moods, which he usually tried to control around his wife; in any case, he did not take the news well at all.
"Stay longer! Did Gibson ask for it?"
"Stay longer! Did Gibson request that?"
"Yes! I don't see what else is to become of her; Miss Eyre away and all. It's a very awkward position for a motherless girl like her to be at the head of a household with two young men in it."
"Yes! I can't imagine what will happen to her now that Miss Eyre is gone. It's a very uncomfortable situation for a motherless girl like her to be in charge of a household with two young men."
"That's Gibson's look-out; he should have thought of it before taking pupils, or apprentices, or whatever he calls them."
"That's Gibson's problem; he should have considered it before taking on students, or apprentices, or whatever he calls them."
"My dear Squire! why, I thought you'd be as glad as I was—as I am to keep Molly. I asked her to stay for an indefinite time; two months at least."
"My dear Squire! I thought you’d be just as happy as I am about keeping Molly. I asked her to stay for an indefinite period—at least two months."
"And to be in the house with Osborne! Roger, too, will be at home."
"And to be in the house with Osborne! Roger will be home too."
By the cloud in the Squire's eyes, Mrs. Hamley read his mind.
By the cloud in the Squire's eyes, Mrs. Hamley understood what he was thinking.
"Oh, she's not at all the sort of girl young men of their age would take to. We like her because we see what she really is; but lads of one or two and twenty want all the accessories of a young woman."
"Oh, she's not the type of girl that young men in their early twenties would go for. We like her because we see who she really is, but guys around that age want all the typical things that come with a young woman."
"Want what?" growled the Squire.
"What do you want?" growled the Squire.
"Such things as becoming dress, style of manner. They would not at their age even see that she is pretty; their ideas of beauty would include colour."
"Things like clothing and style matter. At their age, they wouldn't even notice that she's pretty; their idea of beauty would include color."
"I suppose all that's very clever; but I don't understand it. All I know is, that it's a very dangerous thing to shut two young men of one and three and twenty up in a country-house like this with a girl of seventeen—choose what her gowns may be like, or her hair, or her eyes. And I told you particularly I didn't want Osborne, or either of them, indeed, to be falling in love with her. I'm very much annoyed."
"I guess all of that is pretty smart, but I don't get it. All I know is that it's really risky to lock two young guys, one at 21 and the other at 23, in a country house with a 17-year-old girl—no matter what her dresses, hair, or eyes are like. And I specifically told you I didn’t want Osborne, or either of them for that matter, falling in love with her. It's really frustrating."
Mrs. Hamley's face fell; she became a little pale.
Mrs. Hamley's expression changed; she turned slightly pale.
"Shall we make arrangements for their stopping away while she is here; staying up at Cambridge, or reading with some one? going abroad for a month or two?"
"Should we plan for them to be away while she visits; staying in Cambridge, or studying with someone? Going abroad for a month or two?"
"No; you've been reckoning this ever so long on their coming home. I've seen the marks of the weeks on your almanack. I'd sooner speak to Gibson, and tell him he must take his daughter away, for it's not convenient to us—"
"No; you've been counting on them coming home for quite a while. I've noticed the marks of the weeks on your calendar. I'd rather talk to Gibson and tell him he needs to take his daughter away because it's not convenient for us—"
"My dear Roger! I beg you will do no such thing. It will be so unkind; it will give the lie to all I said yesterday. Don't, please, do that. For my sake, don't speak to Mr. Gibson!"
"My dear Roger! Please don't do that. It would be so unkind; it would contradict everything I said yesterday. Don’t, please, talk to Mr. Gibson!"
"Well, well, don't put yourself in a flutter," for he was afraid of her becoming hysterical; "I'll speak to Osborne when he comes home, and tell him how much I should dislike anything of the kind."
"Well, well, don’t get all worked up," because he was worried she might become hysterical; "I'll talk to Osborne when he gets home and let him know how much I would hate anything like that."
"And Roger is always far too full of his natural history and comparative anatomy, and messes of that sort, to be thinking of falling in love with Venus herself. He has not the sentiment and imagination of Osborne."
"And Roger is always way too caught up in his natural history and comparative anatomy, and stuff like that, to even think about falling in love with Venus herself. He doesn't have the sentiment and imagination that Osborne has."
"Ah, you don't know; you never can be sure about a young man! But with Roger it wouldn't so much signify. He would know he couldn't marry for years to come."
"Ah, you don’t know; you can never be sure about a young man! But with Roger, it wouldn’t matter much. He would know he couldn’t get married for years."
All that afternoon the Squire tried to steer clear of Molly, to whom he felt himself to have been an inhospitable traitor. But she was so perfectly unconscious of his shyness of her, and so merry and sweet in her behaviour as a welcome guest, never distrusting him for a moment, however gruff he might be, that by the next morning she had completely won him round, and they were quite on the old terms again. At breakfast this very morning, a letter was passed from the Squire to his wife, and back again, without a word as to its contents; but—
All that afternoon, the Squire tried to avoid Molly, feeling like he had been an unwelcoming traitor to her. But she was completely unaware of his awkwardness and was so cheerful and sweet as a guest, never doubting him for a moment, no matter how gruff he seemed. By the next morning, she had completely charmed him, and they were back to their usual relationship. At breakfast that very morning, a letter was passed from the Squire to his wife and back again, without a word about what it contained; but—
"Fortunate!"
"Lucky!"
"Yes! very!"
"Absolutely!"
Little did Molly apply these expressions to the piece of news Mrs. Hamley told her in the course of the day; namely, that her son Osborne had received an invitation to stay with a friend in the neighbourhood of Cambridge, and perhaps to make a tour on the Continent with him subsequently; and that, consequently, he would not accompany his brother when Roger came home.
Little did Molly relate these comments to the news Mrs. Hamley shared with her during the day; specifically, that her son Osborne had received an invitation to stay with a friend near Cambridge and possibly travel to the Continent with him afterward; and as a result, he wouldn’t be coming home with his brother when Roger returned.
Molly was very sympathetic.
Molly was really compassionate.
"Oh, dear! I am so sorry!"
"Oh no! I’m so sorry!"
Mrs. Hamley was thankful her husband was not present, Molly spoke the words so heartily.
Mrs. Hamley was glad her husband wasn’t around, since Molly said the words with such sincerity.
"You have been thinking so long of his coming home. I am afraid it is a great disappointment."
"You’ve been looking forward to him coming home for so long. I’m afraid it’s a huge letdown."
Mrs. Hamley smiled—relieved.
Mrs. Hamley smiled—she was relieved.
"Yes! it is a disappointment certainly, but we must think of Osborne's pleasure. And with his poetical mind, he will write us such delightful travelling letters. Poor fellow! he must be going into the examination to-day! Both his father and I feel sure, though, that he will be a high wrangler. Only—I should like to have seen him, my own dear boy. But it is best as it is."
"Yes! It's definitely a disappointment, but we have to consider Osborne's happiness. With his creative mind, he’ll send us some amazing travel letters. Poor guy! He must be going into the exam today! Both his father and I are sure he’ll do great. Still—I wish I could have seen him, my dear boy. But it’s probably for the best."
Molly was a little puzzled by this speech, but soon put it out of her head. It was a disappointment to her, too, that she should not see this beautiful, brilliant young man, his mother's hero. From time to time her maiden fancy had dwelt upon what he would be like; how the lovely boy of the picture in Mrs. Hamley's dressing-room would have changed in the ten years that had elapsed since the likeness was taken; if he would read poetry aloud; if he would even read his own poetry. However, in the never-ending feminine business of the day, she soon forgot her own disappointment; it only came back to her on first wakening the next morning, as a vague something that was not quite so pleasant as she had anticipated, and then was banished as a subject of regret. Her days at Hamley were well filled up with the small duties that would have belonged to a daughter of the house had there been one. She made breakfast for the lonely squire, and would willingly have carried up madam's, but that daily piece of work belonged to the squire, and was jealously guarded by him. She read the smaller print of the newspapers aloud to him, city articles, money and corn markets included. She strolled about the gardens with him, gathering fresh flowers, meanwhile, to deck the drawing-room against Mrs. Hamley should come down. She was her companion when she took her drives in the close carriage; they read poetry and mild literature together in Mrs. Hamley's sitting-room upstairs. She was quite clever at cribbage now, and could beat the squire if she took pains. Besides these things, there were her own independent ways of employing herself. She used to try to practise an hour daily on the old grand piano in the solitary drawing-room, because she had promised Miss Eyre she would do so. And she had found her way into the library, and used to undo the heavy bars of the shutters if the housemaid had forgotten this duty, and mount the ladder, sitting on the steps, for an hour at a time, deep in some book of the old English classics. The summer days were very short to this happy girl of seventeen.
Molly was a bit confused by this speech, but she quickly pushed it out of her mind. It was also disappointing for her that she wouldn’t get to see this beautiful, brilliant young man, who was his mother’s hero. From time to time, her imagination wandered to what he would be like; how the lovely boy in the picture in Mrs. Hamley’s dressing room would have changed in the ten years since that image was taken; if he would read poetry aloud; if he would even read his own poetry. However, in the never-ending tasks of the day, she soon forgot her disappointment; it only came back to her when she first woke up the next morning, as a vague feeling that wasn’t quite as pleasant as she'd hoped, and then it was dismissed as a regret. Her days at Hamley were filled with the small duties that would have belonged to a daughter of the house if there had been one. She made breakfast for the lonely squire and would have happily taken breakfast to madam, but that daily task was the squire's responsibility and was jealously guarded by him. She read the smaller print of the newspapers aloud to him, including city articles, money, and corn markets. She strolled around the gardens with him, picking fresh flowers to decorate the drawing room in case Mrs. Hamley came down. She kept him company during her drives in the closed carriage; they read poetry and light literature together in Mrs. Hamley’s sitting room upstairs. She had become quite good at cribbage and could beat the squire if she tried. On top of these things, she had her own ways of keeping busy. She would practice an hour a day on the old grand piano in the empty drawing room, because she had promised Miss Eyre she would. And she had found her way into the library, where she would open the heavy shutters if the housemaid had forgotten, and sit on the ladder steps, absorbed in some book of classic English literature for an hour at a time. The summer days flew by for this happy girl of seventeen.
CHAPTER VIII.
DRIFTING INTO DANGER.
On Thursday, the quiet country household was stirred through all its fibres with the thought of Roger's coming home. Mrs. Hamley had not seemed quite so well, or quite in such good spirits for two or three days before; and the squire himself had appeared to be put out without any visible cause. They had not chosen to tell Molly that Osborne's name had only appeared very low down in the mathematical tripos. So all that their visitor knew was that something was out of tune, and she hoped that Roger's coming home would set it to rights, for it was beyond the power of her small cares and wiles.
On Thursday, the peaceful country home was all abuzz with the news of Roger's return. Mrs. Hamley hadn’t seemed quite herself or in great spirits for the past couple of days, and the squire also seemed a bit off without any clear reason. They had decided not to tell Molly that Osborne’s name had only placed very low in the math tripos. So all their guest knew was that something felt off, and she hoped that Roger’s return would fix things since her little worries and tricks couldn't do it.
On Thursday, the housemaid apologized to her for some slight negligence in her bedroom, by saying she had been busy scouring Mr. Roger's rooms. "Not but what they were as clean as could be beforehand; but mistress would always have the young gentlemen's rooms cleaned afresh before they came home. If it had been Mr. Osborne, the whole house would have had to be done; but, to be sure, he was the eldest son, so it was but likely." Molly was amused at this testimony to the rights of heirship; but somehow she herself had fallen into the family manner of thinking that nothing was too great or too good for "the eldest son." In his father's eyes, Osborne was the representative of the ancient house of Hamley of Hamley, the future owner of the land which had been theirs for a thousand years. His mother clung to him because they two were cast in the same mould, both physically and mentally—because he bore her maiden name. She had indoctrinated Molly with her faith, and, in spite of her amusement at the housemaid's speech, the girl visitor would have been as anxious as any one to show her feudal loyalty to the heir, if indeed it had been he that was coming. After luncheon, Mrs. Hamley went to rest, in preparation for Roger's return; and Molly also retired to her own room, feeling that it would be better for her to remain there until dinner-time, and so to leave the father and mother to receive their boy in privacy. She took a book of MS. poems with her; they were all of Osborne Hamley's composition; and his mother had read some of them aloud to her young visitor more than once. Molly had asked permission to copy one or two of those which were her greatest favourites; and this quiet summer afternoon she took this copying for her employment, sitting at the pleasant open window, and losing herself in dreamy out-looks into the gardens and woods, quivering in the noon-tide heat. The house was so still, in its silence it might have been the "moated grange;" the booming buzz of the blue flies, in the great staircase window, seemed the loudest noise in-doors. And there was scarcely a sound out-of-doors but the humming of bees, in the flower-beds below the window. Distant voices from the far-away fields where they were making hay—the scent of which came in sudden wafts distinct from that of the nearer roses and honeysuckles—these merry piping voices just made Molly feel the depth of the present silence. She had left off copying, her hand weary with the unusual exertion of so much writing, and she was lazily trying to learn one or two of the poems off by heart.
On Thursday, the maid apologized to her for a bit of carelessness in her bedroom, explaining that she had been busy cleaning Mr. Roger's rooms. "Not that they weren’t already as clean as could be; but the mistress always insisted that the young gentlemen's rooms be freshly cleaned before they got home. If it had been Mr. Osborne, the whole house would have needed to be cleaned; but of course, he was the eldest son, so that made sense." Molly found this amusing as it highlighted the importance of being the heir; yet, she too had started to think like the family, believing that nothing was too great or too good for "the eldest son." In his father’s eyes, Osborne represented the ancient Hamley family, the future owner of the land that had been theirs for a thousand years. His mother held on to him because they were both cut from the same cloth—physically and mentally—since he shared her maiden name. She had passed her beliefs on to Molly, and despite her amusement at the maid's words, Molly would have felt just as eager as anyone to demonstrate her loyalty to the heir, if it had indeed been him coming home. After lunch, Mrs. Hamley went to rest in preparation for Roger's return; Molly also headed to her room, thinking it would be better to stay there until dinner, allowing the parents to greet their son privately. She took with her a book of handwritten poems, all written by Osborne Hamley, and his mother had read some of them aloud to her several times. Molly had asked for permission to copy a couple of her favorites, and on this peaceful summer afternoon, she took to copying while sitting at the nice open window, getting lost in daydreams as she gazed into the gardens and woods, shimmering in the midday heat. The house was so quiet it could have been the "moated grange"; the soft buzz of blue flies in the big staircase window was the loudest sound inside. Outside, there was hardly a sound except for the buzzing of bees in the flowerbeds below the window. Distant voices from the far fields where they were making hay—the scent of which wafted in, distinct from the nearby roses and honeysuckles—made Molly acutely aware of the deep silence around her. She had stopped copying, her hand tired from the unusual effort of writing so much, and she was lazily trying to memorize a couple of the poems.
I asked of the wind, but answer made it none, Save its accustomed sad and solitary moan— |
she kept saying to herself, losing her sense of whatever meaning the words had ever had, in the repetition which had become mechanical. Suddenly there was the snap of a shutting gate; wheels crackling on the dry gravel, horses' feet on the drive; a loud cheerful voice in the house, coming up through the open windows, the hall, the passages, the staircase, with unwonted fulness and roundness of tone. The entrance-hall downstairs was paved with diamonds of black and white marble; the low wide staircase that went in short flights around the hall, till you could look down upon the marble floor from the top story of the house, was uncarpeted—uncovered. The Squire was too proud of his beautifully-joined oaken flooring to cover this stair-case up unnecessarily; not to say a word of the usual state of want of ready money to expend upon the decorations of his house. So, through the undraperied hollow square of the hall and staircase every sound ascended clear and distinct; and Molly heard the Squire's glad "Hallo! here he is," and madam's softer, more plaintive voice; and then the loud, full, strange tone, which she knew must be Roger's. Then there was an opening and shutting of doors, and only a distant buzz of talking. Molly began again—
she kept telling herself, losing any sense of meaning the words ever had, in the repetitive, mechanical loop. Suddenly, there was the snap of a closing gate; wheels crunching on the dry gravel, horses' hooves on the driveway; a loud, cheerful voice from inside the house, coming through the open windows, the hall, the corridors, the staircase, with a rich and full tone. The entrance hall downstairs was paved with black and white marble tiles; the low, wide staircase that rose in short flights around the hall, allowing a view of the marble floor from the top story, was bare—uncovered. The Squire was too proud of his beautifully crafted oak flooring to cover the staircase unnecessarily; not to mention the usual lack of ready cash to spend on decorating his home. So, through the exposed hollow square of the hall and staircase, every sound echoed clearly; and Molly heard the Squire's happy "Hello! here he is," followed by madam's softer, more wistful voice; then the loud, full, unique tone, which she recognized as Roger's. After that, there was a flurry of door opening and closing, followed by a faint buzz of conversation. Molly started again—
I asked of the wind, but answer made it none. |
And this time she had nearly finished learning the poem, when she heard Mrs. Hamley come hastily into her sitting-room that adjoined Molly's bedroom, and burst out into an irrepressible half-hysterical fit of sobbing. Molly was too young to have any complication of motives which should prevent her going at once to try and give what comfort she could. In an instant she was kneeling at Mrs. Hamley's feet, holding the poor lady's hands, kissing them, murmuring soft words; which, all unmeaning as they were of aught but sympathy with the untold grief, did Mrs. Hamley good. She checked herself, smiling sadly at Molly through the midst of her thick-coming sobs.
And this time she had almost finished learning the poem when she heard Mrs. Hamley rush into her sitting room that connected to Molly's bedroom and suddenly burst into an uncontrollable, half-hysterical fit of sobbing. Molly was too young to have any complicated feelings that would stop her from going right away to offer whatever comfort she could. In an instant, she was kneeling at Mrs. Hamley's feet, holding the poor woman's hands, kissing them, and whispering soft words; although they didn't mean anything beyond sympathy for the unexpressed grief, they helped Mrs. Hamley. She pulled herself together, smiling sadly at Molly through her heavy sobs.
"It's only Osborne," said she, at last. "Roger has been telling us about him."
"It's just Osborne," she said finally. "Roger has been telling us about him."
"What about him?" asked Molly, eagerly.
"What about him?" Molly asked, eagerly.
"I knew on Monday; we had a letter—he said he had not done so well as we had hoped—as he had hoped himself, poor fellow! He said he had just passed, but was only low down among the junior optimes, and not where he had expected, and had led us to expect. But the Squire has never been at college, and does not understand college terms, and he has been asking Roger all about it, and Roger has been telling him, and it has made him so angry. But the squire hates college slang;—he has never been there, you know; and he thought poor Osborne was taking it too lightly, and he has been asking Roger about it, and Roger—"
"I found out on Monday; we got a letter—he said he hadn't done as well as we hoped—or as he hoped himself, poor guy! He mentioned that he just passed, but he was only low down among the junior optimes, not where he expected or made us expect. But the Squire has never been to college and doesn’t get college terms, so he’s been asking Roger all about it, and Roger has been explaining, which has made him really angry. The squire really dislikes college slang; he hasn’t experienced it himself, you know; and he thought poor Osborne was taking it too casually, and he’s been asking Roger about it, and Roger—
There was a fresh fit of the sobbing crying. Molly burst out,—"I don't think Mr. Roger should have told; he had no need to begin so soon about his brother's failure. Why, he hasn't been in the house an hour!"
There was a new wave of sobbing. Molly exclaimed, “I don't think Mr. Roger should have mentioned it; he didn’t need to start talking about his brother’s failure so soon. I mean, he hasn’t even been in the house for an hour!”
"Hush, hush, love!" said Mrs. Hamley. "Roger is so good. You don't understand. The squire would begin and ask questions before Roger had tasted food—as soon as ever we had got into the dining-room. And all he said—to me, at any rate—was that Osborne was nervous, and that if he could only have gone in for the Chancellor's medals, he would have carried all before him. But Roger said that after failing like this, he is not very likely to get a fellowship, which the Squire had placed his hopes on. Osborne himself seemed so sure of it, that the squire can't understand it, and is seriously angry, and growing more so the more he talks about it. He has kept it in two or three days, and that never suits him. He is always better when he is angry about a thing at once, and doesn't let it smoulder in his mind. Poor, poor Osborne! I did wish he had been coming straight home, instead of going to these friends of his; I thought I could have comforted him. But now I'm glad, for it will be better to let his father's anger cool first."
"Hush, hush, love!" Mrs. Hamley said. "Roger is really wonderful. You just don’t get it. The squire would start asking questions before Roger even had a chance to eat—right when we walked into the dining room. All he mentioned to me was that Osborne was anxious, and that if he could have gone for the Chancellor's medals, he would have won everything. But Roger said that after failing like this, he’s not very likely to get a fellowship, which the Squire had hoped for. Osborne seemed so sure of it that the squire can’t wrap his head around it, and he’s getting seriously upset, and more so the more he talks about it. He’s kept it bottled up for two or three days, and that never suits him. He’s always better when he gets angry about things right away, rather than letting it fester. Poor, poor Osborne! I really wish he had come straight home instead of heading to those friends of his; I thought I could comfort him. But now I’m glad he didn’t, because it’s probably better to let his father’s anger fade first."
So talking out what was in her heart, Mrs. Hamley became more composed; and at length she dismissed Molly to dress for dinner, with a kiss, saying,—
So as she expressed her feelings, Mrs. Hamley felt calmer; and finally, she sent Molly off to get ready for dinner, giving her a kiss, saying,
"You're a real blessing to mothers, child! You give one such pleasant sympathy, both in one's gladness and in one's sorrow; in one's pride (for I was so proud last week, so confident), and in one's disappointment. And now your being a fourth at dinner will keep us off that sore subject; there are times when a stranger in the household is a wonderful help."
"You're such a blessing to mothers, kid! You bring such nice sympathy, whether in happiness or sadness; in pride (I was so proud last week, so sure), and in disappointment. And now having you join us for dinner will help us avoid that touchy topic; sometimes, having a stranger around really helps."
Molly thought over all that she had heard, as she was dressing and putting on the terrible, over-smart plaid gown in honour of the new arrival. Her unconscious fealty to Osborne was not in the least shaken by his having come to grief at Cambridge. Only she was indignant—with or without reason—against Roger, who seemed to have brought the reality of bad news as an offering of first-fruits on his return home.
Molly reflected on everything she had heard while getting dressed in the awful, flashy plaid gown for the newcomer. Her unthinking loyalty to Osborne wasn't affected at all by his failure at Cambridge. She just felt anger—whether justified or not—toward Roger, who seemed to have brought the harsh reality of bad news as a sort of offering when he returned home.
She went down into the drawing-room with anything but a welcome to him in her heart. He was standing by his mother; the Squire had not yet made his appearance. Molly thought that the two were hand in hand when she first opened the door, but she could not be quite sure. Mrs. Hamley came a little forwards to meet her, and introduced her in so fondly intimate a way to her son, that Molly, innocent and simple, knowing nothing but Hollingford manners, which were anything but formal, half put out her hand to shake hands with one of whom she had heard so much—the son of such kind friends. She could only hope he had not seen the movement, for he made no attempt to respond to it; only bowed.
She walked into the drawing-room feeling anything but welcoming towards him. He was standing next to his mother; the Squire hadn’t arrived yet. When Molly first opened the door, she thought they were holding hands, but she couldn’t be completely sure. Mrs. Hamley stepped forward to greet her and introduced her to her son in such a warm and personal way that Molly, innocent and naïve, knowing nothing but the casual manners of Hollingford, which were far from formal, almost extended her hand to shake hands with someone she had heard so much about—the son of such kind friends. She could only hope he hadn’t seen the gesture, as he made no attempt to reciprocate; he just bowed.
He was a tall powerfully-made young man, giving the impression of strength more than elegance. His face was rather square, ruddy-coloured (as his father had said), hair and eyes brown—the latter rather deep-set beneath his thick eyebrows; and he had a trick of wrinkling up his eyelids when he wanted particularly to observe anything, which made his eyes look even smaller still at such times. He had a large mouth, with excessively mobile lips; and another trick of his was, that when he was amused at anything, he resisted the impulse to laugh, by a droll manner of twitching and puckering up his mouth, till at length the sense of humour had its way, and his features relaxed, and he broke into a broad sunny smile; his beautiful teeth—his only beautiful feature—breaking out with a white gleam upon the red-brown countenance. These two tricks of his—of crumpling up the eyelids, so as to concentrate the power of sight, which made him look stern and thoughtful; and the odd twitching of the lips that was preliminary to a smile, which made him look intensely merry—gave the varying expressions of his face a greater range "from grave to gay, from lively to severe," than is common with most men. To Molly, who was not finely discriminative in her glances at the stranger this first night, he simply appeared "heavy-looking, clumsy," and "a person she was sure she should never get on with." He certainly did not seem to care much what impression he made upon his mother's visitor. He was at that age when young men admire a formed beauty more than a face with any amount of future capability of loveliness, and when they are morbidly conscious of the difficulty of finding subjects of conversation in talking to girls in a state of feminine hobbledehoyhood. Besides, his thoughts were full of other subjects, which he did not intend to allow to ooze out in words, yet he wanted to prevent any of that heavy silence which he feared might be impending—with an angry and displeased father, and a timorous and distressed mother. He only looked upon Molly as a badly-dressed, and rather awkward girl, with black hair and an intelligent face, who might help him in the task he had set himself of keeping up a bright general conversation during the rest of the evening; might help him—if she would, but she would not. She thought him unfeeling in his talkativeness; his constant flow of words upon indifferent subjects was a wonder and a repulsion to her. How could he go on so cheerfully while his mother sat there, scarcely eating anything, and doing her best, with ill-success, to swallow down the tears that would keep rising to her eyes; when his father's heavy brow was deeply clouded, and he evidently cared nothing—at first at least—for all the chatter his son poured forth? Had Mr. Roger Hamley no sympathy in him? She would show that she had some, at any rate. So she quite declined the part, which he had hoped she would have taken, of respondent, and possible questioner; and his work became more and more like that of a man walking in a quagmire. Once the Squire roused himself to speak to the butler; he felt the need of outward stimulus—of a better vintage than usual.
He was a tall, strong young man, giving off more of a vibe of strength than elegance. His face was quite square, with a ruddy complexion (as his father had noted), and he had brown hair and eyes—the latter being deep-set beneath his thick eyebrows. He had a habit of wrinkling up his eyelids when he wanted to focus on something, which made his eyes seem even smaller at those moments. His mouth was large, with very expressive lips; when he found something funny, he held back laughter with a funny twitching and puckering of his mouth until eventually, his sense of humor took over, his face relaxed, and he broke into a broad, sunny smile; his beautiful teeth—his only attractive feature—shining brightly against his red-brown face. These two habits—of crumpling up his eyelids to enhance his focus, making him look serious and contemplative, and the odd twitching of his lips before he smiled, which made him look really cheerful—gave his facial expressions a wider range, from serious to joyful, than most guys. To Molly, who didn't pay much close attention to the stranger that first night, he just seemed "heavy-looking, clumsy," and "someone she was sure she wouldn't get along with." He clearly didn't care much about the impression he made on his mother's guest. He was at that age when young men admire a pretty face more than one that might have future potential for beauty, and when they are hyper-aware of how hard it can be to talk to girls who are a bit awkward. Besides, his mind was filled with other thoughts he didn’t want to spill out, though he wanted to avoid the awkward silence he feared might be looming—having an angry, displeased father, and a nervous, distressed mother. He saw Molly as a poorly dressed, somewhat awkward girl, with black hair and an intelligent face, who might help him keep up a lively conversation for the rest of the evening; if only she would, but she didn’t. She thought he was cold in his chattiness; his constant stream of talk about trivial subjects baffled and repelled her. How could he carry on so cheerfully while his mother sat there, hardly eating anything and struggling unsuccessfully to swallow back the tears in her eyes; while his father's heavy brow was deeply furrowed, clearly showing he cared little—at least at first—for all the talk his son was throwing out? Did Mr. Roger Hamley lack sympathy? She would show that she had some, at least. So she completely declined to play the part he had hoped she would take on, of engaging respondent and potential questioner; and his effort became increasingly like that of a man walking through a bog. Once, the Squire stirred himself to speak to the butler; he felt the need for some external boost—a better wine than usual.
"Bring up a bottle of the Burgundy with the yellow seal."
"Get a bottle of the Burgundy with the yellow seal."
He spoke low; he had no spirit to speak in his usual voice. The butler answered in the same tone. Molly sitting near them, and silent herself, heard what they said.
He spoke quietly; he didn’t have the energy to speak in his usual voice. The butler replied in the same tone. Molly, sitting nearby and also silent, heard what they were saying.
"If you please, sir, there are not above six bottles of that seal left; and it is Mr. Osborne's favourite wine."
"If you don't mind, sir, there are only about six bottles of that wine left; and it's Mr. Osborne's favorite."
The Squire turned round with a growl in his voice.
The Squire turned around with a growl in his voice.
"Bring up a bottle of the Burgundy with the yellow seal, as I said."
"Bring out a bottle of the Burgundy with the yellow seal, like I mentioned."
The butler went away wondering. "Mr. Osborne's" likes and dislikes had been the law of the house in general until now. If he had liked any particular food or drink, any seat or place, any special degree of warmth or coolness, his wishes were to be attended to; for he was the heir, and he was delicate, and he was the clever one of the family. All the out-of-doors men would have said the same. Mr. Osborne wished a tree cut down, or kept standing, or had such-and-such a fancy about the game, or desired something unusual about the horses; and they had all to attend to it as if it were law. But to-day the Burgundy with the yellow seal was to be brought; and it was brought. Molly testified with quiet vehemence of action; she never took wine, so she need not have been afraid of the man's pouring it into her glass; but as an open mark of fealty to the absent Osborne, however little it might be understood, she placed the palm of her small brown hand over the top of the glass, and held it there, till the wine had gone round, and Roger and his father were in full enjoyment of it.
The butler walked away deep in thought. Mr. Osborne's likes and dislikes had pretty much been the rules of the house up until now. If he favored a specific food or drink, a certain seat or spot, or a certain level of warmth or coolness, everyone was expected to accommodate him; he was the heir, he was delicate, and he was the smart one in the family. The outdoor guys would have all agreed. If Mr. Osborne wanted a tree cut down or left standing, had some preference about the game, or wanted something different with the horses, everyone had to comply as if it were a command. But today, the Burgundy with the yellow seal was to be served, and it was served. Molly showed her support with a quiet determination; she never drank wine, so she had no reason to be concerned about him pouring it into her glass. Yet, as a subtle sign of loyalty to the absent Osborne, no matter how little it might be recognized, she placed her small brown hand over the top of the glass and kept it there until the wine had been passed around and Roger and his father were fully enjoying it.
After dinner, too, the gentlemen lingered long over their dessert, and Molly heard them laughing; and then she saw them loitering about in the twilight out-of-doors; Roger hatless, his hands in his pockets, lounging by his father's side, who was now able to talk in his usual loud and cheerful way, forgetting Osborne. Væ victis!
After dinner, the guys hung around for a long time over their dessert, and Molly heard them laughing. Then she saw them hanging out in the twilight outside; Roger without his hat, hands in his pockets, lounging next to his dad, who was now able to talk in his usual loud and cheerful way, completely forgetting about Osborne. Væ victis!
And so in mute opposition on Molly's side, in polite indifference, scarcely verging upon kindliness on his, Roger and she steered clear of each other. He had many occupations in which he needed no companionship, even if she had been qualified to give it. The worst was, that she found he was in the habit of occupying the library, her favourite retreat, in the mornings before Mrs. Hamley came down. She opened the half-closed door a day or two after his return home, and found him busy among books and papers, with which the large leather-covered table was strewn; and she softly withdrew before he could turn his head and see her, so as to distinguish her from one of the housemaids. He rode out every day, sometimes with his father about the outlying fields, sometimes far away for a good gallop. Molly would have enjoyed accompanying him on these occasions, for she was very fond of riding; and there had been some talk of sending for her habit and grey pony when first she came to Hamley; only the Squire, after some consideration, had said he so rarely did more than go slowly from one field to another, where his labourers were at work, that he feared she would find such slow work—ten minutes riding through heavy land, twenty minutes sitting still on horseback, listening to the directions he should have to give to his men—rather dull. Now, when if she had had her pony here she might have ridden out with Roger, without giving him any trouble—she would have taken care of that—nobody seemed to think of renewing the proposal.
So, in silent opposition on Molly's part, and with polite indifference on his, Roger and she avoided each other. He had plenty of activities that didn’t require company, even if she had been able to provide it. The worst part was that she discovered he often occupied the library, her favorite retreat, in the mornings before Mrs. Hamley came downstairs. A day or two after he returned home, she opened the half-closed door and found him surrounded by books and papers, which were scattered across the large leather-covered table; she quietly stepped back before he could turn and see her, wanting to avoid being mistaken for one of the housemaids. He went out riding every day, sometimes with his father through the surrounding fields, and other times far away for a good gallop. Molly would have loved to join him, as she was very fond of riding; there had been discussions about sending for her riding clothes and gray pony when she first arrived at Hamley; however, the Squire had, after some thought, said he rarely did more than slowly travel from one field to another where his laborers were working, so he feared she would find such a slow pace—ten minutes of riding through heavy terrain, and twenty minutes sitting still on horseback, listening to the instructions he would need to give to his men—rather boring. Now, if she had had her pony here, she could have ridden out with Roger without bothering him—she would have made sure of that—but no one seemed to consider bringing up the idea again.
Altogether it was pleasanter before he came home.
Altogether, it was nicer before he came home.
Her father rode over pretty frequently; sometimes there were long unaccountable absences, it was true; when his daughter began to fidget after him, and to wonder what had become of him. But when he made his appearance he had always good reasons to give; and the right she felt that she had to his familiar household tenderness; the power she possessed of fully understanding the exact value of both his words and his silence, made these glimpses of intercourse with him inexpressibly charming. Latterly her burden had always been, "When may I come home, papa?" It was not that she was unhappy, or uncomfortable; she was passionately fond of Mrs. Hamley, she was a favourite of the Squire's, and could not as yet fully understand why some people were so much afraid of him; and as for Roger, if he did not add to her pleasure, he scarcely took away from it. But she wanted to be at home once more. The reason why she could not tell; but this she knew full well. Mr. Gibson reasoned with her till she was weary of being completely convinced that it was right and necessary for her to stay where she was. And then with an effort she stopped the cry upon her tongue, for she saw that its repetition harassed her father.
Her dad came by pretty often; sometimes he disappeared for a long time, and she couldn't help but wonder where he had gone. But when he showed up, he always had good explanations. She felt a strong sense of intimacy with him, understanding the true meaning behind both his words and his silences, which made those moments with him incredibly special. Recently, her constant question had been, "When can I come home, Dad?" It wasn't that she was unhappy or uncomfortable; she loved spending time with Mrs. Hamley, was a favorite of the Squire, and couldn't fully grasp why some people were so afraid of him. As for Roger, he didn't really add to her joy but didn't take away from it either. But she longed to be home again. She couldn't explain why; she just knew it in her heart. Mr. Gibson tried to convince her to stay until she was tired of hearing that it was right and necessary for her to remain where she was. With effort, she held back her pleas because she noticed that repeating them was bothering her dad.
During this absence of hers Mr. Gibson was drifting into matrimony. He was partly aware of whither he was going; and partly it was like the soft floating movement of a dream. He was more passive than active in the affair; though, if his reason had not fully approved of the step he was tending to—if he had not believed that a second marriage was the very best way of cutting the Gordian knot of domestic difficulties, he could have made an effort without any great trouble, and extricated himself without pain from the mesh of circumstances. It happened in this manner:—Lady Cumnor having married her two eldest daughters, found her labours as a chaperone to Lady Harriet, the youngest, considerably lightened by co-operation; and, at length, she had leisure to be an invalid. She was, however, too energetic to allow herself this indulgence constantly; only she permitted herself to break down occasionally after a long course of dinners, late hours, and London atmosphere: and then, leaving Lady Harriet with either Lady Cuxhaven or Lady Agnes Manners, she betook herself to the comparative quiet of the Towers, where she found occupation in doing her benevolence, which was sadly neglected in the hurly-burly of London. This particular summer she had broken down earlier than usual, and longed for the repose of the country. She believed that her state of health, too, was more serious than previously; but she did not say a word of this to her husband or daughters; reserving her confidence for Mr. Gibson's ears. She did not wish to take Lady Harriet away from the gaieties of town which she was thoroughly enjoying, by any complaint of hers, which might, after all, be ill-founded; and yet she did not quite like being without a companion in the three weeks or a month that might intervene before her family would join her at the Towers, especially as the annual festivity to the school visitors was impending; and both the school and the visit of the ladies connected with it, had rather lost the zest of novelty.
During her absence, Mr. Gibson was heading toward marriage. He was somewhat aware of where he was going, but it also felt like he was just floating along in a dream. He was more passive than active in the situation; however, if he hadn’t fully approved of the path he was taking—if he didn’t believe that a second marriage was the best way to resolve his domestic troubles—he could have easily made an effort to extricate himself from the circumstances. It happened like this: Lady Cumnor, having married off her two eldest daughters, found her job as a chaperone for Lady Harriet, the youngest, significantly eased by having help; eventually, she had time to act like an invalid. However, she was too energetic to allow herself this indulgence all the time; she only allowed herself to fall ill every now and then after a long stretch of dinners, late nights, and the hustle and bustle of London. Then, leaving Lady Harriet with either Lady Cuxhaven or Lady Agnes Manners, she would retreat to the relative quiet of the Towers, where she could engage in her charitable work, which had been sadly neglected amid the chaos of London. That particular summer, she had fallen ill earlier than usual and craved the peace of the countryside. She suspected her health had declined more seriously than before, but she didn’t mention this to her husband or daughters, saving her concerns for Mr. Gibson. She didn’t want to pull Lady Harriet away from the enjoyable activities of the city with any complaints of her own that might, after all, not be warranted; yet, she wasn’t entirely comfortable being alone during the three weeks or so before her family joined her at the Towers, especially since the annual festivities for the school visitors were coming up, and both the school and the ladies’ visit had started to lose their novelty.
"Thursday the 19th, Harriet," said Lady Cumnor, meditatively; "what do you say to coming down to the Towers on the 18th, and helping me over that long day. You could stay in the country till Monday, and have a few days' rest and good air; you would return a great deal fresher to the remainder of your gaieties. Your father would bring you down, I know: indeed, he is coming naturally."
"Thursday the 19th, Harriet," Lady Cumnor said thoughtfully; "how about coming to the Towers on the 18th and helping me get through that long day? You could stay in the country until Monday and enjoy a few days of rest and fresh air; you'd feel a lot more refreshed for the rest of your activities. I'm sure your dad would bring you down, and he's already planning to come."
"Oh, mamma!" said Lady Harriet, the youngest daughter of the house—the prettiest, the most indulged; "I cannot go; there's the water-party up to Maidenhead on the 20th, I should be so sorry to miss it: and Mrs. Duncan's ball, and Grisi's concert; please, don't want me. Besides, I should do no good. I can't make provincial small-talk; I'm not up in the local politics of Hollingford. I should be making mischief, I know I should."
"Oh, Mom!" said Lady Harriet, the youngest daughter of the house—the prettiest and most spoiled; "I can't go; there's the water party in Maidenhead on the 20th, and I’d be really upset to miss it: plus, Mrs. Duncan's ball and Grisi's concert. Please, don’t want me to go. Besides, I wouldn’t be much help. I can’t handle small talk in provincial settings; I’m not up to date on the local politics in Hollingford. I’d just end up causing trouble, I know I would."
"Very well, my dear," said Lady Cumnor, sighing, "I had forgotten the Maidenhead water-party, or I would not have asked you."
"Alright, my dear," Lady Cumnor said with a sigh, "I completely forgot about the Maidenhead water-party, or I wouldn't have asked you."
"What a pity it isn't the Eton holidays, so that you could have had Hollingford's boys to help you to do the honours, mamma. They are such affable little prigs. It was the greatest fun to watch them last year at Sir Edward's, doing the honours of their grandfather's house to much such a collection of humble admirers as you get together at the Towers. I shall never forget seeing Edgar gravely squiring about an old lady in a portentous black bonnet, and giving her information in the correctest grammar possible."
"What a shame it isn't the Eton holidays, so you could have had Hollingford's boys to help you host, Mom. They're such friendly little know-it-alls. It was so much fun watching them last year at Sir Edward's, hosting a group of humble admirers just like the ones you gather at the Towers. I'll never forget seeing Edgar seriously escorting an old lady in a big black bonnet and giving her information in the most proper grammar."
"Well, I like those lads," said Lady Cuxhaven; "they are on the way to become true gentlemen. But, mamma, why shouldn't you have Clare to stay with you? You like her, and she is just the person to save you the troubles of hospitality to the Hollingford people, and we should all be so much more comfortable if we knew you had her with you."
"Well, I like those guys," said Lady Cuxhaven; "they're becoming true gentlemen. But, Mom, why can't you have Clare stay with you? You like her, and she's just the person to help you avoid the hassle of hosting the Hollingford people, and we would all feel so much more comfortable knowing you have her with you."
"Yes, Clare would do very well," said Lady Cumnor; "but isn't it her school-time or something? We must not interfere with her school so as to injure her, for I am afraid she is not doing too well as it is; and she has been so very unlucky ever since she left us—first her husband died, and then she lost Lady Davies' situation, and then Mrs. Maude's, and now Mr. Preston told your father it was all she could do to pay her way in Ashcombe, though Lord Cumnor lets her have the house rent-free."
"Yes, Clare would do really well," Lady Cumnor said. "But isn’t it her school time or something? We shouldn’t interfere with her education and risk hurting her because I’m worried she isn’t doing too well as it is. She has been really unfortunate ever since she left us—first, her husband died, then she lost Lady Davies’ position, then Mrs. Maude’s, and now Mr. Preston told your father that she’s barely managing to get by in Ashcombe, even though Lord Cumnor lets her live in the house rent-free."
"I can't think how it is," said Lady Harriet. "She's not very wise, certainly; but she is so useful and agreeable, and has such pleasant manners, I should have thought any one who wasn't particular about education would have been charmed to keep her as a governess."
"I can't figure it out," said Lady Harriet. "She’s not very smart, that's for sure; but she’s so helpful and pleasant, and has such nice manners, I would have thought anyone who wasn’t picky about education would have loved to have her as a governess."
"What do you mean by not being particular about education? Most people who keep governesses for their children are supposed to be particular," said Lady Cuxhaven.
"What do you mean by not caring much about education? Most people who hire governesses for their kids are expected to be particular," said Lady Cuxhaven.
"Well, they think themselves so, I've no doubt; but I call you particular, Mary, and I don't think mamma was; but she thought herself so, I'm sure."
"Well, they believe they are, I have no doubt; but I find you particular, Mary, and I don’t think mom was; but she believed she was, I’m sure."
"I can't think what you mean, Harriet," said Lady Cumnor, a good deal annoyed at this speech of her clever, heedless, youngest daughter.
"I can't figure out what you're talking about, Harriet," said Lady Cumnor, quite annoyed by her clever but careless youngest daughter.
"Oh dear, mamma, you did everything you could think of for us; but you see you'd ever so many other engrossing interests, and Mary hardly ever allows her love for her husband to interfere with her all-absorbing care for the children. You gave us the best of masters in every department, and Clare to dragonize and keep us up to our preparation for them, as well as ever she could; but then you know, or rather you didn't know, some of the masters admired our very pretty governess, and there was a kind of respectable veiled flirtation going on, which never came to anything, to be sure; and then you were often so overwhelmed with your business as a great lady—fashionable and benevolent, and all that sort of thing—that you used to call Clare away from us at the most critical times of our lessons, to write your notes, or add up your accounts, and the consequence is, that I'm about the most ill-informed girl in London. Only Mary was so capitally trained by good awkward Miss Benson, that she is always full to overflowing with accurate knowledge, and her glory is reflected upon me."
"Oh dear, Mom, you did everything you could for us, but you had so many other interests, and Mary rarely lets her love for her husband get in the way of her complete dedication to the kids. You provided us with the best teachers in every subject and got Clare to supervise us and keep us on track with our studies as much as she could. But you know, or rather you didn't know, that some of the teachers admired our very pretty governess, and there was a sort of respectable, subtle flirting happening that never went anywhere. Also, you were often so busy with your role as a prominent lady—trendy and charitable and all that—that you would pull Clare away from us at the most crucial points of our lessons to write your notes or tally your accounts. As a result, I'm probably the most uninformed girl in London. Only Mary was so well trained by the good, awkward Miss Benson that she’s always overflowing with accurate knowledge, and her brilliance shines back on me."
"Do you think what Harriet says is true, Mary?" asked Lady Cumnor, rather anxiously.
"Do you think Harriet is telling the truth, Mary?" Lady Cumnor asked, sounding somewhat worried.
"I was so little with Clare in the school-room. I used to read French with her; she had a beautiful accent, I remember. Both Agnes and Harriet were very fond of her. I used to be jealous for Miss Benson's sake, and perhaps—" Lady Cuxhaven paused a minute—"that made me fancy that she had a way of flattering and indulging them—not quite conscientious, I used to think. But girls are severe judges, and certainly she had had an anxious enough lifetime. I am always so glad when we can have her, and give her a little pleasure. The only thing that makes me uneasy now is the way in which she seems to send her daughter away from her so much; we never can persuade her to bring Cynthia with her when she comes to see us."
"I was very young with Clare in the classroom. I used to read French with her; she had a lovely accent, I remember. Both Agnes and Harriet were quite fond of her. I used to feel jealous for Miss Benson's sake, and maybe— Lady Cuxhaven paused for a moment—"that made me think she had a tendency to flatter and spoil them—not entirely fair, I used to think. But girls are tough critics, and she certainly has had a stressful life. I’m always so happy when we can have her over and give her a bit of joy. The only thing that worries me now is how she seems to push her daughter away from her a lot; we can never convince her to bring Cynthia with her when she comes to visit us."
"Now that I call ill-natured," said Lady Harriet; "here is a poor dear woman trying to earn her livelihood, first as a governess, and what could she do with her daughter then, but send her to school? and after that, when Clare is asked to go visiting, and is too modest to bring her girl with her—besides all the expense of the journey, and the rigging out—Mary finds fault with her for her modesty and economy."
"Now, that's just mean," said Lady Harriet. "Here’s a poor woman trying to make a living, first as a governess, and what else could she do with her daughter except send her to school? Then, when Clare is invited to visit and feels too shy to bring her daughter along—plus all the costs of the trip and getting ready—Mary criticizes her for being modest and frugal."
"Well, after all, we are not discussing Clare and her affairs, but trying to plan for mamma's comfort. I don't see that she can do better than ask Mrs. Kirkpatrick to come to the Towers—as soon as her holidays begin, I mean."
"Well, we're not talking about Clare and her issues, but trying to figure out what will make Mom comfortable. I think the best thing she can do is invite Mrs. Kirkpatrick to come to the Towers as soon as her vacation starts."
"Here is her last letter," said Lady Cumnor, who had been searching for it in her escritoire, while her daughters were talking. Holding her glasses before her eyes, she began to read, "'My wonted misfortunes appear to have followed me to Ashcombe'—um, um, um; that's not it—'Mr. Preston is most kind in sending me fruit and flowers from the Manor-house, according to dear Lord Cumnor's kind injunction.' Oh, here it is! 'The vacation begins on the 11th, according to the usual custom of schools in Ashcombe; and I must then try and obtain some change of air and scene, in order to fit myself for the resumption of my duties on the 10th of August.' You see, girls, she would be at liberty, if she has not made any other arrangement for spending her holidays. To-day is the 15th."
"Here’s her last letter," said Lady Cumnor, who had been looking for it in her desk while her daughters chatted. Holding her glasses up, she started to read, “‘My usual misfortunes seem to have followed me to Ashcombe’—um, um, um; that’s not it—‘Mr. Preston is very kind in sending me fruit and flowers from the Manor-house, per dear Lord Cumnor's request.’ Oh, here it is! ‘The vacation starts on the 11th, following the usual custom of schools in Ashcombe; and I must then try to get some fresh air and a change of scenery to prepare myself for resuming my duties on the 10th of August.’ You see, girls, she would be free if she hasn't made other plans for her holidays. Today is the 15th."
"I'll write to her at once, mamma," Lady Harriet said. "Clare and I are always great friends; I was her confidant in her loves with poor Mr. Kirkpatrick, and we've kept up our intimacy ever since. I know of three offers she had besides."
"I'll write to her right away, mom," Lady Harriet said. "Clare and I have always been good friends; I was her confidante during her romance with poor Mr. Kirkpatrick, and we've stayed close ever since. I know of three other proposals she had besides."
"I sincerely hope Miss Bowes is not telling her love-affairs to Grace or Lily. Why, Harriet, you could not have been older than Grace when Clare was married!" said Lady Cuxhaven, in maternal alarm.
"I really hope Miss Bowes isn't sharing her romantic stories with Grace or Lily. Harriet, you were barely older than Grace when Clare got married!" said Lady Cuxhaven, worried like a mother.
"No; but I was well versed in the tender passion, thanks to novels. Now I daresay you don't admit novels into your school-room, Mary; so your daughters wouldn't be able to administer discreet sympathy to their governess in case she was the heroine of a love-affair."
"No; but I was really familiar with romantic feelings, thanks to novels. I suppose you don’t allow novels in your schoolroom, Mary; so your daughters wouldn’t be able to offer discreet support to their governess if she happened to be the heroine of a love affair."
"My dear Harriet, don't let me hear you talking of love in that way; it is not pretty. Love is a serious thing."
"My dear Harriet, don’t talk about love like that; it’s not attractive. Love is an important matter."
"My dear mamma, your exhortations are just eighteen years too late. I've talked all the freshness off love, and that's the reason I'm tired of the subject."
"My dear mom, your advice comes just eighteen years too late. I've talked all the excitement out of love, and that's why I'm tired of the topic."
This last speech referred to a recent refusal of Lady Harriet's, which had displeased Lady Cumnor, and rather annoyed my lord; as they, the parents, could see no objection to the gentleman in question. Lady Cuxhaven did not want to have the subject brought up, so she hastened to say,—
This last speech mentioned Lady Harriet's recent rejection, which upset Lady Cumnor and annoyed my lord, as they, the parents, saw no reason to object to the gentleman involved. Lady Cuxhaven didn’t want to discuss the topic, so she quickly said,—
"Do ask the poor little daughter to come with her mother to the Towers; why, she must be seventeen or more; she would really be a companion to you, mamma, if her mother was unable to come."
"Please ask the poor girl to come with her mom to the Towers; she must be at least seventeen; she would really keep you company, mom, if her mother can't make it."
"I was not ten when Clare married, and I'm nearly nine-and-twenty," added Lady Harriet.
"I wasn't even ten when Clare got married, and now I'm almost twenty-nine," added Lady Harriet.
"Don't speak of it, Harriet; at any rate you are but eight-and-twenty now, and you look a great deal younger. There is no need to be always bringing up your age on every possible occasion."
"Don't mention it, Harriet; after all, you're only twenty-eight now, and you look much younger. There's no need to keep bringing up your age every chance you get."
"There was need of it now, though. I wanted to make out how old Cynthia Kirkpatrick was. I think she can't be far from eighteen."
"There was a need for it now, though. I wanted to figure out how old Cynthia Kirkpatrick was. I think she can't be much older than eighteen."
"She is at school at Boulogne, I know; and so I don't think she can be as old as that. Clare says something about her in this letter: 'Under these circumstances' (the ill-success of her school), 'I cannot think myself justified in allowing myself the pleasure of having darling Cynthia at home for the holidays; especially as the period when the vacation in French schools commences differs from that common in England; and it might occasion some confusion in my arrangements if darling Cynthia were to come to Ashcombe, and occupy my time and thoughts so immediately before the commencement of my scholastic duties as the 8th of August, on which day her vacation begins, which is but two days before my holidays end.' So, you see, Clare would be quite at liberty to come to me, and I daresay it would be a very nice change for her."
"She's at school in Boulogne, I know; so I don't think she can be that old. Clare mentions her in this letter: 'Given these circumstances' (the lack of success at her school), 'I can't justify myself in allowing the pleasure of having dear Cynthia home for the holidays; especially since the start of vacation in French schools is different from the usual one in England; it could cause some confusion in my plans if dear Cynthia came to Ashcombe and took up my time and thoughts right before my teaching duties begin on August 8th, which is just two days before my own holidays end.' So, you see, Clare would definitely be free to come to me, and I'm sure it would be a nice change for her."
"And Hollingford is busy seeing after his new laboratory at the Towers, and is constantly backwards and forwards. And Agnes wants to go there for change of air, as soon as she is strong enough after her confinement. And even my own dear insatiable 'me' will have had enough of gaiety in two or three weeks, if this hot weather lasts."
"And Hollingford is busy setting up his new lab at the Towers, constantly going back and forth. Agnes wants to go there for a change of scenery as soon as she’s strong enough after giving birth. And even my own insatiable self will have had enough fun in two or three weeks if this hot weather continues."
"I think I may be able to come down for a few days too, if you will let me, mamma; and I'll bring Grace, who is looking rather pale and weedy; growing too fast, I'm afraid. So I hope you won't be dull."
"I think I can come down for a few days too, if you don’t mind, Mom; and I’ll bring Grace, who’s looking kind of pale and undernourished; she’s growing too fast, I’m afraid. So I hope you won’t be bored."
"My dear," said Lady Cumnor, drawing herself up, "I should be ashamed of feeling dull with my resources; my duties to others and to myself!"
"My dear," said Lady Cumnor, straightening herself, "I would be ashamed to feel bored with all my resources; my responsibilities to others and to myself!"
So the plan in its present shape was told to Lord Cumnor, who highly approved of it; as he always did of every project of his wife's. Lady Cumnor's character was perhaps a little too ponderous for him in reality, but he was always full of admiration for all her words and deeds, and used to boast of her wisdom, her benevolence, her power and dignity, in her absence, as if by this means he could buttress up his own more feeble nature.
So the current plan was shared with Lord Cumnor, who was fully on board with it, as he always was with any idea his wife had. Lady Cumnor's personality might have been a bit too heavy for him in reality, but he consistently admired all her actions and words, and would brag about her intelligence, kindness, influence, and grace when she wasn't around, as if that would strengthen his own weaker character.
"Very good—very good, indeed! Clare to join you at the Towers! Capital! I couldn't have planned it better myself! I shall go down with you on Wednesday in time for the jollification on Thursday. I always enjoy that day; they are such nice, friendly people, those good Hollingford ladies. Then I'll have a day with Sheepshanks, and perhaps I may ride over to Ashcombe and see Preston—Brown Jess can do it in a day, eighteen miles—to be sure! But there's back again to the Towers!—how much is twice eighteen—thirty?"
"Great—really great! Clare is joining you at the Towers! Awesome! I couldn't have planned it better myself! I'll go down with you on Wednesday in time for the celebration on Thursday. I always enjoy that day; the Hollingford ladies are such nice, friendly people. Then I'll have a day with Sheepshanks, and maybe I'll ride over to Ashcombe and see Preston—Brown Jess can handle it in a day, eighteen miles, for sure! But then it's back to the Towers! How much is twice eighteen—thirty?"
"Thirty-six," said Lady Cumnor, sharply.
"36," said Lady Cumnor, sharply.
"So it is; you're always right, my dear. Preston's a clever, sharp fellow."
"So it is; you’re always right, my dear. Preston's a smart, sharp guy."
"I don't like him," said my lady.
"I don't like him," my lady said.
"He takes looking after; but he's a sharp fellow. He's such a good-looking man, too, I wonder you don't like him."
"He takes care of things; but he's a clever guy. He's really good-looking, I wonder why you don't like him."
"I never think whether a land-agent is handsome or not. They don't belong to the class of people whose appearance I notice."
"I never think about whether a land agent is attractive or not. They’re not the kind of people whose looks I pay attention to."
"To be sure not. But he is a handsome fellow; and what should make you like him is the interest he takes in Clare and her prospects. He is constantly suggesting something that can be done to her house, and I know he sends her fruit, and flowers, and game just as regularly as we should ourselves if we lived at Ashcombe."
"Definitely not. But he's a good-looking guy, and what might endear him to you is how much he cares about Clare and her future. He's always coming up with ideas for improvements to her house, and I know he regularly sends her fruit, flowers, and game, just like we would if we lived at Ashcombe."
"How old is he?" said Lady Cumnor, with a faint suspicion of motives in her mind.
"How old is he?" Lady Cumnor asked, with a slight suspicion of motives in her mind.
"About twenty-seven, I think. Ah! I see what is in your ladyship's head. No! no! he's too young for that. You must look out for some middle-aged man, if you want to get poor Clare married; Preston won't do."
"Probably around twenty-seven, I guess. Oh! I see what you’re thinking, my lady. No! No! He’s too young for that. You should find a middle-aged man if you want to get poor Clare married; Preston won’t work."
"I'm not a match-maker, as you might know. I never did it for my own daughters. I'm not likely to do it for Clare," said she, leaning back languidly.
"I'm not a matchmaker, as you probably know. I never did it for my own daughters. I'm not likely to do it for Clare," she said, leaning back casually.
"Well! you might do a worse thing. I'm beginning to think she'll never get on as a schoolmistress, though why she shouldn't, I'm sure I don't know; for she's an uncommonly pretty woman for her age, and her having lived in our family, and your having had her so often with you, ought to go a good way. I say, my lady, what do you think of Gibson? He would be just the right age—widower—lives near the Towers?"
"Well! You could do worse. I'm starting to think she might never make it as a schoolmistress, though I can't figure out why not; she's incredibly attractive for her age, and having lived in our family, plus you having spent so much time with her, should really help. I’m curious, my lady, what do you think of Gibson? He’s about the right age—widower—lives close to the Towers?"
"I told you just now I was no match-maker, my lord. I suppose we had better go by the old road—the people at those inns know us?"
"I just told you I’m not a matchmaker, my lord. I guess we should take the old road—the people at those inns know us?"
And so they passed on to speaking about other things than Mrs. Kirkpatrick and her prospects, scholastic or matrimonial.
And so they moved on to talk about other things instead of Mrs. Kirkpatrick and her future, whether in education or marriage.
CHAPTER IX.
THE WIDOWER AND THE WIDOW.
Mrs. Kirkpatrick was only too happy to accept Lady Cumnor's invitation. It was what she had been hoping for, but hardly daring to expect, as she believed that the family were settled in London for some time to come. The Towers was a pleasant and luxurious house in which to pass her holidays; and though she was not one to make deep plans, or to look far ahead, she was quite aware of the prestige which her being able to say she had been staying with "dear Lady Cumnor" at the Towers, was likely to give her and her school in the eyes of a good many people; so she gladly prepared to join her ladyship on the 17th. Her wardrobe did not require much arrangement; if it had done, the poor lady would not have had much money to appropriate to the purpose. She was very pretty and graceful; and that goes a great way towards carrying off shabby clothes; and it was her taste more than any depth of feeling, that had made her persevere in wearing all the delicate tints—the violets and grays—which, with a certain admixture of black, constitute half-mourning. This style of becoming dress she was supposed to wear in memory of Mr. Kirkpatrick; in reality because it was both lady-like and economical. Her beautiful hair was of that rich auburn that hardly ever turns gray; and partly out of consciousness of its beauty, and partly because the washing of caps is expensive, she did not wear anything on her head; her complexion had the vivid tints that often accompany the kind of hair which has once been red; and the only injury her skin had received from advancing years was that the colouring was rather more brilliant than delicate, and varied less with every passing emotion. She could no longer blush; and at eighteen she had been very proud of her blushes. Her eyes were soft, large, and china-blue in colour; they had not much expression or shadow about them, which was perhaps owing to the flaxen colour of her eyelashes. Her figure was a little fuller than it used to be, but her movements were as soft and sinuous as ever. Altogether, she looked much younger than her age, which was not far short of forty. She had a very pleasant voice, and read aloud well and distinctly, which Lady Cumnor liked. Indeed, for some inexplicable reason, she was a greater, more positive favourite with Lady Cumnor than with any of the rest of the family, though they all liked her up to a certain point, and found it agreeably useful to have any one in the house who was so well acquainted with their ways and habits; so ready to talk, when a little trickle of conversation was required; so willing to listen, and to listen with tolerable intelligence, if the subjects spoken about did not refer to serious solid literature, or science, or politics, or social economy. About novels and poetry, travels and gossip, personal details, or anecdotes of any kind, she always made exactly the remarks which are expected from an agreeable listener; and she had sense enough to confine herself to those short expressions of wonder, admiration, and astonishment, which may mean anything, when more recondite things were talked about.
Mrs. Kirkpatrick was thrilled to accept Lady Cumnor's invitation. It was what she had hoped for but hardly dared to expect, as she thought the family would be settled in London for quite a while. The Towers was a lovely, luxurious place for her to spend her holidays, and although she wasn't one to make big plans or look far ahead, she knew that being able to say she had stayed with "dear Lady Cumnor" at the Towers would enhance her image and that of her school in the eyes of many. So, she happily prepared to join her ladyship on the 17th. Her wardrobe didn’t need much arranging; if it had, she wouldn’t have had much money to spare. She was very pretty and graceful, which helped her pull off shabby clothes. It was her taste more than any deep emotions that made her stick to all the delicate colors—the violets and grays—which, with a bit of black, made up half-mourning. This stylish outfit was thought to be in memory of Mr. Kirkpatrick, but in reality, it was both lady-like and economical. Her beautiful hair was a rich auburn that rarely turns gray, and partly because she was aware of its beauty and partly because washing caps is expensive, she didn’t wear anything on her head. Her complexion had the vibrant tones often seen with hair that has once been red; the only change her skin showed with age was that the coloring was more brilliant than delicate and varied less with her emotions. She could no longer blush, which she had been very proud of at eighteen. Her eyes were soft, large, and blue; they didn’t show much expression or shadow, perhaps due to the light color of her eyelashes. Her figure was a little fuller than before, but her movements remained as soft and graceful as ever. Overall, she looked much younger than her age, which was close to forty. She had a pleasant voice and read aloud well and clearly, which Lady Cumnor appreciated. For some inexplicable reason, she was a bigger favorite with Lady Cumnor than with the rest of the family, though they all liked her to a point and found it useful to have someone around who understood their ways and habits; she was ready to chat when needed, willing to listen, and could listen with decent intelligence—unless the topics were serious literature, science, politics, or social issues. When it came to novels, poetry, travel, gossip, personal stories, or anecdotes, she always made the right comments expected from an enjoyable listener; she was smart enough to stick to short expressions of wonder, admiration, and surprise, which could mean anything when deeper topics were brought up.
It was a very pleasant change to a poor unsuccessful schoolmistress to leave her own house, full of battered and shabby furniture (she had taken the good-will and furniture of her predecessor at a valuation, two or three years before), where the look-out was as gloomy, and the surrounding as squalid, as is often the case in the smaller streets of a country town, and to come bowling through the Towers Park in the luxurious carriage sent to meet her; to alight, and feel secure that the well-trained servants would see after her bags, and umbrella, and parasol, and cloak, without her loading herself with all these portable articles, as she had had to do while following the wheelbarrow containing her luggage in going to the Ashcombe coach-office that morning; to pass up the deep-piled carpets of the broad shallow stairs into my lady's own room, cool and deliciously fresh, even on this sultry day, and fragrant with great bowls of freshly gathered roses of every shade of colour. There were two or three new novels lying uncut on the table; the daily papers, the magazines. Every chair was an easy-chair of some kind or other; and all covered with French chintz that mimicked the real flowers in the garden below. She was familiar with the bedroom called hers, to which she was soon ushered by Lady Cumnor's maid. It seemed to her far more like home than the dingy place she had left that morning; it was so natural to her to like dainty draperies, and harmonious colouring, and fine linen, and soft raiment. She sate down in the arm-chair by the bed-side, and wondered over her fate something in this fashion—
It was a refreshing change for a struggling schoolteacher to leave her own house, filled with worn-out and shabby furniture (she had accepted the goodwill and furniture of her predecessor a couple of years ago), where the view was bleak and the surroundings as rundown as often found in the side streets of a small town. Instead, she rode through Towers Park in the luxurious carriage that had come to pick her up; she got out, knowing that the well-trained staff would take care of her bags, umbrella, parasol, and coat, without her having to carry all these items like she had when she followed the wheelbarrow with her luggage to the Ashcombe coach office that morning. She walked up the plush carpets on the wide, shallow stairs into her lady's own room, which felt cool and pleasantly fresh even on this hot day, filled with the scent of large bowls of freshly picked roses in every color. There were a couple of new novels on the table, still uncut; the daily papers and magazines. Every chair was a comfy chair of some sort, all covered in French chintz that mimicked the real flowers in the garden below. She was familiar with the bedroom marked as hers, which she was soon shown into by Lady Cumnor's maid. It felt much more like home than the dreary place she had left that morning; she naturally gravitated towards the delicate draperies, harmonious colors, fine linens, and soft fabrics. She sat down in the armchair by the bedside and pondered her fate in this manner—
"One would think it was an easy enough thing to deck a looking-glass like that with muslin and pink ribbons; and yet how hard it is to keep it up! People don't know how hard it is till they've tried as I have. I made my own glass just as pretty when I first went to Ashcombe; but the muslin got dirty, and the pink ribbons faded, and it is so difficult to earn money to renew them; and when one has got the money one hasn't the heart to spend it all at once. One thinks and one thinks how one can get the most good out of it; and a new gown, or a day's pleasure, or some hot-house fruit, or some piece of elegance that can be seen and noticed in one's drawing-room, carries the day, and good-by to prettily decked looking-glasses. Now here, money is like the air they breathe. No one even asks or knows how much the washing costs, or what pink ribbon is a yard. Ah! it would be different if they had to earn every penny as I have! They would have to calculate, like me, how to get the most pleasure out of it. I wonder if I am to go on all my life toiling and moiling for money? It's not natural. Marriage is the natural thing; then the husband has all that kind of dirty work to do, and his wife sits in the drawing-room like a lady. I did, when poor Kirkpatrick was alive. Heigho! it's a sad thing to be a widow."
"One might think it’s an easy task to decorate a mirror with fabric and pink ribbons, but it’s surprisingly hard to maintain! People don't realize how tough it is until they've tried it like I have. I made my own mirror just as pretty when I first moved to Ashcombe; but the fabric got dirty, and the pink ribbons faded, and it's really difficult to earn money to replace them. And when you finally have the money, you don’t want to spend it all at once. You consider how to get the most value out of it; a new dress, a day of fun, some exotic fruit, or a decorative item that stands out in your living room takes priority, and the nicely decorated mirrors get forgotten. Here, money is like the air they breathe. No one even asks or knows how much laundry costs or the price of pink ribbon by the yard. Ah! It would be different if they had to earn every penny like I do! They’d have to think, like me, about how to enjoy it the most. I wonder if I will spend my whole life working hard just to make money? It doesn’t feel right. Marriage is the natural way; then the husband handles all that kind of mundane work, and his wife relaxes in the living room like a lady. I did when poor Kirkpatrick was alive. Sigh! It’s a sad thing to be a widow."
Then there was the contrast between the dinners which she had to share with her scholars at Ashcombe—rounds of beef, legs of mutton, great dishes of potatoes, and large batter-puddings, with the tiny meal of exquisitely cooked delicacies, sent up on old Chelsea china, that was served every day to the earl and countess and herself at the Towers. She dreaded the end of her holidays as much as the most home-loving of her pupils. But at this time that end was some weeks off, so Clare shut her eyes to the future, and tried to relish the present to its fullest extent. A disturbance to the pleasant, even course of the summer days came in the indisposition of Lady Cumnor. Her husband had gone back to London, and she and Mrs. Kirkpatrick had been left to the very even tenor of life, which was according to my lady's wish just now. In spite of her languor and fatigue, she had gone through the day when the school visitors came to the Towers, in full dignity, dictating clearly all that was to be done, what walks were to be taken, what hothouses to be seen, and when the party were to return to the "collation." She herself remained indoors, with one or two ladies who had ventured to think that the fatigue or the heat might be too much for them, and who had therefore declined accompanying the ladies in charge of Mrs. Kirkpatrick, or those other favoured few to whom Lord Cumnor was explaining the new buildings in his farm-yard. "With the utmost condescension," as her hearers afterwards expressed it, Lady Cumnor told them all about her married daughters' establishments, nurseries, plans for the education of their children, and manner of passing the day. But the exertion tired her; and when every one had left, the probability is that she would have gone to lie down and rest, had not her husband made an unlucky remark in the kindness of his heart. He came up to her and put his hand on her shoulder.
Then there was the contrast between the dinners she had to share with her students at Ashcombe—roast beef, legs of lamb, big bowls of potatoes, and large puddings, compared to the tiny, beautifully prepared meals served daily on old Chelsea china to the earl, countess, and herself at the Towers. She dreaded the end of her holidays as much as her most home-loving pupils did. But at that moment, the end was still weeks away, so Clare closed her eyes to the future and tried to enjoy the present as much as possible. A disruption to the pleasant, steady flow of summer days came with Lady Cumnor's illness. Her husband had returned to London, leaving her and Mrs. Kirkpatrick to continue their usual routine, which was exactly what my lady wanted. Despite her fatigue and weakness, she managed the day when school visitors came to the Towers with full dignity, clearly directing everything that needed to be done, including which paths to walk, which greenhouses to visit, and when the group was to come back for the "collation." She stayed inside with a couple of ladies who thought the fatigue or heat might be too much for them and chose not to join those being led by Mrs. Kirkpatrick or the select few with Lord Cumnor, who was showing them around his new barn buildings. "With the utmost condescension," as her listeners later described it, Lady Cumnor shared all about her married daughters’ households, nurseries, plans for their children’s education, and how they spent their days. But the effort wore her out; after everyone had left, she likely would have rested if her husband hadn’t made an unfortunate comment in his kindness. He approached her and placed his hand on her shoulder.
"I'm afraid you're sadly tired, my lady?" he said.
"I'm afraid you're really tired, my lady?" he said.
She braced her muscles, and drew herself up, saying coldly,—
She tensed her muscles and stood tall, saying coldly, —
"When I am tired, Lord Cumnor, I will tell you so." And her fatigue showed itself during the rest of the evening in her sitting particularly upright, and declining all offers of easy-chairs or foot-stools, and refusing the insult of a suggestion that they should all go to bed earlier. She went on in something of this kind of manner as long as Lord Cumnor remained at the Towers. Mrs. Kirkpatrick was quite deceived by it, and kept assuring Lord Cumnor that she had never seen dear Lady Cumnor looking better, or so strong. But he had an affectionate heart, if a blundering head; and though he could give no reason for his belief, he was almost certain his wife was not well. Yet he was too much afraid of her to send for Mr. Gibson without her permission. His last words to Clare were—
"When I'm tired, Lord Cumnor, I'll let you know." And her exhaustion was evident throughout the rest of the evening as she sat particularly straight, turning down all offers of comfy chairs or footstools, and rejecting the suggestion that they all should head to bed earlier. She maintained this sort of behavior for as long as Lord Cumnor was at the Towers. Mrs. Kirkpatrick was completely fooled by it and kept telling Lord Cumnor that she had never seen dear Lady Cumnor looking better or stronger. But he had a loving heart, even if he was a bit clueless; and although he couldn’t pinpoint why, he felt almost certain that his wife wasn’t well. Still, he was too afraid of her to ask Mr. Gibson to come without her permission. His last words to Clare were—
"It's such a comfort to leave my lady to you; only don't you be deluded by her ways. She'll not show she's ill till she can't help it. Consult with Bradley" (Lady Cumnor's "own woman,"—she disliked the new-fangledness of "lady's-maid"); "and if I were you, I'd send and ask Gibson to call—you might make any kind of a pretence,"—and then the idea he had had in London of the fitness of a match between the two coming into his head just now, he could not help adding,—"Get him to come and see you, he's a very agreeable man; Lord Hollingford says there's no one like him in these parts: and he might be looking at my lady while he was talking to you, and see if he thinks her really ill. And let me know what he says about her."
"It's such a relief to leave my lady in your care; just don’t be fooled by her behavior. She won’t admit she’s not well until she absolutely has to. Talk to Bradley" (Lady Cumnor's "own woman,"—she didn't like the modern term "lady's-maid"); "and if I were you, I’d ask Gibson to come by—you could come up with any excuse,"—and then the thought he had in London about how well the two of them would match popped into his mind just now, so he couldn’t help adding,—"Have him come and visit you, he’s a really nice guy; Lord Hollingford says there’s no one like him around here: and he could check on my lady while he’s chatting with you, to see if he thinks she’s really unwell. And let me know what he says about her."
But Clare was just as great a coward about doing anything for Lady Cumnor which she had not expressly ordered, as Lord Cumnor himself. She knew she might fall into such disgrace if she sent for Mr. Gibson without direct permission, that she might never be asked to stay at the Towers again; and the life there, monotonous in its smoothness of luxury as it might be to some, was exactly to her taste. She in her turn tried to put upon Bradley the duty which Lord Cumnor had put upon her.
But Clare was just as much of a coward about doing anything for Lady Cumnor that she hadn't specifically been told to do, just like Lord Cumnor himself. She knew she could get into big trouble if she called for Mr. Gibson without direct permission, to the point where she might never be invited back to the Towers again; and even though life there might seem dull in its smooth luxury to some, it was exactly what she liked. She, in turn, tried to pass on the responsibility that Lord Cumnor had given her to Bradley.
"Mrs. Bradley," she said one day, "are you quite comfortable about my lady's health? Lord Cumnor fancied that she was looking worn and ill?"
"Mrs. Bradley," she said one day, "are you really sure about my lady's health? Lord Cumnor thought she seemed tired and unwell?"
"Indeed, Mrs. Kirkpatrick, I don't think my lady is herself. I can't persuade myself as she is, though if you was to question me till night I couldn't tell you why."
"Honestly, Mrs. Kirkpatrick, I don't think my lady is herself. I can't convince myself that she is, but even if you asked me all night, I couldn't explain why."
"Don't you think you could make some errand to Hollingford, and see Mr. Gibson, and ask him to come round this way some day, and make a call on Lady Cumnor?"
"Don’t you think you could run an errand to Hollingford, see Mr. Gibson, and ask him to come by here one day to visit Lady Cumnor?"
"It would be as much as my place is worth, Mrs. Kirkpatrick. Till my lady's dying day, if Providence keeps her in her senses, she'll have everything done her own way, or not at all. There's only Lady Harriet that can manage her the least, and she not always."
"It would be about the same value as my house, Mrs. Kirkpatrick. Until my lady passes away, as long as Providence keeps her in her right mind, she’ll insist that everything is done her way, or not at all. Only Lady Harriet can manage her even a little, and that's not all the time."
"Well, then—we must hope that there is nothing the matter with her; and I daresay there is not. She says there is not, and she ought to know best herself."
"Well, we should hope that nothing is wrong with her; and I’m sure there isn’t. She says there isn't, and she should know best."
But a day or two after this conversation took place, Lady Cumnor startled Mrs. Kirkpatrick, by saying suddenly,—"Clare, I wish you'd write a note to Mr. Gibson, saying I should like to see him this afternoon. I thought he would have called of himself before now. He ought to have done so, to pay his respects."
But a day or two after this conversation happened, Lady Cumnor surprised Mrs. Kirkpatrick by saying out of the blue, "Clare, I need you to write a note to Mr. Gibson, saying I’d like to see him this afternoon. I thought he would have come by on his own by now. He should have done so to pay his respects."
Mr. Gibson had been far too busy in his profession to have time for mere visits of ceremony, though he knew quite well he was neglecting what was expected of him. But the district of which he may be said to have had medical charge was full of a bad kind of low fever, which took up all his time and thought, and often made him very thankful that Molly was out of the way in the quiet shades of Hamley.
Mr. Gibson had been way too busy with his work to squeeze in any socially obligatory visits, even though he was fully aware he was ignoring what people expected from him. However, the area he was responsible for medically was suffering from a nasty outbreak of low fever, which consumed all his time and attention, and often made him really grateful that Molly was out of the chaos, enjoying the peaceful surroundings of Hamley.
His domestic "rows" had not healed over in the least, though he was obliged to put the perplexities on one side for the time. The last drop—the final straw, had been an impromptu visit of Lord Hollingford's, whom he had met in the town one forenoon. They had had a good deal to say to each other about some new scientific discovery, with the details of which Lord Hollingford was well acquainted, while Mr. Gibson was ignorant and deeply interested. At length Lord Hollingford said suddenly,—
His domestic issues hadn’t healed at all, even though he had to set them aside for now. The last straw had been an unexpected visit from Lord Hollingford, whom he had run into in town one morning. They talked a lot about a new scientific discovery that Lord Hollingford knew a lot about, while Mr. Gibson was completely in the dark but very intrigued. Finally, Lord Hollingford saidsuddenly—
"Gibson, I wonder if you'd give me some lunch; I've been a good deal about since my seven-o'clock breakfast, and am getting quite ravenous."
"Gibson, I was wondering if you could grab me some lunch; I've been up since my seven o'clock breakfast and I'm getting pretty hungry."
Now Mr. Gibson was only too much pleased to show hospitality to one whom he liked and respected so much as Lord Hollingford, and he gladly took him home with him to the early family dinner. But it was just at the time when the cook was sulking at Bethia's dismissal—and she chose to be unpunctual and careless. There was no successor to Bethia as yet appointed to wait at the meals. So, though Mr. Gibson knew well that bread-and-cheese, cold beef, or the simplest food available, would have been welcome to the hungry lord, he could not get either these things for luncheon, or even the family dinner, at anything like the proper time, in spite of all his ringing, and as much anger as he liked to show, for fear of making Lord Hollingford uncomfortable. At last dinner was ready, but the poor host saw the want of nicety—almost the want of cleanliness, in all its accompaniments—dingy plate, dull-looking glass, a table-cloth that, if not absolutely dirty, was anything but fresh in its splashed and rumpled condition, and compared it in his own mind with the dainty delicacy with which even a loaf of brown bread was served up at his guest's home. He did not apologize directly, but, after dinner, just as they were parting, he said,—"You see a man like me—a widower—with a daughter who cannot always be at home—has not the regulated household which would enable me to command the small portions of time I can spend there."
Now Mr. Gibson was more than happy to show hospitality to someone he liked and respected as much as Lord Hollingford, and he gladly took him home for an early family dinner. However, it was just at the time when the cook was sulking over Bethia's dismissal—and she decided to be late and careless. There was no one appointed yet to take Bethia's place at the meals. So, even though Mr. Gibson knew that bread-and-cheese, cold beef, or the simplest food would have been welcome to the hungry lord, he couldn't get any of those things for lunch or even the family dinner at the right time, despite all his ringing and showing as much annoyance as he could without making Lord Hollingford uncomfortable. Finally, dinner was ready, but the poor host noticed the lack of neatness—almost a lack of cleanliness—in everything that accompanied it—dingy plates, dull-looking glasses, a tablecloth that, if not actually dirty, was anything but fresh in its splashed and rumpled state. He compared it in his mind to the delicate way even a loaf of brown bread was served at his guest’s home. He didn’t apologize directly, but just as they were parting after dinner, he said, “You see, a man like me—a widower—with a daughter who can’t always be at home—doesn't have the kind of household that allows me to manage the little time I can spend there.”
He made no allusion to the comfortless meal of which they had both partaken, though it was full in his mind. Nor was it absent from Lord Hollingford's as he made reply,—
He didn't mention the uncomfortable meal they had both eaten, even though it was on his mind. It was also on Lord Hollingford's mind as he replied,—
"True, true. Yet a man like you ought to be free from any thought of household cares. You ought to have somebody. How old is Miss Gibson?"
"That's true. Still, a man like you shouldn't be bogged down by household worries. You should have someone to help. How old is Miss Gibson?"
"Seventeen. It's a very awkward age for a motherless girl."
"Seventeen. It's a really awkward age for a girl without a mom."
"Yes; very. I have only boys, but it must be very awkward with a girl. Excuse me, Gibson, but we're talking like friends. Have you never thought of marrying again? It wouldn't be like a first marriage, of course; but if you found a sensible, agreeable woman of thirty or so, I really think you couldn't do better than take her to manage your home, and so save you either discomfort or worry; and, besides, she would be able to give your daughter that kind of tender supervision which, I fancy, all girls of that age require. It's a delicate subject, but you'll excuse my having spoken frankly."
"Yes, very much. I only have boys, but it must be really awkward with a girl. Sorry, Gibson, but we’re talking like friends here. Have you ever thought about getting married again? It wouldn’t be like your first marriage, of course, but if you found a sensible, likable woman around thirty, I genuinely think you’d be better off bringing her in to manage your home, which would save you from discomfort or worry. Plus, she could offer your daughter the kind of gentle support that I believe all girls that age need. It's a sensitive topic, but I hope you don't mind me being so direct."
Mr. Gibson had thought of this advice several times since it was given; but it was a case of "first catch your hare." Where was the "sensible and agreeable woman of thirty or so?" Not Miss Browning, nor Miss Phœbe, nor Miss Goodenough. Among his country patients there were two classes pretty distinctly marked: farmers, whose children were unrefined and uneducated; squires, whose daughters would, indeed, think the world was coming to a pretty pass, if they were to marry a country surgeon.
Mr. Gibson had thought about this advice several times since he received it, but it was a case of "first catch your hare." Where was the "sensible and agreeable woman of around thirty?" Not Miss Browning, nor Miss Phœbe, nor Miss Goodenough. Among his country patients, there were two clearly defined groups: farmers, whose children were unrefined and uneducated; and squire families, whose daughters would definitely think it was a big deal if they were to marry a country surgeon.
But the first day on which Mr. Gibson paid his visit to Lady Cumnor, he began to think it possible that Mrs. Kirkpatrick was his "hare." He rode away with slack rein, thinking over what he knew of her, more than about the prescriptions he should write, or the way he was going. He remembered her as a very pretty Miss Clare: the governess who had the scarlet fever; that was in his wife's days, a long time ago; he could hardly understand Mrs. Kirkpatrick's youthfulness of appearance when he thought how long. Then he had heard of her marriage to a curate; and the next day (or so it seemed, he could not recollect the exact duration of the interval), of his death. He knew, in some way, that she had been living ever since as a governess in different families; but that she had always been a great favourite with the family at the Towers, for whom, quite independent of their rank, he had a true respect. A year or two ago he had heard that she had taken the good-will of a school at Ashcombe; a small town close to another property of Lord Cumnor's, in the same county. Ashcombe was a larger estate than that near Hollingford, but the old Manor-house there was not nearly so good a residence as the Towers; so it was given up to Mr. Preston, the land-agent for the Ashcombe property, just as Mr. Sheepshanks was for that at Hollingford. There were a few rooms at the Manor-house reserved for the occasional visits of the family, otherwise Mr. Preston, a handsome young bachelor, had it all to himself. Mr. Gibson knew that Mrs. Kirkpatrick had one child, a daughter, who must be much about the same age as Molly. Of course she had very little, if any, property. But he himself had lived carefully, and had a few thousands well invested; besides which, his professional income was good, and increasing rather than diminishing every year. By the time he had arrived at this point in his consideration of the case, he was at the house of the next patient on his round, and he put away all thought of matrimony and Mrs. Kirkpatrick for the time. Once again, in the course of the day, he remembered with a certain pleasure that Molly had told him some little details connected with her unlucky detention at the Towers five or six years ago, which had made him feel at the time as if Mrs. Kirkpatrick had behaved very kindly to his little girl. So there the matter rested for the present, as far as he was concerned.
But on the first day Mr. Gibson visited Lady Cumnor, he started to think it was possible that Mrs. Kirkpatrick was his "special interest." He rode away with a relaxed grip on the reins, reflecting more on what he knew about her than on the prescriptions he needed to write or where he was headed. He remembered her as a very pretty Miss Clare: the governess who had gotten scarlet fever; that was during his wife's time, a long while back; he could hardly grasp Mrs. Kirkpatrick's youthful appearance when he thought about how much time had passed. Then he had heard about her marrying a curate, and the next day (or so it seemed; he couldn't quite recall the exact timeline), he heard of his death. He knew, somehow, that she had been working as a governess in various families ever since; she had always been a favorite with the family at the Towers, whom he respected greatly, regardless of their status. A year or two ago, he had learned that she had acquired the goodwill of a school in Ashcombe, a small town near another of Lord Cumnor’s properties in the same county. Ashcombe was a larger estate than the one near Hollingford, but the old Manor-house there wasn’t nearly as nice a place to live as the Towers; it was handed over to Mr. Preston, the land-agent for the Ashcombe property, just as Mr. Sheepshanks managed the one at Hollingford. There were a few rooms at the Manor-house reserved for the family’s occasional visits; otherwise, Mr. Preston, a handsome young bachelor, had it all to himself. Mr. Gibson knew that Mrs. Kirkpatrick had one child, a daughter, who must be around the same age as Molly. Of course, she had very little, if any, money. But he had lived carefully and had a few thousand well invested; in addition, his professional income was good and increasing rather than decreasing every year. By the time he reached this point in his thoughts, he had arrived at the house of his next patient, and he set aside all thoughts of marriage and Mrs. Kirkpatrick for the moment. Once again, throughout the day, he remembered with some pleasure that Molly had shared a few little details about her unfortunate stay at the Towers five or six years ago, which had made him feel at the time that Mrs. Kirkpatrick had treated his little girl very kindly. So for now, that was where things stood for him.
Lady Cumnor was out of health; but not so ill as she had been fancying herself during all those days when the people about her dared not send for the doctor. It was a great relief to her to have Mr. Gibson to decide for her what she was to do; what to eat, drink, avoid. Such decisions ab extra, are sometimes a wonderful relief to those whose habit it has been to decide, not only for themselves, but for every one else; and occasionally the relaxation of the strain which a character for infallible wisdom brings with it, does much to restore health. Mrs. Kirkpatrick thought in her secret soul that she had never found it so easy to get on with Lady Cumnor; and Bradley and she had never done singing the praises of Mr. Gibson, "who always managed my lady so beautifully."
Lady Cumnor wasn't feeling well, but she wasn't as sick as she had been imagining during all those days when those around her were too hesitant to call the doctor. It was a huge relief for her to have Mr. Gibson to make decisions for her about what she should do, what to eat, drink, or avoid. Such decisions made by someone else can be a great relief for those who are used to deciding not only for themselves but for everyone else too; sometimes, letting go of the pressure that comes with being seen as infallibly wise can really help improve one's health. Mrs. Kirkpatrick secretly thought that she had never found it so easy to get along with Lady Cumnor, and she and Bradley never stopped praising Mr. Gibson, "who always managed my lady so beautifully."
Reports were duly sent up to my lord, but he and his daughters were strictly forbidden to come down. Lady Cumnor wished to be weak and languid, and uncertain both in body and mind, without family observation. It was a condition so different to anything she had ever been in before, that she was unconsciously afraid of losing her prestige, if she was seen in it. Sometimes she herself wrote the daily bulletins; at other times she bade Clare do it, but she would always see the letters. Any answers she received from her daughters she used to read herself, occasionally imparting some of their contents to "that good Clare." But anybody might read my lord's letters. There was no great fear of family secrets oozing out in his sprawling lines of affection. But once Mrs. Kirkpatrick came upon a sentence in a letter from Lord Cumnor, which she was reading out loud to his wife, that caught her eye before she came to it, and if she could have skipped it and kept it for private perusal, she would gladly have done so. My lady was too sharp for her, though. In her opinion "Clare was a good creature, but not clever," the truth being that she was not always quick at resources, though tolerably unscrupulous in the use of them.
Reports were sent up to my lord, but he and his daughters were strictly told not to come down. Lady Cumnor wanted to be weak and fragile, unsure both physically and mentally, without family watching. It was a situation so different from anything she had experienced before that she was unconsciously afraid of losing her status if she was seen in it. Sometimes she wrote the daily updates herself; other times she asked Clare to do it, but she always checked the letters. She read any responses she received from her daughters on her own, occasionally sharing some of the details with "that good Clare." But anyone could read my lord's letters. There wasn’t much worry about family secrets leaking out in his sprawling messages of affection. However, once Mrs. Kirkpatrick came across a sentence in a letter from Lord Cumnor while reading it aloud to his wife, and she noticed it before she reached it. If she could have skipped it and kept it for private reading, she would have happily done so. My lady was too sharp for her, though. She thought "Clare was a good person, but not very bright," the truth being that she wasn’t always quick on her feet, although she was fairly unscrupulous in how she used her resources.
"Read on. What are you stopping for? There is no bad news, is there, about Agnes?—Give me the letter."
"Keep reading. Why are you stopping? There isn't any bad news about Agnes, is there?—Hand me the letter."
Lady Cumnor read, half aloud,—
Lady Cumnor read, half out loud,—
"'How are Clare and Gibson getting on? You despised my advice to help on that affair, but I really think a little match-making would be a very pleasant amusement now that you are shut up in the house; and I cannot conceive any marriage more suitable.'"
"'How are Clare and Gibson doing? You hated my suggestion to get involved in that situation, but I honestly think a bit of matchmaking would be a fun distraction now that you're stuck at home; and I can't imagine a marriage that would be more fitting.'"
"Oh!" said Lady Cumnor, laughing, "it was awkward for you to come upon that, Clare: I don't wonder you stopped short. You gave me a terrible fright, though."
"Oh!" said Lady Cumnor, laughing, "that was awkward for you to walk in on, Clare: I’m not surprised you froze. You really scared me, though."
"Lord Cumnor is so fond of joking," said Mrs. Kirkpatrick, a little flurried, yet quite recognizing the truth of his last words,—"I cannot conceive any marriage more suitable." She wondered what Lady Cumnor thought of it. Lord Cumnor wrote as if there was really a chance. It was not an unpleasant idea; it brought a faint smile out upon her face, as she sat by Lady Cumnor, while the latter took her afternoon nap.
"Lord Cumnor loves to joke," said Mrs. Kirkpatrick, feeling a bit flustered but fully aware of the truth in his last comment, "I can't imagine a more suitable marriage." She was curious about what Lady Cumnor thought of it. Lord Cumnor wrote as if there was actually a possibility. It wasn't an unwelcome thought; it brought a slight smile to her face as she sat beside Lady Cumnor, who was taking her afternoon nap.
CHAPTER X.
A CRISIS.
rs. Kirkpatrick
had been reading aloud till Lady Cumnor fell asleep,
the book rested on her knee, just kept from falling by her hold. She
was looking out of the window, not seeing the trees in the park, nor
the glimpses of the hills beyond, but thinking how pleasant it would
be to have a husband once more;—some one who would work while she
sate at her elegant ease in a prettily-furnished drawing-room; and
she was rapidly investing this imaginary breadwinner with the form
and features of the country surgeon, when there was a slight tap at
the door, and almost before she could rise, the object of her
thoughts came in. She felt herself blush, and she was not displeased
at the consciousness. She advanced to meet him, making a sign towards
her sleeping ladyship.
Mrs. Kirkpatrick had been reading aloud until Lady Cumnor fell asleep, the book resting on her lap, just held up by her grip. She was looking out the window, not really seeing the trees in the park or the distant hills, but thinking how nice it would be to have a husband again—someone who would work while she relaxed in a nicely decorated drawing room. She quickly started imagining this ideal partner taking on the shape and face of the country surgeon when there was a soft knock at the door, and almost before she could get up, the person she was thinking about walked in. She felt herself blush, and she wasn't unhappy about it. She stepped forward to greet him, gesturing to her sleeping ladyship.
"Very good," said he, in a low voice, casting a professional eye on the slumbering figure; "can I speak to you for a minute or two in the library?"
"Very good," he said quietly, looking closely at the sleeping figure. "Can I talk to you for a minute or two in the library?"
"Is he going to offer?" thought she, with a sudden palpitation, and a conviction of her willingness to accept a man whom an hour before she had simply looked upon as one of the category of unmarried men to whom matrimony was possible.
"Is he going to propose?" she thought, her heart racing, realizing that she was ready to accept a man she had only considered an hour earlier as just one of those unmarried guys for whom marriage was a possibility.
He was only going to make one or two medical inquiries; she found that out very speedily, and considered the conversation as rather flat to her, though it might be instructive to him. She was not aware that he finally made up his mind to propose, during the time that she was speaking—answering his questions in many words, but he was accustomed to winnow the chaff from the corn; and her voice was so soft, her accent so pleasant, that it struck him as particularly agreeable after the broad country accent he was perpetually hearing. Then the harmonious colours of her dress, and her slow and graceful movements, had something of the same soothing effect upon his nerves that a cat's purring has upon some people's. He began to think that he should be fortunate if he could win her, for his own sake. Yesterday he had looked upon her more as a possible stepmother for Molly; to-day he thought more of her as a wife for himself. The remembrance of Lord Cumnor's letter gave her a very becoming consciousness; she wished to attract, and hoped that she was succeeding. Still they only talked of the countess's state for some time: then a lucky shower came on. Mr. Gibson did not care a jot for rain, but just now it gave him an excuse for lingering.
He was only going to ask one or two medical questions; she realized that quickly and found the conversation pretty dull, even if it might be interesting for him. She didn’t know that he had finally decided to propose while she was talking—answering his questions with a lot of words, but he was good at sifting through the unnecessary details; her voice was so soft, and her accent so pleasant, that it felt especially nice after the heavy country accents he constantly heard. The beautiful colors of her dress and her slow, graceful movements had a calming effect on him, similar to how some people feel when a cat purrs. He started to think he would be lucky if he could win her over for his own sake. Yesterday, he had seen her more as a potential stepmother for Molly; today, he viewed her more as a possible wife for himself. The memory of Lord Cumnor's letter gave her a flattering awareness; she wanted to attract him and hoped she was succeeding. Still, they only talked about the countess's condition for a while: then a fortunate shower started. Mr. Gibson didn’t mind the rain at all, but it gave him a reason to hang around a little longer.
"It's very stormy weather," said he.
"It's really stormy outside," he said.
"Yes, very. My daughter writes me word, that for two days last week the packet could not sail from Boulogne."
"Yes, very much. My daughter told me that for two days last week, the ship couldn't leave Boulogne."
"Miss Kirkpatrick is at Boulogne, is she?"
"Miss Kirkpatrick is in Boulogne, right?"
"Yes, poor girl; she is at school there, trying to perfect herself in the French language. But, Mr. Gibson, you must not call her Miss Kirkpatrick. Cynthia remembers you with so much—affection, I may say. She was your little patient when she had the measles here four years ago, you know. Pray call her Cynthia; she would be quite hurt at such a formal name as Miss Kirkpatrick from you."
"Yes, the poor girl; she’s at school there, trying to improve her French. But, Mr. Gibson, you shouldn’t call her Miss Kirkpatrick. Cynthia thinks of you with so much—affection, I can say. She was your little patient when she had the measles here four years ago, you know. Please call her Cynthia; she would feel quite hurt by such a formal name as Miss Kirkpatrick from you."
"Cynthia seems to me such an out-of-the-way name, only fit for poetry, not for daily use."
"Cynthia feels like a unique name, more suited for poetry than everyday life."
"It is mine," said Mrs. Kirkpatrick, in a plaintive tone of reproach. "I was christened Hyacinth, and her poor father would have her called after me. I'm sorry you don't like it."
"It’s mine," Mrs. Kirkpatrick said with a sad tone of reproach. "I was named Hyacinth, and her poor father wanted to name her after me. I’m sorry you don’t like it."
Mr. Gibson did not know what to say. He was not quite prepared to plunge into the directly personal style. While he was hesitating, she went on—
Mr. Gibson didn't know what to say. He wasn't really ready to dive into such a personal conversation. While he was hesitating, she went on—
"Hyacinth Clare! Once upon a time I was quite proud of my pretty name; and other people thought it pretty, too."
"Hyacinth Clare! There was a time when I was really proud of my beautiful name, and others thought it was beautiful as well."
"I've no doubt—" Mr. Gibson began; and then stopped.
"I have no doubt—" Mr. Gibson started; and then paused.
"Perhaps I did wrong in yielding to his wish, to have her called by such a romantic name. It may excite prejudice against her in some people; and, poor child! she will have enough to struggle with. A young daughter is a great charge, Mr. Gibson, especially when there is only one parent to look after her."
"Maybe I was wrong to give in to his request to call her such a romantic name. It could create bias against her in some people; and, poor thing! she will have enough to deal with. A young daughter is a big responsibility, Mr. Gibson, especially when there’s only one parent to take care of her."
"You are quite right," said he, recalled to the remembrance of Molly; "though I should have thought that a girl who is so fortunate as to have a mother could not feel the loss of her father so acutely as one who is motherless must suffer from her deprivation."
"You’re absolutely right," he said, reminded of Molly. "I would’ve thought that a girl who is lucky enough to have a mother wouldn’t feel the loss of her father as intensely as one who has no mother must suffer from that lack."
"You are thinking of your own daughter. It was careless of me to say what I did. Dear child! how well I remember her sweet little face as she lay sleeping on my bed. I suppose she is nearly grown-up now. She must be near my Cynthia's age. How I should like to see her!"
"You’re thinking about your own daughter. It was thoughtless of me to say what I did. Poor thing! I remember her cute little face so clearly as she slept on my bed. I guess she’s almost grown up now. She must be around my Cynthia's age. I would love to see her!"
"I hope you will. I should like you to see her. I should like you to love my poor little Molly,—to love her as your own—" He swallowed down something that rose in his throat, and was nearly choking him.
"I hope you will. I'd really like you to meet her. I would love for you to care for my poor little Molly—to love her like your own—" He swallowed hard, trying to force down something that was rising in his throat, nearly choking him.
"Is he going to offer? Is he?" she wondered; and she began to tremble in the suspense before he next spoke.
"Is he going to offer? Is he?" she wondered, and she started to shake with the anticipation as she waited for him to speak again.
"Could you love her as your daughter? Will you try? Will you give me the right of introducing you to her as her future mother; as my wife?"
"Could you love her like your own daughter? Will you give it a try? Will you let me introduce you to her as her future mother and my wife?"
There! he had done it—whether it was wise or foolish—he had done it! but he was aware that the question as to its wisdom came into his mind the instant that the words were said past recall.
There! He had done it—whether it was smart or stupid—he had done it! But he realized that the question of whether it was smart popped into his head the moment the words were said and couldn't be taken back.
She hid her face in her hands.
She covered her face with her hands.
"Oh! Mr. Gibson," she said; and then, a little to his surprise, and a great deal to her own, she burst into hysterical tears: it was such a wonderful relief to feel that she need not struggle any more for a livelihood.
"Oh! Mr. Gibson," she said; and then, to his surprise and a lot to her own, she suddenly burst into hysterical tears: it was such a huge relief to know that she didn't have to struggle anymore for a living.
"My dear—my dearest," said he, trying to soothe her with word and caress; but, just at the moment, uncertain what name he ought to use. After her sobbing had abated a little, she said herself, as if understanding his difficulty,—
"My dear—my dearest," he said, trying to comfort her with words and gentle touches, but at that moment, unsure which name to use. Once her sobbing had calmed down a bit, she spoke, as if realizing his difficulty, —
"Call me Hyacinth—your own Hyacinth. I can't bear 'Clare,' it does so remind me of being a governess, and those days are all past now."
"Call me Hyacinth—your own Hyacinth. I can't stand 'Clare'; it makes me think of being a governess, and those days are all behind me now."
"Yes; but surely no one can have been more valued, more beloved than you have been in this family at least."
"Yes, but surely no one could have been more valued or loved than you have been in this family, at least."
"Oh, yes! they have been very good. But still one has always had to remember one's position."
"Oh, yes! they've been really good. But still, one has always had to remember their position."
"We ought to tell Lady Cumnor," said he, thinking, perhaps, more of the various duties which lay before him in consequence of the step he had just taken, than of what his future bride was saying.
"We should tell Lady Cumnor," he said, probably thinking more about the various responsibilities that lay ahead of him because of the decision he had just made, rather than what his fiancée was saying.
"You'll tell her, won't you?" said she, looking up in his face with beseeching eyes. "I always like other people to tell her things, and then I can see how she takes them."
"You'll tell her, right?" she said, looking up at his face with pleading eyes. "I always prefer when other people tell her things, and then I can see how she reacts."
"Certainly! I will do whatever you wish. Shall we go and see if she is awake now?"
"Of course! I'll do whatever you want. Should we go check if she's awake now?"
"No! I think not. I had better prepare her. You will come to-morrow, won't you? and you will tell her then."
"No! I don’t think so. I should get her ready. You’ll come tomorrow, right? And you’ll tell her then."
"Yes; that will be best. I ought to tell Molly first. She has the right to know. I do hope you and she will love each other dearly."
"Yes, that sounds like the best plan. I should tell Molly first. She deserves to know. I really hope that you two will love each other a lot."
"Oh, yes! I'm sure we shall. Then you'll come to-morrow and tell Lady Cumnor? And I'll prepare her."
"Oh, for sure! I'm positive we will. So you'll come by tomorrow and let Lady Cumnor know? And I'll get her ready."
"I don't see what preparation is necessary; but you know best, my dear. When can we arrange for you and Molly to meet?"
"I don’t see what preparation is needed, but you know best, my dear. When can we set up a time for you and Molly to meet?"
Just then a servant came in, and the pair started apart.
Just then, a servant walked in, and the two jumped apart.
"Her ladyship is awake, and wishes to see Mr. Gibson."
"She’s awake and wants to see Mr. Gibson."
They both followed the man upstairs; Mrs. Kirkpatrick trying hard to look as if nothing had happened, for she particularly wished "to prepare" Lady Cumnor; that is to say, to give her version of Mr. Gibson's extreme urgency, and her own coy unwillingness.
They both went upstairs after the man, with Mrs. Kirkpatrick making a strong effort to appear as if nothing had happened. She really wanted to "prepare" Lady Cumnor, meaning she wanted to share her take on Mr. Gibson's intense urgency and her own shy reluctance.
But Lady Cumnor had observant eyes in sickness as well as in health. She had gone to sleep with the recollection of the passage in her husband's letter full in her mind, and, perhaps, it gave a direction to her wakening ideas.
But Lady Cumnor had sharp eyes whether she was sick or healthy. She had gone to sleep with the memory of a part of her husband’s letter clearly in her mind, and maybe it influenced her thoughts when she woke up.
"I'm glad you're not gone, Mr. Gibson. I wanted to tell you— What's the matter with you both? What have you been saying to Clare? I'm sure something has happened."
"I'm really glad you're here, Mr. Gibson. I wanted to tell you— What's going on with you two? What have you been saying to Clare? I'm sure something's up."
There was nothing for it, in Mr. Gibson's opinion, but to make a clean breast of it, and tell her ladyship all. He turned round, and took hold of Mrs. Kirkpatrick's hand, and said out straight, "I have been asking Mrs. Kirkpatrick to be my wife, and to be a mother to my child; and she has consented. I hardly know how to thank her enough in words."
There was no other choice, in Mr. Gibson's view, but to come clean and tell her ladyship everything. He turned around, held Mrs. Kirkpatrick's hand, and said directly, "I have asked Mrs. Kirkpatrick to marry me and to be a mother to my child, and she has agreed. I can barely find the words to express my gratitude to her."
"Umph! I don't see any objection. I daresay you'll be very happy. I'm very glad of it! Here! shake hands with me, both of you." Then laughing a little, she added, "It does not seem to me that any exertion has been required on my part."
"Umph! I don’t see any reason to object. I bet you’ll be really happy. I’m so glad for you! Come on! Shake hands with me, both of you." Then, laughing a little, she added, "It doesn’t seem to me that I had to do much at all."
Mr. Gibson looked perplexed at these words. Mrs. Kirkpatrick reddened.
Mr. Gibson looked confused by these words. Mrs. Kirkpatrick flushed.
"Did she not tell you? Oh, then, I must. It's too good a joke to be lost, especially as everything has ended so well. When Lord Cumnor's letter came this morning—this very morning—I gave it to Clare to read aloud to me, and I saw she suddenly came to a full stop, where no full stop could be, and I thought it was something about Agnes, so I took the letter and read—stay! I'll read the sentence to you. Where's the letter, Clare? Oh! don't trouble yourself, here it is. 'How are Clare and Gibson getting on? You despised my advice to help on that affair, but I really think a little match-making would be a very pleasant amusement, now that you are shut up in the house; and I cannot conceive any marriage more suitable.' You see, you have my lord's full approbation. But I must write, and tell him you have managed your own affairs without any interference of mine. Now we'll just have a little medical talk, Mr. Gibson, and then you and Clare shall finish your tête-à-tête."
"Didn't she tell you? Oh, then I have to. It's too good of a joke to miss, especially since everything turned out so well. This morning—just this morning—when Lord Cumnor's letter arrived, I had Clare read it aloud to me, and I noticed she suddenly stopped where there shouldn't have been a stop at all. I thought it was something about Agnes, so I took the letter and read it—wait! I'll read the sentence to you. Where's the letter, Clare? Oh! Don’t worry about it, here it is. 'How are Clare and Gibson getting along? You ignored my advice to help with that situation, but I really think a bit of matchmaking would be a nice way to pass the time, now that you're all cooped up in the house; and I can't imagine a more suitable marriage.' You see, you have my lord's full approval. But I need to write and let him know that you've handled your own affairs without any help from me. Now let's have a little medical chat, Mr. Gibson, and then you and Clare can finish your private conversation."
They were neither of them quite as desirous of further conversation together as they had been before the passage out of Lord Cumnor's letter had been read aloud. Mr. Gibson tried not to think about it, for he was aware that if he dwelt upon it, he might get to fancy all sorts of things, as to the conversation which had ended in his offer. But Lady Cumnor was imperious now, as always.
They both weren't as eager to keep talking as they had been before Lord Cumnor's letter was read aloud. Mr. Gibson tried not to think about it, knowing that if he did, he might start imagining all kinds of scenarios about the conversation that led to his offer. But Lady Cumnor was just as commanding as ever.
"Come, no nonsense. I always made my girls go and have tête-à-têtes with the men who were to be their husbands, whether they would or no: there's a great deal to be talked over before every marriage, and you two are certainly old enough to be above affectation. Go away with you."
"Come on, no nonsense. I always made my girls meet with the men who were going to be their husbands, whether they liked it or not: there's a lot to discuss before any marriage, and you two are definitely old enough to be beyond pretense. Now, off you go."
So there was nothing for it but for them to return to the library; Mrs. Kirkpatrick pouting a little, and Mr. Gibson feeling more like his own cool, sarcastic self, by many degrees, than he had done when last in that room.
So there was no choice but for them to go back to the library; Mrs. Kirkpatrick was sulking a bit, and Mr. Gibson felt much more like his usual cool, sarcastic self than he had when he was last in that room.
She began, half crying,—
She started, half crying—
"I cannot tell what poor Kirkpatrick would say if he knew what I have done. He did so dislike the notion of second marriages, poor fellow!"
"I can’t imagine what poor Kirkpatrick would say if he knew what I’ve done. He really disliked the idea of second marriages, the poor guy!"
"Let us hope that he doesn't know, then; or that, if he does, he is wiser—I mean, that he sees how second marriages may be most desirable and expedient in some cases."
"Let’s hope he doesn’t know, then; or that, if he does, he is wiser—I mean, that he understands how second marriages can be very desirable and practical in some situations."
Altogether, this second tête-à-tête, done to command, was not so satisfactory as the first; and Mr. Gibson was quite alive to the necessity of proceeding on his round to see his patients before very much time had elapsed.
Overall, this second one-on-one meeting, done on demand, wasn't as satisfying as the first; and Mr. Gibson was very aware that he needed to continue his rounds to check on his patients before too much time passed.
"We shall shake down into uniformity before long, I've no doubt," said he to himself, as he rode away. "It's hardly to be expected that our thoughts should run in the same groove all at once. Nor should I like it," he added. "It would be very flat and stagnant to have only an echo of one's own opinions from one's wife. Heigho! I must tell Molly about it: dear little woman, I wonder how she'll take it? It's done, in a great measure, for her good." And then he lost himself in recapitulating Mrs. Kirkpatrick's good qualities, and the advantages to be gained to his daughter from the step he had just taken.
"We'll all fall into line soon enough, I have no doubt," he thought to himself as he rode away. "It's definitely unrealistic to expect our thoughts to align perfectly all at once. And honestly, I wouldn't want that," he added. "It would be pretty dull and stagnant to only hear an echo of my own opinions from my wife. Sigh! I need to tell Molly about this: dear little woman, I wonder how she'll react? It's mostly for her benefit." Then he got lost in recalling Mrs. Kirkpatrick's good qualities and the benefits his daughter would gain from the decision he had just made.
It was too late to go round by Hamley that afternoon. The Towers and the Towers' round lay just in the opposite direction to Hamley. So it was the next morning before Mr. Gibson arrived at the Hall, timing his visit as well as he could so as to have half-an-hour's private talk with Molly before Mrs. Hamley came down into the drawing-room. He thought that his daughter would require sympathy after receiving the intelligence he had to communicate; and he knew there was no one more fit to give it than Mrs. Hamley.
It was too late to go the long way around by Hamley that afternoon. The Towers and their grounds were in the opposite direction from Hamley. So, it was the next morning before Mr. Gibson got to the Hall, trying to time his visit to have a half-hour private talk with Molly before Mrs. Hamley came down to the drawing room. He thought his daughter would need support after hearing the news he had to share, and he knew there was no one better to provide it than Mrs. Hamley.
It was a brilliantly hot summer's morning; men in their shirtsleeves were in the fields getting in the early harvest of oats; as Mr. Gibson rode slowly along, he could see them over the tall hedge-rows, and even hear the soothing measured sound of the fall of the long swathes, as they were mown. The labourers seemed too hot to talk; the dog, guarding their coats and cans, lay panting loudly on the other side of the elm, under which Mr. Gibson stopped for an instant to survey the scene, and gain a little delay before the interview that he wished was well over. In another minute he had snapped at himself for his weakness, and put spurs to his horse. He came up to the Hall at a good sharp trot; it was earlier than the usual time of his visits, and no one was expecting him; all the stable-men were in the fields, but that signified little to Mr. Gibson; he walked his horse about for five minutes or so before taking him into the stable, and loosened his girths, examining him with perhaps unnecessary exactitude. He went into the house by a private door, and made his way into the drawing-room, half expecting, however, that Molly would be in the garden. She had been there, but it was too hot and dazzling now for her to remain out of doors, and she had come in by the open window of the drawing-room. Oppressed with the heat, she had fallen asleep in an easy-chair, her bonnet and open book upon her knee, one arm hanging listlessly down. She looked very soft, and young, and childlike; and a gush of love sprang into her father's heart as he gazed at her.
It was a brilliantly hot summer morning; men in their shirtsleeves were out in the fields, gathering the early harvest of oats. As Mr. Gibson rode slowly along, he could see them over the tall hedgerows and even hear the calming, rhythmic sound of the long swathes of grass being cut. The workers seemed too hot to chat; the dog, watching their coats and cans, lay panting loudly on the other side of the elm tree, where Mr. Gibson paused briefly to take in the scene and bought himself a moment’s delay before the meeting he wished was already over. In a minute, he snapped at himself for his weakness and urged his horse forward. He approached the Hall at a brisk trot; it was earlier than usual for his visits, and no one was expecting him. All the stable hands were out in the fields, but that didn’t matter to Mr. Gibson; he walked his horse around for about five minutes before leading him into the stable, loosening the girths while examining him with perhaps unnecessary detail. He entered the house through a private door and made his way to the drawing room, half-expecting Molly to be in the garden. She had been outside, but it was too hot and bright now for her to stay out, and she had come in through the open window of the drawing room. Overcome by the heat, she had fallen asleep in an easy chair, her bonnet and open book resting on her knee, one arm dangling limply. She looked so soft, young, and innocent; and a wave of love filled her father's heart as he watched her.
"Molly!" said he, gently, taking the little brown hand that was hanging down, and holding it in his own. "Molly!"
"Molly!" he said softly, taking the little brown hand that was hanging down and holding it in his own. "Molly!"
She opened her eyes, that for one moment had no recognition in them. Then the light came brilliantly into them and she sprang up, and threw her arms round his neck, exclaiming,—
She opened her eyes, which for a brief moment showed no recognition. Then the light shone brightly in them, and she jumped up and threw her arms around his neck, shouting,—
"Oh, papa, my dear, dear papa! What made you come while I was asleep? I lose the pleasure of watching for you."
"Oh, Dad, my dear, dear Dad! What made you come while I was asleep? I miss the joy of waiting for you."
Mr. Gibson turned a little paler than he had been before. He still held her hand, and drew her to a seat by him on a sofa, without speaking. There was no need; she was chattering away.
Mr. Gibson turned a bit paler than he had been before. He still held her hand and pulled her down to sit next to him on a sofa, without saying a word. There was no need; she was already chatting away.
"I was up so early! It is so charming to be out here in the fresh morning air. I think that made me sleepy. But isn't it a gloriously hot day? I wonder if the Italian skies they talk about can be bluer than that—that little bit you see just between the oaks—there!"
"I woke up really early! It’s so nice to be out here in the fresh morning air. I think that made me a bit sleepy. But isn’t it a wonderfully hot day? I wonder if the Italian skies they talk about can be more vibrant than that—that little patch you see right between the oaks—there!"
She pulled her hand away, and used both it and the other to turn her father's head, so that he should exactly see the very bit she meant. She was rather struck by his unusual silence.
She pulled her hand away and used both hands to turn her father's head so he could see exactly what she meant. She was a bit taken aback by his unusual silence.
"Have you heard from Miss Eyre, papa? How are they all? And this fever that is about? Do you know, papa, I don't think you are looking well? You want me at home to take care of you. How soon may I come home?"
"Have you heard from Miss Eyre, Dad? How is everyone? And what about this fever going around? You know, Dad, I don't think you look well. You need me at home to take care of you. When can I come home?"
"Don't I look well? That must be all your fancy, goosey. I feel uncommonly well; and I ought to look well, for— I have a piece of news for you, little woman." (He felt that he was doing his business very awkwardly, but he was determined to plunge on.) "Can you guess it?"
"Don't I look good? That must just be your imagination, silly. I feel really great; and I should look great, for— I have some news for you, my dear." (He knew he was handling this pretty awkwardly, but he was set on moving forward.) "Can you guess what it is?"
"How should I?" said she; but her tone was changed, and she was evidently uneasy, as with the presage of an instinct.
"How should I?" she said, but her tone was different, and she clearly felt uneasy, as if sensing something was off.
"Why, you see, my love," said he, again taking her hand, "that you are in a very awkward position—a girl growing up in such a family as mine—young men—which was a piece of confounded stupidity on my part. And I am obliged to be away so much."
"Look, my love," he said, taking her hand again, "you’re in a really tough spot—being a girl raised in a family like mine—young men—which was a huge mistake on my part. And I have to be away so often."
"But there is Miss Eyre," said she, sick with the strengthening indefinite presage of what was to come. "Dear Miss Eyre, I want nothing but her and you."
"But there's Miss Eyre," she said, feeling sick with the growing feeling of what was about to happen. "Dear Miss Eyre, I want nothing but her and you."
"Still there are times like the present when Miss Eyre cannot be with you; her home is not with us; she has other duties. I've been in great perplexity for some time; but at last I've taken a step which will, I hope, make us both happier."
"Still, there are times like now when Miss Eyre can't be with you; her home isn't here; she has other responsibilities. I've been very confused for a while, but finally, I've taken a step that I hope will make us both happier."
"You're going to be married again," said she, helping him out, with a quiet dry voice, and gently drawing her hand out of his.
"You're going to get married again," she said, helping him out with a calm, dry voice, and gently pulling her hand away from his.
"Yes. To Mrs. Kirkpatrick—you remember her? They call her Clare at the Towers. You recollect how kind she was to you that day you were left there?"
"Yes. To Mrs. Kirkpatrick—you remember her? They call her Clare at the Towers. You remember how kind she was to you that day you were left there?"
She did not answer. She could not tell what words to use. She was afraid of saying anything, lest the passion of anger, dislike, indignation—whatever it was that was boiling up in her breast—should find vent in cries and screams, or worse, in raging words that could never be forgotten. It was as if the piece of solid ground on which she stood had broken from the shore, and she was drifting out to the infinite sea alone.
She didn’t respond. She couldn’t figure out what to say. She was scared of saying anything, in case the surge of anger, dislike, or outrage—whatever it was that was bubbling up inside her—came out as cries and screams, or even worse, as harsh words that could never be taken back. It felt like the solid ground she stood on had split away from the shore, and she was drifting alone into the vast ocean.
Mr. Gibson saw that her silence was unnatural, and half-guessed at the cause of it. But he knew that she must have time to reconcile herself to the idea, and still believed that it would be for her eventual happiness. He had, besides, the relief of feeling that the secret was told, the confidence made, which he had been dreading for the last twenty-four hours. He went on recapitulating all the advantages of the marriage; he knew them off by heart now.
Mr. Gibson noticed that her silence was strange and could only partially guess why. But he understood that she needed time to come to terms with the idea and still believed it would lead to her happiness in the long run. He also felt relieved that the secret was out, and the discussion he had been dreading for the past twenty-four hours was finally done. He continued to go over all the benefits of the marriage, having memorized them by now.
"She's a very suitable age for me. I don't know how old she is exactly, but she must be nearly forty. I shouldn't have wished to marry any one younger. She's highly respected by Lord and Lady Cumnor and their family, which is of itself a character. She has very agreeable and polished manners—of course, from the circles she has been thrown into—and you and I, goosey, are apt to be a little brusque, or so; we must brush up our manners now."
"She's at a very appropriate age for me. I’m not sure exactly how old she is, but she’s probably close to forty. I wouldn’t want to marry anyone younger. She’s highly regarded by Lord and Lady Cumnor and their family, which really speaks to her character. She has very pleasing and refined manners—of course, from the circles she’s been in—and you and I can be a bit blunt at times; we need to polish up our manners now."
No remark from her on this little bit of playfulness. He went on,—
No comment from her on this little bit of playfulness. He continued,—
"She has been accustomed to housekeeping—economical housekeeping, too—for of late years she has had a school at Ashcombe, and has had, of course, to arrange all things for a large family. And last, but not least, she has a daughter—about your age, Molly—who, of course, will come and live with us, and be a nice companion—a sister—for you."
"She’s used to managing a household—frugally, too—because in recent years she’s run a school in Ashcombe and has had to organize everything for a big family. And last but not least, she has a daughter—around your age, Molly—who will definitely move in with us and be a nice companion—a sister—for you."
Still she was silent. At length she said,—
Still she was silent. After a while, she said,—
"So I was sent out of the house that all this might be quietly arranged in my absence?"
"So I was sent out of the house so that everything could be quietly arranged while I was gone?"
Out of the bitterness of her heart she spoke, but she was roused out of her assumed impassiveness by the effect produced. Her father started up, and quickly left the room, saying something to himself—what, she could not hear, though she ran after him, followed him through dark stone passages, into the glare of the stable-yard, into the stables—
Out of the bitterness in her heart, she spoke, but she was shaken from her feigned indifference by the impact of her words. Her father jumped up and quickly left the room, muttering something to himself—she couldn’t make it out, even though she chased after him, following him through dark stone corridors, into the bright light of the stable yard, into the barns—
"Oh, papa, papa—I'm not myself—I don't know what to say about this hateful—detestable—"
"Oh, Dad, Dad—I'm not myself—I don't know what to say about this awful—gross—"
He led his horse out. She did not know if he heard her words. Just as he mounted, he turned round upon her with a grey grim face—
He took his horse out. She wasn't sure if he heard what she said. Just as he got on, he turned to her with a grey, grim face—
"I think it's better for both of us, for me to go away now. We may say things difficult to forget. We are both much agitated. By to-morrow we shall be more composed; you will have thought it over, and have seen that the principal—one great motive, I mean—was your good. You may tell Mrs. Hamley—I meant to have told her myself. I will come again to-morrow. Good-by, Molly."
"I think it’s best for both of us if I leave now. We might say things we’ll struggle to forget. We're both really upset. By tomorrow, we’ll be calmer; you’ll have had time to think it over and realize that the main reason for this—one big reason, I mean—was your well-being. You can tell Mrs. Hamley—I intended to tell her myself. I’ll come back tomorrow. Goodbye, Molly."
For many minutes after he had ridden away—long after the sound of his horse's hoofs on the round stones of the paved lane, beyond the home-meadows, had died away—Molly stood there, shading her eyes, and looking at the empty space of air in which his form had last appeared. Her very breath seemed suspended; only, two or three times, after long intervals, she drew a miserable sigh, which was caught up into a sob. She turned away at last, but could not go into the house, could not tell Mrs. Hamley, could not forget how her father had looked and spoken—and left her.
For many minutes after he had ridden away—long after the sound of his horse's hooves on the smooth stones of the paved lane, beyond the home meadows, had faded—Molly stood there, shading her eyes and staring at the empty space where he had last been. It felt like her breath was on hold; only two or three times, after long pauses, did she let out a sad sigh that turned into a sob. Eventually, she turned away, but she couldn't go into the house, couldn't tell Mrs. Hamley, couldn't forget how her father had looked and spoken—and then left her.
She went out through a side-door—it was the way by which the gardeners passed when they took the manure into the garden—and the walk to which it led was concealed from sight as much as possible by shrubs and evergreens and over-arching trees. No one would know what became of her—and, with the ingratitude of misery, she added to herself, no one would care. Mrs. Hamley had her own husband, her own children, her close home interests—she was very good and kind, but there was a bitter grief in Molly's heart, with which the stranger could not intermeddle. She went quickly on to the bourne which she had fixed for herself—a seat almost surrounded by the drooping leaves of a weeping-ash—a seat on the long broad terrace walk on the other side of the wood, that overlooked the pleasant slope of the meadows beyond. The walk had probably been made to command this sunny, peaceful landscape, with trees, and a church spire, two or three red-tiled roofs of old cottages, and a purple bit of rising ground in the distance; and at some previous date, when there might have been a large family of Hamleys residing at the Hall, ladies in hoops, and gentlemen in bag-wigs with swords by their sides, might have filled up the breadth of the terrace, as they sauntered, smiling, along. But no one ever cared to saunter there now. It was a deserted walk. The squire or his sons might cross it in passing to a little gate that led to the meadow beyond; but no one loitered there. Molly almost thought that no one knew of the hidden seat under the ash-tree but herself; for there were not more gardeners employed upon the grounds than were necessary to keep the kitchen-gardens and such of the ornamental part as was frequented by the family, or in sight of the house, in good order.
She slipped out through a side door—it was the route the gardeners took when they brought manure into the garden—and the path it led to was hidden from view as much as possible by shrubs, evergreens, and overhanging trees. No one would know what happened to her—and, with the ingratitude of misery, she thought to herself, no one would care. Mrs. Hamley had her own husband, her own children, her close family concerns—she was really good and kind, but Molly felt a deep sorrow in her heart that the stranger could not touch. She hurried on to the spot she had chosen for herself—a seat almost surrounded by the drooping leaves of a weeping ash—on the long, wide terrace walk on the other side of the wood, looking out over the lovely slope of the meadows beyond. The path had probably been built to take in this sunny, peaceful view, featuring trees, a church spire, a couple of red-tiled roofs from old cottages, and a purple hill in the distance; and at some earlier time, when a large family of Hamleys lived at the Hall, ladies in big skirts and gentlemen in bag wigs with swords at their sides might have filled the terrace as they strolled, smiling. But no one cared to stroll there now. It was an empty path. The squire or his sons might cross it on their way to a small gate leading to the meadow beyond, but no one lingered there. Molly almost believed that no one else knew about the hidden seat under the ash tree besides her; because there were only as many gardeners working on the grounds as necessary to maintain the kitchen gardens and the parts of the ornamental area that the family used or that were visible from the house.
When she had once got to the seat she broke out with suppressed passion of grief. She did not care to analyze the sources of her tears and sobs—her father was going to be married again—her father was angry with her; she had done very wrong—he had gone away displeased; she had lost his love; he was going to be married—away from her—away from his child—his little daughter—forgetting her own dear, dear mother. So she thought in a tumultuous kind of way, sobbing till she was wearied out, and had to gain strength by being quiet for a time, to break forth into her passion of tears afresh. She had cast herself on the ground—that natural throne for violent sorrow—and leant up against the old moss-grown seat; sometimes burying her face in her hands; sometimes clasping them together, as if by the tight painful grasp of her fingers she could deaden mental suffering.
When she finally reached the seat, she let out the grief she had been holding back. She didn't want to think about why she was crying and sobbing—her dad was getting remarried—her dad was mad at her; she had messed up—he had left upset; she had lost his love; he was going to marry someone else—far away from her—away from his child—his little girl—forgetting about her beloved mother. This all swirled around in her mind as she cried until she was too exhausted, needing to be quiet for a bit before bursting into tears again. She had thrown herself onto the ground—the obvious place for deep sorrow—and leaned against the old, moss-covered seat; sometimes hiding her face in her hands and sometimes clasping them together, as if squeezing her fingers tightly could ease her emotional pain.
She did not see Roger Hamley returning from the meadows, nor hear the click of the little white gate. He had been out dredging in ponds and ditches, and had his wet sling-net, with its imprisoned treasures of nastiness, over his shoulder. He was coming home to lunch, having always a fine midday appetite, though he pretended to despise the meal in theory. But he knew that his mother liked his companionship then; she depended much upon her luncheon, and was seldom downstairs and visible to her family much before the time. So he overcame his theory, for the sake of his mother, and had his reward in the hearty relish with which he kept her company in eating.
She didn’t see Roger Hamley coming back from the meadows, nor did she hear the click of the little white gate. He had been out catching stuff from ponds and ditches and had his wet net, filled with slimy treasures, thrown over his shoulder. He was heading home for lunch, always having a big appetite around midday, even though he pretended to look down on the meal in theory. But he knew his mother appreciated his company then; she really relied on her lunch and rarely came downstairs to be with the family much before that time. So, he put aside his theory for his mother’s sake and enjoyed the hearty way they shared the meal together.
He did not see Molly as he crossed the terrace-walk on his way homewards. He had gone about twenty yards along the small wood-path at right angles to the terrace, when, looking among the grass and wild plants under the trees, he spied out one which was rare, one which he had been long wishing to find in flower, and saw it at last, with those bright keen eyes of his. Down went his net, skilfully twisted so as to retain its contents, while it lay amid the herbage, and he himself went with light and well-planted footsteps in search of the treasure. He was so great a lover of nature that, without any thought, but habitually, he always avoided treading unnecessarily on any plant; who knew what long-sought growth or insect might develop itself in that which now appeared but insignificant?
He didn’t see Molly as he walked across the terrace on his way home. After he had gone about twenty yards along a small path that cut through the woods, he looked among the grass and wild plants under the trees and spotted a rare flower he had been hoping to find in bloom. Finally, he saw it with those bright, sharp eyes of his. He carefully placed his net down, twisted to keep its contents secure while resting in the grass, and then he moved with light, deliberate steps to search for the treasure. He loved nature so much that it became a habit for him to avoid stepping on any plants unnecessarily; who knew what long-sought growth or insect might emerge from what seemed insignificant now?
His steps led him in the direction of the ash-tree seat, much less screened from observation on this side than on the terrace. He stopped; he saw a light-coloured dress on the ground—somebody half-lying on the seat, so still just then, he wondered if the person, whoever it was, had fallen ill or fainted. He paused to watch. In a minute or two the sobs broke out again—the words. It was Miss Gibson crying out in a broken voice,—
His steps took him toward the ash-tree seat, which was much more exposed to view on this side than on the terrace. He stopped and noticed a light-colored dress on the ground—someone half-lying on the seat, so still at that moment that he wondered if they had fallen ill or fainted. He paused to watch. After a minute or two, the sobs started up again—the words. It was Miss Gibson crying out in a broken voice,
"Oh, papa, papa! if you would but come back!"
"Oh, Dad, Dad! If you would just come back!"
For a minute or two he thought it would be kinder to leave her fancying herself unobserved; he had even made a retrograde step or two, on tip-toe; but then he heard the miserable sobbing again. It was farther than his mother could walk, or else, be the sorrow what it would, she was the natural comforter of this girl, her visitor. However, whether it was right or wrong, delicate or obtrusive, when he heard the sad voice talking again, in such tones of uncomforted, lonely misery, he turned back, and went to the green tent under the ash-tree. She started up when he came thus close to her; she tried to check her sobs, and instinctively smoothed her wet tangled hair back with her hands.
For a minute or two, he thought it would be nicer to let her think she was alone; he even stepped back a bit, on tiptoe. But then he heard her sobbing again. It was further than his mother could walk, or maybe, no matter how sad the situation was, she was the natural comforter for this girl, her guest. However, whether it was the right thing to do or not, when he heard her sad voice talking again in such tones of lonely misery, he turned around and went to the green tent under the ash tree. She jumped up when he got close; she tried to hold back her sobs and instinctively ran her hands through her wet, tangled hair.
He looked down upon her with grave, kind sympathy, but he did not know exactly what to say.
He looked down at her with serious, kind sympathy, but he wasn't sure what to say.
"Is it lunch-time?" said she, trying to believe that he did not see the traces of her tears and the disturbance of her features—that he had not seen her lying, sobbing her heart out there.
"Is it lunch-time?" she asked, trying to convince herself that he didn't notice the traces of her tears and the upset look on her face—that he hadn't seen her lying there, crying her heart out.
"I don't know. I was going home to lunch. But—you must let me say it—I couldn't go on when I saw your distress. Has anything happened?—anything in which I can help you, I mean; for, of course, I've no right to make the inquiry, if it is any private sorrow, in which I can be of no use."
"I don’t know. I was on my way home for lunch. But—I have to say it—I couldn’t keep going when I saw how upset you were. Did something happen? Is there anything I can do to help you? I mean, I know it’s not my place to ask if it’s some private issue where I can’t really help."
She had exhausted herself so much with crying, that she felt as if she could neither stand nor walk just yet. She sate down on the seat, and sighed, and turned so pale, he thought she was going to faint.
She had cried so much that she felt too weak to stand or walk just yet. She sat down on the bench, sighed, and turned so pale that he thought she might faint.
"Wait a moment," said he,—quite unnecessarily, for she could not have stirred,—and he was off like a shot to some spring of water that he knew of in the wood, and in a minute or two he returned with careful steps, bringing a little in a broad green leaf, turned into an impromptu cup. Little as it was, it did her good.
"Hold on a second," he said—completely unnecessary, since she couldn't have moved—and he was off like a shot to a spring he knew in the woods. In just a minute or two, he came back, walking carefully, bringing a bit of water in a wide green leaf that he turned into a makeshift cup. Even though it was small, it made her feel better.
"Thank you!" she said: "I can walk back now, in a short time. Don't stop."
"Thank you!" she said. "I can walk back now, in a little while. Don't stop."
"You must let me," said he: "my mother wouldn't like me to leave you to come home alone, while you are so faint."
"You have to let me," he said. "My mom wouldn’t want me to leave you to go home alone when you’re feeling so weak."
So they remained in silence for a little while; he, breaking off and examining one or two abnormal leaves of the ash-tree, partly from the custom of his nature, partly to give her time to recover.
So they stayed quiet for a bit; he, pausing to look at a couple of unusual leaves on the ash tree, partly out of habit and partly to give her a moment to regain her composure.
"Papa is going to be married again," said she, at length.
"Papa is going to get married again," she finally said.
She could not have said why she told him this; an instant before she spoke, she had no intention of doing so. He dropped the leaf he held in his hand, turned round, and looked at her. Her poor wistful eyes were filling with tears as they met his, with a dumb appeal for sympathy. Her look was much more eloquent than her words. There was a momentary pause before he replied, and then it was more because he felt that he must say something than that he was in any doubt as to the answer to the question he asked.
She couldn't explain why she said this to him; just a moment before she spoke, she had no plans to. He dropped the leaf he was holding, turned around, and looked at her. Her sad, longing eyes were filling with tears as they met his, silently asking for sympathy. Her expression spoke much more than her words. There was a brief pause before he replied, and he did so more because he felt he needed to say something than because he was uncertain about the answer to the question he asked.
"You are sorry for it?"
"Are you sorry about it?"
She did not take her eyes away from his, as her quivering lips formed the word "Yes," though her voice made no sound. He was silent again now; looking on the ground, kicking softly at a loose pebble with his foot. His thoughts did not come readily to the surface in the shape of words; nor was he apt at giving comfort till he saw his way clear to the real source from which consolation must come. At last he spoke,—almost as if he was reasoning out the matter with himself.
She didn't look away from his eyes as her trembling lips formed the word "Yes," though no sound came out. He was silent again, staring at the ground and gently kicking a loose pebble with his foot. His thoughts didn’t easily turn into words, and he wasn’t good at offering comfort until he figured out the true source of where it needed to come from. Finally, he spoke—almost as if he was working through the situation in his mind.
"It seems as if there might be cases where—setting the question of love entirely on one side—it must be almost a duty to find some one to be a substitute for the mother… I can believe," said he, in a different tone of voice, and looking at Molly afresh, "that this step may be greatly for your father's happiness—it may relieve him from many cares, and may give him a pleasant companion."
"It seems like there might be situations where—putting love aside completely—it’s almost a duty to find someone to take the place of the mom… I can believe," he said, in a different tone of voice, looking at Molly in a new way, "that this decision could really make your father happy—it might take a load off his mind and give him a nice companion."
"He had me. You don't know what we were to each other—at least, what he was to me," she added, humbly.
"He had me. You don’t know what we meant to each other—at least, what he meant to me," she added, humbly.
"Still he must have thought it for the best, or he wouldn't have done it. He may have thought it the best for your sake even more than for his own."
"Still, he must have believed it was the right thing to do, or he wouldn't have gone through with it. He might have thought it was better for you, even more than for himself."
"That is what he tried to convince me of."
"That's what he tried to convince me of."
Roger began kicking the pebble again. He had not got hold of the right end of the clue. Suddenly he looked up.
Roger started kicking the pebble again. He hadn't figured out the right part of the clue. Suddenly, he looked up.
"I want to tell you of a girl I know. Her mother died when she was about sixteen—the eldest of a large family. From that time—all through the bloom of her youth—she gave herself up to her father, first as his comforter, afterwards as his companion, friend, secretary—anything you like. He was a man with a great deal of business on hand, and often came home only to set to afresh to preparations for the next day's work. Harriet was always there, ready to help, to talk, or to be silent. It went on for eight or ten years in this way; and then her father married again,—a woman not many years older than Harriet herself. Well—they are just the happiest set of people I know—you wouldn't have thought it likely, would you?"
"I want to tell you about a girl I know. Her mother passed away when she was around sixteen—the oldest in a large family. From that point on—throughout her youth—she devoted herself to her father, first as his comforter, then as his companion, friend, and secretary—whatever he needed. He was a man with a lot of work to do, often coming home only to jump right back into preparing for the next day's tasks. Harriet was always there, ready to help, chat, or just be quiet. This went on for eight or ten years like this; then her father got remarried—a woman not much older than Harriet herself. Well—they're the happiest family I know—you wouldn't have expected that, right?"
She was listening, but she had no heart to say anything. Yet she was interested in this little story of Harriet—a girl who had been so much to her father, more than Molly in this early youth of hers could have been to Mr. Gibson. "How was it?" she sighed out at last.
She was listening, but she just couldn't bring herself to say anything. Still, she was intrigued by this little story about Harriet—a girl who had meant so much to her father, more than Molly ever could have in Mr. Gibson's early days. "What happened?" she finally sighed.
"Harriet thought of her father's happiness before she thought of her own," Roger answered, with something of severe brevity. Molly needed the bracing. She began to cry again a little.
"Harriet thought about her father's happiness before she thought about her own," Roger replied, a bit curtly. Molly needed that boost. She started to cry a little again.
"If it were for papa's happiness—"
"If it were for Dad's happiness—"
"He must believe that it is. Whatever you fancy, give him a chance. He cannot have much comfort, I should think, if he sees you fretting or pining,—you who have been so much to him, as you say. The lady herself, too—if Harriet's stepmother had been a selfish woman, and been always clutching after the gratification of her own wishes; but she was not: she was as anxious for Harriet to be happy as Harriet was for her father—and your father's future wife may be another of the same kind, though such people are rare."
"He must believe that it is. Whatever you want, give him a chance. I can’t imagine he finds much comfort if he sees you worrying or longing—especially since you’ve meant so much to him, as you say. The lady herself, too—if Harriet's stepmother had been a selfish person, always reaching for her own desires; but she wasn’t: she cared just as much about Harriet's happiness as Harriet did about her father’s. And your dad's future wife could be someone like that as well, though people like her are hard to come by."
"I don't think she is, though," murmured Molly, a waft of recollection bringing to her mind the details of her day at the Towers long ago.
"I don't think she is, though," Molly whispered, a wave of memories bringing back details of her day at the Towers long ago.
Roger did not want to hear Molly's reasons for this doubting speech. He felt as if he had no right to hear more of Mr. Gibson's family life, past, present, or to come, than was absolutely necessary for him, in order that he might comfort and help the crying girl, whom he had come upon so unexpectedly. And besides, he wanted to go home, and be with his mother at lunch-time. Yet he could not leave her alone.
Roger didn't want to hear Molly's reasons for her doubts. He felt he shouldn't know more about Mr. Gibson's family—past, present, or future—than what was absolutely necessary for him to comfort and help the crying girl he had stumbled upon. Plus, he wanted to go home and have lunch with his mom. Still, he couldn't just leave her alone.
"It is right to hope for the best about everybody, and not to expect the worst. This sounds like a truism, but it has comforted me before now, and some day you'll find it useful. One has always to try to think more of others than of oneself, and it is best not to prejudge people on the bad side. My sermons aren't long, are they? Have they given you an appetite for lunch? Sermons always make me hungry, I know."
"It's good to hope for the best in everyone and not assume the worst. It may seem obvious, but it's brought me comfort before, and someday you'll find it helpful. We should always try to think more about others than ourselves, and it's best not to judge people negatively before really knowing them. My talks aren't too long, right? Have they made you hungry for lunch? I know sermons always make me feel that way."
He appeared to be waiting for her to get up and come along with him, as indeed he was. But he meant her to perceive that he should not leave her; so she rose up languidly, too languid to say how much she should prefer being left alone, if he would only go away without her. She was very weak, and stumbled over the straggling root of a tree that projected across the path. He, watchful though silent, saw this stumble, and putting out his hand held her up from falling. He still held her hand when the occasion was past; this little physical failure impressed on his heart how young and helpless she was, and he yearned to her, remembering the passion of sorrow in which he had found her, and longing to be of some little tender bit of comfort to her, before they parted—before their tête-à-tête walk was merged in the general familiarity of the household life. Yet he did not know what to say.
He seemed to be waiting for her to get up and come with him, which he actually was. But he wanted her to realize that he wouldn't leave her behind; so she got up slowly, too weak to express how much she would rather be alone if he would just go without her. She felt very weak and tripped over a tree root that was sticking out into the path. He, though silent, was watching and saw her stumble, and he reached out his hand to help her avoid falling. He still held her hand after the moment passed; this little moment of weakness reminded him how young and vulnerable she was, and he felt a strong urge to comfort her, recalling the sorrowful passion in which he had found her, wanting to offer her some little bit of comfort before they parted—before their private walk turned into the usual routine of home life. Yet he didn't know what to say.
"You will have thought me hard," he burst out at length, as they were nearing the drawing-room windows and the garden-door. "I never can manage to express what I feel—somehow I always fall to philosophizing—but I am sorry for you. Yes, I am; it's beyond my power to help you, as far as altering facts goes, but I can feel for you, in a way which it's best not to talk about, for it can do no good. Remember how sorry I am for you! I shall often be thinking of you, though I daresay it's best not to talk about it again."
"You probably thought I was being tough," he finally said as they approached the drawing-room windows and the garden door. "I can never seem to express what I really feel—somehow I always end up overthinking things—but I do feel sorry for you. Yes, I really do; I can’t change the situation, but I can empathize with you in a way that’s probably not worth discussing because it won’t help. Just remember that I'm really sorry for you! I’ll be thinking about you often, even though I suppose it’s better not to bring it up again."
She said, "I know you are sorry," under her breath, and then she broke away, and ran indoors, and upstairs to the solitude of her own room. He went straight to his mother, who was sitting before the untasted luncheon, as much annoyed by the mysterious unpunctuality of her visitor as she was capable of being with anything; for she had heard that Mr. Gibson had been, and was gone, and she could not discover if he had left any message for her; and her anxiety about her own health, which some people esteemed hypochondriacal, always made her particularly craving for the wisdom which might fall from her doctor's lips.
She murmured, "I know you’re sorry," and then she broke away, ran inside, and up to the solitude of her own room. He went straight to his mom, who was sitting at the untouched lunch, as annoyed by her visitor's unexplained lateness as she could be about anything; she had heard that Mr. Gibson had come and gone, and she couldn’t find out if he had left any message for her. Her anxiety about her health, which some people thought was just hypochondria, always made her particularly eager for the wisdom that might come from her doctor.
"Where have you been, Roger? Where is Molly?—Miss Gibson, I mean," for she was careful to keep up a barrier of forms between the young man and young woman who were thrown together in the same household.
"Where have you been, Roger? Where is Molly?—I mean Miss Gibson," she said, making sure to maintain a formal distance between the young man and the young woman living in the same house.
"I've been out dredging. (By the way, I left my net on the terrace walk.) I found Miss Gibson sitting there, crying as if her heart would break. Her father is going to be married again."
"I've been out dredging. (By the way, I left my net on the terrace walk.) I found Miss Gibson sitting there, crying like her heart was breaking. Her dad is getting married again."
"Married again! You don't say so."
"Married again? Seriously?"
"Yes, he is; and she takes it very hardly, poor girl. Mother, I think if you could send some one to her with a glass of wine, a cup of tea, or something of that sort—she was very nearly fainting—"
"Yes, he is; and she’s handling it really poorly, poor girl. Mom, I think if you could send someone over with a glass of wine, a cup of tea, or something like that—she was almost passing out—"
"I'll go to her myself, poor child," said Mrs. Hamley, rising.
"I'll go to her myself, poor thing," said Mrs. Hamley, getting up.
"Indeed you must not," said he, laying his hand upon her arm. "We have kept you waiting already too long; you are looking quite pale. Hammond can take it," he continued, ringing the bell. She sate down again, almost stunned with surprise.
"Really, you shouldn't," he said, placing his hand on her arm. "We've already kept you waiting too long; you look pretty pale. Hammond can handle it," he added as he rang the bell. She sat down again, almost shocked with surprise.
"Whom is he going to marry?"
"Who is he going to marry?"
"I don't know. I didn't ask, and she didn't tell me."
"I don’t know. I didn’t ask, and she didn’t say anything."
"That's so like a man. Why, half the character of the affair lies in the question of who it is that he is going to marry."
"That's so typical of a guy. Really, half the significance of the situation depends on who he’s planning to marry."
"I daresay I ought to have asked. But somehow I'm not a good one on such occasions. I was as sorry as could be for her, and yet I couldn't tell what to say."
"I guess I should have asked. But for some reason, I’m not great in situations like that. I felt really bad for her, but I just didn’t know what to say."
"What did you say?"
"What did you say?"
"I gave her the best advice in my power."
"I gave her the best advice I could."
"Advice! you ought to have comforted her. Poor little Molly!"
"Advice! You should have comforted her. Poor little Molly!"
"I think that if advice is good it's the best comfort."
"I believe that if advice is valuable, it's the greatest comfort."
"That depends on what you mean by advice. Hush! here she is."
"That depends on what you mean by advice. Be quiet! Here she is."
To their surprise, Molly came in, trying hard to look as usual. She had bathed her eyes, and arranged her hair; and was making a great struggle to keep from crying, and to bring her voice into order. She was unwilling to distress Mrs. Hamley by the sight of pain and suffering. She did not know that she was following Roger's injunction to think more of others than of herself—but so she was. Mrs. Hamley was not sure if it was wise in her to begin on the piece of news she had just heard from her son; but she was too full of it herself to talk of anything else. "So I hear your father is going to be married, my dear? May I ask whom it is to?"
To their surprise, Molly walked in, trying hard to act like everything was normal. She had freshened up her eyes and styled her hair, making a big effort to hold back tears and steady her voice. She didn’t want to upset Mrs. Hamley by showing her pain. She wasn’t aware that she was following Roger's advice to think more about others than herself—but she was. Mrs. Hamley wondered if it was wise to bring up the news she had just learned from her son, but she was too excited about it to talk about anything else. "So I hear your father is going to get married, my dear? Can I ask who it is?"
"Mrs. Kirkpatrick. I think she was governess a long time ago at the Countess of Cumnor's. She stays with them a great deal, and they call her Clare, and I believe they are very fond of her." Molly tried to speak of her future stepmother in the most favourable manner she knew how.
"Mrs. Kirkpatrick. I think she used to be a governess a long time ago for the Countess of Cumnor. She spends a lot of time with them, and they call her Clare, and I believe they really like her." Molly tried to talk about her future stepmother in the most positive way she could.
"I think I've heard of her. Then she's not very young? That's as it should be. A widow too. Has she any family?"
"I think I've heard of her. So, she's not very young? That makes sense. A widow, too. Does she have any family?"
"One girl, I believe. But I know so little about her!"
"One girl, I think. But I know very little about her!"
Molly was very near crying again.
Molly was about to cry again.
"Never mind, my dear. That will all come in good time. Roger, you've hardly eaten anything; where are you going?"
"Don't worry, my dear. That will all happen in due time. Roger, you haven't eaten much; where are you headed?"
"To fetch my dredging-net. It's full of things I don't want to lose. Besides, I never eat much, as a general thing." The truth was partly told, not all. He thought he had better leave the other two alone. His mother had such sweet power of sympathy, that she would draw the sting out of the girl's heart when she had her alone. As soon as he was gone, Molly lifted up her poor swelled eyes, and, looking at Mrs. Hamley, she said,—"He was so good to me. I mean to try and remember all he said."
"To grab my dredging net. It's filled with things I don’t want to lose. Besides, I generally don’t eat much." The truth was partly shared, but not completely. He thought it best to leave the other two alone. His mom had such a sweet way of connecting with people that she would help ease the girl's pain when they were alone. As soon as he left, Molly raised her poor swollen eyes and, looking at Mrs. Hamley, said, "He was so kind to me. I’m going to try and remember everything he said."
"I'm glad to hear it, love; very glad. From what he told me, I was afraid he had been giving you a little lecture. He has a good heart, but he isn't so tender in his manner as Osborne. Roger is a little rough sometimes."
"I'm really happy to hear that, love; very happy. From what he mentioned, I was worried he had been giving you a bit of a lecture. He has a good heart, but he isn't as gentle in his approach as Osborne. Roger can be a bit rough sometimes."
"Then I like roughness. It did me good. It made me feel how badly—oh, Mrs. Hamley, I did behave so badly to papa this morning!"
"Then I like roughness. It did me good. It made me realize how badly—oh, Mrs. Hamley, I treated papa so poorly this morning!"
She rose up and threw herself into Mrs. Hamley's arms, and sobbed upon her breast. Her sorrow was not now for the fact that her father was going to be married again, but for her own ill-behaviour.
She got up and threw herself into Mrs. Hamley's arms, crying on her chest. Her sadness wasn't about her dad getting married again anymore, but about her own bad behavior.
If Roger was not tender in words, he was in deeds. Unreasonable and possibly exaggerated as Molly's grief had appeared to him, it was real suffering to her; and he took some pains to lighten it, in his own way, which was characteristic enough. That evening he adjusted his microscope, and put the treasures he had collected in his morning's ramble on a little table; and then he asked his mother to come and admire. Of course Molly came too, and this was what he had intended. He tried to interest her in his pursuit, cherished her first little morsel of curiosity, and nursed it into a very proper desire for further information. Then he brought out books on the subject, and translated the slightly pompous and technical language into homely every-day speech. Molly had come down to dinner, wondering how the long hours till bedtime would ever pass away: hours during which she must not speak on the one thing that would be occupying her mind to the exclusion of all others; for she was afraid that already she had wearied Mrs. Hamley with it during their afternoon tête-à-tête. But prayers and bedtime came long before she expected; she had been refreshed by a new current of thought, and she was very thankful to Roger. And now there was to-morrow to come, and a confession of penitence to be made to her father.
If Roger wasn't gentle with his words, he sure was with his actions. Although Molly's grief seemed unreasonable and maybe even exaggerated to him, it was real pain for her; and he made an effort to ease it in his own way, which was typical of him. That evening, he set up his microscope and laid out the treasures he found during his morning walk on a small table; then he asked his mom to come and take a look. Of course, Molly came too, which was exactly what he had hoped for. He tried to get her interested in his hobby, nurtured her initial bit of curiosity, and encouraged it to grow into a strong desire for more knowledge. Then he pulled out some books on the topic and translated the overly formal and technical language into plain, everyday terms. Molly had come down to dinner, wondering how the long hours until bedtime would drag on—hours during which she couldn’t talk about the one thing occupying her mind above all else because she was worried she had already tired Mrs. Hamley out with it during their afternoon chat. But prayers and bedtime arrived much sooner than she expected; she felt refreshed by a new stream of thoughts, and she was very grateful to Roger. And now there was tomorrow ahead, along with a confession she needed to make to her father.
But Mr. Gibson did not want speech or words. He was not fond of expressions of feeling at any time, and perhaps, too, he felt that the less said the better on a subject about which it was evident that his daughter and he were not thoroughly and impulsively in harmony. He read her repentance in her eyes; he saw how much she had suffered; and he had a sharp pang at his heart in consequence. And he stopped her from speaking out her regret at her behaviour the day before, by a "There, there, that will do. I know all you want to say. I know my little Molly—my silly little goosey—better than she knows herself. I've brought you an invitation. Lady Cumnor wants you to go and spend next Thursday at the Towers!"
But Mr. Gibson didn’t want to talk or say anything. He wasn’t the sentimental type, and maybe he felt that it was better to keep quiet about a topic where it was clear that he and his daughter weren’t completely on the same page. He could see her regret in her eyes; he knew how much she had been through, and it hurt him deeply. He cut her off before she could express her remorse for her actions the day before with a "There, there, that’s enough. I know what you want to say. I know my little Molly—my silly little goose—better than she knows herself. I have an invitation for you. Lady Cumnor wants you to come and spend next Thursday at the Towers!"
"Do you wish me to go?" said she, her heart sinking.
"Do you want me to go?" she asked, her heart dropping.
"I wish you and Hyacinth to become better acquainted—to learn to love each other."
"I hope you and Hyacinth get to know each other better and learn to love one another."
"Hyacinth!" said Molly, entirely bewildered.
"Hyacinth!" Molly said, totally confused.
"Yes; Hyacinth! It's the silliest name I ever heard of; but it's hers, and I must call her by it. I can't bear Clare, which is what my lady and all the family at the Towers call her; and 'Mrs. Kirkpatrick' is formal and nonsensical too, as she'll change her name so soon."
"Sure, Hyacinth! It's the most ridiculous name I've ever heard, but it's hers, and I have to use it. I can't stand Clare, which is what my lady and everyone at the Towers call her; and 'Mrs. Kirkpatrick' feels formal and silly too, since she'll be changing her name so soon."
"When, papa?" asked Molly, feeling as if she were living in a strange, unknown world.
"When, Dad?" asked Molly, feeling like she was living in a strange, unknown world.
"Not till after Michaelmas." And then, continuing on his own thoughts, he added, "And the worst is, she's gone and perpetuated her own affected name by having her daughter called after her. Cynthia! One thinks of the moon, and the man in the moon with his bundle of faggots. I'm thankful you're plain Molly, child."
"Not until after Michaelmas." Then, lost in his own thoughts, he continued, "And the worst part is, she’s gone and made her own pretentious name a legacy by naming her daughter after herself. Cynthia! It makes you think of the moon and the man in the moon with his bundle of sticks. I’m glad you’re just plain Molly, kid."
"How old is she—Cynthia, I mean?"
"How old is she—Cynthia, I mean?"
"Ay, get accustomed to the name. I should think Cynthia Kirkpatrick was about as old as you are. She's at school in France, picking up airs and graces. She's to come home for the wedding, so you'll be able to get acquainted with her then; though, I think, she's to go back again for another half-year or so."
"Yeah, get used to the name. I think Cynthia Kirkpatrick is about your age. She's studying in France, learning all the fancy stuff. She's coming home for the wedding, so you’ll have a chance to meet her then; although, I believe she’s going back for another six months or so."
CHAPTER XI.
MAKING FRIENDSHIP.
Mr. Gibson believed that Cynthia Kirkpatrick was to return to England to be present at her mother's wedding; but Mrs. Kirkpatrick had no such intention. She was not what is commonly called a woman of determination; but somehow what she disliked she avoided, and what she liked she tried to do, or to have. So although in the conversation, which she had already led to, as to the when and the how she was to be married, she had listened quietly to Mr. Gibson's proposal that Molly and Cynthia should be the two bridesmaids, still she had felt how disagreeable it would be to her to have her young daughter flashing out her beauty by the side of the faded bride, her mother; and as the further arrangements for the wedding became more definite, she saw further reasons in her own mind for Cynthia's remaining quietly at her school at Boulogne.
Mr. Gibson thought that Cynthia Kirkpatrick would be coming back to England for her mother’s wedding; however, Mrs. Kirkpatrick had no plans for that. She wasn’t exactly what you’d call a determined woman; instead, she tended to avoid things she didn’t like and pursue what she did like. So, even though she had calmly listened to Mr. Gibson's suggestion that Molly and Cynthia should be the two bridesmaids during their conversation about the wedding details, she couldn’t shake the feeling that it would be uncomfortable for her to have her young daughter showcasing her beauty next to the faded bride, her mother. As the wedding arrangements became clearer, she found even more reasons to keep Cynthia quietly at her school in Boulogne.
Mrs. Kirkpatrick had gone to bed that first night of her engagement to Mr. Gibson, fully anticipating a speedy marriage. She looked to it as a release from the thraldom of keeping school—keeping an unprofitable school, with barely pupils enough to pay for house rent and taxes, food, washing, and the requisite masters. She saw no reason for ever going back to Ashcombe, except to wind up her affairs, and to pack up her clothes. She hoped that Mr. Gibson's ardour would be such that he would press on the marriage, and urge her never to resume her school drudgery, but to relinquish it now and for ever. She even made up a very pretty, very passionate speech for him in her own mind; quite sufficiently strong to prevail upon her, and to overthrow the scruples which she felt she ought to have, at telling the parents of her pupils that she did not intend to resume school, and that they must find another place of education for their daughters, in the last week but one of the midsummer holidays.
Mrs. Kirkpatrick went to bed that first night of her engagement to Mr. Gibson, fully expecting a quick marriage. She saw it as a way out of the drudgery of running a school—an unprofitable one at that, with barely enough students to cover rent, taxes, food, laundry, and the necessary teaching staff. She felt no reason to return to Ashcombe, except to tie up her affairs and pack up her clothes. She hoped that Mr. Gibson's enthusiasm would be so strong that he would push for the marriage and encourage her never to go back to teaching, but to leave it all behind for good. She even crafted a very sweet, very passionate speech for him in her mind; strong enough to convince her and to overcome the guilt she felt about telling her students' parents that she did not plan to reopen the school, and that they would need to find a new place for their daughters' education in the last week of the midsummer holidays.
It was rather like a douche of cold water on Mrs. Kirkpatrick's plans, when the next morning at breakfast Lady Cumnor began to decide upon the arrangements and duties of the two middle-aged lovers.
It was pretty much like a cold shower on Mrs. Kirkpatrick's plans when the next morning at breakfast Lady Cumnor started figuring out the arrangements and roles of the two middle-aged lovers.
"Of course you can't give up your school all at once, Clare. The wedding can't be before Christmas, but that will do very well. We shall all be down at the Towers; and it will be a nice amusement for the children to go over to Ashcombe, and see you married."
"Of course, you can't just leave school all at once, Clare. The wedding can't happen before Christmas, but that works out perfectly. We’ll all be at the Towers, and it’ll be a fun experience for the kids to go over to Ashcombe and see you get married."
"I think—I am afraid—I don't believe Mr. Gibson will like waiting so long; men are so impatient under these circumstances."
"I think—I’m worried—I don’t believe Mr. Gibson is going to like waiting this long; men get really impatient in situations like this."
"Oh, nonsense! Lord Cumnor has recommended you to his tenants, and I'm sure he wouldn't like them to be put to any inconvenience. Mr. Gibson will see that in a moment. He's a man of sense, or else he wouldn't be our family doctor. Now, what are you going to do about your little girl? Have you fixed yet?"
"Oh, come on! Lord Cumnor has suggested you to his tenants, and I know he wouldn't want them to be inconvenienced. Mr. Gibson will realize that right away. He's sensible, or he wouldn't be our family doctor. So, what are you going to do about your little girl? Have you made a decision yet?"
"No. Yesterday there seemed so little time, and when one is agitated it is so difficult to think of anything. Cynthia is nearly eighteen, old enough to go out as a governess, if he wishes it, but I don't think he will. He is so generous and kind."
"No. Yesterday there felt like hardly any time, and when you're stressed, it's really hard to think about anything. Cynthia is almost eighteen, old enough to work as a governess if he wants her to, but I doubt he will. He's so generous and kind."
"Well! I must give you time to settle some of your affairs to-day. Don't waste it in sentiment, you're too old for that. Come to a clear understanding with each other; it will be for your happiness in the long run."
"Well! I need to give you time to take care of some of your business today. Don't waste it on emotions; you're too old for that. Get on the same page with each other; it will lead to your happiness in the long run."
So they did come to a clear understanding about one or two things. To Mrs. Kirkpatrick's dismay, she found that Mr. Gibson had no more idea than Lady Cumnor of her breaking faith with the parents of her pupils. Though he really was at a serious loss as to what was to become of Molly till she could be under the protection of his new wife at her own home, and though his domestic worries teased him more and more every day, he was too honourable to think of persuading Mrs. Kirkpatrick to give up school a week sooner than was right for his sake. He did not even perceive how easy the task of persuasion would be; with all her winning wiles she could scarcely lead him to feel impatience for the wedding to take place at Michaelmas.
So they came to a clear understanding about a couple of things. To Mrs. Kirkpatrick's disappointment, she realized that Mr. Gibson had no more idea than Lady Cumnor about her going back on her promise to the parents of her students. Although he was genuinely worried about what would happen to Molly until she could be under the care of his new wife at her own home, and despite his personal troubles stressing him more each day, he was too honorable to try to convince Mrs. Kirkpatrick to end school a week earlier than necessary for his benefit. He didn’t even notice how easy it would be to persuade her; with all her charming tactics, she could barely make him feel impatient for the wedding to happen at Michaelmas.
"I can hardly tell you what a comfort and relief it will be to me, Hyacinth, when you are once my wife—the mistress of my home—poor little Molly's mother and protector; but I wouldn't interfere with your previous engagements for the world. It wouldn't be right."
"I can hardly express how comforting and relieving it will be for me, Hyacinth, when you’re finally my wife—the queen of my home—poor little Molly's mother and protector; but I wouldn’t want to disrupt your current commitments for anything. That wouldn't be right."
"Thank you, my own love. How good you are! So many men would think only of their own wishes and interests! I'm sure the parents of my dear pupils will admire you—will be quite surprised at your consideration for their interests."
"Thank you, my love. You're so kind! So many guys only think about their own desires and needs! I'm sure the parents of my dear students will appreciate you— they'll be really surprised by how thoughtful you are of their interests."
"Don't tell them, then. I hate being admired. Why shouldn't you say it is your wish to keep on your school till they've had time to look out for another?"
"Don't tell them, then. I hate being admired. Why not say it's your wish to stay in school until they've had time to find someone else?"
"Because it isn't," said she, daring all. "I long to be making you happy; I want to make your home a place of rest and comfort to you; and I do so wish to cherish your sweet Molly, as I hope to do, when I come to be her mother. I can't take virtue to myself which doesn't belong to me. If I have to speak for myself, I shall say, 'Good people, find a school for your daughters by Michaelmas,—for after that time I must go and make the happiness of others.' I can't bear to think of your long rides in November—coming home wet at night with no one to take care of you. Oh! if you leave it to me, I shall advise the parents to take their daughters away from the care of one whose heart will be absent. Though I couldn't consent to any time before Michaelmas—that wouldn't be fair or right, and I'm sure you wouldn't urge me—you are too good."
"Because it's not," she said boldly. "I really want to make you happy; I want your home to be a place of rest and comfort for you; and I truly wish to take care of your sweet Molly, as I hope to do when I become her mother. I can’t claim any virtue that isn’t mine. If I have to speak for myself, I would say, 'Good people, find a school for your daughters by Michaelmas—because after that, I’ll have to go and create happiness for others.' I can’t stand the thought of your long rides in November—coming home soaked at night with no one to look after you. Oh! If you leave it to me, I’ll advise the parents to take their daughters away from someone whose heart will be elsewhere. Although I couldn’t agree to any time before Michaelmas—that wouldn’t be fair or right, and I’m sure you wouldn’t push me—you’re too good."
"Well, if you think that they will consider we have acted uprightly by them, let it be Michaelmas with all my heart. What does Lady Cumnor say?"
"Well, if you think they'll believe we've treated them fairly, then I'm all for it being Michaelmas. What does Lady Cumnor say?"
"Oh! I told her I was afraid you wouldn't like waiting, because of your difficulties with your servants, and because of Molly—it would be so desirable to enter on the new relationship with her as soon as possible."
"Oh! I told her I was worried you wouldn't like waiting, because of your issues with your staff, and because of Molly—it would be great to start the new relationship with her as soon as possible."
"To be sure; so it would. Poor child! I'm afraid the intelligence of my engagement has rather startled her."
"Definitely; it would. Poor kid! I'm worried that the news of my engagement has really surprised her."
"Cynthia will feel it deeply, too," said Mrs. Kirkpatrick, unwilling to let her daughter be behind Mr. Gibson's in sensibility and affection.
"Cynthia will feel it deeply, too," Mrs. Kirkpatrick said, not wanting her daughter to be less sensitive and caring than Mr. Gibson.
"We will have her over to the wedding! She and Molly shall be bridesmaids," said Mr. Gibson, in the unguarded warmth of his heart.
"We'll have her at the wedding! She and Molly will be bridesmaids," said Mr. Gibson, with the unguarded warmth of his heart.
This plan did not quite suit Mrs. Kirkpatrick: but she thought it best not to oppose it, until she had a presentable excuse to give, and perhaps also some reason would naturally arise out of future circumstances; so at this time she only smiled, and softly pressed the hand she held in hers.
This plan didn't really work for Mrs. Kirkpatrick, but she figured it was best not to challenge it until she had a good excuse to offer. Maybe a reason would come up later with whatever happened next; so for now, she just smiled and gently squeezed the hand she was holding.
It is a question whether Mrs. Kirkpatrick or Molly wished the most for the day to be over which they were to spend together at the Towers. Mrs. Kirkpatrick was rather weary of girls as a class. All the trials of her life were connected with girls in some way. She was very young when she first became a governess, and had been worsted in her struggles with her pupils, in the first place she ever went to. Her elegance of appearance and manner, and her accomplishments, more than her character and acquirements, had rendered it easier for her than for most to obtain good "situations;" and she had been absolutely petted in some; but still she was constantly encountering naughty or stubborn, or over-conscientious, or severe-judging, or curious and observant girls. And again, before Cynthia was born, she had longed for a boy, thinking it possible that if some three or four intervening relations died, he might come to be a baronet; and instead of a son, lo and behold it was a daughter! Nevertheless, with all her dislike to girls in the abstract as "the plagues of her life" (and her aversion was not diminished by the fact of her having kept a school for "young ladies" at Ashcombe), she really meant to be as kind as she could be to her new step-daughter, whom she remembered principally as a black-haired, sleepy child, in whose eyes she had read admiration of herself. Mrs. Kirkpatrick accepted Mr. Gibson principally because she was tired of the struggle of earning her own livelihood; but she liked him personally—nay, she even loved him in her torpid way, and she intended to be good to his daughter, though she felt as if it would have been easier for her to have been good to his son.
Whether Mrs. Kirkpatrick or Molly wanted the day they were spending together at the Towers to be over more was uncertain. Mrs. Kirkpatrick was somewhat tired of girls as a group. All the challenges in her life were somehow related to girls. She was very young when she first became a governess and had struggled with her pupils at her very first job. Her elegance in appearance and manner, along with her skills, helped her land good "positions" more easily than most, and she had been quite spoiled in some of them; however, she constantly faced naughty, stubborn, overly conscientious, judgmental, or overly observant girls. Moreover, before Cynthia was born, she had wished for a son, thinking it was possible that if a few family members passed away, he could inherit a baronetcy; and instead of a son, here came a daughter! Still, despite her general disdain for girls—whom she referred to as "the plagues of her life" (a feeling that wasn’t helped by her experience running a school for "young ladies" at Ashcombe)—she genuinely intended to be as kind as she could to her new stepdaughter, who she mostly remembered as a dark-haired, sleepy child who looked up to her with admiration. Mrs. Kirkpatrick accepted Mr. Gibson mainly because she was weary of the struggle to earn a living; however, she liked him personally—indeed, she even loved him in her subdued way—and she planned to treat his daughter well, although she sensed it would have been easier for her to be kind to his son.
Molly was bracing herself up in her way too. "I will be like Harriet. I will think of others. I won't think of myself," she kept repeating all the way to the Towers. But there was no selfishness in wishing that the day was come to an end, and that she did very heartily. Mrs. Hamley sent her thither in the carriage, which was to wait and bring her back at night. Mrs. Hamley wanted Molly to make a favourable impression, and she sent for her to come and show herself before she set out.
Molly was preparing herself in her own way too. "I will be like Harriet. I will think of others. I won't think of myself," she kept repeating all the way to the Towers. But there was no selfishness in hoping that the day would come to an end, and she wished for that very sincerely. Mrs. Hamley sent her there in the carriage, which was meant to wait and bring her back at night. Mrs. Hamley wanted Molly to make a good impression, so she called for her to come and present herself before she set off.
"Don't put on your silk gown—your white muslin will look the nicest, my dear."
"Don't wear your silk gown—your white muslin will look the best, my dear."
"Not my silk? it is quite new! I had it to come here."
"Not my silk? It's really new! I got it to come here."
"Still, I think your white muslin suits you the best." "Anything but that horrid plaid silk" was the thought in Mrs. Hamley's mind; and, thanks to her, Molly set off for the Towers, looking a little quaint, it is true, but thoroughly lady-like, if she was old-fashioned. Her father was to meet her there; but he had been detained, and she had to face Mrs. Kirkpatrick by herself, the recollection of her last day of misery at the Towers fresh in her mind as if it had been yesterday. Mrs. Kirkpatrick was as caressing as could be. She held Molly's hand in hers, as they sate together in the library, after the first salutations were over. She kept stroking it from time to time, and purring out inarticulate sounds of loving satisfaction, as she gazed in the blushing face.
"Still, I think your white muslin looks best on you." "Anything but that awful plaid silk," was what Mrs. Hamley was thinking; and, thanks to her, Molly set off for the Towers, looking a bit quirky, it’s true, but completely ladylike, even if she was old-fashioned. Her father was supposed to meet her there, but he got delayed, so she had to face Mrs. Kirkpatrick alone, the memory of her last day of misery at the Towers fresh in her mind as if it had been yesterday. Mrs. Kirkpatrick was as sweet as could be. She held Molly's hand in hers as they sat together in the library after the initial greetings. She kept stroking it now and then and letting out soft sounds of affection as she admired Molly’s blushing face.
"What eyes! so like your dear father's! How we shall love each other—shan't we, darling? For his sake!"
"What beautiful eyes! Just like your dear father's! We're going to love each other so much—right, darling? For his sake!"
"I'll try," said Molly, bravely; and then she could not finish her sentence.
"I'll try," said Molly, bravely; and then she couldn't finish her sentence.
"And you've just got the same beautiful black curling hair!" said Mrs. Kirkpatrick, softly lifting one of Molly's curls from off her white temple.
"And you've got the same beautiful black curly hair!" Mrs. Kirkpatrick said, gently lifting one of Molly's curls off her white temple.
"Papa's hair is growing grey," said Molly.
"Papa's hair is turning gray," said Molly.
"Is it? I never see it. I never shall see it. He will always be to me the handsomest of men."
"Is it? I never see it. I never will see it. He will always be the most handsome guy to me."
Mr. Gibson was really a very handsome man, and Molly was pleased with the compliment; but she could not help saying,—
Mr. Gibson was a really attractive guy, and Molly appreciated the compliment; but she couldn't help saying,—
"Still he will grow old, and his hair will grow grey. I think he will be just as handsome, but it won't be as a young man."
"Still, he will get old, and his hair will turn grey. I believe he will still be just as handsome, but it won't be in the same way as when he was young."
"Ah! that's just it, love. He'll always be handsome; some people always are. And he is so fond of you, dear." Molly's colour flashed into her face. She did not want an assurance of her own father's love from this strange woman. She could not help being angry; all she could do was to keep silent. "You don't know how he speaks of you; 'his little treasure,' as he calls you. I'm almost jealous sometimes."
"Ah! That’s exactly it, love. He'll always be good-looking; some people just are. And he cares so much for you, dear." Molly's face turned red. She didn’t want this strange woman assuring her of her father’s love. It made her feel angry, and all she could do was stay silent. "You have no idea how he talks about you; 'his little treasure,' as he calls you. Sometimes I even feel a bit jealous."
Molly took her hand away, and her heart began to harden; these speeches were so discordant to her. But she set her teeth together, and "tried to be good."
Molly pulled her hand back, and her heart started to harden; these speeches felt so off to her. But she clenched her teeth and "tried to be good."
"We must make him so happy. I'm afraid he has had a great deal to annoy him at home; but we will do away with all that now. You must tell me," seeing the cloud in Molly's eyes, "what he likes and dislikes, for of course you will know."
"We need to make him really happy. I’m worried he’s dealt with a lot of frustration at home; but we’ll change that now. You have to tell me," seeing the sadness in Molly's eyes, "what he likes and dislikes, since you will know."
Molly's face cleared a little; of course she did know. She had not watched and loved him so long without believing that she understood him better than any one else: though how he had come to like Mrs. Kirkpatrick enough to wish to marry her, was an unsolved problem that she unconsciously put aside as inexplicable. Mrs. Kirkpatrick went on,—"All men have their fancies and antipathies, even the wisest. I have known some gentlemen annoyed beyond measure by the merest trifles; leaving a door open, or spilling tea in their saucers, or a shawl crookedly put on. Why," continued she, lowering her voice, "I know of a house to which Lord Hollingford will never be asked again because he didn't wipe his shoes on both the mats in the hall! Now you must tell me what your dear father dislikes most in these fanciful ways, and I shall take care to avoid it. You must be my little friend and helper in pleasing him. It will be such a pleasure to me to attend to his slightest fancies. About my dress, too—what colours does he like best? I want to do everything in my power with a view to his approval."
Molly's expression brightened a bit; of course she knew. She had watched and loved him for so long that she believed she understood him better than anyone else. Still, how he had come to like Mrs. Kirkpatrick enough to want to marry her was a mystery she unconsciously brushed aside as something she couldn't figure out. Mrs. Kirkpatrick continued, "All men have their quirks and dislikes, even the wisest. I've known some men who were incredibly annoyed by the smallest things—like leaving a door open, spilling tea in their saucers, or wearing a shawl crooked. Why," she added, lowering her voice, "I know a household that will never invite Lord Hollingford back because he didn't wipe his shoes on both mats in the hall! Now you have to tell me what your dear father dislikes the most in these silly ways, and I'll make sure to avoid it. You must be my little friend and helper in making him happy. It will be such a pleasure for me to pay attention to his smallest preferences. And about my dress—what colors does he like best? I want to do everything I can to win his approval."
Molly was gratified by all this, and began to think that really, after all, perhaps her father had done well for himself; and that if she could help towards his new happiness, she ought to do it. So she tried very conscientiously to think over Mr. Gibson's wishes and ways; to ponder over what annoyed him the most in his household.
Molly felt pleased by all of this and started to believe that maybe her father had really done well for himself after all. She thought that if she could contribute to his newfound happiness, she should definitely do it. So, she made a genuine effort to consider Mr. Gibson's wishes and habits, trying to reflect on what bothered him the most in his home.
"I think," said she, "papa isn't particular about many things; but I think our not having the dinner quite punctual—quite ready for him when he comes in, fidgets him more than anything. You see, he has often had a long ride, and there is another long ride to come, and he has only half-an-hour—sometimes only a quarter—to eat his dinner in."
"I think," she said, "dad isn't picky about many things; but I feel that us not having dinner ready—completely prepared for him when he gets home—bothers him more than anything else. You see, he's often had a long ride, and there's another long ride ahead, and he only has half an hour—sometimes just a quarter—to eat his dinner."
"Thank you, my own love. Punctuality! Yes; it's a great thing in a household. It's what I've had to enforce with my young ladies at Ashcombe. No wonder poor dear Mr. Gibson has been displeased at his dinner not being ready, and he so hard-worked!"
"Thank you, my love. Timeliness! Yes, it's really important in a household. That's what I've had to make sure my young ladies at Ashcombe understand. No wonder poor Mr. Gibson has been upset about his dinner not being ready, especially since he works so hard!"
"Papa doesn't care what he has, if it's only ready. He would take bread-and-cheese, if cook would only send it in instead of dinner."
"Papa doesn't care about what he has, as long as it's prepared. He would gladly eat bread and cheese if the cook would just send that instead of dinner."
"Bread-and-cheese! Does Mr. Gibson eat cheese?"
"Bread and cheese! Does Mr. Gibson eat cheese?"
"Yes; he's very fond of it," said Molly, innocently. "I've known him eat toasted cheese when he has been too tired to fancy anything else."
"Yeah; he really likes it," said Molly, innocently. "I've seen him eat toasted cheese when he's been too tired to want anything else."
"Oh! but, my dear, we must change all that. I shouldn't like to think of your father eating cheese; it's such a strong-smelling, coarse kind of thing. We must get him a cook who can toss him up an omelette, or something elegant. Cheese is only fit for the kitchen."
"Oh! But, my dear, we need to change all that. I wouldn't want to imagine your father eating cheese; it has such a strong smell and is kind of rough. We need to find him a cook who can whip up an omelette or something fancy. Cheese is only good for the kitchen."
"Papa is very fond of it," persevered Molly.
" Dad really loves it," Molly insisted.
"Oh! but we will cure him of that. I couldn't bear the smell of cheese; and I'm sure he would be sorry to annoy me."
"Oh! but we’ll fix that. I can't stand the smell of cheese, and I'm sure he wouldn't want to upset me."
Molly was silent; it did not do, she found, to be too minute in telling about her father's likes or dislikes. She had better leave them for Mrs. Kirkpatrick to find out for herself. It was an awkward pause; each was trying to find something agreeable to say. Molly spoke at length. "Please! I should so like to know something about Cynthia—your daughter."
Molly was quiet; she realized it wasn’t helpful to be overly detailed about her father’s preferences. It was best to let Mrs. Kirkpatrick discover them on her own. There was an uncomfortable pause as they both searched for something nice to say. Molly finally spoke up. "Please! I would really like to know more about Cynthia—your daughter."
"Yes, call her Cynthia. It's a pretty name, isn't it? Cynthia Kirkpatrick. Not so pretty, though, as my old name, Hyacinth Clare. People used to say it suited me so well. I must show you an acrostic that a gentleman—he was a lieutenant in the 53rd—made upon it. Oh! we shall have a great deal to say to each other, I foresee!"
"Yeah, let’s call her Cynthia. It’s a nice name, right? Cynthia Kirkpatrick. Not as nice as my old name, Hyacinth Clare, though. People always said it suited me perfectly. I have to show you an acrostic that a guy—he was a lieutenant in the 53rd—wrote for it. Oh! I can tell we’re going to have so much to talk about!"
"But about Cynthia?"
"But what about Cynthia?"
"Oh, yes! about dear Cynthia. What do you want to know, my dear?"
"Oh, yes! About dear Cynthia. What do you want to know, my dear?"
"Papa said she was to live with us! When will she come?"
"Dad said she’s going to live with us! When is she coming?"
"Oh, was it not sweet of your kind father? I thought of nothing else but Cynthia's going out as a governess when she had completed her education; she has been brought up for it, and has had great advantages. But good dear Mr. Gibson wouldn't hear of it. He said yesterday that she must come and live with us when she left school."
"Oh, wasn't it nice of your generous father? I couldn't stop thinking about Cynthia becoming a governess once she finished her education; she's been raised for it and has had great opportunities. But the dear Mr. Gibson wouldn't hear of it. He said yesterday that she needs to come and live with us when she graduates."
"When will she leave school?"
"When is she leaving school?"
"She went for two years. I don't think I must let her leave before next summer. She teaches English as well as learning French. Next summer she shall come home, and then shan't we be a happy little quartette?"
"She has been away for two years. I don't think I should let her leave before next summer. She teaches English while also learning French. Next summer she will come home, and then won’t we be a happy little group?"
"I hope so," said Molly. "But she is to come to the wedding, isn't she?" she went on timidly, not knowing how far Mrs. Kirkpatrick would like the allusion to her marriage.
"I hope so," said Molly. "But she's coming to the wedding, right?" she added hesitantly, unsure of how much Mrs. Kirkpatrick would appreciate the mention of her marriage.
"Your father has begged for her to come; but we must think about it a little more before quite fixing it. The journey is a great expense!"
"Your dad has pleaded for her to come; but we need to think about it a bit more before we finalize anything. The trip is really expensive!"
"Is she like you? I do so want to see her."
"Is she like you? I really want to see her."
"She is very handsome, people say. In the bright-coloured style,—perhaps something like what I was. But I like the dark-haired foreign kind of beauty best—just now," touching Molly's hair, and looking at her with an expression of sentimental remembrance.
"She’s really attractive, or so people say. In a bright, colorful way—maybe a bit like how I used to be. But right now, I prefer the dark-haired foreign type of beauty," she said, touching Molly’s hair and looking at her with a nostalgic expression.
"Does Cynthia—is she very clever and accomplished?" asked Molly, a little afraid lest the answer should remove Miss Kirkpatrick at too great a distance from her.
"Is Cynthia—does she seem really smart and talented?" asked Molly, slightly worried that the answer might put Miss Kirkpatrick too far out of her reach.
"She ought to be; I've paid ever so much money to have her taught by the best masters. But you will see her before long, and I'm afraid we must go now to Lady Cumnor. It has been very charming having you all to myself, but I know Lady Cumnor will be expecting us now, and she was very curious to see you,—my future daughter, as she calls you."
"She should be; I've spent a lot of money to have her taught by the best teachers. But you’ll see her soon, and I’m afraid we need to head to Lady Cumnor's now. It’s been really nice having you all to myself, but I know Lady Cumnor will be expecting us, and she’s been very eager to meet you—my future daughter, as she puts it."
Molly followed Mrs. Kirkpatrick into the morning-room, where Lady Cumnor was sitting—a little annoyed, because, having completed her toilette earlier than usual, Clare had not been aware by instinct of the fact, and so had not brought Molly Gibson for inspection a quarter of an hour before. Every small occurrence is an event in the day of a convalescent invalid, and a little while ago Molly would have met with patronizing appreciation, where now she had to encounter criticism. Of Lady Cumnor's character as an individual she knew nothing; she only knew she was going to see and be seen by a live countess; nay, more, by "the countess" of Hollingford.
Molly followed Mrs. Kirkpatrick into the morning room, where Lady Cumnor was sitting—slightly annoyed because, having gotten ready earlier than usual, Clare hadn’t instinctively realized this and hadn’t brought Molly Gibson for inspection a quarter of an hour ago. Every little thing is a big deal in the day of someone recovering from an illness, and not long ago, Molly would have received patronizing praise, but now she had to face criticism. Molly didn’t know much about Lady Cumnor as a person; she just knew she was about to see and be seen by a real countess, or rather, "the countess" of Hollingford.
Mrs. Kirkpatrick led her into Lady Cumnor's presence by the hand, and in presenting her, said,—"My dear little daughter, Lady Cumnor!"
Mrs. Kirkpatrick took her by the hand and escorted her to Lady Cumnor, saying, “My dear little daughter, Lady Cumnor!”
"Now, Clare, don't let me have nonsense. She is not your daughter yet, and may never be,—I believe that one-third of the engagements I have heard of, have never come to marriages. Miss Gibson, I am very glad to see you, for your father's sake; when I know you better, I hope it will be for your own."
"Now, Clare, don't give me any nonsense. She’s not your daughter yet, and she might never be—I believe about a third of the engagements I've heard about never lead to marriage. Miss Gibson, I’m really glad to see you, for your father's sake; when I get to know you better, I hope it will be for your own sake too."
Molly very heartily hoped that she might never be known any better by the stern-looking lady who sate so upright in the easy chair, prepared for lounging, and which therefore gave all the more effect to the stiff attitude. Lady Cumnor luckily took Molly's silence for acquiescent humility, and went on speaking after a further little pause of inspection.
Molly sincerely hoped that the stern-looking lady sitting so upright in the comfortable chair would never get to know her any better. The relaxed chair only highlighted Lady Cumnor's rigid posture. Fortunately, Lady Cumnor mistook Molly's silence for obedient humility and continued talking after a brief moment of observation.
"Yes, yes, I like her looks, Clare. You may make something of her. It will be a great advantage to you, my dear, to have a lady who has trained up several young people of quality always about you just at the time when you are growing up. I'll tell you what, Clare!"—a sudden thought striking her,—"you and she must become better acquainted—you know nothing of each other at present; you are not to be married till Christmas, and what could be better than that she should go back with you to Ashcombe! She would be with you constantly, and have the advantage of the companionship of your young people, which would be a good thing for an only child! It's a capital plan; I'm very glad I thought of it!"
"Yes, yes, I like her looks, Clare. You could really make something of her. It would be a big advantage for you, my dear, to have a lady who's raised several young people of quality around you just when you’re growing up. Here’s an idea, Clare!"—a sudden thought hitting her—"You and she should get to know each other better—you don’t know anything about each other right now; you won’t be married until Christmas, and what could be better than her going back with you to Ashcombe? She would be with you all the time and benefit from the company of your friends, which would be great for an only child! It’s a fantastic plan; I’m really glad I thought of it!"
Now it would be difficult to say which of Lady Cumnor's two hearers was the most dismayed at the idea which had taken possession of her. Mrs. Kirkpatrick had no fancy for being encumbered with a step-daughter before her time. If Molly came to be an inmate of her house, farewell to many little background economies, and a still more serious farewell to many little indulgences, that were innocent enough in themselves, but which Mrs. Kirkpatrick's former life had caused her to look upon as sins to be concealed: the dirty dog's-eared delightful novel from the Ashcombe circulating library, the leaves of which she turned over with a pair of scissors; the lounging-chair which she had for use at her own home, straight and upright as she sate now in Lady Cumnor's presence; the dainty morsel, savoury and small, to which she treated herself for her own solitary supper,—all these and many other similarly pleasant things would have to be foregone if Molly came to be her pupil, parlour-boarder, or visitor, as Lady Cumnor was planning. One—two things Clare was instinctively resolved upon: to be married at Michaelmas, and not to have Molly at Ashcombe. But she smiled as sweetly as if the plan proposed was the most charming project in the world, while all the time her poor brains were beating about in every bush for the reasons or excuses of which she should make use at some future time. Molly, however, saved her all this trouble. It was a question which of the three was the most surprised by the words which burst out of her lips. She did not mean to speak, but her heart was very full, and almost before she was aware of her thought she heard herself saying,—
Now it would be hard to say which of Lady Cumnor's two listeners was more shocked by the idea that had taken hold of her. Mrs. Kirkpatrick didn’t want to deal with a stepdaughter before she was ready. If Molly moved into her house, she would have to say goodbye to many little conveniences and, even more seriously, to many small indulgences that were harmless on their own but which Mrs. Kirkpatrick had learned to see as sins to hide because of her past life: the tattered, delightful novel from the Ashcombe library that she read with a pair of scissors; the lounging chair that she used at home, while now sitting straight and proper in Lady Cumnor's presence; the tasty little treat she enjoyed for her own quiet dinner—all of these and many other simple pleasures would have to be given up if Molly were to become her student, boarder, or visitor as Lady Cumnor was planning. Clare instinctively resolved on two things: to get married at Michaelmas and not to have Molly at Ashcombe. But she smiled sweetly as if the proposed plan was the most delightful idea ever, while her mind was racing to find reasons or excuses she could use later. However, Molly saved her from this trouble. The surprise of the words that slipped out of her mouth was felt by all three. She hadn’t meant to speak, but her heart was so full that, almost without realizing it, she heard herself saying,—
"I don't think it would be nice at all. I mean, my lady, that I should dislike it very much; it would be taking me away from papa just these very few last months. I will like you," she went on, her eyes full of tears; and, turning to Mrs. Kirkpatrick, she put her hand into her future stepmother's with the prettiest and most trustful action. "I will try hard to love you, and to do all I can to make you happy; but you must not take me away from papa just this very last bit of time that I shall have him."
"I really don't think it would be nice at all. I mean, my lady, I would dislike it very much; it would mean being away from Dad just for these last few months. I will like you," she continued, her eyes filled with tears. Turning to Mrs. Kirkpatrick, she placed her hand in her future stepmother's with the sweetest and most trusting gesture. "I will try really hard to love you and do everything I can to make you happy; but you can't take me away from Dad during this short time I have left with him."
Mrs. Kirkpatrick fondled the hand thus placed in hers, and was grateful to the girl for her outspoken opposition to Lady Cumnor's plan. Clare was, however, exceedingly unwilling to back up Molly by any words of her own until Lady Cumnor had spoken and given the cue. But there was something in Molly's little speech, or in her straightforward manner, that amused instead of irritating Lady Cumnor in her present mood. Perhaps she was tired of the silkiness with which she had been shut up for so many days.
Mrs. Kirkpatrick held the hand that was in hers and appreciated the girl for openly opposing Lady Cumnor's plan. However, Clare was very hesitant to support Molly with her own words until Lady Cumnor had spoken first and set the tone. But there was something in Molly's brief speech, or in her direct manner, that amused rather than annoyed Lady Cumnor in that moment. Maybe she was just tired of the smoothness she had been surrounded by for so many days.
She put up her glasses, and looked at them both before speaking. Then she said—"Upon my word, young lady! Why, Clare, you've got your work before you! Not but what there is a good deal of truth in what she says. It must be very disagreeable to a girl of her age to have a stepmother coming in between her father and herself, whatever may be the advantages to her in the long run."
She put on her glasses and looked at both of them before speaking. Then she said, "Honestly, young lady! Clare, you've got a lot to deal with! There's definitely some truth in what she says. It must be really uncomfortable for a girl your age to have a stepmother coming between her and her father, no matter what benefits it might bring in the long run."
Molly almost felt as if she could make a friend of the stiff old countess, for her clearness of sight as to the plan proposed being a trial; but she was afraid, in her new-born desire of thinking for others, of Mrs. Kirkpatrick being hurt. She need not have feared as far as outward signs went, for the smile was still on that lady's pretty rosy lips, and the soft fondling of her hand never stopped. Lady Cumnor was more interested in Molly the more she looked at her; and her gaze was pretty steady through her gold-rimmed eye-glasses. She began a sort of catechism; a string of very straightforward questions, such as any lady under the rank of countess might have scrupled to ask, but which were not unkindly meant.
Molly almost felt like she could befriend the stiff old countess, as she was clear about the proposed plan being a test; but she was worried that her new desire to think for others might hurt Mrs. Kirkpatrick. She didn't need to be concerned about any outward signs, though, since the smile remained on that lady's pretty rosy lips, and the gentle touch of her hand never wavered. Lady Cumnor grew more interested in Molly the more she observed her; her gaze was quite steady behind her gold-rimmed glasses. She started a kind of quiz, a series of straightforward questions that any lady below the rank of countess might have hesitated to ask, but they were not meant to be unkind.
"You are sixteen, are you not?"
"You're 16, right?"
"No; I am seventeen. My birthday was three weeks ago."
"No; I'm seventeen. My birthday was three weeks ago."
"Very much the same thing, I should think. Have you ever been to school?"
"Pretty much the same thing, I guess. Have you ever been to school?"
"No, never! Miss Eyre has taught me everything I know."
"No, never! Miss Eyre has taught me everything I know."
"Umph! Miss Eyre was your governess, I suppose? I should not have thought your father could have afforded to keep a governess. But of course he must know his own affairs best."
"Umph! Miss Eyre was your governess, right? I wouldn’t have guessed your dad could afford to have one. But of course, he must know his own business better."
"Certainly, my lady," replied Molly, a little touchy as to any reflections on her father's wisdom.
"Of course, my lady," replied Molly, a bit sensitive about any comments on her father's intelligence.
"You say 'certainly!' as if it was a matter of course that every one should know their own affairs best. You are very young, Miss Gibson—very. You'll know better before you come to my age. And I suppose you've been taught music, and the use of globes, and French, and all the usual accomplishments, since you have had a governess? I never heard of such nonsense!" she went on, lashing herself up. "An only daughter! If there had been half-a-dozen, there might have been some sense in it."
"You say 'of course!' like it’s obvious that everyone should know their own business best. You’re very young, Miss Gibson—very. You'll realize that when you reach my age. I assume you’ve been taught music, how to use globes, French, and all the usual skills, given that you have a governess? I’ve never heard such nonsense!" she continued, getting worked up. "An only daughter! If there had been half a dozen, there might have been some sense in it."
Molly did not speak, but it was by a strong effort that she kept silence. Mrs. Kirkpatrick fondled her hand more perseveringly than ever, hoping thus to express a sufficient amount of sympathy to prevent her from saying anything injudicious. But the caress had become wearisome to Molly, and only irritated her nerves. She took her hand out of Mrs. Kirkpatrick's, with a slight manifestation of impatience.
Molly didn't say anything, but she really had to work to stay quiet. Mrs. Kirkpatrick held her hand more insistently than before, trying to show enough sympathy to keep her from saying something unwise. But the touch was getting tiresome for Molly and only made her more on edge. She pulled her hand away from Mrs. Kirkpatrick's with a hint of impatience.
It was, perhaps, fortunate for the general peace that just at this moment Mr. Gibson was announced. It is odd enough to see how the entrance of a person of the opposite sex into an assemblage of either men or women calms down the little discordances and the disturbance of mood. It was the case now; at Mr. Gibson's entrance my lady took off her glasses, and smoothed her brow; Mrs. Kirkpatrick managed to get up a very becoming blush, and as for Molly, her face glowed with delight, and the white teeth and pretty dimples came out like sunlight on a landscape.
It was probably a good thing for the overall mood that Mr. Gibson showed up just then. It’s interesting how the arrival of someone from the opposite sex can ease tension and lift the spirits in a group of all men or all women. That happened now; when Mr. Gibson walked in, my lady removed her glasses and relaxed her brow; Mrs. Kirkpatrick put on a flattering blush, and Molly's face lit up with joy, her bright smile and cute dimples shining like sunlight on a beautiful scene.
Of course, after the first greeting, my lady had to have a private interview with her doctor; and Molly and her future stepmother wandered about in the gardens with their arms round each other's waists, or hand in hand, like two babes in the wood; Mrs. Kirkpatrick active in such endearments, Molly passive, and feeling within herself very shy and strange; for she had that particular kind of shy modesty which makes any one uncomfortable at receiving caresses from a person towards whom the heart does not go forth with an impulsive welcome.
Of course, after the initial greeting, my lady needed to have a private meeting with her doctor; and Molly and her future stepmother strolled through the gardens with their arms around each other's waists or holding hands, like two kids in the woods. Mrs. Kirkpatrick was full of affection, while Molly felt shy and odd inside; she had that specific kind of shy modesty that makes someone feel uncomfortable accepting affection from someone their heart doesn't readily embrace.
Then came the early dinner; Lady Cumnor having hers in the quiet of her own room, to which she was still a prisoner. Once or twice during the meal, the idea crossed Molly's mind that her father disliked his position as a middle-aged lover being made so evident to the men in waiting as it was by Mrs. Kirkpatrick's affectionate speeches and innuendos. He tried to banish every tint of pink sentimentalism from the conversation, and to confine it to matter of fact; and when Mrs. Kirkpatrick would persevere in referring to such things as had a bearing on the future relationship of the parties, he insisted upon viewing them in the most matter-of-fact way; and this continued even after the men had left the room. An old rhyme Molly had heard Betty use, would keep running in her head and making her uneasy,—
Then came the early dinner; Lady Cumnor had hers in the quiet of her own room, where she was still a prisoner. Once or twice during the meal, Molly thought that her father disliked being so obviously a middle-aged lover in front of the staff, especially with Mrs. Kirkpatrick's affectionate comments and suggestions. He tried to remove any trace of romantic sentiment from the conversation and keep it straightforward; when Mrs. Kirkpatrick continued to mention things that related to the future relationship of everyone involved, he insisted on looking at them very practically, and this continued even after the men had left the room. An old rhyme Molly had heard Betty use kept running through her head, making her uneasy,—
Two is company, Three is trumpery. |
But where could she go to in that strange house? What ought she to do? She was roused from this fit of wonder and abstraction by her father's saying—"What do you think of this plan of Lady Cumnor's? She says she was advising you to have Molly as a visitor at Ashcombe until we are married."
But where could she go in that weird house? What should she do? She snapped out of her daze when her father said, "What do you think of Lady Cumnor's plan? She suggested that you have Molly stay as a guest at Ashcombe until we get married."
Mrs. Kirkpatrick's countenance fell. If only Molly would be so good as to testify again, as she had done before Lady Cumnor! But if the proposal was made by her father, it would come to his daughter from a different quarter than it had done from a strange lady, be she ever so great. Molly did not say anything; she only looked pale, and wistful, and anxious. Mrs. Kirkpatrick had to speak for herself.
Mrs. Kirkpatrick's expression dropped. If only Molly would be kind enough to testify again, just like she did before Lady Cumnor! But if her father brought it up, it would feel different for his daughter than it did coming from a stranger, no matter how important they were. Molly didn’t say anything; she just looked pale, longing, and worried. Mrs. Kirkpatrick had to speak for herself.
"It would be a charming plan, only—Well! we know why we would rather not have it, don't we, love? And we won't tell papa, for fear of making him vain. No! I think I must leave her with you, dear Mr. Gibson, to have you all to herself for these last few weeks. It would be cruel to take her away."
"It would be a lovely plan, but—Well! we both know why we’d rather not pursue it, right, love? And we won’t tell Dad, to avoid making him conceited. No! I think I should leave her with you, dear Mr. Gibson, so she can have you all to herself for these last few weeks. It would be unkind to take her away."
"But you know, my dear, I told you of the reason why it does not do to have Molly at home just at present," said Mr. Gibson, eagerly. For the more he knew of his future wife, the more he felt it necessary to remember that, with all her foibles, she would be able to stand between Molly and any such adventures as that which had occurred lately with Mr. Coxe; so that one of the good reasons for the step he had taken was always present to him, while it had slipped off the smooth surface of Mrs. Kirkpatrick's mirror-like mind without leaving any impression. She now recalled it, on seeing Mr. Gibson's anxious face.
"But you know, my dear, I shared the reason why it's not a good idea to have Molly at home right now," Mr. Gibson said eagerly. The more he learned about his future wife, the more he realized how important it was to remember that, despite her quirks, she would be able to protect Molly from any situations like the one that just happened with Mr. Coxe. So, one of the solid reasons for his decision was always in his mind, while it had slipped off the smooth surface of Mrs. Kirkpatrick's mind without leaving any impression. She remembered it now as she saw Mr. Gibson's worried expression.
But what were Molly's feelings at these last words of her father's? She had been sent from home for some reason, kept a secret from her, but told to this strange woman. Was there to be perfect confidence between these two, and she to be for ever shut out? Was she, and what concerned her—though how she did not know—to be discussed between them for the future, and she to be kept in the dark? A bitter pang of jealousy made her heart-sick. She might as well go to Ashcombe, or anywhere else, now. Thinking more of others' happiness than of her own was very fine; but did it not mean giving up her very individuality, quenching all the warm love, the true desires, that made her herself? Yet in this deadness lay her only comfort; or so it seemed. Wandering in such mazes, she hardly knew how the conversation went on; a third was indeed "trumpery," where there was entire confidence between the two who were company, from which the other was shut out. She was positively unhappy, and her father did not appear to see it; he was absorbed with his new plans and his new wife that was to be. But he did notice it; and was truly sorry for his little girl: only he thought that there was a greater chance for the future harmony of the household, if he did not lead Molly to define her present feelings by putting them into words. It was his general plan to repress emotion by not showing the sympathy he felt. Yet, when he had to leave, he took Molly's hand in his, and held it there, in such a different manner to that in which Mrs. Kirkpatrick had done; and his voice softened to his child as he bade her good-by, and added the words (most unusual to him), "God bless you, child!"
But what was Molly feeling about her father's last words? She had been sent away from home for some reason that was kept a secret from her but was shared with this strange woman. Was there going to be complete trust between them, while she was forever excluded? Would her own concerns—whatever they were—be discussed between them in the future, leaving her in the dark? A bitter pang of jealousy made her heart ache. She might as well go to Ashcombe or anywhere else now. Thinking more about others' happiness than her own sounded noble, but didn’t it mean giving up her own individuality, quenching all the warm love and true desires that defined her? Yet in this numbness lay her only comfort; or so it seemed. As she wandered in such confusion, she barely kept track of the conversation; a third person was truly "trumpery" when there was complete confidence between the two who were together, excluding her. She was genuinely unhappy, and her father didn’t seem to notice; he was consumed by his new plans and his forthcoming new wife. But he did notice, and he felt truly sorry for his little girl; he just believed that avoiding encouraging Molly to put her feelings into words would create a better chance for harmony in their future household. His usual approach was to suppress emotion by not showing the sympathy he felt. Yet, when it was time to leave, he took Molly's hand in his, holding it in a way that was completely different from Mrs. Kirkpatrick's, and his voice softened as he said goodbye to her, adding the words (which were very unusual for him), "God bless you, child!"
Molly had held up all the day bravely; she had not shown anger, or repugnance, or annoyance, or regret; but when once more by herself in the Hamley carriage, she burst into a passion of tears, and cried her fill till she reached the village of Hamley. Then she tried in vain to smooth her face into smiles, and do away with the other signs of her grief. She only hoped she could run upstairs to her own room without notice, and bathe her eyes in cold water before she was seen. But at the Hall-door she was caught by the squire and Roger coming in from an after-dinner stroll in the garden, and hospitably anxious to help her to alight. Roger saw the state of things in an instant, and saying,—
Molly had held herself together all day; she hadn’t shown anger, disgust, annoyance, or regret. But once she was alone in the Hamley carriage, she broke down in tears, crying until they reached the village of Hamley. Then she tried unsuccessfully to force a smile and hide any signs of her sadness. She just hoped she could run upstairs to her room without being noticed and splash her face with cold water before anyone saw her. But at the hall door, she was spotted by the squire and Roger, who were coming in from an after-dinner walk in the garden, eager to help her get out of the carriage. Roger quickly realized what was going on and said,—
"My mother has been looking for you to come back for this last hour," he led the way to the drawing-room. But Mrs. Hamley was not there; the Squire had stopped to speak to the coachman about one of the horses; they two were alone. Roger said,—
"My mom has been looking for you to come back for the past hour," he led the way to the living room. But Mrs. Hamley wasn't there; the Squire had stopped to talk to the coachman about one of the horses; it was just the two of them. Roger said,—
"I'm afraid you've had a very trying day. I have thought of you several times, for I know how awkward these new relations are."
"I'm sorry to hear you had such a tough day. I’ve thought about you a lot because I know how uncomfortable these new relationships can be."
"Thank you," said she, her lips trembling, and on the point of crying again. "I did try to remember what you said, and to think more of others, but it is so difficult sometimes; you know it is, don't you?"
"Thank you," she said, her lips shaking and about to cry again. "I tried to remember what you said and to focus more on others, but it's really hard sometimes; you know that, right?"
"Yes," said he, gravely. He was gratified by her simple confession of having borne his words of advice in mind, and tried to act up to them. He was but a very young man, and he was honestly flattered; perhaps this led him on to offer more advice, and this time it was evidently mingled with sympathy. He did not want to draw out her confidence, which he felt might very easily be done with such a simple girl; but he wished to help her by giving her a few of the principles on which he had learnt to rely. "It is difficult," he went on, "but by-and-by you will be so much happier for it."
"Yes," he said seriously. He felt pleased by her straightforward admission that she had taken his advice to heart and was trying to follow it. He was still quite young, and he was genuinely flattered; maybe that encouraged him to give her more advice, this time mixed with genuine concern. He didn’t want to pry into her feelings, knowing it would be easy to do so with someone as uncomplicated as her; instead, he wanted to help her by sharing some principles he had learned to trust. "It’s tough," he continued, "but eventually, you'll be much happier for it."
"No, I shan't!" said Molly, shaking her head. "It will be very dull when I shall have killed myself, as it were, and live only in trying to do, and to be, as other people like. I don't see any end to it. I might as well never have lived. And as for the happiness you speak of, I shall never be happy again."
"No, I won’t!" said Molly, shaking her head. "It’ll be really boring once I’ve essentially killed myself by trying to do and be what everyone else wants. I don’t see any point to it. I might as well have never lived. And about the happiness you’re talking about, I’ll never be happy again."
There was an unconscious depth in what she said, that Roger did not know how to answer at the moment; it was easier to address himself to the assertion of the girl of seventeen, that she should never be happy again.
There was an unspoken depth in what she said that Roger didn’t know how to respond to at the time; it was easier for him to focus on the claim from the seventeen-year-old girl that she would never be happy again.
"Nonsense: perhaps in ten years' time you will be looking back on this trial as a very light one—who knows?"
"Nonsense: maybe in ten years, you'll look back on this trial as a pretty easy one—who knows?"
"I daresay it seems foolish; perhaps all our earthly trials will appear foolish to us after a while; perhaps they seem so now to angels. But we are ourselves, you know, and this is now, not some time to come, a long, long way off. And we are not angels, to be comforted by seeing the ends for which everything is sent."
"I dare say it seems silly; maybe all our struggles on Earth will seem silly to us eventually; maybe they seem that way to angels right now. But we are who we are, and this is now, not some distant time in the future. And we aren’t angels, comforted by knowing the reasons behind everything that happens."
She had never spoken so long a sentence to him before; and when she had said it, though she did not take her eyes away from his, as they stood steadily looking at each other, she blushed a little; she could not have told why. Nor did he tell himself why a sudden pleasure came over him as he gazed at her simple expressive face—and for a moment lost the sense of what she was saying, in the sensation of pity for her sad earnestness. In an instant more he was himself again. Only it is pleasant to the wisest, most reasonable youth of one or two and twenty to find himself looked up to as a Mentor by a girl of seventeen.
She had never spoken such a long sentence to him before, and after she finished, even though she kept her eyes on his as they stood looking at each other, she flushed slightly; she couldn't quite explain why. He also didn't understand why a sudden joy washed over him as he looked at her simple, expressive face—and for a moment, he lost track of what she was saying, caught up in a feeling of pity for her serious sincerity. In an instant, he was back to himself. Still, it's nice for the wisest, most sensible young man of twenty-one or twenty-two to feel admired as a mentor by a girl of seventeen.
"I know, I understand. Yes: it is now we have to do with. Don't let us go into metaphysics." Molly opened her eyes wide at this. Had she been talking metaphysics without knowing it? "One looks forward to a mass of trials, which will only have to be encountered one by one, little by little. Oh, here is my mother! she will tell you better than I can."
"I get it, I understand. Yes: it’s now that we need to focus on. Let’s not dive into metaphysics." Molly widened her eyes at this. Had she been discussing metaphysics without realizing it? "You anticipate a lot of challenges, but you’ll have to face them one by one, bit by bit. Oh, here’s my mom! She can explain it better than I can."
And the tête-à-tête was merged in a trio. Mrs. Hamley lay down; she had not been well all day—she had missed Molly, she said,—and now she wanted to hear of all the adventures that had occurred to the girl at the Towers. Molly sate on a stool close to the head of the sofa, and Roger, though at first he took up a book and tried to read that he might be no restraint, soon found his reading all a pretence: it was so interesting to listen to Molly's little narrative, and, besides, if he could give her any help in her time of need, was it not his duty to make himself acquainted with all the circumstances of her case?
And the tête-à-tête turned into a trio. Mrs. Hamley lay down; she hadn't been feeling well all day—she said she missed Molly—and now she wanted to hear about all the adventures the girl had at the Towers. Molly sat on a stool near the head of the sofa, and Roger, even though he initially picked up a book and tried to read so he wouldn't be a distraction, soon realized he was just pretending to read: it was too interesting to listen to Molly's little story, and besides, if he could help her in her time of need, wasn’t it his responsibility to know all the details of her situation?
And so they went on during all the remaining time of Molly's stay at Hamley. Mrs. Hamley sympathized, and liked to hear details; as the French say, her sympathy was given en détail, the Squire's en gros. He was very sorry for her evident grief, and almost felt guilty, as if he had had a share in bringing it about, by the mention he had made of the possibility of Mr. Gibson's marrying again, when first Molly came on her visit to them. He said to his wife more than once,—
And so they continued like this for the rest of Molly's time at Hamley. Mrs. Hamley felt sympathetic and enjoyed hearing all the details; as the French say, her sympathy was given en détail, while the Squire’s was en gros. He felt genuinely sorry for her obvious sadness and almost felt guilty, as if he had played a part in causing it by mentioning the possibility of Mr. Gibson marrying again when Molly first came to visit them. He told his wife more than once,—
"'Pon my word, now, I wish I'd never spoken those unlucky words that first day at dinner. Do you remember how she took them up? It was like a prophecy of what was to come, now, wasn't it? And she looked pale from that day, and I don't think she has ever fairly enjoyed her food since. I must take more care what I say for the future. Not but what Gibson is doing the very best thing, both for himself and her, that he can do. I told him so only yesterday. But I'm very sorry for the little girl, though. I wish I'd never spoken about it, that I do! but it was like a prophecy, wasn't it?"
"I swear, I wish I had never said those unfortunate words that first day at dinner. Do you remember how she reacted? It felt like a prediction of what was going to happen, didn’t it? She looked pale ever since, and I don’t think she has really enjoyed her food since then. I need to be more careful about what I say in the future. Not that Gibson isn’t doing the best for himself and her—he really is. I told him that just yesterday. But I feel really bad for the little girl. I wish I had never brought it up, really! But it felt like a prediction, didn’t it?"
Roger tried hard to find out a reasonable and right method of comfort, for he, too, in his way, was sorry for the girl, who bravely struggled to be cheerful, in spite of her own private grief, for his mother's sake. He felt as if high principle and noble precept ought to perform an immediate work. But they do not, for there is always the unknown quantity of individual experience and feeling, which offer a tacit resistance, the amount incalculable by another, to all good counsel and high decree. But the bond between the Mentor and his Telemachus strengthened every day. He endeavoured to lead her out of morbid thought into interest in other than personal things; and, naturally enough, his own objects of interest came readiest to hand. She felt that he did her good, she did not know why or how; but after a talk with him, she always fancied that she had got the clue to goodness and peace, whatever befell.
Roger worked hard to figure out a reasonable and right way to offer comfort, because, in his own way, he felt sorry for the girl who bravely tried to stay cheerful despite her own private sadness for his mother’s sake. He felt that high principles and noble teachings should make an immediate impact. But they don’t, because there’s always the unknown factor of individual experience and emotions, which adds an unmeasurable resistance to all well-meaning advice and lofty ideals. Still, the connection between the Mentor and his Telemachus grew stronger every day. He tried to help her shift her focus from gloomy thoughts to being interested in things beyond her personal troubles; and naturally, his own interests were the most accessible. She sensed that he was helping her, though she didn’t quite understand why or how; but after talking to him, she always felt like she had discovered the key to goodness and peace, no matter what happened.
CHAPTER XII.
PREPARING FOR THE WEDDING.
eanwhile the love-affairs
between the middle-aged couple were
prospering well, after a fashion; after the fashion that they liked
best, although it might probably have appeared dull and prosaic to
younger people. Lord Cumnor had come down in great glee at the news
he had heard from his wife at the Towers. He, too, seemed to think he
had taken an active part in bringing about the match by only speaking
about it. His first words on the subject to Lady Cumnor
were,—
Meanwhile, the love life of the middle-aged couple was thriving, in their own way; in the way they preferred, even if it might come off as boring and mundane to younger folks. Lord Cumnor was quite pleased with the news he had received from his wife at the Towers. He also seemed to believe that his casual comments had played a role in making the match happen. His first words on the topic to Lady Cumnor were,—
"I told you so. Now didn't I say what a good, suitable thing this affair between Gibson and Clare would be! I don't know when I've been so much pleased. You may despise the trade of match-maker, my lady, but I am very proud of it. After this, I shall go on looking out for suitable cases among the middle-aged people of my acquaintance. I shan't meddle with young folks, they are so apt to be fanciful; but I've been so successful in this, that I do think it's good encouragement to go on."
"I told you so. Didn’t I mention how great this situation between Gibson and Clare would be? I can’t remember the last time I was this happy. You might look down on being a matchmaker, my lady, but I take a lot of pride in it. From now on, I’ll keep an eye out for suitable matches among the middle-aged people I know. I won’t get involved with the young ones; they tend to be so whimsical. However, since I’ve had such success with this, I believe it's a good reason to continue."
"Go on—with what?" asked Lady Cumnor, drily.
"Go on—with what?" Lady Cumnor asked flatly.
"Oh, planning,—you can't deny that I planned this match."
"Oh, planning—you can't argue that I planned this match."
"I don't think you are likely to do either much good or harm by planning," she replied, with cool, good sense.
"I don’t think planning is really going to do you much good or harm," she replied, with calm, practical reasoning.
"It puts it into people's heads, my dear."
"It puts it in people's heads, my dear."
"Yes, if you speak about your plans to them, of course it does. But in this case you never spoke to either Mr. Gibson or Clare, did you?"
"Yeah, if you talk about your plans with them, it definitely counts. But in this case, you never talked to either Mr. Gibson or Clare, did you?"
All at once the recollection of how Clare had come upon the passage in Lord Cumnor's letter flashed on his lady, but she did not say anything about it, but left her husband to flounder about as best he might.
All of a sudden, she remembered how Clare had discovered the part in Lord Cumnor's letter, but she didn’t say anything about it and let her husband struggle as best he could.
"No! I never spoke to them; of course not."
"No! I never talked to them; definitely not."
"Then you must be strongly mesmeric, and your will acted upon theirs, if you are to take credit for any part in the affair," continued his pitiless wife.
"Then you must be really mesmerizing, and your will must have influenced theirs if you want to take any credit for what happened," continued his unyielding wife.
"I really can't say. It's no use looking back to what I said or did. I'm very well satisfied with it, and that's enough, and I mean to show them how much I'm pleased. I shall give Clare something towards her rigging out, and they shall have a breakfast at Ashcombe Manor-house. I'll write to Preston about it. When did you say they were to be married?"
"I honestly can't say. There's no point in reflecting on what I said or did. I'm really happy with it, and that's all that matters, and I intend to show them just how pleased I am. I'll give Clare something for her outfit, and they'll have a breakfast at Ashcombe Manor. I'll write to Preston about it. When did you say they were getting married?"
"I think they'd better wait till Christmas, and I have told them so. It would amuse the children, going over to Ashcombe for the wedding; and if it's bad weather during the holidays I'm always afraid of their finding it dull at the Towers. It's very different if it's a good frost, and they can go out skating and sledging in the park. But these last two years it has been so wet for them, poor dears!"
"I think they should wait until Christmas, and I've told them that. It would be fun for the kids to go to Ashcombe for the wedding; and if the weather is bad during the holidays, I'm always worried they'll find it boring at the Towers. It's a lot more enjoyable if it's a nice freeze, and they can go skating and sledding in the park. But these past two years have been so wet for them, poor things!"
"And will the other poor dears be content to wait to make a holiday for your grandchildren? 'To make a Roman holiday.' Pope, or somebody else, has a line of poetry like that. 'To make a Roman holiday,'"—he repeated, pleased with his unusual aptitude at quotation.
"And will the other poor souls be happy to wait to create a holiday for your grandchildren? 'To make a Roman holiday.' Pope, or someone else, has a line of poetry like that. 'To make a Roman holiday,'"—he repeated, pleased with his unusual skill at quoting.
"It's Byron, and it's nothing to do with the subject in hand. I'm surprised at your lordship's quoting Byron,—he was a very immoral poet."
"It's Byron, and it has nothing to do with the topic we're discussing. I'm surprised your lordship quoted Byron—he was a pretty immoral poet."
"I saw him take his oaths in the House of Lords," said Lord Cumnor, apologetically.
"I saw him take his oaths in the House of Lords," said Lord Cumnor, apologetically.
"Well! the less said about him the better," said Lady Cumnor. "I have told Clare that she had better not think of being married before Christmas: and it won't do for her to give up her school in a hurry either."
"Well! The less said about him, the better," said Lady Cumnor. "I’ve told Clare that she should probably avoid thinking about getting married before Christmas, and it won't be good for her to rush into leaving her school either."
But Clare did not intend to wait till Christmas; and for this once she carried her point against the will of the countess, and without many words, or any open opposition. She had a harder task in setting aside Mr. Gibson's desire to have Cynthia over for the wedding, even if she went back to her school at Boulogne directly after the ceremony. At first she had said that it would be delightful, a charming plan; only she feared that she must give up her own wishes to have her child near her at such a time, on account of the expense of the double journey.
But Clare wasn't planning to wait until Christmas; this time, she got her way against the countess's wishes, and without much discussion or any outright disagreement. She found it more challenging to dismiss Mr. Gibson's wish to have Cynthia come for the wedding, even if she returned to her school in Boulogne right after the ceremony. Initially, she thought it would be wonderful, a lovely idea; however, she worried that she would have to set aside her own desire to have her child close at such a time, due to the cost of the two trips.
But Mr. Gibson, economical as he was in his habitual expenditure, had a really generous heart. He had already shown it, in entirely relinquishing his future wife's life-interest in the very small property the late Mr. Kirkpatrick had left, in favour of Cynthia; while he arranged that she should come to his home as a daughter as soon as she left the school she was at. The life-interest was about thirty pounds a year. Now he gave Mrs. Kirkpatrick three five-pound notes, saying that he hoped they would do away with the objections to Cynthia's coming over to the wedding; and at the time Mrs. Kirkpatrick felt as if they would, and caught the reflection of his strong wish, and fancied it was her own. If the letter could have been written and the money sent off that day while the reflected glow of affection lasted, Cynthia would have been bridesmaid to her mother. But a hundred little interruptions came in the way of letter-writing; and by the next day maternal love had diminished; and the value affixed to the money had increased: money had been so much needed, so hardly earned in Mrs. Kirkpatrick's life; while the perhaps necessary separation of mother and child had lessened the amount of affection the former had to bestow. So she persuaded herself, afresh, that it would be unwise to disturb Cynthia at her studies; to interrupt the fulfilment of her duties just after the semestre had begun afresh; and she wrote a letter to Madame Lefevre so well imbued with this persuasion, that an answer which was almost an echo of her words was returned, the sense of which being conveyed to Mr. Gibson, who was no great French scholar, settled the vexed question, to his moderate but unfeigned regret. But the fifteen pounds were not returned. Indeed, not merely that sum, but a great part of the hundred which Lord Cumnor had given her for her trousseau, was required to pay off debts at Ashcombe; for the school had been anything but flourishing since Mrs. Kirkpatrick had had it. It was really very much to her credit that she preferred clearing herself from debt to purchasing wedding finery. But it was one of the few points to be respected in Mrs. Kirkpatrick that she had always been careful in payment to the shops where she dealt; it was a little sense of duty cropping out. Whatever other faults might arise from her superficial and flimsy character, she was always uneasy till she was out of debt. Yet she had no scruple in appropriating her future husband's money to her own use, when it was decided that it was not to be employed as he intended. What new articles she bought for herself, were all such as would make a show, and an impression upon the ladies of Hollingford. She argued with herself that linen, and all under-clothing, would never be seen; while she knew that every gown she had, would give rise to much discussion, and would be counted up in the little town.
But Mr. Gibson, as frugal as he was with his usual spending, had a genuinely generous heart. He had already demonstrated this by completely giving up his future wife’s life-interest in the very small property that the late Mr. Kirkpatrick had left, in favor of Cynthia; and he arranged for her to come to his home as a daughter as soon as she finished at her school. The life-interest was about thirty pounds a year. Now, he gave Mrs. Kirkpatrick three five-pound notes, saying he hoped this would eliminate the objections to Cynthia coming to the wedding; and at the time, Mrs. Kirkpatrick felt that it would, reflecting his strong desire and assuming it was her own. If the letter could have been written and the money sent off that day while the warmth of affection lingered, Cynthia would have been her mother’s bridesmaid. But a hundred little interruptions got in the way of writing the letter; by the next day, maternal love had faded, and the value of the money increased: money had been desperately needed and hard-earned in Mrs. Kirkpatrick's life; while the perhaps necessary separation of mother and child had reduced the affection that she could give. So, she convinced herself, again, that it would be unwise to disturb Cynthia at her studies and disrupt the fulfillment of her duties just after the semester had begun anew; she wrote a letter to Madame Lefevre so filled with this reasoning that an answer that closely mirrored her words was returned. The essence of this response, conveyed to Mr. Gibson, who wasn’t a great French scholar, resolved the troubling question, much to his moderate but genuine regret. However, the fifteen pounds were not returned. In fact, not just that amount, but a large part of the hundred that Lord Cumnor had given her for her trousseau was needed to settle debts at Ashcombe; the school had not been thriving since Mrs. Kirkpatrick had taken it over. It really speaks well of her character that she preferred to pay off her debts rather than buy wedding finery. But it was one of the few admirable traits of Mrs. Kirkpatrick that she had always been careful to pay the shops where she shopped; it was a small sense of duty that occasionally surfaced. Whatever other faults may stem from her shallow and flimsy character, she was always uneasy until she was out of debt. Yet she had no hesitation in using her future husband’s money for her own purposes once it was decided it wouldn’t be used as he intended. The new items she bought for herself were all meant to make a statement and impress the ladies of Hollingford. She justified to herself that linen and all underclothing would never be seen; while she knew that every gown she had would spark plenty of conversation and would be tallied up in the small town.
So her stock of underclothing was very small, and scarcely any of it new; but it was made of dainty material, and was finely mended up by her deft fingers, many a night long after her pupils were in bed; inwardly resolving all the time she sewed, that hereafter some one else should do her plain-work. Indeed, many a little circumstance of former subjection to the will of others rose up before her during these quiet hours, as an endurance or a suffering never to occur again. So apt are people to look forward to a different kind of life from that to which they have been accustomed, as being free from care and trial! She recollected how, one time during this very summer at the Towers, after she was engaged to Mr. Gibson, when she had taken above an hour to arrange her hair in some new mode carefully studied from Mrs. Bradley's fashion-book—after all, when she came down, looking her very best, as she thought, and ready for her lover, Lady Cumnor had sent her back again to her room, just as if she had been a little child, to do her hair over again, and not to make such a figure of fun of herself! Another time she had been sent to change her gown for one in her opinion far less becoming, but which suited Lady Cumnor's taste better. These were little things; but they were late samples of what in different shapes she had had to endure for many years; and her liking for Mr. Gibson grew in proportion to her sense of the evils from which he was going to serve as a means of escape. After all, that interval of hope and plain-sewing, intermixed though it was with tuition, was not disagreeable. Her wedding-dress was secure. Her former pupils at the Towers were going to present her with that; they were to dress her from head to foot on the auspicious day. Lord Cumnor, as has been said, had given her a hundred pounds for her trousseau, and had sent Mr. Preston a carte-blanche order for the wedding-breakfast in the old hall in Ashcombe Manor-house. Lady Cumnor—a little put out by the marriage not being deferred till her grandchildren's Christmas holidays—had nevertheless given Mrs. Kirkpatrick an excellent English-made watch and chain; more clumsy but more serviceable than the little foreign elegance that had hung at her side so long, and misled her so often.
So, her collection of underwear was pretty small, and hardly any of it was new; but it was made of lovely material and was carefully repaired by her skilled hands many nights long after her students were sound asleep, constantly telling herself as she sewed that one day, someone else would handle her basic clothing repairs. Indeed, during these quiet hours, many little memories of her past need to conform to others' wishes came flooding back to her, reminding her of past endurance or suffering that she promised would never happen again. It's so common for people to look ahead to a different life than the one they know, imagining it to be free from worries and challenges! She recalled a time during that very summer at the Towers, after she got engaged to Mr. Gibson, when she spent over an hour styling her hair in a new way she had carefully learned from Mrs. Bradley's fashion book—only to be sent back to her room by Lady Cumnor, as if she were a little girl, to redo her hair and not to make such a fool of herself! Another time, she had to change her dress for one that she thought looked far less flattering, but that suited Lady Cumnor's tastes better. These were small things; but they were recent reminders of the various ways she had to endure for many years; and her affection for Mr. Gibson grew alongside her awareness of the troubles he was helping her escape. Despite everything, those moments of hope and basic sewing, combined with her teaching, weren't too unpleasant. Her wedding dress was all set. Her former students at the Towers were planning to gift it to her; they would dress her from head to toe on that special day. Lord Cumnor, as mentioned, had given her a hundred pounds for her trousseau and had sent Mr. Preston an open order for the wedding breakfast in the old hall at Ashcombe Manor. While Lady Cumnor was a bit upset that the wedding wasn't postponed until her grandchildren's Christmas break, she nonetheless gave Mrs. Kirkpatrick a great English-made watch and chain; it was bulkier but more practical than the delicate foreign one that had hung at her side for so long and often misled her.
Her preparations were thus in a very considerable state of forwardness, while Mr. Gibson had done nothing as yet towards any new arrangement or decoration of his house for his intended bride. He knew he ought to do something. But what? Where to begin, when so much was out of order, and he had so little time for superintendence? At length he came to the wise decision of asking one of the Miss Brownings, for old friendship's sake, to take the trouble of preparing what was immediately requisite; and resolved to leave all the more ornamental decorations that he proposed, to the taste of his future wife. But before making his request to the Miss Brownings, he had to tell them of his engagement, which had hitherto been kept a secret from the townspeople, who had set down his frequent visits at the Towers to the score of the countess's health. He felt how he should have laughed in his sleeve at any middle-aged widower who came to him with a confession of the kind he had now to make to Miss Brownings, and disliked the idea of the necessary call: but it was to be done, so one evening he went in "promiscuous," as they called it, and told them his story. At the end of the first chapter—that is to say, at the end of the story of Mr. Coxe's calf-love, Miss Browning held up her hands in surprise.
Her preparations were quite advanced, while Mr. Gibson had done nothing yet to rearrange or decorate his house for his future wife. He knew he should do something. But what? Where to start, with so much disarray and so little time to oversee it? Eventually, he wisely decided to ask one of the Miss Brownings, out of old friendship, to handle the immediate necessities and planned to leave all the decorative details to the taste of his future wife. However, before making his request to the Miss Brownings, he needed to inform them of his engagement, which had been a secret from the townspeople, who assumed his frequent visits to the Towers were related to the countess's health. He couldn't help but chuckle to himself at the thought of any middle-aged widower approaching him with a confession similar to the one he was about to make to the Miss Brownings, and he wasn't thrilled about the necessary visit. But it had to be done, so one evening he went in unannounced, as they referred to it, and shared his story. At the end of the first chapter—that is, at the conclusion of Mr. Coxe's infatuation—Miss Browning raised her hands in surprise.
"To think of Molly, as I have held in long-clothes, coming to have a lover! Well, to be sure! Sister Phœbe—" (she was just coming into the room), "here's a piece of news! Molly Gibson has got a lover! One may almost say she's had an offer! Mr. Gibson, may not one?—and she's but sixteen!"
"Can you believe that Molly, who I've seen in baby clothes, has a boyfriend now? Wow! Sister Phoebe— (she was just entering the room), "I've got some news! Molly Gibson has a boyfriend! You could almost say she's got an offer! Mr. Gibson, can’t we say that?—and she’s only sixteen!"
"Seventeen, sister," said Miss Phœbe, who piqued herself on knowing all about dear Mr. Gibson's domestic affairs. "Seventeen, the 22nd of last June."
"Seventeen, sis," said Miss Phoebe, who prided herself on knowing everything about dear Mr. Gibson's home life. "Seventeen, the 22nd of last June."
"Well, have it your own way. Seventeen, if you like to call her so!" said Miss Browning, impatiently. "The fact is still the same—she's got a lover; and it seems to me she was in long-clothes only yesterday."
"Fine, do it your way. Seventeen, if that's how you want to refer to her!" said Miss Browning, irritated. "The truth remains the same—she's got a boyfriend; and it feels like she was in diapers just yesterday."
"I'm sure I hope her course of true love will run smooth," said Miss Phœbe.
"I'm really hoping her journey in true love goes smoothly," said Miss Phœbe.
Now Mr. Gibson came in; for his story was not half told, and he did not want them to run away too far with the idea of Molly's love-affair.
Now Mr. Gibson walked in; his story wasn’t even halfway done, and he didn’t want them to get too carried away with the idea of Molly’s love life.
"Molly knows nothing about it. I haven't even named it to any one but you two, and to one other friend. I trounced Coxe well, and did my best to keep his attachment—as he calls it—in bounds. But I was sadly puzzled what to do about Molly. Miss Eyre was away, and I couldn't leave them in the house together without any older woman."
"Molly doesn’t know anything about it. I haven’t mentioned it to anyone except you two and one other friend. I handled Coxe pretty well and tried my best to keep his feelings—like he calls it—in check. But I was really confused about what to do regarding Molly. Miss Eyre was away, and I couldn't leave them in the house together without any older woman around."
"Oh, Mr. Gibson! why did you not send her to us?" broke in Miss Browning. "We would have done anything in our power for you; for your sake, as well as her poor dear mother's."
"Oh, Mr. Gibson! Why didn’t you send her to us?" interrupted Miss Browning. "We would have done anything we could for you, for both your sake and her poor dear mother’s."
"Thank you. I know you would, but it wouldn't have done to have had her in Hollingford, just at the time of Coxe's effervescence. He's better now. His appetite has come back with double force, after the fasting he thought it right to exhibit. He had three helpings of black-currant dumpling yesterday."
"Thank you. I know you would, but it wouldn’t have been good to have her in Hollingford, especially during Coxe's outburst. He’s doing better now. His appetite has returned with a vengeance after the fasting he thought was necessary. He had three helpings of black-currant dumpling yesterday."
"I am sure you are most liberal, Mr. Gibson. Three helpings! And, I daresay, butcher's meat in proportion?"
"I'm sure you're very generous, Mr. Gibson. Three servings! And I imagine plenty of meat to go with it?"
"Oh! I only named it because, with such very young men, it's generally see-saw between appetite and love, and I thought the third helping a very good sign. But still, you know, what has happened once, may happen again."
"Oh! I only mentioned it because, with such young guys, it usually swings back and forth between desire and love, and I thought having a third helping was a really good sign. But still, you know, what has happened once can happen again."
"I don't know. Phœbe had an offer of marriage once—" said Miss Browning.
"I don't know. Phœbe once had a marriage proposal," said Miss Browning.
"Hush! sister. It might hurt his feelings to have it spoken about."
"Hush, sister. It might hurt his feelings to talk about it."
"Nonsense, child! It's five-and-twenty years ago; and his eldest daughter is married herself."
"Nonsense, kid! That was twenty-five years ago, and his oldest daughter is married now."
"I own he has not been constant," pleaded Miss Phœbe, in her tender, piping voice. "All men are not—like you, Mr. Gibson—faithful to the memory of their first-love."
"I admit he hasn't been loyal," pleaded Miss Phœbe, in her gentle, high-pitched voice. "Not all men are—like you, Mr. Gibson—true to the memory of their first love."
Mr. Gibson winced. Jeannie was his first love; but her name had never been breathed in Hollingford. His wife—good, pretty, sensible, and beloved as she had been—was not his second; no, nor his third love. And now he was come to make a confidence about his second marriage.
Mr. Gibson winced. Jeannie was his first love, but no one in Hollingford had ever mentioned her name. His wife—who was good, pretty, sensible, and beloved—was not his second love; in fact, she wasn't even his third. And now he was there to share his thoughts about his second marriage.
"Well, well," said he; "at any rate, I thought I must do something to protect Molly from such affairs while she was so young, and before I had given my sanction. Miss Eyre's little nephew fell ill of scarlet fever—"
"Well, well," he said. "Anyway, I thought I should do something to protect Molly from situations like this while she was still so young, and before I had given my approval. Miss Eyre's little nephew got sick with scarlet fever
"Ah! by-the-by, how careless of me not to inquire. How is the poor little fellow?"
"Ah! By the way, how thoughtless of me not to ask. How is the poor little guy?"
"Worse—better. It doesn't signify to what I've got to say now; the fact was, Miss Eyre couldn't come back to my house for some time, and I cannot leave Molly altogether at Hamley."
"Worse—better. It doesn't matter for what I have to say now; the fact is, Miss Eyre can't come back to my house for a while, and I can't leave Molly completely at Hamley."
"Ah! I see now, why there was that sudden visit to Hamley. Upon my word, it's quite a romance."
"Ah! I get it now, why there was that sudden visit to Hamley. Honestly, it's quite a romance."
"I do like hearing of a love-affair," murmured Miss Phœbe.
"I really enjoy hearing about a love affair," murmured Miss Phoebe.
"Then if you'll let me get on with my story, you shall hear of mine," said Mr. Gibson, quite beyond his patience with their constant interruptions.
"Then if you let me continue my story, you'll hear about mine," said Mr. Gibson, clearly losing his patience with their constant interruptions.
"Yours!" said Miss Phœbe, faintly.
"Yours!" said Miss Phœbe, softly.
"Bless us and save us!" said Miss Browning, with less sentiment in her tone; "what next?"
"Bless us and save us!" said Miss Browning, with less emotion in her voice; "what's next?"
"My marriage, I hope," said Mr. Gibson, choosing to take her expression of intense surprise literally. "And that's what I came to speak to you about."
"My marriage, I hope," said Mr. Gibson, interpreting her look of intense surprise literally. "And that's what I came to talk to you about."
A little hope darted up in Miss Phœbe's breast. She had often said to her sister, in the confidence of curling-time (ladies wore curls in those days), "that the only man who could ever bring her to think of matrimony was Mr. Gibson; but that if he ever proposed, she should feel bound to accept him, for poor dear Mary's sake;" never explaining what exact style of satisfaction she imagined she should give to her dead friend by marrying her late husband. Phœbe played nervously with the strings of her black silk apron. Like the Caliph in the Eastern story, a whole lifetime of possibilities passed through her mind in an instant, of which possibilities the question of questions was, Could she leave her sister? Attend, Phœbe, to the present moment, and listen to what is being said before you distress yourself with a perplexity which will never arise.
A little hope flickered in Miss Phœbe's heart. She had often told her sister, during the intimate moments of getting ready (ladies wore curls back then), "the only man who could ever make her consider marriage is Mr. Gibson; but if he ever asked her, she would feel obligated to accept for poor dear Mary's sake," never explaining what kind of comfort she thought she would provide to her deceased friend by marrying her former husband. Phœbe nervously toyed with the strings of her black silk apron. Like the Caliph in the Eastern tale, a lifetime's worth of possibilities flashed through her mind in an instant, with the main question being, Could she leave her sister? Pay attention, Phœbe, to the present moment, and listen to what's being said before you distress yourself with a worry that may never happen.
"Of course it has been an anxious thing for me to decide who I should ask to be the mistress of my family, the mother of my girl; but I think I've decided rightly at last. The lady I have chosen—"
"Of course, it's been a nerve-wracking decision for me to choose who I should ask to be the head of my family, the mother of my daughter; but I think I've finally made the right choice. The lady I've chosen—"
"Tell us at once who she is, there's a good man," said straight-forward Miss Browning.
"Please tell us who she is right away, if you don’t mind," said straightforward Miss Browning.
"Mrs. Kirkpatrick," said the bridegroom elect.
"Mrs. Kirkpatrick," said the groom.
"What! the governess at the Towers, that the countess makes so much of?"
"What! The governess at the Towers, whom the countess is so fond of?"
"Yes; she is much valued by them—and deservedly so. She keeps a school now at Ashcombe, and is accustomed to housekeeping. She has brought up the young ladies at the Towers, and has a daughter of her own, therefore it is probable she will have a kind, motherly feeling towards Molly."
"Yeah; they really appreciate her—and it’s well-deserved. She runs a school now at Ashcombe and is used to managing a household. She raised the young ladies at the Towers and has a daughter of her own, so it makes sense that she will have a caring, motherly attitude towards Molly."
"She's a very elegant-looking woman," said Miss Phœbe, feeling it incumbent upon her to say something laudatory, by way of concealing the thoughts that had just been passing through her mind. "I've seen her in the carriage, riding backwards with the countess: a very pretty woman, I should say."
"She's a really elegant-looking woman," Miss Phœbe said, feeling the need to say something nice to hide the thoughts that had just crossed her mind. "I've seen her in the carriage, sitting backward with the countess: a very pretty woman, I would say."
"Nonsense, sister," said Miss Browning. "What has her elegance or prettiness to do with the affair? Did you ever know a widower marry again for such trifles as those? It's always from a sense of duty of one kind or another—isn't it, Mr. Gibson? They want a housekeeper; or they want a mother for their children; or they think their last wife would have liked it."
"Nonsense, sis," said Miss Browning. "What do her elegance or looks have to do with anything? Have you ever seen a widower remarry for such small things? It’s always out of some sense of duty—right, Mr. Gibson? They need a housekeeper; or they need a mom for their kids; or they believe their late wife would have wanted it."
Perhaps the thought had passed through the elder sister's mind that Phœbe might have been chosen, for there was a sharp acrimony in her tone; not unfamiliar to Mr. Gibson, but with which he did not choose to cope at this present moment.
Perhaps the thought crossed the elder sister's mind that Phœbe might have been selected, because there was a sharp bitterness in her tone; something Mr. Gibson recognized, but didn't want to deal with right now.
"You must have it your own way, Miss Browning. Settle my motives for me. I don't pretend to be quite clear about them myself. But I am clear in wishing heartily to keep my old friends, and for them to love my future wife for my sake. I don't know any two women in the world, except Molly and Mrs. Kirkpatrick, I regard as much as I do you. Besides, I want to ask you if you will let Molly come and stay with you till after my marriage?"
"You have to do things your way, Miss Browning. Decide my motives for me. I don't really understand them myself. But I’m definitely clear that I want to keep my old friends and for them to love my future wife for my sake. I can't think of any two women in the world, besides Molly and Mrs. Kirkpatrick, who I respect as much as you. Also, I want to ask if you would let Molly come and stay with you until after my wedding?"
"You might have asked us before you asked Madam Hamley," said Miss Browning, only half mollified. "We are your old friends; and we were her mother's friends, too; though we are not county folk."
"You could have asked us before you asked Madam Hamley," said Miss Browning, slightly appeased. "We're your old friends, and we were friends with her mother too, even though we're not from the county."
"That's unjust," said Mr. Gibson. "And you know it is."
"That's unfair," Mr. Gibson said. "And you know it."
"I don't know. You are always with Lord Hollingford, when you can get at him, much more than you ever are with Mr. Goodenough, or Mr. Smith. And you are always going over to Hamley."
"I don't know. You're always with Lord Hollingford whenever you can get to him, way more than you're ever with Mr. Goodenough or Mr. Smith. And you're always going over to Hamley."
Miss Browning was not one to give in all at once.
Miss Browning was not the type to give in easily.
"I seek Lord Hollingford as I should seek such a man, whatever his rank or position might be: usher to a school, carpenter, shoemaker, if it were possible for them to have had a similar character of mind developed by similar advantages. Mr. Goodenough is a very clever attorney, with strong local interests and not a thought beyond."
"I pursue Lord Hollingford the same way I would any man, regardless of his rank or status: a school usher, carpenter, shoemaker, if they could have developed a similar mindset from similar opportunities. Mr. Goodenough is a very smart lawyer, deeply invested in local matters and not thinking about anything beyond that."
"Well, well, don't go on arguing, it always gives me a headache, as Phœbe knows. I didn't mean what I said, that's enough, isn't it? I'll retract anything sooner than be reasoned with. Where were we before you began your arguments?"
"Well, well, stop arguing; it always gives me a headache, as Phœbe knows. I didn't mean what I said, so that's enough, right? I'll take back anything rather than be debated with. Where were we before you started arguing?"
"About dear little Molly coming to pay us a visit," said Miss Phœbe.
"About our sweet little Molly coming to visit us," said Miss Phœbe.
"I should have asked you at first, only Coxe was so rampant with his love. I didn't know what he might do, or how troublesome he might be both to Molly and you. But he has cooled down now. Absence has had a very tranquillizing effect, and I think Molly may be in the same town with him, without any consequences beyond a few sighs every time she's brought to his mind by meeting her. And I've got another favour to ask of you, so you see it would never do for me to argue with you, Miss Browning, when I ought to be a humble suppliant. Something must be done to the house to make it all ready for the future Mrs. Gibson. It wants painting and papering shamefully, and I should think some new furniture, but I'm sure I don't know what. Would you be so very kind as to look over the place, and see how far a hundred pounds will go? The dining-room walls must be painted; we'll keep the drawing-room paper for her choice, and I've a little spare money for that room for her to lay out; but all the rest of the house I'll leave to you, if you'll only be kind enough to help an old friend."
"I should have asked you from the beginning, but Coxe was so intense with his feelings. I didn’t know what he might do or how difficult he might be for both Molly and you. But he has calmed down now. Being apart has really helped, and I think Molly can be in the same town as him without it causing any issues beyond a few sighs every time he thinks of her. And I have another favor to ask of you, so as you can see, it wouldn’t be right for me to argue with you, Miss Browning, when I should be humbly asking for your help. Something needs to be done to the house to prepare it for the future Mrs. Gibson. It really needs painting and wallpapering badly, and I think some new furniture would be nice, but I have no idea what. Would you be so kind as to take a look around and see how far a hundred pounds will go? The dining room walls need to be painted; we’ll save the drawing room wallpaper for her to choose, and I have a little extra money for that room for her to spend; but for the rest of the house, I’ll leave it to you if you’d just be kind enough to help an old friend."
This was a commission which exactly gratified Miss Browning's love of power. The disposal of money involved patronage of trades people, such as she had exercised in her father's lifetime, but had had very little chance of showing since his death. Her usual good-humour was quite restored by this proof of confidence in her taste and economy, while Miss Phœbe's imagination dwelt rather on the pleasure of a visit from Molly.
This was a assignment that perfectly satisfied Miss Browning's desire for control. Managing money meant supporting local businesses, something she had done during her father's life but hadn't had much opportunity to do since he passed away. Her usual good mood was fully restored by this show of trust in her judgment and financial sense, while Miss Phœbe's thoughts were more focused on the excitement of a visit from Molly.
CHAPTER XIII.
MOLLY GIBSON'S NEW FRIENDS.
Time was speeding on; it was now the middle of August,—if anything was to be done to the house, it must be done at once. Indeed, in several ways Mr. Gibson's arrangements with Miss Browning had not been made too soon. The squire had heard that Osborne might probably return home for a few days before going abroad; and, though the growing intimacy between Roger and Molly did not alarm him in the least, yet he was possessed by a very hearty panic lest the heir might take a fancy to the surgeon's daughter; and he was in such a fidget for her to leave the house before Osborne came home, that his wife lived in constant terror lest he should make it too obvious to their visitor.
Time was flying by; it was now the middle of August—if anything was going to be done to the house, it had to happen right away. In fact, Mr. Gibson's arrangements with Miss Browning had turned out to be perfectly timed in several ways. The squire had heard that Osborne might come home for a few days before heading abroad; and while the growing closeness between Roger and Molly didn’t worry him at all, he was genuinely anxious that the heir might develop feelings for the surgeon's daughter. He was so eager for her to leave the house before Osborne returned that his wife constantly feared he might make it too obvious to their guest.
Every young girl of seventeen or so, who is at all thoughtful, is very apt to make a Pope out of the first person who presents to her a new or larger system of duty than that by which she has been unconsciously guided hitherto. Such a Pope was Roger to Molly; she looked to his opinion, to his authority on almost every subject, yet he had only said one or two things in a terse manner which gave them the force of precepts—stable guides to her conduct—and had shown the natural superiority in wisdom and knowledge which is sure to exist between a highly educated young man of no common intelligence, and an ignorant girl of seventeen, who yet was well capable of appreciation. Still, although they were drawn together in this very pleasant relationship, each was imagining some one very different for the future owner of their whole heart—their highest and completest love. Roger looked to find a grand woman, his equal, and his empress; beautiful in person, serene in wisdom, ready for counsel, as was Egeria. Molly's little wavering maiden fancy dwelt on the unseen Osborne, who was now a troubadour, and now a knight, such as he wrote about in one of his own poems; some one like Osborne, perhaps, rather than Osborne himself, for she shrank from giving a personal form and name to the hero that was to be. The squire was not unwise in wishing her well out of the house before Osborne came home, if he was considering her peace of mind. Yet, when she went away from the hall he missed her constantly; it had been so pleasant to have her there fulfilling all the pretty offices of a daughter; cheering the meals, so often tête-à-tête betwixt him and Roger, with her innocent wise questions, her lively interest in their talk, her merry replies to his banter.
Every thoughtful girl around seventeen tends to create an ideal figure out of the first person who introduces her to a new or broader sense of responsibility than what she has followed unconsciously until now. Roger was that figure for Molly; she looked up to his opinions and authority on almost everything. He had only shared a couple of straightforward thoughts that felt like guiding principles—solid directions for her behavior—and he naturally demonstrated the wisdom and knowledge that typically exist between a highly educated young man of notable intelligence and an inexperienced girl of seventeen, who, despite her lack of knowledge, could still appreciate. However, even though they enjoyed this enjoyable connection, both were envisioning someone very different as the true owner of their hearts and ultimate love. Roger wanted to find a remarkable woman, someone on his level, his queen; beautiful and wise, ready to offer counsel, like E
And Roger missed her too. Sometimes her remarks had probed into his mind, and excited him to the deep thought in which he delighted; at other times he had felt himself of real help to her in her hours of need, and in making her take an interest in books, which treated of higher things than the continual fiction and poetry which she had hitherto read. He felt something like an affectionate tutor suddenly deprived of his most promising pupil; he wondered how she would go on without him; whether she would be puzzled and disheartened by the books he had lent her to read; how she and her stepmother would get along together? She occupied his thoughts a good deal those first few days after she left the hall. Mrs. Hamley regretted her more, and longer than did the other two. She had given her the place of a daughter in her heart; and now she missed the sweet feminine companionship, the playful caresses, the never-ceasing attentions; the very need of sympathy in her sorrows, that Molly had shown so openly from time to time; all these things had extremely endeared her to the tender-hearted Mrs. Hamley.
And Roger missed her too. Sometimes her comments had really made him think, sparking the deep thoughts he loved; at other times, he felt he was genuinely helping her during her tough moments and encouraging her to explore books that dealt with more significant topics than the endless fiction and poetry she had usually read. He felt a bit like a devoted teacher suddenly losing his most promising student; he wondered how she would manage without him, whether she would struggle and feel discouraged by the books he had given her to read, and how she would get along with her stepmother. She occupied his mind quite a bit those first few days after she left the hall. Mrs. Hamley missed her more and longer than the other two did. She had given Molly a place in her heart like a daughter; now she longed for the sweet feminine companionship, the playful affection, and the constant care. The very need for sympathy in her sorrows that Molly had shown so openly from time to time had made her extremely dear to the tender-hearted Mrs. Hamley.
Molly, too, felt the change of atmosphere keenly; and she blamed herself for so feeling even more keenly still. But she could not help having a sense of refinement, which had made her appreciate the whole manner of being at the Hall. By her dear old friends the Miss Brownings she was petted and caressed so much that she became ashamed of noticing the coarser and louder tones in which they spoke, the provincialism of their pronunciation, the absence of interest in things, and their greediness of details about persons. They asked her questions which she was puzzled enough to answer about her future stepmother; her loyalty to her father forbidding her to reply fully and truthfully. She was always glad when they began to make inquiries as to every possible affair at the Hall. She had been so happy there; she had liked them all, down to the very dogs, so thoroughly, that it was easy work replying: she did not mind telling them everything, even to the style of Mrs. Hamley's invalid dress; nor what wine the squire drank at dinner. Indeed, talking about these things helped her to recall the happiest time in her life. But one evening, as they were all sitting together after tea in the little upstairs drawing-room, looking into the High Street—Molly discoursing away on the various pleasures of Hamley Hall, and just then telling of all Roger's wisdom in natural science, and some of the curiosities he had shown her, she was suddenly pulled up by this little speech,—
Molly also felt the shift in the atmosphere strongly, and she felt even more guilty for feeling that way. But she couldn't help but have a sense of refinement, which made her appreciate the entire atmosphere at the Hall. With her dear old friends, the Miss Brownings, she was spoiled and pampered so much that she became embarrassed by how coarse and loud they were, the regional accent in their speech, their lack of interest in deeper matters, and their obsession with details about people. They asked her questions about her future stepmother that left her puzzled on how to respond, as her loyalty to her father prevented her from being completely honest. She was always relieved when they started asking about everything happening at the Hall. She had been so happy there; she genuinely liked everyone, even the dogs, so talking about them was easy. She didn't mind sharing everything, even the style of Mrs. Hamley's sickroom outfit or what wine the squire had at dinner. In fact, discussing these things helped her remember the happiest period of her life. However, one evening, as they were all together after tea in the little upstairs drawing-room overlooking the High Street—Molly was chatting away about the many joys of Hamley Hall, specifically mentioning all of Roger's knowledge in natural science and some of the curiosities he had shown her, when she was abruptly interrupted by this little speech,
"You seem to have seen a great deal of Mr. Roger, Molly!" said Miss Browning, in a way intended to convey a great deal of meaning to her sister and none at all to Molly. But—
"You seem to have spent a lot of time with Mr. Roger, Molly!" said Miss Browning, in a way that was meant to imply a lot to her sister and nothing at all to Molly. But—
The man recovered of the bite; The dog it was that died. |
Molly was perfectly aware of Miss Browning's emphatic tone, though at first she was perplexed as to its cause; while Miss Phœbe was just then too much absorbed in knitting the heel of her stocking to be fully alive to her sister's nods and winks.
Molly was well aware of Miss Browning's strong tone, although she was initially confused about why it was so; meanwhile, Miss Phoebe was too focused on knitting the heel of her sock to notice her sister's nods and winks.
"Yes; he was very kind to me," said Molly, slowly, pondering over Miss Browning's manner, and unwilling to say more until she had satisfied herself to what the question tended.
"Yeah; he was really nice to me," Molly said slowly, thinking about Miss Browning's attitude, and not wanting to say more until she figured out what the question was getting at.
"I daresay you will soon be going to Hamley Hall again? He's not the eldest son, you know, Phœbe! Don't make my head ache with your eternal 'eighteen, nineteen,' but attend to the conversation. Molly is telling us how much she saw of Mr. Roger, and how kind he was to her. I've always heard he was a very nice young man, my dear. Tell us some more about him! Now, Phœbe, attend! How was he kind to you, Molly?"
"I bet you'll be heading to Hamley Hall again soon, right? He's not the oldest son, you know, Phœbe! Don’t distract me with your constant ‘eighteen, nineteen,’ and focus on the conversation. Molly is sharing how much she got to know Mr. Roger and how kind he was to her. I've always heard he was a really nice young man, my dear. Share more about him! Now, Phœbe, pay attention! How was he kind to you, Molly?"
"Oh, he told me what books to read; and one day he made me notice how many bees I saw—"
"Oh, he told me which books to read; and one day he pointed out how many bees I saw—
"Bees, child! What do you mean? Either you or he must have been crazy!"
"Bees, kid! What are you talking about? One of you must have been insane!"
"No, not at all. There are more than two hundred kinds of bees in England, and he wanted me to notice the difference between them and flies. Miss Browning, I can't help seeing what you fancy," said Molly, as red as fire, "but it is very wrong; it is all a mistake. I won't speak another word about Mr. Roger or Hamley at all, if it puts such silly notions into your head."
"No, not at all. There are over two hundred types of bees in England, and he wanted me to see how they differ from flies. Miss Browning, I can’t help noticing what you imagine,” said Molly, blushing bright red, “but it’s really wrong; it’s all a misunderstanding. I won’t say another word about Mr. Roger or Hamley if it plants such silly ideas in your mind."
"Highty-tighty! Here's a young lady to be lecturing her elders! Silly notions indeed! They are in your head, it seems. And let me tell you, Molly, you are too young to let your mind be running on lovers."
"Highty-tighty! Here’s a young lady thinking she can lecture her elders! What silly ideas! It looks like they’re all in your head. And let me tell you, Molly, you’re too young to be daydreaming about love."
Molly had been once or twice called saucy and impertinent, and certainly a little sauciness came out now.
Molly had been called sassy and disrespectful once or twice, and there was definitely a bit of sass showing now.
"I never said what the 'silly notion' was, Miss Browning; did I now, Miss Phœbe? Don't you see, dear Miss Phœbe, it is all her own interpretation, and according to her own fancy, this foolish talk about lovers?"
"I never mentioned what the 'silly notion' was, Miss Browning; did I now, Miss Phœbe? Don't you see, dear Miss Phœbe, this is all her own interpretation, and based on her own imagination, this ridiculous chatter about lovers?"
Molly was flaming with indignation; but she had appealed to the wrong person for justice. Miss Phœbe tried to make peace after the fashion of weak-minded people, who would cover over the unpleasant sight of a sore, instead of trying to heal it.
Molly was burning with anger, but she had asked the wrong person for justice. Miss Phœbe tried to calm things down in the way that weak-minded people do, by masking the unpleasantness of a sore instead of actually trying to heal it.
"I'm sure I don't know anything about it, my dear. It seems to me that what Dorothy was saying was very true—very true indeed; and I think, love, you misunderstood her; or, perhaps, she misunderstood you; or I may be misunderstanding it altogether; so we'd better not talk any more about it. What price did you say you were going to give for the drugget in Mr. Gibson's dining-room, sister?"
"I'm honestly not sure about it, my dear. It seems to me that what Dorothy was saying was very true—really true; and I think, love, you misunderstood her; or maybe she misunderstood you; or I might be misunderstanding everything altogether; so we should probably stop talking about it. What price did you say you were going to pay for the carpet in Mr. Gibson's dining room, sister?"
So Miss Browning and Molly went on till evening, each chafed and angry with the other. They wished each other good-night, going through the usual forms in the coolest manner possible. Molly went up to her little bedroom, clean and neat as a bedroom could be, with draperies of small delicate patchwork—bed-curtains, window-curtains, and counterpane; a japanned toilette-table, full of little boxes, with a small looking-glass affixed to it, that distorted every face that was so unwise as to look in it. This room had been to the child one of the most dainty and luxurious places ever seen, in comparison with her own bare, white-dimity bedroom; and now she was sleeping in it, as a guest, and all the quaint adornments she had once peeped at as a great favour, as they were carefully wrapped up in cap-paper, were set out for her use. And yet how little she had deserved this hospitable care; how impertinent she had been; how cross she had felt ever since! She was crying tears of penitence and youthful misery when there came a low tap to the door. Molly opened it, and there stood Miss Browning, in a wonderful erection of a nightcap, and scantily attired in a coloured calico jacket over her scrimpy and short white petticoat.
So Miss Browning and Molly went on until evening, both frustrated and angry with each other. They wished each other goodnight, going through the usual motions in the coldest way possible. Molly went up to her little bedroom, as clean and neat as a bedroom could be, with small delicate patchwork drapes—bed curtains, window curtains, and a bedspread; a shiny vanity filled with little boxes, with a small mirror attached that distorted every face that foolishly looked into it. This room had been for the child one of the most dainty and luxurious places she had ever seen, compared to her own bare, white-dimity bedroom; and now she was sleeping in it, like a guest, with all the quirky decorations she had once peeked at as a special treat, carefully wrapped in paper, now set out for her use. And yet how little she had earned this generous care; how rude she had been; how upset she had felt ever since! She was crying tears of regret and youthful misery when there was a soft knock at the door. Molly opened it, and there stood Miss Browning, in a ridiculous nightcap, wearing a colorful calico jacket over her short, plain white petticoat.
"I was afraid you were asleep, child," said she, coming in and shutting the door. "But I wanted to say to you we've got wrong to-day, somehow; and I think it was perhaps my doing. It's as well Phœbe shouldn't know, for she thinks me perfect; and when there's only two of us, we get along better if one of us thinks the other can do no wrong. But I rather think I was a little cross. We'll not say any more about it, Molly; only we'll go to sleep friends,—and friends we'll always be, child, won't we? Now give me a kiss, and don't cry and swell your eyes up;—and put out your candle carefully."
"I was worried you were asleep, sweetheart," she said as she walked in and closed the door. "But I wanted to tell you that we got into a bit of a mess today; I think it might have been my fault. It’s probably best if Phœbe doesn’t find out because she thinks I’m perfect, and when it’s just the two of us, we get along better if one believes the other can do no wrong. But I do think I was a little grumpy. Let’s not dwell on it, Molly; let’s just go to sleep as friends—and we’ll always be friends, right? Now give me a kiss, and try not to cry and make your eyes puffy; and please blow out your candle carefully."
"I was wrong—it was my fault," said Molly, kissing her.
"I was wrong—it was my fault," Molly said, kissing her.
"Fiddlestick-ends! Don't contradict me! I say it was my fault, and I won't hear another word about it."
"Fiddlestick-ends! Don’t argue with me! I say it was my fault, and I don’t want to hear another word about it."
The next day Molly went with Miss Browning to see the changes going on in her father's house. To her they were but dismal improvements. The faint grey of the dining-room walls, which had harmonized well enough with the deep crimson of the moreen curtains, and which when well cleaned looked thinly coated rather than dirty, was now exchanged for a pink salmon-colour of a very glowing hue; and the new curtains were of that pale sea-green just coming into fashion. "Very bright and pretty," Miss Browning called it; and in the first renewing of their love Molly could not bear to contradict her. She could only hope that the green and brown drugget would tone down the brightness and prettiness. There was scaffolding here, scaffolding there, and Betty scolding everywhere.
The next day, Molly went with Miss Browning to check out the changes happening in her father's house. To her, they were just gloomy upgrades. The faint gray of the dining room walls, which had looked good paired with the deep crimson of the moreen curtains and were actually more clean than dirty, was now replaced with a bright salmon pink; and the new curtains were in that pale sea-green that was just coming into style. "Very bright and pretty," Miss Browning called it, and in the early excitement of their rekindled friendship, Molly couldn’t bring herself to disagree. She could only hope that the green and brown rug would help tone down the brightness and prettiness. There was scaffolding here, scaffolding there, and Betty was scolding everywhere.
"Come up now, and see your papa's bedroom. He's sleeping upstairs in yours, that everything may be done up afresh in his."
"Come on up and see your dad's bedroom. He's sleeping in yours upstairs so everything can be freshened up in his."
Molly could just remember, in faint clear lines of distinctness, the being taken into this very room to bid farewell to her dying mother. She could see the white linen, the white muslin, surrounding the pale, wan wistful face, with the large, longing eyes, yearning for one more touch of the little soft warm child, whom she was too feeble to clasp in her arms, already growing numb in death. Many a time when Molly had been in this room since that sad day, had she seen in vivid fancy that same wan wistful face lying on the pillow, the outline of the form beneath the clothes; and the girl had not shrunk from such visions, but rather cherished them, as preserving to her the remembrance of her mother's outward semblance. Her eyes were full of tears, as she followed Miss Browning into this room to see it under its new aspect. Nearly everything was changed—the position of the bed and the colour of the furniture; there was a grand toilette-table now, with a glass upon it, instead of the primitive substitute of the top of a chest of drawers, with a mirror above upon the wall, sloping downwards; these latter things had served her mother during her short married life.
Molly could barely remember, in faint but clear details, being brought into this room to say goodbye to her dying mother. She could picture the white linen and muslin surrounding her mother's pale, wistful face, with large, longing eyes, yearning for one more touch from the little soft warm child she was too weak to hold in her arms, already growing numb with death. Many times since that sad day, when Molly had been in this room, she had vividly imagined that same wistful face on the pillow, the outline of the body beneath the covers; and she hadn't shied away from those memories, but instead cherished them, as they helped keep the memory of her mother's appearance alive. Her eyes were full of tears as she followed Miss Browning into the room to see it in its new state. Nearly everything had changed—the bed's position and the furniture's color; there was now an elegant vanity table with a mirror on it, instead of the makeshift setup of the top of a chest of drawers with a slanted mirror above that had served her mother during her brief married life.
