This is a modern-English version of Cats: Their Points and Characteristics: With Curiosities of Cat Life, and a Chapter on Feline Ailments, originally written by Stables, Gordon. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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CATS:
Their Points and Characteristics.

 

 

“SHIPMATES.”

"Shipmates."

 

 

“CATS:”

“CATS:”

THEIR

THEIR

Points and Characteristics,

Points and Features,

WITH

WITH

Curiosities of Cat Life,

Cat Life Curiosities,

AND

AND

A CHAPTER ON FELINE AILMENTS.

A CHAPTER ON CAT AILMENTS.

 

BY
W. GORDON STABLES, M.D., C.M., R.N.,
Author of
“Medical Life in the Navy,” “Wild Adventures in the Far North,”
The “Newfoundland and Watch Dog,” in Webb’s Book on Dogs,
etc. etc.

BY
W. Gordon Stables, M.D., C.M., R.N.,
Author of
"Medical Life in the Navy," "Wild Adventures in the Far North,"
"The Newfoundland and Watch Dog," in Webb's Book on Dogs,
etc. etc.

 

 

LONDON: DEAN & SON,
ST. DUNSTAN’S BUILDINGS, 160A, FLEET STREET, E.C.

LONDON: DEAN & SON,
ST. DUNSTAN’S BUILDINGS, 160A, FLEET STREET, E.C.

 

 


CONTENTS.

VOL. I.
CHAPTER.   PAGE
I. Sorry 1
II. Cat on her Native Hearth 3
III. Pussy’s Love for Kids 26
IV. Pussy "Poll" 36
V. Wisdom of Cats 44
VI. A Cat that Observes the Sabbath 61
VII. Truthful Cats 64
VIII. The Ploughman’s "Mysie" 70
IX. The Resilience of Cats 74
X. Cat Nomadism 87
XI. Can you trust cats? 94
XII. Cat as a Mom 109
XIII. Family Bonds and Affection 125
XIV. Fishing Adventures 141
XV. Blinks' Adventures 151
XVI. Hunting Adventures 190
XVII. Cock-Jock and the Cat 200
XVIII. Nursing Uncertainties 209
XIX. Pussy's Playmates 221
XX. Pussy and the Hare 230
XXI. The Miller's Friend: A Story 235
  Addenda. Including the Names and Addresses of
the Vouchers for the Authenticity of the
Stories
267
 [Pg viii]
VOL. II.
CHAPTER.   PAGE
I. The History and Ancient Roots of the Domestic Cat 278
II. Classification and Points 285
III. Cat's Patience and Cleanliness 307
IV. Skills and Training 319
V. Cruelty to Cats 329
VI. Parliamentary Protection for the House Cat 356
VII. Cat Health Issues 366
VIII. Miscellaneous Items 387
IX. The Two "Muffies": A Story 410
X. Black Tom, the Skipper’s Imp. A Story 440
  Addenda. Including the Names and Addresses of
the Vouchers for the Authenticity of the
Stories
479

 

 


SPRATT’S PATENT

SPRATT'S PATENT

CAT FOOD.

Cat Food.

It has long been considered that the food given to that useful domestic favourite, the CAT, is the sole cause of all the diseases it suffers from; nearly all Cats in towns are fed on boiled horseflesh, in many cases diseased and conveying disease.

It has long been believed that the food we give to our beloved pet, the CAT, is the main cause of all the illnesses it suffers from; almost all Cats in cities are fed boiled horsemeat, which in many cases is diseased and can spread illness.

This Food is introduced to entirely supersede the present unwholesome practice; it is made from pure fresh beef and other sound materials, not from horseflesh or other deleterious substances. It will be found the cheapest food to preserve the health and invigorate the constitution, prolong the existence, and extend the usefulness, gentleness, and cleanliness of the Cat.

This food is designed to completely replace the current unhealthy practices; it is made from pure fresh beef and other wholesome ingredients, not from horsemeat or any harmful substances. It will be the most affordable food to maintain health, boost vitality, prolong life, and enhance the usefulness, gentleness, and cleanliness of the cat.

Sold in 1d. Packets only. Each Packet contains sufficient to feed a Cat for two days. The wrapper of every Packet is the same in colour, and bears the Trade Mark as above, and the name of the Patentee, and no other Packet is genuine.

Sold in 1d. packets only. Each packet contains enough to feed a cat for two days. The wrapper of every packet is the same color, featuring the trademark as shown above and the name of the patent holder, with no other packet being genuine.

DIRECTIONS FOR USE.

USE INSTRUCTIONS.

Mix the food with a little milk or water, making it crumbly moist, not sloppy.

Mix the food with a bit of milk or water, making it crumbly and moist, not soggy.

SPRATT’S PATENT MEAT FIBRINE DOG CAKES, 22s. per cwt., Carriage Paid.

SPRATT’S PATENT MEAT FIBRINE DOG CAKES, 22s. per cwt., Delivery Included.

SPRATT’S PATENT POULTRY FOOD, 22s. per cwt., Carriage Paid.

SPRATT’S PATENT POULTRY FOOD, £1.10 per cwt., Delivery Included.

SPRATT’S PATENT GRANULATED PRAIRIE MEAT CRISSEL, 28s. per cwt., Carriage Paid.

SPRATT’S PATENT GRANULATED PRAIRIE MEAT CRISSEL, 28shillings per hundredweight, Delivery Included.

Address—SPRATT’S PATENT,
HENRY STREET, BERMONDSEY STREET, TOOLEY STREET, S.E.

Address—SPRATT’S PATENT,
HENRY STREET, BERMONDSEY STREET, TOOLEYSTREET, S.E.

 

TO
Lady Mildred Beresford-Hope,
AND
Lady Dorothy Nevill,
THIS WORK
Is dedicated
With feelings of regard and esteem,
BY
THE AUTHOR.

TO
Lady Mildred Beresford-Hope,
AND
Lady Dorothy Nevill,
THIS WORK
Is dedicated
With respect and appreciation,
BY
THE AUTHOR.

 

 

CAT MEDICINE CHEST,

Beautifully fitted up with everything necessary
to keep Pussy in Health, or to Cure
her when Ill.


The Medicines are done up in a new form, now
introduced for the first time, are easy to
administer, and do not soil the fur.

A NICELY FINISHED ARTICLE,

Highly Suitable for a Present.

PRICE, with Synopsis of Diseases of Cats and their
Treatment, 21s.

LONDON: DEAN & SON,
FACTORS, PUBLISHERS,

Valentine, Birthday, Christmas, and Easter Card
Manufacturers,

ST. DUNSTAN’S BUILDINGS, 160A, FLEET STREET.

Cat Medicine Kit,

Perfectly equipped with everything needed
to keep your cat healthy or to help
her when she’s unwell.


The medicines come in a new format, introduced for the first time, that is easy to give and won't stain the fur.

A NICELY FINISHED ITEM,

Great for a gift.

PRICE, including a Guide to Cat Diseases and their
Treatment, 21s.

LONDON: DEAN & SON,
MANUFACTURERS, PUBLISHERS,

Valentine, Birthday, Christmas, and Easter Card
Makers,

ST. DUNSTAN’S BUILDINGS, 160A, FLEET STREET.

 

 


CATS.

Cats.

 

CHAPTER I.

[See Note A, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

APOLOGETIC.

Sorry.

“If ye mane to write a preface to your book, sure you must put it in the end entoirely.”

“If you plan to write a preface for your book, you should definitely put it at the very end.”

Such was the advice an Irish friend gave me, when I talked of an introductory chapter to the present work on cats. I think it was a good one. Whether it be owing to our style of living now-a-days, which tends more to the development of brain than muscle; or whether it be, as Darwin says, that we really are descended from the ape, and, as the years roll on, are losing that essentially animal virtue—patience; certainly it is true that we cannot tolerate prefaces, preludes, and long graces before meat, as our grandfathers did. A preface, like Curaçoa—and—B, before dinner, ought to be short and sweet: something[Pg 2] merely to give an edge to appetite, or it had as well be put in the “end entoirely,” or better still, in the fire.

That was the advice an Irish friend gave me when I mentioned writing an introductory chapter for this book about cats. I think it was good advice. Whether it’s because our lifestyle today focuses more on developing our minds than our bodies, or because, as Darwin suggests, we might actually be descended from apes and are gradually losing that essential animal trait—patience; it’s definitely true that we can’t stand prefaces, introductions, and long speeches before we get to the main point, like our grandparents used to. A preface, like a nice drink before dinner, should be brief and enjoyable: just something to whet the appetite, or it might as well be saved for the end entirely, or even better, thrown in the fire.

I presume, then, the reader is fond of the domestic cat; if only for the simple reason that God made it. Yes; God made it, and man mars it. Pussy is an ill-used, much persecuted, little understood, and greatly slandered animal. It is with the view, therefore, of gaining for our little fireside friend a greater meed of justice than she has hitherto obtained, of removing the ban under which she mostly lives, and making her life a more pleasant and happy one, that the following pages are written; and I shall deem it a blessing if I am in any way successful. I have tried to paint pussy just as she is, without the aid of “putty and varnish;” and I have been at no small pains to prove the authenticity of the various anecdotes, and can assure the reader that they are all strictly true.

I assume the reader likes domestic cats, if only because God created them. Yes, God made them, and humans often mistreat them. Cats are often misjudged, poorly treated, and unfairly criticized. With this in mind, the following pages aim to give our little companions the recognition they deserve, lift the negative stigma surrounding them, and help make their lives happier and more enjoyable. I would consider it a blessing if I am in any way successful. I have tried to portray cats exactly as they are, without any embellishments; and I have gone to great lengths to verify the authenticity of the various stories, assuring the reader that they are all strictly true.

 

 


CHAPTER II.

[See Note B, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

PUSSY ON HER NATIVE HEARTH.

PUSSY ON HER HOME HEARTH.

“It wouldn’t have surprised me a bit, doctor,” said my gallant captain to me, on the quarter-deck of the saucy Pen-gun,—“It wouldn’t have surprised me a bit, if they had sent you on board, minus the head. A nice thing that would have been, with so many hands sick.”

“It wouldn’t have surprised me at all, doctor,” said my brave captain to me, on the quarter-deck of the saucy Pen-gun,—“It wouldn’t have surprised me at all, if they had sent you on board without your head. That would have been something, with so many people sick.”

“And rather unconvenient for me,” I added, stroking my neck.

“And that's pretty inconvenient for me,” I added, rubbing my neck.

I had been explaining to the gentleman, that my reason for not being off the night before, was my finding myself on the desert side of the gates of Aden after sun-down. A strange motley cut-throat band I had found myself among, too. Wild Somalis, half-caste Indian Jews, Bedouin Arabs, and burly Persian merchants, all armed with sword and spear and shield, and long rifles that, judging by their build, seemed made to shoot round corners. Strings of camels lay on the[Pg 4] ground; and round each camp-fire squatted these swarthy sons of the desert, engaged in talking, eating, smoking, or quarrelling, as the case might be. Unless at Falkirk tryst, I had never been among such a parcel of rogues in my life. I myself was armed to the teeth: that is, I had nothing but my tongue wherewith to defend myself. I could not help a feeling of insecurity taking possession of me; there seemed to be a screw that wanted tightening somewhere about my neck. Yet I do not now repent having spent that night in the desert, as it has afforded me the opportunity of settling that long-disputed question—the origin of the domestic cat.

I had been explaining to the guy that the reason I didn’t leave the night before was that I found myself on the desert side of the gates of Aden after sunset. I had also ended up among a strange, rough group. There were wild Somalis, half-caste Indian Jews, Bedouin Arabs, and big Persian merchants, all armed with swords, spears, shields, and long rifles that, judging by their design, seemed meant to shoot around corners. Strings of camels lay on the[Pg 4] ground, and around each campfire sat these dark-skinned sons of the desert, talking, eating, smoking, or arguing, depending on the moment. Unless at Falkirk tryst, I had never been among such a crowd of rogues in my life. I myself was fully packed: that is, I had nothing but my wit to defend myself. I couldn’t shake the feeling of insecurity that took over me; it felt like there was something tightening around my neck. Still, I don’t regret spending that night in the desert, as it gave me the chance to settle that long-disputed question—the origin of the domestic cat.

Some have searched Egyptian annals for the origin of their pet, some Persian, and some assert they can trace its descent from the days of Noah. I can go a long way beyond that. It is difficult to get over the flood, though; but I suppose my typical cat belonged to some one of the McPherson clan. McPhlail was telling McPherson, that he could trace his genealogy from the days of Noah.

Some people have looked through Egyptian records to find the origin of their pets, some have looked to Persia, and others claim they can trace their lineage back to the time of Noah. I can go much further than that. It’s hard to get past the flood, though; but I guess my typical cat was owned by someone in the McPherson family. McPhlail was telling McPherson that he could trace his family tree back to the days of Noah.

[Pg 5]“And mine,” said the rival clansman, “from nine hundred years before that.”

[Pg 5]“And mine,” said the rival clansman, “from nine hundred years earlier than that.”

“But the flood, you know?” hinted the McPhlail.

“But the flood, you know?” suggested the McPhlail.

“And did you ever hear of a Phairson that hadn’t a boat of his own?” was the indignant retort.

“And have you ever heard of a Phairson who didn't have a boat of his own?” was the angry reply.

In the midst of a group of young Arabs, was one that attracted my special attention. He was an old man who looked, with his snow-white beard, his turban and robes, as venerable as one of Doré’s patriarchs. In sonorous tones, in his own noble language, he was reading from a book in his lap, while one arm was coiled lovingly round a beautiful long-haired cat. Beside this man I threw myself down. The fierceness of his first glance, which seemed to resent my intrusion, melted into a smile as sweet as a woman’s, when I began to stroke and admire his cat. Just the same story all the world over,—praise a man’s pet and he’ll do anything for you; fight for you, or even lend you money. That Arab shared his supper with me.

Amid a group of young Arabs, one man caught my eye. He was an old man who, with his snow-white beard, turban, and robes, looked as venerable as one of Doré’s patriarchs. With a deep voice, in his own beautiful language, he was reading a book resting in his lap, while one arm lovingly wrapped around a gorgeous long-haired cat. I sat down beside him. The intensity of his initial glare, which seemed to resent my presence, transformed into a smile as sweet as a woman’s when I started to pet and compliment his cat. It's the same story everywhere—praise someone's pet, and they’ll do anything for you; fight for you or even lend you money. That Arab shared his supper with me.

“Ah! my son,” he said, “more than my[Pg 6] goods, more than my horse, I love my cat. She comforts me. More than the smoke she soothes me. Allah is great and good; when our first mother and father went out into the mighty desert alone, He gave them two friends to defend and comfort them—the dog and the cat. In the body of the cat He placed the spirit of a gentle woman; in the dog the soul of a brave man. It is true, my son; the book hath it.”

“Ah! my son,” he said, “more than my[Pg 6] possessions, more than my horse, I love my cat. She brings me comfort. More than the smoke, she calms me. God is great and good; when our first parents ventured out into the vast desert alone, He gave them two companions to protect and comfort them—the dog and the cat. In the body of the cat, He placed the spirit of a gentle woman; in the dog, the soul of a brave man. It’s true, my son; the book says so.”

After this I remained for some time speculatively silent.

After this, I stayed quiet for a while, lost in thought.

The old man’s story may be taken—according to taste—with or without a grain of salt; but we must admit it is as good a way of accounting for domestic pussy’s origin as any other.

The old man's story can be taken—depending on your preference—with or without a grain of salt; but we have to admit it’s as good an explanation for how domestic cats came to be as any other.

There really is, moreover, a great deal of the woman’s nature in the cat. Like a woman, pussy prefers a settled home to leading a roving life. Like a true woman, she is fond of fireside comforts. Then she is so gentle in all her ways, so kind, so loving, and so forgiving. On your return from business, the very look of her honest face, as she sits[Pg 7] purring on the hearth-rug, with the pleasant adjuncts of a bright fire and hissing tea-urn, tends to make you forget all the cares of the day. When you are dull and lonely, how often does her “punky humour,” her mirth-provoking attitudes and capers banish ennui. And if you are ill, how carefully she will watch by your bedside and keep you company. How her low song will lull you, her soft caresses soothe you, giving you more real consolation from the looks of concern exhibited on her loving little face, than any language could convey.

There’s actually a lot of a woman’s nature in a cat. Like a woman, a cat prefers a stable home over wandering around. Like a true woman, she enjoys the comforts of being by the fire. She’s gentle in all her actions, kind, loving, and forgiving. When you come back home from work, the sight of her honest face as she sits[Pg 7] purring on the rug, with the cozy glow of a fire and the sound of a bubbling tea kettle, makes you forget all the stress of the day. When you’re feeling down and lonely, how often does her playful nature and amusing poses lift your spirits? And if you’re sick, how carefully she watches over you at your bedside and keeps you company. Her soft purring lulls you to sleep, and her gentle touches comfort you, offering more genuine solace from the concern in her loving little face than any words could express.

On the other hand, like a woman, she is prying and curious. A locked cupboard is often a greater source of care and thought to pussy, than the secret chamber was to the wife of Blue Beard. I’m sure it is only because she cannot read that she refrains from opening your letters of a morning, and only because she cannot speak that she keeps a secret. Like a woman, too, she dearly loves a gossip, and will have it too, even if it be by night on the tiles, at the risk of keeping the neighbours awake. Oh! I’m[Pg 8] far from sure that the Arab isn’t right, after all.

On the other hand, just like a woman, she is nosy and inquisitive. A locked cupboard often worries and occupies her mind more than the hidden room did for Blue Beard's wife. I'm convinced it's only because she can't read that she holds back from opening your letters in the morning, and only because she can't speak that she keeps a secret. Like a woman, she also loves to gossip dearly and will have it, even if it means chatting at night on the roof, risking waking up the neighbors. Oh! I’m[Pg 8] not so sure that the Arab isn’t right after all.

Pussy, from the very day she opens her wondering eyes and stares vacantly around her, becomes an object worthy of study and observation. Indeed, kittens, even before their eyes are opened, will know your voice or hand, and spit at a stranger’s. The first year of pussy’s existence is certainly the happiest. No creature in the world is so fond of fun and mischief as a kitten. Everything that moves or is movable, from its mother’s tail to the table-cloth, must minister to its craze for a romp; but what pen could describe its intense joy, its pride and self-satisfaction, when, for the first time it has caught a real live mouse? This is as much an episode in the life of a kitten, as her first ball is to a young lady just out. Nor do well-trained and properly-fed cats ever lose this innate sense of fun, and love of the ridiculous. They lose their teeth first. I have seen demure old cats, of respectable matronly aspect,—cats that ought to have known better,—leave their kittens when only [Pg 9]a day old, and gambol round the room after a cork till tired and giddy.

Kittens, from the moment they open their curious eyes and look around in wonder, become subjects for study and observation. In fact, even before their eyes open, they can recognize your voice or hand and will hiss at strangers. The first year of a kitten's life is definitely the happiest. No other creature is as playful and mischievous as a kitten. Everything that moves or can be moved, from its mother's tail to the tablecloth, becomes part of its craziness for fun; but what words could capture its sheer joy, pride, and satisfaction when it catches a real live mouse for the first time? This is as significant in a kitten's life as a young woman's first ball. Well-trained and well-fed cats never completely lose this natural sense of fun and love for silliness. They first lose their teeth. I've seen dignified old cats, with an air of respectable maturity—cats that should know better—leave their kittens when they’re just [Pg 9]a day old, and playfully chase a cork around the room until they’re worn out and dizzy.

 

BLACK and WHITE.
First Prize—Owned by J. Bradden, Esq.

BLACK and WHITE.
First Prize—Owned by J. Bradden, Esq.

 

WILD CAT (Half-Bred).
First Prize—Owned by A. H. Seager, Esq.

WILD CAT (Half-Bred).
First Prize—Owned by A. H. Seager, Esq.

 

Cats of the right sort never fail to bring their kittens up in the way they should go, and soon succeed in teaching them all they know themselves. They will bring in living mice for them, and always take more pride in the best warrior-kitten than in the others. They will also inculcate the doctrine of cleanliness in their kits, so that the carpet shall never be wet. I have often been amused at seeing my own cat bringing kitten after kitten to the sand-box, and showing it how to use it, in action explaining to them what it was there for. When a little older, she entices them out to the garden.

Cats of the right kind always raise their kittens the right way and quickly teach them everything they know. They bring in live mice for their kittens and take more pride in the best little hunter than the rest. They also teach their kittens the importance of cleanliness, ensuring the carpet stays dry. I've often been entertained watching my own cat bring one kitten after another to the litter box, showing them how to use it and explaining its purpose. Once they're a bit older, she lures them outside to the garden.

Cats can easily be taught to be polite and well-mannered. It depends upon yourself, whether you allow your favourite to sit either on your shoulder or on the table at meal-times, or to wait demurely on the hearth till you have finished. In any case, her appetite should never get the better of her good manners.

Cats can be easily taught to be polite and well-mannered. It’s up to you whether you let your pet sit on your shoulder or on the table during meals, or if you prefer her to patiently wait by the hearth until you're done. Either way, her appetite should never take precedence over her good manners.

“We always teach our cats,” writes a[Pg 10] lady to me, “to wait patiently while the family are at their meals, after which they are served. Although we never keep a dish for them standing in a corner, as some people do, yet we never had a cat-thief. Our Tom and Topsy used to sit on a chair beside my brother, near the table, with only their heads under the level of it. They would peep up occasionally to see if the meal were nearly over; but on being reminded that their time had not come, they would immediately close their eyes and feign to be asleep.

“We always teach our cats,” a lady wrote to me, “to wait patiently while the family eats, and then they get served. Although we never leave a dish for them in the corner like some people do, we’ve never had a cat-thief. Our Tom and Topsy would sit on a chair next to my brother, just below the table. They would occasionally peek up to check if the meal was almost over; but when reminded that their time hadn’t come yet, they would immediately close their eyes and pretend to be asleep.”

“Poor old Tom knew the time my brother came in from business, and if five or ten minutes past his time, he would go to the door and listen, then come back to the fireside showing every symptom of impatience and anxiety. He knew the footsteps of every member of the family, and would start up, before the human ear could detect a sound, and hasten to the door to welcome the comer. He knew the knock of people who were frequent visitors, and would greet the knock of a stranger with an angry growl.

“Poor old Tom knew when my brother got home from work, and if it was five or ten minutes later than usual, he would go to the door and listen, then come back to the fireplace looking really impatient and anxious. He recognized the footsteps of everyone in the family and would jump up, even before anyone could hear a sound, and rush to the door to greet whoever was coming. He even recognized the knocks of our frequent visitors and would respond to a stranger's knock with an annoyed growl.”

“Tom would never eat a mouse until he[Pg 11] had shown it to some member of the family, and been requested to eat it; and although brought up in a country village, made himself perfectly at home in Glasgow, although living on the third floor. But poor faithful fellow, after sticking to us through all the varied changes of fourteen years, one wintry morning—he had been out all night—when I drew up the window to call him, he answered me with such a plaintive voice, that I at once hastened down to see what was the matter. He was lying helpless and bleeding among the snow, with one leg broken. He died.”

“Tom would never eat a mouse until he[Pg 11] showed it to someone in the family and was asked to eat it; and even though he grew up in a rural village, he felt completely at home in Glasgow, despite living on the third floor. But the poor, loyal guy, after sticking with us through all the ups and downs of fourteen years, one cold winter morning—having been out all night—when I opened the window to call him, he responded with such a sad voice that I quickly rushed downstairs to see what was wrong. He was lying there, helpless and bleeding in the snow, with one leg broken. He died.”

Cats will often attach themselves to some one member of a family in preference to all others. They are as a rule more fond of children than grown-up people, and usually lavish more affection on a woman than a man. They have particular tastes too, as regards some portions of the house in which they reside, often selecting some room or corner of a room which they make their “sanctum sanctorum.”

Cats often choose one family member to bond with over all the others. Generally, they tend to like children more than adults and typically show more affection towards women than men. They also have their own preferences when it comes to certain areas of the house, often picking a specific room or corner that they claim as their personal space.

Talking of her cats, a lady correspondent[Pg 12] says:—“Toby’s successor was a black and white kitten we called Jenny. Jenny was considered my father’s cat, as she followed him and no one else. Our house and that of an aunt were near to each other, and on Sabbath mornings it was my father’s invariable custom to walk in the garden, closely followed by Jenny, afterwards going in to visit his sister before going to church. Jenny enjoyed those visits amazingly; every one was so fond of her, and she was so much admired, that she began to pay them visits of her own accord upon weekdays. I am sorry to say that Jenny eventually abused the hospitality thus held out to her. For, as time wore on, pussy had, unknown to us, been making her own private arrangements for an event of great interest which was to occur before very long. And this is how it was discovered when it did come off. Some ladies had been paying my aunt a visit, and the conversation not unnaturally turned on dress.

Talking about her cats, a lady correspondent[Pg 12] says:—“Toby’s successor was a black and white kitten we named Jenny. Jenny was considered my father’s cat since she followed him and no one else. Our house and my aunt's were close to each other, and on Sabbath mornings, my father always walked in the garden, closely followed by Jenny, then went in to visit his sister before heading to church. Jenny loved those visits; everyone adored her, and she was so admired that she began to visit them on her own during the week. Unfortunately, Jenny eventually took advantage of the hospitality offered to her. As time passed, without us knowing, she had been making her own plans for a significant event that was coming up soon. This is how we discovered it when it finally happened. Some ladies had been visiting my aunt, and the conversation naturally turned to fashion."

“‘Oh! but,’ said my aunt, ‘you must have a sight of my new velvet bonnet,—so[Pg 13] handsome,—one pound fifteen shillings,—and came from London. I do trust it won’t rain on Sunday. Eliza, go for the box under the dressing-table in the spare bedroom.’

“‘Oh! But,’ said my aunt, ‘you have to see my new velvet bonnet—it's so[Pg 13] beautiful—cost me one pound fifteen shillings—and I got it from London. I really hope it doesn’t rain on Sunday. Eliza, please get the box from under the dressing table in the spare bedroom.’”

“Although the door of this room was kept constantly shut, the window was opened by day to admit the fresh air. It admitted more,—it admitted Jenny,—and Jenny did not hesitate to avail herself of the convenience of having her kittens in that room.

“Even though the door of this room was always closed, the window was opened during the day to let in fresh air. It let in more than that—it let in Jenny—and Jenny didn't hold back from taking advantage of the opportunity to have her kittens in that room.”

“Eliza had not been gone five minutes, when she returned screaming,—‘Oh, murther! murther!’ that is all she said. She just ran back again, screaming the same words, and my aunt and friends hastened after her. The sight that met their gaze was in no way alarming: it was only Jenny cosily ensconced in the box—the bonnet altered in shape to suit circumstances—looking the picture of innocence and joy as she sung to six blind kittens.

“Eliza had only been gone for five minutes when she came back screaming, ‘Oh, murder! murder!’ That was all she said. She just ran back, screaming the same thing, and my aunt and friends rushed after her. What they found was not alarming at all: it was just Jenny comfortably settled in the box—her bonnet reshaped to fit the situation—looking completely innocent and happy as she sang to six blind kittens.

“Summary and condign was the punishment that fell on the unlucky Jenny. The kittens were ordered to be instantly drowned,—we managed to save just one,—and pussy[Pg 14] sentenced to be executed as soon as the gardener came in the morning. This sentence was afterwards commuted to transportation for life from my aunt’s house; and it was remarkable, that although Jenny took her Sabbath morning walks as usual with my father, she never entered my aunt’s dwelling, but waited patiently until my father came out.” Jenny’s master died.

“Summary and fitting was the punishment that came down on the unfortunate Jenny. The kittens were ordered to be drowned immediately—we managed to save just one—and the cat[Pg 14] was sentenced to be executed as soon as the gardener arrived in the morning. This sentence was later changed to exile for life from my aunt’s house; and it was notable that although Jenny took her usual Sunday morning walks with my father, she never entered my aunt’s home, but waited patiently until my father came out.” Jenny’s master died.

“Jenny seemed to miss my father greatly. She used to go to the garden on a Sunday, as usual, but walked up and down disconsolate and sad; and on her return would take up her old position outside my aunt’s door, and wait and wait, always thinking he would surely come. This constant waiting and watching for him that would come again no more, was the first thing that softened my aunt’s heart to poor Jenny; and she was freely forgiven for the destruction of the velvet bonnet, and took up her abode for life with my aunt, on whom she bestowed all the affection she had previously lavished on my father.”

“Jenny really seemed to miss my dad. She would go to the garden on Sundays like usual but walked around looking sad and lost. When she came back, she would sit outside my aunt’s door, waiting and hoping that he would return. This endless waiting and watching for him, knowing he would never come back, is what finally softened my aunt’s heart toward poor Jenny. She was completely forgiven for ruining the velvet bonnet and moved in with my aunt for good, showering her with all the love she had once given to my dad.”

Kittens, like the young of most animals—mankind included—are sometimes rather[Pg 15] selfish towards their parents. A large kitten that I knew, used to be regularly fed with mice which its mother caught and brought to it from a stack-yard. Instead of appearing grateful, he used to seize the mouse and, running growling to a corner, devour the whole of it. His mother must have thought this rather unfair, for after standing it three or four times, she brought in the mouse, and slapped him if he dared to touch it until she had eaten her share—the hind quarters; then he had to be content with the rest.

Kittens, like the young of most animals—including humans—can sometimes be pretty selfish towards their parents. A big kitten I knew was regularly fed with mice that its mother caught and brought from a stack yard. Instead of showing any appreciation, he would grab the mouse and run off to a corner, growling, and eat the whole thing. His mother must have thought this was quite unfair because after a few times of standing by, she started bringing the mouse in and would slap him if he tried to touch it until she had her share—the hindquarters; then he had to settle for the rest.

I knew of a cat that, in order to avoid the punishment which she thought she merited on committing an offence, adopted the curious expedient of having two homes. Her failing was fish. If there had been no fish in the world, she would have been a strictly honest cat. She warred against the temptation, but it was of no use; the spirit was willing but the flesh weak, and the smell of fish not to be resisted. As long as she could steal without being found out, it was all right, things went on smoothly; but whenever she was caught tripping, she bade[Pg 16] good-bye for a time to that home, and took up her quarters at the other, distant about half a mile. Here she would reside for a month or more, as the case might be, until the theft of another haddock or whiting caused her to return to the other house. And so on; this cat kept up the habit of fluctuating backwards and forwards, between her two homes, as long as she lived. She was never thrashed, and, I think, did not deserve to be.

I knew a cat who, to avoid the punishment she thought she deserved for her misbehavior, came up with the strange idea of having two homes. Her weakness was fish. If there hadn't been any fish in the world, she would have been a completely honest cat. She fought against the temptation, but it was no use; the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak, and she couldn't resist the smell of fish. As long as she could steal without getting caught, everything was fine; but whenever she was caught, she would say[Pg 16] goodbye to one home for a while and move to the other, which was about half a mile away. Here she would stay for a month or so, until the craving for another haddock or whiting made her return to the other house. And so it went; this cat kept up the habit of moving back and forth between her two homes for as long as she lived. She was never punished, and I don't think she deserved to be.

It is a common thing for a she-cat, if her kittens are all drowned, to take to suckling a former kitten—even a grown-up son has sometimes to resume the office and duties of baby to a bereaved mother, and is in general no ways loath to do so. There is a horrid cat in a village in Yorkshire, who, every time his mother has kittens, steals them, taking them one by one to the cellar, and eating them. When there are no more to eat, filial piety constrains him to suckle his dam, until she deems it fit that he should be weaned. He has been weaned already four times, to my knowledge.

It’s pretty common for a female cat, if her kittens have all drowned, to suckle a former kitten—even an adult son sometimes has to take on the role of baby for a grieving mother, and generally, he doesn’t mind doing it at all. There’s a nasty cat in a village in Yorkshire who, every time his mother has kittens, steals them one by one and takes them to the cellar to eat. When there are no more left to eat, he feels obligated to suckle his mom until she decides it’s time for him to be weaned. He has already been weaned four times, as far as I know.

[Pg 17]If a kitten has been given away, and for some reason or other returns again to its mother’s home, the first thing that mother does is to give him a sound hiding, afterwards she receives him into favour, and gives him her tail to play with by way of solatium. Mothers will sometimes correct their very young kittens; for instance, if it squeals when she wants to get away for a short time, two or three smart pats with a mittened paw generally make it go fast asleep.

[Pg 17]If a cat has been given away and for some reason comes back to its mother’s home, the first thing she does is give it a good smack, but then she welcomes it back and lets it play with her tail as a way of making up. Mothers sometimes discipline their very young kittens; for example, if one cries when she wants to leave for a bit, a couple of quick swats with her paw usually make it fall right asleep.

The cat’s love of fun is perhaps one of the most endearing traits in her character. Who has not laughed to see the antics performed by some pet cat, whom its mistress wished to bring into the house for the night. Pussy has been walking with her mistress in the garden; but the night is fair and moonlit, and she hasn’t the slightest intention of coming in, for at least half-an-hour yet. So round the walks she flies, romping and rollicking, with tail in the air, and eyes crimson and green with the mischief that is in them; always popping out when least expected, and sometimes brushing the lady’s[Pg 18] very skirts. Now she walks demurely up to her mistress, as if soliciting capture, and just as she is being picked up,—“Ah! you thought you had me, did you?” and off she scampers to the other end of the garden. Anon, she is up a tree, and grinning like an elf from the topmost branches; and no amount of pet names, blarney, or coaxing will entice her down or into the house until, as they say in the north, her ain de’il bids her. Pussy’s fondness for frolic has led to strange results sometimes, as the following will testify:—

The cat’s love of fun is probably one of the most lovable traits about her. Who hasn’t laughed at the antics of a pet cat, which its owner wanted to bring inside for the night? The kitty has been walking with her owner in the garden; but the night is nice and bright under the moon, and she has no intention of coming in for at least another half-hour. So she zooms around the paths, playing and romping, with her tail in the air and her eyes glowing with mischief; always popping out when least expected, and sometimes brushing against the lady’s[Pg 18] skirts. Now she approaches her owner in a coy manner, as if inviting capture, and just when she’s about to be picked up, she darts away saying, “Oh! You thought you had me, didn’t you?” and off she scampers to the other end of the garden. Soon, she’s up a tree, grinning like a little elf from the highest branches; and no amount of sweet talk, flattery, or coaxing will lure her down or into the house until, as they say in the north, her own devil tells her to. The kitty’s love for play has sometimes led to strange outcomes, as the following will show:—

In an old-fashioned house, in an old-fashioned parish, in the county of Aberdeenshire, there lived, not many years ago, a farmer of the name of D——. His family consisted of his wife, two marriageable daughters, and a beautiful tabby cat. This cat was well fed and cared for, and being so, was an excellent mouser. Indeed, it was averred by the farmer that no rat would live within a mile of her. The house stood by itself some distance off the road, but, though surrounded by lofty pine-trees, it had by[Pg 19] no means the appearance of a place, which a ghost of average intellect and any claim to respectability would select, as the scene of its midnight peregrinations. Besides, there was no story attached to the house. No one had ever been murdered there, so far as was known. No old miser had ever resided within its walls; and though several members of the family had died in the old box-bed, they had all passed away in the most legitimate manner. Old granny was the only one at all likely to come back; but what could she have forgotten? The old lady was sensible to the last, and behaved like a brick. She told them candidly she was “wearin’ awa’;” sat up in bed and in a sadly quavering voice sang the Old Hundred; then handed over the key of the tea-caddy, where she kept her “trifle siller,” with the remark that they would find among the rest two old pennies, which she had kept especially to be placed in her eyes when her “candle went out.”

In an old house, in a quaint parish, in Aberdeenshire, there lived, not too long ago, a farmer named D——. His family included his wife, two marriageable daughters, and a beautiful tabby cat. This cat was well-fed and taken care of, making her an excellent mouser. In fact, the farmer claimed that no rat would dare to live within a mile of her. The house was set back a bit from the road, and although it was surrounded by tall pine trees, it didn’t look like a place where an average ghost with any sense of respectability would choose to wander at night. Plus, there was no story connected to the house. As far as anyone knew, no one had ever been murdered there. No old miser had ever lived inside; and although several family members had passed away in the old box-bed, they all did so in a perfectly normal way. Old granny was the only one who might come back; but what could she have possibly forgotten? The old lady was perfectly clear-minded until the end and held her own. She told them honestly that she was “wearin’ awa’;” sat up in bed and, with a sadly shaky voice, sang the Old Hundred; then she handed over the key to the tea-caddy, where she kept her “trifle siller,” saying they would find among it two old pennies that she had saved specifically to place in her eyes when her “candle went out.”

In spite of this, however, the honest farmer and his family were all awakened one night[Pg 20] by hearing the parlour bell rung, and rung too with great force. They couldn’t all have been dreaming. Besides, while they were yet doubting and deliberating, lo! the bell rung a second time. John and his wife shook in their shoes. That is merely a figure of speech; for, properly speaking, they hadn’t even their stockings on. The marriageable daughters would have fainted, but they had only read of fainting in books, and had no idea how it was done. It must be allowed matters were alarming enough. Who or what dreadful thing was thus urgently demanding an interview at that untimely hour of night, in that lone house among the pine-trees. The bell rang a third time; and, urged by the entreaties of his wife to be brave for once and go—she did not say come—and see, John at last reached down his old brown Bess—it had been loaded for five years—and with a candle in his other hand, his wife holding on by the skirts of his night-dress, and the marriageable daughters bringing up the rear, prepared to march upon the parlour.

Despite this, the honest farmer and his family were all awakened one night[Pg 20] by the sound of the parlor bell ringing, and it was ringing quite forcefully. They couldn’t have all been dreaming. Besides, while they were still doubting and discussing, the bell rang a second time. John and his wife were shaking in their shoes. That’s just a figure of speech; actually, they didn’t even have their stockings on. The daughters, who were of marriageable age, would have fainted, but they had only read about fainting in books and had no idea how it actually happened. It's fair to say things were pretty alarming. Who or what scary thing was so urgently demanding a meeting at that late hour of the night in their isolated house among the pine trees? The bell rang a third time; and, pushed by his wife's pleas to be brave for once and go—she didn’t say come—and see, John finally reached for his old brown Bess—it had been loaded for five years—and with a candle in one hand, his wife holding onto the hem of his nightgown, and the marriageable daughters following behind, he got ready to head to the parlor.

[Pg 21]In Indian file, and all in white, they might have been mistaken for a party of priests going to celebrate midnight mass. No ghost could have withstood the sight of that procession. It must have burst out laughing, unless, indeed, a very grave ghost. When at last they reached the parlour, neither sight nor sound rewarded them for their heroism. Everything was in its usual place, and nothing was disturbed. A search all over the house proved too that the doors were all locked, the windows fastened, and no one either up the chimney or under the beds. So the mystery was put down to super-human agency, or, as the good wife termed it, “something no canny;” and they all went trembling back to bed, and lay awake in great fear till the cock crew.

[Pg 21]In single file, all dressed in white, they could have been mistaken for a group of priests heading to celebrate midnight mass. No ghost could have handled the sight of that procession. It must have burst out laughing, unless it was a very serious ghost. When they finally reached the parlor, there was neither sight nor sound to reward their bravery. Everything was in its usual spot, and nothing was out of place. A thorough search of the house showed that all the doors were locked, the windows secured, and no one was hiding up the chimney or under the beds. So the mystery was attributed to supernatural forces, or, as the good wife called it, “something creepy;” and they all trembled back to bed, lying awake in great fear until the rooster crowed.

For nearly a fortnight after this, almost every night, and sometimes even by day, the same strange disturbances occurred, and all efforts to solve the mystery were fruitless. So it got rumoured abroad that the house was haunted. All the usual remedies were had recourse to for the purpose of[Pg 22] exorcism, but in vain. The parson came twice to pray in the room. He might as well have stopped at home. Equally unsuccessful were the services of an old lady, whom her enemies called a witch, her friends “the wisest woman in the parish.” Things began to look serious. The goodwife was getting thin, her daughters hysterical, and John himself began to lose caste among the neighbours. It was openly hinted, that some deed of blood must have been committed by him, in that same house and room. Nor could his thirty years of married life and unblemished reputation save him. He had been too quiet, people said, and too regular in his attendance at church; besides, he had a down look about him, and, on the whole, hanging was too good for him. Some averred that strange sights and sounds were seen and heard by people who had occasion to pass that house at night, among other things a light gliding about in the copse-wood. No, they would not believe it was only John locking up the stable; and the devil himself, in the shape of a fox, was seen at early[Pg 23] morning coming directly from the house. Of course the devil had a fine fat hen over his shoulders, but that had nothing to do with the matter. Poor John! it had come to this, that he had serious thoughts of giving up his farm and going to America, when a rollicking young student in the neighbourhood, who did not believe in spirits—except ardent—proposed to the farmer that they should “wake the ghost.”

For almost two weeks after this, almost every night, and sometimes even during the day, the same strange disturbances happened, and all attempts to figure it out were pointless. So it started to spread that the house was haunted. All the usual methods for exorcism were tried, but nothing worked. The pastor came twice to pray in the room, but he might as well have stayed home. An old lady, whom her enemies called a witch and her friends called “the wisest woman in the parish,” also tried her services, but was equally unsuccessful. Things began to get serious. The goodwife was losing weight, her daughters were hysterical, and John himself started to lose respect among the neighbors. People openly speculated that he must have committed some bloody deed in that same house and room. Neither his thirty years of marriage nor his untarnished reputation could save him. People said he had been too quiet and too regular in attending church; besides, he had a downcast look, and overall, people thought hanging was too good for him. Some claimed that strange sights and sounds were seen and heard by people who passed that house at night, including a light moving in the nearby woods. They refused to believe it was just John locking up the stable; even the devil himself, in the form of a fox, was seen one early [Pg 23] morning coming directly from the house. Of course, the devil had a nice fat hen slung over his shoulders, but that didn’t matter. Poor John! It had gotten to the point where he seriously considered giving up his farm and moving to America when a lively young student in the neighborhood, who didn’t believe in spirits—except fiery ones—suggested to the farmer that they should “wake the ghost.”

“Wake the ghost!” said the farmer, “ye little ken, lad. He’s wide enough awake already.”

“Wake the ghost!” said the farmer, “you don’t know, kid. He’s already wide awake.”

“Wake him,” repeated the student; “sit up at night, you know, and wait till he comes.”

“Wake him,” the student repeated; “stay up at night, you know, and wait until he comes.”

John turned pale.

John went pale.

“I’ll sit with you,” continued the young man. “If he’s a civil ghost, we can hear what he has got to say; for

“I’ll sit with you,” the young man continued. “If he’s a friendly ghost, we can hear what he has to say; for

‘The darkest nicht I fear nae deil,
Warlock, nor witch in Gowrie.’”

‘The darkest night I fear no devil,
"Warlock or witch in Gowrie."

Very reluctantly John consented; but he did consent; and that night the two met in the haunted chamber alone, just before[Pg 24] the old clock on the stair told the hour of midnight.

Very reluctantly, John agreed; but he did agree; and that night, the two met in the haunted room alone, just before[Pg 24] the old clock on the stairs struck midnight.

“What have you got under your arm?” inquired the student.

“What do you have under your arm?” the student asked.

“The ha’ Bible,” replied John, in a sepulchral voice; “is that a Bible you’ve brought?”

“The ha’ Bible,” John replied in a gloomy voice, “is that a Bible you’ve brought?”

“No, it’s whisky,” said the student, “about the only spirit you are likely to see to-night; and there won’t be the ghost of that left by cock-crow.”

“No, it’s whiskey,” said the student, “about the only drink you’ll probably see tonight; and there won’t be a trace of it left by dawn.”

So they waited and watched, John reading, the student smoking steadily and drinking periodically. One o’clock came, and two o’clock, and the candle was burning low in the socket, when suddenly, “Hist!” said the student, and “Hush!” said John. They could distinctly hear footsteps about them in the room, but no one visible. They were really frightened now. Then something rushed past them, and the bell rang, and there, lo, and behold! from the rope dangled John’s decent tabby cat.

So they waited and watched, John reading, the student smoking steadily and drinking now and then. One o’clock came, then two o’clock, and the candle was burning low in the holder when suddenly, “Shh!” said the student, and “Quiet!” said John. They could clearly hear footsteps around them in the room, but no one was in sight. They were genuinely scared now. Then something rushed past them, the bell rang, and there, look and behold! from the rope hung John's respectable tabby cat.

“And the Lord’s name be praised,” said John piously, closing the book.

“And praise the Lord,” said John worshipfully, closing the book.

[Pg 25]“Such ghosts as these,” said the student, “are best exorcised with a broom-handle; but, see! this explains.” He held up the rope, to the end of which—country fashion—was attached a hare’s foot!

[Pg 25]“These kinds of ghosts,” said the student, “are best dealt with using a broomstick; but look! This clarifies things.” He raised the rope, to the end of which—rustic style—was tied a hare’s foot!

 

 


CHAPTER III.

[See Note C, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

PUSSY’S LOVE OF CHILDREN.

Pussy’s love for kids.

The cat is more than any other creature the pet of our early years. Almost the first animal we notice, when we are old enough to notice anything, is pussy, with her beautiful markings, her well-pleased, homely face, sleek and shining fur, and soft paws, which she never ungloves in the presence of childhood. Children and cats, especially young ones, have so very much in common. Both are innocent, sinless, and easily pleased, and both are full of fun and frolic. Children will often play with a kitten until they kill the poor thing. In the country, pussy’s place may easily be supplied by some other toy; but to a poor little gutter-child the loss is simply irreparable, and she will nurse her dead kitten in the mud for a week. The way children use poor patient pussy is at times anything but commendable; and while[Pg 27] deprecating the conduct of parents in allowing them to treat the cat so, we cannot but admire pussy’s extreme forbearance and uncomplaining good nature, under what must be considered very trying circumstances. It is nothing to see Miss Puss or Master Tom dressed up in a shawl and neatly fitting cap, and lugged about as a doll, carried by the tail over the child’s shoulder, or worn as a comforter round his neck. Yet pussy seems to know that there is no harm meant, and that the children really love her dearly; so she never attempts to scratch, far less to bite. All experience goes to prove, too, that it is generally the child that uses her the worst, to whom pussy is most attached.

The cat is, more than any other creature, the pet of our early years. Almost the first animal we notice when we’re old enough to notice anything is the cat, with her beautiful markings, her content, homely face, sleek and shiny fur, and soft paws that she keeps tucked away when around kids. Children and cats, especially young ones, have so much in common. Both are innocent, carefree, and easily amused, and both are full of fun and playfulness. Kids will often play with a kitten until it accidentally gets hurt. In the countryside, any toy can easily take the cat's place; but for a poor little child in the gutter, losing a kitten is devastating, and they’ll mourn their dead kitten in the mud for a week. The way kids treat poor, patient cats isn’t always praiseworthy; and while[Pg 27] we criticize parents for letting them behave that way, we can’t help but admire the cat’s incredible patience and good nature under such difficult circumstances. It’s not uncommon to see Miss Puss or Master Tom dressed up in a shawl and snug cap, being carried around like a doll, or held by the tail over the child’s shoulder, or used as a comforter wrapped around their neck. Yet, the cat seems to know there’s no malice intended, and that the kids genuinely love her; so she never tries to scratch or bite. All experience shows that it’s usually the child who treats her the worst who ends up forming the strongest bond with her.

The ‘dead playmate’ is a picture you will often see in real life. I saw one not a month ago. A pretty little child, with round, wondering eyes, swollen with recent tears, sitting in the corner of a field in the summer sunshine. On her lap lay—among a handful of daisies and corn-poppies—a wee dead kitten: life had but lately left it. When I spoke to her, her grief burst out afresh.

The ‘dead playmate’ is something you’ll often encounter in real life. I saw one less than a month ago. A pretty little child, with round, curious eyes, swollen from recent tears, was sitting in the corner of a field in the summer sunshine. On her lap rested—among a handful of daisies and corn-poppies—a tiny dead kitten: life had just recently left it. When I spoke to her, her grief resurfaced.

[Pg 28]“O sir, my pussy’s deadëd, my pretty pussy’s deadëd!”

[Pg 28]“Oh sir, my cat is dead, my pretty cat is dead!”

There would be no more games of romps in the garden, no more scampering together through the green fields after the butterfly, no more making pussy a doll. She would go lonely to bed to-night and cry herself asleep, for pretty pussy was “deadëd.”

There would be no more playful times in the garden, no more running together through the green fields after the butterfly, no more turning the cat into a doll. She would go to bed alone tonight and cry herself to sleep, because pretty kitty was “dead.”

In the adjacent street to where I now live, is a fine large red-tabby Tom. He is a famous mouser, a noted hunter, and a gentleman every inch. He was faithful in love and dauntless in war. When I tried to stroke him, he gave me a look and a growl of such unmistakable meaning, that I mechanically put my hands in my pockets and whistled. He makes no friends with strangers. Yet Tom has a little mistress, not much over three years old, whom he dearly loves, and from whom he is seldom absent. He lies down on his side, and allows little Alice to lift him, although she can hardly totter along with her burden, which she carries as often by the tail as any way else. She sleeps beside him on the hearth-rug, Tom[Pg 29] winding his arms lovingly around her neck, and little Alice declares that pussy “carries his kisses on his nose.”

In the street next to where I live now, there's a large, handsome red-tabby cat. He's a well-known mouser, a skilled hunter, and a true gentleman. He was loyal in love and fearless in battle. When I tried to pet him, he gave me a look and a growl that made it clear I should back off, so I instinctively put my hands in my pockets and whistled. He doesn't make friends with strangers. Yet Tom has a little mistress, just over three years old, whom he loves dearly and rarely leaves. He lies down on his side and lets little Alice pick him up, even though she can hardly walk with him, often grabbing him by the tail. She sleeps beside him on the hearth rug, with Tom wrapping his arms lovingly around her neck, and little Alice says that kitty “carries his kisses on his nose.”

Wee Elsie S——, though only six years old, has completely tamed—as far as she herself is concerned—what might almost be called a wild cat, it having been bred and brought up in the woods. This cat has only two good qualities, namely, his great skill in vermin-killing, and his fondness for little Elsie. Neither the child’s father, mother, nor the servants, dare put a finger on this wild brindled Tom; but as soon as Elsie comes down in the morning, and puss is let in, with a fond cry he rushes towards her, singing and caressing her with evident satisfaction. He then does duty as a doll all day, or follows the child wherever she goes, and sleeps with her when she sleeps.

Wee Elsie S——, though only six years old, has completely tamed—at least in her eyes—what you could almost call a wild cat, having been raised in the woods. This cat has only two redeeming qualities: his amazing talent for catching pests and his affection for little Elsie. Neither her father, mother, nor the staff dare to touch this wild brindled Tom; but as soon as Elsie comes down in the morning and lets him in, he rushes toward her with a happy cry, purring and showing clear joy. He then acts like a doll all day or follows her wherever she goes, and sleeps with her when she sleeps.

“In our nursery,” writes a lady correspondent, “there was always a cat, which was the favourite companion of the children, submitting to many indignities which a dog would scarcely have endured with so much patience. One handsome tabby cat, named[Pg 30] by us children Roland the Brave, used to hold his place in front of the nursery fire, with the utmost patience and good-humour, in spite of kettles boiling over on him, nursery-maids treading on his paws and tail, and children teasing him in every possible way.”

“In our nursery,” a lady writer shares, “there was always a cat, which was the favorite companion of the kids, enduring many humiliations that a dog would hardly have tolerated with such patience. One handsome tabby cat, named[Pg 30] by us kids Roland the Brave, would hold his spot in front of the nursery fireplace, with the utmost patience and good humor, despite kettles boiling over on him, nursery maids stepping on his paws and tail, and kids teasing him in every possible way.”

“The tom-cat which I have at present,” says another, “keeps my children company in their walks, and is indeed more careful of them than the maid, who sometimes has forgotten her duty so far as to leave the perambulator to look after itself, while she is talking and laughing with a tall man in red. But Tom is not so thoughtless, and sticks close by the children, showing signs of anger when any one approaches. He seems, moreover, imbued with the idea, that the every-day food of that domestic quadruped, the dog, is babies, and, if any one is foolish enough to come snuffing round the perambulator, Tom mounts him at once, and proceeds forthwith to sharpen his claws in his hide. On one occasion when my family were absent for a few days, Tom was so[Pg 31] disconsolate that he refused to take his food. To show his love for the children, I made the remark to Tom, in presence of some friends, that baby was in the cradle; the cat jumped up and went directly towards it, and examined it, then returned mewing most mournfully because of the disappointment.”

“The tomcat I have now,” says another, “keeps my kids company on their walks and is actually more careful with them than the maid, who sometimes forgets her job so much that she leaves the stroller unattended while chatting and laughing with a tall man in red. But Tom isn’t so careless; he sticks close to the kids, showing signs of annoyance when anyone comes near. He also seems to have the idea that the usual food for that domestic animal, the dog, is babies, and if anyone is silly enough to come sniffing around the stroller, Tom immediately jumps on him and starts sharpening his claws on him. Once, when my family was away for a few days, Tom was so disheartened that he refused to eat. To show his affection for the kids, I mentioned to Tom, in front of some friends, that the baby was in the crib; the cat jumped up and went straight to it, checked it out, and then came back meowing sadly because of his disappointment.”

Pussy’s love for babies is always very noticeable. In fact, with very little training, she may be taught, if not to nurse, at least to mind, the baby. I know a cat which, as soon as the child is placed in its little cot, lays itself gently down at its back; and this is not for sake of warmth and comfort, as some may allege, but from pure love of baby. For pussy lies perfectly still as long as the child sleeps; but whenever she awakes, even before she cries, the cat jumps down and runs to tell her mistress, runs back to the cradle, and, with her forefeet on the edge, looks alternately at baby and its mother, mewing entreatingly until the child is lifted. Contented now, it throws itself at the mother’s feet, and goes quietly off to sleep.[Pg 32] Another cat I know of, that goes regularly to the harvest-field, with its mistress and a young child. The cat remains with the child all day, guarding him and amusing him by playing at hide-and-seek with him, until evening, when the mother, who has only visited her child two or three times during the day, returns, generally to find baby and puss asleep in each other’s arms.

Pussy's love for babies is always very clear. With just a bit of training, she can be taught, if not to nurse, at least to take care of the baby. I know a cat that, as soon as the child is placed in its little crib, gently lays down beside it; and this isn’t just for warmth and comfort, as some might say, but out of pure love for the baby. The cat stays completely still as long as the child sleeps; but whenever the child wakes up, even before crying, the cat jumps down and runs to tell her owner, then runs back to the crib, and, with her front paws on the edge, looks back and forth between the baby and its mother, meowing insistently until the baby is lifted. Now satisfied, it settles at the mother’s feet and quietly goes off to sleep.[Pg 32] Another cat I know regularly goes to the harvest field with its owner and a young child. The cat stays with the child all day, watching over him and entertaining him by playing hide-and-seek until evening, when the mother, who has only checked on her child a couple of times during the day, returns, usually to find the baby and the cat asleep in each other's arms.

Cats too not only mourn the absence of their little master or mistress, but will try to follow them if they can.

Cats also mourn the absence of their young owner and will try to follow them if they can.

“A certain party of my acquaintance,” says a lady, “had a large cat called Tabby, who was a great favourite with all the family. Tabby seemed to reciprocate the attachment of the different members, but its fondness for the youngest daughter was something wonderful. It would follow her about wherever she went, and if she ever left home for a short time, poor pussy seemed quite wretched until her return. At one time the child went to reside for two months, with some friends many miles distant. You may fancy her surprise and delight when one[Pg 33] morning, after she had been about a week in her new residence, in marches her dear friend and companion Mistress Tabby, and nothing could induce her to leave again. Pussy took up her abode with the girl, stuck by her all the time, and at the end of the visit faithfully accompanied her back to their home.”

“A friend of mine,” says a lady, “had a big cat named Tabby, who was a favorite with the whole family. Tabby seemed to return the affection of the different family members, but its love for the youngest daughter was truly remarkable. It would follow her around wherever she went, and whenever she left home for even a short time, poor kitty appeared completely miserable until she came back. Once, the girl went to stay with some friends many miles away for two months. You can imagine her surprise and joy when one[Pg 33] morning, after she had been there about a week, in walks her dear friend and companion, Mistress Tabby, and nothing could make her leave again. Kitty settled in with the girl, stuck by her the whole time, and at the end of the visit loyally accompanied her back home.”

A woman, whom I know, has a tom-cat, which watches constantly by the baby’s cradle, when its mistress is absent. One day, when hanging up some clothes in the garden, she became suddenly aware of an awful row going on in the room she had just left. She entered, just in time to see Tom riding a large shepherd’s collie round the room, and back again, and finally out at the door. Tom was a most cruel jockey, sparing neither bit(e) nor spur, as the howls of the unhappy collie fully testified. That dog hasn’t been seen in the immediate vicinity since.

A woman I know has a tomcat that constantly watches over the baby’s crib when she isn’t around. One day, while she was hanging up some clothes in the garden, she suddenly heard a terrible commotion coming from the room she had just left. She went in just in time to see Tom riding a large collie around the room and then out the door. Tom was a very cruel rider, using every bit and spur available, as the howls of the unhappy collie clearly indicated. That dog hasn’t been seen nearby since.

The cat, mentioned in the following anecdote, was surely worthy of the Humane Society’s bronze medallion, as much as any Newfoundland ever was.

The cat in the story that follows definitely deserves the Humane Society’s bronze medallion, just like any Newfoundland ever did.

[Pg 34]A certain lady’s little son was ill of scarlet fever. The period of inflammation and danger was just over, but the poor child was unable to sit or stand. Through all his illness, he had been carefully watched by a faithful tom-cat, who seldom ever left his bedside by night or by day; for Tom dearly loved the little fellow, who, though now so still and quiet, used to lark and roll with him on the parlour floor. But since his little master’s illness, Tom had never been known to make the slightest attempt at fun. One day, the child was taken by its mother from bed, and laid on the cool sofa by way of change; and when he had fallen asleep she gently left the room, Tom being on guard as usual. She had not been gone many minutes, and was engaged in some household duties, when Tom entered, squirrel-tailed and mewing most piteously, looking up into her face, and then running to the door, plainly entreating his mistress to hurry along with him. It was well she did so. Poor Tom ran before her to the room in which she had left her boy, when[Pg 35] she found that, in attempting to get up, the child had fallen on the floor along with the rugs in such a position, that death from suffocation would have inevitably followed, but for the timely aid summoned by this noble tom-cat.

[Pg 34]A certain lady’s little son was sick with scarlet fever. The critical period of inflammation and danger had just passed, but the poor child was unable to sit or stand. Throughout his illness, he was carefully watched by a loyal tom-cat, who rarely left his side day or night; for Tom truly loved the little boy, who, although now so still and quiet, used to play and roll around with him on the living room floor. But ever since his little master's illness, Tom had not shown any interest in having fun. One day, the mother took her child from bed and placed him on the cool sofa for a change; and when he fell asleep, she quietly left the room, with Tom keeping watch as usual. She hadn't been gone long, busy with some household tasks, when Tom came in, his tail flicking and meowing pitifully, looking up at her and then running to the door, clearly pleading with his owner to follow him quickly. It was a good thing she did. Poor Tom ran ahead to the room where she had left her boy, where[Pg 35] she discovered that, in trying to get up, the child had fallen on the floor along with the rugs in such a way that he would have suffocated if not for the timely help brought by the brave tom-cat.

I think I have said enough to prove how fond pussy is of children, and how forbearing towards them; and surely this trait in her character should endear her to us all. But I do thoroughly deprecate pussy’s being made a plaything of, whether she be cat or kitten. It is exceedingly cruel of parents to allow it, and is taking an unfair advantage of the cat’s good-nature and sense. The way she is lugged about, and tormented by some children, is very prejudicial to her health and appearance. It often does her grievous bodily harm, injures her heart and lungs, and stops her growth, even if it does not induce paralysis and consequent death. Let your children love pussy, pussy loves your children; only kindly point out to them the essential difference between a plaything and a playmate.

I think I've made it clear how much cats love kids and how patient they are with them, and this quality should make us all appreciate them more. However, I really disapprove of cats being treated like toys, whether they're adult cats or kittens. It’s extremely cruel for parents to allow this; it takes advantage of the cat's friendly nature and good sense. The way some kids drag them around and torment them is really harmful to their health and appearance. It can cause serious physical harm, hurt their heart and lungs, and stunt their growth, even leading to paralysis or death. Let your kids love cats; cats love your kids—just gently remind them of the important difference between a plaything and a playmate.

 

 


CHAPTER IV.

[See Note D, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

PUSSY “POLL.”

CAT "POLL."

The following sketch of cat-life is contributed by one who loves “all things both great and small.” We give it in extenso.

The following depiction of cat life is provided by someone who loves “all things both great and small.” We present it in extenso.

Even supposing it to be endowed with the nine lives ascribed to the race, was it at all probable that I would be successful in rearing to mature cathood that dripping little wretch?

Even if it really had the nine lives that they're supposed to have, was it even likely that I could succeed in raising that dripping little brat to adulthood?

Such was the question, which not without doubt, I asked myself while attempting to dry a kitten, some two weeks old, which I had just saved from death in a neighbouring horsepond. Arrived at home, I put in practice as many of the Royal Humane Society’s rules for the treatment of the apparently drowned, as I found applicable to the case in hand, and soon had the satisfaction of seeing my charge, comfortably sleeping in a bed prepared in an old cap, by the fireside. Not less successful were my efforts at[Pg 37] nursing, and in a few weeks, Poll, for so I named my pet, had grown to be the daintiest thing possible; the very impersonation of mischief and fun, without thought or care, from morn till night, except that of—

Such was the question that I found myself pondering as I tried to dry off a kitten, about two weeks old, that I had just rescued from a nearby horse pond. Once I got home, I followed as many of the Royal Humane Society’s guidelines for treating someone who seemed to have drowned as I could, and soon I was happy to see my little charge comfortably asleep in a bed made from an old cap by the fireside. My nursing efforts were equally successful, and in a few weeks, Poll, as I named my pet, had become the cutest little thing imaginable; a true embodiment of mischief and fun, carefree from morning till night, except for one thought—

“Turning to mirth all things of earth,
As only kittens can.”

“Making everything on earth joyful,
"Just like kittens do."

Time passed on, however, and with years, or rather months, came troubles, one of the first causes of which to puss was a mirror. To her it was a mystery which cost many hours of deep thought and serious study; but never could she understand why the cat which was always visible in front could neither be seen, felt, nor heard, behind the glass.

Time went on, and with the passing months came troubles. One of the first things that puzzled her was a mirror. It was a mystery that took her many hours of deep thought and serious study, but she could never figure out why the cat that was always visible in front could neither be seen, felt, nor heard behind the glass.

Numerous experiments were made to solve the puzzle; but the most common one was for Poll to seat herself in front of the mirror and critically examine her vis-à-vis. The thing seeming so real, she next would give the glass a pat with her paw, and run round to the back; but nothing being found there, one paw was then put in front and the other[Pg 38] kept behind. She would then peep round into the glass, and still seeing puss there, would renew her efforts to catch her. This was repeated almost daily for some time; but at last puss seemed to have resolved that the mystery should remain one no longer, so struck at her opponent with full force, and of course seemed to receive a blow in return. In an instant Poll sprang to her feet and assumed a position of defiance; but her foe, nothing loath for the fray, was equally ready. A moment’s pause, and puss hurled herself on her foe. There was a crash. A cat rushed wildly out of the door, and I proceeded to gather fragments of a mirror from off the floor.

Many experiments were conducted to solve the puzzle; but the most common one involved Poll sitting in front of the mirror and closely examining her reflection. It seemed so real that she would then give the glass a pat with her paw and quickly move around to the back; but finding nothing there, she would place one paw in front and keep the other behind. She would peek around into the glass, and upon still seeing the other cat there, she would continue her attempts to catch her. This was repeated almost daily for a while; but eventually, the other cat seemed to decide that the mystery should no longer remain, so she struck at her opponent with full force, naturally appearing to receive a blow in return. In an instant, Poll jumped to her feet and assumed a defiant stance; but her opponent, eager for the fight, was equally prepared. After a brief pause, the other cat launched herself at Poll. There was a crash. A cat bolted wildly out of the door, and I began to pick up pieces of a mirror from the floor.

At meal-times, puss regularly seated herself on my shoulder, and waited patiently for what she considered her due proportion; but if I seemed to neglect her, she gently reminded me of her presence by patting my cheek with her paw. If that was not sufficient, the paw was pressed on my cheek, the claws slowly protruded, and my face drawn round towards her. Success[Pg 39] invariably attended this manœuvre; and after receiving her share, she thanked me by rubbing her head against my cheek, and licking my face.

At mealtime, the cat would regularly sit on my shoulder and patiently wait for what she thought was her fair share; but if I seemed to ignore her, she would gently remind me of her presence by patting my cheek with her paw. If that didn't work, she'd press her paw against my cheek, slowly extend her claws, and pull my face toward her. This tactic always worked; after getting her share, she'd thank me by rubbing her head against my cheek and licking my face.

In due course a young family of kittens appeared; but of course they all, save one, met the fate from which I had saved their mother. With the family came family cares. Soon the kitten was old enough to begin to receive its education, and then mice at any time, varied occasionally with a rat or two were to be found lying about the floor. As the kitten got older, and was able to be left for longer periods alone, Poll extended her hunting excursions: one morning she brought home four or five young partridges, and the following day one of the parent birds. The next great hunt produced as many young rabbits, and although to such games I had no great objection to offer; yet, when frogs, toads, or lizards were the produce of a day’s sport, as was sometimes the case, I did protest.

Eventually, a young family of kittens showed up; but naturally, they all met the same fate I had saved their mother from, except for one. With the kittens came the responsibilities of family life. Soon, the one kitten was old enough to start its education, and mice could frequently be found scattered across the floor, occasionally mixed with a rat or two. As the kitten grew older and could be left alone for longer periods, Poll expanded her hunting trips: one morning she brought home four or five young partridges, and the next day, one of the parent birds. The next big hunt brought back as many young rabbits, and while I didn’t mind those kinds of games, I did object when frogs, toads, or lizards were part of the day's catch, as was sometimes the case.

On one occasion, while the kitten was playing out of doors, it was pursued by a[Pg 40] dog belonging to a neighbour, but escaped through a hole in a wall close by. Poll, who at some distance had seen the whole affair, at once darted to her kitten’s side, and did her best to quiet its fears, telling it, doubtless, that she would take an early opportunity of teaching that dog better manners. The opportunity was not long wanting. Next day the dog again passing, was noticed by puss, who ran and hid behind a corner, near which he would come, and there waited his approach. Just as he turned she sprung on his head, and with teeth and claws took hold so firm that he in vain endeavoured to shake her off. Going to his assistance, I with considerable difficulty disengaged puss, but not before his head was badly torn.

Once, while the kitten was playing outside, it was chased by a[Pg 40] dog from a neighbor, but it escaped through a hole in a nearby wall. Poll, who had seen the whole thing from a distance, quickly rushed to her kitten’s side and did her best to calm its fears, probably telling it that she would soon teach that dog some manners. The chance to do so came the next day. When the dog came by again, the kitten spotted him and quickly hid around a corner, waiting for him to get closer. Just as he turned, she jumped on his head, gripping on with her teeth and claws so firmly that he couldn’t shake her off. I went over to help, and after quite a struggle, I managed to get the kitten off, but not before the dog's head was badly scratched.

But although thus ready to do battle when occasion required, puss knew also how to evade a foe when so inclined.

But even though he was always ready to fight when needed, the cat also knew how to avoid an enemy when he wanted to.

Always treating the game-laws with that respect of which they are worthy, puss was of course never disturbed in her rambles by gamekeepers; and so ’twas quite an accident when, being in the middle of a field, she was[Pg 41] chased by a dog belonging to one. Possibly on that particular morning she may have remembered that “discretion is the better part of valour;” and so, when she saw the dog coming, she made for the cliffs, by which on one side the field was bounded. But the dog was swift, and ere half the distance was passed he was upon her. Just, however, as he was about to seize her, she sprang on one side and stopped, the dog rushing forward some half dozen yards. While he was stopping and turning, she darted past, and thus continued to elude him till the cliffs were reached.

Always treating the game laws with the respect they deserve, the cat was never bothered in her wanderings by gamekeepers. So it was quite an accident when, in the middle of a field, she was chased by a dog belonging to one. Perhaps that particular morning she recalled that “discretion is the better part of valor,” and when she saw the dog coming, she headed for the cliffs that bordered the field on one side. But the dog was fast, and before she had covered half the distance, he was right on her. Just as he was about to catch her, she jumped to the side and stopped, the dog racing ahead a few yards. While he was stopping and turning around, she dashed past him, continuing to evade him until she reached the cliffs.

While Poll and I were taking a walk one evening, a curious incident occurred. A rook flying overhead seemed struck with some peculiarity about puss; for suddenly checking himself in his flight, he circled once or twice round us both, and apparently satisfied with the survey, darted away to the opposite side of the field, where a large flock of rooks were feeding. He took not time to alight, but gave several peculiar caws, in a tone which seemed to me expressive of great excitement. What[Pg 42] his communication was, I know not; but it seemed perfectly intelligible to the other rooks, which instantly took wing, and, following him as their leader, bore down on puss, who by this time had mounted on the top of a fence, and was quietly taking a survey of the surrounding scenery. At first I expected to see them attempt to carry her off bodily; but if such was their intention, none of them had sufficient courage to begin the attack. Sometimes, indeed, one bolder than the rest would make a near approach; but, as on these occasions puss endeavoured to make a capture, they preferred keeping at a safe distance. For fully five minutes they thus continued to circle around, filling the air with a perfect Babel of sound, and then, as suddenly departed as they had come.

While Poll and I were out for a walk one evening, something strange happened. A rook flying above us seemed intrigued by our cat; it abruptly stopped its flight, circled around us a couple of times, and then, apparently satisfied, flew off to the other side of the field where a big group of rooks were feeding. It didn't waste time landing but let out several unusual caws, sounding quite excited. What its message was, I don’t know, but it seemed perfectly clear to the other rooks, which quickly took off and followed it as their leader, heading straight for our cat, who by then had climbed on top of a fence and was calmly surveying the scenery. At first, I thought they were going to try to carry her off, but if that was their plan, none had enough courage to make the first move. Occasionally, one would bravely get close, but when our cat tried to catch it, they kept their distance. For a full five minutes, they circled around, creating a chaotic noise, and then left as suddenly as they had appeared.

This was almost the last adventure of note which we two had together. Shortly after, having to remove to a distant part of the country, where I could not take my darling with me, it became necessary either to leave her with some acquaintance or destroy her. With increasing years, her temper, never[Pg 43] good towards strangers, did not improve, and being afraid that if I left her behind me she might be subjected to bad treatment, I determined to adopt the course which seemed the lesser of two evils. On the day of my departure, we paid a last visit to the ocean.

This was almost the last notable adventure we had together. Soon after, I had to move to a distant part of the country where I couldn’t take my beloved with me. I had to choose either to leave her with someone I knew or to get rid of her. As the years went by, her temperament, which was never great around strangers, didn’t get any better. I was worried that if I left her behind, she might be mistreated, so I decided to go with the option that seemed like the lesser of two evils. On the day I was leaving, we took one last trip to the ocean.

“A splash, a plunge, and all was o’er,—
The billows rolled on as they rolled before;”

“A splash, a dive, and it was all over,—
The waves kept crashing just like they always do;

and puss, my most pleasant companion and faithful friend, had met the fate from which I saved her so many years before. “Sic est vita.

and puss, my sweetest companion and loyal friend, had faced the same fate I saved her from so many years ago. “Sic est vita.

 

 


CHAPTER V.

[See Note E, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

SAGACITY OF CATS.

Wisdom of Cats.

Few people now-a-days think of denying, that man’s noble friend the dog possesses a large amount, of what can only be termed reason. I myself believe, that almost every animal does; but in these pages I shall only claim the gift for our mutual friend, the domestic cat. Reason, I consider, is quite different from mere instinct. Instinct is born in an animal; reason is that instinct matured by experience.

Few people nowadays deny that man's noble friend the dog has a significant amount of what can only be described as reason. I personally believe that almost every animal has this ability; however, in these pages, I will only attribute it to our mutual friend, the domestic cat. I see reason as being quite different from mere instinct. Instinct is innate in an animal; reason is instinct that has grown through experience.

I hardly think that you can find a more sagacious animal than the cat. I doubt, indeed, if the dog is; for pussy’s peculiar mode of existence, the many enemies she has to encounter, and the struggle she often has to obtain sustenance sufficient to keep life in her poor little body, bring all her faculties into better play, and tend to the development of her reasoning powers.

I really don’t think you can find a smarter animal than the cat. I even doubt the dog is one; because the unique way cats live, the many foes they face, and the constant fight they have to find enough food to keep their little bodies alive sharpen their skills and help develop their reasoning abilities.

[Pg 45]Before you can fully fathom, what a wonderfully clever and wise creature even the commonest cat is, you must study her life in every phase, both out of doors and at the fireside. No relation of mere sporadic acts of sagacity, such as unfastening a door to get out, breaking a window to get in, or pulling a bell-rope to call the servant, can do justice to pussy’s wisdom. Everything she does has a reason for it, and all her plans are properly schemed and thought out beforehand, for she never fails to look before she leaps. Why, my reader, with all due respect to your intellectual powers, if you were to be changed into a cat for four and twenty hours, and had a cat’s routine of pleasure and duty to perform, with all your wisdom you would be as dead as a dried haddock before sun-down. Let us try to imagine one day in a cat’s life.

[Pg 45]Before you can truly appreciate how clever and wise even the simplest cat is, you need to observe her life in all its aspects, both outside and by the fire. Just recounting random moments of smartness, like opening a door to go out, breaking a window to come in, or pulling a bell to summon the servant, doesn’t capture a cat’s intelligence. Everything she does has a purpose, and all her actions are carefully planned. She always thinks ahead before she jumps. Honestly, dear reader, with all respect to your intelligence, if you were transformed into a cat for a full day and had to follow a cat's routine of play and responsibilities, your cleverness wouldn’t save you from becoming as lifeless as a dried fish by sunset. Let’s try to picture a day in a cat’s life.

Pussy wakes in the morning as fresh as a daisy, for she has slept the sleep of the just and temperate. She finds she has been shut into the parlour; but, though it is broad day-light, the family won’t be stirring yet for[Pg 46] another hour. A long weary hour for puss, although she has the patience of Job.

Pussy wakes up in the morning feeling refreshed, having slept soundly. She realizes she’s been locked in the parlor, but even though it’s broad daylight, the family won’t be up for[Pg 46] another hour. It’s a long, boring hour for her, even though she has the patience of Job.

“Now,” she thinks, “if a mouse would only pop out from under the fender; sometimes one does.” But watching won’t bring it; so she jumps upon the window-sill, and gets behind the blind to gaze out at the bright morning, and watch the sparrows, and think of all she will do to-day. “At any rate,” she muses, “I shan’t be shut in here another night. So silly of me to go to sleep before the fire! And, happy thought, I’ll go and see—yes, I must go and see—him to-night; he’ll be at the old thorn tree, I know, dear, dear, Tom.”

“Now,” she thinks, “if only a mouse would come out from under the fender; sometimes they do.” But just watching won’t make it happen; so she jumps up onto the window sill and hides behind the shade to look out at the bright morning, watch the sparrows, and think about everything she’ll do today. “At least,” she reflects, “I won’t be stuck in here another night. It was so dumb of me to fall asleep in front of the fire! And, what a great idea, I’ll go and see—yes, I have to go and see—him tonight; he’ll be at the old thorn tree, I know, dear, dear, Tom.”

The hour has worn away, and at last Mary comes to “do out the room.” “N.B. Stand by to bolt through between her ugly legs. Done—successful.” Now upstairs to mew hungrily at her mistress’s door—that ensures a cuddle; and so pussy sings while her mistress dresses. Down to breakfast at last. Soles. Oh! she doats on soles. But why does her mistress get up and leave her alone for a minute with the cream and the[Pg 47] soles, and she so hungry too. What a chance to dip one paw in the cream-jug, or help herself to only just the tail of that inviting sole! But no, she won’t; and she doesn’t, though the temptation was very great. Then mistress returns, and pussy is rewarded for her honesty with a delicious breakfast, and duly purrs her grace after meat.

The hour has passed, and finally Mary comes to "clean the room." "N.B. Be ready to dash through between her clumsy legs. Done—success." Now it's time to meow hungrily at her owner's door—this guarantees a cuddle; and so the kitty purrs while her owner gets dressed. Down to breakfast at last. Sole. Oh! she loves sole. But why does her owner get up and leave her alone for a minute with the cream and the[Pg 47] sole, when she's so hungry too? What a chance to dip a paw in the cream jug or just take a nibble of that tempting sole! But no, she won’t; and she doesn’t, even though the temptation was very strong. Then her owner comes back, and the kitty is rewarded for her honesty with a delicious breakfast, and she purrs her thanks after eating.

Two hours afterward she is in her mistress’s boudoir alone. Oh! St. Anthony! Alone with the canary! Her eyes are drawn magnetically to the cage, her mouth opens of its own accord, her teeth water, and unconsciously she fires off a series of miniature mews, expressive of extreme desire. One little spring, and that beautiful bird would be hers. But again she won’t, she’ll only just look at it; and if a cat may look at a king, surely, she may at a canary. Reader, have you ever eaten a canary? A live canary, feathers and all? No! then I fear there is but little chance of your giving pussy half the credit due to her, for resisting that sore temptation and letting birdie live.

Two hours later, she is in her mistress’s boudoir all by herself. Oh! St. Anthony! All alone with the canary! Her eyes are drawn to the cage like a magnet, her mouth opens on its own, her mouth waters, and without realizing it, she lets out a series of tiny mews that show her intense desire. With just one little spring, that beautiful bird could be hers. But again she won’t; she’ll just look at it. If a cat can look at a king, surely she can look at a canary. Reader, have you ever eaten a canary? A live canary, feathers and all? No? Then I worry you might not fully appreciate the credit due to her for resisting such a strong temptation and letting the little bird live.

[Pg 48]But, rats and rabbits! what has pussy done now? While canary-gazing, she has been standing on the escritoire, and inadvertently spilled all her mistress’s purple ink; and, to make matters worse, that young lady enters, in time to witness the accident and see puss making a face at the canary.

[Pg 48]But, seriously! What has the cat done now? While staring at the canary, she has been standing on the desk and accidentally spilled all of her owner’s purple ink; and, to make things worse, that young lady walks in just in time to see the mess and catch the cat making a face at the canary.

“Oh! you wicked, wicked, ungrateful cat!” Pussy flies and hides beneath the sofa. Those cruel, unjust words, how they rankle in her breast! “She will never never speak to her mistress again, nor to any one in the world, not even to Tom. She will die beneath that sofa.” So in doleful dumps she spends two whole hours. How very irksome! If her mistress would only speak now, she might come out, perhaps; but she only knits, knits. Suddenly, down rolls the ball of worsted. Hurrah! out pops puss like an animated arrow, and darts round and round the room after it like a mad thing. Her mistress smiles, and pussy is up on her lap in an instant, singing for joy because she is restored to favour.

“Oh! you wicked, wicked, ungrateful cat!” The cat darts away and hides under the sofa. Those cruel, unfair words really sting her heart! “She will never, ever talk to her owner again, or anyone else in the world, not even to Tom. She will just stay here and die under that sofa.” So, feeling sorry for herself, she spends two whole hours in a funk. How annoying! If her owner would just say something now, she might come out, but all she does is knit, knit. Suddenly, the ball of yarn rolls down. Yay! Out jumps the cat like a sleek arrow and zooms around the room after it like a maniac. Her owner smiles, and the cat is on her lap in an instant, purring for joy because she's back in her good graces.

Somehow, pussy in the afternoon accidentally[Pg 49] finds herself in Farmer Hodge’s pigeon-loft. She has merely come to have a look at the pretty creatures, being fond of that sort of thing. Hark! though, a footstep on the ladder, and enter Farmer Hodge himself. Poor pussy’s intentions in the pigeon-loft have been vilely misconstrued by that rude man, and she herself kicked right out of the gable-door—a fall of twenty feet at least; however, she has the presence of mind to whirl round, and alights on her feet, and thus saves her neck. It is only a quarter of a mile to run home; so she is off, hotly pursued by the farmer and his horrid collie. There is one tree on the way, and she gains it just in time to save her back; and the ugly dog stops and barks up at her. A long way astern comes, puffing and blowing, the farmer himself, and when he arrives he will stone her. One minute to get her breath; then down, flop on the back of the collie, jumps pussy. Round and round the tree she rides him twice, then dismisses him howling. The dog runs back to his master, with a bloody nose and one eye seriously damaged, while pussy, scot free,[Pg 50] regains the shelter of her home, just in time for dinner. “Now, my little lady,” says pussy’s mistress, about bed-time, “I see you are watching to get out, and indeed you mustn’t; so come with me.” A little deceit is absolutely necessary now, if pussy wants to gain her ends. After all, it is only policy; so pussy purring complacently accompanies her mistress to her bed-room. But having duly sung the young lady asleep, she quietly steals from her side and creeps to the window. Luckily, it is open. Fifteen feet is a tallish jump though; but she remembers that when Farmer Hodge gave her a hint to leave the pigeon-loft, she leaped twenty feet. She feels that hint on her rump even now; but here goes. She has done it, and is safe. Then what a delicious sense of freedom and prospective bliss! And, hark! yonder is Tom’s melodious voice in the distance, and pussy is off in the moonlight to meet him, and she “won’t go home till morning.”

Somehow, in the afternoon, the cat accidentally finds herself in Farmer Hodge’s pigeon loft. She just wanted to take a look at the pretty birds because she enjoys that sort of thing. But wait! There's a footstep on the ladder, and in walks Farmer Hodge himself. Poor cat's intentions in the loft have been terribly misunderstood by that rude man, and she gets kicked right out of the gable door—a fall of at least twenty feet. However, she quickly turns around and lands on her feet, saving herself from injury. It’s only a quarter of a mile home, so she takes off, being chased by the farmer and his nasty collie. There’s one tree on the way, and she reaches it just in time to avoid being caught; the ugly dog stops and barks up at her. Coming up behind, puffing and panting, is the farmer, and when he arrives, he’ll throw stones at her. She takes a minute to catch her breath, then jumps down, landing on the colie's back. She circles the tree twice with the dog, then sends him running back to his owner, howling. The dog returns to the farmer with a bloody nose and one eye seriously injured, while the cat, free and clear, makes it back home just in time for dinner. “Now, my little lady,” says the cat's owner at bedtime, “I see you’re trying to sneak out, and you really shouldn’t; so come with me.” A little trickery is absolutely necessary now if the cat wants to get her way. After all, it’s just strategy; so the cat purrs contentedly and follows her owner to her bedroom. But after she has sung the young lady to sleep, she quietly slips away from her side and heads to the window. Fortunately, it’s open. Fifteen feet is a pretty big jump, but she remembers that when Farmer Hodge told her to leave the pigeon loft, she jumped twenty feet. She can still feel that reminder on her backside; but here she goes. She makes the leap and is now safe. What a wonderful feeling of freedom and upcoming joy! And, listen! There’s Tom’s sweet voice in the distance, and the cat is off into the moonlight to meet him, vowing that she “won’t go home until morning.”

Cats are very sensitive to kindness, and are never ungrateful for benefits received.

Cats are very attuned to kindness and are never ungrateful for the benefits they receive.

A certain labouring woman got a cat, to[Pg 51] which she became greatly attached. When the time came round, for her absence for six weeks at harvest, in a distant part of the country, she took her cat, and the one kitten it was giving suck to, and gave it in charge of a brother who lived three miles from her own village. But here poor pussy wasn’t happy. The children beat and otherwise annoyed her; so she returned to her own home in the village, leaving the kitten behind her. Finding the house shut up, she sought shelter in a kindly neighbour’s house; and having established herself in her new home, she set out for the house where she had left the kitten. She did not attempt to remove it, however, but simply gave it suck and left again. Twice a day regularly, for three weeks, did this queer pussy trot those six long miles to suckle her kitten, until one day she found it drinking milk from a saucer. After this she never went back. On her mistress’s return from harvest, pussy again became her faithful companion; clearly showing that although she was grateful to the neighbour, she knew she did not belong to her. But every year pussy[Pg 52] stayed all the harvest with her benefactress until the return of her mistress; and this habit she kept up all her life, fourteen years.

A hardworking woman got a cat, to[Pg 51] which she became very attached. When the time came for her to be away for six weeks during harvest, in a distant part of the country, she took her cat and the one kitten it was nursing and entrusted them to a brother who lived three miles from her village. But poor kitty wasn’t happy there. The kids teased and annoyed her, so she returned to her own home in the village, leaving the kitten behind. Finding her house locked up, she sought shelter in a kind neighbor’s home; and having settled in, she set out for the house where she had left the kitten. She didn’t try to take it away; she just nursed it and left again. Twice a day, without fail, for three weeks, this quirky kitty made the long six-mile trek to feed her kitten until one day she found it drinking milk from a saucer. After that, she never went back. When her owner returned from harvest, the cat was once again her loyal companion, clearly showing that while she appreciated the neighbor, she knew she didn’t belong to her. But every year, the cat[Pg 52] stayed with her benefactor during the harvest until her owner returned; and she kept this routine for her entire life, fourteen years.

How do cats know certain days of the week, such as Saturday or Monday?

How do cats know specific days of the week, like Saturday or Monday?

A shopkeeper, whom I knew, had a nice Tom tabby, which he kept night and day in his shop, to protect his wares from mice and rats. On Saturdays, Tom was allowed to accompany his master home, a distance of nearly a mile, and to remain at home until the following Monday. Pussy got used to this; and as the shop was always kept open until ten o’clock on Saturdays, Tom used regularly to leave the place and go home fully three hours before his master. On the Monday morning, he was always quite ready to accompany him back again. When this cat grew a few years older, he began to tire of night duties. He, no doubt, thought he had done enough when he had been on guard all day. So to get off the night shift, he used to leave the shop when his master made signs of putting up the shutters. He would wait at a convenient distance till his master[Pg 53] came; but finding that he was invariably captured and carried back, he fell upon another plan: he took to leaving the shop an hour before closing time. His master used to meet him half-ways home, but never could put a finger on him.

A shopkeeper I knew had a nice tabby cat named Tom, who he kept in his shop day and night to protect his goods from mice and rats. On Saturdays, Tom got to go home with his owner, which was almost a mile away, and stay there until the next Monday. Tom got used to this routine; since the shop stayed open until ten o’clock on Saturdays, he would often leave and head home a good three hours before his owner. Every Monday morning, he was always ready to go back with him. As Tom grew older, he started to get tired of the night shift. He probably thought he had done enough guarding all day. So to avoid the night duty, he started leaving the shop as soon as his owner began to close up by putting up the shutters. He would wait nearby until his owner came, but since he always got caught and carried back, he came up with a different plan: he started leaving the shop an hour before closing time. His master would meet him half-way home, but never managed to catch him.

This same cat had been rescued from an ugly death, when quite a kitten, by a son of his master. Tom was greatly attached to this boy. When the boy grew to be a man, and only visited the house once a year, Tom still knew him, and manifested great delight in seeing him.

This same cat had been saved from a terrible fate when he was just a kitten by the son of his owner. Tom was very fond of the boy. Even when the boy became a man and only visited the house once a year, Tom still recognized him and showed great joy in seeing him.

Cats, however, do not show the joy they feel on meeting again with a long lost friend in so exuberant a manner as the dog.

Cats, however, don’t express the joy they feel when reuniting with a long-lost friend as exuberantly as dogs do.

On first seeing you they exhibit surprise, then quietly show how glad they are by rubbing round you, singing, and following wherever you go, as if afraid of being again separated. A dog is a more excitable animal, and more demonstrative in every way than the thoughtful pussy.

Upon first seeing you, they show surprise, then quietly express their happiness by rubbing against you, singing, and following you wherever you go, as if they're afraid of being separated again. A dog is much more excitable and more expressive in every way than the thoughtful cat.

Every one knows how cats can open doors by jumping up and pressing down the latch;[Pg 54] this trick is more common in tortoise-shell cats than in any others, and often descends from generation to generation.

Everyone knows how cats can open doors by jumping up and pressing down the latch;[Pg 54] this trick is more common in tortoiseshell cats than in any others, and often gets passed down from one generation to the next.

A lady’s favourite cat the other day saved the life of her pet canary. The door of the bird’s cage having been by some accident left open, Dickie flew out, and at once made for the outside door, which happened to be open. The cat, however, immediately gave chase, and captured the bird in the lobby. Tom at once returned, and placed the poor bird—half dead with fright—at his mistress’s feet.

A lady’s favorite cat recently saved her pet canary’s life. The door of the bird's cage had accidentally been left open, and Dickie flew out, heading straight for the outside door, which was also open. However, the cat immediately chased after him and caught the bird in the hallway. Tom then came back and dropped the poor bird—half dead from fright—at his owner's feet.

I know of a cat—not at all a moral specimen—that took a fancy to eat one of her master’s rabbits. Knowing that she could not well do this within sight of the dwelling-house, she managed to chase one, or rather walk one, for she was too wise to hurry it, nearly a quarter of a mile from the house. She was just beginning her feast when discovered.

I know a cat—definitely not a moral example—who decided to eat one of her owner’s rabbits. Realizing she couldn’t do this where anyone could see, she cleverly chased it, or more like walked after it, since she was too smart to rush, almost a quarter of a mile from the house. She had just started her meal when she was caught.

A cat that dwelt in an outhouse, was seen one day to deliberately take a portion of her dinner, and place it in front of a mouse-hole in a corner. She then retired to a distance,[Pg 55] and set herself to watch. Not many minutes after, a fine plump mouse came out, gave one look round, and seeing nothing suspicious, commenced to eat the crumbs; while doing so, pussy sprang upon and captured it easily.

A cat that lived in an outhouse was spotted one day intentionally taking some of her dinner and placing it in front of a mouse hole in the corner. She then moved away and settled in to watch. Just a few minutes later, a nice, plump mouse appeared, took a quick look around, and seeing nothing unusual, started to eat the crumbs. While it was munching, the cat pounced and caught it easily.[Pg 55]

It is a common custom in the north of Scotland, and I suppose is so in other places, for the household cat regularly to attend at the milking of the cows, and to receive her allowance squirted directly from the cow’s pap. No matter to what distance it is sent, pussy will adroitly stem the current with open mouth, and eyes closed with delight.

It's a common tradition in the north of Scotland, and I guess in other places too, for the household cat to show up during the milking of the cows and to get her share squirted straight from the cow’s udder. No matter how far it travels, the cat will skillfully catch the milk with her open mouth, her eyes closed in bliss.

A friend of mine once saw a cat, attempting to suck a quiet good-natured cow. She failed, however; but walked directly up to where the gentleman was standing, and mewing in his face ran back and sat down below the udder, plainly requesting the favour of his assistance. He good-naturedly complied, and every day for weeks afterwards, the cat used to come for him to perform the same kind office.

A friend of mine once saw a cat trying to suckle a calm, friendly cow. She couldn't do it, but she walked right up to where the guy was standing and meowed in his face before running back and sitting beneath the udder, clearly asking for his help. He kindly agreed, and every day for weeks after, the cat would come to him for the same favor.

There is an old old man lives in K——, who has an old old cat. He is over one[Pg 56] hundred years, and the cat is gone nineteen; in that long time they have come to know each other pretty well. One evening, some years ago, pussy was sitting in a particularly studious attitude before the fire, as if it had something important to tell and didn’t know how to begin. The old man was looking at her thoughtfully.

There’s an old man who lives in K——, and he has an ancient cat. He’s over one[Pg 56] hundred years old, and the cat is nineteen; over all these years, they’ve gotten to know each other quite well. One evening, several years ago, the cat was sitting in a very thoughtful way in front of the fire, as if it had something important to say but didn’t know where to start. The old man was watching her intently.

“That cat,” he said presently, “has something on her mind; haven’t you, puss?”

“That cat,” he said after a moment, “has something on her mind; don’t you, kitty?”

Pussy, to his grandchild’s no small astonishment, at once mewed in reply; and jumping up, patted the old man’s leg, and commenced trotting to the foot of the stair, looking over her shoulder and asking him to follow.

Pussy, much to his grandchild’s surprise, immediately meowed back; then she jumped up, rubbed against the old man’s leg, and started walking towards the bottom of the stairs, glancing back and encouraging him to come along.

“Go you, Lizzie,” said the old man; and Lizzie went, following the cat up the stairs and into an old lumber garret. There the cause of pussy’s anxiety was soon discovered: a litter of five fine kittens, which pussy had had without the knowledge of any one in the house.

“Go ahead, Lizzie,” said the old man; and Lizzie went, following the cat up the stairs and into an old storage attic. There, the reason for the cat’s anxiety was quickly revealed: a litter of five adorable kittens, which the cat had had without anyone in the house knowing.

Cats are as fond of bird-nesting as any school-boy. A cat last summer found a starling’s nest in the gable-end of an old [Pg 57]barn. There were five eggs in it at the time, but these pussy did not touch, she preferred waiting until they were hatched. She was seen to go, sometimes as often as three times a day, and have a peep into the nest. When at length she was rewarded for her patience with the sight of goslings, she coolly put in her paw, drew out the little things one by one and devoured them before their distracted parents’ eyes. I did not feel at all sorry for that bereaved mother starling, for she and her impudent husband had rummaged every sparrow’s nest about the place, and eaten the eggs.

Cats love bird-nesting just as much as any schoolboy. Last summer, a cat found a starling's nest in the gable-end of an old [Pg 57] barn. At the time, there were five eggs in it, but this kitty didn't touch them; she preferred to wait until they hatched. She was seen visiting the nest, sometimes as many as three times a day, just to peek inside. When she was finally rewarded for her patience with the sight of goslings, she casually put in her paw, pulled out the little ones one by one, and devoured them right in front of their frantic parents. I didn’t feel the slightest bit sorry for that grieving mother starling, because she and her rude mate had raided every sparrow's nest around and eaten their eggs.

 

TORTOISESHELL and WHITE.
First Prize—Owned by J. Hurry, Esq.

TORTOISESHELL and WHITE.
First Prize—Owned by J. Hurry, Attorney at Law.

 

TABBY and WHITE.
First Prize—Owned by J. Gamble, Esq.

TABBY and WHITE.
First Prize—Owned by J. Gamble, Attorney

 

A man of the name of Claughie, shepherd to a nobleman in the West of Ireland had an enormously large Tom cat, who, as far as milk was concerned, was a notorious thief—the result, no doubt, of a deficient education in his youth. However, Tom was in the habit of committing depredations in the milk-house almost every night. Being always forgiven by the shepherd’s wife, he became at last quite a nuisance, and the shepherd determined to give him one sound hiding. He caught Tom[Pg 58] in the very act of stealing cream, and he warmed him accordingly. Tom went out in high dudgeon, and no more was thought of it. But that night Tom returned, and with him a number of other cats. Having surrounded the hut, they proceeded in true Fenian style, to break the windows and force an entrance. The shepherd, afraid of his life, fled to a loft, drawing up the ladder after him. His wife, however, showed more courage. She at once produced two large pansful of cream, and invited the intruders to drink. They did not require a second bidding, and having regaled themselves, they departed in peace and came no more.

A man named Claughie, a shepherd for a nobleman in the West of Ireland, had a massive tomcat who was notorious for stealing milk—probably due to a lack of good training in his early days. Tom had a habit of raiding the milk house almost every night. Always forgiven by the shepherd’s wife, he eventually became quite a nuisance, and the shepherd decided it was time to give him a good beating. He caught Tom in the act of stealing cream and punished him accordingly. Tom left in a huff, and everyone forgot about it. But that night, Tom came back with a bunch of other cats. Surrounding the hut, they began to break the windows and force their way inside. The shepherd, terrified for his life, ran up to the loft and pulled up the ladder behind him. However, his wife showed more courage. She quickly grabbed two big pans of cream and invited the intruders to drink. They didn't need asking twice, and after enjoying their feast, they left in peace and never returned.

But cats will often leave a house and never return, if they have been threatened with a severe licking.

But cats will often leave a home and never come back if they have been threatened with a serious beating.

A man residing in Ireland had a nice cat, which was fully eleven years of age, and which he had reared from kittenhood. One day this cat received correction for some offence, and that same night it disappeared. It not only disappeared itself, but enticed a neighbour’s cat along with it. Neither of[Pg 59] them ever returned. The two cats had always lived on terms of great intimacy with each other.

A man living in Ireland had a nice cat that was eleven years old and that he had raised since it was a kitten. One day, the cat was scolded for some misbehavior, and that very night it went missing. Not only did it vanish, but it also lured a neighbor's cat away with it. Neither of[Pg 59] them ever came back. The two cats had always been really close friends.

Another cat had succumbed to temptation and stolen some fish; she was so afraid of getting whipped for the theft, that she did not enter the house for two whole days. At the end of that time she was coming quietly in, when the goodwife, half in fun, seized hold of the poker, and shaking it at the poor delinquent, “Go out, you thieving hussy,” she cried, “and never darken my door again.” The cat drew back, and slipped away, and was never seen more in that neighbourhood.

Another cat had given in to temptation and stolen some fish; she was so scared of getting punished for the theft that she didn’t go back into the house for two whole days. Finally, when she was quietly coming back in, the goodwife, half-joking, grabbed the poker and shook it at the poor cat, shouting, “Get out, you thieving hussy, and don’t ever come back here!” The cat backed away and slipped off, never to be seen again in that neighborhood.

Of the eggs of fowls some cats are exceedingly fond, and if they once acquire a taste for this particular luxury, nothing can ever break them from it, and they will always find ways and means of indulging in the propensity. A cat of my acquaintance used to content herself with two, or at most, three a day. She belonged to a grocer, and was quite honest with regard to everything else. It was the shopkeeper himself who was to[Pg 60] blame for this fault in poor pussy: for in unpacking his eggs he would occasionally drop one, then call pussy’s attention to the fact, saying, “Here, pussy, you take that.” So in process of time the cat took rather a penchant for eggs. She would jump on the counter whenever the whim struck her, and take an egg from the basket; then, with a face beaming with mischief, she would proceed to make a mouse of it, paw-pawing it until it rolled over on to the floor, as if by the merest accident in the world. Then it was amusing to see the air of astonishment pussy adopted, as she peered wonderingly over the edge of the counter, as much as to say,—“Hullo! broken? Here, pussy, you take that.” And down she would jump and lick it up.

