This is a modern-English version of Dangerous Connections, v. 1, 2, 3, 4: A Series of Letters, selected from the Correspondence of a Private Circle; and Published for the Instruction of Society., originally written by Laclos, Choderlos de.
It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling,
and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
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Dangerous Connections
DANGEROUS
CONNECTIONS:
A SERIES OF
LETTERS,
CHOSEN FROM THE CORRESPONDENCE
OF
A PRIVATE GROUP;
AND PUBLISHED FOR THE EDUCATION
OF SOCIETY.
“I have observed the Manners of the Times, and have wrote those Letters.”
J. J. Rousseau, Pref. to the New Eloise.
SECOND EDITION.
IN FOUR VOLUMES.
VOL. I.
London:
PRINTED FOR J. EBERS, OLD BOND STREET.
1812
ADVERTISEMENT
FROM THE EDITOR.
We think it incumbent on us to acquaint the Public, notwithstanding the title of this work, and what the Compiler asserts in his preface, that we do not pledge ourselves for the authenticity of this Collection, and that we have even very forcible reasons to believe it a fiction.
We feel it's important to inform the public, despite the title of this work and what the compiler claims in his preface, that we do not guarantee the authenticity of this collection, and that we even have strong reasons to believe it’s a fabrication.
Nay, that the author, who seems studiously to have sought nature, has himself awkwardly defeated his intention, by the epocha in which he has placed his events. The morals of several of his personages are so corrupt, that it is impossible they should have existed in this age; an age of philosophy, and in which an extensive diffusion of knowledge has had the happy effect to render the men famed for morality and integrity, and the female sex for reserve and modesty.
No, the author, who seems to have intentionally sought out nature, has ironically undermined his own goal by the time period in which he has set his events. The morals of several of his characters are so corrupt that it's impossible they could have existed in this era; an era of philosophy, where the widespread availability of knowledge has positively resulted in men being renowned for their morality and integrity, and women for their restraint and modesty.
We are therefore inclined to think, if the adventures related in this work have any foundation in truth, they must have happened at some other time and place: and we blame the author much, who, probably seduced by the hope of interesting us the more, has dared to modernize and to decorate, with our usages and customs, morals to which we are utter strangers.
We tend to believe that if the stories shared in this work are based in reality, they must have occurred at a different time and place. We criticize the author, who, likely hoping to engage us further, has taken the liberty to modernize and embellish these morals with our customs and habits that are completely unfamiliar to us.
To preserve, at least, the too credulous reader, as much as in our power, from all surprise on this subject, we will strengthen our opinion with an unanswerable argument; for though similar causes never fail to produce the same effects, yet we cannot now find a young lady, with an estate of 60,000 livres a year, take the veil, nor a Presidente, in the bloom of youth and beauty, die of grief.
To protect, at least, the overly trusting reader from any surprises on this topic, we'll back up our opinion with a solid argument; because while similar causes consistently lead to the same results, we can’t currently find a young woman with an income of 60,000 livres a year choosing to become a nun, nor a young and beautiful president succumbing to grief.
PREFACE.
This Work, or rather Collection, which the Public will, perhaps, still find too voluminous, contains but a small part of the correspondence from which it is extracted. Being appointed to arrange it by the persons in whose possession it was, and who, I knew, intended it for publication, I asked, for my sole recompence, the liberty to reject every thing that appeared to me useless, and I have endeavoured to preserve only the letters which appeared necessary to illustrate the events, or to unfold the characters. If to this inconsiderable share in the work be added an arrangement of those letters which I have preserved, with a strict attention to dates, and some short annotations, calculated, for the most part, to point out some citations, or to explain some retrenchments I have made, the Public will see the extent of my labours, and the part I have taken in this publication.
This work, or rather this collection, which the public might still find a bit lengthy, includes just a small portion of the correspondence it’s drawn from. I was tasked with organizing it by those who had it, and who I knew intended to publish it. As my only reward, I requested the freedom to eliminate anything I thought was unnecessary, and I’ve tried to keep only the letters that seemed essential to shed light on the events or reveal the characters. If you add to this my limited role in the work, along with a careful arrangement of the letters I kept, paying close attention to dates, and some brief notes meant mostly to highlight certain quotations or clarify some edits I made, the public will see the scope of my efforts and the contribution I’ve made to this publication.
I have also changed, or suppressed, the names of the personages, and if, among those I have substituted, any resemblance may be found which might give offence, I beg it may be looked on as an unintentional error.
I have also changed or left out the names of the characters, and if anyone sees any similarities among those I've used that could be offensive, please consider it an unintentional mistake.
I proposed farther alterations, as to purity of style and diction, in both which many faults will be found. I could also have wished to have been authorised to shorten some long letters, several of which treat separately, and almost without transition, of objects totally foreign to one another. This liberty, in which I was not indulged, would not have been sufficient to give merit to the work, but would have corrected part of its defects.
I suggested further changes to improve the style and wording, as there are definitely many errors in both. I also wish I could have been allowed to shorten some of the long letters, many of which discuss completely unrelated topics without any smooth transitions. While this freedom wouldn’t have been enough to make the work great, it would have fixed some of its flaws.
It was objected to me, that the intention was to publish the letters themselves, and not a work compiled from the letters; that it would be as distant from probability as truth, that eight or ten persons, who were concerned in this correspondence, should have wrote with equal purity of style:—And on my representing that there was not one which did not abound with essential faults, and was not very open to criticism, I was answered, that every reasonable reader would undoubtedly expect to find faults in a collection of letters of private persons, since among all those hitherto published by authors of the highest reputation, and even some academicians, there are none totally exempt from censure. Those reasons have not convinced me; and I am still of opinion they are easier to give than likely to obtain assent; but I had not my option, and submitted, reserving only the liberty of entering my protest, and declaring my dissent, as I now do.
It was pointed out to me that the goal was to publish the letters themselves, not to create a work compiled from them; that it would be as unlikely as it is improbable for eight or ten people involved in this correspondence to have written with the same level of style:—And when I argued that not one of the letters was free from significant flaws and was open to criticism, I was told that any reasonable reader would certainly expect to find faults in a collection of letters from private individuals, since among all those previously published by highly regarded authors, including some academics, none are completely free from criticism. Those arguments didn't convince me; I still believe they are easier to present than to get agreement on; but I didn't have a choice and complied, reserving only the right to voice my protest and express my disagreement, as I am doing now.
As to the merit of this work, perhaps it does not become me to touch upon it; my opinion neither can, or ought, to influence any one. However, as some wish to know something of a book before they take it in hand, those who are so disposed will proceed with this preface—the rest will do better to pass on to the work itself.
As for the value of this work, maybe it's not my place to comment on it; my opinion shouldn't influence anyone. Still, since some people want to learn a bit about a book before diving in, those who are interested can read this preface—the others might be better off going straight to the work itself.
Though inclined to publish those letters, I am yet far from thinking they will meet success; and let not this sincere declaration be construed into the affected modesty of an author: for I declare, with the same frankness, that if I had thought this collection an unworthy offering to the Public, it should not have taken up any part of my time.—Let us try to reconcile this apparent contradiction.
Though I’m tempted to publish those letters, I still doubt they will be successful; and please don't mistake this honest statement for false humility from an author: I honestly say that if I had thought this collection was an unworthy contribution to the public, I wouldn’t have spent any time on it. — Let’s try to resolve this seeming contradiction.
The merit of a work consists in its utility, or its agreeableness, and even in both, when it admits of both. But success, which is not always the criterion of merit, often arises more from a choice of subject than the execution, more from the aggregate of the objects presented than the manner of treating them: such a collection as the title announces this to be, being the letters of a whole circle, and containing a diversity of interests, is not likely to fix the attention of the reader. Besides, the sentiments they contain being feigned or dissembled, can only excite an interest of curiosity, always infinitely inferior to that of sentiment, and less disposed to indulgence, as well as more apt to be struck with defects in the narrative, as they are constantly in opposition to the only desire curiosity seeks to gratify. These defects are, perhaps, partly compensated by the quality of the work; I mean the variety of style—A merit which an author seldom attains, but which here presents itself, and prevents, at least, a dull uniformity. Perhaps merit may also be allowed to many observations, either new or little known, which are interspersed through those letters: and this, to pass the most favourable judgment on them, will be found to constitute their best pretension to pleasing.
The value of a work lies in its usefulness, or how enjoyable it is, and ideally in both, when it can offer both. However, success, which isn’t always the best measure of value, often comes more from the choice of topic than from how well it’s executed, and more from the range of subjects covered than from the way they are presented. A collection like this, as the title suggests, featuring letters from a whole group and containing a mix of interests, is unlikely to grab a reader’s attention. Additionally, because the feelings expressed are often fake or hidden, they tend to spark only a superficial curiosity, which is always far less engaging than genuine emotion, and is also more likely to notice flaws in the narrative, as it goes against the main desire curiosity is meant to satisfy. These flaws might be somewhat balanced out by the quality of the work; specifically, the variety in style—something authors rarely achieve, but which is evident here and at least keeps it from being monotonously uniform. There may also be merit in many observations, either new or not widely known, scattered throughout the letters: and taking the most generous view, this will likely be seen as their best claim to being enjoyable.
The utility of the work, which will, perhaps, be more strongly contested, appears more easy to establish: it is at least useful to morality, to lay open the means used by the wicked to seduce the innocent; and those letters will efficaciously concur for so salutary a purpose. There will also be found in them the proof and example of two important truths, which one would be apt to think unknown, seeing how little they are practised: the one, that every woman who admits a bad man to her society, ends with becoming his victim; the other, that every mother is at least imprudent, that suffers any but herself to gain possession of her daughter’s confidence.
The usefulness of this work, which might be more strongly debated, seems easier to establish: it is at least beneficial for morality to reveal the methods used by the wicked to lure the innocent; and those letters will effectively contribute to such a helpful purpose. You will also find in them proof and examples of two important truths, which one might think are unknown, given how rarely they are practiced: first, that any woman who allows a bad man into her life ultimately becomes his victim; and second, that any mother who allows anyone other than herself to earn her daughter’s trust is at least being imprudent.
Young persons, of both sexes, may also here learn, that the friendship so readily held out to them by people of bad morals, is ever a dangerous snare, equally fatal to their happiness and virtue; yet, abuse or evil always unhappily confining too nearly on good, appears so much to be dreaded in this respect, that far from recommending the perusal of works of this kind to youth, I think it of the utmost importance to keep all such very far from their reach. The time when productions of the nature of the present may be no longer dangerous, but begin to be useful, was fixed by a lady of great good understanding. “I think,” said she to me, after having read the manuscript of this correspondence, “I should render my daughter an essential service in putting this book in her hands on her wedding-day.” Should all mothers think thus, I shall congratulate myself on having published it.
Young people, of both genders, should understand that the friendship offered to them by morally questionable individuals is always a dangerous trap, harmful to both their happiness and virtue. However, since evil often disguises itself as good, I believe it’s crucial to keep all such influences far away from their lives, rather than encouraging the reading of works like this. A wise woman once said after reading the manuscript of this correspondence, “I think I would be doing my daughter a significant favor by giving her this book on her wedding day.” If all mothers had this perspective, I would feel proud to have published it.
Yet I shall leave this flattering supposition at a distance; and I still think this collection will please but few.—Men and women of depraved minds will take an interest in discountenancing a work that may injure them; and as they are never wasting in ingenuity, they may bring over the whole class of rigorists, who will be alarmed at the picture we have dared to present of profligacy.
Yet I will set aside this flattering assumption; I still believe this collection will only appeal to a few. People with twisted minds will be interested in discrediting a work that could threaten them, and since they are always full of creativity, they might sway the entire group of strict individuals, who will be shocked by the image we've dared to depict of moral corruption.
The pretenders to free thinking will take no concern in the fate of a devout woman, whom, for that reason, they will not fail to pronounce weak, whilst the devotee will be displeased to see virtue sink under misfortune, and will complain that religion does not sufficiently display its power. On the other hand, persons of a delicate taste will be disgusted with the simplicity and defective style of many of the letters, whilst the generality of readers, led away with the idea that every thing that appears in print is a work of labour, will think he sees in some of the other letters the laboured style of an author sufficiently apparent, notwithstanding the disguise he has assumed.
The fake free thinkers will have no concern for the fate of a devout woman, whom they will easily label as weak for that reason, while the devoted will be upset to see virtue fail in the face of misfortune and will complain that religion doesn’t show its strength enough. On the flip side, people with refined taste will be turned off by the simplicity and poor quality of many of the letters, while most readers, misled by the belief that everything in print is a result of hard work, will think they see in some of the other letters the evident effort of an author, despite the disguise he’s trying to wear.
To conclude; it will be pretty generally said, that a thing is little worth out of its place; and that if the too correct style of authors takes off from the gracefulness of miscellaneous letters, negligences in these become real faults, and make them insupportable when consigned to the press.
To wrap up, it’s commonly said that something loses its value when it's out of context. If the overly precise style of writers detracts from the charm of informal letters, the mistakes in these letters become genuine flaws, making them unbearable when published.