"You see, we must have all in order for a lady who has passed so much of her time in the countess's mansion," said Miss Browning, who was now quite reconciled to the marriage, thanks to the pleasant employment of furnishing that had devolved upon her in consequence. "Cromer, the upholsterer, wanted to persuade me to have a sofa and a writing-table. These men will say anything is the fashion, if they want to sell an article. I said, 'No, no, Cromer: bedrooms are for sleeping in, and sitting-rooms are for sitting in. Keep everything to its right purpose, and don't try and delude me into nonsense.' Why, my mother would have given us a fine scolding if she had ever caught us in our bedrooms in the daytime. We kept our out-door things in a closet downstairs; and there was a very tidy place for washing our hands, which is as much as one wants in the daytime. Stuffing up a bedroom with sofas and tables! I never heard of such a thing. Besides, a hundred pounds won't last for ever. I sha'n't be able to do anything for your room, Molly!"
"You see, we need to have everything ready for a lady who has spent so much of her time in the countess's mansion," said Miss Browning, who was now fully on board with the marriage, thanks to the enjoyable task of furnishing that had fallen to her. "Cromer, the upholsterer, tried to convince me to get a sofa and a writing desk. These salespeople will claim anything is in style if it means making a sale. I told him, 'No, no, Cromer: bedrooms are for sleeping, and living rooms are for sitting. Keep everything in its proper place, and don’t try to fool me with nonsense.' My mother would have given us a serious talking-to if she ever caught us in our bedrooms during the day. We stored our outdoor things in a closet downstairs, and there was a very neat spot for washing our hands, which is all you really need during the day. Filling a bedroom with sofas and tables! I’ve never heard of such a thing. Plus, a hundred pounds doesn’t last forever. I won’t be able to do anything for your room, Molly!"
"I'm right down glad of it," said Molly. "Nearly everything in it was what mamma had when she lived with my great-uncle. I wouldn't have had it changed for the world; I am so fond of it."
"I'm really happy about it," said Molly. "Almost everything in it was what my mom had when she lived with my great-uncle. I wouldn't want it changed for anything; I love it so much."
"Well, there's no danger of it, now the money is run out. By the way, Molly, who's to buy you a bridesmaid's dress?"
"Well, that's not a concern anymore since the money is gone. By the way, Molly, who’s going to buy you a bridesmaid’s dress?"
"I don't know," said Molly; "I suppose I am to be a bridesmaid; but no one has spoken to me about my dress."
"I don't know," Molly said. "I guess I'm supposed to be a bridesmaid, but no one has talked to me about my dress."
"Then I shall ask your papa."
"Then I'll ask your dad."
"Please, don't. He must have to spend a great deal of money just now. Besides, I would rather not be at the wedding, if they'll let me stay away."
"Please, don't. He probably has to spend a lot of money right now. Besides, I’d prefer not to be at the wedding if they’ll let me skip it."
"Nonsense, child. Why, all the town would be talking of it. You must go, and you must be well dressed, for your father's sake."
"Nonsense, kid. Everyone in town would be talking about it. You have to go, and you need to be well-dressed, for your dad's sake."
But Mr. Gibson had thought of Molly's dress, although he had said nothing about it to her. He had commissioned his future wife to get her what was requisite; and presently a very smart dressmaker came over from the county-town to try on a dress, which was both so simple and so elegant as at once to charm Molly. When it came home all ready to put on, Molly had a private dressing-up for the Miss Brownings' benefit; and she was almost startled when she looked into the glass, and saw the improvement in her appearance. "I wonder if I'm pretty," thought she. "I almost think I am—in this kind of dress I mean, of course. Betty would say, 'Fine feathers make fine birds.'"
But Mr. Gibson had been thinking about Molly's dress, even though he hadn't mentioned it to her. He had asked his future wife to get her what she needed; soon, a very stylish dressmaker came from the county town to fit her for a dress that was both simple and elegant, instantly enchanting Molly. When it finally arrived, all ready to wear, Molly had a private little fashion show just for the Miss Brownings' benefit; she was almost taken aback when she looked in the mirror and saw how much better she looked. "I wonder if I'm pretty," she thought. "I almost think I am—in this dress, I mean, of course. Betty would say, 'Fine feathers make fine birds.'"
When she went downstairs in her bridal attire, and with shy blushes presented herself for inspection, she was greeted with a burst of admiration.
When she came downstairs in her wedding dress, shyly blushing as she showed herself off, she was met with an outpouring of admiration.
"Well, upon my word! I shouldn't have known you." ("Fine feathers," thought Molly, and checked her rising vanity.)
"Well, I can't believe it! I wouldn't have recognized you." ("Fancy appearances," thought Molly, as she tried to control her growing pride.)
"You are really beautiful—isn't she, sister?" said Miss Phœbe. "Why, my dear, if you were always dressed, you would be prettier than your dear mamma, whom we always reckoned so very personable."
"You are really beautiful—aren't you, sister?" said Miss Phoebe. "Well, my dear, if you were always dressed, you would be prettier than your dear mom, whom we always thought was very attractive."
"You're not a bit like her. You favour your father, and white always sets off a brown complexion."
"You're nothing like her. You take after your dad, and white really makes your darker skin pop."
"But isn't she beautiful?" persevered Miss Phœbe.
"But isn't she beautiful?" insisted Miss Phœbe.
"Well! and if she is, Providence made her, and not she herself. Besides, the dressmaker must go shares. What a fine India muslin it is! it'll have cost a pretty penny!"
"Well! If she is, then Providence made her, not her own doing. Besides, the dressmaker has to get a cut. What a beautiful India muslin it is! It must have cost a pretty penny!"
Mr. Gibson and Molly drove over to Ashcombe, the night before the wedding, in the one yellow post-chaise that Hollingford possessed. They were to be Mr. Preston's, or, rather, my lord's guests at the Manor-house. The Manor-house came up to its name, and delighted Molly at first sight. It was built of stone, had many gables and mullioned windows, and was covered over with Virginian creeper and late-blowing roses. Molly did not know Mr. Preston, who stood in the doorway to greet her father. She took standing with him as a young lady at once, and it was the first time she had met with the kind of behaviour—half complimentary, half flirting—which some men think it necessary to assume with every woman under five-and-twenty. Mr. Preston was very handsome, and knew it. He was a fair man, with light-brown hair and whiskers; grey, roving, well-shaped eyes, with lashes darker than his hair; and a figure rendered easy and supple by the athletic exercises in which his excellence was famous, and which had procured him admission into much higher society than he was otherwise entitled to enter. He was a capital cricketer; was so good a shot, that any house desirous of reputation for its bags on the 12th or the 1st, was glad to have him for a guest. He taught young ladies to play billiards on a wet day, or went in for the game in serious earnest when required. He knew half the private theatrical plays off by heart, and was invaluable in arranging impromptu charades and tableaux. He had his own private reasons for wishing to get up a flirtation with Molly just at this time; he had amused himself so much with the widow when she first came to Ashcombe, that he fancied that the sight of him, standing by her less polished, less handsome, middle-aged husband, might be too much of a contrast to be agreeable. Besides, he had really a strong passion for some one else; some one who would be absent; and that passion it was necessary for him to conceal. So that, altogether, he had resolved, even had "the little Gibson-girl" (as he called her) been less attractive than she was, to devote himself to her for the next sixteen hours.
Mr. Gibson and Molly drove over to Ashcombe the night before the wedding in the only yellow post-chaise that Hollingford had. They were going to be Mr. Preston's, or rather, my lord's guests at the Manor house. The Manor house lived up to its name and impressed Molly from the first sight. It was made of stone, had numerous gables and mullioned windows, and was covered with Virginia creeper and late-blooming roses. Molly didn't know Mr. Preston, who stood in the doorway to greet her father. She interacted with him as if she were a young lady right away, and this was the first time she encountered the behavior—half flattering, half flirtatious—that some men think they need to show every woman under twenty-five. Mr. Preston was very handsome and was aware of it. He was blond with light-brown hair and sideburns; his eyes were gray, wandering, well-shaped, with lashes darker than his hair; and his figure was relaxed and agile due to the sports he excelled in, which had allowed him access to much higher society than he would usually belong to. He was an excellent cricketer and such a skilled shot that any house wanting to boost its reputation for game on the 12th or the 1st was happy to host him. He taught young ladies to play billiards on rainy days or participated seriously in the game when needed. He knew half of the private theatrical plays by heart and was invaluable for organizing impromptu charades and tableaux. He had his own reasons for wanting to flirt with Molly at that moment; he had enjoyed himself a lot with the widow when she first arrived at Ashcombe and thought that the sight of him standing next to her less polished, middle-aged husband might be too much of a contrast to be enjoyable. Moreover, he truly had a strong attraction to someone else—someone who would be absent—and he needed to hide that attraction. So, overall, he had decided, even if "the little Gibson-girl" (as he called her) had been less appealing than she was, to devote himself to her for the next sixteen hours.
They were taken by their host into a wainscoted parlour, where a wood fire crackled and burnt, and the crimson curtains shut out the waning day and the outer chill. Here the table was laid for dinner; snowy table-linen, bright silver, clear sparkling glass, wine and an autumnal dessert on the sideboard. Yet Mr. Preston kept apologizing to Molly for the rudeness of his bachelor home, for the smallness of the room, the great dining-room being already appropriated by his housekeeper, in preparation for the morrow's breakfast. And then he rang for a servant to show Molly to her room. She was taken into a most comfortable chamber; a wood fire on the hearth, candles lighted on the toilette-table, dark woollen curtains surrounding a snow-white bed, great vases of china standing here and there.
They were led by their host into a cozy parlor with wood paneling, where a fire crackled in the fireplace and the crimson curtains blocked out the fading daylight and the chill outside. The table was set for dinner with pristine white tablecloths, shiny silverware, sparkling glassware, wine, and an autumn dessert on the sideboard. Still, Mr. Preston kept apologizing to Molly for the simplicity of his bachelor pad, the small size of the room, explaining that the larger dining room was already being prepared by his housekeeper for tomorrow's breakfast. He then called for a servant to show Molly to her room. She was taken into a very comfortable bedroom; a fire burned in the hearth, candles flickered on the vanity, dark wool curtains surrounded a crisp white bed, and large china vases were placed around the room.
"This is my Lady Harriet's room when her ladyship comes to the Manor-house with my lord the earl," said the housemaid, striking out thousands of brilliant sparks by a well-directed blow at a smouldering log. "Shall I help you to dress, miss? I always helps her ladyship."
"This is Lady Harriet's room when she comes to the manor with Lord the Earl," said the housemaid, sending thousands of brilliant sparks flying with a well-aimed hit on a smoldering log. "Shall I help you get dressed, miss? I always help her ladyship."
Molly, quite aware of the fact that she had but her white muslin gown for the wedding besides that she had on, dismissed the good woman, and was thankful to be left to herself.
Molly, fully aware that she only had her white muslin gown for the wedding besides what she was wearing, sent the good woman away and was grateful to be by herself.
"Dinner" was it called? Why, it was nearly eight o'clock; and preparations for bed seemed a more natural employment than dressing at this hour of night. All the dressing she could manage was the placing of a red damask rose or two in the band of her grey stuff gown, there being a great nosegay of choice autumnal flowers on the toilette-table. She did try the effect of another crimson rose in her black hair, just above her ear; it was very pretty, but too coquettish, and so she put it back again. The dark-oak panels and wainscoting of the whole house seemed to glow in warm light; there were so many fires in different rooms, in the hall, and even one on the landing of the staircase. Mr. Preston must have heard her step, for he met her in the hall, and led her into a small drawing-room, with closed folding-doors on one side, opening into the larger drawing-room, as he told her. This room into which she entered reminded her a little of Hamley—yellow-satin upholstery of seventy or a hundred years ago, all delicately kept and scrupulously clean; great Indian cabinets, and china jars, emitting spicy odours; a large blazing fire, before which her father stood in his morning dress, grave and thoughtful, as he had been all day.
“Dinner,” was that what they called it? It was nearly eight o'clock, and getting ready for bed felt like a more natural thing to do than dressing at this hour. The most she could do was tuck a couple of red damask roses into the band of her gray dress, with a beautiful bouquet of autumn flowers on the vanity. She tried placing another crimson rose in her black hair, just above her ear; it looked lovely, but a bit too flirtatious, so she took it out again. The dark oak panels and wainscoting of the house glowed warmly in the light; there were several fires crackling in different rooms, in the hall, and even one on the landing of the staircase. Mr. Preston must have heard her coming because he greeted her in the hall and took her into a small drawing room, pointing out the closed folding doors on one side that led into the larger drawing room. This room she entered reminded her a bit of Hamley—yellow satin upholstery from seventy or a hundred years ago, all beautifully maintained and spotless; large Indian cabinets and china jars releasing spicy scents; and a big roaring fire, in front of which her father stood in his morning suit, serious and contemplative, just like he had been all day.
"This room is that which Lady Harriet uses when she comes here with her father for a day or two," said Mr. Preston. And Molly tried to save her father by being ready to talk herself.
"This room is the one Lady Harriet uses when she visits with her father for a day or two," said Mr. Preston. And Molly tried to help her father by being prepared to talk herself.
"Does she often come here?"
"Does she come here often?"
"Not often. But I fancy she likes being here when she does. Perhaps she finds it an agreeable change after the more formal life she leads at the Towers."
"Not often. But I think she enjoys being here when she does. Maybe she finds it a nice change after the more formal life she has at the Towers."
"I should think it was a very pleasant house to stay at," said Molly, remembering the look of warm comfort that pervaded it. But a little to her dismay Mr. Preston seemed to take it as a compliment to himself.
"I think it was a really nice house to stay in," said Molly, recalling the warm and cozy atmosphere that filled it. But to her disappointment, Mr. Preston seemed to interpret it as a compliment directed at him.
"I was afraid a young lady like you might perceive all the incongruities of a bachelor's home. I'm very much obliged to you, Miss Gibson. In general I live pretty much in the room in which we shall dine; and I've a sort of agent's office in which I keep books and papers, and receive callers on business."
"I was worried that a young lady like you might notice all the inconsistencies of a bachelor’s home. I’m really grateful to you, Miss Gibson. Usually, I spend most of my time in the room where we’ll have dinner; and I have a kind of office where I keep books and papers, and meet with visitors for business."
Then they went in to dinner. Molly thought everything that was served was delicious, and cooked to the point of perfection; but they did not seem to satisfy Mr. Preston, who apologized to his guests several times for the bad cooking of this dish, or the omission of a particular sauce to that; always referring to bachelor's housekeeping, bachelor's this and bachelor's that, till Molly grew quite impatient at the word. Her father's depression, which was still continuing and rendering him very silent, made her uneasy; yet she wished to conceal it from Mr. Preston; and so she talked away, trying to obviate the sort of personal bearing which their host would give to everything. She did not know when to leave the gentlemen, but her father made a sign to her; and she was conducted back to the yellow drawing-room by Mr. Preston, who made many apologies for leaving her there alone. She enjoyed herself extremely, however, feeling at liberty to prowl about, and examine all the curiosities the room contained. Among other things was a Louis Quinze cabinet with lovely miniatures in enamel let into the fine woodwork. She carried a candle to it, and was looking intently at these faces when her father and Mr. Preston came in. Her father still looked care-worn and anxious; he came up and patted her on the back, looked at what she was looking at, and then went off to silence and the fire. Mr. Preston took the candle out of her hand, and threw himself into her interests with an air of ready gallantry.
Then they went to dinner. Molly thought everything served was delicious and perfectly cooked; however, Mr. Preston didn't seem satisfied, apologizing to his guests multiple times for the bad cooking of this dish or the missing sauce for that one. He kept mentioning bachelor housekeeping, bachelor's this, and bachelor's that, until Molly grew impatient with the word. Her father's ongoing depression, which had made him very quiet, made her uneasy; still, she wanted to hide it from Mr. Preston, so she kept talking, trying to shift the focus away from their host's personal remarks. She wasn't sure when to leave the gentlemen, but her father signaled to her; Mr. Preston escorted her back to the yellow drawing-room, making several apologies for leaving her there alone. However, she enjoyed herself, feeling free to wander and examine all the curiosities the room held. Among other things, there was a Louis Quinze cabinet with beautiful miniatures in enamel set into the fine woodwork. She brought a candle closer and was intently studying the faces when her father and Mr. Preston walked in. Her father still looked worried and anxious; he approached her, patted her on the back, glanced at what she was looking at, then went off to sit quietly by the fire. Mr. Preston took the candle from her hand and engaged with her interests enthusiastically.
"That is said to be Mademoiselle de St. Quentin, a great beauty at the French Court. This is Madame du Barri. Do you see any likeness in Mademoiselle de St. Quentin to any one you know?" He had lowered his voice a little as he asked this question.
"That's supposed to be Mademoiselle de St. Quentin, a real beauty at the French Court. This is Madame du Barri. Do you see any resemblance between Mademoiselle de St. Quentin and anyone you know?" He had lowered his voice a bit as he asked this question.
"No!" said Molly, looking at it again. "I never saw any one half so beautiful."
"No!" Molly said, looking at it again. "I've never seen anyone as beautiful as this."
"But don't you see a likeness—in the eyes particularly?" he asked again, with some impatience.
"But don't you see a similarity—in the eyes especially?" he asked again, a bit impatiently.
Molly tried hard to find out a resemblance, and was again unsuccessful.
Molly worked hard to see a resemblance, but once again, she didn’t succeed.
"It constantly reminds me of—of Miss Kirkpatrick."
"It constantly reminds me of Miss Kirkpatrick."
"Does it?" said Molly, eagerly. "Oh! I am so glad—I've never seen her, so of course I couldn't find out the likeness. You know her, then, do you? Please tell me all about her."
"Does it?" Molly asked eagerly. "Oh! I'm so glad—I've never seen her, so I couldn't find out how she looks. You know her, right? Please tell me everything about her."
He hesitated a moment before speaking. He smiled a little before replying.
He paused for a moment before speaking. He smiled slightly before responding.
"She's very beautiful; that of course is understood when I say that this miniature does not come up to her for beauty."
"She's really beautiful; that's obvious when I say that this miniature doesn't compare to her beauty."
"And besides?—Go on, please."
"And besides?—Please continue."
"What do you mean by 'besides'?"
"What do you mean by 'besides'?"
"Oh! I suppose she's very clever and accomplished?"
"Oh! I guess she’s really smart and talented?"
That was not in the least what Molly wanted to ask; but it was difficult to word the vague vastness of her unspoken inquiry.
That wasn’t at all what Molly wanted to ask; but it was hard to express the unclear enormity of her unspoken question.
"She is clever naturally; she has picked up accomplishments. But she has such a charm about her, one forgets what she herself is in the halo that surrounds her. You ask me all this, Miss Gibson, and I answer truthfully; or else I should not entertain one young lady with my enthusiastic praises of another."
"She's naturally smart and has learned a lot of skills. But she has such a charm that you forget who she really is in the glow that she gives off. You ask me all this, Miss Gibson, and I answer honestly; otherwise, I wouldn't be here giving my enthusiastic compliments about one young lady to another."
"I don't see why not," said Molly. "Besides, if you wouldn't do it in general, I think you ought to do it in my case; for you, perhaps, don't know, but she is coming to live with us when she leaves school, and we are very nearly the same age; so it will be almost like having a sister."
"I don't see why not," Molly said. "Besides, if you wouldn't do it in general, I think you should do it for me; because, maybe you don't know, but she's moving in with us when she finishes school, and we're pretty much the same age, so it will feel almost like having a sister."
"She is to live with you, is she?" said Mr. Preston, to whom this intelligence was news. "And when is she to leave school? I thought she would surely have been at this wedding; but I was told she was not to come. When is she to leave school?"
"She's going to live with you, right?" said Mr. Preston, surprised by the news. "When is she finishing school? I really thought she would be at this wedding, but I heard she wasn’t coming. When is she leaving school?"
"I think it is to be at Easter. You know she's at Boulogne, and it's a long journey for her to come alone; or else papa wished for her to be at the marriage very much indeed."
"I think it's going to be at Easter. You know she's in Boulogne, and it's a long trip for her to make by herself; or maybe Dad really wanted her to be at the wedding."
"And her mother prevented it?—I understand."
"And her mom stopped it?—Got it."
"No, it wasn't her mother; it was the French schoolmistress, who didn't think it desirable."
"No, it wasn't her mom; it was the French teacher, who didn't think it was a good idea."
"It comes to pretty much the same thing. And she's to return and live with you after Easter?"
"It amounts to basically the same thing. And she's going to come back and live with you after Easter?"
"I believe so. Is she a grave or a merry person?"
"I think so. Is she serious or cheerful?"
"Never very grave, as far as I have seen of her. Sparkling would be the word for her, I think. Do you ever write to her? If you do, pray remember me to her, and tell her how we have been talking about her—you and I."
"She's never really serious, at least from what I've seen. I would say she's sparkling. Do you ever write to her? If you do, please send her my regards and let her know how we've been talking about her—you and I."
"I never write to her," said Molly, rather shortly.
"I never write to her," Molly said, somewhat curtly.
Tea came in; and after that they all went to bed. Molly heard her father exclaim at the fire in his bedroom, and Mr. Preston's reply—
Tea was served, and then everyone went to bed. Molly heard her father exclaiming at the fire in his bedroom, and Mr. Preston's reply—
"I pique myself on my keen relish for all creature comforts, and also on my power of doing without them, if need be. My lord's woods are ample, and I indulge myself with a fire in my bedroom for nine months in the year; yet I could travel in Iceland without wincing from the cold."
"I take pride in my strong appreciation for all creature comforts, and also in my ability to get by without them if necessary. My lord's woods are plentiful, and I enjoy having a fire in my bedroom for nine months of the year; still, I could travel in Iceland without flinching from the cold."
CHAPTER XIV.
MOLLY FINDS HERSELF PATRONIZED.
The wedding went off much as such affairs do. Lord Cumnor and Lady Harriet drove over from the Towers, so the hour for the ceremony was as late as possible. Lord Cumnor came in order to officiate as the bride's father, and was in more open glee than either bride or bridegroom, or any one else. Lady Harriet came as a sort of amateur bridesmaid, to "share Molly's duties," as she called it. They went from the Manor-house in two carriages to the church in the park, Mr. Preston and Mr. Gibson in one, and Molly, to her dismay, shut up with Lord Cumnor and Lady Harriet in the other. Lady Harriet's gown of white muslin had seen one or two garden-parties, and was not in the freshest order; it had been rather a freak of the young lady's at the last moment. She was very merry, and very much inclined to talk to Molly, by way of finding out what sort of a little personage Clare was to have for her future daughter. She began:—
The wedding went just like most weddings do. Lord Cumnor and Lady Harriet drove over from the Towers, so the ceremony was scheduled as late as possible. Lord Cumnor attended to officiate as the bride's father and was more openly cheerful than either the bride or groom, or anyone else. Lady Harriet came as a sort of unofficial bridesmaid, to "help Molly with her duties," as she put it. They left the Manor house in two carriages for the church in the park, with Mr. Preston and Mr. Gibson in one, and Molly, to her dismay, stuck in the other with Lord Cumnor and Lady Harriet. Lady Harriet's white muslin dress had seen a few garden parties and wasn’t in the best shape; she had picked it at the last minute. She was quite cheerful and very chatty with Molly, trying to get a sense of what kind of little person Clare would have as her future daughter. She started:—
"We mustn't crush this pretty muslin dress of yours. Put it over papa's knee; he doesn't mind it in the least."
"We shouldn't ruin this beautiful muslin dress of yours. Lay it over dad's knee; he won't mind at all."
"What, my dear, a white dress!—no, to be sure not. I rather like it. Besides, going to a wedding, who minds anything? It would be different if we were going to a funeral."
"What, my dear, a white dress!—no, definitely not. I actually like it. Besides, when you're going to a wedding, who cares about anything? It would be a different story if we were going to a funeral."
Molly conscientiously strove to find out the meaning of this speech; but before she had done so, Lady Harriet spoke again, going to the point, as she always piqued herself on doing:
Molly carefully worked to understand the meaning of this speech; but before she could figure it out, Lady Harriet spoke again, getting straight to the point, as she always prided herself on doing:
"I daresay it's something of a trial to you, this second marriage of your father's; but you'll find Clare the most amiable of women. She always let me have my own way, and I've no doubt she'll let you have yours."
"I bet this second marriage of your dad's is a bit challenging for you, but you’ll see that Clare is the nicest woman. She always let me do things my way, and I’m sure she’ll let you do the same."
"I mean to try and like her," said Molly, in a low voice, striving hard to keep down the tears that would keep rising to her eyes this morning. "I've seen very little of her yet."
"I really want to try and like her," said Molly, in a quiet voice, working hard to hold back the tears that kept welling up in her eyes this morning. "I haven't spent much time with her yet."
"Why, it's the very best thing for you that could have happened, my dear," said Lord Cumnor. "You're growing up into a young lady—and a very pretty young lady, too, if you'll allow an old man to say so—and who so proper as your father's wife to bring you out, and show you off, and take you to balls, and that kind of thing? I always said this match that is going to come off to-day was the most suitable thing I ever knew; and it's even a better thing for you than for the people themselves."
"Honestly, this is the best thing that could have happened to you, my dear," Lord Cumnor said. "You're becoming a young lady—and a very lovely one, too, if an old man can say that—and who better than your father's wife to introduce you, show you off, and take you to parties and all that? I've always believed that this match happening today is the best fit I've ever seen; and it's even better for you than for the people involved."
"Poor child!" said Lady Harriet, who had caught a sight of Molly's troubled face, "the thought of balls is too much for her just now; but you'll like having Cynthia Kirkpatrick for a companion, shan't you, dear?"
"Poor thing!" said Lady Harriet, noticing Molly's worried expression, "the idea of balls is way too much for her right now; but you'll enjoy having Cynthia Kirkpatrick as a friend, won't you, dear?"
"Very much," said Molly, cheering up a little. "Do you know her?"
"Definitely," said Molly, feeling a bit better. "Do you know her?"
"Oh, I've seen her over and over again when she was a little girl, and once or twice since. She's the prettiest creature that you ever saw; and with eyes that mean mischief, if I'm not mistaken. But Clare kept her spirit under pretty well when she was staying with us,—afraid of her being troublesome, I fancy."
"Oh, I've seen her many times when she was a little girl, and a couple of times since then. She's the prettiest girl you've ever seen, and her eyes seem to hint at trouble, if I'm right. But Clare managed to keep her in check pretty well when she was with us—probably worried about her causing a stir, I guess."
Before Molly could shape her next question, they were at the church; and she and Lady Harriet went into a pew near the door to wait for the bride, in whose train they were to proceed to the altar. The earl drove on alone to fetch her from her own house, not a quarter of a mile distant. It was pleasant to her to be led to the hymeneal altar by a belted earl, and pleasant to have his daughter as a volunteer bridesmaid. Mrs. Kirkpatrick in this flush of small gratifications, and on the brink of matrimony with a man whom she liked, and who would be bound to support her without any exertion of her own, looked beamingly happy and handsome. A little cloud came over her face at the sight of Mr. Preston,—the sweet perpetuity of her smile was rather disturbed as he followed in Mr. Gibson's wake. But his face never changed; he bowed to her gravely, and then seemed absorbed in the service. Ten minutes, and all was over. The bride and bridegroom were driving together to the Manor-house, Mr. Preston was walking thither by a short cut, and Molly was again in the carriage with my lord, rubbing his hands and chuckling, and Lady Harriet, trying to be kind and consolatory, when her silence would have been the best comfort.
Before Molly could ask her next question, they arrived at the church. She and Lady Harriet took a seat in a pew near the door to wait for the bride, whom they were to accompany to the altar. The earl drove on alone to pick her up from her house, which wasn’t even a quarter of a mile away. It was nice for her to be led to the altar by a prominent earl, and even nicer to have his daughter step in as a bridesmaid. Mrs. Kirkpatrick, basking in these small joys and on the verge of marrying a man she liked—who would take care of her without her having to lift a finger—looked genuinely happy and attractive. A slight frown crossed her face when she saw Mr. Preston; her radiant smile was somewhat dampened as he followed Mr. Gibson. But he remained unchanged; he greeted her with a serious bow before seemingly losing himself in the service. Ten minutes later, it was all over. The bride and groom drove together to the Manor-house, Mr. Preston took a shortcut there, and Molly found herself back in the carriage with the earl, who was rubbing his hands and chuckling. Lady Harriet was trying to be kind and comforting, even though her silence would have been more reassuring.
Molly found out, to her dismay, that the plan was for her to return with Lord Cumnor and Lady Harriet when they went back to the Towers in the evening. In the meantime Lord Cumnor had business to do with Mr. Preston, and after the happy couple had driven off on their week's holiday tour, she was to be left alone with the formidable Lady Harriet. When they were by themselves after all the others had been thus disposed of, Lady Harriet sate still over the drawing-room fire, holding a screen between it and her face, but gazing intently at Molly for a minute or two. Molly was fully conscious of this prolonged look, and was trying to get up her courage to return the stare, when Lady Harriet suddenly said,—
Molly discovered, to her disappointment, that she was supposed to return with Lord Cumnor and Lady Harriet when they went back to the Towers in the evening. In the meantime, Lord Cumnor had some business to attend to with Mr. Preston, and after the happy couple left for their week's vacation, she would be left alone with the intimidating Lady Harriet. Once they were alone, after everyone else had been taken care of, Lady Harriet sat quietly by the drawing-room fire, holding a screen between it and her face, but staring intently at Molly for a minute or two. Molly was acutely aware of this lingering gaze and was trying to muster the courage to return the stare when Lady Harriet suddenly said,—
"I like you;—you are a little wild creature, and I want to tame you. Come here, and sit on this stool by me. What is your name? or what do they call you?—as North-country people would express it."
"I like you; you’re a bit of a wild thing, and I want to tame you. Come here and sit on this stool next to me. What’s your name? Or what do people call you?—as folks from the North would say."
"Molly Gibson. My real name is Mary."
"Molly Gibson. My actual name is Mary."
"Molly is a nice, soft-sounding name. People in the last century weren't afraid of homely names; now we are all so smart and fine: no more 'Lady Bettys' now. I almost wonder they haven't re-christened all the worsted and knitting-cotton that bears her name. Fancy Lady Constantia's cotton, or Lady Anna-Maria's worsted."
"Molly is a nice, gentle-sounding name. People in the last century weren't afraid of plain names; now we all want to sound smart and sophisticated: no more 'Lady Bettys' anymore. I almost wonder why they haven't renamed all the wool and knitting yarn that carries her name. Imagine Fancy Lady Constantia's yarn, or Lady Anna-Maria's wool."
"I didn't know there was a Lady Betty's cotton," said Molly.
"I had no idea there was a Lady Betty's cotton," said Molly.
"That proves you don't do fancy-work! You'll find Clare will set you to it, though. She used to set me at piece after piece: knights kneeling to ladies; impossible flowers. But I must do her the justice to add that when I got tired of them she finished them herself. I wonder how you'll get on together?"
"That proves you don't do fancy work! You'll see Clare will get you to do it, though. She used to have me working on project after project: knights kneeling to ladies; impossible flowers. But I have to give her credit—when I got tired of them, she finished them herself. I wonder how you two will get along?"
"So do I!" sighed out Molly, under her breath.
"So do I!" Molly sighed quietly.
"I used to think I managed her, till one day an uncomfortable suspicion arose that all the time she had been managing me. Still it's easy work to let oneself be managed; at any rate till one wakens up to the consciousness of the process, and then it may become amusing, if one takes it in that light."
"I used to think I was in control of her, but one day I got an unsettling feeling that she had actually been in control of me all along. Still, it’s pretty easy to let someone else take charge; at least until you realize what’s happening, and then it can become entertaining if you look at it that way."
"I should hate to be managed," said Molly, indignantly. "I'll try and do what she wishes for papa's sake, if she'll only tell me outright; but I should dislike to be trapped into anything."
"I would hate to be controlled," Molly said, indignantly. "I'll try to do what she wants for my dad's sake if she'll just be straightforward with me; but I would really dislike being tricked into anything."
"Now I," said Lady Harriet, "am too lazy to avoid traps; and I rather like to remark the cleverness with which they're set. But then, of course, I know that if I choose to exert myself, I can break through the withes of green flax with which they try to bind me. Now, perhaps, you won't be able."
"Now I," said Lady Harriet, "am too lazy to dodge traps; and I actually enjoy noticing the cleverness behind how they're set. But, of course, I know that if I choose to put in some effort, I can break through the green flax ropes they use to try to bind me. Now, maybe you won't be able to."
"I don't quite understand what you mean," said Molly.
"I don't really get what you mean," said Molly.
"Oh, well—never mind; I daresay it's as well for you that you shouldn't. The moral of all I have been saying is, 'Be a good girl, and suffer yourself to be led, and you'll find your new stepmother the sweetest creature imaginable.' You'll get on capitally with her, I make no doubt. How you'll get on with her daughter is another affair; but I daresay very well. Now we'll ring for tea; for I suppose that heavy breakfast is to stand for our lunch."
"Oh, well—never mind; I guess it’s probably for the best that you don’t. The point of everything I’ve been saying is, ‘Be a good girl, let yourself be guided, and you’ll find your new stepmother to be the sweetest person you can imagine.’ You’ll get along great with her, I’m sure. How you’ll get along with her daughter is another story; but I think it’ll be just fine. Now let’s ring for tea; I assume that big breakfast is standing in for our lunch."
Mr. Preston came into the room just at this time, and Molly was a little surprised at Lady Harriet's cool manner of dismissing him, remembering as she did how Mr. Preston had implied his intimacy with her ladyship the evening before at dinner-time.
Mr. Preston walked into the room right then, and Molly was a bit taken aback by Lady Harriet's indifferent way of sending him off, considering how Mr. Preston had hinted at his closeness to her the night before at dinner.
"I cannot bear that sort of person," said Lady Harriet, almost before he was out of hearing; "giving himself airs of gallantry towards one to whom his simple respect is all his duty. I can talk to one of my father's labourers with pleasure, while with a man like that underbred fop I am all over thorns and nettles. What is it the Irish call that style of creature? They've some capital word for it, I know. What is it?"
"I can't stand that kind of person," said Lady Harriet, almost before he was out of earshot; "acting all charming towards someone when simple respect is all that’s required of him. I can talk to one of my father's workers easily, but with a guy like that pretentious fool, I feel completely uncomfortable. What do the Irish call that type of person? They have a great word for it, I know. What is it?"
"I don't know—I never heard it," said Molly, a little ashamed of her ignorance.
"I don't know—I never heard of it," said Molly, feeling a bit embarrassed about her lack of knowledge.
"Oh! that shows you've never read Miss Edgeworth's tales;—now, have you? If you had, you'd have recollected that there was such a word, even if you didn't remember what it was. If you've never read those stories, they would be just the thing to beguile your solitude—vastly improving and moral, and yet quite sufficiently interesting. I'll lend them to you while you're all alone."
"Oh! That shows you've never read Miss Edgeworth's stories, have you? If you had, you'd have remembered there was such a word, even if you couldn't recall what it was. If you haven't read those stories, they'd be perfect to keep you company—very enriching and moral, yet still quite interesting. I'll lend them to you while you're by yourself."
"I'm not alone. I'm not at home, but on a visit to Miss Brownings."
"I'm not alone. I'm not at home; I'm visiting Miss Brownings."
"Then I'll bring them to you. I know the Miss Brownings; they used to come regularly on the school-day to the Towers. Pecksy and Flapsy I used to call them. I like the Miss Brownings; one gets enough of respect from them at any rate; and I've always wanted to see the kind of ménage of such people. I'll bring you a whole pile of Miss Edgeworth's stories, my dear."
"Then I'll bring them to you. I know the Miss Brownings; they used to come regularly on school days to the Towers. I used to call them Pecksy and Flapsy. I like the Miss Brownings; at least they give you respect, and I've always been curious about the lives of people like them. I'll bring you a whole stack of Miss Edgeworth's stories, my dear."
Molly sate quite silent for a minute or two; then she mustered up courage to speak out what was in her mind.
Molly sat in silence for a minute or two; then she gathered the courage to express what was on her mind.
"Your ladyship" (the title was the firstfruits of the lesson, as Molly took it, on paying due respect)—"your ladyship keeps speaking of the sort of—the class of people to which I belong as if it was a kind of strange animal you were talking about; yet you talk so openly to me that—"
"Your ladyship" (the title was the first sign of respect, as Molly interpreted it)—"your ladyship keeps referring to the kind of people I belong to as if we were some sort of strange animal; yet you talk so openly to me that—
"Well, go on—I like to hear you."
"Go on—I love hearing you."
Still silence.
Quiet stillness.
"You think me in your heart a little impertinent—now, don't you?" said Lady Harriet, almost kindly.
"You think I'm a bit rude in your heart—don't you?" said Lady Harriet, almost kindly.
Molly held her peace for two or three moments; then she lifted her beautiful, honest eyes to Lady Harriet's face, and said,—
Molly stayed quiet for a couple of moments; then she looked up with her beautiful, sincere eyes into Lady Harriet's face, and said,—
"Yes!—a little. But I think you a great many other things."
"Yeah!—a little. But I think you’re a lot of other things."
"We'll leave the 'other things' for the present. Don't you see, little one, I talk after my kind, just as you talk after your kind. It's only on the surface with both of us. Why, I daresay some of your good Hollingford ladies talk of the poor people in a manner which they would consider as impertinent in their turn, if they could hear it. But I ought to be more considerate when I remember how often my blood has boiled at the modes of speech and behaviour of one of my aunts, mamma's sister, Lady— No! I won't name names. Any one who earns his livelihood by any exercise of head or hands, from professional people and rich merchants down to labourers, she calls 'persons.' She would never in her most slip-slop talk accord them even the conventional title of 'gentlemen;' and the way in which she takes possession of human beings, 'my woman,' 'my people,'—but, after all, it is only a way of speaking. I ought not to have used it to you; but somehow I separate you from all these Hollingford people."
"We'll set aside the 'other things' for now. Don’t you see, little one, I speak in my own way, just like you speak in yours. It’s only on the surface for both of us. Honestly, some of your well-to-do ladies in Hollingford talk about the poor folks in a way they’d find rude if they could hear it. But I should be more mindful, remembering how often I've felt furious at the way one of my aunts, mom's sister, talks—Lady— No! I won't say her name. Anyone who makes a living through their skills or labor, from professionals and wealthy merchants down to workers, she calls 'persons.' She would never, even in her most casual conversation, refer to them as 'gentlemen;' and the way she claims ownership of people, saying 'my woman,' 'my people'—but, really, it’s just a manner of speaking. I shouldn’t have used it with you; but somehow, I see you as different from all those Hollingford people."
"But why?" persevered Molly. "I'm one of them."
"But why?" Molly insisted. "I'm one of them."
"Yes, you are. But—now don't reprove me again for impertinence—most of them are so unnatural in their exaggerated respect and admiration when they come up to the Towers, and put on so much pretence by way of fine manners, that they only make themselves objects of ridicule. You at least are simple and truthful, and that's why I separate you in my own mind from them, and have talked unconsciously to you as I would—well! now here's another piece of impertinence—as I would to my equal—in rank, I mean; for I don't set myself up in solid things as any better than my neighbours. Here's tea, however, come in time to stop me from growing too humble."
"Yes, you are. But—don’t scold me for being rude again—most of them are so fake in their exaggerated respect and admiration when they visit the Towers, and they show off so much with their so-called good manners that they just make themselves look ridiculous. At least you’re genuine and honest, and that’s why I see you differently from them and have spoken to you without thinking, as I would—well! here’s another bit of rudeness—as I would to my equal—in status, I mean; because I don’t think I’m better than my neighbors in any real way. But here’s some tea, just in time to keep me from getting too humble."
It was a very pleasant little tea in the fading September twilight.
It was a very nice little tea in the waning September twilight.
Just as it was ended, in came Mr. Preston again:—
Just as it was wrapping up, Mr. Preston came in again:—
"Lady Harriet, will you allow me the pleasure of showing you some alterations I have made in the flower-garden—in which I have tried to consult your taste—before it grows dark?"
"Lady Harriet, would you let me take the pleasure of showing you some changes I've made in the flower garden—which I tried to tailor to your taste—before it gets dark?"
"Thank you, Mr. Preston. I will ride over with papa some day, and we will see if we approve of them."
"Thanks, Mr. Preston. I’ll ride over with Dad one day, and we’ll see if we like them."
Mr. Preston's brow flushed. But he affected not to perceive Lady Harriet's haughtiness, and, turning to Molly, he said,—
Mr. Preston's brow flushed. But he pretended not to notice Lady Harriet's arrogance and, turning to Molly, he said,—
"Will not you come out, Miss Gibson, and see something of the gardens? You haven't been out at all, I think, excepting to church."
"Won't you come out, Miss Gibson, and check out the gardens? I don't think you've been outside at all, except for church."
Molly did not like the idea of going out for a walk with only Mr. Preston; yet she pined for a little fresh air, would have been glad to see the gardens, and look at the Manor-house from different aspects; and, besides this, much as she recoiled from Mr. Preston, she felt sorry for him under the repulse he had just received.
Molly wasn’t keen on the idea of going out for a walk with just Mr. Preston; however, she longed for some fresh air, would have been happy to see the gardens, and view the Manor-house from different angles. Plus, even though she was put off by Mr. Preston, she felt sympathy for him after the rejection he had just faced.
While she was hesitating, and slowly tending towards consent, Lady Harriet spoke,—
While she was hesitating and gradually leaning towards agreeing, Lady Harriet spoke, —
"I cannot spare Miss Gibson. If she would like to see the place, I will bring her over some day myself."
"I can't let Miss Gibson go. If she wants to check out the place, I'll take her myself one day."
When he had left the room, Lady Harriet said,—"I daresay it's my own lazy selfishness has kept you indoors all day against your will. But, at any rate, you are not to go out walking with that man. I've an instinctive aversion to him; not entirely instinctive either; it has some foundation in fact; and I desire you don't allow him ever to get intimate with you. He's a very clever land-agent, and does his duty by papa, and I don't choose to be taken up for libel; but remember what I say!"
When he left the room, Lady Harriet said, "I guess my own lazy selfishness has kept you indoors all day against your will. But, anyway, you’re not going out for a walk with that guy. I have an instinctive dislike for him; it’s not just instinctive either; there’s some truth to it, and I want you to make sure he never gets too close to you. He’s a really smart land agent and does his job well for Dad, and I don’t want to get accused of libel; but remember what I’m saying!"
Then the carriage came round, and after numberless last words from the earl—who appeared to have put off every possible direction to the moment when he stood, like an awkward Mercury, balancing himself on the step of the carriage—they drove back to the Towers.
Then the carriage showed up, and after countless last words from the earl—who seemed to have postponed every possible instruction until he was, like an awkward Mercury, balancing himself on the step of the carriage—they drove back to the Towers.
"Would you rather come in and dine with us—we should send you home, of course—or go home straight?" asked Lady Harriet of Molly. She and her father had both been sleeping till they drew up at the bottom of the flight of steps.
"Would you rather come in and eat with us—we'll send you home, of course—or go straight home?" Lady Harriet asked Molly. She and her father had both been napping until they reached the bottom of the flight of steps.
"Tell the truth, now and evermore. Truth is generally amusing, if it's nothing else!"
"Always tell the truth, now and forever. Truth is usually entertaining, if nothing else!"
"I would rather go back to Miss Brownings' at once, please," said Molly, with a nightmare-like recollection of the last, the only evening she had spent at the Towers.
"I'd rather go back to Miss Browning's right now, please," said Molly, with a haunting memory of the last, the only evening she had spent at the Towers.
Lord Cumnor was standing on the steps, waiting to hand his daughter out of the carriage. Lady Harriet stopped to kiss Molly on the forehead, and to say,—
Lord Cumnor was standing on the steps, waiting to help his daughter out of the carriage. Lady Harriet paused to kiss Molly on the forehead and to tell,—
"I shall come some day soon, and bring you a load of Miss Edgeworth's tales, and make further acquaintance with Pecksy and Flapsy."
"I'll come by soon and bring you a bunch of Miss Edgeworth's stories, and get to know Pecksy and Flapsy better."
"No, don't, please," said Molly, taking hold of her, to detain her. "You must not come—indeed you must not."
"No, please don't," said Molly, grabbing her to stop her. "You can't go—really, you can't."
"Why not?"
"Why not?"
"Because I would rather not—because I think that I ought not to have any one coming to see me who laughs at the friends I am staying with, and calls them names." Molly's heart beat very fast, but she meant every word that she said.
"Because I'd prefer not to—because I believe I shouldn't have anyone visiting me who mocks the friends I'm staying with and badmouths them." Molly's heart raced, but she meant every word she said.
"My dear little woman!" said Lady Harriet, bending over her and speaking quite gravely. "I'm very sorry to have called them names—very, very sorry to have hurt you. If I promise you to be respectful to them in word and in deed—and in very thought, if I can—you'll let me then, won't you?"
"My dear little woman!" said Lady Harriet, leaning over her and speaking very seriously. "I'm really sorry for calling them names—truly, I'm very sorry for hurting you. If I promise to treat them with respect in my words and actions—and in my thoughts, if I can—then you'll let me do that, right?"
Molly hesitated. "I'd better go home at once; I shall only say wrong things—and there's Lord Cumnor waiting all this time."
Molly hesitated. "I should head home right away; I’ll only say the wrong things—and Lord Cumnor has been waiting this whole time."
"Let him alone; he's very well amused hearing all the news of the day from Brown. Then I shall come—under promise?"
"Just leave him be; he’s really enjoying catching up on all the day’s news from Brown. Then I’ll come—if I promise?"
So Molly drove off in solitary grandeur; and Miss Brownings' knocker was loosened on its venerable hinges by the never-ending peal of Lord Cumnor's footman.
So Molly drove off in her own stylish way; and Miss Browning's knocker was loosened on its old hinges by the continuous ringing of Lord Cumnor's footman.
They were full of welcome, full of curiosity. All through the long day they had been missing their bright young visitor, and three or four times in every hour they had been wondering and settling what everybody was doing at that exact minute. What had become of Molly during all the afternoon, had been a great perplexity to them; and they were very much oppressed with a sense of the great honour she had received in being allowed to spend so many hours alone with Lady Harriet. They were, indeed, more excited by this one fact than by all the details of the wedding, most of which they had known of beforehand, and talked over with much perseverance during the day. Molly began to feel as if there was some foundation for Lady Harriet's inclination to ridicule the worship paid by the good people of Hollingford to their liege lord, and to wonder with what tokens of reverence they would receive Lady Harriet if she came to pay her promised visit. She had never thought of concealing the probability of this call until this evening; but now she felt as if it would be better not to speak of the chance, as she was not at all sure that the promise would be fulfilled.
They were welcoming and curious. All day long, they had missed their bright young visitor, and three or four times every hour, they had wondered what everyone was doing at that moment. They were really puzzled about what had happened to Molly that afternoon, and they felt a heavy sense of the great honor she had in being allowed to spend so many hours alone with Lady Harriet. In fact, they were more excited about this one fact than about all the details of the wedding, most of which they had already heard about and discussed at length throughout the day. Molly started to feel that there might be some truth to Lady Harriet's tendency to poke fun at how the good people of Hollingford idolized their local lord and wondered how they would show respect to Lady Harriet if she came for her promised visit. She had never considered keeping the possibility of this visit a secret until that evening; but now she thought it might be better not to mention it, as she wasn’t sure if the promise would actually happen.
Before Lady Harriet's call was paid, Molly received another visit.
Before Lady Harriet's visit, Molly received another guest.
Roger Hamley came riding over one day with a note from his mother, and a wasps'-nest as a present from himself. Molly heard his powerful voice come sounding up the little staircase, as he asked if Miss Gibson was at home from the servant-maid at the door; and she was half amused and half annoyed as she thought how this call of his would give colour to Miss Browning's fancies. "I would rather never be married at all," thought she, "than marry an ugly man,—and dear good Mr. Roger is really ugly; I don't think one could even call him plain." Yet Miss Brownings, who did not look upon young men as if their natural costume was a helmet and a suit of armour, thought Mr. Roger Hamley a very personable young fellow, as he came into the room, his face flushed with exercise, his white teeth showing pleasantly in the courteous bow and smile he gave to all around. He knew the Miss Brownings slightly, and talked pleasantly to them while Molly read Mrs. Hamley's little missive of sympathy and good wishes relating to the wedding; then he turned to her, and though Miss Brownings listened with all their ears, they could not find out anything remarkable either in the words he said or the tone in which they were spoken.
Roger Hamley rode over one day with a note from his mom and brought a wasps' nest as a gift for himself. Molly heard his strong voice echoing up the small staircase as he asked the maid at the door if Miss Gibson was home; she felt a mix of amusement and annoyance thinking about how his visit would feed Miss Browning's fantasies. "I’d rather never get married at all," she thought, "than marry an ugly man—and dear Mr. Roger really is ugly; I don’t think you could even call him plain." However, the Miss Brownings, who didn’t see young men as if they were just wearing helmets and armor, thought Mr. Roger Hamley was quite charming as he walked into the room, his face flushed from riding, his white teeth showing pleasantly as he bowed and smiled at everyone. He knew the Miss Brownings a little and chatted pleasantly with them while Molly read Mrs. Hamley’s short note of sympathy and good wishes about the wedding; then he turned to her, and although the Miss Brownings were all ears, they couldn’t find anything significant in either what he said or the way he said it.
"I've brought you the wasps'-nest I promised you, Miss Gibson. There has been no lack of such things this year; we've taken seventy-four on my father's land alone; and one of the labourers, a poor fellow who ekes out his wages by bee-keeping, has had a sad misfortune—the wasps have turned the bees out of his seven hives, taken possession, and eaten up the honey."
"I've brought you the wasps' nest I promised, Miss Gibson. There have been plenty of them this year; we've collected seventy-four on my father's land alone. One of the workers, a poor guy who makes some extra money from beekeeping, has had a tough time—the wasps drove the bees out of his seven hives, took over, and ate all the honey."
"What greedy little vermin!" said Miss Browning.
"What greedy little pests!" said Miss Browning.
Molly saw Roger's eyes twinkle at the misapplication of the word; but though he had a strong sense of humour, it never appeared to diminish his respect for the people who amused him.
Molly noticed a sparkle in Roger's eyes at the misuse of the word; but even though he had a great sense of humor, it never seemed to lessen his respect for the people who entertained him.
"I'm sure they deserve fire and brimstone more than the poor dear innocent bees," said Miss Phœbe. "And then it seems so ungrateful of mankind, who are going to feast on the honey!" She sighed over the thought, as if it was too much for her.
"I'm sure they deserve a lot worse than the poor innocent bees," said Miss Phœbe. "And then it seems so ungrateful of people, who are going to feast on the honey!" She sighed at the thought, as if it was too much for her.
While Molly finished reading her note, he explained its contents to Miss Browning.
While Molly finished reading her note, he explained what it said to Miss Browning.
"My brother and I are going with my father to an agricultural meeting at Canonbury on Thursday, and my mother desired me to say to you how very much obliged she should be if you would spare her Miss Gibson for the day. She was very anxious to ask for the pleasure of your company, too, but she really is so poorly that we persuaded her to be content with Miss Gibson, as she wouldn't scruple leaving a young lady to amuse herself, which she would be unwilling to do if you and your sister were there."
"My brother and I are going with my dad to an agriculture meeting at Canonbury on Thursday, and my mom asked me to tell you how grateful she would be if you could let Miss Gibson spend the day with her. She really wanted to invite you to join us, but she’s not feeling well, so we convinced her to just have Miss Gibson's company. She wouldn’t want to leave a young lady to entertain herself if you and your sister were there."
"I'm sure she's very kind; very. Nothing would have given us more pleasure," said Miss Browning, drawing herself up in gratified dignity. "Oh, yes, we quite understand, Mr. Roger; and we fully recognize Mrs. Hamley's kind intention. We will take the will for the deed, as the common people express it. I believe that there was an intermarriage between the Brownings and the Hamleys, a generation or two ago."
"I'm sure she's very kind; indeed. Nothing would have made us happier," said Miss Browning, standing tall in pleased dignity. "Oh, yes, we completely understand, Mr. Roger; and we really appreciate Mrs. Hamley's thoughtful gesture. We will take the intention as the action, as common folks say. I believe there was an intermarriage between the Brownings and the Hamleys a generation or two back."
"I daresay there was," said Roger. "My mother is very delicate, and obliged to humour her health, which has made her keep aloof from society."
"I dare say there was," said Roger. "My mother is very fragile, and has to prioritize her health, which has caused her to stay away from social gatherings."
"Then I may go?" said Molly, sparkling with the idea of seeing her dear Mrs. Hamley again, yet afraid of appearing too desirous of leaving her kind old friends.
"Then can I go?" said Molly, excited at the thought of seeing her dear Mrs. Hamley again, but also worried about looking too eager to leave her wonderful old friends.
"To be sure, my dear. Write a pretty note, and tell Mrs. Hamley how much obliged to her we are for thinking of us."
"Of course, my dear. Write a nice note, and let Mrs. Hamley know how grateful we are for thinking of us."
"I'm afraid I can't wait for a note," said Roger. "I must take a message instead, for I have to meet my father at one o'clock, and it's close upon it now."
"I'm afraid I can't wait for a note," said Roger. "I need to send a message instead, because I have to meet my dad at one o'clock, and it's almost that time now."
When he was gone, Molly felt so light-hearted at the thoughts of Thursday that she could hardly attend to what the Miss Brownings were saying. One was talking about the pretty muslin gown which Molly had sent to the wash only that morning, and contriving how it could be had back again in time for her to wear; and the other, Miss Phœbe, totally inattentive to her sister's speaking for a wonder, was piping out a separate strain of her own, and singing Roger Hamley's praises.
When he left, Molly felt so cheerful thinking about Thursday that she could hardly focus on what the Miss Brownings were saying. One was discussing the pretty muslin dress that Molly had sent to the wash that morning and figuring out how to get it back in time for her to wear it; and the other, Miss Phœbe, surprisingly not paying attention to her sister, was enthusiastically singing praises of Roger Hamley.
"Such a fine-looking young man, and so courteous and affable. Like the young men of our youth now, is he not, sister? And yet they all say Mr. Osborne is the handsomest. What do you think, child?"
"He's such a handsome young man, and so polite and friendly. Isn’t he just like the young men we have now, sister? Yet everyone says Mr. Osborne is the most attractive. What do you think, dear?"
"I've never seen Mr. Osborne," said Molly, blushing, and hating herself for doing so. Why was it? She had never seen him as she said. It was only that her fancy had dwelt on him so much.
"I've never seen Mr. Osborne," Molly said, blushing and feeling annoyed with herself for it. Why was that? She really hadn't seen him as she claimed. It was just that she had imagined him so much.
He was gone—all the gentlemen were gone before the carriage, which came to fetch Molly on Thursday, reached Hamley Hall. But Molly was almost glad, she was so much afraid of being disappointed. Besides, she had her dear Mrs. Hamley the more to herself; the quiet sit in the morning-room, talking poetry and romance; the midday saunter into the garden, brilliant with autumnal flowers and glittering dew-drops on the gossamer webs that stretched from scarlet to blue, and thence to purple and yellow petals. As they were sitting at lunch, a strange man's voice and step were heard in the hall; the door was opened, and a young man came in, who could be no other than Osborne. He was beautiful and languid-looking, almost as frail in appearance as his mother, whom he strongly resembled. This seeming delicacy made him appear older than he was. He was dressed to perfection, and yet with easy carelessness. He came up to his mother, and stood by her, holding her hand, while his eyes sought Molly, not boldly or impertinently, but as if appraising her critically.
He was gone—all the gentlemen had left before the carriage that came to pick up Molly on Thursday arrived at Hamley Hall. But Molly was almost relieved; she was so afraid of being let down. Besides, she had her dear Mrs. Hamley all to herself; they enjoyed a quiet time in the morning room, talking about poetry and romance; a leisurely stroll in the garden, vibrant with autumn flowers and sparkling dew drops on the gossamer webs that stretched from red to blue, and then to purple and yellow petals. While they were having lunch, they heard the sound of a strange man's voice and footsteps in the hall; the door opened, and a young man walked in, who could only be Osborne. He was handsome and had a languid look, almost as fragile in appearance as his mother, whom he strongly resembled. This apparent delicateness made him seem older than he actually was. He was perfectly dressed, yet with an air of easy nonchalance. He approached his mother and stood by her, holding her hand, while his eyes searched for Molly—not in a bold or rude way, but as if he were evaluating her critically.
"Yes! I'm back again. Bullocks, I find, are not in my line. I only disappointed my father in not being able to appreciate their merits, and, I'm afraid, I didn't care to learn. And the smell was insufferable on such a hot day."
"Yes! I'm back again. I find that bulls are just not for me. I only disappointed my dad by not being able to appreciate their qualities, and honestly, I didn't really want to learn. The smell was unbearable on such a hot day."
"My dear boy, don't make apologies to me; keep them for your father. I'm only too glad to have you back. Miss Gibson, this tall fellow is my son Osborne, as I daresay you have guessed. Osborne—Miss Gibson. Now, what will you have?"
"My dear boy, don’t apologize to me; save that for your father. I’m just really happy to have you back. Miss Gibson, this tall guy is my son Osborne, as you probably guessed. Osborne—this is Miss Gibson. So, what can I get you?"
He looked round the table as he sate down. "Nothing here," said he. "Isn't there some cold game-pie? I'll ring for that."
He looked around the table as he sat down. "Nothing here," he said. "Isn't there some cold game pie? I'll call for that."
Molly was trying to reconcile the ideal with the real. The ideal was agile, yet powerful, with Greek features and an eagle-eye, capable of enduring long fasting, and indifferent as to what he ate. The real was almost effeminate in movement, though not in figure; he had the Greek features, but his blue eyes had a cold, weary expression in them. He was dainty in eating, and had anything but a Homeric appetite. However, Molly's hero was not to eat more than Ivanhoe, when he was Friar Tuck's guest; and, after all, with a little alteration, she began to think Mr. Osborne Hamley might turn out a poetical, if not a chivalrous hero. He was extremely attentive to his mother, which pleased Molly, and, in return, Mrs. Hamley seemed charmed with him to such a degree that Molly once or twice fancied that mother and son would have been happier in her absence. Yet, again, it struck on the shrewd, if simple girl, that Osborne was mentally squinting at her in the conversation which was directed to his mother. There were little turns and 'fioriture' of speech which Molly could not help feeling were graceful antics of language not common in the simple daily intercourse between mother and son. But it was flattering rather than otherwise to perceive that a very fine young man, who was a poet to boot, should think it worth while to talk on the tight rope for her benefit. And before the afternoon was ended, without there having been any direct conversation between Osborne and Molly, she had reinstated him on his throne in her imagination; indeed, she had almost felt herself disloyal to her dear Mrs. Hamley when, in the first hour after her introduction, she had questioned his claims on his mother's idolatry. His beauty came out more and more, as he became animated in some discussion with her; and all his attitudes, if a little studied, were graceful in the extreme. Before Molly left, the squire and Roger returned from Canonbury.
Molly was trying to reconcile the ideal with the real. The ideal was agile yet powerful, with Greek features and an eagle eye, capable of enduring long fasts and indifferent to what he ate. The real was almost effeminate in movement, though not in figure; he had the Greek features, but his blue eyes had a cold, weary expression. He was delicate in eating and had anything but a Homeric appetite. However, Molly's hero was not supposed to eat more than Ivanhoe when he was Friar Tuck's guest; and, after some thought, she began to believe that Mr. Osborne Hamley might turn out to be a poetic, if not a chivalrous, hero. He was extremely attentive to his mother, which pleased Molly, and in return, Mrs. Hamley seemed so charmed by him that Molly once or twice felt that mother and son would have been happier without her around. Yet again, it struck the perceptive, if simple, girl that Osborne was mentally sizing her up in the conversation directed at his mother. There were little turns and flourishes in his speech that Molly felt were graceful language stunts not common in the simple daily exchanges between mother and son. But it was flattering rather than otherwise to see that a very fine young man, who was also a poet, thought it worthwhile to perform for her benefit. And before the afternoon ended, without any direct conversation between Osborne and Molly, she had reinstated him on his throne in her imagination; indeed, she almost felt disloyal to her dear Mrs. Hamley when, in the first hour after meeting him, she had questioned his worthiness of his mother's adoration. His beauty became more apparent as he grew animated in a discussion with her; all his postures, though a bit studied, were extremely graceful. Before Molly left, the squire and Roger returned from Canonbury.
"Osborne here!" said the Squire, red and panting. "Why the deuce couldn't you tell us you were coming home? I looked about for you everywhere, just as we were going into the ordinary. I wanted to introduce you to Grantley, and Fox, and Lord Forrest—men from the other side of the county, whom you ought to know; and Roger there missed above half his dinner hunting about for you; and all the time you'd stole away, and were quietly sitting here with the women. I wish you'd let me know the next time you make off. I've lost half my pleasure in looking at as fine a lot of cattle as I ever saw, with thinking you might be having one of your old attacks of faintness."
"Osborne's here!" said the Squire, flushed and out of breath. "Why on earth couldn’t you let us know you were coming home? I searched everywhere for you just as we were heading into the dining room. I wanted to introduce you to Grantley, Fox, and Lord Forrest—guys from the other side of the county that you should meet; and Roger over there missed more than half his dinner looking for you; and all the while you snuck away and were sitting here with the women. I wish you’d let me know next time you sneak off. I've lost half my enjoyment of seeing such a great bunch of cattle, worrying that you might be having one of your old fainting spells."
"I should have had one, I think, if I'd stayed longer in that atmosphere. But I'm sorry if I've caused you anxiety."
"I think I should have had one if I'd stayed longer in that environment. But I'm sorry if I caused you any stress."
"Well! well!" said the Squire, somewhat mollified. "And Roger, too,—there I've been sending him here and sending him there all the afternoon."
"Well! well!" said the Squire, a bit calmed down. "And Roger, too—I've been sending him here and there all afternoon."
"I didn't mind it, sir. I was only sorry you were so uneasy. I thought Osborne had gone home, for I knew it wasn't much in his way," said Roger.
"I didn't mind it, sir. I just felt bad that you were so uncomfortable. I thought Osborne had gone home because I knew it wasn't really his thing," said Roger.
Molly intercepted a glance between the two brothers—a look of true confidence and love, which suddenly made her like them both under the aspect of relationship—new to her observation.
Molly caught a look shared between the two brothers—a genuine expression of confidence and love—that unexpectedly made her feel fond of both of them in a way she hadn't noticed before.
Roger came up to her, and sat down by her.
Roger walked over to her and sat next to her.
"Well, and how are you getting on with Huber; don't you find him very interesting?"
"Well, how are you getting along with Huber? Don't you find him really interesting?"
"I'm afraid," said Molly, penitently, "I haven't read much. Miss Brownings like me to talk; and, besides, there is so much to do at home before papa comes back; and Miss Browning doesn't like me to go without her. I know it sounds nothing, but it does take up a great deal of time."
"I'm sorry," Molly said regretfully, "I haven't read much. Miss Browning likes it when I talk, and besides, there's so much to do at home before Dad comes back; and Miss Browning doesn't want me to go without her. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it really takes up a lot of time."
"When is your father coming back?"
"When is your dad coming back?"
"Next Tuesday, I believe. He cannot stay long away."
"Next Tuesday, I think. He can't be gone for long."
"I shall ride over and pay my respects to Mrs. Gibson," said he. "I shall come as soon as I may. Your father has been a very kind friend to me ever since I was a boy. And when I come, I shall expect my pupil to have been very diligent," he concluded, smiling his kind, pleasant smile at idle Molly.
"I'll ride over and pay my respects to Mrs. Gibson," he said. "I'll come as soon as I can. Your father has been a great friend to me since I was a kid. And when I come, I expect my student to have been very diligent," he finished, smiling his kind, friendly smile at the idle Molly.
Then the carriage came round, and she had the long solitary drive back to Miss Brownings'. It was dark out of doors when she got there; but Miss Phœbe was standing on the stairs, with a lighted candle in her hand, peering into the darkness to see Molly come in.
Then the carriage arrived, and she had the long, lonely drive back to Miss Brownings'. It was dark outside when she finally got there; but Miss Phœbe was standing on the stairs, holding a lit candle, straining to see Molly as she came in.
"Oh, Molly! I thought you'd never come back. Such a piece of news! Sister has gone to bed; she's had a headache—with the excitement, I think; but she says it's new bread. Come upstairs softly, my dear, and I'll tell you what it is! Who do you think has been here,—drinking tea with us, too, in the most condescending manner?"
"Oh, Molly! I didn't think you'd ever come back. What a piece of news! Sister has gone to bed; she has a headache—with all the excitement, I think; but she says it's from the new bread. Come upstairs quietly, my dear, and I'll tell you what it is! Guess who has been here—drinking tea with us, too, in the most condescending way?"
"Lady Harriet?" said Molly, suddenly enlightened by the word "condescending."
"Lady Harriet?" Molly said, suddenly realizing what the word "condescending" meant.
"Yes. Why, how did you guess it? But, after all, her call, at any rate in the first instance, was upon you. Oh, dear Molly! if you're not in a hurry to go to bed, let me sit down quietly and tell you all about it; for my heart jumps into my mouth still when I think of how I was caught. She—that is, her ladyship—left the carriage at 'The George,' and took to her feet to go shopping—just as you or I may have done many a time in our lives. And sister was taking her forty winks; and I was sitting with my gown up above my knees and my feet on the fender, pulling out my grandmother's lace which I'd been washing. The worst has yet to be told. I'd taken off my cap, for I thought it was getting dusk and no one would come, and there was I in my black silk skull-cap, when Nancy put her head in, and whispered, 'There's a lady downstairs—a real grand one, by her talk;' and in there came my Lady Harriet, so sweet and pretty in her ways, it was some time before I remembered I had never a cap on. Sister never wakened; or never roused up, so to say. She says she thought it was Nancy bringing in the tea when she heard some one moving; for her ladyship, as soon as she saw the state of the case, came and knelt down on the rug by me, and begged my pardon so prettily for having followed Nancy upstairs without waiting for permission; and was so taken by my old lace, and wanted to know how I washed it, and where you were, and when you'd be back, and when the happy couple would be back: till sister wakened—she's always a little bit put out, you know, when she first wakens from her afternoon nap,—and, without turning her head to see who it was, she said, quite sharp,—'Buzz, buzz, buzz! When will you learn that whispering is more fidgeting than talking out loud? I've not been able to sleep at all for the chatter you and Nancy have been keeping up all this time.' You know that was a little fancy of sister's, for she'd been snoring away as naturally as could be. So I went to her, and leant over her, and said in a low voice,—
"Yes. How did you guess? But really, her visit was initially for you. Oh, dear Molly! If you're not in a rush to sleep, let me sit down and share everything; my heart races even now thinking about how I got caught. She—that is, her ladyship—got out of the carriage at 'The George' and went shopping on foot, just like you or I have done many times. And my sister was napping, while I was sitting there with my dress hiked up and my feet on the fender, pulling out my grandmother's lace that I'd been washing. The worst part is still to come. I'd taken off my cap, thinking it was getting dark and no one would show up, and there I was in my black silk skull-cap when Nancy popped her head in and whispered, 'There's a lady downstairs—a really fancy one, by her voice;' and then my Lady Harriet came in, so sweet and charming that it took me a moment to remember I wasn't wearing a cap. My sister never woke up—well, not really. She said she thought it was Nancy bringing in the tea when she heard someone moving; because as soon as my lady saw the situation, she knelt down on the rug beside me and sweetly apologized for following Nancy upstairs without asking first; she was so fascinated by my old lace, asking how I washed it, where you were, when you'd be back, and when the happy couple would return, until my sister finally woke up—she can be a bit grumpy when she first wakes from her afternoon nap—and without even turning her head to see who it was, she said quite sharply, 'Buzz, buzz, buzz! When will you learn that whispering is more distracting than talking out loud? I haven't been able to sleep at all for all the chatter you and Nancy have been making.' You know that was just a little quirk of my sister's, because she had been snoring away as naturally as could be. So I went to her, leaned over, and said in a low voice,
"'Sister, it's her ladyship and me that has been conversing.'
"'Sister, it's her ladyship and I who have been talking.'"
"'Ladyship here, ladyship there! have you lost your wits, Phœbe, that you talk such nonsense—and in your skull-cap, too!'
"'Ladyship here, ladyship there! Have you lost your mind, Phœbe, that you're talking such nonsense—and wearing your cap, too!'"
"By this time she was sitting up—and, looking round her, she saw Lady Harriet, in her velvets and silks, sitting on our rug, smiling, her bonnet off, and her pretty hair all bright with the blaze of the fire. My word! sister was up on her feet directly; and she dropped her curtsey, and made her excuses for sleeping, as fast as might be, while I went off to put on my best cap, for sister might well say I was out of my wits to go on chatting to an earl's daughter in an old black silk skull-cap. Black silk, too! when, if I'd only known she was coming, I might have put on my new brown silk one, lying idle in my top drawer. And when I came back, sister was ordering tea for her ladyship,—our tea, I mean. So I took my turn at talk, and sister slipped out to put on her Sunday silk. But I don't think we were quite so much at our ease with her ladyship as when I sat pulling out my lace in my skull-cap. And she was quite struck with our tea, and asked where we got it, for she had never tasted any like it before; and I told her we gave only 3s. 4d. a pound for it, at Johnson's—(sister says I ought to have told her the price of our company-tea, which is 5s. a pound, only that was not what we were drinking; for, as ill-luck would have it, we'd none of it in the house)—and she said she would send us some of hers, all the way from Russia or Prussia, or some out-of-the-way place, and we were to compare and see which we liked best; and if we liked hers best, she could get it for us at 3s. a pound. And she left her love for you; and, though she was going away, you were not to forget her. Sister thought such a message would set you up too much, and told me she would not be chargeable for the giving it you. 'But,' I said, 'a message is a message, and it's on Molly's own shoulders if she's set up by it. Let us show her an example of humility, sister, though we have been sitting cheek-by-jowl in such company.' So sister humphed, and said she'd a headache, and went to bed. And now you may tell me your news, my dear."
"By this time, she was sitting up—and, looking around, she saw Lady Harriet, in her velvets and silks, sitting on our rug, smiling, her bonnet off, and her pretty hair all aglow from the fire. My goodness! Sister jumped up right away; she dropped a curtsey and quickly apologized for dozing off, while I hurried to put on my best cap, since sister was right to say I looked ridiculous chatting with an earl's daughter in an old black silk skull-cap. Black silk, too! If I had known she was coming, I could have worn my new brown silk one, which was sitting unused in my top drawer. When I returned, sister was busy getting tea for her ladyship—our tea, I mean. So I took my turn talking, and sister slipped out to change into her Sunday silk. But I don’t think we felt quite as comfortable with her ladyship as when I was sitting there pulling out my lace in my skull-cap. She was really impressed with our tea and asked where we got it, saying she had never tasted any like it before; I told her we got it for just 3s. 4d. a pound at Johnson's—(sister says I should have mentioned our company-tea, which is 5s. a pound, but that’s not what we were having; just our luck, we didn’t have any at home)—and she said she would send us some of hers from Russia or Prussia, or some far-off place, so we could compare and see which we liked best; and if we preferred hers, she could get it for us at 3s. a pound. She also sent her love to you; and even though she was leaving, she wanted you not to forget her. Sister thought such a message would make you too proud and told me she wouldn’t be responsible for giving it to you. 'But,' I said, 'a message is a message, and it’s on Molly’s own shoulders if she gets too proud from it. Let’s show her an example of humility, sister, even if we’ve been sitting cheek-by-jowl in such company.' So sister huffed and said she had a headache and went to bed. Now you can tell me your news, my dear."
So Molly told her small events; which, interesting as they might have been at other times to the gossip-loving and sympathetic Miss Phœbe, were rather pale in the stronger light reflected from the visit of an earl's daughter.
So Molly shared her little stories, which, as interesting as they might have been at other times to the gossip-loving and caring Miss Phœbe, felt rather dull in the brighter spotlight of the visit from an earl's daughter.
CHAPTER XV.
THE NEW MAMMA.
n Tuesday afternoon
Molly returned home—to the home which was
already strange, and what Warwickshire people would call "unked," to
her. New paint, new paper, new colours; grim servants dressed in
their best, and objecting to every change—from their master's
marriage to the new oilcloth in the hall, "which tripped 'em up, and
threw 'em down, and was cold to the feet, and smelt just abominable."
All these complaints Molly had to listen to, and it was not a
cheerful preparation for the reception which she already felt to be
so formidable.
On Tuesday afternoon,
Molly returned home—the home that already felt strange and what people in Warwickshire would call "unked" to her. New paint, new wallpaper, new colors; grim servants dressed in their best, complaining about every change—from their master's marriage to the new oilcloth in the hall, "which tripped them up, threw them down, felt cold on their feet, and smelled just awful." Molly had to listen to all these complaints, and it wasn't a cheerful way to prepare for the reception she already sensed would be so daunting.
The sound of their carriage-wheels was heard at last, and Molly went to the front door to meet them. Her father got out first, and took her hand and held it while he helped his bride to alight. Then he kissed her fondly, and passed her on to his wife; but her veil was so securely (and becomingly) fastened down, that it was some time before Mrs. Gibson could get her lips clear to greet her new daughter. Then there was luggage to be seen about; and both the travellers were occupied in this, while Molly stood by trembling with excitement, unable to help, and only conscious of Betty's rather cross looks, as heavy box after heavy box jammed up the passage.
The sound of their carriage wheels could finally be heard, and Molly went to the front door to greet them. Her dad got out first, took her hand, and held it while he helped his bride step down. Then he kissed her affectionately and handed her over to his wife; but her veil was so securely (and stylishly) fastened that it took a while for Mrs. Gibson to clear her lips to welcome her new daughter. Then there was luggage to deal with, and both travelers were busy with that while Molly stood by, trembling with excitement and unable to help, only aware of Betty's rather annoyed looks as heavy box after heavy box clogged the hallway.
"Molly, my dear, show—your mamma to her room!"
"Molly, my dear, please show your mom to her room!"
Mr. Gibson had hesitated, because the question of the name by which Molly was to call her new relation had never occurred to him before. The colour flashed into Molly's face. Was she to call her "mamma?"—the name long appropriated in her mind to some one else—to her own dead mother. The rebellious heart rose against it, but she said nothing. She led the way upstairs, Mrs. Gibson turning round, from time to time, with some fresh direction as to which bag or trunk she needed most. She hardly spoke to Molly till they were both in the newly-furnished bedroom, where a small fire had been lighted by Molly's orders.
Mr. Gibson hesitated because he had never thought about what Molly should call her new relative. Color rushed to Molly's face. Was she supposed to call her "mama?"—a name she had always associated with someone else: her deceased mother. Her rebellious heart protested, but she stayed silent. She led the way upstairs, with Mrs. Gibson frequently turning around to give fresh instructions about which bag or trunk she needed most. She barely spoke to Molly until they were in the newly furnished bedroom, where Molly had ordered a small fire to be lit.
"Now, my love, we can embrace each other in peace. O dear, how tired I am!"—(after the embrace had been accomplished). "My spirits are so easily affected with fatigue; but your dear papa has been kindness itself. Dear! what an old-fashioned bed! And what a— But it doesn't signify. By-and-by we'll renovate the house—won't we, my dear? And you'll be my little maid to-night, and help me to arrange a few things, for I'm just worn out with the day's journey."
"Now, my love, we can hold each other in peace. Oh dear, I'm so tired!"—(after the hug had happened). "I get so easily worn out; but your dear dad has been so kind. Wow! What a rustic bed! And whata— But it doesn't matter. Soon we'll update the house—right, my dear? And you'll be my little helper tonight, helping me to tidy up a few things because I'm completely exhausted from today's travel."
"I've ordered a sort of tea-dinner to be ready for you," said Molly. "Shall I go and tell them to send it in?"
"I've ordered a type of tea and dinner for you," said Molly. "Should I go and ask them to bring it in?"
"I'm not sure if I can go down again to-night. It would be very comfortable to have a little table brought in here, and sit in my dressing-gown by this cheerful fire. But, to be sure, there's your dear papa? I really don't think he would eat anything if I were not there. One must not think about oneself, you know. Yes, I'll come down in a quarter of an hour."
"I'm not sure if I can come down again tonight. It would be really nice to have a little table brought in here and sit in my robe by this cozy fire. But, of course, there's your dear dad? I honestly don't think he would eat anything if I wasn't there. One shouldn't just think about themselves, you know. Yeah, I'll come down in about fifteen minutes."
But Mr. Gibson had found a note awaiting him, with an immediate summons to an old patient, dangerously ill; and, snatching a mouthful of food while his horse was being saddled, he had to resume at once his old habits of attention to his profession above everything.
But Mr. Gibson found a note waiting for him, with an urgent request from an old patient who was seriously ill; and, grabbing a quick bite to eat while his horse was being saddled, he had to immediately return to his usual focus on his profession above all else.
As soon as Mrs. Gibson found that he was not likely to miss her presence—he had eaten a very tolerable lunch of bread and cold meat in solitude, so her fears about his appetite in her absence were not well founded—she desired to have her meal upstairs in her own room; and poor Molly, not daring to tell the servants of this whim, had to carry up first a table, which, however small, was too heavy for her; and afterwards all the choice portions of the meal, which she had taken great pains to arrange on the table, as she had seen such things done at Hamley, intermixed with fruit and flowers that had that morning been sent in from various great houses where Mr. Gibson was respected and valued. How pretty Molly had thought her handiwork an hour or two before! How dreary it seemed as, at last released from Mrs. Gibson's conversation, she sate down in solitude to cold tea and the drumsticks of the chicken! No one to look at her preparations, and admire her deft-handedness and taste! She had thought that her father would be gratified by it, and then he had never seen it. She had meant her cares as an offering of good-will to her stepmother, who even now was ringing her bell to have the tray taken away, and Miss Gibson summoned to her bedroom.
As soon as Mrs. Gibson realized that he wasn't going to miss her being there—he had eaten a decent lunch of bread and cold meat by himself, so her worries about his appetite without her weren't justified—she wanted to have her meal upstairs in her own room. Poor Molly, not wanting to tell the servants about this request, had to carry up a table, which, although small, was too heavy for her. Then she had to bring up all the special parts of the meal, which she had carefully arranged on the table as she had seen done at Hamley, mixed with fruits and flowers that had been sent over that morning from various important families who respected and valued Mr. Gibson. How beautiful Molly had thought her work just an hour or two earlier! How dull it felt as she finally sat down in solitude to cold tea and chicken drumsticks after being freed from Mrs. Gibson's conversation! There was no one to see her preparations and admire her skill and taste! She had thought her father would appreciate it, but he had never seen it. She had intended her efforts as a gesture of goodwill towards her stepmother, who was now ringing her bell to have the tray taken away and to call Miss Gibson to her bedroom.
Molly hastily finished her meal, and went upstairs again.
Molly quickly finished her meal and went back upstairs.
"I feel so lonely, darling, in this strange house; do come and be with me, and help me to unpack. I think your dear papa might have put off his visit to Mr. Craven Smith for just this one evening."
"I feel so lonely, babe, in this weird house; please come and be with me, and help me unpack. I think your sweet dad might have postponed his visit to Mr. Craven Smith for just this one evening."
"Mr. Craven Smith couldn't put off his dying," said Molly, bluntly.
"Mr. Craven Smith couldn’t delay his death," Molly said directly.
"You droll girl!" said Mrs. Gibson, with a faint laugh. "But if this Mr. Smith is dying, as you say, what's the use of your father's going off to him in such a hurry? Does he expect any legacy, or anything of that kind?"
"You funny girl!" said Mrs. Gibson, with a slight laugh. "But if this Mr. Smith is dying, as you say, what's the point of your father rushing off to see him? Does he think he's going to get any inheritance or something like that?"
Molly bit her lips to prevent herself from saying something disagreeable. She only answered,—
Molly bit her lips to stop herself from saying something rude. She just replied,—
"I don't quite know that he is dying. The man said so; and papa can sometimes do something to make the last struggle easier. At any rate, it's always a comfort to the family to have him."
"I’m not exactly sure that he’s dying. The man said he is; and Dad can sometimes do something to make the final struggle easier. Either way, it’s always a relief for the family to have him around."
"What dreary knowledge of death you have learned for a girl of your age! Really, if I had heard all these details of your father's profession, I doubt if I could have brought myself to have him!"
"What a gloomy understanding of death you’ve gained for someone your age! Honestly, if I had known all these details about your father’s job, I’m not sure I could have gone through with it!"
"He doesn't make the illness or the death; he does his best against them. I call it a very fine thing to think of what he does or tries to do. And you will think so, too, when you see how he is watched for, and how people welcome him!"
"He doesn't cause the illness or the death; he does his best to fight against them. I think it's really admirable what he does or tries to do. You’ll agree when you see how he's awaited and how people welcome him!"
"Well, don't let us talk any more of such gloomy things, to-night! I think I shall go to bed at once, I am so tired, if you will only sit by me till I get sleepy, darling. If you will talk to me, the sound of your voice will soon send me off."
"Well, let’s not talk about any more gloomy stuff tonight! I think I’ll head to bed right away; I’m really tired. If you could just sit with me until I feel sleepy, sweetheart, that would be great. If you talk to me, the sound of your voice will help me drift off soon."
Molly got a book, and read her stepmother to sleep, preferring that to the harder task of keeping up a continual murmur of speech.
Molly got a book and read her stepmother to sleep, choosing that over the tougher job of constantly making small talk.
Then she stole down and went into the dining-room, where the fire was gone out; purposely neglected by the servants, to mark their displeasure at their new mistress's having had her tea in her own room. Molly managed to light it, however, before her father came home, and collected and re-arranged some comfortable food for him. Then she knelt down again on the hearth-rug, gazing into the fire in a dreamy reverie, which had enough of sadness about it to cause the tears to drop unnoticed from her eyes. But she jumped up, and shook herself into brightness at the sound of her father's step.
Then she quietly slipped down and entered the dining room, where the fire had gone out; intentionally neglected by the servants to show their discontent with their new mistress having had her tea in her own room. Molly managed to light it again before her father got home and gathered and arranged some comforting food for him. Then she knelt down again on the hearth rug, staring into the fire in a dreamy daze, which had just enough sadness in it to make tears fall unnoticed from her eyes. But she quickly got up and shook off her gloom at the sound of her father’s footsteps.
"How is Mr. Craven Smith?" said she.
"How's Mr. Craven Smith?" she asked.
"Dead. He just recognized me. He was one of my first patients on coming to Hollingford."
"Dead. He just recognized me. He was one of my first patients when I arrived in Hollingford."
Mr. Gibson sate down in the arm-chair made ready for him, and warmed his hands at the fire, seeming neither to need food nor talk, as he went over a train of recollections. Then he roused himself from his sadness, and looking round the room, he said briskly enough,—
Mr. Gibson sat down in the armchair that had been prepared for him and warmed his hands by the fire, seeming to neither need food nor conversation as he reflected on a series of memories. Then he shook off his sadness and, looking around the room, said cheerfully enough,—
"And where's the new mamma?"
"And where's the new mom?"
"She was tired, and went to bed early. Oh, papa! must I call her 'mamma?'"
"She was tired and went to bed early. Oh, Dad! Do I have to call her 'Mom?'"
"I should like it," replied he, with a slight contraction of the brows.
"I would like that," he replied, slightly furrowing his brows.
Molly was silent. She put a cup of tea near him; he stirred it, and sipped it, and then he recurred to the subject.
Molly was quiet. She set a cup of tea next to him; he stirred it, took a sip, and then returned to the topic.
"Why shouldn't you call her 'mamma?' I'm sure she means to do the duty of a mother to you. We all may make mistakes, and her ways may not be quite all at once our ways; but at any rate let us start with a family bond between us."
"Why shouldn't you call her 'mom'? I'm sure she wants to take on the role of a mother for you. We all make mistakes, and her methods might not align with ours all the time; but for now, let's establish a family connection between us."
What would Roger say was right?—that was the question that rose to Molly's mind. She had always spoken of her father's new wife as Mrs. Gibson, and had once burst out at Miss Brownings with a protestation that she never would call her "mamma." She did not feel drawn to her new relation by their intercourse that evening. She kept silence, though she knew her father was expecting an answer. At last he gave up his expectation, and turned to another subject; told about their journey, questioned her as to the Hamleys, the Brownings, Lady Harriet, and the afternoon they had passed together at the Manor-house. But there was a certain hardness and constraint in his manner, and in hers a heaviness and absence of mind. All at once she said,—
What would Roger say was right?—that was the question that popped into Molly's mind. She had always referred to her father's new wife as Mrs. Gibson and had once emphatically told Miss Brownings that she would never call her "mom." She didn’t feel connected to her new stepmother during their interaction that evening. She stayed quiet, even though she knew her father was waiting for a response. Finally, he gave up on that expectation and shifted to another topic; he talked about their journey, asked her about the Hamleys, the Brownings, Lady Harriet, and the afternoon they spent together at the Manor house. But there was a certain stiffness and tension in his demeanor, and in her, a sense of heaviness and distraction. Suddenly, she said,—
"Papa, I will call her 'mamma!'"
"Dad, I will call her 'mom!'"
He took her hand, and grasped it tight; but for an instant or two he did not speak. Then he said,—
He took her hand and held it tightly; but for a moment or two, he didn’t say anything. Then he said—
"You won't be sorry for it, Molly, when you come to lie as poor Craven Smith did to-night."
"You won't regret it, Molly, when you end up lying like poor Craven Smith did tonight."
For some time the murmurs and grumblings of the two elder servants were confined to Molly's ears, then they spread to her father's, who, to Molly's dismay, made summary work with them.
For a while, the whispers and complaints of the two older servants were only heard by Molly, but then they reached her father's ears, who, much to Molly's dismay, dealt with them quickly.
"You don't like Mrs. Gibson's ringing her bell so often, don't you? You've been spoilt, I'm afraid; but if you don't conform to my wife's desires, you have the remedy in your own hands, you know."
"You don’t like Mrs. Gibson ringing her bell so often, do you? I’m afraid you’ve been spoiled; but if you don’t meet my wife’s expectations, you have the solution right in your hands, you know."
What servant ever resisted the temptation to give warning after such a speech as that? Betty told Molly she was going to leave, in as indifferent a manner as she could possibly assume towards the girl whom she had tended and been about for the last sixteen years. Molly had hitherto considered her former nurse as a fixture in the house; she would almost as soon have thought of her father's proposing to sever the relationship between them; and here was Betty coolly talking over whether her next place should be in town or country. But a great deal of this was assumed hardness. In a week or two Betty was in floods of tears at the prospect of leaving her nursling, and would fain have stayed and answered all the bells in the house once every quarter of an hour. Even Mr. Gibson's masculine heart was touched by the sorrow of the old servant, which made itself obvious to him every time he came across her by her broken voice and her swollen eyes.
What servant could resist the urge to give a warning after a speech like that? Betty told Molly she was going to leave in the most indifferent way she could manage towards the girl she had cared for and been around for the last sixteen years. Molly had always seen her former nurse as a permanent part of the household; she might as well have thought of her father proposing to end their relationship. And here was Betty casually discussing whether her next job would be in town or the countryside. But a lot of this was just a front. In a week or two, Betty was in tears at the thought of leaving her charge and would have gladly stayed to answer all the bells in the house every fifteen minutes. Even Mr. Gibson's manly heart was softened by the old servant's grief, which was clear to him every time he saw her, evident in her shaky voice and swollen eyes.
One day he said to Molly, "I wish you'd ask your mamma if Betty might not stay, if she made a proper apology, and all that sort of thing."
One day he said to Molly, "I wish you'd ask your mom if Betty could stay, if she made a proper apology and all that."
"I don't much think it will be of any use," said Molly, in a mournful voice. "I know she is writing, or has written, about some under-housemaid at the Towers."
"I really don't think it will be helpful," Molly said in a sad tone. "I know she is writing, or has written, about some under-housemaid at the Towers."
"Well!—all I want is peace and a decent quantity of cheerfulness when I come home. I see enough of tears at other people's houses. After all, Betty has been with us sixteen years—a sort of service of the antique world. But the woman may be happier elsewhere. Do as you like about asking mamma; only if she agrees, I shall be quite willing."
"Well! All I want is peace and a good amount of cheerfulness when I get home. I see enough tears at other people's places. After all, Betty has been with us for sixteen years—a kind of relic from the past. But she might be happier somewhere else. Do what you want about asking Mom; just know that if she says yes, I’m totally on board."
So Molly tried her hand at making a request to that effect to Mrs. Gibson. Her instinct told her she would be unsuccessful; but surely favour was never refused in so soft a tone.
So Molly attempted to make a request like that to Mrs. Gibson. Her intuition hinted that she wouldn't succeed; but surely, a favor was never denied in such a gentle way.
"My dear girl, I should never have thought of sending an old servant away,—one who has had the charge of you from your birth, or nearly so. I could not have had the heart to do it. She might have stayed for ever for me, if she had only attended to all my wishes; and I am not unreasonable, am I? But, you see, she complained; and when your dear papa spoke to her, she gave warning; and it is quite against my principles ever to take an apology from a servant who has given warning."
"My dear girl, I never would have considered sending away an old servant—someone who has been responsible for you since you were born, or almost. I couldn't have brought myself to do that. She could have stayed forever with me if she had just listened to what I wanted; and I’m not asking for too much, am I? But you see, she complained, and when your dear dad talked to her, she decided to quit; and it goes against my principles to accept an apology from a servant who has resigned."
"She is so sorry," pleaded Molly; "she says she will do anything you wish, and attend to all your orders, if she may only stay."
"She’s really sorry," Molly begged; "she says she’ll do anything you want and follow all your instructions if she can just stay."
"But, sweet one, you seem to forget that I cannot go against my principles, however much I may be sorry for Betty. She should not have given way to ill-temper. As I said before, although I never liked her, and considered her a most inefficient servant, thoroughly spoilt by having had no mistress for so long, I should have borne with her—at least, I think I should—as long as I could. Now I have all but engaged Maria, who was under-housemaid at the Towers, so don't let me hear any more of Betty's sorrow, or anybody else's sorrow, for I'm sure, what with your dear papa's sad stories and other things, I'm getting quite low."
"But, my dear, you seem to forget that I can’t go against my principles, no matter how much I feel for Betty. She shouldn’t have let her bad mood get the better of her. As I mentioned before, even though I never liked her and thought she was a pretty useless servant, totally spoiled from not having a mistress for so long, I would have put up with her—at least, I believe I would—as long as possible. Now I’ve almost hired Maria, who was the under-housemaid at the Towers, so please don’t let me hear any more about Betty’s troubles, or anyone else’s for that matter, because with your dear dad’s sad stories and everything else, I’m really starting to feel down."
Molly was silent for a moment or two.
Molly was quiet for a minute or two.
"Have you quite engaged Maria?" asked she.
"Have you really gotten engaged to Maria?" she asked.
"No—I said 'all but engaged.' Sometimes one would think you did not hear things, dear Molly!" replied Mrs. Gibson, petulantly. "Maria is living in a place where they don't give her as much wages as she deserves. Perhaps they can't afford it, poor things! I'm always sorry for poverty, and would never speak hardly of those who are not rich; but I have offered her two pounds more than she gets at present, so I think she'll leave. At any rate, if they increase her wages, I shall increase my offer in proportion; so I think I'm sure to get her. Such a genteel girl!—always brings in a letter on a salver!"
"No—I said 'all but engaged.' Sometimes I wonder if you’re really listening, dear Molly!" Mrs. Gibson replied, a bit annoyed. "Maria is working somewhere that doesn’t pay her what she deserves. Maybe they just can’t afford it, poor things! I always feel sorry for those who are struggling, and I would never speak badly about people who aren’t wealthy; but I’ve offered her two pounds more than she’s making now, so I think she’ll leave. In any case, if they raise her pay, I’ll increase my offer accordingly; so I’m pretty sure I’ll get her. Such a classy girl!—always brings in a letter on a tray!"
"Poor Betty!" said Molly, softly.
"Poor Betty!" Molly said softly.
"Poor old soul! I hope she'll profit by the lesson, I'm sure," sighed out Mrs. Gibson; "but it's a pity we hadn't Maria before the county families began to call."
"Poor thing! I really hope she learns from this, I'm sure," sighed Mrs. Gibson; "but it's a shame we didn't have Maria before the county families started to visit."
Mrs. Gibson had been highly gratified by the circumstance of so many calls "from county families." Her husband was much respected; and many ladies from various halls, courts, and houses, who had profited by his services towards themselves and their families, thought it right to pay his new wife the attention of a call when they drove into Hollingford to shop. The state of expectation into which these calls threw Mrs. Gibson rather diminished Mr. Gibson's domestic comfort. It was awkward to be carrying hot, savoury-smelling dishes from the kitchen to the dining-room at the very time when high-born ladies, with noses of aristocratic refinement, might be calling. Still more awkward was the accident which happened in consequence of clumsy Betty's haste to open the front door to a lofty footman's ran-tan, which caused her to set down the basket containing the dirty plates right in his mistress's way, as she stepped gingerly through the comparative darkness of the hall; and then the young men, leaving the dining-room quietly enough, but bursting with long-repressed giggle, or no longer restraining their tendency to practical joking, no matter who might be in the passage when they made their exit. The remedy proposed by Mrs. Gibson for all these distressing grievances was a late dinner. The luncheon for the young men, as she observed to her husband, might be sent into the surgery. A few elegant cold trifles for herself and Molly would not scent the house, and she would always take care to have some little dainty ready for him. He acceded, but unwillingly, for it was an innovation on the habits of a lifetime, and he felt as if he should never be able to arrange his rounds aright with this new-fangled notion of a six o'clock dinner.
Mrs. Gibson was very pleased by the number of calls she received from “county families.” Her husband was well-respected, and many women from various estates and homes, who had benefited from his services to them and their families, thought it was appropriate to pay his new wife a visit when they came into Hollingford to shop. The anticipation these visits created for Mrs. Gibson somewhat disrupted Mr. Gibson’s home life. It was awkward for him to be carrying hot, fragrant dishes from the kitchen to the dining room at the same time that high-born ladies, with their refined noses, might be dropping by. Even more awkward was the incident that occurred when clumsy Betty rushed to open the front door for an imposing footman, causing her to place the basket of dirty plates right in Mrs. Gibson’s path as she stepped carefully through the dimly lit hall. And then there were the young men, who left the dining room quietly enough but couldn’t contain their laughter, or their urge to joke around, regardless of who might be in the hallway when they exited. Mrs. Gibson’s solution to these annoying issues was to have dinner later. The young men’s lunch, she suggested to her husband, could be served in the surgery. A few stylish cold snacks for herself and Molly wouldn’t cause any odors in the house, and she would always make sure to have a little treat ready for him. He agreed, but reluctantly, as it was a change to the habits he had followed for a lifetime, and he felt that he would never be able to properly manage his rounds with this new idea of a six o'clock dinner.
"Don't get any dainties for me, my dear; bread-and-cheese is the chief of my diet, like it was that of the old woman's."
"Don't get me any treats, my dear; bread and cheese is my main diet, just like it was for the old woman."
"I know nothing of your old woman," replied his wife; "but really I cannot allow cheese to come beyond the kitchen."
"I don't know anything about your old woman," his wife replied, "but I really can't let cheese go past the kitchen."
"Then I'll eat it there," said he. "It's close to the stable-yard, and if I come in in a hurry I can get it in a moment."
"Then I'll eat it there," he said. "It's close to the stable, and if I come in quickly, I can grab it in no time."
"Really, Mr. Gibson, it is astonishing to compare your appearance and manners with your tastes. You look such a gentleman, as dear Lady Cumnor used to say."
"Honestly, Mr. Gibson, it's surprising to see how your looks and behavior don’t match your tastes. You come across as such a gentleman, just like dear Lady Cumnor used to say."
Then the cook left; also an old servant, though not so old a one as Betty. The cook did not like the trouble of late dinners; and, being a Methodist, she objected on religious grounds to trying any of Mrs. Gibson's new receipts for French dishes. It was not scriptural, she said. There was a deal of mention of food in the Bible; but it was of sheep ready dressed, which meant mutton, and of wine, and of bread-and-milk, and figs and raisins, of fatted calves, a good well-browned fillet of veal, and such like; but it had always gone against her conscience to cook swine-flesh and make raised pork-pies, and now if she was to be set to cook heathen dishes after the fashion of the Papists, she'd sooner give it all up together. So the cook followed in Betty's track, and Mr. Gibson had to satisfy his healthy English appetite on badly-made omelettes, rissoles, vol-au-vents, croquets, and timbales; never being exactly sure what he was eating.
Then the cook left, along with an old servant who wasn't quite as old as Betty. The cook didn't like the hassle of late dinners, and being a Methodist, she declined to try any of Mrs. Gibson's new recipes for French dishes on religious grounds. She said it wasn't scriptural. The Bible mentions food quite a bit, but it refers to dressed sheep, which means mutton, as well as wine, bread-and-milk, figs, raisins, fatted calves, and a nicely browned fillet of veal, and things like that; but she'd always felt it was wrong to cook pork and make fancy pork pies, and now if she was expected to prepare heathen dishes like the Catholics did, she'd rather quit altogether. So the cook followed Betty's lead, and Mr. Gibson had to settle for poorly made omelets, rissoles, vol-au-vents, croquettes, and timbales, never quite sure what he was actually eating.
He had made up his mind before his marriage to yield in trifles, and be firm in greater things. But the differences of opinion about trifles arose every day, and were perhaps more annoying than if they had related to things of more consequence. Molly knew her father's looks as well as she knew her alphabet; his wife did not; and being an unperceptive person, except when her own interests were dependent upon another person's humour, never found out how he was worried by all the small daily concessions which he made to her will or her whims. He never allowed himself to put any regret into shape, even in his own mind; he repeatedly reminded himself of his wife's good qualities, and comforted himself by thinking they should work together better as time rolled on; but he was very angry at a bachelor great-uncle of Mr. Coxe's, who, after taking no notice of his red-headed nephew for years, suddenly sent for him, after the old man had partially recovered from a serious attack of illness, and appointed him his heir, on condition that his great-nephew remained with him during the rest of his life. This had happened almost directly after Mr. and Mrs. Gibson's return from their wedding journey, and once or twice since that time Mr. Gibson had found himself wondering why the deuce old Benson could not have made up his mind sooner, and so have rid his house of the unwelcome presence of the young lover. To do Mr. Coxe justice, in the very last conversation he had as a pupil with Mr. Gibson he said, with hesitating awkwardness, that perhaps the new circumstances in which he should be placed might make some difference with regard to Mr. Gibson's opinion on—
He had decided before he got married to give in on small things and stand firm on the big issues. But the disagreements over minor details popped up every day and were possibly even more frustrating than if they had been about more important matters. Molly could read her father's expressions as well as she could read the alphabet; his wife couldn’t. Being someone who only noticed things when her own interests were at stake, she never realized how much he was bothered by all the little daily compromises he made to accommodate her wants and whims. He never let himself dwell on any regrets, even in his thoughts; he constantly reminded himself of his wife's good qualities and reassured himself that they would work together better as time went on. However, he was really angry at Mr. Coxe’s bachelor great-uncle, who, after ignoring his red-headed nephew for years, suddenly called for him once he had partially recovered from a serious illness and named him his heir on the condition that Mr. Coxe stayed with him for the rest of his life. This happened almost right after Mr. and Mrs. Gibson returned from their honeymoon, and a few times since then, Mr. Gibson found himself wondering why the old man hadn’t made this decision sooner to get rid of the unwanted presence of the young lover. To give Mr. Coxe his due, in their last conversation as teacher and pupil, he awkwardly mentioned that perhaps the new situation he would find himself in might change Mr. Gibson's thoughts on—
"Not at all," said Mr. Gibson, quickly. "You are both of you too young to know your own minds; and if my daughter was silly enough to be in love, she should never have to calculate her happiness on the chances of an old man's death. I dare say he'll disinherit you after all. He may do, and then you'd be worse off than ever. No! go away, and forget all this nonsense; and when you've done, come back and see us!"
"Not at all," Mr. Gibson said quickly. "You both are too young to know what you really want; and if my daughter is foolish enough to be in love, she shouldn’t have to base her happiness on the possibility of an old man's death. I wouldn’t be surprised if he disinherits you after all. He might, and then you’d be worse off than ever. No! Just go away and forget this nonsense; and when you’re done, come back and see us!"
So Mr. Coxe went away, with an oath of unalterable faithfulness in his heart; and Mr. Gibson had unwillingly to fulfil an old promise made to a gentleman farmer in the neighbourhood a year or two before, and to take the second son of Mr. Browne in young Coxe's place. He was to be the last of the race of pupils, and as he was rather more than a year younger than Molly, Mr. Gibson trusted that there would be no repetition of the Coxe romance.
So Mr. Coxe left, swearing he would always be faithful; and Mr. Gibson reluctantly had to keep an old promise he made to a local farmer a year or two earlier, taking Mr. Browne's second son to fill in for young Coxe. He was going to be the last of the pupils, and since he was just over a year younger than Molly, Mr. Gibson hoped there wouldn’t be a repeat of the Coxe romance.
CHAPTER XVI.
THE BRIDE AT HOME.
Among the "county people" (as Mrs. Gibson termed them) who called upon her as a bride, were the two young Mr. Hamleys. The Squire, their father, had done his congratulations, as far as he ever intended to do them, to Mr. Gibson himself when he came to the hall; but Mrs. Hamley, unable to go and pay visits herself, anxious to show attention to her kind doctor's new wife, and with perhaps a little sympathetic curiosity as to how Molly and her stepmother got on together, made her sons ride over to Hollingford with her cards and apologies. They came into the newly-furnished drawing-room, looking bright and fresh from their ride: Osborne first, as usual, perfectly dressed for the occasion, and with the sort of fine manner which sate so well upon him; Roger, looking like a strong-built, cheerful, intelligent country farmer, followed in his brother's train. Mrs. Gibson was dressed for receiving callers, and made the effect she always intended to produce, of a very pretty woman, no longer in first youth, but with such soft manners and such a caressing voice, that people forgot to wonder what her real age might be. Molly was better dressed than formerly; her stepmother saw after that. She disliked anything old or shabby, or out of taste about her; it hurt her eye; and she had already fidgeted Molly into a new amount of care about the manner in which she put on her clothes, arranged her hair, and was gloved and shod. Mrs. Gibson had tried to put her through a course of rosemary washes and creams in order to improve her tanned complexion; but about that Molly was either forgetful or rebellious, and Mrs. Gibson could not well come up to the girl's bedroom every night and see that she daubed her face and neck over with the cosmetics so carefully provided for her. Still her appearance was extremely improved, even to Osborne's critical eye. Roger sought rather to discover in her looks and expression whether she was happy or not; his mother had especially charged him to note all these signs.
Among the "county people" (as Mrs. Gibson called them) who visited her as a bride were the two young Mr. Hamleys. Their father, the Squire, had given his congratulations, as much as he ever planned to, to Mr. Gibson when he visited the hall; but Mrs. Hamley, unable to go out and make visits herself, eager to show her appreciation to her kind doctor's new wife, and perhaps a bit curious about how Molly and her stepmother were getting along, had her sons ride over to Hollingford with her cards and apologies. They entered the newly-furnished living room, looking bright and fresh from their ride: Osborne, as usual, perfectly dressed for the occasion, with a charming manner that suited him well; following behind, Roger looked like a strong, cheerful, intelligent country farmer. Mrs. Gibson was dressed to receive visitors and created the impression she always intended to make, of a very attractive woman, no longer young but with such gentle manners and a soft voice that people forgot to wonder what her actual age was. Molly was dressed better than before; her stepmother made sure of that. She disliked anything old, shabby, or out of style on her; it bothered her. She had already nudged Molly into being more careful about how she put on her clothes, styled her hair, and accessorized. Mrs. Gibson had tried to get her to use rosemary washes and creams to improve her tanned complexion, but Molly was either forgetful or resistant, and Mrs. Gibson couldn't go into the girl's bedroom every night to check that she used the cosmetics carefully provided for her. Still, her appearance had improved significantly, even in Osborne's discerning eyes. Roger was more interested in figuring out from her looks and expressions whether she was happy; his mother had specifically asked him to watch for all these signs.
Osborne and Mrs. Gibson made themselves agreeable to each other according to the approved fashion when a young man calls on a middle-aged bride. They talked of the "Shakspeare and musical glasses" of the day, each vieing with the other in their knowledge of London topics. Molly heard fragments of their conversation in the pauses of silence between Roger and herself. Her hero was coming out in quite a new character; no longer literary or poetical, or romantic, or critical, he was now full of the last new play, the singers at the opera. He had the advantage over Mrs. Gibson, who, in fact, only spoke of these things from hearsay, from listening to the talk at the Towers, while Osborne had run up from Cambridge two or three times to hear this, or to see that wonder of the season. But she had the advantage over him in greater boldness of invention to eke out her facts; and besides she had more skill in the choice and arrangement of her words, so as to make it appear as if the opinions that were in reality quotations, were formed by herself from actual experience or personal observation; such as, in speaking of the mannerisms of a famous Italian singer, she would ask,—
Osborne and Mrs. Gibson were being very friendly with each other, following the usual routine when a young man visits a middle-aged bride. They chatted about the latest "Shakespeare and musical glasses," each trying to show off their knowledge of London trends. Molly caught snippets of their conversation during the silences between Roger and herself. Her hero was revealing a completely new side; instead of being literary, poetic, romantic, or critical, he was now all about the latest play and the opera singers. He had the upper hand over Mrs. Gibson, who only discussed these topics from hearsay, having listened to conversations at the Towers, while Osborne had actually come down from Cambridge a few times to check out the season's highlights. But she outshone him with her bolder imagination to embellish her facts; plus, she was better at choosing and arranging her words to make it seem like her opinions, which were actually quotes, were based on her own experiences or observations. For example, when talking about the quirks of a renowned Italian singer, she would ask,—
"Did you observe her constant trick of heaving her shoulders and clasping her hands together before she took a high note?"—which was so said as to imply that Mrs. Gibson herself had noticed this trick. Molly, who had a pretty good idea by this time of how her stepmother had passed the last year of her life, listened with no small bewilderment to this conversation; but at length decided that she must misunderstand what they were saying, as she could not gather up the missing links for the necessity of replying to Roger's questions and remarks. Osborne was not the same Osborne he was when with his mother at the Hall.
"Did you notice her usual habit of raising her shoulders and clasping her hands together before hitting a high note?"—which was said in a way that suggested Mrs. Gibson had noticed this habit herself. Molly, who by now had a pretty good idea of how her stepmother had spent the last year, listened with some confusion to this conversation; but eventually decided that she must be misunderstanding what they were saying, as she couldn't piece together the missing links needed to respond to Roger's questions and comments. Osborne was not the same Osborne he had been when with his mother at the Hall.
Roger saw Molly glancing at his brother.
Roger saw Molly looking at his brother.
"You think my brother looking ill?" said he, lowering his voice.
"You think my brother looks sick?" he asked, lowering his voice.
"No—not exactly."
"No—not really."
"He is not well. Both my father and I are anxious about him. That run on the Continent did him harm, instead of good; and his disappointment at his examination has told upon him, I'm afraid."
"He’s not doing well. Both my dad and I are worried about him. That trip to the Continent did him more harm than good, and I’m afraid his disappointment with his exam has affected him."
"I was not thinking he looked ill; only changed somehow."
"I didn't think he looked sick; just different in some way."
"He says he must go back to Cambridge soon. Possibly it may do him good; and I shall be off next week. This is a farewell visit to you, as well as one of congratulation to Mrs. Gibson."
"He says he has to go back to Cambridge soon. It might be good for him; and I’ll be heading out next week. This is both a goodbye visit to you and a chance to congratulate Mrs. Gibson."
"Your mother will feel your both going away, won't she? But of course young men will always have to live away from home."
"Your mom will definitely miss both of you, right? But of course, young guys will always have to move out and live on their own."
"Yes," he replied. "Still she feels it a good deal; and I'm not satisfied about her health either. You will go out and see her sometimes, will you? she is very fond of you."
"Yeah," he replied. "She still worries a lot about it, and I'm not too sure about her health either. You’ll visit her sometimes, won’t you? She really cares about you."
"If I may," said Molly, unconsciously glancing at her stepmother. She had an uncomfortable instinct that, in spite of Mrs. Gibson's own perpetual flow of words, she could, and did, hear everything that fell from Molly's lips.
"If I may," said Molly, glancing at her stepmother without realizing it. She had an uneasy feeling that, despite Mrs. Gibson's constant chatter, she could and did hear every word that came out of Molly's mouth.
"Do you want any more books?" said he. "If you do, make a list out, and send it to my mother before I leave, next Tuesday. After I am gone, there will be no one to go into the library and pick them out."
"Do you want any more books?" he asked. "If you do, make a list and send it to my mom before I leave next Tuesday. Once I'm gone, there won’t be anyone to go into the library and pick them out."
As soon as they had left, Mrs. Gibson began her usual comments on the departed visitors.
As soon as they left, Mrs. Gibson started her usual commentary on the guests who had just left.
"I do like that Osborne Hamley! What a nice fellow he is! Somehow, I always do like eldest sons. He will have the estate, won't he? I shall ask your dear papa to encourage him to come about the house. He will be a very good, very pleasant acquaintance for you and Cynthia. The other is but a loutish young fellow, to my mind; there is no aristocratic bearing about him. I suppose he takes after his mother, who is but a parvenue, I've heard them say at the Towers."
"I really like Osborne Hamley! He’s such a nice guy! For some reason, I always tend to like the oldest sons. He’s going to inherit the estate, right? I’ll ask your dear dad to encourage him to come around the house. He’ll be a great, really enjoyable friend for you and Cynthia. The other one is just a clumsy young man, in my opinion; he doesn’t have any aristocratic grace about him. I guess he takes after his mother, who is just a social climber, or so I've heard them say at the Towers."
Molly was spiteful enough to have great pleasure in saying,—
Molly was mean enough to take great pleasure in saying,—
"I think I've heard her father was a Russian merchant, and imported tallow and hemp. Mr. Osborne Hamley is extremely like her."
"I've heard that her dad was a Russian merchant who imported tallow and hemp. Mr. Osborne Hamley looks a lot like her."
"Indeed! But there's no calculating these things. Anyhow, he is the perfect gentleman in appearance and manner. The estate is entailed, is it not?"
"Absolutely! But you can't really predict these things. Anyway, he looks and acts like a true gentleman. The estate is entailed, right?"
"I know nothing about it," said Molly.
"I don't know anything about it," Molly said.
A short silence ensued. Then Mrs. Gibson said,—
A brief silence followed. Then Mrs. Gibson said, —
"Do you know, I almost think I must get dear papa to give a little dinner-party, and ask Mr. Osborne Hamley? I should like to have him feel at home in this house. It would be something cheerful for him after the dulness and solitude of Hamley Hall. For the old people don't visit much, I believe?"
"Do you know, I think I should get Dad to host a little dinner party and invite Mr. Osborne Hamley? I want him to feel at home here. It would be something nice for him after the boredom and loneliness of Hamley Hall. I don't think the older folks visit much, do they?"
"He's going back to Cambridge next week," said Molly.
"He's going back to Cambridge next week," Molly said.
"Is he? Well, then, we'll put off our little dinner till Cynthia comes home. I should like to have some young society for her, poor darling, when she returns."
"Is he? Well, in that case, we'll postpone our little dinner until Cynthia is back home. I’d love for her to have some young company, poor thing, when she returns."
"When is she coming?" said Molly, who had always a longing curiosity for this same Cynthia's return.
"When is she coming?" asked Molly, who had always been curious about Cynthia's return.
"Oh! I'm not sure; perhaps at the new year—perhaps not till Easter. I must get this drawing-room all new furnished first; and then I mean to fit up her room and yours just alike. They are just the same size, only on opposite sides of the passage."
"Oh! I’m not sure; maybe at the new year—maybe not until Easter. I need to get this living room completely furnished first; then I plan to set up her room and yours to be exactly the same. They’re the same size, just on opposite sides of the hall."
"Are you going to new-furnish that room?" said Molly, in astonishment at the never-ending changes.
"Are you going to redecorate that room?" said Molly, amazed at the constant changes.
"Yes; and yours, too, darling; so don't be jealous."
"Yeah, and yours too, babe, so don’t be jealous."
"Oh, please, mamma, not mine," said Molly, taking in the idea for the first time.
"Oh, please, Mom, not mine," said Molly, processing the idea for the first time.
"Yes, dear! You shall have yours done as well. A little French bed, and a new paper, and a pretty carpet, and a dressed-up toilet-table and glass, will make it look quite a different place."
"Yes, sweetheart! You can have yours done too. A little French bed, some new wallpaper, a nice carpet, and a styled-up vanity and mirror will make it look like a whole new place."
"But I don't want it to look different. I like it as it is. Pray don't do anything to it."
"But I don't want it to look different. I like it the way it is. Please don't change anything."
"What nonsense, child! I never heard anything more ridiculous! Most girls would be glad to get rid of furniture only fit for the lumber-room."
"What nonsense, kid! I've never heard anything more ridiculous! Most girls would be happy to get rid of furniture that's only good for the junk room."
"It was my own mamma's before she was married," said Molly, in a very low voice; bringing out this last plea unwillingly, but with a certainty that it would not be resisted.
"It was my mom's before she got married," said Molly, in a very quiet voice; she brought out this last appeal reluctantly, but with the confidence that it wouldn't be ignored.
Mrs. Gibson paused for a moment before she replied:
Mrs. Gibson paused for a moment before she answered:
"It's very much to your credit that you should have such feelings, I'm sure. But don't you think sentiment may be carried too far? Why, we should have no new furniture at all, and should have to put up with worm-eaten horrors. Besides, my dear, Hollingford will seem very dull to Cynthia, after pretty, gay France, and I want to make the first impressions attractive. I've a notion I can settle her down near here; and I want her to come in a good temper; for, between ourselves, my dear, she is a little, leetle wilful. You need not mention this to your papa."
"It's really impressive that you have those feelings, I’m sure. But don’t you think we can go overboard with sentiment? If we did, we wouldn’t get any new furniture at all and would have to deal with disgusting old stuff. Plus, my dear, Hollingford will seem quite boring to Cynthia after beautiful, lively France, and I want to make the first impression appealing. I have a feeling I can settle her down close by, and I want her to come in a good mood because, just between us, my dear, she can be a bit stubborn. Please don’t mention this to your dad."
"But can't you do Cynthia's room, and not mine? Please let mine alone."
"But can't you take care of Cynthia's room and leave mine alone? Please just let mine be."
"No, indeed! I couldn't agree to that. Only think what would be said of me by everybody; petting my own child and neglecting my husband's! I couldn't bear it."
"No way! I can't agree to that. Just think about what everyone would say about me; spoiling my own child and ignoring my husband's! I couldn't handle it."
"No one need know."
"Nobody has to know."
"In such a tittle-tattle place as Hollingford! Really, Molly, you are either very stupid or very obstinate, or else you don't care what hard things may be said about me: and all for a selfish fancy of your own! No! I owe myself the justice of acting in this matter as I please. Every one shall know I'm not a common stepmother. Every penny I spend on Cynthia I shall spend on you too; so it's no use talking any more about it."
"In a gossip-filled town like Hollingford! Seriously, Molly, you're either really naive or just stubborn, or maybe you don’t care what people say about me, all for your own selfish reasons! No! I have to do what I think is right in this situation. Everyone will see that I’m not a typical stepmother. Every penny I spend on Cynthia, I’ll spend on you too, so there’s no point in discussing it any further."
So Molly's little white dimity bed, her old-fashioned chest of drawers, and her other cherished relics of her mother's maiden-days, were consigned to the lumber-room; and after a while, when Cynthia and her great French boxes had come home, the old furniture that had filled up the space required for the fresh importation of trunks, disappeared likewise into the same room.
So Molly's little white dimity bed, her old-fashioned dresser, and her other beloved keepsakes from her mother's younger days were sent to the storage room; and after a while, when Cynthia and her big French trunks came home, the old furniture that had taken up space for the new arrival of trunks also disappeared into the same room.
All this time the family at the Towers had been absent; Lady Cumnor had been ordered to Bath for the early part of the winter, and her family were with her there. On dull rainy days, Mrs. Gibson used to bethink her of missing "the Cumnors," for so she had taken to calling them since her position had become more independent of theirs. It marked a distinction between her intimacy in the family, and the reverential manner in which the townspeople were accustomed to speak of "the earl and the countess." Both Lady Cumnor and Lady Harriet wrote to their "dear Clare" from time to time. The former had generally some commissions that she wished to have executed at the Towers, or in the town; and no one could do them so well as Clare, who was acquainted with all the tastes and ways of the countess. These commissions were the cause of various bills for flys and cars from the George Inn. Mr. Gibson pointed out this consequence to his wife; but she, in return, bade him remark that a present of game was pretty sure to follow upon the satisfactory execution of Lady Cumnor's wishes. Somehow, Mr. Gibson did not quite like this consequence either; but he was silent about it, at any rate. Lady Harriet's letters were short and amusing. She had that sort of regard for her old governess which prompted her to write from time to time, and to feel glad when the half-voluntary task was accomplished. So there was no real outpouring of confidence, but enough news of the family and gossip of the place she was in, as she thought would make Clare feel that she was not forgotten by her former pupils, intermixed with moderate but sincere expressions of regard. How those letters were quoted and referred to by Mrs. Gibson in her conversations with the Hollingford ladies! She had found out their effect at Ashcombe; and it was not less at Hollingford. But she was rather perplexed at kindly messages to Molly, and at inquiries as to how the Miss Brownings liked the tea she had sent; and Molly had first to explain, and then to narrate at full length, all the occurrences of the afternoon at Ashcombe Manor-house, and Lady Harriet's subsequent call upon her at Miss Brownings'.
All this time, the family at the Towers had been away; Lady Cumnor had been sent to Bath for the early part of the winter, and her family was with her there. On dull rainy days, Mrs. Gibson often thought about how much she missed "the Cumnors," as she had taken to calling them since her situation had become more independent of theirs. It marked a difference between her closeness to the family and the respectful way the townspeople typically spoke about "the earl and the countess." Both Lady Cumnor and Lady Harriet would write to their "dear Clare" from time to time. The former usually had various tasks she wanted Clare to take care of at the Towers or in town, and no one could do them as well as Clare, who knew all the tastes and preferences of the countess. These tasks led to multiple bills for carriages and taxis from the George Inn. Mr. Gibson pointed this out to his wife, but she reminded him that a gift of game was likely to follow the successful completion of Lady Cumnor's wishes. Somehow, Mr. Gibson wasn’t entirely comfortable with this outcome either, but he stayed quiet about it. Lady Harriet's letters were short and entertaining. She had a warm regard for her former governess that led her to write occasionally, feeling pleased when she fulfilled that half-voluntary task. So, there wasn't a real outpouring of trust but enough family news and local gossip to remind Clare that she wasn’t forgotten by her former pupils, mixed with moderate but genuine expressions of affection. Mrs. Gibson would often quote and reference those letters in her conversations with the ladies of Hollingford! She had recognized their impact at Ashcombe, and it was no less at Hollingford. However, she was a bit puzzled by the kind messages for Molly and questions about what the Miss Brownings thought of the tea she had sent; so Molly had to explain first and then recount in detail all the events of the afternoon at Ashcombe Manor-house and Lady Harriet's subsequent visit to her at the Miss Brownings'.
"What nonsense!" said Mrs. Gibson, with some annoyance. "Lady Harriet only went to see you out of a desire of amusement. She would only make fun of Miss Brownings, and those two will be quoting her and talking about her, just as if she was their intimate friend."
"What nonsense!" Mrs. Gibson said, a bit annoyed. "Lady Harriet only visited you for a bit of entertainment. She'll just make fun of Miss Brownings, and those two will end up quoting her and talking about her as if she were their close friend."
"I don't think she did make fun of them. She really seemed as if she had been very kind."
"I don't think she was making fun of them. She genuinely seemed like she was being very kind."
"And you suppose you know her ways better than I do who have known her these fifteen years? I tell you she turns every one into ridicule who does not belong to her set. Why, she used always to speak of Miss Brownings as 'Pecksy and Flapsy.'"
"And you think you know her better than I do, someone who has known her for fifteen years? I'm telling you, she mocks anyone who isn't in her circle. She always used to call Miss Brownings 'Pecksy and Flapsy.'"
"She promised me she would not," said Molly driven to bay.
"She promised me she wouldn't," said Molly, feeling cornered.
"Promised you!—Lady Harriet? What do you mean?"
"Promised you!—Lady Harriet? What are you talking about?"
"Only—she spoke of them as Pecksy and Flapsy—and when she talked of coming to call on me at their house, I asked her not to come if she was going to—to make fun of them."
"Only—she referred to them as Pecksy and Flapsy—and when she mentioned visiting me at their place, I asked her not to come if she was going to—make fun of them."
"Upon my word! with all my long acquaintance with Lady Harriet, I should never have ventured on such impertinence."
"Honestly! With all my time knowing Lady Harriet, I would never have dared to be so rude."
"I didn't mean it as impertinence," said Molly sturdily. "And I don't think Lady Harriet took it as such."
"I didn't mean it to be rude," Molly said firmly. "And I don't think Lady Harriet saw it that way."
"You can't know anything about it. She can put on any kind of manner."
"You can't know anything about it. She can act however she wants."
Just then Squire Hamley came in. It was his first call; and Mrs. Gibson gave him a graceful welcome, and was quite ready to accept his apology for its tardiness, and to assure him that she quite understood the pressure of business on every land-owner who farmed his own estate. But no such apology was made. He shook her hand heartily, as a mark of congratulation on her good fortune in having secured such a prize as his friend Gibson, but said nothing about his long neglect of duty. Molly, who by this time knew the few strong expressions of his countenance well, was sure that something was the matter, and that he was very much disturbed. He hardly attended to Mrs. Gibson's fluent opening of conversation, for she had already determined to make a favourable impression on the father of the handsome young man who was heir to an estate, besides his own personal agreeableness; but he turned to Molly and, addressing her, said—almost in a low voice, as if he was making a confidence to her that he did not intend Mrs. Gibson to hear,—
Just then, Squire Hamley walked in. It was his first visit, and Mrs. Gibson welcomed him warmly, ready to accept his late arrival and assure him that she completely understood the demands of running a land estate. But he didn’t offer any such apology. He shook her hand firmly, congratulating her on her good fortune in having secured a friend like Gibson, but he didn’t mention his long absence. Molly, by now familiar with the few strong expressions on his face, sensed that something was bothering him and that he was quite upset. He barely paid attention to Mrs. Gibson’s smooth attempt to start a conversation, as she had already decided to make a good impression on the father of the charming young man who would inherit an estate, along with his own likability; but he turned to Molly and, speaking almost in a whisper as if sharing a secret meant only for her, said—
"Molly, we are all wrong at home! Osborne has lost the fellowship at Trinity he went back to try for. Then he has gone and failed miserably in his degree, after all that he said, and that his mother said; and I, like a fool, went and boasted about my clever son. I can't understand it. I never expected anything extraordinary from Roger; but Osborne—! And then it has thrown madam into one of her bad fits of illness; and she seems to have a fancy for you, child! Your father came to see her this morning. Poor thing, she's very poorly, I'm afraid; and she told him how she should like to have you about her, and he said I might fetch you. You'll come, won't you, my dear? She's not a poor woman, such as many people think it's the only charity to be kind to, but she's just as forlorn of woman's care as if she was poor—worse, I daresay."
"Molly, everything at home is a mess! Osborne didn’t get the fellowship at Trinity that he tried for. Then he went ahead and completely bombed his degree, after everything he said, and everything his mother said; and I, like an idiot, went and bragged about my smart son. I just don’t get it. I never expected anything amazing from Roger; but Osborne—! And now it's pushed your mother into one of her bad health spells; and she seems to really like you, kid! Your dad visited her this morning. Poor thing, she's feeling really unwell, I'm afraid; and she told him how much she would love to have you around, and he said I could bring you. You will come, won't you, my dear? She's not a poor woman, like many people think it's the only charity to help, but she's just as much in need of a woman's care as if she were poor—worse, I would say."
"I'll be ready in ten minutes," said Molly, much touched by the squire's words and manner, never thinking of asking her stepmother's consent, now that she had heard that her father had given his. As she rose to leave the room, Mrs. Gibson, who had only half heard what the Squire had said, and was a little affronted at the exclusiveness of his confidence, said,—"My dear, where are you going?"
"I'll be ready in ten minutes," said Molly, deeply moved by the squire's words and demeanor, not even considering asking her stepmother for permission now that she knew her father had already given his. As she stood up to leave the room, Mrs. Gibson, who had only partially caught what the Squire had said and felt a bit slighted by his exclusive confidence, asked, "My dear, where are you going?"
"Mrs. Hamley wants me, and papa says I may go," said Molly; and almost at the same time the Squire replied,—
"Mrs. Hamley wants me, and Dad says I can go," said Molly; and almost at the same time the Squire replied, —
"My wife is ill, and as she's very fond of your daughter, she begged Mr. Gibson to allow her to come to the Hall for a little while, and he kindly said she might, and I'm come to fetch her."
"My wife is sick, and since she’s really fond of your daughter, she asked Mr. Gibson to let her come to the Hall for a bit, and he kindly agreed, so I’m here to take her."
"Stop a minute, darling," said Mrs. Gibson to Molly—a slight cloud over her countenance, in spite of her caressing word. "I am sure dear papa quite forgot that you were to go out with me to-night, to visit people," continued she, addressing herself to the Squire, "with whom I am quite unacquainted—and it is very uncertain if Mr. Gibson can return in time to accompany me—so, you see, I cannot allow Molly to go with you."
"Hold on for a second, sweetheart," Mrs. Gibson said to Molly, a hint of worry on her face despite her affectionate tone. "I’m sure dear Dad completely forgot that you were supposed to go out with me tonight to visit some people I don’t really know—and it’s unclear if Mr. Gibson will get back in time to join me—so, you see, I can’t let Molly go with you."
"I shouldn't have thought it would have signified. Brides are always brides, I suppose; and it's their part to be timid; but I shouldn't have thought it—in this case. And my wife sets her heart on things, as sick people do. Well, Molly" (in a louder tone, for these foregoing sentences were spoken sotto voce), "we must put it off till to-morrow: and it's our loss, not yours," he continued, as he saw the reluctance with which she slowly returned to her place. "You'll be as gay as can be to-night, I daresay—"
"I shouldn't have thought it would matter. Brides are always brides, I guess; and it's their role to feel nervous; but I wouldn't have expected it—in this situation. And my wife focuses on things, just like sick people do. Well, Molly" (in a louder tone, as the previous sentences were spoken sotto voce), "we have to put it off until tomorrow: and it's our loss, not yours," he continued, noticing how reluctantly she slowly returned to her seat. "You’ll be as cheerful as can be tonight, I bet—"
"No, I shall not," broke in Molly. "I never wanted to go, and now I shall want it less than ever."
"No, I won't," interrupted Molly. "I never wanted to go, and now I want it even less."
"Hush, my dear," said Mrs. Gibson; and, addressing the Squire, she added, "The visiting here is not all one could wish for so young a girl—no young people, no dances, nothing of gaiety; but it is wrong in you, Molly, to speak against such kind friends of your father's as I understand these Cockerells are. Don't give so bad an impression of yourself to the kind Squire."
"Hush, my dear," Mrs. Gibson said. Turning to the Squire, she added, "The visits here aren’t ideal for such a young girl—no other young people, no dances, nothing fun; but it’s not right for you, Molly, to speak negatively about your father’s good friends, the Cockerells, as I understand they are. Don’t leave such a bad impression on the kind Squire."
"Let her alone! let her alone!" quoth he. "I see what she means. She'd rather come and be in my wife's sick-room than go out for this visit to-night. Is there no way of getting her off?"
"Leave her alone! Leave her alone!" he said. "I get what she means. She'd rather be in my wife's sick room than go out for this visit tonight. Is there any way to get her out of it?"
"None whatever," said Mrs. Gibson. "An engagement is an engagement with me; and I consider that she is not only engaged to Mrs. Cockerell, but to me—bound to accompany me, in my husband's absence."
"Not at all," said Mrs. Gibson. "An engagement means something to me; I believe she’s not only engaged to Mrs. Cockerell but also to me—obligated to be with me in my husband's absence."
The Squire was put out; and when he was put out he had a trick of placing his hands on his knees and whistling softly to himself. Molly knew this phase of his displeasure, and only hoped he would confine himself to this wordless expression of annoyance. It was pretty hard work for her to keep the tears out of her eyes; and she endeavoured to think of something else, rather than dwell on regrets and annoyances. She heard Mrs. Gibson talking on in a sweet monotone, and wished to attend to what she was saying, but the Squire's visible annoyance struck sharper on her mind. At length, after a pause of silence, he started up, and said,—
The Squire was upset; and when he was upset, he had a habit of placing his hands on his knees and whistling softly to himself. Molly recognized this sign of his displeasure and just hoped he would stick to this silent expression of annoyance. It was pretty tough for her to hold back her tears, and she tried to think of something else instead of focusing on regrets and frustrations. She heard Mrs. Gibson talking on in a soothing monotone and wanted to pay attention to what she was saying, but the Squire's obvious annoyance weighed heavily on her mind. Finally, after a moment of silence, he jumped up and said,—
"Well! it's no use. Poor madam; she won't like it. She'll be disappointed! But it's but for one evening!—but for one evening! She may come to-morrow, mayn't she? Or will the dissipation of such an evening as she describes, be too much for her?"
"Well! There's no point. Poor lady; she won't be happy. She'll be let down! But it's just for one evening!—just for one evening! She can come tomorrow, right? Or will the excitement of a night like she describes be too much for her?"
There was a touch of savage irony in his manner which frightened Mrs. Gibson into good behaviour.
There was a hint of brutal irony in his demeanor that made Mrs. Gibson act properly.
"She shall be ready at any time you name. I am so sorry: my foolish shyness is in fault, I believe; but still you must acknowledge that an engagement is an engagement."
"She will be ready whenever you say. I'm really sorry; I think my silly shyness is to blame, but you have to admit that an engagement is an engagement."
"Did I ever say an engagement was an elephant, madam? However, there's no use saying any more about it, or I shall forget my manners. I'm an old tyrant, and she—lying there in bed, poor girl—has always given me my own way. So you'll excuse me, Mrs. Gibson, won't you; and let Molly come along with me at ten to-morrow morning?"
"Did I ever say an engagement was a big deal, ma'am? Anyway, there's no point in going on about it, or I’ll lose my composure. I can be a bit bossy, and she—lying there in bed, poor thing—has always let me have my way. So you'll forgive me, Mrs. Gibson, right? And can Molly come with me at ten tomorrow morning?"
"Certainly," said Mrs. Gibson, smiling. But when his back was turned, she said to Molly,—
"Sure," said Mrs. Gibson, smiling. But when his back was turned, she said to Molly—
"Now, my dear, I must never have you exposing me to the ill-manners of such a man again! I don't call him a squire; I call him a boor, or a yeoman at best. You must not go on accepting or rejecting invitations as if you were an independent young lady, Molly. Pay me the respect of a reference to my wishes another time, if you please, my dear!"
"Now, my dear, please don’t ever put me in a position where I have to deal with the rudeness of that man again! I don't consider him a squire; I think he's just a boor, or a farmer at best. You shouldn't keep accepting or turning down invitations as if you're an independent young lady, Molly. Show me some respect by considering my wishes next time, if you please, my dear!"
"Papa had said I might go," said Molly, choking a little.
"Dad said I could go," Molly said, choking up a bit.
"As I am now your mamma, your references must be to me, for the future. But as you are to go you may as well look well dressed. I will lend you my new shawl for this visit, if you like it, and my set of green ribbons. I am always indulgent when proper respect is paid to me. And in such a house as Hamley Hall, no one can tell who may be coming and going, even if there is sickness in the family."
"As I am now your mom, you need to refer to me from now on. But since you’re leaving, you might as well look nice. I’ll lend you my new shawl for this visit if you like it, along with my set of green ribbons. I’m always lenient when I’m treated with proper respect. And in a house like Hamley Hall, you never know who might be coming or going, even if there’s illness in the family."
"Thank you. But I don't want the shawl and the ribbons, please: there will be nobody there except the family. There never is, I think; and now that she is so ill"—Molly was on the point of crying at the thought of her friend lying ill and lonely, and looking for her arrival. Moreover, she was sadly afraid lest the Squire had gone off with the idea that she did not want to come—that she preferred that stupid, stupid party at the Cockerells'. Mrs. Gibson, too, was sorry; she had an uncomfortable consciousness of having given way to temper before a stranger, and a stranger, too, whose good opinion she had meant to cultivate; and she was also annoyed at Molly's tearful face.
"Thanks. But I don’t want the shawl and the ribbons, please: there will be no one there except family. There never is, I think; and now that she’s so sick"—Molly was about to cry at the thought of her friend being ill and lonely, waiting for her arrival. Also, she was really worried that the Squire had left with the impression that she didn’t want to come—that she preferred that dumb, dumb party at the Cockerells’. Mrs. Gibson also felt bad; she was uncomfortably aware of having lost her temper in front of a stranger, especially one whose good opinion she had wanted to earn; and she was also annoyed at Molly’s tearful expression.
"What can I do for you, to bring you back into good temper?" she said. "First, you insist upon your knowing Lady Harriet better than I do—I, who have known her for eighteen or nineteen years at least. Then you jump at invitations without ever consulting me, or thinking of how awkward it would be for me to go stumping into a drawing-room all by myself; following my new name, too, which always makes me feel uncomfortable, it is such a sad come-down after Kirkpatrick! And then, when I offer you some of the prettiest things I have got, you say it does not signify how you are dressed. What can I do to please you, Molly? I, who delight in nothing more than peace in a family, to see you sitting there with despair upon your face?"
"What can I do to cheer you up?" she said. "First, you claim to know Lady Harriet better than I do—I’ve known her for at least eighteen or nineteen years. Then you rush into invitations without ever asking me or considering how awkward it would be for me to walk into a drawing-room completely alone; especially with my new name, which always makes me feel uneasy—it's such a letdown after Kirkpatrick! And when I offer you some of my favorite things, you say it doesn't matter how you're dressed. What can I do to make you happy, Molly? I, who value nothing more than family harmony, hate to see you sitting there looking so hopeless?"
Molly could stand it no longer; she went upstairs to her own room—her own smart new room, which hardly yet seemed a familiar place; and began to cry so heartily and for so long a time, that she stopped at length for very weariness. She thought of Mrs. Hamley wearying for her; of the old Hall whose very quietness might become oppressive to an ailing person; of the trust the Squire had had in her that she would come off directly with him. And all this oppressed her much more than the querulousness of her stepmother's words.
Molly couldn’t take it anymore; she went upstairs to her own room—her stylish new room, which still didn’t feel familiar; and she started to cry so hard and for so long that she eventually stopped out of sheer exhaustion. She thought about Mrs. Hamley worrying about her; about the old Hall, where the silence could feel stifling to someone who was unwell; about the trust the Squire had placed in her that she would come back to him right away. All of this weighed on her much more than the complaints of her stepmother.
CHAPTER XVII.
TROUBLE AT HAMLEY HALL.
If Molly thought that peace dwelt perpetually at Hamley Hall she was sorely mistaken. Something was out of tune in the whole establishment; and, for a very unusual thing, the common irritation seemed to have produced a common bond. All the servants were old in their places, and were told by some one of the family, or gathered, from the unheeded conversation carried on before them, everything that affected master or mistress or either of the young gentlemen. Any one of them could have told Molly that the grievance which lay at the root of everything, was the amount of the bills run up by Osborne at Cambridge, and which, now that all chance of his obtaining a fellowship was over, came pouring down upon the Squire. But Molly, confident of being told by Mrs. Hamley herself anything which she wished her to hear, encouraged no confidences from any one else.
If Molly thought that peace was always present at Hamley Hall, she was very wrong. Something felt off in the entire household; surprisingly, the shared frustration seemed to have created a sense of unity. All the servants had been around for a long time and were informed by someone in the family or picked up on the conversations happening around them about everything related to the master, mistress, or either of the young gentlemen. Any one of them could have told Molly that the main issue causing all the trouble was the amount of money that Osborne had spent at Cambridge, and now that his chance of getting a fellowship was gone, the bills were piling up for the Squire. But Molly, confident that Mrs. Hamley would share anything she wanted her to know, didn’t encourage anyone else to confide in her.
She was struck with the change in "madam's" look as soon as she caught sight of her in the darkened room, lying on the sofa in her dressing-room, all dressed in white, which almost rivalled the white wanness of her face. The Squire ushered Molly in with,—
She was taken aback by the change in "madam's" appearance as soon as she saw her in the dim room, lying on the sofa in her dressing room, completely dressed in white, which nearly matched the pale whiteness of her face. The Squire welcomed Molly in with,
"Here she is at last!" and Molly had scarcely imagined that he had so much variety in the tones of his voice—the beginning of the sentence was spoken in a loud congratulatory manner, while the last words were scarcely audible. He had seen the death-like pallor on his wife's face; not a new sight, and one which had been presented to him gradually enough, but which was now always giving him a fresh shock. It was a lovely tranquil winter's day; every branch and every twig on the trees and shrubs was glittering with drops of the sun-melted hoar-frost; a robin was perched on a holly-bush, piping cheerily; but the blinds were down, and out of Mrs. Hamley's windows nothing of all this was to be seen. There was even a large screen placed between her and the wood-fire, to keep off that cheerful blaze. Mrs. Hamley stretched out one hand to Molly, and held hers firm; with the other she shaded her eyes.
"Here she is at last!" Molly barely imagined he had this much variation in his voice—the start of the sentence was loud and congratulatory, while the last words were barely audible. He had noticed the deathly pallor on his wife's face; it wasn't new to him and had come on gradually enough, but it still hit him with fresh shock each time. It was a beautiful, calm winter day; every branch and twig on the trees and shrubs sparkled with drops of the sun-melted frost; a robin sat on a holly bush, singing cheerfully; but the blinds were closed, and nothing of all this could be seen from Mrs. Hamley's windows. There was even a large screen placed between her and the fireplace to block the cheerful blaze. Mrs. Hamley reached out one hand to Molly and held hers tightly; with the other, she shaded her eyes.
"She is not so well this morning," said the Squire, shaking his head. "But never fear, my dear one; here's the doctor's daughter, nearly as good as the doctor himself. Have you had your medicine? Your beef-tea?" he continued, going about on heavy tiptoe and peeping into every empty cup and glass. Then he returned to the sofa; looked at her for a minute or two, and then softly kissed her, and told Molly he would leave her in charge.
"She isn't feeling too great this morning," said the Squire, shaking his head. "But don't worry, my dear; here comes the doctor's daughter, almost as good as the doctor himself. Have you taken your medicine? Your beef tea?" he asked, tiptoeing around and checking every empty cup and glass. Then he went back to the sofa, looked at her for a minute or two, gently kissed her, and told Molly he would leave her in charge.
As if Mrs. Hamley was afraid of Molly's remarks or questions, she began in her turn a hasty system of interrogatories.
As if Mrs. Hamley was worried about Molly's comments or questions, she quickly started firing off her own questions.
"Now, dear child, tell me all; it's no breach of confidence, for I shan't mention it again, and I shan't be here long. How does it all go on—the new mother, the good resolutions? let me help you if I can. I think with a girl I could have been of use—a mother does not know boys. But tell me anything you like and will; don't be afraid of details."
"Now, dear child, tell me everything; it’s not a breach of trust, because I won’t bring it up again, and I won’t be here long. How is everything going—the new mother, the good intentions? Let me help you if I can. I think I could have been helpful with a girl—a mother doesn’t understand boys. But share whatever you want; don’t be afraid of the details."
Even with Molly's small experience of illness she saw how much of restless fever there was in this speech; and instinct, or some such gift, prompted her to tell a long story of many things—the wedding-day, her visit to Miss Brownings', the new furniture, Lady Harriet, &c., all in an easy flow of talk which was very soothing to Mrs. Hamley, inasmuch as it gave her something to think about beyond her own immediate sorrows. But Molly did not speak of her own grievances, nor of the new domestic relationship. Mrs. Hamley noticed this.
Even with Molly's limited experience of illness, she recognized the underlying restlessness in Mrs. Hamley's speech. Something instinctive prompted her to share a long story about various topics—the wedding day, her visit to Miss Brownings', the new furniture, Lady Harriet, etc.—all in a smooth flow of conversation that was very comforting for Mrs. Hamley, as it provided her with thoughts beyond her own immediate troubles. However, Molly didn’t mention her own issues or the new family dynamic. Mrs. Hamley noticed this.
"And you and Mrs. Gibson get on happily together?"
"And you and Mrs. Gibson get along well together?"
"Not always," said Molly. "You know we didn't know much of each other before we were put to live together."
"Not always," Molly said. "You know we didn't really know much about each other before we had to live together."
"I didn't like what the Squire told me last night. He was very angry."
"I didn't like what the Squire said to me last night. He was really angry."
That sore had not yet healed over; but Molly resolutely kept silence, beating her brains to think of some other subject of conversation.
That wound hadn't healed yet; but Molly stubbornly stayed quiet, racking her brain to think of something else to talk about.
"Ah! I see, Molly," said Mrs. Hamley; "you won't tell me your sorrows, and yet, perhaps, I could have done you some good."
"Ah! I get it, Molly," said Mrs. Hamley. "You won't share your troubles with me, and yet, maybe I could have helped you."
"I don't like," said Molly, in a low voice. "I think papa wouldn't like it. And, besides, you have helped me so much—you and Mr. Roger Hamley. I often think of the things he said; they come in so usefully, and are such a strength to me."
"I don’t like it," said Molly quietly. "I think Dad wouldn't like it either. Plus, you’ve helped me so much—you and Mr. Roger Hamley. I often think about the things he said; they are really helpful and give me a lot of strength."
"Ah, Roger! yes. He is to be trusted. Oh, Molly! I've a great deal to say to you myself, only not now. I must have my medicine and try to go to sleep. Good girl! You are stronger than I am, and can do without sympathy."
"Ah, Roger! Yes, he can be trusted. Oh, Molly! I have a lot to talk to you about, but not right now. I need to take my medicine and try to sleep. Good girl! You're stronger than I am and can manage without sympathy."
Molly was taken to another room; the maid who conducted her to it told her that Mrs. Hamley had not wished her to have her nights disturbed, as they might very probably have been if she had been in her former sleeping-room. In the afternoon Mrs. Hamley sent for her, and with the want of reticence common to invalids, especially to those suffering from long and depressing maladies, she told Molly of the family distress and disappointment.
Molly was taken to another room; the maid who brought her there told her that Mrs. Hamley didn’t want her to have her nights disturbed, as they likely would have been if she had stayed in her old bedroom. In the afternoon, Mrs. Hamley called for her, and with the lack of discretion typical of sick people, especially those dealing with long and difficult illnesses, she shared with Molly the family’s troubles and disappointments.
She made Molly sit down near her on a little stool, and, holding her hand, and looking into her eyes to catch her spoken sympathy from their expression quicker than she could from her words, she said,—
She made Molly sit next to her on a small stool, and, holding her hand and looking into her eyes to pick up her unspoken sympathy from their expression faster than she could from her words, she said—
"Osborne has so disappointed us! I cannot understand it yet. And the Squire was so terribly angry! I cannot think how all the money was spent—advances through money-lenders, besides bills. The Squire does not show me how angry he is now, because he's afraid of another attack; but I know how angry he is. You see he has been spending ever so much money in reclaiming that land at Upton Common, and is very hard pressed himself. But it would have doubled the value of the estate, and so we never thought anything of economies which would benefit Osborne in the long run. And now the Squire says he must mortgage some of the land; and you can't think how it cuts him to the heart. He sold a great deal of timber to send the two boys to college. Osborne—oh! what a dear, innocent boy he was: he was the heir, you know; and he was so clever, every one said he was sure of honours and a fellowship, and I don't know what all; and he did get a scholarship, and then all went wrong. I don't know how. That is the worst. Perhaps the Squire wrote too angrily, and that stopped up confidence. But he might have told me. He would have done, I think, Molly, if he had been here, face to face with me. But the Squire, in his anger, told him not to show his face at home till he had paid off the debts he had incurred out of his allowance. Out of two hundred and fifty a year to pay off more than nine hundred, one way or another! And not to come home till then! Perhaps Roger will have debts too! He had but two hundred; but, then, he was not the eldest son. The Squire has given orders that the men are to be turned off the draining-works; and I lie awake thinking of their poor families this wintry weather. But what shall we do? I've never been strong, and, perhaps, I've been extravagant in my habits; and there were family traditions as to expenditure, and the reclaiming of this land. Oh! Molly, Osborne was such a sweet little baby, and such a loving boy: so clever, too! You know I read you some of his poetry: now, could a person who wrote like that do anything very wrong? And yet I'm afraid he has."
"Osborne has really let us down! I can't understand it yet. And the Squire was extremely angry! I can't figure out how all the money was spent—borrowed from moneylenders, plus bills. The Squire doesn't show me how upset he is now because he's scared of another breakdown; but I know how furious he is. You see, he’s been spending a huge amount on reclaiming that land at Upton Common, and he's under a lot of pressure himself. But it would have doubled the estate's value, so we never worried about the expenses that would benefit Osborne in the long run. And now the Squire says he has to mortgage some of the land; you can't imagine how much that hurts him. He sold a lot of timber to send the two boys to college. Osborne—oh! what a sweet, innocent boy he was: he was the heir, you know; and he was so clever, everyone said he was sure to get honors and a fellowship, and all that; and he did get a scholarship, and then everything went wrong. I don’t know how. That’s the worst part. Maybe the Squire wrote too angrily, and that broke the trust. But he could have told me. I believe he would have, Molly, if he had been here, face to face with me. But the Squire, in his anger, told him not to show his face at home until he paid off the debts he ran up from his allowance. Out of two hundred and fifty a year, to pay off more than nine hundred, one way or another! And not to come home until then! Maybe Roger will have debts too! He only had two hundred; but then, he wasn't the eldest son. The Squire has ordered the men to be let go from the draining works; and I lie awake thinking about their poor families in this wintry weather. But what shall we do? I've never been strong, and maybe I've been a bit extravagant in my habits; and there were family traditions around spending and reclaiming this land. Oh! Molly, Osborne was such a sweet little baby, and such a loving boy: so clever, too! You know I read you some of his poetry: now, could a person who wrote like that do anything really wrong? And yet I'm afraid he has."
"Don't you know, at all, how the money has gone?" asked Molly.
"Don't you have any idea where the money went?" asked Molly.
"No! not at all. That's the sting. There are tailors' bills, and bills for book-binding and wine and pictures—those come to four or five hundred; and though this expenditure is extraordinary—inexplicable to such simple folk as we are—yet it may be only the luxury of the present day. But the money for which he will give no account,—of which, indeed, we only heard through the Squire's London agents, who found out that certain disreputable attorneys were making inquiries as to the entail of the estate;—oh! Molly, worse than all—I don't know how to bring myself to tell you—as to the age and health of the Squire, his dear father"—(she began to sob almost hysterically; yet she would go on talking, in spite of Molly's efforts to stop her)—"who held him in his arms, and blessed him, even before I had kissed him; and thought always so much of him as his heir and first-born darling. How he has loved him! How I have loved him! I sometimes have thought of late that we've almost done that good Roger injustice."
"No! Not at all. That's the issue. There are bills from tailors, and charges for bookbinding, wine, and art—those add up to four or five hundred; and even though this spending is outrageous—unfathomable to ordinary people like us—it might just be part of modern luxury. But the money he won’t account for,—which we only learned about through the Squire's London agents, who discovered that some shady attorneys were looking into the estate’s inheritance;—oh! Molly, worse than everything—I can't even begin to tell you—regarding the age and health of the Squire, his dear father"—(she started sobbing almost uncontrollably; yet she continued talking, despite Molly's attempts to quiet her)—"who held him in his arms and blessed him, even before I had kissed him; and always thought so highly of him as his heir and firstborn darling. How he has loved him! How I have loved him! I have started to think lately that we've done that good Roger an injustice."
"No! I'm sure you've not: only look at the way he loves you. Why, you are his first thought: he may not speak about it, but any one may see it. And dear, dear Mrs. Hamley," said Molly, determined to say out all that was in her mind now that she had once got the word, "don't you think that it would be better not to misjudge Mr. Osborne Hamley? We don't know what he has done with the money: he is so good (is he not?) that he may have wanted it to relieve some poor person—some tradesman, for instance, pressed by creditors—some—"
“No! I’m sure you haven’t: just look at how he loves you. You’re his first thought. He might not say it, but anyone can see it. And dear, dear Mrs. Hamley,” said Molly, determined to express everything she was thinking now that she had started, “don’t you think it would be better not to judge Mr. Osborne Hamley too harshly? We don’t know what he did with the money: he’s so good (isn’t he?) that he might have wanted it to help someone in need—maybe a tradesman struggling with creditors—some—
"You forget, dear," said Mrs. Hamley, smiling a little at the girl's impetuous romance, but sighing the next instant, "that all the other bills come from tradesmen, who complain piteously of being kept out of their money."
"You forget, dear," Mrs. Hamley said, smiling slightly at the girl's impulsive romantic notions, but sighing a moment later, "that all the other bills come from vendors, who complain sadly about not getting paid."
Molly was nonplussed for the moment; but then she said,—
Molly was momentarily taken aback; but then she said,—
"I daresay they imposed upon him. I'm sure I've heard stories of young men being made regular victims of by the shopkeepers in great towns."
"I bet they took advantage of him. I'm sure I've heard stories of young men regularly getting exploited by shopkeepers in big cities."
"You're a great darling, child," said Mrs. Hamley, comforted by Molly's strong partisanship, unreasonable and ignorant though it was.
"You're a wonderful darling, sweetheart," said Mrs. Hamley, reassured by Molly's strong support, even if it was misguided and naive.
"And, besides," continued Molly, "some one must be acting wrongly in Osborne's—Mr. Osborne Hamley's, I mean—I can't help saying Osborne sometimes, but, indeed, I always think of him as Mr. Osborne—"
"And, besides," continued Molly, "someone has to be doing something wrong in Osborne's—Mr. Osborne Hamley's, I mean—I can't help saying Osborne sometimes, but, honestly, I always think of him as Mr. Osborne—
"Never mind, Molly, what you call him; only go on talking. It seems to do me good to hear the hopeful side taken. The Squire has been so hurt and displeased: strange-looking men coming into the neighbourhood, too, questioning the tenants, and grumbling about the last fall of timber, as if they were calculating on the Squire's death."
"Don't worry about what name you give him, Molly; just keep talking. It actually makes me feel better to hear a positive perspective. The Squire has been really upset and annoyed: there are these odd-looking guys showing up in the area, asking questions to the tenants, and complaining about the last timber harvest, as if they're plotting on the Squire's death."
"That's just what I was going to speak about. Doesn't it show that they are bad men? and would bad men scruple to impose upon him, and to tell lies in his name, and to ruin him?"
"That's exactly what I was going to talk about. Doesn't it show that they're bad people? And would bad people hesitate to take advantage of him, lie in his name, and ruin him?"
"Don't you see, you only make him out weak, instead of wicked?"
"Don’t you see? You only make him seem weak instead of evil."
"Yes; perhaps I do. But I don't think he is weak. You know yourself, dear Mrs. Hamley, how very clever he really is. Besides, I would rather he was weak than wicked. Weak people may find themselves all at once strong in heaven, when they see things quite clearly; but I don't think the wicked will turn themselves into virtuous people all at once."
"Yes; maybe I do. But I don’t think he’s weak. You know, dear Mrs. Hamley, how very smart he really is. Besides, I’d rather he be weak than evil. Weak people might suddenly become strong in heaven when they see things clearly; but I don’t think the wicked will just turn into virtuous people out of the blue."
"I think I've been very weak, Molly," said Mrs. Hamley, stroking Molly's curls affectionately. "I've made such an idol of my beautiful Osborne; and he turns out to have feet of clay, not strong enough to stand firm on the ground. And that's the best view of his conduct, too!"
"I think I've been really weak, Molly," said Mrs. Hamley, gently stroking Molly's curls. "I've put my beautiful Osborne on such a pedestal; and he turns out to have feet of clay, not strong enough to stay grounded. And that's the most generous way to look at his behavior, too!"
What with his anger against his son, and his anxiety about his wife; the difficulty of raising the money immediately required, and his irritation at the scarce-concealed inquiries made by strangers as to the value of his property, the poor Squire was in a sad state. He was angry and impatient with every one who came near him; and then was depressed at his own violent temper and unjust words. The old servants, who, perhaps, cheated him in many small things, were beautifully patient under his upbraidings. They could understand bursts of passion, and knew the cause of his variable moods as well as he did himself. The butler, who was accustomed to argue with his master about every fresh direction as to his work, now nudged Molly at dinner-time to make her eat of some dish which she had just been declining, and explained his conduct afterwards as follows:—
With his anger towards his son and worry about his wife, the struggle to raise the money he urgently needed, and his annoyance at the not-so-hidden questions from strangers about the value of his property, the poor Squire was in a terrible state. He was angry and impatient with everyone around him, only to feel down about his own bad temper and unfair words afterward. The old servants, who might have cheated him out of a few small things, were remarkably patient with his outbursts. They understood sudden fits of anger, and they were well aware of the reasons behind his changing moods, just as he was. The butler, who usually debated every new instruction from his master, now nudged Molly at dinner to get her to eat something she had just refused, explaining his behavior afterward as follows:—
"You see, miss, me and cook had planned a dinner as would tempt master to eat; but when you say, 'No, thank you,' when I hand you anything, master never so much as looks at it. But if you takes a thing, and eats with a relish, why first he waits, and then he looks, and by-and-by he smells; and then he finds out as he's hungry, and falls to eating as natural as a kitten takes to mewing. That's the reason, miss, as I gave you a nudge and a wink, which no one knows better nor me was not manners."
"You see, miss, the cook and I had planned a dinner to tempt the master to eat; but when you say, 'No, thank you,' whenever I offer you something, the master doesn't even glance at it. But if you take something and eat it with enjoyment, he first waits, then looks, and eventually smells it; then he realizes he's hungry and starts eating just like a kitten starts meowing. That's why, miss, I nudged you and winked, which I know wasn’t exactly polite."
Osborne's name was never mentioned during these cheerless meals. The Squire asked Molly questions about Hollingford people, but did not seem much to attend to her answers. He used also to ask her every day how she thought that his wife was; but if Molly told the truth—that every day seemed to make her weaker and weaker—he was almost savage with the girl. He could not bear it; and he would not. Nay, once he was on the point of dismissing Mr. Gibson because he insisted on a consultation with Dr. Nicholls, the great physician of the county.
Osborne's name was never brought up during those gloomy meals. The Squire asked Molly about people in Hollingford, but didn’t seem to pay much attention to her answers. He also asked her every day how he thought his wife was doing; but if Molly told the truth—that each day seemed to make her weaker—he would get almost furious with her. He couldn't handle it, and he wouldn't. Once, he even nearly fired Mr. Gibson because he insisted on consulting Dr. Nicholls, the top doctor in the county.
"It's nonsense thinking her so ill as that—you know it's only the delicacy she's had for years; and if you can't do her any good in such a simple case—no pain—only weakness and nervousness—it is a simple case, eh?—don't look in that puzzled way, man!—you'd better give her up altogether, and I'll take her to Bath or Brighton, or somewhere for change, for in my opinion it's only moping and nervousness."
"It's ridiculous to think she's that sick—you know it's just the delicate condition she's had for years; and if you can't help her in such a straightforward case—no pain—just weakness and anxiety—it really is a straightforward case, right?—don't give me that confused look, man!—you might as well give up on her completely, and I'll take her to Bath or Brighton, or somewhere for a change, because I really think it's just moping and nervousness."
But the Squire's bluff florid face was pinched with anxiety, and worn with the effort of being deaf to the footsteps of fate as he said these words which belied his fears.
But the Squire's robust, red face was tight with worry, and exhausted from trying to ignore the impending doom as he said these words that contradicted his fears.
Mr. Gibson replied very quietly,—
Mr. Gibson replied very softly,—
"I shall go on coming to see her, and I know you'll not forbid my visits. But I shall bring Dr. Nicholls with me the next time I come. I may be mistaken in my treatment; and I wish to God he may say I am mistaken in my apprehensions."
"I'll keep visiting her, and I know you won't stop me from coming. But next time I come, I'll bring Dr. Nicholls with me. I might be wrong in how I'm handling things; and I really hope he tells me I'm wrong about my worries."
"Don't tell me them! I cannot bear them!" cried the Squire. "Of course we must all die; and she must too. But the cleverest doctor in England shan't go about coolly meting out the life of such as her. I daresay I shall die first. I hope I shall. But I'll knock any one down who speaks to me of death sitting within me. And, besides, I think all doctors are ignorant quacks, pretending to knowledge they haven't got. Ay, you may smile at me. I don't care. Unless you can tell me I shall die first, neither you nor your Dr. Nicholls shall come prophesying and croaking about this house."
"Don't tell me about them! I can't stand it!" shouted the Squire. "Of course we all have to die; she does too. But the smartest doctor in England shouldn’t just calmly decide the fate of someone like her. I bet I'll be the one to die first. I hope I will. But I'll knock anyone down who talks to me about death while I'm here. And besides, I think all doctors are clueless frauds, pretending to know things they don’t. Sure, you can smile at me. I don't care. Unless you can tell me that I'll die first, neither you nor Dr. Nicholls is welcome to come here with your predictions and doom and gloom."
Mr. Gibson went away, heavy at heart from the thought of Mrs.
Hamley's approaching death, but thinking little enough of the
Squire's speeches. He had almost forgotten them, in fact, when about
nine o'clock that evening, a groom rode in from Hamley Hall in hot
haste, with a note from the Squire.
Mr. Gibson left feeling sad about Mrs. Hamley's impending death, but he paid little attention to the Squire's speeches. He had mostly forgotten about them when, around nine o'clock that evening, a groom rode in from Hamley Hall in a hurry, carrying a note from the Squire.
Dear Gibson,—
Dear Gibson,
For God's sake forgive me if I was rude to-day. She is much worse. Come and spend the night here. Write for Nicholls, and all the physicians you want. Write before you start off. They may give her ease. There were Whitworth doctors much talked of in my youth for curing people given up by the regular doctors; can't you get one of them? I put myself in your hands. Sometimes I think it is the turning point, and she'll rally after this bout. I trust all to you.
For God's sake, forgive me if I was rude today. She is much worse. Come and spend the night here. Write to Nicholls and all the doctors you want. Write before you head out. They might be able to help her feel better. There were Whitworth doctors who were highly talked about when I was younger for curing people that regular doctors had given up on; can’t you get one of them? I’m putting myself in your hands. Sometimes I think this is the turning point, and she will bounce back after this episode. I trust everything to you.
Yours ever,
Yours always,
R. Hamley.
R. Hamley.
P.S.—Molly is a
treasure.—God help me!
P.S.—Molly is a gem.—God help me!
Of course Mr. Gibson went; for the first time since his marriage cutting short Mrs. Gibson's querulous lamentations over her life, as involved in that of a doctor called out at all hours of day and night.
Of course Mr. Gibson went; for the first time since his marriage, he interrupted Mrs. Gibson's complaints about her life, which was tied to that of a doctor who was called out at all hours of the day and night.
He brought Mrs. Hamley through this attack; and for a day or two the Squire's alarm and gratitude made him docile in Mr. Gibson's hands. Then he returned to the idea of its being a crisis through which his wife had passed; and that she was now on the way to recovery. But the day after the consultation with Dr. Nicholls, Mr. Gibson said to Molly,—
He helped Mrs. Hamley through this crisis; and for a day or two, the Squire's worry and gratitude made him compliant with Mr. Gibson's guidance. Then he went back to thinking that it was a turning point his wife had gone through; and that she was now on the path to recovery. But the day after the consultation with Dr. Nicholls, Mr. Gibson said to Molly,—
"Molly! I've written to Osborne and Roger. Do you know Osborne's address?"
"Molly! I’ve emailed Osborne and Roger. Do you have Osborne’s address?"
"No, papa. He's in disgrace. I don't know if the Squire knows; and she has been too ill to write."
"No, Dad. He's in trouble. I’m not sure if the Squire knows, and she’s been too sick to write."
"Never mind. I'll enclose it to Roger; whatever those lads may be to others, there's as strong brotherly love as ever I saw, between the two. Roger will know. And, Molly, they are sure to come home as soon as they hear my report of their mother's state. I wish you'd tell the Squire what I've done. It's not a pleasant piece of work; and I'll tell madam myself in my own way. I'd have told him if he'd been at home; but you say he was obliged to go to Ashcombe on business."
"Never mind. I'll send it to Roger; no matter what those guys are like to others, there's a strong brotherly love between the two of them. Roger will know. And, Molly, they'll definitely come home as soon as they hear my update about their mom's condition. I wish you'd let the Squire know what I've done. It's not an easy task, and I'll tell madam myself in my own way. I would have told him if he’d been around; but you said he had to go to Ashcombe for work."
"Quite obliged. He was so sorry to miss you. But, papa, he will be so angry! You don't know how mad he is against Osborne."
"Thank you so much. He really regrets not being able to see you. But, dad, he's going to be so angry! You have no idea how furious he is with Osborne."
Molly dreaded the Squire's anger when she gave him her father's message. She had seen quite enough of the domestic relations of the Hamley family to understand that, underneath his old-fashioned courtesy, and the pleasant hospitality he showed to her as a guest, there was a strong will, and a vehement passionate temper, along with that degree of obstinacy in prejudices (or "opinions," as he would have called them) so common to those who have, neither in youth nor in manhood, mixed largely with their kind. She had listened, day after day, to Mrs. Hamley's plaintive murmurs as to the deep disgrace in which Osborne was being held by his father—the prohibition of his coming home; and she hardly knew how to begin to tell him that the letter summoning Osborne had already been sent off.
Molly was anxious about the Squire's anger when she delivered her father's message. She had seen enough of the Hamley family's dynamics to realize that beneath his old-fashioned politeness and the warm hospitality he offered her as a guest, there was a strong will and a fiery temper, along with a level of stubbornness in his beliefs (or "opinions," as he would have called them) that was typical of those who hadn’t interacted much with others, either in their youth or adulthood. She had listened day after day to Mrs. Hamley's sorrowful complaints about the deep shame Osborne faced from his father—the ban on him coming home—and she felt unsure of how to start telling the Squire that the letter summoning Osborne had already been sent out.
Their dinners were tête-à-tête. The Squire tried to make them pleasant to Molly, feeling deeply grateful to her for the soothing comfort she was to his wife. He made merry speeches, which sank away into silence, and at which they each forgot to smile. He ordered up rare wines, which she did not care for, but tasted out of complaisance. He noticed that one day she had eaten some brown beurré pears as if she liked them; and as his trees had not produced many this year, he gave directions that this particular kind should be sought for through the neighbourhood. Molly felt that, in many ways, he was full of good-will towards her; but it did not diminish her dread of touching on the one sore point in the family. However, it had to be done, and that without delay.
Their dinners were just the two of them. The Squire tried to make them enjoyable for Molly, feeling really grateful to her for the calming presence she offered his wife. He made cheerful speeches, but they faded into silence, and neither of them remembered to smile. He ordered fancy wines that she didn’t like but tasted out of politeness. He noticed one day she had eaten some brown buttered pears as if she enjoyed them; since his trees hadn’t produced many this year, he instructed that this specific type should be sought out around the neighborhood. Molly sensed that, in many ways, he meant well towards her; but it didn’t lessen her anxiety about bringing up the one sensitive topic in the family. However, it had to be addressed, and soon.
The great log was placed on the after-dinner fire, the hearth swept up, the ponderous candles snuffed, and then the door was shut and Molly and the Squire were left to their dessert. She sat at the side of the table in her old place. That at the head was vacant; yet, as no orders had been given to the contrary, the plate and glasses and napkin were always arranged as regularly and methodically as if Mrs. Hamley would come in as usual. Indeed, sometimes, when the door by which she used to enter was opened by any chance, Molly caught herself looking round as if she expected to see the tall, languid figure in the elegant draperies of rich silk and soft lace, which Mrs. Hamley was wont to wear of an evening.
The big log was placed on the fire after dinner, the hearth cleaned up, the heavy candles put out, and then the door was closed, leaving Molly and the Squire to their dessert. She sat at her usual spot at the side of the table. The place at the head was empty; however, since no one had said otherwise, the plate, glasses, and napkin were always set out just as they would be if Mrs. Hamley were coming in as usual. In fact, sometimes when the door she used to enter by opened unexpectedly, Molly found herself looking around, almost expecting to see the tall, graceful figure in the elegant silk and soft lace that Mrs. Hamley used to wear in the evenings.
This evening, it struck her, as a new thought of pain, that into that room she would come no more. She had fixed to give her father's message at this very point of time; but something in her throat choked her, and she hardly knew how to govern her voice. The Squire got up and went to the broad fireplace, to strike into the middle of the great log, and split it up into blazing, sparkling pieces. His back was towards her. Molly began, "When papa was here to-day, he bade me tell you he had written to Mr. Roger Hamley to say that—that he thought he had better come home; and he enclosed a letter to Mr. Osborne Hamley to say the same thing."
This evening, it hit her, like a new wave of pain, that she would never enter that room again. She had planned to deliver her father's message right at this moment, but something caught in her throat, and she struggled to control her voice. The Squire stood up and walked to the large fireplace, ready to hit the big log and break it apart into bright, sparkling pieces. His back was to her. Molly started, "When Dad was here today, he asked me to tell you he had written to Mr. Roger Hamley to say that—that he thought it would be best for him to come home; and he enclosed a letter to Mr. Osborne Hamley to say the same thing."
The Squire put down the poker, but he still kept his back to Molly.
The Squire set down the poker, but he still turned his back to Molly.
"He sent for Osborne and Roger?" he asked, at length.
"He asked, after a moment, 'Did he call for Osborne and Roger?'"
Molly answered, "Yes."
Molly replied, "Yes."
Then there was a dead silence, which Molly thought would never end. The Squire had placed his two hands on the high chimney-piece, and stood leaning over the fire.
Then there was complete silence, which Molly thought would never end. The Squire had placed his hands on the high mantel and was leaning over the fire.
"Roger would have been down from Cambridge on the 18th," said he. "And he has sent for Osborne, too! Did he know,"—he continued, turning round to Molly, with something of the fierceness she had anticipated in voice and look. In another moment he had dropped his voice. "It's right, quite right. I understand. It has come at length. Come! come! Osborne has brought it on, though," with a fresh access of anger in his tones. "She might have" (some word Molly could not hear—she thought it sounded like "lingered") "but for that. I can't forgive him; I cannot."
"Roger would have come down from Cambridge on the 18th," he said. "And he’s called for Osborne too! Did he know,"—he continued, turning to Molly with the kind of intensity she expected in his voice and expression. In a moment, he had lowered his voice. "It's right, completely right. I get it. It’s finally happening. Come on! Osborne has caused this, though," with another surge of anger in his voice. "She might have" (some word Molly couldn’t catch—she thought it sounded like "lingered") "if it wasn’t for that. I can’t forgive him; I just can’t."
And then he suddenly left the room. While Molly sat there still, very sad in her sympathy with all, he put his head in again:—
And then he suddenly left the room. While Molly sat there, still very sad in her sympathy for everyone, he leaned back in again:—
"Go to her, my dear; I cannot—not just yet. But I will soon. Just this bit; and after that I won't lose a moment. You're a good girl. God bless you!"
"Go to her, my dear; I can't—not right now. But I will soon. Just a little longer; and after that, I won't waste any time. You're a great girl. God bless you!"
It is not to be supposed that Molly had remained all this time at the Hall without interruption. Once or twice her father had brought her a summons home. Molly thought she could perceive that he had brought it unwillingly; in fact, it was Mrs. Gibson that had sent for her, almost, as it were, to preserve a "right of way" through her actions.
It's not to be assumed that Molly stayed at the Hall this whole time without any breaks. A couple of times, her father had brought her home because her mother, Mrs. Gibson, had asked for her to come back, almost like she was trying to keep a "right of way" through her actions.
"You shall come back to-morrow, or the next day," her father had said. "But mamma seems to think people will put a bad construction on your being so much away from home so soon after our marriage."
"You should come back tomorrow or the next day," her father had said. "But mom seems to think people will judge you for being away from home so soon after our wedding."
"Oh, papa, I'm afraid Mrs. Hamley will miss me! I do so like being with her."
"Oh, Dad, I'm worried Mrs. Hamley will miss me! I really enjoy spending time with her."
"I don't think it is likely she will miss you as much as she would have done a month or two ago. She sleeps so much now, that she is scarcely conscious of the lapse of time. I'll see that you come back here again in a day or two."
"I don't think she’s going to miss you as much as she would have a month or two ago. She sleeps so much now that she hardly even notices the passing time. I'll make sure you come back here in a day or two."
So out of the silence and the soft melancholy of the Hall Molly returned into the all-pervading element of chatter and gossip at Hollingford. Mrs. Gibson received her kindly enough. Once she had a smart new winter bonnet ready to give her as a present; but she did not care to hear any particulars about the friends whom Molly had just left; and her few remarks on the state of affairs at the Hall jarred terribly on the sensitive Molly.
So, out of the quiet and the gentle sadness of the Hall, Molly stepped back into the constant buzz of chatter and gossip in Hollingford. Mrs. Gibson welcomed her warmly enough. Once, she had a stylish new winter hat ready to give her as a gift, but she wasn’t interested in hearing any details about the friends Molly had just left. Her few comments about what was happening at the Hall really bothered the sensitive Molly.
"What a time she lingers! Your papa never expected she would last half so long after that attack. It must be very wearing work to them all; I declare you look quite another creature since you were there. One can only wish it mayn't last, for their sakes."
"What a long time she lingers! Your dad never thought she would last anywhere near this long after that attack. It must be really draining for all of them; I swear you look like a completely different person since you were there. One can only hope it doesn’t go on for too long, for their sake."
"You don't know how the Squire values every minute," said Molly.
"You have no idea how much the Squire values every minute," said Molly.
"Why, you say she sleeps a great deal, and doesn't talk much when she's awake, and there's not the slightest hope for her. And yet, at such times, people are kept on the tenter-hooks with watching and waiting. I know it by my dear Kirkpatrick. There really were days when I thought it never would end. But we won't talk any more of such dismal things; you've had quite enough of them, I'm sure, and it always makes me melancholy to hear of illness and death; and yet your papa seems sometimes as if he could talk of nothing else. I'm going to take you out to-night, though, and that will give you something of a change; and I've been getting Miss Rose to trim up one of my old gowns for you; it's too tight for me. There's some talk of dancing,—it's at Mrs. Edwards'."
"Why, you say she sleeps a lot and doesn't say much when she's awake, and there's no real hope for her. Yet, during those times, people are kept on edge with watching and waiting. I know it from my dear Kirkpatrick. There were days when I thought it would never end. But let's not talk about such gloomy things anymore; you've had enough of them, I'm sure, and it always makes me sad to hear about illness and death. And yet your dad seems to talk about nothing else sometimes. I'm going to take you out tonight, though, and that will give you a change of pace. I've gotten Miss Rose to alter one of my old dresses for you; it’s too tight for me. There's some talk of dancing — it's at Mrs. Edwards'."
"Oh, mamma, I cannot go!" cried Molly. "I've been so much with her; and she may be suffering so, or even dying—and I to be dancing!"
"Oh, Mom, I can't go!" Molly exclaimed. "I've spent so much time with her; she could be in pain or even dying—and I'm supposed to be dancing!"
"Nonsense! You're no relation, so you need not feel it so much. I wouldn't urge you, if she was likely to know about it and be hurt; but as it is, it's all fixed that you are to go; and don't let us have any nonsense about it. We might sit twirling our thumbs, and repeating hymns all our lives long, if we were to do nothing else when people were dying."
"Nonsense! You’re not related, so you don’t need to take it so seriously. I wouldn’t push you if she might find out and be upset; but as it stands, it’s all settled that you’re going, so let’s not mess around. We could sit around twiddling our thumbs and reciting hymns our whole lives if we only did nothing else while people were dying."
"I cannot go," repeated Molly. And, acting upon impulse, and almost to her own surprise, she appealed to her father, who came into the room at this very time. He contracted his dark eyebrows, and looked annoyed as both wife and daughter poured their different sides of the argument into his ears. He sat down in desperation of patience. When his turn came to pronounce a decision, he said,—
"I can’t go," Molly said again. Acting on impulse and almost surprising herself, she turned to her father, who walked into the room just then. He frowned and looked annoyed as both his wife and daughter presented their differing views. He sat down, feeling exasperated. When it was his turn to make a decision, he said,—
"I suppose I can have some lunch? I went away at six this morning, and there's nothing in the dining-room. I have to go off again directly."
"I guess I can grab some lunch? I left at six this morning, and there’s nothing in the dining room. I need to head out again right away."
Molly started to the door; Mrs. Gibson made haste to ring the bell.
Molly headed for the door; Mrs. Gibson quickly rang the bell.
"Where are you going, Molly?" said she, sharply.
"Where are you going, Molly?" she said, sharply.
"Only to see about papa's lunch."
"Just to check on Dad's lunch."
"There are servants to do it; and I don't like your going into the kitchen."
"There are servants to handle it; and I don’t like you going into the kitchen."
"Come, Molly! sit down and be quiet," said her father. "One comes home wanting peace and quietness—and food too. If I am to be appealed to, which I beg I may not be another time, I settle that Molly stops at home this evening. I shall come back late and tired. See that I have something ready to eat, goosey, and then I'll dress myself up in my best, and go and fetch you home, my dear. I wish all these wedding festivities were well over. Ready, is it? Then I'll go into the dining-room and gorge myself. A doctor ought to be able to eat like a camel, or like Major Dugald Dalgetty."
"Come on, Molly! Sit down and be quiet," her father said. "You come home wanting some peace and quiet—and food too. If you’re asking me, which I really hope you won’t do again, I’ve decided that Molly is staying home tonight. I’ll be back late and worn out. Make sure I have something ready to eat, dear, and then I’ll get dressed in my best and come pick you up. I wish all these wedding celebrations were over already. Is it ready? Then I’m going to head into the dining room and load up my plate. A doctor should be able to eat like a camel, or like Major Dugald Dalgetty."
It was well for Molly that callers came in just at this time, for Mrs. Gibson was extremely annoyed. They told her some little local piece of news, however, which filled up her mind; and Molly found that, if she only expressed wonder enough at the engagement they had both heard of from the departed callers, the previous discussion as to her accompanying her stepmother or not might be entirely passed over. Not entirely though; for the next morning she had to listen to a very brilliantly touched-up account of the dance and the gaiety which she had missed; and also to be told that Mrs. Gibson had changed her mind about giving her the gown, and thought now that she should reserve it for Cynthia, if only it was long enough; but Cynthia was so tall—quite overgrown, in fact. The chances seemed equally balanced as to whether Molly might not have the gown after all.
It was lucky for Molly that visitors arrived at that moment, as Mrs. Gibson was really upset. They shared some local gossip, which distracted her, and Molly realized that if she just showed enough surprise about the engagement they had all heard about from the visitors, they could completely skip over the earlier debate about whether she would accompany her stepmother or not. But not completely; the next morning, she had to endure a very exaggerated story about the dance and the fun she had missed, along with being told that Mrs. Gibson changed her mind about giving her the dress and now thought she should save it for Cynthia, assuming it fit her. But Cynthia was so tall—almost too tall, really. It seemed equally likely that Molly might not get the dress after all.
CHAPTER XVIII.
MR. OSBORNE'S SECRET.
sborne and Roger
came to the Hall; Molly found Roger established
there when she returned after this absence at home. She gathered that
Osborne was coming; but very little was said about him in any way.
The Squire scarcely ever left his wife's room; he sat by her,
watching her, and now and then moaning to himself. She was so much
under the influence of opiates that she did not often rouse up; but
when she did, she almost invariably asked for Molly. On these rare
occasions, she would ask after Osborne—where he was, if he had been
told, and if he was coming? In her weakened and confused state of
intellect she seemed to have retained two strong impressions—one, of
the sympathy with which Molly had received her confidence about
Osborne; the other, of the anger which her husband entertained
against him. Before the squire she never mentioned Osborne's name;
nor did she seem at her ease in speaking about him to Roger; while,
when she was alone with Molly, she hardly spoke of any one else. She
must have had some sort of wandering idea that Roger blamed his
brother, while she remembered Molly's eager defence, which she had
thought hopelessly improbable at the time. At any rate, she made
Molly her confidante about her first-born. She sent her to ask Roger
how soon he would come, for she seemed to know perfectly well that he
was coming.
Osborne and Roger
arrived at the Hall; Molly found Roger there when she came back after being at home. She understood that
Osborne was on his way; however, not much was said about him at all. The Squire hardly ever left his wife's room; he sat with her, watching her and occasionally moaning to himself. She was so heavily sedated that she didn’t often wake up; but when she did, she almost always asked for Molly. On those rare occasions, she would inquire about Osborne—where he was, if he had been informed, and if he was coming? In her weakened and confused state, she seemed to hold onto two strong impressions—one, of the sympathy with which Molly had listened to her share about Osborne; the other, of the anger her husband felt toward him. In front of the squire, she never mentioned Osborne's name; nor did she seem comfortable talking about him with Roger; however, when she was alone with Molly, she hardly spoke of anyone else. She must have had some sort of fleeting thought that Roger blamed his brother, while she remembered Molly's passionate defense, which she had thought was hopelessly unlikely at the time. In any case, she confided in Molly about her first child. She sent her to ask Roger how soon he would arrive, for she seemed to know perfectly well that he was coming.
"Tell me all Roger says. He will tell you."
"Tell me everything Roger says. He'll tell you."
But it was several days before Molly could ask Roger any questions; and meanwhile Mrs. Hamley's state had materially altered. At length Molly came upon Roger sitting in the library, his head buried in his hands. He did not hear her footstep till she was close beside him. Then he lifted up his face, red, and stained with tears, his hair all ruffled up and in disorder.
But it took several days before Molly could ask Roger any questions; in the meantime, Mrs. Hamley's condition had changed significantly. Finally, Molly found Roger sitting in the library, his head in his hands. He didn't notice her approach until she was right next to him. Then he looked up, his face red and streaked with tears, his hair messy and disheveled.
"I've been wanting to see you alone," she began. "Your mother does so want some news of your brother Osborne. She told me last week to ask you about him, but I did not like to speak of him before your father."
"I've been wanting to see you by yourself," she started. "Your mom really wants some news about your brother Osborne. She asked me last week to check in with you about him, but I didn't want to bring him up in front of your dad."
"She has hardly ever named him to me."
"She has rarely mentioned him to me."
"I don't know why; for to me she used to talk of him perpetually. I have seen so little of her this week, and I think she forgets a great deal now. Still, if you don't mind, I should like to be able to tell her something if she asks me again."
"I don’t know why, but she used to talk about him all the time. I haven’t seen much of her this week, and I think she’s starting to forget a lot. Still, if you don’t mind, I’d like to be able to tell her something if she asks me again."
He put his head again between his hands, and did not answer her for some time.
He put his head back in his hands and didn’t respond to her for a while.
"What does she want to know?" said he, at last. "Does she know that Osborne is coming soon—any day?"
"What does she want to know?" he finally asked. "Does she realize that Osborne is coming soon—any day now?"
"Yes. But she wants to know where he is."
"Yes. But she wants to know where he is."
"I can't tell you. I don't exactly know. I believe he's abroad, but I'm not sure."
"I can't tell you. I don't really know. I think he's overseas, but I'm not certain."
"But you've sent papa's letter to him?"
"But you've sent Dad's letter to him?"
"I've sent it to a friend of his who will know better than I do where he's to be found. You must know that he isn't free from creditors, Molly. You can't have been one of the family, like a child of the house almost, without knowing that much. For that and for other reasons I don't exactly know where he is."
"I've sent it to a friend of his who knows better than I do where he can be found. You must realize that he isn't free from creditors, Molly. You can't have been part of the family, almost like a child of the house, without knowing that much. Because of that and other reasons, I don't really know where he is."
"I will tell her so. You are sure he will come?"
"I'll let her know. Are you sure he will come?"
"Quite sure. But, Molly, I think my mother may live some time yet; don't you? Dr. Nicholls said so yesterday when he was here with your father. He said she had rallied more than he had ever expected. You're not afraid of any change that makes you so anxious for Osborne's coming?"
"Absolutely. But, Molly, I think my mom might still live for a while; don’t you? Dr. Nicholls mentioned it yesterday when he visited with your dad. He said she’s bounced back more than he thought she would. Are you worried about any changes that make you so eager for Osborne’s arrival?"
"No. It's only for her that I asked. She did seem so to crave for news of him. I think she dreamed of him; and then when she wakened it was a relief to her to talk about him to me. She always seemed to associate me with him. We used to speak so much of him when we were together."
"No. I only asked for her. She really seemed to want news about him. I think she dreamed of him; and when she woke up, it felt good for her to talk about him with me. She always seemed to connect me with him. We used to talk about him a lot when we were together."
"I don't know what we should any of us have done without you. You've been like a daughter to my mother."
"I don't know what any of us would have done without you. You've been like a daughter to my mom."
"I do so love her," said Molly, softly.
"I really love her," said Molly softly.
"Yes; I see. Have you ever noticed that she sometimes calls you 'Fanny?' It was the name of a little sister of ours who died. I think she often takes you for her. It was partly that, and partly that at such a time as this one can't stand on formalities, that made me call you Molly. I hope you don't mind it?"
"Yeah, I get it. Have you ever noticed that she sometimes calls you 'Fanny?' That was the name of our little sister who passed away. I think she often confuses you for her. It was partly that, and partly because during times like this, we can't worry about being formal, that made me call you Molly. I hope you don’t mind?"
"No; I like it. But will you tell me something more about your brother? She really hungers for news of him."
"No; I like it. But could you tell me a bit more about your brother? She really wants to know about him."
"She'd better ask me herself. Yet, no! I am so involved by promises of secrecy, Molly, that I couldn't satisfy her if she once began to question me. I believe he's in Belgium, and that he went there about a fortnight ago, partly to avoid his creditors. You know my father has refused to pay his debts?"
"She should really ask me directly. But no! I'm so tied up in promises of secrecy, Molly, that I couldn't give her the answers if she starts to ask me anything. I think he's in Belgium and left about two weeks ago, partly to steer clear of his creditors. You know my dad has refused to cover his debts?"
"Yes: at least, I knew something like it."
"Yeah: at least, I knew something like that."
"I don't believe my father could raise the money all at once without having recourse to steps which he would exceedingly recoil from. Yet for the time it places Osborne in a very awkward position."
"I don't think my father could come up with the money all at once without resorting to actions he would strongly dislike. But for now, it puts Osborne in a really uncomfortable situation."
"I think what vexes your father a good deal is some mystery as to how the money was spent."
"I think what really bothers your father is the mystery around how the money was spent."
"If my mother ever says anything about that part of the affair," said Roger, hastily, "assure her from me that there's nothing of vice or wrong-doing about it. I can't say more: I'm tied. But set her mind at ease on that point."
"If my mom ever brings up that part of the situation," said Roger quickly, "please reassure her for me that there's nothing immoral or wrong about it. I can't say more: I'm restricted. But ease her mind on that."
"I'm not sure if she remembers all her painful anxiety about this," said Molly. "She used to speak a great deal to me about him before you came, when your father seemed so angry. And now, whenever she sees me she wants to talk on the old subject; but she doesn't remember so clearly. If she were to see him, I don't believe she would recollect why she was uneasy about him while he was absent."
"I'm not sure if she remembers all her painful anxiety about this," said Molly. "She used to talk a lot to me about him before you came, when your dad seemed so angry. And now, whenever she sees me, she wants to talk about the old stuff; but she doesn't remember it all that clearly. If she were to see him, I really don't think she'd remember why she was uneasy about him when he was gone."
"He must be here soon. I expect him every day," said Roger, uneasily.
"He should be here any minute. I expect him every day," said Roger, feeling uneasy.
"Do you think your father will be very angry with him?" asked Molly, with as much timidity as if the squire's displeasure might be directed against her.
"Do you think your dad will be really mad at him?" asked Molly, feeling as nervous as if the squire's anger could be aimed at her.
"I don't know," said Roger. "My mother's illness may alter him; but he didn't easily forgive us formerly. I remember once—but that is nothing to the purpose. I can't help fancying that he has put himself under some strong restraint for my mother's sake, and that he won't express much. But it doesn't follow that he will forget it. My father is a man of few affections, but what he has are very strong; he feels anything that touches him on these points deeply and permanently. That unlucky valuing of the property! It has given my father the idea of post-obits—"
"I don't know," Roger said. "My mom's illness might change him, but he didn’t forgive us easily before. I remember once—but that's beside the point. I can't shake the feeling that he's holding back for my mom's sake and won't share much. But that doesn’t mean he’ll forget. My dad isn’t a man of many emotions, but his feelings are strong when he has them; he feels anything that touches him on those matters deeply and permanently. That unfortunate assessment of the property! It has given my dad the idea of post-obituaries—
"What are they?" asked Molly.
"What are those?" asked Molly.
"Raising money to be paid on my father's death, which, of course, involves calculations as to the duration of his life."
"Raising funds to be paid upon my father's death, which, of course, requires figuring out how long he will live."
"How shocking!" said she.
"How shocking!" she exclaimed.
"I'm as sure as I am of my own life that Osborne never did anything of the kind. But my father expressed his suspicions in language that irritated Osborne; and he doesn't speak out, and won't justify himself even as much as he might; and, much as he loves me, I've but little influence over him, or else he would tell my father all. Well, we must leave it to time," he added, sighing. "My mother would have brought us all right, if she'd been what she once was."
"I'm as sure as I am of my own life that Osborne never did anything like that. But my dad expressed his doubts in a way that annoyed Osborne; he doesn’t speak up and won’t defend himself as much as he could; and even though he loves me, I have very little influence over him, or else he would tell my dad everything. Well, we have to leave it to time," he sighed. "My mom would have handled it all if she’d been the way she used to be."
He turned away, leaving Molly very sad. She knew that every member of the family she cared for so much was in trouble, out of which she saw no exit; and her small power of helping them was diminishing day by day as Mrs. Hamley sank more and more under the influence of opiates and stupefying illness. Her father had spoken to her only this very day of the desirableness of her returning home for good. Mrs. Gibson wanted her—for no particular reason, but for many small fragments of reasons. Mrs. Hamley had ceased to want her much, only occasionally appearing to remember her existence. Her position (her father thought—the idea had not entered her head) in a family of which the only woman was an invalid confined to bed, was becoming awkward. But Molly had begged hard to remain two or three days longer—only that—only till Friday. If Mrs. Hamley should want her (she argued, with tears in her eyes), and should hear that she had left the house, she would think her so unkind, so ungrateful!
He turned away, leaving Molly very sad. She knew that every member of the family she cared about so much was in trouble, and she saw no way out for them; her ability to help was fading day by day as Mrs. Hamley became more and more dependent on painkillers and was further crushed by illness. Her father had just told her today that it would be a good idea for her to come home for good. Mrs. Gibson wanted her—for no specific reason, but for a bunch of little reasons. Mrs. Hamley had stopped wanting her around much, only occasionally seeming to remember she existed. Her situation (her father thought—the idea hadn’t crossed her mind) in a family where the only woman was an invalid stuck in bed, was getting awkward. But Molly had pleaded hard to stay just two or three days longer—just until Friday. If Mrs. Hamley happened to need her (she argued, with tears in her eyes), and found out that she had left the house, she would think Molly was so unkind, so ungrateful!
"My dear child, she's getting past wanting any one! The keenness of earthly feelings is deadened."
"My dear child, she’s moved on from wanting anyone! The intensity of earthly emotions has faded."
"Papa, that is worst of all. I cannot bear it. I won't believe it. She may not ask for me again, and may quite forget me; but I'm sure, to the very last, if the medicines don't stupefy her, she will look round for the squire and her children. For poor Osborne most of all; because he's in sorrow."
"Dad, that's the worst of all. I can't handle it. I won't accept it. She might not ask for me again and might completely forget me, but I'm sure that, all the way to the end, if the meds don't dull her senses, she will be looking for the squire and her kids. Especially for poor Osborne, because he's in so much pain."
Mr. Gibson shook his head, but said nothing in reply. In a minute or two he asked,—
Mr. Gibson shook his head but didn’t say anything in response. After a minute or two, he asked,
"I don't like to take you away while you even fancy you can be of use or comfort to one who has been so kind to you; but, if she hasn't wanted you before Friday, will you be convinced, will you come home willingly?"
"I don’t want to take you away while you still think you can be helpful or comforting to someone who has been so nice to you; but if she hasn’t needed you before Friday, will you be convinced, will you come home willingly?"
"If I go then, I may see her once again, even if she hasn't asked for me?" inquired Molly.
"If I go, will I get to see her again, even if she hasn't asked for me?" Molly asked.
"Yes, of course. You must make no noise, no step; but you may go in and see her. I must tell you, I'm almost certain she won't ask for you."
"Yes, of course. You need to be completely quiet and make no noise as you go in to see her. I have to warn you, though, I'm pretty sure she won't be asking for you."
"But she may, papa. I will go home on Friday, if she does not. I think she will."
"But she might, Dad. I'll go home on Friday if she doesn't. I think she will."
So Molly hung about the house, trying to do all she could out of the sick-room, for the comfort of those in it. They only came out for meals, or for necessary business, and found little time for talking to her, so her life was solitary enough, waiting for the call that never came. The evening of the day on which she had had the above conversation with Roger, Osborne arrived. He came straight into the drawing-room, where Molly was seated on the rug, reading by firelight, as she did not like to ring for candles merely for her own use. Osborne came in, with a kind of hurry, which almost made him appear as if he would trip himself up, and fall down. Molly rose. He had not noticed her before; now he came forwards, and took hold of both her hands, leading her into the full flickering light, and straining his eyes to look into her face.
So Molly hung around the house, trying to do everything she could outside the sick room to comfort those inside it. They only came out for meals or urgent matters and had little time to talk to her, so her life felt pretty lonely, just waiting for the call that never came. That evening, after she had the earlier conversation with Roger, Osborne showed up. He walked straight into the living room, where Molly was sitting on the rug, reading by the firelight because she didn't want to ring for candles just for herself. Osborne came in with a kind of urgency that almost made him look like he would trip over himself. Molly stood up. He hadn’t noticed her before, but now he stepped forward, took both her hands, led her into the bright flickering light, and squinted to look into her face.
"How is she? You will tell me—you must know the truth! I've travelled day and night since I got your father's letter."
"How is she? You have to tell me—you must know the truth! I've been traveling day and night since I got your father's letter."
Before she could frame her answer, he had sate down in the nearest chair, covering his eyes with his hand.
Before she could come up with her answer, he had sat down in the nearest chair, covering his eyes with his hand.
"She's very ill," said Molly. "That you know; but I don't think she suffers much pain. She has wanted you sadly."
"She’s very ill," Molly said. "You know that, but I don’t think she’s in much pain. She’s really wanted to see you."
He groaned aloud. "My father forbade me to come."
He groaned loudly. "My dad told me I couldn't come."
"I know!" said Molly, anxious to prevent his self-reproach. "Your brother was away, too. I think no one knew how ill she was—she had been an invalid for so long."
"I know!" said Molly, eager to stop him from blaming himself. "Your brother was away, too. I don't think anyone realized how sick she was—she had been unwell for so long."
"You know— Yes! she told you a great deal—she was very fond of you. And God knows how I loved her. If I had not been forbidden to come home, I should have told her all. Does my father know of my coming now?"
"You know— Yes! she told you a lot—she really liked you. And God knows how much I loved her. If I hadn’t been told not to come home, I would have told her everything. Does my dad know I'm coming back now?"
"Yes," said Molly; "I told him papa had sent for you."
"Yeah," said Molly; "I told him Dad had asked for you."
Just at that moment the Squire came in. He had not heard of Osborne's arrival, and was seeking Molly to ask her to write a letter for him.
Just then, the Squire walked in. He hadn't heard about Osborne's arrival and was looking for Molly to ask her to write a letter for him.
Osborne did not stand up when his father entered. He was too much exhausted, too much oppressed by his feelings, and also too much estranged by his father's angry, suspicious letters. If he had come forward with any manifestation of feeling at this moment, everything might have been different. But he waited for his father to see him before he uttered a word. All that the Squire said when his eye fell upon him at last was,—
Osborne didn't get up when his father walked in. He was too exhausted, too weighed down by his emotions, and also too distant due to his father's angry, mistrustful letters. If he had shown any emotion at that moment, things might have turned out differently. But he held back, waiting for his father to notice him before saying anything. All that the Squire said when he finally saw him was,—
"You here, sir!"
"You're here, sir!"
And, breaking off in the directions he was giving to Molly, he abruptly left the room. All the time his heart was yearning after his first-born; but mutual pride kept them asunder. Yet he went straight to the butler, and asked of him when Mr. Osborne had arrived, and how he had come, and if he had had any refreshment—dinner or what—since his arrival?
And, interrupting the instructions he was giving to Molly, he suddenly left the room. All the while, his heart was longing for his firstborn; but their mutual pride kept them apart. Still, he went directly to the butler and asked him when Mr. Osborne had arrived, how he had come, and whether he had had any refreshments—dinner or something—since his arrival.
"For I think I forget everything now!" said the poor Squire, putting his hand up to his head. "For the life of me, I can't remember whether we've had dinner or not; these long nights, and all this sorrow and watching, quite bewilder me."
"For I think I'm forgetting everything now!" said the poor Squire, putting his hand to his head. "I honestly can't remember if we've had dinner or not; these long nights, and all this sorrow and sleeplessness, completely confuse me."
"Perhaps, sir, you will take some dinner with Mr. Osborne. Mrs. Morgan is sending up his directly. You hardly sate down at dinner-time, sir, you thought my mistress wanted something."
"Maybe, sir, you’ll have dinner with Mr. Osborne. Mrs. Morgan is sending it up for him right now. You barely sit down at dinner, sir; you thought my mistress needed something."
"Ay! I remember now. No! I won't have any more. Give Mr. Osborne what wine he chooses. Perhaps he can eat and drink." So the Squire went away upstairs with bitterness as well as sorrow in his heart.
"Ah! I remember now. No! I won’t have any more. Let Mr. Osborne have whatever wine he wants. Maybe he can eat and drink." With that, the Squire went upstairs, feeling both bitter and sad.
When lights were brought, Molly was struck with the change in Osborne. He looked haggard and worn; perhaps with travelling and anxiety. Not quite such a dainty gentleman either, as Molly had thought him, when she had last seen him calling on her stepmother, two months before. But she liked him better now. The tone of his remarks pleased her more. He was simpler, and less ashamed of showing his feelings. He asked after Roger in a warm, longing kind of way. Roger was out: he had ridden to Ashcombe to transact some business for the Squire. Osborne evidently wished for his return; and hung about restlessly in the drawing-room after he had dined.
When the lights were turned on, Molly noticed how different Osborne looked. He seemed worn out and tired, probably from traveling and stress. He wasn’t the refined gentleman she remembered from the last time he visited her stepmother two months ago. But she actually liked him more now. She found his comments more appealing. He was more genuine and less embarrassed about expressing his emotions. He inquired about Roger with a warm, eager demeanor. Roger was out; he had ridden to Ashcombe to take care of some business for the Squire. Osborne clearly wanted him to come back and lingered restlessly in the drawing-room after dinner.
"You're sure I mayn't see her to-night?" he asked Molly, for the third or fourth time.
"Are you sure I can't see her tonight?" he asked Molly for the third or fourth time.
"No, indeed. I will go up again if you like it. But Mrs. Jones, the nurse Dr. Nicholls sent, is a very decided person. I went up while you were at dinner, and Mrs. Hamley had just taken her drops, and was on no account to be disturbed by seeing any one, much less by any excitement."
"No, really. I can go up again if you want. But Mrs. Jones, the nurse Dr. Nicholls sent, is quite firm. I went up while you were at dinner, and Mrs. Hamley had just taken her medication, so she absolutely shouldn't be disturbed by anyone, especially not by any excitement."
Osborne kept walking up and down the long drawing-room, half talking to himself, half to Molly.
Osborne kept pacing back and forth in the long living room, partly talking to himself and partly to Molly.
"I wish Roger would come. He seems to be the only one to give me a welcome. Does my father always live upstairs in my mother's rooms, Miss Gibson?"
"I wish Roger would come. He seems to be the only one who welcomes me. Does my dad always stay upstairs in my mom's rooms, Miss Gibson?"
"He has done since her last attack. I believe he reproaches himself for not having been enough alarmed before."
"He has acted since her last attack. I think he blames himself for not being alarmed enough beforehand."
"You heard all the words he said to me; they were not much of a welcome, were they? And my dear mother, who always—whether I was to blame or not—I suppose Roger is sure to come home to-night?"
"You heard everything he said to me; it wasn't much of a welcome, was it? And my dear mom, who always—whether I was at fault or not—I assume Roger will definitely come home tonight?"
"Quite sure."
"Pretty sure."
"You are staying here, are you not? Do you often see my mother, or does this omnipotent nurse keep you out too?"
"You’re staying here, right? Do you see my mom often, or does that all-powerful nurse keep you away too?"
"Mrs. Hamley hasn't asked for me for three days now, and I don't go into her room unless she asks. I'm leaving on Friday, I believe."
"Mrs. Hamley hasn’t asked for me in three days, and I don’t go into her room unless she requests it. I think I’ll be leaving on Friday."
"My mother was very fond of you, I know."
"My mom really liked you, I know."
After a while he said, in a voice that had a great deal of sensitive pain in its tone,—
After a while he said, in a voice that carried a lot of sensitive pain in its tone,—
"I suppose—do you know whether she is quite conscious—quite herself?"
"I guess—do you know if she’s fully aware—completely herself?"
"Not always conscious," said Molly, tenderly. "She has to take so many opiates. But she never wanders, only forgets, and sleeps."
"Not always aware," Molly said gently. "She has to take so many painkillers. But she never loses her way, just forgets and sleeps."
"Oh, mother, mother!" said he, stopping suddenly, and hanging over the fire, his hands on the chimney-piece.
"Oh, Mom, Mom!" he said, stopping abruptly and leaning over the fire, his hands on the mantel.
When Roger came home, Molly thought it time to retire. Poor girl! it was getting to be time for her to leave this scene of distress in which she could be of no use. She sobbed herself to sleep this Tuesday night. Two days more, and it would be Friday; and she would have to wrench up the roots she had shot down into this ground. The weather was bright the next morning; and morning and sunny weather cheer up young hearts. Molly sate in the dining-room making tea for the gentlemen as they came down. She could not help hoping that the Squire and Osborne might come to a better understanding before she left; for after all, in the dissension between father and son, lay a bitterer sting than in the illness sent by God. But though they met at the breakfast-table, they purposely avoided addressing each other. Perhaps the natural subject of conversation between the two, at such a time, would have been Osborne's long journey the night before; but he had never spoken of the place he had come from, whether north, south, east, or west, and the Squire did not choose to allude to anything that might bring out what his son wished to conceal. Again, there was an unexpressed idea in both their minds that Mrs. Hamley's present illness was much aggravated, if not entirely brought on, by the discovery of Osborne's debts; so, many inquiries and answers on that head were tabooed. In fact, their attempts at easy conversation were limited to local subjects, and principally addressed to Molly or Roger. Such intercourse was not productive of pleasure, or even of friendly feeling, though there was a thin outward surface of politeness and peace. Long before the day was over, Molly wished that she had acceded to her father's proposal, and gone home with him. No one seemed to want her. Mrs. Jones, the nurse, assured her time after time that Mrs. Hamley had never named her name; and her small services in the sick-room were not required since there was a regular nurse. Osborne and Roger seemed all in all to each other; and Molly now felt how much the short conversations she had had with Roger had served to give her something to think about, all during the remainder of her solitary days. Osborne was extremely polite, and even expressed his gratitude to her for her attentions to his mother in a very pleasant manner; but he appeared to be unwilling to show her any of the deeper feelings of his heart, and almost ashamed of his exhibition of emotion the night before. He spoke to her as any agreeable young man speaks to any pleasant young lady; but Molly almost resented this. It was only the Squire who seemed to make her of any account. He gave her letters to write, small bills to reckon up; and she could have kissed his hands for thankfulness.
When Roger got home, Molly thought it was time to leave. Poor girl! It was becoming time for her to exit this distressing situation where she felt useless. She cried herself to sleep that Tuesday night. Just two days left until Friday, and she would have to uproot herself from where she had settled in. The weather was bright the next morning, and sunny mornings always lift young spirits. Molly sat in the dining room, making tea for the gentlemen as they came down. She couldn’t help hoping that the Squire and Osborne could patch things up before she left; after all, the rift between father and son carried a deeper hurt than the illness sent by God. But even at the breakfast table, they purposely avoided talking to each other. The natural topic between them at that time could have been about Osborne's long journey the night before, but he had never mentioned where he had come from, whether it was north, south, east, or west. The Squire chose not to bring up anything that might reveal what his son wanted to hide. There was an unspoken understanding between them that Mrs. Hamley’s current illness was largely worsened, if not entirely caused, by the discovery of Osborne's debts; so discussions on that topic were off-limits. Their attempts at light conversation were focused on local matters, mainly directed towards Molly or Roger. This interaction didn’t bring any joy or even a sense of camaraderie, although there was a thin veneer of politeness and calm. Long before the day ended, Molly regretted not accepting her father’s suggestion to go home with him. No one seemed to want her around. Mrs. Jones, the nurse, repeatedly told her that Mrs. Hamley hadn’t mentioned her name; her small help in the sickroom wasn’t needed since there was a full-time nurse now. Osborne and Roger seemed to rely on each other completely, and Molly realized how much her brief conversations with Roger had given her something to think about in her lonely days. Osborne was very polite and even thanked her for caring for his mother in a friendly way, but he seemed reluctant to share any deeper feelings, almost embarrassed about showing emotion the night before. He spoke to her like any charming young man talks to a pleasant young lady, but Molly felt a bit offended by that. It was only the Squire who gave her any sense of importance. He assigned her letters to write and small bills to calculate; she would have happily kissed his hands in gratitude.
The last afternoon of her stay at the Hall came. Roger had gone out on the Squire's business. Molly went into the garden, thinking over the last summer, when Mrs. Hamley's sofa used to be placed under the old cedar-tree on the lawn, and when the warm air seemed to be scented with roses and sweetbriar. Now, the trees leafless, there was no sweet odour in the keen frosty air; and looking up at the house, there were the white sheets of blinds, shutting out the pale winter sky from the invalid's room. Then she thought of the day her father had brought her the news of his second marriage: the thicket was tangled with dead weeds and rime and hoar-frost; and the beautiful fine articulations of branches and boughs and delicate twigs were all intertwined in leafless distinctness against the sky. Could she ever be so passionately unhappy again? Was it goodness, or was it numbness, that made her feel as though life was too short to be troubled much about anything? Death seemed the only reality. She had neither energy nor heart to walk far or briskly; and turned back towards the house. The afternoon sun was shining brightly on the windows; and, stirred up to unusual activity by some unknown cause, the housemaids had opened the shutters and windows of the generally unused library. The middle window was also a door; the white-painted wood went halfway up. Molly turned along the little flag-paved path that led past the library windows to the gate in the white railings at the front of the house, and went in at the opened door. She had had leave given to choose out any books she wished to read, and to take them home with her; and it was just the sort of half-dawdling employment suited to her taste this afternoon. She mounted on the ladder to get to a particular shelf high up in a dark corner of the room; and finding there some volume that looked interesting, she sat down on the step to read part of it. There she sat, in her bonnet and cloak, when Osborne suddenly came in. He did not see her at first; indeed, he seemed in such a hurry that he probably might not have noticed her at all, if she had not spoken.
The last afternoon of her stay at the Hall arrived. Roger had gone out on the Squire's business. Molly walked into the garden, reflecting on the last summer when Mrs. Hamley's sofa used to be set up under the old cedar tree on the lawn, and the warm air was filled with the scent of roses and sweetbriar. Now, with the trees bare, there was no sweet fragrance in the sharp, frosty air; and looking up at the house, she saw the white sheets of blinds, blocking out the pale winter sky from the invalid's room. Then, she thought about the day her father told her the news of his second marriage: the thicket was overgrown with dead weeds and frost; and the lovely fine shapes of branches, boughs, and delicate twigs were all intertwined in bare clarity against the sky. Could she ever feel that passionately unhappy again? Was it kindness or just numbness that made her think life was too short to worry too much about anything? Death felt like the only reality. She had neither the energy nor the heart to walk far or briskly, so she turned back toward the house. The afternoon sun was shining brightly on the windows, and, stirred to unusual activity by some unknown reason, the housemaids had opened the shutters and windows of the usually unused library. The middle window also served as a door; the white-painted wood reached halfway up. Molly followed the little flagstone path that led past the library windows to the gate in the white railing at the front of the house and went in through the open door. She had been given permission to pick any books she wanted to read and take them home with her, and it was exactly the kind of leisurely task that suited her mood this afternoon. She climbed up the ladder to reach a specific shelf high up in a dark corner of the room; and after finding a volume that looked interesting, she sat down on the step to read part of it. There she was, in her bonnet and cloak, when Osborne suddenly came in. He didn't notice her at first; in fact, he seemed in such a hurry that he probably wouldn't have seen her at all if she hadn't spoken.
"Am I in your way? I only came here for a minute to look for some books." She came down the steps as she spoke, still holding the book in her hand.
"Am I in your way? I just came here for a minute to look for some books." She came down the steps as she spoke, still holding the book in her hand.
"Not at all. It is I who am disturbing you. I must just write a letter for the post, and then I shall be gone. Is not this open door too cold for you?"
"Not at all. I'm the one bothering you. I just need to write a letter to mail, and then I'll be on my way. Isn't this open door too chilly for you?"
"Oh, no. It is so fresh and pleasant."
"Oh, no. It's so fresh and nice."
She began to read again, sitting on the lowest step of the ladder; he to write at the large old-fashioned writing-table close to the window. There was a minute or two of profound silence, in which the rapid scratching of Osborne's pen upon the paper was the only sound. Then came a click of the gate, and Roger stood at the open door. His face was towards Osborne, sitting in the light; his back to Molly, crouched up in her corner. He held out a letter, and said in hoarse breathlessness—
She started reading again, perched on the bottom step of the ladder, while he sat at the big, old-fashioned writing desk near the window, writing. There was a minute or two of deep silence, where the only noise was the rapid scratching of Osborne's pen on the paper. Then, the gate clicked open, and Roger appeared at the door. His face was turned towards Osborne, who was sitting in the light, and his back was to Molly, who was curled up in her corner. He extended a letter and said in a hoarse breath—
"Here's a letter from your wife, Osborne. I went past the post-office and thought—"
"Here's a letter from your wife, Osborne. I passed the post office and thought—
Osborne stood up, angry dismay upon his face:—
Osborne stood up, anger and disbelief written all over his face:—
"Roger! what have you done! Don't you see her?"
"Roger! What have you done? Don't you see her?"
Roger looked round, and Molly stood up in her corner, red, trembling, miserable, as though she were a guilty person. Roger entered the room. All three seemed to be equally dismayed. Molly was the first to speak; she came forward and said—
Roger looked around, and Molly stood up in her corner, red, trembling, and looking miserable, as if she were guilty. Roger walked into the room. All three seemed equally disheartened. Molly was the first to speak; she stepped forward andsaid—
"I am so sorry! I didn't wish to hear it, but I couldn't help it. You will trust me, won't you?" and turning to Roger she said to him with tears in her eyes—"Please say you know I shall not tell."
"I’m really sorry! I didn’t want to hear it, but I couldn’t stop myself. You trust me, right?” Turning to Roger, she said with tears in her eyes, “Please say you know I won’t tell.”
"We can't help it," said Osborne, gloomily. "Only Roger, who knew of what importance it was, ought to have looked round him before speaking."
"We can't help it," Osborne said with a frown. "Only Roger, who knew how important it was, should have looked around before speaking."
"So I should," said Roger. "I'm more vexed with myself than you can conceive. Not but what I'm as sure of you as of myself," continued he, turning to Molly.
"So I should," said Roger. "I'm more frustrated with myself than you can imagine. But I'm just as certain of you as I am of myself," he added, turning to Molly.
"Yes; but," said Osborne, "you see how many chances there are that even the best-meaning persons may let out what it is of such consequence to me to keep secret."
"Yeah; but," said Osborne, "you can see how many chances there are that even the well-intentioned people might spill what’s so crucial for me to keep hidden."
"I know you think it so," said Roger.
"I know you think that way," said Roger.
"Well, don't let us begin that old discussion again—at any rate, before a third person."
"Well, let's not start that old discussion again—at least not in front of another person."
Molly had had hard work all this time to keep from crying. Now that she was alluded to as the third person before whom conversation was to be restrained, she said—
Molly had been struggling this whole time to hold back her tears. Now that she was referred to as the third person in a conversation that was supposed to be kept quiet, she stated
"I'm going away. Perhaps I ought not to have been here. I'm very sorry—very. But I'll try and forget what I've heard."
"I'm leaving. Maybe I shouldn't have been here. I'm really sorry—really. But I'll try to forget what I've heard."
"You can't do that," said Osborne, still ungraciously. "But will you promise me never to speak about it to any one—not even to me, or to Roger? Will you try to act and speak as if you had never heard it? I'm sure, from what Roger has told me about you, that if you give me this promise I may rely upon it."
"You can't do that," Osborne said, still being rude. "But will you promise me never to talk about it to anyone—not even to me or Roger? Will you try to act and speak as if you had never heard it? I'm certain, from what Roger has told me about you, that if you give me this promise, I can count on it."
"Yes; I will promise," said Molly, putting out her hand as a kind of pledge. Osborne took it, but rather as if the action was superfluous. She added, "I think I should have done so, even without a promise. But it is, perhaps, better to bind oneself. I will go away now. I wish I'd never come into this room."
"Yes; I promise," Molly said, extending her hand as a sort of pledge. Osborne took it, but it felt more like the gesture was unnecessary. She added, "I think I would have done this even without a promise. But maybe it's better to commit. I’ll leave now. I wish I’d never entered this room."
She put down her book on the table very softly, and turned to leave the room, choking down her tears until she was in the solitude of her own chamber. But Roger was at the door before her, holding it open for her, and reading—she felt that he was reading—her face. He held out his hand for hers, and his firm grasp expressed both sympathy and regret for what had occurred.
She gently set her book down on the table and turned to leave the room, fighting back her tears until she was alone in her own room. But Roger was at the door before her, holding it open and—she felt—reading her expression. He reached out his hand for hers, and his strong grip conveyed both sympathy and regret for what had happened.
She could hardly keep back her sobs till she reached her bedroom. Her feelings had been overwrought for some time past, without finding the natural vent in action. The leaving Hamley Hall had seemed so sad before; and now she was troubled with having to bear away a secret which she ought never to have known, and the knowledge of which had brought out a very uncomfortable responsibility. Then there would arise a very natural wonder as to who Osborne's wife was. Molly had not stayed so long and so intimately in the Hamley family without being well aware of the manner in which the future lady of Hamley was planned for. The Squire, for instance, partly in order to show that Osborne, his heir, was above the reach of Molly Gibson, the doctor's daughter, in the early days before he knew Molly well, had often alluded to the grand, the high, and the wealthy marriage which Hamley of Hamley, as represented by his clever, brilliant, handsome son Osborne, might be expected to make. Mrs. Hamley, too, unconsciously on her part, showed the projects that she was constantly devising for the reception of the unknown daughter-in-law that was to be.
She could barely hold back her tears until she got to her bedroom. Her emotions had been running high for a while, without any real outlet. Leaving Hamley Hall had felt so sad before; now, she was worried about carrying a secret she should never have known, and this knowledge brought an uncomfortable responsibility. Then there was the natural curiosity about who Osborne's wife would be. Molly had been close to the Hamley family long enough to understand how the future lady of Hamley was being chosen. For example, the Squire often mentioned the grand, high-status, and wealthy marriage he hoped his heir, Osborne, would make, partly to show that Osborne was above the reach of Molly Gibson, the doctor's daughter, before he got to know Molly well. Mrs. Hamley, too, unknowingly revealed the plans she was always coming up with for the unknown daughter-in-law who was meant to join the family.
"The drawing-room must be refurnished when Osborne marries"—or "Osborne's wife will like to have the west suite of rooms to herself; it will perhaps be a trial to her to live with the old couple; but we must arrange it so that she will feel it as little as possible."—"Of course, when Mrs. Osborne comes we must try and give her a new carriage; the old one does well enough for us."—These, and similar speeches had given Molly the impression of the future Mrs. Osborne as of some beautiful grand young lady, whose very presence would make the old Hall into a stately, formal mansion, instead of the pleasant, unceremonious home that it was at present. Osborne, too, who had spoken with such languid criticism to Mrs. Gibson about various country belles, and even in his own home was apt to give himself airs—only at home his airs were poetically fastidious, while with Mrs. Gibson they had been socially fastidious—what unspeakably elegant beauty had he chosen for his wife? Who had satisfied him; and yet satisfying him, had to have her marriage kept in concealment from his parents? At length Molly tore herself up from her wonderings. It was of no use: she could not find out; she might not even try. The blank wall of her promise blocked up the way. Perhaps it was not even right to wonder, and endeavour to remember slight speeches, casual mentions of a name, so as to piece them together into something coherent. Molly dreaded seeing either of the brothers again; but they all met at dinner-time as if nothing had happened. The Squire was taciturn, either from melancholy or displeasure. He had never spoken to Osborne since his return, excepting about the commonest trifles, when intercourse could not be avoided; and his wife's state oppressed him like a heavy cloud coming over the light of his day. Osborne put on an indifferent manner to his father, which Molly felt sure was assumed; but it was not conciliatory for all that. Roger, quiet, steady, and natural, talked more than all the others; but he too was uneasy, and in distress on many accounts. To-day he principally addressed himself to Molly; entering into rather long narrations of late discoveries in natural history, which kept up the current of talk without requiring much reply from any one. Molly had expected Osborne to look something different from usual—conscious, or ashamed, or resentful, or even "married"—but he was exactly the Osborne of the morning—handsome, elegant, languid in manner and in look; cordial with his brother, polite towards her, secretly uneasy at the state of things between his father and himself. She would never have guessed the concealed romance which lay perdu under that every-day behaviour. She had always wished to come into direct contact with a love-story: here she had, and she only found it very uncomfortable; there was a sense of concealment and uncertainty about it all; and her honest straightforward father, her quiet life at Hollingford, which, even with all its drawbacks, was above-board, and where everybody knew what everybody was doing, seemed secure and pleasant in comparison. Of course she felt great pain at quitting the Hall, and at the mute farewell she had taken of her sleeping and unconscious friend. But leaving Mrs. Hamley now was a different thing to what it had been a fortnight ago. Then she was wanted at any moment, and felt herself to be of comfort. Now her very existence seemed forgotten by the poor lady whose body appeared to be living so long after her soul.
"The drawing-room needs to be redecorated when Osborne gets married"—or "Osborne's wife will want the west suite of rooms to herself; it might be a challenge for her to live with the older couple, but we'll make it so she feels it as little as possible."—"Of course, when Mrs. Osborne arrives, we should try to get her a new carriage; the old one is just fine for us."—These and similar comments made Molly picture the future Mrs. Osborne as a beautiful young lady whose mere presence would transform the old Hall into a grand, formal mansion instead of the cozy, informal home it currently was. Osborne, who had spoken with such detached criticism to Mrs. Gibson about various local beauties, and even in his own home had been known to act superior—though at home his superiority was poetically particular, while with Mrs. Gibson it had been socially snobbish—what incredibly refined beauty had he chosen for his wife? Who could satisfy him, yet needed to keep her marriage hidden from his parents? Eventually, Molly pulled herself away from her thoughts. It was pointless: she couldn't find out; she wasn’t even allowed to try. The blank wall of her promise blocked her path. Maybe it wasn't even right to wonder or try to piece together vague remarks and casual mentions of a name into something coherent. Molly dreaded seeing either of the brothers again; yet they all gathered for dinner as if nothing had happened. The Squire was quiet, either from sadness or displeasure. He hadn't spoken to Osborne since his return, except for trivial chatter when conversation couldn't be avoided; his wife's condition weighed on him like a heavy cloud blocking the sunlight of his day. Osborne acted indifferent toward his father, which Molly was sure was just an act; but it wasn’t conciliatory in any way. Roger, calm, steady, and genuine, talked more than everyone else; yet he, too, felt uneasy and distressed for various reasons. Today, he mainly focused on Molly, sharing lengthy accounts of recent findings in natural history that kept the conversation flowing without requiring much response from anyone. Molly had expected Osborne to appear somewhat different than usual—maybe conscious, embarrassed, resentful, or even "married"—but he was just the same Osborne as in the morning—handsome, elegant, casually languid in manner and appearance; friendly with his brother, polite to her, but secretly anxious about the tension with his father. She would never have guessed the hidden romance lurking perdu beneath that everyday behavior. She had always wanted to experience a love story firsthand: now she had one, and it felt very uncomfortable; there was a sense of secrecy and uncertainty about it all; and her straightforward, honest father, her quiet life in Hollingford, which, despite its flaws, was open and where everyone knew each other's business, seemed secure and pleasant by comparison. Of course, she felt great sorrow about leaving the Hall and the silent farewell she had given her sleeping and unaware friend. But leaving Mrs. Hamley now felt very different than it had two weeks ago. Back then, she was needed at any moment and felt useful. Now her very existence seemed forgotten by the poor lady whose body seemed to linger long after her soul had departed.
She was sent home in the carriage, loaded with true thanks from every one of the family. Osborne ransacked the greenhouses for flowers for her; Roger had chosen her out books of every kind. The Squire himself kept shaking her hand, without being able to speak his gratitude, till at last he took her in his arms, and kissed her as he would have done a daughter.
She was sent home in the carriage, filled with genuine thanks from everyone in the family. Osborne searched the greenhouses for flowers for her; Roger picked out books of all kinds for her. The Squire himself kept shaking her hand, unable to express his gratitude in words, until finally he took her in his arms and kissed her as he would have done with a daughter.
CHAPTER XIX.
CYNTHIA'S ARRIVAL.
Molly's father was not at home when she returned; and there was no one to give her a welcome. Mrs. Gibson was out paying calls, the servants told Molly. She went upstairs to her own room, meaning to unpack and arrange her borrowed books. Rather to her surprise she saw the chamber, corresponding to her own, being dusted; water and towels too were being carried in.
Molly's father wasn't home when she got back, and there was no one there to welcome her. The servants told Molly that Mrs. Gibson was out visiting. She went up to her own room, planning to unpack and organize her borrowed books. To her surprise, she saw the room next to hers being dusted; water and towels were also being brought in.
"Is any one coming?" she asked of the housemaid.
"Is anyone coming?" she asked the housemaid.
"Missus's daughter from France. Miss Kirkpatrick is coming to-morrow."
"Mrs. Kirkpatrick's daughter from France is coming tomorrow."
Was Cynthia coming at last? Oh, what a pleasure it would be to have a companion, a girl, a sister of her own age! Molly's depressed spirits sprang up again with bright elasticity. She longed for Mrs. Gibson's return, to ask her all about it: it must be very sudden, for Mr. Gibson had said nothing of it at the Hall the day before. No quiet reading now; the books were hardly put away with Molly's usual neatness. She went down into the drawing-room, and could not settle to anything. At last Mrs. Gibson came home, tired out with her walk and her heavy velvet cloak. Until that was taken off, and she had rested herself for a few minutes, she seemed quite unable to attend to Molly's questions.
Was Cynthia finally coming? Oh, what a joy it would be to have a companion, a girl, a sister her own age! Molly's spirits lifted again with a bright bounce. She was eager for Mrs. Gibson to return so she could ask her everything about it: it must have happened very suddenly since Mr. Gibson hadn’t mentioned it at the Hall the day before. No more quiet reading; the books were hardly put away with Molly's usual neatness. She headed down to the drawing room and couldn’t focus on anything. Finally, Mrs. Gibson came home, worn out from her walk and her heavy velvet cloak. Until that was taken off and she had rested for a few minutes, she seemed completely unable to deal with Molly's questions.
"Oh, yes! Cynthia is coming home to-morrow, by the 'Umpire,' which passes through at ten o'clock. What an oppressive day it is for the time of the year! I really am almost ready to faint. Cynthia heard of some opportunity, I believe, and was only too glad to leave school a fortnight earlier than we planned. She never gave me the chance of writing to say I did, or did not, like her coming so much before the time; and I shall have to pay for her just the same as if she had stopped. And I meant to have asked her to bring me a French bonnet; and then you could have had one made after mine. But I'm very glad she's coming, poor dear."
"Oh, yes! Cynthia is coming home tomorrow on the 'Umpire,' which arrives at ten o'clock. What a hot day it is for this time of year! I honestly feel like I might faint. I think Cynthia found some opportunity and was really happy to leave school two weeks earlier than we planned. She didn’t give me a chance to write and say whether I liked her coming home early or not; and I’ll have to pay for her just like I would have if she'd stayed. I meant to ask her to bring me a French hat; then you could have had one made like mine. But I’m really glad she’s coming, the poor dear."
"Is anything the matter with her?" asked Molly.
"Is something wrong with her?" asked Molly.
"Oh, no! Why should there be?"
"Oh, no! Why should there be?"
"You called her 'poor dear,' and it made me afraid lest she might be ill."
"You called her 'poor thing,' and it made me worried she might be sick."
"Oh, no! It's only a way I got into, when Mr. Kirkpatrick died. A fatherless girl—you know one always does call them 'poor dears.' Oh, no! Cynthia never is ill. She's as strong as a horse. She never would have felt to-day as I have done. Could you get me a glass of wine and a biscuit, my dear? I'm really quite faint."
"Oh, no! It’s just something I fell into when Mr. Kirkpatrick died. A girl without a father—you know, people always say 'poor thing.' Oh, no! Cynthia is never sick. She’s as strong as an ox. She wouldn’t have felt today like I do. Could you get me a glass of wine and a biscuit, my dear? I’m feeling quite faint."
Mr. Gibson was much more excited about Cynthia's arrival than her own mother was. He anticipated her coming as a great pleasure to Molly, on whom, in spite of his recent marriage and his new wife, his interests principally centred. He even found time to run upstairs and see the bedrooms of the two girls; for the furniture of which he had paid a pretty round sum.
Mr. Gibson was way more excited about Cynthia's arrival than her own mother was. He thought her coming would be a big treat for Molly, who, even with his recent marriage and new wife, still had his main focus. He even found time to go upstairs and check out the bedrooms of the two girls, for which he had spent quite a bit of money on the furniture.
"Well, I suppose young ladies like their bedrooms decked out in this way! It's very pretty certainly, but—"
"Well, I guess young ladies like their bedrooms decorated like this! It's definitely very pretty, but—
"I liked my own old room better, papa; but perhaps Cynthia is accustomed to such decking up."
"I liked my old room better, Dad; but maybe Cynthia is used to that kind of decorating."
"Perhaps; at any rate, she'll see we've tried to make it pretty. Yours is like hers. That's right. It might have hurt her, if hers had been smarter than yours. Now, good-night in your fine flimsy bed."
"Maybe; either way, she’ll see we tried to make it nice. Yours is like hers. That’s right. It could have hurt her if hers had been better than yours. Now, good night in your nice but delicate bed."
Molly was up betimes—almost before it was light—arranging her pretty Hamley flowers in Cynthia's room. She could hardly eat her breakfast that morning. She ran upstairs and put on her things, thinking that Mrs. Gibson was quite sure to go down to the "George Inn," where the "Umpire" stopped, to meet her daughter after a two years' absence. But, to her surprise, Mrs. Gibson had arranged herself at her great worsted-work frame, just as usual; and she, in her turn, was astonished at Molly's bonnet and cloak.
Molly got up early—almost before it was light—arranging her pretty Hamley flowers in Cynthia's room. She could barely eat her breakfast that morning. She ran upstairs and got dressed, thinking that Mrs. Gibson would definitely go down to the "George Inn," where the "Umpire" was staying, to meet her daughter after two years apart. But, to her surprise, Mrs. Gibson was sitting at her large worsted-work frame, just like always; and she, in turn, was surprised by Molly's bonnet and cloak.
"Where are you going so early, child? The fog hasn't cleared away yet."
"Where are you headed so early, kid? The fog still hasn't cleared."
"I thought you would go and meet Cynthia; and I wanted to go with you."
"I thought you were going to meet Cynthia, and I wanted to come with you."
"She will be here in half an hour; and dear papa has told the gardener to take the wheelbarrow down for her luggage. I'm not sure if he is not gone himself."
"She'll be here in half an hour, and dear Dad has told the gardener to take the wheelbarrow down for her bags. I'm not sure if he's gone down himself."
"Then are not you going?" asked Molly, with a good deal of disappointment.
"Are you not going?" Molly asked, feeling quite disappointed.
"No, certainly not. She will be here almost directly. And, besides, I don't like to expose my feelings to every passer-by in High Street. You forget I have not seen her for two years, and I hate scenes in the market-place."
"No, definitely not. She'll be here any minute now. Plus, I don't want to show my feelings to every random person on High Street. You forget I haven't seen her in two years, and I really dislike dramatic moments in public."
She settled herself to her work again; and Molly, after some consideration, gave up her own going, and employed herself in looking out of the downstairs window which commanded the approach from the town.
She got back to her work; and after thinking it over, Molly decided not to go and focused on watching from the downstairs window that overlooked the road coming from town.
"Here she is—here she is!" she cried out at last. Her father was walking by the side of a tall young lady; William the gardener was wheeling along a great cargo of baggage. Molly flew to the front-door, and had it wide open to admit the new-comer some time before she arrived.
"Here she is—here she is!" she shouted at last. Her dad was walking alongside a tall young woman; William the gardener was pushing a large load of luggage. Molly ran to the front door and had it wide open to welcome the newcomer well before she arrived.
"Well! here she is. Molly, this is Cynthia. Cynthia, Molly. You're to be sisters, you know."
"Well! Here she is. Molly, this is Cynthia. Cynthia, this is Molly. You two are going to be sisters, you know."
Molly saw the beautiful, tall, swaying figure, against the light of the open door, but could not see any of the features that were, for the moment, in shadow. A sudden gush of shyness had come over her just at the instant, and quenched the embrace she would have given a moment before. But Cynthia took her in her arms, and kissed her on both cheeks.
Molly saw the beautiful, tall, swaying figure against the light of the open door but couldn’t make out any features, which were momentarily in shadow. A sudden wave of shyness washed over her right then, stopping her from giving the hug she would have just a moment before. But Cynthia pulled her in for a hug and kissed her on both cheeks.
"Here's mamma," she said, looking beyond Molly on to the stairs where Mrs. Gibson stood, wrapped up in a shawl, and shivering in the cold. She ran past Molly and Mr. Gibson, who rather averted their eyes from this first greeting between mother and child.
"Here's mom," she said, looking past Molly to the stairs where Mrs. Gibson stood, bundled up in a shawl and shivering in the cold. She ran past Molly and Mr. Gibson, who both turned their eyes away from this first greeting between mother and child.
Mrs. Gibson said—
Mrs. Gibson said—
"Why, how you are grown, darling! You look quite a woman."
"Wow, you've really grown up, sweetheart! You look like a total woman now."
"And so I am," said Cynthia. "I was before I went away; I've hardly grown since,—except, it is always to be hoped, in wisdom."
"And so I am," said Cynthia. "I was that way before I left; I’ve hardly changed since—except, hopefully, I've gained some wisdom."
"Yes! That we will hope," said Mrs. Gibson, in rather a meaning way. Indeed there were evidently hidden allusions in their seeming commonplace speeches. When they all came into the full light and repose of the drawing-room, Molly was absorbed in the contemplation of Cynthia's beauty. Perhaps her features were not regular; but the changes in her expressive countenance gave one no time to think of that. Her smile was perfect; her pouting charming; the play of the face was in the mouth. Her eyes were beautifully shaped, but their expression hardly seemed to vary. In colouring she was not unlike her mother; only she had not so much of the red-haired tints in her complexion; and her long-shaped, serious grey eyes were fringed with dark lashes, instead of her mother's insipid flaxen ones. Molly fell in love with her, so to speak, on the instant. She sate there warming her feet and hands, as much at her ease as if she had been there all her life; not particularly attending to her mother—who, all the time, was studying either her or her dress—measuring Molly and Mr. Gibson with grave observant looks, as if guessing how she should like them.
"Yes! We can hope for that," said Mrs. Gibson, with a meaningful expression. There were clearly hidden references in their seemingly ordinary conversation. When they all settled into the bright and relaxed atmosphere of the drawing-room, Molly couldn't take her eyes off Cynthia's beauty. Maybe her features weren't perfectly symmetrical, but the changes on her expressive face kept you from noticing. Her smile was flawless; her playful pout was delightful; the movement of her mouth was captivating. Her eyes were beautifully shaped, but their expression hardly changed. In terms of coloring, she resembled her mother, but she didn't have as much of the red tones in her complexion. Her long, serious gray eyes were framed with dark lashes, unlike her mother's dull flaxen ones. Molly instantly fell for her, so to speak. She sat there warming her hands and feet, completely at ease as if she had been there her whole life, not paying much mind to her mother—who was, all the while, studying either her or her outfit—carefully observing Molly and Mr. Gibson with serious, watchful looks, as if trying to assess how she would feel about them.
"There's hot breakfast ready for you in the dining-room, when you are ready for it," said Mr. Gibson. "I'm sure you must want it after your night journey." He looked round at his wife, at Cynthia's mother, but she did not seem inclined to leave the warm room again.
"There's a hot breakfast waiting for you in the dining room whenever you're ready," Mr. Gibson said. "I’m sure you’re hungry after your overnight trip." He glanced over at his wife and Cynthia's mother, but she didn’t seem interested in leaving the cozy room again.
"Molly will take you to your room, darling," said she; "it is near hers, and she has got her things to take off. I'll come down and sit in the dining-room while you are having your breakfast, but I really am afraid of the cold now."
"Molly will show you to your room, darling," she said. "It's close to hers, and she needs to take off her things. I'll come down and sit in the dining room while you have your breakfast, but I'm really afraid of the cold now."
Cynthia rose and followed Molly upstairs.
Cynthia got up and went upstairs after Molly.
"I'm so sorry there isn't a fire for you," said Molly, "but—I suppose it wasn't ordered; and, of course, I don't give any orders. Here is some hot water, though."
"I'm really sorry there isn't a fire for you," Molly said, "but I guess it wasn't requested; and, of course, I don't make any requests. Here is some hot water, though."
"Stop a minute," said Cynthia, getting hold of both Molly's hands, and looking steadily into her face, but in such a manner that she did not dislike the inspection.
"Hold on a second," Cynthia said, grabbing both of Molly's hands and looking intently into her face, but in a way that made her feel okay with the attention.
"I think I shall like you. I am so glad! I was afraid I should not. We're all in a very awkward position together, aren't we? I like your father's looks, though."
"I think I'm going to like you. I'm really glad! I was worried I wouldn't. We're all in a pretty awkward situation together, aren't we? But I do like how your father looks, though."
Molly could not help smiling at the way this was said. Cynthia replied to her smile.
Molly couldn't help but smile at how that was said. Cynthia smiled back at her.
"Ah, you may laugh. But I don't know that I am easy to get on with; mamma and I didn't suit when we were last together. But perhaps we are each of us wiser now. Now, please leave me for a quarter of an hour. I don't want anything more."
"Sure, you can laugh. But I don’t think I'm easy to get along with; my mom and I didn’t get along the last time we were together. But maybe we’re both wiser now. Now, please leave me alone for fifteen minutes. I don’t want anything else."
Molly went into her own room, waiting to show Cynthia down to the dining-room. Not that, in the moderate-sized house, there was any difficulty in finding the way. A very little trouble in conjecturing would enable a stranger to discover any room. But Cynthia had so captivated Molly, that she wanted to devote herself to the new-comer's service. Ever since she had heard of the probability of her having a sister—(she called her a sister, but whether it was a Scotch sister, or a sister à la mode de Brétagne, would have puzzled most people)—Molly had allowed her fancy to dwell much on the idea of Cynthia's coming; and in the short time since they had met, Cynthia's unconscious power of fascination had been exercised upon her. Some people have this power. Of course, its effects are only manifested in the susceptible. A school-girl may be found in every school who attracts and influences all the others, not by her virtues, nor her beauty, nor her sweetness, nor her cleverness, but by something that can neither be described nor reasoned upon. It is the something alluded to in the old lines:—
Molly went into her room, waiting to lead Cynthia down to the dining room. Not that there was any trouble finding the way in the moderately sized house. A little guessing would help any stranger locate any room. But Cynthia had so captivated Molly that she wanted to dedicate herself to helping the newcomer. Ever since she heard about the possibility of having a sister—(she referred to her as a sister, but whether she was a Scottish sister or a sister à la mode de Brétagne would have confused most people)—Molly had let her imagination linger on the thought of Cynthia’s arrival; and in the short time since they met, Cynthia's natural ability to captivate had worked on her. Some people have this power. Of course, its effects are only seen in those who are easily influenced. There’s always a schoolgirl in every school who attracts and influences all the others, not by her virtues, looks, sweetness, or cleverness, but by something that can't be defined or explained. It is the something mentioned in the old lines:—
Love me not for comely grace, For my pleasing eye and face; No, nor for my constant heart,— For these may change, and turn to ill, And thus true love may sever. But love me on, and know not why, So hast thou the same reason still To dote upon me ever. |
A woman will have this charm, not only over men but over her own sex; it cannot be defined, or rather it is so delicate a mixture of many gifts and qualities that it is impossible to decide on the proportions of each. Perhaps it is incompatible with very high principle; as its essence seems to consist in the most exquisite power of adaptation to varying people and still more various moods; "being all things to all men." At any rate, Molly might soon have been aware that Cynthia was not remarkable for unflinching morality; but the glamour thrown over her would have prevented Molly from any attempt at penetrating into and judging her companion's character, even had such processes been the least in accordance with her own disposition.
A woman has this charm, not just over men but over other women too; it can't be clearly defined, or rather, it's such a delicate blend of various gifts and qualities that it's impossible to determine the exact proportions of each. It might not align with very strong principles; its essence seems to lie in the amazing ability to adapt to different people and even more varied moods, "being all things to all people." Anyway, Molly might soon have noticed that Cynthia wasn’t known for her strong sense of morality; however, the allure surrounding her would have stopped Molly from trying to understand and judge her friend's character, even if that kind of analysis matched her usual nature.
Cynthia was very beautiful, and was so well aware of this fact that she had forgotten to care about it; no one with such loveliness ever appeared so little conscious of it. Molly would watch her perpetually as she moved about the room, with the free stately step of some wild animal of the forest—moving almost, as it were, to the continual sound of music. Her dress, too, though now to our ideas it would be considered ugly and disfiguring, was suited to her complexion and figure, and the fashion of it subdued within due bounds by her exquisite taste. It was inexpensive enough, and the changes in it were but few. Mrs. Gibson professed herself shocked to find that Cynthia had but four gowns, when she might have stocked herself so well, and brought over so many useful French patterns, if she had but patiently waited for her mother's answer to the letter which she had sent, announcing her return by the opportunity madame had found for her. Molly was hurt for Cynthia at all these speeches; she thought they implied that the pleasure which her mother felt in seeing her a fortnight sooner after her two years' absence was inferior to that which she would have received from a bundle of silver-paper patterns. But Cynthia took no apparent notice of the frequent recurrence of these small complaints. Indeed, she received much of what her mother said with a kind of complete indifference, that made Mrs. Gibson hold her rather in awe; and she was much more communicative to Molly than to her own child. With regard to dress, however, Cynthia soon showed that she was her mother's own daughter in the manner in which she could use her deft and nimble fingers. She was a capital workwoman; and, unlike Molly, who excelled in plain sewing, but had no notion of dressmaking or millinery, she could repeat the fashions she had only seen in passing along the streets of Boulogne, with one or two pretty rapid movements of her hands, as she turned and twisted the ribbons and gauze her mother furnished her with. So she refurbished Mrs. Gibson's wardrobe; doing it all in a sort of contemptuous manner, the source of which Molly could not quite make out.
Cynthia was very beautiful, and she was so aware of it that she had stopped caring; no one so lovely ever appeared so unaware of it. Molly would constantly watch her as she moved around the room, with the graceful, regal stride of some wild animal in the forest—almost as if she was always accompanied by music. Her dress, which might be seen as ugly and unflattering by today's standards, actually suited her complexion and figure, with its fashion carefully polished by her exquisite taste. It was affordable enough, and the variations in it were few. Mrs. Gibson was shocked to realize that Cynthia only had four gowns when she could have stocked up so well, bringing back many useful French patterns if she had just waited patiently for her mother's reply to the letter she sent announcing her return via the opportunity Madame had found for her. Molly felt hurt for Cynthia by all these comments; she thought they suggested that the joy her mother felt in seeing her two weeks sooner after a two-year absence was less important than receiving a bundle of silver-paper patterns. But Cynthia didn’t seem to notice the frequent small complaints. In fact, she responded to much of what her mother said with a kind of complete indifference that made Mrs. Gibson feel somewhat intimidated; she was much more open with Molly than with her own daughter. When it came to fashion, however, Cynthia quickly proved she was her mother's daughter in the way she skillfully used her quick fingers. She was a fantastic seamstress; unlike Molly, who excelled in basic sewing but had no clue about dressmaking or millinery, Cynthia could recreate the styles she had only glimpsed while walking the streets of Boulogne, with just a couple of swift movements of her hands as she twisted and turned the ribbons and gauze her mother provided her. So she revamped Mrs. Gibson's wardrobe; she did it all with a sort of disdain that Molly couldn’t quite understand.
Day after day the course of these small frivolities was broken in upon by the news Mr. Gibson brought of Mrs. Hamley's nearer approach to death. Molly—very often sitting by Cynthia, and surrounded by ribbon, and wire, and net—heard the bulletins like the toll of a funeral bell at a marriage feast. Her father sympathized with her. It was the loss of a dear friend to him too; but he was so accustomed to death, that it seemed to him but as it was, the natural end of all things human. To Molly, the death of some one she had known so well and loved so much, was a sad and gloomy phenomenon. She loathed the small vanities with which she was surrounded, and would wander out into the frosty garden, and pace the walk, which was both sheltered and concealed by evergreens.
Day after day, the flow of these small distractions was interrupted by the news Mr. Gibson brought about Mrs. Hamley's worsening condition. Molly—often sitting with Cynthia, surrounded by ribbons, wire, and net—received the updates like the toll of a funeral bell at a wedding celebration. Her father empathized with her. It was the loss of a dear friend to him as well, but he was so used to death that he saw it as just a natural part of life. For Molly, losing someone she had known so well and cared for so deeply was a sad and dark experience. She disliked the trivialities around her and would step out into the frosty garden, pacing along the path that was both sheltered and hidden by evergreens.
At length—and yet it was not so long, not a fortnight since Molly had left the Hall—the end came. Mrs. Hamley had sunk out of life as gradually as she had sunk out of consciousness and her place in this world. The quiet waves closed over her, and her place knew her no more.
At last—and it wasn’t really that long, just a little less than two weeks since Molly had left the Hall—the end came. Mrs. Hamley faded away from life as slowly as she had faded from awareness and her place in this world. The gentle waves covered her, and her absence was felt no more.
"They all sent their love to you, Molly," said her father. "Roger said he knew how you would feel it."
"They all sent their love to you, Molly," her father said. "Roger said he knew how you would feel about it."
Mr. Gibson had come in very late, and was having a solitary dinner in the dining-room. Molly was sitting near him to keep him company. Cynthia and her mother were upstairs. The latter was trying on a head-dress which Cynthia had made for her.
Mr. Gibson had come home quite late and was having dinner alone in the dining room. Molly was sitting nearby to keep him company. Cynthia and her mom were upstairs. The latter was trying on a headpiece that Cynthia had made for her.
Molly remained downstairs after her father had gone out afresh on his final round among his town patients. The fire was growing very low, and the lights were waning. Cynthia came softly in, and taking Molly's listless hand, that hung down by her side, sat at her feet on the rug, chafing her chilly fingers without speaking. The tender action thawed the tears that had been gathering heavily at Molly's heart, and they came dropping down her cheeks.
Molly stayed downstairs after her father had left again for his last rounds with his patients in town. The fire was burning low, and the lights were dimming. Cynthia quietly entered, took Molly's limp hand that hung at her side, and sat down at her feet on the rug, warming her cold fingers without saying a word. This gentle gesture melted away the tears that had been pooling heavily in Molly's heart, and they began to fall down her cheeks.
"You loved her dearly, did you not, Molly?"
"You loved her a lot, didn't you, Molly?"
"Yes," sobbed Molly; and then there was a silence.
"Yeah," cried Molly, and then there was a silence.
"Had you known her long?"
"Did you know her long?"
"No, not a year. But I had seen a great deal of her. I was almost like a daughter to her; she said so. Yet I never bid her good-by, or anything. Her mind became weak and confused."
"No, not a year. But I had seen a lot of her. I was almost like a daughter to her; she said so. Yet I never said goodbye or anything. Her mind became weak and confused."
"She had only sons, I think?"
"She only had sons, I think?"
"No; only Mr. Osborne and Mr. Roger Hamley. She had a daughter once—'Fanny.' Sometimes, in her illness, she used to call me 'Fanny.'"
"No; just Mr. Osborne and Mr. Roger Hamley. She had a daughter once—'Fanny.' Sometimes, when she was sick, she would call me 'Fanny.'"
The two girls were silent for some time, both gazing into the fire. Cynthia spoke first:—
The two girls sat quietly for a while, both staring into the fire. Cynthia spoke first:—
"I wish I could love people as you do, Molly!"
"I wish I could love people the way you do, Molly!"
"Don't you?" said the other, in surprise.
"Don't you?" said the other, surprised.
"No. A good number of people love me, I believe, or at least they think they do; but I never seem to care much for any one. I do believe I love you, little Molly, whom I have only known for ten days, better than any one."
"No. I think a lot of people love me, or at least they think they do; but I never really seem to care much for anyone. I truly believe I love you, little Molly, whom I've only known for ten days, more than anyone else."
"Not than your mother?" said Molly, in grave astonishment.
"Not your mother?" Molly exclaimed, in serious shock.
"Yes, than my mother!" replied Cynthia, half-smiling. "It's very shocking, I daresay; but it is so. Now, don't go and condemn me. I don't think love for one's mother quite comes by nature; and remember how much I have been separated from mine! I loved my father, if you will," she continued, with the force of truth in her tone, and then she stopped; "but he died when I was quite a little thing, and no one believes that I remember him. I heard mamma say to a caller, not a fortnight after his funeral, 'Oh, no, Cynthia is too young; she has quite forgotten him'—and I bit my lips, to keep from crying out, 'Papa! papa! have I?' But it's of no use. Well, then mamma had to go out as a governess; she couldn't help it, poor thing! but she didn't much care for parting with me. I was a trouble, I daresay. So I was sent to school at four years old; first one school, and then another; and in the holidays, mamma went to stay at grand houses, and I was generally left with the schoolmistresses. Once I went to the Towers; and mamma lectured me continually, and yet I was very naughty, I believe. And so I never went again; and I was very glad of it, for it was a horrid place."
"Yes, more than my mother!" Cynthia replied, half-smiling. "It's really shocking, I know; but that's the truth. Now, don't go judging me. I don't think love for your mother comes naturally; and remember how much time I've spent away from mine! I loved my father, if you want to believe it," she continued, her tone filled with sincerity, and then she paused. "But he died when I was very young, and no one thinks I remember him. I heard my mom tell a visitor, not even two weeks after his funeral, 'Oh, no, Cynthia is too young; she's completely forgotten him'—and I bit my lips to keep from crying out, 'Papa! papa! have I?' But it's pointless. Well, then my mom had to take a job as a governess; she couldn't help it, poor thing! but she wasn't really sad about leaving me. I guess I was a burden. So I was sent off to school at four years old; first one school, then another; and during the holidays, my mom would stay at fancy houses, while I was usually left with the schoolmistresses. Once I went to the Towers; and my mom lectured me constantly, and yet I think I was very naughty. So I never went back again; and I was really glad because it was a terrible place."
"That it was!" said Molly, who remembered her own day of tribulation there.
"That it was!" said Molly, recalling her own day of struggle there.
"And once I went to London, to stay with my uncle Kirkpatrick. He is a lawyer, and getting on now; but then he was poor enough, and had six or seven children. It was winter-time, and we were all shut up in a small house in Doughty Street. But, after all, that wasn't so bad."
"And once I went to London to stay with my uncle Kirkpatrick. He's a lawyer and doing well now, but back then he was pretty poor and had six or seven kids. It was winter, and we were all stuck in a small house on Doughty Street. But honestly, it wasn't so bad."
"But then you lived with your mother when she began school at Ashcombe. Mr. Preston told me that, when I stayed that day at the Manor-house."
"But then you lived with your mom when she started school at Ashcombe. Mr. Preston told me that when I stayed that day at the Manor house."
"What did he tell you?" asked Cynthia, almost fiercely.
"What did he say to you?" Cynthia asked, almost aggressively.
"Nothing but that. Oh, yes! He praised your beauty, and wanted me to tell you what he had said."
"Nothing more than that. Oh, yes! He complimented your beauty and asked me to let you know what he said."
"I should have hated you if you had," said Cynthia.
"I would have hated you if you had," said Cynthia.
"Of course I never thought of doing such a thing," replied Molly. "I didn't like him; and Lady Harriet spoke of him the next day, as if he wasn't a person to be liked."
"Of course I never thought of doing something like that," replied Molly. "I didn't like him; and Lady Harriet talked about him the next day as if he wasn't someone to like."
Cynthia was quite silent. At length she said,—
Cynthia was very quiet. After a while, she said,—
"I wish I was good!"
"I wish I were good!"
"So do I," said Molly, simply. She was thinking again of Mrs. Hamley,—
"So do I," said Molly, simply. She was thinking again of Mrs. Hamley,—
Only the actions of the just Smell sweet and blossom in the dust, |
and "goodness" just then seemed to her to be the only enduring thing in the world.
and "goodness" at that moment felt to her like the only lasting thing in the world.
"Nonsense, Molly! You are good. At least, if you're not good, what am I? There's a rule-of-three sum for you to do! But it's no use talking; I am not good, and I never shall be now. Perhaps I might be a heroine still, but I shall never be a good woman, I know."
"Nonsense, Molly! You're a good person. At least, if you're not good, what does that make me? Here’s a math problem for you to solve! But there's no point in talking; I'm not good, and I never will be now. I might still be a heroine, but I know I will never be a good woman."
"Do you think it easier to be a heroine?"
"Do you think it's easier to be a hero?"
"Yes, as far as one knows of heroines from history. I'm capable of a great jerk, an effort, and then a relaxation—but steady, every-day goodness is beyond me. I must be a moral kangaroo!"
"Yes, as far as I know about heroines from history. I can make a big effort, push myself hard, and then relax—but maintaining everyday goodness is just not my thing. I guess I must be a moral kangaroo!"
Molly could not follow Cynthia's ideas; she could not distract herself from the thoughts of the sorrowing group at the Hall.
Molly couldn't grasp Cynthia's ideas; she couldn't shake off the thoughts of the grieving group at the Hall.
"How I should like to see them all! and yet one can do nothing at such a time! Papa says the funeral is to be on Tuesday, and that, after that, Roger Hamley is to go back to Cambridge. It will seem as if nothing had happened! I wonder how the squire and Mr. Osborne Hamley will get on together."
"How I wish I could see them all! And yet there's nothing one can do at a time like this! Dad says the funeral is set for Tuesday, and that after that, Roger Hamley will go back to Cambridge. It will feel like nothing has changed! I wonder how the squire and Mr. Osborne Hamley will get along."
"He's the eldest son, is he not? Why shouldn't he and his father get on well together?"
"He's the oldest son, right? Why wouldn't he and his dad get along?"
"Oh! I don't know. That is to say, I do know, but I think I ought not to tell."
"Oh! I don't know. Well, I do know, but I feel like I shouldn't say."
"Don't be so pedantically truthful, Molly. Besides, your manner shows when you speak truth and when you speak falsehood, without troubling yourself to use words. I knew exactly what your 'I don't know' meant. I never consider myself bound to be truthful, so I beg we may be on equal terms."
"Stop being so annoyingly honest, Molly. Also, the way you talk shows when you're being truthful and when you're lying, even without using words. I knew exactly what you meant by 'I don't know.' I never feel obligated to be completely honest, so let's just agree to be on the same level."
Cynthia might well say she did not consider herself bound to be truthful; she literally said what came uppermost, without caring very much whether it was accurate or not. But there was no ill-nature, and, in a general way, no attempt at procuring any advantage for herself in all her deviations; and there was often such a latent sense of fun in them that Molly could not help being amused with them in fact, though she condemned them in theory. Cynthia's playfulness of manner glossed such failings over with a kind of charm; and yet, at times, she was so soft and sympathetic that Molly could not resist her, even when she affirmed the most startling things. The little account she made of her own beauty pleased Mr. Gibson extremely; and her pretty deference to him won his heart. She was restless too, till she had attacked Molly's dress, after she had remodelled her mother's.
Cynthia might say she didn’t feel obligated to be honest; she just said whatever came to mind, without really worrying about whether it was true or not. But there was no malice, and generally no effort to gain anything for herself in all her inconsistencies; and often there was such a hidden sense of fun in them that Molly couldn’t help but be amused, even though she disapproved of them in principle. Cynthia’s playful demeanor made her flaws seem charming, and yet, at times, she was so soft and understanding that Molly couldn’t resist her, even when she made the most shocking statements. The way Cynthia downplayed her own beauty really pleased Mr. Gibson, and her sweet respect for him won his affection. She was also restless until she had a chance to work on Molly’s dress after she had revamped her mother’s.
"Now for you, sweet one," said she as she began upon one of Molly's gowns. "I've been working as connoisseur until now; now I begin as amateur."
"Now for you, sweetie," she said as she started on one of Molly's dresses. "I've been working as an expert until now; now I’ll start as a beginner."
She brought down her pretty artificial flowers, plucked out of her own best bonnet to put into Molly's, saying they would suit her complexion, and that a knot of ribbons would do well enough for her. All the time she worked, she sang; she had a sweet voice in singing, as well as in speaking, and used to run up and down her gay French chansons without any difficulty; so flexible in the art was she. Yet she did not seem to care for music. She rarely touched the piano, on which Molly practised with daily conscientiousness. Cynthia was always willing to answer questions about her previous life, though, after the first, she rarely alluded to it of herself; but she was a most sympathetic listener to all Molly's innocent confidences of joys and sorrows: sympathizing even to the extent of wondering how she could endure Mr. Gibson's second marriage, and why she did not take some active steps of rebellion.
She took down her pretty fake flowers, plucked them from her own favorite hat to put into Molly's, saying they would match her complexion, and that a bunch of ribbons would be just fine for her. While she worked, she sang; she had a lovely voice for singing as well as speaking, and she effortlessly sang her cheerful French chansons; she was very skilled in that art. Still, she didn't seem to care much for music. She rarely played the piano, which Molly practiced on every day with dedication. Cynthia was always happy to answer questions about her past, but after the first one, she seldom brought it up herself; however, she listened sympathetically to all of Molly's innocent sharing of joys and sorrows, even expressing concern about how Molly could handle Mr. Gibson's second marriage and why she hadn't taken any active steps to rebel against it.
In spite of all this agreeable and pungent variety of companionship at home, Molly yearned after the Hamleys. If there had been a woman in that family she would probably have received many little notes, and heard numerous details which were now lost to her, or summed up in condensed accounts of her father's visits at the Hall, which, since his dear patient was dead, were only occasional.
In spite of all this pleasant and lively company at home, Molly missed the Hamleys. If there had been a woman in that family, she would probably have received many little notes and heard lots of details that were now lost to her or summed up in brief accounts of her father's visits to the Hall, which, since his dear patient had died, only happened occasionally.
"Yes! The Squire is a good deal changed; but he's better than he was. There's an unspoken estrangement between him and Osborne; one can see it in the silence and constraint of their manners; but outwardly they are friendly—civil at any rate. The squire will always respect Osborne as his heir, and the future representative of the family. Osborne doesn't look well; he says he wants change. I think he's weary of the domestic dullness, or domestic dissension. But he feels his mother's death acutely. It's a wonder that he and his father are not drawn together by their common loss. Roger's away at Cambridge too—examination for the mathematical tripos. Altogether the aspect of both people and place is changed; it is but natural!"
"Yes! The Squire has changed quite a bit, but he’s better than he used to be. There’s a silent distance between him and Osborne; you can see it in how they act around each other—there's a noticeable tension. Yet, on the surface, they’re friendly—at least polite. The Squire will always respect Osborne as his heir and the future head of the family. Osborne doesn’t look well; he says he wants a change. I think he’s tired of the boredom at home or the conflicts that come with it. But he’s deeply affected by his mother’s death. It’s surprising that he and his father haven’t grown closer through their shared grief. Roger is away at Cambridge too, preparing for the math exam. Overall, everything and everyone has changed; it’s only natural!"
Such is perhaps the summing-up of the news of the Hamleys, as contained in many bulletins. They always ended in some kind message to Molly.
Such is maybe the summary of the news about the Hamleys, as found in many bulletins. They always concluded with some kind message to Molly.
Mrs. Gibson generally said, as a comment upon her husband's account of Osborne's melancholy,—
Mrs. Gibson usually remarked, as a response to her husband's description of Osborne's sadness, —
"My dear! why don't you ask him to dinner here? A little quiet dinner, you know. Cook is quite up to it; and we would all of us wear blacks and lilacs; he couldn't consider that as gaiety."
"My dear! Why don’t you invite him over for dinner? Just a small, quiet dinner, you know. The cook is more than capable; and we would all wear black and lilac; he couldn't see that as being too lively."
Mr. Gibson took no more notice of these suggestions than by shaking his head. He had grown accustomed to his wife by this time, and regarded silence on his own part as a great preservative against long inconsequential arguments. But every time that Mrs. Gibson was struck by Cynthia's beauty, she thought it more and more advisable that Mr. Osborne Hamley should be cheered up by a quiet little dinner-party. As yet no one but the ladies of Hollingford and Mr. Ashton, the vicar—that hopeless and impracticable old bachelor—had seen Cynthia; and what was the good of having a lovely daughter, if there were none but old women to admire her?
Mr. Gibson paid no attention to these suggestions, just shaking his head. By this point, he had gotten used to his wife and saw silence on his part as a good way to avoid long, pointless arguments. But every time Mrs. Gibson noticed Cynthia's beauty, she thought it would be best to cheer Mr. Osborne Hamley up with a small dinner party. So far, only the ladies of Hollingford and Mr. Ashton, the vicar—who was a hopeless and impractical old bachelor—had seen Cynthia; and what was the point of having a beautiful daughter if only old women could admire her?
Cynthia herself appeared extremely indifferent upon the subject, and took very little notice of her mother's constant talk about the gaieties that were possible, and the gaieties that were impossible, in Hollingford. She exerted herself just as much to charm the two Miss Brownings as she would have done to delight Osborne Hamley, or any other young heir. That is to say, she used no exertion, but simply followed her own nature, which was to attract every one of those she was thrown amongst. The exertion seemed rather to be to refrain from doing so, and to protest, as she often did, by slight words and expressive looks against her mother's words and humours—alike against her folly and her caresses. Molly was almost sorry for Mrs. Gibson, who seemed so unable to gain influence over her child. One day Cynthia read Molly's thought.
Cynthia herself seemed totally indifferent to the topic and paid little attention to her mother’s constant chatter about the fun things that could happen and those that couldn’t in Hollingford. She put forth the same effort to charm the two Miss Brownings as she would have to impress Osborne Hamley or any other young heir. In other words, she didn’t make any effort at all; she just acted naturally, which was to attract everyone around her. The real effort seemed to be in holding back and protesting against her mother’s comments and moods—both her silliness and her affection—through subtle words and expressive looks. Molly felt a bit sorry for Mrs. Gibson, who seemed unable to influence her daughter. One day, Cynthia picked up on Molly’s thoughts.