Some cats are really fond of bird eggs, and once they develop a taste for this indulgence, nothing can stop them from wanting more, and they'll always find a way to satisfy that craving. I know a cat that was satisfied with two or maybe three eggs a day. She belonged to a grocer and was perfectly honest about everything else. It was actually the shopkeeper's fault for her egg obsession: while unpacking his eggs, he would sometimes drop one and then call the cat's attention to it, saying, “Here, kitty, you can have that.” Over time, the cat developed quite a liking for eggs. She would leap onto the counter whenever she felt like it and grab an egg from the basket; with a gleeful, mischievous expression, she'd then bat it around until it rolled onto the floor as if it had happened by chance. It was funny to watch her surprise as she peeked over the edge of the counter, making it seem as if she were thinking, “Oh! It’s broken? Here, kitty, you can have that.” Then she would jump down and gobble it up.

 

 


CHAPTER VI.

[See Note F, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

A CAT THAT KEEPS THE SABBATH.

A CAT THAT KEEPS THE SABBATH.

Yes, far-seeing reader, you are right, it is a Scotch cat. In England a deficient educational scheme is dead against the chance of any such anomaly. In some parts of bonnie Scotland you “daurna whistle on the Sabbath,” the dogs “daurna” bark, the cows “daurna” low, and the cock is confined beneath a barrel, to prevent him giving expression to his independence. England is looked upon as a poor benighted country, living in darkness and ignorance; and a tourist is termed a “poor daft Englisher,” or a “gangrel body.” But now for the cat.

Yes, keen reader, you're right, it is a Scottish cat. In England, a lacking educational system really hinders the chance of any such oddity. In some parts of lovely Scotland, you “can’t whistle on Sunday,” dogs “aren’t allowed” to bark, cows “can’t” moo, and the rooster is kept under a barrel to stop him from expressing his independence. England is seen as a poor, unenlightened place, living in darkness and ignorance; and a tourist is called a “poor silly English person,” or a “roaming wanderer.” But now, let's talk about the cat.

This pussy completes a family circle, who dwell in a remote village of Forfarshire. It is the only live stock they possess, is an old old-fashioned cat, and of course a great pet. It has a daily round of duties, from which it never varies any more than the clock does. It sleeps with the children, and gets[Pg 62] up at the same hour every morning. It first strolls round all the rooms, watching for a little every mouse-hole, where it has ever killed a mouse. It then goes to its mistress’s bedroom, wakes her and sees her dressed, trots before her to the door and is let out, coming in at the same hour every day for breakfast, and showing signs of indignation if its porridge and milk are not ready waiting, or if they are too hot, which it ascertains by a preliminary touch with its toe. Breakfast over, comes a long hour’s sleep before the parlour fire in winter, or in the sun in summer-time. Then comes the time for the forenoon constitutional—a mere walk for pastime; true, if a sparrow pops down before its nose, it is nimbly caught and eaten; but at this early hour pussy prefers lighter amusements,—catching butterflies, turtle-turning frogs, climbing trees, or dancing ghillie-callum on the back of the shepherd’s unhappy collie-dog. She is always at home a quarter of an hour before her master, with whom she dines. Reinvigorated by the mid-day meal, pussy now starts on a hunting[Pg 63] expedition, the scene of action being a wood about a quarter of a mile from her residence. Here this cat stays bird-catching among the trees, until the sun sets and there isn’t a bird to be seen, and then comes trotting home. A drink of sweet milk forms a light but nutritious supper, and not a bad narcotic; then this methodical puss curls herself up at the “bairnies’” feet, and sings herself and them to sleep. Such is pussy’s week-day work, never varying, day by day and year by year. But on Sunday she does no work, and neither fights nor hunts, but keeps the house, dumb and demure, like the pious little puss she is; musing with half-shut eyes over the fire, or basking in the sunshine on the garden walk.

This cat completes a family circle, living in a remote village in Forfarshire. It's the only pet they have, an old-fashioned cat, and of course a beloved companion. It has a daily routine that it sticks to as consistently as a clock. It sleeps with the kids and gets up at the same time every morning. First, it strolls around all the rooms, checking every mouse hole where it has ever caught a mouse. Then it goes to its owner's bedroom, wakes her up, and waits for her to get dressed. It leads her to the door and is let outside, returning at the same time each day for breakfast. It shows its annoyance if its porridge and milk aren’t ready or if they’re too hot, which it checks by lightly touching them with its paw. After breakfast, it enjoys a long nap by the parlor fire in winter or in the sun during summer. Then it’s time for a morning stroll—a leisurely walk for fun. Admittedly, if a sparrow happens to land nearby, it pounces and catches it, but at this early time, the cat prefers lighter activities—like catching butterflies, turning over frogs, climbing trees, or playfully dancing on the back of the unfortunate shepherd's collie dog. It always makes it home about fifteen minutes before its owner, with whom it shares dinner. Revitalized by the midday meal, the cat then sets off on a hunting spree, with its hunting ground being a wood about a quarter of a mile from home. Here, it spends hours catching birds among the trees until sunset when all the birds have gone, and then it trots back home. A drink of sweet milk makes for a light but satisfying dinner, which also acts as a nice relaxant; afterwards, this meticulous cat curls up at the children's feet and sings them and itself to sleep. This is the cat's weekday routine, unchanging, day after day and year after year. But on Sundays, it does no work, neither fighting nor hunting, instead, it keeps the house quietly and calmly, like the pious little cat it is; reflecting with half-closed eyes by the fire, or soaking up the sun in the garden path.

What an example to the wild strath-vagrant, Sabbath-breaking cats of other places! Early to bed and early to rise, who can doubt this pussy’s wisdom? Who can doubt that in her rural home—

What an example to the wild, wandering, Sabbath-breaking cats of other places! Early to bed and early to rise, who can doubt this cat’s wisdom? Who can doubt that in her rural home—

“She’ll crown, in shades like these,
A youth of labour with an age of ease.”

"She'll celebrate in colors like these,"
A young person working hard with a life of comfort.”

 

 


CHAPTER VII.

[See Note G, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

HONEST CATS.

Straightforward Cats.

Numerous instances of the honesty of well-trained cats might be given. My own cat and travelling companion Muffie, has always taken her place on the table at meals, and I have never had reason to repent of the indulgence. Even should I leave the room for half an hour, nothing could tempt her to lay a paw upon anything; neither will she allow any one else, not even the waiter, to touch the viands without my permission. If I go to sleep on the sofa, she immediately mounts guard over me, and it would be very incautious in any one to come within reach of her nails. All sorts of property she guards just the same, and of my starling she is particularly careful.

There are plenty of examples of the honesty of well-trained cats. My own cat and travel buddy Muffie always sits at the table during meals, and I’ve never regretted giving her that privilege. Even if I leave the room for half an hour, nothing could tempt her to touch anything; she doesn’t let anyone else, including the waiter, touch the food without my permission. If I nap on the sofa, she immediately keeps watch over me, and it would be a big mistake for anyone to come too close to her claws. She guards all kinds of property in the same way, and she’s especially protective of my starling.

A gentleman of my acquaintance used to have a cat, which brought home wild rabbits almost daily, but he knew his master’s tame ones, and many a romp and rough-and-tumble[Pg 65] they had together on the lawn. Tom’s master had a mavis. This bird did not live in a cage, but roamed about the house at its own sweet will; yet pussy never made any attempt to injure it; in fact, seemed to like it. What was most singular, the cat was in the constant habit of bringing in live birds,—sparrows, larks, and sometimes even a mavis, which she quietly devoured beside Dickie, he standing on the floor in front of her, looking on and whistling to himself. Birds being the natural prey of the cat, the foregoing anecdote just shows to what a high state of training they can be brought, and how well worthy pussy is of being trained. There is as much too in the breeding, as in the educating; for you always find that honest cats have honest kittens, and vice versâ. Of course it is contrary to nature to expect a cat to live on terms of intimacy with a bird and not sometimes make a mistake.

A friend of mine used to have a cat that would bring home wild rabbits almost every day, but it recognized its owner’s pet rabbits, and they often played and wrestled[Pg 65] together on the lawn. Tom’s owner had a thrush. This bird didn’t stay in a cage but freely roamed around the house; still, the cat never tried to hurt it and actually seemed to enjoy its company. What was most surprising was that the cat would frequently bring in live birds—sparrows, larks, and sometimes even a thrush—which it would quietly eat next to Dickie, who stood on the floor in front of her, looking on and whistling to himself. Since birds are natural prey for cats, this story illustrates how well cats can be trained and how deserving they are of that training. Breeding plays as much of a role as education does; honest cats produce honest kittens, and vice versa. Naturally, it’s unrealistic to expect a cat to live closely with a bird without occasionally making a mistake.

An old toll-keeper, in Stirlingshire, had a favourite cat and a pet canary at the same time. Living all alone, and having plenty of[Pg 66] spare time, he had the pussy taught to allow the bird to take any liberties with her he chose, and to perch on her back or head whenever he had a mind. Indeed, Dickie was seldom in his cage, when he could be with the cat. Many people came to see them; and to remove all scepticism the toll-man used to open the cage-door, when the bird would immediately fly out, alight on pussy’s head, and at once burst into song. One day, when working in his garden, a cat passed Mr. Tolly, apparently in a vehement hurry, with a bright yellow bird in its mouth, and hurried away towards the wood. “Losh!” said Tolly, sticking his spade in the ground and scratching his poll, “that can never be my cat surely!” and “Lord, have a care o’ me!” he added; “that can never surely be my bird.” With a beating heart he rushed towards the house, and there got proof positive it was both his cat and his bird; for the cage-door was open, and puss and Dick had both disappeared. It was a case of elopement, or rather abduction of the most forcible nature. Poor Tolly was now a[Pg 67] very lonely man indeed; for, well aware of the heinous nature of the crime she had committed, and afraid of the consequences, the cat never returned.

An old tollkeeper in Stirlingshire had a favorite cat and a pet canary at the same time. Living alone and having plenty of[Pg 66] spare time, he trained the cat to let the bird do whatever it wanted, even to perch on her back or head whenever it felt like it. In fact, Dickie was rarely in his cage whenever he could be with the cat. Many people came to see them, and to prove there was no trick, the tollkeeper would open the cage door, and the bird would immediately fly out, land on the cat’s head, and start singing right away. One day, while working in his garden, Mr. Tolly saw a cat dash past him, seemingly in a hurry, with a bright yellow bird in its mouth, making its way toward the woods. "Oh no!" said Tolly, sticking his spade in the ground and scratching his head, “that can't be my cat, can it?” and “Goodness, help me!” he added; “that can't surely be my bird.” With a racing heart, he rushed back to the house and found undeniable proof it was both his cat and his bird; the cage door was open, and both puss and Dick had vanished. It was a case of elopement, or rather a very forceful abduction. Poor Tolly was now a[Pg 67] very lonely man indeed; fully aware of the serious nature of the crime the cat had committed, and scared of the consequences, she never returned.

“In our city house,” writes a lady to me, “we have a fine grey and black cat. This cat is the most honest of creatures, and guards our larder from the predatory inroads of the neighbour’s cats. On one occasion a stray cat was observed to run away with a cold stewed pigeon. Our cat rushed after the thief, and with some difficulty induced it to drop the spoil; she then brought the pigeon back and laid it down at its master’s feet.”

“In our city house,” a woman writes to me, “we have a nice gray and black cat. This cat is the most loyal of creatures and protects our pantry from the sneaky neighbor’s cats. One time, a stray cat was seen running off with a cold stewed pigeon. Our cat dashed after the thief and, after some effort, got it to drop the prize; she then brought the pigeon back and laid it down at her owner’s feet.”

It is by no means an uncommon thing in Scotland, to see a large tabby on a shopkeeper’s counter, kept to look after bigger thieves than rats or mice. Some of these animals I have known to especially hate little boys, and indeed to raise serious objections to their being served at all. I remember one cat in particular, a very large and powerful Tom, who used daily to mount guard on the counter, to protect his master’s[Pg 68] wares. He used to walk up and down, generally keeping close to the shopkeeper, and his quick eye on the customer. If the latter paid the money down, he was allowed to take up and pocket the articles; but if he put a finger on any little package before paying, Tom’s big paw was down on him at once, a hint that never required repeating to the same customer. It is almost needless to say that Tom himself was the pink of everything that was fair and honest; he was never, under any circumstances, known to steal. One day, the merchant had gone for a few minutes into the back shop, leaving Tom sitting, apparently asleep, beside a large piece of butter, which had just been weighed. An urchin, who happened to be passing, seeing the state of affairs—the coast clear and the sentry asleep—determined not to let slip so golden an opportunity; he had a large piece of oat-cake in his hand. He would butter that at least, he thought. He had just got the knife stuck into the butter, when, quick as lightning, Tom nabbed him. Deeply in, through the skin, went the cat’s[Pg 69] claws, and loudly screamed the urchin. Tom raised his voice in concert, but held fast, and the duet quickly brought the shopkeeper to the spot. Tom appeared to have great satisfaction in seeing that little Arab’s ears boxed.

It’s quite common in Scotland to find a big tabby cat on a shopkeeper’s counter, there to keep an eye on bigger thieves than just rats or mice. I’ve known some of these cats to particularly dislike little boys and even object to their being served at all. I remember one cat in particular, a large and strong Tom, who would guard the counter daily to protect his master’s

I know an instance of a cat, which brought home a live canary in its mouth, which she presented to her mistress. The bird was put in a cage, and turned out a great pet; and pussy and the bird were always great friends; the cat one day punishing severely a stray puss that had been guilty of the unpardonable crime of looking at the canary.

I know about a cat that brought home a live canary in its mouth and gave it to its owner. The bird was placed in a cage and soon became a favorite pet; the cat and the bird became great friends. One day, the cat punished a stray cat harshly for committing the unforgivable act of looking at the canary.

 

 


CHAPTER VIII.

[See Note H, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

THE PLOUGHMAN’S “MYSIE.”

THE PLOUGHMAN’S “MYSIE.”

Ten miles along dusty roads in a hilly country, and on a hot summer’s day, was rather fatiguing, and I was glad to find the ploughman’s cottage, or rather hut, at last. It was placed in a picturesque little nook, at the foot of the Ochil mountains, and consisted simply of a “butt and a ben,” with a potatoe patch and kail-yard in front. The mistress was at home; her goodman, she said, was busy sowing turnips. But she kindly asked me in, and showed me into the best room, with its mahogany chest of drawers, old-fashioned eight-day clock, and bed with snowy counterpane in the corner. While I rested, the good woman produced her kebbuck of last year’s cheese, a basin of creamy milk, and some delicious oat-cakes,—a banquet for a hungry king,—and bade me eat, apologising that she had no whisky in the house.

Ten miles along dusty roads in a hilly area on a hot summer day was pretty tiring, so I was relieved to finally reach the ploughman's cottage, or rather a hut. It was tucked away in a charming little spot at the foot of the Ochil mountains and was simply made up of a living area and a bedroom, with a potato patch and kale garden in front. The hostess was home; her husband, she said, was busy sowing turnips. She kindly invited me in and showed me to the best room, featuring a mahogany chest of drawers, an old-fashioned eight-day clock, and a bed with a snowy white cover in the corner. While I rested, the kind woman brought out her cheese from last year, a bowl of creamy milk, and some tasty oatcakes—a feast fit for a hungry king—and urged me to eat, apologizing for not having any whisky in the house.

[Pg 71]“And so,” she said, “you’ve come a’ this lang road too see our Mysie. Well,” pointing towards the bed, “yonder she is, sir.”

[Pg 71]“So,” she said, “you’ve come all this way to see our Mysie. Well,” she pointed to the bed, “there she is, sir.”

I was certainly a little disappointed. Mysie was a tortoise-shell and white, pretty well marked, but small and with an expression, as I thought, of bad temper about her little face, which just then seemed the reverse of pleasant; but this wore off when I patted and caressed her.

I was definitely a bit disappointed. Mysie was a tortoiseshell and white cat, pretty well marked, but small and had a look on her little face that I thought indicated a bad temper, making her seem quite unpleasant at that moment; however, that faded away when I patted and cuddled her.

“Is there anything remarkable about her?” I asked.

“Is there anything special about her?” I asked.

“Weel, sir,” said her mistress, “she can catch mice like winking.”

“Well, sir,” said her mistress, “she can catch mice in a blink.”

“Cats generally do,” said I laughing; “anything else?”

“Cats usually do,” I said, laughing. “Anything else?”

“She’s a queer cratur. She has never slept a single night in the house since her e’en were opened, and——But you’re no eating, sir.”

"She’s an unusual creature. She’s never spent a single night in the house since she became aware, and—but you’re not eating, sir."

I praised the cakes and kebbuck, and remained silent.

I complimented the cakes and kebbuck, and stayed quiet.

“The fact is, sir,” she said at last, “she saved my husband’s life last fa’ o’ the year. For George is a proud proud man, and[Pg 72] would never accept meal or maut that he hadna worked or paid for.[1] But he had been lang lang ill; and ae day when I followed the doctor to the door, he told me that my poor man must die if he didna have his strength kept up. ‘Flesh and wine,’ said the doctor, ‘flesh and wine and plenty of both.’ Ah! little he kenned. So I put awa (pledged) my marriage gown and ring to get him wine; but we had naething in the house but milk and meal. Surely, sir, it was the Lord Himself that put it into that cat’s head; for, that same night, she brought in a fine young rabbit, and laid it on the verra bed;”—the good woman was weeping now—“and the next night the same, and every night the same, for a month, whiles a rabbit and whiles a bird, till George was up and going to his work as usual. But she never brought onything hame[Pg 73] after that. She’s, maybe, no bonnie, sir; but, God bless her, she is unco good and wiser than many a human.”

“The fact is, sir,” she finally said, “she saved my husband’s life last fall. George is a really proud man, and[Pg 72] he would never accept food or drink that he hadn’t worked for or paid for.[1] But he had been very ill for a long time; and one day when I followed the doctor to the door, he told me that my poor man would die if he didn’t keep his strength up. ‘Meat and wine,’ said the doctor, ‘meat and wine and plenty of both.’ Ah! little did he know. So I sold my wedding dress and ring to buy him some wine; but we had nothing in the house except milk and flour. Surely, sir, it was the Lord Himself who inspired that cat; for, that same night, she brought in a fine young rabbit and laid it right on the bed,”—the good woman was now weeping—“and the next night the same, and every night for a month, sometimes a rabbit and sometimes a bird, until George was back to work as usual. But she never brought anything home[Pg 73] after that. She may not be beautiful, sir; but, God bless her, she is incredibly good and wiser than many people.”

By this time I could perceive no expression on Mysie’s face but that of unalterable fidelity and unchangeable love.

By this point, I could see no expression on Mysie’s face except for unwavering loyalty and constant love.

“You wouldn’t like to part with her, would you?”

“You wouldn’t want to let her go, would you?”

“Part wi’ Mysie, sir? No for a’ the warld’s wealth.”

“Leave Mysie, sir? Not for all the riches in the world.”

So I bade them good-bye, not now regretting my long walk to the Ochil mountains, and the ploughman’s faithful Mysie.

So I said goodbye to them, no longer regretting my long walk to the Ochil mountains, and the ploughman’s loyal Mysie.

 

 


CHAPTER IX.

[See Note I, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

TENACITY OF LIFE IN CATS.

Cats' resilience in life.

“As many lives as a cat,” and “a cat has nine lives,” are sayings which we hear almost every day. The truth of the latter we must all acknowledge; not indeed as regards the imputed plurality of lives in the cat, but, as illustrative of the extreme tenacity of the one life she possesses. As an Irishman would say, pussy may be many times “kill’t,” but only once “kill’t entirely;” or, as a Zanzibar nigger would have it, she may be often-times dead, but only once “gone dead.”

“As many lives as a cat,” and “a cat has nine lives,” are sayings we hear almost every day. We all have to admit the truth of the latter; not in terms of the supposed multiple lives of a cat, but as a way of illustrating the incredible resilience of the single life it has. As an Irish person might say, the cat may be killed many times, but only once is it completely dead; or, as someone from Zanzibar might put it, it can be often dead, but only once is it truly gone.

Joy was a farmer’s cat, a beautifully-marked lady-tabby. She was extremely fond of horses, used to jump on their backs, and often sleep there at night. She was consequently nearly always in the stable. One day, however, one of her pets kicked her,—accidentally it is to be hoped, but so severely that one of the men found her, lying cold[Pg 75] and stiff beside the wall. He lifted her up and laid her on the dunghill, until he should find time to give her a decent burial. Here the poor animal lay all day in the sun, and here she was found at milking-time, by a kind-hearted servant girl. Thinking she perceived some tokens of life about it, and remembering the proverb, she took the pussy into the kitchen, and rolling it carefully in a flannel petticoat, placed it in front of the fire. When she came in from milking, she was rejoiced to find that pussy was so much better, as to be able to lift her head and taste a little warm milk. With three days’ careful nursing the cat recovered. She lived to a goodly old age, but abjured the turf,—she never backed a favourite again.

Joy was a farmer's cat, a beautifully marked lady-tabby. She loved horses and would often jump on their backs and sleep there at night. Because of this, she was almost always in the stable. One day, though, one of her favorite horses accidentally kicked her, and she was found cold and stiff against the wall. One of the men picked her up and laid her on the dung heap until he had time to give her a proper burial. The poor cat lay there all day in the sun until a kind-hearted servant girl found her at milking time. Thinking she saw some signs of life and recalling an old saying, she took the cat into the kitchen, wrapped her carefully in a flannel petticoat, and placed her in front of the fire. When she returned from milking, she was delighted to see that the cat was much better and could lift her head and sip some warm milk. After three days of careful nursing, the cat recovered. She lived to a good old age but never went near the horses again—she never backed a favorite horse after that.

Another cat, found in a trap, was cruelly beaten about the head by a brutal keeper, until the blood gushed from both ears. He finally cut off the poor thing’s tail as a trophy of his bravery, and left her on the ground for dead. Her mistress, hearing of what had happened, was soon on the spot, and carried home what she thought was[Pg 76] the dead body of her cat. She tried every means of resuscitation, nevertheless, and in three weeks had the satisfaction of seeing pussy as well as ever, and as full of fun; only it was now a Manx cat, an artificial one. Pussy must often have seen her own tail hanging on the game-keeper’s wall, in company with a dead hawk, an owl, and a few hoody-crows. The man had the tail frizzed up to make it look big; and pointing it out to many a cockney sportsman, used to relate a story of a dreadful encounter he had with a “real wild cat, sir,” which he at last slew; “and yonder,” he would always add, “hangs the buffer’s tail.”

Another cat, found in a trap, was brutally hit in the head by a cruel keeper until blood streamed from both ears. He ended up cutting off the poor cat’s tail as a trophy of his so-called bravery and left her on the ground for dead. Her owner, hearing what had happened, quickly rushed to the scene and took home what she thought was[Pg 76] the lifeless body of her cat. She tried everything to revive her, and after three weeks, she was thrilled to see her cat back to her old self, lively and playful; only now, she was a Manx cat, an artificial one. The cat must have often seen her own tail hanging on the gamekeeper’s wall, alongside a dead hawk, an owl, and a few hooded crows. The man had styled the tail to make it look larger and would point it out to many city sportsmen, telling the tale of a terrible encounter he had with a “real wild cat, sir,” which he eventually killed; “and there,” he would always add, “hangs the creature’s tail.”

A man going one morning into his dovecot, which in this case was an attic at the top of a house eight-storeys high, found his own cat killing the pigeons right and left. Greatly enraged, he kicked the animal through the open window. On going down shortly after, rather ashamed and sorry for what he had done, he was greatly surprised to see pussy gather herself up, and slink in at the back door. Apparently she was[Pg 77] none the worse of her rather hurried descent from a height of over fifty feet.

A man went into his attic, which was at the top of an eight-story building, one morning to check on his doves and found his cat killing the pigeons left and right. Furious, he kicked the cat out the open window. A little while later, feeling ashamed and sorry for what he had done, he was really surprised to see the cat come back in through the back door. Apparently, she wasn’t any worse for wear after her quick fall from over fifty feet.

In the case of the cat which the keeper “kill’d,” there was no doubt fracture of the skull. In the following case, the apparent death was no doubt due to severe concussion of the brain, or stunning.

In the case of the cat that the keeper “killed,” there was no doubt a fracture of the skull. In the next case, the apparent death was probably due to a severe concussion of the brain or stunning.

A boy in going to school one day, saw a large cat sitting not far from its master’s door. Without meaning to hurt the pussy, but with that recklessness of consequences which characterizes most school-boys, he picked up a stone to have “just one shy at her.” He struck her on the head, and pussy dropped to all appearance as dead as the stone itself. Afraid of the consequences of detection, he picked the cat up and threw it in a cornfield not far off. As murderers are said to haunt the scene of their guilt, so the boy every morning, for the three following days, found himself irresistibly drawn towards the field of corn, and every morning there lay his victim stark and still. On the fourth morning, however, she was gone; and in returning from school the same evening,[Pg 78] the boy’s astonishment was very great indeed, on seeing the identical cat, washing its face at its master’s door, as if nothing had ever occurred to annoy it.

A boy was on his way to school one day when he saw a big cat sitting not far from its owner’s door. Not meaning to hurt the cat, but acting recklessly like most schoolboys do, he picked up a stone to take "just one shot at her." He hit her on the head, and the cat fell over, appearing completely lifeless. Worried about getting caught, he picked up the cat and threw it into a nearby cornfield. Like how murderers are said to linger at the scene of their crime, the boy felt an overwhelming urge to go back to the cornfield every morning for the next three days, and every morning, his victim lay there, motionless. However, on the fourth morning, she was gone; and on his way back from school that same evening,[Pg 78] the boy was truly astonished to see the same cat, calmly washing its face at its owner’s door as if nothing had ever happened to bother it.

Kittens, too, possess the same tenacity of life which is so remarkable in the full-grown cat.

Kittens also have the same determination to live that is so striking in adult cats.

A friend of mine, for example, had a cat which gave birth to a litter of five kittens, four of which were ordered to be drowned. The execution of the sentence was duly carried out, the same evening in a pail of water. When full time had been given to the kits to give their final kick, the pail was emptied on a heap of manure. Next morning, however, all the young pussies were found alive and well in their happy mother’s arms. She was allowed to rear them. I do not know what means pussy adopted to revivify her apparently drowned offspring, or I should at once send the recipe to the Royal Humane Society, and patiently wait for a silver medallion by return of post.

A friend of mine had a cat that gave birth to a litter of five kittens, four of which were ordered to be drowned. The sentence was carried out that same evening in a bucket of water. After enough time had passed for the kittens to take their final breath, the bucket was emptied onto a pile of manure. However, the next morning, all the little kitties were found alive and healthy in their happy mother’s arms. She was allowed to raise them. I have no idea how the cat managed to bring her seemingly drowned kittens back to life, or else I would have sent the method to the Royal Humane Society and patiently waited for a silver medal to arrive in the mail.

I remember, when a boy, seeing a horrid old woman dig a hole in the earth and[Pg 79] deliberately bury three kittens alive. The ground heaved above them, and she clapped the earth with the spade till all motion ceased. The same aged wretch used to toast snails in a little flannel bag before the fire, in order to extract the oil for sprains, and I have often shuddered to hear the snails squeak; but this of course has nothing to do with the subject of cats. I went and told my little sister of the cruel interment; and, watching our chance—we really thought the old woman would bury us if she caught us—we dug up the kittens fully an hour after, and were successful in nursing two of them back to life. We reared them on the spoon.

I remember, when I was a boy, seeing a horrible old woman digging a hole in the ground and[Pg 79] deliberately burying three kittens alive. The ground moved above them, and she slammed the spade against the earth until all the motion stopped. The same old hag used to cook snails in a little flannel bag by the fire to get the oil for sprains, and I often shuddered when I heard the snails squeaking; but that, of course, has nothing to do with cats. I went and told my little sister about the cruel burial; and, watching our chance— we really thought the old woman would bury us if she saw us—we dug up the kittens an hour later and managed to nurse two of them back to life. We fed them with a spoon.

The following anecdote might, perhaps, have been more properly related, in the chapter on cruelty to cats; however, as illustrative of the subject in point, we give it here. At a certain farm-town, about ten years ago, one of the men-servants conceived a great antipathy to his master’s cat. The cat had been guilty of some little delinquency in the bothy, or farm-servants’ hall,[Pg 80] for which the man had punished pussy. The farmer had taken his cat’s part, and scolded the man, and hence the casus belli. The man swore vengeance on poor pussy, whenever an opportunity should occur. Nor had he long to wait; a fast-day came round, and nearly every one had gone to church. The brutal fellow got the cat in the stable, and commenced putting her to death with a horsewhip. This he had well-nigh accomplished, when puss by some means effected her escape. She was unable, however, to make much use of her legs, so he whipped her round and round the farm-steading, until the poor creature took refuge in a hole, which happened to be in the barn wall. This hole was a cul-de-sac, having no opening on the inside of the wall. It now occurred to this fiendish lout, that he might easily accomplish pussy’s death and burial at the same time, and he forthwith proceeded to build up the hole with stone and lime. The cat was missed, and a whole week elapsed without any tidings of her; and although suspicion fell upon the right party,[Pg 81] there was no proof. A whole week elapsed, when one evening the farmer was standing near the barn wondering if ever he would see his little friend again. Suddenly his eye fell upon the servant’s handiwork. That wall, he thought, was never repaired by my orders; my poor cat is buried there. To fetch a pick and tear out the stones did not take many seconds, and then from her very grave he pulled the pussy. Strange to say, she was alive; and though dreadfully emaciated, by careful nursing she got all right again in a few weeks. She had been eight days immured in a cramped position. Only fancy her sufferings.

The following story might have been better placed in the chapter on cruelty to cats; however, to illustrate the point, we’ll share it here. About ten years ago, in a small farming town, one of the farmhands developed a strong dislike for his master’s cat. The cat had committed a minor misdeed in the staff quarters, for which the man punished her. The farmer defended his cat and scolded the man, which led to the conflict. The man vowed to take revenge on the poor cat whenever he got the chance. He didn't have to wait long; a day of fasting came, and nearly everyone went to church. The cruel man found the cat in the stable and began to beat her to death with a horsewhip. He was almost done when the cat somehow managed to escape. However, she couldn’t run very well, so he chased her around the farm until she found a hole in the barn wall to hide in. This hole was a dead end, with no opening on the inside. This malicious man then decided he could easily kill the cat and bury her at the same time, so he started closing up the hole with stones and lime. The cat went missing, and a whole week went by without any news of her. Even though suspicion fell on the right person, there was no proof. A week later, one evening, the farmer was standing near the barn, wondering if he would ever see his little friend again. Suddenly, he noticed the servant's handiwork. That wall, he thought, was never repaired by my orders; my poor cat is buried there. It took him just seconds to grab a pick and start pulling out the stones, and then he pulled out the cat from her grave. Surprisingly, she was alive; although severely malnourished, with careful nursing, she recovered in a few weeks. She had been trapped in a small space for eight days. Just imagine her suffering.

Some schoolboys, not long since, stoned a poor cat till she fell down apparently dead. Afraid of what they had done, they determined to kill it outright, and bury it in an adjoining field. This they endeavoured to do by dashing the cat’s head against a stone fence; not succeeding, however, and being in a hurry to get off, to escape detection a grave was hurriedly dug, and pussy interred. The ground was still moving over her when[Pg 82] the young wretches left. Bad news travels apace; and the owner of poor puss hearing of her favourite’s death and burial, hastened to the grave and dug her up. There was still life in her, and by careful treatment she made a good recovery, and was seen about her old haunts four or five days after.

Some schoolboys, not long ago, stoned a poor cat until she fell down, apparently dead. Afraid of what they had done, they decided to finish her off and bury her in a nearby field. They tried to do this by smashing the cat’s head against a stone fence; however, they didn’t succeed, and in their rush to avoid getting caught, they quickly dug a grave and buried her. The ground was still shifting over her when[Pg 82] the young miscreants left. Bad news spreads fast, and the owner of the poor cat, hearing about her death and burial, rushed to the grave and dug her up. There was still life in her, and with careful treatment, she made a full recovery and was seen around her favorite spots four or five days later.

The following case of suspended animation may seem almost incredible; it is authentic nevertheless, and not unaccountable either on scientific grounds.

The following case of suspended animation may seem almost unbelievable; it is authentic nonetheless, and can be explained on scientific grounds.

The owner of a black and white cat determined, for private reasons, to get rid of her. He had not the heart to hang her, or he was not sufficiently enamoured of Calcraft’s profession to do so; there was no poison in the house; and as he lived away up in the centre of a hilly country, there was no water, without walking a long distance, sufficiently deep to drown her. Thinking, however, that suffocation, in whatever way produced, was as easy a death as any, he got a small bag, in which he placed the cat, tying the mouth of the sack. He then dug a hole in the garden and lowered her down.

The owner of a black and white cat decided, for personal reasons, to get rid of her. He couldn't bring himself to hang her, or he didn’t care enough for Calcraft’s profession to do so; there was no poison in the house; and since he lived in a hilly area, there was no water nearby that was deep enough to drown her without a long walk. However, thinking that suffocation, in any form, was a simple way to kill her, he took a small bag, put the cat inside, and tied the bag shut. Then he dug a hole in the garden and lowered her in.

[Pg 83]“I’ll no hurt ye, poor puss,” he said, as he pressed the earth firmly but gently over her; “and ye’ll no be lang o’ deeing there—God! she canna live wantin’ breath.” This grave was merely meant for a temporary resting-place; so next morning the man went to open it, with the intention of placing her remains at the foot of a tree. To his surprise pussy jumped out of the bag “alive and well;” well enough, at any rate, to make her feet her friends. That cat thought she had lived long enough, in that part of the country.

[Pg 83]“I won’t hurt you, poor kitty,” he said, as he pressed the dirt firmly but gently over her; “and you won’t be dead for long—God! she can’t live without breathing.” This grave was just supposed to be a temporary resting place; so the next morning, the man went to dig it up, planning to bury her remains at the base of a tree. To his surprise, the cat jumped out of the bag “alive and well;” well enough, at least, to run away from him. That cat figured she had lived long enough in that area.

The same black Tom mentioned in a former chapter, as guarding his master’s wares, and keeping his eye on questionable customers, was certainly very exemplary in his honesty; but as every pussy has one little failing so had big Tom. An egg was Tom’s stumbling-block. He could have got dozens of them on his master’s counter, but that would have been theft; besides, he preferred his eggs new-laid, and not imported. So, with the intention of ministering to his cravings, Tom used to pay occasional visits to the henneries of the[Pg 84] neighbours. He also had a habit of making a pilgrimage to an adjoining village, and calling at the house of a man called Archie, a weaver and customer of his master’s. Archie was very fond of Tom, and always made him welcome. Not so, however, a man called Dan, who lived in the next house. For this man openly accused Tom of stealing his eggs; and there was no doubt some truth in it, for Dan’s wife swore she had seen Tom more than once, coming out through the hen-hole in the barn door, with his beard still yellow with the yolk of a stolen egg. Dan resolved to be revenged, and at once set about encompassing the poor pussy’s death. He so arranged a bag beneath the hen-hole, that on Tom’s going through he would be certain to pop into it, and so make himself prisoner. The first time the bag was set Dan only captured his own cock, the next time a stray hen of a neighbour; but this only made him the more determined; and eventually he was successful. Tom was a prisoner, and condemned to instant[Pg 85] execution by Dan and his wife Bell. Bell indeed was even more bitter against the cat than her husband. Just then pussy’s friend the weaver happened to come upon the scene, and hearing what had occurred, and what was about to follow, he pleaded long and hard for his little friend’s life, and even threatened the terrors of the law; but Dan was inexorable. Die Tom should, he said, if he himself should hang for it. He “kill’d” the cat by dashing the sack, many times against the gable-wall of his own house. “He’s quiet enough now,” said Dan.

The same black Tom mentioned in an earlier chapter, who watched over his master’s goods and kept an eye on suspicious customers, was definitely admirable in his honesty; but like every cat, he had one little weakness—his weakness was eggs. He could have easily taken dozens from his master’s counter, but that would have been stealing; plus, he preferred his eggs fresh and not store-bought. So, to satisfy his cravings, Tom would occasionally visit the henhouses of the neighbors. He also had a habit of making a trip to a nearby village, stopping by the house of a man named Archie, a weaver and customer of his master’s. Archie really liked Tom and always welcomed him. Not so for a man named Dan, who lived next door. This man accused Tom of stealing his eggs; there was definitely some truth to it, as Dan’s wife insisted she had seen Tom multiple times coming out of the hen-hole in the barn door, with his beard still yellow from the yolk of a stolen egg. Dan decided to take revenge and immediately set out to trap the poor cat. He arranged a bag beneath the hen-hole so that when Tom went through, he would inevitably get caught. The first time he set the trap, he only caught his own rooster; the next time it was a stray hen belonging to a neighbor. But this only made him even more determined, and eventually, he succeeded. Tom was caught and sentenced to immediate execution by Dan and his wife Bell. Bell was even more hostile towards the cat than her husband. Just then, Tom’s friend the weaver happened to arrive on the scene. After hearing what had happened and what was about to unfold, he pleaded passionately for his little friend's life and even threatened legal consequences; but Dan was unforgiving. Tom would die, he said, even if it meant facing the consequences himself. He “killed” the cat by repeatedly smashing the sack against the gable wall of his own house. “He’s quiet enough now,” Dan said.

“Make siccar,” said Bell; and she commenced hitting Tom with the spade she had brought to dig his grave.

“Make sure,” said Bell; and she started hitting Tom with the spade she had brought to dig his grave.

“You ugly black brute,” she cried; “you’ll steal nae mair eggs in this warld.”

“You ugly black brute,” she yelled; “you won’t be stealing any more eggs in this world.”

Dan then threw the sack over his shoulders, and accompanied by his wife as grave-digger, and Archie the weaver as chief mourner, they proceeded to the garden to bury the unfortunate Tom. A grave was dug at the foot of a gooseberry bush, and Dan opening the mouth of the sack,[Pg 86] proceeded to shake out the mangled remains of the cat. You may judge of the chagrin and disgust of Dan and his cruel Bell, when those same mangled remains no sooner touched the ground, than they got together again somehow, and springing out of the grave, made their way like greased lightning out of the garden and off. The tables were turned. Dan was chief mourner now.

Dan then threw the sack over his shoulders, and with his wife as the grave-digger and Archie the weaver as the chief mourner, they headed to the garden to bury the unfortunate Tom. They dug a grave at the foot of a gooseberry bush, and as Dan opened the sack, [Pg 86] he began to shake out the mangled remains of the cat. You can imagine the shock and disgust of Dan and his cruel Bell when those very remains touched the ground and somehow gathered themselves together again, springing out of the grave and racing out of the garden like greased lightning. The tables had turned. Now Dan was the chief mourner.

“Curse the cat!” he roared.

"Curse the cat!" he shouted.

Dan’s wife was equal to the occasion.

Dan's wife rose to the occasion.

“You’re a fool, gudeman,” she said,—and indeed, he did not look much unlike one,—“the cat’s the deevil, and you can fill in the grave yersel’.”

“You're an idiot, good man,” she said—and he really didn’t look much different from one—“the cat is the devil, and you can dig your own grave.”

 

 


CHAPTER X.

[See Note J, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

NOMADISM IN CATS.

Cat Nomadism.

There are few, if any cats, that can withstand the temptation to occasionally roam abroad, and lead for a while the life of a gipsy puss. Perhaps pussy thinks she has as much right to her holiday, as master or mistress. Home life must at times grow monotonous and irksome, and a change no doubt highly desirable. Besides, cats are of a more social disposition among their species than dogs are. They like to meet and exchange ideas with their fellow cats. Night is the season almost invariably chosen for these social réunions. There is then more seclusion, and less likelihood of their being disturbed. They know that dogs stick closely at home after dark, and that little boys are sound asleep. By night, moreover, the voices of the gentlemen who give addresses are more easily heard. Everything else being so still, each inflection and intonation[Pg 88] of voice is beautifully distinct. It matters not that the nervous lady in No. 5. is kept awake till the close of the meeting, and can’t sleep a wink after that; that No. 3. can’t get her baby to sleep; or that No. 2. is writing a letter to the Times, and can’t follow out any single idea;—the concert in the back-garden of No. 4. goes on all the same. How sweetly that old tabby cat imitates the harmonies of a bass violin! How grandly that black Tom’s voice rises and swells, floats and soars, on the night breeze! How beautifully those five cats in the corner, are imitating the dulcet strains of the great highland bag-pipe! Three of them are told of as drones, the other two do the lilting, and the effect is quite startling. So at least thinks that old bachelor wretch in the two-pair back, who now throws open the window, and rains curses and cold water on the influential meeting, momentarily interrupting the flow of harmony. Only momentarily however.

There are few, if any, cats that can resist the urge to occasionally wander outside and experience life like a roaming cat. Perhaps the cat believes she deserves her holiday just as much as her owner does. Life at home can sometimes become dull and frustrating, and a change is definitely welcome. Plus, cats tend to be more social with their own kind than dogs are. They enjoy meeting and sharing ideas with other cats. Night is usually the time chosen for these social gatherings. There’s more privacy then, and less chance of being disturbed. They know that dogs stay close to home after dark, and that little boys are fast asleep. At night, the voices of the cats holding conversations are easier to hear. With everything else so quiet, every tone and inflection of their voices is perfectly clear. It doesn’t matter that the anxious lady in Apartment 5 is kept awake until the meeting ends and can’t sleep a wink afterward; that Apartment 3 can’t get her baby to settle down; or that Apartment 2 is trying to write a letter to the Times, struggling to focus on a single thought — the concert in the back garden of Apartment 4 continues regardless. How sweetly that old tabby cat mimics the sounds of a bass violin! How magnificently that big black Tom’s voice rises, floats, and soars on the night breeze! How beautifully those five cats in the corner imitate the lovely notes of the great highland bagpipes! Three of them play the drones, while the other two create the melody, and the effect is quite astonishing. That’s at least what the old bachelor in the second-floor back apartment thinks as he throws open the window and showers curses and cold water on the important gathering, momentarily interrupting the flow of harmony. But only for a moment.

“Move on a garden or two,” suggests black Tom; “that old beast has no soul.”

“Check out a garden or two,” suggests Black Tom; “that old beast has no soul.”

 

STRIPED, or BROWN TABBY.
First Prize—Owned by Miss M. E. Moore.

STRIPED, or BROWN TABBY.
First Prize—Owned by Miss M.E. Moore.

 

RED TABBY.
First Prize—Owned by Miss Forshall.

Red Tabby.
First Prize—Owned by Miss Forshall.

 

[Pg 89]And the concert goes on as before.

[Pg 89]And the concert continues just like before.

Cats are republicans of the rubiest red. Communism is rampant in their ranks; and indeed, they seem to thrive on it. In our day, we hope communism will always be confined to the cats. There is no respect of persons shown among cats. One cat is as good as another; and the sharpest claw and the strongest arm rules supreme for the time. Beauty, rank, and breeding are alike despised. At pussy’s balls and assemblies, there is no such officer as master of ceremonies. Any gentleman may introduce himself to any lady, he chooses, provided always she does not spit in his face, and box his ears; for, in this way, the lady never hesitates to express disapprobation of her partner. In so outspoken a community, boredom is thus practically done away with, and there is a freedom from all affectation which is highly refreshing. There you may see my Lord Tom-noddy, whose noble form rests by day on a tiger-skin mat by a sea-coal fire, whispering, nay, rather howling, soft nothings in the ears of Miss Pussy Black-leg, whose mistress keeps a marine[Pg 90] store, at Wapping Old-stairs, and sits up nightly to “wait for Jack.” Yet no one can doubt the genuineness of his lordship’s proposals, who marks his earnest manner, or listens to the impassioned tones of his voice as he beseeches her to

Cats are the most loyal of republicans. Communism is everywhere among them, and they seem to thrive on it. In our time, we hope communism will always remain exclusive to cats. They show no favoritism; one cat is just as good as another, with the sharpest claw and the strongest paw holding power for the moment. Looks, social status, and pedigree are all disregarded. At cat gatherings and events, there’s no master of ceremonies. Any cat can introduce themselves to any other cat they choose, as long as she doesn’t spit in his face or swat his ears, since a lady never hesitates to show her disapproval of a partner that way. In such an outspoken community, boredom simply doesn’t exist, and the lack of pretense is incredibly refreshing. There you can find my Lord Tom-noddy, whose noble form lounges by day on a tiger-skin mat next to a coal fire, whispering—no, howling—sweet nothings into the ears of Miss Pussy Black-leg, whose owner runs a marine[Pg 90] store at Wapping Old-stairs and stays up late to “wait for Jack.” Yet no one can question the sincerity of his lordship’s proposals, noting his earnest demeanor or listening to the passionate tones of his voice as he implores her to

Fly, fil-ly with him now, ne-ow-w.

Fly, filly with him now, meow.

The young and beautiful Lady Lovelace, with fur so long and white, and softer than eider-down, with eyes of himmel-blue, who sleeps all day on a cushion of scarlet, and sips her creamy milk from a china saucer, is yonder in a corner, flirting with the coal-heaver’s Bob. Bob’s ears are rent in ribbons, his face is seamed with bloody scars, he is lame, his fur nearly all singed off, and he has only one eye and half a tail; but his voice, that is what has won the heart of the young beauty; and when the ball is over he will convey her home in the moonlight to her splendid mansion in Belgravia—he himself will be content with an hour’s nod in the coal cellar. The pretty pussy’s mistress is anxiously waiting for her darling, and will not sleep till she comes. But witness this lady-cat’s slyness;[Pg 91] she kisses Bob fondly on the top of the conservatory, then with bushy tail and fur erect, she springs to the bedroom window, and enters growling, and casting frightened glances behind her, and her doating mistress caresses her gently, and tries to calm her fears. “And did the nasty Tom-cat follow my litsy prettsy darling, then? And was it nearly frightened out of its bootiful, tootiful lifie? Ah! pussy, now, then, now.”

The young and beautiful Lady Lovelace, with her long white fur that’s softer than down, and her sky-blue eyes, spends her days sleeping on a scarlet cushion and sipping creamy milk from a china saucer. She’s over there in the corner, flirting with the coal miner’s Bob. Bob has torn ears, a face marked with scars, a limp, fur that’s almost all burned off, only one eye, and half a tail; but it’s his voice that’s captured the heart of the young beauty. After the ball, he’ll take her home in the moonlight to her grand mansion in Belgravia, while he’ll be happy with just a quick nap in the coal cellar. The pretty kitty’s owner is nervously waiting for her beloved and won’t sleep until she returns. But just look at this clever cat; she gives Bob a sweet kiss on top of the conservatory, and then, with her bushy tail raised and fur on end, she jumps to the bedroom window, coming in growling and looking back nervously. Her loving owner gently pets her, trying to soothe her fears. “Did that nasty Tom-cat follow my little pretty darling? Was she almost scared out of her beautiful little life? Ah! Pussy, now, then, now.”

Sly, sly puss. Is slyness confined to the cat creation, or is it ever found among females of a higher persuasion—female women to wit?

Sly, sly cat. Is slyness exclusive to cats, or can it also be found among women of a higher status—specifically, women?

Cats are remarkably fond of comfort, and when the usages of society compel her to be up all night at a ball or concert, she goes to bed immediately after breakfast, and sleeps off every vestige of fatigue.

Cats are really into comfort, and when social obligations force them to stay up all night at a party or concert, they go to bed right after breakfast and sleep off all their tiredness.

I knew a cat that used to travel over six miles every other day to visit and have a gossip with another cat for which she had contracted a violent fancy. They were both lady-cats; but, strange to say, I never saw the other cat return the visit.

I knew a cat that would travel over six miles every other day to visit and chat with another cat she had fallen head over heels for. They were both female cats; however, oddly enough, I never saw the other cat make the trip in return.

[Pg 92]Cats will often make almost incredibly long journeys, and endure fatigue and hardships innumerable in order to find a lost master or mistress.

[Pg 92]Cats often go through astonishingly long trips, enduring countless challenges and exhaustion just to find their lost owner.

One cat I know travelled nearly a hundred miles into Wales, in search of her master, who had gone and left her. She had been three weeks on the journey, and when success at last crowned her efforts, she was so weak and emaciated, that she tumbled down with a fond cry at her master’s feet.

One cat I know traveled almost a hundred miles into Wales, looking for her owner, who had left her behind. She had spent three weeks on the journey, and when she finally found him, she was so weak and thin that she collapsed with a loving cry at her owner’s feet.

The difficulty of “wandering” cats is well known. You may “wander” a dog easily; but not pussy, for if so inclined, she will assuredly find her way back somehow at some time.

The trouble with "wandering" cats is widely recognized. You can easily "wander" a dog, but not a cat, because if a cat wants to, it will definitely find its way back eventually.

You may shut her up in a basket or bag and take her for miles through the most intricate streets, or over a covered country; but in all probability she will be back in a day or two, if indeed you do not find her on the door step on your return.

You can put her in a basket or bag and carry her for miles through the most complicated streets, or across a covered area; but chances are she’ll be back in a day or two, or you might even find her waiting on your doorstep when you get home.

A gentleman in the neighbourhood of London, before going to reside in the city gave his cat away to a friend. Two years after[Pg 93] she turned up at his city residence; and although very thin and impoverished, manifested great joy on seeing her old master. Whether or not the party to whom the cat had been presented had come to live in London, and brought the cat with him, I do not know; but the story is a fact. Moreover, the cat could not have been taken back on purpose, as she came by the tiles.

A man living near London, before moving to the city, gave his cat to a friend. Two years later[Pg 93], she showed up at his new home; and although she looked very thin and haggard, she was incredibly happy to see her old owner. I don’t know if the person he gave the cat to moved to London and brought her along, but this story is true. Also, the cat couldn’t have been brought back intentionally, as she arrived by way of the roof.

There can be no longer any doubt, that pussy possesses some power or instinct which enables her to find her way back, ever so far, to the place where she has once resided, and that too unerringly. We cannot pretend to understand this, any more than we can the principle that guides the carrier pigeon; but true it is, “there are more things in heaven and earth than we dream of in our philosophy.”

There is no longer any doubt that a cat has some power or instinct that allows her to find her way back, no matter how far, to the place where she once lived, and she does it with incredible accuracy. We can't pretend to understand this, just like we can't fully grasp the principles that guide carrier pigeons; but it's true that "there are more things in heaven and earth than we can dream of in our philosophy."

 

 


CHAPTER XI.

[See Note K, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

“IS CATS TO BE TRUSTED?”

"Are cats trustworthy?"

Is cats to be trusted?” was to have been the title of an essay from the pen of poor Artemus Ward. “Is cats to be trusted?” my starling has been taught to repeat, and often does so while running round the cat on the floor, examining her tail, opening up her paws with his beak, and occasionally making determined attempts to open up her nose also, and peep down her throat. As far as she is concerned, the bird is I think perfectly safe; for although she often pats him with her gloved hand when he gets too insinuating, she never otherwise attempts to molest him. I fear in his essay Artemus meant to have had a few jokes at pussy’s expense. My aim is a more serious one. A question like this, which to pussy is a most momentous one, affecting not only her comfort and happiness, but her standing as a social pet and her very existence itself, cannot be treated lightly in a work like[Pg 95] the present. My own opinion is, and always has been, that if cats are properly fed and cared for, they will do anything rather than steal. But not content with giving my own experience, which some might say was exceptional, I have placed pussy in court, as it were, and given her a long, fair, and impartial trial, summoning evidence pro and con from every part of Great Britain and Ireland. The trial has lasted for months, and the Tichborne Case, as a Yankee would say, isn’t a circumstance to it in regard to the number of witnesses examined. The judgment has been overwhelmingly in pussy’s favour, and the verdict of the jury as follows:—

Are cats to be trusted?” was supposed to be the title of an essay by poor Artemus Ward. “Are cats to be trusted?” my starling has learned to say, and he often repeats it while darting around the cat on the floor, inspecting her tail, prying open her paws with his beak, and sometimes making determined attempts to poke into her nose and peep down her throat. As for her, I think the bird is perfectly safe; although she often pats him with her gloved hand when he gets too friendly, she never otherwise tries to bother him. I’m afraid Artemus intended to make a few jokes at the cat's expense in his essay. My purpose is more serious. A question like this, which is extremely important to the cat, affecting not just her comfort and happiness but her status as a social pet and her very existence, can't be treated lightly in a work like[Pg 95] this. My opinion has always been that if cats are well-fed and cared for, they’ll do anything but steal. However, rather than just sharing my own experience, which some might consider exceptional, I’ve put the cat on trial, so to speak, and given her a long, fair, and impartial hearing, gathering evidence for and against from all over Great Britain and Ireland. The trial has gone on for months, and the Tichborne Case, as a Yankee would say, doesn’t compare when it comes to the number of witnesses examined. The judgment has overwhelmingly favored the cat, and the jury’s verdict is as follows:—

Cats are not as a rule thieves, but quite the reverse.

Cats aren't usually thieves; they're quite the opposite.

In every case investigated, where the theft was proved, it turned out that the cat was either starved, or illtreated, or spoiled. Moreover, the witnesses for the prosecution—in the minority—were, to use a homely phrase, a foggy lot, rude and illiterate, people with no definite ideas about their “h’s,” whose capitals were sown broadcast, who wrote[Pg 96] “i Know,” and spelt cat with a “k”; while those for the defence were in every way the reverse, both socially and orthographically; people with crests and monograms, who wrote on one side of the paper only, and all letters prepaid.

In every case investigated where the theft was proven, it turned out that the cat had either been starved, mistreated, or spoiled. Furthermore, the prosecution's witnesses—who were in the minority—were, to put it bluntly, a confusing bunch, rude and uneducated, people with no clear understanding of their “h’s,” whose capital letters were scattered everywhere, who wrote[Pg 96] “i Know,” and spelled cat with a “k”; while the defense witnesses were completely the opposite, both socially and in writing style; people with family crests and monograms, who wrote only on one side of the paper, and all their letters were prepaid.

So Miss Puss I think may stand down: she leaves the court without a stain upon her character.

So Miss Puss, I think she can take a step back: she leaves the court with her reputation intact.

Now, while boldly asserting that cats are as a rule honest, I do not mean to say that all are so. There are rogues among cats as well as among men; but just as we find that the law often makes men thieves, so likewise will cats become thieves if badly treated. What can be more disgraceful than the habit that some people have of systematically starving their cats, under the mistaken notion that they will thus become better mousers; or the custom of many of putting their cats out all night, no matter how wet or cold the night should be. Such treatment of pussy is greatly to be condemned, and only tends to foster habits of uncleanliness, of thieving, and of prowling. By regular[Pg 97] feeding, good housing, occasional judicious correction—when puss is found tripping—and kindness, you may make almost any cat honest.

Now, while confidently saying that cats are usually honest, I don’t mean to suggest that all of them are. There are dishonest cats just like there are dishonest people; but just as we see that the law often turns people into thieves, cats can also become thieves if they’re mistreated. What could be more shameful than the way some people consistently starve their cats, thinking it will help them catch more mice? Or the many who leave their cats outside all night, regardless of how wet or cold it is? Such treatment of cats is very wrong and only encourages bad habits like uncleanliness, stealing, and roaming. With regular feeding, proper shelter, occasional gentle discipline—when the cat misbehaves—and kindness, you can make almost any cat behave well.

Pussy does not soon forget having been corrected for a fault.

Pussy doesn't forget quickly when she's been corrected for a mistake.

Black Tom, mentioned in a former chapter, never went back to Dan’s hen-house again.

Black Tom, mentioned in a previous chapter, never returned to Dan's henhouse again.

A Tom-cat, called Bruce, lived some years ago, at a farm-house near Dundee. This cat—honest in every other way—could never resist the temptation to steal the cream. All efforts to cure him of this habit were resorted to in vain. But one day, Bruce, much to his own satisfaction found himself shut up in the milk-house. When all was quiet, Bruce came from his corner and had a look round. What a grand and imposing array of basins of milk and tubs-full of cream! One of the latter stood on a table beneath the window, the edge of the tub being on a level with the sill. It was the largest tub in the room; and blessing his luck, up jumped Bruce and began to lick. It was so delicious, and Bruce closed his eyes to get the full[Pg 98] flavour of it. Just then, however, some noise outside startled him,—he knew he was sinning, and was consequently nervous,—and in turning round, he missed his feet, and fell heels over head into the tub. Although half-choked, so soon as he came up, Bruce struck out boldly for the shore, but the sides of the vessel were too slippery even for a cat to hold on to; besides, the weight of the cream clogged his movements. He would fain not have screamed, but death stared him in the face, and the idea of dying in a tub of milk, as he had seen mice die, was awful; so he opened his mouth and gave vent to a smothered yell. That yell, loud-resounding through the house, brought “ben” the good-wife, and Bruce’s life was saved at the expense of about three pints of cream; but never more did that cat go near the milk-house. He was a reformed cat from that day; a burning and a shining light to all the cats in the country-side.

A tomcat named Bruce lived several years ago at a farmhouse near Dundee. This cat—honest in every other way—could never resist the temptation to steal cream. All attempts to break him of this habit were in vain. One day, Bruce found himself shut in the milk house, much to his own satisfaction. When everything was quiet, he came out from his corner to look around. What a grand display of basins filled with milk and tubs overflowing with cream! One of the tubs was on a table beneath the window, perfectly positioned at the sill level. It was the biggest tub in the room; feeling lucky, Bruce jumped up and started licking. It was so delicious that he closed his eyes to savor it fully. Just then, however, a noise outside startled him—he knew he was being naughty, and that made him nervous—and as he turned around, he lost his balance and toppled headfirst into the tub. Although he was half-choked, as soon as he resurfaced, Bruce tried to paddle towards the edge, but the sides of the tub were too slippery even for a cat to grip, plus the weight of the cream restricted his movements. He really didn’t want to scream, but with death staring him in the face, the thought of drowning in a tub of milk, just like he had seen mice do, was awful; so he opened his mouth and let out a muffled yell. That yell echoed throughout the house, bringing “Ben,” the good wife, to rescue him, saving Bruce’s life but costing about three pints of cream. From that day on, that cat never went near the milk house again. He became a reformed cat, serving as a shining example to all the other cats in the countryside.

I know a cat—a Tom, as usual—who always sits on his master’s counter, surrounded by provisions of all sorts, but he[Pg 99] was never known to steal. This cat has a penchant for pickled herrings; and although he might easily help himself by day or night, he always prefers asking his master for one. This he accomplishes in the usual cat fashion, by running towards the barrel and mewing up in his master’s face; and of course this appeal is never made in vain.

I know a cat—a Tom, as usual—who always sits on his owner's counter, surrounded by all kinds of food, but he[Pg 99] has never been known to steal. This cat loves pickled herring; and even though he could easily help himself any time, he always prefers to ask his owner for one. He does this in the typical cat way, by running over to the barrel and meowing up in his owner's face; and of course, this request is never ignored.

Cats are remarkably fond of fish. The other day, a bonnie fishwife was standing on the pavement with her creel on her back. Suddenly she was heard to scream aloud. “For the love o’ the Lord, sir,” she cried to a bystander, “tell me what’s that on my back.” The party addressed looked about, just in time to see a pussy disappearing round a corner, with a large fish in its mouth. That was what the newspapers would call an impudent theft, and it was certainly a clever one.

Cats really love fish. The other day, a cheerful fishmonger was standing on the sidewalk with her basket on her back. Suddenly, she let out a loud scream. “Oh my goodness, sir,” she called to a passerby, “can you tell me what's on my back?” The person she spoke to looked around just in time to see a cat darting around a corner with a big fish in its mouth. That would definitely be called a bold theft by the newspapers, and it was certainly a clever one.

If not properly trained and cared for, pussy comes—like the Ladrone islanders—to look upon stealing as a virtue; and no wonder, for she must think it hard to starve in the midst of plenty, and in her master’s[Pg 100] house. Besides, there is always two ways of viewing a matter. Out on the coast of Africa, I have often gone on shore—for the fun of the thing—with a party of other officers, to assist in replenishing our larder by the addition of a few fat fowls, a sucking grunter, or a kid of the goats. I rather think we stole them; but we called these little trips, “cutting-out expeditions;” still we swore “’pon honour,” and wore our swords none the less clankingly on a Sunday morning; nor would it have been safe for any one to have hinted that we were dishonest.

If not properly trained and cared for, a cat can, like the Ladrone islanders, view stealing as a good thing; and it's no surprise, considering she must find it difficult to go hungry when there's plenty around her, especially in her owner's[Pg 100] house. Besides, there are always two sides to a situation. When I was on the coast of Africa, I often went ashore—for fun—with a group of other officers to help stock up our food supply with a few plump chickens, a piglet, or a young goat. Honestly, I think we stole them; but we called these outings "cutting-out expeditions." Still, we swore “on our honor” and wore our swords just as loudly on Sunday mornings; and no one would have dared to suggest we were being dishonest.

Just so with poor pussy. She is often tempted by hunger to make a little reprisal. It is vulgar to accuse her of stealing the steak, nailing a fish, or boning a cold chicken, “cutting-out,” is the proper term. It is a feline virtue, from the path of which she must be seduced in early kitten-hood, and by good treatment. But poor pussy is often made the scape-goat for the sins of others.

Just like that with the poor kitty. She’s often driven by hunger to take a little revenge. It’s rude to call her a thief for snatching a steak, grabbing a fish, or picking at a cold chicken; “cutting out” is the right term. It’s a cat’s nature, and she needs to be guided away from it when she’s a young kitten, usually by being treated well. But poor kitty often gets blamed for the wrongdoings of others.

“Mary, bring up those cold pigeons.”

“Mary, bring up those cold pigeons.”

“O ma’am! how ever shall I tell you? That thief of a cat—”

“O ma’am! how ever am I going to tell you? That thief of a cat—”

[Pg 101]“The cat must be drowned,” says her mistress.

[Pg 101]“The cat has to be drowned,” says her owner.

“Oh, no, ma’am! Poor thing! no, ma’am.”

“Oh, no, ma'am! Poor thing! No, ma'am.”

It wouldn’t exactly suit Mary’s book to have pussy drowned. It would seriously interfere with those nice little suppers, she is in the habit of having with Matilda Jane.

It wouldn't really work for Mary's book to have a cat drowned. It would seriously mess with those nice little dinners she usually has with Matilda Jane.

“Sarah, we’ll have the remains of that cold lamb for supper.”

“Sarah, we’ll have the leftover cold lamb for dinner.”

“Oh! dear me, ma’am; I forgot to tell you, the cat has eaten every bit of it. Can open the pantry-door, just like you or I, ma’am.”

“Oh! my goodness, ma’am; I forgot to mention, the cat has eaten it all. It can open the pantry door, just like you or I, ma’am.”

I should think it could; the cat in this case being an enormous blue Tom tabby, with a stripe round one forearm, and a belt about his waist, and X 99 on the collar of his coat.

I think it could; the cat in this case is a huge blue tabby tom with a stripe around one forearm and a belt around his waist, with X 99 on the collar of his coat.

The following is the story of a real feline Jack Sheppard, I have no excuse to offer for this cat; I can only say that if he was a thief, he was a swell at it.

The following is the story of a real cat, Jack Sheppard. I have no excuses for this cat; I can only say that if he was a thief, he was a natural at it.

In a sweet little village not far from the famous old town of bonnie Dundee, lived, and I believe still lives, Peter McFarlane, a shoemaker, and his wife Tibbie; two as[Pg 102] decent old bodies as you would see in all broad Scotland. They were honest and industrious, and, as a rule, agreed, or as the folks say, they both “said one way,” except when Peter took a dram, when, it must be confessed, the ashes did at times find their way up the chimney along with the smoke. They had no family but one,—a cat. A fine gentlemanly fellow he was too; dressed in the blackest of fur, and faultless to a degree, barring that he was the biggest thief ever known in the village, or whole country-side. Every one complained of Tom; and, as he got older, his delinquencies were ever on the increase. Allowing thieving to be a virtue among cats of his class, Tom was a saint, and ripe for glory long ago. The butcher, do what he liked, could not save his kidneys,—it was remarkable that Tom never touched the sausages,—he was always content with kidneys, although if none were to be had, to pussy’s honour be it said, he did not despise a lump of steak or even a nice lamb chop. Tom was a regular customer[Pg 103] at the fish-monger’s; his weakness here being for Loch Fyne herrings,—they were handy; but he delighted also in the centre cut of a salmon, and in half-pound sea-trout. It has even been said, that Tom did not share his custom equally among the shop-keepers, spending too much of his time at the fish-monger’s counter; but, as his biographer, I must defend his name from any such allegation. Although it must be admitted he never paid ready-money, still he was never too proud to carry away his purchase. Tom used to enter the poor people’s houses about dinner-time, watch his chance, and purloin the meat from under their very noses. Once he lifted the lid from a broth-pot, and decamped with the boiling chicken. This cat was never known to drink water when he could find a milk-pan; nor milk, either, if the cream-jug was at all handy. He was even accused of having sucked the cows; and when hard pressed with hunger, he did not despise a piece of cheese or a tallow candle from the grocer’s round the corner. He never[Pg 104] troubled himself catching mice,—chickens came handier; and tame pigeons he found were more satisfying than sparrows. Tom could break in or out of any place, climb anything, and jump—the neighbours all said—“the d——l’s height;” I don’t know how tall that gentleman is at Dundee, but he must be over twenty feet, for Tom could do that easily, and alight on his pumps. At long-last the cat became so notorious, and the outcry against him so loud and universal, that the shoemaker and Tibbie, yielding to the entreaties of the villagers, resolved to have him drowned.

In a charming little village not far from the well-known old town of lovely Dundee, there lived—and I believe still lives—Peter McFarlane, a shoemaker, and his wife Tibbie; two of the most decent people you’d find in all of Scotland. They were honest and hardworking, and usually got along well, or as people say, they both “thought alike,” except when Peter had a drink, when it must be admitted that the smoke sometimes carried a few ashes up the chimney. They had no family except for one— a cat. He was quite the gentleman; dressed in the blackest fur and flawless, except he was the biggest thief the village—or maybe even the whole countryside—had ever seen. Everyone complained about Tom, and as he got older, his stealing only increased. If thieving is a virtue among cats of his kind, Tom was a saint long ago. The butcher, no matter what he tried, could never keep his kidneys safe—remarkably, Tom never touched the sausages—he was always happy with kidneys, but if those weren’t available, to his credit, he didn’t turn down a chunk of steak or even a nice lamb chop. Tom was a regular customer at the fishmonger’s; he had a particular weakness for Loch Fyne herrings—they were easy to grab; but he also loved the center cut of salmon and half-pound sea-trout. It’s been said that Tom didn’t spread his business evenly among the shopkeepers, spending too much time at the fishmonger’s counter; but as his biographer, I must defend his reputation against such claims. Even though he never paid cash, he was never too proud to take his haul. Tom would stroll into poor people’s homes around dinnertime, wait for the right moment, and steal food right under their noses. Once, he lifted the lid off a pot of broth and ran off with a boiling chicken. This cat was never seen drinking water when there was a milk jug around; he wouldn’t touch milk either if cream was available. He was even accused of sucking on the cows, and when he was really starving, he wouldn’t hesitate to grab a piece of cheese or a tallow candle from the grocery store nearby. He never bothered with catching mice—chickens were much easier; and he found tame pigeons far more satisfying than sparrows. Tom could sneak in or out of anywhere, climb anything, and jump—neighbors all said—“the devil’s height;” I can’t say how tall that gentleman is in Dundee, but he must be over twenty feet because Tom could easily do that and land on his feet. Eventually, the cat became so infamous, and the complaints against him so loud and widespread, that the shoemaker and Tibbie, succumbing to the villagers' pleas, decided to have him drowned.

On a cold winter’s night, then, honest Peter and three of the neighbours might have been seen—had there been light enough to see them—trudging along towards the pier, with the unhappy but virtuous Tom in a sack. Arrived at the place of execution, a consultation was held as to how the job should be done. There wasn’t a stone to be had, and Peter said he wasn’t going to lose his sack; it was bad enough to lose the cat; so it was resolved to take[Pg 105] Tom out and swing him clear off into the water. More easily said than done. Tom was no sooner out of the bag, than by a successful application of tooth and nail, he wriggled himself free, and in a moment more was lost in the darkness. Peter scratched his head, the neighbours scratched their three heads, and they all felt funny and foolish. They determined however not to make laughing-stocks of themselves, so they returned to Peter’s house with the joyful intelligence, that Tom was a cat of the past.

On a cold winter night, honest Peter and three of the neighbors might have been seen—if there had been enough light—making their way to the pier, with the unfortunate but good Tom in a sack. When they arrived at the execution spot, they had a discussion about how to carry out the task. There wasn’t a stone to be found, and Peter said he wasn’t going to lose his sack; it was bad enough to lose the cat. So they decided to take[Pg 105] Tom out and toss him into the water. Easier said than done. No sooner was Tom out of the bag than, thanks to his teeth and claws, he wriggled free and vanished into the darkness. Peter scratched his head, the neighbors scratched their heads, and they all felt silly and foolish. However, they decided they didn’t want to make fools of themselves, so they returned to Peter’s house with the cheerful news that Tom was a cat of the past.

Here were the fishwife and the milkwife, and the grocer and his wife, and the butcher—who hadn’t a wife, all assembled to hear the good news; and it was unanimously resolved to celebrate the event by making a night of it; and, although the people of Dundee and round-about are generally glad of any excuse to make a night of it, still it must be admitted that the present occasion urgently called for “cakes and whuskey.” So the fishwife brought salmon, the milkwife brought milk,[Pg 106] the butcher brought steak, and the grocer whiskey galore; Tibbie with her best new mutch did the cooking, and they all sat down to eat and to drink and be merry. No Indian villagers, just released from the dominion of a man-eating tiger, could have felt jollier than did those good folks at the thoughts of thieving Tom’s demise.

Here were the fishwife and the milkwife, the grocer and his wife, and the butcher—who didn’t have a wife—all gathered to hear the good news; and everyone agreed to celebrate by making it a night to remember. While the people of Dundee and the surrounding area are usually eager for any reason to party, this particular event definitely called for “cakes and whiskey.” So the fishwife brought salmon, the milkwife brought milk,[Pg 106] the butcher brought steak, and the grocer brought plenty of whiskey; Tibbie, wearing her best new bonnet, handled the cooking, and they all sat down to eat, drink, and be merry. No Indian villagers, just freed from a man-eating tiger, could have felt happier than those folks at the thought of thieving Tom's downfall.

“May the deil gang wi’ him,” was one of the toasts to Tom’s memory.

“May the devil go with him,” was one of the toasts to Tom’s memory.

“And a’ the ill-weather,” was another.

"And all the bad weather," was another.

“If there be,” said the fishwife, “an ill-place for the souls o’ cats, that black beast ’ll hae a hot neuk in’t.”

“If there is,” said the fishwife, “a bad place for the souls of cats, that black beast will have a hot spot in it.”

“Ay, but,” said the grocer,—a godly man and an elder of the Free Church,—“speak nae ill o’ the dead, Eppie, but pass the whuskey, and I’ll gie ye a bit sang.” He sung the death of Heather Jock, which was by no means inappropriate.

“Ay, but,” said the grocer—a good man and an elder of the Free Church—“don’t speak ill of the dead, Eppie, but pass the whiskey, and I’ll give you a song.” He sang the death of Heather Jock, which was definitely fitting.

“And so the nicht drave on wi’ sangs and clatter,” and the fingers of old Peter’s eight-day clock were creeping slowly towards “the wee short hour ayont the twal,” when,—

“And so the night went on with songs and chatter,” and the hands of old Peter’s eight-day clock were slowly moving towards “the little short hour past twelve,” when,—

[Pg 107]“Well, neighbours,” says Peter, the hypocrite, “we’re a’ glad the cat has gane we a’ his weight o’ crime on his sinfu’ shou’ders. Let us eat that last pound o’ steak, finish the bottle, and gang to bed.”

[Pg 107]“Well, neighbors,” says Peter, the hypocrite, “we’re all glad the cat has taken off with all his weight of crime on his sinful shoulders. Let’s eat that last pound of steak, finish the bottle, and head to bed.”

“There is many a slip ’twixt the cup and the lip;” and scarcely had Peter done speaking, when the door opened, apparently of its own accord. The cold night-wind blew in with a ghostly sough, and the candles were extinguished. But lo! on the table, in their very midst, and dimly seen by the smouldering firelight, stood Tom himself, with back erect and gleaming eyes. Never was such kicking and screaming heard anywhere. The fishwife fainted, and the milkwife fainted, and the godly grocer and his wife fainted, and the butcher—who hadn’t a wife at all, fell down on top of the others, for company’s sake. But Peter and the three guilty neighbours stood in a corner—dumb. When order was at length restored, and the candles re-lit, the old shoemaker told his true version of the story, and was very properly forgiven. But where was[Pg 108] Tom? Tom was gone, and so was the beef steak! And from that day to this, never again was Tom heard of in that sweet little village near bonnie Dundee.

“There are many things that can go wrong between the cup and the lip;” and hardly had Peter finished speaking when the door opened, seemingly on its own. The cold night wind blew in with a ghostly sound, and the candles went out. But look! On the table, right in the middle, and dimly illuminated by the dying firelight, stood Tom himself, with his back straight and eyes shining. Never was there such kicking and screaming heard anywhere. The fishwife fainted, the milkwife fainted, the pious grocer and his wife fainted, and the butcher—who didn’t have a wife at all—fell down on top of the others, just for company. But Peter and the three guilty neighbors stood in the corner—silent. When order was finally restored and the candles were relit, the old shoemaker shared his true version of the story and was justly forgiven. But where was[Pg 108] Tom? Tom was gone, and so was the beef steak! And from that day on, Tom was never heard of again in that charming little village near bonnie Dundee.

That cat was a thief.

That cat is a thief.

 

 


CHAPTER XII.

[See Note L, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

PUSSY AS A MOTHER.

CAT AS A MOM.

A careful and fond mother is our pussy-cat. In no case is her wisdom and sagacity better exhibited than in the love and care she displays for her offspring. Weeks before the interesting event comes off, pussy has been “upstairs and downstairs and in the lady’s chamber,” looking for the snuggest corner or the cosiest closet in which to bring forth her young. In this matter different cats have different opinions. Some prefer a feather-bed when they can manage it, some a bundle of rags, some an old newspaper or humble straw, while others believe the acme of comfort is to lie inside a lady’s bonnet or a gentleman’s wig. Wherever pussy has chosen to have her kittens, there in that room or closet she prefers to nurse them, and should they and she be removed to another she will persist in carrying her offspring back to the old place, however[Pg 110] comfortable the new bed may be. This proves that pussy like human beings of the same gender has a will of her own.

A loving and attentive mother is our cat. Her wisdom and insight shine through in the way she cares for her kittens. Weeks before the big day, she’s been exploring every nook and cranny, looking for the coziest spot to have her babies. Different cats have different preferences. Some like a soft feather bed when they can find one, some prefer a pile of rags, others a newspaper or some humble straw. Some even think the best place is inside a lady’s hat or a gentleman’s wig. Wherever she decides to have her kittens, that’s where she wants to nurse them, and even if they’re moved to another spot, she’ll keep trying to bring them back to the original place, no matter how comfortable the new spot might be. This shows that just like humans, cats have their own will.

I know an instance of a cat, whose kittens were removed by her master from the attic in which they were born, to a snug little berth in the barn. The cottage doors were closed against her, but Mrs. Puss was not to be balked, and next morning found her and her family comfortably re-ensconced in the old quarters: during the night she had smashed the attic sky-light, and carried her kittens through one by one. Pussy gained her point and was happy.

I know a story about a cat whose owner took her kittens from the attic where they were born and moved them to a cozy spot in the barn. The cottage doors were shut against her, but that didn’t stop Mrs. Puss. By the next morning, she and her kittens were happily settled back in the old place. During the night, she had broken the attic skylight and carried each kitten back one at a time. Pussy got what she wanted and was happy.

I know a lady whose cat has had a litter of one kitten. It is her first, and if she had produced ten she could not possibly be prouder of the performance. It is amusing to watch the care and affection she bestows on her “ae, ae bairn.”[2] Her whole heart—I was nearly saying “and soul”—seems bound up in it. She sits and studies it by the hour—no doubt it is its father’s image—dresses it at least a dozen[Pg 111] times a day, and whenever she has occasion to go out, she takes this miserable little object of her love, and rolls it carefully in the sofa tidy, so that it may neither catch cold nor come to harm.

I know a woman whose cat just had a litter of one kitten. It’s her first, and even if she had given birth to ten, she couldn't be prouder of it. It’s funny to see how much care and affection she shows her “ae, ae bairn.”[2] Her whole heart—I almost said “and soul”—seems to be wrapped up in it. She sits and studies it for hours—no doubt it looks just like its father—dresses it at least a dozen[Pg 111] times a day, and whenever she needs to go out, she carefully wraps this poor little creature in a sofa cover so that it doesn't catch cold or get hurt.

When a cat finds out that there is not proper room or convenience in her owner’s house for the proper rearing of her family, or that there is some chance of molestation or danger from the inmates, she never hesitates to go elsewhere for the event. She generally selects an out-house, or in the summer-time goes to the woods, but she never fails to return to her old abode, as soon as the kittens can take care of themselves.

When a cat realizes that there isn’t enough space or comfort in her owner’s home to raise her family, or if there’s a chance of disturbance or danger from the people in the house, she doesn’t hesitate to find another place to give birth. She usually opts for a shed or, during the summer, heads to the woods, but she always comes back to her old home once the kittens are able to look after themselves.

Mary is an old, old maid,—an old maid from choice so she tells me,—she could have been married if she had liked. “Mony a harum-scarum ne’er-do-weel,” says Mary, “came blethering about me when I was young and bonnie, but I ga’e them a’ their kail thro’ the reek, wi’ their calves’ faces and phrasing mou’s. Na, ne’er a man gave me a sair heart, and what’s mair never shall.”

Mary is an old maid—an old maid by choice, so she says—she could have gotten married if she wanted to. “Lots of reckless good-for-nothings,” says Mary, “came around me when I was young and pretty, but I sent them all packing with their foolish ways and cheesy lines. No man ever broke my heart, and what's more, no man ever will.”

I don’t suppose they ever will, for even[Pg 112] the probability of Mary’s having been once young seems mere tradition. Besides, Mary has centered all her earthly affections on her cat, and there is every likelihood that puss will live as long as she herself. The old lady apologises for loving it, on the ground that it is “So clean and clever, sir, and catches mice as easy as wink;” and whenever a dog barks on the street, she runs to see that her pet is safe.

I don’t think they ever will, because even[Pg 112] the idea of Mary having been young once seems like just a story. Plus, Mary has focused all her love on her cat, and it’s very likely that her cat will live as long as she does. The old lady apologizes for loving her cat, saying, “It’s so clean and smart, sir, and catches mice as easily as can be;” and whenever a dog barks outside, she rushes to make sure her pet is okay.

Some months ago this pussy gave evidence that she would soon become a mother. Now as the room in which poor Mary resides is only about twelve feet square, it was very evident there was but small accommodation for a decent cat’s accouchement. The same idea struck both pussy and her kind old mistress at the same time, and while Mary was busy going the round of her neighbours, seeking in vain for an asylum for her favourite, pussy was absent on the same errand, and apparently with more success, for she did not return. Mary was now indeed “a waefu’ woman,” for days and nights went past, and no tidings came of puss. Some[Pg 113] evil thing must have happened to her, thought the old lady. Perhaps she was shut up in some lonely outhouse and starving to death; or tumbled down a chimney; cruel boys may have stoned her or drowned her; cruel keepers may have trapped her, or, more likely still, that rieving rascal Rover may have worried her. He was just like the dog to do a deed of the kind, aye, and glory in it; at any rate, she should never see her more. Alack-a-day! and Mary’s tears fell thick and fast on the stocking she was knitting, till she even lost the loops, and couldn’t see to pick them up again. Marvel not, oh reader, at the old maid’s emotion, pussy was her “one ewe lamb,” her all she had in the world to love. And weeks went past, as weeks will, whether one’s in grief or not, and it was well into the middle of the third, and getting near evening, when lonesome Mary, cowering over her little fire, heard a voice which made her start and listen; she heard it again, and with her old heart bobbing for joy, she tottered to the door and admitted—her long lost favourite. Pussy had[Pg 114] no time for congratulations, she had a fine lively kitten in her mouth, which she carefully deposited in Mary’s bed, and made straight for the door again. She was back again in twenty minutes with another, which she gently put beside the first, then she went back for another, then another, then a fifth, and when she dropped the sixth and turned to go out again.

Some months ago, this cat showed signs that she would soon become a mother. Given that the room where poor Mary lived was only about twelve feet square, it was clear there wasn't enough space for a decent cat's delivery. Both the cat and her kind old owner had the same idea at the same time. While Mary was busy visiting her neighbors, trying in vain to find a place for her beloved pet, the cat was off doing the same and seemingly having more success, as she did not return. Mary was indeed “a sorrowful woman,” for days and nights went by without any news of the cat. The old lady thought that something terrible must have happened to her. Perhaps she was locked up in some lonely shed and starving; or maybe she fell down a chimney; cruel boys might have stoned her or drowned her; mean keepers may have trapped her, or, more likely, that troublesome rascal Rover may have scared her. He was just the type of dog to do something like that, yes, and take pride in it; either way, she thought she would never see her again. Alas! Mary's tears fell thick and fast onto the stocking she was knitting, to the point that she lost the loops and couldn’t see to pick them up again. Don’t be surprised, dear reader, at the old maid’s emotion; the cat was her “one precious lamb,” her everything in the world to love. Weeks went by, as they do, whether one is grieving or not, and it was well into the middle of the third week, approaching evening, when lonely Mary, huddled over her small fire, heard a sound that made her start and listen; she heard it again, and with her old heart leaping for joy, she stumbled to the door and let in—her long-lost favorite. The cat didn’t have time for celebrations; she had a lively kitten in her mouth, which she carefully placed in Mary’s bed before heading straight for the door again. She returned twenty minutes later with another one, gently placing it beside the first, then she went back for another, then another, and then a fifth, and when she dropped the sixth and turned to go out again.

“Lord keep us, Topsy,” said old Mary. “How mony mair is there? Are ye goin’ to board a’ the kits in the country on me?”

“Lord help us, Topsy,” said old Mary. “How many more are there? Are you going to bring all the kids in the country here to me?”

But the seventh was the last, and Topsy threw herself down beside the lot, and prepared to sing herself and them to sleep.

But the seventh was the last, and Topsy threw herself down next to the group, getting ready to sing herself and them to sleep.

It turned out that Mary’s cat had taken up her abode in a farmer’s hay-loft, fully half a mile from her owner’s house; but no one had seen her until the day she carried home her kittens. She had no doubt subsisted all the time on rats and mice, for she was in fine condition when she gladdened the old maid’s heart with her return.

It turned out that Mary’s cat had made its home in a farmer’s hayloft, half a mile from her owner’s house; but no one had seen her until the day she brought home her kittens. She had probably been living off rats and mice the whole time, as she was in great shape when she made the old maid happy with her return.

You may often observe that if two she-cats are living together, or in adjoining[Pg 115] houses, one always gets and retains the mastery over the other, until that other happens to be nursing, when she in her turn becomes mistress, and her companion is glad to give her a wide berth.

You might notice that when two female cats live together or in nearby houses, one usually takes control over the other and keeps that power, except when the other is nursing. In that case, she becomes the one in charge, and her companion is happy to keep her distance.

Cats will go through fire and water to save the life of their kittens, and fight to the bitter end to protect them. A dog will seldom dare to attack a cat while she is nursing her young. My own cat actually imposes the duties of dry nurse on my Newfoundland, “Theodore Nero.” His finely feathered legs make a delightful bed for them. He seems pleased with the trust too, and licks them all over with his tongue. In Muffie’s absence, he lies perfectly still, seemingly afraid to move lest he should hurt them. When they get a little older and more playful, they make tremendous onslaughts on his nose and ears and tail, which the honest fellow bears with the most exemplary patience, for he loves Muffie, although many a wild chase he gives her numerous lovers. He can’t bear “followers.”

Cats will go through anything to save their kittens and will fight fiercely to protect them. A dog hardly ever dares to attack a cat while she’s nursing her young. My cat even puts my Newfoundland, “Theodore Nero,” in charge of dry nursing. His fluffy legs make a cozy bed for them. He seems happy with the responsibility, too, licking them all over with his tongue. When Muffie isn’t around, he lies perfectly still, probably afraid to move and hurt them. As they get older and more playful, they launch wild attacks on his nose, ears, and tail, which he tolerates with amazing patience because he loves Muffie, even though he often has to chase away her many admirers. He can’t stand “followers.”

[Pg 116]The other day a playfellow of his, a large Irish water-spaniel, looked in at the door just to ask if he would come for a romp for an hour, as the sun was shining, the breakers running mountains high on the beach, and any number of little boys to throw in sticks to them. Theodore Nero was nursing. But Muffie went, and I should think that dog felt sorry he had ever turned out of bed at all that morning. The cat rode him at least fifty yards from her own door, battering him unmercifully all the way. Then she came back, and sang to Nero. Poor Coolin staggered down the road, half blinded with blood, and shaking his beautiful ears in a most pitiful manner; but his sorrows were only half over, for not seeing very well where he was running, he stumbled right upon a clucking hen and chickens. And she gave it to him next. If the cat warmed one end of him, she restored the equilibrium, and warmed the other; so true is it that misfortunes seldom come singly.

[Pg 116]The other day, one of his buddies, a big Irish water-spaniel, popped by the door just to see if he wanted to join for a romp for an hour since the sun was shining, the waves were crashing high on the beach, and there were plenty of little boys throwing sticks. Theodore Nero was nursing. But Muffie went, and I bet that dog regretted getting out of bed at all that morning. The cat rode him at least fifty yards from her door, beating him up mercilessly all the way. Then she came back and sang to Nero. Poor Coolin staggered down the road, half-blinded with blood, shaking his beautiful ears in a really sad way; but his troubles were only halfway over, because, not seeing very well where he was going, he stumbled right into a clucking hen and her chicks. And she gave it to him next. If the cat warmed up one end of him, she balanced it out by warming the other; so true it is that misfortunes rarely come one at a time.

Cats have been often known to leap gallantly into the water after a drowning[Pg 117] kitten, and bring it safely to land. A case occurred only a few days ago. Some lads stole a cat’s only kitten, and after playing with it all day, proposed drowning it. With this intention they went to a mill-dam, and threw it far into the water. But the loving little mother had been waiting and watching not far off, and, stimulated by the drowning cry of her kitten, she bravely swam towards it, and brought it on shore. I know another instance of a cat, that saved the life of a kitten which belonged to another cat. Her own kittens had been drowned a whole week before, but evidently she had not forgotten the loss; and one day, seeing four kittens being drowned in a pool, she plunged in, and seizing the largest brought it to bank, and marched off with it in triumph. She reared it carefully. The children baptized it Moses, very appropriately too; and it is now a fine, large Tom-tabby.

Cats are often known to leap gracefully into the water to rescue a drowning kitten and bring it safely to shore. Just a few days ago, something similar happened. Some kids took a cat's only kitten and, after playing with it all day, decided to drown it. With this plan, they went to a mill-dam and threw it far into the water. But the loving mother cat had been waiting and watching nearby, and when she heard her kitten’s cries, she bravely swam toward it and brought it back to land. I know of another case where a cat saved the life of a kitten that belonged to another cat. Her own kittens had drowned a week before, but she clearly hadn't forgotten her loss; one day, she saw four kittens in a pool about to drown, jumped in, grabbed the largest one, and carried it to the bank, marching off triumphantly. She raised it carefully, and the children named it Moses, which was quite fitting; it’s now a big, healthy Tom-tabby.

A poor cat some time since nearly lost her life in the Dee, attempting to save the life of her kitten. The river was swollen with recent rains, and the kitten was in the centre[Pg 118] of the stream; but, nothing daunted, pussy, like the brave little heroine she was, plunged in, and finally reached it. Here her real danger only began, for the current was very strong, and pussy was whirled rapidly down the river. After struggling for nearly half an hour, she succeeded in landing at a bend of the river nearly a mile below. She had stuck to her poor kitten all the time; but the little thing was dead.

A poor cat almost lost her life in the Dee a while back while trying to save her kitten. The river was swollen from recent rains, and the kitten was in the middle[Pg 118] of the stream; but, undeterred, the brave little cat jumped in and eventually reached it. However, her real danger started there, as the current was very strong, and she was quickly swept down the river. After struggling for nearly half an hour, she managed to get to the shore at a bend in the river nearly a mile downstream. She had stayed with her poor kitten the whole time, but the little thing was dead.

A family in Fifeshire were about removing to another farm, about four miles distant from the one they then occupied. Part of their household gods was a nice large she-tabby, and being kind-hearted folks, they never thought of leaving her behind; so having found a home with a neighbour for pussy’s one kitten, they took the mother with them to their new residence. Next morning pussy had disappeared, and they were just beginning to put faith in the popular fallacy that cats are more attached to places than persons, when back came pussy, and with her her kitten. That kitten, pussy thought, wasn’t old enough for weaning, and[Pg 119] so she had gone back all the way to steal it. She was right.

A family in Fifeshire was about to move to another farm, about four miles away from the one they were currently living on. Among their belongings was a nice large female tabby cat, and since they were kind-hearted people, they never thought of leaving her behind. So, after finding a home with a neighbor for the one kitten, they took the mother cat with them to their new place. The next morning, the cat had disappeared, and they were just starting to believe the common misconception that cats are more attached to locations than to people when the cat returned, bringing her kitten with her. The mother cat thought that her kitten wasn’t old enough to be weaned, and so she had gone all the way back to steal it. She was right.

Owing to the peculiarities of his matrimonial relations, the happy father of a litter of kittens shares none of the responsibility, and has none of the care and trouble of rearing them, because he does not, as a rule, reside in the bosom of his family. When he does live with his wife, however, he is never exempted from family duties. And Tom always shows himself a thoughtful husband and loving father. A male cat of my acquaintance was most exemplary in his attentions on his wife at one of the most interesting and critical periods of her life. Made aware, goodness knows how, of her approaching confinement, he not only selected the closet for the occasion, but even made her bed for her, and stood sentry at the door till the whole affair was over. Every morning for weeks he trotted upstairs, first thing, to see if his wife wanted anything, and to gaze enraptured on his darlings. I am sorry to say, however, that this little woman rather bullied her doating husband. If she[Pg 120] happened to be in good humour when Tom entered, then well and good, she returned his fond cry and chaste salute. If not, her brows fell at once, and she let him have it straight from the shoulder. Poor Tom in the latter case used to mew apologetically, and retire. It was Tom’s duty every morning to bring in a very young rabbit, a bird, or at least a mouse, and it seemed to be an understood thing that he should bring it “all alive ho!” When he brought it dead, she slapped him. Sometimes he brought a herring, then she slapped him. Indeed, she lost no opportunity of slapping him. She slapped him if he looked fond and foolish at her, and she slapped him if he didn’t. One day he was put to nurse the kittens. The kittens commenced an unavailing search for tits among Tom’s fur. As a wet nurse, Tom was a failure. He was slapped, and sent off accordingly. Tom seemed to have business that took him down town every day. Whenever he came back, he was snuffed all over and examined to see whether he had been with lady friends. If he had been, then he[Pg 121] was properly slapped. So there was a good deal of slapping. His wife was fond of him, however, for, once, when he absented himself without leave for a whole day and a night, she made the house ring with her melancholy cries. She half killed him when he did return, nevertheless. Such is conjugal felicity.

Due to the quirks of his marriage, the happy father of a bunch of kittens takes on none of the responsibility and doesn't deal with the hassle of raising them, since he usually doesn’t live at home with his family. However, when he does stay with his wife, he’s never free from family obligations. And Tom always proves to be a caring husband and affectionate father. A male cat I know was particularly attentive to his wife during one of the most significant and challenging times of her life. Somehow, he instinctively knew she was about to give birth; he not only picked the closet for the occasion but also made her bed and stood guard at the door until everything was done. Every morning for weeks, he made the trek upstairs first thing to check if his wife needed anything and to gawk at their precious kittens. Unfortunately, this little lady had a tendency to boss around her devoted husband. If she happened to be in a good mood when Tom arrived, then all was well—she’d return his affectionate meow and sweet greeting. But if not, her expression would darken, and she would let him have it. Poor Tom, in that case, would meow apologetically and back away. It was Tom’s job every morning to bring in a very young rabbit, a bird, or at least a mouse, and it was expected that he should bring it “all alive, ho!” When he brought something dead, she slapped him. Sometimes he’d bring a herring, and then she would slap him too. In fact, she seized every chance to slap him. She slapped him if he looked at her lovingly and foolishly, and she slapped him if he didn’t. One day, he was tasked with nursing the kittens. The kittens started looking for food in Tom’s fur. As a wet nurse, Tom was a bust. He got slapped and sent on his way. Tom seemed to have something that took him downtown every day. Whenever he returned, he’d be sniffed all over and checked to see if he’d been with any lady friends. If he had, then he was duly slapped. So, there was plenty of slapping going on. However, his wife did care for him, because once, when he was away without telling anyone for an entire day and night, she filled the house with her sad cries. Still, she nearly killed him when he finally came back. Such is married bliss.

Although, as a rule, all the duties of maternity seem to end with the weaning of the kitten, still the motherly affection does not die out; and in cases of sickness in any of her children, pussy at once resumes the cares of nursing, as the following little story will illustrate.

Although, generally speaking, all the responsibilities of motherhood seem to end when the kitten is weaned, the motherly love doesn’t fade; and if any of her kittens get sick, the cat immediately takes on the nurturing role again, as the following little story will show.

 

GINGER AND JOSIE.

Ginger and Josie.

And Josie was Ginger’s mother. She was a good mother. There had been originally five, but the others were born to sorrow, and were accidentally drowned; so that all mother Josie’s love was centred in her one son Ginger. Ginger, therefore, not only got all the love, but he got all the milk; so he grew up thumpingly and fat. Nothing remarkable[Pg 122] transpired during Ginger’s kittenhood. He neither had the measles, nor, strange to say, the hooping cough; and he played the usual antics with his mother’s tail that all kittens do, and have done, since Noah’s cats’ kittens downwards. When Josie found her milk getting scarce, she weaned her son Ginger; this she accomplished by whacking him, and endeavouring to carve her initials on his nose. No doubt Ginger thought himself absurdly ill-used. We have all thought the same on a similar occasion. But Ginger was amply repaid for the loss of his tits, by the mice which his loving mamma never failed to supply him with daily. So he grew up burly, big, and beautiful; and at the age of one year had become a mighty hunter. Then came six long days and nights wherein Ginger never appeared, and poor mother Josie went about the house mourning unceasingly for her lost son. At the end of that time, a pitiful mewing was heard outside, proceeding from the bottom of the garden, and on walking down, his owners, to their dismay, found poor Ginger, to quote his[Pg 123] mistress’s words, “in a most lamentable plight, thin to emaciation, and coiled up on the ground apparently lifeless, his fur, once so glossy and bright, now all bedraggled in blood and mud.” The cruel keepers had been the cause of Ginger’s misfortunes. He had been caught in a trap. For five days, without food or water, had the poor animal languished in a field. On the sixth he had managed to crawl some little way, dragging the trap after him, till he came to a gate. This he managed to get through, but the trap getting entangled, held him fast until some kind Samaritan, seeing his miserable plight, set him free from this impediment. He then crawled home, jumped the wall, and sunk exhausted on the ground, where he now lay. Tenderly was Ginger borne into the house, and laid on the hearth-rug. His leg was broken, swollen, and entirely useless; so it was determined to have recourse to amputation. The extremity was accordingly cut off by the owners, and, although long confined to his mat, pussy lived. Josie was very happy to see her son again, maimed[Pg 124] and bruised as he was, and at once set about performing the duties of nurse to him. She seldom or never left him, except to procure food for him; but Ginger had a regular daily supply of dead mice, birds, and other feline dainties, until he was able to get about and cater for himself. Ginger’s accident happened upwards of two years ago. He is still alive and well, and as strong and active on his three legs as other cats are on four. Ginger is a fine, large cat, but has always exhibited the greatest aversion to strangers.

And Josie was Ginger’s mom. She was a great mom. Originally, there had been five kittens, but the others sadly didn't make it and were accidentally drowned; so all of Josie’s love was focused on her only son, Ginger. Because of this, Ginger not only received all the love but also all the milk, which made him grow big and fat. Nothing out of the ordinary happened during Ginger’s kittenhood. He didn’t have measles or, oddly enough, whooping cough; he played the usual games with his mom’s tail that all kittens do, just like kittens have done since the time of Noah. When Josie noticed her milk supply running low, she weaned Ginger by giving him a light whack and trying to carve her initials on his nose. No doubt Ginger thought he was being treated unfairly. We’ve all felt the same at times. But Ginger was well-compensated for losing his milk by the mice his loving mom always made sure to supply him with daily. He grew up brawny, big, and beautiful; by the time he was one year old, he had become a skilled hunter. Then came six long days and nights when Ginger disappeared, and poor mom Josie wandered around the house, mourning for her lost son. After that time, a pitiful mewing was heard outside, coming from the bottom of the garden, and when his owners went down to check, they were dismayed to find poor Ginger, to quote his mom, “in a terrible state, thin to the bone, and curled up on the ground, seemingly lifeless, his once shiny fur now matted with blood and mud.” The cruel caretakers were responsible for Ginger’s troubles. He had been caught in a trap. For five days, without food or water, the poor animal suffered in a field. On the sixth day, he managed to crawl a short distance, dragging the trap behind him, until he reached a gate. He got through, but the trap got tangled, holding him back until a kind stranger saw his miserable state and freed him from the trap. He then crawled home, jumped over the wall, and collapsed, exhausted on the ground where he lay. Ginger was gently carried into the house and placed on the hearth rug. His leg was broken, swollen, and completely useless; so they decided to amputate it. The owners carefully cut off the injured leg, and although he was confined to his mat for a long time, the little cat survived. Josie was so happy to see her son again, despite being injured and bruised, and immediately began to nurse him back to health. She hardly ever left his side, except to get food for him; but Ginger had a regular daily supply of dead mice, birds, and other tasty treats until he could get around and fend for himself. Ginger’s accident happened over two years ago. He is still alive and well, just as strong and active on his three legs as other cats are on four. Ginger is a big, impressive cat but has always shown a strong dislike for strangers.

 

 


CHAPTER XIII.

[See Note M, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

HOME TIES AND AFFECTIONS.

Family Bonds and Connections.