I sincerely own that those reproaches may have some foundation. I believe also, I might possibly be able to answer them, even without exceeding the length of a preface: but it is clear, that were I to attempt to answer every thing, I could do nothing else; and that if I had deemed it requisite to do so, I should at once have suppressed both preface and book.
I honestly admit that those criticisms might have some basis. I also believe that I could probably address them without making it too lengthy for a preface. However, it's obvious that if I tried to respond to everything, I wouldn't be able to do anything else; and if I thought it was necessary to do so, I would have just chosen to leave out both the preface and the book.
EXTRACT
FROM THE
CORRESPONDENCE
ON WHAT CONCERNS THE
HAPPINESS OF MAN AND SOCIETY.
[No. III.]
THE UTILITY OF NOVELS.
THE NOVEL OF
DANGEROUS CONNECTIONS.
Are novels useful, or are they prejudicial to the morals? is a question long agitated, and not yet resolved; for the reasons on both sides are equally plausible. Undoubtedly Richardson, who is read and cited every where, though prolix and diffuse, has not a little contributed to the practice of pure morality; and yet, on the other hand, what mischiefs have been produced by the immense multitude of novels of all sorts with which France and all Europe have been overrun for some years past; and, as if the evil done by these temporary plagues was not sufficiently accomplished during their short existence, it is prolonged by reviving them in eternal collections. A novel, the morality of which is equivocal, is a very dangerous poison; a novel that only possesses mediocrity, is at best useless. Even a good novel is but aliment for a child, or some weak being, to whom morality unadorned is a disgusting object. Hence we may conclude, that every thinking man will take care to banish this kind of works from his library.
Are novels helpful or harmful to morals? This question has been debated for a long time and is still unresolved because the arguments on both sides are equally convincing. Certainly, Richardson, who is widely read and referenced despite being verbose, has significantly contributed to the practice of pure morality. However, on the flip side, consider the damage caused by the overwhelming number of various novels that have flooded France and all of Europe in recent years. And as if the harm caused by these temporary plagues wasn't enough during their brief existence, it's extended by reviving them in endless collections. A novel with questionable morality is a very dangerous poison; a novel that is merely mediocre is at best useless. Even a good novel is just food for a child or someone weak, for whom unembellished morality is an unpleasant sight. Therefore, we can conclude that any thoughtful person will make sure to remove this type of work from their library.
He will then likewise proscribe that novel, now so much prized, called Dangerous Connections, or Letters collected in a Society, and published for the Instruction of other Societies.
He will also ban that new book, which is highly valued now, called Dangerous Connections, or Letters Collected in a Society, and Published for the Instruction of Other Societies.
After having read a few pages of this work, one is almost led to think this title a piece of pleasantry; the letters of Madame de Merteuil, and of the Viscount de Valmont, published truly for the instruction of society. Is it in order to form people to the detestable art of seduction, or to inspire them with a horror of it? and yet this work has been censured, and approved; has had all the honours of war, while so many other useful works are like the manes of the ancients, to whom a sepulchre was denied, and who were forced to wander upon the gloomy banks of the Styx, and admitted only by stealth. O cæcas hominum mentes!
After reading a few pages of this work, you might be tempted to think that the title is just a joke; the letters of Madame de Merteuil and the Viscount de Valmont are genuinely published for the sake of educating society. Are they meant to teach people the horrible art of seduction, or to inspire a hatred of it? And yet this work has been both criticized and praised; it has received all the accolades while so many other valuable works are like the spirits of the ancients, denied a proper burial, forced to wander the dark banks of the Styx, and only allowed through stealth. O cæcas hominum mentes!
I am far from a wish to calumniate the author, who, I am assured, is a military man of the highest character for wit and good conduct; but his work, which seems to have a moral end in view, is in reality very dangerous. It has been said to be a picture of the manners of a certain class in society; and, if it was not a resemblance, where would be its utility? Must monsters be created to cause in us an aversion of ordinary vices? If it is true, it ought to have been concealed; there are shocking nudities which our minds revolt at rather than receive any instruction from. The veil that covers the Tiberiuses and the Messalinas, ought not to be wholly lifted up.
I don't mean to slander the author, who I’m told is a military man known for his wit and good behavior; however, his work, which seems to have a moral purpose, is actually quite dangerous. It’s been described as a portrayal of the behaviors of a certain class in society; and if it wasn’t an accurate reflection, what would its value be? Do we really need to create monsters to help us reject ordinary vices? If this is true, it should have been kept hidden; there are disturbing truths that we find more repulsive than educational. The veil covering the Tiberiuses and the Messalinas shouldn’t be completely removed.
Young men will find in this novel easy means of seduction; young women will here see portraits of embellished vice; and old libertines will be amused by the exploits of Valmont. But what a monster is Valmont, if such a character exists; and those who know that class of society, assure us, they have met with many such. If there really are such beings, ought not their society to be avoided carefully? It is a forest filled with robbers: to enter it we should be well armed. It is a road full of great precipices, to avoid falling into which, we must be very circumspect.
Young men will find in this novel easy ways to seduce; young women will see portraits of glamorous vice; and older playboys will be entertained by Valmont's antics. But what a monster Valmont is, if such a character exists; and those familiar with that social circle assure us that they've encountered many like him. If these kinds of people really exist, shouldn't we carefully avoid their company? It's a forest filled with thieves: to enter it, we should be well-prepared. It's a path full of steep cliffs, and to avoid falling off, we need to be very cautious.
What a character is the Marchioness de Merteuil! Sometimes she is a Medea, sometimes a Messalina. Read the tenth letter: vice is to be drawn; but should it be drawn in such seducing colours? Are there many young people who will prefer the character of a virtuous man to the brilliant and lively one of the profligate Valmont? Are there many who will not blush at the awkwardness of Cecilia? And when one blushes at being ridiculed, they are not very far from the vice that exempts them from it. In France, ridicule is too much dreaded; they would rather be vicious; and this book will rather assist that taste.
What a character the Marchioness de Merteuil is! Sometimes she's a Medea, sometimes a Messalina. Check out the tenth letter: vice is on display; but should it really be shown in such tempting colors? Are there many young people who prefer the character of a virtuous man over the flashy and charming one of the immoral Valmont? Are there many who won’t feel embarrassed by Cecilia's awkwardness? And when someone blushes at being made fun of, they’re not very far from the vice that keeps them from it. In France, ridicule is feared too much; people would rather be immoral; and this book will definitely cater to that preference.
The style of romances may serve to lead us to the knowledge of the morals of ages and nations. Thus the country, which has lately produced the natural and moving Henrietta of Gerstenfeld, is far from the state of depravity of Paris and London. I form my opinion from the book. In the last age the French novels were full of gallantry and virtuous love, because then they were gallant and respectful. In this age, they have substituted wit to love, and the novels are stuffed with an unintelligible jargon of metaphysics. Of this they grew tired, and libertinism succeeded to it. From thence so many licentious romances. The immense quantity that are produced is a complete proof of the corruption of the age; the rapidity with which they are bought, the rage with which they are devoured, farther prove this depravation.
The style of romances can help us understand the morals of different times and cultures. For example, the country that recently brought us the natural and emotional Henrietta of Gerstenfeld is much healthier than the corrupt state of Paris and London. My opinion is based on the book. In the past, French novels were filled with chivalry and noble love because that was how people acted—gallant and respectful. Nowadays, they’ve replaced love with cleverness, and the novels are filled with confusing metaphysical jargon. People grew tired of this, and so libertinism took its place, leading to the flood of risqué romances. The sheer number of them being produced clearly shows the corruption of the times; the speed at which they are sold and the intensity with which they are consumed only further highlight this moral decline.
Doing justice to the zeal that seems to animate the author of those observations, we may be permitted, I hope, to make some farther remarks on the manner he has presented his? Before we begin to examine the degree of moral utility contained in the novel of Dangerous Connections, the author of the correspondence first begs leave to ask whether novels in general are useful or prejudicial to morals? This method is the most prudent; but is it not singular, that, acknowledging the indecision of this question, because the reasons for and against are equally seducing, he is still so bold to condemn, indiscriminately, all novels, without assigning any new reasons in justification of this definitive sentence? On the contrary, the author asserts, Richardson’s novels have been useful to morality, to preserve them in their purity and in the same breath advises all thinking men to banish them from their libraries! Are the consequences suitable to the premises? Is not that confounding the genus with the species? But if it was even true, that the best novel is only food for infancy, or a weak being, for whom unadorned morality is a terrifying object, would the author’s decision be the more justifiable? I will not determine; but I would ask what he means by those thinking men, for whom unadorned morality is not terrifying? It would be, perhaps, those declaiming misanthropes, who censure and despise every thing that does not bear a resemblance to their savage and austere way of thinking? I have sometimes had a good opinion of their understanding, but been ever diffident of their hearts; were we to attend to them, we should also banish from our libraries the divine poem of Telemachus, which is the first of novels, which modest qualification does not hinder it from being, if one may venture to call it, the first of our books; not only by the grandeur of the business it treats, but also by the manner in which it is treated. We should also banish from our libraries even the works of the Correspondence, the morality of which is become very interesting, by an ornamented, pure and elegant style; if, notwithstanding those qualities, this work has its opposers, would it find many readers if it was divested of them? God forbid I should ever intend making a general apology for all novels! that would be the idea of a Demoniac; I only mean to justify useful novels. If any one makes a bad use of this kind of writing, I most willingly acquiesce in their condemnation. Let us now examine whether the author of Dangerous Connections deserves to suffer.
Doing justice to the enthusiasm that seems to drive the author of those observations, I hope we can make some further comments on how he has presented his views. Before we dive into the moral value of the novel Dangerous Connections, the writer of the correspondence first wants to ask whether novels in general are beneficial or harmful to morals. This approach is the most sensible, but isn’t it strange that, recognizing the uncertainty surrounding this question—since the arguments for and against are equally appealing—the author still boldly condemns all novels without providing any new reasons to justify this absolute judgment? On the contrary, the author claims that Richardson’s novels have been beneficial to morality, preserving it in its purity, yet in the same breath suggests that all thoughtful individuals should remove them from their libraries! Do the outcomes match the premises? Isn’t that mixing the general with the specific? However, even if it were true that the best novel is merely suitable for children or someone weak, who finds straightforward morality intimidating, would the author’s conclusion be any more justified? I won’t decide; but I would like to ask what he means by those thinking individuals for whom straightforward morality isn’t frightening. Perhaps he refers to those cynical misanthropes who criticize and disdain everything that doesn’t align with their harsh and rigid viewpoints? I have occasionally valued their intellect but have always been skeptical of their empathy; if we were to heed them, we should also discard from our libraries the sublime poem of Telemachus, which is essentially the first novel, a designation that doesn’t prevent it from being, if I may dare to say, the foremost of our books—not only due to the significance of its subject matter but also for the way it’s presented. We should also eliminate from our libraries even the works of the Correspondence, whose morality has become quite compelling due to its ornate, pure, and elegant style; if this work has opponents despite these qualities, would it attract many readers if stripped of them? God forbid I ever intend to make a blanket justification for all novels! That would be the idea of someone deranged; I only mean to defend useful novels. If anyone misuses this type of writing, I fully agree with their condemnation. Now, let’s assess whether the author of Dangerous Connections deserves to face consequences.
What is a novel? A correct picture of morals put in motion.—What should be the aim of a novel? To blend instruction with amusement.—When the morals of the actors are corrupt, is it allowable, with deference to decency, to draw them in their proper shades and colours? Undoubtedly it is; but with the greatest caution, lest by giving vice, whose contagion must be dreaded, its true, though seducing and agreeable aspect, without resisting, diminishing, or rendering useless, the effect it may produce by the contrast of gentleness, peace, and happiness, which virtue secures. The author of the Errors of the Heart and Mind, and the other of the Confessions of the Count of ——, have gone wide of this mark; yet their characters are drawn after nature; the Meilcourts are still the ornament of the Bon Ton societies. But should irregularities be drawn without inflicting their punishment? Should vice, with impunity, applaud its infamous triumphs? Should innocence weep without being avenged? Certainly not. Those novels deserve the severest censure of the author of the Correspondence; those are the books which should be carefully concealed from the busy curiosity of young people. Let any one take the trouble to compare the works I have now quoted, and similar ones, with the novel of Dangerous Connections, shall we not always feel a certain aversion, a kind of antipathy for Valmont and the Marchioness de Merteuil, notwithstanding the brilliant cast he has given two performers. Let some attention be paid to the skill with which he has contrasted them in the gentle, sensible, and generous Madame de Rosemonde; how moving, how unaffected her virtue. The following letter, wrote to the victim of the profligate Valmont, is, in my opinion, alone sufficient to counterbalance, at least, the impression this same Valmont, and the infamous accomplice in his crimes, could make.