"I'm not good, and I told you so. Somehow, I cannot forgive her for her neglect of me as a child, when I would have clung to her. Besides, I hardly ever heard from her when I was at school. And I know she put a stop to my coming over to her wedding. I saw the letter she wrote to Madame Lefevre. A child should be brought up with its parents, if it is to think them infallible when it grows up."
"I'm not great, and I told you that. For some reason, I can't forgive her for ignoring me as a child when I would have really needed her. Plus, I barely heard from her when I was at school. I also know she stopped me from going to her wedding. I saw the letter she sent to Madame Lefevre. A child should be raised by its parents if it's supposed to think they're perfect when it gets older."
"But though it may know that there must be faults," replied Molly, "it ought to cover them over and try to forget their existence."
"But even if it knows there are flaws," Molly replied, "it should hide them and try to forget they exist."
"It ought. But don't you see I have grown up outside the pale of duty and 'oughts.' Love me as I am, sweet one, for I shall never be better."
"It should. But don’t you see, I’ve grown up outside the boundaries of duty and 'shoulds.' Love me as I am, my dear, because I’ll never be any better."
CHAPTER XX.
MRS. GIBSON'S VISITORS.
One day, to Molly's infinite surprise, Mr. Preston was announced as a caller. Mrs. Gibson and she were sitting together in the drawing-room; Cynthia was out—gone into the town a-shopping—when the door was opened, the name given, and in walked the young man. His entrance seemed to cause more confusion than Molly could well account for. He came in with the same air of easy assurance with which he had received her and her father at Ashcombe Manor-house. He looked remarkably handsome in his riding-dress, and with the open-air exercise he had just had. But Mrs. Gibson's smooth brows contracted a little at the sight of him, and her reception of him was much cooler than that which she usually gave to visitors. Yet there was a degree of agitation in it, which surprised Molly a little. Mrs. Gibson was at her everlasting worsted-work frame when Mr. Preston entered the room; but somehow in rising to receive him, she threw down her basket of crewels, and, declining Molly's offer to help her, she would pick up all the reels herself, before she asked her visitor to sit down. He stood there, hat in hand, affecting an interest in the recovery of the worsted which Molly was sure he did not feel; for all the time his eyes were glancing round the room, and taking note of the details in the arrangement.
One day, to Molly's complete surprise, Mr. Preston was announced as a visitor. Mrs. Gibson and she were sitting together in the living room; Cynthia was out shopping in town when the door was opened, the name was announced, and in walked the young man. His arrival seemed to cause more confusion than Molly could understand. He came in with the same confident demeanor he had shown when he met her and her father at Ashcombe Manor. He looked incredibly handsome in his riding outfit and after the outdoor exercise he had just had. However, Mrs. Gibson's smooth forehead furrowed a bit at the sight of him, and her greeting was much cooler than her usual welcome for guests. Yet there was a level of agitation in her reaction that surprised Molly a little. Mrs. Gibson was at her ever-present knitting frame when Mr. Preston entered the room; but somehow, as she stood to greet him, she dropped her basket of yarn, and, refusing Molly's offer to help, she insisted on picking up all the spools herself before she invited her guest to sit down. He stood there, hat in hand, pretending to be interested in the yarn recovery that Molly was sure he didn't care about; all the while, his eyes were scanning the room, taking note of the details in the setup.
At length they were seated, and conversation began.
At last, they were seated, and the conversation started.
"It is the first time I have been in Hollingford since your marriage, Mrs. Gibson, or I should certainly have called to pay my respects sooner."
"It’s my first time in Hollingford since your wedding, Mrs. Gibson, or I definitely would have come to pay my respects sooner."
"I know you are very busy at Ashcombe. I did not expect you to call. Is Lord Cumnor at the Towers? I have not heard from her ladyship for more than a week!"
"I know you are really busy at Ashcombe. I didn't expect you to call. Is Lord Cumnor at the Towers? I haven't heard from her ladyship in over a week!"
"No! he seemed still detained at Bath. But I had a letter from him giving me certain messages for Mr. Sheepshanks. Mr. Gibson is not at home, I'm afraid?"
"No! he still seems to be stuck in Bath. But I got a letter from him with some messages for Mr. Sheepshanks. Mr. Gibson isn't home, is he?"
"No. He is a great deal out—almost constantly, I may say. I had no idea that I should see so little of him. A doctor's wife leads a very solitary life, Mr. Preston!"
"No. He’s hardly ever home—almost all the time, I’d say. I had no idea I’d see so little of him. A doctor’s wife has a really lonely life, Mr. Preston!"
"You can hardly call it solitary, I should think, when you have such a companion as Miss Gibson always at hand," said he, bowing to Molly.
"You can hardly call it solitary, I think, when you have such a companion like Miss Gibson always around," he said, bowing to Molly.
"Oh, but I call it solitude for a wife when her husband is away. Poor Mr. Kirkpatrick was never happy unless I always went with him;—all his walks, all his visits, he liked me to be with him. But, somehow, Mr. Gibson feels as if I should be rather in his way."
"Oh, but I think of it as being alone for a wife when her husband is gone. Poor Mr. Kirkpatrick was never happy unless I was always with him; he liked me to join him on all his walks and visits. But, for some reason, Mr. Gibson feels like I might be somewhat in his way."
"I don't think you could ride pillion behind him on Black Bess, mamma," said Molly. "And unless you could do that, you could hardly go with him in his rounds up and down all the rough lanes."
"I don't think you could ride behind him on Black Bess, Mom," said Molly. "And unless you could do that, you could hardly go with him on his routes up and down all the rough lanes."
"Oh! but he might keep a brougham! I've often said so. And then I could use it for visiting in the evenings. Really it was one reason why I didn't go to the Hollingford Charity Ball. I couldn't bring myself to use the dirty fly from the 'George.' We really must stir papa up against next winter, Molly; it will never do for you and—"
"Oh! but he could totally get a carriage! I've said that before. Then I could use it for evening visits. Honestly, that’s one of the reasons I didn’t go to the Hollingford Charity Ball. I just couldn’t bring myself to take the dirty cab from the 'George.' We really need to motivate Dad for next winter, Molly; it won't work for you and—
She pulled herself up suddenly, and looked furtively at Mr. Preston to see if he had taken any notice of her abruptness. Of course he had, but he was not going to show it. He turned to Molly, and said,—
She suddenly sat up and glanced at Mr. Preston to see if he noticed her abruptness. Of course he did, but he wasn't going to let on. He turned to Molly and said,—
"Have you ever been to a public ball yet, Miss Gibson?"
"Have you ever been to a public ball, Miss Gibson?"
"No!" said Molly.
"No!" Molly exclaimed.
"It will be a great pleasure to you when the time comes."
"It will be a great pleasure for you when the time comes."
"I'm not sure. I shall like it if I have plenty of partners; but I'm afraid I shan't know many people."
"I'm not sure. I'd enjoy it if I have plenty of partners, but I’m worried I won’t know many people."
"And you suppose that young men haven't their own ways and means of being introduced to pretty girls?"
"And you think that young guys don't have their own ways of meeting cute girls?"
It was exactly one of the speeches Molly had disliked him for before; and delivered, too, in that kind of underbred manner which showed that it was meant to convey a personal compliment. Molly took great credit to herself for the unconcerned manner with which she went on with her tatting exactly as if she had never heard it.
It was exactly one of the speeches that Molly had disliked him for before; and it was given in that kind of rude way that made it clear it was supposed to be a personal compliment. Molly felt quite proud of the cool way she continued with her tatting, acting as if she had never heard it.
"I only hope I may be one of your partners at the first ball you go to. Pray, remember my early application for that honour, when you are overwhelmed with requests for dances."
"I really hope I can be one of your partners at the first ball you attend. Please remember my early request for that honor when you're flooded with dance requests."
"I don't choose to engage myself beforehand," said Molly, perceiving, from under her dropped eyelids, that he was leaning forward and looking at her as though he was determined to have an answer.
"I don't want to get involved ahead of time," said Molly, noticing from beneath her lowered eyelids that he was leaning forward and staring at her as if he was set on getting a response.
"Young ladies are always very cautious in fact, however modest they may be in profession," he replied, addressing himself in a nonchalant manner to Mrs. Gibson. "In spite of Miss Gibson's apprehension of not having many partners, she declines the certainty of having one. I suppose Miss Kirkpatrick will have returned from France before then?"
"Young women are generally quite careful, no matter how modest they may seem," he said, casually speaking to Mrs. Gibson. "Even though Miss Gibson worries about not having many dance partners, she refuses to accept the certainty of having one. I assume Miss Kirkpatrick will be back from France by then?"
He said these last words exactly in the same tone as he had used before; but Molly's instinct told her that he was making an effort to do so. She looked up. He was playing with his hat, almost as if he did not care to have any answer to his question. Yet he was listening acutely, and with a half smile on his face.
He said these final words in the same tone he had used earlier, but Molly sensed that he was trying hard to do so. She glanced up. He was fiddling with his hat, almost as if he didn't really want an answer to his question. Still, he was paying close attention, and there was a slight smile on his face.
Mrs. Gibson reddened a little, and hesitated,—
Mrs. Gibson blushed a bit and hesitated,—
"Yes; certainly. My daughter will be with us next winter, I believe; and I daresay she will go out with us."
"Yes, of course. I think my daughter will be with us next winter; and I’m sure she’ll join us when we go out."
"Why can't she say at once that Cynthia is here now?" asked Molly of herself, yet glad that Mr. Preston's curiosity was baffled.
"Why can't she just say that Cynthia is here now?" Molly asked herself, feeling pleased that Mr. Preston's curiosity was left unanswered.
He still smiled; but this time he looked up at Mrs. Gibson, as he asked,—"You have good news from her, I hope?"
He still smiled, but this time he looked up at Mrs. Gibson as he asked, "I hope you have good news from her?"
"Yes; very. By the way, how are our old friends the Robinsons? How often I think of their kindness to me at Ashcombe! Dear good people, I wish I could see them again."
"Yes, very much. By the way, how are our old friends the Robinsons? I think about their kindness to me at Ashcombe all the time! Such wonderful people, I wish I could see them again."
"I will certainly tell them of your kind inquiries. They are very well, I believe."
"I'll definitely let them know about your kind inquiries. I believe they're doing very well."
Just at this moment, Molly heard the familiar sound of the click and opening of the front door. She knew it must be Cynthia; and, conscious of some mysterious reason which made Mrs. Gibson wish to conceal her daughter's whereabouts from Mr. Preston, and maliciously desirous to baffle him, she rose to leave the room, and meet Cynthia on the stairs; but one of the lost crewels of worsted had entangled itself in her gown and feet, and before she had freed herself of the encumbrance, Cynthia had opened the drawing-room door, and stood in it, looking at her mother, at Molly, at Mr. Preston, but not advancing one step. Her colour, which had been brilliant the first moment of her entrance, faded away as she gazed; but her eyes—her beautiful eyes—usually so soft and grave, seemed to fill with fire, and her brows to contract, as she took the resolution to come forward and take her place among the three, who were all looking at her with different emotions. She moved calmly and slowly forwards; Mr. Preston went a step or two to meet her, his hand held out, and the whole expression of his face that of eager delight.
Just then, Molly heard the familiar sound of the front door clicking open. She knew it must be Cynthia; and, aware of some mysterious reason that made Mrs. Gibson want to hide her daughter’s whereabouts from Mr. Preston, and feeling a bit spiteful wanting to thwart him, she stood up to leave the room and meet Cynthia on the stairs. But one of the lost threads of yarn had snagged itself on her dress and feet, and before she could free herself from the mess, Cynthia had opened the drawing-room door and was standing there, looking at her mother, at Molly, at Mr. Preston, without taking a step forward. Her color, which had been bright when she first came in, faded as she stared; but her eyes—her beautiful eyes—usually so soft and serious, seemed to fill with intensity, and her brows tightened as she made the decision to come forward and take her place among the three, who were all watching her with various emotions. She moved calmly and slowly forward; Mr. Preston took a step or two to meet her, his hand outstretched, looking eager and delighted.
But she took no notice of the outstretched hand, nor of the chair that he offered her. She sate down on a little sofa in one of the windows, and called Molly to her.
But she ignored the outstretched hand and the chair he offered her. She sat down on a small sofa by one of the windows and called Molly over.
"Look at my purchases," said she. "This green ribbon was fourteen-pence a yard, this silk three shillings," and so she went on, forcing herself to speak about these trifles as if they were all the world to her, and she had no attention to throw away on her mother and her mother's visitor.
"Check out what I bought," she said. "This green ribbon was fourteen pence a yard, and this silk cost three shillings," and she kept going, making an effort to talk about these little things as if they were everything to her, completely ignoring her mother and her mother’s guest.
Mr. Preston took his cue from her. He, too, talked of the news of the day, the local gossip—but Molly, who glanced up at him from time to time, was almost alarmed by the bad expression of suppressed anger, almost amounting to vindictiveness, which entirely marred his handsome looks. She did not wish to look again; and tried rather to back up Cynthia's efforts at maintaining a separate conversation. Yet she could not help overhearing Mrs. Gibson's strain after increased civility, as if to make up for Cynthia's rudeness, and, if possible, to deprecate his anger. She talked perpetually, as though her object were to detain him; whereas, previous to Cynthia's return, she had allowed frequent pauses in the conversation, as though to give him the opportunity to take his leave.
Mr. Preston took his cue from her. He also talked about the news of the day and the local gossip—but Molly, who looked up at him occasionally, felt a bit uneasy at the intense look of suppressed anger, almost bordering on vindictiveness, that completely ruined his handsome features. She didn't want to look again and tried to support Cynthia's efforts to keep a separate conversation going. Still, she couldn't help but overhear Mrs. Gibson's attempt to be more polite, as if to compensate for Cynthia's rudeness and, if possible, to ease his anger. She talked incessantly, as if her goal was to keep him there; whereas, before Cynthia returned, she had allowed for frequent pauses in the conversation, as if to give him the chance to leave.
In the course of the conversation between them the Hamleys came up. Mrs. Gibson was never unwilling to dwell upon Molly's intimacy with this county family; and when the latter caught the sound of her own name, her stepmother was saying,—
In the course of their conversation, the Hamleys came up. Mrs. Gibson was always eager to talk about Molly's closeness with this county family; and when Molly heard her own name, her stepmother was saying,
"Poor Mrs. Hamley could hardly do without Molly; she quite looked upon her as a daughter, especially towards the last, when, I am afraid, she had a good deal of anxiety. Mr. Osborne Hamley—I daresay you have heard—he did not do so well at college, and they had expected so much—parents will, you know; but what did it signify? for he had not to earn his living! I call it a very foolish kind of ambition when a young man has not to go into a profession."
"Poor Mrs. Hamley hardly knew how to get by without Molly; she really saw her as a daughter, especially toward the end, when, I'm afraid, she was quite anxious. Mr. Osborne Hamley—I bet you've heard of him—didn't do so well in college, and they had high hopes—parents always do, you know; but what did it matter? He didn't have to support himself! I think it's a pretty pointless kind of ambition when a young man doesn't have to go into a profession."
"Well, at any rate, the Squire must be satisfied now. I saw this morning's Times, with the Cambridge examination lists in it. Isn't the second son called after his father, Roger?"
"Well, anyway, the Squire must be happy now. I saw this morning's Times, with the Cambridge exam results in it. Isn't the second son named after his father, Roger?"
"Yes," said Molly, starting up, and coming nearer.
"Yes," Molly said, sitting up and moving closer.
"He's senior wrangler, that's all," said Mr. Preston, almost as though he were vexed with himself for having anything to say that could give her pleasure. Molly went back to her seat by Cynthia.
"He's the top student, that's all," said Mr. Preston, almost as if he were annoyed with himself for saying anything that might make her happy. Molly returned to her seat next to Cynthia.
"Poor Mrs. Hamley," said she, very softly, as if to herself. Cynthia took her hand, in sympathy with Molly's sad and tender look, rather than because she understood all that was passing in her mind, nor did she quite understand it herself. A death that had come out of time; a wonder whether the dead knew what passed upon the earth they had left—the brilliant Osborne's failure, Roger's success; the vanity of human wishes,—all these thoughts, and what they suggested, were inextricably mingled up in her mind. She came to herself in a few minutes. Mr. Preston was saying all the unpleasant things he could think of about the Hamleys in a tone of false sympathy.
"Poor Mrs. Hamley," she said softly, almost to herself. Cynthia took her hand, feeling for Molly's sad and tender expression, rather than fully grasping what was going through her mind, nor did she really understand it herself. A death that seemed out of place; a wondering if the dead knew what was happening on the earth they had left behind—the brilliant Osborne's failure, Roger's success; the futility of human desires—all these thoughts, and what they implied, were all mixed up in her mind. She snapped back to reality a few minutes later. Mr. Preston was saying all the nasty things he could think of about the Hamleys in a tone of false sympathy.
"The poor old Squire—not the wisest of men—has woefully mismanaged his estate. And Osborne Hamley is too fine a gentleman to understand the means by which to improve the value of the land—even if he had the capital. A man who had practical knowledge of agriculture, and some thousands of ready money, might bring the rental up to eight thousand or so. Of course, Osborne will try and marry some one with money; the family is old and well-established, and he mustn't object to commercial descent, though I daresay the Squire will for him; but then the young fellow himself is not the man for the work. No! the family's going down fast; and it's a pity when these old Saxon houses vanish off the land; but it is 'kismet' with the Hamleys. Even the senior wrangler—if it is that Roger Hamley—he will have spent all his brains in one effort. You never hear of a senior wrangler being worth anything afterwards. He'll be a Fellow of his college, of course—that will be a livelihood for him at any rate."
"The poor old Squire—not the sharpest tool in the shed—has really messed up his estate. And Osborne Hamley is too good of a guy to figure out how to boost the land's value—even if he had the money. Someone with practical farming knowledge and a decent amount of cash could raise the rent to around eight thousand or so. Of course, Osborne will try to marry someone wealthy; the family is old and well-established, and he shouldn't care about someone's commercial background, though I bet the Squire will. But honestly, the young guy isn't cut out for that kind of work. No! The family's in a steep decline; it's a shame to see these old Saxon homes disappearing; but it seems it’s meant to be for the Hamleys. Even the senior wrangler—if it’s indeed Roger Hamley—will have used up all his smarts in one go. You never hear of a senior wrangler doing anything significant afterward. He’ll be a Fellow of his college, of course—that’ll at least provide him a living."
"I believe in senior wranglers," said Cynthia, her clear high voice ringing through the room. "And from all I've ever heard of Mr. Roger Hamley, I believe he will keep up the distinction he has earned. And I don't believe that the house of Hamley is so near extinction in wealth and fame, and good name."
"I believe in the senior wranglers," Cynthia said, her clear, high voice ringing through the room. "And from everything I've heard about Mr. Roger Hamley, I believe he'll maintain the reputation he's built. I also don’t think that the Hamley household is close to losing its wealth, fame, and good name."
"They are fortunate in having Miss Kirkpatrick's good word," said Mr. Preston, rising to take his leave.
"They're lucky to have Miss Kirkpatrick speaking well of them," said Mr. Preston, getting up to say goodbye.
"Dear Molly," said Cynthia, in a whisper, "I know nothing about your friends the Hamleys, except that they are your friends, and what you have told me about them. But I won't have that man speaking of them so—and your eyes filling with tears all the time. I'd sooner swear to their having all the talents and good fortune under the sun."
"Dear Molly," Cynthia whispered, "I don't know anything about your friends the Hamleys, except that they're your friends and what you've told me about them. But I won't have that guy talking about them like that—and you tearing up the whole time. I'd rather swear they have all the talents and good fortune in the world."
The only person of whom Cynthia appeared to be wholesomely afraid was Mr. Gibson. When he was present she was more careful in speaking, and showed more deference to her mother. Her evident respect for him, and desire to win his good opinion, made her curb herself before him; and in this manner she earned his favour as a lively, sensible girl, with just so much knowledge of the world as made her a very desirable companion to Molly. Indeed, she made something of the same kind of impression on all men. They were first struck with her personal appearance; and then with her pretty deprecating manner, which appealed to them much as if she had said, "You are wise, and I am foolish—have mercy on my folly." It was a way she had; it meant nothing really; and she was hardly conscious of it herself; but it was very captivating all the same. Even old Williams, the gardener, felt it; he said to his confidante, Molly—
The only person Cynthia seemed genuinely afraid of was Mr. Gibson. When he was around, she was more careful with her words and showed more respect to her mother. Her clear respect for him and her wish to impress him made her hold back a bit; in this way, she came across as a lively, sensible girl with just enough worldly knowledge to be a really great friend to Molly. In fact, she left a similar impression on all the men she encountered. They were initially drawn in by her looks, and then by her charmingly humble demeanor, which made it seem like she was saying, "You're smart, and I'm not—please be kind to my mistakes." It was just a habit of hers; it didn't really mean anything, and she barely noticed it herself, but it was quite enchanting nonetheless. Even old Williams, the gardener, felt it; he said to his confidante, Molly—
"Eh, miss, but that be a rare young lady! She do have such pretty coaxing ways. I be to teach her to bud roses come the season—and I'll warrant ye she'll learn sharp enough, for all she says she bees so stupid."
"Hey, miss, but she’s a really special young lady! She has such beautiful, charming ways. I'm going to teach her how to grow roses when the season comes—and I bet she'll pick it up quickly, even though she says she’s so clueless."
If Molly had not had the sweetest disposition in the world she might have become jealous of all the allegiance laid at Cynthia's feet; but she never thought of comparing the amount of admiration and love which they each received. Yet once she did feel a little as if Cynthia were poaching on her manor. The invitation to the quiet dinner had been sent to Osborne Hamley, and declined by him. But he thought it right to call soon afterwards. It was the first time Molly had seen any of the family since she left the Hall, just before Mrs. Hamley's death; and there was so much that she wanted to ask. She tried to wait patiently till Mrs. Gibson had exhausted the first gush of her infinite nothings; and then Molly came in with her modest questions. How was the Squire? Had he returned to his old habits? Had his health suffered?—putting each inquiry with as light and delicate a touch as if she had been dressing a wound. She hesitated a little, a very little, before speaking of Roger; for just one moment the thought flitted across her mind, that Osborne might feel the contrast between his own and his brother's college career too painfully to like to have it referred to; but then she remembered the generous brotherly love that had always existed between the two, and had just entered upon the subject, when Cynthia in obedience to her mother's summons, came into the room, and took up her work. No one could have been quieter—she hardly uttered a word; but Osborne seemed to fall under her power at once. He no longer gave his undivided attention to Molly. He cut short his answers to her questions; and by-and-by, without Molly's rightly understanding how it was, he had turned towards Cynthia, and was addressing himself to her. Molly saw the look of content on Mrs. Gibson's face; perhaps it was her own mortification at not having heard all she wished to know about Roger, which gave her a keener insight than usual, but certain it is that all at once she perceived that Mrs. Gibson would not dislike a marriage between Osborne and Cynthia, and considered the present occasion as an auspicious beginning. Remembering the secret which she had been let into so unwillingly, Molly watched his behaviour, almost as if she had been retained in the interest of the absent wife; but, after all, thinking as much of the possibility of his attracting Cynthia as of the unknown and mysterious Mrs. Osborne Hamley. His manner was expressive of great interest and of strong prepossession in favour of the beautiful girl to whom he was talking. He was in deep mourning, which showed off his slight figure and delicate refined face. But there was nothing of flirting, as far as Molly understood the meaning of the word, in either looks or words. Cynthia, too, was extremely quiet; she was always much quieter with men than with women; it was part of the charm of her soft allurement that she was so passive. They were talking of France. Mrs. Gibson herself had passed two or three years of her girlhood there; and Cynthia's late return from Boulogne made it a very natural subject of conversation. But Molly was thrown out of it; and with her heart still unsatisfied as to the details of Roger's success, she had to stand up at last, and receive Osborne's good-by, scarcely longer or more intimate than his farewell to Cynthia. As soon as he was gone, Mrs. Gibson began in his praise.
If Molly hadn't been the sweetest person in the world, she might have felt jealous about all the loyalty directed towards Cynthia; but she never compared the admiration and love they each received. However, there was one moment when she felt a bit like Cynthia was intruding on her territory. The invitation to the quiet dinner had been sent to Osborne Hamley, and he had turned it down. But he did think it was right to visit soon after. It was the first time Molly had seen any of the family since she left the Hall just before Mrs. Hamley's death, and there was so much she wanted to ask. She tried to wait patiently while Mrs. Gibson chatted on about nothing in particular, and then Molly came in with her simple questions. How was the Squire? Had he gone back to his old habits? Had his health suffered?—asking each question as gently as if she were tending to a wound. She hesitated just a moment before mentioning Roger; for a brief second, she wondered if Osborne might find it too painful to compare his college experience with his brother's. But then she remembered the strong brotherly love that had always been between them, and just as she was about to bring it up, Cynthia entered the room in response to her mother’s call and took up her work. No one could have been quieter—she barely said a word; yet Osborne seemed to be drawn to her immediately. He stopped giving his full attention to Molly. He cut his answers to her questions short, and before long, without Molly quite realizing how it happened, he had shifted his focus to Cynthia. Molly noticed the pleased look on Mrs. Gibson's face; perhaps it was her own disappointment at not getting the information she wanted about Roger that sharpened her insight, but it became clear to her that Mrs. Gibson wouldn't mind a marriage between Osborne and Cynthia, and viewed this occasion as a promising start. Remembering the secret she had learned so reluctantly, Molly observed his behavior, almost as if she were working on behalf of the absent wife; but she couldn't help but think about the possibility of him being attracted to Cynthia as much as to the mysterious Mrs. Osborne Hamley. His manner showed a deep interest and a strong inclination towards the beautiful girl he was speaking to. He was in deep mourning, which highlighted his slender figure and delicate, refined face. But, as far as Molly understood, there was no hint of flirting in either his looks or words. Cynthia, too, was very quiet; she was always more reserved around men than women; part of what made her enticing was her passivity. They were discussing France. Mrs. Gibson had spent a few years of her youth there; and Cynthia’s recent return from Boulogne made it a natural topic. But Molly felt left out of the conversation, and with her heart still yearning for details about Roger's success, she finally had to stand up and say goodbye to Osborne, whose farewell to her was hardly longer or more personal than to Cynthia. As soon as he left, Mrs. Gibson began praising him.
"Well, really, I begin to have some faith in long descent. What a gentleman he is! How agreeable and polite! So different from that forward Mr. Preston," she continued, looking a little anxiously at Cynthia. Cynthia, quite aware that her reply was being watched for, said, coolly,—
"Well, I really start to have some faith in long descent. What a gentleman he is! So nice and polite! So different from that rude Mr. Preston," she continued, glancing a bit anxiously at Cynthia. Cynthia, fully aware that everyone was waiting for her response, said, calmly,—
"Mr. Preston doesn't improve on acquaintance. There was a time, mamma, when I think both you and I thought him very agreeable."
"Mr. Preston doesn't get any better the more you know him. There was a time, Mom, when I think both you and I found him quite likeable."
"I don't remember. You've a clearer memory than I have. But we were talking of this delightful Mr. Osborne Hamley. Why, Molly, you were always talking of his brother—it was Roger this, and Roger that—I can't think how it was you so seldom mentioned this young man."
"I don't remember. You have a better memory than I do. But we were talking about the charming Mr. Osborne Hamley. Why, Molly, you were always mentioning his brother—it was Roger this, and Roger that—I can't figure out why you rarely brought up this young man."
"I didn't know I had mentioned Mr. Roger Hamley so often," said Molly, blushing a little. "But I saw much more of him—he was more at home."
"I didn't realize I had talked about Mr. Roger Hamley so much," Molly said, blushing a bit. "But I spent a lot more time with him—he felt more like family."
"Well, well! It's all right, my dear. I daresay he suits you best. But really, when I saw Osborne Hamley close to my Cynthia, I couldn't help thinking—but perhaps I'd better not tell you what I was thinking of. Only they are each of them so much above the average in appearance; and, of course, that suggests things."
"Well, well! It's all good, my dear. I have to say he seems perfect for you. But honestly, when I saw Osborne Hamley next to my Cynthia, I couldn't help but think—but maybe I shouldn't share what I was thinking. It's just that they both stand out so much in looks; and, of course, that raises some questions."
"I perfectly understand what you were thinking of, mamma," said Cynthia, with the greatest composure; "and so does Molly, I have no doubt."
"I completely understand what you were thinking, Mom," said Cynthia, with total calm; "and I’m sure Molly does too."
"Well! there's no harm in it, I'm sure. Did you hear him say that, though he did not like to leave his father alone just at present, yet that when his brother Roger came back from Cambridge, he should feel more at liberty! It was quite as much as to say, 'If you will ask me to dinner then, I shall be delighted to come.' And chickens will be so much cheaper, and cook has such a nice way of boning them, and doing them up with forcemeat. Everything seems to be falling out so fortunately. And Molly, my dear, you know I won't forget you. By-and-by, when Roger Hamley has taken his turn at stopping at home with his father, we will ask him to one of our little quiet dinners."
"Well! I’m sure there’s no harm in it. Did you hear him say that, even though he didn’t want to leave his father alone right now, he’d feel more free when his brother Roger gets back from Cambridge? That was just a polite way of saying, ‘If you invite me to dinner then, I’d be happy to come.’ Plus, chickens will be a lot cheaper, and the cook has a great way of boning them and preparing them with stuffing. Everything seems to be turning out so well. And Molly, my dear, you know I won’t forget you. Eventually, when Roger Hamley has had his turn staying at home with his father, we’ll invite him over for one of our little quiet dinners."
Molly was very slow at taking this in; but in about a minute the sense of it had reached her brain, and she went all over very red and hot; especially as she saw that Cynthia was watching the light come into her mind with great amusement.
Molly was slow to process this; but after about a minute, the meaning hit her, and she turned bright red and felt hot all over, especially since she noticed Cynthia watching her realize it with great amusement.
"I'm afraid Molly isn't properly grateful, mamma. If I were you, I wouldn't exert myself to give a dinner-party on her account. Bestow all your kindness upon me."
"I'm worried that Molly isn't truly grateful, Mom. If I were you, I wouldn't go out of my way to throw a dinner party for her. Just share all your kindness with me."
Molly was often puzzled by Cynthia's speeches to her mother; and this was one of these occasions. But she was more anxious to say something for herself; she was so much annoyed at the implication in Mrs. Gibson's last words.
Molly was often confused by Cynthia's talks with her mom; and this was one of those times. But she was more eager to speak up for herself; she was really annoyed by the suggestion in Mrs. Gibson's last words.
"Mr. Roger Hamley has been very good to me; he was a great deal at home when I was there, and Mr. Osborne Hamley was very little there: that was the reason I spoke so much more of one than the other. If I had—if he had,"—losing her coherence in the difficulty of finding words,—"I don't think I should,—oh, Cynthia, instead of laughing at me, I think you might help me to explain myself!"
"Mr. Roger Hamley has been really good to me; he was around a lot when I was there, and Mr. Osborne Hamley was hardly ever around: that's why I talked more about one than the other. If I had—if he had,"—she struggled to find the right words,—"I don't think I would,—oh, Cynthia, instead of laughing at me, I think you could help me explain myself!"
Instead, Cynthia gave a diversion to the conversation.
Instead, Cynthia changed the subject of the conversation.
"Mamma's paragon gives me an idea of weakness. I can't quite make out whether it's in body or mind. Which is it, Molly?"
"Mom's ideal shows me a sense of weakness. I can't quite figure out whether it's in her body or mind. What do you think, Molly?"
"He is not strong, I know; but he's very accomplished and clever. Every one says that,—even papa, who doesn't generally praise young men. That made the puzzle the greater when he did so badly at college."
"He’s not strong, I know; but he’s very skilled and smart. Everyone says that—even dad, who usually doesn’t praise young men. That made it even more puzzling when he did so poorly in college."
"Then it's his character that is weak. I'm sure there's weakness somewhere; but he's very agreeable. It must have been very pleasant, staying at the Hall."
"Then his character is weak. I'm sure there's some weakness there; but he's really easy to get along with. It must have been nice staying at the Hall."
"Yes; but it's all over now."
"Yeah; but it's all done now."
"Oh, nonsense!" said Mrs. Gibson, wakening up from counting the stitches in her pattern. "We shall have the young men coming to dinner pretty often, you'll see. Your father likes them, and I shall always make a point of welcoming his friends. They can't go on mourning for a mother for ever. I expect we shall see a great deal of them; and that the two families will become very intimate. After all, these good Hollingford people are terribly behindhand, and I should say, rather commonplace."
"Oh, that's silly!" Mrs. Gibson said, waking up from counting the stitches in her pattern. "We'll definitely have the young men over for dinner pretty often, you'll see. Your father likes them, and I will always make an effort to welcome his friends. They can't keep mourning for their mother forever. I expect we'll see a lot of them; and that the two families will get really close. After all, these nice people from Hollingford are really behind the times, and I'd say a bit ordinary."
CHAPTER XXI.
THE HALF-SISTERS.
t appeared as if Mrs.
Gibson's predictions were likely to be
verified; for Osborne Hamley found his way to her drawing-room pretty
frequently. To be sure, sometimes prophets can help on the fulfilment
of their own prophecies; and Mrs. Gibson was not passive.
It seemed like Mrs. Gibson's predictions were about to come true; Osborne Hamley visited her living room pretty often. Of course, sometimes people can help make their own predictions come true, and Mrs. Gibson was not just sitting by.
Molly was altogether puzzled by his manners and ways. He spoke of occasional absences from the Hall, without exactly saying where he had been. But that was not her idea of the conduct of a married man; who, she imagined, ought to have a house and servants, and pay rent and taxes, and live with his wife. Who this mysterious wife might be faded into insignificance before the wonder of where she was. London, Cambridge, Dover, nay, even France, were mentioned by him as places to which he had been on these different little journeys. These facts came out quite casually, almost as if he was unaware of what he was betraying. Sometimes he dropped out such sentences as these:—"Ah, that would be the day I was crossing! It was stormy indeed! Instead of our being only two hours, we were nearly five." Or, "I met Lord Hollingford at Dover last week, and he said," &c. "The cold now is nothing to what it was in London on Thursday—the thermometer was down at 15°." Perhaps, in the rapid flow of conversation, these small revelations were noticed by no one but Molly; whose interest and curiosity were always hovering over the secret she had become possessed of, in spite of all her self-reproach for allowing her thoughts to dwell on what was still to be kept as a mystery.
Molly was completely confused by his behavior and ways. He mentioned occasional absences from the Hall without really saying where he had been. But that wasn’t how she thought a married man should act; she imagined he should have a house and servants, pay rent and taxes, and live with his wife. The identity of this mysterious wife became unimportant compared to the mystery of where she was. London, Cambridge, Dover, and even France were places he casually mentioned visiting on these little trips. These details came out almost as if he didn’t realize what he was revealing. Sometimes he would slip in sentences like, “Ah, that was the day I was crossing! It was really stormy! Instead of taking only two hours, we were nearly five.” Or, “I ran into Lord Hollingford at Dover last week, and he said,” etc. “The cold now is nothing compared to what it was in London on Thursday—the thermometer was down to 15°.” Maybe in the fast pace of conversation, these little hints went unnoticed by everyone except Molly, whose interest and curiosity were always lingering over the secret she had stumbled upon, despite her guilt for letting her thoughts dwell on what was still meant to be a mystery.
It was also evident to her that Osborne was not too happy at home. He had lost the slight touch of cynicism which he had affected when he was expected to do wonders at college; and that was one good result of his failure. If he did not give himself the trouble of appreciating other people, and their performances, at any rate his conversation was not so amply sprinkled with critical pepper. He was more absent, not so agreeable, Mrs. Gibson thought, but did not say. He looked ill in health; but that might be the consequence of the real depression of spirits which Molly occasionally saw peeping out through all his pleasant surface-talk. Now and then, when he was talking directly to her, he referred to "the happy days that are gone," or, "to the time when my mother was alive;" and then his voice sank, and a gloom came over his countenance, and Molly longed to express her own deep sympathy. He did not often mention his father; and Molly thought she could read in his manner, when he did, that something of the painful restraint she had noticed when she was last at the Hall still existed between them. Nearly every particular she knew of the family interior she had heard from Mrs. Hamley, and she was uncertain how far her father was acquainted with them; so she did not like to question him too closely; nor was he a man to be so questioned as to the domestic affairs of his patients. Sometimes she wondered if it was a dream—that short half-hour in the library at Hamley Hall—when she had learnt a fact which seemed so all-important to Osborne, yet which made so little difference in his way of life—either in speech or action. During the twelve or fourteen hours that she had remained at the Hall afterwards, no further allusion had been made to his marriage, either by himself or by Roger. It was, indeed, very like a dream. Probably Molly would have been rendered much more uncomfortable in the possession of her secret if Osborne had struck her as particularly attentive in his devotion to Cynthia. She evidently amused and attracted him, but not in any lively or passionate kind of way. He admired her beauty, and seemed to feel her charm; but he would leave her side, and come to sit near Molly, if anything reminded him of his mother, about which he could talk to her, and to her alone. Yet he came so often to the Gibsons, that Mrs. Gibson might be excused for the fancy she had taken into her head, that it was for Cynthia's sake. He liked the lounge, the friendliness, the company of two intelligent girls of beauty and manners above the average; one of whom stood in a peculiar relation to him, as having been especially beloved by the mother whose memory he cherished so fondly. Knowing himself to be out of the category of bachelors, he was, perhaps, too indifferent as to other people's ignorance, and its possible consequences.
It was clear to her that Osborne wasn't very happy at home. He had lost the slight cynical edge he had when he was expected to achieve great things in college, which was one positive outcome of his failure. While he didn’t bother to appreciate other people or their achievements, at least his conversations weren’t filled with harsh criticism anymore. He seemed more distant and less pleasant, Mrs. Gibson thought but didn’t say. He looked unwell, but that could be due to the genuine sadness Molly sometimes saw breaking through his otherwise cheerful conversation. Occasionally, when he talked directly to her, he mentioned “the happy days that are gone” or “the time when my mother was alive,” and his voice would drop, casting a shadow over his face, making Molly wish she could share her sympathy with him. He rarely spoke about his father, and Molly sensed there was still some uncomfortable tension between them, similar to what she had noticed during her last visit to the Hall. Most of what she knew about the family came from Mrs. Hamley, and she wasn't sure how much her father knew, so she hesitated to ask him too many questions. Plus, he wasn't the type to discuss his patients' family matters. Sometimes she wondered if that brief half-hour in the library at Hamley Hall had really happened when she learned something that seemed so crucial to Osborne but had little impact on his day-to-day life—neither in what he said nor what he did. During the twelve or fourteen hours she stayed at the Hall afterward, neither he nor Roger brought up his marriage again. It felt more like a dream. Molly probably would have felt more uneasy about her secret if Osborne had appeared particularly devoted to Cynthia. He clearly found her amusing and attractive, but it wasn’t in a passionate way. He admired her beauty and seemed drawn to her charm, yet he would leave her to sit near Molly whenever something reminded him of his mother, with whom he could share his thoughts alone. However, he visited the Gibsons so often that Mrs. Gibson might be forgiven for thinking it was for Cynthia’s sake. He enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere, the companionship of two smart, beautiful girls, one of whom held a special place in his heart as someone his mother had especially loved. Knowing he wasn’t a bachelor anymore, he perhaps didn’t care enough about other people's misunderstandings and their potential consequences.
Somehow, Molly did not like to be the first to introduce Roger's name into the conversation, so she lost many an opportunity of hearing intelligence about him. Osborne was often so languid or so absent that he only followed the lead of talk; and as an awkward fellow, who had paid her no particular attention, and as a second son, Roger was not pre-eminent in Mrs. Gibson's thoughts; Cynthia had never seen him, and the freak did not take her often to speak about him. He had not come home since he had obtained his high place in the mathematical lists: that Molly knew; and she knew, too, that he was working hard for something—she supposed a fellowship—and that was all. Osborne's tone in speaking of him was always the same: every word, every inflection of the voice breathed out affection and respect—nay, even admiration! And this from the nil admirari brother, who seldom carried his exertions so far.
Somehow, Molly didn't feel comfortable being the first to bring up Roger's name in conversation, which caused her to miss out on many chances to learn more about him. Osborne often seemed so out of it or distracted that he would just go along with whatever the conversation was about. As an awkward guy who hadn’t paid her much attention and as a second son, Roger didn't really stand out in Mrs. Gibson's mind. Cynthia had never met him, and the idea of talking about him didn't often come up with her. He hadn't been home since he achieved his high ranking in the math lists, which Molly was aware of, and she also knew he was working hard for something—she guessed it was a fellowship—and that was about it. Osborne's tone whenever he talked about Roger was always the same: every word and inflection expressed affection and respect—yes, even admiration! And this was coming from the nil admirari brother, who rarely put in so much effort.
"Ah, Roger!" he said one day. Molly caught the name in an instant, though she had not heard what had gone before. "He is a fellow in a thousand—in a thousand, indeed! I don't believe there is his match anywhere for goodness and real solid power combined."
"Ah, Roger!" he said one day. Molly picked up the name immediately, even though she hadn't heard what was said before. "He's one in a million—really one in a million! I honestly don't think there's anyone out there who combines goodness and true strength like he does."
"Molly," said Cynthia, after Mr. Osborne Hamley had gone, "what sort of a man is this Roger Hamley? One can't tell how much to believe of his brother's praises; for it is the one subject on which Osborne Hamley becomes enthusiastic. I've noticed it once or twice before."
"Molly," Cynthia said after Mr. Osborne Hamley left, "what kind of guy is this Roger Hamley? It’s hard to know how much to trust his brother's compliments because that’s the one thing that makes Osborne Hamley passionate. I've seen it happen a few times before."
While Molly hesitated on which point of the large round to begin her description, Mrs. Gibson struck in,—
While Molly hesitated about where to start her description of the large round, Mrs. Gibson interrupted,—
"It just shows what a sweet disposition Osborne Hamley is of—that he should praise his brother as he does. I daresay he is a senior wrangler, and much good may it do him! I don't deny that; but as for conversation, he's as heavy as heavy can be. A great awkward fellow to boot, who looks as if he did not know two and two made four, for all he is such a mathematical genius. You would hardly believe he was Osborne Hamley's brother to see him! I should not think he has a profile at all."
"It just shows what a nice guy Osborne Hamley is to praise his brother like that. I bet he's a top student, and good for him! I won’t argue with that, but when it comes to conversation, he’s about as dull as can be. He’s a big awkward guy too, who looks like he wouldn’t know that two plus two equals four, despite being such a math whiz. You wouldn't believe he’s related to Osborne Hamley when you see him! I doubt he even has a noticeable profile."
"What do you think of him, Molly?" said the persevering Cynthia.
"What do you think of him, Molly?" asked the determined Cynthia.
"I like him," said Molly. "He has been very kind to me. I know he isn't handsome like Osborne."
"I like him," Molly said. "He’s been really nice to me. I know he’s not as good looking as Osborne."
It was rather difficult to say all this quietly, but Molly managed to do it, quite aware that Cynthia would not rest till she had extracted some kind of an opinion out of her.
It was pretty tough to say all this softly, but Molly managed to do it, fully aware that Cynthia wouldn't stop until she got some kind of opinion from her.
"I suppose he will come home at Easter," said Cynthia, "and then I shall see him for myself."
"I guess he’ll be home for Easter," Cynthia said, "and then I’ll get to see him for myself."
"It's a great pity that their being in mourning will prevent their going to the Easter charity ball," said Mrs. Gibson, plaintively. "I shan't like to take you two girls, if you are not to have any partners. It will put me in such an awkward position. I wish we could join on to the Towers party. That would secure you partners, for they always bring a number of dancing men, who might dance with you after they had done their duty by the ladies of the house. But really everything is so changed since dear Lady Cumnor has been an invalid that, perhaps, they won't go at all."
"It's such a shame that their mourning will stop them from going to the Easter charity ball," Mrs. Gibson said sadly. "I won’t enjoy taking you two girls if you don’t have any partners. It’ll put me in such an awkward position. I wish we could join the Towers party. That would guarantee you partners, since they always bring plenty of dancing men who might dance with you after they take care of the ladies of the house. But honestly, everything has changed so much since dear Lady Cumnor became an invalid that maybe they won’t even go at all."
This Easter ball was a great subject of conversation with Mrs. Gibson. She sometimes spoke of it as her first appearance in society as a bride, though she had been visiting once or twice a week all winter long. Then she shifted her ground, and said she felt so much interest in it, because she would then have the responsibility of introducing both her own and Mr. Gibson's daughter to public notice, though the fact was that pretty nearly every one who was going to this ball had seen the two young ladies—though not their ball dresses—before. But, aping the manners of the aristocracy as far as she knew them, she intended to "bring out" Molly and Cynthia on this occasion, which she regarded in something of the light of a presentation at Court. "They are not out yet," was her favourite excuse when either of them was invited to any house to which she did not wish them to go, or they were invited without her. She even made a difficulty about their "not being out" when Miss Browning—that old friend of the Gibson family—came in one morning to ask the two girls to come to a friendly tea and a round game afterwards; this mild piece of gaiety being designed as an attention to three of Mrs. Goodenough's grandchildren—two young ladies and their schoolboy brother—who were staying on a visit to their grand-mamma.
This Easter ball was a hot topic with Mrs. Gibson. She sometimes referred to it as her first time stepping into society as a bride, even though she had been visiting once or twice a week all winter. Then she changed her angle and said she felt so invested in it because she would be responsible for introducing both her own and Mr. Gibson's daughter to the public eye. The truth was, nearly everyone attending the ball had already seen the two young women—though not their ball gowns—before. But, trying to mimic the ways of the upper class as much as she knew, she planned to "bring out" Molly and Cynthia this time, which she viewed as something similar to a presentation at Court. "They are not out yet," was her go-to excuse whenever either of them got invited to any event she didn't want them to attend, or they were invited without her. She even hesitated about their "not being out" when Miss Browning—an old friend of the Gibson family—came by one morning to invite the two girls to a casual tea and a round of games afterward; this simple gathering was meant as a gesture for three of Mrs. Goodenough's grandchildren—two young women and their schoolboy brother—who were visiting their grandmother.
"You are very kind, Miss Browning, but, you see, I hardly like to let them go—they are not out, you know, till after the Easter ball."
"You’re really kind, Miss Browning, but you see, I can hardly let them go—they won’t be out until after the Easter ball."
"Till when we are invisible," said Cynthia, always ready with her mockery to exaggerate any pretension of her mother's. "We are so high in rank that our sovereign must give us her sanction before we can play a round game at your house."
"Until we become invisible," Cynthia said, always ready to mock any pretense her mother had. "We're so high in rank that our queen has to give us her approval before we can play a game at your place."
Cynthia enjoyed the idea of her own full-grown size and stately gait, as contrasted with that of a meek, half-fledged girl in the nursery; but Miss Browning was half puzzled and half affronted.
Cynthia liked the thought of her own grown-up size and dignified walk, especially compared to that of a timid, awkward girl in the nursery; but Miss Browning felt both confused and slightly offended.
"I don't understand it at all. In my days girls went wherever it pleased people to ask them, without this farce of bursting out in all their new fine clothes at some public place. I don't mean but what the gentry took their daughters to York, or Matlock, or Bath, to give them a taste of gay society when they were growing up; and the quality went up to London, and their young ladies were presented to Queen Charlotte, and went to a birthday ball, perhaps. But for us little Hollingford people—why, we knew every child amongst us from the day of its birth; and many a girl of twelve or fourteen have I seen go out to a card-party, and sit quiet at her work, and know how to behave as well as any lady there. There was no talk of 'coming out' in those days for any one under the daughter of a Squire."
"I don’t get it at all. Back in my day, girls went wherever people invited them, without this ridiculous show of flaunting their new clothes in public. I don't mean to say that the upper class didn’t take their daughters to York, Matlock, or Bath to give them a taste of high society while they were growing up; the wealthy would head to London, and their young ladies were introduced to Queen Charlotte and attended birthday balls, maybe. But for us folks in little Hollingford—well, we knew every child among us from the day they were born; I’ve seen many girls, twelve or fourteen years old, go to a card party, sit quietly with their work, and behave as well as any lady there. No one talked about 'coming out' back then unless you were the daughter of a Squire."
"After Easter, Molly and I shall know how to behave at a card-party, but not before," said Cynthia, demurely.
"After Easter, Molly and I will know how to act at a card party, but not before," said Cynthia, modestly.
"You're always fond of your quips and your cranks, my dear," said Miss Browning, "and I wouldn't quite answer for your behaviour: you sometimes let your spirits carry you away. But I'm quite sure Molly will be a little lady as she always is, and always was, and I have known her from a babe."
"You're always full of your witty comments and peculiar ideas, my dear," said Miss Browning, "and I can't fully vouch for your behavior: you sometimes let your emotions get the best of you. But I'm sure Molly will be the sweet girl she always is, and always has been, and I've known her since she was a baby."
Mrs. Gibson took up arms on behalf of her own daughter, or, rather, she took up arms against Molly's praises.
Mrs. Gibson stood up for her own daughter, or rather, she stood up against the compliments being given to Molly.
"I don't think you would have called Molly a lady the other day, Miss Browning, if you had found her where I did: sitting up in a cherry-tree, six feet from the ground at least, I do assure you."
"I don't think you would have called Molly a lady the other day, Miss Browning, if you had found her where I did: sitting up in a cherry tree, at least six feet off the ground, I assure you."
"Oh! but that wasn't pretty," said Miss Browning, shaking her head at Molly. "I thought you'd left off those tom-boy ways."
"Oh! that wasn't pretty," Miss Browning said, shaking her head at Molly. "I thought you had given up those tomboy ways."
"She wants the refinement which good society gives in several ways," said Mrs. Gibson, returning to the attack on poor Molly. "She's very apt to come upstairs two steps at a time."
"She wants the sophistication that a good social circle provides in various ways," said Mrs. Gibson, resuming her critique of poor Molly. "She's often in such a hurry that she runs up the stairs two steps at a time."
"Only two, Molly!" said Cynthia. "Why, to-day I found I could manage four of these broad shallow steps."
"Only two, Molly!" Cynthia said. "You won’t believe it, but today I managed to do four of these wide, shallow steps."
"My dear child, what are you saying?"
"My dear child, what are you talking about?"
"Only confessing that I, like Molly, want the refinements which good society gives; therefore, please do let us go to Miss Brownings' this evening. I will pledge myself for Molly that she shan't sit in a cherry-tree; and Molly shall see that I don't go upstairs in an unladylike way. I will go upstairs as meekly as if I were a come-out young lady, and had been to the Easter ball."
"Only admitting that I, like Molly, want the polish that good society offers; so please, let’s go to Miss Brownings’ this evening. I will promise for Molly that she won't sit in a cherry tree; and Molly will make sure that I don't go upstairs in an unladylike manner. I will head upstairs as quietly as if I were a debutante who had just been to the Easter ball."
So it was agreed that they should go. If Mr. Osborne Hamley had been named as one of the probable visitors, there would have been none of this difficulty about the affair.
So it was decided that they should go. If Mr. Osborne Hamley had been mentioned as one of the likely visitors, there wouldn't have been any of this trouble with the situation.
But though he was not there, his brother Roger was. Molly saw him in a minute when she entered the little drawing-room; but Cynthia did not.
But even though he wasn't there, his brother Roger was. Molly noticed him right away when she walked into the small drawing room, but Cynthia did not.
"And see, my dears," said Miss Phœbe Browning, turning them round to the side where Roger stood waiting for his turn of speaking to Molly, "we've got a gentleman for you after all! Wasn't it fortunate?—just as sister said that you might find it dull—you, Cynthia, she meant, because you know you come from France—then, just as if he had been sent from heaven, Mr. Roger came in to call; and I won't say we laid violent hands on him, because he was too good for that; but really we should have been near it, if he had not stayed of his own accord."
"And look, my dears," said Miss Phœbe Browning, turning them to the side where Roger was waiting for his chance to talk to Molly, "we've got a gentleman for you after all! How lucky is that?—just when sister said you might find it boring—you, Cynthia, she meant, since you know you’re from France—then, just as if he had come straight from heaven, Mr. Roger dropped by to visit; and I won’t claim we grabbed him or anything, because he was far too good for that; but honestly, we would have been close to it if he hadn't decided to stay on his own."
The moment Roger had done his cordial greeting to Molly, he asked her to introduce him to Cynthia.
The moment Roger finished his friendly greeting to Molly, he asked her to introduce him to Cynthia.
"I want to know her—your new sister," he added, with the kind smile Molly remembered so well since the very first day she had seen it directed towards her, as she sate crying under the weeping ash. Cynthia was standing a little behind Molly when Roger asked for this introduction. She was generally dressed with careless grace. Molly, who was delicate neatness itself, used sometimes to wonder how Cynthia's tumbled gowns, tossed away so untidily, had the art of looking so well, and falling in such graceful folds. For instance, the pale lilac muslin gown she wore this evening had been worn many times before, and had looked unfit to wear again till Cynthia put it on. Then the limpness became softness, and the very creases took the lines of beauty. Molly, in a daintily clean pink muslin, did not look half so elegantly dressed as Cynthia. The grave eyes that the latter raised when she had to be presented to Roger had a sort of child-like innocence and wonder about them, which did not quite belong to Cynthia's character. She put on her armour of magic that evening—involuntarily as she always did; but, on the other side, she could not help trying her power on strangers. Molly had always felt that she should have a right to a good long talk with Roger when she next saw him; and that he would tell her, or she should gather from him all the details she so longed to hear about the Squire—about the Hall—about Osborne—about himself. He was just as cordial and friendly as ever with her. If Cynthia had not been there, all would have gone on as she had anticipated; but of all the victims to Cynthia's charms he fell most prone and abject. Molly saw it all, as she was sitting next to Miss Phœbe at the tea-table, acting right-hand, and passing cake, cream, sugar, with such busy assiduity that every one besides herself thought that her mind, as well as her hands, was fully occupied. She tried to talk to the two shy girls, as in virtue of her two years' seniority she thought herself bound to do; and the consequence was, she went upstairs with the twain clinging to her arms, and willing to swear an eternal friendship. Nothing would satisfy them but that she must sit between them at vingt-un; and they were so desirous of her advice in the important point of fixing the price of the counters that she could not ever have joined in the animated conversation going on between Roger and Cynthia. Or, rather, it would be more correct to say that Roger was talking in a most animated manner to Cynthia, whose sweet eyes were fixed upon his face with a look of great interest in all he was saying, while it was only now and then she made her low replies. Molly caught a few words occasionally in intervals of business.
"I want to get to know her—your new sister," he said, with the kind smile Molly remembered so well from the very first day she saw it directed at her while she was crying under the weeping ash. Cynthia was standing a little behind Molly when Roger asked for the introduction. She was usually dressed with a careless elegance. Molly, who embodied delicate neatness, often wondered how Cynthia’s messy dresses, tossed on so haphazardly, managed to look so good and fall in such graceful folds. For example, the pale lilac muslin gown she wore that evening had been worn many times before and had seemed unwearable until Cynthia put it on. Then the limpness turned into softness, and even the creases seemed to take on beautiful lines. Molly, in her delicately clean pink muslin dress, didn’t look anywhere near as elegantly dressed as Cynthia. When Cynthia raised her serious eyes to be introduced to Roger, there was a sort of childlike innocence and wonder about them, which didn’t truly match her character. That evening, she put on her magical armor—unconsciously, as she always did; but on the other hand, she couldn't resist trying her charm on new people. Molly always felt she deserved a good long talk with Roger when she saw him next; that he would tell her, or she would learn from him, all the details she longed to hear about the Squire—the Hall—Osborne—about himself. He was just as warm and friendly as ever with her. If Cynthia hadn’t been there, everything would have gone as she expected; but of all the victims to Cynthia's charm, he fell the hardest. Molly saw it all as she sat next to Miss Phœbe at the tea table, playing the part of the helpful assistant, passing cake, cream, sugar, with such busy eagerness that everyone except her thought her mind, as well as her hands, were fully engaged. She tried to talk to the two shy girls, as she felt it was her duty to do since she was two years older; and as a result, she went upstairs with the two of them clinging to her arms, eager to promise an eternal friendship. Nothing would satisfy them but that she should sit between them at vingt-un; and they were so eager for her advice on setting the price for the counters that she couldn’t have joined in the lively conversation happening between Roger and Cynthia. Or rather, it would be more accurate to say that Roger was talking animatedly to Cynthia, whose sweet eyes were fixed on his face with great interest in everything he said, while she only occasionally responded with her quiet replies. Molly caught a few words now and then during her moments of distraction.
"At my uncle's, we always give a silver threepence for three dozen. You know what a silver threepence is, don't you, dear Miss Gibson?"
"At my uncle's, we always give a silver threepence for three dozen. You know what a silver threepence is, don't you, dear Miss Gibson?"
"The three classes are published in the Senate House at nine o'clock on the Friday morning, and you can't imagine—"
"The three classes are announced in the Senate House at nine o'clock on Friday morning, and you can't envision—
"I think it will be thought rather shabby to play at anything less than sixpence. That gentleman" (this in a whisper) "is at Cambridge, and you know they always play very high there, and sometimes ruin themselves, don't they, dear Miss Gibson?"
"I think it will seem pretty cheap to play for anything less than sixpence. That guy" (this in a whisper) "is at Cambridge, and you know they always bet big there, and sometimes they end up ruining themselves, right, dear Miss Gibson?"
"Oh, on this occasion the Master of Arts who precedes the candidates for honours when they go into the Senate House is called the Father of the College to which he belongs. I think I mentioned that before, didn't I?"
"Oh, in this case, the Master of Arts who leads the candidates for honors when they enter the Senate House is referred to as the Father of the College he is part of. I believe I mentioned that earlier, didn’t I?"
So Cynthia was hearing all about Cambridge, and the very examination about which Molly had felt such keen interest, without having ever been able to have her questions answered by a competent person; and Roger, to whom she had always looked as the final and most satisfactory answerer, was telling the whole of what she wanted to know, and she could not listen. It took all her patience to make up little packets of counters, and settle, as the arbiter of the game, whether it would be better for the round or the oblong counters to be reckoned as six. And when all was done, and every one sate in their places round the table, Roger and Cynthia had to be called twice before they came. They stood up, it is true, at the first sound of their names; but they did not move—Roger went on talking, Cynthia listening till the second call; when they hurried to the table and tried to appear, all on a sudden, quite interested in the great questions of the game—namely, the price of three dozen counters, and whether, all things considered, it would be better to call the round counters or the oblong half-a-dozen each. Miss Browning, drumming the pack of cards on the table, and quite ready to begin dealing, decided the matter by saying, "Rounds are sixes, and three dozen counters cost sixpence. Pay up, if you please, and let us begin at once." Cynthia sate between Roger and William Orford, the young schoolboy, who bitterly resented on this occasion his sisters' habit of calling him "Willie," as he thought it was this boyish sobriquet which prevented Cynthia from attending as much to him as to Mr. Roger Hamley; he also was charmed by the charmer, who found leisure to give him one or two of her sweet smiles. On his return home to his grand-mamma's, he gave out one or two very decided and rather original opinions, quite opposed—as was natural—to his sisters'. One was—
So Cynthia was hearing all about Cambridge and the exam that Molly had been so curious about but could never get answers to from someone knowledgeable. Roger, who she always regarded as the best source for answers, was explaining everything she wanted to know, but she couldn't focus. It took all her patience to organize little stacks of counters and decide, as the game's referee, whether round or oblong counters should count as six. Once everything was set and everyone sat around the table, Roger and Cynthia had to be called twice before they came over. They did stand up when their names were first called, but they didn't move—Roger kept talking, and Cynthia listened until the second call; then they hurried to the table, trying to act genuinely interested in the main game issues—like the cost of three dozen counters and whether it would be better to say round or oblong counters were worth half a dozen each. Miss Browning, tapping the pack of cards on the table and ready to deal, settled the matter by saying, "Rounds are sixes, and three dozen counters cost sixpence. Pay up, please, so we can start right away." Cynthia sat between Roger and William Orford, the young schoolboy, who resented his sisters calling him "Willie," believing it was this childish nickname that kept Cynthia from paying as much attention to him as she did to Mr. Roger Hamley. He was also enchanted by Cynthia, who took the time to give him one or two of her sweet smiles. When he got home to his grandma's, he expressed a couple of strong and somewhat original opinions that naturally contradicted his sisters'. One was—
"That, after all, a senior wrangler was no great shakes. Any man might be one if he liked, but there were a lot of fellows that he knew who would be very sorry to go in for anything so slow."
"That, after all, being a top student wasn’t a huge deal. Any guy could do it if he wanted, but he knew a lot of guys who would be really bummed to take on something that boring."
Molly thought the game never would end. She had no particular turn for gambling in her; and whatever her card might be, she regularly put on two counters, indifferent as to whether she won or lost. Cynthia, on the contrary, staked high, and was at one time very rich, but ended by being in debt to Molly something like six shillings. She had forgotten her purse, she said, and was obliged to borrow from the more provident Molly, who was aware that the round game of which Miss Browning had spoken to her was likely to require money. If it was not a very merry affair for all the individuals concerned, it was a very noisy one on the whole. Molly thought it was going to last till midnight; but punctually, as the clock struck nine, the little maid-servant staggered in under the weight of a tray loaded with sandwiches, cakes, and jelly. This brought on a general move; and Roger, who appeared to have been on the watch for something of the kind, came and took a chair by Molly.
Molly thought the game would never end. She had no real interest in gambling, and no matter what her card was, she always placed two tokens down, not caring whether she won or lost. Cynthia, on the other hand, bet heavily and was once quite wealthy, but ended up owing Molly around six shillings. She claimed she had forgotten her purse and had to borrow from the more responsible Molly, who knew that the game Miss Browning had mentioned would likely require cash. While it may not have been a very enjoyable experience for everyone involved, it was definitely loud overall. Molly thought it would go on until midnight, but right on the dot at nine o'clock, the little maidservant came in, struggling with a tray full of sandwiches, cakes, and jelly. This prompted everyone to move, and Roger, who seemed to be waiting for something like this, came over and took a seat next to Molly.
"I am so glad to see you again—it seems such a long time since Christmas," said he, dropping his voice, and not alluding more exactly to the day when she had left the Hall.
"I’m so happy to see you again—it feels like ages since Christmas," he said, lowering his voice and not specifically mentioning the day she had left the Hall.
"It is a long time," she replied; "we are close to Easter now. I have so wanted to tell you how glad I was to hear about your honours at Cambridge. I once thought of sending you a message through your brother, but then I thought it might be making too much fuss, because I know nothing of mathematics, or of the value of a senior wranglership; and you were sure to have so many congratulations from people who did know."
"It’s been a while," she said. "We’re almost at Easter now. I’ve really wanted to tell you how happy I was to hear about your achievements at Cambridge. I thought about sending you a message through your brother, but I figured it might be too much, since I don’t know anything about math or what a senior wranglership means; plus, I knew you’d get plenty of congratulations from people who do."
"I missed yours though, Molly," said he, kindly. "But I felt sure you were glad for me."
"I missed yours though, Molly," he said kindly. "But I was sure you were happy for me."
"Glad and proud too," said she. "I should so like to hear something more about it. I heard you telling Cynthia—"
"Glad and proud too," she said. "I would really like to hear more about it. I heard you telling Cynthia—"
"Yes. What a charming person she is! I should think you must be happier than we expected long ago."
"Yes. She’s such a delightful person! I would imagine you're happier than we thought you would be a while back."
"But tell me something about the senior wranglership, please," said Molly.
"But tell me something about the senior wranglership, please," said Molly.
"It's a long story, and I ought to be helping the Miss Brownings to hand sandwiches—besides, you wouldn't find it very interesting, it's so full of technical details."
"It's a long story, and I should be helping Miss Brownings with the sandwiches—plus, you probably wouldn't find it that interesting; it's packed with technical details."
"Cynthia looked very much interested," said Molly.
"Cynthia looked really interested," said Molly.
"Well! then I refer you to her, for I must go now. I can't for shame go on sitting here, and letting those good ladies have all the trouble. But I shall come and call on Mrs. Gibson soon. Are you walking home to-night?"
"Well! I suggest you talk to her, because I need to leave now. I can’t just sit here and let those nice ladies handle everything. But I’ll come by to visit Mrs. Gibson soon. Are you walking home tonight?"
"Yes, I think so," replied Molly, eagerly foreseeing what was to come.
"Yeah, I think so," replied Molly, eagerly looking forward to what was about to happen.
"Then I shall walk home with you. I left my horse at the 'George,' and that's half-way. I suppose old Betty will allow me to accompany you and your sister? You used to describe her as something of a dragon."
"Then I'll walk home with you. I left my horse at the 'George,' and that's halfway. I assume old Betty will let me join you and your sister? You used to say she was a bit of a dragon."
"Betty has left us," said Molly, sadly. "She's gone to live at a place at Ashcombe."
"Betty has left us," Molly said sadly. "She's moved to a place in Ashcombe."
He made a face of dismay, and then went off to his duties. The short conversation had been very pleasant, and his manner had had just the brotherly kindness of old times; but it was not quite the manner he had to Cynthia; and Molly half thought she would have preferred the latter. He was now hovering about Cynthia, who had declined the offer of refreshments from Willie Orford. Roger was tempting her, and with playful entreaties urging her to take some thing from him. Every word they said could be heard by the whole room; yet every word was said, on Roger's part at least, as if he could not have spoken it in that peculiar manner to any one else. At length, and rather more because she was weary of being entreated, than because it was his wish, Cynthia took a macaroon, and Roger seemed as happy as though she had crowned him with flowers. The whole affair was as trifling and commonplace as could be in itself; hardly worth noticing; and yet Molly did notice it, and felt uneasy; she could not tell why. As it turned out, it was a rainy night, and Mrs. Gibson sent a fly for the two girls instead of old Betty's substitute. Both Cynthia and Molly thought of the possibility of their taking the two Orford girls back to their grandmother's, and so saving them a wet walk; but Cynthia got the start in speaking about it; and the thanks and the implied praise for thoughtfulness were hers.
He made a face of dismay, then went off to his duties. The short conversation had been really nice, and he had shown the same brotherly kindness as before; but it wasn’t quite how he treated Cynthia, and Molly thought she might have preferred the latter. He was now lingering around Cynthia, who had turned down the offer of refreshments from Willie Orford. Roger was coaxing her, playfully urging her to take something from him. Every word they exchanged could be heard by the whole room; yet everything Roger said seemed to be spoken in a way he couldn’t use with anyone else. Finally, more because she was tired of being persuaded than because he actually wanted her to, Cynthia took a macaroon, and Roger looked as happy as if she had crowned him with flowers. The whole situation was as trivial and ordinary as it could be; hardly worth noticing; yet Molly did notice it and felt uneasy; she couldn’t quite figure out why. It turned out to be a rainy night, and Mrs. Gibson sent a cab for the two girls instead of old Betty's substitute. Both Cynthia and Molly thought about the possibility of bringing the two Orford girls back to their grandmother’s, saving them a wet walk; but Cynthia spoke up first, and the thanks and the implied praise for thoughtfulness went to her.
When they got home Mr. and Mrs. Gibson were sitting in the drawing-room, quite ready to be amused by any details of the evening.
When they got home, Mr. and Mrs. Gibson were in the living room, eager to hear any details about the evening.
Cynthia began,—
Cynthia started,—
"Oh! it wasn't very entertaining. One didn't expect that," and she yawned wearily.
"Oh! It wasn't very entertaining. I didn't expect that," she said, yawning wearily.
"Who were there?" asked Mr. Gibson. "Quite a young party—wasn't it?"
"Who was there?" asked Mr. Gibson. "It was quite a young group, wasn’t it?"
"They'd only asked Lizzie and Fanny Orford, and their brother; but Mr. Roger Hamley had ridden over and called on Miss Brownings, and they kept him to tea. No one else."
"They'd only invited Lizzie and Fanny Orford, along with their brother; but Mr. Roger Hamley had ridden over and visited Miss Brownings, and they invited him to tea. No one else."
"Roger Hamley there!" said Mr. Gibson. "He's come home then. I must make time to ride over and see him."
"Look, there's Roger Hamley!" said Mr. Gibson. "He’s back home. I need to find time to ride over and see him."
"You'd much better ask him here," said Mrs. Gibson. "Suppose you invite him and his brother to dine here on Friday, my dear. It would be a very pretty attention, I think."
"You should definitely ask him to come here," Mrs. Gibson said. "Why don't you invite him and his brother for dinner here on Friday, dear? I think it would be a nice gesture."
"My dear! these young Cambridge men have a very good taste in wine, and don't spare it. My cellar won't stand many of their attacks."
"My dear! These young men from Cambridge have excellent taste in wine, and they don’t hold back. My cellar can’t take too many of their onslaughts."
"I didn't think you were so inhospitable, Mr. Gibson."
"I didn't think you were this unfriendly, Mr. Gibson."
"I'm not inhospitable, I'm sure. If you'll put 'bitter beer' in the corner of your notes of invitation, just as the smart people put 'quadrilles' as a sign of the entertainment offered, we'll have Osborne and Roger to dinner any day you like. And what did you think of my favourite, Cynthia? You hadn't seen him before, I think?"
"I'm not unfriendly, I promise. If you could jot down 'bitter beer' in the corner of your invitation notes, just like the clever ones note 'quadrilles' to indicate the entertainment, we can invite Osborne and Roger over for dinner anytime you want. And what did you think of my favorite, Cynthia? I don't think you had seen him before, right?"
"Oh! he's nothing like so handsome as his brother; nor so polished; nor so easy to talk to. He entertained me for more than an hour with a long account of some examination or other; but there's something one likes about him."
"Oh! He's nothing like as handsome as his brother; not as charming; not as easy to talk to. He kept me entertained for over an hour with a long story about some exam or another; but there's something likable about him."
"Well—and Molly," said Mrs. Gibson, who piqued herself on being an impartial stepmother, and who always tried hard to make Molly talk as much as Cynthia,—"what sort of an evening have you had?"
"Well—and Molly," said Mrs. Gibson, who prided herself on being a fair stepmother, and who always made an effort to get Molly to talk as much as Cynthia—"what kind of evening have you had?"
"Very pleasant, thank you." Her heart a little belied her as she said this. She had not cared for the round game; and she would have cared for Roger's conversation. She had had what she was indifferent to, and not had what she would have liked.
"Very nice, thank you." Her heart slightly betrayed her as she said this. She hadn’t enjoyed the board game; and she would have preferred talking to Roger. She had what she didn’t care for, and didn’t have what she actually wanted.
"We've had our unexpected visitor, too," said Mr. Gibson. "Just after dinner, who should come in but Mr. Preston. I fancy he's having more of the management of the Hollingford property than formerly. Sheepshanks is getting an old man. And if so, I suspect we shall see a good deal of Preston. He's 'no blate,' as they used to say in Scotland, and made himself quite at home to-night. If I'd asked him to stay, or, indeed, if I'd done anything but yawn, he'd have been here now. But I defy any man to stay when I've a fit of yawning."
"We’ve had our unexpected visitor too," said Mr. Gibson. "Just after dinner, who should walk in but Mr. Preston. I think he's taking on more of the management of the Hollingford property than he used to. Sheepshanks is getting old. If that’s the case, I suspect we’ll be seeing a lot more of Preston. He’s certainly not shy, as they used to say in Scotland, and made himself quite at home tonight. If I’d invited him to stay, or honestly, if I’d done anything but yawn, he’d still be here. But I dare anyone to stick around when I’m in the middle of a yawning fit."
"Do you like Mr. Preston, papa?" asked Molly.
"Do you like Mr. Preston, Dad?" asked Molly.
"About as much as I do half the men I meet. He talks well, and has seen a good deal. I know very little of him, though, except that he's my lord's steward, which is a guarantee for a good deal."
"About as much as I do half the guys I meet. He speaks well and has experienced a lot. I don’t know much about him, though, except that he's my lord's steward, which guarantees quite a bit."
"Lady Harriet spoke pretty strongly against him that day I was with her at the Manor-house."
"Lady Harriet spoke quite strongly against him the day I was with her at the Manor house."
"Lady Harriet's always full of fancies: she likes persons to-day, and dislikes them to-morrow," said Mrs. Gibson, who was touched on her sore point whenever Molly quoted Lady Harriet, or said anything to imply ever so transitory an intimacy with her.
"Lady Harriet is always full of ideas: she likes people today and dislikes them tomorrow," said Mrs. Gibson, who felt a sting whenever Molly mentioned Lady Harriet or implied even a fleeting closeness with her.
"You must know a good deal about Mr. Preston, my dear. I suppose you saw a good deal of him at Ashcombe?"
"You must know quite a bit about Mr. Preston, my dear. I guess you spent a lot of time with him at Ashcombe?"
Mrs. Gibson coloured, and looked at Cynthia before she replied. Cynthia's face was set into a determination not to speak, however much she might be referred to.
Mrs. Gibson flushed and glanced at Cynthia before she answered. Cynthia's expression was firm, unwilling to speak despite being called upon.
"Yes; we saw a good deal of him—at one time, I mean. He's changeable, I think. But he always sent us game, and sometimes fruit. There were some stories against him, but I never believed them."
"Yeah, we spent a lot of time with him—at one point, I mean. I think he's unpredictable. But he always sent us game, and sometimes fruit. There were some rumors about him, but I never believed them."
"What kind of stories?" said Mr. Gibson, quickly.
"What kind of stories?" Mr. Gibson asked quickly.
"Oh, vague stories, you know: scandal, I daresay. No one ever believed them. He could be so agreeable if he chose; and my lord, who is so very particular, would never have kept him as agent if they were true; not that I ever knew what they were, for I consider all scandal as abominable gossip."
"Oh, those vague stories, right? Total scandal, I must say. No one ever really believed them. He could be so charming if he wanted to; and my lord, who is incredibly picky, would never have kept him as an agent if any of it was true; not that I ever knew what they were, because I think all scandal is just terrible gossip."
"I'm very glad I yawned in his face," said Mr. Gibson. "I hope he'll take the hint."
"I'm really glad I yawned in his face," said Mr. Gibson. "I hope he'll get the message."
"If it was one of your giant-gapes, papa, I should call it more than a hint," said Molly. "And if you want a yawning chorus the next time he comes, I'll join in; won't you, Cynthia?"
"If it was one of your big yawns, Dad, I'd say it's more than just a hint," Molly said. "And if you want a group of yawns next time he comes, I'm in; right, Cynthia?"
"I don't know," replied the latter, shortly, as she lighted her bed-candle. The two girls had usually some nightly conversation in one or other of their bed-rooms; but to-night Cynthia said something or other about being terribly tired, and hastily shut her door.
"I don't know," replied the other, briefly, as she lit her bedside candle. The two girls usually had some late-night talks in one of their bedrooms, but tonight Cynthia mentioned that she was really tired and quickly shut her door.
The very next day, Roger came to pay his promised call. Molly was out in the garden with Williams, planning the arrangement of some new flower-beds, and deep in her employment of placing pegs upon the lawn to mark out the different situations, when, standing up to mark the effect, her eye was caught by the figure of a gentleman, sitting with his back to the light, leaning forwards and talking, or listening, eagerly. Molly knew the shape of the head perfectly, and hastily began to put off her brown-holland gardening apron, emptying the pockets as she spoke to Williams.
The very next day, Roger came to make his promised visit. Molly was in the garden with Williams, planning how to arrange some new flower beds, busy placing pegs on the lawn to outline the different spots. As she stood up to check the effect, her eye caught sight of a gentleman sitting with his back to the light, leaning forward and either talking or listening intently. Molly recognized the shape of his head immediately and quickly started to take off her brown gardening apron, emptying her pockets as she spoke to Williams.
"You can finish it now, I think," said she. "You know about the bright-coloured flowers being against the privet-hedge, and where the new rose-bed is to be?"
"You can wrap it up now, I think," she said. "You know about the brightly colored flowers by the privet hedge and where the new rose bed is supposed to go?"
"I can't justly say as I do," said he. "Mebbe, you'll just go o'er it all once again, Miss Molly. I'm not so young as I oncst was, and my head is not so clear now-a-days, and I'd be loath to make mistakes when you're so set upon your plans."
"I can’t really say what I mean," he said. "Maybe you could just go over it all again, Miss Molly. I’m not as young as I used to be, and my mind isn’t as clear these days, and I’d hate to make mistakes when you’re so focused on your plans."
Molly gave up her impulse in a moment. She saw that the old gardener was really perplexed, yet that he was as anxious as he could be to do his best. So she went over the ground again, pegging and explaining till the wrinkled brow was smooth again, and he kept saying, "I see, miss. All right, Miss Molly, I'se gotten it in my head as clear as patchwork now."
Molly quickly let go of her urge. She noticed that the old gardener was genuinely confused, but he was just as eager as possible to do his best. So she went over everything again, demonstrating and explaining until his wrinkled brow relaxed, and he kept saying, "I get it, miss. Okay, Miss Molly, I’ve got it in my head as clear as can be now.”
So she could leave him, and go in. But just as she was close to the garden door, Roger came out. It really was for once a case of virtue its own reward, for it was far pleasanter to her to have him in a tête-à-tête, however short, than in the restraint of Mrs. Gibson's and Cynthia's presence.
So she could leave him and go inside. But just as she got close to the garden door, Roger came out. It truly was a case of virtue being its own reward for her, as it was much more enjoyable to have him to herself, even for a brief moment, than to be in the company of Mrs. Gibson and Cynthia.
"I only just found out where you were, Molly. Mrs. Gibson said you had gone out, but she didn't know where; and it was the greatest chance that I turned round and saw you."
"I just figured out where you were, Molly. Mrs. Gibson said you had gone out, but she didn’t know where; and it was the best luck that I turned around and saw you."
"I saw you some time ago, but I couldn't leave Williams. I think he was unusually slow to-day; and he seemed as if he couldn't understand my plans for the new flower-beds."
"I saw you a while back, but I couldn't leave Williams. I think he was unusually slow today, and it felt like he couldn't grasp my plans for the new flower beds."
"Is that the paper you've got in your hand? Let me look at it, will you? Ah, I see! you've borrowed some of your ideas from our garden at home, haven't you? This bed of scarlet geraniums, with the border of young oaks, pegged down! That was a fancy of my dear mother's."
"Is that the paper you're holding? Can I take a look at it? Ah, I see! You’ve borrowed some of your ideas from our garden at home, right? This patch of red geraniums, with the young oaks lining it! That was one of my dear mother's ideas."
They were both silent for a minute or two. Then Molly said,—
They were both quiet for a minute or two. Then Molly said,—
"How is the Squire? I've never seen him since."
"How's the Squire? I haven't seen him since."
"No, he told me how much he wanted to see you, but he couldn't make up his mind to come and call. I suppose it would never do now for you to come and stay at the Hall, would it? It would give my father so much pleasure: he looks upon you as a daughter, and I'm sure both Osborne and I shall always consider you are like a sister to us, after all my mother's love for you, and your tender care of her at last. But I suppose it wouldn't do."
"No, he told me how much he wanted to see you, but he couldn't decide to come and visit. I guess it wouldn’t be right for you to come and stay at the Hall now, would it? It would make my father so happy: he sees you as a daughter, and I'm sure both Osborne and I will always think of you as a sister to us, considering all my mother’s love for you and how you took care of her in the end. But I guess it wouldn’t be appropriate."
"No! certainly not," said Molly, hastily.
"No! definitely not," said Molly, quickly.
"I fancy if you could come it would put us a little to rights. You know, as I think I once told you, Osborne has behaved differently to what I should have done, though not wrongly,—only what I call an error of judgment. But my father, I'm sure, has taken up some notion of—never mind; only the end of it is that he holds Osborne still in tacit disgrace, and is miserable himself all the time. Osborne, too, is sore and unhappy, and estranged from my father. It is just what my mother would have put right very soon, and perhaps you could have done it—unconsciously, I mean—for this wretched mystery that Osborne preserves about his affairs is at the root of it all. But there's no use talking about it; I don't know why I began." Then, with a wrench, changing the subject, while Molly still thought of what he had been telling her, he broke out,—"I can't tell you how much I like Miss Kirkpatrick, Molly. It must be a great pleasure to you having such a companion!"
"I think if you could come, it would help sort things out for us a bit. You know, as I think I mentioned before, Osborne has acted differently than I would have, though not in a wrong way—just what I see as a judgment error. But I'm sure my father has gotten some idea in his head—never mind about that; the bottom line is that he still views Osborne as being in unspoken disgrace, and he's miserable all the time. Osborne feels hurt and unhappy, and there's a rift between him and my father. This is exactly the kind of thing my mother would have fixed quickly, and maybe you could have done it too—without even realizing it—because this awful secret that Osborne keeps about his situation is at the heart of everything. But there's no point in discussing it; I don't even know why I started. Then, abruptly shifting the topic, while Molly was still reflecting on what he had shared, he exclaimed, 'I can't tell you how much I like Miss Kirkpatrick, Molly. It must be such a pleasure to have a companion like her!'"
"Yes," said Molly, half smiling. "I'm very fond of her; and I think I like her better every day I know her. But how quickly you have found out her virtues!"
"Yeah," said Molly, half smiling. "I really like her, and I think I like her more every day I get to know her. But wow, you’ve picked up on her good qualities fast!”
"I didn't say 'virtues,' did I?" asked he, reddening, but putting the question in all good faith. "Yet I don't think one could be deceived in that face. And Mrs. Gibson appears to be a very friendly person,—she has asked Osborne and me to dine here on Friday."
"I didn't say 'virtues,' did I?" he asked, blushing, but genuinely questioning. "Still, I don't think anyone could be fooled by that face. And Mrs. Gibson seems like a really nice person—she's invited Osborne and me to dinner here on Friday."
"Bitter beer" came into Molly's mind; but what she said was, "And are you coming?"
"Bitter beer" popped into Molly's head, but what she actually said was, "So, are you coming?"
"Certainly, I am, unless my father wants me; and I've given Mrs. Gibson a conditional promise for Osborne, too. So I shall see you all very soon again. But I must go now. I have to keep an appointment seven miles from here in half-an-hour's time. Good luck to your flower-garden, Molly."
"Of course, I will, unless my dad needs me; and I've made Mrs. Gibson a partial promise for Osborne, too. So I’ll be seeing all of you again really soon. But I need to leave now. I have an appointment seven miles away in half an hour. Good luck with your flower garden, Molly."
CHAPTER XXII.
THE OLD SQUIRE'S TROUBLES.
Affairs were going on worse at the Hall than Roger had liked to tell. Moreover, very much of the discomfort there arose from "mere manner," as people express it, which is always indescribable and indefinable. Quiet and passive as Mrs. Hamley had always been in appearance, she was the ruling spirit of the house as long as she lived. The directions to the servants, down to the most minute particulars, came from her sitting-room, or from the sofa on which she lay. Her children always knew where to find her; and to find her, was to find love and sympathy. Her husband, who was often restless and angry from one cause or another, always came to her to be smoothed down and put right. He was conscious of her pleasant influence over him, and became at peace with himself when in her presence; just as a child is at ease when with some one who is both firm and gentle. But the keystone of the family arch was gone, and the stones of which it was composed began to fall apart. It is always sad when a sorrow of this kind seems to injure the character of the mourning survivors. Yet, perhaps, this injury may be only temporary or superficial; the judgments so constantly passed upon the way in which people bear the loss of those whom they have deeply loved, appear to be even more cruel, and wrongly meted out, than human judgments generally are. To careless observers, for instance, it would seem as though the Squire was rendered more capricious and exacting, more passionate and authoritative, by his wife's death. The truth was, that it occurred at a time when many things came to harass him, and some to bitterly disappoint him; and she was no longer there to whom he used to carry his sore heart for the gentle balm of her sweet words. So the sore heart ached and smarted intensely; and often, when he saw how his violent conduct affected others, he could have cried out for their pity, instead of their anger and resentment: "Have mercy upon me, for I am very miserable." How often have such dumb thoughts gone up from the hearts of those who have taken hold of their sorrow by the wrong end, as prayers against sin! And when the Squire saw that his servants were learning to dread him, and his first-born to avoid him, he did not blame them. He knew he was becoming a domestic tyrant; it seemed as if all circumstances conspired against him, and as if he was too weak to struggle with them; else, why did everything in doors and out of doors go so wrong just now, when all he could have done, had things been prosperous, was to have submitted, in very imperfect patience, to the loss of his wife? But just when he needed ready money to pacify Osborne's creditors, the harvest had turned out remarkably plentiful, and the price of corn had sunk down to a level it had not touched for years. The Squire had insured his life at the time of his marriage for a pretty large sum. It was to be a provision for his wife, if she survived him, and for their younger children. Roger was the only representative of these interests now; but the Squire was unwilling to lose the insurance by ceasing to pay the annual sum. He would not, if he could, have sold any part of the estate which he inherited from his father; and, besides, it was strictly entailed. He had sometimes thought how wise a step it would have been could he have sold a portion of it, and with the purchase-money have drained and reclaimed the remainder; and at length, learning from some neighbour that Government would make certain advances for drainage, &c., at a very low rate of interest, on condition that the work was done, and the money repaid, within a given time, his wife had urged him to take advantage of the proffered loan. But now that she was no longer there to encourage him, and take an interest in the progress of the work, he grew indifferent to it himself, and cared no more to go out on his stout roan cob, and sit square on his seat, watching the labourers on the marshy land all overgrown with rushes; speaking to them from time to time in their own strong nervous country dialect: but the interest to Government had to be paid all the same, whether the men worked well or ill. Then the roof of the Hall let in the melted snow-water this winter; and, on examination, it turned out that a new roof was absolutely required. The men who had come about the advances made to Osborne by the London money-lender, had spoken disparagingly of the timber on the estate—"Very fine trees—sound, perhaps, too, fifty years ago, but gone to rot now; had wanted lopping and clearing. Was there no wood-ranger or forester? They were nothing like the value young Mr. Hamley had represented them to be." The remarks had come round to the squire's ears. He loved the trees he had played under as a boy as if they were living creatures; that was on the romantic side of his nature. Merely looking at them as representing so many pounds sterling, he had esteemed them highly, and had had, until now, no opinion of another by which to correct his own judgment. So these words of the valuers cut him sharp, although he affected to disbelieve them, and tried to persuade himself that he did so. But, after all, these cares and disappointments did not touch the root of his deep resentment against Osborne. There is nothing like wounded affection for giving poignancy to anger. And the Squire believed that Osborne and his advisers had been making calculations, based upon his own death. He hated the idea so much—it made him so miserable—that he would not face it, and define it, and meet it with full inquiry and investigation. He chose rather to cherish the morbid fancy that he was useless in this world—born under an unlucky star—that all things went badly under his management. But he did not become humble in consequence. He put his misfortunes down to the score of Fate—not to his own; and he imagined that Osborne saw his failures, and that his first-born grudged him his natural term of life. All these fancies would have been set to rights could he have talked them over with his wife; or even had he been accustomed to mingle much in the society of those whom he esteemed his equals; but, as has been stated, he was inferior in education to those who should have been his mates; and perhaps the jealousy and mauvaise honte that this inferiority had called out long ago, extended itself in some measure to the feelings he entertained towards his sons—less to Roger than to Osborne, though the former was turning out by far the most distinguished man. But Roger was practical; interested in all out-of-doors things, and he enjoyed the details, homely enough, which his father sometimes gave him of the every-day occurrences which the latter had noticed in the woods and the fields. Osborne, on the contrary, was what is commonly called "fine;" delicate almost to effeminacy in dress and in manner; careful in small observances. All this his father had been rather proud of in the days when he looked forward to a brilliant career at Cambridge for his son; he had at that time regarded Osborne's fastidiousness and elegance as another stepping-stone to the high and prosperous marriage which was to restore the ancient fortunes of the Hamley family. But now that Osborne had barely obtained his degree; that all the boastings of his father had proved vain; that the fastidiousness had led to unexpected expenses (to attribute the most innocent cause to Osborne's debts), the poor young man's ways and manners became a subject of irritation to his father. Osborne was still occupied with his books and his writings when he was at home; and this mode of passing the greater part of the day gave him but few subjects in common with his father when they did meet at meal times, or in the evenings. Perhaps if Osborne had been able to have more out-of-door amusements it would have been better; but he was short-sighted, and cared little for the carefully observant pursuits of his brother; he knew but few young men of his own standing in the county; his hunting even, of which he was passionately fond, had been curtailed this season, as his father had disposed of one of the two hunters he had been hitherto allowed. The whole stable establishment had been reduced; perhaps because it was the economy which told most on the enjoyment of both the Squire and Osborne, and which, therefore, the former took a savage pleasure in enforcing. The old carriage—a heavy family coach bought in the days of comparative prosperity—was no longer needed after madam's death, and fell to pieces in the cobwebbed seclusion of the coach-house. The best of the two carriage-horses was taken for a gig, which the Squire now set up; saying many a time to all who might care to listen to him that it was the first time for generations that the Hamleys of Hamley had not been able to keep their own coach. The other carriage-horse was turned out to grass; being too old for regular work. Conqueror used to come whinnying up to the park palings whenever he saw the Squire, who had always a piece of bread, or some sugar, or an apple for the old favourite; and would make many a complaining speech to the dumb animal, telling him of the change of times since both were in their prime. It had never been the Squire's custom to encourage his boys to invite their friends to the Hall. Perhaps this, too, was owing to his mauvaise honte, and also to an exaggerated consciousness of the deficiencies of his establishment as compared with what he imagined these lads were accustomed to at home. He explained this once or twice to Osborne and Roger when they were at Rugby.
Things were going worse at the Hall than Roger liked to admit. Much of the discomfort there came from what people call "mere manner," which is always hard to describe and define. Quiet and passive as Mrs. Hamley always appeared, she was the true center of the household while she was alive. All the instructions to the servants, down to the smallest details, came from her sitting room or from the sofa where she lay. Her children always knew where to find her; finding her meant finding love and support. Her husband, often restless and angry for various reasons, would go to her to calm down and feel better. He was aware of how her kind influence affected him and found peace in her presence, just like a child feels secure with someone who is both firm and gentle. But now that the keystone of the family was gone, the whole structure began to fall apart. It’s always unfortunate when such a sorrow seems to hurt the character of those who remain. Yet, maybe this damage is only temporary or superficial; the judgments people make about how others handle the loss of deep love often appear cruel and misplaced. To casual observers, it might seem like the Squire had become more moody and demanding, more passionate and authoritative after his wife’s death. The reality was that it happened during a time when many things were stressing him out and some were deeply disappointing; and she was no longer there for him to share his heavy heart and receive her soothing words. So his heart ached and burned; and often, when he saw how his intense behavior affected others, he felt like crying out for their pity instead of their anger and resentment: "Have mercy on me, for I am very miserable." How often have such unspoken thoughts risen from those who have handled their sorrow poorly, almost like prayers against sin! When the Squire noticed that his servants began to fear him and his eldest son started to avoid him, he didn’t blame them. He realized he was turning into a domestic tyrant; it felt like everything was working against him, and he was too weak to fight back. Why else would everything, inside and outside, be going so wrong right now when, if things had been better, all he could have done was bear the loss of his wife with very imperfect patience? Just when he needed money to settle Osborne's debts, the harvest turned out to be exceptionally good, and the price of grain dropped to a level it hadn't seen in years. The Squire had insured his life for a considerable sum when he got married to provide for his wife, should she outlive him, and for their younger children. Roger was now the only one representing those interests, but the Squire was reluctant to lose the insurance by stopping the annual payments. He also wouldn't, if possible, sell any part of the estate inherited from his father; besides, it was strictly entailed. He had sometimes thought how smart it would have been to sell a portion of it and use the money to drain and reclaim the rest; ultimately, he learned from a neighbor that the government would make certain loans for drainage at a very low-interest rate, as long as the work was completed and the money paid back within a specified time. His wife had encouraged him to take advantage of the offer. But now that she was gone to motivate him and care about the work's progress, he became indifferent and no longer wanted to ride out on his robust roan cob, sitting upright and watching the workers on the boggy land overgrown with reeds; chatting with them occasionally in their strong regional dialect. Still, the interest to the government had to be paid regardless of how well the workers performed. Then, this winter, the roof of the Hall started leaking snowmelt, and upon inspection, it was found that a new roof was absolutely necessary. The men involved in the loans for Osborne from the London moneylender made negative comments about the timber on the estate— "Very nice trees, perhaps sound fifty years ago, but rotting now; they needed trimming and clearing. Was there no wood ranger or forester? They are nowhere near the value that young Mr. Hamley claimed." The Squire eventually heard these comments. He loved the trees he had played under as a boy as if they were living beings; that was the romantic side of his nature. He had valued them highly, seeing them as so many pounds sterling, and until now had never considered another perspective to judge them by. So, the valuers' words stung him, even though he pretended not to believe them and tried to convince himself of that. However, these worries and disappointments didn't touch the root of his deep resentment towards Osborne. Nothing wounds affection like the sharpness of anger. The Squire believed that Osborne and his advisers had been calculating based on his impending death. He despised that idea so much—it made him so miserable—that he wouldn’t confront it, analyze it, or deal with it thoroughly. Instead, he preferred to nurture the morbid belief that he was useless in this world—born under an unlucky star—where everything went wrong under his care. Yet, he didn't become humble because of it. He blamed his misfortunes on Fate rather than himself; he imagined that Osborne saw his failures, and that his eldest son resented him for living as long as he did. All these thoughts could have been corrected if he could have discussed them with his wife; or even if he had been used to mingling with those he considered his equals; but, as stated, he was less educated than those who should have been his peers; perhaps the jealousy and *mauvaise honte* from that inferiority trickled down to how he felt about his sons—less about Roger than about Osborne, even though the former was proving to be the more distinguished man. But Roger was practical; he was interested in everything outdoors and enjoyed the simple details his father occasionally shared about everyday occurrences in the woods and fields. Osborne, in contrast, was what people commonly call "fine"; delicate almost to effeminacy in his dress and manner; meticulous about small details. His father had been quite proud of this during the days when he anticipated a brilliant future for him at Cambridge; he had seen Osborne's fastidiousness and elegance as a stepping stone to the grand, prosperous marriage that would restore the ancient fortunes of the Hamley family. But now that Osborne had barely passed his degree; that all his father's boasts had turned out to be empty; that his fastidiousness had led to unexpected expenses (attributing the most innocent cause to Osborne's debts); the poor young man's ways and mannerisms became a source of irritation for his father. Osborne was still absorbed in his books and writings when he was at home, and this way of spending most of his time left him with few common topics when they met at meals or in the evenings. Perhaps if Osborne had been able to have more outdoor activities, things would have been better; but he was short-sighted and didn’t share much interest in his brother’s close observations; he knew very few young men of his own standing in the county; even his beloved hunting had been limited this season since his father had sold one of the two hunters he had been allowed. The entire stable setup had been downsized; likely because it was the cutbacks that most impacted the enjoyment of both the Squire and Osborne, and thus, the former took a grim pleasure in enforcing them. The old carriage—a heavy family coach purchased during better times—was no longer needed after Mrs. Hamley’s death and fell apart in the cobwebbed seclusion of the coach house. The better of the two carriage horses was used for a gig, which the Squire now set up; often telling anyone who would listen that it was the first time in generations that the Hamleys of Hamley could not maintain their own coach. The other carriage horse was turned out to pasture; he was too old for regular work. Conqueror would whinny at the park fence whenever he saw the Squire, who always had a piece of bread, some sugar, or an apple for his old friend; and he would share many a lament about how times had changed since they were both in their prime. The Squire had never encouraged his boys to invite their friends to the Hall. Perhaps this was also due to his *mauvaise honte*, and a heightened awareness of his establishment's shortcomings compared to what he imagined those boys were used to at home. He explained this once or twice to Osborne and Roger when they were at Rugby.
"You see, all you public schoolboys have a kind of freemasonry of your own, and outsiders are looked on by you much as I look on rabbits and all that isn't game. Ay, you may laugh, but it is so; and your friends will throw their eyes askance at me, and never think on my pedigree, which would beat theirs all to shivers, I'll be bound. No; I'll have no one here at the Hall who will look down on a Hamley of Hamley, even if he only knows how to make a cross instead of write his name."
"You see, all you public school guys have your own kind of brotherhood, and you view outsiders just like I view rabbits and anything that isn't game. Yeah, you can laugh, but that's the truth; your friends will look at me sideways and never consider my background, which is definitely better than theirs. No; I won’t have anyone here at the Hall who looks down on a Hamley of Hamley, even if he can only make a mark instead of write his name."
Then, of course, they must not visit at houses to whose sons the Squire could not or would not return a like hospitality. On all these points Mrs. Hamley had used her utmost influence without avail; his prejudices were immoveable. As regarded his position as head of the oldest family in three counties, his pride was invincible; as regarded himself personally—ill at ease in the society of his equals, deficient in manners, and in education—his morbid sensitiveness was too sore and too self-conscious to be called humility.
Then, of course, they shouldn't visit homes where the Squire couldn't or wouldn't extend the same hospitality in return. On all these matters, Mrs. Hamley had tried her hardest to influence him, but it didn’t work; his biases were unshakeable. When it came to his status as the head of the oldest family in three counties, his pride was unyielding; as for himself personally—uncomfortable in the company of his peers, lacking in social skills and education—his intense self-awareness was too painful and too self-conscious to be called humility.
Take one instance from among many similar scenes of the state of feeling between him and his eldest son, which, if it could not be called active discord, showed at least passive estrangement.
Take one example from among many similar situations regarding the feelings between him and his oldest son, which, if it couldn’t be called outright conflict, at least indicated a sense of distance.
It took place on an evening in the March succeeding Mrs. Hamley's death. Roger was at Cambridge. Osborne had also been from home, and he had not volunteered any information as to his absence. The Squire believed that Osborne had been either at Cambridge with his brother, or in London; he would have liked to hear where his son had been, what he had been doing, and whom he had seen, purely as pieces of news, and as some diversion from the domestic worries and cares which were pressing him hard; but he was too proud to ask any questions, and Osborne had not given him any details of his journey. This silence had aggravated the Squire's internal dissatisfaction, and he came home to dinner weary and sore-hearted a day or two after Osborne's return. It was just six o'clock, and he went hastily into his own little business-room on the ground-floor, and, after washing his hands, came into the drawing-room feeling as if he were very late, but the room was empty. He glanced at the clock over the mantel-piece, as he tried to warm his hands at the fire. The fire had been neglected, and had gone out during the day; it was now piled up with half-dried wood, which sputtered and smoked instead of doing its duty in blazing and warming the room, through which the keen wind was cutting its way in all directions. The clock had stopped, no one had remembered to wind it up, but by the squire's watch it was already past dinner-time. The old butler put his head into the room, but, seeing the squire alone, he was about to draw it back, and wait for Mr. Osborne, before announcing dinner. He had hoped to do this unperceived, but the squire caught him in the act.
It happened on a March evening after Mrs. Hamley's death. Roger was at Cambridge. Osborne had also been away, and he hadn’t shared any information about where he was. The Squire thought Osborne might have been at Cambridge with his brother or in London; he would have liked to know where his son had been, what he’d been up to, and who he had seen, just for the sake of news, and as a break from the domestic troubles and worries that were weighing on him; but he was too proud to ask questions, and Osborne hadn’t given him any details about his trip. This silence only made the Squire's dissatisfaction grow, and he came home to dinner weary and heavy-hearted a day or two after Osborne returned. It was just six o'clock, and he hurried into his small office on the ground floor, washed his hands, and entered the drawing-room feeling late, but the room was empty. He looked at the clock over the mantelpiece while trying to warm his hands by the fire. The fire had been neglected and had gone out during the day; it was now stacked with half-dried wood, which crackled and smoked instead of blazing and warming the room, through which the sharp wind was blowing in every direction. The clock had stopped; no one had remembered to wind it, but according to the Squire's watch, it was already past dinner time. The old butler peeked into the room, but seeing the Squire alone, he started to pull back, intending to wait for Mr. Osborne before announcing dinner. He hoped to do this unnoticed, but the Squire caught him in the act.
"Why isn't dinner ready?" he called out sharply. "It's ten minutes past six. And, pray, why are you using this wood? It's impossible to get oneself warm by such a fire as this."
"Why isn't dinner ready?" he called out sharply. "It's ten minutes past six. And, please, why are you using this wood? It's impossible to get warm with a fire like this."
"I believe, sir, that Thomas—"
"I think, sir, that Thomas—"
"Don't talk to me of Thomas. Send dinner in directly."
"Don't mention Thomas to me. Just send dinner in right away."
About five minutes elapsed, spent by the hungry Squire in all sorts of impatient ways—attacking Thomas, who came in to look after the fire; knocking the logs about, scattering out sparks, but considerably lessening the chances of warmth; touching up the candles, which appeared to him to give a light unusually insufficient for the large cold room. While he was doing this, Osborne came in dressed in full evening dress. He always moved slowly; and this, to begin with, irritated the Squire. Then an uncomfortable consciousness of a black coat, drab trousers, checked cotton cravat, and splashed boots, forced itself upon him as he saw Osborne's point-device costume. He chose to consider it affectation and finery in Osborne, and was on the point of bursting out with some remark, when the butler, who had watched Osborne downstairs before making the announcement, came in to say dinner was ready.
About five minutes passed, with the hungry Squire fidgeting in all sorts of impatient ways—pestering Thomas, who came in to check on the fire; kicking the logs around, which scattered sparks and significantly reduced the chances of staying warm; and adjusting the candles, which seemed to him to provide an unusually dim light for the large, cold room. While he was doing this, Osborne entered, dressed in formal evening attire. He always moved slowly, which irritated the Squire from the start. Then, an uncomfortable awareness of his own black coat, tan trousers, checkered cotton cravat, and muddy boots hit him as he saw Osborne’s dapper outfit. He chose to view it as Osborne’s pretentiousness and extravagance and was about to make a comment when the butler, who had watched Osborne come downstairs before making the announcement, entered to say dinner was ready.
"It surely isn't six o'clock?" said Osborne, pulling out his dainty little watch. He was scarcely more unaware than it of the storm that was brewing.
"It can't be six o'clock already?" said Osborne, checking his fancy little watch. He was hardly more aware than it was of the storm that was coming.
"Six o'clock! It's more than a quarter past," growled out his father.
"Six o'clock! It's past a quarter after," his father grumbled.
"I fancy your watch must be wrong, sir. I set mine by the Horse Guards only two days ago."
"I think your watch must be off, sir. I set mine by the Horse Guards just two days ago."
Now, impugning that old steady, turnip-shaped watch of the Squire's was one of the insults which, as it could not reasonably be resented, was not to be forgiven. That watch had been given him by his father when watches were watches long ago. It had given the law to house-clocks, stable-clocks, kitchen-clocks—nay, even to Hamley Church clock in its day; and was it now, in its respectable old age, to be looked down upon by a little whipper-snapper of a French watch which could go into a man's waistcoat pocket, instead of having to be extricated, with due effort, like a respectable watch of size and position, from a fob in the waistband? No! not if the whipper-snapper were backed by all the Horse Guards that ever were, with the Life Guards to boot. Poor Osborne might have known better than to cast this slur on his father's flesh and blood; for so dear did he hold his watch!
Now, criticizing that old, round watch of the Squire's was one of those insults that, because it couldn’t realistically be taken seriously, wasn’t to be forgiven. That watch had been given to him by his father back when watches were truly watches, long ago. It had set the standard for house clocks, stable clocks, kitchen clocks—heck, even the Hamley Church clock in its day; and was it now, in its respectable old age, to be looked down upon by some little fancy French watch that could fit in a man's pocket, instead of needing to be pulled out, with some effort, like a proper watch of substance and stature, from a fob in the waistband? No! Not even if the fancy watch had all the Horse Guards behind it, plus the Life Guards as well. Poor Osborne should have known better than to throw this insult at his father's legacy; he cherished that watch too much!
"My watch is like myself," said the squire, 'girning,' as the Scotch say—"plain, but steady-going. At any rate, it gives the law in my house. The King may go by the Horse Guards if he likes."
"My watch is like me," said the squire, 'gurning,' as the Scots say—"simple, but reliable. Either way, it sets the rules in my house. The King can pass by the Horse Guards if he wants."
"I beg your pardon, sir," said Osborne, really anxious to keep the peace, "I went by my watch, which is certainly right by London time; and I'd no idea you were waiting for me; otherwise I could have dressed much quicker."
"I’m sorry, sir," Osborne said, genuinely wanting to keep the peace, "I checked my watch, which is definitely set to London time; I had no idea you were waiting for me; otherwise, I could have gotten ready much faster."
"I should think so," said the Squire, looking sarcastically at his son's attire. "When I was a young man I should have been ashamed to have spent as much time at my looking-glass as if I'd been a girl. I could make myself as smart as any one when I was going to a dance, or to a party where I was likely to meet pretty girls; but I should have laughed myself to scorn if I'd stood fiddle-faddling at a glass, smirking at my own likeness, all for my own pleasure."
"I think so," said the Squire, eyeing his son’s outfit with sarcasm. "Back when I was young, I would have been embarrassed to spend as much time in front of a mirror as if I were a girl. I could get dressed up as well as anyone when I was heading to a dance or a party where I might meet cute girls; but I would have mocked myself if I'd been standing around fussing with my appearance, admiring my reflection just for my own enjoyment."
Osborne reddened, and was on the point of letting fly some caustic remark on his father's dress at the present moment; but he contented himself with saying, in a low voice,—
Osborne flushed and was about to make a biting comment about his father's outfit right now; instead, he just said quietly, Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.
"My mother always expected us all to dress for dinner. I got into the habit of doing it to please her, and I keep it up now." Indeed, he had a certain kind of feeling of loyalty to her memory in keeping up all the little domestic habits and customs she had instituted or preferred. But the contrast which the Squire thought was implied by Osborne's remark, put him beside himself.
"My mom always expected us to dress for dinner. I got used to it to make her happy, and I still do it now." He definitely felt a kind of loyalty to her memory by maintaining all the little routines and traditions she had established or liked. But the contrast that the Squire thought was suggested by Osborne's comment drove him crazy.
"And I, too, try to attend to her wishes. I do; and in more important things. I did when she was alive; and I do so now."
"And I also try to pay attention to her wishes. I really do, especially in more important matters. I did when she was alive, and I still do now."
"I never said you did not," said Osborne, astonished at his father's passionate words and manner.
"I never said you didn't," Osborne replied, shocked by his father's intense words and demeanor.
"Yes, you did, sir. You meant it. I could see by your looks. I saw you look at my morning coat. At any rate, I never neglected any wish of hers in her lifetime. If she'd wished me to go to school again and learn my A, B, C, I would. By —— I would; and I wouldn't have gone playing me, and lounging away my time, for fear of vexing and disappointing her. Yet some folks older than school-boys—"
"Yes, you did, sir. You meant it. I could tell by the look on your face. I noticed you glance at my morning coat. Anyway, I never ignored any of her wishes while she was alive. If she had wanted me to go back to school and learn my A, B, C, I would have. By Got it! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize. I really would; and I wouldn’t have wasted my time playing around and lounging about, afraid of upsetting and disappointing her. Yet some people older than school-guys—
The squire choked here; but though the words would not come his passion did not diminish. "I'll not have you casting up your mother's wishes to me, sir. You, who went near to break her heart at last!"
The squire choked here; but even though he couldn't get the words out, his passion didn't fade. "I won't have you bringing up your mother's wishes to me, sir. You, who nearly broke her heart in the end!"
Osborne was strongly tempted to get up and leave the room. Perhaps it would have been better if he had; it might then have brought about an explanation, and a reconciliation between father and son. But he thought he did well in sitting still and appearing to take no notice. This indifference to what he was saying appeared to annoy the Squire still more, and he kept on grumbling and talking to himself till Osborne, unable to bear it any longer, said, very quietly, but very bitterly—
Osborne was really tempted to get up and walk out of the room. Maybe it would have been better if he had; it could have led to an explanation and a reconciliation between him and his father. But he figured he was doing the right thing by sitting still and pretending not to notice. This indifference seemed to annoy the Squire even more, and he kept grumbling and muttering to himself until Osborne, unable to take it anymore, said very quietly but with a lot of bitterness—
"I am only a cause of irritation to you, and home is no longer home to me, but a place in which I am to be controlled in trifles, and scolded about trifles as if I were a child. Put me in a way of making a living for myself—that much your oldest son has a right to ask of you—I will then leave this house, and you shall be no longer vexed by my dress, or my want of punctuality."
"I’m just a source of annoyance to you now, and home doesn’t feel like home anymore; it’s just a place where I’m controlled over small things and scolded like I’m a child. Help me find a way to support myself—that’s the least your oldest son can ask of you. Once I can do that, I’ll leave this house, and you won’t have to worry about my clothes or my lack of punctuality anymore."
"You make your request pretty much as another son did long ago: 'Give me the portion that falleth to me.' But I don't think what he did with his money is much encouragement for me to—." Then the thought of how little he could give his son his "portion," or any part of it, stopped the Squire.
"You make your request pretty much like another son did long ago: 'Give me my share.' But I don't think what he did with his money is much encouragement for me to—. Then the thought of how little he could give his son his 'share,' or any part of it, stopped the Squire."
Osborne took up the speech.
Osborne started the speech.
"I'm as ready as any man to earn my living; only the preparation for any profession will cost money, and money I haven't got."
"I'm as ready as anyone to earn my living; it's just that getting prepared for any profession costs money, and I don’t have any."
"No more have I," said the Squire, shortly.
"No more I have," said the Squire, shortly.
"What is to be done then?" said Osborne, only half believing his father's words.
"What should we do then?" said Osborne, only half believing his father's words.
"Why, you must learn to stop at home, and not take expensive journeys; and you must reduce your tailor's bill. I don't ask you to help me in the management of the land—you're far too fine a gentleman for that; but if you can't earn money, at least you needn't spend it."
"Look, you really need to stay home and cut back on those pricey trips; you should also lower your tailor's expenses. I'm not asking you to get involved in managing the land—you're way too classy for that; but if you can’t make any money, at least try not to waste it."
"I've told you I'm willing enough to earn money," cried Osborne, passionately at last. "But how am I to do it? You really are very unreasonable, sir."
"I've said I'm more than willing to make money," Osborne exclaimed passionately at last. "But how am I supposed to do that? You're being quite unreasonable, sir."
"Am I?" said the Squire—cooling in manner, though not in temper, as Osborne grew warm. "But I don't set up for being reasonable; men who have to pay away money that they haven't got for their extravagant sons aren't likely to be reasonable. There's two things you've gone and done which put me beside myself, when I think of them; you've turned out next door to a dunce at college, when your poor mother thought so much of you—and when you might have pleased and gratified her so if you chose—and, well! I won't say what the other thing is."
"Am I?" said the Squire, cooling off in attitude, though not in mood, as Osborne heated up. "But I don't claim to be reasonable; men who have to spend money they don’t have on their extravagant sons aren’t likely to be rational. There are two things you’ve done that drive me crazy when I think about them; you’ve turned out nearly a dunce at college when your poor mother had such high hopes for you—and you could have made her happy and proud if you’d wanted to—and, well! I won’t say what the other thing is."
"Tell me, sir," said Osborne, almost breathless with the idea that his father had discovered his secret marriage; but the father was thinking of the money-lenders, who were calculating how soon Osborne would come into the estate.
"Tell me, sir," said Osborne, nearly breathless at the thought that his father had found out about his secret marriage; but the father was preoccupied with the moneylenders, who were figuring out how soon Osborne would inherit the estate.
"No!" said the Squire. "I know what I know; and I'm not going to tell you how I know it. Only, I'll just say this—your friends no more know a piece of good timber when they see it than you or I know how you could earn five pounds if it was to keep you from starving. Now, there's Roger—we none of us made an ado about him; but he'll have his Fellowship now, I'll warrant him, and be a bishop, or a chancellor, or something, before we've found out he's clever—we've been so much taken up thinking about you. I don't know what's come over me to speak of 'we'—'we' in this way," said he, suddenly dropping his voice,—a change of tone as sad as sad could be. "I ought to say 'I;' it will be 'I' for evermore in this world."
"No!" said the Squire. "I know what I know, and I'm not going to explain how I know it. Just this—your friends are no better at recognizing good timber than you or I are at figuring out how you could earn five pounds to keep you from starving. Now, take Roger—we didn’t make a fuss about him; but I bet he’ll get his Fellowship now, and become a bishop, or a chancellor, or something, before we even realize he's talented—we’ve been so caught up thinking about you. I don't know why I said 'we'—'we' like this," he said, suddenly lowering his voice—his tone as sad as it could be. "I should say 'I'; it will be 'I' forever in this world."
He got up and left the room in quick haste, knocking over his chair, and not stopping to pick it up. Osborne, who was sitting and shading his eyes with his hand, as he had been doing for some time, looked up at the noise, and then rose as quickly and hurried after his father, only in time to hear the study-door locked on the inside the moment he reached it.
He got up and rushed out of the room, knocking over his chair and not bothering to pick it up. Osborne, who had been sitting with his hand shading his eyes, looked up at the noise and quickly got up to follow his father, just in time to hear the study door lock from the inside as he reached it.
Osborne returned into the dining-room chagrined and sorrowful. But he was always sensitive to any omission of the usual observances, which might excite remark; and even with his heavy heart he was careful to pick up the fallen chair, and restore it to its place near the bottom of the table; and afterwards so to disturb the dishes as to make it appear that they had been touched, before ringing for Robinson. When the latter came in, followed by Thomas, Osborne thought it necessary to say to him that his father was not well, and had gone into the study; and that he himself wanted no dessert, but would have a cup of coffee in the drawing-room. The old butler sent Thomas out of the room, and came up confidentially to Osborne.
Osborne returned to the dining room feeling upset and sad. He was always aware of any break in routine that might draw attention, so even with his heavy heart, he made sure to pick up the fallen chair and place it back near the bottom of the table. Then, he adjusted the dishes to make it look like they had been touched before calling for Robinson. When Robinson entered, followed by Thomas, Osborne thought it was necessary to tell him that his father wasn’t feeling well and had gone into the study. He also mentioned that he didn’t want dessert but would like a cup of coffee in the drawing room. The old butler sent Thomas out of the room and approached Osborne confidentially.
"I thought master wasn't justly himself, Mr. Osborne, before dinner. And, therefore, I made excuses for him—I did. He spoke to Thomas about the fire, sir, which is a thing I could in nowise put up with, unless by reason of sickness, which I am always ready to make allowances for."
"I thought the master wasn’t himself, Mr. Osborne, before dinner. So, I made excuses for him—I really did. He spoke to Thomas about the fire, which is something I couldn't tolerate at all, unless it was due to illness, and I'm always willing to make allowances for that."
"Why shouldn't my father speak to Thomas?" said Osborne. "But, perhaps, he spoke angrily, I daresay; for I'm sure he's not well."
"Why shouldn't my dad talk to Thomas?" said Osborne. "But, maybe he did speak angrily, I guess; because I'm sure he’s not feeling well."
"No, Mr. Osborne, it wasn't that. I myself am given to anger; and I'm blessed with as good health as any man in my years. Besides, anger's a good thing for Thomas. He needs a deal of it. But it should come from the right quarter—and that is me, myself, Mr. Osborne. I know my place, and I know my rights and duties as well as any butler that lives. And it's my duty to scold Thomas, and not master's. Master ought to have said, 'Robinson! you must speak to Thomas about letting out the fire,' and I'd ha' given it him well,—as I shall do now, for that matter. But as I said before, I make excuses for master, as being in mental distress and bodily ill-health; so I've brought myself round not to give warning, as I should ha' done, for certain, under happier circumstances."
"No, Mr. Osborne, that’s not it. I can get angry, and I’m as healthy as any man my age. Besides, anger is good for Thomas. He needs plenty of it. But it should come from the right person—and that’s me, Mr. Osborne. I know my role, and I understand my rights and responsibilities just as well as any butler out there. It’s my job to scold Thomas, not the master’s. The master should have said, 'Robinson! You need to talk to Thomas about letting the fire go out,' and I would have handled it well—just as I will now, for that matter. But as I mentioned before, I make excuses for the master, considering he’s under mental stress and dealing with health issues; so I've managed to hold back from giving my notice, which I definitely would have done under better circumstances."
"Really, Robinson, I think it's all great nonsense," said Osborne, weary of the long story the butler had told him, and to which he had not half attended. "What in the world does it signify whether my father speaks to you or to Thomas? Bring me coffee in the drawing-room, and don't trouble your head any more about scolding Thomas."
"Honestly, Robinson, I think it's all just ridiculous," said Osborne, tired of the long story the butler had told him, which he hadn't really paid much attention to. "What difference does it make if my father talks to you or to Thomas? Just bring me coffee in the drawing room, and stop worrying about scolding Thomas."
Robinson went away offended at his grievance being called nonsense. He kept muttering to himself in the intervals of scolding Thomas, and saying,—"Things is a deal changed since poor missis went. I don't wonder master feels it, for I'm sure I do. She was a lady who had always a becoming respect for a butler's position, and could have understood how he might be hurt in his mind. She'd never ha' called his delicacies of feelings nonsense—not she; no more would Mr. Roger. He's a merry young gentleman, and over fond of bringing dirty, slimy creatures into the house; but he's always a kind word for a man who is hurt in his mind. He'd cheer up the Squire, and keep him from getting so cross and wilful. I wish Mr. Roger was here, I do."
Robinson walked away, upset that his complaint was dismissed as nonsense. He kept muttering to himself between scolding Thomas and saying, "Things have really changed since the poor mistress passed away. I don’t blame the master for feeling it; I do too. She was a lady who always respected a butler's position and understood how he might feel hurt. She would never have called his feelings nonsense—not her; and neither would Mr. Roger. He's a cheerful young man, maybe a bit too fond of bringing dirty, slimy creatures into the house, but he always has a kind word for someone who's feeling down. He’d lift the Squire's spirits and keep him from getting so angry and stubborn. I wish Mr. Roger was here; I really do."
The poor Squire, shut up with his grief, and his ill-temper as well, in the dingy, dreary study where he daily spent more and more of his indoors life, turned over his cares and troubles till he was as bewildered with the process as a squirrel must be in going round in a cage. He had out day-books and ledgers, and was calculating up back-rents; and every time the sum-totals came to different amounts. He could have cried like a child over his sums; he was worn out and weary, angry and disappointed. He closed his books at last with a bang.
The poor Squire, trapped in his grief and bad mood, sat in the gloomy, depressing study where he spent more and more of his time indoors. He mulled over his worries and troubles until he felt as confused as a squirrel running in a cage. He had pulled out ledgers and daybooks, trying to calculate overdue rents, but each time the totals came out differently. He could have cried like a child over his calculations; he felt exhausted, frustrated, and let down. Finally, he slammed his books shut.
"I'm getting old," he said, "and my head's less clear than it used to be. I think sorrow for her has dazed me. I never was much to boast on; but she thought a deal of me—bless her! She'd never let me call myself stupid; but, for all that, I am stupid. Osborne ought to help me. He's had money enough spent on his learning; but, instead, he comes down dressed like a popinjay, and never troubles his head to think how I'm to pay his debts. I wish I'd told him to earn his living as a dancing-master," said the squire, with a sad smile at his own wit. "He's dressed for all the world like one. And how he's spent the money no one knows! Perhaps Roger will turn up some day with a heap of creditors at his heels. No, he won't—not Roger; he may be slow, but he's steady, is old Roger. I wish he was here. He's not the eldest son, but he'd take an interest in the estate; and he'd do up these weary accounts for me. I wish Roger was here!"
"I'm getting old," he said, "and my mind isn't as clear as it used to be. I think my sorrow for her has left me a bit dazed. I was never much to brag about, but she really thought a lot of me—bless her! She never let me call myself stupid, but honestly, I am. Osborne should be helping me. He's had enough money spent on his education, but instead, he shows up dressed like a flashy peacock, never caring about how I'm supposed to pay off his debts. I wish I had told him to earn his living as a dance instructor," said the squire, giving a sad smile at his own joke. "He looks like one for sure. And no one knows how he's blown through all that money! Maybe Roger will show up someday with a bunch of creditors following him. No, he won't—not Roger; he might be slow, but he's reliable, old Roger. I wish he were here. He's not the oldest son, but he'd actually care about the estate; he would handle these tedious accounts for me. I really wish Roger was here!"
CHAPTER XXIII.
OSBORNE HAMLEY REVIEWS HIS POSITION.
Osborne had his solitary cup of coffee in the drawing-room. He was very unhappy too, after his fashion. He stood on the hearth-rug pondering over his situation. He was not exactly aware how hardly his father was pressed for ready-money; the Squire had never spoken to him on the subject without being angry; and many of his loose contradictory statements—all of which, however contradictory they might appear, had their basis in truth—were set down by his son to the exaggeration of passion. But it was uncomfortable enough to a young man of Osborne's age to feel himself continually hampered for want of a five-pound note. The principal supplies for the liberal—almost luxurious table at the Hall, came off the estate; so that there was no appearance of poverty as far as the household went; and as long as Osborne was content at home, he had everything he could wish for; but he had a wife elsewhere—he wanted to see her continually—and that necessitated journeys. She, poor thing! had to be supported—where was the money for the journeys and for Aimée's modest wants to come from? That was the puzzle in Osborne's mind just now. While he had been at college his allowance—heir of the Hamleys—had been three hundred, while Roger had to be content with a hundred less. The payment of these annual sums had given the Squire a good deal of trouble; but he thought of it as a merely temporary inconvenience; perhaps unreasonably thought so. Osborne was to do great things; take high honours, get a fellowship, marry a long-descended heiress, live in some of the many uninhabited rooms at the Hall, and help the squire in the management of the estate that would some time be his. Roger was to be a clergyman; steady, slow Roger was just fitted for that, and when he declined entering the Church, preferring a life of more activity and adventure, Roger was to be—anything; he was useful and practical, and fit for all the employments from which Osborne was shut out by his fastidiousness, and his (pseudo) genius; so it was well he was an eldest son, for he would never have done to struggle through the world; and as for his settling down to a profession, it would be like cutting blocks with a razor! And now here was Osborne, living at home, but longing to be elsewhere; his allowance stopped in reality; indeed, the punctual payment of it during the last year or two had been owing to his mother's exertions; but nothing had been said about its present cessation by either father or son; money matters were too sore a subject between them. Every now and then the Squire threw him a ten-pound note or so; but the sort of suppressed growl with which it was given, and the entire uncertainty as to when he might receive such gifts, rendered any calculation based upon their receipt exceedingly vague and uncertain.
Osborne had his lone cup of coffee in the living room. He was pretty unhappy too, in his own way. He stood on the rug by the fireplace, thinking about his situation. He wasn’t fully aware of how badly his dad needed cash; the Squire had never brought it up without getting angry, and many of his vague, contradictory statements—though they might seem confusing—were based in truth. However, his son chalked them up to exaggeration fueled by emotion. It was uncomfortable enough for a young man like Osborne to constantly feel restricted by the lack of a five-pound note. Most of the food for the generous—almost lavish—table at the Hall came from the estate, so there was no sign of poverty in the household; as long as Osborne was happy at home, he had everything he could want. But he had a wife elsewhere—he wanted to see her often—and that required travel. She, poor thing, needed to be supported—where would the money for the trips and Aimée's modest needs come from? That was the dilemma on Osborne's mind right now. While he was at college, his allowance as the heir of the Hamleys had been three hundred, while Roger had to make do with a hundred less. The annual payments had given the Squire quite a bit of trouble, but he thought of it as just a temporary hassle—perhaps unreasonably so. Osborne was meant to achieve great things: earn high honors, secure a fellowship, marry a long-established heiress, live in some of the many empty rooms at the Hall, and assist the Squire in managing the estate that would eventually be his. Roger was set to become a clergyman; steady, slow Roger was just right for that, and when he declined to enter the Church, choosing a life with more action and adventure, Roger would be—anything. He was useful and practical, suited for all the roles that Osborne’s fastidiousness and (pseudo) genius excluded him from. It was fortunate that he was the eldest son; he wouldn't have managed to struggle through life, and the idea of him settling into a profession would have been like trying to chop wood with a razor! And now here was Osborne, living at home, yet yearning to be somewhere else; his allowance had effectively stopped. In reality, the timely payments over the last year or two had been thanks to his mother’s efforts, but neither father nor son had mentioned its current stop; money issues were too sensitive a topic between them. Every now and then, the Squire would hand him a ten-pound note or so, but the suppressed growl in which it was given and the total uncertainty of when he might receive such gifts made any budgeting based on those payments extremely vague and uncertain.
"What in the world can I do to secure an income?" thought Osborne, as he stood on the hearth-rug, his back to a blazing fire, his cup of coffee sent up in the rare old china that had belonged to the Hall for generations; his dress finished, as dress of Osborne's could hardly fail to be. One could hardly have thought that this elegant young man, standing there in the midst of comfort that verged on luxury, should have been turning over that one great problem in his mind; but so it was. "What can I do to be sure of a present income? Things cannot go on as they are. I should need support for two or three years, even if I entered myself at the Temple, or Lincoln's Inn. It would be impossible to live on my pay in the army; besides, I should hate that profession. In fact, there are evils attending all professions—I couldn't bring myself to become a member of any I've ever heard of. Perhaps I'm more fitted to take 'orders' than anything else; but to be compelled to write weekly sermons whether one had anything to say or not, and, probably, doomed only to associate with people below one in refinement and education! Yet poor Aimée must have money. I can't bear to compare our dinners here, overloaded with joints and game and sweets, as Morgan will persist in sending them up, with Aimée's two little mutton-chops. Yet what would my father say if he knew I'd married a Frenchwoman? In his present mood he'd disinherit me, if that is possible; and he'd speak about her in a way I couldn't stand. A Roman Catholic, too! Well, I don't repent it. I'd do it again. Only if my mother had been in good health—if she could have heard my story, and known Aimée! As it is I must keep it secret; but where to get money? Where to get money?"
"What on earth can I do to secure an income?" thought Osborne, as he stood on the hearth rug, his back to a blazing fire, sipping coffee from the rare old china that had belonged to the Hall for generations; his outfit looked exactly as one would expect from someone like Osborne. It was hard to believe that this elegant young man, surrounded by such comfort that bordered on luxury, was wrestling with that one big question in his mind; but that was the reality. "How can I ensure a steady income? Things can't continue like this. I would need support for two or three years, even if I enrolled at the Temple or Lincoln's Inn. It would be impossible to get by on my army pay; besides, I really dislike that career. In fact, there are downsides to every profession—I can’t see myself joining any of them I've ever heard about. Maybe I'm better suited for the clergy than anything else; but having to write weekly sermons whether I have anything to say or not, and likely being stuck only with people of lesser refinement and education! Yet poor Aimée needs financial support. I can't stand comparing our lavish dinners, loaded with roasts, game, and desserts, as Morgan insists on serving them, to Aimée's two little mutton chops. But what would my father say if he found out I married a French woman? In his current mood, he would disinherit me, if that's even possible; and he'd talk about her in a way I just couldn't handle. A Roman Catholic, too! Well, I don’t regret it. I’d do it again. If only my mother had been in good health—if she could have heard my story and met Aimée! But for now, I have to keep it a secret; but where can I get money? Where can I get money?"
Then he bethought him of his poems—would they sell, and bring him in money? In spite of Milton, he thought they might; and he went to fetch his MSS. out of his room. He sate down near the fire, trying to study them with a critical eye, to represent public opinion as far as he could. He had changed his style since the Mrs. Hemans' days. He was essentially imitative in his poetic faculty; and of late he had followed the lead of a popular writer of sonnets. He turned his poems over: they were almost equivalent to an autobiographical passage in his life. Arranging them in their order, they came as follows:—
Then he thought about his poems—would they sell and make him money? Despite Milton, he believed they could; so he went to get his manuscripts from his room. He sat down near the fire, trying to evaluate them critically, to reflect public opinion as best as he could. His style had evolved since the days of Mrs. Hemans. He was fundamentally imitative in his poetic ability, and recently he had been following the style of a popular sonnet writer. He flipped through his poems: they were almost like an autobiographical account of his life. Organizing them in order, they came as follows:—
"To Aimée, Walking with a Little Child."
"To Aimée, Walking with a Little Child."
"To Aimée, Singing at her Work."
"To Aimée, Singing at Work."
"To Aimée, Turning away from me while I told my Love."
"To Aimée, Looking away from me while I shared my feelings."
"Aimée's Confession."
"Aimée's Confession."
"Aimée in Despair."
"Aimée in Distress."
"The Foreign Land in which my Aimée dwells."
"The foreign land where my Aimée lives."
"The Wedding Ring."
"The Wedding Band."
"The Wife."
"The Wife."
When he came to this last sonnet he put down his bundle of papers and began to think. "The wife." Yes, and a French wife; and a Roman Catholic wife—and a wife who might be said to have been in service! And his father's hatred of the French, both collectively and individually—collectively, as tumultuous brutal ruffians, who murdered their king, and committed all kinds of bloody atrocities—individually, as represented by "Boney," and the various caricatures of "Johnny Crapaud" that had been in full circulation about five-and-twenty years before this time, when the Squire had been young and capable of receiving impressions. As for the form of religion in which Mrs. Osborne Hamley had been brought up, it is enough to say that Catholic emancipation had begun to be talked about by some politicians, and that the sullen roar of the majority of Englishmen, at the bare idea of it, was surging in the distance with ominous threatenings; the very mention of such a measure before the Squire was, as Osborne well knew, like shaking a red flag before a bull.
When he reached this last sonnet, he set down his stack of papers and started to think. "The wife." Yes, a French wife; a Roman Catholic wife—and a wife who might be described as having been in service! And his father's hatred of the French, both as a group and as individuals—collectively, as chaotic, brutal thugs who murdered their king and committed all sorts of horrific atrocities—individually, as depicted by "Boney" and the various caricatures of "Johnny Crapaud" that had been popular about twenty-five years earlier, when the Squire was young and impressionable. As for the religion Mrs. Osborne Hamley was raised in, it's enough to say that discussions about Catholic emancipation had started among some politicians, and the angry discontent of most Englishmen at the mere thought of it was rising ominously in the background; even bringing up such a topic in front of the Squire was, as Osborne well knew, like waving a red flag in front of a bull.
And then he considered that if Aimée had had the unspeakable, the incomparable blessing of being born of English parents, in the very heart of England—Warwickshire, for instance—and had never heard of priests, or mass, or confession, or the Pope, or Guy Fawkes, but had been born, baptized, and bred in the Church of England, without having ever seen the outside of a dissenting meeting-house, or a papist chapel—even with all these advantages, her having been a (what was the equivalent for "bonne" in English? 'nursery-governess' was a term hardly invented) nursery-maid, with wages paid down once a quarter, liable to be dismissed at a month's warning, and having her tea and sugar doled out to her, would be a shock to his father's old ancestral pride that he would hardly ever get over.
And then he thought about how if Aimée had had the unimaginable, the amazing fortune of being born to English parents, right in the heart of England—let's say Warwickshire—and had never heard of priests, or mass, or confession, or the Pope, or Guy Fawkes, but had instead been born, baptized, and raised in the Church of England, without ever stepping foot in a dissenting meeting-house or a Catholic chapel—even with all those advantages, her being a nursery-maid, with her wages paid out once every three months, at risk of being let go with just a month’s notice, and having her tea and sugar rationed to her, would be a blow to his father's old family pride that he would never quite recover from.
"If he saw her!" thought Osborne. "If he could but see her!" But if the Squire were to see Aimée, he would also hear her speak her pretty broken English—precious to her husband, as it was in it that she had confessed brokenly with her English tongue, that she loved him soundly with her French heart—and Squire Hamley piqued himself on being a good hater of the French. "She would make such a loving, sweet, docile little daughter to my father—she would go as near as any one could towards filling up the blank void in this house, if he would but have her; but he won't; he never would; and he sha'n't have the opportunity of scouting her. Yet if I called her 'Lucy' in these sonnets; and if they made a great effect—were praised in Blackwood and the Quarterly—and all the world was agog to find out the author; and I told him my secret—I could if I were successful—I think then he would ask who Lucy was, and I could tell him all then. If—how I hate 'ifs.' 'If me no ifs.' My life has been based on 'whens;' and first they have turned to 'ifs,' and then they have vanished away. It was 'when Osborne gets honours,' and then 'if Osborne,' and then a failure altogether. I said to Aimée, 'when my mother sees you,' and now it is 'if my father saw her,' with a very faint prospect of its ever coming to pass." So he let the evening hours flow on and disappear in reveries like these; winding up with a sudden determination to try the fate of his poems with a publisher, with the direct expectation of getting money for them, and an ulterior fancy that, if successful, they might work wonders with his father.
"If he only saw her!" thought Osborne. "If he could just see her!" But if the Squire were to see Aimée, he would also hear her speak her charming broken English—precious to her husband, as it was through that broken English she had confessed with her heart that she loved him deeply in her French way—and Squire Hamley prided himself on being a staunch enemy of the French. "She would make such a loving, sweet, obedient little daughter for my father—she would come as close as anyone could to filling the emptiness in this house, if only he would accept her; but he won't; he never would; and he shouldn't get the chance to reject her. Yet if I called her 'Lucy' in these sonnets; and if they made a big impact—were praised in Blackwood and the Quarterly—and everyone was eager to find out who the author was; if I shared my secret—I could, if I were successful—I think then he would ask who Lucy was, and I could explain everything then. If—how I hate 'ifs.' 'If me no ifs.' My life has been built on 'whens;' and first they turned into 'ifs,' and then they faded away. It was 'when Osborne gets honors,' then 'if Osborne,' and then a complete failure. I told Aimée, 'when my mother sees you,' and now it's 'if my father saw her,' with very dim chances of it ever happening." So he let the evening pass in these daydreams; ending with a sudden resolve to try getting his poems published, with the clear goal of making money from them, and a hope that, if successful, they might work wonders with his father.
When Roger came home Osborne did not let a day pass before telling his brother of his plans. He never did conceal anything long from Roger; the feminine part of his character made him always desirous of a confidant, and as sweet sympathy as he could extract. But Roger's opinion had no effect on Osborne's actions; and Roger knew this full well. So when Osborne began with—"I want your advice on a plan I have got in my head," Roger replied: "Some one told me that the Duke of Wellington's maxim was never to give advice unless he could enforce its being carried into effect; now I can't do that; and you know, old boy, you don't follow out my advice when you've got it."
When Roger got home, Osborne didn't wait a day to share his plans with his brother. He never kept anything from Roger for long; the more sensitive side of his personality made him eager for someone to share with, along with as much sympathy as he could get. But Roger's opinion never influenced Osborne's choices, and Roger was well aware of that. So when Osborne started with, "I want your advice on a plan I have in mind," Roger replied, "Someone told me that the Duke of Wellington's rule was to never give advice unless he could make sure it was followed; I can't do that, and you know, buddy, you don't really listen to my advice when you ask for it."
"Not always, I know. Not when it doesn't agree with my own opinion. You're thinking about this concealment of my marriage; but you're not up in all the circumstances. You know how fully I meant to have done it, if there hadn't been that row about my debts; and then my mother's illness and death. And now you've no conception how my father is changed—how irritable he has become! Wait till you've been at home a week! Robinson, Morgan—it's the same with them all; but worst of all with me."
"Not always, I know. Not when it doesn't match my own opinion. You're focused on hiding my marriage, but you don't know all the details. You know how determined I was to go through with it if it weren't for that argument about my debts; and then my mother's sickness and death. And now you can't imagine how much my father has changed—how touchy he's become! Just wait until you've been home for a week! Robinson, Morgan—it's the same with all of them; but it's hardest on me."
"Poor fellow!" said Roger; "I thought he looked terribly changed: shrunken, and his ruddiness of complexion altered."
"That poor guy!" said Roger; "I thought he looked really different: so thin, and his healthy color was gone."
"Why, he hardly takes half the exercise he used to do, so it's no wonder. He has turned away all the men off the new works, which used to be such an interest to him; and because the roan cob stumbled with him one day, and nearly threw him, he won't ride it; and yet he won't sell it and buy another, which would be the sensible plan; so there are two old horses eating their heads off, while he is constantly talking about money and expense. And that brings me to what I was going to say. I'm desperately hard up for money, and so I've been collecting my poems—weeding them well, you know—going over them quite critically, in fact; and I want to know if you think Deighton would publish them. You've a name in Cambridge, you know; and I daresay he would look at them if you offered them to him."
"Honestly, he barely exercises anymore, so it’s not surprising. He’s turned away all the guys from the new projects, which used to interest him a lot; and because the roan cob stumbled one day and almost threw him, he won’t ride it. Yet, he also won’t sell it to get another one, which would be the practical choice; so now there are two old horses just eating all the time while he constantly complains about money and expenses. And that leads me to what I wanted to say. I'm really short on cash, so I've been collecting my poems—going through them carefully, you know—reviewing them quite critically, actually; and I want to know if you think Deighton would publish them. You have a reputation in Cambridge, and I’m sure he would take a look at them if you offered them to him."
"I can but try," said Roger; "but I'm afraid you won't get much by them."
"I'll give it a shot," said Roger, "but I'm worried you won't get much from them."
"I don't expect much. I'm a new man, and must make my name. I should be content with a hundred. If I'd a hundred pounds I'd set myself to do something. I might keep myself and Aimée by my writings while I studied for the bar; or, if the worst came to the worst, a hundred pounds would take us to Australia."
"I don't expect much. I'm starting fresh and need to make a name for myself. I should be satisfied with a hundred. If I had a hundred pounds, I would focus on achieving something. I could support myself and Aimée through my writing while preparing for the bar; or, if everything went wrong, a hundred pounds would get us to Australia."
"Australia! Why, Osborne, what could you do there? And leave my father! I hope you'll never get your hundred pounds, if that's the use you're to make of it! Why, you'd break the Squire's heart."
"Australia! What could you possibly do there, Osborne? And leave my father behind! I hope you never get your hundred pounds if that's how you're planning to use it! You'd totally break the Squire's heart."
"It might have done once," said Osborne, gloomily, "but it wouldn't now. He looks at me askance, and shies away from conversation with me. Let me alone for noticing and feeling this kind of thing. It's this very susceptibility to outward things that gives me what faculty I have; and it seems to me as if my bread, and my wife's too, were to depend upon it. You'll soon see for yourself the terms which I am on with my father!"
"It might have worked before," Osborne said gloomily, "but not now. He looks at me strangely and avoids talking to me. Just let me notice and feel things like this. It's this very sensitivity to the outside world that gives me whatever ability I have; it feels like my livelihood and my wife's depend on it. You'll see for yourself how things are between my father and me!"
Roger did soon see. His father had slipped into a habit of silence at meal-times—a habit which Osborne, who was troubled and anxious enough for his own part, had not striven to break. Father and son sate together, and exchanged all the necessary speeches connected with the occasion civilly enough; but it was a relief to them when their intercourse was over, and they separated—the father to brood over his sorrow and his disappointment, which were real and deep enough, and the injury he had received from his boy, which was exaggerated in his mind by his ignorance of the actual steps Osborne had taken to raise money. If the money-lenders had calculated the chances of his father's life or death in making their bargain, Osborne himself had thought only of how soon and how easily he could get the money requisite for clearing him from all imperious claims at Cambridge, and for enabling him to follow Aimée to her home in Alsace, and for the subsequent marriage. As yet, Roger had never seen his brother's wife; indeed, he had only been taken into Osborne's full confidence after all was decided in which his advice could have been useful. And now, in the enforced separation, Osborne's whole thought, both the poetical and practical sides of his mind, ran upon the little wife who was passing her lonely days in farmhouse lodgings, wondering when her bridegroom husband would come to her next. With such an engrossing subject, it was, perhaps, no wonder that he unconsciously neglected his father; but it was none the less sad at the time, and to be regretted in its consequences.
Roger quickly noticed. His father had gotten into a habit of being silent during meals—a habit that Osborne, already anxious and troubled about his own issues, hadn’t tried to change. Father and son would sit together, exchanging all the polite remarks necessary for the occasion; but they both felt relieved when their interaction ended, and they went their separate ways—the father to dwell on his genuine and deep sorrow and disappointment, as well as the hurt he felt from his son, which was magnified in his mind due to his ignorance of the actual steps Osborne had taken to raise money. If the moneylenders had taken into account the likelihood of his father's life or death when making their deal, Osborne had only considered how quickly and easily he could obtain the money needed to free himself from pressing obligations at Cambridge, enabling him to follow Aimée back to her home in Alsace, and for their upcoming marriage. So far, Roger had never met his brother’s wife; in fact, he had only been fully trusted by Osborne after everything was settled—a moment when his advice might have been helpful. Now, during this enforced separation, Osborne’s mind, both creatively and practically, was entirely preoccupied with the little wife spending her lonely days in a farmhouse, wondering when her husband would come to see her next. With such a captivating thought, it’s perhaps no surprise he unconsciously neglected his father; yet, it was still sad at the time and regrettable in its outcomes.
"I may come in and have a pipe with you, sir, mayn't I?" said Roger, that first evening, pushing gently against the study-door, which his father held only half open.
"I can come in and have a smoke with you, sir, can't I?" said Roger, that first evening, gently nudging the study door, which his father kept only half open.
"You'll not like it," said the squire, still holding the door against him, but speaking in a relenting tone. "The tobacco I use isn't what young men like. Better go and have a cigar with Osborne."
"You probably won't like it," said the squire, still holding the door closed against him, but speaking in a softer tone. "The tobacco I smoke isn't what young guys enjoy. You should go have a cigar with Osborne instead."
"No. I want to sit with you, and I can stand pretty strong tobacco."
"No. I want to sit with you, and I can handle pretty strong tobacco."
Roger pushed in, the resistance slowly giving way before him.
Roger pushed in, and the resistance gradually gave way.
"It will make your clothes smell. You'll have to borrow Osborne's scents to sweeten yourself," said the Squire, grimly, at the same time pushing a short smart amber-mouthed pipe to his son.
"It will make your clothes smell. You'll need to borrow Osborne's scents to freshen up," said the Squire, grimly, while also offering his son a short, stylish pipe with an amber mouthpiece.
"No; I'll have a churchwarden. Why, father, do you think I'm a baby to put up with a doll's head like this?" looking at the carving upon it.
"No; I'll take a churchwarden. Why, dad, do you really think I'm a child who can settle for a doll's head like this?" she said, glancing at the carving on it.
The Squire was pleased in his heart, though he did not choose to show it. He only said, "Osborne brought it me when he came back from Germany. That's three years ago." And then for some time they smoked in silence. But the voluntary companionship of his son was very soothing to the Squire, though not a word might be said.
The Squire felt happy inside, even if he didn't want to show it. He just said, "Osborne gave it to me when he returned from Germany. That was three years ago." Then they sat in silence for a while, smoking. But having his son there, even without speaking, was really comforting to the Squire.
The next speech he made showed the direction of his thoughts; indeed, his words were always a transparent medium through which the current might be seen.
The next speech he gave revealed what he was thinking; in fact, his words were always a clear way to see what was going on in his mind.
"A deal of a man's life comes and goes in three years—I've found that out;" and he puffed away at his pipe again. While Roger was turning over in his mind what answer to make to this truism, the squire again stopped his smoking and spoke.
"A lot can happen in a man's life over three years—I've realized that;" and he went back to puffing his pipe. While Roger was considering how to respond to this truth, the squire paused his smoking and spoke again.
"I remember when there was all that fuss about the Prince of Wales being made regent, I read somewhere—I daresay it was in a newspaper—that kings and their heirs-apparent were always on bad terms. Osborne was quite a little chap then: he used to go out riding with me on White Surrey;—you won't remember the pony we called White Surrey?"
"I remember when there was all that commotion about the Prince of Wales becoming regent. I read somewhere—I think it was in a newspaper—that kings and their heirs were always at odds. Osborne was just a little kid back then; he used to go riding with me on White Surrey;—you don’t remember the pony we called White Surrey?"
"I remember it; but I thought it a tall horse in those days."
"I remember it, but I thought it was a really tall horse back then."
"Ah! that was because you were such a small lad, you know. I'd seven horses in the stable then—not counting the farm-horses. I don't recollect having a care then, except—she was always delicate, you know. But what a beautiful boy Osborne was! He was always dressed in black velvet—it was a foppery, but it wasn't my doing, and it was all right, I'm sure. He's a handsome fellow now, but the sunshine has gone out of his face."
"Ah! That was because you were just a little kid, you know. I had seven horses in the stable back then—not including the farm horses. I don’t remember having a worry then, except—she was always fragile, you know. But what a beautiful boy Osborne was! He was always dressed in black velvet—it was a bit extravagant, but it wasn’t my idea, and it was fine, I’m sure. He's a handsome guy now, but the sparkle in his face has faded."
"He's a good deal troubled about this money, and the anxiety he has given you," said Roger, rather taking his brother's feelings for granted.
"He's really worried about this money and the stress it has caused you," said Roger, somewhat assuming he understood his brother's feelings.
"Not he," said the Squire, taking the pipe out of his mouth, and hitting the bowl so sharply against the hob that it broke in pieces. "There! But never mind! I say, not he, Roger! He's none troubled about the money. It's easy getting money from Jews if you're the eldest son, and the heir. They just ask, 'How old is your father, and has he had a stroke, or a fit?' and it's settled out of hand, and then they come prowling about a place, and running down the timber and land—Don't let us speak of him; it's no good, Roger. He and I are out of tune, and it seems to me as if only God Almighty could put us to rights. It's thinking of how he grieved her at last that makes me so bitter with him. And yet there's a deal of good in him! and he's so quick and clever, if only he'd give his mind to things. Now, you were always slow, Roger—all your masters used to say so."
"Not him," said the Squire, taking the pipe out of his mouth and hitting the bowl so hard against the hearth that it shattered into pieces. "There! But never mind! I’m telling you, not him, Roger! He doesn’t care about the money. It's easy to get cash from Jewish lenders if you’re the oldest son and the heir. They just ask, 'How old is your father, and has he had a stroke or a seizure?' and it’s settled instantly, and then they start prowling around the place, trying to undervalue the timber and land—Let’s not talk about him; it’s no use, Roger. He and I are out of sync, and it feels like only God Almighty could fix things between us. It’s thinking about how he ultimately hurt her that makes me so angry with him. And yet there’s a lot of good in him! He’s so quick and smart if only he’d focus on things. Now, you were always slow, Roger—all your teachers used to say that."
Roger laughed a little—
Roger chuckled a bit—
"Yes; I'd many a nickname at school for my slowness," said he.
"Yeah, I had a lot of nicknames at school because I was slow," he said.
"Never mind!" said the Squire, consolingly. "I'm sure I don't. If you were a clever fellow like Osborne yonder, you'd be all for caring for books and writing, and you'd perhaps find it as dull as he does to keep company with a bumpkin-squire Jones like me. Yet, I daresay, they think a deal of you at Cambridge," said he, after a pause, "since you've got this fine wranglership; I'd nearly forgotten that—the news came at such a miserable time."
"Don't worry about it!" said the Squire, trying to be supportive. "I definitely don’t. If you were a smart guy like Osborne over there, you’d be all about reading and writing, and you’d probably find hanging out with a simpleton like me pretty boring too. But I bet they think a lot of you at Cambridge," he added after a pause, "since you've landed this impressive wranglership; I almost forgot about that—the news came at such a rough moment."
"Well, yes! They're always proud of the senior wrangler of the year up at Cambridge. Next year I must abdicate."
"Well, yes! They’re always proud of the Senior Wrangler of the Year up at Cambridge. Next year, I have to step down."
The Squire sat and gazed into the embers, still holding his useless pipe-stem. At last he said, in a low voice, as if scarcely aware he had got a listener,—"I used to write to her when she was away in London, and tell her the home news. But no letter will reach her now! Nothing reaches her!"
The Squire sat and looked into the glowing embers, still holding his broken pipe. Finally, he spoke softly, almost unaware he had a listener, "I used to write to her while she was in London, sharing the news from home. But no letter will get to her now! Nothing gets to her!"
Roger started up.
Roger got started.
"Where's the tobacco-box, father? Let me fill you another pipe!" and when he had done so, he stooped over his father and stroked his cheek. The Squire shook his head.
"Where's the tobacco box, Dad? Let me fill your pipe again!" And when he had finished, he leaned over his father and gently stroked his cheek. The Squire shook his head.
"You've only just come home, lad. You don't know me, as I am now-a-days! Ask Robinson—I won't have you asking Osborne, he ought to keep it to himself—but any of the servants will tell you I'm not like the same man for getting into passions with them. I used to be reckoned a good master, but that's past now! Osborne was once a little boy, and she was once alive—and I was once a good master—a good master—yes! It's all past now."
"You just got home, kid. You don’t know me like I am these days! Ask Robinson—I don’t want you asking Osborne; he should keep that to himself—but any of the staff will tell you I’m not the same guy for getting angry with them. I used to be considered a good boss, but that’s not the case anymore! Osborne was once a little boy, and she was once alive—and I was once a good boss—a good boss—yeah! That’s all in the past now."
He took up his pipe, and began to smoke afresh, and Roger, after a silence of some minutes, began a long story about some Cambridge man's misadventure on the hunting-field, telling it with such humour that the Squire was beguiled into hearty laughing. When they rose to go to bed his father said to Roger,—
He picked up his pipe and started smoking again, and after a few moments of silence, Roger began a long story about a Cambridge guy's misadventure while hunting, telling it with such humor that the Squire couldn't help but laugh heartily. When they got up to head to bed, his father said to Roger,
"Well, we've had a pleasant evening—at least, I have. But perhaps you haven't; for I'm but poor company now, I know."
"Well, we’ve had a nice evening—at least I have. But maybe you haven’t; I know I’m not great company right now."
"I don't know when I've passed a happier evening, father," said Roger. And he spoke truly, though he did not trouble himself to find out the cause of his happiness.
"I don’t know when I’ve had a happier evening, Dad," said Roger. And he meant it, even though he didn’t bother to figure out why he felt so happy.
CHAPTER XXIV.
MRS. GIBSON'S LITTLE DINNER.
ll this had taken place
before Roger's first meeting with Molly and
Cynthia at Miss Brownings'; and the little dinner on the Friday at
Mr. Gibson's, which followed in due sequence.
All this had happened before Roger's first meeting with Molly and Cynthia at Miss Brownings'; and the small dinner on Friday at Mr. Gibson's, which came next.
Mrs. Gibson intended the Hamleys to find this dinner pleasant; and they did. Mr. Gibson was fond of the two young men, both for their parents' sake and their own, for he had known them since boyhood; and to those whom he liked Mr. Gibson could be remarkably agreeable. Mrs. Gibson really gave them a welcome—and cordiality in a hostess is a very becoming mantle for any other deficiencies there may be. Cynthia and Molly looked their best, which was all the duty Mrs. Gibson absolutely required of them, as she was willing enough to take her full share in the conversation. Osborne fell to her lot, of course, and for some time he and she prattled on with all the ease of manner and commonplaceness of meaning which go far to make the "art of polite conversation." Roger, who ought to have made himself agreeable to one or the other of the young ladies, was exceedingly interested in what Mr. Gibson was telling him of a paper on comparative osteology in some foreign journal of science, which Lord Hollingford was in the habit of forwarding to his friend the country surgeon. Yet, every now and then while he listened, he caught his attention wandering to the face of Cynthia, who was placed between his brother and Mr. Gibson. She was not particularly occupied with attending to anything that was going on; her eyelids were carelessly dropped, as she crumbled her bread on the tablecloth, and her beautiful long eyelashes were seen on the clear tint of her oval cheek. She was thinking of something else; Molly was trying to understand with all her might. Suddenly Cynthia looked up, and caught Roger's gaze of intent admiration too fully for her to be unaware that he was staring at her. She coloured a little; but, after the first moment of rosy confusion at his evident admiration of her, she flew to the attack, diverting his confusion at thus being caught, to the defence of himself from her accusation.
Mrs. Gibson wanted the Hamleys to enjoy dinner, and they did. Mr. Gibson liked the two young men, both for their parents' sake and his own, since he had known them since they were boys. He could be quite pleasant with people he liked. Mrs. Gibson genuinely welcomed them—and a warm greeting from a hostess can make up for any other shortcomings. Cynthia and Molly were looking their best, which was all Mrs. Gibson expected of them, as she was more than willing to take part in the conversation. Of course, Osborne was her main focus, and for a while, they chatted easily, exchanging casual pleasantries that are key to "the art of polite conversation." Roger, who should have been charming one of the young ladies, was very engaged in what Mr. Gibson was saying about a paper on comparative osteology in a foreign scientific journal that Lord Hollingford regularly sent to the country surgeon. However, every now and then, while he listened, he found himself distracted by Cynthia’s face, as she sat between his brother and Mr. Gibson. She seemed less interested in what was happening; her eyelids were lazily closed as she crumbled her bread on the tablecloth, her stunning long eyelashes resting against her smooth cheek. She was lost in her thoughts, while Molly was straining to comprehend everything. Suddenly, Cynthia looked up and caught Roger staring at her with clear admiration, making her aware that he was watching. She flushed slightly, but after that initial moment of rosy embarrassment due to his obvious interest, she quickly shifted gears, turning his fluster into a playful defense against her teasing accusation.
"It is quite true!" she said to him. "I was not attending: you see I don't know even the A B C of science. But, please, don't look so severely at me, even if I am a dunce!"
"It’s absolutely true!" she said to him. "I wasn’t paying attention; you see, I don’t even know the basics of science. But please, don’t look at me so sternly, even if I am a bit slow!"
"I didn't know—I didn't mean to look severely, I am sure," replied he, not knowing well what to say.
"I didn't know—I didn't mean to look intense, I promise," he replied, unsure of what to say.
"Cynthia is not a dunce either," said Mrs. Gibson, afraid lest her daughter's opinion of herself might be taken seriously. "But I have always observed that some people have a talent for one thing and some for another. Now Cynthia's talents are not for science and the severer studies. Do you remember, love, what trouble I had to teach you the use of the globes?"
"Cynthia isn't clueless either," said Mrs. Gibson, worried that her daughter's self-esteem might be impacted. "But I've noticed that some people are good at one thing and others at something different. Now, Cynthia's strengths aren't in science or tougher subjects. Do you remember, dear, how much trouble I had teaching you to use the globes?"
"Yes; and I don't know longitude from latitude now; and I'm always puzzled as to which is perpendicular and which is horizontal."
"Yeah; and I can't tell longitude from latitude anymore; and I'm always confused about which is vertical and which is horizontal."
"Yet, I do assure you," her mother continued, rather addressing herself to Osborne, "that her memory for poetry is prodigious. I have heard her repeat the 'Prisoner of Chillon' from beginning to end."
"Yet, I assure you," her mother continued, mostly speaking to Osborne, "that she has an incredible memory for poetry. I've heard her recite the 'Prisoner of Chillon' from start to finish."
"It would be rather a bore to have to hear her, I think," said Mr. Gibson, smiling at Cynthia, who gave him back one of her bright looks of mutual understanding.
"It would be pretty boring to have to listen to her, I think," said Mr. Gibson, smiling at Cynthia, who responded with one of her bright looks of mutual understanding.
"Ah, Mr. Gibson, I have found out before now that you have no soul for poetry; and Molly there is your own child. She reads such deep books—all about facts and figures: she'll be quite a blue-stocking by-and-by."
"Ah, Mr. Gibson, I've realized before now that you have no appreciation for poetry; and Molly is just like you. She reads such serious books—all about facts and figures: she'll be quite the intellectual in no time."
"Mamma," said Molly, reddening, "you think it was a deep book because there were the shapes of the different cells of bees in it! but it was not at all deep. It was very interesting."
"Mama," said Molly, blushing, "you think it was a serious book just because it had the shapes of different bee cells in it! But it wasn't serious at all. It was really interesting."
"Never mind, Molly," said Osborne. "I stand up for blue-stockings."
"Don't worry about it, Molly," said Osborne. "I support intellectual women."
"And I object to the distinction implied in what you say," said Roger. "It was not deep, ergo, it was very interesting. Now, a book may be both deep and interesting."
"And I disagree with the distinction you’re making," said Roger. "Just because it wasn't deep, ergo, it was very interesting. A book can be both deep and interesting."
"Oh, if you are going to chop logic and use Latin words, I think it is time for us to leave the room," said Mrs. Gibson.
"Oh, if you're going to overanalyze and use Latin phrases, I think it's time for us to leave the room," said Mrs. Gibson.
"Don't let us run away as if we were beaten, mamma," said Cynthia. "Though it may be logic, I, for one, can understand what Mr. Roger Hamley said just now; and I read some of Molly's books; and whether it was deep or not I found it very interesting—more so than I should think the 'Prisoner of Chillon' now-a-days. I've displaced the Prisoner to make room for Johnnie Gilpin as my favourite poem."
"Don't let us walk away like we've lost, Mom," said Cynthia. "Even if it makes sense, I can understand what Mr. Roger Hamley just said; and I've read some of Molly's books; and whether it was profound or not, I found it really interesting—more so than I’d expect from the 'Prisoner of Chillon' these days. I've replaced the Prisoner to make room for Johnnie Gilpin as my favorite poem."
"How could you talk such nonsense, Cynthia!" said Mrs. Gibson, as the girls followed her upstairs. "You know you are not a dunce. It is all very well not to be a blue-stocking, because gentle-people don't like that kind of woman; but running yourself down, and contradicting all I said about your liking for Byron, and poets and poetry—to Osborne Hamley of all men, too!"
"How could you say something so ridiculous, Cynthia!" Mrs. Gibson said as the girls followed her upstairs. "You know you’re not stupid. It’s fine not to be a bookworm, since polite people don’t appreciate that type of woman; but putting yourself down and denying everything I said about your love for Byron, poets, and poetry—to Osborne Hamley of all people, too!"
Mrs. Gibson spoke quite crossly for her.
Mrs. Gibson spoke pretty angrily for her.
"But, mamma," Cynthia replied, "I am either a dunce, or I am not. If I am, I did right to own it; if I am not, he's a dunce if he doesn't find out I was joking."
"But, mom," Cynthia replied, "I'm either clueless or I'm not. If I am, I did the right thing by admitting it; if I'm not, he's clueless if he doesn't realize I was just kidding."
"Well," said Mrs. Gibson, a little puzzled by this speech, and wanting some elucidatory addition.
"Well," said Mrs. Gibson, a bit confused by this speech and wanting some clarification.
"Only that if he's a dunce his opinion of me is worth nothing. So, any way, it doesn't signify."
"Just that if he's an idiot, his opinion of me means nothing. So, either way, it doesn't matter."
"You really bewilder me with your nonsense, child. Molly is worth twenty of you."
"You really confuse me with your nonsense, kid. Molly is worth twenty of you."
"I quite agree with you, mamma," said Cynthia, turning round to take Molly's hand.
"I totally agree with you, Mom," said Cynthia, turning to take Molly's hand.
"Yes; but she ought not to be," said Mrs. Gibson, still irritated. "Think of the advantages you've had."
"Yes, but she shouldn't be," Mrs. Gibson said, still annoyed. "Think about the advantages you've had."
"I'm afraid I had rather be a dunce than a blue-stocking," said Molly; for the term had a little annoyed her, and the annoyance was rankling still.
"I'm afraid I'd rather be a fool than a know-it-all," said Molly; for the term had annoyed her a bit, and the irritation was still lingering.
"Hush; here they are coming: I hear the dining-room door! I never meant you were a blue-stocking, dear, so don't look vexed.—Cynthia, my love, where did you get those lovely flowers—anemones, are they? They suit your complexion so exactly."
"Hush; here they come: I can hear the dining-room door! I never meant to imply you were a blue-stocking, dear, so don’t look annoyed.—Cynthia, my love, where did you get those beautiful flowers—are they anemones? They match your complexion perfectly."
"Come, Molly, don't look so grave and thoughtful," exclaimed Cynthia. "Don't you perceive mamma wants us to be smiling and amiable?"
"Come on, Molly, don’t look so serious and deep in thought," Cynthia said. "Can’t you see Mom wants us to be happy and friendly?"
Mr. Gibson had had to go out to his evening round; and the young men were all too glad to come up into the pretty drawing-room; the bright little wood-fire; the comfortable easy-chairs which, with so small a party, might be drawn round the hearth; the good-natured hostess; the pretty, agreeable girls. Roger sauntered up to the corner where Cynthia was standing, playing with a hand-screen.
Mr. Gibson had to head out for his evening rounds, and the young men were all too happy to join the charming drawing room; the bright little wood fire, the comfy easy chairs that could be arranged around the hearth with such a small group, the friendly hostess, and the lovely, pleasant girls. Roger casually walked over to the corner where Cynthia was standing, playing with a hand screen.
"There is a charity ball in Hollingford soon, isn't there?" asked he.
"There’s a charity ball in Hollingford coming up soon, right?" he asked.
"Yes; on Easter Tuesday," she replied.
"Yeah; on Easter Tuesday," she replied.
"Are you going? I suppose you are?"
"Are you going? I guess you are?"
"Yes; mamma is going to take Molly and me."
"Yeah, Mom is going to take Molly and me."
"You will enjoy it very much—going together?"
"You'll enjoy it a lot—going together?"
For the first time during this little conversation she glanced up at him—real honest pleasure shining out of her eyes.
For the first time during this brief conversation, she looked up at him—genuine happiness lighting up her eyes.
"Yes; going together will make the enjoyment of the thing. It would be dull without her."
"Yeah; going together will make it more fun. It would be boring without her."
"You are great friends, then?" he asked.
"You guys are good friends, right?" he asked.
"I never thought I should like any one so much,—any girl I mean."
"I never thought I would like anyone so much—any girl, I mean."
She put in the final reservation in all simplicity of heart; and in all simplicity did he understand it. He came ever so little nearer, and dropped his voice a little.
She made the final reservation with a sincere heart; and he understood it just as sincerely. He moved a bit closer and lowered his voice slightly.
"I was so anxious to know. I am so glad. I have often wondered how you two were getting on."
"I was really eager to find out. I’m so happy. I’ve often thought about how you both were doing."
"Have you?" said she, looking up again. "At Cambridge? You must be very fond of Molly!"
"Have you?" she asked, looking up again. "At Cambridge? You must really like Molly!"
"Yes, I am. She was with us so long; and at such a time! I look upon her almost as a sister."
"Yes, I am. She was with us for so long; and at such a time! I see her almost as a sister."
"And she is very fond of all of you. I seem to know you all from hearing her talk about you so much.—All of you!" said she, laying an emphasis on "all" to show that it included the dead as well as the living. Roger was silent for a minute or two.
"And she really cares for all of you. I feel like I know each of you from hearing her talk about you so often.—All of you!" she said, stressing "all" to make it clear that it included both the dead and the living. Roger was quiet for a minute or two.
"I didn't know you, even by hearsay. So you mustn't wonder that I was a little afraid. But as soon as I saw you I knew how it must be; and it was such a relief!"
"I didn't know you, even by word of mouth. So you can't blame me for being a little scared. But as soon as I saw you, I understood how it was going to be; and it was such a relief!"
"Cynthia," said Mrs. Gibson, who thought that the younger son had had quite his share of low, confidential conversation, "come here, and sing that little French ballad to Mr. Osborne Hamley."
"Cynthia," said Mrs. Gibson, who believed that the younger son had already had enough of private conversations, "come here and sing that little French ballad for Mr. Osborne Hamley."
"Which do you mean, mamma? 'Tu t'en repentiras, Colin?'"
"Which do you mean, Mom? 'Are you going to regret it, Colin?'"
"Yes; such a pretty, playful little warning to young men," said Mrs. Gibson, smiling up at Osborne. "The refrain is—
"Yes; such a cute, playful little warning for young men," said Mrs. Gibson, smiling up at Osborne. "The refrain is—
Tu t'en repentiras, Colin, You'll regret it, Car si tu prends une femme, Colin, You'll regret it. |
The advice may apply very well when there is a French wife in the case; but not, I am sure, to an Englishman who is thinking of an English wife."
The advice might be spot on when there's a French wife involved, but I’m certain it doesn’t apply to an Englishman considering an English wife.
This choice of a song was exceedingly mal-àpropos, had Mrs. Gibson but known it. Osborne and Roger knowing that the wife of the former was a Frenchwoman, and, conscious of each other's knowledge, felt doubly awkward; while Molly was as much confused as though she herself were secretly married. However, Cynthia carolled the saucy ditty out, and her mother smiled at it, in total ignorance of any application it might have. Osborne had instinctively gone to stand behind Cynthia, as she sate at the piano, so as to be ready to turn over the leaves of her music if she required it. He kept his hands in his pockets and his eyes fixed on her fingers; his countenance clouded with gravity at all the merry quips which she so playfully sang. Roger looked grave as well, but was much more at his ease than his brother; indeed, he was half-amused by the awkwardness of the situation. He caught Molly's troubled eyes and heightened colour, and he saw that she was feeling this contretemps more seriously than she needed to do. He moved to a seat by her, and half whispered, "Too late a warning, is it not?"
This choice of song was really mal-àpropos, if only Mrs. Gibson had known. Osborne and Roger, aware that Osborne's wife was French, felt even more uncomfortable because they both knew this; meanwhile, Molly was as flustered as if she were secretly married herself. Still, Cynthia sang the cheeky tune, and her mother smiled at it, completely unaware of any implications it might have. Osborne instinctively moved to stand behind Cynthia as she sat at the piano, ready to turn the pages of her music if she needed help. He kept his hands in his pockets and his eyes on her fingers, his face serious despite all the playful lyrics she sang. Roger looked serious too, but he felt much more at ease than his brother; in fact, he found the awkwardness of the situation somewhat amusing. He noticed Molly's anxious eyes and flushed cheeks, realizing she was taking this contretemps more to heart than necessary. He sat down next to her and quietly said, "Isn't it a bit late for a warning?"
Molly looked up at him as he leant towards her, and replied in the same tone—"Oh, I am so sorry!"
Molly looked up at him as he leaned towards her and replied in the same tone, "Oh, I'm so sorry!"
"You need not be. He won't mind it long; and a man must take the consequences when he puts himself in a false position."
"You don’t have to be. He won’t care for long; and a man has to deal with the consequences when he puts himself in a wrong situation."
Molly could not tell what to reply to this, so she hung her head and kept silence. Yet she could see that Roger did not change his attitude or remove his hand from the back of his chair, and, impelled by curiosity to find out the cause of his stillness, she looked up at him at length, and saw his gaze fixed on the two who were near the piano. Osborne was saying something eagerly to Cynthia, whose grave eyes were upturned to him with soft intentness of expression, and her pretty mouth half-open, with a sort of impatience for him to cease speaking, that she might reply.
Molly didn’t know how to respond to this, so she lowered her head and stayed quiet. But she noticed that Roger didn’t change his demeanor or take his hand off the back of his chair. Driven by curiosity to understand why he was so still, she finally looked up at him and saw his gaze fixed on the two people near the piano. Osborne was speaking eagerly to Cynthia, whose serious eyes were focused on him with a soft intensity, and her pretty lips were slightly parted, as if she was impatient for him to stop talking so she could respond.
"They are talking about France," said Roger, in answer to Molly's unspoken question. "Osborne knows it well, and Miss Kirkpatrick has been at school there, you know. It sounds very interesting; shall we go nearer and hear what they are saying?"
"They're talking about France," Roger replied to Molly's unasked question. "Osborne knows it well, and Miss Kirkpatrick went to school there, you know. It sounds really interesting; should we go closer and listen to what they're saying?"
It was all very well to ask this civilly, but Molly thought it would have been better to wait for her answer. Instead of waiting, however, Roger went to the piano, and, leaning on it, appeared to join in the light merry talk, while he feasted his eyes as much as he dared by looking at Cynthia. Molly suddenly felt as if she could scarcely keep from crying—a minute ago he had been so near to her, and talking so pleasantly and confidentially; and now he almost seemed as if he had forgotten her existence. She thought that all this was wrong; and she exaggerated its wrongness to herself; "mean," and "envious of Cynthia," and "ill-natured," and "selfish," were the terms she kept applying to herself; but it did no good, she was just as naughty at the last as at the first.
It was nice for him to ask politely, but Molly felt it would have been better to wait for her response. Instead of waiting, though, Roger went to the piano, leaned on it, and seemed to join in the lighthearted conversation while he stole glances at Cynthia as much as he could. Molly suddenly felt like she could barely hold back tears—just a minute ago, he had been so close to her, sharing pleasant and confidential moments, and now it felt like he had forgotten she existed. She believed all of this was wrong and exaggerated how wrong it was in her mind; she kept calling herself "mean," "jealous of Cynthia," "bitter," and "selfish," but it didn’t help—she still felt just as upset in the end as she had at the beginning.
Mrs. Gibson broke into the state of things which Molly thought was to endure for ever. Her work had been intricate up to this time, and had required a great deal of counting; so she had had no time to attend to her duties, one of which she always took to be to show herself to the world as an impartial stepmother. Cynthia had played and sung, and now she must give Molly her turn of exhibition. Cynthia's singing and playing was light and graceful, but anything but correct; but she herself was so charming, that it was only fanatics for music who cared for false chords and omitted notes. Molly, on the contrary, had an excellent ear, if she had ever been well taught; and both from inclination and conscientious perseverance of disposition, she would go over an incorrect passage for twenty times. But she was very shy of playing in company; and when forced to do it, she went through her performance heavily, and hated her handiwork more than any one.
Mrs. Gibson disrupted the situation that Molly thought would go on forever. Her work had been complicated up to that point and required a lot of counting, so she hadn’t had time to focus on her responsibilities, one of which she always felt was to present herself to the world as a fair stepmother. Cynthia had played and sung, and now it was Molly’s turn to showcase her skills. Cynthia's singing and playing were light and graceful, but far from precise; however, she was so charming that only music fanatics were bothered by the wrong notes and missed chords. Molly, on the other hand, had a great ear, if she had ever received proper instruction; and both out of interest and diligent determination, she would practice a difficult passage twenty times. But she was very shy about performing in front of others, and when she was made to do it, she played heavily and disliked her performance more than anyone else did.
"Now, you must play a little, Molly," said Mrs. Gibson; "play us that beautiful piece of Kalkbrenner's, my dear."
"Now, you need to play a bit, Molly," said Mrs. Gibson; "play that beautiful piece by Kalkbrenner for us, dear."
Molly looked up at her stepmother with beseeching eyes; but it only brought out another form of request, still more like a command.
Molly looked up at her stepmother with pleading eyes; but it only resulted in another kind of request, one that felt even more like a command.
"Go at once, my dear. You may not play it quite rightly; and I know you are very nervous; but you're quite amongst friends."
"Go on right away, my dear. You might not play it perfectly, and I know you’re really nervous, but you’re with friends."
So there was a disturbance made in the little group at the piano, and Molly sate down to her martyrdom.
So there was a commotion in the small group at the piano, and Molly sat down to endure her suffering.
"Please, go away!" said she to Osborne, who was standing behind her ready to turn over. "I can quite well do it for myself. And oh! if you would but talk!"
"Please, just go away!" she said to Osborne, who was standing behind her ready to help. "I can totally handle this on my own. And oh! if only you would talk!"
Osborne remained where he was in spite of her appeal, and gave her what little approval she got; for Mrs. Gibson, exhausted by her previous labour of counting her stitches, fell asleep in her comfortable sofa-corner near the fire; and Roger, who began at first to talk a little in compliance with Molly's request, found his conversation with Cynthia so agreeable, that Molly lost her place several times in trying to catch a sudden glimpse of Cynthia sitting at her work, and Roger by her, intent on catching her low replies to what he was saying.
Osborne stayed put despite her plea and offered her the little bit of approval he could. Mrs. Gibson, worn out from counting her stitches earlier, dozed off in her favorite spot on the couch by the fire. Roger, who initially tried to chat a bit as Molly asked, found his conversation with Cynthia so enjoyable that Molly lost her place a few times while trying to sneak a look at Cynthia working, with Roger beside her, focused on catching her soft responses to his comments.
"There, now I've done!" said Molly, standing up quickly as soon as she had finished the eighteen dreary pages; "and I think I will never sit down to play again!"
"There, I’m done!" said Molly, jumping up as soon as she finished the eighteen boring pages; "and I don’t think I’ll ever sit down to play again!"
Osborne laughed at her vehemence. Cynthia began to take some part in what was being said, and thus made the conversation general. Mrs. Gibson wakened up gracefully, as was her way of doing all things, and slid into the subjects they were talking about so easily, that she almost succeeded in making them believe she had never been asleep at all.
Osborne chuckled at her intensity. Cynthia started to engage in the conversation, which made it more inclusive. Mrs. Gibson gracefully woke up, as she did with everything, and seamlessly joined the topics they were discussing, almost convincing them that she had never been asleep at all.
CHAPTER XXV.
HOLLINGFORD IN A BUSTLE.
All Hollingford felt as if there was a great deal to be done before Easter this year. There was Easter proper, which always required new clothing of some kind, for fear of certain consequences from little birds, who were supposed to resent the impiety of those that did not wear some new article of dress on Easter-day. And most ladies considered it wiser that the little birds should see the new article for themselves, and not have to take it upon trust, as they would have to do if it were merely a pocket-handkerchief, or a petticoat, or any article of under-clothing. So piety demanded a new bonnet, or a new gown; and was barely satisfied with an Easter pair of gloves. Miss Rose was generally very busy just before Easter in Hollingford. Then this year there was the charity ball. Ashcombe, Hollingford, and Coreham were three neighbouring towns, of about the same number of population, lying at the three equidistant corners of a triangle. In imitation of greater cities with their festivals, these three towns had agreed to have an annual ball for the benefit of the county hospital to be held in turn at each place; and Hollingford was to be the place this year.
Everyone in Hollingford felt there was a lot to do before Easter this year. There was the actual Easter celebration, which always required some new clothes, out of fear of the little birds that were thought to be offended by those who didn’t wear something new on Easter day. Most women believed it was better for the little birds to see the new item in person rather than just trust that it was new, like a handkerchief, a petticoat, or any piece of undergarment. So, tradition called for a new bonnet or a new dress; a new pair of gloves for Easter was barely enough. Miss Rose typically kept very busy right before Easter in Hollingford. This year, there was also the charity ball. Ashcombe, Hollingford, and Coreham were three neighboring towns, each with a similar population, located at the three corners of a triangle. In the spirit of larger cities and their festivals, these towns had decided to hold an annual ball to raise funds for the county hospital, rotating the location each year, and it was Hollingford's turn this year.
It was a fine time for hospitality, and every house of any pretension was as full as it could hold, and flys were engaged long months before.
It was a great time for hospitality, and every house with any status was filled to capacity, with guests booked long months in advance.
If Mrs. Gibson could have asked Osborne, or in default, Roger Hamley to go to the ball with them and to sleep at their house,—or if, indeed, she could have picked up any stray scion of a "county family" to whom such an offer would have been a convenience, she would have restored her own dressing-room to its former use as the spare-room, with pleasure. But she did not think it was worth her while to put herself out for any of the humdrum and ill-dressed women who had been her former acquaintances at Ashcombe. For Mr. Preston it might have been worth while to give up her room, considering him in the light of a handsome and prosperous young man, and a good dancer besides. But there were more lights in which he was to be viewed. Mr. Gibson, who really wanted to return the hospitality shown to him by Mr. Preston at the time of his marriage, had yet an instinctive distaste to the man, which no wish of freeing himself from obligation, nor even the more worthy feeling of hospitality, could overcome. Mrs. Gibson had some old grudges of her own against him, but she was not one to retain angry feelings, or be very active in her retaliation; she was afraid of Mr. Preston, and admired him at the same time. It was awkward too—so she said—to go into a ball-room without any gentleman at all, and Mr. Gibson was so uncertain! On the whole—partly for this last-given reason, and partly because conciliation was the best policy, Mrs. Gibson was slightly in favour of inviting Mr. Preston to be their guest. But as soon as Cynthia heard the question discussed—or rather, as soon as she heard it discussed in Mr. Gibson's absence, she said that if Mr. Preston came to be their visitor on the occasion, she for one would not go to the ball at all. She did not speak with vehemence or in anger; but with such quiet resolution that Molly looked up in surprise. She saw that Cynthia was keeping her eyes fixed on her work, and that she had no intention of meeting any one's gaze, or giving any further explanation. Mrs. Gibson, too, looked perplexed, and once or twice seemed on the point of asking some question; but she was not angry as Molly had fully expected. She watched Cynthia furtively and in silence for a minute or two, and then said that, after all, she could not conveniently give up her dressing-room; and, altogether, they had better say no more about it. So no stranger was invited to stay at Mr. Gibson's at the time of the ball; but Mrs. Gibson openly spoke of her regret at the unavoidable inhospitality, and hoped that they might be able to build an addition to their house before the next triennial Hollingford ball.
If Mrs. Gibson could have asked Osborne, or if he wasn't available, Roger Hamley to go to the ball with them and stay at their house—and if she could have found any random member of a "county family" who would have benefited from such an invitation, she would have happily turned her dressing room back into the guest room. But she didn’t think it was worth the effort to accommodate any of the dull and poorly dressed women she used to know at Ashcombe. For Mr. Preston, it might have been worth giving up her room, considering he was a handsome, successful young man and a good dancer. However, there were other perspectives to consider. Mr. Gibson, who really wanted to return the hospitality Mr. Preston had shown him at his wedding, still had a natural dislike for the man that the desire to repay a favor, or even the more noble feeling of hospitality, couldn’t overcome. Mrs. Gibson had her own old grudges against him, but she wasn't one to hold onto anger or pursue revenge actively; she felt both fear and admiration for Mr. Preston. She also found it awkward, as she said, to enter a ballroom without any gentleman at all, and Mr. Gibson was so unpredictable! Overall—partly because of that last reason and partly because she believed in keeping the peace—Mrs. Gibson leaned towards inviting Mr. Preston to be their guest. But as soon as Cynthia heard the topic discussed—or rather, as soon as it was talked about in Mr. Gibson's absence—she declared that if Mr. Preston came to visit them for the occasion, she wouldn’t go to the ball at all. She didn't speak with anger or passion; her calm resolution surprised Molly. She noticed that Cynthia was focused on her work, avoiding eye contact and not offering any further explanation. Mrs. Gibson, looking confused, seemed on the verge of asking a question a couple of times, but she wasn’t angry as Molly had expected. She watched Cynthia quietly for a minute or two, then said that in the end, she could not conveniently give up her dressing room; overall, they should drop the subject. So, no stranger was invited to stay at Mr. Gibson's during the ball, but Mrs. Gibson openly expressed her regret over the unavoidable lack of hospitality and hoped they could add on to their house before the next triennial Hollingford ball.
Another cause of unusual bustle at Hollingford this Easter was the expected return of the family to the Towers, after their unusually long absence. Mr. Sheepshanks might be seen trotting up and down on his stout old cob, speaking to attentive masons, plasterers, and glaziers about putting everything—on the outside at least—about the cottages belonging to "my lord," in perfect repair. Lord Cumnor owned the greater part of the town; and those who lived under other landlords, or in houses of their own, were stirred up by the dread of contrast to do up their dwellings. So the ladders of whitewashers and painters were sadly in the way of the ladies tripping daintily along to make their purchases, and holding their gowns up in a bunch behind, after a fashion quite gone out in these days. The housekeeper and steward from the Towers might also be seen coming in to give orders at the various shops; and stopping here and there at those kept by favourites, to avail themselves of the eagerly-tendered refreshments.
Another reason for the unusual activity in Hollingford this Easter was the anticipated return of the family to the Towers after being away for an unusually long time. Mr. Sheepshanks could be seen trotting around on his sturdy old horse, talking to attentive masons, plasterers, and glaziers about getting everything—at least on the outside—of the cottages owned by "my lord" in perfect condition. Lord Cumnor owned most of the town, and those who lived under other landlords or in their own houses felt pressured by the fear of looking shabby to spruce up their homes. As a result, the ladders of whitewashers and painters were getting in the way of the ladies who were carefully making their purchases, holding their dresses up in a bunch behind them in a style that's no longer in vogue. The housekeeper and steward from the Towers could also be spotted coming in to give orders at the various shops, stopping here and there at those owned by favorites to enjoy the eagerly offered refreshments.
Lady Harriet came to call on her old governess the day after the arrival of the family at the Towers. Molly and Cynthia were out walking when she came—doing some errands for Mrs. Gibson, who had a secret idea that Lady Harriet would call at the particular time she did, and had a not uncommon wish to talk to her ladyship without the corrective presence of any member of her own family.
Lady Harriet visited her former governess the day after the family arrived at the Towers. Molly and Cynthia were out for a walk when she arrived, running some errands for Mrs. Gibson, who secretly hoped that Lady Harriet would come by at that specific time and wanted to chat with her ladyship without any family member around.
Mrs. Gibson did not give Molly the message of remembrance that Lady Harriet had left for her; but she imparted various pieces of news relating to the Towers with great animation and interest. The Duchess of Menteith and her daughter, Lady Alice, were coming to the Towers; would be there the day of the ball; would come to the ball; and the Menteith diamonds were famous. That was piece of news the first. The second was that ever so many gentlemen were coming to the Towers—some English, some French. This piece of news would have come first in order of importance had there been much probability of their being dancing men, and, as such, possible partners at the coming ball. But Lady Harriet had spoken of them as Lord Hollingford's friends, useless scientific men in all probability. Then, finally, Mrs. Gibson was to go to the Towers next day to lunch; Lady Cumnor had written a little note by Lady Harriet to beg her to come; if Mrs. Gibson could manage to find her way to the Towers, one of the carriages in use should bring her back to her own home in the course of the afternoon.
Mrs. Gibson didn’t pass on the message of remembrance that Lady Harriet had left for Molly; instead, she excitedly shared various bits of news about the Towers. The Duchess of Menteith and her daughter, Lady Alice, were coming to the Towers; they would be there on the day of the ball and would attend the ball, and everyone knew the Menteith diamonds were famous. That was the first piece of news. The second was that a number of gentlemen were coming to the Towers—some English, some French. This news would have been more important if there was a good chance they would be dancing men and potential partners at the upcoming ball. But Lady Harriet described them as Lord Hollingford's friends, probably useless scientific types. Lastly, Mrs. Gibson was scheduled to go to the Towers the next day for lunch; Lady Cumnor had written a short note through Lady Harriet asking her to come. If Mrs. Gibson could find her way to the Towers, one of the carriages would bring her back home in the afternoon.
"The dear countess!" said Mrs. Gibson, with soft affection. It was a soliloquy, uttered after a minute's pause, at the end of all this information.
"The dear countess!" said Mrs. Gibson, with gentle affection. It was a moment of reflection, spoken after a brief pause, following all this information.
And all the rest of that day her conversation had an aristocratic perfume hanging about it. One of the few books she had brought with her into Mr. Gibson's house was bound in pink, and in it she studied "Menteith, Duke of, Adolphus George," &c., &c., till she was fully up in all the duchess's connections, and probable interests. Mr. Gibson made his mouth up into a droll whistle when he came home at night, and found himself in a Towers' atmosphere. Molly saw the shade of annoyance through the drollery; she was beginning to see it oftener than she liked, not that she reasoned upon it, or that she consciously traced the annoyance to its source; but she could not help feeling uneasy in herself when she knew her father was in the least put out.
And all that day, her conversation had a touch of aristocracy to it. One of the few books she had brought with her to Mr. Gibson's house was covered in pink, and she immersed herself in "Menteith, Duke of, Adolphus George," etc., until she was fully knowledgeable about all the duchess's connections and possible interests. Mr. Gibson puckered his lips into a funny whistle when he came home at night and found himself in a Towers' vibe. Molly noticed the hint of annoyance behind the humor; she was starting to see it more often than she wanted, not that she analyzed it or clearly traced the annoyance to its cause, but she couldn’t shake off the uneasiness when she knew her father was even slightly upset.
Of course a fly was ordered for Mrs. Gibson. In the early afternoon she came home. If she had been disappointed in her interview with the countess she never told her woe, nor revealed the fact that when she first arrived at the Towers she had to wait for an hour in Lady Cumnor's morning-room, uncheered by any companionship save that of her old friend, Mrs. Bradley, till suddenly, Lady Harriet coming in, she exclaimed, "Why, Clare! you dear woman! are you here all alone? Does mamma know?" And, after a little more affectionate conversation, she rushed to find her ladyship, who was perfectly aware of the fact, but too deep in giving the duchess the benefit of her wisdom and experience in trousseaux to be at all aware of the length of time Mrs. Gibson had been passing in patient solitude. At lunch Mrs. Gibson was secretly hurt by my lord's supposing it to be her dinner, and calling out his urgent hospitality from the very bottom of the table, giving as a reason for it, that she must remember it was her dinner. In vain she piped out in her soft, high voice, "Oh, my lord! I never eat meat in the middle of the day; I can hardly eat anything at lunch." Her voice was lost, and the duchess might go away with the idea that the Hollingford doctor's wife dined early; that is to say, if her grace ever condescended to have any idea on the subject at all; which presupposes that she was cognizant of the fact of there being a doctor at Hollingford, and that he had a wife, and that his wife was the pretty, faded, elegant-looking woman sending away her plate of untasted food—food which she longed to eat, for she was really desperately hungry after her drive and her solitude.
Of course, a ride was arranged for Mrs. Gibson. In the early afternoon, she came home. If she had been disappointed by her meeting with the countess, she never shared her feelings and kept quiet about the fact that when she first arrived at the Towers, she had to wait for an hour in Lady Cumnor's morning room, with no company except her old friend, Mrs. Bradley. Suddenly, Lady Harriet walked in and exclaimed, "Clare! You dear woman! Are you here all alone? Does mom know?" After a bit more affectionate conversation, she rushed off to find her ladyship, who was fully aware of the situation but was too busy sharing her wisdom and experience about trousseaux with the duchess to notice how long Mrs. Gibson had been waiting in solitude. At lunch, Mrs. Gibson felt secretly hurt when my lord assumed it was dinner time for her and called out his generous invitation from the far end of the table, justifying it by saying she must remember it was her dinner. In vain, she piped up in her soft, high voice, "Oh, my lord! I never eat meat in the middle of the day; I can hardly eat anything at lunch." Her voice was drowned out, and the duchess might leave with the assumption that the doctor's wife from Hollingford dined early; that is, if her grace even bothered to consider such a thing, which would mean she knew there was a doctor in Hollingford, that he had a wife, and that his wife was the pretty, faded, elegant-looking woman pushing away her untouched food—food she desperately wanted to eat, as she was really starving after her drive and the solitude.
And then after lunch there did come a tête-à-tête with Lady Cumnor, which was conducted after this wise:—
And then after lunch, there was a tête-à-tête with Lady Cumnor, which went like this:—
"Well, Clare! I am really glad to see you. I once thought I should never get back to the Towers, but here I am! There was such a clever man at Bath—a Doctor Snape—he cured me at last—quite set me up. I really think if ever I am ill again I shall send for him: it is such a thing to find a really clever medical man. Oh, by the way, I always forget you've married Mr. Gibson—of course he is very clever, and all that. (The carriage to the door in ten minutes, Brown, and desire Bradley to bring my things down.) What was I asking you? Oh! how do you get on with the stepdaughter? She seemed to me to be a young lady with a pretty stubborn will of her own. I put a letter for the post down somewhere, and I cannot think where; do help me look for it, there's a good woman. Just run to my room, and see if Brown can find it, for it is of great consequence."
"Well, Clare! I'm really glad to see you. I honestly thought I might never return to the Towers, but here I am! There was this brilliant guy in Bath—Dr. Snape—he finally helped me out—totally got me back on my feet. I really think that if I ever get sick again, I'll call for him; it's such a relief to find a truly talented doctor. Oh, by the way, I always forget you’re married to Mr. Gibson—of course, he’s very smart and all that. (The carriage will be at the door in ten minutes, Brown, and please ask Bradley to bring my things down.) What was I asking you? Oh! How are you getting along with your stepdaughter? She struck me as a young lady with quite a stubborn will. I put a letter for the post down somewhere, and I can't remember where; please help me look for it, would you? Just run to my room and see if Brown can find it because it's really important."
Off went Mrs. Gibson, rather unwillingly; for there were several things she wanted to speak about, and she had not heard half of what she had expected to learn of the family gossip. But all chance was gone; for when she came back from her fruitless errand, Lady Cumnor and the duchess were in full talk, Lady Cumnor with the missing letter in her hand, which she was using something like a baton to enforce her words.
Off went Mrs. Gibson, somewhat reluctantly; there were a few things she wanted to discuss, and she hadn’t heard half of what she expected to learn about the family gossip. But that chance was lost; when she returned from her pointless errand, Lady Cumnor and the duchess were deep in conversation, with Lady Cumnor holding the missing letter in her hand like a baton to emphasize her points.
"Every iota from Paris! Every i-o-ta!"
"Every bit from Paris! Every bit!"
Lady Cumnor was too much of a lady not to apologize for useless trouble, but they were nearly the last words she spoke to Mrs. Gibson, for she had to go out and drive with the duchess; and the brougham to take "Clare" (as she persisted in calling Mrs. Gibson) back to Hollingford followed the carriage to the door. Lady Harriet came away from her entourage of young men and young ladies, all prepared for some walking expedition, to wish Mrs. Gibson good-by.
Lady Cumnor was too much of a lady not to say sorry for unnecessary trouble, but those were almost the last words she said to Mrs. Gibson, as she had to head out and drive with the duchess; the carriage to take "Clare" (as she insisted on calling Mrs. Gibson) back to Hollingford followed the carriage to the door. Lady Harriet left her group of young men and women, all set for a walking outing, to say goodbye to Mrs. Gibson.
"We shall see you at the ball," she said. "You'll be there with your two girls, of course, and I must have a little talk with you there; with all these visitors in the house, it has been impossible to see anything of you to-day, you know."
"We'll see you at the ball," she said. "You'll be there with your two girls, of course, and I need to have a little chat with you there; with all these guests in the house, it’s been impossible to catch up with you today, you know."
Such were the facts, but rose-colour was the medium through which they were seen by Mrs. Gibson's household listeners on her return.
Such were the facts, but everything looked better through rose-colored glasses for Mrs. Gibson's household listeners when she returned.
"There are many visitors staying at the Towers—oh, yes! a great many: the duchess and Lady Alice, and Mr. and Mrs. Grey, and Lord Albert Monson and his sister, and my old friend Captain James of the Blues—many more, in fact. But, of course, I preferred going to Lady Cumnor's own room, where I could see her and Lady Harriet quietly, and where we were not disturbed by the bustle downstairs. Of course we were obliged to go down to lunch, and then I saw my old friends, and renewed pleasant acquaintances. But I really could hardly get any connected conversation with any one. Lord Cumnor seemed so delighted to see me there again: though there were six or seven between us, he was always interrupting with some civil or kind speech especially addressed to me. And after lunch Lady Cumnor asked me all sorts of questions about my new life with as much interest as if I had been her daughter. To be sure, when the duchess came in we had to leave off, and talk about the trousseau she is preparing for Lady Alice. Lady Harriet made such a point of our meeting at the ball; she is such a good, affectionate creature, is Lady Harriet!"
"There are a lot of guests staying at the Towers—oh, yes! Quite a few: the duchess and Lady Alice, Mr. and Mrs. Grey, Lord Albert Monson and his sister, and my old friend Captain James of the Blues—many more, really. But, of course, I preferred to go to Lady Cumnor's room, where I could see her and Lady Harriet in peace, away from the hustle and bustle downstairs. We had to go down for lunch, and then I saw my old friends and reconnected with pleasant acquaintances. But I really struggled to have a meaningful conversation with anyone. Lord Cumnor seemed so happy to see me there again: even with six or seven people between us, he kept interrupting with polite or kind remarks just for me. After lunch, Lady Cumnor asked me all sorts of questions about my new life with so much interest as if I were her daughter. Of course, when the duchess came in, we had to stop and talk about the trousseau she’s preparing for Lady Alice. Lady Harriet insisted on our meeting at the ball; she’s such a sweet, caring person, Lady Harriet!"
This last was said in a tone of meditative appreciation.
This was said with a thoughtful sense of appreciation.
The afternoon of the day on which the ball was to take place, a servant rode over from Hamley with two lovely nosegays, "with the Mr. Hamleys' compliments to Miss Gibson and Miss Kirkpatrick." Cynthia was the first to receive them. She came dancing into the drawing-room, flourishing the flowers about in either hand, and danced up to Molly, who was trying to settle to her reading, by way of passing the time away till the evening came.
The afternoon of the day of the ball, a servant rode over from Hamley with two beautiful bouquets, "with the Mr. Hamleys' compliments to Miss Gibson and Miss Kirkpatrick." Cynthia was the first to get them. She skipped into the drawing room, waving the flowers in each hand, and danced over to Molly, who was trying to focus on her reading to pass the time until the evening arrived.
"Look, Molly, look! Here are bouquets for us! Long life to the givers!"
"Look, Molly, look! Here are bouquets for us! Cheers to the givers!"
"Who are they from?" asked Molly, taking hold of one, and examining it with tender delight at its beauty.
"Who are they from?" Molly asked, picking one up and admiring its beauty with genuine delight.
"Who from? Why, the two paragons of Hamleys, to be sure. Is it not a pretty attention?"
"Who’s it from? Oh, the two icons of Hamleys, of course. Isn’t it a nice gesture?"
"How kind of them!" said Molly.
"That was really nice of them!" said Molly.
"I'm sure it is Osborne who thought of it. He has been so much abroad, where it is such a common compliment to send bouquets to young ladies."
"I'm sure it was Osborne who came up with the idea. He has traveled so much, where it's quite common to send flowers to young women."
"I don't see why you should think it is Osborne's thought!" said Molly, reddening a little. "Mr. Roger Hamley used to gather nosegays constantly for his mother, and sometimes for me."
"I don't understand why you would think it's Osborne's idea!" said Molly, blushing a little. "Mr. Roger Hamley used to pick flowers all the time for his mother, and sometimes for me."
"Well, never mind whose thought it was, or who gathered them; we've got the flowers, and that's enough. Molly, I'm sure these red flowers will just match your coral necklace and bracelets," said Cynthia, pulling out some camellias, then a rare kind of flower.
"Well, it doesn't matter whose idea it was or who collected them; we have the flowers, and that's what counts. Molly, I bet these red flowers will perfectly match your coral necklace and bracelets," said Cynthia, taking out some camellias, followed by a rare type of flower.
"Oh, please, don't!" exclaimed Molly. "Don't you see how carefully the colours are arranged—they have taken such pains; please, don't."
"Oh, please, don’t!" Molly exclaimed. "Can’t you see how carefully the colors are arranged—they’ve put so much effort into it; please, don’t."
"Nonsense!" said Cynthia, continuing to pull them out; "see, here are quite enough. I'll make you a little coronet of them—sewn on black velvet, which will never be seen—just as they do in France!"
"Nonsense!" said Cynthia, pulling them out. "Look, here are plenty. I'll make you a little crown out of them—sewn onto black velvet, so it’ll never be seen—just like they do in France!"
"Oh, I am so sorry! It is quite spoilt," said Molly.
"Oh, I'm so sorry! It’s really ruined," said Molly.
"Never mind! I'll take this spoilt bouquet; I can make it up again just as prettily as ever; and you shall have this, which has never been touched." Cynthia went on arranging the crimson buds and flowers to her taste. Molly said nothing, but kept watching Cynthia's nimble fingers tying up the wreath.
"Never mind! I'll take this ruined bouquet; I can fix it up just as beautifully as ever; and you can have this one, which hasn't been touched." Cynthia continued to arrange the crimson buds and flowers to her liking. Molly said nothing, but kept watching Cynthia's quick fingers tying the wreath.
"There!" said Cynthia, at last, "when that is sewn on black velvet, to keep the flowers from dying, you'll see how pretty it will look. And there are enough red flowers in this untouched nosegay to carry out the idea!"
"There!" Cynthia finally said, "once that's sewn onto the black velvet to keep the flowers from wilting, you'll see how beautiful it will look. And there are enough red flowers in this fresh nosegay to make the idea work!"
"Thank you" (very slowly). "But sha'n't you mind having only the wrecks of the other?"
"Thank you," she said slowly. "But won't you mind having only the leftovers of the other?"
"Not I; red flowers would not go with my pink dress."
"Not me; red flowers wouldn't match my pink dress."
"But—I daresay they arranged each nosegay so carefully!"
"But—I bet they arranged each bouquet so carefully!"
"Perhaps they did. But I never would allow sentiment to interfere with my choice of colours; and pink does tie one down. Now you, in white muslin, just tipped with crimson, like a daisy, may wear anything."
"Maybe they did. But I would never let feelings get in the way of my color choices; plus, pink feels restrictive. Now you, in white muslin, just edged with crimson, like a daisy, can wear anything."
Cynthia took the utmost pains in dressing Molly, leaving the clever housemaid to her mother's exclusive service. Mrs. Gibson was more anxious about her attire than was either of the girls; it had given her occasion for deep thought and not a few sighs. Her deliberation had ended in her wearing her pearl-grey satin wedding-gown, with a profusion of lace, and white and coloured lilacs. Cynthia was the one who took the affair most lightly. Molly looked upon the ceremony of dressing for a first ball as rather a serious ceremony; certainly as an anxious proceeding. Cynthia was almost as anxious as herself; only Molly wanted her appearance to be correct and unnoticed; and Cynthia was desirous of setting off Molly's rather peculiar charms—her cream-coloured skin, her profusion of curly black hair, her beautiful long-shaped eyes, with their shy, loving expression. Cynthia took up so much time in dressing Molly to her mind, that she herself had to perform her toilette in a hurry. Molly, ready dressed, sate on a low chair in Cynthia's room, watching the pretty creature's rapid movements, as she stood in her petticoat before the glass, doing up her hair, with quick certainty of effect. At length, Molly heaved a long sigh, and said,—
Cynthia put a lot of effort into getting Molly ready, leaving the skilled housemaid to focus solely on her mother. Mrs. Gibson was more concerned about her outfit than either of the girls; it had given her plenty to think about and brought on several sighs. After much consideration, she decided to wear her pearl-grey satin wedding gown, complete with lots of lace and white and colored lilacs. Cynthia, on the other hand, took the whole event lightly. Molly viewed the process of getting ready for her first ball as quite serious and definitely nerve-wracking. Cynthia was almost as anxious as Molly; however, Molly wanted to look perfect without drawing attention, while Cynthia aimed to highlight Molly's unique features—her creamy skin, her abundant curly black hair, and her beautiful long-shaped eyes, which had a shy, loving expression. Cynthia spent so much time ensuring Molly looked just right that she had to rush through her own preparations. Once Molly was fully dressed, she sat on a low chair in Cynthia's room, watching the pretty girl move quickly as she stood in her petticoat in front of the mirror, styling her hair with a keen sense of effectiveness. Finally, Molly let out a long sigh and said,—
"I should like to be pretty!"
"I want to be pretty!"
"Why, Molly," said Cynthia, turning round with an exclamation on the tip of her tongue; but when she caught the innocent, wistful look on Molly's face, she instinctively checked what she was going to say, and, half-smiling to her own reflection in the glass, she said,—"The French girls would tell you, to believe that you were pretty would make you so."
"Why, Molly," Cynthia said, turning around with an exclamation ready to spill out; but when she saw the innocent, longing look on Molly's face, she instinctively held back what she was about to say. Half-smiling at her own reflection in the glass, she said, "The French girls would tell you that believing you’re pretty would actually make you so."
Molly paused before replying,—
Molly hesitated before responding,—
"I suppose they would mean that if you knew you were pretty, you would never think about your looks; you would be so certain of being liked, and that it is caring—"
"I guess they would mean that if you knew you were pretty, you would never think about your looks; you would be so sure of being liked, and that it is caring—
"Listen! that's eight o'clock striking. Don't trouble yourself with trying to interpret a French girl's meaning, but help me on with my frock, there's a dear one."
"Listen! That's eight o'clock ringing. Don't bother trying to figure out what a French girl means, but help me put on my dress, please."
The two girls were dressed, and were standing over the fire waiting for the carriage in Cynthia's room, when Maria (Betty's successor) came hurrying into the room. Maria had been officiating as maid to Mrs. Gibson, but she had had intervals of leisure, in which she had rushed upstairs, and, under the pretence of offering her services, had seen the young ladies' dresses, and the sight of so many nice clothes had sent her into a state of excitement which made her think nothing of rushing upstairs for the twentieth time, with a nosegay still more beautiful than the two previous ones.
The two girls were dressed and standing by the fire waiting for the carriage in Cynthia's room when Maria (Betty's replacement) hurried in. Maria had been working as a maid for Mrs. Gibson, but she had found moments to sneak upstairs. Under the guise of offering her help, she had checked out the young ladies' dresses, and seeing so many beautiful clothes had made her so excited that she didn't hesitate to rush upstairs for the twentieth time, this time with an even more beautiful bouquet than the last two.
"Here, Miss Kirkpatrick! No, it's not for you, miss!" as Molly, being nearer to the door, offered to take it and pass it to Cynthia. "It's for Miss Kirkpatrick; and there's a note for her besides!"
"Here, Miss Kirkpatrick! No, it's not for you, miss!" Molly said as she stood closer to the door, eager to take it and hand it to Cynthia. "It's for Miss Kirkpatrick; and there's a note for her too!"
Cynthia said nothing, but took the note and the flowers. She held the
note so that Molly could read it at the same time she did.
Cynthia stayed quiet but took the note and the flowers. She positioned the note so Molly could read it at the same time as her.
I send you some flowers; and you must allow me to claim the first dance after nine o'clock, before which time I fear I cannot arrive.—R. P.
I’m sending you some flowers, and you have to let me have the first dance after nine o'clock, because I’m afraid I won’t be able to get there before then.—R. P.
"Who is it?" asked Molly.
"Who's there?" asked Molly.
Cynthia looked extremely irritated, indignant, perplexed—what was it turned her cheek so pale, and made her eyes so full of fire?
Cynthia looked really annoyed, upset, and confused—what made her face so pale and her eyes so intense?
"It is Mr. Preston," said she, in answer to Molly. "I shall not dance with him; and here go his flowers—"
"It’s Mr. Preston," she replied to Molly. "I won't dance with him; and here go his blooms—"
Into the very middle of the embers, which she immediately stirred down upon the beautiful shrivelling petals as if she wished to annihilate them as soon as possible. Her voice had never been raised; it was as sweet as usual; nor, though her movements were prompt enough, were they hasty or violent.
Into the middle of the glowing embers, she quickly stirred them down onto the beautiful, wilting petals as if she wanted to destroy them as soon as possible. Her voice had never been louder; it was as sweet as always; and although her movements were quick, they were neither rushed nor aggressive.
"Oh!" said Molly, "those beautiful flowers! We might have put them in water."
"Oh!" said Molly, "those gorgeous flowers! We should have put them in water."
"No," said Cynthia; "it's best to destroy them. We don't want them; and I can't bear to be reminded of that man."
"No," Cynthia said. "It's better to get rid of them. We don't need them, and I can't stand being reminded of that guy."
"It was an impertinent familiar note," said Molly. "What right had he to express himself in that way—no beginning, no end, and only initials! Did you know him well when you were at Ashcombe, Cynthia?"
"It was a rude and familiar note," said Molly. "What right did he have to speak like that—no greeting, no sign-off, and just initials! Did you know him well when you were at Ashcombe, Cynthia?"
"Oh, don't let us think any more about him," replied Cynthia. "It is quite enough to spoil any pleasure at the ball to think that he will be there. But I hope I shall get engaged before he comes, so that I can't dance with him—and don't you, either!"
"Oh, let's not think about him anymore," replied Cynthia. "It'll totally ruin the fun at the ball knowing he'll be there. But I hope I get engaged before he arrives, so I won't have to dance with him—and you shouldn’t either!"
"There! they are calling for us," exclaimed Molly, and with quick step, yet careful of their draperies, they made their way downstairs to the place where Mr. and Mrs. Gibson awaited them. Yes; Mr. Gibson was going,—even if he had to leave them afterwards to attend to any professional call. And Molly suddenly began to admire her father as a handsome man, when she saw him now, in full evening attire. Mrs. Gibson, too—how pretty she was! In short, it was true that no better-looking a party than these four people entered the Hollingford ball-room that evening.
"There! They’re calling for us," Molly exclaimed, and with quick steps, while being careful with their dresses, they made their way downstairs to where Mr. and Mrs. Gibson were waiting for them. Yes, Mr. Gibson was going— even if he had to leave them later to attend to a work obligation. And Molly suddenly started to see her father as a handsome man when she saw him now in full evening attire. Mrs. Gibson, too—she looked so pretty! In short, it was true that no better-looking group than these four entered the Hollingford ballroom that evening.
CHAPTER XXVI.
A CHARITY BALL.
At the present time there are few people at a public ball besides the dancers and their chaperones, or relations in some degree interested in them. But in the days when Molly and Cynthia were young—before railroads were, and before their consequences, the excursion-trains, which take every one up to London now-a-days, there to see their fill of gay crowds and fine dresses—to go to an annual charity-ball, even though all thought of dancing had passed by years ago, and without any of the responsibilities of a chaperone, was a very allowable and favourite piece of dissipation to all the kindly old maids who thronged the country towns of England. They aired their old lace and their best dresses; they saw the aristocratic magnates of the country side; they gossipped with their coevals, and speculated on the romances of the young around them in a curious yet friendly spirit. The Miss Brownings would have thought themselves sadly defrauded of the gayest event of the year, if anything had prevented their attending the charity ball, and Miss Browning would have been indignant, Miss Phœbe aggrieved, had they not been asked to Ashcombe and Coreham, by friends at each place, who had, like them, gone through the dancing-stage of life some five-and-twenty years before, but who liked still to haunt the scenes of their former enjoyment, and see a younger generation dance on "regardless of their doom." They had come in one of the two sedan-chairs that yet lingered in use at Hollingford; such a night as this brought a regular harvest of gains to the two old men who, in what was called the "town's livery," trotted backwards and forwards with their many loads of ladies and finery. There were some postchaises, and some "flys," but after mature deliberation Miss Browning had decided to keep to the more comfortable custom of the sedan-chair; "which," as she said to Miss Piper, one of her visitors, "came into the parlour, and got full of the warm air, and nipped you up, and carried you tight and cosy into another warm room, where you could walk out without having to show your legs by going up steps, or down steps." Of course only one could go at a time; but here again a little of Miss Browning's good management arranged everything so very nicely, as Miss Hornblower (their other visitor) remarked. She went first, and remained in the warm cloak-room until her hostess followed; and then the two ladies went arm-in-arm into the ball-room, finding out convenient seats whence they could watch the arrivals and speak to their passing friends, until Miss Phœbe and Miss Piper entered, and came to take possession of the seats reserved for them by Miss Browning's care. These two younger ladies came in, also arm-in-arm, but with a certain timid flurry in look and movement very different from the composed dignity of their seniors (by two or three years). When all four were once more assembled together, they took breath, and began to converse.
Right now, there are just a few people at a public ball aside from the dancers and their chaperones, or relatives somewhat involved in their lives. But back when Molly and Cynthia were young—before the railroads and the excursion trains that now bring everyone to London to enjoy the bustling crowds and fancy outfits—going to an annual charity ball, even when the idea of dancing had faded years ago, and without the duties of a chaperone, was a totally acceptable and beloved way for all the kind old maids in the English countryside towns to have a bit of fun. They flaunted their old lace and best dresses, saw the local aristocrats, chatted with their peers, and speculated on the romances of the young around them in a curious yet friendly way. The Miss Brownings would have felt seriously cheated out of the biggest event of the year if anything had stopped them from attending the charity ball, and Miss Browning would have been outraged, while Miss Phœbe would have felt slighted, if they hadn’t been invited to Ashcombe and Coreham by friends at each place, who, like them, had enjoyed their dancing days about twenty-five years before, but still loved to revisit the scenes of their past joy and watch the younger generation dancing on "unmindful of their fate." They arrived in one of the two sedan chairs that still saw use in Hollingford; nights like this provided a steady stream of business for the two old men, dressed in what was known as the "town's livery," who shuttled back and forth with their many loads of ladies and their fancy outfits. There were a few post chaises and "flys," but after careful consideration, Miss Browning chose the more comfortable option of the sedan chair; "which," as she told Miss Piper, one of her guests, "came into the parlor, filled with warm air, scooped you up, and carried you snugly into another warm room, where you could step out without having to show your legs by navigating stairs." Naturally, only one could go at a time; but Miss Browning's good planning sorted everything out nicely, as remarked by Miss Hornblower (their other guest). She went first and waited in the warm cloakroom until her hostess followed; then the two ladies walked arm-in-arm into the ballroom, finding convenient seats to watch the guests and chat with passing friends, until Miss Phœbe and Miss Piper arrived and took over the seats that Miss Browning had reserved for them. These two younger ladies entered arm-in-arm as well, but with a certain timid excitement in their look and movements that starkly contrasted with the composed dignity of their elders (by two or three years). Once all four were together again, they took a breath and started to chat.
"Upon my word, I really do think this is a better room than our Ashcombe Court-house!"
"Honestly, I really believe this is a better room than our Ashcombe Court-house!"
"And how prettily it is decorated!" piped out Miss Piper. "How well the roses are made! But you all have such taste at Hollingford."
"And how beautifully it's decorated!" Miss Piper exclaimed. "The roses are crafted so well! You all have such great taste at Hollingford."
"There's Mrs. Dempster," cried Miss Hornblower; "she said she and her two daughters were asked to stay at Mr. Sheepshanks'. Mr. Preston was to be there, too; but I suppose they could not all come at once. Look! and there is young Roscoe, our new doctor. I declare it seems as if all Ashcombe were here. Mr. Roscoe! Mr. Roscoe! come here and let me introduce you to Miss Browning, the friend we are staying with. We think very highly of our young doctor, I can assure you, Miss Browning."
"There's Mrs. Dempster," shouted Miss Hornblower. "She said she and her two daughters were invited to stay at Mr. Sheepshanks'. Mr. Preston was supposed to be there too, but I guess they couldn't all make it at the same time. Look! And there's young Roscoe, our new doctor. I swear it feels like everyone from Ashcombe is here. Mr. Roscoe! Mr. Roscoe! Come over here so I can introduce you to Miss Browning, the friend we're staying with. We hold our young doctor in high regard, I can assure you, Miss Browning."
Mr. Roscoe bowed, and simpered at hearing his own praises. But Miss Browning had no notion of having any doctor praised, who had come to settle on the very verge of Mr. Gibson's practice, so she said to Miss Hornblower,—
Mr. Roscoe bowed and smiled at the sound of his own compliments. But Miss Browning was not interested in praising any doctor who had chosen to set up right on the edge of Mr. Gibson's practice, so she said to Miss Hornblower—
"You must be glad, I am sure, to have somebody you can call in, if you are in any sudden hurry, or for things that are too trifling to trouble Mr. Gibson about; and I should think Mr. Roscoe would feel it a great advantage to profit, as he will naturally have the opportunity of doing, by witnessing Mr. Gibson's skill!"
"You must be glad, I’m sure, to have someone you can call on if you’re in a rush or for things that are too minor to bother Mr. Gibson with; and I think Mr. Roscoe would see it as a great advantage to benefit, as he will naturally get the chance to do, from seeing Mr. Gibson’s skill!"
Probably Mr. Roscoe would have felt more aggrieved by this speech than he really was, if his attention had not been called off just then by the entrance of the very Mr. Gibson who was being spoken of. Almost before Miss Browning had ended her severe and depreciatory remarks, he had asked his friend Miss Hornblower,—
Probably Mr. Roscoe would have felt more upset by this speech than he actually was if his attention hadn't been diverted just then by the arrival of the very Mr. Gibson who was being talked about. Almost before Miss Browning had finished her harsh and negative comments, he had asked his friend Miss Hornblower—
"Who is that lovely girl in pink, just come in?"
"Who is that beautiful girl in pink who just walked in?"
"Why, that's Cynthia Kirkpatrick!" said Miss Hornblower, taking up a ponderous gold eyeglass to make sure of her fact. "How she has grown! To be sure, it is two or three years since she left Ashcombe—she was very pretty then—people did say Mr. Preston admired her very much; but she was so young!"
"Wow, that's Cynthia Kirkpatrick!" said Miss Hornblower, picking up a heavy gold eyeglass to confirm her observation. "Look how much she's grown! It's been two or three years since she left Ashcombe—she was really pretty back then—people talked about how much Mr. Preston admired her; but she was so young!"
"Can you introduce me?" asked the impatient young surgeon. "I should like to ask her to dance."
"Can you introduce me?" asked the eager young surgeon. "I'd like to ask her to dance."
When Miss Hornblower returned from her greeting to her former acquaintance, Mrs. Gibson, and had accomplished the introduction which Mr. Roscoe had requested, she began her little confidences to Miss Browning.
When Miss Hornblower came back from saying hello to her old friend, Mrs. Gibson, and had made the introduction that Mr. Roscoe had asked for, she started sharing her little secrets with Miss Browning.
"Well, to be sure! How condescending we are! I remember the time when Mrs. Kirkpatrick wore old black silks, and was thankful and civil as became her place as a schoolmistress, and as having to earn her bread. And now she is in a satin; and she speaks to me as if she just could recollect who I was, if she tried very hard! It isn't so long ago since Mrs. Dempster came to consult me as to whether Mrs. Kirkpatrick would be offended, if she sent her a new breadth for her lilac silk-gown, in place of one that had been spoilt by Mrs. Dempster's servant spilling the coffee over it the night before; and she took it and was thankful, for all she's dressed in pearl-grey satin now! And she would have been glad enough to marry Mr. Preston in those days."
"Well, for sure! How condescending we are! I remember when Mrs. Kirkpatrick wore old black silks and was grateful and polite, which was appropriate for her role as a schoolmistress trying to earn a living. And now she's in satin; she acts like she might remember who I am if she really thought about it! It wasn’t that long ago when Mrs. Dempster came to ask me if Mrs. Kirkpatrick would be upset if she sent her a new piece of fabric for her lilac silk gown, since one had been ruined by Mrs. Dempster's servant spilling coffee on it the night before; and she accepted it graciously, even though she's wearing pearl-grey satin now! Back then, she would have been eager to marry Mr. Preston."
"I thought you said he admired her daughter," put in Miss Browning to her irritated friend.
"I thought you said he admired her daughter," said Miss Browning to her annoyed friend.
"Well! perhaps I did, and perhaps it was so; I'm sure I can't tell; he was a great deal at the house. Miss Dixon keeps a school in the same house now, and I'm sure she does it a great deal better."
"Well! Maybe I did, and maybe that's true; I really can't say; he spent a lot of time at the house. Miss Dixon runs a school in the same house now, and I'm sure she does it a lot better."
"The earl and the countess are very fond of Mrs. Gibson," said Miss Browning. "I know, for Lady Harriet told us when she came to drink tea with us last autumn; and they desired Mr. Preston to be very attentive to her when she lived at Ashcombe."
"The earl and countess really like Mrs. Gibson," said Miss Browning. "I know this because Lady Harriet mentioned it when she came over for tea with us last autumn; they asked Mr. Preston to be very attentive to her while she was at Ashcombe."
"For goodness' sake don't go and repeat what I've been saying about Mr. Preston and Mrs. Kirkpatrick to her ladyship. One may be mistaken, and you know I only said 'people talked about it.'"
"For goodness' sake, don’t go and repeat what I’ve said about Mr. Preston and Mrs. Kirkpatrick to her ladyship. One can be mistaken, and you know I only said ‘people talked about it.’"
Miss Hornblower was evidently alarmed lest her gossip should be repeated to the Lady Harriet, who appeared to be on such an intimate footing with her Hollingford friends. Nor did Miss Browning dissipate the illusion. Lady Harriet had drunk tea with them, and might do it again; and, at any rate, the little fright she had put her friend into was not a bad return for that praise of Mr. Roscoe, which had offended Miss Browning's loyalty to Mr. Gibson.
Miss Hornblower looked genuinely worried that her gossip might be shared with Lady Harriet, who seemed to be pretty close with her friends in Hollingford. Miss Browning didn’t help clear things up. Lady Harriet had had tea with them before and could very well do it again; and, in any case, the small scare she caused her friend wasn’t a bad payback for the compliments about Mr. Roscoe that had upset Miss Browning's loyalty to Mr. Gibson.
Meanwhile Miss Piper and Miss Phœbe, who had not the character of esprit-forts to maintain, talked of the dresses of the people present, beginning by complimenting each other.
Meanwhile, Miss Piper and Miss Phoebe, who didn’t have the pressure of keeping up any strong opinions, chatted about the outfits of the people there, starting by flattering each other.
"What a lovely turban you have got on, Miss Piper, if I may be allowed to say so: so becoming to your complexion!"
"What a lovely turban you’re wearing, Miss Piper, if I may say so: it really suits your complexion!"
"Do you think so?" said Miss Piper, with ill-concealed gratification; it was something to have a "complexion" at forty-five. "I got it at Brown's, at Somerton, for this very ball. I thought I must have something to set off my gown, which isn't quite so new as it once was; and I have no handsome jewellery like you"—looking with admiring eyes at a large miniature set round with pearls, which served as a shield to Miss Phœbe's breast.
"Do you really think so?" Miss Piper said, clearly pleased; having a "complexion" at forty-five was something special. "I got it at Brown's in Somerton just for this ball. I figured I needed something to accent my dress, which isn’t as new as it used to be; and I don’t have beautiful jewelry like you," she added, admiring the large miniature surrounded by pearls that decorated Miss Phœbe's chest.
"It is handsome," that lady replied. "It is a likeness of my dear mother; Dorothy has got my father on. The miniatures were both taken at the same time; and just about then my uncle died and left us each a legacy of fifty pounds, which we agreed to spend on the setting of our miniatures. But because they are so valuable Dorothy always keeps them locked up with the best silver, and hides the box somewhere; she never will tell me where, because she says I've such weak nerves, and that if a burglar, with a loaded pistol at my head, were to ask me where we kept our plate and jewels, I should be sure to tell him; and she says, for her part, she would never think of revealing under any circumstances. (I'm sure I hope she won't be tried.) But that's the reason I don't wear it often; it's only the second time I've had it on; and I can't even get at it, and look at it, which I should like to do. I shouldn't have had it on to-night, but that Dorothy gave it out to me, saying it was but a proper compliment to pay to the Duchess of Menteith, who is to be here in all her diamonds."
"It’s beautiful," the lady replied. "It’s a portrait of my dear mother; Dorothy has my father’s. The miniatures were both done at the same time; and around that time, my uncle passed away and left us each a legacy of fifty pounds, which we decided to spend on the framing of our miniatures. But because they’re so valuable, Dorothy always keeps them locked up with the best silver, and hides the box somewhere; she never tells me where because she says I have such weak nerves, and that if a burglar, with a loaded gun at my head, were to ask me where we kept our silver and jewels, I’d surely tell him; and she says, for her part, she would never think of revealing it under any circumstances. (I really hope she won’t have to prove that.) But that’s why I don’t wear it often; this is only the second time I’ve had it on; and I can’t even get to see it, which I would really like to do. I wouldn’t have worn it tonight, but Dorothy insisted I should, saying it’s only proper to pay a compliment to the Duchess of Menteith, who is coming here with all her diamonds."
"Dear-ah-me! Is she really! Do you know I never saw a duchess before." And Miss Piper drew herself up and craned her neck, as if resolved to "behave herself properly," as she had been taught to do at boarding-school thirty years before, in the presence of "her grace." By-and-by she said to Miss Phœbe, with a sudden jerk out of position,—"Look, look! that's our Mr. Cholmley, the magistrate" (he was the great man of Coreham), "and that's Mrs. Cholmley in red satin, and Mr. George and Mr. Harry from Oxford, I do declare; and Miss Cholmley, and pretty Miss Sophy. I should like to go and speak to them, but then it's so formidable crossing a room without a gentleman. And there is Coxe the butcher and his wife! Why all Coreham seems to be here! And how Mrs. Coxe can afford such a gown I can't make out for one, for I know Coxe had some difficulty in paying for the last sheep he bought of my brother."
"Oh my gosh! Is she really! Did you know I've never seen a duchess before?" Miss Piper straightened up and stretched her neck, as if determined to "act properly," like she had learned at boarding school thirty years ago in front of "her grace." After a moment, she suddenly turned to Miss Phoebe and said, "Look, look! That's our Mr. Cholmley, the magistrate" (he was the important person in Coreham), "and that's Mrs. Cholmley in red satin, and Mr. George and Mr. Harry from Oxford, I swear; and Miss Cholmley, and the lovely Miss Sophy. I really want to go talk to them, but it's so intimidating to cross a room without a gentleman. And there’s Coxe the butcher and his wife! It feels like everyone in Coreham is here! And how Mrs. Coxe can afford such a dress is beyond me, since I know Coxe struggled to pay for the last sheep he bought from my brother."
Just at this moment the band, consisting of two violins, a harp, and an occasional clarionet, having finished their tuning, and brought themselves as nearly into accord as was possible, struck up a brisk country-dance, and partners quickly took their places. Mrs. Gibson was secretly a little annoyed at Cynthia's being one of those to stand up in this early dance, the performers in which were principally the punctual plebeians of Hollingford, who, when a ball was fixed to begin at eight, had no notion of being later, and so losing part of the amusement for which they had paid their money. She imparted some of her feelings to Molly, sitting by her, longing to dance, and beating time to the spirited music with one of her pretty little feet.
Just then, the band, made up of two violins, a harp, and an occasional clarinet, finished tuning and got in sync as much as possible. They started playing a lively country dance, and partners quickly found their places. Mrs. Gibson was secretly a bit annoyed that Cynthia was among those standing up for this early dance, which mainly involved the punctual regulars of Hollingford. These were the people who, when a ball was set to start at eight, had no intention of being late and missing out on the fun they had paid to enjoy. She shared some of her thoughts with Molly, who was sitting next to her, eager to dance and tapping her pretty little foot to the lively music.
"Your dear papa is always so very punctual! To-night it seems almost a pity, for we really are here before there is any one come that we know."
"Your dear dad is always so punctual! Tonight, it feels almost unfortunate because we're really here before anyone we know has arrived."
"Oh! I see so many people here that I know. There are Mr. and Mrs. Smeaton, and that nice good-tempered daughter."
"Oh! I see so many people here that I recognize. There are Mr. and Mrs. Smeaton, and their lovely, good-natured daughter."
"Oh! booksellers and butchers if you will."
"Oh! booksellers and butchers if you please."
"Papa has found a great many friends to talk to."
"Papa has made a lot of friends to talk to."
"Patients, my dear—hardly friends. There are some nice-looking people here," catching her eye on the Cholmleys; "but I daresay they have driven over from the neighbourhood of Ashcombe or Coreham, and have hardly calculated how soon they would get here. I wonder when the Towers' party will come. Ah! there's Mr. Ashton, and Mr. Preston. Come, the room is beginning to fill."
"Patients, my dear—barely friends. There are some attractive people here," she said, glancing at the Cholmleys; "but I bet they just drove over from the Ashcombe or Coreham area and didn’t really think about when they would arrive. I wonder when the Towers' party will show up. Ah! There’s Mr. Ashton and Mr. Preston. Come on, the room is starting to fill up."
So it was, for this was to be a very good ball, people said; and a large party from the Towers was coming, and a duchess in diamonds among the number. Every great house in the district was expected to be full of guests on these occasions; but at this early hour, the townspeople had the floor almost entirely to themselves; the county magnates came dropping in later; and chiefest among them all was the lord-lieutenant from the Towers. But to-night they were unusually late, and the aristocratic ozone being absent from the atmosphere, there was a flatness about the dancing of all those who considered themselves above the plebeian ranks of the tradespeople. They, however, enjoyed themselves thoroughly, and sprang and bounded till their eyes sparkled and their cheeks glowed with exercise and excitement. Some of the more prudent parents, mindful of the next day's duties, began to consider at what hour they ought to go home; but with all there was an expressed or unexpressed curiosity to see the duchess and her diamonds; for the Menteith diamonds were famous in higher circles than that now assembled; and their fame had trickled down to it through the medium of ladies'-maids and housekeepers. Mr. Gibson had had to leave the ball-room for a time, as he had anticipated, but he was to return to his wife as soon as his duties were accomplished; and, in his absence, Mrs. Gibson kept herself a little aloof from the Miss Brownings and those of her acquaintance who would willingly have entered into conversation with her, with the view of attaching herself to the skirts of the Towers' party, when they should make their appearance. If Cynthia would not be so very ready in engaging herself to every possible partner who asked her to dance, there were sure to be young men staying at the Towers who would be on the look-out for pretty girls: and who could tell to what a dance might lead? Molly, too, though not so good a dancer as Cynthia, and, from her timidity, less graceful and easy, was becoming engaged pretty deeply; and, it must be confessed, she was longing to dance every dance, no matter with whom. Even she might not be available for the more aristocratic partners Mrs. Gibson anticipated. She was feeling very much annoyed with the whole proceedings of the evening when she was aware of some one standing by her; and, turning a little to one side, she saw Mr. Preston keeping guard, as it were, over the seats which Molly and Cynthia had just quitted. He was looking so black that, if their eyes had not met, Mrs. Gibson would have preferred not speaking to him; as it was, she thought it unavoidable.
So it was, because people said this was going to be a really great ball; a big group from the Towers was coming, including a duchess wearing diamonds. Every prominent household in the area was expected to be full of guests on these occasions; but at this early hour, the townspeople had the floor almost entirely to themselves. The county elite arrived later, and the most important among them was the lord-lieutenant from the Towers. However, tonight they were unusually late, and without the aristocratic flair in the atmosphere, the dancing felt dull for those who considered themselves above the local tradespeople. They, on the other hand, were having a great time, jumping and bounding until their eyes sparkled and their cheeks glowed with energy and excitement. Some of the more sensible parents, aware of their responsibilities for the next day, started to think about what time they should head home; yet everyone was curious, whether openly or secretly, to see the duchess and her diamonds. The Menteith diamonds were famous in circles higher than the one present, and their reputation had trickled down through ladies’ maids and housekeepers. Mr. Gibson had to step out of the ballroom for a while, as he had expected, but he would return to his wife as soon as he finished his duties. In his absence, Mrs. Gibson kept herself a bit distant from the Miss Brownings and others who wanted to chat with her, aiming to attach herself to the Towers party when they arrived. If Cynthia wouldn’t be so quick to accept every dance invitation she received, there were bound to be young men at the Towers looking for pretty girls; and who knew where a dance could lead? Molly, too, though not as great a dancer as Cynthia and much more self-conscious, was getting quite involved; she must admit she wanted to dance every dance, no matter who with. She might not even be available for the more upscale partners Mrs. Gibson hoped for. She was feeling pretty frustrated with the whole evening when she noticed someone standing beside her; turning slightly, she saw Mr. Preston standing guard over the seats that Molly and Cynthia had just left. He looked so glum that, if their eyes hadn’t met, Mrs. Gibson would have preferred not to engage with him; as it was, she felt it was unavoidable.
"The rooms are not well-lighted to-night, are they, Mr. Preston?"
"The rooms aren’t well-lit tonight, are they, Mr. Preston?"
"No," said he; "but who could light such dingy old paint as this, loaded with evergreens, too, which always darken a room?"
"No," he said, "but who could brighten up this gloomy old paint, especially with all these evergreens that just make the room darker?"
"And the company, too! I always think that freshness and brilliancy of dress go as far as anything to brighten up a room. Look what a set of people are here: the greater part of the women are dressed in dark silks, really only fit for a morning. The place will be quite different, by-and-by, when the county families are in a little more force."
"And the company, too! I always believe that fresh and bright outfits do just as much to liven up a room. Look at the group of people here: most of the women are wearing dark silks, which are really more suitable for the morning. The atmosphere will feel completely different later on when the county families arrive in bigger numbers."
Mr. Preston made no reply. He had put his glass in his eye, apparently for the purpose of watching the dancers. If its exact direction could have been ascertained, it would have been found that he was looking intently and angrily at a flying figure in pink muslin: many a one was gazing at Cynthia with intentness besides himself, but no one in anger. Mrs. Gibson was not so fine an observer as to read all this; but here was a gentlemanly and handsome young man, to whom she could prattle, instead of either joining herself on to objectionable people, or sitting all forlorn until the Towers' party came. So she went on with her small remarks.
Mr. Preston didn't respond. He had raised his glass to his eye, seemingly to watch the dancers. If someone could have figured out where he was looking, they would have seen that he was staring intently and angrily at a figure in pink muslin. Many others were watching Cynthia just as closely, but no one else with anger. Mrs. Gibson wasn't observant enough to notice all of this; she saw a charming and handsome young man to whom she could chat, instead of either mingling with people she found disagreeable or sitting alone until the Towers' party arrived. So, she continued with her light conversation.
"You are not dancing, Mr. Preston!"
"You're not dancing, Mr. Preston!"
"No! The partner I had engaged has made some mistake. I am waiting to have an explanation with her."
"No! The partner I hired has made a mistake. I'm waiting to discuss it with her."
Mrs. Gibson was silent. An uncomfortable tide of recollections appeared to come over her; she, like Mr. Preston, watched Cynthia; the dance was ended, and she was walking round the room in easy unconcern as to what might await her. Presently her partner, Mr. Harry Cholmley, brought her back to her seat. She took that vacant next to Mr. Preston, leaving the one by her mother for Molly's occupation. The latter returned a moment afterwards to her place. Cynthia seemed entirely unconscious of Mr. Preston's neighbourhood. Mrs. Gibson leaned forwards, and said to her daughter,—
Mrs. Gibson was quiet. An uncomfortable wave of memories seemed to wash over her; she, like Mr. Preston, was watching Cynthia. The dance had ended, and Cynthia was strolling around the room, completely relaxed about whatever might be waiting for her. Soon, her partner, Mr. Harry Cholmley, brought her back to her seat. She chose the empty spot next to Mr. Preston, leaving the one beside her mother for Molly to sit in. Molly returned to her spot a moment later. Cynthia appeared completely unaware of Mr. Preston's presence. Mrs. Gibson leaned forward and said to her daughter,—
"Your last partner was a gentleman, my dear. You are improving in your selection. I really was ashamed of you before, figuring away with that attorney's clerk. Molly, do you know whom you have been dancing with? I have found out he is the Coreham bookseller."
"Your last partner was a real gentleman, my dear. You're getting better at picking them. I was honestly embarrassed for you before, being involved with that lawyer's clerk. Molly, do you know who you’ve been dancing with? I found out he’s the Coreham bookseller."
"That accounts for his being so well up in all the books I've been wanting to hear about," said Molly, eagerly, but with a spice of malice in her mind. "He really was very pleasant, mamma," she added; "and he looks quite a gentleman, and dances beautifully!"
"That explains why he knows so much about the books I've been wanting to hear about," Molly said eagerly, though with a hint of malice in her thoughts. "He really was very pleasant, Mom," she added; "and he looks like a true gentleman, plus he dances amazingly!"
"Very well. But remember if you go on this way you will have to shake hands over the counter to-morrow morning with some of your partners of to-night," said Mrs. Gibson, coldly.
"Alright. But just remember, if you keep this up, you'll have to shake hands tomorrow morning with some of your business partners from tonight," Mrs. Gibson said coolly.
"But I really don't know how to refuse when people are introduced to me and ask me, and I am longing to dance. You know to-night it is a charity ball, and papa said everybody danced with everybody," said Molly, in a pleading tone of voice; for she could not quite thoroughly enjoy herself if she was out of harmony with any one. What reply Mrs. Gibson would have made to this speech cannot now be ascertained; for, before she could answer, Mr. Preston stepped a little forwards, and said, in a tone which he meant to be icily indifferent, but which trembled with anger,—
"But I really don’t know how to say no when people are introduced to me and ask me to dance, especially since I’m really looking forward to it. You know, tonight is a charity ball, and Dad said everyone dances with everyone," Molly said, her tone pleading because she couldn’t fully enjoy herself if there was any tension with someone. What Mrs. Gibson would have replied to this can't be known now; before she could answer, Mr. Preston stepped forward a bit and said, in a tone he meant to sound coldly indifferent, but which shook with anger,—
"If Miss Gibson finds any difficulty in refusing a partner, she has only to apply to Miss Kirkpatrick for instructions."
"If Miss Gibson has any trouble turning down a partner, she just needs to ask Miss Kirkpatrick for guidance."
Cynthia lifted up her beautiful eyes, and, fixing them on Mr. Preston's face, said, very quietly, as if only stating a matter of fact,—
Cynthia raised her lovely eyes and, locking them onto Mr. Preston's face, said softly, almost as if she were just stating a fact,—
"You forget, I think, Mr. Preston: Miss Gibson implied that she wished to dance with the person who asked her—that makes all the difference. I can't instruct her how to act in that difficulty."
"You seem to forget, Mr. Preston: Miss Gibson suggested she wanted to dance with whoever asked her—that changes everything. I can't tell her how to handle that situation."
And to the rest of this little conversation, Cynthia appeared to lend no ear; and she was almost directly claimed by her next partner. Mr. Preston took the seat now left empty much to Molly's annoyance. At first she feared lest he might be going to ask her to dance; but, instead, he put out his hand for Cynthia's nosegay, which she had left on rising, entrusted to Molly. It had suffered considerably from the heat of the room, and was no longer full and fresh; not so much so as Molly's, which had not, in the first instance, been pulled to pieces in picking out the scarlet flowers which now adorned Molly's hair, and which had since been cherished with more care. Enough, however, remained of Cynthia's to show very distinctly that it was not the one Mr. Preston had sent; and it was perhaps to convince himself of this, that he rudely asked to examine it. But Molly, faithful to what she imagined would be Cynthia's wish, refused to allow him to touch it; she only held it a little nearer.
And in the rest of this little conversation, Cynthia seemed to ignore everything; she was almost immediately taken by her next partner. Mr. Preston took the empty seat, much to Molly's irritation. At first, she worried he might ask her to dance; but instead, he reached for Cynthia's nosegay, which she had left behind when standing up and had entrusted to Molly. It had suffered quite a bit from the heat of the room and was no longer full and fresh—not as much as Molly's, which hadn’t been torn apart picking out the scarlet flowers now in Molly's hair and had been cared for more. Still, enough was left of Cynthia's to clearly show it wasn't the one Mr. Preston had sent; and perhaps to convince himself of this, he rudely asked to examine it. But Molly, loyal to what she thought would be Cynthia's wish, refused to let him touch it; she only held it a little closer.
"Miss Kirkpatrick has not done me the honour of wearing the bouquet I sent her, I see. She received it, I suppose, and my note?"
"Miss Kirkpatrick hasn't had the courtesy to wear the bouquet I sent her, I see. She got it, I assume, along with my note?"
"Yes," said Molly, rather intimidated by the tone in which this was said. "But we had already accepted these two nosegays."
"Yeah," said Molly, feeling a bit uneasy about the way it was said. "But we had already accepted these two bouquets."
Mrs. Gibson was just the person to come to the rescue with her honeyed words on such an occasion as the present. She evidently was rather afraid of Mr. Preston, and wished to keep at peace with him.
Mrs. Gibson was exactly the right person to step in with her sweet words in a situation like this one. She clearly felt a bit intimidated by Mr. Preston and wanted to stay on good terms with him.
"Oh, yes, we were so sorry! Of course, I don't mean to say we could be sorry for any one's kindness; but two such lovely nosegays had been sent from Hamley Hall—you may see how beautiful from what Molly holds in her hand—and they had come before yours, Mr. Preston."
"Oh, yes, we were really sorry! I don't mean to say we could be sorry for anyone's kindness; but two such beautiful bouquets had been sent from Hamley Hall—you can see how lovely they are from what Molly is holding in her hand—and they arrived before yours, Mr. Preston."
"I should have felt honoured if you had accepted of mine, since the young ladies were so well provided for. I was at some pains in selecting the flowers at Green's; I think I may say it was rather more recherché than that of Miss Kirkpatrick's, which Miss Gibson holds so tenderly and securely in her hand."
"I would have felt honored if you had accepted mine, since the young ladies were so well taken care of. I put some effort into choosing the flowers at Green's; I think I can say they were a bit more exquisite than Miss Kirkpatrick's, which Miss Gibson holds so affectionately and securely in her hand."
"Oh, because Cynthia would take out the most effective flowers to put in my hair!" exclaimed Molly, eagerly.
"Oh, because Cynthia would pick the prettiest flowers to put in my hair!" exclaimed Molly, eagerly.
"Did she?" said Mr. Preston, with a certain accent of pleasure in his voice, as though he were glad she set so little store by the nosegay; and he walked off to stand behind Cynthia in the quadrille that was being danced; and Molly saw him making her reply to him—against her will, Molly was sure. But, somehow, his face and manner implied power over her. She looked grave, deaf, indifferent, indignant, defiant; but, after a half-whispered speech to Cynthia, at the conclusion of the dance, she evidently threw him an impatient consent to what he was asking, for he walked off with a disagreeable smile of satisfaction on his handsome face.
"Did she?" Mr. Preston said, a hint of pleasure in his voice, as if he was happy she didn’t care much for the nosegay. He walked over to stand behind Cynthia in the quadrille that was being danced, and Molly noticed him making her respond—against her will, Molly was sure. But somehow, his face and demeanor suggested he had power over her. She looked serious, unresponsive, indifferent, angry, defiant; but after a softly spoken conversation with Cynthia at the end of the dance, she clearly gave him an impatient agreement to whatever he was asking, because he walked away with a smug smile of satisfaction on his handsome face.
All this time the murmurs were spreading at the lateness of the party from the Towers, and person after person came up to Mrs. Gibson as if she were the accredited authority as to the earl and countess's plans. In one sense this was flattering; but then the acknowledgment of common ignorance and wonder reduced her to the level of the inquirers. Mrs. Goodenough felt herself particularly aggrieved; she had had her spectacles on for the last hour and a half, in order to be ready for the sight the very first minute any one from the Towers appeared at the door.
All this time, whispers were spreading about the party being late from the Towers, and person after person approached Mrs. Gibson as if she were the official source about the earl and countess's plans. In a way, this was flattering; but the shared confusion and curiosity brought her down to the same level as those asking questions. Mrs. Goodenough felt especially frustrated; she had been wearing her glasses for the last hour and a half, ready to catch a glimpse as soon as anyone from the Towers arrived at the door.
"I had a headache," she complained, "and I should have sent my money, and never stirred out o' doors to-night; for I've seen a many of these here balls, and my lord and my lady too, when they were better worth looking at nor they are now; but every one was talking of the duchess, and the duchess and her diamonds, and I thought I shouldn't like to be behindhand, and never ha' seen neither the duchess nor her diamonds; so I'm here, and coal and candle-light wasting away at home, for I told Sally to sit up for me; and, above everything, I cannot abide waste. I took it from my mother, who was such a one against waste as you never see now-a-days. She was a manager, if ever there was a one; and brought up nine children on less than any one else could do, I'll be bound. Why! she wouldn't let us be extravagant—not even in the matter of colds. Whenever any on us had got a pretty bad cold, she took the opportunity and cut our hair; for she said, said she, it was of no use having two colds when one would do—and cutting of our hair was sure to give us a cold. But, for all that, I wish the duchess would come."
"I had a headache," she complained, "and I should have sent my money and never gone out tonight; I've seen so many of these balls, and my lord and lady too, when they were much better to look at than they are now. But everyone was talking about the duchess and her diamonds, and I thought I wouldn't want to miss seeing either the duchess or her diamonds. So here I am, with coal and candlelight wasting away at home, since I told Sally to stay up for me. And above all, I can't stand waste. I got that from my mother, who was so against waste, you never see anyone like her nowadays. She was a real manager and raised nine children on less than anyone else could. I swear! She wouldn't let us be extravagant—not even when we had colds. Whenever one of us had a pretty bad cold, she'd take the chance to cut our hair because she said it was pointless to have two colds when one would do—and cutting our hair was sure to give us a cold. But still, I wish the duchess would show up."
"Ah! but fancy what it is to me," sighed out Mrs. Gibson; "so long as I have been without seeing the dear family—and seeing so little of them the other day when I was at the Towers (for the duchess would have my opinion on Lady Alice's trousseau, and kept asking me so many questions it took up all the time)—and Lady Harriet's last words were a happy anticipation of our meeting to-night. It's nearly twelve o'clock."
"Ah! Just imagine how I feel," sighed Mrs. Gibson. "I haven't seen the dear family in so long—and I saw so little of them the other day when I was at the Towers (the duchess wanted my opinion on Lady Alice's trousseau and kept asking me so many questions that it took up all my time)—and Lady Harriet's last words were a happy look forward to our meeting tonight. It's almost midnight."
Every one of any pretensions to gentility was painfully affected by the absence of the family from the Towers; the very fiddlers seemed unwilling to begin playing a dance that might be interrupted by the entrance of the great folks. Miss Phœbe Browning had apologized for them—Miss Browning had blamed them with calm dignity; it was only the butchers and bakers and candlestick-makers who rather enjoyed the absence of restraint, and were happy and hilarious.
Everyone who considered themselves classy felt awkward about the family not being at the Towers. Even the musicians seemed hesitant to start a dance that might be cut short by the arrival of the elite. Miss Phœbe Browning had made excuses for them—Miss Browning had held them accountable with poise; it was only the butchers, bakers, and candlestick makers who actually enjoyed the lack of formality and were cheerful and lively.
At last, there was a rumbling, and a rushing, and a whispering, and the music stopped; so the dancers were obliged to do so too; and in came Lord Cumnor in his state dress, with a fat, middle-aged woman on his arm; she was dressed almost like a girl—in a sprigged muslin, with natural flowers in her hair, but not a vestige of a jewel or a diamond. Yet it must be the duchess; but what was a duchess without diamonds?—and in a dress which farmer Hudson's daughter might have worn! Was it the duchess? Could it be the duchess? The little crowd of inquirers around Mrs. Gibson thickened, to hear her confirm their disappointing surmise. After the duchess came Lady Cumnor, looking like Lady Macbeth in black velvet—a cloud upon her brow, made more conspicuous by the lines of age rapidly gathering on her handsome face; and Lady Harriet, and other ladies, amongst whom there was one dressed so like the duchess as to suggest the idea of a sister rather than a daughter, as far as dress went. There was Lord Hollingford, plain in face, awkward in person, gentlemanly in manner; and half-a-dozen younger men, Lord Albert Monson, Captain James, and others of their age and standing, who came in looking anything if not critical. This long-expected party swept up to the seats reserved for them at the head of the room, apparently regardless of the interruption they caused; for the dancers stood aside, and almost dispersed back to their seats, and when "Money-musk" struck up again, not half the former set of people stood up to finish the dance.
Finally, there was a rumble, a rush, and a whisper, and the music stopped; the dancers had no choice but to stop too. In walked Lord Cumnor in his formal attire, with a plump, middle-aged woman on his arm. She was dressed almost like a girl—in a sprigged muslin, with natural flowers in her hair, but not a single jewel or diamond in sight. It had to be the duchess, but what kind of duchess didn’t wear diamonds? And in a dress that farmer Hudson's daughter might have worn! Was it really the duchess? Could it be her? The small crowd of people around Mrs. Gibson grew denser, eager to hear her confirm their disappointing assumption. After the duchess came Lady Cumnor, looking like Lady Macbeth in black velvet—a shadow on her brow, made more visible by the lines of age quickly forming on her attractive face; and Lady Harriet, along with other ladies, including one dressed so similarly to the duchess that it suggested she was a sister rather than a daughter based on her outfit. There was Lord Hollingford, plain in face, awkward in build, but gentlemanly in manner; and half a dozen younger men, including Lord Albert Monson, Captain James, and others of their age and status, who entered looking anything but critical. This long-anticipated group made their way to the seats reserved for them at the front of the room, seemingly unaware of the disruption they caused, as the dancers stepped aside and nearly scattered back to their seats. When "Money-musk" started up again, not even half of the previous group of dancers stood up to finish the dance.
Lady Harriet, who was rather different to Miss Piper, and no more minded crossing the room alone than if the lookers-on were so many cabbages, spied the Gibson party pretty quickly out, and came across to them.
Lady Harriet, who was quite different from Miss Piper, didn’t care at all about crossing the room by herself, treating the onlookers like they were just cabbages. She spotted the Gibson group pretty quickly and made her way over to them.
"Here we are at last. How d'ye do, dear? Why, little one" (to Molly), "how nice you're looking! Aren't we shamefully late?"
"Here we are at last. How are you, dear? Wow, little one" (to Molly), "you look great! Aren't we embarrassingly late?"
"Oh! it's only just past twelve," said Mrs. Gibson; "and I daresay you dined very late."
"Oh! it's just past twelve," said Mrs. Gibson; "and I'm sure you had dinner quite late."
"It wasn't that; it was that ill-mannered woman, who went to her own room after we came out from dinner, and she and Lady Alice stayed there invisible, till we thought they were putting on some splendid attire—as they ought to have done—and at half-past ten, when mamma sent up to them to say the carriages were at the door, the duchess sent down for some beef-tea, and at last appeared à l'enfant as you see her. Mamma is so angry with her, and some of the others are annoyed at not coming earlier, and one or two are giving themselves airs about coming at all. Papa is the only one who is not affected by it." Then turning to Molly Lady Harriet asked,—
"It wasn't that; it was that rude woman who went to her room right after we finished dinner. She and Lady Alice stayed there out of sight until we thought they were getting dressed up, like they should have been. Then, at 10:30, when Mom sent a message saying the carriages were ready, the duchess ordered some beef tea and finally showed up looking like a child, just as you see her. Mom is really mad at her, and some others are upset about not arriving earlier, while a few are acting like they're too good to come at all. Dad is the only one who doesn't seem bothered by it." Then turning to Molly, Lady Harriet asked,—
"Have you been dancing much, Miss Gibson?"
"Have you been dancing a lot, Miss Gibson?"
"Yes; not every dance, but nearly all."
"Yeah; not every dance, but almost all."
It was a simple question enough; but Lady Harriet's speaking at all to Molly had become to Mrs. Gibson almost like shaking a red rag at a bull; it was the one thing sure to put her out of temper. But she would not have shown this to Lady Harriet for the world; only she contrived to baffle any endeavours at further conversation between the two, by placing herself betwixt Lady Harriet and Molly, whom the former asked to sit down in the absent Cynthia's room.
It was a straightforward question; however, Lady Harriet talking to Molly had become for Mrs. Gibson almost like waving a red flag at a bull; it was the one thing that would definitely annoy her. But she wouldn’t reveal this to Lady Harriet for anything; instead, she managed to disrupt any attempts at further conversation between them by positioning herself between Lady Harriet and Molly, whom Lady Harriet asked to sit down in the vacant Cynthia’s room.
"I won't go back to those people, I am so mad with them; and, besides, I hardly saw you the other day, and I must have some gossip with you." So she sat down by Mrs. Gibson, and as Mrs. Goodenough afterwards expressed it, "looked like anybody else." Mrs. Goodenough said this to excuse herself for a little misadventure she fell into. She had taken a deliberate survey of the grandees at the upper end of the room, spectacles on nose, and had inquired, in no very measured voice, who everybody was, from Mr. Sheepshanks, my lord's agent, and her very good neighbour, who in vain tried to check her loud ardour for information by replying to her in whispers. But she was rather deaf as well as blind, so his low tones only brought upon him fresh inquiries. Now, satisfied as far as she could be, and on her way to departure, and the extinguishing of fire and candle-light, she stopped opposite to Mrs. Gibson, and thus addressed her by way of renewal of their former subject of conversation:—
"I’m not going back to those people; I’m really angry with them. Plus, I hardly got to see you the other day, and I need to catch up with you." So she sat down next to Mrs. Gibson, and as Mrs. Goodenough later put it, "looked like anyone else." Mrs. Goodenough said this to explain a little mishap she had. She had taken a careful look at the important people at the far end of the room, glasses perched on her nose, and had asked in a rather loud voice who everyone was, including Mr. Sheepshanks, the lord's agent, and her very good neighbor, who unsuccessfully tried to calm her eager curiosity by responding in whispers. But she was a bit hard of hearing as well as a bit oblivious, so his quiet responses only led to more questions from her. Now, satisfied as much as she could be, and on her way to leave and turn off the fire and lights, she stopped in front of Mrs. Gibson and renewed their previous topic of conversation:—
"Such a shabby thing for a duchess I never saw; not a bit of a diamond near her! They're none of 'em worth looking at except the countess, and she's always a personable woman, and not so lusty as she was. But they're not worth waiting up for till this time o' night."
"Such a shabby sight for a duchess, I’ve never seen; not even a single diamond on her! None of them are worth noticing except the countess, and she’s always been an attractive woman, though not as lively as she used to be. But they’re not worth staying up for this late at night."
There was a moment's pause. Then Lady Harriet put her hand out, and said,—
There was a brief pause. Then Lady Harriet reached out her hand and
"You don't remember me, but I know you from having seen you at the Towers. Lady Cumnor is a good deal thinner than she was, but we hope her health is better for it."
"You might not remember me, but I've seen you at the Towers. Lady Cumnor is quite a bit thinner than she used to be, but we hope her health has improved because of it."
"It's Lady Harriet," said Mrs. Gibson to Mrs. Goodenough, in reproachful dismay.
"It's Lady Harriet," Mrs. Gibson said to Mrs. Goodenough, with a look of reproachful dismay.
"Deary me, your ladyship! I hope I've given no offence! But, you see—that is to say, your ladyship sees, that it's late hours for such folks as me, and I only stayed out of my bed to see the duchess, and I thought she'd come in diamonds and a coronet; and it puts one out at my age, to be disappointed in the only chance I'm like to have of so fine a sight."
"Goodness, Your Ladyship! I hope I haven’t offended you! But, you see, it's quite late for someone like me, and I only got out of bed to see the duchess. I thought she’d come in her diamonds and crown, and at my age, it’s really disappointing to miss out on the only chance I might have to see something so grand."
"I'm put out too," said Lady Harriet. "I wanted to have come early, and here we are as late as this. I'm so cross and ill-tempered, I should be glad to hide myself in bed as soon as you will do."
"I'm upset too," said Lady Harriet. "I wanted to arrive early, and here we are so late. I'm feeling really annoyed and irritable; I'd be happy to just hide in bed as soon as you will."
She said this so sweetly that Mrs. Goodenough relaxed into a smile, and her crabbedness into a compliment.
She said this so sweetly that Mrs. Goodenough softened into a smile, and her grumpiness turned into a compliment.
"I don't believe as ever your ladyship can be cross and ill-tempered with that pretty face. I'm an old woman, so you must let me say so." Lady Harriet stood up, and made a low curtsey. Then holding out her hand, she said,—
"I can't believe your ladyship could ever be upset or in a bad mood with that lovely face. As an older woman, I hope you allow me to say that." Lady Harriet stood up and did a deep curtsy. Then, extending her hand, she said—
"I won't keep you up any longer; but I'll promise one thing in return for your pretty speech: if ever I am a duchess, I'll come and show myself to you in all my robes and gewgaws. Good night, madam!"
"I won't hold you up any longer; but I promise one thing in return for your nice words: if I ever become a duchess, I'll come and show myself to you in all my fancy clothes and jewelry. Good night, madam!"
"There! I knew how it would be!" said she, not resuming her seat. "And on the eve of a county election too."
"There! I knew it would go like this!" she said, not sitting back down. "And right before a county election too."
"Oh! you must not take old Mrs. Goodenough as a specimen, dear Lady Harriet. She is always a grumbler! I am sure no one else would complain of your all being as late as you liked," said Mrs. Gibson.
"Oh! you shouldn't judge by old Mrs. Goodenough, dear Lady Harriet. She's always complaining! I'm sure no one else would mind if you all stayed out as late as you wanted," said Mrs. Gibson.
"What do you say, Molly?" said Lady Harriet, suddenly turning her eyes on Molly's face. "Don't you think we've lost some of our popularity,—which at this time means votes—by coming so late. Come, answer me! you used to be a famous little truth-teller."
"What do you think, Molly?" said Lady Harriet, suddenly turning her gaze to Molly's face. "Don’t you think we've lost some of our popularity—which right now means votes—by showing up so late? Come on, answer me! You used to be such a great little truth-teller."
"I don't know about popularity or votes," said Molly, rather unwillingly. "But I think many people were sorry you did not come sooner; and isn't that rather a proof of popularity?" she added.
"I’m not sure about popularity or votes," said Molly, somewhat reluctantly. "But I think a lot of people were disappointed you didn’t come earlier; and isn’t that kind of evidence of popularity?" she added.
"That's a very neat and diplomatic answer," said Lady Harriet, smiling, and tapping Molly's cheek with her fan.
"That's a really clever and diplomatic answer," said Lady Harriet, smiling and tapping Molly's cheek with her fan.
"Molly knows nothing about it," said Mrs. Gibson, a little off her guard. "It would be very impertinent if she or any one else questioned Lady Cumnor's perfect right to come when she chose."
"Molly doesn't know anything about it," Mrs. Gibson said, slightly caught off guard. "It would be very rude for her or anyone else to question Lady Cumnor's right to come whenever she wants."
"Well, all I know is, I must go back to mamma now; but I shall make another raid into these regions by-and-by, and you must keep a place for me. Ah! there are—Miss Brownings; you see I don't forget my lesson, Miss Gibson."
"Well, all I know is I have to go back to Mom now, but I'll definitely come back to this area later, and you have to save a spot for me. Ah! There are—Miss Brownings; see, I haven't forgotten my lesson, Miss Gibson."
"Molly, I cannot have you speaking so to Lady Harriet," said Mrs. Gibson, as soon as she was left alone with her stepdaughter. "You would never have known her at all if it had not been for me, and don't be always putting yourself into our conversation."
"Molly, I can’t let you talk to Lady Harriet like that," Mrs. Gibson said as soon as she was alone with her stepdaughter. "You wouldn’t even know her if it weren't for me, so stop trying to insert yourself into our conversations."
"But I must speak if she asks me questions," pleaded Molly.
"But I have to talk if she asks me questions," Molly insisted.
"Well! if you must, you must, I acknowledge. I'm candid about that at any rate. But there's no need for you to set up to have an opinion at your age."
"Well! If you have to, you have to, I get it. I'm honest about that at least. But there's really no reason for you to act like you have an opinion at your age."
"I don't know how to help it," said Molly.
"I don't know how to deal with it," said Molly.
"She's such a whimsical person; look there, if she's not talking to Miss Phœbe; and Miss Phœbe is so weak she'll be easily led away into fancying she is hand and glove with Lady Harriet. If there is one thing I hate more than another, it is the trying to make out an intimacy with great people."
"She's such a quirky person; look over there, she's chatting with Miss Phœbe; and Miss Phœbe is so naive she'll quickly start to believe she's close friends with Lady Harriet. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's trying to create a connection with important people."
Molly felt innocent enough, so she offered no justification of herself, and made no reply. Indeed she was more occupied in watching Cynthia. She could not understand the change that seemed to have come over her. She was dancing, it was true, with the same lightness and grace as before, but the smooth bounding motion, as of a feather blown onwards by the wind, was gone. She was conversing with her partner, but without the soft animation that usually shone out upon her countenance. And when she was brought back to her seat Molly noticed her changed colour, and her dreamily abstracted eyes.
Molly felt pretty innocent, so she didn’t offer any explanation for herself and stayed quiet. In fact, she was more focused on watching Cynthia. She couldn’t understand the change that seemed to have come over her. It was true that she was dancing with the same lightness and grace as before, but the smooth, carefree motion, like a feather blown by the wind, was gone. She was chatting with her partner, but without the warm energy that usually lit up her face. When Cynthia returned to her seat, Molly noticed her altered complexion and her distant, dreamy eyes.
"What is the matter, Cynthia?" asked she, in a very low voice.
"What’s wrong, Cynthia?" she asked in a very soft voice.
"Nothing," said Cynthia, suddenly looking up, and in an accent of what, in her, was sharpness. "Why should there be?"
"Nothing," Cynthia said, suddenly looking up, her tone sharp. "Why should there be?"
"I don't know; but you look different to what you did—tired or something."
"I don't know, but you look different from how you did—tired or something."
"There's nothing the matter, or, if there is, don't talk about it. It's all your fancy."
"There's nothing wrong, or if there is, just don't bring it up. It's all in your head."
This was a rather contradictory speech, to be interpreted by intuition rather than by logic. Molly understood that Cynthia wished for quietness and silence. But what was her surprise, after the speeches that had passed before, and the implication of Cynthia's whole manner to Mr. Preston, to see him come up to her, and, without a word, offer his arm and lead her away to dance. It appeared to strike Mrs. Gibson as something remarkable; for, forgetting her late passage at arms with Molly, she asked, wonderingly, as if almost distrusting the evidence of her senses,—
This was a pretty contradictory speech, meant to be understood more through feeling than reason. Molly realized that Cynthia wanted peace and quiet. But she was surprised, especially after the speeches that had happened earlier and Cynthia's whole demeanor toward Mr. Preston, to see him approach her and, without saying a word, offer his arm and take her away to dance. It seemed to catch Mrs. Gibson's attention as something noteworthy; she momentarily forgot her earlier confrontation with Molly and asked, astonished, as if she were almost questioning her own perception—
"Is Cynthia going to dance with Mr. Preston?"