Are cats more attached to places than to persons? I have taken considerable pains to arrive at a correct answer to this question, and not satisfied with my own judgment and experience, as in the case of pussy’s honesty, I “appealed to the country.” I am happy to find that the opinion of all cat-lovers, nearly all cat-breeders, and the large majority of people who keep a cat for utility, is that cats are as a rule more attached to their masters or owners than to their homes. This question then must be considered as set at rest, and a stigma removed from the name and character of our dear little friend the cat. The popular fallacy, that cats are fonder of places than persons, first took its origin in the days, long gone by, when cats were kept for use only, and never as pets; and it only obtains now among people who look upon pussy as a[Pg 126] mere animated rat-trap, and who starve, neglect, and in every way ill-treat the poor thing.

Are cats more attached to places than to people? I've put a lot of effort into finding the right answer to this question, and not being satisfied with just my own judgment and experience, as I did in the case of a cat's honesty, I "looked to the community." I'm glad to see that the consensus among cat lovers, almost all cat breeders, and the majority of people who keep cats for practical reasons is that, generally speaking, cats are more attached to their owners than to their homes. This question can be considered settled, and a misconception removed from our dear little friend, the cat. The common belief that cats prefer places over people originated in a time long ago when cats were kept only for practical use and never as pets; it persists today mainly among those who view cats as nothing more than a [Pg 126] simple animated pest control, and who neglect, mistreat, and harm the poor creatures in various ways.

Pray don’t mistake me, reader, I am not saying that pussy isn’t fond of her home, in fact I am going to prove that she is immensely so; but I most emphatically deny, that she ever allows that fondness, to obscure her love for the hand that feeds and caresses her, or the kind voice of a loving master or mistress.

Please don’t misunderstand me, reader. I’m not saying that the cat doesn’t love her home; in fact, I’m going to show you that she really does. But I definitely deny that her fondness for home ever gets in the way of her affection for the hand that feeds and pets her, or the gentle voice of a caring owner.

Six years ago, an intimate friend of mine, who “loveth all things great and small,” went to reside for a time with a family in town. A fine blue tabby was an inmate of the same house.

Six years ago, a close friend of mine, who "loves all things great and small," moved in with a family in town for a while. A beautiful blue tabby cat lived in the same house.

“That cat,” said the mistress, “belongs to the family that lived here before, it has been five times removed, and always comes back.”

“That cat,” said the lady, “belongs to the family that lived here before. It’s been gone five times, and it always comes back.”

My friend only remained there for six weeks, when he changed his residence for a house he had taken only a few streets off, but when he left, that bonnie blue tabby trotted by his side all the way home, and it has not returned yet.

My friend only stayed there for six weeks before moving to a house just a few streets away, but when he left, that pretty blue tabby followed him all the way home, and it has not returned yet.

[Pg 127]But there is no doubt pussy is extremely attached to her home; and nothing, I think, shows her warm-heartedness more, than her willingness to leave that home with a kind owner. A cat has so many home-ties, that we need not wonder at her unwillingness to change her residence. Custom has so endeared her to the old place, that she cannot all at once like the new. She knows every hole and corner of it, knows every mouse-walk, the cupboards, the cosy nooks for a quiet snooze, and the places where she may hide when hiding becomes a necessity, she is acquainted with the manner of egress and ingress, and is familiar with every sound, so that her rest is undisturbed by night, and her finely-strung nervous system not put on the rack by day. Out of doors, too, everything about the old place is familiar, the trees on which the sparrows perch, the field where she often finds an egg, the distant meadow corner where the rabbits play, and the path that leads thereto, which she can traverse unseen and free from danger, either from farmers’ dogs or boys with stones, and above[Pg 128] all, the dear old trysting place, where she knows she can always meet her lovers in the moonlight. But if she changes her quarters, all this knowledge has to be learned over again. New dangers have to be encountered, fresh troubles, and bother of every description. Her new residence, and everything about and around it, has to be thoroughly surveyed, mentally mapped out, and got by heart before she can feel anything like at home. So that if pussy has not the love of a kind human friend, to counterbalance all her trials, it is no wonder she will do anything or walk any length, to get back to the place where she was so happy. And when she goes back, what does she find?

[Pg 127]But there's no doubt that a cat is really attached to her home; and nothing shows her warmth more than her willingness to leave that home for a loving owner. A cat has so many connections to her place that we can understand why she doesn't want to move. She has become so fond of her old home that she can't instantly love the new one. She knows every little nook and cranny, every path where mice might scurry, the cupboards, the cozy spots for a catnap, and the hiding places she can use when she needs to. She is familiar with how to get in and out, and she recognizes every sound, so her sleep isn’t disturbed at night, and her sensitive nerves aren't stressed during the day. Outside, too, everything in the old yard is familiar—the trees where the sparrows rest, the field where she often finds eggs, the far corner of the meadow where the rabbits play, and the path that leads there, which she can navigate unseen and safely, avoiding dogs or boys with rocks, and above[Pg 128] all, the beloved meeting spot where she knows she can see her friends under the moonlight. But if she has to move, she must relearn all this knowledge. She has to face new dangers, fresh challenges, and all kinds of hassles. Her new home and everything around it has to be carefully explored, mentally mapped out, and memorized before she can feel at ease. So if the cat doesn't have the love of a caring human friend to help balance out all her struggles, it’s no surprise she would do anything or go any distance to get back to the place where she was so happy. And when she returns, what does she find?

“A change,
Faces and footsteps and all things strange.”

"An update,"
New faces, new paths, and everything surprising.”

She is treated as a stray cat, and sent adrift every time she dares to put her unhappy nose inside the door. But, nevertheless, she will hang about her old home for days and weeks, until, impelled by the pangs of hunger, she casts aside the mantle of virtue, becomes[Pg 129] a thief, and revenges herself on the new inhabitant’s pigeons, rabbits, and chickens. Facilis descensus Averni. Having once robbed a roost, she would rob a church; so she takes to thieving as a means of subsistence. The way of the transgressor is hard: her coat becomes dry and hard, her ribs stick out; she loses all respect for her personal appearance, frequents low neighbourhoods, keeps low company, makes night “hideous with her howling,” and in a general way does everything she can to earn for herself and the whole cat community a bad name; and finally, in a few months—if not sooner by accident—succumbs to disease and dies on a dunghill.

She’s treated like a stray cat and sent away every time she dares to stick her unhappy nose inside the door. Still, she hangs around her old home for days and weeks until hunger drives her to throw away her morals, turn into a thief, and take revenge on the new occupant’s pigeons, rabbits, and chickens. Facilis descensus Averni. Once she’s stolen from a coop, she’ll steal from anywhere; so she resorts to thieving to survive. The path of the transgressor is tough: her fur becomes dry and rough, her ribs stick out; she loses all care for how she looks, hangs out in rough neighborhoods, keeps bad company, makes nights “terrible with her howling,” and generally does everything she can to earn a bad reputation for herself and all the cats in the area; and finally, within a few months—if not sooner by chance—she succumbs to illness and dies in a trash heap.

It is with a feeling of deep regret, that even the best-treated cat bids farewell to a place, which has so long been her home. You shall often see poor pussy, after all the furniture and fixings have been packed in the vans, run back and take a walk all round the empty desolate chambers, then return and submit herself to be quietly taken off to her new abode. On arriving there, her very first act will be to make a tour of inspection,[Pg 130] through every room and corner of the house; she will then count the members of the family, and if all she loves are present, if she gets a drink of milk, and especially if there be a good fire, she will at once settle down and begin to sing.

It is with deep regret that even the best-treated cat says goodbye to a place that has been her home for so long. You’ll often see poor kitty, after all the furniture and belongings have been loaded into the vans, run back to stroll around the empty, lonely rooms, then come back and allow herself to be quietly taken to her new home. Once she arrives, her first action will be to inspect every room and corner of the house; she will then count the family members, and if everyone she loves is there, if she gets a drink of milk, and especially if there’s a nice fire, she will immediately settle in and start to purr.[Pg 130]

Some time ago, a pussy of my acquaintance was condemned to death for taking a slight liberty with the canary—in fact, she ate him. It was certainly very thoughtless of poor puss; however she suffered for it, although not to the extent that was intended. She was confined in a sack with a large stone, and sunk in the adjoining river. Nothing more was seen or heard of pussy—which, under the circumstances, wasn’t considered at all surprising—for a fortnight, when one evening she walked in, and laid herself down before the fire as if nothing had happened. Wherever she had been, the cat had lived well, for she was both plump and sleek. Probably, on escaping from the river, she had thought that a two weeks’ holiday in the woods would both benefit her health, after treatment so rough, and give[Pg 131] time for the evil impression which her crime had induced to wear off. If so, she was right; for she was received with open arms, and freely forgiven, and is still alive and well.

Some time ago, a cat I knew was sentenced to death for being a bit too playful with the canary—in fact, she ate him. It was definitely thoughtless of the poor kitty; however, she paid for it, though not as severely as expected. She was stuffed into a sack with a big stone and thrown into the nearby river. Nothing more was seen or heard of her, which, given the circumstances, wasn’t surprising at all—until two weeks later when one evening she walked in and settled down in front of the fire as if nothing had happened. Wherever she had been, the cat had been well taken care of, as she was both plump and shiny. Probably, after escaping from the river, she thought a two-week holiday in the woods would help her recover from such rough treatment and allow time for the bad impression of her crime to fade. If that was her plan, she was right; she was welcomed back with open arms, fully forgiven, and is still alive and well.

A cat will travel almost incredible distances to regain her home.

A cat will travel almost unbelievable distances to get back home.

I know of a cat that, along with her three kittens, was sent in a hamper a long journey across country, to a mill, where it was intended she should mount guard over the rats. Pussy, however, had no such intention; and next morning, to the great surprise of the inmates, she was found sitting at her own door with one kitten beside her. She disappeared that same evening, and next morning returned with another kitten. In the same manner, next night she brought home the third and last, and so settled quietly down to rear her family. This cat, I think, showed great determination, and a knowledge of country that would have pleased Von Moltke himself.

I know of a cat who, along with her three kittens, was sent on a long journey in a hamper to a mill, where she was supposed to guard against the rats. However, the cat had other plans; the next morning, to everyone's surprise, she was found sitting at her own door with one kitten beside her. She vanished that same evening and returned the next morning with another kitten. In the same way, the following night she brought home the third and last one, and then settled down to raise her family. I think this cat showed incredible determination and a sense of the area that would have impressed even Von Moltke.

Dozens of such anecdotes might be given, but I will only trouble the reader with one more. There is a river in Scotland called[Pg 132] the Spey; that I suppose is no news. You will also know that this river is celebrated for two things—salmon and celerity, it being the most rapid river in the kingdom. Near this river, on one side, is the farm of Dandilieth; and on the other, but four miles distant, stands the dwelling-house of Knockan. Once upon a time, then, the tenants of Dandilieth were removing to Knockan; and after the household furniture was packed on the carts, a search was made for the household cat. She was found in a corner of the empty house, on some straw, faithfully nursing her family of three blind kittens. A bed was made for her in the lap of one of the children; and in due time all arrived safe at Knockan, and pussy and her family were duly installed in the new house. But pussy was not happy. She longed for her old home at Dandilieth; and to think, with her, was to act; and this she did to some purpose, for on the farmer returning next day to his old place for the purpose of conveying home the farm implements, he was astonished to find the cat in her old corner, and the three kittens safe[Pg 133] beside her. Now, as the nearest bridge is twenty miles distant, it is quite evident that pussy must have swum the Spey five times in a single night (three times with a kitten in her mouth), to say nothing of the long journeys backwards and forwards between the two farms.

Dozens of stories like this could be shared, but I’ll only bother you with one more. There’s a river in Scotland called the Spey, which you probably already know. This river is famous for two things—salmon and speed, as it’s the fastest river in the country. On one side of the river is a farm called Dandilieth, and on the other side, just four miles away, is the house at Knockan. One day, the residents of Dandilieth were moving to Knockan, and after loading their furniture onto the carts, they went looking for their cat. They found her curled up in a corner of the empty house on some straw, diligently nursing her three blind kittens. They made a cozy spot for her in one of the children’s laps, and eventually, they all arrived safely at Knockan, where the cat and her kittens were settled in the new house. But the cat wasn’t happy. She missed her old home at Dandilieth, and when she decided to take action, she did so with determination. The next day, when the farmer returned to Dandilieth to collect the farm tools, he was shocked to find the cat in her old corner, with her three kittens safely beside her. Given that the nearest bridge is twenty miles away, it’s clear that the cat must have swum across the Spey five times in one night (three times with a kitten in her mouth), not to mention all the long trips back and forth between the two farms.

Although of a nature not so demonstrative as that of the dog, still a cat is capable of loving its master or mistress with a love equally strong, if not stronger. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” may certainly be said with regard to pussy.

Although less expressive than a dog, a cat can still love its owner just as strongly, if not more. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” definitely applies to cats.

“Don Juan,” says a lady, “is a beautiful dark tabby, with back almost black, legs ringed like those of a tiger, short ears honourably scarred by various encounters with rats, stoats, etc., which he has succeeded in killing; long tail, also ringed with tabby; rich tabby shirt, around which there are beautiful rings of black and tabby; paws with black pads—a most loving and lovable old cat. Two years ago we left home for a ‘parson’s week,’ during which time the house, pussy included, was in the charge[Pg 134] of servants. The first sound which met us upon opening the garden-gate on our return, was a most pitiful scream from poor Juan, who recognized our voices and came bounding across the garden to greet us. For more than a week he could hardly be persuaded to leave us, but spent his time in purring and rubbing round us, as though to assure himself of our presence.”

“Don Juan,” a lady says, “is a beautiful dark tabby, with a back that's almost black, legs striped like a tiger’s, short ears marked from various encounters with rats, stoats, and so on, which he’s managed to kill; a long tail, also striped with tabby; a rich tabby coat, surrounded by stunning rings of black and tabby; paws with black pads—a truly loving and lovable old cat. Two years ago we left home for a ‘parson’s week,’ during which the house, including the cat, was under the care[Pg 134] of some servants. The first sound we heard when we opened the garden gate upon our return was a heartbreaking scream from poor Juan, who recognized our voices and came bounding across the garden to greet us. For over a week, he could hardly be convinced to leave our side, spending his time purring and rubbing against us, as if trying to make sure we were really there.”

“My own cat,” writes a lady correspondent, “although greatly petted by its master, appears quite wretched whenever I go on a visit. After mewing piteously at my door for a day or two, it leaves the house, often remaining away for weeks; but his delight at seeing me, the fond rush towards me, and his song of joy are very pretty.” The same lady gives an account of a venerable old tortoise-shell puss, who goes to sea with its master,—officer in an East Indiaman,—and keeps watch with him by night or day in all weathers. No wonder he is fond of her.

“My own cat,” writes a woman correspondent, “even though she's really spoiled by her owner, looks so sad whenever I go away on a trip. After meowing sadly at my door for a day or two, she leaves the house and often stays gone for weeks; but her excitement when she sees me, the way she rushes to me, and her happy little song are really nice.” This same woman shares a story about an elderly tortoiseshell cat who goes to sea with her owner, an officer on an East Indiaman, and keeps watch with him day and night in all kinds of weather. It's no surprise he loves her.

I know an instance of a cat that was very strongly attached to a boy. When this boy was sent to a distant school, pussy, after[Pg 135] mourning for him several days, took to the woods and never returned.

I know of a cat that was really attached to a boy. When this boy was sent to a faraway school, the cat, after[Pg 135] grieving for him for several days, went into the woods and never came back.

There is surely strong proof of how deeply a cat loves its owner, in the anxiety and sorrow it evinces on seeing that owner in grief or in pain.

There is definitely strong evidence of how deeply a cat loves its owner in the anxiety and sadness it shows when it sees that owner in distress or in pain.

I have an instance of a cat that is extremely attached to a little boy. This young gentleman has very great objections to having his nails cut. Whenever this necessary operation is being performed, he sets up a howling which very speedily brings his faithful playmate pussy to his aid. She comes running with all speed, and growling in unmistakable anger. She jumps on his knee, and after giving him one hurried kiss and embrace, as much as to say, “Be of good cheer, I shan’t let them hurt you,” she wheels round and stands on the defensive; and the nurse has to retire and wait for a better opportunity.

I have a story about a cat that is super attached to a little boy. This young fellow really hates having his nails trimmed. Whenever this necessary task is happening, he starts howling, which quickly brings his loyal kitty to his side. She comes running fast, growling in clear anger. She jumps onto his lap, gives him a quick kiss and hug, almost saying, “Don’t worry, I won’t let them hurt you,” then turns around and gets ready to defend him; the nurse has to step back and wait for a better chance.

Another cat is extremely attached to a little girl, whom she follows about wherever she goes. When the child comes to grief, in some of the various ways incidental to early years, pussy does all she can in her humble[Pg 136] way to pacify and comfort her, rubbing herself round her and caressing her, and saying, “Oh! oh!” in the same fond pitying tone she uses to her kittens.

Another cat is really attached to a little girl, following her wherever she goes. When the child gets upset in the usual ways of young kids, the cat does everything she can in her own simple way to soothe and comfort her, rubbing against her and purring, making soft "Oh! oh!" sounds in the same loving, sympathetic tone she uses with her kittens.

I was called the other day to see a lady in a hysterical fit; and it was most affecting to witness the grief of her poor cat. Hearing her mistress’s screams, she darted into the room, and at once threw herself on the lady’s breast, licking her neck and hands and face in the most passionate manner, stopping only occasionally to look about and growl fiercely at me, as if I had been the cause of her mistress’s illness.

I was called the other day to see a woman having a hysterical episode, and it was really touching to see how upset her poor cat was. Hearing her owner’s screams, the cat rushed into the room and immediately jumped onto the lady's chest, licking her neck, hands, and face with intense affection, stopping now and then to glare at me and growl fiercely, as though I was the reason for her owner’s distress.

The following anecdote shows, I think, in a very marked manner, how deeply attached pussy can be to her master, and how forgiving is her nature.

The following story clearly shows how deeply attached a cat can be to her owner and how forgiving she is by nature.

Robert D——, a young man of nineteen, lived in the same house with his mother and sisters. He was by no means an exemplary youth. In fact, if he had had his due, the ravens, according to Solomon, would have made short work with his eyes. He had early taken to habits of dissipation, and was[Pg 137] in the constant custom of bullying his poor mother, for money to continue his debauches. He must have had some little good in him however, for he was fond of his mother’s beautiful black cat. Not so fond, however, as pussy was of him; for, poor thing, she never seemed happy save in his company. One morning he was leaving his mother’s room after an unusually stormy scene, when pussy met him at the top of the stair, running towards him with a fond cry, and singing as she rubbed herself against his leg.

Robert D——, a nineteen-year-old guy, lived in the same house with his mom and sisters. He wasn’t exactly a model teenager. In fact, if he had gotten what he deserved, the ravens, as Solomon said, would have had a feast with his eyes. He had quickly taken up the habit of partying hard and was always pestering his poor mom for money to fund his wild lifestyle. Still, there must have been some good in him because he loved his mom’s beautiful black cat. Not as much as the cat loved him, though; the poor thing only seemed happy when she was with him. One morning, after an unusually heated argument with his mom, he was leaving her room when the cat ran up to him at the top of the stairs, meowing affectionately and rubbing against his leg.

“Curse you!” he cried, and kicked her to the door-mat. The look the poor cat gave him would have softened a less hard heart; in him it only roused the innate devil.

"Curse you!” he shouted, kicking her onto the doormat. The expression on the poor cat's face would have melted the heart of someone less cruel; in him, it only stirred up his inner darkness.

“You’re like the rest,” he shouted; and, seizing the unhappy puss, he dashed her with all his force over the banisters. The poor creature was not killed outright; but was so severely wounded that she died in three hours. Although bleeding all the time, and evidently in great pain, never a cry escaped her, only a low moaning mew. For one moment only she brightened up a[Pg 138] little, when her hard-hearted, but still loved master came in to see her before she expired. She even tried to sing, apparently anxious to show she had forgiven him; and actually died licking his hands.

“You’re just like the others,” he shouted; and, grabbing the poor cat, he hurled her with all his strength over the banisters. The unfortunate creature wasn’t killed instantly; but she was so badly hurt that she passed away in three hours. Even though she was bleeding the whole time and clearly in a lot of pain, she didn’t make a sound, just a soft, pained meow. For just a moment, she perked up a[Pg 138] bit when her cruel, yet beloved master came in to see her before she died. She even tried to purr, seemingly wanting to show that she had forgiven him; and she actually died licking his hands.

I know the case of an old gentleman, who was extremely fond of a very pretty cat he had; and pussy loved her master dearly. Indeed, cats seem always particularly partial to the aged. They love to sit beside them at the fireside, and soothe them with their low, murmuring song; for they seem to know by instinct that age is but a second childhood, with only the grave beyond. The gentleman in question died at an advanced age. Every one missed and mourned him, but none so sincerely as pussy. She never sung again, and nothing could induce her to leave his sitting-room. She would sit and gaze for hours at the vacant arm-chair, as if she couldn’t understand why her eyes no longer beheld him she loved. This went on for a fortnight; then one morning poor pussy was found lying stiff and dead on the hearth-rug. She had died of grief.

I know the story of an old man who was very fond of his beautiful cat, and the cat loved her owner dearly. In fact, cats seem to have a special affinity for older people. They love to curl up next to them by the fire and comfort them with their soft purring, as if they instinctively understand that old age is just a second childhood, with only the grave ahead. The old man passed away at a ripe age. Everyone missed him and mourned his loss, but none more sincerely than the cat. She never sang again, and nothing could get her to leave his sitting room. She would sit and stare for hours at the empty armchair, as if she couldn’t grasp why she could no longer see the one she loved. This went on for two weeks, and then one morning, poor kitty was found lying stiff and dead on the hearth rug. She had died of sadness.

[Pg 139]I may close this chapter with another similar instance of pussy’s affection for a kind master.

[Pg 139]I'll end this chapter with another example of a cat's love for a caring owner.

He was an old fiddler, who dwelt all alone in a cottage on a moor. He had lived to see friend after friend laid under the sod, and now he had none on earth to care for him. Ah! yes; he had one friend—his cat. This little pet cheered him in many a lonely hour; and when sickness came at last, she never left his bedside. Then he died. She sat like a dazed creature as she saw him lifted and placed in his coffin, and she followed the loved remains to their long home, and saw where they laid him. She never left that churchyard living. For three days she sat on the grave; and it would have made your heart bleed, reader, to have heard her pitiful cries.

He was an old fiddler who lived alone in a cottage on a moor. He had watched friend after friend get buried, and now he had no one left on earth to care for him. Ah, but he had one friend—his cat. This little companion brightened many of his lonely hours; and when sickness finally arrived, she never left his side. Then he died. She sat there like a lost soul as she watched him being lifted and placed in his coffin, and she followed his beloved remains to their final resting place, seeing where they laid him. She never left that graveyard alive. For three days, she sat on the grave, and it would have broken your heart, reader, to hear her sorrowful cries.

“Oh!” she seemed to say to every passerby, “he is here—my master is here with all this load of earth on his breast. Will no one come and help me?”

“Oh!” she seemed to say to every passerby, “he is here—my master is here with all this weight of earth on him. Will no one come and help me?”

On a cold sleety morning in November she was found stretched on the grave—in a hole she had scraped—dead.

On a cold, icy morning in November, she was discovered lying on the grave—in a hole she had dug—dead.

[Pg 140]Has this gentle and affectionate creature met her master? Is there no hereafter for pussy? The sun of her sinless life set in sorrow.

[Pg 140]Has this sweet and loving creature found her owner? Is there no future for this cat? The brightness of her innocent life ended in sadness.

“Alas for love! if this be all,
And nought beyond an earth.”

“Alas for love! If this is all,
"And nothing more than just the planet."

 

 


CHAPTER XIV.

[See Note N, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

FISHING EXPLOITS.

Fishing Adventures.

Cats are, as a rule, averse to water in every shape. If every one of us were as much afraid of getting damp feet, there would be much less coughing in church and theatre. Parsons might preach in peace, and actors rant undisturbed. It would be a bad thing in a business way, however, as far as the medical profession and their friends the undertakers are concerned; for, if the former did not work with additional zeal, many of the latter would starve. Did you ever observe a cat crossing the street on a rainy day? How gingerly she treads, how carefully picks out the driest spots, lifting each fore-paw and shaking it with an air of supreme disgust, and finally, for the last few yards, making a reckless bolt to the front door.

Cats generally dislike water in all its forms. If everyone felt as strongly about getting wet feet, there would be a lot less coughing in churches and theaters. Ministers could preach in peace, and actors could perform without interruption. However, it would be a bad situation for the medical profession and their friends, the undertakers, because if doctors didn’t work as hard, many undertakers would face financial trouble. Have you ever noticed a cat trying to cross the street on a rainy day? She steps so cautiously, carefully choosing the driest spots, lifting each front paw and shaking it off with an expression of complete disgust, and finally, for the last few steps, she makes a wild dash to the front door.

Pussy is a very dainty animal, cleanly in[Pg 142] the extreme, more particularly with regard to her personal appearance; and knowing better than any one that fur once wet is very difficult to dry, she does not care to dabble in the water like a duck or a Newfoundland dog. But let the occasion arise, either in the pursuit of game or in some case of necessity, and she at once throws all her scruples overboard, and goes overboard after them, wetting both feet and fur with a will.

Pussy is a very delicate animal, extremely clean, especially when it comes to her appearance; and knowing better than anyone that fur is tough to dry once it gets wet, she avoids splashing around in water like a duck or a Newfoundland dog. But if the situation calls for it, whether in the pursuit of prey or out of necessity, she quickly puts aside her reservations and plunges in, getting both her feet and fur wet without hesitation.

In Cassell’s Magazine lately, there is related the story of a cat, that was in the constant habit of diving into the sea, and bringing out live fish. This is told as a great curiosity; but I can assure the reader that such things are by no means rare. I have known of hundreds of such cases; and they are occurring every day.

In Cassell’s Magazine recently, there’s a story about a cat that regularly jumps into the sea and brings out live fish. This is presented as a fascinating oddity, but I assure the reader that these occurrences are far from uncommon. I've heard of hundreds of similar cases, and they happen every day.

Joe, a nice she-tabby, was a curious specimen of the feline fish-catcher. Her master was a disciple of Walton’s. With eager and joyful looks, pussy used to watch him taking down the rod and fishing-basket, sit singing beside him while he looked to his tackle, and[Pg 143] rub herself against his leg while he prepared the invariable sandwich, as much as to say, “Don’t forget a morsel to your puss; she likewise is going a-fishing.” Then she would trot by his side all the way, as proud as Punch, to the distant streamlet. Anxiously she would watch the skimming fly, squaring her lips and emitting little excited screams of delight, whenever a fish rose to nibble. Then, when a trout was landed, pussy at once threw herself upon it and despatched it. At other times, she would spring into the stream, perhaps up to the neck, and commence fishing on her own account, by feeling with her paws below all the banks, working as hard and as eagerly as any bare-legged school-boy.

Joe, a nice female tabby, was an intriguing example of a cat that loved to fish. Her owner was a disciple of Walton. With eager and joyful looks, she would watch him take down the rod and fishing basket, sit beside him singing while he checked his gear, and rub against his leg as he prepared his usual sandwich, as if to say, “Don’t forget a bite for me; I’m going fishing too.” Then she would trot by his side the whole way, feeling as proud as can be, to the distant stream. She would anxiously watch the fly skimming along, pursing her lips and letting out little excited squeals of delight whenever a fish surfaced to nibble. When a trout was caught, she would immediately pounce on it and take care of it. At other times, she would leap into the stream, maybe up to her neck, and start fishing for herself, feeling around with her paws along the banks, working just as hard and eagerly as any bare-legged schoolboy.

A gentleman tells me, that he once possessed a cat that made a regular habit of swimming across the river almost daily, for the purpose of killing birds in a wood on the opposite side.

A guy tells me that he once had a cat that made it a regular thing to swim across the river almost every day to catch birds in the woods on the other side.

Gibbey was a fine, large, brindled Tom. He was a noted fisherman and a daring and reckless poacher, so much so that the[Pg 144] gamekeepers threatened to kill him, whenever they could catch him. They did not mind, they said, his taking a good clean sea-trout occasionally; but the beast fished in season and out of season. In fact, Gibbey found the spawning time much more convenient than any other. When the salmon came up the shallow streams to spawn in thousands, all waggling under his very nose, and to be had for the mere lifting out, he couldn’t stand that.

Gibbey was a big, striped tomcat. He was known for being a great fisherman and a bold, reckless poacher, so much so that the[Pg 144] gamekeepers threatened to kill him whenever they managed to catch him. They didn’t mind, they said, when he occasionally took a nice sea trout; but the guy fished all the time, both in and out of season. In fact, Gibbey found the spawning season way more convenient than any other. When the salmon swam up the shallow streams to spawn in the thousands, all wriggling right in front of him, just waiting to be scooped up, he just couldn’t resist.

“Tam tint his reason a’thegither,”

“Tam lost his mind completely,”

and played terrible havoc among the poor fishes. It was not so much what he ate that the keepers grudged; but he was in the constant habit of carrying away large fish to hide for future use; and as he generally forgot where he had put them, he still went on hiding more. Sometimes, in taking a walk through the wood, you would find yourself suddenly sprawling on all fours, having trampled on one of Gibbey’s salmon. Or you are doing a little bit of gardening, and come upon a grave, and turn up what at first sight appears a newly-born infant rolled in a rag. Only one of Gibbey’s salmon. What is[Pg 145] this in the horse’s trough? Has the horse conceived? Nay, the poor brute has eaten all his oats, but he could not stomach—one of Gibbey’s salmon. Something has been making its presence felt in your bed-room for days. You dream of drains and typhoid fever, and you sprinkle Rimmell’s toilet vinegar and burn pastiles in vain. Even the immortal Condy fails to lay the dread thing. At last you peep below the bed, and with the tongs pull out—what?—only one of Gibbey’s salmon.

and caused serious trouble for the poor fish. It wasn’t so much the fish he ate that the keepers minded; it was his constant habit of taking away large fish to stash for later. Since he usually forgot where he hid them, he just kept hiding more. Sometimes, while walking through the woods, you would suddenly find yourself on all fours after stepping on one of Gibbey’s salmon. Or you might be doing a little gardening, and stumble upon a grave, only to uncover what looks like a newly-born baby wrapped in a rag. Just one of Gibbey’s salmon. What is[Pg 145] this in the horse’s trough? Has the horse given birth? No, the poor creature has eaten all its oats, but couldn’t digest—one of Gibbey’s salmon. Something has been making its presence known in your bedroom for days. You dream of drains and typhoid fever, and you sprinkle Rimmell’s toilet vinegar and burn incense to no avail. Even the legendary Condy can’t get rid of the awful thing. Finally, you peek under the bed and, using the tongs, pull out—what?—just one of Gibbey’s salmon.

For nine long years this cat managed to evade the law, and escape the itching fingers of the keepers. At last, however, poor Gilbert was trapped and slain.

For nine long years, this cat managed to dodge the law and escape the grasp of the keepers. But finally, poor Gilbert was caught and killed.

One day, when out shooting, I met a large white cat. He was coming trotting along the foot-path, and wore about his neck what I took to be a very tasteful thing in cravats. It was of a dark colour, and he held one end of it in his mouth in a meditative sort of way. I was going to ask this cat if he felt afraid of catching cold; but he appeared to shun me, took another direction, and entered[Pg 146] the door of a small cottage, still wearing the mysterious cravat, and still keeping one end of it thoughtfully in his mouth, so that I felt quite puzzled, and laid down my gun to scratch my head. I hate to be done. Five minutes afterwards I was at the cottage door. A pleasant little woman answered my knock.

One day, while I was out shooting, I came across a big white cat. He was trotting down the path and was wearing what I assumed was a very stylish necktie. It was dark in color, and he held one end of it in his mouth in a thoughtful way. I was going to ask this cat if he was worried about catching a cold, but he seemed to avoid me, turned another way, and went through the door of a small cottage, still wearing the strange necktie and keeping one end of it pensively in his mouth. This left me quite confused, and I put down my gun to scratch my head. I hate feeling perplexed. Five minutes later, I was at the cottage door. A nice little woman answered my knock.

“Might I trouble you for a glass of water?”

“Could I please get a glass of water?”

“Certainly, sir; but would you not come in, and have a drink of nice sweet whey?”

“Sure, sir; but why don’t you come in and have a drink of nice sweet whey?”

I would. Tom was singing on the hearth, but he had laid aside the wrap—it was nowhere to be seen.

I would. Tom was singing by the fireplace, but he had taken off the wrap—it was nowhere in sight.

“That’s a fine cat you’ve got,” said I, when I had finished my whey.

"That's a nice cat you have," I said when I had finished my whey.

“He is, sir; everybody admires our Tom.”

“He is, sir; everyone admires our Tom.”

“He has caught cold, I think?”

“He has caught a cold, I think?”

“Dear me! no, sir.”

“Wow, no way, sir.”

“A little sore throat, perhaps?”

“Maybe a slight sore throat?”

“No, no, Tom was never better in his life.”

“No, no, Tom has never been better in his life.”

“Then, my good woman, excuse me if I seem rude; but why—why on earth does he wear a cravat out of doors?”

“Then, my good woman, excuse me if I seem rude; but why—why on earth does he wear a scarf outside?”

[Pg 147]“A cravat!” cried she. “Our Tom wear a cravat!”

[Pg 147]“A tie!” she exclaimed. “Our Tom wears a tie!”

Then the pleasant little woman laughed till her pleasant little sides shook and the tears ran out of her pleasant little eyes; and her laughing was so pleasantly infectious that I was constrained to join her, and we both laughed till roof and rafters rang again. It was pleasant, though I did not know what I was laughing at; only I had a slight inkling that somehow or other I had made a mighty fool of myself. When at last she did get a word out, it was,—

Then the cheerful woman laughed so hard that her whole body shook and tears streamed down her joyful face; her laughter was so contagious that I couldn't help but join in, and we both laughed until the roof and rafters echoed. It was fun, even though I had no idea what we were laughing about; I only had a slight sense that I had somehow made a complete fool of myself. When she finally managed to say something, it was,—

“Oh! sir, you’re an awful gowk.[3] It was an eel.”

“Oh! Sir, you’re such a fool.[3] It was an eel.”

An eel, was it! The cravat was an eel! And I was “an awful gowk!” Well, I always guessed I was; but then she said it so pleasantly, and as soon as she said it off she went again. I thought it was time I was going off too; so bidding her good morning, I did, and left her laughing—such a pleasant little woman!

An eel, was it! The cravat was an eel! And I was “an awful fool!” Well, I always suspected I was; but she said it in such a nice way, and as soon as she said it, she was gone again. I figured it was time for me to leave too; so I said good morning to her, and I did, leaving her laughing—what a lovely little woman!

Millers’ cats in the country are, almost[Pg 148] without exception, fond of taking to the water in pursuit of prey. I know an instance of a cat bred and reared at a flour mill: it was a universal custom with this pussy to watch by the dam-side, where she might have been seen at any time either in winter or summer. She used to run along the edge of the water in full tilt after a trout until it stopped; then, seeming to take aim for a few seconds, she would dive down like an arrow from a bow, and never failed to land the fish. She was also great in catching water-rats, which she seized and killed as eagerly and speedily as any English terrier would.

Millers’ cats in the country almost[Pg 148] always love to jump into the water to hunt. I know of one cat that was born and raised at a flour mill: it was a common thing for this cat to sit by the edge of the dam, where you could see her at any time of the year, winter or summer. She would sprint alongside the water after a trout until it stopped moving; then, seeming to aim for a few seconds, she'd dive in like an arrow from a bow and never missed catching the fish. She was also skilled at catching water rats, which she grabbed and killed as eagerly and quickly as any English terrier would.

But not only can cats swim and fish, but they have been known to teach their offspring to do so; and a knowledge of the gentle art has been transmitted in some cat families down to the third and fourth generation.

But not only can cats swim and fish, but they’ve also been known to teach their kittens how to do it; and a knowledge of this skill has been passed down in some cat families for three or four generations.

At the mill of P——, in Aberdeenshire, some years ago, there lived a cat, an excellent swimmer and fisher, and as fond of the water as an Irish spaniel. When fishing,[Pg 149] she did not confine herself to any one portion of the stream; and whether deep or shallow it was all one to pussy. The boys, too, of the neighbourhood were not long in finding out, that, by whatever part of the rivulet they saw the miller’s cat watching, there they would find trout in greatest abundance.

At the mill of P——, in Aberdeenshire, several years ago, there was a cat who was an excellent swimmer and fisherman, just as fond of the water as an Irish spaniel. When she went fishing,[Pg 149] she didn’t stick to any one spot in the stream; whether it was deep or shallow didn’t matter to her. The neighborhood boys quickly discovered that wherever they saw the miller’s cat watching, that’s where they would find the most trout.

This cat not only fished herself, but taught her children to do so too. The way in which she managed this was very amusing, and shows how extremely sagacious feline nature is. When the kittens came of sufficient age, she would entice them down, some fine sunny day to a part of the stream, where the water was very clear and shallow. Here the smaller trout-fry and minnows would be gambolling; and, making a spring, pussy would seize one of these and bring it out alive. After letting it jump about for some little time, to amuse the kittens and attract their undivided attention, she would kill and return it to the stream, jumping after it and playing with it in the water to entice a kitten in. Thus, in course of time, the[Pg 150] kittens could all swim and fish, and rivalled even their mother in quickness and daring.

This cat not only caught fish for herself but also taught her kittens how to do it. The way she managed this was quite amusing and shows just how clever cats can be. When the kittens were old enough, she would lure them down on a sunny day to a clear, shallow part of the stream. There, the smaller trout and minnows would be playing around; and with a quick jump, she would catch one and bring it out alive. After letting it bounce around for a while to entertain the kittens and grab their full attention, she would kill it and return it to the water, jumping after it and playing with it to entice a kitten in. Over time, all the kittens learned to swim and fish, even matching their mother in speed and bravery.

If space permitted, I could give many more instances of pussy’s fishing exploits; but I think I have said sufficient to prove, that they are not so averse to wet their pumps as some people imagine. I have a fine tom-kitten which I intend training to catch fish. The future adventures of this kitten will be related in the Animal World.

If I had more space, I could share many more stories about the cat's fishing adventures; but I believe I've provided enough evidence to show that they're not as opposed to getting their paws wet as some people think. I have a great male kitten that I plan to train to catch fish. The future adventures of this kitten will be shared in the Animal World.

 

 


CHAPTER XV.

THE ADVENTURES OF BLINKS.

Blinks' Adventures.

 

A Tale of a Kitten, in Ten “Mews.”

A Story About a Kitten, in Ten "Mews."

 

Dramatis Personæ.

Cast of Characters.

1. Blinks—the son of Muffie.

Blinks—the son of Muffie.

2. Muffie—the mother of Blinks and queen of cats.

2. Muffin—the mom of Blinks and queen of cats.

3 Pretty Dick—a starling who speaks oftener than he is spoken to.

3 Pretty Boy—a starling that talks more than he gets talked to.

4. The Ogre—The Author.

4. The Ogre—The Writer.

5. Theodore Nero—champion Newfoundland.

Theodore Nero—Newfoundland champion.

6. The Cricket of the Hearth.

6. The Cricket on the Hearth.

 

Mew 1.

The Birth of Blinks.

The Birth of Blinks.

The entrance into the world, of the immortal hero of the following adventures, is veiled in the darkest and most inky obscurity. Whence he came, or where he had resided previous to his arrival, no one can tell. All that is positively known about the matter is[Pg 152] this: I, the writer, retired to rest about ten by the clock on a cold and sleety night in winter. Previous to jumping into bed, I, as usual, locked, barred, and bolted the door of my room, then, candle in hand, I peeped in below the bed, keeked into the cupboard and under the toilet-table, and even cast an eye up the chimney, in order to be certain there were no robbers or midnight assassins concealed in the premises. Being satisfied that the only occupants of the room besides myself were Nero, Muffie, and Pretty Dick, I extinguished the candle and crept quietly beneath the sheets. Now at that time there was no Blinks. Well, in the morning, like a good old boy, I awoke at seven; and after rubbing my eyes and untying my flannel night-cap, I put my hand once more below the bed-clothes, for I could distinctly feel something moving on my breast. I seized and hauled this something forth to the blessed light of day, and lo! and behold!—Blinks—blind little Blinks!

The entrance of the immortal hero in the upcoming adventures is shrouded in the darkest obscurity. No one can say where he came from or where he had been before his arrival. What’s definitely known is[Pg 152] this: I, the writer, went to bed around ten o’clock on a cold, wintry night with sleet falling. Before I jumped into bed, I locked, barred, and bolted my bedroom door as usual, then, candle in hand, I looked under the bed, peeked in the cupboard, checked under the dressing table, and even glanced up the chimney to make sure no robbers or midnight assassins were hiding around. Satisfied that the only other occupants in the room besides me were Nero, Muffie, and Pretty Dick, I blew out the candle and quietly crawled under the sheets. At that moment, there was no Blinks. The next morning, like a good boy, I woke up at seven; after rubbing my eyes and taking off my flannel nightcap, I reached under the covers again because I felt something moving on my chest. I grabbed and pulled this something into the light of day, and lo and behold!—Blinks—blind little Blinks!

“Good heavens!” cried I in astonishment, for the windows were fastened, the door still[Pg 153] closed, and the key-hole not unreasonably large, “where in the name of all creation did you come from?” And Blinks replied in a whisper; but I could not catch what he said.

“Good heavens!” I exclaimed in surprise, because the windows were shut, the door was still[Pg 153] closed, and the keyhole wasn’t exactly big, “where in the world did you come from?” Blinks answered in a whisper, but I couldn’t hear what he said.

Now, from some concomitant circumstances—namely, the birth of five kittens on the evening of the same eventful day—all of whom were consigned to a watery grave next morning, as soon as they had taken breakfast—I say from these circumstances, I think there can be little doubt but that Blinks is the son of my beloved cat and faithful servant Muffie; and that the name of his other parent is, and must ever remain, a mystery. Blinks was a lovely kitten, and is a lovelier cat. Of the brightest and most varied tortoise-shell, with stately limbs and bushy curling tail, he stalks abroad, a very prince among the feline tribes. His paws are white as mountain snow; and when he presents one to a human friend, it feels as soft as the finest velvet. But woe be to the mouse, or rat, or rabbit, on whom those paws descend, for sharp and deadly are the daggers hidden between those[Pg 154] silken toes. His ears are long, his brow is broad, and his eyes beam with intelligence; love seems to float in their liquid depths as he purrs to some fair young lady cat, but fires of hate and scorn flash from them as he gazes on a feline foe. Such is Blinks.

Now, due to some related events—specifically, the birth of five kittens on the evening of that memorable day—all of whom met a watery end the next morning after breakfast—I believe it’s clear that Blinks is the son of my beloved cat and loyal friend Muffie; the identity of his other parent will remain a mystery forever. Blinks was a beautiful kitten, and he’s an even more beautiful cat now. With a bright and varied tortoiseshell coat, elegant limbs, and a fluffy curled tail, he walks around like a prince among cats. His paws are as white as fresh snow, and when he offers one to a human friend, it feels as soft as the finest velvet. But woe to the mouse, rat, or rabbit that those paws land on, for sharp and deadly claws are hidden between those silken toes. His ears are long, his forehead is broad, and his eyes shine with intelligence; love seems to glow in their depths as he purrs to a lovely lady cat, but fires of hatred and scorn flash from them when he looks at a rival cat. Such is Blinks.

 

Mewtwo.

Blinks’s Eyes.

Blinks's Eyes.

When another week had glided slowly away, and the earth—this world into which Blinks had been so unceremoniously thrust—had made seven somersaults and was preparing for the eighth, Blinks, who was gently reclining in his mother’s arms, opened his little red mouth and whispered—

When another week had passed by slowly, and the earth—this world that Blinks had been so abruptly thrown into—had completed seven full turns and was getting ready for the eighth, Blinks, who was comfortably resting in his mother’s arms, opened his little red mouth and whispered—

“My ma!”

“My mom!”

“Yes, my chee-ild,” Muffie replied.

“Yes, my child,” Muffie replied.

“When will I get eyes? Ever, my Ma?”

“When will I get eyes? Will I ever, Mom?”

“Yes, my chee-ild.”

"Yes, my child."

“When, my Ma?”

"When, Mom?"

“On the ninth day, my chee-ild,” said Muffie. She spoke in a mournful tone of[Pg 155] voice, for she had not yet ceased to lament the untimely fate of her other five children.

“On the ninth day, my child,” said Muffie. She spoke in a sad tone of[Pg 155] voice, for she had not yet stopped mourning the early loss of her other five children.

“Oh my eyes!” cried Blinks, not heeding his mother’s grief, “won’t it be a jolly lark!” and straightway he sucked himself to sleep.

“Oh my eyes!” cried Blinks, ignoring his mother’s sadness, “won’t it be a fun adventure!” and right away he sucked his thumb and fell asleep.

Strange, is it not, that any mortal creature should sleep without any eyes to sleep with; but so it was, Blinks slept.

Strange, isn’t it, that any living being should sleep without any eyes to sleep with; but that’s how it was, Blinks slept.

 

Mew III.

Blinks opens his Eyes. His first thrilling Adventure.

Blinks opens his eyes. His first exciting adventure.

The ninth day dawned, a day to be big with the fate of the young and innocent Blinks, who was on that auspicious morning to open his eyes for the first time, on a world that, heretofore, had been as dark to him as if he had been living in an empty stone bottle with the cork in, or like a frog in a buried teapot, or like a toad in a stone. This day the cork of the bottle—so to speak—was to be drawn, the teapot dug up, the stone to be broken. He had innocently asked his mamma, where the eyes were to[Pg 156] come from; and she, in the beautiful imagery, which only Muffie could make use of, told him that a wee angel cattie, with snowy fur and wings all golden, would fly gently down while he slept, and, hovering over him softly insert a little bright eye on each side of his head, and by-and-by he would awake and—see.

The ninth day arrived, a day that would shape the future of the young and innocent Blinks, who that special morning was set to open his eyes for the first time to a world that until now had been as dark to him as if he had been living in an empty stone bottle with the cork in, like a frog in a buried teapot, or like a toad in a stone. On this day, the cork of the bottle—so to speak—was to be pulled out, the teapot dug up, and the stone broken. He had innocently asked his mom where his eyes would come from; and she, using the beautiful imagery that only Muffie could create, told him that a little angel kitty, with snowy fur and golden wings, would gently fly down while he slept, and, hovering over him, would softly place a bright little eye on each side of his head, and eventually he would wake up and—see.

Well, the sun rose,—the bats and the owls all went to roost in haunted castles and lonely groves, cocks clapped their wings and crew, hedgehogs fell asleep among the dewy grass, and weary authors went to bed; but Blinks like one of the ten foolish virgins, slumbered and slept. Why slumbereth our hero? Blinks had determined to lie awake the whole of the preceding and eventful night, in order to meet the first glimpse of the early dawn with open eyes, and study the wonders of nature with his newly acquired sense of sight. I say, this is what Blinks had determined to do; it isn’t by any means what he did do, for long before the shadows of night had begun to battle with the light of coming morn, poor weary[Pg 157] Blinks’s eyes—only half open—were sealed in sleep, and so he slept far into the day. His fond mother had eaten her matutinal meal and lain down again to watch him; Nero had had his breakfast and a long walk with his master; the starling had been piping and chattering from an early hour; carts and cars and carriages had been rolling and rattling past; trains had shrieked, and puffed, and stopped, and backed, and puffed, and gone on again; and still Blinks was slumbering.

Well, the sun rose—the bats and owls took refuge in haunted castles and lonely groves, roosters flapped their wings and crowed, hedgehogs fell asleep in the dewy grass, and tired writers went to bed; but Blinks, like one of the ten foolish virgins, dozed off. Why is our hero sleeping? Blinks meant to stay awake the entire eventful night to greet the first light of dawn with open eyes and take in the beauty of nature with his newly acquired sense of sight. I say, this is what Blinks *had* planned to do; it’s definitely not what he *actually* did, because long before the shadows of night started to fight with the light of morning, poor tired Blinks’s eyes—only half open—were closed in sleep, and he continued to sleep deep into the day. His loving mother had eaten her breakfast and laid back down to watch him; Nero had his breakfast and a long walk with his owner; the starling had been singing and chattering since early morning; carts, trucks, and carriages had been rolling and rattling by; trains had shrieked, puffed, stopped, backed up, puffed, and moved on again; and still, Blinks was asleep.

A very prolonged scream from an express train awoke him at last, however; and our young hero sprang to his feet, gave a jerk with his brows, a nod of his head, and behold! his eyes, like the eyes of Adam and Eve, were opened; and, like Tam o’ Shanter,

A loud scream from a passing train finally woke him up; and our young hero jumped to his feet, raised his eyebrows, nodded his head, and look! his eyes, like the eyes of Adam and Eve, were opened; and, like Tam o' Shanter,

“Vow! he saw an unco’ sight!”

“Wow! He saw something really strange!”

Strange, too, that at the same moment one of Her Majesty’s ships, that lay in the bay, began to fire a salute of twenty-one guns. [Blinks here bids me say there was nothing strange about it.] No wonder then, that Blinks thought himself lord of the universe[Pg 158] and monarch of all he surveyed; no wonder—a pair of real eyes and a salute of twenty-one guns. Ho! ho!

Strange, too, that at the same moment one of Her Majesty’s ships, which was anchored in the bay, started firing a salute of twenty-one guns. [Blinks here asks me to mention that there was nothing strange about it.] No surprise then, that Blinks considered himself the ruler of the universe[Pg 158] and king of everything he could see; no surprise—a pair of real eyes and a salute of twenty-one guns. Ho! ho!

Funny-looking eyes they were too; light grey and glassy, and with scarcely any visible pupils or centre-bits. Blinks stood for a moment, evidently in a very undecided frame of mind, like one who has too much to do and can’t tell where to begin. He appeared to be looking very earnestly, and inquiringly at nothing in particular, and was withal rather shaky about the extremities. It was only for a minute however, for, on turning his head on a pivot, his eyes fell on the well-pleased and admiring face of his mamma, who had paused in the very act of washing her face with a spittle or two, that she might gaze on her youthful prodigy. So intent, indeed, was she, that she did not even lower the fist she had been licking; but sat with it raised in an attitude of such grace and beauty, that, had it been done in the theatre royal, would have brought down the house. Now, although Blinks had had a long and intimate acquaintance, with his[Pg 159] mother’s honest face, it must be remembered that he only knew her by the touch or feel; and not having seen her before, how should he, Blinks, be expected to tell who or what she, he, or it was that now gazed on his face?

They had really strange eyes too; light grey and shiny, with hardly any visible pupils. Blinks stood there for a moment, clearly unsure of himself, like someone who has too much going on and can't figure out where to start. He seemed to be staring intently, and questioningly, at nothing in particular, and looked a bit shaky overall. But it was only for a minute because when he turned his head, his eyes landed on the pleased and admiring face of his mom, who had stopped washing her face mid-process just to look at her youthful wonder. She was so focused that she didn't even put down the hand she had been licking; instead, she held it up in a pose of such grace and beauty that, if it were on a stage, it would have gotten a standing ovation. Now, even though Blinks had spent a lot of time with his mom's honest face, it’s important to note that he only knew her by touch; since he had never actually seen her before, how could he, Blinks, be expected to recognize who or what was looking at him now?

“Might it not,” thought Blinks, “be some dreadful foe? Good heavens! might it not be a wild mouse?”

“Might it not,” thought Blinks, “be some terrible enemy? Good heavens! could it be a wild mouse?”

The thought was certainly alarming enough, and he determined to, at once, act on the offensive; so, as a commencement of hostilities, he gave a warlike leap backwards, “in order,” as he afterwards remarked, “to make the spring the more dreadful.” This backward leap did to be sure cause him to lose his balance. [Blinks here begs me to substitute the word “equilibrium” for “balance,” as the latter is not soldier-like, and reminds him of shop-keepers and such.] Having found his balance [“Beastly!” says Blinks,—who, as I write, is sitting on and looking over my shoulder,—“beastly English! Can’t you say, ‘regained his centre of gravity,’ you dolt.”] Well, well, Blinks got on his pins again; then was his back erected like unto[Pg 160] a Gothic arch, on which the hair did bristle like unto a fretful porcupine, or a cheap ham; his tail was transformed into a miniature bottle-brush, and from his jaws came a sound, intended to be at least awe-inspiring, but which an impudent author might liken to the striking of a lucifer-match. All this was but the work of a second, and only preparatory to a grand spring—a spring which, it is needless to say, would have resulted in the total demolition of all good looks in the face of his worthy parent. But, just then, struck with admiration at the pluck of her son, Muffie burst into a song of praise.

The thought was definitely alarming, and he decided to take the offensive immediately; so, as the start of the conflict, he made a dramatic leap backward, “to make the spring even more terrifying,” as he later explained. This backward leap did cause him to lose his balance. [Blinks here insists I replace “balance” with “equilibrium,” since the former isn’t very soldier-like and reminds him of shopkeepers.] Managing to regain his balance [“Awful!” says Blinks—who, as I write, is sitting on my shoulder—“awful English! Can’t you say ‘regained his center of gravity,’ you fool.”] Alright, Blinks got back on his feet; then his back arched like a Gothic arch, his fur bristled like a cranky porcupine or a cheap ham; his tail turned into a tiny bottle-brush, and from his mouth came a sound that was meant to be fearsome, but an impudent author might compare it to the sound of striking a match. All this took just a second and was only a lead-up to a big spring—a spring that would have completely destroyed any good looks on his parent's face. But just then, struck by admiration for her son's courage, Muffie burst into a song of praise.

Blinks listened.

Blinks was listening.

He closed his eyes, and listened again.

He closed his eyes and listened once more.

“That voice!” he cried, “them music!—it is—it is my ma.”

“That voice!” he exclaimed, “that music!—it is—it’s my mom.”

“My chee-ild! my chee-ild!” cried the fond parent; and Blinks, in the twinkling of—of—of a little star, was encircled by the hairy arms of his dear dam with a tit[4] in each hand, and one in his mouth.

“My child! my child!” cried the loving parent; and Blinks, in the blink of a little star, was surrounded by the hairy arms of his dear mother with a tit[4] in each hand, and one in his mouth.

[Pg 161]Then, and not till then, did pretty Dick say, “Bravo! bravo!”

[Pg 161]Then, and only then, did cute Dick say, “Bravo! Bravo!”

 

Mew 4.

Further Adventures of Blinks.

Blinks' Next Adventures.

After the dreadful adventure related in chapter third, exhausted nature coveted nutrition; that is, Blinks felt thirsty, and for the suck-seeding [succeeding] sixty minutes, Blinks was busily engaged discussing a dinner of tit-bits. He wandered from one tit to another, and from the other tit to the next, and so on to the last, and then back again to the first.

After the terrible adventure described in chapter three, Blinks was really craving something to eat. For the next hour, he was busy talking about a dinner of tasty treats. He went from one treat to another, and then from that one to the next, and so on until he reached the last one, and then he went back to the first.

Couldn’t he stick to one tit? “No, sirree!” Blinks would have replied, “the foremost tits contain butter, the next cream, the next sweet milk, and the last whey. My brethren and sistren should have got the whey—they should, but then my brethren were drowned in the sistren [cistern]—good joke, that, for a nine-days’ wonder. Eh?”

Couldn’t he just pick one kind? “No way!” Blinks would say, “the first ones have butter, the next have cream, the next has sweet milk, and the last has whey. My brothers and sisters should have gotten the whey—they should have, but then my brothers drowned in the sister [cistern]—good one, right, for a nine-day wonder. Huh?”

Having at length satisfied the cravings of[Pg 162] nature, and filled his belly [Blinks fainted when he heard this expression, and on reviving bade me, try again], well, then having laid up a little store of the lacteal fluid, against further claims for sustenance, Blinks carefully put aside the skim-milk tit, as a thing all very good in its way, but which a hero 216 hours old, and with real eyes, ought to despise. He laid it past, and wheeling carefully round on one end, stood up, staggered for an instant, and finally reopened his new organs as wide as he could, and stared right in front of him, apparently with no very decided intention of what to do or how to do it. Just then there fell upon his listening ears—he had two, one for each eye, and was very proud of them too—a sound which made him start and turn red, so to speak, with indignation.

Having finally satisfied his natural cravings and filled his stomach, [Blinks fainted when he heard this expression, and on reviving bade me, try again], well, after storing up a little of the milky fluid for future needs, Blinks carefully set aside the skim-milk option, recognizing it as something perfectly fine, but which a hero just a few hours old, and with real eyes, should look down on. He placed it aside and, turning carefully onto one end, stood up, staggered for a moment, and finally opened his new senses as wide as he could, staring straight ahead, seemingly without any clear plan or idea of what to do next. Just then, he heard a sound that made him start and turn red, so to speak, with indignation.

“Was it possible?” he mused. “Did his ears deceive him? Did he hear a laugh? A laugh! nay, even a sneer, a low snigger.”

“Could it be?” he wondered. “Were his ears tricking him? Did he hear laughter? Laughter! No, even a sneer, a quiet snicker.”

He gazed steadily in the direction from which the noise seemed to proceed; and “dang his eyes” if it wasn’t repeated,[Pg 163] wantonly repeated, daringly done again; and evidently the insult was aimed at him, for there, not many miles away, at most, were two great round goggle eyes a-glowering at him over a book, and a horrid great fleshy face all round them, with tufts of bristly hairs hanging from the cheeks, and a mouth with lips from which again came the sneer—the low insulting snigger.

He stared intently in the direction of the noise; and “damn it” if it wasn’t repeated, [Pg 163] wantonly repeated, defiantly done again; and it was clear the insult was aimed at him, because there, not far away, at most just a couple of miles, were two huge, round, glaring eyes looking at him over a book, surrounded by a huge, ugly face, with tufts of bristly hair hanging from the cheeks, and a mouth with lips that sneered—the low, insulting snicker.

Now Blinks, in the days of his darkness, had often heard the same despicable sound; and Blinks’s mamma called the voice Master.

Now Blinks, during his dark times, had often heard that same awful sound; and Blinks's mom referred to the voice as Master.

“What!” thought he, “Blinks have a master! Blinks, the nine days’ wonder! Blinks, with two real eyes! But, dash those same two eyes! the thought was slavish. No, he wouldn’t give a suck for himself if he would bear it; and then that laugh, that snigger—come, he would at once go on the war-path, find out this ogre which his mamma,—the old idgit [idiot]—called master; and demolish for ever, and crush into the minutest smithereens, the mouth that dared to sneer, the lips that dared to snigger. Dash his eyes if he didn’t, that was all.”

“What!” he thought, “Blinks has a master! Blinks, the nine days' wonder! Blinks, with two real eyes! But, damn those same two eyes! That thought was pathetic. No, he wouldn’t care for himself at all if he could put up with it; and then that laugh, that snicker—fine, he would immediately go on the offensive, find this ogre that his mom—the old idiot—called master; and destroy once and for all, and crush to the tiniest bits, the mouth that dared to sneer, the lips that dared to snicker. Damn his eyes if he didn’t, that was that.”

[Pg 164]“Walking was difficult, though,” so Blinks continued to muse and talk, “over a confounded rug too. Would his ma kindly take her stupid, awkward-looking stump of a tail out of his way? So-ho-oh! Gently! Hang it all!”

[Pg 164]“Walking was tough, though,” Blinks kept thinking and talking, “over this annoying rug too. Would his mom please move her awkward, clumsy tail out of his way? Ugh! Come on! Easy now! Seriously!”

With this last exclamation Blinks tumbled off the rug, fell three long inches through the air, and screamed lustily for his ma.

With that final shout, Blinks rolled off the rug, dropped three long inches through the air, and hollered loudly for his mom.

“My ma! my ma!” roared Blinks.

“My mom! my mom!” roared Blinks.

“My chee-ild! my chee-ild!” cried his ma, “I am with thee, my chee-ild;” and he was forthwith carried by the nape of his warlike neck to his downy bed, and—happy thought—he would have a drink, and then ask his ma to get him a little golden carriage, with four white mice as horses, and a boy-mouse in buttons behind. For why? He, Blinks, was never made to walk, nor meant to walk, nor did he mean to walk; for it was mean to walk, and he couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t. So from thinking Blinks came to dreaming; then he once more slumbered and slept, while his mother, sitting over him, nodded and sang.

“My child! my child!” cried his mom, “I’m with you, my child;” and he was promptly carried by the back of his neck to his soft bed, and—happy thought—he would have a drink, and then ask his mom to get him a little golden carriage, with four white mice as horses, and a boy-mouse in buttons behind. Why? He, Blinks, was never meant to walk, nor did he want to walk; for walking was beneath him, and he couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t. So from thinking, Blinks drifted into dreaming; then he once again dozed off while his mom, sitting beside him, nodded and sang.

Mew V.

The Ogre. Blinks Goes Abroad into the World.

The Ogre. Blinks Goes Abroad.

But it was fated that Blinks should not slumber long; he was soon awakened by the rattling of plates; or, to speak more poetically,

But it was meant to be that Blinks wouldn’t sleep for long; he was soon awakened by the rattling of plates; or, to put it more poetically,

The deafening din of dindling delf,
The clinking clang of knife and fork,
As some poor wretch regaled himself
On early greens and roasted pork.

The loud noise of dishes clattering,
The clinking sound of a knife and fork,
As some unfortunate soul enjoyed himself
With spring greens and roasted pork.

He gazed in the direction of the sound, which seemed to him like the noise of fifty bulls and a corresponding number of steam-hammers turned loose in a china-shop. The goggle-eyed ogre was feeding himself. His huge form was perched aloft on a wooden erection supported by four massive pillars. In one hand he held a large knife, bigger than Blinks’s body; in the other he grasped a mighty trident, and our hero gazed in mute and mewless astonishment, at the immense shovelfuls of mash, and the tremendous lumps of sodden flesh the gigantic monster made disappear down his maw, and the oceans of coloured water that went gurgling[Pg 166] down his gullet. Then began Blinks to reason with himself and commune with his own thoughts, after the following fashion: “The world must be rid of such a monster, the Herculean labour must fall on him—Blinks. Would he flinch? No! Perish the thought! And then, had he better slay the ogre at once, and mingle his blood with his Irish stew, or wait until he had gorged himself.” The latter plan, after much deliberation, our young and hairy hero determined to adopt; for and because, no doubt, and to wit, in all probability after the ogre had eaten his fill, he would give a grunt like a satisfied mother-sow, give a grunt, tumble down in a corner, and sleep for a fortnight; and Blinks swore by every hair in his (Blinks’s) whiskers, he never again should wake in this world.

He looked toward the noise, which sounded to him like a herd of fifty bulls mixed with a bunch of steam hammers going off in a china shop. The goggle-eyed giant was having a meal. His enormous body was perched on a wooden platform held up by four massive pillars. In one hand, he held a huge knife, bigger than Blinks, and in the other, a powerful trident. Our hero stared in speechless shock at the giant’s enormous shovelfuls of mash and the huge chunks of soaked meat that the colossal creature swallowed whole, along with the streams of colored liquid that gurgled[Pg 166] down his throat. Then Blinks started to think and reflect on his options: “The world needs to be rid of this monster; it’s my responsibility—Blinks— to do it. Would he hesitate? No! That thought can’t stand! Should he kill the ogre now and mix his blood into his Irish stew, or wait until he finished eating?” After some careful thought, the young, hairy hero decided to go with the latter plan; after all, he figured that once the ogre was full, he would likely grunt like a satisfied mother pig, collapse in a corner, and sleep for two weeks. Blinks promised, by every hair in his whiskers, that the giant would never wake up again in this world.

His mind being now fully made up, Blinks carefully washed his face, using up two spittles for that purpose. He had thought of having a bath; but then that would have taken time and ten spittles, and he was in a hurry, and deliberating had dried his[Pg 167] mouth. He then lowered himself gently over the edge of the rug, and, for the first time in his life, stood alone in the world. Many and varied were the sensations that stole over his innocent mind, as he stood for a moment to gaze wonderingly, admiringly around him. The words of Byron came to his lips,

His mind now fully made up, Blinks carefully washed his face, using two spittles for that. He had considered taking a bath, but that would have taken time and ten spittles, and he was in a hurry, and overthinking had dried his[Pg 167] mouth. He then lowered himself gently over the edge of the rug and, for the first time in his life, stood alone in the world. A mix of sensations washed over his innocent mind as he stood for a moment, gazing around him with wonder and admiration. The words of Byron came to his lips,

And now I’m in the world alone
And eating kitchen-fee,[5]
Why should I not the butter bone?
For the d——l a mouse I see.

And now I'm in the world by myself
And eating the leftovers, __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__
Why shouldn't I have the butter bone?
For the devil, I see a mouse.

“Now,” said Blinks, “I will go abroad upon the surface of the earth, and walk about to and fro like a roaring lion seeking whom I may devour.”

“Now,” said Blinks, “I will go out on the surface of the earth and wander around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

“My chee-ild! my chee-ild!” cried his fond and doating dam from the rug.

“My child! my child!” cried his loving and devoted mother from the rug.

“Your grandmother!” answered the irreverent son.

“Your grandma!” replied the cheeky son.

“Stay, oh! stay,” exclaimed his sorrowing parent, catching a fly and swallowing it in her anguish. “Stay, my too sensitive chee-ild, and recline your little head on this here hairy bosom.”

“Please, oh! please,” cried his heartbroken mother, catching a fly and swallowing it in her distress. “Stay, my overly sensitive child, and rest your little head on this hairy chest.”

[Pg 168]“Which is much too hot to be happy,” said Blinks.

[Pg 168]“It’s way too hot to be happy,” Blinks said.

“Oh! stay with me,” continued Muffie. “Will you not be the prop of my declining years?”

“Oh! stay with me,” continued Muffie. “Will you not be the support of my later years?”

“Never a prop,” quo’ Blinks.

“Never a prop,” says Blinks.

“Then,” said the parent, “I myself abroad shall go.”

“Then,” said the parent, “I will go abroad myself.”

But Blinks was off, crying, “Not for Joe.”

But Blinks was off, crying, “Not for Joe.”

 

Mew 6.

A Terrible Sight.

A Horrible Sight.

Carefully advancing one foot a time, our young hero slowly made his way across what appeared to him an interminable desert. The ground was soft and mossy, and here and there clusters of mighty pillars (which he afterwards found were called chair-legs) towered skywards. He passed a great many strange things, and heard a great many strange sounds that he could not tell the meaning of; at last he arrived at the foot of[Pg 169] a tall iron wall (the fender?), round which he waddled for many a feline mile; but finding no gate at which to knock, he resolved to scale the barrier and solve the mystery. So he raised himself on his hind-legs, thinking at the same time how handy hind-legs were, and how happy he was to possess such appendages; then he gazed over the wall. The sight that was presented to him, would have turned a hero less brave into whinstone. But Blinks was Blinks.

Carefully moving one foot at a time, our young hero slowly made his way across what seemed like an endless desert. The ground was soft and mossy, and here and there clusters of mighty pillars (which he later learned were called chair-legs) reached up towards the sky. He passed a lot of strange things and heard many odd sounds that he couldn’t understand; finally, he reached the base of[Pg 169] a tall iron wall (the fender?), around which he waddled for miles; but finding no gate to knock on, he decided to climb over the barrier and uncover the mystery. So he stood up on his hind legs, thinking about how useful hind legs were and how happy he was to have them; then he looked over the wall. The view that greeted him would have turned a less brave hero to stone. But Blinks was Blinks.

It appeared to be a great blazing volcano, surrounded, or rather ribbed in, by gigantic bars of steel; in fact it looked like a small bad-place, in which he had no doubt the souls of dogs, and the gizzards of birds were getting purified of their sins. On the top thereof was a mighty cauldron, and the steam therefrom rose in dense clouds, and disappeared in the blackness of darkness; and there was much smoke and flame, and a loud spluttering noise, accompanied by hissing and crackling. And lo! even as he gazed, a mighty ball of fire was thrown out by a small and ugly fiend, that dwelt below the[Pg 170] cauldron in the midst of the ardent element; and the ball of fire fell within a whisker-length of our gallant Blinks, who just then remembered that he was getting thirsty, and could spare time to gaze no longer. So, after casting one defiant glance at the ugly little fiend that crouched beneath the cauldron, he left the little Hades and journeyed on in quest of adventures.

It looked like a massive, fiery volcano, surrounded by huge steel bars; honestly, it resembled a small hell where the souls of dogs and the insides of birds were likely being cleansed of their sins. At the top was a huge cauldron, and steam rose from it in thick clouds, disappearing into the pitch-black darkness. There was plenty of smoke and flames, along with loud sputtering sounds, mixed with hissing and crackling. And just as he was staring at it, a gigantic fireball was shot out by a small, ugly creature that lived under the cauldron in the intense heat; the fireball landed just inches away from our brave Blinks, who then remembered he was thirsty and couldn’t waste any more time staring. So, after giving one last defiant look at the ugly little creature crouching beneath the cauldron, he left that little hell and set off in search of adventures.

 

Mew 7.

The Cricket of the Hearth. Pretty Dick.

The Cricket of the Hearth. Pretty Dick.

Blinks had not travelled many legs (leagues?) till he was met by a very funny little ill-shaped gentleman. He was like a very wee mahogany table, but not much bigger than Blinks’s mamma’s red nose (if it had been a mahogany table); and he had two big nippers hanging down in front of him; and Blinks observed that he also had too small black eyes like the points of as many needles, and very shiny they were, and altogether very knowing and wicked-looking.[Pg 171] Blinks stopped, and the little mahogany gentleman laid a dead fly on the ground, and did the same.

Blinks hadn't traveled very far when he ran into a really funny little oddly-shaped guy. He looked like a tiny mahogany table, not much bigger than Blinks's mom's red nose (if it had been a mahogany table); and he had two big pincers hanging down in front of him. Blinks noticed that he also had tiny black eyes like the points of needles, and they were very shiny, looking all too clever and mischievous.[Pg 171] Blinks stopped, and the little mahogany guy dropped a dead fly on the ground and did the same.

“Ho! ho! Mr. Fluff,” said the latter, looking up at Blinks with one eye and shutting the other, as if he had no immediate use for it, and thought that one was enough for the occasion. “Ho! ho, Mr. Fluff; so you’re learning to crawl, are you? Eh? Does your mother know you’re out? Eh?”

“Hey! hey! Mr. Fluff,” said the latter, glancing up at Blinks with one eye and closing the other, as if he wasn’t using it at the moment and felt one was enough for the situation. “Hey! hey, Mr. Fluff; so you’re learning to crawl, huh? Right? Does your mom know you’re out? Right?”

Blinks was highly indignant at this style of address, and also at being called Fluff, so he replied with considerable dignity,—

Blinks was really offended by this way of speaking to him, and also by being called Fluff, so he responded with a lot of dignity,—

“I am not Fluff, sir; I am Blinks, Blinks, sir; and I may inform you, sir, that my maternal relative is entirely cognisant of my being abroad, sir.”

“I’m not Fluff, sir; I’m Blinks, Blinks, sir; and I want to let you know, sir, that my mother is fully aware of my being out, sir.”

“Blinks, are you?” said the little fellow, not at all abashed. “Blinks! He! he! he! a pretty Blinks you are. Let me see you.” And the small brown gentleman commenced running round him so quickly, that Blinks, in trying to wheel on a pivot, fairly rolled over on his back; and the man of mahogany was forced to hold his sides with laughing.

“Are you Blinks?” said the little guy, totally unbothered. “Blinks! Ha! Ha! Ha! What a Blinks you are. Let me see you.” And the small brown man started running around him so fast that Blinks, in trying to turn quickly, completely rolled over on his back; and the brown man couldn't help but double over with laughter.

[Pg 172]“He! he! he—e!” he laughed, and “Ha! ha! haa—a!” and “Ho! ho! hoo—o!” and then “He! he! hee—e!” again; and then “Oh dear!” he cried “I shall split;” and the tears ran out of his needle points and down over his nose and nippers.

[Pg 172]“Haha!” he laughed, and “Haha!” and “Hoho!” and then “Hehe!” again; and then “Oh no!” he exclaimed, “I’m going to burst,” and tears streamed from his eyes and ran down over his nose and chin.

To say that Blinks was angry, would but poorly describe the torrent of wrath that raged within his youthful breast. After carefully gathering himself up again, he confronted the wee brown gent, and——

To say that Blinks was angry would only poorly capture the storm of fury that boiled inside him. After collecting himself once more, he faced the little brown guy, and——

“Sir,” cried Blinks, “imp or devil, tell me who you are and where you dwell; and should it even be in yonder evil-place, beneath yon horrid cauldron, a friend of mine shall wait upon you in the morning.”

“Sir,” shouted Blinks, “whether you’re an imp or a devil, tell me who you are and where you live; and even if it’s in that terrible place, under that dreadful cauldron, a friend of mine will come to see you in the morning.”

“I,” said the mahogany one, drawing himself up to his full height, which was not much after all—“I, sir—I am, sir, the cricket of the hearth, sir! the cricket—of—the—hearth, sir; and I have a good mind to pull your nose, sir;” here he shook one pair of his immense nippers; “and the nose, sir—” here he shook his other pair of nippers—“of the ignorant old lady, your mother,[Pg 173] who allows her fluffy fools of children, to trespass upon, and insult grown gentlemen on their own policies.” The little gent would have added much more; but just then he was interrupted by a loud voice, apparently in the air, making the remark—

“I,” said the mahogany one, straightening up to his full height, which wasn't very impressive after all—“I, sir—I am, sir, the cricket of the hearth, sir! the cricket—of—the—hearth, sir; and I’m seriously considering pulling your nose, sir;” here he shook one of his huge pincers; “and the nose, sir—” here he shook his other pincer—“of the clueless old lady, your mother,[Pg 173] who lets her silly children bother and insult respectable gentlemen on their own turf.” The little guy would have said a lot more; but just then he was interrupted by a loud voice, seemingly in the air, making the remark—

“Bravo! br-r-ravo! bravo!” And looking up, Blinks espied a very large bird perched on a high wooden erection; the cricket of the hearth was observed to turn very pale at the same time. I say, he turned pale; and he also turned tail, and muttering, “Fire and fury!” made off as fast as six legs could carry him.

“Bravo! br-r-ravo! bravo!” Looking up, Blinks spotted a huge bird sitting on a tall wooden post; the hearth cricket also noticeably paled at that moment. I mean, he turned pale; he also turned around and, muttering, “Fire and fury!” scurried away as quickly as six legs could manage.

“I’ll fluff you,” cried Blinks; and was about to give chase, when the bird alighted on the ground in front of him, and almost at the same time the cricket disappeared, as suddenly as if he had vanished from the face of the earth; and indeed that is precisely what he had done.

“I’ll fluff you!” shouted Blinks, ready to run after it, when the bird landed right in front of him, and almost instantly, the cricket disappeared, as if he had vanished from existence; and in fact, that’s exactly what he had done.

“Why,” said Blinks, “what has become of our little mahogany friend?”

“Why,” said Blinks, “whatever happened to our little mahogany friend?”

This question he put to the bird, who was now standing in a very ludicrous attitude,[Pg 174] with his head and neck all awry, and a big swelling or lump in his throat, as if he had been improperly hanged.

This question he asked the bird, which was now in a very silly position,[Pg 174] with its head and neck all crooked, and a large bump in its throat, like it had been haphazardly hanged.

“Did you hear me?” said Blinks, as the bird made no immediate answer and appeared slightly convulsed.

“Did you hear me?” Blinks said, as the bird didn’t respond right away and seemed to be twitching a little.

“Ca-can’t—you—see,” said Pretty Dick; for it was no other, and he spoke with great difficulty—“can’t you see—I’m—chic-chu-choking?” at last getting out the word and straightening his neck at the same time. “I ate him—bravo! Pretty Dick, whew, whew, whew;” and he burst into the “Sprig of Shillelah” and finished off with two bars of “Duncan Gray.”

“C-can’t—you—see,” said Pretty Dick; for it was no other, and he spoke with great difficulty—“can’t you see—I’m—chic-chu-choking?” finally managing to say the word and straightening his neck at the same time. “I ate him—bravo! Pretty Dick, whew, whew, whew;” and he launched into the “Sprig of Shillelah” and wrapped up with two bars of “Duncan Gray.”

“Good heavens!” cried Blinks, standing aghast, “did you real—you don’t mean to say that you positively swallowed him, you know?”

“Good heavens!” exclaimed Blinks, standing in shock, “did you really—you can’t be saying that you actually swallowed him, right?”

“Positively, damme,” said the bird. “Tse, tse, tse, whew, whew, whew; hurra, hurra, hurra! Bravo, Dick! He is now engaged turning over the stones in my gizzard and counting them; I fear I am two or three short. After that job is finished, I shall[Pg 175] bring him up again, break him in pieces, and eat him properly. Whew, whew, whew! Bravo, Dick! Sugar, snails, and brandy! Tse, tse, tse!”

“Definitely, damn,” said the bird. “Tse, tse, tse, whew, whew, whew; hurra, hurra, hurra! Great job, Dick! He's busy sorting through the stones in my gizzard and counting them; I'm afraid I'm two or three short. Once that’s done, I’ll bring him back, tear him apart, and enjoy him properly. Whew, whew, whew! Great job, Dick! Sugar, snails, and brandy! Tse, tse, tse!”

“Monstrous!” said Blinks.

"That's insane!" said Blinks.

“Is the darling starling pretty, snails?”

“Is the lovely starling pretty, snails?”

“Sir?” said Blinks.

"Excuse me?" said Blinks.

“Yes!” said Dick.

“Yep!” said Dick.

“I thought you spoke,” said Blinks.

“I thought you talked,” said Blinks.

“Oh no,” said the bird, “I often talk to myself. What is that between your toes?” So saying, the bird hopped up to Blinks, and separating his toes with his beak in a very rude manner, he gazed between them.

“Oh no,” said the bird, “I often talk to myself. What’s that between your toes?” With that, the bird hopped over to Blinks and, in a very rude way, used his beak to separate Blinks' toes and looked between them.

“Don’t do that again, if you please,” said Blinks.

“Please don’t do that again,” said Blinks.

“Certainly not, if you desire it. Cock-a-doodle-doo, sugar and brandy, pretty darling; but what is that in your nostril? Sugar, snails.” And before our hero was aware, the starling’s bill was inserted, opened like the toes of a compass, and the nose of poor Blinks nearly torn open. This was too much of a good thing; and Blinks aimed a cuff and fired a lucifer-match at the bird,[Pg 176] causing that gentleman to spring quickly backwards and ejaculate.

“Of course not, if that’s what you want. Cock-a-doodle-doo, sugar and brandy, my lovely; but what’s that in your nose? Sugar, snails.” And before our hero knew it, the starling’s beak was stuck in there, opened wide like the legs of a compass, and poor Blinks’ nose was nearly torn open. This was too much; Blinks threw a punch and shot a match at the bird,[Pg 176] causing it to jump back quickly and squawk.

“Hurrah! hurrah! you rascal! Love is the soul of a nate Irish snail, you rogue.” After which he brought up the poor cricket again; and he, glad to see day-light again, said, “Thank you, sir,” and was moving off.

“Yay! Yay! you troublemaker! Love is the essence of a nice Irish snail, you rascal.” After that, he lifted the poor cricket again; and the cricket, happy to see daylight once more, said, “Thank you, sir,” and started to leave.

“No, you don’t now!” said the bird, seizing him by the hindermost leg. “How many stones in my gizzard, you unhappy little wretch?”

“No, you don’t now!” said the bird, grabbing him by the back leg. “How many stones are in my stomach, you miserable little wretch?”

“Mercy, mercy!” cried the cricket, “I entirely forget.”

“Please, please!” cried the cricket, “I completely forgot.”

“Then down you go again,” said the starling; and down the cricket went.

“Then down you go again,” said the starling; and down the cricket went.

Blinks stood gazing, horror-stricken, when the bird, piping a few bars of a tune, wheeled suddenly round, and made a determined effort to compass out Blinks’s eye.

Blinks stood there, horrified, as the bird, chirping a few notes of a song, suddenly turned around and made a bold attempt to peck at Blinks’s eye.

“Is that an eye?” said he, as if he didn’t know.

“Is that an eye?” he asked, pretending he didn’t know.

“Rather,” said Blinks, a little proudly.

“Actually,” said Blinks, a bit proudly.

“Then give us a bit,” cried Dick. “Chickey, chick, chick; whew-w-w, whew, whew. Snails and brandy! Pretty starling! bravo!”

“Then give us a little,” shouted Dick. “Chickey, chick, chick; whew-w-w, whew, whew. Snails and brandy! Pretty starling! Bravo!”

[Pg 177]“Do you know,” said Blinks, “it strikes me you’re a fool.”

[Pg 177]“You know,” Blinks said, “it occurs to me that you’re an idiot.”

“No I ain’t,” said the bird, “only a foolosopher—always gay, you know. Love is the soul of a darling pretty starling; but I say, you know, you and I will be excellent friends, and you shall play in my cage, and I will give you sugar, snails, and brandy. Quack, quack, quack. Don’t be frightened, it’s only my fun; and now I must be off, master will want me to sing to him after dinner. He has just finished his sucking pig; he plays the fiddle and I sing. Just fly up with me on the table; but, oh! I forgot, you awkward creature,”—digging Blinks in the ribs,—“you haven’t the vestige of a wing; well, my master——”

“No, I’m not,” said the bird, “just a philosopher—always cheerful, you know. Love is the heart of a sweet little starling; but I think, you know, you and I will be great friends, and you can play in my cage, and I’ll give you sugar, snails, and brandy. Quack, quack, quack. Don’t be scared, it’s just my joke; and now I have to go, my master will want me to sing to him after dinner. He just finished his roast pig; he plays the fiddle and I sing. Just fly up with me to the table; but, oh! I forgot, you clumsy thing,”—jabbing Blinks in the ribs,—“you don’t have a single wing; well, my master——”

“The ogre?” said Blinks.

“The ogre?” asked Blinks.

“Bravo!” cried the bird, “just you call him an ogre, and he will soon have a new string to his fiddle.”

“Bravo!” shouted the bird, “Just call him an ogre, and he’ll soon have a new string for his fiddle.”

“What do you mean?” inquired Blinks.

“What do you mean?” Blinks asked.

“Why,” said the starling, “he has a pretty little box called a violin, filled with the souls of defunct cats, your brothers[Pg 178] and sisters are all there,—and their insides are made into strings, and stretched all over; and when he tickles the strings with a hair, they all cauterwaul. Master sings, and pretty Dickie sings—Chick, chick, chick; chirl, chirl, chirl. But, snails and brandy! I’m off.” And away flew the beautiful bird, who was all shiny with black and blue and silver; and Blinks sat for quite a long time gazing up after him with his lack-lustre eyes; and then, getting to his feet, he commenced walking homewards, musing on all the strange things he had seen and heard.

“Why,” said the starling, “he has a cute little box called a violin, filled with the souls of dead cats. Your brothers and sisters are all there— their insides are turned into strings, stretched all over; and when he tickles the strings with a hair, they all wail. The master sings, and pretty Dickie sings—Chick, chick, chick; chirl, chirl, chirl. But, snails and brandy! I’m outta here.” And away flew the beautiful bird, shiny with black, blue, and silver; and Blinks sat for quite a while gazing up after him with his dull eyes; and then, getting to his feet, he began walking home, thinking about all the strange things he had seen and heard.

 

Mew 8.

Terrible Adventure with a hairy Snake.

Terrible Adventure with a Hairy Snake.

Blinks’s ma lived away in a corner, on a rug of large dimensions; and he had a very long way to walk over the trackless plain, over the pathless desert, over the bounding prairie; and night too was beginning to creep down, and Blinks thought he could perceive enemies lurking in every corner,[Pg 179] and monsters hiding in every shade; so that, had he been anything less than Blinks, he would certainly have thought it worth while being afraid; but being Blinks, he marched bravely on, only just by way of caution he gave an occasional glance over his right shoulder, then one over his left, then one behind, all the while keeping a sharp look-out ahead. Happening to look round, to his astonishment he beheld something like a snake, with its head reared high in the air, apparently following his every footstep. This caused Blinks to quicken his pace. He soon looked round again. The creature, whatever it was, was still there, waving its head from side to side, and evidently looking at Blinks with all its might; although never an eye it had at all that he could see.

Blinks’s mom lived off in a corner, on a really big rug; and he had a long way to walk across the endless plain, over the desert with no path, and across the vast prairie; and night was starting to fall, and Blinks thought he could see enemies hiding in every corner,[Pg 179] and monsters lurking in every shadow; so, if he were anyone other than Blinks, he would definitely have thought it was worth being scared; but being Blinks, he pushed bravely on, just as a precaution, glancing over his right shoulder now and then, then over his left, then behind him, while keeping a sharp lookout ahead. When he happened to look back, to his surprise, he saw something that looked like a snake, with its head raised high in the air, seemingly following his every step. This made Blinks pick up his pace. He soon looked back again. The creature, whatever it was, was still there, swaying its head side to side, and clearly staring at Blinks with all its strength; although it didn’t have a single eye that he could see.

“Then,” thinks Blinks, “I’ll spring smartly round and seize it.”

“Then,” thinks Blinks, “I’ll quickly turn around and grab it.”

No sooner said than done; and brave Blinks jumped suddenly about and attempted to catch the snake—which was twice as tall as himself and covered with hair—by the throat. But the creature was too[Pg 180] wide-awake, and when Blinks turned round, so did it. So round and round spun Blinks, and round and round went the hairy serpent, and always kept directly in our hero’s rear,—when he stopped it stopped, and when he went round again it went round again. At long last poor Blinks began to feel dizzy; but he was much too brave to think of giving in, till, finally, he tumbled on his back, and then the snake peeped up between his hind legs,—that is, Blinks’s hind-legs; for serpents never have hind-legs, by any chance.

As soon as it was said, it was done; and brave Blinks jumped around and tried to grab the snake—which was twice his height and covered in hair—by the throat. But the creature was too[Pg 180] alert, and when Blinks turned around, so did it. Round and round spun Blinks, and round and round went the hairy serpent, always staying right behind our hero—when he stopped, it stopped, and when he went around again, it went around again. Eventually, poor Blinks started to feel dizzy; but he was far too brave to think about giving up, until finally, he fell on his back, and then the snake peeked up between his legs—that is, Blinks’s legs; because snakes never have back legs, under any circumstances.

“Ho! ho!” says Blinks, “Mr. Sea-snake, I’ll have ye now, without any more going about the bush.” So saying, he caught the creature by the end, just where his eyes would have been had he had any,—he caught it, and bit it; and as he did so, Blinks himself uttered a sharp cry of pain, and bit the snake again, and then cried again, and licked the part of the snake he had bitten tenderly with his tongue; this went on with great vigour for a length of time. At last Blinks desisted, and—

“Ho! ho!” says Blinks, “Mr. Sea-snake, I’ve got you now, without any more beating around the bush.” With that, he grabbed the creature by the end, right where its eyes would have been if it had any—he caught it and bit it; and as he did so, Blinks himself let out a sharp cry of pain, bit the snake again, then cried out again, and gently licked the spot on the snake he had bitten with his tongue; this continued energetically for quite a while. Finally, Blinks stopped, and—

“Well, I’m jiggered,” says he, “if it isn’t[Pg 181] a part of myself I’ve been a-running from, and a-fighting with, and a-chewing at, all the time. How provoking! and I don’t know any bad words, else wouldn’t I swear! Memo: to make my ma teach me to say bad words.”

“Well, I’m shocked,” he says, “if it isn’t[Pg 181] a part of myself I’ve been running from, fighting with, and gnawing on all this time. How frustrating! And I don’t know any curse words, or else I would definitely swear! Note: to have my mom teach me some curse words.”

“Bravo! Brr—r—ravo!” cried pretty Dick, who, perched on a stool, had been watching all the performance with singular interest.

“Bravo! Brr—r—ravo!” shouted pretty Dick, who, sitting on a stool, had been observing the entire performance with great interest.

“Bravo yourself,” cried Blinks, indignantly; but he felt very foolish nevertheless.

“Pat yourself on the back,” Blinks shouted, annoyed; but he still felt really foolish.

And that was how Blinks came to the knowledge that he possessed, that very useful and ornamental appendage called a tail; and that extremity was ever afterwards viewed by him with great interest, and treated with the utmost respect,—Blinks conducting himself with conscious pride and dignity, as behoves an animal of the feline persuasion who is possessed of two eyes, and is followed about, wherever he goes, by a living, moving, gracefully-waving tail.

And that's how Blinks realized he had that really handy and decorative feature called a tail; and from then on, he looked at it with great interest and treated it with the utmost respect—Blinks carrying himself with a sense of pride and dignity, as any cat should who has two eyes and is followed everywhere he goes by a living, moving, gracefully waving tail.

Mew IX.

Daring ascent of a Volcanic Mountain.

Daring climb up a volcanic mountain.

After another half-hour’s walk Blinks arrived at the foot of a great black mountain, all covered with rank black grass. The mountain had much the resemblance of a huge lion couchant.

After another half-hour walk, Blinks reached the base of a towering black mountain, completely covered in thick black grass. The mountain looked a lot like a giant lion lying down.

“Seems a long way to walk round,” said our hero; “I’ll even go over, and I’ll get a fine view of the surrounding country from the top.” So saying, Blinks mentally girded up his loins, and began to climb. It was very steep, and very high, and he had to pause many times to take breath; but he cast no longing lingering look behind,—that wasn’t his nature. So he muttered, “Excelsior,” putting a great emphasis on the “r,” which is the pet letter of the feline race. After much toil and trouble, he stood on the highest peak of Mount Black;—and, St. Mary! what a scene burst upon his astonished eyes. The sun had gone down behind the distant window-frame; but the ogre had just lighted two moons, and placed them conveniently on the[Pg 183] end of brass pipes, for which kind action Blinks postponed his execution sine die. Everything was thus rendered nearly as bright as day. As far as his eye could reach, nothing was visible but the flowery prairie, the ogre’s legs, and the great beams supporting the universe. The view was bounded by flowery walls, which, he doubted not, was the end of the world, while far away in a corner, the well-pleased and foolishly-affectionate-looking face of his mamma looked up from her rug. She spied her son, even at that distance, and turned up the white of her breast to lure him down.

“Seems like a long way to walk around,” said our hero; “I’ll just go over, and I’ll get a great view of the surrounding countryside from the top.” With that, Blinks mentally prepared himself and began to climb. It was very steep and very high, and he had to stop many times to catch his breath; but he didn’t look back— that wasn’t in his nature. So he muttered, “Excelsior,” emphasizing the “r,” which is the favorite letter of cats. After much effort and struggle, he stood at the highest point of Mount Black;—and, holy cow! what a scene unfolded before his amazed eyes. The sun had set behind the distant horizon; but the ogre had just lit two moons and placed them conveniently on the[Pg 183] end of brass pipes. Because of this kind act, Blinks postponed his execution sine die. Everything was almost as bright as day. As far as he could see, there was nothing visible except the flowery prairie, the ogre’s legs, and the great beams holding up the universe. The view was surrounded by flowery walls, which he was sure was the end of the world, while far away in a corner, the pleased and somewhat silly-looking face of his mom gazed up from her rug. She spotted her son, even from that distance, and raised her arms in invitation to lure him down.

“The old idiot,” said Blinks to himself, “how can she be so ridiculous and unromantic? Would Livingstone’s mamma do that to her son, if she espied him far away on the Peak of Teneriffe? No!”

“The old idiot,” Blinks said to himself, “how can she be so ridiculous and unromantic? Would Livingstone’s mom do that to her son if she spotted him far away on the Peak of Teneriffe? No!”

Blinks was gazing skywards, and thinking that if he were spared to return to his native rug, he would write a book that would astonish the weak nerves of the tea-guzzling universe, and beat all creation, when he began to fancy he could hear a low rumbling[Pg 184] noise beneath his feet, and perceive a slight heaving motion in the body of the mountain. He bent down and listened. Yes! there it was;—there could not be a doubt of either fact; and, terrible thought! he stood on the summit of a living volcano. But he did not fear; nay he even caught himself singing for joy; but in a moment his joy was turned to very particular grief, and his wonder to something as nearly akin to fear as the heart of a Blinks could beat time to.

Blinks was looking up at the sky, thinking that if he was lucky enough to return to his home, he would write a book that would shock the sensitive tea-drinking world and outshine everything else. Then he started to think he could hear a low rumbling noise beneath his feet and felt a slight movement in the mountain. He bent down to listen. Yes! There it was; there couldn’t be any doubt about it. And, what a terrifying thought! He was standing on the peak of a living volcano. But he wasn’t scared; in fact, he even found himself singing with joy. However, in an instant, his joy turned into deep sadness, and his wonder shifted to something that felt very close to fear, as much as a Blinks’ heart could manage.

“For,” says Blinks, “isn’t it rising I am? Isn’t it bigger and bigger the mountain is getting?”

“For,” says Blinks, “aren’t I rising? Isn’t the mountain getting bigger and bigger?”

There was no longer any question of it at all; and Blinks hurried down the side of the mountain as fast as four legs could carry him; but judge, if you can, of his astonishment to find that the hill itself had four legs, as well as he himself had; so that unless he could manage to creep down one of these, he would have to leap through the sky, down—down—down to the vast plain below. For a moment only he stopped to think, to bring all the wonderful powers of his great mind to[Pg 185] bear upon the terrible situation; but just then his deliberation was brought to a speedy conclusion; for, wonderful to relate, the whole head of the hill turned about, and looked him directly in the face with a pair of eyes as big, so thought he, as fish-ponds; while at the same time a great cold nose was thrust right beneath him, and he was hurled headlong to the plain below, and the volcanic mountain—which cats, jealous of the immortality of Blinks, have since averred was nothing else but the ogre’s large dog Nero—shook itself and walked away to the other end of the boundless prairie. And Blinks confessed, many days afterwards, that at that moment, though by no means afraid, he would not have undertaken to say whether his head or heels were uppermost. After all, no wonder; for at that precise moment Blinks lay on his back, and the world consequently had an up-side-down look about it.

There was no question about it anymore; Blinks rushed down the side of the mountain as fast as four legs could carry him. But imagine his surprise when he discovered that the hill itself had four legs too, just like he did. Unless he figured out how to climb down one of those, he would have to jump through the sky, down—down—down to the vast plain below. He paused for just a moment to think, using all the awesome abilities of his mind to tackle this terrifying situation; but then he quickly stopped thinking because, surprisingly, the whole head of the hill turned around and looked him right in the face with eyes that, he thought, were as big as fish ponds. At the same time, a huge cold nose was shoved right underneath him, sending him tumbling headfirst to the plain below. Meanwhile, the volcanic mountain—which cats, envious of Blinks' immortality, later claimed was just the ogre’s big dog, Nero—shook itself off and wandered to the other side of the endless prairie. Blinks admitted, many days later, that at that moment, although he wasn’t scared at all, he couldn’t honestly tell if his head or feet were on top. It wasn’t surprising; at that precise moment, Blinks was lying on his back, so the world looked completely upside down.

Mew X.

The Ogre. The Baptism of Blinks.

The Ogre. The Baptism of Blinks.

It might have been thought that the trials and adventures of Blinks were now at an end for one day; but, no,—he had still another to add to the list. He had come through fire and earth and air; he was now to come through water. One other weary mile he had yet to wander, ere he could lay his war-worn head on his mother’s breast; and this mile he was engaged placing behind him, when, suddenly, and ere he was aware, a gigantic hand was laid upon him, and he was carried swiftly through space, wheeled quickly round, and immediately found himself face to face with—horror of horrors!—the ogre.

It might have seemed that Blinks' trials and adventures were over for the day, but no—he still had one more to add to the list. He had already made it through fire, earth, and air; now he had to face water. He had one more tiring mile to go before he could rest his battle-worn head on his mother’s chest, and he was in the process of covering that mile when, suddenly, without warning, a giant hand came down on him, lifting him up quickly through the air, spinning him around, and before he knew it, he found himself staring directly at—horror of horrors!—the ogre.

“Ho! ho! my little gentleman,” so spoke the ogre; “you’ve been and gone and got a couple of peepers” (that is what the ogre termed Blinks’s eyes, such desecration of terms can scarcely be credited, but it is indeed true),—“a couple of peepers, queer blue-grey blinkers they are too; so, so, you must be baptized, then.”

“Hey! hey! little man,” said the ogre; “you’ve gone and got yourself a couple of eyes” (that’s what the ogre called Blinks’s eyes; it’s hard to believe such strange terms, but it’s really true),—“a couple of eyes, and they’re odd blue-grey too; so, so, you must be baptized, then.”

[Pg 187]It may be observed here, that although our hero had got a name, the ceremony of baptism had not yet taken place. The ogre then pronounced these remarkable words, swinging our little hero through the immensity of space at every word, and finally plunging him feline fathoms below water, in a dark wooden-bound lake of murky water (bucket?).

[Pg 187]It’s worth noting that while our hero had received a name, the baptism ceremony had not yet occurred. The ogre then declared these notable words, tossing our little hero through the vastness of space with each word, and ultimately plunging him deep underwater into a dark, wooden-framed lake filled with murky water.

“In the name—of your father—and your mother—and your sister—and your brother—who all—made a living—in the—software line—I baptize you Blinks.”

“In the name of your father, your mother, your sister, and your brother, who all worked in the software industry, I baptize you Blinks.”

Down, down, down, did the ogre plunge Blinks, and the dark waves, cold and cruel, closed remorselessly over his head. Then did Blinks gasp,—he gasped, he spluttered and spluttering spat, kicked violently, and kicking, sunk into insensibility. When he revived, he found himself in the hairy arms of his loving ma, who was licking his wet and shivering body with loving tongue. Blinks soon dried; then tired out, war-worn, and weary, he sunk to rest with a tit in his mouth, while his mother crooned over[Pg 188] the following song, taught her by her mother,—Blink’s grandma,—in the happy days of her playful kittenhood.

Down, down, down, the ogre went as Blinks sank, and the dark, cold waves closed mercilessly over his head. Blinks gasped—he spluttered, spat, kicked wildly, and as he kicked, he fell unconscious. When he came to, he found himself in the loving arms of his mother, who was gently licking his wet, shivering body. Blinks quickly dried off; then, exhausted and worn out, he fell asleep with a tit in his mouth while his mother sang a lullaby that her mother—Blinks’ grandma—had taught her during her happy, playful kitten days. [Pg 188]

THE THREE THREADS.
(Tune, PURR—WURR-R-R,—PURR—WURR-R-R.)