What is a novel? It's an accurate depiction of morals in action. What should a novel aim to do? To combine teaching with entertainment. When the characters' morals are corrupt, is it acceptable, with respect to decency, to portray them in their true shades and colors? Absolutely, but it must be done with great care so that we don't give vice—which we must fear—its appealing and tempting appearance without also contrasting it with the gentleness, peace, and happiness that virtue brings. The authors of Errors of the Heart and Mind and Confessions of the Count of —— have missed this mark; however, their characters are true to nature, and the Meilcourts remain a highlight of high society. But should irregularities be portrayed without punishment? Should vice celebrate its despicable victories with no consequences? Should innocence suffer without retribution? Certainly not. Those novels warrant the harshest criticism from the author of the Correspondence; those are books that should be kept away from the inquisitive minds of young people. If anyone takes the time to compare the works I've just mentioned with the novel Dangerous Connections, won't we always feel a certain dislike, a kind of aversion to Valmont and the Marchioness de Merteuil, even with the impressive roles he created for them? Notice the skill with which he contrasts them with the kind, sensible, and generous Madame de Rosemonde; her virtue is so touching and genuine. The letter she writes to the victim of the depraved Valmont, in my view, is sufficient to counterbalance, at least somewhat, the impression that Valmont and his infamous accomplice could leave.
LETTER CXXX.
LETTER CXXX.
Madame de Rosemonde, to the Presidente de Tourvel.
Madame de Rosemonde, to the Presidente de Tourvel.
“Why, my lovely dear, will you no longer be my daughter? Why do you seem to announce that our correspondence is to cease?[1] Is it to punish me for not guessing at what was improbable; or do you suspect me of creating you affliction designedly? I know your heart too well, to imagine you would entertain such an opinion of mine.—The distress your letter plunges me in is much less on my own account than yours. Oh! my young friend, with grief I tell you, you are too worthy of being beloved ever to be happy in love. Where is there a truly delicate and sensible woman, who has not met unhappiness where she expected bliss? Do men know how to rate the women they possess?
“Why, my lovely dear, will you no longer be my daughter? Why do you seem to suggest that our communication is about to end?__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Is it to punish me for not guessing what was unlikely, or do you think I am hurting you on purpose? I know your heart too well to believe you would think that of me.—The distress your letter causes me is more about you than myself. Oh! my young friend, sadly, I tell you, you are too deserving of love to ever find happiness in it. Where is there a truly kind and thoughtful woman who hasn’t faced unhappiness when she expected joy? Do men truly understand the value of the women they have?
“Not but many of them are virtuous in their addresses, and constant in their affections—but even among those, how few that know how to put themselves in unison with our hearts. I do not imagine, my dear child, their affection is like ours. They experience the same transport often with more violence, but they are strangers to that uneasy officiousness, that delicate solicitude, that produces in us those continual tender cares, whose sole aim is the beloved object. Man enjoys the happiness he feels, woman that she gives.
“Not many of them are genuine in their intentions, and loyal in their feelings—but even among those, how few know how to connect with our hearts truly. I don’t think, my dear child, their love is like ours. They often feel the same passion, sometimes even more intensely, but they lack that restless eagerness, that gentle concern, that brings us those constant tender attentions, whose only focus is the one we love. A man enjoys the happiness he experiences, while a woman finds joy in what she gives.”
“This difference, so essential, and so seldom observed, influences, in a very sensible manner, the totality of their respective conduct. The pleasure of the one is to gratify desires; but that of the other is to create them. To know to please is in man the means of success; and in woman it is success itself.
“This difference, which is crucial and often overlooked, significantly affects how each behaves. For one, pleasure comes from satisfying desires; for the other, it comes from generating them. Knowing how to please is a way for a man to succeed; for a woman, it is success itself."
“And do not imagine the exceptions, be they more or less numerous, that may be quoted, can be successfully opposed to those general truths, which the voice of the public has guarantied, with the only distinction as to men of infidelity from inconstancy; a distinction of which they avail themselves, and of which they should be ashamed; which never has been adopted by any of our sex but those of abandoned characters, who are a scandal to us, and to whom all methods are acceptable which they think may deliver them from the painful sensation of their own meanness.
“And don’t think that the exceptions, no matter how many or few, can successfully challenge the general truths the public has approved. The only difference between unfaithful men and those who are just inconsistent is one that they exploit and should be ashamed of. This distinction has only ever been claimed by those among us with disgraceful reputations, who bring shame upon us all and will resort to any means they believe will free them from the uncomfortable feeling of their own worthlessness."
“I thought, my lovely dear, those reflections might be of use to you, in order to oppose the chimerical ideas of perfect happiness, with which love never fails to amuse our imagination. Deceitful hope! to which we are still attached, even when we find ourselves under the necessity of abandoning it—whose loss multiplies and irritates our already too real sorrows, inseparable from an ardent passion. This task of alleviating your trouble, or diminishing their number, is the only one I will or can now fulfil. In disorders which are without remedy, no other advice can be given, than as to the regimen to be observed. The only thing I wish you to remember is, that to pity is not to blame a patient. Alas! who are we, that we dare blame one another? Let us leave the right of judging to the Searcher of hearts; and I will even venture to believe, that in his paternal sight, a crowd of virtues may compensate a single weakness.
“I thought, my dear, that these reflections might help you challenge the unrealistic ideas of perfect happiness that love always brings to our minds. Deceptive hope! to which we still cling, even when we have to let it go—its loss only increases and intensifies our already too real sorrows, which are tied to intense passion. This task of easing your pain, or reducing its number, is the only one I can or will fulfill now. In situations that can’t be fixed, the only advice to give is about the approach to take. The main thing I want you to remember is that feeling pity is not the same as blaming someone who is suffering. Alas! who are we to judge each other? Let’s leave the judging to the one who knows our hearts; and I even dare to believe that in His kind view, many virtues can outweigh a single flaw.
“But I conjure you, above all things, my dear friend, to guard against violent resolutions, which are less the effects of fortitude than despondency: do not forget, that although you have made another possessor of your existence (to use your own expression) you had it not in your power to deprive your friends of the share they were before possessed of, and which they will always claim.
“But I urge you, above all else, my dear friend, to avoid rash decisions, which come more from despair than bravery. Don’t forget that even though you have allowed someone else to be a part of your life (to use your words), you didn’t have the ability to take away your friends' shares, which they will always maintain.”
“Adieu, my dear child! Think sometimes on your tender mother; and be assured you always will be, above every thing, the dearest object of her thoughts.
“Goodbye, my dear child! Remember your loving mother sometimes; and know that you will always be, above everything else, the most cherished thing in her thoughts.
“Castle of ——.”
“Castle of ——.”
If the openness of the little Volanges, or her ignorance, should seem ridiculous to those of her own age, the unhappy consequences that resulted from it, will be an useful lesson to mothers to be cautious in what hands they intrust the education of their children. But can a young girl, who has once imbibed this bad education, avoid the consequences I mention, without any other guide but her timidity and absolute ignorance of vice? Is it in a corrupt world, in which she is just entering, that she will receive the fatal knowledge? Does not the author of the Correspondence himself say, “To enter it, we should be well armed; it is a road full of precipices: to avoid falling into which, we must be very circumspect.” This is all well—But if, unfortunately, I am blind, or without a guide, who is to restore me sight, or lead me? I conclude, then, that a young person, who would be pleased, at first, with the brilliant character of the Marchioness de Merteuil, would soon change her opinion, and not be tempted to imitate her, when she would see the dreadful and examplary punishment inflicted on this guilty woman. She will shudder at the thought of the miseries to which one single fault condemned Cecilia Volanges. Valmont perishing in the bloom of life, by a violent death, loaded with the contempt and disgrace of all men of worth, disowned even by the wicked, will deter all those, whose vanity and a desire to shine might induce them to copy such a character, from attempting to imitate him.
If the openness of young Volanges, or her naivety, seems silly to her peers, the unfortunate outcomes that followed will serve as a valuable lesson for mothers to be careful about who they trust with their children's education. But can a young girl, who has absorbed this flawed education, avoid the consequences I mentioned, relying only on her shyness and complete ignorance of wrongdoing? Is it in a corrupt world, which she is just entering, that she will gain this dangerous knowledge? Doesn't the author of the Correspondence himself say, “To enter it, we should be well armed; it is a path full of pitfalls: to avoid falling into them, we must be very careful.” This is all true—But if, unfortunately, I am blind or without guidance, who will restore my sight or lead me? I conclude that a young person who might initially admire the glamorous persona of the Marchioness de Merteuil will quickly change her mind and not feel tempted to emulate her once she witnesses the terrible and exemplary punishment given to this guilty woman. She will cringe at the thought of the miseries that condemned Cecilia Volanges for a single mistake. Valmont, dying young in a violent way, filled with the disdain and disgrace of all honorable men, even rejected by the wicked, will discourage anyone whose vanity and desire to stand out might entice them to imitate such a character.
(By the ABBÉ KENTZINGER.)
(By the Abbé Kentzinger.)
[1] See Letter cxxviii.
DANGEROUS CONNECTIONS.
LETTER I.
CECILIA VOLANGES to SOPHIA CARNAY, at the Convent of the Ursulines of ——.
Cecilia Volanges to SOPHIA CARNAY, at the Convent of the Ursulines of ——.
You see, my dear friend, I keep my word, and that dress does not totally take up all my time; I shall ever have some left for you. In this single day I have seen more finery of attire, than in the four years we have spent together; and I believe the haughty Tanville[1] will be more mortified at my first visit, when I shall certainly desire to see her, than she used to be every time she came to see us in fiochi. Mamma advises with me in every thing; she behaves to me no longer as a boarder in a convent. I have a chamber-maid to myself; a chamber and a closet of my own, and a very pretty scrutoire, of which I keep the key, and where I can lock up every thing. My Mamma has told me, I must be with her every morning at her levee; that it would be sufficient to have my head dressed by dinner, because we should always be alone, and that then she would each day tell me what time I should come to her apartment in the evening. The remainder of my time is at my own disposal; I have my harpsichord, my drawings, and books, just as in the convent, only that the mother abbess is not here to scold. And I may always be idle, if I please: but as I have not my dear Sophy to chat and laugh with, I am as well pleased with some occupation. It is not yet five, and I am not to go to Mamma till seven: what a deal of time, if I had any thing to tell you! but nothing has been yet mentioned to me of any consequence: and if it were not for the preparation I see making, and the number of women employed for me, I should be apt to think they have no notion of my nuptials, and that it was one of old Josephine’s[2] tales. Yet Mamma having so often told me, that a young lady should remain in a convent, until she was on the point of marriage, and having now brought me home, I am apt to think Josephine right.
You see, my dear friend, I keep my promises, and that dress doesn’t take up all my time; I’ll always have some left for you. In just one day, I’ve seen more fancy outfits than in the four years we’ve spent together; and I believe the proud Tanville[1] will be more embarrassed during my first visit—when I’ll definitely want to see her—than she used to be every time she came to visit us in fiochi. Mom consults with me about everything; she no longer treats me like a boarder in a convent. I have a maid just for me; a bedroom and a closet of my own, and a very nice writing desk that I keep locked. My mom has told me I must join her every morning at her gathering; that it’s enough for me to have my hair done by dinner since we’ll always be alone, and then she’ll tell me each day what time I should come to her room in the evening. The rest of my time is mine; I have my harpsichord, my drawings, and books, just like back in the convent, except the mother abbess isn’t here to scold me. And I can always choose to be lazy if I want, but since I don’t have my dear Sophy to chat and laugh with, I prefer to keep myself occupied. It’s not even five yet, and I don’t have to go to Mom until seven: what a lot of time, if I had something to tell you! But nothing of any importance has been mentioned to me yet; if it weren’t for the preparations I see happening, and the number of women working for me, I’d think they had no idea about my wedding and that it was one of old Josephine’s[2] stories. Still, Mom has often told me that a young lady should stay in a convent until she’s about to get married, and since she’s brought me home now, I’m inclined to think Josephine was right.
A coach has just stopped at our door, and Mamma has sent for me. If it should be my intended!—I am not dressed, and am all in agitation; my heart flutters. I asked my maid, if she knew who was with my Mamma? “Why,” says she, laughing, “it is Mr. C——.” I really believe it is he. I will certainly return and write you the whole; however, that’s his name. I must not make them wait. Adieu, for a moment!
A coach just pulled up to our door, and Mom has sent for me. What if it’s my fiancé!—I’m not dressed, and I’m all worked up; my heart is racing. I asked my maid if she knew who was with Mom. “Well,” she said, laughing, “it’s Mr. C——.” I really think it is him. I’ll definitely come back and tell you everything; anyway, that’s his name. I can’t keep them waiting. Bye for now!
How you will laugh at your poor Cecilia, my dear Sophy! I’m quite ashamed! But you would have been deceived as well as I. On entering Mamma’s room, I saw a gentleman in black, standing close by her, I saluted him as well as I could, and remained motionless. You may guess, I examined him from head to foot. “Madam,” said he to Mamma, “this is a most charming young lady, and I am extremely sensible of your goodness.” So positive a declaration made me tremble all over; and not being able to support me, I threw myself in an armed chair, quite red and disconcerted. In an instant he was at my knees, and then you may judge how poor Cecilia’s head was bewildered; I instantly started up and shrieked, just as on the day of the great thunder. Mamma burst out laughing, saying, “Well, what’s the matter? Sit down, and give Mr. —— your foot.” Thus, my dear friend, Mr. —— turns out to be my shoemaker. You can’t conceive how much I was ashamed; happily, there was no one but Mamma present. I am, however, resolved when I am married he shall not be my shoemaker. Well! am I not now much the wiser? Farewell! it is almost six, and my maid says it is time to dress. Adieu! my dear Sophy; I love you as much as I did at the convent.