"Is Cynthia going to dance with Mr. Preston?"
Molly had scarcely time to answer before she herself was led off by her partner. She could hardly attend to him or to the figures of the quadrille for watching for Cynthia among the moving forms.
Molly barely had time to reply before her partner took her away. She could hardly focus on him or the steps of the dance because she was looking for Cynthia among the swirling bodies.
Once she caught a glimpse of her standing still—downcast—listening to Mr. Preston's eager speech. Again she was walking languidly among the dancers, almost as if she took no notice of those around her. When she and Molly joined each other again, the shade on Cynthia's face had deepened to gloom. But, at the same time, if a physiognomist had studied her expression, he would have read in it defiance and anger, and perhaps also a little perplexity. While this quadrille had been going on, Lady Harriet had been speaking to her brother.
Once she caught sight of her standing there, looking downcast and listening to Mr. Preston's enthusiastic speech. Then she was moving slowly among the dancers, as if she didn't even notice the people around her. When she and Molly found each other again, Cynthia's expression had turned darker and more morose. However, if a facial expert had analyzed her expression, they would have seen defiance and anger, along with a bit of confusion. While this quadrille was taking place, Lady Harriet had been talking to her brother.
"Hollingford!" she said, laying her hand on his arm, and drawing him a little apart from the well-born crowd amid which he stood, silent and abstracted, "you don't know how these good people here have been hurt and disappointed with our being so late, and with the duchess's ridiculous simplicity of dress."
"Hollingford!" she said, placing her hand on his arm and pulling him a bit away from the well-off crowd he was standing with, quiet and lost in thought. "You have no idea how these nice people have been hurt and let down by our being so late and the duchess's silly choice of outfit."
"Why should they mind it?" asked he, taking advantage of her being out of breath with eagerness.
"Why should they care?" he asked, using her breathless excitement to his advantage.
"Oh, don't be so wise and stupid; don't you see, we're a show and a spectacle—it's like having a pantomime with harlequin and columbine in plain clothes."
"Oh, don't be so clever and foolish; can't you see, we're a show and a spectacle—it's like having a pantomime with a harlequin and columbine in everyday clothes."
"I don't understand how—" he began.
"I don’t understand how—" he started.
"Then take it upon trust. They really are a little disappointed, whether they are logical or not in being so, and we must try and make it up to them; for one thing, because I can't bear our vassals to look dissatisfied and disloyal, and then there's the election in June."
"Then just believe me. They’re actually a bit let down, regardless of whether their feelings make sense, and we need to try to fix things for them; mainly because I can't stand seeing our followers look unhappy and disloyal, and also there’s the election in June."
"I really would as soon be out of the House as in it."
"I'd rather be outside the House than inside it."
"Nonsense; it would grieve papa beyond measure—but there's no time to talk about that now. You must go and dance with some of the townspeople, and I'll ask Sheepshanks to introduce me to a respectable young farmer. Can't you get Captain James to make himself useful? There he goes with Lady Alice! If I don't get him introduced to the ugliest tailor's daughter I can find for the next dance!" She put her arm in her brother's as she spoke, as if to lead him to some partner. He resisted, however—resisted piteously.
"Nonsense; it would upset Dad a lot—but we don’t have time to talk about that now. You need to go dance with some of the locals, and I’ll ask Sheepshanks to introduce me to a good young farmer. Can’t you get Captain James to help out? There he goes with Lady Alice! If I don’t get him introduced to the ugliest tailor's daughter I can find for the next dance!" She linked her arm with her brother’s as she spoke, trying to pull him towards a partner. He resisted, though—pitifully resisted.
"Pray don't, Harriet. You know I can't dance. I hate it; I always did. I don't know how to get through a quadrille."
"Please don’t, Harriet. You know I can’t dance. I hate it; I always have. I don’t know how to get through a quadrille."
"It's a country dance!" said she, resolutely.
"It's a country dance!" she said confidently.
"It's all the same. And what shall I say to my partner? I haven't a notion: I shall have no subject in common. Speak of being disappointed, they'll be ten times more disappointed when they find I can neither dance nor talk!"
"It's all the same. And what am I supposed to say to my partner? I have no clue: I won't have anything in common with them. If I talk about being disappointed, they'll be even more disappointed when they realize I can't dance or hold a conversation!"
"I'll be merciful; don't be so cowardly. In their eyes a lord may dance like a bear—as some lords not very far from me are—if he likes, and they'll take it for grace. And you shall begin with Molly Gibson, your friend the doctor's daughter. She's a good, simple, intelligent little girl, which you'll think a great deal more of, I suppose, than of the frivolous fact of her being very pretty. Clare! will you allow me to introduce my brother to Miss Gibson? he hopes to engage her for this dance. Lord Hollingford, Miss Gibson!"
"I'll be kind; don’t be so timid. In their eyes, a lord can act like a bear—just like some lords not far from me do—if he wants, and they'll see it as charming. And you should start with Molly Gibson, your friend the doctor’s daughter. She's a good, simple, smart girl, which I bet you'll appreciate much more than the trivial fact that she's also very pretty. Clare! Can I introduce my brother to Miss Gibson? He hopes to ask her to dance. Lord Hollingford, this is Miss Gibson!"
Poor Lord Hollingford! there was nothing for it but for him to follow his sister's very explicit lead, and Molly and he walked off to their places, each heartily wishing their dance together well over. Lady Harriet flew off to Mr. Sheepshanks to secure her respectable young farmer, and Mrs. Gibson remained alone, wishing that Lady Cumnor would send one of her attendant gentlemen for her. It would be so much more agreeable to be sitting even at the fag-end of nobility than here on a bench with everybody; hoping that everybody would see Molly dancing away with a lord, yet vexed that the chance had so befallen that Molly instead of Cynthia was the young lady singled out; wondering if simplicity of dress was now become the highest fashion, and pondering on the possibility of cleverly inducing Lady Harriet to introduce Lord Albert Monson to her own beautiful daughter, Cynthia.
Poor Lord Hollingford! He had no choice but to follow his sister's clear lead, and he and Molly walked off to their spots, each hoping their dance together would be over soon. Lady Harriet dashed off to Mr. Sheepshanks to secure her respectable young farmer, while Mrs. Gibson sat alone, wishing Lady Cumnor would send one of her gentleman attendants for her. It would be so much nicer to sit even at the edge of nobility than here on a bench with everyone, hoping everyone would see Molly dancing with a lord, yet annoyed that it was Molly, not Cynthia, who was chosen. She wondered if simplicity in dress had become the latest trend and considered how she might cleverly get Lady Harriet to introduce Lord Albert Monson to her beautiful daughter, Cynthia.
Molly found Lord Hollingford, the wise and learned Lord Hollingford, strangely stupid in understanding the mystery of "Cross hands and back again, down the middle and up again." He was constantly getting hold of the wrong hands, and as constantly stopping when he had returned to his place, quite unaware that the duties of society and the laws of the dance required that he should go on capering till he had arrived at the bottom of the room. He perceived that he had performed his part very badly, and apologized to Molly when once they had arrived at that haven of comparative peace; and he expressed his regret so simply and heartily that she felt at her ease with him at once, especially when he confided to her his reluctance at having to dance at all, and his only doing it under his sister's compulsion. To Molly he was an elderly widower, almost as old as her father, and by-and-by they got into very pleasant conversation. She learnt from him that Roger Hamley had just been publishing a paper in some scientific periodical, which had excited considerable attention, as it was intended to confute some theory of a great French physiologist, and Roger's article proved the writer to be possessed of a most unusual amount of knowledge on the subject. This piece of news was of great interest to Molly; and, in her questions, she herself evinced so much intelligence, and a mind so well prepared for the reception of information, that Lord Hollingford at any rate would have felt his quest of popularity a very easy affair indeed, if he might have gone on talking quietly to Molly during the rest of the evening. When he took her back to her place, he found Mr. Gibson there, and fell into talk with him, until Lady Harriet once more came to stir him up to his duties. Before very long, however, he returned to Mr. Gibson's side, and began telling him of this paper of Roger Hamley's, of which Mr. Gibson had not yet heard. In the midst of their conversation, as they stood close by Mrs. Gibson, Lord Hollingford saw Molly in the distance, and interrupted himself to say, "What a charming little lady that daughter of yours is! Most girls of her age are so difficult to talk to; but she is intelligent and full of interest in all sorts of sensible things; well read, too—she was up in Le Règne Animal—and very pretty!"
Molly found Lord Hollingford, the wise and knowledgeable Lord Hollingford, perplexingly clueless about the meaning of "Cross hands and back again, down the middle and up again." He kept grabbing the wrong hands and continuously stopped once he got back to his spot, completely unaware that societal expectations and the dance's rules required him to keep moving until he reached the end of the room. He realized he had done a poor job and apologized to Molly when they finally arrived at a place of relative peace. He expressed his regret so sincerely and simply that she immediately felt at ease with him, especially when he shared his reluctance to dance at all, mentioning that he was only participating because of his sister's insistence. To Molly, he was an older widower, nearly as old as her father, and as they talked, they had a very nice conversation. She learned from him that Roger Hamley had just published a paper in a scientific journal that had garnered a lot of attention, as it aimed to disprove a theory by a prominent French physiologist, and Roger's article showed he had an impressive amount of knowledge on the topic. This news was of great interest to Molly; and in her questions, she displayed so much intelligence and a mind so eager to learn that Lord Hollingford would have found his quest for popularity quite easy if he could just keep chatting with Molly for the rest of the evening. When he returned her to her spot, he found Mr. Gibson there and started talking to him until Lady Harriet came by to nudge him back to his responsibilities. However, it wasn't long before he returned to Mr. Gibson and began discussing Roger Hamley's paper, which Mr. Gibson hadn't heard about yet. As they talked, standing near Mrs. Gibson, Lord Hollingford spotted Molly in the distance and paused to say, "What a charming young lady your daughter is! Most girls her age can be so hard to talk to, but she's intelligent and engaged in all sorts of sensible topics; well-read, too—she knows Le Règne Animal—and very pretty!"
Mr. Gibson bowed, much pleased at such a compliment from such a man, were he lord or not. It is very likely that if Molly had been a stupid listener, Lord Hollingford would not have discovered her beauty; or the converse might be asserted—if she had not been young and pretty, he would not have exerted himself to talk on scientific subjects in a manner which she could understand. But in whatever way Molly had won his approbation and admiration, there was no doubt that she had earned it somehow. And, when she next returned to her place, Mrs. Gibson greeted her with soft words and a gracious smile; for it does not require much reasoning power to discover, that if it is a very fine thing to be mother-in-law to a very magnificent three-tailed bashaw, it presupposes that the wife who makes the connection between the two parties is in harmony with her mother. And so far had Mrs. Gibson's thoughts wandered into futurity. She only wished that the happy chance had fallen to Cynthia's instead of to Molly's lot. But Molly was a docile, sweet creature, very pretty, and remarkably intelligent, as my lord had said. It was a pity that Cynthia preferred making millinery to reading; but perhaps that could be rectified. And there was Lord Cumnor coming to speak to her, and Lady Cumnor nodding to her, and indicating a place by her side.
Mr. Gibson bowed, quite pleased by such a compliment from such a man, whether he was a lord or not. It's likely that if Molly had been a dull listener, Lord Hollingford wouldn't have noticed her beauty; or the opposite could be true—if she hadn't been young and pretty, he wouldn't have bothered talking about scientific topics in a way she could follow. But no matter how Molly managed to earn his approval and admiration, it was clear that she had done so in some way. When she returned to her spot, Mrs. Gibson welcomed her with gentle words and a warm smile; it doesn’t take much thinking to realize that if it's a big deal to be the mother-in-law of a very impressive three-tailed bashaw, it means that the wife linking the two must get along with her mother. Mrs. Gibson's thoughts had strayed into the future. She only wished that this fortunate opportunity had come to Cynthia instead of Molly. But Molly was a sweet, agreeable girl, very pretty, and smart, as his lordship had noted. It was unfortunate that Cynthia preferred making hats over reading; but maybe that could be fixed. And there was Lord Cumnor coming over to speak to her, with Lady Cumnor giving her a nod and indicating a spot beside her.
It was not an unsatisfactory ball upon the whole to Mrs. Gibson, although she paid the usual penalty for sitting up beyond her ordinary hour in perpetual glare and movement. The next morning she awoke irritable and fatigued; and a little of the same feeling oppressed both Cynthia and Molly. The former was lounging in the window-seat, holding a three-days'-old newspaper in her hand, which she was making a pretence of reading, when she was startled by her mother's saying,—
It wasn't a bad ball overall for Mrs. Gibson, even though she dealt with the usual consequences of staying up late in constant light and activity. The next morning, she woke up irritated and tired; and a bit of that same feeling weighed down both Cynthia and Molly. Cynthia was lounging in the window seat, holding a three-day-old newspaper that she was pretending to read, when she was startled by her mother's saying,—
"Cynthia! can't you take up a book and improve yourself? I am sure your conversation will never be worth listening to, unless you read something better than newspapers. Why don't you keep up your French? There was some French book that Molly was reading—Le Règne Animal, I think."
"Cynthia! Can't you pick up a book and better yourself? I'm sure your conversations will never be interesting unless you read something better than newspapers. Why don't you keep practicing your French? There was a French book that Molly was reading—Le Règne Animal, I think."
"No! I never read it!" said Molly, blushing. "Mr. Roger Hamley sometimes read pieces out of it when I was first at the Hall, and told me what it was about."
"No! I never read it!" Molly said, blushing. "Mr. Roger Hamley would read parts of it aloud when I first got to the Hall and explained what it was about."
"Oh! well. Then I suppose I was mistaken. But it comes to all the same thing. Cynthia, you really must learn to settle yourself to some improving reading every morning."
"Oh! well. Then I guess I was wrong. But it amounts to the same thing. Cynthia, you really need to get into the habit of doing some enriching reading every morning."
Rather to Molly's surprise, Cynthia did not reply a word; but dutifully went and brought down from among her Boulogne school-books, Le Siècle de Louis XIV. But after a while, Molly saw that this "improving reading" was just as much a mere excuse for Cynthia's thinking her own thoughts as the newspaper had been.
To Molly's surprise, Cynthia didn't say a word; instead, she went and got Le Siècle de Louis XIV from her Boulogne schoolbooks. But after a while, Molly realized that this so-called "improving reading" was just as much an excuse for Cynthia to think her own thoughts as the newspaper had been.
CHAPTER XXVII.
FATHER AND SONS.
hings were not going
on any better at Hamley Hall. Nothing had
occurred to change the state of dissatisfied feeling into which the
Squire and his eldest son had respectively fallen; and the long
continuance merely of dissatisfaction is sure of itself to deepen the
feeling. Roger did all in his power to bring the father and son
together; but sometimes wondered if it would not have been better to
leave them alone; for they were falling into the habit of each making
him their confidant, and so defining emotions and opinions which
would have had less distinctness if they had been unexpressed. There
was little enough relief in the daily life at the Hall to help them
all to shake off the gloom; and it even told on the health of both
the Squire and Osborne. The Squire became thinner, his skin as well
as his clothes began to hang loose about him, and the freshness of
his colour turned to red streaks, till his cheeks looked like
Eardiston pippins, instead of resembling "a Katherine pear on the
side that's next the sun." Roger thought that his father sate indoors
and smoked in his study more than was good for him, but it had become
difficult to get him far afield; he was too much afraid of coming
across some sign of the discontinued drainage works, or being
irritated afresh by the sight of his depreciated timber. Osborne was
wrapt up in the idea of arranging his poems for the press, and so
working out his wish for independence. What with daily writing to his
wife—taking his letters himself to a distant post-office, and
receiving hers there—touching up his sonnets, &c., with fastidious
care—and occasionally giving himself the pleasure of a visit to the
Gibsons, and enjoying the society of the two pleasant girls there, he
found little time for being with his father. Indeed, Osborne was too
self-indulgent or "sensitive," as he termed it, to bear well with the
Squire's gloomy fits, or too frequent querulousness. The
consciousness of his secret, too, made Osborne uncomfortable in his
father's presence. It was very well for all parties that Roger was
not "sensitive," for, if he had been, there were times when it would
have been hard to bear little spurts of domestic tyranny, by which
his father strove to assert his power over both his sons. One of
these occurred very soon after the night of the Hollingford
charity-ball.
Things weren’t any better at Hamley Hall. Nothing had happened to change the feelings of dissatisfaction that the Squire and his eldest son were experiencing, and the prolonged dissatisfaction was only making things worse. Roger did everything he could to bring them together but sometimes wondered if it would be better to leave them alone; they were starting to rely on him as their confidant, which only clarified feelings and opinions that might have been less defined if left unspoken. There wasn’t much relief in their daily life at the Hall to help lift the gloom, and it was affecting both the Squire’s and Osborne’s health. The Squire became thinner, his skin and clothes started to hang off him, and the healthy flush in his cheeks faded to red streaks, making them look like Eardiston pippins instead of “a Katherine pear on the sunlit side.” Roger thought his father spent too much time indoors smoking in his study, but it had become difficult to get him out; he was too worried about stumbling upon signs of the halted drainage work or being irritated by the sight of devalued timber. Osborne was absorbed in preparing his poems for publication, working toward his desire for independence. Between daily letters to his wife—delivering them personally to a distant post office and receiving hers there—refining his sonnets with meticulous care, and occasionally visiting the Gibsons to enjoy the company of the two lovely girls, he found little time to spend with his father. In fact, Osborne was too self-indulgent or “sensitive,” as he liked to call it, to handle the Squire's gloomy moods or frequent complaints very well. The awareness of his secret also made Osborne uneasy around his father. It was fortunate for everyone that Roger wasn’t “sensitive,” because if he had been, there were moments when the petty displays of domestic authority through which his father tried to assert control over both his sons would have been hard to tolerate. One of these occurrences happened shortly after the night of the Hollingford charity ball.
Roger had induced his father to come out with him; and the Squire had, on his son's suggestion, taken with him his long unused spud. The two had wandered far afield; perhaps the elder man had found the unwonted length of exercise too much for him; for, as he approached the house, on his return, he became what nurses call in children "fractious," and ready to turn on his companion for every remark he made. Roger understood the case by instinct, as it were, and bore it all with his usual sweetness of temper. They entered the house by the front door; it lay straight on their line of march. On the old cracked yellow-marble slab, there lay a card with Lord Hollingford's name on it, which Robinson, evidently on the watch for their return, hastened out of his pantry to deliver to Roger.
Roger had convinced his father to go out with him, and the Squire, following his son's suggestion, brought along his old spud that he hadn't used in a long time. They had wandered quite far; perhaps the older man found the unusual amount of exercise too tiring because, as he neared the house on their way back, he became what nurses call "fussy" with kids and was ready to snap at Roger for any comment he made. Roger instinctively understood what was going on and handled it all with his usual calm demeanor. They entered the house through the front door, which was right in their path. On the old cracked yellow-marble slab, there was a card with Lord Hollingford's name on it, which Robinson, clearly waiting for their return, hurried out of the pantry to give to Roger.
"His lordship was very sorry not to see you, Mr. Roger, and his lordship left a note for you. Mr. Osborne took it, I think, when he passed through. I asked his lordship if he would like to see Mr. Osborne, who was indoors, as I thought. But his lordship said he was pressed for time, and told me to make his excuses."
"His lordship was really sorry he couldn’t see you, Mr. Roger, and he left a note for you. I believe Mr. Osborne picked it up when he went by. I asked his lordship if he wanted to see Mr. Osborne, who I thought was inside. But his lordship said he was short on time and asked me to apologize on his behalf."
"Didn't he ask for me?" growled the Squire.
"Didn’t he ask for me?" the Squire growled.
"No, sir; I can't say as his lordship did. He would never have thought of Mr. Osborne, sir, if I hadn't named him. It was Mr. Roger he seemed so keen after."
"No, sir; I can't say that his lordship did. He never would have thought of Mr. Osborne, sir, if I hadn't mentioned him. It was Mr. Roger he seemed so interested in."
"Very odd," said the Squire. Roger said nothing, although he naturally felt some curiosity. He went into the drawing-room, not quite aware that his father was following him. Osborne sate at a table near the fire, pen in hand, looking over one of his poems, and dotting the i's, crossing the t's, and now and then pausing over the alteration of a word.
"Very strange," said the Squire. Roger didn't say anything, though he was naturally curious. He walked into the living room, not realizing that his father was right behind him. Osborne was sitting at a table near the fire, pen in hand, reviewing one of his poems, dotting the i's, crossing the t's, and occasionally stopping to change a word.
"Oh, Roger!" he said, as his brother came in, "here's been Lord Hollingford wanting to see you."
"Oh, Roger!" he said when his brother walked in, "Lord Hollingford has been wanting to see you."
"I know," replied Roger.
"I get it," replied Roger.
"And he's left a note for you. Robinson tried to persuade him it was for my father, so he's added a 'junior' (Roger Hamley, Esq., junior) in pencil." The Squire was in the room by this time, and what he had overheard rubbed him up still more the wrong way. Roger took his unopened note and read it.
"And he left you a note. Robinson tried to convince him it was for my dad, so he added a 'junior' (Roger Hamley, Esq., junior) in pencil." By this time, the Squire was in the room, and what he had overheard only annoyed him further. Roger took his unopened note and read it.
"What does he say?" asked the Squire.
"What does he say?" the Squire asked.
Roger handed him the note. It contained an invitation to dinner to meet M. Geoffroi St. H——, whose views on certain subjects Roger had been advocating in the article Lord Hollingford had spoken about to Molly, when he danced with her at the Hollingford ball. M. Geoffroi St. H—— was in England now, and was expected to pay a visit at the Towers in the course of the following week. He had expressed a wish to meet the author of the paper which had already attracted the attention of the French comparative anatomists; and Lord Hollingford added a few words as to his own desire to make the acquaintance of a neighbour whose tastes were so similar to his own; and then followed a civil message from Lord and Lady Cumnor.
Roger handed him the note. It was an invitation to dinner to meet M. Geoffroi St. H——, whose opinions on certain topics Roger had been promoting in the article that Lord Hollingford had mentioned to Molly while dancing with her at the Hollingford ball. M. Geoffroi St. H—— was currently in England and was expected to visit the Towers sometime next week. He had expressed a desire to meet the author of the paper that had already caught the attention of French comparative anatomists; and Lord Hollingford shared a few words about his own interest in getting to know a neighbor with such similar tastes; then there was a polite message from Lord and Lady Cumnor.
Lord Hollingford's hand was cramped and rather illegible. The squire could not read it all at once, and was enough put out to decline any assistance in deciphering it. At last he made it out.
Lord Hollingford's handwriting was cramped and hard to read. The squire couldn't decipher it all at once and was annoyed enough to refuse any help in figuring it out. Finally, he managed to read it.
"So my lord lieutenant is taking some notice of the Hamleys at last. The election is coming on, is it? But I can tell him we're not to be got so easily. I suppose this trap is set for you, Osborne? What's this you've been writing that the French mounseer is so taken with?"
"So my lord lieutenant is finally paying attention to the Hamleys. The election is coming up, right? But I can assure him we won't be swayed that easily. I guess this is a trap for you, Osborne? What have you been writing that the French guy is so impressed with?"
"It is not me, sir!" said Osborne. "Both note and call are for Roger."
"It’s not me, sir!" said Osborne. "Both the note and the call are for Roger."
"I don't understand it," said the Squire. "These Whig fellows have never done their duty by me; not that I want it of them. The Duke of Debenham used to pay the Hamleys a respect due to 'em—the oldest landowners in the county—but since he died, and this shabby Whig lord has succeeded him, I've never dined at the lord lieutenant's—no, not once."
"I don't get it," said the Squire. "These Whig guys have never treated me right; not that I really expect anything from them. The Duke of Debenham used to show the Hamleys the respect they deserve—the oldest landowners in the county—but since he passed away, and this cheap Whig lord took over, I haven't dined at the lord lieutenant's—not even once."
"But I think, sir, I've heard you say Lord Cumnor used to invite you,—only you did not choose to go," said Roger.
"But I think, sir, I've heard you say that Lord Cumnor used to invite you—only you chose not to go," said Roger.
"Yes. What d'ye mean by that? Do you suppose I was going to desert the principles of my family, and curry favour with the Whigs? No! leave that to them. They can ask the heir of the Hamleys fast enough when a county election is coming on."
"Yes. What do you mean by that? Do you think I was going to abandon my family's principles and try to win over the Whigs? No! Let them handle that. They can quickly approach the heir of the Hamleys when a county election is coming up."
"I tell you, sir," said Osborne, in the irritable tone he sometimes used when his father was particularly unreasonable, "it is not me Lord Hollingford is inviting; it is Roger. Roger is making himself known for what he is, a first-rate fellow," continued Osborne—a sting of self-reproach mingling with his generous pride in his brother—"and he's getting himself a name; he's been writing about these new French theories and discoveries, and this foreign savant very naturally wants to make his acquaintance, and so Lord Hollingford asks him to dine. It's as clear as can be," lowering his tone, and addressing himself to Roger; "it has nothing to do with politics, if my father would but see it."
"I’m telling you, sir," Osborne said, using the irritated tone he often had when his father was being particularly unreasonable, "it's not me Lord Hollingford is inviting; it's Roger. Roger is establishing his reputation as he truly is, a top-notch guy," he continued—a twinge of self-reproach mixed with his genuine pride in his brother—"and he’s making a name for himself; he’s been writing about these new French theories and discoveries, and this foreign savant naturally wants to meet him, so Lord Hollingford invites him to dinner. It's as obvious as can be," he lowered his voice to speak directly to Roger, "it has nothing to do with politics, if my father would just understand."
Of course the Squire heard this little aside with the unlucky uncertainty of hearing which is a characteristic of the beginning of deafness; and its effect on him was perceptible in the increased acrimony of his next speech.
Of course, the Squire caught this little remark with the unfortunate uncertainty that comes with the early stages of deafness, and it was clear that it affected him in the heightened bitterness of his next comment.
"You young men think you know everything. I tell you it's a palpable Whig trick. And what business has Roger—if it is Roger the man wants—to go currying favour with the French? In my day we were content to hate 'em and to lick 'em. But it's just like your conceit, Osborne, setting yourself up to say it's your younger brother they're asking, and not you; I tell you it's you. They think the eldest son was sure to be called after his father, Roger—Roger Hamley, junior. It's as plain as a pike-staff. They know they can't catch me with chaff, but they've got up this French dodge. What business had you to go writing about the French, Roger? I should have thought you were too sensible to take any notice of their fancies and theories; but if it is you they've asked, I'll not have you going and meeting these foreigners at a Whig house. They ought to have asked Osborne. He's the representative of the Hamleys, if I'm not; and they can't get me, let 'em try ever so. Besides, Osborne has got a bit of the mounseer about him, which he caught with being so fond of going off to the Continent, instead of coming back to his good old English home."
"You young guys think you know everything. I'm telling you, it's a clear Whig trick. And what business does Roger—if it is Roger who wants to—have currying favor with the French? In my day, we were content to hate them and to fight them. But it's just like your arrogance, Osborne, acting as if it's your younger brother they're asking for, not you; I'm telling you, it's you. They think the eldest son is sure to be named after his father, Roger—Roger Hamley, Jr. It's as clear as day. They know they can't fool me with nonsense, but they've come up with this French scheme. What were you thinking writing about the French, Roger? I would have thought you were too sensible to pay attention to their ideas and theories; but if it is you they've asked, I don't want you going and meeting these foreigners at a Whig house. They should have asked Osborne. He's the true representative of the Hamleys, if I'm not; and they can't get me, no matter how hard they try. Besides, Osborne has picked up some of that fancy foreign air just from being so fond of traveling to the Continent instead of coming back to his good old English home."
He went on repeating much of what he had said before, till he left the room. Osborne had kept on replying to his unreasonable grumblings, which had only added to his anger; and as soon as the Squire was fairly gone, Osborne turned to Roger, and said,—
He kept repeating a lot of what he had said earlier until he left the room. Osborne had continued to respond to his unreasonable complaints, which only fueled his anger; and as soon as the Squire was completely gone, Osborne turned to Roger and said, —
"Of course you'll go, Roger? ten to one he'll be in another mind to-morrow."
"Of course you'll go, Roger? There's a good chance he'll feel differently tomorrow."
"No," said Roger, bluntly enough—for he was extremely disappointed; "I won't run the chance of vexing him. I shall refuse."
"No," Roger said flatly—he was really disappointed; "I’m not going to risk annoying him. I’ll just say no."
"Don't be such a fool!" exclaimed Osborne. "Really, my father is too unreasonable. You heard how he kept contradicting himself; and such a man as you to be kept under like a child by—"
"Don't be so foolish!" Osborne shouted. "Honestly, my father is way too unreasonable. You heard how he kept going back and forth; and a man like you being treated like a child by—"
"Don't let us talk any more about it, Osborne," said Roger, writing away fast. When the note was written, and sent off, he came and put his hand caressingly on Osborne's shoulder, as he sate pretending to read, but in reality vexed with both his father and his brother, though on very different grounds.
"Let's not talk about it anymore, Osborne," Roger said, writing quickly. Once the note was written and sent off, he came over and gently placed his hand on Osborne's shoulder. Osborne was pretending to read but was actually annoyed with both his father and his brother, though for very different reasons.
"How go the poems, old fellow? I hope they're nearly ready to bring out."
"How are the poems coming along, my friend? I hope they're almost ready to be released."
"No, they're not; and if it weren't for the money, I shouldn't care if they were never published. What's the use of fame, if one mayn't reap the fruits of it?"
"No, they're not; and if it weren't for the money, I wouldn't care if they were never published. What's the point of fame if you can't enjoy the benefits of it?"
"Come, now, we'll have no more of that; let's talk about the money. I shall be going up for my Fellowship examination next week, and then we'll have a purse in common, for they'll never think of not giving me a Fellowship now I'm senior wrangler. I'm short enough myself at present, and I don't like to bother my father; but when I'm Fellow, you shall take me down to Winchester, and introduce me to the little wife."
"Come on, let’s drop that; let’s talk about the money. I’ll be taking my Fellowship exam next week, and then we’ll have a shared fund, since they’d never consider not giving me a Fellowship now that I’m senior wrangler. I’m a bit tight on cash right now, and I don’t want to bug my dad; but once I’m a Fellow, you can take me down to Winchester and introduce me to your little wife."
"It will be a month next Monday since I left her," said Osborne, laying down his papers and gazing into the fire, as if by so doing he could call up her image. "In her letter this morning she bids me give you such a pretty message. It won't bear translating into English; you must read it for yourself," continued he, pointing out a line or two in a letter he drew from his pocket.
"It'll be a month next Monday since I left her," said Osborne, putting down his papers and staring into the fire, as if he could conjure her image by doing so. "In her letter this morning, she asks me to give you such a lovely message. It just won't translate into English; you have to read it for yourself," he added, pointing out a line or two in a letter he took from his pocket.
Roger suspected that one or two of the words were wrongly spelt; but their purport was so gentle and loving, and had such a touch of simple, respectful gratitude in them, that he could not help being drawn afresh to the little unseen sister-in-law, whose acquaintance Osborne had made by helping her to look for some missing article of the children's, whom she was taking for their daily walk in Hyde Park. For Mrs. Osborne Hamley had been nothing more than a French bonne, very pretty, very graceful, and very much tyrannized over by the rough little boys and girls she had in charge. She was a little orphan girl, who had charmed the heads of a travelling English family, as she had brought madame some articles of lingerie at an hotel; and she had been hastily engaged by them as bonne to their children, partly as a pet and plaything herself, partly because it would be so good for the children to learn French from a native (of Alsace!). By-and-by her mistress ceased to take any particular notice of Aimée in the bustle of London and London gaiety; but though feeling more and more forlorn in a strange land every day, the French girl strove hard to do her duty. One touch of kindness, however, was enough to set the fountain gushing; and she and Osborne naturally fell into an ideal state of love, to be rudely disturbed by the indignation of the mother, when accident discovered to her the attachment existing between her children's bonne and a young man of an entirely different class. Aimée answered truly to all her mistress's questions; but no worldly wisdom, nor any lesson to be learnt from another's experience, could in the least disturb her entire faith in her lover. Perhaps Mrs. Townshend did no more than her duty in immediately sending Aimée back to Metz, where she had first met with her, and where such relations as remained to the girl might be supposed to be residing. But, altogether, she knew so little of the kind of people or life to which she was consigning her deposed protégée that Osborne, after listening with impatient indignation to the lecture which Mrs. Townshend gave him when he insisted on seeing her in order to learn what had become of his love, that the young man set off straight for Metz in hot haste, and did not let the grass grow under his feet until he had made Aimée his wife. All this had occurred the previous autumn, and Roger did not know of the step his brother had taken until it was irrevocable. Then came the mother's death, which, besides the simplicity of its own overwhelming sorrow, brought with it the loss of the kind, tender mediatrix, who could always soften and turn his father's heart. It is doubtful, however, if even she could have succeeded in this, for the Squire looked high, and over high, for the wife of his heir; he detested all foreigners, and overmore held all Roman Catholics in dread and abomination something akin to our ancestors' hatred of witchcraft. All these prejudices were strengthened by his grief. Argument would always have glanced harmless away off his shield of utter unreason; but a loving impulse, in a happy moment, might have softened his heart to what he most detested in the former days. But the happy moments came not now, and the loving impulses were trodden down by the bitterness of his frequent remorse, not less than by his growing irritability; so Aimée lived solitary in the little cottage near Winchester in which Osborne had installed her when she first came to England as his wife, and in the dainty furnishing of which he had run himself so deeply into debt. For Osborne consulted his own fastidious taste in his purchases rather than her simple childlike wishes and wants, and looked upon the little Frenchwoman rather as the future mistress of Hamley Hall than as the wife of a man who was wholly dependent on others at present. He had chosen a southern county as being far removed from those midland shires where the name of Hamley of Hamley was well and widely known; for he did not wish his wife to assume, if only for a time, a name which was not justly and legally her own. In all these arrangements he had willingly striven to do his full duty by her; and she repaid him with passionate devotion and admiring reverence. If his vanity had met with a check, or his worthy desires for college honours had been disappointed, he knew where to go for a comforter; one who poured out praise till her words were choked in her throat by the rapidity of her thoughts, and who poured out the small vials of her indignation on every one who did not acknowledge and bow down to her husband's merits. If she ever wished to go to the château—that was his home—and to be introduced to his family, Aimée never hinted a word of it to him. Only she did yearn, and she did plead, for a little more of her husband's company; and the good reasons which had convinced her of the necessity of his being so much away when he was present to urge them, failed in their efficacy when she tried to reproduce them to herself in his absence.
Roger suspected that one or two of the words were misspelled; but their meaning was so gentle and loving, and carried such a touch of simple, respectful gratitude, that he couldn't help but feel drawn again to the little unseen sister-in-law, whom Osborne had met while helping her find a missing item belonging to the children she was taking for their daily walk in Hyde Park. Mrs. Osborne Hamley had been nothing more than a French nanny, very pretty, very graceful, and very much bossed around by the rough little boys and girls she looked after. She was a little orphan girl who had charmed the heads of a traveling English family when she brought Madame some lingerie at a hotel; they quickly hired her as a nanny for their children, partly as a pet and plaything, and partly because it would be good for the kids to learn French from a native (from Alsace!). Eventually, her mistress stopped paying special attention to Aimée amidst the busyness of London and its social scene; but even as she felt more and more lost in a strange land every day, the French girl worked hard to do her job. One act of kindness, however, was enough to open up her heart, and she and Osborne found themselves in a perfect state of love, rudely interrupted by the mother's anger when she discovered the relationship between her children's nanny and a young man from a completely different background. Aimée answered all her mistress’s questions truthfully; but no worldly wisdom or lessons learned from others could shake her complete faith in her lover. Perhaps Mrs. Townshend was only doing her duty by sending Aimée back to Metz, where she had first met her, and where the girl's remaining connections might be assumed to reside. However, she knew so little about the kind of people or life to which she was sending her displaced protégée that Osborne, after listening with impatient indignation to the lecture Mrs. Townshend gave him when he insisted on seeing Aimée to find out what happened to his love, hurried straight to Metz and didn't waste any time until he had made Aimée his wife. All this happened the previous autumn, and Roger didn't learn of the step his brother had taken until it was too late. Then came the mother’s death, which, along with its own overwhelming sorrow, brought with it the loss of the kind, tender mediator who could always soften and sway his father's heart. It is uncertain, however, if even she could have succeeded in this, as the Squire had high and unreasonable expectations for the wife of his heir; he despised all foreigners and held all Roman Catholics in fear and loathing similar to our ancestors' hatred of witchcraft. All these biases were intensified by his grief. Arguments would have bounced harmlessly off his shield of utter unreason; but a loving gesture, in a good moment, might have softened his heart towards what he most hated in the past. But those happy moments didn't come now, and the loving urges were crushed by the bitterness of his frequent remorse and his growing irritability; so Aimée lived alone in the little cottage near Winchester where Osborne had settled her when she first came to England as his wife, and in the tasteful furnishings of which he had gone deeply into debt. Osborne favored his own refined taste in his purchases rather than Aimée's simple, childlike wishes and needs, viewing the little French woman more as the future mistress of Hamley Hall than as the wife of a man who was entirely dependent on others at the moment. He had chosen a southern county to settle in, far from the midland shires where the name of Hamley of Hamley was well known; he didn't want his wife to have to take on a name that wasn’t rightfully and legally her own, even for a short time. In all these arrangements, he made a genuine effort to do right by her; and she returned that with passionate devotion and admiration. If his ego faced a setback, or if his worthy ambitions for college honors were dashed, he knew where to find comfort—in her, who showered him with praise until her words got caught in her throat by the speed of her thoughts, and who vented her little outrage on anyone who didn’t recognize and honor her husband’s merits. If she ever wanted to go to the château—that was his home—and meet his family, Aimée never brought it up. All she wished for was a bit more of her husband's company; and the good reasons that had made her feel his absence was necessary lost their power when she tried to remind herself of them in his absence.
The afternoon of the day on which Lord Hollingford called Roger was going upstairs, three steps at a time, when, at a turn on the landing, he encountered his father. It was the first time he had seen him since their conversation about the Towers' invitation to dinner. The Squire stopped his son by standing right in the middle of the passage.
The afternoon that Lord Hollingford visited Roger, he was going upstairs, taking three steps at a time, when he ran into his father at a turn on the landing. It was the first time he had seen him since their talk about the Towers' dinner invitation. The Squire halted his son by standing right in the middle of the hall.
"Thou'rt going to meet the mounseer, my lad?" said he, half as affirmation, half as question.
"Are you going to meet the Frenchman, my boy?" he asked, half stating it, half asking.
"No, sir; I sent off James almost immediately with a note declining it. I don't care about it—that's to say, not to signify."
"No, sir; I sent James off right away with a note turning it down. I don't care about it—that is to say, it doesn't matter."
"Why did you take me up so sharp, Roger?" said his father pettishly. "You all take me up so hastily now-a-days. I think it's hard when a man mustn't be allowed a bit of crossness when he's tired and heavy at heart—that I do."
"Why did you snap at me like that, Roger?" his father said irritably. "You all jump on me so quickly these days. I think it's unfair when a man isn't allowed to be a little grumpy when he's tired and feeling down—that I do."
"But, father, I should never like to go to a house where they had slighted you."
"But, Dad, I would never want to go to a house that looked down on you."
"Nay, nay, lad," said the Squire, brightening up a little; "I think I slighted them. They asked me to dinner, after my lord was made lieutenant, time after time, but I never would go near 'em. I call that my slighting them."
"Nah, nah, kid," said the Squire, looking a bit more cheerful; "I think I overlooked them. They invited me to dinner repeatedly after my lord became lieutenant, but I never went to see them. I see that as my way of ignoring them."
And no more was said at the time; but the next day the Squire again stopped Roger.
And nothing more was said at the time; but the next day the Squire stopped Roger again.
"I've been making Jem try on his livery-coat that he hasn't worn this three or four years,—he's got too stout for it now."
"I've been getting Jem to try on his livery coat that he hasn't worn in three or four years—he's gotten too big for it now."
"Well, he needn't wear it, need he? and Morgan's lad will be glad enough of it,—he's sadly in want of clothes."
"Well, he doesn’t have to wear it, does he? And Morgan’s kid will be more than happy to have it—he’s really in need of clothes."
"Ay, ay; but who's to go with you when you call at the Towers? It's but polite to call after Lord What's-his-name has taken the trouble to come here; and I shouldn't like you to go without a groom."
"Yeah, but who’s going to go with you when you visit the Towers? It’s just courteous to drop by after Lord What’s-his-name has made the effort to come here; and I wouldn’t want you to go without a groom."
"My dear father! I shouldn't know what to do with a man riding at my back. I can find my way to the stable-yard for myself, or there'll be some man about to take my horse. Don't trouble yourself about that."
"My dear father! I wouldn't know what to do with a man riding behind me. I can find my way to the stable myself, or there will be someone around to take care of my horse. Don’t worry about it."
"Well, you're not Osborne, to be sure. Perhaps it won't strike 'em as strange for you. But you must look up, and hold your own, and remember you're one of the Hamleys, who've been on the same land for hundreds of years, while they're but trumpery Whig folk who only came into the county in Queen Anne's time."
"Well, you’re definitely not Osborne. Maybe it won't seem strange to them because of that. But you need to stand tall, hold your ground, and remember you’re one of the Hamleys, who have been on this land for hundreds of years, while they’re just some flashy Whig people who only arrived in the county during Queen Anne's reign."
CHAPTER XXVIII.
RIVALRY.
For some days after the ball Cynthia seemed languid, and was very silent. Molly, who had promised herself fully as much enjoyment in talking over the past gaiety with Cynthia as in the evening itself, was disappointed when she found that all conversation on the subject was rather evaded than encouraged. Mrs. Gibson, it is true, was ready to go over the ground as many times as any one liked; but her words were always like ready-made clothes, and never fitted individual thoughts. Anybody might have used them, and, with a change of proper names, they might have served to describe any ball. She repeatedly used the same language in speaking about it, till Molly knew the sentences and their sequence even to irritation.
For a few days after the ball, Cynthia seemed tired and was really quiet. Molly, who had been looking forward to chatting about the fun they had at the ball just as much as the event itself, felt let down when she realized that any talk about it was more avoided than welcomed. Mrs. Gibson, on the other hand, was happy to discuss the details as often as anyone wanted, but her comments always sounded generic, like off-the-rack clothes that didn’t fit anyone’s personal thoughts. Anyone could have used her words, and with a few name changes, they could have described any ball. She repeated the same phrases so many times that Molly even found them irritating.
"Ah! Mr. Osborne, you should have been there! I said to myself many a time how you really should have been there—you and your brother, of course."
"Ah! Mr. Osborne, you should have been there! I thought to myself countless times how you really should have been there—you and your brother, of course."
"I thought of you very often during the evening!"
"I thought about you a lot during the evening!"
"Did you? Now that I call very kind of you. Cynthia, darling! Do you hear what Mr. Osborne Hamley was saying?" as Cynthia came into the room just then. "He thought of us all on the evening of the ball."
"Did you? That's really kind of you. Cynthia, darling! Did you hear what Mr. Osborne Hamley was saying?" as Cynthia walked into the room just then. "He thought of all of us on the night of the ball."
"He did better than merely remember us then," said Cynthia, with her soft slow smile. "We owe him thanks for those beautiful flowers, mamma."
"He did more than just remember us then," said Cynthia, with her gentle, slow smile. "We should thank him for those lovely flowers, Mom."
"Oh!" said Osborne, "you must not thank me exclusively. I believe it was my thought, but Roger took all the trouble of it."
"Oh!" said Osborne, "you shouldn't thank me all by myself. I think it was my idea, but Roger did all the hard work."
"I consider the thought as everything," said Mrs. Gibson. "Thought is spiritual, while action is merely material."
"I believe that thought is everything," Mrs. Gibson said. "Thought is spiritual, while action is just physical."
This fine sentence took the speaker herself by surprise; and in such conversation as was then going on, it is not necessary to accurately define the meaning of everything that is said.
This impressive sentence caught the speaker off guard; and in the kind of conversation happening at that moment, it's not essential to precisely define the meaning of everything being said.
"I'm afraid the flowers were too late to be of much use, though," continued Osborne. "I met Preston the next morning, and of course we talked about the ball. I was sorry to find he had been beforehand with us."
"I'm afraid the flowers were too late to be of much use, though," continued Osborne. "I ran into Preston the next morning, and of course we talked about the ball. I was bummed to find out he had already taken the lead on that."
"He only sent one nosegay, and that was for Cynthia," said Molly, looking up from her work. "And it did not come till after we had received the flowers from Hamley." Molly caught a sight of Cynthia's face before she bent down again to her sewing. It was scarlet in colour, and there was a flash of anger in her eyes. Both she and her mother hastened to speak as soon as Molly had finished, but Cynthia's voice was choked with passion, and Mrs. Gibson had the word.
"He only sent one bouquet, and that was for Cynthia," said Molly, looking up from her work. "And it didn’t arrive until after we got the flowers from Hamley." Molly caught a glimpse of Cynthia's face before she bent down again to her sewing. It was bright red, and there was a spark of anger in her eyes. Both she and her mother rushed to speak as soon as Molly had finished, but Cynthia's voice was thick with emotion, and Mrs. Gibson had the first word.
"Mr. Preston's bouquet was just one of those formal affairs any one can buy at a nursery-garden, which always strike me as having no sentiment in them. I would far rather have two or three lilies of the valley gathered for me by a person I like, than the most expensive bouquet that could be bought!"
"Mr. Preston's bouquet was just one of those formal arrangements anyone can buy at a garden center, which always seems to me to have no real feeling behind them. I would much rather have two or three lilies of the valley picked for me by someone I care about than the fanciest bouquet money can buy!"
"Mr. Preston had no business to speak as if he had forestalled you," said Cynthia. "It came just as we were ready to go, and I put it into the fire directly."
"Mr. Preston had no right to act like he had beaten you to it," said Cynthia. "It came just as we were about to leave, and I threw it into the fire right away."
"Cynthia, my dear love!" said Mrs. Gibson (who had never heard of the fate of the flowers until now), "what an idea of yourself you will give to Mr. Osborne Hamley; but, to be sure, I can quite understand it. You inherit my feeling—my prejudice—sentimental I grant, against bought flowers."
"Cynthia, my dear love!" said Mrs. Gibson (who had never heard about the fate of the flowers until now), "what impression of yourself you will give to Mr. Osborne Hamley; but, of course, I can totally understand it. You inherit my feeling—my bias—sentimental, I admit, against store-bought flowers."
Cynthia was silent for a moment; then she said, "I used some of your flowers, Mr. Hamley, to dress Molly's hair. It was a great temptation, for the colour so exactly matched her coral ornaments; but I believe she thought it treacherous to disturb the arrangement, so I ought to take all the blame on myself."
Cynthia paused for a moment and then said, "I used some of your flowers, Mr. Hamley, to style Molly's hair. It was really tempting because the color matched her coral accessories perfectly; but I think she felt it was wrong to mess up the arrangement, so I should take full responsibility."
"The arrangement was my brother's, as I told you; but I am sure he would have preferred seeing them in Miss Gibson's hair rather than in the blazing fire. Mr. Preston comes far the worst off." Osborne was rather amused at the whole affair, and would have liked to probe Cynthia's motives a little farther. He did not hear Molly saying in as soft a voice as if she were talking to herself, "I wore mine just as they were sent," for Mrs. Gibson came in with a total change of subject.
"The arrangement was my brother's, as I mentioned; but I know he would have preferred to see them in Miss Gibson's hair rather than in the blazing fire. Mr. Preston has it the worst." Osborne found the whole situation somewhat entertaining and wanted to dig a little deeper into Cynthia's motives. He didn’t catch Molly saying in a gentle voice as if she were speaking to herself, "I wore mine just as they were sent," because Mrs. Gibson walked in with a complete change of topic.
"Speaking of lilies of the valley, is it true that they grow wild in Hurst Wood? It is not the season for them to be in flower yet; but when it is, I think we must take a walk there—with our luncheon in a basket—a little picnic in fact. You'll join us, won't you?" turning to Osborne. "I think it's a charming plan! You could ride to Hollingford and put up your horse here, and we could have a long day in the woods and all come home to dinner—dinner with a basket of lilies in the middle of the table!"
"Speaking of lilies of the valley, is it true they grow wild in Hurst Wood? It’s not their flowering season yet, but when it is, I think we should take a walk there—with a picnic lunch in a basket. You’ll join us, won’t you?" she said, turning to Osborne. "I think that sounds lovely! You could ride to Hollingford and leave your horse here, and we could spend a whole day in the woods and then come home for dinner—dinner with a basket of lilies in the center of the table!"
"I should like it very much," said Osborne; "but I may not be at home. Roger is more likely to be here, I believe, at that time—a month hence." He was thinking of the visit to London to sell his poems, and the run down to Winchester which he anticipated afterwards—the end of May had been the period fixed for this pleasure for some time, not merely in his own mind, but in writing to his wife.
"I would really like that," said Osborne, "but I might not be home. I think Roger is more likely to be here around that time—a month from now." He was thinking about the trip to London to sell his poems and the quick visit to Winchester he was planning afterward—the end of May had been the date set for this enjoyment for a while, not just in his own mind, but also in messages to his wife.
"Oh, but you must be with us! We must wait for Mr. Osborne Hamley, must not we, Cynthia?"
"Oh, but you have to join us! We should wait for Mr. Osborne Hamley, right, Cynthia?"
"I'm afraid the lilies won't wait," replied Cynthia.
"I'm afraid the lilies won't wait," Cynthia said.
"Well, then, we must put it off till dog-rose and honey-suckle time. You will be at home then, won't you? or does the London season present too many attractions?"
"Well, we should postpone it until the time of dog roses and honeysuckles. You'll be home then, right? Or does the London season have too many appeals?"
"I don't exactly know when dog-roses are in flower!"
"I'm not really sure when dog roses bloom!"
"Not know, and you a poet? Don't you remember the lines—
"Don't you know, and you're a poet? Don't you remember the lines
It was the time of roses, We plucked them as we passed?" |
"Yes; but that doesn't specify the time of year that is the time of roses; and I believe my movements are guided more by the lunar calendar than the floral. You had better take my brother for your companion; he is practical in his love of flowers, I am only theoretical."
"Yes, but that doesn’t say which part of the year is the season for roses, and I think my actions are influenced more by the lunar calendar than the floral one. You should choose my brother as your companion; he is practical when it comes to flowers, while I’m just theoretical."
"Does that fine word 'theoretical' imply that you are ignorant?" asked Cynthia.
"Does that fancy word 'theoretical' mean that you don't know anything?" Cynthia asked.
"Of course we shall be happy to see your brother; but why can't we have you too? I confess to a little timidity in the presence of one so deep and learned as your brother is from all accounts. Give me a little charming ignorance, if we must call it by that hard word."
"Of course we’ll be happy to see your brother; but why can’t we have you too? I admit I feel a bit shy around someone as deep and knowledgeable as your brother is said to be. Just give me a little charming ignorance, if we have to label it with that harsh word."
Osborne bowed. It was very pleasant to him to be petted and flattered, even though he knew all the time that it was only flattery. It was an agreeable contrast to the home that was so dismal to him, to come to this house, where the society of two agreeable girls, and the soothing syrup of their mother's speeches, awaited him whenever he liked to come. To say nothing of the difference that struck upon his senses, poetical though he might esteem himself, of a sitting-room full of flowers, and tokens of women's presence, where all the chairs were easy, and all the tables well covered with pretty things, to the great drawing-room at home, where the draperies were threadbare, and the seats uncomfortable, and no sign of feminine presence ever now lent a grace to the stiff arrangement of the furniture. Then the meals, light and well-cooked, suited his taste and delicate appetite so much better than the rich and heavy viands prepared by the servants at the Hall. Osborne was becoming a little afraid of falling into the habit of paying too frequent visits to the Gibsons (and that, not because he feared the consequences of his intercourse with the two young ladies; for he never thought of them excepting as friends;—the fact of his marriage was constantly present to his mind, and Aimée too securely enthroned in his heart, for him to remember that he might be looked upon by others in the light of a possible husband); but the reflection forced itself upon him occasionally, whether he was not trespassing too often on hospitality which he had at present no means of returning.
Osborne bowed. It felt great to be pampered and complimented, even though he knew it was just flattery. It was a refreshing change from his gloomy home life to come to this house, where he could enjoy the company of two charming girls and the comforting words of their mother whenever he chose. Not to mention the striking difference that hit him, even if he considered himself poetic, between a living room filled with flowers and signs of women's presence—where all the chairs were comfortable and all the tables adorned with pretty things—and the grand drawing-room at home, where the drapes were worn out, the seating was uncomfortable, and there were no signs of female presence to soften the rigid arrangement of the furniture. Then there were the meals, light and well-cooked, which suited his taste and delicate appetite far better than the rich and heavy dishes made by the staff at the Hall. Osborne was starting to worry about getting into the habit of visiting the Gibsons too often (not because he feared the implications of spending time with the two young ladies; he only thought of them as friends. He was always aware of his marriage, and Aimée was too firmly established in his heart for him to consider that others might view him as a potential husband). Still, he occasionally wondered if he was overstaying his welcome and taking advantage of hospitality he currently had no way to repay.
But Mrs. Gibson, in her ignorance of the true state of affairs, was secretly exultant in the attraction which made him come so often and lounge away the hours in her house and garden. She had no doubt that it was Cynthia who drew him thither; and if the latter had been a little more amenable to reason, her mother would have made more frequent allusions than she did to the crisis which she thought was approaching. But she was restrained by the intuitive conviction that if her daughter became conscious of what was impending, and was made aware of Mrs. Gibson's cautious and quiet efforts to forward the catastrophe, the wilful girl would oppose herself to it with all her skill and power. As it was, Mrs. Gibson trusted that Cynthia's affections would become engaged before she knew where she was, and that in that case she would not attempt to frustrate her mother's delicate scheming, even though she did perceive it. But Cynthia had come across too many varieties of flirtation, admiration, and even passionate love, to be for a moment at fault as to the quiet friendly nature of Osborne's attentions. She received him always as a sister might a brother. It was different when Roger returned from his election as Fellow of Trinity. The trembling diffidence, the hardly suppressed ardour of his manner, made Cynthia understand before long with what kind of love she had now to deal. She did not put it into so many words—no, not even in her secret heart—but she recognized the difference between Roger's relation to her and Osborne's long before Mrs. Gibson found it out. Molly was, however, the first to discover the nature of Roger's attention. The first time they saw him after the ball, it came out to her observant eyes. Cynthia had not been looking well since that evening; she went slowly about the house, pale and heavy-eyed; and, fond as she usually was of exercise and the free fresh air, there was hardly any persuading her now to go out for a walk. Molly watched this fading with tender anxiety, but to all her questions as to whether she had felt over-fatigued with her dancing, whether anything had occurred to annoy her, and all such inquiries, she replied in languid negatives. Once Molly touched on Mr. Preston's name, and found that this was a subject on which Cynthia was raw; now, Cynthia's face lighted up with spirit, and her whole body showed her ill-repressed agitation, but she only said a few sharp words, expressive of anything but kindly feeling towards the gentleman, and then bade Molly never name his name to her again. Still, the latter could not imagine that he was more than intensely distasteful to her friend, as well as to herself; he could not be the cause of Cynthia's present indisposition. But this indisposition lasted so many days without change or modification, that even Mrs. Gibson noticed it, and Molly became positively uneasy. Mrs. Gibson considered Cynthia's quietness and languor as the natural consequence of "dancing with everybody who asked her" at the ball. Partners whose names were in the "Red Book" would not have produced half the amount of fatigue, according to Mrs. Gibson's judgment apparently, and if Cynthia had been quite well, very probably she would have hit the blot in her mother's speech with one of her touches of sarcasm. Then, again, when Cynthia did not rally, Mrs. Gibson grew impatient, and accused her of being fanciful and lazy; at length, and partly at Molly's instance, there came an appeal to Mr. Gibson, and a professional examination of the supposed invalid, which Cynthia hated more than anything, especially when the verdict was, that there was nothing very much the matter, only a general lowness of tone, and depression of health and spirits, which would soon be remedied by tonics, and meanwhile, she was not to be roused to exertion.
But Mrs. Gibson, unaware of the real situation, was secretly thrilled by the attraction that made him visit frequently and spend time in her house and garden. She was convinced it was Cynthia who drew him there; and if Cynthia had been a bit more agreeable to reason, her mother would have hinted more often about the situation she thought was developing. However, she was held back by the instinctive belief that if her daughter became aware of what was happening and knew about Mrs. Gibson's cautious efforts to facilitate the outcome, the willful girl would resist it with all her might. As it stood, Mrs. Gibson hoped that Cynthia would become emotionally invested before she realized what was happening, and that, even if she did, she wouldn't try to sabotage her mother's delicate plans. But Cynthia had encountered too many kinds of flirtation, admiration, and even passionate love to mistake the friendly nature of Osborne's attentions. She always treated him like a sister would a brother. That changed when Roger returned from being elected Fellow of Trinity. The nervous shyness and barely contained passion in his manner made Cynthia soon realize the type of love she was now facing. She didn't articulate it in those exact terms—not even in her secret heart—but she recognized the difference between Roger's feelings for her and Osborne's long before Mrs. Gibson figured it out. However, Molly was the first to notice the nature of Roger's interest. The first time they saw him after the ball, it became apparent to her observant eyes. Cynthia hadn’t been looking well since that evening; she moved slowly around the house, looking pale and heavy-eyed; and despite her usual love for exercise and fresh air, it was nearly impossible to persuade her to go out for a walk. Molly observed this deterioration with tender concern, but to all her questions about whether she felt overly tired from dancing, whether anything had upset her, and similar inquiries, Cynthia replied with fatigued negatives. Once, when Molly mentioned Mr. Preston's name, Cynthia's reaction showed it was a sore spot for her; her face lit up with emotion, and her entire body showed her uncontained distress, but she only said a few sharp words that conveyed anything but kindness toward the man, and then told Molly to never mention his name to her again. Still, Molly couldn’t believe he caused more than intense dislike from Cynthia, as well as from herself; he couldn’t be the reason for Cynthia’s current unhappiness. However, this unhappiness persisted for so many days without change that even Mrs. Gibson noticed it, and Molly became genuinely worried. Mrs. Gibson thought Cynthia's quietness and fatigue were just the natural result of "dancing with everyone who asked her" at the ball. Partners whose names were in the "Red Book" wouldn't have caused even half the fatigue, in Mrs. Gibson's opinion, and if Cynthia had been really well, she likely would have made a sarcastic comment about her mother’s remarks. But when Cynthia didn’t bounce back, Mrs. Gibson grew impatient and accused her of being whimsical and lazy; eventually, partly at Molly's urging, they turned to Mr. Gibson for help, and he carried out a professional examination of the supposed invalid, which Cynthia hated more than anything, especially when the outcome was that there wasn’t much wrong—just a general lack of energy, along with low mood and health, which would soon improve with tonics, and in the meantime, she wasn’t to be pushed into action.
"If there is one thing I dislike," said Cynthia to Mr. Gibson, after he had pronounced tonics to be the cure for her present state, "it is the way doctors have of giving tablespoonfuls of nauseous mixtures as a certain remedy for sorrows and cares." She laughed up in his face as she spoke; she had always a pretty word and smile for him, even in the midst of her loss of spirits.
"If there's one thing I can't stand," Cynthia told Mr. Gibson after he suggested tonics as the solution for her current situation, "it's the way doctors hand out tablespoonfuls of disgusting mixtures as a guaranteed fix for sadness and worries." She laughed right at him as she spoke; she always had a sweet word and smile for him, even when she was feeling down.
"Come! you acknowledge you have 'sorrows' by that speech: we'll make a bargain: if you'll tell me your sorrows and cares, I'll try and find some other remedy for them than giving you what you are pleased to term my nauseous mixtures."
"Come on! You admit you have 'sorrows' by saying that: let's make a deal: if you share your troubles and worries with me, I'll try to find a different solution for them instead of giving you what you call my disgusting potions."
"No," said Cynthia, colouring; "I never said I had sorrows and cares; I spoke generally. What should I have a sorrow about?—you and Molly are only too kind to me," her eyes filling with tears.
"No," said Cynthia, blushing; "I never said I had sorrows and worries; I was speaking in general. What reason do I have to be sad?—you and Molly are just too kind to me," her eyes welling up with tears.
"Well, well, we'll not talk of such gloomy things, and you shall have some sweet emulsion to disguise the taste of the bitters I shall be obliged to fall back upon."
"Alright, let’s not get into such depressing topics, and I’ll give you some sweet mixture to mask the flavor of the bitter stuff I’ll have to rely on."
"Please, don't. If you but knew how I dislike emulsions and disguises! I do want bitters—and if I sometimes—if I'm obliged to—if I'm not truthful myself, I do like truth in others—at least, sometimes." She ended her sentence with another smile, but it was rather faint and watery.
"Please, don't. If you only knew how much I dislike emulsions and disguises! I really want bitters—and if I sometimes—if I have to—if I'm not being honest myself, I do appreciate honesty in others—at least, sometimes." She finished her sentence with another smile, but it was pretty faint and watery.
Now the first person out of the house to notice Cynthia's change of look and manner was Roger Hamley—and yet he did not see her until, under the influence of the nauseous mixture, she was beginning to recover. But his eyes were scarcely off her during the first five minutes he was in the room. All the time he was trying to talk to Mrs. Gibson in reply to her civil platitudes, he was studying Cynthia; and at the first convenient pause he came and stood before Molly, so as to interpose his person between her and the rest of the room; for some visitors had come in subsequent to his entrance.
Now, the first person to notice Cynthia's change in appearance and behavior was Roger Hamley—and he didn’t actually see her until she started to recover from the unpleasant mixture. But he barely took his eyes off her during the first five minutes he was in the room. While he was trying to engage in polite conversation with Mrs. Gibson, he was really observing Cynthia. At the first chance he got, he moved to stand in front of Molly to block her view of the rest of the room because some guests had arrived after he did.
"Molly, how ill your sister is looking! What is it? Has she had advice? You must forgive me, but so often those who live together in the same house don't observe the first approaches of illness."
"Molly, your sister looks really sick! What’s going on? Has she seen a doctor? You’ll have to forgive me, but it’s common for people who live together to miss the early signs of illness."
Now Molly's love for Cynthia was fast and unwavering, but if anything tried it, it was the habit Roger had fallen into of always calling Cynthia Molly's sister in speaking to the latter. From any one else it would have been a matter of indifference to her, and hardly to be noticed; it vexed both ear and heart when Roger used the expression; and there was a curtness of manner as well as of words in her reply.
Now, Molly's love for Cynthia was strong and steady, but if anything tested it, it was Roger's habit of always referring to Cynthia as Molly's sister when he spoke to her. If it had come from anyone else, Molly wouldn’t have cared and probably wouldn’t have even noticed; it irritated both her ears and her heart when Roger said it, and her reply was both terse in tone and in words.
"Oh! she was over-tired by the ball. Papa has seen her, and says she will be all right very soon."
"Oh! she was really tired from the ball. Dad has seen her and says she'll be okay very soon."
"I wonder if she wants change of air?" said Roger, meditatively. "I wish—I do wish we could have her at the Hall; you and your mother too, of course. But I don't see how it would be possible—or else how charming it would be!"
"I wonder if she needs a change of scenery?" said Roger, thoughtfully. "I really wish we could have her at the Hall; you and your mom too, of course. But I just don't see how it would be possible—or how wonderful it would be!"
Molly felt as if a visit to the Hall under such circumstances would be altogether so different an affair to all her former ones, that she could hardly tell if she should like it or not.
Molly felt like visiting the Hall under these circumstances would be completely different from all her previous visits, and she could hardly tell if she would enjoy it or not.
Roger went on,—
Roger continued,—
"You got our flowers in time, did you not? Ah! you don't know how often I thought of you that evening! And you enjoyed it too, didn't you?—you had plenty of agreeable partners, and all that makes a first ball delightful? I heard that your sister danced every dance."
"You got our flowers on time, right? Ah! You have no idea how many times I thought of you that evening! And you enjoyed it too, didn’t you?—you had plenty of nice partners, and everything that makes a first ball enjoyable? I heard your sister danced every dance."
"It was very pleasant," said Molly, quietly. "But, after all, I'm not sure if I want to go to another just yet; there seems to be so much trouble connected with a ball."
"It was really nice," Molly said softly. "But, honestly, I'm not sure if I want to go to another one just yet; it seems like there’s a lot of hassle involved with a ball."
"Ah! you are thinking of your sister, and her not being well?"
"Ah! you're worried about your sister and that she's not feeling well?"
"No, I was not," said Molly, rather bluntly. "I was thinking of the dress, and the dressing, and the weariness the next day."
"No, I wasn't," Molly said, rather bluntly. "I was thinking about the dress, the getting ready, and the exhaustion the next day."
He might think her unfeeling if he liked; she felt as if she had only too much feeling just then, for it was bringing on her a strange contraction of heart. But he was too inherently good himself to put any harsh construction on her speech. Just before he went away, while he was ostensibly holding her hand and wishing her good-by, he said to her in a voice too low to be generally heard,—
He might consider her cold if he wanted to; she felt like she had way too many emotions at that moment, as it made her heart feel strangely tight. But he was too good of a person to misinterpret her words. Just before he left, while he was pretending to hold her hand and say goodbye, he said to her in a voice too low to be generally heard—
"Is there anything I could do for your sister? We have plenty of books, as you know, if she cares for reading." Then, receiving no affirmative look or word from Molly in reply to this suggestion, he went on,—"Or flowers? she likes flowers. Oh! and our forced strawberries are just ready—I will bring some over to-morrow."
"Is there anything I can do for your sister? We have a lot of books, as you know, if she likes reading." Then, seeing no positive response from Molly to this suggestion, he continued, "Or flowers? She likes flowers. Oh! And our forced strawberries are ready—I’ll bring some over tomorrow."
"I am sure she will like them," said Molly.
"I’m sure she’ll like them," said Molly.
For some reason or other, unknown to the Gibsons, a longer interval than usual occurred between Osborne's visits, while Roger came almost every day, always with some fresh offering by which he openly sought to relieve Cynthia's indisposition as far as it lay in his power. Her manner to him was so gentle and gracious that Mrs. Gibson became alarmed, lest, in spite of his "uncouthness" (as she was pleased to term it), he might come to be preferred to Osborne, who was so strangely neglecting his own interests, in Mrs. Gibson's opinion. In her quiet way, she contrived to pass many slights upon Roger; but the darts rebounded from his generous nature that could not have imagined her motives, and fastened themselves on Molly. She had often been called naughty and passionate when she was a child; and she thought now that she began to understand that she really had a violent temper. What seemed neither to hurt Roger nor annoy Cynthia made Molly's blood boil; and now she had once discovered Mrs. Gibson's wish to make Roger's visits shorter and less frequent, she was always on the watch for indications of this desire. She read her stepmother's heart when the latter made allusions to the Squire's loneliness, now that Osborne was absent from the Hall, and that Roger was so often away amongst his friends during the day,—
For some unknown reason, the Gibsons noticed that there was a longer gap than usual between Osborne's visits, while Roger came almost every day, always bringing something new to help ease Cynthia's discomfort as much as he could. Her attitude towards him was so kind and warm that Mrs. Gibson grew worried that, despite his "awkwardness" (as she liked to call it), he might be favored over Osborne, who was strangely neglecting his own interests in Mrs. Gibson's view. In her subtle way, she found many opportunities to undermine Roger; however, her jabs had no effect on his generous nature, which couldn't fathom her intentions, and instead, they targeted Molly. As a child, she had often been labeled naughty and emotional, and now she was starting to realize that she truly did have a fierce temper. What didn’t seem to bother Roger or annoy Cynthia made Molly furious; and now that she had caught on to Mrs. Gibson's wish to make Roger's visits shorter and less frequent, she was always on the lookout for signs of this intention. She could sense her stepmother's feelings when the latter hinted at the Squire's loneliness, now that Osborne was away from the Hall, and that Roger was often out with his friends during the day,—
"Mr. Gibson and I should be so delighted if you could have stopped to dinner; but, of course, we cannot be so selfish as to ask you to stay when we remember how your father would be left alone. We were saying yesterday we wondered how he bore his solitude, poor old gentleman!"
"Mr. Gibson and I would be so happy if you could have joined us for dinner; but, of course, we can't be so selfish as to ask you to stay when we think about how your father would be left alone. We were saying yesterday that we wondered how he manages his solitude, poor old man!"
Or, as soon as Roger came with his bunch of early roses, it was desirable for Cynthia to go and rest in her own room, while Molly had to accompany Mrs. Gibson on some improvised errand or call. Still Roger, whose object was to give pleasure to Cynthia, and who had, from his boyhood, been always certain of Mr. Gibson's friendly regard, was slow to perceive that he was not wanted. If he did not see Cynthia, that was his loss; at any rate, he heard how she was, and left her some little thing which he believed she would like, and was willing to risk the chance of his own gratification by calling four or five times in the hope of seeing her once. At last there came a day when Mrs. Gibson went beyond her usual negative snubbiness, and when, in some unwonted fit of crossness, for she was a very placid-tempered person in general, she was guilty of positive rudeness.
Or, as soon as Roger arrived with his bunch of early roses, it was best for Cynthia to go and rest in her own room, while Molly had to go with Mrs. Gibson on some spontaneous errand or visit. Still, Roger, who aimed to make Cynthia happy and had always been sure of Mr. Gibson's friendly feelings since his childhood, was slow to realize that he wasn’t wanted. If he didn't see Cynthia, that was his loss; at least he heard how she was doing and left her a little something he believed she would like, willing to take the chance of his own disappointment by calling four or five times in hopes of seeing her once. Finally, there came a day when Mrs. Gibson went beyond her usual dismissive attitude, and during an unusual moment of irritability—since she was generally a very calm person—she was outright rude.
Cynthia was very much better. Tonics had ministered to a mind diseased, though she hated to acknowledge it; her pretty bloom and much of her light-heartedness had come back, and there was no cause remaining for anxiety. Mrs. Gibson was sitting at her embroidery in the drawing-room, and the two girls were at the window, Cynthia laughing at Molly's earnest endeavours to imitate the French accent in which the former had been reading a page of Voltaire. For the duty, or the farce, of settling to "improving reading" in the mornings was still kept up, although Lord Hollingford, the unconscious suggestor of the idea, had gone back to town without making any of the efforts to see Molly again that Mrs. Gibson had anticipated on the night of the ball. That Alnaschar vision had fallen to the ground. It was as yet early morning; a delicious, fresh, lovely June day, the air redolent with the scents of flower-growth and bloom; and half the time the girls had been ostensibly employed in the French reading they had been leaning out of the open window trying to reach a cluster of climbing roses. They had secured them at last, and the buds lay on Cynthia's lap, but many of the petals had fallen off; so, though the perfume lingered about the window-seat, the full beauty of the flowers had passed away. Mrs. Gibson had once or twice reproved them for the merry noise they were making, which hindered her in the business of counting the stitches in her pattern; and she had set herself a certain quantity to do that morning before going out, and was of that nature which attaches infinite importance to fulfilling small resolutions, made about indifferent trifles without any reason whatever.
Cynthia was feeling much better. The tonics had worked wonders on her troubled mind, even if she hated to admit it; her lovely glow and much of her cheerful spirit had returned, and there was no reason left for worry. Mrs. Gibson was working on her embroidery in the living room, and the two girls were at the window, with Cynthia laughing at Molly's serious attempts to mimic the French accent that she had been using while reading a page of Voltaire. The routine of engaging in "improving reading" each morning was still in place, even though Lord Hollingford, the unknowing mastermind behind the idea, had gone back to town without making any efforts to see Molly again since that night at the ball, which Mrs. Gibson had expected. That fantasy had faded away. It was still early morning; a beautiful, fresh June day, with the air filled with the scents of flowers in bloom; and for half the time they had supposedly been lost in French reading, the girls had actually been leaning out of the open window trying to grab a bunch of climbing roses. They finally managed to get them, and the buds rested on Cynthia's lap, but many of the petals had fallen off; so, although the sweet smell lingered around the window seat, the flowers' full beauty was gone. Mrs. Gibson had occasionally scolded them for the joyful noise they were making, which distracted her while counting the stitches in her pattern; she had set herself a certain amount to complete that morning before going out, and she was the type who placed great importance on sticking to small resolutions made about trivial things for no particular reason.
"Mr. Roger Hamley," was announced. "So tiresome!" said Mrs. Gibson, almost in his hearing, as she pushed away her embroidery frame. She put out her cold, motionless hand to him, with a half-murmured word of welcome, still eyeing her lost embroidery. He took no apparent notice, and passed on to the window.
"Mr. Roger Hamley," was announced. "So annoying!" said Mrs. Gibson, almost loud enough for him to hear, as she pushed aside her embroidery frame. She extended her cold, stiff hand to him with a half-hearted welcome, still glancing at her lost embroidery. He showed no obvious reaction and moved on to the window.
"How delicious!" said he. "No need for any more Hamley roses now yours are out."
"How tasty!" he said. "No need for any more Hamley roses now that yours are here."
"I agree with you," said Mrs. Gibson, replying to him before either Cynthia or Molly could speak, though he addressed his words to them. "You have been very kind in bringing us flowers so long; but now our own are out we need not trouble you any more."
"I agree with you," Mrs. Gibson said, responding to him before either Cynthia or Molly could say anything, even though he was talking to them. "You've been really thoughtful in bringing us flowers for so long; but now that our own are blooming, we don't need to bother you anymore."
He looked at her with a little surprise clouding his honest face; it was perhaps more at the tone than the words. Mrs. Gibson, however, had been bold enough to strike the first blow, and she determined to go on as opportunity offered. Molly would perhaps have been more pained if she had not seen Cynthia's colour rise. She waited for her to speak, if need were; for she knew that Roger's defence, if defence were required, might be safely entrusted to Cynthia's ready wit.
He looked at her with a bit of surprise on his honest face; it seemed more about her tone than her words. Mrs. Gibson, however, had been bold enough to make the first move, and she decided to continue as the chance arose. Molly might have felt more hurt if she hadn’t noticed Cynthia's cheeks flushing. She waited for her to say something, if necessary; she knew that Cynthia's quick thinking could handle Roger's defense, if a defense was needed.
He put out his hand for the shattered cluster of roses that lay in Cynthia's lap.
He reached out for the broken bunch of roses that were resting in Cynthia's lap.
"At any rate," said he, "my trouble—if Mrs. Gibson considers it has been a trouble to me—will be over-paid, if I may have this."
"Anyway," he said, "my trouble—if Mrs. Gibson thinks it has been a trouble for me—will be worth it, if I can have this."
"Old lamps for new," said Cynthia, smiling as she gave it to him. "I wish one could always buy nosegays such as you have brought us, as cheaply."
"Old lamps for new," Cynthia said with a smile as she handed it to him. "I wish we could always buy bouquets like the ones you brought us for such a low price."
"You forget the waste of time that, I think, we must reckon as part of the payment," said her mother. "Really, Mr. Hamley, we must learn to shut our doors on you if you come so often, and at such early hours! I settle myself to my own employment regularly after breakfast till lunch-time; and it is my wish to keep Cynthia and Molly to a course of improving reading and study—so desirable for young people of their age, if they are ever to become intelligent, companionable women; but with early visitors it is quite impossible to observe any regularity of habits."
"You forget the time we waste, which I think we have to consider as part of the cost," her mother said. "Honestly, Mr. Hamley, we need to start shutting our door on you if you keep coming over so often and at such early hours! I settle down to my work right after breakfast until lunchtime, and I want to keep Cynthia and Molly focused on some enriching reading and study—it's so important for young people their age if they want to grow into intelligent, social women. But with early visitors, it’s totally impossible to maintain any routine."
All this was said in that sweet, false tone which of late had gone through Molly like the scraping of a slate-pencil on a slate. Roger's face changed. His ruddy colour grew paler for a moment, and he looked grave and not pleased. In another moment the wonted frankness of expression returned. Why should not he, he asked himself, believe her? It was early to call; it did interrupt regular occupation. So he spoke, and said,—
All this was said in that sweet, insincere tone that had lately affected Molly like nails on a chalkboard. Roger’s expression changed. His usually rosy complexion faded for a moment, and he looked serious and displeased. But soon his familiar openness came back. Why shouldn't he believe her? It was early to visit; it did disrupt his usual activities. So he spoke and said,—
"I believe I have been very thoughtless—I'll not come so early again; but I had some excuse to-day: my brother told me you had made a plan for going to see Hurst Wood when the roses were out, and they are earlier than usual this year—I've been round to see. He spoke of a long day there, going before lunch—"
"I realize I've been quite inconsiderate—I won't come this early again; but I had a reason today: my brother mentioned you had planned to visit Hurst Wood when the roses are blooming, and they’re blooming earlier than usual this year—I went to check. He talked about spending a long day there, going before lunch
"The plan was made with Mr. Osborne Hamley. I could not think of going without him!" said Mrs. Gibson, coldly.
"The plan was made with Mr. Osborne Hamley. I couldn't imagine going without him!" said Mrs. Gibson, coldly.
"I had a letter from him this morning, in which he named your wish, and he says he fears he cannot be at home till they are out of flower. I daresay they are not much to see in reality, but the day is so lovely I thought that the plan of going to Hurst Wood would be a charming excuse for being out of doors."
"I got a letter from him this morning where he mentioned your wish, and he said he worries he can’t be home until they're out of bloom. I’m sure they don’t look like much in reality, but since the day is so beautiful, I thought going to Hurst Wood would be a lovely excuse to be outside."
"Thank you. How kind you are! and so good, too, in sacrificing your natural desire to be with your father as much as possible."
"Thank you. How kind you are! And so good, too, for sacrificing your natural desire to be with your dad as much as you can."
"I'm glad to say my father is so much better than he was in the winter that he spends much of his time out of doors in his fields. He has been accustomed to go about alone, and I—we think that as great a return to his former habits as he can be induced to make is the best for him."
"I'm happy to say my dad is way better than he was in the winter, and he now spends a lot of time outside in his fields. He's used to going around by himself, and we think that getting him back to his old routines as much as possible is the best thing for him."
"And when do you return to Cambridge?"
"And when are you coming back to Cambridge?"
There was some hesitation in Roger's manner as he replied,—
There was a bit of hesitation in Roger's manner as he replied,—
"It is uncertain. You probably know that I am a Fellow of Trinity now. I hardly yet know what my future plans may be; I am thinking of going up to London soon."
"It’s uncertain. You probably know that I’m a Fellow of Trinity now. I still don’t really know what my future plans might be; I’m thinking of heading up to London soon."
"Ah! London is the true place for a young man," said Mrs. Gibson, with decision, as if she had reflected a good deal on the question. "If it were not that we really are so busy this morning, I should have been tempted to make an exception to our general rule; one more exception, for your early visits have made us make too many already. Perhaps, however, we may see you again before you go?"
"Ah! London is the perfect place for a young man," Mrs. Gibson said firmly, as if she had thought about it quite a bit. "If it weren't for the fact that we're really busy this morning, I would have been tempted to break our usual rule; just one more exception, since your early visits have already made us break it too many times. But perhaps we can see you again before you leave?"
"Certainly I shall come," replied he, rising to take his leave, and still holding the demolished roses in his hand. Then, addressing himself more especially to Cynthia, he added, "My stay in London will not exceed a fortnight or so—is there anything I can do for you—or you?" turning a little to Molly.
"Of course I'll come," he replied, getting up to say goodbye while still holding the crushed roses in his hand. Then, focusing more on Cynthia, he added, "I won't be in London for more than about two weeks—can I do anything for you—or for you?" he said, glancing at Molly.
"No, thank you very much," said Cynthia, very sweetly, and then, acting on a sudden impulse, she leant out of the window, and gathered him some half-opened roses. "You deserve these; do throw that poor shabby bunch away."
"No, thank you so much," said Cynthia, very sweetly, and then, acting on a sudden impulse, she leaned out of the window and picked him some half-opened roses. "You deserve these; please toss that poor, shabby bunch away."
His eyes brightened, his cheeks glowed. He took the offered buds, but did not throw away the other bunch.
His eyes lit up, his cheeks flushed. He accepted the offered buds but didn't discard the other bunch.
"At any rate, I may come after lunch is over, and the afternoons and evenings will be the most delicious time of day a month hence." He said this to both Molly and Cynthia, but in his heart he addressed it to the latter.
"Anyway, I might come after lunch is done, and the afternoons and evenings will be the best time of day a month from now." He said this to both Molly and Cynthia, but in his heart, he was really speaking to the latter.
Mrs. Gibson affected not to hear what he was saying, but held out her limp hand once more to him.
Mrs. Gibson pretended not to hear what he was saying, but extended her limp hand to him again.
"I suppose we shall see you when you return; and pray tell your brother how we are longing to have a visit from him again."
"I guess we'll see you when you get back; and please tell your brother how much we’re looking forward to his visit again."
When he had left the room, Molly's heart was quite full. She had watched his face, and read something of his feelings: his disappointment at their non-acquiescence in his plan of a day's pleasure in Hurst Wood, the delayed conviction that his presence was not welcome to the wife of his old friend, which had come so slowly upon him—perhaps, after all, these things touched Molly more keenly than they did him. His bright look when Cynthia gave him the rose-buds indicated a gush of sudden delight more vivid than the pain he had shown by his previous increase of gravity.
When he left the room, Molly's heart was heavy. She had studied his expression and sensed some of his feelings: his disappointment that they hadn’t agreed to his plan for a day of fun in Hurst Wood, the slow realization that his presence wasn’t welcome to his old friend’s wife, which had hit him gradually. Perhaps, after all, these things affected Molly more deeply than they did him. His bright smile when Cynthia handed him the rosebuds showed a burst of joy that was more intense than the sadness he had displayed before with his growing seriousness.
"I can't think why he will come at such untimely hours," said Mrs. Gibson, as soon as she heard him fairly out of the house. "It's different from Osborne; we are so much more intimate with him: he came and made friends with us all the time this stupid brother of his was muddling his brains with mathematics at Cambridge. Fellow of Trinity, indeed! I wish he would learn to stay there, and not come intruding here, and assuming that because I asked Osborne to join in a picnic it was all the same to me which brother came."
"I can't understand why he comes at such odd hours," said Mrs. Gibson as soon as she heard him leave the house. "It's not the same with Osborne; we're much closer to him. He would come and hang out with us while his annoying brother was busy cramming for his math exams at Cambridge. A Fellow of Trinity, really! I wish he would just stay there and not barge in here, acting like it makes no difference to me which brother comes just because I invited Osborne to a picnic."
"In short, mamma, one man may steal a horse, but another must not look over the hedge," said Cynthia, pouting a little.
"In short, Mom, one guy can steal a horse, but another guy can't even look over the fence," said Cynthia, pouting a bit.
"And the two brothers have always been treated so exactly alike by their friends, and there has been such a strong friendship between them, that it is no wonder Roger thinks he may be welcome where Osborne is allowed to come at all hours," continued Molly, in high dudgeon. "Roger's 'muddled brains,' indeed! Roger, 'stupid!'"
"And the two brothers have always been treated exactly the same by their friends, and they’ve had such a strong bond that it’s no surprise Roger thinks he can join Osborne whenever he wants," continued Molly, clearly upset. "Roger's 'confused mind,' really! Roger, 'dumb!'"
"Oh, very well, my dears! When I was young it wouldn't have been thought becoming for girls of your age to fly out because a little restraint was exercised as to the hours at which they should receive the young men's calls. And they would have supposed that there might be good reasons why their parents disapproved of the visits of certain gentlemen, even while they were proud and pleased to see some members of the same family."
"Oh, all right, my dears! When I was younger, it wouldn’t have been proper for girls your age to react so strongly if their parents set some limits on the hours for receiving visits from young men. They would have understood that there could be good reasons for their parents to disapprove of certain gentlemen's visits, even if they were proud and happy to see some members of the same family."
"But that was what I said, mamma," said Cynthia, looking at her mother with an expression of innocent bewilderment on her face. "One man may—"
"But that's what I said, Mom," said Cynthia, looking at her mother with a look of innocent confusion on her face. "One guy may—
"Be quiet, child! All proverbs are vulgar, and I do believe that is the vulgarest of all. You are really catching Roger Hamley's coarseness, Cynthia!"
"Be quiet, kid! All proverbs are crude, and I honestly think that's the crudest of them all. You're really picking up Roger Hamley's roughness, Cynthia!"
"Mamma," said Cynthia, roused to anger, "I don't mind your abusing me, but Mr. Roger Hamley has been very kind to me while I've not been well: I can't bear to hear him disparaged. If he's coarse, I've no objection to be coarse as well, for it seems to me it must mean kindliness and pleasantness, and the bringing of pretty flowers and presents."
"Mama," Cynthia said, angered, "I don't care if you criticize me, but Mr. Roger Hamley has been really kind to me while I've been unwell: I can't stand hearing him put down. If he’s rough around the edges, I don’t mind being rough too because it seems to me that it means being kind and cheerful, and bringing lovely flowers and gifts."
Molly's tears were brimming over at these words; she could have kissed Cynthia for her warm partisanship, but, afraid of betraying emotion, and "making a scene," as Mrs. Gibson called any signs of warm feeling, she laid down her book hastily, and ran upstairs to her room, and locked the door in order to breathe freely. There were traces of tears upon her face when she returned into the drawing-room half-an-hour afterwards, walking straight and demurely up to her former place, where Cynthia still sate and gazed idly out of the window, pouting and displeased; Mrs. Gibson, meanwhile, counting her stitches aloud with great distinctness and vigour.
Molly's eyes were filled with tears at those words; she could have kissed Cynthia for her supportive attitude, but, worried about showing too much emotion and "making a scene," as Mrs. Gibson referred to any display of feelings, she quickly put down her book, ran upstairs to her room, and locked the door to catch her breath. There were traces of tears on her face when she returned to the drawing-room half an hour later, walking straight and quietly back to her previous spot, where Cynthia still sat, staring idly out the window, looking sulky and unhappy; Mrs. Gibson, in the meantime, was counting her stitches aloud with great clarity and enthusiasm.
CHAPTER XXIX.
BUSH-FIGHTING.
During all the months that had elapsed since Mrs. Hamley's death, Molly had wondered many a time about the secret she had so unwittingly become possessed of that last day in the Hall library. It seemed so utterly strange and unheard-of a thing to her inexperienced mind, that a man should be married, and yet not live with his wife—that a son should have entered into the holy state of matrimony without his father's knowledge, and without being recognized as the husband of some one known or unknown by all those with whom he came in daily contact, that she felt occasionally as if that little ten minutes of revelation must have been a vision in a dream. Roger had only slightly referred to it once, and Osborne had kept entire silence on the subject ever since. Not even a look, or a pause, betrayed any allusion to it; it even seemed to have passed out of their thoughts. There had been the great sad event of their mother's death to fill their minds on the next occasion of their meeting Molly; and since then long pauses of intercourse had taken place; so that she sometimes felt as if both the brothers must have forgotten how she had come to know their important secret. She even found herself often entirely forgetting it, but perhaps the consciousness of it was present to her unawares, and enabled her to comprehend the real nature of Osborne's feelings towards Cynthia. At any rate, she never for a moment had supposed that his gentle kind manner towards Cynthia was anything but the courtesy of a friend. Strange to say, in these latter days Molly had looked upon Osborne's relation to herself as pretty much the same as that in which at one time she had regarded Roger's; and she thought of the former as of some one as nearly a brother both to Cynthia and herself, as any young man could well be, whom they had not known in childhood, and who was in nowise related to them. She thought that he was very much improved in manner, and probably in character, by his mother's death. He was no longer sarcastic, or fastidious, or vain, or self-confident. She did not know how often all these styles of talk or of behaviour were put on to conceal shyness or consciousness, and to veil the real self from strangers.
During all the months that had passed since Mrs. Hamley's death, Molly often wondered about the secret she had unknowingly discovered that last day in the Hall library. It seemed so completely strange and unbelievable to her inexperienced mind that a man could be married but not live with his wife—that a son could enter into marriage without his father's knowledge and without being recognized as someone's husband by the people he interacted with daily. She sometimes felt as if those brief ten minutes of revelation must have been a dream. Roger had only mentioned it briefly once, and Osborne had stayed completely silent about it ever since. Not even a glance or a pause hinted at it; it seemed to have faded from their minds. The sadness of their mother's death had occupied their thoughts the next time they met Molly, and since then, there had been long stretches of silence between them, making her feel like both brothers must have forgotten how she came to know their important secret. She often found herself forgetting it entirely, but perhaps the awareness of it lingered in her subconscious, allowing her to understand the true nature of Osborne's feelings toward Cynthia. At any rate, she never believed for a moment that his gentle, kind manner toward Cynthia was anything other than the courtesy of a friend. Oddly enough, in recent days, Molly had come to see Osborne's relationship with her as similar to the way she once viewed Roger's; she thought of him as someone nearly like a brother to both Cynthia and herself, as close as any young man could be who they hadn’t known as children and who was not related to them. She felt he had improved in demeanor and probably in character since his mother's death. He was no longer sarcastic, picky, vain, or overly self-confident. She didn’t realize how often these types of talk or behavior were just masks to hide shyness or self-awareness, concealing the real person from strangers.
Osborne's conversation and ways might very possibly have been just the same as before, had he been thrown amongst new people; but Molly only saw him in their own circle in which he was on terms of decided intimacy. Still there was no doubt that he was really improved, though perhaps not to the extent for which Molly gave him credit; and this exaggeration on her part arose very naturally from the fact, that he, perceiving Roger's warm admiration for Cynthia, withdrew a little out of his brother's way; and used to go and talk to Molly in order not to intrude himself between Roger and Cynthia. Of the two, perhaps, Osborne preferred Molly; to her he needed not to talk if the mood was not on him—they were on those happy terms where silence is permissible, and where efforts to act against the prevailing mood of the mind are not required. Sometimes, indeed, when Osborne was in the humour to be critical and fastidious as of yore, he used to vex Roger by insisting upon it that Molly was prettier than Cynthia.
Osborne's conversation and behavior might have been just the same as before if he had been around new people; but Molly only saw him in their own group, where he was definitely close. Still, there was no doubt that he had genuinely improved, though perhaps not as much as Molly believed. This exaggeration on her part came naturally because, noticing Roger's strong admiration for Cynthia, he stepped back a little from his brother and would talk to Molly instead, so as not to interrupt the connection between Roger and Cynthia. Of the two, Osborne might have preferred Molly; with her, he didn't need to talk if he wasn't in the mood—they had that comfortable relationship where silence was okay, and there was no pressure to change how they felt. Sometimes, when Osborne felt like being critical and picky like before, he would annoy Roger by insisting that Molly was prettier than Cynthia.
"You mark my words, Roger. Five years hence the beautiful Cynthia's red and white will have become just a little coarse, and her figure will have thickened, while Molly's will only have developed into more perfect grace. I don't believe the girl has done growing yet; I'm sure she's taller than when I first saw her last summer."
"You take my word for it, Roger. In five years, the lovely Cynthia's red and white will have become a bit rough around the edges, and her figure will have filled out, while Molly's will have transformed into even more perfect elegance. I don’t think the girl has stopped growing yet; I’m sure she’s taller than she was when I first saw her last summer."
"Miss Kirkpatrick's eyes must always be perfection. I cannot fancy any could come up to them: soft, grave, appealing, tender; and such a heavenly colour—I often try to find something in nature to compare them to; they are not like violets—that blue in the eyes is too like physical weakness of sight; they are not like the sky—that colour has something of cruelty in it."
"Miss Kirkpatrick's eyes are always perfect. I can't imagine anything can match them: soft, serious, inviting, gentle; and such a beautiful color—I often try to find something in nature to compare them to; they aren't like violets—this blue in eyes seems too much like a physical weakness of sight; they aren't like the sky— that color has a hint of cruelty to it."
"Come, don't go on trying to match her eyes as if you were a draper, and they a bit of ribbon; say at once 'her eyes are load-stars,' and have done with it! I set up Molly's grey eyes and curling black lashes, long odds above the other young woman's; but, of course, it's all a matter of taste."
"Come on, stop trying to compare her eyes like you’re picking out fabric; just say 'her eyes are like bright stars' and be done with it! I think Molly's gray eyes and curly black lashes are way better than that other woman’s; but, of course, it's all about personal preference."
And now both Osborne and Roger had left the neighbourhood. In spite of all that Mrs. Gibson had said about Roger's visits being ill-timed and intrusive, she began to feel as if they had been a very pleasant variety, now that they had ceased altogether. He brought in a whiff of a new atmosphere from that of Hollingford. He and his brother had been always ready to do numberless little things which only a man can do for women; small services which Mr. Gibson was always too busy to render. For the good doctor's business grew upon him. He thought that this increase was owing to his greater skill and experience, and he would probably have been mortified if he could have known how many of his patients were solely biassed in sending for him, by the fact that he was employed at the Towers. Something of this sort must have been contemplated in the low scale of payment adopted long ago by the Cumnor family. Of itself the money he received for going to the Towers would hardly have paid him for horse-flesh, but then, as Lady Cumnor in her younger days had worded it,—
And now both Osborne and Roger were gone from the neighborhood. Despite everything Mrs. Gibson had said about Roger's visits being poorly timed and intrusive, she started to feel like they had been a nice change, now that they were completely gone. He brought in a breath of fresh air compared to the atmosphere of Hollingford. He and his brother were always willing to help with countless little tasks that only a man can do for women—small favors that Mr. Gibson was always too busy to provide. The good doctor's practice was growing busier. He believed this growth was due to his increased skill and experience, and he would probably have been embarrassed if he had known how many of his patients only called for him because he worked at the Towers. Something like this must have been considered when the Cumnor family set the low payment rate so long ago. The money he got for going to the Towers wouldn’t have even covered the cost of horse feed, but then again, as Lady Cumnor had put it in her younger days,—
"It is such a thing for a man just setting up in practice for himself to be able to say he attends at this house!"
"It’s quite something for a guy just starting his own practice to be able to say he’s visiting this house!"
So the prestige was tacitly sold and paid for; but neither buyer nor seller defined the nature of the bargain.
So the prestige was quietly sold and paid for; but neither the buyer nor the seller explained the nature of the deal.
On the whole, it was as well that Mr. Gibson spent so much of his time from home. He sometimes thought so himself when he heard his wife's plaintive fret or pretty babble over totally indifferent things, and perceived of how flimsy a nature were all her fine sentiments. Still, he did not allow himself to repine over the step he had taken; he wilfully shut his eyes and waxed up his ears to many small things that he knew would have irritated him if he had attended to them; and, in his solitary rides, he forced himself to dwell on the positive advantages that had accrued to him and his through his marriage. He had obtained an unexceptionable chaperone, if not a tender mother, for his little girl; a skilful manager of his previous disorderly household; a woman who was graceful and pleasant to look at for the head of his table. Moreover, Cynthia reckoned for something on the favourable side of the balance. She was a capital companion for Molly; and the two were evidently very fond of each other. The feminine companionship of the mother and daughter was agreeable to him as well as to his child,—when Mrs. Gibson was moderately sensible and not over-sentimental, he mentally added; and then he checked himself, for he would not allow himself to become more aware of her faults and foibles by defining them. At any rate, she was harmless, and wonderfully just to Molly for a stepmother. She piqued herself upon this indeed, and would often call attention to the fact of her being unlike other women in this respect. Just then sudden tears came into Mr. Gibson's eyes, as he remembered how quiet and undemonstrative his little Molly had become in her general behaviour to him; but how once or twice, when they had met upon the stairs, or were otherwise unwitnessed, she had caught him and kissed him—hand or cheek—in a sad passionateness of affection. But in a moment he began to whistle an old Scotch air he had heard in his childhood, and which had never recurred to his memory since; and five minutes afterwards he was too busily treating a case of white swelling in the knee of a little boy, and thinking how to relieve the poor mother, who went out charring all day, and had to listen to the moans of her child all night, to have any thought for his own cares, which, if they really existed, were of so trifling a nature compared to the hard reality of this hopeless woe.
Overall, it was a good thing that Mr. Gibson spent so much time away from home. He sometimes felt this way himself when he heard his wife's whiny complaints or light chatter about things that didn’t matter at all, and realized how shallow all her lofty feelings were. Still, he didn’t let himself dwell on the choice he made; he purposely ignored many little things that he knew would annoy him if he paid attention to them. During his lonely rides, he focused on the positive benefits that had come from his marriage. He had secured a reliable chaperone, if not a caring mother, for his little girl; a skilled organizer for his previously chaotic household; and a woman who was attractive and pleasant to have at the head of his table. Plus, Cynthia weighed positively in his favor. She was a great companion for Molly, and the two were clearly very fond of each other. The female companionship of mother and daughter was enjoyable for him as well as for his child—when Mrs. Gibson was reasonably sensible and not overly sentimental, he thought to himself; then he stopped that line of thinking because he didn’t want to focus on her flaws by pinning them down. At least she was harmless and treated Molly quite fairly for a stepmother. She made a point of this and often highlighted how she was different from other women in that regard. Just then, tears unexpectedly came to Mr. Gibson's eyes as he remembered how quiet and reserved his little Molly had become in her interactions with him; yet how, once or twice, when they had crossed paths on the stairs or were alone, she had grabbed him and kissed him—hand or cheek—with a deep affection. But in a moment, he started to whistle an old Scottish tune he had learned in his childhood, one that hadn’t crossed his mind in years; and five minutes later, he was too busy treating a case of white swelling in a little boy's knee, thinking about how to help the poor mother who worked as a cleaner all day and had to listen to her child's cries all night, to worry about his own troubles, which, if they even existed, were so insignificant compared to the harsh reality of this heartbreaking distress.
Osborne came home first. He returned, in fact, not long after Roger had gone away; but he was languid and unwell, and, though he did not complain, he felt unequal to any exertion. Thus a week or more elapsed before any of the Gibsons knew that he was at the Hall; and then it was only by chance that they became aware of it. Mr. Gibson met him in one of the lanes near Hamley; the acute surgeon noticed the gait of the man as he came near, before he recognized who it was. When he overtook him he said,—
Osborne got home first. He actually returned not long after Roger left, but he looked tired and unwell. Even though he didn’t complain, he felt unable to do anything. As a result, a week or more passed before any of the Gibsons realized he was at the Hall, and it was only by chance that they found out. Mr. Gibson saw him in one of the lanes near Hamley; the sharp-eyed surgeon noticed the way the man walked as he approached before he recognized who it was. When he caught up to him, he said,—
"Why, Osborne, is it you? I thought it was an old man of fifty loitering before me! I didn't know you had come back."
"Is that you, Osborne? I thought it was an old man in his fifties standing in front of me! I had no idea you were back."
"Yes," said Osborne, "I've been at home nearly ten days. I daresay I ought to have called on your people, for I made a half promise to Mrs. Gibson to let her know as soon as I returned; but the fact is, I'm feeling very good-for-nothing,—this air oppresses me; I could hardly breathe in the house, and yet I'm already tired with this short walk."
"Yes," Osborne said, "I've been home for almost ten days. I guess I should have visited your family since I half-promised Mrs. Gibson I’d let her know as soon as I got back; but the truth is, I’m feeling really sluggish—this air is stifling; I could barely breathe in the house, and now I’m already worn out from this short walk."
"You'd better get home at once; and I'll call and see you as I come back from Rowe's."
"You should head home right away; I'll stop by and see you when I come back from Rowe's."
"No, you mustn't on any account!" said Osborne, hastily; "my father is annoyed enough about my going from home, so often, he says, though I hadn't been from it for six weeks. He puts down all my languor to my having been away,—he keeps the purse-strings, you know," he added, with a faint smile, "and I'm in the unlucky position of a penniless heir, and I've been brought up so—In fact, I must leave home from time to time, and, if my father gets confirmed in this notion of his that my health is worse for my absences, he'll stop the supplies altogether."
"No, you absolutely can’t!" said Osborne quickly. "My father is already annoyed enough about how often I leave home, even though I haven’t been away for six weeks. He blames all my tiredness on my time away—he controls the money, you know," he added with a weak smile, "and I'm stuck in the unfortunate position of a broke heir, having been raised that way. Honestly, I need to leave home every now and then, and if my father becomes convinced that my health suffers from being away, he’ll cut me off completely."
"May I ask where you do spend your time when you are not at Hamley Hall?" asked Mr. Gibson, with some hesitation in his manner.
"Can I ask where you spend your time when you're not at Hamley Hall?" Mr. Gibson inquired, a bit hesitantly.
"No!" replied Osborne, reluctantly. "I will tell you this:—I stay with friends in the country. I lead a life which ought to be conducive to health, because it is thoroughly simple, rational, and happy. And now I've told you more about it than my father himself knows. He never asks me where I've been; and I shouldn't tell him if he did—at least, I think not."
"No!" Osborne replied, hesitantly. "I'll tell you this: I’m staying with friends in the country. I live a life that should be good for my health because it's completely simple, sensible, and happy. And now I've shared more about it than my dad even knows. He never asks where I’ve been, and I wouldn’t tell him if he did—at least, I don’t think I would."
Mr. Gibson rode on by Osborne's side, not speaking for a moment or two.
Mr. Gibson rode alongside Osborne, not saying anything for a moment or two.
"Osborne, whatever scrapes you may have got into, I should advise your telling your father boldly out. I know him; and I know he'll be angry enough at first, but he'll come round, take my word for it; and, somehow or another, he'll find money to pay your debts and set you free, if it's that kind of difficulty; and if it's any other kind of entanglement, why still he's your best friend. It's this estrangement from your father that's telling on your health, I'll be bound."
"Osborne, no matter what trouble you’ve gotten into, I really think you should just tell your dad straight up. I know him well, and he'll be upset at first, but he’ll come around, trust me. Somehow, he’ll figure out a way to get money to pay off your debts and help you out if that’s the problem; and if it’s something else, he’s still your best ally. This distance between you and your dad is affecting your health, I’m sure of it."
"No," said Osborne, "I beg your pardon; but it's not that; I am really out of order. I daresay my unwillingness to encounter any displeasure from my father is the consequence of my indisposition; but I'll answer for it, it is not the cause of it. My instinct tells me there is something really the matter with me."
"No," said Osborne, "I’m sorry, but that’s not it; I’m genuinely not feeling well. I suppose my reluctance to face any disappointment from my father is a result of how I'm feeling; however, I assure you, it’s not the reason for it. My instincts tell me that something is truly wrong with me."
"Come, don't be setting up your instinct against the profession," said Mr. Gibson, cheerily.
"Come on, don't let your instincts get in the way of your career," said Mr. Gibson, cheerfully.
He dismounted, and throwing the reins of his horse round his arm, he looked at Osborne's tongue and felt his pulse, asking him various questions. At the end he said,—
He got off his horse, wrapped the reins around his arm, and checked Osborne's tongue and pulse, asking him several questions. In the end, he said, —
"We'll soon bring you about, though I should like a little more quiet talk with you, without this tugging brute for a third. If you'll manage to ride over and lunch with us to-morrow, Dr. Nicholls will be with us; he's coming over to see old Rowe; and you shall have the benefit of the advice of two doctors instead of one. Go home now, you've had enough exercise for the middle of a day as hot as this is. And don't mope in the house, listening to the maunderings of your stupid instinct."
"We'll get you sorted out soon, but I'd prefer to have a little more quiet time with you, without this annoying third wheel. If you can ride over and have lunch with us tomorrow, Dr. Nicholls will be with us; he's coming to check on old Rowe, and you'll get the benefit of advice from two doctors instead of just one. Go home now; you've had enough exercise for a hot day like this. And don’t sulk in the house, listening to your silly thoughts."
"What else have I to do?" said Osborne. "My father and I are not companions; one can't read and write for ever, especially when there's no end to be gained by it. I don't mind telling you—but in confidence, recollect—that I've been trying to get some of my poems published; but there's no one like a publisher for taking the conceit out of one. Not a man among them would have them as a gift."
"What else am I supposed to do?" said Osborne. "My father and I aren't close; you can't read and write forever, especially when there's no goal to achieve. I don't mind sharing this with you—but keep it to yourself, okay?—I've been trying to get some of my poems published; but there's no one like a publisher to deflate your ego. Not a single one of them would accept them even for free."
"Oho! so that's it, is it, Master Osborne? I thought there was some mental cause for this depression of health. I wouldn't trouble my head about it, if I were you, though that's always very easily said, I know. Try your hand at prose, if you can't manage to please the publishers with poetry; but, at any rate, don't go on fretting over spilt milk. But I mustn't lose my time here. Come over to us to-morrow, as I said; and what with the wisdom of two doctors, and the wit and folly of three women, I think we shall cheer you up a bit."
"Oho! So that's how it is, Master Osborne? I thought there might be some mental reason behind your health issues. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you, though that's easy to say, I know. Try writing prose if you can't impress the publishers with your poetry; but, either way, don't keep stressing over things that can't be changed. But I can't waste any more time here. Come over to our place tomorrow, like I said; with the advice of two doctors and the humor and chaos of three women, I think we can lift your spirits a bit."
So saying, Mr. Gibson remounted, and rode away at the long, slinging trot so well known to the country people as the doctor's pace.
So saying, Mr. Gibson got back on his horse and rode away at the long, easy trot familiar to the locals as the doctor's pace.
"I don't like his looks," thought Mr. Gibson to himself at night, as over his daybooks he reviewed the events of the day. "And then his pulse. But how often we're all mistaken; and, ten to one, my own hidden enemy lies closer to me than his does to him—even taking the worse view of the case."
"I don't like the way he looks," Mr. Gibson thought to himself at night as he went over the day's events in his journals. "And then there's his pulse. But how often we’re all wrong; and, more likely than not, my own hidden enemy is closer to me than his is to him—even if I take the worst-case scenario."
Osborne made his appearance a considerable time before luncheon the next morning; and no one objected to the earliness of his call. He was feeling better. There were few signs of the invalid about him; and what few there were disappeared under the bright pleasant influence of such a welcome as he received from all. Molly and Cynthia had much to tell him of the small proceedings since he went away, or to relate the conclusions of half-accomplished projects. Cynthia was often on the point of some gay, careless inquiry as to where he had been, and what he had been doing; but Molly, who conjectured the truth, as often interfered to spare him the pain of equivocation—a pain that her tender conscience would have felt for him, much more than he would have felt it for himself.
Osborne showed up quite a while before lunch the next morning, and no one minded his early visit. He was feeling better. There were hardly any signs of him being unwell, and the few that remained faded away in the bright, friendly atmosphere of the warm welcome he received from everyone. Molly and Cynthia had a lot to share about the little things that had happened since he left or to discuss the outcomes of partially completed projects. Cynthia often nearly asked him a lighthearted, casual question about where he had been and what he had been up to, but Molly, who guessed the truth, frequently stepped in to spare him the discomfort of having to dodge the question—a discomfort that her sensitive conscience would have felt for him much more than he would have felt for himself.
Mrs. Gibson's talk was desultory, complimentary, and sentimental, after her usual fashion; but still, on the whole, though Osborne smiled to himself at much that she said, it was soothing and agreeable. Presently, Dr. Nicholls and Mr. Gibson came in; the former had had some conference with the latter on the subject of Osborne's health; and, from time to time, the skilful old physician's sharp and observant eyes gave a comprehensive look at Osborne.
Mrs. Gibson's conversation was random, flattering, and sentimental, just like usual; but still, overall, even though Osborne smirked at a lot of what she said, it was calming and pleasant. Soon, Dr. Nicholls and Mr. Gibson walked in; the former had talked to the latter about Osborne's health; and every now and then, the experienced old doctor's keen and observant eyes took a thorough look at Osborne.
Then there was lunch, when every one was merry and hungry, excepting the hostess, who was trying to train her midday appetite into the genteelest of all ways, and thought (falsely enough) that Dr. Nicholls was a good person to practise the semblance of ill-health upon, and that he would give her the proper civil amount of commiseration for her ailments, which every guest ought to bestow upon a hostess who complains of her delicacy of health. The old doctor was too cunning a man to fall into this trap. He would keep recommending her to try the coarsest viands on the table; and, at last, he told her if she could not fancy the cold beef to try a little with pickled onions. There was a twinkle in his eye as he said this, that would have betrayed his humour to any observer; but Mr. Gibson, Cynthia, and Molly were all attacking Osborne on the subject of some literary preference he had expressed, and Dr. Nicholls had Mrs. Gibson quite at his mercy. She was not sorry when luncheon was over to leave the room to the three gentlemen; and ever afterwards she spoke of Dr. Nicholls as "that bear."
Then it was time for lunch, when everyone was cheerful and hungry, except for the hostess, who was trying to manage her midday appetite in the most refined way possible. She thought (wrongly) that Dr. Nicholls would be a good person to play up her lack of health to, believing he would show her the right amount of sympathy for her complaints, which every guest should offer to a hostess who talks about her fragile health. But the old doctor was too smart to fall for this. He kept suggesting she try the heartiest dishes on the table, and finally told her that if she didn't like the cold beef, she might enjoy it with pickled onions. There was a glint in his eye that would have given away his humor to anyone watching, but Mr. Gibson, Cynthia, and Molly were all busy questioning Osborne about some literary preference he had mentioned, leaving Dr. Nicholls with Mrs. Gibson completely under his control. She felt relieved when lunch ended, allowing her to leave the room to the three gentlemen; from then on, she referred to Dr. Nicholls as "that bear."
Presently, Osborne came upstairs, and, after his old fashion, began to take up new books, and to question the girls as to their music. Mrs. Gibson had to go out and pay some calls, so she left the three together; and after a while they adjourned into the garden, Osborne lounging on a chair, while Molly employed herself busily in tying up carnations, and Cynthia gathered flowers in her careless, graceful way.
Osborne came upstairs and, as he usually did, started picking up new books and asking the girls about their music. Mrs. Gibson had to go out to make some visits, so she left the three of them together. After a while, they moved into the garden, with Osborne lounging in a chair, while Molly worked busily tying up carnations and Cynthia casually collected flowers in her graceful way.
"I hope you notice the difference in our occupations, Mr. Hamley. Molly, you see, devotes herself to the useful, and I to the ornamental. Please, under what head do you class what you are doing? I think you might help one of us, instead of looking on like the Grand Seigneur."
"I hope you see the difference in our jobs, Mr. Hamley. Molly, as you can see, focuses on practical things, while I focus on the artistic. So, how would you categorize what you're doing? I think you could assist one of us instead of just observing like a high and mighty lord."
"I don't know what I can do," said he, rather plaintively. "I should like to be useful, but I don't know how; and my day is past for purely ornamental work. You must let me be, I'm afraid. Besides, I'm really rather exhausted by being questioned and pulled about by those good doctors."
"I don't know what I can do," he said, sounding quite sad. "I want to be helpful, but I just don't know how; and my time for just looking pretty is over. You have to let me be, I'm afraid. Plus, I'm honestly pretty worn out from being questioned and fussed over by those well-meaning doctors."
"Why, you don't mean to say they have been attacking you since lunch!" exclaimed Molly.
"Wait, you can't be serious that they've been attacking you since lunch!" exclaimed Molly.
"Yes; indeed, they have; and they might have gone on till now if Mrs. Gibson had not come in opportunely."
"Yes, they really have; and they could have continued until now if Mrs. Gibson hadn't shown up just in time."
"I thought mamma had gone out some time ago!" said Cynthia, catching wafts of the conversation as she flitted hither and thither among the flowers.
"I thought Mom had left a while back!" said Cynthia, catching snippets of the conversation as she moved around among the flowers.
"She came into the dining-room not five minutes ago. Do you want her, for I see her crossing the hall at this very moment?" and Osborne half rose.
"She just walked into the dining room a few minutes ago. Do you want her? I see her walking across the hall right now," and Osborne half stood up.
"Oh, not at all!" said Cynthia. "Only she seemed to be in such a hurry to go out, I fancied she had set off long ago. She had some errand to do for Lady Cumnor, and she thought she could manage to catch the housekeeper, who is always in the town on Thursday."
"Oh, not at all!" said Cynthia. "It's just that she seemed to be in such a hurry to leave that I thought she must have left a while ago. She had some task to do for Lady Cumnor, and she figured she could catch the housekeeper, who's always in town on Thursdays."
"Are the family coming to the Towers this autumn?"
"Is the family coming to the Towers this fall?"
"I believe so. But I don't know, and I don't much care. They don't take kindly to me," continued Cynthia, "and so I suppose I'm not generous enough to take kindly to them."
"I think so. But I’m not sure, and I don't really care. They’re not very welcoming to me," Cynthia went on, "so I guess I'm not nice enough to be welcoming to them."
"I should have thought that such a very unusual blot in their discrimination would have interested you in them as extraordinary people," said Osborne, with a little air of conscious gallantry.
"I figured that such a rare flaw in their judgment would have made you see them as exceptional people," Osborne said, with a hint of self-aware charm.
"Isn't that a compliment?" said Cynthia, after a pause of mock meditation. "If any one pays me a compliment, please let it be short and clear. I'm very stupid at finding out hidden meanings."
"Isn't that a compliment?" Cynthia said after a brief pause of pretending to think. "If anyone gives me a compliment, please keep it short and straightforward. I'm really bad at figuring out hidden meanings."
"Then such speeches as 'you are very pretty,' or 'you have charming manners,' are what you prefer. Now, I pique myself on wrapping up my sugar-plums delicately."
"Then compliments like 'you're really pretty' or 'you have lovely manners' are what you prefer. Well, I take pride in presenting my treats with finesse."
"Then would you please to write them down, and at my leisure I'll parse them."
"Then could you please write them down, and I'll go through them when I have some free time."
"No! It would be too much trouble. I'll meet you half-way, and study clearness next time."
"No! That would be too much hassle. I'll compromise and we can focus on clarity next time."
"What are you two talking about?" said Molly, resting on her light spade.
"What are you guys talking about?" Molly asked, leaning on her light spade.
"It's only a discussion on the best way of administering compliments," said Cynthia, taking up her flower-basket again, but not going out of the reach of the conversation.
"It's just a conversation about the best way to give compliments," said Cynthia, picking up her flower basket again but staying within earshot of the conversation.
"I don't like them at all in any way," said Molly. "But, perhaps, it's rather sour grapes with me," she added.
"I don't like them at all," said Molly. "But maybe I'm just being bitter about it," she added.
"Nonsense!" said Osborne. "Shall I tell you what I heard of you at the ball?"
"Nonsense!" Osborne said. "Should I tell you what I heard about you at the ball?"
"Or shall I provoke Mr. Preston," said Cynthia, "to begin upon you? It's like turning a tap, such a stream of pretty speeches flows out at the moment." Her lip curled with scorn.
"Or should I get Mr. Preston riled up," Cynthia said, "to start on you? It's like turning on a faucet; a whole bunch of sweet words just pours out right now." She curled her lip in disdain.
"For you, perhaps," said Molly; "but not for me."
"For you, maybe," Molly said, "but not for me."
"For any woman. It's his notion of making himself agreeable. If you dare me, Molly, I'll try the experiment, and you'll see with what success."
"For any woman. It’s his idea of being charming. If you challenge me, Molly, I’ll give it a shot, and you’ll see how well it goes."
"No, don't, pray!" said Molly, in a hurry. "I do so dislike him!"
"No, please don't!" said Molly quickly. "I really dislike him!"
"Why?" said Osborne, roused to a little curiosity by her vehemence.
"Why?" Osborne asked, a bit curious about her intensity.
"Oh! I don't know. He never seems to know what one is feeling."
"Oh! I don't know. He never really seems to understand how someone feels."
"He wouldn't care if he did know," said Cynthia. "And he might know he is not wanted."
"He wouldn't care even if he did know," Cynthia said. "And he might know that he's not wanted."
"If he chooses to stay, he cares little whether he is wanted or not."
"If he decides to stay, he doesn't really care if he's wanted or not."
"Come, this is very interesting," said Osborne. "It is like the strophe and anti-strophe in a Greek chorus. Pray, go on."
"Come on, this is really interesting," said Osborne. "It’s like the strophe and anti-strophe in a Greek chorus. Please, continue."
"Don't you know him?" asked Molly.
"Don't you know him?" asked Molly.
"Yes, by sight, and I think we were once introduced. But, you know, we are much farther from Ashcombe, at Hamley, than you are here, at Hollingford."
"Yeah, I recognize you, and I think we were introduced before. But, you know, we're a lot farther from Ashcombe, over in Hamley, than you are right here in Hollingford."
"Oh! but he's coming to take Mr. Sheepshanks' place, and then he'll live here altogether," said Molly.
"Oh! But he's coming to take Mr. Sheepshanks' spot, and then he'll live here full-time," said Molly.
"Molly! who told you that?" said Cynthia, in quite a different tone of voice from that in which she had been speaking hitherto.
"Molly! Who told you that?" Cynthia asked, in a tone quite different from the one she had been using until now.
"Papa,—didn't you hear him? Oh, no! it was before you were down this morning. Papa met Mr. Sheepshanks yesterday, and he told him it was all settled: you know we heard a rumour about it in the spring!"
"Papa, didn’t you hear him? Oh, no! That was before you got up this morning. Papa ran into Mr. Sheepshanks yesterday, and he said it was all sorted out: you know we heard a rumor about it back in the spring!"
Cynthia was very silent after this. Presently, she said that she had gathered all the flowers she wanted, and that the heat was so great she would go indoors. And then Osborne went away. But Molly had set herself a task to dig up such roots as had already flowered, and to put down some bedding-out plants in their stead. Tired and heated as she was she finished it, and then went upstairs to rest, and change her dress. According to her wont, she sought for Cynthia; there was no reply to her soft knock at the bedroom-door opposite to her own, and, thinking that Cynthia might have fallen asleep, and be lying uncovered in the draught of the open window, she went in softly. Cynthia was lying upon the bed as if she had thrown herself down on it without caring for the ease or comfort of her position. She was very still; and Molly took a shawl, and was going to place it over her, when she opened her eyes, and spoke,—
Cynthia was very quiet after that. Eventually, she said she'd picked all the flowers she wanted and that it was so hot she was going inside. Then Osborne left. But Molly had decided to dig up the roots of the flowers that had already bloomed and replace them with some bedding plants. Even though she was tired and hot, she finished the task and went upstairs to rest and change her dress. As was her habit, she looked for Cynthia; there was no answer to her gentle knock on the bedroom door across from her own, and thinking that Cynthia might have fallen asleep and be lying uncovered in the draft from the open window, she quietly entered. Cynthia was lying on the bed as if she had just collapsed without caring about her comfort. She was very still, and just as Molly was about to drape a shawl over her, Cynthia opened her eyes and spoke,—
"Is that you, dear? Don't go. I like to know that you are there."
"Is that you, babe? Don’t go. I like knowing you’re here."
She shut her eyes again, and remained quite quiet for a few minutes longer. Then she started up into a sitting posture, pushed her hair away from her forehead and burning eyes, and gazed intently at Molly.
She closed her eyes again and stayed completely still for a few more minutes. Then she jumped up into a sitting position, brushed her hair off her forehead and burning eyes, and stared intently at Molly.
"Do you know what I've been thinking, dear?" said she. "I think I've been long enough here, and that I had better go out as a governess."
"Do you know what I’ve been thinking, dear?" she said. "I think I’ve been here long enough, and it’s time for me to go out and be a governess."
"Cynthia! what do you mean?" asked Molly, aghast. "You've been asleep—you've been dreaming. You're over-tired," continued she, sitting down on the bed, and taking Cynthia's passive hand, and stroking it softly—a mode of caressing that had come down to her from her mother—whether as an hereditary instinct, or as a lingering remembrance of the tender ways of the dead woman, Mr. Gibson often wondered within himself when he observed it.
"Cynthia! What do you mean?" Molly asked, shocked. "You've been sleeping—you were dreaming. You're just really tired," she added, sitting down on the bed, taking Cynthia's limp hand, and stroking it gently— a way of showing affection that had been passed down to her from her mother. Mr. Gibson often wondered to himself whether it was an inherited instinct or a lasting memory of the gentle ways of the woman who had passed away.
"Oh, how good you are, Molly! I wonder, if I had been brought up like you, whether I should have been as good. But I've been tossed about so."
"Oh, you’re so kind, Molly! I wonder, if I had been raised like you, would I be as good? But I've been through so much."
"Then, don't go and be tossed about any more," said Molly, softly.
"Then, don't let yourself get tossed around anymore," Molly said softly.
"Oh, dear! I had better go. But, you see, no one ever loved me like you, and, I think, your father—doesn't he, Molly? And it's hard to be driven out."
"Oh, no! I should really get going. But you know, no one has ever loved me the way you do, and I think your dad feels the same—right, Molly? It’s tough to be pushed away."
"Cynthia, I am sure you're not well, or else you're not half awake."
"Cynthia, I’m sure you’re not feeling well, or you’re just not fully awake."
Cynthia sate with her arms encircling her knees, and looking at vacancy.
Cynthia sat with her arms wrapped around her knees, staring into space.
"Well!" said she, at last, heaving a great sigh; but, then, smiling as she caught Molly's anxious face, "I suppose there's no escaping one's doom; and anywhere else I should be much more forlorn and unprotected."
"Well!" she finally said, letting out a deep sigh; but then, smiling as she noticed Molly's worried face, "I guess there's no avoiding fate; and anywhere else I'd feel much more lost and vulnerable."
"What do you mean by your doom?"
"What do you mean by your doom?"
"Ah, that's telling, little one," said Cynthia, who seemed now to have recovered her usual manner. "I don't mean to have one, though. I think that, though I am an arrant coward at heart, I can show fight."
"Ah, that's interesting, kid," said Cynthia, who now seemed to have regained her typical demeanor. "But I don’t plan on having one. I think that even though I’m a total coward deep down, I can still stand up for myself."
"With whom?" asked Molly, really anxious to probe the mystery—if, indeed, there was one—to the bottom, in the hope of some remedy being found for the distress Cynthia was in when first Molly entered.
"With who?" asked Molly, eager to get to the bottom of the mystery—if there was one at all—hoping to find some solution for the distress Cynthia was in when Molly first arrived.
Again Cynthia was lost in thought; then, catching the echo of Molly's last words in her mind, she said,—
Again, Cynthia was lost in thought; then, catching the echo of Molly's last words in her mind, she said,—
"'With whom?'—oh! show fight with whom?—why, my doom, to be sure. Am not I a grand young lady to have a doom? Why, Molly, child, how pale and grave you look!" said she, kissing her all of a sudden. "You ought not to care so much for me; I'm not good enough for you to worry yourself about me. I've given myself up a long time ago as a heartless baggage!"
"'With whom?'—oh! who am I supposed to fight with?—why, my fate, of course. Am I not a fancy young lady to have a fate? Why, Molly, dear, you look so pale and serious!" she said, kissing her suddenly. "You shouldn't care so much about me; I'm not worth your worry. I've given myself up long ago as a heartless person!"
"Nonsense! I wish you wouldn't talk so, Cynthia!"
"Nonsense! I wish you wouldn't speak like that, Cynthia!"
"And I wish you wouldn't always take me 'at the foot of the letter,' as an English girl at school used to translate it. Oh, how hot it is! Is it never going to get cool again? My child! what dirty hands you've got, and face too; and I've been kissing you—I daresay I'm dirty with it, too. Now, isn't that like one of mamma's speeches? But, for all that, you look more like a delving Adam than a spinning Eve." This had the effect that Cynthia intended; the daintily clean Molly became conscious of her soiled condition, which she had forgotten while she had been attending to Cynthia, and she hastily withdrew to her own room. When she had gone, Cynthia noiselessly locked the door; and, taking her purse out of her desk, she began to count over her money. She counted it once—she counted it twice, as if desirous of finding out some mistake which should prove it to be more than it was; but the end of it all was a sigh.
"And I wish you wouldn't always take me so literally," like an English girl at school used to say. Oh, it's so hot! Is it ever going to cool down again? My dear! Look at your dirty hands and face; I've been kissing you—I probably got dirty from it too. Now, doesn't that sound like something Mom would say? But even so, you look more like a digging Adam than a spinning Eve." This had the effect Cynthia wanted; the tidily clean Molly realized how dirty she was, something she had forgotten while focusing on Cynthia, and she quickly went to her own room. Once she was gone, Cynthia quietly locked the door; and, taking her purse out of her desk, she started counting her money. She counted it once—she counted it twice, as if hoping to find some mistake that would show she had more than she did; but in the end, all she could do was sigh.
"What a fool!—what a fool I was!" said she, at length. "But even if I don't go out as a governess, I shall make it up in time."
"What a fool!—what a fool I was!" she finally said. "But even if I don't end up being a governess, I'll make it right eventually."
Some weeks after the time he had anticipated when he had spoken of his departure to the Gibsons, Roger returned back to the Hall. One morning when he called, Osborne told them that his brother had been at home for two or three days.
Some weeks after the time he had expected when he talked about his departure to the Gibsons, Roger came back to the Hall. One morning when he visited, Osborne informed them that his brother had been home for a couple of days.
"And why has he not come here, then?" said Mrs. Gibson. "It is not kind of him not to come and see us as soon as he can. Tell him I say so—pray do."
"And why hasn't he come here yet?" Mrs. Gibson said. "It's not nice of him to ignore us and not visit as soon as he can. Tell him I said that—please do."
Osborne had gained one or two ideas as to her treatment of Roger the last time he had called. Roger had not complained of it, or even mentioned it, till that very morning; when Osborne was on the point of starting, and had urged Roger to accompany him, the latter had told him something of what Mrs. Gibson had said. He spoke rather as if he was more amused than annoyed; but Osborne could read that he was chagrined at those restrictions placed upon calls which were the greatest pleasure of his life. Neither of them let out the suspicion which had entered both their minds—the well-grounded suspicion arising from the fact that Osborne's visits, be they paid early or late, had never yet been met with a repulse.
Osborne had picked up a few ideas about how she treated Roger during his last visit. Roger hadn’t complained or even mentioned it until that morning; as Osborne was getting ready to leave and encouraged Roger to join him, the latter shared some of what Mrs. Gibson had said. He seemed more amused than annoyed, but Osborne could tell he was frustrated by the restrictions on visits, which were the greatest joy in his life. Neither of them voiced the suspicion that had crossed both their minds—the well-founded suspicion that, regardless of whether Osborne visited early or late, he had never been turned away.
Osborne now reproached himself with having done Mrs. Gibson injustice. She was evidently a weak, but probably a disinterested, woman; and it was only a little bit of ill-temper on her part which had caused her to speak to Roger as she had done.
Osborne now criticized himself for being unfair to Mrs. Gibson. She was clearly a weak, but likely an honest, woman; and it was just a moment of frustration on her part that had led her to talk to Roger the way she did.
"I daresay it was rather impertinent of me to call at such an untimely hour," said Roger.
"I must say it was pretty rude of me to show up at such an inconvenient time," said Roger.
"Not at all; I call at all hours, and nothing is ever said about it. It was just because she was put out that morning. I'll answer for it she's sorry now, and I'm sure you may go there at any time you like in the future."
"Not at all; I show up at all hours, and no one ever mentions it. It was just that she was upset that morning. I bet she's sorry now, and I'm sure you can go there anytime you want in the future."
Still, Roger did not choose to go again for two or three weeks, and
the consequence was that the next time he called the ladies were out.
Once again he had the same ill-luck, and then he received a little
pretty three-cornered note from Mrs.
Gibson:—
Still, Roger didn’t decide to visit again for two or three weeks, and as a result, the next time he went, the ladies were out. He faced the same bad luck once more, and then he got a lovely little three-cornered note from Mrs.
Gibson:—
My dear Sir,
My dear Sir,
How is it that you are become so formal all on a sudden, leaving cards, instead of awaiting our return? Fie for shame! If you had seen the faces of disappointment that I did when the horrid little bits of pasteboard were displayed to our view, you would not have borne malice against me so long; for it is really punishing others as well as my naughty self. If you will come to-morrow—as early as you like—and lunch with us, I'll own I was cross, and acknowledge myself a penitent.—Yours ever,
How come you’ve become so formal all of a sudden, leaving cards instead of waiting for us to come back? Shame on you! If you had seen the disappointed looks on our faces when those awful little pieces of cardboard were shown to us, you wouldn’t have held a grudge against me for so long, because it’s really hurting others along with my naughty self. If you come tomorrow—whenever you want—and have lunch with us, I’ll admit I was in a bad mood and say I’m sorry.—Yours always,
Hyacinth C. K. Gibson.
Hyacinth C. K. Gibson.
There was no resisting this, even if there had not been strong inclination to back up the pretty words. Roger went, and Mrs. Gibson caressed and petted him in her sweetest, silkiest manner. Cynthia looked lovelier than ever to him for the slight restriction that had been laid for a time on their intercourse. She might be gay and sparkling with Osborne; with Roger she was soft and grave. Instinctively she knew her men. She saw that Osborne was only interested in her because of her position in a family with whom he was intimate; that his friendship was without the least touch of sentiment; and that his admiration was only the warm criticism of an artist for unusual beauty. But she felt how different Roger's relation to her was. To him she was the one, alone, peerless. If his love was prohibited, it would be long years before he could sink down into tepid friendship; and to him her personal loveliness was only one of the many charms that made him tremble into passion. Cynthia was not capable of returning such feelings; she had had too little true love in her life, and perhaps too much admiration to do so; but she appreciated this honest ardour, this loyal worship that was new to her experience. Such appreciation, and such respect for his true and affectionate nature, gave a serious tenderness to her manner to Roger, which allured him with a fresh and separate grace. Molly sate by, and wondered how it would all end, or, rather, how soon it would all end, for she thought that no girl could resist such reverent passion; and on Roger's side there could be no doubt—alas! there could be no doubt. An older spectator might have looked far ahead, and thought of the question of pounds, shillings, and pence. Where was the necessary income for a marriage to come from? Roger had his Fellowship now, it is true; but the income of that would be lost if he married; he had no profession, and the life interest of the two or three thousand pounds that he inherited from his mother, belonged to his father. This older spectator might have been a little surprised at the empressement of Mrs. Gibson's manner to a younger son, always supposing this said spectator to have read to the depths of her worldly heart. Never had she tried to be more agreeable to Osborne; and though her attempt was a great failure when practised upon Roger, and he did not know what to say in reply to the delicate flatteries which he felt to be insincere, he saw that she intended him to consider himself henceforward free of the house; and he was too glad to avail himself of this privilege to examine over-closely into what might be her motives for her change of manner. He shut his eyes, and chose to believe that she was now desirous of making up for her little burst of temper on his previous visit.
There was no way to resist this, even if there hadn't been a strong urge to support the charming words. Roger left, and Mrs. Gibson sweetly coddled him in her softest, most charming way. Cynthia looked more beautiful than ever to him due to the slight restriction that had been placed on their interactions for a while. She could be lively and sparkling with Osborne; with Roger, she was gentle and serious. She instinctively understood her men. She realized that Osborne was only interested in her because of her connection to a family he was close to; that his friendship lacked any emotional depth; and that his admiration was merely the warm critique of an artist appreciating unique beauty. But she felt how different Roger's feelings for her were. To him, she was the one, unique and incomparable. If his love was prohibited, it would take many years before he could settle into a lukewarm friendship; and to him, her physical beauty was just one of the many things that stirred his passion. Cynthia couldn't reciprocate those feelings; she had experienced too little true love in her life and perhaps too much admiration to feel that way; but she valued this genuine passion, this loyal adoration that was new to her. Such appreciation, along with her respect for his sincere and loving nature, gave her a serious tenderness towards Roger, which captivated him with a fresh and distinct charm. Molly sat nearby, wondering how it would all turn out or, more precisely, how soon it would all reach a conclusion, as she believed no girl could resist such respectful passion; and on Roger's side, there was no doubt—oh, how there was no doubt. An older observer might have thought ahead and considered the matter of money. Where would the necessary income for a marriage come from? True, Roger had his Fellowship now; but he would lose that income if he married, and he had no profession, with the life interest of the two or three thousand pounds he inherited from his mother belonging to his father. This older observer might have been a bit surprised by Mrs. Gibson's eagerness towards a younger son, assuming this observer understood her worldly heart completely. She had never tried harder to be pleasant to Osborne; and although her attempts fell flat with Roger, who didn't know how to respond to the insincere compliments, he saw that she intended for him to feel free to leave the house from now on; and he was too happy to take advantage of this opportunity to question her motives for changing her behavior. He closed his eyes and chose to believe that she wanted to make up for her previous outburst of temper during his last visit.
The result of Osborne's conference with the two doctors had been certain prescriptions which appeared to have done him much good, and which would in all probability have done him yet more, could he have been free of the recollection of the little patient wife in her solitude near Winchester. He went to her whenever he could; and, thanks to Roger, money was far more plentiful with him now than it had been. But he still shrank, and perhaps even more and more, from telling his father of his marriage. Some bodily instinct made him dread all agitation inexpressibly. If he had not had this money from Roger, he might have been compelled to tell his father all, and to ask for the necessary funds to provide for the wife and the coming child. But with enough in hand, and a secret, though remorseful, conviction that as long as Roger had a penny his brother was sure to have half of it, made him more reluctant than ever to irritate his father by a revelation of his secret. "Not just yet, not just at present," he kept saying both to Roger and to himself. "By-and-by, if we have a boy, I will call it Roger"—and then visions of poetical and romantic reconciliations brought about between father and son, through the medium of a child, the offspring of a forbidden marriage, became still more vividly possible to him, and at any rate it was a staving-off of an unpleasant thing. He atoned to himself for taking so much of Roger's Fellowship money by reflecting that, if Roger married, he would lose this source of revenue; yet Osborne was throwing no impediment in the way of this event, rather forwarding it by promoting every possible means of his brother's seeing the lady of his love. Osborne ended his reflections by convincing himself of his own generosity.
The outcome of Osborne's meeting with the two doctors had been specific prescriptions that seemed to have helped him a lot, and likely would have helped him even more if he hadn’t had to think about his lonely little wife near Winchester. He visited her whenever he could, and thanks to Roger, he had more money now than before. But he still felt anxious, and maybe even increasingly so, about telling his father about his marriage. An instinct inside him made him dread any kind of upset. If he hadn’t received money from Roger, he might have had to come clean to his father and ask for funds to take care of his wife and the baby on the way. But with enough money saved up, and a quiet but guilty belief that as long as Roger had any money, his brother would get half of it, he felt even less inclined to upset his father by revealing his secret. "Not just yet, not right now," he kept telling both Roger and himself. "Later, if we have a boy, I’ll name him Roger"—and then the idea of poetic and romantic reconciliations between father and son through the child of an unconventional marriage seemed more possible to him, and at least it delayed an uncomfortable situation. He reassured himself for taking so much of Roger's Fellowship money by reminding himself that if Roger got married, he would lose that income; yet Osborne wasn’t standing in the way of that happening, instead encouraging every opportunity for his brother to see the woman he loved. Osborne wrapped up his thoughts by convincing himself that he was being generous.
CHAPTER XXX.
OLD WAYS AND NEW WAYS.
r. Preston was
now installed in his new house at Hollingford; Mr.
Sheepshanks having entered into dignified idleness at the house of
his married daughter, who lived in the county town. His successor had
plunged with energy into all manner of improvements; and among
others, he fell to draining a piece of outlying waste and unreclaimed
land of Lord Cumnor's, which was close to Squire Hamley's
property—that very piece for which he had had the Government grant,
but which now lay neglected, and only half drained, with stacks of
mossy tiles, and lines of upturned furrows telling of abortive plans.
It was not often that the Squire rode in this direction now-a-days;
but the cottage of a man who had been the squire's gamekeeper in
those more prosperous days when the Hamleys could afford to
"preserve," was close to the rush-grown ground. This old servant and
tenant was ill, and had sent a message up to the Hall, asking to see
the Squire: not to reveal any secret, or to say anything particular,
but only from the feudal loyalty, which made it seem to the dying man
as if it would be a comfort to shake the hand, and look once more
into the eyes of the lord and master whom he had served, and whose
ancestors his own forbears had served for so many generations. And
the Squire was as fully alive as old Silas to the claims of the tie
that existed between them. Though he hated the thought, and still
more, should hate the sight of the piece of land, on the side of
which Silas's cottage stood, the Squire ordered his horse, and rode
off within half-an-hour of receiving the message. As he drew near the
spot he thought he heard the sound of tools, and the hum of many
voices, just as he used to hear them a year or two before. He
listened with surprise. Yes! Instead of the still solitude he had
expected, there was the clink of iron, the heavy gradual thud of the
fall of barrows-ful of soil—the cry and shout of labourers. But not
on his land—better worth expense and trouble by far than the reedy
clay common on which the men were, in fact, employed. He knew it was
Lord Cumnor's property; and he knew Lord Cumnor and his family had
gone up in the world ("the Whig rascals!"), both in wealth and in
station, as the Hamleys had gone down. But all the same—in spite of
long known facts, and in spite of reason—the Squire's ready anger
rose high at the sight of his neighbour doing what he had been unable
to do, and he a Whig, and his family only in the county since Queen
Anne's time. He went so far as to wonder whether they might not—the
labourers he meant—avail themselves of his tiles, lying so
conveniently close to hand. All these thoughts, regrets, and wonders
were in his mind as he rode up to the cottage he was bound to, and
gave his horse in charge to a little lad, who had hitherto found his
morning's business and amusement in playing at "houses" with a still
younger sister, with some of the Squire's neglected tiles. But he was
old Silas's grandson, and he might have battered the rude red
earthenware to pieces—a whole stack—one by one, and the Squire
would have said little or nothing. It was only that he would not
spare one to a labourer of Lord Cumnor's. No! not one.
Mr. Preston was now settled into his new house in Hollingford. Mr. Sheepshanks had retired with dignity to the home of his married daughter, who lived in the county town. His successor had energetically embarked on various improvements, including draining a piece of Lord Cumnor's undeveloped land that was near Squire Hamley's property—the very land for which he had received a government grant, but which now lay neglected, only half-drained, with stacks of mossy tiles and rows of upturned furrows indicating failed plans. The Squire didn’t often ride this way anymore; however, the cottage of a man who used to be his gamekeeper during the prosperous times when the Hamleys could afford to "preserve" was nearby, close to the overgrown ground. This old servant and tenant was ill and had sent a message to the Hall, asking to see the Squire—not to share any secrets or important news, but purely out of a sense of loyalty that made it seem comforting to him, as he faced death, to shake the hand and look again into the eyes of the lord and master he had served, whose ancestors his own family had served for generations. The Squire felt a strong sense of duty towards this bond as much as Silas did. Although he hated the thought, and even more the sight of the land where Silas’s cottage stood, the Squire ordered his horse and set off within half an hour of receiving the message. As he approached the area, he thought he heard the sound of tools and the buzz of voices, just as he used to hear a year or two earlier. He listened with surprise. Yes! Instead of the expected stillness, there was the clink of metal, the thud of barrows full of soil, and the shouts of workers. But they weren’t on his land—far more worth the expense and trouble than the marshy clay where the men were actually working. He recognized it was Lord Cumnor's property and he knew that Lord Cumnor and his family had risen in wealth and status, while the Hamleys had declined (“the Whig scoundrels!”). Yet, despite knowing these facts and logic, the Squire felt a surge of anger at seeing his neighbor accomplish what he hadn’t been able to do, all the while being a Whig, and his family had only been in the county since Queen Anne’s reign. He even wondered if the laborers might use his tiles, which were conveniently nearby. These thoughts and frustrations occupied his mind as he rode up to the cottage he was heading to and handed his horse over to a young boy, who had been amusing himself that morning playing “houses” with his even younger sister using some of the Squire’s forgotten tiles. But he was old Silas's grandson, and even if he had smashed an entire stack of the rough red earthenware, one by one, the Squire would have said little or nothing. He just couldn’t bring himself to spare even one for Lord Cumnor's laborers. No! Not a single one.
Old Silas lay in a sort of closet, opening out of the family living-room. The small window that gave it light looked right on to the "moor," as it was called; and by day the check curtain was drawn aside so that he might watch the progress of the labour. Everything about the old man was clean, if coarse; and, with Death, the leveller, so close at hand, it was the labourer who made the first advances, and put out his horny hand to the Squire.
Old Silas lay in a kind of closet that opened up from the family living room. The small window that let in light faced right towards the "moor," as it was called; and during the day, the checkered curtain was pulled aside so he could see the progress of the work. Everything about the old man was clean, though rough; and with Death, the great equalizer, so near, it was the laborer who made the first move and reached out his calloused hand to the Squire.
"I thought you'd come, Squire. Your father came for to see my father as he lay a-dying."
"I thought you'd show up, Squire. Your dad came to see my dad while he was dying."
"Come, come, my man!" said the Squire, easily affected, as he always was. "Don't talk of dying, we shall soon have you out, never fear. They've sent you up some soup from the Hall, as I bade 'em, haven't they?"
"Come on, my man!" said the Squire, easily moved, as he always was. "Don't talk about dying; we'll have you back on your feet in no time, don't worry. They sent you some soup from the Hall, like I asked them to, right?"
"Ay, ay, I've had all as I could want for to eat and to drink. The young squire and Master Roger was here yesterday."
"Yeah, yeah, I've had all I could want to eat and drink. The young squire and Master Roger were here yesterday."
"Yes, I know."
"Yeah, I know."
"But I'm a deal nearer Heaven to-day, I am. I should like you to look after th' covers in th' West Spinney, Squire; them gorse, you know, where th' old fox had her hole—her as give 'em so many a run. You'll mind it, Squire, though you was but a lad. I could laugh to think on her tricks yet." And, with a weak attempt at a laugh, he got himself into a violent fit of coughing, which alarmed the squire, who thought he would never get his breath again. His daughter-in-law came in at the sound, and told the Squire that he had these coughing-bouts very frequently, and that she thought he would go off in one of them before long. This opinion of hers was spoken simply out before the old man, who now lay gasping and exhausted upon his pillow. Poor people acknowledge the inevitableness and the approach of death in a much more straightforward manner than is customary among more educated folk. The Squire was shocked at her hard-heartedness, as he considered it; but the old man himself had received much tender kindness from his daughter-in-law; and what she had just said was no more news to him than the fact that the sun would rise to-morrow. He was more anxious to go on with his story.
"But I'm a lot closer to Heaven today, I am. I’d like you to check on the covers in the West Spinney, Squire; you know, the gorse where the old fox had her den—her that gave them so many chases. You'll remember it, Squire, even though you were just a kid. I can still laugh to think of her tricks." And with a weak attempt at laughter, he broke into a violent coughing fit, which alarmed the squire, who feared he might never catch his breath again. His daughter-in-law heard the commotion and told the Squire that he had these coughing fits quite often, and she thought he might pass away in one of them soon. She said this in front of the old man, who now lay gasping and worn out on his pillow. Poor people seem to accept the inevitability and approach of death much more openly than those from more privileged backgrounds. The Squire was shocked by what he saw as her heartlessness, but the old man himself had received a lot of kind care from his daughter-in-law; what she had just said was no more surprising to him than knowing the sun would rise tomorrow. He was more eager to continue with his story.
"Them navvies—I call 'em navvies because some on 'em is strangers, though some on 'em is th' men as was turned off your own works, squire, when there came orders to stop 'em last fall—they're a-pulling up gorse and brush to light their fire for warming up their messes. It's a long way off to their homes, and they mostly dine here; and there'll be nothing of a cover left, if you don't see after 'em. I thought I should like to tell ye afore I died. Parson's been here; but I did na tell him. He's all for the earl's folk, and he'd not ha' heeded. It's the earl as put him into his church, I reckon, for he said what a fine thing it were for to see so much employment a-given to the poor, and he never said nought o' th' sort when your works were agait, Squire."
"Them workers—I call them workers because some of them are strangers, though some of them are the men who were laid off from your own projects, sir, when orders came to stop them last fall—they're pulling up gorse and brush to light their fire to warm up their meals. It's a long way to their homes, and they usually eat here; and there won't be anything left of the cover if you don't look after them. I thought I should let you know before I die. The vicar's been here; but I didn't tell him. He's all for the earl's people, and he wouldn't have cared. It's the earl who put him in his church, I suppose, because he said what a great thing it was to see so much work being provided for the poor, and he never said anything like that when your projects were going on, Squire."
This long speech had been interrupted by many a cough and gasp for breath; and having delivered himself of what was on his mind, he turned his face to the wall, and appeared to be going to sleep. Presently he roused himself with a start:—
This long speech was interrupted by lots of coughing and gasping for breath; and after sharing what was on his mind, he turned his face to the wall and seemed to be falling asleep. Soon, he jolted himself awake with a start:—
"I know I flogged him well, I did. But he were after pheasants' eggs, and I didn't know he were an orphan. Lord, forgive me!"
"I know I gave him a good beating, I really did. But he was just after pheasant eggs, and I didn’t know he was an orphan. God, forgive me!"
"He's thinking on David Morton, the cripple, as used to go about trapping vermin," whispered the woman.
"He's thinking about David Morton, the disabled guy, who used to go around trapping pests," whispered the woman.
"Why, he died long ago—twenty year, I should think," replied the Squire.
"Well, he passed away a long time ago—about twenty years, I’d say," replied the Squire.
"Ay, but when grandfather goes off i' this way to sleep after a bout of talking he seems to be dreaming on old times. He'll not waken up yet, sir; you'd best sit down if you'd like to stay," she continued, as she went into the house-place and dusted a chair with her apron. "He was very particular in bidding me wake him if he were asleep, and you or Mr. Roger was to call. Mr. Roger said he'd be coming again this morning—but he'll likely sleep an hour or more, if he's let alone."
"Yeah, but when grandpa drifts off like this after talking so much, he seems to be dreaming about the old days. He won't wake up yet, sir; you should sit down if you want to stay," she added, as she went into the room and dusted a chair with her apron. "He was very specific about me waking him if he was asleep and you or Mr. Roger were to come. Mr. Roger said he’d be back this morning—but he’ll probably sleep for an hour or more if no one bothers him."
"I wish I'd said good-by, I should like to have done that."
"I wish I had said goodbye; I would have liked to do that."
"He drops off so sudden," said the woman. "But if you'd be better pleased to have said it, Squire, I'll waken him up a bit."
"He just drops off so suddenly," said the woman. "But if you'd prefer to have said it, Squire, I can wake him up a little."
"No, no!" the Squire called out as the woman was going to be as good as her word. "I'll come again, perhaps to-morrow. And tell him I was sorry; for I am indeed. And be sure and send to the Hall for anything you want! Mr. Roger is coming, is he? He'll bring me word how he is, later on. I should like to have bidden him good-by."
"No, no!" the Squire called out as the woman was about to keep her promise. "I'll come again, maybe tomorrow. And tell him I'm sorry; I really am. And make sure to send to the Hall for anything you need! Mr. Roger is coming, right? He'll let me know how he is later. I wish I could have said goodbye to him."
So, giving sixpence to the child who had held his horse, the Squire mounted. He sate still a moment, looking at the busy work going on before him, and then at his own half-completed drainage. It was a bitter pill. He had objected to borrowing from Government, in the first instance; and then his wife had persuaded him to the step; and after it was once taken, he was as proud as could be of the only concession to the spirit of progress he ever made in his life. He had read and studied the subject pretty thoroughly, if also very slowly, during the time his wife had been influencing him. He was tolerably well up in agriculture, if in nothing else; and at one time he had taken the lead among the neighbouring landowners, when he first began tile-drainage. In those days people used to speak of Squire Hamley's hobby; and at market ordinaries, or county dinners, they rather dreaded setting him off on long repetitions of arguments from the different pamphlets on the subject which he had read. And now the proprietors all around him were draining—draining; his interest to Government was running on all the same, though his works were stopped, and his tiles deteriorating in value. It was not a soothing consideration, and the Squire was almost ready to quarrel with his shadow. He wanted a vent for his ill-humour; and suddenly remembering the devastations on his covers, which he had heard about not a quarter of an hour before, he rode towards the men busy at work on Lord Cumnor's land. Just before he got up to them he encountered Mr. Preston, also on horseback, come to overlook his labourers. The Squire did not know him personally, but from the agent's manner of speaking, and the deference that was evidently paid to him, Mr. Hamley saw that he was a responsible person. So he addressed the agent:—"I beg your pardon, I suppose you are the manager of these works?"
So, after giving sixpence to the kid who had held his horse, the Squire got on. He sat still for a moment, watching all the busy work happening in front of him and then looking at his own unfinished drainage project. It was a tough pill to swallow. He had initially resisted borrowing from the government, but then his wife convinced him to go for it, and after he did, he felt a strange pride in this one nod to the spirit of progress he'd ever made in his life. He had read and studied the topic pretty thoroughly, though at a slow pace, while his wife was influencing him. He was fairly knowledgeable about agriculture, even if not much else; at one point, he had led the local landowners when he first started tile drainage. Back then, people talked about Squire Hamley's hobby, and at market gatherings or county dinners, they often dreaded him going off on long rants quoting various pamphlets he'd read on the subject. Now, all the landowners around him were draining their fields—draining; his investment in the government was still ongoing, even though his projects were halted and his tiles were losing value. It wasn't a comforting thought, and the Squire was practically ready to argue with his own shadow. He needed an outlet for his frustration; suddenly remembering the damage done to his covers, which he had just heard about less than fifteen minutes ago, he rode toward the workers busy on Lord Cumnor's land. Just before he reached them, he came across Mr. Preston, also on horseback, there to supervise his laborers. The Squire didn’t know him personally, but from the agent's way of speaking and the obvious respect he received, Mr. Hamley realized he was someone important. So he addressed the agent: "Excuse me, I take it you're the manager of these works?"
Mr. Preston replied,—"Certainly. I am that and many other things besides, at your service. I have succeeded Mr. Sheepshanks in the management of my lord's property. Mr. Hamley of Hamley, I believe?"
Mr. Preston replied, "Of course. I'm that and a lot more, here for you. I've taken over management of my lord's estate from Mr. Sheepshanks. You're Mr. Hamley of Hamley, right?"
The Squire bowed stiffly. He did not like his name to be asked or presumed upon in that manner. An equal might conjecture who he was, or recognize him, but, till he announced himself, an inferior had no right to do more than address him respectfully as "sir." That was the Squire's code of etiquette.
The Squire bowed rigidly. He didn’t like having his name asked for or assumed in that way. An equal might guess who he was or recognize him, but until he introduced himself, someone of lower status had no right to do anything more than address him respectfully as "sir." That was the Squire's code of conduct.
"I am Mr. Hamley of Hamley. I suppose you are as yet ignorant of the boundary of Lord Cumnor's land, and so I will inform you that my property begins at the pond yonder—just where you see the rise in the ground."
"I’m Mr. Hamley of Hamley. I guess you don’t yet know the border of Lord Cumnor’s land, so I’ll let you know that my property starts at the pond over there—right where you see the ground rise."
"I am perfectly acquainted with that fact, Mr. Hamley," said Mr. Preston, a little annoyed at the ignorance attributed to him. "But may I inquire why my attention is called to it just now?"
"I know that very well, Mr. Hamley," said Mr. Preston, feeling a bit irritated by the assumption that he didn’t. "But may I ask why you’re bringing it up now?"
The Squire was beginning to boil over; but he tried to keep his temper in. The effort was very much to be respected, for it was a great one. There was something in the handsome and well-dressed agent's tone and manner inexpressibly irritating to the squire, and it was not lessened by an involuntary comparison of the capital roadster on which Mr. Preston was mounted with his own ill-groomed and aged cob.
The Squire was starting to get really angry, but he tried to control his temper. That was impressive because it was a tough challenge. There was something about the attractive and well-dressed agent's tone and behavior that really annoyed the Squire, and it only got worse when he couldn't help but compare the beautiful horse Mr. Preston was riding to his own scruffy, old cob.
"I have been told that your men out yonder do not respect these boundaries, but are in the habit of plucking up gorse from my covers to light their fires."
"I’ve been told that your men out there don’t respect these boundaries and have a habit of pulling up gorse from my land to start their fires."
"It is possible they may!" said Mr. Preston, lifting his eyebrows, his manner being more nonchalant than his words. "I daresay they think no great harm of it. However, I'll inquire."
"It’s possible they might!" said Mr. Preston,raising his eyebrows, his tone more relaxed than his words suggested. "I bet they don't think it’s a big deal. Anyway, I’ll look into it."
"Do you doubt my word, sir?" said the Squire, fretting his mare till she began to dance about. "I tell you I've heard it only within this last half-hour."
"Do you not believe me, sir?" said the Squire, fidgeting with his mare until she started to jump around. "I’m telling you, I just heard it in the last half hour."
"I don't mean to doubt your word, Mr. Hamley; it's the last thing I should think of doing. But you must excuse my saying that the argument which you have twice brought up for the authenticity of your statement, 'that you have heard it within the last half-hour,' is not quite so forcible as to preclude the possibility of a mistake."
"I don't mean to question your word, Mr. Hamley; that’s the last thing I would think of doing. But I have to say that the point you’ve raised twice to support the truth of your claim, 'that you heard it in the last half-hour,' isn't strong enough to rule out the possibility of a mistake."
"I wish you'd only say in plain language that you doubt my word," said the Squire, clenching and slightly raising his horsewhip. "I can't make out what you mean—you use so many words."
"I wish you'd just say plainly that you doubt my word," said the Squire, tightening his grip and slightly raising his horsewhip. "I can't figure out what you mean—you use so many words."
"Pray don't lose your temper, sir. I said I should inquire. You have not seen the men pulling up gorse yourself, or you would have named it. I, surely, may doubt the correctness of your information until I have made some inquiry; at any rate, that is the course I shall pursue, and if it gives you offence, I shall be sorry, but I shall do it just the same. When I am convinced that harm has been done to your property, I shall take steps to prevent it for the future, and of course, in my lord's name, I shall pay you compensation—it may probably amount to half-a-crown." He added these last words in a lower tone, as if to himself, with a slight contemptuous smile on his face.
"Please, don't lose your temper, sir. I said I would ask around. You haven't seen the men pulling up gorse yourself, or you would have mentioned it. I’m allowed to question the accuracy of your information until I’ve done some checking; anyway, that's what I'm going to do, and if it offends you, I’m sorry, but I'm going to proceed regardless. When I'm convinced that harm has been done to your property, I'll take steps to prevent it in the future, and of course, in my lord's name, I will pay you compensation—it will probably come to about two and six. He said the last part in a lower voice, almost to himself, with a slight smirk on his face."
"Quiet, mare, quiet," said the Squire, totally unaware that he was the cause of her impatient movements by the way he was perpetually tightening her reins; and also, perhaps, he unconsciously addressed the injunction to himself.
"Easy, girl, easy," said the Squire, completely oblivious to the fact that his constant tightening of her reins was making her restless; he might also have been unintentionally reminding himself to calm down.
Neither of them saw Roger Hamley, who was just then approaching them with long, steady steps. He had seen his father from the door of old Silas's cottage, and, as the poor fellow was still asleep, he was coming to speak to his father, and was near enough now to hear the next words.
Neither of them noticed Roger Hamley, who was walking toward them with long, steady strides. He had spotted his father from the door of old Silas's cottage, and since the poor guy was still asleep, he was coming over to talk to his dad, getting close enough now to hear the next words.
"I don't know who you are, but I've known land-agents who were gentlemen, and I've known some who were not. You belong to this last set, young man," said the squire, "that you do. I should like to try my horsewhip on you for your insolence."
"I don't know who you are, but I've known land agents who were gentlemen, and I've known some who weren't. You definitely belong to the latter group, young man," said the squire, "and I would love to use my horsewhip on you for your disrespect."
"Pray, Mr. Hamley," replied Mr. Preston, coolly, "curb your temper a little, and reflect. I really feel sorry to see a man of your age in such a passion:"—moving a little farther off, however, but really more with a desire to save the irritated man from carrying his threat into execution, out of a dislike to the slander and excitement it would cause, than from any personal dread. Just at this moment Roger Hamley came close up. He was panting a little, and his eyes were very stern and dark; but he spoke quietly enough.
"Please, Mr. Hamley," Mr. Preston replied coolly, "calm down a bit and think. I genuinely feel sorry to see someone your age so angry." He moved a bit farther away, but it was more to prevent the upset man from acting on his threat, as he didn't want the gossip and turmoil it would create, rather than out of personal fear. Just then, Roger Hamley approached. He was breathing heavily, his eyes intense and dark, but he spoke in a calm manner.
"Mr. Preston, I can hardly understand what you mean by your last words. But, remember, my father is a gentleman of age and position, and not accustomed to receive advice as to the management of his temper from young men like you."
"Mr. Preston, I can barely grasp what you meant by your last comments. But remember, my father is an esteemed gentleman of age and status, and he’s not used to taking advice on managing his temper from young men like you."
"I desired him to keep his men off my land," said the Squire to his son—his wish to stand well in Roger's opinion restraining his temper a little; but though his words might be a little calmer, there were all other signs of passion present—the discoloured complexion, the trembling hands, the fiery cloud in his eyes. "He refused, and doubted my word."
"I wanted him to keep his men off my land," said the Squire to his son—his desire to be seen favorably by Roger holding back his temper a bit; but even though his words were somewhat calmer, all the other signs of anger were evident—the flushed face, the shaking hands, the fiery look in his eyes. "He refused and questioned my word."
Mr. Preston turned to Roger, as if appealing from Philip drunk to Philip sober, and spoke in a tone of cool explanation, which, though not insolent in words, was excessively irritating in manner.
Mr. Preston turned to Roger, as if he were appealing from a drunk Philip to a sober one, and spoke in a calm, explanatory tone that, while not rude in words, was incredibly annoying in delivery.
"Your father has misunderstood me—perhaps it is no wonder," trying to convey, by a look of intelligence at the son, his opinion that the father was in no state to hear reason. "I never refused to do what was just and right. I only required further evidence as to the past wrong-doing; your father took offence at this," and then he shrugged his shoulders, and lifted his eyebrows in a manner he had formerly learnt in France.
"Your dad has misunderstood me—maybe that's not surprising," he said, giving the son a knowing look, implying that the father wasn't really in the right frame of mind to understand. "I never turned down doing what was fair and right. I just needed more proof about the past wrongs; your dad got upset about that," and then he shrugged and raised his eyebrows in a way he had picked up in France.
"At any rate, sir! I can scarcely reconcile the manner and words to my father, which I heard you use when I first came up, with the deference you ought to have shown to a man of his age and position. As to the fact of the trespass—"
"Anyway, sir! I can hardly match the way you spoke to my father when I first arrived with the respect you should have given to a man of his age and status. Regarding the fact of the trespass—
"They are pulling up all the gorse, Roger—there'll be no cover whatever for game soon," put in the Squire.
"They're ripping up all the gorse, Roger—there won't be any cover for the wildlife soon," added the Squire.
Roger bowed to his father, but took up his speech at the point it was at before the interruption.
Roger bowed to his father, but continued his speech from where he left off before the interruption.
"I will inquire into it myself at a cooler moment; and if I find that such trespass or damage has been committed, of course I shall expect that you will see it put a stop to. Come, father! I am going to see old Silas—perhaps you don't know that he is very ill." So he endeavoured to wile the Squire away to prevent further words. He was not entirely successful.
"I'll look into it myself when things have calmed down a bit, and if I find out that any trespass or damage has happened, I expect you to put a stop to it. Come on, Dad! I'm going to see old Silas—maybe you don’t know that he’s very sick." So he tried to distract the Squire to avoid more conversation. He wasn't completely successful.
Mr. Preston was enraged by Roger's calm and dignified manner, and threw after them this parting shaft, in the shape of a loud soliloquy,—
Mr. Preston was furious about Roger's calm and dignified attitude, and he hurled this parting insult at them in the form of a loud monologue—
"Position, indeed! What are we to think of the position of a man who begins works like these without counting the cost, and comes to a stand-still, and has to turn off his labourers just at the beginning of winter, leaving—"
"Position, really! What are we supposed to think about someone who starts projects like these without considering the costs, ends up stuck, and has to let go of his workers right at the start of winter, heading out—
They were too far off to hear the rest. The Squire was on the point of turning back before this, but Roger took hold of the reins of the old mare, and led her over some of the boggy ground, as if to guide her into sure footing, but, in reality, because he was determined to prevent the renewal of the quarrel. It was well that the cob knew him, and was, indeed, old enough to prefer quietness to dancing; for Mr. Hamley plucked hard at the reins, and at last broke out with an oath,—"Damn it, Roger! I'm not a child; I won't be treated as such. Leave go, I say!"
They were too far away to catch the rest. The Squire was about to turn back, but Roger grabbed the reins of the old mare and led her over some of the muddy ground, pretending to guide her to solid footing, but really he was determined to stop the argument from starting up again. Luckily, the mare recognized him and, being old enough, preferred a quiet ride over bouncing around; because Mr. Hamley yanked hard on the reins and finally exploded with, "Damn it, Roger! I'm not a kid; I won’t be treated like one. Let go, I said!"
Roger let go; they were now on firm ground, and he did not wish any watchers to think that he was exercising any constraint over his father; and this quiet obedience to his impatient commands did more to soothe the Squire than anything else could have effected just then.
Roger let go; they were now on solid ground, and he didn’t want anyone watching to think he was controlling his father; this calm obedience to his eager commands did more to ease the Squire than anything else could have at that moment.
"I know I turned them off—what could I do? I'd no more money for their weekly wages; it's a loss to me, as you know. He doesn't know, no one knows, but I think your mother would, how it cut me to turn 'em off just before winter set in. I lay awake many a night thinking of it, and I gave them what I had—I did, indeed. I hadn't got money to pay 'em, but I had three barren cows fattened, and gave every scrap of meat to the men, and I let 'em go into the woods and gather what was fallen, and I winked at their breaking off old branches, and now to have it cast up against me by that cur—that servant. But I'll go on with the works, by ——, I will, if only to spite him. I'll show him who I am. My position, indeed! A Hamley of Hamley takes a higher position than his master. I'll go on with the works, see if I don't! I'm paying between one and two hundred a year interest on Government money. I'll raise some more if I go to the Jews; Osborne has shown me the way, and Osborne shall pay for it—he shall. I'll not put up with insults. You shouldn't have stopped me, Roger! I wish to heaven I'd horsewhipped the fellow!"
"I know I turned them off—what could I do? I had no more money for their weekly wages; it's a loss for me, as you know. He doesn't know, no one knows, but I think your mother would understand how hard it was for me to let them go just before winter. I lay awake many nights thinking about it, and I gave them what I could—I really did. I didn't have money to pay them, but I had three barren cows that I fattened up, and I gave every bit of meat to the men. I let them go into the woods to gather what they could find, and I turned a blind eye to them breaking off old branches. And now to have it thrown back in my face by that jerk—that servant. But I’ll keep going with the work, by —— I will, if only to spite him. I'll show him who I am. My position, indeed! A Hamley of Hamley holds a higher position than his master. I'll continue with the work, just watch! I'm paying between one and two hundred a year in interest on Government money. I'll raise more if I have to borrow from the Jews; Osborne has shown me how, and Osborne will pay for it—he will. I won’t put up with insults. You shouldn't have stopped me, Roger! I wish to heaven I’d horsewhipped the guy!"
He was lashing himself again into an impotent rage, painful to a son to witness; but just then the little grandchild of old Silas, who had held the Squire's horse during his visit to the sick man, came running up, breathless:
He was getting himself worked up into a useless rage, which was painful for a son to see; but just then, the little grandchild of old Silas, who had held the Squire's horse during his visit to the sick man, came running up, breathless:
"Please, sir, please, squire, mammy has sent me; grandfather has wakened up sudden, and mammy says he's dying, and would you please come; she says he'd take it as a kind compliment, she's sure."
"Please, sir, please, squire, Mom sent me; Grandpa has suddenly woken up, and Mom says he's dying, and would you please come; she says he would appreciate it, she's sure."
So they went to the cottage, the Squire speaking never a word, but suddenly feeling as if lifted out of a whirlwind and set down in a still and awful place.
So they went to the cottage, the Squire saying nothing, but suddenly feeling as if he had been pulled out of a whirlwind and placed in a quiet and terrifying place.
CHAPTER XXXI.
A PASSIVE COQUETTE.
It is not to be supposed that such an encounter as Mr. Preston had just had with Roger Hamley sweetened the regards in which the two young men henceforward held each other. They had barely spoken to one another before, and but seldom met; for the land-agent's employment had hitherto lain at Ashcombe, some sixteen or seventeen miles from Hamley. He was older than Roger by several years; but during the time he had been in the county Osborne and Roger had been at school and at college. Mr. Preston was prepared to dislike the Hamleys for many unreasonable reasons. Cynthia and Molly had both spoken of the brothers with familiar regard, implying considerable intimacy; their flowers had been preferred to his on the occasion of the ball; most people spoke well of them; and Mr. Preston had an animal's instinctive jealousy and combativeness against all popular young men. Their "position"—poor as the Hamleys might be—was far higher than his own in the county; and, moreover, he was agent to the great Whig lord, whose political interests were diametrically opposed to those of the old Tory squire. Not that Lord Cumnor troubled himself much about his political interests. His family had obtained property and title from the Whigs at the time of the Hanoverian succession; and so, traditionally, he was a Whig, and had belonged in his youth to Whig clubs, where he had lost considerable sums of money to Whig gamblers. All this was satisfactory and consistent enough. And if Lord Hollingford had not been returned for the county on the Whig interest—as his father had been before him, until he had succeeded to the title—it is quite probable Lord Cumnor would have considered the British constitution in danger, and the patriotism of his ancestors ungratefully ignored. But, excepting at elections, he had no notion of making Whig and Tory a party cry. He had lived too much in London, and was of too sociable a nature, to exclude any man who jumped with his humour from the hospitality he was always ready to offer, be the agreeable acquaintance Whig, Tory, or Radical. But in the county of which he was lord-lieutenant, the old party distinction was still a shibboleth by which men were tested as to their fitness for social intercourse, as well as on the hustings. If by any chance a Whig found himself at a Tory dinner-table—or vice versâ—the food was hard of digestion, and wine and viands were criticized rather than enjoyed. A marriage between the young people of the separate parties was almost as unheard-of and prohibited an alliance as that of Romeo and Juliet's. And of course Mr. Preston was not a man in whose breast such prejudices would die away. They were an excitement to him for one thing, and called out all his talent for intrigue on behalf of the party to which he was allied. Moreover, he considered it as loyalty to his employer to "scatter his enemies" by any means in his power. He had always hated and despised the Tories in general; and after that interview on the marshy common in front of Silas's cottage, he hated the Hamleys and Roger especially, with a very choice and particular hatred. "That prig," as hereafter he always designated Roger—"he shall pay for it yet," he said to himself by way of consolation, after the father and son had left him. "What a lout it is!"—watching the receding figures, "The old chap has twice as much spunk," as the Squire tugged at his bridle reins. "The old mare could make her way better without being led, my fine fellow. But I see through your dodge. You're afraid of your old father turning back and getting into another rage. Position indeed! a beggarly squire—a man who did turn off his men just before winter, to rot or starve, for all he cared—it's just like a brutal old Tory." And, under the cover of sympathy with the dismissed labourers, Mr. Preston indulged his own private pique very pleasantly.
It shouldn't be assumed that Mr. Preston's recent encounter with Roger Hamley improved the way the two young men viewed each other from that point on. They had hardly spoken before and rarely crossed paths, as the land agent's work had mostly kept him at Ashcombe, about sixteen or seventeen miles away from Hamley. He was several years older than Roger, but during the time he had been in the county, Osborne and Roger had been busy with school and college. Mr. Preston was ready to dislike the Hamleys for many unreasonable reasons. Cynthia and Molly had both talked about the brothers with a familiarity that suggested they were quite close; their flowers had been favored over his at the ball; most people had positive things to say about them; and Mr. Preston had a primal jealousy and competitiveness against any popular young men. Their "status"—even though the Hamleys were poor—was much higher than his own in the county; and on top of that, he worked for a prominent Whig lord, whose political views were completely opposed to those of the old Tory squire. Not that Lord Cumnor paid much attention to his political interests. His family had received land and title from the Whigs during the Hanoverian succession, so he was traditionally a Whig and had belonged to Whig clubs in his youth, where he had lost significant sums to Whig gamblers. All this was pretty satisfying and made sense. And if Lord Hollingford hadn't been elected for the county on the Whig side—as his father had been until he inherited the title—it's very likely Lord Cumnor would have thought the British constitution was in jeopardy and the patriotism of his ancestors was being ingratitude ignored. But aside from elections, he had no intention of making Whig and Tory a battle cry. He had spent too much time in London and was too socially inclined to exclude anyone who shared his humor from the hospitality he readily offered, whether they were Whig, Tory, or Radical. However, in the county where he served as lord-lieutenant, the old party distinctions still acted as a test for men's suitability for social interaction, just as they did at the polls. If a Whig happened to show up at a Tory dinner—or vice versa—the food was hard to digest, and the wine and dishes were critiqued rather than enjoyed. A marriage between young people from different parties was almost as rare and frowned upon as that of Romeo and Juliet. And of course, Mr. Preston was not someone who would let such biases fade away. They excited him, and stirred up all his talent for scheming on behalf of his aligned party. Moreover, he felt it was his loyalty to his employer to "scatter his enemies" by any means possible. He had consistently hated and looked down on the Tories in general; and after that meeting on the marshy common in front of Silas's cottage, he hated the Hamleys, particularly Roger, with an especially fierce hatred. "That pompous guy," as he would always refer to Roger from then on—"he will pay for it one day," he told himself for comfort after the father and son had walked away. "What a clumsy fool!"—as he watched them leave, "The old man has twice the guts," as the Squire pulled on his bridle reins. "The old mare could find her way better on her own than being led, my fine friend. But I see through your trick. You're scared your old man will turn around and get upset again. Status indeed! a pathetic squire—a guy who would turn away his workers just before winter, leaving them to rot or starve, for all he cared—he's just like a brutal old Tory." And, while pretending to sympathize with the laid-off workers, Mr. Preston indulged his personal grievances quite pleasantly.
Mr. Preston had many causes for rejoicing: he might have forgotten this discomfiture, as he chose to feel it, in the remembrance of an increase of income, and in the popularity he enjoyed in his new abode. All Hollingford came forward to do the earl's new agent honour. Mr. Sheepshanks had been a crabbed, crusty old bachelor, frequenting inn-parlours on market days, not unwilling to give dinners to three or four chosen friends and familiars, with whom, in return, he dined from time to time, and with whom, also, he kept up an amicable rivalry in the matter of wines. But he "did not appreciate female society," as Miss Browning elegantly worded his unwillingness to accept the invitations of the Hollingford ladies. He was even unrefined enough to speak of these invitations to his intimate friends aforesaid as "those old women's worrying," but, of course, they never heard of this. Little quarter-of-sheet notes, without any envelopes—that invention was unknown in those days—but sealed in the corners when folded up instead of gummed as they are fastened at present—occasionally passed between Mr. Sheepshanks and the Miss Brownings, Mrs. Goodenough or others. From the first-mentioned ladies the form ran as follows:—"Miss Browning and her sister, Miss Phœbe Browning, present their respectful compliments to Mr. Sheepshanks, and beg to inform him that a few friends have kindly consented to favour them with their company at tea on Thursday next. Miss Browning and Miss Phœbe will take it very kindly if Mr. Sheepshanks will join their little circle."
Mr. Preston had plenty of reasons to feel happy: he could easily forget his embarrassment, as he preferred to see it, when he thought of his increased income and the popularity he enjoyed in his new home. The whole town of Hollingford came out to show respect for the earl's new agent. Mr. Sheepshanks had been a grumpy, old bachelor, spending time in inn lounges on market days, not opposed to having dinner with a few selected friends and familiar faces, with whom he occasionally dined in return and maintained a friendly rivalry over their wine choices. However, he "did not appreciate female company," as Miss Browning delicately put it when explaining his reluctance to accept the invitations from the women of Hollingford. He was even blunt enough to refer to these invitations in private conversations with his close friends as "those old women's nagging," but of course, they never heard about this. Small notes—without envelopes, as that invention didn’t exist then—but sealed at the corners when folded instead of being gummed like they are now, occasionally exchanged hands between Mr. Sheepshanks and the Miss Brownings, Mrs. Goodenough, or others. From the former ladies, the invitation was worded as follows: “Miss Browning and her sister, Miss Phœbe Browning, send their respectful regards to Mr. Sheepshanks and would like to inform him that a few friends have graciously agreed to join them for tea this Thursday. Miss Browning and Miss Phœbe would be very grateful if Mr. Sheepshanks could join their little gathering.”
Now for Mrs. Goodenough.
Now for Mrs. Goodenough.
"Mrs. Goodenough's respects to Mr. Sheepshanks, and hopes he is in good health. She would be very glad if he would favour her with his company to tea on Monday. My daughter, in Combermere, has sent me a couple of guinea-fowls, and Mrs. Goodenough hopes Mr. Sheepshanks will stay and take a bit of supper."
"Mrs. Goodenough sends her regards to Mr. Sheepshanks and hopes he is doing well. She would be very happy if he could join her for tea on Monday. My daughter, in Combermere, has sent me a couple of guinea fowls, and Mrs. Goodenough hopes Mr. Sheepshanks will stay and have some dinner."
No need for the dates of the days of the month. The good ladies would have thought that the world was coming to an end if the invitation had been sent out a week before the party therein named. But not even guinea-fowls for supper could tempt Mr. Sheepshanks. He remembered the made-wines he had tasted in former days at Hollingford parties, and shuddered. Bread-and-cheese, with a glass of bitter-beer, or a little brandy-and-water, partaken of in his old clothes (which had worn into shapes of loose comfort, and smelt strongly of tobacco), he liked better than roast guinea-fowl and birch-wine, even without throwing into the balance the stiff uneasy coat, and the tight neckcloth and tighter shoes. So the ex-agent had been seldom, if ever, seen at the Hollingford tea-parties. He might have had his form of refusal stereotyped, it was so invariably the same.
No need for the dates of the month. The ladies would have thought the world was ending if the invitation had gone out a week before the party mentioned. But not even guinea-fowl for dinner could convince Mr. Sheepshanks. He remembered the homemade wines he had tried at Hollingford parties in the past and shuddered. He preferred bread and cheese, with a glass of bitter beer or a little brandy and water, enjoyed in his old clothes (which had become comfortably loose and smelled strongly of tobacco) over roast guinea-fowl and birch wine, even without considering the stiff, uncomfortable coat, tight necktie, and even tighter shoes. So the former agent was rarely, if ever, seen at the Hollingford tea parties. His way of declining could have been made into a template; it was always the same.
"Mr. Sheepshanks' duty to Miss Browning and her sister" (to Mrs. Goodenough, or to others, as the case might be). "Business of importance prevents him from availing himself of their polite invitation; for which he begs to return his best thanks."
"Mr. Sheepshanks can't accept Miss Browning and her sister's invitation" (to Mrs. Goodenough, or others, as needed). "He has important business that prevents him from joining them, and he expresses his sincere gratitude for their kind invitation."
But now that Mr. Preston had succeeded, and come to live in Hollingford, things were changed.
But now that Mr. Preston had succeeded and moved to Hollingford, things were different.
He accepted every civility right and left, and won golden opinions accordingly. Parties were made in his honour, "just as if he had been a bride," Miss Phœbe Browning said; and to all of them he went.
He accepted every polite gesture left and right and earned high praise as a result. Celebrations were thrown in his honor, "just as if he were the bride," Miss Phoebe Browning said; and he attended all of them.
"What's the man after?" said Mr. Sheepshanks to himself, when he heard of his successor's affability, and sociability, and amiability, and a variety of other agreeable "ilities," from the friends whom the old steward still retained at Hollingford. "Preston's not a man to put himself out for nothing. He's deep. He'll be after something solider than popularity."
"What's this guy after?" Mr. Sheepshanks thought to himself when he heard about his successor's friendliness, sociability, and general likability, along with several other pleasant traits, from the friends the old steward still had at Hollingford. "Preston's not the type to make an effort without a reason. He's clever. He must be after something more substantial than just being well-liked."
The sagacious old bachelor was right. Mr. Preston was "after" something more than mere popularity. He went wherever he had a chance of meeting Cynthia Kirkpatrick.
The wise old bachelor was correct. Mr. Preston was "after" something more than just popularity. He went wherever he had a chance to meet Cynthia Kirkpatrick.
It might be that Molly's spirits were more depressed at this time than they were in general; or that Cynthia was exultant, unawares to herself, in the amount of attention and admiration she was receiving from Roger by day, from Mr. Preston in the evening, but the two girls seemed to have parted company in cheerfulness. Molly was always gentle, but very grave and silent. Cynthia, on the contrary, was merry, full of pretty mockeries, and hardly ever silent. When first she came to Hollingford one of her great charms had been that she was such a gracious listener; now her excitement, by whatever caused, made her too restless to hold her tongue; yet what she said was too pretty, too witty, not to be a winning and sparkling interruption, eagerly welcomed by those who were under her sway. Mr. Gibson was the only one who observed this change, and reasoned upon it. "She's in a mental fever of some kind," thought he to himself. "She's very fascinating, but I don't quite understand her."
Molly might have been feeling more down than usual at this time, or maybe Cynthia was unknowingly thrilled by the attention and admiration she was getting from Roger during the day and from Mr. Preston in the evening. Either way, the two girls seemed to have drifted apart in their moods. Molly was consistently gentle, yet very serious and quiet. In contrast, Cynthia was cheerful, playful with her teasing, and hardly ever quiet. When she first arrived in Hollingford, one of her greatest charms was her ability to listen graciously; now, her excitement, whatever the cause, made her too restless to be silent. Still, what she said was so delightful and clever that it became a charming and engaging distraction, eagerly welcomed by those around her. Mr. Gibson was the only one who noticed this change and thought about it. "She's in some kind of mental frenzy," he mused to himself. "She's really captivating, but I don't quite get her."
If Molly had not been so entirely loyal to her friend, she might have thought this constant brilliancy a little tiresome when brought into every-day life; it was not the sunshiny rest of a placid lake, it was rather the glitter of the pieces of a broken mirror, which confuses and bewilders. Cynthia would not talk quietly about anything now; subjects of thought or conversation seemed to have lost their relative value. There were exceptions to this mood of hers, when she sank into deep fits of silence, that would have been gloomy had it not been for the never varying sweetness of her temper. If there was a little kindness to be done to either Mr. Gibson or Molly, Cynthia was just as ready as ever to do it; nor did she refuse to do anything her mother wished, however fidgety might be the humour that prompted the wish. But in this latter case Cynthia's eyes were not quickened by her heart.
If Molly hadn’t been so completely loyal to her friend, she might have found Cynthia's constant brilliance a bit exhausting in everyday life; it wasn't the sunny calm of a peaceful lake, but more like the dazzle of pieces from a broken mirror, which confuses and overwhelms you. Cynthia wouldn’t talk calmly about anything now; topics for thought or conversation seemed to have lost their significance. There were moments when she fell into deep silences that would have felt gloomy if it weren't for her consistently sweet demeanor. If there was a small kindness to be shown to either Mr. Gibson or Molly, Cynthia was just as willing as ever to help; she also didn’t refuse to do anything her mother asked, no matter how fidgety the mood behind the request was. However, in this latter case, Cynthia's eyes didn’t shine with the same warmth as her heart.
Molly was dejected, she knew not why. Cynthia had drifted a little apart; that was not it. Her stepmother had whimsical moods; and if Cynthia displeased her, she would oppress Molly with small kindnesses and pseudo-affection. Or else everything was wrong, the world was out of joint, and Molly had failed in her mission to set it right, and was to be blamed accordingly. But Molly was of too steady a disposition to be much moved by the changeableness of an unreasonable person. She might be annoyed, or irritated, but she was not depressed. That was not it. The real cause was certainly this. As long as Roger was drawn to Cynthia, and sought her of his own accord, it had been a sore pain and bewilderment to Molly's heart; but it was a straightforward attraction, and one which Molly acknowledged, in her humility and great power of loving, to be the most natural thing in the world. She would look at Cynthia's beauty and grace, and feel as if no one could resist it. And when she witnessed all the small signs of honest devotion which Roger was at no pains to conceal, she thought, with a sigh, that surely no girl could help relinquishing her heart to such tender, strong keeping as Roger's character ensured. She would have been willing to cut off her right hand, if need were, to forward his attachment to Cynthia; and the self-sacrifice would have added a strange zest to a happy crisis. She was indignant at what she considered to be Mrs. Gibson's obtuseness to so much goodness and worth; and when she called Roger "a country lout," or any other depreciative epithet, Molly would pinch herself in order to keep silent. But after all, those were peaceful days compared to the present, when she, seeing the wrong side of the tapestry, after the wont of those who dwell in the same house with a plotter, became aware that Mrs. Gibson had totally changed her behaviour to Roger, from some cause unknown to Molly.
Molly felt sad, but she wasn’t sure why. Cynthia had become somewhat distant; that wasn’t the issue. Her stepmother had unpredictable moods, and if Cynthia upset her, she would smother Molly with superficial kindness and fake affection. Or maybe everything was wrong, the world felt off balance, and Molly was somehow responsible for fixing it, leading to her being blamed. But Molly was too steady to be deeply affected by the whims of someone unreasonable. She could feel annoyed or irritated, but she wasn’t truly downcast. That wasn’t it. The real issue was clearer. As long as Roger was interested in Cynthia and pursued her willingly, it caused Molly a lot of pain and confusion; but it was a simple attraction, one Molly recognized, with her humility and deep capacity for love, as completely natural. She would look at Cynthia’s beauty and grace and feel that no one could resist it. And when she noticed all the little signs of sincere affection that Roger didn’t bother to hide, she sighed, thinking that surely no girl could help but give her heart to someone as tender and strong as Roger was. She would have happily given up her right hand to support his feelings for Cynthia, and that sacrifice would have made her feel strangely fulfilled. She was frustrated by what she saw as Mrs. Gibson’s inability to recognize so much goodness and worth; when Mrs. Gibson called Roger a "country bumpkin" or used any other insulting term, Molly would pinch herself to stay quiet. But those days were peaceful compared to now, when she, having seen the darker side of things as one often does living with a schemer, realized that Mrs. Gibson had completely changed her attitude towards Roger, for reasons unknown to Molly.
But he was always exactly the same; "steady as old Time," as Mrs. Gibson called him, with her usual originality; "a rock of strength, under whose very shadow there is rest," as Mrs. Hamley had once spoken of him. So the cause of Mrs. Gibson's altered manner lay not in him. Yet now he was sure of a welcome, let him come at any hour he would. He was playfully reproved for having taken Mrs. Gibson's words too literally, and for never coming before lunch. But he said he considered her reasons for such words to be valid, and should respect them. And this was done out of his simplicity, and from no tinge of malice. Then in their family conversations at home, Mrs. Gibson was constantly making projects for throwing Roger and Cynthia together, with so evident a betrayal of her wish to bring about an engagement, that Molly chafed at the net spread so evidently, and at Roger's blindness in coming so willingly to be entrapped. She forgot his previous willingness, his former evidences of manly fondness for the beautiful Cynthia; she only saw plots of which he was the victim, and Cynthia the conscious if passive bait. She felt as if she could not have acted as Cynthia did; no, not even to gain Roger's love. Cynthia heard and saw as much of the domestic background as she did, and yet she submitted to the rôle assigned to her! To be sure, this rôle would have been played by her unconsciously; the things prescribed were what she would naturally have done; but because they were prescribed—by implication only, it is true—Molly would have resisted; have gone out, for instance, when she was expected to stay at home; or have lingered in the garden when a long country walk was planned. At last—for she could not help loving Cynthia, come what would—she determined to believe that Cynthia was entirely unaware of all; but it was with an effort that she brought herself to believe it.
But he was always exactly the same; "steady as old Time," as Mrs. Gibson called him, with her usual originality; "a rock of strength, under whose very shadow there is rest," as Mrs. Hamley had once described him. So the reason for Mrs. Gibson's changed behavior wasn't because of him. Yet now he was sure of a warm welcome, no matter when he showed up. He playfully got teased for taking Mrs. Gibson's words too literally and for always coming before lunch. But he said he thought her reasons for saying that were valid and deserved respect. This was out of his innocence and not out of any malicious intent. Then in their family talks at home, Mrs. Gibson was constantly coming up with plans to get Roger and Cynthia together, so obviously showing her desire to spark an engagement that Molly got annoyed at the clear trap being set and at Roger's obliviousness in eagerly walking into it. She forgot his earlier willingness and the signs of his genuine affection for beautiful Cynthia; she only saw him as a victim of plots where Cynthia was the aware yet passive bait. She felt like she couldn't have acted the way Cynthia did, not even to win Roger's love. Cynthia was aware of much of the family dynamics just as Molly was, yet she went along with the role that was expected of her! To be fair, that role would have fit her naturally; the things she was supposed to do were what she would have done anyway; but because they were expected—implied, really—Molly would have resisted; she would have gone out, for example, when she was supposed to stay home; or lingered in the garden when a long country walk was planned. Finally—since she couldn't help but love Cynthia, no matter what—she decided to believe that Cynthia completely unaware of everything; but it took effort for her to convince herself of it.
It may be all very pleasant "to sport with Amaryllis in the shade, or with the tangles of Neæra's hair," but young men at the outset of their independent life have many other cares in this prosaic England to occupy their time and their thoughts. Roger was Fellow of Trinity, to be sure; and from the outside it certainly appeared as if his position, as long as he chose to keep unmarried, was a very easy one. His was not a nature, however, to sink down into inglorious ease, even had his fellowship income been at his disposal. He looked forward to an active life; in what direction he had not yet determined. He knew what were his talents and his tastes; and did not wish the former to lie buried, nor the latter, which he regarded as gifts, fitting him for some peculiar work, to be disregarded or thwarted. He rather liked awaiting an object, secure in his own energy to force his way to it, when once he saw it clearly. He reserved enough of money for his own personal needs, which were small, and for the ready furtherance of any project he might see fit to undertake; the rest of his income was Osborne's; given and accepted in the spirit which made the bond between these two brothers so rarely perfect. It was only the thought of Cynthia that threw Roger off his balance. A strong man in everything else, about her he was as a child. He knew that he could not marry and retain his fellowship; his intention was to hold himself loose from any employment or profession until he had found one to his mind, so there was no immediate prospect—no prospect for many years, indeed, that he would be able to marry. Yet he went on seeking Cynthia's sweet company, listening to the music of her voice, basking in her sunshine, and feeding his passion in every possible way, just like an unreasoning child. He knew that it was folly—and yet he did it; and it was perhaps this that made him so sympathetic with Osborne. Roger racked his brains about Osborne's affairs much more frequently than Osborne troubled himself. Indeed, he had become so ailing and languid of late, that even the Squire made only very faint objections to his desire for frequent change of scene, though formerly he used to grumble so much at the necessary expenditure it involved.
It might be nice to "play with Amaryllis in the shade, or with the tangles of Neæra's hair," but young men starting their independent lives in this practical England have plenty of other concerns to fill their time and thoughts. Roger was a Fellow of Trinity, and on the surface, it seemed like his position would be easy as long as he stayed single. However, he wasn't the kind of person to sink into a life of comfort, even if he had access to his fellowship income. He looked forward to an active life, though he hadn't yet decided in which direction. He knew his talents and interests, and he didn’t want his skills to go unused or his interests, which he saw as gifts, to be ignored or hindered. He preferred to wait for a goal, confident in his ability to pursue it once he had a clear vision. He set aside enough money for his own simple needs and for any projects he might decide to take on; the rest of his income was Osborne's, given and accepted in the spirit that made the bond between these two brothers unusually strong. The only thing that threw Roger off balance was the thought of Cynthia. In everything else, he was a strong man, but when it came to her, he was like a child. He knew he couldn’t marry and keep his fellowship; his plan was to remain free from any job or profession until he found something that suited him, so there was no immediate chance—indeed, no chance for many years—that he would be able to marry. Still, he kept seeking Cynthia's sweet company, listening to her voice, enjoying her presence, and nurturing his passion in every way possible, just like a naïve child. He understood it was foolish—and yet he continued; perhaps that was what made him so empathetic toward Osborne. Roger worried about Osborne's problems much more often than Osborne did himself. In fact, he had become so weak and tired lately that even the Squire barely complained about his desire for frequent changes of scenery, though he used to grumble a lot about the necessary expenses involved.
"After all, it doesn't cost much," the Squire said to Roger one day. "Choose how he does it, he does it cheaply; he used to come and ask me for twenty, where now he does it for five. But he and I have lost each other's language, that's what we have! and my dictionary" (only he called it "dixonary") "has all got wrong because of those confounded debts—which he will never explain to me, or talk about—he always holds me off at arm's length when I begin upon it—he does, Roger—me, his old dad, as was his primest favourite of all, when he was a little bit of a chap!"
"After all, it doesn't cost much," the Squire said to Roger one day. "Whatever way he goes about it, he does it cheaply; he used to ask me for twenty, but now he does it for five. But we’ve lost touch with each other—that's what it is! And my dictionary" (he called it "dixonary") "is all messed up because of those annoying debts—which he never explains to me or wants to talk about. He always keeps me at arm's length when I bring it up—he does, Roger—me, his old dad, who was his favorite when he was just a little kid!"
The Squire dwelt so much upon Osborne's reserved behaviour to himself, that brooding over this one subject perpetually he became more morose and gloomy than ever in his manner to Osborne, resenting the want of the confidence and affection that he thus repelled. So much so that Roger, who desired to avoid being made the receptacle of his father's complaints against Osborne—and Roger's passive listening was the sedative his father always sought—had often to have recourse to the discussion of the drainage works as a counter-irritant. The Squire had felt Mr. Preston's speech about the dismissal of his work-people very keenly; it fell in with the reproaches of his own conscience, though, as he would repeat to Roger over and over again,—"I couldn't help it—how could I?—I was drained dry of ready money—I wish the land was drained as dry as I am," said he, with a touch of humour that came out before he was aware, and at which he smiled sadly enough. "What was I to do, I ask you, Roger? I know I was in a rage—I've had a deal to make me so—and maybe I didn't think as much about consequences as I should ha' done, when I gave orders for 'em to be sent off; but I couldn't have done otherwise if I'd ha' thought for a twelvemonth in cool blood. Consequences! I hate consequences; they've always been against me; they have. I'm so tied up I can't cut down a stick more, and that's a 'consequence' of having the property so deucedly well settled; I wish I'd never had any ancestors. Ay, laugh, lad! it does me good to see thee laugh a bit, after Osborne's long face, which always grows longer at sight o' me!"
The Squire focused so much on Osborne's distant behavior toward him that, constantly thinking about it, he became more morose and gloomy than ever in his manner toward Osborne, resenting the lack of confidence and affection that he was pushing away. So much so that Roger, who wanted to avoid being his father's sounding board for complaints about Osborne—and Roger's passive listening was the comfort his father always sought—often had to steer the conversation toward the drainage works as a distraction. The Squire felt Mr. Preston's comments about firing his workers very deeply; it resonated with his own guilty conscience, even though he would repeatedly tell Roger, “I couldn't help it—how could I?—I was out of money—I wish the land was as dry as I am,” he said with a hint of humor that slipped out before he realized it, and smiled sadly. “What was I supposed to do, Roger? I know I was angry—I’ve had a lot to make me that way—and maybe I didn’t think as much about the consequences as I should have when I ordered them to be let go; but I couldn’t have acted any differently even if I'd thought about it for a year with a clear head. Consequences! I despise consequences; they’ve always worked against me. I’m so tied down I can’t let go of another stick, and that’s a ‘consequence’ of having the property so well established; I wish I’d never had any ancestors. Yeah, laugh, son! It does me good to see you laugh a bit, after Osborne’s long face, which always seems to get longer when he sees me!”
"Look here, father!" said Roger, suddenly, "I'll manage somehow about the money for the works. You trust to me; give me two months to turn myself in, and you shall have some money, at any rate, to begin with."
"Listen, Dad!" Roger said suddenly, "I'll figure out the money for the projects. Just trust me; give me two months to sort things out, and you’ll at least have some cash to start with."
The Squire looked at him, and his face brightened as a child's does at the promise of a pleasure made to him by some one on whom he can rely. He became a little graver, however, as he said,—"But how will you get it? It's hard enough work."
The Squire looked at him, and his face lit up like a child's at the promise of a treat from someone he can count on. He grew a bit more serious, though, as he said, "But how will you get it? It’s tough work."
"Never mind; I'll get it—a hundred or so at first—I don't yet know how—but remember, father, I'm a senior wrangler, and a 'very promising young writer,' as that review called me. Oh, you don't know what a fine fellow you've got for a son! You should have read that review to know all my wonderful merits."
"Don’t worry; I’ll figure it out—around a hundred at first—I’m not sure how yet—but just remember, Dad, I’m a top student, and a ‘very promising young writer,’ as that review said. Oh, you have no idea how great a son you have! You should have read that review to appreciate all my amazing qualities."
"I did, Roger. I heard Gibson speaking of it, and I made him get it for me. I should have understood it better if they could have called the animals by their English names, and not put so much of their French jingo into it."
"I did, Roger. I heard Gibson talking about it, and I made him get it for me. I would have understood it better if they could have called the animals by their English names, and not used so much of their French nonsense."
"But it was an answer to an article by a French writer," pleaded Roger.
"But it was a response to an article by a French writer," Roger insisted.
"I'd ha' let him alone!" said the Squire, earnestly. "We had to beat 'em, and we did it at Waterloo; but I'd not demean myself by answering any of their lies, if I was you. But I got through the review, for all their Latin and French—I did; and if you doubt me, you just look at the end of the great ledger, turn it upside down, and you'll find I've copied out all the fine words they said of you: 'careful observer,' 'strong nervous English,' 'rising philosopher.' Oh! I can nearly say it all off by heart, for many a time when I'm frabbed by bad debts, or Osborne's bills, or moidered with accounts, I turn the ledger wrong way up, and smoke a pipe over it, while I read those pieces out of the review which speak about you, lad!"
"I would have left him alone!" the Squire said earnestly. "We had to defeat them, and we did that at Waterloo; but I wouldn't lower myself by responding to any of their lies if I were you. But I got through the review, despite all their Latin and French—I really did; and if you doubt me, just look at the end of the great ledger, turn it upside down, and you'll see I've copied all the nice things they said about you: 'careful observer,' 'strong nervous English,' 'rising philosopher.' Oh! I can nearly recite it all from memory, because many times when I'm stressed by bad debts, or Osborne's bills, or overwhelmed with accounts, I turn the ledger the wrong way up and smoke a pipe over it, while I read those parts of the review that talk about you, lad!"
CHAPTER XXXII.
COMING EVENTS.
Roger had turned over many plans in his mind, by which he thought that he could obtain sufficient money for the purpose he desired to accomplish. His careful grandfather, who had been a merchant in the city, had so tied up the few thousands he had left to his daughter, that although, in case of her death before her husband's, the latter might enjoy the life-interest thereof, yet, in case of both their deaths, their second son did not succeed to the property until he was five-and-twenty; and if he died before that age, the money that would then have been his went to one of his cousins on the maternal side. In short, the old merchant had taken as many precautions about his legacy as if it had been for tens, instead of units of thousands. Of course Roger might have slipped through all these meshes by insuring his life until the specified age; and, probably, if he had consulted any lawyer, this course would have been suggested to him. But he disliked taking any one into his confidence on the subject of his father's want of ready money. He had obtained a copy of his grandfather's will at Doctors' Commons, and he imagined that all the contingencies involved in it would be patent to the light of nature and common sense. He was a little mistaken in this, but not the less resolved that money in some way he would have in order to fulfil his promise to his father, and for the ulterior purpose of giving the squire some daily interest to distract his thoughts from the regrets and cares that were almost weakening his mind. It was "Roger Hamley, senior wrangler and Fellow of Trinity, to the highest bidder, no matter what honest employment," and presently it came down to "any bidder at all."
Roger had considered many plans in his mind to figure out how to get enough money for what he wanted to accomplish. His cautious grandfather, who had been a merchant in the city, had arranged the few thousand dollars he left to his daughter in such a way that, even though her husband could access it if she passed away before him, their second son wouldn't inherit until he turned twenty-five. And if he died before that age, the money would go to one of his maternal cousins. In short, the old merchant had taken as many precautions with his inheritance as if it had been for tens of thousands, rather than just a few. Of course, Roger could have bypassed all these restrictions by taking out a life insurance policy until he reached the specified age, and likely a lawyer would have suggested this option if he had consulted one. However, he didn't want to share his father's financial struggles with anyone. He had gotten a copy of his grandfather’s will from Doctors' Commons and thought that the potential issues it described would be clear to anyone with common sense. He was a bit mistaken in this belief, but he remained determined to find a way to get the money to keep his promise to his father and also to give the squire something to think about to distract him from the regrets and worries that were almost overwhelming him. It was "Roger Hamley, senior wrangler and Fellow of Trinity, to the highest bidder, no matter what honest job," and soon it got down to "any bidder at all."
Another perplexity and distress at this time weighed upon Roger. Osborne, heir to the estate, was going to have a child. The Hamley property was entailed on "heirs male born in lawful wedlock." Was the "wedlock" lawful? Osborne never seemed to doubt that it was—never seemed, in fact, to think twice about it. And if he, the husband, did not, how much less did Aimée, the trustful wife? Yet who could tell how much misery any shadows of illegality might cast into the future? One evening Roger, sitting by the languid, careless, dilettante Osborne, began to question him as to the details of the marriage. Osborne knew instinctively at what Roger was aiming. It was not that he did not desire perfect legality in justice to his wife; it was that he was so indisposed at the time that he hated to be bothered. It was something like the refrain of Gray's Scandinavian Prophetess: "Leave me, leave me to repose."
Another worry and stress weighed on Roger. Osborne, the heir to the estate, was going to have a baby. The Hamley property passed down to "male heirs born in lawful wedlock." Was the "wedlock" really lawful? Osborne never seemed to question it—never seemed to really think about it at all. And if he, the husband, didn't, how much less did Aimée, the trusting wife? Yet who could say how much trouble any hint of illegality might bring in the future? One evening, as Roger sat beside the laid-back, carefree Osborne, he started to ask him questions about the details of the marriage. Osborne could tell right away what Roger was getting at. It wasn't that he didn't want everything to be perfectly legal for his wife's sake; it was that he was so out of sorts at the moment that he didn't want to be bothered. It was a bit like the refrain of Gray's Scandinavian Prophetess: "Leave me, leave me to rest."
"But do try and tell me how you managed it."
"But please tell me how you pulled it off."
"How tiresome you are, Roger!" put in Osborne.
"You're so annoying, Roger!" added Osborne.
"Well, I daresay I am. Go on!"
"Well, I guess I am. Go ahead!"
"I've told you Morrison married us. You remember old Morrison at Trinity?"
"I've mentioned that Morrison married us. You remember old Morrison from Trinity?"
"Yes; as good and blunder-headed a fellow as ever lived."
"Yeah; as good and careless a guy as ever existed."
"Well, he's taken orders; and the examination for priest's orders fatigued him so much that he got his father to give him a hundred or two for a tour on the Continent. He meant to get to Rome, because he heard that there were such pleasant winters there. So he turned up at Metz in August."
"Well, he’s taken orders, and the exam for becoming a priest wore him out so much that he convinced his dad to give him a hundred or two for a trip around Europe. He planned to go to Rome because he heard the winters there were really nice. So, he showed up in Metz in August."
"I don't see why."
"I don’t get it."
"No more did he. He never was great in geography, you know; and somehow he thought that Metz, pronounced French fashion, must be on the road to Rome. Some one had told him so in fun. However, it was very well for me that I met with him there, for I was determined to be married, and that without loss of time."
"He didn't anymore. He was never great at geography, you know; and somehow he thought that Metz, pronounced the French way, had to be on the road to Rome. Someone had told him that as a joke. However, it was really good for me that I ran into him there, because I was set on getting married, and that without wasting any time."
"But Aimée is a Catholic?"
"But Aimée is Catholic?"
"That's true! but you see I am not. You don't suppose I would do her any wrong, Roger?" asked Osborne, sitting up in his lounging-chair, and speaking rather indignantly to Roger, his face suddenly flushing red.
"That's true! But you know I'm not. You don't think I would do her any harm, do you, Roger?" asked Osborne, sitting up in his lounge chair and speaking rather indignantly to Roger, his face suddenly turning red.
"No! I'm sure you would not mean it; but, you see, there's a child coming, and this estate is entailed on 'heirs-male.' Now, I want to know if the marriage is legal or not? and it seems to me it's a ticklish question."
"No! I’m sure you didn’t mean it that way, but you see, there’s a child coming, and this estate is passed down to 'male heirs.' Now, I want to know if the marriage is legal or not? It seems to me it’s a tricky question."
"Oh!" said Osborne, falling back into repose, "if that's all, I suppose you're next heir-male, and I can trust you as I can myself. You know my marriage is bonâ fide in intention, and I believe it to be legal in fact. We went over to Strasbourg; Aimée picked up a friend—a good middle-aged Frenchwoman—who served half as bridesmaid, half as chaperone, and then we went before the mayor—préfet—what do you call them? I think Morrison rather enjoyed the spree. I signed all manner of papers in the prefecture; I did not read them over, for fear lest I could not sign them conscientiously. It was the safest plan. Aimée kept trembling so I thought she would faint; and then we went off to the nearest English chaplaincy, Carlsruhe, and the chaplain was away, so Morrison easily got the loan of the chapel, and we were married the next day."
"Oh!" said Osborne, leaning back, "if that's the case, I guess you’re the next male heir, and I can trust you as much as I trust myself. You know my marriage is genuine in intention, and I believe it's legal in reality. We went to Strasbourg; Aimée picked up a friend—a nice middle-aged Frenchwoman—who acted as half bridesmaid, half chaperone, and then we went in front of the mayor—préfet—what do you call them? I think Morrison really enjoyed the outing. I signed all kinds of papers at the prefecture; I didn’t read them over because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to sign them with a clear conscience. That seemed like the safest approach. Aimée was so nervous that I thought she would faint; then we went to the nearest English chaplaincy in Carlsruhe, and the chaplain was away, so Morrison easily got us the use of the chapel, and we were married the next day."
"But surely some registration or certificate was necessary?"
"But surely some registration or certification was needed?"
"Morrison said he would undertake all those forms; and he ought to know his own business. I know I tipped him pretty well for the job."
"Morrison said he would take care of everything; he should know his own work. I know I paid him pretty well for the job."
"You must be married again," said Roger, after a pause, "and that before the child is born. Have you got a certificate of the marriage?"
"You need to get married again," said Roger, after a pause, "and that has to happen before the baby is born. Do you have a marriage certificate?"
"I daresay Morrison has got it somewhere. But I believe I'm legally married according to the laws both of England and France; I really do, old fellow. I've got the préfet's papers somewhere."
"I honestly think Morrison has it somewhere. But I believe I’m legally married under the laws of both England and France; I really do, my friend. I have the préfet’s documents somewhere."
"Never mind! you shall be married again in England. Aimée goes to the Roman Catholic chapel at Prestham, doesn't she?"
"Don't worry! You'll get married again in England. Aimée goes to the Roman Catholic chapel in Prestham, right?"
"Yes. She is so good I wouldn't disturb her in her religion for the world."
"Yeah. She's so amazing I wouldn't want to interfere with her faith for anything."
"Then you shall be married both there and at the church of the parish in which she lives as well," said Roger, decidedly.
"Then you'll get married both there and at the church in her neighborhood too," said Roger confidently.
"It's a great deal of trouble, unnecessary trouble, and unnecessary expense, I should say," said Osborne. "Why can't you leave well alone? Neither Aimée nor I are of the sort of stuff to turn scoundrels and deny the legality of our marriage; and if the child is a boy and my father dies, and I die, why I'm sure you'll do him justice, as sure as I am of myself, old fellow!"
"It's a lot of trouble, unnecessary trouble, and unnecessary cost, I have to say," said Osborne. "Why can't you just let things be? Neither Aimée nor I would ever stoop to being scoundrels and deny the legality of our marriage; and if the child is a boy, and my father dies, and I die, I'm sure you'll treat him fairly, just as I trust myself, old friend!"
"But if I die into the bargain? Make a hecatomb of the present Hamleys all at once, while you are about it. Who succeeds as heir-male?"
"But what if I die in the deal? Wipe out all the current Hamleys at once while you’re at it. Who becomes the male heir?"
Osborne thought for a moment. "One of the Irish Hamleys, I suppose. I fancy they are needy chaps. Perhaps you're right. But what need to have such gloomy forebodings?"
Osborne paused for a moment. "One of the Irish Hamleys, I guess. I imagine they’re struggling. Maybe you’re right. But why feel so pessimistic?"
"The law makes one have foresight in such affairs," said Roger. "So I'll go down to Aimée next week when I'm in town, and I'll make all necessary arrangements before you come. I think you'll be happier if it is all done."
"The law requires you to think ahead in these matters," Roger said. "So I'll visit Aimée next week while I'm in town, and I'll take care of everything you need before you arrive. I think you'll be happier if it's all sorted out."
"I shall be happier if I've a chance of seeing the little woman, that I grant you. But what is taking you up to town? I wish I'd money to run about like you, instead of being shut up for ever in this dull old house."
"I'd be happier if I had a chance to see that little woman, I admit. But why are you going to the city? I wish I had money to explore like you, instead of being stuck in this boring old house forever."
Osborne was apt occasionally to contrast his position with Roger's in a tone of complaint, forgetting that both were the results of character, and also that out of his income Roger gave up so large a portion for the maintenance of his brother's wife. But if this ungenerous thought of Osborne's had been set clearly before his conscience, he would have smote his breast and cried "Mea culpa" with the best of them; it was only that he was too indolent to keep an unassisted conscience.
Osborne sometimes complained about how his situation compared to Roger's, without realizing that both were shaped by their characters, and that Roger contributed a significant part of his income to support his brother's wife. If Osborne had fully recognized this selfish thought, he would have beat his chest and said "My bad," just like everyone else; he just couldn’t be bothered to confront his own conscience.
"I shouldn't have thought of going up," said Roger, reddening as if he had been accused of spending another's money instead of his own, "if I hadn't had to go up on business. Lord Hollingford has written for me; he knows my great wish for employment, and has heard of something which he considers suitable; there's his letter if you care to read it. But it does not tell anything definitely."
"I shouldn’t have thought about going up,” said Roger, flushing as if he had been accused of spending someone else’s money instead of his own. “If I hadn’t had to go up for work. Lord Hollingford wrote to me; he knows how much I want a job and has heard of something he thinks might be a good fit. Here’s his letter if you want to read it. But it doesn’t say anything specific."
Osborne read the letter and returned it to Roger. After a moment or two of silence he said,—"Why do you want money? Are we taking too much from you? It's a great shame of me; but what can I do? Only suggest a career for me, and I'll follow it to-morrow." He spoke as if Roger had been reproaching him.
Osborne read the letter and handed it back to Roger. After a brief silence, he said, “Why do you need money? Are we asking too much of you? It's really unfair to me, but what can I do? Just suggest a career for me, and I’ll jump on it tomorrow.” He spoke as if Roger had been blaming him.
"My dear fellow, don't get those notions into your head! I must do something for myself sometimes, and I've been on the look-out. Besides, I want my father to go on with his drainage; it would do good both to his health and his spirits. If I can advance any part of the money requisite, he and you shall pay me interest until you can return the capital."
"My dear friend, don’t get those ideas in your head! I need to do something for myself sometimes, and I've been keeping an eye out. Besides, I want my dad to continue with his drainage project; it would be beneficial for both his health and his mood. If I can provide any of the necessary funds, he and you will pay me interest until you can pay back the principal."
"Roger, you're the providence of the family," exclaimed Osborne, suddenly struck by admiration at his brother's conduct, and forgetting to contrast it with his own.
"Roger, you're the backbone of the family," exclaimed Osborne, suddenly struck by admiration at his brother's behavior and forgetting to compare it with his own.
So Roger went up to London and Osborne followed him, and for two or three weeks the Gibsons saw nothing of the brothers. But as wave succeeds to wave, so interest succeeds to interest. "The family," as they were called, came down for their autumn sojourn at the Towers, and again the house was full of visitors, and the Towers' servants, and carriages, and liveries were seen in the two streets of Hollingford, just as they might have been seen for scores of autumns past.
So Roger went up to London and Osborne followed him, and for two or three weeks, the Gibsons didn't see the brothers at all. But just like waves come one after another, interest follows interest. "The family," as they were known, came down for their autumn stay at the Towers, and once again the house was filled with visitors, and the Towers' staff, carriages, and uniforms were seen in the two streets of Hollingford, just as they had been for countless autumns before.
So runs the round of life from day to day. Mrs. Gibson found the chances of intercourse with the Towers rather more personally exciting than Roger's visits, or the rarer calls of Osborne Hamley. Cynthia had an old antipathy to the great family who had made so much of her mother and so little of her; and whom she considered as in some measure the cause why she had seen so little of her mother in the days when the little girl had craved for love and found none. Moreover, Cynthia missed her slave, although she did not care for Roger one thousandth part of what he did for her; yet she had found it not unpleasant to have a man whom she thoroughly respected, and whom men in general respected, the subject of her eye, the glad ministrant to each scarce-spoken wish, a person in whose sight all her words were pearls or diamonds, all her actions heavenly graciousness, and in whose thoughts she reigned supreme. She had no modest unconsciousness about her; and yet she was not vain. She knew of all this worship; and when from circumstances she no longer received it, she missed it. The Earl and the Countess, Lord Hollingford and Lady Harriet, lords and ladies in general, liveries, dresses, bags of game, and rumours of riding parties, were as nothing to her compared to Roger's absence. And yet she did not love him. No, she did not love him. Molly knew that Cynthia did not love him. Molly grew angry with her many and many a time as the conviction of this fact was forced upon her. Molly did not know her own feelings; Roger had no overwhelming interest in what they might be; while his very life-breath seemed to depend on what Cynthia felt and thought. Therefore Molly had keen insight into her "sister's" heart; and she knew that Cynthia did not love Roger. Molly could have cried with passionate regret at the thought of the unvalued treasure lying at Cynthia's feet; and it would have been a merely unselfish regret. It was the old fervid tenderness: "Do not wish for the moon, O my darling, for I cannot give it thee." Cynthia's love was the moon Roger yearned for; and Molly saw that it was far away and out of reach, else would she have strained her heart-cords to give it to Roger.
So goes the cycle of life day by day. Mrs. Gibson found her interactions with the Towers a lot more personally thrilling than Roger’s visits or the rare calls from Osborne Hamley. Cynthia held a long-standing grudge against the powerful family that had celebrated her mother but ignored her; she believed they were partly to blame for the little time she spent with her mother during the years when she desperately wanted love but found none. Additionally, Cynthia missed her servant, even though she didn’t care about Roger a fraction as much as he cared for her; still, she appreciated having a man whom she completely respected, and who was respected by other men, as the focus of her attention, someone who eagerly attended to her slightest wishes, a person who regarded all her words as precious and all her actions as graceful, and in whose thoughts she held supreme importance. She wasn’t modestly unaware of this admiration; yet she wasn’t vain either. She was aware of all this devotion, and when circumstances caused her to stop receiving it, she felt its absence. The Earl and the Countess, Lord Hollingford and Lady Harriet, the aristocracy in general, the fancy outfits, the bags of game, and whispers of riding parties meant nothing to her compared to Roger’s absence. And still, she didn’t love him. No, she didn’t love him. Molly knew that Cynthia didn’t love him. Molly grew frustrated many times as she faced this reality. Molly wasn’t sure about her own feelings; Roger had no intense interest in what they might be; while his very happiness seemed to hinge on how Cynthia felt and thought. Thus, Molly had a deep understanding of her "sister's" heart; she knew that Cynthia did not love Roger. Molly could have cried in passionate sorrow at the thought of the unappreciated treasure lying at Cynthia’s feet; and her regret would have been entirely selfless. It was the old, burning tenderness: "Don’t wish for the moon, my darling, because I can’t give it to you." Cynthia’s love was the moon that Roger longed for; and Molly realized it was far away and out of reach, otherwise she would have strained her heart to give it to Roger.
"I am his sister," she would say to herself. "That old bond is not done away with, though he is too much absorbed by Cynthia to speak about it just now. His mother called me 'Fanny;' it was almost like an adoption. I must wait and watch, and see if I can do anything for my brother."
"I am his sister," she would tell herself. "That connection is still there, even though he’s too wrapped up in Cynthia to talk about it right now. His mom called me 'Fanny;' it felt almost like I was adopted. I need to be patient and see if there's anything I can do for my brother."
One day Lady Harriet came to call on the Gibsons, or rather on Mrs. Gibson, for the latter retained her old jealousy if any one else in Hollingford was supposed to be on intimate terms at the great house, or in the least acquainted with their plans. Mr. Gibson might possibly know as much, but then he was professionally bound to secrecy. Out of the house she considered Mr. Preston as her rival, and he was aware that she did so, and delighted in teasing her by affecting a knowledge of family plans and details of affairs of which she was ignorant. Indoors she was jealous of the fancy Lady Harriet had evidently taken for her step-daughter, and she contrived to place quiet obstacles in the way of a too frequent intercourse between the two. These obstacles were not unlike the shield of the knight in the old story; only instead of the two sides presented to the two travellers approaching it from opposite quarters, one of which was silver, and one of which was gold, Lady Harriet saw the smooth and shining yellow radiance, while poor Molly only perceived a dull and heavy lead. To Lady Harriet it was "Molly is gone out; she will be so sorry to miss you, but she was obliged to go to see some old friends of her mother's whom she ought not to neglect; as I said to her, constancy is everything. It is Sterne, I think, who says, 'Thine own and thy mother's friends forsake not.' But, dear Lady Harriet, you'll stop till she comes home, won't you? I know how fond you are of her; in fact" (with a little surface playfulness) "I sometimes say you come more to see her than your poor old Clare."
One day, Lady Harriet came to visit the Gibsons, or more specifically, Mrs. Gibson, who still felt jealous if anyone in Hollingford seemed close to the great house or knew any of their plans. Mr. Gibson might know just as much, but he was professionally required to keep it all confidential. Outside the house, she viewed Mr. Preston as her competitor, and he knew this and enjoyed teasing her by pretending to know family plans and details that she was unaware of. Inside, she was envious of the obvious affection Lady Harriet had for her step-daughter, and she worked subtly to create obstacles that prevented the two from seeing each other too often. These obstacles resembled the shield from the old tale; instead of having one side as silver and the other as gold for the two travelers approaching from opposite sides, Lady Harriet saw the bright, glowing yellow light, while poor Molly only saw a dull, heavy gray. To Lady Harriet, it was "Molly is out; she'll be so sorry to miss you, but she had to go visit some of her mother's old friends she shouldn't ignore; as I told her, loyalty is everything. I believe it's Sterne who said, 'Your own friends and your mother's friends never abandon you.' But, dear Lady Harriet, won't you stay until she gets back? I know how much you care for her; in fact" (with a hint of playful teasing) "sometimes I think you come to see her more than your poor old Clare."
To Molly it had previously been,—
To Molly, it had previously been,—
"Lady Harriet is coming here this morning. I can't have any one else coming in. Tell Maria to say I'm not at home. Lady Harriet has always so much to tell me. Dear Lady Harriet! I've known all her secrets since she was twelve years old. You two girls must keep out of the way. Of course she'll ask for you, out of common civility; but you would only interrupt us if you came in, as you did the other day;"—now addressing Molly—"I hardly like to say so, but I thought it was very forward."
"Lady Harriet is coming over this morning. I can't have anyone else dropping by. Tell Maria to say I'm not home. Lady Harriet always has so much to share with me. Dear Lady Harriet! I've known all her secrets since she was twelve. You two girls need to stay out of the way. She'll definitely ask for you out of politeness, but you'd just interrupt us if you came in, like you did the other day;"—now turning to Molly—"I don't want to sound harsh, but I thought it was pretty bold."
"Maria told me she had asked for me," put in Molly, simply.
"Maria told me she asked for me," Molly said, simply.
"Very forward indeed!" continued Mrs. Gibson, taking no further notice of the interruption, except to strengthen the words to which Molly's little speech had been intended as a correction.
"Very bold indeed!" continued Mrs. Gibson, not acknowledging the interruption any further, except to emphasize the words that Molly's little speech was meant to correct.
"I think this time I must secure her ladyship from the chances of such an intrusion, by taking care that you are out of the house, Molly. You had better go to the Holly Farm, and speak about those damsons I ordered, and which have never been sent."
"I think this time I need to ensure her ladyship is protected from the possibility of such an intrusion by making sure you're out of the house, Molly. It would be best if you went to the Holly Farm and asked about those damsons I ordered, which have never been delivered."
"I'll go," said Cynthia. "It's far too long a walk for Molly; she's had a bad cold, and isn't as strong as she was a fortnight ago. I delight in long walks. If you want Molly out of the way, mamma, send her to the Miss Brownings'—they are always glad to see her."
"I'll go," said Cynthia. "It's way too long of a walk for Molly; she's had a bad cold and isn't as strong as she was two weeks ago. I love long walks. If you want Molly out of the way, Mom, send her to the Miss Brownings'—they're always happy to see her."
"I never said I wanted Molly out of the way, Cynthia," replied Mrs. Gibson. "You always put things in such an exaggerated—I should almost say, so coarse a manner. I am sure, Molly, my love, you could never have so misunderstood me; it is only on Lady Harriet's account."
"I never said I wanted Molly gone, Cynthia," Mrs. Gibson replied. "You always make things sound so exaggerated—I should almost say, so harshly. I'm sure, Molly, my dear, you could never have misunderstood me like that; it's only for Lady Harriet's sake."
"I don't think I can walk as far as the Holly Farm; papa would take the message; Cynthia need not go."
"I don't think I can walk all the way to the Holly Farm; Dad can take the message; Cynthia doesn't need to go."
"Well! I'm the last person in the world to tax any one's strength; I'd sooner never see damson preserve again. Suppose you do go and see Miss Browning; you can pay her a nice long call, you know she likes that; and ask after Miss Phœbe's cold from me, you know. They were friends of your mother's, my dear, and I would not have you break off old friendships for the world. 'Constancy above everything' is my motto, as you know, and the memory of the dead ought always to be cherished."
"Well! I'm the last person to push anyone's limits; I'd rather never see damson jam again. If you do go visit Miss Browning, you can stay for a nice long chat since you know she enjoys that; and please ask about Miss Phœbe's cold for me, alright? They were friends of your mother's, dear, and I wouldn’t want you to lose touch with old friends for anything. 'Loyalty above all' is my motto, as you know, and we should always cherish the memory of those who have passed."
"Now, mamma, where am I to go?" asked Cynthia. "Though Lady Harriet doesn't care for me as much as she does for Molly—indeed, quite the contrary I should say—yet she might ask after me, and I had better be safely out of the way."
"Now, Mom, where am I supposed to go?" asked Cynthia. "Even though Lady Harriet doesn't care about me as much as she does for Molly—actually, I would say it's the opposite—she might still ask about me, and I’d be better off being out of sight."
"True!" said Mrs. Gibson, meditatively, yet unconscious of any satire in Cynthia's speech.
"True!" said Mrs. Gibson, thoughtfully, not realizing there was any sarcasm in Cynthia's words.
"She is much less likely to ask for you, my dear: I almost think you might remain in the house, or you might go to the Holly Farm; I really do want the damsons; or you might stay here in the dining-room, you know, so as to be ready to arrange lunch prettily, if she does take a fancy to stay for it. She is very fanciful, is dear Lady Harriet! I would not like her to think we made any difference in our meals because she stayed. 'Simple elegance,' as I tell her, 'always is what we aim at.' But still you could put out the best service, and arrange some flowers, and ask cook what there is for dinner that she could send us for lunch, and make it all look pretty, and impromptu, and natural. I think you had better stay at home, Cynthia, and then you could fetch Molly from Miss Brownings' in the afternoon, you know, and you two could take a walk together."
"She’s much less likely to ask for you, my dear. I almost think you could stay in the house, or you could go to the Holly Farm; I really do want the damsons. Or you could stay here in the dining room, you know, just in case she decides to stay for lunch. Lady Harriet is quite whimsical! I wouldn’t want her to think we changed our meals just because she stayed. ‘Simple elegance,’ as I tell her, ‘is always what we aim for.’ But you could still set out the best dishes, arrange some flowers, check with the cook about what she could send us for lunch, and make everything look pretty, spontaneous, and natural. I think it’d be better for you to stay at home, Cynthia. Then you could pick up Molly from Miss Brownings’ in the afternoon, and you two could go for a walk together."
"After Lady Harriet was fairly gone! I understand, mamma. Off with you, Molly. Make haste, or Lady Harriet may come and ask for you as well as mamma. I'll take care and forget where you are going to, so that no one shall learn from me where you are, and I'll answer for mamma's loss of memory."
"After Lady Harriet has left! I get it, mom. Hurry up, Molly. Move fast, or Lady Harriet might come and ask for you, too. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to forget where you’re headed, so no one can find out from me, and I’ll take responsibility for mom's forgetfulness."
"Child! what nonsense you talk; you quite confuse me with being so silly," said Mrs. Gibson, fluttered and annoyed as she usually was with the Lilliputian darts Cynthia flung at her. She had recourse to her accustomed feckless piece of retaliation—bestowing some favour on Molly; and this did not hurt Cynthia one whit.
"Child! What nonsense you’re talking; you totally confuse me with your silliness," said Mrs. Gibson, flustered and irritated as she often was by the little jabs Cynthia threw at her. She resorted to her usual ineffective way of getting back at Cynthia— showing some affection to Molly; and this didn’t bother Cynthia at all.
"Molly, darling, there's a very cold wind, though it looks so fine. You had better put on my Indian shawl; and it will look so pretty, too, on your grey gown—scarlet and grey; it's not everybody I would lend it to, but you're so careful."
"Molly, sweetheart, it's really cold outside, even if it looks nice. You should put on my Indian shawl; it'll look lovely with your grey dress—scarlet and grey. I wouldn't lend it to just anyone, but you're so careful with things."
"Thank you," said Molly: and she left Mrs. Gibson in careless uncertainty as to whether her offer would be accepted or not.
"Thanks," said Molly, and she left Mrs. Gibson in a state of unsure uncertainty about whether her offer would be accepted or not.
Lady Harriet was sorry to miss Molly, as she was fond of the girl; but as she perfectly agreed with Mrs. Gibson's truism about "constancy" and "old friends," she saw no occasion for saying any more about the affair, but sat down in a little low chair with her feet on the fender. This said fender was made of bright, bright steel, and was strictly tabooed to all household and plebeian feet; indeed the position, if they assumed it, was considered low-bred and vulgar.
Lady Harriet regretted missing Molly because she really liked her; but since she completely agreed with Mrs. Gibson's saying about "constancy" and "old friends," she felt no need to discuss it further. Instead, she sat down in a small low chair with her feet on the fender. This fender was made of shiny steel and was strictly off-limits to all household and common feet; in fact, if anyone dared to put their feet there, it was seen as rude and uncouth.
"That's right, dear Lady Harriet! you can't think what a pleasure it is to me to welcome you at my own fireside, into my humble home."
"That's right, dear Lady Harriet! You can't imagine how much joy it brings me to welcome you to my own fireplace, into my cozy home."
"Humble! now, Clare, that's a little bit of nonsense, begging your pardon. I don't call this pretty little drawing-room a bit of a 'humble home.' It's as full of comforts, and of pretty things too, as any room of its size can be."
"Humble! Now, Clare, that's a bit of nonsense, if I may say so. I wouldn't call this lovely little drawing room a 'humble home' at all. It's as cozy and filled with nice things as any room of this size could be."
"Ah! how small you must feel it! even I had to reconcile myself to it at first."
"Ah! You must feel so small! I had to come to terms with it at first too."
"Well! perhaps your schoolroom was larger, but remember how bare it was, how empty of anything but deal tables, and forms, and mats. Oh, indeed, Clare, I quite agree with mamma, who always says you have done very well for yourself; and Mr. Gibson too! What an agreeable, well-informed man!"
"Well! Maybe your classroom was bigger, but remember how bare it was, how it only had wooden tables, benches, and mats. Oh, really, Clare, I completely agree with Mom, who always says you’ve done really well for yourself; and Mr. Gibson too! What a pleasant, knowledgeable man!"
"Yes, he is," said his wife, slowly, as if she did not like to relinquish her rôle of a victim to circumstances quite immediately. "He is very agreeable, very; only we see so little of him; and of course he comes home tired and hungry, and not inclined to talk to his own family, and apt to go to sleep."
"Yes, he is," his wife said slowly, as if she didn’t want to give up her role as a victim to circumstances just yet. "He’s very nice, really; it’s just that we hardly see him. And of course, he comes home tired and hungry, not really in the mood to talk to his own family, and likely to fall asleep."
"Come, come!" said Lady Harriet, "I'm going to have my turn now. We've had the complaint of a doctor's wife, now hear the moans of a peer's daughter. Our house is so overrun with visitors! and literally to-day I have come to you for a little solitude."
"Come on!" Lady Harriet said, "It's my turn now. We've heard from a doctor's wife, now listen to the complaints of a peer's daughter. Our house is completely overrun with guests! Honestly, today I'm coming to you for a bit of peace and quiet."
"Solitude!" exclaimed Mrs. Gibson. "Would you rather be alone?" slightly aggrieved.
"Solitude!" exclaimed Mrs. Gibson. "Would you rather be alone?" slightly annoyed.
"No, you dear silly woman; my solitude requires a listener, to whom I may say, 'How sweet is solitude!' But I am tired of the responsibility of entertaining. Papa is so open-hearted, he asks every friend he meets with to come and pay us a visit. Mamma is really a great invalid, but she does not choose to give up her reputation for good health, having always considered illness a want of self-control. So she gets wearied and worried by a crowd of people who are all of them open-mouthed for amusement of some kind; just like a brood of fledglings in a nest; so I have to be parent-bird, and pop morsels into their yellow leathery bills, to find them swallowed down before I can think of where to find the next. Oh, it's 'entertaining' in the largest, literalist, dreariest sense of the word. So I have told a few lies this morning, and come off here for quietness and the comfort of complaining!"
"No, you silly woman; my solitude needs someone to listen, to whom I can say, 'How nice is solitude!' But I’m tired of the obligation to entertain. Dad is so warm-hearted; he invites every friend he meets to come and visit us. Mom is really quite unwell, but she refuses to give up her reputation for good health, believing that illness is just a lack of self-discipline. So she gets exhausted and stressed by a crowd of people who are all eager for some kind of entertainment, like a bunch of hungry chicks in a nest; I have to be the parent bird and feed them little bits until they're all swallowed down before I can even think about where to find the next. Oh, it's 'entertaining' in the biggest, most literal, dreariest sense of the word. So I told a few fibs this morning and came out here for some peace and the chance to complain!"
Lady Harriet threw herself back in her chair, and yawned; Mrs. Gibson took one of her ladyship's hands in a soft sympathizing manner, and murmured,—
Lady Harriet leaned back in her chair and yawned; Mrs. Gibson took one of her ladyship's hands gently, expressing sympathy, and whispered,
"Poor Lady Harriet!" and then she purred affectionately.
"Poor Lady Harriet!" she said, and then she purred affectionately.
After a pause Lady Harriet started up and said—"I used to take you as my arbiter of morals when I was a little girl. Tell me, do you think it wrong to tell lies?"
After a pause, Lady Harriet stood up and said, "I used to see you as my moral guide when I was a little girl. Tell me, do you think it's wrong to lie?"
"Oh, my dear! how can you ask such questions?—of course it is very wrong,—very wicked indeed, I think I may say. But I know you were only joking when you said you had told lies."
"Oh, my dear! How can you ask such questions? Of course, it's very wrong—really wicked, I would say. But I know you were just joking when you said you had told lies."
"No, indeed, I wasn't. I told as plump fat lies as you would wish to hear. I said I 'was obliged to go into Hollingford on business,' when the truth was there was no obligation in the matter, only an insupportable desire of being free from my visitors for an hour or two, and my only business was to come here, and yawn, and complain, and lounge at my leisure. I really think I'm unhappy at having told a story, as children express it."
"No, I definitely wasn’t. I told the biggest, fattest lies you could imagine. I said I 'had to go into Hollingford for work,' when the truth was there was no obligation at all; I just had an unbearable urge to be free from my guests for an hour or two, and my only plan was to come here, yawn, complain, and relax at my own pace. I honestly feel a bit unhappy about having told a lie, like kids would put it."
"But, my dear Lady Harriet," said Mrs. Gibson, a little puzzled as to the exact meaning of the words that were trembling on her tongue, "I am sure you thought that you meant what you said, when you said it."
"But, my dear Lady Harriet," Mrs. Gibson said, a little confused about the precise meaning of the words she was about to say, "I'm sure you believed you meant what you said when you said it."
"No, I didn't," put in Lady Harriet.
"No, I didn't," Lady Harriet interjected.
"And besides, if you didn't, it was the fault of the tiresome people who drove you into such straits—yes, it was certainly their fault, not yours—and then you know the conventions of society—ah, what trammels they are!"
"And besides, if you didn’t, it was the fault of those annoying people who put you in such difficult situations—yes, it was definitely their fault, not yours—and then you know how society works—ah, what restrictions they place on us!"
Lady Harriet was silent for a minute or two; then she said,—"Tell me, Clare; you've told lies sometimes, haven't you?"
Lady Harriet was quiet for a minute or two; then she said, "Tell me, Clare; you've told lies sometimes, right?"
"Lady Harriet! I think you might have known me better; but I know you don't mean it, dear."
"Lady Harriet! I thought you might know me better; but I know you don’t mean it, dear."
"Yes, I do. You must have told white lies, at any rate. How did you feel after them?"
"Yeah, I do. You must have told some little white lies, at least. How did you feel after that?"
"I should have been miserable if I ever had. I should have died of self-reproach. 'The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,' has always seemed to me such a fine passage. But then I have so much that is unbending in my nature, and in our sphere of life there are so few temptations. If we are humble, we are also simple, and unshackled by etiquette."
"I would have been miserable if I had ever felt that way. I would have died from self-blame. 'The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,' has always struck me as such a powerful statement. But I have so much rigidity in my character, and in our way of life, there are very few temptations. If we are humble, we are also straightforward and free from social constraints."
"Then you blame me very much? If somebody else will blame me, I sha'n't be so unhappy at what I said this morning."
"Are you blaming me a lot? If someone else blames me, I won’t feel as bad about what I said this morning."
"I am sure I never blamed you, not in my innermost heart, dear Lady Harriet. Blame you, indeed! That would be presumption in me."
"I know I never blamed you, not in my deepest heart, dear Lady Harriet. Blame you, really! That would be arrogant of me."
"I think I shall set up a confessor! and it sha'n't be you, Clare, for you have always been only too indulgent to me."
"I think I’ll get a confessor! And it won’t be you, Clare, because you’ve always been too lenient with me."
After a pause she said,—"Can you give me some lunch, Clare? I don't mean to go home till three. My 'business' will take me till then, as the people at the Towers are duly informed."
After a pause, she said, "Can you get me some lunch, Clare? I don't plan to go home until three. My 'business' will keep me occupied until then, as the people at the Towers have been properly informed."
"Certainly. I shall be delighted! but you know we are very simple in our habits."
"Of course. I'd love to! But you know we're pretty simple in our routines."
"Oh, I only want a little bread-and-butter, and perhaps a slice of cold meat—you must not give yourself any trouble, Clare—perhaps you dine now? let me sit down just like one of your family."
"Oh, I just want a little bit of bread and butter, and maybe a slice of cold meat—you don't need to go out of your way, Clare—are you having dinner now? Let me sit down just like one of your family."
"Yes, you shall; I won't make any alteration;—it will be so pleasant to have you sharing our family meal, dear Lady Harriet. But we dine late, we only lunch now. How low the fire is getting; I really am forgetting everything in the pleasure of this tête-à-tête!"
"Yes, you will; I won’t change anything;—it’ll be so nice to have you join our family meal, dear Lady Harriet. But we eat dinner late; we only have lunch now. The fire is really dying down; I’m honestly forgetting everything in the enjoyment of this one-on-one conversation!"
So she rang twice; with great distinctness, and with a long pause between the rings. Maria brought in coals.
So she rang twice; clearly, with a long pause between the rings. Maria brought in coals.
But the signal was as well understood by Cynthia as the "Hall of Apollo" was by the servants of Lucullus. The brace of partridges that were to have been for the late dinner were instantly put down to the fire; and the prettiest china brought out, and the table decked with flowers and fruit, arranged with all Cynthia's usual dexterity and taste. So that when the meal was announced, and Lady Harriet entered the room, she could not but think her hostess's apologies had been quite unnecessary; and be more and more convinced that Clare had done very well for herself. Cynthia now joined the party, pretty and elegant as she always was; but somehow she did not take Lady Harriet's fancy; she only noticed her on account of her being her mother's daughter. Her presence made the conversation more general, and Lady Harriet gave out several pieces of news, none of them of any great importance to her, but as what had been talked about by the circle of visitors assembled at the Towers.
But Cynthia understood the signal as well as the servants of Lucullus understood the "Hall of Apollo." The pair of partridges meant for the late dinner were quickly put over the fire, and the prettiest china was taken out, with the table decorated with flowers and fruit, arranged with all of Cynthia's usual skill and taste. So when the meal was announced and Lady Harriet entered the room, she couldn't help but think her hostess's apologies were completely unnecessary, and she became more convinced that Clare had made a great match. Cynthia then joined the group, looking as pretty and elegant as always; yet for some reason, she didn't catch Lady Harriet's fancy. Lady Harriet only noticed her because she was her mother's daughter. Cynthia's presence made the conversation more inclusive, and Lady Harriet shared several pieces of news, none of which were particularly important to her, but were topics that had been discussed by the circle of visitors gathered at the Towers.
"Lord Hollingford ought to have been with us," she said, amongst other things; "but he is obliged, or fancies himself obliged, which is all the same thing, to stay in town about this Crichton legacy!"
"Lord Hollingford should have been with us," she said, among other things; "but he feels he has to stay in town because of this Crichton legacy!"
"A legacy? To Lord Hollingford? I am so glad!"
"A legacy? For Lord Hollingford? I'm so glad!"
"Don't be in a hurry to be glad! It's nothing for him but trouble. Didn't you hear of that rich eccentric Mr. Crichton, who died some time ago, and—fired by the example of Lord Bridgewater, I suppose—left a sum of money in the hands of trustees, of whom my brother is one, to send out a man with a thousand fine qualifications, to make a scientific voyage, with a view to bringing back specimens of the fauna of distant lands, and so forming the nucleus of a museum which is to be called the Crichton Museum, and so perpetuate the founder's name. Such various forms does man's vanity take! Sometimes it stimulates philanthropy; sometimes a love of science!"
"Don’t rush to feel happy! It just means trouble for him. Didn’t you hear about that wealthy oddball Mr. Crichton, who passed away a while ago and—probably inspired by Lord Bridgewater—left a sum of money with trustees, one of whom is my brother? They were tasked with sending someone with a thousand impressive qualifications on a scientific journey to bring back specimens of wildlife from far-off places, ultimately to create the Crichton Museum and keep the founder’s name alive. It’s interesting how vanity manifests in so many ways! Sometimes it drives charity; other times, a passion for science!"
"It seems to me a very laudable and useful object, I am sure," said Mrs. Gibson, safely.
"It seems to me like a really commendable and useful goal, I’m sure," said Mrs. Gibson with confidence.
"I daresay it is, taking it from the public-good view. But it's rather tiresome to us privately, for it keeps Hollingford in town—or between it and Cambridge—and each place as dull and empty as can be, just when we want him down at the Towers. The thing ought to have been decided long ago, and there's some danger of the legacy lapsing. The two other trustees have run away to the Continent, feeling, as they say, the utmost confidence in him, but in reality shirking their responsibilities. However, I believe he likes it, so I ought not to grumble. He thinks he is going to be very successful in the choice of his man—and he belongs to this county, too,—young Hamley of Hamley, if he can only get his college to let him go, for he is a Fellow of Trinity, senior wrangler or something; and they're not so foolish as to send their crack man to be eaten up by lions and tigers!"
"I dare say it is, looking at it from the public-good perspective. But it's pretty annoying for us personally, because it keeps Hollingford in town—or stuck between there and Cambridge—and both places are as dull and empty as ever, just when we want him down at the Towers. This should have been settled a long time ago, and there's some risk of the legacy being lost. The other two trustees have run off to the Continent, claiming they have complete confidence in him, but really they're just avoiding their responsibilities. Nevertheless, I think he enjoys it, so I shouldn't complain. He believes he's going to be very successful in choosing his candidate—and he’s from this county, too—young Hamley of Hamley, if he can just convince his college to let him go, since he's a Fellow of Trinity, senior wrangler or something; and they're not foolish enough to send their top guy to be eaten alive by lions and tigers!"
"It must be Roger Hamley!" exclaimed Cynthia, her eyes brightening, and her cheeks flushing.
"It must be Roger Hamley!" Cynthia exclaimed, her eyes lighting up and her cheeks turning red.
"He's not the eldest son; he can scarcely be called Hamley of Hamley!" said Mrs. Gibson.
"He's not the oldest son; he can hardly be called Hamley of Hamley!" said Mrs. Gibson.
"Hollingford's man is a Fellow of Trinity, as I said before."
"Hollingford's guy is a Fellow of Trinity, as I mentioned earlier."
"Then it is Mr. Roger Hamley," said Cynthia; "and he's up in London about some business! What news for Molly when she comes home!"
"Then it’s Mr. Roger Hamley," Cynthia said, "and he’s in London for some business! What news for Molly when she gets home!"
"Why, what has Molly to do with it?" asked Lady Harriet. "Is—?" and she looked into Mrs. Gibson's face for an answer. Mrs. Gibson in reply gave an intelligent and very expressive glance at Cynthia, who however did not perceive it.
"Why does Molly have anything to do with this?" asked Lady Harriet. "Is it—?" she looked into Mrs. Gibson's face for an answer. In response, Mrs. Gibson gave an intelligent and very expressive glance at Cynthia, who, however, didn’t notice it.
"Oh, no! not at all,"—and Mrs. Gibson nodded a little at her daughter, as much as to say, "If any one, that."
"Oh, no! Not at all,"—and Mrs. Gibson gave a slight nod to her daughter, as if to say, "If anyone, that."
Lady Harriet began to look at the pretty Miss Kirkpatrick with fresh interest; her brother had spoken in such a manner of this young Mr. Hamley that every one connected with the phœnix was worthy of observation. Then, as if the mention of Molly's name had brought her afresh into her mind, Lady Harriet said,—"And where is Molly all this time? I should like to see my little mentor. I hear she is very much grown since those days."
Lady Harriet started to view the lovely Miss Kirkpatrick with renewed curiosity; her brother had talked about this young Mr. Hamley in such a way that everyone related to the phœnix deserved attention. Then, as if mentioning Molly's name had sparked her memory, Lady Harriet said, "So where is Molly these days? I’d love to see my little mentor. I hear she has grown up a lot since then."
"Oh! when she once gets gossiping with the Miss Brownings, she never knows when to come home," said Mrs. Gibson.
"Oh! when she starts gossiping with the Miss Brownings, she never knows when to come home," said Mrs. Gibson.
"The Miss Brownings? Oh! I'm so glad you named them! I'm very fond of them. Pecksy and Flapsy; I may call them so in Molly's absence. I'll go and see them before I go home, and then perhaps I shall see my dear little Molly too. Do you know, Clare, I've quite taken a fancy to that girl!"
"The Miss Brownings? Oh! I'm so glad you mentioned them! I really like them. Pecksy and Flapsy; I can call them that in Molly's absence. I'll go visit them before I head home, and maybe I’ll get to see my sweet little Molly too. You know, Clare, I’ve really taken a liking to that girl!"
So Mrs. Gibson, after all her precautions, had to submit to Lady Harriet's leaving her half-an-hour earlier than she otherwise would have done in order to "make herself common" (as Mrs. Gibson expressed it) by calling on the Miss Brownings.
So Mrs. Gibson, despite all her precautions, had to accept that Lady Harriet was leaving her half an hour earlier than she normally would have to "make herself ordinary" (as Mrs. Gibson put it) by visiting the Miss Brownings.
But Molly had left before Lady Harriet arrived.
But Molly had left before Lady Harriet got there.
Molly went the long walk to the Holly Farm, to order the damsons, out of a kind of penitence. She had felt conscious of anger at being sent out of the house by such a palpable manœuvre as that which her stepmother had employed. Of course she did not meet Cynthia, so she went alone along the pretty lanes, with grassy sides and high hedge-banks not at all in the style of modern agriculture. At first she made herself uncomfortable with questioning herself as to how far it was right to leave unnoticed the small domestic failings—the webs, the distortions of truth which had prevailed in their household ever since her father's second marriage. She knew that very often she longed to protest, but did not do it, from the desire of sparing her father any discord; and she saw by his face that he, too, was occasionally aware of certain things that gave him pain, as showing that his wife's standard of conduct was not as high as he would have liked. It was a wonder to Molly whether this silence was right or wrong. With a girl's want of toleration, and want of experience to teach her the force of circumstances, and of temptation, she had often been on the point of telling her stepmother some forcible home truths. But, possibly, her father's example of silence, and often some piece of kindness on Mrs. Gibson's part (for after her way, and when in a good temper, she was very kind to Molly), made her hold her tongue.
Molly took the long walk to Holly Farm to order the damsons, feeling a bit guilty. She was aware of her anger at being sent out of the house by her stepmother's obvious maneuver. Of course, she didn’t run into Cynthia, so she walked alone along the pretty lanes with grassy edges and tall hedgerows, which felt nothing like modern farming. At first, she made herself uneasy by questioning whether it was right to ignore the small flaws in their home life—the lies and distortions that had been part of their household since her father’s second marriage. She knew that often she wanted to speak up but held back to avoid causing her father any conflict. She could see from his face that he, too, sometimes noticed things that hurt him, revealing that his wife's standards weren't as high as he wished. Molly wondered whether her silence was right or wrong. With a girl’s impatience and lack of experience to understand the impact of circumstances and temptation, she had often come close to telling her stepmother some hard truths. But perhaps her father's example of keeping quiet and occasional kindness from Mrs. Gibson (who, when in a good mood, could be very nice to Molly) kept her from speaking out.
That night at dinner, Mrs. Gibson recounted the conversation between herself and Lady Harriet, giving it a very strong individual colouring, as was her wont, and telling nearly the whole of what had passed, although implying that there was a great deal said which was so purely confidential, that she was bound in honour not to repeat it. Her three auditors listened to her without interrupting her much—indeed, without bestowing extreme attention on what she was saying, until she came to the fact of Lord Hollingford's absence in London, and the reason for it.
That night at dinner, Mrs. Gibson shared the conversation she had with Lady Harriet, adding her own flair, as she usually did, and covering almost everything that happened, while hinting that a lot was said that was confidential and she couldn’t repeat. Her three listeners let her speak without much interruption—really, without giving her their full attention—until she mentioned that Lord Hollingford was in London and the reason why.
"Roger Hamley going off on a scientific expedition!" exclaimed Mr. Gibson, suddenly awakened into vivacity.
"Roger Hamley is going off on a scientific expedition!" exclaimed Mr. Gibson, suddenly filled with energy.
"Yes. At least it is not settled finally; but as Lord Hollingford is the only trustee who takes any interest—and being Lord Cumnor's son—it is next to certain."
"Yes. At least it’s not completely decided yet; but since Lord Hollingford is the only trustee who cares—and he’s Lord Cumnor's son—it’s pretty much certain."
"I think I must have a voice in the matter," said Mr. Gibson; and he relapsed into silence, keeping his ears open, however, henceforward.
"I think I should have a say in this," said Mr. Gibson; and he fell silent, but kept his ears open from then on.
"How long will he be away?" asked Cynthia. "We shall miss him sadly."
"How long will he be gone?" asked Cynthia. "We'll really miss him."
Molly's lips formed an acquiescing "yes" to this remark, but no sound was heard. There was a buzzing in her ears as if the others were going on with the conversation, but the words they uttered seemed indistinct and blurred; they were merely conjectures, and did not interfere with the one great piece of news. To the rest of the party she appeared to be eating her dinner as usual, and, if she were silent, there was one listener the more to Mrs. Gibson's stream of prattle, and Mr. Gibson's and Cynthia's remarks.
Molly's lips formed a silent "yes" in response to this comment, but no sound came out. There was a buzzing in her ears as if everyone else continued their conversation, but their words felt unclear and mixed together; they were just guesses and didn’t distract her from the big news. To the rest of the group, she seemed to be eating her dinner just like always, and if she was quiet, it just meant there was one more listener to Mrs. Gibson's endless chatter and the comments from Mr. Gibson and Cynthia.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
BRIGHTENING PROSPECTS.
t was a day or two
afterwards, that Mr. Gibson made time to ride
round by Hamley, desirous to learn more exact particulars of this
scheme for Roger than he could obtain from any extraneous source, and
rather puzzled to know whether he should interfere in the project or
not. The state of the case was this:—Osborne's symptoms were, in Mr.
Gibson's opinion, signs of his having a fatal disease. Dr. Nicholls
had differed from him on this head, and Mr. Gibson knew that the old
physician had had long experience, and was considered very skilful in
the profession. Still he believed that he himself was right, and, if
so, the complaint was one which might continue for years in the same
state as at present, or might end the young man's life in an hour—a
minute. Supposing that Mr. Gibson was right, would it be well for
Roger to be away where no sudden calls for his presence could reach
him—away for two years? Yet if the affair was concluded, the
interference of a medical man might accelerate the very evil to be
feared; and after all, Dr. Nicholls might be right, and the symptoms
might proceed from some other cause. Might? Yes. Probably did? No.
Mr. Gibson could not bring himself to say "yes" to this latter form
of sentence. So he rode on, meditating; his reins slack, his head a
little bent. It was one of those still and lovely autumn days when
the red and yellow leaves are hanging-pegs to dewy, brilliant
gossamer-webs; when the hedges are full of trailing brambles, loaded
with ripe blackberries; when the air is full of the farewell whistles
and pipes of birds, clear and short—not the long full-throated
warbles of spring; when the whirr of the partridge's wings is heard
in the stubble-fields, as the sharp hoof-blows fall on the paved
lanes; when here and there a leaf floats and flutters down to the
ground, although there is not a single breath of wind. The country
surgeon felt the beauty of the seasons perhaps more than most men. He
saw more of it by day, by night, in storm and sunshine, or in the
still, soft, cloudy weather. He never spoke about what he felt on the
subject; indeed, he did not put his feelings into words, even to
himself. But if his mood ever approached to the sentimental, it was
on such days as this. He rode into the stable-yard,
gave his horse to a man, and went into the
house by a side entrance. In the passage he met the Squire.
A day or two later, Mr. Gibson found time to ride over to Hamley, eager to get more accurate details about Roger's situation than he could get from any outside sources, and somewhat unsure whether he should get involved in the plan or not. The situation was this: Osborne's symptoms seemed, in Mr. Gibson's view, to indicate a serious illness. Dr. Nicholls disagreed with him on this point, and Mr. Gibson was aware that the older doctor had extensive experience and was well-respected in his field. Still, he believed he was right, and if so, the condition could persist for years in its current state, or it could suddenly take the young man's life—at any moment. If Mr. Gibson was correct, would it be wise for Roger to be away where he couldn't be suddenly summoned—absent for two years? But if the matter was settled, a doctor's interference might actually worsen the situation; after all, Dr. Nicholls could be right, and the symptoms might stem from a different cause. Could it? Yes. Probably did? No. Mr. Gibson couldn't bring himself to say "yes" to that latter thought. So he continued riding, lost in thought; his reins loose, his head slightly down. It was one of those calm and beautiful autumn days when the red and yellow leaves cling to dewy, sparkling spider webs; when the hedges overflow with trailing brambles, heavy with ripe blackberries; when the air is filled with the short, clear farewell calls of birds—not the long, rich songs of spring; when you can hear the whirr of partridge wings in the stubble fields as the sharp sounds of hoofbeats hit the paved lanes; when now and then a leaf floats slowly to the ground, even with no breeze stirring. The country surgeon felt the beauty of the seasons perhaps more deeply than most people. He experienced it more in the daylight, during the night, in storms and sunshine, or in the soft, cloudy weather. He never spoke about how he felt on the matter; in fact, he didn't even put his feelings into words, even to himself. But if his mood ever turned a bit sentimental, it was on days like this. He rode into the stable yard, handed his horse to a stableman, and entered the house through a side door. In the hallway, he ran into the Squire.
"That's capital, Gibson! what good wind blew you here? You'll have some lunch? it's on the table, I only just this minute left the room." And he kept shaking Mr. Gibson's hand all the time till he had placed him, nothing loth, at the well-covered dining-table.
"That's great, Gibson! What brought you here? Want some lunch? It's on the table; I just stepped out of the room." And he kept shaking Mr. Gibson's hand the whole time until he had seated him, quite willingly, at the well-set dining table.
"What's this I hear about Roger?" said Mr. Gibson, plunging at once into the subject.
"What's this I hear about Roger?" Mr. Gibson said, diving straight into the topic.
"Aha! so you've heard, have you? It's famous, isn't it? He's a boy to be proud of, is old Roger. Steady Roger; we used to think him slow, but it seems to me that slow and sure wins the race. But tell me; what have you heard? how much is known? Nay, you must have a glass full. It's old ale, such as we don't brew now-a-days; it's as old as Osborne. We brewed it that autumn, and we called it the young squire's ale. I thought to have tapped it on his marriage, but I don't know when that will come to pass, so we've tapped it now in Roger's honour."
"Aha! So you've heard, huh? It's quite famous, right? Old Roger is a boy to be proud of. Steady Roger; we used to think he was slow, but it seems to me that slow and steady wins the race. But tell me; what have you heard? How much do you know? No, you have to have a full glass. It's old ale, the kind we don’t brew these days; it's as old as Osborne. We brewed it that autumn and called it the young squire's ale. I had planned to tap it for his wedding, but I don’t know when that will happen, so we’ve tapped it now in Roger’s honor."
The old squire had evidently been enjoying the young squire's ale to the verge of prudence. It was indeed as he said, "as strong as brandy," and Mr. Gibson had to sip it very carefully as he ate his cold roast beef.
The old squire had clearly been enjoying the young squire's beer to the point of being reckless. It was really as he said, "as strong as brandy," and Mr. Gibson had to sip it very slowly while eating his cold roast beef.
"Well! and what have you heard? There's a deal to hear, and all good news, though I shall miss the lad, I know that."
"Well! What have you heard? There's a lot to catch up on, and it’s all good news. Even though I’ll miss the kid, I know that."
"I did not know it was settled; I only heard that it was in progress."
"I didn't know it was finalized; I only heard that it was happening."
"Well, it was only in progress, as you call it, till last Tuesday. He never let me know anything about it, though; he says he thought I might be fidgety with thinking of the pros and cons. So I never knew a word on't till I had a letter from my Lord Hollingford—where is it?" pulling out a great black leathern receptacle for all manner of papers. And putting on his spectacles, he read aloud their headings.
"Well, it was only in progress, as you call it, until last Tuesday. He never told me anything about it, though; he said he thought I might get anxious thinking about the pros and cons. So I never knew a thing until I got a letter from my Lord Hollingford—where is it?" He pulled out a large black leather folder for all kinds of papers. Putting on his glasses, he read aloud their headings.
"'Measurement of timber, new railings,' 'drench for cows, from Farmer Hayes,' 'Dobson's accounts,'—'um 'um—here it is. Now read that letter," handing it to Mr. Gibson.
"'Measurement of timber, new railings,' 'drench for cows, from Farmer Hayes,' 'Dobson's accounts,'—'um 'um—here it is. Now read that letter," handing it to Mr. Gibson.
It was a manly, feeling, sensible letter, explaining to the old father in very simple language the services which were demanded by the terms of the will to which he and two or three others were trustees; the liberal allowance for expenses, the still more liberal reward for performance, which had tempted several men of considerable renown to offer themselves as candidates for the appointment. Lord Hollingford then went on to say that, having seen a good deal of Roger lately, since the publication of his article in reply to the French osteologist, he had had reason to think that in him the trustees would find united the various qualities required in a greater measure than in any of the applicants who had at that time presented themselves. Roger had deep interest in the subject; much acquired knowledge, and at the same time, great natural powers of comparison, and classification of facts; he had shown himself to be an observer of a fine and accurate kind; he was of the right age, in the very prime of health and strength, and unshackled by any family ties. Here Mr. Gibson paused for consideration. He hardly cared to ascertain by what steps the result had been arrived at—he already knew what that result was; but his mind was again arrested as his eye caught on the remuneration offered, which was indeed most liberal; and then he read with attention the high praise bestowed on the son in this letter to the father. The Squire had been watching Mr. Gibson—waiting till he came to this part—and he rubbed his hands together as he said,—
It was a straightforward and heartfelt letter, explaining to the old father in very simple terms the responsibilities required by the will to which he and a couple of others were trustees; the generous allowance for expenses and even more generous reward for performance that had tempted several well-known men to put themselves forward for the appointment. Lord Hollingford then went on to say that, having spent a lot of time with Roger lately, especially since the publication of his response to the French osteologist, he believed the trustees would find in Roger the combination of qualities needed more than in any of the other candidates who had applied at that time. Roger had a strong interest in the subject; he possessed a lot of acquired knowledge and, at the same time, great natural abilities for comparing and classifying facts. He had proven himself to be a keen and accurate observer; he was the right age, in the prime of health and strength, and free from any family obligations. Here, Mr. Gibson paused to think. He didn’t really care to find out how they reached that conclusion—he already knew what it was; but his attention was caught again when he noticed the generous compensation being offered, which was indeed quite substantial; and then he read with interest the high praise given to the son in this letter to the father. The Squire had been watching Mr. Gibson—waiting for him to get to this point—and he rubbed his hands together as he said,—
"Ay! you've come to it at last. It's the best part of the whole, isn't it? God bless the boy! and from a Whig, mind you, which makes it the more handsome. And there's more to come still. I say, Gibson, I think my luck is turning at last," passing him on yet another letter to read. "That only came this morning; but I've acted on it already, I sent for the foreman of the drainage works at once, I did; and to-morrow, please God, they'll be at work again."
"Wow! You finally made it. This is the best part, isn't it? Thank goodness for the kid! And he's a Whig, which makes it even better. And there's more on the way. Hey, Gibson, I think my luck is finally changing," passing him another letter to read. "That just arrived this morning, but I’ve already taken action; I called for the foreman of the drainage works right away, I did; and tomorrow, if all goes well, they'll be back to work."
Mr. Gibson read the second letter, from Roger. To a certain degree it was a modest repetition of what Lord Hollingford had said, with an explanation of how he had come to take so decided a step in life without consulting his father. He did not wish him to be in suspense for one reason. Another was that he felt, as no one else could feel for him, that by accepting this offer, he entered upon the kind of life for which he knew himself to be most fitted. And then he merged the whole into business. He said that he knew well the suffering his father had gone through when he had had to give up his drainage works for want of money; that he, Roger, had been enabled at once to raise money upon the remuneration he was to receive on the accomplishment of his two years' work; and that he had also insured his life, in order to provide for the repayment of the money he had raised, in case he did not live to return to England. He said that the sum he had borrowed on this security would at once be forwarded to his father.
Mr. Gibson read the second letter from Roger. To some extent, it repeated what Lord Hollingford had said, along with an explanation of how he made such a major decision in life without discussing it with his father first. He didn't want his father to remain in suspense for one reason. Another reason was that he felt, more than anyone else could understand, that by accepting this offer, he was stepping into the kind of life he knew he was best suited for. Then he shifted the focus to business. He mentioned that he understood the struggle his father faced when he had to give up his drainage projects due to a lack of funds; Roger had managed to secure money based on the salary he would receive after completing two years of work. He also said he had taken out a life insurance policy to ensure that the money he had borrowed would be repaid in case he didn't make it back to England. He stated that the amount he had borrowed would be sent to his father right away.
Mr. Gibson laid down the letter without speaking a word for some time; then he said,—"He'll have to pay a pretty sum for insuring his life beyond seas."
Mr. Gibson set the letter down without saying a word for a while; then he said, "He'll have to pay a hefty amount to insure his life overseas."
"He's got his Fellowship money," said the Squire, a little depressed at Mr. Gibson's remark.