THE THREE THREADS. (Tune, PURR—WURR-R-R,—PURR—WURR-R-R.)

Hirple, dirple, dirrum dum,
Three threads and a thrum,[6 (1)]
The wee bit mousie
Made a housie,—
Made a housie in a drum;
Scraped a hole,
And made a housie,—
Made its housie in a drum.

The three threadies and a thrum,
If ye canna sing, ye just maun hum;[6 (2)]
When the mousie sleepit,
Pousie creepit,—
Creepit slily to the drum;
Popped a paw in,
Clook’t a claw in,—
Clook’t a claw in the mousie’s wum.

Och, hey, how, hum,
Three threadies and a thrum:
If ye canna sing, ye maun be mum.
The mousie grat,[6 (3)]
The cattie spat,
And hauld the thingie frae the drum:
It winked its eenies,[6 (4)]
Like heads o’ preenies,[6 (5)]
Gave ae wee cheep and syne[6 (6)] was dumb.
[Pg 189]
Fee, fa, fi, fum,
Cheer up my dear, and look na glum:[6 (7)]
I bit off its heed,[6 (8)]
I lickit its bleed,[6 (9)]
And gnawed the beanies[6 (10)] beside the drum:
Just three sips,
And I lickit my lips,—
Lickit my lips, and then said “Num!”[6 (11)]

“Tinkle, tankle, tingle, tum,
Weel, weel, and isn’t it rum?
There is nae musie in the drum,”
The manie cried,
When he spied
The mousie’s holie in the drum.
“But deil gang wi’ it,
That I should greet,[6 (12)]
It’ll mak a very decent lum[6 (13)]
Wi’ three threads and a thrum.”
Thrum, thrum, thrum, thrum,
Three threads and a thrum.

Hirple, dirple, dirrum dum,
Three threads and a thrum,[6 (1)]
The tiny mouse
Built a tiny house—
Made a house in a drum;
Cut a hole,
And built a tiny house,—
Made its house in a drum.

The three threads and a thrum,
If you can't sing, you just have to hum;[6 (2)]
When the mouse was sleeping,
The cat sneaked—
Creeped quietly to the drum;
Pushed a paw in,
Caught a claw in,—
Hooked a claw in the mouse's tummy.

Oh, hey, how, hum,
Three threads and a thrum:
If you can't sing, you must stay quiet.
The mouse cried,[6 (3)]
The cat spat.
And pulled the thing out of the drum:
It winked its eyes, [6 (4)]
Like little heads, [6 (5)]
Gave a tiny squeak and then[6 (6)] was silent.
[Pg 189]
Fee, fa, fi, fum,
Cheer up my dear, and don't look glum:[6 (7)]
I bit its head off,[6 (8)]
I tasted its blood,[6 (9)]
And gnawed the pieces[6 (10)] beside the drum:
Just three sips,
And I licked my lips—
Licked my lips, and then said “Yum!”[6 (11)]

“Tinkle, tankle, tingle, tum,
Well, well, isn’t it funny?
There is no mouse in the drum,”
The guy cried,
When he saw
The mouse's hole in the drum.
“But damn it,
That I should cry, [6 (12)]
It’ll make a very decent chimney[6 (13)]
With three threads and a thrum.”
Thrum, thrum, thrum, thrum,
Three threads and a hum.

 

 


CHAPTER XVI.

[See Note O, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

HUNTING EXPLOITS.

Hunting Adventures.

Catching mice is, to a proper-minded cat, a mere parlour pastime, only to be resorted to on rainy days, or of a night when too restless to sleep. It stands to pussy in the same relation that indoor croquet, billiards, or reading a book in bed does to our noble selves. Rat-catching is only just one degree better, and principally enjoyed by cats who have not reached maturity in body and intellect—cats, in fact, in their hobble-de-hoy-hood. To the matured cat,—especially if highly bred,—belong all the joys and excitement of the chase a-field. There is as much difference between the hunting of an animal of the cat-kind and that of one of the canine order, as there is between the skilled tactics of German warfare, and the wild rush to battle of Arab cavalry. There is more[Pg 191] honesty in the one, more craft and cunning in the other. A dog is singularly destitute in what is called in Scotland, “canniness.” He also wants patience; but the cat, armed with this gift, combined with cunning, and skill gained from experience, is master for anything in the field which she considers game and chooses to square her moustache at. Even to a human being, stalking one’s prey is infinitely more engrossing than the mere hunting of it. The latter is pleasing, certainly, but the former is charming. Pussy prefers the charming, while our friend the dog merely runs down his prey, and takes little pains to show skill even in that.

Catching mice is, for a cat with a proper mindset, just a casual activity, something to do on rainy days or at night when they can’t sleep. It’s similar to how indoor croquet, billiards, or reading a book in bed relates to us. Rat-catching is slightly better, mainly enjoyed by younger cats who haven't fully matured—cats in their awkward teenage years. For the more experienced cat—especially one with good breeding—the true thrill lies in the excitement of hunting outdoors. There’s a significant difference between a cat’s hunting approach and that of a dog, much like the difference between German military strategies and the chaotic charge of Arab cavalry. One displays more honesty, while the other shows more craftiness and cunning. A dog lacks what’s called "canniness" in Scotland. It also lacks patience; but the cat, equipped with patience, combined with cunning and skills learned from experience, is formidable with anything it considers prey. Even for a human, stalking prey is far more engaging than simply hunting it. Hunting can be enjoyable, but stalking is captivating. A cat favors the captivating, while our dog friend just chases down its prey, showing little effort to demonstrate skill in the process.

Leaving rats and mice along with blue-bottle flies, in the category of mere kitten’s play, pussy’s game-list includes hares, rabbits, stoats, weasels, water-rats, and moles, besides everything that flies or has feathers, from the humble household sparrow to the black-cock of the mountain. Not before a cat reaches maturity—viz., three years of age—does the propensity for out-door hunting become a passion with her; but once[Pg 192] imbued with it, the desire never leaves her as long as she can run.

Leaving rats and mice along with blue-bottle flies in the category of mere kitten's play, a cat's list of prey includes hares, rabbits, stoats, weasels, water rats, and moles, as well as everything that flies or has feathers, from the common household sparrow to the mountain black-cock. It's not until a cat reaches maturity—about three years old—that the urge for outdoor hunting becomes a true passion; but once[Pg 192] it takes hold, the desire never leaves her as long as she can run.

Pirnie is a little female pussy, belonging to a labouring man. At the time I write, she is over twenty years old; but hale and hearty, and as playful as a kitten. She is a perfect adept at catching all sorts of vermin, but more particularly goes in for mole-catching. When she spies a mole-hill, she at once sets herself down to watch it; nor will she raise the siege for hours, until the little gentleman in velvet gives signs of his presence by casting up a few grains of earth. Then is pussy’s opportunity. She springs nimbly on the bank, and plunges her arms up to the shoulders into the earth, and never fails to bring poor molie to bank; and the daylight has hardly had time to dazzle his eyes before he is dead.

Pirnie is a little female cat that belongs to a working man. As I write this, she is over twenty years old but remains healthy and as playful as a kitten. She's incredibly skilled at catching all kinds of pests, but she's especially good at catching moles. When she spots a molehill, she immediately sits down to watch it; she won't move for hours until the little guy in velvet shows signs of life by pushing up some soil. That's pussy's chance. She jumps up on the bank and buries her paws into the ground, always managing to drag poor mole to the surface; and hardly has the daylight had time to dazzle his eyes before he's dead.

Last year Pirnie—being then nineteen years of age—had a thrilling adventure with a large hare. The hare, which was at least double the size of pussy, had been enjoying a quiet nap during the heat of the day, in a field not far from the house, when Pirnie[Pg 193] stumbled across its trail, and on following it up the battle ensued. “The hare,” says my informant, “fought with great vigour, and often floored her antagonist; but Pirnie sent in her claws and teeth, till blood flew like rain, and fur like drift (driven snow); and the hare soon becoming exhausted, Pirnie seized it by the throat, and its plaintive screams were presently hushed in death.”

Last year, Pirnie—who was nineteen at the time—had an exciting adventure with a large hare. The hare, which was at least twice the size of a cat, had been taking a peaceful nap during the hot part of the day in a field not far from the house when Pirnie[Pg 193] stumbled upon its trail. When she followed it, a fierce battle broke out. “The hare,” my source said, “fought vigorously and often knocked her opponent down; but Pirnie attacked with her claws and teeth until blood flew like rain and fur scattered like snow. Eventually, the hare grew tired, and Pirnie grabbed it by the throat, silencing its pitiful screams as it died.”

Graysie was a tom-cat, and rather famous for his hunting exploits. One day, Graysie, being on the war-path, encountered a very large weasel, and it was at once mutually agreed to try conclusions in a fair stand-up fight. The battle was witnessed by Graysie’s owners, and lasted the greater part of the afternoon, and ended triumphantly for pussy, in the defeat and death of the weasel. When Graysie found out that his fallen foe was indeed dead, he took it up in his teeth, and carrying it home, deposited it on the front-door steps, intending it no doubt as a present for his mistress, as well as a trophy of his own prowess.

Graysie was a tomcat, well-known for his hunting skills. One day, Graysie, feeling feisty, ran into a very large weasel, and they quickly agreed to settle things with a straight-up fight. The battle was watched by Graysie’s owners, lasted most of the afternoon, and ended in victory for him, leading to the weasel's defeat and death. When Graysie realized his fallen opponent was really dead, he picked it up in his mouth and brought it home, placing it on the front steps, likely intended as a gift for his owner, as well as a trophy of his own skill.

A cat never springs on her prey unless[Pg 194] sure of catching it, and her aim is most unerring. I know a cat that killed over a score of large rats in one day, and on one of these she sprang from a height of no less than twelve feet.

A cat never leaps at her prey unless[Pg 194] she's confident of catching it, and her aim is incredibly accurate. I know a cat that took down more than twenty large rats in a single day, and for one of them, she jumped from a height of at least twelve feet.

I counted one day no less than 350 mice which a cat had killed single-handed at the removal of a rick of oats in a farmer’s yard. He was a fine, noble, red tabby, and it was quite a sight to see the surprising strength and agility with which he worked. He killed most of them with his paws, seldom putting a tooth in one. Every time there was a lull in the flow of vermin, he took the opportunity of clearing the ground of the slain, which he carried to a convenient distance and placed all together in a heap. When all was over, to see honest Tom set himself down in front of this heap of carnage, and thoughtfully and complacently contemplate his bloody handiwork, would have been a study for the great Landseer himself. But not one of his slain victims did Tom eat. Indeed, high-bred cats seldom care to eat mice unless they are very hungry; they[Pg 195] much prefer fish to anything else, and the flesh of birds they consider a greater luxury than even that of rabbits.

I counted one day at least 350 mice that a cat had killed all by himself while removing a stack of oats in a farmer’s yard. He was a strong, noble red tabby, and it was impressive to see the surprising strength and agility with which he worked. He killed most of them with his paws, rarely using his teeth. Every time there was a break in the flow of vermin, he took the chance to clear the ground of the dead, carrying them a good distance away and piling them all together. When it was all over, watching honest Tom sit in front of this pile of carnage, thoughtfully and contentedly gazing at his bloody work, would have been a sight for the great Landseer himself. But not one of his fallen victims did Tom eat. In fact, high-bred cats usually don’t bother with mice unless they’re extremely hungry; they much prefer fish over anything else, and they consider bird flesh an even greater luxury than rabbit.

Solomon, or Habakkuk, or Nebuchadnezzar, or some great Hebrew authority, says, “Coneys are a feeble folk.” Doubtless they were so in those days, and taken singly so they are in our day; but combinedly they are powerful indeed, as many a poor ruined farmer can testify. They are very wise too, and this wisdom is especially displayed in the number of doors they have in each of their dwellings; so that should an enemy, in the shape of a pussy, or a ferret, pop in at one door, Bunny would just pop out at the other. I knew a cat in the Isle of Man—she had no tail worth mentioning—who used to make this very habit of the rabbits a means of securing her prey. She used to enter one hole suddenly, and as suddenly reappear stern first. Of course, Bunny by this time was scampering off to the opposite hole, and there at the door pussy would nab him just as he came out.

Solomon, or Habakkuk, or Nebuchadnezzar, or some other great Hebrew authority, says, “Coneys are a weak bunch.” They might have been so back then, and individually they are in our time; but together they can be quite strong, as many struggling farmers can confirm. They’re also very clever, and this cleverness shows in the number of exits they have in their homes; so if a foe, like a cat or a ferret, shows up at one entrance, Bunny can simply dart out the other. I knew a cat on the Isle of Man—she had no tail to speak of—who used to take advantage of this habit of the rabbits to catch her meals. She would suddenly dive into one hole and then quickly reappear backwards. By that time, Bunny was already racing off to the opposite hole, and at that door, the cat would catch him just as he was coming out.

Cats almost invariably bring home their[Pg 196] prey to be either leisurely eaten, given to their kittens, or presented to their owners.

Cats almost always bring home their[Pg 196] prey to either eat at their leisure, give to their kittens, or show off to their owners.

A man in Banffshire rented a small farm from a game-preserving laird. This man was ruined by rabbits, and turned out of house and home by them. They first ate up all his oats, his grass, and turnips, so that only potatoes could be grown on the place. By-and-by they took to eating the stems of even those as soon as they appeared above ground, so that all the poor man’s live stock was reduced to one in number, namely, a big tabby cat. This cat throve upon the foe. She also took a few youthful prisoners, whom she brought home to play with and amuse a fine family of kittens, which she had in the cottage garret. These young rabbits lived and grew, and burrowed and made nests in the thatch. It was the awful row this happy family used to make every night which first led to the discovery. When the farmer found out one night the cause of the disturbance, he came down and awakened his wife and—

A man in Banffshire rented a small farm from a game-preserving landowner. This man was ruined by rabbits, which forced him out of his home. They first ate all his oats, grass, and turnips, leaving only potatoes to grow on the land. Eventually, they started eating the stems of the potatoes as soon as they sprouted, so all the poor man's livestock was reduced to just one, a big tabby cat. This cat thrived on the intruders. She also captured a few young rabbits, which she brought home to entertain a fine family of kittens she had in the cottage attic. These young rabbits survived and grew, burrowing and creating nests in the thatch. It was the terrible racket this happy family made every night that led to the discovery. When the farmer found out one night what was causing the noise, he came down and woke his wife and—

“Jane,” said he, and he looked almost[Pg 197] sublime as he stood on the cold damp floor with a penny candle in one hand, in rather scanty shirt-tails and red Kilmarnock night cap—he was a study for a Rembrandt, “Jane, I’ve been a duffer too long. Those rascally rabbits—they’ve eaten up everything we have out of doors, now they’ve stormed and taken our castle. By-and-by they’ll eat the bed from under us, then they’ll eat ourselves; but, Jane, to-morrow morning I’m off,”—this he said self-sacrificingly,—“I’m off, Jane, to the lands of America.” And the good people went, leaving pussy and the feeble folks, in undisputed possession of house and farm.

“Jane,” he said, looking almost sublime as he stood on the cold, damp floor with a penny candle in one hand, wearing nothing but his short shirt-tails and a red nightcap—he could have been a subject for a Rembrandt, “Jane, I’ve been a fool for too long. Those pesky rabbits—they’ve eaten everything we have outside, and now they’ve stormed and taken our castle. Soon they’ll eat the bed right out from under us, and then they’ll come for us; but, Jane, tomorrow morning I’m leaving,”—he said this sacrificially,—“I’m leaving, Jane, for America.” And the good people left, leaving the cat and the weak folks in total control of the house and farm.

Gamekeepers do all they can to destroy the life of poor pussy by setting traps for, and shooting her wherever met. But some cats come to know all about the treacherous wires and how to avoid them. They know too that hares and rabbits often fall into these snares, and accordingly they turn this knowledge to good account; and when they find a half-strangled animal in the gin, they quietly despatch, and if possible carry it home.

Gamekeepers do everything they can to kill poor animals by setting traps for them and shooting them whenever they're seen. But some cats learn all about the dangerous wires and how to avoid them. They also know that hares and rabbits often get caught in these traps, so they make good use of this knowledge; when they find a half-strangled animal in a trap, they quietly finish it off and, if they can, take it home.

Cats are great enemies to birds in the[Pg 198] breeding season; but it is surprising with what terrible fierceness even the smallest birds will defend their nests from the inroads of predatory cats, whose evil intentions are thus often frustrated.

Cats are major threats to birds during the[Pg 198] breeding season; however, it's astonishing how fiercely even the tiniest birds will protect their nests from invading cats, whose malicious intentions are often thwarted.

Pussy has many enemies to contend with on the hunting-ground.

Pussy has a lot of rivals to face on the hunting grounds.

A poacher, the other day, was returning home in the grey light of early morning, when he observed a large fox coming in his direction, with what the man took to be a hare over his shoulder. The man fired, and Reynard dropped. His burden was a fine large cat. Poor pussy had been promising herself a nice plump rabbit for breakfast; the fox thought he should like a fine healthy cat for a change. “There’s many a slip ’twixt the cup and the lip;” and the poacher’s gun brought matters to quite a different conclusion.

A poacher was heading home in the early morning light when he spotted a large fox coming toward him, carrying what he thought was a hare over its shoulder. He fired, and the fox dropped. It turned out the fox was carrying a beautiful big cat. Poor kitty had been hoping for a nice plump rabbit for breakfast, while the fox wanted a healthy cat for a change. “There’s many a slip between the cup and the lip,” and the poacher's gun changed everything.

I know a case of a cat that returned from hunting, with two moderate-sized but full-grown rats in her mouth, and both alive and staring. They were no doubt sitting cheek-by-jowl when pussy made the spring.

I know of a cat that came back from hunting with two medium-sized but fully grown rats in her mouth, and both were alive and wide-eyed. They were probably sitting close together when the cat pounced.

[Pg 199]If I tell the reader of a cat that is so clever that she can catch swallows on the wing, I suppose I may be allowed to close this chapter in peace. It does seem a little yankee-doodlish I confess, but it is nevertheless a fact.

[Pg 199]If I mention a cat that’s so smart she can catch swallows in mid-air, I guess I can wrap up this chapter without any trouble. It might sound a bit silly, I admit, but it’s still true.

At the foot of a certain post-master’s garden, flows a stream in which his cat takes many a good salmon-trout. This stream is spanned by an old-fashioned turf-covered tree-bridge, without any parapet. On this bridge crouches this sagacious cat, and often secures a swallow, as it skims out from under. That’s all.

At the bottom of a certain post-master’s garden, there’s a stream where his cat catches plenty of salmon trout. This stream is crossed by an old-fashioned, turf-covered tree bridge that has no railing. On this bridge, this clever cat often waits and catches a swallow as it flies out from underneath. That’s it.

 

 


CHAPTER XVII.

[See Note P, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

COCK-JOCK AND THE CAT.

Cock-Jock and the Cat.

Cock-Jock, as he was called, was the most famous of a famous breed of cocks, our family had possessed for many years. Descended from the black-cock of the mountain, with plumage like jet, save one bright spot of crimson and gold on each wing, short stout legs, and strongest of spurs, he had never met his match in field or pit. Many a brave but unfortunate bird he had stood upon, and crowed over, as he trampled out its last breath. I am speaking of twenty years ago, when cock-fighting in private was still a favourite pastime, with many otherwise sensible and honourable men, in the far north of Scotland. Cock-Jock possessed in the highest degree, all those princely and chivalrous qualities, for which animals of his species and breed are so justly celebrated. He was a perfect gentleman after his own fashion.[Pg 201] He never would touch a morsel of food himself, until every member of his large harem had filled her crop; and thus his own share was at times small enough. If two hens quarrelled, and had recourse to their nebs, he used to peck them both, time about, until they desisted; he then gave them a sound rating, pointing out to them in forcible language, the extreme impropriety of such conduct among ladies of a well-regulated harem. Cock-Jock went to roost every night with his old mother—how beautiful is filial piety!—on one side of him, and a large white hen, his pet wife, on the other. Then he always crowed at the proper time and place; never, under any circumstance, would he mistake moonlight for morning, as some foolish brutes do. Dogs he especially disliked. He used to steal a march upon them, pretend to be busy eating, till he turned their flank, then, before the poor dog could say “wow,” he had two inches of spur in each hip; and that tickled him. He was very affectionate, and tame enough to eat from your hand; but if you dared to go near or[Pg 202] molest a hen, he would assuredly lame you for a month. Once upon a time, when a little bantam cock was sick, Jock never went to roost for weeks, but took the bantam to a nest and nursed it under his wings, as a hen would a chicken, and tenderly fed it daily till it grew well again. I knew a great deal of what that cock said, for the language of the lower animals is by no means difficult to understand. His remarks had reference principally to his food, its quantity and quality, his wives—their virtues and vices, and to his battles. He always backed himself to win. He used to ask every human stranger he met, in a manner not at all calculated to give offence, if he mightn’t have “just one shy at your shins.” He one day offered me a snail. He came a long distance out of his way too to give it to me. He offered me the delicious tit-bit with much ceremonious tick-tucking, and in quite a patronizing manner, as if, like old King Thingummy, I had advertised for a new pleasure, and he was about to introduce me to it. I’m sure I hurt his feelings by refusing it. But I couldn’t help it. I think I[Pg 203] could eat a snail now, if hard pushed, although I am told they taste “a little green.” But after one has lived on Navy weevils for many years, one isn’t so particular; but I was very young then.

Cock-Jock, as he was called, was the most famous among a renowned breed of cocks that our family had owned for many years. Descended from the black-cock of the mountain, with jet-black plumage except for a bright spot of crimson and gold on each wing, short stout legs, and the strongest of spurs, he had never met his match in the field or pit. Many brave but unfortunate birds had fallen beneath him, and he had crowed over them as he trampled out their last breath. I’m talking about twenty years ago, when cock-fighting in private was still a popular pastime for many otherwise sensible and honorable men in the far north of Scotland. Cock-Jock had all those princely and chivalrous qualities for which animals of his species and breed are so justly celebrated. He was a perfect gentleman in his own way.[Pg 201] He would never touch a morsel of food himself until every member of his large harem had filled her crop; thus, his own share was often quite small. If two hens got into a quarrel and resorted to their beaks, he would peck them both, one after the other, until they stopped; then he would give them a stern talking-to, pointing out in no uncertain terms the extreme inappropriateness of such behavior among well-mannered ladies. Cock-Jock would go to roost every night with his old mother—how beautiful is filial piety!—on one side of him, and a large white hen, his favorite wife, on the other. He always crowed at the right time and place; never, under any circumstances, would he confuse moonlight with morning, as some foolish animals do. He especially disliked dogs. He would sneak up on them, pretending to eat until he got around to their side, then, before the poor dog could say “wow,” he would jab them with his spurs; and that amused him. He was very affectionate and tame enough to eat from your hand; but if you dared to go near or[Pg 202] bother a hen, he would definitely put you out of commission for a month. Once, when a little bantam cock was sick, Jock refused to roost for weeks and instead took the bantam to a nest and nursed it under his wings, like a hen with a chick, tenderly feeding it daily until it got better. I understood a lot of what that cock said, as the language of animals is not hard to grasp. His remarks mostly concerned his food, its quantity and quality, his wives—their virtues and faults—and his battles. He always bet on himself to win. He would casually approach every human stranger he met and politely ask if he could have “just one shy at your shins.” One day, he offered me a snail. He even went out of his way to bring it to me. He presented the delicious treat with much ceremony and in a condescending way, as if, like some old king, I had advertised for a new experience, and he was going to introduce me to it. I think I hurt his feelings by turning it down. But I couldn’t help it. I think I[Pg 203] could eat a snail now if I had to, although I'm told they taste “a little green.” But after living on Navy weevils for so many years, one isn’t so picky; still, I was very young then.

I remember a gentleman’s satin hat being blown off near to his cockship. I wouldn’t have been that hat on any consideration. Heavens! how he battered it, and tugged at it, and tore it; finally he jumped on it, and crew over it and at the owner.

I remember a guy's satin hat getting blown off right by his boat. I wouldn’t want to be that hat for anything. Wow! how he smashed it, pulled at it, and ripped it; finally, he jumped on it, and yelled at the owner.

“Twenty shillings,” cried that unfortunate, “thrown to the winds! Curse the cock!”

“Twenty shillings,” shouted that poor soul, “wasted! Damn the rooster!”

Jock looked at him, as much as to say, “Perhaps, sir, you would like to come a little nearer, and repeat that expression.” But the gentleman didn’t. He preferred going home bare-headed.

Jock looked at him, as if to say, “Maybe, sir, you’d like to come a bit closer and say that again.” But the gentleman didn’t. He chose to go home without a hat.

I one day met a poor woman carrying a large stuffed cock. Like the cheeky brat they called me, I induced her to come and show the thing to Jock. She did so. Jock very soon laid bare the bird-stuffer’s art. Cotton-wool and wires and all went to leeward. Jock had never met with so curious a foe in his life[Pg 204] before, and he treated him accordingly. My father came. Jock crew. The woman wept, and I ran and hid.

I one day met a poor woman carrying a big stuffed rooster. Just like the cheeky brat they called me, I convinced her to come and show it to Jock. She did. Jock quickly revealed the bird-stuffing technique. Cotton, wires, and everything fell apart. Jock had never encountered such a strange opponent in his life[Pg 204] before, and he treated it as such. My dad showed up. Jock yelled. The woman cried, and I ran and hid.

One fine summer’s day my sister left a pillow in the garden. We were all in the parlour. Presently it came on to snow apparently, and the room got darkened. We soon discovered that it was not snow-flakes, but feathers. My father said, “In the name of all creation!” My mother put on her glasses, and remarked, “Every good thing attend us!” Then we all took umbrellas, and went out. When, half choked, we reached the garden, we discovered a clue to the mystery. Cock-Jock had spied the pillow, and could not resist having one kick at it. One kick led to another; and when the eider-down began to come out, Jock lost his temper, and went at it with a will. He had some extra animal energy to expend that morning, and he did it—so successfully, too, that for a whole week never a bit of work was done about the place. The horses had a holiday, and we had cold mutton every day, the servants being all engaged culling the feathers[Pg 205] from the grass and trees, and picking the fluff from the flowers.

One beautiful summer day, my sister left a pillow in the garden. We were all in the living room. Suddenly, it started to look like it was snowing, and the room grew dark. We quickly figured out it wasn’t snowflakes, but feathers. My dad exclaimed, “What on earth!” My mom put on her glasses and said, “May all good things come to us!” Then we all grabbed umbrellas and went outside. When we eventually made it to the garden, half-choked by the feathers, we found the source of the mystery. Cock-Jock had spotted the pillow and couldn't resist giving it a kick. One kick led to another, and as the down began to fly, Jock lost his cool and went after it with enthusiasm. He had some extra energy that morning and really let it out—so effectively that for an entire week, nothing got done around the place. The horses had a break, and we ate cold mutton every day while the servants were busy collecting the feathers from the grass and trees and picking the fluff from the flowers.[Pg 205]

Now to Cock-Jock was granted the honour of walking about wherever he pleased—a privilege which was denied to the members of his harem, and it was on the garden walk the battle took place which I am about to describe. Gibbey, my father’s famous red Tom-tabby, had a saucer of milk on the foot-path, with which, although he did not drink it himself, he did not choose that any one else should meddle. The cat and the cock had always been on friendly terms till now; and being thirsty, and presuming on this friendship, Cock-Jock walked half-apologetically up to the saucer, and dipping his beak in to fill it, raised his head to swallow it. It was just as his eyes were thus turned heavenward, that Master Gibbey sprang up—he was always too ready with his hands—and without taking his gloves off, struck honest Jock a sound slap on the ear. The cock shook his head; but knowing he was in the wrong, he did not get angry yet, but attempted to reason with the cat. For[Pg 206] Cock-Jock had this peculiarity: he never lost temper at the first blow from any creature he thought he was a match for. A strange bantam—and we all know how plucky and self-important they are—once alighted on Jock’s dung-hill, and immediately struck at him.

Now Cock-Jock was given the honor of roaming wherever he wanted—a privilege that was denied to the members of his harem—and it was in the garden where the battle I am about to describe happened. Gibbey, my father’s famous red Tom-tabby, had a saucer of milk on the pathway, and although he didn’t drink it himself, he didn’t want anyone else to touch it. The cat and the cock had always been on friendly terms until now; and feeling thirsty, and taking advantage of this friendship, Cock-Jock walked half-apologetically up to the saucer, dipped his beak in to fill it, and raised his head to swallow. Just as he was looking up, Master Gibbey pounced—he was always quick with his paws—and without taking off his gloves, slapped honest Jock hard on the ear. The cock shook his head; but knowing he was in the wrong, he didn’t get angry yet, instead trying to reason with the cat. For Cock-Jock had this quirk: he never lost his temper at the first hit from any creature he thought he could handle. A peculiar bantam—and we all know how bold and full of themselves they can be—once landed on Jock’s dung-hill and immediately attacked him.

“Avast heaving, my little friend,” said the big cock, or words to that effect; “you must be aware that I could knock you into the minutest smithereens in the twinkling of a foretop-sail.”

“Hold on there, my little friend,” said the big rooster, or something like that; “you should know that I could smash you into tiny pieces in the blink of an eye.”

“Oho!” thought the bantam, “you’re afraid, are you; take one for your nob, then,” and he struck him again.

“Oho!” thought the bantam, “you’re scared, huh; take this one for your head, then,” and he hit him again.

“Hang it all, you know,” roared Jock, now fairly enraged. He gave the bantam one blow; and where that bird was sent to has never been ascertained to this day, never a feather of him being found. And so Jock attempted to reason with the cat.

“Damn it all, you know,” yelled Jock, now completely furious. He took a swing at the bantam, and where that bird ended up has never been figured out to this day, not a single feather of it being found. So, Jock tried to reason with the cat.

“Cock a ro-ra-kuk? What does this mean, Master Gilbert? I own to having been in the wrong; but a blow, sir—a blow!”

“Cock a ro-ra-kuk? What does this mean, Master Gilbert? I admit I was wrong; but a hit, sir—a hit!”

He hadn’t long to wait for another either—this[Pg 207] time without the gloves; and then, as the Yankees say, his “dander riz.” The cock hopped nimbly over the saucer, and the battle began in earnest. Cock-Jock “showered his blows like wintry rain.”

He didn’t have to wait long for another one either—this[Pg 207] time without the gloves; and then, as the Yankees say, he got fired up. The rooster jumped nimbly over the saucer, and the fight began for real. Cock-Jock “rained down his blows like winter rain.”

But pussy adroitly avoided them all, and returned them with such practised precision and skill, that the poor cock’s pretty head was soon a mass of blood and gore. Jock, getting confused, held his head ground-wards, as if fighting with another cock instead of a cat, thus giving Gibbey all the advantage. The fight had now lasted fully five minutes, and as yet pussy rejoiced in a whole skin. I was beginning to think it was all up with the cock, when, crunch! the advantage came at last,—one stroke with that murderous spur, and Gibbey was stretched among the flowers, to all appearance dead. Cock-Jock bent cautiously down, examined him first with one eye then with another, and then, apparently satisfied, he jumped on his side and crew loud and long. But Gibbey did not die. He was out of the sick-list in four days;[Pg 208] but he ever after gave the cock a wide berth, and plenty of sea-room. Poor Cock-Jock! he died at last on the field of battle. His life was literally trodden out of him by a band of hostile turkeys. Superior weight did it.

But the cat skillfully dodged them all and retaliated with such practiced precision that soon the poor rooster’s beautiful head was a mess of blood and guts. Jock, getting confused, kept his head down as if he were fighting another rooster instead of a cat, giving Gibbey all the advantage. The fight had been going on for about five minutes, and so far, the cat was still unscathed. I was starting to think it was all over for the rooster when, crunch! the tide finally turned—one strike with that deadly spur, and Gibbey was lying among the flowers, seemingly dead. Cock-Jock cautiously leaned down, checked him first with one eye and then with the other, and then, apparently satisfied, he jumped to the side and crowed loudly for a long time. But Gibbey didn’t die. He was back on his feet in four days; however, he always kept his distance from the rooster and gave him plenty of space. Poor Cock-Jock! He eventually died on the battlefield. His life was literally stomped out by a gang of hostile turkeys. The heavier weight did him in.

 

 


CHAPTER XVIII.

[See Note Q, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

NURSING VAGARIES.

Nursing challenges.

The cat, unlike most animals, seems singularly exempt from the pains of parturition. “In sorrow shalt thou bring forth,” was never meant to apply to pussy. In fact about this time she always appears jollier than at any other, apparently looking upon the whole business as a capital lark—a rather enjoyable practical joke. My own cat, Muffie, invariably gives due notice of the coming event, by some of the most wonderful specimens of cantation I ever listened to. In fact she becomes a small opera in herself, chorus and all. Her song, moreover, is interlarded with little hysterical squeaks, as if she were brim-full of some strange joy, and running over. At the same time she lavishes more caresses than usual upon Nero, who, not knowing what to make of it, looks very foolish indeed.

The cat, unlike most animals, seems completely unaffected by the pains of giving birth. “In sorrow shalt thou bring forth” never applied to her. In fact, around this time, she always seems happier than ever, treating the whole situation like a fun adventure—a rather amusing prank. My cat, Muffie, always gives a heads-up about the impending event with some of the most amazing sounds I’ve ever heard. She truly transforms into a little opera all on her own, complete with a chorus. Her song is also filled with little excited squeaks, as if she's overflowing with some strange joy. At the same time, she gives Nero more affection than usual, leaving him looking quite confused.

Cats eating their Kittens.—Numerous[Pg 210] instances might be cited of cats eating their kittens as soon as born. These are curious examples of mistaken affection, and may be put down to a species of feline mania, somewhat analogous to that which is sometimes, though rarely, seen in human beings. Women enceinte have often curious tastes, as witness the lady whom nothing would please, but a bite of a baker’s shoulder. She had the bite and was satisfied. We trust the baker was. Or the princess who had her husband killed; she ate part of him, and had the remainder salted for future consumption. A lady of my acquaintance,—she was a savage, and lived in Lamoo on the East Coast of Africa,—had twins, a very little baby boy and a big fat baby girl. I saw her some days after, squatting in front of her bamboo hut, and singing low to her little son.

Cats eating their kittens.—There are many[Pg 210] examples of cats eating their kittens right after they’re born. These are strange cases of misunderstood affection and could be linked to a sort of feline madness, which is somewhat similar to what we occasionally see in humans. Pregnant women often have unusual cravings, like the woman who only wanted a bite of a baker’s shoulder. She got the bite and seemed happy; we hope the baker was too. Or the princess who had her husband killed; she ate part of him and saved the rest for later. I know a woman—she was wild and lived in Lamoo on the East Coast of Africa—who had twins, a tiny baby boy and a big chubby baby girl. I saw her a few days later, sitting in front of her bamboo hut and softly singing to her little son.

“But, in the name of goodness,” said I, “what have you got in the pot? French missionary?”

“But, for goodness’ sake,” I said, “what do you have in the pot? A French missionary?”

“No,” she said; exhibiting no sort of surprise at my question, for a dish of French[Pg 211] missionary was by no means unknown in those parts. And she intimated to me, that it was only the baby girl, with whom she intended to feed the little baby boy, as he had not got fair play; and so the majesty of justice was maintained.

“No,” she said, showing no surprise at my question, since a dish of French[Pg 211] missionary wasn’t unusual around here. She let me know that it was only the baby girl she planned to feed to the little baby boy, as he hadn’t gotten a fair chance; and so the majesty of justice was upheld.

Cats are greatly sensible of the honour of maternity, and when deprived of their kittens feel very wretched indeed. Under these circumstances, they will nurse and suckle almost any creature.

Cats are very aware of the importance of motherhood, and when they are separated from their kittens, they feel incredibly sad. In these situations, they will nurse and care for almost any animal.

Cats rearing Dogs.—A cat of mine, a few years ago, suckled and reared a beautiful Pomeranian dog. I thought at the time this was rather surprising; but I should not be surprised now at anything a cat did.

Cats Raising Dogs.—A cat of mine, a few years ago, nursed and raised a beautiful Pomeranian dog. I found this quite surprising at the time; but now, I wouldn't be shocked by anything a cat does.

A gentleman, the other day, had a very nice fox-terrier bitch. The poor thing died giving birth to a litter of four puppies. His cat, however, whose kittens had been all drowned a day or too before, immediately installed herself in the vacant bed and adopted the puppies. She proved a good mother to them, and successfully reared every one of them.

A gentleman the other day had a lovely female fox-terrier. Unfortunately, she died while giving birth to four puppies. His cat, whose kittens had all drowned a day or two earlier, instantly took over the empty bed and adopted the puppies. She turned out to be a good mother to them and successfully raised each one.

[Pg 212]I know of another similar instance, where a cat was house-mate with a rather valuable bitch; this bitch brought forth a litter of seven pups. The cat had five kittens at the same time. Thinking that seven whelps were rather many for the bitch to rear, four of pussy’s kittens were drowned and two pups put to her instead. But pussy peremptorily refused to have anything to say to them, and persisted in that refusal until the expedient was tried of drowning the remaining kitten. That brought the cat to her senses; and she took to her foster children kindly enough and reared them. This same cat afterwards suckled a puppy and kitten at the same time.

[Pg 212]I know of another similar case where a cat shared a home with a valuable female dog; the dog gave birth to a litter of seven puppies. The cat had five kittens at the same time. Thinking that seven pups was too much for the dog to take care of, four of the cat's kittens were drowned and two pups were placed with her instead. However, the cat absolutely refused to accept them and stuck to that refusal until they tried drowning the last kitten. That finally made the cat come around; she then took to her foster pups kindly and raised them. This same cat later nursed a puppy and a kitten at the same time.

One day she gave birth to her kittens in an out-house, and at once leaving them to shift for themselves, she entered the dwelling house and insisted on giving suck to the dog of her first adoption. As he was now a full-grown dog, and had a great regard for his own respectability, he didn’t see the fun of it. Pussy went after him nevertheless, lying down in front of him, and mewing[Pg 213] piteously up in his face. When, to get rid of her importunities, the dog went out, she even followed him to the street, and only ceased pestering him, when her kittens were discovered and brought to her.

One day she gave birth to her kittens in an out-house, and right away left them to fend for themselves. She went into the main house and insisted on nursing the dog she had adopted first. Since he was now a full-grown dog and valued his own dignity, he didn't find it amusing. Still, she pursued him, lying down in front of him and meowing[Pg 213] pitifully in his face. When the dog went outside to escape her pleas, she even followed him into the street and only stopped bothering him when her kittens were found and brought to her.

Cat Adopting her Grand-Children.—A lady had two cats, mother and daughter, living in the same house with her. The mother was of a quiet, domesticated turn of mind, and preferred fire-side enjoyments to out-of-door sports; but the daughter was quite the reverse. She was a mighty huntress, and it was no uncommon thing, to see her coming waddling across the fields with a rabbit as big as herself in her mouth. Both these cats had kittens at the same time, but the daughter seemed determined, that nursing should not interfere with her hunting expeditions. She was a strong-minded woman’s-rights sort of a cat, and was often scouring the country in pursuit of game, when her poor little family were starving at home. One day she went off as usual, and was never afterwards seen alive: her mangled remains were found a little way down the[Pg 214] line, where she had been run over by a railway train.

Cat Adopting Her Grandkids.—A woman had two cats, a mother and her daughter, living with her. The mother was calm and preferred cozy moments by the fireplace over outdoor activities, but the daughter was completely different. She was a fierce huntress, and it was common to see her waddling across the fields with a rabbit as big as she was in her mouth. Both cats had kittens at the same time, but the daughter was determined that nursing wouldn’t stop her from hunting. She was a strong-minded, independent type of cat and often roamed the countryside in search of prey while her little family starved at home. One day she left as usual and was never seen alive again; her mangled remains were found a little way down the[Pg 214] line, where she had been run over by a train.

“We were just about,” says the lady, “to drown the little orphan kits, when, to our surprise, we found that old grandmamma puss had adopted her ill-fated daughter’s children, and was nursing and tending them, with the same amount of care and attention she bestowed on her own.”

“We were just about,” says the lady, “to drown the little orphan kittens, when, to our surprise, we found that old grandma cat had adopted her unfortunate daughter’s babies and was nursing and taking care of them with the same amount of care and attention she gave to her own.”

I know an instance where two cats, resident in the same house, had had kittens on the same day. There being no chance of finding homes for so many, they were all drowned with the exception of three. Now these two mother-cats were wise in their day and generation. No one cat, they thought, could nurse and suckle ten kits, and it was equally evident that three kittens did not require the services of two cats. So they concluded that the best plan would be to put the shattered remains of the two families,—“Your one kitty, Mrs. Tom, and my two,”—together in one bed, and take turn about in nursing them. This was accordingly done, and turned out to be a very satisfactory arrangement[Pg 215] for all parties concerned; for either cat could now go abroad when she pleased, happy in the thought that nothing could go wrong at home.

I know a story about two cats that lived in the same house and had kittens on the same day. Since there wasn't a way to find homes for all of them, they ended up drowning most of the kittens, except for three. These two mother cats were clever for their time. They thought that one cat couldn't nurse and take care of ten kittens, and it was just as clear that three kittens didn’t need the help of two cats. So, they decided the best plan would be to combine their reduced families—“Your one kitten, Mrs. Tom, and my two”—into one bed and take turns caring for them. This arrangement worked out well for everyone involved, as either cat could go out whenever she wanted, confident that everything was fine at home.[Pg 215]

Nursing a Hare.—A certain carpenter whom I knew had a cat which in due season,—as all cats will,—produced a litter of kittens which—very cruel and thoughtless was the action—were all drowned. Poor pussy mourned her offspring for many days, but she was a female philosopher—that may seem a paradox, but she was; so she communed with herself on her bed at night, thus,—

Nursing a Rabbit.—A carpenter I knew had a cat that, as all cats do, had a litter of kittens. In a very cruel and thoughtless act, they were all drowned. Poor cat mourned her babies for many days, but she was a female philosopher—this might sound strange, but it was true; so she reflected on her bed at night, thinking,—

“My inhuman master has most unfeelingly slain all my pretty little babes, and has not left me one; but he cannot dry up the fountains of a mother’s love, with which my heart runs o’er; besides, I’m taking the milk-fever. But behold, day is gently breaking. I’ll seek the mountain, and be it what it may, I’ll have something to love, something to suckle me.”

“My cruel master has heartlessly killed all my dear little babies, and hasn’t left me even one; but he can’t dry up the wellsprings of a mother’s love, which fills my heart to overflowing; besides, I’m feeling the effects of losing them. But look, day is softly breaking. I’ll go to the mountain, and no matter what happens, I’ll find something to love, something to nurture me.”

That day she found, or more probably stole, a fine young hare, which she nursed and reared as tenderly as if it had been one of her own kittens.

That day she found, or more likely stole, a young hare, which she cared for and raised as lovingly as if it were one of her own kittens.

[Pg 216]Nursing Squirrels.—This is by no means uncommon in cats. They will rear them either along with their own kittens or by themselves; and a very pretty sight it is to see. Squirrels thus reared make most delightful little pets.

[Pg 216]Nursing squirrels.—This isn't uncommon in cats. They often raise them alongside their own kittens or on their own, and it's a lovely sight to witness. Squirrels raised this way make the most charming little pets.

Nursing Chickens.—I know several instances of cats supplying the place of their lost kittens with a chicken. One cat, for example, had had all her offspring,—it was her first litter,—drowned; she went at once out into the court-yard, where a hen was gathering crumbs to a large brood of chickens. One of these pussy, watching her chance, sprang upon and seized by the neck, and although hotly pursued by the enraged mother, managed to reach the house in safety, and went straight to her own bed. Here she deposited the chicken, and, lying down beside it, commenced to sing, clearly intimating that she wished her little adopted one to have a drink. But unfortunately, chickie’s mouth wasn’t adapted for sucking, but it cowered beside her for warmth; and as there were plenty of crumbs on the kitchen[Pg 217] floor, it did not want. So it became a sort of household pet, and when not eating, it was always cuddling down beside its funny foster-mother. I may mention here, that next time this same cat had kittens they were all drowned again; but this time she did a wiser thing. She found out that a cat, belonging to one of the neighbours, was the happy mother of three kittens which she had been allowed to keep. Off goes puss to this neighbour’s house, and having thrashed the mother to begin with, she kidnapped and carried home one of her family. Several times was the kitten taken back, and each time pussy went and stole it again; and as she never failed to give the other cat a preliminary hiding, it was at last deemed most prudent to let her retain it.

Raising Chickens.—I know several cases where cats have replaced their lost kittens with a chicken. One cat, for example, had all her kittens—this was her first litter—drowned. She immediately went out into the courtyard, where a hen was gathering crumbs for a large brood of chicks. One of these chicks, waiting for the right moment, jumped up and grabbed one by the neck, and even though it was closely chased by the furious mother hen, it managed to safely reach the house and headed straight for its new bed. Here, it dropped the chick and lay down beside it, starting to purr, clearly signaling that she wanted her little adopted one to have a drink. Unfortunately, the chick wasn’t able to suckle, but it snuggled beside her for warmth; and since there were plenty of crumbs on the kitchen floor, it was well-fed. So it became a kind of household pet, and when not eating, it was always curling up next to its quirky foster mother. I should mention that the next time this same cat had kittens, they all drowned again; but this time she acted more wisely. She discovered that a cat belonging to one of the neighbors was the proud mother of three kittens she was allowed to keep. Off the cat went to this neighbor’s house, and after beating up the mother, she kidnapped and brought home one of her kittens. The kitten was returned several times, and each time the cat went and stole it back; and since she never failed to give the other cat a handful of swats first, it was eventually considered best to let her keep it.

Miss G—— is an old maid, and a great lover of cats and poultry. Once she had a cat nursing a litter of kittens, and one of the chickens in the yard being rather deformed and not thriving, Miss G. brought it and flung it to the cat, thinking it would be a great treat to her. It was a treat to her,[Pg 218] though hardly in the way she expected, for pussy commenced licking it all over, and forthwith adopted it, and nursed it along with her kittens. She continued to do so until it grew into a large, leggy, and withal rather ungainly hen; and the most ridiculous part of the business was, that if at any time Tuckie longed for the society of her feathered fellow-creatures, pussy went after her like a shot, and seizing her by the neck lugged her back into the house, and jumped with her into Miss G.’s bed where her kittens were.

Miss G—— is a single woman who loves cats and chickens. Once, she had a cat that was nursing a litter of kittens, and one of the chickens in the yard was a bit deformed and not doing well. Miss G. brought it over and tossed it to the cat, thinking it would be a nice treat for her. It was a treat,[Pg 218] but not in the way she expected, because the cat started licking it all over and quickly adopted it, nursing it alongside her kittens. She did this until the chicken grew into a large, long-legged, and somewhat awkward hen; the funniest part was that anytime Tuckie wanted to hang out with her fellow chickens, the cat would chase after her, grab her by the neck, and drag her back into the house, jumping into Miss G.'s bed with her kittens.

A gentleman in New Deer, also possessed a cat who reared a chicken to hen-hood. In this case the adopted chicken was nursed alone, pussy’s kittens having been drowned. This fowl’s neck, was actually crooked with the cat’s carrying her about so much in her mouth, so she always held her head very much to one side, and was upon the whole a very ugly hen. We see, then, that chicken-rearing by cats does not give that amount of satisfaction which is desired. It might pay, though, if they could do the hatching; but cats at present cannot[Pg 219] be taught to sit upon eggs. There is no saying what the future may bring forth, though, for a much more gifted animal will be the coming cat.

A man in New Deer also had a cat that raised a chicken until it became a hen. In this case, the adopted chicken was raised alone because the cat's kittens had been drowned. The chicken's neck ended up crooked from being carried around so much in the cat's mouth, causing it to always hold its head to one side, making it quite an ugly hen overall. So, we see that chickens raised by cats don't provide the expected satisfaction. It might be worth it if cats could do the hatching, but right now, they can’t be taught to sit on eggs. Who knows what the future will bring, though, because a much more talented animal will be the coming cat.[Pg 219]

I think the reader will now be prepared to hear of cats—

I think the reader is now ready to hear about cats—

Nursing Hedgehogs.—Yes, three of those thorny little things were actually nursed, suckled, and reared lately by a cat belonging to a gentleman, who is very fond of trying experiments of this sort. When they grew up, and were in good feather, they were very tricky and funny; but pussy soon found out that they didn’t stand correction well. If she lifted a paw to them, pooh! they were transformed into three round prickly balls, before the blow fell, and pussy’s paw had the worst of it. Then the poor cat would look sulkily from one little ball to another, and turning about, walk off in disgust. But three pairs of bright beady eyes were keeking at her from among the thorns; and before she had reached the fender, the little pigs were all unfolded and after her at the galop. Round would wheel[Pg 220] the cat, and up would roll the hogs again, then pussy would seat herself in front, and keep them thus for an hour at a time, by gently tapping each ball as it attempted to unroll itself.

Caring for Hedgehogs.—Yes, three of those prickly little creatures were actually nursed, suckled, and raised recently by a cat owned by a gentleman who enjoys experimenting like this. As they grew up and got fluffy, they became quite mischievous and entertaining; however, the cat soon realized that they didn’t take correction well. If she raised a paw at them, poof! they would turn into three round, spiky balls before she could hit them, and her paw ended up worse off. The poor cat would then sulk, looking from one little ball to another, and walk away in frustration. But three pairs of bright, beady eyes would peek at her from among the thorns, and before she reached the fireplace, the little hoglets would unroll and chase after her at a gallop. The cat would turn in circles, and the hogs would roll up again, then the cat would sit in front of them, keeping them in check for an hour at a time by gently tapping each ball as it tried to unroll itself.

Suckling Rats.—Some years ago there was a cat in Scotland who, when three of her kittens were drowned, supplied their place by bringing in three young rats to make up the number. She must have known something of arithmetic too, for, when one of the little rats died, she went out and carried in another, still to have the number five. But still another died, and probably she could not find any more, for she contented herself with nursing, and tending the two remaining ones, along with her own two kittens. I never heard what eventually became of the rats. I don’t think she would have eaten them. More probably they lived and grew, and went back as missionaries to their own people.

Nursing Rats.—A few years ago, there was a cat in Scotland who, after three of her kittens drowned, replaced them by bringing in three young rats to keep the count the same. She must have had some understanding of numbers too, because when one of the little rats died, she went out and brought in another one, ensuring there were still five. But then another one died, and since she probably couldn't find any more, she settled for nursing and caring for the two remaining rats along with her own two kittens. I never found out what happened to the rats in the end. I doubt she would have eaten them. More likely they survived and returned as missionaries to their own kind.

 

 


CHAPTER XIX.

[See Note R, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

PUSSY’S PLAYMATES.

Pussy's Playmates.

I have already shown in former chapters, how loving and affectionate pussy is towards her master and mistress, and how thoughtful and kind a mother she is. But to her playmates also she is ever gentle and true, whether that playmate be another cat, or an animal of quite a distinct breed. I have never known a cat cement a friendship with any creature, without such friendship lasting till death. How very wrong then to accuse pussy of being treacherous! With almost any animal that happens to be domesticated about the same house, a cat will strike up a friendship, and will be ready at any time to fight for it, and protect it from harm. It is quite a common thing to see a cat amusing itself playing with rabbits, or guinea pigs, at hide-and-seek among the bushes, or on the lawn. There is often a distinct understanding[Pg 222] between some old horse or cow about the place. I have known a cat live entirely in the stable, and invariably go to sleep on a particular horse’s back; the horse in his turn used to welcome her with a fond neigh when she came home at night.

I’ve already shown in previous chapters how loving and affectionate a cat is toward her owner, and how thoughtful and caring she is as a mother. But she’s also always gentle and true to her playmates, whether that playmate is another cat or a completely different animal. I’ve never seen a cat form a friendship with any creature without that friendship lasting until death. So it’s very wrong to accuse cats of being untrustworthy! Almost any domesticated animal in the same house will strike up a friendship with a cat, and she will always be ready to fight for it and protect it from harm. It’s quite common to see a cat having fun playing hide-and-seek with rabbits or guinea pigs among the bushes or on the lawn. There’s often a clear understanding [Pg 222] between her and some old horse or cow around the place. I’ve known a cat to live entirely in the stable and consistently sleep on the back of a particular horse; the horse, in turn, would greet her with a loving neigh when she came home at night.

In a village in the Highlands of Scotland, where I resided, there was a crow, a very very old, bald-headed crow, used to come morning and evening, for many months, and sit on the fence opposite, until I threw him a slice of bread or a cold boiled potato. One morning I was surprised on opening the door to find the old Bird-o’-freedom, as I called him, standing on the step. Instead of flying away, he hopped past me into the room, and perching himself on the fender, looked so knowingly first at me and then at the fire, that for the life of me I could not help thinking about Poe’s raven and shuddering, fully expecting the bird would presently say, “Nevermore.” If he could have spoken, I am sure he would have addressed me something after this fashion:—

In a village in the Scottish Highlands where I lived, there was a very old, bald crow that came by every morning and evening for many months, sitting on the fence across from me until I tossed him a slice of bread or a cold boiled potato. One morning, I was surprised to find the old Bird-o’-freedom, as I called him, standing on my doorstep when I opened the door. Instead of flying away, he hopped past me into the room and perched on the fender, looking knowingly at me and then at the fire. It made me think of Poe’s raven, and I couldn’t help but shudder, fully expecting the bird to say, “Nevermore.” If he could have spoken, I’m sure he would have addressed me something like this:—

[Pg 223]“Doctor, you’re something of an animal fancier, and I know you’re not a bad-hearted chap on the whole. Now the fact is, I’m feeling rather poorly, and the forest winds are cold of a night; besides, I’m not so young as I have been,—I’m nigh on ninety, lad,—so I intend for my few remaining days to take my pick in a homely way at your fireside. The cat won’t bite, will she?”

[Pg 223]“Doc, you’re quite the animal lover, and I know you’re basically a good guy. The truth is, I’m not feeling well, and the forest winds get pretty cold at night. Plus, I’m not as young as I used to be—I’m almost ninety, kid—so I plan to spend my remaining days comfortably by your fireside. The cat won’t scratch me, right?”

In fact, Muffie had fully made up her mind to turn him out of doors there and then, and with that hospitable intention was now approaching him. But Bird-o’-freedom opened his mouth, and gave vent to two such caws, as nearly shook the house. I never heard any bird have such lungs. Muffie was fairly startled, and scampered off with her tail in the air; but in a few days the cat and he were as thick as thieves. In truth, Bird-o’-freedom was a thief, at least, as far as eggs went. If he spied one in the cupboard, he watched his chance, and when it came, one dig laid the egg open, and next second the contents were down his throat with one almighty gulp. I allowed him two[Pg 224] eggs a day, but he would not take them if I offered them to him, or before my face; I had to lay them one by one in the cupboard, and give him the pleasure of stealing them. Muffie was never better pleased than when he was eating, and she sat and sang to him while he drank the milk from her saucer. Then she would sit and sleep cheek by jowl with him for hours. A cat with whom Muffie had never had any words before, once looked into the room, Muffie drove her out with terrible suddenness, and thrashed her properly outside the door. When the candles were lit in the long winter evenings, Bird-o’-freedom, perched upon the fender, used to look up at me so slyly, and yet so solemnly with one wicked eye, that I used to doubt whether he wasn’t the devil entirely, and fly to my fiddle to dispel the thoughts. The poor crow had a fit one morning, and died on his back on the hearth-rug; and when he was dead, the cat was chief mourner. She went about for days, searching for her lost favourite, and mourning all the while, for her grief was really sincere.

Muffie was determined to kick him out right then and there, and with that friendly goal in mind, she started heading toward him. But Bird-o’-freedom opened his mouth and let out two caws that nearly shook the house. I'd never heard a bird with such a loud voice. Muffie was totally startled and ran off with her tail in the air, but within a few days, the cat and he were inseparable. In fact, Bird-o’-freedom was a bit of a thief, at least when it came to eggs. If he spotted one in the cupboard, he’d wait for the right moment, and when it came, he’d crack the egg open in one swift motion, swallowing the contents in one huge gulp. I allowed him two[Pg 224] eggs a day, but he wouldn’t take them if I offered them to him or if I was watching; I had to lay them one by one in the cupboard and let him enjoy the thrill of stealing them. Muffie was always happiest when he was eating, and she would sit and sing to him while he drank milk from her saucer. Then she’d curl up and nap right next to him for hours. One time, a cat that Muffie had never had any issues with before peeked into the room, but Muffie chased her away in an instant and properly thrashed her outside the door. When the candles were lit during the long winter evenings, Bird-o’-freedom would perch on the fender, looking up at me slyly yet seriously with one mischievous eye, making me wonder if he might actually be the devil, prompting me to grab my fiddle to shake off those thoughts. Sadly, the poor crow had a fit one morning and died on his back on the hearth-rug. When he passed, the cat was the main mourner. She wandered around for days, searching for her lost friend and mourning the whole time, as her sadness was truly genuine.

[Pg 225]“Tabby,” writes a lady to me, “had been poisoned. Shortly before her death, we had her brought upstairs and laid down on the rug in front of the fire,—she was very ill, and unable to lift her head. Tom came bouncing as usual into the room, and sitting down beside her, with his paw playfully patted her on the face; but getting no response, it actually then seemed as if he understood how serious the case really was, because with the same paw he gently raised her head up a little, and kindly licked her all over. It was very affecting, and was more than we expected from him; but certainly he got great credit for the good deed, and ever after had the character of being the warmest-hearted of cats,—and poor Tabby died in his arms.”

[Pg 225]“Tabby,” a woman wrote to me, “had been poisoned. Just before she passed away, we brought her upstairs and laid her down on the rug in front of the fire—she was very sick and couldn’t lift her head. Tom came bouncing into the room as usual, and after sitting down beside her, he playfully patted her face with his paw; but when she didn’t respond, it really seemed like he understood how serious things were. With the same paw, he gently lifted her head a bit and lovingly licked her all over. It was deeply moving and more than we expected from him; he definitely earned a lot of praise for that act of kindness, and from then on, he was known as the warmest-hearted of cats—and poor Tabby died in his arms.”

Every one knows what a warm friendship will often spring up between a cat and a dog, both resident in the same house. How they will sleep in each other’s arms, eat together, fight for one another; how generous the dog is towards any weaknesses she may display; and how grateful pussy is in return. They will have their little tiffs occasionally, of[Pg 226] course. I have seen my cat jump on the piano-stool more than once, in order to slap Master Nero in the face; upon which the dog, swearing like the British in Flanders, hauled her off, and rubbed her well on the carpet, but did not really hurt her.

Everyone knows how a warm friendship can often develop between a cat and a dog living in the same house. They sleep in each other’s arms, eat together, and defend one another; the dog is so forgiving of any quirks the cat may have, and the cat shows gratitude in return. They’ll have their little disagreements occasionally, of[Pg 226] course. I’ve seen my cat jump onto the piano stool more than once to smack Master Nero in the face; then the dog, cursing like the British in Flanders, would pull her off and rub her on the carpet, but he never really hurt her.

The Czar and Whiskey.—Whiskey in this case does not mean something to drink. It was the name—and a very appropriate name it was—of a little Scotch terrier, who lived in a village in the far north of Scotland. In the same house with him dwelt the Czar,—this was a large bluish-black cat, who was said to have been imported from Russia—hence his name. No two animals in the world could have loved each other more devotedly, than did the Czar and little Whiskey. And Whiskey was the gamest of the game, yet he never showed his teeth to his feline friend. From the same dish they took their meals, Whiskey merely premising that he should have all the bones. They were together all day, save when Whiskey’s duty to his master called him away, and at night they shared the same couch, the Czar fondly[Pg 227] taking Whiskey in his arms because he was the biggest. I’m not sure, indeed, whether the Czar did not waken Whiskey, when that little gentleman took the nightmare. However, they were as loving as loving could be. And, once or twice every week, this kindly couple used to go out hunting together. They did not care for game-laws, and heeded not the keepers—they were a law unto themselves. On these occasions, they used to go out together in the morning, and after spending all the long day among the hills and woods, they invariably came home before dark. This coming home before nightfall, was doubtless a suggestion of Whiskey’s, for a dog can neither see so well in the dark as a cat, nor can his constitution so well withstand the dews of night. But the very fact of the Czar’s keeping early hours to please Whiskey, is another proof of how he loved him. And almost every night, these sons of Nimrod brought home with them some trophy from the hunting-ground. Sometimes it was a rabbit, more often a bird—if the latter, Whiskey generally had the[Pg 228] honour of carrying it, and very proud he was of the distinction; if a rabbit, the Czar bore the burden. And so things went on, till one mournful night, poor Whiskey came home later than usual, and all alone. He came in, but lay down on the door-mat, out of which he would not budge an inch. He refused his porridge and all consolation, and lay there in a listening attitude, starting up every minute at the slightest sound. His mistress went to bed and left him. It must have been long past midnight, when Whiskey came dashing into his mistress’s bedroom, knocking over a chair in his hurry, and barking wildly as he dashed hither and thither, like a mad thing. When his mistress got up at last, poor little Whiskey preceded her to the door, barking and looking very anxious and excited. A pitiful mew was heard, and on the lady opening the door, in rushed Czar the cat on three legs—he had left the other in a trap. Nothing could exceed the kindness of Whiskey to his wounded playmate. He threw himself down beside her on the rug whining and crying with grief, and gently[Pg 229] licked her bleeding stump. And every day for weeks did Whiskey apply hot fomentations, with his soft wee tongue to pussy’s leg, till it was entirely healed. But they had no more romping together in the fields and woods, for the Czar’s hunting-days were over—in this world at least.

The Czar and Whiskey.—In this case, "Whiskey" doesn’t refer to a drink. It was actually the name—an apt one—of a little Scotch terrier who lived in a village in the far north of Scotland. Living in the same house was the Czar—a large bluish-black cat, rumored to have been imported from Russia, which is how he got his name. No two animals in the world could have loved each other more than the Czar and little Whiskey. Whiskey was the bravest of the brave, yet he never showed his teeth to his feline friend. They shared their meals from the same dish, with Whiskey simply insisting he would take all the bones. They were together all day, except when Whiskey had to attend to his owner, and at night they shared the same couch, with the Czar fondly [Pg 227] cradling Whiskey in his arms because he was the bigger one. I can’t say for sure if the Czar woke Whiskey up when that little guy had a nightmare. Still, they were as affectionate as two friends could be. Once or twice a week, this sweet pair would head out hunting together. They didn’t care about hunting regulations and ignored the gamekeepers—they made their own rules. On those outings, they’d leave together in the morning, and after spending the entire day in the hills and woods, they always came home before it got dark. Coming home before nightfall was likely Whiskey's idea, since a dog can’t see as well in the dark as a cat, nor can he handle the night dew as well. The fact that the Czar kept early hours to make Whiskey happy shows just how much he loved him. Almost every night, these adventurous buddies brought back some trophy from their hunting expeditions. Sometimes it was a rabbit, more often a bird—if it was a bird, Whiskey often had the [Pg 228] honor of carrying it, swelling with pride at the distinction; if it was a rabbit, the Czar carried it. And so they continued like this until one sad night when poor Whiskey came home later than usual, all by himself. He came in but laid down on the doormat, refusing to move. He turned down his porridge and any comfort, lying there in a listening position, jumping up at the slightest sound. His owner went to bed and left him. It must have been well past midnight when Whiskey burst into his owner's bedroom, knocking over a chair in his haste and barking wildly as he dashed around like a mad dog. When his owner finally got up, poor little Whiskey raced ahead to the door, barking and looking very worried and excited. A pitiful mew was heard, and when the lady opened the door, in rushed the Czar on three legs—having lost the other to a trap. Nothing could compare to Whiskey’s kindness to his injured friend. He collapsed next to her on the rug, whining and crying in grief, and gently [Pg 229] licked her bleeding stump. Every day for weeks, Whiskey applied hot compresses with his soft little tongue to the cat’s leg until it fully healed. But they could no longer romp together in the fields and woods, for the Czar’s hunting days were over—in this world, at least.

 

 


CHAPTER XX.

[See Note S, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

PUSSY AND THE HARE.

CAT AND THE HARE.

In the parish of P——, Aberdeenshire, there lived some years ago a crofter and his wife, and a little boy their only son. A fine she-tabby cat who nightly sang duets with the kettle to welcome the master home, was the only other member of the family.

In the parish of P——, Aberdeenshire, there lived a few years ago a crofter and his wife, along with their young son, who was their only child. The only other member of the family was a lovely female tabby cat that sang duets with the kettle each night to greet the master when he came home.

One day, while roaming over the moorland in search of birds’ nests, the boy found a young hare, sound asleep among the heather. Such a prize was worth any number of birds’ eggs, and the lad carried it tenderly home and presented it to his mother, and it was that night placed in a box in the cow-byre. Next morning it was gone—puss had eaten it no doubt, and no one could blame her. Pussy had had kittens, only a day or two before, and they had all been drowned. For about a week after the disappearance of the hare, it was observed, that pussy was not so regular in her attendance on the house as usual.[Pg 231] She never lay by the fire—the kettle might sing its duets by itself; she ate her meals hurriedly and greedily, and then escaped out.

One day, while wandering around the moor searching for birds’ nests, the boy found a young hare, sound asleep in the heather. That find was worth more than any number of bird eggs, so he gently carried it home and gave it to his mother, and that night it was placed in a box in the barn. The next morning, it was gone—most likely eaten by the cat, and no one could blame her. The cat had just had kittens a day or two before, and they had all drowned. For about a week after the hare’s disappearance, it was noticed that the cat wasn’t showing up around the house as much as usual.[Pg 231] She never lay by the fire—the kettle could sing its duets all on its own; she ate her meals quickly and hungrily, then darted back out.

“It’s the hare she ate that’s no agreeing wi’ her,” said the goodman. “There’s mair in it than that,” said the canny goodwife; and, with a woman’s instinct, she followed pussy out and up into the hay-loft; and, lo and behold! there lay the cat, in a snug little bed, suckling the lost hare, and singing as sweetly as a linnet. Pussy reared the hare, and they became inseparables. At breakfast pussy always waited until the hare had finished, and when there happened to be broth for dinner—a dish the hare did not relish—the cat never failed to beg for a piece of bread, which she carried at once to her strange foster-child. The cat and hare went everywhere together; sometimes indeed they might be seen fully a mile from home. This cat was a famous hunter, and always brought her dead rabbits home. It was funny, at times, to see the pair coming from the fields at even, the cat with her dead quarry in her mouth, creeping stealthily along, her eyes in[Pg 232] every direction, and the big hare, rather out of breath, bringing up the rear, and looking very foolish, as if he didn’t exactly know what it all meant, and rather deprecated the cat’s conduct than otherwise. This cat could fish; for one day a gentleman hooked a large salmon in the river, and after running it for nearly two hours his line broke and he lost it. Now, this salmon was found next morning on the cottar’s door-step. The cat and hare were both present; and as there is no account on record of hares fishing, we think the credit of the capture must be given to pussy. For two years this strangely matched couple were friends, and bosom companions, for they slept together. But, one fine summer’s day they were lying in front of the house half-asleep in the sunshine,—the hare at one side of the door, pussy at the other, and the cottar’s wife knitting between them.

“It’s the hare she ate that’s not sitting well with her,” said the goodman. “There’s more to it than that,” said the clever goodwife; and, with a woman’s intuition, she followed the cat out and up into the hay-loft; and, lo and behold! there lay the cat, in a cozy little bed, nursing the lost hare, and singing as sweetly as a bird. The cat raised the hare, and they became inseparable. At breakfast, the cat always waited until the hare finished, and when there was broth for dinner—a dish the hare didn’t like—the cat never failed to ask for a piece of bread, which she would immediately take to her unusual foster-child. The cat and hare went everywhere together; sometimes they could even be seen a mile from home. This cat was a skilled hunter and always brought her dead rabbits home. It was amusing at times to see the pair coming back from the fields in the evening, the cat with her dead prey in her mouth, stealthily creeping along, her eyes scanning every direction, and the big hare, slightly out of breath, following behind and looking quite silly, as if he didn’t really understand what was going on and was somewhat disapproving of the cat’s actions. This cat could also fish; for one day a gentleman hooked a large salmon in the river, and after pulling it for nearly two hours, his line broke, and he lost it. Now, this salmon was found the next morning on the cottar’s doorstep. The cat and hare were both there; and since there’s no record of hares fishing, we think the credit for the catch must go to the cat. For two years, this strangely matched pair were friends and close companions, sleeping together. But one fine summer day, they were lying in front of the house, half-asleep in the sunshine—the hare on one side of the door, the cat on the other, and the cottar’s wife knitting between them.

The whole scene was one “of peas,” and might have remained so, only tragedy, in the shape of farmer Dick’s big, disreputable collie, was at that precise moment peeping round a corner and taking stock.

The whole scene was one “of peas,” and could have stayed that way, but tragedy, in the form of farmer Dick’s big, scruffy collie, was just then peeking around a corner and sizing things up.

[Pg 233]“Hullo!” said the dog to himself; “it’s a—no, it isn’t; yes, it is; hang me, if it isn’t—a hare—as cheeky as you like too. I’ll teach him.”

[Pg 233]“Hello!” the dog said to himself; “it’s a—no, it isn’t; yes, it is; I swear, if it isn’t—a hare—as bold as can be. I’ll show him.”

And he did. The poor hare never required another lesson. Nor did pussy lose any time in giving the dog one. Rendered frantic by her poor friend’s death, she sprang on his back and tore him with tooth and nail. One of the dog’s eyes was entirely destroyed; and it need not be added he ever after gave that house a wide berth. After the untimely fate of her foster-child, pussy was extremely disconsolate, moping about and never caring to leave the house. She had not long to mourn for him however, for some months after she fell a victim to her own curiosity; for, like women, cats are extremely prying.

And she did. The poor hare never needed another lesson. Nor did the cat waste any time giving the dog one. Driven mad by her friend's death, she jumped on his back and attacked him with her claws and teeth. One of the dog's eyes was completely destroyed; and it goes without saying he always avoided that house after that. After the tragic fate of her foster child, the cat was very upset, wandering around and never wanting to leave the house. However, she didn't have long to mourn, because a few months later she became a victim of her own curiosity; like women, cats are extremely nosy.

The cottar’s wife was one day melting some tallow in a large tea-pot, which after using she left by the fire-side; and that night, when every one was in bed, pussy, who had been dying all day to know what was inside that tea-pot, “pirled” off the lid and popped her imprudent head in. Alas! she never[Pg 234] got it out again. About midnight the honest couple—snug in bed—were awakened by a dreadful clattering noise in the kitchen, along the passage, and on the stair.

The cottar's wife was melting some tallow in a big teapot one day, and after she was done, she left it by the fireplace. That night, when everyone was asleep, the cat, who had been curious all day about what was in that teapot, lifted the lid and stuck her head inside. Unfortunately, she never[Pg 234]managed to pull it back out. Around midnight, the honest couple—snug in bed—were awakened by a terrible clattering noise coming from the kitchen, down the hallway, and up the stairs.

“Geordie, Geordie! rise and see,” said the good wife, nudging her goodman.

“Geordie, Geordie! Wake up and see,” said the good wife, nudging her husband.

“Jean, Jean! rise and see yersel’,” said he, nudging her in turn.

“Jean, Jean! Get up and see yourself,” he said, nudging her in turn.

“It’s Hallow E’en, Geordie,” cried Jean; “and there is a deil, or deils rather, in the house, I ken.” For the reader must bear in mind that, though banished from English soil, fairies, bogles, and all that ilk, still linger among the breckans of our Scottish glades and glens; and annually on the night of 31st October, they play a thousand pranks under the direct supervision of the archfiend himself. This superstition proved fatal to poor puss. Gradually the noise got less, and soon ceased entirely. Next morning, the cottar’s wife was up betimes and downstairs. She soon returned, wringing her hands and weeping bitterly.

“It’s Hallow E’en, Geordie,” shouted Jean; “and there’s a devil, or devils actually, in the house, I know.” Because the reader should keep in mind that, even though they’ve been driven from English land, fairies, bogles, and all that sort still hang around the underbrush of our Scottish woods and valleys; and every year on the night of October 31st, they pull a bunch of tricks under the direct supervision of the archfiend himself. This superstition turned out to be deadly for poor kitty. Gradually, the noise faded and soon stopped altogether. The next morning, the cottar’s wife was up early and downstairs. She quickly came back, wringing her hands and crying hard.

“Oh! Geordie,” she cried; “come doon and see what the deil has done to our poor pussy.”

“Oh! Geordie,” she exclaimed; “come down and see what the devil has done to our poor kitty.”

 

 


CHAPTER XXI.

[See Note T, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

THE MILLER’S FRIEND—A TALE.

THE MILLER’S FRIEND—A STORY.

You might have travelled many a long summer’s day and not met with such another. The very look of him was enough to dispel all ideas of hunger: he was so big and so stout, yet withal so rosy and hardy. His voice had a cheery ring with it, which, combined with the merry twinkle in his eye, set you on good terms with yourself at once, if indeed it did not make you laugh outright. As for his laugh, to hear it once was to remember it for ever. It was hearty, it was musical; in pitch something between the Ha! ha! ha! and the Ho! ho! ho! and it rang through the old mill, wakening a dozen sleeping echoes, and causing the old bulldog to bark, although that quadruped had to lean against a pillar to perform the feat. The miller wasn’t a young man by any means; but though[Pg 236] he had no wife, he was the jolliest widower ever you saw, albeit his hair and whiskers were like the powdery snow. But his voice—ay, that was the bit—you should have heard it rising in song-snatches, and rolling high over the double bass of the grinding wheels and the shrill clack-clack of that merry old mill.

You might have traveled many long summer days and not encountered anyone like him. Just his appearance was enough to chase away any thoughts of hunger: he was large and robust, yet also rosy and vibrant. His voice had a cheerful ring to it that, paired with the joyful sparkle in his eye, instantly put you in a good mood, if it didn’t make you laugh out loud. As for his laugh, hearing it once was something you’d always remember. It was hearty and musical, pitching somewhere between “Ha! ha! ha!” and “Ho! ho! ho!” It echoed through the old mill, waking a dozen sleepy echoes and making the old bulldog bark, even though he had to lean against a pillar to manage it. The miller wasn’t young by any stretch; he was a jovial widower, despite the fact that his hair and whiskers were like powdery snow. But it was his voice—that’s what really stood out—you should have heard it rising in snippets of song, soaring above the deep rumble of the grinding wheels and the cheerful clatter of that merry old mill.

He was honest moreover. No one in the parish had ever been heard to accuse him of giving light weight, or adding sand to the meal to make it turn the scale sooner. And, as a matter of course, he was a general favourite, especially among the farmer’s daughters and servant-maids; so much so indeed, that all round the country it became the general custom to take meal by the stone, instead of by the bushel, that the “errands to the mill” might be all the more frequent. And indeed, however dull a lass might be, when she was going to the mill, she never left it without a rosier blush on her bonnie cheek, and a smile playing around her lips, as she trundled cheerily along with her bag upon her[Pg 237] head. Yes, indeed, had he wanted a wife, the miller might have married the youngest of them all. Such was the miller, and such too were the race he sprang from,—they were in the habit of getting young again, just at the age that other folks began to get old. They were in their prime at eighty, and never thought of departing this life, until the dial shadow of their existence began to creep near the hundred. Then all at once it used to strike Old Death, that he had forgotten all about them, so he would lift his scythe, and cut them down smartly and suddenly.

He was honest, too. No one in the parish had ever accused him of shortchanging or mixing sand into the flour to make it weigh more. Naturally, he was a favorite, especially with the farmer’s daughters and housemaids; so much so that it became common practice in the area to buy flour by the stone instead of by the bushel, so the “errands to the mill” would happen more often. And indeed, no matter how dull a girl might be, when she went to the mill, she always left with a rosy blush on her pretty cheeks and a smile on her lips as she cheerfully rolled along with her bag on her[Pg 237] head. Yes, if he had wanted a wife, the miller could have married the youngest of them all. Such was the miller, and such were his people—they had a knack for becoming younger just as everyone else started getting older. They were in their prime at eighty and never thought of leaving this life until the shadow of their existence crept close to a hundred. Then, suddenly, Old Death would realize he had forgotten all about them, so he’d raise his scythe and take them down quickly and unexpectedly.

And as the miller was jolly, so everything about that old mill was jolly too. There was music in the mill-lead as the waters leapt joyously from under the sluice, and hurried along to their task, and the great wheel itself, as it turned slowly and steadily round, seemed actually bursting with suppressed merriment. Then you should have seen the sweet little bit of scenery the mill was set down in. Ah! English tourists have yet to learn, that[Pg 238] there is one part of Scotland yet unhackneyed, yet uncockneyed, yet unspoiled, but still romantic enough to repay a journey from London-town. The mill was built by the banks of the wimpling Don,—built in a dingle, green rolling braes sloping up at one side, steep rocks on the other, and the river, here broad and fordable, rippling between. On the top of the rocks waved a tall pine forest; some of the trees hung by their roots over the cliff just as the storm had left them. ’Twas sweet in summertime to hear the birds singing in that forest, or to see the crimson glow of sunset glimmering through the branches; but how tall and dark and weirdly looked those trees, as they stretched their branches up into the green frosty sky of a quiet winter’s gloaming.

And since the miller was cheerful, everything about that old mill was cheerful too. There was music in the millstream as the water happily flowed from under the sluice and rushed along to do its work, and the big wheel itself, as it turned slowly and steadily, seemed to be bursting with hidden joy. Then you should have seen the lovely little bit of scenery where the mill was situated. Ah! English tourists still have to discover that[Pg 238] there’s a part of Scotland that’s untouched, unspoiled, and still romantic enough to make the trip from London worthwhile. The mill was built by the banks of the gurgling Don—set in a hollow, with green rolling hills rising on one side, steep rocks on the other, and the river, wide and shallow, flowing between. At the top of the rocks swayed a tall pine forest; some of the trees hung from their roots over the cliff just as the storm had left them. It was lovely in the summer to hear the birds singing in that forest or to see the warm glow of sunset shining through the branches; but how tall, dark, and eerily beautiful those trees looked as they stretched their branches up into the green, frosty sky of a quiet winter twilight.

To my friend the miller this wood had an especial attraction, for within its shade he had wooed his first, his early love. If you had scaled the little foot-path, that struggled up through the rocks, at the place where they were less precipitous, and[Pg 239] finally gained the cliff, just at the point where Snuffie Sandy tumbled over in the dark and broke his neck, you would have come to a little foot-path, that went windingly away among the tall solemn Scotch pines, to the roots of which the sun never penetrated even at noon, and whose massive trunks might have been mistaken in the sombre light, for the pillars in some gigantic cavern. Onward for a quarter of an hour, and you would suddenly have found yourself in a clearing in the midst of the forest. This clearing was fully a square mile in extent, and was tastefully laid out as a little farm, neat cottage and garden, barnyard, field, and fence, and all complete, as snug a little place as you could wish to see. Owing to its situation, there was quite an understanding between the domestic animals, and the denizens of the surrounding wood. In summertime the hare and the rabbit, browsed peacefully beside the cows and the sheep; the birds came regularly to the latter for a supply of wool to line their nests;[Pg 240] the hens and ducks shared their oats amicably with the wild pigeons; and old Dobbin the horse, who used to be tethered among the clover, didn’t mind the crows a bit: they used his back as a sort of moving hustings on which to debate politics or have an occasional stand-up fight, and when Dobbin lay down to rest they lovingly picked his teeth. And everything immediately around the cottage, was as natty and neat as the little farm itself. The greenest of garden gates led you into the sprucest of little gardens; the box was neatly trimmed; never a blade of grass grew on the gravel; and although there were not many flowers, it did one’s heart good in early spring to see the blue and yellow crocuses, peeping through the dun earth, and the sweet-scented primrose discs, diamonded with dew, reclining on the delicate green of their tender leaves. There was a rustic porch around the cottage door; it was formed of the unbarked stems of the spruce fir-tree, with just an inch of branch left on for effect, and the door[Pg 241] itself boasted of a brass knocker, bright enough to shave at; and had you knocked and been invited “ben” to the best-parlour, you would have found everything there too both trig and trim. There was nothing either on the mantle-piece or on the walls to offend your feelings. There were no hideous ornaments or foxy lithographs, but shells, and grass, and moss, and a few modest engravings and photo’s of friends. Instead of a chiffonier there was a neat chest of drawers, and instead of a piano a spinning-wheel. At this latter, Nannie, when not milking or attending to household matters, sat birring all day long, making music which, if not operatic, was at least natural, and suited Nannie and pleased the cat to a nicety. Nannie of course was the presiding goddess of the cottage and farm. The place was all her own. She kept a man and a laddie to do the out-work, and a tidy bit of a girl to assist her in-doors. Nannie from all accounts must have been alarmingly near forty, though she looked a full dozen of years younger, and beautiful[Pg 242] for even that age,—beautiful in regularity of features, in just sufficient colour, and in a lack of all coarseness. Taking her, figure and all combined, you would have said that, if not a lady, she was at least born to adorn a higher sphere. She had never been married, but didn’t look an old maid by any means. For Nannie had had her little history. And merry and cheerful as she always was during the day, still, when the day’s duties were over, and she had retired to her little chamber, after she had read her chapter and psalm and sat down to muse, there would come a strange sad look in her eyes, and at times a tear stood there, as she took from her pocket a portrait and a lock of dark brown hair. And that portrait on which she grazed so fondly, although the face was younger, was the miller’s; his, too, though different in colour, that lock of hair tied with blue, that seemed to cling caressingly around poor Nannie’s finger. For the miller and she had loved each other all their lives long. Oh! their story is quite[Pg 243] a common one,—a lover’s quarrel, a harsh word, and a silent parting: that was all. And the miller had gone off in a pet, and married a woman double his age. The marriage was as uncongenial as snow in summer; but now, though his wife had been long in her grave, the miller, though he knew he could get forgiveness at once from Nannie, never went to ask it, feeling he had erred too deeply to deserve it. So they had lived for years—those two loving hearts—with only the dark pine forest and the broad river between them.

To my friend the miller, this wood had a special charm because it was where he had courted his first love. If you had taken the little path that wound its way through the rocks, where it was less steep, and[Pg 239] finally reached the cliff—just at the spot where Snuffie Sandy fell in the dark and broke his neck—you would have come to another little path that twisted away among the tall, solemn Scotch pines, whose roots the sun never touched even at noon. Their massive trunks might have been mistaken for pillars in some gigantic cave. After walking for a quarter of an hour, you would have suddenly found yourself in a clearing in the middle of the forest. This clearing was about a square mile in size, beautifully arranged as a small farm, complete with a cozy cottage, a garden, a barnyard, fields, and fences—everything you could want in a snug little place. Because of its location, there was quite a harmony between the farm animals and the wildlife of the surrounding woods. In the summer, the hare and the rabbit grazed peacefully alongside the cows and the sheep; birds regularly visited the latter for wool to line their nests;[Pg 240] the hens and ducks shared their oats nicely with wild pigeons; and old Dobbin the horse, who was usually tied up among the clover, didn’t mind the crows at all. They used his back as a sort of moving platform for political debates or occasional squabbles, and when Dobbin lay down to rest, they affectionately picked his teeth. Everything around the cottage was as tidy as the little farm itself. The greenest garden gate led you into the prettiest little garden; the box hedges were neatly trimmed; not a blade of grass grew on the gravel; and while there weren’t many flowers, it warmed the heart in early spring to see the blue and yellow crocuses peeking through the brown earth, and the sweet-scented primroses, glistening with dew, resting on the delicate green of their tender leaves. There was a rustic porch around the cottage door; it was made of the unbarked stems of spruce fir trees, with just an inch of branch left for effect, and the door[Pg 241] itself displayed a brass knocker, shiny enough to shave in. If you had knocked and been invited “in” to the best parlor, you would have found everything there just as neat and tidy. Nothing on the mantle or the walls would have offended your sensibilities. There were no ugly decorations or tacky prints, just shells, grass, moss, and a few modest engravings and photos of friends. Instead of a dresser, there was a neat chest of drawers, and instead of a piano, a spinning wheel. At this spinning wheel, Nannie, when not milking or taking care of household tasks, sat spinning all day long, making music that, if not operatic, was at least natural, and perfectly suited to Nannie and pleasing to the cat. Nannie was, of course, the heart and soul of the cottage and farm. The whole place was hers. She had a man and a boy to help with the outdoor work, and a tidy young girl to assist her inside. Nannie, by all accounts, was dangerously close to forty, though she looked a good dozen years younger and even beautiful[Pg 242] for her age—beautiful in the regularity of her features, just enough color, and in her lack of any coarseness. Taking her figure as a whole, you would have said that, if she wasn’t a lady, she was at least meant to adorn a higher status. She had never married, but she didn’t look like an old maid at all. For Nannie had her own little story. And although she was always merry and cheerful during the day, when the day’s work was done, and she had retired to her little room, after reading her chapter and psalm and sitting down to reflect, a strange, sad look would come into her eyes, and sometimes a tear would appear as she took from her pocket a portrait and a lock of dark brown hair. And that portrait, which she gazed at so fondly, although the face was younger, was the miller’s; the lock of hair, tied with blue, seemed to cling gently to poor Nannie’s finger. For the miller and she had loved each other all their lives. Oh! Their story is quite[Pg 243] a common one—a lover’s quarrel, a harsh word, and a silent parting: that was it. The miller had left in a huff and married a woman twice his age. The marriage was as mismatched as snow in summer; but now, even though his wife had long been gone, the miller, knowing he could easily get forgiveness from Nannie, never went to ask for it, feeling he had made too deep a mistake to deserve it. So they lived for years—those two loving hearts—with only the dark pine forest and the wide river between them.

One dark Christmas morning the miller was astir long before his usual time, for there was more to do than he could well manage. There was barley to prepare for Christmas broth, and meal for Christmas brose; so long before the sun had dreamt of getting out of bed, he had hauled up the sluice. The waters rushed headlong on towards the great mill-wheel; the great mill-wheel turned slowly round; and suddenly the old mill, previously as silent and dark as the grave itself, became instinct with life and sound.

One dark Christmas morning, the miller was up long before he usually was because there was more to do than he could handle. He needed to get barley ready for Christmas broth and meal for Christmas porridge; so, long before the sun even thought about getting up, he raised the sluice. The water rushed quickly toward the big mill wheel; the big mill wheel turned slowly; and suddenly, the old mill, which had been as quiet and dark as a grave, came alive with noise and activity.

[Pg 244]It was a good quarter of a mile walk, from the mill-dam sluice to the mill. Hundreds of times he had gone the road before, but on this particular morning, somehow or other, the miller felt peculiarly nervous. It was so dark, and everything was so still, and being Christmas morning, what more likely than that he should see a ghost. He tried to sing, but for once in his life he failed; and he felt quite a sense of relief when the farmer’s cocks awoke, and began hallooing to each other all over the country. So, in no enviable frame of mind, he reached the mill and opened the door. The old dog came to meet him, and he struck a light, and shaking off for a time his superstitious fears, he donned a dusty coat, and set to work in earnest. First there was the corn to spread upon the kiln. That done, he went below to put a match to the kiln-fire which was already laid. In this furnace it was not coals that were burned, nor wood either, but the outside husks of the oats themselves,—what are called in Scotland “shealings.” This made a roaring fire, and was easily lit. All was darkness when the[Pg 245] miller went down, but he soon had both light and heat. Indeed, from the latter he was fain to stand back; and so, leaning on his shovel, as he contemplated his work, with the firelight playing around his handsome face and figure and the darkness behind him, he would have formed no mean study for a painter. But suddenly the spade dropped from his grasp, his face turned pale,—pale as it never would be again until death set his seal on it,—and the perspiration stood in big drops on his brow, while his frightened gaze was riveted on the furnace before him. He had seen a face in the fire, apparently that of a demon—what else could it be?—black and unearthly looking, with white teeth and green glaring eyes; it showed but a moment, and disappeared again in the smoke beneath the kiln. For a few seconds which seemed like ages, he stood there transfixed; then again that awful face in the blaze, and this time a horrid yell which seemed to rend the very mill; and something sprang wildly from the furnace,—sprung at him, over him, through him, somehow or anyhow, the miller could not[Pg 246] tell,—he had tumbled down in a dead faint. Daylight was just coming in when he awoke. The fire was black out, and the mill still grinding away at nothing in particular. Outside, the snow lay on the ground to a depth of several inches; it was no wonder then that the poor miller began to shiver, as soon as he gathered himself up. He shivered,—and when he thought of that terrible apparition, he shuddered as well as shivered.

[Pg 244]It was a good quarter of a mile walk from the mill-dam sluice to the mill. He had walked this path hundreds of times before, but that particular morning, for some reason, the miller felt unusually nervous. It was so dark, and everything was so quiet, and since it was Christmas morning, what were the chances he would see a ghost? He tried to sing, but for once, he couldn't; he felt a sense of relief when the farmer’s roosters started crowing and calling to each other all over the countryside. In no great mood, he arrived at the mill and opened the door. The old dog came to greet him, and he struck a match. Shaking off his superstitious fears for a moment, he put on a dusty coat and got to work. First, he had to spread the corn on the kiln. Once that was done, he went downstairs to light the kiln-fire that was already prepared. In this furnace, it wasn't coals or wood that burned but the outer husks of the oats themselves—what they call “shealings” in Scotland. This created a roaring fire and was easy to ignite. It was completely dark when the[Pg 245] miller went down, but he soon had both light and warmth. In fact, he had to step back from the heat; leaning on his shovel, he contemplated his work, with the firelight dancing around his handsome face and figure against the darkness behind him, making for a striking scene for a painter. But suddenly, the shovel slipped from his hand, his face went pale—paler than it would ever be again until death claimed him—and sweat poured down his forehead as his terrified gaze was locked onto the furnace. He had seen a face in the fire, seemingly that of a demon—what else could it be?—black and unearthly looking, with white teeth and glowing green eyes; it appeared for just a moment and vanished back into the smoke beneath the kiln. For a few seconds, which felt like an eternity, he stood there frozen; then he saw that terrifying face in the flames again, accompanied by a horrific scream that seemed to tear apart the very mill; something leaped wildly from the furnace—leapt at him, over him, through him, somehow, leaving the miller unable to[Pg 246] tell what happened—he collapsed into a dead faint. Daylight was just starting to break when he came to. The fire was completely out, and the mill was still grinding away at nothing in particular. Outside, the snow covered the ground with several inches; it was no wonder the poor miller began to shiver the moment he managed to gather himself up. He shivered—and when he thought of that terrible vision, he not only shuddered but trembled as well.

“An awfu’ visitation,” he muttered to himself,—“a truly awfu’ visitation on a Christmas morning;” and he began to wonder what he had ever done to deserve it. He went over his whole life,—honest man, it had been anything but a chequered or eventful one,—and finally came to the conclusion that it must be a judgment on him for forsaking his early love.

"Such a terrible experience," he muttered to himself, "a really terrible experience on Christmas morning;" and he started to think about what he had done to deserve it. He reflected on his entire life—an honest man, it hadn't been particularly varied or eventful—and eventually concluded that it must be a punishment for abandoning his first love.

“Poor lonely Nannie!” he sighed, as he dragged himself wearily away to begin his work.

“Poor lonely Nannie!” he sighed, as he wearily walked away to start his work.

The miller was a steady, sober man, but he did feel glad when visitors began to arrive at the mill, and being Christmas morning, bring[Pg 247] a bottle with them. But he could not find exhilaration in the whisky,—no, nor consolation either. He simply could not get warm, only his face seemed to glow; and there was a weight at his heart, as if he had swallowed one of his own millstones. When at last the day wore over, and he found himself at home, he thought he had never felt so tired in his life before. His decent old body of a housekeeper marked how ill he looked, and insisted on putting him to bed at once, with a bottle of hot water, an extra blanket, and a basin of gruel.

The miller was a reliable, serious man, but he felt happy when visitors started arriving at the mill on Christmas morning, bringing a bottle with them. However, he couldn't find any joy in the whiskey—nor any comfort, either. He just couldn't seem to get warm; only his face appeared to shine, and there was a heaviness in his heart, as if he had swallowed one of his own millstones. When the day finally came to an end and he was home, he thought he had never felt so exhausted in his life. His kind old housekeeper noticed how poorly he looked and insisted on putting him to bed right away, with a hot water bottle, an extra blanket, and a bowl of gruel.

Next day the miller was in a raging fever, and for many weeks he seemed only hovering between life and death. Mrs. Fowler, as his housekeeper was called, could not have been more kind to him if he had been her own son. But one day she said to herself, as she looked upon his poor worn face, “I see I canna cure him, and the man will die if assistance doesna come soon. I’ll try it,—I’ll try it.”

The next day, the miller had a high fever, and for many weeks it seemed like he was stuck between life and death. Mrs. Fowler, his housekeeper, couldn’t have been more caring if he were her own son. But one day, as she looked at his poor, tired face, she thought, “I see I can’t cure him, and he’ll die if help doesn’t arrive soon. I’ll give it a try—I’ll give it a try.”

What the trying it had reference to we shall soon see. Mrs. Fowler put on her[Pg 248] Sunday’s gown and bonnet, put on her scarlet shawl and her sable boa, and telling the miller she would soon return, went out into the keen January air, and took her way to the bridge that spanned the rapid Don. For the good lady was far too old to try the ford, or climb the rocks, or trust herself in the dark little footpath, that led through the forest to Nannie’s house. She arrived there in good time for all that.

What this was all about will soon become clear. Mrs. Fowler put on her[Pg 248] Sunday dress and hat, draped her scarlet shawl and sable boa around her shoulders, and told the miller she would be back soon before stepping out into the biting January air. She headed towards the bridge that crossed the rushing Don. The good lady was far too old to attempt the ford, scale the rocks, or navigate the dark little path that wound through the forest to Nannie’s house. Nevertheless, she arrived there in good time.

Nannie was spinning, but strange to say, she was always glad to see Mrs. Fowler. So she put aside the reel and bustled about to get tea ready.

Nannie was spinning, but strangely enough, she was always happy to see Mrs. Fowler. So she set aside the reel and hurried around to prepare tea.

“And is he getting any better?” asked Nannie at length, referring to the miller. The question was asked in seemingly a half-careless tone, but none knew but herself, how her heart was beating all the while.

“And is he getting any better?” Nannie asked after a while, talking about the miller. She tried to sound casual, but no one but her knew how fast her heart was racing the whole time.

“Na, na, poor man,” said Janet, for that was her maiden name, “he is no long for this world.”

“Aw, poor guy,” said Janet, since that was her maiden name, “he won’t be around much longer.”

Nannie had turned away her head, and buried her face in her hands. Presently she was sobbing like a child. Janet spoke not.

Nannie had turned her head away and buried her face in her hands. Soon, she was crying like a child. Janet said nothing.

[Pg 249]“Oh,” cried poor Nannie, “I must, I shall see him before he dies.”

[Pg 249]“Oh,” cried poor Nannie, “I have to, I will see him before he dies.”

Then Janet spoke.

Then Janet said.

“And God in heaven bless you, my bonnie bairn, for those words; for you’re the only one in this weary world that can save his life.”

“And God in heaven bless you, my beautiful child, for those words; because you’re the only one in this tired world who can save his life.”

“No,—but,” said Nannie, “if he really is going to live, you know,—I—a—”

“No,—but,” Nannie said, “if he’s really going to live, you know,—I—I—”

Oh the inconsistency of women! A moment before, and she would have given all she possessed in the world for one glance of the loved face; now, because he was going to live,—oh, dear!

Oh, the unpredictability of women! Just a moment ago, she would have given everything she owned for one look at the face she loved; now, because he's going to survive—oh, dear!

But Janet hastened to tell her all the story,—how in his wild delirium he had spoke of no one, raved of no one, save her; and now that the fever had subsided and left him weak as a baby, how he always led the subject on to Nannie, his early love, their rambles in the pine-forest, and his cruel desertion of her, and how he always wound up with the melancholy reflection, that he knew poor Nannie would forgive him when she saw him being carried to his “lang hame.”

But Janet quickly shared the whole story with her—how in his wild delirium, he only talked about her; and now that the fever had eased and left him as weak as a baby, he always brought the conversation back to Nannie, his first love, their walks in the pine forest, and his painful abandonment of her. He always ended with a sad thought, knowing that poor Nannie would forgive him when she saw him being taken to his “long home.”

[Pg 250]And so well did Janet represent the whole matter and argue her case, that Nannie gave her consent to go along with her even then. And she laughed and cried at the same time, in quite a hysterical way, as she said,—

[Pg 250]Janet presented her case so effectively that Nannie agreed to support her right then and there. She laughed and cried at the same time, in a rather hysterical way, as she said,—

“Well, Mistress Fowler,—he! he! he!—you know best and—he! he!—if you really think it will do the poor man good, I’ll go; and—but—oh! Mistress Fowler, I must have a cry.”

“Well, Mistress Fowler,—ha! ha! ha!—you know best and—ha! ha!—if you really think it will help the poor man, I’ll go; and—but—oh! Mistress Fowler, I must have a cry.”

And she did.

And she did.

And it really seemed to do her good; for she smiled quite calm and happy-like afterwards—the heightened flush in her cheeks making her look ten times prettier; and she was soon dressed and ready to march.

And it really seemed to do her good; because she smiled quite calmly and happily afterward—the increased color in her cheeks making her look ten times prettier; and she was soon dressed and ready to go.

Just as she was going out, however, her countenance fell, and,—

Just as she was about to leave, though, her expression changed, and—

“Oh! Mistress Fowler, my poor cat,” cried Nannie.

“Oh! Ms. Fowler, my poor cat,” cried Nannie.

“Your cat?” said Janet.

"Your cat?" Janet asked.

“Aye, woman, my cat,” replied Nannie; “come and see the poor darling. Somehow or other it got dreadfully burnt, about three weeks ago, and it isn’t better yet; come and see.”

“Aye, woman, my cat,” replied Nannie; “come and see the poor darling. Somehow or other it got really burnt about three weeks ago, and it’s not better yet; come and see.”

[Pg 251]“That a cat!” said Janet with uplifted hands and eyes; “dearie me! dearie me!”

[Pg 251]“What a cat!” Janet exclaimed, raising her hands and eyes; “oh my! oh my!”

In good sooth it might have been taken for a kangaroo, or anything else you liked. There wasn’t a hair on its whole body; and although the wounds and scars were healed, it was still in a state of prostration and debility. It purred kindly, however, when its mistress gently stroked it, showing how fully it appreciated her kindness. * * *

Honestly, it could have easily been mistaken for a kangaroo, or whatever else you wanted. It didn't have a single hair on its body; and even though the wounds and scars were healed, it was still very weak and exhausted. It purred softly, though, when its owner gently stroked it, showing just how much it appreciated her kindness. * * *

“You’ll even take the poor thing wi’ you, Nannie,” said old Janet.