How you will laugh at poor Cecilia, my dear Sophy! I’m so embarrassed! But you would have been fooled too. When I walked into Mom’s room, I saw a man in black standing next to her. I greeted him as best as I could and just stood there. You can imagine, I took in every detail of him. “Madam,” he said to Mom, “this is a truly charming young lady, and I really appreciate your kindness.” Such a bold statement made me tremble all over; and unable to hold myself up, I collapsed into an armchair, completely flushed and flustered. In an instant, he was at my feet, and you can guess how confused poor Cecilia was; I jumped up and shrieked, just like I did on that day of the big thunderstorm. Mom burst out laughing and said, “Well, what’s the matter? Sit down and give Mr.—— your foot.” So, my dear friend, it turns out Mr.—— is my shoemaker. You can’t imagine how embarrassed I was; thankfully, it was just Mom there. However, I’m determined that when I get married, he won’t be my shoemaker. Well! Am I not so much wiser now? Goodbye! It’s almost six, and my maid says it’s time to get ready. See you later, my dear Sophy; I love you just as much as I did at the convent.
P. S. I don’t know whom to send with this, and shall wait till Josephine calls.
P.S. I’m not sure who to send with this, so I’ll wait until Josephine calls.
Paris, Aug. 3, 17—.
Paris, Aug. 3, 1717—.
LETTER II.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the VISCOUNT VALMONT, at the Castle of ——.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the VICOUNT VALMONT, at the Castle of ——.
Return, my dear Viscount, return! How can you think of idling your days with an old aunt, whose fortune is already settled on you! Set out the moment you receive this letter, for I want you much. A most enchanting idea has just struck me, and I wish to confide the execution of it to you.
Return, my dear Viscount, return! How can you think of wasting your days with an old aunt, whose fortune is already yours? Leave as soon as you get this letter, because I really need you. An amazing idea just came to me, and I want to share it with you.
This hint should be sufficient, and you should think yourself so highly honoured by my choice, as to fly to receive my orders on your knees: but my favours are thrown away on one who no longer sets a value on them; and you presume upon my kindness, where the alternative must be eternal hatred, or excessive indulgence. I will acquaint you with my scheme; but you, like a true knight errant, must first swear to undertake no other adventure until this is achieved. It is worthy a hero. You will at once satiate love and revenge. It will be an additional exploit to your memoirs; yes, your memoirs, for I will have them published, and I will undertake the task. But to return to what more immediately concerns us. Madame de Volanges intends to marry her daughter: it is yet a secret; but she yesterday informed me of it. And whom do you think she has chosen for her son-in-law? Count Gercourt. Who could have thought I should have been allied to Gercourt? I am provoked beyond expression at your stupidity! Well, don’t you guess yet? Oh, thou essence of dulness! What, have you then pardoned him the affair of Madame the Intendante? And I, monster![1] have I not more reason for revenge? But I shall resume my temper; the prospect of retaliation, recalls my serenity.
This hint should be enough, and you should feel so honored by my choice that you come to receive my orders on your knees. But my favors are wasted on someone who no longer values them; and you take my kindness for granted, where the alternative must be eternal hatred or excessive leniency. I'll tell you my plan, but you, like a true knight-errant, must first promise not to take on any other adventure until this one is completed. It's worthy of a hero. You will satisfy both love and revenge. It will be an added feat for your memoirs; yes, your memoirs, because I will have them published, and I’ll take on that task. But let's get back to what matters. Madame de Volanges plans to marry her daughter: it's still a secret, but she told me about it yesterday. And who do you think she has picked for her son-in-law? Count Gercourt. Who would have thought I would be connected to Gercourt? I’m infuriated by your stupidity! Well, don't you guess it yet? Oh, you essence of dullness! What, have you forgiven him for the business with Madame the Intendante? And I, monster![1] don't I have more reason for revenge? But I’ll calm down; the thought of retaliation brings back my composure.
You and I have been often tormented with the important idea framed by Gercourt, of the lady he intended honour with his hand, and his ridiculous presumption of being exempt from the unavoidable fate of married men. You know his foolish prepossessions in favour of conventual education, and his still more weak prejudices for women of a fair complexion: and I really believe, notwithstanding Volanges’ sixty thousand livres a year, he never would have thought of this girl, had she not been black eyed, or not educated in a convent.
You and I have often been bothered by Gercourt's ridiculous idea about the woman he intended to marry and his absurd belief that he could escape the inevitable fate that comes with being a married man. You know about his silly biases in favor of convent education and his even weaker preferences for women with fair complexions. Honestly, I believe that despite Volanges' sixty thousand livres a year, he never would have considered this girl if she hadn't had dark eyes or been educated in a convent.
Let us convince him, he is a most egregious fool, as one day or other he must be: but that’s not the business; the jest will be, should he act upon so absurd an opinion. How we should be diverted the next day with his boasts! for boast he will: and if once you properly form this little girl, it will be astonishing if Gercourt does not become, like so many others, the standing ridicule of Paris. The heroine of this new romance merits all your attention; she is really handsome, just turn’d of fifteen, and a perfect rose-bud; awkward as you could wish, and totally unpolished: but you men don’t mind such trifles; a certain languishing air, which promises a great deal, added to my recommendation of her, leaves only to you to thank me and obey. You will receive this letter to-morrow morning: I require to see you at seven in the evening. I shall not be visible to any one else till eight, not even to my chevalier, who happens to be my reigning favourite for the present; he has not a head for such great affairs. You see I am not blinded by love. I shall set you at liberty at eight, and you’ll return to sup with the charming girl at ten, for the mother and daughter sup with me. Farewell! it is past noon. Now for other objects.
Let's persuade him; he’s quite the fool, and he eventually has to realize it. But that’s not the point; the real joke will be if he actually acts on such a ridiculous belief. Imagine how entertained we’ll be the next day with his bragging! He will definitely boast. And if you can shape this little girl properly, it would be amazing if Gercourt doesn’t end up as the laughingstock of Paris, just like so many others. The heroine of this new story deserves all your attention; she’s really pretty, just turned fifteen, and a complete innocent. She’s as awkward as can be and totally unrefined, but you guys don’t care about such minor details. A certain dreamy vibe, which promises a lot, paired with my recommendation, means you only need to thank me and follow my lead. You’ll get this letter tomorrow morning. I need to see you at seven in the evening. I won’t be available to anyone else until eight, not even my current favorite, who isn’t cut out for such serious matters. You can see I’m not blinded by love. I’ll let you go at eight, and you'll head back to have dinner with the lovely girl at ten since her mother and she are dining with me. Goodbye! It’s after noon. Now, onto other things.
Paris, Aug. 4, 17—.
Paris, Aug. 4, 1917—.
[1] To understand this passage, it must be remarked, that the Count de Gercourt had quitted the Marchioness de Merteuil for the Intendante de ——, who had on his account abandoned the Viscount de Valmont, and that then the attachment of the Marchioness to the Viscount commenced. As that adventure was long antecedent to the events which are the subject of these letters, it has been thought better to suppress the whole of that correspondence.
[1] To understand this passage, it's important to note that the Count de Gercourt left the Marchioness de Merteuil for the Intendante de ——, who had, because of him, broken up with the Viscount de Valmont. After that, the Marchioness started to become attached to the Viscount. Since that situation happened long before the events discussed in these letters, it was decided to leave out all of that correspondence.
LETTER III.
CECILIA VOLANGES to SOPHIA CARNAY.
Cecilia Volanges to Sophia Carnay.
I have yet no news for my dear friend. Mamma had a great deal of company at supper last night. Notwithstanding the strong inclination I had to make my observations, especially among the men, I was far from being entertained. The whole company could not keep their eyes from me; they whispered; I could observe plainly they were speaking of me, and that made me blush; I could not help it: I wish I could; for I observed when any one looked at the other ladies they did not blush, or the rouge they put on prevented their blushes from being seen. It must be very difficult not to change countenance when a man fixes his eyes on you.
I still haven't heard anything from my dear friend. Mom had a lot of guests for dinner last night. Even though I really wanted to observe everyone, especially the men, I wasn't entertained at all. The whole group couldn't take their eyes off me; they whispered, and I could clearly see they were talking about me, which made me blush—I couldn’t help it. I wish I could; I noticed that when anyone looked at the other ladies, they didn't blush, or their makeup just hid it. It must be really hard not to change your expression when a guy is staring at you.
What gave me the most uneasiness was, not to know what they thought of me; however, I think I heard the word pretty two or three times: but I’m sure I very distinctly heard that of awkward; and that must be very true, for she that said so is a relation, and an intimate friend of Mamma’s. She seems even to have taken a sudden liking to me. She was the only person who took a little notice of me the whole evening. I also heard a man after supper, who I am sure was speaking of me, say to another, “We must let it ripen, we shall see this winter.” Perhaps he is to be my husband; but if so, I have still to wait four months! I wish I knew how it is to be.
What bothered me the most was not knowing what they thought of me. However, I think I heard the word “pretty” two or three times; but I’m sure I clearly heard “awkward,” and that has to be true because the person who said it is a relative and a close friend of Mom's. She even seems to have suddenly taken a liking to me. She was the only one who paid me a little attention the whole evening. I also heard a guy after dinner, who I’m certain was talking about me, say to another, “We must let it ripen; we’ll see this winter.” Maybe he’s going to be my husband, but if so, I still have to wait four months! I wish I knew how this was going to turn out.
Here’s Josephine, and she says she is in haste. I must, however, tell you one of my awkward tricks—Oh, I believe that lady was right.
Here’s Josephine, and she says she’s in a hurry. I have to tell you one of my awkward moves—Oh, I think that lady was spot on.
After supper, they all sat down to cards. I sat next Mamma. I don’t know how it happened, but I fell asleep immediately. A loud laugh awoke me. I don’t know whether I was the object of it; but I believe I was. Mamma gave me leave to retire, which pleas’d me much. Only think, it was then past eleven! Adieu, my dear Sophy! continue to love thy Cecilia, I assure you the world is not so pleasing as we used to think it.
After dinner, they all gathered to play cards. I sat next to Mom. I’m not sure how it happened, but I fell asleep right away. A loud laugh woke me up. I can’t tell if it was about me, but I think it might have been. Mom let me go to bed, which made me very happy. Can you believe it was already past eleven? Goodbye, my dear Sophy! Keep loving your Cecilia; I promise you, the world isn’t as wonderful as we used to believe.
Paris, Aug. 4, 17—.
Paris, Aug. 4, 1917
LETTER IV.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
The Viscount de Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Your orders are enchanting, and your manner of giving them still more delightful; you would even make one in love with despotism. It is not the first time, you know, that I regret I am no longer your slave; and yet, monster as you style me, I recall with rapture the time when you honoured me with softer names. I have often even wish’d again to deserve them, and to terminate, by giving along with you an example of constancy to the world. But matters of greater moment call us forth; conquest is our destiny, and we must follow it: we may, perhaps, meet again at the end of our career; for permit me to say, without putting you out of temper, my beautiful Marchioness! you follow me with a pretty equal pace; and since, for the happiness of the world, we have separated to preach the faith, I am inclined to think, that in this mission of love, you have made more proselytes than I. I am well convinced of your zeal and fervour; and if the God of Love judged us according to our works, you would be the patron saint of some great city, whilst your friend would be at most a common village saint. This language no doubt will surprise you; but you must know, that for these eight days I hear and speak no other; and to make myself perfect in it, I am obliged to disobey you.
Your orders are captivating, and the way you give them is even more delightful; you could make anyone fall in love with tyranny. This isn't the first time I've regretted not being your servant anymore; and yet, even though you call me a monster, I fondly remember when you used to call me by softer names. I've often wished to earn those names again and to provide an example of loyalty to the world alongside you. But we have more important matters to attend to; our destiny is conquest, and we must pursue it: we might meet again at the end of our journey; for let me say, without upsetting you, my beautiful Marchioness! you keep pace with me quite well; and since, for the good of the world, we've separated to spread the faith, I suspect that in this mission of love, you've convinced more people than I have. I'm fully aware of your passion and dedication; and if the God of Love judged us by our actions, you'd be the patron saint of a major city while your friend would be, at best, a common village saint. This might surprise you, but you should know that for the past eight days, I've spoken nothing else; and to truly master it, I have to disobey you.
Don’t be angry, and hear me. As you are the depository of all the secrets of my heart, I will intrust you with the greatest project I ever formed. What do you propose to me? To seduce a young girl, who has seen nothing, knows nothing, and would in a manner give herself up without making the least defence, intoxicated with the first homage paid to her charms, and perhaps incited rather by curiosity than love; there twenty others may be as successful as I. Not so with the enterprise that engrosses my mind; its success insures me as much glory as pleasure; and even almighty Love, who prepares my crown, hesitates between the myrtle and laurel, or will rather unite them to honour my triumph. Even you yourself, my charming friend, will be struck with a holy respect, and in a fit of enthusiasm, will exclaim, This is the man after my own heart!