"He's got his Fellowship money," the Squire said, feeling a bit down about Mr. Gibson's comment.
"Yes; that's true. And he's a strong young fellow, as I know."
"Yes, that's true. And he's a strong young guy, as I know."
"I wish I could tell his mother," said the Squire in an under-tone
"I wish I could tell his mom," said the Squire quietly.
"It seems all settled now," said Mr. Gibson, more in reply to his own thoughts than to the Squire's remark.
"It seems all settled now," Mr. Gibson said, more in response to his own thoughts than to the Squire's comment.
"Yes!" said the Squire; "and they're not going to let the grass grow under his feet. He's to be off as soon as he can get his scientific traps ready. I almost wish he wasn't to go. You don't seem quite to like it, doctor?"
"Yes!" said the Squire; "and they’re not going to waste any time. He’s set to leave as soon as he can pack his scientific gear. I almost wish he didn’t have to go. You don’t seem too thrilled about it, doctor?"
"Yes, I do," said Mr. Gibson in a more cheerful tone than before. "It can't be helped now without doing a mischief," thought he to himself. "Why, Squire, I think it a great honour to have such a son. I envy you, that's what I do. Here's a lad of three or four and twenty distinguishing himself in more ways than one, and as simple and affectionate at home as any fellow need to be—not a bit set up."
"Yes, I do," Mr. Gibson replied, sounding more cheerful than before. "It's too late to change anything now without causing trouble," he thought to himself. "Well, Squire, I see it as a huge honor to have such a son. I really envy you. Here's a young man, only three or four and twenty, making a name for himself in multiple ways, yet at home, he's as humble and loving as anyone could be—not at all conceited."
"Ay, ay; he's twice as much a son to me as Osborne, who has been all his life set up on nothing at all, as one may say."
"Yeah, he’s twice the son to me as Osborne, who has been supported his whole life on basically nothing."
"Come, Squire, I mustn't hear anything against Osborne; we may praise one, without hitting at the other. Osborne hasn't had the strong health which has enabled Roger to work as he has done. I met a man who knew his tutor at Trinity the other day, and of course we began cracking about Roger—it's not every day that one can reckon a senior wrangler amongst one's friends, and I'm nearly as proud of the lad as you are. This Mr. Mason told me the tutor said that only half of Roger's success was owing to his mental powers; the other half was owing to his perfect health, which enabled him to work harder and more continuously than most men without suffering. He said that in all his experience he had never known any one with an equal capacity for mental labour; and that he could come again with a fresh appetite to his studies after shorter intervals of rest than most. Now I, being a doctor, trace a good deal of his superiority to the material cause of a thoroughly good constitution, which Osborne hasn't got."
"Come on, Squire, you can’t say anything bad about Osborne; we can appreciate one without putting down the other. Osborne hasn’t had the strong health that allows Roger to work the way he does. I ran into someone who knew his tutor at Trinity recently, and of course we started talking about Roger—it's not every day you can count a senior wrangler among your friends, and I'm almost as proud of the guy as you are. This Mr. Mason told me the tutor said that only half of Roger's success came from his mental abilities; the other half came from his excellent health, which allowed him to work harder and longer than most without feeling worn out. He said that in all his experience, he had never met anyone with an equal capacity for mental effort; and that he could return to his studies with a fresh focus after shorter breaks than most. Now, as a doctor, I attribute a lot of his advantage to having a really good constitution, which Osborne doesn't have."
"Osborne might have, if he got out o' doors more," said the Squire, moodily; "but except when he can loaf into Hollingford he doesn't care to go out at all. I hope," he continued, with a glance of sudden suspicion at Mr. Gibson, "he's not after one of your girls? I don't mean any offence, you know; but he'll have the estate, and it won't be free, and he must marry money. I don't think I could allow it in Roger; but Osborne's the eldest son, you know."
"Osborne could have, if he went outside more," said the Squire, gloomily. "But other than when he can casually wander into Hollingford, he doesn't really want to go out at all. I hope," he added, with a sudden suspicious glance at Mr. Gibson, "he's not interested in one of your daughters? I don't mean any disrespect, you know; but he'll inherit the estate, and it won’t be free, so he needs to marry someone with money. I don't think I could allow that for Roger; but Osborne is the oldest son, you know."
Mr. Gibson reddened; he was offended for a moment. Then the partial truth of what the Squire said was presented to his mind, and he remembered their old friendship, so he spoke quietly, if shortly.
Mr. Gibson flushed; he felt a bit offended at first. Then the partial truth of what the Squire said came to him, and he recalled their old friendship, so he spoke calmly, though briefly.
"I don't believe there's anything of the kind going on. I'm not much at home, you know; but I've never heard or seen anything that should make me suppose that there is. When I do, I'll let you know."
"I don't think there's anything like that happening. I'm not around much, you know, but I've never heard or seen anything that would make me think so. If I do, I'll let you know."
"Now, Gibson, don't go and be offended. I'm glad for the boys to have a pleasant house to go to, and I thank you and Mrs. Gibson for making it pleasant. Only keep off love; it can come to no good. That's all. I don't believe Osborne will ever earn a farthing to keep a wife during my life, and if I were to die to-morrow, she would have to bring some money to clear the estate. And if I do speak as I shouldn't have done formerly—a little sharp or so—why, it's because I've been worried by many a care no one knows anything of."
"Now, Gibson, please don't take offense. I'm happy that the boys have a nice place to go to, and I appreciate you and Mrs. Gibson for making it so welcoming. Just stay away from love; it won't lead to anything good. That's all. I really don't think Osborne will ever make a dime to support a wife while I'm alive, and if I were to die tomorrow, she'd have to bring some money to settle the estate. And if I do speak a bit more harshly than I used to—just a little annoyed or so—it's because I've been dealing with a lot of worries that no one knows about."
"I'm not going to take offence," said Mr. Gibson, "but let us understand each other clearly. If you don't want your sons to come as much to my house as they do, tell them so yourself. I like the lads, and am glad to see them; but if they do come, you must take the consequences, whatever they are, and not blame me, or them either, for what may happen from the frequent intercourse between two young men and two young women; and what is more, though, as I said, I see nothing whatever of the kind you fear at present, and have promised to tell you of the first symptoms I do see, yet farther than that I won't go. If there's an attachment at any future time, I won't interfere."
"I'm not going to be offended," Mr. Gibson said, "but let’s be clear with each other. If you don’t want your sons coming to my house as often as they do, just let them know. I like the boys and I'm happy to see them, but if they do come, you have to accept the outcomes, whatever they may be, and not blame me or them for what might happen from the regular interactions between two young men and two young women. Also, although I don’t see anything like what you’re worried about right now and I’ve promised to let you know if I notice any signs, I won’t go any further than that. If there’s a connection in the future, I won’t step in."
"I shouldn't so much mind if Roger fell in love with your Molly. He can fight for himself, you see, and she's an uncommon nice girl. My poor wife was so fond of her," answered the Squire. "It's Osborne and the estate I'm thinking of!"
"I wouldn't really mind if Roger fell in love with your Molly. He can take care of himself, and she's a really nice girl. My poor wife thought the world of her," replied the Squire. "It's Osborne and the estate I'm worried about!"
"Well, then, tell him not to come near us. I shall be sorry, but you will be safe."
"Well, then, tell him not to come near us. I'll be sorry, but you'll be safe."
"I'll think about it; but he's difficult to manage. I've always to get my blood well up before I can speak my mind to him."
"I'll think about it; but he's hard to deal with. I always have to get myself really worked up before I can speak my mind to him."
Mr. Gibson was leaving the room, but at these words he turned and laid his hand on the Squire's arm.
Mr. Gibson was leaving the room, but at these words, he turned and placed his hand on the Squire's arm.
"Take my advice, Squire. As I said, there's no harm done as yet, as far as I know. Prevention is better than cure. Speak out, but speak gently to Osborne, and do it at once. I shall understand how it is if he doesn't show his face for some months in my house. If you speak gently to him, he'll take the advice as from a friend. If he can assure you there's no danger, of course he'll come just as usual, when he likes."
"Take my advice, Squire. Like I said, there’s been no harm done so far, as far as I know. It’s better to prevent problems than to fix them later. Talk to Osborne, but do it gently, and do it right away. I’ll understand if he doesn’t come around my house for a few months. If you approach him kindly, he’ll see it as advice from a friend. If he can reassure you that there’s no danger, he’ll come back as usual whenever he wants."
It was all very fine giving the Squire this good advice; but as Osborne had already formed the very kind of marriage his father most deprecated, it did not act quite as well as Mr. Gibson had hoped. The Squire began the conversation with unusual self-control; but he grew irritated when Osborne denied his father's right to interfere in any marriage he might contemplate; denied it with a certain degree of doggedness and weariness of the subject that drove the Squire into one of his passions; and although, on after reflection, he remembered that he had his son's promise and solemn word not to think of either Cynthia or Molly for his wife, yet the father and son had passed through one of those altercations which help to estrange men for life. Each had said bitter things to the other; and, if the brotherly affection had not been so true between Osborne and Roger, they too might have become alienated, in consequence of the Squire's exaggerated and injudicious comparison of their characters and deeds. But as Roger in his boyhood had loved Osborne too well to be jealous of the praise and love which the eldest son, the beautiful brilliant lad, had received, to the disparagement of his own plain awkwardness and slowness, so now Osborne strove against any feeling of envy or jealousy with all his might; but his efforts were conscious, Roger's had been the simple consequence of affection, and the end to poor Osborne was that he became moody and depressed in mind and body; but both father and son concealed their feelings in Roger's presence. When he came home just before sailing, busy and happy, the Squire caught his infectious energy, and Osborne looked up and was cheerful.
It was all well and good giving the Squire this solid advice, but since Osborne had already entered into the exact type of marriage his father disapproved of most, it didn’t work out quite as Mr. Gibson had hoped. The Squire started the conversation with unusual calm, but he became frustrated when Osborne insisted that his father had no right to interfere in any marriage he was considering; he denied it with a stubbornness and tiredness on the topic that pushed the Squire into one of his rages. Although he later remembered that he had his son’s promise and serious assurance not to consider either Cynthia or Molly as potential wives, the father and son went through one of those arguments that can strain relationships for a lifetime. They each said hurtful things to one another, and if the brotherly bond between Osborne and Roger hadn’t been so strong, they too might have drifted apart because of the Squire’s exaggerated and thoughtless comparisons of their characters and actions. But since Roger had loved Osborne too much in his childhood to feel jealous of the praise and affection that the eldest son, the charming and talented one, received at the expense of his own plain awkwardness and slowness, Osborne now fought against any feeling of envy or jealousy with all his strength. However, his efforts were intentional, while Roger’s had come naturally from affection, resulting in poor Osborne becoming moody and downcast in both mind and body. Still, both father and son hid their feelings in Roger’s presence. When he came home just before leaving, busy and happy, the Squire caught his contagious energy, and Osborne looked up and felt cheerful.
There was no time to be lost. He was bound to a hot climate, and must take all advantage possible of the winter months. He was to go first to Paris, to have interviews with some of the scientific men there. Some of his outfit, instruments, &c., were to follow him to Havre, from which port he was to embark, after transacting his business in Paris. The Squire learnt all his arrangements and plans, and even tried in after-dinner conversations to penetrate into the questions involved in the researches his son was about to make. But Roger's visit home could not be prolonged beyond two days.
There was no time to waste. He was headed to a hot climate and needed to make the most of the winter months. First, he was going to Paris to meet with some scientists there. Some of his gear, instruments, etc., were to be sent to Havre, from which port he would set sail after finishing his business in Paris. The Squire learned all of his arrangements and plans and even tried during after-dinner conversations to dig into the questions involved in the research his son was about to conduct. But Roger's visit home couldn't last more than two days.
The last day he rode into Hollingford earlier than he needed to have done to catch the London coach, in order to bid the Gibsons good-by. He had been too actively busy for some time to have leisure to bestow much thought on Cynthia; but there was no need for fresh meditation on that subject. Her image as a prize to be worked for, to be served for seven years, and seven years more, was safe and sacred in his heart. It was very bad, this going away, and wishing her good-by for two long years; and he wondered much during his ride how far he should be justified in telling her mother, perhaps in telling her own sweet self, what his feelings were without expecting, nay, indeed reprobating, any answer on her part. Then she would know at any rate how dearly she was beloved by one who was absent; how in all difficulties or dangers the thought of her would be a polar star, high up in the heavens, and so on, and so on; for with all a lover's quickness of imagination and triteness of fancy, he called her a star, a flower, a nymph, a witch, an angel, or a mermaid, a nightingale, a siren, as one or another of her attributes rose up before him.
The last day he rode into Hollingford earlier than he needed to in order to catch the London coach, so he could say goodbye to the Gibsons. He had been too busy for a while to really think about Cynthia, but he didn’t need to spend more time on that. The idea of her as a prize to be worked for, to be served for seven years, and another seven years, was secure and cherished in his heart. It was tough to leave, saying goodbye for two long years; and as he rode, he wondered how much he should share with her mother, maybe even with her, about his feelings without expecting, or even hoping for, any response from her. Still, she would at least know how deeply she was loved by someone far away; how in all challenges or dangers, the thought of her would be a guiding star, high in the sky, and so on; for with all the creativity of a lover's imagination, he called her a star, a flower, a spirit, a witch, an angel, or a mermaid, a nightingale, a siren, depending on which of her qualities came to mind.
CHAPTER XXXIV.
A LOVER'S MISTAKE.
It was afternoon. Molly had gone out for a walk. Mrs. Gibson had been paying some calls. Lazy Cynthia had declined accompanying either. A daily walk was not a necessity to her as it was to Molly. On a lovely day, or with an agreeable object, or when the fancy took her, she could go as far as any one; but these were exceptional cases; in general, she was not disposed to disturb herself from her in-door occupations. Indeed, not one of the ladies would have left the house, had they been aware that Roger was in the neighbourhood; for they were aware that he was to come down but once before his departure, and that his stay at home then would be but for a short time, and they were all anxious to wish him good-by before his long absence. But they had understood that he was not coming to the Hall until the following week, and therefore they had felt themselves at full liberty this afternoon to follow their own devices.
It was afternoon. Molly had gone out for a walk. Mrs. Gibson had been visiting some friends. Lazy Cynthia had refused to join either of them. A daily walk wasn’t a necessity for her like it was for Molly. On a beautiful day, or if there was something interesting to do, or when she felt like it, she could walk as far as anyone; but those were rare occasions; generally, she didn’t want to interrupt her indoor activities. In fact, none of the ladies would have left the house if they had known that Roger was in the area; they knew he would only be home once before he left, and that his time at home would be short, and they all wanted to say goodbye before his long absence. But they had thought he wasn't coming to the Hall until the following week, so they felt free to do whatever they wanted that afternoon.
Molly chose a walk that had been a favourite with her ever since she was a child. Something or other had happened just before she left home that made her begin wondering how far it was right for the sake of domestic peace to pass over without comment the little deviations from right that people perceive in those whom they live with. Or whether, as they are placed in families for distinct purposes, not by chance merely, there are not duties involved in this aspect of their lot in life,—whether by continually passing over failings, their own standard is not lowered,—the practical application of these thoughts being a dismal sort of perplexity on Molly's part as to whether her father was quite aware of her stepmother's perpetual lapses from truth; and whether his blindness was wilful or not. Then she felt bitterly enough that although she was sure as could be that there was no real estrangement between her and her father, yet there were perpetual obstacles thrown in the way of their intercourse; and she thought with a sigh that if he would but come in with authority, he might cut his way clear to the old intimacy with his daughter, and that they might have all the former walks and talks, and quips and cranks, and glimpses of real confidence once again; things that her stepmother did not value, yet which she, like the dog in the manger, prevented Molly's enjoying. But after all Molly was a girl, not so far removed from childhood; and in the middle of her grave regrets and perplexities, her eye was caught by the sight of some fine ripe blackberries flourishing away high up on the hedge-bank among scarlet hips and green and russet leaves. She did not care much for blackberries herself; but she had heard Cynthia say that she liked them; and besides there was the charm of scrambling and gathering them; so she forgot all about her troubles, and went climbing up the banks, and clutching at her almost inaccessible prizes, and slipping down again triumphant, to carry them back to the large leaf which was to serve her as a basket. One or two of them she tasted, but they were as vapid to her palate as ever. The skirt of her pretty print gown was torn out of the gathers, and even with the fruit she had eaten "her pretty lips with blackberries were all besmeared and dyed," when having gathered as many and more than she could possibly carry, she set off home, hoping to escape into her room and mend her gown before it had offended Mrs. Gibson's neat eye. The front door was easily opened from the outside, and Molly was out of the clear light of the open air and in the shadow of the hall, when she saw a face peep out of the dining-room before she quite recognized whose it was; and then Mrs. Gibson came softly out, sufficiently at least to beckon her into the room. When Molly had entered Mrs. Gibson closed the door. Poor Molly expected a reprimand for her torn gown and untidy appearance, but was soon relieved by the expression of Mrs. Gibson's face—mysterious and radiant.
Molly chose a walk that had been a favorite of hers ever since she was a child. Something had happened just before she left home that made her start questioning how far it was okay, for the sake of keeping the peace at home, to ignore the little wrongs that people notice in those they live with. She wondered if, since they are placed in families for specific reasons, not just randomly, there are responsibilities connected to this part of their lives—if by continually overlooking faults, they aren’t lowering their own standards. These thoughts left Molly feeling pretty down about whether her father was truly aware of her stepmother's constant lies and whether his ignorance was intentional. She felt bitterly that, while she was sure there was no real distance between her and her father, there were constant barriers affecting their relationship. She sighed, thinking that if he would just step in with authority, he could easily restore the close bond they once had, bringing back their old walks and talks, jokes and moments of genuine trust—things her stepmother didn’t appreciate, yet blocked Molly from enjoying. But after all, Molly was still a girl, not too far removed from childhood; and in the middle of her serious worries, her eye was caught by the sight of some beautiful ripe blackberries thriving high up on the hedgerow among bright red rose hips and green and brown leaves. She didn’t care much for blackberries herself, but she had heard Cynthia say she liked them; plus, there was the thrill of climbing and picking them, so she forgot all her troubles and scrambled up the banks, reaching for the almost unreachable berries and slipping down again, triumphant, to carry them back on a large leaf she was using as a basket. She tasted one or two, but they still tasted as bland to her as ever. The skirt of her pretty patterned dress was torn, and even with the fruit she had eaten "her pretty lips were all smeared and stained with blackberries," when, after gathering as many as she could carry, she headed home, hoping to sneak into her room and fix her dress before it caught Mrs. Gibson's neat eye. The front door was easy to open from the outside, and Molly stepped out of the bright sunlight into the shadow of the hall when she noticed a face peeking out from the dining room before she recognized who it was; then Mrs. Gibson came softly out, at least enough to gesture her inside the room. Once Molly entered, Mrs. Gibson closed the door. Poor Molly expected a scolding for her torn dress and messy appearance but was soon relieved by the look on Mrs. Gibson's face—mysterious and glowing.
"I've been watching for you, dear. Don't go upstairs into the drawing-room, love. It might be a little interruption just now. Roger Hamley is there with Cynthia; and I've reason to think—in fact I did open the door unawares, but I shut it again softly, and I don't think they heard me. Isn't it charming? Young love, you know, ah, how sweet it is!"
"I’ve been waiting for you, darling. Don’t go upstairs to the drawing-room, sweetheart. It might be a bit awkward right now. Roger Hamley is up there with Cynthia; and I have a feeling—in fact, I accidentally opened the door but then quietly closed it again, and I don’t think they noticed me. Isn’t it lovely? Young love, you know, oh, how sweet it is!"
"Do you mean that Roger has proposed to Cynthia?" asked Molly.
"Are you saying that Roger proposed to Cynthia?" asked Molly.
"Not exactly that. But I don't know; of course I know nothing. Only I did hear him say that he had meant to leave England without speaking of his love, but that the temptation of seeing her alone had been too great for him. It was symptomatic, was it not, my dear? And all I wanted was to let it come to a crisis without interruption. So I've been watching for you to prevent your going in and disturbing them."
"Not quite that. But I don’t know; of course, I know nothing. I did hear him say that he had intended to leave England without mentioning his love, but the temptation of seeing her alone was just too strong for him. Wasn’t that telling, my dear? All I wanted was to let things reach a breaking point without any interruptions. So I’ve been waiting for you to stop you from going in and interrupting them."
"But I may go to my own room, mayn't I," pleaded Molly.
"But I can go to my own room, right?" Molly pleaded.
"Of course," said Mrs. Gibson, a little testily. "Only I had expected sympathy from you at such an interesting moment."
"Of course," said Mrs. Gibson, a bit annoyed. "I just thought I'd get some understanding from you at such an interesting time."
But Molly did not hear these last words. She had escaped upstairs, and shut her door. Instinctively she had carried her leaf full of blackberries—what would blackberries be to Cynthia now? She felt as if she could not understand it all; but as for that matter, what could she understand? Nothing. For a few minutes her brain seemed in too great a whirl to comprehend anything but that she was being carried on in earth's diurnal course, with rocks, and stones, and trees, with as little volition on her part as if she were dead. Then the room grew stifling, and instinctively she went to the open casement window, and leant out, gasping for breath. Gradually the consciousness of the soft peaceful landscape stole into her mind, and stilled the buzzing confusion. There, bathed in the almost level rays of the autumn sunlight, lay the landscape she had known and loved from childhood; as quiet, as full of low humming life as it had been at this hour for many generations. The autumn flowers blazed out in the garden below, the lazy cows were in the meadow beyond, chewing their cud in the green aftermath; the evening fires had just been made up in the cottages beyond, in preparation for the husband's home-coming, and were sending up soft curls of blue smoke into the still air; the children, let loose from school, were shouting merrily in the distance, and she— Just then she heard nearer sounds; an opened door, steps on the lower flight of stairs. He could not have gone without even seeing her. He never, never would have done so cruel a thing—never would have forgotten poor little Molly, however happy he might be! No! there were steps and voices, and the drawing-room door was opened and shut once more. She laid down her head on her arms that rested upon the window-sill, and cried,—she had been so distrustful as to have let the idea enter her mind that he could go without wishing her good-by—her, whom his mother had so loved, and called by the name of his little dead sister. And as she thought of the tender love Mrs. Hamley had borne her she cried the more, for the vanishing of such love for her off the face of the earth. Suddenly the drawing-room door opened, and some one was heard coming upstairs; it was Cynthia's step. Molly hastily wiped her eyes, and stood up and tried to look unconcerned; it was all she had time to do before Cynthia, after a little pause at the closed door, had knocked; and on an answer being given, had said, without opening the door,—"Molly! Mr. Roger Hamley is here, and wants to wish you good-by before he goes." Then she went downstairs again, as if anxious just at that moment to avoid even so short a tête-à-tête with Molly. With a gulp and a fit of resolution, as a child makes up its mind to swallow a nauseous dose of medicine, Molly went instantly downstairs.
But Molly didn’t hear those last words. She had run upstairs and shut her door. Instinctively, she had taken her leaf full of blackberries—what would blackberries mean to Cynthia now? She felt like she couldn’t make sense of it all; but honestly, what could she understand? Nothing. For a few minutes, her mind felt too overwhelmed to grasp anything other than that she was being carried along in the world’s daily routine, with rocks, stones, and trees, as if she had no control, as if she were dead. Then the room felt suffocating, and instinctively she went to the open window and leaned out, gasping for air. Slowly, the awareness of the soft, peaceful landscape seeped into her mind and calmed the buzzing confusion. There, bathed in the almost horizontal rays of the autumn sunlight, lay the landscape she had known and loved since childhood; just as quiet, full of low humming life as it had been at this hour for many generations. The autumn flowers brightly bloomed in the garden below, the lazy cows were in the meadow beyond, chewing their cud in the green aftermath; the evening fires had just been lit in the cottages nearby, preparing for the husbands’ return home, sending up soft curls of blue smoke into the still air; the children, released from school, were happily shouting in the distance, and her— Just then she heard closer sounds; a door opening, footsteps on the lower stairs. He couldn’t have left without even seeing her. He would never, ever do something so cruel—he would never forget poor little Molly, no matter how happy he might be! No! There were footsteps and voices, and the drawing-room door opened and shut once more. She laid her head on her arms resting on the windowsill and cried—she had been so anxious that she allowed the thought to cross her mind that he could leave without saying goodbye—her, whom his mother had loved so much and called by the name of his little dead sister. And as she remembered Mrs. Hamley’s loving kindness towards her, she cried even more, for the loss of such love from the world. Suddenly, the drawing-room door opened, and someone was heard coming upstairs; it was Cynthia’s step. Molly quickly wiped her eyes, stood up, and tried to look casual; it was all she had time to do before Cynthia, after a brief pause at the closed door, knocked, and when an answer was given, said without opening the door, "Molly! Mr. Roger Hamley is here and wants to say goodbye to you before he leaves." Then she went downstairs again, as if she were anxious to avoid even such a brief chat with Molly. With a gulp and a burst of determination, like a child bracing to swallow a yucky dose of medicine, Molly went straight downstairs.
Roger was talking earnestly to Mrs. Gibson in the bow of the window when Molly entered; Cynthia was standing near, listening, but taking no part in the conversation. Her eyes were downcast, and she did not look up as Molly drew shyly near.
Roger was having a serious conversation with Mrs. Gibson by the window when Molly walked in; Cynthia was nearby, listening without joining in. Her gaze was fixed on the floor, and she didn’t look up as Molly approached timidly.
Roger was saying,—"I could never forgive myself if I had accepted a pledge from her. She shall be free until my return; but the hope, the words, her sweet goodness, have made me happy beyond description. Oh, Molly!" suddenly becoming aware of her presence, and turning to her, and taking her hand in both of his,—"I think you have long guessed my secret, have you not? I once thought of speaking to you before I left, and confiding it all to you. But the temptation has been too great,—I have told Cynthia how fondly I love her, as far as words can tell; and she says—" then he looked at Cynthia with passionate delight, and seemed to forget in that gaze that he had left his sentence to Molly half finished.
Roger was saying, “I could never forgive myself if I accepted a promise from her. She will be free until I come back; but the hope, the words, her sweet kindness have made me happier than I can describe. Oh, Molly!” He suddenly noticed her presence, turned to her, and took her hand in both of his. “I think you’ve guessed my secret for a while now, haven’t you? I once thought about talking to you before I left and telling you everything. But the temptation was too strong—I told Cynthia just how deeply I love her, as much as words can express; and she says—” Then he looked at Cynthia with passionate joy, seeming to forget in that gaze that he had left his sentence to Molly unfinished.
Cynthia did not seem inclined to repeat her saying, whatever it was, but her mother spoke for her.
Cynthia didn't seem interested in repeating what she said, whatever it was, but her mother spoke for her.
"My dear sweet girl values your love as it ought to be valued, I am sure. And I believe," looking at Cynthia and Roger with intelligent archness, "I could tell tales as to the cause of her indisposition in the spring."
"My dear sweet girl appreciates your love as it should be appreciated, I'm sure. And I believe," looking at Cynthia and Roger with knowing mischief, "I could share stories about the reason for her sickness in the spring."
"Mother," said Cynthia suddenly, "you know it was no such thing. Pray don't invent stories about me. I have engaged myself to Mr. Roger Hamley, and that is enough."
"Mom," Cynthia said suddenly, "you know that’s not true. Please don’t make up stories about me. I’m engaged to Mr. Roger Hamley, and that’s all that matters."
"Enough! more than enough!" said Roger. "I will not accept your pledge. I am bound, but you are free. I like to feel bound, it makes me happy and at peace, but with all the chances involved in the next two years, you must not shackle yourself by promises."
"That's enough! Way more than enough!" said Roger. "I won’t accept your promise. I'm tied down, but you’re free. I like being tied down; it makes me happy and at peace. But with everything that could happen over the next two years, you shouldn’t limit yourself with promises."
Cynthia did not speak at once; she was evidently revolving something in her own mind. Mrs. Gibson took up the word.
Cynthia didn’t respond right away; she was clearly thinking about something. Mrs. Gibson took over the conversation.
"You are very generous, I am sure. Perhaps it will be better not to mention it."
"You’re really generous, I’m sure. Maybe it’s best not to bring it up."
"I would much rather have it kept a secret," said Cynthia, interrupting.
"I'd much rather keep it a secret," Cynthia said, interrupting.
"Certainly, my dear love. That was just what I was going to say. I once knew a young lady who heard of the death of a young man in America, whom she had known pretty well; and she immediately said she had been engaged to him, and even went so far as to put on weeds; and it was a false report, for he came back well and merry, and declared to everybody he had never so much as thought about her. So it was very awkward for her. These things had much better be kept secret until the proper time has come for divulging them."
"Of course, my dear. That’s exactly what I was going to say. I once knew a young woman who heard about the death of a young man in America, someone she knew pretty well; she immediately claimed she had been engaged to him and even went so far as to wear mourning clothes. But it turned out to be a false report because he returned, happy and healthy, and told everyone he had never thought about her at all. So it became quite embarrassing for her. It’s usually better to keep these things private until the right time to share them comes."
Even then and there Cynthia could not resist the temptation of saying,—"Mamma, I will promise you I won't put on weeds, whatever reports come of Mr. Roger Hamley."
Even then and there, Cynthia couldn’t resist the urge to say, "Mom, I promise I won’t wear black, no matter what rumors come out about Mr. Roger Hamley."
"Roger, please!" he put in, in a tender whisper.
"Roger, please!" he said softly, in a gentle whisper.
"And you will all be witnesses that he has professed to think of me, if he is tempted afterwards to deny the fact. But at the same time I wish it to be kept a secret until his return—and I am sure you will all be so kind as to attend to my wish. Please, Roger! Please, Molly! Mamma, I must especially beg it of you!"
"And you will all see that he has said he thinks of me, if he later tries to deny it. But I want this to stay a secret until he comes back—and I'm sure you all will be nice enough to respect my wish. Please, Roger! Please, Molly! Mom, I especially need to ask you for this!"
Roger would have granted anything when she asked him by that name, and in that tone. He took her hand in silent pledge of his reply. Molly felt as if she could never bring herself to name the affair as a common piece of news. So it was only Mrs. Gibson that answered aloud,—
Roger would have agreed to anything when she called him by that name and used that tone. He took her hand as a silent promise of his answer. Molly felt like she could never bring herself to call the affair just a regular piece of news. So it was only Mrs. Gibson who spoke up.
"My dear child! why 'especially' to poor me? You know I'm the most trustworthy person alive!"
"My dear child! Why 'especially' to poor me? You know I'm the most trustworthy person around!"
The little pendule on the chimney-piece struck the half-hour.
The small clock on the mantelpiece chimed half past.
"I must go!" said Roger, in dismay. "I had no idea it was so late. I shall write from Paris. The coach will be at the George by this time, and will only stay five minutes. Dearest Cynthia—" he took her hand, and then, as if the temptation was irresistible, he drew her to him and kissed her. "Only remember you are free!" said he, as he released her and passed on to Mrs. Gibson.
"I have to go!" Roger said, looking upset. "I didn’t realize it was so late. I’ll write from Paris. The coach will be at the George by now and will only stay for five minutes. Dearest Cynthia—" he took her hand, and then, as if he couldn't help himself, he pulled her close and kissed her. "Just remember that you’re free!" he said as he let her go and moved on to Mrs. Gibson.
"If I had considered myself free," said Cynthia, blushing a little, but ready with her repartee to the last,—"if I had thought myself free, do you think I would have allowed that?"
"If I had thought of myself as free," said Cynthia, blushing slightly, but quick with her comeback to the end, "if I had believed I was free, do you really think I would have let that happen?"
Then Molly's turn came, and the old brotherly tenderness came back into his look, his voice, his bearing.
Then it was Molly's turn, and the old brotherly affection returned to his expression, his voice, and his demeanor.
"Molly! you won't forget me, I know; I shall never forget you, nor your goodness to—her." His voice began to quiver, and it was best to be gone. Mrs. Gibson was pouring out, unheard and unheeded, words of farewell; Cynthia was re-arranging some flowers in a vase on the table, the defects in which had caught her artistic eye, without the consciousness penetrating to her mind. Molly stood, numb to the heart; neither glad nor sorry, nor anything but stunned. She felt the slackened touch of the warm grasping hand; she looked up—for till now her eyes had been downcast, as if there were heavy weights to their lids—and the place was empty where he had been; his quick step was heard on the stair, the front door was opened and shut; and then as quick as lightning Molly ran up to the front attic—the lumber-room, whose window commanded the street down which he must pass. The window-clasp was unused and stiff, Molly tugged at it—unless it was open, and her head put out, that last chance would be gone.
“Molly! You won’t forget me, I know; I will never forget you or your kindness to—her.” His voice started to tremble, and it was best to leave. Mrs. Gibson was quietly saying her goodbyes, her words going unheard; Cynthia was adjusting some flowers in a vase on the table, noticing its flaws without really thinking about it. Molly stood there, feeling numb; she wasn’t glad or sad, just overwhelmed. She felt the warm, grasping hand loosen its hold; she looked up—until now, her gaze had been down as if it were weighed down by something heavy—and the spot where he had been was empty; she could hear his quick footsteps on the stairs, the front door opening and closing; and then, as fast as lightning, Molly rushed up to the front attic—the storage room, whose window overlooked the street he had to pass. The window latch was stiff and unused, and Molly yanked at it—if it wasn’t open, and her head wasn’t out there, that last chance would be lost.
"I must see him again; I must! I must!" she wailed out, as she was pulling. There he was, running hard to catch the London coach; his luggage had been left at the George before he came up to wish the Gibsons good-by. In all his hurry, Molly saw him turn round and shade his eyes from the level rays of the westering sun, and rake the house with his glances—in hopes, she knew, of catching one more glimpse of Cynthia. But apparently he saw no one, not even Molly at the attic casement; for she had drawn back when he had turned, and kept herself in shadow; for she had no right to put herself forward as the one to watch and yearn for farewell signs. None came—another moment—he was out of sight for years!
"I have to see him again; I have to! I have to!" she cried out as she was pulling. There he was, running hard to catch the London coach; he had left his luggage at the George before coming up to say goodbye to the Gibsons. In all his haste, Molly saw him turn around and shield his eyes from the low rays of the setting sun, scanning the house with his gaze—hoping, she knew, to catch one last glimpse of Cynthia. But it seemed he saw no one, not even Molly at the attic window; she had pulled back when he turned and kept herself in the shadows, knowing she had no right to stand out as the one longing for farewell signals. None came—another moment—and he was out of sight for years!
She shut the window softly, and shivered all over. She left the attic and went to her own room; but she did not begin to take off her out-of-door things till she heard Cynthia's foot on the stairs. Then she hastily went to the toilet-table, and began to untie her bonnet-strings; but they were in a knot, and took time to undo. Cynthia's step stopped at Molly's door; she opened it a little and said,—"May I come in, Molly?"
She closed the window gently and shivered all over. She left the attic and went to her own room, but she didn’t start taking off her outdoor clothes until she heard Cynthia’s footsteps on the stairs. Then she rushed to the vanity and started to untie her bonnet strings, but they were knotted and took a while to get undone. Cynthia’s footsteps paused at Molly's door; she opened it slightly and said, "Can I come in, Molly?"
"Certainly," said Molly, longing to be able to say "No" all the time. Molly did not turn to meet her, so Cynthia came up behind her, and putting her two hands round Molly's waist, peeped over her shoulder, putting out her lips to be kissed. Molly could not resist the action—the mute entreaty for a caress. But, in the moment before, she had caught the reflection of the two faces in the glass; her own, red-eyed, pale, with lips dyed with blackberry juice, her curls tangled, her bonnet pulled awry, her gown torn—and contrasted it with Cynthia's brightness and bloom, and the trim elegance of her dress. "Oh! it is no wonder!" thought poor Molly, as she turned round, and put her arms round Cynthia, and laid her head for an instant on her shoulder—the weary, aching head that sought a loving pillow in that supreme moment! The next she had raised herself, and taken Cynthia's two hands, and was holding her off a little, the better to read her face.
"Sure," Molly said, wishing she could just say "No" all the time. Molly didn’t turn to face her, so Cynthia came up behind her, wrapped her arms around Molly's waist, peeked over her shoulder, and puckered her lips for a kiss. Molly couldn’t help but respond to that silent plea for affection. But just before that, she had caught a glimpse of their reflections in the glass; her own face was red-eyed, pale, lips stained with blackberry juice, hair messy, bonnet askew, and dress torn—compared to Cynthia's vibrant glow and the neat elegance of her outfit. "Oh! No wonder!" Molly thought sadly as she turned and hugged Cynthia, resting her weary, aching head against her shoulder for a moment, seeking comfort in that precious instant! The next moment, she lifted her head, took Cynthia’s hands, and held her a bit farther away to get a better look at her face.
"Cynthia! you do love him dearly, don't you?"
"Cynthia! You really love him, don’t you?"
Cynthia winced a little aside from the penetrating steadiness of those eyes.
Cynthia flinched slightly from the intense gaze of those eyes.
"You speak with all the solemnity of an adjuration, Molly!" said she, laughing a little at first to cover her nervousness, and then looking up at Molly. "Don't you think I've given a proof of it? But you know I've often told you I've not the gift of loving; I said pretty much the same thing to him. I can respect, and I fancy I can admire, and I can like, but I never feel carried off my feet by love for any one, not even for you, little Molly, and I'm sure I love you more than—"
"You speak so seriously, Molly!" she said, laughing a bit at first to hide her nerves, then looking up at Molly. "Don't you think I've shown that? But you know I've told you many times that I can't really love; I said almost the same thing to him. I can respect, and I think I can admire, and I can like, but I've never been swept away by love for anyone, not even for you, little Molly, and I'm sure I love you more than—"
"No, don't!" said Molly, putting her hand before Cynthia's mouth, in almost a passion of impatience. "Don't, don't—I won't hear you—I ought not to have asked you—it makes you tell lies!"
"No, don't!" Molly said, putting her hand over Cynthia's mouth, almost out of impatience. "Don't, don't—I won't listen to you—I shouldn't have asked you—it just makes you lie!"
"Why, Molly!" said Cynthia, in her turn seeking to read Molly's face, "what's the matter with you? One might think you cared for him yourself."
"Why, Molly!" Cynthia said, trying to gauge Molly's expression. "What’s wrong with you? You’d think you had feelings for him yourself."
"I?" said Molly, all the blood rushing to her heart suddenly; then it returned, and she had courage to speak, and she spoke the truth as she believed it, though not the real actual truth.
"I?" said Molly, her heart racing suddenly; then it settled down, and she found the courage to speak. She shared the truth as she saw it, even though it wasn't the whole truth.
"I do care for him; I think you have won the love of a prince amongst men. Why, I am proud to remember that he has been to me as a brother, and I love him as a sister, and I love you doubly because he has honoured you with his love."
"I care about him; I believe you have captured the heart of a prince among men. I'm proud to remember that he has been like a brother to me, and I love him like a sister, and I love you even more because he has chosen to love you."
"Come, that's not complimentary!" said Cynthia, laughing, but not ill-pleased to hear her lover's praises, and even willing to depreciate him a little in order to hear more.
"Come on, that’s not nice!" said Cynthia, laughing but secretly happy to hear her lover's compliments, and even ready to downplay him a bit just to hear more.
"He's well enough, I daresay, and a great deal too learned and clever for a stupid girl like me; but even you must acknowledge he's very plain and awkward; and I like pretty things and pretty people."
"He's fine, I guess, and way too smart and clever for a silly girl like me; but even you have to admit he's really plain and awkward; and I like attractive things and attractive people."
"Cynthia, I won't talk to you about him. You know you don't mean what you are saying, and you only say it out of contradiction, because I praise him. He shan't be run down by you, even in joke."
"Cynthia, I’m not going to discuss him with you. You know you don’t actually mean what you’re saying, and you’re just saying it to be contrary because I praise him. You won’t put him down, even as a joke."
"Well, then, we won't talk of him at all. I was so surprised when he began to speak—so—" and Cynthia looked very lovely, blushing and dimpling up as she remembered his words and looks. Suddenly she recalled herself to the present time, and her eye caught on the leaf full of blackberries—the broad, green leaf, so fresh and crisp when Molly had gathered it an hour or so ago, but now soft and flabby, and dying. Molly saw it, too, and felt a strange kind of sympathetic pity for the poor inanimate leaf.
"Alright, then, we won’t mention him at all. I was really surprised when he started to speak—so— and Cynthia looked beautiful, blushing and smiling as she thought back to his words and looks. Suddenly, she brought herself back to the present, and her eyes landed on the leaf full of blackberries—the wide, green leaf, so fresh and crisp when Molly had picked it about an hour ago, but now soft and wilted, and dying. Molly noticed it too and felt an odd sense of sympathetic pity for the poor lifeless leaf.
"Oh! what blackberries! you've gathered them for me, I know!" said Cynthia, sitting down and beginning to feed herself daintily, touching them lightly with the ends of her taper fingers, and dropping each ripe berry into her open mouth. When she had eaten about half she stopped suddenly short.
"Oh! These blackberries are amazing! I know you picked them for me!" said Cynthia, sitting down and delicately feeding herself, gently touching the berries with the tips of her slender fingers and dropping each ripe one into her mouth. After eating about half, she suddenly stopped short.
"How I should like to have gone as far as Paris with him!" she exclaimed. "I suppose it wouldn't have been proper; but how pleasant it would have been! I remember at Boulogne" (another blackberry), "how I used to envy the English who were going to Paris; it seemed to me then as if nobody stopped at Boulogne, but dull, stupid school-girls."
"How I wish I could have gone all the way to Paris with him!" she exclaimed. "I guess it wouldn't have been right, but it would have been so much fun! I remember in Boulogne" (another blackberry), "how I used to envy the English who were heading to Paris; it felt like nobody ever stayed in Boulogne except for boring, clueless schoolgirls."
"When will he be there?" asked Molly.
"When will he get here?" asked Molly.
"On Wednesday, he said. I'm to write to him there; at any rate he's going to write to me."
"On Wednesday, he said. I should write to him there; either way, he's going to write to me."
Molly went about the adjustment of her dress in a quiet, business-like manner, not speaking much; Cynthia, although sitting still, seemed very restless. Oh! how much Molly wished that she would go.
Molly adjusted her dress calmly and efficiently, not saying much; Cynthia, though sitting still, appeared very restless. Oh! how much Molly wished she would just leave.
"Perhaps, after all," said Cynthia, after a pause of apparent meditation, "we shall never be married."
"Maybe, after all," said Cynthia, after a thoughtful pause, "we'll never get married."
"Why do you say that?" said Molly, almost bitterly. "You have nothing to make you think so. I wonder how you can bear to think you won't, even for a moment."
"Why do you say that?" Molly asked, almost bitterly. "You have no reason to think that. I can't believe you can handle the idea that you won't, even for a second."
"Oh!" said Cynthia; "you mustn't go and take me au grand sérieux. I daresay I don't mean what I say, but you see everything seems a dream at present. Still, I think the chances are equal—the chances for and against our marriage, I mean. Two years! it's a long time! he may change his mind, or I may; or some one else may turn up, and I may get engaged to him: what should you think of that, Molly? I'm putting such a gloomy thing as death quite on one side, you see; yet in two years how much may happen!"
"Oh!" said Cynthia, "you shouldn't take me so seriously. I probably don't mean what I say, but everything feels like a dream right now. Still, I think the chances are about equal—the chances for and against our marriage, I mean. Two years! That's a long time! He might change his mind, or I might; or someone else could come along, and I might get engaged to him: what would you think of that, Molly? I'm completely ignoring something as gloomy as death, you see; yet so much can happen in two years!"
"Don't talk so, Cynthia, please don't," said Molly, piteously. "One would think you didn't care for him, and he cares so much for you!"
"Don't say that, Cynthia, please don't," Molly said sadly. "You'd think you didn't care about him, and he cares so much about you!"
"Why, did I say I didn't care for him? I was only calculating chances. I'm sure I hope nothing will happen to prevent the marriage. Only, you know it may, and I thought I was taking a step in wisdom, in looking forward to all the evils that might befall. I'm sure all the wise people I've ever known thought it a virtue to have gloomy prognostics of the future. But you're not in a mood for wisdom or virtue, I see; so I'll go and get ready for dinner, and leave you to your vanities of dress."
"Why did I say I didn't care about him? I was just weighing the chances. I really hope nothing will come up to stop the marriage. Still, you know it could happen, and I thought I was being smart by anticipating all the possible problems. I’m sure all the wise people I’ve known believed it was a good thing to have a pessimistic view of the future. But I can tell you're not in the mood for wisdom or virtue, so I’ll go get ready for dinner and leave you to your fashion concerns."
She took Molly's face in both her hands, before Molly was aware of her intention, and kissed it playfully. Then she left Molly to herself.
She cupped Molly's face in both hands before Molly realized what she was doing and playfully kissed her. Then she left Molly alone.
CHAPTER XXXV.
THE MOTHER'S MANŒUVRE.
Mr. Gibson was not at home at dinner—detained by some patient, most probably. This was not an unusual occurrence; but it was rather an unusual occurrence for Mrs. Gibson to go down into the dining-room, and sit with him as he ate his deferred meal when he came in an hour or two later. In general, she preferred her easy-chair, or her corner of the sofa, upstairs in the drawing-room, though it was very rarely that she would allow Molly to avail herself of her stepmother's neglected privilege. Molly would fain have gone down and kept her father company every night that he had these solitary meals; but for peace and quietness she gave up her own wishes on the matter.
Mr. Gibson wasn't home for dinner—he was probably held up by a patient. This wasn’t an unusual situation, but it was a bit unusual for Mrs. Gibson to go down to the dining room and sit with him while he ate his postponed meal when he came in an hour or two later. Usually, she preferred her easy chair or her spot on the sofa upstairs in the drawing room, although she rarely let Molly take advantage of her stepmother's ignored privilege. Molly would have liked to go down and keep her father company every night he had these solo meals, but for the sake of peace and quiet, she gave up her own wishes regarding it.
Mrs. Gibson took a seat by the fire in the dining-room, and patiently waited for the auspicious moment when Mr. Gibson, having satisfied his healthy appetite, turned from the table, and took his place by her side. She got up, and with unaccustomed attention moved the wine and glasses so that he could help himself without moving from his chair.
Mrs. Gibson sat down by the fire in the dining room and patiently waited for the right moment when Mr. Gibson, after satisfying his healthy appetite, turned away from the table and took his place beside her. She stood up and, with extra care, moved the wine and glasses so he could help himself without having to get up from his chair.
"There, now! are you comfortable? for I have a great piece of news to tell you!" said she, when all was arranged.
"There you go! Are you comfortable? I have some exciting news to share with you!" she said once everything was set.
"I thought there was something on hand," said he, smiling. "Now for it!"
"I thought there was something available," he said with a smile. "Here we go!"
"Roger Hamley has been here this afternoon to bid us good-by."
"Roger Hamley came by this afternoon to say goodbye."
"Good-by! Is he gone? I didn't know he was going so soon!" exclaimed Mr. Gibson.
"Goodbye! Is he gone? I didn’t realize he was leaving so soon!" exclaimed Mr. Gibson.
"Yes: never mind, that's not it."
"Yeah: never mind, that's not it."
"But tell me; has he left this neighbourhood? I wanted to have seen him."
"But tell me, has he left this neighborhood? I wanted to see him."
"Yes, yes. He left love and regret, and all that sort of thing for you. Now let me get on with my story: he found Cynthia alone, proposed to her, and was accepted."
"Yeah, yeah. He left behind love and regret, and all that stuff for you. Now, let me continue my story: he found Cynthia by herself, proposed to her, and she said yes."
"Cynthia? Roger proposed to her, and she accepted him?" repeated Mr. Gibson, slowly.
"Cynthia? Roger proposed to her, and she said yes?" Mr. Gibson repeated slowly.
"Yes, to be sure. Why not? you speak as if it was something so very surprising."
"Yes, for sure. Why not? You talk as if it's something really surprising."
"Did I? But I am surprised. He's a very fine young fellow, and I wish Cynthia joy; but do you like it? It will have to be a very long engagement."
"Did I? I'm surprised. He's a really great guy, and I wish Cynthia happiness; but do you like him? This is going to be a really long engagement."
"Perhaps," said she, in a knowing manner.
"Maybe," she said, with an understanding look.
"At any rate he will be away for two years," said Mr. Gibson.
"Anyway, he’ll be gone for two years," said Mr. Gibson.
"A great deal may happen in two years," she replied.
"A lot can happen in two years," she replied.
"Yes! he will have to run many risks, and go into many dangers, and will come back no nearer to the power of maintaining a wife than when he went out."
"Yes! he will have to take many risks, face many dangers, and will return no closer to the ability to support a wife than when he left."
"I don't know that," she replied, still in the arch manner of one possessing superior knowledge. "A little bird did tell me that Osborne's life is not so very secure; and then—what will Roger be? Heir to the estate."
"I don't know that," she replied, still with the air of someone who thinks they know more than everyone else. "A little bird told me that Osborne's life isn't that secure; and then—what will happen to Roger? He'll be the heir to the estate."
"Who told you that about Osborne?" said he, facing round upon her, and frightening her with his sudden sternness of voice and manner. It seemed as if absolute fire came out of his long dark sombre eyes. "Who told you, I say?"
"Who told you that about Osborne?" he asked, turning to her with a sudden intensity in his voice and demeanor that startled her. It felt like pure fire was coming from his deep, dark eyes. "Who told you, I ask?"
She made a faint rally back into her former playfulness.
She made a slight comeback to her old playfulness.
"Why? can you deny it? Is it not the truth?"
"Why? Can you really deny it? Isn't that the truth?"
"I ask you again, Hyacinth, who told you that Osborne Hamley's life is in more danger than mine—or yours?"
"I ask you again, Hyacinth, who told you that Osborne Hamley's life is at greater risk than mine—or yours?"
"Oh, don't speak in that frightening way. My life is not in danger, I'm sure; nor yours either, love, I hope."
"Oh, please don’t talk like that. I'm sure my life isn't in danger; and I hope yours isn't either, darling."
He gave an impatient movement, and knocked a wine-glass off the table. For the moment she felt grateful for the diversion, and busied herself in picking up the fragments: "bits of glass were so dangerous," she said. But she was startled by a voice of command, such as she had never yet heard from her husband.
He moved impatiently and knocked a wine glass off the table. For a moment, she felt thankful for the distraction and focused on picking up the pieces: "Shards of glass can be really dangerous," she said. But she was taken aback by a commanding voice, unlike anything she had ever heard from her husband before.
"Never mind the glass. I ask you again, Hyacinth, who told you anything about Osborne Hamley's state of health?"
"Forget about the glass. I’ll ask you again, Hyacinth, who told you anything about Osborne Hamley’s health?"
"I am sure I wish no harm to him, and I daresay he is in very good health, as you say," whispered she, at last.
"I’m sure I mean him no harm, and I’d say he’s in great health, just like you said," she whispered finally.
"Who told—?" began he again, sterner than ever.
"Who said—?" he started again, sounding more serious than ever.
"Well, if you will know, and will make such a fuss about it," said she, driven to extremity, "it was you yourself—you or Dr. Nicholls, I am sure I forget which."
"Well, if you want to know and are going to make such a big deal out of it," she said, feeling pushed to her limit, "it was you—you or Dr. Nicholls. I honestly can't remember which."
"I never spoke to you on the subject, and I don't believe Nicholls did. You'd better tell me at once what you're alluding to, for I'm resolved I'll have it out before we leave this room."
"I never talked to you about this, and I don’t think Nicholls did either. You’d better tell me right now what you’re hinting at because I’m determined to get to the bottom of it before we leave this room."
"I wish I'd never married again," she said, now fairly crying, and looking round the room, as if in vain search for a mouse-hole in which to hide herself. Then, as if the sight of the door into the store-room gave her courage, she turned and faced him.
"I wish I had never gotten married again," she said, now almost in tears, glancing around the room as if she was desperately looking for a mouse hole to hide in. Then, as if seeing the door to the storage room gave her some strength, she turned and faced him.
"You should not talk your medical secrets so loud then, if you don't want people to hear them. I had to go into the store-room that day Dr. Nicholls was here; cook wanted a jar of preserve, and stopped me just as I was going out—I am sure it was for no pleasure of mine, for I was sadly afraid of stickying my gloves—it was all that you might have a comfortable dinner."
"You shouldn't speak about your medical secrets so loudly if you don't want people to hear them. I had to go into the storeroom the day Dr. Nicholls was here; the cook needed a jar of preserves and stopped me just as I was about to leave—I’m sure it wasn’t for my enjoyment because I was really worried about getting my gloves sticky—it was all so that you could have a nice dinner."
She looked as if she was going to cry again, but he gravely motioned her to go on, merely saying,—
She looked like she was about to cry again, but he serious motioned for her to continue, simply saying,
"Well! you overheard our conversation, I suppose?"
"Well! I guess you overheard our conversation?"
"Not much," she answered eagerly, almost relieved by being thus helped out in her forced confession. "Only a sentence or two."
"Not much," she replied eagerly, almost relieved to be assisted in her reluctant confession. "Just a sentence or two."
"What were they?" he asked.
"What were they?" he asked.
"Why, you had just been saying something, and Dr. Nicholls said, 'If he has got aneurism of the aorta his days are numbered.'"
"Why, you had just been saying something, and Dr. Nicholls said, 'If he has an aortic aneurysm, his days are numbered.'"
"Well. Anything more?"
"Anything else?"
"Yes; you said, 'I hope to God I may be mistaken; but there is a pretty clear indication of symptoms, in my opinion.'"
"Yes; you said, 'I hope I'm wrong; but there are some pretty clear signs, in my view.'"
"How do you know we were speaking of Osborne Hamley?" he asked; perhaps in hopes of throwing her off the scent. But as soon as she perceived that he was descending to her level of subterfuge, she took courage, and said in quite a different tone to the cowed one which she had been using:
"How do you know we were talking about Osborne Hamley?" he asked; maybe hoping to distract her. But as soon as she realized he was trying to play games with her, she gained confidence and spoke in a much bolder tone than the defeated one she had been using:
"Oh! I know. I heard his name mentioned by you both before I began to listen."
"Oh! I know. I heard you both mention his name before I started paying attention."
"Then you own you did listen?"
"Then you admit that you listened?"
"Yes," said she, hesitating a little now.
"Yeah," she said, pausing a bit now.
"And pray how do you come to remember so exactly the name of the disease spoken of?"
"And how is it that you remember the name of the disease so clearly?"
"Because I went—now don't be angry, I really can't see any harm in what I did—"
"Because I went—now don't get mad, I really don't think what I did— was wrong—"
"Then, don't deprecate anger. You went—"
"Then, don't underestimate anger. You went—"
"Into the surgery, and looked it out. Why might not I?"
"Into the surgery, and checked it out. Why shouldn’t I?"
Mr. Gibson did not answer—did not look at her. His face was very pale, and both forehead and lips were contracted. At length he roused himself, sighed, and said,—
Mr. Gibson didn’t respond—didn’t even look at her. His face was extremely pale, and both his forehead and lips were tense. Finally, he pulled himself together, sighed, and said—
"Well! I suppose as one brews one must bake."
"Well! I guess as one cooks, one must bake."
"I don't understand what you mean," pouted she.
"I don't get what you mean," she pouted.
"Perhaps not," he replied. "I suppose that it was what you heard on that occasion that made you change your behaviour to Roger Hamley? I've noticed how much more civil you were to him of late."
"Maybe not," he said. "I guess it was what you heard that made you act differently towards Roger Hamley? I've seen how much nicer you've been to him lately."
"If you mean that I have ever got to like him as much as Osborne, you are very much mistaken; no, not even though he has offered to Cynthia, and is to be my son-in-law."
"If you think I've ever liked him as much as Osborne, you're very mistaken; no, not even though he has proposed to Cynthia and is going to be my son-in-law."
"Let me know the whole affair. You overheard,—I will own that it was Osborne about whom we were speaking, though I shall have something to say about that presently—and then, if I understand you rightly, you changed your behaviour to Roger, and made him more welcome to this house than you had ever done before, regarding him as proximate heir to the Hamley estates?"
"Tell me everything that happened. You heard—I'll admit it was Osborne we were talking about, but I'll share more on that soon—and if I’m getting this right, you changed how you treated Roger and welcomed him into this house more than you ever had before, seeing him as the likely heir to the Hamley estates?"
"I don't know what you mean by 'proximate.'"
"I don't understand what you mean by 'proximate.'"
"Go into the surgery, and look into the dictionary, then," said he, losing his temper for the first time during the conversation.
"Go into the surgery and check the dictionary then," he said, losing his temper for the first time during the conversation.
"I knew," said she through sobs and tears, "that Roger had taken a fancy to Cynthia; any one might see that; and as long as Roger was only a younger son, with no profession, and nothing but his fellowship, I thought it right to discourage him, as any one would who had a grain of common sense in them; for a clumsier, more common, awkward, stupid fellow I never saw—to be called 'county,' I mean."
"I knew," she said through sobs and tears, "that Roger had a crush on Cynthia; anyone could see that. And as long as Roger was just a younger son, with no job and only his fellowship, I thought it was smart to discourage him, like anyone with a bit of common sense would. Because I've never seen a more clumsy, ordinary, awkward, stupid guy—to be called 'county,' I mean."
"Take care; you'll have to eat your words presently when you come to fancy he'll have Hamley some day."
"Be careful; you'll have to eat your words soon when you start to think he'll have Hamley someday."
"No, I shan't," said she, not perceiving his exact drift. "You are vexed now because it is not Molly he's in love with; and I call it very unjust and unfair to my poor fatherless girl. I am sure I have always tried to further Molly's interests as if she was my own daughter."
"No, I won’t," she said, not understanding his true intent. "You’re upset now because it’s not Molly he’s in love with; and I think that’s really unfair to my poor fatherless girl. I’ve always tried to support Molly’s interests as if she were my own daughter."
Mr. Gibson was too indifferent to this accusation to take any notice of it. He returned to what was of far more importance to him.
Mr. Gibson was too unconcerned about this accusation to pay it any mind. He went back to what mattered much more to him.
"The point I want to be clear about is this. Did you or did you not alter your behaviour to Roger in consequence of what you overheard of my professional conversation with Dr. Nicholls? Have you not favoured his suit to Cynthia since then, on the understanding gathered from that conversation that he stood a good chance of inheriting Hamley?"
"The point I want to clarify is this. Did you or did you not change how you acted toward Roger because of what you overheard in my conversation with Dr. Nicholls? Haven't you supported his pursuit of Cynthia since then, based on the understanding you got from that conversation that he had a good chance of inheriting Hamley?"
"I suppose I did," said she, sulkily. "And if I did, I can't see any harm in it, that I should be questioned as if I were in a witness-box. He was in love with Cynthia long before that conversation, and she liked him so much. It was not for me to cross the path of true love. I don't see how you would have a mother show her love for her child if she may not turn accidental circumstances to her advantage. Perhaps Cynthia might have died if she had been crossed in love; her poor father was consumptive."
"I guess I did," she said with a pout. "And even if I did, I don’t see why it’s a big deal that I should be questioned like I’m in a courtroom. He had feelings for Cynthia long before that talk, and she liked him a lot. It wasn’t my place to get in the way of true love. I don’t understand how a mother can show her love for her child if she can’t take advantage of unexpected situations. Maybe Cynthia could have died if she had her heart broken; her poor father was sick."
"Don't you know that all professional conversations are confidential? That it would be the most dishonourable thing possible for me to betray secrets which I learn in the exercise of my profession?"
"Don't you know that all professional conversations are confidential? It would be the most dishonorable thing for me to betray the secrets I learn while doing my job."
"Yes, of course, you."
"Absolutely, you."
"Well! and are not you and I one in all these respects? You cannot do a dishonourable act without my being inculpated in the disgrace. If it would be a deep disgrace for me to betray a professional secret, what would it be for me to trade on that knowledge?"
"Well! Aren't you and I the same in all these ways? You can't do something dishonorable without dragging me into the shame. If it would be a huge disgrace for me to betray a professional secret, how terrible would it be for me to profit from that knowledge?"
He was trying hard to be patient; but the offence was of that class which galled him insupportably.
He was trying really hard to be patient, but the offense was the kind that annoyed him beyond belief.
"I don't know what you mean by trading. Trading in a daughter's affections is the last thing I should do; and I should have thought you would be rather glad than otherwise to get Cynthia well married, and off your hands."
"I don't know what you mean by trading. Bargaining for a daughter’s love is the last thing I would do; and I thought you’d be more than happy to see Cynthia well married and out of your hair."
Mr. Gibson got up, and walked about the room, his hands in his pockets. Once or twice he began to speak, but he stopped impatiently short without going on.
Mr. Gibson got up and walked around the room with his hands in his pockets. A couple of times, he started to speak, but he cut himself off impatiently without continuing.
"I don't know what to say to you," he said at length. "You either can't or won't see what I mean. I'm glad enough to have Cynthia here. I have given her a true welcome, and I sincerely hope she will find this house as much a home as my own daughter does. But for the future I must look out of my doors, and double-lock the approaches if I am so foolish as to— However, that's past and gone; and it remains with me to prevent its recurrence as far as I can for the future. Now let us hear the present state of affairs."
"I don't know what to say to you," he finally said. "You either can't or won't understand what I mean. I'm really glad to have Cynthia here. I've welcomed her genuinely, and I truly hope she finds this house as much of a home as my own daughter does. But for the future, I need to keep an eye on things and double-check the entrances if I'm so foolish as to— Anyway, that's in the past; now it's up to me to do my best to prevent it from happening again. Now, let's hear the current situation."
"I don't think I ought to tell you anything about it. It is a secret, just as much as your mysteries are."
"I don't think I should tell you anything about it. It's a secret, just like your mysteries are."
"Very well; you have told me enough for me to act upon, which I most certainly shall do. It was only the other day I promised the Squire to let him know if I suspected anything—any love affair, or entanglement, much less an engagement, between either of his sons and our girls."
"Alright; you’ve given me enough information to take action, and I definitely will. Just the other day, I promised the Squire I'd inform him if I had any suspicions—any romantic situation, or involvement, let alone an engagement, between either of his sons and our daughters."
"But this is not an engagement; he would not let it be so; if you would only listen to me, I could tell you all. Only I do hope you won't go and tell the Squire and everybody. Cynthia did so beg that it might not be known. It is only my unfortunate frankness that has led me into this scrape. I never could keep a secret from those whom I love."
"But this isn’t an engagement; he wouldn’t allow it to be. If you would just listen to me, I could explain everything. I just hope you won’t go and tell the Squire and everyone else. Cynthia really begged me not to let it be known. It’s just my unfortunate honesty that got me into this mess. I’ve never been able to keep a secret from the people I care about."
"I must tell the Squire. I shall not mention it to any one else. And do you quite think it was consistent with your general frankness to have overheard what you did, and never to have mentioned it to me? I could have told you then that Dr. Nicholls' opinion was decidedly opposed to mine, and that he believed that the disturbance about which I consulted him on Osborne's behalf was merely temporary. Dr. Nicholls would tell you that Osborne is as likely as any man to live and marry and beget children."
"I need to tell the Squire. I won’t mention it to anyone else. And do you really think it was honest of you to overhear what you did and never bring it up with me? I could have told you back then that Dr. Nicholls strongly disagreed with me and believed that the issue I consulted him about on Osborne's behalf was just temporary. Dr. Nicholls would tell you that Osborne is just as likely as anyone to live, get married, and have kids."
If there was any skill used by Mr. Gibson so to word this speech as to conceal his own opinion, Mrs. Gibson was not sharp enough to find it out. She was dismayed, and Mr. Gibson enjoyed her dismay; it restored him to something like his usual frame of mind.
If Mr. Gibson had any skill in crafting this speech to hide his true opinion, Mrs. Gibson wasn’t sharp enough to see through it. She was taken aback, and Mr. Gibson found pleasure in her confusion; it brought him back to something resembling his normal state of mind.
"Let us review this misfortune, for I see you consider it as such," said he.
"Let’s go over this bad luck, because I can tell you see it that way," he said.
"No, not quite a misfortune," said she. "But, certainly, if I had known Dr. Nicholls' opinion—" she hesitated.
"No, not exactly a misfortune," she said. "But, definitely, if I had known Dr. Nicholls' opinion—" she paused.
"You see the advantage of always consulting me," he continued gravely. "Here is Cynthia engaged—"
"You see the benefit of always asking for my advice," he went on seriously. "Here is Cynthia in a relationship—"
"Not engaged, I told you before. He would not allow it to be considered an engagement on her part."
"Not engaged, I mentioned that before. He wouldn't let it be seen as an engagement from her side."
"Well, entangled in a love-affair with a lad of three-and-twenty, with nothing beyond his fellowship and a chance of inheriting an encumbered estate; no profession even, abroad for two years, and I must go and tell his father all about it to-morrow."
"Well, caught up in a romance with a guy who's twenty-three, with nothing but his friendship and a slim chance of inheriting a complicated estate; no job, even, away for two years, and I have to go and tell his father all about it tomorrow."
"Oh dear! Pray say that, if he dislikes it, he has only to express his opinion."
"Oh no! Please just say that if he doesn't like it, he only needs to share his thoughts."
"I don't think you can act without Cynthia in the affair. And if I am not mistaken, Cynthia will have a pretty stout will of her own on the subject."
"I don't think you can proceed without Cynthia involved. And if I'm right, Cynthia has a strong opinion about this topic."
"Oh, I don't think she cares for him very much; she is not one to be always falling in love, and she does not take things very deeply to heart. But, of course, one would not do anything abruptly; two years' absence gives one plenty of time to turn oneself in."
"Oh, I don't think she cares for him very much; she's not the type to constantly fall in love, and she doesn't take things too seriously. But, of course, you wouldn't want to act too quickly; two years of absence gives someone plenty of time to figure themselves out."
"But a little while ago we were threatened with consumption and an early death if Cynthia's affections were thwarted."
"But not long ago, we were warned of sickness and an early death if Cynthia's feelings were denied."
"Oh, you dear creature, how you remember all my silly words! It might be, you know. Poor dear Mr. Kirkpatrick was consumptive, and Cynthia may have inherited it, and a great sorrow might bring out the latent seeds. At times I am so fearful. But I daresay it is not probable, for I don't think she takes things very deeply to heart."
"Oh, you sweet thing, you remember all my silly words! It might be true, you know. Poor Mr. Kirkpatrick was sick, and Cynthia might have inherited it, and a great sadness could bring out what's already there. Sometimes I get really worried. But I guess it's not likely, since I don't think she takes things too seriously."
"Then I'm quite at liberty to give up the affair, acting as Cynthia's proxy, if the Squire disapproves of it?"
"Then I'm free to end the relationship, representing Cynthia, if the Squire doesn't approve of it?"
Poor Mrs. Gibson was in a strait at this question.
Poor Mrs. Gibson was in a tough spot with this question.
"No!" she said at last. "We cannot give it up. I am sure Cynthia would not; especially if she thought others were acting for her. And he really is very much in love. I wish he were in Osborne's place."
"No!" she said finally. "We can't give it up. I'm sure Cynthia wouldn't, especially if she thought others were making decisions for her. And he really is deeply in love. I wish he were in Osborne's position."
"Shall I tell you what I should do?" said Mr. Gibson, in real earnest. "However it may have been brought about, here are two young people in love with each other. One is as fine a young fellow as ever breathed; the other a very pretty, lively, agreeable girl. The father of the young man must be told, and it is most likely he will bluster and oppose; for there is no doubt it is an imprudent affair as far as money goes. But let them be steady and patient, and a better lot need await no young woman. I only wish it were Molly's good fortune to meet with such another."
"Should I tell you what I think we should do?" said Mr. Gibson, genuinely serious. "No matter how it happened, we have two young people in love. One is a great guy, and the other is a very pretty, lively, and charming girl. The young man's father needs to be informed, and he will probably get upset and object because it’s definitely not a wise choice financially. But if they stay determined and patient, there’s no better future ahead for any young woman. I just wish it were Molly's luck to find someone like him."
"I will try for her; I will indeed," said Mrs. Gibson, relieved by his change of tone.
"I will definitely try for her; I really will," said Mrs. Gibson, relieved by his change in tone.
"No, don't. That's one thing I forbid. I'll have no 'trying' for Molly."
"No, don't. That's one thing I won't allow. I won't have any 'trying' for Molly."
"Well, don't be angry, dear! Do you know I was quite afraid you were going to lose your temper at one time."
"Well, don't be mad, dear! Did you know I was really worried you were going to lose your cool for a moment?"
"It would have been of no use!" said he, gloomily, getting up as if to close the sitting. His wife was only too glad to make her escape. The conjugal interview had not been satisfactory to either. Mr. Gibson had been compelled to face and acknowledge the fact, that the wife he had chosen had a very different standard of conduct from that which he had upheld all his life, and had hoped to have seen inculcated in his daughter. He was more irritated than he chose to show; for there was so much of self-reproach in his irritation that he kept it to himself, brooded over it, and allowed a feeling of suspicious dissatisfaction with his wife to grow up in his mind, which extended itself by-and-by to the innocent Cynthia, and caused his manner to both mother and daughter to assume a certain curt severity, which took the latter at any rate with extreme surprise. But on the present occasion he followed his wife up to the drawing-room, and gravely congratulated the astonished Cynthia.
"It wouldn't have done any good!" he said gloomily, standing up as if to end the conversation. His wife was more than happy to make her escape. The discussion between them had left both unsatisfied. Mr. Gibson had come to terms with the fact that the wife he chose had a very different standard of behavior from the one he had upheld all his life and had hoped to instill in his daughter. He was more irritated than he wanted to admit; there was so much self-blame in his irritation that he kept it to himself, brooded over it, and let a feeling of uneasy dissatisfaction with his wife grow in his mind, which later extended to innocent Cynthia. This caused him to treat both mother and daughter with a certain sharpness that took Cynthia, at least, completely by surprise. But on this occasion, he followed his wife to the drawing-room and solemnly congratulated the astonished Cynthia.
"Has mamma told you?" said she, shooting an indignant glance at her mother. "It is hardly an engagement; and we all pledged ourselves to keep it a secret, mamma among the rest!"
"Has mom told you?" she said, giving her mother a disapproving look. "It's not really an engagement, and we all promised to keep it a secret, including you, mom!"
"But, my dearest Cynthia, you could not expect—you could not have wished me to keep a secret from my husband?" pleaded Mrs. Gibson.
"But, my dearest Cynthia, you can't expect—you couldn't have wanted me to keep a secret from my husband?" pleaded Mrs. Gibson.
"No, perhaps not. At any rate, sir," said Cynthia, turning towards him with graceful frankness, "I am glad you should know it. You have always been a most kind friend to me, and I daresay I should have told you myself, but I did not want it named; if you please, it must still be a secret. In fact, it is hardly an engagement—he" (she blushed and sparkled a little at the euphuism, which implied that there was but one "he" present in her thoughts at the moment) "would not allow me to bind myself by any promise until his return!"
"No, maybe not. Anyway, sir," said Cynthia, turning to him with graceful honesty, "I'm glad you should know. You've always been a really kind friend to me, and I imagine I would have told you myself, but I didn't want it to be mentioned; if you don't mind, it has to stay a secret. Actually, it's hardly an engagement—he" (she blushed and sparkled a little at the suggestion, which made it clear there was only one "he" on her mind at that moment) "wouldn't let me commit to any promise until he comes back!"
Mr. Gibson looked gravely at her, irresponsive to her winning looks, which at the moment reminded him too forcibly of her mother's ways. Then he took her hand, and said, seriously enough,—"I hope you are worthy of him, Cynthia, for you have indeed drawn a prize. I have never known a truer or warmer heart than Roger's; and I have known him boy and man."
Mr. Gibson looked at her seriously, unaffected by her charming looks, which reminded him too much of her mother's mannerisms. Then he took her hand and said earnestly, "I hope you deserve him, Cynthia, because you’ve really hit the jackpot. I’ve never encountered a truer or warmer heart than Roger's, and I’ve known him since he was a boy."
Molly felt as if she could have thanked her father aloud for this testimony to the value of him who was gone away. But Cynthia pouted a little before she smiled up in his face.
Molly felt like she could have thanked her dad out loud for this reminder of the worth of the one who had left. But Cynthia sulked a bit before she smiled up at him.
"You are not complimentary, are you, Mr. Gibson?" said she. "He thinks me worthy, I suppose; and if you have so high an opinion of him, you ought to respect his judgment of me." If she hoped to provoke a compliment she was disappointed, for Mr. Gibson let go her hand in an absent manner, and sate down in an easy chair by the fire, gazing at the wood embers as if hoping to read the future in them. Molly saw Cynthia's eyes fill with tears, and followed her to the other end of the room, where she had gone to seek some working materials.
"You’re not very flattering, are you, Mr. Gibson?" she said. "He thinks I’m worthy, I guess; and if you think so highly of him, you should respect his opinion of me." If she was hoping to get a compliment, she was let down, as Mr. Gibson let go of her hand absentmindedly and sat down in a comfy chair by the fire, staring at the glowing embers as if trying to see the future in them. Molly noticed Cynthia's eyes filling with tears and followed her to the other side of the room, where she had gone to find some supplies for her work.
"Dear Cynthia," was all she said; but she pressed her hand while trying to assist in the search.
"Dear Cynthia," was all she said; but she held her hand while trying to help with the search.
"Oh, Molly, I am so fond of your father; what makes him speak so to me to-night?"
"Oh, Molly, I really like your dad; why is he talking to me like this tonight?"
"I don't know," said Molly; "perhaps he's tired."
"I don't know," Molly said, "maybe he's just tired."
They were recalled from further conversation by Mr. Gibson. He had roused himself from his reverie, and was now addressing Cynthia.
They were pulled back from their conversation by Mr. Gibson. He had snapped out of his daydream and was now talking to Cynthia.
"I hope you will not consider it a breach of confidence, Cynthia, but I must tell the Squire of—of what has taken place to-day between you and his son. I have bound myself by a promise to him. He was afraid—it's as well to tell you the truth—he was afraid" (an emphasis on this last word) "of something of this kind between his sons and one of you two girls. It was only the other day I assured him there was nothing of the kind on foot; and I told him then I would inform him at once if I saw any symptoms."
"I hope you won’t see this as breaking your trust, Cynthia, but I need to tell the Squire about what happened today between you and his son. I've promised him I would. He was worried—just so you know, he was really worried—about something like this happening between his sons and one of you two girls. Just the other day, I told him there was nothing going on, and I promised I’d let him know immediately if I noticed anything."
Cynthia looked extremely annoyed.
Cynthia looked really annoyed.
"It was the one thing I stipulated for—secrecy."
"It was the one thing I insisted on—keeping it a secret."
"But why?" said Mr. Gibson. "I can understand your not wishing to have it made public under the present circumstances. But the nearest friends on both sides! Surely you can have no objection to that?"
"But why?" Mr. Gibson asked. "I get why you wouldn't want it to be public with everything going on. But the closest friends on both sides! You can't possibly have a problem with that, can you?"
"Yes, I have," said Cynthia; "I would not have had any one know if I could have helped it."
"Yeah, I have," said Cynthia; "I wouldn't have wanted anyone to know if I could help it."
"I'm almost certain Roger will tell his father."
"I'm pretty sure Roger will tell his dad."
"No, he won't," said Cynthia; "I made him promise, and I think he is one to respect a promise"—with a glance at her mother, who, feeling herself in disgrace with both husband and child, was keeping a judicious silence.
"No, he won't," Cynthia said. "I made him promise, and I think he’s the kind of guy who honors his promises"—she glanced at her mother, who, feeling embarrassed in front of both her husband and child, was wisely staying silent.
"Well, at any rate, the story would come with so much better a grace from him that I shall give him the chance; I won't go over to the Hall till the end of the week; he may have written and told his father before then."
"Well, anyway, the story would sound so much better coming from him that I’ll give him the chance; I won’t go over to the Hall until the end of the week; he might have written and told his father by then."
Cynthia held her tongue for a little while. Then she said, with tearful pettishness,—
Cynthia stayed quiet for a bit. Then she said, with tearful pettiness,—
"A man's promise is to override a woman's wish, then, is it?"
"A man's promise is more important than a woman's wish, right?"
"I don't see any reason why it should not."
"I don't see any reason why it shouldn't."
"Will you trust in my reasons when I tell you it will cause me a great deal of distress if it gets known?" She said this in so pleading a voice, that if Mr. Gibson had not been thoroughly displeased and annoyed by his previous conversation with her mother, he must have yielded to her. As it was, he said, coldly,—"Telling Roger's father is not making it public. I don't like this exaggerated desire for such secrecy, Cynthia. It seems to me as if something more than is apparent was concealed behind it."
"Will you trust my reasons when I say it’ll really upset me if this gets out?" She pleaded in such a way that if Mr. Gibson hadn't been so irritated by his earlier conversation with her mother, he would have given in to her. But instead, he replied coldly, "Telling Roger's dad doesn't mean making it public. I don’t like this over-the-top need for secrecy, Cynthia. It feels like there’s more going on than what’s obvious."
"Come, Molly," said Cynthia, suddenly; "let us sing that duet I've been teaching you; it's better than talking as we are doing."
"Come on, Molly," Cynthia said suddenly, "let's sing that duet I've been teaching you; it's way better than just talking like we are."
It was a little lively French duet. Molly sang it carelessly, with heaviness at her heart; but Cynthia sang it with spirit and apparent merriment; only she broke down in hysterics at last, and flew upstairs to her own room. Molly, heeding nothing else—neither her father nor Mrs. Gibson's words—followed her, and found the door of her bedroom locked, and for all reply to her entreaties to be allowed to come in, she heard Cynthia sobbing and crying.
It was a lively little French duet. Molly sang it without much thought, feeling a weight in her heart; but Cynthia sang it with energy and obvious joy; only she eventually broke down in tears and ran upstairs to her room. Molly, ignoring everything else—neither her father's nor Mrs. Gibson's comments—followed her and found the door to her bedroom locked. In response to her pleas to be let in, she heard Cynthia sobbing and crying.
It was more than a week after the incidents just recorded before Mr. Gibson found himself at liberty to call on the Squire; and he heartily hoped that long before then, Roger's letter might have arrived from Paris, telling his father the whole story. But he saw at the first glance that the Squire had heard nothing unusual to disturb his equanimity. He was looking better than he had done for months past; the light of hope was in his eyes, his face seemed of a healthy ruddy colour, gained partly by his resumption of outdoor employment in the superintendence of the works, and partly because the happiness he had lately had through Roger's means, caused his blood to flow with regular vigour. He had felt Roger's going away, it is true; but whenever the sorrow of parting with him pressed too heavily upon him, he filled his pipe, and smoked it out over a long, slow, deliberate, re-perusal of Lord Hollingford's letter, every word of which he knew by heart; but expressions in which he made a pretence to himself of doubting, that he might have an excuse for looking at his son's praises once again. The first greetings over, Mr. Gibson plunged into his subject.
It was more than a week after the events just mentioned before Mr. Gibson was free to visit the Squire, and he sincerely hoped that Roger's letter from Paris would have arrived by then, sharing the whole story with his father. However, from the moment he arrived, he could tell that the Squire hadn't heard anything unusual to upset his calm demeanor. He looked better than he had in months; there was a spark of hope in his eyes, and his face had a healthy, rosy color, thanks in part to his return to outdoor work supervising the projects, and partly because of the happiness he felt lately thanks to Roger, which made his blood flow with renewed vigor. He had indeed felt the absence of Roger, but whenever the sadness of their separation weighed too heavily on him, he would fill his pipe and smoke it slowly while carefully re-reading Lord Hollingford's letter, every word of which he knew by heart. He pretended to doubt some of the phrases, just so he could look back at his son's praises once more. Once they exchanged initial pleasantries, Mr. Gibson got straight to the point.
"Any news from Roger yet?"
"Got any news from Roger?"
"Oh, yes; here's his letter," said the Squire, producing his black leather case, in which Roger's missive had been placed along with the other very heterogeneous contents.
"Oh, yes; here's his letter," said the Squire, pulling out his black leather case, where Roger's note had been stored along with a bunch of other unrelated items.
Mr. Gibson read it, hardly seeing the words after he had by one rapid glance assured himself that there was no mention of Cynthia in it.
Mr. Gibson read it, barely registering the words after he quickly glanced over it to confirm that Cynthia wasn't mentioned.
"Hum! I see he doesn't name one very important event that has befallen him since he left you," said Mr. Gibson, seizing on the first words that came. "I believe I'm committing a breach of confidence on one side; but I'm going to keep the promise I made the last time I was here. I find there is something—something of the kind you apprehended—you understand—between him and my step-daughter, Cynthia Kirkpatrick. He called at our house to wish us good-by, while waiting for the London coach, found her alone, and spoke to her. They don't call it an engagement, but of course it is one."
"Hum! I see he didn't mention one very important thing that happened to him since he left you," Mr. Gibson said, jumping on the first words that came to mind. "I think I'm breaching confidence on one side; but I'm going to keep the promise I made the last time I was here. I’ve found out there’s something—something like what you were worried about—you know—between him and my stepdaughter, Cynthia Kirkpatrick. He stopped by our house to say goodbye while waiting for the London coach, found her by herself, and talked to her. They don't call it an engagement, but it definitely is one."
"Give me back the letter," said the Squire, in a constrained kind of voice. Then he read it again, as if he had not previously mastered its contents, and as if there might be some sentence or sentences he had overlooked.
"Give me back the letter," said the Squire, in a tense voice. Then he read it again, as if he hadn't fully understood it before, and as if there might be some sentence or sentences he had missed.
"No!" he said at last, with a sigh. "He tells me nothing about it. Lads may play at confidences with their fathers, but they keep a deal back." The Squire appeared more disappointed at not having heard of this straight from Roger than displeased at the fact itself, Mr. Gibson thought. But he let him take his time.
"No!" he finally said, letting out a sigh. "He doesn't tell me anything about it. Guys might act all open with their dads, but they hold back a lot." Mr. Gibson thought the Squire seemed more disappointed that he hadn’t heard this straight from Roger than upset about the situation itself. But he let him take his time.
"He's not the eldest son," continued the Squire, talking as it were to himself. "But it's not the match I should have planned for him. How came you, sir," said he, firing round on Mr. Gibson, suddenly—"to say when you were last here, that there was nothing between my sons and either of your girls? Why, this must have been going on all the time!"
"He's not the oldest son," the Squire continued, almost talking to himself. "But this isn’t the match I would have arranged for him. How did you, sir," he suddenly snapped at Mr. Gibson, "say when you were last here that there was nothing going on between my sons and either of your girls? This must have been happening all along!"
"I'm afraid it was. But I was as ignorant about it as the babe unborn. I only heard of it on the evening of the day of Roger's departure."
"I'm afraid it was. But I was as clueless about it as an unborn baby. I only found out about it on the evening of the day Roger left."
"And that's a week ago, sir. What's kept you quiet ever since?"
"And that was a week ago, sir. What’s kept you silent since then?"
"I thought that Roger would tell you himself."
"I thought Roger would tell you himself."
"That shows you've no sons. More than half their life is unknown to their fathers. Why, Osborne there, we live together—that's to say, we have our meals together, and we sleep under the same roof—and yet—Well! well! life is as God has made it. You say it's not an engagement yet? But I wonder what I'm doing? Hoping for my lad's disappointment in the folly he's set his heart on—and just when he's been helping me. Is it a folly, or is it not? I ask you, Gibson, for you must know this girl. She hasn't much money, I suppose?"
"That shows you don’t have any sons. They spend more than half their lives without really knowing their dads. Look at Osborne; we live together—that is, we share meals and sleep under the same roof—and yet—Well! Well! Life is just how it is. You say it’s not an engagement yet? But I wonder what I’m doing? Wishing my son luck in the foolish thing he’s set his heart on—even after he’s been helping me. Is it really foolish, or not? I’m asking you, Gibson, because you must know this girl. She doesn’t have much money, I assume?"
"About thirty pounds a year, at my pleasure during her mother's life."
"About thirty pounds a year, at my discretion while her mother is alive."
"Whew! It's well he's not Osborne. They'll have to wait. What family is she of? None of 'em in trade, I reckon, from her being so poor?"
"Whew! Good thing he's not Osborne. They'll have to wait. What family is she from? I guess none of them are in business, considering how poor she is?"
"I believe her father was grandson of a certain Sir Gerald Kirkpatrick. Her mother tells me it is an old baronetcy. I know nothing of such things."
"I think her father was the grandson of a certain Sir Gerald Kirkpatrick. Her mother tells me it's an old baronetcy. I don't know anything about that stuff."
"That's something. I do know something of such things, as you are pleased to call them. I like honourable blood."
"That's interesting. I do know a bit about those things, as you like to call them. I appreciate honorable lineage."
Mr. Gibson could not help saying, "But I'm afraid that only one-eighth of Cynthia's blood is honourable; I know nothing further of her relations excepting the fact that her father was a curate."
Mr. Gibson couldn’t help but say, "But I’m afraid that only one-eighth of Cynthia’s blood is noble; I don’t know anything else about her family except that her father was a curate."
"Professional. That's a step above trade at any rate. How old is she?"
"Professional. That's definitely a step above just a trade. How old is she?"
"Eighteen or nineteen."
"Eighteen or nineteen years old."
"Pretty?"
"Beautiful?"
"Yes, I think so; most people do; but it's all a matter of taste. Come, Squire, judge for yourself. Ride over and take lunch with us any day you like. I may not be in; but her mother will be there, and you can make acquaintance with your son's future wife."
"Yes, I think so; most people do; but it’s all about personal preference. Come on, Squire, see for yourself. Come over and have lunch with us anytime you want. I might not be around, but her mother will be there, and you can get to know your son's future wife."
This was going too fast, however; presuming too much on the quietness with which the Squire had been questioning him. Mr. Hamley drew back within his shell, and spoke in a surly manner as he replied,—
This was moving too quickly, though; assuming too much from the calm way the Squire had been asking him questions. Mr. Hamley withdrew into himself and replied in a grumpy tone as he responded,—
"Roger's 'future wife!' He'll be wiser by the time he comes home. Two years among the black folk will have put more sense in him."
"Roger's 'future wife!' He'll be smarter by the time he gets back. Two years with the Black community will have made him more sensible."
"Possible, but not probable, I should say," replied Mr. Gibson. "Black folk are not remarkable for their powers of reasoning, I believe, so that they haven't much chance of altering his opinion by argument, even if they understood each other's language; and certainly if he shares my taste, their peculiarity of complexion will only make him appreciate white skins the more."
"Possible, but not likely, I’d say," replied Mr. Gibson. "Black folks aren’t known for their reasoning skills, so they don’t have much chance of changing his mind through argument, even if they understood each other's language; and if he happens to share my taste, their different skin color will just make him appreciate white skin even more."
"But you said it was no engagement," growled the Squire. "If he thinks better of it, you won't keep him to it, will you?"
"But you said it wasn't an engagement," the Squire grumbled. "If he changes his mind, you won't hold him to it, right?"
"If he wishes to break it off, I shall certainly advise Cynthia to be equally willing, that's all I can say. And I see no reason for discussing the affair further at present. I've told you how matters stand because I promised you I would, if I saw anything of this kind going on. But in the present condition of things, we can neither make nor mar; we can only wait." And he took up his hat to go. But the Squire was discontented.
"If he wants to end it, I will definitely tell Cynthia to be just as willing, that's all I can say. And I don't see any reason to discuss this further right now. I've explained how things are because I promised I would if I noticed anything like this happening. But given the current situation, we can’t change anything; we can only wait." And he picked up his hat to leave. But the Squire was unhappy.
"Don't go, Gibson. Don't take offence at what I've said, though I'm sure I don't know why you should. What's the girl like in herself?"
"Please don't go, Gibson. Don't be offended by what I've said, even though I honestly don’t know why you would be. What's the girl really like?"
"I don't know what you mean," said Mr. Gibson. But he did; only he was vexed, and did not choose to understand.
"I don’t know what you mean," said Mr. Gibson. But he did; he was just annoyed and chose not to understand.
"Is she—well, is she like your Molly?—sweet-tempered and sensible—with her gloves always mended, and neat about the feet, and ready to do anything one asks her just as if doing it was the very thing she liked best in the world?"
"Is she—well, is she like your Molly?—easygoing and practical—with her gloves always fixed, tidy with her shoes, and eager to do anything you ask her as if it's the thing she loves doing the most?"
Mr. Gibson's face relaxed now, and he could understand all the Squire's broken sentences and unexplained meanings.
Mr. Gibson's face relaxed now, and he could understand all the Squire's fragmented sentences and unclear meanings.
"She is much prettier than Molly to begin with, and has very winning ways. She's always well-dressed and smart-looking, and I know she hasn't much to spend on her clothes, and always does what she's asked to do, and is ready enough with her pretty, lively answers. I don't think I ever saw her out of temper; but then I'm not sure if she takes things keenly to heart, and a certain obtuseness of feeling goes a great way towards a character for good temper, I've observed. Altogether I think Cynthia is one in a hundred."
"She's definitely prettier than Molly right from the start, and she has a charming personality. She's always well-dressed and looks smart, even though I know she doesn't have much to spend on clothes. She always does what she's asked and responds with her pretty, lively answers without hesitation. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her lose her temper, but I'm not sure if she's deeply affected by things, and I've noticed that a bit of emotional dullness really helps create an impression of good temper. Overall, I think Cynthia is one in a hundred."
The Squire meditated a little. "Your Molly is one in a thousand, to my mind. But then, you see, she comes of no family at all,—and I don't suppose she'll have a chance of much money." This he said as if he were thinking aloud, and without reference to Mr. Gibson, but it nettled the latter, and he replied somewhat impatiently,—
The Squire thought for a moment. "Your Molly is truly one in a thousand, in my opinion. But, you know, she doesn't come from any family at all, and I don't think she'll have much chance of getting any money." He said this as if he were just thinking out loud, not really addressing Mr. Gibson, but it irritated the latter, and he responded somewhat impatiently—
"Well, but as there's no question of Molly in this business, I don't see the use of bringing her name in, and considering either her family or her fortune."
"Well, since Molly isn't involved in this situation at all, I don't see the point of mentioning her name or thinking about her family or wealth."
"No, to be sure not," said the Squire, rousing up. "My wits had gone far afield, and I'll own I was only thinking what a pity it was she wouldn't do for Osborne. But, of course, it's out of the question—out of the question."
"No, definitely not," said the Squire, waking up. "My mind had wandered, and I admit I was just thinking how unfortunate it was that she wouldn't be suitable for Osborne. But, of course, it's completely out of the question—totally out of the question."
"Yes," said Mr. Gibson, "and if you will excuse me, Squire, I really must go now, and then you'll be at liberty to send your wits afield uninterrupted." This time he was at the door before the Squire called him back. He stood impatiently hitting his top-boots with his riding-whip, waiting for the interminable last words.
"Yeah," said Mr. Gibson, "and if you don’t mind, Squire, I really need to head out now, and then you can let your thoughts wander freely." This time he was at the door before the Squire called him back. He stood there impatiently tapping his riding whip against his boots, waiting for the endless final words.
"I say, Gibson, we're old friends, and you're a fool if you take anything I say as an offence. Madam your wife and I didn't hit it off the only time I ever saw her. I won't say she was silly, but I think one of us was silly, and it wasn't me. However, we'll pass that over. Suppose you bring her, and this girl Cynthia (which is as outlandish a Christian name as I'd wish to hear), and little Molly out here to lunch some day,—I'm more at my ease in my own house,—and I'm more sure to be civil, too. We need say nothing about Roger,—neither the lass nor me,—and you keep your wife's tongue quiet, if you can. It will only be like a compliment to you on your marriage, you know—and no one must take it for anything more. Mind, no allusion or mention of Roger, and this piece of folly. I shall see the girl then, and I can judge her for myself; for, as you say, that will be the best plan. Osborne will be here too; and he's always in his element talking to women. I sometimes think he's half a woman himself, he spends so much money and is so unreasonable."
"I say, Gibson, we’re old friends, and you’re being foolish if you take anything I say the wrong way. Your wife and I didn’t connect the only time I met her. I won’t say she was silly, but one of us was, and it wasn’t me. Let’s move past that. How about you bring her, and this girl Cynthia (which is quite an unusual name, if you ask me), and little Molly over to my place for lunch one day—I feel more comfortable at home, and I’m more likely to be polite, too. We don’t need to talk about Roger—neither the girl nor I—and you try to keep your wife from bringing it up, if you can. It’ll just be a nice gesture for you on your marriage, you know—and no one should take it for anything more. Remember, don’t mention Roger or this nonsense. I’ll meet the girl then, and I can form my own opinion; after all, as you said, that’s the best way to go about it. Osborne will be here too; he’s always great at chatting with women. Sometimes I think he’s half a woman himself, considering how much he spends and how unreasonable he can be."
The Squire was pleased with his own speech and his own thought, and smiled a little as he finished speaking. Mr. Gibson was both pleased and amused; and he smiled too, anxious as he was to be gone. The next Thursday was soon fixed upon as the day on which Mr. Gibson was to bring his womenkind out to the Hall. He thought that, on the whole, the interview had gone off a good deal better than he had expected, and felt rather proud of the invitation of which he was the bearer. Therefore Mrs. Gibson's manner of receiving it was an annoyance to him. She, meanwhile, had been considering herself as an injured woman ever since the evening of the day of Roger's departure; what business had any one had to speak as if the chances of Osborne's life being prolonged were infinitely small, if in fact the matter was uncertain? She liked Osborne extremely, much better than Roger; and would gladly have schemed to secure him for Cynthia, if she had not shrunk from the notion of her daughter's becoming a widow. For if Mrs. Gibson had ever felt anything acutely it was the death of Mr. Kirkpatrick; and, amiably callous as she was in most things, she recoiled from exposing her daughter wilfully to the same kind of suffering which she herself had experienced. But if she had only known Dr. Nicholls' opinion she would never have favoured Roger's suit; never. And then Mr. Gibson himself; why was he so cold and reserved in his treatment of her since that night of explanation? She had done nothing wrong; yet she was treated as though she were in disgrace. And everything about the house was flat just now. She even missed the little excitement of Roger's visits, and the watching of his attentions to Cynthia. Cynthia too was silent enough; and as for Molly, she was absolutely dull and out of spirits, a state of mind so annoying to Mrs. Gibson just now, that she vented some of her discontent upon the poor girl, from whom she feared neither complaint nor repartee.
The Squire was happy with his own speech and thoughts, smiling a bit as he wrapped up. Mr. Gibson felt both pleased and amused, and he smiled too, even though he was eager to leave. They quickly decided that the following Thursday would be the day Mr. Gibson would bring his family to the Hall. Overall, he thought the meeting went better than he had anticipated and felt somewhat proud to be delivering the invitation. So, Mrs. Gibson's response to it annoyed him. Meanwhile, she had been thinking of herself as a wronged woman ever since the evening Roger left; who had the right to suggest that Osborne's chances of survival were slim when the situation was uncertain? She liked Osborne a lot, far more than Roger, and would have been happy to plan to pair him with Cynthia if she hadn’t been put off by the idea of her daughter becoming a widow. Mrs. Gibson had felt the loss of Mr. Kirkpatrick deeply, and despite her usual indifference, she couldn’t bear the thought of subjecting her daughter to the same pain she had endured. If she had known Dr. Nicholls' opinion, she would have never supported Roger’s proposal—never. And then there was Mr. Gibson; why had he been so distant and reserved with her since that night of honesty? She hadn’t done anything wrong, yet he treated her like she was in trouble. Everything around the house felt dull right now. She even missed the little thrill of Roger's visits and his attentions to Cynthia. Cynthia was pretty quiet too, and as for Molly, she was absolutely gloomy and down, a mood that frustrated Mrs. Gibson so much that she took some of her annoyance out on the poor girl, knowing she wouldn’t complain or fight back.
CHAPTER XXXVI.
DOMESTIC DIPLOMACY.
The evening of the day on which Mr. Gibson had been to see the Squire, the three women were alone in the drawing-room, for Mr. Gibson had had a long round and was not as yet come in. They had had to wait dinner for him; and for some time after his return there was nothing done or said but what related to the necessary business of eating. Mr. Gibson was, perhaps, as well satisfied with his day's work as any of the four; for this visit to the Squire had been weighing on his mind ever since he had heard of the state of things between Roger and Cynthia. He did not like the having to go and tell of a love-affair so soon after he had declared his belief that no such thing existed; it was a confession of fallibility which is distasteful to most men. If the Squire had not been of so unsuspicious and simple a nature, he might have drawn his own conclusions from the apparent concealment of facts, and felt doubtful of Mr. Gibson's perfect honesty in the business; but being what he was, there was no danger of such unjust misapprehension. Still Mr. Gibson knew the hot hasty temper he had to deal with, and had expected more violence of language than he really encountered; and the last arrangement by which Cynthia, her mother, and Molly—who, as Mr. Gibson thought to himself, and smiled at the thought, was sure to be a peacemaker, and a sweetener of intercourse—were to go to the Hall and make acquaintance with the Squire, appeared like a great success to Mr. Gibson, for achieving which he took not a little credit to himself. Altogether, he was more cheerful and bland than he had been for many days; and when he came up into the drawing-room for a few minutes after dinner, before going out again to see his town patients, he whistled a little under his breath, as he stood with his back to the fire, looking at Cynthia, and thinking that he had not done her justice when describing her to the Squire. Now this soft, almost tuneless whistling, was to Mr. Gibson what purring is to a cat. He could no more have done it with an anxious case on his mind, or when he was annoyed by human folly, or when he was hungry, than he could have flown through the air. Molly knew all this by instinct, and was happy without being aware of it, as soon as she heard the low whistle which was no music after all. But Mrs. Gibson did not like this trick of her husband's; it was not refined she thought, not even "artistic;" if she could have called it by this fine word it would have compensated her for the want of refinement. To-night it was particularly irritating to her nerves; but since her conversation with Mr. Gibson about Cynthia's engagement, she had not felt herself in a sufficiently good position to complain.
The evening after Mr. Gibson visited the Squire, the three women were in the drawing-room alone, as Mr. Gibson had been out for a long time and hadn’t returned yet. They had to wait for him to have dinner, and for a while after he got back, all they talked about was the necessary business of eating. Mr. Gibson was probably as happy with his day's work as anyone else in the room because his visit to the Squire had been on his mind since he learned about the situation between Roger and Cynthia. He didn’t like having to report on a love affair so soon after insisting that no such thing was happening; it was an admission of imperfection that most men find uncomfortable. If the Squire hadn't been so trusting and simple-minded, he might have drawn his own conclusions from the apparent lack of transparency and questioned Mr. Gibson's honesty; but since he was who he was, that kind of misunderstanding was unlikely. Still, Mr. Gibson was aware of the Squire's hot temper and had expected more intense reactions than he actually faced. The plan for Cynthia, her mother, and Molly—who Mr. Gibson thought, with a smile at the idea, would definitely help ease tensions and promote goodwill—to go to the Hall and meet the Squire seemed like a huge success to him, and he felt proud of it. Overall, he was in a better mood than he had been for days. When he came into the drawing-room for a few minutes after dinner before heading out again to see his patients, he whistled quietly to himself as he stood with his back to the fire, looking at Cynthia and realizing he hadn’t given her enough praise when talking to the Squire. This soft, nearly tuneless whistling was to Mr. Gibson what purring is to a cat. He couldn't have done it if he were worried about a tough case, annoyed by human foolishness, or hungry; it was as impossible as flying. Molly instinctively understood this and felt happy without knowing why as soon as she heard the low whistle, which wasn’t really music at all. But Mrs. Gibson disliked this habit of her husband’s; she thought it was unrefined, not even “artistic”; if she could have called it that, it might have made up for the lack of refinement. Tonight, it was particularly grating on her nerves, but since her conversation with Mr. Gibson about Cynthia’s engagement, she hadn’t felt in a strong enough position to complain.
Mr. Gibson began,—"Well, Cynthia; I've seen the Squire to-day, and made a clean breast of it."
Mr. Gibson started, "Well, Cynthia, I talked to the Squire today and told him everything."
Cynthia looked up quickly, questioning with her eyes; Molly stopped her netting to listen; no one spoke.
Cynthia looked up quickly, her eyes asking questions; Molly paused her netting to listen; no one said a word.
"You're all to go there on Thursday to lunch; he asked you all, and I promised for you."
"You're all supposed to go there for lunch on Thursday; he invited you all, and I assured him you would come."
Still no reply; natural, perhaps, but very flat.
Still no reply; maybe that's normal, but it feels really dull.
"You'll be glad of that, Cynthia, shan't you?" asked Mr. Gibson. "It may be a little formidable, but I hope it will be the beginning of a good understanding between you."
"You'll be happy about that, Cynthia, won't you?" Mr. Gibson asked. "It might be a bit intimidating, but I hope it marks the start of a good relationship between you."
"Thank you!" said she, with an effort. "But—but won't it make it public? I do so wish not to have it known, or talked about, not till he comes back or close upon the marriage."
"Thank you!" she said, with some difficulty. "But—won't it make it public? I really don't want anyone to know or talk about it, not until he comes back or right before the wedding."
"I don't see how it should make it public," said Mr. Gibson. "My wife goes to lunch with my friend, and takes her daughters with her—there's nothing in that, is there?"
"I don't see why it needs to be made public," said Mr. Gibson. "My wife has lunch with my friend and takes her daughters along—there's nothing wrong with that, right?"
"I am not sure that I shall go," put in Mrs. Gibson. She did not know why she said it, for she fully intended to go all the time; but having said it, she was bound to stick to it for a little while; and, with such a husband as hers, the hard necessity was sure to fall upon her of having to find a reason for her saying. Then it came, quick and sharp.
"I’m not sure I’ll go," Mrs. Gibson chimed in. She didn’t know why she said it, because she fully intended to go the whole time; but having said it, she felt she had to hold on to it for a bit. With a husband like hers, she knew she would have to come up with a reason for saying it. Then it came, quick and sharp.
"Why not?" said he, turning round upon her.
"Why not?" he said, turning to her.
"Oh, because—because I think he ought to have called on Cynthia first; I've that sort of sensitiveness I can't bear to think of her being slighted because she is poor."
"Oh, because—I think he should have visited Cynthia first; I have that kind of sensitivity where I can't stand the thought of her being overlooked just because she's poor."
"Nonsense!" said Mr. Gibson. "I do assure you, no slight whatever was intended. He does not wish to speak about the engagement to any one—not even to Osborne—that's your wish, too, isn't it, Cynthia? Nor does he intend to mention it to any of you when you go there; but, naturally enough, he wants to make acquaintance with his future daughter-in-law. If he deviated so much from his usual course as to come calling here—"
"Nonsense!" Mr. Gibson said. "I assure you, there was no offense meant at all. He doesn’t want to talk about the engagement to anyone—not even to Osborne—right, Cynthia? And he has no plans to bring it up with any of you when you visit; but, of course, he wants to meet his future daughter-in-law. If he strayed so far from his usual routine as to come calling here—
"I am sure I don't want him to come calling here," said Mrs. Gibson, interrupting. "He was not so very agreeable the only time he did come. But I am that sort of a character that I cannot put up with any neglect of persons I love, just because they are not smiled upon by fortune." She sighed a little ostentatiously as she ended her sentence.
"I definitely don’t want him to come by here," Mrs. Gibson interrupted. "He wasn't that pleasant the only time he did visit. But I’m the kind of person who can’t tolerate neglect towards the people I care about, just because they’re not favored by luck." She let out a slightly dramatic sigh as she finished her sentence.
"Well, then, you won't go!" said Mr. Gibson, provoked, but not wishing to have a long discussion, especially as he felt his temper going.
"Well, then, you're not going!" said Mr. Gibson, annoyed, but not wanting to get into a lengthy argument, especially since he could feel his patience wearing thin.
"Do you wish it, Cynthia?" said Mrs. Gibson, anxious for an excuse to yield.
"Do you want it, Cynthia?" Mrs. Gibson asked, eager for a reason to give in.
But her daughter was quite aware of this motive for the question, and replied quietly,—"Not particularly, mamma. I am quite willing to refuse the invitation."
But her daughter was fully aware of the reason behind the question and replied calmly, "Not really, mom. I'm completely fine with declining the invitation."
"It is already accepted," said Mr. Gibson, almost ready to vow that he would never again meddle in any affair in which women were concerned, which would effectually shut him out from all love-affairs for the future. He had been touched by the Squire's relenting, pleased with what he had thought would give others pleasure, and this was the end of it!
"It’s already settled," Mr. Gibson said, nearly swearing that he would never again get involved in any situation that involved women, which would completely exclude him from all future romance. He had been moved by the Squire's change of heart, happy about what he thought would make others happy, and this was the outcome!
"Oh, do go, Cynthia!" said Molly, pleading with her eyes as well as her words. "Do; I am sure you will like the Squire; and it is such a pretty place, and he'll be so much disappointed."
"Oh, please go, Cynthia!" Molly said, her eyes begging as much as her words. "You really will like the Squire, and it's such a beautiful place, and he'll be so disappointed."
"I should not like to give up my dignity," said Cynthia, demurely. "And you heard what mamma said!"
"I really don't want to give up my dignity," said Cynthia, modestly. "And you heard what Mom said!"
It was very malicious of her. She fully intended to go, and was equally sure that her mother was already planning her dress for the occasion in her own mind. Mr. Gibson, however, who, surgeon though he was, had never learnt to anatomize a woman's heart, took it all literally, and was excessively angry both with Cynthia and her mother; so angry that he did not dare to trust himself to speak. He went quickly to the door, intending to leave the room; but his wife's voice arrested him; she said,—
It was really cruel of her. She definitely intended to go and was just as sure that her mother was already imagining her dress for the event. Mr. Gibson, though he was a surgeon, had never learned how to read a woman's feelings, took everything at face value and was extremely angry with both Cynthia and her mother; so angry that he didn't even dare to speak. He hurried to the door, planning to leave the room, but his wife's voice stopped him; she said,—
"My dear, do you wish me to go? if you do, I will put my own feelings on one side."
"My dear, do you want me to go? If you do, I'll set my own feelings aside."
"Of course I do!" he said, short and stern, and left the room.
"Of course I do!" he replied sharply, then walked out of the room.
"Then I'll go!" said she, in the voice of a victim—those words were meant for him, but he hardly heard them. "And we'll have a fly from the 'George,' and get a livery-coat for Thomas, which I've long been wanting, only dear Mr. Gibson did not like it, but on an occasion like this I'm sure he won't mind; and Thomas shall go on the box, and—"
"Then I'll go!" she said, sounding like a victim—those words were directed at him, but he barely heard them. "And we'll take a cab from the 'George,' and get a livery coat for Thomas, which I've wanted for a while, but dear Mr. Gibson didn't like it. However, on an occasion like this, I'm sure he won't mind; and Thomas can sit on the box, and—
"But, mamma, I've my feelings too," said Cynthia.
"But, Mom, I have my feelings too," said Cynthia.
"Nonsense, child! when all is so nicely arranged too."
"Nonsense, kid! Everything is arranged so nicely."
So they went on the day appointed. Mr. Gibson was aware of the change of plans, and that they were going after all; but he was so much annoyed by the manner in which his wife had received an invitation that appeared to him so much kinder than he had expected from his previous knowledge of the Squire, and his wishes on the subject of his sons' marriage, that Mrs. Gibson heard neither interest nor curiosity expressed by her husband as to the visit itself, or the reception they met with. Cynthia's indifference as to whether the invitation was accepted or not had displeased Mr. Gibson. He was not up to her ways with her mother, and did not understand how much of this said indifference had been assumed in order to countervent Mrs. Gibson's affectation and false sentiment. But for all his annoyance on the subject, he was, in fact, very curious to know how the visit had gone off, and took the first opportunity of being alone with Molly to question her about the lunch of the day before at Hamley Hall.
So they went on the scheduled day. Mr. Gibson knew about the change in plans and that they were going after all; however, he was really irritated by how his wife received an invitation that seemed much kinder than he had expected based on his previous experience with the Squire and his thoughts on his sons' marriages. Because of this, Mrs. Gibson noticed that her husband showed neither interest nor curiosity about the visit itself or how they were received. Cynthia's indifference regarding whether they accepted the invitation upset Mr. Gibson. He wasn't familiar with her ways with her mother and didn't realize how much of that indifference was put on to counteract Mrs. Gibson's pretentiousness and false sentiment. Despite his annoyance, he was genuinely curious about how the visit went and took the first chance he got to be alone with Molly to ask her about the lunch at Hamley Hall the day before.
"And so you went to Hamley yesterday after all?"
"And so you went to Hamley yesterday, after all?"
"Yes; I thought you would have come. The Squire seemed quite to expect you."
"Yeah, I figured you would show up. The Squire really seemed to be expecting you."
"I thought of going there at first; but I changed my mind like other people. I don't see why women are to have a monopoly of changeableness. Well! how did it go off? Pleasantly, I suppose, for both your mother and Cynthia were in high spirits last night."
"I thought about going there at first, but then I changed my mind like everyone else. I don't understand why women should have a monopoly on being fickle. So, how did it go? I assume it was enjoyable, since both your mom and Cynthia were in great spirits last night."
"Yes. The dear old Squire was in his best dress and on his best behaviour, and was so prettily attentive to Cynthia, and she looked so lovely, walking about with him, and listening to all his talk about the garden and farm. Mamma was tired, and stopped in-doors, so they got on very well, and saw a great deal of each other."
"Yes. The dear old Squire was dressed to impress and on his best behavior, being very attentive to Cynthia, who looked lovely walking around with him and listening to all his chatter about the garden and farm. Mom was tired and stayed indoors, so they got along very well and spent a lot of time together."
"And my little girl trotted behind?"
"And my little girl walked happily behind?"
"Oh, yes. You know I was almost at home, and besides—of course—" Molly went very red, and left the sentence unfinished.
"Oh, for sure. You know I was almost home, and besides—of course—" Molly turned very red and left the sentence unfinished.
"Do you think she's worthy of him?" asked her father, just as if she had completed her speech.
"Do you think she's good enough for him?" her father asked, as if she had just finished speaking.
"Of Roger, papa? oh, who is? But she is very sweet, and very, very charming."
"About Roger, Dad? Oh, who knows? But she is really sweet and super charming."
"Very charming if you will, but somehow I don't quite understand her. Why does she want all this secrecy? Why was she not more eager to go and pay her duty to Roger's father? She took it as coolly as if I'd asked her to go to church!"
"She’s quite charming, but I don’t really get her. Why all the secrecy? Why wasn’t she more eager to go and show her respects to Roger's dad? She acted like I was asking her to go to church!"
"I don't think she did take it coolly; I believe I don't quite understand her either, but I love her dearly all the same."
"I don't think she handled it well; I know I don't fully understand her either, but I love her dearly just the same."
"Umph; I like to understand people thoroughly, but I know it's not necessary to women. D'ye really think she's worthy of him?"
"Umph; I like to really understand people, but I know that’s not essential for women. Do you really think she's good enough for him?"
"Oh, papa—" said Molly, and then she stopped; she wanted to speak in favour of Cynthia, but somehow she could form no reply that pleased her to this repeated inquiry. He did not seem much to care whether he got an answer or not, for he went on with his own thoughts, and the result was that he asked Molly if Cynthia had heard from Roger.
"Oh, Dad—" said Molly, and then she paused; she wanted to say something nice about Cynthia, but somehow she couldn't come up with a response that satisfied her to his repeated question. He didn’t seem to mind whether he got an answer or not, as he continued with his own thoughts, and as a result, he asked Molly if Cynthia had heard from Roger.
"Yes; on Wednesday morning."
"Yes, Wednesday morning."
"Did she show it to you? But of course not. Besides, I read the Squire's letter, which told all about him."
"Did she show it to you? Of course not. Plus, I read the Squire's letter, which explained everything about him."
Now Cynthia, rather to Molly's surprise, had told her that she might read the letter if she liked, and Molly had shrunk from availing herself of the permission, for Roger's sake. She thought that he would probably have poured out his heart to the one sole person, and that it was not fair to listen, as it were, to his confidences.
Now, to Molly's surprise, Cynthia had told her she could read the letter if she wanted to, but Molly hesitated to take her up on the offer, thinking of Roger. She believed he would have shared his true feelings with just her, and it didn't seem right to eavesdrop on his personal thoughts.
"Was Osborne at home?" asked Mr. Gibson. "The Squire said he did not think he would have come back; but the young fellow is so uncertain—"
"Is Osborne at home?" Mr. Gibson asked. "The Squire mentioned he didn't think he would have returned; but the young guy is so unpredictable—
"No, he was still from home." Then Molly blushed all over crimson, for it suddenly struck her that Osborne was probably with his wife—that mysterious wife, of whose existence she was cognizant, but of whom she knew so little, and of whom her father knew nothing. Mr. Gibson noticed the blush with anxiety. What did it mean? It was troublesome enough to find that one of the Squire's precious sons had fallen in love within the prohibited ranks; and what would not have to be said and done if anything fresh were to come out between Osborne and Molly? He spoke out at once to relieve himself of this new apprehension.
"No, he was still at home." Then Molly blushed a deep red, as it suddenly occurred to her that Osborne was likely with his wife—that mysterious wife of whom she was aware but knew so little, and whom her father didn’t know at all. Mr. Gibson noticed the blush with concern. What did it mean? It was already troubling enough to discover that one of the Squire's precious sons had fallen in love within the forbidden ranks; and what would have to be said and done if something new came up between Osborne and Molly? He spoke immediately to ease this new worry.
"Molly, I was taken by surprise by this affair between Cynthia and Roger Hamley—if there's anything more on the tapis let me know at once, honestly and openly. I know it's an awkward question for you to reply to; but I wouldn't ask it unless I had good reasons." He took her hand as he spoke. She looked up at him with clear, truthful eyes, which filled with tears as she spoke. She did not know why the tears came; perhaps it was because she was not so strong as formerly.
"Molly, I was really surprised by this situation between Cynthia and Roger Hamley—if there's anything else going on, please let me know right away, honestly and openly. I know it's an uncomfortable question for you to answer, but I wouldn't ask if I didn't have a good reason." He held her hand as he said this. She looked up at him with clear, honest eyes that filled with tears as she spoke. She didn't understand why the tears came; maybe it was because she wasn't as strong as she used to be.
"If you mean that you're afraid that Osborne thinks of me as Roger thinks of Cynthia, papa, you are quite mistaken. Osborne and I are friends and nothing more, and never can be anything more. That's all I can tell you."
"If you think that you're worried Osborne sees me the way Roger sees Cynthia, Dad, you're totally wrong. Osborne and I are just friends, and nothing more, and we can never be anything else. That's all I can say."
"It's quite enough, little one. It's a great relief. I don't want to have my Molly carried off by any young man just yet; I should miss her sadly." He could not help saying this in the fulness of his heart just then, but he was surprised at the effect these few tender words produced. Molly threw her arms round his neck, and began to sob bitterly, her head lying on his shoulder. "There, there!" said he, patting her on the back, and leading her to the sofa, "that will do. I get quite enough of tears in the day, shed for real causes, not to want them at home, where, I hope, they are shed for no cause at all. There's nothing really the matter, is there, my dear?" he continued, holding her a little away from him that he might look in her face. She smiled at him through her tears; and he did not see the look of sadness which returned to her face after he had left her.
"That's enough, sweetheart. It really is a relief. I don’t want any young man taking my Molly away just yet; I’d miss her too much." He couldn’t help but express this in that moment, but he was surprised by how his few kind words affected her. Molly wrapped her arms around his neck and started to cry uncontrollably, her head resting on his shoulder. "There, there!" he said, gently patting her back and guiding her to the sofa. "That’s enough. I see enough tears throughout the day for real reasons; I don’t need them at home, where I hope they’re shed for no reason at all. There’s nothing really wrong, is there, my dear?" he asked, holding her a bit away so he could see her face. She smiled at him through her tears, and he didn’t notice the look of sadness that returned to her face after he had left her.
"Nothing, dear, dear papa—nothing now. It is such a comfort to have you all to myself—it makes me happy."
"Nothing, dear, dear dad—nothing right now. It’s such a relief to have you all to myself—it makes me happy."
Mr. Gibson knew all implied in these words, and felt that there was no effectual help for the state of things which had arisen from his own act. It was better for them both that they should not speak out more fully. So he kissed her, and said,—
Mr. Gibson understood everything that was implied in those words and realized there was no real solution for the situation that had come about from his own actions. It was better for both of them not to say any more. So he kissed her and said,—
"That's right, dear! I can leave you in comfort now, and indeed I've stayed too long already gossiping. Go out and have a walk—take Cynthia with you, if you like. I must be off. Good-by, little one."
"That's right, dear! I can leave you feeling comfortable now, and I’ve honestly stayed too long chatting. Go out for a walk—take Cynthia with you if you want. I need to get going. Bye, little one."
His commonplace words acted like an astringent on Molly's relaxed feelings. He intended that they should do so; it was the truest kindness to her; but he walked away from her with a sharp pang at his heart, which he stunned into numbness as soon as he could by throwing himself violently into the affairs and cares of others.
His ordinary words struck Molly's relaxed feelings like a shock. He meant for them to do just that; it was the kindest thing for her. Yet, he walked away from her with a sharp pain in his heart, which he quickly numbed by diving headfirst into the problems and concerns of others.
CHAPTER XXXVII.
A FLUKE, AND WHAT CAME OF IT.
he honour and glory
of having a lover of her own was soon to fall to
Molly's share; though, to be sure, it was a little deduction from the
honour that the man who came with the full intention of proposing to
her, ended by making Cynthia an offer. It was Mr. Coxe, who came back
to Hollingford to follow out the purpose he had announced to Mr.
Gibson nearly two years before, of inducing Molly to become his wife
as soon as he should have succeeded to his uncle's estate. He was now
a rich, though still a red-haired, young man. He came to the George
Inn, bringing his horses and his groom; not that he was going to ride
much, but that he thought such outward signs of his riches might help
on his suit; and he was so justly modest in his estimation of himself
that he believed that he needed all extraneous aid. He piqued himself
on his constancy; and indeed, considering that he had been so much
restrained by his duty, his affection, and his expectations to his
crabbed old uncle, that he had not been able to go much into society,
and very rarely indeed into the company of young ladies, such
fidelity to Molly was very meritorious, at least in his own eyes. Mr.
Gibson too was touched by it, and made it a point of honour to give
him a fair field, all the time sincerely hoping that Molly would not
be such a goose as to lend a willing ear to a youth who could never
remember the difference between apophysis and epiphysis. He thought
it as well not to tell his wife more of Mr. Coxe's antecedents than
that he had been a former pupil; who had relinquished ("all that he
knew of," understood) the medical profession because an old uncle had
left him enough of money to be idle. Mrs. Gibson, who felt that she
had somehow lost her place in her husband's favour, took it into her
head that she could reinstate herself if she was successful in
finding a good match for his daughter Molly. She knew that her
husband had forbidden her to try for this end, as distinctly as words
could express a meaning; but her own words so seldom expressed her
meaning, or if they did, she held to her opinions so loosely, that
she had no idea but that it was the same with other people.
Accordingly she gave Mr. Coxe a very sweet and gracious welcome.
The honor and glory of finally having a boyfriend was soon to go to Molly; although, it was a bit less honorable since the man who intended to propose to her ended up making an offer to Cynthia instead. This was Mr. Coxe, who returned to Hollingford to pursue the goal he had mentioned to Mr. Gibson nearly two years earlier—convincing Molly to marry him as soon as he inherited his uncle's estate. He was now wealthy, but still a red-haired young man. He checked into the George Inn with his horses and groom—not that he planned to ride much, but he thought these signs of his wealth might help his cause; he felt he needed all the extra help he could get. He prided himself on his loyalty; indeed, considering he had been so restricted by his responsibilities, his affection, and the expectations from his grumpy old uncle, he hadn’t been able to socialize much, and hardly ever around young women, his fidelity to Molly was quite commendable, at least in his view. Mr. Gibson was also moved by it and made it a point of honor to give him a fair chance, while sincerely hoping that Molly wouldn’t be foolish enough to listen to a guy who could never remember the difference between apophysis and epiphysis. He thought it best not to inform his wife much about Mr. Coxe's background, just that he had been a former student who had given up the medical profession because an old uncle left him enough money to be lazy. Mrs. Gibson, feeling she had somehow lost her place in her husband’s favor, believed she could regain it by successfully finding a good match for his daughter Molly. She knew her husband had explicitly forbade her from pursuing this goal, but since her own words rarely conveyed her true meaning, or if they did, she changed her mind so easily, she assumed others were the same. So, she gave Mr. Coxe a very warm and generous welcome.
"It is such a pleasure to me to make acquaintance with the former pupils of my husband. He has spoken to me so often of you that I quite feel as if you were one of the family, as indeed I am sure that Mr. Gibson considers you."
"It’s such a pleasure for me to meet the former students of my husband. He has mentioned you so many times that I really feel like you’re part of the family, just as I’m sure Mr. Gibson sees you."
Mr. Coxe felt much flattered, and took the words as a happy omen for his love-affair. "Is Miss Gibson in?" asked he, blushing violently. "I knew her formerly—that is to say, I lived in the same house with her, for more than two years, and it would be a great pleasure to—to—"
Mr. Coxe felt really flattered and took the words as a good sign for his romantic interests. "Is Miss Gibson in?" he asked, blushing deeply. "I knew her back in the day—that is to say, I lived in the same house with her for over two years, and it would be a great pleasure to—to—
"Certainly, I am sure she will be so glad to see you. I sent her and Cynthia—you don't know my daughter Cynthia, I think, Mr. Coxe? she and Molly are such great friends—out for a brisk walk this frosty day, but I think they will soon come back." She went on saying agreeable nothings to the young man, who received her attentions with a certain complacency, but was all the time much more engaged in listening to the well-remembered click at the front door,—the shutting it to again with household care, and the sound of the familiar bounding footstep on the stair. At last they came. Cynthia entered first, bright and blooming, fresh colour in her cheeks and lips, fresh brilliance in her eyes. She looked startled at the sight of a stranger, and for an instant she stopped short at the door, as if taken by surprise. Then in came Molly softly behind her, smiling, happy, dimpled; but not such a glowing beauty as Cynthia.
"Of course, I’m sure she’ll be so happy to see you. I sent her and Cynthia—you don’t know my daughter Cynthia, do you, Mr. Coxe? She and Molly are such good friends—out for a brisk walk on this chilly day, but I think they’ll be back soon." She continued chatting pleasantly with the young man, who enjoyed her attention but was much more focused on the familiar sound of the front door clicking shut, the careful way it closed, and the sound of the familiar fast footsteps on the stairs. Finally, they arrived. Cynthia came in first, bright and radiant, with a fresh glow in her cheeks and lips, and a sparkle in her eyes. She looked a bit surprised to see a stranger at first, stopping short at the door as if caught off guard. Then Molly entered softly behind her, smiling, cheerful, and dimpled; though she wasn’t as strikingly beautiful as Cynthia.
"Oh, Mr. Coxe, is it you?" said she, going up to him with an outstretched hand, and greeting him with simple friendliness.
"Oh, Mr. Coxe, is that you?" she said, walking up to him with an outstretched hand and greeting him with genuine friendliness.
"Yes; it seems such a long time since I saw you. You are so much grown—so much—well, I suppose I mustn't say what," he replied, speaking hurriedly, and holding her hand all the time, rather to her discomfiture. Then Mrs. Gibson introduced her daughter, and the two girls spoke of the enjoyment of their walk. Mr. Coxe marred his cause in that very first interview, if indeed he ever could have had any chance, by his precipitancy in showing his feelings, and Mrs. Gibson helped him to mar it by trying to assist him. Molly lost her open friendliness of manner, and began to shrink away from him in a way which he thought was a very ungrateful return for all his faithfulness to her these two years past; and after all she was not the wonderful beauty his fancy or his love had painted her. That Miss Kirkpatrick was far more beautiful and much easier of access. For Cynthia put on all her pretty airs—her look of intent interest in what any one was saying to her, let the subject be what it would, as if it was the thing she cared most about in the whole world; her unspoken deference; in short, all the unconscious ways she possessed by instinct of tickling the vanity of men. So while Molly quietly repelled him, Cynthia drew him to her by her soft attractive ways; and his constancy fell before her charms. He was thankful that he had not gone too far with Molly, and grateful to Mr. Gibson for having prohibited all declarations two years ago; for Cynthia, and Cynthia alone, could make him happy. After a fortnight's time, during which he had entirely veered round in his allegiance, he thought it desirable to speak to Mr. Gibson. He did so with a certain sense of exultation in his own correct behaviour in the affair, but at the same time feeling rather ashamed of the confession of his own changeableness which was naturally involved. Now it had so happened that Mr. Gibson had been unusually little at home during the fortnight that Mr. Coxe had ostensibly lodged at the "George," but in reality had spent the greater part of his time at Mr. Gibson's house—so that he had seen very little of his former pupil, and on the whole he had thought him improved, especially after Molly's manner had made her father pretty sure that Mr. Coxe stood no chance in that quarter. But Mr. Gibson was quite ignorant of the attraction which Cynthia had had for the young man. If he had perceived it, he would have nipped it in the bud pretty quickly, for he had no notion of any girl, even though only partially engaged to one man, receiving offers from others, if a little plain speaking could prevent it. Mr. Coxe had asked for a private interview; they were sitting in the old surgery, now called the consulting-room, but still retaining so much of its former self as to be the last place in which Mr. Coxe could feel himself at ease. He was red up to the very roots of his red hair, and kept turning his glossy new hat round and round in his fingers, unable to find out the proper way of beginning his sentence, so at length he plunged in, grammar or no grammar.
"Yes, it feels like such a long time since I saw you. You've grown so much—well, I guess I shouldn’t say anything more," he replied quickly, holding her hand the whole time, which made her uncomfortable. Then Mrs. Gibson introduced her daughter, and the two girls talked about how much they enjoyed their walk. Mr. Coxe ruined his chances right from the start by being too eager to express his feelings, and Mrs. Gibson made it worse by trying to help him. Molly withdrew her friendly demeanor and started to pull away from him in a way that he thought was a really ungrateful response for all his loyalty over the past two years; and after all, she wasn’t the incredible beauty he had imagined her to be. That Miss Kirkpatrick was far prettier and much easier to approach. Cynthia played up her charm—her look of genuine interest in whatever anyone was saying to her, no matter the topic, as if it was the thing she cared about most in the whole world; her unspoken grace; in short, all the natural ways she instinctively had of flattering men’s egos. So while Molly quietly pushed him away, Cynthia pulled him in with her soft, attractive ways; and his loyalty wavered in the face of her charm. He was glad he hadn’t gotten too close to Molly and thankful to Mr. Gibson for having stopped any declarations two years ago; because only Cynthia could make him happy. After two weeks, during which he had completely shifted his loyalty, he decided it was time to talk to Mr. Gibson. He did so with a sense of pride in how he had handled things, but also feeling a bit ashamed of admitting his own fickleness. It happened that Mr. Gibson had been home very little during the two weeks that Mr. Coxe had been supposedly staying at the "George," but in reality had spent most of his time at Mr. Gibson's house—so he had barely seen his former student. Overall, he thought Mr. Coxe had improved, especially after Molly's demeanor made her father pretty sure that Mr. Coxe stood no chance with her. But Mr. Gibson was completely unaware of the attraction that Cynthia had for the young man. If he had realized it, he would have quickly put a stop to it because he didn’t agree with any girl, even one only partially engaged to a guy, accepting advances from others if he could help it. Mr. Coxe requested a private meeting; they were sitting in the old surgery, now called the consulting room, but it still looked enough like its former self that it was the last place where Mr. Coxe felt comfortable. He was blushing deep red, right down to the roots of his bright hair, and kept spinning his brand new shiny hat in his hands, unable to figure out how to start his sentence, so he finally just dove in, grammar or not.
"Mr. Gibson, I daresay you'll be surprised, I'm sure I am at—at what I want to say; but I think it's the part of an honourable man, as you said yourself, sir, a year or two ago, to—to speak to the father first, and as you, sir, stand in the place of a father to Miss Kirkpatrick, I should like to express my feelings, my hopes, or perhaps I should say wishes, in short—"
"Mr. Gibson, I bet you'll be surprised. I'm definitely surprised at what I want to say; but I think it's the right thing for an honorable man, as you mentioned a year or two ago, to talk to the father first. Since you, sir, act as a father to Miss Kirkpatrick, I would like to share my feelings, my hopes, or maybe I should say wishes, briefly—"
"Miss Kirkpatrick?" said Mr. Gibson, a good deal surprised.
"Miss Kirkpatrick?" Mr. Gibson said, quite surprised.
"Yes, sir!" continued Mr. Coxe, rushing on now he had got so far. "I know it may appear inconstant and changeable, but I do assure you, I came here with a heart as faithful to your daughter as ever beat in a man's bosom. I most fully intended to offer myself and all that I had to her acceptance before I left; but really, sir, if you had seen her manner to me every time I endeavoured to press my suit a little—it was more than coy, it was absolutely repellent, there could be no mistaking it,—while Miss Kirkpatrick—" he looked modestly down, and smoothed the nap of his hat, smiling a little while he did so.
"Absolutely, sir!" continued Mr. Coxe, quickly moving on now that he had started. "I know it might seem fickle and unstable, but I assure you, I came here with a heart as loyal to your daughter as any man's could be. I fully intended to offer myself and everything I have to her before I left; but honestly, sir, if you had seen how she acted every time I tried to make my feelings known—it was more than just shy; it was downright off-putting, there was no mistaking it. Meanwhile, Miss Kirkpatrick—" he glanced modestly down and smoothed the fabric of his hat, giving a little smile as he did so.
"While Miss Kirkpatrick—?" repeated Mr. Gibson, in such a stern voice, that Mr. Coxe, landed esquire as he was now, felt as much discomfited as he used to do when he was an apprentice, and Mr. Gibson had spoken to him in a similar manner.
"While Miss Kirkpatrick—?" Mr. Gibson repeated, his voice so stern that Mr. Coxe, now a landed gentleman, felt just as uneasy as he did when he was an apprentice and Mr. Gibson had spoken to him in the same way.
"I was only going to say, sir, that so far as one can judge from manner, and willingness to listen, and apparent pleasure in my visits—altogether, I think I may venture to hope that Miss Kirkpatrick is not quite indifferent to me,—and I would wait,—you have no objection, have you, sir, to my speaking to her, I mean?" said Mr. Coxe, a little anxious at the expression on Mr. Gibson's face. "I do assure you I haven't a chance with Miss Gibson," he continued, not knowing what to say, and fancying that his inconstancy was rankling in Mr. Gibson's mind.
"I just wanted to say, sir, that from what I can tell by her demeanor, her willingness to listen, and the enjoyment she seems to have during my visits, I think I can hope that Miss Kirkpatrick isn't completely indifferent to me. I'd like to wait for a bit—unless you have any objections, sir, to my talking to her, that is?" said Mr. Coxe, a bit nervous at the look on Mr. Gibson's face. "I assure you, I don't stand a chance with Miss Gibson," he added, unsure of what to say and worrying that his uncertainty was bothering Mr. Gibson.
"No! I don't suppose you have. Don't go and fancy it is that which is annoying me. You're mistaken about Miss Kirkpatrick, however. I don't believe she could ever have meant to give you encouragement!"
"No! I don’t think you have. Don’t go imagining that’s what’s bothering me. You’re wrong about Miss Kirkpatrick, though. I don’t believe she ever meant to give you any encouragement!"
Mr. Coxe's face grew perceptibly paler. His feelings, if evanescent, were evidently strong.
Mr. Coxe's face noticeably grew paler. His emotions, though fleeting, were clearly intense.
"I think, sir, if you could have seen her—I don't consider myself vain, and manner is so difficult to describe. At any rate, you can have no objection to my taking my chance, and speaking to her."
"I think, sir, if you had seen her—I don’t think of myself as vain, and it’s hard to put manner into words. Anyway, you can’t really object to me taking a chance and talking to her."
"Of course, if you won't be convinced otherwise, I can have no objection. But if you'll take my advice, you will spare yourself the pain of a refusal. I may, perhaps, be trenching on confidence, but I think I ought to tell you that her affections are otherwise engaged."
"Of course, if you won’t change your mind, I can’t object. But if you take my advice, you’ll save yourself the pain of being turned down. I might be overstepping, but I think I should let you know that she’s already in love with someone else."
"It cannot be!" said Mr. Coxe. "Mr. Gibson, there must be some mistake. I have gone as far as I dared in expressing my feelings, and her manner has been most gracious. I don't think she could have misunderstood my meaning. Perhaps she has changed her mind? It is possible that, after consideration, she has learnt to prefer another, is it not?"
"It can't be!" said Mr. Coxe. "Mr. Gibson, there has to be some mistake. I've been as open as I can be about my feelings, and she's been very kind. I don't think she could have misunderstood what I meant. Maybe she has changed her mind? It's possible that, after thinking it over, she's come to like someone else, right?"
"By 'another,' you mean yourself, I suppose. I can believe in such inconstancy" (he could not help, in his own mind, giving a slight sneer at the instance before him), "but I should be very sorry to think that Miss Kirkpatrick could be guilty of it."
"By 'another,' you mean yourself, I guess. I can believe in that kind of inconsistency" (he couldn’t help but give a slight sneer in his thoughts at the situation before him), "but I would really hate to think that Miss Kirkpatrick could be capable of it."
"But she may—it is a chance. Will you allow me to see her?"
"But she might—it’s a possibility. Can I see her?"
"Certainly, my poor fellow"—for, intermingled with a little contempt, was a good deal of respect for the simplicity, the unworldliness, the strength of feeling, even though the feeling was evanescent—"I will send her to you directly."
"Of course, my poor friend"—because, mixed with a bit of disdain, there was a lot of admiration for the naivety, the innocence, the intensity of emotion, even if that emotion was fleeting—"I will send her to you right away."
"Thank you, sir. God bless you for a kind friend!"
"Thank you, sir. God bless you for being such a kind friend!"
Mr. Gibson went upstairs to the drawing-room, where he was pretty sure he should find Cynthia. There she was, as bright and careless as usual, making up a bonnet for her mother, and chattering to Molly as she worked.
Mr. Gibson went upstairs to the living room, where he was pretty sure he would find Cynthia. There she was, as lively and carefree as ever, crafting a bonnet for her mom and chatting with Molly as she worked.
"Cynthia, you will oblige me by going down into my consulting-room at once. Mr. Coxe wants to speak to you!"
"Cynthia, please go into my consulting room right away. Mr. Coxe wants to talk to you!"
"Mr. Coxe?" said Cynthia. "What can he want with me?"
"Mr. Coxe?" Cynthia asked. "What does he want with me?"
Evidently, she answered her own question as soon as it was asked, for she coloured, and avoided meeting Mr. Gibson's severe, uncompromising look. As soon as she had left the room, Mr. Gibson sat down, and took up a new Edinburgh lying on the table, as an excuse for conversation. Was there anything in the article that made him say, after a minute or two, to Molly, who sat silent and wondering—"Molly, you must never trifle with the love of an honest man. You don't know what pain you may give."
Clearly, she answered her own question right after it was asked, because she blushed and avoided meeting Mr. Gibson's stern, intense gaze. Once she left the room, Mr. Gibson sat down and picked up a new Edinburgh from the table as a way to start a conversation. Was there something in the article that prompted him to say, after a minute or two, to Molly, who was sitting quietly and confused, "Molly, you should never play games with the affection of an honest man. You have no idea what kind of hurt you might cause."
Presently Cynthia came back into the drawing-room, looking very much confused. Most likely she would not have returned if she had known that Mr. Gibson was still there; but it was such an unheard-of thing for him to be sitting in that room in the middle of the day, reading or making pretence to read, that she had never thought of his remaining. He looked up at her the moment she came in, so there was nothing for it but putting a bold face on it, and going back to her work.
Cynthia walked back into the living room, looking really confused. She probably wouldn’t have come back if she had known Mr. Gibson was still there; but it was so unusual for him to be sitting in that room in the middle of the day, reading or pretending to read, that she never considered he would still be. He looked up at her as soon as she entered, so she had no choice but to put on a brave face and return to her work.
"Is Mr. Coxe still downstairs?" asked Mr. Gibson.
"Is Mr. Coxe still downstairs?" Mr. Gibson asked.
"No. He is gone. He asked me to give you both his kind regards. I believe he is leaving this afternoon." Cynthia tried to make her manner as commonplace as possible; but she did not look up, and her voice trembled a little.
"No. He's gone. He asked me to send his best wishes to both of you. I think he’s leaving this afternoon." Cynthia tried to keep her tone casual, but she didn’t look up, and her voice shook a little.
Mr. Gibson went on looking at his book for a few minutes; but Cynthia felt that more was coming, and only wished it would come quickly, for the severe silence was very hard to bear. It came at last.
Mr. Gibson continued to stare at his book for a few minutes, but Cynthia sensed that more was about to happen and just wanted it to happen quickly, as the intense silence was hard to endure. It eventually arrived.
"I trust this will never occur again, Cynthia!" said he, in grave displeasure. "I should not feel satisfied with the conduct of any girl, however free, who could receive marked attentions from a young man with complacency, and so lead him on to make an offer which she never meant to accept. But what must I think of a young woman in your position, engaged—yet 'accepting most graciously,' for that was the way Coxe expressed it—the overtures of another man? Do you consider what unnecessary pain you have given him by your thoughtless behaviour? I call it thoughtless, but it's the mildest epithet I can apply to it. I beg that such a thing may not occur again, or I shall be obliged to characterize it more severely."
"I hope this never happens again, Cynthia!" he said, clearly upset. "I wouldn't be satisfied with the behavior of any girl, no matter how independent, who could accept special attention from a young man so easily, leading him to propose when she never intended to say yes. But what should I think of a young woman in your situation, engaged—yet 'accepting most graciously,' as Coxe put it—the advances of another man? Have you thought about the unnecessary pain you've caused him with your careless actions? I call it careless, but that's being very gentle. I ask that this doesn't happen again, or I'll have to describe it in stronger terms."
Molly could not imagine what "more severely" could be, for her father's manner appeared to her almost cruel in its sternness. Cynthia coloured up extremely, then went pale, and at length raised her beautiful appealing eyes full of tears to Mr. Gibson. He was touched by that look, but he resolved immediately not to be mollified by any of her physical charms of expression, but to keep to his sober judgment of her conduct.
Molly couldn't picture what "more severely" could possibly mean, since her father's demeanor seemed almost cruel in its strictness. Cynthia blushed deeply, then went pale, and finally looked up at Mr. Gibson with her beautiful, tear-filled eyes. He was moved by her gaze, but he quickly decided not to let her physical charms sway him and to stick to his serious assessment of her behavior.
"Please, Mr. Gibson, hear my side of the story before you speak so hardly to me. I did not mean to—to flirt. I merely meant to make myself agreeable,—I can't help doing that,—and that goose of a Mr. Coxe seems to have fancied I meant to give him encouragement."
"Please, Mr. Gibson, listen to my side of the story before you speak so harshly to me. I didn’t mean to flirt. I just wanted to be pleasant—it's something I can’t help—and that foolish Mr. Coxe seems to think I was trying to encourage him."
"Do you mean that you were not aware that he was falling in love with you?" Mr. Gibson was melting into a readiness to be convinced by that sweet voice and pleading face.
"Are you saying you didn't realize he was falling in love with you?" Mr. Gibson found himself becoming open to being persuaded by that sweet voice and pleading expression.
"Well, I suppose I must speak truly." Cynthia blushed and smiled—ever so little—but it was a smile, and it hardened Mr. Gibson's heart again. "I did think once or twice that he was becoming a little more complimentary than the occasion required; but I hate throwing cold water on people, and I never thought he could take it into his silly head to fancy himself seriously in love, and to make such a fuss at the last, after only a fortnight's acquaintance."
"Well, I guess I have to be honest." Cynthia blushed and smiled—just a bit—but it was a smile, and it made Mr. Gibson's heart soften again. "I did think a couple of times that he was being a bit more flattering than was necessary; but I really dislike dampening other people’s spirits, and I never imagined he could get it into his head to think he was seriously in love, and to make such a big deal at the end, after only two weeks of knowing each other."
"You seem to have been pretty well aware of his silliness (I should rather call it simplicity). Don't you think you should have remembered that it might lead him to exaggerate what you were doing and saying into encouragement?"
"You seem to have been quite aware of his silliness (I’d rather call it simplicity). Don’t you think you should’ve remembered that it might lead him to exaggerate what you were doing and saying into encouragement?"
"Perhaps. I daresay I'm all wrong, and that he is all right," said Cynthia, piqued and pouting. "We used to say in France, that 'les absens ont toujours tort,' but really it seems as if here—" she stopped. She was unwilling to be impertinent to a man whom she respected and liked. She took up another point of her defence, and rather made matters worse. "Besides, Roger would not allow me to consider myself as finally engaged to him; I would willingly have done it, but he would not let me."
"Maybe. I could be completely wrong, and he could be completely right," said Cynthia, annoyed and pouting. "We used to say in France that 'les absens ont toujours tort,' but honestly, it feels like here—" she paused. She didn't want to be rude to a man she respected and liked. She picked up another point in her defense, which only complicated things further. "Besides, Roger wouldn’t let me think of myself as definitely engaged to him; I would have been fine with it, but he wouldn’t allow me."
"Nonsense. Don't let us go on talking about it, Cynthia! I've said all that I mean to say. I believe that you were only thoughtless, as I told you before. But don't let it happen again." He left the room at once, to put a stop to the conversation, the continuance of which would serve no useful purpose, and perhaps end by irritating him.
"Nonsense. Let’s not keep discussing this, Cynthia! I've said everything I need to say. I believe you were just being thoughtless, like I mentioned before. But please, don’t let it happen again." He left the room immediately to end the conversation, which was going nowhere and might just end up annoying him.
"Not guilty, but we recommend the prisoner not to do it again. It's pretty much that, isn't it, Molly?" said Cynthia, letting her tears downfall, even while she smiled. "I do believe your father might make a good woman of me yet, if he would only take the pains, and wasn't quite so severe. And to think of that stupid little fellow making all this mischief! He pretended to take it to heart, as if he had loved me for years instead of only for days. I daresay only for hours if the truth were told."
"Not guilty, but we suggest the prisoner shouldn't do it again. That's pretty much it, right, Molly?" said Cynthia, letting her tears fall even as she smiled. "I truly think your father might turn me into a decent woman if he would just put in some effort and wasn't so harsh. And to think that foolish little guy caused all this trouble! He acted like it really affected him, as if he had loved me for years instead of just a few days. Honestly, it was probably only for a few hours if we're being truthful."
"I was afraid he was becoming very fond of you," said Molly; "at least it struck me once or twice; but I knew he could not stay long, and I thought it would only make you uncomfortable if I said anything about it. But now I wish I had!"
"I was worried he was getting really attached to you," Molly said. "It crossed my mind a couple of times; but I knew he couldn't stick around for long, and I thought it would just make you uncomfortable if I mentioned it. But now I wish I had!"
"It wouldn't have made a bit of difference," replied Cynthia. "I knew he liked me, and I like to be liked; it's born in me to try to make every one I come near fond of me; but then they shouldn't carry it too far, for it becomes very troublesome if they do. I shall hate red-haired people for the rest of my life. To think of such a man as that being the cause of your father's displeasure with me!"
"It wouldn’t have made any difference," Cynthia replied. "I knew he liked me, and I like being liked; it’s in my nature to try to make everyone I meet fond of me. But they shouldn’t take it too far, because it gets really annoying if they do. I’ll probably dislike red-haired people for the rest of my life. Just thinking about a guy like that being the reason for your father's disappointment with me!"
Molly had a question at her tongue's end that she longed to put; she knew it was indiscreet, but at last out it came almost against her will:
Molly had a question on the tip of her tongue that she really wanted to ask; she knew it was inappropriate, but eventually, it slipped out almost against her will:
"Shall you tell Roger about it?"
"Are you going to tell Roger about it?"
Cynthia replied, "I've not thought about it—no! I don't think I shall—there's no need. Perhaps, if we are ever married—"
Cynthia replied, "I haven't thought about it—no! I don't think I will—there's no need. Maybe, if we ever get married
"Ever married!" said Molly, under her breath. But Cynthia took no notice of the exclamation until she had finished the sentence which it interrupted.
"Ever married!" said Molly, quietly. But Cynthia didn’t pay any attention to the comment until she had finished the sentence it interrupted.
"—and I can see his face and know his mood, I may tell it him then; but not in writing, and when he is absent; it might annoy him."
"—and I can see his face and know how he's feeling, I can tell him then; but not in writing, and when he's not there; it might upset him."
"I am afraid it would make him uncomfortable," said Molly, simply. "And yet it must be so pleasant to be able to tell him everything—all your difficulties and troubles."
"I’m afraid it would make him uncomfortable," Molly said simply. "And yet it must be so nice to be able to tell him everything—all your difficulties and troubles."
"Yes; only I don't worry him with these things; it's better to write him merry letters, and cheer him up among the black folk. You repeated 'Ever married,' a little while ago; do you know, Molly, I don't think I ever shall be married to him? I don't know why, but I have a strong presentiment, so it's just as well not to tell him all my secrets, for it would be awkward for him to know them if it never came off!"
"Yeah; I just don't want to burden him with this stuff; it's better to send him cheerful letters and lift his spirits among those gloomy folks. You said 'Ever married' a little while ago; you know, Molly, I really don't think I'll ever marry him? I can't explain it, but I have this strong feeling, so it's probably best not to share all my secrets with him, because it would be uncomfortable for him to know them if it never happens!"
Molly dropped her work, and sat silent, looking into the future; at length she said, "I think it would break his heart, Cynthia!"
Molly set aside her work and sat quietly, staring into the distance; after a while, she said, "I think it would really hurt him, Cynthia!"
"Nonsense. Why, I'm sure that Mr. Coxe came here with the intention of falling in love with you—you needn't blush so violently. I'm sure you saw it as plainly as I did, only you made yourself disagreeable, and I took pity on him, and consoled his wounded vanity."
"Nonsense. I’m pretty sure Mr. Coxe came here wanting to fall in love with you—you don’t need to blush so much. I’m sure you noticed it just as clearly as I did, but you acted unpleasantly, and I felt sorry for him, so I tried to soothe his hurt pride."
"Can you—do you dare to compare Roger Hamley to Mr. Coxe?" asked Molly, indignantly.
"Can you—do you really think you can compare Roger Hamley to Mr. Coxe?" Molly asked, indignant.
"No, no, I don't!" said Cynthia in a moment. "They are as different as men can be. Don't be so dreadfully serious over everything, Molly. You look as oppressed with sad reproach, as if I had been passing on to you the scolding your father gave me."
"No, no, I don't!" Cynthia said quickly. "They're as different as men can be. Don’t take everything so seriously, Molly. You look so weighed down with sadness, as if I had been passing on the scolding your father gave me."
"Because I don't think you value Roger as you ought, Cynthia!" said Molly stoutly, for it required a good deal of courage to force herself to say this, although she could not tell why she shrank so from speaking.
"Because I don't think you appreciate Roger like you should, Cynthia!" Molly said firmly, as it took a lot of courage for her to say this, even though she couldn't explain why she felt so hesitant to speak.
"Yes, I do! It's not in my nature to go into ecstasies, and I don't suppose I shall ever be what people call 'in love.' But I am glad he loves me, and I like to make him happy, and I think him the best and most agreeable man I know, always excepting your father when he isn't angry with me. What can I say more, Molly? would you like me to say I think him handsome?"
"Yes, I do! It's not really my style to get overly excited, and I doubt I'll ever be what people call 'in love.' But I'm happy he loves me, and I enjoy making him happy. I think he's the best and most pleasant man I know, except for your dad when he's not mad at me. What else can I say, Molly? Do you want me to say I think he's good-looking?"
"I know most people think him plain, but—"
"I know most people think he's plain, but—"
"Well, I'm of the opinion of most people then, and small blame to them. But I like his face—oh, ten thousand times better than Mr. Preston's handsomeness!" For the first time during the conversation Cynthia seemed thoroughly in earnest. Why Mr. Preston was introduced neither she nor Molly knew; it came up and out by a sudden impulse; but a fierce look came into the eyes, and the soft lips contracted themselves as Cynthia named his name. Molly had noticed this look before, always at the mention of this one person.
"Well, I agree with most people about that, and I don't blame them at all. But I really like his face—oh, a thousand times better than Mr. Preston’s good looks!" For the first time during the conversation, Cynthia seemed completely serious. Neither she nor Molly understood why Mr. Preston was brought up; it just came out on a whim. But a fierce look appeared in her eyes, and her soft lips tightened when she said his name. Molly had noticed this look before, always when this one person was mentioned.
"Cynthia, what makes you dislike Mr. Preston so much?"
"Cynthia, why do you dislike Mr. Preston so much?"
"Don't you? Why do you ask me? and yet, Molly," said she, suddenly relaxing into depression, not merely in tone and look, but in the droop of her limbs—"Molly, what should you think of me if I married him after all?"
"Don’t you? Why are you asking me? And yet, Molly," she said, suddenly sinking into a mood of sadness, visible not just in her tone and expression but also in her slumped posture—"Molly, what would you think of me if I ended up marrying him after all?"
"Married him! Has he ever asked you?"
"Married him! Has he ever asked you?"
But Cynthia, instead of replying to this question, went on, uttering her own thoughts,—"More unlikely things have happened. Have you never heard of strong wills mesmerizing weaker ones into submission? One of the girls at Madame Lefevre's went out as a governess to a Russian family, who lived near Moscow. I sometimes think I'll write to her to find me a situation in Russia, just to get out of the daily chance of seeing that man!"
But Cynthia, instead of answering this question, continued, sharing her own thoughts—" stranger things have happened. Haven't you ever heard of strong wills charming weaker ones into submission? One of the girls at Madame Lefevre's went to work as a governess for a Russian family near Moscow. Sometimes I think I should write to her to help me find a job in Russia, just to avoid the daily possibility of running into that guy!"
"But sometimes you seem quite intimate with him, and talk to him—"
"But sometimes you seem really close to him and talk to him—"
"How can I help it?" said Cynthia impatiently. Then recovering herself she added: "We knew him so well at Ashcombe, and he's not a man to be easily thrown off, I can tell you. I must be civil to him; it's not from liking, and he knows it's not, for I've told him so. However, we won't talk about him. I don't know how we came to do it, I'm sure: the mere fact of his existence, and of his being within half a mile of us, is bad enough. Oh! I wish Roger was at home, and rich, and could marry me at once, and carry me away from that man! If I'd thought of it, I really believe I would have taken poor red-haired Mr. Coxe."
"How can I help it?" Cynthia said impatiently. Then she collected herself and added, "We knew him really well at Ashcombe, and he’s not someone who can be easily ruffled, I promise you. I have to be nice to him; it's not out of any fondness, and he knows that because I’ve told him. But let’s not talk about him. I don't even know how we ended up on that subject: just the fact that he exists and is within half a mile of us is annoying enough. Oh! I wish Roger were home, rich, and able to marry me right away so I could escape from that man! If I had thought of it, I honestly believe I would have gone for poor red-haired Mr. Coxe."
"I don't understand it at all," said Molly. "I dislike Mr. Preston, but I should never think of taking such violent steps as you speak of, to get away from the neighbourhood in which he lives."
"I don't get it at all," said Molly. "I can't stand Mr. Preston, but I would never consider taking such drastic measures like you mentioned to escape the neighborhood where he lives."
"No, because you are a reasonable little darling," said Cynthia, resuming her usual manner, and coming up to Molly, and kissing her. "At least you'll acknowledge I'm a good hater!"
"No, because you’re a reasonable little darling," said Cynthia, getting back to her usual self, walking over to Molly, and giving her a kiss. "At least you’ll admit I’m a good hater!"
"Yes. But still I don't understand it."
"Yes. But I still don't get it."
"Oh, never mind! There are old complications with our affairs at Ashcombe. Money matters are at the root of it all. Horrid poverty—do let us talk of something else! Or, better still, let me go and finish my letter to Roger, or I shall be too late for the African mail!"
"Oh, forget it! We have some old issues with our situation at Ashcombe. The problems all come down to money. It's such a dreadful state of poverty—let's talk about something else! Or, even better, let me go finish my letter to Roger, or I’ll miss the African mail!"
"Isn't it gone? Oh, I ought to have reminded you! It will be too late. Did you not see the notice at the post-office that letters ought to be in London on the morning of the 10th instead of the evening. Oh, I am so sorry!"
"Isn’t it too late? I should have reminded you! It’s going to be too late now. Didn’t you see the notice at the post office that letters need to be in London by the morning of the 10th instead of the evening? I’m really sorry!"
"So am I, but it can't be helped. It is to be hoped it will be the greater treat when he does get it. I've a far greater weight on my heart, because your father seems so displeased with me. I was fond of him, and now he is making me quite a coward. You see, Molly," continued she, a little piteously, "I've never lived with people with such a high standard of conduct before; and I don't quite know how to behave."
"I'm the same way, but there's nothing we can do about it. Hopefully, it will be an even bigger surprise when he finally gets it. I feel a lot more pressure because your dad seems so unhappy with me. I used to really like him, and now he's making me feel really timid. You see, Molly," she added, a bit sadly, "I've never been around people with such high standards before, and I’m not really sure how to act."
"You must learn," said Molly tenderly. "You'll find Roger quite as strict in his notions of right and wrong."
"You need to learn," Molly said gently. "You'll see that Roger is just as strict about what's right and wrong."
"Ah, but he's in love with me!" said Cynthia, with a pretty consciousness of her power. Molly turned away her head, and was silent; it was of no use combating the truth, and she tried rather not to feel it—not to feel, poor girl, that she too had a great weight on her heart, into the cause of which she shrank from examining. That whole winter long she had felt as if her sun was all shrouded over with grey mist, and could no longer shine brightly for her. She wakened up in the morning with a dull sense of something being wrong; the world was out of joint, and, if she were born to set it right, she did not know how to do it. Blind herself as she would, she could not help perceiving that her father was not satisfied with the wife he had chosen. For a long time Molly had been surprised at his apparent contentment; sometimes she had been unselfish enough to be glad that he was satisfied; but still more frequently nature would have its way, and she was almost irritated at what she considered his blindness. Something, however, had changed him now: something that had arisen at the time of Cynthia's engagement. He had become nervously sensitive to his wife's failings, and his whole manner had grown dry and sarcastic, not merely to her, but sometimes to Cynthia,—and even—but this very rarely, to Molly herself. He was not a man to go into passions, or ebullitions of feeling: they would have relieved him, even while degrading him in his own eyes; but he became hard, and occasionally bitter in his speeches and ways. Molly now learnt to long after the vanished blindness in which her father had passed the first year of his marriage; yet there were no outrageous infractions of domestic peace. Some people might say that Mr. Gibson "accepted the inevitable;" he told himself in more homely phrase "that it was no use crying over spilt milk:" and he, from principle, avoided all actual dissensions with his wife, preferring to cut short a discussion by a sarcasm, or by leaving the room. Moreover, Mrs. Gibson had a very tolerable temper of her own, and her cat-like nature purred and delighted in smooth ways, and pleasant quietness. She had no great facility for understanding sarcasm; it is true it disturbed her, but as she was not quick at deciphering any depth of meaning, and felt it unpleasant to think about it, she forgot it as soon as possible. Yet she saw she was often in some kind of disfavour with her husband, and it made her uneasy. She resembled Cynthia in this: she liked to be liked; and she wanted to regain the esteem which she did not perceive she had lost for ever. Molly sometimes took her stepmother's part in secret; she felt as if she herself could never have borne her father's hard speeches so patiently; they would have cut her to the heart, and she must either have demanded an explanation, and probed the sore to the bottom, or sat down despairing and miserable. Instead of which Mrs. Gibson, after her husband had left the room, on these occasions would say in a manner more bewildered than hurt—
"Ah, but he's in love with me!" Cynthia said, fully aware of her charm. Molly turned her head away and fell silent; it was pointless to deny the truth, and she tried not to let it in—not to realize, poor girl, that she also carried a heavy burden in her heart, the cause of which she dreaded to explore. All winter, she felt like her sun was hidden behind a gray fog, no longer shining brightly for her. She woke up in the morning with a dull sense that something was wrong; the world felt out of balance, and while she might be meant to fix it, she had no idea how to do that. No matter how much she tried to ignore it, she couldn’t help noticing that her father wasn’t happy with the wife he had chosen. For a long time, Molly had been surprised by his seeming contentment; sometimes, she was unselfish enough to be happy that he was satisfied, but more often than not, she was irritated by what she saw as his blindness. However, something had changed in him since Cynthia's engagement. He had become acutely sensitive to his wife's flaws, and his whole demeanor had turned dry and sarcastic, not only towards her but occasionally even towards Cynthia—and very rarely, towards Molly herself. He wasn’t the kind of man to express his feelings openly; doing so would have relieved him, even while making him feel degraded. Instead, he grew harsh and occasionally bitter in his words and actions. Molly now found herself longing for the days of her father's previous blindness during his first year of marriage; still, there were no outright disruptions in their home life. Some might say Mr. Gibson "accepted the inevitable"; he told himself in simpler terms that "it was no use crying over spilt milk." He, by principle, avoided any real conflicts with his wife, choosing to end discussions with sarcasm or by leaving the room. Additionally, Mrs. Gibson had a fairly decent temperament, and her cat-like personality thrived on smooth interactions and pleasant calm. She wasn’t very good at understanding sarcasm; it did bother her, but since she wasn’t quick to grasp its deeper meanings and found it unpleasant to think about, she pushed it out of her mind as soon as she could. Yet she sensed that she often fell out of favor with her husband, which made her anxious. In this way, she was like Cynthia: she liked to be liked; she wanted to regain the respect she didn’t realize she had lost for good. Molly sometimes secretly defended her stepmother; she felt that she could never have endured her father's harsh words so stoically; they would have pierced her heart, and she would have had to either demand an explanation and dig into the hurt or sit down feeling desperate and unhappy. Instead, Mrs. Gibson, after her husband left the room, would express her confusion more than her pain—
"I think dear papa seems a little put out to-day; we must see that he has a dinner that he likes when he comes home. I have often perceived that everything depends on making a man comfortable in his own house."
"I think dear dad seems a bit upset today; we should make sure he has a dinner he enjoys when he gets home. I've often noticed that it all comes down to making a man feel comfortable in his own home."
And thus she went on, groping about to find the means of reinstating herself in his good graces—really trying, according to her lights, till Molly was often compelled to pity her in spite of herself, and although she saw that her stepmother was the cause of her father's increased astringency of disposition. For, indeed, he had got into that kind of exaggerated susceptibility with regard to his wife's faults, which may be best typified by the state of bodily irritation that is produced by the constant recurrence of any particular noise: those who are brought within hearing of it, are apt to be always on the watch for the repetition, if they are once made to notice it, and are in an irritable state of nerves.
And so she continued, searching for ways to win back his favor—really trying, in her own way, until Molly often found herself feeling sorry for her despite herself, even though she recognized that her stepmother was the reason for her father's growing harshness. He had become overly sensitive to his wife's flaws, much like how constant annoying sounds can irritate a person's body: once you notice it, you tend to be on edge, waiting for it to happen again, which makes you even more irritable.
So that poor Molly had not passed a cheerful winter, independently of any private sorrows that she might have in her own heart. She did not look well, either: she was gradually falling into low health, rather than bad health. Her heart beat more feebly and slower; the vivifying stimulant of hope—even unacknowledged hope—was gone out of her life. It seemed as if there was not, and never could be in this world, any help for the dumb discordancy between her father and his wife. Day after day, month after month, year after year, would Molly have to sympathize with her father, and pity her stepmother, feeling acutely for both, and certainly more than Mrs. Gibson felt for herself. Molly could not imagine how she had at one time wished for her father's eyes to be opened, and how she could ever have fancied that if they were, he would be able to change things in Mrs. Gibson's character. It was all hopeless, and the only attempt at a remedy was to think about it as little as possible. Then Cynthia's ways and manners about Roger gave Molly a great deal of uneasiness. She did not believe that Cynthia cared enough for him; at any rate, not with the sort of love that she herself would have bestowed, if she had been so happy—no, that was not it—if she had been in Cynthia's place. She felt as if she should have gone to him both hands held out, full and brimming over with tenderness, and been grateful for every word of precious confidence bestowed on her. Yet Cynthia received his letters with a kind of carelessness, and read them with a strange indifference, while Molly sat at her feet, so to speak, looking up with eyes as wistful as a dog's waiting for crumbs, and such chance beneficences.
So, poor Molly hadn't had a cheerful winter, aside from any personal troubles she might have been dealing with. She didn't look well, either; she was slowly drifting into poor health rather than just being sick. Her heart was beating weaker and slower; the life-giving spark of hope—even the hope she didn't openly acknowledge—had vanished from her life. It felt like there was no help, and there could never be any, for the silent conflict between her father and his wife. Day after day, month after month, year after year, Molly had to feel sorry for her father and pity her stepmother, empathizing deeply for both—certainly more than Mrs. Gibson felt for herself. Molly couldn't believe she had once wished for her father's eyes to be opened or thought that if they were, he could change something about Mrs. Gibson's character. It all seemed hopeless, and the only solution was to try not to think about it too much. Then there were Cynthia's behaviors and attitudes toward Roger, which made Molly really anxious. She didn't think Cynthia cared enough for him; at least, not in the way that she would have loved him if she were in Cynthia's shoes. Molly imagined she would have approached him with both hands out, overflowing with affection, and been grateful for every word of trust he shared with her. Yet, Cynthia received his letters with a sort of indifference and read them with a strange lack of interest, while Molly sat by her side, so to speak, looking up with eyes as hopeful as a dog waiting for scraps and little acts of kindness.
She tried to be patient on these occasions, but at last she must ask—"Where is he, Cynthia? What does he say?" By this time Cynthia had put down the letter on the table by her, smiling a little from time to time, as she remembered the loving compliments it contained.
She tried to be patient during these moments, but finally, she had to ask—"Where is he, Cynthia? What does he say?" By that time, Cynthia had placed the letter on the table beside her, smiling occasionally as she recalled the affectionate compliments it included.
"Where? Oh, I didn't look exactly—somewhere in Abyssinia—Huon. I can't read the word, and it doesn't much signify, for it would give me no idea."
"Where? Oh, I didn't check exactly—somewhere in Abyssinia—Huon. I can't make out the word, and it doesn't really matter, since it wouldn't give me any idea."
"Is he well?" asked greedy Molly.
"Is he okay?" asked greedy Molly.
"Yes, now. He has had a slight touch of fever, he says; but it's all over now, and he hopes he is getting acclimatized."
"Yeah, now. He mentioned he's had a bit of a fever, but that's all gone now, and he hopes he's getting used to the climate."
"Of fever!—and who took care of him? he would want nursing,—and so far from home. Oh, Cynthia!"
"Of fever!—and who looked after him? He would need nursing,—and so far from home. Oh, Cynthia!"
"Oh, I don't fancy he had any nursing, poor fellow! One doesn't expect nursing, and hospitals, and doctors in Abyssinia; but he had plenty of quinine with him, and I suppose that is the best specific. At any rate he says he is quite well now!"
"Oh, I don't think he had any proper nursing, poor guy! You don't really expect nurses, hospitals, or doctors in Abyssinia; but he had plenty of quinine with him, and I guess that's the best medicine. Anyway, he says he's feeling perfectly fine now!"
Molly sat silent for a minute or two.
Molly sat quietly for a minute or two.
"What is the date of the letter, Cynthia?"
"What’s the date on the letter, Cynthia?"
"I didn't look. December the—December the 10th."
"I didn't look. Dec 10."
"That's nearly two months ago," said Molly.
"That was almost two months ago," Molly said.
"Yes; but I determined I wouldn't worry myself with useless anxiety, when he went away. If anything did—go wrong, you know," said Cynthia, using a euphuism for death, as most people do (it is an ugly word to speak plain out in the midst of life), "it would be all over before I even heard of his illness, and I could be of no use to him—could I, Molly?"
"Yeah, but I decided I wouldn't stress myself out with pointless worries when he left. If anything did go wrong, you know," Cynthia said, using a softer term for death, like most people do (it's a harsh word to say out loud in the middle of life), "it would all be over before I even found out he was sick, and I wouldn't be able to help him—would I, Molly?"
"No. I daresay it is all very true; only I should think the Squire could not take it so easily."
"No. I honestly think that's all true; I just don't believe the Squire would take it so well."
"I always write him a little note when I hear from Roger, but I don't think I'll name this touch of fever—shall I, Molly?"
"I always drop him a quick note when I hear from Roger, but I don't think I'm going to mention this little fever—should I, Molly?"
"I don't know," said Molly. "People say one ought, but I almost wish I hadn't heard it. Please, does he say anything else that I may hear?"
"I don't know," Molly said. "People say you should, but I kind of wish I hadn't heard it. Please, does he say anything else that I might hear?"
"Oh, lovers' letters are so silly, and I think this is sillier than usual," said Cynthia, looking over her letter again. "Here's a piece you may read, from that line to that," indicating two places. "I haven't read it myself for it looked dullish—all about Aristotle and Pliny—and I want to get this bonnet-cap made up before we go out to pay our calls."
"Oh, love letters are so ridiculous, and I think this one is even sillier than usual," said Cynthia, glancing over her letter again. "Here's a part you can read, from that line to that," she pointed out two spots. "I haven't read it myself because it seemed a bit boring—all about Aristotle and Pliny—and I need to get this bonnet-cap finished before we head out to visit everyone."
Molly took the letter, the thought crossing her mind that he had touched it, had had his hands upon it, in those far distant desert lands, where he might be lost to sight and to any human knowledge of his fate; even now her pretty brown fingers almost caressed the flimsy paper with their delicacy of touch as she read. She saw references made to books, which, with a little trouble, would be accessible to her here in Hollingford. Perhaps the details and the references would make the letter dull and dry to some people, but not to her, thanks to his former teaching and the interest he had excited in her for his pursuits. But, as he said in apology, what had he to write about in that savage land, but his love, and his researches, and travels? There was no society, no gaiety, no new books to write about, no gossip in Abyssinian wilds.
Molly took the letter, the thought crossing her mind that he had touched it, that his hands had been on it, in those far-off desert lands, where he might be lost to sight and to any knowledge of his fate; even now her pretty brown fingers almost caressed the flimsy paper with their delicate touch as she read. She saw references to books which, with a little effort, would be accessible to her here in Hollingford. Maybe the details and references would seem dull and dry to some people, but not to her, thanks to his previous teaching and the interest he had sparked in her for his pursuits. But, as he said in apology, what could he write about in that wild land, except for his love, and his research, and travels? There was no society, no fun, no new books to discuss, no gossip in the Abyssinian wilderness.
Molly was not in strong health, and perhaps this made her a little fanciful; but certain it is that her thoughts by day and her dreams by night were haunted by the idea of Roger lying ill and untended in those savage lands. Her constant prayer, "O my Lord! give her the living child, and in no wise slay it," came from a heart as true as that of the real mother in King Solomon's judgment. "Let him live, let him live, even though I may never set eyes upon him again. Have pity upon his father! Grant that he may come home safe, and live happily with her whom he loves so tenderly—so tenderly, O God." And then she would burst into tears, and drop asleep at last, sobbing.
Molly wasn't in great health, and maybe that made her a bit more imaginative; but it's clear that both her daytime thoughts and nighttime dreams were consumed by the worry of Roger being sick and alone in those harsh lands. Her constant prayer, "Oh my Lord! Please give her the living child, and don’t let it die," came from a heart as genuine as that of the real mother in King Solomon's story. "Let him live, let him live, even if I may never see him again. Have mercy on his father! Please let him come home safe and be happy with the one he loves so deeply—so deeply, oh God." And then she would break down in tears and eventually fall asleep, still sobbing.
CHAPTER XXXVIII.
MR. KIRKPATRICK, Q.C.
Cynthia was always the same with Molly: kind, sweet-tempered, ready to help, professing a great deal of love for her, and probably feeling as much as she did for any one in the world. But Molly had reached to this superficial depth of affection and intimacy in the first few weeks of Cynthia's residence in her father's house; and if she had been of a nature prone to analyse the character of one whom she loved dearly, she might have perceived that, with all Cynthia's apparent frankness, there were certain limits beyond which her confidence did not go; where her reserve began, and her real self was shrouded in mystery. For instance, her relations with Mr. Preston were often very puzzling to Molly. She was sure that there had been a much greater intimacy between them formerly at Ashcombe, and that the remembrance of this was often very galling and irritating to Cynthia, who was as evidently desirous of forgetting it as he was anxious to make her remember it. But why this intimacy had ceased, why Cynthia disliked him so extremely now, and many other unexplained circumstances connected with these two facts, were Cynthia's secrets; and she effectually baffled all Molly's innocent attempts during the first glow of her friendship for Cynthia, to learn the girlish antecedents of her companion's life. Every now and then Molly came to a dead wall, beyond which she could not pass—at least with the delicate instruments which were all she chose to use. Perhaps Cynthia might have told all there was to tell to a more forcible curiosity, which knew how to improve every slip of the tongue and every fit of temper to its own gratification. But Molly's was the interest of affection, not the coarser desire of knowing everything for a little excitement; and as soon as she saw that Cynthia did not wish to tell her anything about that period of her life, Molly left off referring to it. But if Cynthia had preserved a sweet tranquillity of manner and an unvarying kindness for Molly during the winter of which there is question, at present she was the only person to whom the beauty's ways were unchanged. Mr. Gibson's influence had been good for her as long as she saw that he liked her; she had tried to keep as high a place in his good opinion as she could, and had curbed many a little sarcasm against her mother, and many a twisting of the absolute truth when he was by. Now there was a constant uneasiness about her which made her more cowardly than before; and even her partisan, Molly, could not help being aware of the distinct equivocations she occasionally used when anything in Mr. Gibson's words or behaviour pressed her too hard. Her repartees to her mother were less frequent than they had been, but there was often the unusual phenomenon of pettishness in her behaviour to her. These changes in humour and disposition, here described all at once, were in themselves a series of delicate alterations of relative conduct spread over many months—many winter months of long evenings and bad weather, which bring out discords of character, as a dash of cold water brings out the fading colours of an old fresco.
Cynthia was always the same with Molly: kind, sweet-natured, eager to help, expressing a lot of love for her, and probably feeling as much love for her as she did for anyone else in the world. But Molly had only reached this surface level of affection and closeness in the first few weeks of Cynthia living in her father's house; and if she had been the type to analyze the character of someone she loved dearly, she might have noticed that, despite Cynthia's apparent openness, there were certain limits beyond which her trust didn’t extend; where her reserve began, and her true self was cloaked in mystery. For example, her relationship with Mr. Preston often puzzled Molly. She was certain that there had been a much closer connection between them back at Ashcombe, and that this memory was often very distressing for Cynthia, who seemed just as eager to forget it as he was to remind her of it. But why this closeness had ended, why Cynthia now disliked him so much, and many other unexplained aspects related to these facts were Cynthia's secrets; and she effectively thwarted all of Molly's innocent attempts during the initial excitement of their friendship to discover the background of her companion's life. Every now and then, Molly hit a dead end, beyond which she couldn’t go—at least not with the gentle methods she preferred. Perhaps Cynthia might have revealed everything to a more aggressive curiosity, one that could exploit every slip of the tongue and every mood for its own satisfaction. But Molly's interest was driven by affection, not the coarser urge to know everything for a little thrill; and as soon as she realized that Cynthia didn’t want to share anything about that chapter of her life, Molly stopped bringing it up. However, if Cynthia maintained a calm demeanor and unwavering kindness toward Molly during the winter in question, she was now the only person to whom the beautiful girl's behavior remained unchanged. Mr. Gibson's influence had been positive for her as long as she sensed that he admired her; she tried to keep a good standing in his eyes and suppressed many sarcastic comments about her mother, as well as twisting the truth when he was around. Now there was a constant unease about her that made her more timid than before; even her supporter, Molly, couldn’t help but notice the clear evasions she sometimes exhibited when Mr. Gibson's words or actions pressured her too much. Her comebacks to her mother became less frequent, but there were often incidents of irritability in her interactions with her. These shifts in mood and behavior, described all at once, represented a series of subtle changes in how she related to others over many months—many winter months of long evenings and dreary weather, which expose discord in character just as a splash of cold water reveals the fading colors of an old fresco.
During much of this time Mr. Preston had been at Ashcombe; for Lord Cumnor had not been able to find an agent whom he liked to replace Mr. Preston; and while the inferior situation remained vacant Mr. Preston had undertaken to do the duties of both. Mrs. Goodenough had had a serious illness; and the little society at Hollingford did not care to meet while one of their habitual set was scarcely out of danger. So there had been very little visiting; and though Miss Browning said that the absence of the temptations of society was very agreeable to cultivated minds, after the dissipations of the previous autumn, when there were parties every week to welcome Mr. Preston, yet Miss Phœbe let out in confidence that she and her sister had fallen into the habit of going to bed at nine o'clock, for they found cribbage night after night, from five o'clock till ten, rather too much of a good thing. To tell the truth, that winter, if peaceful, was monotonous in Hollingford; and the whole circle of gentility there was delighted to be stirred up in March by the intelligence that Mr. Kirkpatrick, the newly-made Q.C., was coming on a visit for a couple of days to his sister-in-law, Mrs. Gibson. Mrs. Goodenough's room was the very centre of gossip; gossip had been her daily bread through her life, gossip was meat and wine to her now.
During much of this time, Mr. Preston had been at Ashcombe because Lord Cumnor couldn’t find an agent he liked to replace Mr. Preston. Since the lower position remained vacant, Mr. Preston had taken on the responsibilities of both. Mrs. Goodenough had a serious illness, and the small community in Hollingford didn’t feel comfortable gathering while one of their regular members was barely out of danger. As a result, there had been very little socializing. Although Miss Browning claimed that the absence of social distractions was quite nice for refined minds after the parties of the previous autumn, when there were events every week to celebrate Mr. Preston, Miss Phoebe confided that she and her sister had gotten into the routine of going to bed at nine o'clock, finding card games night after night, from five to ten, a bit too much of a good thing. To be honest, that winter, while peaceful, was also dull in Hollingford, and the entire circle of genteel society was thrilled in March when they heard that Mr. Kirkpatrick, the newly appointed Q.C., was coming to visit his sister-in-law, Mrs. Gibson, for a couple of days. Mrs. Goodenough's room was the center of gossip; gossip had been her daily bread throughout her life, and it was like food and drink to her now.
"Dear-ah-me!" said the old lady, rousing herself so as to sit upright in her easy-chair, and propping herself with her hands on the arms; "who would ha' thought she'd such grand relations! Why, Mr. Ashton told me once that a Queen's counsel was as like to be a judge as a kitten is like to be a cat. And to think of her being as good as a sister to a judge! I saw one oncst; and I know I thought as I shouldn't wish for a better winter-cloak than his old robes would make me, if I could only find out where I could get 'em second-hand. And I know she'd her silk gowns turned and dyed and cleaned, and, for aught I know, turned again, while she lived at Ashcombe. Keeping a school, too, and so near akin to this Queen's counsel all the time! Well, to be sure, it wasn't much of a school—only ten young ladies at the best o' times; so perhaps he never heard of it."
"Oh my goodness!" said the old lady, sitting up straight in her easy chair and propping herself up with her hands on the arms. "Who would have thought she had such impressive relatives! Why, Mr. Ashton once told me that a Queen's Counsel is just as likely to become a judge as a kitten is to become a cat. And to think she's practically a sister to a judge! I saw one once, and I remember thinking I wouldn’t mind having his old robes as a winter coat if I could find out where to get them second-hand. And I know she had her silk gowns altered, dyed, and cleaned, and for all I know, altered again while she lived at Ashcombe. Running a school too, and so closely related to this Queen's Counsel the whole time! Well, it wasn't much of a school—only ten young ladies at most; so maybe he never heard about it."
"I've been wondering what they'll give him to dinner," said Miss Browning. "It is an unlucky time for visitors; no game to be had, and lamb so late this year, and chicken hardly to be had for love or money."
"I've been thinking about what they'll serve him for dinner," said Miss Browning. "This is a bad time for guests; there’s no game available, lamb is late this year, and you can hardly find chicken for love or money."
"He'll have to put up with calf's head, that he will," said Mrs. Goodenough, solemnly. "If I'd ha' got my usual health I'd copy out a receipt of my grandmother's for a rolled calf's head, and send it to Mrs. Gibson—the doctor has been very kind to me all through this illness—I wish my daughter in Combermere would send me some autumn chickens—I'd pass 'em on to the doctor, that I would; but she's been a-killing of 'em all, and a-sending of them to me, and the last she sent she wrote me word was the last."
"He'll have to deal with calf's head, that's for sure," said Mrs. Goodenough, seriously. "If I had my usual health, I’d write down a recipe from my grandmother for a rolled calf's head and send it to Mrs. Gibson—the doctor has been very nice to me throughout this illness—I wish my daughter in Combermere would send me some autumn chickens—I’d give them to the doctor, for sure; but she’s been killing them all and sending them to me, and the last one she sent me said it was the last."
"I wonder if they'll give a party for him!" suggested Miss Phœbe. "I should like to see a Queen's counsel for once in my life. I have seen javelin-men, but that's the greatest thing in the legal line I ever came across."
"I wonder if they’ll throw a party for him!" suggested Miss Phœbe. "I would love to see a Queen's counsel at least once in my life. I’ve seen javelin throwers, but that’s the most impressive thing in the legal world I’ve ever encountered."
"They'll ask Mr. Ashton, of course," said Miss Browning. "The three black graces, Law, Physic, and Divinity, as the song calls them. Whenever there's a second course, there's always the clergyman of the parish invited in any family of gentility."
"They'll definitely ask Mr. Ashton," said Miss Browning. "The three black graces, Law, Physic, and Divinity, as the song describes them. Whenever there's a second course, the parish clergyman is always invited in any respectable family."
"I wonder if he's married!" said Mrs. Goodenough. Miss Phœbe had been feeling the same wonder, but had not thought it maidenly to express it, even to her sister, who was the source of knowledge, having met Mrs. Gibson in the street on her way to Mrs. Goodenough's.
"I wonder if he's married!" said Mrs. Goodenough. Miss Phœbe had been wondering the same thing but didn’t think it was proper to say anything, even to her sister, who was the one with the scoop after running into Mrs. Gibson on her way to Mrs. Goodenough's.
"Yes, he's married, and must have several children, for Mrs. Gibson said that Cynthia Kirkpatrick had paid them a visit in London, to have lessons with her cousins. And she said that his wife was a most accomplished woman, and of good family, though she brought him no fortune."
"Yes, he's married and probably has a few kids, because Mrs. Gibson mentioned that Cynthia Kirkpatrick visited them in London to take lessons with her cousins. She also said that his wife is a very skilled person from a good background, even though she didn't bring any money to the marriage."
"It's a very creditable connection, I'm sure; it's only a wonder to me as how we've heard so little talk of it before," said Mrs. Goodenough. "At the first look of the thing, I shouldn't ha' thought Mrs. Gibson was one to hide away her fine relations under a bushel; indeed, for that matter, we're all of us fond o' turning the best breadth o' the gown to the front. I remember, speaking o' breadths, how I've undone my skirts many a time and oft to put a stain or a grease-spot next to poor Mr. Goodenough. He'd a soft kind of heart when first we was married, and he said, says he, 'Patty, link thy right arm into my left one, then thou'lt be nearer to my heart;' and so we kept up the habit, when, poor man, he'd a deal more to think on than romancing on which side his heart lay; so, as I said, I always put my damaged breadths on the right hand, and when we walked arm in arm, as we always did, no one was never the wiser."
"It's a really impressive connection, I'm sure; it's just surprising to me how we've heard so little about it before," said Mrs. Goodenough. "At first glance, I wouldn't have thought Mrs. Gibson was someone to hide her impressive relatives; in fact, we all like to show off the best part of our outfits. I remember, speaking of outfits, how I've often adjusted my skirts to hide a stain or a grease spot next to poor Mr. Goodenough. He had a soft heart when we first got married, and he said, 'Patty, link your right arm into my left one, then you'll be closer to my heart;' and so we kept that habit, even though, poor man, he had a lot more on his mind than daydreaming about where his heart was; so, as I said, I always put my damaged parts on the right side, and when we walked arm in arm, as we always did, no one was ever the wiser."
"I should not be surprised if he invited Cynthia to pay him another visit in London," said Miss Browning. "If he did it when he was poor, he's twenty times more likely to do it now he's a Queen's counsel."
"I wouldn't be surprised if he invited Cynthia to visit him again in London," said Miss Browning. "If he did it when he was broke, he's a hundred times more likely to do it now that he's a Queen's Counsel."
"Ay, work it by the rule o' three, and she stands a good chance. I only hope it won't turn her head; going up visiting in London at her age. Why, I was fifty before ever I went!"
"Yeah, follow the rule of three, and she has a good chance. I just hope it doesn't go to her head; visiting London at her age. I mean, I was fifty before I ever went!"
"But she has been in France; she's quite a travelled young lady," said Miss Phœbe.
"But she has been to France; she's quite the well-traveled young lady," said Miss Phoebe.
Mrs. Goodenough shook her head for a whole minute before she gave vent to her opinion.
Mrs. Goodenough shook her head for a full minute before she shared her opinion.
"It's a risk," said she, "a great risk. I don't like saying so to the doctor, but I shouldn't like having my daughter, if I was him, so cheek-by-jowl with a girl as was brought up in the country where Robespierre and Bonyparte was born."
"It's a risk," she said, "a big risk. I don't like telling the doctor this, but I wouldn't want my daughter, if I were him, living so close to a girl who grew up in the country where Robespierre and Bonaparte were born."
"But Buonaparte was a Corsican," said Miss Browning, who was much farther advanced both in knowledge and in liberality of opinions than Mrs. Goodenough. "And there's a great opportunity for cultivation of the mind afforded by intercourse with foreign countries. I always admire Cynthia's grace of manner, never too shy to speak, yet never putting herself forwards; she's quite a help to a party; and if she has a few airs and graces, why they're natural at her age! Now as for dear Molly, there's a kind of awkwardness about her—she broke one of our best china cups last time she was at a party at our house, and spilt the coffee on the new carpet; and then she got so confused that she hardly did anything but sit in a corner and hold her tongue all the rest of the evening."
"But Buonaparte was from Corsica," said Miss Browning, who was much further along in both knowledge and open-mindedness than Mrs. Goodenough. "Interacting with people from different countries really broadens the mind. I always admire Cynthia's poise; she's never too shy to speak but doesn’t hog the spotlight either. She’s quite the asset at gatherings, and if she has a few little quirks, well, that's just natural at her age! Now, as for dear Molly, there’s an awkwardness about her—she broke one of our best china cups the last time she was at our party and spilled coffee on the new carpet; then she got so flustered that she hardly did anything but sit in a corner and keep quiet for the rest of the evening."
"She was so sorry for what she'd done, sister," said Miss Phœbe, in a gentle tone of reproach; she was always faithful to Molly.
"She felt really sorry for what she had done, sister," said Miss Phœbe, in a soft tone of disappointment; she was always loyal to Molly.
"Well, and did I say she wasn't? but was there any need for her to be stupid all the evening after?"
"Well, did I say she wasn't? But was there really any need for her to be acting stupid the whole evening afterward?"
"But you were rather sharp,—rather displeased—"
"But you were quite sharp—rather upset—"
"And I think it my duty to be sharp, ay, and cross too, when I see young folks careless. And when I see my duty clear, I do it; I'm not one to shrink from it, and they ought to be grateful to me. It's not every one that will take the trouble of reproving them, as Mrs. Goodenough knows. I'm very fond of Molly Gibson, very, for her own sake and for her mother's too; I'm not sure if I don't think she's worth half-a-dozen Cynthias, but for all that she shouldn't break my best china teacup, and then sit doing nothing for her livelihood all the rest of the evening."
"And I feel it's my responsibility to be strict, yes, and a bit grumpy too, when I see young people not taking things seriously. When my responsibility is clear, I take action; I’m not the type to back down, and they should appreciate me for it. Not everyone is willing to take the time to correct them, as Mrs. Goodenough knows. I really care for Molly Gibson, a lot, both for her sake and her mother’s too; I can’t help but think she’s worth way more than half a dozen Cynthias. Still, she shouldn’t break my favorite china teacup and then just sit around doing nothing for her living the rest of the evening."
By this time Mrs. Goodenough gave evident signs of being tired; Molly's misdemeanors and Miss Browning's broken teacup were not as exciting subjects of conversation as Mrs. Gibson's newly-discovered good luck in having a successful London lawyer for a relation.
By now, Mrs. Goodenough clearly looked tired; Molly's mischief and Miss Browning's broken teacup were not as interesting to talk about as Mrs. Gibson's recent stroke of luck in having a successful London lawyer as a relative.
Mr. Kirkpatrick had been, like many other men, struggling on in his profession, and encumbered with a large family of his own; he was ready to do a good turn for his connections, if it occasioned him no loss of time, and if (which was, perhaps, a primary condition) he remembered their existence. Cynthia's visit to Doughty Street nine or ten years ago had not made much impression upon him after he had once suggested its feasibility to his good-natured wife. He was even rather startled every now and then by the appearance of a pretty little girl amongst his own children, as they trooped in to dessert, and had to remind himself who she was. But as it was his custom to leave the table almost immediately and to retreat into a small back-room called his study, to immerse himself in papers for the rest of the evening, the child had not made much impression upon him; and probably the next time he remembered her existence was when Mrs. Kirkpatrick wrote to him to beg him to receive Cynthia for a night on her way to school at Boulogne. The same request was repeated on her return; but it so happened that he had not seen her either time; and only dimly remembered some remarks which his wife had made on one of these occasions, that it seemed to her rather hazardous to send so young a girl so long a journey without making more provision for her safety than Mrs. Kirkpatrick had done. He knew that his wife would fill up all deficiencies in this respect as if Cynthia had been her own daughter; and thought no more about her until he received an invitation to attend Mrs. Kirkpatrick's wedding with Mr. Gibson, the highly-esteemed surgeon of Hollingford, &c. &c.—an attention which irritated instead of pleasing him. "Does the woman think I have nothing to do but run about the country in search of brides and bridegrooms, when this great case of Houghton v. Houghton is coming on, and I haven't a moment to spare?" he asked of his wife.
Mr. Kirkpatrick had been, like many other men, trying to get by in his job while dealing with a big family of his own. He was willing to help out his friends, as long as it didn’t take up too much of his time and, most importantly, if he remembered they existed. Cynthia's visit to Doughty Street nine or ten years ago didn't really stick with him after he had casually mentioned it to his kind-hearted wife. Sometimes he was even surprised to see a pretty little girl among his own children as they came in for dessert, needing to remind himself who she was. However, since he typically left the table almost right away to retreat to a small back room he called his study, where he buried himself in paperwork for the rest of the evening, the child didn’t leave much of an impression on him. Probably the next time he thought of her was when Mrs. Kirkpatrick wrote him, asking if he could host Cynthia for a night on her way to school in Boulogne. She sent the same request when Cynthia returned, but he happened to miss her both times and only vaguely remembered his wife mentioning that it seemed rather risky to send such a young girl on a long journey without more safety measures than Mrs. Kirkpatrick had arranged. He knew his wife would handle all the necessary details as if Cynthia were her own daughter, and he didn’t think about her again until he got an invitation to attend Mrs. Kirkpatrick's wedding to Mr. Gibson, the highly-respected surgeon of Hollingford, etc. etc.—which annoyed him instead of making him happy. “Does she really think I have nothing to do but travel around the country looking for brides and grooms when this big case of Houghton v. Houghton is coming up, and I don’t have a minute to spare?” he asked his wife.
"Perhaps she never heard of it," suggested Mrs. Kirkpatrick.
"Maybe she never heard of it," suggested Mrs. Kirkpatrick.
"Nonsense! the case has been in the papers for days."
"Nonsense! This case has been in the news for days."
"But she mayn't know you are engaged in it."
"But she might not know you are involved in it."
"She mayn't," said he, meditatively—such ignorance was possible.
"She might not," he said, thoughtfully—such ignorance was possible.
But now the great case of Houghton v. Houghton was a thing of the past; the hard struggle was over, the comparative table-land of Q. C.-dom gained, and Mr. Kirkpatrick had leisure for family feeling and recollection. One day in the Easter vacation he found himself near Hollingford; he had a Sunday to spare, and he wrote to offer himself as a visitor to the Gibsons from Friday till Monday, expressing strongly (what he really felt, in a less degree,) his wish to make Mr. Gibson's acquaintance. Mr. Gibson, though often overwhelmed with professional business, was always hospitable; and moreover, it was always a pleasure to him to get out of the somewhat confined mental atmosphere which he had breathed over and over again, and have a whiff of fresh air: a glimpse of what was passing in the great world beyond his daily limits of thought and action. So he was ready to give a cordial welcome to his unknown relation. Mrs. Gibson was in a flutter of sentimental delight, which she fancied was family affection, but which might not have been quite so effervescent if Mr. Kirkpatrick had remained in his former position of struggling lawyer, with seven children, living in Doughty Street.
But now the big case of Houghton v. Houghton was a thing of the past; the tough battle was over, the steady ground of Q.C.-dom achieved, and Mr. Kirkpatrick had time for family feelings and memories. One day during the Easter break, he found himself near Hollingford; he had a Sunday to spare, so he wrote to offer to visit the Gibsons from Friday to Monday, expressing strongly (though he felt it less intensely) his desire to meet Mr. Gibson. Mr. Gibson, although often swamped with work, was always welcoming; plus, it was always refreshing for him to escape the somewhat limited mental environment he had been in repeatedly and get a taste of fresh perspectives: a glimpse of what was happening in the wider world beyond his usual thoughts and actions. So he was eager to warmly welcome his unknown relative. Mrs. Gibson was excited with sentimental joy, which she thought was family affection, but might not have felt quite so lively if Mr. Kirkpatrick had still been a struggling lawyer with seven kids living in Doughty Street.
When the two gentlemen met they were attracted towards each other by a similarity of character, with just enough difference in their opinions to make the experience of each, on which such opinions were based, valuable to the other. To Mrs. Gibson, although the bond between them counted for very little in their intercourse, Mr. Kirkpatrick paid very polite attention; and was, in fact, very glad that she had done so well for herself as to marry a sensible and agreeable man, who was able to keep her in comfort, and to behave to her daughter in so liberal a manner. Molly struck him as a delicate-looking girl, who might be very pretty if she had a greater look of health and animation: indeed, looking at her critically, there were beautiful points about her face—long soft grey eyes, black curling eyelashes, rarely-showing dimples, perfect teeth; but there was a languor over all, a slow depression of manner, which contrasted unfavourably with the brightly-coloured Cynthia, sparkling, quick, graceful, and witty. As Mr. Kirkpatrick expressed it afterwards to his wife, he was quite in love with that girl; and Cynthia, as ready to captivate strangers as any little girl of three or four, rose to the occasion, forgot all her cares and despondencies, remembered no longer her regret at having lost something of Mr. Gibson's good opinion, and listened eagerly and made soft replies, intermixed with naïve sallies of droll humour, till Mr. Kirkpatrick was quite captivated. He left Hollingford, almost surprised to have performed a duty, and found it a pleasure. For Mrs. Gibson and Molly he had a general friendly feeling; but he did not care if he never saw them again. But for Mr. Gibson he had a warm respect, a strong personal liking, which he should be glad to have ripen into a friendship, if there was time for it in this bustling world. And he fully resolved to see more of Cynthia; his wife must know her; they must have her up to stay with them in London, and show her something of the world. But, on returning home, Mr. Kirkpatrick found so much work awaiting him that he had to lock up embryo friendships and kindly plans in some safe closet of his mind, and give himself up, body and soul, to the immediate work of his profession. But, in May, he found time to take his wife to the Academy Exhibition, and some portrait there striking him as being like Cynthia, he told his wife more about her and his visit to Hollingford than he had ever had leisure to do before; and the result was that on the next day a letter was sent off to Mrs. Gibson, inviting Cynthia to pay a visit to her cousins in London, and reminding her of many little circumstances that had occurred when she was with them as a child, so as to carry on the clue of friendship from that time to the present.
When the two gentlemen met, they were drawn to each other by their similar characters, with just enough difference in their opinions to make each other's experiences valuable. Mr. Kirkpatrick paid polite attention to Mrs. Gibson, and he was genuinely pleased that she had married a sensible and agreeable man who could provide for her comfortably and was kind to her daughter. Molly seemed like a delicate girl who could be very pretty if she looked healthier and more lively. In fact, when he examined her closely, he noticed beautiful features about her—long, soft grey eyes, black curly eyelashes, seldom-seen dimples, and perfect teeth. However, there was a certain languor about her, a slow melancholy that didn’t compare well to Cynthia, who was vibrant, lively, graceful, and witty. As Mr. Kirkpatrick later told his wife, he was quite taken with Molly. Cynthia, eager to charm new acquaintances like any little girl of three or four, rose to the occasion, forgetting her worries and frustrations, no longer regretting how she felt about Mr. Gibson's opinion of her. She listened intently and replied playfully, mixing in innocent humorous remarks, and Mr. Kirkpatrick found himself completely enchanted. He left Hollingford, surprised to have found pleasure in what he thought was just a duty. He felt a general friendliness toward Mrs. Gibson and Molly but didn’t mind if he never saw them again. However, he held deep respect and genuine fondness for Mr. Gibson and hoped to develop a friendship if there was time in this hectic world. He was determined to see more of Cynthia; his wife needed to get to know her. They should invite her to stay with them in London and show her more of the world. But when he returned home, Mr. Kirkpatrick found so much work waiting that he had to tuck away his budding friendships and kind plans in a corner of his mind and devote himself entirely to his professional duties. Yet in May, he managed to take his wife to the Academy Exhibition, and when he saw a portrait that reminded him of Cynthia, he told his wife more about her and his visit to Hollingford than he had ever found time to share. The result was that the next day, a letter was sent to Mrs. Gibson, inviting Cynthia to visit her cousins in London and reminding her of various little moments from her childhood visits, so as to maintain the thread of friendship from then to now.
On its receipt, this letter was greeted in various ways by the four people who sate round the breakfast-table. Mrs. Gibson read it to herself first. Then, without telling what its contents were, so that her auditors were quite in the dark as to what her remarks applied, she said,—
On receiving this letter, the four people sitting around the breakfast table reacted in different ways. Mrs. Gibson read it quietly to herself first. Then, without revealing its contents, leaving everyone else completely unaware of what she was referencing, she said,—
"I think they might have remembered that I am a generation nearer to them than she is, but nobody thinks of family affection now-a days; and I liked him so much, and bought a new cookery-book, all to make it pleasant and agreeable and what he was used to." She said all this in a plaintive, aggrieved tone of voice; but as no one knew to what she was referring, it was difficult to offer her consolation. Her husband was the first to speak.
"I think they might have remembered that I'm closer in age to them than she is, but nobody really cares about family affection these days; and I liked him a lot and even bought a new cookbook just to make things nice and familiar for him." She said all this in a sad, frustrated tone, but since no one knew what she was talking about, it was hard to comfort her. Her husband was the first to respond.
"If you want us to sympathize with you, tell us what is the nature of your woe."
"If you want us to feel for you, explain what your struggle is."
"Why, I daresay it's what he means as a very kind attention, only I think I ought to have been asked before Cynthia," said she, reading the letter over again.
"Well, I guess it's his way of showing kindness, but I feel like I should have been asked before Cynthia," she said, reading the letter again.
"Who's he? and what's meant for a 'kind attention'?"
"Who is he? And what does 'kind attention' mean?"
"Mr. Kirkpatrick, to be sure. This letter is from him; and he wants Cynthia to go and pay them a visit, and never says anything about you or me, my dear. And I'm sure we did our best to make it pleasant; and he should have asked us first, I think."
"Mr. Kirkpatrick, for sure. This letter is from him; and he wants Cynthia to go visit them, and he doesn’t mention you or me at all, my dear. I’m sure we did our best to make it nice; and I think he should have asked us first."
"As I couldn't possibly have gone, it makes very little difference to me."
"As I couldn't have gone anyway, it doesn't really matter to me."
"But I could have gone; and, at any rate, he should have paid us the compliment: it's only a proper mark of respect, you know. So ungrateful, too, when I gave up my dressing-room on purpose for him!"
"But I could have gone; and anyway, he should have given us that courtesy: it's just a basic sign of respect, you know. So ungrateful, too, when I gave up my dressing room just for him!"
"And I dressed for dinner every day he was here, if we are each to recapitulate all our sacrifices on his behalf. But, for all that, I didn't expect to be invited to his house. I shall be only too glad if he will come again to mine."
"And I dressed for dinner every day he was here, if we’re keeping track of all our sacrifices for him. But even so, I didn’t expect an invitation to his house. I’d be more than happy if he comes back to mine."
"I've a great mind not to let Cynthia go," said Mrs. Gibson reflectively.
"I really don’t want to let Cynthia go," Mrs. Gibson said thoughtfully.
"I can't go, mamma," said Cynthia, colouring. "My gowns are all so shabby, and my old bonnet must do for the summer."
"I can't go, Mom," said Cynthia, blushing. "My dresses are all so worn out, and my old hat will have to last for the summer."
"Well, but you can buy a new one; and I'm sure it is high time you should get yourself another silk gown. You must have been saving up a great deal, for I don't know when you've had any new clothes."
"Well, you can buy a new one; and I'm sure it's about time you got yourself another silk dress. You must have been saving up a lot because I don’t know the last time you got any new clothes."
Cynthia began to say something, but stopped short. She went on buttering her toast, but she held it in her hand without eating it; without looking up either, as, after a minute or two of silence, she spoke again:—
Cynthia started to say something but paused. She continued buttering her toast, though she held it in her hand without actually eating it; without looking up either, after a minute or two of silence, she spoke again:—
"I cannot go. I should like it very much; but I really cannot go. Please, mamma, write at once, and refuse it."
"I can't go. I would really like to; but I just can't go. Please, mom, write back right away and say no."
"Nonsense, child! When a man in Mr. Kirkpatrick's position comes forward to offer a favour, it does not do to decline it without giving a sufficient reason. So kind of him as it is, too!"
"Nonsense, kid! When someone in Mr. Kirkpatrick's position comes forward to help, it's not wise to turn it down without a good reason. It's really generous of him, too!"
"Suppose you offer to go instead of me?" proposed Cynthia.
"How about you go instead of me?" suggested Cynthia.
"No, no! that won't do," said Mr. Gibson, decidedly. "You can't transfer invitations in that way. But, really, this excuse about your clothes does appear to be very trivial, Cynthia, if you have no other reason to give."
"No, no! That won't work," Mr. Gibson said firmly. "You can't pass on invitations like that. But honestly, this excuse about your clothes seems really trivial, Cynthia, if you don't have any other reason to offer."
"It is a real, true reason to me," said Cynthia, looking up at him as she spoke. "You must let me judge for myself. It would not do to go there in a state of shabbiness, for even in Doughty Street, I remember, my aunt was very particular about dress; and now that Margaret and Helen are grown up, and they visit so much,—pray don't say anything more about it, for I know it would not do."
"It really means a lot to me," Cynthia said, looking up at him as she spoke. "You have to let me decide for myself. It wouldn’t be right to go there looking shabby, because even in Doughty Street, I remember my aunt was very particular about how we dressed; and now that Margaret and Helen have grown up and go out so much—please don’t bring it up anymore, because I know it wouldn’t be appropriate."
"What have you done with all your money, I wonder?" said Mrs. Gibson. "You've twenty pounds a year, thanks to Mr. Gibson and me; and I'm sure you haven't spent more than ten."
"What have you done with all your money, I wonder?" asked Mrs. Gibson. "You have twenty pounds a year, thanks to Mr. Gibson and me; and I'm sure you haven't spent more than ten."
"I hadn't many things when I came back from France," said Cynthia, in a low voice, and evidently troubled by all this questioning. "Pray let it be decided at once; I can't go, and there's an end of it." She got up, and left the room rather suddenly.
"I didn't have many things when I got back from France," Cynthia said quietly, clearly upset by all the questions. "Please let this be settled quickly; I can't go, and that's final." She stood up and left the room rather abruptly.
"I don't understand it at all," said Mrs. Gibson. "Do you, Molly?"
"I don't get it at all," said Mrs. Gibson. "Do you, Molly?"
"No. I know she doesn't like spending money on her dress, and is very careful." Molly said this much, and then was afraid she had made mischief.
"No. I know she doesn't want to spend money on her dress and is very careful." Molly said this much and then worried she had caused trouble.
"But then she must have got the money somewhere. It always has struck me that if you have not extravagant habits, and do not live up to your income, you must have a certain sum to lay by at the end of the year. Have I not often said so, Mr. Gibson?"
"But she must have gotten the money from somewhere. It’s always struck me that if you don’t have extravagant habits and don’t spend all your income, you should have some money saved by the end of the year. Haven't I said that often, Mr. Gibson?"
"Probably."
"Maybe."
"Well, then, apply the same reasoning to Cynthia's case; and then, I ask, what has become of the money?"
"Well, then, use the same reasoning for Cynthia's situation; and then, I want to know, what happened to the money?"
"I cannot tell," said Molly, seeing that she was appealed to. "She may have given it away to some one who wants it."
"I don't know," said Molly, realizing she was being asked. "She might have given it to someone who needs it."
Mr. Gibson put down his newspaper.
Mr. Gibson set down his newspaper.
"It's very clear that she has neither got the dress nor the money necessary for this London visit, and that she doesn't want any more inquiries to be made on the subject. She likes mysteries, in fact, and I detest them. Still, I think it's a desirable thing for her to keep up the acquaintance, or friendship, or whatever it is to be called, with her father's family; and I shall gladly give her ten pounds; and if that's not enough, why, either you must help her out, or she must do without some superfluous article of dress or another."
"It's obvious that she doesn't have the dress or the money needed for this trip to London, and she doesn't want any more questions about it. She enjoys mysteries, but I can't stand them. Still, I think it's important for her to maintain her relationship, or friendship, or whatever you want to call it, with her father's family; and I'm willing to give her ten pounds. If that's not enough, either you'll need to help her out, or she'll have to do without some extra piece of clothing or something."
"I'm sure there never was such a kind, dear, generous man as you are, Mr. Gibson," said his wife. "To think of your being a stepfather! and so good to my poor fatherless girl! But, Molly my dear, I think you'll acknowledge that you too are very fortunate in your stepmother. Are not you, love? And what happy tête-à-têtes we shall have together when Cynthia goes to London! I'm not sure if I don't get on better with you even than with her, though she is my own child; for, as dear papa says so truly, there is a love of mystery about her; and if I hate anything, it is the slightest concealment or reserve. Ten pounds! Why, it will quite set her up, buy her a couple of gowns and a new bonnet, and I don't know what all! Dear Mr. Gibson, how generous you are!"
"I'm sure there’s never been a kinder, dearer, more generous man than you, Mr. Gibson," said his wife. "To think you’re going to be a stepfather! And so good to my poor fatherless girl! But, Molly, my dear, I think you’ll agree that you’re also very lucky to have your stepmother, right? And just think of the fun chats we’ll have together when Cynthia goes to London! I’m not sure I don’t get along with you better than with her, even though she’s my own child; because, as dear dad says, there’s an air of mystery about her; and if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s the slightest bit of concealment or reserve. Ten pounds! That'll really help her out, buy her a couple of dresses and a new hat, and who knows what else! Dear Mr. Gibson, how generous you are!"
Something very like "Pshaw!" was growled out from behind the newspaper.
Something that sounded a lot like "Pshaw!" was muttered from behind the newspaper.
"May I go and tell her?" said Molly, rising up.
"Can I go tell her?" Molly asked as she stood up.
"Yes, do, love. Tell her it would be so ungrateful to refuse; and tell her that your father wishes her to go; and tell her, too, that it would be quite wrong not to avail herself of an opening which may by-and-by be extended to the rest of the family. I am sure if they ask me—which certainly they ought to do—I won't say before they asked Cynthia, because I never think of myself, and am really the most forgiving person in the world, in forgiving slights;—but when they do ask me, which they are sure to do, I shall never be content till, by putting in a little hint here and a little hint there, I've induced them to send you an invitation. A month or two in London would do you so much good, Molly."
"Yes, please, sweetheart. Tell her it would be really rude to decline; and let her know that your dad wants her to go; also tell her that it would be wrong not to take advantage of an opportunity that might later be offered to the rest of the family. I'm sure if they ask me—which they definitely should—I'll make sure not to say anything before asking Cynthia, since I never think of myself and I’m truly the most forgiving person when it comes to slights; but when they do ask me, which they will, I won’t rest until I’ve dropped a few hints here and there to get them to invite you. A month or two in London would do you a world of good, Molly."
Molly had left the room before this speech was ended, and Mr. Gibson was occupied with his newspaper; but Mrs. Gibson finished it to herself very much to her own satisfaction; for, after all, it was better to have some one of the family going on the visit, though she might not be the right person, than to refuse it altogether, and never to have the opportunity of saying anything about it. As Mr. Gibson was so kind to Cynthia, she too would be kind to Molly, and dress her becomingly, and invite young men to the house; do all the things, in fact, which Molly and her father did not want to have done, and throw the old stumbling-blocks in the way of their unrestrained intercourse, which was the one thing they desired to have, free and open, and without the constant dread of her jealousy.
Molly had left the room before Mr. Gibson finished speaking, and he was focused on his newspaper. However, Mrs. Gibson silently wrapped up her thoughts to her own satisfaction. After all, it was better to have someone from the family going on the visit, even if she wasn’t the ideal choice, than to refuse it entirely and miss the chance to talk about it. Since Mr. Gibson was so kind to Cynthia, she would also be kind to Molly, dress her nicely, and invite young men over to the house; in fact, she would do all the things that Molly and her father didn’t want, and create obstacles to their unreserved interactions, which was exactly what they wished to have—free and open, without the constant fear of her jealousy.
CHAPTER XXXIX.
SECRET THOUGHTS OOZE OUT.
Molly found Cynthia in the drawing-room, standing in the bow-window, looking out on the garden. She started as Molly came up to her.
Molly found Cynthia in the living room, standing in the bay window, looking out at the garden. She jumped when Molly approached her.
"Oh, Molly," said she, putting her arms out towards her, "I am always so glad to have you with me!"
"Oh, Molly," she said, reaching out her arms to her, "I’m always so happy to have you here with me!"
It was outbursts of affection such as these that always called Molly back, if she had been ever so unconsciously wavering in her allegiance to Cynthia. She had been wishing downstairs that Cynthia would be less reserved, and not have so many secrets; but now it seemed almost like treason to have wanted her to be anything but what she was. Never had any one more than Cynthia the power spoken of by Goldsmith when he wrote—
It was moments of affection like these that always drew Molly back, even if she had been unknowingly questioning her loyalty to Cynthia. She had been hoping downstairs that Cynthia would open up more and not have so many secrets; but now it felt almost like betrayal to want her to be anything other than who she was. No one had more of the power mentioned by Goldsmith when he wrote
He threw off his friends like a huntsman his pack, For he knew when he liked he could whistle them back. |
"Do you know, I think you'll be glad to hear what I've got to tell you," said Molly. "I think you would really like to go to London; shouldn't you?"
"Do you know, I think you'll be happy to hear what I have to say," said Molly. "I really think you'd enjoy going to London; shouldn't you?"
"Yes, but it's of no use liking," said Cynthia. "Don't you begin about it, Molly, for the thing is settled; and I can't tell you why, but I can't go."
"Yeah, but it doesn't help to like it," said Cynthia. "Don't start on that, Molly, because it's already decided; and I can't explain why, but I just can't go."
"It is only the money, dear. And papa has been so kind about it. He wants you to go; he thinks you ought to keep up relationships; and he is going to give you ten pounds."
"It's just the money, dear. And Dad has been so generous about it. He wants you to go; he thinks you should maintain your connections; and he's going to give you ten pounds."
"How kind he is!" said Cynthia. "But I ought not to take it. I wish I had known you years ago; I should have been different to what I am."
"How nice he is!" said Cynthia. "But I really shouldn't accept it. I wish I had met you years ago; I would have been a different person than I am now."
"Never mind that! We like you as you are; we don't want you different. You'll really hurt papa if you don't take it. Why do you hesitate? Do you think Roger won't like it?"
"Don't worry about that! We like you just the way you are; we don't want you to change. You'll really upset Dad if you don't accept it. Why are you hesitating? Do you think Roger won't like it?"
"Roger! no, I wasn't thinking about him! Why should he care? I shall be there and back again before he even hears about it."
"Sure! No, I wasn't thinking about him! Why would he care? I’ll be there and back before he even hears about it."
"Then you will go?" said Molly.
"Are you really going to leave?" Molly asked.
Cynthia thought for a minute or two. "Yes, I will," said she, at length. "I daresay it's not wise; but it will be pleasant, and I'll go. Where is Mr. Gibson? I want to thank him. Oh, how kind he is! Molly, you're a lucky girl!"
Cynthia paused for a minute or two. "Yes, I will," she finally said. "I know it might not be the smartest decision, but it will be nice, and I'm going. Where's Mr. Gibson? I want to thank him. Oh, how kind he is! Molly, you’re so lucky!"
"I?" said Molly, quite startled at being told this; for she had been feeling as if so many things were going wrong, almost as if they would never go right again.
"I?" said Molly, quite surprised to hear this; because she had been feeling like so many things were going wrong, almost like they would never go right again.
"There he is!" said Cynthia. "I hear him in the hall!" And down she flew, and laying her hands on Mr. Gibson's arm, she thanked him with such warm impulsiveness, and in so pretty and caressing a manner, that something of his old feeling of personal liking for her returned, and he forgot for a time the causes of disapproval he had against her.
"There he is!" Cynthia exclaimed. "I can hear him in the hall!" She rushed down and grabbed Mr. Gibson's arm, thanking him so genuinely and sweetly that a bit of his old fondness for her came back, and he temporarily set aside his reasons for disapproving of her.
"There, there!" said he, "that's enough, my dear! It's quite right you should keep up with your relations; there's nothing more to be said about it."
"There, there!" he said, "that's enough, my dear! It's totally fine for you to stay in touch with your family; there's nothing more to discuss about it."
"I do think your father is the most charming man I know," said Cynthia, on her return to Molly; "and it's that which always makes me so afraid of losing his good opinion, and fret so when I think he is displeased with me. And now let us think all about this London visit. It will be delightful, won't it? I can make ten pounds go ever so far; and in some ways it will be such a comfort to get out of Hollingford."
"I really think your dad is the most charming guy I know," Cynthia said when she returned to Molly. "And that's why I'm always so worried about losing his good opinion and get so anxious when I think he might be upset with me. Now let's focus on this trip to London. It's going to be great, right? I can stretch ten pounds pretty far, and in some ways, it'll be such a relief to get out of Hollingford."
"Will it?" said Molly, rather wistfully.
"Will it?" Molly asked, a bit sadly.
"Oh, yes! You know I don't mean that it will be a comfort to leave you; that will be anything but a comfort. But, after all, a country town is a country town, and London is London. You need not smile at my truisms; I've always had a sympathy with M. de la Palisse,—
"Oh, yes! You know I don't mean that it will be a comfort to leave you; that definitely won't be comforting. But, in the end, a small town is a small town, and London is London. You don’t have to smile at my obvious statements; I’ve always felt a connection with M. de la Palisse,─
M. de la Palisse est mort In losing one's life; Un quart d'heure avant sa mort He was alive. |
sang she, in so gay a manner that she puzzled Molly, as she often did, by her change of mood from the gloomy decision with which she had refused to accept the invitation only half an hour ago. She suddenly took Molly round the waist, and began waltzing round the room with her, to the imminent danger of the various little tables, loaded with "objets d'art" (as Mrs. Gibson delighted to call them) with which the drawing-room was crowded. She avoided them, however, with her usual skill; but they both stood still at last, surprised at Mrs. Gibson's surprise, as she stood at the door, looking at the whirl going on before her.
sang she, in such a cheerful way that she confused Molly, as she often did, with her quick shift in mood from the gloomy decision to decline the invitation just half an hour earlier. Suddenly, she wrapped her arms around Molly's waist and started waltzing around the room, putting the various little tables loaded with "objets d'art" (as Mrs. Gibson loved to call them) at risk. However, she skillfully avoided them, but eventually, they both stopped, surprised by Mrs. Gibson's astonishment as she stood at the door, watching the chaos unfolding in front of her.
"Upon my word, I only hope you are not going crazy, both of you! What's all this about, pray?"
"Honestly, I just hope both of you aren't losing it! What's this all about, really?"
"Only because I'm so glad I'm going to London, mamma," said Cynthia, demurely.
"Just because I'm really excited to be going to London, Mom," said Cynthia, shyly.
"I'm not sure if it's quite the thing for an engaged young lady to be so much beside herself at the prospect of gaiety. In my time, our great pleasure in our lovers' absence was in thinking about them."
"I'm not sure it's appropriate for an engaged young woman to be so excited about the thought of having fun. Back in my day, we found great joy in imagining our lovers when they were away."
"I should have thought that would have given you pain, because you would have had to remember that they were away, which ought to have made you unhappy. Now, to tell you the truth, just at the moment I had forgotten all about Roger. I hope it wasn't very wrong. Osborne looks as if he did all my share as well as his own of the fretting after Roger. How ill he looked yesterday!"
"I would have thought that would have hurt you since you would have had to remember they were gone, which should have made you sad. Honestly, I had completely forgotten about Roger for a moment. I hope that wasn't too wrong. Osborne seems like he took on all my worry about Roger as well as his own. He looked so sick yesterday!"
"Yes," said Molly; "I didn't know if any one besides me had noticed it. I was quite shocked."
"Yeah," said Molly; "I didn't know if anyone else had noticed it. I was really shocked."
"Ah," said Mrs. Gibson, "I'm afraid that young man won't live long—very much afraid," and she shook her head ominously.
"Ah," said Mrs. Gibson, "I'm worried that young man won't live long—very worried," and she shook her head in a worrying way.
"Oh, what will happen if he dies!" exclaimed Molly, suddenly sitting down, and thinking of that strange, mysterious wife who never made her appearance, whose very existence was never spoken about—and Roger away too!
"Oh, what will happen if he dies!" exclaimed Molly, suddenly sitting down and thinking about that strange, mysterious wife who never showed up, and whose existence was never mentioned—and Roger is away too!
"Well, it would be very sad, of course, and we should all feel it very much, I've no doubt; for I've always been very fond of Osborne; in fact, before Roger became, as it were, my own flesh and blood, I liked Osborne better: but we must not forget the living, dear Molly," (for Molly's eyes were filling with tears at the dismal thoughts presented to her). "Our dear good Roger would, I am sure, do all in his power to fill Osborne's place in every way; and his marriage need not be so long delayed."
"Well, that would be really sad, of course, and I know we’d all feel it deeply; I’ve always liked Osborne a lot. Honestly, before Roger became, in a way, my own family, I liked Osborne even more. But we shouldn’t forget about the living, dear Molly," (since Molly's eyes were filling with tears at these gloomy thoughts). "I’m sure our dear good Roger would do everything he can to take Osborne's place in every way, and his marriage doesn’t have to be put off for too long."
"Don't speak of that in the same breath as Osborne's life, mamma," said Cynthia, hastily.
"Don't mention that in the same breath as Osborne's life, Mom," Cynthia said quickly.
"Why, my dear, it is a very natural thought. For poor Roger's sake, you know, one wishes it not to be so very, very long an engagement; and I was only answering Molly's question, after all. One can't help following out one's thoughts. People must die, you know—young, as well as old."
"Why, my dear, that's a completely natural thought. For poor Roger's sake, you know, one hopes the engagement isn't too long; I was just answering Molly's question, after all. You can't help but follow your thoughts. People do die, you know—young as well as old."
"If I ever suspected Roger of following out his thoughts in a similar way," said Cynthia, "I'd never speak to him again."
"If I ever thought Roger was actually acting on his thoughts like that," said Cynthia, "I'd never talk to him again."
"As if he would!" said Molly, warm in her turn. "You know he never would; and you shouldn't suppose it of him, Cynthia—no, not even for a moment!"
"As if he would!" Molly replied, feeling defensive. "You know he never would; and you shouldn’t think that of him, Cynthia—no, not even for a second!"
"I can't see the great harm of it all, for my part," said Mrs. Gibson, plaintively. "A young man strikes us all as looking very ill—and I'm sure I'm sorry for it; but illness very often leads to death. Surely you agree with me there, and what's the harm of saying so? Then Molly asks what will happen if he dies; and I try to answer her question. I don't like talking or thinking of death any more than any one else; but I should think myself wanting in strength of mind if I could not look forward to the consequences of death. I really think we're commanded to do so, somewhere in the Bible or the Prayer-book."
"I can't see what the big deal is," Mrs. Gibson said sadly. "A young man looks really unwell to us all—and of course, I feel bad about it; but being sick often leads to death. Surely you agree with me on that, so what's the harm in saying it? Then Molly asks what will happen if he dies, and I try to answer her. I don’t like talking or thinking about death any more than anyone else does; but I believe it shows weakness if I can’t consider the repercussions of death. I really think we’re told to do this somewhere in the Bible or the Prayer Book."
"Do you look forward to the consequences of my death, mamma?" asked Cynthia.
"Are you looking forward to what will happen after I die, mom?" asked Cynthia.
"You really are the most unfeeling girl I ever met with," said Mrs. Gibson, really hurt. "I wish I could give you a little of my own sensitiveness, for I have too much for my happiness. Don't let us speak of Osborne's looks again; ten to one it was only some temporary over-fatigue, or some anxiety about Roger, or perhaps a little fit of indigestion. I was very foolish to attribute it to anything more serious, and dear papa might be displeased if he knew I had done so. Medical men don't like other people to be making conjectures about health; they consider it as trenching on their own particular province, and very proper, I'm sure. Now let us consider about your dress, Cynthia; I could not understand how you had spent your money, and made so little show with it."
"You really are the most unfeeling girl I've ever met," Mrs. Gibson said, genuinely hurt. "I wish I could give you some of my sensitivity because I have too much for my own happiness. Let's not talk about Osborne's looks again; chances are it was just some temporary exhaustion, or maybe anxiety about Roger, or possibly a minor case of indigestion. I was really silly to think it was anything more serious, and dear dad might be upset if he knew I had. Doctors don't like others making guesses about health; they see it as stepping on their toes, and that's fair enough, I’m sure. Now, let's talk about your dress, Cynthia; I couldn’t understand how you spent your money and ended up with so little to show for it."
"Mamma! it may sound very cross, but I must tell Molly, and you, and everybody, once for all, that as I don't want and didn't ask for more than my allowance, I'm not going to answer any questions about what I do with it." She did not say this with any want of respect; but she said it with quiet determination, which subdued her mother for the time; though often afterwards, when Mrs. Gibson and Molly were alone, the former would start the wonder as to what Cynthia could possibly have done with her money, and hunt each poor conjecture through woods and valleys of doubt, till she was wearied out; and the exciting sport was given up for the day. At present, however, she confined herself to the practical matter in hand; and the genius for millinery and dress, inherent in both mother and daughter, soon settled a great many knotty points of contrivance and taste, and then they all three set to work to "gar auld claes look amaist as weel's the new."
"Mama! It might sound rude, but I have to tell Molly, you, and everyone else, once and for all, that since I don't want or need more than my allowance, I'm not going to answer any questions about what I do with it." She didn't say this disrespectfully; she said it with a quiet determination that made her mother quiet for the moment. However, often later, when Mrs. Gibson and Molly were alone, Mrs. Gibson would bring up her curiosity about what Cynthia could possibly be doing with her money and would chase each poor guess through a maze of doubt until she was completely exhausted, and then they'd give up for the day. For now, though, she focused on the practical matter at hand, and the talent for fashion and design, which both mother and daughter had, quickly resolved many tricky points of style and taste. Then the three of them got to work to "make old clothes look almost as good as new."
Cynthia's relations with the Squire had been very stationary ever since the visit she had paid to the Hall the previous autumn. He had received them all at that time with hospitable politeness, and he had been more charmed with Cynthia than he liked to acknowledge to himself when he thought the visit all over afterwards.
Cynthia's interactions with the Squire had remained quite limited ever since her visit to the Hall last autumn. He had welcomed everyone with warm politeness during that time, and he found himself more taken with Cynthia than he was willing to admit to himself after reflecting on the visit.
"She's a pretty lass, sure enough," thought he, "and has pretty ways about her too, and likes to learn from older people, which is a good sign; but somehow I don't like madam her mother; but still she is her mother, and the girl's her daughter; yet she spoke to her once or twice as I shouldn't ha' liked our little Fanny to have spoken, if it had pleased God for her to ha' lived. No, it's not the right way, and it may be a bit old-fashioned, but I like the right way. And then again she took possession o' me, as I may say, and little Molly had to run after us in the garden walks that are too narrow for three, just like a little four-legged doggie; and the other was so full of listening to me, she never turned round for to speak a word to Molly. I don't mean to say they're not fond of each other, and that's in Roger's sweetheart's favour; and it's very ungrateful in me to go and find fault with a lass who was so civil to me, and had such a pretty way with her of hanging on every word that fell from my lips. Well! a deal may come and go in two years! and the lad says nothing to me about it. I'll be as deep as him, and take no more notice of the affair till he comes home and tells me himself."
"She's a pretty girl, that's for sure," he thought, "and she has a charming way about her, plus she's eager to learn from older people, which is a good sign; but for some reason, I don't like her mother. Yet she is her mother, and the girl is her daughter; still, she spoke to her in a way I wouldn’t have wanted our little Fanny to speak, if God had allowed her to live. No, that's not how it should be, and it might seem a bit old-fashioned, but I prefer things to be done the right way. Plus, she kind of took over the conversation, and little Molly had to chase after us in the garden paths that are too narrow for three people, just like a little puppy; and the other girl was so focused on listening to me that she didn’t even bother to say a word to Molly. I don’t mean to say they aren't fond of each other, which is good for Roger’s girlfriend; and it’s really ungrateful of me to criticize a girl who was so polite to me and had such a sweet way of hanging on every word I said. Well! A lot can change in two years! And the boy hasn't said anything to me about it. I’ll keep my thoughts to myself and not pay any more attention to it until he comes home and tells me himself."
So although the Squire was always delighted to receive the little notes which Cynthia sent him every time she heard from Roger, and although this attention on her part was melting the heart he tried to harden, he controlled himself into writing her the briefest acknowledgments. His words were strong in meaning, but formal in expression; she herself did not think much about them, being satisfied to do the kind actions that called them forth. But her mother criticised them and pondered them. She thought she had hit on the truth when she decided in her own mind that it was a very old-fashioned style, and that he and his house and his furniture all wanted some of the brightening up and polishing which they were sure to receive, when—she never quite liked to finish the sentence definitely, although she kept repeating to herself that "there was no harm in it."
So even though the Squire was always happy to receive the little notes that Cynthia sent him every time she heard from Roger, and even though her thoughtfulness was warming the heart he tried to toughen up, he managed to write her the briefest acknowledgments. His words were meaningful but formal; she didn’t think much of them, being content to perform the kind actions that prompted his responses. But her mother criticized and pondered over them. She believed she had found the truth when she decided that it was a very old-fashioned style, and that he and his home and his furnishings all needed some of the brightening up and polishing they were sure to get when—she never quite felt comfortable finishing that sentence, although she kept telling herself that "there was no harm in it."
To return to the Squire. Occupied as he now was, he recovered his former health, and something of his former cheerfulness. If Osborne had met him half-way, it is probable that the old bond between father and son might have been renewed; but Osborne either was really an invalid, or had sunk into invalid habits, and made no effort to rally. If his father urged him to go out—nay, once or twice he gulped down his pride, and asked Osborne to accompany him—Osborne would go to the window and find out some flaw or speck in the wind or weather, and make that an excuse for stopping in-doors over his books. He would saunter out on the sunny side of the house in a manner that the Squire considered as both indolent and unmanly. Yet if there was a prospect of his leaving home, which he did pretty often about this time, he was seized with a hectic energy: the clouds in the sky, the easterly wind, the dampness of the air, were nothing to him then; and as the Squire did not know the real secret cause of this anxiety to be gone, he took it into his head that it arose from Osborne's dislike to Hamley and to the monotony of his father's society.
To get back to the Squire. Busy as he was now, he regained his previous health and a bit of his former cheerfulness. If Osborne had met him halfway, it’s likely that their father-son bond could have been rekindled; but Osborne was either genuinely unwell or had fallen into unhealthy habits and didn't make an effort to improve. When his father encouraged him to go outside—even once or twice swallowing his pride and asking Osborne to join him—Osborne would go to the window, find a flaw or some issue with the weather, and use that as an excuse to stay indoors with his books. He’d lounge around on the sunny side of the house in a way the Squire thought was both lazy and unmanly. However, if there was a chance he could leave home, which happened quite often around that time, he would suddenly show a burst of energy: the clouds in the sky, the east wind, and the damp air didn’t bother him at all then; and since the Squire didn’t know the real reason for Osborne's eagerness to leave, he assumed it was because Osborne disliked Hamley and found his father's company dull.
"It was a mistake," thought the Squire. "I see it now. I was never great at making friends myself: I always thought those Oxford and Cambridge men turned up their noses at me for a country booby, and I'd get the start and have none o' them. But when the boys went to Rugby and Cambridge, I should ha' let them have had their own friends about 'em, even though they might ha' looked down on me; it was the worst they could ha' done to me; and now what few friends I had have fallen off from me, by death or somehow, and it is but dreary work for a young man, I grant it. But he might try not to show it so plain to me as he does. I'm getting case-hardened, but it does cut me to the quick sometimes—it does. And he so fond of his dad as he was once! If I can but get the land drained I'll make him an allowance, and let him go to London, or where he likes. Maybe he'll do better this time, or maybe he'll go to the dogs altogether; but perhaps it will make him think a bit kindly of the old father at home—I should like him to do that, I should!"
"It was a mistake," thought the Squire. "I realize that now. I was never good at making friends myself: I always felt like those Oxford and Cambridge guys looked down on me as just a country bumpkin, and I would pull away and avoid them. But when the boys went to Rugby and Cambridge, I should have let them be with their own friends, even if they might have dismissed me; that’s the worst they could do to me. Now, what few friends I had have faded away, either through death or other reasons, and it’s pretty lonely work for a young man, I admit. But he could at least try not to show that he feels it so obviously to me. I'm getting tough-skinned, but it still hurts sometimes—it really does. And he used to be so fond of his dad! If I can just get the land drained, I'll give him some money and let him go to London, or wherever he wants. Maybe he'll do better this time, or maybe he'll fall off the deep end completely; but hopefully, it will make him think a little more kindly of his old dad at home—I would like that!"
It is possible that Osborne might have been induced to tell his father of his marriage during their long solitary intercourse, if the Squire, in an unlucky moment, had not given him his confidence about Roger's engagement with Cynthia. It was on one wet Sunday afternoon, when the father and son were sitting together in the large empty drawing-room. Osborne had not been to church in the morning; the Squire had, and he was now trying hard to read one of Blair's sermons. They had dined early; they always did on Sundays; and either that, or the sermon, or the hopeless wetness of the day, made the afternoon seem interminably long to the Squire. He had certain unwritten rules for the regulation of his conduct on Sundays. Cold meat, sermon-reading, no smoking till after evening prayers, as little thought as possible as to the state of the land and the condition of the crops, and as much respectable sitting in-doors in his best clothes as was consistent with going to church twice a day, and saying the responses louder than the clerk. To-day it had rained so unceasingly that he had remitted the afternoon church; but oh, even with the luxury of a nap, how long it seemed before he saw the Hall servants trudging homewards, along the field-path, a covey of umbrellas! He had been standing at the window for the last half-hour, his hands in his pockets, and his mouth often contracting itself into the traditional sin of a whistle, but as often checked into sudden gravity—ending, nine times out of ten, in a yawn. He looked askance at Osborne, who was sitting near the fire absorbed in a book. The poor Squire was something like the little boy in the child's story, who asks all sorts of birds and beasts to come and play with him; and, in every case, receives the sober answer, that they are too busy to have leisure for trivial amusements. The father wanted the son to put down his book, and talk to him: it was so wet, so dull, and a little conversation would so wile away the time! But Osborne, with his back to the window where his father was standing, saw nothing of all this, and went on reading. He had assented to his father's remark that it was a very wet afternoon, but had not carried on the subject into all the varieties of truisms of which it was susceptible. Something more rousing must be started, and this the Squire felt. The recollection of the affair between Roger and Cynthia came into his head, and, without giving it a moment's consideration, he began,—
It’s possible that Osborne might have been encouraged to tell his father about his marriage during their long, quiet time together, if the Squire hadn’t, in an unfortunate moment, opened up about Roger’s engagement to Cynthia. It was a rainy Sunday afternoon, and father and son were sitting together in the large empty drawing room. Osborne hadn’t gone to church in the morning; the Squire had, and he was now trying hard to read one of Blair’s sermons. They had eaten dinner early, as they always did on Sundays, and either that, or the sermon, or the dreary weather made the afternoon feel endlessly long to the Squire. He had certain unwritten rules for how he spent Sundays: cold meat, reading sermons, no smoking until after evening prayers, as little thinking as possible about the state of the land and the condition of the crops, and as much respectable sitting indoors in his best clothes as he could manage around going to church twice and saying the responses louder than the clerk. Today it had rained so constantly that he skipped the afternoon church; but even with the luxury of a nap, it felt incredibly long before he saw the Hall servants trudging home along the field-path, a bunch of umbrellas in tow! He had been standing at the window for the last half-hour, hands in his pockets, his mouth sometimes forming a traditional whistle but just as often being cut off by sudden seriousness—ending, nine times out of ten, in a yawn. He glanced at Osborne, who was sitting near the fire absorbed in a book. The poor Squire was a bit like the little boy in the children’s story who invites all sorts of birds and animals to play with him but always gets the sober reply that they’re too busy for such trivial fun. The father wanted the son to put down his book and chat with him: it was so wet, so dull, and a little conversation would pass the time! But Osborne, with his back to the window where his father stood, didn’t notice any of this and kept reading. He had agreed with his father that it was indeed a very wet afternoon but hadn’t continued the discussion into all the various clichés it could lead to. Something more engaging had to be brought up, and the Squire felt that. The thought of the situation with Roger and Cynthia popped into his mind, and without giving it a second thought, he began,—
"Osborne! Do you know anything about this—this attachment of Roger's?"
"Osborne! Do you know anything about this—this attachment of Roger's?"
Quite successful. Osborne laid down his book in a moment, and turned round to his father.
Quite successful. Osborne put down his book for a moment and turned to his father.
"Roger! an attachment! No! I never heard of it—I can hardly believe it—that is to say, I suppose it is to—"
"Roger! An attachment! No! I've never heard of that—I can barely believe it—that is to say, I guess it's to—"
And then he stopped; for he thought he had no right to betray his own conjecture that the object was Cynthia Kirkpatrick.
And then he stopped; he believed he had no right to reveal his own guess that the person was Cynthia Kirkpatrick.
"Yes. He is though. Can you guess who to? Nobody that I particularly like—not a connection to my mind—yet she's a very pretty girl; and I suppose I was to blame in the first instance."
"Yeah, he is. Can you guess who it is? Nobody I really like—doesn’t click with me—yet she's a really attractive girl; and I guess I was at fault in the first place."
"Is it—?"
"Is it—?"
"It's no use beating about the bush. I've gone so far, I may as well tell you all. It's Miss Kirkpatrick, Gibson's stepdaughter. But it's not an engagement, mind you—"
"It's pointless to avoid the topic. I've come this far, so I might as well tell you everything. It's Miss Kirkpatrick, Gibson's stepdaughter. But it's not an engagement, just so you know—"
"I'm very glad—I hope she likes Roger back again—"
"I'm really glad—I hope she likes Roger again—"
"Like—it's only too good a connection for her not to like it: if Roger is of the same mind when he comes home, I'll be bound she'll be only too happy!"
"Like—it's just too good of a connection for her not to like it: if Roger feels the same way when he gets home, I'm sure she'll be really happy!"
"I wonder Roger never told me," said Osborne, a little hurt, now he began to consider himself.
"I can’t believe Roger never told me," said Osborne, feeling a bit hurt now that he started to think about it.
"He never told me either," said the Squire. "It was Gibson, who came here, and made a clean breast of it, like a man of honour. I'd been saying to him, I couldn't have either of you two lads taking up with his lasses. I'll own it was you I was afraid of—it's bad enough with Roger, and maybe will come to nothing after all; but if it had been you, I'd ha' broken with Gibson and every mother's son of 'em, sooner than have let it go on; and so I told Gibson."
"He never told me either," said the Squire. "It was Gibson who came here and confessed everything like a true gentleman. I had been telling him that I couldn't have either of you two boys getting involved with his girls. I admit I was more worried about you—it's already tough enough with Roger, and it might end up being nothing; but if it had been you, I would have cut ties with Gibson and everyone else, rather than let it continue. That's what I told Gibson."
"I beg your pardon for interrupting you, but, once for all, I claim the right of choosing my wife for myself, subject to no man's interference," said Osborne, hotly.
"I’m sorry to interrupt, but I want to make it clear that I have the right to choose my own wife, without anybody else's interference," Osborne said passionately.
"Then you'll keep your wife with no man's interference, that's all; for ne'er a penny will you get from me, my lad, unless you marry to please me a little, as well as yourself a great deal. That's all I ask of you. I'm not particular as to beauty, or as to cleverness, and piano-playing, and that sort of thing; if Roger marries this girl, we shall have enough of that in the family. I shouldn't much mind her being a bit older than you, but she must be well-born, and the more money she brings the better for the old place."
"Then you'll keep your wife without any man's interference, that's it; because you won't get a dime from me, my boy, unless you marry someone to make me a little happy, as well as yourself a lot. That's all I'm asking. I’m not really concerned about looks or intelligence, or piano skills, or anything like that; if Roger marries this girl, we'll have plenty of that in the family. I wouldn't really mind her being a bit older than you, but she has to come from a good family, and the more money she brings, the better for the estate."
"I say again, father, I choose my wife for myself, and I don't admit any man's right of dictation."
"I say again, Dad, I’m choosing my wife for myself, and I won’t accept any man telling me what to do."
"Well, well!" said the Squire, getting a little angry in his turn. "If I'm not to be father in this matter, thou sha'n't be son. Go against me in what I've set my heart on, and you'll find there's the devil to pay, that's all. But don't let us get angry, it's Sunday afternoon for one thing, and it's a sin; and besides that, I've not finished my story."
"Well, well!" said the Squire, getting a bit angry himself. "If I can't be the father in this situation, then you won't be the son. Go against what I've set my heart on, and you'll see there's a big price to pay, that's all. But let's not get angry; it's Sunday afternoon, for one thing, and that's a sin; plus, I haven't finished my story."
For Osborne had taken up his book again, and under pretence of reading, was fuming to himself. He hardly put it away even at his father's request.
For Osborne had picked up his book again, and while pretending to read, was seething inside. He barely set it down even when his father asked him to.
"As I was saying, Gibson said, when first we spoke about it, that there was nothing on foot between any of you four, and that if there was, he would let me know; so by-and-by he comes and tells me of this."
"As I was saying, Gibson mentioned when we first talked about it that nothing was going on between any of you four, and that if there was, he would let me know; so eventually, he comes and tells me about this."
"Of what—I don't understand how far it has gone?"
"Of what—I don't get how far this has gone?"
There was a tone in Osborne's voice the Squire did not quite like; and he began answering rather angrily.
There was a tone in Osborne's voice that the Squire didn't quite like, and he started responding rather angrily.
"Of this, to be sure—of what I'm telling you—of Roger going and making love to this girl, that day he left, after he had gone away from here, and was waiting for the 'Umpire' in Hollingford. One would think you quite stupid at times, Osborne."
"About this, for sure—about what I'm telling you—about Roger hooking up with this girl that day he left, after he left here and was waiting for the 'Umpire' in Hollingford. Sometimes, you can seem pretty clueless, Osborne."
"I can only say that these details are quite new to me; you never mentioned them before, I assure you."
"I can only say that this information is really new to me; you never brought it up before, I promise you."
"Well; never mind whether I did or not. I'm sure I said Roger was attached to Miss Kirkpatrick, and be hanged to her; and you might have understood all the rest as a matter of course."
"Well, it doesn't matter if I did or not. I'm pretty sure I said Roger was into Miss Kirkpatrick, and forget about her; you could have taken the rest as a given."
"Possibly," said Osborne, politely. "May I ask if Miss Kirkpatrick, who appeared to me to be a very nice girl, responds to Roger's affection?"
"Maybe," said Osborne, politely. "Can I ask if Miss Kirkpatrick, who seemed like a really nice girl to me, returns Roger's feelings?"
"Fast enough, I'll be bound," said the Squire, sulkily. "A Hamley of Hamley isn't to be had every day. Now, I'll tell you what, Osborne, you're the only marriageable one left in the market, and I want to hoist the old family up again. Don't go against me in this; it really will break my heart if you do."
"You're right, I'm feeling pretty down about it," said the Squire grumpily. "You don't find a Hamley of Hamley just any day. Listen, Osborne, you're the only one left who can get married, and I want to lift our family's reputation again. Please don't oppose me on this; it would genuinely crush me if you did."
"Father, don't talk so," said Osborne. "I'll do anything I can to oblige you, except—"
"Dad, please don't speak that way," Osborne said. "I'll do whatever I can to help you, except—
"Except the only thing I've set my heart on your doing."
"Except for the one thing I've really hoped you'd do."
"Well, well, let it alone for the present. There's no question of my marrying just at this moment. I'm out of health, and I'm not up to going into society, and meeting young ladies and all that sort of thing, even if I had an opening into fitting society."
"Well, let’s just leave it for now. There’s no way I’m getting married at this moment. I’m not feeling well, and I’m not ready to socialize or meet young women and all that, even if I had a chance to fit in with the right crowd."
"You should have an opening fast enough. There'll be more money coming in, in a year or two, please God. And as for your health, why, what's to make you well, if you cower over the fire all day, and shudder away from a good honest tankard as if it were poison?"
"You need to get moving quickly. There will be more money coming in a year or two, hopefully. And about your health, what's going to make you better if you just sit by the fire all day and shy away from a good, honest drink like it's poison?"
"So it is to me," said Osborne, languidly, playing with his book as if he wanted to end the conversation and take it up again. The Squire saw the movements, and understood them.
"So it is for me," said Osborne, lazily, fiddling with his book as if he wanted to wrap up the conversation and pick it up later. The Squire noticed the gestures and got the message.
"Well," said he, "I'll go and have a talk with Will about poor old Black Bess. It's Sunday work enough, asking after a dumb animal's aches and pains."
"Well," he said, "I'll go talk to Will about poor old Black Bess. It's quite a task for a Sunday, checking in on a silent animal's aches and pains."
But after his father had left the room Osborne did not take up his book again. He laid it down on the table by him, leant back in his chair, and covered his eyes with his hand. He was in a state of health which made him despondent about many things, though, least of all, about what was most in danger. The long concealment of his marriage from his father made the disclosure of it far, far more difficult than it would have been at first. Unsupported by Roger, how could he explain it all to one so passionate as the Squire? how tell of the temptation, the stolen marriage, the consequent happiness, and alas! the consequent suffering?—for Osborne had suffered, and did suffer, greatly in the untoward circumstances in which he had placed himself. He saw no way out of it all, excepting by the one strong stroke of which he felt himself incapable. So with a heavy heart he addressed himself to his book again. Everything seemed to come in his way, and he was not strong enough in character to overcome obstacles. The only overt step he took in consequence of what he had heard from his father, was to ride over to Hollingford the first fine day after he had received the news, and go to see Cynthia and the Gibsons. He had not been there for a long time; bad weather and languor combined had prevented him. He found them full of preparations and discussions about Cynthia's visit to London; and she herself not at all in the sentimental mood proper to respond to his delicate intimations of how glad he was in his brother's joy. Indeed, it was so long after the time, that Cynthia scarcely perceived that to him the intelligence was recent, and that the first bloom of his emotions had not yet passed away. With her head a little on one side, she was contemplating the effect of a knot of ribbons, when he began, in a low whisper, and leaning forward towards her as he spoke,—"Cynthia—I may call you Cynthia now, mayn't I?—I'm so glad of this news; I've only just heard of it, but I'm so glad!"
But after his father left the room, Osborne didn’t pick up his book again. He set it down on the table beside him, leaned back in his chair, and covered his eyes with his hand. He was in a fragile state that made him feel down about many things, especially what was most at risk. The long secrecy around his marriage from his father made revealing it much more difficult than it would have been at first. Without Roger’s support, how could he explain everything to someone as passionate as the Squire? How could he talk about the temptation, the secret marriage, the resulting happiness, and sadly, the resulting suffering?—because Osborne had suffered and was still suffering greatly due to the unfortunate situation he had created for himself. He saw no way out except for one decisive action that he felt incapable of taking. With a heavy heart, he finally turned back to his book. Everything seemed to get in his way, and he wasn’t strong enough to overcome those obstacles. The only significant step he took after hearing from his father was to ride over to Hollingford on the first nice day after he got the news and visit Cynthia and the Gibsons. He hadn’t been there for a while; bad weather and sluggishness had held him back. When he arrived, they were all busy preparing and discussing Cynthia’s upcoming trip to London, and she wasn’t in the sentimental frame of mind to appreciate his subtle hints about how happy he was for his brother. In fact, it had been so long since the event that Cynthia barely realized that for him, the news was still fresh and that the excitement of his emotions hadn’t faded yet. With her head slightly tilted, she was examining the effect of a bunch of ribbons when he began, in a low whisper, leaning forward as he spoke, “Cynthia—I can call you Cynthia now, right?—I’m so glad to hear this news; I just found out about it, but I’m really happy!”
"What news do you mean?" She had her suspicions; but she was annoyed to think that from one person her secret was passing to another and another, till, in fact, it was becoming no secret at all. Still, Cynthia could always conceal her annoyance when she chose. "Why are you to begin calling me Cynthia now?" she went on, smiling. "The terrible word has slipped out from between your lips before, do you know?"
"What do you mean by news?" She had her suspicions, but it annoyed her to think that her secret was moving from one person to another until it was practically common knowledge. Still, Cynthia could always hide her annoyance when she wanted to. "Why are you starting to call me Cynthia now?" she continued with a smile. "That awful word has slipped out of your mouth before, you know?"
This light way of taking his tender congratulation did not quite please Osborne, who was in a sentimental mood, and for a minute or so he remained silent. Then, having finished making her bow of ribbon, she turned to him, and continued in a quick low voice, anxious to take advantage of a conversation between her mother and Molly,—
This casual way of accepting his heartfelt congratulations didn't sit well with Osborne, who was feeling sentimental, and for a minute or so he stayed quiet. Then, after finishing her ribbon bow, she turned to him and spoke quickly in a soft voice, eager to join the conversation between her mother and Molly,
"I think I can guess why you made that pretty little speech just now. But do you know you ought not to have been told? And, moreover, things are not quite arrived at the solemnity of—of—well—an engagement. He would not have it so. Now, I sha'n't say any more; and you must not. Pray remember you ought not to have known; it is my own secret, and I particularly wished it not to be spoken about; and I don't like its being so talked about. Oh, the leaking of water through one small hole!"
"I think I can guess why you just gave that nice little speech. But do you realize you shouldn't have been told? Besides, things haven’t really reached the seriousness of—well—a—uh—engagement. He wouldn’t have it that way. Now, I won’t say anything more, and you shouldn’t either. Please remember you weren’t supposed to know; this is my own secret, and I really wanted it to stay private; I don’t like it being discussed like this. Oh, the way water leaks through one tiny hole!"
And then she plunged into the talk of the other two, making the conversation general. Osborne was rather discomfited at the non-success of his congratulations; he had pictured to himself the unbosoming of a love-sick girl, full of rapture, and glad of a sympathizing confidant. He little knew Cynthia's nature. The more she suspected that she was called upon for a display of emotion, the less would she show; and her emotions were generally under the control of her will. He had made an effort to come and see her; and now he leant back in his chair, weary and a little dispirited.
And then she jumped into the conversation with the other two, making it more general. Osborne felt a bit awkward about how his congratulations didn’t land; he had imagined a love-struck girl, full of excitement, eager to share her feelings with a sympathetic listener. He didn’t understand Cynthia's personality at all. The more she sensed that she was expected to show her emotions, the less she would; her feelings were mostly under her control. He had tried to visit her, and now he leaned back in his chair, tired and somewhat discouraged.
"You poor dear young man," said Mrs. Gibson, coming up to him with her soft, soothing manner; "how tired you look! Do take some of that eau-de-Cologne and bathe your forehead. This spring weather overcomes me too. 'Primavera' I think the Italians call it. But it is very trying for delicate constitutions, as much from its associations as from its variableness of temperature. It makes me sigh perpetually; but then I am so sensitive. Dear Lady Cumnor always used to say I was like a thermometer. You've heard how ill she has been?"
"You poor dear young man," Mrs. Gibson said, approaching him with her gentle, comforting demeanor. "You look so tired! Please take some of that eau-de-Cologne and put it on your forehead. This spring weather gets to me too. I think the Italians call it 'Primavera.' But it's really hard on sensitive people, both because of its ups and downs in temperature and its associations. It makes me sigh all the time; I guess I'm just very sensitive. Dear Lady Cumnor always used to say I was like a thermometer. Have you heard how sick she’s been?"
"No," said Osborne, not very much caring either.
"No," said Osborne, not really caring either.
"Oh, yes, she is better now; but the anxiety about her has tried me so: detained here by what are, of course, my duties, but far away from all intelligence, and not knowing what the next post might bring."
"Oh, yes, she’s doing better now; but worrying about her has really worn me out: stuck here with my responsibilities, but completely cut off from any news, not knowing what the next letter might say."
"Where was she then?" asked Osborne, becoming a little more sympathetic.
"Where was she then?" Osborne asked, sounding a bit more sympathetic.
"At Spa. Such a distance off! Three days' post! Can't you conceive the trial? Living with her as I did for years; bound up in the family as I was."
"At Spa. Such a long way off! Three days for the mail to get here! Can’t you imagine how hard that is? I lived with her for years; I was so connected to the family."
"But Lady Harriet said, in her last letter, that they hoped she would be stronger than she had been for years," said Molly, innocently.
"But Lady Harriet mentioned in her last letter that they hoped she would be stronger than she had been in years," said Molly, innocently.
"Yes—Lady Harriet—of course—every one who knows Lady Harriet knows that she is of too sanguine a temperament for her statements to be perfectly relied on. Altogether—strangers are often deluded by Lady Harriet—she has an off-hand manner which takes them in; but she does not mean half she says."
"Yes—Lady Harriet—of course—everyone who knows Lady Harriet knows that she has too bright a personality for her statements to be completely trusted. Overall—strangers are often fooled by Lady Harriet—she has a casual way of speaking that misleads them; but she doesn't mean half of what she says."
"We will hope she does in this instance," said Cynthia, shortly. "They're in London now, and Lady Cumnor hasn't suffered from the journey."
"We'll hope she does in this case," said Cynthia, shortly. "They're in London now, and Lady Cumnor hasn't had any issues from the journey."
"They say so," said Mrs. Gibson, shaking her head, and laying an emphasis on the word "say." "I am perhaps over-anxious, but I wish—I wish I could see and judge for myself. It would be the only way of calming my anxiety. I almost think I shall go up with you, Cynthia, for a day or two, just to see her with my own eyes. I don't quite like your travelling alone either. We will think about it, and you shall write to Mr. Kirkpatrick, and propose it, if we determine upon it. You can tell him of my anxiety; and it will be only sharing your bed for a couple of nights."
“They say so,” Mrs. Gibson said, shaking her head and stressing the word “say.” “I might be a bit too anxious, but I wish—I wish I could see and judge for myself. That would be the only way to ease my worries. I’m really considering going with you, Cynthia, for a day or two, just to see her with my own eyes. I’m not entirely comfortable with you traveling alone either. Let’s think about it, and you can write to Mr. Kirkpatrick to suggest it if we decide to go ahead. You can mention my anxiety to him; it’ll just be sharing a bed for a couple of nights.”
CHAPTER XL.
MOLLY GIBSON BREATHES FREELY.
That was the way in which Mrs. Gibson first broached her intention of accompanying Cynthia up to London for a few days' visit. She had a trick of producing the first sketch of any new plan before an outsider to the family circle; so that the first emotions of others, if they disapproved of her projects, had to be repressed, until the idea had become familiar to them. To Molly it seemed too charming a proposal ever to come to pass. She had never allowed herself to recognize the restraint she was under in her stepmother's presence; but all at once she found it out when her heart danced at the idea of three whole days—for that it would be at the least—of perfect freedom of intercourse with her father; of old times come back again; of meals without perpetual fidgetiness after details of ceremony and correctness of attendance.
That’s how Mrs. Gibson first brought up her plan to take Cynthia to London for a few days. She had a habit of revealing the first draft of any new plan to someone outside the family, so that if anyone else disapproved of her ideas, they had to hold back their feelings until the concept felt familiar. To Molly, it seemed like such a delightful idea that it could never actually happen. She had never let herself admit how restricted she felt around her stepmother, but suddenly she realized it when the thought of three whole days—with at least that much time—of complete freedom to be with her dad made her heart leap; it was like old times again, with meals that didn’t require constant fussing over etiquette and correct behavior.
"We'll have bread-and-cheese for dinner, and eat it on our knees; we'll make up for having had to eat sloppy puddings with a fork instead of a spoon all this time, by putting our knives in our mouths till we cut ourselves. Papa shall pour his tea into his saucer if he's in a hurry; and if I'm thirsty, I'll take the slop-basin. And oh, if I could but get, buy, borrow, or steal any kind of an old horse; my grey skirt isn't new, but it will do;—that would be too delightful! After all, I think I can be happy again; for months and months it has seemed as if I had got too old ever to feel pleasure, much less happiness again."
"We're having bread and cheese for dinner, and we'll eat it on our knees; we’ll make up for all those times we had to eat soggy puddings with a fork instead of a spoon by shoving our knives in our mouths until we cut ourselves. Dad will pour his tea into his saucer if he's in a rush; and if I get thirsty, I'll just use the slop basin. And oh, if I could just get, buy, borrow, or steal any kind of old horse; my gray skirt isn’t new, but it’ll do; that would be amazing! After all, I think I can be happy again; for months and months, it felt like I had gotten too old to feel any pleasure, let alone happiness, again."
So thought Molly. Yet she blushed, as if with guilt, when Cynthia, reading her thoughts, said to her one day,—
So thought Molly. Yet she blushed, as if ashamed, when Cynthia, sensing her thoughts, said to her one day,—
"Molly, you're very glad to get rid of us, are not you?"
"Molly, you’re really glad to be rid of us, aren’t you?"
"Not of you, Cynthia; at least, I don't think I am. Only, if you but knew how I love papa, and how I used to see a great deal more of him than I ever do now—"
"Not you, Cynthia; at least, I don't think I am. It's just that if you only knew how much I love Dad and how I used to spend a lot more time with him than I do now—"
"Ah! I often think what interlopers we must seem, and are in fact—"
"Ah! I often think about what outsiders we must seem, and really are—"
"I don't feel you as such. You, at any rate, have been a new delight to me—a sister; and I never knew how charming such a relationship could be."
"I don't see you that way. You've definitely been a new joy to me—a sister; and I never realized how wonderful that kind of relationship could be."
"But mamma?" said Cynthia, half-suspiciously, half-sorrowfully.
"But Mom?" said Cynthia, half-suspicious, half-sad.
"She is papa's wife," said Molly, quietly. "I don't mean to say I'm not often very sorry to feel I'm no longer first with him; but it was"—the violent colour flushed into her face till even her eyes burnt, and she suddenly found herself on the point of crying; the weeping ash-tree, the misery, the slow dropping comfort, and the comforter came all so vividly before her—"it was Roger!"—she went on looking up at Cynthia, as she overcame her slight hesitation at mentioning his name—"Roger, who told me how I ought to take papa's marriage, when I was first startled and grieved at the news. Oh, Cynthia, what a great thing it is to be loved by him!"
"She’s dad's wife," Molly said quietly. "I don’t mean to say I'm not often really sorry that I’m no longer his number one; but it was"—a deep flush filled her face until even her eyes felt hot, and she suddenly realized she was on the verge of crying; the weeping ash tree, the sadness, the slow trickle of comfort, and the comforter all came back to her so vividly—"it was Roger!"—she continued, looking up at Cynthia, overcoming her brief hesitation at saying his name—"Roger, who told me how I should deal with dad’s marriage when I was first shocked and upset by the news. Oh, Cynthia, how amazing it is to be loved by him!"
Cynthia blushed, and looked fluttered and pleased.
Cynthia blushed and appeared flustered and happy.
"Yes, I suppose it is. At the same time, Molly, I'm afraid he'll expect me to be always as good as he fancies me now, and I shall have to walk on tiptoe all the rest of my life."
"Yeah, I guess so. But at the same time, Molly, I'm worried he'll expect me to always be as good as he thinks I am now, and I'll have to tiptoe around for the rest of my life."
"But you are good, Cynthia," put in Molly.
"But you're good, Cynthia," Molly chimed in.
"No, I'm not. You're just as much mistaken as he is; and some day I shall go down in your opinions with a run, just like the hall clock the other day when the spring broke."
"No, I'm not. You're just as wrong as he is; and one day I'll fall out of your favor quickly, just like the hall clock did the other day when the spring broke."
"I think he'll love you just as much," said Molly.
"I think he'll love you just as much," Molly said.
"Could you? Would you be my friend if—if it turned out ever that I had done very wrong things? Would you remember how very difficult it has sometimes been to me to act rightly?" (she took hold of Molly's hand as she spoke). "We won't speak of mamma, for your sake as much as mine or hers; but you must see she isn't one to help a girl with much good advice, or good— Oh, Molly, you don't know how I was neglected just at a time when I wanted friends most. Mamma does not know it; it is not in her to know what I might have been if I had only fallen into wise, good hands. But I know it; and what's more," continued she, suddenly ashamed of her unusual exhibition of feeling, "I try not to care, which I daresay is really the worst of all; but I could worry myself to death if I once took to serious thinking."
"Could you? Would you be my friend if—if it turned out that I had done really wrong things? Would you remember how hard it has sometimes been for me to do the right thing?" (she took hold of Molly's hand as she spoke). "We won't talk about mom, for your sake as much as mine or hers; but you must see she isn’t really the type to give a girl much good advice, or— Oh, Molly, you have no idea how neglected I was right when I needed friends the most. Mom doesn’t know it; it's just not in her to understand what I could have become if I’d only been in wise, caring hands. But I know it; and what's more," she continued, suddenly embarrassed by her unusual display of emotion, "I try not to care, which I suppose is truly the worst part of all; but I could drive myself crazy if I ever started to think seriously."
"I wish I could help you, or even understand you," said Molly, after a moment or two of sad perplexity.
"I wish I could help you, or even understand you," Molly said, after a moment or two of sad confusion.
"You can help me," said Cynthia, changing her manner abruptly. "I can trim bonnets, and make head-dresses; but somehow my hands can't fold up gowns and collars, like your deft little fingers. Please will you help me to pack? That's a real, tangible piece of kindness, and not sentimental consolation for sentimental distresses, which are, perhaps, imaginary after all."
"You can help me," Cynthia said, suddenly changing her tone. "I can trim bonnets and make headpieces, but for some reason, my hands can’t fold gowns and collars like your nimble fingers can. Will you please help me pack? That’s a genuine, practical kindness, not just empty sympathy for emotional troubles that might be all in my head anyway."
In general, it is the people that are left behind stationary, who give way to low spirits at any parting; the travellers, however bitterly they may feel the separation, find something in the change of scene to soften regret in the very first hour of separation. But as Molly walked home with her father from seeing Mrs. Gibson and Cynthia off to London by the "Umpire" coach, she almost danced along the street.
In general, it’s the people who stay behind that tend to feel down at any goodbye; the travelers, no matter how much they might hurt from the separation, usually find something in the new surroundings to ease their sadness right from the first hour apart. But as Molly walked home with her father after seeing Mrs. Gibson and Cynthia off to London on the "Umpire" coach, she practically danced down the street.
"Now, papa!" said she, "I'm going to have you all to myself for a whole week. You must be very obedient."
"Now, Dad!" she said, "I'm going to have you all to myself for an entire week. You have to be really obedient."
"Don't be tyrannical, then. You're walking me out of breath, and we're cutting Mrs. Goodenough, in our hurry."
"Don't be so bossy. You're making me out of breath, and we're leaving Mrs. Goodenough behind in our rush."