“You'll even take the poor thing with you, Nannie,” said old Janet.

“Three whole hours,” said the miller to himself as he lay in bed and looked up at the old-fashioned eight-day clock, whose melancholy ticking had been his only solace since Janet left,—“three whole hours, and she promised she would be back in one.” Presently big flakes of snow began to fall slowly ground-wards, and the poor man’s spirits seemed to fall along with them. It was so gloomy being all alone in the still house; the very fire had forsaken him; and he shivered as he gazed out into the fast closing winter’s day. He remembered how different had been[Pg 252] his feelings one evening, long, long ago, when he had stood with her by his side, looking upwards through the maze of snow-flakes,—how they had crept closer together from the cold, and sworn to be for ever near each other. Ah, that lost love! He was sure he was dying, even now; and how dreadful he thought it was to die all alone. He wondered if she would feel sorry, when she heard of his death. And then he slept—a nasty fitful starting sleep, with painful racking dreams; now he was climbing interminable precipices, every moment ready to fall; now he was walking over long trackless moors that would never, never have an end; and now he was toiling at the mill with wheels, wheels all around him, and horrid shapes with brown skinny arms, that tried to clutch and pull him down among the dark grinding machinery; then he screamed, or tried to scream, and at once his dream took another form. He seemed to be lying in his own room, and could hear the ticking of the old clock; but it was no longer dark and dismal, the blinds were drawn, the lamp was lit, a[Pg 253] cheerful fire burned on the clean-swept hearth, and the kettle sang on the hob, and—ah, blissful vision! there, beside the bed, sat Nannie,—his Nannie, as he had seen her years and years ago; a bright blush was on her cheek, and her bonnie eyes were bent on his face with so sad a look. The miller held his breath, lest the vision should vanish into darkness.

“Three whole hours,” the miller thought to himself as he lay in bed and stared up at the old eight-day clock, whose lonely ticking had been his only comfort since Janet left, “three whole hours, and she promised she would be back in one.” Soon, big snowflakes began to fall softly down, and the man’s spirits seemed to sink along with them. It felt so gloomy to be all alone in the quiet house; even the fire had abandoned him, and he shivered as he looked out into the quickly fading winter day. He remembered how different he felt one evening, long ago, when he stood with her by his side, looking up through the flurry of snowflakes—how they had huddled closer together against the cold, vowing to always stay near each other. Ah, that lost love! He felt certain he was dying, even now; and how dreadful it seemed to die all alone. He wondered if she would feel sad when she heard of his death. Then he fell asleep—an uneasy, restless sleep filled with painful, tormenting dreams; now he was climbing endless cliffs, always on the verge of falling; now he was wandering across vast, empty moors that seemed to stretch on forever; and now he was working at the mill, surrounded by wheels, wheels everywhere, and terrifying figures with thin, brown arms trying to grab him and pull him down into the dark, grinding machinery; then he screamed, or tried to scream, and suddenly his dream changed. He thought he was lying in his own room and could hear the old clock ticking; but it was no longer dark and dreary, the blinds were drawn, the lamp was lit, a cheerful fire crackled on the clean hearth, and the kettle was singing on the stove, and—oh, joyful vision! there, beside the bed, sat Nannie—his Nannie, just as he had seen her years ago; a bright blush on her cheek, and her lovely eyes fixed on his face with such a sad expression. The miller held his breath, afraid the vision would fade back into darkness.

“Oh! oh!” cried poor Nannie, “he doesn’t know me, he doesn’t know me;” and she hid her face on his breast and sobbed aloud. Now he knew it was no dream. He stretched out his arms, but it had all come so suddenly, everything seemed to swim before his eyes, and his head sank like lead on the pillow. He had fainted.

“Oh! oh!” cried poor Nannie, “he doesn’t recognize me, he doesn’t recognize me;” and she buried her face on his chest and sobbed loudly. Now he realized it wasn’t a dream. He reached out his arms, but everything had happened so quickly that everything seemed to blur before his eyes, and his head dropped like a weight on the pillow. He had passed out.

When he opened his eyes again, it was only to meet once more Nannie’s loving anxious gaze; he could only smile as he pressed her hand, and fell into a sleep, sweeter than he had slept since childhood.

When he opened his eyes again, it was only to see Nannie’s loving, worried gaze; he could only smile as he held her hand and drifted into a sleep sweeter than he had experienced since childhood.

Well may the poet call sleep “Nature’s sweet restorer.” But there is something more important than even sleep itself, and[Pg 254] without which, refreshing sleep can never come—happiness and contentment. Psychics, or mental treatment, is not now overlooked by medical men as it used to be; and if ever the philosopher’s stone, or the secret of making men immortal, be found, it will be through this science.

Well may the poet call sleep “Nature’s sweet restorer.” But there’s something more important than sleep itself, and[Pg 254] without which refreshing sleep can never come—happiness and contentment. Mental health treatment is no longer overlooked by medical professionals as it used to be; and if the philosopher’s stone, or the secret to making people immortal, is ever found, it will be through this science.

It was far into the middle of next day, before the miller awoke. He felt a sensation of happiness at his heart even before he opened his eyes, or remembered the cause. The cause indeed was just then busy getting ready his breakfast. It was a clear frosty day outside, with the sky ever so bright and blue, and the whole landscape white with dry powdery snow; and inside everything was as neat as new pins. How pretty and home-like Nannie looked, bustling about with her peachy cheeks and her nut-brown hair. It was quite refreshing to look at her,—at least so the miller thought; and he gave a big double-shuffle sigh, like what a child does when it is just finishing a good cry.

It was well into the next day before the miller woke up. He felt a sense of happiness in his heart even before he opened his eyes or remembered why. The reason was busy preparing his breakfast. It was a bright, frosty day outside, with a clear blue sky, and the entire landscape was covered in dry, powdery snow. Inside, everything was as tidy as could be. Nannie looked so pretty and homely, bustling around with her rosy cheeks and dark brown hair. It was refreshing to watch her—at least that’s how the miller felt—and he let out a big sigh, like a child does when it’s just finishing a good cry.

“Oh! you’re awake, are you?” said Nannie, going to the bedside, and taking his hot hand between her cold little palms.

“Oh! You’re awake, huh?” said Nannie, moving to the bedside and taking his warm hand in her cool little hands.

[Pg 255]“I’ve been keeking at you from under the coverlit for mair than an hour,” said the miller, honestly.

[Pg 255]“I’ve been watching you from under the covers for more than an hour,” said the miller, honestly.

“And what made ye come, Nannie?”

“And what made you come, Nannie?”

“I heard you were dying, John.”

“I heard you were dying, John.”

“Oh! bless you, bless you, poor lassie; it is mair than kind,—it’s what only an angel would do. But if ye knew what I’ve suffered a’ these lang lang years,—”

“Oh! Bless you, bless you, poor girl; it’s more than kind—it’s something only an angel would do. But if you knew what I’ve suffered all these long, long years—”

“I do know, John; Janet has told me everything.”

“I know, John; Janet has told me everything.”

“And bye-gones are bye-gones; and I’m forgiven?”

“And the past is the past; am I forgiven?”

“Bye-gones are bye-gones, John; and you’re forgiven.”

"What's done is done, John; and you're forgiven."

“Nannie,” said the miller, emphatically, “that wee deevilock (imp) that lap oot at me through the kiln-fire was a saint, I’ll be sworn.”

“Nannie,” said the miller, emphatically, “that little imp that jumped out at me through the kiln-fire was a saint, I swear.”

“It’s here,” said Nannie.

“It’s here,” said Grandma.

“Eh?” said John, somewhat nervously.

"Eh?" John said, a bit nervously.

“Here,” continued Nannie; and she held up the cat which had been sleeping cosily at the miller’s feet all the night.

“Here,” continued Nannie; and she held up the cat that had been snoozing comfortably at the miller’s feet all night.

“Dear me! dear me!” said the invalid.[Pg 256] “Well, well; and the deevilock was a cat—your cat—after all. Well, Nannie, it’s no bonnie; but, Lord bless it, give me it, till I take it into my bosom.”

“Goodness gracious!” said the ill person.[Pg 256] “Well, well; and the devil’s lock was a cat—your cat—after all. Well, Nannie, it’s not pretty; but, bless it, give it to me, so I can hold it close.”

Pussy, purring, was duly deposited under the bed-clothes; and then Nannie enjoined her patient not to talk any more. “But,” she added, “you do feel better; don’t you?”

Pussy, purring, was carefully placed under the blankets; and then Nannie told her patient to stop talking. “But,” she added, “you do feel better, right?”

“Better! Nannie,” quo’ John; “if I had any mortal thing on besides my sark, I would rise this vera minute, and dance the reel o’ Bogie.”

“Better! Nannie,” said John; “if I had anything else on besides my shirt, I would get up this very minute and dance the reel of Bogie.”

It was a treat to John to see Nannie infusing the tea in Janet’s best brown-stone,—it was a treat to see her kneeling there, making the toast and then putting on the butter, and crushing the hard edges with the knife, and seaming it across and across, that the butter might find its way to the interior; and it was a treat to see the way she placed the little table at his pillow-side, and spread a clean white towel over the tray, that held the plates for the toast, and the pot with the fragrant tea. But when she placed her own cup on the same tray, and sat[Pg 257] down beside him, John was indeed a happy man; and scarcely a mouthful could he swallow for looking at her, although she had cut the tender juicy steak into the most tempting tiny morsels that ever were seen.

It was a pleasure for John to see Nannie brewing the tea in Janet’s best brownstone—it was a joy to watch her kneeling there, making the toast, spreading on the butter, and trimming the hard edges with the knife, making sure the butter reached the middle; and it was delightful to see how she set the little table beside his pillow and laid a clean white towel over the tray that held the plates for the toast and the pot of fragrant tea. But when she put her own cup on the same tray and sat down beside him, John was truly happy; he could barely take a bite for admiring her, even though she had cut the tender juicy steak into the most tempting tiny pieces he had ever seen.

Now although the miller began to revive, from the very day that Nannie first became his gentle nurse, still he had a hard tussle for his life; and the winter’s snow had melted, the ploughed fields—dotted here and there with sacks of golden grain—were changing from black to brown in the spring sunshine, ere, leaning on Nannie’s arm, he could take even a short walk. It was wonderful, though, the amount of good even that first little outing did him. It seemed to put new life into his veins, to see the buds coming out on the trees, the grass turning green, and the sturdy farmers busy scattering the corn, with the reverend-looking rooks in swallowtail coats, religiously following at their heels. Oh! bless you, it was the worms, not the grain, they were gobbling up. To the upper moorland the peewits had returned, and the curlew was mingling his shrill scream with[Pg 258] their laughing voices; and of course there was the lark up yonder in heaven’s blue, all a-quiver with song, and ever and anon cocking his head, and giving another look down, to see if that hussy of a hen of his—who couldn’t sing a stave to save her life—was duly appreciating his efforts to amuse her. Well, then, if I tell you that the soft spring-wind was blowing balmily from the south-west,—as properly educated spring-winds always ought to, and do blow,—you will not marvel that, when the miller at last sought the house, there was a brighter look in his eye, and that the roses of returning health had already begun to bud on his cheeks. Old Janet met him in the door, and noted this.

Now, although the miller started to recover from the day Nannie first became his kind nurse, he still faced a tough battle for his life. The winter snow had melted, and the plowed fields—scattered with sacks of golden grain—were shifting from black to brown under the spring sun by the time he was able to take a brief walk leaning on Nannie’s arm. It was amazing how much good even that first little outing did for him. It seemed to give him new energy to see the buds blooming on the trees, the grass turning green, and the hardworking farmers scattering corn, with the serious-looking rooks in their black coats dutifully following behind. Oh! bless you, they were actually gobbling up the worms, not the grain. The peewits had returned to the higher moorland, and the curlew was mixing his sharp cry with their cheerful sounds; and of course, there was the lark high up in the blue sky, bursting with song and every now and then tilting his head to check if that hen of his—who couldn’t sing a note to save her life—was appreciating his efforts to entertain her. Well, if I tell you that a gentle spring breeze was blowing sweetly from the southwest—as well-educated spring breezes always should—you won’t be surprised that when the miller finally made his way back to the house, there was a brighter look in his eye and the rosy glow of recovery beginning to show on his cheeks. Old Janet saw him at the door and noticed this.

“Ay, my lad,” she said, with a cheery nod, “you’ll live yet awhile.”

“Yeah, buddy,” she said with a cheerful nod, “you’ll be around for a while longer.”

That same evening Janet beckoned Nannie into her own room, and having closed the door,—

That same evening, Janet motioned for Nannie to come into her room, and after closing the door, —

“Now,” she said, “my dear lassie, I’m just going to tell you, you’ve done your duty like a Christian. Wi’ the blessing of God ye hae saved John’s life.”

“Now,” she said, “my dear girl, I’m just going to tell you, you’ve done your duty like a good person. With God’s blessing, you have saved John’s life.”

[Pg 259]“You think he is really out of danger, then?” asked Nannie, anxiously.

[Pg 259]“So you really think he’s out of danger now?” Nannie asked, worriedly.

“He’ll be in danger lang eno’, if you bide ony mair wi’ him,” answered Janet, with Scottish bluntness.

“He’ll be in danger soon enough if you stay any longer with him,” answered Janet, with Scottish straightforwardness.

“Ye’ll even gang home the morn, my lass, and I’ll make John himsel’ come over and thank you for a’ you’ve done for him, as soon as he can walk as far; and mark my words, he won’t let that be lang.”

“You’ll even go home tomorrow, my girl, and I’ll have John himself come over and thank you for everything you’ve done for him, as soon as he can walk that far; and mark my words, he won’t take long to do it.”

So next morning Nannie took her departure, back to her little farm in the pine forest. But pussy had no such intention. She had quite recovered the effects of her late incineration; and had got a complete new coat of the silkiest fur. Besides, she had taken quite a fancy to the miller,—for here again cats are like women: allow them to nurse and attend you when ill, and they are sure to love you. There were water-rats to catch in the dam, mice in the mill, and plenty of trout in the mill-lead, and this cat was madly fond of sport,—so she stayed.

So the next morning, Nannie left to return to her small farm in the pine forest. But the cat had no plans to follow her. She had fully recovered from her recent ordeal and had a shiny new coat of the softest fur. Plus, she had really taken a liking to the miller—just like women, cats tend to fall in love if you let them take care of you when you're sick. There were water rats to catch in the pond, mice in the mill, and plenty of trout in the stream, and this cat was crazy about hunting—so she decided to stay.

Nannie was right about the miller’s recovery. Every day he extended his walk a[Pg 260] little farther, and by-and-by was quite able to superintend matters at the mill.

Nannie was right about the miller's recovery. Every day he extended his walk a[Pg 260] little farther, and eventually was completely able to oversee things at the mill.

Well, one fine morning, when the country-side was busy laying down the turnips, John, dressed in his best, with a smart cane in his hand,—for the day was to be big with his fate,—took the road and shaped his course for Nannie’s farm. Mind you, all the time that Nannie was nursing him, John never breathed a word of his love for her or his hopes for the future,—he was much too honourable to take so unfair an advantage.

Well, one bright morning, when the countryside was busy planting turnips, John, dressed in his best and holding a stylish cane—because today was going to be significant for him—set off towards Nannie’s farm. Keep in mind, while Nannie was taking care of him, John never said a word about his love for her or his hopes for the future—he was much too honorable to take such an unfair advantage.

Nannie was busy in her little garden; and either the pleasure of meeting the miller, or the excitement of labour had flushed her cheeks, and made her look very pretty indeed.

Nannie was busy in her little garden; and either the joy of encountering the miller or the thrill of working had colored her cheeks, making her look really pretty.

“I just came over to help you with the garden a bit,” said John,—the hypocrite! “for thanks to you, Nannie, I’m just as strong as a young colt.”

“I just came over to help you with the garden a bit,” said John—the hypocrite! “Thanks to you, Nannie, I feel as strong as a young colt.”

So they worked in the garden most industriously all day, just like a second edition of Adam and Eve; and at sunset Nannie set out to convoy the miller through the pine wood. Now, although they had both been[Pg 261] chattering all day like a couple of magpies, neither now had a word to say. Nevertheless they took the path as if by instinct, that led down into the hazel-copse that overlooked the wimpling Don. There were yellow primroses growing here, and wild sorrel, and a mossy bank; and on this our lovers sat.

So they worked in the garden busily all day, just like a modern-day Adam and Eve; and at sunset, Nannie set out to lead the miller through the pine woods. Now, even though they had been[Pg 261] chatting all day like a couple of magpies, neither of them had a word to say now. Still, they instinctively took the path that led down into the hazel grove overlooking the flowing Don. There were yellow primroses growing here, along with wild sorrel, and a mossy bank; and on this, our lovers sat.

“Ah!” said John, “it does seem strange, but this is the very spot where we parted years ago,—and in anger, dear lassie.”

“Ah!” said John, “it does seem strange, but this is exactly where we parted years ago—and in anger, dear girl.”

Nannie was silent.

Nannie didn’t say anything.

“You’ll marry me now; won’t you?” continued John.

“You’ll marry me now, right?” insisted John.

A soft warm hand placed in his, was the reply; a wee mouth held up to kiss, and a face all wet with tears. What little fools women are, to be sure!

A soft, warm hand in his was the response; a tiny mouth lifted for a kiss, and a face all wet with tears. What little fools women can be, for sure!

In the first harvest-moon the miller and she were married. There was a wedding-breakfast, a wedding-dinner, ay, and a wedding-ball. To this latter came all the flower of the country; it was held in the old mill, and began as early as six in the evening. Never before in the country-side had such a rant been seen or heard tell of. There[Pg 262] were three small fiddles and a blind bass, besides a clarionet and a squinting fifer;—what do you think of that for music? And there were four-and-twenty “sweetie wives”[7] round the door, with baskets full to the brim; and they were all sold out before morning,—think of that. Now the English reader has little notion how important a personage a “sweetie-wife” is at a country ball. The “sweeties” are made up in little ornamented sixpenny bags, and to these a young man treats his partner after a dance; so you may tell how any girl is appreciated by the number of bags of sweeties in her possession. Highest of all is the belle of the ball herself,—a lovely and stately girl, who will only dance with men with beards, and who has so many bags that her pockets will hold no more; so she keeps dealing them out with a queenly hand, to her plainer and less fair friends. Then there are stars of lesser magnitude, with enough but none to spare; and minor constellations, with perhaps a dozen bags; and there are ten-bag beauties, and seven-bag[Pg 263] beauties, and five-bag beauties, three-bag beauties, and beauties with never a bag at all, who have only been thought worthy of getting their sweeties in loose handfuls.

In the first harvest moon, the miller and she got married. There was a wedding breakfast, a wedding dinner, and even a wedding ball. Everyone from the area came to the ball; it was held in the old mill and started as early as six in the evening. Never before had such a wild party been seen or heard of in the countryside. There were three small fiddles and a blind bass, along with a clarinet and a crooked flute—what do you think of that for music? And there were twenty-four “sweetie wives” around the door, with baskets full to the brim; and they were all sold out before morning—just think about that. Now, English readers have little idea of how important a “sweetie wife” is at a country ball. The “sweeties” come in little decorated sixpenny bags, and a young man treats his partner after a dance with them; so you can tell how much any girl is appreciated by the number of sweetie bags she has. At the top is the belle of the ball herself—a lovely and elegant girl, who will only dance with men who have beards and has so many bags that her pockets can't hold any more; so she keeps handing them out with a queenly grace to her plainer and less attractive friends. Then there are stars of lesser fame, with enough but not much to spare; and smaller groups with maybe a dozen bags; and there are ten-bag beauties, seven-bag beauties, five-bag beauties, three-bag beauties, and beauties with not a single bag at all who are only deemed worthy of getting their sweets in loose handfuls.

Ay, that was a ball. The miller had given orders that the lads and lasses should “dance the day-light in,” and that not even a “sweetie-wife” should go home sober. Then, hey! how the fiddlers played! Hey! how the dancers danced! and hey! how the sweeties flew!

Ay, that was a blast. The miller had instructed that the guys and girls should “dance until dawn,” and that not even a “sweetheart” should head home sober. Then, wow! how the fiddlers played! Wow! how the dancers danced! and wow! how the treats flew!

And when, during a lull, the miller himself and his pretty wife came in to dance one reel, just for fashion sake,—oh, dear! wasn’t the floor quickly filled? The fiddlers played as they hadn’t played yet; and the way the old blind bass screwed his mouth, and turned up the whites of his eyes was a caution to see. The tune was that rattling old Scotch strathspey, “The Miller of Drone”; and you should just have heard the cracking of thumbs and the hooch-!-ing,—if you had had a single drop of Scottish blood, twelve generations removed, you would have been on your pins at once. But when they came to the reel, the[Pg 264] hoochs! were fired off like pistol shots, till they ended in one jubilant hurrah!! and the rafters rang as the music stopped. Then steaming whiskey punch was handed round in bumpers from buckets, and all drank the miller’s health, and the miller’s wife’s health, and long life and happiness, and three times three, with Highland honours. Then the miller and his bride drove off,—in a real carriage and pair, mind you; with wedding-favours on the horses’ heads, and tassels at their ears, oh! none of your half-and-half affairs; and eight-and-forty old shoes from four-and-twenty old sweetie wives, came whistling after them, as they rattled round the corner and were lost to view.

And when, during a break, the miller and his beautiful wife came in to dance a reel, just for the sake of tradition—oh, wow! the floor filled up fast! The fiddlers played like never before; and the way the old blind bass guy squeezed his mouth and rolled his eyes was something to see. The tune was that lively old Scottish strathspey, “The Miller of Drone,” and you should have heard the sound of thumbs cracking and the hooch-ing—if you had even a drop of Scottish blood, twelve generations back, you would have been on your feet immediately. But when they got to the reel, the hooches were fired off like gunshots, ending in one joyful cheer!! and the rafters shook as the music stopped. Then steaming whiskey punch was passed around in big cups from buckets, and everyone toasted the miller’s health, the miller’s wife’s health, wishing them long life and happiness, with three cheers and Highland honors. Then the miller and his bride drove off—in a real carriage and pair, mind you; with wedding decorations on the horses’ heads, and tassels at their ears, no cheap stuff here; and forty-eight old shoes from twenty-four old ladies came flying after them as they turned the corner and disappeared from sight.

I am in a position to state, that John and his Nannie spent a most happy honeymoon in the Highlands of their native land, in that most pleasant of all seasons when the bloom still lingers on the heather and the autumn tints are on the trees.

I can say that John and his Nannie had a really happy honeymoon in the Highlands of their homeland, during that lovely time of year when the heather is still in bloom and the trees are showing autumn colors.

Years have fled since then, but the old mill-wheel goes merrily round as in the days of yore; and Nannie and John are still alive, and[Pg 265] likely to live for many a long year. And when the miller returns from his labour of an evening to his home in the pine-wood, there are a clean fireside and a singing kettle to welcome him; and better still, a little curly-haired boy with his mother’s eyes, and a wee baby-girl with its father’s dimples and its mother’s smile. Pussy is getting old, but in the long fore-nights of winter she loves to play with the little ones on the rug, or lull them to sleep with her drowsy purr; but, when “summer days are fine,” she will follow them far a-field, and the children gather gowans on the leas and string them into garlands to hang around her neck; and at sundown, pussy, they think, must be very tired; the good-natured cat humours the bairnies’ fancy, and pretends to be nothing short of dead-beat, and so they carry pussy home.

Years have passed since then, but the old mill wheel still turns happily like it did back in the day; and Nannie and John are still around, likely to live for many more years. When the miller comes home from work in the evening to his place in the pine woods, he finds a cozy fireside and a whistling kettle waiting for him; even better, there's a little curly-haired boy with his mother's eyes and a tiny baby girl with her father's dimples and her mother's smile. Pussy is getting older, but during the long winter nights, she loves to play with the little ones on the rug or lull them to sleep with her soothing purr. But when “summer days are nice,” she’ll follow them far and wide, and the children will pick flowers in the fields and string them into garlands to hang around her neck. At sunset, they think poor pussy must be very tired, so the good-natured cat plays along with the kids’ imagination and pretends to be utterly exhausted, and they carry her home.

 

 


ADDENDA.

 

Note A.

Note A.

I deem it fair both to myself and to the reader, to supplement my own evidence on the “Curiosities of Cat Life,” by giving the names and addresses of my authorities for those of my anecdotes, which may seem to run contrary to the generally received opinions, concerning cats; at the same time thanking those ladies and gentlemen, who have taken so much interest in the progress of this work, and expressed themselves willing to vouch for the truth of the incidents herein related by me. I have tried to make the anecdotes as readable as possible, and as humorous, as I know many people think “cats” a dry subject; but in no single instance have the interests of truth been disregarded. My anecdotes are what might be called sample anecdotes, as I have many hundreds more of the same sort, my object being to describe pussy as she really is, and thus, to gain favour for an animal hitherto understood only by the few, and abused by the many. And, nothing would give me greater pain, than the reader to have an idea, that my cats are exceptional cats; for, I distinctly aver, that no cat mentioned in this book, has either done or suffered anything, which any other cat in the kingdom cannot do or suffer.

I think it’s fair to both myself and the reader to back up my insights on the “Curiosities of Cat Life” by providing the names and addresses of my sources for the anecdotes that might seem to go against the commonly accepted beliefs about cats. At the same time, I want to thank the ladies and gentlemen who have shown great interest in the progress of this work and have been willing to confirm the truth of the stories I’ve shared. I’ve tried to make the anecdotes as entertaining and enjoyable as possible, knowing that many people consider “cats” to be a dull topic; but in no case have I compromised the truth. My anecdotes are just a sample, as I have many hundreds more like them, with the aim of portraying cats as they truly are, and gaining appreciation for an animal that has only been understood by a few and mistreated by many. Nothing would pain me more than for the reader to think that my cats are unusual; because I firmly assert that no cat mentioned in this book has done or experienced anything that any other cat in the kingdom cannot do or experience.

INDEX OF NAMES AND ADDRESSES.

NAMES AND ADDRESSES INDEX.

Anderson, Alex., Mr., New Fowlis, Crieff, N.B.

Anderson, Alex., Mr., New Fowlis, Crieff, N.B.

Anderson, Jane, Miss, Old Meldrum, Aberdeenshire.

Anderson, Jane, Miss, Old Meldrum, Aberdeenshire.

Bird, Miss, Snowdon Place, Stirling.

Bird, Ms., Snowdon Place, Stirling.

Bonnar, T., Mr., Largoward, St. Andrews.

Bonnar, T., Mr., Largoward, St. Andrews.

Budge, W., Mr., 113, Montrose Street, Brechin.

Budge, W., Mr., 113 Montrose Street, Brechin.

Burns, D., Mr., 19, Murray Road East, Finsbury Park, London.

Burns, D., Mr., 19, Murray Road East, Finsbury Park, London.

Catto, W. D., Ed. of “People’s Journal,” Dundee.

Catto, W. D., Editor of “People’s Journal,” Dundee.

Church, W., Mrs., 5, Regent’s Park, Heavitree, Essex.

Church, W., Mrs., 5, Regent’s Park, Heavitree, Essex.

Cockerell, Misses, 41, Warwick Street, London.

Cockerell, Misses, 41 Warwick Street, London.

Crerar, Peter, Mr., Buchan’s Buildings, Burrell Street, Crief, N.B.

Crerar, Peter, Mr., Buchan’s Buildings, Burrell Street, Crief, N.B.

Cresswell, Frances, Miss, Early Wood, Bagshot, Surrey.

Cresswell, Frances, Miss, Early Wood, Bagshot, Surrey.

Catto, Edward, Mr., 17, Mortimer Street, Dundee.

Catto, Edward, Mr., 17 Mortimer Street, Dundee.

Davis, Mr., Aberdare, South Wales.

Mr. Davis, Aberdare, South Wales.

Donald, John, Mr., 54, Plantation Street, Glasgow.

Donald, John, Mr., 54 Plantation Street, Glasgow.

Dorwood, David, Mr., Kinettles, Forfarshire.

Dorwood, David, Mr., Kinettles, Forfarshire.

Douglas, T. S., Mr., Park Street, Aberdeen.

Douglas, T. S., Mr., Park Street, Aberdeen.

Durno, Isa, Miss, Floors, Auchterless, N.B.

Durno, Isa, Miss, Floors, Auchterless, N.B.

Ford, R., Mr., 32, Princess Street, Dundee.

Ford, R., Mr., 32 Princess Street, Dundee.

Forshall, F. M., Miss, 14, Park Place, Clarence Gate, London.

Forshall, F. M., Miss, 14 Park Place, Clarence Gate, London.

Gerrard, Samuel, Mr., New Aberdour, Fraserburgh, N.B.

Gerrard, Samuel, Mr., New Aberdour, Fraserburgh, N.B.

Gillespie, James, Mr., Ardean, by Dollar, N.B.

Gillespie, James, Mr., Ardean, by Dollar, N.B.

Geekie, G., Mr., 18, Mitchell Square, Blairgowrie, Perth.

Geekie, G., Mr., 18, Mitchell Square, Blairgowrie, Perth.

Gordon, Miss, Camden House, Aberdeen.

Gordon, Miss, Camden House, Aberdeen.

Gordon, Mrs., 41, Grieve Street, Dunfermline, N.B.

Gordon, Mrs., 41 Grieve Street, Dunfermline, Scotland.

Grant, Archibald, Mr., New Dupplis, Elgin.

Grant, Archibald, Mr., New Dupplis, Elgin.

Gray, T., Mr., Park Street, Galashiels.

Gray, T., Mr., Park Street, Galashiels.

Grey, P., Mr., Durris, by Aberdeen.

Grey, P., Mr., Durris, near Aberdeen.

Hutcheson, James, Mr., 22, Temple Lane, Dundee.

Hutcheson, James, Mr., 22 Temple Lane, Dundee.

Howie, David, Mr., Inverleithen, Peebleshire.

Howie, David, Mr., Innerleithen, Peebleshire.

Leitch, David, 31, Bonnygate, Cupar Fife, N.B.

Leitch, David, 31 Bonnygate, Cupar Fife, N.B.

Lynch, Miss, Arduthie, Stonehaven, N.B.

Lynch, Miss, Arduthie, Stonehaven, NB.

Mackie, A., Mr., 12, Lower James Street, Sheerness.

Mackie, A., Mr., 12 Lower James Street, Sheerness.

Macdonald, Mrs., Post Office, Lasswade, N.B.

Macdonald, Mrs., Post Office, Lasswade, N.B.

McCorkle, R., Miss, Newhouse, Stirling.

McCorkle, R., Miss, Newhouse, Stirling.

McLean, John, Mr., Orbliston, Fochabers, N.B.

McLean, John, Mr., Orbliston, Fochabers, N.B.

McKenzie, Mrs., Dornoch, N.B.

Mrs. McKenzie, Dornoch, N.B.

McPherson, Colin, Mr., Viewbank Terrace, Dundee.

McPherson, Colin, Mr., Viewbank Terrace, Dundee.

Miller, Francis, Mr., 17, Sutherland Street, Helensburgh.

Miller, Francis, Mr., 17, Sutherland Street, Helensburgh.

Millar, D., Mr., The Cross, Linlithgow.

Millar, D., Mr., The Cross, Linlithgow.

Mitchell, J., Mr., Matthew’s Land, Strathmartine, by Dundee.

Mitchell, J., Mr., Matthew’s Land, Strathmartine, near Dundee.

Morseley, C. A., Miss, 8, Ludeley Place, Brighton.

Morseley, C. A., Miss, 8, Ludeley Place, Brighton.

Mowat, M., Mr., Berriedale, Caithness.

Mowat, M., Mr., Berriedale, Caithness.

Oliver, A., Miss, Bovinger Rectory, Ongar, Essex.

Oliver, A., Miss, Bovinger Rectory, Ongar, Essex.

Paterson, J., Mr., Carnbo, Kinross.

Paterson, J., Mr., Carnbo, Kinross.

Pettigrew, Miss, Post Office, Auchterarder, N.B.

Pettigrew, Miss, Post Office, Auchterarder, N.B.

Pratt, W., Mr., 143, Norwich Road, Ipswich.

Pratt, W., Mr., 143 Norwich Road, Ipswich.

Robinson, W. J., Ballycassidy, viâ Omagh, Ireland.

Robinson, W. J., Ballycassidy, via Omagh, Ireland.

Rebecca, Mr., Rubislaw, near Aberdeen.

Rebecca, Mr., Rubislaw, near Aberdeen.

Sibbald, Peter, Mr., 5, Brougham Place, Hawick.

Sibbald, Peter, Mr., 5, Brougham Place, Hawick.

Smith, J., Mr., 79, Princess Street, Dundee.

Smith, J., Mr., 79 Princess Street, Dundee.

Stoddart, D., Mr., 92, Rose Street, Edinburgh.

Stoddart, D., Mr., 92 Rose Street, Edinburgh.

Suter, Miss, Balne Vicarage, Selby.

Miss Suter, Balne Vicarage, Selby.

Swanson, J., Mr., Durness Street, Thurso.

Swanson, J., Mr., Durness Street, Thurso.

Taylor, W., Mr., Merchant, Cuminstone, by Turriff, N.B.

Taylor, W., Mr., Merchant, Cuminstone, near Turriff, N.B.

Tyndal, T. G., Mr., Schoolmaster, Portleithen, Hillside, Aberdeen.

Tyndal, T. G., Mr., Teacher, Portleithen, Hillside, Aberdeen.

Wallace, Mrs., E. U. Manse, Coupar Angus.

Wallace, Mrs., E. U. Manse, Coupar Angus.

Watson, J., Mr., High Street, Alva, Stirlingshire.

Watson, J., Mr., High Street, Alva, Stirlingshire.

Whiteley, Mr., Baggholme Road, Lincoln.

Mr. Whiteley, Baggholme Road, Lincoln.

Whyte, J., Mr., Dallfied Terrace, Dundee.

Whyte, J., Mr., Dallfied Terrace, Dundee.

Wilson, G., Mrs., Cults, near Aberdeen.

Wilson, G., Mrs., Cults, near Aberdeen.

 

Note B.

Note B.

Anecdotes of “Jenny,” and “the cat, kitten, and mice,”—from Mrs. McDonald. The cat with two homes,—Mr. J. McLean. The cat that eats its mother’s kittens, lives at an hotel adjoining the railway station, Keighley, Yorkshire. The cat ringing the bell,—Miss McCorkle.

Anecdotes about “Jenny” and “the cat, kitten, and mice”—from Mrs. McDonald. The cat with two homes—Mr. J. McLean. The cat that eats its mother’s kittens lives in a hotel next to the railway station in Keighley, Yorkshire. The cat ringing the bell—Miss McCorkle.

 

Note C.

Note C.

The cat that went to the harvest-field with mistress and child,—Mrs.—Kintore, Aberdeen. Anecdotes of tabby and child,—Miss Durno. Cat saving the life of the sick child,—Mrs. G. Wilson.

The cat that went to the harvest field with its owner and child—Mrs. Kintore, Aberdeen. Stories about the tabby and child—Miss Durno. The cat that saved the life of the sick child—Mrs. G. Wilson.

 

Note D.

Note D.

“Pussy Poll,”—by Mr. Budge.

“Pussy Poll,”—by Mr. Budge.

Note E.

Note E.

Anecdote of woman going to harvest,—Mr. Samuel Gerrard. Sagacity of the shopkeeper’s cat,—Mrs. Gordon. Cat and starling’s nest,—Mrs. Wilson. Cat baiting mouse’s hole,—Mr. Rebecca. Cat taking a Fenian’s revenge,—Mr. Robinson. Cats mysteriously disappearing: first anecdote,—Mr. D. Miller; second ditto,—Mrs. Gordon.

Anecdote of a woman going to harvest,—Mr. Samuel Gerrard. Wisdom of the shopkeeper’s cat,—Mrs. Gordon. Cat and starling’s nest,—Mrs. Wilson. Cat baiting a mouse’s hole,—Mr. Rebecca. Cat getting revenge on a Fenian,—Mr. Robinson. Cats mysteriously disappearing: first story,—Mr. D. Miller; second one,—Mrs. Gordon.

 

Note F.

Note F.

“The cat that kept the Sabbath,”—from incidents related by Mr. Whyte. Mrs. Gordon and Mr. Swanson also know of almost similar instances.

“The cat that kept the Sabbath,”—from stories shared by Mr. Whyte. Mrs. Gordon and Mr. Swanson also know of almost identical cases.

 

Note G.

Note G.

Cat and the tame mavis,—Mr. P. Gray. The merchant’s honest cat,—Mr. Taylor. Cat bringing home a live canary,—Mr. Watson.

Cat and the friendly songbird,—Mr. P. Gray. The merchant's trustworthy cat,—Mr. Taylor. Cat bringing home a live canary,—Mr. Watson.

 

Note H.

Note H.

“Ploughman’s Mysie,”—from incidents related by Mr. Watson, etc.

“Ploughman’s Mysie,”—from stories shared by Mr. Watson, etc.

 

Note I.

Note I.

Cat and pigeon loft,—this occurred in Dundee. Cat and school-boy,—Mr. A. Grant. Buried cats,—Mrs. G. Wilson. Tom the cat, and Archie,—Mr. Taylor.

Cat and pigeon loft—this happened in Dundee. Cat and schoolboy—Mr. A. Grant. Buried cats—Mrs. G. Wilson. Tom the cat and Archie—Mr. Taylor.

Note J.

Note J.

Cat travelling to Wales after her master,—Mr. Whiteley. Mr. Davis possesses a cat that travelled from Pembroke to Aberdare, over fifty miles.

Cat traveling to Wales after her owner—Mr. Whiteley. Mr. Davis has a cat that traveled from Pembroke to Aberdare, over fifty miles.

 

Note K.

Note K.

Cat and pickled herring,—Mrs. Gordon. Cat and “bonnie fishwife,”—Mr. D. Miller. The cat that was a thief,—from incidents related by Mr. Smith.

Cat and pickled herring,—Mrs. Gordon. Cat and “pretty fishwife,”—Mr. D. Miller. The cat that was a thief,—from stories shared by Mr. Smith.

 

Note L.

Note L.

Mary, the old maid, and her cat,—Mr. Taylor. Cats saving kittens’ lives by swimming,—Miss Durno and Mr. Mitchell. “Ginger and Josie,” these two cats are, I believe, still alive. They belong to Miss Anderson.

Mary, the old maid, and her cat, Mr. Taylor. Cats saving kittens' lives by swimming—Miss Durno and Mr. Mitchell. "Ginger and Josie," these two cats are, I think, still alive. They belong to Miss Anderson.

 

Note M.

Note M.

Miller’s cat,—Mr. Philip. Cat that kept watch with its master at sea,—Mrs. Church. Cat’s love for the boy that caused its death,—Miss Lynch. Fiddler’s cat, that died on his grave,—Mr. Crerar.

Miller’s cat—Mr. Philip. The cat that kept watch with its owner at sea—Mrs. Church. The cat’s love for the boy that led to its death—Miss Lynch. The fiddler’s cat, which died on his grave—Mr. Crerar.

 

Note N.

Note N.

The anecdotes of cats fishing, both in shallow water and in deep, can be testified to by Mrs. Gordon, Mr. P. Sibbald, Mr. Philip, and Mr. Paterson, etc.; Cats teaching their kittens to fish, by Mrs.[Pg 273] Gordon and Mr. Taylor. Cat catching eels,—Mr. T. Gray. Water-rats,—Mr. T. Gray.

The stories of cats fishing, both in shallow and deep water, can be confirmed by Mrs. Gordon, Mr. P. Sibbald, Mr. Philip, and Mr. Paterson, among others; Cats teaching their kittens to fish, by Mrs.[Pg 273] Gordon and Mr. Taylor. Cats catching eels—Mr. T. Gray. Water rats—Mr. T. Gray.

 

Note O.

Note O.

The sketch of the starling in this tale is taken from life.

The depiction of the starling in this story is drawn from real life.

 

Note P.

Note P.

Anecdote of Pirnie,—Mr. Watson. Graysie and the weasel,—Miss Durno. Cat killing twenty rats in a day,—Mr. Gerrard. Anecdote of poor farmer and the rabbits,—Mr. Gerrard. Cat and the fox,—Mr. A. Grant.

Anecdote of Pirnie,—Mr. Watson. Graysie and the weasel,—Miss Durno. Cat killing twenty rats in a day,—Mr. Gerrard. Anecdote of the poor farmer and the rabbits,—Mr. Gerrard. Cat and the fox,—Mr. A. Grant.

 

Note Q.

Note Q.

The further adventures of this famous cat, Gibbey, will be found in the second volume, in the tale entitled “The Two Muffies.”

The further adventures of this famous cat, Gibbey, will be found in the second volume, in the story titled “The Two Muffies.”

 

Note R.

Note R.

Cats rearing dogs—this is a very common occurrence,—Mr. Stoddart and Mr. Watson. Cat rearing a hare—this is likewise not unusual. The late Mr. J. Duncan, Wolfhill Village, Perthshire, had a cat that was in the constant habit of killing and bringing home rabbits as large as herself. Still, when once upon a time all her kittens were drowned, she went and brought home two young rabbits, which she suckled and reared to maturity, and defended from dogs and cats and all comers.[Pg 274] “It was especially observed,” says Mr. Ford, “that she never brought them mice and birds, as she always used to do with her kittens.”

Cats raising dogs is a pretty common thing, Mr. Stoddart and Mr. Watson. Similarly, a cat raising a hare isn’t unusual either. The late Mr. J. Duncan from Wolfhill Village in Perthshire had a cat that often killed and brought home rabbits as big as she was. However, once when all her kittens drowned, she went and brought home two young rabbits, which she nursed and raised to adulthood, protecting them from dogs, cats, and anyone who came by.[Pg 274] “It was particularly noted,” says Mr. Ford, “that she never brought them mice and birds, as she always did with her kittens.”

Nursing squirrels. Every one has seen this, doubtless.

Nursing squirrels. Everyone has definitely seen this.

Nursing chickens. I confess I was surprised when I first heard of this habit in some cats, as related to me by Miss Gillespie; but since then the matter has been placed beyond a doubt by dozens of witnesses.

Nursing chickens. I admit I was surprised when I first heard about this behavior in some cats, as Miss Gillespie told me; but since then, many witnesses have confirmed it beyond any doubt.

Nursing hedgehogs,—Mr. Paterson.

Hedgehog nursing, —Mr. Paterson.

Nursing rats,—Miss C. A. Morseley.

Nursing rats — Miss C.A. Morseley.

 

Note S.

Note S.

Anecdote of Tom and Tabby,—Mrs. McDonald. Anecdote of the Czar and Whiskey,—Mr. Taylor. Pussy and the hare,—a true account of the latter years of a very remarkable cat and her no less remarkable bosom companion. I could conduct the reader now to a certain family, where a cat, a dog, and a rabbit nightly sleep together on the hearth-rug.

Anecdote of Tom and Tabby,—Mrs. McDonald. Anecdote of the Czar and Whiskey,—Mr. Taylor. Pussy and the hare,—a true story about the later years of an extraordinary cat and her equally extraordinary best friend. I could take the reader now to a certain family, where a cat, a dog, and a rabbit sleep together every night on the hearth rug.

“Pussy and the hare,”—from incidents related by Mr. Tyndal.

“Pussy and the hare,”—from stories told by Mr. Tyndal.

 

Note T.

Note T.

“The Miller’s Friend.” This is a tale based on fact. The cat mentioned in the story was twice nearly burned alive in the kiln. It was strange, that[Pg 275] although she took up her abode for a time at the mill, she went home to have her kittens. When the different members of her family could provide for themselves, she went back. She was very expert at fishing and catching water-rats. For the incidents of the story I am indebted to Mr. Philip.

“The Miller’s Friend.” This is a true story. The cat mentioned in the tale was twice almost burned alive in the kiln. It was odd that[Pg 275] even though she stayed at the mill for a while, she went home to have her kittens. Once her family could take care of themselves, she returned. She was really good at fishing and catching water-rats. For the events in this story, I owe thanks to Mr. Philip.

The following anecdote was kindly sent me by Mr. Catto, of The People’s Journal:—

The following story was kindly sent to me by Mr. Catto of The People’s Journal:—

Curious Story of a Montrose Cat.—About five o’clock on Friday morning the loud “walin” of a cat was heard at a door in Castle Street, Montrose. “Mither,” exclaimed Johnny to his parent, “that’s Tammie at the door.” “Na, na,” said his mother, “it canna’ be him, for I threw him ower the brig and drooned him a fortnight since.” Nevertheless, the “wals” became more loud and frequent. The good woman became terrified, and cried out, “Oh, dinna’ lat him in, Johnny; it’s his ghost!” Notwithstanding the terrific appearance of the cat, which all who have seen agree in acknowledging as something indescribably horrible, Johnny rose, cautiously approached the door, and with bated breath whispered through the keyhole, “Is that you, Tammie?” Three mild responsive “wals” were given. Thus encouraged, Johnny opened the door, and in trotted Tammie hearty and hale. How he escaped from the strong ebb tide that was ruthlessly sweeping him away in the dread darkness of the night, is a mystery which he has not yet told. Perhaps he is[Pg 276] reserving it for future publication. The narrative will be deeply affecting, and on its appearance we shall not hesitate to give copious extracts from it. “Tammie” is not to be drowned again, and his mistress thus explains why she made the attempt:—“Weel, ye see, it’s the auld story. Tammie is gey good lookin’ and had ower mony lasses rinnin’ after him; and them and him made sic a disturbance upon the stair that I was determined to get rid o’ him.”

Curious Tale of a Montrose Cat.—About five o’clock on Friday morning, the loud “wailing” of a cat was heard at a door in Castle Street, Montrose. “Mom,” Johnny exclaimed to his mother, “that’s Tammie at the door.” “No, no,” said his mother, “it can’t be him, because I threw him over the bridge and drowned him a fortnight ago.” Nevertheless, the “wails” became louder and more frequent. The terrified woman cried out, “Oh, don’t let him in, Johnny; it’s his ghost!” Despite the frightening appearance of the cat, which everyone who saw it agreed was indescribably horrible, Johnny cautiously approached the door and whispered through the keyhole, “Is that you, Tammie?” Three soft, responsive “wails” came back. Encouraged, Johnny opened the door, and in trotted Tammie, healthy and unharmed. How he escaped from the strong ebb tide that was ruthlessly sweeping him away in the dark of night remains a mystery he has yet to explain. Maybe he is[Pg 276] saving it for a future story. The tale will be deeply moving, and when it appears, we won’t hesitate to share plenty of excerpts from it. “Tammie” will not be drowned again, and his owner explains why she tried: “Well, you see, it’s the old story. Tammie is quite good-looking and had too many girls chasing after him; they caused such a commotion on the stairs that I was determined to get rid of him.”

 

END OF VOL. I.

END OF VOL. 1.

 

 


Abissinian, The Property of Mrs. Captain Barrett Lennard. Brought from Abissinia at the conclusion of the War.

Abissinian, The Property of Mrs. Captain Barrett Lennard. Brought from Abissinia at the conclusion of the War.

 

 


CATS.

CATS.

 

CHAPTER I.[8]

ORIGIN AND ANTIQUITY OF THE DOMESTIC CAT.

ORIGIN AND ANTIQUITY OF THE DOMESTIC CAT.

Gentle Reader,—I throw myself on your leniency. The other day my publisher beckoned me into his private office, behind the shop—a sanctum chiefly remarkable for the solemn air of dusty gloom, and the aristocratic cobwebbiness, which prevails in it; and says that gentleman to me,—

Gentle Reader,—I rely on your understanding. The other day my publisher called me into his private office, behind the store—a place mainly notable for its serious atmosphere of dusty darkness and the elegant cobwebs that fill it; and that gentleman said to me,—

“You must give us a chapter on the origin and antiquity of the D. C.”

“You have to give us a chapter on the origin and history of the D. C.”

“But,” I implored, “I’m not writing about the ancestorial cat, plague take her! It is the history of the present puss, with glimpses of the coming cat, that I wish to give.”

“But,” I begged, “I’m not writing about the ancestor cat, curse her! It’s the history of the present cat, with glimpses of the future cat, that I want to share.”

“Never mind,” said he, “say something; people expect it.”

“Never mind,” he said, “just say something; people are expecting it.”

“It will be so dry,” I continued.

“It’s going to be so dry,” I continued.

[Pg 278]“Then make it all the shorter.”

“Then make it shorter.”

Heigho! it is very like shoving a man forward by the shoulder, and asking him to make a speech, when he feels that he can’t say Bo! to a goose; or putting a fiddle into one’s hand, and asking him for a selection from his favourite opera, when he isn’t in the humour to play; when, in fact, the fiddle feels like a pair of bellows, and the bow as heavy as the kitchen poker. Origin and antiquity indeed! I dreamt about origin and antiquity all night, and had origin and antiquity on the brain for a week after. However, needs must when the devil—hem! I mean one’s publisher—drives.

Ugh! It feels a lot like pushing someone forward by the shoulder and telling them to give a speech when they can’t even say “hello” to a goose; or handing a fiddle to someone and asking them to play their favorite opera when they really don’t feel like it; when, in fact, the fiddle feels like a pair of bellows, and the bow feels as heavy as a kitchen poker. Origins and history, indeed! I dreamed about origins and history all night and couldn’t stop thinking about them for a week after. But, you have to do what you have to do when your publisher—uh, I mean, when someone—pressures you.

Determined, therefore, to write a most learned essay on the origin and antiquity of the D. C., I ordered a cab one morning, and—

Determined, then, to write a highly informed essay on the origin and history of the D. C., I called a cab one morning, and—

“Where for?” says Cabby, and—

“Where to?” says Cabby, and—

“British Museum,” says I.

“British Museum,” I say.

Arrived at the reading room—N.B. I had taken a ream of foolscap with me, a box of Gillott’s extra fine, and my brandy-flask filled (for this once only) with ink—“I want,” said I, to a man who came at my[Pg 279] beck, “all the books you may have in this little place, which may bear reference directly or indirectly to the subject of cats. Cats, sir,” I repeated more emphatically, because I thought he smiled. “Bring Herodotus, the father of cat-history, and Lady Cust, the mother of ditto; bring Jardine, and Rüppel, and Pennant, and Bell; also Temminck, Lonnini, and Hietro dello Valli; bring Daubenton the Egyptian, and Sulliman the Persian, Professor Owen, the erudite Darwin, and the learned Faust, and—Mephistopheles too, if procurable; and, look here, just throw in a few Russian, Hungarian, and Turkish authorities, and don’t forget to bring lexicons to match.” The man groaned, and went for a barrow. Half an hour afterwards I was seated at my desk, and if ever book-man had cause for joy, I was that individual. The illustrious authorities were piled so high above me, that an accident would have resulted in burial alive; they were behind me, before me, I sat upon them, and I had them for footstools. But still I was not happy. I leant my head on the ream of[Pg 280] foolscap, and tried to compose myself before I composed anything else. Presently I was roused from my reverie, by hearing some one close alongside of me make the remark, “Hem! hem!” clearing his throat as if to speak. On looking up, I beheld on the desk before me the queerest little old man ever I saw in my life. Taking him all and all, he couldn’t have been anything like a yard long. His legs, not longer nor thicker than sheep shears, were encased in silken hose and knee-breeches; his shrivelled body bedecked in tight-fitting velveteens, with long hair tied in a cue and worn as a tail, while his face looked for all the world like a piece of ancient parchment, which had got accidentally wet, and been dried before the fire. And he sat with one leg crossed over his knee, on a folio nearly as big as himself, and took snuff.

I arrived at the reading room—just so you know, I had brought a ream of foolscap with me, a box of Gillott’s extra fine pens, and my brandy flask filled (just this once) with ink—“I need,” I said to a man who came at my [Pg 279] call, “all the books you have in this little place that relate directly or indirectly to the topic of cats. Cats, sir,” I said more firmly because I thought he smiled. “Bring me Herodotus, the father of cat history, and Lady Cust, the mother of it; bring Jardine, Rüppel, Pennant, and Bell; also Temminck, Lonnini, and Hietro dello Valli; bring Daubenton the Egyptian, and Sulliman the Persian, Professor Owen, the knowledgeable Darwin, and the learned Faust, and—Mephistopheles too, if you can find him; and, by the way, just toss in a few Russian, Hungarian, and Turkish sources, and don’t forget to bring matching lexicons.” The man groaned and went to get a cart. Half an hour later, I was sitting at my desk, and if any book lover had a reason to be happy, it was me. The famous authors were stacked so high above me that an accident could have buried me alive; they were behind me, in front of me, I was sitting on them, and I had them as footstools. But still, I wasn’t happy. I rested my head on the ream of [Pg 280] foolscap and tried to gather my thoughts before creating anything else. Soon, I was pulled from my daydream when I heard someone right next to me clear their throat and say, “Hem! hem!” Looking up, I saw the strangest little old man I had ever encountered. All in all, he couldn’t have been much longer than a yard. His legs, no longer or thicker than sheep shears, were covered in silken stockings and knee-breeches; his shriveled body was dressed in tight-fitting velveteens, with long hair tied in a cue worn like a tail, and his face looked like a piece of ancient parchment that had accidentally gotten wet and then dried by the fire. He sat with one leg crossed over his knee on a folio nearly as big as himself, taking snuff.

“Ahem!” he remarked again, “take your pen, sir, and write.”

“Ahem!” he said again, “pick up your pen, sir, and write.”

I hastened to obey, merely asking parenthetically, “On cats?”

I quickly agreed, just asking in passing, “About cats?”

“On cats,” was the reply.

"About cats," was the reply.

“Far away in sunny Greece,” continued[Pg 281] the little man, “484 years before the birth of Christ, and on a beautiful morning, when all nature looked fresh and gay, a fair and lovely girl might have been seen hastening—”

“Far away in sunny Greece,” continued[Pg 281] the little man, “484 years before the birth of Christ, on a beautiful morning when everything looked fresh and vibrant, a beautiful girl could be seen hurrying—”

“Ah!” said I, “this will be interesting; heave round, ancient cockalorum.”

“Ah!” I said, “this will be interesting; keep going, old show-off.”

“Hastening, sir, for the midwife. If the day was bright and fine, still more enchanting was the scenery, for it was the suburbs of the city of Halicarnassus, now called Budron, in the province of Caria. And that morning, exactly at ten o’clock, was born into the world a sweet little babe, afterwards the great and illustrious Herodotus.

“Hurrying, sir, for the midwife. If the day was bright and clear, the scenery was even more captivating, for it was the suburbs of the city of Halicarnassus, now known as Bodrum, in the province of Caria. And that morning, precisely at ten o’clock, a sweet little baby was born into the world, who later became the great and renowned Herodotus.”

“He wrote—indeed I may say sang, for his whole history is one noble poem—of the ancient Medes and Assyrians, and of the long line of Persia’s kings; he sang the wars of Cyrus, and told the sad tale of the kingdom of Lydia, and he sung the wars of gallant Darius and the Scythians, and told of conquering Cambyses, and Egypt of the olden time; and last, but not least, sir, he wrote on Cats and Cat-life.

“He wrote—actually, I might say he sang, because his entire story is like one great poem—about the ancient Medes and Assyrians, and the long line of kings from Persia. He sang about the wars of Cyrus, shared the tragic story of the kingdom of Lydia, recounted the battles of brave Darius and the Scythians, and talked about the conquering Cambyses and ancient Egypt. And last but not least, sir, he wrote on Cats and Cat-life.

“Ay, sir, in Egypt in the good old times,[Pg 282] pussy had her rights, had appreciation, had justice. If a boy had killed a cat with a stone, or a man murdered her with a dog, Lynch law would have been had on the very spot. Pussy was gently tended, cared for, and loved even to veneration, while alive, and after death, her little body had the honours of embalmment; her virtues were written on monumental tablets, and her memory cherished by the bereaved owners until the day of their death. In Turkey too, and especially in Persia, cats have been household pets as far back as man can remember. In many places hospitals were built for them, something after the style and fashion of your modern cat-homes; and in so great esteem was she held, that bloody riots and war itself were not unfrequently the result of injury done, or insult offered to pussy. In the quaint but beautiful love-songs of ancient Persia, so full of splendid imagery, do we not often find the poet comparing the bright eyes of his mistress to those of gentle pussy, or her winning ways to those of the domestic cat?”

“Yeah, sir, back in the day in Egypt, [Pg 282] cats were respected, appreciated, and treated fairly. If a boy had killed a cat with a stone, or a man had murdered one with a dog, they'd have faced instant justice right then and there. Cats were lovingly cared for, cherished, and almost worshipped when they were alive, and after they passed, their little bodies were embalmed with honor; their good qualities were inscribed on memorial tablets, and they were remembered fondly by their owners until their own deaths. In Turkey too, especially in Persia, cats have been beloved pets for as long as anyone can remember. In many places, hospitals were built for them, similar to your modern cat shelters; and cats were so highly valued that violent riots and even wars sometimes erupted over any harm or disrespect toward them. In the lovely but quirky love songs of ancient Persia, filled with stunning imagery, isn’t it common for poets to compare their beloved's bright eyes to those of a gentle cat, or their charming personalities to those of the domestic feline?”

[Pg 283]“The origin of the D. C. did you say, sir?”

[Pg 283]“Did you say the origin of the D.C., sir?”

“There is the tiger of Bengal, which you have seen at a distance—preferring no nearer acquaintance. There is the tiger-cat, or spotted leopard of Central Africa, which—I will do you the justice to say—you have shot; and there is the kolo-kolo of Guiana—”

“There’s the Bengal tiger, which you’ve seen from afar—preferring not to get any closer. There’s the tiger-cat, or spotted leopard of Central Africa, which—I’ll give you credit for this—you have shot; and there’s the kolo-kolo of Guiana—”

“Isn’t,” insinuated I, “one kolo enough for a cat?”

“Isn’t one kolo enough for a cat?” I hinted.

“It is, sir,” said the little man severely; “a cat of two colours, and a very vicious beast he is besides. There is the small serval of Africa, and the ocelot, all too well known to need a description. But from none of all these springs the domestic cat. Neither does it descend from the wild cat, still common enough in Skye and Sutherland, in the mountains of Ireland, and spread here and there throughout Europe. It must be regarded as quite a distinct species. Domestic pussy will, at odd times, escape to the hills, and, becoming a nomad, breed with the wild-cat; but the kittens will be found far different, both in markings and shape. No, sir,”[Pg 284] and here the little old man got very much excited, and took snuff so vehemently that the tears coursed down his wizened cheeks. “No, I fully believe with the to-be-immortal Darwin, that mankind is descended in a direct line from the oyster—”

“It is, sir,” said the little man sternly; “a cat with two colors, and a very aggressive creature it is, too. There’s the small serval from Africa, and the ocelot, both of which are too well known to require a description. But none of these is the ancestor of the domestic cat. Nor does it come from the wildcat, which is still quite common in Skye and Sutherland, in the mountains of Ireland, and scattered throughout Europe. It should be seen as a completely distinct species. Domestic cats will, at times, wander off to the hills, and, becoming nomadic, breed with wildcats; but the kittens are quite different, both in their patterns and shape. No, sir,”[Pg 284] and here the little old man grew very animated, taking snuff so fervently that tears streamed down his wrinkled cheeks. “No, I firmly believe, along with the soon-to-be-immortal Darwin, that humanity is directly descended from the oyster—”

“And how deliciously,” said I, “our forefathers eat with buttered roll and stout.”

“And how deliciously,” I said, “our ancestors ate with buttered rolls and stout.”

“The oyster, sir,” he repeated, not heeding the interruption; “and I do unhesitatingly believe, that cats sprang in an equally direct line from the mussel.”

“The oyster, sir,” he repeated, ignoring the interruption; “and I firmly believe that cats evolved in just as straightforward a manner from the mussel.”

The little man then got into such an apparent ravel, among hard names and great unspellable authorities, that my head again drooped on the desk before me, and the next thing I remember, is the man—not the little old man; he had somehow or other mysteriously disappeared—touching me gently on the shoulder, and giving me to understand that it was time to be moving.

The little man then got so tangled up in complicated names and big, unspellable titles that my head drooped onto the desk in front of me. The next thing I remember is a different man—no longer the little old man; he had somehow mysteriously vanished—gently tapping me on the shoulder and letting me know it was time to go.

I did move. And I left the reading-room as wise—if not wiser—than when I entered it, on the origin and antiquity of the domestic cat.

I did move. And I left the reading room just as wise—if not wiser—than when I entered it, on the origin and history of the domestic cat.

 

 


CHAPTER II.

[See Note A, Addenda.]

[See __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__, Addenda.]

CLASSIFICATION AND POINTS.

CLASSIFICATION AND POINTS.

As the present work is not by any means intended to partake of the scientific, but is written solely with the view of gaining for the domestic cat her proper position in society, it will, I think, serve my purpose better to describe the classification of cats generally adopted at pussy-shows, instead of dividing them, as otherwise they ought to be, into the different species and breeds. Had I adopted the latter method, I should have felt bound to give a minute description of the cats of various countries and climates, such as those peculiar to India, China, Abyssinia, Russia, and Persia, as well as those inhabiting our own land.

As this work is not meant to be scientific but is written solely to elevate the domestic cat's status in society, I believe it will be more effective to describe the classification of cats typically used at cat shows instead of categorizing them into different species and breeds. If I had chosen the latter approach, I would have felt obligated to provide detailed descriptions of cats from various countries and climates, including those unique to India, China, Abyssinia, Russia, and Persia, as well as those found in our own country.

The classification adopted at the Crystal Palace Show, and also at Birmingham, is—with one exception, to be mentioned further on—as good as any we can at present[Pg 286] have. The cats are divided into long-haired and short-haired of both sexes, the latter being mostly English, the former including the various species of Angora or Persian.

The classification used at the Crystal Palace Show, and also at Birmingham, is—except for one exception that will be discussed later—as good as we can currently have[Pg 286]. The cats are split into long-haired and short-haired of both sexes, with the short-haired ones mostly being English, while the long-haired ones include different breeds of Angora or Persian.

Class I. And first on the list comes Tortoiseshell Tom.

Class 1. And first on the list is Tortoiseshell Tom.

For many a long year, this cat was considered a myth and an impossibility; and this belief seemed to receive confirmation, when, at the first Crystal Palace Show, no Tortoiseshell Tom put in an appearance. He was all there, however, at the second; and people scratched their heads, and stared as they looked at him and said, “Well, then, to be sure, who would have thought it!”

For many years, this cat was seen as a myth and something impossible; and this idea seemed to be confirmed when, at the first Crystal Palace Show, no Tortoiseshell Tom showed up. However, he was there at the second show, and people scratched their heads and stared at him, saying, “Well, who would have thought that!”

He isn’t a beauty by any means. I have seen some seals not unlike him about the head; and he looks as though he would take off his gloves on very slight provocation. This cat belongs to Mr. L. Smith, Clerkenwell, London; but I have no doubt there are many other Tortoiseshell Toms in the world. A friend of mine was telling[Pg 287] me last week, that he had had one, but that it only lived for three months.

He’s not exactly a looker. I’ve seen some seals that look a bit like him around the head; and he seems like the kind of guy who would take off his gloves over the smallest thing. This cat belongs to Mr. L. Smith from Clerkenwell, London; but I’m sure there are many other Tortoiseshell Toms out there. A friend of mine was telling[Pg 287] me last week that he had one, but it only lived for three months.

I myself know of one other; I sent a humble but enthusiastic friend of mine to treat for its purchase, but in vain—they would not part with the cat, although they have not the slightest notion of its value.

I know of one other too; I sent a modest but eager friend of mine to negotiate for its purchase, but it was no use—they wouldn’t sell the cat, even though they have no idea of its worth.

“By George, Doctor,” says my humble but enthusiastic friend, “if they won’t sell him I’ll steal him.”

“By George, Doctor,” says my modest but passionate friend, “if they won’t sell him, I’ll just take him.”

“For shame, Fred,” say I. And I have suggested “cutting out”[9] as a more honourable expedient.

“For shame, Fred,” I say. And I have suggested “cutting out”[9] as a more honorable solution.

On the whole, nature seems to abhor a Tortoiseshell Tom as it does a vacuum, or a chicken with two heads.

On the whole, nature seems to dislike a Tortoiseshell Tom just like it does a vacuum or a chicken with two heads.

Tortoiseshell cats are, as a rule, neither very large, nor very prepossessing. They have a sinister look about them, as though they would as soon bite you as not. I question too if they exhibit the same affection as other species. They are, however, excellent hunters, and brave to a fault.[Pg 288] They will often fight with, and defeat, cats double their own weight and size.

Tortoiseshell cats are usually not very big or especially attractive. They have a bit of a unsettling vibe, as if they'd just as soon bite you as not. I'm not sure they show the same level of affection as other breeds. However, they are fantastic hunters and extremely brave. [Pg 288] They often take on and defeat cats that are twice their weight and size.

Judged by: The comparative distinctness of markings, length and texture of pelage[10] (it ought to be longish and very soft and glossy) deepness of the shades of colour, entire absence of white, and general plumpness.

Judged by: The clear differences in markings, length, and texture of the fur[10] (it should be somewhat long, very soft, and glossy), richness of color, complete lack of white, and overall plumpness.

Class II. Tortoiseshell and White. Colour to be red, yellow, black, and white.

Class 2. Tortoiseshell and White. The colors should be red, yellow, black, and white.

This cat ought to be, in size, rather larger than the former, not too leggy, with a round well-pleased head and bright eyes, with the patches of colour evenly and tastefully arranged, and the tints very decided.

This cat should be larger than the previous one, not too long-legged, with a round, content-looking head and bright eyes, featuring patches of color that are evenly and tastefully arranged, with very distinct shades.

Judged by: These qualities, and general condition of body and pelage.

Judged by: These traits, along with the overall state of the body and fur.

Class III. Brown Tabby. Colour to be rich brown, striped and marked with black—no white. This is a class of very fine, noble cats. They are the true English cats, and, if well trained, possess all pussy’s noblest attributes to perfection. They are docile, honest, and faithful, fond of children, careful mothers and brave fathers, though[Pg 289] seldom taking undue advantage of their great strength; and it is of them nearly all the best cat-stories are told.

Class 3. Brown Tabby. The color should be a deep brown, with black stripes and markings—no white. This is a category of very fine, noble cats. They are the true English cats, and if properly trained, they display all of a cat's best qualities perfectly. They are gentle, trustworthy, and loyal, loving towards children, attentive mothers, and courageous fathers, though[Pg 289] they rarely misuse their great strength; and it is from them that most of the best cat stories are told.

Judged by: General size. They ought to be very large, long massive body, with shortish legs (especially fore-legs) and exhibiting great power with suppleness. Head ought to be large and round, with perpendicular stripes, converging rather towards the eye-brows, and branching off horizontally over the cheeks. The face ought to have an intellectual look—not sinister, and the ears—especially in the males—must be short.

Judged by: Overall size. They should be very large, with a long, solid body, short legs (particularly the front legs) while showing great strength and flexibility. The head should be large and round, featuring straight stripes that angle towards the eyebrows and branch out horizontally over the cheeks. The face should have an intelligent appearance—not sinister, and the ears—especially in males—must be short.

The ground-work of brown, should be of a rich colour, and the markings on the body deeply black, and uniformly arranged. The pelage to be longer on the chest, and marked with one bar at least, giving the appearance of a Lord Mayor’s Chain. The legs also ought to be striped transversely with black. Tail long and moderately bushy.

The base color should be a rich brown, with deep black markings on the body arranged uniformly. The fur on the chest should be longer and feature at least one bar that resembles a Lord Mayor’s Chain. The legs should also have transverse black stripes. The tail should be long and moderately bushy.

Class IV. Blue or Silver Tabby. Colour to be blue, or silver grey, striped and marked with black. I do not know a more lovely cat than this same Silver Tabby.[Pg 290] They are really quite elegant cats. Of a size rather smaller than the Brown Tabbies. They are more gracefully shaped, more lithe and quicker in all their movements. The head is also smaller and not so blunt, and the eyes piercingly bright; the ears too are a shade longer.

Class 4. Blue or Silver Tabby. The color should be blue or silver gray, with stripes and markings in black. I can't think of a more beautiful cat than this Silver Tabby.[Pg 290] They are truly elegant cats. They are slightly smaller than the Brown Tabbies, with a more graceful shape, being more agile and quicker in all their movements. Their heads are smaller and less blunt, and their eyes are strikingly bright; their ears are also a bit longer.

Judged by: General contour, and brightness of markings. Ground colour to be something like the grey of Aberdeen granite, and markings to be deep and well placed. Pelage close and glossy.

Judged by: Overall shape and brightness of patterns. The base color should resemble the grey of Aberdeen granite, with markings that are dark and well-positioned. The fur should be short and shiny.

Class V. Red Tabby. Colour to be reddish, or sandy, marked with darker red, no white.

Grade 5. Red Tabby. The color should be reddish or sandy, with darker red markings and no white.

This splendid cat is, I am sorry to say, getting only too rare, and sadly needs encouragement, for if it is allowed to die out, where shall we get our favourite red and white cats? Where even our tortoise-shell? In some parts of the country, there is a very unjust prejudice against the colour of this cat. I beg then humbly to suggest to the committees of management of cat-shows, that they ought to give a little[Pg 291] stimulant to the breeding of this beautiful animal, in the shape of a rather higher prize. Indeed I think it would be a good plan, to make the amount of prize-money, in all classes, bear some sort of relation to the comparative rarity of the breed. This sort of handicapping would, I am sure, tend to equalize the number of entries for each class.

This beautiful cat is, unfortunately, becoming increasingly rare and sadly needs support. If it’s allowed to disappear, where will we find our beloved red and white cats? Where will we even find our tortoiseshells? In some areas, there is an unfair bias against the color of this cat. So, I humbly suggest to the organizing committees of cat shows that they should provide a little[Pg 291] incentive to encourage the breeding of this gorgeous animal by offering a higher prize. I really think it would be a good idea to link the prize money in all classes to the rarity of the breed. This kind of adjustment would, I’m sure, help balance the number of entries for each class.

The Red Tabby ought to approach in size, and shape, nearly to the Brown. They are the same kind-hearted, good-natured animals as their brown brethren, and as a rule are better hunters. They go farther afield, and tackle larger game, and seldom forget to bring home at least a portion of each day’s game-bag. They are often, moreover, very expert fishers.

The Red Tabby should be similar in size and shape to the Brown. They are just as friendly and good-natured as their brown counterparts, and generally, they're better hunters. They venture further and take on bigger prey, and they usually remember to bring back at least part of the day's catch. Additionally, they're often quite skilled at fishing.

Judged by: Size and general appearance; urbanity of countenance not to be overlooked. Markings—the ground colour to be a nice sandy colour, and the stripes a rich deep red, and in all respects the same shape as those on the Brown Tabby. The eyes deep-set and a beautiful yellow.

Judged by: Size and overall look; urbanity of expression shouldn't be missed. Markings—the base color should be a pleasant sandy shade, and the stripes a vivid deep red, matching the shape of those on the Brown Tabby. The eyes should be deep-set and a gorgeous yellow.

[Pg 292]Class VI. Red and White Tabby. Colour to be reddish or sandy, marked with white. These are very fine cats, although, perhaps not very fashionable, but some that I have seen were very beautiful; especially one I remember in Wales, a very large cat, the white ground was like the driven snow, and the spots about the size of half-crowns, spread prodigally all over, like those in a well-bred Dalmatian dog; I do not think that two spots in all his body coalesced.

[Pg 292]Grade 6. Red and White Tabby. The color should be reddish or sandy, with white markings. These are really nice cats, and while they might not be the trendiest, some I've seen are quite beautiful; especially one I remember in Wales, a very large cat with a white coat as bright as fresh snow, and spots about the size of half-crowns scattered all over, similar to those on a well-bred Dalmatian dog; I don’t think any two spots on his body were connected.

Judged by: Size—you want this cat largish. Brightness of colouring, and regularity of markings. Tail is long and not very bushy, and eyes yellow mostly.

Judged by: Size—you want this cat to be fairly large. Brightness of color and consistency of markings. The tail should be long and not very fluffy, with mostly yellow eyes.

Class VII. Spotted Tabby. Colour to be brown, blue, or light or dark grey, marked with black or white. At most cat-shows, a good deal of confusion exists, about what this cat ought really to be like, even among the best judges. There is plenty of latitude given as to colour. I like the brown, and the blue, and light or dark grey, and the black, but I abjure the white; at all[Pg 293] events we can very easily dispense with it. The cat I have in my mind’s eye at the present moment, comes, I think, well up to the mark of what a Spotted Tabby should be like. He was a large “sonsy” animal, with broad brow and chest, short ears, and well-pleased face, quite the cat to sing lullabies at the farmer’s fireside, or to romp in garden or on parlour floor with the squire’s bright-eyed English children. His markings were as follows. The ground colour was dark grey; a broad black band ran along his back and down his fine tail; and diverging from this band came dark stripes of colour down the sides, converging round the thighs, and swirling round his chest in two Lord Mayor’s chains; but the stripes had this peculiarity, they were all broken up into spots.

Grade 7. Spotted Tabby. The color can be brown, blue, or light or dark grey, marked with black or white. At many cat shows, there’s a lot of confusion about what this cat should actually look like, even among the most experienced judges. There’s a lot of flexibility when it comes to color. I prefer the brown, blue, light or dark grey, and black, but I definitely avoid white; at all[Pg 293] events, we can easily do without it. The cat I envision right now meets my idea of what a Spotted Tabby should be. He was a large, robust animal, with a broad forehead and chest, short ears, and a contented expression, just the kind of cat to sing lullabies by the farmer's fireside or play in the garden or on the living room floor with the squire’s bright-eyed English children. His markings were as follows: the base color was dark grey; a wide black stripe ran along his back and down his elegant tail; and dark stripes diverged from this band down the sides, converging around the thighs and swirling around his chest in two patterns reminiscent of Lord Mayor's chains; but the stripes had this unique feature—they were all broken up into spots.

Class VIII. Black and White. Colour, black evenly marked with white. This is something more definite. The Black-and-white Tom cat is a large, handsome, gentlemanlike fellow, a sort of cat that you could not believe would condescend to do a dirty[Pg 294] action, or would hardly deign to capture a miserable mouse; and his wife is a perfect lady. I have never seen a more handsome specimen than Miss F——n’s prize cat “Snowball.” His eyes sparkle like emeralds; his nose and upper lip are pure white, but his chin is black. His shirt-front is spotless as the snow. He wears white gloves, not gauntlets—gauntlets, he told me, were snobbish, and only fit for low cats—and beautiful white stockings. This cat knocks with the knocker at the area door when he wants admission.

Grade 8. Black and White. Color, black evenly marked with white. This is something more definite. The black-and-white tomcat is a large, handsome, distinguished fellow, the kind of cat you wouldn't believe would stoop to do anything dirty or would barely bother to catch a pathetic mouse; and his mate is a true lady. I've never seen a more stunning example than Miss F——n’s prize cat “Snowball.” His eyes shine like emeralds; his nose and upper lip are pure white, but his chin is black. His shirt-front is as spotless as freshly fallen snow. He wears white gloves, not gauntlets—gauntlets, he told me, are pretentious and only fit for lowly cats—and beautiful white stockings. This cat knocks with the knocker at the area door when he wants to come in.

Judged by: Evenness of the markings; not too much white. Miss F——n’s is a good example. Pelage to be thick and glossy, whiskers white, and eyes a deep sea-green.

Judged by: Consistency of the markings; not too much white. Miss F——n’s is a good example. The fur should be thick and shiny, whiskers should be white, and eyes should be a deep sea-green.

Class IX. Black. Colour to be entirely black; no white. No, not a morsel of white can be here tolerated, not even on the point of the chin; although we often see pure black cats on whose coats Nature seems to have been amusing herself, by planting long single white hairs all over them. This is sometimes, but not always, the result of age.

Grade 9. Black. The color must be completely black; no white allowed. Not even a tiny bit of white can be accepted here, not even on the chin; although we sometimes see pure black cats with random long white hairs scattered throughout their coats as if Nature had a bit of fun. This is sometimes, but not always, due to aging.

This cat is, above all others, the best[Pg 295] adapted for house-hunting; for his hearing and sight are extremely keen, and while seeing well in the dark, he is himself unseen. He is invaluable to those whose goods are liable to become a prey to vermin. He is a fierce cat when angered, but not naturally quarrelsome.

This cat is, more than any other, the best[Pg 295] suited for finding a home; his hearing and sight are incredibly sharp, and while he can see well in the dark, he remains unnoticed. He's essential for anyone whose belongings might be targeted by pests. He becomes a fierce cat when provoked, but he's not naturally aggressive.

Judged by: Size. They ought to be large, but with more grace of motion than the Brown Tabby. Colour, all jet black, and pelage glossy and thick. Whiskers to be black as well. Eyes: green eyes better than yellow, but hazel or brown better than either.

Judged by: Size. They should be large, but with more graceful movement than the Brown Tabby. Color, completely jet black, with a glossy and thick coat. Whiskers should also be black. Eyes: green eyes are preferred over yellow, but hazel or brown are better than either.

Class X. White. Colour to be entirely white: no black. These cats make very pretty parlour cats when they are bright in colour. Millers often prefer them as hunters to black cats, thinking, perhaps with reason, that they are not so easily seen among the bags. A perfectly white cat is a very nice and affectionate pet; but they are often dull and apathetic. Some of them, too, are deaf.

Grade 10. White. The color must be completely white: no black. These cats make lovely pets for the living room when they are vibrant in color. Farmers often prefer them as hunters over black cats, possibly because they believe, with some justification, that they aren't as easy to spot in the bags. A perfectly white cat is a wonderful and affectionate companion; however, they can often be listless and unresponsive. Some of them are also deaf.

Judged by: General condition of pelage and symmetry of body. Ought to be graceful, and not too languid-looking. Must be[Pg 296] entirely white. Eyes: ought to be blue, although they are too often yellow. Eyes ought to be both blue. It is a defect to have eyes of different colours.

Judged by: Overall condition of the fur and body symmetry. It should be graceful and not look too sluggish. Must be[Pg 296] completely white. Eyes: should be blue, although they are often yellow. Both eyes should be blue. Having eyes of different colors is a flaw.

Class XI. Unusual Colour. Colour to be any remarkable hue not otherwise classified.

11th Grade. Unusual Color. Color refers to any distinct shade that doesn't fit into existing categories.

Judged by: Colour, shape, size, and symmetry. A very beautiful and graceful little cat, I saw at the Birmingham Show. It belongs to a Mr. S. Lawrence, and is called “Maltese,” although I never saw anything like it in that island. It was all of one colour—a strange sort of slate-colour or blue: even the whiskers were of the same hue. The nose was tipped with black, and the eyes were orange yellow.

Judged by: Color, shape, size, and symmetry. I saw a really beautiful and graceful little cat at the Birmingham Show. It belongs to a Mr. S. Lawrence and is called “Maltese,” although I've never seen anything like it on that island. It was all one color—a strange kind of slate or blue: even the whiskers were the same shade. The nose was tipped with black, and the eyes were orange-yellow.

Class XII. Any other Variety or Abnormal Formation. Any colour, but of singular form, such as Manx or six-clawed cats.

12th Grade. Any other Variety or Abnormal Formation. Any color, but in unique forms, like Manx cats or cats with six claws.

This class, I think, deserves but little encouragement. What do we want with cats with six claws? and—this is sarcasm—cats without tails ought to be ashamed of themselves. Besides, if you bring me young kittens, I shall, with the aid of a gum lancet,[Pg 297] and a needle and thread, make you Manx cats as fast as winking; and I think I could do so less clumsily than has been done to some Manx(?) cats I lately saw at Birmingham. And, talking of Birmingham, there was one cat exhibited there in this class, which, as a Naval officer, I must be permitted to have a shy at. Was it a Manx? No; very much the reverse, for, whereas a Manx cat has no tail, this brute had no fewer than nine. It was labelled “Garotters back-biter,” and hailed from Millbank prison. I wish it were confined to that prison, or to any prison. By all means use it on the backs of garotters. Tickle them up with it three times a day if you choose. But why, in this civilized age, should this brutal weapon be still raised against our brave blue-jackets, who defend our coast and homes, and fight our battles both by sea and land. Soldiers are now exempt from the lash; are sailors less deserving? If not, why should a naval seaman be classed in the same catalogue, and used in the same way, as that most mean and cowardly of all creatures—the garotter?[Pg 298] Ugh! the scenes I have witnessed in my own short time in the service, I would not chill the blood of the reader by describing. But this cat-o’-nine-tails has been, and is still, often used in the service, by officers in command, not as an instrument of punishment, but of wrath and revenge, against some poor fellow who may have unwittingly incurred their displeasure. Then look at the demoralizing effect it has on the mind and character. I have seen a brave honest man lashed up to the grating, and receive his punishment in silence, and I have seen the same man, pale and ghastly, cast loose—the blood from his bitten lips trickling over his neck—but how changed! good no longer, but reckless. And I’ve marked his future career, and seen him, in plain language, go posthaste to the devil. Can you conceive of anything more cowardly than to tie a poor fellow hand and foot, and make a brutal attack on his person? I have seen a commander—thank God such men are few: smirking to himself, as he looked on a strong man writhing in silent agony, and I have[Pg 299] glanced from the one to the other and thought, “He is the heroyou, cocked hat, sword, and all—are the villain.” Discipline must be upheld, if we would continue to rule the seas; but banish the cat, it can easily be dispensed with; or, if it must be retained, let it be the terror only of thieves. If a man errs, punish him, shoot him where he stands if his crime deserves it, but, Avaunt dishonour! do not flog him.

This class, I think, deserves very little encouragement. What do we need with cats that have six claws? And—this is sarcasm—cats without tails should be embarrassed. Besides, if you bring me young kittens, I can, with a gum lancet,[Pg 297] a needle, and thread, make you Manx cats in no time; and I believe I could do it less awkwardly than what I saw done to some Manx(?) cats recently in Birmingham. Speaking of Birmingham, there was one cat shown in this class that, as a Naval officer, I must take a shot at. Was it a Manx? No, quite the opposite, because while a Manx cat has no tail, this creature had no fewer than nine. It was labeled “Garotters back-biter” and came from Millbank prison. I wish it were confined to that prison, or any prison. Feel free to use it on the backs of garotters. Go ahead and whip them with it three times a day if you want. But why, in this civilized age, should this brutal weapon still be used against our brave sailors, who protect our coast and homes, and fight our battles at sea and on land? Soldiers are now free from the lash; are sailors any less deserving? If not, why should a naval seamen be treated the same way and used as that most lowly and cowardly creature—the garotter?[Pg 298] Ugh! The scenes I’ve witnessed in my short time in service, I wouldn’t want to chill the reader’s blood by describing. But this cat-o’-nine-tails has been and still is often used in service by commanding officers, not as a tool for punishment, but for wrath and revenge against some poor fellow who might have unintentionally displeased them. Just look at the demoralizing effect it has on someone’s mind and character. I have seen a brave, honest man tied up and punished in silence, and I have seen that same man, pale and ghostly, released—the blood from his bitten lips dripping down his neck—but how changed! no longer good, but reckless. I’ve tracked his future, and I’ve seen him, to put it plainly, spiral to ruin. Can you think of anything more cowardly than to tie a poor fellow up and brutally attack him? I’ve seen a commander—thank God such men are rare—smirking to himself while watching a strong man writhing in silent agony, and I glanced from one to the other and thought, “He is the heroyou, with the cocked hat and sword—are the villain.” Discipline must be maintained if we want to rule the seas; but let’s get rid of the cat, it can easily be eliminated; or, if it must stay, let it only be a terror to thieves. If a man makes a mistake, punish him, shoot him where he stands if his crime warrants it, but, for goodness' sake, do not flog him.

On the judging of long-haired cats very few words will suffice.

When it comes to judging long-haired cats, just a few words are enough.

The classes, are, Tortoiseshell and White, Tabby, Red Tabby, Pure White, Black, and Unusual Colour.

The classes are Tortoiseshell and White, Tabby, Red Tabby, Pure White, Black, and Unusual Colour.

These classes must be judged by:—Markings, which are wanted as distinct and well arranged as possible. Size—they ought to be large cats. Pelage—ought to be very long silken, and glossy. The eyes should be of the same colour as in the short-haired classes.

These classes must be judged by:—Markings, which should be as distinct and well arranged as possible. Size—they should be large cats. Fur—it should be very long, silky, and glossy. The eyes should be the same color as in the short-haired classes.

The head of the male Persian should be very broad and characteristic; and the ears short, well feathered internally, and pointing[Pg 300] downwards and forwards. In the female, the head is much smaller and sharper.

The male Persian's head should be very broad and distinctive, with short ears that are well-feathered inside and pointing down and forward. In females, the head is much smaller and sharper.

In the pure Black cats, the hair is not so fine; and it is at times parted down the centre like that of a well-bred Newfoundland dog.

In pure black cats, the fur isn’t as fine, and it sometimes parts down the middle like that of a well-bred Newfoundland dog.

Miss Hales’s Angora, “Selim,” is a very fine specimen—slate-coloured on the body, the face vandyked with white, and a beautiful snowy apron in front. His eyes are green and sparkling; and from his cage he glares out at you with a look of surly grandeur, highly characteristic of his noble breed.

Miss Hales’s Angora, “Selim,” is a superb specimen—slate-colored on his body, with a white-mottled face, and a lovely snowy apron in front. His eyes are bright green and sparkling; from his cage, he stares at you with an air of sulky grandeur, which is very typical of his noble breed.

The same lady’s “Zuleika,” a pussy imported from Smyrna, is a most lovely and engaging little thing—all white, with small round head, long hair, and pitiful eyes, as if it wanted so much to be petted—in fact just lived to be loved, and nothing else. It is a pet fit for a princess.

The same lady’s “Zuleika,” a cat brought in from Smyrna, is a really lovely and charming little thing—all white, with a small round head, long fur, and sad eyes, as if it really wanted to be petted—basically, it just lives to be loved, and nothing more. It's a pet that's perfect for a princess.

It is the classification of the “Cats of no Sex” which I think might be altered for the better. By the bye, what a ridiculous denomination—“cats of no sex”!

It’s the classification of the “Cats of no Sex” that I think could be improved. By the way, what a silly term—“cats of no sex”!

I think I see Lord Dundreary, after[Pg 301] reading the catalogue, moralizing on his finger ends.

I think I see Lord Dundreary, after[Pg 301] reading the catalog, reflecting on his fingers.

“Catth of no theckth—that ith, neither mathculine nor feminine,—let me thee,—why, they mutht be neuter catth—catth without life. Hi! Tham; I thay, old man, they’re going to hold a thow of dead catth.”

“Cats of no gender—that is, neither masculine nor feminine—let me tell you—why, they must be neuter cats—cats without life. Hey! Sam; I say, old man, they’re going to hold a show of dead cats.”

Children and ladies often ask ridiculous questions about these wonderful “cats of no sex.”

Children and women often ask silly questions about these amazing "genderless cats."

Why not boldly adopt the terms “Entire cats” and “Non-entire cats,” and stick to them? Honi soit qui mal y pense![11] Now “non-entire cats” are excellent hunters and good home pets; and, if well cared for, they become very large and beautiful, although they do at times become lazy and fat. Why then should they not have as many classes to compete in as the “entire” cats?

Why not confidently use the terms “Entire cats” and “Non-entire cats” and stick with them? Shame on anyone who thinks otherwise![11] Non-entire cats are great hunters and wonderful pets; and, if treated well, they can grow very large and beautiful, though they can sometimes get lazy and overweight. So why shouldn't they have just as many categories to compete in as the "entire" cats?

But there is a greater mistake still made in the judging. They are judged by weight only. The reader can easily see, then, that there is no encouragement given to any one[Pg 302] to breed a beautiful cat; and at all cat-shows, you will be surprised to find very ugly cats labelled first and second prize, next cage to a perfect beauty, whose only misfortune was, that he had no appetite for breakfast that morning, and consequently lost the prize by two ounces—of beef-steak. No; these cats must be judged by their other qualities, of course giving a certain number of points for extra weight. Example—I happen to know a cat which I’ll back for ugliness, against any puss in the three kingdoms. He was originally white, but is now beautifully ornamented with cinder holes all over; his face is seamed with bloody scars, got in honourable conflict; and you ought just to see that cat throw back the remains of his ears and scowl. I ought to have entered him at last Birmingham Show—he would have been first; but, as the lassie said, I “didna like.” But, if there is no alteration by next year, Egad! he shall go to Birmingham and the Crystal Palace too; and I think for weight he’ll beat at both places.

But there's an even bigger mistake in how they're judged. They're judged just by weight. It’s clear that there’s no real incentive for anyone[Pg 302] to breed a beautiful cat; at every cat show, you’d be surprised to see very ugly cats winning first and second prizes right next to a perfect beauty, whose only misfortune was that he didn’t have an appetite for breakfast that morning, and lost the prize by a mere two ounces—of beef steak. No; these cats should be judged on their other qualities, while still awarding some points for extra weight. For example—I know a cat I’d bet on for ugliness against any cat in the three kingdoms. He was originally white, but now he's fantastically decorated with burn marks all over; his face is marked with bloody scars from honorable battles; and you should see that cat throw back the remnants of his ears and scowl. I should have entered him at the last Birmingham Show—he would have taken first place; but, as the girl said, I "didn’t feel like it." However, if nothing changes by next year, by golly! he’s definitely going to Birmingham and the Crystal Palace too; and I think he’ll win on weight at both shows.

Wild Cats. These animals are still to be[Pg 303] found in some of the most solitary regions of Skye and Sutherland: and, I am told, they are sometimes seen in the mountainous parts of Connemara. Like the brown Tabby of domesticity, they vary considerably in their markings; but they can never be mistaken for any other. As a rule, the ground colour is yellowish grey, with dark stripes—the markings being at times, as even and beautiful as those of the Bengal tiger. The tail is shorter, and more bushy than that of the domestic cat; and the head, if once seen, or the voice, if once heard, can never be forgotten. Those I have seen killed, were all anything but fat, or even in very good condition, showing, I think, that their life must be rather a hard and miserable one.

Wild Cats. These animals can still be[Pg 303] found in some of the most remote areas of Skye and Sutherland, and I’ve heard they are sometimes spotted in the mountainous regions of Connemara. Like the brown Tabby of domestication, they have quite a variety in their markings, but they can never be confused with any other species. Generally, the base color is a yellowish gray with dark stripes—sometimes the patterns are as even and beautiful as those of the Bengal tiger. Their tails are shorter and fluffier than those of domestic cats, and once you’ve seen their head or heard their voice, you’ll never forget it. The ones I’ve seen that were killed were all far from fat or even in good shape, which suggests to me that their lives must be pretty tough and miserable.

On the north-west shore of the Isle of Skye, between Kilmuir manse and the romantic ruin called Duntulm Castle, stands a mountain,—or rather one half of a mountain, the other half, by some gigantic agency, is levelled to the ground, and lies spread over the sea-shore in acres of large boulders—the precipitous sides of the cleft mountain rising[Pg 304] up at one side, and the waves of the Atlantic for ever thundering on the other. A road has been made straight over these boulders. Late one summer’s night I was coming home along this road, all alone with the exception of a little wire-haired terrier called Kooran. I was just about the centre; the moon was well down in the West, and cast my shadow far over the heaps of stones. I was gazing up at the beetling cliffs above me and wondering whether any one would ever find the hidden treasure of gold and precious stones which, they say, lies buried in a cave somewhere on this mountain’s side, watched over by a malignant fairy (see Note B, Addenda), when I was startled from my reverie by a sound which I should in vain attempt to describe. It was partly growl, partly scream,—angry, mournful, horrible. Kooran’s tail sought instant refuge between his legs; and although I had on a decent-sized Scotch bonnet, which might weigh somewhere over two pounds, I think my hair raised it; at any rate my legs seemed suddenly to become ethereal, and I did not feel the ground[Pg 305] beneath my feet until I had rounded the distant corner, and left both cat and mountain a good mile behind me. The prey of the Wild Cat is principally rabbits, and game of different sorts; and in the month of May they sometimes commit great depredations among the young lambs. Of course the keepers trap and shoot them on every possible occasion. It is not very often, however, that they manage to get a shot at them, it being the habit of the wild-cat to lie perdu all day, coming out only at night to hunt their quarry, or at early morning. Several stories of adventures with these dreadful creatures could be told, if space permitted. I shall only mention one, which I do not think has yet found its way into print. (See Note C, Addenda.)

On the northwest coast of the Isle of Skye, between Kilmuir manse and the picturesque ruins of Duntulm Castle, there is a mountain—or really half a mountain; the other half has somehow been flattened and lies scattered along the shoreline in large boulders. The steep sides of the jagged mountain rise up on one side, while the relentless waves of the Atlantic crash on the other. A road has been built straight over these boulders. One late summer night, I was walking home along this road, all alone except for a little wire-haired terrier named Kooran. I was roughly in the middle of the path; the moon was low in the West, casting my shadow far across the piles of stones. I was looking up at the towering cliffs above me, wondering if anyone would ever discover the hidden treasure of gold and precious gems said to be buried in a cave somewhere on this mountain, guarded by a vengeful fairy (see Note B, Addenda), when I was jolted from my daydream by a sound I can't even begin to describe. It was part growl, part scream—angry, mournful, terrifying. Kooran tucked his tail between his legs, and even though I was wearing a decent-sized Scottish bonnet that weighed about two pounds, it felt like my hair stood on end. My legs turned to jelly, and I didn't feel the ground beneath my feet until I rounded a distant corner, leaving both the sound and the mountain a good mile behind me. The Wild Cat primarily preys on rabbits and various game, and in May, they often wreak havoc among the young lambs. Naturally, the keepers trap and shoot them whenever possible. However, it’s not common for them to get a shot, as wild cats tend to hide all day, coming out only at night to hunt or early in the morning. There are many tales of encounters with these terrifying creatures if there were space to tell them. I will mention just one, which I don’t think has been published before. (See Note C, Addenda.)

Liddesdale, it will do the reader no harm to know, is the southernmost parish in Roxburghshire. Some years ago a shepherd who used to reside here left for the Highlands. He had a family of boys. One day, while these lads were running about among the hills and woods, they started a large wild[Pg 306] cat, and—for keepers’ children know no fear—at once gave chase. Puss took to a tree. Thinking they were now sure of her, one of the boys took his jacket off, and prepared to climb and dislodge her; while the others stood round with stones, to do for her when she came down. They saw their brave companion climb the tree; they saw the monster come down to meet him, and fasten on his neck. They looked up horrified; there was scarcely a cry, save the low growl of the cat; a few drops of blood came pattering down, and then the children ran off screaming towards home. The father was soon on the spot, joined by some men with dogs. One of these instantly drew his knife and commenced to climb the tree. The enraged brute now left the boy and came down to attack the man; but the struggle was brief; the cat was dashed, wounded, to the ground, where it was speedily despatched by the dogs and men. But there was no sound from above. The poor boy was found lying on his back athwart the branches, his head and arms drooping downwards—dead.

Liddesdale, just so you know, is the southernmost parish in Roxburghshire. A few years back, a shepherd who lived here moved to the Highlands. He had a bunch of boys. One day, while the boys were running around in the hills and woods, they spotted a large wild[Pg 306] cat and—since keeper’s kids don’t scare easily—they immediately took off after it. The cat climbed a tree. Thinking they had her cornered, one of the boys took off his jacket and got ready to climb up and get her down, while the others gathered stones to throw at her when she came down. They watched their brave friend scale the tree; they saw the fierce creature come down to meet him and latch onto his neck. They looked up in horror; there was hardly a sound, except for the cat’s low growl; a few drops of blood dripped down, and then the kids ran off screaming towards home. The father arrived quickly, joined by some men with dogs. One of the men immediately pulled out a knife and started climbing the tree. The furious cat abandoned the boy and came down to attack the man; but the fight was quick; the cat was thrown down, injured, to the ground, where the dogs and men quickly killed it. But there was no sound from above. The poor boy was found lying on his back across the branches, his head and arms dangling down—dead.

 

 


CHAPTER III.

PUSSY’S PATIENCE AND CLEANLINESS.

CATS’ PATIENCE AND CLEANLINESS.

Next to a cat’s love for children, if there is one thing more than another that ought to make one love her and respect her as a pet, it is the extreme patience which she evinces under sufferings, sometimes the most acute. We talk about dogs being game, and taking their death easy; and so they mostly do under excitement; but in long lingering illnesses, pussy is a much better patient.

Next to a cat’s love for kids, if there’s one thing that should make you love and respect her as a pet, it’s the incredible patience she shows while enduring suffering, sometimes very intense. We often say dogs are brave and handle their pain well, especially in exciting situations; but when it comes to prolonged illnesses, cats are much better at being patients.

Pussy, moreover, is blessed with extreme good-nature, and will pardon almost any injury from one she loves. I have no patience with people who say that cats are unforgiving, or that “a friendship of years may be cancelled in a moment, by an accidental tread on its tail or feet.” “Look,” the same parties will tell you, “how patiently a dog will bear a like accident.”

Pussy is also incredibly good-natured and will forgive almost any harm from someone she loves. I have no patience for people who say that cats are unforgiving or that “a friendship of years can be wiped out in an instant by accidentally stepping on their tail or feet.” “Look,” those same people will tell you, “how patiently a dog will handle a similar accident.”

Ay; but, say I, you must bear in mind three things:—First, a dog is generally larger[Pg 308] than a cat, and a tread is consequently a mere trifle to him. Secondly, a cat is ten times more sensitive to pain than a dog. And, thirdly, a cat has so many enemies of all sorts, that she must be for ever on the alert to avert danger; not knowing when a foe may pounce upon her, she has to sleep even with open ears. Is it any wonder, then, that, when roused from slumber by a cruel and painful tread on her tail, she should start up and show fight, or run off growling—perhaps, indeed, only half-awake? But malice she never harbours in her heart; and in half an hour, when she has thought the matter over, she will creep from under the sofa or bed, to fondly caress the very one who hurt her.

Sure, but you need to keep three things in mind: First, a dog is usually bigger than a cat, so stepping on its tail isn’t a big deal. Second, a cat is ten times more sensitive to pain than a dog. And third, a cat has so many enemies that she has to always be on guard to avoid danger; never knowing when someone might attack, she even sleeps with her ears perked. So is it any surprise that when she’s suddenly woken up by a painful step on her tail, she might jump up and fight back, or run off growling—maybe even just half-awake? But she holds no grudges, and in half an hour, after thinking it through, she’ll come out from under the sofa or bed to affectionately rub against the person who hurt her.