Don’t be mad, and hear me out. Since you hold all the secrets of my heart, I’m going to share with you the biggest plan I’ve ever made. What do you suggest I do? To charm a young girl who has seen nothing, knows nothing, and would basically give herself up without putting up any resistance, captivated by the first attention paid to her beauty, and maybe motivated more by curiosity than love; there could be twenty others who would succeed just as I could. But that’s not the case with the project that occupies my thoughts; its success promises me as much glory as pleasure; and even powerful Love, who prepares my reward, hesitates between the myrtle and laurel, or will choose to combine them to celebrate my victory. Even you, my lovely friend, will feel a profound respect, and in a moment of excitement, will exclaim, This is the man after my own heart!
You know the Presidente Tourvel, her devout life, her conjugal love, and the austerity of her principles; that is the object I attack; that is the enemy worthy of me; that is the point I intend to carry. I must tell you, the President is in Burgundy, prosecuting a considerable suit, (I hope to make him lose one of greater importance,) his inconsolable partner is to remain here the whole time of this afflicting widowhood. A mass each day, a few visits to the neighbouring poor, prayers morning and evening, a few solitary walks, pious conferences with my old aunt, and sometimes a melancholy game at whist, are her only amusements: but I am preparing some of a more efficacious nature for her. My guardian angel led me here for our mutual happiness. Fool that I was! I used to regret the time that I sacrificed to the customary ceremonies. How should I now be punished, by being obliged to return to Paris! Fortunately there must be four to make a whist party; and as there is no one here but the curate of the place, my eternal aunt has pressed me much to sacrifice a few days to her; you may judge, I did not refuse her. You can’t conceive how much she caresses me ever since; and above all, how much she is edified by seeing me so regular at mass and at prayers. But little does she imagine the divinity I adore there.
You know Madame Tourvel, her devoted life, her marital love, and her strict principles; that’s what I’m going after; that’s the worthy opponent; that’s my target. I must tell you, the President is in Burgundy dealing with a major lawsuit (I hope to get him to lose one that’s even more significant), and his heartbroken partner will be here the entire time of this painful widowhood. A daily mass, a few visits to the local poor, morning and evening prayers, some solitary walks, religious talks with my old aunt, and occasionally a sad game of whist are her only distractions: but I’m setting up some more effective diversions for her. My guardian angel brought me here for our mutual benefit. How foolish I was! I used to regret the time I wasted on the usual rituals. How am I now punished by having to return to Paris! Luckily, you need four people to play whist; and since there’s no one here except the local priest, my ever-persistent aunt has insisted that I spend a few days with her; you can guess, I didn’t refuse her. You wouldn’t believe how much she dotes on me ever since; especially how pleased she is to see me so consistent with mass and prayers. But she little suspects the divinity I worship there.
Thus, in the space of four days, have I given myself up to a violent passion. You are no stranger to the impetuosity of my desires, and how readily all obstacles fly before me: but I’ll tell you what you don’t know, that solitude adds immensely to the ardour of desire. I have but one idea; I cherish it by day, and dream on’t by night. I must possess this woman, lest I should be so ridiculous as to be in love; for whither may we not be led by frustrated desire? Oh, delicious enjoyment! I implore thee for my happiness, and, above all, for my repose. How happy it is for us, that the women make so weak a defence! Were it otherwise, we should be but their cowardly slaves. I feel myself at this moment penetrated with gratitude towards complaisant ladies, which, naturally leads me to you, at whose feet I prostrate myself to obtain my pardon, and finish this already too long letter. Adieu, my charming friend!
So, in just four days, I've completely given in to a strong passion. You already know how intense my desires can be and how easily I push through any barriers: but let me tell you something you don’t know—being alone makes desire even stronger. I have only one thought; I hold onto it during the day, and I dream about it at night. I must have this woman, or I risk looking foolish for being in love; what places might we be led to by unfulfilled desire? Oh, sweet pleasure! I beg for it for my happiness, and especially for my peace of mind. How lucky we are that women put up such a weak defense! If it were otherwise, we would be nothing but their cowardly slaves. Right now, I feel deeply grateful toward accommodating ladies, which naturally brings me to you, at whose feet I humbly seek forgiveness and aim to wrap up this already too long letter. Goodbye, my lovely friend!
Castle of ——, Aug. 3, 17—.
Castle of ——, Aug. 3, 17—.
LETTER V.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL, to the VISCOUNT VALMONT.
The Marchioness de Merteuil, to the Viscount Valmont.
Do you know, Viscount, your letter is wonderfully insolent, and has almost made me angry? But it plainly proves that you have lost your reason; and that consideration alone suppresses my indignation. Like a tender and generous friend, I forget my own injury, and am wholly taken up with your danger; and irksome as it is to enter into argument, I yield to the necessity of it at this time.
Do you realize, Viscount, your letter is incredibly rude and has nearly made me angry? But it clearly shows that you’ve lost your mind; and that fact alone keeps me from being upset. Like a caring and generous friend, I set aside my own grievances and focus entirely on your situation; and even though it’s frustrating to get into a debate, I feel I must do it right now.
You possess the Presidente Tourvel! What a ridiculous extravagance! I here plainly perceive your downright folly, whose nature is to desire that you cannot obtain. But let’s examine this woman. She has regular features, it’s true, but a total want of expression; a tolerable shape, but without the least elegance; dresses most horridly, with a bundle of ruffs about her neck, and her stays up to her chin. I tell you as a friend, two such women would be quite sufficient to ruin your reputation. Do you remember the day she collected for the poor at St. Roch, when you thank’d me so much for the view of so curious an exhibition. I think I see her still giving her hand to that great looby with the long hair, ready to fall at each step with her calash of four ells over every one’s head, and blushing at every courtesy. Who then would have dared to tell you, you will sigh for this woman? For shame, Viscount! Blush yourself, and return to reason. I’ll promise to keep this matter secret.
You have the Presidente Tourvel! What a ridiculous luxury! I can clearly see your complete folly, which is to want something you can’t have. But let’s take a closer look at this woman. She has attractive features, it’s true, but she lacks any expression; an okay figure, but without an ounce of elegance; she dresses terribly, with a bunch of ruffles around her neck and her corset up to her chin. I tell you as a friend, two such women would be more than enough to ruin your reputation. Do you remember the day she collected donations for the poor at St. Roch, when you thanked me so much for getting to see such an interesting sight? I can still picture her handing her hand to that big oaf with the long hair, about to trip at every step with her ridiculously oversized bonnet, blushing at every polite gesture. Who then would have dared to tell you that you would be pining for this woman? For shame, Viscount! Be ashamed, and come back to your senses. I promise to keep this between us.
Let us now examine the disagreeable consequences that await you. What rival have you to encounter? A husband. Don’t you feel yourself humiliated at that name? What a shame if you fail! and if you succeed, where is the glory?—I go farther: pleasure is out of the question; for who ever had any with a prude? I mean, with a sincere one: reserv’d in the very bosom of pleasure, they give you but half enjoyments. The entirely devoting one’s self, that delirium of voluptuousness, where pleasure is refined by excess—all those gifts of love are strangers to them. I’ll prognosticate for you: suppose your summit of happiness, you’ll find your Presidente will think she has done enough in treating you as a husband; and, be assured, that in the most tender conjugal tête-à-tête, the numerical distinction two is always apparent. But in this case it is much worse; your prude is a devotee, and of that sort you are in a perpetual state of childhood; perhaps you may get over this obstacle: but don’t flatter yourself that you’ll annihilate it. Should you conquer the love of God, you’ll not be able to dispel the fear of the devil; and though in holding your charmer in your arms, you may feel her heart palpitate, it will be from fear, not love. You might, perhaps, had you known this woman sooner, have made something of her; but she is now two-and-twenty, and has been married almost two years. Believe me, Viscount, when a woman is so far incrusted, she must be left to her fate; she will never be any thing more than an undistinguishable individual of a species.
Let’s look at the unpleasant consequences that are coming your way. Who do you have to face? A husband. Doesn’t that name make you feel embarrassed? What a shame if you fail! And if you do succeed, where’s the glory?—I’ll go further: enjoying yourself isn’t going to happen; who ever has had fun with a prude? I mean, with a genuinely sincere one: even in the moment of pleasure, they only give you half of the experience. Completely giving yourself over to pleasure, that ecstatic feeling where enjoyment is heightened by excess—all those gifts of love are foreign to them. Here’s what I predict: even if you reach your peak happiness, your Presidente will think she’s done enough by treating you as a husband; and believe me, in the most tender moments together, the fact that there are two of you will always be clear. But it’s even worse in this case; your prude is a devotee, and that makes you feel like you’re in a perpetual state of childhood; maybe you can overcome this hurdle, but don’t kid yourself into thinking you’ll eliminate it. If you conquer the love of God, you won’t be able to shake off the fear of the devil; and even if you hold your charm in your arms, that fluttering heart will beat out of fear, not love. You might have been able to achieve something if you had met this woman earlier, but she’s now twenty-two and has been married for almost two years. Trust me, Viscount, when a woman is that set in her ways, she should be left to her own fate; she will never be anything more than an indistinguishable part of a species.
And for such a curious object you refuse to obey me; you bury yourself in your aunt’s sepulchre; you abandon a most delicious adventure that is marked out for the advancement of your reputation. By what fatality is it, that Gercourt must always have the advantage of you?
And for such a intriguing object, you refuse to listen to me; you hide away in your aunt’s grave; you give up a fantastic opportunity that could boost your reputation. Why is it that Gercourt always seems to have the upper hand over you?
I declare I am not out of temper: but at this instant I am inclined to think you don’t deserve the reputation you possess; and I consider your conduct with such a degree of indignation, as tempts me to withdraw my confidence from you. No, I never can bring myself to make Madame de Tourvel’s lover the confidant of my secret designs.
I honestly believe I'm not angry right now, but at this moment, I feel like you don't deserve the reputation you have. Your behavior makes me so upset that I'm tempted to stop trusting you. No, I can never allow myself to make Madame de Tourvel's lover the person I confide in about my secret plans.
I will tell you, however, that the little Volanges has made a conquest. Young Danceny is distracted for her. He has sung with her, and she really sings better than belongs to a convent boarder. They have yet many duos to rehearse together, and I am much mistaken if she would not readily get into unison with him; it is true, Danceny is but a boy yet, who will waste his time in making love, but never will come to the point. Little Volanges is wild enough; but at all events, it will never be so pleasing as you could have made it. I am out of temper with you, and shall most certainly fall out with the Chevalier when he comes home. I would advise him to be mild, for at this time I should feel no difficulty to break with him.
I have to tell you that little Volanges has made a conquest. Young Danceny is totally into her. He has sung with her, and she honestly sings better than you'd expect from a convent boarder. They still have a lot of duets to practice together, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they easily harmonized; it's true, Danceny is just a boy who will waste his time on romance but never actually get serious. Little Volanges is quite wild, but honestly, it will never be as enjoyable as it could have been with you. I'm really annoyed with you, and I will definitely have a fallout with the Chevalier when he comes back. I’d advise him to be nice because right now, I wouldn’t hesitate to end things with him.
I am certain that if I had sense enough to break off with him now, he would be a prey to the most violent despair; yet nothing diverts me more than an enraged lover. He, perhaps, would call me perfidious, and that word has ever pleased me; it is, after the epithet cruel, the sweetest to a woman’s ear, and the least painful to deserve. I will seriously ruminate on this rupture. You are the cause of all this—I shall leave it on your conscience. Adieu! recommend me to your Presidente in her prayers.
I’m sure that if I were smart enough to end things with him now, he would be overwhelmed with despair; yet nothing amuses me more than an angry lover. He might call me treacherous, and I’ve always liked that term; it’s, after the word cruel, the sweetest to a woman's ears and the least painful to actually deserve. I will seriously think about this breakup. You are the reason for all this—I’ll leave that on your conscience. Goodbye! Please keep me in your Presidente's prayers.
Paris, Aug. 7, 17—.
Paris, Aug. 7, 1717—.