So they crossed over the street to speak to Mrs. Goodenough.
So they walked across the street to talk to Mrs. Goodenough.
"We've just been seeing my wife and her daughter off to London. Mrs. Gibson has gone up for a week!"
"We just saw my wife and her daughter off to London. Mrs. Gibson has gone up for a week!"
"Deary, deary, to London, and only for a week! Why, I can remember its being a three days' journey! It'll be very lonesome for you, Miss Molly, without your young companion!"
"Dear, dear, to London for just a week! I remember when it used to take three days to get there! It’s going to be quite lonely for you, Miss Molly, without your young friend!"
"Yes!" said Molly, suddenly feeling as if she ought to have taken this view of the case. "I shall miss Cynthia very much."
"Yes!" Molly said, suddenly feeling like she should have seen it this way. "I'm going to miss Cynthia a lot."
"And you, Mr. Gibson; why, it'll be like being a widower over again! You must come and drink tea with me some evening. We must try and cheer you up a bit amongst us. Shall it be Tuesday?"
"And you, Mr. Gibson; it will feel like being a widower all over again! You have to come and have tea with me one evening. We should try to lift your spirits a bit with us. How about Tuesday?"
In spite of the sharp pinch which Molly gave to his arm, Mr. Gibson accepted the invitation, much to the gratification of the old lady.
Despite the sharp pinch Molly gave his arm, Mr. Gibson accepted the invitation, much to the delight of the old lady.
"Papa, how could you go and waste one of our evenings! We have but six in all, and now but five; and I had so reckoned on our doing all sorts of things together."
"Papa, how could you go and waste one of our evenings! We have only six in total, and now just five left; and I was really looking forward to doing all sorts of things together."
"What sort of things?"
"What kind of things?"
"Oh, I don't know: everything that is unrefined and ungenteel," added she, slily looking up into her father's face.
"Oh, I don't know: everything that is rough and uncivilized," she added, glancing slyly up at her father's face.
His eyes twinkled, but the rest of his face was perfectly grave. "I'm not going to be corrupted. With toil and labour I've reached a very fair height of refinement. I won't be pulled down again."
His eyes sparkled, but the rest of his face was completely serious. "I'm not going to let myself be corrupted. Through hard work and effort, I've achieved a good level of refinement. I won’t let that be taken away from me again."
"Yes, you will, papa. We'll have bread-and-cheese for lunch this very day. And you shall wear your slippers in the drawing-room every evening you'll stay quietly at home; and oh, papa, don't you think I could ride Nora Creina? I've been looking out the old grey skirt, and I think I could make myself tidy."
"Yes, you will, Dad. We'll have bread and cheese for lunch today. And you'll wear your slippers in the living room every evening while you stay home quietly; and oh, Dad, don't you think I could ride Nora Creina? I've been looking for the old grey skirt, and I think I could make myself presentable."
"Where is the side-saddle to come from?"
"Where is the side-saddle supposed to come from?"
"To be sure, the old one won't fit that great Irish mare. But I'm not particular, papa. I think I could manage somehow."
"Sure, the old one won't fit that great Irish mare. But I'm not picky, Dad. I think I could make it work somehow."
"Thank you. But I'm not quite going to return into barbarism. It may be a depraved taste, but I should like to see my daughter properly mounted."
"Thank you. But I’m not really going to go back to being primitive. It might be a questionable preference, but I’d like to see my daughter well-equipped."
"Think of riding together down the lanes—why, the dog-roses must be all out in flower, and the honeysuckles, and the hay—how I should like to see Merriman's farm again! Papa, do let me have one ride with you! Please do. I'm sure we can manage it somehow."
"Imagine riding together down the paths—oh, the dog-roses must be in full bloom, along with the honeysuckles and the fresh hay—how I would love to see Merriman's farm again! Dad, please let me join you for just one ride! Please! I'm sure we can figure it out."
And "somehow" it was managed. "Somehow" all Molly's wishes came to pass; there was only one little drawback to this week of holiday and happy intercourse with her father. Everybody would ask them out to tea. They were quite like bride and bridegroom; for the fact was, that the late dinners which Mrs. Gibson had introduced into her own house, were a great inconvenience in the calculations of the small tea-drinkings at Hollingford. How ask people to tea at six, who dined at that hour? How, when they refused cake and sandwiches at half-past eight, how induce other people who were really hungry to commit a vulgarity before those calm and scornful eyes? So there had been a great lull of invitations for the Gibsons to Hollingford tea-parties. Mrs. Gibson, whose object was to squeeze herself into "county society," had taken this being left out of the smaller festivities with great equanimity; but Molly missed the kind homeliness of the parties to which she had gone from time to time as long as she could remember; and though, as each three-cornered note was brought in, she grumbled a little over the loss of another charming evening with her father, she really was glad to go again in the old way among old friends. Miss Browning and Miss Phœbe were especially compassionate towards her in her loneliness. If they had had their will she would have dined there every day; and she had to call upon them very frequently in order to prevent their being hurt at her declining the dinners. Mrs. Gibson wrote twice during her week's absence to her husband. That piece of news was quite satisfactory to the Miss Brownings, who had of late held themselves a great deal aloof from a house where they chose to suppose that their presence was not wanted. In their winter evenings they had often talked over Mr. Gibson's household, and having little besides conjecture to go upon, they found the subject interminable, as they could vary the possibilities every day. One of their wonders was how Mr. and Mrs. Gibson really got on together; another was whether Mrs. Gibson was extravagant or not. Now two letters during the week of her absence showed what was in those days considered a very proper amount of conjugal affection. Yet not too much—at elevenpence-halfpenny postage. A third letter would have been extravagant. Sister looked to sister with an approving nod as Molly named the second letter, which arrived in Hollingford the very day before Mrs. Gibson was to return. They had settled between themselves that two letters would show the right amount of good feeling and proper understanding in the Gibson family: more would have been extravagant; only one would have been a mere matter of duty. There had been rather a question between Miss Browning and Miss Phœbe as to which person the second letter (supposing it came) was to be addressed to. It would be very conjugal to write twice to Mr. Gibson; and yet it would be very pretty if Molly came in for her share.
And "somehow" it all worked out. "Somehow" all of Molly's wishes came true; there was just one small downside to this week of holiday and joyful time with her father. Everyone kept inviting them over for tea. They looked just like a newlywed couple; the truth was that the late dinners Mrs. Gibson had started at her house made it tricky for the small tea gatherings in Hollingford. How could they invite people for tea at six when they ate dinner at that time? And how could they get others, who were actually hungry, to enjoy cake and sandwiches at half-past eight without feeling rude in front of those calm and judgmental eyes? Because of this, there had been a noticeable drop in invitations for the Gibsons to join Hollingford tea parties. Mrs. Gibson, who aimed to insert herself into "county society," accepted being left out of the smaller gatherings with great composure; however, Molly missed the warm familiarity of the parties she had attended for as long as she could remember. Although she grumbled a bit with each triangle-shaped invitation that came in, mourning another lovely evening with her father gone, she was genuinely happy to reconnect in the old ways among familiar friends. Miss Browning and Miss Phœbe were especially sympathetic to her loneliness. If they had their way, she would have dined with them every day; she had to visit them often to avoid hurting their feelings when she turned down their dinner invites. Mrs. Gibson wrote to her husband twice during her week away. This bit of news was quite pleasing to the Miss Brownings, who had recently distanced themselves from a household where they believed they weren't wanted. In their winter evenings, they often discussed Mr. Gibson's family, and since they had little to go on besides guesswork, they found the topic endless, changing the possibilities daily. One of their curiosities was how Mr. and Mrs. Gibson actually got along; another was whether Mrs. Gibson was wasteful or not. Now, receiving two letters during her absence demonstrated what was then seen as a suitable level of marital affection. But not too much—just eleven and a half pence for postage. A third letter would have seemed excessive. The sisters exchanged approving nods as Molly mentioned the second letter, which arrived in Hollingford the very day before Mrs. Gibson was supposed to return. They had agreed that two letters would indicate the right amount of goodwill and understanding in the Gibson family: more would have been excessive; just one would have felt like a mere obligation. There was some debate between Miss Browning and Miss Phœbe about who the second letter (assuming it came) should be addressed to. It would seem very marital to write twice to Mr. Gibson; yet it would be quite lovely for Molly to receive her share too.
"You've had another letter, you say, my dear?" asked Miss Browning. "I daresay Mrs. Gibson has written to you this time?"
"You’ve received another letter, you say, my dear?" asked Miss Browning. "I assume Mrs. Gibson has written to you this time?"
"It is a large sheet, and Cynthia has written on one half to me, and all the rest is to papa."
"It’s a big sheet, and Cynthia has written to me on one half, and the rest is for dad."
"A very nice arrangement, I'm sure. And what does Cynthia say? Is she enjoying herself?"
"A really nice setup, I'm sure. And what does Cynthia think? Is she having a good time?"
"Oh, yes, I think so. They've had a dinner-party; and one night, when mamma was at Lady Cumnor's, Cynthia went to the play with her cousins."
"Oh, yes, I think so. They've had a dinner party; and one night, when Mom was at Lady Cumnor's, Cynthia went to the theater with her cousins."
"Upon my word! and all in one week? I do call that dissipation. Why, Thursday would be taken up with the journey, and Friday with resting, and Sunday is Sunday all the world over; and they must have written on Tuesday. Well! I hope Cynthia won't find Hollingford dull, that's all, when she comes back."
"Wow! All of that in just one week? I really think that's excessive. Well, Thursday would be spent traveling, Friday resting, and Sunday is just Sunday everywhere; so they must have written on Tuesday. I just hope Cynthia doesn’t find Hollingford boring when she returns."
"I don't think it's likely," said Miss Phœbe, with a little simper and a knowing look, which sate oddly on her kindly innocent face. "You see a great deal of Mr. Preston, don't you, Molly?"
"I don't think it's very likely," said Miss Phœbe, with a slight smile and an understanding look that seemed strange on her otherwise sweet and innocent face. "You see quite a bit of Mr. Preston, don't you, Molly?"
"Mr. Preston!" said Molly, flushing up with surprise. "No! not much. He's been at Ashcombe all winter, you know! He has but just come back to settle here. What should make you think so?"
"Mr. Preston!" Molly said, her face flushing with surprise. "No! Not really. He's been at Ashcombe all winter, you know! He just came back to settle here. What made you think that?"
"Oh! a little bird told us," said Miss Browning. Molly knew that little bird from her childhood, and had always hated it, and longed to wring its neck. Why could not people speak out and say that they did not mean to give up the name of their informant? But it was a very favourite form of fiction with the Miss Brownings, and to Miss Phœbe it was the very acme of wit.
"Oh! a little bird told us," said Miss Browning. Molly recognized that little bird from her childhood and had always loathed it, wishing she could wring its neck. Why couldn’t people just be honest and admit they didn’t want to reveal the name of their source? But this was a well-loved style of storytelling for the Miss Brownings, and to Miss Phœbe, it was the height of cleverness.
"The little bird was flying about one day in Heath Lane, and it saw Mr. Preston and a young lady—we won't say who—walking together in a very friendly manner, that is to say, he was on horseback; but the path is raised above the road, just where there is the little wooden bridge over the brook—"
"The little bird was flying around one day on Heath Lane, and it saw Mr. Preston and a young lady—we won’t say who—walking together in a very friendly way; he was on horseback, but the path is elevated above the road, right where there's a small wooden bridge over the stream"
"Perhaps Molly is in the secret, and we ought not to ask her about it," said Miss Phœbe, seeing Molly's extreme discomfiture and annoyance.
"Maybe Molly knows the secret, and we shouldn't ask her about it," said Miss Phoebe, noticing Molly's obvious discomfort and irritation.
"It can be no great secret," said Miss Browning, dropping the little-bird formula, and assuming an air of dignified reproval at Miss Phœbe's interruption, "for Miss Hornblower says Mr. Preston owns to being engaged—"
"It can't be much of a secret," said Miss Browning, abandoning the little-bird expression and adopting a tone of serious disapproval at Miss Phœbe's interruption, "because Miss Hornblower says Mr. Preston admits to being engaged—"
"At any rate it isn't to Cynthia, that I know positively," said Molly with some vehemence. "And pray put a stop to any such reports; you don't know what mischief they may do. I do so hate that kind of chatter!" It was not very respectful of Molly to speak in this way to be sure, but she thought only of Roger; and the distress any such reports might cause, should he ever hear of them (in the centre of Africa!) made her colour up scarlet with vexation.
"Anyway, it's definitely not Cynthia, I can say that for sure," Molly said passionately. "And please stop any rumors about it; you have no idea what trouble they could cause. I really hate that kind of gossip!" It wasn't very respectful for Molly to speak like that, but she was only thinking about Roger; the thought of how upset any such rumors might make him if he ever heard about them (in the middle of Africa!) made her blush red with frustration.
"Heighty-teighty! Miss Molly! don't you remember that I am old enough to be your mother, and that it is not pretty behaviour to speak so to us—to me! 'Chatter' to be sure. Really, Molly—"
"Wow! Miss Molly! Don't you remember that I'm old enough to be your mother, and it's not nice to talk to us this way—especially to me! 'Chatter' for sure. Seriously, Molly—
"I beg your pardon," said Molly, only half-penitent.
"I’m sorry," said Molly, only half-apologetic.
"I daresay you did not mean to speak so to sister," said Miss Phœbe, trying to make peace.
"I bet you didn't really mean to speak to my sister like that," said Miss Phœbe, trying to smooth things over.
Molly did not answer all at once. She wanted to explain how much mischief might be done by such reports.
Molly didn’t respond right away. She wanted to explain how much trouble could come from those kinds of reports.
"But don't you see," she went on, still flushed by vexation, "how bad it is to talk of such things in such a way? Supposing one of them cared for some one else, and that might happen, you know; Mr. Preston, for instance, may be engaged to some one else?"
"But don't you see," she continued, still flushed with annoyance, "how wrong it is to discuss things like this? What if one of them had feelings for someone else, which could happen, you know? For example, Mr. Preston might be involved with someone else?"
"Molly! I pity the woman! Indeed I do. I have a very poor opinion of Mr. Preston," said Miss Browning, in a warning tone of voice; for a new idea had come into her head.
"Molly! I feel sorry for the woman! I really do. I think very little of Mr. Preston," said Miss Browning, in a cautionary tone; for a new thought had popped into her mind.
"Well, but the woman, or young lady, would not like to hear such reports about Mr. Preston."
"Well, the woman, or young lady, wouldn't want to hear such rumors about Mr. Preston."
"Perhaps not. But for all that, take my word for it, he's a great flirt, and young ladies had better not have much to do with him."
"Maybe not. But still, believe me, he's a big flirt, and young women should steer clear of him."
"I daresay it was all accident their meeting in Heath Lane," said Miss Phœbe.
"I would say it was completely by chance that they met on Heath Lane," said Miss Phœbe.
"I know nothing about it," said Molly, "and I daresay I have been impertinent, only please don't talk about it any more. I have my reasons for asking you." She got up, for by the striking of the church clock she had just found out that it was later than she had thought, and she knew that her father would be at home by this time. She bent down and kissed Miss Browning's grave and passive face.
"I don’t know anything about it," said Molly, "and I guess I’ve been rude, but please don’t talk about it anymore. I have my reasons for asking you." She stood up, as she realized from the church clock that it was later than she had thought, and she knew her dad would be home by now. She leaned down and kissed Miss Browning's grave and expressionless face.
"How you are growing, Molly!" said Miss Phœbe, anxious to cover over her sister's displeasure. "'As tall and as straight as a poplar-tree!' as the old song says."
"Look how much you've grown, Molly!" said Miss Phœbe, eager to smooth over her sister's irritation. "'As tall and as straight as a poplar tree!' just like the old song goes."
"Grow in grace, Molly, as well as in good looks!" said Miss Browning, watching her out of the room. As soon as she was fairly gone, Miss Browning got up and shut the door quite securely, and then sitting down near her sister, she said, in a low voice, "Phœbe, it was Molly herself that was with Mr. Preston in Heath Lane that day when Mrs. Goodenough saw them together!"
"Grow in grace, Molly, as well as in good looks!" Miss Browning said, watching her leave the room. Once she was gone, Miss Browning got up and securely shut the door, then sat down next to her sister and said quietly, "Phœbe, it was Molly herself who was with Mr. Preston in Heath Lane that day when Mrs. Goodenough saw them together!"
"Gracious goodness me!" exclaimed Miss Phœbe, receiving it at once as gospel. "How do you know?"
"Goodness gracious!" exclaimed Miss Phœbe, taking it as truth immediately. "How do you know?"
"By putting two and two together. Didn't you notice how red Molly went, and then pale, and how she said she knew for a fact that Mr. Preston and Cynthia Kirkpatrick were not engaged?"
"By putting two and two together. Didn't you see how red Molly got, then pale, and how she insisted she knew for sure that Mr. Preston and Cynthia Kirkpatrick weren't engaged?"
"Perhaps not engaged; but Mrs. Goodenough saw them loitering together, all by their own two selves—"
"Maybe not officially together, but Mrs. Goodenough saw them hanging out together, just the two of them—"
"Mrs. Goodenough only crossed Heath Lane at the Shire Oak, as she was riding in her phaeton," said Miss Browning sententiously. "We all know what a coward she is in a carriage, so that most likely she had only half her wits about her, and her eyes are none of the best when she is standing steady on the ground. Molly and Cynthia have got their new plaid shawls just alike, and they trim their bonnets alike, and Molly is grown as tall as Cynthia since Christmas. I was always afraid she'd be short and stumpy, but she's now as tall and slender as anyone need be. I'll answer for it, Mrs. Goodenough saw Molly, and took her for Cynthia."
"Mrs. Goodenough only crossed Heath Lane at the Shire Oak while she was riding in her carriage," Miss Browning said seriously. "We all know she gets scared in a carriage, so she probably wasn't thinking straight, and her eyesight isn't great even when she's standing still. Molly and Cynthia both have the same new plaid shawls, and they decorate their hats the same way, and Molly has gotten as tall as Cynthia since Christmas. I was always worried she’d be short and stocky, but now she’s as tall and slender as anyone could be. I bet Mrs. Goodenough saw Molly and mistook her for Cynthia."
When Miss Browning "answered for it" Miss Phœbe gave up doubting. She sate some time in silence revolving her thoughts. Then she said:
When Miss Browning "took responsibility for it," Miss Phoebe stopped doubting. She sat in silence for a while, thinking through her thoughts. Then she said:
"It wouldn't be such a very bad match after all, sister." She spoke very meekly, awaiting her sister's sanction to her opinion.
"It wouldn't be such a terrible match after all, sister." She spoke very quietly, waiting for her sister's approval of her opinion.
"Phœbe, it would be a bad match for Mary Pearson's daughter. If I had known what I know now we'd never have had him to tea last September."
"Phoebe, it would be a bad match for Mary Pearson's daughter. If I had known what I know now, we would have never invited him to tea last September."
"Why, what do you know?" asked Miss Phœbe.
"Why, what do you know?" asked Miss Phoebe.
"Miss Hornblower told me many things; some that I don't think you ought to hear, Phœbe. He was engaged to a very pretty Miss Gregson, at Henwick, where he comes from; and her father made inquiries, and heard so much that was bad about him that he made his daughter break off the match, and she's dead since!"
"Miss Hornblower shared a lot with me; some things I don’t think you should know, Phœbe. He was engaged to a very attractive Miss Gregson from Henwick, where he’s from; her father looked into him and found out so much negative stuff that he made her end the engagement, and she’s passed away since!"
"How shocking!" said Miss Phœbe, duly impressed.
"How shocking!" said Miss Phoebe, thoroughly impressed.
"Besides, he plays at billiards, and he bets at races, and some people do say he keeps race-horses."
"Besides, he plays billiards, bets on races, and some people say he even owns racehorses."
"But isn't it strange that the earl keeps him on as his agent?"
"But isn't it weird that the earl has him working as his agent?"
"No! perhaps not. He's very clever about land, and very sharp in all law affairs; and my lord isn't bound to take notice—if indeed he knows—of the manner in which Mr. Preston talks when he has taken too much wine."
"No! maybe not. He's really smart about land and very savvy with legal matters; and my lord isn’t obligated to pay attention—if he even knows—how Mr. Preston talks when he’s had too much to drink."
"Taken too much wine! Oh, sister, is he a drunkard? and we have had him to tea!"
"Has he had too much wine? Oh, sister, is he an alcoholic? And we had him over for tea!"
"I didn't say he was a drunkard, Phœbe," said Miss Browning, pettishly. "A man may take too much wine occasionally, without being a drunkard. Don't let me hear you using such coarse words, Phœbe!"
"I didn't say he was a drunk," Miss Browning said irritably. "A man can have too much wine sometimes without being a drunk. Don't let me catch you using such harsh language, Phœbe!"
Miss Phœbe was silent for a time after this rebuke.
Miss Phoebe was quiet for a while after this reprimand.
Presently she said, "I do hope it wasn't Molly Gibson."
Presently she said, "I really hope it wasn't Molly Gibson."
"You may hope as much as you like, but I'm pretty sure it was. However, we'd better say nothing about it to Mrs. Goodenough; she has got Cynthia into her head, and there let her rest. Time enough to set reports afloat about Molly when we know there's some truth in them. Mr. Preston might do for Cynthia, who's been brought up in France, though she has such pretty manners; but it may have made her not particular. He must not, and he shall not, have Molly, if I go into church and forbid the banns myself; but I'm afraid—I'm afraid there's something between her and him. We must keep on the look-out, Phœbe. I'll be her guardian angel, in spite of herself."
"You can hope as much as you want, but I'm pretty sure it was. However, we should probably not mention it to Mrs. Goodenough; she's got Cynthia on her mind, and we should leave it at that. There's plenty of time to spread rumors about Molly when we know there's some truth to them. Mr. Preston might be suitable for Cynthia, who was raised in France and has such lovely manners, but it might have made her less selective. He must not, and he will not, have Molly, even if I have to go into church and stop the wedding myself; but I'm worried—I'm worried there might be something going on between her and him. We need to keep an eye out, Phœbe. I'll be her guardian angel, whether she likes it or not."
CHAPTER XLI.
GATHERING CLOUDS.
rs. Gibson came back full
of rose-coloured accounts of London. Lady
Cumnor had been gracious and affectionate, "so touched by my going up
to see her so soon after her return to England," Lady Harriet
charming and devoted to her old governess, Lord Cumnor "just like his
dear usual hearty self;" and as for the Kirkpatricks, no Lord
Chancellor's house was ever grander than theirs, and the silk gown of
the Q.C. had floated over housemaids and footmen. Cynthia, too, was
so much admired; and as for her dress, Mrs. Kirkpatrick had showered
down ball-dresses and wreaths, and pretty bonnets and mantles, like a
fairy godmother. Mr. Gibson's poor present of ten pounds shrank into
very small dimensions compared with all this munificence.
Mrs. Gibson returned filled with rosy stories about London. Lady Cumnor had been warm and affectionate, "so moved by my visit to see her so soon after her return to England," Lady Harriet was charming and devoted to her former governess, Lord Cumnor "was just like his usual hearty self;" and as for the Kirkpatricks, no Lord Chancellor's house had ever been more impressive than theirs, and the silk gown of the Q.C. had glided past housemaids and footmen. Cynthia, too, was admired so much; and regarding her dress, Mrs. Kirkpatrick had lavishly provided ball gowns and wreaths, along with beautiful bonnets and capes, like a fairy godmother. Mr. Gibson's modest gift of ten pounds felt insignificant compared to all this generosity.
"And they're so fond of her, I don't know when we shall have her back," was Mrs. Gibson's winding-up sentence. "And now, Molly, what have you and papa been doing? Very gay, you sounded in your letter. I had not time to read it in London; so I put it in my pocket, and read it in the coach coming home. But, my dear child, you do look so old-fashioned with your gown made all tight, and your hair all tumbling about in curls. Curls are quite gone out. We must do your hair differently," she continued, trying to smooth Molly's black waves into straightness.
"And they really like her a lot; I have no idea when we’ll get her back," was Mrs. Gibson's final remark. "So, Molly, what have you and Dad been up to? You sounded very cheerful in your letter. I didn't have time to read it in London, so I stuffed it in my pocket and read it on the coach ride home. But, my dear, you look so old-fashioned with your fitted dress and your hair all messy with curls. Curls are totally out of style. We need to do your hair differently," she added, attempting to smooth Molly's black waves into straight strands.
"I sent Cynthia an African letter," said Molly, timidly. "Did you hear anything of what was in it?"
"I sent Cynthia a letter from Africa," Molly said nervously. "Did you hear anything about what it said?"
"Oh, yes, poor child! It made her very uneasy, I think; she said she did not feel inclined to go to Mr. Rawson's ball, which was on that night, and for which Mrs. Kirkpatrick had given her the ball-dress. But there was really nothing for her to fidget herself about. Roger only said he had had another touch of fever, but was better when he wrote. He says every European has to be acclimatized by fever in that part of Abyssinia where he is."
"Oh, yes, poor thing! I think it made her really anxious; she said she didn't feel like going to Mr. Rawson's ball that night, for which Mrs. Kirkpatrick had given her the ball dress. But there was really no reason for her to worry. Roger just mentioned that he had another bout of fever but was doing better when he wrote. He says every European has to get used to the fever in that part of Abyssinia where he is."
"And did she go?" asked Molly.
"And did she leave?" asked Molly.
"Yes, to be sure. It is not an engagement; and if it were, it is not acknowledged. Fancy her going and saying, 'A young man that I know has been ill for a few days in Africa, two months ago, therefore I don't want to go to the ball to-night.' It would have seemed like affectation of sentiment; and if there's one thing I hate it is that."
"Yes, definitely. It’s not an engagement, and even if it were, it’s not recognized. Can you imagine her going and saying, ‘A guy I know was sick for a few days in Africa two months ago, so I don’t want to go to the ball tonight’? It would have seemed like putting on a show for sympathy, and if there’s one thing I can't stand, it’s that."
"She would hardly enjoy herself," said Molly.
"She probably won't have a good time," said Molly.
"Oh, yes, but she did. Her dress was white gauze, trimmed with lilacs, and she really did look—a mother may be allowed a little natural partiality—most lovely. And she danced every dance, although she was quite a stranger. I am sure she enjoyed herself, from her manner of talking about it next morning."
"Oh, yes, she really did. Her dress was white gauze, accented with lilacs, and she truly looked—let's be honest, a mother can have a bit of bias—absolutely stunning. And she danced every dance, even though she was a complete stranger. I’m sure she had a great time, from how she talked about it the next morning."
"I wonder if the Squire knows."
"I wonder if the Squire is aware."
"Knows what? Oh, yes, to be sure—you mean about Roger. I daresay he doesn't, and there's no need to tell him, for I've no doubt it is all right now." And she went out of the room to finish her unpacking.
"Knows what? Oh, right—you mean about Roger. I doubt he does, and there's no need to tell him, because I'm sure everything's fine now." And she left the room to finish unpacking.
Molly let her work fall, and sighed. "It will be a year the day after to-morrow since he came here to propose our going to Hurst Wood, and mamma was so vexed at his calling before lunch. I wonder if Cynthia remembers it as well as I do. And now, perhaps— Oh! Roger, Roger! I wish—I pray that you were safe home again! How could we all bear it, if—"
Molly dropped her work and sighed. "It’ll be a year the day after tomorrow since he came here to suggest going to Hurst Wood, and mom was really annoyed that he visited before lunch. I wonder if Cynthia remembers it as clearly as I do. And now, perhaps— Oh! Roger, Roger! I wish—I hope that you were safely home again! How could we all handle it, if—
She covered her face with her hands, and tried to stop thinking. Suddenly she got up, as if stung by a venomous fancy.
She covered her face with her hands and tried to stop thinking. Suddenly, she got up, as if stung by a poisonous thought.
"I don't believe she loves him as she ought, or she could not—could not have gone and danced. What shall I do if she does not? What shall I do? I can bear anything but that."
"I don't think she loves him like she should, or else she wouldn't—couldn't have gone and danced. What am I supposed to do if she doesn’t? What will I do? I can handle anything but that."
But she found the long suspense as to his health hard enough to endure. They were not likely to hear from him for a month at least, and before that time had elapsed Cynthia would be at home again. Molly learnt to long for her return before a fortnight of her absence was over. She had had no idea that perpetual tête-à-têtes with Mrs. Gibson could, by any possibility, be so tiresome as she found them. Perhaps Molly's state of delicate health, consequent upon her rapid growth during the last few months, made her irritable; but really often she had to get up and leave the room to calm herself down after listening to a long series of words, more frequently plaintive or discontented in tone than cheerful, and which at the end conveyed no distinct impression of either the speaker's thought or feeling. Whenever anything had gone wrong, whenever Mr. Gibson had coolly persevered in anything to which she had objected; whenever the cook had made a mistake about the dinner, or the housemaid broken any little frangible article; whenever Molly's hair was not done to her liking, or her dress did not become her, or the smell of dinner pervaded the house, or the wrong callers came, or the right callers did not come—in fact, whenever anything went wrong, poor Mr. Kirkpatrick was regretted and mourned over, nay, almost blamed, as if, had he only given himself the trouble of living, he could have helped it.
But she found the long wait about his health really hard to handle. They probably wouldn’t hear from him for at least a month, and by that time, Cynthia would be back home again. Molly started to miss her return even before two weeks of her absence had passed. She had no idea that constant one-on-ones with Mrs. Gibson could be so incredibly exhausting. Maybe Molly’s delicate health, a result of her rapid growth in the past few months, made her irritable; but honestly, she often had to get up and leave the room to calm down after listening to a long string of words that were more often sad or discontented than cheerful, which at the end didn’t convey a clear idea of either the speaker's thoughts or feelings. Whenever something went wrong—whenever Mr. Gibson stubbornly continued with something she had objected to; whenever the cook messed up dinner, or the housemaid broke some little fragile item; whenever Molly's hair wasn't styled the way she liked, or her dress didn’t fit her right, or the smell of dinner filled the house, or the wrong guests arrived, or the right guests didn’t show up—in fact, whenever anything went wrong, poor Mr. Kirkpatrick was missed and mourned over, almost blamed, as if, had he cared enough to stick around, he could have fixed it.
"When I look back to those happy days, it seems to me as if I had never valued them as I ought. To be sure—youth, love,—what did we care for poverty! I remember dear Mr. Kirkpatrick walking five miles into Stratford to buy me a muffin because I had such a fancy for one after Cynthia was born. I don't mean to complain of dear papa—but I don't think—but, perhaps I ought not to say it to you. If Mr. Kirkpatrick had but taken care of that cough of his; but he was so obstinate! Men always are, I think. And it really was selfish of him. Only I daresay he did not consider the forlorn state in which I should be left. It came harder upon me than upon most people, because I always was of such an affectionate sensitive nature. I remember a little poem of Mr. Kirkpatrick's, in which he compared my heart to a harpstring, vibrating to the slightest breeze."
"When I look back at those happy days, it feels like I never appreciated them as I should have. For sure—youth, love—what did we care about being poor? I remember dear Mr. Kirkpatrick walking five miles into Stratford to buy me a muffin because I was craving one after Cynthia was born. I don’t mean to complain about dear dad—but I just don’t think—but maybe I shouldn't say this to you. If Mr. Kirkpatrick had only taken care of that cough of his; but he was so stubborn! Men always are, I think. And it really was selfish of him. But I guess he didn’t think about how alone I would be. It hit me harder than it did most people, because I've always had such a sensitive, affectionate nature. I remember a little poem from Mr. Kirkpatrick, in which he compared my heart to a harp string, vibrating with the slightest breeze."
"I thought harpstrings required a pretty strong finger to make them sound," said Molly.
"I thought you needed pretty strong fingers to make harp strings sound," said Molly.
"My dear child, you've no more poetry in you than your father. And as for your hair! it's worse than ever. Can't you drench it in water to take those untidy twists and twirls out of it?"
"My dear child, you have no more poetry in you than your father. And as for your hair! It's worse than ever. Can't you just wet it to get rid of those messy twists and curls?"
"It only makes it curl more and more when it gets dry," said Molly, sudden tears coming into her eyes as a recollection came before her like a picture seen long ago and forgotten for years—a young mother washing and dressing her little girl; placing the half-naked darling on her knee, and twining the wet rings of dark hair fondly round her fingers, and then, in an ecstasy of fondness, kissing the little curly head.
"It just makes it curl tighter when it gets dry," said Molly, sudden tears welling up in her eyes as a memory flashed before her like an old photograph she hadn't thought about in years—a young mother washing and dressing her little girl; placing the half-dressed darling on her lap, and lovingly wrapping the wet curls of dark hair around her fingers, and then, in a burst of affection, kissing the little curly head.
The receipt of Cynthia's letters made very agreeable events. She did not write often, but her letters were tolerably long when they did come, and very sprightly in tone. There was constant mention made of many new names, which conveyed no idea to Molly, though Mrs. Gibson would try and enlighten her by running commentaries like the following:—
The arrival of Cynthia's letters brought a lot of joy. She didn't write frequently, but when she did, her letters were quite lengthy and had a lively tone. There were always references to many new names that meant nothing to Molly, although Mrs. Gibson would try to help her understand by giving running commentaries like the following:—
"Mrs. Green! ah, that's Mr. Jones's pretty cousin, who lives in Russell Square with the fat husband. They keep their carriage; but I'm not sure if it is not Mr. Green who is Mrs. Jones's cousin. We can ask Cynthia when she comes home. Mr. Henderson! to be sure—a young man with black whiskers, a pupil of Mr. Kirkpatrick's formerly,—or was he a pupil of Mr. Murray's? I know they said he had read law with somebody. Ah, yes! they are the people who called the day after Mr. Rawson's ball, and who admired Cynthia so much, without knowing I was her mother. She was very handsomely dressed indeed, in black satin; and the son had a glass eye, but he was a young man of good property. Coleman! yes, that was the name."
"Mrs. Green! Oh, that's Mr. Jones's attractive cousin who lives in Russell Square with her heavyset husband. They have a carriage, but I'm not sure if it’s actually Mr. Green who is Mrs. Jones's cousin. We can ask Cynthia when she gets home. Mr. Henderson! Of course—a young man with black sideburns, who used to be a student of Mr. Kirkpatrick's—or was he a student of Mr. Murray's? I remember they said he studied law with someone. Ah, yes! They are the ones who visited the day after Mr. Rawson's ball and admired Cynthia a lot, not realizing I was her mother. She was dressed very elegantly in black satin; and the son had a glass eye, but he was a young man with good means. Coleman! Yes, that was the name."
No more news of Roger until some time after Cynthia had returned from her London visit. She came back looking fresher and prettier than ever, beautifully dressed, thanks to her own good taste, and her cousin's generosity, full of amusing details of the gay life she had been enjoying, yet not at all out of spirits at having left it behind her. She brought home all sorts of pretty and dainty devices for Molly; a neck-ribbon made up in the newest fashion, a pattern for a tippet, a delicate pair of light gloves, embroidered as Molly had never seen gloves embroidered before, and many another little sign of remembrance during her absence. Yet somehow or other, Molly felt that Cynthia was changed in her relation to her. Molly was aware that she had never had Cynthia's full confidence, for with all her apparent frankness and naïveté of manner, Cynthia was extremely reserved and reticent. She knew this much of herself, and had often laughed about it to Molly, and the latter had by this time found out the truth of her friend's assertion. But Molly did not trouble herself much about it. She too knew that there were many thoughts and feelings that flitted through her mind which she should never think of telling to any one, except perhaps—if they were ever very much thrown together—to her father. She knew that Cynthia withheld from her more than thoughts and feelings—that she withheld facts. But then, as Molly reflected, these facts might involve details of struggle and suffering—might relate to her mother's neglect—and altogether be of so painful a character, that it would be well if Cynthia could forget her childhood altogether, instead of fixing it in her mind by the relation of her grievances and troubles. So it was not now by any want of confidence that Molly felt distanced as it were. It was because Cynthia rather avoided than sought her companionship; because her eyes shunned the straight, serious, loving look of Molly's; because there were certain subjects on which she evidently disliked speaking, not particularly interesting things as far as Molly could perceive, but it almost seemed as if they lay on the road to points to be avoided. Molly felt a sort of sighing pleasure in noticing Cynthia's changed manner of talking about Roger. She spoke of him tenderly now; "poor Roger," as she called him; and Molly thought that she must be referring to the illness which he had mentioned in his last letter. One morning in the first week after Cynthia's return home, just as he was going out, Mr. Gibson ran up into the drawing-room, hat on, booted and spurred, and hastily laid an open pamphlet down before her; pointing out a particular passage with his finger, but not speaking a word before he rapidly quitted the room. His eyes were sparkling, and had an amused as well as pleased expression. All this Molly noticed, as well as Cynthia's flush of colour as she read what was thus pointed out to her. Then she pushed it a little on one side, not closing the book, however, and went on with her work.
No news about Roger came until some time after Cynthia returned from her trip to London. She came back looking fresher and prettier than ever, beautifully dressed, thanks to her good taste and her cousin's generosity, full of amusing stories about the fun life she had been enjoying, yet completely in good spirits about leaving it all behind. She brought back all sorts of pretty little gifts for Molly: a neck ribbon made in the latest style, a pattern for a tippet, a delicate pair of light gloves embroidered in a way Molly had never seen before, and many other tokens of remembrance from her time away. Yet somehow, Molly felt that Cynthia had changed in relation to her. Molly knew she had never had Cynthia's full trust, because despite her apparent openness and naïveté, Cynthia was very reserved and private. She recognized this about herself and had often joked about it with Molly, who had come to understand the truth in her friend's words. But Molly didn't worry too much about it. She also knew there were many thoughts and feelings she had that she would never think of sharing with anyone, except maybe her father if they were ever in close quarters. She knew Cynthia kept more than just thoughts and feelings from her—she kept facts as well. But as Molly thought about it, those facts might involve struggles and pain—could relate to her mother's neglect—and altogether be so upsetting that it would be better for Cynthia to forget her childhood instead of recalling it through her grievances and troubles. So it wasn’t a lack of trust that made Molly feel distant. It was that Cynthia seemed to avoid rather than seek her company; that her eyes dodged Molly's direct, serious, loving gaze; that there were certain topics Cynthia clearly didn't want to discuss, not particularly sensitive subjects in Molly's view, but it almost felt like they led to things she wanted to steer clear of. Molly felt a kind of bittersweet pleasure in noticing Cynthia's changed way of talking about Roger. She referred to him affectionately now—"poor Roger," as she called him—and Molly thought it must be about the illness he mentioned in his last letter. One morning in the first week after Cynthia got home, just as he was leaving, Mr. Gibson rushed into the drawing room, hat on, dressed for riding, and quickly set an open pamphlet in front of her, pointing out a specific passage with his finger but saying nothing before leaving the room in a hurry. His eyes were sparkling, showing both amusement and pleasure. Molly noticed this, along with Cynthia's flushed cheeks as she read what he had pointed out. Then she pushed the pamphlet a little aside but didn’t close the book and continued with her work.
"What is it? may I see it?" asked Molly, stretching out her hand for the pamphlet, which lay within her reach. But she did not take it until Cynthia had said—
"What is it? Can I see it?" asked Molly, reaching out her hand for the pamphlet that was within her reach. But she didn't take it until Cynthia had said—
"Certainly; I don't suppose there are any great secrets in a scientific journal, full of reports of meetings." And she gave the book a little push towards Molly.
"Of course; I don't think there are any big secrets in a scientific journal filled with reports of meetings." And she nudged the book slightly towards Molly.
"Oh, Cynthia!" said Molly, catching her breath as she read, "are you not proud?" For it was an account of an annual gathering of the Geographical Society, and Lord Hollingford had read a letter he had received from Roger Hamley, dated from Arracuoba, a district in Africa, hitherto unvisited by any intelligent European traveller; and about which Mr. Hamley sent many curious particulars. The reading of this letter had been received with the greatest interest, and several subsequent speakers had paid the writer very high compliments.
"Oh, Cynthia!" Molly exclaimed, catching her breath as she read. "Aren't you proud?" It was a report on the annual meeting of the Geographical Society, where Lord Hollingford had read a letter from Roger Hamley, dated from Arracuoba, a region in Africa that no knowledgeable European traveler had visited before. Mr. Hamley shared many fascinating details about it. The reading of this letter generated a lot of interest, and several speakers afterward gave the writer high praise.
But Molly might have known Cynthia better than to expect an answer responsive to the feelings that prompted her question. Let Cynthia be ever so proud, ever so glad, or so grateful, or even indignant, remorseful, grieved or sorry, the very fact that she was expected by another to entertain any of these emotions, would have been enough to prevent her expressing them.
But Molly should have known Cynthia better than to expect an answer that reflected the feelings behind her question. Whether Cynthia was proud, happy, grateful, indignant, remorseful, sad, or sorry, the mere expectation from someone else to show any of these emotions would have been enough to stop her from doing so.
"I'm afraid I'm not as much struck by the wonder of the thing as you are, Molly. Besides, it is not news to me; at least, not entirely. I heard about the meeting before I left London; it was a good deal talked about in my uncle's set; to be sure, I didn't hear all the fine things they say of him there—but then, you know, that's a mere fashion of speaking, which means nothing; somebody is bound to pay compliments when a lord takes the trouble to read one of his letters aloud."
"I'm afraid I'm not as amazed by this as you are, Molly. Besides, it's not new to me; at least, not completely. I heard about the meeting before I left London; it was a hot topic among my uncle's friends. Sure, I didn't catch all the nice things they say about him there—but you know that's just a way of speaking that doesn't mean much; someone is always going to give compliments when a lord takes the time to read one of his letters out loud."
"Nonsense," said Molly. "You know you don't believe what you are saying, Cynthia."
"Nonsense," Molly said. "You know you don't really believe what you're saying, Cynthia."
Cynthia gave that pretty little jerk of her shoulders, which was her equivalent for a French shrug, but did not lift up her head from her sewing. Molly began to read the report over again.
Cynthia gave that cute little shrug of her shoulders, which was her version of a French shrug, but didn’t lift her head from her sewing. Molly started to read the report again.
"Why, Cynthia!" she said, "you might have been there; ladies were there. It says 'many ladies were present.' Oh, couldn't you have managed to go? If your uncle's set cared about these things, wouldn't some of them have taken you?"
"Why, Cynthia!" she said, "you could have gone; there were ladies there. It says 'many ladies were present.' Oh, couldn't you have figured out a way to go? If your uncle's group cared about these things, wouldn't some of them have taken you?"
"Perhaps, if I had asked them. But I think they would have been rather astonished at my sudden turn for science."
"Maybe, if I had asked them. But I think they would have been pretty surprised by my sudden interest in science."
"You might have told your uncle how matters really stood, he wouldn't have talked about it if you had wished him not, I am sure, and he could have helped you."
"You could have explained to your uncle how things really were; he wouldn't have discussed it if you didn't want him to, I'm sure, and he could have helped you."
"Once for all, Molly," said Cynthia, now laying down her work, and speaking with quick authority, "do learn to understand that it is, and always has been my wish, not to have the relation which Roger and I bear to each other, mentioned or talked about. When the right time comes, I will make it known to my uncle, and to everybody whom it may concern; but I am not going to make mischief, and get myself into trouble—even for the sake of hearing compliments paid to him—by letting it out before the time. If I'm pushed to it, I'd sooner break it off altogether at once, and have done with it. I can't be worse off than I am now." Her angry tone had changed into a kind of desponding complaint before she had ended her sentence. Molly looked at her with dismay.
"Listen up, Molly," Cynthia said, putting down her work and speaking firmly, "you need to understand that it’s my wish—not to mention the relationship Roger and I have. When the right time comes, I’ll tell my uncle and anyone else who needs to know, but I’m not going to stir things up and get myself into trouble—even just to hear people compliment him—by revealing it too soon. If I’m pushed, I’d rather end it all right now and be done with it. I can’t be worse off than I am now." Her angry tone turned into a sort of despondent complaint by the time she finished speaking. Molly looked at her in shock.
"I can't understand you, Cynthia," she said at length.
"I can't understand you, Cynthia," she said finally.
"No; I daresay you can't," said Cynthia, looking at her with tears in her eyes, and very tenderly, as if in atonement for her late vehemence. "I am afraid—I hope you never will."
"No, I really don't think you can," Cynthia said, looking at her with tears in her eyes, very tenderly, as if to make up for her earlier intensity. "I'm afraid—I hope you never will."
In a moment, Molly's arms were round her. "Oh, Cynthia," she murmured, "have I been plaguing you? Have I vexed you? Don't say you're afraid of my knowing you. Of course you've your faults, everybody has, but I think I love you the better for them."
In an instant, Molly had her arms around her. "Oh, Cynthia," she whispered, "have I been annoying you? Have I upset you? Please don't say you're scared of me knowing you. Sure, you have your flaws; everyone does, but I think I love you even more because of them."
"I don't know that I am so very bad," said Cynthia, smiling a little through the tears that Molly's words and caresses had forced to overflow from her eyes. "But I have got into scrapes. I'm in a scrape now. I do sometimes believe I shall always be in scrapes, and if they ever come to light, I shall seem to be worse than I really am; and I know your father will throw me off, and I—no, I won't be afraid that you will, Molly."
"I don’t think I’m that bad," Cynthia said, smiling a bit through the tears that Molly's words and hugs had made spill from her eyes. "But I've definitely gotten into trouble. I'm in trouble right now. Sometimes I really believe I'll always be in trouble, and if it ever gets out, I’ll look worse than I actually am; and I know your dad will reject me, but I—no, I won’t worry that you will, Molly."
"I'm sure I won't. Are they—do you think—how would Roger take it?" asked Molly, very timidly.
"I'm sure I won't. Do you think—how would Roger handle it?" asked Molly, feeling very timid.
"I don't know. I hope he will never hear of it. I don't see why he should, for in a little while I shall be quite clear again. It all came about without my ever thinking I was doing wrong. I've a great mind to tell you all about it, Molly."
"I don't know. I hope he never finds out. I don't see why he should, because soon I’ll be completely fine again. It all happened without me ever thinking I was doing anything wrong. I really want to tell you all about it, Molly."
Molly did not like to urge it, though she longed to know, and to see if she could not offer help; but while Cynthia was hesitating, and perhaps, to say the truth, rather regretting that she had even made this slight advance towards bestowing her confidence, Mrs. Gibson came in, full of some manner of altering a gown of hers, so as to make it into the fashion of the day, as she had seen it during her visit to London. Cynthia seemed to forget her tears and her troubles, and to throw her whole soul into millinery.
Molly didn’t want to push, even though she was eager to know and see if she could help; but while Cynthia was hesitating, and honestly, maybe even regretting that she had taken this small step to share her feelings, Mrs. Gibson walked in, excitedly talking about how to change one of her dresses to fit the current style she had seen during her trip to London. Cynthia seemed to forget her tears and her worries, completely immersing herself in fashion.
Cynthia's correspondence went on pretty briskly with her London cousins, according to the usual rate of correspondence in those days. Indeed, Mrs. Gibson was occasionally inclined to complain of the frequency of Helen Kirkpatrick's letters; for before the penny post came in, the recipient had to pay the postage of letters; and eleven-pence-halfpenny three times a week came, according to Mrs. Gibson's mode of reckoning when annoyed, to a sum "between three and four shillings." But these complaints were only for the family; they saw the wrong side of the tapestry. Hollingford in general, Miss Brownings in particular, heard of "dear Helen's enthusiastic friendship for Cynthia," and of "the real pleasure it was to receive such constant news—relays of news indeed—from London. It was almost as good as living there!"
Cynthia's letters with her London cousins were quite frequent, following the usual pace of correspondence at that time. In fact, Mrs. Gibson sometimes complained about how often Helen Kirkpatrick wrote; before the penny post, recipients had to cover the cost of the postage, and getting letters three times a week at eleven-and-a-half pence added up, as Mrs. Gibson would grumble, to "between three and four shillings." But these complaints were only for the family; they saw the downside of the situation. The town of Hollingford, particularly the Brownings, heard about "dear Helen's enthusiastic friendship for Cynthia" and how wonderful it was to get such regular updates—truly a stream of news—from London. It felt almost as good as living there!
"A great deal better I should think," said Miss Browning with some severity. For she had got many of her notions of the metropolis from the British Essayists, where town is so often represented as the centre of dissipation, corrupting country wives and squires' daughters, and unfitting them for all their duties by the constant whirl of its not always innocent pleasures. London was a sort of moral pitch, which few could touch and not be defiled. Miss Browning had been on the watch for the signs of deterioration in Cynthia's character ever since her return home. But, except in a greater number of pretty and becoming articles of dress, there was no great change for the worse to be perceived. Cynthia had been "in the world," had "beheld the glare and glitter and dazzling display of London," yet had come back to Hollingford as ready as ever to place a chair for Miss Browning, or to gather flowers for a nosegay for Miss Phœbe, or to mend her own clothes. But all this was set down to the merits of Cynthia, not to the credit of London-town.
"I think it’s a lot better," said Miss Browning with some strictness. She had gotten many of her ideas about the city from the British Essayists, where the town is often portrayed as the hub of excess, corrupting country wives and the daughters of landowners, making them unfit for their responsibilities through the constant whirlwind of pleasures that aren’t always innocent. London was like a moral quagmire, which few could come into contact with and not be tainted. Miss Browning had been on the lookout for signs of decline in Cynthia's character ever since her return home. However, aside from a greater number of stylish and flattering outfits, there wasn't any significant decline to be seen. Cynthia had experienced life "in the world," had "witnessed the shine and glamour and dazzling spectacle of London," yet had returned to Hollingford just as eager as ever to pull out a chair for Miss Browning, gather flowers for a bouquet for Miss Phœbe, or repair her own clothes. But all this was attributed to Cynthia's qualities, not to the influence of London.
"As far as I can judge of London," said Miss Browning, sententiously continuing her tirade against the place, "it's no better than a pickpocket and a robber dressed up in the spoils of honest folk. I should like to know where my Lord Hollingford was bred, and Mr. Roger Hamley. Your good husband lent me that report of the meeting, Mrs. Gibson, where so much was said about them both, and he was as proud of their praises as if he had been akin to them, and Phœbe read it aloud to me, for the print was too small for my eyes; she was a good deal perplexed with all the new names of places, but I said she had better skip them all, for we had never heard of them before and probably should never hear of them again, but she read out the fine things they said of my lord, and Mr. Roger, and I put it to you, where were they born and bred? Why, within eight miles of Hollingford; it might have been Molly there or me; it's all a chance; and then they go and talk about the pleasures of intellectual society in London, and the distinguished people up there that it is such an advantage to know, and all the time I know it's only shops and the play that's the real attraction. But that's neither here nor there. We all put our best foot foremost, and if we have a reason to give that looks sensible we speak it out like men, and never say anything about the silliness we are hugging to our hearts. But I ask you again, where does this fine society come from, and these wise men, and these distinguished travellers? Why, out of country parishes like this! London picks 'em all up, and decks herself with them, and then calls out loud to the folks she's robbed, and says, 'Come and see how fine I am.' Fine, indeed! I've no patience with London: Cynthia is much better out of it; and I'm not sure, if I were you, Mrs. Gibson, if I wouldn't stop up those London letters: they'll only be unsettling her."
"As far as I can tell about London," Miss Browning said, continuing her rant against the city, "it's nothing more than a pickpocket and a thief dressed up in the spoils of honest people. I’d really like to know where Lord Hollingford and Mr. Roger Hamley come from. Your good husband lent me that report of the meeting, Mrs. Gibson, where a lot was said about both of them, and he was as proud of their compliments as if he were related to them. Phœbe read it aloud to me since the print was too small for my eyes; she was quite confused by all the unfamiliar place names, but I told her to skip them all since we’d never heard of them before and probably would never hear of them again. However, she did read aloud the nice things they said about my lord and Mr. Roger, and I ask you, where were they born? Why, just eight miles from Hollingford; it could have been Molly or me; it’s all chance. And then they talk about the joys of intellectual society in London and the distinguished people there who it’s such a privilege to know, when all I see is that it’s really just shops and theater that are the real draws. But that’s neither here nor there. We all put our best foot forward, and if we have a sensible reason to share, we speak it plainly like adults and never mention the silly things we hold dear. But I ask you again, where does this fancy society come from, and these wise men and distinguished travelers? Why, from little country parishes like this! London picks them all up, adorns herself with them, and then loudly calls out to the people she’s robbed, saying, 'Come and see how great I am.' Great, indeed! I have no patience with London: Cynthia is much better off away from it; and if I were you, Mrs. Gibson, I’m not sure I wouldn’t stop those London letters: they’ll just unsettle her."
"But perhaps she may live in London some of these days, Miss Browning," simpered Mrs. Gibson.
"But maybe she will live in London someday, Miss Browning," Mrs. Gibson said with a smile.
"Time enough then to be thinking of London. I wish her an honest country husband with enough to live upon, and a little to lay by, and a good character to boot. Mind that, Molly," said she, firing round upon the startled Molly; "I wish Cynthia a husband with a good character; but she's got a mother to look after her; you've none, and when your mother was alive she was a dear friend of mine: so I'm not going to let you throw yourself away upon any one whose life isn't clear and above-board, you may depend upon it!"
"There's plenty of time to think about London later. I hope she finds an honest country husband who has enough to get by, a little extra to save, and a good reputation to match. Keep that in mind, Molly," she said, turning suddenly to the surprised Molly; "I want Cynthia to marry someone with a good name; but she has a mother to watch over her; you don’t, and when your mother was alive, she was a dear friend of mine. So, I won't let you waste yourself on anyone whose life isn't straightforward and honest, you can count on that!"
This last speech fell like a bomb into the quiet little drawing-room, it was delivered with such vehemence. Miss Browning, in her secret heart, meant it as a warning against the intimacy she believed that Molly had formed with Mr. Preston; but as it happened that Molly had never dreamed of any such intimacy, the girl could not imagine why such severity of speech should be addressed to her. Mrs. Gibson, who always took up the points of every word or action where they touched her own self (and called it sensitiveness), broke the silence that followed Miss Browning's speech by saying, plaintively,—
This last speech dropped like a bomb into the quiet little living room, delivered with such intensity. Miss Browning secretly intended it as a warning about the closeness she thought Molly had with Mr. Preston; however, since Molly had never even considered such a relationship, she couldn't understand why such harsh words were directed at her. Mrs. Gibson, who always took everything personally and called it being sensitive, broke the silence that followed Miss Browning's speech by saying, sadly,
"I'm sure, Miss Browning, you are very much mistaken if you think that any mother could take more care of Molly than I do. I don't—I can't think there is any need for any one to interfere to protect her, and I have not an idea why you have been talking in this way, just as if we were all wrong, and you were all right. It hurts my feelings, indeed it does; for Molly can tell you there is not a thing or a favour that Cynthia has, that she has not. And as for not taking care of her, why, if she were to go up to London to-morrow, I should make a point of going with her to see after her; and I never did it for Cynthia when she was at school in France; and her bedroom is furnished just like Cynthia's, and I let her wear my red shawl whenever she likes—she might have it oftener if she would. I can't think what you mean, Miss Browning."
"I'm sure, Miss Browning, you're very mistaken if you think any mother could take better care of Molly than I do. I just can't see why anyone would feel the need to step in and protect her, and I have no idea why you've been speaking like we’re all wrong and you’re the one who's right. It really hurts my feelings; Molly can tell you that there’s nothing Cynthia has that she doesn’t. And as for not taking care of her, if she were to go to London tomorrow, I would definitely go with her to make sure she's okay. I never did that for Cynthia when she was studying in France. Her bedroom is decorated exactly like Cynthia’s, and I let her wear my red shawl whenever she wants—she could wear it more often if she liked. I really don't understand what you mean, Miss Browning."
"I did not mean to offend you, but I meant just to give Molly a hint. She understands what I mean."
"I didn’t mean to offend you; I just wanted to give Molly a little hint. She gets what I’m saying."
"I'm sure I don't," said Molly, boldly. "I haven't a notion what you meant, if you were alluding to anything more than you said straight out,—that you do not wish me to marry any one who hasn't a good character, and that, as you were a friend of mamma's, you would prevent my marrying a man with a bad character, by every means in your power. I'm not thinking of marrying; I don't want to marry anybody at all; but if I did, and he were not a good man, I should thank you for coming and warning me of it."
"I'm not sure what you mean," Molly said confidently. "I have no idea what you were hinting at, if you were implying anything beyond what you said directly—that you don’t want me to marry anyone without a good reputation, and that since you were a friend of my mom's, you'd do everything you could to stop me from marrying a man with a bad reputation. I'm not planning to get married; I don’t want to marry anyone at all; but if I did, and he wasn't a good man, I would appreciate you coming to warn me."
"I shall not stand on warning you, Molly. I shall forbid the banns in church, if need be," said Miss Browning, half convinced of the clear transparent truth of what Molly had said—blushing all over, it is true, but with her steady eyes fixed on Miss Browning's face while she spoke.
"I won’t hesitate to warn you, Molly. I will block the wedding announcement in church if I have to," said Miss Browning, partly convinced of the clear and honest truth in what Molly had said—blushing all over, it’s true, but with her steady gaze fixed on Miss Browning’s face as she spoke.
"Do!" said Molly.
"Do it!" said Molly.
"Well, well, I won't say any more. Perhaps I was mistaken. We won't say any more about it. But remember what I have said, Molly; there's no harm in that, at any rate. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, Mrs. Gibson. As stepmothers go, I think you try and do your duty. Good morning. Good-by to you both, and God bless you."
"Alright, I won’t say anything else. Maybe I was wrong. We’ll leave it at that. But keep in mind what I’ve said, Molly; it’s harmless, at least. I’m sorry I upset you, Mrs. Gibson. As far as stepmothers go, I believe you’re doing your best. Good morning. Goodbye to both of you, and take care."
If Miss Browning thought that her final blessing would secure peace in the room she was leaving, she was very much mistaken; Mrs. Gibson burst out with,—
If Miss Browning thought that her last blessing would bring peace to the room she was leaving, she was very wrong; Mrs. Gibson suddenly exclaimed with,
"Try and do my duty, indeed! I should be much obliged to you, Molly, if you would take care not to behave in such a manner as to bring down upon me such impertinence as I have just been receiving from Miss Browning."
"Seriously try to do your job! I'd really appreciate it, Molly, if you could avoid acting in a way that brings me the kind of disrespect that I've just gotten from Miss Browning."
"But I don't know what made her talk as she did, mamma," said Molly.
"But I don't know what made her talk like that, Mom," said Molly.
"I'm sure I don't know, and I don't care either. But I know that I never was spoken to as if I was trying to do my duty before,—'trying' indeed! everybody always knew that I did it, without talking about it before my face in that rude manner. I've that deep feeling about duty that I think it ought only to be talked about in church, and in such sacred places as that; not to have a common caller startling one with it, even though she was an early friend of your mother's. And as if I didn't look after you quite as much as I look after Cynthia! Why, it was only yesterday I went up into Cynthia's room and found her reading a letter that she put away in a hurry as soon as I came in, and I didn't even ask her who it was from, and I'm sure I should have made you tell me."
"I'm not sure, and honestly, I don't care either. But I know that I was never addressed as if I was struggling to fulfill my duty before—'struggling,' really! Everyone always recognized that I did it without having to discuss it in that rude way right in front of me. I have such a strong sense of duty that I believe it should only be talked about in church or other sacred places—not to have some casual visitor catch me off guard with it, even if she was an old friend of your mom's. And as if I didn’t look after you just as much as I look after Cynthia! In fact, just yesterday, I went up to Cynthia's room and found her reading a letter that she quickly hid away as soon as I walked in, and I didn’t even ask her who it was from, and I certainly would have made you tell me."
Very likely. Mrs. Gibson shrank from any conflicts with Cynthia, pretty sure that she would be worsted in the end; while Molly generally submitted sooner than have any struggle for her own will.
Very likely. Mrs. Gibson avoided any conflicts with Cynthia, pretty sure that she would come out on the losing end; while Molly usually gave in rather than have any fight for her own wishes.
Just then Cynthia came in.
Cynthia just walked in.
"What's the matter?" said she quickly, seeing that something was wrong.
"What's wrong?" she asked quickly, noticing that something was off.
"Why, Molly has been doing something which has set that impertinent Miss Browning off into lecturing me on trying to do my duty! If your poor father had but lived, Cynthia, I should never have been spoken to as I have been. 'A stepmother trying to do her duty,' indeed! That was Miss Browning's expression."
"Why, Molly has been doing something that has made that rude Miss Browning start lecturing me about trying to do my duty! If your poor father had lived, Cynthia, I would never have been spoken to the way I have been. 'A stepmother trying to do her duty,' really! That was Miss Browning's remark."
Any allusion to her father took from Cynthia all desire of irony. She came forward, and again asked Molly what was the matter.
Any mention of her father drained all sense of irony from Cynthia. She stepped closer and asked Molly again what was wrong.
Molly, herself ruffled, made answer,—
Molly, a bit flustered, replied,—
"Miss Browning seemed to think I was likely to marry some one whose character was objectionable—"
"Miss Browning seemed to think I was likely to marry someone whose character was offensive—
"You, Molly?" said Cynthia.
"You, Molly?" asked Cynthia.
"Yes—she once before spoke to me,—I suspect she has got some notion about Mr. Preston in her head—"
"Yeah—she mentioned it to me before—I think she has some idea about Mr. Preston in her head—
Cynthia sate down quite suddenly. Molly went on: "And she spoke as if mamma did not look enough after me,—I think she was rather provoking—"
Cynthia sat down quite suddenly. Molly continued: "And she spoke as if mom didn’t take care of me enough—I think she was kind of annoying—"
"Not rather, but very—very impertinent," said Mrs. Gibson, a little soothed by Molly's recognition of her grievance.
"Not just a bit, but really—very rude," said Mrs. Gibson, feeling a bit better due to Molly's acknowledgment of her complaint.
"What could have put it into her head?" said Cynthia, very quietly, taking up her sewing as she spoke.
"What could have put that idea in her head?" said Cynthia, speaking softly as she picked up her sewing.
"I don't know," said her mother, replying to the question after her own fashion. "I'm sure I don't always approve of Mr. Preston; but even if it was him she was thinking about, he's far more agreeable than she is; and I had much rather have him coming to call than an old maid like her any day."
"I don't know," her mother said, answering the question in her own way. "I definitely don't always like Mr. Preston; but even if she was thinking about him, he's a lot more pleasant than she is; and I'd much rather have him come to visit than an old maid like her any day."
"I don't know that it was Mr. Preston she was thinking about," said Molly. "It was only a guess. When you were both in London she spoke about him,—I thought she had heard something about you and him, Cynthia." Unseen by her mother Cynthia looked up at Molly, her eyes full of prohibition, her cheeks full of angry colour. Molly stopped short suddenly. After that look she was surprised at the quietness with which Cynthia said, almost immediately,—
"I’m not sure she was actually thinking about Mr. Preston," Molly said. "That was just a guess. While you both were in London, she mentioned him—I thought she might have heard something about you and him, Cynthia." Hidden from her mother, Cynthia glanced at Molly, her eyes full of warning, her cheeks flushed with anger. Molly abruptly paused. After that look, she was taken aback by how calmly Cynthia responded, almost right away,—
"Well, after all, it is only your fancy that she was alluding to Mr. Preston, so perhaps we had better not say any more about him; and as for her advice to mamma to look after you better, Miss Molly, I'll stand bail for your good behaviour; for both mamma and I know you're the last person to do any foolish things in that way. And now don't let us talk any more about it. I was coming to tell you that Hannah Brand's little boy has been badly burnt, and his sister is downstairs asking for old linen."
"Well, it's just your imagination that she was referring to Mr. Preston, so maybe we should drop the subject; and regarding her suggestion to Mom to keep a closer eye on you, Miss Molly, I can vouch for your good behavior because both Mom and I know you're the last person to act foolishly like that. Now, let's not discuss it anymore. I was coming to let you know that Hannah Brand's little boy has been seriously burned, and his sister is downstairs asking for old linens."
Mrs. Gibson was always kind to poor people, and she immediately got up and went to her stores to search for the article wanted.
Mrs. Gibson was always kind to those in need, and she immediately got up and went to her stores to look for the item they wanted.
Cynthia turned quietly round to Molly.
Cynthia quietly turned to Molly.
"Molly, pray don't ever allude to anything between me and Mr. Preston,—not to mamma, nor to any one. Never do! I've a reason for it,—don't say anything more about it, ever."
"Molly, please don't ever mention anything about me and Mr. Preston—neither to mom nor to anyone else. Just don't! There's a reason for this—never say anything more about it, okay?"
Mrs. Gibson came back at this moment, and Molly had to stop short again on the brink of Cynthia's confidence; uncertain indeed this time, whether she would have been told anything more, and only sure that she had annoyed Cynthia a good deal.
Mrs. Gibson came back at that moment, and Molly had to pause once more at the edge of Cynthia's trust; this time uncertain if she would have been told anything else, only sure that she had frustrated Cynthia quite a bit.
But the time was approaching when she would know all.
But the time was coming when she would know everything.
CHAPTER XLII.
THE STORM BURSTS.
The autumn drifted away through all its seasons. The golden corn-harvest, the walks through the stubble-fields, and rambles into hazel-copses in search of nuts; the stripping of the apple-orchards of their ruddy fruit, amid the joyous cries and shouts of watching children; and the gorgeous tulip-like colouring of the later time had now come on with the shortening days. There was comparative silence in the land, excepting for the distant shots, and the whirr of the partridges as they rose up from the field.
Autumn faded away through all its seasons. The golden corn harvest, the strolls through the stubble fields, and the walks into hazel groves in search of nuts; the harvesting of the apple orchards full of their red fruit, surrounded by the joyful cries and shouts of children watching; and the vibrant, tulip-like colors of later days had now arrived with the shortening daylight. There was a calmness over the land, except for the distant gunshots and the sound of partridges taking off from the field.
Ever since Miss Browning's unlucky conversation, things had been ajar in the Gibsons' house. Cynthia seemed to keep every one out at (mental) arms'-length; and particularly avoided any private talks with Molly. Mrs. Gibson, still cherishing a grudge against Miss Browning for her implied accusation of not looking enough after Molly, chose to exercise a most wearying supervision over the poor girl. It was, "Where have you been, child?" "Who did you see?" "Who was that letter from?" "Why were you so long out when you had only to go to so-and-so?" just as if Molly had really been detected in carrying on some underhand intercourse. She answered every question asked of her with the simple truthfulness of perfect innocence; but the inquiries (although she read their motive, and knew that they arose from no especial suspicion of her conduct, but only that Mrs. Gibson might be able to say that she looked well after her stepdaughter) chafed her inexpressibly. Very often she did not go out at all, sooner than have to give a plan of her intended proceedings, when perhaps she had no plan at all,—only thought of wandering out at her own sweet will, and of taking pleasure in the bright solemn fading of the year. It was a very heavy time for Molly,—zest and life had fled, and left so many of the old delights mere shells of seeming. She thought it was that her youth had fled; at nineteen! Cynthia was no longer the same, somehow: and perhaps Cynthia's change would injure her in the distant Roger's opinion. Her stepmother seemed almost kind in comparison with Cynthia's withdrawal of her heart; Mrs. Gibson worried her, to be sure, with all these forms of watching over her; but in all her other ways, she, at any rate, was the same. Yet Cynthia herself seemed anxious and care-worn, though she would not speak of her anxieties to Molly. And then the poor girl in her goodness would blame herself for feeling Cynthia's change of manner; for as Molly said to herself, "If it is hard work for me to help always fretting after Roger, and wondering where he is, and how he is, what must it be for her?"
Ever since Miss Browning's unfortunate conversation, things had been off in the Gibsons' house. Cynthia seemed to keep everyone at a mental distance and specifically avoided having any private talks with Molly. Mrs. Gibson, still holding a grudge against Miss Browning for implying that she didn’t take good enough care of Molly, chose to closely supervise the poor girl. It was always, "Where have you been, child?" "Who did you see?" "Who was that letter from?" "Why were you out so long when you only went to so-and-so?" as if Molly had actually been caught doing something sneaky. She answered every question with the simple honesty of perfect innocence, but the constant inquiries—although she understood their motive and knew they came from Mrs. Gibson's desire to say she was looking after her stepdaughter—irritated her immensely. Many times, she wouldn’t go out at all rather than have to explain her plans, when maybe she didn't have any plans—just wanting to wander out freely and enjoy the beautiful, solemn fading of the year. It was a heavy time for Molly; joy and life had left her, leaving many of her old delights as mere shadows of what they used to be. She thought it was because her youth was gone—at nineteen! Cynthia just seemed different somehow; and maybe Cynthia's change would affect how Roger saw her in the future. Her stepmother seemed almost kind compared to Cynthia's emotional withdrawal; Mrs. Gibson certainly annoyed her with all the ways she kept watch over her, but in other respects, she was at least the same. Yet Cynthia appeared anxious and troubled, even though she wouldn’t share her worries with Molly. And then, in her kindness, the poor girl would blame herself for noticing Cynthia's change in behavior, thinking, "If it’s hard for me to stop worrying about Roger, wondering where he is and how he’s doing, what must it be like for her?"
One day Mr. Gibson came in, bright and swift.
One day, Mr. Gibson came in, lively and quick.
"Molly," said he, "where's Cynthia?"
"Molly," he said, "where's Cynthia?"
"Gone out to do some errands—"
"Gone out to run some errands—"
"Well, it's a pity—but never mind. Put on your bonnet and cloak as fast as you can. I've had to borrow old Simpson's dog-cart,—there would have been room both for you and Cynthia; but as it is, you must walk back alone. I'll drive you as far on the Barford Road as I can, and then you must jump down. I can't take you on to Broadhurst's, I may be kept there for hours."
"Well, it's a shame—but whatever. Put on your hat and coat as quickly as you can. I had to borrow old Simpson's dog cart—there would have been space for you and Cynthia, but as it is, you have to walk back by yourself. I'll drive you as far as I can on the Barford Road, and then you'll have to get out. I can't take you to Broadhurst's; I might be stuck there for hours."
Mrs. Gibson was out of the room; out of the house it might be, for all Molly cared, now she had her father's leave and command. Her bonnet and cloak were on in two minutes, and she was sitting by her father's side, the back seat shut up, and the light weight going swiftly and merrily bumping over the stone-paved lanes.
Mrs. Gibson was out of the room; out of the house it might be, for all Molly cared, now she had her father's permission and orders. Her bonnet and cloak were on in two minutes, and she was sitting by her father's side, the back seat closed, and the light carriage quickly and happily bouncing over the cobblestone streets.
"Oh, this is charming!" said Molly, after a toss-up on her seat from a tremendous bump.
"Oh, this is lovely!" said Molly, after being jolted in her seat from a huge bump.
"For youth, but not for crabbed age," said Mr. Gibson. "My bones are getting rheumatic, and would rather go smoothly over macadamized streets."
"For young people, but not for old folks," said Mr. Gibson. "My joints are getting stiff, and I would prefer to glide easily over paved streets."
"That's treason to this lovely view and this fine pure air, papa. Only I don't believe you."
"That's a betrayal to this beautiful view and this clean air, Dad. I just don’t believe you."
"Thank you. As you are so complimentary, I think I shall put you down at the foot of this hill; we've passed the second mile-stone from Hollingford."
"Thanks. Since you’re being so nice, I think I’ll drop you off at the bottom of this hill; we’ve just passed the second mile marker from Hollingford."
"Oh, let me just go up to the top! I know we can see the blue range of the Malverns from it, and Dorrimer Hall among the woods; the horse will want a minute's rest, and then I will get down without a word."
"Oh, let me just go to the top! I know we can see the blue hills of the Malverns from there, and Dorrimer Hall among the trees; the horse will need a minute to rest, and then I'll get down without saying anything."
So she went up to the top of the hill; and there they sate still a minute or two, enjoying the view, without much speaking. The woods were golden; the old house of purple-red brick, with its twisted chimneys, rose up from among them facing on to green lawns, and a placid lake; beyond again were the Malvern Hills.
So she walked up to the top of the hill, and there they sat quietly for a minute or two, taking in the view without saying much. The woods were golden; the old house made of purple-red brick, with its twisted chimneys, stood among them, looking out onto green lawns and a calm lake; beyond that were the Malvern Hills.
"Now jump down, lassie, and make the best of your way home before it gets dark. You'll find the cut over Croston Heath shorter than the road we've come by."
"Now hop down, girl, and hurry home before it gets dark. You'll find the path over Croston Heath is shorter than the road we've taken."
To get to Croston Heath, Molly had to go down a narrow lane overshadowed by trees, with picturesque old cottages dotted here and there on the steep sandy banks; and then there came a small wood, and then there was a brook to be crossed on a plank-bridge, and up the steeper fields on the opposite side were cut steps in the turfy path; these ended, she was on Croston Heath, a wide-stretching common skirted by labourers' dwellings, past which a near road to Hollingford lay.
To reach Croston Heath, Molly had to walk down a narrow lane lined with trees, with charming old cottages scattered on the steep sandy slopes; then she passed through a small wooded area, crossed a stream on a plank bridge, and climbed up the steeper fields on the other side, where there were cut steps in the grassy path. Once she reached the top, she found herself on Croston Heath, a broad open area surrounded by workers' homes, with a road to Hollingford nearby.
The loneliest part of the road was the first—the lane, the wood, the little bridge, and the clambering through the upland fields. But Molly cared little for loneliness. She went along the lane under the over-arching elm-branches, from which, here and there, a yellow leaf came floating down upon her very dress; past the last cottage where a little child had tumbled down the sloping bank, and was publishing the accident with frightened cries. Molly stooped to pick it up, and taking it in her arms in a manner which caused intense surprise to take the place of alarm in its little breast, she carried it up the rough flag steps towards the cottage which she supposed to be its home. The mother came running in from the garden behind the house, still holding the late damsons she had been gathering in her apron; but, on seeing her, the little creature held out its arms to go to her, and she dropped her damsons all about as she took it, and began to soothe it as it cried afresh, interspersing her lulling with thanks to Molly. She called her by her name; and on Molly asking the woman how she came to know it, she replied that before her marriage she had been a servant of Mrs. Goodenough, and so was "bound to know Dr. Gibson's daughter by sight." After the exchange of two or three more words, Molly ran down into the lane, and pursued her way, stopping here and there to gather a nosegay of such leaves as struck her for their brilliant colouring. She entered the wood. As she turned a corner in the lonely path, she heard a passionate voice of distress; and in an instant she recognized Cynthia's tones. She stood still and looked around. There were some thick holly-bushes shining out dark green in the midst of the amber and scarlet foliage. If any one was there, it must be behind these thick bushes. So Molly left the path, and went straight, plunging through the brown tangled growth of ferns and underwood, and turned the holly bushes. There stood Mr. Preston and Cynthia; he holding her hands tight, each looking as if just silenced in some vehement talk by the rustle of Molly's footsteps.
The loneliest part of the road was the first—the lane, the woods, the little bridge, and the climb through the hillside fields. But Molly didn't mind being alone. She walked down the lane under the arching elm branches, where here and there a yellow leaf floated down onto her dress; past the last cottage where a little child had tumbled down the sloping bank, crying out in fear about the accident. Molly bent down to pick it up, and as she lifted it in her arms, it went from being scared to surprised. She carried it up the rough stone steps toward what she thought was its home. The mother rushed in from the garden behind the house, still holding the late damsons she had been gathering in her apron; seeing Molly, the little one reached out its arms to go to her. The mother dropped her damsons everywhere as she took the child, soothing it as it cried again, thanking Molly in between. She called Molly by name, and when Molly asked how she knew it, she replied that before getting married, she had been a servant for Mrs. Goodenough, so she was "bound to know Dr. Gibson's daughter by sight." After exchanging a few more words, Molly continued down the lane, stopping here and there to pick a bouquet of colorful leaves that caught her eye. She entered the woods. As she turned a corner on the lonely path, she heard a voice filled with distress; instantly, she recognized Cynthia's voice. She paused and looked around. There were some thick holly bushes standing out dark green among the amber and scarlet leaves. If anyone was there, they must be behind those bushes. So Molly left the path, pushing through the tangled brown ferns and undergrowth, and turned towards the holly bushes. There stood Mr. Preston and Cynthia; he was holding her hands tightly, both of them looking as if they had just stopped a heated conversation when they heard Molly's footsteps.
For an instant no one spoke. Then Cynthia said,—
For a moment, nobody said anything. Then Cynthia said,—
"Oh, Molly, Molly, come and judge between us!"
"Oh, Molly, Molly, come and help us settle this!"
Mr. Preston let go Cynthia's hands slowly, with a look that was more of a sneer than a smile; and yet he, too, had been strongly agitated, whatever was the subject in dispute. Molly came forward and took Cynthia's arm, her eyes steadily fixed on Mr. Preston's face. It was fine to see the fearlessness of her perfect innocence. He could not bear her look, and said to Cynthia,—
Mr. Preston released Cynthia's hands slowly, his expression more of a sneer than a smile; still, he had been deeply shaken, no matter what the argument was about. Molly stepped forward and linked her arm with Cynthia's, her gaze fixed intently on Mr. Preston's face. It was impressive to witness the confidence of her pure innocence. He couldn't stand her stare and said to Cynthia—
"The subject of our conversation does not well admit of a third person's presence. As Miss Gibson seems to wish for your company now, I must beg you to fix some other time and place where we can finish our discussion."
"The topic we're discussing doesn't really suit having a third person around. Since Miss Gibson seems to want you here now, I have to ask you to choose another time and place so we can wrap up our conversation."
"I will go if Cynthia wishes me," said Molly.
"I'll go if Cynthia wants me to," said Molly.
"No, no; stay—I want you to stay—I want you to hear it all—I wish I had told you sooner."
"No, no; stay—I need you to stay—I want you to hear everything—I wish I had told you earlier."
"You mean that you regret that she has not been made aware of our engagement—that you promised long ago to be my wife. Pray remember that it was you who made me promise secrecy, not I you!"
"You mean that you regret she isn't aware of our engagement—that you promised long ago to be my wife. Please remember that it was you who made me promise to keep it a secret, not the other way around!"
"I don't believe him, Cynthia. Don't, don't cry if you can help it; I don't believe him."
"I don't believe him, Cynthia. Please, try not to cry if you can help it; I just don't believe him."
"Cynthia," said he, suddenly changing his tone to fervid tenderness, "pray, pray do not go on so; you can't think how it distresses me!" He stepped forward to try and take her hand and soothe her; but she shrank away from him, and sobbed the more irrepressibly. She felt Molly's presence so much to be a protection that now she dared to let herself go, and to weaken herself by giving way to her emotion.
"Cynthia," he said, suddenly switching to an intense, caring tone, "please, please don't keep doing this; you have no idea how upset it makes me!" He moved closer to try and take her hand and comfort her, but she pulled away from him, crying even harder. She felt that having Molly around was so protective that now she allowed herself to be vulnerable and express her emotions.
"Go away!" said Molly. "Don't you see you make her worse?" But he did not stir; he was looking at Cynthia so intently that he did not seem even to hear her. "Go," said Molly, vehemently, "if it really distresses you to see her cry. Don't you see, it's you who are the cause of it?"
"Go away!" Molly said. "Don't you see you're making it worse for her?" But he didn’t move; he was staring at Cynthia so intensely that it seemed like he didn’t even hear her. "Just go," Molly insisted, "if it really bothers you to see her crying. Can't you see you're the reason for it?"
"I will go if Cynthia tells me," said he at length.
"I'll go if Cynthia tells me to," he finally said.
"Oh, Molly, I don't know what to do," said Cynthia, taking down her hands from her tear-stained face, and appealing to Molly, and sobbing worse than ever; in fact, she became hysterical, and though she tried to speak coherently, no intelligible words would come.
"Oh, Molly, I don’t know what to do," Cynthia said, pulling her hands away from her tear-streaked face and turning to Molly, sobbing harder than ever. She became hysterical, and even though she tried to speak clearly, no comprehensible words came out.
"Run to that cottage in the trees, and fetch her a cup of water," said Molly. He hesitated a little.
"Run to that cottage in the trees and get her a cup of water," said Molly. He hesitated for a moment.
"Why don't you go?" said Molly, impatiently.
"Why don't you go?" Molly asked, sounding impatient.
"I have not done speaking to her; you will not leave before I come back?"
"I’m not done talking to her; you aren’t going to leave before I get back, right?"
"No. Don't you see she can't move in this state?"
"No. Can’t you see she can't move like this?"
He went quickly, if reluctantly.
He left fast, though hesitantly.
Cynthia was some time before she could check her sobs enough to speak. At length she said,—"Molly, I do hate him!"
Cynthia took a while before she could calm her sobs enough to talk. Finally, she said, "Molly, I really hate him!"
"But what did he mean by saying you were engaged to him? Don't cry, dear, but tell me; if I can help you I will, but I can't imagine what it all really is."
"But what did he mean when he said you were engaged to him? Don't cry, dear, but please tell me; if I can help you, I will, but I can't understand what this is all about."
"It's too long a story to tell now, and I'm not strong enough. Look! he's coming back. As soon as I can, let us get home."
"It's too long a story to share right now, and I'm not strong enough. Look! He's coming back. As soon as I can, let's head home."
"With all my heart," said Molly.
"With all my heart," Molly said.
He brought the water, and Cynthia drank, and was restored to calmness.
He brought the water, and Cynthia drank it, feeling calm again.
"Now," said Molly, "we had better go home as fast as you can manage it; it's getting dark quickly."
"Now," Molly said, "we should head home as quickly as you can; it's getting dark fast."
If she hoped to carry Cynthia off so easily she was mistaken. Mr. Preston was resolute on this point. He said—
If she thought she could take Cynthia away that easily, she was wrong. Mr. Preston was firm about this. He told—
"I think since Miss Gibson has made herself acquainted with this much, we had better let her know the whole truth—that you are engaged to marry me as soon as you are twenty; otherwise your being here with me, and by appointment too, may appear strange—even equivocal to her."
"I think now that Miss Gibson knows this much, we should tell her the whole truth—that you’re engaged to marry me as soon as you turn twenty; otherwise, your being here with me, especially by appointment, might seem odd—even questionable to her."
"As I know that Cynthia is engaged to—another man, you can hardly expect me to believe what you say, Mr. Preston."
"As I know that Cynthia is engaged to another man, you can hardly expect me to believe what you're saying, Mr. Preston."
"Oh, Molly," said Cynthia, trembling all over, but trying to be calm, "I am not engaged—neither to the person you mean, nor to Mr. Preston."
"Oh, Molly," said Cynthia, shaking all over, but trying to stay calm, "I am not engaged—neither to the person you’re thinking of, nor to Mr. Preston."
Mr. Preston forced a smile. "I think I have some letters that would convince Miss Gibson of the truth of what I have said; and which will convince Mr. Osborne Hamley, if necessary—I conclude it is to him she is alluding."
Mr. Preston forced a smile. "I believe I have some letters that would convince Miss Gibson of the truth of what I've said; and that will convince Mr. Osborne Hamley, if needed—I assume it's him she's referring to."
"I am quite puzzled by you both," said Molly. "The only thing I do know is, that we ought not to be standing here at this time of evening, and that Cynthia and I shall go home directly. If you want to talk to Miss Kirkpatrick, Mr. Preston, why don't you come to my father's house, and ask to see her openly, and like a gentleman?"
"I’m really confused by both of you," Molly said. "The only thing I know for sure is that we shouldn’t be standing here at this time of night, and Cynthia and I are going home right away. If you want to talk to Miss Kirkpatrick, Mr. Preston, why don’t you come to my dad’s house and ask to see her directly, like a gentleman?"
"I am perfectly willing," said he; "I shall only be too glad to explain to Mr. Gibson on what terms I stand in relation to her. If I have not done it sooner, it is because I have yielded to her wishes."
"I’m totally willing," he said; "I’ll be more than happy to explain to Mr. Gibson where I stand with her. If I haven’t done it sooner, it’s because I’ve respected her wishes."
"Pray, pray don't. Molly—you don't know all—you don't know anything about it; you mean well and kindly, I know, but you are only making mischief. I am quite well enough to walk, do let us go; I will tell you all about it when we are at home." She took Molly's arm and tried to hasten her away; but Mr. Preston followed, talking as he walked by their side.
"Please, please don’t. Molly—you have no idea—you don’t know anything about it; I know you mean well and kindly, but you’re just stirring up trouble. I’m perfectly fine to walk, so let’s go; I’ll tell you everything when we’re home." She took Molly’s arm and tried to hurry her away, but Mr. Preston followed, talking as he walked alongside them.
"I do not know what you will say at home; but can you deny that you are my promised wife? Can you deny that it has only been at your earnest request that I have kept the engagement secret so long?" He was unwise—Cynthia stopped, and turned at bay.
"I don't know what you'll say at home, but can you deny that you're my promised wife? Can you deny that I've only kept the engagement a secret for this long because you asked me to?" He was foolish—Cynthia stopped and confronted him.
"Since you will have it out,—since I must speak here, I own that what you say is literally true; that when I was a neglected girl of sixteen, you—whom I believed to be a friend, lent me money at my need, and made me give you a promise of marriage."
"Since we're discussing it—you have to hear me out, I admit that what you say is completely true; when I was a neglected girl of sixteen, you—whom I thought was a friend—lent me money when I needed it, and made me promise to marry you."
"Made you!" said he, laying an emphasis on the first word.
"Got you!" he said, stressing the first word.
Cynthia turned scarlet. "'Made' is not the right word, I confess. I liked you then—you were almost my only friend—and, if it had been a question of immediate marriage, I daresay I should never have objected. But I know you better now; and you have persecuted me so of late, that I tell you once for all (as I have told you before, till I am sick of the very words), that nothing shall ever make me marry you. Nothing! I see there's no chance of escaping exposure and, I daresay, losing my character, and I know losing all the few friends I have."
Cynthia flushed red. "‘Made’ isn’t the right word, I admit. I liked you back then—you were pretty much my only friend—and if it had come down to getting married right away, I probably wouldn’t have complained. But I know you better now; you’ve tormented me so much lately that I’ll tell you once and for all (like I’ve told you before, until I’m tired of saying it) that nothing will ever make me marry you. Nothing! I see there’s no way to avoid exposure and probably ruining my reputation, and I know I’d lose all the few friends I have."
"Never me," said Molly, touched by the wailing tone of despair that Cynthia was falling into.
"Not me," said Molly, moved by the desperate tone that Cynthia was slipping into.
"It is hard," said Mr. Preston. "You may believe all the bad things you like about me, Cynthia, but I don't think you can doubt my real, passionate, disinterested love for you."
"It’s tough," Mr. Preston said. "You can believe all the negative things you want about me, Cynthia, but I don't think you can question my genuine, passionate, selfless love for you."
"I do doubt it," said Cynthia, breaking out with fresh energy. "Ah! when I think of the self-denying affection I have seen—I have known—affection that thought of others before itself—"
"I really doubt it," Cynthia said, suddenly full of energy. "Ah! When I think of the selfless love I've seen—I’ve known—love that put others before itself—"
Mr. Preston broke in at the pause she made. She was afraid of revealing too much to him.
Mr. Preston interrupted the silence she created. She was worried about giving away too much to him.
"You do not call it love which has been willing to wait for years—to be silent while silence was desired—to suffer jealousy and to bear neglect, relying on the solemn promise of a girl of sixteen—for solemn say flimsy, when that girl grows older. Cynthia, I have loved you, and I do love you, and I won't give you up. If you will but keep your word, and marry me, I'll swear I'll make you love me in return."
"You don’t call it love if you're willing to wait for years—being quiet when silence is what’s needed—dealing with jealousy and putting up with neglect, all while trusting the serious promise of a girl who's only sixteen—because what seems serious can feel trivial when that girl gets older. Cynthia, I have loved you, and I still love you, and I won’t give you up. If you just keep your promise and marry me, I swear I’ll make you love me back."
"Oh, I wish—I wish I'd never borrowed that unlucky money, it was the beginning of it all. Oh, Molly, I have saved and scrimped to repay it, and he won't take it now; I thought if I could but repay it, it would set me free."
"Oh, I wish—I wish I had never borrowed that cursed money; it was the start of everything. Oh, Molly, I’ve saved and pinched pennies to pay it back, and he won’t accept it now; I thought if I could just repay it, it would finally set me free."
"You seem to imply you sold yourself for twenty pounds," he said. They were nearly on the common now, close to the protection of the cottages, in very hearing of their inmates; if neither of the other two thought of this, Molly did, and resolved in her mind to call in at one of them, and ask for the labourer's protection home; at any rate his presence must put a stop to this miserable altercation.
"You seem to be suggesting that you sold yourself for twenty pounds," he said. They were almost at the common now, near the safety of the cottages, and could be easily heard by the people inside; if the other two weren't thinking about this, Molly was, and she decided to stop by one of the cottages and ask for the laborer's protection home; at the very least, his presence would quiet this awful argument.
"I did not sell myself; I liked you then. But oh, how I do hate you now!" cried Cynthia, unable to contain her words.
"I didn’t sell myself; I liked you back then. But oh, how I hate you now!" cried Cynthia, unable to hold back her words.
He bowed and turned back, vanishing rapidly down the field staircase. At any rate that was a relief. Yet the two girls hastened on, as if he was still pursuing them. Once, when Molly said something to Cynthia, the latter replied—
He bowed and turned around, quickly disappearing down the field staircase. Either way, that was a relief. Still, the two girls hurried on, as if he was still chasing them. Once, when Molly said something to Cynthia, she responded—
"Molly, if you pity me—if you love me—don't say anything more just now. We shall have to look as if nothing had happened when we get home. Come to my room when we go upstairs to bed, and I'll tell you all. I know you'll blame me terribly, but I will tell you all."
"Molly, if you feel sorry for me—if you care about me—don’t say anything else right now. We need to act like nothing happened when we get home. Come to my room when we go upstairs to bed, and I’ll fill you in on everything. I know you’ll be really upset with me, but I’ll share it all."
So Molly did not say another word till they reached home; and then, comparatively at ease, inasmuch as no one perceived how late was their return to the house, each of the girls went up into their separate rooms, to rest and calm themselves before dressing for the necessary family gathering at dinner. Molly felt as if she were so miserably shaken that she could not have gone down at all, if her own interests only had been at stake. She sate by her dressing-table, holding her head in her hands, her candles unlighted, and the room in soft darkness, trying to still her beating heart, and to recall all she had heard, and what would be its bearing on the lives of those whom she loved. Roger. Oh, Roger!—far away in mysterious darkness of distance—loving as he did (ah, that was love! that was the love to which Cynthia had referred, as worthy of the name!) and the object of his love claimed by another—false to one she must be! How could it be? What would he think and feel if ever he came to know it? It was of no use trying to imagine his pain—that could do no good. What lay before Molly was, to try and extricate Cynthia, if she could help her by thought, or advice, or action; not to weaken herself by letting her fancy run into pictures of possible, probable suffering.
So Molly didn’t say another word until they got home; and then, feeling somewhat more at ease since no one noticed how late they were, each girl went up to her own room to rest and calm down before getting ready for the family dinner. Molly felt so shaken that she could hardly bring herself to go downstairs if it were just for her own sake. She sat by her dressing table, holding her head in her hands, the candles unlit, and the room softly dark, trying to calm her racing heart and remember everything she had heard, thinking about how it would affect the lives of those she loved. Roger. Oh, Roger!—far away in the mysterious distance—loving as he did (ah, that was love! the kind Cynthia described as truly worthy of the name!) and the one he loved was claimed by someone else—she must be false! How could that be? What would he think and feel if he ever found out? Imagining his pain was pointless—it wouldn’t help. What Molly needed to do was focus on helping Cynthia, whether through thoughts, advice, or actions, instead of weakening herself by dwelling on possible suffering.
When she went into the drawing-room before dinner, she found Cynthia and her mother by themselves. There were candles in the room, but they were not lighted, for the wood-fire blazed merrily if fitfully, and they were awaiting Mr. Gibson's return, which might be expected at any minute. Cynthia sate in the shade, so it was only by her sensitive ear that Molly could judge of her state of composure. Mrs. Gibson was telling some of her day's adventures—whom she had found at home in the calls she had been making; who had been out; and the small pieces of news she had heard. To Molly's quick sympathy Cynthia's voice sounded languid and weary, but she made all the proper replies, and expressed the proper interest at the right places, and Molly came to the rescue, chiming in, with an effort, it is true; but Mrs. Gibson was not one to notice slight shades or differences in manner. When Mr. Gibson returned, the relative positions of the parties were altered. It was Cynthia now who raised herself into liveliness, partly from a consciousness that he would have noticed any depression, and partly because Cynthia was one of those natural coquettes, who, from their cradle to their grave, instinctively bring out all their prettiest airs and graces in order to stand well with any man, young or old, who may happen to be present. She listened to his remarks and stories with all the sweet intentness of happier days, till Molly, silent and wondering, could hardly believe that the Cynthia before her was the same girl as she who was sobbing and crying as if her heart would break, but two hours before. It is true she looked pale and heavy-eyed, but that was the only sign she gave of her past trouble, which yet must be a present care, thought Molly. After dinner, Mr. Gibson went out to his town patients; Mrs. Gibson subsided into her arm-chair, holding a sheet of The Times before her, behind which she took a quiet and lady-like doze. Cynthia had a book in one hand, with the other she shaded her eyes from the light. Molly alone could neither read, nor sleep, nor work. She sate in the seat in the bow-window; the blind was not drawn down, for there was no danger of their being overlooked. She gazed into the soft outer darkness, and found herself striving to discern the outlines of objects—the cottage at the end of the garden—the great beech-tree with the seat round it—the wire arches, up which the summer roses had clambered; each came out faint and dim against the dusky velvet of the atmosphere. Presently tea came, and there was the usual nightly bustle. The table was cleared, Mrs. Gibson roused herself, and made the same remark about dear papa that she had done at the same hour for weeks past. Cynthia too did not look different from usual. And yet what a hidden mystery did her calmness hide! thought Molly. At length came bed-time, and the customary little speeches. Both Molly and Cynthia went to their own rooms without exchanging a word. When Molly was in hers she had forgotten whether she was to go to Cynthia, or Cynthia to come to her. She took off her gown and put on her dressing-gown, and stood and waited, and even sat down for a minute or two: but Cynthia did not come, so Molly went and knocked at the opposite door, which, to her surprise, she found shut. When she entered the room Cynthia sate by her dressing-table, just as she had come up from the drawing-room. She had been leaning her head on her arms, and seemed almost to have forgotten the tryst she had made with Molly, for she looked up as if startled, and her face did seem full of worry and distress; in her solitude she made no more exertion, but gave way to thoughts of care.
When Molly walked into the drawing room before dinner, she found Cynthia and her mother alone. The candles were unlit because the wood fire was crackling cheerfully, and they were waiting for Mr. Gibson to return, which could happen at any moment. Cynthia sat in the shadows, so Molly could only gauge her mood by her sensitive ear. Mrs. Gibson was recounting her day's events—who she had visited, who was out, and bits of news she had gathered. To Molly's keen sympathy, Cynthia's voice sounded tired and drained, but she responded appropriately and showed interest where needed. Molly jumped in to help, although it was a struggle; luckily, Mrs. Gibson didn’t notice any subtle differences in demeanor. When Mr. Gibson came back, the dynamics shifted. Cynthia now perked up, partly because she was aware he would notice any sadness, and partly because she was one of those natural flirts who instinctively put on their best behaviors to impress any man present, young or old. She listened to his comments and stories with the same sweet attentiveness as in happier times, leaving Molly silent and puzzled, hardly able to believe that the Cynthia before her was the same girl who had been sobbing just two hours earlier. Although she looked pale and had heavy eyes, that was the only sign of her past grief, which Molly thought must still be a source of concern. After dinner, Mr. Gibson went out to see his patients in town; Mrs. Gibson sank into her armchair, holding a sheet of The Times in front of her, behind which she quietly dozed off like a proper lady. Cynthia held a book in one hand and shaded her eyes from the light with the other. Molly, on the other hand, couldn’t read, sleep, or work. She sat in the bow-window; the blind was up since there was no chance of them being seen. She stared into the soft outer darkness, trying to make out the shapes of objects—the cottage at the end of the garden, the large beech tree with a seat around it, and the wire arches where summer roses had climbed; each one appeared faint and dim against the dark velvet of the evening. Soon tea arrived, bringing the usual nightly hustle. The table was cleared, Mrs. Gibson stirred herself and made the same comment about dear papa that she had made at that time for weeks. Cynthia looked just as she always did. Yet what a hidden mystery lay beneath her calmness! Molly thought. Finally, it was bed-time, followed by the customary little goodnights. Both Molly and Cynthia went to their rooms without a word exchanged. Once in her room, Molly forgot whether she was supposed to go to Cynthia or have Cynthia come to her. She changed out of her gown into her dressing gown and stood waiting, even sitting for a minute or two: but since Cynthia didn’t come, Molly knocked on the opposite door, only to find it closed. When she entered, she saw Cynthia sitting by her dressing table, just as she had been after coming up from the drawing room. Cynthia had been resting her head on her arms and seemed almost to have forgotten her plan to meet Molly; she looked up, startled, and her face showed clear signs of worry and distress, succumbing to her anxious thoughts in her solitude.
CHAPTER XLIII.
CYNTHIA'S CONFESSION.
"You said I might come," said Molly, "and that you would tell me all."
"You said I could come," Molly said, "and that you would tell me everything."
"You know all, I think," said Cynthia, heavily. "Perhaps you don't know what excuses I have, but at any rate you know what a scrape I am in."
"You know everything, I think," said Cynthia, with a sigh. "Maybe you don't know the excuses I have, but at least you know the mess I'm in."
"I've been thinking a great deal," said Molly, timidly and doubtfully. "And I can't help fancying if you told papa—"
"I've been thinking a lot," said Molly, nervously and uncertainly. "And I can't help imagining if you told dad—"
Before she could go on, Cynthia had stood up.
Before she could continue, Cynthia had stood up.
"No!" said she. "That I won't. Unless I'm to leave here at once. And you know I have not another place to go to—without warning, I mean. I daresay my uncle would take me in; he's a relation, and would be bound to stand by me in whatever disgrace I might be; or perhaps I might get a governess's situation—a pretty governess I should be!"
"No!" she said. "I won't do that. Unless I can leave here immediately. And you know I don't have anywhere else to go—without warning, that is. I suppose my uncle would take me in; he's family, and he would have to support me no matter what trouble I might be in; or maybe I could find a job as a governess—a lovely governess I would make!"
"Pray, please, Cynthia, don't go off into such wild talking. I don't believe you've done so very wrong. You say you have not, and I believe you. That horrid man has managed to get you involved in some way; but I am sure papa could set it to rights, if you would only make a friend of him, and tell him all—"
"Please, Cynthia, don't talk so wildly. I don't think you've done anything really wrong. You say you haven't, and I believe you. That horrible man has somehow dragged you into this; but I'm sure Dad could fix it if you would just make him your ally and tell him everything—"
"No, Molly," said Cynthia, "I can't, and there's an end of it. You may if you like, only let me leave the house first; give me that much time."
"No, Molly," Cynthia said, "I can't, and that's final. You can if you want, but just let me leave the house first; give me that much time."
"You know I would never tell anything you wished me not to tell, Cynthia," said Molly, deeply hurt.
"You know I would never share anything you asked me not to share, Cynthia," Molly said, feeling really hurt.
"Would you not, darling?" said Cynthia, taking her hand. "Will you promise me that? quite a sacred promise?—for it would be such a comfort to me to tell you all, now you know so much."
"Would you not, darling?" Cynthia asked, taking her hand. "Will you promise me that? A truly sacred promise?—because it would be such a comfort to me to share everything now that you know so much."
"Yes! I'll promise not to tell. You should not have doubted me," said Molly, still a little sorrowfully.
"Yes! I promise I won't tell. You shouldn't have doubted me," said Molly, still feeling a bit sad.
"Very well. I trust to you. I know I may."
"Alright. I trust you. I know I can."
"But do think of telling papa, and getting him to help you," persevered Molly.
"But seriously consider telling dad and asking him to help you," Molly insisted.
"Never," said Cynthia, resolutely, but more quietly than before. "Do you think I forget what he said at the time of that wretched Mr. Coxe; how severe he was, and how long I was in disgrace, if indeed I'm out of it now? I am one of those people, as mamma says sometimes—I cannot live with persons who don't think well of me. It may be a weakness, or a sin,—I'm sure I don't know, and I don't care; but I really cannot be happy in the same house with any one who knows my faults, and thinks that they are greater than my merits. Now you know your father would do that. I have often told you that he (and you too, Molly,) had a higher standard than I had ever known. Oh, I couldn't bear it; if he were to know he would be so angry with me—he would never get over it, and I have so liked him! I do so like him!"
"Never," Cynthia said firmly, but more softly than before. "Do you think I forget what he said about that awful Mr. Coxe; how harsh he was, and how long I was in trouble, if I’m even out of it now? I'm one of those people, as Mom sometimes says—I can’t live with people who don’t think well of me. It might be a weakness or a flaw—I really don’t know, and I don’t care; but I truly can’t be happy in the same house with anyone who knows my faults and thinks they are worse than my good qualities. Now you know your dad would do that. I’ve told you often that he (and you too, Molly) has a higher standard than I’ve ever known. Oh, I couldn’t stand it; if he were to find out, he would be so mad at me—he’d never get over it, and I really like him! I really do like him!"
"Well, never mind, dear; he shall not know," said Molly, for Cynthia was again becoming hysterical,—"at least, we'll say no more about it now."
"Well, it’s okay, dear; he won’t find out," said Molly, as Cynthia was getting hysterical again, "at least, let’s not talk about it anymore right now."
"And you'll never say any more—never—promise me," said Cynthia, taking her hand eagerly.
"And you'll never say anything more—never—promise me," said Cynthia, taking her hand eagerly.
"Never till you give me leave. Now do let me see if I cannot help you. Lie down on the bed, and I'll sit by you, and let us talk it over."
"Not until you allow me to. Now let me see if I can help you. Lie down on the bed, and I'll sit next to you, and we can talk about it."
But Cynthia sat down again in the chair by the dressing-table.
But Cynthia sat down again in the chair by the vanity.
"When did it all begin?" said Molly, after a long pause of silence.
"When did it all start?" said Molly, after a long silence.
"Long ago—four or five years. I was such a child to be left all to myself. It was the holidays, and mamma was away visiting, and the Donaldsons asked me to go with them to the Worcester Festival. You can't fancy how pleasant it all sounded, especially to me. I had been shut up in that great dreary house at Ashcombe, where mamma had her school; it belonged to Lord Cumnor, and Mr. Preston as his agent had to see it all painted and papered; but, besides that, he was very intimate with us; I believe mamma thought—no, I'm not sure about that, and I have enough blame to lay at her door, to prevent my telling you anything that may be only fancy—"
"Not too long ago—four or five years back. I was just a kid left all alone. It was the holidays, and mom was away visiting, and the Donaldsons invited me to join them at the Worcester Festival. You can't imagine how nice it all sounded, especially to me. I had been stuck in that big, dreary house at Ashcombe, where mom ran her school; it belonged to Lord Cumnor, and Mr. Preston, as his agent, had to make sure it all got painted and wallpapered; but on top of that, he was very close with us. I think mom believed—no, I'm not so sure about that, and I have enough to blame her for, to keep me from telling you anything that might just be fancy
Then she paused and sate still for a minute or two, recalling the past. Molly was struck by the aged and careworn expression which had taken temporary hold of the brilliant and beautiful face; she could see from that how much Cynthia must have suffered from this hidden trouble of hers.
Then she paused and sat still for a minute or two, reflecting on the past. Molly was taken aback by the worn and tired look that had briefly settled on Cynthia's radiant and beautiful face; she could see from that how much Cynthia must have suffered from this hidden pain of hers.
"Well! at any rate we were intimate with him, and he came a great deal about the house, and knew as much as any one of mamma's affairs, and all the ins and outs of her life. I'm telling you this in order that you may understand how natural it was for me to answer his questions when he came one day and found me, not crying, for you know I'm not much given to that, in spite of to-day's exposure of myself; but fretting and fuming because, though mamma had written word I might go with the Donaldsons, she had never said how I was to get any money for the journey, much less for anything of dress, and I had outgrown all my last year's frocks, and as for gloves and boots—in short, I really had hardly clothes decent enough for church—"
"Well! Anyway, we were close with him, and he spent a lot of time at our house, knowing as much as anyone about Mom's business and all the details of her life. I'm sharing this so you can understand how natural it was for me to respond to his questions when he came one day and found me, not crying—since you know I don't really do that much, despite today's emotional moment—but upset because, even though Mom had written that I could go with the Donaldsons, she hadn't mentioned how I was supposed to get any money for the trip, let alone for anything to wear. I had outgrown all my dresses from last year, and as for gloves and boots—in short, I barely had any decent clothes for church"
"Why didn't you write to her and tell her all this?" said Molly, half afraid of appearing to cast blame by her very natural question.
"Why didn't you write to her and tell her all this?" Molly asked, a bit worried that her completely natural question might come off as blaming.
"I wish I had her letter to show you; you must have seen some of mamma's letters, though; don't you know how she always seems to leave out just the important point of every fact? In this case she descanted largely on the enjoyment she was having, and the kindness she was receiving, and her wish that I could have been with her, and her gladness that I too was going to have some pleasure; but the only thing that would have been of real use to me she left out, and that was where she was going to next. She mentioned that she was leaving the house she was stopping at the day after she wrote, and that she should be at home by a certain date; but I got the letter on a Saturday, and the festival began the next Tuesday—"
"I wish I had her letter to show you; you must have seen some of Mom's letters, though; don't you know how she always seems to miss the most important part of every fact? In this case, she went on and on about how much fun she was having, the kindness she was receiving, her wish that I could be with her, and her happiness that I was going to have some fun too; but the only thing that would have really helped me, she left out, which was where she was going next. She mentioned that she was leaving the place she was staying at the day after she wrote, and that she'd be home by a certain date; but I got the letter on a Saturday, and the festival started the next Tuesday—"
"Poor Cynthia!" said Molly. "Still, if you had written, your letter might have been forwarded. I don't mean to be hard, only I do so dislike the thought of your ever having made a friend of that man."
"Poor Cynthia!" said Molly. "But if you had written, your letter could have been forwarded. I don’t mean to be harsh, but I really dislike the idea of you ever having become friends with that guy."
"Ah!" said Cynthia, sighing. "How easy it is to judge rightly after one sees what evil comes from judging wrongly! I was only a young girl, hardly more than a child, and he was a friend to us then—excepting mamma, the only friend I knew; the Donaldsons were only kind and good-natured acquaintances."
"Ah!" Cynthia sighed. "It’s so easy to make the right judgment once you see the harm that comes from judging incorrectly! I was just a young girl, barely more than a child, and he was a friend to us back then—besides mom, he was the only friend I had; the Donaldsons were just nice and pleasant acquaintances."
"I am sorry," said Molly, humbly, "I have been so happy with papa. I hardly can understand how different it must have been with you."
"I’m sorry," Molly said, humbly, "I’ve been so happy with Dad. I can hardly imagine how different it must have been for you."
"Different! I should think so. The worry about money made me sick of my life. We might not say we were poor, it would have injured the school; but I would have stinted and starved if mamma and I had got on as happily together as we might have done—as you and Mr. Gibson do. It was not the poverty; it was that she never seemed to care to have me with her. As soon as the holidays came round she was off to some great house or another; and I daresay I was at a very awkward age to have me lounging about in the drawing-room when callers came. Girls at the age I was then are so terribly keen at scenting out motives, and putting in their disagreeable questions as to the little twistings and twirlings and vanishings of conversation; they've no distinct notion of what are the truths and falsehoods of polite life. At any rate, I was very much in mamma's way, and I felt it. Mr. Preston seemed to feel it too for me; and I was very grateful to him for kind words and sympathetic looks—crumbs of kindness which would have dropped under your table unnoticed. So this day, when he came to see how the workmen were getting on, he found me in the deserted schoolroom, looking at my faded summer bonnet and some old ribbons I had been sponging, and half-worn-out gloves—a sort of rag-fair spread out on the deal table. I was in a regular passion with only looking at that shabbiness. He said he was so glad to hear I was going to this festival with the Donaldsons; old Betty, our servant, had told him the news, I believe. But I was so perplexed about money, and my vanity was so put out about my shabby dress, that I was in a pet, and said I shouldn't go. He sate down on the table, and little by little he made me tell him all my troubles. I do sometimes think he was very nice in those days. Somehow I never felt as if it was wrong or foolish or anything to accept his offer of money at the time. He had twenty pounds in his pocket, he said, and really didn't know what to do with it,—shouldn't want it for months; I could repay it, or rather mamma could, when it suited her. She must have known I should want money, and most likely thought I should apply to him. Twenty pounds wouldn't be too much, I must take it all, and so on. I knew—at least I thought I knew—that I should never spend twenty pounds; but I thought I could give him back what I didn't want, and so—well, that was the beginning! It doesn't sound so very wrong, does it, Molly?"
"Different! I would think so. Worrying about money made me sick of my life. We might not say we were poor; it would have hurt the school. But I would have struggled and gone without if mom and I had gotten along as happily as we could have—like you and Mr. Gibson do. It wasn’t the poverty; it was that she never seemed to want me around. As soon as the holidays came, she would be off to some grand house or another; and I guess I was at a very awkward age to have me hanging around in the drawing room when visitors came. Girls at my age are so good at sensing motives and asking those annoying questions about the little twists and turns of conversation; they don’t really grasp the truths and lies of polite society. At any rate, I was definitely in mom's way, and I felt it. Mr. Preston seemed to feel it too; I was really grateful to him for his kind words and sympathetic looks—little bits of kindness that would have gone unnoticed under your table. So that day, when he came to see how the workers were doing, he found me in the empty classroom, looking at my faded summer hat and some old ribbons I had been cleaning, along with some worn-out gloves—basically a pile of junk on the table. I was really mad just looking at that mess. He said he was so glad to hear I was going to the festival with the Donaldsons; old Betty, our servant, had told him the news, I think. But I was so worried about money, and my pride was hurt about my shabby dress, that I was in a huff and said I wouldn’t go. He sat down on the table, and little by little, he got me to share all my troubles. Sometimes I think he was really nice back then. Somehow, I never felt like it was wrong or silly to accept his offer of money at that time. He had twenty pounds in his pocket, he said, and really didn’t know what to do with it—wouldn’t need it for months; I could pay him back, or actually, mom could, when it suited her. She must have known I would need money and probably thought I would ask him. Twenty pounds wouldn’t be too much; I should take it all, and so on. I knew—at least I thought I knew—that I would never spend twenty pounds; but I thought I could give him back whatever I didn’t need, and so—well, that was the beginning! It doesn’t sound that wrong, does it, Molly?"
"No," said Molly, hesitatingly. She did not wish to make herself into a hard judge, and yet she did so dislike Mr. Preston. Cynthia went on,—
"No," Molly said hesitantly. She didn't want to come off as a harsh judge, but she really disliked Mr. Preston. Cynthia continued—
"Well, what with boots and gloves, and a bonnet and a mantle, and a white muslin gown, which was made for me before I left on Tuesday, and a silk gown that followed to the Donaldsons', and my journeys, and all, there was very little left of the twenty pounds, especially when I found I must get a ball-dress in Worcester, for we were all to go to the Ball. Mrs. Donaldson gave me my ticket, but she rather looked grave at my idea of going to the Ball in my white muslin, which I had already worn two evenings at their house. Oh dear! how pleasant it must be to be rich! You know," continued Cynthia, smiling a very little, "I can't help being aware that I'm pretty, and that people admire me very much. I found it out first at the Donaldsons'. I began to think I did look pretty in my fine new clothes, and I saw that other people thought so too. I was certainly the belle of the house, and it was very pleasant to feel my power. The last day or two of that gay week Mr. Preston joined our party. The last time he had seen me was when I was dressed in shabby clothes too small for me, half-crying in my solitude, neglected and penniless. At the Donaldsons' I was a little queen; and as I said, fine feathers make fine birds, and all the people were making much of me; and at that Ball, which was the first night he came, I had more partners than I knew what to do with. I suppose he really did fall in love with me then. I don't think he had done so before. And then I began to feel how awkward it was to be in his debt. I couldn't give myself airs to him as I did to others. Oh! it was so awkward and uncomfortable! But I liked him, and felt him as a friend all the time. The last day I was walking in the garden along with the others, and I thought I would tell him how much I had enjoyed myself, and how happy I had been, all thanks to his twenty pounds (I was beginning to feel like Cinderella when the clock was striking twelve), and to tell him it should be repaid to him as soon as possible, though I turned sick at the thought of telling mamma, and knew enough of our affairs to understand how very difficult it would be to muster up the money. The end of our talk came very soon; for, almost to my terror, he began to talk violent love to me, and to beg me to promise to marry him. I was so frightened, that I ran away to the others. But that night I got a letter from him, apologizing for startling me, renewing his offer, his entreaties for a promise of marriage, to be fulfilled at any date I would please to name—in fact, a most urgent love-letter, and in it a reference to my unlucky debt, which was to be a debt no longer, only an advance of the money to be hereafter mine if only— You can fancy it all, Molly, better than I can remember it to tell it you."
"Well, with boots and gloves, a bonnet and a cloak, and a white muslin dress that was made for me before I left on Tuesday, as well as a silk gown I got over at the Donaldsons', along with all my travels, there wasn’t much left of the twenty pounds, especially when I realized I needed to buy a ball gown in Worcester since we were all going to the Ball. Mrs. Donaldson gave me my ticket, but she looked a bit serious about my idea of wearing my white muslin, which I had already worn two evenings at their house. Oh dear! It must be so nice to be rich! You know," Cynthia continued, smiling just a bit, "I can't help but notice that I'm pretty and that people really admire me. I first figured it out at the Donaldsons'. I started to think I did look good in my nice new clothes, and I could see that others thought so too. I was definitely the belle of the house, and it felt great to have that power. In the last couple of days of that fun week, Mr. Preston joined our group. The last time he had seen me, I was in shabby clothes that were too small for me, half-crying in my solitude—neglected and broke. At the Donaldsons’, I felt like a little queen; as I said, fine feathers make fine birds, and everyone was paying attention to me. At that Ball, which was the first night he came, I had more dance partners than I knew what to do with. I think he really did fall in love with me then; I don’t believe he had before. And then I started to feel how awkward it was to owe him. I couldn’t act superior to him like I did with others. Oh! It was so awkward and uncomfortable! But I liked him, and I felt like he was a friend the whole time. On the last day, I was walking in the garden with the others, and I thought I’d tell him how much I had enjoyed myself and how happy I had been, all thanks to his twenty pounds (I was starting to feel like Cinderella when the clock was striking twelve), and I wanted to tell him I’d repay him as soon as possible, even though I felt sick at the thought of telling my mom and knew enough about our finances to understand how hard it would be to come up with the money. Our conversation ended pretty quickly; to my surprise, he started talking to me about love and begged me to promise to marry him. I was so scared that I ran off to join the others. But that night, I got a letter from him, apologizing for startling me, renewing his proposal, and urging me to promise to marry him, anytime I wanted—in fact, it was a very passionate love letter, and it even mentioned my unfortunate debt, which would no longer be a debt, just an advance on money that would be mine later if just— You can imagine it all, Molly, better than I can remember to tell you."
"And what did you say?" asked Molly, breathless.
"And what did you say?" Molly asked, out of breath.
"I did not answer it at all until another letter came, entreating for a reply. By that time mamma had come home, and the old daily pressure and plaint of poverty had come on. Mary Donaldson wrote to me often, singing the praises of Mr. Preston as enthusiastically as if she had been bribed to do it. I had seen him a very popular man in their set, and I liked him well enough, and felt grateful to him. So I wrote and gave him my promise to marry him when I was twenty, but it was to be a secret till then. And I tried to forget I had ever borrowed money of him, but somehow as soon as I felt pledged to him I began to hate him. I couldn't endure his eagerness of greeting if ever he found me alone; and mamma began to suspect, I think. I cannot tell you all the ins and outs; in fact, I didn't understand them at the time, and I don't remember clearly how it all happened now. But I know that Lady Cuxhaven sent mamma some money to be applied to my education, as she called it; and mamma seemed very much put out and in very low spirits, and she and I didn't get on at all together. So, of course, I never ventured to name the hateful twenty pounds to her, but went on trying to think that if I was to marry Mr. Preston, it need never be paid—very mean and wicked, I daresay; but oh, Molly, I've been punished for it, for how I abhor that man."
I didn't respond at all until another letter showed up, begging for a reply. By then, Mom had come home, and the usual stress about money was back. Mary Donaldson wrote to me a lot, praising Mr. Preston as if she had been paid to do it. I had seen that he was quite popular in their circle, and I liked him enough and felt thankful to him. So I wrote back and promised to marry him when I turned twenty, but it had to be a secret until then. I tried to forget that I had ever borrowed money from him, but somehow, as soon as I felt committed to him, I started to hate him. I couldn't stand how eagerly he greeted me whenever he found me alone; and I think Mom began to suspect something. I can't explain all the details; honestly, I didn’t understand them then, and I don’t remember everything clearly now. But I know Lady Cuxhaven sent Mom some money for my education, as she put it; and Mom seemed really upset and in a bad mood, and we didn't get along at all. So, of course, I never dared to bring up that annoying twenty pounds with her, but I kept trying to convince myself that if I was going to marry Mr. Preston, it would never have to be paid back—very selfish and wrong, I know; but oh, Molly, I've been punished for it, because I can't stand that man.
"But why? When did you begin to dislike him? You seem to have taken it very passively all this time."
"But why? When did you start to dislike him? You’ve seemed really indifferent about it all this time."
"I don't know. It was growing upon me before I went to that school at Boulogne. He made me feel as if I was in his power; and by too often reminding me of my engagement to him, he made me critical of his words and ways. There was an insolence in his manner to mamma, too. Ah! you're thinking that I'm not too respectful a daughter—and perhaps not; but I couldn't bear his covert sneers at her faults, and I hated his way of showing what he called his 'love' for me. Then, after I had been a semestre at Mdme. Lefevre's, a new English girl came—a cousin of his, who knew but little of me. Now, Molly, you must forget as soon as I've told you what I'm going to say; and she used to talk so much and perpetually about her cousin Robert—he was the great man of the family, evidently—and how he was so handsome, and every lady of the land in love with him,—a lady of title into the bargain."
"I don’t know. It was starting to bother me before I went to that school in Boulogne. He made me feel like he had control over me, and by constantly reminding me of my engagement to him, he made me overly critical of what he said and how he acted. There was a certain arrogance in the way he treated my mom, too. Ah! You might think I’m not a very respectful daughter—and maybe I’m not; but I couldn’t stand his sneaky jabs at her shortcomings, and I despised his way of showing what he called his 'love' for me. Then, after I had spent a semester at Madame Lefevre's, a new English girl showed up—a cousin of his, who didn’t know much about me. Now, Molly, you have to forget what I’m about to tell you as soon as I say it; she used to talk endlessly about her cousin Robert—he was clearly the star of the family—and how he was so handsome, with every single lady of the land in love with him, including a lady of title to boot."
"Lady Harriet! I daresay," said Molly, indignantly.
"Lady Harriet! I can't believe it," said Molly, angrily.
"I don't know," said Cynthia, wearily. "I didn't care at the time, and I don't care now; for she went on to say there was a very pretty widow too, who made desperate love to him. He had often laughed with them at all her little advances, which she thought he didn't see through. And, oh! and this was the man I had promised to marry, and gone into debt to, and written love-letters to! So now you understand it all, Molly."
"I don't know," Cynthia said tiredly. "I didn't care back then, and I don't care now; she also mentioned there was a very attractive widow who was really pursuing him. He would often laugh with them at all her little attempts, thinking he didn’t notice. And, oh! This was the man I promised to marry, went into debt for, and wrote love letters to! So now you get it all, Molly."
"No, I don't yet. What did you do on hearing how he had spoken about your mother?"
"No, not yet. How did you feel when you heard what he said about your mom?"
"There was but one thing to do. I wrote and told him I hated him, and would never, never marry him, and would pay him back his money and the interest on it as soon as ever I could."
"There was only one thing to do. I wrote and told him I hated him, would never, ever marry him, and would pay him back his money and the interest on it as soon as I could."
"Well?"
"What's up?"
"And Mdme. Lefevre brought me back my letter,—unopened, I will say; and told me that she didn't allow letters to gentlemen to be sent by the pupils of her establishment unless she had previously seen their contents. I told her he was a family friend, the agent who managed mamma's affairs—I really could not stick at the truth; but she wouldn't let it go; and I had to see her burn it, and to give her my promise I wouldn't write again before she would consent not to tell mamma. So I had to calm down and wait till I came home."
"And Mrs. Lefevre returned my letter to me—unopened, I should add; and she told me that she didn't allow letters to gentlemen to be sent by the students of her school unless she had seen their contents first. I explained that he was a family friend, the agent who managed my mom's affairs—I really couldn’t bring myself to lie; but she wouldn’t accept that, and I had to watch her burn it and promise her I wouldn’t write again before she agreed not to tell my mom. So I had to chill out and wait until I got home."
"But you didn't see him then; at least, not for some time?"
"But you didn't see him back then; at least, not for a while?"
"No, but I could write; and I began to try and save up my money to pay him."
"No, but I could write; and I started to save up my money to pay him."
"What did he say to your letter?"
"What did he say about your letter?"
"Oh, at first he pretended not to believe I could be in earnest; he thought it was only pique, or a temporary offence to be apologized for and covered over with passionate protestations."
"Oh, at first he acted like he couldn’t believe I was serious; he thought it was just irritation, or a fleeting offense that could be smoothed over with intense declarations."
"And afterwards?"
"And then?"
"He condescended to threats; and, what is worse, then I turned coward. I couldn't bear to have it all known and talked about, and my silly letters shown—oh, such letters! I cannot bear to think of them, beginning, 'My dearest Robert,' to that man—"
"He resorted to threats; and, even worse, I ended up acting like a coward. I couldn't stand the thought of everything being revealed and discussed, and my embarrassing letters being shared—oh, those letters! I can't stand to think about them, starting with, 'My dearest Robert,' to that man—
"But, oh, Cynthia, how could you go and engage yourself to Roger?" asked Molly.
"But, oh, Cynthia, how could you get engaged to Roger?" asked Molly.
"Why not?" said Cynthia, sharply turning round upon her. "I was free—I am free; it seemed a way of assuring myself that I was quite free; and I did like Roger—it was such a comfort to be brought into contact with people who could be relied upon; and I was not a stock or a stone that I could fail to be touched with his tender, unselfish love, so different to Mr. Preston's. I know you don't think me good enough for him; and, of course, if all this comes out, he won't think me good enough either" (falling into a plaintive tone very touching to hear); "and sometimes I think I'll give him up, and go off to some fresh life amongst strangers; and once or twice I've thought I would marry Mr. Preston out of pure revenge, and have him for ever in my power—only I think I should have the worst of it; for he is cruel in his very soul—tigerish, with his beautiful striped skin and relentless heart. I have so begged and begged him to let me go without exposure."
"Why not?" Cynthia asked, turning sharply to face her. "I was free—I am free; it felt like a way to prove to myself that I was really free; and I did like Roger—it was such a relief to be around people I could trust; and I’m not a robot or a stone—I couldn’t help but be moved by his gentle, selfless love, so different from Mr. Preston's. I know you don’t think I'm good enough for him; and of course, if all this comes out, he won’t think I'm good enough either" (falling into a tone that was very touching to hear); "sometimes I think I should just give him up and start fresh somewhere with strangers; and a couple of times I’ve considered marrying Mr. Preston just out of pure revenge, so I could have him under my control forever—but I think I’d end up worse off; he’s cruel to the core—like a tiger, with his beautiful striped skin and merciless heart. I’ve begged him again and again to let me go without causing a scene."
"Never mind the exposure," said Molly. "It will recoil far more on him than harm you."
"Don't worry about the exposure," Molly said. "It's going to affect him way more than it will harm you."
Cynthia went a little paler. "But I said things in those letters about mamma. I was quick-eyed enough to all her faults, and hardly understood the force of her temptations; and he says he will show those letters to your father, unless I consent to acknowledge our engagement."
Cynthia went a bit pale. "But I mentioned things in those letters about mom. I noticed all her faults, but I barely understood the extent of her struggles; and he says he will show those letters to your dad unless I agree to acknowledge our engagement."
"He shall not!" said Molly, rising up in her indignation, and standing before Cynthia almost as resolutely fierce as if she were in the very presence of Mr. Preston himself. "I am not afraid of him. He dare not insult me, or if he does I don't care. I will ask him for those letters, and see if he will dare to refuse me."
"He won't!" said Molly, standing up in her anger and facing Cynthia with a fierce determination, as if she were before Mr. Preston himself. "I'm not scared of him. He wouldn't dare insult me, and if he does, I won't care. I'm going to ask him for those letters and see if he has the nerve to refuse me."
"You don't know him," said Cynthia, shaking her head. "He has made many an appointment with me, just as if he would take back the money—which has been sealed up ready for him this four months; or as if he would give me back my letters. Poor, poor Roger! How little he thinks of all this! When I want to write words of love to him I pull myself up, for I have written words as affectionate to that other man. And if Mr. Preston ever guessed that Roger and I were engaged, he would manage to be revenged on both him and me, by giving us as much pain as he could with those unlucky letters—written when I was not sixteen, Molly,—only seven of them! They are like a mine under my feet, which may blow up any day; and down will come father and mother and all." She ended bitterly enough, though her words were so light.
"You don't know him," Cynthia said, shaking her head. "He has made so many appointments with me, acting like he would actually take back the money—which has been set aside for him for four months—or like he would return my letters. Poor, poor Roger! He has no idea about any of this! When I want to write loving words to him, I hold back because I have written just as affectionate words to that other guy. And if Mr. Preston ever figured out that Roger and I were engaged, he would find a way to get back at both of us, causing as much pain as he could with those unfortunate letters—written when I was not even sixteen, Molly—just seven of them! They feel like a mine beneath my feet, ready to explode at any moment; and down will come my dad and mom and everyone else." She finished with a bitter tone, even though her words seemed so carefree.
"How can I get them?" said Molly, thinking: "for get them I will. With papa to back me, he dare not refuse."
"How can I get them?" said Molly, thinking, "I'll definitely get them. With dad supporting me, he won't dare say no."
"Ah! But that's just the thing. He knows I'm afraid of your father's hearing of it all, more than of any one else."
"Ah! But that's exactly the point. He knows I'm more afraid of your dad finding out about all this than anyone else."
"And yet he thinks he loves you!"
"And yet he thinks he loves you!"
"It is his way of loving. He says often enough he doesn't care what he does so that he gets me to be his wife; and that after that he is sure he can make me love him." Cynthia began to cry, out of weariness of body and despair of mind. Molly's arms were round her in a minute, and she pressed the beautiful head to her bosom, and laid her own cheek upon it, and hushed her up with lulling words, just as if Cynthia were a little child.
"It’s how he loves. He often says he doesn’t care what he has to do to make me his wife; after that, he’s sure he can make me love him." Cynthia started to cry, exhausted both physically and mentally. Molly wrapped her arms around her in an instant, pressing the beautiful head against her chest, resting her own cheek on it, and soothing her with comforting words, just like she would for a little child.
"Oh, it is such a comfort to have told you all!" murmured Cynthia. And Molly made reply,—"I am sure we have right on our side; and that makes me certain he must and shall give up the letters."
"Oh, it feels so good to have told you everything!" Cynthia murmured. And Molly replied, "I'm sure we are in the right; and that makes me confident he will give up the letters."
"And take the money?" added Cynthia, lifting her head, and looking eagerly into Molly's face. "He must take the money. Oh, Molly, you can never manage it all without its coming out to your father! And I would far rather go out to Russia as a governess. I almost think I would rather—no, not that," said she, shuddering away from what she was going to say. "But he must not know—please, Molly, he must not know. I couldn't bear it. I don't know what I might not do. You'll promise me never to tell him,—or mamma?"
"And take the money?" added Cynthia, raising her head and looking eagerly into Molly's face. "He has to take the money. Oh, Molly, you can never handle it all without it getting back to your father! And I would much rather go to Russia as a governess. I almost think I'd prefer that—no, not that," she said, shuddering at what she was about to say. "But he must not find out—please, Molly, he must not find out. I couldn't handle it. I don't know what I might do. Promise me you'll never tell him—or Mom?”
"I never will. You do not think I would for anything short of saving—" She was going to have said, "saving you and Roger from pain." But Cynthia broke in,—
"I never will. You don't think I would for anything less than saving— She was about to say, "saving you and Roger from pain." But Cynthia interrupted in—
"For nothing. No reason whatever must make you tell your father. If you fail, you fail, and I will love you for ever for trying; but I shall be no worse off than before. Better, indeed; for I shall have the comfort of your sympathy. But promise me not to tell Mr. Gibson."
"For no reason at all should you tell your father. If you fail, you fail, and I will love you forever for trying; but I won’t be any worse off than before. In fact, it’ll be better because I’ll have the comfort of your support. But promise me you won’t tell Mr. Gibson."
"I have promised once," said Molly, "but I promise again; so now do go to bed, and try and rest. You are looking as white as a sheet; you'll be ill if you don't get some rest; and it's past two o'clock, and you're shivering with cold."
"I promised once," said Molly, "but I’m saying it again; so please go to bed and try to get some rest. You’re looking as pale as a ghost; you’ll get sick if you don’t rest up, and it’s past two o’clock, and you’re shaking from the cold."
So they wished each other good-night. But when Molly got into her room all her spirit left her; and she threw herself down on her bed, dressed as she was, for she had no heart left for anything. If Roger ever heard of it all by any chance, she felt how it would disturb his love for Cynthia. And yet was it right to conceal it from him? She must try and persuade Cynthia to tell it all straight out to him as soon as he returned to England. A full confession on her part would wonderfully lessen any pain he might have on first hearing of it. She lost herself in thoughts of Roger—how he would feel, what he would say, how that meeting would come to pass, where he was at that very time, and so on, till she suddenly plucked herself up, and recollected what she herself had offered and promised to do. Now that the first fervour was over, she saw the difficulties clearly; and the foremost of all was how she was to manage to have an interview with Mr. Preston. How had Cynthia managed? and the letters that had passed between them too? Unwillingly, Molly was compelled to perceive that there must have been a great deal of underhand work going on beneath Cynthia's apparent openness of behaviour; and still more unwillingly she began to be afraid that she herself might be led into the practice. But she would try and walk in a straight path; and if she did wander out of it, it should only be to save pain to those whom she loved.
So they wished each other goodnight. But when Molly got to her room, all her energy drained away, and she threw herself onto her bed, still fully dressed, because she had no heart for anything. If Roger ever found out about it, she felt it would shake his love for Cynthia. But was it right to keep it from him? She needed to convince Cynthia to tell him everything straight away as soon as he got back to England. A complete confession from her would really ease any pain he might feel when he first heard about it. She got lost in thoughts about Roger—how he would feel, what he would say, how their meeting would unfold, where he was at that moment, and so on, until she suddenly snapped out of it and remembered what she had promised to do. Now that the initial excitement was over, she clearly saw the challenges ahead; the biggest one was figuring out how to have a meeting with Mr. Preston. How had Cynthia done it? And what about the letters that had been exchanged? Reluctantly, Molly had to acknowledge that there had been a lot of scheming going on beneath Cynthia's seemingly open behavior; and even more reluctantly, she started to fear that she might be drawn into that as well. But she was determined to stick to a straightforward path, and if she did stray, it would only be to spare those she loved from pain.
CHAPTER XLIV.
MOLLY GIBSON TO THE RESCUE.
It seemed curious enough, after the storms of the night, to meet in smooth tranquillity at breakfast. Cynthia was pale; but she talked as quietly as usual about all manner of indifferent things, while Molly sate silent, watching and wondering, and becoming convinced that Cynthia must have gone through a long experience of concealing her real thoughts and secret troubles before she could have been able to put on such a semblance of composure. Among the letters that came in that morning was one from the London Kirkpatricks; but not from Helen, Cynthia's own particular correspondent. Her sister wrote to apologize for Helen, who was not well, she said: had had the influenza, which had left her very weak and poorly.
It felt pretty strange, after the storms of the night, to gather at breakfast in such calmness. Cynthia looked pale, but she chatted quietly as usual about all sorts of unimportant topics, while Molly sat in silence, watching and wondering, becoming more and more convinced that Cynthia must have gone through a long process of hiding her true feelings and secret worries to manage such a facade of calm. Among the letters that arrived that morning was one from the London Kirkpatricks, but it wasn’t from Helen, Cynthia's regular correspondent. Her sister wrote to apologize for Helen, saying she wasn’t doing well—she had the flu, which had left her feeling very weak and unwell.
"Let her come down here for change of air," said Mr. Gibson. "The country at this time of the year is better than London, except when the place is surrounded by trees. Now our house is well drained, high up, gravel-soil, and I'll undertake to doctor her for nothing."
"Let her come down here for a change of scenery," Mr. Gibson said. "The countryside this time of year is better than London, except when the area is surrounded by trees. Our house is well-drained, high up, with gravel soil, and I’ll take care of her for free."
"It would be charming," said Mrs. Gibson, rapidly revolving in her mind the changes necessary in her household economy before receiving a young lady accustomed to such a household as Mr. Kirkpatrick's,—calculating the consequent inconveniences, and weighing them against the probable advantages, even while she spoke. "Should not you like it, Cynthia? and Molly too? You then, dear, would become acquainted with one of the girls, and I have no doubt you would be asked back again, which would be so very nice!"
"It would be lovely," said Mrs. Gibson, quickly thinking through the adjustments she’d need to make in her household before welcoming a young lady used to a home like Mr. Kirkpatrick's—considering the inconveniences that would arise and balancing them against the potential benefits, even as she spoke. "Wouldn't you like it, Cynthia? And you too, Molly? Then, dear, you would get to know one of the girls, and I'm sure you'd be invited back, which would be really nice!"
"And I shouldn't let her go," said Mr. Gibson, who had acquired an unfortunate facility of reading his wife's thoughts.
"And I shouldn't let her go," said Mr. Gibson, who had unfortunately become good at reading his wife's thoughts.
"Dear Helen!" went on Mrs. Gibson, "I should so like to nurse her! We would make your consulting-room into her own private sitting-room, my dear."—(It is hardly necessary to say that the scales had been weighed down by the inconveniences of having a person behind the scenes for several weeks). "For with an invalid so much depends on tranquillity. In the drawing-room, for instance, she might constantly be disturbed by callers; and the dining-room is so—so what shall I call it? so dinnery,—the smell of meals never seems to leave it; it would have been different if dear papa had allowed me to throw out that window—"
"Dear Helen!" continued Mrs. Gibson, "I would really love to take care of her! We could turn your consulting room into her own private sitting area, my dear."—(It's hardly necessary to mention that the situation had been complicated by having someone behind the scenes for several weeks). "With an invalid, so much relies on peace and quiet. In the living room, for example, she could be constantly disturbed by visitors; and the dining room is so—what should I say?—so dinner-like, the smell of food never seems to go away; it would have been different if dear dad had let me take out that window
"Why can't she have the dressing-room for her bedroom, and the little room opening out of the drawing-room for her sitting-room?" asked Mr. Gibson.
"Why can't she have the dressing room for her bedroom and the small room connecting to the living room for her sitting room?" asked Mr. Gibson.
"The library," for by this name Mrs. Gibson chose to dignify what had formerly been called the book-closet—"why, it would hardly hold a sofa, besides the books and the writing-table; and there are draughts everywhere. No, my dear, we had better not ask her at all, her own home is comfortable at any rate!"
"The library," as Mrs. Gibson decided to call what used to be known as the book-closet—"well, it wouldn’t even fit a sofa, along with the books and the writing table; and there are drafts everywhere. No, my dear, it’s better if we don’t invite her at all; her own home is comfortable anyway!"
"Well, well!" said Mr. Gibson, seeing that he was to be worsted, and not caring enough about the matter to show fight. "Perhaps you're right. It's a case of luxury versus fresh air. Some people suffer more from want of the one than from want of the other. You know I shall be glad to see her if she likes to come, and take us as we are, but I can't give up the consulting-room. It's a necessity; our daily bread!"
"Well, well!" said Mr. Gibson, realizing he was going to lose, and not caring enough to argue. "Maybe you're right. It's a choice between comfort and fresh air. Some people struggle more without one than the other. You know I'd be happy to see her if she wants to come and accept us as we are, but I can't give up the consulting room. It's essential; it’s our livelihood!"
"I'll write and tell them how kind Mr. Gibson is," said his wife in high contentment, as her husband left the room. "They'll be just as much obliged to him as if she had come!"
"I'll write and tell them how nice Mr. Gibson is," his wife said happily as her husband walked out of the room. "They'll appreciate him just as much as if she had come!"
Whether it was Helen's illness, or from some other cause, after breakfast Cynthia became very flat and absent, and this lasted all day long. Molly understood now why her moods had been so changeable for many months, and was tender and forbearing with her accordingly. Towards evening, when the two girls were left alone, Cynthia came and stood over Molly, so that her face could not be seen.
Whether it was Helen's illness or something else, after breakfast Cynthia became really flat and distant, and this lasted all day. Molly now understood why Cynthia's moods had been so unpredictable for many months and was kind and patient with her as a result. Towards evening, when the two girls were alone, Cynthia came and stood over Molly, so her face couldn't be seen.
"Molly," said she, "will you do it? Will you do what you said last night? I've been thinking of it all day, and sometimes I believe he would give you back the letters if you asked him; he might fancy—at any rate it's worth trying, if you don't very much dislike it."
"Molly," she said, "will you do it? Will you do what you said last night? I've been thinking about it all day, and sometimes I think he would give you back the letters if you asked him; he might like the idea—at least it’s worth a shot, if you don’t really hate it."
Now it so happened that with every thought she had given to it, Molly disliked the idea of the proposed interview with Mr. Preston more and more; but it was, after all, her own offer, and she neither could nor would draw back from it; it might do good; she did not see how it could possibly do harm. So she gave her consent, and tried to conceal her distaste, which grew upon her more and more as Cynthia hastily arranged the details.
Now, Molly found herself disliking the idea of the proposed interview with Mr. Preston more and more with each thought she had about it. However, it was her own offer, and she couldn't back out of it; it might be beneficial, and she couldn't see how it could possibly cause any harm. So she agreed and tried to hide her dislike, which only grew stronger as Cynthia quickly sorted out the details.
"You shall meet him in the avenue leading from the park lodge up to the Towers. He can come in one way from the Towers, where he has often business—he has pass-keys everywhere—you can go in as we have often done by the lodge—you need not go far."
"You will meet him on the path that goes from the park lodge up to the Towers. He can enter from the Towers, where he often has business—he has master keys everywhere—you can go in like we’ve done before through the lodge—you don’t have to go far."
It did strike Molly that Cynthia must have had some experience in making all these arrangements; and she ventured to ask how he was to be informed of all this. Cynthia only reddened and replied, "Oh! never mind! He will only be too glad to come; you heard him say he wished to discuss the affair more; it is the first time the appointment has come from my side. If I can but once be free—oh, Molly, I will love you, and be grateful to you all my life!"
It occurred to Molly that Cynthia must have some experience in making all these plans, so she asked how he would be informed about everything. Cynthia just blushed and said, "Oh! Never mind! He'll be more than happy to come; you heard him say he wanted to talk about it more. This is the first time I've suggested an appointment. If I can just be free for once—oh, Molly, I will love you and be grateful to you for the rest of my life!"
Molly thought of Roger, and that thought prompted her next speech.
Molly thought about Roger, and that thought inspired her next speech.
"It must be horrible—I think I'm very brave—but I don't think I could have—could have accepted even Roger, with a half-cancelled engagement hanging over me." She blushed as she spoke.
"It must be terrible—I like to think of myself as very brave—but I don’t think I could have—could have accepted even Roger, with a partially canceled engagement looming over me." She blushed as she spoke.
"You forget how I detest Mr. Preston!" said Cynthia. "It was that, more than any excess of love for Roger, that made me thankful to be at least as securely pledged to some one else. He did not want to call it an engagement, but I did; because it gave me the feeling of assurance that I was free from Mr. Preston. And so I am! all but these letters. Oh! if you can but make him take back his abominable money, and get me my letters! Then we would bury it all in oblivion, and he could marry somebody else, and I would marry Roger, and no one would be the wiser. After all, it was only what people call 'youthful folly.' And you may tell Mr. Preston that as soon as he makes my letters public, shows them to your father or anything, I'll go away from Hollingford, and never come back."
"You forget how much I can't stand Mr. Preston!" Cynthia said. "It was that, more than any love for Roger, that made me grateful to be at least committed to someone else. He didn't want to call it an engagement, but I did; because it gave me the reassurance that I was free from Mr. Preston. And I am! Except for these letters. Oh! If you can just get him to take back his awful money and give me my letters back! Then we could forget all this, he could marry someone else, and I could marry Roger, and nobody would be the wiser. After all, it was just what people call 'youthful mistakes.' And you can tell Mr. Preston that as soon as he makes my letters public, shows them to your dad, or anything like that, I will leave Hollingford and never come back."
Loaded with many such messages, which she felt that she should never deliver, not really knowing what she should say, hating the errand, not satisfied with Cynthia's manner of speaking about her relations to Roger, oppressed with shame and complicity in conduct which appeared to her deceitful, yet willing to bear all and brave all, if she could once set Cynthia in a straight path—in a clear space, and almost more pitiful to her friend's great distress and possible disgrace, than able to give her that love which involves perfect sympathy, Molly set out on her walk towards the appointed place. It was a cloudy, blustering day, and the noise of the blowing wind among the nearly leafless branches of the great trees filled her ears, as she passed through the park-gates and entered the avenue. She walked quickly, instinctively wishing to get her blood up, and have no time for thought. But there was a bend in the avenue about a quarter of a mile from the lodge; after that bend it was a straight line up to the great house, now emptied of its inhabitants. Molly did not like going quite out of sight of the lodge, and she stood facing it, close by the trunk of one of the trees. Presently she heard a step coming over the grass. It was Mr. Preston. He saw a woman's figure, half-behind the trunk of a tree, and made no doubt that it was Cynthia. But when he came nearer, almost close, the figure turned round, and, instead of the brilliantly coloured face of Cynthia, he met the pale resolved look of Molly. She did not speak to greet him; but though he felt sure from the general aspect of pallor and timidity that she was afraid of him, her steady gray eyes met his with courageous innocence.
Loaded with a lot of messages that she felt she shouldn’t have to deliver, not really knowing what to say, hating the task, dissatisfied with Cynthia’s way of discussing her relationship with Roger, burdened by shame and complicity in behavior she found deceitful, yet willing to endure and face everything if she could just set Cynthia straight—in a clear path, and feeling even more sorry for her friend's immense distress and potential disgrace than being able to give her the kind of love that requires complete understanding, Molly set off on her walk to the meeting place. It was a cloudy, blustery day, and the sound of the wind rustling through the nearly leafless branches of the tall trees filled her ears as she passed through the park gates and entered the avenue. She walked quickly, instinctively wanting to get her adrenaline up and not dwell on her thoughts. But there was a bend in the avenue about a quarter of a mile from the lodge; after that bend, it was a straight shot up to the big house, now empty of its residents. Molly didn’t like being completely out of sight of the lodge, so she stood facing it, close to the trunk of one of the trees. Soon, she heard footsteps coming over the grass. It was Mr. Preston. He spotted a woman's figure half-hidden behind the trunk of a tree and assumed it was Cynthia. But as he approached, the figure turned around, and instead of seeing Cynthia's brightly colored face, he was met with the pale, determined look of Molly. She didn’t greet him, but even though he sensed from her pale and timid appearance that she was scared of him, her steady gray eyes met his with a brave innocence.
"Is Cynthia unable to come?" asked he, perceiving that she expected him.
"Is Cynthia not able to come?" he asked, noticing that she was waiting for him.
"I did not know you thought that you should meet her," said Molly, a little surprised. In her simplicity she had believed that Cynthia had named that it was she, Molly Gibson, who would meet Mr. Preston at a given time and place; but Cynthia had been too worldly-wise for that, and had decoyed him thither by a vaguely worded note, which, while avoiding actual falsehood, had led him to believe that she herself would give him the meeting.
"I didn’t realize you thought you should meet her," said Molly, a bit surprised. In her innocence, she had assumed that Cynthia had meant it was her, Molly Gibson, who would meet Mr. Preston at a specific time and place; but Cynthia was too savvy for that, and had lured him there with a vaguely written note that, while not actually misleading, made him think she would be the one to meet him.
"She said she should be here," said Mr. Preston, extremely annoyed at being entrapped, as he now felt that he had been, into an interview with Miss Gibson. Molly hesitated a little before she spoke. He was determined not to break the silence; as she had intruded herself into the affair, she should find her situation as awkward as possible.
"She said she would be here," Mr. Preston said, clearly irritated at feeling trapped in an interview with Miss Gibson. Molly paused for a moment before responding. He was set on maintaining the silence; since she had inserted herself into the situation, she should find it as uncomfortable as possible.
"At any rate she sent me here to meet you," said Molly. "She has told me exactly how matters stand between you and her."
"Anyway, she sent me here to meet you," said Molly. "She has told me exactly what's going on between you and her."
"Has she?" sneered he. "She is not always the most open or reliable person in the world!"
"Has she?" he sneered. "She's not exactly the most open or trustworthy person out there!"
Molly reddened. She perceived the impertinence of the tone; and her temper was none of the coolest. But she mastered herself and gained courage by so doing.
Molly flushed. She sensed the rudeness in the tone, and her temper wasn’t exactly calm. But she controlled herself and found strength in doing so.
"You should not speak so of the person you profess to wish to have for your wife. But putting all that aside, you have some letters of hers that she wishes to have back again."
"You shouldn’t talk about the person you say you want to marry like that. But aside from that, you have some letters of hers that she wants back."
"I daresay."
"I dare say."
"And that you have no right to keep."
"And you have no right to keep that."
"No legal, or no moral right? which do you mean?"
"No legal or moral right? Which one are you talking about?"
"I do not know; simply you have no right at all, as a gentleman, to keep a girl's letters when she asks for them back again, much less to hold them over her as a threat."
"I don’t know; as a gentleman, you have no right to keep a girl's letters when she asks for them back, let alone use them as leverage against her."
"I see you do know all, Miss Gibson," said he, changing his manner to one of more respect. "At least she has told you her story from her point of view, her side; now you must hear mine. She promised me as solemnly as ever woman—"
"I see you know everything, Miss Gibson," he said, shifting to a more respectful tone. "At least she has shared her version of the story with you; now you need to hear mine. She promised me as solemnly as any woman—"
"She was not a woman, she was only a girl, barely sixteen."
"She wasn't a woman; she was just a girl, not even sixteen."
"Old enough to know what she was doing; but I'll call her a girl if you like. She promised me solemnly to be my wife, making the one stipulation of secrecy, and a certain period of waiting; she wrote me letters repeating this promise, and confidential enough to prove that she considered herself bound to me by such an implied relation. I don't give in to humbug—I don't set myself up as a saint—and in most ways I can look after my own interests pretty keenly; you know enough of her position as a penniless girl, and at that time, with no influential connections to take the place of wealth, and help me on in the world, it was as sincere and unworldly a passion as ever man felt; she must say so herself. I might have married two or three girls with plenty of money; one of them was handsome enough, and not at all reluctant."
"She was old enough to know what she was doing, but I’ll refer to her as a girl if that’s what you prefer. She promised me earnestly that she would be my wife, with the only condition being secrecy and a certain period of waiting. She wrote me letters reiterating this promise, and they were personal enough to show that she felt bound to me by this unspoken agreement. I don’t fall for nonsense—I don’t pretend to be a saint—and in most ways, I can manage my own interests quite well; you know enough about her situation as a broke girl, and at that time, with no influential connections to replace wealth and help me advance in life, it was as genuine and selfless a passion as any man has ever experienced; she would have to agree. I could have married two or three girls with plenty of money; one of them was attractive enough and not at all hesitant."
Molly interrupted him: she was chafed at the conceit of his manner. "I beg your pardon, but I do not want to hear accounts of young ladies whom you might have married; I come here simply on behalf of Cynthia, who does not like you, and who does not wish to marry you."
Molly cut him off: she was annoyed by his arrogance. "I’m sorry, but I don’t want to hear about the young women you could have married; I’m here solely for Cynthia, who doesn’t like you and doesn’t want to marry you."
"Well, then, I must make her 'like' me, as you call it. She did 'like' me once, and made promises which she will find it requires the consent of two people to break. I don't despair of making her love me as much as ever she did, according to her letters, at least, when we are married."
"Well, then, I have to make her 'like' me, as you say. She did 'like' me once and made promises that she'll find take two people to break. I'm not losing hope of making her love me as much as she did, at least based on her letters, when we’re married."
"She will never marry you," said Molly, firmly.
"She will never marry you," Molly said firmly.
"Then if she ever honours any one else with her preference, he shall be allowed the perusal of her letters to me."
"Then if she ever favors anyone else, he will be allowed to read her letters to me."
Molly almost could have laughed, she was so secure and certain that Roger would never read letters offered to him under these circumstances; but then she thought that he would feel such pain at the whole affair, and at the contact with Mr. Preston, especially if he had not heard of it from Cynthia first, and if she, Molly, could save him pain she would. Before she could settle what to say, Mr. Preston spoke again.
Molly almost laughed because she was so sure that Roger would never read the letters given to him in this situation. But then she considered how much pain he would feel about the whole situation and about dealing with Mr. Preston, especially if he hadn’t heard about it from Cynthia first. If she, Molly, could spare him that pain, she would. Before she could figure out what to say, Mr. Preston spoke again.
"You said the other day that Cynthia was engaged. May I ask whom to?"
"You mentioned the other day that Cynthia is engaged. Can I ask who she’s engaged to?"
"No," said Molly, "you may not. You heard her say it was not an engagement. It is not exactly; and if it were a full engagement, do you think, after what you last said, I should tell you to whom? But you may be sure of this, he would never read a line of your letters. He is too— No! I won't speak of him before you. You could never understand him."
"No," Molly said, "you can't. You heard her say it wasn't an engagement. It isn't exactly; and if it were a full engagement, do you really think I would tell you who it is after what you just said? But you can be sure of this: he would never read any of your letters. He is too— No! I'm not going to talk about him in front of you. You could never understand him."
"It seems to me that this mysterious 'he' is a very fortunate person to have such a warm defender in Miss Gibson, to whom he is not at all engaged," said Mr. Preston, with so disagreeable a look on his face that Molly suddenly found herself on the point of bursting into tears. But she rallied herself, and worked on—for Cynthia first, and for Roger as well.
"It seems to me that this mysterious 'he' is quite lucky to have such a supportive defender in Miss Gibson, whom he isn't even engaged to," said Mr. Preston, wearing such an unpleasant expression that Molly nearly started crying. But she collected herself and kept going—for Cynthia first, and for Roger too.
"No honourable man or woman will read your letters, and if any people do read them, they will be so much ashamed of it that they won't dare to speak of them. What use can they be of to you?"
"No decent person will read your letters, and if anyone does, they will be so embarrassed that they won't even mention them. What good could they possibly do for you?"
"They contain Cynthia's reiterated promises of marriage," replied he.
"They include Cynthia's repeated promises of marriage," he replied.
"She says she would rather leave Hollingford for ever, and go out to earn her bread, than marry you."
"She says she'd rather leave Hollingford for good and go earn her living than marry you."
His face fell a little. He looked so bitterly mortified, that Molly was almost sorry for him.
His expression dropped a bit. He looked so painfully embarrassed that Molly almost felt bad for him.
"Does she say that to you in cold blood? Do you know you are telling me very hard truths, Miss Gibson? If they are truths, that is to say," he continued, recovering himself a little. "Young ladies are very fond of the words 'hate' and 'detest.' I've known many who have applied them to men whom they were all the time hoping to marry."
"Does she really tell you that without any feeling? Do you realize you’re sharing some pretty tough truths with me, Miss Gibson? If they are truths, that is," he went on, regaining his composure a bit. "Young women really love using the words 'hate' and 'detest.' I've known quite a few who said that about men they secretly wanted to marry."
"I cannot tell about other people," said Molly; "I only know that Cynthia does—" Here she hesitated for a moment; she felt for his pain, and so she hesitated; but then she brought it out—"does as nearly hate you as anybody like her ever does hate."
"I can't speak for others," said Molly; "I only know that Cynthia does—" Here she paused for a moment; she empathized with his pain, which made her hesitate, but then she finally said, "does almost hate you as much as someone like her can hate."
"Like her?" said he, repeating the words almost unconsciously, seizing on anything to try and hide his mortification.
"Like her?" he said, almost without thinking, grasping at anything to mask his embarrassment.
"I mean, I should hate worse," said Molly in a low voice.
"I mean, I should hate more," said Molly in a quiet voice.
But he did not attend much to her answer. He was working the point of his stick into the turf, and his eyes were bent on it.
But he didn’t pay much attention to her answer. He was poking the tip of his stick into the ground, and his eyes were focused on it.
"So now would you mind sending her back the letters by me? I do assure you that you cannot make her marry you."
"So could you please send her the letters through me? I assure you that there’s no way you can make her marry you."
"You are very simple, Miss Gibson," said he, suddenly lifting up his head. "I suppose you don't know that there is any other feeling that can be gratified, except love. Have you never heard of revenge? Cynthia has cajoled me with promises, and little as you or she may believe me—well, it's no use speaking of that. I don't mean to let her go unpunished. You may tell her that. I shall keep the letters, and make use of them as I see fit when the occasion arises."
"You’re really naive, Miss Gibson," he said, suddenly looking up. "I guess you don’t realize that there are other feelings besides love that can be satisfied. Haven’t you ever heard of revenge? Cynthia has sweet-talked me with promises, and even if you or she don't believe me—well, it’s pointless to go into that. I don’t plan on letting her get away without consequences. You can let her know that. I’ll keep the letters and use them however I want when the time comes."
Molly was miserably angry with herself for her mismanagement of the affair. She had hoped to succeed: she had only made matters worse. What new argument could she use? Meanwhile he went on, lashing himself up as he thought how the two girls must have talked him over, bringing in wounded vanity to add to the rage of disappointed love.
Molly was really upset with herself for how she had messed up the situation. She had wanted to succeed, but all she did was make things worse. What new argument could she come up with? Meanwhile, he kept going, getting more worked up as he thought about how the two girls must have gossiped about him, adding his hurt pride to the anger of his unfulfilled love.
"Mr. Osborne Hamley may hear of their contents, though he may be too honourable to read them. Nay, even your father may hear whispers; and if I remember them rightly, Miss Cynthia Kirkpatrick does not always speak in the most respectful terms of the lady who is now Mrs. Gibson. There are—"
"Mr. Osborne Hamley might learn about what’s inside, even though he might be too honorable to read them. In fact, even your father might hear rumors; and if I recall correctly, Miss Cynthia Kirkpatrick doesn’t always speak very respectfully about the woman who is now Mrs. Gibson. There are—
"Stop," said Molly. "I won't hear anything out of these letters, written, when she was almost without friends, to you, whom she looked upon as a friend! But I have thought of what I will do next. I give you fair warning. If I had not been foolish, I should have told my father, but Cynthia made me promise that I would not. So I will tell it all, from beginning to end, to Lady Harriet, and ask her to speak to her father. I feel sure that she will do it; and I don't think you will dare to refuse Lord Cumnor."
"Stop," said Molly. "I won't listen to anything from these letters, written when she barely had any friends, to you, who she considered a friend! But I've figured out what I'm going to do next. Consider this a warning. If I hadn't been so foolish, I would have told my dad, but Cynthia made me promise not to. So, I'm going to tell everything, from start to finish, to Lady Harriet and ask her to talk to her dad. I'm sure she will do it, and I don't think you'll dare to refuse Lord Cumnor."
He felt at once that he should not dare; that, clever land-agent as he was, and high up in the earl's favour on that account, yet that the conduct of which he had been guilty in regard to the letters, and the threats which he had held out respecting them, were just what no gentleman, no honourable man, no manly man, could put up with in any one about him. He knew that much, and he wondered how she, the girl standing before him, had been clever enough to find it out. He forgot himself for an instant in admiration of her. There she stood, frightened, yet brave, not letting go her hold on what she meant to do, even when things seemed most against her; and besides, there was something that struck him most of all perhaps, and which shows the kind of man he was—he perceived that Molly was as unconscious that he was a young man, and she a young woman, as if she had been a pure angel of heaven. Though he felt that he would have to yield, and give up the letters, he was not going to do it at once; and while he was thinking what to say, so as still to evade making any concession till he had had time to think over it, he, with his quick senses all about him, heard the trotting of a horse cranching quickly along over the gravel of the drive. A moment afterwards, Molly's perception overtook his. He could see the startled look overspread her face; and in an instant she would have run away, but before the first rush was made, Mr. Preston laid his hand firmly on her arm.
He instantly realized that he shouldn't dare to act on it; although he was a clever land agent and had high favor with the earl because of it, the way he had handled the letters and the threats he had made about them were exactly the sort of behavior no gentleman, no honorable man, or any real man could tolerate from someone close to him. He understood this much and wondered how she, the girl in front of him, had been smart enough to figure it out. For a moment, he lost himself in admiration for her. There she stood, scared but brave, holding firmly to what she planned to do, even when everything seemed against her. Plus, there was something that struck him most—showing what kind of man he was—he noticed that Molly was completely unaware of the fact that he was a young man and she was a young woman, as if she were a pure angel from heaven. Although he felt he would have to give in and hand over the letters, he wasn’t going to do it right away. While he was figuring out what to say so he could avoid making any concessions until he had time to think, he, with his keen senses alert, heard the sound of a horse trotting quickly over the gravel of the driveway. Moments later, Molly seemed to realize it too. He could see the shocked expression spread across her face, and in an instant, she would have run away, but before she could make the first move, Mr. Preston firmly grabbed her arm.
"Keep quiet. You must be seen. You, at any rate, have done nothing to be ashamed of."
"Stay quiet. You need to be noticed. You haven’t done anything to feel ashamed of."
As he spoke, Mr. Sheepshanks came round the bend of the road and was close upon them. Mr. Preston saw, if Molly did not, the sudden look of intelligence that dawned upon the shrewd ruddy face of the old gentleman—saw, but did not much heed. He went forwards and spoke to Mr. Sheepshanks, who made a halt right before them.
As he was talking, Mr. Sheepshanks rounded the bend of the road and got close to them. Mr. Preston noticed, even if Molly didn’t, the quick glimmer of understanding that appeared on the clever, ruddy face of the old gentleman—he noticed but didn’t pay much attention. He walked up and spoke to Mr. Sheepshanks, who stopped right in front of them.
"Miss Gibson! your servant. Rather a blustering day for a young lady to be out,—and cold, I should say, for standing still too long; eh, Preston?" poking his whip at the latter in a knowing manner.
"Miss Gibson! Your servant. Quite a windy day for a young lady to be outside—and I’d say it’s pretty cold for standing still too long; right, Preston?" He nudged his whip at the latter with a knowing look.
"Yes," said Mr. Preston; "and I'm afraid I have kept Miss Gibson too long standing."
"Yeah," said Mr. Preston, "and I'm afraid I've made Miss Gibson wait too long."
Molly did not know what to say or do; so she only bowed a silent farewell, and turned away to go home, feeling very heavy at heart at the non-success of her undertaking. For she did not know how she had conquered, in fact, although Mr. Preston might not as yet acknowledge it even to himself. Before she was out of hearing, she heard Mr. Sheepshanks say,—
Molly didn't know what to say or do, so she just silently nodded goodbye and turned to head home, feeling really down about her failed attempt. She had no idea how she had actually won, even if Mr. Preston might not admit it to himself just yet. Before she was out of earshot, she heard Mr. Sheepshanks speak,—
"Sorry to have disturbed your tête-à-tête, Preston," but though she heard the words, their implied sense did not sink into her mind; she was only feeling how she had gone out glorious and confident, and was coming back to Cynthia defeated.
"Sorry to interrupt your conversation, Preston," but even though she heard the words, their implied meaning didn't register in her mind; she was only feeling how she had left feeling glorious and confident, and was returning to Cynthia feeling defeated.
Cynthia was on the watch for her return, and, rushing downstairs, dragged Molly into the dining-room.
Cynthia was waiting for her to come back and, rushing downstairs, pulled Molly into the dining room.
"Well, Molly? Oh! I see you haven't got them. After all, I never expected it." She sate down, as if she could get over her disappointment better in that position, and Molly stood like a guilty person before her.
"Well, Molly? Oh! I see you don’t have them. I never really expected you would." She sat down, as if she could deal with her disappointment better that way, and Molly stood there like someone caught doing something wrong.
"I am so sorry; I did all I could; we were interrupted at last—Mr. Sheepshanks rode up."
"I’m really sorry; I did everything I could; we got interrupted—Mr. Sheepshanks rode up."
"Provoking old man! Do you think you should have persuaded him to give up the letters if you had had more time?"
"Come on, old man! Do you really think you could have convinced him to give up the letters if you had a little more time?"
"I don't know. I wish Mr. Sheepshanks hadn't come up just then. I didn't like his finding me standing talking to Mr. Preston."
"I don't know. I wish Mr. Sheepshanks hadn't shown up right then. I didn't like him seeing me talking to Mr. Preston."
"Oh! I daresay he'd never think anything about it. What did he—Mr. Preston—say?"
"Oh! I bet he wouldn't think anything of it. What did he—Mr. Preston—say?"
"He seemed to think you were fully engaged to him, and that these letters were the only proof he had. I think he loves you in his way."
"He seemed to believe you were completely committed to him, and that these letters were his only evidence. I think he loves you in his own way."
"His way, indeed!" said Cynthia, scornfully.
"His way, for sure!" said Cynthia, mockingly.
"The more I think of it, the more I see it would be better for papa to speak to him. I did say I would tell it all to Lady Harriet, and get Lord Cumnor to make him give up the letters. But it would be very awkward."
"The more I think about it, the more I realize it would be better for Dad to talk to him. I did say I would tell everything to Lady Harriet and get Lord Cumnor to make him hand over the letters. But it would be really awkward."
"Very!" said Cynthia, gloomily. "But he would see it was only a threat."
"Very!" said Cynthia, glumly. "But he would realize it was just a threat."
"But I will do it in a moment, if you like. I meant what I said; only I feel that papa would manage it best of all, and more privately."
"But I'll do it in a minute, if that's okay with you. I meant what I said; I just think that dad would handle it the best and in a more private way."
"I'll tell you what, Molly—you're bound by a promise, you know, and cannot tell Mr. Gibson without breaking your solemn word—but it's just this: I'll leave Hollingford and never come back again, if ever your father hears of this affair; there!" Cynthia stood up now, and began to fold up Molly's shawl, in her nervous excitement.
"I'll tell you something, Molly—you've made a promise, and you can't tell Mr. Gibson without breaking your word—but here's the deal: I'll leave Hollingford and never come back if your father finds out about this; there!" Cynthia stood up and started folding Molly's shawl in her nervous excitement.
"Oh, Cynthia—Roger!" was all that Molly said.
"Oh, Cynthia—Roger!" was all that Molly said.
"Yes, I know! you need not remind me of him. But I'm not going to live in the house with any one who may be always casting up in his mind the things he had heard against me—things—faults, perhaps—which sound so much worse than they really are. I was so happy when I first came here; you all liked me, and admired me, and thought well of me, and now— Why, Molly, I can see the difference in you already. You carry your thoughts in your face—I have read them there these two days—you've been thinking, 'How Cynthia must have deceived me; keeping up a correspondence all this time—having half-engagements to two men!' You've been more full of that than of pity for me as a girl who has always been obliged to manage for herself, without any friend to help her and protect her."
"Yes, I know! You don’t need to remind me of him. But I’m not going to live in a house with someone who might always be bringing up the things he heard about me—things—faults, maybe—which sound much worse than they actually are. I was so happy when I first got here; you all liked me, admired me, and thought well of me, and now Why, Molly, I can already see the difference in you. You wear your thoughts on your face—I’ve seen them there these past two days—you’ve been thinking, 'How Cynthia must have deceived me; keeping up a correspondence all this time—having half-engagements to two men!' You’ve been more caught up in that than in feeling sorry for me as a girl who has always had to fend for herself, without any friend to help her and protect her."
Molly was silent. There was a great deal of truth in what Cynthia was saying: and yet a great deal of falsehood. For, through all this long forty-eight hours, Molly had loved Cynthia dearly; and had been more weighed down by the position the latter was in than Cynthia herself. She also knew—but this was a second thought following on the other—that she had suffered much pain in trying to do her best in this interview with Mr. Preston. She had been tried beyond her strength: and the great tears welled up into her eyes, and fell slowly down her cheeks.
Molly stayed quiet. There was a lot of truth in what Cynthia was saying, but there was also a lot of falsehood. Throughout the long forty-eight hours, Molly had loved Cynthia deeply and had felt even heavier about Cynthia’s situation than Cynthia herself did. She also realized—this was a secondary thought—that she had experienced a lot of pain trying to do her best in the meeting with Mr. Preston. She had been pushed beyond her limits, and big tears welled up in her eyes and slowly rolled down her cheeks.
"Oh! what a brute I am!" said Cynthia, kissing them away. "I see—I know it is the truth, and I deserve it—but I need not reproach you."
"Oh! what a jerk I am!" said Cynthia, kissing them away. "I see—I know it's true, and I deserve it—but I shouldn't blame you."
"You did not reproach me!" said Molly, trying to smile. "I have thought something of what you said—but I do love you dearly—dearly, Cynthia—I should have done just the same as you did."
"You didn't blame me!" said Molly, trying to smile. "I've thought a bit about what you said—but I really do love you, Cynthia—so much—I would have done the exact same thing you did."
"No, you would not. Your grain is different, somehow."
"No, you wouldn't. Your grain is different, somehow."
CHAPTER XLV.
CONFIDENCES.
All the rest of that day Molly was depressed and not well. Having anything to conceal was so unusual—almost so unprecedented a circumstance with her that it preyed upon her in every way.
All the rest of that day, Molly felt down and unwell. Having something to hide was so unusual—almost an unprecedented situation for her—that it affected her in every way.
It was a nightmare that she could not shake off; she did so wish to forget it all, and yet every little occurrence seemed to remind her of it. The next morning's post brought several letters; one from Roger for Cynthia, and Molly, letterless herself, looked at Cynthia as she read it, with wistful sadness. It appeared to Molly as though Cynthia should have no satisfaction in these letters, until she had told him what was her exact position with Mr. Preston; yet Cynthia was colouring and dimpling up as she always did at any pretty words of praise, or admiration, or love. But Molly's thoughts and Cynthia's reading were both interrupted by a little triumphant sound from Mrs. Gibson, as she pushed a letter she had just received to her husband, with a—
It was a nightmare that she couldn’t get rid of; she really wanted to forget it all, but every little thing seemed to remind her of it. The next morning’s mail brought several letters, one from Roger addressed to Cynthia. Molly, who didn’t receive any letters herself, watched Cynthia read it with a longing sadness. To Molly, it seemed like Cynthia shouldn’t find any joy in these letters until she had shared her true position with Mr. Preston. Yet Cynthia was blushing and smiling as she always did at any sweet words of praise, admiration, or love. But both Molly’s thoughts and Cynthia’s reading were interrupted by a little triumphant sound from Mrs. Gibson, as she handed a letter she had just received to her husband, with a—
"There! I must say I expected that!" Then, turning to Cynthia, she explained—"It is a letter from uncle Kirkpatrick, love. So kind, wishing you to go and stay with them, and help them to cheer up Helen; poor Helen! I am afraid she is very far from well. But we could not have had her here, without disturbing dear papa in his consulting-room; and, though I could have relinquished my dressing-room—he—well! so I said in my letter how you were grieved—you above all of us, because you are such a friend of Helen's, you know—and how you longed to be of use,—as I am sure you do—and so now they want you to go up directly, for Helen has quite set her heart upon it."
"There! I have to say I expected that!" Then, turning to Cynthia, she explained, "It's a letter from Uncle Kirkpatrick, love. How kind of him, inviting you to go and stay with them to help cheer up Helen; poor Helen! I'm worried she's really not well at all. But we couldn't have her here without bothering dear Papa in his consulting room; and while I could have given up my dressing room—he—well! I mentioned in my letter how upset you were—especially you, since you're such a good friend to Helen, you know—and how eager you are to help, as I’m sure you are—so now they want you to go up right away because Helen has her heart set on it."
Cynthia's eyes sparkled. "I shall like going," said she—"all but leaving you, Molly," she added, in a lower tone, as if suddenly smitten with some compunction.
Cynthia's eyes sparkled. "I’d love to go," she said—"except for leaving you, Molly," she added, in a softer tone, as if suddenly feeling a pang of guilt.
"Can you be ready to go by the 'Bang-up' to-night?" said Mr. Gibson; "for, curiously enough, after more than twenty years of quiet practice at Hollingford, I am summoned up to-day for the first time to a consultation in London to-morrow. I'm afraid Lady Cumnor is worse, my dear."
"Can you be ready to go by the 'Bang-up' tonight?" Mr. Gibson asked. "Because, oddly enough, after over twenty years of quiet practice in Hollingford, I'm being called to a consultation in London tomorrow for the first time. I'm afraid Lady Cumnor is doing worse, my dear."
"You don't say so? Poor dear lady! What a shock it is to me! I'm so glad I've had some breakfast. I could not have eaten anything."
"You don’t say? Poor lady! What a shock this is to me! I’m so glad I had some breakfast. I wouldn’t have been able to eat anything."
"Nay, I only say she is worse. With her complaint, being worse may be only a preliminary to being better. Don't take my words for more than their literal meaning."
"No, I’m just saying she’s worse. With her situation, being worse might just be a step toward getting better. Don’t interpret my words beyond their literal meaning."
"Thank you. How kind and reassuring dear papa always is! About your gowns, Cynthia?"
"Thank you. How kind and reassuring dear dad always is! About your dresses, Cynthia?"
"Oh, they're all right, mamma, thank you. I shall be quite ready by four o'clock. Molly, will you come with me and help me to pack? I wanted to speak to you, dear," said she, as soon as they had gone upstairs. "It is such a relief to get away from a place haunted by that man; but I'm afraid you thought I was glad to leave you; and indeed I am not." There was a little flavour of "protesting too much" about this; but Molly did not perceive it. She only said, "Indeed I did not. I know from my own feelings how you must dislike meeting a man in public in a different manner from what you have done in private. I shall try not to see Mr. Preston again for a long, long time, I'm sure. But, Cynthia, you haven't told me one word out of Roger's letter. Please, how is he? Has he quite got over his attack of fever?"
"Oh, they're fine, Mom, thank you. I’ll be all set by four o'clock. Molly, will you come with me and help me pack? I wanted to talk to you, dear," she said as soon as they got upstairs. "It's such a relief to get away from a place that's haunted by that man; but I'm afraid you might think I was happy to leave you, and I'm really not." There was a hint of "protesting too much" in her tone, but Molly didn’t notice. She only replied, "Actually, I did not. I know from my own feelings how much you must dislike seeing a man in public differently than you've interacted with him privately. I'm sure I'll try not to see Mr. Preston for a long, long time. But, Cynthia, you haven’t told me a word about Roger's letter. Please, how is he? Has he fully recovered from his fever?"
"Yes, quite. He writes in very good spirits. A great deal about birds and beasts, as usual, habits of natives, and things of that kind. You may read from there" (indicating a place in the letter) "to there, if you can. And I'll tell you what, I'll trust you with it, Molly, while I pack; and that shows my sense of your honour—not but what you might read it all, only you'd find the love-making dull; but make a little account of where he is, and what he is doing, date, and that sort of thing, and send it to his father."
"Yes, definitely. He writes in a really good mood. A lot about birds and animals, as usual, the habits of locals, and stuff like that. You can read from here" (pointing to a spot in the letter) "to there, if you’re able to. And you know what, I’ll trust you with it, Molly, while I pack; and that shows I regard your integrity—not that you couldn't read it all, but you might find the romantic stuff boring; just keep a brief note of where he is, what he’s doing, the date, and that kind of thing, and send it to his father."
Molly took the letter down without a word, and began to copy it at the writing-table; often reading over what she was allowed to read; often pausing, her cheek on her hand, her eyes on the letter, and letting her imagination rove to the writer, and all the scenes in which she had either seen him herself, or in which her fancy had painted him. She was startled from her meditations by Cynthia's sudden entrance into the drawing-room, looking the picture of glowing delight. "No one here? What a blessing! Ah, Miss Molly, you are more eloquent than you believe yourself. Look here!" holding up a large full envelope, and then quickly replacing it in her pocket, as if she was afraid of being seen. "What's the matter, sweet one?" coming up and caressing Molly. "Is it worrying itself over that letter? Why, don't you see these are my very own horrible letters, that I am going to burn directly, that Mr. Preston has had the grace to send me, thanks to you, little Molly—cuishla ma chree, pulse of my heart,—the letters that have been hanging over my head like somebody's sword for these two years?"
Molly took down the letter silently and started copying it at the writing desk, frequently rereading parts she was permitted and pausing often, resting her cheek on her hand, eyes on the letter, letting her imagination wander to the writer and all the scenes in which she had either seen him herself or pictured him. She was pulled from her thoughts by Cynthia’s sudden entrance into the drawing-room, looking absolutely thrilled. "No one here? What a relief! Oh, Miss Molly, you’re more expressive than you realize. Look at this!" she said, holding up a large envelope before quickly putting it back in her pocket, as if afraid of being seen. "What’s wrong, sweetheart?" she asked, walking over to comfort Molly. "Are you stressing about that letter? Don’t you see these are my own awful letters that I’m going to burn right now, sent to me by Mr. Preston, thanks to you, dear Molly—cuishla ma chree, pulse of my heart—the letters that have been hanging over me like a sword for the past two years?"
"Oh, I am so glad!" said Molly, rousing up a little. "I never thought he would have sent them. He is better than I believed him. And now it is all over. I am so glad! You quite think he means to give up all claim over you by this, don't you, Cynthia?"
"Oh, I'm so glad!" said Molly, sitting up a bit. "I never thought he would actually send them. He’s better than I thought. And now it’s all over. I’m so glad! You really think he means to give up all claims on you with this, don’t you, Cynthia?"
"He may claim, but I won't be claimed; and he has no proofs now. It is the most charming relief; and I owe it all to you, you precious little lady! Now there's only one thing more to be done; and if you would but do it for me—" (coaxing and caressing while she asked the question).
"He might try to make a claim, but I won't be claimed; and he has no evidence now. It's such a delightful relief; and I owe it all to you, you lovely lady! Now there's just one more thing to do; and if you would just do it for me— (coaxing and sweetly asking the question).
"Oh, Cynthia, don't ask me; I cannot do any more. You don't know how sick I go when I think of yesterday, and Mr. Sheepshanks' look."
"Oh, Cynthia, please don't ask me; I can't take it anymore. You have no idea how sick I feel when I think about yesterday and Mr. Sheepshanks' expression."
"It is only a very little thing. I won't burden your conscience with telling you how I got my letters, but it is not through a person I can trust with money; and I must force him to take back his twenty-three pounds odd shillings. I have put it together at the rate of five per cent., and it's sealed up. Oh, Molly, I should go off with such a light heart if you would only try to get it safely to him. It's the last thing; there would be no immediate hurry, you know. You might meet him by chance in a shop, in the street, even at a party—and if you only had it with you in your pocket, there would be nothing so easy."
"It's just a small thing. I won’t trouble you with how I got my letters, but it’s not from someone I can trust with money, and I need to make him take back his twenty-three pounds and some shillings. I’ve put it together at a five percent interest, and it’s sealed up. Oh, Molly, I’d feel so much lighter if you could just make sure it gets to him safely. It’s the last thing; there’s no rush, you know. You might run into him by chance at a shop, on the street, or even at a party—and if you just had it with you in your pocket, it would be so easy."
Molly was silent. "Papa would give it to him. There would be no harm in that. I would tell him he must ask no questions as to what it was."
Molly was silent. "Dad would give it to him. There wouldn't be any harm in that. I would tell him he mustn't ask any questions about what it was."
"Very well," said Cynthia, "have it your own way. I think my way is the best: for if any of this affair comes out— But you've done a great deal for me already, and I won't blame you now for declining to do any more!"
"Alright," said Cynthia, "do it your way. I believe my approach is the best: because if any of this situation gets out— But you've already done so much for me, and I won't hold it against you now for not wanting to do more!"
"I do so dislike having these underhand dealings with him," pleaded Molly.
"I really don't like having these sneaky deals with him," Molly said.
"Underhand! just simply giving him a letter from me! If I left a note for Miss Browning, should you dislike giving it to her?"
"Hey! Just passing along a letter from me! If I left a note for Miss Browning, would you not want to give it to her?"
"You know that's very different. I could do it openly."
"You know that's really different. I could do it openly."
"And yet there might be writing in that; and there wouldn't be a line with the money. It would only be the winding-up—the honourable, honest winding-up of an affair which has worried me for years. But do as you like!"
"And yet there could be something to write about; and there wouldn't be a single line with the money. It would just be the conclusion—the honorable, honest conclusion of a situation that's troubled me for years. But do whatever you want!"
"Give it me!" said Molly. "I will try."
"Give it to me!" said Molly. "I'll give it a shot."
"There's a darling! You can but try; and if you can't give it to him in private, without getting yourself into a scrape, why, keep it till I come back again. He shall have it then, whether he will or no!"
"There's a sweetheart! You can give it a shot; and if you can't give it to him privately without getting into trouble, well, hold onto it until I return. He'll get it then, whether he likes it or not!"
Molly looked forward to her two days alone with Mrs. Gibson with very different anticipations from those with which she had welcomed the similar intercourse with her father. In the first place, there was no accompanying the travellers to the inn from which the coach started; leave-taking in the market-place was quite out of the bounds of Mrs. Gibson's sense of propriety. Besides this, it was a gloomy, rainy evening, and candles had to be brought in at an unusually early hour. There would be no break for six hours—no music, no reading; but the two ladies would sit at their worsted work, pattering away at small-talk, with not even the usual break of dinner; for, to suit the requirements of those who were leaving, they had already dined early. But Mrs. Gibson really meant to make Molly happy, and tried to be an agreeable companion, only Molly was not well, and was uneasy about many apprehended cares and troubles—and at such hours of indisposition as she was then passing through, apprehensions take the shape of certainties, lying await in our paths. Molly would have given a good deal to have shaken off all these feelings, unusual enough to her; but the very house and furniture, and rain-blurred outer landscape, seemed steeped with unpleasant associations, most of them dating from the last few days.
Molly looked forward to her two days alone with Mrs. Gibson with very different expectations than the ones she had when she welcomed similar time with her father. For one, she wouldn't be seeing the travelers off at the inn where the coach departed; saying goodbye in the marketplace was completely out of Mrs. Gibson's idea of what was proper. On top of that, it was a gloomy, rainy evening, and they had to bring in candles uncharacteristically early. There would be no interruptions for six hours—no music, no reading; the two ladies would just sit doing their needlework, chatting idly, without even the usual break for dinner because they had already eaten early to accommodate the travelers. However, Mrs. Gibson genuinely wanted to make Molly happy and tried to be a pleasant company, but Molly wasn’t feeling well and was anxious about many worries and troubles—and during times like these, anxieties tend to feel like certainties, lurking in our way. Molly would have given a lot to shake off these feelings, which were strange to her; but the house, the furniture, and the rain-soaked outside all seemed filled with unpleasant memories, most of them from the last few days.
"You and I must go on the next journey, I think, my dear," said Mrs. Gibson, almost chiming in with Molly's wish that she could get away from Hollingford into some new air and life, for a week or two. "We have been stay-at-homes for a long time, and variety of scene is so desirable for the young! But I think the travellers will be wishing themselves at home by this nice bright fireside. 'There's no place like home,' as the poet says. 'Mid pleasures and palaces although I may roam,' it begins, and it's both very pretty and very true. It's a great blessing to have such a dear little home as this, is not it, Molly?"
"You and I should go on our next adventure, I think, my dear," said Mrs. Gibson, almost echoing Molly's wish to escape Hollingford for a change of scenery and some new experiences for a week or two. "We've been cooped up at home for a long time, and a change of scene is really important for young people! But I bet the travelers will be wishing they were back at home by this lovely bright fireplace. 'There's no place like home,' as the poet puts it. 'Mid pleasures and palaces although I may roam,' it starts, and it's both very beautiful and very true. It’s a real blessing to have such a lovely little home like this, isn't it, Molly?"
"Yes," said Molly, rather drearily, having something of the "toujours perdrix" feeling at the moment. If she could but have gone away with her father, just for two days, how pleasant it would have been.
"Yeah," said Molly, a bit downcast, feeling somewhat like she was stuck in the same old routine. If only she could have gone away with her dad, even just for two days, how nice that would have been.
"To be sure, love, it would be very nice for you and me to go a little journey all by ourselves. You and I. No one else. If it were not such miserable weather we would have gone off on a little impromptu tour. I've been longing for something of the kind for some weeks; but we live such a restricted kind of life here! I declare sometimes I get quite sick of the very sight of the chairs and tables that I know so well. And one misses the others too! It seems so flat and deserted without them!"
"Honestly, love, it would be really nice for us to take a little trip just the two of us. Just you and me. No one else. If the weather weren’t so terrible, we would have already gone on a spontaneous adventure. I've been wanting something like that for weeks now; but we live such a limited life here! I swear, sometimes I get really tired of seeing the same chairs and tables that I know so well. And I miss the others too! It feels so dull and empty without them!"
"Yes! We are very forlorn to-night; but I think it's partly owing to the weather!"
"Yes! We're really down tonight; but I think it's partly because of the weather!"
"Nonsense, dear. I can't have you giving in to the silly fancy of being affected by weather. Poor dear Mr. Kirkpatrick used to say, 'a cheerful heart makes its own sunshine.' He would say it to me, in his pretty way, whenever I was a little low—for I am a complete barometer—you may really judge of the state of the weather by my spirits, I have always been such a sensitive creature! It is well for Cynthia that she does not inherit it; I don't think her easily affected in any way, do you?"
"Nonsense, dear. I can't let you give in to the silly idea of being affected by the weather. Poor Mr. Kirkpatrick used to say, 'a cheerful heart makes its own sunshine.' He would say that to me, in his charming way, whenever I was feeling down—because I’m like a human barometer; you can really tell the weather by my mood. I've always been so sensitive! It's good for Cynthia that she doesn't have that; I don't think she gets affected easily, do you?"
Molly thought for a minute or two, and then replied—"No, she certainly is not easily affected—not deeply affected perhaps I should say."
Molly thought for a moment or two, and then replied, "No, she definitely isn't easily affected—not deeply affected, I should say."
"Many girls, for instance, would have been touched by the admiration she excited—I may say the attentions she received when she was at her uncle's last summer."
"Many girls, for example, would have been flattered by the admiration she received—I could even say the attention she got when she was at her uncle's last summer."
"At Mr. Kirkpatrick's?"
"At Mr. Kirkpatrick's place?"
"Yes. There was Mr. Henderson, that young lawyer; that's to say, he is studying law, but he has a good private fortune and is likely to have more, so he can only be what I call playing at law. Mr. Henderson was over head and ears in love with her. It is not my fancy, although I grant mothers are partial: both Mr. and Mrs. Kirkpatrick noticed it; and in one of Mrs. Kirkpatrick's letters, she said that poor Mr. Henderson was going into Switzerland for the long vacation, doubtless to try and forget Cynthia; but she really believed he would find it only 'dragging at each remove a lengthening chain.' I thought it such a refined quotation, and altogether worded so prettily. You must know aunt Kirkpatrick some day, Molly, my love; she is what I call a woman of a truly elegant mind."
"Yes. There was Mr. Henderson, that young lawyer; I mean, he’s studying law, but he has a good private fortune and is likely to have even more, so he can really just be playing at law. Mr. Henderson was head over heels in love with her. This isn’t just my opinion, although I admit mothers can be biased: both Mr. and Mrs. Kirkpatrick noticed it too; and in one of Mrs. Kirkpatrick's letters, she mentioned that poor Mr. Henderson was heading to Switzerland for the long vacation, probably to try and forget Cynthia; but she honestly believed he would find it just like 'dragging a lengthening chain with each step.' I thought it was such a refined quote, and it was all expressed so nicely. You really need to meet Aunt Kirkpatrick someday, Molly, my love; she’s what I’d call a woman of truly elegant mind."
"I can't help thinking it was a pity that Cynthia did not tell them of her engagement."
"I can’t help but think it’s a shame that Cynthia didn’t tell them about her engagement."
"It is not an engagement, my dear! How often must I tell you that?"
"It’s not an engagement, my dear! How many times do I have to say that?"
"But what am I to call it?"
"But what should I call it?"
"I don't see why you need to call it anything. Indeed, I don't understand what you mean by 'it.' You should always try to express yourself intelligibly. It really is one of the first principles of the English language. In fact, philosophers might ask what is language given us for at all, if it is not that we may make our meaning understood?"
"I don't get why you need to call it anything. Honestly, I don't understand what you mean by 'it.' You should always try to express yourself clearly. It's really one of the basic rules of the English language. In fact, philosophers might ask what language is even for if not to help us communicate our meaning?"
"But there is something between Cynthia and Roger; they are more to each other than I am to Osborne, for instance. What am I to call it?"
"But there’s something going on between Cynthia and Roger; they mean more to each other than I do to Osborne, for example. What should I call it?"
"You should not couple your name with that of any unmarried young man; it is so difficult to teach you delicacy, child. Perhaps one may say there is a peculiar relation between dear Cynthia and Roger, but it is very difficult to characterize it; I have no doubt that is the reason she shrinks from speaking about it. For, between ourselves, Molly, I really sometimes think it will come to nothing. He is so long away, and, privately speaking, Cynthia is not very, very constant. I once knew her very much taken before—that little affair is quite gone by; and she was very civil to Mr. Henderson, in her way; I fancy she inherits it, for when I was a girl I was beset by lovers, and could never find in my heart to shake them off. You have not heard dear papa say anything of the old Squire, or dear Osborne, have you? It seems so long since we have heard or seen anything of Osborne. But he must be quite well, I think, or we should have heard of it."
"You shouldn't link your name with any unmarried young man; it's so hard to teach you about delicacy, sweetheart. People might say there's something special between dear Cynthia and Roger, but it's tough to define. I’m sure that’s why she hesitates to talk about it. Just between us, Molly, I sometimes think it won’t go anywhere. He’s been gone for so long, and honestly, Cynthia isn’t very reliable. I remember she was really into someone else before—that little fling is completely over now; and she was quite friendly with Mr. Henderson, in her own way. I think she gets it from me because when I was younger, I had many suitors and never had the heart to get rid of them. You haven’t heard dear Papa mention the old Squire or dear Osborne, have you? It feels like forever since we’ve heard or seen anything from Osborne. But I assume he’s fine, or we would have heard something."
"I believe he is quite well. Some one said the other day that they had met him riding—it was Mrs. Goodenough, now I remember—and that he was looking stronger than he had done for years."
"I think he's doing pretty well. Someone mentioned the other day that they saw him riding—oh, it was Mrs. Goodenough, now I recall—and that he looked stronger than he has in years."
"Indeed! I am truly glad to hear it. I always was fond of Osborne; and, do you know, I never really took to Roger? I respected him and all that, of course; but to compare him with Mr. Henderson! Mr. Henderson is so handsome and well-bred, and gets all his gloves from Houbigant!"
"Absolutely! I'm really happy to hear that. I always liked Osborne; and, you know, I never really warmed up to Roger? I respected him and all that, of course; but comparing him to Mr. Henderson! Mr. Henderson is so good-looking and sophisticated, and he gets all his gloves from Houbigant!"
It was true that they had not seen anything of Osborne Hamley for a long time; but, as it often happens, just after they had been speaking about him he appeared. It was on the day following Mr. Gibson's departure that Mrs. Gibson received one of the notes, not so common now as formerly, from the family in town, asking her to go over to the Towers, and find a book, or a manuscript, or something or other that Lady Cumnor wanted with all an invalid's impatience. It was just the kind of employment she required for an amusement on a gloomy day, and it put her into a good humour immediately. There was a certain confidential importance about it, and it was a variety, and it gave her the pleasant drive in a fly up the noble avenue, and the sense of being the temporary mistress of all the grand rooms once so familiar to her. She asked Molly to accompany her, out of an access of kindness, but was not at all sorry when Molly excused herself and preferred stopping at home. At eleven o'clock Mrs. Gibson was off, all in her Sunday best (to use the servant's expression, which she herself would so have contemned), well-dressed in order to impose on the servants at the Towers, for there was no one else to see or to be seen by.
They hadn't seen Osborne Hamley in a long time, but as often happens, he showed up just after they were talking about him. The day after Mr. Gibson left, Mrs. Gibson received one of those notes, which aren’t as common now as they used to be, from the family in town, asking her to go over to the Towers and find a book, a manuscript, or something that Lady Cumnor was eager for, like an impatient invalid. It was exactly the distraction she needed on a gloomy day, and it instantly lifted her mood. There was something important and confidential about it, it was a change of pace, and it gave her a pleasant drive in a carriage up the grand avenue, along with the thrill of being the temporary mistress of all the elegant rooms she once knew so well. She invited Molly to come along out of a burst of kindness but was actually relieved when Molly declined and decided to stay home. At eleven o'clock, Mrs. Gibson set off, dressed in her Sunday best (as the servant would say, though she would have scorned that expression), nicely presented to impress the staff at the Towers because there was no one else to see or be seen by.
"I shall not be at home until the afternoon, my dear! But I hope you will not find it dull. I don't think you will, for you are something like me, my love—never less alone than when alone, as one of the great authors has justly expressed it."
"I won't be home until the afternoon, my dear! But I hope you won't find it boring. I don't think you will, because you're a bit like me, my love—never more alone than when you're by yourself, as one of the great authors wisely put it."
Molly enjoyed the house to herself fully as much as Mrs. Gibson would enjoy having the Towers to herself. She ventured on having her lunch brought upon a tray into the drawing-room, so that she might eat her sandwiches while she went on with her book. In the middle, Mr. Osborne Hamley was announced. He came in, looking wretchedly ill in spite of purblind Mrs. Goodenough's report of his healthy appearance.
Molly fully enjoyed having the house to herself just as much as Mrs. Gibson would enjoy having the Towers to herself. She decided to have her lunch brought to her on a tray in the drawing-room, so she could eat her sandwiches while continuing to read her book. In the middle of this, Mr. Osborne Hamley was announced. He came in, looking extremely unwell despite purblind Mrs. Goodenough's claim that he looked healthy.
"This call is not on you, Molly," said he, after the first greetings were over. "I was in hopes I might have found your father at home; I thought lunch-time was the best hour." He had sate down, as if thoroughly glad of the rest, and fallen into a languid stooping position, as if it had become so natural to him that no sense of what were considered good manners sufficed to restrain him now.
"This call isn't on you, Molly," he said after they exchanged greetings. "I was hoping to find your father at home; I figured lunchtime would be the best time." He sat down, appearing genuinely relieved to take a break, and slumped into a relaxed position, as if it had become so normal for him that any sense of good manners couldn't hold him back now.
"I hope you did not want to see him professionally?" said Molly, wondering if she was wise in alluding to his health, yet urged to it by her real anxiety.
"I hope you didn't want to see him for work?" said Molly, wondering if it was smart to mention his health, but feeling compelled to do so because of her genuine concern.
"Yes, I did. I suppose I may help myself to a biscuit and a glass of wine? No, don't ring for more. I could not eat it if it was here. But I just want a mouthful; this is quite enough, thank you. When will your father be back?"
"Yes, I did. I guess I can help myself to a cookie and a glass of wine? No, don’t call for more. I wouldn't be able to eat it if it were here. But I just want a bite; this is more than enough, thanks. When will your dad be back?"
"He was summoned up to London. Lady Cumnor is worse. I fancy there is some operation going on; but I don't know. He will be back to-morrow night."
"He was called up to London. Lady Cumnor is doing worse. I think there’s some procedure happening, but I’m not sure. He’ll be back tomorrow night."
"Very well. Then I must wait. Perhaps I shall be better by that time. I think it's half fancy; but I should like your father to tell me so. He will laugh at me, I daresay; but I don't think I shall mind that. He always is severe on fanciful patients, isn't he, Molly?"
"Alright then. I guess I’ll have to wait. Maybe I’ll feel better by then. I think it’s mostly just my imagination; but I’d like your dad to confirm that. He’ll probably laugh at me, but I don’t think I’ll care. He’s always tough on patients with wild ideas, right, Molly?"
Molly thought that if he saw Osborne's looks just then he would hardly think him fanciful, or be inclined to be severe. But she only said,—"Papa enjoys a joke at everything, you know. It is a relief after all the sorrow he sees."
Molly figured that if he saw Osborne's expression at that moment, he wouldn't think he was being silly or feel the need to be harsh. But she just said, "Dad loves to joke about everything, you know. It’s a nice break from all the sadness he witnesses."
"Very true. There is a great deal of sorrow in the world. I don't think it's a very happy place after all. So Cynthia is gone to London?" he added, after a pause. "I think I should like to have seen her again. Poor old Roger! He loves her very dearly, Molly," he said. Molly hardly knew how to answer him in all this; she was so struck by the change in both voice and manner.
"That's definitely true. There's a lot of sadness in the world. I don't think it's a very happy place, to be honest. So, Cynthia has gone to London?" he added after a pause. "I wish I could have seen her again. Poor old Roger! He loves her very much, Molly," he said. Molly barely knew how to respond to him; she was so taken aback by the change in both his voice and demeanor.
"Mamma has gone to the Towers," she began, at length. "Lady Cumnor wanted several things that mamma only can find. She will be sorry to miss you. We were speaking of you only yesterday, and she said how long it was since we had seen you."
"Mom has gone to the Towers," she said after a moment. "Lady Cumnor needed a few things that only Mom can find. She’ll be sorry to miss you. We were just talking about you yesterday, and she mentioned how long it’s been since we last saw you."
"I think I've grown careless; I've often felt so weary and ill that it was all I could do to keep up a brave face before my father."
"I think I've become careless; I've often felt so tired and sick that all I could do was put on a brave face in front of my dad."
"Why did you not come and see papa?" said Molly; "or write to him?"
"Why didn't you come and see Dad?" Molly said. "Or write to him?"
"I cannot tell. I drifted on, sometimes better, and sometimes worse, till to-day I mustered up pluck, and came to hear what your father has got to tell me: and all for no use it seems."
"I can't say. I kept going, sometimes feeling better and sometimes worse, until today I found the courage to come and hear what your father has to say to me; and it seems like it was all for nothing."
"I am very sorry. But it is only for two days. He shall go and see you as soon as ever he returns."
"I’m really sorry. But it’s just for two days. He’ll come and see you as soon as he gets back."
"He must not alarm my father, remember, Molly," said Osborne, lifting himself by the arms of his chair into an upright position and speaking eagerly for the moment. "I wish to God Roger was at home!" said he, falling back into the old posture.
"He can't worry my dad, remember that, Molly," said Osborne, pushing himself up from his chair and speaking excitedly for a moment. "I wish to God Roger was home!" he said, slumping back into his old position.
"I can't help understanding you," said Molly. "You think yourself very ill; but isn't it that you are tired just now?" She was not sure if she ought to have understood what was passing in his mind; but as she did, she could not help speaking a true reply.
"I can't help but understand you," Molly said. "You think you're really sick, but isn't it just that you're tired right now?" She wasn't sure if she was meant to understand what was going through his mind; but since she did, she felt compelled to give an honest answer.
"Well, sometimes I do think I'm very ill; and then, again, I think it's only the moping life sets me fancying and exaggerating." He was silent for some time. Then, as if he had taken a sudden resolution, he spoke again. "You see, there are others depending upon me—upon my health. You haven't forgotten what you heard that day in the library at home? No, I know you haven't. I have seen the thought of it in your eyes often since then. I didn't know you at that time. I think I do now."
"Well, sometimes I really believe I'm seriously ill; but then again, I think it’s just the dull life that makes me feel that way and blow things out of proportion." He was quiet for a while. Then, as if he had made a quick decision, he spoke again. "You see, there are other people counting on me—on my health. You haven't forgotten what you heard that day in the library at home, right? No, I know you haven't. I can see that thought in your eyes often since then. I didn’t know you back then. I think I do now."
"Don't go on talking so fast," said Molly. "Rest. No one will interrupt us; I will go on with my sewing; when you want to say anything more I shall be listening." For she was alarmed at the strange pallor that had come over his face.
"Don't talk so fast," Molly said. "Take a break. No one will interrupt us; I'll keep sewing. When you want to say anything else, I'll be listening." She was worried about the strange paleness that had appeared on his face.
"Thank you." After a time he roused himself, and began to speak very quietly, as if on an indifferent matter of fact.
"Thank you." After a while, he pulled himself together and started to speak very softly, as if discussing something trivial.
"The name of my wife is Aimée. Aimée Hamley, of course. She lives at Bishopsfield, a village near Winchester. Write it down, but keep it to yourself. She is a Frenchwoman, a Roman Catholic, and was a servant. She is a thoroughly good woman. I must not say how dear she is to me. I dare not. I meant once to have told Cynthia, but she didn't seem quite to consider me as a brother. Perhaps she was shy of a new relation; but you'll give my love to her, all the same. It is a relief to think that some one else has my secret; and you are like one of us, Molly. I can trust you almost as I can trust Roger. I feel better already, now I feel that some one else knows the whereabouts of my wife and child."
"The name of my wife is Aimée. Aimée Hamley, of course. She lives in Bishopsfield, a village near Winchester. Write it down, but keep it to yourself. She’s French, Roman Catholic, and used to be a servant. She’s a really good person. I can’t say how much she means to me. I shouldn’t. I once thought about telling Cynthia, but she didn’t seem to see me as a brother. Maybe she was just shy about having a new family member; but please send her my love anyway. It’s a relief to know that someone else knows my secret, and you’re like one of us, Molly. I can trust you almost as much as I can trust Roger. I already feel better now that I know someone else is aware of where my wife and child are."
"Child!" said Molly, surprised. But before he could reply, Maria had announced, "Miss Phœbe Browning."
"Child!" Molly exclaimed, surprised. But before he could respond, Maria announced, "Miss Phœbe Browning."
"Fold up that paper," said he, quickly, putting something into her hands. "It is only for yourself."
"Fold up that paper," he said quickly, putting something in her hands. "It's just for you."
CHAPTER XLVI.
HOLLINGFORD GOSSIPS.
y dear Molly, why
didn't you come and dine with us? I said to
sister I would come and scold you well. Oh, Mr. Osborne Hamley, is
that you?" and a look of mistaken intelligence at the tête-à-tête she
had disturbed came so perceptibly over Miss Phœbe's face that
Molly caught Osborne's sympathetic eye, and both smiled at the
notion.
My dear Molly, why didn't you come and have dinner with us? I told my sister I would come and give you a good talking-to. Oh, Mr. Osborne Hamley, is that you?" A look of misplaced understanding about the private conversation she had interrupted crossed Miss Phœbe's face so clearly that Molly caught Osborne's knowing glance, and they both smiled at the idea.
"I'm sure I—well! one must sometimes—I see our dinner would have been—" Then she recovered herself into a connected sentence. "We only just heard of Mrs. Gibson's having a fly from the 'George,' because sister sent our Nancy to pay for a couple of rabbits Tom Ostler had snared, (I hope we shan't be taken up for poachers, Mr. Osborne—snaring doesn't require a licence, I believe?) and she heard he was gone off with the fly to the Towers with your dear mamma; for Coxe who drives the fly in general has sprained his ankle. We had just finished dinner, but when Nancy said Tom Ostler would not be back till night, I said, 'Why, there's that poor dear girl left all alone by herself, and her mother such a friend of ours,'—when she was alive, I mean. But I'm sure I'm glad I'm mistaken."
"I'm sure I—well! sometimes you have to—I see our dinner would have been— Then she collected herself into a complete thought. "We only just found out that Mrs. Gibson took a carriage from the 'George' because my sister sent our Nancy to pay for a couple of rabbits that Tom Ostler had caught, (I hope we won’t get in trouble for poaching, Mr. Osborne—snaring doesn’t need a license, I think?) and she heard he left with the carriage to the Towers with your dear mom; because Coxe, who usually drives the carriage, has sprained his ankle. We had just finished dinner, but when Nancy said Tom Ostler wouldn’t be back until night, I said, ‘Why, that poor dear girl is left all alone by herself, and her mother was such a good friend of ours,’—when she was alive, I mean. But I'm really glad I was wrong."
Osborne said,—"I came to speak to Mr. Gibson, not knowing he had gone to London, and Miss Gibson kindly gave me some of her lunch. I must go now."
Osborne said, "I came to talk to Mr. Gibson, not realizing he had gone to London, and Miss Gibson kindly shared some of her lunch with me. I have to go now."
"Oh dear! I am so sorry," fluttered out Miss Phœbe, "I disturbed you; but it was with the best intentions. I always was mal-àpropos from a child." But Osborne was gone before she had finished her apologies. As he left, his eyes met Molly's with a strange look of yearning farewell that struck her at the time, and that she remembered strongly afterwards. "Such a nice suitable thing, and I came in the midst, and spoilt it all. I am sure you're very kind, my dear, considering—"
"Oh no! I'm so sorry," Miss Phœbe said, "I interrupted you; but I meant well. I've always had a knack for being out of place since I was a child." But Osborne was already gone before she finished her apologies. As he left, his eyes met Molly's with a strange look of longing goodbye that impacted her at that moment, and that she remembered vividly later. "Such a nice, appropriate moment, and I walked in and ruined everything. I’m sure you're very kind, my dear, thinking about—"
"Considering what, my dear Miss Phœbe? If you are conjecturing a love affair between Mr. Osborne Hamley and me, you never were more mistaken in your life. I think I told you so once before. Please do believe me."
"Considering what, my dear Miss Phoebe? If you think there's a love affair between Mr. Osborne Hamley and me, you couldn't be more wrong. I believe I mentioned that to you before. Please believe me."
"Oh, yes! I remember. And somehow sister got it into her head it was Mr. Preston. I recollect."
"Oh, yes! I remember. And somehow my sister thought it was Mr. Preston. I remember."
"One guess is just as wrong as the other," said Molly, smiling, and trying to look perfectly indifferent, but going extremely red at the mention of Mr. Preston's name. It was very difficult for her to keep up any conversation, for her heart was full of Osborne—his changed appearance, his melancholy words of foreboding, and his confidences about his wife—French, Catholic, servant. Molly could not help trying to piece these strange facts together by imaginations of her own, and found it very hard work to attend to kind Miss Phœbe's unceasing patter. She came up to the point, however, when the voice ceased; and could recall, in a mechanical manner, the echo of the last words, which both from Miss Phœbe's look, and the dying accent that lingered in Molly's ear, she perceived to be a question. Miss Phœbe was asking her if she would go out with her. She was going to Grinstead's, the bookseller of Hollingford; who, in addition to his regular business, was the agent for the Hollingford Book Society, received their subscriptions, kept their accounts, ordered their books from London, and, on payment of a small salary, allowed the Society to keep their volumes on shelves in his shop. It was the centre of news, and the club, as it were, of the little town. Everybody who pretended to gentility in the place belonged to it. It was a test of gentility, indeed, rather than of education or a love of literature. No shopkeeper would have thought of offering himself as a member, however great his general intelligence and love of reading; while it boasted on its list of subscribers most of the county families in the neighbourhood, some of whom subscribed to it as a sort of duty belonging to their station, without often using their privilege of reading the books: while there were residents in the little town, such as Mrs. Goodenough, who privately thought reading a great waste of time, that might be much better employed in sewing, and knitting, and pastry-making, but who nevertheless belonged to it as a mark of station, just as these good, motherly women would have thought it a terrible come-down in the world if they had not had a pretty young servant-maid to fetch them home from the tea-parties at night. At any rate, Grinstead's was a very convenient place for a lounge. In that view of the Book Society every one agreed.
"One guess is just as wrong as the other," Molly said with a smile, trying to appear completely indifferent but turning really red at the mention of Mr. Preston. It was tough for her to keep up any conversation because her mind was filled with thoughts of Osborne—his changed look, his gloomy warnings, and what he confided about his wife—French, Catholic, and a servant. Molly couldn’t help but try to piece together these odd details in her own imagination, and it took a lot of effort to pay attention to Miss Phœbe’s constant chatter. However, she finally tuned in when the talking stopped and could mechanically recall the last words, which, from Miss Phœbe's expression and the fading tone in Molly's ear, she realized was a question. Miss Phœbe was asking her if she wanted to go out with her. She was heading to Grinstead’s, the local bookseller in Hollingford, who, besides his regular business, was the agent for the Hollingford Book Society. He managed their subscriptions, kept the accounts, ordered books from London, and allowed the Society to store their volumes on shelves in his shop for a small fee. It was the go-to spot for news and a kind of club for the small town. Everyone who wanted to appear respectable was a member. It was more of a gentility test than a measure of education or love for literature. No shopkeeper would dream of joining, no matter how knowledgeable or passionate about reading they were, while the subscriber list boasted many of the county’s prominent families, some of whom joined as a duty of their status without often taking advantage of their reading privileges. There were people in the little town, like Mrs. Goodenough, who secretly thought reading was a waste of time better spent on sewing, knitting, and baking. Still, she belonged to it as a sign of her social standing, just as these nurturing women would feel it was a serious downgrade if they didn’t have a pretty young maid to escort them home from tea parties at night. In any case, Grinstead's was a super convenient place to hang out, and everyone agreed on that about the Book Society.
Molly went upstairs to get ready to accompany Miss Phœbe; and on opening one of her drawers she saw Cynthia's envelope, containing the money she owed to Mr. Preston, carefully sealed up like a letter. This was what Molly had so unwillingly promised to deliver—the last final stroke to the affair. Molly took it up, hating it. For a time she had forgotten it; and now it was here, facing her, and she must try and get rid of it. She put it into her pocket for the chances of the walk and the day, and fortune for once seemed to befriend her; for, on their entering Grinstead's shop, in which two or three people were now, as always, congregated, making play of examining the books, or business of writing down the titles of new works in the order-book, there was Mr. Preston. He bowed as they came in. He could not help that; but, at the sight of Molly, he looked as ill-tempered and out of humour as a man well could do. She was connected in his mind with defeat and mortification; and besides, the sight of her called up what he desired now, above all things, to forget; namely, the deep conviction, received through Molly's simple earnestness, of Cynthia's dislike to him. If Miss Phœbe had seen the scowl upon his handsome face, she might have undeceived her sister in her suppositions about him and Molly. But Miss Phœbe, who did not consider it quite maidenly to go and stand close to Mr. Preston, and survey the shelves of books in such close proximity to a gentleman, found herself an errand at the other end of the shop, and occupied herself in buying writing-paper. Molly fingered her valuable letter, as it lay in her pocket; did she dare to cross over to Mr. Preston, and give it to him, or not? While she was still undecided, shrinking always just at the moment when she thought she had got her courage up for action, Miss Phœbe, having finished her purchase, turned round, and after looking a little pathetically at Mr. Preston's back, said to Molly in a whisper—"I think we'll go to Johnson's now, and come back for the books in a little while." So across the street to Johnson's they went; but no sooner had they entered the draper's shop, than Molly's conscience smote her for her cowardice, and loss of a good opportunity. "I'll be back directly," said she, as soon as Miss Phœbe was engaged with her purchases; and Molly ran across to Grinstead's, without looking either to the right or the left; she had been watching the door, and she knew that no Mr. Preston had issued forth. She ran in; he was at the counter now, talking to Grinstead himself; Molly put the letter into his hand, to his surprise, and almost against his will, and turned round to go back to Miss Phœbe. At the door of the shop stood Mrs. Goodenough, arrested in the act of entering, staring, with her round eyes, made still rounder and more owl-like by spectacles, to see Molly Gibson giving Mr. Preston a letter, which he, conscious of being watched, and favouring underhand practices habitually, put quickly into his pocket, unopened. Perhaps, if he had had time for reflection he would not have scrupled to put Molly to open shame, by rejecting what she so eagerly forced upon him.
Molly went upstairs to get ready to go with Miss Phœbe; and when she opened one of her drawers, she saw Cynthia's envelope, containing the money she owed Mr. Preston, carefully sealed like a letter. This was what Molly had so reluctantly promised to deliver—the final piece of the puzzle. Molly picked it up, filled with dislike. For a while, she had forgotten about it; now it was right in front of her, and she had to figure out how to get rid of it. She slipped it into her pocket for the walk and the day, and luck seemed to be on her side for once; because as they entered Grinstead's shop, where a few people were always gathered, casually examining books or writing down new titles in the order book, there was Mr. Preston. He nodded as they came in. He couldn't help that; but when he saw Molly, he looked as grumpy and irritable as a man could. In his mind, she was connected to defeat and embarrassment; plus, seeing her reminded him of what he now wanted to forget the most—his strong realization, instilled by Molly's simple sincerity, of Cynthia's dislike for him. If Miss Phœbe had noticed the scowl on his handsome face, she might have changed her sister's assumptions about him and Molly. But Miss Phœbe, who didn't think it was quite proper to stand too close to Mr. Preston and browse the books in such proximity to a gentleman, found herself busy at the other end of the shop, buying writing paper. Molly fiddled with her important letter as it lay in her pocket; did she dare to walk over to Mr. Preston and give it to him? As she hesitated, always pulling back just as she thought she had gathered the courage to act, Miss Phœbe, having finished her purchase, turned around and, after looking a bit sadly at Mr. Preston's back, whispered to Molly, “I think we’ll head to Johnson’s now and come back for the books in a little while.” So they crossed the street to Johnson's; but as soon as they entered the draper's shop, Molly felt guilty for her cowardice and for missing a good opportunity. “I’ll be back right away,” she said as soon as Miss Phœbe got involved with her shopping; and Molly dashed across to Grinstead's without looking to the right or left; she had been watching the door, and she knew that Mr. Preston hadn’t come out. She hurried in; he was at the counter now, talking to Grinstead himself. Molly handed the letter to him, surprising him and almost forcing it into his hand, and turned around to return to Miss Phœbe. At the shop door stood Mrs. Goodenough, caught in the act of entering, staring with her round eyes, made even rounder and more owl-like by her glasses, in shock at seeing Molly Gibson giving Mr. Preston a letter, which he, aware of being watched and habitually favoring underhanded tactics, quickly tucked into his pocket, unopened. Perhaps if he had had a moment to think, he wouldn’t have hesitated to publicly shame Molly by rejecting what she so eagerly forced upon him.
There was another long evening to be got through with Mrs. Gibson; but on this occasion there was the pleasant occupation of dinner, which took up at least an hour; for it was one of Mrs. Gibson's fancies—one which Molly chafed against—to have every ceremonial gone through in the same stately manner for two as for twenty. So, although Molly knew full well, and her stepmother knew full well, and Maria knew full well, that neither Mrs. Gibson nor Molly touched dessert, it was set on the table with as much form as if Cynthia had been at home, who delighted in almonds and raisins; or Mr. Gibson been there, who never could resist dates, though he always protested against "persons in their station of life having a formal dessert set out before them every day."
It was another long evening to get through with Mrs. Gibson; but this time they had the nice distraction of dinner, which lasted at least an hour. This was one of Mrs. Gibson's quirks—one that Molly found annoying—where every ritual was performed as formally for two as it would be for twenty. So, even though Molly, her stepmother, and Maria all knew that neither Mrs. Gibson nor Molly would eat dessert, it was still placed on the table with as much formality as if Cynthia were home, who loved almonds and raisins, or if Mr. Gibson were there, who could never say no to dates, even though he always complained about "people in their position having a formal dessert laid out for them every day."
And Mrs. Gibson herself apologized, as it were, to Molly to-day, in the same words she had often used to Mr. Gibson,—"It's no extravagance, for we need not eat it—I never do. But it looks well, and makes Maria understand what is required in the daily life of every family of position."
And Mrs. Gibson herself apologized to Molly today, using the same words she had often said to Mr. Gibson — "It's not an extravagance, because we don't have to eat it — I never do. But it looks nice, and it helps Maria understand what is expected in the daily life of every family of standing."
All through the evening Molly's thoughts wandered far and wide, though she managed to keep up a show of attention to what Mrs. Gibson was saying. She was thinking of Osborne, and his abrupt, half-finished confidence, and his ill-looks; she was wondering when Roger would come home, and longing for his return, as much (she said to herself) for Osborne's sake as for her own. And then she checked herself. What had she to do with Roger? Why should she long for his return? It was Cynthia who was doing this; only somehow he was such a true friend to Molly, that she could not help thinking of him as a staff and a stay in the troublous times which appeared to lie not far ahead—this evening. Then Mr. Preston and her little adventure with him came uppermost. How angry he looked! How could Cynthia have liked him even enough to get into this abominable scrape, which was, however, all over now! And so she ran on in her fancies and imaginations, little dreaming that that very night much talk was going on not half-a-mile from where she sate sewing, that would prove that the "scrape" (as she called it, in her girlish phraseology) was not all over.
All evening, Molly's mind wandered everywhere, even though she put on an act of listening to what Mrs. Gibson was saying. She was thinking about Osborne, his sudden, unfinished confession, and his bad looks; she was wondering when Roger would come home and missing him as much (she told herself) for Osborne's sake as for her own. Then she snapped back to reality. What did she care about Roger? Why should she want him back? It was Cynthia who was responsible for this; yet somehow, he was such a true friend to Molly that she couldn't help but think of him as a support during the troubling times that seemed to be just around the corner—tonight. Then she recalled Mr. Preston and her little adventure with him. He had looked so angry! How could Cynthia have liked him even enough to get into this terrible situation, which was, anyway, all behind them now! And so she continued with her daydreams, unaware that that very night, just half a mile from where she sat sewing, much discussion was happening that would prove the "situation" (as she called it, in her youthful way) was far from over.
Scandal sleeps in the summer, comparatively speaking. Its nature is the reverse of that of the dormouse. Warm ambient air, loiterings abroad, gardenings, flowers to talk about, and preserves to make, soothed the wicked imp to slumber in the parish of Hollingford in summer-time. But when evenings grew short, and people gathered round the fires, and put their feet in a circle—not on the fenders, that was not allowed—then was the time for confidential conversation! Or in the pauses allowed for the tea-trays to circulate among the card-tables—when those who were peaceably inclined tried to stop the warm discussions about "the odd trick," and the rather wearisome feminine way of "shouldering the crutch, and showing how fields were won"—small crumbs and scraps of daily news came up to the surface, such as "Martindale has raised the price of his best joints a halfpenny in the pound;" or, "It's a shame of Sir Harry to order in another book on farriery into the Book Society; Phœbe and I tried to read it, but really there is no general interest in it;" or, "I wonder what Mr. Ashton will do, now Nancy is going to be married! Why, she's been with him these seventeen years! It's a very foolish thing for a woman of her age to be thinking of matrimony; and so I told her, when I met her in the market-place this morning!"
Scandal takes a break in the summer, relatively speaking. Its nature is the opposite of that of the dormouse. The warm air, outdoor strolls, gardening, conversations about flowers, and making preserves lulled the mischievous spirit to sleep in the parish of Hollingford during the summer. But when the evenings got shorter, and people gathered around the fires, sitting in a circle—keeping their feet off the fenders, which wasn't allowed—that was the time for private conversations! Or during the breaks when the tea trays were passed around the card tables—when those who preferred peace tried to quiet the heated debates over “the odd trick,” and the somewhat tiresome way women would “shoulder the crutch and show how fields were won”—little bits of daily news would surface, like “Martindale raised the price of his best cuts by a halfpenny per pound,” or “It's ridiculous of Sir Harry to order another book on farriery for the Book Society; Phœbe and I tried to read it, but honestly, there isn’t any general interest in it,” or “I wonder what Mr. Ashton will do now that Nancy is getting married! She's been with him for seventeen years! It's pretty silly for a woman her age to be thinking about marriage; I told her that when I saw her at the market this morning!”
So said Miss Browning on the night in question; her hand of cards lying by her on the puce baize-covered table, while she munched the rich pound-cake of a certain Mrs. Dawes, lately come to inhabit Hollingford.
So said Miss Browning on the night in question; her hand of cards lying beside her on the dark green felt-covered table, while she munched on the rich pound cake from a certain Mrs. Dawes, who had recently come to live in Hollingford.
"Matrimony's not so bad as you think for, Miss Browning," said Mrs. Goodenough, standing up for the holy estate into which she had twice entered. "If I'd ha' seen Nancy, I should ha' given her my mind very different. It's a great thing to be able to settle what you'll have for dinner, without never a one interfering with you."
"Matrimony isn't as bad as you think, Miss Browning," said Mrs. Goodenough, defending the sacred institution she had entered twice. "If I had seen Nancy, I would have told her something completely different. It's a wonderful thing to decide what you'll have for dinner without anyone interfering."
"If that's all!" said Miss Browning, drawing herself up, "I can do that; and, perhaps, better than a woman who has a husband to please."
"If that's all!" said Miss Browning, straightening herself, "I can do that; and maybe even better than a woman who has a husband to satisfy."
"No one can say as I didn't please my husbands—both on 'em, though Jeremy was tickler in his tastes than poor Harry Beaver. But as I used to say to 'em, 'Leave the victual to me; it's better for you than knowing what's to come beforehand. The stomach likes to be taken by surprise.' And neither of 'em ever repented 'em of their confidence. You may take my word for it, beans and bacon will taste better (and Mr. Ashton's Nancy in her own house) than all the sweetbreads and spring chickens she's been a-doing for him this seventeen years. But if I chose, I could tell you of something as would interest you all a deal more than old Nancy's marriage to a widower with nine children—only as the young folks themselves is meeting in private, clandestine-like, it's perhaps not for me to tell their secrets."
"No one can say that I didn’t please my husbands—both of them, although Jeremy was pickier than poor Harry Beaver. But as I always told them, 'Leave the cooking to me; it’s better for you not to know what’s coming. The stomach enjoys a surprise.' And neither of them ever regretted trusting me. You can take my word for it, beans and bacon will taste better (and Mr. Ashton’s Nancy in her own house) than all the sweetbreads and spring chickens she’s been making for him all these seventeen years. But if I wanted to, I could tell you something that would interest you a lot more than old Nancy’s marriage to a widower with nine kids—only since the young folks are meeting in private, secretly, it’s probably not my place to share their secrets."
"I'm sure I don't want to hear of clandestine meetings between young men and young women," said Miss Browning, throwing up her head. "It's disgrace enough to the people themselves, I consider, if they enter on a love affair without the proper sanction of parents. I know public opinion has changed on the subject; but when poor Gratia was married to Mr. Byerley, he wrote to my father without ever having so much as paid her a compliment, or said more than the most trivial and commonplace things to her; and my father and mother sent for her into my father's study, and she said she was never so much frightened in her life,—and they said it was a very good offer, and Mr. Byerley was a very worthy man, and they hoped she would behave properly to him when he came to supper that night. And after that he was allowed to come twice a week till they were married. My mother and I sate at our work in the bow-window of the Rectory drawing-room, and Gratia and Mr. Byerley at the other end; and my mother always called my attention to some flower or plant in the garden when it struck nine, for that was his time for going. Without offence to the present company, I am rather inclined to look upon matrimony as a weakness to which some very worthy people are prone; but if they must be married, let them make the best of it, and go through the affair with dignity and propriety: or if there are misdoings and clandestine meetings, and such things, at any rate, never let me hear about them! I think it's you to play, Mrs. Dawes. You'll excuse my frankness on the subject of matrimony! Mrs. Goodenough there can tell you I'm a very out-spoken person."
"I'm sure I don't want to hear about secret meetings between young men and women," said Miss Browning, tossing her head. "It's shameful enough for the people involved if they start a romantic relationship without their parents' approval. I know public opinion has shifted on this issue, but when poor Gratia married Mr. Byerley, he wrote to my father without ever paying her a compliment or saying anything more than the most basic and trivial things to her. My father and mother called her into my father's study, and she said she had never been so scared in her life. They said it was a very good offer, that Mr. Byerley was a decent man, and they hoped she'd treat him well when he came for dinner that night. After that, he was allowed to come twice a week until they got married. My mother and I sat working in the bow-window of the Rectory drawing-room, while Gratia and Mr. Byerley sat at the other end, and my mother would always draw my attention to some flower or plant in the garden when it struck nine, because that was when he had to leave. Without offending anyone here, I tend to see marriage as a weakness that some very decent people fall into; but if they must get married, they should make the best of it and handle it with dignity and propriety. And if there are any sneaky meetings or misbehaviors, just please don’t let me hear about them! I think it's your turn to play, Mrs. Dawes. You’ll have to forgive my bluntness about marriage! Mrs. Goodenough can tell you I'm quite open and straightforward."
"It's not the out-speaking, it's what you say that goes against me, Miss Browning," said Mrs. Goodenough, affronted, yet ready to play her card as soon as needed. And as for Mrs. Dawes, she was too anxious to get into the genteelest of all (Hollingford) society to object to whatever Miss Browning (who, in right of being a deceased rector's daughter, rather represented the selectest circle of the little town) advocated, whether celibacy, marriage, bigamy, or polygamy.
"It's not about how you say it, it's what you say that bothers me, Miss Browning," Mrs. Goodenough said, offended but ready to make her move when the time was right. As for Mrs. Dawes, she was too eager to fit into the most refined social scene in Hollingford to challenge anything Miss Browning suggested—whether it was single life, marriage, bigamy, or polygamy—since Miss Browning, as the daughter of a deceased rector, represented the most exclusive circle in the small town.
So the remainder of the evening passed over without any further reference to the secret Mrs. Goodenough was burning to disclose, unless a remark made àpropos de rien by Miss Browning, during the silence of a deal, could be supposed to have connection with the previous conversation. She said suddenly and abruptly,—
So the rest of the evening went by without any further mention of the secret that Mrs. Goodenough was eager to share, unless a comment made out of the blue by Miss Browning during a lull in the conversation could be linked to what had been said earlier. She suddenly and suddenly—
"I don't know what I have done that any man should make me his slave." If she was referring to any prospect of matrimonial danger she saw opening before her fancy, she might have been comforted. But it was a remark of which no one took any notice, all being far too much engaged in the rubber. Only when Miss Browning took her early leave (for Miss Phœbe had a cold, and was an invalid at home), Mrs. Goodenough burst out with—
"I don't understand what I've done to make any man think he can treat me like his slave." If she was worried about any threat of marriage looming ahead, she might have found some comfort. But it was a comment that nobody paid attention to, as everyone was too absorbed in the card game. Only when Miss Browning left early (since Miss Phœbe had a cold and was laid up at home) did Mrs. Goodenough finally speak up with—
"Well! now I may speak out my mind, and say as how if there was a slave between us two, when Goodenough was alive, it wasn't me; and I don't think as it was pretty in Miss Browning to give herself such airs on her virginity when there was four widows in the room,—who've had six honest men among 'em for husbands. No offence, Miss Airy!" addressing an unfortunate little spinster, who found herself the sole representative of celibacy now that Miss Browning was gone. "I could tell her of a girl as she's very fond on, who's on the high road to matrimony; and in as cunning a way as ever I heerd on; going out at dusk to meet her sweetheart, just as if she was my Sally, or your Jenny. And her name is Molly too,—which, as I have often thought, shows a low taste in them as first called her so;—she might as well be a scullery-maid at oncest. Not that she's picked up anybody common; she's looked about her for a handsome fellow, and a smart young man enough!"
"Well! Now I can speak my mind and say that if there was a slave between us two when Goodenough was alive, it wasn't me; and I don’t think it was very classy of Miss Browning to act so superior about her virginity when there were four widows in the room—who’ve had six decent men among them for husbands. No offense, Miss Airy!" I addressed an unfortunate little spinster, who found herself the only representative of celibacy now that Miss Browning was gone. "I could tell her about a girl she's really fond of, who's on the fast track to marriage; and in a sneaky way like I've never heard of; sneaking out at dusk to meet her boyfriend, just like my Sally or your Jenny. And her name is Molly too—which, as I have often thought, shows a lack of taste in those who named her; she might as well be a maid right off the bat. Not that she's picked up anyone beneath her; she's on the lookout for a handsome guy and a smart young man!"
Every one around the table looked curious and intent on the disclosures being made, except the hostess, Mrs. Dawes, who smiled intelligence with her eyes, and knowingly pursed up her mouth until Mrs. Goodenough had finished her tale. Then she said demurely,—
Every person at the table looked curious and focused on the revelations being shared, except for the hostess, Mrs. Dawes, who showed a knowing sparkle in her eyes and playfully pursed her lips until Mrs. Goodenough finished her story. Then she said shyly,
"I suppose you mean Mr. Preston and Miss Gibson?"
"I guess you're referring to Mr. Preston and Miss Gibson?"
"Why, who told you?" said Mrs. Goodenough, turning round upon her in surprise. "You can't say as I did. There's many a Molly in Hollingford, besides her,—though none, perhaps, in such a genteel station in life. I never named her, I'm sure."
“Why, who told you?” Mrs. Goodenough asked, turning to her in surprise. “You can’t say it was me. There are plenty of Mollys in Hollingford, besides her—though maybe none with such a fancy background. I never mentioned her, I’m sure.”
"No. But I know. I could tell my tale too," continued Mrs. Dawes.
"No. But I know. I could share my story too," continued Mrs. Dawes.
"No! could you, really?" said Mrs. Goodenough, very curious and a little jealous.
"No! Can you really?" said Mrs. Goodenough, very curious and a little jealous.
"Yes. My uncle Sheepshanks came upon them in the Park Avenue,—he startled 'em a good deal, he said; and when he taxed Mr. Preston with being with his sweetheart, he didn't deny it."
"Yeah. My uncle Sheepshanks ran into them on Park Avenue—he really surprised them, he said; and when he confronted Mr. Preston about being with his girlfriend, he didn’t deny it."
"Well! Now so much has come out, I'll tell you what I know. Only, ladies, I wouldn't wish to do the girl an unkind turn,—so you must keep what I've got to tell you a secret." Of course they promised; that was easy.
"Well! Now that so much has come out, I'll tell you what I know. But ladies, I wouldn’t want to do the girl a disservice, so you have to keep what I’m about to tell you a secret." Of course they promised; that was easy.
"My Hannah, as married Tom Oakes, and lives in Pearson's Lane, was a-gathering of damsons only a week ago, and Molly Gibson was a-walking fast down the lane,—quite in a hurry like to meet some one,—and Hannah's little Anna-Maria fell down, and Molly (who's a kind-hearted lass enough) picked her up; so if Hannah had had her doubts before, she had none then."
"My Hannah, who is married to Tom Oakes and lives on Pearson's Lane, was picking damsons just a week ago. Molly Gibson was walking quickly down the lane—clearly in a hurry to meet someone—and Hannah’s little Anna-Maria fell down. Molly, being a kind-hearted girl, picked her up; so if Hannah had any doubts before, she had none then."
"But there was no one with her, was there?" asked one of the ladies, anxiously, as Mrs. Goodenough stopped to finish her piece of cake, just at this crisis.
"But there was no one with her, right?" asked one of the ladies, anxiously, as Mrs. Goodenough paused to finish her piece of cake, right at this moment.
"No: I said she looked as if she was going to meet some one,—and by-and-by comes Mr. Preston running out of the wood just beyond Hannah's, and says he, 'A cup of water, please, good woman, for a lady has fainted, or is 'sterical or something.' Now though he didn't know Hannah, Hannah knew him. 'More folks know Tom Fool, than Tom Fool knows,' asking Mr. Preston's pardon; for he's no fool whatever he be. And I could tell you more,—and what I've seed with my own eyes. I seed her give him a letter in Grinstead's shop, only yesterday, and he looked as black as thunder at her, for he seed me if she didn't."
"No: I said she looked like she was about to meet someone—and then Mr. Preston came running out of the woods just past Hannah's place, and he said, 'A cup of water, please, kind lady, because a woman has fainted or is hysterical or something.' Now even though he didn't know Hannah, she recognized him. 'More people know Tom Fool than Tom Fool knows,' if I may say so about Mr. Preston, because he's no fool, no matter what he seems. And I could tell you more—and what I've seen with my own eyes. I saw her give him a letter in Grinstead's shop just yesterday, and he looked as angry as a storm cloud at her because he saw me if she didn’t."
"It's a very suitable kind of thing," said Miss Airy; "why do they make such a mystery of it?"
"It's a really appropriate thing," said Miss Airy; "why do they make such a big deal out of it?"
"Some folks like it," said Mrs. Dawes; "it adds zest to it all, to do their courting underhand."
"Some people like it," said Mrs. Dawes; "it brings excitement to everything, to do their dating secretly."
"Ay, it's like salt to their victual," put in Mrs. Goodenough. "But I didn't think Molly Gibson was one of that sort, I didn't."
"Yeah, it's like salt to their food," added Mrs. Goodenough. "But I didn't think Molly Gibson was like that, I really didn't."
"The Gibsons hold themselves very high?" cried Mrs. Dawes, more as an inquiry than an assertion. "Mrs. Gibson has called upon me."
"The Gibsons think very highly of themselves?" exclaimed Mrs. Dawes, more as a question than a statement. "Mrs. Gibson has come to visit me."
"Ay, you're like to be a patient of the doctor's," put in Mrs. Goodenough.
"Ay, you’re likely to be a patient of the doctor’s," added Mrs. Goodenough.
"She seemed to me very affable, though she is so intimate with the Countess and the family at the Towers; and is quite the lady herself; dines late, I've heard, and everything in style."
"She seemed very friendly to me, even though she's so close with the Countess and the family at the Towers; and she carries herself like a true lady; I’ve heard she dines late, and everything is done with style."
"Style! very different style to what Bob Gibson, her husband, was used to when first he came here,—glad of a mutton-chop in his surgery, for I doubt if he'd a fire anywhere else; we called him Bob Gibson then, but none on us dare Bob him now; I'd as soon think o' calling him sweep!"
"Style! It's a completely different style from what Bob Gibson, her husband, was used to when he first came here—happy to have a mutton chop in his office, because I doubt he had a fire anywhere else; we called him Bob Gibson back then, but none of us would dare call him that now; I might as well think of calling him the janitor!"
"I think it looks very bad for Miss Gibson!" said one lady, rather anxious to bring back the conversation to the more interesting present time. But as soon as Mrs. Goodenough heard this natural comment on the disclosures she had made, she fired round on the speaker:—
"I think it looks really bad for Miss Gibson!" said one lady, eager to steer the conversation back to the more engaging present. But as soon as Mrs. Goodenough heard this straightforward remark about the revelations she had shared, she snapped back at the speaker:—
"Not at all bad, and I'll trouble you not to use such a word as that about Molly Gibson, as I've known all her life. It's odd if you will. I was odd myself as a girl; I never could abide a plate of gathered gooseberries, but I must needs go and skulk behind a bush and gather 'em for myself. It's some folk's taste, though it mayn't be Miss Browning's, who'd have all the courting done under the nose of the family. All as ever I said was that I was surprised at it in Molly Gibson; and that I'd ha' thought it was liker that pretty piece of a Cynthia as they call her; indeed, at one time I was ready to swear as it was her Mr. Preston was after. And now, ladies, I'll wish you a very good night. I cannot abide waste; and I'll venture for it Sally's letting the candle in the lantern run all to grease, instead of putting it out, as I've told her to do, if ever she's got to wait for me."
"Not bad at all, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't use that word about Molly Gibson, since I've known her all her life. It's a bit strange, if you think about it. I was strange myself as a girl; I could never stand a plate of gathered gooseberries, but I would sneak behind a bush to pick them for myself. It's just some people's taste, even if it's not Miss Browning's, who would want all the courting to happen right in front of the family. All I said was that I was surprised by it in Molly Gibson; I would have thought it was more like that pretty girl Cynthia, as they call her. In fact, at one point, I was ready to swear that Mr. Preston was after her. And now, ladies, I wish you all a very good night. I can't stand waste; and I'm betting Sally is letting the candle in the lantern burn all the way down instead of putting it out, like I told her to do if she ever has to wait for me."
So with formal dipping curtseys the ladies separated, but not without thanking Mrs. Dawes for the pleasant evening they had had; a piece of old-fashioned courtesy always gone through in those days.
So with formal dipping curtsies, the ladies parted ways, but not without thanking Mrs. Dawes for the enjoyable evening they had; a bit of old-fashioned politeness that was always observed back then.
CHAPTER XLVII.
SCANDAL AND ITS VICTIMS.
When Mr. Gibson returned to Hollingford, he found an accumulation of business waiting for him, and he was much inclined to complain of the consequences of the two days' comparative holiday, which had resulted in over-work for the week to come. He had hardly time to speak to his family, he had so immediately to rush off to pressing cases of illness. But Molly managed to arrest him in the hall, standing there with his great coat held out ready for him to put on, but whispering as she did so—
When Mr. Gibson returned to Hollingford, he found a pile of work waiting for him, and he really wanted to complain about how the two days of relative freedom led to a hectic week ahead. He barely had time to talk to his family before he had to rush off to urgent cases of illness. But Molly managed to stop him in the hallway, standing there with his coat ready for him to put on, but whispering as she did so—
"Papa! Mr. Osborne Hamley was here to see you yesterday. He looks very ill, and he's evidently frightened about himself."
"Hey Dad! Mr. Osborne Hamley came by to see you yesterday. He looks really sick, and he seems pretty scared about his condition."
Mr. Gibson faced about, and looked at her for a moment; but all he said was—
Mr. Gibson turned around and glanced at her for a moment; but all he said was—
"I'll go and see him; don't tell your mother where I'm gone: you've not mentioned this to her, I hope?"
"I'll go see him; don't tell your mom where I've gone: you didn't mention this to her, right?"
"No," said Molly, for she had only told Mrs. Gibson of Osborne's call, not of the occasion for it.
"No," said Molly, because she had only mentioned Osborne's visit to Mrs. Gibson, not the reason for it.
"Don't say anything about it; there's no need. Now I think of it, I can't possibly go to-day,—but I will go."
"Don't mention it; there's no need. Now that I think about it, I can't possibly go today—but I will go."
Something in her father's manner disheartened Molly, who had persuaded herself that Osborne's evident illness was partly "nervous," by which she meant imaginary. She had dwelt upon his looks of enjoyment at Miss Phœbe's perplexity, and thought that no one really believing himself to be in danger could have given the merry glances which he had done; but after seeing the seriousness of her father's face, she recurred to the shock she had experienced on first seeing Osborne's changed appearance. All this time Mrs. Gibson was busy reading a letter from Cynthia which Mr. Gibson had brought from London; for every opportunity of private conveyance was seized upon when postage was so high; and Cynthia had forgotten so many things in her hurried packing, that she now sent a list of the clothes which she required. Molly almost wondered that it had not come to her; but she did not understand the sort of reserve that was springing up in Cynthia's mind towards her. Cynthia herself struggled with the feeling, and tried to fight against it by calling herself "ungrateful;" but the truth was, she believed that she no longer held her former high place in Molly's estimation and she could not help turning away from one who knew things to her discredit. She was fully aware of Molly's prompt decision and willing action, where action was especially disagreeable, on her behalf; she knew that Molly would never bring up the past errors and difficulties; but still the consciousness that the good, straightforward girl had learnt that Cynthia had been guilty of so much underhand work cooled her regard, and restrained her willingness of intercourse. Reproach herself with ingratitude as she would, she could not help feeling glad to be away from Molly; it was awkward to speak to her as if nothing had happened; it was awkward to write to her about forgotten ribbons and laces, when their last conversation had been on such different subjects, and had called out such vehement expressions of feeling. So Mrs. Gibson held the list in her hand, and read out the small fragments of news that were intermixed with notices of Cynthia's requirements.
Something about her father's demeanor discouraged Molly, who had convinced herself that Osborne's obvious illness was partly "nervous," meaning it was all in his head. She had focused on his enjoyment of Miss Phoebe's confusion and thought that no one who truly believed they were in danger could have looked as cheerful as he did; but after seeing the seriousness on her father's face, she remembered the shock she felt when she first noticed Osborne's changed appearance. Meanwhile, Mrs. Gibson was busy reading a letter from Cynthia that Mr. Gibson had brought back from London; every chance for private delivery was taken because postage was so expensive. Cynthia had forgotten so many things during her rushed packing that she was now sending a list of the clothes she needed. Molly almost wondered why the letter hadn’t come directly to her, but she didn’t grasp the kind of distance that was growing in Cynthia's mind towards her. Cynthia herself struggled with this feeling and tried to fight against it by calling herself "ungrateful;" but the truth was, she felt like she no longer held her previous high status in Molly's eyes, and she couldn’t help but distance herself from someone who knew all her faults. She was fully aware of Molly's quick decisions and proactive efforts, especially when those actions were quite unpleasant for her; she knew Molly would never bring up past mistakes and troubles. Yet, the realization that the honest, straightforward girl had discovered Cynthia’s many underhanded actions tempered her feelings and made her hesitant to interact. No matter how much she reproached herself for being ungrateful, she couldn’t shake the relief of being away from Molly; it felt awkward to talk to her as if nothing had happened and difficult to write about forgotten ribbons and laces when their last conversation had been focused on such different topics and had sparked such strong emotions. So Mrs. Gibson held the list in her hands and read out the small bits of news that were mixed in with Cynthia's requests.
"Helen cannot be so very ill," said Molly at length, "or Cynthia would not want her pink muslin and daisy wreath."
"Helen can't be that sick," Molly finally said, "or Cynthia wouldn't want her pink muslin and daisy wreath."
"I don't see that that follows, I'm sure," replied Mrs. Gibson rather sharply. "Helen would never be so selfish as to tie Cynthia to her side, however ill she was. Indeed, I should not have felt that it was my duty to let Cynthia go to London at all, if I had thought she was to be perpetually exposed to the depressing atmosphere of a sick-room. Besides, it must be so good for Helen to have Cynthia coming in with bright pleasant accounts of the parties she has been to—even if Cynthia disliked gaiety I should desire her to sacrifice herself and go out as much as she could, for Helen's sake. My idea of nursing is that one should not be always thinking of one's own feelings and wishes, but doing those things which will most serve to beguile the weary hours of an invalid. But then so few people have had to consider the subject so deeply as I have done!"
"I don't see how that makes sense, I'm sure," replied Mrs. Gibson rather sharply. "Helen would never be so selfish as to keep Cynthia by her side, no matter how sick she was. In fact, I wouldn't have felt it was my duty to let Cynthia go to London at all if I thought she would be constantly stuck in the depressing atmosphere of a sick room. Besides, it must be so good for Helen to hear bright, pleasant stories about the parties Cynthia has been to—even if Cynthia didn't enjoy socializing, I would still want her to push herself and go out as much as she could, for Helen's sake. To me, nursing is about not always thinking about your own feelings and wishes, but doing what can help distract an invalid from their weary hours. But then, so few people have had to think deeply about this as I have!"
Mrs. Gibson here thought fit to sigh before going on with Cynthia's letter. As far as Molly could make any sense out of this rather incoherent epistle, very incoherently read aloud to her, Cynthia was really pleased, and glad to be of use and comfort to Helen, but at the same time very ready to be easily persuaded into the perpetual small gaieties which abounded in her uncle's house in London, even at this dead season of the year. Mrs. Gibson came upon Mr. Henderson's name once, and then went on with a running "um-um-um" to herself, which sounded very mysterious, but which might as well have been omitted, as all that Cynthia really said about him was, "Mr. Henderson's mother has advised my aunt to consult a certain Dr. Donaldson, who is said to be very clever in such cases as Helen's, but my uncle is not sufficiently sure of the professional etiquette, &c." Then there came a very affectionate, carefully worded message to Molly,—implying a good deal more than was said of loving gratitude for the trouble she had taken on Cynthia's behalf. And that was all; and Molly went away a little depressed; she knew not why.
Mrs. Gibson let out a sigh before continuing with Cynthia's letter. From what Molly could gather from this rather jumbled message, which Mrs. Gibson read to her somewhat incoherently, Cynthia seemed genuinely pleased and eager to help and support Helen. However, she was also very quick to get drawn into the constant small festivities happening at her uncle's house in London, even during this quiet time of year. Mrs. Gibson mentioned Mr. Henderson’s name once, then went on with a mysterious "um-um-um" to herself, which seemed rather significant but could have been skipped since all Cynthia actually wrote about him was, "Mr. Henderson's mother has suggested that my aunt consult a certain Dr. Donaldson, who is said to be very skilled in cases like Helen's, but my uncle isn't entirely confident about the professional etiquette, etc." After that, there was a heartfelt, carefully crafted message for Molly, suggesting much more than the words conveyed about her deep gratitude for the help Molly had given on Cynthia’s behalf. And that was it; Molly left feeling a bit down, though she didn’t know why.
The operation on Lady Cumnor had been successfully performed, and in a few days they hoped to bring her down to the Towers to recruit her strength in the fresh country air. The case was one which interested Mr. Gibson extremely, and in which his opinion had been proved to be right, in opposition to that of one or two great names in London. The consequence was that he was frequently consulted and referred to during the progress of her recovery; and, as he had much to do in the immediate circle of his Hollingford practice, as well as to write thoughtful letters to his medical brethren in London, he found it difficult to spare the three or four hours necessary to go over to Hamley to see Osborne. He wrote to him, however, begging him to reply immediately and detail his symptoms; and from the answer he received he did not imagine that the case was immediately pressing. Osborne, too, deprecated his coming over to Hamley for the express purpose of seeing him. So the visit was deferred to that "more convenient season" which is so often too late.
The surgery on Lady Cumnor had been successfully completed, and in a few days they planned to take her down to the Towers to help her regain her strength in the fresh country air. Mr. Gibson was very interested in her case, and his assessment had turned out to be correct, despite differing opinions from a couple of prominent doctors in London. As a result, he was frequently consulted and referenced throughout her recovery process. Given his responsibilities within his Hollingford practice and the need to write thoughtful letters to his medical colleagues in London, he found it challenging to set aside the three or four hours needed to travel to Hamley to see Osborne. He did write to Osborne, asking him to respond immediately and describe his symptoms; from the reply he got, he didn't think the situation was urgent. Osborne also discouraged him from making the trip to Hamley just to see him. So, the visit was postponed to that "more convenient season" that often ends up being too late.
All these days the buzzing gossip about Molly's meetings with Mr. Preston, her clandestine correspondence, the secret interviews in lonely places, had been gathering strength, and assuming the positive form of scandal. The simple innocent girl, who walked through the quiet streets without a thought of being the object of mysterious implications, became for a time the unconscious black sheep of the town. Servants heard part of what was said in their mistresses' drawing-rooms, and exaggerated the sayings amongst themselves with the coarse strengthening of expression common with uneducated people. Mr. Preston himself became aware that her name was being coupled with his, though hardly to the extent to which the love of excitement and gossip had carried people's speeches; he chuckled over the mistake, but took no pains to correct it. "It serves her right," said he to himself, "for meddling with other folk's business," and he felt himself avenged for the discomfiture which her menace of appealing to Lady Harriet had caused him, and the mortification he had experienced in learning from her plain-speaking lips, how he had been talked over by Cynthia and herself, with personal dislike on the one side, and evident contempt on the other. Besides, if any denial of Mr. Preston's stirred up an examination as to the real truth, more might come out of his baffled endeavours to compel Cynthia to keep to her engagement to him than he cared to have known. He was angry with himself for still loving Cynthia; loving her in his own fashion, be it understood. He told himself that many a woman of more position and wealth would be glad enough to have him; some of them pretty women too. And he asked himself why he was such a confounded fool as to go on hankering after a penniless girl, who was as fickle as the wind? The answer was silly enough, logically; but forcible in fact. Cynthia was Cynthia, and not Venus herself could have been her substitute. In this one thing Mr. Preston was more really true than many worthy men; who, seeking to be married, turn with careless facility from the unattainable to the attainable, and keep their feelings and fancy tolerably loose till they find a woman who consents to be their wife. But no one would ever be to Mr. Preston what Cynthia had been, and was; and yet he could have stabbed her in certain of his moods. So, Molly, who had come between him and the object of his desire, was not likely to find favour in his sight, or to obtain friendly actions from him.
All these days, the rumors about Molly's meetings with Mr. Preston, her secret letters, and the hidden interviews in secluded spots were gaining momentum and turning into actual scandal. The innocent girl, who strolled through the quiet streets without realizing she was the subject of mysterious whispers, became the town's unwitting black sheep for a time. Servants overheard parts of the gossip in their mistresses' drawing rooms and exaggerated it among themselves with the crude embellishments typical of uneducated people. Mr. Preston himself noticed that people were linking his name with hers, though not to the full extent that the excitement and gossip had escalated. He chuckled at the mistake but didn’t bother to correct it. “She brought this on herself,” he thought, “for interfering in others’ affairs,” and he felt avenged for the discomfort she caused him when she threatened to appeal to Lady Harriet, as well as the embarrassment he felt hearing her bluntly say how he’d been discussed by Cynthia and her, with clear dislike on one side and obvious contempt on the other. Besides, if any denial from Mr. Preston led to an examination of the truth, more might come to light about his frustrated attempts to make Cynthia stick to her engagement with him than he wanted known. He was frustrated with himself for still loving Cynthia; loving her in his own way, of course. He reminded himself that plenty of women with more status and wealth would happily have him, some of them attractive too. He questioned why he was such a damn fool for continuing to long after a broke girl who was as changeable as the wind. The answer was absurd enough on its own, but strong in reality. Cynthia was Cynthia, and not even Venus herself could take her place. In this regard, Mr. Preston was more genuine than many decent men who, eager to marry, easily switch from the unattainable to the attainable and keep their emotions and desires fairly loose until they find a woman willing to be their wife. But no one would ever mean to Mr. Preston what Cynthia had meant and still meant; and yet, at times, he could have attacked her. So, Molly, who had come between him and what he wanted most, was unlikely to earn his favor or receive any kindness from him.
There came a time—not very distant from the evening at Mrs. Dawes'—when Molly felt that people looked askance at her. Mrs. Goodenough openly pulled her grand-daughter away, when the young girl stopped to speak to Molly in the street, and an engagement which the two had made for a long walk together was cut very short by a very trumpery excuse. Mrs. Goodenough explained her conduct in the following manner to some of her friends:—
There came a time—not long after the evening at Mrs. Dawes'—when Molly felt that people were looking at her sideways. Mrs. Goodenough openly pulled her granddaughter away when the young girl stopped to talk to Molly on the street, and a long walk they had planned together was abruptly cut short by a flimsy excuse. Mrs. Goodenough explained her actions to some of her friends:—
"You see, I don't think the worse of a girl for meeting her sweetheart here and there and everywhere, till she gets talked about; but then when she does—and Molly Gibson's name is in everybody's mouth—I think it's only fair to Bessy, who has trusted me with Annabella—not to let her daughter be seen with a lass who has managed her matters so badly as to set folk talking about her. My maxim is this,—and it's a very good working one, you may depend on't—women should mind what they're about, and never be talked of; and if a woman's talked of, the less her friends have to do with her till the talk has died away, the better. So Annabella is not to have anything to do with Molly Gibson, this visit at any rate."
"You see, I don't think less of a girl for seeing her boyfriend here and there and everywhere, until people start talking about her; but once they do—and Molly Gibson’s name is on everyone’s lips—I think it’s only fair to Bessy, who has trusted me with Annabella, not to let her daughter be seen with someone who has handled her affairs so poorly that it gets people talking. My rule is this—and it’s a very practical one, you can count on it—women should watch their actions and never be the subject of gossip; and if a woman is being talked about, the less her friends associate with her until the gossip fades, the better. So Annabella is not to have anything to do with Molly Gibson during this visit, at least."
For a good while the Miss Brownings were kept in ignorance of the evil tongues that whispered hard words about Molly. Miss Browning was known to "have a temper," and by instinct every one who came in contact with her shrank from irritating that temper by uttering the slightest syllable against the smallest of those creatures over whom she spread the ægis of her love. She would and did reproach them herself; she used to boast that she never spared them: but no one else might touch them with the slightest slur of a passing word. But Miss Phœbe inspired no such terror; the great reason why she did not hear of the gossip against Molly as early as any one, was that, although she was not the rose, she lived near the rose. Besides, she was of so tender a nature that even thick-skinned Mrs. Goodenough was unwilling to say what would give Miss Phœbe pain; and it was the new-comer Mrs. Dawes, who in all ignorance alluded to the town's talk, as to something of which Miss Phœbe must be aware. Then Miss Phœbe poured down her questions, although she protested, even with tears, her total disbelief in all the answers she received. It was a small act of heroism on her part to keep all that she then learnt a secret from her sister Dorothy, as she did for four or five days; till Miss Browning attacked her one evening with the following speech:—
For a good while, Miss Brownings were unaware of the nasty rumors circulating about Molly. Miss Browning was known to “have a temper,” and naturally, anyone who interacted with her would avoid provoking that temper by saying even the slightest negative thing about any of the little ones she cared for. She would and did scold them herself; she often bragged that she never held back with them: but no one else was allowed to say even a word against them. However, Miss Phœbe didn’t inspire that kind of fear; the main reason she didn’t hear the gossip about Molly as quickly as others did was that, while she wasn’t the main attraction, she lived nearby. Plus, she had such a gentle nature that even tough-skinned Mrs. Goodenough hesitated to say anything that might upset Miss Phœbe; it was the newcomer, Mrs. Dawes, who, completely unaware, mentioned the town's gossip, assuming Miss Phœbe must have already known. Then Miss Phœbe began to bombard her with questions, although she insisted, even with tears, that she didn’t believe any of the answers she got. It was a small act of bravery on her part to keep everything she learned a secret from her sister Dorothy for four or five days; until one evening, Miss Browning confronted her with the following speech:—
"Phœbe! either you've some reason for puffing yourself out with sighs, or you've not. If you have a reason, it's your duty to tell it me directly; and if you haven't a reason, you must break yourself of a bad habit that is growing upon you."
"Phoebe! Either you have a reason for sighing like that, or you don’t. If you do have a reason, you need to tell me straight out; and if you don’t have a reason, you should stop this bad habit that’s developing."
"Oh, sister! do you think it is really my duty to tell you? it would be such a comfort; but then I thought I ought not; it will distress you so."
"Oh, sister! Do you really think it's my responsibility to tell you? It would be such a relief; but then I figured I shouldn't; it will upset you so."
"Nonsense. I am so well prepared for misfortune by the frequent contemplation of its possibility that I believe I can receive any ill news with apparent equanimity and real resignation. Besides, when you said yesterday at breakfast-time that you meant to give up the day to making your drawers tidy, I was aware that some misfortune was impending, though of course I could not judge of its magnitude. Is the Highchester Bank broken?"
"Nonsense. I've prepared myself for misfortune so well by often thinking about its possibility that I believe I can handle any bad news with a calm facade and genuine acceptance. Besides, when you mentioned yesterday at breakfast that you planned to spend the day organizing your drawers, I sensed that some misfortune was on the way, though I couldn't gauge how serious it would be. Has the Highchester Bank collapsed?"
"Oh no, sister!" said Miss Phœbe, moving to a seat close to her sister's on the sofa. "Have you really been thinking that! I wish I had told you what I heard at the very first, if you've been fancying that!"
"Oh no, sis!" said Miss Phœbe, sitting down next to her sister on the sofa. "Have you really been thinking that? I wish I had told you what I heard right from the start, if that's what you've been imagining!"
"Take warning, Phœbe, and learn to have no concealments from me. I did think we must be ruined, from your ways of going on: eating no meat at dinner, and sighing continually. And now what is it?"
"Listen up, Phœbe, and don't hide anything from me. I really thought we were headed for disaster because of how you were acting: not eating any meat at dinner and sighing all the time. So what's going on now?"
"I hardly know how to tell you, Dorothy. I really don't."
"I barely know how to explain this to you, Dorothy. I honestly don't."
Miss Phœbe began to cry; Miss Browning took hold of her arm, and gave her a little sharp shake.
Miss Phoebe started to cry; Miss Browning grabbed her arm and gave her a quick shake.
"Cry as much as you like when you've told me; but don't cry now, child, when you're keeping me on the tenter-hooks."
"Cry as much as you want after you've told me; but don't cry now, kid, while you're keeping me in suspense."
"Molly Gibson has lost her character, sister. That's it."
"Molly Gibson has lost her character, sister. That's it."
"Molly Gibson has done no such thing!" said Miss Browning indignantly. "How dare you repeat such stories about poor Mary's child? Never let me hear you say such things again."
"Molly Gibson hasn't done anything like that!" Miss Browning said angrily. "How can you spread such stories about poor Mary's child? Don't ever let me hear you say that again."
"I can't help it. Mrs. Dawes told me; and she says it's all over the town. I told her I did not believe a word of it. And I kept it from you; and I think I should have been really ill if I'd kept it to myself any longer. Oh, sister! what are you going to do?"
"I can't help it. Mrs. Dawes told me, and she says it’s all over town. I told her I didn’t believe a word of it. I kept it from you, and I think I would have actually been really sick if I’d kept it to myself any longer. Oh, sister! What are you going to do?"
For Miss Browning had risen without speaking a word, and was leaving the room in a stately and determined fashion.
For Miss Browning had stood up without saying a word and was leaving the room in a dignified and resolute manner.
"I'm going to put on my bonnet and things, and then I shall call upon Mrs. Dawes, and confront her with her lies."
"I'm going to put on my hat and get ready, and then I’ll go see Mrs. Dawes and confront her about her lies."
"Oh, don't call them lies, sister; it's such a strong, ugly word. Please call them tallydiddles, for I don't believe she meant any harm. Besides—besides—if they should turn out to be truth? Really, sister, that's the weight on my mind; so many things sounded as if they might be true."
"Oh, don’t call them lies, sister; that’s such a harsh, ugly word. Please call them tall tales, because I don’t think she meant any harm. Besides—besides—what if they actually turned out to be true? Honestly, sister, that’s what’s weighing on my mind; so many things sounded like they could be true."
"What things?" said Miss Browning, still standing with judicial erectness of position in the middle of the floor.
"What things?" Miss Browning asked, still standing upright and judging in the middle of the floor.
"Why—one story was that Molly had given him a letter."
"Why—one story was that Molly had given him a note."
"Who's him? How am I to understand a story told in that silly way?" Miss Browning sat down on the nearest chair, and made up her mind to be patient if she could.
"Who is he? How am I supposed to understand a story told like that?" Miss Browning sat down in the nearest chair and decided to be patient if she could.
"Him is Mr. Preston. And that must be true; because I missed her from my side when I wanted to ask her if she thought blue would look green by candlelight, as the young man said it would, and she had run across the street, and Mrs. Goodenough was just going into the shop, just as she said she was."
"That’s Mr. Preston. And that has to be correct because I realized she was gone when I wanted to ask her if she thought blue would look green by candlelight, like the young man said it would, and she had dashed across the street, while Mrs. Goodenough was just about to go into the shop, just as she mentioned."
Miss Browning's distress was overcoming her anger; so she only said, "Phœbe, I think you'll drive me mad. Do tell me what you heard from Mrs. Dawes in a sensible and coherent manner, for once in your life."
Miss Browning's distress was overpowering her anger, so she simply said, "Phœbe, I think you're going to drive me crazy. Please tell me what you heard from Mrs. Dawes in a sensible and coherent way, just this once."
"I'm sure I'm trying with all my might to tell you everything just as it happened."
"I'm really doing my best to tell you everything exactly as it happened."
"What did you hear from Mrs. Dawes?"
"What did you hear from Mrs. Dawes?"
"Why, that Molly and Mr. Preston were keeping company just as if she was a maid-servant and he was a gardener: meeting at all sorts of improper times and places, and fainting away in his arms, and out at night together, and writing to each other, and slipping their letters into each other's hands; and that was what I was talking about, sister, for I next door to saw that done once. I saw her with my own eyes run across the street to Grinstead's, where he was, for we had just left him there; with a letter in her hand, too, which was not there when she came back all fluttered and blushing. But I never thought anything of it at the time; but now all the town is talking about it, and crying shame, and saying they ought to be married." Miss Phœbe sank into sobbing again; but was suddenly roused by a good box on her ear. Miss Browning was standing over her almost trembling with passion.
"Can you believe that Molly and Mr. Preston were seeing each other just like she was a maid and he was a gardener? They met at all kinds of inappropriate times and places, with her swooning in his arms, out together at night, writing to each other, and sneaking their letters into each other's hands. That's what I was talking about, sister, because I almost saw that happen once. I saw her with my own eyes run across the street to Grinstead's, where he was, right after we had just left him there. She had a letter in her hand, which wasn’t there when she came back all flustered and blushing. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but now the whole town is buzzing about it, saying it’s shameful and they should get married." Miss Phœbe started sobbing again but was suddenly jolted out of it by a sharp slap on her cheek. Miss Browning was standing over her, nearly shaking with anger.