No animal appreciates kindness more than a cat. Witness the gratitude even a poor stray will evince, to any one who may have fed it when hungry.

No animal appreciates kindness more than a cat. Just look at how grateful even a poor stray can be to anyone who has fed it when it's hungry.

“Not long ago,” writes a lady to me, “a cat (one of the kind kept as a machine) used to frequent our garden, starved enough, poor thing, as its knotty fur betokened; so, having a trap set in our house to catch mice, and[Pg 309] being always more or less successful in catching the vermin, I one day took the trap, with a mouse in it, to the garden, and by dint of very little persuasion, managed to get near this cat waif, and give it the mouse. That was quite enough; it got them ever after, so long as it was in life; and invariably from that date whenever it saw me in the garden, it would come bounding to me. And I am sure, by its dumb delight, it well repaid me, showing that it fully appreciated both the voice, and hand of kindness.” (See Note D, Addenda.)

“Not long ago,” a lady writes to me, “a cat (the kind that’s kept for work) often visited our garden, looking really skinny, poor thing, as its tangled fur showed; so, since I had a trap set in our house to catch mice, and I was usually pretty good at catching the pests, I took the trap with a mouse in it to the garden one day. With just a little coaxing, I was able to get close to this stray cat and give it the mouse. That was all it took; it got mice from me every time after that, as long as it lived; and from that moment on, whenever it saw me in the garden, it would come running to me. I’m sure, by its silent joy, it showed me it really appreciated both the kindness of my voice and my hand.” (See Note D, Addenda.)

It is this same patience in her nature, that makes our domestic cat such an excellent hunter and vermin killer. We all know how patiently she will sit in a corner, and watch for a mouse or rat. She knows very well it will come sooner or later, and she is always rewarded with success. She is the same in the hunting-field, waiting for hours at the door of a rabbit-burrow, till poor Bunny, or some one of her children, peeps out; then, “I’ll have you,” says puss, and forthwith walks it off. Or, hidden under a[Pg 310] heather hillock, or a turnip-leaf, she will wait and wait, and never weary, until she can secure a beautiful grouse, or plump little partridge. Witness their patience and long-suffering with children,—this I have already spoken about, and need not repeat,—having proved, in a former chapter, that they not only bear, but even seem to like, a certain amount of rough treatment at baby hands.

It’s this same patience in her nature that makes our domestic cat such a great hunter and pest controller. We all know how patiently she sits in a corner, waiting for a mouse or rat. She knows it will come sooner or later, and she’s always rewarded with success. She behaves the same way in the hunting field, waiting for hours at the entrance of a rabbit burrow until poor Bunny, or one of her kittens, peeks out; then, “I’ve got you,” says the cat, and she strolls off. Or, hidden under a[Pg 310] heather mound or a turnip leaf, she will wait and wait without getting tired, until she can catch a lovely grouse or a plump little partridge. Just look at their patience and endurance with children — I’ve mentioned this before, so I won’t repeat myself — having shown in a previous chapter that they not only tolerate but even seem to enjoy a certain amount of rough handling from little hands.

Tucker was about the best-natured lump of a cat I ever knew. You might have done anything with him—flung him over the church for instance. If you had, I dare be sworn, Tucker would have alighted on his feet at the other side, and gone quietly off to sleep. No, he was not a particularly good hunter, he was hardly cruel enough to kill a mouse; but he had a spirit of his own for all that, and if you had shaken your finger at him, he would have let you have it straight from the shoulder. (See Note E, Addenda.)

Tucker was probably the sweetest cat I ever knew. You could have done anything with him—like tossing him over the church, for example. If you did, I swear Tucker would have landed on his feet on the other side and then just gone off to take a nap. No, he wasn't a great hunter; he was barely ruthless enough to catch a mouse. But he still had his own personality, and if you shook your finger at him, he wouldn’t hesitate to give it back to you straight. (See Note E, Addenda.)

Tucker used to submit himself, quietly, to be tied up in a towel, and placed in a scale opposite a leg of mutton, or Scotch cheese. He was once sent a distance of thirty yards,[Pg 311] trussed up in this fashion, to a shopkeeper’s place, to be weighed. Tucker went through the operation so patiently, that the grocer never suspected till the very last.

Tucker would quietly let himself be wrapped in a towel and placed on one side of a scale against a leg of mutton or some Scotch cheese. One time, he was sent thirty yards, [Pg 311] tied up like this, to a shopkeeper's place to be weighed. Tucker went through the process so patiently that the grocer never suspected a thing until the very end.

“A good solid hare,” he said, feeling the bundle; “but bless me, isn’t he warm? Do you think he is really dead?”

“A nice, sturdy hare,” he said, feeling the bundle; “but wow, isn’t he warm? Do you really think he’s dead?”

“Err-a-wa-ow,” said Tucker, popping out his head at a corner, as much as to say, “Not just yet, friend;” and the laugh was all against the grocer.

“Err-a-wa-ow,” Tucker said, popping his head around a corner, almost like he was saying, “Not just yet, buddy;” and everyone was laughing at the grocer.

How patiently a cat will wait for her dinner, until every one else is served, reminding you only then, by her loud singing and demonstrative kindness, that there is still a little hole in her stomach that wants filling! And, how patiently sit and wait, and watch for the return of her master or mistress, be they never so long absent! She knows their footsteps, and jumps up at their knock, and runs to the door to meet them.

How patiently a cat will wait for her dinner until everyone else is served, only then reminding you, with her loud meowing and affectionate behavior, that there's still a little empty space in her belly that needs filling! And how patiently she sits and waits, watching for the return of her owner, no matter how long they're gone! She recognizes their footsteps, jumps up at their knock, and runs to the door to greet them.

I know of a poor cat that was for a whole fortnight in a trap. The cruel keepers had left him for all that time, without either food or drink; he was afterwards discovered[Pg 312] by his owner, and taken home. Although a beautiful large Tom tabby when he left home, he was reduced to a perfect skeleton. His leg had to be amputated; but he bore the operation without flinching, struggling a little at first only, but giving vent to no expression of pain. He made a very good recovery; but, being one of the mighty-hunter persuasion, as soon as he was perfectly recovered, he hopped off to the woods again. He did not return, however, and for two years was not seen again; but one dark night, his master, on passing through a wood, had his attention attracted by the cries of a cat. The animal was in a tree; and, on the gentleman’s approach, it sprang down, and commenced rubbing round his legs, with every expression of affection and kindness. On bending down to caress it, the gentleman was surprised to find it had only three legs. It followed him home, and he then made certain it was none other than his long-lost pet. It stopped at home for many a day after this, and seemed in no way inconvenienced from the loss of its hind-leg. But[Pg 313] travellers never can settle, and puss took to the woods again, and this time fell a victim to the keeper’s vengeance. (See Note F, Addenda.)

I know of a poor cat that spent two whole weeks trapped. The cruel keepers left him there without any food or water; he was later found[Pg 312] by his owner and taken home. Although he was a beautiful, large Tom tabby when he left, he was now nothing but skin and bones. His leg had to be amputated, but he handled the surgery without flinching, struggling only a little at first and not showing any signs of pain. He made a good recovery, but since he was a natural hunter, as soon as he was back to full health, he hopped off into the woods again. He didn’t come back for two years, until one dark night, his owner was walking through the woods and heard the cries of a cat. The cat was in a tree; when the man got close, it jumped down and started rubbing against his legs, showing all kinds of affection. When he bent down to pet it, he was surprised to see it had only three legs. It followed him home, and he realized it was his long-lost pet. It stayed at home for many days after that and didn’t seem to struggle with missing its back leg. But[Pg 313] a wanderer's spirit never settles, and the cat returned to the woods again, this time falling victim to the keeper’s wrath. (See Note F, Addenda.)

Another cat of my acquaintance was in like manner caught in a trap, and had to endure amputation of the leg; although in much suffering and pain, it bore it without a murmur.

Another cat I knew was similarly caught in a trap and had to undergo a leg amputation; although it suffered greatly, it endured without a sound.

“I witnessed, only last week,” says a young lady, “while residing with my married sister, down in Kent, an instance of great patience and endurance in a cat. A Dandie Dinmont dog was dragging her round and round the garden walks by the tail, and instead of being annoyed, pussy seemed really to enjoy it.”—(See Note G, Addenda.)

“I saw just last week,” says a young woman, “while staying with my sister in Kent, an amazing display of patience and endurance from a cat. A Dandie Dinmont dog was pulling her around the garden paths by her tail, and instead of getting mad, the cat actually seemed to enjoy it.”—(See Note G, Addenda.)

Cats know as well as a human beings, that, when you are examining and treating their hurts—whether inflicted by traps or stones—you mean to do them good. Cats, even strange cats, often lick my hands when I am probing a wound and inflicting the most severe pain on them.

Cats understand just like humans do that when you're examining and treating their injuries—whether caused by traps or stones—you have their best interests at heart. Even unfamiliar cats often lick my hands when I'm probing a wound and causing them significant pain.

Cats always show gratitude by licking[Pg 314] your hand; it is the greatest compliment a cat can pay you, for they are not so ready as dogs, to sow their kisses and caresses broad-cast.

Cats always show appreciation by licking[Pg 314] your hand; it's the highest compliment a cat can give you, since they aren't as quick as dogs to share their affection and cuddles openly.

I was amused the other day, at seeing the care and attention a little girl was bestowing on a pet cat. Tom had been out all night, and came in next day on three legs; the one he carried was wounded, bruised, and much swollen, and Tom himself looked generally seedy and out of sorts. Now, had it been a boy instead of a girl, he would, in all probability, have done nothing useful. But females are always practical; and this embryo Miss Nightingale, after having a good cry, set about at once to put matters straight for poor Tom. She bathed the leg in warm water, and encircled it with a large poultice. Then she rolled him in an old shawl, and put him to bed in a basket. Tom kept his bed for ten days, during which time, she fed him from a plate, not allowing him to get up; and every time the poultice was changed, the cat licked her hand in evident gratitude. In fact, Tom made the best of patients,[Pg 315] being more like a sincere Christian than anything else; and his little nurse was finally rewarded, by having her pet gambolling around her as usual.

I was amused the other day watching a little girl take care of a pet cat. Tom had been out all night and came back the next day limping on three legs; the one he was favoring was hurt, bruised, and pretty swollen, and Tom himself looked generally shabby and out of sorts. If it had been a boy instead of a girl, he probably wouldn't have done anything helpful. But girls are always practical; this little Miss Nightingale, after having a good cry, immediately set about making things right for poor Tom. She bathed his leg in warm water and wrapped it in a big poultice. Then she rolled him in an old shawl and put him to bed in a basket. Tom stayed in bed for ten days, during which time she fed him from a plate, not letting him get up. Each time the poultice was changed, the cat licked her hand in clear gratitude. In fact, Tom was the best of patients, acting more like a devoted companion than anything else; and his little nurse was eventually rewarded with her pet frolicking around her like usual.

A cat, some time ago, received a charge of ragged shot in his shoulder. He fainted from loss of blood, and afterwards had high fever, just as a human being would have done, under like circumstances. The greater portion of the shot was extracted, or worked out in the process of healing; one portion, however, pussy carried to his grave with him. During the painful process of having his wounds probed for shot, pussy never even groaned. (See Note H, Addenda.)

A cat, some time ago, got hit in the shoulder with some rough shot. He passed out from blood loss and later had a high fever, just like a human would in the same situation. Most of the shot was removed or worked out while healing; however, one piece stayed with him until the end. Throughout the painful process of having his wounds checked for shot, the cat didn’t make a single sound. (See Note H, Addenda.)

But it is in long and severe illnesses that pussy’s patience is best exemplified.

But it's during long and serious illnesses that a cat's patience shines the most.

A poor cat, many years ago, took a severe illness—jaundice. He was a fine large Tom cat, of the name of Tacket, and a very great pet; but in a short time he got reduced to a mere bag of bones; his fine fur came out in parts, and in parts hung about him like tassels. So pitiful an object looked he, that his master and[Pg 316] mistress had the sin of keeping him alive forcibly pointed out to them by their friends. Indeed, he was now so weak as to be unable to move from his bed by the kitchen fire. On the 10th day, when he was at his very worst, a little raw meat was given him; and, his head being supported, he managed to swallow it. This was the turning point of his illness; he began to rally, and soon got well, and plump, and sleek; and the other day died at the age of twelve. But it was a treat to see how patiently poor Tacket bore his illness. Every morning, when his master went to see him, although he could not rise, he tried to sing. But the power of purring left him as he got weaker; on the 9th day he could just sing one bar, and on the 10th day only one note. This cat had a great dislike, for months afterwards, to milk in any shape or form; from having been continually dosed with it while sick, he used positively to shiver at the sight of it. (See Note I, Addenda.)

A poor cat, many years ago, got really sick with jaundice. He was a big, fine Tom cat named Tacket and a beloved pet, but soon he became nothing but skin and bones; his beautiful fur fell out in patches, and what was left dangled from him like tassels. He looked so pitiful that his owner and [Pg 316] his wife were made to realize by their friends that it was cruel to keep him alive. In fact, he was so weak that he couldn't even move from his bed by the kitchen fire. On the 10th day, when he was at his worst, they gave him a little raw meat; he managed to swallow it with his head supported. This was the turning point in his recovery; he began to improve and soon became healthy, plump, and sleek. Just the other day, he passed away at the age of twelve. But it was heartwarming to see how patiently poor Tacket endured his illness. Every morning, even though he couldn't get up, he tried to sing when his owner came to see him. However, as he got weaker, his ability to purr faded; on the 9th day, he could only manage one bar of song, and on the 10th day, just one note. This cat developed a strong aversion to milk in any form for months afterward; after being constantly dosed with it while sick, he would actually shiver at the sight of it. (See Note I, Addenda.)

But I have, I believe, said enough to [Pg 317]prove pussy’s claim to the virtues of both patience and gratitude.

But I believe I've said enough to [Pg 317]prove that cats embody the qualities of both patience and gratitude.

 

ANGORA.
First Prize—Owned by Miss M. Armitage.

ANGORA.
First Prize—Owned by Miss M. Armitage.

 

PERSIAN.
First Prize—Owned by —— Mongredian, Esq.

PERSIAN.
First Prize—Owned by —— Mongredian, Esq.

 

Habits of Cleanliness in Cats. It must be allowed, that of all our domestic pets, pussy undoubtedly bears the bell for personal cleanliness. Nature has adorned her with a most beautiful coat, of the softest, silkiest fur and loveliest of colours; and she spares no pains to keep it clean and smart. I firmly believe that the cat is very proud of her appearance, and likes to cut a dash—here again, by the bye, she resembles the female of the human family. Pussy is for ever cleaning and washing at herself. If a well-bred parlour cat, she will never allow a speck of dirt to sully her fur. I can always tell whether a cat is properly cared for, and has sufficient food, by the appearance of her coat. If she is allowed to be hungry, or is badly housed, she soon loses all taste in herself, and doesn’t care a rat’s tail how she looks.

Habits of Cleanliness in Cats. It's clear that among all our pets, cats definitely take the prize for personal cleanliness. Nature has given them a stunning coat, made of the softest, silkiest fur in the most beautiful colors, and they go to great lengths to keep it clean and looking good. I truly believe that cats take pride in their appearance and enjoy showing off—here again, this is similar to how women often act. Cats are always grooming and washing themselves. If it's a well-bred house cat, it will never let a speck of dirt tarnish its fur. I can always tell if a cat is well taken care of and has enough to eat by the state of its coat. If it's hungry or poorly housed, it quickly loses interest in its appearance and doesn’t care at all how it looks.

When a cat’s coat begins to appear rough and stare, it is the first indication of approaching illness; and this symptom[Pg 318] will never be unattended to by those who love their pet.

When a cat’s fur starts to look rough and dull, it’s the first sign that it might be getting sick; and this symptom[Pg 318] will always catch the attention of those who care for their pet.

I have known cats take ill and die from having their coats accidentally soiled beyond remedy.

I have seen cats get sick and die from having their fur accidentally messed up beyond repair.

 

 


CHAPTER IV.

TRICKS AND TRAINING.

Skills and Training.

Some of the tricks which cats perform are highly amusing. Of course I refer to our fireside puss, and not to publicly performing cats; these require special training, and a large amount of educating. But almost any cat will, either of her own accord or with very little teaching, perform antics and capers enough to amuse children at least, if not indeed to make older people smile.

Some of the tricks that cats do are really entertaining. I'm talking about our indoor cats, not the ones that perform in public; those need special training and a lot of education. But pretty much any cat will, either on their own or with just a little guidance, do enough funny antics to entertain kids at least, if not to make adults smile too.

Cats must be trained when young; and the very first thing you must teach them is to love you. If you can accomplish this, they will learn almost anything.

Cats need to be trained when they’re young, and the very first thing you should teach them is to love you. If you can achieve this, they’ll learn almost anything.

Cats have great jumping power naturally; and this power can be greatly increased, by proper exercise in the days of their kitten-hood. They can spring almost incredible distances, either up or down. My[Pg 320] own favourite, when one year old, used to jump clean over the parlour door, fetching away a bit of meat that had been placed on the top. The best method of instructing a cat in leaping heights, is to place bits of food at different elevations, and encourage her to bring them down. She will soon be able to spring seven or eight feet easily; and this same exercise will stand her many a good turn, in her predatory excursions in the field, or her amatory perambulations on the tiles. I have seen a cat, thus trained, spring from one house-top to another, a distance of fully ten feet; there were three other cats, but none dared follow her. I know of a cat, of the extraordinary weight of 22 lbs., that springs with apparent ease from the parlour-floor on to a door over six feet high. (See Note K, Addenda.)

Cats naturally have powerful jumps, and this ability can be greatly enhanced with the right exercise during their kitten days. They can leap astonishing distances, both up and down. My[Pg 320] favorite, at one year old, could jump right over the living room door to grab a piece of meat placed on top. The best way to teach a cat to leap to great heights is to place bits of food at various levels and encourage her to retrieve them. She’ll soon be able to jump seven or eight feet with ease, and this same exercise will serve her well on hunting trips outside or while exploring the roof tiles. I’ve seen a trained cat leap from one rooftop to another, a distance of almost ten feet; there were three other cats, but none dared to follow her. I know of a cat weighing an incredible 22 lbs that can effortlessly jump from the living room floor to a door over six feet high. (See Note K, Addenda.)

At Preston, the other day, my lady Muff chose to declare herself “on the spree.” As usual on such occasions, half a dozen Toms came to serenade her; and loudly they sang of her charms. The night being[Pg 321] muggy and wet, I determined to keep her ladyship within doors, so Theodore Nero was sent out to reason with her lovers, while I shut puss up in the bedroom. In this act of incarceration I was encouraged by the starling, who was busy examining the anatomy of the pin-cushion, but who left off boring holes to say,—

At Preston the other day, Lady Muff decided to proclaim that she was “on the spree.” As usual, on occasions like this, a bunch of guys showed up to serenade her, singing loudly about her beauty. Since the night was[Pg 321] muggy and rainy, I decided to keep her inside, so I sent Theodore Nero out to talk to her admirers while I locked her up in the bedroom. I was encouraged in this act of confinement by the starling, who was busy poking around the pin-cushion, but paused from boring holes to say,—

“Bravo, doctor! Br-ravo!

“Awesome, doctor! Br-avo!

“I’ll bravo you, presently, if you don’t mind,” said Muff as plainly as eyes and eyebrows could speak. Muff was exceedingly wroth.

“I’ll applaud you soon, if that’s alright,” said Muff as clearly as eyes and eyebrows could express. Muff was extremely angry.

“Is—is—is cats to be trusted?” remarked Dick musingly to himself, as he re-commenced playing Old Harry with the pin-cushion. Now the bed-room window was just twenty feet from the ground, and had been left open at the top. When I went up to bed, I unlocked the door and entered cautiously—for I knew all her tricks and manners. The starling was perched on the looking-glass, asleep, and Muffie was gone. The blind was disarranged. She had jumped over. I went down with[Pg 322] a carpet-bag, to look for her remains; but there weren’t any. Muffie came in at tea-time next day, seedy rather, but triumphant.

“Can cats be trusted?” Dick said thoughtfully to himself as he started playing with the pin-cushion again. The bedroom window was about twenty feet off the ground and had been left open at the top. When I went to bed, I unlocked the door and entered quietly—I knew all her tricks. The starling was asleep on the mirror, and Muffie was gone. The blind was messy. She had jumped out. I went down with[Pg 322] a carpet bag to look for her, but I didn’t find anything. Muffie came back at tea time the next day, looking a bit rough but victorious.

Another capital plan to teach a cat to leap a height, is to attach a hare’s foot to a piece of string at the end of a fishing rod, and set it in motion. You can thus regulate the elevation to pussy’s daily increasing capabilities. I have seen a cat bring her kittens to this gymnasium, and teach the whole four of them to jump and seize the hare’s foot, which she herself used to set in motion.

Another effective way to teach a cat to jump higher is to tie a hare’s foot to a piece of string at the end of a fishing rod and move it around. This way, you can adjust the height according to the cat's growing skills. I've seen a cat bring her kittens to this setup and teach all four of them to jump and grab the hare’s foot, which she herself used to get moving.

A very common trick, is to teach pussy to jump through your arms. Begin by holding them low between your legs; having taught her to leap thus, hold them to one side, and make her jump either way backwards and forwards. Gradually increase the height, till, standing erect, you form a large P, and puss springs through the bend of it. Then hold your arms right above you, slightly bending your neck and your cat—presuming the reader is anything[Pg 323] under seven feet high—shall leap right over your head.

A popular trick is to teach your cat to jump through your arms. Start by holding your arms low between your legs; once she learns to leap this way, hold your arms to one side and have her jump back and forth. Gradually raise your arms higher until you're standing up straight and forming a large P shape, with your cat jumping through the curve. Then, hold your arms straight up above you, slightly bending your neck, and your cat—assuming the reader is less than seven feet tall—will leap right over your head.

Very pretty and effective exercise for a cat, is hoop-leaping. It costs little trouble to teach, and every cat will learn it. For this, you must be provided with a little switch, not to hit the cat, but merely to make a noise in the air. Pronounce the word “hoop” each time you hold the article in front of her, and she will soon learn to go through in whatever position you hold it. Or you may have a series of hoops, at different elevations, placed in the garden, a few yards apart; or, better still, hung from the couples of a barn or grain-loft. On these last a young and healthy cat soon becomes quite a wonderful performer; and, if you wish her to be still more highly educated in the hoop business, you can dip your hoop in methylated spirits of wine and set fire to it; she will go through just the same. Or cover the hoop with thin tissue paper, and teach her to go through it. At first the paper must be oiled, so as to be nearly transparent. A friend of[Pg 324] mine, coming home at twelve o’clock the other night, heard an awful noise and rattling in an out-house which he had fitted up as a cat gymnasium. On going in with a light, he was surprised to find two full-grown kittens performing—they had been giving a dark séance on their own account.

A very pretty and fun exercise for a cat is hoop-leaping. It’s easy to teach, and every cat can learn it. For this, you just need a little stick, not to hit the cat, but to make a noise in the air. Say the word “hoop” every time you hold the stick in front of her, and she’ll quickly learn to jump through, no matter how you hold it. You can also set up a series of hoops at different heights in the yard, placed a few yards apart, or even better, hang them from the beams of a barn or loft. A young and healthy cat quickly becomes an impressive performer on these. If you want her to get even better at hoop jumping, you can dip the hoop in methylated spirits of wine and light it on fire; she’ll leap through just the same. Or, cover the hoop with thin tissue paper and teach her to jump through it. At first, the paper should be oiled to make it almost transparent. A friend of mine came home late one night and heard a terrible noise and rattling in a shed he had set up as a cat gym. When he went in with a light, he was surprised to find two full-grown kittens performing—they had been holding their own little show.

After any performance, you must never forget to reward poor puss with food and water, which latter, on these occasions, she will prefer to milk. Cats, you know, are not very fond of music, still I have known them taught to move rhythmically to it.

After any performance, you should always remember to treat your kitty with food and water, which she'll prefer over milk in these situations. Cats aren’t really into music, but I’ve seen some of them learn to move to it in rhythm.

The hearth-rug is the arena on which puss may be taught to perform a variety of tricks. I know a cat that, if you ask her to show you how a hare lies in the market, throws herself on the floor on her side, and, stretching her fore-legs and hind-legs in a line with her body, lies there, to all appearance dead, till you bid her rise.

The hearth rug is the place where a cat can be taught to do all sorts of tricks. I know a cat that, if you ask her to show you how a hare lies at the market, will throw herself on the floor on her side, stretching her front and back legs straight out with her body, and just lie there, looking completely dead, until you tell her to get up.

I know a cat that turns somersaults on request. You can easily teach a cat to beg after the fashion of a broken-haired terrier, as also to give a paw—right or left, and to[Pg 325] jump on your knee, and, placing its two fore-legs one on each side of your neck, execute quite a theatrical embrace. Or you may make her stand in a corner on her hind-legs, until requested to drop down. I know a pussy that jumps on a chair at the bidding of her mistress, and, placing her fore-paws over the back, rests her head on them, and simulates sleep. Indeed, nothing is more easy than to teach a cat to open or shut her eyes at the word of command. (See Note L, Addenda.)

I know a cat that does somersaults on command. You can easily teach a cat to beg like a scruffy terrier, as well as to give a paw—either right or left, and to[Pg 325] jump onto your lap, wrapping her two front legs around your neck for a dramatic hug. You can also make her stand in a corner on her hind legs until you tell her to come down. I know a cat that jumps onto a chair when her owner calls, rests her head on her front paws over the back, and pretends to sleep. In fact, it's really easy to teach a cat to open or close her eyes on command. (See Note L, Addenda.)

There are two things which every household puss may, and ought to be, taught, viz., to come and lie down quietly by the fire or on the sofa, when told, and to “watch,” that is, to sit by a mouse hole, where you know a mouse to be, until she catches it; but you must never deceive her.

There are two things that every household cat can and should be taught: to come and lie down quietly by the fire or on the sofa when told, and to "watch," meaning to sit by a mouse hole where you know a mouse is, until she catches it; but you should never deceive her.

I know of a daft little puss who sits on her master’s shoulder at dinner; and when he is about to treat himself to some specially tempting morsel, cleverly snatches it from the fork as he is putting it to his mouth, and transfers it to her own. She does it with such an apparent appreciation of the fun of[Pg 326] the joke, that no one could be angry with her. (See Note M, Addenda.)

I know a silly little cat who sits on her owner's shoulder at dinner, and just when he's about to enjoy a particularly tasty bite, she cleverly snatches it from his fork as he's bringing it to his mouth and takes it for herself. She does it with such a clear enjoyment of the joke that no one can stay mad at her. (See Note M, Addenda.)

You can easily teach your cat to become an expert fisher, by throwing half-dead minnows on the top of the water, and encouraging her to jump in and seize them.

You can easily teach your cat to be a pro at fishing by tossing half-dead minnows on the water's surface and encouraging her to jump in and catch them.

Cats can be taught to ring the bell and to open the door.

Cats can learn to ring the bell and open the door.

But whatever other tricks or performances you may care to teach her, it is very much for pussy’s future welfare that she should, when young, have plenty of leaping exercise; and if, at the same time, you make a good retriever of her, she will form the habit of always bringing home her prey. For, with all due respect for the game laws, I do like to see a cat come trotting home in the gloaming, with a nice young leveret or a plump partridge in her mouth; nobody is any the poorer, and her master has something nice for supper. You teach a cat to retrieve with a hare’s foot. Teach her in the parlour first, then by flinging the plaything out of doors. She will soon learn to bring it in and lay it at your feet. A[Pg 327] freshly-killed bird may then be used, and you will very soon have the satisfaction of seeing her invariably bring home her quarry.

But whatever other tricks or activities you want to teach her, it's really important for the cat's future well-being that she gets plenty of jumping exercise while she's young. If you also train her to be a good retriever, she'll develop the habit of always bringing her catch back home. With all due respect to the game laws, I really enjoy seeing a cat trotting home at dusk with a nice young leveret or a plump partridge in her mouth; no one loses out, and her owner has something great for dinner. You can teach a cat to retrieve using a hare's foot. Start in the living room, then toss the toy outside. She'll quickly learn to bring it back and lay it at your feet. A[Pg 327] freshly killed bird can then be used, and soon enough, you'll be pleased to see her consistently bringing home her catch.

In the country, but only in the country, you may teach your cat to follow you in your walks just like a dog, and she will never lose you either by night or day.

In the countryside, but only there, you can train your cat to walk with you just like a dog, and she will never lose track of you, whether it’s day or night.

Cats come to your “whistle” much better than to any other call.

Cats respond to your "whistle" much better than any other call.

In training this interesting animal, you must have every consideration for her failings and weaknesses, and must never forget that she will do almost anything, for one who loves her and treats her with kindness.

When training this fascinating animal, you should be mindful of her flaws and weaknesses, and always remember that she will do nearly anything for someone who loves her and treats her with kindness.

Inculcate habits of cleanliness in grown cats. There are times when, through accident or having been shut in a room, even the most highly-trained cat will deviate from the paths of decency. Never altogether overlook a thing of this sort. Take the cat, gently, but firmly, to the place, and show her you are angry—cats are dreadfully frightened at a scolding—this will generally prevent a repetition of the offence. But if the[Pg 328] same thing should occur again, and there is no excuse of a closed room or a locked door, then corporeal punishment becomes necessary. But it must not be severe, or all remembrance of her crime will be lost in the pain of the correction. Cats are very delicate, and easily injured about the head. Carry her at once to the scene of her misdemeanour, and ask her if she sees it, then with a little bit of whalebone switch her several times across the fore-paws; or tips only of the ears, and turn her outside the front door. But in no case should correction partake of the nature of revenge.

Teach adult cats to maintain good hygiene. Sometimes, due to accidents or being accidentally locked in a room, even the best-trained cats might stray from acceptable behavior. Never completely ignore such incidents. Gently but firmly take the cat to the spot where it happened and show your displeasure—cats can be really frightened by being scolded—this usually stops the behavior from happening again. However, if the[Pg 328] same issue happens again and there’s no reason like a closed door, then some form of punishment may be necessary. But it shouldn’t be harsh, or she’ll forget her mistake in the pain of the punishment. Cats are quite delicate and can be easily hurt, especially around the head. Immediately take her back to where the incident occurred and ask if she understands the situation. Then, with a small flexible switch, lightly tap her several times on the front paws or just the tips of her ears, and gently set her outside. But in every case, the correction should not feel like revenge.

If the cat-fancier will attend to these simple rules, he will have cats that he will be proud of, and they will be proud of him.

If cat lovers follow these simple rules, they'll have cats to be proud of, and their cats will feel the same way about them.

 

 


CHAPTER V.

CRUELTY TO CATS.

Cat cruelty.

I think it my duty to warn the reader that this is essentially a chapter of horrors; so that if her or his feelings do not tend in that direction, it may be skipped. If it pains any one to read it, it must be remembered that it was much more painful to me to write it; and only the hope of enlisting the sympathy of the kind-hearted and benevolent in pussy’s favour could have induced me to do so. How far I have been successful, time will tell. Indeed, I believe the day is not far distant, when it will become the fashion, nay even a portion of our religion, to treat all animals, from the dog downwards, with kindness and consideration; and, when necessity determines life to be taken, to take it in the least cruel and most humane manner possible. A good and noble work has been begun by the Royal Society for Prevention[Pg 330] of Cruelty to Animals. All honour to it, and success to its organ, The Animal World. The field is indeed a wide one; and one can scarcely help feeling almost despairingly, as he looks abroad upon the world, and sees the vast amount of cruelty there is to suppress. But stone by stone old Rome was built; and as the good work advances, the labourers will increase, and success in the end is certain. As the case now stands, I think the assistance, of the pulpit by precept, and of the great and rich by example, is sadly wanted to support the cause. The efforts of the Society are at present more particularly directed to obtaining convictions against offenders for ill-treating, overloading, or torturing horses and donkeys; for improperly conveying and starving cattle, calves, pigs, and goats; for cruelties to birds, and for ill-using dogs and cats. Alas! poor pussy comes last and least. But, as the world advances in civilization, and becomes more humane, new laws will have to be framed, anent the great ocean of cruelty, the waves of which we see tumbling and[Pg 331] breaking around us every day, and making us apathetic, because of their very number and our own inability to oppose them.

I feel it's my duty to warn the reader that this chapter is basically about horrifying topics; so if you’re not up for that, feel free to skip it. If reading it causes anyone pain, remember that it was much more painful for me to write it; and only the hope of gaining the support of kind-hearted and caring people for the cause of cats inspired me to do so. Time will tell how successful I have been. In fact, I believe that we won't have to wait long before kindness and consideration towards all animals, from dogs to others, becomes common, maybe even part of our moral framework; and when life has to be taken, it should be done as gently and humanely as possible. The Royal Society for the Prevention[Pg 330] of Cruelty to Animals has started this important work. All credit to it, and best wishes to its publication, The Animal World. There’s definitely a lot of work to do; it’s hard not to feel a bit hopeless when you look around and see so much cruelty that needs addressing. But Rome wasn’t built in a day; as this important work continues, more people will join the effort, and in the end, we will succeed. Right now, I think we desperately need the support of leaders in the community and wealthy individuals to back the cause. The Society is mainly focused on securing convictions against those who mistreat, overload, or torture horses and donkeys; transport and starve cattle, calves, pigs, and goats; commit acts of cruelty against birds; and abuse dogs and cats. Sadly, poor cats are usually last on the list. However, as society becomes more civilized and humane, we will need to create new laws to address the immense issue of cruelty we see around us every day, which can make us feel apathetic because of its overwhelming scale and our own inability to challenge it.

Why should horses be for ever worked to death, or till death? Why should their labours and hardships be increased, with their increasing years and infirmities? We care for and love them when young and handsome; when they grow old we forget their former services, ill-treat and starve them, and finally thrash them into the knacker’s yard.

Why should horses be worked to death, or until they die? Why should their labor and hardships increase as they get older and weaker? We care for and love them when they are young and beautiful; when they grow old, we forget their past service, mistreat and starve them, and eventually beat them into the slaughterhouse.

Why should donkeys—those patient, much-enduring animals—be all their poor lives treated with such systematic brutality?

Why should donkeys—those patient, enduring animals—be treated with such constant cruelty throughout their lives?

Why should cattle of all sorts be driven to the markets, or conveyed by rail or steam-boat for long dreary journeys, without either food or water? Why should they be slaughtered with so little regard to their sufferings, when the sting of death could be so easily drawn, ere the fatal blow was struck?

Why should all kinds of cattle be taken to markets or transported by train or boat on long, exhausting trips without food or water? Why should they be killed with so little concern for their pain when the process of dying could be made much easier before the final blow is dealt?

Why should turkeys, fowls, geese, and ducks be carried to market, with feet tied, and hung over poles head downwards, or[Pg 332] huddled together in cramped baskets, and kept, sometimes, in such pain and suffering that death itself must be sweet relief?

Why should turkeys, chickens, geese, and ducks be taken to market with their feet tied, hung upside down over poles, or[Pg 332] crammed together in tight baskets, enduring so much pain and suffering that death must seem like a welcome relief?

Why should pigeons, and other smaller birds, be shot in so cowardly and inhumane a manner as is the fashion at matches in the present day? Cockfighting itself is much less cruel; for there each bird has a chance of life, and the wounded are slain.

Why should pigeons and other small birds be shot in such a cowardly and inhumane way as is common at matches today? Cockfighting is actually much less cruel; in that case, each bird has a chance to survive, and the wounded ones are killed.

For the numerous cruelties inflicted on fishes, we can hardly name a remedy yet; but has the reader ever thought of the agony which must be endured by the lobster and crab in being boiled alive?

For the many cruelties inflicted on fish, we can hardly suggest a remedy yet; but has the reader ever considered the pain that lobsters and crabs must experience when they are boiled alive?

All these outrages on animal life might be prevented or greatly ameliorated by just and proper laws. England, I trust, will be the first to take the lead in this matter; and, depend upon it, that nation’s arm will always be the strongest on the day of battle, that, in the time of peace, is employed in labours of love, and in the advancement of civilization and humanity.

All these abuses of animal life could be avoided or significantly reduced with fair and appropriate laws. I hope England will be the first to take the initiative on this issue; and rest assured, that nation's strength will always be greatest in battle when, during peacetime, it is dedicated to acts of kindness and the progress of civilization and humanity.

The Mohammedans are far before us in kindness to the lower animals. “Accursed[Pg 333] be he who spilleth blood,” is one of their sayings.

The Muslims are way ahead of us in their kindness toward animals. “Cursed be the one who spills blood,” is one of their sayings.

Now, the Hindoos, for instance, are a much older nation than we are. They were clothed, and in their right minds, thousands of years before we were out of pig-skin kilts and paint. We are trying to learn from theory what they have found out from long experience, and will no doubt arrive at the same conclusions after the loss of much valuable time. I know a gentleman who puts faith in no statement in the abstract, even if the speaker should be as old as Methuselah—which isn’t often the case—and as wise as Ahab, until he has carefully ground, as it were, the syllogism in his own mill, thoroughly sifted it, and microscopically examined it; then he looks surprised, smiles, and says, “By George, old Thingummy was right after all.” He can’t help it however; it is the result of a too liberal education. He is constantly grinding away at a proverb. Now, I think proverbs are the pith of a nation’s experience: the wisdom of a country is skimmed off, boiled, evaporated to dryness,[Pg 334] burned to get rid of organic impurities, and the residue washed and distilled, and the essential oil bottled—in a proverb. But my learned friend, on first hearing one, says, “Oh, nonsense! Can’t be.” The proverb haunts him, however, both by night and day, for perhaps a fortnight, perhaps longer, until it is properly thought out in all its bearings; then he believes it—not before. He would save much time by having a little more credulity; but he is getting wise, and if he lives long enough he will be very wise indeed, although the process may cost him his teeth—he is bald already.

Now, the Hindus, for example, are a much older civilization than we are. They were well-dressed and already thinking clearly thousands of years before we had moved on from crude animal skins and body paint. We're trying to learn from theories what they have discovered through extensive experience, and we'll probably reach the same conclusions after wasting a lot of valuable time. I know a guy who doesn't take any statement at face value, even if the speaker is as ancient as Methuselah—which isn’t common—and as wise as Ahab, until he has meticulously analyzed it in his own way, thoroughly sifted through it, and examined it closely; then he looks surprised, smiles, and says, “By George, old Thingummy was right after all.” He can't help it, though; it's the outcome of a too generous education. He is always dissecting proverbs. Now, I believe proverbs are the essence of a nation’s wisdom: the insights of a country are extracted, boiled down, evaporated, purified by burning away impurities, and distilled into their core meaning—in a proverb. But my scholarly friend, upon first hearing one, says, “Oh, nonsense! That can't be true.” The proverb stays with him, both day and night, for maybe two weeks, or even longer, until he has fully considered all its implications; then he believes it—not before. He would save a lot of time by being a bit more open-minded; but he is getting wiser, and if he lives long enough, he will be very wise indeed, although the process might cost him his teeth—he's already bald.

The Hindoos have, long ago, come to the conclusion that it is wrong to take life, and accordingly they don’t—barring that they murder their wives when it is required. I think they are right, although I myself draw the line at naval cockroaches; and the fact that they are disagreeable things to kill, may have something to do with my sparing them. Besides, a cockroach has so many relations, and these all come to his funeral, and insist on seeing him decently interred.[Pg 335] This ceremony they perform by tasting, tasting at him until nothing remains.

The Hindus have long concluded that it's wrong to take a life, so they generally don’t—except when they murder their wives when necessary. I think they have a point, although I personally draw the line at naval cockroaches; the fact that they’re unpleasant to kill might have something to do with my decision to spare them. Plus, a cockroach has so many relatives, and they all show up for his funeral, insisting on a proper burial. This ceremony involves tasting him until there’s nothing left.[Pg 335]

I was one day “counting my pieces” to my Indian washerman, on the deck of my cabin, when out from the bosom of a nightshirt dropped a nine-inch-long centipede in the full vigour of health and intellect, and began making the best of his way to the nearest shelter. Giving instant chase, and having the advantage in length of legs, if not in number, I should soon have run him down, had not the impudent Hindoo, at the very last moment, pulled me back by my frock-coat tails. Such an indignity to a British officer, on board a British man-o’-war, was hardly to be borne with impunity. I turned, and looking him full in the face in my most impressive manner—

I was one day “counting my pieces” to my Indian washerman on the deck of my cabin when a nine-inch-long centipede dropped out of my nightshirt, full of energy and quickness, and started heading for the nearest cover. I instantly chased after it, and since I had longer legs, I would have caught it quickly if the cheeky Indian hadn’t yanked me back by the tails of my frock coat just as I was about to grab it. Such an insult to a British officer on a British warship was hard to accept. I turned and looked him in the eye with my most serious expression—

“Sir,” said I, “are you aware that Britons never, never, NEVER—will—be—slaves?”

“Sir,” I said, “are you aware that British people never, never, NEVER—will—be—slaves?”

The dobee salaamed.

The dobee bowed.

“Then,” continued I, “what have you got to say, that I should not punch your head or kick your rascally shins, for conniving at the escape of yonder centipede[Pg 336] that has just gained his crevice, and is, even now, making faces at me with impunity?”

“Then,” I continued, “what do you have to say that would stop me from punching your head or kicking your dirty shins for helping that centipede[Pg 336] that just slipped away and is now making faces at me without any consequences?”

The dobee drew himself up.

The dobee straightened up.

“Sahib,” said he, “you can kickee my head, you can punchee my shin—all same. Allah is good, and the Koran say, ‘Thou shalt not kill.’”

“Sahib,” he said, “you can kick my head, you can punch my shin—all the same. Allah is good, and the Koran says, ‘You shall not kill.’”

Thou shalt not kill,” repeated I; “why, the man must have learned the ‘Shorter Catechism;’ he can’t be such a heathen after all.”

You shall not kill,” I repeated; “wow, this guy must have learned the ‘Shorter Catechism;’ he can’t be such a savage after all.”

The dobee triumphed. I shook him by the hand, and he had my washing ever after.

The dobee won. I shook his hand, and from then on, he handled my laundry.

Enter my servant one day. I was living in a room on shore at Bombay.

Enter my servant one day. I was living in a room on the shore in Bombay.

“Man come for your little ones, Sahib,” said he.

“Man is here for your little ones, sir,” he said.

“Pandoo,” said I in a solemn voice, “what do you mean? I’m a respectable unmarried man, and never deserved any.”

“Pandoo,” I said seriously, “what do you mean? I’m a respectable unmarried man, and I don’t deserve any of this.”

The man, who entered behind Pandoo, carried a shovel, a brush, and a basket; and I soon discovered that my little ones meant all[Pg 337] the earwigs, bugs, centipedes, and crickets, of which I had a fair sprinkling of each sort; and he came, not to destroy, but actually to carry them away. He swept my room and bed moderately clean, and I afterwards found that he had taken the contents of the basket to the corner of a field, and emptied them among some straw. For no true Buddhist takes life; and when cows and horses get infirm, they are regularly superannuated, and sent to an asylum where they may end their days in peace.

The man who came in after Pandoo had a shovel, a brush, and a basket. I soon realized that my kids meant to collect all the earwigs, bugs, centipedes, and crickets that I had scattered around the place; he wasn’t there to destroy them but to take them away. He did a decent job of cleaning my room and bed, and later I found out that he had taken the creatures in the basket to a corner of a field and dumped them in some straw. No true Buddhist takes a life; when cows and horses become old, they are regularly retired and sent to a sanctuary where they can spend their last days in peace.

The scenes of cruelty to the lower animals, which one witnesses in the streets and lanes of our own country, are almost enough to make one doubt the goodness of God. In many cases, a person at all sensitive cannot refrain from interfering; and, unless he can show some proper authority for so doing, he will in most cases come off second-best, and do harm to the very victim he meant to protect. I have often constituted myself a sort of knight-errant to distressed quadrupeds; and I flatter myself I have at times done some good, either by going quietly up[Pg 338] to the perpetrator of the cruelty and trying to reason with him, or, with a pretended show of authority, demanding his name and address. A man of this sort is always a coward, and usually “funks” at once. I once had my nose broken, though, in a row with a butcher about ill-treating a cow. That brought my knight-errantry to a bloody close for a fortnight; but, thanks to good surgery, the organ is none the worse.

The scenes of cruelty towards animals that you see on the streets of our country can really make you question the goodness of God. In many situations, a sensitive person can't help but step in; however, unless they have some proper authority, they often end up worse off and can even harm the very animal they intended to help. I’ve often taken it upon myself to be a kind of knight for distressed animals, and I like to think I've done some good by either quietly approaching the person causing the harm and trying to talk to them, or by pretending to have some authority and asking for their name and address. Someone like that is always a coward and usually backs down right away. I did have my nose broken once during a confrontation with a butcher over the mistreatment of a cow. That ended my knightly adventures for a couple of weeks, but thanks to good medical care, my nose is just fine.

Last February, while walking in a lane in the neighbourhood of a rural village, I met a fellow—certainly the most brutal lout ever I saw—driving, or rather pushing along, two unhappy sheep. The creatures had walked a very long distance, and appeared completely exhausted; for the wind was very high, and the cold rain and sleet were beating in their faces, and stupifying them. Besides, the scoundrel had been striking them with a strong black-thorn cane; and, as he dared not touch them about the body, for fear of injuring the appearance of the mutton,—for mutton they[Pg 339] soon would be,—it was across the forehead and nose he hit them, so the blood was trickling down in streams, and as they shook their heads with pain, their pretty fleeces were all besmeared. Oh, the amount of misery depicted in their poor patient eyes! The very dogs seemed ashamed of their master’s conduct.

Last February, while walking down a path in a rural village, I came across a guy—definitely the most brutal jerk I've ever seen—pushing along two miserable sheep. The animals had walked a really long way and looked completely wiped out; the wind was howling, and the cold rain and sleet were hitting them in the face, leaving them dazed. On top of that, the jerk had been beating them with a hefty black-thorn cane; since he was too chicken to hit them anywhere else for fear of ruining the meat—that’s what they would soon be—he targeted their foreheads and noses, so blood was flowing down in streams, and as they shook their heads in pain, their lovely fleece was all messed up. Oh, the level of suffering shown in their poor, patient eyes! Even the dogs seemed embarrassed by their owner's behavior.

“It’s to be killed, they are to be, at any rate,” said the fellow when I remonstrated with him on his conduct; “and, curse them,” he cried, “I’ll make them go.” And again the blows began to fall. The sheep moaned low, and I closed with my friend. A vicious tussle, and the stick flew over the hedge. Then the lout flew at me. He hit my fist a tremendous blow with his lower jaw, the result of which was, that he immediately took the world on his back, like old Atlas—he took the world on his back several times before he seemed tired of it. Then I gave him to understand, that by way of recompense for knocking him down, I should at once find a policeman to take him up, unless he immediately[Pg 340] accompanied me to a neighbouring killing-house, to get a butcher to slaughter the sheep. He reluctantly consented, and the sorrows of those two dumb creatures soon came to an end.

“It’s going to happen, that’s for sure,” the guy said when I confronted him about his actions. “And, damn them,” he shouted, “I’ll make it happen.” Again, the blows started landing. The sheep let out a low moan, and I grappled with my friend. It turned into a fierce scuffle, and the stick went flying over the hedge. Then the clumsy guy came at me. He slammed my fist with his jaw, which made him fall backward like Atlas carrying the world—he got up and took the world on his back a few times before he looked tired. I made it clear that for knocking him down, I would find a cop to arrest him unless he immediately[Pg 340] joined me at a nearby slaughterhouse to get a butcher to put the sheep down. He reluctantly agreed, and the suffering of those two voiceless creatures quickly came to an end.

About the commonest, if not the simplest form of cruelty to poor pussy, is that of neglecting to feed her regularly, and at the proper times. Many people are guilty of this who would not willingly do an unkind action; they err through ignorance, or want of thought. Pussy, they imagine, can easily pick up all she needs about the floor. There could hardly be a greater mistake, or one more fatal to pussy’s existence as a pet. For the mere fact of her having to look out for her own food will make her dishonest. Others starve their cats to make them catch mice; the very opposite is the case. It is your plump, well-fed, sleek grimalkins that are the best mousers; a starveling has not courage nor heart enough to kill a midge, let alone a mouse.

One of the most common, if not the simplest, forms of cruelty to our poor cats is neglecting to feed them regularly and on time. Many people are guilty of this who wouldn’t intentionally be unkind; they simply make a mistake out of ignorance or carelessness. They think cats can easily find everything they need on the floor. This is a huge misconception and one that can be fatal for a cat's well-being as a pet. The fact that she has to hunt for her own food will actually make her dishonest. Some people starve their cats to make them catch mice, but it’s actually the opposite that’s true. It’s the well-fed, healthy cats that are the best at catching mice; a starving cat won’t have the energy or motivation to catch even a fly, let alone a mouse.

Higher in the scale of cruelty is the only[Pg 341] too common practice of leaving pussy at home to shift for herself, when the family moves to the seaside or country, in holiday season. In some instances the cat has access to and from the house, by some private door of her own. In this case, she will generally manage to eke out a miserable existence, from the scraps she picks up on the dung-hill; or she will become a thief, and make raids on the pigeon-houses or rabbit-boxes of the neighbours. At all events she is usually successful in sustaining her life, until the return of the family. But it is very different with pussy, when she is entirely imprisoned in an empty house, without either food or water, save perhaps an occasional mouse which chance may throw in her way.

Higher on the cruelty scale is the all-too-common practice of leaving a cat at home to fend for itself when the family heads to the seaside or countryside for the holidays. In some cases, the cat has access in and out of the house through a private door. In this situation, she typically manages to scrape by with the scraps she finds in the garbage or becomes a thief, raiding neighbors' pigeon coops or rabbit enclosures. Either way, she usually manages to survive until the family returns. However, it's a completely different story for the cat when she is locked inside an empty house without food or water, save for the occasional mouse that luck might bring her.

I know of one unhappy cat that lived for three whole weeks, on dry oat-meal alone.

I know of one unhappy cat that lived for three whole weeks on just dry oatmeal.

Another instance I can just recall to memory, and I am sorry to say, it is only one of many thousands that are happening every day. In this case, the family had gone to the country for a month, leaving Tabby—as[Pg 342] affectionate a little cat as ever lived, and the constant pet and playmate of the young children—shut up in the house. The building was a new one; there were consequently no mice; so, when the family at length returned, almost the first thing that met their gaze was poor Tabby, lying stark and stiff on the parlour hearth. She was a perfect skeleton, while the sardonic grin on her mouth showed how much she must have suffered. Such a death, in that lonely house, almost makes one’s flesh creep to think of.

Another memory comes to mind, and I regret to say it's just one of the countless occurrences happening every day. In this case, the family had gone to the countryside for a month, leaving Tabby—as[Pg 342] the most affectionate little cat ever—shut up in the house, where she was the constant pet and playmate of the young kids. The house was new, so there were no mice; thus, when the family finally returned, one of the first things they saw was poor Tabby, lying stiff and cold on the living room hearth. She was nothing but a skeleton, and the twisted grin on her face showed just how much she must have suffered. It's almost chilling to think about such a death in that lonely house.

A still more shocking case of cruelty recently came to my knowledge, which shows very forcibly how dreadful must be the sufferings of a starving cat, and how great the sin of those who leave them thus to perish. In one of the principal squares of the city of Edinburgh lives Mrs. Blank, a lady who can carry a high head, in the best society of which the Scottish metropolis can boast. She subscribes to all the charities, and feeds and clothes the poor daily; of course she is only “lending to the Lord,” and expects the principal returned on or after the Day of Judgment, with very[Pg 343] good interest. But that is neither here nor there. This lady had a cat, a very fine one too, on which she lavished an unusual amount of affection; and this affection was amply reciprocated, for pussy cared for no one in the house but her mistress. But in process of time, Jenny had the exceedingly bad taste to give birth to two pretty little kittens, and of course could not spare so much time as usual on her mistress’s lap. So, when the family had packed up, and were about to move into the country for the holiday, this lady gave the order to have “that horrid tiresome old cat and kittens shut up in the house,” until her return. Pussy was shut up accordingly. For a whole fortnight after, the people in the adjoining house were disturbed by melancholy cries, proceeding from the empty house, and, at last, unable to endure it any longer; the assistance of the police was called, and an entrance effected through a back window. A most horrible sight met their view. Poor pussy, thin even to emaciation, lay upon her bed in the corner, nursing the heads of her two kittens. She had eaten their bodies. Fancy[Pg 344] the sufferings that must have triumphed over her motherly love. Not only, however, had she eaten the kittens; but, rendered wild by the pangs of hunger, she had actually torn from her own thigh a large piece of flesh, and devoured it. It is a wonderful instance of the tenacity of life in cats, that this pussy, by careful nursing, made a good recovery. She took up house with her kind preservers, but never afterwards darkened the door of her cruel lady mistress. (See Note N, Addenda.)

A even more shocking case of cruelty recently came to my attention, highlighting just how awful the suffering of a starving cat must be, and how significant the sin is for those who leave them to perish like this. In one of the main squares of Edinburgh lives Mrs. Blank, a woman who holds her head high in the best circles of Scottish society. She contributes to all the charities and feeds and clothes the needy every day; of course, she believes she is only “lending to the Lord,” expecting to get the principal back on or after Judgment Day, with very good interest. But that’s beside the point. This woman had a cat, a very fine one too, on which she showered a lot of affection; and that affection was more than returned, as the feline cared for no one in the house but her owner. Over time, Jenny unfortunately had the bad luck to give birth to two adorable kittens, and naturally could not spend as much time as usual on her owner’s lap. So, when the family packed up to move to the countryside for the holiday, this lady ordered that “that horrid, tiresome old cat and kittens be locked up in the house” until she returned. The cat was locked in, as instructed. For a whole two weeks after, the neighbors were disturbed by sad cries coming from the empty house, and ultimately, unable to bear it any longer, they called in the police, who entered through a back window. A dreadful sight met their eyes. Poor kitty, painfully thin, lay on her bed in the corner, nursing the heads of her two kittens. She had eaten their bodies. Imagine the suffering that must have overcome her maternal love. But not only had she consumed the kittens; driven mad by hunger, she had actually torn a large piece of flesh from her own thigh and devoured it. It’s an amazing testament to the resilience of cats that this kitty, through careful nursing, made a good recovery. She moved in with her kind rescuers but never returned to her cruel owner again. (See Note N, Addenda.)

The sagacity of the cat is very often beautifully shown, in the means she takes to provide for herself food and shelter, in the absence of her owners. On these occasions pussy has often been known to become a “beggar from door to door.” For example, one morning early, a workman,—Mr. D. Stoddart, 92, Rose Street, Edinburgh,—on going to his work, observed a large black cat, trotting on before him, with tail erect and evidently on the best of terms with herself. Her good-humour, however, must have been simulated for the occasion, for she was very hungry indeed. Presently, she[Pg 345] stopped and looking earnestly in the man’s face, all her happiness seemed at once to forsake her and she mewed in a most pitiful manner. The good-hearted fellow at once opened his little napkin, and gave pussy part of his dinner. He was rather surprised next morning, to meet the puss exactly at the same time and place. In fact, the cat had adopted the working-man in a small way; and every morning regularly, for six months, it met him and gratefully received its breakfast. After this, it used to walk along with him for some distance, singing a little song to him the while, then took her departure. One day, however, pussy was missed, and it was a long time before anything else was heard of her. Some months after, in passing a gentleman’s gate, in a different part of the town, who should come out to bid him welcome, but his quondam friend and companion the cat. She was sleek and fat, and apparently happy as the sunshine. On making inquiries, it afterwards transpired that during the six months that pussy used to meet the working-man, the family were on the Continent.

The cleverness of the cat is often beautifully displayed in how she takes care of herself, finding food and shelter when her owners are away. During these times, she has been known to become a “beggar from door to door.” For instance, one early morning, a worker—Mr. D. Stoddart, 92, Rose Street, Edinburgh—on his way to work, noticed a large black cat trotting ahead of him with her tail held high, clearly in a good mood. However, her cheerfulness must have been for show because she was very hungry. Soon, she[Pg 345] stopped and looked earnestly into the man’s face, and all her happiness seemed to vanish as she mewed in a pitiful way. The kind-hearted man quickly opened his little napkin and gave her part of his lunch. He was a bit surprised the next morning to see the cat at the same time and place. The cat had essentially adopted the working man in a small way; every morning for six months, she met him and gratefully accepted her breakfast. After that, she would walk with him for a while, singing a little song, then take her leave. One day, though, the cat was missing, and it was a long time before anyone heard anything else about her. A few months later, while passing a gentleman’s gate in another part of town, who should come out to greet him but his old friend and companion, the cat. She looked sleek and fat, appearing as happy as could be. Upon asking around, it turned out that during the six months the cat met the working man, her family had been abroad.

[Pg 346]So common a thing has cruelty towards the feline race become, that one can hardly take a walk along the streets, or into the country, without seeing the mangled body of some poor puss, which has been stoned, beaten to death, or worried by dogs, more than likely in the open light of day. Indeed, a cat’s foes are so very numerous, that the only wonder is, how she escapes with her life so often. Instead of nine lives, it would I think, be more convenient for her to have ninety and nine. Most common among pussy’s numerous enemies may be mentioned,—

[Pg 346]It has become so common to be cruel to cats that you can hardly walk down the street or go out into the countryside without seeing the mangled body of some poor cat, which has been stoned, beaten to death, or attacked by dogs, often right out in the open. In fact, a cat has so many enemies that it’s a wonder she often escapes with her life. Instead of having nine lives, it would probably be better for her to have ninety-nine. Most common among the many threats to cats are—

Firstly, Gamekeepers. It must certainly be very annoying to keepers, to have cats prowling indiscriminately among the preserves, destroying eggs, birds, rabbits, and game of every description; but, after all, the amount of injury done must be comparatively small; whereas the cruelties practised on pussy by these men are at times quite revolting. To kill a cat by shooting her, may under some circumstances be deemed justifiable; but to wilfully lay traps for its destruction, in which the poor thing may linger for days,[Pg 347] before death ends its misery, is surely far from humane. Even after pussy is relieved from the trap, it is, in most cases, only to have her brains dashed out against the nearest tree, or to have her tail cut off, and her body left to die on the ground.

Firstly, Gamekeepers. It must be really frustrating for keepers to have cats wandering around the preserves, ruining eggs, birds, rabbits, and all kinds of game; but honestly, the damage they cause is probably pretty minor. On the other hand, the cruelty these men show towards cats is sometimes truly shocking. Shooting a cat might be justifiable in some situations, but deliberately setting traps for it to suffer in for days, [Pg 347] before it finally dies, is definitely not humane. Even when a cat is freed from a trap, it often just gets its head smashed against the nearest tree or has its tail cut off, leaving its body to die on the ground.

Secondly, Street-boys. Seldom can a boy see a cat anywhere, on the street or at large, without lifting the nearest stone to shy at her. And not boys only, but even grown-up men, have I heard boasting of their vile exploits in cat-killing.

Secondly, Street-boys. Rarely can a boy see a cat anywhere, on the street or roaming around, without picking up the nearest stone to throw at her. And it’s not just boys; I’ve even heard grown men bragging about their nasty deeds of killing cats.

Thirdly, Men with dogs. “The only way I like to see a cat,” said a gentleman to me the other day, “is with a dog at her heels;” and, I’m sorry to say, such sentiments are far from unfrequent. I know, indeed, it is an usual thing for young men to go out of an evening with dogs—generally bull-and-terriers—for the express purpose, of slipping them at the first cat that chance throws in their way. In these cases any hope of escaping with her life, is for the poor cat very small indeed, unless under very exceptional circumstances.

Thirdly, Men with dogs. “The only way I want to see a cat,” a guy told me the other day, “is with a dog chasing her;” and, unfortunately, those kinds of attitudes are pretty common. I know that it’s usually the case for young men to go out in the evening with dogs—usually bull-and-terriers—specifically to let them loose on the first cat they come across. In these situations, the poor cat has very little chance of escaping with her life, unless it’s under some really unusual circumstances.

[Pg 348]The other day, a friend of mine, who isn’t very soft-hearted, was taking a walk in the suburbs of Manchester, with a bull-terrier dog and a bitch of the same breed—both champion prize-takers, by the way. A cat was started, and pussy made directly for the door of her master’s house. Both the back and front doors were open. The cat darted in by the back, closely followed by the dog; while, as if to cut off all chance of escape, the bitch rushed round and entered by the front. The family were just at breakfast, when pussy sprang on the table, attacked simultaneously in front and rear by her canine foes. They literally tore her in two across the table, and before her owner’s eyes. Of course the damage done to the crockery, was something very considerable, and my friend had to pay five guineas to hush the matter up; and “Serve you right,” I remarked when he told me. (See Note O, Addenda.)

[Pg 348] The other day, a friend of mine, who's not really the sentimental type, was taking a walk in the suburbs of Manchester with a bull-terrier and a female of the same breed—both of them champions, by the way. A cat suddenly appeared, and it headed straight for the door of its owner's house. Both the back and front doors were wide open. The cat dashed in through the back, closely followed by the dog, while, to cut off any chance of escape, the female dog ran around and came in through the front. The family was just having breakfast when the cat jumped onto the table, being attacked from both sides by the dogs. They literally tore her in two across the table, right in front of her owner's eyes. Of course, the damage to the dishes was pretty significant, and my friend had to pay five guineas to settle the situation; and “Serves you right,” I said when he told me. (See Note O, Addenda.)

And fourthly, Cat-skin Collectors. In nearly every large town in the kingdom, there actually exist parties who make a living by[Pg 349] buying cats for the sake of their hides. They of course have to pay a pretty large price for a good skin; and this in its turn gives rise to another branch of industry, namely, cat-hunting. The cat-hunter is lower in the social scale, and much more cruel and hardened, than even the bird-catcher. The occupation seems to be thoroughly demoralizing; and its followers live in the most squalid dens and infamous purlieus of the city, leading an idle, dissipated life; and, if not dead of disease before the age of twenty-five, it is because a grateful country has provided them with board and lodging free, at stony Portland or muddy Chatham.

And fourth, Cat-skin Collectors. In almost every large town in the kingdom, there are actually people making a living by[Pg 349] buying cats for their skins. They have to pay a pretty high price for a good hide, which leads to another branch of industry: cat-hunting. Cat-hunters are lower on the social ladder and much more cruel and hardened than even bird-catchers. This work seems to be completely demoralizing; those who pursue it live in the most run-down and notorious parts of the city, leading idle, wasteful lives. If they don't die from disease before turning twenty-five, it's because a grateful country has provided them free food and shelter in the bleak Portland or dreary Chatham.

Chance took me, not long since, to a beautiful rural district in one of the southern counties of Ireland. Paddy Taffy, as he was called, from, as he himself expressed it, his “mother being a Welshman, and his father Irish,” was a farmer’s lad, and used to bring me the most beautiful butter-milk, and the freshest of duck eggs every morning, as certain as sunrise. He was just the right boy in the right place; he knew every[Pg 350] rock, and bog, and corrie in the parish, besides all the most frequented rabbit hills, and the pools where the fish were never shy. He was always catering for fun for me, and was never so happy as when he had found me a new pleasure. Well, one day, Paddy Taffy comes to me with the eggs and butter-milk as usual; and, grinning like a grampus, “Augh! sir,” says he, “but it’s the raal bit of fun yer honour will be having this blessed morning, if you’ll only be after coming to the river with Taffy.”

Not long ago, chance brought me to a beautiful rural area in one of the southern counties of Ireland. Paddy Taffy, as he was known, explained that he got his name because his “mother was Welsh and his father was Irish.” He was a farmer's boy who delivered the most delicious buttermilk and the freshest duck eggs to me every morning, as reliable as sunrise. He was the perfect kid for the job; he knew every rock, bog, and hollow in the parish, along with all the popular rabbit hills and the spots where the fish were always biting. He was always looking for ways to have fun with me and was happiest when he found me something new to enjoy. So, one day, Paddy Taffy came to me with the usual eggs and buttermilk, grinning like a big fish, and said, “Oh, sir, you’re in for a real treat this wonderful morning, if you’ll just come to the river with Taffy.”

“And I will that, Paddy,” says I; for I had nothing better to do.

“And I will do that, Paddy,” I said; because I had nothing better to do.

“I’ll go home first though,” says he, “and then meet you at the side of the strame.”

“I’ll go home first,” he says, “and then meet you by the side of the stream.”

A walk of two miles over the hills took me to the place of appointment. I forgot to say, that Paddy was never unaccompanied by two dogs, one a very decent well-bred water spaniel, the other a funny-looking frolicsome imp of a colley. On this day, when I met him, he had the dogs as usual, and moreover, what in all the world should he be carrying under his arm, but[Pg 351] a butter-tub. Before I had time to inquire the use of the singular utensil—singular under the circumstances,—

A two-mile walk over the hills brought me to our meeting spot. I forgot to mention that Paddy was never without his two dogs: one was a well-mannered water spaniel, and the other was a quirky, playful colley. On the day I ran into him, he had both dogs with him as usual, and surprisingly, he was carrying a butter tub under his arm. Before I could ask about the odd item—odd given the situation—

“It’s meself,” says Paddy, “that’s glad you’ve come, and by the same token, yonder come the boys with the cat.”

“It’s me,” says Paddy, “I’m glad you’ve come, and at the same time, here come the guys with the cat.”

On looking round, sure enough, there were three more boys—of course “boys” is a mere figure of speech, they were all, including Paddy himself, grown-up men—with three more dogs, one of which, a large white-and-black Newfoundland, carried a basket in his teeth. Suspecting that some scene of mischief or cruelty was to be enacted, I asked Paddy to tell me, right straight away, what the game was to be. “Sure your honour,” said he, “it’s only this:—we put the cat in the tub, and float her down the strame, and send the dogs ahint her.”

As I looked around, I noticed three more guys—“guys” is just a saying, they were all, including Paddy himself, grown men—along with three more dogs, one of which, a big white-and-black Newfoundland, was carrying a basket in its mouth. Suspecting that some kind of mischief or cruelty was about to unfold, I asked Paddy to tell me, right away, what was going on. “Sure, your honor,” he said, “it’s just this: we put the cat in the tub, float her down the stream, and send the dogs after her.”

It was in vain that I tried to persuade Paddy to give up a scheme which seemed to me little short of diabolical; for I fully expected to see poor pussy torn limb from limb in the water. Paddy’s reasoning was something after the following fashion:—

It was pointless for me to try to convince Paddy to abandon a plan that I thought was downright evil; I fully expected to see the poor cat torn to pieces in the water. Paddy's reasoning went something like this:—

[Pg 352]“If it’s the dogs you’re afraid of, sir, sure enough they’ll deserve all they’ll get, and more; if it’s the cat, then you needn’t be afraid at all, she’s been three times at it before. Och! she’s the raal taring blood-and-wounding captain of the butter-boat; besides, she has kittens at home, and that makes her the devil himself, sure. Moreover, sir,”—here he lowered his voice; “the boys is ugly boys, and they’ve ugly bits of timber below their flippers, and they wouldn’t let us spoil the sport for the dear life itself.”

[Pg 352]“If you’re scared of the dogs, sir, they’ll definitely get what’s coming to them, and then some; if it’s the cat you’re worried about, you don’t need to be scared at all, she’s been through this three times before. Oh! she’s the real fierce captain of the butter-boat; plus, she has kittens at home, which makes her extremely dangerous, no doubt. Also, sir,”—here he lowered his voice; “the boys are rough kids, and they have some nasty weapons with them, and they wouldn’t let us ruin the fun for anything.”

So, making a virtue of necessity, I stopped to see the fun and fair play.

So, making the best of a situation, I paused to enjoy the fun and fairness.

The river here was broad, and still, and deep. The basket was taken from the Newfoundland, and all the dogs were led out of sight behind an adjoining hillock. Then the cat—a wild-looking tortoise-shell—was taken out, placed in the tub, and the tub shoved well off into the stream. Away went puss with the current, whirling round and round in her awkward boat, and looking anything but happy, for she evidently knew[Pg 353] all about it. Then a shout from the boys; and down rushed the dogs helter-skelter, taking the water in grand style, the spaniel first, the Newfoundland following, springing right on top of the foremost dog, and sinking him by way of a lark. Up they all swam to the tub, which was still whirling slowly down stream; but puss was all ready, and stood by cleverly to repel boarders, evidently determined to sell her nine lives dearly. The spaniel was the first to place a paw on the tub; and his nose was at once laid open in consequence. The colley followed suit, and sung small immediately after. The other dogs had no better success; for each in his turn, and sometimes two at a time, were wounded, and had to haul off and lie too. Tableaux: four defeated curs, paddling harmlessly round the tub, barking futilely; puss erect and frizzly, with one paw impressively uplifted, growling defiance at the lot. All this time, the big Newfoundland had been swimming about, taking apparently no notice of the unequal contest. Now, however, he[Pg 354] seemed to think the state of affairs justified his interference, in order to uphold the prestige of the canine race. Poor dog, he at least had no intention of killing the cat; but only thought of hauling her, tub and all, safely in shore. With this kind intention, and in that thoroughly business-like manner only to be seen in dogs of his class, he paddled directly up to the vessel, and seizing it by the rim almost lifted it out of the water, as he put about with tail hard a-port to swim to land. Sharp and condign was the punishment Captain Puss administered to that dog’s nose, for his unasked-for aid. Nelson dropped the tub like a red-hot shot; and with a howl of injured innocence, wheeled round and set out for land in disgust. But puss had no idea of letting him off like this; for the vessel, rather leaky at the best, had been filling for some time and was fast settling down; and pussy saw at a glance it must be abandoned. Then what better refuge, than to make a life-boat of that Newfoundland’s head and shoulders? They just seemed cut out for it, so she[Pg 355] didn’t think twice about it, but at once made the spring. If poor Nelson swam quick before, he now seemed to cleave the water like a new-born steam-boat. Pussy, however, had no intention of letting him land with her, being doubtful as to the consequences; accordingly, when only a few feet more of water had to be passed, with one good parting kick, she sprang nimbly to bank, and made off for the woods as fast as four legs could carry her. The dogs all looked very foolish; and presently, like true Paddies, they all fell foul of each other, and fought in the water and out of the water, to their heart’s content. (See Note P, Addenda.) On the whole, I think pussy had the best of it.

The river here was wide, calm, and deep. They took the basket from the Newfoundland, and all the dogs were led out of sight behind a nearby hill. Then the cat—a wild-looking tortoiseshell—was taken out, placed in the tub, and the tub was pushed out into the stream. Away went the cat with the current, spinning around in her awkward boat, looking anything but happy because she clearly understood what was happening[Pg 353]. Then a shout from the boys; and down rushed the dogs in a frenzy, diving into the water in style, with the spaniel leading and the Newfoundland following, jumping right on top of the first dog and pushing him down as a joke. They all swam up to the tub, which was still swirling slowly downstream; but the cat was ready, standing by to fend off boarders, clearly determined to protect her nine lives fiercely. The spaniel was the first to place a paw on the tub, and his nose was immediately scratched as a result. The collie copied him and yelped right after. The other dogs fared no better; one by one, and sometimes two at once, they were injured and had to back off. Tableaux: four defeated mutts, splashing harmlessly around the tub, barking aimlessly; the cat standing tall and fluffed up, one paw raised dramatically, growling defiantly at them. All this time, the big Newfoundland had been swimming around, seemingly ignoring the unfair fight. Now, though, he thought the situation warranted his intervention to uphold the honor of the dog breed. Poor dog, he didn’t mean to harm the cat; he only wanted to bring her, tub and all, safely ashore. With this good intention, and the serious demeanor only seen in dogs like him, he paddled directly to the tub, and grabbing it by the edge, nearly lifted it out of the water as he turned with his tail wagging to swim to land. The sharp and deserved punishment Captain Puss delivered to the dog’s nose for his unsolicited help was swift. Nelson dropped the tub like it was burning hot and, with a howl of pretend innocence, turned around and swam back to shore in disgust. But the cat had no intention of letting him off that easily; the tub, rather leaky at best, had been filling up for a while and was quickly sinking, and she realized at once it had to be abandoned. So what better escape than to use the Newfoundland's head and shoulders as a lifeboat? They seemed perfect for it, so she[Pg 355] didn’t hesitate and jumped right over. If poor Nelson swam quickly before, he now seemed to slice through the water like a brand new steamship. However, the cat had no intention of letting him reach the shore with her, as she was unsure what the consequences would be; so when there were only a few more feet to go, with one good kick, she nimbly leaped to the bank and took off for the woods as fast as her legs could carry her. The dogs all looked pretty silly; and soon, like true Paddies, they started squabbling among themselves, splashing each other in and out of the water to their hearts' content. (See Note P, Addenda.) Overall, I think the cat came out on top.

 

 


CHAPTER VI.

PARLIAMENTARY PROTECTION FOR THE DOMESTIC CAT.

PARLIAMENTARY PROTECTION FOR THE DOMESTIC CAT.

Now, after reading the chapter on cruelty to cats, surely every honest man and kind-hearted lady in the land will agree with me in thinking, that it is high time our Legislature should do something to put an end to the persecutions against, and to protect, our very useful pet pussy. Laws have been framed for the good of horses, dogs, and game; nay, even the very wild birds of the field have their friends in Parliament; but the poor cat is left out in the cold.

Now, after reading the chapter on cruelty to cats, I think every decent man and kind-hearted woman in the country will agree with me that it’s about time our lawmakers take action to stop the abuse and protect our helpful feline companions. Laws have been made for the benefit of horses, dogs, and game; even the wild birds in the fields have advocates in Parliament; yet the poor cat is left out in the cold.

In the columns of a paper called The Bazaar, a few months ago, a correspondence was kept up for several weeks on the subject of “Cat Extermination.” No doubt it is highly annoying to have one’s beautiful flower-beds torn up, and one’s pet pigeons and rabbits worried at night by prowling[Pg 357] cats. But the methods proposed for their destruction were in some cases diabolical. Poison of all sorts was to be freely used, and sponges dipped in tallow—worse torture than giving a shark a red-hot brick, or a lady’s steel crinoline fastened up with hide—and wire fences, so constructed that the cat might find easy access into a garden, but no egress, and so be torn to pieces with dogs,

In the pages of a publication called The Bazaar, a few months ago, a conversation went on for several weeks about "Cat Extermination." It’s certainly frustrating to have your lovely flower beds destroyed and your pet pigeons and rabbits disturbed at night by wandering[Pg 357] cats. However, the methods suggested for getting rid of them were in some cases downright cruel. Various poisons were to be used freely, and sponges soaked in tallow—worse than subjecting a shark to a red-hot brick, or a lady’s steel crinoline being fastened with hide—and wire fences were designed so that the cat could easily get into a garden, but not out, leading to it being torn apart by dogs.

“With mair o’ horrible and awfu’,
Which e’en to name would be unlawfu’.”

“With more of horrible and awful,
Which would be illegal to even mention.

But I would fain enlist even these men on pussy’s side; not certainly for sake of the cats, but for their own comfort; for no good—unless the gratification of a feeling of revenge—can accrue from attempts at extermination, and only from legislation can they hope to get redress. You may exterminate the Modoc Indians, extirpate the Maories, and annihilate the Ashantees, but you’ll have no chance against the cats. Now, I should ask, nay, claim, parliamentary protection for our domestic cat, for many reasons. Here I shall only mention one or two. First then, because she is a pet—a pet in many a[Pg 358] nobleman’s and gentleman’s family, and still more so at many a poor man’s fireside, who cannot afford to maintain any larger domestic animal; and because pussy is so beautiful, so gentle, loving, and kind, and capable of such high training; because she is so affectionate towards her owner; and because she loves the children so. She is, indeed, the pet par excellence of babyhood and infancy. Secondly, because we are Christians, or live in a Christian land; and because the cruelties that are practised every day in our midst, against this defenceless creature are harrowing to all our feelings, and a disgrace to a civilized country.

But I would really like to get these men on the side of cats; not necessarily for the sake of the cats, but for their own comfort. Because no good—aside from satisfying a desire for revenge—can come from trying to wipe them out, and only through legislation can they hope for any justice. You can eliminate the Modoc Indians, wipe out the Maoris, and destroy the Ashantees, but you won’t stand a chance against the cats. Now, I would ask, even demand, parliamentary protection for our domestic cat, for many reasons. Here, I'll mention just a couple. First, because she is a pet—a pet in the families of many noblemen and gentlemen, and even more so in the homes of many poor people who can’t afford to keep any larger domestic animals; and because she is so beautiful, so gentle, loving, and kind, with the ability to be highly trained; because she is so affectionate towards her owner; and because she loves the children so. She really is the ultimate pet for babies and young children. Secondly, because we are Christians, or live in a Christian country; and because the cruelty that happens every day around us against this defenseless creature is distressing to all our feelings, and a shame for a civilized nation.

Thirdly, and lastly at present, because the cat is an animal of great utility.

Thirdly, and finally right now, because the cat is a highly useful animal.

Putting aside, then, all sentimentality, let us look at the matter in a plain business point of view.

Putting aside all sentimentality, let's look at this from a straightforward business perspective.

We ought to do all in our power for the protection and improvement, of every domesticated animal under our care, whether kept for use or ornament; no one will think of denying that. But, there is no creature[Pg 359] under the sun which is so systematically ill-used, and carelessly treated as pussy. The cause is easily understood: we do not thoroughly appreciate the good the cat does, and, even if we do, being all naturally selfish, we like to have and hold all we can, for the least possible outlay and trouble. Thus, pussy’s services are poorly repaid and ungratefully received, because she is so patient and uncomplaining. If horses or other cattle were treated in like manner, they would quickly deteriorate in value; but the cat, looked upon as a mere vermin-killer, is different, her presence alone, however skinny and lean, being generally enough to frighten away those pests, rats and mice. Indeed, very few of us, I fear, fully appreciate the amount of real good done, or the large amount of valuable property saved annually—in a preventive way alone—by cats. More quickly than almost any other animal, do rats and mice multiply. Take the field-mouse for example (the mus leacopus or the mus sylvaticus), with the nests of which nearly every school-boy is familiar,—

We should do everything we can to protect and improve the lives of all domesticated animals in our care, whether they're kept for work or decoration; no one would argue against that. However, there is no creature[Pg 359] on this planet that is treated as poorly and carelessly as cats. The reason for this is clear: we don’t fully recognize the benefits that cats provide, and even when we do, our natural selfishness makes us want to have and keep as much as possible with the least effort and cost. As a result, a cat’s contributions are underappreciated and ungratefully received because she is so patient and never complains. If horses or other livestock were treated in the same way, their value would drop quickly; but the cat, seen merely as a pest controller, is different. Just her presence, no matter how thin and lean, is usually enough to scare away pests like rats and mice. In fact, I fear that very few of us genuinely acknowledge the significant good that cats do or the considerable amount of valuable property they help protect each year—just by being there. Rats and mice reproduce faster than almost any other animal. Take the field mouse for example (the mus leacopus or the mus sylvaticus), which nearly every schoolboy knows through its nests,—

[Pg 360] “Those wee bit heaps o’ straw and stubble,
That cost them mony a weary nibble.”

[Pg 360] "Those little piles of straw and stubble,
"That cost them many exhausting efforts."

These creatures breed at least four or five times a year; and you seldom find fewer than seven little baby-mice in each nest. The mischief these creatures sometimes work in grass fields, and in fields of newly-sown grain, is almost incalculable. Whole acres have been known to be destroyed in a single night. Cats are the greatest enemies these creatures have: they destroy them young and old, by the dozen, for mere sport—they seldom care to eat them.

These creatures breed at least four or five times a year, and you rarely find fewer than seven baby mice in each nest. The damage these creatures can cause in grass fields and in newly sown grain fields is almost unimaginable. Whole acres have been known to be destroyed overnight. Cats are their biggest enemies; they kill them young and old, by the dozen, just for fun—they usually don’t even bother to eat them.

In-doors, again, what would the baker, the miller, the draper, the grocer, or even the bookseller do, without his cat?

In the house, again, what would the baker, the miller, the draper, the grocer, or even the bookseller do without their cat?

There is no prettier ornament, I think, a shop-window can have, than an honest-looking sleek Tom tabby.

There’s no better decoration, I think, that a shop window can have than a sleek, trustworthy-looking tabby cat.

“Yes, sir,” a hosier said to me the other day; “I do like my cat. I shan’t tell you, because you could not be expected to believe it, not being a business man, how much money I lost two years ago in one winter, by rats alone. I tried everything, traps and[Pg 361] poison, in vain, and was forced to fall back on pussy after all.”

“Yes, sir,” a clothing retailer told me the other day; “I really like my cat. I won’t say how much money I lost two years ago in one winter, just from rats alone, because you probably wouldn’t believe it, not being in business. I tried everything—traps and[Pg 361] poison—without any success, and eventually had to rely on my cat after all.”

A Scotch miller, plagued with rats, and hearing that music would frighten them away, hired a couple of Highland bag-pipers to play in the mill for two whole nights. (See Note Q, Addenda.)

A Scottish miller, troubled by rats, heard that music would scare them off, so he hired a couple of Highland bagpipers to play in the mill for two entire nights. (See Note Q, Addenda.)

“Of course,” he said, “the lads and lasses gathered from every corner, and it cost me oceans o’ whisky; but those rats kent good music, I verily believe they danced to it. So, failing that, I got twa kittens; and three weeks after, I hadn’t a rat about the place.”

“Of course,” he said, “the guys and girls came together from every corner, and it cost me a ton of whisky; but those pests knew good music, I really believe they danced to it. So, in the end, I got two kittens; and three weeks later, I didn’t have a rat anywhere around.”

But looking at the matter statistically: it is the very lowest average to say that every cat in this country does away with twenty mice or rats per annum; and, also, on the lowest average, each mouse or rat will destroy one pound’s worth of property a year. Well, there are, in the British Islands, over 4,000,000 cats; that, multiplied by 20, gives an annual saving of £80,000,000 worth of property; and those cats do not take £4,000,000 to keep them alive, not more—at any rate.

But looking at the numbers: it’s a safe bet to say that every cat in this country kills about twenty mice or rats each year; and, at the very least, each mouse or rat will damage around one pound’s worth of property annually. Well, there are over 4,000,000 cats in the British Isles, and if you multiply that by 20, it totals an annual savings of £80,000,000 in property. Plus, keeping those cats costs less than £4,000,000 a year, definitely no more than that.

[Pg 362]Surely, then, so useful a friend to man ought to be protected by law. Until, however, the Legislature deems it fit to do something for her, I think it behoves the public in general, and owners of pets and cat-fanciers in particular, to do everything they can to check cruelty to cats, and try to make her life a more comfortable and endurable one. Pussy is very easily kept, and I would, in the name of common humanity, earnestly beseech my readers to try the effect of kindness and regular feeding on the cats they may own, and see how soon it will amply repay them.

[Pg 362]Surely, a friend as useful as cats should be protected by law. However, until the Legislature decides to take action for them, I believe it's important for the public, especially pet owners and cat lovers, to do everything they can to prevent cruelty to cats and make their lives more comfortable and bearable. Cats are easy to care for, and I urge my readers, out of basic humanity, to try showing kindness and providing regular food to their cats, and see how quickly it pays off.

Cat shows ought to receive more encouragement than they do at present. Nothing can be better calculated both to foster a love for these beautiful creatures, and increase and perfect the different breeds, than those interesting exhibitions. At present, only a very few of our leading aristocracy, and gentry patronize cat shows. But they are every day becoming more and more popular. Birmingham has emulated the Crystal Palace, and Edinburgh rivals both; and, before very long,[Pg 363] I hope to see every town, in the United Kingdom holding its annual show of cats.

Cat shows should get more support than they currently do. Nothing is better at encouraging a love for these beautiful animals and improving the various breeds than these engaging events. Right now, only a small number of our top aristocrats and gentry attend cat shows. However, they are becoming increasingly popular. Birmingham has followed the example of the Crystal Palace, and Edinburgh competes with both; and, before long, [Pg 363] I hope to see every town in the United Kingdom hosting its own annual cat show.

Now, every one I have spoken to on the subject, admits that something ought to be done, by the Legislature, for the protection of the domestic cat. The difficulty seems to be where to begin, and what sort of laws to frame. Begin, I say, by putting “a stout heart to a stay brae” (stiff hill), and we are sure to do some good.

Now, everyone I’ve talked to about this agrees that the Legislature should take action to protect domestic cats. The challenge seems to be figuring out where to start and what kind of laws to create. I say we should muster our courage and take a stand, and we're bound to make some progress.

The following hints are merely meant to be suggestive, and by no means of a ne plus ultra character. Indeed, I should feel much obliged to my readers, if they would kindly forward to me, their views on this subject.

The following hints are just suggestions and definitely not the final word on the matter. In fact, I would really appreciate it if my readers would share their thoughts on this topic with me.

The law for the destruction of worthless dogs, found straying and begging in the streets, although at first blush it appeared a cruel one, was really both humane and kind to the whole canine race. There were too many useless curs without owners; and there are also Arab cats as well as Arab dogs—thousands on thousands, who never had a home and never will, preferring a nomadic life, because they never knew a better. How[Pg 364] can we get rid of this surplus feline population? I would introduce a cat licence. This licence, of course, should cost a mere nominal sum, what indeed even the poorest man who was able to afford food for a cat, could easily pay. The licences should be of two kinds, namely:—one for mere utility cats, and the other for valuable cats, household pets, etc. The first to cost one shilling and threepence, the other two shillings. A cat’s collar to be presented to the owner on payment of the fee; the collar stamped and numbered. The shilling licence collar to be dark; the other of coloured material. In the event of a cat being wantonly killed, a fine to be inflicted, of not more than £5 for the first class, and £10 for the second class of licence. This would have a salutary effect in checking the present trade of cat-skin hunting.

The law for getting rid of stray dogs that wander and beg on the streets may initially seem harsh, but it’s actually both compassionate and considerate for all dogs. There are just too many unwanted dogs without owners; and the same goes for cats—there are thousands of feral cats that have never had a home and likely never will, choosing a wandering lifestyle because they don’t know anything better. How[Pg 364] do we manage this excess cat population? I would propose a cat license. This license should be very affordable, something even the poorest person who can feed a cat could manage. There would be two types of licenses: one for regular utility cats and the other for valuable pets. The first would cost one shilling and threepence, and the second two shillings. Owners would receive a collar once they pay the fee; each collar would be stamped and numbered. The collar for the one shilling license would be dark, while the other would be colorful. If a cat is killed without reason, a fine would be imposed—not more than £5 for the first class and £10 for the second class. This would help reduce the current market for cat-skin hunting.

A place would be required in every town, or district, where all cats found straying without a collar could be taken, and if not claimed within three or four days, to be either sold, given away, or destroyed. Cats[Pg 365] found doing damage to gardens, poultry, rabbit warrens, or pigeon lofts, to be captured if possible, and the owners made to pay damages. All cases of cruelty to cats to be punished by fines, etc.

Every town or district should have a designated place where all stray cats without collars can be taken. If they’re not claimed within three or four days, they can be sold, given away, or euthanized. Cats[Pg 365] causing damage to gardens, poultry, rabbit pens, or pigeon coops should be caught if possible, and their owners should be responsible for damages. Any incidents of cruelty towards cats will be penalized with fines and other consequences.

Starving cats to be penal. I should have an inspector to visit every house once or twice a year, and see that the cats were in good condition. The revenue from this tax would be over £200,000 a year. I recommend it to the attention of Mr. Lowe.

Starving cats should be punished. I think we need an inspector to check every home once or twice a year to ensure the cats are healthy. The tax revenue from this could exceed £200,000 a year. I suggest this to Mr. Lowe's attention.

These are only a few crude suggestions, which may be very much improved upon; one thing at least is certain, the law ought to protect the domestic cat.

These are just a few basic ideas, which can definitely be improved; one thing is for sure, the law should protect the domestic cat.

 

 


CHAPTER VII.

FELINE AILMENTS.

Cat Health Issues.

Of course, in one chapter—and that is all my available space—it will be impossible to notice all, or even the greater part, of the evils that feline flesh is heir to. I will endeavour, however, to lay down a few simple rules for those who wish to keep their cats in health, and for their treatment in the most common diseases.

Of course, in this chapter—and that’s all the space I have—it will be impossible to cover all, or even most, of the problems that cats can face. However, I will try to outline some basic guidelines for those who want to keep their cats healthy and how to deal with the most common illnesses.

Prevention is better than cure. I believe that is not an original remark; but it is nevertheless a very true one, as regards the ailments of the domestic cat, almost all of which may be kept at bay by even ordinary attention. We all have a duty to perform to the animals under us, even to animals of mere utility; and much more cheerfully ought that duty to be performed, if the creature is kept for the beauty that pleases our eye, or for the love it loves us with. So[Pg 367] long as your pet is in health, and happy and lively, you can easily forgive yourself for many little acts of neglect towards her; but when she falls ill, when she is writhing in pain, and looking in your face with eyes that implore your aid, then, indeed, I do not envy your feelings, if, coupled with your sorrow for her sufferings, you have the sad reflection that, many a time, you might have been better to her.

Prevention is better than a cure. I know that's not an original saying, but it’s still very true when it comes to the health of our domestic cats, most of which can stay healthy with just a bit of regular care. We all have a responsibility to the animals we care for, even those we keep for practical purposes; and we should feel even more compelled to fulfill that duty when the animal brings us joy or affection. So[Pg 367] long as your pet is healthy, happy, and lively, you can overlook a few minor lapses in care; but when she gets sick, when she’s in pain and looks at you with pleading eyes, then I truly don’t envy how you’ll feel if, alongside your sadness for her suffering, you also realize that there were many times you could have taken better care of her.

There is more room for improvement, in the breed and condition of the domestic cat, than in that of any other animal I know; and no creature so soon repays its master, for the care and attention he may bestow on it. Instead of the meagre-looking, small, short-haired, guilty thief, that used to fly and get up the chimney whenever it heard your footstep, you have a large, honest, plump pussy, with glossy fur and loving eye, that runs to meet you with a song, and jumps on your shoulder to have the pleasure of giving you the first caress—a thing of joy and beauty for——, well, for a matter of fifteen years at least. And these are the[Pg 368] sort of cats I wish to see throughout the length and breadth of the land. I like to see people fond of their cats. Some will tell you it is unmanly to love a cat. Fudge! Man’s manliness consists in doing, in a straightforward manner, whatsoever is natural and right, and not fearing the face of clay in the doing of it.

There’s more potential for improvement in the breed and condition of domestic cats than in any other animal I know; and no creature repays its owner so quickly for the care and attention given to it. Instead of the scrawny, small, short-haired, guilty thief that used to dart up the chimney at the sound of your footsteps, you now have a big, honest, plump cat with shiny fur and a loving gaze that rushes to greet you with a purr, jumping on your shoulder to enjoy giving you the first cuddle—a source of joy and beauty for, well, at least fifteen years. And these are the[Pg 368] kind of cats I want to see all over the country. I love seeing people who are fond of their cats. Some might say it’s unmanly to love a cat. Nonsense! A man's strength comes from doing what is natural and right in a straightforward way, without fearing what others might think when doing it.

“But,” said I, the other day at Birmingham, somewhat mischievously interrupting a sporting friend of mine, who was indulging in a long diatribe on the comparative merits of two bull-terriers, “But, have you seen the cats?”

“But,” I said the other day in Birmingham, playfully interrupting a friend of mine who was going on and on about the pros and cons of two bull-terriers, “But have you seen the cats?”

“Confound the cats!” he answered testily, and, after a pause, “D’ye know what I should like to do? Look, see. There are a hundred and twenty fox-terriers yonder; well, I’d just turn them into the cat show and close the doors.”

“Damn those cats!” he replied irritably, and after a moment he added, “You know what I’d like to do? Look over there. There are a hundred and twenty fox terriers; I’d just toss them into the cat show and shut the doors.”

“Well, at all events,” said I, “come and see them.” Arrived in the building, my friend walked along the rows of cages, peeping into each with an air of amusing perplexity. At last he stopped before a beautiful Persian, and,—

“Well, anyway,” I said, “come and check them out.” Once we got to the building, my friend walked along the rows of cages, looking into each one with a look of amusing confusion. Finally, he stopped in front of a beautiful Persian cat, and—

[Pg 369]“D—n it all,” said he—his language was not very choice—“these aren’t cats, Doctor—they are some foreign beasts.”

[Pg 369]“Damn it all,” he said—his language wasn’t very refined—“these aren’t cats, Doctor—they’re some kind of foreign animals.”

“Foreign only to bad treatment,” I said.

“Only unfamiliar with bad treatment,” I said.

The upshot of it was, that I had to buy him a kitten—one of great promise. He took it away in his pocket.

The bottom line was, I had to get him a kitten—one with a lot of potential. He stuffed it in his pocket.

“I’ll be good to it,” he said; “and when it’s big, if it’s game and all that, I’ll—look, see—I’ll give it a dozen rats every Sunday morning, hang me if I don’t.”

“I’ll take good care of it,” he said; “and when it’s grown up, if it's tough and all that, I’ll—look, see—I’ll give it a dozen rats every Sunday morning, I swear.”

He is a rough nut, my friend; but good at the kernel.

He's a tough guy, my friend; but really good at heart.

In order, then, to keep pussy in perfect health, pelage, and temper, and worthy of taking her place before the parlour fire, or on the drawing-room couch, we must attend to three things, viz., her food, her drink, and her housing.

To keep your cat in great health, appearance, and mood, making her suitable to sit by the fireplace or on the couch, we need to focus on three things: her food, her drink, and her housing.

Food.—I have no doubt that cats were originally admitted to the society of mankind, on account of their proclivities for killing rats and mice. We can have some clue to the seeming mystery of the veneration, in which cats were held in ancient Egypt, if we[Pg 370] remember the large stores of grain, etc., which its inhabitants were in the habit of laying up. No country in the world depended more, for its very existence as a nation, on its cereals than did Egypt. We can imagine, then, a time when cats were unknown even to the Egyptians, and a particular year, when the crops had nearly failed, when the grain was hoarded carefully, and when, with famine, came a plague of rats and mice, threatening death and annihilation to all in the land. We may easily fancy, the reign of terror and gloom that would ensue; and then we can understand the exuberance of joy, and general rejoicing on the introduction, by some Magi from a far country, of their new-found friend the cat. A nation saved by cats! Something of the kind must undoubtedly have occurred; and thus the stringent laws framed for pussy’s protection, and the love and regard, lavished on her by all classes of the people, may more easily be accounted for. We ourselves have always had cats, since the conquest by the Romans, and can neither fully appreciate[Pg 371] their value nor use; but think, reader, just for a moment, what the consequences would be, and how great the destruction of property by vermin, were cats to be suddenly exterminated. If then, only for the sake of making pussy more valuable as a vermin-killer, she ought to have regular and sufficient food. A cat ought to be fed at least twice a day. Let her have a dish to herself, put down to her, and removed when the meal is finished. Experience is the best teacher as regards the quantity of a cat’s food, and in quality let it be varied. Oatmeal porridge and milk, or white bread steeped in warm milk, to which a little sugar has been added, are both excellent breakfasts for puss; and for dinner she must have an allowance of flesh. Boiled lights are better for her than horse-meat, and occasionally let her have fish. Teach your cat to wait patiently till she is served—a spoiled cat is nearly as disagreeable as a spoiled child. If you want to have your cat nice and clean, treat her now and then to a square inch of fresh butter. It not only acts as a gentle laxative, but, the grease,[Pg 372] combining in her mouth with the alkalinity of her saliva, forms a kind of natural cat-soap, and you will see she will immediately commence washing herself, and become beautifully clean. (N.B.—If you wish to have a cat nicely done up for showing, touch her all over with a sponge dipped in fresh cream, when she licks herself the effect is wonderful.)

Food.—I have no doubt that cats were first welcomed into human society because they were great at catching rats and mice. We can get some insight into why cats were so revered in ancient Egypt if we[Pg 370] consider the large amounts of grain the people stored. No nation relied more heavily on its crops for survival than Egypt. Imagine a time when cats didn't exist, especially during a year when the harvest almost failed, and the grain was carefully guarded while a plague of rats and mice threatened to destroy everything. It’s easy to picture the fear and despair that would take over, and then we can understand the joy and celebration that followed when some wise men from a distant land brought them the new ally: the cat. A nation saved by cats! Something like that must have happened; this helps explain the strict laws protecting cats and the affection that all social classes showed them. We have had cats since the Roman conquest and can’t fully appreciate[Pg 371] their value or utility; but think about it for just a moment: what would happen if cats suddenly disappeared? The damage from pests would be immense. Therefore, even for the sake of increasing her value as a pest controller, a cat should receive regular and adequate meals. A cat should be fed at least twice a day. Give her a dish of her own, serve it to her, and take it away when she’s done. The best way to know how much food a cat needs is through experience; variety is key when it comes to quality. Oatmeal porridge and milk, or white bread soaked in warm milk with a bit of sugar, make great breakfasts for her. For dinner, she should have some meat. Boiled lights are better than horsemeat, and fish should be given occasionally. Teach your cat to wait patiently for her food—an overly pampered cat can be just as unpleasant as an indulged child. If you want your cat to be clean, treat her to a little bit of fresh butter now and then. It acts as a gentle laxative, and the grease,[Pg 372] mixing with her saliva, creates a kind of natural cat soap, prompting her to wash herself and become beautifully clean. (N.B.—If you want your cat to look great for a show, rub her all over with a sponge dipped in fresh cream; the results will be stunning.)

Remember that too much flesh-meat, especially liver,—which ought only to be given occasionally,—is very apt to induce a troublesome diarrhœa (looseness). Do not give your pet too many tit-bits at table; but whatever else you give her, never neglect to let her have her two regular meals.

Remember that too much meat, especially liver—which should only be given occasionally—can easily cause a bothersome diarrhea. Don't give your pet too many table scraps, but whatever else you provide, always make sure she has her two regular meals.

Never give a cat food in an unwashed dish.

Never give a cat food in an unwashed dish.

Drink. It will save you a great deal of trouble, if you have a proper dish for pussy’s drink; and let it stand constantly in the same corner of the room. It must be a double dish, that is, two saucers joined together, one for water and the other for milk; and remember, it must be carefully cleaned every morning, for a highly-bred cat[Pg 373] will not drink milk, if it is the least unsavoury, nor water unless it is pure and free from dust. It perhaps is not very generally known, that cats nearly always prefer pure water to milk, when they are really thirsty.