LETTER VI.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Vicomte de Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
There is then no woman that does not abuse the empire she has gained; and you, whom I have so often called my indulgent friend, are no longer so, you are not afraid to attack me even in the very object of my affections. What a picture have you drawn of Madame de Tourvel! What man would not have forfeited his life by so daring an act of insolence? And what woman but you would not, at least, have determined me to blast her reputation? For heaven’s sake! never put me to such rude trials again. I will not be answerable for the consequence. In the name of friendship, have patience till I have this woman, if you must slander her. Don’t you know, that the time for its causing any impression on me will be after I have enjoyed her? But where do I wander? Does Madame de Tourvel, in order to inspire a passion, need any deception? No; to be adorable, ’tis enough she is herself. You find fault with her dress: you are right; all ornaments are prejudicial to her; every thing that hides her lovely form is hurtful. It is in unaffected negligence she is truly ravishing. Thanks to the suffocating heat of the season, a deshabille of plain lawn adorns her charming, easy shape. A thin muslin handkerchief covers her bosom; and my stolen, but penetrating glances, have already seized its enchanting form. You say her figure has no expression. What should it express, when nothing speaks to her heart? No, indubitably, she has not, like our coquettes, those false looks, which sometimes seduce, but ever deceive. She knows not how to fill up a void of phrase by an affected smile; and though she has the finest teeth in the world, she only laughs at what pleases her. But she is particularly admirable in the most trifling amusements, where she gives the picture of the frankest and most natural gaiety. In visiting a wretched being that she hastens to relieve, her looks declare the unsullied joy and compassionate bounty of her heart. At the most trifling expression of praise or flattery, the tender embarrassment of unaffected modesty is suffused over her celestial figure. She is a prude and devotee, and thence you conclude, she is cold and inanimate. I think quite otherwise. What astonishing sensibility must she not have, to diffuse it as far as her husband, and to love a being always absent! What stronger proof can you require? I found out a method, however, to obtain another; I directed our walk in such a manner that we had a ditch to leap over, and although very active, she is still more timid—you may very well judge a prude dreads taking a leap. She was obliged to trust herself to me. I raised this modest woman in my arms. Our preparations, and the skip of my old aunt, made our sprightly devotee laugh most immoderately: but as soon as I seized on her, by a dexterous awkwardness, our arms were mutually entwined in each other; I pressed her bosom against mine, and in this short interval I felt her heart palpitate more quickly; a lovely blush covered her face, and her modest embarrassment informed me her heart beat with love and not with fear. My aunt was deceived as you had been, and said, “The child is frightened;” but the charming candour of this child would not permit her to countenance a lie, and she ingenuously answered, “Oh, no; but—” That word alone has cleared up my doubts. From this instant, sweet hope has banished cruel inquietude. I will have this woman. I will take her from a husband who does not deserve her. I’ll even snatch her from the god she adores.
There’s no woman who doesn’t misuse the power she has; and you, my once-indulgent friend, aren’t afraid to challenge me even over the one I care about. What a picture you’ve painted of Madame de Tourvel! What man wouldn’t have risked his life for such a bold act of insolence? And what woman but you wouldn’t have at least tried to ruin her reputation? For heaven’s sake, don’t put me through such harsh tests again. I can’t be responsible for the outcome. In the name of friendship, have patience until I win her over, if you must slander her. Don’t you realize that the time for it to impact me will be after I’ve been with her? But where am I going with this? Does Madame de Tourvel need any deception to inspire passion? No; to be enchanting, it’s enough that she is herself. You criticize her outfit: you’re right; all adornments work against her; anything that hides her beautiful shape is harmful. She is truly captivating in her natural state. Thanks to the stifling heat of the season, a simple gown shows off her lovely, easy shape. A thin muslin scarf covers her chest, and my covert but intense glances have already captured its enchanting outline. You say her figure lacks expression. What should it express when nothing touches her heart? No, definitely not; she doesn’t have the false expressions like our flirts that can sometimes charm but always deceive. She doesn’t know how to fill a silence with a forced smile; and even though she has the most beautiful teeth in the world, she only laughs at what genuinely pleases her. Yet she is particularly wonderful in the simplest of amusements, where she radiates the most genuine and natural joy. In visiting a miserable soul that she rushes to help, her expression reveals the pure joy and generous kindness of her heart. At the slightest hint of praise or compliments, a sweet, shy embarrassment washes over her celestial figure. You think she’s a prude and a devotee, and therefore cold and lifeless. I think otherwise. What amazing sensitivity she must possess to extend it to her husband and to love someone who is always absent! What stronger proof do you need? I even found a way to get more proof; I led our walk in such a way that we had a ditch to jump over, and though she’s quite nimble, she’s even more timid—you can imagine how a prude fears leaping. She had to trust herself to me. I lifted this modest woman in my arms. Our preparations and the hop of my old aunt made our lively devotee laugh uncontrollably: but as soon as I lifted her, our arms naturally intertwined; I pressed her chest against mine, and in that brief moment, I felt her heart race; a lovely blush spread across her face, and her sweet embarrassment told me her heart was racing from love, not fear. My aunt was misled just like you were, and said, “The child is frightened;” but the sweet honesty of this child wouldn’t allow her to lie, and she honestly replied, “Oh, no; but—” That single word has cleared my doubts. From that moment, sweet hope has chased away cruel anxiety. I will have this woman. I will take her from a husband who doesn’t deserve her. I’ll even snatch her from the god she worships.
How delicious to be by turns the object and conqueror of her remorse! Far be from me the idea of curing her of her prejudices! they will add to my glory and happiness. Let her rely on her virtue, and sacrifice it. Let her crime terrify her, without being able to resist its impulse; and, alarmed with a thousand terrors, let her neither be able to forget or conquer them but in my embraces.
How delightful to be both the cause and the victor of her guilt! I would never dream of freeing her from her biases; they’ll only enhance my glory and joy. Let her trust in her goodness while giving it up. Let her wrongdoing frighten her, even as she can't resist its pull; and, filled with countless fears, let her find no way to forget or overcome them except in my arms.
Then I’ll consent to her saying, “I adore thee.” She, of all your sex, will be the only one worthy to pronounce that word. Then shall I truly be the god of her idolatry. Confess ingenuously to me, that in our arrangements, as indifferent as they are free, what we style happiness scarce deserves the name of pleasure. I’ll freely acknowledge, I imagined my heart withered, and incapable only of sensual gratification; I began to deplore my prematurely advanced age; Madame de Tourvel has restored me to the illusive charms of youth. With her, actual enjoyment is not necessary to my happiness. The only thing that alarms me is the time this adventure will take up; for I am resolved to risk nothing. In vain do I bring to remembrance my successful acts of temerity on many occasions; I can’t think of attempting them now. To crown my bliss, she must give herself up, and that’s not an easy matter to accomplish.
Then I’ll agree to her saying, “I adore you.” She, out of all your kind, will be the only one worthy to say that. Then I will truly be the god of her devotion. Honestly admit to me that in our arrangements, as carefree as they are, what we call happiness hardly deserves to be called pleasure. I'll openly admit, I thought my heart had shriveled up, only capable of physical satisfaction; I started to regret my prematurely old age; Madame de Tourvel has brought back the illusory charms of youth for me. With her, actual enjoyment isn’t necessary for my happiness. The only thing that worries me is how long this adventure will last; because I'm determined not to take any risks. I can’t recall my past successful bold actions and think of trying them now. To complete my happiness, she must surrender to me, and that’s not an easy thing to achieve.
I am confident even you must approve my discretion, for as yet I have not mentioned the word love; but we are already got as far as those of friendship and confidence. In order to deceive her as little as possible, and, above all, to guard against any thing that may come to her knowledge which might shock her, I have myself related to her, by way of self-accusation, some of my most remarkable adventures. You would be delighted to see how innocently she catechises me. She says she is determined to make a convert of me: but has not the least suspicion how much the purchase will cost her. She does not think, that her becoming advocate, to use her own words, for the many I have undone, she is beforehand pleading her own cause.
I’m sure even you would agree with my judgment, since I haven’t even mentioned the word love yet; but we’ve already moved to the level of friendship and trust. To mislead her as little as possible, and especially to protect her from anything that might shock her, I’ve confessed some of my most remarkable experiences. You would be amused to see how innocently she questions me. She claims she’s determined to convert me, but she has no idea how much it’s going to cost her. She doesn’t realize that by becoming an advocate, as she puts it, for the many I have undone, she’s actually arguing her own case.
This idea struck me yesterday, in the midst of one of her little sermons, and I could not resist the pleasure of interrupting her, to tell her that she spoke like a prophet. Adieu, my lovely friend! you see I am not totally lost.
This idea hit me yesterday during one of her little talks, and I couldn't help but interrupt her to say that she sounded like a prophet. Goodbye, my lovely friend! You see I'm not completely lost.
P. S. But what’s become of our poor Chevalier? Has he destroyed himself in a fit of despair? Indeed you are a million of times worse than I; and if I was vain, you’d mortify me to be so much outdone.
P. S. But what happened to our poor Chevalier? Has he ruined himself in a moment of despair? Honestly, you're a million times worse than I am; and if I were vain, you'd make me feel embarrassed for being so outdone.
From the Castle of ——,
Aug. 9, 17—.
From the Castle of ——,
Aug. 9, 17—.
LETTER VII.
If I have not said any thing to you as yet of my marriage, it is because I am as ignorant of the matter as the first day I came home. I begin to accustom myself not to think about it, and I am very happy as I am. I practice my harpsichord and singing much; and I am fonder of them than when I had a master, or rather now I have got a better one. The Chevalier Danceny, the gentleman I mentioned to you before, with whom I sang at Madame Merteuil’s, is so obliging to come every day to sing with me for hours together. He is exceedingly agreeable. He sings like an angel, and sets the words of his own composition to very pretty music. It is a great pity he is a Knight of Malta! I think, were he to embark in wedlock, his wife would be very happy. He is the sweetest creature breathing. Without the affectation of complaisance, every thing he does is endearing. He always chides me about music, or some other trifle; but he blends with his censures so much concern and good nature, that one can’t help being pleased. His very looks seem to speak obliging things. And with all this, he is the most complaisant man possible: for instance; yesterday he was asked to a private concert, but spent the evening at Mamma’s, which gratified me exceedingly; for, when he is absent, I have no one to speak to, and am quite stupid: but, when he is with us, we chat and sing together, and he always has something to say to me. Madame de Merteuil and he are the only two amiable persons I yet know. Adieu, my dear friend! I promised to be perfect to-day in a little air, with a very difficult accompaniment, and I must keep my word. I must set about practising it against his return.
If I haven't mentioned my marriage to you yet, it’s because I’m just as clueless about it as I was the first day I got home. I'm starting to get used to not thinking about it, and I'm really happy as I am. I've been practicing my harpsichord and singing a lot, and I actually enjoy them more now than when I had a teacher—it's like I've found a better one. The Chevalier Danceny, the guy I told you about before, with whom I sang at Madame Merteuil’s, is kind enough to come every day to sing with me for hours. He’s really charming. He sings beautifully and sets his own lyrics to lovely music. It's such a shame he's a Knight of Malta! I think if he ever got married, his wife would be incredibly lucky. He’s the sweetest person you could meet. Without trying too hard to be polite, everything he does is endearing. He often teases me about music or some other little thing, but he mixes so much warmth and kindness with his teasing that it's impossible to be annoyed. His smile even seems to say nice things. On top of that, he’s the most considerate person around. For example, yesterday he was invited to a private concert but spent the evening at my mom’s, which made me really happy because when he's not around, I have no one to talk to and feel really bored. But when he’s with us, we chat and sing together, and he always has something to say to me. Madame de Merteuil and he are the only two genuinely nice people I know so far. Goodbye, my dear friend! I promised I would master a little piece today with a very tough accompaniment, and I have to keep my word. I need to start practicing it for when he returns.
From ——, Aug. 7, 17—.
From ——, Aug. 7, 1717.
[1] Not to tire the reader’s patience, we suppress many of the letters of this daily correspondence, and give only them we think necessary for unfolding the events of this society. For the same reason we suppress all those of Sophia Carnay, and several of those of the actors in this piece.
[1] To avoid tiring the reader, we’ve left out many letters from this daily correspondence and are only including those we believe are essential to explain the events of this society. For the same reason, we’ve also omitted all letters from Sophia Carnay and several from the other characters in this story.
LETTER VIII.
Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE VOLANGES.
President DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE VOLANGES.
Permit me, Madam, to assure you, no one can be more sensible of the confidence you repose in me, nor have more at heart the happy establishment of Mademoiselle de Volanges than I have. With my whole soul I wish her that felicity which I am confident she merits, and which I have no doubt she will obtain through your prudence. I have not the honour of knowing Count Gercourt, but conceive the most favourable opinion of him, as he is your choice. I limit my good wishes to the hope that this match may be as happy as mine, which was also one of your making, and which gratitude daily calls to my remembrance. May the happiness of Mademoiselle de Volanges be the reward of that I enjoy, and may the best of friends be also the happiest of mothers!
Allow me, Madam, to assure you that no one appreciates the trust you place in me more than I do, nor cares more about the successful future of Mademoiselle de Volanges. With all my heart, I wish her the happiness that I believe she deserves and that I’m sure she will achieve with your careful guidance. I don't have the honor of knowing Count Gercourt, but I have the highest regard for him since he is your choice. I can only hope that this union turns out to be as happy as mine, which was also arranged by you, and for which I am grateful every day. May Mademoiselle de Volanges's happiness be the reward for my own, and may the best of friends also be the happiest of mothers!
I am really mortified that I am not at present able, personally, to assure you of the grateful sentiments of my heart, and to accomplish what I wish for much, an acquaintance with Mademoiselle de Volanges.
I’m truly embarrassed that I can’t currently assure you in person of my heartfelt gratitude and do what I really want to do, which is to get to know Mademoiselle de Volanges.