"Phœbe, if ever I hear you say such things again, I'll turn you out of the house that minute."
"Phoebe, if I ever hear you say things like that again, I'll kick you out of the house right then."
"I only said what Mrs. Dawes said, and you asked me what it was," replied Miss Phœbe, humbly and meekly. "Dorothy, you should not have done that."
"I only said what Mrs. Dawes said, and you asked me what it was," replied Miss Phoebe, quietly and submissively. "Dorothy, you shouldn't have done that."
"Never mind whether I should or I shouldn't. That's not the matter in hand. What I've got to decide is, how to put a stop to all these lies."
"Forget about whether I should or shouldn't. That's not the issue right now. What I need to figure out is how to put an end to all these lies."
"But, Dorothy, they are not all lies—if you will call them so; I'm afraid some things are true; though I stuck to their being false when Mrs. Dawes told me of them."
"But, Dorothy, not everything is a lie—if you want to call them that; I'm afraid some of it is true; even though I insisted they were false when Mrs. Dawes mentioned them to me."
"If I go to Mrs. Dawes, and she repeats them to me, I shall slap her face or box her ears I'm afraid, for I couldn't stand tales being told of poor Mary's daughter, as if they were just a stirring piece of news like James Horrocks' pig with two heads," said Miss Browning, meditating aloud. "That would do harm instead of good. Phœbe, I'm really sorry I boxed your ears, only I should do it again if you said the same things." Phœbe sate down by her sister, and took hold of one of her withered hands, and began caressing it, which was her way of accepting her sister's expression of regret. "If I speak to Molly, the child will deny it, if she's half as good-for-nothing as they say; and if she's not, she'll only worry herself to death. No, that won't do. Mrs. Goodenough—but she's a donkey; and if I convinced her, she could never convince any one else. No; Mrs. Dawes, who told you, shall tell me, and I'll tie my hands together inside my muff, and bind myself over to keep the peace. And when I've heard what is to be heard, I'll put the matter into Mr. Gibson's hands. That's what I'll do. So it's no use your saying anything against it, Phœbe, for I shan't attend to you."
"If I go to Mrs. Dawes, and she tells me what they’ve been saying, I might end up slapping her or giving her an earful because I can't handle hearing stories about poor Mary's daughter as if it's just some juicy gossip like James Horrocks' two-headed pig," said Miss Browning, thinking out loud. "That would cause more harm than good. Phœbe, I really regret giving you a slap, but I might do it again if you say those things. Phœbe sat down next to her sister, took one of her frail hands, and started to gently stroke it, which was her way of accepting her sister's apology. "If I talk to Molly, she’ll just deny it if she’s as useless as they say; and if she’s not, she’ll only stress herself out. No, that won’t work. Mrs. Goodenough—but she’s clueless; and even if I manage to persuade her, she wouldn’t convince anyone else. No; Mrs. Dawes, who told you, will have to tell me, and I’ll tie my hands together in my muff and promise to keep calm. And once I've heard what I need to hear, I’ll hand it over to Mr. Gibson. That’s my plan. So it’s pointless to argue with me about it, Phœbe, because I won’t listen to you."
Miss Browning went to Mrs. Dawes' and began civilly enough to make inquiries concerning the reports current in Hollingford about Molly and Mr. Preston; and Mrs. Dawes fell into the snare, and told all the real and fictitious circumstances of the story in circulation, quite unaware of the storm that was gathering and ready to fall upon her as soon as she stopped speaking. But she had not the long habit of reverence for Miss Browning which would have kept so many Hollingford ladies from justifying themselves if she found fault. Mrs. Dawes stood up for herself and her own veracity, bringing out fresh scandal, which she said she did not believe, but that many did; and adducing so much evidence as to the truth of what she had said and did believe, that Miss Browning was almost quelled, and sate silent and miserable at the end of Mrs. Dawes' justification of herself.
Miss Browning went to Mrs. Dawes' house and politely started asking questions about the rumors going around in Hollingford about Molly and Mr. Preston. Mrs. Dawes fell into the trap, sharing all the true and made-up details of the story that was spreading, completely unaware of the trouble that was brewing and ready to come down on her as soon as she finished talking. However, she didn't have the long-standing respect for Miss Browning that would have kept so many women in Hollingford from defending themselves if she criticized them. Mrs. Dawes defended herself and her honesty, bringing up fresh gossip that she claimed she didn’t believe, but that many others did; and she provided so much evidence for the truth of what she had said and believed that Miss Browning was almost silenced, sitting there unhappy and miserable by the end of Mrs. Dawes' defense of herself.
"Well!" she said at length, rising up from her chair as she spoke, "I'm very sorry I've lived till this day; it's a blow to me just as if I had heard of such goings-on in my own flesh and blood. I suppose I ought to apologize to you, Mrs. Dawes, for what I said; but I've no heart to do it to-day. I ought not to have spoken as I did; but that's nothing to this affair, you see."
"Well!" she finally said, getting up from her chair as she spoke. "I'm really sorry I've lived to see this day; it feels like a personal blow, just as if I had heard about this happening within my own family. I guess I should apologize to you, Mrs. Dawes, for what I said; but I just can't bring myself to do it today. I shouldn’t have spoken like I did, but that doesn’t really matter in light of what’s going on, you know."
"I hope you do me the justice to perceive that I only repeated what I had heard on good authority, Miss Browning," said Mrs. Dawes in reply.
"I hope you can understand that I was just repeating what I had heard from a reliable source, Miss Browning," Mrs. Dawes replied.
"My dear, don't repeat evil on any authority unless you can do some good by speaking about it," said Miss Browning, laying her hand on Mrs. Dawes' shoulder. "I'm not a good woman, but I know what is good, and that advice is. And now I think I can tell you that I beg your pardon for flying out upon you so; but God knows what pain you were putting me to. You'll forgive me, won't you, my dear?" Mrs. Dawes felt the hand trembling on her shoulder, and saw the real distress of Miss Browning's mind, so it was not difficult for her to grant the requested forgiveness. Then Miss Browning went home, and said but a few words to Phœbe, who indeed saw well enough that her sister had heard the reports confirmed, and needed no further explanation of the cause of scarcely-tasted dinner, and short replies, and saddened looks. Presently Miss Browning sate down and wrote a short note. Then she rang the bell, and told the little maiden who answered it to take it to Mr. Gibson, and if he was out to see that it was given to him as soon as ever he came home. And then she went and put on her Sunday cap; and Miss Phœbe knew that her sister had written to ask Mr. Gibson to come and be told of the rumours affecting his daughter. Miss Browning was sadly disturbed at the information she had received, and the task that lay before her; she was miserably uncomfortable to herself and irritable to Miss Phœbe, and the netting-cotton she was using kept continually snapping and breaking from the jerks of her nervous hands. When the knock at the door was heard,—the well-known doctor's knock,—Miss Browning took off her spectacles, and dropped them on the carpet, breaking them as she did so; and then she bade Miss Phœbe leave the room, as if her presence had cast the evil-eye, and caused the misfortune. She wanted to look natural, and was distressed at forgetting whether she usually received him sitting or standing.
"My dear, don’t spread bad words about anyone unless you can say something good in return," Miss Browning said, resting her hand on Mrs. Dawes' shoulder. "I’m not a good person, but I know what’s right, and that advice is. And now, I want to apologize for snapping at you like that; but you have no idea how much pain you caused me. You’ll forgive me, won’t you, my dear?" Mrs. Dawes felt the tremble of Miss Browning's hand on her shoulder and saw the genuine distress on her face, so it was easy for her to grant forgiveness. Afterward, Miss Browning went home and said only a few words to Phœbe, who clearly understood that her sister had heard the rumors confirmed and didn’t need any more explanation for the barely touched dinner, short replies, and sad expressions. Soon, Miss Browning sat down to write a short note. Then she rang the bell and asked the young maid who answered to deliver it to Mr. Gibson and to ensure he got it as soon as he came home if he was out. Then she went to put on her Sunday cap, and Miss Phœbe realized her sister had written to ask Mr. Gibson to come and hear about the rumors concerning his daughter. Miss Browning was deeply unsettled by the news she had received and the conversation she needed to have; she felt miserable and was irritable with Miss Phœbe, and the cotton thread she was working with kept snapping due to her nervous hands. When the familiar knock at the door was heard—the doctor’s knock—Miss Browning removed her glasses and accidentally dropped them on the carpet, breaking them in the process. She then told Miss Phœbe to leave the room, as if her presence had cast a bad spell and caused the misfortune. She wanted to appear calm and was anxious because she couldn’t remember if she usually received him sitting or standing.
"Well!" said he, coming in cheerfully, and rubbing his cold hands as he went straight to the fire, "and what is the matter with us? It's Phœbe, I suppose? I hope none of those old spasms? But, after all, a dose or two will set that to rights."
"Well!" he said, coming in cheerfully and rubbing his cold hands as he headed straight for the fire. "So what's going on with us? It's Phœbe, I assume? I hope she’s not having one of those old episodes? But really, a dose or two will fix that."
"Oh! Mr. Gibson, I wish it was Phœbe, or me either!" said Miss Browning, trembling more and more.
"Oh! Mr. Gibson, I wish it were Phœbe, or even me!" said Miss Browning, shaking more and more.
He sate down by her patiently, when he saw her agitation, and took her hand in a kind, friendly manner.
He sat down next to her calmly when he noticed her distress and took her hand in a gentle, friendly way.
"Don't hurry yourself,—take your time. I daresay it's not so bad as you fancy; but we'll see about it. There's a great deal of help in the world, much as we abuse it."
"Don't rush yourself—take your time. I bet it's not as bad as you think; but we'll figure it out. There's a lot of help in the world, even if we take it for granted."
"Mr. Gibson," said she, "it's your Molly I'm so grieved about. It's out now, and God help us both, and the poor child too, for I'm sure she's been led astray, and not gone wrong by her own free will!"
"Mr. Gibson," she said, "it's your Molly I'm really worried about. It's out now, and God help us both, along with the poor child too, because I'm sure she's been misled and didn't go astray of her own free will!"
"Molly!" said he, fighting against her words. "What's my little Molly been doing or saying?"
"Molly!" he said, struggling against her words. "What has my little Molly been up to or saying?"
"Oh! Mr. Gibson, I don't know how to tell you. I never would have named it, if I had not been convinced, sorely, sorely against my will."
"Oh! Mr. Gibson, I’m not sure how to put this. I would never have mentioned it if I hadn’t been convinced, very, very much against my will."
"At any rate, you can let me hear what you've heard," said he, putting his elbow on the table, and screening his eyes with his hand. "Not that I'm a bit afraid of anything you can hear about my girl," continued he. "Only in this little nest of gossip, it's as well to know what people are talking about."
"Anyway, you can tell me what you've heard," he said, resting his elbow on the table and shading his eyes with his hand. "Not that I’m worried about anything you might hear about my girl," he added. "It’s just that in this small town, it’s good to know what people are saying."
"They say—oh! how shall I tell you?"
"They say—oh! how am I supposed to tell you?"
"Go on, can't you?" said he, removing his hand from his blazing eyes. "I'm not going to believe it, so don't be afraid!"
"Come on, can you?" he said, pulling his hand away from his burning eyes. "I'm not going to believe it, so don’t worry!"
"But I fear you must believe it. I would not if I could help it. She's been carrying on a clandestine correspondence with Mr. Preston!—"
"But I’m afraid you have to believe it. I wouldn’t if I could avoid it. She’s been secretly exchanging letters with Mr. Preston!"
"Mr. Preston!" exclaimed he.
"Mr. Preston!" he exclaimed.
"And meeting him at all sorts of unseemly places and hours, out of doors,—in the dark,—fainting away in his—his arms, if I must speak out. All the town is talking of it." Mr. Gibson's hand was over his eyes again, and he made no sign; so Miss Browning went on, adding touch to touch. "Mr. Sheepshanks saw them together. They have exchanged notes in Grinstead's shop; she ran after him there."
"And meeting him in all kinds of inappropriate places and times, outside—in the dark—fainting in his arms, if I must be honest. The whole town is talking about it." Mr. Gibson had his hand over his eyes again and didn’t respond, so Miss Browning continued, adding more details. "Mr. Sheepshanks saw them together. They exchanged notes in Grinstead's shop; she chased after him there."
"Be quiet, can't you?" said Mr. Gibson, taking his hand away, and showing his grim set face. "I've heard enough. Don't go on. I said I shouldn't believe it, and I don't. I suppose I must thank you for telling me; but I can't yet."
"Can you just be quiet?" Mr. Gibson said, pulling his hand back and revealing his serious, tense expression. "I've heard enough. Just stop. I said I wouldn't believe it, and I still don't. I guess I should thank you for sharing this with me; but I'm not ready to do that yet."
"I don't want your thanks," said Miss Browning, almost crying. "I thought you ought to know; for though you're married again, I can't forget you were dear Mary's husband once upon a time; and Molly's her child."
"I don't want your thanks," Miss Browning said, almost in tears. "I thought you should know; because even though you're married again, I can't forget that you were dear Mary's husband once. And Molly is her child."
"I'd rather not speak any more about it just at present," said he, not at all replying to Miss Browning's last speech. "I may not control myself as I ought. I only wish I could meet Preston, and horsewhip him within an inch of his life. I wish I'd the doctoring of these slanderous gossips. I'd make their tongues lie still for a while. My little girl! What harm has she done them all, that they should go and foul her fair name?"
"I'd prefer not to talk about it anymore right now," he said, not responding to Miss Browning's last comment. "I might not be able to keep my cool. I just wish I could find Preston and whip him to within an inch of his life. I’d love to take care of those slanderous gossips. I’d make them keep quiet for a while. My little girl! What has she done to them that they would tarnish her good name?"
"Indeed, Mr. Gibson, I'm afraid it's all true. I would not have sent for you if I hadn't examined into it. Do ascertain the truth before you do anything violent, such as horsewhipping or poisoning."
"Honestly, Mr. Gibson, I'm afraid it's all true. I wouldn't have called you here if I hadn't looked into it. Please find out the truth before you do anything drastic, like horsewhipping or poisoning."
With all the inconséquence of a man in a passion, Mr. Gibson laughed out, "What have I said about horsewhipping or poisoning? Do you think I'd have Molly's name dragged about the streets in connection with any act of violence on my part? Let the report die away as it arose. Time will prove its falsehood."
With all the inconséquence of a man in a passion, Mr. Gibson laughed out, "What have I said about horsewhipping or poisoning? Do you think I'd want Molly's name dragged through the streets linked to any violent act I might commit? Let the rumor fade away like it started. Time will show it's untrue."
"But I don't think it will, and that's the pity of it," said Miss Browning. "You must do something, but I don't know what."
"But I don't think it will, and that's the shame of it," said Miss Browning. "You have to do something, but I have no idea what."
"I shall go home and ask Molly herself what's the meaning of it all; that's all I shall do. It's too ridiculous—knowing Molly as I do, it's perfectly ridiculous." He got up and walked about the room with hasty steps, laughing short unnatural laughs from time to time. "Really what will they say next? 'Satan finds some mischief still for idle tongues to do.'"
"I’ll go home and ask Molly herself what it’s all about; that’s all I’m going to do. It’s just ridiculous—knowing Molly as I do, it’s completely absurd." He stood up and started pacing the room quickly, laughing short, forced laughs every now and then. "Seriously, what will they come up with next? 'Satan finds some mischief still for idle tongues to do.'"
"Don't talk of Satan, please, in this house. No one knows what may happen, if he's lightly spoken about," pleaded Miss Browning.
"Please don't mention Satan in this house. No one knows what could happen if he's mentioned carelessly," Miss Browning begged.
He went on, without noticing her, talking to himself,—"I've a great mind to leave the place;—and what food for scandal that piece of folly would give rise to!" Then he was silent for a time; his hands in his pockets, his eyes on the ground, as he continued his quarter-deck march. Suddenly he stopped close to Miss Browning's chair: "I'm thoroughly ungrateful to you, for as true a mark of friendship as you've ever shown to me. True or false, it was right I should know the wretched scandal that was being circulated; and it couldn't have been pleasant for you to tell it me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart."
He continued talking to himself without noticing her, saying, "I really should just leave this place; and what a source of gossip that would be!" Then he fell silent for a moment, hands in his pockets, eyes focused on the ground, carrying on his march like he was on a ship's deck. Suddenly, he stopped right next to Miss Browning's chair: "I'm really ungrateful to you for sharing such a true sign of friendship. Whether it's true or false, I needed to know the awful rumors that were going around, and I can’t imagine it was easy for you to tell me. Thank you so much."
"Indeed, Mr. Gibson, if it was false I would never have named it, but let it die away."
"Seriously, Mr. Gibson, if it weren't true, I never would have mentioned it, but let's just let it fade away."
"It's not true, though!" said he, doggedly, letting drop the hand he had taken in his effusion of gratitude.
"It's not true, though!" he said stubbornly, releasing the hand he had held in his moment of gratitude.
She shook her head. "I shall always love Molly for her mother's sake," she said. And it was a great concession from the correct Miss Browning. But her father did not understand it as such.
She shook her head. "I'll always love Molly for her mother's sake," she said. And it was a big concession from the proper Miss Browning. But her father didn't see it that way.
"You ought to love her for her own. She has done nothing to disgrace herself. I shall go straight home, and probe into the truth."
"You should love her for who she is. She hasn’t done anything to bring shame upon herself. I'm going to head home right now and find out the truth."
"As if the poor girl who has been led away into deceit already would scruple much at going on in falsehood," was Miss Browning's remark on this last speech of Mr. Gibson's; but she had discretion enough not to make it until he was well out of hearing.
"As if the poor girl who's already been deceived would hesitate to continue lying," was Miss Browning's response to Mr. Gibson's last comment; but she was smart enough to wait until he was far enough away to say it.
CHAPTER XLVIII.
AN INNOCENT CULPRIT.
With his head bent down—as if he were facing some keen-blowing wind—and yet there was not a breath of air stirring—Mr. Gibson went swiftly to his own home. He rang at the door-bell; an unusual proceeding on his part. Maria opened the door. "Go and tell Miss Molly she's wanted in the dining-room. Don't say who it is that wants her." There was something in Mr. Gibson's manner that made Maria obey him to the letter, in spite of Molly's surprised question,—
With his head lowered—as if he were battling a strong wind—even though there wasn't a single breeze—Mr. Gibson hurried home. He rang the doorbell; this was unusual for him. Maria answered the door. "Go tell Miss Molly she’s needed in the dining room. Don’t say who is asking for her." There was something about Mr. Gibson's demeanor that made Maria follow his instructions exactly, despite Molly’s surprised question,—
"Wants me? Who is it, Maria?"
"Wants me? Who is it, Maria?"
Mr. Gibson went into the dining-room, and shut the door, for an instant's solitude. He went up to the chimney-piece, took hold of it, and laid his head on his hands, and tried to still the beating of his heart.
Mr. Gibson walked into the dining room and closed the door for a moment of solitude. He approached the fireplace, rested his hands on it, and laid his head in his hands, trying to calm his racing heart.
The door opened. He knew that Molly stood there before he heard her tone of astonishment.
The door opened. He recognized that Molly was there even before he heard her surprised tone.
"Papa!"
"Dad!"
"Hush!" said he, turning round sharply. "Shut the door. Come here."
"Hush!" he said, turning around quickly. "Close the door. Come here."
She came to him, wondering what was amiss. Her thoughts went to the Hamleys immediately. "Is it Osborne?" she asked, breathless. If Mr. Gibson had not been too much agitated to judge calmly, he might have deduced comfort from these three words.
She approached him, wondering what was wrong. Her mind went straight to the Hamleys. "Is it Osborne?" she asked, out of breath. If Mr. Gibson hadn't been too upset to think clearly, he might have found some reassurance in those three words.
But instead of allowing himself to seek for comfort from collateral evidence, he said,—"Molly, what is this I hear? That you have been keeping up a clandestine intercourse with Mr. Preston—meeting him in out-of-the-way places; exchanging letters with him in a stealthy way?"
But instead of letting himself find comfort in indirect signs, he said, “Molly, what’s this I hear? That you’ve been secretly seeing Mr. Preston—meeting him in hidden spots; exchanging letters with him in a sneaky way?”
Though he had professed to disbelieve all this, and did disbelieve it at the bottom of his soul, his voice was hard and stern, his face was white and grim, and his eyes fixed Molly's with the terrible keenness of their research. Molly trembled all over, but she did not attempt to evade his penetration. If she was silent for a moment, it was because she was rapidly reviewing her relation with regard to Cynthia in the matter. It was but a moment's pause of silence; but it seemed long minutes to one who was craving for a burst of indignant denial. He had taken hold of her two arms just above her wrists, as she had advanced towards him; he was unconscious of this action; but, as his impatience for her words grew upon him, he grasped her more and more tightly in his vice-like hands, till she made a little involuntary sound of pain. And then he let go; and she looked at her soft bruised flesh, with tears gathering fast to her eyes to think that he, her father, should have hurt her so. At the instant it appeared to her stranger that he should inflict bodily pain upon his child, than that he should have heard the truth—even in an exaggerated form. With a childish gesture she held out her arm to him; but if she expected pity, she received none.
Though he claimed to disbelieve all of this, and truly did at the deepest level of his soul, his voice was harsh and stern, his face was pale and grim, and his eyes locked onto Molly's with an intense, searching gaze. Molly trembled all over, but she didn’t try to escape his scrutiny. If she hesitated for a moment, it was because she was quickly reflecting on her relationship with Cynthia regarding the situation. It was only a brief pause in silence, but it felt like ages to someone desperate for a burst of angry denial. He had taken hold of her arms just above her wrists as she stepped closer to him; he was unaware of this action, but as his impatience for her response grew, he gripped her tighter and tighter in his strong hands until she let out a small, involuntary sound of pain. Then he released her, and she looked at her tender, bruised skin, tears welling up in her eyes at the thought that he, her father, could have hurt her like this. In that moment, it seemed more shocking to her that he could inflict physical pain on his child than to hear the truth—even if it was exaggerated. With a childlike gesture, she extended her arm towards him, but if she hoped for sympathy, she got none.
"Pooh!" said he, as he just glanced at the mark, "that is nothing—nothing. Answer my question. Have you—have you met that man in private?"
"Pooh!" he said, glancing at the mark, "that's nothing—nothing. Just answer my question. Have you—have you met that man privately?"
"Yes, papa, I have; but I don't think it was wrong."
"Yes, Dad, I have; but I don't think it was wrong."
He sate down now. "Wrong!" he echoed, bitterly. "Not wrong? Well! I must bear it somehow. Your mother is dead. That's one comfort. It is true, then, is it? Why, I didn't believe it—not I. I laughed in my sleeve at their credulity; and I was the dupe all the time!"
He sat down now. "Wrong!" he repeated, bitterly. "Not wrong? Well! I guess I have to deal with it somehow. Your mother is dead. That's one consolation. Is it true, then? I didn't believe it—not at all. I laughed to myself at their gullibility; and I was the fool all along!"
"Papa, I cannot tell you all. It is not my secret, or you should know it directly. Indeed, you will be sorry some time—I have never deceived you yet, have I?" trying to take one of his hands; but he kept them tightly in his pockets, his eyes fixed on the pattern of the carpet before him. "Papa!" said she, pleading again, "have I ever deceived you?"
" Dad, I can't tell you everything. It's not my secret to share, or you should know it directly. Honestly, you'll regret it someday—I’ve never lied to you, have I?" she said, trying to take one of his hands, but he kept them tightly in his pockets, his eyes focused on the pattern of the carpet in front of him. "Dad!" she pleaded again, "have I ever lied to you?"
"How can I tell? I hear of this from the town's talk. I don't know what next may come out!"
"How can I know? I hear about this from what people are saying in town. I have no idea what might happen next!"
"The town's talk!" said Molly in dismay. "What business is it of theirs?"
"The town's gossip!" Molly exclaimed, frustrated. "What right do they have?"
"Every one makes it their business to cast dirt on a girl's name who has disregarded the commonest rules of modesty and propriety."
"Everyone makes it their business to tarnish the reputation of a girl who has ignored the basic rules of modesty and decency."
"Papa, you are very hard. Modesty disregarded! I will tell you exactly what I have done. I met Mr. Preston once,—that evening when you put me down to walk over Croston Heath,—and there was another person with him. I met him a second time—and that time by appointment—nobody but our two selves,—in the Towers' Park. That is all, papa. You must trust me. I cannot explain more. You must trust me indeed."
"Dad, you’re being really strict. Forget about modesty! I’ll tell you exactly what happened. I met Mr. Preston once—that evening when you dropped me off to walk over Croston Heath—and there was someone else with him. I ran into him a second time—this time by appointment—just the two of us—in the Towers' Park. That’s all, Dad. You have to trust me. I can’t explain more. You really have to trust me."
He could not help relenting at her words; there was such truth in the tone in which they were spoken. But he neither spoke nor stirred for a minute or two. Then he raised his eyes to hers for the first time since she had acknowledged the external truth of what he charged her with. Her face was very white, but it bore the impress of the final sincerity of death, when the true expression prevails without the poor disguises of time.
He couldn't help but soften at her words; there was so much truth in the way she spoke. But he didn't say anything or move for a minute or two. Then he looked up at her for the first time since she had admitted the reality of what he accused her of. Her face was very pale, but it showed the deep sincerity of death, where the true expression shines through without the false masks of time.
"The letters?" he said,—but almost as if he were ashamed to question that countenance any further.
"The letters?" he said, but it was almost like he felt embarrassed to ask that face anything more.
"I gave him one letter,—of which I did not write a word,—which, in fact, I believe to have been merely an envelope, without any writing whatever inside. The giving that letter,—the two interviews I have named,—make all the private intercourse I have had with Mr. Preston. Oh! papa, what have they been saying that has grieved—shocked you so much?"
"I gave him one letter—of which I didn’t write a word—which, in fact, I believe was just an envelope with nothing written inside. That letter, along with the two meetings I mentioned, is all the private interaction I’ve had with Mr. Preston. Oh! Dad, what have they been saying that has upset you so much?"
"Never mind. As the world goes, what you say you have done, Molly, is ground enough. You must tell me all. I must be able to refute these rumours point by point."
"Never mind. The way things are in the world, what you claim you've done, Molly, is more than enough reason. You need to tell me everything. I have to be able to counter these rumors one by one."
"How are they to be refuted, when you say that the truth which I have acknowledged is ground enough for what people are saying?"
"How can they be proven wrong when you claim that the truth I’ve accepted is enough reason for what people are saying?"
"You say you were not acting for yourself, but for another. If you tell me who the other was,—if you tell me everything out fully, I will do my utmost to screen her—for of course I guess it was Cynthia—while I am exonerating you."
"You say you weren't acting for yourself, but for someone else. If you tell me who that someone is—if you share everything in detail, I'll do my best to protect her—I'm guessing it was Cynthia—while I clear you of any wrongdoing."
"No, papa!" said Molly, after some little consideration; "I have told you all I can tell; all that concerns myself; and I have promised not to say one word more."
"No, Dad!" Molly said after thinking for a bit. "I've told you everything I can share; everything that involves me; and I promised not to say another word."
"Then your character will be impugned. It must be, unless the fullest explanation of these secret meetings is given. I've a great mind to force the whole truth out of Preston himself!"
"Then your character will be questioned. It has to be, unless a complete explanation of these secret meetings is provided. I'm seriously considering getting the whole truth out of Preston himself!"
"Papa! once again I beg you to trust me. If you ask Mr. Preston you will very likely hear the whole truth; but that is just what I have been trying so hard to conceal, for it will only make several people very unhappy if it is known, and the whole affair is over and done with now."
"Papa! I’m asking you once again to trust me. If you talk to Mr. Preston, you’ll probably find out the whole truth; but that’s exactly what I’ve been trying to hide, because it will only make a lot of people really unhappy if it gets out, and the whole situation is finished now."
"Not your share in it. Miss Browning sent for me this evening to tell me how people were talking about you. She implied that it was a complete loss of your good name. You don't know, Molly, how slight a thing may blacken a girl's reputation for life. I'd hard work to stand all she said, even though I didn't believe a word of it at the time. And now you've told me that much of it is true."
"Not your part in it. Miss Browning called me this evening to tell me what people are saying about you. She hinted that it’s really damaging to your reputation. You don't realize, Molly, how small things can ruin a girl’s name for life. I had a tough time handling everything she said, even though I didn’t believe any of it back then. And now you’ve told me that a lot of it is true."
"But I think you are a brave man, papa. And you believe me, don't you? We shall outlive these rumours, never fear."
"But I think you're a brave man, Dad. And you believe me, right? We'll outlast these rumors, don’t worry."
"You don't know the power of ill-natured tongues, child," said he.
"You don't realize how powerful mean-spirited people can be, kid," he said.
"Oh, now you've called me 'child' again I don't care for anything. Dear, dear papa, I'm sure it is best and wisest to take no notice of these speeches. After all, they may not mean them ill-naturedly. I am sure Miss Browning would not. By-and-by they'll quite forget how much they made out of so little,—and even if they don't, you would not have me break my solemn word, would you?"
"Oh, now you’ve called me 'child' again, and I don’t care about anything. Dear papa, I’m sure it’s best and smartest to ignore those remarks. After all, they might not mean it in a bad way. I’m sure Miss Browning wouldn’t. Soon, they’ll completely forget how much they exaggerated over so little—and even if they don’t, you wouldn’t want me to go back on my promise, would you?"
"Perhaps not. But I cannot easily forgive the person who, by practising on your generosity, led you into this scrape. You are very young, and look upon these things as merely temporary evils. I have more experience."
"Maybe not. But I can't easily forgive the person who took advantage of your generosity and got you into this mess. You’re very young and think of these things as just temporary problems. I have more experience."
"Still, I don't see what I can do now, papa. Perhaps I've been foolish; but what I did, I did of my own self. It was not suggested to me. And I'm sure it was not wrong in morals, whatever it might be in judgment. As I said, it's all over now; what I did ended the affair, I am thankful to say; and it was with that object I did it. If people choose to talk about me, I must submit; and so must you, dear papa."
"Still, I don’t see what I can do now, Dad. Maybe I was foolish; but what I did, I did on my own. No one suggested it to me. And I’m sure it wasn’t morally wrong, even if it was a bad judgment. As I said, it’s all over now; what I did ended the situation, and I’m glad to say that. I did it with that goal in mind. If people want to talk about me, I have to accept it; and so do you, dear Dad."
"Does your mother—does Mrs. Gibson—know anything about it?" asked he with sudden anxiety.
"Does your mom—does Mrs. Gibson—know anything about it?" he asked with sudden worry.
"No; not a bit; not a word. Pray don't name it to her. That might lead to more mischief than anything else. I have really told you everything I am at liberty to tell."
"No, not at all; not a word. Please don’t mention it to her. That could cause more trouble than anything else. I've honestly told you everything I'm allowed to share."
It was a great relief to Mr. Gibson to find that his sudden fear that his wife might have been privy to it all was ill-founded. He had been seized by a sudden dread that she, whom he had chosen to marry in order to have a protectress and guide for his daughter, had been cognizant of this ill-advised adventure with Mr. Preston; nay, more, that she might even have instigated it to save her own child; for that Cynthia was, somehow or other, at the bottom of it all he had no doubt whatever. But now, at any rate, Mrs. Gibson had not been playing a treacherous part; that was all the comfort he could extract out of Molly's mysterious admission, that much mischief might result from Mrs. Gibson's knowing anything about these meetings with Mr. Preston.
Mr. Gibson felt a huge sense of relief when he realized that his sudden fear about his wife being involved in everything was completely unfounded. He had been struck by a wave of anxiety that she, the woman he had married to protect and guide his daughter, knew about his reckless affair with Mr. Preston. Even worse, he feared she might have even encouraged it to protect her own child; he was certain that Cynthia was somehow at the center of it all. But at least now, he could take comfort in the fact that Mrs. Gibson hadn't been acting deceitfully; that was the only solace he could find from Molly's vague admission that Mrs. Gibson knowing about these meetings with Mr. Preston could lead to a lot of trouble.
"Then, what is to be done?" said he. "These reports are abroad,—am I to do nothing to contradict them? Am I to go about smiling and content with all this talk about you, passing from one idle gossip to another?"
"Then, what should I do?" he asked. "These rumors are out there—am I supposed to just ignore them? Should I walk around smiling and acting like everything's fine while people gossip about you, moving from one piece of idle chatter to the next?"
"I'm afraid so. I'm very sorry, for I never meant you to have known anything about it, and I can see now how it must distress you. But surely when nothing more happens, and nothing comes of what has happened, the wonder and the gossip must die away. I know you believe every word I have said, and that you trust me, papa. Please, for my sake, be patient with all this gossip and cackle."
"I'm afraid that's the case. I'm really sorry because I never intended for you to find out about any of this, and I can see how upsetting it must be for you. But surely when nothing else happens, and nothing comes from what has already happened, the curiosity and the talk will eventually fade away. I know you believe everything I've said and that you trust me, Dad. Please, for my sake, be patient with all this gossip and chatter."
"It will try me hard, Molly," said he.
"It will be tough for me, Molly," he said.
"For my sake, papa!"
"For my sake, Dad!"
"I don't see what else I can do," replied he moodily, "unless I get hold of Preston."
"I don't know what else I can do," he replied, feeling down, "unless I can get in touch with Preston."
"That would be the worst of all. That would make a talk. And, after all, perhaps he was not so very much to blame. Yes! he was. But he behaved well to me as far as that goes," said she, suddenly recollecting his speech when Mr. Sheepshanks came up in the Towers' Park—"Don't stir, you have done nothing to be ashamed of."
"That would be the worst of all. That would definitely get people talking. And, after all, maybe he wasn't entirely at fault. Yes! he was. But he treated me well, considering," she said, suddenly remembering his words when Mr. Sheepshanks approached in the Towers' Park—"Don't move, you haven't done anything to be ashamed of."
"That's true. A quarrel between men which drags a woman's name into notice is to be avoided at any cost. But sooner or later I must have it out with Preston. He shall find it not so pleasant to have placed my daughter in equivocal circumstances."
"That's true. A fight between men that brings a woman's name into the spotlight should be avoided at all costs. But sooner or later, I have to confront Preston. He'll find it quite unpleasant to have put my daughter in such questionable situations."
"He didn't place me. He didn't know I was coming, didn't expect to meet me either time; and would far rather not have taken the letter I gave him if he could have helped himself."
"He didn't recognize me. He had no idea I was coming, didn't expect to see me either time; and he would have preferred not to take the letter I gave him if he could have avoided it."
"It's all a mystery. I hate to have you mixed up in mysteries."
"It's all a mystery. I really don't want you involved in this."
"I hate to be mixed up. But what can I do? I know of another mystery which I'm pledged not to speak about. I cannot help myself."
"I hate being caught up in this. But what can I do? I know about another mystery that I’m obligated not to discuss. I can’t stop myself."
"Well, all I can say is, never be the heroine of a mystery that you can avoid, if you can't help being an accessory. Then, I suppose, I must yield to your wishes and let this scandal wear itself out without any notice from me?"
"Well, all I can say is, never be the main character in a mystery that you can avoid, if you can't help being involved. Then, I guess I have to go along with your wishes and let this scandal fade away without my input?"
"What else can you do under the circumstances?"
"What else can you do in this situation?"
"Ay; what else, indeed? How shall you bear it?"
"Ay; what else, really? How will you handle it?"
For an instant the quick hot tears sprang into her eyes; to have everybody—all her world, thinking evil of her, did seem hard to the girl who had never thought or said an unkind thing of them. But she smiled as she made answer,—
For a moment, hot tears filled her eyes; it felt unfair to have everyone—her entire world—thinking badly of her, especially since she had never thought or said anything unkind about them. But she smiled as she replied,—
"It's like tooth-drawing, it will be over some time. It would be much worse if I really had been doing wrong."
"It's like pulling a tooth; it will be done eventually. It would be a lot worse if I had actually done something wrong."
"Cynthia shall beware—" he began; but Molly put her hand before his mouth.
"Cynthia should be careful—" he started, but Molly covered his mouth with her hand.
"Papa, Cynthia must not be accused, or suspected; you will drive her out of your house if you do, she is so proud, and so unprotected, except by you. And Roger,—for Roger's sake, you will never do or say anything to send Cynthia away, when he has trusted us all to take care of her, and love her in his absence. Oh! I think if she were really wicked, and I did not love her at all, I should feel bound to watch over her, he loves her so dearly. And she is really good at heart, and I do love her dearly. You must not vex or hurt Cynthia, papa,—remember she is dependent upon you!"
"Dad, you can't accuse or suspect Cynthia; if you do, you'll push her out of your house. She's so proud and has no one to protect her except you. And think of Roger—please don’t do or say anything that would make Cynthia leave, especially since he’s trusted us to take care of her and love her while he’s away. Honestly, even if she were truly bad and I didn’t love her, I would still feel obligated to look out for her because he cares for her so much. She really is good at heart, and I love her a lot. Please don’t upset or hurt Cynthia, Dad—remember, she relies on you!"
"I think the world would get on tolerably well, if there were no women in it. They plague the life out of one. You've made me forget, amongst you—poor old Job Houghton that I ought to have gone to see an hour ago."
"I think the world would manage just fine if there were no women in it. They drive you crazy. You've made me forget about poor old Job Houghton, whom I should have visited an hour ago."
Molly put up her mouth to be kissed. "You're not angry with me now, papa, are you?"
Molly leaned in to be kissed. "You're not mad at me anymore, are you, Dad?"
"Get out of my way" (kissing her all the same). "If I'm not angry with you, I ought to be; for you've caused a great deal of worry, which won't be over yet awhile, I can tell you."
"Move aside" (kissing her anyway). "If I'm not mad at you, I should be; because you've created a lot of stress, and it won't be resolved for a while, trust me."
For all Molly's bravery at the time of this conversation, it was she that suffered more than her father. He kept out of the way of hearing gossip; but she was perpetually thrown into the small society of the place. Mrs. Gibson herself had caught cold, and moreover was not tempted by the quiet old-fashioned visiting which was going on just about this time, provoked by the visit of two of Mrs. Dawes' pretty unrefined nieces, who laughed, and chattered, and ate, and would fain have flirted with Mr. Ashton, the vicar, could he have been brought by any possibility to understand his share in the business. Mr. Preston did not accept the invitations to Hollingford tea-drinkings with the same eager gratitude as he had done a year before: or else the shadow which hung over Molly would have extended to him, her co-partner in the clandestine meetings which gave such umbrage to the feminine virtue of the town. Molly herself was invited, because it would not do to pass any apparent slight on either Mr. or Mrs. Gibson; but there was a tacit and underhand protest against her being received on the old terms. Every one was civil to her, but no one was cordial; there was a very perceptible film of difference in their behaviour to her from what it was formerly; nothing that had outlines and could be defined. But Molly, for all her clear conscience and her brave heart, felt acutely that she was only tolerated, not welcomed. She caught the buzzing whispers of the two Miss Oakes's, who, when they first met the heroine of the prevailing scandal, looked at her askance, and criticised her pretensions to good looks, with hardly an attempt at under-tones. Molly tried to be thankful that her father was not in the mood for visiting. She was even glad that her stepmother was too much of an invalid to come out, when she felt thus slighted, and as it were, degraded from her place. Miss Browning herself, that true old friend, spoke to her with chilling dignity, and much reserve; for she had never heard a word from Mr. Gibson since the evening when she had put herself to so much pain to tell him of the disagreeable rumours affecting his daughter.
For all of Molly's courage during this conversation, she suffered more than her father. He managed to avoid hearing the gossip, but she was constantly thrown into the small social circle of the town. Mrs. Gibson had caught a cold and wasn’t interested in the quiet, old-fashioned gatherings happening at that time, sparked by the visit of two of Mrs. Dawes' pretty but unsophisticated nieces, who laughed, chattered, and ate, and would have liked to flirt with Mr. Ashton, the vicar, if he could have understood their intentions. Mr. Preston didn’t accept the invitations to Hollingford tea gatherings with the same eager gratitude as he had a year before; otherwise, the shadow hanging over Molly would have reached him too, her partner in the secret meetings that scandalized the town’s feminine virtue. Molly was invited because it wouldn’t be right to show any open slight to either Mr. or Mrs. Gibson, but there was a silent, unspoken protest against treating her as before. Everyone was polite to her, but no one was warm; there was a noticeable difference in their behavior towards her compared to before—nothing that could be easily defined. But Molly, despite her clear conscience and brave heart, felt keenly that she was only tolerated, not welcomed. She overheard the buzzing whispers of the two Miss Oakes's, who, when they first encountered the focus of the current scandal, looked at her suspiciously and criticized her claims to good looks without even bothering to hide it. Molly tried to be grateful that her father wasn’t in the mood for visiting. She was actually glad her stepmother was too unwell to go out, especially when she felt so slighted and, in a sense, demoted from her place. Miss Browning, that true old friend, spoke to her with a chilly dignity and a lot of restraint; she hadn’t heard a word from Mr. Gibson since the evening when she had gone to great lengths to inform him about the unpleasant rumors concerning his daughter.
Only Miss Phœbe would seek out Molly with even more than her former tenderness; and this tried Molly's calmness more than all the slights put together. The soft hand, pressing hers under the table,—the continual appeals to her, so as to bring her back into the conversation, touched Molly almost to shedding tears. Sometimes the poor girl wondered to herself whether this change in the behaviour of her acquaintances was not a mere fancy of hers; whether, if she had never had that conversation with her father, in which she had borne herself so bravely at the time, she should have discovered the difference in their treatment of her. She never told her father how she felt these perpetual small slights: she had chosen to bear the burden of her own free will; nay, more, she had insisted on being allowed to do so; and it was not for her to grieve him now by showing that she shrank from the consequences of her own act. So she never even made an excuse for not going into the small gaieties, or mingling with the society of Hollingford. Only she suddenly let go the stretch of restraint she was living in, when one evening her father told her that he was really anxious about Mrs. Gibson's cough, and should like Molly to give up a party at Mrs. Goodenough's, to which they were all three invited, but to which Molly alone was going. Molly's heart leaped up at the thought of stopping at home, even though the next moment she had to blame herself for rejoicing at a reprieve that was purchased by another's suffering. However, the remedies prescribed by her husband did Mrs. Gibson good; and she was particularly grateful and caressing to Molly.
Only Miss Phœbe would seek out Molly with even more tenderness than before; and this tested Molly's calmness more than all the slights combined. The gentle hand, holding hers under the table, and the constant attempts to draw her back into the conversation nearly brought Molly to tears. Sometimes, she wondered if this change in her friends' behavior was just her imagination; whether, if she hadn't had that brave conversation with her father, she would have noticed the difference in how they treated her. She never told her father about the ongoing small slights she felt: she had chosen to carry this burden on her own; in fact, she had insisted on being allowed to do so. It wasn't her place to worry him now by admitting that she was struggling with the consequences of her own choice. So she never even came up with an excuse for not participating in the small social gatherings or mingling with the people of Hollingford. It was only when her father mentioned one evening that he was genuinely concerned about Mrs. Gibson's cough and wanted Molly to skip the party at Mrs. Goodenough's—which they were all invited to, but Molly was the only one going—that she finally relaxed the restraint she had been living under. Molly's heart soared at the idea of staying home, even though she quickly scolded herself for feeling happy about a break that came at someone else's expense. Fortunately, the remedies prescribed by her husband helped Mrs. Gibson, and she became especially grateful and affectionate toward Molly.
"Really, dear!" said she, stroking Molly's head, "I think your hair is getting softer, and losing that disagreeable crisp curly feeling."
"Honestly, dear!" she said, gently running her fingers through Molly's hair, "I think your hair is getting softer and losing that annoying crunchy curl."
Then Molly knew that her stepmother was in high good-humour; the smoothness or curliness of her hair was a sure test of the favour in which Mrs. Gibson held her at the moment.
Then Molly realized that her stepmother was in a great mood; the smoothness or curliness of her hair was a sure sign of how Mrs. Gibson felt about her at that moment.
"I am so sorry to be the cause of detaining you from this little party, but dear papa is so over-anxious about me. I have always been a kind of pet with gentlemen, and poor Mr. Kirkpatrick never knew how to make enough of me. But I think Mr. Gibson is even more foolishly fond: his last words were, 'Take care of yourself, Hyacinth;' and then he came back again to say, 'If you don't attend to my directions I won't answer for the consequences.' I shook my forefinger at him, and said, 'Don't be so anxious, you silly man.'"
"I'm really sorry to hold you up from this little party, but my dad is just so worried about me. I've always been a bit of a favorite with the guys, and poor Mr. Kirkpatrick never figured out how to spoil me enough. But I think Mr. Gibson is even more absurdly affectionate; his last words were, 'Take care of yourself, Hyacinth,' and then he came back to say, 'If you don’t follow my advice, I can’t guarantee what will happen.' I shook my finger at him and said, 'Don’t be so worried, you silly man.'"
"I hope we have done everything he told us to do," said Molly.
"I hope we've done everything he asked us to do," said Molly.
"Oh yes! I feel so much better. Do you know, late as it is, I think you might go to Mrs. Goodenough's yet? Maria could take you, and I should like to see you dressed; when one has been wearing dull warm gowns for a week or two one gets quite a craving for bright colours, and evening dress. So go and get ready, dear, and then perhaps you'll bring me back some news, for really, shut up as I have been with only papa and you for the last fortnight, I've got quite moped and dismal, and I can't bear to keep young people from the gaieties suitable to their age."
"Oh yes! I feel so much better. You know, even though it’s late, I think you should still go to Mrs. Goodenough's? Maria could take you, and I’d love to see you dressed up; after wearing dull, warm gowns for a week or two, I really crave bright colors and evening wear. So go and get ready, dear, and maybe you can bring me back some news, because honestly, being cooped up with just Papa and you for the last two weeks has made me feel quite down and gloomy, and I really can’t stand keeping young people from enjoying the fun they deserve at their age."
"Oh, pray, mamma! I had so much rather not go!"
"Oh, please, Mom! I'd really rather not go!"
"Very well! very well! Only I think it is rather selfish of you, when you see I am so willing to make the sacrifice for your sake."
"Alright, alright! But I think it's a bit selfish of you when you see how willing I am to make this sacrifice for you."
"But you say it is a sacrifice to you, and I don't want to go."
"But you say it's a sacrifice for you, and I don't want to leave."
"Very well; did I not say you might stop at home? only pray don't chop logic; nothing is so fatiguing to a sick person."
"Alright; didn’t I say you could stay home? Just please don’t argue; nothing is more exhausting for someone who’s not feeling well."
Then they were silent for some time. Mrs. Gibson broke the silence by saying, in a languid voice—
Then they were quiet for a while. Mrs. Gibson finally spoke up, in a tired voice—
"Can't you think of anything amusing to say, Molly?"
"Can't you think of anything funny to say, Molly?"
Molly pumped up from the depths of her mind a few little trivialities which she had nearly forgotten, but she felt that they were anything but amusing, and so Mrs. Gibson seemed to feel them; for presently she said—
Molly recalled some minor details from her memory that she had almost forgotten, but she sensed they weren’t funny at all, and Mrs. Gibson seemed to feel the same; because soon she told—
"I wish Cynthia was at home." And Molly felt it as a reproach to her own dulness.
"I wish Cynthia were home." And Molly took it as a criticism of her own dullness.
"Shall I write to her and ask her to come back?"
"Should I write to her and ask her to come back?"
"Well, I'm not sure; I wish I knew a great many things. You've not heard anything of poor dear Osborne Hamley lately, have you?"
"Well, I'm not sure; I wish I knew a lot more. You haven't heard anything about poor dear Osborne Hamley recently, have you?"
Remembering her father's charge not to speak of Osborne's health, Molly made no reply, nor was any needed, for Mrs. Gibson went on thinking aloud—
Remembering her father's advice not to talk about Osborne's health, Molly said nothing, and none was needed, as Mrs. Gibson continued to think out loud
"You see, if Mr. Henderson has been as attentive as he was in the spring—and the chances about Roger—I shall be really grieved if anything happens to that young man, uncouth as he is, but it must be owned that Africa is not merely an unhealthy—it is a savage—and even in some parts a cannibal country. I often think of all I've read of it in geography books, as I lie awake at night, and if Mr. Henderson is really becoming attached! The future is hidden from us by infinite wisdom, Molly, or else I should like to know it; one would calculate one's behaviour at the present time so much better if one only knew what events were to come. But I think, on the whole, we had better not alarm Cynthia. If we had only known in time we might have planned for her to have come down with Lord Cumnor and my lady."
You know, if Mr. Henderson has been as attentive as he was in the spring—and considering the situation with Roger—I would be really upset if anything happened to that young man, awkward as he is. But it must be acknowledged that Africa is not just unhealthy; it's a dangerous place—and in some areas, it's a land of cannibals. I often think about everything I've read about it in geography books when I'm lying awake at night, and if Mr. Henderson is really starting to care! The future is kept from us by infinite wisdom, Molly, or else I would love to know it; it would make it so much easier to figure out how to behave right now if we only knew what was coming. But I think, overall, we should avoid alarming Cynthia. If we had only known sooner, we might have arranged for her to come down with Lord Cumnor and my lady.
"Are they coming? Is Lady Cumnor well enough to travel?"
"Are they on their way? Is Lady Cumnor healthy enough to travel?"
"Yes, to be sure; or else I should not have considered whether or no Cynthia could have come down with them. It would have sounded very well—more than respectable, and would have given her a position among that lawyer set in London."
"Yes, for sure; otherwise, I wouldn't have thought about whether Cynthia could have come down with them. It would have sounded great—more than respectable—and would have given her a place among that group of lawyers in London."
"Then Lady Cumnor is better?"
"Is Lady Cumnor feeling better?"
"To be sure. I should have thought papa would have mentioned it to you; but, to be sure, he is always so scrupulously careful not to speak about his patients. Quite right too—quite right and delicate. Why, he hardly ever tells me how they are going on. Yes! the Earl and the Countess, and Lady Harriet and Lord and Lady Cuxhaven, and Lady Agnes; and I've ordered a new winter bonnet and a black satin cloak."
"Of course. I thought Dad would have mentioned it to you; but, of course, he’s always so careful not to talk about his patients. That’s completely understandable—very proper and sensitive. Honestly, he barely ever updates me on how they’re doing. Yes! The Earl and the Countess, Lady Harriet and Lord and Lady Cuxhaven, and Lady Agnes; and I’ve ordered a new winter hat and a black satin cloak."
CHAPTER XLIX.
MOLLY GIBSON FINDS A CHAMPION.
Lady Cumnor had so far recovered from the violence of her attack, and from the consequent operation, as to be able to be removed to the Towers for change of air; and accordingly she was brought thither by her whole family with all the pomp and state becoming an invalid peeress. There was every probability that "the family" would make a longer residence at the Towers than they had done for several years, during which time they had been wanderers hither and thither in search of health. Somehow, after all, it was very pleasant and restful to come to the old ancestral home, and every member of the family enjoyed it in his or her own way; Lord Cumnor most especially. His talent for gossip and his love of small details had scarcely fair play in the hurry of a London life, and were much nipped in the bud during his Continental sojournings, as he neither spoke French fluently, nor understood it easily when spoken. Besides, he was a great proprietor, and liked to know how his land was going on; how his tenants were faring in the world. He liked to hear of their births, marriages, and deaths, and had something of a royal memory for faces. In short, if ever a peer was an old woman, Lord Cumnor was that peer; but he was a very good-natured old woman, and rode about on his stout old cob with his pockets full of halfpence for the children, and little packets of snuff for the old people. Like an old woman, too, he enjoyed an afternoon cup of tea in his wife's sitting-room, and over his gossip's beverage he would repeat all that he had learnt in the day. Lady Cumnor was exactly in that state of convalescence when such talk as her lord's was extremely agreeable to her, but she had contemned the habit of listening to gossip so severely all her life, that she thought it due to consistency to listen first, and enter a supercilious protest afterwards. It had, however, come to be a family habit for all of them to gather together in Lady Cumnor's room on their return from their daily walks, or drives, or rides, and over the fire, sipping their tea at her early meal, to recount the morsels of local intelligence they had heard during the morning. When they had said all that they had to say (and not before), they had always to listen to a short homily from her ladyship on the well-worn texts,—the poorness of conversation about persons,—the probable falsehood of all they had heard, and the degradation of character implied by its repetition. On one of these November evenings they were all assembled in Lady Cumnor's room. She was lying,—all draped in white, and covered up with an Indian shawl,—on a sofa near the fire. Lady Harriet sate on the rug, close before the wood-fire, picking up fallen embers with a pair of dwarf tongs, and piling them on the red and odorous heap in the centre of the hearth. Lady Cuxhaven, notable from girlhood, was using the blind man's holiday to net fruit-nets for the walls at Cuxhaven Park. Lady Cumnor's woman was trying to see to pour out tea by the light of one small wax-candle in the background (for Lady Cumnor could not bear much light to her weakened eyes); and the great leafless branches of the trees outside the house kept sweeping against the windows, moved by the wind that was gathering.
Lady Cumnor had recovered enough from her serious health issues and the surgery that followed to be moved to the Towers for some fresh air. So, her entire family brought her there with all the ceremony and attention fitting for an invalid noblewoman. It was likely that "the family" would stay at the Towers for a longer time than they had in several years, as they had been bouncing around looking for better health. Still, it was quite nice and relaxing to return to the old family home, and each member of the family enjoyed it in their own way; Lord Cumnor especially. His knack for gossip and love for small details didn’t get much opportunity to shine in the fast pace of London life, and his travels across Europe didn’t help much either since he didn’t speak French very well or understand it when others spoke. Besides, he was a big landowner and liked to keep tabs on how his land was doing and how his tenants were managing. He enjoyed hearing about their births, marriages, and deaths, and he had a remarkable memory for faces. In short, if there ever was a peer who embodied the traits of an elderly woman, it was Lord Cumnor; but he was a very kind-hearted one, riding around on his sturdy old horse with pockets full of pennies for the kids and little packets of snuff for the older folks. Like an old lady, he also liked to have afternoon tea in his wife’s sitting room, and over his cup of tea, he’d share all he had learned that day. Lady Cumnor was at a stage of recovery where her husband’s chatter was quite comforting, but she had shunned the habit of listening to gossip so thoroughly throughout her life that she felt it was only right to listen first and then express her disapproval later. Nonetheless, it had become a family tradition for everyone to gather in Lady Cumnor’s room after their daily walks, drives, or rides. While sipping tea during her early meal, they would share bits of local news they had gathered throughout the morning. After they finished sharing (and not before), they would always have to sit through a brief lecture from her about the usual topics—the triviality of gossiping about people, the likelihood that much of what they heard was false, and the damage to character that came from spreading it. One November evening, they were all together in Lady Cumnor’s room. She was lying on a sofa near the fire, draped in white and covered with an Indian shawl. Lady Harriet sat on the rug, right in front of the wood-fire, picking up fallen embers with a small pair of tongs and putting them onto the fragrant pile in the center of the hearth. Lady Cuxhaven, who had been notable since her youth, was using her free time to create fruit nets for the walls at Cuxhaven Park. Lady Cumnor’s maid was trying to pour tea using the light from a single small wax candle in the background (since Lady Cumnor couldn’t stand too much light with her strained eyes); and the great, leafless branches of the trees outside kept brushing against the windows, stirred by the gathering wind.
It was always Lady Cumnor's habit to snub those she loved best. Her husband was perpetually snubbed by her, yet she missed him now that he was later than usual, and professed not to want her tea; but they all knew that it was only because he was not there to hand it to her, and be found fault with for his invariable stupidity in forgetting that she liked to put sugar in before she took any cream. At length he burst in:—
It was always Lady Cumnor's habit to dismiss those she cared for the most. Her husband was constantly brushed off by her, yet she found herself missing him now that he was late, even though she claimed she didn't want her tea; but they all knew it was only because he wasn't there to serve it to her and to be criticized for his usual forgetfulness about her preference for sugar before cream. Finally, he burst in:—
"I beg your pardon, my lady,—I'm later than I should have been, I know. Why! haven't you had your tea yet?" he exclaimed, bustling about to get the cup for his wife.
"I’m really sorry, my lady—I know I’m later than I should be. Wow! Haven’t you had your tea yet?" he said, quickly moving to get a cup for his wife.
"You know I never take cream before I've sweetened it," said she, with even more emphasis on the "never" than usual.
"You know I never take cream before I’ve sweetened it," she said, putting even more emphasis on the "never" than usual.
"Oh, dear! What a simpleton I am! I think I might have remembered it by this time. You see I met old Sheepshanks, and that's the reason of it."
"Oh, man! What a fool I am! I thought I would have remembered it by now. You see, I ran into old Sheepshanks, and that’s why."
"Of your handing me the cream before the sugar?" asked his wife. It was one of her grim jokes.
"Are you talking about giving me the cream before the sugar?" his wife asked. It was one of her dark jokes.
"No, no! ha, ha! You're better this evening, I think, my dear. But, as I was saying, Sheepshanks is such an eternal talker, there's no getting away from him, and I had no idea it was so late!"
"No, no! Ha, ha! You seem better this evening, my dear. But, as I was saying, Sheepshanks is always talking; there’s no escaping him, and I had no idea it was so late!"
"Well, I think the least you can do is to tell us something of Mr. Sheepshanks' conversation now you have torn yourself away from him."
"Well, I think the least you can do is tell us something about Mr. Sheepshanks' conversation now that you’ve managed to pull yourself away from him."
"Conversation! did I call it conversation? I don't think I said much. I listened. He really has always a great deal to say. More than Preston, for instance. And, by the way, he was telling me something about Preston;—old Sheepshanks thinks he'll be married before long,—he says there's a great deal of gossip going on about him and Gibson's daughter. They've been caught meeting in the park, and corresponding, and all that kind of thing that is likely to end in a marriage."
"Talk! Did I say it was talk? I don’t think I said much. I just listened. He always has so much to say—more than Preston, for instance. By the way, he was telling me something about Preston; old Sheepshanks thinks he’ll be getting married soon—he says there’s a lot of gossip about him and Gibson’s daughter. They’ve been seen meeting in the park and exchanging messages, and all that stuff that usually leads to a wedding."
"I shall be very sorry," said Lady Harriet. "I always liked that girl; and I can't bear papa's model land-agent."
"I'll be really sorry," Lady Harriet said. "I always liked that girl, and I can't stand dad's ideal land agent."
"I daresay it's not true," said Lady Cumnor, in a very audible aside to Lady Harriet. "Papa picks up stories one day to contradict them the next."
"I dare say that's not true," said Lady Cumnor, in a clearly audible aside to Lady Harriet. "Dad picks up stories one day just to contradict them the next."
"Ah, but this did sound like truth. Sheepshanks said all the old ladies in the town had got hold of it, and were making a great scandal out of it."
"Ah, but this really sounded like the truth. Sheepshanks said all the old ladies in town had gotten a hold of it and were making a huge scandal out of it."
"I don't think it does sound quite a nice story. I wonder what Clare could be doing to allow such goings on," said Lady Cuxhaven.
"I don't think it sounds like a very nice story. I wonder what Clare could be doing to let all this happen," said Lady Cuxhaven.
"I think it is much more likely that Clare's own daughter—that pretty pawky Miss Kirkpatrick—is the real heroine of this story," said Lady Harriet. "She always looks like a heroine of genteel comedy; and those young ladies were capable of a good deal of innocent intriguing, if I remember rightly. Now little Molly Gibson has a certain gaucherie about her which would disqualify her at once from any clandestine proceedings. Besides, 'clandestine!' why, the child is truth itself. Papa, are you sure Mr. Sheepshanks said it was Miss Gibson that was exciting Hollingford scandal? Wasn't it Miss Kirkpatrick? The notion of her and Mr. Preston making a match of it doesn't sound so incongruous; but if it's my little friend Molly, I'll go to church and forbid the banns."
"I think it's way more likely that Clare's own daughter—that pretty, sly Miss Kirkpatrick—is the real star of this story," said Lady Harriet. "She always has that look of a heroine from a classy comedy; and those young ladies were capable of a good bit of innocent scheming, if I remember correctly. Now little Molly Gibson has a certain awkwardness about her that would immediately disqualify her from any secret efforts. Besides, 'secret!' come on, the girl is as honest as they come. Dad, are you sure Mr. Sheepshanks said it was Miss Gibson who was causing all that gossip in Hollingford? Wasn’t it Miss Kirkpatrick? The idea of her and Mr. Preston pairing up doesn’t seem so far-fetched, but if it’s my little friend Molly, I’ll go to church and stop the wedding."
"Really, Harriet, I can't think what always makes you take such an interest in all these petty Hollingford affairs."
"Honestly, Harriet, I can't figure out why you always seem so interested in all these little Hollingford issues."
"Mamma, it's only tit for tat. They take the most lively interest in all our sayings and doings. If I were going to be married, they would want to know every possible particular,—when we first met, what we first said to each other, what I wore, and whether he offered by letter or in person. I'm sure those good Miss Brownings were wonderfully well-informed as to Mary's methods of managing her nursery, and educating her girls; so it's only a proper return of the compliment to want to know on our side how they are going on. I'm quite of papa's faction. I like to hear all the local gossip."
"Mom, it’s just give and take. They’re really interested in everything we say and do. If I were getting married, they’d want to know every little detail—when we met, what we first said to each other, what I wore, and whether he asked me by letter or in person. I’m sure those nice Miss Brownings were very well-informed about how Mary runs her nursery and teaches her girls; so it’s only fair for us to want to know how they’re doing. I totally agree with Dad. I love hearing all the local gossip."
"Especially when it is flavoured with a spice of scandal and impropriety, as in this case," said Lady Cumnor, with the momentary bitterness of a convalescent invalid. Lady Harriet coloured with annoyance. But then she rallied her courage, and said with more gravity than before,—
"Especially when it’s mixed with a bit of scandal and impropriety, like in this case," said Lady Cumnor, momentarily bitter like someone recovering from an illness. Lady Harriet flushed with annoyance. But then she gathered her courage and said with more seriousness than before,—
"I am really interested in this story about Molly Gibson, I own. I both like and respect her; and I do not like to hear her name coupled with that of Mr. Preston. I can't help fancying papa has made some mistake."
"I’m really interested in this story about Molly Gibson, I admit. I both like and respect her, and I don’t want to hear her name mentioned alongside Mr. Preston's. I can’t help but think that Dad has made some mistake."
"No, my dear. I'm sure I'm repeating what I heard. I'm sorry I said anything about it, if it annoys you or my lady there. Sheepshanks did say Miss Gibson, though, and he went on to say it was a pity the girl had got herself so talked about; for it was the way they had carried on that gave rise to all the chatter. Preston himself was a very fair match for her, and nobody could have objected to it. But I'll try and find a more agreeable piece of news. Old Margery at the lodge is dead; and they don't know where to find some one to teach clear-starching at your school; and Robert Hall made forty pounds last year by his apples." So they drifted away from Molly and her affairs; only Lady Harriet kept turning what she had heard over in her own mind with interest and wonder.
"No, my dear. I’m sure I’m just repeating what I heard. I’m sorry I brought it up if it annoys you or your lady friend. Sheepshanks did mention Miss Gibson, though, and he went on to say it was a shame the girl had gotten so much attention; it was the way they had behaved that caused all the gossip. Preston himself would have made a great match for her, and no one could have objected to it. But I’ll try to find some better news. Old Margery at the lodge has passed away, and they’re struggling to find someone to teach clear-starching at your school; and Robert Hall made forty pounds last year from his apples." So they moved away from Molly and her situation; only Lady Harriet kept pondering what she had heard with interest and curiosity.
"I warned her against him the day of her father's wedding. And what a straightforward, out-spoken topic it was then! I don't believe it; it's only one of old Sheepshanks' stories, half invention and half deafness."
"I warned her about him on the day of her dad's wedding. And it was such a clear and open topic at that time! I can't believe it; it's just one of old Sheepshanks' tales, part fiction and part misunderstanding."
The next day Lady Harriet rode over to Hollingford, and for the settling of her curiosity she called on Miss Brownings, and introduced the subject. She would not have spoken about the rumour she had heard to any who were not warm friends of Molly's. If Mr. Sheepshanks had chosen to allude to it when she had been riding with her father, she would very soon have silenced him by one of the haughty looks she knew full well how to assume. But she felt as if she must know the truth, and accordingly she began thus abruptly to Miss Browning:
The next day, Lady Harriet rode over to Hollingford, and to satisfy her curiosity, she visited Miss Brownings and brought up the topic. She wouldn't have mentioned the rumor she had heard to anyone who wasn’t a close friend of Molly’s. If Mr. Sheepshanks had dared to bring it up when she was riding with her father, she would have quickly silenced him with one of the haughty looks she was skilled at giving. But she felt she needed to know the truth, so she started the conversation rather abruptly with Miss Browning:
"What is all this I hear about my little friend Molly Gibson and Mr. Preston?"
"What’s all this I’m hearing about my little friend Molly Gibson and Mr. Preston?"
"Oh, Lady Harriet! have you heard of it? We are so sorry!"
"Oh, Lady Harriet! Have you heard about it? We're so sorry!"
"Sorry for what?"
"Sorry for what?"
"I think, begging your ladyship's pardon, we had better not say any more till we know how much you know," said Miss Browning.
"I think, with all due respect, we should hold off on saying anything more until we know how much you already know," said Miss Browning.
"Nay," replied Lady Harriet, laughing a little, "I shan't tell what I know till I am sure you know more. Then we'll make an exchange if you like."
"No," replied Lady Harriet, chuckling a bit, "I won't share what I know until I'm sure you know more. Then we can trade information if you want."
"I'm afraid it's no laughing matter for poor Molly," said Miss Browning, shaking her head. "People do say such things!"
"I'm afraid it's not a joke for poor Molly," said Miss Browning, shaking her head. "People really say those things!"
"But I don't believe them; indeed I don't," burst in Miss Phœbe, half crying.
"But I don't believe them; I really don't," interrupted Miss Phœbe, nearly in tears.
"No more will I, then," said Lady Harriet, taking the good lady's hand.
"No more will I, then," said Lady Harriet, taking the kind woman's hand.
"It's all very fine, Phœbe, saying you don't believe them, but I should like to know who it was that convinced me, sadly against my will, I am sure."
"It's all well and good, Phœbe, to say you don’t believe them, but I’d really like to know who it was that convinced me, definitely against my will, I’m sure."
"I only told you the facts as Mrs. Goodenough told them me, sister; but I'm sure if you had seen poor patient Molly as I have done, sitting up in a corner of a room, looking at the Beauties of England and Wales till she must have been sick of them, and no one speaking to her; and she as gentle and sweet as ever at the end of the evening, though maybe a bit pale—facts or no facts, I won't believe anything against her."
"I only shared the facts as Mrs. Goodenough shared them with me, sister; but I’m certain if you had seen poor patient Molly like I have, sitting in a corner of the room, staring at the Beauties of England and Wales until she must have been tired of them, with no one talking to her; and she remained as gentle and sweet as ever at the end of the evening, even if she was a little pale—facts or no facts, I won’t believe anything against her."
So there sate Miss Phœbe, in tearful defiance of facts.
So there sat Miss Phoebe, tearfully defying the facts.
"And, as I said before, I'm quite of your opinion," said Lady Harriet.
"And, as I mentioned earlier, I completely agree with you," said Lady Harriet.
"But how does your ladyship explain away her meetings with Mr. Preston in all sorts of unlikely and open-air places?" asked Miss Browning,—who, to do her justice, would have been only too glad to join Molly's partisans, if she could have preserved her character for logical deduction at the same time. "I went so far as to send for her father and tell him all about it. I thought at least he would have horsewhipped Mr. Preston; but he seems to have taken no notice of it."
"But how does your ladyship explain her meetings with Mr. Preston in all sorts of unusual and open places?" asked Miss Browning—who, to give her credit, would have been more than happy to join Molly's supporters if she could maintain her reputation for logical reasoning at the same time. "I even went as far as to call her father and tell him everything. I thought for sure he would have confronted Mr. Preston, but it seems he took no action at all."
"Then we may be quite sure he knows some way of explaining matters that we don't," said Lady Harriet, decisively. "After all, there may be a hundred and fifty perfectly natural and justifiable explanations."
"Then we can be pretty sure he has some way of explaining things that we don't," said Lady Harriet, confidently. "After all, there could be one hundred and fifty completely natural and reasonable explanations."
"Mr. Gibson knew of none when I thought it my duty to speak to him," said Miss Browning.
"Mr. Gibson didn’t know anything when I felt it was my duty to talk to him," said Miss Browning.
"Why, suppose that Mr. Preston is engaged to Miss Kirkpatrick, and Molly is confidante and messenger?"
"Why, let's say Mr. Preston is dating Miss Kirkpatrick, and Molly is the one who knows everything and relays messages?"
"I don't see that your ladyship's supposition much alters the blame. Why, if he is honourably engaged to Cynthia Kirkpatrick, does he not visit her openly at her home in Mr. Gibson's house? Why does Molly lend herself to clandestine proceedings?"
"I don't think your ladyship's assumption really changes the blame. If he's truly committed to Cynthia Kirkpatrick, why doesn’t he visit her openly at Mr. Gibson's house? Why is Molly involved in secret activities?"
"One can't account for everything," said Lady Harriet, a little impatiently, for reason was going hard against her. "But I choose to have faith in Molly Gibson. I'm sure she's not done anything very wrong. I've a great mind to go and call on her—Mrs. Gibson is confined to her room with this horrid influenza—and take her with me on a round of calls through this little gossiping town,—on Mrs. Goodenough, or Badenough, who seems to have been propagating all these stories. But I've not time to-day. I've to meet papa at three, and it's three now. Only remember, Miss Phœbe, it's you and I against the world, in defence of a distressed damsel."
"One can't explain everything," said Lady Harriet, a bit impatiently, as reason was working against her. "But I choose to have faith in Molly Gibson. I'm sure she hasn't done anything that wrong. I'm really tempted to go visit her—Mrs. Gibson is stuck in her room with this terrible flu—and take her with me on a round of visits through this nosy little town—like Mrs. Goodenough, or Badenough, who seems to be spreading all these stories. But I don’t have time today. I have to meet Dad at three, and it’s three now. Just remember, Miss Phœbe, it's you and me against the world, defending a damsel in distress."
"Don Quixote and Sancho Panza!" said she to herself as she ran lightly down Miss Browning's old-fashioned staircase.
"Don Quixote and Sancho Panza!" she said to herself as she quickly walked down Miss Browning's old-fashioned staircase.
"Now, I don't think that's pretty of you, Phœbe," said Miss Browning in some displeasure, as soon as she was alone with her sister. "First, you convince me against my will, and make me very unhappy; and I have to do unpleasant things, all because you've made me believe that certain statements are true; and then you turn round and cry, and say you don't believe a word of it all, making me out a regular ogre and backbiter. No! it's of no use. I shan't listen to you." So she left Miss Phœbe in tears, and locked herself up in her own room.
"Now, I don’t think that’s fair, Phœbe," Miss Browning said with some annoyance as soon as she was alone with her sister. "First, you convince me against my will and make me really unhappy; then I have to do unpleasant things, all because you've made me believe certain things are true; and then you turn around and cry, saying you don’t believe any of it, making me look like a total villain. No! It’s no use. I won’t listen to you." With that, she left Miss Phœbe in tears and locked herself in her room.
Lady Harriet, meanwhile, was riding homewards by her father's side, apparently listening to all he chose to say, but in reality turning over the probabilities and possibilities that might account for these strange interviews between Molly and Mr. Preston. It was a case of parler de l'âne et l'on en voit les oreilles. At a turn in the road they saw Mr. Preston a little way before them, coming towards them on his good horse, point device, in his riding attire.
Lady Harriet, in the meantime, was riding home with her father, seeming to listen to everything he said, but in reality, she was considering the chances and reasons that could explain these unusual meetings between Molly and Mr. Preston. It was a case of parler de l'âne et l'on en voit les oreilles. At a bend in the road, they spotted Mr. Preston a short distance ahead, coming toward them on his fine horse, point device, dressed in his riding gear.
The earl, in his thread-bare coat, and on his old brown cob, called out cheerfully,—
The earl, in his worn-out coat, and on his old brown horse, called out cheerfully,—
"Aha! here's Preston. Good-day to you. I was just wanting to ask you about that slip of pasture-land on the Home Farm. John Brickkill wants to plough it up and crop it. It's not two acres at the best."
"Aha! There’s Preston. Good day to you. I wanted to ask you about that small piece of pasture land on the Home Farm. John Brickkill wants to plow it up and farm it. It’s barely two acres at most."
While they were talking over this bit of land, Lady Harriet came to her resolution. As soon as her father had finished, she said,—"Mr. Preston, perhaps you will allow me to ask you one or two questions to relieve my mind, for I am in some little perplexity at present."
While they were discussing this piece of land, Lady Harriet made up her mind. Once her father had finished, she said, "Mr. Preston, may I ask you a couple of questions to clear my mind? I’m feeling a bit confused at the moment."
"Certainly; I shall only be too happy to give you any information in my power." But the moment after he had made this polite speech, he recollected Molly's speech—that she would refer her case to Lady Harriet. But the letters had been returned, and the affair was now wound up. She had come off conqueror, he the vanquished. Surely she would never have been so ungenerous as to appeal after that.
"Of course; I’d be more than happy to provide you with any information I can." But right after he said this polite line, he remembered Molly's words—that she would take her case to Lady Harriet. But the letters had been returned, and the matter was now settled. She had come out on top, while he had lost. Surely she wouldn’t be so unkind as to reach out after that.
"There are reports about Miss Gibson and you current among the gossips of Hollingford. Are we to congratulate you on your engagement to that young lady?"
"There are rumors going around in Hollingford about you and Miss Gibson. Should we congratulate you on your engagement to her?"
"Ah! by the way, Preston, we ought to have done it before," interrupted Lord Cumnor, in hasty goodwill. But his daughter said quietly, "Mr. Preston has not yet told us if the reports are well founded, papa."
"Hey, by the way, Preston, we should have taken care of that already," Lord Cumnor interrupted, eager to be helpful. But his daughter replied calmly, "Mr. Preston hasn’t told us yet if the reports are accurate, Dad."
She looked at him with the air of a person expecting an answer, and expecting a truthful answer.
She looked at him like someone waiting for a response, and wanting an honest one.
"I am not so fortunate," replied he, trying to make his horse appear fidgety, without incurring observation.
"I’m not that lucky," he replied, trying to make his horse seem restless without drawing attention.
"Then I may contradict that report?" asked Lady Harriet quickly. "Or is there any reason for believing that in time it may come true? I ask because such reports, if unfounded, do harm to young ladies."
"Then can I contradict that report?" Lady Harriet asked quickly. "Or is there any reason to believe it might come true eventually? I'm asking because such reports, if they're not true, can harm young women."
"Keep other sweethearts off," put in Lord Cumnor, looking a good deal pleased at his own discernment. Lady Harriet went on:—
"Keep other sweethearts away," Lord Cumnor chimed in, looking quite pleased with himself. Lady Harriet continued:—
"And I take a great interest in Miss Gibson."
"And I'm very interested in Miss Gibson."
Mr. Preston saw from her manner that he was "in for it," as he expressed it to himself. The question was, how much or how little did she know?
Mr. Preston could tell from her behavior that he was "in for it," as he thought to himself. The question was, how much or how little did she know?
"I have no expectation or hope of ever having a nearer interest in Miss Gibson than I have at present. I shall be glad if this straightforward answer relieves your ladyship from your perplexity."
"I don’t expect or hope to have any closer connection with Miss Gibson than I do right now. I’ll be glad if this honest answer eases your ladyship's confusion."
He could not help the touch of insolence that accompanied these last words. It was not in the words themselves, nor in the tone in which they were spoken, nor in the look which accompanied them, it was in all; it implied a doubt of Lady Harriet's right to question him as she did; and there was something of defiance in it as well. But this touch of insolence put Lady Harriet's mettle up; and she was not one to check herself, in any course, for the opinion of an inferior.
He couldn't hide the hint of arrogance in his last words. It wasn't just the words themselves, the tone he used, or the look he gave; it was all of it combined. It suggested a doubt about Lady Harriet's right to question him the way she did, and there was a bit of defiance in it too. This touch of arrogance only fueled Lady Harriet's determination; she wasn't one to hold back on her course of action because of what someone she considered beneath her thought.
"Then, sir! are you aware of the injury you may do to a young lady's reputation if you meet her, and detain her in long conversations, when she is walking by herself, unaccompanied by any one? You give rise—you have given rise to reports."
"Then, sir! Are you aware of the damage you could cause to a young lady's reputation if you meet her and keep her in long conversations while she’s walking alone? You create—you have created rumors."
"My dear Harriet, are not you going too far? You don't know—Mr. Preston may have intentions—unacknowledged intentions."
"My dear Harriet, aren't you going a bit too far? You don't realize—Mr. Preston might have intentions—unspoken intentions."
"No, my lord. I have no intentions with regard to Miss Gibson. She may be a very worthy young lady—I have no doubt she is. Lady Harriet seems determined to push me into such a position that I cannot but acknowledge myself to be—it is not enviable—not pleasant to own—but I am, in fact, a jilted man; jilted by Miss Kirkpatrick, after a tolerably long engagement. My interviews with Miss Gibson were not of the most agreeable kind—as you may conclude when I tell you she was, I believe, the instigator—certainly, she was the agent in this last step of Miss Kirkpatrick's. Is your ladyship's curiosity" (with an emphasis on this last word) "satisfied with this rather mortifying confession of mine?"
"No, my lord. I have no intentions towards Miss Gibson. She may be a very admirable young lady—I have no doubt she is. Lady Harriet seems determined to push me into a position where I can’t help but admit that I—it's not enviable—not pleasant to admit—but I am, in fact, a jilted man; jilted by Miss Kirkpatrick, after a fairly long engagement. My meetings with Miss Gibson were not the most enjoyable—as you might conclude when I tell you she was, I believe, the instigator—certainly, she was the one who played a role in Miss Kirkpatrick's final decision. Is your ladyship's curiosity" (with emphasis on this last word) "satisfied with this rather humiliating confession of mine?"
"Harriet, my dear, you've gone too far—we had no right to pry into Mr. Preston's private affairs."
"Harriet, my dear, you've overstepped—we had no right to invade Mr. Preston's privacy."
"No more I had," said Lady Harriet, with a smile of winning frankness: the first smile she had accorded to Mr. Preston for many a long day; ever since the time, years ago, when, presuming on his handsomeness, he had assumed a tone of gallant familiarity with Lady Harriet, and paid her personal compliments as he would have done to an equal.
"No more I had," said Lady Harriet, with a charmingly sincere smile; it was the first smile she had given to Mr. Preston in ages. This date back to years ago when he had, feeling confident because of his good looks, taken on a casual tone with Lady Harriet and made personal compliments as if she were his equal.
"But he will excuse me, I hope," continued she, still in that gracious manner which made him feel that he now held a much higher place in her esteem than he had had at the beginning of their interview, "when he learns that the busy tongues of the Hollingford ladies have been speaking of my friend, Miss Gibson, in the most unwarrantable manner; drawing unjustifiable inferences from the facts of that intercourse with Mr. Preston, the nature of which he has just conferred such a real obligation on me by explaining."
"But I hope he will forgive me," she continued, still using that charming tone that made him feel he now held a much higher place in her regard than he had at the start of their conversation, "when he finds out that the gossiping ladies of Hollingford have been talking about my friend, Miss Gibson, in the most outrageous way; making unfair assumptions about her interactions with Mr. Preston, the nature of which he has just really helped me understand."
"I think I need hardly request Lady Harriet to consider this explanation of mine as confidential," said Mr. Preston.
"I don't think I need to ask Lady Harriet to keep this explanation of mine confidential," said Mr. Preston.
"Of course, of course!" said the earl; "every one will understand that." And he rode home, and told his wife and Lady Cuxhaven the whole conversation between Lady Harriet and Mr. Preston; in the strictest confidence, of course. Lady Harriet had to stand a good many strictures on manners, and proper dignity for a few days after this. However, she consoled herself by calling on the Gibsons; and, finding that Mrs. Gibson (who was still an invalid) was asleep at the time, she experienced no difficulty in carrying off the unconscious Molly for a walk, which Lady Harriet so contrived that they twice passed through all the length of the principal street of the town, loitered at Grinstead's for half an hour, and wound up by Lady Harriet's calling on the Miss Brownings, who, to her regret, were not at home.
"Of course, of course!" said the earl; "everyone will get that." And he rode home and told his wife and Lady Cuxhaven all about the conversation between Lady Harriet and Mr. Preston, keeping it strictly confidential, of course. Lady Harriet faced quite a few comments about her manners and dignity for a few days after that. However, she cheered herself up by visiting the Gibsons; and, finding that Mrs. Gibson (who was still unwell) was asleep at the time, she had no trouble taking the unsuspecting Molly out for a walk, which Lady Harriet planned so that they passed through the entire main street of the town twice, lingered at Grinstead's for half an hour, and ended with Lady Harriet visiting the Miss Brownings, who, unfortunately, were not home.
"Perhaps, it's as well," said she, after a minute's consideration. "I'll leave my card, and put your name down underneath it, Molly."
"Maybe that's for the best," she said after a minute of thinking. "I'll leave my card and write your name underneath it, Molly."
Molly was a little puzzled by the manner in which she had been taken possession of, like an inanimate chattel, for all the afternoon, and exclaimed,—"Please, Lady Harriet—I never leave cards; I have not got any, and on the Miss Brownings, of all people; why, I am in and out whenever I like."
Molly was a bit confused about how she had been treated, like an object, all afternoon, and exclaimed, “Please, Lady Harriet—I never leave cards; I don’t have any, especially not for the Miss Brownings; I come and go as I please.”
"Never mind, little one. To-day you shall do everything properly, and according to full etiquette."
"Don’t worry, dear. Today, you’ll do everything right and follow all the proper etiquette."
"And now tell Mrs. Gibson to come out to the Towers for a long day; we will send the carriage for her whenever she will let us know that she is strong enough to come. Indeed, she had better come for a few days; at this time of the year it doesn't do for an invalid to be out in the evenings, even in a carriage." So spoke Lady Harriet, standing on the white door-steps at Miss Brownings', and holding Molly's hand while she wished her good-by. "You'll tell her, dear, that I came partly to see her—but that finding her asleep, I ran off with you, and don't forget about her coming to stay with us for change of air—mamma will like it, I'm sure—and the carriage, and all that. And now good-by, we've done a good day's work! And better than you're aware of," continued she, still addressing Molly, though the latter was quite out of hearing. "Hollingford is not the place I take it to be, if it doesn't veer round in Miss Gibson's favour after my to-day's trotting of that child about."
"And now tell Mrs. Gibson to come out to the Towers for a long day; we’ll send the carriage for her whenever she lets us know she’s strong enough to come. In fact, she should probably come for a few days; at this time of year, it’s not good for someone recovering to be out in the evenings, even in a carriage." So said Lady Harriet, standing on the white steps at Miss Browning's and holding Molly's hand while she said goodbye. "You’ll tell her, dear, that I came partly to see her—but since I found her asleep, I took off with you, and don’t forget about her coming to stay with us for some fresh air—mama will like it, I’m sure—and the carriage, and all that. And now goodbye, we’ve done a good day’s work! And better than you realize," she continued, still talking to Molly, although Molly was already out of earshot. "Hollingford isn’t the place I think it is if it doesn’t turn in Miss Gibson’s favor after my running that child around today."
CHAPTER L.
CYNTHIA AT BAY.
Mrs. Gibson was slow in recovering her strength after the influenza, and before she was well enough to accept Lady Harriet's invitation to the Towers, Cynthia came home from London. If Molly had thought her manner of departure was scarcely as affectionate and considerate as it might have been,—if such a thought had crossed Molly's fancy for an instant, she was repentant for it as soon as ever Cynthia returned, and the girls met together face to face, with all the old familiar affection, going upstairs to the drawing-room, with their arms round each other's waists, and sitting there together hand in hand. Cynthia's whole manner was more quiet than it had been, when the weight of her unpleasant secret rested on her mind, and made her alternately despondent or flighty.
Mrs. Gibson took a while to regain her strength after the flu, and before she was well enough to accept Lady Harriet's invitation to the Towers, Cynthia came back home from London. If Molly had felt that Cynthia's departure was a bit lacking in affection and thoughtfulness—if that thought had crossed Molly's mind for even a moment, she felt sorry about it as soon as Cynthia returned, and when they met face to face, all their old familiar affection came rushing back. They went upstairs to the drawing-room with their arms around each other and sat there hand in hand. Cynthia seemed more calm than before, when the burden of her troublesome secret weighed heavily on her mind, making her either downcast or overly cheerful.
"After all," said Cynthia, "there's a look of home about these rooms which is very pleasant. But I wish I could see you looking stronger, mamma! that's the only unpleasant thing. Molly, why didn't you send for me?"
"After all," said Cynthia, "these rooms have a homey feel that’s really nice. But I wish I could see you looking healthier, Mom! That’s the only downside. Molly, why didn’t you call for me?"
"I wanted to do," began Molly—
"I wanted to do," started Molly—
"But I wouldn't let her," said Mrs. Gibson. "You were much better in London than here, for you could have done me no good; and your letters were very agreeable to read; and now Helen is better, and I'm nearly well, and you've come home just at the right time, for everybody is full of the Charity Ball."
"But I wouldn't allow her," Mrs. Gibson said. "You were way better off in London than here because you wouldn't have been able to help me at all; and your letters were really nice to read; and now Helen is better, and I'm almost fully recovered, and you've come back just in time since everyone is buzzing about the Charity Ball."
"But we are not going this year, mamma," said Cynthia decidedly. "It's on the 25th, isn't it? and I'm sure you'll never be well enough to take us."
"But we're not going this year, Mom," Cynthia said firmly. "It's on the 25th, right? And I'm pretty sure you'll never be well enough to take us."
"You really seem determined to make me out worse than I am, child," said Mrs. Gibson, rather querulously, she being one of those who, when their malady is only trifling, exaggerate it, but when it is really of some consequence, are unwilling to sacrifice any pleasures by acknowledging it. It was well for her in this instance that her husband had wisdom and authority enough to forbid her going to this ball, on which she had set her heart; but the consequence of his prohibition was an increase of domestic plaintiveness and low spirits, which seemed to tell on Cynthia—the bright gay Cynthia herself—and it was often hard work for Molly to keep up the spirits of two other people as well as her own. Ill-health might account for Mrs. Gibson's despondency, but why was Cynthia so silent, not to say so sighing? Molly was puzzled to account for it; and all the more perplexed because from time to time Cynthia kept calling upon her for praise for some unknown and mysterious virtue that she had practised; and Molly was young enough to believe that, after any exercise of virtue, the spirits rose, cheered up by an approving conscience. Such was not the case with Cynthia, however. She sometimes said such things as these, when she had been particularly inert and desponding:—
"You really seem set on making me look worse than I am, dear," said Mrs. Gibson, rather grumpily. She was one of those people who, when their issue is minor, exaggerate it, but when it’s actually serious, they’re reluctant to give up any pleasures by acknowledging it. Luckily for her this time, her husband had enough wisdom and authority to stop her from going to the ball she was so eager to attend. However, his refusal only made the atmosphere at home more moody and gloomy, which seemed to affect Cynthia—the bright, cheerful Cynthia herself—and it was often challenging for Molly to lift the spirits of both other people while managing her own. While her mom's sadness could be attributed to her poor health, why was Cynthia so quiet, not to mention so sighing? Molly was confused about it and even more troubled because occasionally Cynthia asked her for praise for some unknown and mysterious virtue she claimed to have practiced. Molly, being young, believed that after doing something virtuous, one's spirits would lift thanks to a clear conscience. But that wasn’t the case with Cynthia. She sometimes said things like this when she had been especially lethargic and down:—
"Ah, Molly, you must let my goodness lie fallow for a while! It has borne such a wonderful crop this year. I have been so pretty-behaved—if you knew all!" Or, "Really, Molly, my virtue must come down from the clouds! It was strained to the utmost in London—and I find it is like a kite—after soaring aloft for some time, it suddenly comes down, and gets tangled in all sorts of briars and brambles; which things are an allegory, unless you can bring yourself to believe in my extraordinary goodness while I was away—giving me a sort of right to fall foul of all mamma's briars and brambles now."
"Ah, Molly, you have to let my goodness take a break for a bit! It has produced such a fantastic outcome this year. I've been so well-behaved—if only you knew everything!" Or, "Seriously, Molly, my virtue needs to come back down to earth! It was pushed to its limits in London—and I realize it’s like a kite—after flying high for a while, it suddenly comes down and gets all tangled up in various thorns and brambles; which is just a metaphor, unless you can really believe in my incredible goodness while I was away—giving me a sort of right to get stuck in all of mom's thorns and brambles now."
But Molly had had some experience of Cynthia's whim of perpetually hinting at a mystery which she did not mean to reveal in the Mr. Preston days, and, although she was occasionally piqued into curiosity, Cynthia's allusions at something more in the background fell in general on rather deaf ears. One day the mystery burst its shell, and came out in the shape of an offer made to Cynthia by Mr. Henderson—and refused. Under all the circumstances, Molly could not appreciate the heroic goodness so often alluded to. The revelation of the secret at last took place in this way. Mrs. Gibson breakfasted in bed: she had done so ever since she had had the influenza; and, consequently, her own private letters always went up on her breakfast-tray. One morning she came into the drawing-room earlier than usual, with an open letter in her hand.
But Molly had some experience with Cynthia’s habit of always hinting at a mystery she never planned to share back in the Mr. Preston days. Although she sometimes felt curious, Cynthia's references to something deeper usually went unnoticed. One day, the mystery finally revealed itself as an offer made to Cynthia by Mr. Henderson—and declined. Given the circumstances, Molly couldn’t appreciate the heroic goodness that was frequently mentioned. The secret ultimately came to light in this way: Mrs. Gibson had been having breakfast in bed since she had the flu, so her personal letters were always delivered with her breakfast tray. One morning, she walked into the drawing-room earlier than usual, holding an open letter.
"I've had a letter from aunt Kirkpatrick, Cynthia. She sends me my dividends,—your uncle is so busy. But what does she mean by this, Cynthia?" (holding out the letter to her, with a certain paragraph indicated by her finger). Cynthia put her netting on one side, and looked at the writing. Suddenly her face turned scarlet, and then became of a deadly white. She looked at Molly, as if to gain courage from the strong serene countenance.
"I got a letter from Aunt Kirkpatrick, Cynthia. She’s sending me my dividends—your uncle is so busy. But what does she mean by this, Cynthia?" (holding out the letter to her, pointing to a specific paragraph). Cynthia set aside her netting and glanced at the writing. Suddenly, her face turned bright red, then went completely pale. She looked at Molly, as if trying to draw strength from her calm, composed expression.
"It means—mamma, I may as well tell you at once—Mr. Henderson offered to me while I was in London, and I refused him."
"It means—Mom, I might as well tell you right away—Mr. Henderson proposed to me while I was in London, and I turned him down."
"Refused him—and you never told me, but let me hear it by chance! Really, Cynthia, I think you're very unkind. And pray what made you refuse Mr. Henderson? Such a fine young man,—and such a gentleman! Your uncle told me he had a very good private fortune besides."
"Rejected him—and you never mentioned it to me, but I found out by accident! Honestly, Cynthia, I think you’re being really cruel. Now, why did you turn down Mr. Henderson? He’s such a great guy—and a true gentleman! Your uncle mentioned that he has a pretty good personal fortune, too."
"Mamma, do you forget that I have promised to marry Roger Hamley?" said Cynthia quietly.
"Mom, do you forget that I promised to marry Roger Hamley?" said Cynthia quietly.
"No! of course I don't—how can I, with Molly always dinning the word 'engagement' into my ears? But really, when one considers all the uncertainties,—and after all it was not a distinct promise,—he seemed almost as if he might have looked forward to something of this sort."
"No! Of course I don’t—how can I, with Molly always drilling the word 'engagement' into my ears? But honestly, when you think about all the uncertainties—and after all it wasn’t a clear promise—he almost seemed like he might have expected something like this."
"Of what sort, mamma?" said Cynthia, sharply.
"Of what kind, mom?" Cynthia asked sharply.
"Why, of a more eligible offer. He must have known you might change your mind, and meet with some one you liked better: so little as you had seen of the world." Cynthia made an impatient movement, as if to stop her mother.
"Why, of a better offer. He must have known you might change your mind and meet someone you liked more, given how little you had seen of the world." Cynthia made an impatient gesture, as if to stop her mother.
"I never said I liked him better,—how can you talk so, mamma? I'm going to marry Roger, and there's an end of it. I will not be spoken to about it again." She got up and left the room.
"I never said I liked him more—how can you say that, Mom? I'm going to marry Roger, and that's final. I don’t want to discuss it anymore." She got up and left the room.
"Going to marry Roger! That's all very fine. But who is to guarantee his coming back alive? And if he does, what have they to marry upon, I should like to know? I don't wish her to have accepted Mr. Henderson, though I am sure she liked him; and true love ought to have its course, and not be thwarted; but she need not have quite finally refused him until—well, until we had seen how matters turn out. Such an invalid as I am too! It has given me quite a palpitation at the heart. I do call it quite unfeeling of Cynthia."
"She's going to marry Roger! That's all great, but who can guarantee he'll come back alive? And if he does, what will they have to start their life together? I really hope she hasn't accepted Mr. Henderson, even though I know she liked him; true love needs to take its course and shouldn't be interrupted. But she didn't have to completely turn him down until—well, until we saw how things played out. Here I am, such an invalid! It's given me quite a scare. I think it's really unfeeling of Cynthia."
"Certainly,—" began Molly; but then she remembered that her stepmother was far from strong, and unable to bear a protest in favour of the right course without irritation. So she changed her speech into a suggestion of remedies for palpitation; and curbed her impatience to speak out her indignation at the contemplated falsehood to Roger. But when they were alone, and Cynthia began upon the subject, Molly was less merciful. Cynthia said,—
"Surely,—" started Molly; but then she realized that her stepmother wasn't very strong and couldn't handle a disagreement about what was right without getting annoyed. So she switched her words to suggest ways to ease her palpitations and held back her frustration about the planned deception towards Roger. But when they were alone, and Cynthia brought up the topic, Molly wasn't as lenient. Cynthia said,—
"Well, Molly, and now you know all! I've been longing to tell you—and yet somehow I could not."
"Well, Molly, now you know everything! I've really wanted to tell you—and yet somehow I just couldn't."
"I suppose it was a repetition of Mr. Coxe," said Molly, gravely. "You were agreeable,—and he took it for something more."
"I guess it was just like Mr. Coxe," said Molly seriously. "You were friendly, and he mistook it for something more."
"I don't know," sighed Cynthia. "I mean I don't know if I was agreeable or not. He was very kind—very pleasant—but I did not expect it all to end as it did. However, it's of no use thinking of it."
"I don't know," sighed Cynthia. "I mean, I can't tell if I was agreeable or not. He was really kind—super pleasant—but I didn't expect it to end like this. Anyway, there's no point in dwelling on it."
"No!" said Molly, simply; for to her mind the pleasantest and kindest person in the world put in comparison with Roger was as nothing; he stood by himself. Cynthia's next words,—and they did not come very soon,—were on quite a different subject, and spoken in rather a pettish tone. Nor did she allude again in jesting sadness to her late efforts at virtue.
"No!" said Molly, plainly; because in her opinion, the nicest and most gentle person in the world seemed insignificant compared to Roger; he was in a league of his own. Cynthia's next words—which took a while to come—were about something completely different and spoken in a bit of a sulky tone. She also didn't bring up her recent attempts at being good again with feigned sadness.
In a little while Mrs. Gibson was able to accept the often-repeated invitation from the Towers to go and stay there for a day or two. Lady Harriet told her that it would be a kindness to Lady Cumnor to come and bear her company in the life of seclusion the latter was still compelled to lead; and Mrs. Gibson was flattered and gratified with a dim unconscious sense of being really wanted, not merely deluding herself into a pleasing fiction. Lady Cumnor was in that state of convalescence common to many invalids. The spring of life had begun again to flow, and with the flow returned the old desires and projects and plans, which had all become mere matters of indifference during the worst part of her illness. But as yet her bodily strength was not sufficient to be an agent to her energetic mind, and the difficulty of driving the ill-matched pair of body and will—the one weak and languid, the other strong and stern,—made her ladyship often very irritable. Mrs. Gibson herself was not quite strong enough for a "souffre-douleur;" and the visit to the Towers was not, on the whole, quite so happy a one as she had anticipated. Lady Cuxhaven and Lady Harriet, each aware of their mother's state of health and temper, but only alluding to it as slightly as was absolutely necessary in their conversations with each other, took care not to leave "Clare" too long with Lady Cumnor; but several times when one or the other went to relieve guard they found Clare in tears, and Lady Cumnor holding forth on some point on which she had been meditating during the silent hours of her illness, and on which she seemed to consider herself born to set the world to rights. Mrs. Gibson was always apt to consider these remarks as addressed with a personal direction at some error of her own, and defended the fault in question with a sense of property in it, whatever it might happen to be. The second and the last day of her stay at the Towers, Lady Harriet came in, and found her mother haranguing in an excited tone of voice, and Clare looking submissive and miserable and oppressed.
Soon, Mrs. Gibson accepted the repeated invitation from the Towers to stay for a day or two. Lady Harriet said it would be kind to Lady Cumnor to come and keep her company in the secluded life she was still forced to lead, and Mrs. Gibson felt flattered and pleased with a vague sense of being genuinely wanted, not just convincing herself of a comforting illusion. Lady Cumnor was recovering, a phase many patients go through. The spark of life had started to flow again, bringing back old desires and plans that had faded into indifference during the worst part of her illness. However, her physical strength was still too weak to keep up with her strong and determined mind, which often made her quite irritable. Mrs. Gibson herself wasn’t strong enough to be a "souffre-douleur," and overall, her visit to the Towers turned out to be less enjoyable than she had expected. Lady Cuxhaven and Lady Harriet, both aware of their mother’s health and mood, only hinted at it as little as necessary during their conversations and made sure not to leave "Clare" alone with Lady Cumnor for too long. But a few times, when one of them returned to relieve the other, they found Clare in tears, while Lady Cumnor passionately discussed a topic she had pondered during her silent hours of illness, believing herself destined to set the world right. Mrs. Gibson tended to take these comments personally, defending her own perceived faults with a sense of ownership, whatever they might be. On the second and final day of her stay at the Towers, Lady Harriet walked in to find her mother speaking animatedly and Clare looking submissive, miserable, and oppressed.
"What's the matter, dear mamma? Are not you tiring yourself with talking?"
"What's wrong, dear mom? Aren't you getting tired from talking?"
"No, not at all! I was only speaking of the folly of people dressing above their station. I began by telling Clare of the fashions of my grandmother's days, when every class had a sort of costume of its own,—and servants did not ape tradespeople, nor tradespeople professional men, and so on,—and what must the foolish woman do but begin to justify her own dress, as if I had been accusing her, or even thinking about her at all. Such nonsense! Really, Clare, your husband has spoilt you sadly, if you can't listen to any one without thinking they are alluding to you. People may flatter themselves just as much by thinking that their faults are always present to other people's minds, as if they believe that the world is always contemplating their individual charms and virtues."
"No, not at all! I was just talking about the foolishness of people dressing above their means. I started by telling Clare about the styles from my grandmother's time, when each social class had its own kind of outfit—servants didn't imitate tradespeople, nor did tradespeople try to look like professionals, and so on—and what does the silly woman do but start justifying her own outfit, as if I had been accusing her or even thinking about her at all. Such nonsense! Honestly, Clare, your husband has spoiled you badly if you can’t listen to anyone without thinking they’re talking about you. People can flatter themselves just as much by believing that their faults are always on other people’s minds as if they think the world is constantly admiring their individual charms and virtues."
"I was told, Lady Cumnor, that this silk was reduced in price. I bought it at Waterloo House after the season was over," said Mrs. Gibson, touching the very handsome gown she wore in deprecation of Lady Cumnor's angry voice, and blundering on to the very source of irritation.
"I was told, Lady Cumnor, that this silk was on sale. I bought it at Waterloo House after the season ended," said Mrs. Gibson, lightly brushing the beautiful gown she wore in response to Lady Cumnor's irritated tone, inadvertently getting to the root of the annoyance.
"Again, Clare! How often must I tell you I had no thought of you or your gowns, or whether they cost much or little; your husband has to pay for them, and it is his concern if you spend more on your dress than you ought to do."
"Again, Clare! How many times do I have to tell you that I never thought about you or your dresses, or whether they cost a lot or a little; your husband is the one who has to pay for them, and it's his concern if you spend more on your clothes than you should."
"It was only five guineas for the whole dress," pleaded Mrs. Gibson.
"It was only five guineas for the entire dress," Mrs. Gibson insisted.
"And very pretty it is," said Lady Harriet, stooping to examine it, and so hoping to soothe the poor aggrieved woman. But Lady Cumnor went on,—
"And it’s really beautiful," said Lady Harriet, leaning down to look at it, hoping to comfort the upset woman. But Lady Cumnor continued on,—
"No! you ought to have known me better by this time. When I think a thing I say it out. I don't beat about the bush. I use straightforward language. I will tell you where I think you have been in fault, Clare, if you like to know." Like it or not, the plain-speaking was coming now. "You have spoilt that girl of yours till she does not know her own mind. She has behaved abominably to Mr. Preston; and it is all in consequence of the faults in her education. You have much to answer for."
"No! You should know me better by now. When I think something, I say it outright. I don't sugarcoat things. I speak plainly. I’ll tell you where I think you’ve gone wrong, Clare, if you want to hear it." Like it or not, the honesty was happening now. "You’ve spoiled that girl of yours to the point where she doesn’t even know what she wants. She’s treated Mr. Preston terribly, and it’s all due to the mistakes in her upbringing. You have a lot to answer for."
"Mamma, mamma!" said Lady Harriet, "Mr. Preston did not wish it spoken about." And at the same moment Mrs. Gibson exclaimed, "Cynthia—Mr. Preston!" in such a tone of surprise, that if Lady Cumnor had been in the habit of observing the revelations made by other people's tones and voices, she would have found out that Mrs. Gibson was ignorant of the affair to which she was alluding.
"Mom, Mom!" said Lady Harriet, "Mr. Preston didn't want it discussed." And at the same moment, Mrs. Gibson exclaimed, "Cynthia—Mr. Preston!" in such a surprised tone that if Lady Cumnor had been in the habit of picking up on the hints expressed by other people's tones and voices, she would have realized that Mrs. Gibson was unaware of the situation she was referring to.
"As for Mr. Preston's wishes, I do not suppose I am bound to regard them when I feel it my duty to reprove error," said Lady Cumnor loftily to Lady Harriet. "And, Clare, do you mean to say that you are not aware that your daughter has been engaged to Mr. Preston for some time—years, I believe,—and has at last chosen to break it off,—and has used the Gibson girl—I forget her name—as a cat's-paw, and made both her and herself the town's talk—the butt for all the gossip of Hollingford? I remember when I was young there was a girl called Jilting Jessy. You'll have to watch over your young lady, or she will get some such name. I speak to you like a friend, Clare, when I tell you it's my opinion that girl of yours will get herself into some more mischief yet before she's safely married. Not that I care one straw for Mr. Preston's feelings. I don't even know if he's got feelings or not; but I know what is becoming in a young woman, and jilting is not. And now you may both go away, and send Bradley to me, for I'm tired, and want to have a little sleep."
"As for Mr. Preston's wishes, I don’t think I have to consider them when I feel it's my duty to call out mistakes," Lady Cumnor said haughtily to Lady Harriet. "And Clare, are you really not aware that your daughter has been engaged to Mr. Preston for quite some time—years, I believe—and has finally decided to end it? She’s used the Gibson girl—I can’t remember her name—as a pawn and turned both of them into the town's gossip—the subject of all the chatter in Hollingford. I remember when I was young, there was a girl called Jilting Jessy. You’ll need to keep an eye on your daughter, or she’ll end up with a name like that. I’m speaking to you as a friend, Clare, when I say that I think your girl will get herself into more trouble before she’s safely married. Not that I care at all about Mr. Preston’s feelings. I don’t even know if he has any; but I know what’s appropriate for a young woman, and jilting is not it. Now you both can go and send Bradley to me, as I’m tired and would like to get some sleep."
"Indeed, Lady Cumnor—will you believe me?—I do not think Cynthia was ever engaged to Mr. Preston. There was an old flirtation. I was afraid—"
"Honestly, Lady Cumnor—do you believe me?—I really don’t think Cynthia was ever involved with Mr. Preston. There was an old flirtation. I was concerned—"
"Ring the bell for Bradley," said Lady Cumnor, wearily: her eyes closed. Lady Harriet had too much experience of her mother's moods not to lead Mrs. Gibson away almost by main force, she protesting all the while that she did not think there was any truth in the statement, though it was dear Lady Cumnor that said it.
"Ring the bell for Bradley," Lady Cumnor said tiredly, her eyes closed. Lady Harriet was too familiar with her mother's moods not to practically drag Mrs. Gibson away, even as she protested the whole time that she didn't believe there was any truth to what was said, even if it was dear Lady Cumnor who said it.
Once in her own room, Lady Harriet said, "Now, Clare, I'll tell you all about it; and I think you'll have to believe it, for it was Mr. Preston himself who told me. I heard of a great commotion in Hollingford about Mr. Preston; and I met him riding out, and asked him what it was all about; he didn't want to speak about it, evidently. No man does, I suppose, when he's been jilted; and he made both papa and me promise not to tell; but papa did—and that's what mamma has for a foundation; you see, a really good one."
Once she was in her own room, Lady Harriet said, "Now, Clare, I'll fill you in on everything; and I think you'll have to believe me, because it was Mr. Preston himself who told me. I heard there was a lot of fuss in Hollingford about Mr. Preston, so I ran into him while he was out riding and asked what was going on; he clearly didn’t want to talk about it. I guess no man does when he's been dumped; and he made both my dad and me promise not to say anything, but my dad did—and that's what mom has as her basis; you see, it’s a pretty solid one."
"But Cynthia is engaged to another man—she really is. And another—a very good match indeed—has just been offering to her in London. Mr. Preston is always at the root of mischief."
"But Cynthia is engaged to someone else—she really is. And there’s another—a very good match, actually—who has just proposed to her in London. Mr. Preston is always the source of trouble."
"Nay! I do think in this case it must be that pretty Miss Cynthia of yours who has drawn on one man to be engaged to her,—not to say two,—and another to make her an offer. I can't endure Mr. Preston, but I think it's rather hard to accuse him of having called up the rivals, who are, I suppose, the occasion of his being jilted."
"Nah! I really think in this case it's your lovely Miss Cynthia who's got one guy engaged to her—not to mention two others—and another one making her an offer. I can't stand Mr. Preston, but I think it's pretty unfair to blame him for bringing out the rivals, who I guess are the reason he's being dumped."
"I don't know; I always feel as if he owed me a grudge, and men have so many ways of being spiteful. You must acknowledge that if he had not met you I should not have had dear Lady Cumnor so angry with me."
"I don't know; I always feel like he held a grudge against me, and guys have so many ways of being spiteful. You have to admit that if he hadn’t met you, Lady Cumnor wouldn’t be so angry with me."
"She only wanted to warn you about Cynthia. Mamma has always been very particular about her own daughters. She has been very severe on the least approach to flirting, and Mary will be like her!"
"She just wanted to give you a heads up about Cynthia. Mom has always been pretty strict with her own daughters. She's been really tough on even the slightest hint of flirting, and Mary will be the same way!"
"But Cynthia will flirt, and I can't help it. She is not noisy, or giggling; she is always a lady—that everybody must own. But she has a way of attracting men, she must have inherited from me, I think." And here she smiled faintly, and would not have rejected a confirmatory compliment, but none came. "However, I will speak to her; I will get to the bottom of the whole affair. Pray tell Lady Cumnor that it has so fluttered me the way she spoke, about my dress and all. And it only cost five guineas after all, reduced from eight!"
"But Cynthia flirts, and I can't help it. She's not loud or giggly; she's always a lady—that's something everyone has to admit. But she has a way of attracting men that I think she must have inherited from me." And here she smiled faintly, hoping for a compliment in return, but none came. "Anyway, I'll talk to her; I will figure out what's going on. Please tell Lady Cumnor that her comments about my dress really flustered me. And it only cost five guineas anyway, down from eight!"
"Well, never mind now. You are looking very much flushed; quite feverish! I left you too long in mamma's hot room. But do you know she is so much pleased to have you here?" And so Lady Cumnor really was, in spite of the continual lectures which she gave "Clare," and which poor Mrs. Gibson turned under as helplessly as the typical worm. Still it was something to have a countess to scold her; and that pleasure would endure when the worry was past. And then Lady Harriet petted her more than usual to make up for what she had to go through in the convalescent's room; and Lady Cuxhaven talked sense to her, with dashes of science and deep thought intermixed, which was very flattering, although generally unintelligible; and Lord Cumnor, good-natured, good-tempered, kind, and liberal, was full of gratitude to her for her kindness in coming to see Lady Cumnor, and his gratitude took the tangible shape of a haunch of venison, to say nothing of lesser game. When she looked back upon her visit, as she drove home in the solitary grandeur of the Towers' carriage, there had been but one great enduring rub—Lady Cumnor's crossness—and she chose to consider Cynthia as the cause of that, instead of seeing the truth, which had been so often set before her by the members of her ladyship's family, that it took its origin in her state of health. Mrs. Gibson did not exactly mean to visit this one discomfort upon Cynthia, nor did she quite mean to upbraid her daughter for conduct as yet unexplained, and which might have some justification; but, finding her quietly sitting in the drawing-room, she sate down despondingly in her own little easy chair, and in reply to Cynthia's quick pleasant greeting of—
"Well, never mind that now. You look really flushed; a bit feverish! I left you too long in Mom's hot room. But did you know she's really happy to have you here?" And she genuinely was, despite the constant lectures she gave "Clare," which poor Mrs. Gibson took in as helplessly as a typical worm. Still, it was something to have a countess scold her; that pleasure would last even after the stress passed. Then Lady Harriet doted on her more than usual to make up for what she had to endure in the convalescent’s room; and Lady Cuxhaven shared some sensible advice mixed with touches of science and deep thoughts, which felt very flattering, even if it was usually hard to understand; and Lord Cumnor, who was kind, good-natured, and generous, was very grateful to her for coming to see Lady Cumnor. His gratitude came in the form of a haunch of venison, not to mention lesser game. As she reflected on her visit while driving home in the lavish solitude of the Towers' carriage, there had only been one major ongoing issue—Lady Cumnor's irritation—and she chose to blame Cynthia for that instead of recognizing the truth, which had been pointed out to her time and again by the members of Lady Cumnor's family: that it stemmed from her health. Mrs. Gibson didn't really intend to direct this one annoyance at Cynthia, nor did she genuinely mean to scold her daughter for behavior that was still unclear and might have some justification; but when she found her quietly sitting in the drawing room, she despondently took her place in her little easy chair, and in response to Cynthia’s quick, cheerful greeting—
"Well, mamma, how are you? We didn't expect you so early! Let me take off your bonnet and shawl!" she replied dolefully,—
"Well, Mom, how are you? We didn't expect you to be here so soon! Let me help you take off your hat and shawl!" she replied unfortunately,—
"It has not been such a happy visit that I should wish to prolong it." Her eyes were fixed on the carpet, and her face was as irresponsive to the welcome offered as she could make it.
"It hasn't been such a great visit that I’d want to extend it." Her eyes were focused on the carpet, and her face was as unresponsive to the welcome given as she could manage.
"What has been the matter?" asked Cynthia, in all good faith.
"What’s wrong?" asked Cynthia, genuinely concerned.
"You! Cynthia—you! I little thought when you were born how I should have to bear to hear you spoken about."
"You! Cynthia—you! I never imagined when you were born how difficult it would be for me to hear people talk about you."
Cynthia threw back her head, and angry light came into her eyes.
Cynthia tilted her head back, and anger flickered in her eyes.
"What business have they with me? How came they to talk about me in any way?"
"What do they want with me? How did they end up talking about me at all?"
"Everybody is talking about you; it is no wonder they are. Lord Cumnor is sure to hear about everything always. You should take more care about what you do, Cynthia, if you don't like being talked about."
"Everyone is talking about you, and it's no surprise. Lord Cumnor always hears about everything. You should be more careful about what you do, Cynthia, if you don't want to be the topic of conversation."
"It rather depends upon what people say," said Cynthia, affecting a lightness which she did not feel; for she had a prevision of what was coming.
"It really depends on what people say," Cynthia said, trying to sound casual, though she didn't feel that way at all; she had a sense of what was about to happen.
"Well! I don't like it, at any rate. It is not pleasant to me to hear first of my daughter's misdoings from Lady Cumnor, and then to be lectured about her, and her flirting, and her jilting, as if I had had anything to do with it. I can assure you it has quite spoilt my visit. No! don't touch my shawl. When I go to my room I can take it myself."
"Well! I don’t like it, not at all. It’s not pleasant for me to hear about my daughter’s mistakes from Lady Cumnor, and then get lectured about her flirting and breaking hearts, as if I had anything to do with it. I can assure you it has completely ruined my visit. No! Don’t touch my shawl. I can take it myself when I go to my room."
Cynthia was brought to bay, and sate down; remaining with her mother, who kept sighing ostentatiously from time to time.
Cynthia was cornered and sat down, staying with her mother, who kept sighing dramatically from time to time.
"Would you mind telling me what they said? If there are accusations abroad against me, it is as well I should know what they are. Here's Molly" (as the girl entered the room, fresh from a morning's walk). "Molly, mamma has come back from the Towers, and my lord and my lady have been doing me the honour to talk over my crimes and misdemeanors, and I am asking mamma what they have said. I don't set up for more virtue than other people, but I can't make out what an earl and a countess have to do with poor little me."
"Can you tell me what they said? If there are accusations out there against me, I should know what they are. Here’s Molly." (As the girl entered the room, fresh from a morning walk.) "Molly, Mom has returned from the Towers, and my lord and lady have been gracious enough to discuss my alleged crimes and misdemeanors, and I’m asking Mom what they said. I'm not claiming to be more virtuous than anyone else, but I don’t understand what an earl and a countess have to do with me."
"It was not for your sake!" said Mrs. Gibson. "It was for mine. They felt for me, for it is not pleasant to have one's child's name in everybody's mouth."
"It wasn't for your benefit!" said Mrs. Gibson. "It was for me. They cared about me, because it's not nice to have your child's name on everyone’s lips."
"As I said before, that depends upon how it is in everybody's mouth. If I were going to marry Lord Hollingford, I make no doubt every one would be talking about me, and neither you nor I should mind it in the least."
"As I mentioned earlier, that depends on what everyone is saying. If I were going to marry Lord Hollingford, I’m sure everyone would be talking about me, and neither you nor I would care at all."
"But this is no marriage with Lord Hollingford, so it is nonsense to talk as if it was. They say you've gone and engaged yourself to Mr. Preston, and now refuse to marry him; and they call that jilting."
"But this isn't a marriage with Lord Hollingford, so it's ridiculous to act like it is. They say you've gone and gotten engaged to Mr. Preston, and now you refuse to marry him; and they call that jilting."
"Do you wish me to marry him, mamma?" asked Cynthia, her face in a flame, her eyes cast down. Molly stood by, very hot, not fully understanding it; and only kept where she was by the hope of coming in as sweetener or peacemaker, or helper of some kind.
"Do you want me to marry him, mom?" asked Cynthia, her face burning, her eyes looking down. Molly stood nearby, feeling very awkward, not completely grasping the situation; she stayed where she was hoping to be a calming influence or a peacemaker or some kind of help.
"No," said Mrs. Gibson, evidently discomfited by the question. "Of course I don't; you have gone and entangled yourself with Roger Hamley, a very worthy young man; but nobody knows where he is, and if he's dead or alive; and he has not a penny if he is alive."
"No," Mrs. Gibson said, clearly uncomfortable with the question. "Of course I don't; you've gotten yourself involved with Roger Hamley, a very good young man; but nobody knows where he is, or if he's even alive; and if he is alive, he doesn't have a penny."
"I beg your pardon. I know that he has some fortune from his mother; it may not be much, but he is not penniless; and he is sure to earn fame and great reputation, and with it money will come," said Cynthia.
"I’m sorry. I know he has some money from his mom; it might not be a lot, but he’s not broke; and he’s definitely going to earn fame and a great reputation, and with that, money will follow," said Cynthia.
"You've entangled yourself with him, and you've done something of the sort with Mr. Preston, and got yourself into such an imbroglio" (Mrs. Gibson could not have said "mess" for the world, although the word was present to her mind), "that when a really eligible person comes forward—handsome, agreeable, and quite the gentleman—and a good private fortune into the bargain, you have to refuse him. You'll end as an old maid, Cynthia, and it will break my heart."
"You've gotten mixed up with him, and you've done something similar with Mr. Preston, landing yourself in such a complicated situation" (Mrs. Gibson couldn't bring herself to say "mess," even though the word crossed her mind), "that when a truly suitable guy shows up—handsome, charming, and definitely a gentleman—and has a decent private fortune to boot, you have to turn him down. You're going to end up as an old maid, Cynthia, and it's going to break my heart."
"I daresay I shall," said Cynthia, quietly. "I sometimes think I'm the kind of person of which old maids are made!" She spoke seriously, and a little sadly.
"I dare say I will," said Cynthia quietly. "Sometimes I feel like I'm the kind of person who becomes an old maid!" She spoke seriously and a bit sadly.
Mrs. Gibson began again. "I don't want to know your secrets as long as they are secrets; but when all the town is talking about you, I think I ought to be told."
Mrs. Gibson started again. "I don’t want to know your secrets while they’re still secrets, but when the whole town is talking about you, I think I deserve to know."
"But, mamma, I didn't know I was such a subject of conversation; and even now I can't make out how it has come about."
"But, Mom, I didn't know I was such a topic of conversation; and even now I can't figure out how this happened."
"No more can I. I only know that they say you've been engaged to Mr. Preston, and ought to have married him, and that I can't help it, if you did not choose, any more than I could have helped your refusing Mr. Henderson; and yet I am constantly blamed for your misconduct. I think it's very hard." Mrs. Gibson began to cry. Just then her husband came in.
"No more can I. All I know is that people say you were supposed to marry Mr. Preston, and if you didn’t want to, that’s not my fault, just like it wasn’t my fault that you turned down Mr. Henderson; and yet I keep getting blamed for your choices. I think it’s really unfair." Mrs. Gibson started to cry. Just then her husband walked in.
"You here, my dear! Welcome back," said he, coming up to her courteously, and kissing her cheek. "Why, what's the matter? Tears?" and he heartily wished himself away again.
"You here, my dear! Welcome back," he said, approaching her politely and kissing her cheek. "What’s wrong? Tears?" and he genuinely wished he could disappear again.
"Yes!" said she, raising herself up, and clutching after sympathy of any kind, at any price. "I'm come home again, and I'm telling Cynthia how Lady Cumnor has been so cross to me, and all through her. Did you know she had gone and engaged herself to Mr. Preston, and then broken it off? Everybody is talking about it, and they know it up at the Towers."
"Yes!" she said, sitting up and reaching out for some kind of sympathy, no matter the cost. "I've come home again, and I'm telling Cynthia how Lady Cumnor has been so mean to me, and all because of her. Did you know she got engaged to Mr. Preston and then broke it off? Everyone's talking about it, and they all know it up at the Towers."
For one moment his eyes met Molly's, and he comprehended it all. He made his lips up into a whistle, but no sound came. Cynthia had quite lost her defiant manner since her mother had spoken to Mr. Gibson. Molly sate down by her.
For a brief moment, his eyes locked with Molly's, and he understood everything. He shaped his lips into a whistle, but no sound came out. Cynthia had completely lost her defiant attitude since her mother had talked to Mr. Gibson. Molly sat down next to her.
"Cynthia," said he, very seriously.
"Cynthia," he said, very seriously.
"Yes!" she answered, softly.
"Yes!" she replied softly.
"Is this true? I had heard something of it before—not much; but there is scandal enough about to make it desirable that you should have some protector—some friend who knows the whole truth."
"Is this true? I had heard a bit about it before—not much; but there’s enough gossip going around to make it important for you to have some support—someone who knows the whole story."
No answer. At last she said, "Molly knows it all."
No answer. Finally, she said, "Molly knows everything."
Mrs. Gibson, too, had been awed into silence by her husband's grave manner, and she did not like to give vent to the jealous thought in her mind that Molly had known the secret of which she was ignorant. Mr. Gibson replied to Cynthia with some sternness:
Mrs. Gibson was also struck silent by her husband's serious demeanor, and she didn't want to express the jealous thought that Molly was aware of a secret she didn't know. Mr. Gibson responded to Cynthia with some seriousness:
"Yes! I know that Molly knows it all, and that she has had to bear slander and ill words for your sake, Cynthia. But she refused to tell me more."
"Yes! I know that Molly knows everything, and that she's had to endure gossip and harsh words for your sake, Cynthia. But she wouldn't tell me more."
"She told you that much, did she?" said Cynthia, aggrieved.
"She told you all that, huh?" said Cynthia, annoyed.
"I could not help it," said Molly.
"I couldn't help it," Molly said.
"She didn't name your name," said Mr. Gibson. "At the time I believe she thought she had concealed it—but there was no mistaking who it was."
"She didn't say your name," Mr. Gibson said. "At the time, I think she thought she had hidden it—but there was no doubt about who it was."
"Why did she speak about it at all?" said Cynthia, with some bitterness. Her tone—her question stirred up Mr. Gibson's passion.
"Why did she even bring it up?" Cynthia said, a bit bitterly. Her tone—her question ignited Mr. Gibson's passion.
"It was necessary for her to justify herself to me—I heard my daughter's reputation attacked for the private meetings she had given to Mr. Preston—I came to her for an explanation. There's no need to be ungenerous, Cynthia, because you've been a flirt and a jilt, even to the degree of dragging Molly's name down into the same mire."
"It was essential for her to explain herself to me—I heard my daughter’s reputation being criticized for the private meetings she had with Mr. Preston—I approached her for clarification. There’s no need to be harsh, Cynthia, just because you’ve been a flirt and let people down, even to the point of pulling Molly’s name into the same mess."
Cynthia lifted her bowed-down head, and looked at him.
Cynthia raised her head and looked at him.
"You say that of me, Mr. Gibson? Not knowing what the circumstances are, you say that?"
"You really think that about me, Mr. Gibson? Without knowing the situation, you say that?"
He had spoken too strongly: he knew it. But he could not bring himself to own it just at that moment. The thought of his sweet innocent Molly, who had borne so much patiently, prevented any retractation of his words at the time.
He had spoken too harshly: he knew it. But he couldn't admit it just then. The thought of his sweet, innocent Molly, who had endured so much, stopped him from taking back his words at that moment.
"Yes!" he said, "I do say it. You cannot tell what evil constructions are put upon actions ever so slightly beyond the bounds of maidenly propriety. I do say that Molly has had a great deal to bear, in consequence of this clandestine engagement of yours, Cynthia—there may be extenuating circumstances, I acknowledge—but you will need to remember them all to excuse your conduct to Roger Hamley, when he comes home. I asked you to tell me the full truth, in order that until he comes, and has a legal right to protect you, I may do so." No answer. "It certainly requires explanation," continued he. "Here are you,—engaged to two men at once to all appearances!" Still no answer. "To be sure, the gossips of the town haven't yet picked out the fact of Roger Hamley's being your accepted lover; but scandal has been resting on Molly, and ought to have rested on you, Cynthia—for a concealed engagement to Mr. Preston—necessitating meetings in all sorts of places unknown to your friends."
"Yes!" he said. "I do mean it. You can't imagine the negative assumptions people make about actions that are just a bit beyond what’s considered proper for young women. I believe Molly has had to deal with a lot because of this secret relationship of yours, Cynthia—there might be some reasons to soften that claim, I admit—but you’ll have to keep all of them in mind to justify your actions to Roger Hamley when he gets back. I wanted you to tell me the whole truth so that until he returns and has the right to protect you, I can take that on myself." No response. "This definitely needs an explanation," he continued. "Here you are—apparently engaged to two men at once!" Still no answer. "Of course, the town gossip hasn't yet figured out that Roger Hamley is your accepted suitor, but scandal has been hanging over Molly, and it should have been on you too, Cynthia—for having a secret engagement with Mr. Preston—which has involved meetings in all sorts of places hidden from your friends."
"Papa," said Molly, "if you knew all you wouldn't speak so to Cynthia. I wish she would tell you herself all that she has told me."
"Papa," Molly said, "if you knew everything, you wouldn't talk to Cynthia like that. I wish she would just tell you herself everything she's told me."
"I am ready to hear whatever she has to say," said he. But Cynthia said,—
"I’m ready to hear whatever she has to say," he said. But Cynthia said,—
"No! you have prejudged me; you have spoken to me as you had no right to speak. I refuse to give you my confidence, or accept your help. People are very cruel to me"—her voice trembled for a moment—"I did not think you would have been. But I can bear it."
"No! You’ve already judged me; you’ve talked to me in a way you had no right to. I won’t trust you or accept your help. People are really cruel to me"—her voice shook for a moment—"I didn’t expect you to be. But I can handle it."
And then, in spite of Molly, who would have detained her by force, she tore herself away, and hastily left the room.
And then, despite Molly, who would have held her back by force, she broke free and quickly left the room.
"Oh, papa!" said Molly, crying, and clinging to him, "do let me tell you all." And then she suddenly recollected the awkwardness of telling some of the details of the story before Mrs. Gibson, and stopped short.
"Oh, Dad!" said Molly, crying and holding onto him, "let me tell you everything." Then she suddenly remembered how awkward it would be to share some parts of the story in front of Mrs. Gibson and stopped abruptly.
"I think, Mr. Gibson, you have been very very unkind to my poor fatherless child," said Mrs. Gibson, emerging from behind her pocket-handkerchief. "I only wish her poor father had been alive, and all this would never have happened."
"I think, Mr. Gibson, you’ve been really unkind to my poor fatherless child," said Mrs. Gibson, coming out from behind her tissue. "I just wish her poor father had been alive; then none of this would have happened."
"Very probably. Still I cannot see of what either she or you have to complain. Inasmuch as we could, I and mine have sheltered her! I have loved her; I do love her almost as if she were my own child—as well as Molly, I do not pretend to do."
"Most likely. Still, I can't understand what either she or you have to complain about. As much as we could, my family and I have taken her in! I have loved her; I do love her almost as if she were my own child—just like Molly, I don't pretend otherwise."
"That's it, Mr. Gibson! you do not treat her like your own child." But in the midst of this wrangle Molly stole out, and went in search of Cynthia. She thought she bore an olive-branch of healing in the sound of her father's just spoken words: "I do love her almost as if she were my own child." But Cynthia was locked into her room, and refused to open the door.
"That's enough, Mr. Gibson! You don't treat her like your own child." But in the middle of this argument, Molly quietly slipped out to find Cynthia. She believed she carried a message of reconciliation in her father's recently spoken words: "I do love her almost as if she were my own child." However, Cynthia was locked in her room and refused to open the door.
"Open to me, please," pleaded Molly. "I have something to say to you—I want to see you—do open!"
"Please open the door for me," Molly begged. "I have something to tell you—I want to see you—please open up!"
"No!" said Cynthia. "Not now. I am busy. Leave me alone. I don't want to hear what you have got to say. I don't want to see you. By-and-by we shall meet, and then—" Molly stood quite quietly, wondering what new words of more persuasion she could use. In a minute or two Cynthia called out, "Are you there still, Molly?" and when Molly answered "Yes," and hoped for a relenting, the same hard metallic voice, telling of resolution and repression, spoke out, "Go away. I cannot bear the feeling of your being there—waiting and listening. Go downstairs—out of the house—anywhere away. It is the most you can do for me now."
"No!" Cynthia exclaimed. "Not now. I'm busy. Just leave me alone. I don’t want to hear what you have to say. I don’t want to see you. We'll meet again later, and then—" Molly stood quietly, wondering what other persuasive words she could use. After a minute or two, Cynthia called out, "Are you still there, Molly?" When Molly replied "Yes," hoping for a change of heart, Cynthia's same hard, metallic voice, revealing her determination and restraint, said, "Go away. I can't stand the feeling of you being there—waiting and listening. Go downstairs—out of the house—anywhere away. It’s the best you can do for me right now."
CHAPTER LI.
"TROUBLES NEVER COME ALONE."
olly had her
out-of-door things on, and she crept away as she was
bidden. She lifted her heavy weight of heart and body along till she
came to a field, not so very far off,—where she had sought the
comfort of loneliness ever since she was a child; and there, under
the hedge-bank, she sate down, burying her face in her hands, and
quivering all over as she thought of Cynthia's misery, which she
might not try to touch or assuage. She never knew how long she sate
there, but it was long past lunch-time when once again she stole up
to her room. The door opposite was open wide,—Cynthia had quitted
the chamber. Molly arranged her dress and went down into the
drawing-room. Cynthia and her mother sate there in the stern repose
of an armed neutrality. Cynthia's face looked made of stone, for
colour and rigidity; but she was netting away as if nothing unusual
had occurred. Not so Mrs. Gibson; her face bore evident marks of
tears, and she looked up and greeted Molly's entrance with a faint
smiling notice. Cynthia went on as though she had never heard the
opening of the door, or felt the approaching sweep of Molly's dress.
Molly took up a book,—not to read, but to have the semblance of some
employment which should not necessitate conversation.
Molly was dressed for outside and crept away as she had been told. She carried her heavy heart and body until she reached a field not too far away, where she had sought comfort in solitude since she was a child. There, under the hedge, she sat down, burying her face in her hands, trembling as she thought about Cynthia's pain, which she felt she couldn’t help ease. She didn't know how long she sat there, but it was well past lunch when she quietly went back to her room. The door across the way was wide open—Cynthia had left the room. Molly straightened her dress and went down to the drawing room. Cynthia and her mother sat there in a tense silence, like two opponents in a standoff. Cynthia's face looked like stone, both expressionless and rigid, but she was still working on her netting as if nothing was wrong. Mrs. Gibson, on the other hand, had been crying; her face showed clear signs of tears, and she looked up to greet Molly with a faint smile. Cynthia carried on as though she hadn’t noticed the door opening or felt the sweep of Molly's dress. Molly picked up a book—not to read, but to give the impression of being busy and avoid having to talk.
There was no measuring the duration of the silence that ensued. Molly grew to fancy it was some old enchantment that weighed upon their tongues and kept them still. At length Cynthia spoke, but she had to begin again before her words came clear.
There was no way to gauge how long the silence lasted. Molly started to think it was some old magic that pressed down on their tongues and kept them quiet. Eventually, Cynthia spoke up, but she had to start over before her words finally made sense.
"I wish you both to know that henceforward all is at an end between me and Roger Hamley."
"I want you both to know that from now on, it's all over between me and Roger Hamley."
Molly's book went down upon her knees; with open eyes and lips she strove to draw in Cynthia's meaning. Mrs. Gibson spoke querulously, as if injured,—
Molly dropped the book to her knees; with her eyes and lips wide open, she tried to understand what Cynthia meant. Mrs. Gibson spoke in a complaining tone, as if hurt,
"I could have understood this if it had happened three months ago,—when you were in London; but now it's just nonsense, Cynthia, and you know you don't mean it!"
"I could have gotten this if it had happened three months ago—when you were in London; but now it's just ridiculous, Cynthia, and you know you don't really mean it!"
Cynthia did not reply; nor did the resolute look on her face change when Molly spoke at last,—
Cynthia didn't respond, and the determined expression on her face didn’t change when Molly finally spoke,—
"Cynthia—think of him! It will break his heart!"
"Cynthia—think about him! It will break his heart!"
"No!" said Cynthia, "it will not. But even if it did I cannot help it."
"No!" Cynthia said, "it won't. But even if it did, I can't do anything about it."
"All this talk will soon pass away!" said Molly; "and when he knows the truth from your own self—"
"All this talk will soon fade away!" said Molly; "and when he hears the truth from you—"
"From my own self he shall never hear it. I do not love him well enough to go through the shame of having to excuse myself,—to plead that he will reinstate me in his good opinion. Confession may be—well! I can never believe it pleasant—but it may be an ease of mind if one makes it to some people,—to some person,—and it may not be a mortification to sue for forgiveness. I cannot tell. All I know is,—and I know it clearly, and will act upon it inflexibly—that—" And here she stopped short.
"From myself, he'll never hear it. I don’t care for him enough to endure the embarrassment of having to explain myself—to ask him to restore his good opinion of me. Confession might be—well! I can’t ever believe it’s pleasant—but it might bring peace of mind if made to someone—anyone—and it might not be humiliating to ask for forgiveness. I can't say. All I know is—and I know this clearly, and I’ll stick to it without wavering—that—" And here she stopped short.
"I think you might finish your sentence," said her mother, after a silence of five seconds.
"I think you could finish your sentence," her mother said after a five-second pause.
"I cannot bear to exculpate myself to Roger Hamley. I will not submit to his thinking less well of me than he has done,—however foolish his judgment may have been. I would rather never see him again, for these two reasons. And the truth is, I do not love him. I like him, I respect him; but I will not marry him. I have written to tell him so. That was merely as a relief to myself, for when or where the letter will reach him— And I have written to old Mr. Hamley. The relief is the one good thing come out of it all. It is such a comfort to feel free again. It wearied me so to think of straining up to his goodness. 'Extenuate my conduct!'" she concluded, quoting Mr. Gibson's words. Yet when Mr. Gibson came home, after a silent dinner, she asked to speak with him, alone, in his consulting-room; and there laid bare the exculpation of herself which she had given to Molly many weeks before. When she had ended, she said:
"I can't stand trying to explain myself to Roger Hamley. I won't let him think any less of me than he already does, no matter how ridiculous his opinion may be. I'd rather not see him again for these two reasons. Honestly, I don't love him. I like him, I respect him, but I won’t marry him. I've written to tell him that. It was just to relieve myself, because I have no idea when or where the letter will reach him— And I've also written to old Mr. Hamley. Finding relief is the only good thing that has come out of this. It feels so comforting to be free again. It exhausted me to think about trying to live up to his goodness. 'Make excuses for my behavior!'" she finished, quoting Mr. Gibson's words. But when Mr. Gibson came home, after a quiet dinner, she asked to speak with him alone in his consulting room, and there she laid bare the defense of herself that she had shared with Molly weeks ago. When she was done, she said:
"And now, Mr. Gibson,—I still treat you like a friend,—help me to find some home far away, where all the evil talking and gossip mamma tells me of cannot find me and follow me. It may be wrong to care for people's good opinion,—but it is me, and I cannot alter myself. You, Molly,—all the people in the town,—I haven't the patience to live through the nine days' wonder.—I want to go away and be a governess."
"And now, Mr. Gibson—I still see you as a friend—please help me find a home somewhere far away, where all the bad things and gossip my mom warns me about can't reach me. It might be wrong to care about what people think, but that's just who I am, and I can't change that. You, Molly, and everyone else in town—I just can't deal with the chaos that comes with being the center of attention. I want to leave and be a governess."
"But, my dear Cynthia,—how soon Roger will be back,—a tower of strength!"
"But, my dear Cynthia, how soon Roger will be back—a real pillar of support!"
"Has not mamma told you I have broken it all off with Roger? I wrote this morning. I wrote to his father. That letter will reach to-morrow. I wrote to Roger. If he ever receives that letter, I hope to be far away by that time; in Russia may be."
"Hasn't mom told you I've ended things with Roger? I wrote this morning. I wrote to his dad. That letter will arrive tomorrow. I wrote to Roger too. If he ever gets that letter, I hope to be far away by then; maybe in Russia."
"Nonsense. An engagement like yours cannot be broken off, except by mutual consent. You've only given others a great deal of pain without freeing yourself. Nor will you wish it in a month's time. When you come to think calmly, you'll be glad to think of the stay and support of such a husband as Roger. You have been in fault, and have acted foolishly at first,—perhaps wrongly afterwards; but you don't want your husband to think you faultless?"
"Nonsense. An engagement like yours can't be ended unless both sides agree. You've only caused a lot of pain for others without freeing yourself. You won't feel any different in a month. When you think about it calmly, you'll be grateful for the stability and support of a husband like Roger. You've made mistakes and acted foolishly at first—maybe even wrongly afterwards; but do you really want your husband to believe that you’re perfect?"
"Yes, I do," said Cynthia. "At any rate, my lover must think me so. And it is just because I do not love him even as so light a thing as I could love, that I feel that I couldn't bear to have to tell him I'm sorry, and stand before him like a chidden child to be admonished and forgiven."
"Yes, I do," said Cynthia. "Anyway, my partner must think that of me. And it's exactly because I don't love him, not even in the smallest way I could love someone, that I feel I couldn't handle telling him I'm sorry and standing in front of him like a scolded child waiting to be lectured and forgiven."
"But here you are, just in such a position before me, Cynthia!"
"But here you are, right in front of me, Cynthia!"
"Yes! but I love you better than Roger; I've often told Molly so. And I would have told you, if I hadn't expected and hoped to leave you all before long. I could see if the recollection of it all came up before your mind; I could see it in your eyes; I should know it by instinct. I have a fine instinct for reading the thoughts of others when they refer to me. I almost hate the idea of Roger judging me by his own standard, which wasn't made for me, and graciously forgiving me at last."
"Yes! But I love you more than I love Roger; I've told Molly that a lot. And I would have told you too, if I hadn't planned and hoped to leave you all soon. I could see if those memories came back to you; I could see it in your eyes; I would know it by instinct. I have a strong instinct for picking up on what others are thinking when it concerns me. I almost hate the thought of Roger judging me by his own standards, which weren't meant for me, and finally forgiving me."
"Then I do believe it's right for you to break it off," said Mr. Gibson, almost as if he were thinking to himself. "That poor poor lad! But it will be best for him too. And he'll get over it. He has a good strong heart. Poor old Roger!"
"Then I really think it's best for you to end it," Mr. Gibson said, almost as if he were thinking out loud. "That poor guy! But it will be better for him too. He'll move on. He has a good, strong heart. Poor old Roger!"
For a moment Cynthia's wilful fancy stretched after the object passing out of her grasp,—Roger's love became for the instant a treasure; but, again, she knew that in its entirety of high undoubting esteem, as well as of passionate regard, it would no longer be hers; and for the flaw which she herself had made she cast it away, and would none of it. Yet often in after years, when it was too late, she wondered and strove to penetrate the inscrutable mystery of "what would have been."
For a moment, Cynthia's stubborn imagination chased after what was slipping away from her—Roger's love became a treasure for that instant; but she quickly realized that, in all its complete admiration and passionate affection, it would no longer belong to her. Due to the mistake she had made, she pushed it away and rejected it. Still, in the years that followed, when it was too late, she often pondered and tried to understand the mysterious question of "what could have been."
"Still, take till to-morrow before you act upon your decision," said Mr. Gibson, slowly. "What faults you have fallen into have been mere girlish faults at first,—leading you into much deceit, I grant."
"Still, wait until tomorrow before you act on your decision," said Mr. Gibson slowly. "The mistakes you've made have mostly been childish ones at first, which have led you into a lot of deceit, I admit."
"Don't give yourself the trouble to define the shades of blackness," said Cynthia, bitterly. "I'm not so obtuse but what I know them all better than any one can tell me. And as for my decision I acted upon it at once. It may be long before Roger gets my letter,—but I hope he is sure to get it at last,—and, as I said, I have let his father know; it won't hurt him! Oh, sir, I think if I had been differently brought up I shouldn't have had the sore angry heart I have. Now! No, don't! I don't want reasoning comfort. I can't stand it. I should always have wanted admiration and worship, and men's good opinion. Those unkind gossips! To visit Molly with their hard words! Oh, dear! I think life is very dreary."
"Don't waste your time trying to define the different shades of blackness," said Cynthia, bitterly. "I'm not so clueless that I don't know them all better than anyone can explain to me. And as for my decision, I acted on it right away. It might take a while for Roger to get my letter—but I hope he eventually will—and, as I mentioned, I've let his father know; it won't hurt him! Oh, sir, I believe if I had been raised differently, I wouldn't have this hurt and angry heart. Now! No, don't! I don't want any comforting reasoning. I can't handle it. I've always wanted admiration and worship, along with men's good opinions. Those cruel gossips! To visit Molly with their harsh words! Oh, dear! I think life is really gloomy."
She put her head down on her hands; tired out mentally as well as bodily. So Mr. Gibson thought. He felt as if much speech from him would only add to her excitement, and make her worse. He left the room, and called Molly, from where she was sitting, dolefully. "Go to Cynthia!" he whispered, and Molly went. She took Cynthia into her arms with gentle power, and laid her head against her own breast, as if the one had been a mother, and the other a child.
She rested her head on her hands, exhausted both mentally and physically. That's how Mr. Gibson saw it. He thought that saying too much would only get her more worked up and make things worse. He left the room and called for Molly, who was sitting nearby, looking sad. "Go to Cynthia!" he whispered, and Molly complied. She wrapped her arms around Cynthia with a gentle strength and rested her head against her breast, as if one were the mother and the other the child.
"Oh, my darling!" she murmured. "I do so love you, dear, dear Cynthia!" and she stroked her hair, and kissed her eyelids; Cynthia passive all the while, till suddenly she started up stung with a new idea, and looking Molly straight in the face, she said,—
"Oh, my darling!" she whispered. "I really love you, sweet, sweet Cynthia!" and she ran her fingers through her hair and kissed her eyelids; Cynthia stayed still the whole time, until suddenly she jumped up, hit by a new thought, and looked Molly directly in the eyes, and she said,—
"Molly, Roger will marry you! See if it isn't so! You two good—"
"Molly, Roger is going to marry you! Just see if it isn't true! You two good—
But Molly pushed her away with a sudden violence of repulsion. "Don't!" she said. She was crimson with shame and indignation. "Your husband this morning! Mine to-night! What do you take him for?"
But Molly pushed her away with a sudden intensity of disgust. "Don't!" she said. She was bright red with shame and anger. "Your husband this morning! Mine tonight! What do you think he is?"
"A man!" smiled Cynthia. "And therefore, if you won't let me call him changeable, I'll coin a word and call him consolable!" But Molly gave her back no answering smile. At this moment, the servant Maria entered the consulting-room, where the two girls were. She had a scared look.
"A man!" Cynthia smiled. "And so, if you won't let me call him changeable, I'll make up a word and call him consolable!" But Molly didn't smile back. Just then, the servant Maria walked into the consulting room where the two girls were. She looked frightened.
"Isn't master here?" asked she, as if she distrusted her eyes.
"Isn't the master here?" she asked, as if she doubted her own eyes.
"No!" said Cynthia. "I heard him go out. I heard him shut the front door not five minutes ago."
"No!" Cynthia said. "I heard him leave. I heard him close the front door just five minutes ago."
"Oh, dear!" said Maria. "And there's a man come on horseback from Hamley Hall, and he says as Mr. Osborne is dead, and that master must go off to the Squire straight away."
"Oh no!" said Maria. "A man has come on horseback from Hamley Hall, and he says Mr. Osborne is dead, and that the master needs to go to the Squire right away."
"Osborne Hamley dead!" said Cynthia, in awed surprise. Molly was out at the front door, seeking the messenger through the dusk, round into the stable-yard, where the groom sate motionless on his dark horse, flecked with foam, made visible by the lantern placed on the steps near, where it had been left by the servants, who were dismayed at this news of the handsome young man who had frequented their master's house, so full of sportive elegance and winsomeness. Molly went up to the man, whose thoughts were lost in recollection of the scene he had left at the place he had come from.
"Osborne Hamley is dead!" Cynthia said, in shocked disbelief. Molly was outside at the front door, searching for the messenger through the dusk, walking toward the stable yard, where the groom sat still on his dark horse, flecked with foam, illuminated by the lantern left on the steps by the servants, who were taken aback by the news about the handsome young man who often visited their master's house, full of playful charm and attractiveness. Molly approached the man, whose mind was lost in memories of the scene he had left behind.
She laid her hand on the hot damp skin of the horse's shoulder; the man started.
She placed her hand on the warm, moist skin of the horse's shoulder; the man flinched.
"Is the doctor coming, Miss?" For he saw who it was by the dim light.
"Is the doctor coming, Miss?" He recognized her in the dim light.
"He is dead, is he not?" asked Molly, in a low voice.
"He’s dead, isn’t he?" asked Molly quietly.
"I'm afeard he is,—leastways, there's no doubt according to what they said. But I've ridden hard! there may be a chance. Is the doctor coming, Miss?"
"I'm afraid he is—at least, there's no doubt based on what they said. But I've ridden hard! There may be a chance. Is the doctor coming, Miss?"
"He is gone out. They are seeking him, I believe. I will go myself. Oh! the poor old Squire!" She went into the kitchen—went over the house with swift rapidity to gain news of her father's whereabouts. The servants knew no more than she did. Neither she nor they had heard what Cynthia, ever quick of perception, had done. The shutting of the front door had fallen on deaf ears, as far as others were concerned. Upstairs sped Molly to the drawing-room, where Mrs. Gibson stood at the door, listening to the unusual stir in the house.
"He’s gone out. I think they’re looking for him. I’ll go myself. Oh! The poor old Squire!" She rushed into the kitchen and quickly moved through the house to find out where her father was. The servants knew no more than she did. Neither she nor they had heard what Cynthia, always quick to notice, had done. The closing of the front door went unnoticed by everyone else. Molly dashed upstairs to the drawing-room, where Mrs. Gibson stood at the door, listening to the unusual commotion in the house.
"What is it, Molly? Why, how white you look, child!"
"What’s wrong, Molly? You look so pale, sweetheart!"
"Where's papa?"
"Where's Dad?"
"Gone out. What's the matter?"
"Out. What's wrong?"
"Where?"
"Where at?"
"How should I know? I was asleep; Jenny came upstairs on her way to the bedrooms; she's a girl who never keeps to her work and Maria takes advantage of her."
"How am I supposed to know? I was asleep; Jenny came upstairs on her way to the bedrooms; she's the type of girl who never sticks to her tasks, and Maria takes advantage of that."
"Jenny, Jenny!" cried Molly, frantic at the delay.
"Jenny, Jenny!" shouted Molly, panicking over the delay.
"Don't shout, dear,—ring the bell. What can be the matter?"
"Don't yell, sweetheart—just ring the bell. What's going on?"
"Oh, Jenny!" said Molly, half-way up the stairs to meet her, "who wanted papa?"
"Oh, Jenny!" said Molly, halfway up the stairs to meet her, "who wanted Dad?"
Cynthia came to join the group; she too had been looking for traces or tidings of Mr. Gibson.
Cynthia joined the group; she had also been searching for signs or news of Mr. Gibson.
"What is the matter?" said Mrs. Gibson. "Can nobody speak and answer a question?"
"What’s wrong?" said Mrs. Gibson. "Can’t anyone talk and answer a question?"
"Osborne Hamley is dead!" said Cynthia, gravely.
"Osborne Hamley has died!" said Cynthia, seriously.
"Dead! Osborne! Poor fellow! I knew it would be so, though,—I was sure of it. But Mr. Gibson can do nothing if he's dead. Poor young man! I wonder where Roger is now? He ought to come home."
"Dead! Osborne! Poor guy! I knew this would happen, I was sure of it. But Mr. Gibson can't do anything if he's gone. Poor young man! I wonder where Roger is now? He should come home."
Jenny had been blamed for coming into the drawing-room instead of Maria, whose place it was, and so had lost the few wits she had. To Molly's hurried questions her replies had been entirely unsatisfactory. A man had come to the back door—she could not see who it was—she had not asked his name: he wanted to speak to master,—master had seemed in a hurry, and only stopped to get his hat.
Jenny had been blamed for entering the drawing room instead of Maria, who should have been there, and that had driven her a bit crazy. In response to Molly's quick questions, her answers were completely unhelpful. A man had come to the back door—she couldn't tell who it was—she didn't ask his name: he wanted to talk to the master—master seemed to be in a rush and only paused to grab his hat.
"He will not be long away," thought Molly, "or he would have left word where he was going. But oh! the poor father all alone!" And then a thought came into her head, which she acted upon straight. "Go to James, tell him to put the side-saddle I had in November on Nora Creina. Don't cry, Jenny. There's no time for that. No one is angry with you. Run!"
"He won't be gone for long," thought Molly, "or he would have left a note about where he was headed. But oh! the poor father all alone!" Then an idea popped into her head, and she immediately acted on it. "Go to James and tell him to put the side-saddle I used in November on Nora Creina. Don’t cry, Jenny. We don’t have time for that. No one is upset with you. Hurry!"
So down into the cluster of collected women Molly came, equipped in her jacket and skirt; quick determination in her eyes; controlled quivering about the corners of her mouth.
So Molly descended into the group of gathered women, dressed in her jacket and skirt; a determined spark in her eyes; a slight tremble at the corners of her mouth.
"Why, what in the world," said Mrs. Gibson—"Molly, what are you thinking about?" But Cynthia had understood it at a glance, and was arranging Molly's hastily assumed dress, as she passed along.
"Why, what on earth," said Mrs. Gibson—"Molly, what are you thinking about?" But Cynthia got it right away and was adjusting Molly's quickly thrown-on dress as she walked by.
"I am going. I must go. I cannot bear to think of him alone. When papa comes back he is sure to go to Hamley, and if I am not wanted, I can come back with him." She heard Mrs. Gibson's voice following her in remonstrance, but she did not stay for words. She had to wait in the stable-yard, and she wondered how the messenger could bear to eat and drink the food and beer brought out to him by the servants. Her coming out had evidently interrupted the eager talk,—the questions and answers passing sharp to and fro; but she caught the words, "all amongst the tangled grass," and "the Squire would let none on us touch him: he took him up as if he was a baby; he had to rest many a time, and once he sate him down on the ground; but still he kept him in his arms; but we thought we should ne'er have gotten him up again—him and the body."
"I’m going. I have to go. I can’t stand the thought of him being alone. When Dad comes back, he will definitely go to Hamley, and if I’m not needed, I can return with him." She heard Mrs. Gibson’s voice trying to stop her, but she didn’t pause to listen. She had to wait in the stable yard and wondered how the messenger could manage to eat and drink the food and beer the servants brought him. Her arrival had clearly interrupted the lively conversation—the quick questions and answers exchanged back and forth; but she caught words like "all among the tangled grass," and "the Squire wouldn’t let any of us touch him: he picked him up like he was a baby; he had to rest many times, and once he sat him down on the ground; but still, he held him in his arms; we thought we’d never get him back up again—him and the body."
"The body!"
"The body!"
Molly had never felt that Osborne was really dead till she heard those words. They rode quick under the shadows of the hedgerow trees, but when they slackened speed, to go up a brow, or to give their horses breath, Molly heard those two little words again in her ears; and said them over again to herself, in hopes of forcing the sharp truth into her unwilling sense. But when they came in sight of the square stillness of the house, shining in the moonlight—the moon had risen by this time—Molly caught at her breath, and for an instant she thought she never could go in, and face the presence in that dwelling. One yellow light burnt steadily, spotting the silver shining with its earthly coarseness. The man pointed it out: it was almost the first word he had spoken since they had left Hollingford.
Molly had never truly believed that Osborne was dead until she heard those words. They rode quickly under the shadows of the hedgerow trees, but when they slowed down to climb a hill or let their horses catch their breath, Molly heard those two little words echoing in her mind; she repeated them to herself, hoping to force the harsh truth into her reluctant understanding. But when they finally saw the silent, square shape of the house glowing in the moonlight—the moon had risen by then—Molly gasped, and for a moment, she thought she wouldn't be able to go inside and confront what awaited her in that house. One yellow light burned steadily, contrasting with the silver shining with its earthly dullness. The man pointed it out: it was almost the first thing he had said since they left Hollingford.
"It's the old nursery. They carried him there. The Squire broke down at the stair-foot, and they took him to the readiest place. I'll be bound for it the Squire is there hisself, and old Robin too. They fetched him, as a knowledgable man among dumb beasts, till th' regular doctor came."
"It's the old nursery. They brought him there. The Squire fell apart at the bottom of the stairs, and they took him to the nearest place. I bet the Squire is there himself, along with old Robin. They brought him in, as someone who knows what to do among those who don’t understand, until the regular doctor arrived."
Molly dropped down from her seat before the man could dismount to help her. She gathered up her skirts and did not stay again to think of what was before her. She ran along the once familiar turns, and swiftly up the stairs, and through the doors, till she came to the last; then she stopped and listened. It was a deathly silence. She opened the door:—the Squire was sitting alone at the side of the bed, holding the dead man's hand, and looking straight before him at vacancy. He did not stir or move, even so much as an eyelid, at Molly's entrance. The truth had entered his soul before this, and he knew that no doctor, be he ever so cunning, could, with all his striving, put the breath into that body again. Molly came up to him with the softest steps, the most hushed breath that ever she could. She did not speak, for she did not know what to say. She felt that he had no more hope from earthly skill, so what was the use of speaking of her father and the delay in his coming? After a moment's pause, standing by the old man's side, she slipped down to the floor, and sat at his feet. Possibly her presence might have some balm in it; but uttering of words was as a vain thing. He must have been aware of her being there, but he took no apparent notice. There they sate, silent and still, he in his chair, she on the floor; the dead man, beneath the sheet, for a third. She fancied that she must have disturbed the father in his contemplation of the quiet face, now more than half, but not fully, covered up out of sight. Time had never seemed so without measure, silence had never seemed so noiseless as it did to Molly, sitting there. In the acuteness of her senses she heard a step mounting a distant staircase, coming slowly, coming nearer. She knew it not to be her father's, and that was all she cared about. Nearer and nearer—close to the outside of the door—a pause, and a soft hesitating tap. The great gaunt figure sitting by her side quivered at the sound. Molly rose and went to the door: it was Robinson, the old butler, holding in his hand a covered basin of soup.
Molly jumped down from her seat before the man could get off to help her. She gathered up her skirts and didn’t stop to think about what lay ahead. She dashed along the once-familiar turns, quickly up the stairs, and through the doors, until she reached the last one; then she paused and listened. It was eerily silent. She opened the door: the Squire was sitting alone at the side of the bed, holding the dead man's hand and staring blankly ahead. He didn’t budge or even blink at Molly's arrival. The reality had already settled in for him, and he knew that no doctor, no matter how skilled, could bring that body back to life. Molly approached him with the softest steps and the quietest breath she could manage. She didn’t say anything because she didn’t know what to say. She sensed he had no more expectations from earthly medicine, so there was no point in talking about her father and the delay in his arrival. After a moment standing by the old man's side, she sank to the floor and sat at his feet. Maybe her presence could offer some comfort; but speaking felt pointless. He must have known she was there, but he didn’t show any sign of it. They sat there, silent and still, he in his chair, she on the floor; the dead man, under the sheet, as a third presence. She imagined she might have interrupted the father in his contemplation of the quiet face, now mostly, but not fully, hidden from view. Time had never felt so endless, and silence had never felt so complete to Molly as it did then, sitting there. With her heightened senses, she heard a step climbing a distant staircase, moving slowly, getting closer. She knew it wasn’t her father's, and that was all that mattered to her. Closer and closer—right outside the door—a pause, followed by a soft, hesitant knock. The tall, gaunt figure next to her shivered at the sound. Molly stood up and walked to the door: it was Robinson, the old butler, holding a covered basin of soup.
"God bless you, Miss," said he; "make him touch a drop o' this: he's gone since breakfast without food, and it's past one in the morning now."
"God bless you, Miss," he said; "give him a sip of this: he hasn’t eaten since breakfast, and it’s past one in the morning now."
He softly removed the cover, and Molly took the basin back with her to her place at the Squire's side. She did not speak, for she did not well know what to say, or how to present this homely want of nature before one so rapt in grief. But she put a spoonful to his lips, and touched them with the savoury food, as if he had been a sick child, and she the nurse; and instinctively he took down the first spoonful of the soup. But in a minute he said, with a sort of cry, and almost overturning the basin Molly held, by his passionate gesture as he pointed to the bed,—
He gently took off the cover, and Molly brought the basin back to her spot next to the Squire. She remained silent, unsure of what to say or how to address this simple human need in front of someone so consumed by grief. But she brought a spoonful to his lips and touched them with the savory food, treating him as if he were a sick child and she his nurse; instinctively, he accepted the first spoonful of soup. However, a moment later, he exclaimed with distress, nearly knocking over the basin Molly held with his passionate gesture as he pointed to the bed,
"He will never eat again—never."
"He will never eat again."
Then he threw himself across the corpse, and wept in such a terrible manner that Molly trembled lest he also should die—should break his heart there and then. He took no more notice of her words, of her tears, of her presence, than he did of that of the moon, looking through the unclosed window, with passionless stare. Her father stood by them both before either of them was aware.
Then he threw himself over the body and cried so desperately that Molly was afraid he might die too—might break his heart right then and there. He paid no attention to her words, her tears, or her presence, just as he did not notice the moon gazing in through the open window with its emotionless gaze. Her father stood by them both before either of them noticed.
"Go downstairs, Molly," said he gravely; but he stroked her head tenderly as she rose. "Go into the dining-room." Now she felt the reaction from all her self-control. She trembled with fear as she went along the moonlit passages. It seemed to her as if she should meet Osborne, and hear it all explained; how he came to die,—what he now felt and thought and wished her to do. She did get down to the dining-room,—the last few steps with a rush of terror,—senseless terror of what might be behind her; and there she found supper laid out, and candles lit, and Robinson bustling about decanting some wine. She wanted to cry; to get into some quiet place, and weep away her over-excitement; but she could hardly do so there. She only felt very much tired, and to care for nothing in this world any more. But vividness of life came back when she found Robinson holding a glass to her lips as she sat in the great leather easy-chair, to which she had gone instinctively as to a place of rest.
"Go downstairs, Molly," he said seriously; but he gently stroked her head as she stood up. "Go into the dining room." Now she felt the release of all her self-control. She trembled with fear as she walked through the moonlit hallways. It felt to her like she would meet Osborne and hear everything explained: how he died—what he now felt and thought, and what he wanted her to do. She did make it to the dining room—the last few steps taken in a rush of terror—mindless terror about what might be behind her; and there she found the supper set out, candles lit, and Robinson busily decanting some wine. She wanted to cry, to find a quiet place and weep away her overwhelm; but she could hardly do that there. She only felt incredibly tired and indifferent to everything in the world. But the intensity of life returned when she found Robinson holding a glass to her lips as she sat in the big leather armchair, which she had instinctively chosen as a place to rest.
"Drink, Miss. It's good old Madeira. Your papa said as how you was to eat a bit. Says he, 'My daughter may have to stay here, Mr. Robinson, and she's young for the work. Persuade her to eat something, or she'll break down utterly.' Those was his very words."
"Drink, Miss. It's good old Madeira. Your dad said you should eat a bit. He said, 'My daughter might have to stay here, Mr. Robinson, and she's young for the work. Convince her to eat something, or she'll completely break down.' Those were his exact words."
Molly did not say anything. She had not energy enough for resistance. She drank and she ate at the old servant's bidding; and then she asked him to leave her alone, and went back to her easy-chair and let herself cry, and so ease her heart.
Molly didn’t say anything. She didn’t have enough energy to fight it. She ate and drank because the old servant told her to; then she asked him to leave her alone and went back to her easy chair to cry, letting her heart feel a little lighter.
CHAPTER LII.
SQUIRE HAMLEY'S SORROW.
It seemed very long before Mr. Gibson came down. He went and stood with his back to the empty fireplace, and did not speak for a minute or two.
It felt like forever before Mr. Gibson came downstairs. He walked over and stood with his back to the empty fireplace, not saying a word for a minute or two.
"He's gone to bed," said he at length. "Robinson and I have got him there. But just as I was leaving him he called me back and asked me to let you stop. I'm sure I don't know—but one doesn't like to refuse at such a time."
"He's gone to bed," he finally said. "Robinson and I got him settled. But just as I was leaving, he called me back and asked me to let you stay. I honestly don't know why—but you don't want to say no at a time like this."
"I wish to stay," said Molly.
"I want to stay," said Molly.
"Do you? There's a good girl. But how will you manage?"
"Do you? That's a good girl. But how are you going to handle it?"
"Oh, never mind that. I can manage. Papa,"—she paused—"what did Osborne die of?" She asked the question in a low, awe-stricken voice.
"Oh, forget about that. I can handle it. Dad,"—she paused—"what did Osborne die from?" She asked the question in a quiet, reverent voice.
"Something wrong about the heart. You wouldn't understand if I told you. I apprehended it for some time; but it's better not to talk of such things at home. When I saw him on Thursday week, he seemed better than I've seen him for a long time. I told Dr. Nicholls so. But one never can calculate in these complaints."
"There's something off about the heart. You wouldn’t get it even if I explained it to you. I sensed it for a while, but it's best not to discuss such things at home. When I saw him last Thursday, he appeared to be doing better than I've seen him in a long time. I even mentioned that to Dr. Nicholls. But you can never really predict these kinds of issues."
"You saw him on Thursday week? Why, you never mentioned it!" said Molly.
"You saw him last Thursday? Why didn’t you say anything?" said Molly.
"No. I don't talk of my patients at home. Besides, I didn't want him to consider me as his doctor, but as a friend. Any alarm about his own health would only have hastened the catastrophe."
"No. I don't talk about my patients at home. Besides, I didn't want him to see me as his doctor, but as a friend. Any concern about his own health would just have made things worse."
"Then didn't he know that he was ill—ill of a dangerous complaint, I mean: one that might end as it has done?"
"Then didn’t he realize that he was sick—sick with a serious condition, I mean: one that could end like it has?"
"No; certainly not. He would only have been watching his symptoms—accelerating matters, in fact."
"No, definitely not. He would just have been observing his symptoms—actually making things worse."
"Oh, papa!" said Molly, shocked.
"Oh, dad!" said Molly, shocked.
"I've no time to go into the question," Mr. Gibson continued. "And until you know what has to be said on both sides and in every instance, you are not qualified to judge. We must keep our attention on the duties in hand now. You sleep here for the remainder of the night, which is more than half-gone already?"
"I don't have time to discuss this," Mr. Gibson continued. "And until you understand what needs to be said from both perspectives and in every situation, you aren't in a position to judge. We need to focus on the tasks at hand right now. You can stay here for the rest of the night, which is already more than half over?"
"Yes."
"Yep."
"Promise me to go to bed just as usual. You may not think it, but most likely you'll go to sleep at once. People do at your age."
"Promise me you'll go to bed like you normally do. You might not believe it, but you'll probably fall asleep right away. Most people your age do."
"Papa, I think I ought to tell you something. I know a great secret of Osborne's, which I promised solemnly not to tell; but the last time I saw him I think he must have been afraid of something like this." A fit of sobbing came upon her, which her father was afraid would end in hysterics. But suddenly she mastered herself, and looked up into his anxious face, and smiled to reassure him.
" Dad, I think I need to tell you something. I know a big secret about Osborne's that I promised not to share; but the last time I saw him, I think he was worried about something like this." She suddenly burst into tears, and her father worried it would lead to hysterics. But then she composed herself, looked up at his concerned face, and smiled to ease his worries.
"I could not help it, papa!"
"I couldn’t help it, Dad!"
"No. I know. Go on with what you were saying. You ought to be in bed; but if you've a secret on your mind you won't sleep."
"No. I get it. Keep going with what you were saying. You should be in bed; but if you have a secret on your mind, you won’t be able to sleep."
"Osborne was married," said she, fixing her eyes on her father. "That is the secret."
"Osborne was married," she said, looking directly at her father. "That's the secret."
"Married! Nonsense. What makes you think so?"
"Married? That's ridiculous. Why do you think that?"
"He told me. That's to say, I was in the library—was reading there, some time ago; and Roger came and spoke to Osborne about his wife. Roger did not see me, but Osborne did. They made me promise secrecy. I don't think I did wrong."
"He told me. I mean, I was in the library—reading there, not long ago; and Roger came and talked to Osborne about his wife. Roger didn't notice me, but Osborne did. They made me promise to keep it secret. I don't think I did anything wrong."
"Don't worry yourself about right or wrong just now; tell me more about it, at once."
"Don't stress about what's right or wrong right now; just tell me more about it, immediately."
"I knew no more till six months ago—last November, when you went up to Lady Cumnor. Then he called, and gave me his wife's address, but still under promise of secrecy; and, except those two times, and once when Roger just alluded to it, I have never heard any one mention the subject. I think he would have told me more that last time, only Miss Phœbe came in."
"I didn’t know anything until six months ago—last November, when you visited Lady Cumnor. Then he came over and gave me his wife's address, but only on the condition of keeping it secret; and besides those two times, and once when Roger briefly mentioned it, I’ve never heard anyone talk about it. I think he would have shared more that last time, but Miss Phœbe walked in."
"Where is this wife of his?"
"Where's his wife?"
"Down in the south; near Winchester, I think. He said she was a Frenchwoman and a Roman Catholic; and I think he said she was a servant," added Molly.
"Down in the south, near Winchester, I think. He said she was a French woman and a Roman Catholic; and I think he said she was a servant," added Molly.
"Phew!" Her father made a long whistle of dismay.
"Phew!" Her dad let out a long whistle of disappointment.
"And," continued Molly, "he spoke of a child. Now you know as much as I do, papa, except the address. I have it written down safe at home."
"And," Molly continued, "he talked about a child. Now you know as much as I do, Dad, except for the address. I've got it written down safely at home."
Forgetting, apparently, what time of night it was, Mr. Gibson sate down, stretched out his legs before him, put his hands in his pockets, and began to think. Molly sate still without speaking, too tired to do more than wait.
Forgetting what time of night it was, Mr. Gibson sat down, stretched his legs out in front of him, put his hands in his pockets, and started to think. Molly sat quietly without saying anything, too tired to do more than wait.
"Well!" said he at last, jumping up, "nothing can be done to-night; by to-morrow morning, perhaps, I may find out. Poor little pale face!"—taking it between both his hands and kissing it; "poor, sweet, little pale face!" Then he rang the bell, and told Robinson to send some maid-servant to take Miss Gibson to her room.
"Well!" he finally said, jumping up, "nothing can be done tonight; maybe by tomorrow morning, I'll figure it out. Poor little pale face!"—taking it between both his hands and kissing it; "poor, sweet, little pale face!" Then he rang the bell and told Robinson to send a maid to take Miss Gibson to her room.
"He won't be up early," said he, in parting. "The shock has lowered him too much to be energetic. Send breakfast up to him in his own room. I'll be here again before ten."
"He won't be up early," he said as they parted. "The shock has drained him too much to be energetic. Send breakfast up to his room. I'll be back before ten."
Late as it was before he left, he kept his word.
Late as it was when he left, he kept his promise.
"Now, Molly," he said, "you and I must tell him the truth between us. I don't know how he will take it; it may comfort him, but I've very little hope: either way, he ought to know it at once."
"Now, Molly," he said, "you and I need to tell him the truth together. I’m not sure how he’ll react; it might put him at ease, but I have very little hope. Either way, he should know right away."
"Robinson says he has gone into the room again, and he is afraid he has locked the door on the inside."
"Robinson says he went into the room again, and he's worried he locked the door from the inside."
"Never mind. I shall ring the bell, and send up Robinson to say that I am here, and wish to speak to him."
"Never mind. I’ll ring the bell and send Robinson up to say that I’m here and want to talk to him."
The message returned was, "The Squire's kind love, and could not see Mr. Gibson just then." Robinson added, "It was a long time before he'd answer at all, sir."
The response was, "The Squire's kind regards, but he couldn't see Mr. Gibson at that moment." Robinson added, "It took him a while to respond at all, sir."
"Go up again, and tell him I can wait his convenience. Now that's a lie," Mr. Gibson said, turning round to Molly as soon as Robinson had left the room. "I ought to be far enough away at twelve; but, if I'm not much mistaken, the innate habits of a gentleman will make him uneasy at the idea of keeping me waiting his pleasure, and will do more to bring him out of that room into this than any entreaties or reasoning." Mr. Gibson was growing impatient though, before they heard the Squire's footstep on the stairs; he was evidently coming slowly and unwillingly. He came in almost like one blind, groping along, and taking hold of chair or table for support or guidance till he reached Mr. Gibson. He did not speak when he held the doctor by the hand; he only hung down his head, and kept on a feeble shaking of welcome.
"Go back and tell him I can wait for him," Mr. Gibson said, turning to Molly as soon as Robinson left the room. "Now that's not true. I should be far enough away by twelve, but if I'm not mistaken, his gentlemanly nature will make him uncomfortable with the idea of making me wait and will do more to get him out of that room and here than any pleading or reasoning." Mr. Gibson was getting impatient, yet before they heard the Squire's footsteps on the stairs, he was clearly coming down slowly and reluctantly. He entered almost as if he were blind, feeling his way along and grabbing onto chairs or tables for support until he reached Mr. Gibson. He didn't say anything when he took the doctor's hand; he just hung his head and gave a weak shake of welcome.
"I'm brought very low, sir. I suppose it's God's doing; but it comes hard upon me. He was my firstborn child." He said this almost as if speaking to a stranger, and informing him of facts of which he was ignorant.
"I'm feeling really down, sir. I guess it's God's will; but it's really tough for me. He was my first child." He said this almost like he was talking to a stranger, sharing information that he didn't know.
"Here's Molly," said Mr. Gibson, choking a little himself, and pushing her forwards.
"Here’s Molly," Mr. Gibson said, slightly choked up, as he nudged her forward.
"I beg your pardon; I did not see you at first. My mind is a good deal occupied just now." He sate heavily down, and then seemed almost to forget they were there. Molly wondered what was to come next. Suddenly her father spoke,—
"I’m sorry; I didn’t see you at first. I’m really distracted right now." He sat down heavily and then seemed to forget they were there. Molly wondered what would happen next. Suddenly, her father spoke, —
"Where's Roger?" said he. "Is he not likely to be soon at the Cape?" He got up and looked at the directions of one or two unopened letters brought by that morning's post; among them was one in Cynthia's handwriting. Both Molly and he saw it at the same time. How long it was since yesterday! But the Squire took no notice of their proceedings or their looks.
"Where's Roger?" he asked. "Isn’t he supposed to be at the Cape soon?" He stood up and glanced at the addresses on a couple of unopened letters that arrived in that morning's mail; one of them was written in Cynthia's handwriting. Both Molly and he noticed it at the same moment. It felt like ages since yesterday! But the Squire paid no attention to what they were doing or how they were looking.
"You will be glad to have Roger at home as soon as may be, I think, sir. Some months must elapse first; but I'm sure he will return as speedily as possible."
"You'll be happy to have Roger home as soon as possible, I think, sir. It will still be a few months, but I'm sure he'll return as quickly as he can."
The Squire said something in a very low voice. Both father and daughter strained their ears to hear what it was. They both believed it to be, "Roger isn't Osborne!" And Mr. Gibson spoke on that belief. He spoke more quietly than Molly had ever heard him do before.
The Squire said something in a very quiet voice. Both father and daughter leaned in to catch what it was. They both thought it was, "Roger isn't Osborne!" And Mr. Gibson spoke based on that belief. He spoke more softly than Molly had ever heard him before.
"No! we know that. I wish that anything that Roger could do, or that I could do, or that any one could do, would comfort you; but it is past human comfort."
"No! We know that. I wish there was something Roger could do, or something I could do, or anything anyone could do that would make you feel better; but this is beyond human comfort."
"I do try to say, God's will be done, sir," said the Squire, looking up at Mr. Gibson for the first time, and speaking with more life in his voice; "but it's harder to be resigned than happy people think." They were all silent for a while. The Squire himself was the first to speak again,—"He was my first child, sir; my eldest son. And of late years we weren't"—his voice broke down, but he controlled himself—"we weren't quite as good friends as could be wished; and I'm not sure—not sure that he knew how I loved him." And now he cried aloud with an exceeding bitter cry.
"I do try to say, 'Whatever God wants, will happen,' sir," the Squire said, looking up at Mr. Gibson for the first time and speaking with more energy in his voice; "but it's harder to accept than happy people think." They were all quiet for a moment. The Squire himself was the first to speak again, "He was my first child, sir; my oldest son. And in recent years we weren't"—his voice faltered, but he steadied himself—"we weren't exactly the best of friends as I would have liked; and I'm not sure—not sure he knew how much I loved him." And now he cried out with an incredibly bitter cry.
"Better so!" whispered Mr. Gibson to Molly. "When he's a little calmer, don't be afraid; tell him all you know, exactly as it happened."
"That's better!" Mr. Gibson whispered to Molly. "When he’s a bit calmer, don’t be scared; tell him everything you know, just as it happened."
Molly began. Her voice sounded high and unnatural to herself, as if some one else was speaking, but she made her words clear. The Squire did not attempt to listen, at first, at any rate.
Molly started to speak. Her voice felt high and strange to her, almost like someone else was talking, but she made sure her words were clear. The Squire didn't try to listen at first, anyway.
"One day when I was here, at the time of Mrs. Hamley's last illness" (the Squire here checked his convulsive breathing), "I was in the library, and Osborne came in. He said he had only come in for a book, and that I was not to mind him, so I went on reading. Presently, Roger came along the flagged garden-path just outside the window (which was open). He did not see me in the corner where I was sitting, and said to Osborne, 'Here's a letter from your wife!'"
"One day when I was here, during Mrs. Hamley's last illness" (the Squire interrupted his shaky breathing), "I was in the library, and Osborne walked in. He said he was just there for a book and that I shouldn't pay any attention to him, so I kept reading. Soon after, Roger walked along the stone path outside the window (which was open). He didn’t see me in the corner where I was sitting and said to Osborne, 'Here’s a letter from your wife!'"
Now the Squire was all attention; for the first time his tear-swollen eyes met the eyes of another, and he looked at Molly with searching anxiety, as he repeated, "His wife! Osborne married!" Molly went on:
Now the Squire was fully focused; for the first time, his tear-filled eyes met someone else's, and he looked at Molly with deep concern as he repeated, "His wife! Osborne married!" Molly continued:
"Osborne was angry with Roger for speaking out before me, and they made me promise never to mention it to any one; or to allude to it to either of them again. I never named it to papa till last night."
"Osborne was mad at Roger for talking to me beforehand, and they made me promise not to tell anyone about it or bring it up with either of them again. I didn't mention it to Dad until last night."
"Go on," said Mr. Gibson. "Tell the Squire about Osborne's call—what you told me!" Still the Squire hung on her lips, listening with open mouth and eyes.
"Go ahead," said Mr. Gibson. "Tell the Squire about Osborne's visit—what you told me!" The Squire continued to hang on her words, listening with his mouth open and eyes wide.
"Some months ago Osborne called. He was not well, and wanted to see papa. Papa was away, and I was alone. I don't exactly remember how it came about, but he spoke to me of his wife for the first and only time since the affair in the library." She looked at her father, as if questioning him as to the desirableness of telling the few further particulars that she knew. The Squire's mouth was dry and stiff, but he tried to say, "Tell me all,—everything." And Molly understood the half-formed words.
"Some months ago, Osborne called. He wasn’t feeling well and wanted to see Dad. Dad was away, and I was by myself. I can’t quite remember how it happened, but he talked to me about his wife for the first and only time since the incident in the library." She glanced at her father, as if asking him whether she should share the few additional details she knew. The Squire's mouth was dry and tense, but he attempted to say, "Tell me everything." And Molly understood his incomplete words.
"He said his wife was a good woman, and that he loved her dearly; but she was a French Roman Catholic, and a"—another glance at her father—"she had been a servant once. That was all; except that I have her address at home. He wrote it down and gave it me."
"He said his wife was a good woman and that he loved her deeply; but she was a French Roman Catholic, and a"—another look at her father—"she had once been a servant. That was it; except that I have her address at home. He wrote it down and gave it to me."
"Well, well!" moaned the Squire. "It's all over now. All over. All past and gone. We'll not blame him,—no; but I wish he'd ha' told me; he and I to live together with such a secret in one of us. It's no wonder to me now—nothing can be a wonder again, for one never can tell what's in a man's heart. Married so long! and we sitting together at meals—and living together. Why, I told him everything! Too much, may be, for I showed him all my passions and ill-tempers! Married so long! Oh, Osborne, Osborne, you should have told me!"
"Well, well!" groaned the Squire. "It's all over now. It's all done. All past and gone. We won't blame him—no; but I wish he would have told me; him and I living together with such a secret between us. It's no surprise to me now—nothing can surprise me again, because you can never tell what's in a man's heart. Married for so long! and we eating together at meals—and living together. I told him everything! Maybe too much, because I shared all my feelings and bad moods! Married for so long! Oh, Osborne, Osborne, you should have told me!"
"Yes, he should!" said Mr. Gibson. "But I daresay he knew how much you would dislike such a choice as he had made. But he should have told you!"
"Yes, he should!" said Mr. Gibson. "But I bet he knew how much you would hate the choice he made. Still, he should have told you!"
"You know nothing about it, sir," said the Squire sharply. "You don't know the terms we were on. Not hearty or confidential. I was cross to him many a time; angry with him for being dull, poor lad—and he with all this weight on his mind. I won't have people interfering and judging between me and my sons. And Roger too! He could know it all, and keep it from me!"
"You don’t know anything about it, sir," the Squire said sharply. "You’re not aware of the terms we had. It wasn’t friendly or open. I was upset with him many times; angry with him for being boring, poor guy—and he had all this stress weighing on him. I won’t tolerate anyone interfering and judging between me and my sons. And Roger too! He could know everything and hide it from me!"
"Osborne evidently had bound him down to secrecy, just as he bound me," said Molly; "Roger could not help himself."
"Osborne clearly had forced him to keep quiet, just like he did with me," said Molly; "Roger couldn't do anything about it."
"Osborne was such a fellow for persuading people, and winning them over," said the Squire, dreamily. "I remember—but what's the use of remembering? It's all over, and Osborne's dead without opening his heart to me. I could have been tender to him, I could. But he'll never know it now!"
"Osborne was really great at convincing people and winning them over," the Squire said, lost in thought. "I remember—but what's the point of remembering? It's all in the past, and Osborne's gone without ever opening up to me. I could have been kind to him, I truly could. But he'll never know that now!"
"But we can guess what wish he had strongest in his mind at the last, from what we do know of his life," said Mr. Gibson.
"But we can guess what wish was most on his mind at the end, based on what we do know about his life," said Mr. Gibson.
"What, sir?" said the Squire, with sharp suspicion of what was coming.
"What, sir?" the Squire said, sounding sharply suspicious of what was about to happen.
"His wife must have been his last thought, must she not?"
"His wife must have been his last thought, right?"
"How do I know she was his wife? Do you think he'd go and marry a French baggage of a servant? It may be all a tale trumped up."
"How do I know she was his wife? Do you really think he’d go and marry some French servant? It could all just be a made-up story."
"Stop, Squire. I don't care to defend my daughter's truth or accuracy. But with the dead man's body lying upstairs—his soul with God—think twice before you say more hasty words, impugning his character; if she was not his wife, what was she?"
"Hold on, Squire. I’m not interested in defending my daughter’s truth or accuracy. But with the dead man's body upstairs—his soul with God—think carefully before you say anything else that slanders his character; if she wasn’t his wife, then what was she?"
"I beg your pardon. I hardly know what I'm saying. Did I accuse Osborne? Oh, my lad, my lad—thou might have trusted thy old dad! He used to call me his 'old dad' when he was a little chap not bigger than this," indicating a certain height with his hand. "I never meant to say he was not—not what one would wish to think him now—his soul with God, as you say very justly—for I'm sure it is there—"
"I’m really sorry. I barely know what I’m saying. Did I blame Osborne? Oh, my boy, my boy—you could have trusted your old dad! He used to call me his 'old dad' when he was a little guy not taller than this," he said, showing a certain height with his hand. "I never meant to imply he wasn’t—well, not what you would want to think of him now—his soul with God, as you rightly say—because I’m sure it is there—"
"Well! but, Squire," said Mr. Gibson, trying to check the other's rambling, "to return to his wife—"
"Well! but, Squire," Mr. Gibson said, trying to rein in the other’s rambling, "to get back to his spouse
"And the child," whispered Molly to her father. Low as the whisper was, it struck on the Squire's ear.
"And the child," Molly whispered to her father. Even though her voice was quiet, it caught the Squire's attention.
"What?" said he, turning round to her suddenly, "—child? You never named that? Is there a child? Husband and father, and I never knew! God bless Osborne's child! I say, God bless it!" He stood up reverently, and the other two instinctively rose. He closed his hands as if in momentary prayer. Then exhausted he sate down again, and put out his hand to Molly.
"What?" he said, turning to her suddenly, "—child? You never mentioned that? Is there a child? Husband and father, and I never knew! God bless Osborne's child! I mean, God bless it!" He stood up respectfully, and the other two automatically stood as well. He brought his hands together as if in a brief prayer. Then, feeling drained, he sat down again and reached out his hand to Molly.
"You're a good girl. Thank you.—Tell me what I ought to do, and I'll do it." This to Mr. Gibson.
"You're a good girl. Thank you.—Just tell me what I should do, and I'll do it." This to Mr. Gibson.
"I'm almost as much puzzled as you are, Squire," replied he. "I fully believe the whole story; but I think there must be some written confirmation of it, which perhaps ought to be found at once, before we act. Most probably this is to be discovered among Osborne's papers. Will you look over them at once? Molly shall return with me, and find the address that Osborne gave her, while you are busy—"
"I'm just as confused as you are, Squire," he replied. "I totally believe the whole story, but I think there should be some written proof of it that we need to find right away before we do anything. Most likely, this is in Osborne's papers. Could you check them now? Molly can come back with me and find the address that Osborne gave her while you’re occupied
"She'll come back again?" said the Squire eagerly. "You—she won't leave me to myself?"
"She'll come back again?" the Squire asked eagerly. "You—she won't leave me on my own?"
"No! She shall come back this evening. I'll manage to send her somehow. But she has no clothes but the habit she came in, and I want my horse that she rode away upon."
"No! She'll be back this evening. I'll find a way to send her. But she only has the clothes she arrived in, and I need my horse that she rode away on."
"Take the carriage," said the Squire. "Take anything. I'll give orders. You'll come back again, too?"
"Take the carriage," said the Squire. "Take whatever you need. I'll give the orders. You'll come back, right?"
"No! I'm afraid not, to-day. I'll come to-morrow, early. Molly shall return this evening, whenever it suits you to send for her."
"No! I'm afraid not today. I'll come tomorrow, early. Molly will come back this evening, whenever it's convenient for you to send for her."
"This afternoon; the carriage shall be at your house at three. I dare not look at Osborne's—at the papers without one of you with me; and yet I shall never rest till I know more."
"This afternoon, the carriage will be at your house at three. I can't bring myself to look at Osborne's or at the papers without one of you with me; yet I won't be able to relax until I know more."
"I'll send the desk in by Robinson before I leave. And—can you give me some lunch before I go?"
"I'll have Robinson bring the desk in before I leave. And—can you get me some lunch before I go?"
Little by little he led the Squire to eat a morsel or so of food; and so, strengthening him physically, and encouraging him mentally, Mr. Gibson hoped that he would begin his researches during Molly's absence.
Little by little, he got the Squire to eat a bit of food; and by doing this, Mr. Gibson hoped to strengthen him physically and encourage him mentally, so he would start his research while Molly was away.
There was something touching in the Squire's wistful looks after Molly as she moved about. A stranger might have imagined her to be his daughter instead of Mr. Gibson's. The meek, broken-down, considerate ways of the bereaved father never showed themselves more strongly than when he called them back to his chair, out of which he seemed too languid to rise, and said, as if by an after-thought: "Give my love to Miss Kirkpatrick; tell her I look upon her as quite one of the family. I shall be glad to see her after—after the funeral. I don't think I can before."
There was something touching in the Squire's longing glances at Molly as she moved around. A stranger might have thought she was his daughter instead of Mr. Gibson's. The gentle, worn-down, considerate nature of the grieving father never came through more clearly than when he called her back to his chair, from which he seemed too weak to rise, and said, almost as an afterthought: "Send my love to Miss Kirkpatrick; let her know I consider her part of the family. I’ll be happy to see her after—after the funeral. I don’t think I can do so before."
"He knows nothing of Cynthia's resolution to give up Roger," said Mr. Gibson as they rode away. "I had a long talk with her last night, but she was as resolute as ever. From what your mamma tells me, there is a third lover in London, whom she's already refused. I'm thankful that you've no lover at all, Molly, unless that abortive attempt of Mr. Coxe's at an offer, long ago, can be called a lover."
"He knows nothing about Cynthia's decision to break things off with Roger," Mr. Gibson said as they rode away. "I had a long conversation with her last night, but she was as determined as ever. According to what your mom tells me, there's another guy in London who she's already turned down. I'm glad you don't have a boyfriend, Molly, unless you consider that failed attempt by Mr. Coxe to propose a romantic gesture."
"I never heard of it, papa!" said Molly.
"I've never heard of it, Dad!" said Molly.
"Oh, no; I forgot. What a fool I was! Why, don't you remember the hurry I was in to get you off to Hamley Hall, the very first time you ever went? It was all because I got hold of a desperate love-letter from Coxe, addressed to you."
"Oh no; I totally forgot. What a fool I've been! Don’t you remember how rushed I was to get you to Hamley Hall the very first time you went? It was all because I found a desperate love letter from Coxe, addressed to you."
But Molly was too tired to be amused, or even interested. She could not get over the sight of the straight body covered with a sheet, which yet let the outlines be seen,—all that remained of Osborne. Her father had trusted too much to the motion of the ride, and the change of scene from the darkened house. He saw his mistake.
But Molly was too tired to find it funny, or even care. She couldn't shake off the image of the straight body wrapped in a sheet, which still showed its shape—all that was left of Osborne. Her father had relied too much on the distraction of the ride and the change of scenery from the darkened house. He realized his mistake.
"Some one must write to Mrs. Osborne Hamley," said he. "I believe her to have a legal right to the name; but whether or no, she must be told that the father of her child is dead. Shall you do it, or I?"
"Someone needs to write to Mrs. Osborne Hamley," he said. "I believe she has a legal right to the name; but regardless, she needs to be informed that the father of her child is dead. Will you do it, or should I?"
"Oh, you, please, papa!"
"Oh, please, Dad!"
"I will, if you wish. But she may have heard of you as a friend of her dead husband's; while of me—a mere country doctor—it's very probable she has never heard the name."
"I will, if you want. But she might have heard of you as a friend of her late husband; while as for me—a simple country doctor—it's likely she has never heard my name."
"If I ought, I will do it." Mr. Gibson did not like this ready acquiescence, given in so few words, too.
"If I should, I will." Mr. Gibson didn't like this quick agreement, especially since it was expressed in so few words, too.
"There's Hollingford church-spire," said she presently, as they drew near the town, and caught a glimpse of the church through the trees. "I think I never wish to go out of sight of it again."
"There's the Hollingford church spire," she said after a moment, as they got closer to the town and caught a glimpse of the church through the trees. "I don't think I ever want to be out of sight of it again."
"Nonsense!" said he. "Why, you've all your travelling to do yet; and if these new-fangled railways spread, as they say they will, we shall all be spinning about the world; 'sitting on tea-kettles,' as Phœbe Browning calls it. Miss Browning wrote such a capital letter of advice to Miss Hornblower. I heard of it at the Millers'. Miss Hornblower was going to travel by railroad for the first time; and Dorothy was very anxious, and sent her directions for her conduct; one piece of advice was not to sit on the boiler."
"That's ridiculous!" he said. "You still have all your traveling ahead of you; and if these newfangled railways take off like people say they will, we'll all be zipping around the world, 'sitting on tea kettles,' like Phœbe Browning puts it. Miss Browning wrote an excellent advice letter to Miss Hornblower. I heard about it at the Millers'. Miss Hornblower was going to travel by train for the first time, and Dorothy was really worried, so she sent her instructions on how to behave; one piece of advice was not to sit on the boiler."
Molly laughed a little, as she was expected to do. "Here we are at home, at last."
Molly laughed a bit, as was expected of her. "Here we are at home, finally."
Mrs. Gibson gave Molly a warm welcome. For one thing, Cynthia was in disgrace; for another, Molly came from the centre of news; for a third, Mrs. Gibson was really fond of the girl, in her way, and sorry to see her pale heavy looks.
Mrs. Gibson welcomed Molly with open arms. For one reason, Cynthia was in trouble; for another, Molly was a source of news; and on top of that, Mrs. Gibson genuinely liked the girl, in her own way, and felt sorry to see her looking so pale and heavy.
"To think of it all being so sudden at last! Not but what I always expected it! And so provoking! Just when Cynthia had given up Roger! If she had only waited a day! What does the Squire say to it all?"
"Can you believe how sudden it all happened? I’ve always expected it, though! It's so frustrating! Just when Cynthia had completely given up on Roger! If only she had waited just one more day! What does the Squire think about all of this?"
"He is beaten down with grief," replied Molly.
"He is overwhelmed with grief," replied Molly.
"Indeed! I should not have fancied he had liked the engagement so much."
"Sure! I shouldn't have thought he liked the engagement that much."
"What engagement?"
"What involvement?"
"Why, Roger to Cynthia, to be sure. I asked you how the Squire took her letter, announcing the breaking of it off?"
"Why, Roger to Cynthia, of course. I asked you how the Squire reacted to her letter, saying she was ending it?"
"Oh—I made a mistake. He hasn't opened his letters to-day. I saw Cynthia's among them."
"Oh—I messed up. He hasn't opened his letters today. I noticed Cynthia's among them."
"Now that I call positive disrespect."
"Now that's what I call positive disrespect."
"I don't know. He did not mean it for such. Where is Cynthia?"
"I don't know. He didn't mean it that way. Where's Cynthia?"
"Gone out into the meadow-garden. She'll be in directly. I wanted her to do some errands for me, but she flatly refused to go into the town. I am afraid she mismanages her affairs badly. But she won't allow me to interfere. I hate to look at such things in a mercenary spirit, but it is provoking to see her throw over two such good matches. First Mr. Henderson, and now Roger Hamley. When does the Squire expect Roger? Does he think he will come back sooner for poor dear Osborne's death?"
"She’s gone out to the garden. She’ll be back soon. I wanted her to run some errands for me, but she completely refused to go into town. I’m worried she’s handling her affairs poorly. But she won’t let me get involved. I dislike viewing things with a money-oriented mindset, but it’s frustrating to see her pass up two such good opportunities. First Mr. Henderson, and now Roger Hamley. When does the Squire expect Roger? Does he think he’ll return sooner because of poor dear Osborne’s death?"
"I don't know. He hardly seems to think of anything but Osborne. He appears to me to have almost forgotten every one else. But perhaps the news of Osborne's being married, and of the child, may rouse him up."
"I don't know. He barely seems to think about anything except Osborne. It seems to me that he's almost forgotten everyone else. But maybe the news that Osborne got married and has a child will wake him up."
Molly had no doubt that Osborne was really and truly married, nor had she any idea that her father had never breathed the facts of which she had told him on the previous night, to his wife or Cynthia. But Mr. Gibson had been slightly dubious of the full legality of the marriage, and had not felt inclined to speak of it to his wife until that had been ascertained one way or another. So Mrs. Gibson exclaimed, "What do you mean, child? Married! Osborne married! Who says so?"
Molly had no doubt that Osborne was truly married, and she had no idea that her father had never mentioned what she told him the night before to his wife or Cynthia. However, Mr. Gibson had some doubts about the full legality of the marriage and didn't want to bring it up with his wife until he figured it out one way or another. So Mrs. Gibson exclaimed, "What do you mean, child? Married! Osborne married! Who says that?"
"Oh, dear! I suppose I ought not to have named it. I'm very stupid to-day. Yes! Osborne has been married a long time; but the Squire did not know of it until this morning. I think it has done him good. But I don't know."
"Oh, dear! I guess I shouldn't have mentioned it. I'm feeling really foolish today. Yes! Osborne has been married for a while, but the Squire found out only this morning. I think it’s been good for him. But I’m not sure."
"Who is the lady? Why, I call it a shame to go about as a single man, and be married all the time! If there is one thing that revolts me, it is duplicity. Who is the lady? Do tell me all you know about it, there's a dear."
"Who is the lady? Honestly, it's shameful to act like a single guy while being married all along! If there's one thing I can't stand, it’s dishonesty. Who is the lady? Please tell me everything you know about her, would you?"
"She is French, and a Roman Catholic," said Molly.
"She's French and Catholic," said Molly.
"French! They are such beguiling women; and he was so much abroad! You said there was a child,—is it a boy or a girl?"
"French! They're such captivating women; and he was away so much! You mentioned there was a child— is it a boy or a girl?"
"I did not hear. I did not ask."
"I didn't hear. I didn't ask."
Molly did not think it necessary to do more than answer questions; indeed, she was vexed enough to have told anything of what her father evidently considered it desirable to keep secret. Just then Cynthia came wandering into the room with a careless, hopeless look in her face, which Molly noticed at once. She had not heard of Molly's arrival, and had no idea that she was returned until she saw her sitting there.
Molly didn’t think it was necessary to do more than answer questions; in fact, she was irritated enough to have shared anything that her father clearly wanted to keep private. Just then, Cynthia came into the room looking careless and defeated, which Molly noticed immediately. She hadn’t heard about Molly’s arrival and had no idea she was back until she saw her sitting there.
"Molly, darling! Is that you? You're as welcome as the flowers in May, though you've not been gone twenty-four hours. But the house isn't the same when you are away!"
"Molly, sweetheart! Is that you? You're as welcome as the flowers in May, even though you haven't been gone for twenty-four hours. But the house just isn't the same when you're not here!"
"And she brings us such news too!" said Mrs. Gibson. "I'm really almost glad you wrote to the Squire yesterday, for if you had waited till to-day—I thought you were in too great a hurry at the time—he might have thought you had some interested reason for giving up your engagement. Osborne Hamley was married all this time unknown to everybody, and has got a child too."
"And she brings us such news too!" said Mrs. Gibson. "I’m actually glad you wrote to the Squire yesterday because if you had waited until today—I thought you were rushing things at the time—he might have assumed you had some selfish reason for backing out of your engagement. Osborne Hamley has been married this whole time without anyone knowing, and he has a child too."
"Osborne married!" exclaimed Cynthia. "If ever a man looked a bachelor, he did. Poor Osborne! with his fair delicate elegance,—he looked so young and boyish!"
"Osborne got married!" Cynthia exclaimed. "If there was ever a guy who looked like a bachelor, it was him. Poor Osborne! With his fair, delicate charm—he looked so young and boyish!"
"Yes! it was a great piece of deceit, and I can't easily forgive him for it. Only think! If he had paid either of you any particular attention, and you had fallen in love with him! Why, he might have broken your heart, or Molly's either. I can't forgive him, even though he is dead, poor fellow!"
"Yes! It was a really clever trick, and I can't easily let him off the hook for it. Just think! If he had given either of you special attention, and you had fallen for him! He could have broken your heart or Molly's too. I can't forgive him, even though he's gone, poor guy!"
"Well, as he never did pay either of us any particular attention, and as we neither of us did fall in love with him, I think I only feel sorry that he had all the trouble and worry of concealment." Cynthia spoke with a pretty keen recollection of how much trouble and worry her concealment had cost her.
"Well, since he never really paid either of us any special attention, and we both didn’t fall in love with him, I guess I just feel bad that he had to deal with all the stress and worry of hiding things." Cynthia spoke with a clear memory of just how much trouble and stress her own concealment had brought her.
"And now of course it is a son, and will be the heir, and Roger will just be as poorly off as ever. I hope you'll take care and let the Squire know Cynthia was quite ignorant of these new facts that have come out when she wrote those letters, Molly? I should not like a suspicion of worldliness to rest upon any one with whom I had any concern."
"And now, of course, it’s a son, who will be the heir, and Roger will still be as badly off as ever. I hope you’ll be careful and let the Squire know that Cynthia had no idea about these new facts that have come to light when she wrote those letters, Molly? I wouldn’t want any hint of being worldly to fall on anyone I’m connected with."
"He hasn't read Cynthia's letter yet. Oh, do let me bring it home unopened," said Molly. "Send another letter to Roger—now—at once; it will reach him at the same time; he will get both when he arrives at the Cape, and make him understand which is the last—the real one. Think! he will hear of Osborne's death at the same time—two such sad things! Do, Cynthia!"
"He hasn't read Cynthia's letter yet. Oh, please let me take it home unopened," said Molly. "Send another letter to Roger—right now; it will reach him at the same time. He will get both when he arrives at the Cape, and it will make it clear which one is the latest—the real one. Think! He will hear about Osborne's death at the same time—two such sad things! Please, Cynthia!"
"No, my dear," said Mrs. Gibson. "I could not allow that, even if Cynthia felt inclined for it. Asking to be re-engaged to him! At any rate, she must wait now until he proposes again, and we see how things turn out."
"No, my dear," Mrs. Gibson said. "I can't let that happen, even if Cynthia is interested. Asking to get back together with him! For now, she has to wait until he proposes again, and we’ll see how it all plays out."
But Molly kept her pleading eyes fixed on Cynthia.
But Molly kept her pleading eyes on Cynthia.
"No!" said Cynthia firmly, but not without consideration. "It cannot be. I've felt more content this last night than I've done for weeks past. I'm glad to be free. I dreaded Roger's goodness, and learning, and all that. It was not in my way, and I don't believe I should have ever married him, even without knowing of all these ill-natured stories that are circulating about me, and which he would hear of, and expect me to explain, and be sorry for, and penitent and humble. I know he could not have made me happy, and I don't believe he would have been happy with me. It must stay as it is. I would rather be a governess than married to him. I should get weary of him every day of my life."
"No!" Cynthia said firmly, but not without thought. "It can't be. I felt more content last night than I have in weeks. I'm glad to be free. I dreaded Roger's goodness and learning, and all of that. It wasn't for me, and I honestly don't think I would have ever married him, even without knowing about all these nasty rumors going around about me, which he would hear, expect me to explain, feel sorry about, and apologize for. I know he couldn't have made me happy, and I don't think he would have been happy with me. It has to stay as it is. I'd rather be a governess than married to him. I would get tired of him every single day."
"Weary of Roger!" said Molly to herself. "It is best as it is, I see," she answered aloud. "Only I'm very sorry for him, very. He did love you so. You will never get any one to love you like him!"
"We're tired of Roger!" Molly said to herself. "It's better this way, I realize," she replied out loud. "I just feel really sorry for him, I do. He loved you so much. You'll never find anyone who will love you like he did!"
"Very well. I must take my chance. And too much love is rather oppressive to me, I believe. I like a great deal, widely spread about; not all confined to one individual lover."
"Alright. I have to take my chance. And I think too much love can be a bit overwhelming for me. I prefer a lot of it, shared among many, rather than all focused on one person."
"I don't believe you," said Molly. "But don't let us talk any more about it. It is best as it is. I thought—I almost felt sure you would be sorry this morning. But we will leave it alone now." She sate silently looking out of the window, her heart sorely stirred, she scarcely knew how or why. But she could not have spoken. Most likely she would have begun to cry if she had spoken. Cynthia stole softly up to her after a while.
"I don’t believe you," Molly said. "But let’s not talk about it anymore. It’s better this way. I thought—I almost felt certain you’d regret it this morning. But let’s just drop it for now." She sat quietly looking out the window, her heart deeply troubled, though she couldn’t quite understand why. But she couldn’t speak; she probably would have started crying if she had. After a while, Cynthia quietly approached her.
"You are vexed with me, Molly," she began in a low voice. But Molly turned sharply round:
"You’re upset with me, Molly," she started in a quiet tone. But Molly turned around sharply:
"I! I have no business at all in the affair. It is for you to judge. Do what you think right. I believe you have done right. Only I don't want to discuss it, and paw it over with talk. I'm very much tired, dear"—gently now she spoke—"and I hardly know what I say. If I speak crossly, don't mind it." Cynthia did not reply at once. Then she said,—
"I have nothing to do with this situation. It's up to you to decide. Do what you think is best. I trust that you've made the right choice. I just don’t want to talk about it and go over it endlessly. I’m really tired, dear,"—she spoke softly now—"and I can barely think straight. If I come across as snappy, please don’t take it personally." Cynthia didn't answer right away. Then she said,—
"Do you think I might go with you, and help you? I might have done yesterday; and you say he hasn't opened my letter, so he has not heard as yet. And I was always fond of poor Osborne, in my way, you know."
"Do you think I could go with you and help you? I could have done it yesterday; and you say he hasn't opened my letter, so he hasn't heard yet. And I always cared about poor Osborne, in my own way, you know."
"I cannot tell; I have no right to say," replied Molly, scarcely understanding Cynthia's motives, which, after all, were only impulses in this case. "Papa would be able to judge; I think, perhaps, you had better not. But don't go by my opinion; I can only tell what I should wish to do in your place."
"I can't say; I have no right to decide," Molly replied, barely grasping Cynthia's motives, which were just impulses in this case. "Dad would know better; I think it’s probably best if you don’t. But don’t rely on my opinion; I can only share what I would want to do if I were in your shoes."
"It was as much for your sake as any one's, Molly," said Cynthia.
"It was just as much for you as it was for anyone else, Molly," said Cynthia.
"Oh, then, don't! I am tired to-day with sitting up; but to-morrow I shall be all right; and I should not like it, if, for my sake, you came into the house at so solemn a time."
"Oh, then, don't! I'm tired today from staying up; but tomorrow I'll be fine, and I wouldn't like it if you came into the house at such a serious time because of me."
"Very well!" said Cynthia, half-glad that her impulsive offer was declined; for, as she said, thinking to herself, "It would have been awkward after all." So Molly went back in the carriage alone, wondering how she should find the Squire; wondering what discoveries he had made among Osborne's papers, and at what conviction he would have arrived.
"Alright!" Cynthia said, feeling somewhat relieved that her impulsive offer was turned down; because, as she thought to herself, "It would have been awkward anyway." So Molly returned to the carriage alone, pondering how she would find the Squire, curious about what he had uncovered among Osborne's papers and what conclusion he would have reached.
CHAPTER LIII.
UNLOOKED-FOR ARRIVALS.
Robinson opened the door for Molly almost before the carriage had fairly drawn up at the Hall, and told her that the Squire had been very anxious for her return, and had more than once sent him to an upstairs window, from which a glimpse of the hill-road between Hollingford and Hamley could be caught, to know if the carriage was not yet in sight. Molly went into the drawing-room. The Squire was standing in the middle of the floor awaiting her—in fact, longing to go out and meet her, but restrained by a feeling of solemn etiquette, which prevented his moving about as usual in that house of mourning. He held a paper in his hands, which were trembling with excitement and emotion; and four or five open letters were strewed on a table near him.
Robinson opened the door for Molly almost before the carriage had come to a stop at the Hall, and told her that the Squire had been eager for her return, having sent him to an upstairs window several times to check if the carriage was in sight on the hill-road between Hollingford and Hamley. Molly entered the drawing-room. The Squire was standing in the middle of the room waiting for her—in fact, he wanted to go out and meet her but held back because of a sense of proper conduct that kept him from moving around as he usually would in that house of mourning. He held a paper in his hands, which were shaking with excitement and emotion; and four or five open letters were spread out on a table nearby.
"It's all true," he began; "she's his wife, and he's her husband—was her husband—that's the word for it—was! Poor lad! poor lad! it's cost him a deal. Pray God, it wasn't my fault. Read this, my dear. It's a certificate. It's all regular—Osborne Hamley to Marie-Aimée Scherer,—parish-church and all, and witnessed. Oh, dear!" He sate down in the nearest chair and groaned. Molly took a seat by him, and read the legal paper, the perusal of which was not needed to convince her of the fact of the marriage. She held it in her hand after she had finished reading it, waiting for the Squire's next coherent words; for he kept talking to himself in broken sentences. "Ay, ay! that comes o' temper, and crabbedness. She was the only one as could,—and I've been worse since she was gone. Worse! worse! and see what it has come to! He was afraid of me—ay—afraid. That's the truth of it—afraid. And it made him keep all to himself, and care killed him. They may call it heart-disease—O my lad, my lad, I know better now; but it's too late—that's the sting of it—too late, too late!" He covered his face, and moved himself backward and forward till Molly could bear it no longer.
"It's all true," he started; "she's his wife, and he's her husband—was her husband—that's the word for it—was! Poor guy! Poor guy! It's cost him a lot. I hope it wasn't my fault. Read this, my dear. It's a certificate. It's all official—Osborne Hamley to Marie-Aimée Scherer,—parish-church and all, and witnessed. Oh, dear!" He sat down in the nearest chair and groaned. Molly took a seat next to him and read the legal document, which didn't need reading to convince her of the marriage. She held it in her hand after finishing, waiting for the Squire's next coherent words, as he continued to mumble to himself in broken sentences. "Yes, yes! That comes from temper and stubbornness. She was the only one who could,—and I've been worse since she left. Worse! Worse! And look at where it's gotten! He was scared of me—yes—scared. That's the truth—scared. And it made him keep everything to himself, and worry killed him. They might call it heart disease—Oh my boy, my boy, I know better now; but it's too late—that's the painful part—too late, too late!" He covered his face and rocked back and forth until Molly couldn't take it anymore.
"There are some letters," said she: "may I read any of them?" At another time she would not have asked; but she was driven to it now by her impatience of the speechless grief of the old man.
"There are some letters," she said. "Can I read any of them?" Normally, she wouldn't have asked, but she felt pushed to do so by her frustration with the old man's quiet sorrow.
"Ay, read 'em, read 'em," said he. "Maybe you can. I can only pick out a word here and there. I put 'em there for you to look at; and tell me what is in 'em."
"Yeah, read them, read them," he said. "Maybe you can. I can only pick out a word here and there. I put them there for you to check out; and tell me what's in them."
Molly's knowledge of written French of the present day was not so great as her knowledge of the French of the Mémoires de Sully, and neither the spelling nor the writing of the letters was of the best; but she managed to translate into good enough colloquial English some innocent sentences of love, and submission to Osborne's will—as if his judgment was infallible,—and of faith in his purposes,—little sentences in "little language" that went home to the Squire's heart. Perhaps if Molly had read French more easily she might not have translated them into such touching, homely, broken words. Here and there, there were expressions in English; these the hungry-hearted Squire had read while waiting for Molly's return. Every time she stopped, he said, "Go on." He kept his face shaded, and only repeated those two words at every pause. She got up to find some more of Aimée's letters. In examining the papers, she came upon one in particular. "Have you seen this, sir? This certificate of baptism" (reading aloud) "of Roger Stephen Osborne Hamley, born June 21, 183—, child of Osborne Hamley and Marie-Aimée his wife—"
Molly's understanding of modern written French wasn't as strong as her grasp of the French from the Mémoires de Sully, and her spelling and letter writing weren't the best either; but she was able to translate some simple love notes and expressions of submission to Osborne's will—almost as if his judgment was perfect—and of faith in his intentions—short phrases in "little language" that really touched the Squire's heart. Maybe if Molly had found French easier to read, she wouldn't have translated them into such heartfelt, simple, broken words. Occasionally, there were phrases in English; the eager Squire read these while waiting for Molly to come back. Every time she paused, he urged her with, "Go on." He kept his face shaded and repeated those two words at every break. She stood up to search for more of Aimée's letters. While going through the papers, she found one in particular. "Have you seen this, sir? This baptism certificate" (reading aloud) "for Roger Stephen Osborne Hamley, born June 21, 183—, child of Osborne Hamley and Marie-Aimée, his partner—
"Give it me," said the Squire, his voice breaking now, and stretching forth his eager hand. "'Roger,' that's me, 'Stephen,' that's my poor old father: he died when he was not so old as I am; but I've always thought on him as very old. He was main and fond of Osborne, when he was quite a little one. It's good of the lad to have thought on my father Stephen. Ay! that was his name. And Osborne—Osborne Hamley! One Osborne Hamley lies dead on his bed—and t'other—t'other I've never seen, and never heard on till to-day. He must be called Osborne, Molly. There is a Roger—there's two for that matter; but one is a good-for-nothing old man; and there's never an Osborne any more, unless this little thing is called Osborne; we'll have him here, and get a nurse for him; and make his mother comfortable for life in her own country. I'll keep this, Molly. You're a good lass for finding it. Osborne Hamley! And if God will give me grace, he shall never hear a cross word from me—never! He shan't be afeard of me. Oh, my Osborne, my Osborne" (he burst out), "do you know now how bitter and sore is my heart for every hard word as I ever spoke to you? Do you know now how I loved you—my boy—my boy?"
"Give it to me," said the Squire, his voice breaking now as he stretched out his eager hand. "'Roger,' that's me, 'Stephen,' that's my poor old father; he died when he was younger than I am now, but I always thought of him as very old. He was really fond of Osborne when he was just a little kid. It's nice of the boy to remember my father Stephen. Yeah! That was his name. And Osborne—Osborne Hamley! One Osborne Hamley lies dead in his bed—and the other—I've never seen him or even heard about him until today. He has to be called Osborne, Molly. There is a Roger—actually, there are two, for that matter; but one is a good-for-nothing old man; and there's no Osborne anymore, unless this little one is called Osborne; we’ll bring him here, and get a nurse for him; and make his mother comfortable for life in her own country. I’ll keep this, Molly. You’re a good girl for finding it. Osborne Hamley! And if God gives me grace, he’ll never hear a harsh word from me—never! He won’t be afraid of me. Oh, my Osborne, my Osborne" (he broke out), "do you now see how bitter and sore my heart is for every harsh word I ever said to you? Do you know how much I loved you—my boy—my boy?"
From the general tone of the letters, Molly doubted if the mother would consent, so easily as the Squire seemed to expect, to be parted from her child; the letters were not very wise, perhaps (though of this Molly never thought), but a heart full of love spoke tender words in every line. Still, it was not for Molly to talk of this doubt of hers just then; but rather to dwell on the probable graces and charms of the little Roger Stephen Osborne Hamley. She let the Squire exhaust himself in wondering as to the particulars of every event, helping him out in conjectures; and both of them, from their imperfect knowledge of possibilities, made the most curious, fantastic, and improbable guesses at the truth. And so that day passed over, and the night came.
From the overall tone of the letters, Molly doubted that the mother would agree, as easily as the Squire seemed to think, to be separated from her child; the letters might not have been very wise, perhaps (though Molly never considered this), but a heart full of love expressed tender words in every line. Still, it wasn't the right time for Molly to share her doubts; instead, she chose to focus on the likely graces and charms of little Roger Stephen Osborne Hamley. She let the Squire tire himself out wondering about the details of each event, helping him come up with theories; and both of them, with their limited understanding of the possibilities, made the most curious, fanciful, and unlikely guesses at the truth. And so that day passed, and night came.
There were not many people who had any claim to be invited to the funeral, and of these Mr. Gibson and the Squire's hereditary man of business had taken charge. But when Mr. Gibson came, early on the following morning, Molly referred the question to him, which had suggested itself to her mind, though apparently not to the Squire's, what intimation of her loss should be sent to the widow, living solitary near Winchester, watching and waiting, if not for his coming who lay dead in his distant home, at least for his letters. One from her had already come, in her foreign handwriting, to the post-office to which all her communications were usually sent, but of course they at the Hall knew nothing of this.
There weren't many people who had the right to be invited to the funeral, and of those, Mr. Gibson and the Squire's long-time business advisor were in charge. But when Mr. Gibson arrived early the next morning, Molly brought up a question that had been on her mind, which apparently hadn't crossed the Squire’s mind: what message about her loss should be sent to the widow, who lived alone near Winchester, waiting and watching, if not for the arrival of the man who lay dead far away, then at least for his letters. One letter from her had already arrived, written in her foreign hand, at the post office where all her correspondence was typically sent, but of course, the people at the Hall had no idea about this.
"She must be told," said Mr. Gibson, musing.
"She needs to be told," Mr. Gibson said, deep in thought.
"Yes, she must," replied his daughter. "But how?"
"Yes, she has to," replied his daughter. "But how?"
"A day or two of waiting will do no harm," said he, almost as if he was anxious to delay the solution of the problem. "It will make her anxious, poor thing, and all sorts of gloomy possibilities will suggest themselves to her mind—amongst them the truth; it will be a kind of preparation."
“A day or two of waiting won't hurt,” he said, almost as if he wanted to put off solving the problem. “It'll make her worry, poor thing, and all kinds of dark thoughts will cross her mind—including the truth; it’ll be a sort of preparation.”
"For what? Something must be done at last," said Molly.
"For what? Something has to be done finally," said Molly.
"Yes; true. Suppose you write, and say he's very ill; write to-morrow. I daresay they've indulged themselves in daily postage, and then she'll have had three days' silence. You say how you come to know all you do about it; I think she ought to know he is very ill—in great danger, if you like: and you can follow it up next day with the full truth. I wouldn't worry the Squire about it. After the funeral we will have a talk about the child."
"Yes, that's right. Just write and say he's really sick; do it tomorrow. I bet they've been sending letters every day, and she'll have had three days of silence. You mention how you found out everything you know; I think she needs to know he's very sick—in serious danger, if you want to put it that way: and you can follow up the next day with the complete truth. I wouldn't stress the Squire about it. After the funeral, we’ll have a conversation about the child."
"She will never part with it," said Molly.
"She'll never let it go," said Molly.
"Whew! Till I see the woman I can't tell," said her father; "some women would. It will be well provided for, according to what you say. And she is a foreigner, and may very likely wish to go back to her own people and kindred. There's much to be said on both sides."
"Whew! I can't say until I see the woman," said her father; "some women might. It will be taken care of, based on what you're saying. And she's a foreigner, so she might really want to go back to her own people and family. There's a lot to consider on both sides."
"So you always say, papa. But in this case I think you'll find I'm right. I judge from her letters; but I think I'm right."
"So you always say, Dad. But in this case, I think you'll see I'm right. I can tell from her letters, and I believe I'm right."
"So you always say, daughter. Time will show. So the child is a boy? Mrs. Gibson told me particularly to ask. It will go far to reconciling her to Cynthia's dismissal of Roger. But indeed it is quite as well for both of them, though of course he will be a long time before he thinks so. They were not suited to each other. Poor Roger! It was hard work writing to him yesterday; and who knows what may have become of him! Well, well! one has to get through the world somehow. I'm glad, however, this little lad has turned up to be the heir. I shouldn't have liked the property to go to the Irish Hamleys, who are the next heirs, as Osborne once told me. Now write that letter, Molly, to the poor little Frenchwoman out yonder. It will prepare her for it; and we must think a bit how to spare her the shock, for Osborne's sake."
"So you always say, daughter. Time will tell. So the child is a boy? Mrs. Gibson specifically asked me to find out. That will help her come to terms with Cynthia's breakup with Roger. But honestly, it's probably for the best for both of them, although he won't realize that for a while. They weren't a good match. Poor Roger! Writing to him yesterday was tough, and who knows what might have happened to him! Well, well! You have to navigate life somehow. I'm glad this little guy turned out to be the heir. I wouldn't have wanted the property to go to the Irish Hamleys, who are next in line, as Osborne once told me. Now write that letter, Molly, to the poor little Frenchwoman out there. It will prepare her for it, and we need to think about how to soften the blow for Osborne's sake."
The writing this letter was rather difficult work for Molly, and she tore up two or three copies before she could manage it to her satisfaction; and at last, in despair of ever doing it better, she sent it off without re-reading it. The next day was easier; the fact of Osborne's death was told briefly and tenderly. But when this second letter was sent off, Molly's heart began to bleed for the poor creature, bereft of her husband, in a foreign land, and he at a distance from her, dead and buried without her ever having had the chance of printing his dear features on her memory by one last long lingering look. With her thoughts full of the unknown Aimée, Molly talked much about her that day to the Squire. He would listen for ever to any conjecture, however wild, about the grandchild, but perpetually winced away from all discourse about "the Frenchwoman," as he called her; not unkindly, but to his mind she was simply the Frenchwoman—chattering, dark-eyed, demonstrative, and possibly even rouged. He would treat her with respect as his son's widow, and would try even not to think upon the female inveiglement in which he believed. He would make her an allowance to the extent of his duty: but he hoped and trusted he might never be called upon to see her. His solicitor, Gibson, anybody and everybody, should be called upon to form a phalanx of defence against that danger.
Writing this letter was quite challenging for Molly, and she crumpled up two or three drafts before she finally got it right; in the end, feeling hopeless about doing better, she sent it off without reading it again. The next day was easier; the news of Osborne's death was shared in a brief and gentle way. But after sending this second letter, Molly's heart ached for the poor woman, left alone in a foreign country, with her husband dead and buried far away, without ever having had the chance to imprint his dear face in her memory with one last long look. With her thoughts filled with the unknown Aimée, Molly talked a lot about her that day to the Squire. He would listen indefinitely to any wild speculation about the granddaughter, but he consistently shied away from any talk about "the Frenchwoman," as he referred to her; not unkindly, but in his view, she was simply the Frenchwoman—chatty, dark-eyed, expressive, and perhaps even wearing makeup. He would treat her with respect as his son's widow, trying even not to dwell on the female manipulation he believed existed. He would provide her with a reasonable allowance as part of his duty, but he hoped he would never have to see her. His solicitor, Gibson, anyone and everyone, would be called to create a defense against that possibility.
And all this time a little young grey-eyed woman was making her way,—not towards him, but towards the dead son, whom as yet she believed to be her living husband. She knew she was acting in defiance of his expressed wish; but he had never dismayed her with any expression of his own fears about his health; and she, bright with life, had never contemplated death coming to fetch away one so beloved. He was ill—very ill, the letter from the strange girl said that; but Aimée had nursed her parents, and knew what illness was. The French doctor had praised her skill and neat-handedness as a nurse, and even if she had been the clumsiest of women, was he not her husband—her all? And was she not his wife, whose place was by his pillow? So, without even as much reasoning as has been here given, Aimée made her preparations, swallowing down the tears that would overflow her eyes, and drop into the little trunk she was packing so neatly. And by her side, on the ground, sate the child, now nearly two years old; and for him Aimée had always a smile and a cheerful word. Her servant loved her and trusted her; and the woman was of an age to have had experience of humankind. Aimée had told her that her husband was ill, and the servant had known enough of the household history to be aware that as yet Aimée was not his acknowledged wife. But she sympathized with the prompt decision of her mistress to go to him directly, wherever he was. Caution comes from education of one kind or another, and Aimée was not dismayed by warnings; only the woman pleaded hard for the child to be left. "He was such company," she said; "and he would so tire his mother in her journeyings; and maybe his father would be too ill to see him." To which Aimée replied, "Good company for you, but better for me. A woman is never tired with carrying her own child" (which was not true; but there was sufficient truth in it to make it believed by both mistress and servant), "and if Monsieur could care for anything, he would rejoice to hear the babble of his little son." So Aimée caught the evening coach to London at the nearest cross-road, Martha standing by as chaperon and friend to see her off, and handing her in the large lusty child, already crowing with delight at the sight of the horses. There was a "lingerie" shop, kept by a Frenchwoman, whose acquaintance Aimée had made in the days when she was a London nursemaid, and thither she betook herself, rather than to an hotel, to spend the few night-hours that intervened before the Birmingham coach started at early morning. She slept or watched on a sofa in the parlour, for spare-bed there was none; but Madame Pauline came in betimes with a good cup of coffee for the mother, and of "soupe blanche" for the boy; and they went off again into the wide world, only thinking of, only seeking the "him," who was everything human to both. Aimée remembered the sound of the name of the village where Osborne had often told her that he alighted from the coach to walk home; and though she could never have spelt the strange uncouth word, yet she spoke it with pretty slow distinctness to the guard, asking him in her broken English when they should arrive there? Not till four o'clock. Alas! and what might happen before then! Once with him she would have no fear; she was sure that she could bring him round; but what might not happen before he was in her tender care? She was a very capable person in many ways, though so childish and innocent in others. She made up her mind to the course she should pursue when the coach set her down at Feversham. She asked for a man to carry her trunk, and show her the way to Hamley Hall.
And all this time, a young woman with grey eyes was making her way—not toward him, but toward the dead son, whom she still believed to be her living husband. She knew she was going against his wishes; however, he had never alarmed her with any mention of his fears about his health, and she, filled with life, had never imagined that death would come for someone so dear. He was sick—very sick, the letter from the strange girl said that; but Aimée had cared for her parents and understood what illness was. The French doctor had praised her skills and neatness as a nurse, and even if she had been clumsy, was he not her husband—her everything? And as his wife, wasn't her place by his side? So, without much thought at all, Aimée made her preparations, holding back the tears that threatened to spill over and fall into the little trunk she was packing so carefully. Beside her sat the child, now nearly two years old; for him, Aimée always had a smile and a cheerful word. Her servant loved and trusted her; and the woman was old enough to have experienced people. Aimée had told her that her husband was ill, and the servant knew enough about their household history to realize that Aimée was not yet his officially recognized wife. But she sympathized with her mistress’s quick decision to go to him, wherever he was. Caution comes from various kinds of experience, and Aimée was not deterred by warnings; the woman only pleaded hard for the child to be left behind. "He’s such good company," she said; "and he’ll tire his mother out during her journey; maybe his father will be too sick to see him." To this, Aimée replied, "Good company for you, but even better for me. A mother never gets tired of carrying her own child" (which wasn’t entirely true; but there was enough truth in it to convince both Aimée and her servant), "and if Monsieur could care for anything, he’d be delighted to hear the chatter of his little son." So Aimée took the evening coach to London at the nearest crossroads, with Martha standing by as a chaperone and friend to see her off, helping her with the big, healthy child, who was already delightful at the sight of the horses. There was a lingerie shop run by a Frenchwoman, whom Aimée had befriended when she worked as a nursemaid in London, and she went there instead of staying at a hotel to spend the few hours before the Birmingham coach left early in the morning. She either slept or waited on a sofa in the parlor, as there was no spare bed; but Madame Pauline came early with a good cup of coffee for Aimée and "soupe blanche" for the boy; and they headed out into the wide world, only thinking of, only seeking the "him," who meant everything to both of them. Aimée remembered the name of the village where Osborne had often told her he would get off the coach to walk home; although she could never spell the strange, awkward word, she pronounced it slowly and clearly to the guard, asking him in her broken English when they would arrive there. Not until four o'clock. Alas! what might happen before then! Once with him, she felt she would have no fear; she was confident she could help him recover; but what could happen before he was safe in her care? She was very capable in many ways, though childish and innocent in others. She decided what to do when the coach dropped her off at Feversham. She asked for a man to carry her trunk and show her the way to Hamley Hall.
"Hamley Hall!" said the innkeeper. "Eh! there's a deal o' trouble there just now."
"Hamley Hall!" said the innkeeper. "Oh! There’s a lot of trouble happening there right now."
"I know, I know," said she, hastening off after the wheelbarrow in which her trunk was going, and breathlessly struggling to keep up with it, her heavy child asleep in her arms. Her pulses beat all over her body; she could hardly see out of her eyes. To her, a foreigner, the drawn blinds of the house, when she came in sight of it, had no significance; she hurried, stumbled on.
"I know, I know," she said, rushing after the wheelbarrow carrying her trunk, desperately trying to keep up with it while holding her heavy sleeping child in her arms. Her heart raced all over her body; she could barely see. To her, a stranger, the closed blinds of the house had no meaning when she spotted it; she hurried on, stumbling forward.
"Back door or front, missus?" asked the boots from the inn.
"Back door or front, ma'am?" asked the boots from the inn.
"The most nearest," said she. And the front door was "the most nearest." Molly was sitting with the Squire in the darkened drawing-room, reading out her translations of Aimée's letters to her husband. The Squire was never weary of hearing them; the very sound of Molly's voice soothed and comforted him, it was so sweet and low. And he pulled her up, much as a child does, if on a second reading of the same letter she substituted one word for another. The house was very still this afternoon,—still as it had been now for several days; every servant in it, however needlessly, moving about on tiptoe, speaking below the breath, and shutting doors as softly as might be. The nearest noise or stir of active life was that of the rooks in the trees, who were beginning their spring chatter of business. Suddenly, through this quiet, there came a ring at the front-door bell that sounded, and went on sounding, through the house, pulled by an ignorant vigorous hand. Molly stopped reading; she and the Squire looked at each other in surprised dismay. Perhaps a thought of Roger's sudden (and impossible) return was in the mind of each; but neither spoke. They heard Robinson hurrying to answer the unwonted summons. They listened; but they heard no more. There was little more to hear. When the old servant opened the door, a lady with a child in her arms stood there. She gasped out her ready-prepared English sentence,—
"The closest," she said. And the front door was "the closest." Molly was sitting with the Squire in the dimly lit drawing room, reading her translations of Aimée's letters to her husband. The Squire never tired of listening to them; the sound of Molly's voice soothed and comforted him, so sweet and soft. He would correct her, just like a child, if she changed a word on the second reading of the same letter. The house was very quiet this afternoon—quiet as it had been for several days; every servant in it, even unnecessarily, walked around on tiptoe, speaking softly, and closing doors as quietly as possible. The closest noise or sign of life was the rooks in the trees, beginning their spring chatter about business. Suddenly, breaking the silence, the front-door bell rang continuously, pulled by an uninformed but strong hand. Molly stopped reading; she and the Squire exchanged surprised looks of dismay. Perhaps the thought of Roger's sudden (and impossible) return crossed both their minds, but neither said anything. They heard Robinson rushing to answer the unexpected call. They listened, but they heard nothing more. There wasn't much more to hear. When the old servant opened the door, a lady with a child in her arms stood there. She gasped out her ready-prepared English sentence,—
"Can I see Mr. Osborne Hamley? He is ill, I know; but I am his wife."
"Can I see Mr. Osborne Hamley? I know he’s sick, but I’m his wife."
Robinson had been aware that there was some mystery, long suspected by the servants, and come to light at last to the master,—he had guessed that there was a young woman in the case; but when she stood there before him, asking for her dead husband as if he were living, any presence of mind Robinson might have had forsook him; he could not tell her the truth,—he could only leave the door open, and say to her, "Wait awhile, I'll come back," and betake himself to the drawing-room where Molly was, he knew. He went up to her in a flutter and a hurry, and whispered something to her which turned her white with dismay.
Robinson had been aware that there was some mystery, long suspected by the staff, and finally revealed to the master. He had guessed there was a young woman involved; but when she stood there in front of him, asking for her dead husband as if he were still alive, any composure Robinson might have had completely left him. He couldn’t tell her the truth—he could only leave the door open and say to her, "Wait a bit, I'll be back," then head to the drawing room where he knew Molly was. He approached her in a flurry and whispered something that made her go pale with shock.
"What is it? What is it?" said the Squire, trembling with excitement. "Don't keep it from me. I can bear it. Roger—"
"What is it? What is it?" the Squire said, trembling with excitement. "Don't hold it back from me. I can handle it. Roger—
They both thought he was going to faint; he had risen up and come close to Molly; suspense would be worse than anything.
They both thought he was going to pass out; he had stood up and moved close to Molly; the suspense would be worse than anything.
"Mrs. Osborne Hamley is here," said Molly. "I wrote to tell her her husband was very ill, and she has come."
"Mrs. Osborne Hamley is here," said Molly. "I wrote to let her know her husband is very sick, and she has come."
"She does not know what has happened, seemingly," said Robinson.
"She doesn't really know what's happened, it seems," Robinson said.
"I can't see her—I can't see her," said the Squire, shrinking away into a corner. "You will go, Molly, won't you? You'll go."
"I can't see her—I can't see her," said the Squire, backing into a corner. "You will go, Molly, won't you? You'll go."
Molly stood for a moment or two, irresolute. She, too, shrank from the interview. Robinson put in his word: "She looks but a weakly thing, and has carried a big baby, choose how far, I didn't stop to ask."
Molly stood there for a minute, unsure. She also hesitated about the meeting. Robinson spoke up: "She seems pretty fragile and has carried a big baby, no matter how far, I didn't bother to ask."
At this instant the door softly opened, and right into the midst of them came the little figure in grey, looking ready to fall with the weight of her child.
At that moment, the door quietly opened, and right in the middle of them came the small figure in grey, looking ready to collapse under the weight of her child.
"You are Molly," said she, not seeing the Squire at once. "The lady who wrote the letter; he spoke of you sometimes. You will let me go to him."
"You’re Molly," she said, not noticing the Squire right away. "The woman who wrote the letter; he mentioned you a few times. You’ll let me see him."
Molly did not answer, except that at such moments the eyes speak solemnly and comprehensively. Aimée read their meaning. All she said was,—"He is not—oh, my husband—my husband!" Her arms relaxed, her figure swayed, the child screamed and held out his arms for help. That help was given him by his grandfather, just before Aimée fell senseless on the floor.
Molly didn’t say anything, but at moments like that, eyes communicate deeply and clearly. Aimée understood what they meant. All she said was, “He is not—oh, my husband—my husband!” Her arms went limp, her body wavered, the child cried out and reached for help. That help came from his grandfather, just before Aimée collapsed unconscious on the floor.
"Maman, maman!" cried the little fellow, now striving and fighting to get back to her, where she lay; he fought so lustily that the Squire had to put him down, and he crawled to the poor inanimate body, behind which sat Molly, holding the head; whilst Robinson rushed away for water, wine, and more womankind.
"Mom, mom!" cried the little boy, now struggling and fighting to get back to her, where she was lying; he fought so hard that the Squire had to set him down, and he crawled to the poor lifeless body, behind which sat Molly, holding the head; while Robinson dashed away for water, wine, and more women.
"Poor thing, poor thing!" said the Squire, bending over her, and crying afresh over her suffering. "She is but young, Molly, and she must ha' loved him dearly."
"Poor thing, poor thing!" said the Squire, leaning over her and crying again for her pain. "She's so young, Molly, and she must have loved him a lot."
"To be sure!" said Molly, quickly. She was untying the bonnet, and taking off the worn, but neatly mended gloves; there was the soft luxuriant black hair, shading the pale, innocent face,—the little notable-looking brown hands, with the wedding-ring for sole ornament. The child clustered his fingers round one of hers, and nestled up against her with his plaintive cry, getting more and more into a burst of wailing: "Maman, maman!" At the growing acuteness of his imploring, her hand moved, her lips quivered, consciousness came partially back. She did not open her eyes, but great heavy tears stole out from beneath her eyelashes. Molly held her head against her own breast; and they tried to give her wine,—which she shrank from—water, which she did not reject; that was all. At last she tried to speak. "Take me away," she said, "into the dark. Leave me alone."
"Absolutely!" Molly replied quickly. She was untying her bonnet and taking off her worn but neatly mended gloves; her soft, luxurious black hair framed her pale, innocent face. Her little, notable-looking brown hands had just a wedding ring as their only adornment. The child wrapped his fingers around one of hers and snuggled up against her with a sad cry, escalating into a burst of wailing: "Maman, maman!" As his pleading grew sharper, her hand moved, her lips trembled, and her awareness started to return. She didn’t open her eyes, but heavy tears began to flow from beneath her eyelashes. Molly rested her head against her chest, and they tried to give her wine— which she rejected— and water, which she accepted; that was all. Finally, she attempted to speak. "Take me away," she said, "into the dark. Leave me alone."
So Molly and the woman lifted her up and carried her away, and laid her on the bed, in the best bed-chamber in the house, and darkened the already shaded light. She was like an unconscious corpse herself, in that she offered neither assistance nor resistance to all that they were doing. But just before Molly was leaving the room to take up her watch outside the door, she felt rather than heard that Aimée spoke to her.
So Molly and the woman picked her up and carried her away, laying her on the bed in the best room in the house, and dimmed the already low light. She was like an unconscious corpse, in that she didn’t help or resist anything they were doing. Just before Molly left the room to take her watch outside the door, she felt, more than heard, that Aimée spoke to her.
"Food—bread and milk for baby." But when they brought her food herself, she only shrank away and turned her face to the wall without a word. In the hurry, the child had been left with Robinson and the Squire. For some unknown, but most fortunate reason, he took a dislike to Robinson's red face and hoarse voice, and showed a most decided preference for his grandfather. When Molly came down she found the Squire feeding the child, with more of peace upon his face than there had been for all these days. The boy was every now and then leaving off taking his bread and milk to show his dislike to Robinson by word and gesture: a proceeding which only amused the old servant, while it highly delighted the more favoured Squire.
"Food—bread and milk for the baby." But when they brought her food, she just recoiled and turned her face to the wall without saying a word. In the rush, the child had been left with Robinson and the Squire. For some unknown but very lucky reason, he didn’t like Robinson's red face and hoarse voice, and he definitely preferred his grandfather. When Molly came downstairs, she found the Squire feeding the child, looking more at peace than he had in all these days. The boy kept stopping from eating his bread and milk to show his dislike for Robinson through words and gestures, which only amused the old servant and greatly pleased the Squire.
"She is lying very still, but she will neither speak nor eat. I don't even think she is crying," said Molly, volunteering this account, for the Squire was for the moment too much absorbed in his grandson to ask many questions.
"She is lying very still, but she won't speak or eat. I don't even think she's crying," said Molly, sharing her observation, as the Squire was too focused on his grandson at that moment to ask many questions.
Robinson put in his word: "Dick Hayward, he's Boots at the Hamley Arms, says the coach she come by started at five this morning from London, and the passengers said she'd been crying a deal on the road, when she thought folks were not noticing; and she never came in to meals with the rest, but stopped feeding her child."
Robinson spoke up: "Dick Hayward, who's the Boots at the Hamley Arms, says the coach that left at five this morning from London had passengers who noticed she was crying a lot on the way, especially when she thought nobody was watching; and she didn’t join the others for meals, but kept feeding her child instead."
"She'll be tired out; we must let her rest," said the Squire. "And I do believe this little chap is going to sleep in my arms. God bless him."
"She'll be exhausted; we should let her rest," said the Squire. "And I really think this little guy is going to fall asleep in my arms. God bless him."
But Molly stole out, and sent off a lad to Hollingford with a note to her father. Her heart had warmed towards the poor stranger, and she felt uncertain as to what ought to be the course pursued in her case.
But Molly quietly slipped out and sent a boy to Hollingford with a note to her father. Her heart had warmed to the poor stranger, and she felt unsure about what the right course of action would be in her situation.
She went up from time to time to look at the girl, scarce older than herself, who lay there with her eyes open, but as motionless as death. She softly covered her over, and let her feel the sympathetic presence from time to time; and that was all she was allowed to do. The Squire was curiously absorbed in the child, but Molly's supreme tenderness was for the mother. Not but what she admired the sturdy, gallant, healthy little fellow, whose every limb, and square inch of clothing, showed the tender and thrifty care that had been taken of him. By-and-by the Squire said in a whisper,—
She went up every now and then to check on the girl, barely older than herself, who lay there with her eyes open, but as still as death. She gently covered her up and let her sense her caring presence from time to time; that was all she was allowed to do. The Squire was deeply focused on the child, but Molly's greatest affection was for the mother. Not that she didn’t admire the strong, brave, healthy little boy, whose every limb and inch of clothing showed the careful and loving attention that had been given to him. After a while, the Squire said in a whisper,
"She's not like a Frenchwoman, is she, Molly?"
"She’s not like a French woman, is she, Molly?"
"I don't know. I don't know what Frenchwomen are like. People say Cynthia is French."
"I have no idea. I don't know what French women are like. Some people say Cynthia is French."
"And she didn't look like a servant? We won't speak of Cynthia since she's served my Roger so. Why, I began to think, as soon as I could think after that, how I would make Roger and her happy, and have them married at once; and then came that letter! I never wanted her for a daughter-in-law, not I. But he did, it seems; and he wasn't one for wanting many things for himself. But it's all over now; only we won't talk of her; and maybe, as you say, she was more French than English. This poor thing looks like a gentlewoman, I think. I hope she's got friends who'll take care of her,—she can't be above twenty. I thought she must be older than my poor lad!"
"And she didn’t seem like a servant? We won’t mention Cynthia since she’s served my Roger so well. Well, I started to think, as soon as I could think after that, about how I would make Roger and her happy and get them married right away; and then that letter arrived! I never wanted her as a daughter-in-law, not at all. But it seems he did, and he wasn’t one to want many things for himself. But it's all over now; we just won’t talk about her; and maybe, as you said, she was more French than English. This poor girl looks like a gentlewoman, I think. I hope she has friends who will take care of her—she can’t be older than twenty. I thought she must be older than my poor boy!"
"She's a gentle, pretty creature," said Molly. "But—but I sometimes think it has killed her; she lies like one dead." And Molly could not keep from crying softly at the thought.
"She's a sweet, beautiful soul," said Molly. "But—but I sometimes feel like it's killed her; she lies there like she's gone." And Molly couldn't stop herself from softly crying at the thought.
"Nay, nay!" said the Squire. "It's not so easy to break one's heart. Sometimes I've wished it were. But one has to go on living—'all the appointed days,' as it says in the Bible. But we'll do our best for her. We'll not think of letting her go away till she's fit to travel."
"Nah, nah!" said the Squire. "It's not so easy to break a heart. Sometimes I've wished it was. But we have to keep living—'all the appointed days,' as it says in the Bible. But we'll do our best for her. We won't even think about letting her leave until she's ready to travel."
Molly wondered in her heart about this going away, on which the Squire seemed fully resolved. She was sure that he intended to keep the child; perhaps he had a legal right to do so;—but would the mother ever part from it? Her father, however, would solve the difficulty,—her father, whom she always looked to as so clear-seeing and experienced. She watched and waited for his coming. The February evening drew on; the child lay asleep in the Squire's arms till his grandfather grew tired, and laid him down on the sofa: the large square-cornered yellow sofa upon which Mrs. Hamley used to sit, supported by pillows in a half-reclining position. Since her time it had been placed against the wall, and had served merely as a piece of furniture to fill up the room. But once again a human figure was lying upon it; a little human creature, like a cherub in some old Italian picture. The Squire remembered his wife as he put the child down. He thought of her as he said to Molly,—
Molly was concerned about this departure, which the Squire seemed completely set on. She was sure he planned to keep the child; maybe he had a legal right to do so—but would the mother ever be willing to let go? Her father, though, would figure it out—her father, whom she always trusted to be so perceptive and wise. She watched and waited for him to arrive. The February evening fell; the child rested soundly in the Squire's arms until his grandfather grew tired and laid him down on the sofa—the large, square-cornered yellow sofa that Mrs. Hamley used to sit on, supported by pillows in a half-reclining position. Since her time, it had been pushed against the wall, merely serving as a piece of furniture to fill the room. But once again, a small human figure lay upon it; a little being, like a cherub from some old Italian painting. The Squire thought of his wife as he set the child down. He recalled her as he said to Molly, -
"How pleased she would have been!" But Molly thought of the poor young widow upstairs. Aimée was her "she" at the first moment. Presently,—but it seemed a long long time first,—she heard the quick prompt sounds which told of her father's arrival. In he came—to the room as yet only lighted by the fitful blaze of the fire.
"How happy she would have been!" But Molly thought of the poor young widow upstairs. Aimée was her "she" at first. Soon—but it felt like a really long time—she heard the quick, familiar sounds that indicated her father's arrival. In he came—to the room still only lit by the flickering firelight.
CHAPTER LIV.
MOLLY GIBSON'S WORTH IS DISCOVERED.
Mr. Gibson came in rubbing his hands after his frosty ride. Molly judged from the look in his eye that he had been fully informed of the present state of things at the Hall by some one. But he simply went up to and greeted the Squire, and waited to hear what was said to him. The Squire was fumbling at the taper on the writing-table, and before he answered much he lighted it, and signing to his friend to follow him, he went softly to the sofa and showed him the sleeping child, taking the utmost care not to arouse it by flare or sound.
Mr. Gibson walked in rubbing his hands after his chilly ride. Molly could tell from the look in his eyes that someone had filled him in on what was happening at the Hall. But he simply approached the Squire, greeted him, and waited to hear what he had to say. The Squire was fiddling with the candle on the writing table, and before he said much, he lit it. Then, he motioned for his friend to follow him and quietly went over to the sofa to show him the sleeping child, being extra careful not to wake it with any noise or light.
"Well! this is a fine young gentleman," said Mr. Gibson, returning to the fire rather sooner than the Squire expected. "And you've got the mother here, I understand. Mrs. Osborne Hamley, as we must call her, poor thing! It's a sad coming home to her; for I hear she knew nothing of his death." He spoke without exactly addressing any one, so that either Molly or the Squire might answer as they liked. The Squire said,—
"Well! this is a nice young man," said Mr. Gibson, coming back to the fire a bit earlier than the Squire expected. "And I hear you've got the mother here. Mrs. Osborne Hamley, as we have to call her, poor thing! It's a tough homecoming for her; I've heard she didn’t know anything about his death." He spoke without directly addressing anyone, allowing either Molly or the Squire to respond as they wished. The Squire said,—
"Yes! She's felt it a terrible shock. She's upstairs in the best bedroom. I should like you to see her, Gibson, if she'll let you. We must do our duty by her, for my poor lad's sake. I wish he could have seen his boy lying there; I do. I daresay it preyed on him to have to keep it all to himself. He might ha' known me, though. He might ha' known my bark was waur than my bite. It's all over now, though; and God forgive me if I was too sharp. I'm punished now."
"Yes! She’s really shaken up. She’s upstairs in the best bedroom. I’d like you to see her, Gibson, if she’s up for it. We need to take care of her, for my poor boy’s sake. I wish he could have seen his son lying there; I really do. I bet it weighed on him to keep it all to himself. He might have recognized me, though. He might have known that my bark was worse than my bite. That’s all behind us now, though; and God forgive me if I was too harsh. I’m paying for it now."
Molly grew impatient on the mother's behalf.
Molly became impatient for her mother.
"Papa, I feel as if she was very ill; perhaps worse than we think. Will you go and see her at once?"
"Papa, I feel like she’s very sick; maybe worse than we realize. Can you go see her right now?"
Mr. Gibson followed her upstairs, and the Squire came too, thinking that he would do his duty now, and even feeling some self-satisfaction at conquering his desire to stay with the child. They went into the room where she had been taken. She lay quite still in the same position as at first. Her eyes were open and tearless, fixed on the wall. Mr. Gibson spoke to her, but she did not answer; he lifted her hand to feel her pulse; she never noticed.
Mr. Gibson followed her upstairs, and the Squire came along too, thinking he should do his duty now and feeling a bit proud of himself for resisting the urge to stay with the child. They entered the room where she had been taken. She lay completely still in the same position as before. Her eyes were open and dry, staring at the wall. Mr. Gibson talked to her, but she didn’t respond; he lifted her hand to check her pulse, and she didn’t notice.
"Bring me some wine at once, and order some beef-tea," he said to Molly.
"Bring me some wine right away, and get some beef tea," he said to Molly.
But when he tried to put the wine into her mouth as she lay there on her side, she made no effort to receive or swallow it, and it ran out upon the pillow. Mr. Gibson left the room abruptly; Molly chafed the little inanimate hand; the Squire stood by in dumb dismay, touched in spite of himself by the death-in-life of one so young, and who must have been so much beloved.
But when he tried to pour the wine into her mouth as she lay on her side, she made no effort to accept or swallow it, and it spilled onto the pillow. Mr. Gibson left the room suddenly; Molly rubbed the small, lifeless hand; the Squire stood by in silent shock, moved despite himself by the death-in-life of someone so young, who must have been deeply loved.
Mr. Gibson came back two steps at a time; he was carrying the half-awakened child in his arms. He did not scruple to rouse him into yet further wakefulness—did not grieve to hear him begin to wail and cry. His eyes were on the figure upon the bed, which at that sound quivered all through; and when her child was laid at her back, and began caressingly to scramble yet closer, Aimée turned round, and took him in her arms, and lulled him and soothed him with the soft wont of mother's love.
Mr. Gibson came back down the stairs two at a time, carrying the still-sleepy child in his arms. He didn’t hesitate to wake him up even more—didn’t mind hearing him start to wail and cry. His eyes were on the figure on the bed, which trembled at that sound; and when he laid the child against her back, and he began to nuzzle even closer, Aimée turned around, took him in her arms, and comforted him with the gentle touch of a mother’s love.
Before she lost this faint consciousness, which was habit or instinct rather than thought, Mr. Gibson spoke to her in French. The child's one word of "maman" had given him this clue. It was the language sure to be most intelligible to her dulled brain; and as it happened,—only Mr. Gibson did not think of that—it was the language in which she had been commanded, and had learnt to obey.
Before she lost this faint awareness, which felt more like habit or instinct than actual thought, Mr. Gibson spoke to her in French. The child’s single word, “maman,” had given him this hint. It was the language that would be easiest for her foggy mind to understand; and coincidentally—though Mr. Gibson didn’t realize it—it was the language in which she had been instructed and had learned to follow.
Mr. Gibson's tongue was a little stiff at first, but by-and-by he spoke it with all his old readiness. He extorted from her short answers at first, then longer ones, and from time to time he plied her with little drops of wine, until some further nourishment should be at hand. Molly was struck by her father's low tones of comfort and sympathy, although she could not follow what was said quickly enough to catch the meaning of what passed.
Mr. Gibson's tongue was a bit stiff at first, but soon he spoke with all his usual ease. He initially got short answers from her, then longer ones, and occasionally he tempted her with small sips of wine while they waited for more food to arrive. Molly was moved by her father's soft tones of comfort and sympathy, even though she couldn't keep up with what was being said well enough to understand the meaning behind it all.
By-and-by, however, when her father had done all that he could, and they were once more downstairs, he told them more about her journey than they yet knew. The hurry, the sense of acting in defiance of a prohibition, the over-mastering anxiety, the broken night, and fatigue of the journey, had ill prepared her for the shock at last, and Mr. Gibson was seriously alarmed for the consequences. She had wandered strangely in her replies to him; he had perceived that she was wandering, and had made great efforts to recall her senses; but Mr. Gibson foresaw that some bodily illness was coming on, and stopped late that night, arranging many things with Molly and the Squire. One—the only—comfort arising from her state was the probability that she would be entirely unconscious by the morrow—the day of the funeral. Worn out by the contending emotions of the day, the Squire seemed now unable to look beyond the wrench and trial of the next twelve hours. He sate with his head in his hands, declining to go to bed, refusing to dwell on the thought of his grandchild—not three hours ago such a darling in his eyes. Mr. Gibson gave some instructions to one of the maid-servants as to the watch she was to keep by Mrs. Osborne Hamley, and insisted on Molly's going to bed. When she pleaded the apparent necessity of her staying up, he said,—
By and by, when her father had done everything he could and they were back downstairs, he shared more about her journey than they had known before. The rush, the feeling of defying a no-go, the overwhelming anxiety, the sleepless night, and the exhaustion from traveling had not prepared her for the shock that followed. Mr. Gibson was genuinely worried about the repercussions. She had responded strangely to him; he noticed she was unfocused and tried hard to bring her back to reality, but he sensed that she was on the verge of a physical breakdown. He stayed up late that night, coordinating several things with Molly and the Squire. The only bit of comfort from her condition was the likelihood that she would be completely unconscious by morning—the day of the funeral. Exhausted by the emotional turmoil of the day, the Squire seemed unable to think beyond the grief and struggle of the next twelve hours. He sat with his head in his hands, refusing to go to bed, and avoiding thoughts of his grandchild—not three hours ago, someone he cherished deeply. Mr. Gibson gave instructions to one of the maids about watching over Mrs. Osborne Hamley, and insisted that Molly go to bed. When she argued that it was necessary for her to stay up, he said,—
"Now, Molly, look how much less trouble the dear old Squire would give if he would obey orders. He is only adding to anxiety by indulging himself. One pardons everything to extreme grief, however. But you will have enough to do to occupy all your strength for days to come; and go to bed you must now. I only wish I saw my way as clearly through other things as I do to your nearest duty. I wish I'd never let Roger go wandering off; he'll wish it too, poor fellow! Did I tell you Cynthia is going off in hot haste to her uncle Kirkpatrick's? I suspect a visit to him will stand in lieu of going out to Russia as a governess."
"Now, Molly, just look at how much trouble the old Squire would avoid if he would just follow orders. He’s only adding to everyone’s stress by doing what he wants. You can forgive a lot in times of deep sorrow, though. But you’re going to have your hands full keeping up your strength in the coming days, and you really need to go to bed now. I only wish I understood everything else as clearly as I do your immediate responsibilities. I regret letting Roger wander off; he’ll regret it too, poor guy! Did I mention that Cynthia is rushing off to her uncle Kirkpatrick's? I have a feeling a visit to him will substitute for her moving to Russia to work as a governess."
"I am sure she was quite serious in wishing for that."
"I'm sure she was really serious about wanting that."
"Yes, yes! at the time. I've no doubt she thought she was sincere in intending to go. But the great thing was to get out of the unpleasantness of the present time and place; and uncle Kirkpatrick's will do this as effectually, and more pleasantly, than a situation at Nishni-Novgorod in an ice-palace."
"Yes, yes! Back then, I’m sure she really believed she was sincere about going. But the main thing was to escape the awkwardness of the current situation; and Uncle Kirkpatrick’s plan would accomplish this just as effectively, and more enjoyably, than being in an ice palace at Nishni-Novgorod."
He had given Molly's thoughts a turn, which was what he wanted to do. Molly could not help remembering Mr. Henderson, and his offer, and all the consequent hints; and wondering, and wishing—what did she wish? or had she been falling asleep? Before she had quite ascertained this point she was asleep in reality.
He had considered Molly's thoughts, which was exactly what he intended to do. Molly couldn't help but think about Mr. Henderson, his offer, and all the hints that followed; and she found herself wondering and wishing—what was she wishing for? Or had she been drifting off to sleep? Before she could figure that out, she had actually fallen asleep.
After this, long days passed over in a monotonous round of care; for no one seemed to think of Molly's leaving the Hall during the woeful illness that befell Mrs. Osborne Hamley. It was not that her father allowed her to take much active part in the nursing; the Squire gave him carte-blanche, and he engaged two efficient hospital nurses to watch over the unconscious Aimée; but Molly was needed to receive the finer directions as to her treatment and diet. It was not that she was wanted for the care of the little boy; the Squire was too jealous of the child's exclusive love for that, and one of the housemaids was employed in the actual physical charge of him; but he needed some one to listen to his incontinence of language, both when his passionate regret for his dead son came uppermost, and also when he had discovered some extraordinary charm in that son's child; and again when he was oppressed with the uncertainty of Aimée's long-continued illness. Molly was not so good or so bewitching a listener to ordinary conversation as Cynthia; but where her heart was interested her sympathy was deep and unfailing. In this case she only wished that the Squire could really feel that Aimée was not the encumbrance which he evidently considered her to be. Not that he would have acknowledged the fact, if it had been put before him in plain words. He fought against the dim consciousness of what was in his mind; he spoke repeatedly of patience when no one but himself was impatient; he would often say that when she grew better she must not be allowed to leave the Hall until she was perfectly strong, when no one was even contemplating the remotest chance of her leaving her child, excepting only himself. Molly once or twice asked her father if she might not speak to the Squire, and represent the hardship of sending her away—the improbability that she would consent to quit her boy, and so on; but Mr. Gibson only replied,—
After this, long days went by in a dull routine of care; no one seemed to think about Molly leaving the Hall during the sad illness that struck Mrs. Osborne Hamley. It wasn't that her father let her take much of an active role in the nursing; the Squire gave him carte-blanche, and he hired two skilled hospital nurses to look after the unconscious Aimée; but Molly was needed to follow the finer instructions regarding her treatment and diet. It wasn't that she was needed for taking care of the little boy; the Squire was too protective of the child's exclusive affection for that, and one of the housemaids was assigned to take care of him physically. But he needed someone to vent to, both when his intense grief for his deceased son welled up, and when he had found some extraordinary joy in that son's child, and also when he was burdened with the uncertainty of Aimée's prolonged illness. Molly wasn't as good or charming a listener for casual conversation as Cynthia was; but when her heart was engaged, her empathy was deep and unwavering. In this situation, she only wished the Squire could genuinely feel that Aimée wasn’t the burden he clearly thought she was. Not that he would have admitted it if it had been directly stated to him. He struggled against the faint awareness of what he really thought; he often talked about patience when no one else was impatient; he would frequently say that when she recovered, she wouldn’t be allowed to leave the Hall until she was completely well, even though no one was considering the slightest possibility of her leaving her child, except for him. Molly once or twice asked her father if she could talk to the Squire, to explain how unfair it was to send her away—the unlikelihood that she would agree to leave her boy, and so on; but Mr. Gibson only replied—
"Wait quietly. Time enough when nature and circumstance have had their chance, and have failed."
"Wait quietly. There will be plenty of time when nature and circumstances have had their chance and have let us down."
It was well that Molly was such a favourite with the old servants; for she had frequently to restrain and to control. To be sure, she had her father's authority to back her; and they were aware that where her own comfort, ease, or pleasure was concerned she never interfered, but submitted to their will. If the Squire had known of the want of attendance to which she submitted with the most perfect meekness, as far as she herself was the only sufferer, he would have gone into a towering rage. But Molly hardly thought of it, so anxious was she to do all she could for others, and to remember the various charges which her father gave her in his daily visits. Perhaps he did not spare her enough; she was willing and uncomplaining; but one day after Mrs. Osborne Hamley had "taken the turn," as the nurses called it, when she was lying weak as a new-born baby, but with her faculties all restored, and her fever gone,—when spring buds were blooming out, and spring birds sang merrily,—Molly answered to her father's sudden questioning that she felt unaccountably weary; that her head ached heavily, and that she was aware of a sluggishness of thought which it required a painful effort to overcome.
Molly was well-liked by the older servants, which was good because she often needed to hold back and manage things. Of course, she had her father's authority behind her, and they knew that when it came to her own comfort or happiness, she never interfered and went along with what they wanted. If the Squire had known how little attention she put up with while suffering in silence, he would have been extremely angry. But Molly hardly thought about it because she was so eager to help others and keep track of the different tasks her father assigned her during his daily visits. Maybe he didn’t push her hard enough; she was willing and didn't complain. However, one day after Mrs. Osborne Hamley had "taken the turn," as the nurses put it—lying there as weak as a newborn yet fully aware and without fever, with spring buds blooming and birds chirping joyfully—Molly responded to her father's sudden question that she felt inexplicably tired, that her head ached heavily, and that she felt a sluggishness in her thoughts that required painful effort to overcome.
"Don't go on," said Mr. Gibson, with a quick pang of anxiety, almost of remorse. "Lie down here—with your back to the light. I'll come back and see you before I go." And off he went in search of the Squire. He had a good long walk before he came upon Mr. Hamley in a field of spring wheat, where the women were weeding, his little grandson holding to his finger in the intervals of short walks of inquiry into the dirtiest places, which was all his sturdy little limbs could manage.
"Don't continue," Mr. Gibson said, feeling a quick rush of anxiety, almost guilt. "Lie down here—with your back to the light. I'll come back and check on you before I leave." And off he went to find the Squire. He had quite a long walk before he found Mr. Hamley in a field of spring wheat, where the women were weeding, his little grandson holding on to his finger during brief explorations of the dirtiest spots, which was all his sturdy little legs could manage.
"Well, Gibson, and how goes the patient? Better? I wish we could get her out of doors, such a fine day as it is. It would make her strong as soon as anything. I used to beg my poor lad to come out more. Maybe, I worried him; but the air is the finest thing for strengthening that I know of. Though, perhaps, she'll not thrive in English air as if she'd been born here; and she'll not be quite right till she gets back to her native place, wherever that is."
"Well, Gibson, how's the patient doing? Any better? I wish we could get her outside, especially on such a beautiful day. It would help her gain strength really quickly. I always urged my poor son to spend more time outdoors. Maybe I worried him, but fresh air is the best thing I know for building strength. Still, she might not thrive in English air as well as if she'd been born here, and she won’t feel completely right until she returns to her home, wherever that may be."
"I don't know. I begin to think we shall get her quite round here; and I don't know that she could be in a better place. But it's not about her. May I order the carriage for my Molly?" Mr. Gibson's voice sounded as if he was choking a little as he said these last words.
"I don't know. I'm starting to think we might actually get her feeling better here; and I don't know if there's a better place for her. But it's not about her. Can I call for the carriage for my Molly?" Mr. Gibson's voice sounded like he was choking a bit as he said those last words.
"To be sure," said the Squire, setting the child down. He had been holding him in his arms the last few minutes: but now he wanted all his eyes to look into Mr. Gibson's face. "I say," said he, catching hold of Mr. Gibson's arm, "what's the matter, man? Don't twitch up your face like that, but speak!"