Feed your cat. It will save you a lot of hassle if you have a proper bowl for your cat's drink, and keep it in the same spot in the room. It should be a double bowl, meaning two connected dishes—one for water and the other for milk; and don’t forget to clean it thoroughly every morning because a well-bred cat[Pg 373] won't drink milk if it’s even slightly off, or water unless it’s clean and dust-free. You may not know this, but cats usually prefer fresh water over milk when they are really thirsty.

A great treat for pussy, when she is a little bit seedy—of a morning, perhaps, after having been on the spree all night, and the best of cats will go on the spree occasionally—is a saucer of nice creamy milk, made warm with water, and slightly sweetened with sugar. It sets her all to rights straight away, and you will not find her ungrateful for such kindness.

A great treat for a cat when she's feeling a bit rough—maybe in the morning after a night of partying, since even the best cats sometimes like to have a good time—is a saucer of nice creamy milk, warmed up a bit with water and lightly sweetened with sugar. It puts her right back on track, and she won't be ungrateful for such kindness.

Housing. It is not at all an uncommon practice, in some parts of the country, for people to turn their cats out at night, before they themselves retire to rest. They do so, they will tell you, to prevent pussy from misbehaving in the house. Now such a practice cannot be too severely condemned. First and foremost, no well-trained cat, unless under the most extreme circumstances, such as sudden illness, etc., will make any filth in the house where she resides; for, as I have said before,[Pg 374] there is no animal in the world more cleanly in its habits than the domestic cat. Secondly, the practice of turning pussy out of doors at night, is the very thing to engender filthy habits in her during the day. And lastly, people who treat their cats in this manner, are accountable, for all the weight of crime, that falls upon pussy’s shoulders. Badly-housed cats become vagrants and thieves, poor, starved-looking, beggarly brutes, and adepts at all mischief, besides being unhealthy, ugly, and filled with fleas. These are the cats that plunder pigeon lofts, steal chickens, tear up beautiful flower-beds, and murder valuable rabbits in cold blood. They—

Housing. It's not uncommon in some parts of the country for people to let their cats outside at night before they go to bed. They say they do this to prevent their cats from misbehaving indoors. However, this practice shouldn't be heavily criticized. First and foremost, a well-trained cat will not make a mess in their home unless something extreme happens, like sudden illness; as I've mentioned before,[Pg 374] no animal is cleaner in its habits than a domestic cat. Secondly, putting a cat outside at night actually encourages filthy habits during the day. Lastly, people who treat their cats this way are responsible for any trouble that their cats cause. Cats that are poorly housed become strays and thieves, looking pitiful and starving, skilled at causing mischief, and often unhealthy, unattractive, and infested with fleas. These are the cats that raid pigeon coops, steal chickens, ruin beautiful flowerbeds, and kill valuable rabbits without remorse. They—

“Sleep all day, and wake all night,
And keep the country round in fright.”

“Sleep all day and stay awake all night,
And keep everyone in the country afraid.

A cat that has been well fed and cared for by day, will seldom want to go out at night. If she does not feel sleepy, she will betake herself to the cellar, and have a little innocent flirtation with the mice or rats, or kill cock-roaches when everything else fails her.

A cat that has been well-fed and taken care of during the day will rarely want to go out at night. If she isn't feeling sleepy, she'll head to the cellar for a little harmless play with the mice or rats, or she'll catch cockroaches when nothing else interests her.

[Pg 375]Make your pussy’s bed on a couch or on the parlour sofa, or let her make it herself. Apropos of making beds: the other night I was lying on the sofa, prior to turning into bed—I had lowered the gas and admitted the moonlight—when Muffie entered, apparently in a great hurry to go to sleep. Seeing her master lying there, she placed her two forepaws on the sofa, and looking in my face,—

[Pg 375]Make your cat's bed on a couch or on the living room sofa, or let her make it herself. Speaking of making beds: the other night I was lying on the sofa, getting ready for bed—I had turned down the gas and let in the moonlight—when Muffie came in, seemingly in a rush to sleep. Seeing her owner lying there, she put her two front paws on the sofa and looked up at me,—

“Will you kindly get up out of that and let me lie down,” she said, speaking with her eyes.

“Could you please get out of that and let me lie down?” she said, communicating with her eyes.

“Not till I’m ready; I’ll see you hanged first,” replied I, speaking with mine.

“Not until I’m ready; I’d rather see you hanged first,” I replied, speaking with mine.

“Very well, then,” said pussy; and she went straight to the table, jumped up and pulled off the cloth, deliberately rolled herself in it, and went to sleep. She pulled down the ink along with it, and soiled the carpet, but that was a matter for me and my landlady to settle between us; puss did not care a rat.

“Alright, then,” said the cat; and she went right to the table, jumped up, yanked off the cloth, and wrapped herself in it, then went to sleep. She knocked down the ink with it and messed up the carpet, but that was something for my landlady and me to sort out; the cat couldn't care less.

Never turn your cat out at night unless she asks to go.

Never let your cat outside at night unless she wants to go out.

[Pg 376]Never shut her up in a room all night, but let her have free access to kitchen or attic; you will thus have a healthy, cleanly puss, and never be troubled with mice.

[Pg 376]Never lock her up in a room all night; instead, let her roam freely in the kitchen or attic. This way, you'll have a healthy, clean cat, and you won't have to deal with mice.

The simplest form of medicine for a cat, and one which either in town or country they should never want, is grass. It is an excellent anti-scorbutic, keeps pussy’s blood pure, and acts always as a gentle laxative, and at times as an emetic, according to the quantity taken, and of this pussy herself is the best judge. In the country, a cat can always find grass for herself, but in the town it ought to be given to her. People who are cat-fanciers, should never take a walk into the country, without culling a bunch of nice fresh grass for pussy. When you go home, the best place to keep it will be the cellar, or lumber-room, to which pussy has access, held fast by the ends between two flat stones or bricks, a bit of wetted flannel being placed beneath the upper stone to keep the grass fresh; and the cat will soon know where to go when she finds the need for it.

The simplest way to care for a cat, whether in the city or the countryside, is to provide her with grass. It’s a great source of vitamin C, helps keep her blood clean, and works as a gentle laxative; it can even induce vomiting if she eats too much, but she knows best how much to take. In the countryside, a cat can always find grass on her own, but in the city, you should make sure to offer it to her. Cat lovers shouldn’t go for a walk in the countryside without gathering a bunch of fresh grass for their cat. When you get home, the best place to store it is in a cellar or storage room where the cat can get to it, secured between two flat stones or bricks, with a piece of damp cloth under the top stone to keep the grass fresh. The cat will quickly learn where to go when she needs it.

[Pg 377]Although good and regular food, with proper attention, will generally succeed in keeping your cats healthy, still these animals have many troubles which call for medical aid. I give a very few of the commonest, with the treatment appropriate for each.

[Pg 377]While providing good, balanced meals and proper care usually helps keep your cats healthy, they can still face various issues that require medical attention. Here are a few of the most common problems, along with the appropriate treatments for each.

Diarrhœa. This, for obvious reasons, is a very troublesome complaint in a cat. It is generally induced by irregular feeding, or exposure to wet and cold. Fat meat will also bring it on, or too much liver. It very soon reduces the creature to a mere skeleton, and if not attended to, will end in dysentery and death. Begin the treatment by giving the little patient half a small teaspoonful of castor-oil. Give a still smaller dose about six hours after, to which two drops of laudanum or solution of muriate of morphiæ has been added. Afterwards give, three times a day, either a little chalk mixture, with half a drop of laudanum in each dose, or a teaspoonful of the following mixture:—

Diarrhea. This, for obvious reasons, is a very troublesome issue in a cat. It’s usually caused by irregular feeding or exposure to wet and cold conditions. Fatty meat can also trigger it, or too much liver. It can quickly reduce the animal to a mere skeleton, and if not addressed, it can lead to dysentery and death. Start treatment by giving the little patient half a small teaspoon of castor oil. Give a smaller dose about six hours later, adding two drops of laudanum or a solution of morphine salt. Afterwards, give three times a day either a little chalk mixture with half a drop of laudanum in each dose, or a teaspoon of the following mixture:—

℞   Vin. Ipecac.   ℨ j.
  Tinct. Kino   ℨ iij.
  Decoct. Hæmatox   ℥ iv.

[Pg 378]Give no flesh diet; you may give the cat fish, however, in small quantities, and arrowroot with bread and milk. A few drops of solution of lime may be added to each diet with advantage.

[Pg 378]Don't feed any meat; you can give the cat some fish, but only in small amounts, along with arrowroot mixed with bread and milk. It can also be helpful to add a few drops of lime solution to each meal.

In diarrhœa, and in all cases of severe illness, the cat should be turned into an empty room, with a little fire, a warm bed and a box of earth or sand.

In diarrhea, and in all cases of serious illness, the cat should be put in an empty room with a small fire, a warm bed, and a box of dirt or sand.

To give a cat medicine. Roll her all but the head in a sheet, and get some one to hold her. Do not alarm her if possible—mind your fingers—and pour the medicine little by little down her throat. If a pill or bolus, dip it in oil, and put it well down and against the roof of her mouth.

Giving a cat medicine. Wrap her up in a sheet, leaving just her head exposed, and have someone hold her. Try not to scare her—watch your fingers—and slowly pour the medicine down her throat bit by bit. If it's a pill or a larger dose, coat it in oil and push it far back on her tongue against the roof of her mouth.

Chronic inflammation of the stomach. This is a frequent disease among cats. It often follows the administration of poison—supposing the cat to have escaped immediate death. She refuses nearly all food, has frequent attacks of vomiting, gets thin and altogether unhealthy-looking, without any apparent cause. In these cases, I generally recommend the trisnitrate of bismuth, about[Pg 379] a grain, to be placed on the tongue twice a day. Occasional doses of castor-oil or tincture of rhubarb, with milk diet and fish, and, if there be much wasting, raw beef may be given twice a day.

Chronic stomach inflammation. This is a common condition in cats. It often happens after they’ve been poisoned—assuming the cat has survived the initial danger. The cat usually refuses most food, has frequent vomiting episodes, loses weight, and appears generally unhealthy without any clear reason. In these situations, I typically suggest administering about[Pg 379] a grain of bismuth trisnitrate on the tongue twice a day. Occasionally, doses of castor oil or tincture of rhubarb, along with a milk diet and fish, can be helpful, and if there’s significant weight loss, raw beef can be provided twice a day.

Bronchitis.—Cats are very subject to this complaint, as they are very liable to catch cold, especially if much exposed. It begins with the symptoms of a common cold, such as staring coat, shivering, and slight cough. Then the cat becomes very ill, for a day or two, with the acute stage of the trouble, which, however, soon passes into the chronic form. There is now apparent difficulty of breathing, the cat is constantly coughing, with the tongue hanging over the lower lip; she has an anxious expression about her face, and the eyes water and are mattery. She gets rapidly thinner, and moons about, refusing all food, or at times eating voraciously, and with depraved appetite.

Bronchitis.—Cats are quite prone to this issue, as they can easily catch colds, especially if they are often outdoors. It starts with symptoms similar to a common cold, like a rough coat, shivering, and a mild cough. Then the cat becomes very sick for a day or two during the acute stage, which, however, quickly transitions into a chronic form. At this point, there is noticeable difficulty in breathing, the cat coughs frequently, with its tongue hanging over its lower lip; it has a worried look on its face, and its eyes are watery and crusty. The cat loses weight rapidly, wanders around, refuses to eat, or sometimes eats excessively with a strange appetite.

Treatment. Begin by giving a simple dose of castor-oil, if no diarrhœa present; if so, the dose to be combined with two drops of laudanum. Confine her to the house and[Pg 380] feed her on beef-tea and bread, or milk-arrowroot with beef-tea. If the disease becomes chronic, I know of no medicine better than—

Treatment. Start by giving a small dose of castor oil if there's no diarrhea; if there is, mix the dose with two drops of laudanum. Keep her at home and[Pg 380] feed her beef tea and bread, or milk arrowroot with beef tea. If the illness turns chronic, I don't know of any medicine better than—

Extr. Conii
Pil. Scillæ Co. ā ā   gr. xv.

made into a bolus with sufficient bread-crumb; the bolus to be divided into twenty pills, and one given every night. Keep up her strength, and complete the cure by a small tea-spoonful of cod-liver-oil twice a day for a fortnight. This latter often acts like a charm. A certain form of “mange” often accompanies the disease.

made into a ball with enough bread crumbs; the ball should be divided into twenty pills, with one taken every night. Maintain her strength and finish the treatment with a small teaspoon of cod liver oil twice a day for two weeks. This often works like a charm. A specific type of “mange” often comes with the disease.

Consumption. This is not necessarily, although often, a lung-disease in cats. Whatever disease induces general wasting of the body, deterioration of pelage, an unhealthy state of the system, with refusal of, or distaste for, food—if there be no bilious vomiting—may be called consumption. The treatment, which in most cases is successful, is regulation of diet, careful housing and attention, raw meat in small quantities twice a day, and cod-liver-oil twice or thrice a day.[Pg 381] Cod-liver-oil must be the sheet anchor in these cases; but if there is much cough, a little mixture like the following will not fail to give relief,—

Consumption. This isn't always, but often is, a lung disease in cats. Any illness that causes overall weight loss, poor coat condition, an unhealthy state, and a lack of appetite—without any vomiting—can be referred to as consumption. The treatment, which is usually effective, includes regulating the diet, providing a safe and comfortable living space, and giving small portions of raw meat twice a day, along with cod-liver oil two to three times a day.[Pg 381] Cod-liver oil should be the main treatment in these cases; however, if there is a persistent cough, a mixture like the following will help relieve it—

℞   Tinct. Opii Camph.   ℨ j.
  Syr. Scillæ   ℨ jss.
  Sol. Mur. Morphiæ   m. x.
  Aquæ cum Syrupo   ad. ℥ ij.—M.

A teaspoonful occasionally.

A teaspoon sometimes.

Fits. Cats are subject to various sorts of fits, delirious and otherwise. The great thing is to give instant relief. Try first a common smelling-salts bottle held to the nostrils, or a pinch of dry snuff; if that does no good, pussy must be bled. I make a minute incision on the lower part of the ear behind, with a fine-pointed lancet, and then foment with a sponge and hot water.

Fits. Cats can experience different types of fits, whether delirious or not. The key is to provide immediate relief. Start by using a regular bottle of smelling salts near their nostrils or a pinch of dry snuff; if that doesn’t help, the cat will need to be bled. I make a small cut on the lower part of the ear behind, using a fine-pointed lancet, and then apply a sponge soaked in hot water.

The after-treatment will depend much on the condition of the cat. If too fat or heavy, the diet must be lowered and regulated,—sheep’s liver and melt being given three times a week; if she is thin and emaciated, we must trust to plenty of milk and raw meat, with cod-liver oil, with one-tenth of a grain of quinine, twice a day.[Pg 382] If the cat be subject to fits the following will be found useful:—

The aftercare will depend a lot on the cat's condition. If she's overweight, her diet needs to be reduced and managed—feed her sheep’s liver and melt three times a week. If she's thin and frail, we should rely on plenty of milk and raw meat, along with cod-liver oil and one-tenth of a grain of quinine, twice a day.[Pg 382] If the cat has seizures, the following will be helpful:—

℞   Bromid. Potass.   gr. x.
  Iod. Potass.   gr. ijss.
  Zinci. Sulph.   gr. iv.

Mix with bread-crumb to form twenty pills, and give one morning and night.

Mix with bread crumbs to make twenty pills, and take one in the morning and one at night.

Mange. I merely use this term because it is a handy one. Cats never have mange as found in the dog; but they have many kinds of skin diseases, both pustular and scaly. They may all be treated in a similar manner. Attention to diet: let it be nourishing, moderate in quantity, and not heating. Let the cat have plenty of exercise and free access to grass. A lotion of carbolic acid may be used with advantage, not stronger than one part of the acid to seventy of water. It must be very carefully mixed, and washed off again in two or three hours. Afterwards, an ointment of sulphur and hellebore may be used,—which any chemist will make for you,—and arsenic must be given internally. The liquor arsenicalis is the medicine to be used: drop six drops into an ounce bottle of water, and[Pg 383] give pussy one teaspoonful twice a day in her milk. There is no taste with the medicine. Continue this for a fortnight, then omit for three days, and resume again until a cure is effected and the hair begins to grow again.

Mange. I only use this term because it's a convenient one. Cats don’t get mange like dogs do; however, they can have various skin diseases, both pustular and scaly. All of these can be treated similarly. Focus on the diet: it should be nourishing, moderate in quantity, and not too rich. Make sure the cat gets plenty of exercise and has free access to grass. You can use a lotion of carbolic acid, but it should not be stronger than one part acid to seventy parts water. It must be very carefully mixed and washed off after two or three hours. Afterward, you can apply an ointment of sulfur and hellebore, which any chemist can prepare for you, and arsenic should be given internally. The liquor arsenicalis is the medicine to use: drop six drops into one ounce of water and[Pg 383] give your cat one teaspoonful twice a day in her milk. The medicine has no taste. Continue this for two weeks, then skip for three days, and resume until a cure is achieved and the hair starts to grow back.

The Yellows. This disease is often as fatal in the dog as in the cat. It is caused by derangement of the liver, and is most common in large overfed cats, which get little exercise. The disease is ushered in by general feverishness, loss of appetite, and shivering. Sickness next comes on, accompanied by vomiting of a bright yellow, or dark green fluid, mixed with froth. The vomiting continues, and is at times very distressing; and diarrhœa and dysentery may supervene and cause death. If taken in time, give her about half a small tea-spoonful of glauber salts, well diluted with water. This, even if it should cause vomiting, will thereby do good by clearing the stomach; besides, the shock may tend to check the fever. If the vomiting continues, try a pinch of white bismuth, placed on the tongue, or from one[Pg 384] to three drops of laurel-leaf water; or, take one drop of creasote, a few grains of aromatic powder, and sufficient fresh bread-crumb to form ten pills; and give one three times a day. Give, for four or five nights half a grain of calomel on the tongue; and if much diarrhœa is present, give her a grain of white bismuth three times a day, with one or two drops of laudanum at night; and complete the cure by infinitesimal doses of quinine, with cod-liver-oil and raw meat, if there be much emaciation.

The Yellows. This disease can be just as deadly in dogs as it is in cats. It’s caused by liver problems and is most common in large, overfed cats that don’t get much exercise. The disease starts with general fever, loss of appetite, and shivering. After that, the cat becomes sick, often vomiting a bright yellow or dark green liquid mixed with foam. The vomiting continues and can be quite distressing; diarrhea and dysentery may follow and could lead to death. If caught early, give her about half a small teaspoon of Glauber’s salts, well diluted with water. This may cause vomiting, but it will help by clearing the stomach; the shock might also help reduce the fever. If vomiting continues, try a pinch of white bismuth on the tongue, or give one to three drops of laurel-leaf water; alternatively, take one drop of creosote, a few grains of aromatic powder, and enough fresh bread crumbs to make ten pills, and give one three times a day. For four or five nights, give her half a grain of calomel on the tongue; and if there is significant diarrhea, give her a grain of white bismuth three times a day with one or two drops of laudanum at night; finish the treatment with tiny doses of quinine, along with cod liver oil and raw meat if she is very thin.

Dysentery. This is a very serious complaint, and nearly always fatal. It is best treated by castor-oil to begin with; afterwards, minute doses of opium and ipecacuanha, with generous diet and occasionally a little port wine.

Dysentery. This is a very serious condition, and it is almost always fatal. The best initial treatment is castor oil; after that, small doses of opium and ipecac are recommended, along with a hearty diet and occasionally a bit of port wine.

Milk Fever. On no account should a cat’s kittens be taken from her all at once. Indeed, one should always be left to be reared. In milk-fever the paps are swollen and painful, the secretion of milk is suppressed, and the cat is either highly excited—sometimes attempting to kill her kittens—or dull and[Pg 385] stupid-like. A little bleeding will give relief if there is delirium. The tits are to be well fomented with warm water, and a little wine given occasionally, with cream. Three or four drops of compound tincture of camphor, twice a day, will tend to allay irritability.

Milk Fever. A cat's kittens should never be taken away all at once. It's important to leave one to be raised. In cases of milk fever, the nipples are swollen and painful, milk production is reduced, and the cat may be either overly agitated—sometimes even attempting to harm her kittens—or lethargic and[Pg 385] dull. A little bleeding can provide relief if there's delirium. The nipples should be regularly soaked with warm water, and a little wine along with cream can be given occasionally. Three or four drops of compound tincture of camphor, taken twice a day, can help reduce irritability.

Inflammation of one or both eyes is not uncommon among cats, either through injury, or from cold. Remedy: A lotion of sulphate of zinc, two grains to an ounce of water, or a few grains of common alum in warm water, as a fomentation, will generally effect a cure.

Inflammation of one or both eyes is fairly common in cats, whether from injury or cold. Remedy: A lotion made of zinc sulfate, two grains per ounce of water, or a few grains of regular alum in warm water as a compress, will usually lead to a cure.

For ulcers and sores of external ears or cheeks, touch them occasionally with blue-stone, and apply—

For ulcers and sores on the outer ears or cheeks, occasionally touch them with blue-stone and apply—

℞   Sulph. Zinci   gr. x.
  Tinct. Lavandula   ℨ j.
  Aquæ   ℥ iv.

If they are very inveterate, they will only yield to red precipitate ointment, and arsenic internally, as for mange.

If they're really stubborn, they'll only respond to red precipitate ointment and arsenic taken internally, just like for mange.

Cats stand operations of all sorts well. If a cat’s leg is broken and lacerated by a trap, cut it off. Don’t be afraid. Only leave sufficient flesh to cover the bone, and have ready[Pg 386] a strong red-hot wire, to cauterize and stop bleeding, then bring the flaps together by a needle and thread.

Cats handle all kinds of operations well. If a cat’s leg is broken and damaged by a trap, just cut it off. Don’t hesitate. Just leave enough flesh to cover the bone, and have ready[Pg 386] a strong red-hot wire to cauterize and stop the bleeding, then stitch the flaps together with a needle and thread.

Many cats die of apoplexy, many of paralysis. I have dissected some who had well-marked softening of the brain. And many die in their sleep. As a general rule, if your cat seems ailing, you can’t do wrong to give her an emetic—try a little weak salt and water; or let her have fresh grass, and either a dose of castor-oil, or a very little grey powder.

Many cats die from strokes, and many from paralysis. I've examined some that showed clear signs of brain softening. And a lot pass away in their sleep. Generally, if your cat seems sick, you can't go wrong by giving her an emetic—try some weak saltwater; or let her eat fresh grass, and consider a dose of castor oil or a small amount of grey powder.

I have often seen cats’ lives saved, by giving raw beef and cod-liver oil.

I have often seen cats' lives saved by giving them raw beef and cod liver oil.

When a cat is in bad health, either her stomach, bowels, liver, or kidneys, are out of order; and as a rule we can generally only conjecture which. A medicine, therefore, that acts, gently but effectively, on all the organs would be a sort of specific for cats’ complaints. In the “Cat’s Medicine Chest,” advertised at the end of this book, I have placed a medicament of this nature, which I have often prescribed with excellent results. There is everything in that little box to make a Pussy well, and keep her happy.

When a cat is not feeling well, it's usually her stomach, intestines, liver, or kidneys that are having issues, and most of the time, we can only guess which one it is. So, a medication that works gently but effectively on all these organs would be a kind of cure-all for cat problems. In the “Cat’s Medicine Chest,” mentioned at the end of this book, I’ve included a remedy like this that I’ve often recommended with great success. That little box has everything needed to make your cat feel better and keep her happy.

 

 


CHAPTER VIII.

ODDS AND ENDS.

Odds and ends.

When my pet cat read the heading of this chapter, she sarcastically remarked,—

When my cat saw the title of this chapter, she sarcastically said,—

“Humph! I suppose you mean that cats tails are the ‘ends’; but what’s the ‘odds’?”

“Humph! I guess you’re saying that cat tails are the ‘ends’; but what’s the ‘difference’?”

Theodore Nero raised his chin slightly from the carpet to add,—

Theodore Nero lifted his chin slightly from the carpet to say,—

“So long’s you’re happy.”

"As long as you're happy."

“You brute!” said Muffie. “You don’t know what you’re talking about; you always are half asleep.”

“You brute!” Muffie exclaimed. “You have no idea what you’re talking about; you’re always half asleep.”

But touching cats’ tails (it wouldn’t be the best policy to touch every cat’s tail however), a lady asked me seriously at dinner the other day, “Why does a cat waggle its tail?” Such a question at such a time was a poser, and, to comfort me, she added, that she really was asking for information. I answered, as Dundreary, “Becauth a cat ith[Pg 388] sthronger than its tail; if the tail wath the sthronger, the tail would waggle the cat.”

But regarding cats’ tails (it wouldn’t be wise to touch every cat’s tail, though), a lady asked me seriously at dinner the other day, “Why does a cat wag its tail?” Such a question at that moment was a challenge, and to ease my discomfort, she added that she was genuinely seeking information. I responded, as Dundreary would, “Because a cat is stronger than its tail; if the tail were stronger, the tail would wag the cat.”

Cats are extremely proud of their tails. Pulling a Jew’s beard, and a cat’s tail, are indignities of an equality. Doubtless, did mankind possess these appendages, he would be equally jealous of their honour. But they have been overlooked somehow in the outfitting. But just imagine how gingerly we gentlemen would use them! How elegantly we would carry them under our arms while walking, and how we would flare up if any one trod on our tail! Imagine Paddy at a fair: “Twelve o’clock, and no foight yet! Will any gintleman just spit on the point of my tail?”

Cats take a lot of pride in their tails. Pulling a Jewish man's beard and a cat's tail are both insults that are equally serious. If humans had tails, they would probably be just as protective of them. For some reason, though, we've been left without them. Just think about how carefully we would handle them! How stylishly we would carry them under our arms while walking, and how angry we would get if someone stepped on our tail! Picture Paddy at a fair: "It's twelve o'clock, and there's been no fight yet! Can any gentleman just spit on the tip of my tail?"

How useful, too, tails would be in many ways in riding, driving, or boating! On a rainy day, one’s umbrella might be tied to it, so as to have both hands free; and in mobs and crowds it could be worn out of sight. How handy, to dig your neighbour in the ribs with, and say, “Sly dog”; or, “Don’t you see, don’t you see?” when you’d made a bad pun! How useful to the orator, for[Pg 389] elegant gesticulation, to give point to an argument, or to indicate derision. For example:—

How useful tails would be in so many situations—like riding, driving, or boating! On a rainy day, you could tie your umbrella to it, allowing you to keep both hands free; and in crowds, you could keep it hidden. Imagine poking your neighbor in the ribs with it and saying, “Sly dog,” or, “Don’t you see, don’t you see?” when you’ve made a bad pun! It would be so helpful for speakers, providing a graceful way to emphasize a point or show mockery. For example:—

Lord Chief Justice: Did you poke your tail at me, sir?

Lord Chief Justice: Did you just mock me, sir?

Claimant: No, my lord; I——

Claimant: No, your honor; I——

L. C. J.: Very well, sir; don’t do it again—that’s all.

L. C. J.: Alright, sir; just make sure not to do it again—that's all.

How convenient the British sailor would find a tail, when aloft reefing topsails; and, sure, wouldn’t Jack also use it as a tobacco stopper? If men had tails, the medical profession would be benefited thereby. There would be several new diseases and new operations. How beautifully this would sound, for instance: “Compound comminuted fracture of the middle third of caudal extremity;” or, “Amputation at the tenth caudal vertebra;” which would give rise to advertisements like the following: “Turner’s Circular Splint,” and “Beautiful, easy-fitting Caudal Appendages, equal to Nature; patronised by the illustrious Duke of Dunmore, whose tail was carried away by a 500 pounder, at the battle of Dorking, during[Pg 390] the famous charge of the gallant London Scottish. Only seven-and-six!”

How useful the British sailor would find a tail while up there adjusting the sails; and surely, wouldn’t Jack also use it as a cigarette holder? If men had tails, the medical field would benefit from it. There would be several new diseases and new surgeries. How lovely this would sound, for example: “Compound comminuted fracture of the middle third of the tail;” or, “Amputation at the tenth tail vertebra;” which would lead to ads like these: “Turner’s Circular Splint,” and “Beautiful, easy-fitting Tail Attachments, just like Nature; endorsed by the esteemed Duke of Dunmore, whose tail was lost to a 500-pounder at the battle of Dorking, during[Pg 390] the famous charge of the gallant London Scottish. Only seven-and-six!”

The ends of justice, too, would be assisted. New laws would be added to the penal code. Garotters would be condemned to “Two years’ imprisonment and deprivation of caudicity.” Lesser offences punished by “Six months, and six inches off tail.” Thus we should easily know a rogue in the street, when we met one.

The goals of justice would also be supported. New laws would be added to the criminal code. Garotters would face “Two years in prison and loss of their tails.” Lesser offenses would be punished by “Six months and six inches off their tails.” This way, we could easily recognize a criminal when we saw one on the street.

I must stop. I feel I should warm to the subject; and one of such vast ramifications ought to have more space for its consideration, than I can afford. However, to band-masters, acrobats, public-speakers, parsons, painters, and policemen, tails would indeed be invaluable; and, upon my honour, when I come to think of it, I only wonder how human beings, have come to be overlooked in this little matter.

I need to pause. I feel like I should delve into this topic more; something so complex deserves more attention than I can provide. Still, for band leaders, acrobats, public speakers, ministers, artists, and police officers, tails would be incredibly useful. Honestly, when I think about it, I can’t believe that humans have been ignored in this small issue.

Cats, it may be observed, wag their tails when pleased; when angry, they lash them; and, when excited, and about to spring on their prey, the tail quivers. This is all involuntary on the part of pussy, and is an[Pg 391] index of the state of her feelings, the tail being principally supplied with nerves from the spinal chord, and along this chord the nervous force is carried from the brain.

Cats, as you may notice, wag their tails when they're happy; when they're mad, they whip them; and when they're excited and getting ready to pounce on their prey, their tails quiver. This is all instinctive for the cat and serves as an[Pg 391] indicator of her emotions, since the tail is mainly supplied with nerves from the spinal cord, and the nervous signals travel along this cord from the brain.

Why do cats always fall on their feet? This question is by no means difficult to answer. When she first falls from a height, her back is lowermost, and she is bent in a semicircle. If she fell thus, fracture of the spine, and death, would be the inevitable result. But natural instinct induces her, after she has fallen a foot or two, to suddenly extend the muscles of her back, and stretch her legs; the belly now becomes the convexity, and the back concave, thus altering the centre of gravity, and bringing her round; then she has only to hold herself in this position in order to alight on her feet.

Why do cats always land on their feet? This question is not hard to answer. When a cat first falls from a height, its back is facing down, and its body is curved like a semicircle. If it fell like that, it would definitely break its spine and die. But instinct kicks in, and after falling a foot or two, it suddenly stretches its back muscles and legs; the belly becomes the highest point, and the back curves down, changing the center of gravity and flipping the cat over. Then, it just needs to stay in that position to land on its feet.

One day lately, a lady, who lives in the fourth story of a house in Dundee, hung the cage with the canary on a nail outside the window. The cat, from the inside, watched it for some time till, unable any longer to withstand the temptation, she made a spring, and, somehow missing the cage, fell to the[Pg 392] ground, some forty feet. But she alighted on her feet, and walked off as if nothing had occurred. (See Note R, Addenda.)

One day recently, a woman living on the fourth floor of a building in Dundee hung her canary's cage on a nail outside her window. The cat, watching from inside, stared at it for a while until she couldn't resist the urge any longer. She leaped at the cage but missed it entirely, falling about forty feet to the[Pg 392] ground. However, she landed on her feet and walked away as if nothing had happened. (See Note R, Addenda.)


Cats are wonderfully sure footed. I saw a cat one day, taking an airing along a housetop, where Blondin could hardly have walked without a pole. She had a kitten in her mouth, too, to make her performance all the more entertaining. Another puss I saw sitting on an iron rail, a few feet from the ground, and apparently fast asleep. The rail was only about one inch in diameter, and she sat there fully an hour.

Cats are incredibly nimble. I saw a cat one day, casually strolling along a rooftop, where even a tightrope walker would struggle without a pole. She had a kitten in her mouth, which made her act even more impressive. Another cat I spotted was sitting on an iron railing, a few feet off the ground, and seemed to be sound asleep. The rail was only about an inch in diameter, and she balanced there for a whole hour.


Very few cats care to drink spirituous liquors. Dogs are not so particular. One dog I had once, on board ship—a Labrador retriever—used to attend the call of “Grog O!” every day, and get his allowance along with the men. He never got drunk though, and he showed his wisdom by taking it well watered. I know a little bull-terrier bitch, who goes to a hotel every day she has a chance. Her favourite tipple is beer poured[Pg 393] upon a salver. As she cannot speak, she sits in a chair and thinks a lot. As she always meets plenty of friends willing to stand treat, she never comes home sober. I saw her a few weeks ago, trying in vain to cross the street. At last she sat down in the middle, and barked to me. I was sorry to see a well-bred young lady in such a condition, so I helped her home, for which she showed gratitude next day. (See Note S, Addenda.)

Very few cats like to drink alcoholic drinks. Dogs are less picky. One dog I had once, a Labrador retriever, would respond to the call of “Grog O!” every day and get his share with the crew. He never got drunk, though, and he was smart enough to sip it well watered down. I know a little bull-terrier girl who goes to a hotel every chance she gets. Her favorite drink is beer served on a tray. Since she can't talk, she sits in a chair and does a lot of thinking. She always meets plenty of friends willing to buy her drinks, so she never comes home sober. I saw her a few weeks ago trying unsuccessfully to cross the street. Finally, she just sat down in the middle and barked at me. I felt bad seeing a well-bred young lady in such a state, so I helped her home, and she showed her thanks the next day. (See Note S, Addenda.)

But my father had a cat,—a big Tom, whom the servants used to make drunk at any time. His beverage was Scotch whiskey-brose, i.e., oatmeal and whiskey; and I’ve seen him come staggering into the parlour and tumble over the leg of the table. Then he would fall asleep.

But my dad had a cat—a big Tom cat, whom the servants would get drunk whenever they felt like it. His drink was Scotch whiskey-brose, i.e., oatmeal and whiskey; and I’ve seen him come stumbling into the living room and trip over the leg of the table. Then he would fall asleep.


Cats, as a rule, do not like music; although, if brought up in a musical family, they learn to tolerate it. A cat is easily taught to come when whistled upon. A friend of mine has a cat, who, if he commences to whistle a tune, immediately jumps[Pg 394] on his breast, and rubs her head all over his face, as if trying to comfort him, having the notion, no doubt, that he is in some sort of anguish. But if he puts out his hand to take down his fiddle in her presence, she at once erects her back and tail, and growls at him, in unmistakable anger. However, in this she shows her good taste, for her master is certainly the most execrable performer, that ever tickled hair on gut.

Cats generally aren’t fans of music; however, if they grow up in a musical household, they learn to deal with it. A cat can easily be taught to come when called by a whistle. A friend of mine has a cat that, whenever he starts whistling a tune, immediately jumps on his chest and rubs her head all over his face, almost as if she’s trying to comfort him, likely thinking he’s in some kind of distress. But if he reaches for his violin in front of her, she immediately arches her back and tail and growls at him in clear anger. In this, she shows her good taste, as her owner is definitely the worst musician that’s ever played an instrument.


There are many old superstitions regarding cats still extant, and many foolish notions about them, that had much better be unlearned. Sailors believe, that, if the ship’s cat be lost overboard, shipwreck, or some such disaster, is almost sure to follow. My own old captain, Commander McH—— was imbued with this notion, hence his extreme care to retain the black cat on board, as depicted in the tale, which follows this Chapter—“The Skipper’s Imp.”

There are still many old superstitions about cats and a lot of silly ideas that really should be forgotten. Sailors think that if the ship’s cat falls overboard, a shipwreck or some other disaster is definitely going to happen. My old captain, Commander McH——, was convinced of this, which is why he was so careful to keep the black cat on board, as shown in the story that follows this Chapter—“The Skipper’s Imp.”

Witches are supposed by some to be constantly attended by an evil spirit, in the shape of a black cat.

Witches are believed by some to always have an evil spirit with them, taking the form of a black cat.

[Pg 395]To dream of cats is considered very unlucky. In some of the more unfrequented districts of Scotland, the good folks are still very careful to shut up their cats in the house, on Hallowe’en, i.e., the 31st of October. And they tell me, that those cats that have managed to escape incarceration, that night may be seen, by those brave enough to look, scampering over hill and dell, and across the lonely moors, each one ridden by a brownie, a bogle, a spunkie, or some other infernal jockey, in fact, a devil’s own steeplechase. And, they say, those cats never produce young again; or, if they do, the sooner the kittens are put out of sight the better; they are subject to startings in their sleep—no wonder—have a weird unearthly look about their eyes, and soon pine away, and die, and go—we shudder to say whither.

[Pg 395]Dreaming of cats is believed to be very unlucky. In some less populated areas of Scotland, people still make sure to keep their cats indoors on Halloween, which is the 31st of October. They say that any cats that manage to escape that night can be seen, by those daring enough to look, running across hills and valleys and through the lonely moors, each one ridden by a brownie, a bogle, a spunkie, or some other mischievous spirit, really like a devil’s own steeplechase. It's said that those cats never have kittens again; if they do, it's best to hide the kittens quickly; they tend to startle in their sleep—no surprise there—have a strange, otherworldly look in their eyes, and soon waste away, dying and going—we hesitate to say where.

Cats are supposed to be capital prognosticators of the weather. If a cat is seen washing her face with more than usual assiduity, it is going to be stormy; and if pussy sits much with her back to the fire, you may[Pg 396] expect frost and snow in winter, and thunder and lightning, with hail, in summer. Some portion of pussy’s person seems, indeed, to retain the power of foretelling the weather, even after death, as witness that common toy, which poor people use instead of a barometer, a wee wee man, and a wee wee woman, living together in a wee wee house; one of them pops out every day; if the day is to be fine, the lady comes, if not, like a loving wife, she sends her good man out—the secret is, the little couple are suspended on catgut, which twists or untwists according to the state of the atmosphere.

Cats are believed to be great predictors of the weather. If a cat is seen washing her face more than usual, it’s going to be stormy; and if the cat sits with her back to the fire for a long time, you can expect frost and snow in winter, and thunder and lightning, along with hail, in summer. Part of a cat’s body seems to keep the ability to predict the weather, even after it’s gone, as shown by that common toy poor people use instead of a barometer—a tiny man and woman living together in a tiny house. One of them pops out every day; if it’s going to be nice, the lady comes out, and if it’s not, like a devoted wife, she sends her husband out—the trick is that the little couple are hung on catgut, which twists or untwists based on the weather conditions.

 

LONG-HAIRED BLACK.
First Prize—Owned by Miss Armitage.

LONG-HAIRED BLACK.
First Prize—Owned by Miss Armitage.

 

MANX.
First Prize—Owned by P. Williams, Esq.

MANX.
First Prize—Owned by P. Williams, Esq.

 

There is a very common popular fallacy, regarding cats sucking an infant’s breath, and killing it. The idea is simply preposterous. Cats, being extremely fond of children, naturally like to get into the cradle, to lie beside, and watch them. They often crouch upon the child’s breast; this may impede breathing more or less, according to the relative size of the cat to the baby. If the cat actually sits upon the child’s face, then indeed the poor creature may be [Pg 397]suffocated. But such an occurrence is so very rare, that it is hardly worth mentioning. Many more deaths occur from bad arrangement of a baby’s pillow, in which case the mother must be glad when there is a cat to put the blame upon.

There’s a common myth that cats can suck the breath out of an infant and cause their death. This idea is simply ridiculous. Cats love children and often like to curl up in the crib next to them and watch over them. They may sometimes lie on the baby’s chest, which can slightly affect their breathing depending on the size of the cat compared to the baby. If a cat happens to sit on the baby’s face, then yes, the baby might be suffocated. But such an event is extremely rare and hardly worth mentioning. Far more babies die from poorly positioned pillows, and in those cases, the mother might be relieved to have a cat to blame.


Cats have any amount of wiliness about them. A dog would scarcely think of hiding below a bush until its prey came within reach; but cats are adepts at an ambuscade. A cat knows by experience that a bird—say a sparrow—looks almost in every direction, saving directly beneath it, and so pussy always steals a march on it, from below. If a bird is foolish enough to alight on the top of a clothes-pole, pussy has a very easy victory. It is that same habit of never looking downwards, which causes those large birds, which alight on a ship’s yards at sea, to be so easily captured by the sailors.

Cats are incredibly sly. A dog would hardly think of hiding under a bush until its prey gets close, but cats are experts at ambushing. A cat knows from experience that a bird—like a sparrow—looks almost everywhere except directly beneath it, so it always sneaks up from below. If a bird is foolish enough to perch on top of a clothes pole, the cat has an easy win. It's that same tendency of never looking down that makes large birds, which land on a ship's masts at sea, so easily caught by sailors.


Instances of jealousy are by no means uncommon in the feline race. Jealousy is an indication of a sensitive nature, and no[Pg 398] animal in the world is more sensitive than a cat. A lady had a pretty little pussy, which she had saved from drowning. This cat was excessively fond of its mistress, was never absent from her while in the house, and outside used to follow her like a dog. But in course of time, this lady bought a parrot, and pussy must have thought her mistress was paying the bird too much attention, for all of a sudden the cat’s nature seemed entirely changed. It did not respond to the lady’s caresses; it would sit for an hour at the time, looking with gathered brows at the parrot, and instead of accompanying her mistress abroad she remained sulking in doors. In truth, the cat was breaking her heart; her glossy fur got dry and rough, and at last she refused all food; so, as she really loved her cat, this lady parted with her parrot, although with great reluctance. Pussy recovered at once; the effect seemed magical; and in a few days she was herself again, the same fun-loving, frolicsome, loving wee cat she had been before.

Instances of jealousy are pretty common in cats. Jealousy shows that a cat has a sensitive nature, and no animal in the world is more sensitive than a cat. A woman had a cute little kitten that she had rescued from drowning. This cat was extremely attached to its owner, never leaving her side when they were at home, and outside it would follow her around like a dog. But over time, the woman got a parrot, and the cat must have thought her owner was giving the bird too much attention because suddenly its personality changed completely. It didn’t respond to the woman’s affection; it would sit for an hour, frowning at the parrot, and instead of going outside with her, it sulked indoors. In reality, the cat was heartbroken; its shiny fur became dry and rough, and eventually, it stopped eating completely. So, because she truly loved her cat, the woman reluctantly decided to part with the parrot. The cat recovered immediately; it was like magic, and within a few days, it was back to being the same playful, loving little cat it had always been.

[Pg 399]A gentleman had a cat whom he called “Pimento”—the pimento-tree, the reader will remember, is said to permit no rival plant to grow within its shade. There was another cat in the same house; but Pimento, although otherwise a nice cat, and gentle and loving in the extreme, would never allow his master to pay the slightest attention to this cat. If he did, there was a row at once; and if his master protected the other cat, then Pimento at once left the room growling, and in high dudgeon. (See Note T, Addenda.)

[Pg 399]A man had a cat named “Pimento”—you might remember that the pimento tree is known for not allowing any other plants to thrive in its shade. There was another cat in the same house; however, Pimento, even though he was a nice cat and extremely gentle and loving, would never let his owner show even the slightest attention to this other cat. If he did, there would be an immediate conflict; and if his owner defended the other cat, Pimento would storm out of the room growling, clearly upset. (See Note T, Addenda.)

“In a house where I resided,” says a correspondent (see Note U, Addenda), “there were two cats, a young and an old one. The young one was a smart clever animal with a decided turn for humour, the other liked to be taken notice of. One day I was paying some attention to the latter, which, of course, was highly pleased. With tail erect, it walked backward and forward. The young one, which had been pretending to be asleep, suddenly seized hold of the tail of the other with its paw, gave it a sharp pull, and was again in a sleeping attitude ere the[Pg 400] other had time to look round. The old one turned about, saw the young one apparently asleep, and me laughing. It immediately retired to a corner of the room, thinking no doubt that I was a double villain.”

“In a house where I lived,” says a correspondent (see Note U, Addenda), “there were two cats, one young and one old. The young one was a smart, clever animal with a real sense of humor, while the older one enjoyed being the center of attention. One day, I was giving some attention to the older cat, which, of course, was very pleased. With its tail held high, it walked back and forth. The young cat, which had been pretending to be asleep, suddenly grabbed the older cat's tail with its paw, gave it a sharp tug, and was back in a sleeping position before the older one even had time to turn around. The older cat turned, saw the young one apparently asleep, and me laughing. It immediately retreated to a corner of the room, probably thinking that I was the real culprit.”


Did the reader ever observe how very fond cats are of sitting on paper. One can hardly have a pet puss, and not observe this trait. If you have a book in your lap, up jumps Pussy, and seats herself right on top of it. If you are writing a letter, Pussy creeps along the table, singing so that you can hardly be angry with her, and places herself on the writing materials. My present puss prefers the Daily Telegraph to anything else for a bed at night, or to have her kittens on; indeed, if the Standard is lying on the same sofa, and she gets on to it by mistake, she will very soon get off, and on to the Telegraph.

Have you ever noticed how much cats love sitting on paper? It’s hard to have a pet cat and not see this habit. If you’re reading a book in your lap, your cat will jump right on top of it. If you’re writing a letter, your cat will sneak across the table, purring so cutely that you can’t help but forgive her, and settle on your writing materials. My current cat prefers the Daily Telegraph for her bed at night or to have her kittens on; in fact, if the Standard is on the same sofa and she accidentally gets onto it, she’ll quickly hop off and onto the Telegraph.


Are cats revengeful? Never as a rule. Yet they do sometimes display little pettish outbursts of temper. They would not be like women if they did not do that.

Are cats vengeful? Not usually. But they do occasionally show small bursts of annoyance. They wouldn’t be like women if they didn’t do that.

[Pg 401]A lady tells me that when she is writing, her cat will sometimes come and plant herself right in the way, and when gently pushed off, she suddenly loses her temper, and pitches the writing materials right and left on to the floor.

[Pg 401]A woman tells me that when she writes, her cat sometimes comes and sits right in her way. When she gently moves the cat, she suddenly loses her temper and throws her writing supplies all over the floor.

The following anecdote is highly illustrative of the kind and quantity of pussy’s revenge:—

The following story clearly shows the type and extent of a cat's payback:—

“Now for the story of the cat; she was a lovely black and white Kâbul cat (the same as Persian) with hair like floss silk, as long as one’s finger; and as wise—as a great many human beings. She had a great dislike to roast mutton cold, and when I had nothing else to offer her, her resentment was most marked: she refused my caresses, and walked straight off to my dressing-room, where on the top of the chest of drawers stood my bonnet-box. She jumped up and administered slaps to the box, until it fell on the floor, when she would come away at once, her revenge being gratified. This occurred on several occasions, and only when she was offered a cold mutton dinner. Was[Pg 402] not the knowledge of what would distress my feminine feelings a wonderful piece of intelligence? We quite looked out for it after the first few times, and would watch her walking off to my room, and then in a minute or two there would be ‘bump, bump,’ and my husband would say, ‘There goes your bonnet!’” (See Note V, Addenda.)

“Now for the story of the cat; she was a beautiful black and white Kâbul cat (the same as Persian) with hair like soft silk, as long as a finger; and as clever—as many human beings. She absolutely hated cold roast mutton, and when I had nothing else to give her, her displeasure was very clear: she ignored my affection and walked straight to my dressing room, where my bonnet box sat on top of the chest of drawers. She would jump up and start hitting the box until it fell to the floor, after which she would walk away, satisfied with her revenge. This happened several times, and only when I offered her a cold mutton dinner. Was[Pg 402] it not impressive how she knew exactly what would upset my feelings? We certainly looked forward to it after the first few times, waiting for her to head to my room, and then a minute or two later, we would hear ‘bump, bump,’ and my husband would say, ‘There goes your bonnet!’” (See Note V, Addenda.)

I only know one instance of what might be called revenge proper. It was a large black cat of the name of Imp. The poor fellow was exceedingly ill-used by the servant maid, who used to beat him on every occasion possible. Imp’s dislike to the girl was very great, although he evidently was afraid to attack her, but one day this servant was coming downstairs with a tray of dishes, and seeing both her hands full, Imp thought he ought not to miss such a golden opportunity for retaliation. He accordingly flew at her, and scratched both her arms and face severely. So we see that cats, although gentle and forgiving in the extreme to those who love them, do not easily forget an[Pg 403] injury from the hands of a stranger or cat-hater. (See Note W, Addenda.)

I only know one example of what you might call proper revenge. It was a big black cat named Imp. The poor guy was treated terribly by the maid, who would hit him whenever she could. Imp really didn't like her, although he was clearly too scared to confront her. But one day, as she was coming downstairs with a tray of dishes, and with both her hands full, Imp saw his chance for payback. He suddenly jumped at her and scratched both her arms and face pretty badly. So, we can see that cats, while gentle and extremely forgiving to those who care for them, don’t easily forget an[Pg 403] injury from a stranger or someone who dislikes cats. (See Note W, Addenda.)


The reader must have often heard that cats seem to possess some wonderful instinct which enables them to predict certain kinds of coming calamities,—such as earthquakes, and different sorts of explosion. Personally, I know one instance of this, although I cannot explain it, viz., our ship’s cat taking to the rigging and sitting on the main-truck before our vessel was discovered to be on fire. Another I have from my grandfather—an officer in the 1st Royals at the time of the last Anglo-Franco war. My grandmother was bending down, taking something from a chest on the floor, when suddenly the whole window was blown to splinters—dust almost—around her, with the thunder of some dreadful explosion. It was a transport that had entered the harbour—Kiel, I think—some days before, laden with war munitions, and which had blown up with all hands. But it was remarked by every one on the quay, that the ship’s cat had been[Pg 404] sitting all the morning of the explosion, on the vessel’s main-truck.

The reader has probably heard that cats seem to have an incredible instinct that allows them to sense certain upcoming disasters, like earthquakes and various types of explosions. Personally, I know of one such instance, even though I can’t explain it. Our ship’s cat climbed into the rigging and sat on the main-truck before we discovered that our vessel was on fire. Another example comes from my grandfather, who was an officer in the 1st Royals during the last Anglo-Franco war. My grandmother was bending down to take something from a chest on the floor when suddenly the entire window shattered—turning to dust—around her, accompanied by the terrifying sound of a massive explosion. A transport ship, which had entered the harbor—Kiel, I believe—some days earlier, was loaded with war munitions and had exploded with everyone onboard. Everyone at the quay noticed that the ship’s cat had been[Pg 404] sitting on the vessel’s main-truck all morning before the explosion.


Cats are sometimes very fond of horses. I know an instance of this where the stable-cat was very much attached to a certain horse, and that animal evidently reciprocated the cat’s kindly feelings. And Pussy used to stand quietly, and allow the horse to lick her fur the wrong way, and indeed seemed to enjoy it. (See Note G, Addenda.)

Cats can be quite fond of horses. I know an example of this where the barn cat was really attached to a particular horse, and that horse clearly returned the cat’s affectionate feelings. The cat would stand calmly and let the horse lick her fur the wrong way, and it actually seemed to enjoy it. (See Note G, Addenda.)


We all know how proud Miss Puss is of her song. Barring a certain drowsy monotony, which acts like a narcotic both on herself and kittens, and at times even on human beings, there isn’t much melody in it, however. This power of singing becomes lost in sickness, and also in extreme old age. I know of a cat, of very advanced years, that had given up singing for many a day, until a kitten—a famous musician in its way—came to reside at her house. Then poor old Pussy tried hard to get out a bar or two, and her efforts to succeed were quite[Pg 405] ludicrous. Being laughed at she flew into a passion, and put her spite out on the happy little kitten. The more this spirited pussy was thrashed however, the louder it sang; so the old cat left the room in disgust.

We all know how proud Miss Puss is of her song. Aside from a certain sleepy monotony that acts like a sedative on both her and the kittens, and sometimes even on humans, there isn't much melody in it. This ability to sing fades away with illness and also in extreme old age. I know of a very old cat that had stopped singing for quite a while until a kitten—a talented little musician—moved into her house. Then poor old Pussy tried really hard to get out a note or two, and her attempts were quite [Pg 405] ridiculous. When she was laughed at, she got angry and took her frustration out on the cheerful little kitten. However, the more this spirited kitten was scolded, the louder it sang; so the old cat left the room in frustration.


The days and years of a cat’s life, are on an average fourteen, but many live very much longer. Fifteen and seventeen are very common ages for Pussy to die at. The longest time I have ever known a cat live, was till its twenty-second year, but I have heard of them dying at the age of thirty.

The average lifespan of a cat is about fourteen years, but many live much longer. It's common for cats to reach ages of fifteen or seventeen. The longest I've known a cat to live was twenty-two years, but I've heard of them making it to thirty.


It is quite a common thing for a cat to feed itself with milk or cream, by dipping her forepaw in the jug, and then licking it. Pussy is very awkward at drinking water from a crystal tumbler. At first she will generally thrust her head too far in, which will make her sneeze; then she will sit and eye the glass for a time, as if considering how far the water comes up. Not content with ocular demonstration, she will next put a paw cautiously in, until the extreme end of her toes[Pg 406] touches the water, and thus, after marking the distance, she can drink in comfort.

It's pretty common for a cat to help herself to milk or cream by dipping her front paw into the jug and then licking it. She's really clumsy when it comes to drinking water from a glass. At first, she usually sticks her head in too far, which makes her sneeze. Then she'll sit and stare at the glass for a bit, as if she's figuring out how high the water is. Not satisfied with just looking, she'll then cautiously put a paw in until the tips of her toes[Pg 406] touch the water, and after checking the distance, she can drink comfortably.

A certain cat which had been reared on the spoon, used, when full-grown, to sit up on her hind-legs, and reaching down the spoon to her mouth with her paws, swallow the contents. The same cat used to drink milk, if poured into her mouth from a jug, or any dish with a spout to it. So expert at that trick did she become, that, sitting up as usual, she used to receive and swallow a continuous stream poured into her throat from a height of three feet. (See Note X, Addenda.)

A certain cat, raised with a spoon, used to sit up on her hind legs when she was grown, reaching down to her mouth with her paws to gulp down the contents. This same cat would drink milk if it was poured into her mouth from a jug or any dish with a spout. She became so skilled at this trick that, while sitting up as usual, she would receive and swallow a steady stream poured into her throat from three feet above. (See Note X, Addenda.)


For the subject matter, of the remainder of this chapter, I am indebted to a lady who takes a great interest in feline nature. (See Note H, Addenda.)

For the topic of the rest of this chapter, I owe a lot to a woman who has a deep interest in cat behavior. (See Note H, Addenda.)

“It is certain,” she says, “that cats have some strange instinct, that sends them, when lost or starving, to certain people. They have followed me in gay crowded streets, and met me in fields; I have gone into shops and bought milk and rolls for the[Pg 407] starvelings; and have gone again to the same place, and they were gone,—doubtless, cats on the tramp and destitute. I have known a friend’s cat lost for five days, and it never attempted to make its sorrows known, until I passed before the window of an underground room, when her shrieks were horrible to hear, and so prolonged, that the passers-by stopped to listen. I remained speaking to the poor creature, whose claws were rattling against the shut door, until the key was brought, and pussy set free.”

“It’s clear,” she says, “that cats have some kind of strange instinct that leads them, when they’re lost or hungry, to certain people. They’ve followed me in bustling streets and met me in fields; I’ve gone into stores and bought milk and rolls for the[Pg 407] starving ones; and then I’ve returned to the same place, only to find they were gone—most likely cats on the move and in need. I’ve known a friend’s cat to be missing for five days, and it never tried to express its distress until I walked by the window of a basement room, when its cries were terrible to hear, so loud that people passing by stopped to listen. I stayed there talking to the poor thing, whose claws were scratching against the closed door, until someone came with the key, and the cat was set free.”

She relates an instance of a young surgeon, who was on his way to join his ship, to sail to the antipodes, and who was followed to the very boat by a pretty little kitten. As it seemed bent on being a sailor, the surgeon put the poor thing in his pocket. It was presented to a lady on board, who was interested in its story, and is now doing duty among the cats of South Australia,—a country, by the bye, where cats are more fully appreciated than here.

She shares a story about a young surgeon who was heading to join his ship for a voyage to the other side of the world. A cute little kitten followed him all the way to the boat. Since it seemed determined to be a sailor, the surgeon tucked the poor thing into his pocket. It was given to a lady on board who was intrigued by its story, and now it’s living among the cats of South Australia—a place, by the way, where cats are more appreciated than here.

Beda was a beautiful blue tabby. One summer’s morning, down in Devon, she had[Pg 408] been missed for hours, and on being called, a viper glided out from a thicket in the garden, closely followed by the cat. The snake—until killed by a lady—kept moving off, but every moment turning round, and hissing at Beda, who, however, was in no ways put about. The following also tends to show that cats have no fear of snakes:—

Beda was a beautiful blue tabby. One summer morning in Devon, she had[Pg 408] been missing for hours, and when called, a viper slithered out from a thicket in the garden, closely followed by the cat. The snake—until it was killed by a lady—kept moving away but kept turning around and hissing at Beda, who, however, was not bothered at all. The following also shows that cats have no fear of snakes:—

“At Artea, in the province of Orissa, a cobra had his den under a mulberry-tree, near a garden walk. One day our English tabby cat, Beda, had been missing with all her kits for some hours. She was found at the foot of the mulberry-tree, teaching her children to pat the cobra on the head, every time he popped it out. When the head was protruded too far, a stroke from puss herself, caused its speedy withdrawal. Thinking the game dangerous, the cobra, which measured two inches in diameter, was dug out and killed. We were afterwards told by the natives, that no snake will kill a cat, as they dislike the fur.”

“At Artea, in the province of Orissa, a cobra made its home under a mulberry tree, near a garden path. One day, our English tabby cat, Beda, and her kittens had been missing for several hours. They were found at the base of the mulberry tree, where Beda was teaching her kittens to tap the cobra on the head every time it poked it out. Whenever the head came out too far, a quick swipe from Beda made it retreat. Thinking this game was too risky, the cobra, which was about two inches thick, was dug out and killed. Later, the locals told us that no snake would ever kill a cat because they don’t like fur.”

Cats are like dogs, and generally have a favourite among the litter, the handsomest.[Pg 409] Once when Beda was nursing in India, a wild cat sprang in by the open window, and tried to seize the kittens. Beda made off with her pet, and the wild cat was beaten out. Beda, however, forgot where she had hidden the favourite, nor would she be consoled with the other members of her family. A search was accordingly made, and the pet kitten at last found on a sofa, in an adjoining bungalo.

Cats are like dogs and usually have a favorite from their litter, the prettiest one.[Pg 409] One time when Beda was nursing in India, a wild cat jumped in through the open window and tried to grab the kittens. Beda grabbed her pet and drove the wild cat away. However, Beda forgot where she had hidden her favorite and wouldn't be comforted by the other members of her family. A search was conducted, and the pet kitten was eventually found on a sofa in a nearby bungalow.

This lady’s cat never attempted to touch the canary, nor indeed any birds about the place.

This lady’s cat never tried to get near the canary, or any birds around the house.

 

 


CHAPTER IX.

THE TWO “MUFFIES.”—A TALE.

THE TWO "MUFFIES." - A STORY.

While I was yet a little school-boy, there came about my father’s house and premises a plague of rats. They came in their thousands, as if summoned by the trumpet-tones of a rodentine Bradlaugh or Odger. They took the farm-yard and outhouses by storm, laid siege to the dwelling-house, and, from the thoroughly business-like manner they conducted their operations, and went into winter quarters, it was quite evident they meditated a stay of some duration. Sappers and miners, or royal engineers, were employed to drive tunnels and galleries under every floor, with passages leading to the grain-lofts above. Foraging parties were appointed to every stack of corn and rick of hay. The henhouse was laid under contribution to furnish eggs and feathers, and black-mail was levied from the very cows. The eaves of the well-thatched barns and[Pg 411] byres were apportioned to their wives, their aged, and infirm, while the poor sparrows were dislodged from their comfortable, well-lined nests to make room for little naked baby rats; and so effectually was every department worked, and so well did every branch of the service do its duty, that Cardwell himself, nay, even Bismarck, Moltke & Co., could not have suggested anything in the way of improvement.

When I was just a little schoolboy, a plague of rats invaded my father's house and property. They appeared in their thousands, as if called by the loud cries of some rat leaders. They stormed the farmyard and outbuildings, laid siege to the main house, and their organized efforts suggested they planned to stick around for a while. We had to bring in sappers, miners, or royal engineers to dig tunnels and galleries under every floor, with paths leading to the grain lofts above. Foraging groups were assigned to every stack of corn and hay. The henhouse was tapped for eggs and feathers, and even the cows were coerced for their contributions. The eaves of the well-thatched barns and byres were given over to their wives, the old, and the sick, while the poor sparrows were kicked out of their cozy nests to make room for little naked baby rats; and every part of their operation ran so smoothly and each unit performed its role so well that even Cardwell himself, and surely Bismarck, Moltke & Co., couldn’t have thought of any improvements.

At all these doings my honest father looked very blue, and employed his time principally in expending various sums of money in vermin-killers, and in reading works on toxicology. The result of his study was, that many tempting morsels and savoury tit-bits were placed in convenient corners, for the benefit of the invaders. It seemed indeed for their benefit: they didn’t care a straw for tartar-emetic, appeared to get fat on arsenic, while strychnia only strengthened their nervous systems, and morphia made them fierce.

During all these activities, my honest father looked really down and spent most of his time spending money on pest control and reading up on toxicology. As a result of his research, he ended up putting out all sorts of tasty snacks in easy-to-reach spots for the invaders. It really seemed like it was for their benefit: they didn't give a hoot about tartar-emetic, seemed to thrive on arsenic, while strychnine only made them stronger, and morphine turned them aggressive.

Now Gibbie was the house cat, a very large and beautiful red tabby. In his prime[Pg 412] he had been a perfect Nimrod of the feline race. Scorning such feeble game as the domestic mouse, his joy was to ramble free and unfettered among the woods and forests, by the loneliest spots at the river’s brink, and among the mountains and rocks; often prolonging his hunting excursions for days together, but never returning without a leveret or fine young rabbit. These fruits of the chase he did not always bring home, but often presented to his various human friends in the adjoining village; for Gibbie was known far and near, and even his lordship’s surly old gamekeeper, though he raised his gun at the sight of the cat, forbore to fire when he saw who the bold trespasser was. Many a rare and beautiful bird did Gibbie carry home alive, among others, I remember, a beautiful specimen of the corn-crake; nor can I forget pussie’s manifest disgust, when the bird was allowed to fly away. Just two days after, he brought home a crow, but this time the head was wanting. By the banks of the Denburn he one day fought and slew a large pole-cat; this he[Pg 413] carefully skinned, and dragged home. Gibbie was as well-known in the country-side as the witch-wife, or the pack-merchant, and more respected than either; and people often came to our house to beg for “ae nicht o’ Gibbie,” as “the rottens (rats) at their town (farm) were gettin’ raither thrang and cheeky.”

Now Gibbie was the house cat, a very large and beautiful red tabby. In his prime[Pg 412], he had been a perfect hunter of the feline race. Ignoring such weak prey as the domestic mouse, he loved to roam free and unfettered among the woods and forests, by the quiet spots along the riverbanks, and among the mountains and rocks; often extending his hunting trips for days at a time, but always returning with a leveret or a fine young rabbit. He didn’t always bring these catches home, but frequently gifted them to his various human friends in the nearby village; Gibbie was known far and wide, and even the grumpy old gamekeeper of the lord, though he aimed his gun at the sight of the cat, held back from firing when he saw who the bold intruder was. Many a rare and beautiful bird did Gibbie bring home alive, including a stunning corn-crake; nor can I forget his clear disgust when the bird was allowed to fly away. Just two days later, he returned with a crow, but this time its head was missing. By the banks of the Denburn, he once fought and killed a large polecat; he[Pg 413] carefully skinned it and dragged it home. Gibbie was as well-known in the countryside as the witch-wife or the traveling merchant, and more respected than either; people often came to our house to ask for “a night of Gibbie,” since “the rats at their farm were getting quite unruly and bold.”

The loan was always granted.

The loan was always approved.

“Gibbie, go,” was all my mother would say, and off trotted puss by the party’s side, with his tail gaily on the perpendicular; for he knew, as well as cat could, that rare sport and a rich treat of the sweetest cream, would be the reward of his compliance.

“Gibbie, go,” was all my mom would say, and off trotted the cat by the party’s side, with his tail held high; he knew, as well as any cat could, that some fun and a delicious treat of the sweetest cream would be the reward for his willingness.

But Gilbert did not confine himself to hunting only; he was an expert fisher. For hours he would watch at one spot on the banks of a river, with his eyes riveted on the water, until some unhappy trout came out to bask in the sun’s rays. This was Gibbie’s opportunity. For a moment only his lips and tail quivered with extreme anxiety, then down, swift as Solan goose, he had dived with aim unerring, and seized his finny prey, with which he came quietly to[Pg 414] bank, and trotted off homewards, to enjoy the delicious morsel in some quiet corner all to himself. Rabbits, hares, and game of all kinds, Gibbie parted with freely; but a trout was a treat, and he never shared it with man or mortal.

But Gilbert didn’t just stick to hunting; he was also a skilled fisherman. He would spend hours watching a single spot on the riverbank, his eyes fixed on the water, waiting for an unsuspecting trout to come out and soak up the sun. This was Gibbie’s chance. For just a moment, his lips and tail would tremble with anticipation, then, as fast as a Solan goose, he would dive in with perfect aim and catch his slippery prize, which he would bring back quietly to[Pg 414] the bank, trotting home to enjoy the tasty treat in a quiet spot all to himself. Rabbits, hares, and all kinds of game, Gibbie would share freely; but a trout was special, and he never shared it with anyone.

But Gibbie was now old. Nineteen summers had come and gone since he had sky-larked with his mother’s tail, and his limbs had waxed stiff, and his once bright eyes were dimmed. He seldom went to the woods now, and when he did he returned sorrowfully and minus. He preferred to dose by the parlour fire, or nurse his rheumatism before the kitchen grate; and while nodding over the embers, many a scene, I warrant, of his earlier years came to his recollection, and many a stirring adventure by flood and field stole vividly back to memory, and thus he’d fight his battles o’er again, and kill his rabbits thrice.

But Gibbie was now old. Nineteen summers had come and gone since he had played around with his mother’s tail, and his limbs had grown stiff, and his once bright eyes were dimmed. He rarely went to the woods now, and when he did, he returned sad and empty-handed. He preferred to doze by the parlor fire or nurse his rheumatism by the kitchen grate; and while nodding over the embers, many scenes from his earlier years came to his mind, and many exciting adventures by river and field vividly returned to his memory, and so he would fight his battles over again and relive his rabbit hunts multiple times.

“Gibbie,” said my father one day, thoughtfully removing his pipe from his mouth; “Gibbie, you’ve got some game in you yet, old boy.”

“Gibbie,” my dad said one day, thoughtfully taking his pipe out of his mouth, “Gibbie, you’ve still got some fight in you, old man.”

[Pg 415]“Oh, aye,” said Gibbie, for he was the pink of politeness, and never failed to reply when civilly addressed.

[Pg 415]“Oh, sure,” said Gibbie, because he was the epitome of politeness and never missed a chance to respond when someone spoke to him respectfully.

“Well,” continued my father, “you shall have a good supper, and a night among the rats in the grain-loft.”

“Well,” my father said, “you’ll get a good dinner and a night with the rats in the grain loft.”

“Wurram!” replied the cat, which doubtless meant that he was perfectly willing, and that it would be a bad job for the rats. So the programme was duly carried out, and Master Gilbert was shut up among the foe.

“Wurram!” replied the cat, which clearly meant that he was totally on board, and that it would be bad news for the rats. So the plan was put into action, and Master Gilbert was locked up among the enemy.

Early in the morning, my father, who had not closed an eye all the night, opened the door, and, lame and bleeding, out limped his old favourite, shaking his poor head—raw with wounds—in the most pitiful manner possible. The brave beast had fought like a tiger all the night long, nearly two score of rats lay dead around, while the blood lay in pools on the decks, with as much hair and fluff, as if a dozen Kilkenny cats had been contending for victory—and got it. That night’s ratting proved fatal to old Gibbie. The dreadful wounds he had received never healed, and after much deliberation it was[Pg 416] determined that an end should be put to the poor animal’s sufferings.

Early in the morning, my father, who hadn't slept at all that night, opened the door, and out limped his old favorite, hurt and bleeding, shaking his poor head—raw from wounds—in the most heartbreaking way. The brave animal had fought like a tiger all night long, with nearly twenty rats lying dead around him, and blood pooled on the floor along with clumps of fur, as if a dozen Kilkenny cats had been battling it out—and had won. That night’s ratting was fatal for old Gibbie. The terrible wounds he had sustained never healed, and after much consideration, it was[Pg 416] decided that an end should be put to the poor animal’s suffering.

So honest Hughoc, the stable-boy, was sent with Gibbie in a bag to drown him.

So honest Hughoc, the stable boy, was sent with Gibbie in a bag to drown him.

“Is he gone?” said my mother anxiously, when he returned. And we bairns were all in tears.

“Is he gone?” my mom asked anxiously when he came back. And we kids were all in tears.

“Gone, ma’am?” replied Hughoc; “aye, if he had been a horse, and, beggin’ your pardon, a deevil forbye, the river would hae ta’en him doon,—sic a spate (flood) I never saw in my born days.”

“Gone, ma’am?” replied Hughoc; “yeah, if he had been a horse, and, excuse me, a devil beside, the river would have taken him down — such a flood I’ve never seen in my life.”

Notwithstanding all this, Gibbie was at that moment finishing the contents of his saucer, and drying his wet sides before the sitting-room fire, and when we entered, he was singing a song to himself, like the ancient philosopher he was. But the poor cat lived but one short week longer. He died, as bardie Burns has it, “a fair strae death” in his own nook, and was slowly and sadly laid to rest, beneath an aged rowan tree at the end of the garden. And the berries on that tree grew redder ever after, at least we thought so; but we never dared to taste[Pg 417] or touch them, they were sacred to the memory of poor dead and gone Gibbie.

Despite all this, Gibbie was at that moment finishing the contents of his saucer and drying his wet sides in front of the living room fire. When we walked in, he was singing a song to himself, just like the wise philosopher he was. But the poor cat lived just one more short week. He died, as the poet Burns put it, “a fair strae death” in his own little spot, and we slowly and sadly laid him to rest beneath an old rowan tree at the end of the garden. The berries on that tree seemed to grow redder after that, at least that’s what we thought; but we never dared to taste or touch them, as they were sacred to the memory of our poor departed Gibbie.

In the meantime the plague of rats continued unabated, and their ravages seemed rather to increase than diminish. But their reign was nearly at an end. One day my father received the joyful intelligence that a splendid young lady-kitten, was in need of a comfortable home—salary no object.

In the meantime, the rat plague kept going strong, and their damage seemed to be increasing rather than decreasing. But their time was almost up. One day, my father got the wonderful news that a beautiful young female kitten was looking for a cozy home—salary no object.

Away with a basket trudged my little brother and self, and after a long walk came to young pussy’s residence, and had the satisfaction of finding both kitten and mistress at home. The former, indeed a beauty, and faultlessly marked, was engaged alternately in drinking butter-milk, and washing her face before a small looking-glass.

Away with a basket trudged my little brother and me, and after a long walk, we arrived at the young cat's home and were pleased to find both the kitten and its owner there. The kitten, indeed a beauty and perfectly marked, was busy alternating between drinking buttermilk and washing her face in front of a small mirror.

“Aye, my bonnie bairn,”—I was the bonnie bairn, not my brother,—“she’s a perfect wee angel, and ye maun be good till her; ye maunna pu’ her by the tail, and ye maun gie her lots o’ milk, and never let her want for a lookin’-glass.”

“Aye, my sweet child,”—I was the sweet child, not my brother,—“she’s a perfect little angel, and you have to be nice to her; you mustn’t pull her by the tail, and you have to give her lots of milk, and never let her go without a mirror.”

We promised to grudge her nothing that could in any way conduce to her happiness[Pg 418] and comfort, and were allowed to carry her off. Before we reached home, we had taken her from the basket, and with all the solemnity the occasion demanded, baptized her in a running stream, and called her name Muffie. Once fairly established in her new quarters, the kit lost no time in commencing hostilities against the rats, and blood, not butter-milk, became her war-cry. One day as she sat admiring herself in the glass, a large rat unexpectedly appeared in the kitchen; and although but little larger than himself, Kittie at once gave chase, not only to his hole, but into his hole. For the next three minutes the squeaking was quite harrowing to listen to; but presently pussy re-appeared stern foremost, and dragging with her the rat—dead. This she deposited before the fire, growling whenever any one went near it, as much as to say, “Lay but a finger on it, and you yourself may expect to pay the same penalty for your rashness.” The little thing, indeed, seemed swelling with pride and importance, and must have felt considerably bigger than an ordinary[Pg 419] sized ox, and as fierce as a Bengal tiger. In one moment she had bounded from kit to cat-hood. Buttermilk and a looking-glass! Bah! Blood alone could satisfy her ambition now.

We promised to hold back nothing that could contribute to her happiness[Pg 418] and comfort, and we were allowed to take her home. Before we got there, we took her out of the basket and, with all the seriousness the moment required, baptized her in a running stream, naming her Muffie. Once she was settled in her new home, the kitten wasted no time starting a feud with the rats, and blood, not buttermilk, became her battle cry. One day, as she was admiring herself in the mirror, a large rat suddenly appeared in the kitchen; and although it was only a bit bigger than her, Kittie immediately went after it, chasing it not only to its hole but right inside it. For the next three minutes, the squeaking was quite torturous to hear; but soon, the kitty emerged tail-first, dragging the dead rat behind her. She dropped it in front of the fire, growling whenever anyone got close, as if to say, “If you touch it, you'll face the same fate.” The little creature indeed seemed to puff up with pride and importance, feeling much larger than a regular[Pg 419] sized ox and as fierce as a Bengal tiger. In an instant, she had transformed from a kitten into a full-grown cat. Buttermilk and a mirror? No way! Only blood could now fulfill her ambitions.

Little Muffie was left that night in sole charge of the kitchen, and next morning, no less than five large rats, lay side by side on the hearth, as if waiting a post mortem, and wee pussie, with her white breast dabbled in gore, exhausted and asleep, lay beside them. In less than a week, she had bagged upwards of forty, and no doubt wounded twice that number. And now fear and consternation began to spread in the enemies’ camp. Such doings had never been heard of among them, even traditionally. The oldest inhabitant shook his grey muzzle, and gave it up; but added,—

Little Muffie was left in charge of the kitchen that night, and the next morning, five large rats lay side by side on the hearth, as if waiting for a post mortem, while little kitty, with her white fur stained in blood, was exhausted and asleep next to them. In less than a week, she had caught over forty, and no doubt injured twice that many. Fear and panic started to spread among the enemies. They had never seen anything like this, even in their traditions. The oldest resident shook his grey head and gave up; but added,—

“Friends, brethren, rodents! it is time to shift. No one knows whose turn may come next. True, it is a pity to leave such jolly quarters, when everything was going on so pleasantly. We have seen our fattest wives and our biggest braves borne off; our[Pg 420] helpless babes have not been safe from the clutches of that dreaded monster, with the ferocity of a fiend in the skin of a mouse, and lest worst befall us, go we must.”

“Friends, brothers, rodents! It's time to move. No one knows who might be next. Sure, it’s a shame to leave such a fun place when everything was going so nicely. We’ve seen our heaviest wives and our strongest warriors taken away; our[Pg 420] helpless babies haven’t been safe from the grasp of that terrifying creature, fierce like a devil in a mouse’s skin, and to avoid the worst, we have to go.”

And go they did.

And off they went.

Old Tom Riddle, the parish clerk, who might have been seen any night, staggering homewards in the short hours, was well-nigh scared out of the little wits that remained to him, by meeting, as he said,—

Old Tom Riddle, the parish clerk, who could be seen stumbling home each night during the late hours, was nearly scared out of what little sense he had left after encountering, as he claimed,—

“Thoosands upon thoosands o’ rottens, haudin’ up the road in the direction o’ the farm o’ Brockenclough.”

“Thousands upon thousands of rotten ones, holding up the road in the direction of the farm of Brockenclough.”

“Confoond it,” he added, when some one ventured to cast a doubt on his statement; “wasn’t it bright moonlicht, and didn’t I see them wi’ my ain een, carryin’ their wee anes in their mooths, and leadin’ their blin’ wi’ a strae?”

“Damn it,” he added, when someone dared to question his statement; “wasn’t it bright moonlight, and didn’t I see them with my own eyes, carrying their little ones in their mouths, and leading their blind with a straw?”

Whether old Tom exaggerated or not is hard to say; but sure enough, next morning there was not a rat to be seen or heard about my father’s premises; and it is likewise correct that about the same time, the honest farmer of Brockenclough, began to[Pg 421] complain loudly of the destruction by these gentry of his straw and oats. “He liked,” he said, “to see a few o’ the beasties rinnin’ aboot a farm-toon. That was a sign o’ plenty; but when they could be counted by the score, it fairly beat cock-fechtin.”

Whether old Tom was exaggerating or not is hard to tell; but sure enough, the next morning there wasn’t a rat to be seen or heard around my father’s place; and it’s also true that around the same time, the honest farmer from Brockenclough started to[Pg 421] complain loudly about the damage done by these creatures to his straw and oats. “He liked,” he said, “to see a few of those critters running around a farm. That was a sign of plenty; but when you could count them by the dozens, it really beat all.”

For the next twelve months of her existence, Muffie led a very quiet and peaceful life. She was now in her prime—and a more beautifully marked tabby it would have been difficult to imagine—but, as yet, no male of her species had gained her youthful affections. But her time soon came, for strolling one day in the woods, trying to pick up a nice fat linnet for her dinner, Muffie met her fate, and her fate followed her home even to the garden gate, then darted off again to his native woodland. His history was briefly this. He was not born of respectable parentage, and I question, too, whether his parents, were at all more honest than they ought to have been. His mother was a half-wild animal, brought by a half-cracked colonel from the West Indies, and she bore him in the woods, and there she[Pg 422] suckled and reared him, and it was no doubt owing to the wild gipsy life he led, and the amount of freedom and fresh air he enjoyed, that he grew so fine an animal. At any rate, I never have seen his match. An immense red tabby he was, with short ears on a massive head, splendid eyes, and a tail that no wild cat need have been ashamed of. Muffie and her lover used to hold their meetings in the ruins of an old house near a wood, and my brothers and I made a rash vow, to attempt the capture of the beautiful stranger in this same building. Accordingly, one fine moonlight night, missing Lady Muff, and guessing she was on the spoon, we sallied out and made our way to the ruin. My brothers were told off to guard the door and windows, and on me alone devolved the somewhat unpleasant duty, of bagging the cat. With this intention I entered as cautiously as a mouse, and sure enough there sat the happy pair, contentedly, on the cold hearthstone. So engrossed were they in looking at each other, that they never perceived me until quite close upon them. With[Pg 423] the agility of a young monkey, I threw myself on the Tom-cat and seized him by the back. That is exactly what I did. His proceedings were somewhat different, and considerably more to the point, for after making his four teeth meet in the fleshy part of my middle finger, he slid from my grasp like a conger-eel, and went hand over hand up the chimney, followed by the justly indignant Lady Muff,—and I was left lamenting. For the next six weeks, I had the satisfaction of going to school with my arm in a sling. I say satisfaction, because my misfortune was the cause of a great alteration, in the manner of the schoolmaster towards me. Previously it was usual with me to be thrashed “ter die, and well shaken,” which was not at all nice on a winter’s day; but now all this was changed, and I was not beaten at all. The pedagogue spoke to me subduedly, and with a certain amount of conciliatory awe in his manner, and I observed that he always kept a chair or form between my person and his, lest I should at any time take hydrophobia without giving sufficient warning, and bite[Pg 424] the poor man. Seeing how well the sling worked, I did not hesitate to wear it, for fully a month after my hand was quite healed, with the exception of the cicatrices, which the grave only will obliterate.

For the next twelve months, Muffie lived a very quiet and peaceful life. She was in her prime—a beautifully marked tabby—but so far, no male cat had captured her youthful heart. However, her time soon came. One day, while wandering in the woods, trying to catch a nice fat linnet for dinner, Muffie ran into her fate. Her fate followed her all the way home to the garden gate before darting off back to the woods. His story is brief. He didn’t come from respectable parents, and I doubt they were as honest as they should have been. His mother was a half-wild cat brought over by a somewhat eccentric colonel from the West Indies, and she gave birth to him in the woods, where she suckled and raised him. It was undoubtedly due to his wild, free life and the fresh air he enjoyed that he became such a fine animal. I've never seen his match. He was a huge red tabby with short ears on a massive head, stunning eyes, and a tail that no wild cat would be ashamed of. Muffie and her lover held their meetings in the ruins of an old house near the woods, and my brothers and I made a hasty vow to try to capture the beautiful stranger in that same building. So, one fine moonlit night, noting that Lady Muff was missing and guessing she was with him, we set out for the ruin. My brothers were assigned to guard the door and windows, while I alone had the rather unpleasant job of catching the cat. With this in mind, I crept in as quietly as a mouse, and sure enough, there sat the happy couple on the cold hearthstone. They were so focused on each other that they didn’t notice me until I was almost on them. With the agility of a young monkey, I leaped onto the Tom-cat and grabbed him by the back. That’s exactly what I did. His actions were quite different and much more effective; after sinking his four teeth into the fleshy part of my middle finger, he slipped from my grasp like an eel and climbed up the chimney, followed by the justly upset Lady Muff—and I was left there lamenting. For the next six weeks, I had the mixed blessing of attending school with my arm in a sling. I say "blessing" because my injury led to a big change in how the schoolmaster treated me. Before this, I was usually "thrashed ter die, and well shaken," which was no fun on a winter’s day; but now all that changed, and I wasn’t beaten at all. The teacher spoke to me gently, almost with a certain awe, and I noticed that he always kept a chair or bench between us, as if I might suddenly develop rabies and bite him without warning. Seeing how well the sling worked, I didn’t hesitate to wear it for a full month after my hand healed, aside from the scars that only the grave will erase.

Although beaten in our first efforts, we did not give up the idea of capturing this vagabond Tom-tabby, yet it was only through the instrumentality of Muffie, we eventually succeeded. We kept her at home, put a saucer-full of creamy milk in a shady nook of the garden for her lover, and whenever he appeared, which he always did at the hour of gloaming, his betrothed was permitted to meet him, and although he invariably beseeched her to fly with him, she was prevented from acceding to his very reasonable request, by being tethered to a gooseberry bush by a long string. Love and time tamed this feline Ingomar. He left his abode in the forest, exchanged the wild-wood’s shade for the stable’s roof, bartered his freedom for the ties of matrimony, or catrimony,—in short, he married Muffie, adopted civilisation, and became barn-cat par excellence. But no[Pg 425] amount of persuasion could ever entice him into the dwelling-house, nor did he ever suffer a human finger to pollute his fur.

Although we were unsuccessful in our first attempts, we didn’t give up on catching this stray Tom-cat. It was only thanks to Muffie that we finally succeeded. We kept her at home and set out a saucer full of creamy milk in a shady spot in the garden for her lover. Whenever he showed up, which he always did around dusk, she was allowed to meet him. Even though he always asked her to run away with him, she couldn’t agree to his very reasonable request because she was tethered to a gooseberry bush with a long string. Over time, love tamed this feline wanderer. He left his home in the woods, swapped the shade of the forest for the roof of the stable, traded his freedom for the bonds of marriage—or should I say "catrimony"—and in short, he married Muffie, embraced civilization, and became the ultimate barn cat. But no amount of persuasion could ever lure him into the house, nor would he allow a human finger to touch his fur.

I am sorry to say that Ingomar did not at all times behave well to his wife; in fact, at times he was a brute. It was his pleasure that she should sit for hours together in the garden, simply that he might look at her; if she as much as hinted at retiring, he treated her exactly as the Lancashire clod-hoppers do their wives,—he knocked her down and jumped upon her. Muffie had five bonnie kittens, and she put them to bed on the parlour sofa. Ingomar detested refinement as much as Rob Roy did.

I'm sorry to say that Ingomar didn't always treat his wife well; at times, he was downright abusive. He took pleasure in making her sit for hours in the garden just so he could look at her; if she even suggested leaving, he would treat her like the way the Lancashire farmworkers treat their wives—he would knock her down and jump on her. Muffie had five adorable kittens, and she put them to bed on the living room sofa. Ingomar hated refinement as much as Rob Roy did.

“The sons of McGregor, weavers! Bring those kittens forth, and place them here on straw; I will see to their rearing.”

“The sons of McGregor, weavers! Bring those kittens here and put them on the straw; I will take care of raising them.”

That is what Ingomar said, and Muffie mutely complied; and those kittens grew up as wild as himself. From sparrows they got to chickens, from chickens to grouse and game generally, and then got into trouble with the keeper, and had the worst of the argument, which on his part was[Pg 426] double-barrelled. In the early days of his betrothal, Ingomar threw daisies at his beloved, and gambolled with her in mimic strife, but latterly his song was hushed at eventide, and spits and clouts and flying fluff were too often the order of the day.

That’s what Ingomar said, and Muffie silently agreed; and those kittens grew up as wild as he was. They started with sparrows, moved on to chickens, then to grouse and game in general, which got them into trouble with the gamekeeper, and he won the argument, which was basically[Pg 426] a two-pronged attack. In the early days of his engagement, Ingomar would throw daisies at his sweetheart and playfully wrestle with her, but lately, his evening song had faded, and fights and chaos had become all too common.

Poor Ingomar! He was cut down in his prime—slain by a wretched collie-dog. Slowly and sadly we bore him in, his beautiful fur all dabbled in blood, and his once bright eyes fast glazing in death, and tenderly laid him at the widowed Muffie’s feet. Now listen to the remarkable behaviour of that lady. The widowed Muffie did not weep, neither, in consequence of not weeping, did she die; she did an attitude though, then growled and spat, and spitting growled again, and finally gave vent to her feelings by springing through the parlour window and escaping to the woods. And here with shame and sorrow for female inconstancy, but in the interests of truth be it written, not only did Muffie not remain long a widow, but that brief widowhood even, was stained by many acts of levity to the memory of the murdered[Pg 427] Ingomar. His skin beautifully preserved (by—[12]), that skin she did not hesitate to use as a mat, nay, she even gambolled with the tail of it; and although she often paid a visit to her husband’s grave, it was not to weep she went there, no! but literally to dance on the top of it. Such is life! Such are relicts!!

Poor Ingomar! He was taken from us in his prime—killed by a miserable collie dog. Slowly and sadly, we brought him inside, his beautiful fur stained with blood, and his once bright eyes slowly dimming in death. We gently laid him at the feet of the grieving Muffie. Now, pay attention to the surprising behavior of that lady. The widowed Muffie didn’t cry, and because she didn’t cry, she didn’t die either; instead, she struck a pose, then growled and spat, and after spitting, she growled again. Finally, she expressed her feelings by leaping through the parlor window and bolting into the woods. And with a sense of shame and sorrow for female unfaithfulness, but in the interest of honesty, it must be noted that Muffie didn’t stay a widow for long; in fact, that short widowhood was marked by many acts of levity regarding the memory of the murdered [Pg 427] Ingomar. His beautifully preserved skin (by—[12]) was used as a mat, and she even played with his tail; and while she frequently visited her husband’s grave, it wasn't to mourn, oh no! She went there to danced on top of it. Such is life! Such are widows!!

The rest of this pussy’s life was entirely uneventful. One circumstance only deserves relating. She was exceedingly fond of me, in fact quite adored me. Oh! that is nothing, other females have done the same; but Muffie did, what I daresay other females wouldn’t,—she at any time would eat a little bit of the end of a candle, or a bit of greased peat from my hand, while refusing beef-steak or cream from any one else. When I was sent to a distant school, and could only visit my home once a week or fortnight, the house bereft of me had no longer any charms for poor Muffie, and she took to the woods. Perhaps she enjoyed rambling[Pg 428] amid scenes hallowed by the recollection of her early love. She seldom returned home until the day of my accustomed arrival, when she was always there to welcome me. Now that she should have known the usual day for my appearance was nothing remarkable, but it was strange that, if anything interfered with my coming, puss was also absent, nor did my arrival on any other day prevent her from being at home at least an hour before me. One day—alas! that one day that must come to all created things—my Muffie was not there to meet me, and she never came again. After a long search I found her beneath a tree, stark and stiff. Her gentle eyes were closed for aye! I would never feel again her soft caress, nor hear her low loving purr—dear Muffie was dead.

The rest of this cat’s life was completely uneventful. One thing is worth mentioning. She was really fond of me, in fact, she adored me. Oh! That's nothing; other cats have done the same. But Muffie did something that I bet other cats wouldn’t—she would eat a little bit of the end of a candle or a piece of greased peat from my hand, while turning down beef steak or cream from anyone else. When I was sent to a faraway school and could only visit home once a week or every two weeks, the house lost all its appeal for poor Muffie, and she took to the woods. Maybe she liked wandering around in places that reminded her of her early affection. She rarely came home until the day I usually arrived, and she was always there to greet me. Now, the fact that she knew the usual day for my return was nothing out of the ordinary, but it was strange that if something got in the way of my arrival, Muffie was also missing; and my appearance on any other day didn’t stop her from being home at least an hour before I got there. One day—oh! that day that comes for all living things—my Muffie wasn’t there to greet me, and she never came back. After a long search, I found her underneath a tree, cold and still. Her gentle eyes were closed forever! I would never again feel her soft touch or hear her sweet purr—dear Muffie was gone.

But dry your eyes, gentle lady, and listen to the story of

But dry your eyes, kind lady, and listen to the story of

 

MUFFIE THE SECOND.

MUFFIE 2.

I call my present cat Muffie, partly in remembrance of my old favourite, and partly because I think it such a cosy little name [Pg 429]for a pet puss. Bless her little heart, she is sitting on my shoulder while I write, and no slight burden either, her fighting weight being something over twelve pounds. A splendid tabby, she is evenly and prettily marked; her lovely face vandyked with white, and her nose tipped with crimson, like a mountain daisy. She is six years of age, and the mother of over one hundred kittens. Three-fourths of these have found respectable homes,—most of them were bespoken before birth,—and if they have only been half as prolific as their mother, Muffie must be progenitor of thousands.

I call my current cat Muffie, partly to remember my old favorite and partly because I think it’s such a cute little name [Pg 429]for a pet. Bless her little heart, she’s sitting on my shoulder while I write, and she’s not light either, weighing in at over twelve pounds. She’s a beautiful tabby with a nice, even coat; her lovely face is framed with white, and her nose is tipped with red, like a mountain daisy. She’s six years old and has been the mother of over one hundred kittens. Most of them found good homes—many were spoken for before they were even born—and if they were at all as prolific as their mother, Muffie must be the ancestor of thousands.

 

WHITE.
First Prize—Owned by R. H. Young, Esq.

WHITE.
First Prize—Owned by R. H. Young, Esq.

 

BLACK.
First Prize—Owned by Mr. J. Harper.

BLACK.
First Prize—Owned by Mr. J. Harper.

 

A very ambitious kitten you were, too, my pretty Muff. I first picked you up at an hotel, when no bigger than a ball of worsted. Your brothers and sisters, and even your big ugly mother turned and fled, but you stood and spat—didn’t you, puss? and that fetched me. Your favourite seat, too, was the top of the parlour door; and during the first twelve months of your existence, sure didn’t you tear to pieces three sets of window curtains? didn’t you smash all the[Pg 430] flowerpots? weren’t you constantly clutching down the table-cloth and breaking the china and glass, running along the key-board of the piano, and jumping down the stool? What chance did a silk umbrella stand with you? What hope of existence had my patent-leather boots? Was it fair to catch flies on my “Sunset on Arran” before the paint was dry? Was it right to upset my ink-bottle on the table-cloth, or to break the head off my praying Samuel, which head you coolly made a mouse of, and finally hid in my shoe? Or was it at all proper to make such earnest, though happily unsuccessful, endeavours to hook your master’s eyes out as soon as he opened them in the morning? But marriage sobered you, Muffie; and I never can forget the extreme joy you manifested on the birth of your first kittens. Your first idea, I’m told, was to make “mousies” of them; then you thought of eating them. But how anxiously you waited my arrival on that auspicious morning. You came twice to my bedroom to hurry me down, and I dared not stop to shave. Then each[Pg 431] kitten in succession was held up between your forepaws to receive its just meed of admiration. But I hardly think, Miss Muff, your song of joy would have been quite so loud and jubilant, had you known I was selecting two to drown. And each succeeding period since then, you have tried to have your kittens in my bed, and twice you have been only too successful. There, now, go down, my shoulder aches; besides, I have to address the British public.

You were such an ambitious little kitten, my pretty Muff. I first picked you up at a hotel when you were no bigger than a ball of yarn. Your brothers and sisters, and even your big, ugly mother, ran away, but you stood your ground and spat—didn’t you, girl? That really caught my attention. Your favorite spot was the top of the living room door, and during your first year, you tore apart three sets of curtains, broke all the flowerpots, and constantly pulled down the tablecloth, smashing china and glass. You ran across the piano keys and jumped off the stool. What chance did a silk umbrella have with you around? What hope did my shiny leather boots have? Was it fair for you to catch flies on my "Sunset on Arran" painting before the paint was dry? Was it right to spill my ink on the tablecloth or to knock the head off my praying Samuel, which you then played with like a mouse and finally hid in my shoe? And was it proper to make those earnest, though thankfully unsuccessful, attempts to poke your master's eyes out as soon as he woke up in the morning? But marriage calmed you down, Muffie, and I can never forget the pure joy you showed when your first kittens were born. I heard your first instinct was to play with them like “mousies” and then maybe eat them. But you were so eager for me to arrive on that special morning. You came to my bedroom twice to hurry me along, and I didn’t even stop to shave. Then each kitten was held up between your front paws to get its fair share of admiration. But I doubt, Miss Muff, that your song of joy would have been so loud and happy if you had known I was picking two to drown. Since then, you’ve tried to have your kittens in my bed, and twice you were successful. Now, go on, my shoulder hurts; besides, I need to speak to the British public.

Muffie, like her master, has been a wanderer,—and she prefers it. To her, home and master are synonymous terms. Were I to make my bed in the midst of a highland moor, she would not desert me. If I were to place my sea-chest on the top of dark Loch-na-gar,—and that would be no easy matter,—and leave it there for a month, I should find Muffie on the top of it when I returned.

Muffie, just like her owner, has always been a wanderer—and she loves it. For her, home and owner mean the same thing. If I made my bed in the middle of a highland moor, she wouldn’t leave my side. If I set my sea-chest on top of dark Loch-na-gar—which wouldn’t be easy—and left it there for a month, I’d come back to find Muffie still sitting on top of it.

It might very naturally be supposed, that a cat would form but a poor travelling companion, and be rather troublesome. It is all custom, I suppose. Miss Muff, at the smallest[Pg 432] computation, must have travelled nearly 20,000 miles with me; and she can always take care of herself much better than a dog can. From constant experience, she has become quite cosmopolitan in her habits. On the evening before “flitting day” she is more than usually active, ambling round and snuffing at each box as it is being packed, and rubbing her shoulder against it, singing all the while in a most exhilarating manner. As night closes, she, as a rule, with few exceptions, disappears for a time, going most likely to bid good-bye to her friends, whom she seldom sees again in this world, but never fails to be back early in the morning, when, after a hurried breakfast, she curls herself up in her little travelling “creel,” and goes quietly off to sleep. In a railway-carriage or steam-boat, she is allowed to roam about at her own sweet will; but by night her place is by her master’s side, and a more faithful watch he could not have. On arriving at an hotel, after dinner pussy is permitted to go out to see the place. The first night of her sojourn in a strange town, is[Pg 433] always spent by Muffie in the open air; and, wonderful to relate, she always enters in the morning by the front door, although put out at the back. How she can find her way round with accuracy, sometimes a distance of half a mile of strange streets, or how she can tell the hotel door from any other, I cannot say; but she does. Once I gave her basket in charge of a railway porter at a London station, to take upstairs while I got my own ticket and the dog’s. The poor fellow soon returned with bleeding face and hands, to say that the cat had escaped and disappeared in the crowd. There was no time to wait to look for her, my luggage was on board, and the train about to start, so I hurried off to take my seat. Very much to my surprise, I was hailed from a first-class carriage by my pet herself, who appeared rejoiced to see me, and indeed was much more calm and self-possessed, under the circumstances, than her master.

It’s often assumed that a cat would be a poor traveling companion and could be rather annoying. I guess it’s all about what you’re used to. Miss Muff has traveled almost 20,000 miles with me at the very least, and she takes care of herself way better than a dog can. Through her experiences, she’s developed quite the cosmopolitan lifestyle. The night before moving day, she gets unusually active, wandering around and sniffing every box being packed, rubbing against them and singing happily the whole time. Typically, as night falls, she disappears for a while, probably to say goodbye to her friends she won’t see again in this life. But she always returns early in the morning, and after a quick breakfast, she curls up in her little travel basket and falls asleep. On trains or boats, she’s free to roam as she likes, but at night, she prefers to be by my side, and I couldn’t have a more loyal watch. When we get to a hotel, she’s allowed to explore after dinner. The first night she spends in a new town is always outside; remarkably, she always comes back in through the front door, even though she was let out the back. I don’t know how she navigates so accurately, sometimes covering half a mile of unfamiliar streets, or how she identifies the hotel entrance, but she does. Once, I handed her basket to a railway porter at a London station to take upstairs while I got my ticket and the dog’s. The poor guy soon returned with a bleeding face and hands, saying the cat had escaped and vanished into the crowd. There was no time to search for her; my luggage was loaded, and the train was about to leave, so I rushed to my seat. Much to my surprise, I was called out to from a first-class carriage by my pet herself, who seemed thrilled to see me and was much calmer and more composed than I was under the circumstances.

Once, in a strange town—Liverpool,—Muffie disappeared in the most mysterious manner, and was absent for three whole weeks.[Pg 434] From some words that I had heard the landlady’s son drop, I suspected foul play; so I went straight to the offices of the City Scavengering Department to prefer a very modest request, viz., to have all the ashpits cleaned out within a certain radius of my lodgings.