After having experienced your maternal fondness, I think I am entitled to the tender friendship of a sister from her. I entreat you, Madam, to claim it for me, until I have it in my power to deserve it. I propose residing in the country during Mr. de Tourvel’s absence. I now enjoy and improve in the respectable company of Madame Rosemonde. This lady is ever delightful; her great age has not the least impaired her gaiety or memory; her body may be eighty-four, but her understanding is only twenty. Our retirement is enlivened by the Viscount Valmont, her nephew, who has condescended to spend a few days with us. I only knew him by character, which gave me an unfavourable opinion of him, that now I don’t think he deserves. Here, where the bustle of the world does not affect him, he is very agreeable, and owns his failings with great candour. He converses with me very confidentially, and I sometimes sermonize him with asperity; you, who know him well, will, I dare say, think such a conversion worth attempting: but I am afraid, notwithstanding all his promises, eight days in Paris will destroy all my labours; however, his residence here will be so much gained from his general course of life, and I am clear, that the best thing he can do will be to remain in inactivity. He knows that I am now writing to you, and begs leave to present his most respectful compliments. I beg you’ll also accept mine with that condescension you have ever had for me, and be assured of the sincerity of the sentiments with which I have the honour to be, &c.
After experiencing your motherly kindness, I believe I deserve the close friendship of a sister from her. I ask you, Madam, to seek it for me until I can earn it myself. I plan to stay in the countryside while Mr. de Tourvel is away. I'm currently enjoying and growing in the wonderful company of Madame Rosemonde. This lady is always a delight; her great age hasn’t affected her cheerfulness or memory at all; while her body may be eighty-four, her mind is only twenty. Our time together is brightened by the presence of her nephew, Viscount Valmont, who has graciously decided to spend a few days with us. I only knew him by reputation, which gave me a negative impression that I no longer think he deserves. Here, away from the chaos of the world, he is quite pleasant and openly acknowledges his flaws. He confides in me, and sometimes I lecture him quite sternly; you, who know him well, will probably think such a transformation is worth pursuing. But I fear that despite all his promises, just eight days in Paris will undo all my efforts; however, having him here will be a benefit compared to his usual lifestyle, and I believe the best thing he can do is to stay inactive. He knows I'm writing to you and sends his most respectful regards. Please accept my compliments as well, with the grace you have always shown me, and know that my feelings are sincere with which I have the honor to be, &c.
From the Castle of ——,
Aug. 9, 17—.
From the Castle of ——,
Aug. 9, 17—.
LETTER IX.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to the President de Tourvel.
I never yet doubted, my young and charming friend, of your friendship for me, nor of the interest you take in all my concerns. It is not to clear up this point, on which I hope we are for ever agreed, that I reply to your answer; but I think myself obliged to say a word or two relative to Viscount Valmont.
I have never questioned, my young and charming friend, your friendship for me or the interest you show in all my matters. I'm not responding to clarify this point, which I hope we both agree on forever; instead, I feel compelled to say a few words about Viscount Valmont.
I must own, I did not expect to meet such a name in a letter from you. How is it possible there can be any communication between you and him? You do not know that man. Where did you find the idea you have imbibed of the heart of a libertine? You tell me of his uncommon candour; yes, truly, Valmont’s candour is very uncommon. He is yet more false and dangerous than he is lovely and seducing: never since his earliest youth, has he taken a step, or spoke a word, without a design; and never formed a design that was not criminal or improper. My dear friend, you know me; you know that of all the virtues I endeavour to acquire, indulgence is the one I cherish most; and if Valmont had been hurried away by the impetuosity of his passions, or if, like a thousand more at his time of life, he had been seduced by the errors of youth, I would have compassionated his person, blamed his conduct, and have patiently waited until time, the happy maturer of green years, should have made him fit for the society and esteem of worthy people: but that’s not Valmont’s case; his conduct is the result of principle; he calculates how far a man can proceed in villainy without risking reputation, and has chosen women for his victims, that his sacrifices may be wicked and cruel without danger. I shall not dwell on the numbers he has seduced; but how many has he not utterly undone? Those scandalous anecdotes never come within the sphere of your retired and regular course of life. I could, however, relate you some that would make you shudder; but your mind, pure as your soul, would be defiled with such descriptions: convinced, as I am, that Valmont will never be an object of danger to you, such armour is unnecessary to guard you. I can’t, however, refrain telling you, that successful or not, no woman he ever yet dangled after, but had reason to repent her folly. The only exception to this general rule is the Marchioness de Merteuil; she alone has been capable not only of resisting, but of completely defeating his wickedness.
I have to admit, I didn't expect to see that name in a letter from you. How can there possibly be any connection between you and him? You don't even know that guy. Where did you get the idea you've formed about him being a romantic? You talk about his unusual honesty; yes, Valmont’s honesty is truly unusual. He is even more deceitful and dangerous than he is charming and seductive: never in his whole life has he acted or spoken without some ulterior motive, and he’s never had a motive that wasn’t immoral or inappropriate. My dear friend, you know me; you know that out of all the virtues I strive for, tolerance is the one I value the most; and if Valmont had been swept away by the force of his desires, or if, like so many others his age, he had been led astray by the mistakes of youth, I would have felt sorry for him, criticized his actions, and patiently waited until time, the great teacher of youth, made him worthy of the company and respect of good people: but that’s not Valmont’s situation; his behavior comes from principle; he calculates how far someone can go in wrongdoing without damaging their reputation and targets women as his victims so his acts can be wicked and cruel without consequence. I won’t go into the number of women he has seduced, but think about how many he has completely ruined. Those scandalous stories never reach the realm of your quiet and orderly life. I could share some with you that would horrify you; but your mind, as pure as your soul, would be tarnished by such tales: I’m convinced that Valmont will never pose a threat to you, so you don’t need any armor to protect yourself. However, I can’t help but tell you that whether successful or not, every woman he has pursued has had reason to regret her foolishness. The only exception to this rule is the Marchioness de Merteuil; she alone has managed not only to resist him but to completely thwart his wickedness.
I must acknowledge, this trait in her character strikes me the most forcibly; and has amply justified her to the world for some trifling indiscretions in the outset of her widowhood.[1] However, my charming friend, authorised as I am, by age, experience, and much more by friendship, I am obliged to inform you, the world take notice of Valmont’s absence; and that if they come to know that he has for any time formed a trio with you and his aunt, your reputation will be at his mercy, which is the greatest misfortune that can happen to a woman. I therefore advise you to prevail on his aunt not to detain him longer; and if he should still determine to remain, I think you should not hesitate a moment on quitting the place. But why should he remain? How does he employ himself in the country? I am certain, if his motions were watched, you would discover that he has only taken up his residence in that commodious retreat for the accomplishment of some act of villainy he meditates in the neighbourhood.
I have to say, this quality in her character stands out to me the most and really justifies her to the world for some minor mistakes she made at the start of her widowhood.[1] However, my lovely friend, since I’m qualified by age, experience, and especially by friendship, I need to let you know that people notice Valmont’s absence; and if they find out he's formed a trio with you and his aunt for any length of time, your reputation will be at his mercy, which is the worst thing that can happen to a woman. So, I advise you to convince his aunt not to keep him away any longer; and if he still decides to stay, I think you shouldn’t hesitate to leave the place. But why would he stay? How does he keep himself busy in the countryside? I’m sure if someone watched his movements, you’d find out that he’s only settled into that comfortable retreat to carry out some kind of shady scheme he’s planning in the area.
When it is not in our power to prevent an evil, let us at least take care to preserve ourselves from its consequences. Adieu! my lovely friend. An accident retards my daughter’s marriage for some little time. Count Gercourt, whom we daily expected, informs me his regiment is ordered for Corsica; and as the military operations are not yet over, it will be impossible for him to return before winter: this disconcerts me; however, it gives me hope we shall have your company at the wedding; and I was vexed it should take place without you. Adieu! I am as free from compliment as reserve, entirely yours.
When we can’t stop something bad from happening, let’s at least make sure to protect ourselves from its fallout. Goodbye, my dear friend. An issue is delaying my daughter’s marriage for a little while. Count Gercourt, whom we were expecting daily, just let me know that his regiment has been sent to Corsica, and since the military actions aren’t finished yet, he won’t be able to come back until winter. This throws a wrench in things for me, but it gives me hope that we’ll have you with us at the wedding, and I was upset it would happen without you. Goodbye! I am completely yours, without any pretense or formality.
P. S. Bring me back to the recollection of Madame de Rosemonde, whom I shall always love for her great merit.
P.S. Remind me of Madame de Rosemonde, whom I will always love for her immense worth.
LETTER X.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL, to VISCOUNT VALMONT.
The Marchioness de Merteuil, to Viscount Valmont.
Are you out of temper with me, Viscount, or are you dead, or, which is pretty much the same, do you live no longer but for your Presidente? This woman, who has restored you to the illusive charms of youth, will also soon restore you to its ridiculous follies. You are already a timid slave; you may as well be in love at once. You renounce your happy acts of temerity on many occasions; and thus, without any principle to direct you, give yourself up to caprice, or rather chance. Do you know, that love is like physic, only the art of assisting nature? You see I fight you on your own ground, but it shall not excite any vanity in me; for there is no great honour in engaging a vanquished enemy. She must give herself up, you tell me; without doubt she must, and will, as others, but with this difference, that she’ll do it awkwardly. But that it may terminate in her giving herself up, the true method is to begin by taking her. What a ridiculous distinction, what nonsense in a love matter; I say love; for you really are in love. To speak otherwise would be deceiving you, would be concealing your disorder from you. Tell me, then, my dear sighing swain, of the different women you have had, do you think you gained any of them by force? Whatever inclination we may have to yield, however we feel our compliance unavoidable, still must there be a pretence; and can there be a more commodious one for us, than that which gives us the appearance of being overcome by force? For my part, I own nothing charms me to much as a brisk lively attack, where every thing is carried on with regularity, but with rapidity; which never puts us to the painful dilemma of being ourselves constrained to remedy an awkwardness which, on the contrary, we should convert to our advantage; and which keeps up the appearance of violence, even when we yield, and dexterously flatters our two favourite passions, the glory of a defence, and the pleasure of a defeat. I must own that this talent, which is more uncommon than one would imagine, always pleased me, even when it did not guide me, and that it has sometimes happened that I have only surrendered from gratitude: thus, in our tournaments of old, beauty gave the prize to valour and address.
Are you upset with me, Viscount, or have you become a shell of your former self, or, which is pretty much the same, do you only live for your Presidente? This woman, who has brought back the illusory charms of youth for you, will soon lead you back to its silly distractions. You're already a timid servant; you might as well be in love right now. You’re giving up your happy acts of boldness on many occasions; and so, without any principles to guide you, you’re giving in to whims or, rather, luck. Do you know that love is like medicine, just the art of helping nature? Look, I’m arguing from your perspective, but it won’t inflate my ego; there’s no real honor in fighting a defeated opponent. She must give herself up, you say; of course, she must and will, like others, but with this difference: she’ll do it awkwardly. But for it to lead to her surrender, the best way is to start by taking her. What a silly distinction, what nonsense in matters of love; I say love because you really are in love. To say otherwise would be to deceive you, to hide your ailment from you. So tell me, my dear lovesick friend, did you ever win any of the women you’ve had by force? No matter how much we want to give in, no matter how inevitable our compliance feels, there has to be a pretense; and can there be a better one for us than one that makes it seem like we’re overpowered? For my part, I confess that nothing enchants me more than a bold, spirited attack, where everything is conducted orderly, yet quickly; which never puts us in the uncomfortable position of having to fix an awkward situation that, instead, we should turn to our advantage; and which maintains the appearance of force, even when we give in, cleverly flattering our two favorite feelings, the pride of defense and the joy of defeat. I must admit that this skill, which is more rare than you’d think, has always appealed to me, even when it didn’t guide me, and there have been times I've only surrendered out of gratitude: thus, in our past tournaments, beauty awarded the prize to bravery and skill.
But you, you who are no longer yourself, you proceed as if you dreaded success. And pray how long is it since you have fallen into the method of travelling so gently, and in such bye-roads? Believe me, when one has a mind to arrive, post-horses and the high road is the only method.
But you, you who aren’t yourself anymore, you act as if you’re afraid of success. And how long has it been since you started taking such a gentle approach and wandering down these back roads? Trust me, if you really want to get somewhere, taking fast horses and sticking to the main road is the only way.
But let us drop this subject; it the more puts me out of temper, as it deprives me of the pleasure of seeing you. At least, write me oftener than you do, and acquaint me with your progress. You seem to forget that this ridiculous piece of business has already taken up a fortnight of your time, and that you neglect every body.
But let's move on from this topic; it just puts me in a bad mood since it's keeping me from enjoying our time together. At the very least, write to me more often and let me know how you're doing. You seem to forget that this absurd situation has already taken up two weeks of your time, and you're ignoring everyone.
Now I mention neglect, you resemble those who send regularly to inquire of the state of health of their sick friends, and who never concern themselves about the answer. You finish your last letter by asking whether the Chevalier is dead. I make no reply, and you are no farther concerned about the matter; have you forgot my lover is your sworn friend? But comfort yourself; he is not dead; or if he was, it would be from excess of pleasure. This poor Chevalier, how tender! How formed for love! How sensibly he affects one! He distracts me. Seriously, then, his happiness in being loved by me, inspires me with a true affection for him.