"Sure," said the Squire, putting the child down. He had been holding him for the last few minutes, but now he wanted all his attention on Mr. Gibson's face. "Hey," he said, grabbing Mr. Gibson's arm, "what's wrong, man? Don't make that face, just talk!"
"Nothing's the matter," said Mr. Gibson, hastily. "Only I want her at home, under my own eye;" and he turned away to go to the house. But the Squire left his field and his weeders, and kept at Mr. Gibson's side. He wanted to speak, but his heart was so full he did not know what to say. "I say, Gibson," he got out at last, "your Molly is liker a child of mine than a stranger; and I reckon we've all on us been coming too hard upon her. You don't think there's much amiss, do you?"
"Everything's fine," Mr. Gibson said quickly. "I just want her at home, where I can keep an eye on her." Then he turned to head back to the house. But the Squire left his field and the workers and stayed by Mr. Gibson's side. He wanted to say something, but his heart was so heavy he didn't know what to express. "Hey, Gibson," he finally managed to say, "your Molly feels more like my child than a stranger; and I think we’ve all been too hard on her. You don’t think there’s anything really wrong, do you?"
"How can I tell?" said Mr. Gibson, almost savagely. But any hastiness of temper was instinctively understood by the Squire; and he was not offended, though he did not speak again till they reached the house. Then he went to order the carriage, and stood by sorrowful enough while the horses were being put in. He felt as if he should not know what to do without Molly; he had never known her value, he thought, till now. But he kept silence on this view of the case; which was a praiseworthy effort on the part of one who usually let by-standers see and hear as much of his passing feelings as if he had had a window in his breast. He stood by while Mr. Gibson helped the faintly-smiling, tearful Molly into the carriage. Then the Squire mounted on the step and kissed her hand; but when he tried to thank her and bless her, he broke down; and as soon as he was once more safely on the ground, Mr. Gibson cried out to the coachman to drive on. And so Molly left Hamley Hall. From time to time her father rode up to the window, and made some little cheerful and apparently careless remark. When they came within two miles of Hollingford, he put spurs to his horse, and rode briskly past the carriage windows, kissing his hand to the occupant as he did so. He went on to prepare her home for Molly: when she arrived Mrs. Gibson was ready to greet her. Mr. Gibson had given one or two of his bright, imperative orders, and Mrs. Gibson was feeling rather lonely "without either of her two dear girls at home," as she phrased it, to herself as well as to others.
"How can I even know?" Mr. Gibson said, almost angrily. But the Squire instinctively understood his frustration and wasn't offended, remaining silent until they reached the house. Then he went to arrange for the carriage and stood there looking rather sad while the horses were being hooked up. He felt like he wouldn’t know what to do without Molly; he realized he had never appreciated her value until now. Yet, he stayed quiet about this feeling, which was quite an achievement for someone who usually let others see and hear his emotions as if he had a window in his chest. He watched as Mr. Gibson helped the faintly-smiling, tearful Molly into the carriage. Then the Squire stepped up and kissed her hand; but when he attempted to thank her and bless her, he broke down. As soon as he was safely back on the ground, Mr. Gibson called out to the coachman to drive on. And so, Molly left Hamley Hall. Occasionally her father rode up to the window, making small cheerful and seemingly casual remarks. When they got within two miles of Hollingford, he spurred his horse and rode quickly past the carriage, blowing her a kiss as he did. He went ahead to prepare the house for Molly, and when she arrived, Mrs. Gibson was ready to greet her. Mr. Gibson had given a couple of his bright, commanding orders, and Mrs. Gibson was feeling a bit lonely “without either of her two dear girls at home,” as she put it, to herself as well as to others.
"Why, my sweet Molly, this is an unexpected pleasure. Only this morning I said to papa, 'When do you think we shall see our Molly back?' He did not say much—he never does, you know; but I am sure he thought directly of giving me this surprise, this pleasure. You're looking a little—what shall I call it? I remember such a pretty line of poetry, 'Oh, call her fair, not pale!'—so we'll call you fair."
"Why, my sweet Molly, this is such a nice surprise. Just this morning, I told dad, 'When do you think we’ll see our Molly again?' He didn’t say much—he never really does, you know—but I’m pretty sure he was already thinking about giving me this surprise, this joy. You look a little—what should I say? I remember a beautiful line of poetry, 'Oh, call her fair, not pale!'—so we’ll call you fair."
"You'd better not call her anything, but let her get to her own room and have a good rest as soon as possible. Haven't you got a trashy novel or two in the house? That's the literature to send her to sleep."
"You should definitely not call her anything, just let her get to her room and rest as soon as possible. Don’t you have a cheesy novel or two lying around? That’s the kind of reading that’ll help her fall asleep."
He did not leave her till he had seen her laid on a sofa in a darkened room, with some slight pretence of reading in her hand. Then he came away, leading his wife, who turned round at the door to kiss her hand to Molly, and make a little face of unwillingness to be dragged away.
He didn't leave her until he had seen her settled on a sofa in a darkened room, holding a book as if she were reading. Then he stepped away, leading his wife, who turned at the door to wave goodbye to Molly and made a little face of reluctance to be pulled away.
"Now, Hyacinth," said he, as he took his wife into the drawing-room, "she will need much care. She has been overworked, and I've been a fool. That's all. We must keep her from all worry and care,—but I won't answer for it that she'll not have an illness, for all that!"
"Now, Hyacinth," he said, as he led his wife into the living room, "she will need a lot of care. She’s been pushing herself too hard, and I’ve been an idiot. That’s it. We need to shield her from any stress or worry—but I can't guarantee she won’t get sick, despite that!"
"Poor thing! she does look worn out. She is something like me, her feelings are too much for her. But now she is come home she shall find us as cheerful as possible. I can answer for myself; and you really must brighten up your doleful face, my dear—nothing so bad for invalids as the appearance of depression in those around them. I have had such a pleasant letter from Cynthia to-day. Uncle Kirkpatrick really seems to make so much of her, he treats her just like a daughter; he has given her a ticket to the Concerts of Ancient Music; and Mr. Henderson has been to call on her, in spite of all that has gone before."
"Poor thing! She really does look exhausted. She's a lot like me; her emotions are just too overwhelming for her. But now that she's back home, we'll make sure to be as cheerful as we can. I can promise you that, and you really need to put a smile on your gloomy face, my dear—nothing is worse for sick people than seeing sadness in those around them. I got such a nice letter from Cynthia today. Uncle Kirkpatrick seems to care a lot about her; he treats her like his own daughter. He even got her a ticket to the Concerts of Ancient Music, and Mr. Henderson has come to visit her despite everything that's happened before."
For an instant, Mr. Gibson thought that it was easy enough for his wife to be cheerful, with the pleasant thoughts and evident anticipations she had in her mind, but a little more difficult for him to put off his doleful looks while his own child lay in a state of suffering and illness which might be the precursor of a still worse malady. But he was always a man for immediate action as soon as he had resolved on the course to be taken; and he knew that "some must watch, while some must sleep; so runs the world away."
For a moment, Mr. Gibson thought it was easy for his wife to be cheerful, with all the positive thoughts and clear hopes she had in her mind. But he found it harder to hide his gloomy expression while his own child was suffering from an illness that could lead to something even worse. However, he had always been someone who took immediate action as soon as he decided on what to do; and he understood that "some must watch, while some must sleep; so runs the world away."
The illness which he apprehended came upon Molly; not violently or acutely, so that there was any immediate danger to be dreaded; but making a long pull upon her strength, which seemed to lessen day by day, until at last her father feared that she might become a permanent invalid. There was nothing very decided or alarming to tell Cynthia, and Mrs. Gibson kept the dark side from her in her letters. "Molly was feeling the spring weather;" or "Molly had been a good deal overdone with her stay at the Hall, and was resting;" such little sentences told nothing of Molly's real state. But then, as Mrs. Gibson said to herself, it would be a pity to disturb Cynthia's pleasure by telling her much about Molly; indeed, there was not much to tell, one day was so like another. But it so happened that Lady Harriet,—who came whenever she could to sit awhile with Molly, at first against Mrs. Gibson's will, and afterwards with her full consent,—for reasons of her own, Lady Harriet wrote a letter to Cynthia, to which she was urged by Mrs. Gibson. It fell out in this manner:—One day, when Lady Harriet was sitting in the drawing-room for a few minutes after she had been with Molly, she said,—
The illness that he feared occurred with Molly; not in a harsh or urgent way, so there was no immediate danger to be alarmed about, but it gradually drained her strength, which seemed to diminish each day, until her father worried that she might become permanently unwell. There wasn’t anything severe or alarming to share with Cynthia, and Mrs. Gibson kept the negative aspects hidden from her in her letters. "Molly was enjoying the spring weather;" or "Molly had a bit too much to do during her stay at the Hall and was taking a break;" these simple sentences revealed nothing about Molly's true condition. But then, as Mrs. Gibson reasoned, it would be a shame to spoil Cynthia's happiness by telling her too much about Molly; in fact, there wasn't much to say, as each day felt so similar to the last. However, Lady Harriet—who visited whenever she could to spend some time with Molly, initially against Mrs. Gibson's wishes and later with her full approval—had her own reasons for writing a letter to Cynthia, encouraged by Mrs. Gibson. It happened like this: one day, after Lady Harriet had spent a few minutes in the drawing-room following her visit with Molly, she said, —
"Really, Clare, I spend so much time in your house that I'm going to establish a work-basket here. Mary has infected me with her notability, and I'm going to work mamma a footstool. It is to be a surprise; and so if I do it here she will know nothing about it. Only I cannot match the gold beads I want for the pansies in this dear little town; and Hollingford, who could send me down stars and planets if I asked him, I make no doubt, could no more match beads than—"
"Honestly, Clare, I spend so much time at your place that I'm going to set up a work basket here. Mary has inspired me with her talent, and I'm going to make Mom a footstool. It’s going to be a surprise, so if I work on it here, she won’t find out. The only problem is I can’t find the gold beads I need for the pansies in this adorable little town; and Hollingford, who could probably send me down stars and planets if I asked, I’m sure, wouldn’t be able to match those beads any better than—"
"My dear Lady Harriet! you forget Cynthia! Think what a pleasure it would be to her to do anything for you."
"My dear Lady Harriet! You're forgetting Cynthia! Just think how much joy it would bring her to do anything for you."
"Would it? Then she shall have plenty of it; but mind, it is you who have answered for her. She shall get me some wool too; how good I am to confer so much pleasure on a fellow-creature! But seriously, do you think I might write and give her a few commissions? Neither Agnes nor Mary are in town—"
"Would it? Then she’ll have plenty of it; but just so you know, you’re the one vouching for her. She should get me some wool too; how nice of me to bring so much joy to someone else! But seriously, do you think I should write to her and give her a few tasks? Neither Agnes nor Mary are in town
"I am sure she would be delighted," said Mrs. Gibson, who also took into consideration the reflection of aristocratic honour that would fall upon Cynthia if she had a letter from Lady Harriet while at Mr. Kirkpatrick's. So she gave the address, and Lady Harriet wrote. All the first part of the letter was taken up with apology and commissions; but then, never doubting but that Cynthia was aware of Molly's state, she went on to say—
"I’m sure she would be thrilled," said Mrs. Gibson, who also considered the sense of aristocratic pride that would come to Cynthia if she received a letter from Lady Harriet while staying at Mr. Kirkpatrick's. So she provided the address, and Lady Harriet wrote. The beginning of the letter was filled with apologies and requests; but then, without a doubt that Cynthia knew about Molly's situation, she continued to say—
"I saw Molly this morning. Twice I have been forbidden admittance, as she was too ill to see any one out of her own family. I wish we could begin to perceive a change for the better; but she looks more fading every time, and I fear Mr. Gibson considers it a very anxious case."
"I saw Molly this morning. I've been told I can't visit her twice now because she's too sick to see anyone outside her family. I wish we could start seeing some improvement; but she looks weaker every time, and I worry that Mr. Gibson thinks it's a very serious situation."
The day but one after this letter was despatched, Cynthia walked into the drawing-room at home with as much apparent composure as if she had left it not an hour before. Mrs. Gibson was dozing, but believing herself to be reading; she had been with Molly the greater part of the morning, and now after her lunch, and the invalid's pretence of early dinner, she considered herself entitled to some repose. She started up as Cynthia came in:
The day after this letter was sent, Cynthia walked into the living room at home with as much calmness as if she hadn't left just an hour ago. Mrs. Gibson was dozing but thought she was reading; she had spent most of the morning with Molly, and now after her lunch and the sick person's early dinner, she felt entitled to a bit of rest. She jumped up as Cynthia entered:
"Cynthia! Dear child, where have you come from? Why in the world have you come? My poor nerves! My heart is quite fluttering; but, to be sure, it's no wonder with all this anxiety I have to undergo. Why have you come back?"
"Cynthia! Sweetheart, where have you been? Why on earth did you come back? My poor nerves! My heart is racing; but honestly, it’s no surprise with all this stress I've been dealing with. Why have you returned?"
"Because of the anxiety you speak of, mamma. I never knew,—you never told me how ill Molly was."
"Because of the anxiety you mentioned, Mom. I never knew—you never told me how sick Molly was."
"Nonsense! I beg your pardon, my dear, but it's really nonsense. Molly's illness is only nervous, Mr. Gibson says. A nervous fever; but you must remember nerves are mere fancy, and she's getting better. Such a pity for you to have left your uncle's. Who told you about Molly?"
"Nonsense! I’m sorry, my dear, but this is really nonsense. Mr. Gibson says Molly's illness is just nervous—it's a nervous fever. But you have to remember that nerves are just a figment of the imagination, and she's getting better. It’s such a shame you left your uncle's place. Who told you about Molly?"
"Lady Harriet. She wrote about some wool—"
"Lady Harriet. She wrote about some wool—"
"I know,—I know. But you might have known she always exaggerates things. Not but what I have been almost worn out with nursing. Perhaps, after all, it is a very good thing you have come, my dear; and now you shall come down into the dining-room and have some lunch, and tell me all the Hyde Park Street news—into my room,—don't go into yours yet—Molly is so sensitive to noise!"
"I know, I know. But you should have realized she always blows things out of proportion. That said, I have been pretty exhausted from nursing. Maybe it’s actually a good thing you came, my dear; now you can come down to the dining room and have some lunch, and catch me up on all the news from Hyde Park Street—let’s go to my room, don’t go to yours yet—Molly is really sensitive to noise!"
While Cynthia ate her lunch, Mrs. Gibson went on questioning. "And your aunt, how is her cold? And Helen, quite strong again? Margaretta as pretty as ever? The boys are at Harrow, I suppose? And my old favourite, Mr. Henderson?" She could not manage to slip in this last inquiry naturally; in spite of herself there was a change of tone, an accent of eagerness. Cynthia did not reply on the instant; she poured herself out some water with great deliberation, and then said,—
While Cynthia ate her lunch, Mrs. Gibson continued asking questions. "And how’s your aunt's cold? Is Helen feeling better? Is Margaretta as pretty as ever? The boys are at Harrow, I assume? And my old favorite, Mr. Henderson?" She struggled to ask this last question casually; despite herself, her tone changed, showing eagerness. Cynthia didn't answer right away; she poured herself some water slowly, and then said—
"My aunt is quite well; Helen is as strong as she ever is, and Margaretta very pretty. The boys are at Harrow, and I conclude that Mr. Henderson is enjoying his usual health, for he was to dine at my uncle's to-day."
"My aunt is doing well; Helen is as strong as ever, and Margaretta is very pretty. The boys are at Harrow, and I assume that Mr. Henderson is in his usual good health, since he was supposed to have dinner at my uncle's today."
"Take care, Cynthia. Look how you are cutting that gooseberry tart," said Mrs. Gibson, with sharp annoyance; not provoked by Cynthia's present action, although it gave excuse for a little vent of temper. "I can't think how you could come off in this sudden kind of way; I am sure it must have annoyed your uncle and aunt. I daresay they'll never ask you again."
"Be careful, Cynthia. Look at how you're cutting that gooseberry tart," said Mrs. Gibson, clearly annoyed; not really upset about what Cynthia was doing at that moment, but it gave her a chance to express her frustration. "I just can't believe you would act like this all of a sudden; I’m sure it must have irritated your uncle and aunt. I wouldn’t be surprised if they never invite you again."
"On the contrary, I am to go back there as soon as ever I can be easy to leave Molly."
"On the other hand, I need to go back there as soon as I can feel comfortable leaving Molly."
"'Easy to leave Molly.' Now that really is nonsense, and rather uncomplimentary to me, I must say: nursing her as I have been doing, daily, and almost nightly; for I have been wakened times out of number by Mr. Gibson getting up, and going to see if she had had her medicine properly."
"'Easy to leave Molly.' Now that's just ridiculous, and honestly a bit insulting to me, I have to say: taking care of her like I have been, every day and almost every night; because I've been woken up countless times by Mr. Gibson getting up to check if she took her medicine properly."
"I'm afraid she has been very ill?" asked Cynthia.
"I'm afraid she's been really sick?" asked Cynthia.
"Yes, she has, in one way; but not in another. It was what I call more a tedious, than an interesting illness. There was no immediate danger, but she lay much in the same state from day to day."
"Yes, she has, in one way; but not in another. It was what I consider more a boring than an interesting illness. There was no immediate danger, but she remained in pretty much the same condition from day to day."
"I wish I had known!" sighed Cynthia. "Do you think I might go and see her now?"
"I wish I had known!" sighed Cynthia. "Do you think I could go see her now?"
"I'll go and prepare her. You'll find her a good deal better than she has been. Ah; here's Mr. Gibson!" He came into the dining-room, hearing voices. Cynthia thought that he looked much older.
"I'll go get her ready. You'll see that she's much better than she was. Ah, here comes Mr. Gibson!" He walked into the dining room, hearing voices. Cynthia thought he looked a lot older.
"You here!" said he, coming forward to shake hands. "Why, how did you come?"
"You’re here!" he said, stepping forward to shake hands. "Wow, how did you get here?"
"By the 'Umpire.' I never knew Molly had been so ill, or I would have come directly." Her eyes were full of tears. Mr. Gibson was touched; he shook her hand again, and murmured, "You're a good girl, Cynthia."
"By the 'Umpire.' I had no idea Molly was so sick, or I would have come right away." Her eyes were filled with tears. Mr. Gibson was moved; he shook her hand again and said quietly, "You're a good girl, Cynthia."
"She's heard one of dear Lady Harriet's exaggerated accounts," said Mrs. Gibson, "and come straight off. I tell her it's very foolish, for Molly is a great deal better now."
"She’s heard one of dear Lady Harriet’s exaggerated stories," said Mrs. Gibson, "and came right over. I tell her it’s very silly because Molly is doing much better now."
"Very foolish," said Mr. Gibson, echoing his wife's words, but smiling at Cynthia. "But sometimes one likes foolish people for their folly, better than wise people for their wisdom."
"Very foolish," said Mr. Gibson, echoing his wife's words, but smiling at Cynthia. "But sometimes you prefer foolish people for their silliness, more than wise people for their wisdom."
"I am afraid folly always annoys me," said his wife. "However, Cynthia is here, and what is done, is done."
"I’m afraid foolishness always gets on my nerves," said his wife. "But, Cynthia is here, and what’s done is done."
"Very true, my dear. And now I'll run up and see my little girl, and tell her the good news. You'd better follow me in a couple of minutes." This to Cynthia.
"Absolutely, my dear. Now I'm going to go check on my little girl and share the good news with her. You should come in a couple of minutes." This to Cynthia.
Molly's delight at seeing her showed itself first in a few happy tears; and then in soft caresses and inarticulate sounds of love. Once or twice she began, "It is such a pleasure," and there she stopped short. But the eloquence of these five words sank deep into Cynthia's heart. She had returned just at the right time, when Molly wanted the gentle fillip of the society of a fresh and yet a familiar person. Cynthia's tact made her talkative or silent, gay or grave, as the varying humour of Molly required. She listened, too, with the semblance, if not the reality, of unwearied interest, to Molly's continual recurrence to all the time of distress and sorrow at Hamley Hall, and to the scenes which had then so deeply impressed themselves upon her susceptible nature. Cynthia instinctively knew that the repetition of all these painful recollections would ease the oppressed memory, which refused to dwell on anything but what had occurred at a time of feverish disturbance of health. So she never interrupted Molly, as Mrs. Gibson had so frequently done, with—"You told me all that before, my dear. Let us talk of something else;" or, "Really I cannot allow you to be always dwelling on painful thoughts. Try and be a little more cheerful. Youth is gay. You are young, and therefore you ought to be gay. That is put in a famous form of speech; I forget exactly what it is called."
Molly's joy at seeing her showed up first in a few happy tears, then in gentle hugs and sounds of affection. Once or twice she started, "It's such a pleasure," but then paused. However, the meaning behind those five words really touched Cynthia's heart. She had come back just at the right moment when Molly needed the comforting presence of someone both fresh and familiar. Cynthia’s sensitivity made her adjust her behavior—whether to be talkative or quiet, cheerful or serious—depending on Molly's mood. She also listened with genuine, if not endless, interest to Molly's repeated stories about the difficult times at Hamley Hall and the moments that had deeply affected her sensitive nature. Cynthia instinctively understood that revisiting these painful memories would help ease Molly’s heavy heart, which struggled to focus on anything but the turbulent period of her health. So, unlike Mrs. Gibson, who frequently interrupted Molly with comments like, “You’ve already told me all that, my dear. Let’s talk about something else,” or, “I really can’t let you keep dwelling on painful thoughts. Try to be a bit more cheerful. Youth is meant to be joyful. You’re young, so you should be cheerful. That’s a well-known saying, but I can’t remember exactly what it is.”
So Molly's health and spirits improved rapidly after Cynthia's return: and although she was likely to retain many of her invalid habits during the summer, she was able to take drives, and enjoy the fine weather; it was only her as yet tender spirits that required a little management. All the Hollingford people forgot that they had ever thought of her except as a darling of the town; and each in his or her way showed kind interest in her father's child. Miss Browning and Miss Phœbe considered it quite a privilege that they were allowed to see her a fortnight or three weeks before any one else; Mrs. Goodenough, spectacles on nose, stirred dainty messes in a silver saucepan for Molly's benefit; the Towers sent books, and forced fruit, and new caricatures, and strange and delicate poultry; humble patients of "the doctor," as Mr. Gibson was usually termed, left the earliest cauliflowers they could grow in their cottage gardens, with "their duty for Miss."
So Molly's health and spirits quickly got better after Cynthia returned. Even though she was likely to keep some of her sickly habits over the summer, she could go for drives and enjoy the nice weather; it was just her still-sensitive feelings that needed a bit of care. Everyone in Hollingford forgot that they had ever thought of her as anything but the town's sweetheart; each person, in their own way, showed genuine interest in her father's daughter. Miss Browning and Miss Phoebe felt it was quite an honor to see her a couple of weeks before anyone else; Mrs. Goodenough, with her glasses on her nose, mixed up tasty dishes in a silver saucepan just for Molly; the Towers sent books, and forced fruit, and new cartoons, and unusual and delicate poultry; humble patients of "the doctor," as Mr. Gibson was usually called, delivered the earliest cauliflowers they could grow in their cottage gardens, with "their regards for Miss."
And last of all, though strongest in regard, most piteously eager in interest, came Squire Hamley himself. When she was at the worst, he rode over every day to hear the smallest detail, facing even Mrs. Gibson (his abomination) if her husband was not at home, to ask and hear, and ask and hear, till the tears were unconsciously stealing down his cheeks. Every resource of his heart, or his house, or his lands was searched and tried, if it could bring a moment's pleasure to her; and whatever it might be that came from him, at her very worst time, it brought out a dim smile upon her face.
And lastly, even though he cared the most and was the most desperately interested, Squire Hamley came by. When she was at her lowest point, he rode over every day to hear every little detail, even facing Mrs. Gibson (whom he couldn't stand) if her husband wasn't home, to ask and listen, asking and listening until tears were unknowingly streaming down his cheeks. He searched high and low for every possible way to bring her a moment of joy; anything he did for her during her hardest times brought a faint smile to her face.
CHAPTER LV.
AN ABSENT LOVER RETURNS.
nd now it was late
June; and to Molly's and her father's extreme
urgency in pushing, and Mr. and Mrs. Kirkpatrick's affectionate
persistency in pulling, Cynthia had yielded, and had gone back to
finish her interrupted visit in London, but not before the bruit of
her previous sudden return to nurse Molly had told strongly in her
favour in the fluctuating opinion of the little town. Her affair with
Mr. Preston was thrust into the shade; while every one was speaking
of her warm heart. Under the gleam of Molly's recovery everything
assumed a rosy hue, as indeed became the time when actual roses were
fully in bloom.
Now it was late June, and due to Molly's and her father's urgent attempts to persuade, along with Mr. and Mrs. Kirkpatrick's affectionate persistence, Cynthia had agreed to return to complete her interrupted visit in London. This decision was bolstered by the positive buzz surrounding her earlier sudden return to care for Molly, which worked in her favor in the ever-changing views of the small town. Her involvement with Mr. Preston faded into the background while everyone praised her kind heart. With Molly's recovery, everything took on a rosy glow, just like the season when actual roses were in full bloom.
One morning Mrs. Gibson brought Molly a great basket of flowers, that had been sent from the Hall. Molly still breakfasted in bed, but she had just come down, and was now well enough to arrange the flowers for the drawing-room, and as she did so with these blossoms, she made some comments on each.
One morning, Mrs. Gibson brought Molly a big basket of flowers that had been sent from the Hall. Molly was still having breakfast in bed, but she had just come downstairs and was now well enough to arrange the flowers for the living room. As she arranged the blooms, she made some comments about each one.
"Ah! these white pinks! They were Mrs. Hamley's favourite flower; and so like her! This little bit of sweet briar, it quite scents the room. It has pricked my fingers, but never mind. Oh, mamma, look at this rose! I forget its name, but it is very rare, and grows up in the sheltered corner of the wall, near the mulberry-tree. Roger bought the tree for his mother with his own money when he was quite a boy; he showed it me, and made me notice it."
"Ah! These white pinks! They were Mrs. Hamley's favorite flower, and they remind me of her so much! This little bit of sweet briar really scents the room. It pricked my fingers, but that's okay. Oh, Mom, look at this rose! I can’t remember its name, but it’s really rare and grows in the sheltered corner of the wall, next to the mulberry tree. Roger bought that tree for his mom with his own money when he was just a kid; he pointed it out to me and made sure I noticed it."
"I daresay it was Roger who got it now. You heard papa say he had seen him yesterday."
"I bet it was Roger who got it now. You heard Dad say he saw him yesterday."
"No! Roger! Roger come home!" said Molly, turning first red, then very white.
"No! Roger! Roger, come home!" Molly said, her face first turning red, then very pale.
"Yes. Oh, I remember you had gone to bed before papa came in, and he was called off early to tiresome Mrs. Beale. Yes, Roger turned up at the Hall the day before yesterday."
"Yes. Oh, I remember you had gone to bed before Dad came in, and he was called away early to deal with annoying Mrs. Beale. Yes, Roger showed up at the Hall the day before yesterday."
But Molly leaned back against her chair, too faint to do more at the flowers for some time. She had been startled by the suddenness of the news. "Roger come home!"
But Molly leaned back in her chair, too weak to do anything more with the flowers for a while. She had been shocked by the suddenness of the news. "Roger's coming home!"
It happened that Mr. Gibson was unusually busy on this particular day, and he did not come home till late in the afternoon. But Molly kept her place in the drawing-room all the time, not even going to take her customary siesta, so anxious was she to hear everything about Roger's return, which as yet appeared to her almost incredible. But it was quite natural in reality; the long monotony of her illness had made her lose all count of time. When Roger left England, his idea was to coast round Africa on the eastern side until he reached the Cape; and thence to make what further journey or voyage might seem to him best in pursuit of his scientific objects. To Cape Town all his letters had been addressed of late; and there, two months before, he had received the intelligence of Osborne's death, as well as Cynthia's hasty letter of relinquishment. He did not consider that he was doing wrong in returning to England immediately, and reporting himself to the gentlemen who had sent him out, with a full explanation of the circumstances relating to Osborne's private marriage and sudden death. He offered, and they accepted his offer, to go out again for any time that they might think equivalent to the five months he was yet engaged to them for. They were most of them gentlemen of property, and saw the full importance of proving the marriage of an eldest son, and installing his child as the natural heir to a long-descended estate. This much information, but in a more condensed form, Mr. Gibson gave to Molly, in a very few minutes. She sat up on her sofa, looking very pretty with the flush on her cheeks, and the brightness in her eyes.
It turned out that Mr. Gibson was unusually busy that day, and he didn’t get home until late in the afternoon. But Molly stayed in the drawing room the whole time, not even going to take her usual nap, so anxious was she to hear everything about Roger's return, which still seemed almost unbelievable to her. However, it was quite understandable; the long stretch of her illness had made her lose track of time completely. When Roger left England, he planned to sail around Africa’s eastern coast until he reached the Cape, and then continue his journey as he saw fit for his scientific pursuits. He had been sending all his letters to Cape Town, and there, two months earlier, he had received the news of Osborne's death, along with Cynthia's hasty letter of resignation. He didn’t think he was doing anything wrong by returning to England right away and reporting back to the gentlemen who sent him out, providing a full explanation of the circumstances around Osborne's private marriage and sudden death. He offered, and they accepted, his proposal to go back out for any time they felt was equivalent to the five months he was still contracted for. Most of them were gentlemen of means and understood the importance of proving the marriage of an eldest son and establishing his child as the rightful heir to a long-established estate. Mr. Gibson shared this information, though in a more condensed way, with Molly in just a few minutes. She sat up on her sofa, looking lovely with a flush on her cheeks and sparkles in her eyes.
"Well!" said she, when her father stopped speaking.
"Well!" she said when her father stopped talking.
"Well! what?" asked he, playfully.
"Well! What?" he asked playfully.
"Oh! why, such a number of things. I've been waiting all day to ask you all about everything. How is he looking?"
"Oh! There are so many things. I've been waiting all day to ask you about everything. How does he look?"
"If a young man of twenty-four ever does take to growing taller, I should say that he was taller. As it is, I suppose it's only that he looks broader, stronger—more muscular."
"If a twenty-four-year-old ever does grow taller, I would say he looks taller. As it is, I guess it's just that he seems broader, stronger—more muscular."
"Oh! is he changed?" asked Molly, a little disturbed by this account.
"Oh! Has he changed?" asked Molly, feeling a bit unsettled by this news.
"No, not changed; and yet not the same. He's as brown as a berry for one thing; caught a little of the negro tinge, and a beard as fine and sweeping as my bay-mare's tail."
"No, not changed; and yet not the same. He's as brown as a berry for one thing; caught a bit of the African descent, and a beard as fine and flowing as my bay mare's tail."
"A beard! But go on, papa. Does he talk as he used to do? I should know his voice amongst ten thousand."
"A beard! But keep going, Dad. Does he talk like he used to? I would recognize his voice among ten thousand."
"I didn't catch any Hottentot twang, if that's what you mean. Nor did he say, 'Cæsar and Pompey berry much alike, 'specially Pompey,' which is the only specimen of negro language I can remember just at this moment."
"I didn't pick up any Hottentot accent, if that's what you're referring to. Nor did he say, 'Cæsar and Pompey are very much alike, especially Pompey,' which is the only example of Black dialect I can recall right now."
"And which I never could see the wit of," said Mrs. Gibson, who had come into the room after the conversation had begun; and did not understand what it was aiming at. Molly fidgeted; she wanted to go on with her questions and keep her father to definite and matter-of-fact answers, and she knew that when his wife chimed into a conversation, Mr. Gibson was very apt to find out that he must go about some necessary piece of business.
"And I could never see the point of that," said Mrs. Gibson, who had walked into the room after the conversation had started and didn’t understand what it was all about. Molly fidgeted; she wanted to continue her questions and get her father to give clear and straightforward answers, and she knew that when his wife joined in a conversation, Mr. Gibson was likely to realize he needed to attend to some important business.
"Tell me, how are they all getting on together?" It was an inquiry which she did not make in general before Mrs. Gibson, for Molly and her father had tacitly agreed to keep silence on what they knew or had observed, respecting the three who formed the present family at the Hall.
"Tell me, how is everyone getting along?" It was a question she usually didn't ask in front of Mrs. Gibson, as Molly and her father had silently agreed to stay quiet about what they knew or had noticed regarding the three who made up the current family at the Hall.
"Oh!" said Mr. Gibson, "Roger is evidently putting everything to rights in his firm, quiet way."
"Oh!" said Mr. Gibson, "Roger is clearly putting everything in order in his calm, steady way."
"'Things to rights.' Why, what's wrong?" asked Mrs. Gibson quickly. "The Squire and the French daughter-in-law don't get on well together, I suppose? I am always so glad Cynthia acted with the promptitude she did; it would have been very awkward for her to have been mixed up with all these complications. Poor Roger! to find himself supplanted by a child when he comes home!"
"'Things to rights.' Why, what's up?" asked Mrs. Gibson quickly. "The Squire and the French daughter-in-law aren’t getting along, I guess? I'm always so glad Cynthia acted as quickly as she did; it would have been really uncomfortable for her to be involved in all these issues. Poor Roger! To come home and find himself replaced by a kid!"
"You were not in the room, my dear, when I was telling Molly of the reasons for Roger's return; it was to put his brother's child at once into his rightful and legal place. So now, when he finds the work partly done to his hands, he is happy and gratified in proportion."
"You weren't in the room, my dear, when I was explaining to Molly why Roger returned; it was to put his brother's child right back into his rightful and legal place. So now, as he sees the work already partly done for him, he feels happy and satisfied accordingly."
"Then he is not much affected by Cynthia's breaking off her engagement?" (Mrs. Gibson could afford to call it an "engagement" now.) "I never did give him credit for very deep feelings."
"Then he's not really bothered by Cynthia ending their engagement?" (Mrs. Gibson could now call it an "engagement.") "I never thought he had very strong emotions."
"On the contrary, he feels it very acutely. He and I had a long talk about it, yesterday."
"On the contrary, he feels it very intensely. He and I had a long talk about it yesterday."
Both Molly and Mrs. Gibson would have liked to have heard something more about this conversation; but Mr. Gibson did not choose to go on with the subject. The only point which he disclosed was that Roger had insisted on his right to have a personal interview with Cynthia; and, on hearing that she was in London at present, had deferred any further explanation or expostulation by letter, preferring to await her return.
Both Molly and Mrs. Gibson would have liked to hear more about this conversation, but Mr. Gibson didn’t want to continue on the topic. The only thing he revealed was that Roger had insisted on his right to have a personal talk with Cynthia; and upon finding out that she was currently in London, he postponed any further explanation or protest by letter, choosing to wait for her return.
Molly went on with her questions on other subjects. "And Mrs. Osborne Hamley? How is she?"
Molly continued with her questions about other topics. "And Mrs. Osborne Hamley? How is she?"
"Wonderfully brightened up by Roger's presence. I don't think I've ever seen her smile before; but she gives him the sweetest smiles from time to time. They are evidently good friends; and she loses her strange startled look when she speaks to him. I suspect she has been quite aware of the Squire's wish that she should return to France; and has been hard put to it to decide whether to leave her child or not. The idea that she would have to make some such decision came upon her when she was completely shattered by grief and illness, and she hasn't had any one to consult as to her duty until Roger came, upon whom she has evidently firm reliance. He told me something of this himself."
"She really lights up when Roger is around. I don't think I've ever seen her smile before, but she gives him the sweetest smiles now and then. They’re clearly good friends, and she loses that odd, startled look when she talks to him. I think she’s been aware of the Squire’s wish for her to go back to France and has struggled to decide whether to leave her child. The thought of having to make such a decision hit her when she was completely overwhelmed by grief and illness, and she hasn’t had anyone to consult about her duty until Roger came along, someone she clearly trusts. He shared some of this with me himself."
"You seem to have had quite a long conversation with him, papa!"
"You seem to have had a pretty long chat with him, Dad!"
"Yes. I was going to see old Abraham, when the Squire called to me over the hedge, as I was jogging along. He told me the news; and there was no resisting his invitation to come back and lunch with them. Besides, one gets a great deal of meaning out of Roger's words; it didn't take so very long a time to hear this much."
"Yeah. I was on my way to see old Abraham when the Squire shouted to me over the hedge as I was walking by. He filled me in on the news, and I couldn’t say no to his invite to come back and have lunch with them. Plus, you can get a lot from what Roger said; it didn’t take that long to catch this much."
"I should think he would come and call upon us soon," said Mrs. Gibson to Molly, "and then we shall see how much we can manage to hear."
"I think he’ll come and visit us soon," Mrs. Gibson said to Molly, "and then we’ll see how much we can find out."
"Do you think he will, papa?" said Molly, more doubtfully. She remembered the last time he was in that very room, and the hopes with which he left it; and she fancied that she could see traces of this thought in her father's countenance at his wife's speech.
"Do you think he will, Dad?" Molly asked, sounding more uncertain. She recalled the last time he was in that same room and the hopes he had when he left; she imagined she could see hints of this thought on her father's face in response to her mother's words.
"I can't tell, my dear. Until he's quite convinced of Cynthia's intentions, it can't be very pleasant for him to come on mere visits of ceremony to the house in which he has known her; but he's one who will always do what he thinks right, whether pleasant or not."
"I can't say, my dear. Until he's fully convinced of Cynthia's intentions, it must be pretty uncomfortable for him to make just formal visits to the house where he has known her; but he's the type who will always do what he believes is right, regardless of whether it's enjoyable or not."
Mrs. Gibson could hardly wait till her husband had finished his sentence before she testified against a part of it.
Mrs. Gibson could hardly wait for her husband to finish his sentence before she testified against part of it.
"'Convinced of Cynthia's intentions!' I should think she had made them pretty clear! What more does the man want?"
"'Convinced of Cynthia's intentions!' I would say she made them pretty obvious! What else does the guy want?"
"He's not as yet convinced that the letter wasn't written in a fit of temporary feeling. I've told him that this was true; although I didn't feel it my place to explain to him the causes of that feeling. He believes that he can induce her to resume the former footing. I don't; and I've told him so; but, of course, he needs the full conviction that she alone can give him."
"He's still not sure that the letter wasn't written in a moment of temporary emotion. I've told him that's true; although I didn't think it was my place to explain the reasons behind that feeling. He believes that he can persuade her to go back to how things were before. I don't think that's possible, and I've told him that; but, of course, he needs the complete assurance that only she can provide."
"Poor Cynthia! My poor child!" said Mrs. Gibson, plaintively. "What she has exposed herself to by letting herself be over-persuaded by that man!"
"Poor Cynthia! My poor girl!" said Mrs. Gibson, sadly. "What she has put herself through by allowing that man to convince her!"
Mr. Gibson's eyes flashed fire. But he kept his lips tight closed; and only said, "'That man,' indeed!" quite below his breath.
Mr. Gibson's eyes burned with anger. But he kept his lips tightly closed; and only said, "'That man,' really!" just barely audible.
Molly, too, had been damped by an expression or two in her father's speech. "Mere visits of ceremony!" Was it so, indeed? A "mere visit of ceremony!" Whatever it was, the call was paid before many days were over. That he felt all the awkwardness of his position towards Mrs. Gibson—that he was in reality suffering pain all the time—was but too evident to Molly; but, of course, Mrs. Gibson saw nothing of this in her gratification at the proper respect paid to her by one whose name was in the newspapers that chronicled his return, and about whom already Lord Cumnor and the Towers family had been making inquiry.
Molly, too, was affected by a comment or two in her dad's speech. "Just a ceremony visit!" Was it really that? A "just a ceremony visit!" Whatever it was, the visit happened within a few days. It was clear to Molly that he felt awkward about how he was treating Mrs. Gibson—that he was genuinely feeling pain the whole time—but of course, Mrs. Gibson was too pleased with the proper respect shown to her by someone whose name was in the newspapers covering his return, and who Lord Cumnor and the Towers family had already started asking about.
Molly was sitting in her pretty white invalid's dress, half reading, half dreaming, for the June air was so clear and ambient, the garden so full of bloom, the trees so full of leaf, that reading by the open window was only a pretence at such a time; besides which, Mrs. Gibson continually interrupted her with remarks about the pattern of her worsted work. It was after lunch—orthodox calling time, when Maria ushered in Mr. Roger Hamley. Molly started up; and then stood shyly and quietly in her place while a bronzed, bearded, grave man came into the room, in whom she at first had to seek for the merry boyish face she knew by heart only two years ago. But months in the climates in which Roger had been travelling age as much as years in more temperate regions. And constant thought and anxiety while in daily peril of life deepen the lines of character upon the face. Moreover, the circumstances that had of late affected him personally were not of a nature to make him either buoyant or cheerful. But his voice was the same; that was the first point of the old friend Molly caught, when he addressed her in a tone far softer than he used in speaking conventional politenesses to her stepmother.
Molly was sitting in her nice white dress for those unable to walk, half reading, half daydreaming, because the June air was so clear and pleasant, the garden so full of flowers, and the trees so lush, that reading by the open window felt more like a pretense at that moment. On top of that, Mrs. Gibson kept interrupting her with comments about the pattern of her knitting. It was after lunch—typical visiting time—when Maria brought in Mr. Roger Hamley. Molly jumped up, then stood shyly and quietly in her spot as a tanned, bearded, serious man entered the room, and she had to look for the cheerful, boyish face she had memorized just two years ago. But the months Roger had spent traveling in different climates aged him as much as years would in milder places. Plus, constant worry and anxiety in life-or-death situations etched deeper lines into his face. Moreover, the recent developments in his life hadn’t exactly made him cheerful or lighthearted. But his voice was the same; that was the first thing Molly noticed about her old friend when he spoke to her in a much softer tone than the one he used for polite exchanges with her stepmother.
"I was so sorry to hear how ill you had been! You are looking but delicate!" letting his eyes rest upon her face with affectionate examination. Molly felt herself colour all over with the consciousness of his regard. To do something to put an end to it, she looked up, and showed him her beautiful soft grey eyes, which he never remembered to have noticed before. She smiled at him as she blushed still deeper, and said,—
"I was really sorry to hear you’ve been so sick! You look a bit fragile!" He let his eyes linger on her face with a warm gaze. Molly felt herself blush all over, aware of his attention. Wanting to do something to break the moment, she looked up and revealed her lovely soft grey eyes, which he realized he had never really noticed before. She smiled at him as she blushed even more, and said,—
"Oh! I am quite strong now to what I was. It would be a shame to be ill when everything is in its full summer beauty."
"Oh! I am so much stronger now than I used to be. It would be a shame to be sick when everything is at its peak summer beauty."
"I have heard how deeply we—I am indebted to you—my father can hardly praise you—"
"I've heard how much we—I owe you—my dad can hardly compliment you—
"Please don't," said Molly, the tears coming into her eyes in spite of herself. He seemed to understand her at once; he went on as if speaking to Mrs. Gibson: "Indeed, my little sister-in-law is never weary of talking about Monsieur le Docteur, as she calls your husband!"
"Please don't," said Molly, tears welling up in her eyes despite her efforts to hold them back. He seemed to get it right away; he continued as if he were talking to Mrs. Gibson: "Honestly, my little sister-in-law never gets tired of talking about Monsieur le Docteur, as she calls your husband!"
"I have not had the pleasure of making Mrs. Osborne Hamley's acquaintance yet," said Mrs. Gibson, suddenly aware of a duty which might have been expected from her, "and I must beg you to apologize to her for my remissness. But Molly has been such a care and anxiety to me—for, you know, I look upon her quite as my own child—that I really have not gone anywhere; excepting to the Towers, perhaps I should say, which is just like another home to me. And then I understood that Mrs. Osborne Hamley was thinking of returning to France before long? Still it was very remiss."
"I haven't had the chance to meet Mrs. Osborne Hamley yet," Mrs. Gibson said, suddenly realizing a responsibility she should have fulfilled. "Please apologize to her for my oversight. But Molly has been such a worry and concern for me—after all, I think of her as my own child—that I really haven't gone anywhere, except maybe to the Towers, which feels like another home to me. And then I heard that Mrs. Osborne Hamley was planning to go back to France soon? Still, that was definitely careless of me."
The little trap thus set for news of what might be going on in the Hamley family was quite successful. Roger answered her thus:—
The little trap she set to find out what was happening in the Hamley family worked pretty well. Roger replied to her like this:—
"I am sure Mrs. Osborne Hamley will be very glad to see any friends of the family, as soon as she is a little stronger. I hope she will not go back to France at all. She is an orphan, and I trust we shall induce her to remain with my father. But at present nothing is arranged." Then, as if glad to have got over his "visit of ceremony," he got up and took leave. When he was at the door he looked back, having, as he thought, a word more to say; but he quite forgot what it was, for he surprised Molly's intent gaze, and sudden confusion at discovery, and went away as soon as he could.
"I’m sure Mrs. Osborne Hamley will be really happy to see any family friends once she’s feeling a bit stronger. I hope she won’t go back to France at all. She’s an orphan, and I really hope we can convince her to stay with my father. But for now, nothing is set up." Then, as if relieved to have finished his "formal visit," he stood up and said his goodbyes. When he reached the door, he looked back, thinking he had one more thing to say; but he completely forgot what it was when he caught Molly’s focused gaze and her sudden embarrassment upon being noticed, so he left as quickly as he could.
"Poor Osborne was right!" said he. "She has grown into delicate fragrant beauty, just as he said she would: or is it the character which has formed her face? Now the next time I enter these doors, it will be to learn my fate!"
"Poor Osborne was right!" he said. "She has become a delicate, fragrant beauty, just like he said she would; or is it the character that has shaped her face? The next time I walk through these doors, it will be to find out my fate!"
Mr. Gibson had told his wife of Roger's desire to have a personal interview with Cynthia, rather with a view to her repeating what he said to her daughter. He did not see any exact necessity for this, it is true; but he thought it might be advisable that she should know all the truth in which she was concerned, and he told his wife this. But she took the affair into her own management, and, although she apparently agreed with Mr. Gibson, she never named the affair to Cynthia; all that she said to her was—
Mr. Gibson had told his wife about Roger wanting to have a personal conversation with Cynthia, mainly so she could share what he said with her daughter. He didn't really see why this was necessary, but he thought it could be smart for her to know the whole truth about the situation, and he mentioned this to his wife. However, she decided to handle it herself, and even though she seemed to agree with Mr. Gibson, she never brought it up to Cynthia; all she said to her was—
"Your old admirer, Roger Hamley, has come home in a great hurry, in consequence of poor dear Osborne's unexpected decease. He must have been rather surprised to find the widow and her little boy established at the Hall. He came to call here the other day, and made himself really rather agreeable, although his manners are not improved by the society he has kept on his travels. Still I prophesy he will be considered as a fashionable 'lion,' and perhaps the very uncouthness which jars against my sense of refinement, may even become admired in a scientific traveller, who has been into more desert places, and eaten more extraordinary food, than any other Englishman of the day. I suppose he has given up all chance of inheriting the estate, for I hear he talks of returning to Africa, and becoming a regular wanderer. Your name was not mentioned, but I believe he inquired about you from Mr. Gibson."
"Your old admirer, Roger Hamley, has rushed home because of poor dear Osborne's unexpected passing. He must have been quite surprised to find the widow and her little boy settled at the Hall. He came by the other day and actually managed to be somewhat charming, although his manners haven't improved from the company he's kept during his travels. Still, I predict he'll be seen as a fashionable 'lion,' and maybe the very awkwardness that clashes with my sense of refinement might even be admired in a scientific traveler who's been to more remote places and tried stranger foods than any other Englishman today. I guess he has given up any hope of inheriting the estate, since I hear he's talking about returning to Africa and becoming a full-time wanderer. Your name didn't come up, but I think he asked Mr. Gibson about you."
"There!" said she to herself, as she folded up and directed her letter; "that can't disturb her, or make her uncomfortable. And it's all the truth too, or very near it. Of course he'll want to see her when she comes back; but by that time I do hope Mr. Henderson will have proposed again, and that that affair will be all settled."
"There!" she said to herself as she folded and addressed her letter. "That won’t disturb her or make her uncomfortable. And it’s mostly the truth, too. Of course, he'll want to see her when she comes back, but by then I really hope Mr. Henderson will have proposed again and that everything will be all settled."
But Cynthia returned to Hollingford one Tuesday morning, and in answer to her mother's anxious inquiries on the subject, would only say that Mr. Henderson had not offered again. "Why should he? She had refused him once, and he did not know the reason of her refusal, at least one of the reasons. She did not know if she should have taken him if there had been no such person as Roger Hamley in the world. No! Uncle and aunt Kirkpatrick had never heard anything about Roger's offer,—nor had her cousins. She had always declared her wish to keep it a secret, and she had not mentioned it to any one, whatever other people might have done." Underneath this light and careless vein there were other feelings; but Mrs. Gibson was not one to probe beneath the surface. She had set her heart on Mr. Henderson's marrying Cynthia very early in their acquaintance; and to know, firstly, that the same wish had entered into his head, and that Roger's attachment to Cynthia, with its consequences, had been the obstacle; and secondly, that Cynthia herself with all the opportunities of propinquity which she had lately had, had failed to provoke a repetition of the offer,—was, as Mrs. Gibson said, "enough to provoke a saint." All the rest of the day she alluded to Cynthia as a disappointing and ungrateful daughter; Molly could not make out why, and resented it for Cynthia, until the latter said, bitterly, "Never mind, Molly. Mamma is only vexed because Mr.—because I have not come back an engaged young lady."
But Cynthia returned to Hollingford one Tuesday morning, and when her mother anxiously asked about it, she could only say that Mr. Henderson hadn’t asked her again. "Why would he? She turned him down once, and he didn’t know the reason for her refusal, at least not one of the reasons. She wondered if she would have accepted him if Roger Hamley didn’t exist. No! Uncle and Aunt Kirkpatrick hadn’t heard anything about Roger’s offer, nor had her cousins. She’d always said she wanted to keep it a secret, and she hadn’t mentioned it to anyone, no matter what others might have done." Beneath this light and carefree tone, there were deeper feelings; but Mrs. Gibson wasn’t one to dig deeper. She had hoped for Mr. Henderson to marry Cynthia from early on in their acquaintance; and to know, first, that he had the same wish and that Roger's feelings for Cynthia, along with their implications, were the obstacle; and second, that Cynthia, despite having many chances to connect lately, hadn't prompted him to propose again—was, as Mrs. Gibson said, "enough to provoke a saint." All day long, she referred to Cynthia as a disappointing and ungrateful daughter; Molly couldn’t figure out why and felt angry for Cynthia until the latter said, bitterly, "Never mind, Molly. Mom is just upset because Mr.—because I haven’t come back as an engaged young lady."
"Yes; and I am sure you might have done,—there's the ingratitude! I am not so unjust as to want you to do what you can't do!" said Mrs. Gibson, querulously.
"Yes; and I’m sure you could have done it—there’s the ingratitude! I’m not so unfair as to expect you to do what you can’t do!" said Mrs. Gibson, irritably.
"But where's the ingratitude, mamma? I'm very much tired, and perhaps that makes me stupid; but I cannot see the ingratitude." Cynthia spoke very wearily, leaning her head back on the sofa-cushions, as if she did not care to have an answer.
"But where’s the ingratitude, Mom? I'm really tired, and maybe that's making me slow; but I just don’t see the ingratitude." Cynthia said wearily, leaning her head back on the sofa cushions, as if she didn’t want an answer.
"Why, don't you see we are doing all we can for you; dressing you well, and sending you to London; and when you might relieve us of the expense of all this, you don't."
"Why don't you see that we’re doing everything we can for you? We’re getting you well-dressed and sending you to London, and when you could help us out with the cost of all this, you don’t."
"No! Cynthia, I will speak," said Molly, all crimson with indignation, and pushing away Cynthia's restraining hand. "I am sure papa does not feel, and does not mind, any expense he incurs about his daughters. And I know quite well that he does not wish us to marry, unless—" She faltered and stopped.
"No! Cynthia, I need to speak," Molly said, her face flushed with anger as she pushed Cynthia's hand away. "I'm certain that Dad doesn't care about the money he spends on us daughters. And I know he definitely doesn’t want us to marry, unless—" She hesitated and fell silent.
"Unless what?" said Mrs. Gibson, half-mocking.
"Unless what?" Mrs. Gibson said, half-mocking.
"Unless we love some one very dearly indeed," said Molly, in a low, firm tone.
"Unless we love someone very dearly," said Molly, in a low, firm tone.
"Well, after this tirade—really rather indelicate, I must say—I have done. I will neither help nor hinder any love-affairs of you two young ladies. In my days we were glad of the advice of our elders." And she left the room to put into fulfilment an idea which had just struck her: to write a confidential letter to Mrs. Kirkpatrick, giving her her version of Cynthia's "unfortunate entanglement," and "delicate sense of honour," and hints of her entire indifference to all the masculine portion of the world, Mr. Henderson being dexterously excluded from the category.
"Well, after this outburst—quite rude, I must say—I’m done. I won’t help or interfere in your love lives, you two young ladies. In my time, we appreciated the advice of our elders." And she left the room to act on an idea that had just come to her: to write a private letter to Mrs. Kirkpatrick, sharing her side of Cynthia's "unfortunate situation," and her "delicate sense of honor," along with hints about her complete indifference to all men, making sure to cleverly exclude Mr. Henderson from that group.
"Oh, dear!" said Molly, throwing herself back in a chair, with a sigh of relief, as Mrs. Gibson left the room; "how cross I do get since I've been ill! But I couldn't bear her to speak as if papa grudged you anything."
"Oh, no!" said Molly, collapsing into a chair with a sigh of relief as Mrs. Gibson exited the room. "I get so irritable since I've been sick! But I couldn't stand her speaking as if my dad resents you for anything."
"I'm sure he doesn't, Molly. You need not defend him on my account. But I'm sorry mamma still looks upon me as 'an encumbrance,' as the advertisements in The Times always call us unfortunate children. But I've been an encumbrance to her all my life. I'm getting very much into despair about everything, Molly. I shall try my luck in Russia. I've heard of a situation as English governess at Moscow, in a family owning whole provinces of land, and serfs by the hundred. I put off writing my letter till I came home; I shall be as much out of the way there as if I was married. Oh, dear! travelling all night isn't good for the spirits. How is Mr. Preston?"
"I'm sure he doesn't, Molly. You don't need to defend him for my sake. But I'm sorry that Mom still sees me as 'a burden,' like the ads in The Times always label us unfortunate kids. I've been a burden to her my whole life. I'm really starting to feel hopeless about everything, Molly. I'm considering trying my luck in Russia. I heard about a position as an English governess in Moscow, for a family that owns entire provinces and hundreds of serfs. I delayed writing my letter until I got home; I'll be just as much out of the way there as if I were married. Oh, dear! Traveling all night isn’t good for the spirits. How is Mr. Preston?"
"Oh, he has taken Cumnor Grange, three miles away, and he never comes in to the Hollingford tea-parties now. I saw him once in the street, but it's a question which of us tried the hardest to get out of the other's way."
"Oh, he’s rented Cumnor Grange, which is three miles away, and he never comes to the tea parties in Hollingford anymore. I saw him once on the street, but it was a toss-up as to which one of us tried harder to avoid the other."
"You've not said anything about Roger, yet."
"You haven't said anything about Roger yet."
"No; I didn't know if you would care to hear. He is very much older-looking; quite a strong grown-up man. And papa says he is much graver. Ask me any questions, if you want to know, but I have only seen him once."
"No; I wasn't sure if you'd want to hear. He looks a lot older; he's definitely a strong grown man. And Dad says he's much more serious. Feel free to ask me anything if you're curious, but I've only seen him once."
"I was in hopes he would have left the neighbourhood by this time. Mamma said he was going to travel again."
"I was hoping he would have left the neighborhood by now. Mom said he was going to travel again."
"I can't tell," said Molly. "I suppose you know," she continued, but hesitating a little before she spoke, "that he wishes to see you?"
"I can't say," Molly said. "I guess you know," she added, pausing slightly before continuing, "that he wants to see you?"
"No! I never heard. I wish he would have been satisfied with my letter. It was as decided as I could make it. If I say I won't see him, I wonder if his will or mine will be the strongest?"
"No! I never heard. I wish he would have been satisfied with my letter. It was as clear as I could make it. If I say I won't see him, I wonder whose will is stronger—his or mine?"
"His," said Molly. "But you must see him; you owe it to him. He will never be satisfied without it."
"His," Molly said. "But you have to see him; you owe it to him. He won't be satisfied without it."
"Suppose he talks me round into resuming the engagement? I should only break it off again."
"What if he convinces me to go back to the engagement? I would just end it again."
"Surely you can't be 'talked round' if your mind is made up. But perhaps it is not really, Cynthia?" asked she, with a little wistful anxiety betraying itself in her face.
"Surely you can't be swayed if you've already made up your mind. But maybe you haven't really, Cynthia?" she asked, a hint of worried hope showing on her face.
"It is quite made up. I am going to teach little Russian girls; and am never going to marry nobody."
"It’s all set. I’m going to teach young Russian girls, and I’m never going to marry anyone."
"You are not serious, Cynthia. And yet it is a very serious thing."
"You’re not being serious, Cynthia. And yet this is a really serious matter."
But Cynthia went into one of her wild moods, and no more reason or sensible meaning was to be got out of her at the time.
But Cynthia fell into one of her wild moods, and there was no more reason or sensible meaning to be had from her at that moment.
CHAPTER LVI.
"OFF WITH THE OLD LOVE, AND ON WITH THE NEW."
The next morning saw Mrs. Gibson in a much more contented frame of mind. She had written and posted her letter, and the next thing was to keep Cynthia in what she called a reasonable state, or, in other words, to try and cajole her into docility. But it was so much labour lost. Cynthia had already received a letter from Mr. Henderson before she came down to breakfast,—a declaration of love, a proposal of marriage as clear as words could make it; together with an intimation that, unable to wait for the slow delays of the post, he was going to follow her down to Hollingford, and would arrive at the same time that she had done herself on the previous day. Cynthia said nothing about this letter to any one. She came late into the breakfast-room, after Mr. and Mrs. Gibson had finished the actual business of the meal; but her unpunctuality was quite accounted for by the fact that she had been travelling all the night before. Molly was not as yet strong enough to get up so early. Cynthia hardly spoke, and did not touch her food. Mr. Gibson went about his daily business, and Cynthia and her mother were left alone.
The next morning, Mrs. Gibson felt much happier. She had written and sent off her letter, and now her goal was to keep Cynthia in what she called a reasonable mood, or in other words, to try to persuade her to be more compliant. But it was a complete waste of effort. Cynthia had already received a letter from Mr. Henderson before she came down for breakfast—a clear declaration of love and a marriage proposal, along with a note saying that he couldn’t wait for the slow mail and would be following her to Hollingford, arriving at the same time she had the day before. Cynthia didn’t mention this letter to anyone. She came into the breakfast room late, after Mr. and Mrs. Gibson had finished the meal; her lateness was easily explained since she had been traveling all night. Molly wasn’t well enough to get up that early yet. Cynthia hardly spoke and didn’t eat anything. Mr. Gibson went about his usual day, leaving Cynthia and her mother alone.
"My dear," said Mrs. Gibson, "you are not eating your breakfast as you should do. I am afraid our meals seem very plain and homely to you after those in Hyde Park Street?"
"My dear," Mrs. Gibson said, "you're not eating your breakfast properly. I'm afraid our meals seem quite simple and ordinary to you after those in Hyde Park Street?"
"No," said Cynthia; "I'm not hungry, that's all."
"No," said Cynthia. "I'm just not hungry, that’s all."
"If we were as rich as your uncle, I should feel it to be both a duty and a pleasure to keep an elegant table; but limited means are a sad clog to one's wishes. I don't suppose that, work as he will, Mr. Gibson can earn more than he does at present; while the capabilities of the law are boundless. Lord Chancellor! Titles as well as fortune!"
"If we were as wealthy as your uncle, I would see it as both a duty and a pleasure to host a fancy dinner; but our limited resources are a frustrating barrier to our desires. I doubt that, no matter how hard he works, Mr. Gibson can earn more than he does now; while the opportunities in the law are endless. Good grief! Titles along with wealth!"
Cynthia was almost too much absorbed in her own reflections to reply, but she did say,—"Hundreds of briefless barristers. Take the other side, mamma."
Cynthia was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she almost didn't respond, but she managed to say, “Hundreds of briefless barristers. Switch sides, mom.”
"Well; but I have noticed that many of these have private fortunes."
"Well, I've noticed that a lot of these people have their own wealth."
"Perhaps. Mamma, I expect Mr. Henderson will come and call this morning."
"Maybe. Mom, I think Mr. Henderson will come by to visit this morning."
"Oh, my precious child! But how do you know? My darling Cynthia, am I to congratulate you?"
"Oh, my beloved child! But how do you know? My dear Cynthia, should I congratulate you?"
"No! I suppose I must tell you. I have had a letter this morning from him, and he's coming down by the 'Umpire' to-day."
"No! I guess I have to tell you. I got a letter from him this morning, and he’s coming down on the 'Umpire' today."
"But he has offered? He surely must mean to offer, at any rate?"
"But he has offered? He must mean to offer, at least?"
Cynthia played with her teaspoon before she replied; then she looked up, like one startled from a dream, and caught the echo of her mother's question.
Cynthia fiddled with her teaspoon before she answered; then she looked up, like someone waking from a dream, and picked up the sound of her mother’s question.
"Offered! yes, I suppose he has."
"Offered! Yeah, I guess he has."
"And you accept him? Say 'yes,' Cynthia, and make me happy!"
"And you accept him? Say 'yes,' Cynthia, and make me happy!"
"I shan't say 'yes' to make any one happy except myself, and the Russian scheme has great charms for me." She said this to plague her mother, and lessen Mrs. Gibson's exuberance of joy, it must be confessed; for her mind was pretty well made up. But it did not affect Mrs. Gibson, who affixed even less truth to it than there really was. The idea of a residence in a new, strange country, among new, strange people, was not without allurement to Cynthia.
"I won't say 'yes' just to make anyone happy except myself, and the Russian plan really appeals to me." She said this to annoy her mother and to dampen Mrs. Gibson's excitement, it must be admitted; because her mind was mostly made up. But it didn't faze Mrs. Gibson, who believed it was even less true than it actually was. The thought of living in a new, unfamiliar country, among new, unfamiliar people, was definitely enticing to Cynthia.
"You always look nice, dear; but don't you think you had better put on that pretty lilac silk?"
"You always look great, sweetie; but don't you think you should wear that nice lilac silk?"
"I shall not vary a thread or a shred from what I have got on now."
"I won't change a single thread or piece of clothing from what I'm wearing now."
"You dear, wilful creature! you know you always look lovely in whatever you put on." So, kissing her daughter, Mrs. Gibson left the room, intent on the lunch which should impress Mr. Henderson at once with an idea of family refinement.
"You dear, spoiled girl! You know you always look great in whatever you wear." So, kissing her daughter, Mrs. Gibson left the room, focused on the lunch that should immediately impress Mr. Henderson with a sense of family elegance.
Cynthia went upstairs to Molly; she was inclined to tell her about Mr. Henderson, but she found it impossible to introduce the subject naturally, so she left it to time to reveal the future as gradually as it might. Molly was tired with a bad night; and her father, in his flying visit to his darling before going out, had advised her to stay upstairs for the greater part of the morning, and to keep quiet in her own room till after her early dinner, so Time had not a fair chance of telling her what he had in store in his budget. Mrs. Gibson sent an apology to Molly for not paying her her usual morning visit, and told Cynthia to give Mr. Henderson's probable coming as a reason for her occupation downstairs. But Cynthia did no such thing. She kissed Molly, and sate silently by her, holding her hand; till at length she jumped up, and said, "You shall be left alone now, little one. I want you to be very well and very bright this afternoon: so rest now." And Cynthia left her, and went to her own room, locked the door, and began to think.
Cynthia went upstairs to see Molly; she was tempted to tell her about Mr. Henderson, but she found it hard to bring it up casually, so she decided to let time reveal the future as it would. Molly was exhausted from a restless night, and her father, in his quick visit to his beloved before heading out, had suggested she stay upstairs for most of the morning and keep quiet in her room until after her early lunch. So time didn’t really have a chance to tell her what was coming. Mrs. Gibson sent an apology to Molly for not making her usual morning visit and told Cynthia to use Mr. Henderson's likely arrival as the reason for her being occupied downstairs. But Cynthia didn’t do that. She kissed Molly and sat quietly beside her, holding her hand, until finally she jumped up and said, "You can be alone now, little one. I want you to feel better and be bright this afternoon, so rest for now." With that, Cynthia left her and went to her own room, locked the door, and started thinking.
Some one was thinking about her at the same time, and it was not Mr. Henderson. Roger had heard from Mr. Gibson that Cynthia had come home, and he was resolving to go to her at once, and have one strong, manly attempt to overcome the obstacles whatever they might be—and of their nature he was not fully aware—that she had conjured up against the continuance of their relation to each other. He left his father—he left them all—and went off into the woods, to be alone until the time came when he might mount his horse and ride over to put his fate to the touch. He was as careful as ever not to interfere with the morning hours that were tabooed to him of old; but waiting was very hard work when he knew that she was so near, and the time so near at hand.
Someone was thinking about her at the same time, and it wasn't Mr. Henderson. Roger had heard from Mr. Gibson that Cynthia had come home, and he was determined to go to her right away and make one strong, manly attempt to overcome whatever obstacles she had created against continuing their relationship. He didn’t fully understand what those obstacles were, but he was resolved to face them. He left his father—he left everyone—and headed into the woods to be alone until it was time to get on his horse and ride over to take a chance on his fate. He was careful not to intrude during the morning hours that had always been off-limits to him; still, waiting was incredibly difficult when he knew she was so close, and that the moment was approaching.
Yet he rode slowly, compelling himself to quietness and patience when he was once really on the way to her.
Yet he rode slowly, forcing himself to be calm and patient when he was truly on his way to her.
"Mrs. Gibson at home? Miss Kirkpatrick?" he asked of the servant, Maria, who opened the door. She was confused, but he did not notice it.
"Is Mrs. Gibson home? How about Miss Kirkpatrick?" he asked the servant, Maria, who opened the door. She looked confused, but he didn't notice.
"I think so—I'm not sure! Will you walk up into the drawing-room, sir? Miss Gibson is there, I know."
"I think so—I’m not sure! Will you head up to the drawing room, sir? Miss Gibson is there, I know."
So he went upstairs, all his nerves on the strain for the coming interview with Cynthia. It was either a relief or a disappointment, he was not sure which, to find only Molly in the room:—Molly, half lying on the couch in the bow-window which commanded the garden; draped in soft white drapery, very white herself, and a laced half-handkerchief tied over her head to save her from any ill effects of the air that blew in through the open window. He was so ready to speak to Cynthia that he hardly knew what to say to any one else.
So he went upstairs, his nerves on edge for the upcoming interview with Cynthia. It was either a relief or a letdown—he couldn't tell which—to find only Molly in the room: Molly, half lying on the couch in the window that overlooked the garden; draped in soft white fabric, very pale herself, and a lacy half-handkerchief tied over her head to protect her from any adverse effects of the air coming in through the open window. He was so eager to talk to Cynthia that he barely knew what to say to anyone else.
"I am afraid you are not so well," he said to Molly, who sat up to receive him, and who suddenly began to tremble with emotion.
"I’m afraid you’re not doing so well," he said to Molly, who sat up to greet him and suddenly started to shake with emotion.
"I'm a little tired, that's all," said she; and then she was quite silent, hoping that he might go, and yet somehow wishing him to stay. But he took a chair and placed it near her, opposite to the window. He thought that surely Maria would tell Miss Kirkpatrick that she was wanted, and that at any moment he might hear her light quick footstep on the stairs. He felt he ought to talk, but he could not think of anything to say. The pink flush came out on Molly's cheeks; once or twice she was on the point of speaking, but again she thought better of it; and the pauses between their faint disjointed remarks became longer and longer. Suddenly, in one of these pauses, the merry murmur of distant happy voices in the garden came nearer and nearer; Molly looked more and more uneasy and flushed, and in spite of herself kept watching Roger's face. He could see over her into the garden. A sudden deep colour overspread him, as if his heart had sent its blood out coursing at full gallop. Cynthia and Mr. Henderson had come in sight; he eagerly talking to her as he bent forward to look into her face; she, her looks half averted in pretty shyness, was evidently coquetting about some flowers, which she either would not give, or would not take. Just then, for the lovers had emerged from the shrubbery into comparatively public life, Maria was seen approaching; apparently she had feminine tact enough to induce Cynthia to leave her present admirer, and to go a few steps to meet her to receive the whispered message that Mr. Roger Hamley was there, and wished to speak to her. Roger could see her startled gesture; she turned back to say something to Mr. Henderson before coming towards the house. Now Roger spoke to Molly—spoke hurriedly, spoke hoarsely.
"I'm just a bit tired, that's all," she said, and then she fell silent, hoping he would leave but also wishing he would stay. He took a chair and set it near her, across from the window. He figured Maria would tell Miss Kirkpatrick that she was needed, and any moment he might hear her light, quick footsteps on the stairs. He felt he should say something, but nothing came to mind. A pink flush crept onto Molly's cheeks; she almost spoke a couple of times but thought better of it; and the pauses between their scattered comments grew longer and longer. Suddenly, during one of these silences, the cheerful sounds of distant voices in the garden grew closer; Molly looked increasingly uncomfortable and flushed, and despite herself, she kept glancing at Roger's face. He could see over her into the garden. A sudden deep color rushed to his face, as if his heart was pumping blood at full speed. Cynthia and Mr. Henderson came into view; he was eagerly talking to her as he leaned in to look at her face; she, her gaze partially averted with a cute shyness, was clearly flirting about some flowers, which she either wouldn't give or wouldn't take. Just then, as the couple stepped out of the shrubbery into a more public setting, Maria was seen approaching; she seemed to have enough feminine intuition to prompt Cynthia to leave her current admirer and take a few steps to meet her for the whispered message that Mr. Roger Hamley was there and wanted to speak to her. Roger noticed her startled reaction; she turned back to say something to Mr. Henderson before heading toward the house. Now Roger spoke to Molly—he spoke quickly, his voice hoarse.
"Molly, tell me! Is it too late for me to speak to Cynthia? I came on purpose. Who is that man?"
"Molly, please tell me! Is it too late for me to talk to Cynthia? I came here on purpose. Who is that guy?"
"Mr. Henderson. He only came to-day—but now he is her accepted lover. Oh, Roger, forgive me the pain!"
"Mr. Henderson. He just showed up today—but now he's her accepted boyfriend. Oh, Roger, please forgive me for the hurt!"
"Tell her I have been, and am gone. Send out word to her. Don't let her be interrupted."
"Tell her I've been here and I've left. Send her the message. Don’t let her be disturbed."
And Roger ran downstairs at full speed, and Molly heard the passionate clang of the outer door. He had hardly left the house before Cynthia entered the room, pale and resolute.
And Roger sprinted downstairs, and Molly heard the loud sound of the front door. He had barely left the house when Cynthia walked into the room, looking pale but determined.
"Where is he?" she said, looking around, as if he might yet be hidden.
"Where is he?" she asked, glancing around, as if he might still be hiding.
"Gone!" said Molly, very faint.
"All gone!" said Molly, barely.
"Gone. Oh, what a relief! It seems to be my fate never to be off with the old lover before I am on with the new, and yet I did write as decidedly as I could. Why, Molly, what's the matter?" for now Molly had fainted away utterly. Cynthia flew to the bell, summoned Maria, water, salts, wine, anything; and as soon as Molly, gasping and miserable, became conscious again, she wrote a little pencil-note to Mr. Henderson, bidding him return to the "George," whence he had come in the morning, and saying that if he obeyed her at once, he might be allowed to call again in the evening, otherwise she would not see him till the next day. This she sent down by Maria, and the unlucky man never believed but that it was Miss Gibson's sudden indisposition in the first instance that had deprived him of his charmer's company. He comforted himself for the long solitary afternoon by writing to tell all his friends of his happiness, and amongst them uncle and aunt Kirkpatrick, who received his letter by the same post as that discreet epistle of Mrs. Gibson's, which she had carefully arranged to reveal as much as she wished, and no more.
Gone. Oh, what a relief! It seems like my fate is to never end things with an old lover before I start up with a new one, and still, I tried to be as clear as I could. Why, Molly, what's wrong?" At that moment, Molly had completely fainted. Cynthia rushed to the bell, called for Maria, water, salts, wine—anything; and as soon as Molly, gasping and looking miserable, came back to her senses, she wrote a quick note to Mr. Henderson, telling him to return to the "George," where he had come from in the morning, and said that if he did what she asked right away, he might be allowed to visit again in the evening; otherwise, she wouldn't see him until the next day. She sent this down with Maria, and the poor guy never thought anything different but that it was Miss Gibson's sudden fainting that had caused him to lose time with his charm. He distracted himself during the long, lonely afternoon by writing to share the news of his happiness with all his friends, including uncle and aunt Kirkpatrick, who received his letter in the same mail as that careful letter from Mrs. Gibson, which she had thoughtfully arranged to reveal just as much as she wanted, and no more.
"Was he very terrible?" asked Cynthia, as she sate with Molly in the stillness of Mrs. Gibson's dressing-room.
"Was he really that terrible?" asked Cynthia, as she sat with Molly in the quiet of Mrs. Gibson's dressing room.
"Oh, Cynthia, it was such pain to see him, he suffered so!"
"Oh, Cynthia, it was so painful to see him; he was in such agony!"
"I don't like people of deep feelings," said Cynthia, pouting. "They don't suit me. Why couldn't he let me go without this fuss? I'm not worth his caring for!"
"I don't like people who feel deeply," Cynthia said, sulking. "They just don't fit with me. Why couldn't he just let me go without all this drama? I'm not worth his concern!"
"You have the happy gift of making people love you. Remember Mr. Preston,—he too wouldn't give up hope."
"You have the wonderful ability to make people love you. Remember Mr. Preston? He also never lost hope."
"Now I won't have you classing Roger Hamley and Mr. Preston together in the same sentence. One was as much too bad for me as the other is too good. Now I hope that man in the garden is the juste milieu,—I'm that myself, for I don't think I'm vicious, and I know I'm not virtuous."
"Now I won’t let you compare Roger Hamley and Mr. Preston in the same breath. One is way too bad for me, while the other is way too good. I hope that man in the garden is the right balance—I’m that myself, because I don’t think I’m corrupt, and I know I’m not moral."
"Do you really like him enough to marry him?" asked Molly earnestly. "Do think, Cynthia. It won't do to go on throwing your lovers off; you give pain that I'm sure you do not mean to do,—that you cannot understand."
"Do you really like him enough to marry him?" Molly asked seriously. "Think about it, Cynthia. You can't keep pushing your lovers away; you cause pain that I'm sure you don't intend to — pain that you can't even understand."
"Perhaps I can't. I'm not offended. I never set up for what I am not, and I know I'm not constant. I've told Mr. Henderson so—" She stopped, blushing and smiling at the recollection.
"Maybe I can't. I'm not upset. I never pretend to be something I'm not, and I know I'm not consistent. I’ve told Mr. Henderson so—" She stopped, blushing and smiling at the memory.
"You have! and what did he say?"
"You have! And what did he say?"
"That he liked me just as I was; so you see he's fairly warned. Only he's a little afraid, I suppose,—for he wants me to be married very soon, almost directly, in fact. But I don't know if I shall give way,—you hardly saw him, Molly,—but he's coming again to-night, and mind, I'll never forgive you if you don't think him very charming. I believe I cared for him when he offered all those months ago, but I tried to think I didn't; only sometimes I really was so unhappy, I thought I must put an iron band round my heart to keep it from breaking, like the Faithful John of the German story,—do you remember, Molly?—how when his master came to his crown and his fortune and his lady-love, after innumerable trials and disgraces, and was driving away from the church where he'd been married in a coach and six, with Faithful John behind, the happy couple heard three great cracks in succession, and on inquiring, they were the iron-bands round his heart, that Faithful John had worn all during the time of his master's tribulation, to keep it from breaking."
"That he liked me just the way I am; so you see he's been warned. He’s a bit scared, I guess—he wants me to get married really soon, almost right away, actually. But I’m not sure if I’ll give in—you hardly saw him, Molly—but he’s coming back tonight, and just so you know, I’ll never forgive you if you don’t find him very charming. I think I liked him when he offered a few months ago, but I tried to convince myself otherwise; still, sometimes I was so unhappy that I felt I had to put an iron band around my heart to keep it from breaking, like the Faithful John from the German story—do you remember, Molly?—how when his master achieved his crown, fortune, and lady-love after countless trials and setbacks, as he drove away from the church where he got married in a fancy coach with Faithful John behind, the happy couple heard three loud cracks in a row, and when they asked about it, they found out it was the iron bands around Faithful John’s heart that he had worn all that time to keep it from breaking."
In the evening Mr. Henderson came. Molly had been very curious to see him; and when she saw him she was not sure whether she liked him or not. He was handsome, without being conceited; gentlemanly, without being foolishly fine. He talked easily, and never said a silly thing. He was perfectly well-appointed, yet never seemed to have given a thought to his dress. He was good-tempered and kind; not without some of the cheerful flippancy of repartee which belonged to his age and profession, and which his age and profession are apt to take for wit. But he wanted something in Molly's eyes—at any rate, in this first interview, and in her heart of hearts she thought him rather commonplace. But of course she said nothing of this to Cynthia, who was evidently as happy as she could be. Mrs. Gibson, too, was in the seventh heaven of ecstasy, and spoke but little; but what she did say, expressed the highest sentiments in the finest language. Mr. Gibson was not with them for long, but while he was there he was evidently studying the unconscious Mr. Henderson with his dark penetrating eyes. Mr. Henderson behaved exactly as he ought to have done to everybody: respectful to Mr. Gibson, deferential to Mrs. Gibson, friendly to Molly, devoted to Cynthia.
In the evening, Mr. Henderson arrived. Molly was really curious to meet him, and when she did, she wasn't sure if she liked him or not. He was handsome but not arrogant; gentlemanly without being overly formal. He spoke easily and never said anything silly. He was well-dressed but didn’t seem to have put much thought into his outfit. He was good-natured and kind, displaying a bit of the playful banter typical of his age and profession, which often gets mistaken for wit. However, there was something missing in Molly's eyes—at least during this first meeting—and deep down, she found him rather ordinary. But of course, she didn’t say anything about this to Cynthia, who seemed to be as happy as could be. Mrs. Gibson was also over the moon and spoke very little; when she did, her words expressed the highest sentiments in the most elegant way. Mr. Gibson wasn’t with them for long, but while he was there, he clearly studied Mr. Henderson with his intense dark eyes. Mr. Henderson interacted perfectly with everyone: respectful to Mr. Gibson, polite to Mrs. Gibson, friendly to Molly, and devoted to Cynthia.
The next time Mr. Gibson found Molly alone, he began,—"Well! and how do you like the new relation that is to be?"
The next time Mr. Gibson found Molly by herself, he started, "So, how do you feel about the new relationship that's coming up?"
"It's difficult to say. I think he's very nice in all his bits, but—rather dull on the whole."
"It's hard to say. I think he's really nice in every way, but—pretty boring overall."
"I think him perfection," said Mr. Gibson, to Molly's surprise; but in an instant afterwards she saw that he had been speaking ironically. He went on. "I don't wonder she preferred him to Roger Hamley. Such scents! such gloves! And then his hair and his cravat!"
"I think he's perfect," said Mr. Gibson, to Molly's surprise; but a moment later, she realized he had been speaking ironically. He continued, "I can't blame her for picking him over Roger Hamley. Such fragrances! Such gloves! And then his hair and his tie!"
"Now, papa, you're not fair. He is a great deal more than that. One could see that he had very good feeling; and he is very handsome, and very much attached to her."
"Come on, Dad, that's not fair. He's a lot more than that. You can tell he has really good feelings; he's good-looking, and he cares a lot about her."
"So was Roger. However, I must confess I shall be only too glad to have her married. She's a girl who'll always have some love-affair on hand, and will always be apt to slip through a man's fingers if he doesn't look sharp; as I was saying to Roger—"
"So was Roger. However, I have to admit I’ll be really happy to see her get married. She's the kind of girl who will always have some romantic fling going on, and she'll definitely slip away from a guy if he’s not paying attention; as I was saying to Roger that—"
"You have seen him, then, since he was here?"
"You've seen him, then, since he was here?"
"Met him in the street."
"Met him on the street."
"How was he?"
"How was he doing?"
"I don't suppose he'd been going through the pleasantest thing in the world; but he'll get over it before long. He spoke with sense and resignation, and didn't say much about it; but one could see that he was feeling it pretty sharply. He's had three months to think it over, remember. The Squire, I should guess, is showing more indignation. He is boiling over, that any one should reject his son! The enormity of the sin never seems to have been apparent to him till now, when he sees how Roger is affected by it. Indeed, with the exception of myself, I don't know one reasonable father; eh, Molly?"
"I don’t think he’s been going through the easiest time; but he’ll get past it soon enough. He spoke with understanding and acceptance, and didn’t say much about it; but you could tell it was hitting him pretty hard. He’s had three months to think it over, remember. The Squire, I’d guess, is showing more outrage. He’s furious that anyone would reject his son! The seriousness of the situation didn’t seem to register with him until now, when he sees how it’s affecting Roger. Honestly, except for me, I don’t know any reasonable fathers; right, Molly?"
Whatever else Mr. Henderson might be, he was an impatient lover; he wanted to marry Cynthia directly—next week—the week after; at any rate before the long vacation, so that they could go abroad at once. Trousseaux, and preliminary ceremonies, he gave to the winds. Mr. Gibson, generous as usual, called Cynthia aside a morning or two after her engagement, and put a hundred-pound note into her hands.
Whatever else Mr. Henderson might be, he was an impatient lover; he wanted to marry Cynthia right away—next week, the week after; at the latest, before summer vacation, so they could go abroad immediately. Wedding preparations and preliminary ceremonies meant nothing to him. Mr. Gibson, always generous, took Cynthia aside a couple of mornings after her engagement and handed her a hundred-pound note.
"There! that's to pay your expenses to Russia and back. I hope you'll find your pupils obedient."
"There! That should cover your expenses for the trip to Russia and back. I hope your students are obedient."
To his surprise, and rather to his discomfiture, Cynthia threw her arms round his neck and kissed him.
To his surprise, and somewhat to his embarrassment, Cynthia wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.
"You are the kindest person I know," said she; "and I don't know how to thank you in words."
"You are the kindest person I know," she said, "and I have no idea how to thank you with words."
"If you tumble my shirt-collars again in that way, I'll charge you for the washing. Just now, too, when I'm trying so hard to be trim and elegant, like your Mr. Henderson."
"If you mess up my shirt collars like that again, I'll make you pay for the washing. And right now, I'm really trying to look neat and classy, just like your Mr. Henderson."
"But you do like him, don't you?" said Cynthia, pleadingly. "He does so like you."
"But you do like him, right?" Cynthia said, earnestly. "He really likes you."
"Of course. We're all angels just now, and you're an arch-angel. I hope he'll wear as well as Roger."
"Of course. We're all angels right now, and you're an archangel. I hope he'll last as long as Roger."
Cynthia looked grave. "That was a very silly affair," she said. "We were two as unsuitable people—"
Cynthia looked serious. "That was a really silly situation," she said. "We were two totally unsuitable people
"It has ended, and that's enough. Besides, I've no more time to waste; and there's your smart young man coming here in all haste."
"It’s over, and that’s all there is to it. Besides, I don’t have any more time to waste; and there’s your clever young man coming here quickly."
Mr. and Mrs. Kirkpatrick sent all manner of congratulations; and Mrs. Gibson, in a private letter, assured Mrs. Kirkpatrick that her ill-timed confidence about Roger should be considered as quite private. For as soon as Mr. Henderson had made his appearance in Hollingford, she had written a second letter, entreating them not to allude to anything she might have said in her first; which she said was written in such excitement on discovering the real state of her daughter's affections, that she had hardly known what she had said, and had exaggerated some things, and misunderstood others: all that she did know now was, that Mr. Henderson had just proposed to Cynthia, and was accepted, and that they were as happy as the day was long, and ("excuse the vanity of a mother,") made a most lovely couple. So Mr. and Mrs. Kirkpatrick wrote back an equally agreeable letter, praising Mr. Henderson, admiring Cynthia, and generally congratulatory; insisting into the bargain that the marriage should take place from their house in Hyde Park Street, and that Mr. and Mrs. Gibson and Molly should all come up and pay them a visit. There was a little postscript at the end. "Surely you do not mean the famous traveller, Hamley, about whose discoveries all our scientific men are so much excited. You speak of him as a young Hamley, who went to Africa. Answer this question, pray, for Helen is most anxious to know." This P.S. being in Helen's handwriting. In her exultation at the general success of everything, and desire for sympathy, Mrs. Gibson read parts of this letter to Molly; the postscript among the rest. It made a deeper impression on Molly than even the proposed kindness of the visit to London.
Mr. and Mrs. Kirkpatrick sent all kinds of congratulations; and Mrs. Gibson, in a private letter, assured Mrs. Kirkpatrick that her poorly timed confidence about Roger should be kept private. As soon as Mr. Henderson arrived in Hollingford, she wrote a second letter, asking them not to mention anything she might have said in her first letter. She explained that it was written in such excitement upon realizing her daughter's true feelings that she hardly knew what she had said, and she had exaggerated some things and misunderstood others. What she did know now was that Mr. Henderson had just proposed to Cynthia, and she had accepted, and they were as happy as could be, and ("excuse the vanity of a mother,") they made a beautiful couple. So Mr. and Mrs. Kirkpatrick replied with an equally pleasant letter, praising Mr. Henderson, admiring Cynthia, and overall congratulatory; insisting that the wedding should take place at their house on Hyde Park Street, and that Mr. and Mrs. Gibson and Molly should come up to visit them. There was a little postscript at the end. "Surely you don't mean the famous traveler, Hamley, whose discoveries have everyone so excited. You mention him as a young Hamley who went to Africa. Please answer this question, as Helen is very eager to know." This P.S. was written in Helen's handwriting. In her joy over the overall success of everything and her desire for sympathy, Mrs. Gibson read parts of this letter to Molly, including the postscript. It left a stronger impression on Molly than even the proposed kindness of the visit to London.
There were some family consultations; but the end of them all was that the Kirkpatrick invitation was accepted. There were many small reasons for this, which were openly acknowledged; but there was one general and unspoken wish to have the ceremony performed out of the immediate neighbourhood of the two men whom Cynthia had previously—rejected; that was the word now to be applied to her treatment of them. So Molly was ordered and enjoined and entreated to become strong as soon as possible, in order that her health might not prevent her attending the marriage; Mr. Gibson himself, though he thought it his duty to damp the exultant anticipations of his wife and her daughter, being not at all averse to the prospect of going to London, and seeing half-a-dozen old friends, and many scientific exhibitions, independently of the very fair amount of liking which he had for his host, Mr. Kirkpatrick himself.
There were some family discussions, but in the end, they decided to accept the Kirkpatrick invitation. There were several minor reasons for this, all of which were openly acknowledged; however, there was a shared, unspoken desire to hold the ceremony away from the two men who Cynthia had previously—rejected; that’s the term that now described her treatment of them. So, Molly was urged and pleaded with to get better as soon as possible, so her health wouldn’t stop her from attending the wedding. Mr. Gibson, while feeling it was his responsibility to cool the excited hopes of his wife and daughter, was actually looking forward to the chance to go to London, catch up with a few old friends, and visit several scientific exhibitions, not to mention his genuine fondness for his host, Mr. Kirkpatrick.
CHAPTER LVII.
BRIDAL VISITS AND ADIEUX.
The whole town of Hollingford came to congratulate and inquire into particulars. Some indeed—Mrs. Goodenough at the head of this class of malcontents—thought that they were defrauded of their right to a fine show by Cynthia's being married in London. Even Lady Cumnor was moved into action. She, who had hardly ever paid calls "out of her own sphere," who had only once been to see "Clare" in her own house—she came to congratulate after her fashion. Maria had only just time to run up into the drawing-room one morning, and say,—
The entire town of Hollingford came to congratulate and find out the details. Some, like Mrs. Goodenough, who led this group of dissatisfied people, felt cheated out of their chance to enjoy a great show because Cynthia got married in London. Even Lady Cumnor took action. She, who had barely ever visited anyone outside her social circle and had only been to see "Clare" at her home once, came to congratulate in her own way. Maria barely had time to dash into the drawing-room one morning and say,—
"Please, ma'am, the great carriage from the Towers is coming up to the gate, and my lady the Countess is sitting inside." It was but eleven o'clock, and Mrs. Gibson would have been indignant at any commoner who had ventured to call at such an untimely hour, but in the case of the Peerage the rules of domestic morality were relaxed.
"Excuse me, ma'am, the grand carriage from the Towers is approaching the gate, and my lady the Countess is inside." It was only eleven o'clock, and Mrs. Gibson would have been outraged at any ordinary person who dared to visit at such an inappropriate hour, but when it came to the nobility, the norms of social etiquette were more flexible.
The family "stood at arms," as it were, till Lady Cumnor appeared in the drawing-room; and then she had to be settled in the best chair, and the light adjusted before anything like conversation began. She was the first to speak; and Lady Harriet, who had begun a few words to Molly, dropped into silence.
The family "stood at attention," so to speak, until Lady Cumnor showed up in the drawing-room; then they had to help her get comfortable in the best chair and adjust the light before any real conversation could start. She was the first to say something; and Lady Harriet, who had just started to say a few words to Molly, fell silent.
"I have been taking Mary—Lady Cuxhaven—to the railway station on this new line between Birmingham and London, and I thought I would come on here, and offer you my congratulations. Clare, which is the young lady?"—putting up her glasses, and looking at Cynthia and Molly, who were dressed pretty much alike. "I did not think it would be amiss to give you a little advice, my dear," said she, when Cynthia had been properly pointed out to her as bride elect. "I have heard a good deal about you; and I am only too glad, for your mother's sake,—your mother is a very worthy woman, and did her duty very well while she was in our family—I am truly rejoiced, I say, to hear that you are going to make so creditable a marriage. I hope it will efface your former errors of conduct—which, we will hope, were but trivial in reality—and that you will live to be a comfort to your mother,—for whom both Lord Cumnor and I entertain a very sincere regard. But you must conduct yourself with discretion in whatever state of life it pleases God to place you, whether married or single. You must reverence your husband, and conform to his opinion in all things. Look up to him as your head, and do nothing without consulting him."—It was as well that Lord Cumnor was not amongst the audience; or he might have compared precept with practice.—"Keep strict accounts; and remember your station in life. I understand that Mr.—" looking about for some help as to the name she had forgotten—"Anderson—Henderson is in the law. Although there is a general prejudice against attorneys, I have known of two or three who were very respectable men; and I am sure Mr. Henderson is one, or your good mother and our old friend Gibson would not have sanctioned the engagement."
"I’ve been taking Mary—Lady Cuxhaven—to the train station on this new line between Birmingham and London, and I thought I would come over and offer you my congratulations. Clare, which one is the young lady?"—she adjusted her glasses and looked at Cynthia and Molly, who were dressed quite similarly. "I thought it would be a good idea to give you a little advice, my dear," she said after Cynthia had been identified as the bride-to-be. "I've heard a lot about you, and I'm really glad, especially for your mother's sake—your mother is a very admirable woman and did her part very well during her time in our family. I’m truly happy to hear that you're going to make such a respectable marriage. I hope it will erase any past mistakes you may have made—which, let’s hope, were just minor—and that you will bring comfort to your mother, for whom both Lord Cumnor and I have a deep respect. But you must conduct yourself wisely, no matter what kind of life God places you in, whether you’re married or single. You need to respect your husband and go along with his views on everything. Look to him as the head of your household, and don’t do anything without consulting him."—It was probably a good thing that Lord Cumnor wasn’t part of the crowd; he might have noted the difference between her advice and her actions.—"Keep careful records, and remember your place in society. I understand that Mr. she scanned the room for help recalling the name she had forgotten—"Anderson—Henderson is in law. Even though there’s a common bias against lawyers, I’ve known a couple of very respectable ones, and I’m sure Mr. Henderson is one of them, or your good mother and our old friend Gibson wouldn’t have approved the engagement."
"He is a barrister," put in Cynthia, unable to restrain herself any longer. "Barrister-at-law."
"He’s a lawyer," Cynthia chimed in, unable to hold back any longer. "Lawyer at law."
"Ah, yes. Attorney-at-law. Barrister-at-law. I understand without your speaking so loud, my dear. What was I going to say before you interrupted me? When you have been a little in society you will find that it is reckoned bad manners to interrupt. I had a great deal more to say to you, and you have put it all out of my head. There was something else your father wanted me to ask—what was it, Harriet?"
"Ah, yes. Lawyer. Barrister. I get it without you having to raise your voice, my dear. What was I going to say before you cut me off? Once you've spent some time in society, you'll see it's considered rude to interrupt. I had a lot more to say to you, and you've made me forget it all. There was something else your father wanted me to ask—what was it, Harriet?"
"I suppose you mean about Mr. Hamley?"
"I guess you're talking about Mr. Hamley?"
"Oh, yes! we are intending to have the house full of Lord Hollingford's friends next month, and Lord Cumnor is particularly anxious to secure Mr. Hamley."
"Oh, yes! We're planning to have the house full of Lord Hollingford's friends next month, and Lord Cumnor is especially eager to get Mr. Hamley."
"The Squire?" asked Mrs. Gibson in some surprise. Lady Cumnor bowed slightly, as much as to say, "If you did not interrupt me I should explain."
"The Squire?" Mrs. Gibson asked, a bit surprised. Lady Cumnor slightly bowed, as if to say, "If you didn't interrupt me, I would explain."
"The famous traveller—the scientific Mr. Hamley, I mean. I imagine he is son to the Squire. Lord Hollingford knows him well; but when we asked him before, he declined coming, and assigned no reason."
"The famous traveler—the scientific Mr. Hamley, I mean. I imagine he is the son of the Squire. Lord Hollingford knows him well; but when we asked him before, he declined to come and didn’t give a reason."
Had Roger indeed been asked to the Towers and declined? Mrs. Gibson could not understand it. Lady Cumnor went on—
Had Roger really been invited to the Towers and turned it down? Mrs. Gibson couldn't make sense of it. Lady Cumnor continued—
"Now this time we are particularly anxious to secure him, and my son Lord Hollingford will not return to England until the very week before the Duke of Atherstone is coming to us. I believe Mr. Gibson is very intimate with Mr. Hamley; do you think he could induce him to favour us with his company?"
"Right now, we're really eager to make sure we have him, and my son, Lord Hollingford, won't be back in England until the week before the Duke of Atherstone is visiting us. I believe Mr. Gibson is quite close with Mr. Hamley; do you think he could persuade him to join us?"
And this from the proud Lady Cumnor; and the object of it Roger Hamley, whom she had all but turned out of her drawing-room two years ago for calling at an untimely hour; and whom Cynthia had turned out of her heart. Mrs. Gibson was surprised, and could only murmur out that she was sure Mr. Gibson would do all that her ladyship wished.
And this is from the proud Lady Cumnor; the person it concerns is Roger Hamley, whom she had almost kicked out of her living room two years ago for visiting at an inappropriate time; and whom Cynthia had removed from her heart. Mrs. Gibson was taken aback and could only mumble that she was sure Mr. Gibson would do everything her ladyship wanted.
"Thank you. You know me well enough to be aware that I am not the person, nor is the Towers the house, to go about soliciting guests. But in this instance I bend my head; high rank should always be the first to honour those who have distinguished themselves by art or science."
"Thank you. You know me well enough to realize that I'm not the type of person, nor is the Towers the place, to go around inviting guests. But in this case, I acknowledge that high status should always be the first to honor those who have made a mark in art or science."
"Besides, mamma," said Lady Harriet, "papa was saying that the Hamleys have been on their land since before the Conquest; while we only came into the county a century ago; and there is a tale that the first Cumnor began his fortune through selling tobacco in King James's reign."
"Besides, Mom," said Lady Harriet, "Dad was saying that the Hamleys have owned their land since before the Conquest, while we only moved into the county a hundred years ago; and there's a story that the first Cumnor started his fortune by selling tobacco during King James's reign."
If Lady Cumnor did not exactly shift her trumpet and take snuff there on the spot, she behaved in an equivalent manner. She began a low-toned but nevertheless authoritative conversation with Clare about the details of the wedding, which lasted until she thought it fit to go, when she abruptly plucked Lady Harriet up, and carried her off in the very midst of a description she was giving to Cynthia about the delights of Spa, which was to be one of the resting-places of the newly-married couple on their wedding-tour.
If Lady Cumnor didn't literally pull out her trumpet and take snuff right there, she acted in a similar way. She started a quiet but still commanding conversation with Clare about the details of the wedding, which went on until she decided it was time to leave. Then she suddenly grabbed Lady Harriet and took her away in the middle of her description to Cynthia about the pleasures of Spa, one of the stops for the newlyweds on their honeymoon.
Nevertheless she prepared a handsome present for the bride: a Bible and a Prayer-book bound in velvet with silver-clasps; and also a collection of household account-books, at the beginning of which Lady Cumnor wrote down with her own hand the proper weekly allowance of bread, butter, eggs, meat, and groceries per head, with the London prices of the articles, so that the most inexperienced housekeeper might ascertain whether her expenditure exceeded her means, as she expressed herself in the note which she sent with the handsome, dull present.
Nevertheless, she prepared a beautiful gift for the bride: a Bible and a prayer book covered in velvet with silver clasps; and also a set of household account books, in which Lady Cumnor personally wrote down the appropriate weekly allowance of bread, butter, eggs, meat, and groceries per person, along with the London prices for these items, so that even the least experienced housekeeper could figure out if her spending was within her budget, as she mentioned in the note that accompanied the lovely but somewhat boring gift.
"If you are driving into Hollingford, Harriet, perhaps you will take these books to Miss Kirkpatrick," said Lady Cumnor, after she had sealed her note with all the straightness and correctness befitting a countess of her immaculate character. "I understand they are all going up to London to-morrow for this wedding, in spite of what I said to Clare of the duty of being married in one's own parish-church. She told me at the time that she entirely agreed with me, but that her husband had such a strong wish for a visit to London, that she did not know how she could oppose him consistently with her wifely duty. I advised her to repeat to him my reasons for thinking that they would be ill-advised to have the marriage in town; but I am afraid she has been overruled. That was her one great fault when she lived with us; she was always so yielding, and never knew how to say 'No.'"
“If you’re driving into Hollingford, Harriet, could you take these books to Miss Kirkpatrick?” said Lady Cumnor, after she had sealed her note with all the formality and precision expected of a countess of her esteemed character. “I hear they’re all heading to London tomorrow for this wedding, despite what I told Clare about the importance of getting married in one’s own parish church. She assured me at the time that she completely agreed with me, but her husband is so eager to visit London that she felt she couldn’t oppose him without going against her wifely duty. I suggested she explain my reasons for thinking it would be unwise to have the wedding in town; but I’m afraid she has been convinced otherwise. That was her one major flaw when she lived with us; she was always so accommodating and never knew how to say ‘No.’”
"Mamma!" said Lady Harriet, with a little sly coaxing in her tone. "Do you think you would have been so fond of her, if she had opposed you, and said 'No,' when you wished her to say 'Yes?'"
"Mama!" said Lady Harriet, with a hint of playful persuasion in her voice. "Do you really think you would have liked her so much if she had resisted you and said 'No' when you wanted her to say 'Yes?'"
"To be sure I should, my dear. I like everybody to have an opinion of their own; only when my opinions are based on thought and experience, which few people have had equal opportunities of acquiring, I think it is but proper deference in others to allow themselves to be convinced. In fact, I think it is only obstinacy which keeps them from acknowledging that they are. I am not a despot, I hope?" she asked, with some anxiety.
"Of course I should, my dear. I believe everyone should have their own opinion; however, when my opinions are based on thought and experience—something very few people have had the same chances to gain—I think it's only respectful for others to be open to being persuaded. Honestly, I believe it's just stubbornness that prevents them from admitting that they are. I'm not a dictator, am I?" she asked, a bit anxiously.
"If you are, dear mamma," said Lady Harriet, kissing the stern uplifted face very fondly, "I like a despotism better than a republic, and I must be very despotic over my ponies, for it's already getting very late for my drive round by Ash-holt."
"If you are, dear Mom," said Lady Harriet, kissing the stern, raised face very affectionately, "I prefer a dictatorship over a republic, and I have to be quite controlling with my ponies because it's already getting late for my drive around Ash-holt."
But when she arrived at the Gibsons', she was detained so long there by the state of the family, that she had to give up her going to Ash-holt.
But when she got to the Gibsons', she was held up for so long by the family's situation that she had to give up her trip to Ash-holt.
Molly was sitting in the drawing-room pale and trembling, and keeping herself quiet only by a strong effort. She was the only person there when Lady Harriet entered: the room was all in disorder, strewed with presents and paper, and pasteboard boxes, and half-displayed articles of finery.
Molly was sitting in the living room, pale and shaking, forcing herself to stay calm. She was the only person there when Lady Harriet walked in: the room was a mess, scattered with gifts, wrapping paper, cardboard boxes, and half-unpacked items of luxury.
"You look like Marius sitting amidst the ruins of Carthage, my dear! What's the matter? Why have you got on that wobegone face? This marriage isn't broken off, is it? Though nothing would surprise me where the beautiful Cynthia is concerned."
"You look like Marius sitting among the ruins of Carthage, my dear! What's wrong? Why do you have that sorrowful expression? This marriage isn't off, is it? Although nothing would surprise me when it comes to the beautiful Cynthia."
"Oh, no! that's all right. But I have caught a fresh cold, and papa says he thinks I had better not go to the wedding."
"Oh, no! It's okay. But I've caught a nasty cold, and Dad thinks I shouldn't go to the wedding."
"Poor little one! And it's the first visit to London too!"
"Poor little thing! And it's their first trip to London too!"
"Yes. But what I most care for is the not being with Cynthia to the last; and then, papa"—she stopped, for she could hardly go on without open crying, and she did not want to do that. Then she cleared her voice. "Papa," she continued, "has so looked forward to this holiday,—and seeing—and—, and going—oh! I can't tell you where; but he has quite a list of people and sights to be seen,—and now he says he should not be comfortable to leave me all alone for more than three days,—two for travelling, and one for the wedding." Just then Mrs. Gibson came in, ruffled too after her fashion, though the presence of Lady Harriet was wonderfully smoothing.
"Yes. But what I care about the most is not being with Cynthia until the end; and then, Dad"—she paused, as she could barely continue without crying, and she didn't want to do that. Then she cleared her throat. "Dad," she went on, "has been really looking forward to this holiday—seeing—and—and going—oh! I can't even tell you where; but he has a whole list of people and places he wants to see—and now he says he wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving me all alone for more than three days—two for traveling and one for the wedding." Just then, Mrs. Gibson walked in, looking a bit frazzled herself, although the presence of Lady Harriet was quite calming.
"My dear Lady Harriet—how kind of you! Ah, yes, I see this poor unfortunate child has been telling you of her ill-luck; just when everything was going on so beautifully; I'm sure it was that open window at your back, Molly,—you know you would persist that it could do you no harm, and now you see the mischief! I'm sure I shan't be able to enjoy myself—and at my only child's wedding too—without you; for I can't think of leaving you without Maria. I would rather sacrifice anything myself than think of you, uncared for, and dismal at home."
"My dear Lady Harriet—how kind of you! Ah, yes, I see this poor unfortunate child has been telling you about her bad luck; just when everything was going so well. I'm sure it was that open window behind you, Molly—you always insisted it wouldn't hurt you, and now you see the trouble it caused! I know I won't be able to enjoy myself—especially at my only child's wedding—without you; because I can't imagine leaving you behind without Maria. I would rather give up anything myself than think of you being neglected and gloomy at home."
"I am sure Molly is as sorry as any one," said Lady Harriet.
"I’m sure Molly feels just as bad as anyone," said Lady Harriet.
"No. I don't think she is," said Mrs. Gibson, with happy disregard of the chronology of events, "or she would not have sate with her back to an open window the day before yesterday, when I told her not. But it can't be helped now. Papa too—but it is my duty to make the best of everything, and look at the cheerful side of life. I wish I could persuade her to do the same" (turning and addressing Lady Harriet). "But, you see, it is a great mortification to a girl of her age to lose her first visit to London."
"No. I don’t think she is," Mrs. Gibson said, happily ignoring the timeline of events, "or she wouldn’t have sat with her back to an open window the day before yesterday, when I told her not to. But it can’t be helped now. Dad too—but it’s my duty to make the best of everything and focus on the bright side of life. I wish I could convince her to do the same," she said, turning to address Lady Harriet. "But, you see, it’s really embarrassing for a girl her age to miss her first visit to London."
"It is not that," began Molly; but Lady Harriet made her a little sign to be silent while she herself spoke.
"It’s not that," started Molly; but Lady Harriet silenced her with a gesture while she spoke.
"Now, Clare! you and I can manage it all, I think, if you will but help me in a plan I've got in my head. Mr. Gibson shall stay as long as ever he can in London; and Molly shall be well cared for, and have some change of air and scene too, which is really what she needs as much as anything, in my poor opinion. I can't spirit her to the wedding and give her a sight of London; but I can carry her off to the Towers, and nurse her myself; and send daily bulletins up to London, so that Mr. Gibson may feel quite at ease, and stay with you as long as you like. What do you say to it, Clare?"
"Now, Clare! I think you and I can handle everything if you'll help me with a plan I have. Mr. Gibson can stay in London for as long as possible, and we’ll make sure Molly is well taken care of and gets some fresh air and a change of scenery, which she really needs, in my opinion. I can't take her to the wedding and give her a glimpse of London, but I can take her to the Towers and care for her myself and send daily updates to London so that Mr. Gibson can feel relaxed and stay with you for as long as you want. What do you think, Clare?"
"Oh, I could not go," said Molly; "I should only be a trouble to everybody."
"Oh, I can't go," said Molly; "I'd just be a hassle to everyone."
"Nobody asked you for your opinion, little one. If we wise elders decide that you are to go, you must submit in silence."
"Nobody asked for your opinion, kid. If we wise elders decide you're going, you need to accept it quietly."
Meanwhile Mrs. Gibson was rapidly balancing advantages and disadvantages. Amongst the latter, jealousy came in predominant. Amongst the former,—it would sound well; Maria could then accompany Cynthia and herself as "their maid;" Mr. Gibson would stay longer with her, and it was always desirable to have a man at her beck and call in such a place as London; besides that, this identical man was gentlemanly and good-looking, and a favourite with her prosperous brother-in-law. The "ayes" had it.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Gibson was quickly weighing the pros and cons. Jealousy was definitely one of the cons. On the plus side, it would sound impressive; Maria could accompany Cynthia and her as "their maid"; Mr. Gibson would spend more time with her, and it was always nice to have a man available in a place like London; plus, this particular man was gentlemanly, attractive, and a favorite of her successful brother-in-law. The decision was made.
"What a charming plan! I cannot think of anything kinder or pleasanter for this poor darling. Only—what will Lady Cumnor say? I am modest for my family as much as for myself. She won't—"
"What a lovely idea! I can't think of anything kinder or nicer for this poor dear. But—what will Lady Cumnor think? I’m concerned about my family just as much as I am about myself. She won't
"You know mamma's sense of hospitality is never more gratified than when the house is quite full; and papa is just like her. Besides, she is fond of you, and grateful to our good Mr. Gibson, and will be fond of you, little one, when she knows you as I do."
"You know Mom's sense of hospitality is never more satisfied than when the house is completely full, and Dad is just like her. Plus, she likes you and is thankful to our good Mr. Gibson, and she'll like you, little one, once she gets to know you like I do."
Molly's heart sank within her at the prospect. Except on the one evening of her father's wedding-day, she had never even seen the outside of the Towers since that unlucky day in her childhood when she had fallen asleep on Clare's bed. She had a dread of the countess, a dislike to the house; only it seemed as if it was a solution to the problem of what to do with her, which had been perplexing every one all morning, and so evidently that it had caused her much distress. She kept silence, though her lips quivered from time to time. Oh, if Miss Brownings had not chosen this very time of all others to pay their monthly visit to Miss Hornblower! If she could only have gone there, and lived with them in their quaint, quiet, primitive way, instead of having to listen, without remonstrance, to hearing plans discussed about her, as if she was an inanimate chattel!
Molly's heart sank at the thought. Except for the one evening of her father's wedding day, she had never even seen the outside of the Towers since that unfortunate day in her childhood when she fell asleep on Clare's bed. She feared the countess and disliked the house; it just felt like a way to solve the problem of what to do with her, which had been troubling everyone all morning and had caused her a lot of distress. She stayed silent, even though her lips quivered from time to time. Oh, if only the Miss Brownings hadn't chosen this exact moment to visit Miss Hornblower! If she could have just gone there and lived with them in their quirky, quiet, simple way, instead of having to listen, without saying a word, to plans being discussed about her, as if she were just a lifeless object!
"She shall have the south pink room, opening out of mine by one door, you remember; and the dressing-room shall be made into a cosy little sitting-room for her, in case she likes to be by herself. Parkes shall attend upon her, and I'm sure Mr. Gibson must know Parkes's powers as a nurse by this time. We shall have all manner of agreeable people in the house to amuse her downstairs; and when she has got rid of this access of cold, I will drive her out every day, and write daily bulletins, as I said. Pray tell Mr. Gibson all that, and let it be considered as settled. I will come for her in the close carriage to-morrow, at eleven. And now may I see the lovely bride-elect, and give her mamma's present, and my own good wishes?"
"She'll have the south pink room, which opens into mine through one door, you remember; and the dressing room will be turned into a cozy little sitting room for her, in case she wants some time alone. Parkes will take care of her, and I'm sure Mr. Gibson knows by now how skilled Parkes is as a nurse. We’ll have all sorts of nice people in the house to entertain her downstairs, and once she’s gotten over this cold, I'll take her out every day and send daily updates, as I mentioned. Please tell Mr. Gibson all of this and let it be considered settled. I’ll come for her in the closed carriage tomorrow at eleven. And now, may I see the beautiful bride-to-be and give her mom’s gift along with my best wishes?"
So Cynthia came in, and demurely received the very proper present, and the equally correct congratulations, without testifying any very great delight or gratitude at either; for she was quite quick enough to detect there was no great afflux of affection accompanying either. But when she heard her mother quickly recapitulating all the details of the plan for Molly, Cynthia's eyes did sparkle with gladness; and almost to Lady Harriet's surprise, she thanked her as if she had conferred a personal favour upon her, Cynthia. Lady Harriet saw, too, that in a very quiet way, she had taken Molly's hand, and was holding it all the time, as if loth to think of their approaching separation—somehow, she and Lady Harriet were brought nearer together by this little action than they had ever been before.
So Cynthia came in and politely accepted the perfectly appropriate gift and the equally formal congratulations without showing much joy or gratitude for either; she was quick enough to notice that there wasn't a lot of genuine affection behind them. But when she heard her mother quickly going over all the details of the plan for Molly, Cynthia's eyes lit up with happiness; to Lady Harriet's surprise, she thanked her as if she had done her a personal favor. Lady Harriet also saw that, in a very subtle way, she had taken Molly's hand and was holding it the whole time, as if she were reluctant to think about their upcoming separation—somehow, this little gesture brought her and Lady Harriet closer together than they had ever been before.
If Molly had hoped that her father might have raised some obstacles to the project, she was disappointed. But, indeed, she was satisfied when she perceived how he seemed to feel that, by placing her under the care of Lady Harriet and Parkes, he should be relieved from anxiety; and how he spoke of this change of air and scene as being the very thing he had been wishing to secure for her; country air, and absence of excitement as this would be; for the only other place where he could have secured her these advantages, and at the same time sent her as an invalid, was to Hamley Hall; and he dreaded the associations there with the beginning of her present illness.
If Molly had hoped her dad would have raised some issues with the project, she was let down. However, she felt content when she noticed how he seemed to think that by putting her in the care of Lady Harriet and Parkes, he would be free from worry; and how he talked about this change of scenery and fresh air as exactly what he wanted for her. Country air and a lack of excitement would be perfect; the only other place where he could have given her these benefits while also treating her as an invalid was Hamley Hall, but he was anxious about the memories there connected to the start of her current illness.
So Molly was driven off in state the next day, leaving her own home all in confusion with the assemblage of boxes and trunks in the hall, and all the other symptoms of the approaching departure of the family for London and the wedding. All the morning Cynthia had been with her in her room, attending to the arrangement of Molly's clothes, instructing her what to wear with what, and rejoicing over the pretty smartnesses, which, having been prepared for her as bridesmaid, were now to serve as adornments for her visit to the Towers. Both Molly and Cynthia spoke about dress as if it was the very object of their lives; for each dreaded the introduction of more serious subjects; Cynthia more for Molly than herself. Only when the carriage was announced, and Molly was preparing to go downstairs, Cynthia said,—
So Molly was driven off in style the next day, leaving her home in chaos with boxes and trunks piled in the hallway, along with all the other signs that the family was getting ready to leave for London and the wedding. All morning, Cynthia had been with her in her room, helping to organize Molly's clothes, telling her what to wear together, and excitedly admiring the lovely outfits that had been prepared for her as a bridesmaid, which were now going to be used during her visit to the Towers. Both Molly and Cynthia talked about clothes as if it was the most important thing in their lives; they both wanted to avoid more serious topics, and Cynthia was especially concerned about Molly. Only when the carriage was announced and Molly was getting ready to head downstairs, did Cynthia say,—
"I am not going to thank you, Molly, or to tell you how I love you."
"I’m not going to thank you, Molly, or tell you how much I love you."
"Don't," said Molly, "I can't bear it."
"Don't," Molly said, "I can't handle it."
"Only you know you are to be my first visitor, and if you wear brown ribbons to a green gown, I'll turn you out of the house!" So they parted. Mr. Gibson was there in the hall to hand Molly in. He had ridden hard; and was now giving her two or three last injunctions as to her health.
"Only you know you're going to be my first visitor, and if you wear brown ribbons with that green dress, I'll kick you out of the house!" So they said their goodbyes. Mr. Gibson was in the hall to help Molly inside. He had ridden hard and was now giving her a few last pieces of advice about taking care of herself.
"Think of us on Thursday," said he. "I declare I don't know which of her three lovers she mayn't summon at the very last moment to act the part of bridegroom. I'm determined to be surprised at nothing; and will give her away with a good grace to whoever comes."
"Think of us on Thursday," he said. "Honestly, I have no idea which of her three lovers she might call at the last minute to play the role of bridegroom. I'm set on being surprised by nothing; I'll give her away happily to whoever shows up."
They drove away, and until they were out of sight of the house, Molly had enough to do to keep returning the kisses of the hand wafted to her by her stepmother out of the drawing-room window, while at the same time her eyes were fixed on a white handkerchief fluttering out of the attic from which she herself had watched Roger's departure nearly two years before. What changes time had brought!
They drove off, and until they were out of sight of the house, Molly was busy returning the kisses blown to her by her stepmother from the drawing-room window, while her eyes were focused on a white handkerchief waving out of the attic, from where she had watched Roger leave almost two years earlier. What changes time had brought!
When Molly arrived at the Towers she was convoyed into Lady Cumnor's presence by Lady Harriet. It was a mark of respect to the lady of the house, which the latter knew that her mother would expect; but she was anxious to get it over, and take Molly up into the room which she had been so busy arranging for her. Lady Cumnor was, however, very kind, if not positively gracious.
When Molly arrived at the Towers, Lady Harriet escorted her to meet Lady Cumnor. This was a sign of respect towards the lady of the house, which Lady Harriet knew her mother would expect; however, she was eager to finish this and take Molly to the room she had been preparing for her. Lady Cumnor was very kind, if not exactly gracious.
"You are Lady Harriet's visitor, my dear," said she, "and I hope she will take good care of you. If not, come and complain of her to me." It was as near an approach to a joke as Lady Cumnor ever perpetrated, and from it Lady Harriet knew that her mother was pleased by Molly's manners and appearance.
"You’re a guest of Lady Harriet, my dear," she said, "and I hope she takes good care of you. If not, feel free to come and tell me about it." It was about as close to a joke as Lady Cumnor ever got, and from it, Lady Harriet understood that her mother was happy with Molly’s manners and looks.
"Now, here you are in your own kingdom; and into this room I shan't venture to come without express permission. Here is the last new Quarterly, and the last new novel, and the last new Essays. Now, my dear, you needn't come down again to-day unless you like it. Parkes shall bring you everything and anything you want. You must get strong as fast as you can, for all sorts of great and famous people are coming to-morrow and the next day, and I think you'll like to see them. Suppose for to-day you only come down to lunch, and if you like it, in the evening. Dinner is such a wearily long meal, if one isn't strong; and you wouldn't miss much, for there's only my cousin Charles in the house now, and he is the personification of sensible silence."
"Now, here you are in your own space; and I won’t come into this room without your permission. Here’s the latest Quarterly, the newest novel, and the latest essays. You really don’t need to come down again today unless you want to. Parkes will bring you anything you need. You should try to get better as quickly as possible because all kinds of important and famous people are coming tomorrow and the day after, and I think you’ll enjoy meeting them. Why don’t you just come down for lunch today, and maybe for dinner if you’re up for it? Dinner is such a long meal if you’re not feeling strong; and you wouldn’t miss much anyway, since it’s just my cousin Charles here right now, and he’s the epitome of quiet sense."
Molly was only too glad to allow Lady Harriet to decide everything for her. It had begun to rain, and was altogether a gloomy day for August; and there was a small fire of scented wood burning cheerfully in the sitting-room appropriated to her. High up, it commanded a wide and pleasant view over the park, and from it could be seen the spire of Hollingford Church, which gave Molly a pleasant idea of neighbourhood to home. She was left alone, lying on the sofa—books near her, wood crackling and blazing, wafts of wind bringing the beating rain against the window, and so enhancing the sense of indoor comfort by the outdoor contrast. Parkes was unpacking for her. Lady Harriet had introduced Parkes to Molly by saying, "Now, Molly, this is Mrs. Parkes, the only person I am ever afraid of. She scolds me if I dirty myself with my paints, just as if I was a little child; and she makes me go to bed when I want to sit up,"—Parkes was smiling grimly all the time;—"so to get rid of her tyranny I give her you as victim. Parkes, rule over Miss Gibson with a rod of iron; make her eat and drink, and rest and sleep, and dress as you think wisest and best."
Molly was more than happy to let Lady Harriet make all the decisions for her. It had started to rain, and it was a dreary day for August; a small fire of scented wood crackled cheerfully in the sitting room assigned to her. From up high, it offered a wide and pleasant view of the park, and she could see the spire of Hollingford Church, which gave Molly a nice sense of being close to home. She lay alone on the sofa—books nearby, the wood crackling and blazing, gusts of wind driving the rain against the window, enhancing the cozy feel of being indoors in contrast to the weather outside. Parkes was unpacking for her. Lady Harriet had introduced Parkes to Molly by saying, "Now, Molly, this is Mrs. Parkes, the only person I'm ever scared of. She scolds me if I get my clothes dirty with my paints, just like I'm a little kid; and she makes me go to bed when I want to stay up,"—Parkes smiled grimly the whole time;—"so to escape her tyranny, I’m giving her you as a victim. Parkes, take charge of Miss Gibson with an iron fist; make her eat and drink, rest and sleep, and dress how you think is best."
Parkes had begun her reign by putting Molly on the sofa, and saying, "If you will give me your keys, Miss, I will unpack your things, and let you know when it is time for me to arrange your hair, preparatory to luncheon." For if Lady Harriet used familiar colloquialisms from time to time, she certainly had not learnt it from Parkes, who piqued herself on the correctness of her language.
Parkes had started her time in charge by putting Molly on the sofa and saying, "If you give me your keys, Miss, I’ll unpack your things and let you know when it’s time for me to do your hair before lunch." Because while Lady Harriet occasionally used casual language, she definitely hadn’t picked it up from Parkes, who prided herself on her precise language.
When Molly went down to lunch she found "cousin Charles," with his aunt, Lady Cumnor. He was a certain Sir Charles Morton, the son of Lady Cumnor's only sister: a plain, sandy-haired man of thirty-five or so; immensely rich, very sensible, awkward, and reserved. He had had a chronic attachment, of many years' standing, to his cousin, Lady Harriet, who did not care for him in the least, although it was the marriage very earnestly desired for her by her mother. Lady Harriet was, however, on friendly terms with him, ordered him about, and told him what to do, and what to leave undone, without having even a doubt as to the willingness of his obedience. She had given him his cue about Molly.
When Molly went down for lunch, she found her "cousin Charles" with his aunt, Lady Cumnor. He was Sir Charles Morton, the son of Lady Cumnor's only sister: a plain, sandy-haired man in his mid-thirties; incredibly wealthy, very sensible, awkward, and reserved. He had been chronically attached to his cousin, Lady Harriet, for many years, but she didn't care for him at all, even though her mother desperately wanted them to marry. Lady Harriet was friendly with him, bossed him around, and told him what to do and what not to do, having no doubt he would comply. She had already set him up regarding Molly.
"Now, Charles, the girl wants to be interested and amused without having to take any trouble for herself; she is too delicate to be very active either in mind or body. Just look after her when the house gets full, and place her where she can hear and see everything and everybody, without any fuss and responsibility."
"Now, Charles, the girl wants to be entertained and engaged without putting in any effort herself; she’s too fragile to be very active, whether mentally or physically. Just keep an eye on her when the house gets busy, and make sure she can hear and see everything and everyone, without any hassle or responsibility."
So Sir Charles began this day at luncheon by taking Molly under his quiet protection. He did not say much to her; but what he did say was thoroughly friendly and sympathetic; and Molly began, as he and Lady Harriet intended that she should, to have a kind of pleasant reliance upon him. Then in the evening while the rest of the family were at dinner—after Molly's tea and hour of quiet repose, Parkes came and dressed her in some of the new clothes prepared for the Kirkpatrick visit, and did her hair in some new and pretty way, so that when Molly looked at herself in the cheval-glass, she scarcely knew the elegant reflection to be that of herself. She was fetched down by Lady Harriet into the great long formidable drawing-room, which as an interminable place of pacing, had haunted her dreams ever since her childhood. At the further end sat Lady Cumnor at her tapestry work; the light of fire and candle seemed all concentrated on that one bright part where presently Lady Harriet made tea, and Lord Cumnor went to sleep, and Sir Charles read passages aloud from the Edinburgh Review to the three ladies at their work.
So Sir Charles started this day at lunch by quietly looking out for Molly. He didn’t say much to her, but his words were genuinely friendly and supportive, and Molly began to feel, as he and Lady Harriet hoped she would, a pleasant trust in him. Then in the evening, while the rest of the family had dinner—after Molly's tea and a quiet moment, Parkes came and dressed her in some of the new outfits prepared for the Kirkpatrick visit, styling her hair in a new and pretty way. When Molly looked at herself in the full-length mirror, she hardly recognized her elegant reflection. Lady Harriet brought her downstairs to the long, intimidating drawing-room, which had haunted her dreams since childhood as a place of endless pacing. At the far end, Lady Cumnor sat working on her tapestry; the light from the fire and candles seemed focused on that one bright spot where Lady Harriet made tea, Lord Cumnor dozed off, and Sir Charles read passages aloud from the Edinburgh Review to the three ladies at their work.
When Molly went to bed she was constrained to admit that staying at the Towers as a visitor was rather pleasant than otherwise; and she tried to reconcile old impressions with new ones, until she fell asleep. There was another comparatively quiet day before the expected guests began to arrive in the evening. Lady Harriet took Molly a drive in her little pony-carriage; and for the first time for many weeks Molly began to feel the delightful spring of returning health; the dance of youthful spirits in the fresh air cleared by the previous day's rain.
When Molly went to bed, she had to admit that staying at the Towers as a guest was more enjoyable than she expected; she tried to reconcile her old feelings with her new experiences until she fell asleep. The next day was relatively quiet before the anticipated guests started to arrive in the evening. Lady Harriet took Molly for a ride in her little pony carriage, and for the first time in weeks, Molly began to feel the wonderful energy of returning health; the excitement of her youthful spirit in the fresh air, cleared by the rain from the day before.
CHAPTER LVIII.
REVIVING HOPES AND BRIGHTENING PROSPECTS.
"If you can without fatigue, dear, do come down to dinner to-day; you'll then see the people one by one as they appear, instead of having to encounter a crowd of strangers. Hollingford will be here too. I hope you'll find it pleasant."
"If you can without getting tired, dear, please come down to dinner today; you'll be able to see everyone as they arrive, instead of facing a crowd of strangers. Hollingford will be here too. I hope you have a nice time."
So Molly made her appearance at dinner that day; and got to know, by sight at least, some of the most distinguished of the visitors at the Towers. The next day was Thursday, Cynthia's wedding-day; bright and fine in the country, whatever it might be in London. And there were several letters from the home-people awaiting Molly when she came downstairs to the late breakfast. For, every day, every hour, she was gaining strength and health, and she was unwilling to continue her invalid habits any longer than was necessary. She looked so much better that Sir Charles noticed it to Lady Harriet; and several of the visitors spoke of her this morning as a very pretty, lady-like, and graceful girl. This was Thursday; on Friday, as Lady Harriet had told her, some visitors from the more immediate neighbourhood were expected to stay over the Sunday; but she had not mentioned their names, and when Molly went down into the drawing-room before dinner, she was almost startled by perceiving Roger Hamley in the centre of a group of gentlemen, who were all talking together eagerly, and, as it seemed to her, making him the object of their attention. He made a hitch in his conversation, lost the precise meaning of a question addressed to him, answered it rather hastily, and made his way to where Molly was sitting, a little behind Lady Harriet. He had heard that she was staying at the Towers, but he was almost as much surprised by hers, as she was by his unexpected appearance, for he had only seen her once or twice since his return from Africa, and then in the guise of an invalid. Now in her pretty evening dress, with her hair beautifully dressed, her delicate complexion flushed a little with timidity, yet her movements and manners bespeaking quiet ease, Roger hardly recognized her, although he acknowledged her identity. He began to feel that admiring deference which most young men experience when conversing with a very pretty girl: a sort of desire to obtain her good opinion in a manner very different to his old familiar friendliness. He was annoyed when Sir Charles, whose especial charge she still was, came up to take her in to dinner. He could not quite understand the smile of mutual intelligence that passed between the two, each being aware of Lady Harriet's plan of sheltering Molly from the necessity of talking, and acting in conformity with her wishes as much as with their own. Roger found himself puzzling, and watching them from time to time during dinner. Again in the evening he sought her out, but found her again pre-occupied with one of the young men staying in the house, who had had the advantage of two days of mutual interest, and acquaintance with the daily events and jokes and anxieties of the family circle. Molly could not help wishing to break off all this trivial talk and to make room for Roger: she had so much to ask him about everything at the Hall; he was, and had been such a stranger to them all for these last two months, and more. But though each wanted to speak to the other more than to any one else in the room, it so happened that everything seemed to conspire to prevent it. Lord Hollingford carried off Roger to the cluster of middle-aged men; he was wanted to give his opinion upon some scientific subject. Mr. Ernulphus Watson, the young man referred to above, kept his place by Molly, as the prettiest girl in the room, and almost dazed her by his never-ceasing flow of clever small-talk. She looked so tired and pale at last that the ever-watchful Lady Harriet sent Sir Charles to the rescue, and after a few words with Lady Harriet, Roger saw Molly quietly leave the room; and a sentence or two which he heard Lady Harriet address to her cousin made him know that it was for the night. Those sentences might bear another interpretation than the obvious one.
So Molly showed up for dinner that day and got to know, at least by sight, some of the most prominent guests at the Towers. The next day was Thursday, Cynthia's wedding day; bright and beautiful in the countryside, regardless of what it might be like in London. There were several letters from home waiting for Molly when she came downstairs for a late breakfast. Every day, every hour, she was gaining strength and health, and she was eager to stop her invalid habits as soon as possible. She looked so much better that Sir Charles remarked on it to Lady Harriet, and several guests mentioned this morning that she was a very pretty, elegant, and graceful girl. This was Thursday; on Friday, as Lady Harriet had informed her, some visitors from the nearby area were expected to stay over the weekend; however, she hadn’t mentioned their names. When Molly went into the drawing room before dinner, she was almost surprised to see Roger Hamley in the center of a group of men who were all eagerly talking together, seemingly making him the focus of their attention. He stumbled in his conversation, lost track of a question directed at him, replied somewhat hastily, and moved over to where Molly was sitting, a little behind Lady Harriet. He had heard she was staying at the Towers, but he was just as surprised by her presence as she was by his sudden arrival, since he had only seen her once or twice since coming back from Africa, and those times had been when she was unwell. Now, in her lovely evening dress with her hair beautifully styled, her delicate complexion slightly flushed with shyness yet her movements and demeanor exuding calm confidence, Roger hardly recognized her, even though he knew who she was. He began to feel that kind of admiring respect that most young men experience when talking to a very attractive girl: a desire to win her approval in a way that was different from their previous casual friendship. He felt annoyed when Sir Charles, who was still responsible for her, came over to take her in for dinner. He couldn't quite understand the knowing smile that passed between them, each aware of Lady Harriet's plan to shield Molly from having to talk and acting in accordance with her wishes as much as their own. During dinner, Roger found himself puzzled, observing them from time to time. Later that evening, he sought her out again, but found her engrossed in conversation with one of the young men staying at the house, who had enjoyed two days of shared interest and familiarity with the family’s daily events and jokes. Molly couldn't help but wish to interrupt all this trivial chatter to make space for Roger; she had so much to ask him about everything at the Hall; he was, and had been, such a stranger to all of them for these past couple of months and more. But although each wanted to speak to the other more than anyone else in the room, it seemed like everything conspired to keep them apart. Lord Hollingford pulled Roger away to a group of middle-aged men; he was needed to give his opinion on some scientific topic. Mr. Ernulphus Watson, the young man mentioned earlier, stayed close to Molly because she was the prettiest girl in the room and almost overwhelmed her with his nonstop stream of clever small talk. She looked so tired and pale by the end that the ever-watchful Lady Harriet sent Sir Charles to the rescue. After a few words with Lady Harriet, Roger saw Molly quietly leave the room, and a sentence or two he heard Lady Harriet say to her cousin made him realize it was for the night. Those sentences could have different meanings beyond the obvious one.
"Really, Charles, considering that she is in your charge, I think you might have saved her from the chatter and patter of Mr. Watson; I can only stand it when I am in the strongest health."
"Honestly, Charles, since she’s under your care, I think you could have protected her from Mr. Watson's constant chatter; I can only handle it when I’m feeling my best."
Why was Molly in Sir Charles's charge? why? Then Roger remembered many little things that might serve to confirm the fancy he had got into his head; and he went to bed puzzled and annoyed. It seemed to him such an incongruous, hastily-got-up sort of engagement, if engagement it really was. On Saturday they were more fortunate: they had a long tête-à-tête in the most public place in the house—on a sofa in the hall where Molly was resting at Lady Harriet's command before going upstairs after a walk. Roger was passing through, and saw her, and came to her. Standing before her, and making pretence of playing with the gold-fish in a great marble basin close at hand,—
Why was Molly under Sir Charles's care? Why? Then Roger recalled various little details that might support the idea he had in his mind, leaving him puzzled and annoyed as he went to bed. It struck him as such a mismatched, hastily arranged sort of situation, if it truly was a situation at all. On Saturday, they had better luck: they enjoyed a long tête-à-tête in the most public spot in the house—a sofa in the hall where Molly was resting at Lady Harriet's request before heading upstairs after a walk. As Roger walked by, he spotted her and approached. Standing in front of her, he pretended to play with the goldfish in a large marble basin nearby—
"I was very unlucky," said he. "I wanted to get near you last night, but it was quite impossible. You were so busy talking to Mr. Watson, until Sir Charles Morton came and carried you off—with such an air of authority! Have you known him long?"
"I had really bad luck," he said. "I wanted to get close to you last night, but it was totally impossible. You were so caught up talking to Mr. Watson until Sir Charles Morton showed up and took you away—with such an air of authority! Have you known him for a while?"
Now this was not at all the manner in which Roger had pre-determined that he would speak of Sir Charles to Molly; but the words came out in spite of himself.
Now this was not at all how Roger had planned to talk about Sir Charles to Molly; but the words came out despite him.
"No! not long. I never saw him before I came here—on Tuesday. But Lady Harriet told him to see that I did not get tired, for I wanted to come down; but you know I have not been strong. He is a cousin of Lady Harriet's, and does all she tells him to do."
"No! Not for long. I had never seen him before I got here on Tuesday. But Lady Harriet told him to make sure I didn’t get too tired because I wanted to come down; but you know I haven't been feeling well. He’s a cousin of Lady Harriet's, and he does everything she asks him to."
"Oh! he is not handsome; but I believe he is a very sensible man."
"Oh! He's not handsome, but I think he's a really smart guy."
"Yes! I should think so. He is so silent though, that I can hardly judge."
"Yes! I think so. He's so quiet, though, that I can barely judge."
"He bears a very high character in the county," said Roger, willing now to give him his full due.
"He has a great reputation in the county," said Roger, now ready to give him his full credit.
Molly stood up.
Molly stood up.
"I must go upstairs," she said; "I only sate down here for a minute or two because Lady Harriet bade me."
"I need to go upstairs," she said; "I only sat down here for a minute or two because Lady Harriet asked me to."
"Stop a little longer," said he. "This is really the pleasantest place; this basin of water-lilies gives one the idea, if not the sensation, of coolness; besides—it seems so long since I saw you, and I have a message from my father to give you. He is very angry with you."
"Stay a little longer," he said. "This is truly the nicest spot; this pond of water lilies gives people the idea, if not the feeling, of coolness. Plus—it feels like ages since I last saw you, and I have a message from my dad for you. He's really upset with you."
"Angry with me?" said Molly in surprise.
"Are you angry with me?" Molly asked in surprise.
"Yes! He heard that you had come here for change of air; and he was offended that you hadn't come to us—to the Hall, instead. He said that you should have remembered old friends!"
"Yes! He heard that you came here for a change of scenery, and he was upset that you didn’t come to us— to the Hall, instead. He said you should have remembered your old friends!"
Molly took all this quite gravely, and did not at first notice the smile on his face.
Molly took all of this very seriously and didn't initially notice the smile on his face.
"Oh! I am so sorry!" said she. "But will you please tell him how it all happened. Lady Harriet called the very day when it was settled that I was not to go to—" Cynthia's wedding, she was going to add, but she suddenly stopped short, and, blushing deeply, changed the expression, "go to London, and she planned it all in a minute, and convinced mamma and papa, and had her own way. There was really no resisting her."
"Oh! I’m so sorry!" she said. "But could you please tell him how it all happened? Lady Harriet called the very day it was decided that I wasn’t going to—” She was about to say Cynthia's wedding, but she suddenly stopped, blushing deeply, and changed her words, “going to London. She planned everything in an instant, convinced Mom and Dad, and got her way. There was really no resisting her."
"I think you will have to tell all this to my father yourself if you mean to make your peace. Why can you not come on to the Hall when you leave the Towers?"
"I think you'll need to tell my father all of this yourself if you want to make things right. Why can't you come to the Hall when you leave the Towers?"
To go in the cool manner suggested from one house to another, after the manner of a royal progress, was not at all according to Molly's primitive home-keeping notions. She made answer,—
To casually stroll from one house to another, like a royal procession, was not at all in line with Molly's simple, home-centered ideas. She replied,—
"I should like it very much, some time. But I must go home first. They will want me more than ever now—"
"I would really like that sometime. But I need to go home first. They will need me more than ever now—"
Again she felt herself touching on a sore subject, and stopped short. Roger became annoyed at her so constantly conjecturing what he must be feeling on the subject of Cynthia's marriage. With sympathetic perception she had discerned that the idea must give him pain; and perhaps she also knew that he would dislike to show the pain; but she had not the presence of mind or ready wit to give a skilful turn to the conversation. All this annoyed Roger, he could hardly tell why. He determined to take the metaphorical bull by the horns. Until that was done, his footing with Molly would always be insecure; as it always is between two friends, who mutually avoid a subject to which their thoughts perpetually recur.
Again, she realized she was touching on a sensitive topic and stopped abruptly. Roger felt irritated by her constant guesses about what he might be feeling regarding Cynthia's marriage. With a sense of empathy, she recognized that the thought must be painful for him; and maybe she even knew that he wouldn't want to show that pain. But she lacked the quick thinking or cleverness to shift the conversation skillfully. This all frustrated Roger, although he could hardly explain why. He decided to confront the issue directly. Until he did that, his relationship with Molly would always feel unstable, just like it often is between two friends who keep avoiding a topic their minds keep returning to.
"Ah, yes!" said he. "Of course you must be of double importance now Miss Kirkpatrick has left you. I saw her marriage in The Times yesterday."
"Ah, yes!" he said. "Of course you must be twice as important now that Miss Kirkpatrick has left you. I saw her wedding in The Times yesterday."
His tone of voice was changed in speaking of her, but her name had been named between them, and that was the great thing to accomplish.
His tone of voice changed when he talked about her, but her name had been mentioned between them, and that was the big accomplishment.
"Still," he continued, "I think I must urge my father's claim for a short visit, and all the more, because I can really see the apparent improvement in your health since I came,—only yesterday. Besides, Molly," it was the old familiar Roger of former days who spoke now, "I think you could help us at home. Aimée is shy and awkward with my father, and he has never taken quite kindly to her,—yet I know they would like and value each other, if some one could but bring them together,—and it would be such a comfort to me if this could take place before I have to leave."
"Still," he said, "I really think I should encourage my dad's request for a short visit, especially since I've noticed how much better your health seems since I got here—just yesterday, in fact. Besides, Molly," he sounded just like the familiar Roger from before, "I believe you could help us at home. Aimée is shy and awkward around my dad, and he hasn't always warmed up to her—but I know they would get along and appreciate each other if someone could just connect them. It would mean so much to me if this could happen before I have to leave."
"To leave—are you going away again?"
"Are you leaving again?"
"Yes. Have you not heard? I didn't complete my engagement. I'm going again in September for six months."
"Yes. Haven't you heard? I didn't finish my engagement. I'm going back in September for six months."
"I remember. But somehow I fancied—you seemed to have settled down into the old ways at the Hall."
"I remember. But for some reason, I thought—you looked like you had gotten comfortable with the old routines at the Hall."
"So my father appears to think. But it is not likely I shall ever make it my home again; and that is partly the reason why I want my father to adopt the notion of Aimée's living with him. Ah, here are all the people coming back from their walk. However, I shall see you again; perhaps this afternoon we may get a little quiet time, for I have a great deal to consult you about."
"So my dad seems to think. But it's unlikely I'll ever call it home again; and that’s partly why I want my dad to consider the idea of Aimée living with him. Ah, here come all the people coming back from their walk. Still, I’ll see you again; maybe we can find some quiet time this afternoon, because I have a lot I want to talk to you about."
They separated then, and Molly went upstairs very happy, very full and warm at her heart; it was so pleasant to have Roger talking to her in this way, like a friend; she had once thought that she could never look upon the great brown-bearded celebrity in the former light of almost brotherly intimacy, but now it was all coming right. There was no opportunity for renewed confidences that afternoon. Molly went a quiet decorous drive as fourth with two dowagers and one spinster; but it was very pleasant to think that she should see him again at dinner, and again to-morrow. On the Sunday evening, as they all were sitting and loitering on the lawn before dinner, Roger went on with what he had to say about the position of his sister-in-law in his father's house: the mutual bond between the mother and grandfather being the child; who was also, through jealousy, the bone of contention and the severance. There were many little details to be given in order to make Molly quite understand the difficulty of the situations on both sides; and the young man and the girl became absorbed in what they were talking about, and wandered away into the shade of the long avenue. Lady Harriet separated herself from a group and came up to Lord Hollingford, who was sauntering a little apart, and putting her arm within his with the familiarity of a favourite sister, she said,—
They parted ways, and Molly went upstairs feeling very happy, full of warmth in her heart; it was nice to have Roger talking to her like this, as a friend. She had once thought she could never see the famous brown-bearded celebrity in the same light of almost brotherly closeness, but now everything felt right. There wasn’t a chance for more heartfelt conversations that afternoon. Molly had a quiet, proper drive as the fourth passenger with two older women and one single woman; but it felt great to think she would see him again at dinner, and again the next day. On Sunday evening, as they sat and relaxed on the lawn before dinner, Roger continued discussing his sister-in-law’s situation in his father’s house: the shared connection between the mother and grandfather being the child; who was also, due to jealousy, the source of conflict and division. There were many small details to explain so that Molly could fully understand the complexity of the situations on both sides; and the young man and the girl got so wrapped up in their conversation that they wandered away into the shade of the long avenue. Lady Harriet detached herself from a group and walked over to Lord Hollingford, who was strolling a little away, and with the familiarity of a beloved sister, she said,—
"Don't you think that your pattern young man, and my favourite young woman, are finding out each other's good qualities?"
"Don't you think that your good-looking guy and my favorite girl are discovering each other's great qualities?"
He had not been observing as she had been.
He hadn't been paying attention like she had.
"Who do you mean?" said he.
"Who are you talking about?" he asked.
"Look along the avenue; who are those?"
"Look down the street; who are those people?"
"Mr. Hamley and—is it not Miss Gibson? I can't quite make out. Oh! if you're letting your fancy run off in that direction, I can tell you it's quite waste of time. Roger Hamley is a man who will soon have an European reputation!"
"Mr. Hamley and—is it Miss Gibson? I can't quite tell. Oh! if you're letting your imagination go there, I can assure you it's a complete waste of time. Roger Hamley is a man who will soon have a European reputation!"
"That's very possible, and yet it doesn't make any difference in my opinion. Molly Gibson is capable of appreciating him."
"That’s definitely possible, but in my opinion, it doesn’t change anything. Molly Gibson is capable of appreciating him."
"She is a very pretty, good little country-girl. I don't mean to say anything against her, but—"
"She is a really cute, nice little country girl. I don't want to say anything bad about her, but—"
"Remember the Charity Ball; you called her 'unusually intelligent' after you had danced with her there. But, after all, we are like the genie and the fairy in the Arabian Nights' Entertainment, who each cried up the merits of the Prince Caramalzaman and the Princess Badoura."
"Remember the Charity Ball? You called her 'exceptionally smart' after you danced with her there. But, in the end, we are like the genie and the fairy in the Arabian Nights' Entertainment, both praising the qualities of Prince Caramalzaman and Princess Badoura."
"Hamley is not a marrying man."
"Hamley isn't the type to get married."
"How do you know?"
"How do you know that?"
"I know that he has very little private fortune, and I know that science is not a remunerative profession, if profession it can be called."
"I know that he has very little personal wealth, and I know that science isn't a well-paying career, if you can even call it a career."
"Oh, if that's all—a hundred things may happen—some one may leave him a fortune—or this tiresome little heir that nobody wanted, may die."
"Oh, if that's all—a hundred things could happen—someone might leave him a fortune—or this annoying little heir that nobody wanted might die."
"Hush, Harriet, that's the worst of allowing yourself to plan far ahead for the future; you are sure to contemplate the death of some one, and to reckon upon the contingency as affecting events."
"Hush, Harriet, that's the problem with planning too far ahead for the future; you're bound to think about someone dying and consider how that might change things."
"As if lawyers were not always doing something of the kind!"
"As if lawyers weren't always up to something like that!"
"Leave it to those to whom it is necessary. I dislike planning marriages or looking forward to deaths about equally."
"Leave it to those who need to handle it. I dislike planning weddings and anticipating deaths just as much."
"You are getting very prosaic and tiresome, Hollingford!"
"You’re being really dull and boring, Hollingford!"
"Only getting!" said he smiling; "I thought you had always looked upon me as a tiresome matter-of-fact fellow."
"Just getting!" he said with a smile; "I thought you always saw me as a boring, straightforward guy."
"Now, if you're going to fish for a compliment I am gone. Only remember my prophecy when my vision comes to pass; or make a bet, and whoever wins shall spend the money on a present to Prince Caramalzaman or Princess Badoura, as the case may be."
"Now, if you’re just looking for a compliment, I’m out. Just remember my prediction when it comes true; or make a wager, and whoever wins will use the money to get a gift for Prince Caramalzaman or Princess Badoura, depending on the situation."
Lord Hollingford remembered his sister's words as he heard Roger say to Molly as he was leaving the Towers on the following day,—
Lord Hollingford recalled his sister's words as he heard Roger say to Molly while leaving the Towers the next day,—
"Then I may tell my father that you will come and pay him a visit next week? You don't know what pleasure it will give him." He had been on the point of saying "will give us," but he had an instinct which told him it was as well to consider Molly's promised visit as exclusively made to his father.
"Then can I tell my dad that you’ll come and visit him next week? You have no idea how happy it will make him." He was about to say "will make us," but he instinctively felt it was better to think of Molly's upcoming visit as solely for his dad.
The next day Molly went home; she was astonished at herself for being so sorry to leave the Towers; and found it difficult, if not impossible, to reconcile the long-fixed idea of the house as a place wherein to suffer all a child's tortures of dismay and forlornness with her new and fresh conception. She had gained health, she had had pleasure, the faint fragrance of a new and unacknowledged hope had stolen into her life. No wonder that Mr. Gibson was struck with the improvement in her looks, and Mrs. Gibson impressed with her increased grace.
The next day, Molly went home; she was surprised at how sad she felt about leaving the Towers. She struggled to reconcile the long-held belief that the house was a place of all a child's pain and loneliness with her fresh, new perspective. She had regained her health, experienced joy, and a subtle hint of new and unrecognized hope had entered her life. It's no wonder Mr. Gibson noticed the improvement in her appearance, and Mrs. Gibson was taken with her newfound grace.
"Ah, Molly," said she, "it's really wonderful to see what a little good society will do for a girl. Even a week of association with such people as one meets with at the Towers is, as somebody said of a lady of rank whose name I have forgotten, 'a polite education in itself.' There is something quite different about you—a je ne sais quoi—that would tell me at once that you have been mingling with the aristocracy. With all her charms, it was what my darling Cynthia wanted; not that Mr. Henderson thought so, for a more devoted lover can hardly be conceived. He absolutely bought her a parure of diamonds. I was obliged to say to him that I had studied to preserve her simplicity of taste, and that he must not corrupt her with too much luxury. But I was rather disappointed at their going off without a maid. It was the one blemish in the arrangements—the spot in the sun. Dear Cynthia, when I think of her, I do assure you, Molly, I make it my nightly prayer that I may be able to find you just such another husband. And all this time you have never told me who you met at the Towers?"
"Ah, Molly," she said, "it's really amazing to see what a little good company can do for a girl. Even a week of hanging out with people at the Towers is, as someone once said about a lady of high status whose name I've forgotten, 'a polite education in itself.' There's something different about you—a je ne sais quoi—that tells me right away you've been socializing with the aristocracy. Despite all her charms, it was what my darling Cynthia needed; not that Mr. Henderson thought so, since he could hardly be a more devoted lover. He even bought her a diamond set. I had to tell him that I had tried to keep her taste simple and that he shouldn't spoil her with too much luxury. But I was a bit disappointed that they left without a maid. That was the one flaw in the plans—the blemish on the sunshine. Dear Cynthia, when I think of her, I promise you, Molly, I make it my nightly prayer that I can find you just as good a husband. And all this time you haven’t told me who you met at the Towers?"
Molly ran over a list of names. Roger Hamley's came last.
Molly went through a list of names. Roger Hamley's was last.
"Upon my word! That young man is pushing his way up!"
"Wow! That young guy is making his way to the top!"
"The Hamleys are a far older family than the Cumnors," said Molly, flushing up.
"The Hamleys have been around for much longer than the Cumnors," said Molly, blushing.
"Now, Molly, I can't have you democratic. Rank is a great distinction. It is quite enough to have dear papa with democratic tendencies. But we won't begin to quarrel. Now that you and I are left alone, we ought to be bosom friends, and I hope we shall be. Roger Hamley did not say much about that unfortunate little Osborne Hamley, I suppose?"
"Now, Molly, I can't have you being democratic. Rank is an important distinction. It's already enough to have dear Dad with democratic views. But let's not start arguing. Now that you and I are alone, we should be close friends, and I hope we will be. Roger Hamley didn’t say much about that unfortunate little Osborne Hamley, did he?"
"On the contrary, he says his father dotes on the child; and he seemed very proud of him, himself."
"On the contrary, he says his dad spoils the kid; and he seemed really proud of him, too."
"I thought the Squire must be getting very much infatuated with something. I daresay the French mother takes care of that. Why! he has scarcely taken any notice of you for this month or more, and before that you were everything."
"I thought the Squire must be really taken with something. I guess the French mother is handling that. Wow! He’s hardly paid any attention to you for over a month, and before that, you were everything to him."
It was about six weeks since Cynthia's engagement had become publicly known, and that might have had something to do with the Squire's desertion, Molly thought. But she said,—
It had been about six weeks since Cynthia's engagement became public knowledge, and that might have contributed to the Squire's abandonment, Molly thought. But she said,—
"The Squire has sent me an invitation to go and stay there next week if you have no objection, mamma. They seem to want a companion for Mrs. Osborne Hamley, who is not very strong."
"The Squire has invited me to come and stay there next week, if you don't mind, mom. They seem to be looking for someone to keep Mrs. Osborne Hamley company, as she isn't very strong."
"I can hardly tell what to say,—I don't like your having to associate with a Frenchwoman of doubtful rank; and I can't bear the thought of losing my child—my only daughter now. I did ask Helen Kirkpatrick, but she can't come for some time; and the house is going to be altered. Papa has consented to build me another room at last, for Cynthia and Mr. Henderson will, of course, come and see us; we shall have many more visitors, I expect, and your bedroom will make a capital lumber-room; and Maria wants a week's holiday. I am always so unwilling to put any obstacles in the way of any one's pleasure,—weakly unwilling, I believe,—but it certainly would be very convenient to have you out of the house for a few days; so, for once, I will waive my own wish for your companionship, and plead your cause with papa."
"I hardly know what to say—I don't like the idea of you being around a Frenchwoman of questionable background; and I can't stand the thought of losing my child—my only daughter now. I did ask Helen Kirkpatrick, but she can't come for a while; plus, the house is going to be remodeled. Dad has finally agreed to build me another room because Cynthia and Mr. Henderson will definitely be coming to visit us; I expect we'll have many more guests, and your bedroom would make a great storage space; plus, Maria wants a week's vacation. I'm always so reluctant to put any obstacles in anyone's way—perhaps too reluctant—but it really would be very convenient to have you out of the house for a few days; so, for once, I will set aside my own wishes for your company and advocate for you with Dad."
Miss Brownings came to call and hear the double batch of news. Mrs. Goodenough had called the very day on which they had returned from Miss Hornblower's, to tell them the astounding fact of Molly Gibson having gone on a visit to the Towers; not to come back at night, but to sleep there, to be there for two or three days, just as if she was a young lady of quality. So Miss Brownings came to hear all the details of the wedding from Mrs. Gibson, and the history of Molly's visit at the Towers as well. But Mrs. Gibson did not like this divided interest, and some of her old jealousy of Molly's intimacy at the Towers had returned.
Miss Brownings came by to get the latest news. Mrs. Goodenough had called on the very day they returned from Miss Hornblower’s to share the surprising news that Molly Gibson was visiting the Towers; she wasn't just going for the day but was staying overnight for two or three days, as if she were a young lady of high status. So Miss Brownings came to hear all about the wedding from Mrs. Gibson and to learn the details of Molly’s stay at the Towers too. However, Mrs. Gibson wasn't happy with this mixed attention, and some of her old jealousy over Molly's closeness to the Towers came back.
"Now, Molly," said Miss Browning, "let us hear how you behaved among the great folks. You must not be set up with all their attention; remember that they pay it to you for your good father's sake."
"Now, Molly," said Miss Browning, "let's hear how you acted around the important people. Don't get too full of yourself with all their attention; remember, they’re doing it because of your good father."
"Molly is, I think, quite aware," put in Mrs. Gibson, in her most soft and languid tone, "that she owes her privilege of visiting at such a house to Lady Cumnor's kind desire to set my mind quite at liberty at the time of Cynthia's marriage. As soon as ever I had returned home, Molly came back; indeed, I should not have thought it right to let her intrude upon their kindness beyond what was absolutely necessary."
"Molly is, I believe, quite aware," Mrs. Gibson interjected in her soft and relaxed tone, “that she gets to visit such a house because Lady Cumnor generously wanted to ease my mind during Cynthia's wedding. As soon as I got back home, Molly returned; honestly, I wouldn’t have thought it right to let her take advantage of their kindness more than absolutely necessary."
Molly felt extremely uncomfortable at all this, though perfectly aware of the entire inaccuracy of the statement.
Molly felt really uncomfortable about all this, even though she knew the statement was completely inaccurate.
"Well, but, Molly!" said Miss Browning, "never mind whether you went there on your own merits, or your worthy father's merits, or Mrs. Gibson's merits; but tell us what you did when you were there."
"Well, but, Molly!" said Miss Browning, "it doesn’t matter if you got there because of your own accomplishments, your admirable father’s, or Mrs. Gibson’s; just tell us what you did while you were there."
So Molly began an account of their sayings and doings, which she could have made far more interesting to Miss Browning and Miss Phœbe if she had not been conscious of her stepmother's critical listening. She had to tell it all with a mental squint; the surest way to spoil a narration. She was also subject to Mrs. Gibson's perpetual corrections of little statements which she knew to be facts. But what vexed her most of all was Mrs. Gibson's last speech before the Miss Brownings left.
So Molly started sharing the stories of what they had said and done, which she could have made much more interesting for Miss Browning and Miss Phoebe if she hadn’t been aware of her stepmother's critical listening. She had to narrate everything with a mental tilt, the best way to ruin a story. She also had to deal with Mrs. Gibson’s constant corrections of small details that she knew were facts. But what frustrated her the most was Mrs. Gibson's last comment before the Miss Brownings left.
"Molly has fallen into rambling ways with this visit of hers, of which she makes so much, as if nobody had ever been in a great house but herself. She is going to Hamley Hall next week,—getting quite dissipated, in fact."
"Molly has become quite chatty during this visit of hers, acting like she's the only one who's ever been in a big house. She's heading to Hamley Hall next week—getting a bit wild, actually."
Yet to Mrs. Goodenough, the next caller on the same errand of congratulation, Mrs. Gibson's tone was quite different. There had always been a tacit antagonism between the two, and the conversation now ran as follows:—
Yet for Mrs. Goodenough, the next visitor with the same goal of congratulating her, Mrs. Gibson's tone was completely different. There had always been an unspoken rivalry between the two, and the conversation went like this: follows:—
Mrs. Goodenough began,—
Mrs. Goodenough started,—
"Well! Mrs. Gibson, I suppose I must wish you joy of Miss Cynthia's marriage; I should condole with some mothers as had lost their daughters; but you're not one of that sort, I reckon."
"Well! Mrs. Gibson, I guess I should congratulate you on Miss Cynthia's marriage; I’d usually express sympathy to some mothers who have lost their daughters, but you’re not one of those, I suppose."
Now, as Mrs. Gibson was not quite sure to which "sort" of mothers the greatest credit was to be attached, she found it a little difficult how to frame her reply.
Now, since Mrs. Gibson wasn't entirely sure which "type" of mothers deserved the most credit, she found it a bit tricky to figure out how to respond.
"Dear Cynthia!" she said. "One can't but rejoice in her happiness! And yet—" she ended her sentence by sighing.
"Dear Cynthia!" she said. "You can't help but be happy for her! And yet—” she finished her sentence with a sigh.
"Ay. She was a young woman as would always have her followers; for, to tell the truth, she was as pretty a creature as ever I saw in my life. And all the more she needed skilful guidance. I'm sure I, for one, am as glad as can be she's done so well by herself. Folks say Mr. Henderson has a handsome private fortune over and above what he makes by the law."
"Yeah. She was a young woman who would always have her admirers because, to be honest, she was one of the prettiest people I've ever seen in my life. And she definitely needed some smart guidance. I know I’m just really happy for her that she’s done so well for herself. People say Mr. Henderson has a nice private fortune on top of what he makes from his law practice."
"There is no fear but that my Cynthia will have everything this world can give!" said Mrs. Gibson with dignity.
"There’s no doubt that my Cynthia will have everything this world can offer!" said Mrs. Gibson with dignity.
"Well, well! she was always a bit of a favourite of mine; and as I was saying to my grand-daughter there" (for she was accompanied by a young lady, who looked keenly to the prospect of some wedding-cake), "I was never one of those who ran her down and called her a flirt and a jilt. I'm glad to hear she's like to be so well off. And now, I suppose, you'll be turning your mind to doing something for Miss Molly there?"
"Well, well! She’s always been a bit of a favorite of mine; and as I was telling my granddaughter there" (because she was with a young lady who was eagerly anticipating some wedding cake), "I was never one of those who put her down and called her a flirt and a gold digger. I'm happy to hear she’s doing so well. And now, I suppose you'll be thinking about doing something for Miss Molly there?"
"If you mean by that, doing anything that can, by hastening her marriage, deprive me of the company of one who is like my own child, you are very much mistaken, Mrs. Goodenough. And pray remember, I am the last person in the world to match-make. Cynthia made Mr. Henderson's acquaintance at her uncle's in London."
"If you’re suggesting that anything which speeds up her marriage would take away someone who feels like my own child, you’re really mistaken, Mrs. Goodenough. And just so you know, I'm the last person you’d find trying to play matchmaker. Cynthia met Mr. Henderson at her uncle's in London."
"Ay! I thought her cousin was very often ill, and needing her nursing, and you were very keen she should be of use. I'm not saying but what it's right in a mother; I'm only putting in a word for Miss Molly."
"Hey! I thought her cousin was frequently sick and needed her nursing, and you were really eager for her to be helpful. I’m not saying it's wrong for a mother; I’m just speaking up for Miss Molly."
"Thank you, Mrs. Goodenough," said Molly, half-angry, half-laughing. "When I want to be married, I'll not trouble mamma. I'll look out for myself."
"Thanks, Mrs. Goodenough," said Molly, feeling a mix of anger and amusement. "When I'm ready to get married, I won't bother Mom. I'll take care of things myself."
"Molly is becoming so popular, I hardly know how we shall keep her at home," said Mrs. Gibson. "I miss her sadly; but, as I said to Mr. Gibson, let young people have change, and see a little of the world while they are young. It has been a great advantage to her being at the Towers while so many clever and distinguished people were there. I can already see a difference in her tone of conversation: an elevation in her choice of subjects. And now she is going to Hamley Hall. I can assure you I feel quite a proud mother, when I see how she is sought after. And my other daughter—my Cynthia—writing such letters from Paris!"
"Molly is getting so popular that I can hardly figure out how to keep her at home," said Mrs. Gibson. "I miss her a lot; but as I told Mr. Gibson, let young people experience different things and see a bit of the world while they're still young. It's been a huge benefit for her to be at the Towers with so many smart and well-known people around. I can already notice a change in the way she talks: she's choosing better topics. And now she's going to Hamley Hall. I have to say, I feel like such a proud mom when I see how much people want to be around her. And my other daughter—my Cynthia—writing such beautiful letters from Paris!"
"Things is a deal changed since my days, for sure," said Mrs. Goodenough. "So, perhaps, I'm no judge. When I was married first, him and me went in a postchaise to his father's house, a matter of twenty mile off at the outside; and sate down to as good a supper amongst his friends and relations as you'd wish to see. And that was my first wedding jaunt. My second was when I better knowed my worth as a bride, and thought that now or never I must see London. But I were reckoned a very extravagant sort of a body to go so far, and spend my money, though Harry had left me uncommon well off. But now young folks go off to Paris, and think nothing of the cost: and it's well if wilful waste don't make woeful want before they die. But I'm thankful somewhat is being done for Miss Molly's chances, as I said afore. It's not quite what I should have liked to have done for my Annabella though. But times are changed, as I said just now."
"Things have definitely changed since my day," Mrs. Goodenough said. "So, maybe I'm not the best judge. When I got married the first time, my husband and I took a carriage to his father's house, which was about twenty miles away. We sat down to a great supper among his friends and family. That was my first wedding trip. My second was when I knew my worth as a bride better and thought it was now or never to see London. But I was considered quite extravagant for going that far and spending my money, even though Harry had left me in pretty good shape. Nowadays, young people head off to Paris and don’t think twice about the expense, and it’s just as likely that reckless spending leads to serious trouble down the road. But I’m grateful something is being done for Miss Molly’s chances, as I mentioned earlier. It’s not exactly what I would have preferred to do for my Annabella, though. But times have changed, as I just said."
CHAPTER LIX.
MOLLY GIBSON AT HAMLEY HALL.
The conversation ended there for the time. Wedding-cake and wine were brought in, and it was Molly's duty to serve them out. But those last words of Mrs. Goodenough's tingled in her ears, and she tried to interpret them to her own satisfaction in any way but the obvious one. And that, too, was destined to be confirmed; for directly after Mrs. Goodenough took her leave, Mrs. Gibson desired Molly to carry away the tray to a table close to an open corner window, where the things might be placed in readiness for any future callers; and underneath this open window went the path from the house-door to the road. Molly heard Mrs. Goodenough saying to her grand-daughter,—
The conversation ended there for now. Wedding cake and wine were brought in, and it was Molly's job to serve them. But Mrs. Goodenough's last words echoed in her mind, and she tried to interpret them in any way other than the obvious one. And that interpretation was soon confirmed; right after Mrs. Goodenough left, Mrs. Gibson asked Molly to carry the tray to a table near an open corner window, where the items could be prepared for any future visitors. Under this open window, the path from the front door to the road ran. Molly heard Mrs. Goodenough saying to her granddaughter,—
"That Mrs. Gibson is a deep 'un. There's Mr. Roger Hamley as like as not to have the Hall estate, and she sends Molly a-visiting—" and then she passed out of hearing. Molly could have burst out crying, with a full sudden conviction of what Mrs. Goodenough had been alluding to: her sense of the impropriety of Molly's going to visit at the Hall when Roger was at home. To be sure, Mrs. Goodenough was a commonplace, unrefined woman. Mrs. Gibson did not seem to have even noticed the allusion. Mr. Gibson took it all as a matter of course that Molly should go to the Hall as simply now, as she had done before. Roger had spoken of it in so straightforward a manner as showed he had no conception of its being an impropriety,—this visit,—this visit until now so happy a subject of anticipation. Molly felt as if she could never speak to any one of the idea to which Mrs. Goodenough's words had given rise; as if she could never be the first to suggest the notion of impropriety, which presupposed what she blushed to think of. Then she tried to comfort herself by reasoning. If it had been wrong, forward, or indelicate, really improper in the slightest degree, who would have been so ready as her father to put his veto upon it? But reasoning was of no use after Mrs. Goodenough's words had put fancies into Molly's head. The more she bade these fancies begone the more they answered her (as Daniel O'Rourke did the man in the moon, when he bade Dan get off his seat on the sickle, and go into empty space):—"The more ye ask us the more we won't stir." One may smile at a young girl's miseries of this kind; but they are very real and stinging miseries to her. All that Molly could do was to resolve on a single eye to the dear old Squire, and his mental and bodily comforts; to try and heal up any breaches which might have occurred between him and Aimée; and to ignore Roger as much as possible. Good Roger! Kind Roger! Dear Roger! It would be very hard to avoid him as much as was consistent with common politeness; but it would be right to do it; and when she was with him she must be as natural as possible, or he might observe some difference; but what was natural? How much ought she avoid being with him? Would he even notice if she was more chary of her company, more calculating of her words? Alas! the simplicity of their intercourse was spoilt henceforwards! She made laws for herself; she resolved to devote herself to the Squire and to Aimée, and to forget Mrs. Goodenough's foolish speeches; but her perfect freedom was gone; and with it half her chance—that is to say, half her chance would have been lost over any strangers who had not known her before; they would probably have thought her stiff and awkward, and apt to say things and then retract them. But she was so different from her usual self that Roger noticed the change in her as soon as she arrived at the Hall. She had carefully measured out the days of her visit; they were to be exactly the same number as she had spent at the Towers. She feared lest if she stayed at the Hall a shorter time the Squire might be annoyed. Yet how charming the place looked in its early autumnal glow as she drove up! And there was Roger at the hall-door, waiting to receive her, watching for her coming. And now he retreated, apparently to summon his sister-in-law, who came now timidly forwards in her deep widow's mourning, holding her boy in her arms as if to protect her shyness; but he struggled down, and ran towards the carriage, eager to greet his friend the coachman, and to obtain a promised ride. Roger did not say much himself; he wanted to make Aimée feel her place as daughter of the house; but she was too timid to speak much. And she only took Molly by the hand and led her into the drawing-room, where, as if by a sudden impulse of gratitude for all the tender nursing she had received during her illness, she put her arms round Molly and kissed her long and well. And after that they came to be friends.
"Mrs. Gibson is quite crafty. Mr. Roger Hamley is likely to inherit the Hall estate, and she sends Molly off to visit—" and then she faded out of earshot. Molly felt like crying, hit with the sudden realization of what Mrs. Goodenough had hinted at: the awkwardness of her visiting the Hall while Roger was home. Sure, Mrs. Goodenough was just a typical, unrefined person. Mrs. Gibson didn’t seem to notice what was implied. Mr. Gibson just accepted that Molly should visit the Hall as casually as she always had. Roger had brought it up so straightforwardly that it was clear he didn’t think there was anything inappropriate about it—this visit, which had been such an exciting topic until now. Molly felt she couldn’t even mention the idea that Mrs. Goodenough’s words had stirred up; she couldn’t be the first to suggest that there was something wrong, which made her blush to think about. Then she tried to calm herself with logic. If it were truly wrong, forward, or at all inappropriate, who would be more likely than her dad to stop it? But reasoning didn’t help after Mrs. Goodenough’s words had put such thoughts in Molly's head. The more she told those thoughts to go away, the more they stuck around (like the way Daniel O'Rourke responded to the man in the moon when asked to leave the sickle and go into empty space):—"The more you ask us to leave, the less we’ll move." One can chuckle at a young girl’s troubles like these, but they feel very real and painful to her. All Molly could do was focus entirely on the dear old Squire and his well-being; to try to mend any rifts that might have formed between him and Aimée; and to avoid Roger as much as possible. Good Roger! Kind Roger! Dear Roger! It would be difficult to avoid him while still being polite; but that was what she had to do; and when she was around him, she had to act as natural as possible, or he might pick up on some change; but what felt natural? How much should she avoid being with him? Would he even notice if she was more reserved, more careful with her words? Unfortunately, the simplicity of their interactions was ruined from now on! She set rules for herself; she decided to dedicate herself to the Squire and Aimée, and to forget Mrs. Goodenough’s silly remarks; but her complete freedom was lost; and with it, half her chances—that is to say, half her chances would’ve been lost with anyone unfamiliar who hadn’t known her before; they would likely have thought she was stiff and awkward, prone to saying things and then taking them back. But she was so different from her usual self that Roger noticed the change in her as soon as she arrived at the Hall. She had carefully planned out the days of her visit; they were meant to match the exact number she had spent at the Towers. She worried that if she stayed at the Hall for a shorter time, the Squire might be irritated. Yet how lovely the place looked in its early autumn glow as she drove up! And there was Roger at the hall door, waiting to welcome her, watching for her arrival. He then stepped back, apparently to call for his sister-in-law, who timidly approached in her deep widow’s mourning, holding her boy as if to shield her shyness; but he wriggled free and sprinted toward the carriage, eager to greet his friend the coachman and to get a promised ride. Roger didn’t say much; he wanted Aimée to feel her role as the daughter of the house; however, she was too shy to say much. She simply took Molly by the hand and led her into the drawing room, where, as if moved by a sudden wave of gratitude for all the loving care she had received during her illness, she wrapped her arms around Molly and kissed her warmly and for a long time. After that, they became friends.
It was nearly lunch-time, and the Squire always made his appearance at that meal, more for the pleasure of seeing his grandson eat his dinner than for any hunger of his own. To-day Molly quickly saw the whole state of the family affairs. She thought that even had Roger said nothing about them at the Towers, she should have seen that neither the father nor the daughter-in-law had as yet found the clue to each other's characters, although they had now been living for several months in the same house. Aimée seemed to forget her English in her nervousness; and to watch with the jealous eyes of a dissatisfied mother all the proceedings of the Squire towards her little boy. They were not of the wisest kind, it must be owned; the child sipped the strong ale with evident relish and clamoured for everything which he saw the others enjoying. Aimée could hardly attend to Molly for her anxiety as to what her boy was doing and eating; yet she said nothing. Roger took the end of the table opposite to that at which sat grandfather and grandchild. After the boy's first wants were gratified the Squire addressed himself to Molly.
It was almost lunchtime, and the Squire always showed up for that meal, mostly to enjoy watching his grandson eat rather than because he was actually hungry. Today, Molly quickly figured out the family situation. She believed that even if Roger hadn't mentioned anything about it at the Towers, she would have realized that neither the father nor the daughter-in-law had really grasped each other’s personalities, even after living in the same house for several months. Aimée seemed to lose her grasp on English when she got nervous, watching the Squire with the jealous eyes of a troubled mother as he interacted with her little boy. It must be said that his actions weren’t the smartest; the child eagerly drank the strong ale and demanded everything he saw the others enjoying. Aimée could hardly focus on Molly because she was so anxious about what her boy was doing and eating, yet she remained silent. Roger sat at the end of the table opposite where the grandfather and grandchild were seated. Once the boy's initial needs were met, the Squire turned his attention to Molly.
"Well! and so you can come here a-visiting though you have been among the grand folks. I thought you were going to cut us, Miss Molly, when I heard you was gone to the Towers. Couldn't find any other place to stay at while father and mother were away, but an earl's, eh?"
"Well! So you can come here to visit even after being with the high society folks. I thought you were going to ditch us, Miss Molly, when I heard you were at the Towers. Couldn't find anywhere else to stay while your parents were away, but at an earl's, huh?"
"They asked me, and I went," said Molly; "now you've asked me, and I've come here."
"They asked me to come, so I did," Molly said. "Now you've asked me, and I'm here."
"I think you might ha' known you'd be always welcome here, without waiting for asking. Why, Molly! I look upon you as a kind of a daughter more than Madam there!" dropping his voice a little, and perhaps supposing that the child's babble would drown the signification of his words.—"Nay, you needn't look at me so pitifully, she doesn't follow English readily."
"I think you probably knew you'd always be welcome here without needing to ask. Why, Molly! I see you more as a daughter than that woman over there!" he lowered his voice a bit, perhaps thinking that the child's chatter would mask the meaning of his words. "No, you don’t need to look at me so sadly; she doesn’t grasp English easily."
"I think she does!" said Molly, in a low voice,—not looking up, however, for fear of catching another glimpse at Aimée's sudden forlornness of expression and deepened colour. She felt grateful, as if for a personal favour, when she heard Roger speaking to Aimée the moment afterwards in the tender tones of brotherly friendliness; and presently these two were sufficiently engaged in a separate conversation to allow Molly and the Squire to go on talking.
"I think she does!" said Molly quietly, not looking up for fear of seeing Aimée's sudden sadness and flushed cheeks. She felt grateful, as if someone had done her a personal favor, when she heard Roger speaking to Aimée moments later in the warm tones of a caring brother. Soon, the two of them were so absorbed in their own conversation that Molly and the Squire could continue theirs.
"He's a sturdy chap, isn't he?" said the Squire, stroking the little Roger's curly head. "And he can puff four puffs at grandpapa's pipe without being sick, can't he?"
"He's a tough kid, isn't he?" said the Squire, patting little Roger's curly head. "And he can take four puffs from grandpa's pipe without getting sick, right?"
"I s'ant puff any more puffs," said the boy, resolutely. "Mamma says 'No.' I s'ant."
"I can't take any more puffs," said the boy firmly. "Mom says 'No.' I can't."
"That's just like her!" said the Squire, dropping his voice this time however. "As if it could do the child any harm!"
"That's so typical of her!" said the Squire, lowering his voice this time. "As if it could hurt the child!"
Molly made a point of turning the conversation from all personal subjects after this, and kept the Squire talking about the progress of his drainage during the rest of lunch. He offered to take her to see it; and she acceded to the proposal, thinking, meantime, how little she need have anticipated the being thrown too intimately with Roger, who seemed to devote himself to his sister-in-law. But, in the evening, when Aimée had gone upstairs to put her boy to bed, and the Squire was asleep in his easy-chair, a sudden flush of memory brought Mrs. Goodenough's words again to her mind. She was virtually tête-à-tête with Roger, as she had been dozens of times before, but now she could not help assuming an air of constraint; her eyes did not meet his in the old frank way; she took up a book at a pause in the conversation, and left him puzzled and annoyed at the change in her manner. And so it went on during all the time of her visit. If sometimes she forgot, and let herself go into all her old naturalness, by-and-by she checked herself, and became comparatively cold and reserved. Roger was pained at all this—more pained day after day; more anxious to discover the cause. Aimée, too, silently noticed how different Molly became in Roger's presence. One day she could not help saying to Molly,—
Molly made sure to steer the conversation away from personal topics after that and kept the Squire talking about the progress of his drainage for the rest of lunch. He offered to take her to see it, and she agreed, thinking how little she had needed to worry about being too close to Roger, who seemed to focus on his sister-in-law. But in the evening, when Aimée had gone upstairs to put her boy to bed and the Squire was asleep in his easy chair, a sudden memory brought Mrs. Goodenough's words back to her. She was basically alone with Roger, as she had been many times before, but now she couldn't help feeling awkward; her eyes didn't meet his like they used to. She picked up a book during a pause in the conversation, leaving him confused and annoyed by the shift in her behavior. This continued throughout her visit. If she occasionally forgot and relaxed into her usual self, she soon caught herself and became pretty cold and distant again. Roger felt hurt by all this—more hurt every day, and more eager to find out why. Aimée also quietly noticed how different Molly was around Roger. One day she couldn't help saying to Molly,
"Don't you like Roger? You would, if you only knew how good he is! He is learned, but that is nothing: it is his goodness that one admires and loves."
"Don't you like Roger? You would if you knew how great he is! He’s smart, but that doesn’t matter: it’s his kindness that people admire and love."
"He is very good," said Molly. "I have known him long enough to know that."
"He’s really good," Molly said. "I’ve known him long enough to be sure of that."
"But you don't think him agreeable? He is not like my poor husband, to be sure; and you knew him well, too. Ah! tell me about him once again. When you first knew him? When his mother was alive?"
"But you don't think he's likable? He's definitely not like my poor husband, that's for sure; and you knew him well, too. Ah! Tell me about him one more time. When did you first meet him? When his mother was still alive?"
Molly had grown very fond of Aimée; when the latter was at her ease she had very charming and attaching ways; but feeling uneasy in her position in the Squire's house, she was almost repellent to him; and he, too, put on his worst side to her. Roger was most anxious to bring them together, and had several consultations with Molly as to the best means of accomplishing this end. As long as they talked upon this subject, she spoke to him in the quiet sensible manner which she inherited from her father; but when their discussions on this point were ended, she fell back into her piquant assumption of dignified reserve. It was very difficult for her to maintain this strange manner, especially when once or twice she fancied that it gave him pain; and she would go into her own room and suddenly burst into tears on these occasions, and wish that her visit was ended, and that she was once again in the eventless tranquillity of her own home. Yet presently her fancy changed, and she clung to the swiftly passing hours, as if she would still retain the happiness of each. For, unknown to her, Roger was exerting himself to make her visit pleasant. He was not willing to appear as the instigator of all the little plans for each day, for he felt as if, somehow, he did not hold the same place in her regard as formerly. Still, one day Aimée suggested a nutting expedition—another day they gave little Roger the unheard-of pleasure of tea out-of-doors—there was something else agreeable for a third; and it was Roger who arranged all these simple pleasures—such as he knew Molly would enjoy. But to her he only appeared as the ready forwarder of Aimée's devices. The week was nearly gone, when one morning the Squire found Roger sitting in the old library—with a book before him, it is true, but so deep in thought that he was evidently startled by his father's unexpected entrance.
Molly had grown very fond of Aimée; when Aimée was comfortable, she had such charming and engaging ways; but when she felt anxious in her role in the Squire's house, she was almost unapproachable to him; and he, too, showed his worst side to her. Roger really wanted to bring them together and had several discussions with Molly about the best ways to do this. As long as they talked about this topic, she spoke to him in the calm, sensible way she inherited from her father; but once their discussions ended, she slipped back into her peculiar stance of dignified distance. It was tough for her to keep up this strange manner, especially when she thought it caused him pain; she would go to her room and suddenly break down in tears during those times, wishing her visit would end and that she was back in the peaceful comfort of her own home. Yet, soon her mindset shifted, and she held tightly to the swiftly passing hours, trying to hold on to the joy of each moment. For, unbeknownst to her, Roger was working hard to make her visit enjoyable. He didn’t want to seem like the one behind all the little plans for each day since he felt, in a way, that he no longer held the same place in her eyes as he once had. Still, one day Aimée suggested a nutting trip—another day they gave little Roger the rare treat of having tea outdoors—there was something else fun for a third day; and it was Roger who planned all these simple joys—knowing they were things Molly would like. But to her, he only seemed like the enthusiastic supporter of Aimée’s ideas. The week was almost over when one morning the Squire found Roger sitting in the old library—with a book in front of him, yes, but he was so lost in thought that he was clearly startled by his father's unexpected entrance.
"I thought I should find thee here, my lad! We'll have the old room done up again before winter; it smells musty enough, and yet I see it's the place for thee! I want thee to go with me round the five-acre. I'm thinking of laying it down in grass. It's time for you to be getting into the fresh air, you look quite wobegone over books, books, books; there never was a thing like 'em for stealing a man's health out of him!"
"I knew I’d find you here, my boy! We’ll get the old room fixed up before winter; it smells pretty musty, but I can tell it’s the right place for you! I want you to come with me around the five-acre plot. I’m thinking of turning it into a grassy area. It’s time for you to get some fresh air; you look so downcast from all those books, books, books; nothing like them to drain a man’s health!"
So Roger went out with his father, without saying many words till they were at some distance from the house. Then he brought out a sentence with such abruptness that he repaid his father for the start the latter had given him a quarter of an hour before.
So Roger left with his father, not saying much until they were a bit away from the house. Then he blurted out a comment so suddenly that it made up for the shock his father had given him earlier.
"Father, you remember I'm going out again to the Cape next month! You spoke of doing up the library. If it is for me, I shall be away all the winter."
"Father, remember I'm heading out to the Cape again next month! You mentioned fixing up the library. If it's for me, I'll be gone all winter."
"Can't you get off it?" pleaded his father. "I thought maybe you'd forgotten all about it."
"Can’t you just drop it?" his father begged. "I thought maybe you’d forgotten all about it."
"Not likely!" said Roger, half smiling.
"Not likely!" Roger said with a half-smile.
"Well, but they might have found another man to finish up your work."
"Well, they could have found someone else to complete your work."
"No one can finish it but myself. Besides, an engagement is an engagement. When I wrote to Lord Hollingford to tell him I must come home, I promised to go out again for another six months."
"No one else can finish it but me. Plus, a commitment is a commitment. When I wrote to Lord Hollingford to let him know I had to come home, I promised to go out again for another six months."
"Ay. I know. And perhaps it will put it out of thy mind. It will always be hard on me to part from thee. But I daresay it's best for you."
"Yeah. I get it. And maybe it will help you forget about it. It will always be tough for me to say goodbye to you. But I think it's for the best."
Roger's colour deepened. "You are alluding to—to Miss Kirkpatrick—Mrs. Henderson, I mean. Father, let me tell you once for all, I think that was rather a hasty affair. I'm pretty sure now that we were not suited to each other. I was wretched when I got her letter—at the Cape I mean—but I believe it was for the best."
Roger's face flushed. "You're referring to Miss Kirkpatrick—Mrs. Henderson, I mean. Dad, let me make this clear: I think that was a rushed decision. I'm pretty convinced now that we weren't right for each other. I felt terrible when I got her letter—at the Cape, I mean—but I believe it was for the best."
"That's right. That's my own boy," said the Squire turning round and shaking hands with his son with vehemence. "And now I'll tell you what I heard the other day, when I was at the magistrates' meeting. They were all saying she had jilted Preston."
"That's right. That's my own boy," said the Squire, turning around and shaking hands with his son enthusiastically. "And now I'll tell you what I heard the other day when I was at the magistrates' meeting. They were all saying she had dumped Preston."
"I don't want to hear anything against her; she may have her faults, but I can never forget how I once loved her."
"I don’t want to hear any criticism about her; she might have her flaws, but I can never forget how much I once loved her."
"Well, well! Perhaps it's right. I was not so bad about it, was I, Roger? Poor Osborne need not ha' been so secret with me. I asked your Miss Cynthia out here—and her mother and all—my bark is worse than my bite. For, if I had a wish on earth, it was to see Osborne married as befitted one of an old stock, and he went and chose out this French girl, of no family at all, only a—"
"Well, well! Maybe that's true. I wasn't that harsh about it, was I, Roger? Poor Osborne didn't need to be so secretive with me. I invited your Miss Cynthia out here—and her mother too—my bark is worse than my bite. If I had one wish in the world, it was to see Osborne married to someone worthy of his lineage, and instead, he chose this French girl, who's of no family at all, just a—"
"Never mind what she was; look at what she is! I wonder you are not more taken with her humility and sweetness, father!"
"Forget who she was; focus on who she is now! I'm surprised you aren't more impressed by her humility and kindness, dad!"
"I don't even call her pretty," said the Squire uneasily, for he dreaded a repetition of the arguments which Roger had often used to make him give Aimée her proper due of affection and position. "Now your Miss Cynthia was pretty, I will say that for her, the baggage! And to think that when you two lads flew right in your father's face, and picked out girls below you in rank and family, you should neither of you have set your fancies on my little Molly there. I daresay I should ha' been angry enough at the time, but the lassie would ha' found her way to my heart, as never this French lady, nor t' other one, could ha' done."
"I don’t even call her pretty," said the Squire uneasily, because he was afraid of getting into the same arguments Roger often used to convince him to give Aimée the affection and status she deserved. "Now your Miss Cynthia was pretty, I’ll give her that, the cheeky girl! And to think that when you two guys went against your father's wishes and chose girls who were beneath you in rank and family, neither of you picked my little Molly there. I suppose I would have been angry enough about it back then, but that girl would have found her way into my heart, unlike this French lady or the other one."
Roger did not answer.
Roger didn't respond.
"I don't see why you mightn't put up for her still. I'm humble enough now, and you're not heir as Osborne was who married a servant-maid. Don't you think you could turn your thoughts upon Molly Gibson, Roger?"
"I don't see why you couldn't consider her still. I'm humble enough now, and you're not an heir like Osborne who married a servant. Don’t you think you could focus your thoughts on Molly Gibson, Roger?"
"No!" said Roger, shortly. "It's too late—too late. Don't let us talk any more of my marrying. Isn't this the five-acre field?" And soon he was discussing the relative values of meadow, arable and pasture land with his father, as heartily as if he had never known Molly, or loved Cynthia. But the squire was not in such good spirits, and went but heavily into the discussion. At the end of it he said àpropos de bottes,—
"No!" Roger said sharply. "It's too late—way too late. Let's not talk about my getting married anymore. Isn't this the five-acre field?" Soon he was talking with his father about the pros and cons of meadow, crop, and pasture land as if he had never met Molly or loved Cynthia. But the squire wasn’t in a great mood and participated in the discussion half-heartedly. At the end of it, he said regarding boots---
"But don't you think you could like her if you tried, Roger?"
"But don’t you think you could actually like her if you gave it a shot, Roger?"
Roger knew perfectly well to what his father was alluding, but for an instant he was on the point of pretending to misunderstand. At length, however, he said, in a low voice,—
Roger knew exactly what his father was hinting at, but for a moment he almost pretended not to get it. Finally, though, he said in a low voice,—
"I shall never try, father. Don't let us talk any more about it. As I said before, it's too late."
"I won't try, Dad. Let's not talk about it anymore. Like I said before, it's too late."
The Squire was like a child to whom some toy has been refused; from time to time the thought of his disappointment in this matter recurred to his mind; and then he took to blaming Cynthia as the primary cause of Roger's present indifference to womankind.
The Squire was like a child who has been denied a toy; every now and then, the thought of his disappointment crossed his mind, and then he started blaming Cynthia as the main reason for Roger's current indifference to women.
It so happened that on Molly's last morning at the Hall, she received her first letter from Cynthia—Mrs. Henderson. It was just before breakfast-time; Roger was out of doors, Aimée had not as yet come down; Molly was alone in the dining-room, where the table was already laid. She had just finished reading her letter when the Squire came in, and she immediately and joyfully told him what the morning had brought to her. But when she saw the Squire's face, she could have bitten her tongue out for having named Cynthia's name to him. He looked vexed and depressed.
It just so happened that on Molly's last morning at the Hall, she received her first letter from Cynthia—Mrs. Henderson. It was just before breakfast; Roger was outside, and Aimée hadn’t come down yet; Molly was alone in the dining room, where the table was already set. She had just finished reading her letter when the Squire walked in, and she immediately and happily told him what the morning had brought her. But when she saw the Squire's face, she wanted to take back mentioning Cynthia’s name to him. He looked upset and downcast.
"I wish I might never hear of her again—I do. She's been the bane of my Roger, that's what she has. I haven't slept half the night, and it's all her fault. Why, there's my boy saying now that he has no heart for ever marrying, poor lad! I wish it had been you, Molly, my lads had taken a fancy for. I told Roger so t'other day, and I said that for all you were beneath what I ever thought to see them marry,—well—it's of no use—it's too late, now, as he said. Only never let me hear that baggage's name again, that's all, and no offence to you either, lassie. I know you love the wench; but if you'll take an old man's word, you're worth a score of her. I wish young men would think so too," he muttered as he went to the side-table to carve the ham, while Molly poured out the tea—her heart very hot all the time, and effectually silenced for a space. It was with the greatest difficulty that she could keep tears of mortification from falling. She felt altogether in a wrong position in that house, which had been like a home to her until this last visit. What with Mrs. Goodenough's remarks, and now this speech of the Squire's, implying—at least to her susceptible imagination—that his father had proposed her as a wife to Roger, and that she had been rejected—she was more glad than she could express, or even think, that she was going home this very morning. Roger came in from his walk while she was in this state of feeling. He saw in an instant that something had distressed Molly; and he longed to have the old friendly right of asking her what it was. But she had effectually kept him at too great a distance during the last few days for him to feel at liberty to speak to her in the old straightforward brotherly way; especially now, when he perceived her efforts to conceal her feelings, and the way in which she drank her tea in feverish haste, and accepted bread only to crumble it about her plate, untouched. It was all that he could do to make talk under these circumstances; but he backed up her efforts as well as he could until Aimée came down, grave and anxious: her boy had not had a good night, and did not seem well; he had fallen into a feverish sleep now, or she could not have left him. Immediately the whole table was in a ferment. The Squire pushed away his plate, and could eat no more; Roger was trying to extract a detail or a fact out of Aimée, who began to give way to tears. Molly quickly proposed that the carriage, which had been ordered to take her home at eleven, should come round immediately—she had everything ready packed up, she said,—and bring back her father at once. By leaving directly, she said, it was probable they might catch him after he had returned from his morning visits in the town, and before he had set off on his more distant round. Her proposal was agreed to, and she went upstairs to put on her things. She came down all ready into the drawing-room, expecting to find Aimée and the Squire there; but during her absence word had been brought to the anxious mother and grandfather that the child had wakened up in a panic, and both had rushed up to their darling. But Roger was in the drawing-room awaiting Molly, with a large bunch of the choicest flowers.
"I wish I’d never hear about her again—I really do. She’s been the source of all my Roger’s troubles, that’s for sure. I haven’t slept half the night, and it’s all her fault. Look at my boy, saying now that he has no desire to ever get married, poor guy! I wish it had been you, Molly, that my boys had taken a liking to. I told Roger that the other day, and I admitted that for all you were not what I ever imagined for them to marry—well—it’s useless—too late now, as he said. Just don’t let me hear that girl’s name again, that’s all, and no offense to you either, darling. I know you love the girl; but if you’ll take an old man's word, you’re worth a hundred of her. I wish young men would see it that way too," he grumbled as he went to the side table to carve the ham, while Molly poured the tea—her heart boiling the whole time, and effectively silenced for a while. It was incredibly hard for her to keep the tears of humiliation from falling. She felt completely out of place in that house, which had felt like home to her until this last visit. With Mrs. Goodenough's comments and now this comment from the Squire, implying—at least to her sensitive imagination—that his father had suggested her as a wife for Roger, and that she had been rejected—she was more relieved than she could express or even think, that she was going home this very morning. Roger came in from his walk while she was in this emotional state. He noticed right away that something was bothering Molly; and he wanted to have the old friendly right to ask her what was wrong. But she had kept him at too much of a distance during the last few days for him to feel free to speak to her in their usual straightforward brotherly way; especially now, as he observed her efforts to hide her feelings, and how she gulped down her tea in a rush, only to crumb her bread around her plate, untouched. He struggled to make conversation under these circumstances; but he supported her efforts as best he could until Aimée appeared, looking serious and worried: her boy hadn’t had a good night and didn’t seem well; he had fallen into a feverish sleep, or she wouldn’t have left him. Immediately, the whole table was in a stir. The Squire pushed his plate away and couldn’t eat anymore; Roger tried to pull a detail or fact out of Aimée, who began to cry. Molly quickly suggested that the carriage, which had been ordered to take her home at eleven, should come around right away—she had everything packed up, she said—and bring back her father immediately. By leaving right away, she said, they would probably catch him after he returned from his morning visits to town, and before he set off on his longer rounds. Her suggestion was agreed upon, and she went upstairs to get ready. She came down all set in the drawing room, expecting to find Aimée and the Squire there; but during her absence, word had reached the anxious mother and grandfather that the child had woken up in a panic, and both had rushed up to their little one. But Roger was in the drawing room waiting for Molly, holding a large bunch of the finest flowers.
"Look, Molly!" said he, as she was on the point of leaving the room again, on finding him there alone. "I gathered these flowers for you before breakfast." He came to meet her reluctant advance.
"Look, Molly!" he said as she was about to leave the room again after discovering him there alone. "I picked these flowers for you before breakfast." He moved to meet her hesitant approach.
"Thank you!" said she. "You are very kind. I am very much obliged to you."
"Thank you!" she said. "You’re very kind. I really appreciate it."
"Then you must do something for me," said he, determined not to notice the restraint of her manner, and making the re-arrangement of the flowers which she held a sort of link between them, so that she could not follow her impulse, and leave the room.
"Then you have to do something for me," he said, choosing to overlook her reserved demeanor and using the rearrangement of the flowers she held as a way to connect them, making it so she couldn’t act on her urge to leave the room.
"Tell me,—honestly as I know you will if you speak at all,—haven't I done something to vex you since we were so happy at the Towers together?"
"Be honest with me, as I know you will if you say anything at all—haven't I done something to upset you since we were so happy at the Towers together?"
His voice was so kind and true,—his manner so winning yet wistful, that Molly would have been thankful to tell him all. She believed that he could have helped her more than any one to understand how she ought to behave rightly; he would have disentangled her fancies,—if only he himself had not lain at the very core and centre of all her perplexity and dismay. How could she tell him of Mrs. Goodenough's words troubling her maiden modesty? How could she ever repeat what his father had said that morning, and assure him that she, no more than he, wished that their old friendliness should be troubled by the thought of a nearer relationship?
His voice was so kind and genuine—his manner so charming yet a bit sad—that Molly would have happily shared everything with him. She felt he could help her better than anyone else in figuring out how she should act properly; he would have helped clarify her confusing thoughts—if only he wasn't at the very heart of all her confusion and distress. How could she tell him about Mrs. Goodenough's words that were disturbing her sense of modesty? How could she ever repeat what his father had said that morning and reassure him that neither she nor he wanted their old friendship to be complicated by the idea of a closer relationship?
"No, you never vexed me in my whole life, Roger," said she, looking straight at him for the first time for many days.
"No, you’ve never annoyed me in my whole life, Roger," she said, looking straight at him for the first time in many days.
"I believe you, because you say so. I have no right to ask further. Molly, will you give me back one of those flowers, as a pledge of what you have said?"
"I believe you because you say so. I don’t have the right to ask for more. Molly, will you give me one of those flowers back as a promise of what you’ve said?"
"Take whichever you like," said she, eagerly offering him the whole nosegay to choose from.
"Pick whichever you want," she said, eagerly handing him the entire bouquet to choose from.
"No; you must choose, and you must give it me."
"No; you have to choose, and you have to give it to me."
Just then the Squire came in. Roger would have been glad if Molly had not gone on so eagerly to ransack the bunch for the choicest flower in his father's presence; but she exclaimed:
Just then the Squire walked in. Roger would have preferred that Molly hadn’t been so eager to search through the bunch for the best flower in front of his father; but she exclaimed:
"Oh, please, Mr. Hamley, do you know which is Roger's favourite flower?"
"Oh, please, Mr. Hamley, do you know what Roger's favorite flower is?"
"No. A rose, I daresay. The carriage is at the door, and, Molly my dear, I don't want to hurry you, but—"
"No. A rose, I would say. The carriage is at the door, and, Molly my dear, I don't want to rush you, but—"
"I know. Here, Roger,—here is a rose!
I know. Here, Roger—here's a rose!
("And red as a rose was she.") |
I will find papa as soon as ever I get home. How is the little boy?"
I’ll find Dad as soon as I get home. How’s the little guy?
"I'm afraid he's beginning of some kind of a fever."
"I'm afraid he's coming down with a fever."
And the Squire took her to the carriage, talking all the way of the little boy; Roger following, and hardly heeding what he was doing in the answer to the question he kept asking himself: "Too late—or not? Can she ever forget that my first foolish love was given to one so different?"
And the Squire led her to the carriage, chatting the whole time about the little boy; Roger trailed behind, barely paying attention to what he was doing as he kept asking himself, "Is it too late—or not? Can she ever forget that my first silly love was for someone so different?"
While she, as the carriage rolled away, kept saying to herself,—"We are friends again. I don't believe he will remember what the dear Squire took it into his head to suggest for many days. It is so pleasant to be on the old terms again! and what lovely flowers!"
While she watched the carriage drive off, she kept telling herself, "We're friends again. I doubt he'll remember what that silly Squire suggested for a long time. It's so nice to be back on good terms! And those flowers are beautiful!"
CHAPTER LX.
ROGER HAMLEY'S CONFESSION.
Roger had a great deal to think of as he turned away from looking after the carriage as long as it could be seen. The day before, he had believed that Molly had come to view all the symptoms of his growing love for her,—symptoms which he thought had been so patent,—as disgusting inconstancy to the inconstant Cynthia; that she had felt that an attachment which could be so soon transferred to another was not worth having; and that she had desired to mark all this by her changed treatment of him, and so to nip it in the bud. But this morning her old sweet, frank manner had returned—in their last interview, at any rate. He puzzled himself hard to find out what could have distressed her at breakfast-time. He even went so far as to ask Robinson whether Miss Gibson had received any letters that morning; and when he heard that she had had one, he tried to believe that the letter was in some way the cause of her sorrow. So far so good. They were friends again after their unspoken difference; but that was not enough for Roger. He felt every day more and more certain that she, and she alone, could make him happy. He had felt this, and had partly given up all hope, while his father had been urging upon him the very course he most desired to take. No need for "trying" to love her, he said to himself,—that was already done. And yet he was very jealous on her behalf. Was that love worthy of her which had once been given to Cynthia? Was not this affair too much a mocking mimicry of the last—again just on the point of leaving England for a considerable time—if he followed her now to her own home,—in the very drawing-room where he had once offered to Cynthia? And then by a strong resolve he determined on this course. They were friends now, and he kissed the rose that was her pledge of friendship. If he went to Africa, he ran some deadly chances; he knew better what they were now than he had done when he went before. Until his return he would not even attempt to win more of her love than he already had. But once safe home again, no weak fancies as to what might or might not be her answer should prevent his running all chances to gain the woman who was to him the one who excelled all. His was not the poor vanity that thinks more of the possible mortification of a refusal than of the precious jewel of a bride that may be won. Somehow or another, please God to send him back safe, he would put his fate to the touch. And till then he would be patient. He was no longer a boy to rush at the coveted object; he was a man capable of judging and abiding.
Roger had a lot on his mind as he turned away from watching the carriage until it was out of sight. The day before, he had thought that Molly saw all the signs of his growing love for her—signs he believed were obvious—as a sign of disgusting infidelity to the untrustworthy Cynthia; that she thought an attachment that could be switched to someone else so quickly wasn't worth having; and that she wanted to show this by treating him differently to cut it off before it could grow. But this morning, her sweet, open demeanor had come back—in their last meeting, at least. He struggled to figure out what had upset her at breakfast. He even asked Robinson if Miss Gibson had received any letters that morning; and when he heard she had, he tried to convince himself that the letter somehow caused her sadness. So far, so good. They were friends again after their unspoken disagreement; but that wasn't enough for Roger. He felt more and more certain every day that only she could make him happy. He had felt this, and had partly given up hope, while his father was pushing him toward the very path he most wanted to take. No need for "trying" to love her, he told himself—he had already done that. And yet he was very jealous for her sake. Was that love worthy of her which had once been given to Cynthia? Wasn't this situation just a cruel imitation of the last—especially since he was about to leave England for a long time—if he went to her home now, to the very living room where he had once proposed to Cynthia? Then, with a strong determination, he decided on this course. They were friends now, and he kissed the rose that symbolized their friendship. If he went to Africa, he faced some serious risks; he understood them better now than he had before. Until he returned, he wouldn't even try to win more of her love than he already had. But once home safely, no weak thoughts about what her response might be would stop him from taking every chance to win the woman he believed was the best of all. He wasn't so vain as to think more about the possible embarrassment of rejection than the precious prize of a bride he might gain. Somehow, please God, if he returned safely, he would take his chance at fate. And until then, he would be patient. He was no longer a boy rushing toward what he desired; he was a man capable of reasoning and waiting.
Molly sent her father, as soon as she could find him, to the Hall; and then sate down to the old life in the home drawing-room, where she missed Cynthia's bright presence at every turn. Mrs. Gibson was in rather a querulous mood, which fastened itself upon the injury of Cynthia's letter being addressed to Molly, and not to herself.
Molly found her father as quickly as she could and sent him to the Hall; then she sat down to the familiar routine in the home drawing-room, where she felt Cynthia's lively presence missing at every moment. Mrs. Gibson was in somewhat of a grumpy mood, fixating on the fact that Cynthia's letter was addressed to Molly instead of to her.
"Considering all the trouble I had with her trousseau, I think she might have written to me."
"Given all the issues I had with her wedding outfit, I think she could have reached out to me."
"But she did—her first letter was to you, mamma," said Molly, her real thoughts still intent upon the Hall—upon the sick child—upon Roger, and his begging for the flower.
"But she did—her first letter was to you, mom," said Molly, her real thoughts still focused on the Hall—on the sick child—on Roger, and his plea for the flower.
"Yes, just a first letter, three pages long, with an account of her crossing; while to you she can write about fashions, and how the bonnets are worn in Paris, and all sorts of interesting things. But poor mothers must never expect confidential letters, I have found that out."
"Yeah, just a first letter, three pages long, detailing her journey; while she can write to you about fashions, how the bonnets are styled in Paris, and all sorts of fascinating stuff. But poor mothers should never expect personal letters, I've learned that."
"You may see my letter, mamma," said Molly, "there is really nothing in it."
"You can read my letter, Mom," said Molly, "there's really nothing in it."
"And to think of her writing, and crossing to you who don't value it, while my poor heart is yearning after my lost child! Really, life is somewhat hard to bear at times."
"And to think of her writing, and coming to you who don’t appreciate it, while my poor heart is aching for my lost child! Honestly, life can be pretty tough to handle at times."
Then there was silence—for a while.
Then there was silence—for a bit.
"Do tell me something about your visit, Molly. Is Roger very heart-broken? Does he talk much about Cynthia?"
"Please tell me about your visit, Molly. Is Roger really heartbroken? Does he say much about Cynthia?"
"No. He does not mention her often; hardly ever, I think."
"No. He hardly ever mentions her; I don't think he does at all."
"I never thought he had much feeling. If he had had, he would not have let her go so easily."
"I never thought he felt much. If he did, he wouldn't have let her go so easily."
"I don't see how he could help it. When he came to see her after his return, she was already engaged to Mr. Henderson—he had come down that very day," said Molly, with perhaps more heat than the occasion required.
"I don't see how he could have helped it. When he came to see her after getting back, she was already with Mr. Henderson—he had come down that very day," said Molly, possibly with more intensity than the situation called for.
"My poor head!" said Mrs. Gibson, putting her hands up to her head. "One may see you've been stopping with people of robust health, and—excuse my saying it, Molly, of your friends—of unrefined habits, you've got to talk in so loud a voice. But do remember my head, Molly. So Roger has quite forgotten Cynthia, has he? Oh! what inconstant creatures men are! He will be falling in love with some grandee next, mark my words! They are making a pet and a lion of him, and he's just the kind of weak young man to have his head turned by it all; and to propose to some fine lady of rank, who would no more think of marrying him than of marrying her footman."
"My poor head!" Mrs. Gibson exclaimed, raising her hands to her forehead. "It's clear you’ve been hanging around people who are full of energy, and—sorry to say this, Molly, but your friends—have such loud and rough habits that you’ve started speaking in such a loud voice. But please think of my head, Molly. So Roger has completely forgotten about Cynthia, has he? Oh! What unpredictable creatures men are! Next, he'll be falling for some high-society lady, mark my words! They’re treating him like a pet and a celebrity, and he's exactly the kind of naive young man to let it all go to his head; he’ll end up proposing to some fancy lady of status, who wouldn’t even consider marrying him any more than she would her footman."
"I don't think it is likely," said Molly, stoutly. "Roger is too sensible for anything of the kind."
"I don't think that's likely," Molly said firmly. "Roger is too sensible for that sort of thing."
"That's just the fault I always found with him; sensible and cold-hearted! Now, that's a kind of character which may be very valuable, but which revolts me. Give me warmth of heart, even with a little of that extravagance of feeling which misleads the judgment, and conducts into romance. Poor Mr. Kirkpatrick! That was just his character. I used to tell him that his love for me was quite romantic. I think I have told you about his walking five miles in the rain to get me a muffin once when I was ill?"
"That's just the flaw I always saw in him; practical and emotionally detached! Now, that kind of personality can be really valuable, but it turns me off. I prefer warmth and compassion, even if it comes with a bit of emotional exaggeration that clouds judgment and leads to romantic notions. Poor Mr. Kirkpatrick! That was exactly how he was. I used to tell him that his love for me was very romantic. I think I mentioned how he once walked five miles in the rain to get me a muffin when I was sick?"
"Yes!" said Molly. "It was very kind of him."
"Yes!" Molly said. "That was really nice of him."
"So imprudent, too! Just what one of your sensible, cold-hearted, commonplace people would never have thought of doing. With his cough and all."
"So reckless, too! Exactly what someone sensible, unemotional, and ordinary would never have considered doing. With his cough and everything."
"I hope he didn't suffer for it?" replied Molly, anxious at any cost to keep off the subject of the Hamleys, upon which she and her stepmother always disagreed, and on which she found it difficult to keep her temper.
"I hope he didn't suffer for it?" replied Molly, eager to avoid any talk about the Hamleys, a topic where she and her stepmother always clashed, and one that made it hard for her to stay calm.
"Yes, indeed, he did! I don't think he ever got over the cold he caught that day. I wish you had known him, Molly. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if you had been my real daughter, and Cynthia dear papa's, and Mr. Kirkpatrick and your own dear mother had all lived. People talk a good deal about natural affinities. It would have been a question for a philosopher." She began to think on the impossibilities she had suggested.
"Yes, he really did! I don’t think he ever fully recovered from the cold he got that day. I wish you had known him, Molly. I sometimes wonder what might have happened if you had been my actual daughter, and Cynthia had been dear papa’s, with Mr. Kirkpatrick and your own dear mother all still alive. People often talk a lot about natural connections. It would have been a topic for a philosopher." She started to consider the impossibilities she had suggested.
"I wonder how the poor little boy is?" said Molly, after a pause, speaking out her thought.
"I wonder how the poor little boy is doing?" said Molly, after a pause, expressing her thoughts.
"Poor little child! When one thinks how little his prolonged existence is to be desired, one feels that his death would be a boon."
"Poor little child! When you think about how little people actually want him to keep living, it feels like his death would be a blessing."
"Mamma! what do you mean?" asked Molly, much shocked. "Why, every one cares for his life as the most precious thing! You have never seen him! He is the bonniest, sweetest little fellow that can be! What do you mean?"
"Mama! What do you mean?" asked Molly, clearly shocked. "Everyone values their life above all else! You've never seen him! He's the cutest, sweetest little guy there is! What do you mean?"
"I should have thought that the Squire would have desired a better-born heir than the offspring of a servant,—with all his ideas about descent and blood and family. And I should have thought that it was a little mortifying to Roger—who must naturally have looked upon himself as his brother's heir—to find a little interloping child, half French, half English, stepping into his shoes!"
"I would have thought the Squire would want a better-bred heir than the child of a servant, given all his views on lineage and family. And I would have thought it would be a bit embarrassing for Roger—who must have seen himself as his brother's heir—to find a little outsider, half French and half English, taking his place!"
"You don't know how fond they are of him,—the Squire looks upon him as the apple of his eye."
"You don’t know how much they care about him— the Squire sees him as the apple of his eye."
"Molly! Molly! pray don't let me hear you using such vulgar expressions. When shall I teach you true refinement—that refinement which consists in never even thinking a vulgar, commonplace thing! Proverbs and idioms are never used by people of education. 'Apple of his eye!' I am really shocked."
"Molly! Molly! please don’t let me hear you using such crude words. When will I teach you genuine refinement—that refinement that means never even thinking something crude or ordinary! Educated people don’t use proverbs and idioms. 'Apple of his eye!' I am truly shocked."
"Well, mamma, I'm very sorry; but after all, what I wanted to say as strongly as I could was, that the Squire loves the little boy as much as his own child; and that Roger—oh! what a shame to think that Roger—" And she stopped suddenly short, as if she were choked.
"Well, Mom, I'm really sorry; but what I wanted to say most strongly is that the Squire loves the little boy just as much as his own child; and that Roger—oh! it's such a shame to think that Roger— " And she suddenly stopped, as if she couldn't speak.
"I don't wonder at your indignation, my dear!" said Mrs. Gibson. "It is just what I should have felt at your age. But one learns the baseness of human nature with advancing years. I was wrong, though, to undeceive you so early—but depend upon it, the thought I alluded to has crossed Roger Hamley's mind!"
"I totally understand your frustration, my dear!" said Mrs. Gibson. "It's exactly how I would have felt at your age. But as you get older, you realize how low human nature can be. I was wrong to burst your bubble so soon—but trust me, the idea I mentioned has definitely crossed Roger Hamley's mind!"
"All sorts of thoughts cross one's mind—it depends upon whether one gives them harbour and encouragement," said Molly.
"All kinds of thoughts pass through your mind—it just depends on whether you let them settle in and support them," said Molly.
"My dear, if you must have the last word, don't let it be a truism. But let us talk on some more interesting subject. I asked Cynthia to buy me a silk gown in Paris, and I said I would send her word what colour I fixed upon—I think dark blue is the most becoming to my complexion; what do you say?"
"My dear, if you really have to have the last word, make sure it's not a cliché. But let's discuss something more interesting. I asked Cynthia to pick me up a silk gown in Paris, and I told her I would let her know what color I decided on—I think dark blue looks best with my complexion; what do you think?"
Molly agreed, sooner than take the trouble of thinking about the thing at all; she was far too full of her silent review of all the traits in Roger's character which had lately come under her notice, and that gave the lie direct to her stepmother's supposition. Just then they heard Mr. Gibson's step downstairs. But it was some time before he made his entrance into the room where they were sitting.
Molly agreed, rather than spend time thinking about it at all; she was too absorbed in silently reflecting on all the traits in Roger's character that she had recently noticed, which directly contradicted her stepmother's assumption. Just then, they heard Mr. Gibson's footsteps coming down the stairs. However, it took some time before he entered the room where they were sitting.
"How is little Roger?" said Molly, eagerly.
"How's little Roger doing?" Molly asked, eagerly.
"Beginning with scarlet fever, I'm afraid. It's well you left when you did, Molly. You've never had it. We must stop up all intercourse with the Hall for a time. If there's one illness I dread, it is this."
"Starting with scarlet fever, I’m afraid. It’s a good thing you left when you did, Molly. You’ve never had it. We need to cut off all contact with the Hall for a while. If there’s one illness I really fear, it’s this."
"But you go and come back to us, papa."
"But you leave and come back to us, Dad."
"Yes. But I always take plenty of precautions. However, no need to talk about risks that lie in the way of one's duty. It is unnecessary risks that we must avoid."
"Yes. But I always take plenty of precautions. However, there's no need to discuss the risks that come with fulfilling one's duty. It's the unnecessary risks that we must avoid."
"Will he have it badly?" asked Molly.
"Is he going to be in a lot of trouble?" asked Molly.
"I can't tell. I shall do my best for the wee laddie."
"I can't say. I'll do my best for the little guy."
Whenever Mr. Gibson's feelings were touched, he was apt to recur to the language of his youth. Molly knew now that he was much interested in the case.
Whenever Mr. Gibson's emotions were stirred, he tended to revert to the phrases of his youth. Molly realized now that he was very invested in the situation.
For some days there was imminent danger to the little boy; for some weeks there was a more chronic form of illness to contend with; but when the immediate danger was over and the warm daily interest was past, Molly began to realize that, from the strict quarantine her father evidently thought it necessary to establish between the two houses, she was not likely to see Roger again before his departure for Africa. Oh! if she had but made more of the uncared-for days that she had passed with him at the Hall! Worse than uncared for; days on which she had avoided him; refused to converse freely with him; given him pain by her change of manner; for she had read in his eyes, heard in his voice, that he had been perplexed and pained, and now her imagination dwelt on and exaggerated the expression of his tones and looks.
For several days, the little boy was in serious danger; for a few weeks, there was a lingering illness to deal with. But once the immediate threat had passed and the daily worries faded, Molly started to realize that, because of the strict quarantine her father thought was necessary between the two houses, she probably wouldn’t see Roger again before he left for Africa. Oh, if only she had made the most of the neglected days she spent with him at the Hall! Worse than neglected; days when she had avoided him, refused to talk openly with him, and caused him pain with her change in attitude. She had seen the confusion and hurt in his eyes and heard it in his voice, and now her imagination focused on and exaggerated the expression in his tones and looks.
One evening after dinner, her father said,—
One evening after dinner, her father said,—
"As the country-people say, I've done a stroke of work to-day. Roger Hamley and I have laid our heads together, and we've made a plan by which Mrs. Osborne and her boy will leave the Hall."
"As the locals say, I've accomplished something today. Roger Hamley and I have teamed up, and we've come up with a plan to have Mrs. Osborne and her son leave the Hall."
"What did I say the other day, Molly?" said Mrs. Gibson, interrupting, and giving Molly a look of extreme intelligence.
"What did I say the other day, Molly?" Mrs. Gibson said, interrupting and giving Molly a look that screamed intelligence.
"And go into lodgings at Jennings' farm; not four hundred yards from the Park-field gate," continued Mr. Gibson. "The Squire and his daughter-in-law have got to be much better friends over the little fellow's sick-bed; and I think he sees now how impossible it would be for the mother to leave her child, and go and be happy in France, which has been the notion running in his head all this time. To buy her off, in fact. But that one night, when I was very uncertain whether I could bring him through, they took to crying together, and condoling with each other; and it was just like tearing down a curtain that had been between them; they have been rather friends than otherwise ever since. Still Roger"—(Molly's cheeks grew warm and her eyes soft and bright; it was such a pleasure to hear his name)—"and I both agree that his mother knows much better how to manage the boy than his grandfather does. I suppose that was the one good thing she got from that hard-hearted mistress of hers. She certainly has been well trained in the management of children. And it makes her impatient, and annoyed, and unhappy, when she sees the Squire giving the child nuts and ale, and all sorts of silly indulgences, and spoiling him in every possible way. Yet she's a coward, and doesn't speak out her mind. Now by being in lodgings, and having her own servants—nice pretty rooms they are, too; we went to see them, and Mrs. Jennings promises to attend well to Mrs. Osborne Hamley, and is very much honoured, and all that sort of thing—not ten minutes' walk from the Hall, too, so that she and the little chap may easily go backwards and forwards as often as they like, and yet she may keep the control over the child's discipline and diet. In short, I think I've done a good day's work," he continued, stretching himself a little; and then with a shake rousing himself, and making ready to go out again, to see a patient who had sent for him in his absence.
"And you should stay at Jennings' farm, which is not even four hundred yards from the Park-field gate," Mr. Gibson continued. "The Squire and his daughter-in-law have become much closer over the little guy's sickbed, and I think he realizes now how impossible it would be for the mother to leave her child and be happy in France, which has been his idea all along: to buy her off, actually. But that one night, when I was really unsure if I could pull him through, they ended up crying together and comforting each other; it was like pulling down a curtain that had been between them. They’ve been more like friends ever since. Still, Roger" —(Molly's cheeks flushed, and her eyes sparkled; it felt so good to hear his name)—"and I both agree that his mother knows much better how to handle the boy than his grandfather does. I guess that's the one good thing she picked up from that cold-hearted mistress of hers. She’s definitely well-trained in caring for children. And it frustrates her and makes her unhappy when she sees the Squire giving the child nuts, ale, and all sorts of foolish indulgences, spoiling him in every way possible. Yet she’s a coward and doesn't speak her mind. Now with her being in lodgings and having her own servants— they’re nice, pretty rooms too; we went to check them out, and Mrs. Jennings promises to take good care of Mrs. Osborne Hamley, and is very honored, and all that—it's not even a ten-minute walk from the Hall. This way, she and the little guy can easily go back and forth as often as they want, while she still maintains control over the child's discipline and diet. In short, I think I’ve accomplished a lot today," he added, stretching a bit; then shaking himself awake, he got ready to head out again to see a patient who had called for him while he was away.
"A good day's work!" he repeated to himself as he ran downstairs. "I don't know when I have been so happy!" For he had not told Molly all that had passed between him and Roger. Roger had begun a fresh subject of conversation just as Mr. Gibson was hastening away from the Hall, after completing the new arrangement for Aimée and her child.
"A good day's work!" he said to himself as he ran downstairs. "I don't know when I’ve been so happy!" He hadn’t shared everything that happened between him and Roger with Molly. Roger had started a new topic just as Mr. Gibson was quickly leaving the Hall after finishing the new arrangement for Aimée and her child.
"You know that I set off next Tuesday, Mr. Gibson, don't you?" said Roger, a little abruptly.
"You know I'm leaving next Tuesday, Mr. Gibson, right?" Roger said, a bit abruptly.
"To be sure. I hope you'll be as successful in all your scientific objects as you were the last time, and have no sorrows awaiting you when you come back."
"Absolutely. I hope you achieve as much success in all your scientific endeavors as you did last time, and that you come back without any troubles waiting for you."
"Thank you. Yes. I hope so. You don't think there's any danger of infection now, do you?"
"Thanks. Yeah. I hope so. You don’t think there’s any risk of infection now, do you?"
"No! If the disease were to spread through the household, I think we should have had some signs of it before now. One is never sure, remember, with scarlet fever."
"No! If the disease were to spread through the house, I think we would have seen some signs of it by now. You can never be too sure, you know, with scarlet fever."
Roger was silent for a minute or two. "Should you be afraid," he said at length, "of seeing me at your house?"
Roger was quiet for a minute or two. "Should you be worried," he said finally, "about seeing me at your place?"
"Thank you; but I think I would rather decline the pleasure of your society there at present. It's only three weeks or a month since the child began. Besides, I shall be over here again before you go. I'm always on my guard against symptoms of dropsy. I have known it supervene."
"Thank you, but I think I’d prefer to skip the pleasure of your company right now. It’s only been about three weeks or a month since the child started. Plus, I’ll be over here again before you leave. I’m always careful about signs of dropsy. I’ve seen it happen before."
"Then I shall not see Molly again!" said Roger, in a tone and with a look of great disappointment.
"Then I won’t see Molly again!" said Roger, sounding very disappointed and looking upset.
Mr. Gibson turned his keen, observant eyes upon the young man, and looked at him in as penetrating a manner as if he had been beginning with an unknown illness. Then the doctor and the father compressed his lips and gave vent to a long intelligent whistle. "Whew!" said he.
Mr. Gibson turned his sharp, observant eyes toward the young man and examined him in a way that was as thorough as if he were dealing with an unfamiliar illness. Then the doctor and the father pressed their lips together and let out a long, knowing whistle. "Whew!" he said.
Roger's bronzed cheeks took a deeper shade.
Roger's bronzed cheeks turned a deeper shade.
"You will take a message to her from me, won't you? A message of farewell?" he pleaded.
"You'll take a message to her from me, right? A goodbye message?" he asked earnestly.
"Not I. I'm not going to be a message-carrier between any young man and young woman. I'll tell my womenkind I forbade you to come near the house, and that you're sorry to go away without bidding good-by. That's all I shall say."
"Not me. I'm not going to be a messenger between any young man and woman. I'll tell the women in my life that I told you to stay away from the house, and that you regret leaving without saying goodbye. That's all I'm going to say."
"But you do not disapprove?—I see you guess why. Oh! Mr. Gibson, just speak to me one word of what must be in your heart, though you are pretending not to understand why I would give worlds to see Molly again before I go."
"But you don't disapprove?—I can see you know why. Oh! Mr. Gibson, just tell me one thing about what must be in your heart, even though you're pretending not to understand why I would give anything to see Molly again before I leave."
"My dear boy!" said Mr. Gibson, more affected than he liked to show, and laying his hand on Roger's shoulder. Then he pulled himself up, and said gravely enough,—
"My dear boy!" Mr. Gibson said, more affected than he wanted to show, placing his hand on Roger's shoulder. Then he straightened up and said seriously enough,—
"Mind, Molly is not Cynthia. If she were to care for you, she is not one who could transfer her love to the next comer."
"Just so you know, Molly is not Cynthia. If she were to care about you, she wouldn't be someone who could easily pass her love to the next person."
"You mean not as readily as I have done," replied Roger. "I only wish you could know what a different feeling this is to my boyish love for Cynthia."
"You mean not as easily as I have," Roger replied. "I just wish you could understand how different this feels compared to my youthful love for Cynthia."
"I wasn't thinking of you when I spoke; but, however, as I might have remembered afterwards that you were not a model of constancy, let us hear what you have to say for yourself."
"I wasn't thinking about you when I spoke; however, I might remember later that you weren't exactly known for your loyalty, so let's hear your side of the story."
"Not much. I did love Cynthia very much. Her manners and her beauty bewitched me; but her letters,—short, hurried letters,—sometimes showing that she really hadn't taken the trouble to read mine through,—I cannot tell you the pain they gave me! Twelve months' solitude, in frequent danger of one's life—face to face with death—sometimes ages a man like many years' experience. Still I longed for the time when I should see her sweet face again, and hear her speak. Then the letter at the Cape!—and still I hoped. But you know how I found her, when I went to have the interview which I trusted might end in the renewal of our relations,—engaged to Mr. Henderson. I saw her walking with him in your garden, coquetting with him about a flower, just as she used to do with me. I can see the pitying look in Molly's eyes as she watched me; I can see it now. And I could beat myself for being such a blind fool as to— What must she think of me? how she must despise me, choosing the false Duessa."
"Not much. I really loved Cynthia. Her manners and her beauty captivated me; but her letters—short, rushed ones—sometimes showed that she didn't even bother to read mine all the way through. I can’t express how much pain they caused me! A year of solitude, constantly in danger of losing my life—facing death—sometimes ages a person like years of experience. Yet I still longed for the moment I would see her sweet face again and hear her voice. Then the letter from the Cape!—and I held onto hope. But you know how I found her when I went to have the conversation that I hoped would renew our relationship—engaged to Mr. Henderson. I saw her walking with him in your garden, flirting with him about a flower, just like she used to do with me. I can see the pitying look in Molly's eyes as she watched me; I can see it even now. And I could kick myself for being such a blind fool as to—What must she think of me? How she must despise me for choosing the false Duessa."
"Come, come! Cynthia isn't so bad as that. She's a very fascinating, faulty creature."
"Come on! Cynthia isn't that bad. She's a really interesting, imperfect person."
"I know! I know! I will never allow any one to say a word against her. If I called her the false Duessa it was because I wanted to express my sense of the difference between her and Molly as strongly as I could. You must allow for a lover's exaggeration. Besides, all I wanted to say was,—Do you think that Molly, after seeing and knowing that I had loved a person so inferior to herself, could ever be brought to listen to me?"
"I know! I know! I will never let anyone say a word against her. If I called her the false Duessa, it was because I wanted to make it clear just how different she is from Molly. You have to consider a lover's exaggeration. Besides, all I really wanted to say is—do you think that Molly, after seeing and knowing that I had loved someone so much less than herself, would ever be willing to listen to me?"
"I don't know. I can't tell. And even if I could, I wouldn't. Only if it's any comfort to you, I may say what my experience has taught me. Women are queer, unreasoning creatures, and are just as likely as not to love a man who has been throwing away his affection."
"I don’t know. I can’t say. And even if I could, I wouldn’t. But if it helps at all, I can share what my experience has shown me. Women are strange, unpredictable beings, and they’re just as likely to love a man who has been careless with his feelings."
"Thank you, sir!" said Roger, interrupting him. "I see you mean to give me encouragement. And I had resolved never to give Molly a hint of what I felt till I returned,—and then to try and win her by every means in my power. I determined not to repeat the former scene in the former place,—in your drawing-room,—however I might be tempted. And perhaps, after all, she avoided me when she was here last."
"Thank you, sir!" Roger said, interrupting him. "I see you want to encourage me. I had decided never to give Molly any hint of how I felt until I returned—and then to try and win her over by every means I could. I resolved not to recreate the last scene in the same place—in your living room—no matter how tempted I might be. And maybe, after all, she stayed away from me when she was here last."
"Now, Roger, I've listened to you long enough. If you've nothing better to do with your time than to talk about my daughter, I have. When you come back it will be time enough to inquire how far your father would approve of such an engagement."
"Now, Roger, I've listened to you long enough. If you don't have anything better to do with your time than talk about my daughter, I do. When you come back, it will be time to see how your father feels about such an engagement."
"He himself urged it upon me the other day—but then I was in despair—I thought it was too late."
"He brought it up to me the other day—but at that point, I was feeling hopeless—I thought it was too late."
"And what means you are likely to have of maintaining a wife?—I always thought that point was passed too lightly over when you formed your hurried engagement to Cynthia. I'm not mercenary,—Molly has some money independently of me,—that she by the way knows nothing of,—not much;—and I can allow her something. But all these things must be left till your return."
"And what resources do you expect to have to support a wife?—I always thought that was a point you brushed off too quickly when you rushed into your engagement with Cynthia. I’m not being mercenary—Molly has some money on her own, which, by the way, she doesn’t know much about;—and I can give her a little. But all these matters will have to wait until you come back."
"Then you sanction my attachment?"
"Then you approve of my bond?"
"I don't know what you mean by sanctioning it. I can't help it. I suppose losing one's daughter is a necessary evil. Still"—seeing the disappointed expression on Roger's face—"it is but fair to you to say, I'd rather give my child,—my only child, remember!—to you, than to any man in the world!"
"I don't know what you mean by allowing it. I can't help it. I guess losing your daughter is a necessary evil. Still"—noticing the disappointed look on Roger's face—"it's only fair to say that I would rather give my child—my only child, remember!—to you than to any man in the world!"
"Thank you!" said Roger, shaking hands with Mr. Gibson, almost against the will of the latter. "And I may see her, just once, before I go?"
"Thank you!" Roger said, shaking hands with Mr. Gibson, almost against his will. "And can I see her, just once, before I go?"
"Decidedly not. There I come in as doctor as well as father. No!"
"Definitely not. That's where I step in as both a doctor and a father. No!"
"But you will take a message, at any rate?"
"But will you at least take a message?"
"To my wife and to her conjointly. I will not separate them. I will not in the slightest way be a go-between."
"To my wife and her partner. I won’t divide them. I won’t act as a mediator in any way."
"Very well," said Roger. "Tell them both as strongly as you can how I regret your prohibition. I see I must submit. But if I don't come back, I'll haunt you for having been so cruel."
"Alright," said Roger. "Make sure you tell them both just how much I regret your decision. I realize I have to accept it. But if I don’t return, I’ll haunt you for being so cruel."
"Come, I like that. Give me a wise man of science in love! No one beats him in folly. Good-by."
"Come on, I like that. Give me a wise scientist who's in love! No one is more foolish than him. Goodbye."
"Good-by. You will see Molly this afternoon!"
"Goodbye. You'll see Molly this afternoon!"
"To be sure. And you will see your father. But I don't heave such portentous sighs at the thought."
"Of course. And you will see your dad. But I don't let out heavy sighs at the thought."
Mr. Gibson gave Roger's message to his wife and to Molly that evening at dinner. It was but what the latter had expected, after all her father had said of the very great danger of infection; but now that her expectation came in the shape of a final decision, it took away her appetite. She submitted in silence; but her observant father noticed that after this speech of his, she only played with the food on her plate, and concealed a good deal of it under her knife and fork.
Mr. Gibson shared Roger's message with his wife and Molly that evening at dinner. It was exactly what Molly had anticipated, considering all her father had mentioned about the serious danger of infection; however, now that her anticipation turned into a final decision, it made her lose her appetite. She stayed quiet, but her attentive father noticed that after he spoke, she only toyed with the food on her plate and hid quite a bit of it under her knife and fork.
"Lover versus father!" thought he, half sadly. "Lover wins." And he, too, became indifferent to all that remained of his dinner. Mrs. Gibson pattered on; and nobody listened.
"Lover versus father!" he thought, somewhat sadly. "Lover wins." And he also became indifferent to everything left of his dinner. Mrs. Gibson continued talking; and nobody was listening.
The day of Roger's departure came. Molly tried hard to forget it in working away at a cushion she was preparing as a present to Cynthia; people did worsted-work in those days. One, two, three. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven; all wrong: she was thinking of something else, and had to unpick it. It was a rainy day, too; and Mrs. Gibson, who had planned to go out and pay some calls, had to stay indoors. This made her restless and fidgety. She kept going backwards and forwards to different windows in the drawing-room to look at the weather, as if she imagined that while it rained at one window, it might be fine weather at another.
The day Roger was set to leave arrived. Molly tried hard to distract herself by working on a cushion she was making as a gift for Cynthia; people did needlework back then. One, two, three. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven; all wrong: her mind was elsewhere, and she had to rip it out. It was a rainy day, too; and Mrs. Gibson, who had planned to go out and visit some friends, had to stay inside. This left her feeling restless and fidgety. She kept moving back and forth between different windows in the living room to check the weather, as if she thought that while it was raining at one window, it might be nice at another.
"Molly—come here! who is that man wrapped up in a cloak,—there,—near the Park wall, under the beech-tree—he has been there this half-hour and more, never stirring, and looking at this house all the time! I think it's very suspicious."
"Molly—come here! Who is that guy in the cloak over there, by the Park wall, under the beech tree? He’s been standing there for over half an hour, not moving at all, just staring at this house! I find that really suspicious."
Molly looked, and in an instant recognized Roger under all his wraps. Her first instinct was to draw back. The next to come forwards, and say—"Why, mamma, it's Roger Hamley! Look now—he's kissing his hand; he's wishing us good-by in the only way he can!" And she responded to his sign; but she was not sure if he perceived her modest quiet movement, for Mrs. Gibson became immediately so demonstrative that Molly fancied that her eager foolish pantomimic motions must absorb all his attention.
Molly glanced over and instantly recognized Roger beneath all his layers. Her first instinct was to step back. Then she felt compelled to move forward and say, "Oh my gosh, it's Roger Hamley! Look—he's kissing his hand; he's saying goodbye in the only way he knows how!" She waved back at him, but she wasn't sure if he noticed her shy little gesture because Mrs. Gibson became so overly enthusiastic that Molly thought her eager, silly movements must be grabbing all his attention.
"I call this so attentive of him," said Mrs. Gibson, in the midst of a volley of kisses of her hand. "Really, it is quite romantic. It reminds me of former days—but he will be too late! I must send him away; it is half-past twelve!" And she took out her watch and held it up, tapping it with her forefinger, and occupying the very centre of the window. Molly could only peep here and there, dodging now up, now down, now on this side, now on that, of the perpetually-moving arms. She fancied she saw something of a corresponding movement on Roger's part. At length he went away slowly, slowly, and often looking back, in spite of the tapped watch. Mrs. Gibson at last retreated, and Molly quietly moved into her place to see his figure once more before the turn of the road hid it from her view. He, too, knew where the last glimpse of Mr. Gibson's house was to be obtained, and once more he turned, and his white handkerchief floated in the air. Molly waved hers high up, with eager longing that it should be seen. And then, he was gone! and Molly returned to her worsted-work, happy, glowing, sad, content, and thinking to herself how sweet is—friendship!
"I think it's so thoughtful of him," Mrs. Gibson said, showering kisses on her hand. "Honestly, it feels quite romantic. It takes me back to the old days—but he's going to be too late! I have to send him away; it’s half-past twelve!" She pulled out her watch, held it up, tapped it with her finger, and stood right in the middle of the window. Molly could only peek here and there, dodging up and down, side to side, avoiding the constantly moving arms. She thought she noticed Roger responding in some way. Finally, he turned to leave slowly, glancing back often despite the reminder from the watch. Mrs. Gibson eventually stepped back, and Molly quietly moved into her spot to catch one last glimpse of him before the road hid him from her sight. He knew where to catch the last view of Mr. Gibson's house, and he turned back once more, waving his white handkerchief in the air. Molly waved hers eagerly, hoping he would see it. And then, he was gone! Molly returned to her needlework, feeling happy, glowing, sad, and content, reflecting on how sweet friendship is!
When she came to a sense of the present, Mrs. Gibson was saying,—
When she became aware of her surroundings, Mrs. Gibson was saying—
"Upon my word, though Roger Hamley has never been a great favourite of mine, this little attention of his has reminded me very forcibly of a very charming young man—a soupirant, as the French would call him—Lieutenant Harper—you must have heard me speak of him, Molly?"
"Honestly, even though Roger Hamley has never been one of my favorites, this small gesture of his has strongly reminded me of a very charming young man—a soupirant, as the French would say—Lieutenant Harper—you must have heard me mention him, Molly?"
"I think I have!" said Molly, absently.
"I think I have!" Molly said, distractedly.
"Well, you remember how devoted he was to me when I was at Mrs. Duncombe's, my first situation, and I only seventeen. And when the recruiting party was ordered to another town, poor Mr. Harper came and stood opposite the schoolroom window for nearly an hour, and I know it was his doing that the band played 'The girl I left behind me,' when they marched out the next day. Poor Mr. Harper! It was before I knew dear Mr. Kirkpatrick! Dear me. How often my poor heart has had to bleed in this life of mine! not but what dear papa is a very worthy man, and makes me very happy. He would spoil me, indeed, if I would let him. Still he is not as rich as Mr. Henderson."
"Well, you remember how devoted he was to me when I was at Mrs. Duncombe's, my first job, and I was only seventeen. And when the recruiting party was sent to another town, poor Mr. Harper came and stood in front of the schoolroom window for almost an hour. I know it was his idea to have the band play 'The Girl I Left Behind Me' when they marched out the next day. Poor Mr. Harper! This was before I knew dear Mr. Kirkpatrick! My goodness. How often my poor heart has had to hurt in this life of mine! Not that dear Dad isn't a very decent man and makes me really happy. He would spoil me rotten if I let him. Still, he's not as wealthy as Mr. Henderson."
That last sentence contained the germ of Mrs. Gibson's present grievance. Having married Cynthia, as her mother put it—taking credit to herself as if she had had the principal part in the achievement—she now became a little envious of her daughter's good fortune in being the wife of a young, handsome, rich, and moderately fashionable man, who lived in London. She naïvely expressed her feelings on this subject to her husband one day when she was really not feeling quite well, and when consequently her annoyances were much more present to her mind than her sources of happiness.
That last sentence held the root of Mrs. Gibson's current complaint. After marrying Cynthia, as her mother claimed—taking credit for it as if she had played the main role in the accomplishment—she had become somewhat envious of her daughter's good luck in being married to a young, handsome, wealthy, and somewhat fashionable man living in London. One day, when she wasn’t feeling well, she openly shared her feelings about this with her husband, and at that moment, her annoyances felt much more prominent than her sources of happiness.
"It is such a pity!" said she, "that I was born when I was. I should so have liked to belong to this generation."
"It’s such a shame!" she said, "that I was born when I was. I would have really liked to be part of this generation."
"That's sometimes my own feeling," said he. "So many new views seem to be opened in science, that I should like, if it were possible, to live till their reality was ascertained, and one saw what they led to. But I don't suppose that's your reason, my dear, for wishing to be twenty or thirty years younger."
"That's how I feel sometimes," he said. "So many new perspectives in science seem to be emerging that I wish, if it were possible, to live long enough to see their reality confirmed and understand where they lead. But I don’t think that’s your reason, my dear, for wanting to be twenty or thirty years younger."
"No, indeed. And I did not put it in that hard unpleasant way; I only said I should like to belong to this generation. To tell the truth, I was thinking of Cynthia. Without vanity, I believe I was as pretty as she is—when I was a girl, I mean; I had not her dark eyelashes, but then my nose was straighter. And now look at the difference! I have to live in a little country town with three servants, and no carriage; and she with her inferior good looks will live in Sussex Place, and keep a man and a brougham, and I don't know what. But the fact is, in this generation there are so many more rich young men than there were when I was a girl."
"No, really. And I didn't put it in such a harsh way; I just said I would like to belong to this generation. To be honest, I was thinking about Cynthia. Without being vain, I believe I was as pretty as she is—when I was younger, I mean; I didn't have her dark eyelashes, but my nose was straighter. And now look at the difference! I have to live in a small country town with three servants and no carriage; while she, with her less attractive looks, will live in Sussex Place, have a manservant and a brougham, and I don't know what else. But the truth is, in this generation, there are so many more wealthy young men than there were when I was younger."
"Oh, ho! so that's your reason, is it, my dear? If you had been young now you might have married somebody as well off as Walter?"
"Oh, so that's your reason, huh, my dear? If you had been young now, you could have married someone as well off as Walter?"
"Yes!" said she. "I think that was my idea. Of course I should have liked him to be you. I always think if you had gone to the bar you might have succeeded better, and lived in London, too. I don't think Cynthia cares much where she lives, yet you see it has come to her."
"Yes!" she said. "I think that was my idea. Of course, I would have preferred him to be you. I always think if you had gone to law school, you might have had more success and lived in London as well. I don't think Cynthia really cares where she lives, but you see it has happened to her."
"What has—London?"
"What happened—London?"
"Oh, you dear, facetious man. Now that's just the thing to have captivated a jury. I don't believe Walter will ever be so clever as you are. Yet he can take Cynthia to Paris, and abroad, and everywhere. I only hope all this indulgence won't develope the faults in Cynthia's character. It's a week since we heard from her, and I did write so particularly to ask her for the autumn fashions before I bought my new bonnet. But riches are a great snare."
"Oh, you charming, witty guy. That's exactly the kind of thing that would win over a jury. I doubt Walter will ever be as clever as you. Still, he can take Cynthia to Paris and other places. I just hope all this pampering doesn't end up highlighting Cynthia's flaws. It's been a week since we heard from her, and I wrote specifically to ask her about the autumn fashions before I bought my new hat. But wealth can be very misleading."
"Be thankful you are spared temptation, my dear."
"Be grateful you’re avoiding temptation, my dear."
"No, I'm not. Everybody likes to be tempted. And, after all, it's very easy to resist temptation, if one wishes."
"No, I'm not. Everyone loves to be tempted. And, in the end, it's really easy to resist temptation if you want to."
"I don't find it so easy," said her husband.
"I don't think it's that easy," her husband said.
"Here's medicine for you, mamma," said Molly, entering with a letter held up in her hand. "A letter from Cynthia."
"Here's your medicine, Mom," said Molly, walking in with a letter held up in her hand. "A letter from Cynthia."
"Oh, you dear little messenger of good news! There was one of the heathen deities in Mangnall's Questions whose office it was to bring news. The letter is dated from Calais. They're coming home! She's bought me a shawl and a bonnet! The dear creature! Always thinking of others before herself: good fortune cannot spoil her. They've a fortnight left of their holiday! Their house is not quite ready; they're coming here. Oh, now, Mr. Gibson, we must have the new dinner-service at Watts's I've set my heart on so long! 'Home' Cynthia calls this house. I'm sure it has been a home to her, poor darling! I doubt if there is another man in the world who would have treated his step-daughter like dear papa! And, Molly, you must have a new gown."
"Oh, you sweet little messenger of good news! There was a pagan god in Mangnall's Questions whose job was to deliver news. The letter is dated from Calais. They’re coming home! She bought me a shawl and a bonnet! That lovely person! Always thinking of others before herself: good fortune can’t spoil her. They’ve got two weeks left of their vacation! Their house isn’t quite ready; they’re coming here. Oh, now, Mr. Gibson, we have to get the new dinner service from Watts that I’ve wanted for so long! Cynthia calls this house 'home.' I’m sure it’s been a home to her, poor dear! I doubt there’s another man in the world who would have treated his step-daughter like dear papa! And, Molly, you must get a new dress."
"Come, come! Remember I belong to the last generation," said Mr. Gibson.
"Come on! Remember, I'm from the last generation," Mr. Gibson said.
"And Cynthia will not notice what I wear," said Molly, bright with pleasure at the thought of seeing her again.
"And Cynthia won't notice what I'm wearing," said Molly, feeling excited at the thought of seeing her again.
"No! but Walter will. He has such a quick eye for dress, and I think I rival papa; if he's a good stepfather, I'm a good stepmother, and I could not bear to see my Molly shabby, and not looking her best. I must have a new gown too. It won't do to look as if we had nothing but the dresses which we wore at the wedding!"
"No! But Walter will. He has a great eye for fashion, and I think I can compete with Dad; if he’s a good stepdad, then I’m a good stepmom, and I can’t stand the thought of my Molly looking shabby or not putting her best foot forward. I need a new dress too. We can’t look like we’re only wearing the outfits we had at the wedding!"
But Molly stood out against the new gown for herself, and urged that if Cynthia and Walter were to come to visit them often, they had better see them as they really were, in dress, habits, and appointments. When Mr. Gibson had left the room, Mrs. Gibson softly reproached Molly for her obstinacy.
But Molly stood out in her new dress and insisted that if Cynthia and Walter were going to visit them frequently, it was better for them to see how they truly were, in terms of clothing, habits, and surroundings. After Mr. Gibson left the room, Mrs. Gibson gently criticized Molly for being stubborn.
"You might have allowed me to beg for a new gown for you, Molly, when you knew how much I had admired that figured silk at Brown's the other day. And now, of course, I can't be so selfish as to get it for myself, and you to have nothing. You should learn to understand the wishes of other people. Still, on the whole, you are a dear, sweet girl, and I only wish—well, I know what I wish; only dear papa does not like it to be talked about. And now cover me up close, and let me go to sleep, and dream about my dear Cynthia and my new shawl!"
"You could have let me ask for a new dress for you, Molly, when you knew how much I liked that patterned silk at Brown's the other day. And now, of course, I can't be selfish enough to get it for myself while you have nothing. You should try to understand what others want. Still, overall, you’re a lovely, sweet girl, and I only wish—well, I know what I wish; it’s just that dear dad doesn’t want it discussed. Now please cover me up snugly and let me sleep, dreaming about my dear Cynthia and my new shawl!"
CONCLUDING REMARKS:
[By the Editor of The Cornhill Magazine.]
Here the story is broken off, and it can never be finished. What promised to be the crowning work of a life is a memorial of death. A few days longer, and it would have been a triumphal column, crowned with a capital of festal leaves and flowers: now it is another sort of column—one of those sad white pillars which stand broken in the churchyard.
Here the story ends, and it can never be completed. What was supposed to be the greatest achievement of a lifetime is now a memorial of death. Just a few days more, and it would have become a triumphal column, adorned with festive leaves and flowers: now it’s a different kind of column—one of those sorrowful white pillars that stand broken in the graveyard.
But if the work is not quite complete, little remains to be added to it, and that little has been distinctly reflected into our minds. We know that Roger Hamley will marry Molly, and that is what we are most concerned about. Indeed, there was little else to tell. Had the writer lived, she would have sent her hero back to Africa forthwith; and those scientific parts of Africa are a long way from Hamley; and there is not much to choose between a long distance and a long time. How many hours are there in twenty-four when you are all alone in a desert place, a thousand miles from the happiness which might be yours to take—if you were there to take it? How many, when from the sources of the Topinambo your heart flies back ten times a day, like a carrier-pigeon, to the one only source of future good for you, and ten times a day returns with its message undelivered? Many more than are counted on the calendar. So Roger found. The days were weeks that separated him from the time when Molly gave him a certain little flower, and months from the time which divorced him from Cynthia, whom he had begun to doubt before he knew for certain that she was never much worth hoping for. And if such were his days, what was the slow procession of actual weeks and months in those remote and solitary places? They were like years of a stay-at-home life, with liberty and leisure to see that nobody was courting Molly meanwhile. The effect of this was, that long before the term of his engagement was ended all that Cynthia had been to him was departed from Roger's mind, and all that Molly was and might be to him filled it full.
But if the work isn’t completely finished, there’s not much left to add, and what little remains is clearly in our minds. We know that Roger Hamley will marry Molly, and that’s what we care about most. Honestly, there wasn’t much else to say. If the writer had lived, she would have sent her hero back to Africa right away; and those parts of Africa are far from Hamley; and there’s not much difference between a long distance and a long time. How many hours are in twenty-four when you’re all alone in a desolate place, a thousand miles from the happiness that could be yours—if you were there to claim it? How many, when your heart soars back ten times a day from the sources of the Topinambo to the one true source of future happiness for you, and ten times a day returns with its message undelivered? Many more than what’s marked on the calendar. That’s what Roger discovered. The days felt like weeks separating him from the moment when Molly gave him a certain little flower, and months from when he separated from Cynthia, whom he had started to doubt before he even knew for sure that she wasn’t really worth hoping for. And if his days were like that, what was the slow passage of actual weeks and months like in those distant and lonely places? They felt like years of a stay-at-home life, with the freedom and time to make sure no one else was pursuing Molly in the meantime. The result was that long before his engagement was over, everything Cynthia had meant to him faded from Roger’s mind, and all that Molly was and could be filled it completely.
He returned; but when he saw Molly again he remembered that to her the time of his absence might not have seemed so long, and was oppressed with the old dread that she would think him fickle. Therefore this young gentleman, so self-reliant and so lucid in scientific matters, found it difficult after all to tell Molly how much he hoped she loved him; and might have blundered if he had not thought of beginning by showing her the flower that was plucked from the nosegay. How charmingly that scene would have been drawn, had Mrs. Gaskell lived to depict it, we can only imagine: that it would have been charming—especially in what Molly did, and looked, and said—we know.
He came back; but when he saw Molly again, he realized that for her, his absence might not have felt as long, and he was weighed down by the old fear that she would think he was unreliable. So this young man, who was so confident and clear-headed when it came to science, found it tough to tell Molly how much he hoped she loved him. He might have messed up if he hadn’t thought to start by showing her the flower he picked from the bouquet. How beautifully that scene would have been illustrated if Mrs. Gaskell had been around to capture it, we can only imagine: that it would have been lovely—especially in what Molly did, how she looked, and what she said—we know.
Roger and Molly are married; and if one of them is happier than the other, it is Molly. Her husband has no need to draw upon the little fortune which is to go to poor Osborne's boy, for he becomes professor at some great scientific institution, and wins his way in the world handsomely. The squire is almost as happy in this marriage as his son. If any one suffers for it, it is Mr. Gibson. But he takes a partner, so as to get a chance of running up to London to stay with Molly for a few days now and then, and "to get a little rest from Mrs. Gibson." Of what was to happen to Cynthia after her marriage the author was not heard to say much; and, indeed, it does not seem that anything needs to be added. One little anecdote, however, was told of her by Mrs. Gaskell, which is very characteristic. One day, when Cynthia and her husband were on a visit to Hollingford, Mr. Henderson learned for the first time, through an innocent casual remark of Mr. Gibson's, that the famous traveller, Roger Hamley, was known to the family. Cynthia had never happened to mention it. How well that little incident, too, would have been described!
Roger and Molly are married, and if one of them is happier than the other, it’s Molly. Her husband doesn’t need to touch the small fortune meant for poor Osborne’s son, as he becomes a professor at a prestigious scientific institution and makes a good name for himself. The squire is almost as happy about this marriage as his son is. If anyone is affected by it, it’s Mr. Gibson. But he takes a partner so he can occasionally visit London to spend a few days with Molly and “get a little break from Mrs. Gibson.” The author didn’t have much to say about what would happen to Cynthia after her marriage, and frankly, it doesn’t seem like anything needs to be added. However, Mrs. Gaskell shared one little anecdote about her that is quite telling. One day, while Cynthia and her husband were visiting Hollingford, Mr. Henderson learned for the first time, through an innocent comment made by Mr. Gibson, that the famous traveler, Roger Hamley, was known to the family. Cynthia had never mentioned it before. How well that little incident could have been described!
But it is useless to speculate upon what would have been done by the delicate strong hand which can create no more Molly Gibsons—no more Roger Hamleys. We have repeated, in this brief note, all that is known of her designs for the story, which would have been completed in another chapter. There is not so much to regret, then, so far as this novel is concerned; indeed, the regrets of those who knew her are less for the loss of the novelist than of the woman—one of the kindest and wisest of her time. But yet, for her own sake as a novelist alone, her untimely death is a matter for deep regret. It is clear in this novel of Wives and Daughters, in the exquisite little story that preceded it, Cousin Phillis, and in Sylvia's Lovers, that Mrs. Gaskell had within these five years started upon a new career with all the freshness of youth, and with a mind which seemed to have put off its clay and to have been born again. But that "put off its clay" must be taken in a very narrow sense. All minds are tinctured more or less with the "muddy vesture" in which they are contained; but few minds ever showed less of base earth than Mrs. Gaskell's. It was so at all times; but lately even the original slight tincture seemed to disappear. While you read any one of the last three books we have named, you feel yourself caught out of an abominable wicked world, crawling with selfishness and reeking with base passions, into one where there is much weakness, many mistakes, sufferings long and bitter, but where it is possible for people to live calm and wholesome lives; and, what is more, you feel that this is at least as real a world as the other. The kindly spirit which thinks no ill looks out of her pages irradiate; and while we read them, we breathe the purer intelligence which prefers to deal with emotions and passions which have a living root in minds within the pale of salvation, and not with those which rot without it. This spirit is more especially declared in Cousin Phillis and Wives and Daughters—their author's latest works; they seem to show that for her the end of life was not descent amongst the clods of the valley, but ascent into the purer air of the heaven-aspiring hills.
But it's pointless to think about what the delicate yet strong hand that created Molly Gibsons and Roger Hamleys could have done—how many more such characters we miss out on. In this brief note, we've summarized everything known about her plans for the story, which would have been finished in another chapter. There's not much to regret regarding this novel; indeed, those who knew her mourn less for the loss of a novelist than for that of a remarkable woman—one of the kindest and wisest of her time. However, for her own sake, just as a novelist, her untimely death is indeed a deep loss. It's clear from this novel, Wives and Daughters, from the beautiful little story that came before it, Cousin Phillis, and from Sylvia's Lovers, that Mrs. Gaskell had embarked on a new career in those five years, full of youthful freshness and a mind that seemed reborn. But "reborn" should be understood in a specific way. All minds are somewhat tinted by the "muddy vesture" they inhabit; yet few minds reflected less of the baseness of this world than Mrs. Gaskell's. It was true at all times, but recently even the original light tint seemed to vanish. When reading any of the last three books we've mentioned, you feel as if you've been pulled from a dreadful, selfish world filled with base passions into one where there is weakness, many mistakes, and long, bitter suffering, but where it’s still possible to lead calm and wholesome lives; and more importantly, you realize that this world is just as real as the other. The kind spirit that harbors no ill will shines through her pages; while reading them, we breathe in the clearer perspective that prefers to engage with emotions and passions rooted in minds that belong within the realm of salvation, not with those that decay outside it. This spirit is especially present in Cousin Phillis and Wives and Daughters—her final works; they suggest that for her, life’s goal was not to sink into the dirt of the valley, but to rise into the purer air of the heavenward hills.
We are saying nothing now of the merely intellectual qualities displayed in these later works. Twenty years to come, that may be thought the more important question of the two; in the presence of her grave we cannot think so; but it is true, all the same, that as mere works of art and observation, these later novels of Mrs. Gaskell's are among the finest of our time. There is a scene in Cousin Phyllis—where Holman, making hay with his men, ends the day with a psalm—which is not excelled as a picture in all modern fiction; and the same may be said of that chapter of this last story in which Roger smokes a pipe with the Squire after the quarrel with Osborne. There is little in either of these scenes, or in a score of others which succeed each other like gems in a cabinet, which the ordinary novel-maker could "seize." There is no "material" for him in half-a-dozen farming men singing hymns in a field, or a discontented old gentleman smoking tobacco with his son. Still less could he avail himself of the miseries of a little girl sent to be happy in a fine house full of fine people; but it is just in such things as these that true genius appears brightest and most unapproachable. It is the same with the personages in Mrs. Gaskell's works. Cynthia is one of the most difficult characters which have ever been attempted in our time. Perfect art always obscures the difficulties it overcomes; and it is not till we try to follow the processes by which such a character as the Tito of Romola is created, for instance, that we begin to understand what a marvellous piece of work it is. To be sure, Cynthia was not so difficult, nor is it nearly so great a creation as that splendid achievement of art and thought—of the rarest art, of the profoundest thought. But she also belongs to the kind of characters which are conceived only in minds large, clear, harmonious and just, and which can be portrayed fully and without flaw only by hands obedient to the finest motions of the mind. Viewed in this light, Cynthia is a more important piece of work even than Molly, delicately as she is drawn, and true and harmonious as that picture is also. And what we have said of Cynthia may be said with equal truth of Osborne Hamley. The true delineation of a character like that is as fine a test of art as the painting of a foot or a hand, which also seems so easy, and in which perfection is most rare. In this case the work is perfect. Mrs. Gaskell has drawn a dozen characters more striking than Osborne since she wrote Mary Barton, but not one which shows more exquisite finish.
We’re not even touching on the intellectual qualities shown in these later works. Twenty years from now, that might seem like the more important issue; standing before her grave, we can’t think that way; but it’s still true that as pure art and observation, Mrs. Gaskell’s later novels are among the best of our time. There’s a scene in Cousin Phyllis—where Holman, working in the hay with his team, ends the day singing a psalm—that isn’t surpassed as a depiction in modern fiction; the same goes for that chapter in this last story where Roger smokes a pipe with the Squire after his argument with Osborne. There’s not much in either of these scenes, or in many others that flow like gems in a collection, that the average novelist could “capture.” There’s no “material” for him in a handful of farmers singing hymns in a field, or a disgruntled old man smoking tobacco with his son. Even less could he draw from the troubles of a little girl trying to be happy in a grand house full of fancy people; yet it's precisely in these moments that true genius shines brightest and most uniquely. The same goes for the characters in Mrs. Gaskell's works. Cynthia is one of the most challenging characters ever created in our time. True artistry always hides the challenges it overcomes; it’s only when we try to understand how a character like Tito from Romola is brought to life that we realize what an incredible piece of work it is. Of course, Cynthia wasn’t as difficult, nor is she nearly as significant as that remarkable feat of art and thought—of the rarest talent and deepest reflection. But she also belongs to a category of characters that can only be conceived in minds that are large, clear, harmonious, and just, and can only be fully and flawlessly depicted by hands that respond to the finest impulses of the mind. In this light, Cynthia is even a more important creation than Molly, delicate though she is, and true and harmonious as that depiction is. What we’ve said about Cynthia can equally be said about Osborne Hamley. Accurately depicting a character like him is as fine a test of artistry as painting a foot or a hand, which also seems easy, yet perfection is quite rare there. In this case, the work is flawless. Mrs. Gaskell has created a dozen characters more striking than Osborne since she wrote Mary Barton, but none displays more exquisite craftsmanship.
Another thing we may be permitted to notice, because it has a great and general significance. It may be true that this is not exactly the place for criticism, but since we are writing of Osborne Hamley, we cannot resist pointing out a peculiar instance of the subtler conceptions which underlie all really considerable works. Here are Osborne and Roger, two men who, in every particular that can be seized for description, are totally different creatures. Body and mind they are quite unlike. They have different tastes; they take different ways: they are men of two sorts which, in the society sense, never "know" each other; and yet, never did brotherly blood run more manifest than in the veins of those two. To make that manifest without allowing the effort to peep out for a single moment, would be a triumph of art; but it is a "touch beyond the reach of art" to make their likeness in unlikeness so natural a thing that we no more wonder about it than we wonder at seeing the fruit and the bloom on the same bramble: we have always seen them there together in blackberry season, and do not wonder about it nor think about it at all. Inferior writers, even some writers who are highly accounted, would have revelled in the "contrast," persuaded that they were doing a fine anatomical dramatic thing by bringing it out at every opportunity. To the author of Wives and Daughters this sort of anatomy was mere dislocation. She began by having the people of her story born in the usual way, and not built up like the Frankenstein monster; and thus when Squire Hamley took a wife, it was then provided that his two boys should be as naturally one and diverse as the fruit and the bloom on the bramble. "It goes without speaking." These differences are precisely what might have been expected from the union of Squire Hamley with the town-bred, refined, delicate-minded woman whom he married; and the affection of the young men, their kindness (to use the word in its old and new meanings at once) is nothing but a reproduction of those impalpable threads of love which bound the equally diverse father and mother in bonds faster than the ties of blood.
Another thing worth noticing, because it has great significance. It may be true that this isn't exactly the place for criticism, but since we're talking about Osborne Hamley, we can’t help but point out a unique example of the subtler ideas that underlie all truly important works. Here are Osborne and Roger, two men who, in every aspect that can be described, are completely different. Body and mind, they are unlike each other. They have different interests, they take different paths: they are two kinds of men who, socially speaking, never "know" each other; and yet, never has brotherly blood been more evident than in those two. To show that without letting the effort show for even a moment would be a triumph of art; but it is a "touch beyond the reach of art" to make their similarities in difference feel so natural that we don’t even think about it any more than we wonder at seeing fruit and flowers on the same bramble: we’ve always seen them there together in blackberry season and don’t give it a second thought. Lesser writers, even some who are well-regarded, would have reveled in the "contrast," convinced that they were crafting something dramatically impressive by highlighting it at every chance. For the author of Wives and Daughters, this kind of anatomy was mere disruption. She started by having her characters born in the usual way, not created like a Frankenstein monster; and therefore, when Squire Hamley took a wife, she ensured that his two boys would be as naturally similar and different as the fruit and flowers on the bramble. "It goes without saying." These differences are exactly what you would expect from the union of Squire Hamley with the city-bred, refined, delicate-minded woman he married; and the affection between the young men, their kindness (using the term in both its old and new meanings) is nothing but a reflection of those delicate threads of love that bound their equally diverse father and mother in ties stronger than those of blood.
But we will not permit ourselves to write any more in this vein. It is unnecessary to demonstrate to those who know what is and what is not true literature that Mrs. Gaskell was gifted with some of the choicest faculties bestowed upon mankind; that these grew into greater strength and ripened into greater beauty in the decline of her days; and that she has gifted us with some of the truest, purest works of fiction in the language. And she was herself what her works show her to have been—a wise, good woman.
But we won't allow ourselves to write any more like this. It's unnecessary to prove to those who understand what is and isn't true literature that Mrs. Gaskell had some of the best qualities given to humanity; that these qualities grew stronger and more beautiful as she grew older; and that she gave us some of the truest, purest works of fiction in the language. And she was exactly what her works reveal her to be—a wise, kind woman.
Download ePUB
If you like this ebook, consider a donation!