Once, in a strange town—Liverpool—Muffie vanished in the most mysterious way and was gone for three whole weeks.[Pg 434] From some comments I overheard from the landlady’s son, I suspected foul play; so I went directly to the offices of the City Waste Management Department to make a very simple request: to have all the ash pits cleaned out within a certain radius of my place.

“All this work for a cat!” said the chief inspector. “Why, such a thing has no precedent;” and he smiled at my cheek, I suppose.

“All this work for a cat!” said the chief inspector. “Honestly, there's never been anything like it;” and he smiled at my boldness, I guess.

“But,” said I, “you can make this case the precedent; and it is so valuable a cat, you know.”

“But,” I said, “you can use this case as a precedent; and it's such a valuable cat, you know.”

Aid came from an unexpected quarter. One of the officers was a Scotchman, and took my part like everything. Valuable property, he argued, had been stolen and destroyed; and if we should wait until the usual time for cleaning the ashpits, all hope of putting the blame on the right party, would be lost for ever.

Aid came from an unexpected source. One of the officers was a Scotsman and supported me wholeheartedly. He argued that valuable property had been stolen and destroyed; and if we waited until the usual time for cleaning the ash pits, we would lose all hope of putting the blame on the right person forever.

“What chance,” said his good-natured chief, “have I against two of you?” So the order was given, and the ash-pits[Pg 435] emptied. This took two or three mornings’ work, and many dead cats were found; in fact, every day I held a post-mortem examination on one or two poor brutes, and of course the men wanted a glass of grog; so that the business cost me “a power” of rum. But no dead Muffie appeared. In the meantime I had to go to London without my puss; and a few days after, Lady Muff likewise arrived by train. She had returned to my rooms at Liverpool, exactly three weeks from the day she disappeared, and had kittens one hour after.

“What chance,” said his easygoing boss, “do I have against both of you?” So the order was given, and the ash pits[Pg 435] were emptied. This took two or three mornings of work, and many dead cats were found; in fact, every day I performed a post-mortem on one or two poor animals, and of course the guys wanted a drink, so it ended up costing me “a lot” of rum. But no dead Muffie showed up. In the meantime, I had to go to London without my cat; and a few days later, Lady Muff also arrived by train. She returned to my place in Liverpool exactly three weeks after she vanished, and had kittens one hour later.

Muffie I do not think ever killed a mouse, although very fond of catching them. All she cares for is the sport. She invariably brings her little victim into my room, and placing it on the hearth-rug, looks up in my face, and mews, as much as to say,—

Muffie, I don’t think, has ever actually killed a mouse, even though she really enjoys catching them. For her, it’s all about the thrill. She always brings her little catch into my room, puts it on the hearth rug, looks up at me, and meows, as if to say,—

“Just observe, master, the fun I shall have with this little cuss; and see what a clever mouser your Muff is.”

“Just watch, master, how much fun I'm going to have with this little rascal; and see how good of a mouser your Muff is.”

While she is saying this, the mouse has escaped, but is speedily recaptured and returned to the rug. After throwing it up[Pg 436] in the air two or three times, and catching it before it falls, the wee “cowering timorous beastie” is left to its own freedom, Muffie walking away in a careless, meditative sort of mood, and the mousie makes good his escape. Not finding a hole, it hides below something, from under which something it is soon raked out again; and so the cruel game goes on, till the trembling little creature, with its shiny eyes, grows sick with hope deferred, and faints away. Seeing this, pussy, after turning it over once or twice with mittened paw, jumps on my shoulder with a fond “purr-rn,” and begins to sing. The play is over, and by-and-by the mouse revives, and is graciously permitted to retire, which it sets about doing with becoming modesty, and an air at once subdued and deprecatory. Muffie is still on my shoulder, benignly singing. Their eyes meet, and a little dialogue ensues. Mousie says, with hers,

While she’s saying this, the mouse has escaped but is quickly caught and returned to the rug. After tossing it up[Pg 436] in the air a couple of times and catching it before it falls, the little “cowering timid creature” is left to its own freedom. Muffie walks away in a careless, thoughtful mood, and the mouse makes its escape. Not finding a hole, it hides under something, but soon gets dragged out again; and so the cruel game continues until the trembling little creature, with its shining eyes, becomes sick with delayed hope and faints. Seeing this, Muffie, after turning it over a few times with her paw, jumps onto my shoulder with a gentle “purr,” and starts to sing. The play is over, and eventually, the mouse comes to and is allowed to leave, which it does with modest grace, looking both humble and apologetic. Muffie is still on my shoulder, happily singing. Their eyes meet, and a little exchange happens. The mouse communicates with its eyes,

“Oh! please, your ladyship, may I go, ma’am? I feel so all-overish; your claws are so sharp, and your teeth so dreadful; and I’m but a little, little mouse.”

“Oh! Please, your ladyship, can I go, ma’am? I feel so uneasy; your claws are so sharp, and your teeth are so scary; and I’m just a tiny, tiny mouse.”

[Pg 437]To which pussy replies,—

To which cat replies,—

“Yes; you may go. I shan’t eat you to-day; only don’t do it again.”

“Yes, you can go. I won’t eat you today; just don’t do it again.”

But why, you ask, should I permit such cruel sport? Because, intelligent and gentle reader, any interference of mine would change the play from a comedy in the parlour to a tragedy in the cellar.

But why, you ask, should I allow such cruel fun? Because, smart and kind reader, any interference on my part would turn the performance from a comedy in the living room to a tragedy in the basement.

I have neither fishing nor hunting exploits to tell of about Muffie. She is celebrated only as a great traveller, for her faithful devotion to her master, and for her care over even his property.

I have no fishing or hunting stories to share about Muffie. She's known only for being a great traveler, for her loyal dedication to her owner, and for taking care of even his belongings.

Last summer I spent a month in a beautiful sequestered village in Yorkshire. My companions were, as usual, my Newfoundland, Muffie, a pet starling, and another dog. Muffie is very much attached to this birdie, allowing it to hop about her, like a crow on a water buffalo. This starling, I think, is the most amusing little chap in all creation. He is a good linguist and an accomplished musician, and is never silent—if he is, he is either asleep or doing mischief. As he says whatever comes into his head,[Pg 438] and interlards his discourse with fragments of tunes and Bravos! the effect is at times startling. The way he jumbles his nouns together, and trots out every adjective he knows, to qualify every noun, is something worth listening to. In the summer evenings, we used to go out for long rambles in the country lanes. The dog—Theodore Nero—felt himself in duty bound on these occasions, not only to look after his master, but even to take the cat under his protection. The starling stalked flies from my shoulder. Sometimes he would stay longer snail-hunting, behind a hedge, than I deemed prudent; a glance from me was all Muffie wanted, to be after him. I would wait and listen; and presently I would hear Dick excitedly exclaiming, “Eh? eh? What is it?”—a favourite expression of his: “What is it? You rascal! you rascal!” and back he would fly to his perch, apparently quite thunderstruck at the impudence of the cat.

Last summer, I spent a month in a lovely secluded village in Yorkshire. My companions, as usual, were my Newfoundland, Muffie, a pet starling, and another dog. Muffie is very attached to this little bird, letting it hop around her like a crow on a water buffalo. I think this starling is the most entertaining little guy ever. He's a great talker and a talented musician, and he's never quiet—if he is, he's either asleep or getting into trouble. Since he says whatever comes to mind,[Pg 438] and mixes his chatter with bits of tunes and “Bravos!”, the effect can be pretty surprising. The way he jumbles his nouns together and rolls out every adjective he knows to describe every noun is definitely worth hearing. In the summer evenings, we would go for long walks in the country lanes. The dog—Theodore Nero—felt it was his duty not only to look after me but also to keep an eye on the cat. The starling would hunt flies from my shoulder. Sometimes he would spend too long snail-hunting behind a hedge for my liking; just a look from me was all Muffie needed to chase after him. I would wait and listen, and soon I'd hear Dick excitedly shout, “Eh? eh? What is it?”—a favorite phrase of his: “What is it? You rascal! you rascal!” and back he'd fly to his perch, seemingly amazed by the cat's cheekiness.

Muffie bids me say she is quite happy and all alive. And I would add, she is very[Pg 439] much all alive, most interestingly so, in fact. But that did not prevent her, last night, from preparing for me, what was doubtless meant for a very pretty surprise and a high compliment. The cats in the neighbourhood, hearing that I was writing a book in their favour, with Lady Muff as chief musician, resolved to serenade me; and they did. Being Christmas eve, I took them for the waits at first. I am sorry now that I so far forgot myself, as to throw cold water over the assembly; but I sincerely trust that they did not know, that the gentleman in white, who appeared on the balcony, and so unceremoniously checked their harmony, was the illustrious author of “Cats.”

Muffie wants me to say she’s really happy and fully alive. And I’d add, she’s definitely very[Pg 439] much alive, in fact, she’s quite interesting. But that didn’t stop her last night from preparing what was meant to be a lovely surprise and a big compliment. The cats in the neighborhood, hearing I was writing a book about them, with Lady Muff as the main musician, decided to serenade me; and they did. Since it was Christmas Eve, I initially thought they were the carolers. I regret that I forgot myself and dampened the mood, but I genuinely hope they didn’t realize that the guy in white who showed up on the balcony and interrupted their performance was the famous author of “Cats.”

 

 


CHAPTER X.

BLACK TOM, THE SKIPPER’S IMP.

BLACK TOM, THE SKIPPER'S CREW.

 

Tom’s Introduction.

Tom’s Intro.

No one in the ship had the slightest idea how Tom came on board, or who brought him, or where he came from. He made his first appearance in public while, outward bound, we were crossing the Bay of Biscay—that strange mysterious sea, beneath whose waves the bones of so many of our bravest countrymen lie bleaching. It was a roughish night, squally rather, without much sea on, but the wind changing its mind every minute, whisking into foam the crests of the inky waves, and carrying the spray far into the rigging. It was a night to try the sea-legs of any one, so jerky and uncertain was the vessel’s motion; and the oldest sailors staggered like drunken men, and were fain to cling to rigging or shrouds. I was smoking on the quarter-deck just before turning in,—it had gone six bells[13] in the first watch, and[Pg 441] everything was snug for the night, when something black as Erebus whisked past me, visible but for a moment in the binnacle’s light, and disappeared in the darkness forward. I looked inquiringly at the man at the wheel, a serious old seamen, who, in answer to my mute appeal, turned his quid twice in his mouth and, addressing the compass, “That’s the devil, sir,” said he, “begging your pardon, sir. Came on board to-night when we close-reefed topsails durin’ a squall.”

No one on the ship had the slightest clue how Tom got aboard, who brought him, or where he came from. He first showed up in public while we were heading out, crossing the Bay of Biscay—that strange, mysterious sea where the bones of so many of our bravest countrymen lie bleached. It was a rough night, a bit squally, with not much sea, but the wind kept changing direction every minute, whipping the tops of the dark waves into foam and spraying water far into the rigging. It was a night that would test anyone's sea legs, as the vessel rocked jerkily and unpredictably; even the oldest sailors staggered like they were drunk, clinging to the rigging or shrouds for support. I was smoking on the quarter-deck just before turning in—it had just gone six bells in the first watch, and everything was secure for the night—when something black as pitch rushed past me, visible only for a moment in the binnacle light, before disappearing into the darkness ahead. I glanced questioningly at the man at the wheel, a serious old sailor, who, responding to my silent inquiry, turned his tobacco twice in his mouth and, addressing the compass, said, “That’s the devil, sir,” he replied, “if you'll pardon me, sir. Came on board tonight when we close-reefed the topsails during a squall.”

There was nothing disrespectful in the man’s tone or bearing; indeed he spoke almost with an air of solemnity.

There was nothing disrespectful in the man's tone or demeanor; in fact, he spoke almost with an air of seriousness.

“Usual accompaniment, I suppose,” said I, laughing; “blue fire, and a perfume not Rimmelian.”

“Just the usual, I guess,” I said, laughing; “blue fire, and a scent that’s definitely not Rimmel.”

“Dunno what ship that is, sir,” said he somewhat curtly; “but there was a flash, young gentleman.”

“Don't know what ship that is, sir,” he said a bit curtly; “but there was a flash, young man.”

Seeing the man was disinclined to continue the subject, I went below, and, thanks to the ship’s motion, was soon in the land of dreams.

Seeing the man wasn't very keen to keep talking about it, I went below deck, and, because of the ship's movement, I quickly fell asleep.

Next day broke bright and clear; both wind[Pg 442] and cloud had fled; the sea had gone down, and the vessel was under easy sail. A flock of gulls were circling in the morning air, screaming with delight as they picked the crumbs that floated astern; and all went merrily oh!

Next day started off bright and clear; both wind[Pg 442] and clouds had disappeared; the sea had calmed down, and the ship was sailing comfortably. A flock of gulls circled in the morning air, screeching with joy as they snatched the crumbs that drifted behind; everything felt cheerful!

Presently the commander[14] came up, looking anything but sweet; and all hands were immediately summoned aft for a speech. “Officers and men of Her Majesty’s gunboat Tickler, contrary to the customs and rules of the service, and without my knowledge, to say nothing of sanction, I find that a cat has been brought on board. Will the officer or man who owns the animal kindly step forward?”

Presently, the commander[14] came up, looking far from pleasant; and everyone was immediately called to the back for a speech. “Officers and crew of Her Majesty’s gunboat Tickler, against the customs and rules of the service, and without my knowledge, not to mention approval, I’ve discovered that a cat has been brought on board. Will the officer or crew member who owns the animal please step forward?”

Here the officers, verbally, and the men, by their silence, disclaimed all ownership of poor puss.

Here the officers, by speaking, and the men, by staying silent, denied any ownership of the poor cat.

“Then,” continued the commanding officer, “as no one seems to own it, I have but one course. Bring up the cat.”

“Then,” continued the commanding officer, “since no one seems to claim it, I have only one option. Bring up the cat.”

[Pg 443]All eyes were instantly turned towards the stern grating, which naturally caused the captain to wheel round; and there, sure enough, as mim as a mouse, with his tail curled round his legs for warmth, and looking on the very best of terms with himself and all creation, sat a large black Tom cat. He lowered his brows as he returned the skipper’s glance, and his eyes sparkled crimson and green. “Midshipman of the watch,” was the order, “see that cat overboard.”

[Pg 443]Everyone immediately turned their attention to the stern grating, which made the captain turn around; and there, as quiet as a mouse, with his tail wrapped around his legs for warmth and looking completely satisfied with himself and everything around him, sat a large black tomcat. He narrowed his eyes as he met the skipper’s gaze, and his eyes sparkled red and green. “Midshipman of the watch,” was the order, “get that cat overboard.”

“Ay ay, sir,” sang out the middy. “Forenoon watch, cat walks the plank, heave with a will—cheerily does it.”

“Ay ay, sir,” shouted the midshipman. “Morning watch, cat walks the plank, heave with all your might—let's do this cheerfully.”

Puss was on his legs in a moment, back erect, hair on end, and tail like a bottle-brush, spitting, sputtering, and behaving altogether in a “highly mutinous and insubordinate” manner. This conduct very nearly led to a fatal termination, by a whole shower of belaying-pins, which, however, hurtled harmlessly over his head. “An inch of a miss is as good as a mile,” thought Tom; “while there’s life there’s hope, and I’ll give you a race for it, my lads.” And he cleared the[Pg 444] deck at three bounds, and dived below, followed by the whole watch. Three minutes’ trampling and howling below, then up through the fore hatch came pursuers and pursued, pussy leading and the sailors astern. Up the rigging shinned the cat.

Puss was on his feet in no time, standing tall, fur bristled, and tail like a bottle brush, hissing, growling, and acting completely “rebellious and defiant.” This behavior almost led to a dangerous situation, with a shower of belaying pins that zoomed harmlessly over his head. “A near miss is still a miss,” thought Tom; “as long as there’s life, there’s hope, and I’ll give you a run for it, guys.” He jumped off the[Pg 444] deck in three leaps and dove below, with the entire crew following. After three minutes of stomping and shouting below, the pursuers and the pursued burst up through the fore hatch, with the cat in the lead and the sailors trailing behind. The cat climbed up the rigging.

“Follow your leader,” roared the men.

“Follow your leader,” yelled the men.

The chase now became general and most exciting; and with a cheer all hands joined, evidently more for the fun of the thing, than with any intention of harming the cat. Up the rigging and down the stays, alow and aloft, out on the flying jib-boom and along the hammock nettings. Sure never before were such feats of agility seen on board a British Man o’ War; the men seemed monkeys, the cat the devil incarnate. With a strength seemingly supernatural, Tom at length scrambled up, and took refuge above the main truck where the Dutch Admiral of old hoisted the broom, swearing, as only Dutchmen can, that he would sweep the English from the sea; and the men returned to the deck, gasping and red from their futile exertions, to await further orders.

The chase quickly turned into a wild and exciting situation; everyone jumped in with a cheer, clearly more for fun than to actually harm the cat. They scrambled up the rigging and back down the stays, high and low, out on the flying jib-boom and across the hammock netting. Never before had such displays of agility been seen aboard a British Man o’ War; the men moved like monkeys, while the cat seemed like the devil himself. With what seemed like supernatural strength, Tom finally climbed up and found refuge above the main truck, where the old Dutch Admiral once raised the broom, swearing, as only Dutchmen can, that he would sweep the English from the sea. The men made their way back to the deck, panting and flushed from their pointless efforts, waiting for further instructions.

Black Tom speaks a Piece.

Black Tom shares a Thought.

“Curses on the brute!” muttered the commander. “Am I to sail the seas with a black cat on my main-truck? Steward, bring my revolver.” The revolver was brought, but the captain’s aim seemed unsteady; he fired all the six chambers, without any further result than chipping the main-top-gallant yard. Poor Tom, seeing the serious turn matters had taken, and that his death was compassed, determined to speak a few words in his own behalf; and with this intention he lifted up his fore-paw, and, now looking below, now appealing to heaven, he delivered an harangue, the like of which none of us had ever listened to on shore, much less afloat. His meaning, however, was perfectly plain.

“Damn that beast!” muttered the commander. “Do I have to sail the seas with a black cat on my mast? Steward, bring me my revolver.” The revolver was brought, but the captain's aim seemed off; he fired all six shots, with no result other than chipping the main-top-gallant yard. Poor Tom, realizing how serious things had become and that he was marked for death, decided to say a few words for himself; and with that in mind, he raised his forepaw, looking around now and then, and delivered a speech unlike anything any of us had ever heard on land, let alone at sea. His intent, however, was perfectly clear.

Around him, he said, behold a waste of waters; he was far from land; he had no boat; and though he knew he could swim, although he never tried, he would rather die than wet his feet. Had we no compassion, no bowels of mercies? He wanted to harm nobody.[Pg 446] What good could shooting him do? He was willing to remain where he then stood for the rest of the voyage, in fact to do anything or everything, if his life were only spared.

Around him, he said, look at this expanse of water; he was far from shore; he had no boat; and although he knew he could swim, since he had never tried, he would rather die than get his feet wet. Did we have no compassion, no kindness? He wanted to hurt nobody.[Pg 446] What good would it do to shoot him? He was willing to stay right where he was for the rest of the journey, in fact, he would do anything or everything, as long as his life was spared.

The captain smiled. “I thought,” said he, “I was a better shot; however, give the devil his due.” And he ordered all hands to treat the cat kindly, if ever he came below again. Tom retained his elevated seat for fully two hours, and finally fell sound asleep. Waking calm and refreshed, and perhaps somewhat dizzy, he stretched himself a leg at a time, for he hadn’t much room, yawned, did an attitude, and came slowly down on deck. He walked at once to the quarter-deck; and, to show that he harboured no ill-feeling, he actually went and rubbed his big black head against the captain’s leg.

The captain smiled. “I thought,” he said, “I was a better shot; still, give the devil his due.” He then ordered everyone to treat the cat kindly if he ever came below again. Tom kept his elevated spot for a full two hours and eventually fell sound asleep. When he woke up feeling calm and refreshed, and maybe a little dizzy, he stretched one leg at a time since there wasn't much room, yawned, did a little stretch, and slowly came down to the deck. He walked straight to the quarter-deck; to show that he held no grudges, he even went over and rubbed his big black head against the captain’s leg.

 

Tom becomes Ship’s Cat.

Tom is now the Ship's Cat.

Henceforward Tom was no longer a mere passenger on board; his name was borne on the ship’s books, and he was tolerated both by officers and men. Somehow, Tom became[Pg 447] no favourite. The questionable manner in which he had made his first appearance, and the latent devil that seemed to lurk in his eye, acted like a spell on the natural superstitions of the sailors, more than one of whom was heard to express an opinion that “That black——(alliterative term of endearment used by British seamen) will bring the ship no good luck.”

From then on, Tom wasn't just a passenger anymore; his name was listed on the ship's records, and both the officers and crew put up with him. Somehow, Tom became[Pg 447] no one's favorite. The shady way he had first shown up and the hidden mischief that seemed to linger in his eyes played into the sailors' natural superstitions. More than one of them was heard saying, “That black— (alliterative term of endearment used by British seamen) will bring the ship no good luck.”

Now, whether out of gratitude for having his life spared, or for some other feline motive known only to puss, certain it is, that Tom attached himself to our commander, and to no one else on board; for whenever that officer came on deck, so did the cat, trotting by his side and enlivening his walk by a song. When any other gentleman happened to be walking with the captain, Tom used to take his station on the hammock nettings and follow every motion of his beloved adopted master with eyes that beamed with admiration. This show of affection was at first indignantly resented by the skipper, and many a good kick Tom used to have for his pains; but the more he was kicked the louder[Pg 448] he sang, so at long last, yielding to the force of circumstances, the skipper ceased to mind him, and the two became inseparable.

Now, whether it was out of gratitude for having his life saved or some other cat reason known only to him, it's clear that Tom attached himself to our commander and no one else on board. Whenever that officer came on deck, the cat would trot by his side, making his walk more lively with a song. When any other gentleman happened to be walking with the captain, Tom would take his place on the hammock netting and follow every movement of his beloved adopted master with eyes full of admiration. This display of affection was initially met with anger by the skipper, and Tom often received a good kick for his trouble; but the more he was kicked, the louder he sang, so eventually, the skipper gave in to the situation and stopped minding him, and the two became inseparable.

 

Tom Goes on Shore for a Walk.

Tom Goes Ashore for a Stroll.

Nothing very unusual happened during our long voyage to the Cape. Tom went on shore at St. Helena, like any other officer, and it was fondly hoped he would take up his abode on that beautiful island. But having visited the principal places of interest, nearly murdered a poor little dog in James Town, and—this is only conjecture—taken a rat or two at Napoleon’s tomb, Tom came off again in the officers’ boat.

Nothing particularly unusual happened during our long journey to the Cape. Tom went ashore at St. Helena, just like any other officer, and everyone hoped he would settle on that beautiful island. However, after visiting the main attractions, nearly hurting a little dog in Jamestown, and—this is just a guess—catching a rat or two at Napoleon’s tomb, Tom returned in the officers’ boat.

 

On Board Again.

On Board Again.

The cat might in time have come to be a general favourite in the ship; but he suffered no advances to be made by “any man Jack,” as the saying is, and scowled so unmistakably when any one attempted to stroke him, that he was unanimously voted to Coventry, and allowed to do what he liked. Tom had a regular allowance of ship’s provisions, like any one else, but his greatest treat was milk[Pg 449] (preserved) and rum thickened with oatmeal. For this he used to come regularly once, and often twice a-day, to the dispensary. His favourite seat was on the weather bulwarks; and there he would often remain for hours, gazing thoughtfully down in the blue clear depths of the tropical ocean.

The cat might have eventually become a favorite on the ship, but he didn't allow "any man Jack," as the saying goes, to make any advances toward him. He glared so clearly when someone tried to pet him that he was unanimously sent to Coventry and was allowed to do whatever he wanted. Tom received a regular amount of ship's provisions, just like everyone else, but his favorite treat was preserved milk[Pg 449] and rum thickened with oatmeal. For this, he would come by regularly once, and often twice a day, to the dispensary. His favorite spot was on the weather bulwarks, where he would often sit for hours, gazing thoughtfully down into the clear blue depths of the tropical ocean.

“He do be counting the jelly-fish and looking for sharks,” one man remarked.

“He's counting the jellyfish and looking for sharks,” one man remarked.

“Nay,” said another, “he’s a-thinking o’ home. May-be, he has left a wife and babies in old England.”

“Nah,” said another, “he’s thinking about home. Maybe he has a wife and kids back in England.”

“Then,” said the first speaker, “what a tarnation fool he was, not to stop on shore. Sure, no one sent for him.”

“Then,” said the first speaker, “what a complete fool he was for not staying on shore. Seriously, no one called for him.”

“Hush,” said the first, “he’s an evil spirit, Bill, as sure as a gun; and he belongs to—

“Hush,” said the first, “he’s an evil spirit, Bill, for sure; and he belongs to—

The Skipper.

The Captain.

You may easily guess from the foregoing conversation, that the captain himself was no great favourite. He was a little red-haired foxy-faced man, a Scotchman (save the luck), but a Scotchman who hated the land of his forefathers,—

You can easily tell from the previous conversation that the captain wasn’t very popular. He was a small, red-haired guy with a sly face, a Scotsman (if you can believe it), but he was a Scotsman who despised his homeland,—

“Whose heart had ne’er within him burned,” etc., etc.,

“Whose heart had never burned within him,” etc., etc.,

[Pg 450]in fact, retaining but one trait of Scottish character, namely his love for Scotch drink. Once round the Cape, and north on our cruising ground—the Mozambique Channel, the skipper shone out in his true colours. His face and nose got daily redder; and the sinister smile that seemed printed there never left his lips. Such a smile I have never seen before nor since, except on the face of a Somali Indian. The first victims to the skipper’s wrath were the poor black Kroomen, one of whom was always stationed at the mast head, to look out for strange sails. Now the commander had an eye like a fish-hawk, and generally managed to sight a vessel before even the out-look. God help the out-look when this occurred. He was ordered down at once, and in one minute more was lashed to the rigging by both wrists, and writhing and shrieking for mercy under the infliction of two dozen with a rope’s end, laid on by the sturdy arms of a fellow Krooman. The men, for the slightest offence, had their grog stopped for a week or weeks; and as the proceeds went to swell the[Pg 451] sick-fund—a fund to purchase comforts for the patients—I had usually more money in my hands than I knew how to expend, until I happily thought of a plan to get rid of the surplus cash.

[Pg 450]actually, keeping just one aspect of Scottish character, which is his fondness for Scotch whiskey. Once we rounded the Cape and headed north into our cruising area—the Mozambique Channel—the captain revealed his true self. His face and nose became redder every day, and the creepy smile that seemed permanently etched on his lips never faded. I've never seen such a smile before or since, except on a Somali Indian. The first targets of the captain’s anger were the poor black Kroomen, one of whom was always stationed at the masthead to look out for unfamiliar sails. Now, the captain had an eye like a hawk and usually spotted a ship before the lookout did. Woe to the lookout when that happened. He was ordered down immediately and, within a minute, was tied to the rigging by both wrists, writhing and screaming for mercy while taking two dozen lashes with a rope from a fellow Krooman. The men, for the smallest infractions, had their rum rations cut off for a week or more; and since the fines went to boost the [Pg 451] sick fund—a fund meant to buy comforts for patients—I often found myself with more money than I knew how to spend until I happily came up with a plan to get rid of the extra cash.

“Brown,” I would say to an officer, after the cloth had been removed, “you look unusually seedy to-day; in fact,” looking round the mess, “you all look rather pale; effects of climate, poor devils. I am afraid I have hardly done my duty towards you. Steward, bring in those bananas from the sick-bay, bring also the pineapples, the mangoes, the oranges, the ground nuts, a pomola, and a bottle of madeira. Liquor up, my lads, let us drink the skipper’s health. The sick-bay fund is unusually flourishing, so don’t forget in every port we come to, to ask me for honey for your rum, milk for your tea, and orange-blossom to perfume your cabins withal.”

“Brown,” I said to an officer after they took the cloth away, “you look a bit worn out today; in fact,” I glanced around the mess, “you all seem pretty pale; must be the climate, you poor guys. I’m afraid I haven’t been very supportive of you. Steward, bring in those bananas from the sick-bay, and also the pineapples, mangoes, oranges, groundnuts, a pomelo, and a bottle of madeira. Let’s raise a glass, my friends, to the captain’s health. The sick-bay fund is doing really well, so don’t forget to ask me for honey for your rum, milk for your tea, and orange blossom to scent your cabins whenever we hit a new port.”

Anything approaching insubordination among the boys or men or board was punished with flogging—four dozen lashes, with a different bo’swain’s mate to each dozen, was the usual dose.

Anything resembling insubordination among the boys, men, or crew was punished with flogging—four dozen lashes, with a different bosun's mate for each dozen, was the usual punishment.

Tom at a Flogging.

Tom at a whipping.

Tuesday was flogging day; and to add, if possible, to the terror of the condemned wretch, after the gratings were rigged and the man stripped and lashed thereto, sawdust was sprinkled on the deck all round, to soak up the blood. But at every flogging match

Tuesday was whipping day; and to make the situation even more terrifying for the condemned person, after the restraints were set up and the man was stripped and secured to them, sawdust was scattered on the deck all around to absorb the blood. But at every whipping event

“There sat auld Nick in shape o’ beast,”

“There sat old Nick in the form of a beast,”

at least in the shape of Tom the cat, who would not have missed the fun for all the world. There on the bulwark he would sit, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction, his mouth squared, and his beard all a-bristle. He seemed to count every dull thud of his nine-tailed namesake, and emitted short sharp mews of joy when, towards the middle of the third dozen, the blood began to trickle and get sprinkled about on sheet and shroud. Though I never disliked Tom, still, at times such as these, I really believed he was the devil himself as reputed, and would have given two months’ pay for a chance to brain him. When the flogging was over, Tom used to jump down and, purring loudly, rub his head against his master’s leg.

at least in the form of Tom the cat, who wouldn’t have missed the fun for anything. There on the railing he would sit, his eyes shining with satisfaction, his mouth set, and his fur all bristled. He seemed to count every dull thud of his nine-tailed namesake and let out quick, sharp meows of joy when, toward the middle of the third dozen, the blood started to trickle and get splattered on the sheets and shroud. Although I never truly disliked Tom, still, at moments like these, I really thought he was the devil himself as rumored, and would have given two months’ pay for a chance to take him down. When the flogging was over, Tom would jump down and, purring loudly, rub his head against his master’s leg.

[Pg 453]By at least one half of the crew, Tom was assuredly believed to be—if not old Nick himself—possessed of an evil spirit. A good deal of mumbo jumbo work therefore went on, for the men tried to find favour in Tom’s eyes, and many a dainty morsel did this cat of evil repute thus receive; so that he grew and flourished like a green bay-tree, while his coat got glossier and his figure plumper every day.

[Pg 453]At least half of the crew definitely believed that Tom was—if not the devil himself—possessed by an evil spirit. A lot of superstitious rituals took place because the men tried to win Tom's favor, and this notorious cat received plenty of tasty treats; as a result, he thrived like a healthy tree, with a shinier coat and a plumper figure each day.

 

How Tom used to Fish.

How Tom Used to Fish.

Although well fed and cared for, Tom at times used to forage for himself, not that I ever heard he was a thief—to his honour be it written; but he fished, and very successfully too, without so much as wetting the soles of his beautiful pumps. His modus operandi was as follows.

Although well-fed and taken care of, Tom sometimes liked to catch his own food, not that I ever heard he was a thief—credit to him for that; but he fished, and he was quite good at it, without even getting the bottoms of his nice shoes wet. His modus operandi was as follows.

On dark nights in the tropical seas, he used to perch himself on the bulwarks aft, and bend his glittering eyes downwards into the sea. He never sat long thus without a flying-fish, sometimes two, jumping past him or over him, and alighting on deck. Then[Pg 454] Tom would descend, and have a delightful supper, and if not fully satisfied resume his seat and continue the sport. Tom must have gained his knowledge from experience, although the success of his method of fishing is easily explained. It is well known that these fish always fly towards a light, which is therefore often used by the sailors to catch them. The cat required no other light save the glimmering of his two eyes, which in the dark shone like a couple of koh-i-noors.

On dark nights in the tropical seas, he would settle on the railing at the back and gaze down into the water with his shining eyes. He never sat for long like this without a flying fish, sometimes two, leaping past him or over him and landing on the deck. Then[Pg 454] Tom would go down and enjoy a delicious supper, and if he wasn't completely satisfied, he would go back to his spot and continue the hunt. Tom must have learned from experience, although why his method of fishing worked is easy to understand. It's well known that these fish always fly towards a light, which sailors often use to catch them. The cat needed no other light except the glow of his two eyes, which shone like a pair of diamonds in the dark.

 

Tom Takes Charge of a Gun.

Tom Takes Control of a Gun.

Tom was in the habit of going to sleep, in the large pivot gun we used for shelling running-away slavers. For a forenoon nap nothing could have suited him better; it combined the pleasures of solitude with retirement, and moreover was both dark and cool. One fine sunny day, we were in chase of a particularly fast dhow, which, taking no heed of our signal howitzers, evinced a strong disposition to edge in towards the shore, the order was accordingly[Pg 455] given to fire at her with our Big Ben. Before loading, the gunner keeked in to see that all was clear, and sure enough there was Tom, by no means pleased at being disturbed in his siesta. Neither could any amount of “cheety-pussying” entice him from his snuggery, while tickling with the end of a ramrod only made him spit and sputter, and make use of bad language.

Tom was used to taking a nap in the big pivot gun we had for shelling fleeing slave ships. For a morning nap, it was perfect; it had the benefits of solitude and privacy, plus it was dark and cool. One sunny day, we were chasing a particularly fast dhow that, ignoring our signal howitzers, seemed determined to head towards the shore. We gave the order to fire at her with our Big Ben. Before loading, the gunner peeked in to make sure everything was clear, and sure enough, there was Tom, not at all happy about being interrupted during his nap. No amount of “cheety-pussying” could coax him out of his cozy spot, and tickling him with the end of a ramrod only made him spit and curse.

“What’s the delay?” cried the captain.

“What’s taking so long?” yelled the captain.

“Cat in possession of gun, sir,” was the reply.

"Cat has a gun, sir," was the reply.

“Dear me! dear me!” whined the captain. “Rouse him out, and be quick about it.”

“Goodness gracious! Hurry up!” complained the captain. “Wake him up, and do it fast.”

After a pause.

After a break.

“He won’t rouse out no-how, sir,” said the gunner.

“He won’t wake up, sir,” said the gunner.

“I’m hanged” roared the skipper, “if that rascally dhow isn’t landing her slaves inshore. Rouse him out I say. Fire a fuse—confound the cat.”

“I’m hanged,” the captain shouted, “if that sneaky dhow isn’t bringing her slaves ashore. Wake him up, I say. Light a fuse—confound the cat.

“Shoal water ahead, sir,” from the man at the mast-head.

“Shallow water ahead, sir,” called out the man at the masthead.

“Hard a port, stand by both anchors,”[Pg 456] and round we went just in time to save us. In the meantime a fuse had been inserted in the touch-hole of the gun. Bang! and thus attacked in rear, Tom came out of the gun faster than ever he had done in his life, and took to the rigging, with hair on-end and eyes all a-flame.

“Turn hard to port, and get both anchors ready,”[Pg 456] and we turned just in time to save ourselves. Meanwhile, a fuse had been lit in the touch-hole of the gun. Bang! Attacked from behind, Tom shot out of the gun faster than he ever had in his life and climbed into the rigging, hair standing up and eyes blazing.

“Lower away the first and second cutters,” was now the order. “It shan’t be said, that a cursed cat kept us from capturing a lawful prize. D—— the beast.”

“Lower away the first and second cutters,” was now the order. “It shouldn’t be said that a cursed cat kept us from catching a legitimate prize. Damn the beast.”

(For the benefit of those who love strong language alias swearing, it must here be stated, that in courtesy to my lady readers I abstain from giving the skipper’s language verbatim, for in that respect he would have pleased a Lancashire coal-heaver; he was a don in the use of expletives, although, to his credit be it recorded, while freely launching forth anathemas at the limbs of his men, and consigning their eyes to perpetual punishment, he just as freely let his own eyes have it. Oh, he wasn’t particular by any means; he gave it to us all alike—officers and men, cat and Kroo-boys.)

(For those who appreciate strong language, or swearing, I should mention that out of respect for my lady readers, I won’t share the skipper’s words exactly, as he could easily have satisfied a Lancashire coal worker. He was an expert at using expletives, although it’s worth noting that while he freely cursed his crew and wished eternal punishment on their eyes, he just as readily directed his anger toward his own. He wasn’t selective at all; he dished it out equally to everyone—officers and crew alike.)

[Pg 457]He captured that slaver though—went in the boats personally to do it, and that night the sea was lighted up for miles with a blaze, that spoiled pussy’s fishing for once. It was a caution to slavers on shore and sharks at sea. At a good mile’s distance we could see to read our last letters from home, by the light of that burning dhow. We were not surprised to see the captain come on board, black with smoke and begrimed with gunpowder, for we had heard desultory firing, but we were slightly taken aback to see Tom meet him in the gangway, and to observe the captain stoop down and tenderly caress him. Perhaps he wanted to make up to him, for his former roughness.

[Pg 457]He caught that slaver, though—he went out in the boats himself to do it, and that night the sea was lit up for miles with a blaze that ruined pussy’s fishing for once. It served as a warning to slavers on shore and sharks at sea. From a good mile away, we could read our last letters from home by the light of that burning dhow. We weren’t surprised to see the captain come aboard, covered in smoke and dirtied with gunpowder, since we had heard some sporadic firing, but we were a bit taken aback to see Tom meet him in the gangway and to watch the captain bend down and gently stroke him. Maybe he wanted to make amends for his previous roughness.

“I’ve given that chap Carrickfergus,” he remarked, in a sort of a general way to us officers; and to me he added, “I suppose the men may have a glass of grog, doctor.”

“I’ve given that guy Carrickfergus,” he said, generally addressing us officers; and then he added to me, “I guess the men can have a drink, doctor.”

“Certainly,” I said. “Steward, splice the main brace.” Then the skipper dived below and got drunk, which he had the knack of doing on the very shortest notice.

“Sure,” I said. “Steward, take care of the main brace.” Then the captain went below deck and got drunk, which he was really good at doing on a moment's notice.

The Cat’s “Cantrips.”

The Cat's "Spells."

Of Tom’s adventures on board the saucy little Tickler, very much could be written. Somehow, he never was safely out of one scrape till into another. A dear wee mongoose was once brought on board, and would doubtless have become a great pet, if Tom had not broken its back on the first night of its arrival. A monkey was received as a visitor, and with him Tom at once declared war, and kept it up to the bitter end. The monkey’s favourite mode of attack, was to run aloft with a belaying-pin, and biding his time, let it drop as if by accident on poor pussy’s head. But Tom let him have it sharp and fierce, whenever he caught him. Once I remember the monkey was sitting on his hind-quarters on deck, stuffing his cheeks with cockroaches, and looking as serious as a judge. Tom spied him, and ran cautiously along the bulwarks, then springing on his foe, he seized him round the neck with one arm, and with the other administered such a drubbing, as the poor[Pg 459] thing never had before in his life. The monkey with bleeding face, at length escaped to the maintop, and there cried itself asleep.

Of Tom’s adventures on board the saucy little Tickler, a lot could be written. Somehow, he never safely got out of one trouble before diving into another. A little mongoose was once brought on board and would have definitely become a great pet if Tom hadn't accidentally broken its back on the first night after it arrived. A monkey was welcomed as a visitor, and right away, Tom declared war on him, which continued until the bitter end. The monkey's favorite way to attack was to climb up high with a belaying-pin and, waiting for the right moment, drop it like it was an accident on poor kitty’s head. But Tom didn’t hold back and let him have it hard whenever he caught him. I remember once the monkey was sitting on his hindquarters on deck, stuffing his cheeks with cockroaches, and looking as serious as a judge. Tom spotted him and crept along the bulwarks; then, springing onto his enemy, he grabbed him around the neck with one arm and gave him such a beating that the poor[Pg 459] thing had never experienced before in his life. The monkey, with a bleeding face, eventually escaped to the maintop, where he cried himself to sleep.

Whether or not Tom was the Jonas, who caused all the mishaps that fell upon our little vessel during that four years’ cruise, I shall not pretend to say, although all hands forward firmly believed he was. Like the witch-wife in Allan Ramsay’s Gentle Shepherd—Tom

Whether or not Tom was the one who caused all the troubles that hit our little boat during that four-year cruise, I won’t pretend to know, even though everyone up front strongly believed he was. Like the witch-wife in Allan Ramsay’s Gentle Shepherd—Tom

“Got the wyte o’ a’ fell oot;”

“Got the weight of it all fell out;”

and certainly Snarley-yow and his master were never more detested than that black cat, and the skipper eventually came to be.

and definitely Snarley-yow and his owner were never more hated than that black cat, and the captain eventually came to be.

 

Life-Boat’s Crew, Ahoy!

Life-Boat Crew, Ahoy!

Once, I remember, we experienced a spell of weather so dark and unsettled, that a general gloom prevailed in the ship fore and aft. We were rounding the Cape in mid-winter. First we had a gale of wind, our bulwarks stove in forward, and a boat washed overboard. Then several days with no wind, but a heavy sea on, and the horizon close aboard of us on every side. The[Pg 460] nights were pitchy dark, with thunder and lightning so appalling that no one thought of turning in, till far on in the middle watch. Scenes like these can never be described. They are painted with the finger of awe on the beholder’s memory, and time cannot efface them. I can see even now our little vessel, hanging bows on to the side of that dark wave, the hill of water rising above us, the inky gulph beneath, her wet and slippery decks, and the faces of the men that cling to the cordage, ghastly in the lightning’s glare. A moment more and we are on the brow of the wave, then down we drive into the very trough of the sea, where, for a few seconds, the ship lies trembling, as if every timber in her sides was instinct with life. On such a night as this Tom fell overboard. This may seem like a descent from the sublime to the ridiculous. It is a fact, however, and was a very disagreeable descent indeed for poor Tom. The life-buoy was almost instantly fired and let go by the commander himself, who alone saw the accident.

I remember a time when we faced some really dark and unsettled weather that cast a general haze over the ship from bow to stern. We were rounding the Cape in the middle of winter. First, there was a fierce gale that smashed our bulwarks at the front and swept a boat overboard. Then we had several days with no wind, just heavy swells all around us. The nights were pitch black, with thunder and lightning so terrifying that nobody thought about going to bed until late into the watch. Scenes like these are impossible to describe. They're etched in your memory with awe, and time can't erase them. I can still see our small vessel, bow pointed into the face of that dark wave, the towering water rising above us, the dark abyss below, her wet and slippery decks, and the pale faces of the men clinging to the ropes, ghostly in the lightning's flash. In a moment, we would be at the crest of the wave, then plunging down into the very trough of the sea, where, for a few seconds, the ship would be trembling as if every timber in her sides was alive. On a night like this, Tom fell overboard. This might seem like a drop from the dramatic to the absurd, but it’s a true story, and it was a very unpleasant fall for poor Tom. The life buoy was almost immediately launched by the captain himself, who was the only one to witness the accident.

[Pg 461]“Ease her! stop her!” he roared. “Away life-boat’s crew!”

[Pg 461]“Hold her steady! Stop her!” he shouted. “Get the lifeboat crew!”

Up tumbled the crew, the boat was lowered, and in two minutes more they had dropped astern, and were pulling with might and main for the now distant life-buoy. The storm had by this time passed over, save an occasional flash of lightning. For fully ten minutes, each time we rose on the crest of a great wave, we could distinctly see the life-buoy’s light, burning bright and beacon-like, away to leeward of us; then it flickered feebly, and finally went out.

Up came the crew, the boat was lowered, and in just two more minutes they had drifted back and were rowing with all their strength towards the now distant life buoy. The storm had mostly passed now, except for the occasional flash of lightning. For a full ten minutes, every time we rose on the crest of a large wave, we could clearly see the life buoy’s light, shining brightly and serving as a beacon to our side; then it flickered weakly and finally went out.

“Gracious heavens!” exclaimed the Captain, “that light was never extinguished: it has gone out.” Five minutes, ten, fifteen minutes elapsed in dead silence. We leant over the bulwarks, and could feel our hearts throbbing against them, as we peered into the darkness and listened for the slightest sound; only an occasional glimmer played along the horizon, only now and then the splash of a breaking wave. Hours passed by, and still no signal from the deep, to tell us aught of life was there; and all that long[Pg 462] dismal night, rockets were let off, bluelights burned, and big guns fired. But the sea gave never a sign. How anxious we all were! No one had a thought of retiring. The captain spent his time in alternately pacing frantically up and down the deck, and in diving down below,—we all knew for what. At last he wept like a child, and tore his hair out in handfuls. I felt sorry for him at first, until I heard him curse his own evil fate, because his fourteen years’ service would all be lost. It was self not the poor men he was thinking of.

“Good heavens!” the Captain exclaimed, “that light was never turned off: it has gone out.” Five minutes, ten, fifteen minutes passed in complete silence. We leaned over the ship’s railing, our hearts pounding against it as we stared into the darkness and listened for any sound; just the occasional flicker along the horizon and the sporadic splash of a breaking wave. Hours went by, and still no signal from the depths, offering us any hint of life down there; throughout that long[Pg 462] dismal night, rockets were shot off, flares burned, and cannons fired. But the sea gave no sign. We were all so anxious! No one even thought about going to sleep. The captain spent his time pacing up and down the deck in a frenzy and going below deck—we all knew why. Finally, he wept like a child and ripped his hair out by the handfuls. I felt sorry for him at first, until I heard him curse his own bad luck, mourning the loss of his fourteen years of service. He wasn’t thinking about the poor men; it was just himself.

But the longest time has an end, and morning came at last, and just as the horizon was becoming dimly visible through the rising mist, and silence was reigning fore and aft—for both men and officers were tired out with suspense and long watching—we were all startled and rendered as wide awake as ever we were in our lives. For, borne along on the morning air—breeze it could hardly be called—came a faint shout. One moment all hands listened: it was repeated.

But even the longest time has to end, and finally morning arrived. Just as the horizon became faintly visible through the rising mist, and complete silence filled the air—everyone, from the crew to the officers, was exhausted from the tension and long hours of watching—we were all suddenly jolted alert, more awake than we had ever been. Carried on the morning air—though it could hardly be called a breeze—came a faint shout. For a moment, everyone paused to listen: it was repeated.

[Pg 463]“Shout, my lads,” cried the captain, all his manhood returning at once; and such a ringing cheer was sent over the waters, as only could proceed from the lungs of Britain’s sailors.

[Pg 463]“Shout, my guys,” called the captain, feeling all his strength return at once; and a loud cheer erupted over the waters, like only Britain’s sailors could make.

[15]My! how every face brightened; and, my! how every eye glanced and glittered, as that boat loomed out from the fog. She was soon alongside, all hands were safe, and the first on board was the skipper’s imp. There was one old sailor who had been very quiet all the night, but who now burst into such sobbing as I never heard before. The poor man’s son had been in the boat.

[15]Wow! Every face lit up; and, wow! Every eye sparkled and shone as that boat appeared from the fog. She was soon alongside, everyone was safe, and the first one on board was the skipper’s imp. There was one old sailor who had been very quiet all night, but who now broke into a sobbing like I’ve never heard before. The poor man’s son had been in the boat.

Did we splice the main-brace? Rather. We spliced it on deck, and we went below to the ward-room and spliced it again; in fact that main brace took a good deal of splicing, then we turned in and slept till noon, and I dreamt I was spliced myself.

Did we splice the main brace? Absolutely. We spliced it on deck, then went below to the wardroom and spliced it again; in fact, that main brace needed quite a bit of splicing, then we turned in and slept until noon, and I dreamed I was spliced myself.

 

Ship on Fire.

Ship on Fire.

If I remember rightly, we were somewhere[Pg 464] in lat. 17° South, and a good way off land. We had been cracking on all the forenoon under steam, after a Northern slave-ship, which we had finally boarded, captured, and taken in tow. A fine pair of heels she had shown us too. We had to burn hams to get within shot of her. But we did at last, and there she was, with a prize crew on board, and the fiery old Arabs glaring like evil spirits at us as they leaned over her taffrail. A breeze had sprung up towards four o’clock, and the orders were given to bank fires and set sail. I was sitting in the ward-room reading, when—

If I remember correctly, we were somewhere[Pg 464] at 17° South latitude and far from land. We had been moving full steam ahead all morning after a Northern slave ship, which we had finally boarded, captured, and taken in tow. She showed a good turn of speed too. We had to burn fuel to get within range of her. But we finally did, and there she was, with a prize crew on board, and the fierce old Arabs glaring at us like evil spirits as they leaned over her stern. A breeze picked up around four o’clock, and orders were given to bank the fires and set sail. I was sitting in the ward-room reading when—

“Look Jim!” I heard some one on deck remark. “Where is that thundering old cat going to now?”

“Look, Jim!” I heard someone on deck say. “Where is that noisy old cat going now?”

“Bedad then,” said Jim, “but he’s taking the rigging like a good one anyhow. Shouldn’t wonder now if he was going to give us another spache.”

“Wow then,” said Jim, “but he’s handling the rigging like a pro anyway. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was about to give us another speech.”

I ran up just in time to see the cat shin hand over hand up the main-top gallant mast, and seat himself on the very truck, in the exact spot he had occupied in his[Pg 465] first adventure on board, when the captain fired at him.

I ran up just in time to see the cat climbing hand over hand up the main-top gallant mast and settle himself on the very top, in the exact spot he had occupied in his[Pg 465] first adventure on board, when the captain shot at him.

It had gone three bells in the first dog watch;[16] we had just finished tea, and gone on deck to smoke our evening pipe. We were making ourselves very comfortable on the stern gratings, and our Scotch engineer—naval engineers for the most part are Scotch—was singing “For we are homeward bound;” not that we were homeward bound by a long chalk, but it gave us the idea we were, don’t you know? and made us feel all the jollier, when the quartermaster came aft, and addressing the officer of the watch—

It was just past three bells in the first dog watch; we had just finished tea and went on deck to smoke our evening pipe. We were getting quite comfortable on the stern grating, and our Scottish engineer—naval engineers are mostly Scottish—was singing “For we are homeward bound.” Not that we were actually heading home, but it gave us the feeling that we were, you know? And it made us all the cheerier when the quartermaster came back and spoke to the officer of the watch—

“I beg your pardon, sir,” he said, leisurely, turning his quid in his mouth, “but I think, sir, there be a strong smell of fire right amidships.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt you, sir,” he said casually, chewing his tobacco, “but I think, sir, there’s a strong smell of smoke right in the middle.”

We went forward.

We moved ahead.

The second cutter lay bottom upwards, between the fore and main masts, and from under its gunnel were curling little puffs of light blue smoke, for all the world as if[Pg 466] some one were smoking a cigar beneath the boat. But the smoke had the smell of burning wood.

The second cutter was flipped over, resting between the fore and main masts, and little puffs of light blue smoke were curling up from underneath its gunnel, like someone was smoking a cigar under the boat. But the smoke smelled like burning wood.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Ah! had Edgar Allan Poe heard that bell, he might have added one other stanza to that strange wild poem of his. Ding, ding, ding, ding. You never heard it, did you reader? Well, it is a pleasure you still have before you. The breeze was freshening every minute, the sea was getting its back up, and darkness thickening around us. But what mattered darkness, we should soon light up old ocean with our burning ship.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Ah! If Edgar Allan Poe had heard that bell, he might have added another stanza to that strange, wild poem of his. Ding, ding, ding, ding. You haven't heard it, have you, reader? Well, that's a pleasure you still have ahead of you. The breeze was getting stronger by the minute, the sea was getting rough, and darkness was closing in around us. But what did darkness matter? We would soon light up the ocean with our burning ship.

Ding, ding, ding—up tumble the hands at the dread summons. The hoses are laid, the pumps rigged and manned as if by magic, and before the last sound of the bell is borne away on the breeze, every man is at quarters, steady, grave, and silent—waiting. Waiting? Aye; fancy having to wait for a single moment, with the fire crackling under the broiling deck, and tons of powder under hatches. But service is service—the captain alone has not responded to the alarm, and the[Pg 467] officer of the watch has gone to call him. Worthy man, he was—

Ding, ding, ding—up go the hands at the alarming call. The hoses are out, the pumps set up and ready as if by magic, and before the last ring of the bell fades away on the wind, every man is at their post, steady, serious, and silent—waiting. Waiting? Yes; imagine needing to wait for even a moment, with the fire crackling beneath the hot deck and tons of explosives below. But duty is duty—the captain is the only one who hasn't responded to the alarm, and the [Pg 467] officer of the watch has gone to get him. A commendable man he was—

“Not fou, he just was glorious,
O’er a’ the ills of life victorious.”

"Not at all, he was just amazing,
Over all the troubles of life triumphant.”

“Oh!” he said; “ship’s on fire, is she. Then go you to blazes.”

“Oh!” he said. “The ship’s on fire, huh? Then go to hell.”

He came up soon, however, and every man that night did his duty. Nothing in the world, save British pluck and coolness, could have conquered that fire. It was the padding at the back of the boiler that had caught, and burning through, had kindled the coals behind, and when the decks were scuttled, the scene below was like a red raging hell.

He came up quickly, though, and every man that night did his job. Nothing in the world, except British grit and composure, could have put out that fire. It was the insulation at the back of the boiler that had ignited, and as it burned through, it set the coals behind it ablaze, and when the decks were flooded, the scene below resembled a red raging hell.

In less than two hours however, the flames were got under and the fire extinguished; and, saving the watch on deck, the crew, tired and bruised, and many of them scalded, had gone below, while the carpenters were busy repairing decks; for in a man-of-war every trace of recent danger, whether from wind or fire or foe, is speedily erased.

In less than two hours, though, the flames were brought under control and the fire was put out; and, except for the watch on deck, the crew, exhausted and hurt, with many of them burned, had gone below, while the carpenters worked on repairing the decks; for in a warship, every sign of recent danger, whether from wind, fire, or enemy, is quickly removed.

A shoal of sharks that had been following the ship expectant, disappointed, sought[Pg 468] deeper water, and black Tom, the cat, came down from his perch on the main-truck, singing a song of deliverance.

A group of sharks that had been trailing the ship, eager but ultimately let down, moved towards deeper water, and black Tom, the cat, climbed down from his spot on the main mast, singing a song of freedom.[Pg 468]

 

Minor Mishaps.

Minor Mistakes.

It would take a long time indeed to narrate all the misadventures we had in that cruise. We got quite used to running on shore, being awakened any night, with that strange grating noise beneath our keel, and the sudden cessation of all motion, which tells the experienced sailor better than words can, that the ship has struck. One bright moonlight night, far on in the middle watch, we ran aground on the Lyra reef. Luckily the tide was not full nor the wind blowing. By next morning we had lowered the boats, and sent over the guns to lighten ship, and lay waiting for the tide. A bright sky, and a blue, blue sea all around, with never a sail in sight, nay, not even a bird. The waters so pellucid and clear, that leaning over the bulwarks we could see the yellow sand at the bottom, see forests and gardens of marine plants, and flowers pink-petalled or tender[Pg 469] green, gently waving to and fro in the current; see the transparent medusæ disporting their rainbow beauties, and see the thousand and one strange-looking tropical fishes, of colours so bright and shapes so grotesque, that they seemed the fishes of our dreams, or caricatures of animal life.

It would really take a long time to tell all the crazy things that happened to us on that cruise. We got pretty used to running aground, being jolted awake at night by that weird grinding noise beneath us, and the sudden stop of all motion, which tells an experienced sailor better than words can that the ship has hit something. One bright moonlit night, deep into the night watch, we ran aground on the Lyra reef. Fortunately, the tide wasn’t high and the wind wasn't blowing. By the next morning, we had lowered the boats, sent over the guns to lighten the ship, and were just waiting for the tide. A bright sky and a deep blue sea surrounded us, with not a sail in sight, not even a bird. The water was so clear that when we leaned over the side, we could see the yellow sand at the bottom, with forests and gardens of sea plants and flowers that were pink or soft green, gently swaying in the current; we could see transparent jellyfish showcasing their rainbow colors, and a thousand one strange-looking tropical fish, with colors so vivid and shapes so bizarre, that they seemed like the fishes from our dreams or weird caricatures of animals.

Fast and sure on that reef we lay for upwards of forty-eight hours, and it was only by lightening the ship of coals, and buoying her with empty rum casks that we got safely afloat at last. The men were in good spirits all the time, because forsooth, the cat, was “singing like all possessed.”

We sat on that reef for over forty-eight hours, and we only managed to get the ship afloat by shedding some coal and using empty rum casks for buoyancy. The crew was in good spirits the whole time because, really, the cat was “singing like crazy.”

 

Nothing to Eat.

Nothing to Eat.

It was the last voyage of the cruise. We were steering from Zanzibar to the Cape, under orders home. We had on board with us no less a personage than the bishop of C—— A—— and his learned curate, Dr. Blank. Now we had not been to sea over three days when, lo and behold! one-half, at least, of the casks of beef and provisions, supposed to be full, were found to be mere dummies. It was[Pg 470] nobody’s fault—it always is nobody’s fault in a case of that sort—but the upshot of it was, that all hands were put upon short allowance; and as our mess—having got into debt—was just then living on ship’s provisions, we officers had to suffer the same privations as the men. Besides, we had neither beer, wine, nor spirits on board, very little water, and no coals to spare to distil more.

It was the final leg of the cruise. We were sailing from Zanzibar to the Cape, under orders to head home. Onboard, we had none other than the bishop of C—— A—— and his knowledgeable curate, Dr. Blank. Just three days into our journey, we discovered that at least half of the barrels of beef and provisions, which were supposed to be full, were actually just empty shells. It was[Pg 470] nobody’s fault—it always seems to be nobody’s fault in situations like this—but the result was that everyone had to deal with limited rations; and since our mess—having run up a debt—was relying on ship's provisions, we officers had to endure the same shortages as the crew. Additionally, we had no beer, wine, or spirits onboard, very little water, and no fuel left to distill more.

This was a very pretty look out for a three weeks’ voyage, to the Cape, in mid-winter. And poor Tom came in for more cursing now than ever. Everybody cursed him everywhere; they cursed him below and cursed him aloft; cursed him on the quarter-deck, and cursed him in the cook’s galley. But Tom only sung the louder.

This was a really beautiful view for a three-week trip to the Cape in the middle of winter. And poor Tom got more cursing than ever. Everyone cursed him everywhere; they cursed him below deck and cursed him up high; they cursed him on the quarter-deck and cursed him in the kitchen. But Tom just sang even louder.

“It was all along of that blessed cat,” the sailors said; and they added, “that it was a good thing we had my lord bishop on board, to counteract the evil effects of the skipper’s imp.” The poor bishop suffered too, but mostly from sea-sickness. He kept his bed all the voyage. He was a stout man at Zanzibar, but he got[Pg 471] considerably thinner, before we reached the Cape. But his curate was more to be pitied, he was a thin man, didn’t get sick, and had a stomach like a brewer’s horse; and the more sorrow for that same, there being so little to put into it. Our biscuit must, I think, have been baked before the flood, each morsel, while black with cockroaches’ filth outside, entertaining a whole colony of weevils inside; we ate the weevils, however, merely tapping each morsel on the table to get rid of the superabundant dust, before conveying it to our mouths. We had neither potatoes nor butter. We had white beans though, and black rice and fried sardines, to which latter we used to add a little turmeric and cayenne by way of flavouring. We actually got mean in our hunger, and used to say little snappish things to each other, about our share of the victuals; things which we would have been ashamed to say under any other circumstances. No one, I can assure you, was above helping himself, to the last spoonful of rice or beans, out of a delicate feeling of consideration for his neighbour.[Pg 472] In good sooth, sometimes three or four spoons, would meet at the dish at once in most undignified haste.

“It was all because of that darn cat,” the sailors said; and they added, “it was a good thing we had the bishop on board to counteract the bad vibes from the captain’s imp.” The poor bishop suffered too, but mostly from seasickness. He stayed in bed the entire voyage. He was a big guy in Zanzibar but got[Pg 471] noticeably thinner by the time we reached the Cape. But his curate was even more unfortunate; he was a skinny guy, didn’t get sick, and had an appetite like a horse, yet there was so little to satisfy it. Our biscuits must have been baked before the flood—each piece, while covered in cockroach dirt on the outside, hosted a whole colony of weevils inside. We ate the weevils anyway, just tapping each piece on the table to shake off the extra dust before putting it in our mouths. We had neither potatoes nor butter. We did have white beans, black rice, and fried sardines, to which we would add a bit of turmeric and cayenne for flavor. We actually got a bit petty in our hunger and would make snarky comments to each other about our share of the food—things we would have been embarrassed to say in any other situation. No one, I assure you, was above taking the last spoonful of rice or beans out of a nice feeling for his neighbor.[Pg 472] Honestly, sometimes three or four spoons would collide at the dish at once in a rather undignified rush.

“Gentlemen, gentlemen,” our little good-natured assistant paymaster would say; “better is a dinner of rice and fried sardines, where love is, than a stallëd ox and hatred therewith.”

“Gentlemen, gentlemen,” our friendly little assistant paymaster would say; “a meal of rice and fried sardines with love is better than a stalled ox with hatred.”

We should just have liked to have seen the stallëd ox, that’s all. But this assistant paymaster was a stout bulky little chap, and didn’t suffer half what we did. I’m certain he lived on his own fat all the way to the Cape, just as the sheep in the Highlands do, when they have the misfortune to be buried in the snow for a week or two. Our conversation all the dinner hour—when we weren’t quarrelling—used to be about this glorious feed, and the next glorious feed, which we once had; and it would certainly have been amusing for an outsider—who wasn’t hungry himself mind you—to have heard us, enlarging on all the dainties that had been set before us in happier times.

We really just wanted to see the stalled ox, that's all. But this assistant paymaster was a stout little guy and didn’t suffer nearly as much as we did. I’m sure he was living off his own fat all the way to the Cape, just like the sheep in the Highlands when they get stuck under the snow for a week or two. Our conversation during dinner—when we weren’t arguing—was all about this amazing meal and the next amazing meal we once had; it would definitely have been entertaining for someone outside—who wasn’t hungry himself, mind you—to hear us go on about all the treats we enjoyed in better times.

[Pg 473]Our conversation would have been somewhat after the following fashion:—

[Pg 473]Our conversation would have gone something like this:—

S. “But, by George, when I was in the P. & O. Co.’s Service—ay, old fellows, that was the place to live—there is where we used to get the spreads.”

S. "But, honestly, when I was with the P. & O. Company—yeah, guys, that was the place to be—that's where we used to have the incredible meals."

All. “Yes, yes; tell us, there’s a dear boy. What had you for dinner?”

All. “Yes, yes; come on, there’s a good kid. What did you have for dinner?”

S. “Well, you know, the bill of fare used to be two yards long, and a yard and a quarter wide. We had two soups, and then——”

S. “Well, you know, the menu used to be two yards long and a yard and a quarter wide. We had two soups, and then——”

All. “No, no; tell us first what the soups were?”

All. “No, no; tell us first what the soups were?”

S. “Well, say vermicelli and macaro—Oh! hang it all, Moreton, that’s the third time to my certain knowledge, that you’ve helped yourself to rice.”

S. “Well, say vermicelli and macaroni—Oh! forget it, Moreton, that’s the third time I’ve noticed you taking rice for yourself.”

Moreton. “To-morrow’s pea-soup day, never mind.”

Moreton. “Tomorrow’s pea soup day, whatever.”

S. “But I do mind.”

“But I really do mind.”

All. “Go on with your yarn.”

All. “Continue with your story.”

S. “Well, vermicelli and macaroni, and then a bit of delicious white turbot, with oyster sauce and——”

S. “Well, vermicelli and macaroni, and then a bit of tasty white turbot with oyster sauce and——”

[Pg 474]All. “Yes, yes; go on.”

[Pg 474]All. "Yeah, yeah; continue."

S. “All very well to say go on; but I shall have those three beans, you greedy beggars. Well, then, after the fish came—” etc., etc., etc.

S. “It’s easy for you to say keep going; but I will take those three beans, you greedy beggars. Anyway, after the fish came—” etc., etc., etc.

When S. had finished, R. would begin.

When S. was done, R. would start.

“That just reminds me of an hotel I was at in France,” etc., and so each one told his experiences, to the infinite delectation of his neighbours, and having locust-like devoured everything we came across, we used to get up hungry and haggard, and run on deck to smoke away the tail end of our appetite.

"That just reminds me of a hotel I stayed at in France," etc., and so each person shared their experiences, to the endless delight of those around them. After having devoured everything in sight like locusts, we would get up feeling hungry and worn out, rushing on deck to smoke away the last bit of our appetite.

In those days, our grace before and after meat was rather a peculiar one. The president said the first; it was, “Curse the cat.” Then just before we rose from table, “Mr. Vice, will you kindly return thanks.”

In those days, our grace before and after meals was quite unusual. The president said the first one, which was, “Curse the cat.” Then just before we got up from the table, “Mr. Vice, will you please say thanks?”

Confound the cat.”

“Confuse the cat.”

 

The Last of the Skipper’s Imp.

The Final Imp of the Skipper.

No one ever saw the last of him, however; although a seaman, called Davis, swore point black, that he had seen the cat fly overboard in a sheet of blue flame; but then Davis was[Pg 475] the biggest lubber and the greatest liar in the ship. The only thing known for certain is this: we were about three days’ sail from Symon’s Town, Cape of Good Hope. The night was dark and the weather squally, and poor Tom was last seen sitting, very quiet and pensive-like, on the hammock nettings aft. He was seen there, I say, in the middle watch; and he was never seen again alive or dead. The men swore roundly that he was a devil nothing more nor less, and that, being a devil, he couldn’t stomach my lord bishop on board, and consequently took French leave and went home. The truth, I suppose is, that the ship gave a nasty lee lurch, and Tom, half asleep, missed his footing, and tumbled overboard. I know the skipper was sorry.

No one ever saw him again, though a sailor named Davis insisted that he saw the cat fly overboard in a burst of blue flame. But then again, Davis was[Pg 475] the biggest klutz and the biggest liar on the ship. The only thing we know for sure is this: we were about three days' sail from Simon's Town, Cape of Good Hope. The night was dark and stormy, and poor Tom was last seen sitting quietly and thoughtfully on the hammock netting at the back. He was seen there during the middle watch, and he was never seen again, alive or dead. The crew firmly believed he was a devil, plain and simple, and that, being a devil, he couldn’t handle my lord bishop being on board, so he just took off and went home. The truth is probably that the ship made a sudden lurch, and Tom, half asleep, lost his footing and fell overboard. I know the captain was sorry.

We kept a good look out for the Flying Dutchman after Tom’s demise; but very much to my disappointment, we did not fall in with that ghostly ship. If I were merely writing a sailor’s yarn, I should certainly say we had seen her, and give a most photographic-like description of her; but such[Pg 476] stories I leave landsmen to tell, for I think if a man has been for ten or a dozen years at sea, and kept his weather eye lifting all the time, it will take him the remainder of his life to tell the whole truth alone.

We kept a close watch for the Flying Dutchman after Tom’s death, but, unfortunately, we didn’t encounter that ghostly ship. If I were just spinning a sailor’s tale, I would definitely say we had seen her and give a vivid description of her; but I leave those kinds of stories to landlubbers because I believe that if a man has spent ten or twelve years at sea, keeping his eyes peeled the whole time, it would take him the rest of his life to tell the whole truth alone.

When we came down to the Cape, which we managed to do without any further adventures, there lay the new admiral’s ship, all spick and span from England’s shores, so all our fellows were turned over to, and went home in the old Admiral’s ship, all except our engineer and my unhappy self. We, much to our disgust, were reappointed to the saucy Tickler, which was to remain out for another commission, as tender to the new flagship. Now, however, we had a new captain, the jolliest little man alive; new officers, and a new crew, and we were all as jolly as sandboys. The new officers thought themselves tremendously clever chaps, and every night they used all to pull off their slippers and go pell mell at the unfortunate cockroaches; but the engineer and I sat like stoics, and let them crawl over us in scores, and if too many [Pg 477]at one time came on the book we might be reading, we gently removed them. But before a month was over, our messmates found out the futility, of trying to diminish the number of cockroaches, and these interesting creatures had carte blanche all over the ship.

When we arrived at the Cape, avoiding any more adventures, we found the new admiral’s ship, all spotless from England, so everyone else was transferred and went home on the old Admiral’s ship, except for our engineer and me. We, much to our annoyance, were reassigned to the cheeky Tickler, which was set to stay out for another mission, serving as the tender to the new flagship. However, we now had a new captain, the jolliest little man you'll ever meet; new officers, and a new crew, and we were all as cheerful as can be. The new officers thought they were incredibly clever, and every night they would take off their slippers and go after the unfortunate cockroaches in a frenzy; but the engineer and I sat like stoics, letting them crawl over us in swarms, and if too many [Pg 477] ended up on the book we were trying to read, we would gently remove them. But within a month, our messmates realized how pointless it was to try to reduce the cockroach population, and these fascinating creatures had free rein all over the ship.

 

TORTOISESHELL.
First Prize—Owned by Mr. L. Smith.

Tortoiseshell.
First Prize—Owned by Mr. L. Smith.

 

SILVER, or BLUE TABBY.
First Prize—Owned by Mr. Reynolds.

SILVER, or BLUE TABBY.
First Prize—Owned by Mr. Reynolds.

 

We sailed for Bombay.

We sailed to Mumbai.

But though black Tom was no more, ill-luck seemed still to hover in the wake of that little vessel.

But even though Black Tom was gone, bad luck still seemed to follow that little vessel.

I would willingly narrate our further adventures in detail, but somehow I have no heart, now that the cat has left the story. But, how we were caught in a gale off the Cape and the ship taken aback (that, reader, is much more dreadful than it appears on paper), how we sprang a leak a week after—glass falling and weather stormy, on a rock bound coast—and, just as the ship was beginning to stagger like a drunk man, and the boats were got ready for lowering, the engineer—brave little man—dived below water in the engine-room, and found it was no leak at all, but the great sea-cock left[Pg 478] open by a drunken stoker; how we ran on shore on that wild reef outside Johanna, and lay there for a whole week with our keel floating in splinters around us; how, finally we got off, and steamed to Bombay almost a wreck; the pumps going continually, and barely keeping her afloat; how we arrived safely through it all; how a liberal government paid rather more for repairing her, than would have bought a new one, and how she was sold three years after for an old song,—is it not all written in the log of Her Majesty’s saucy gunboat, Tickler.

I would gladly share more about our adventures in detail, but honestly, I just can’t muster the enthusiasm now that the cat’s out of the story. But let me tell you about getting caught in a storm off the Cape and how the ship was taken aback (trust me, that’s way scarier than it sounds on paper), how we sprung a leak a week later—glass breaking and the weather rough, right off a rocky coast—and just when the ship was starting to wobble like a drunk and the boats were being prepped, the engineer—such a brave little guy—dove into the engine room and found out it wasn’t a leak at all, just a big sea-cock left open by a drunk stoker; how we ran aground on that wild reef outside Johanna and were stuck there for a whole week with our keel surrounded by splinters; how, in the end, we managed to get off and made it to Bombay almost a wreck; the pumps working non-stop, barely keeping us afloat; how we arrived safely through it all; how a generous government paid way more to fix her than what it would’ve cost to buy a new one, and how she was sold three years later for a song—doesn’t it all appear in the log of Her Majesty’s cheeky gunboat, Tickler?

 

 


“Zula,” the property of Mrs. Captain Barrett-Lennard. This cat was brought from Abyssinia at the conclusion of the war, fed on the way home on raw beef, and was long very wild. She is now very fond of her mistress, but has a great many eccentricities which other cats have not, and is altogether a wonderful specimen of cat-kind.

“Zula,” the property of Mrs. Captain Barrett-Lennard. This cat was brought from Abyssinia at the end of the war, fed on raw beef during the trip home, and was quite wild for a long time. She is now very attached to her owner, but has many quirks that other cats don’t have, and is an altogether remarkable example of feline nature.

 

 

ADDENDA.

I deem it fair both to myself and to the reader, to supplement my own evidence on the “Curiosities of Cat Life,” by giving the names and addresses of my authorities for those of my anecdotes, which may seem to run contrary to the generally received opinions, concerning cats; at the same time thanking those ladies and gentlemen, who have taken so much interest in the progress of this work, and expressed themselves willing to vouch for the truth[Pg 480] of the incidents herein related by me. I have tried to make the anecdotes as readable as possible, and as humorous, as I know many people think “cats” a dry subject; but in no single instance have the interests of truth been disregarded. My anecdotes are what might be called sample anecdotes, as I have many hundreds more of the same sort, my object being to describe pussy as she really is, and thus to gain favour for an animal hitherto understood only by the few, and abused by the many. And, nothing would give me greater pain, than the reader to have an idea, that my cats are exceptional cats; for, I distinctly aver, that no cat mentioned in this book, has either done or suffered anything, which any other cat in the kingdom cannot do or suffer.

I think it’s fair to both myself and the reader to back up my insights on the “Curiosities of Cat Life” by providing the names and addresses of my sources for the anecdotes that might contradict widely held beliefs about cats. I also want to thank the ladies and gentlemen who have shown so much interest in this project and have expressed their willingness to vouch for the truth[Pg 480] of the stories I’ve shared here. I’ve aimed to make the anecdotes engaging and entertaining since many people consider “cats” a dull topic; but I have never compromised the truth. My anecdotes are meant to be representative examples, as I have hundreds more like them. My goal is to portray pussy as she truly is, thereby earning appreciation for an animal that has mostly been understood by a few and misrepresented by many. And nothing would upset me more than for the reader to think that my cats are unusual; because I firmly state that no cat mentioned in this book has done or experienced anything that any other cat in the kingdom couldn’t do or experience.

 

INDEX OF NAMES AND ADDRESSES.

NAMES AND ADDRESSES DIRECTORY.

Anderson, Alex., Mr., New Fowlis, Crieff, N.B.

Anderson, Alex, Mr., New Fowlis, Crieff, N.B.

Anderson, Jane, Miss, Old Meldrum, Aberdeenshire.

Anderson, Jane, Ms., Old Meldrum, Aberdeenshire.

Bird, Miss, Snowdon Place, Stirling.

Bird, Ms., Snowdon Place, Stirling.

Bonnar, T., Mr., Largoward, St. Andrews.

Bonnar, T., Mr., Largoward, St. Andrews.

Budge, W., Mr., 113, Montrose Street, Brechin.

Budge, W., Mr., 113 Montrose Street, Brechin.

Burns, D., Mr., 19, Murray Road East, Finsbury Park, London.

Burns, D., Mr., 19, Murray Road East, Finsbury Park, London.

Catto, W. D., Ed. of “People’s Journal,” Dundee.

Catto, W. D., Editor of “People’s Journal,” Dundee.

Church, W., Mrs., 5, Regent’s Park, Heavitree, Essex.

Church, W., Mrs., 5, Regent’s Park, Heavitree, Essex.

Cockerell, Misses, 41, Warwick Street, London.

Cockerell, Misses, 41 Warwick Street, London.

Crerar, Peter, Mr., Buchan’s Buildings, Burrell Street, Crief, N.B.

Crerar, Peter, Mr., Buchan’s Buildings, Burrell Street, Crief, N.B.

Cresswell, Frances, Miss, Early Wood, Bagshot, Surrey.

Cresswell, Frances, Miss, Early Wood, Bagshot, Surrey.

Catto, Edward, Mr., 17, Mortimer Street, Dundee.

Catto, Edward, Mr., 17 Mortimer Street, Dundee.

Davis, Mr., Aberdare, South Wales.

Mr. Davis, Aberdare, South Wales.

Donald, John, Mr., 54, Plantation Street, Glasgow.

Donald, John, Mr., 54 Plantation Street, Glasgow.

Dorwood, David, Mr., Kinettles, Forfarshire.

Dorwood, David, Mr., Kinettles, Forfarshire.

Douglas, T. S., Mr., Park Street, Aberdeen.

Douglas, T. S., Mr., Park Street, Aberdeen.

Durno, Isa, Miss, Floors, Auchterless, N.B.

Durno, Isa, Miss, Floors, Auchterless, N.B.

Ford, R., Mr., 32, Princess Street, Dundee.

Ford, R., Mr., 32 Princess Street, Dundee.

Forshall, F. M., Miss, 14, Park Place, Clarence Gate, London.

Forshall, F. M., Miss, 14 Park Place, Clarence Gate, London.

Gerrard, Samuel, Mr., New Aberdour, Fraserburgh, N.B.

Gerrard, Samuel, Mr., New Aberdour, Fraserburgh, N.B.

Gillespie, James, Mr., Ardean, by Dollar, N.B.

Gillespie, James, Mr., Ardean, by Dollar, N.B.

Geekie, G., Mr., 18, Mitchell Square, Blairgowrie, Perth.

Geekie, G., Mr., 18, Mitchell Square, Blairgowrie, Perth.

Gordon, Miss, Camden House, Aberdeen.

Gordon, Miss, Camden House, Aberdeen.

Gordon, Mrs., 41, Grieve Street, Dunfermline, N.B.

Gordon, Mrs., 41 Grieve Street, Dunfermline, N.B.

Grant, Archibald, Mr., New Dupplis, Elgin.

Grant, Archibald, Mr., New Dupplis, Elgin.

Gray, T., Mr., Park Street, Galashiels.

Gray, T., Mr., Park Street, Galashiels.

Grey, P., Mr., Durris, by Aberdeen.

Grey, P., Mr., Durris, near Aberdeen.

Hutcheson, James, Mr., 22, Temple Lane, Dundee.

Hutcheson, James, Mr., 22 Temple Lane, Dundee.

Howie, David, Mr., Inverleithen, Peebleshire.

Howie, David, Mr., Innerleithen, Peebleshire.

Leitch, David, 31, Bonnygate, Cupar Fife, N.B.

Leitch, David, 31 Bonnygate, Cupar Fife, N.B.

Lynch, Miss, Arduthie, Stonehaven, N.B.

Lynch, Miss, Arduthie, Stonehaven, NB

Mackie, A., Mr., 12, Lower James Street, Sheerness.

Mackie, A., Mr., 12 Lower James Street, Sheerness.

Macdonald, Mrs., Post Office, Lasswade, N.B.

Macdonald, Mrs., Post Office, Lasswade, N.B.

McCorkle, R., Miss, Newhouse, Stirling.

McCorkle, R., Miss, Newhouse, Stirling.

McLean, John, Mr., Orbliston, Fochabers, N.B.

McLean, John, Mr., Orbliston, Fochabers, N.B.

McKenzie, Mrs., Dornoch, N.B.

Mrs. McKenzie, Dornoch, N.B.

McPherson, Colin, Mr., Viewbank Terrace, Dundee.

McPherson, Colin, Mr., Viewbank Terrace, Dundee.

Miller, Francis, Mr., 17, Sutherland Street, Helensburgh.

Miller, Francis, Mr., 17 Sutherland St, Helensburgh.

Millar, D., Mr., The Cross, Linlithgow.

Millar, D., Mr., The Cross, Linlithgow.

Mitchell, J., Mr., Matthew’s Land, Strathmartine, by Dundee.

Mitchell, J., Mr., Matthew’s Land, Strathmartine, near Dundee.

Morseley, C. A., Miss, 8, Ludeley Place, Brighton.

Morseley, C. A., Miss, 8, Ludeley Place, Brighton.

Mowat, M., Mr., Berriedale, Caithness.

Mowat, M., Mr., Berriedale, Caithness.

Oliver, A., Miss, Bovinger Rectory, Ongar, Essex.

Oliver, A., Miss, Bovinger Rectory, Ongar, Essex.

Paterson, J., Mr., Carnbo, Kinross.

Paterson, J., Mr., Carnbo, Kinross.

Pettigrew, Miss, Post Office, Auchterarder, N.B.

Pettigrew, Miss, Post Office, Auchterarder, N.B.

Pratt, W., Mr., 143, Norwich Road, Ipswich.

Pratt, W., Mr., 143 Norwich Road, Ipswich.

Robinson, W. J., Ballycassidy, viâ Omagh, Ireland.

Robinson, W. J., Ballycassidy, via Omagh, Ireland.

Rebecca, Mr., Rubislaw, near Aberdeen.

Rebecca, Mr., Rubislaw, near Aberdeen.

Sibbald, Peter, Mr., 5, Brougham Place, Hawick.

Sibbald, Peter, Mr., 5 Brougham Place, Hawick.

Smith, J., Mr., 79, Princess Street, Dundee.

Smith, J., Mr., 79 Princess Street, Dundee.

Stoddart, D., Mr., 92, Rose Street, Edinburgh.

Stoddart, D., Mr., 92 Rose Street, Edinburgh.

Suter, Miss, Balne Vicarage, Selby.

Miss Suter, Balne Vicarage, Selby.

Swanson, J., Mr., Durness Street, Thurso.

Swanson, J., Mr., Durness Street, Thurso.

Taylor, W., Mr., Merchant, Cuminstone, by Turriff N.B.

Taylor, W., Mr., Merchant, Cuminstone, near Turriff, N.B.

Tyndal, T. G., Mr., Schoolmaster, Portleithen, Hillside, Aberdeen.

Tyndal, T. G., Mr., School Teacher, Portleithen, Hillside, Aberdeen.

Wallace, Mrs., E. U. Manse, Coupar Angus.

Wallace, Mrs., E. U. Manse, Coupar Angus.

Watson, J., Mr., High Street, Alva, Stirlingshire.

Watson, J., Mr., High Street, Alva, Stirlingshire.

Whiteley, Mr., Baggholme Road, Lincoln.

Mr. Whiteley, Baggholme Road, Lincoln.

Whyte, J., Mr., Dallfied Terrace, Dundee.

Whyte, J., Mr., Dallfied Terrace, Dundee.

Wilson, G., Mrs., Cults, near Aberdeen.

Wilson, G., Mrs., Cults, near Aberdeen.

 

Note A.—I have to acknowledge with thanks, the kind letter on the points and classification of cats, sent me by J. Jenner Weir, F.L.S.

Note A.—I want to express my gratitude for the thoughtful letter regarding the classifications and types of cats that J. Jenner Weir, F.L.S. sent me.

Note B.—Fishermen, returning in their boats on clear summer nights, often see a bright light on this mountain’s side. I should think the phenomenon due to the reflection of star-rays, from a piece of rock crystal; but the superstitious Skye men have a different opinion, and aver that this light marks the entrance to the cave of the buried treasure. I hope they may find it. I strongly suspect, however, that the malignant fairy is nothing more nor less than a wild cat.

Note B.—Fishermen, coming back in their boats on clear summer nights, often see a bright light on the side of this mountain. I believe the phenomenon is caused by the reflection of starlight off a piece of rock crystal; however, the superstitious men of Skye have a different opinion and claim that this light marks the entrance to the cave of buried treasure. I hope they find it. I strongly suspect, though, that the so-called malignant fairy is nothing more than a wildcat.

Note C.—Anecdote of the wild cat. Mr. Sibbald.

Note C.—Anecdote of the wild cat. Mr. Sibbald.

Note D.—Anecdote related by Mrs. McDonald.

Note D.—A story shared by Mrs. McDonald.

Note E.—Anecdote of “Tucker.” Mr. Swanson.

Note E.—Story about “Tucker.” Mr. Swanson.

Note F.—Anecdote of cat hunting on three legs. Mr. John McLean.

Note F.—Story about a cat hunting on three legs. Mr. John McLean.

Note G.—Anecdote by Miss Oliver.

Note G.—Story by Miss Oliver.

Note H.—Related by Mrs. Church.

Note H. — Related by Mrs. Church.

Note I.—Related by Mrs. McDonald.

Note I.—Shared by Mrs. McDonald.

Note K.—The cat belonging to Lieutenant Hawthorne. This cat was first prize for weight at the Crystal Palace.

Note K.—The cat that belongs to Lieutenant Hawthorne. This cat won first prize for weight at the Crystal Palace.

[Pg 484]Note L.—Anecdote related by Mrs. D. H. Gordon.

[Pg 484]Note L.—Anecdote shared by Mrs. D. H. Gordon.

Note M.—Anecdote by Miss Oliver.

Note M.—Story by Miss Oliver.

Note N.—For private reasons the address of voucher for the truth of this anecdote cannot be published, but can be sent privately, if wished.

Note N.—For personal reasons, the address of the source for this story can’t be shared publicly, but can be provided privately if requested.

Note O.—Related by Mr. Murray, Stretford Road, Hulme, Manchester.

Note O.—Shared by Mr. Murray, Stretford Road, Hulme, Manchester.

Note P.—This sport (?) is also common in the Highlands of Scotland.

Note P.—This sport (?) is also popular in the Scottish Highlands.

Note Q.—This happened at the mill of Maidencraig, near Aberdeen. Mr. W. Young, was then miller.

Note Q.—This occurred at the Maidencraig mill, close to Aberdeen. Mr. W. Young was the miller at that time.

Note R.—Related by Mrs. G. Wilson.

Note R.—Shared by Mrs. G. Wilson.

Note S.—This queer little doggie may be seen any evening at the Crown Hotel, Gosport. A small white bull-terrier.

Note S.—This quirky little dog can be spotted any evening at the Crown Hotel in Gosport. It's a small white bull-terrier.

Note T.—Related by Mr. Rebecca.

Note T.—Shared by Mr. Rebecca.

Note U.—Anecdote by Mr. Millar.

Note U.—Story by Mr. Millar.

Note V.—Anecdote by Mrs. Church.

Note V.—Anecdote by Mrs. Church.

Note W.—Related by Miss Oliver.

Note W.—Shared by Miss Oliver.

Note X.—Related by Mr. Swanson.

Note X.—Shared by Mr. Swanson.

 

THE END.

THE END.

 

 


DEAN’S ONE SHILLING GUIDE BOOKS.

DEAN’S ONE DOLLAR GUIDE BOOKS.

CANARIES AND MULES: Their Varieties and Points. How to Breed, Rear, and Keep them in Health, with Remedies for the various Diseases to which they are subject. Sixpence. By J. Sabin. Or with Pictures coloured of the fifteen varieties of Canaries, and Addenda on their breeding. One Shilling.

CANARIES AND MULES: Their Varieties and Points. How to Breed, Raise, and Keep Them Healthy, with Remedies for the Different Diseases They May Face. Sixpence. By J. Sabin. Or with Colored Illustrations of the Fifteen Varieties of Canaries, Plus Additional Information on Their Breeding. One Shilling.

THE AQUARIA, and its contents of Gold and other Fish, Insects, and Plants; with instructions how to manage. By J. Bishop, A. H. Lloyd, F. S. Leach, and T. Hall. Thirty-five Illustrations. Price One Shilling.

THE AQUARIA, along with its collection of Gold and other Fish, Insects, and Plants; with guidelines on how to care for it. By J. Bishop, A.H. Lloyd, F.S. Leach, and T. Hall. Thirty-five Illustrations. Price One Shilling.

POULTRY: How Best to Breed, for Profit, Pleasure, Exhibition, and Prize; with a description of the several Breeds, and the Points of excellence as laid down by Prize Winners and experienced Judges. Edited by R. Fulton. With chapters on Diseases and Methods of Cure, Proper Construction of Houses, &c. Illustrated. Price One Shilling.

POULTRY: The Best Ways to Breed for Profit, Enjoyment, Shows, and Awards; including a description of the different breeds and the key qualities highlighted by award winners and experienced judges. Edited by R. Fulton. Featuring chapters on diseases and their treatments, proper house construction, etc. Illustrated. Price One Shilling.

THE BIRD-KEEPER’S GUIDE AND BRITISH AVIARY; or, Song Birds: How to Rear and Keep them in Health, and how to Preserve them when dead. New Edition, containing Addenda on the various Breeds of Canaries. By Thomas Andrews. Frontispiece in Colours. Price One Shilling, Sewed; or, bound in Cloth, with Twenty Plates, showing the male and female bird of the several varieties, with their eggs, price Two Shillings.

THE BIRD-KEEPER’S GUIDE AND BRITISH AVIARY; or, Song Birds: How to Raise and Care for them in Good Health, and how to Preserve them after they Pass. New Edition, including Additions on the different Breeds of Canaries. By Thomas Andrews. Colorful Frontispiece. Price One Shilling, Sewed; or, bound in Cloth, with Twenty Plates, depicting the male and female of each variety, along with their eggs, priced at Two Shillings.

PARROTS, How to Treat and Feed. By Marriott. Including Cockatoos, Macaws, Parrokeets, Lories, &c. Coloured Frontispiece. Price One Shilling. Or, with Twenty-eight Steel Plate Portraits of the best varieties, cloth, Two Shillings and Sixpence.

PARROTS, How to Treat and Feed. By Marriott Hotels. Including Cockatoos, Macaws, Parakeets, Lories, etc. Colorful Frontispiece. Price One Shilling. Or, with Twenty-eight Steel Plate Portraits of the best varieties, cloth, Two Shillings and Sixpence.

HORSES: THE GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE to their Keep, Choice, and Management. By James Mills, M.V.C.S. Eleventh Edition. With suggestions relative to the treatment of the Diseases of Horses. Rarey’s Instructions for the Taming of Horses and Art of Horsemanship. Price One Shilling; or, Cloth bound, One Shilling and Sixpence.

HORSES: THE GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE to their Care, Selection, and Management. By James Mills, M.V.C.S. Eleventh Edition. With advice on how to treat the Diseases of Horses. Rarey’s Techniques for Taming Horses and the Art of Horseback Riding. Price One Shilling; or, Cloth bound, One Shilling and Sixpence.

FAMILY DOUBLE-CHEQUE WASHING BOOK, complete double list for Twenty-six weeks. Price One Shilling.

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HOUSEKEEPER’S FAMILY ACCOUNT BOOK, for Fifty-two Weeks, and for every time in the year. Price One Shilling.

THE FRUIT AND FLOWER GARDEN. By John Greig. A monthly Diary of all that is necessary to be done; the Management of the Green-house, &c. Price One Shilling.

THE FRUIT AND FLOWER GARDEN. By John Greig. A monthly diary covering everything you need to do; managing the greenhouse, etc. Price One Shilling.

LONDON LETTER WRITER; A Model Book of Original Correspondence. By C. A. Smith. Price One Shilling.

LONDON LETTER WRITER; A Model Book of Original Correspondence. By C.A. Smith. Price One Shilling.

LONDON: DEAN & SON.
ST. DUNSTAN’S BUILDINGS, 160A, FLEET ST., AND 18 & 19, GOUGH SQUARE, E.C.

LONDON: DEAN & SON.
ST. DUNSTAN’S BUILDINGS, 160A FLEET ST., AND 18 & 19 GOUGH SQUARE, E.C.

 

 

DOGS:

DOGS:

Their Points, Whims, Instincts, and Peculiarities.

Their opinions, preferences, instincts, and quirks.

Edited by HENRY WEBB.

Edited by HENRY WEBB.


EXTRACTS FROM OPINIONS OF THE PRESS.


EXTRACTS FROM OPINIONS OF THE PRESS.

“‘Dogs; their Points, Whims, and Instincts,’ by Henry Webb (Dean & Son) is even more minute than ‘Stonehenge’ in the precise enumeration and estimate of the points which rule the decision of the judges at the prize exhibitions.”—The Graphic, Nov. 23rd, 1872.

“‘Dogs: Their Traits, Quirks, and Instincts,’ by Henry Webb (Dean & Son) is even more detailed than ‘Stonehenge’ in the specific listing and assessment of the criteria that influence the judges' decisions at the prize shows.”—The Graphic, Nov. 23rd, 1872.

“The Editor has succeeded in doing what he professed to do, and that is more than could be said about the work of many editors.... Having said that Mr. Webb has carried out his programme to the letter, what remains for us here is the recommendation that admirers of the canine race should purchase the book. They will not regret the trifling investment.”—The Sportsman, Nov. 23rd, 1872.

“The Editor has achieved what he set out to do, which is more than can be said about many editors' work.... Having noted that Mr. Webb has followed through with his plan precisely, all that’s left for us to say is that those who appreciate dogs should buy the book. They won’t regret the small investment.” —The Sportsman, Nov. 23rd, 1872.

“Most of the papers are written by men who have favourites of the breed which they describe.”—The Globe, Oct. 30th, 1872.

“Most of the articles are written by men who have favorite breeds that they talk about.”—The Globe, Oct. 30th, 1872.

“... Tells a good deal about the points, whims, instincts, and peculiarities of dogs, and many things worth knowing may be learnt from its perusal....”—The Army and Navy Gazette, Nov. 2nd, 1872.

“... Shares a lot about the traits, quirks, instincts, and unique behaviors of dogs, and there are many valuable insights to gain from reading it....”—The Army and Navy Gazette, Nov. 2nd, 1872.

“The photographs of nearly a hundred dogs, which embellishes Mr. Webb’s book, are by no means badly done.... The book is written in a gossiping style, and is certain to be immensely popular, the information having been furnished by some of the highest authorities in the kingdom.”—Sporting Times, Nov. 28th, 1872.

“The photos of almost a hundred dogs that decorate Mr. Webb’s book are certainly well done.... The book is written in a chatty style and is sure to be very popular, with information provided by some of the top experts in the country.”—Sporting Times, Nov. 28th, 1872.

“The points of good breeds are tersely stated, and beyond doubt, the book will be useful to dog-fanciers; and who does not come more or less under that designation?”—The Standard, Oct. 28th, 1872.

“The qualities of good breeds are summed up clearly, and there's no question that this book will be helpful to dog lovers; and who doesn't fit into that category to some extent?”—The Standard, Oct. 28th, 1872.

“Mr. Henry Webb has compiled a book about dogs which will be found thoroughly interesting and instructive to owners and exhibitors of these faithful animals.”—Lloyd’s Newspaper, Nov. 17th, 1872.

“Mr. Henry Webb has put together a book about dogs that will be really interesting and informative for owners and exhibitors of these loyal animals.” —Lloyd’s Newspaper, Nov. 17th, 1872.

 

EXTRACTS FROM BREEDERS’ LETTERS.

EXTRACTS FROM BREEDERS' EMAILS.

Scalford, Mowbray.

Scalford, Melton Mowbray.

“The chapters on Bull Dogs, Bloodhounds, &c., &c., are excellent and trustworthy. W. B. Wynne.

“The chapters on Bull Dogs, Bloodhounds, etc., etc., are excellent and trustworthy. W.B. Wynne.


Arley Rectory, Coventry.

Arley Rectory, Coventry.

“I think the book very interesting, and shall certainly recommend it to all my friends. A. de Castro.

“I think the book is really interesting, and I will definitely recommend it to all my friends. A. de Castro.


Hooper’s Bridge Mills.

Hooper’s Bridge Mill.

“There is much valuable information on the breed of dogs and their points, which every sportsman should know; I am indeed very much pleased with the work. R. Pascoe.

“There is a lot of valuable information about dog breeds and their traits that every sportsman should be aware of; I am really pleased with this work. R. Pascoe.


Beverley, Yorkshire.

Beverley, Yorkshire.

“The work is really a valuable addition to the literature we possess on the subject. W. W. Boulton.

“The work is truly a valuable addition to the literature we have on the subject. W.W. Boulton.


Hales Court, Canterbury.

Hales Court, Canterbury.

“I am much pleased with the book. Mary Hales.

“I really like the book. Mary Hales.


Blackwood House, N.B.

Blackwood House, NB

“Mr. Webb’s book is very interesting. I, however, do not agree with him that the head of the Dandie Dinmont bitch is smaller than that of the dog. E. Bradshaw Smith.

“Mr. Webb’s book is really interesting. However, I don’t agree with him that the head of the Dandie Dinmont female is smaller than that of the male. E. Bradshaw Smith.

 

 


Footnotes:

References:

[1] The aversion of the poorer classes in Scotland to receive parochial relief, or to go into “the house,” is well known. No man having once done so can—or indeed would be permitted to—hold up his head among his neighbours again.

[1] The reluctance of the poorer classes in Scotland to accept welfare assistance or to enter a workhouse is well known. Once a man has done that, he cannot—or would not be allowed to—hold his head high among his neighbors again.

[2] One only child.

Only child.

[3] Gowk—a cuckoo, an animal of little sense.

[3] Gowk—a cuckoo, a creature with little common sense.

[4] Tit—pap.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Tits—nips.

[5] Dripping = kitchen-fee.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Dripping = kitchen tax.

[6] Glossary to above. 1, Thrum, a bit of thread. 2, hum, sing low without words. 3, grat, wept. 4, eenies, little eyes. 5, preenies, small pins. 6, syne, then. 7, glum, melancholy. 8, heed, head. 9, bleed, blood. 10, beanies, small bones. 11, Num! Nice! 12, greet, weep. 13, lum, chimney-pot.

[6] Glossary to above. 1, Thrum, a piece of thread. 2, hum, sing softly without lyrics. 3, grat, cried. 4, eenies, tiny eyes. 5, preenies, tiny pins. 6, syne, then. 7, glum, sad. 8, heed, head. 9, bleed, blood. 10, beanies, tiny bones. 11, Num! Great! 12, greet, cry. 13, lum, chimney.

[7] Women selling Scotch confectionery.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Women selling Scotch candy.

[8] Note. This chapter “is rote sarkastic.”

[8] Note. This chapter “is totally sarcastic.”

[9] See, page 100, vol. I.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ See, __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_1__, vol. I.

[10] Pelage in catology = feather in dogology.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Pelage in catology = fur in dogology.

[11] Honey, suet, marlingspikes, and pens.—Jack’s translation.

[11] Honey, animal fat, marlingspikes, and pens.—Jack’s translation.

[12] In my next edition I shall insert a bird-stuffer’s name here. Space to be let to the highest bidder.

[12] In my next edition, I will include the name of a taxidermist here. Space available for the highest bidder.

[13] 11 o’clock.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ 11 AM.

[14] Throughout the story, commander, captain, and skipper mean one and the same person. In the Royal Navy, a senior lieutenant generally commands a gunboat, and is called captain for courtesy, and skipper behind his back.

[14] Throughout the story, commander, captain, and skipper refer to the same individual. In the Royal Navy, a senior lieutenant usually commands a gunboat and is politely referred to as captain, while he's called skipper when he's not around.

[15] My! a Scottish interjection only translatable by the Greek Ιω! (Io!)

[15] Wow! a Scottish exclamation that can only be translated by the Greek Ιω! (Io!)

[16] Half-past five p.m.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ 5:30 p.m.




        
        
    
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