Now that I bring up neglect, you remind me of those who regularly check in on the health of their sick friends but never really care about the answer. You end your last letter by asking if the Chevalier is dead. I don’t respond, and you don’t seem to care any further; have you forgotten that my lover is your sworn friend? But don’t worry; he’s not dead; and even if he were, it would be from too much happiness. This poor Chevalier, how sweet! How made for love! How deeply he affects me! He drives me crazy. Seriously, his happiness in being loved by me fills me with genuine affection for him.
The very day I wrote you that I was taken up in contriving our rupture, how happy did I not make him! And yet I was in earnest engaged how I should make him desperate when he appeared. Whether whim or inclination, he never appeared to so much advantage. However, I received him coolly; he expected to spend a couple of hours with me before my time of seeing company. I told him I was going abroad, he begg’d to know where; I refused to tell him. He insisted to know; where you will not be, I replied with some tartness. Happily for him he was petrified at my answer; for had he pronounced a syllable, a scene would have ensued which would infallibly have brought on the intended rupture. Astonished at his silence, I cast a look at him, with no other design, I swear, but to observe his countenance; I was instantly struck with the deep and tender sadness that covered this charming figure, which you have owned it is so difficult to resist. The same cause produced the same effect; I was a second time overcome; from that instant I endeavoured to prevent his having any reason to complain. I am going out on business, said I, in a milder tone, and the business relates to you; ask no more questions. I shall sup at home; at your return you’ll know all: he then recovered his speech; but I would not suffer him to go on. I’m in great haste, continued I. Leave me until night. He kissed my hand and departed. In order to make him, or perhaps myself, amends, I immediately resolved to show him my villa, of which he had not the least suspicion; I called my faithful maid, Victoire. I am seized with my dizziness, said I; let all my servants know I am gone to bed; when alone, I desired her to put on a footman’s dress, and metamorphosed myself into a chamber-maid.
The very day I wrote to you about planning our breakup, how happy I made him! And yet I was genuinely focused on how to make him desperate when he arrived. Whether by chance or desire, he never looked better. I greeted him coldly; he expected to spend a couple of hours with me before my guests arrived. I told him I was going out, and he begged to know where. I refused to tell him. He insisted; where you won’t be, I replied a bit sharply. Luckily for him, he was shocked by my response; had he said a word, a scene would have definitely led to the breakup I intended. Surprised by his silence, I glanced at him, not with any other intention, I swear, but to study his expression; I was immediately struck by the deep and tender sadness that covered that charming face, which you have said is so hard to resist. The same cause led to the same effect; I was once again overwhelmed; from that moment, I tried to ensure he had no reason to complain. “I’m going out on business,” I said in a gentler tone, “and it concerns you; don’t ask any more questions. I’ll have dinner at home; when you return, you’ll know everything.” He then found his voice again, but I wouldn’t let him continue. “I’m in a big hurry,” I went on. “Leave me until tonight.” He kissed my hand and left. To make it up to him, or maybe myself, I immediately decided to show him my villa, of which he had no clue; I called my loyal maid, Victoire. “I’m feeling dizzy,” I said; “let all my servants know I’ve gone to bed.” Once alone, I asked her to dress as a footman, and I transformed myself into a chambermaid.
She ordered a hackney-coach to my garden-door, and we instantly set out; Being arrived at this temple dedicated to love, I put on my genteelest deshabille; a most delicious one, and of my own invention: it leaves nothing exposed, but every thing for fancy to imagine. I promise you the pattern for your Presidente, when you shall have rendered her worthy of wearing it.
She called a cab to my garden door, and we set off right away. Once we got to this temple dedicated to love, I put on my fanciest casual outfit; it was really lovely and totally my own design: it shows nothing but leaves everything for the imagination. I’ll share the pattern with you for your Presidente when you've made her worthy of wearing it.
After those preparations, whilst Victoire was taken up with other matters, I read a chapter of the Sopha, a letter of the New Eloisa, and two of La Fontaine’s Tales, to rehearse the different characters I intended to assume. In the mean time, my Chevalier came to my house, with his usual eagerness. My porter refused him admittance, and informing him I was indisposed, delivered him a note from me, but not of my writing; according to my usual discretion. He opens, and finds in Victoire’s writing;—“At nine precisely, at the Boulevard, opposite the coffee-houses.”
After those preparations, while Victoire was busy with other things, I read a chapter of the Sopha, a letter from the New Eloisa, and two of La Fontaine’s Tales to practice the different characters I planned to play. Meanwhile, my Chevalier came to my house, as eager as ever. My porter wouldn’t let him in and told him I was unwell, handing him a note from me, though it wasn’t actually my handwriting; just my usual caution. He opens it and sees in Victoire’s handwriting: “At nine sharp, at the Boulevard, across from the coffee houses.”
Thither he proceeds, and a little footman whom he does not know, or at least thinks he does not know, for it was Victoire, tells him he must send back his carriage and follow him. All this romantic proceeding heated his imagination, and on such occasions a heated imagination is useful. At last he arrives, and love and astonishment produced in him the effect of a real enchantment. In order to give him time to recover from his surprise, we walked a while in the grove; I then brought him back to the house. The first thing which presented itself to his view, was a table with two covers, and a bed prepared. From thence we went into the cabinet, which was most elegantly decorated. There, in suspense, between reflection and sentiment, I flung my arms around him, and letting myself fall at his knees—“Alas! my dear friend,” said I, “what reproaches do I not deserve, for having, for a moment, given you uneasiness by an affected ill-humour, in order to enhance the pleasure and surprise of this moment, for having concealed my heart from your tenderness! Forgive me; I will expiate my crime with the most ardent love.” You may guess what was the effect of this sentimental declaration. The happy Chevalier raised me, and my pardon was sealed on the same sopha where you and I, in a similar way, so cheerfully sealed our eternal rupture.
He makes his way there, and a footman he doesn’t recognize, or at least thinks he doesn’t recognize, tells him he needs to send back his carriage and follow him. This romantic scenario ignited his imagination, and a fired-up imagination comes in handy on occasions like this. Finally, he arrives, and love and surprise hit him like a real spell. To give him time to collect himself, we strolled for a bit in the grove; then I took him back to the house. The first thing he saw was a table set for two and a prepared bed. From there, we went into the cabinet, which was beautifully decorated. Caught between thought and feeling, I threw my arms around him and fell to my knees—“Oh! my dear friend,” I said, “what reproaches do I deserve for briefly causing you worry with my feigned bad mood, just to heighten the joy and surprise of this moment, for hiding my heart from your affection! Forgive me; I’ll make amends with the most passionate love.” You can guess the impact of this emotional confession. The joyful Chevalier lifted me up, and my forgiveness was sealed on the same sofa where you and I, in a similar fashion, so happily sealed our eternal breakup.
As we had six hours to pass together, and that I was determined the whole time should be devoted to delight him, I moderated his transports, and called lovely coquetry to the aid of tenderness. I don’t know I ever took so much pains to please, or ever, in my own opinion, succeeded so well. After supper, by turns, childish and rational, wanton and tender, sometimes even libertine. I took pleasure in considering him as a Sultan, in the midst of his Seraglio, to whom I alternately supplied the places of different favourites; and indeed, his reiterated offerings, though always received by the same woman, were received as by a new mistress.
As we had six hours to spend together, and I was determined to make sure he enjoyed every moment, I calmed his excitement and used playful flirtation to foster tenderness. I don’t think I’ve ever tried so hard to please someone, or felt that I succeeded so well. After dinner, we took turns being childish and sensible, playful and loving, sometimes even a bit wild. I enjoyed imagining him as a Sultan in his palace, while I filled the roles of different favorites for him; and even though he always offered his gifts to the same woman, it felt like he was giving them to a new lover every time.
At length, when day appeared, it was necessary to part; and notwithstanding all he said, and even what he did, to prove the contrary, there was, on his part, as much necessity for it, as want of inclination. At the instant of parting, for a last adieu, I delivered him the key of this happy mansion: I had it for you alone, said I, and it is fit you should be the master of it; it is but right the high priest should dispose of the temple. By this artifice, I anticipated any reflections which might arise in his mind relative to the propriety of a villa, which is ever matter of suspicion. I know him so well, that I’m certain he will never make use on’t but for me; and if I should have a fancy to go there without him, I have another key. He by all means would make an appointment for another day; but I as yet love him too much, to wear him out soon; the true maxim is, not give into excess, but with those one wishes to be rid of. This he is a stranger to; but, happily for him, I know it for us both.
Finally, when daybreak came, it was time to say goodbye; and despite everything he said and did to show otherwise, he felt just as much obligation to part as he did reluctance. At the moment of parting, for one last farewell, I handed him the key to this wonderful home: “I had it just for you,” I said, “and it’s only right that you should be the one in charge of it; it’s fitting that the high priest should control the temple.” With this little trick, I headed off any thoughts he might have about whether a villa was appropriate, which is always a topic of suspicion. I know him well enough to be sure he won’t use it for anyone but me; and if I ever want to go there without him, I have another key. He definitely wanted to set up a meeting for another day, but I still care for him too much to wear him out quickly; the real principle is not to overindulge, except with those you want to distance yourself from. He doesn't understand this, but luckily for him, I know it for both of us.
I perceive it is now three in the morning, and that I have wrote a volume, though I intended but a short letter. Such are the charms of confidential friendship; it is that confidential friendship that renders you the object I love most; but indeed the Chevalier is the object that pleases me most.
I see that it's now three in the morning, and I've written a whole book when I only meant to write a short letter. That’s the magic of close friendship; it's that deep connection that makes you the person I care about the most, but honestly, the Chevalier is the one who brings me the most joy.
From ——, Aug. 12, 17—.
From ——, Aug. 12, 17—.
LETTER XI.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME VOLANGES.
The President DE TOURVEL to MADAME VOLANGES.
The severity of your letter would have terrified me strangely, dear madam, if I had not here stronger reasons to think myself perfectly safe, than those you give me for apprehension. The formidable Mr. de Valmont, the terror of our sex, seems to have laid aside his murderous arms, before he entered this castle. Far from having formed any design, he did not even appear to have brought any claims; and the accomplishments of an amiable man, which his enemies even give to him, almost vanish to give place to the character of good-natured creature. Probably it is the country air has wrought this miracle; one thing I can assure you, tho’ incessantly with me, even seemingly pleased with my company, not a word that has the least tendency to love has escaped him, not even one of those phrases that most men assume, without having, like him, any thing to plead in their justification. Never does he put one under the necessity of flying for shelter to that reservedness to which a woman, who will maintain her dignity, is obliged to have recourse now-a-days, to keep the men within bounds. He does not abuse the gaiety he inspires. Perhaps he flatters a little too much; but it is with so much delicacy, that he would reconcile even modesty to praise. To conclude, had I a brother, I would wish him to be what Mr. de Valmont is here. There are many women, perhaps, would wish him to have a more pointed gallantry; and I own I am greatly obliged to him for the good opinion he entertains, by not confounding me with them.
The harshness of your letter would have freaked me out, dear madam, if I didn’t have better reasons to believe I’m completely safe than the ones you’ve given me for concern. The formidable Mr. de Valmont, the dread of our gender, seems to have set aside his deadly ways before entering this castle. Far from having any plans, he didn’t even seem to claim anything; and the charm of a nice guy, which even his enemies acknowledge, nearly disappears to reveal the character of a genuinely good-natured person. Maybe it’s the country air that has caused this change; one thing I can assure you is that, despite being constantly by my side and appearing to enjoy my company, he hasn’t said a single word that hints at love—not even one of those lines most guys throw around without, like him, having any real reason behind them. He never puts me in a position where I have to retreat into the kind of reserve that a woman must often rely on these days to keep men in check. He doesn’t abuse the lightheartedness he brings. Maybe he flatters a bit too much, but he does it so subtly that he could make even modesty feel comfortable with praise. To sum it up, if I had a brother, I would want him to be just like Mr. de Valmont here. Many women might wish he had a more pointed charm; and I must say I’m very grateful to him for holding a good opinion of me by not lumping me in with them.
This description undoubtedly differs very much from that you have given me; and yet they may both carry a resemblance, if we ascertain our times. He himself agrees he has done many wrong things, and, perhaps, the world has imputed many more to him. But I have seldom met with men who spoke more respectfully of women of character, almost to enthusiasm.
This description is definitely quite different from the one you shared with me; still, they might share some similarities if we consider our era. He himself admits he has done many wrong things, and maybe the world has blamed him for even more. But I've rarely come across men who speak so respectfully of women of good character, almost with enthusiasm.
In this point, at least, you inform me he is not a deceiver. I rest the proof on his conduct to Madame de Merteuil. He often speaks of her; and always so much in her praise, and with the appearance of so much affection, that I imagined, until I received your letter, that what he had called friendship was really love. I condemn myself for my rash opinion, in which I am the more blameable, as he himself has frequently spoke in her justification; and I own his honest sincerity I looked on as artifice. I don’t know, but it appears to me, that the man who is capable of so constant a friendship for a deserving woman, cannot be an abandoned libertine; but whether we are to attribute his prudent conduct here to any scheme in this neighbourhood, as you suppose, is a question. There are some few agreeable women around us; however, he seldom goes abroad except in the morning, and then he says he goes a shooting; he seldom brings home any game, it is true, but he tells us he is a bad shot. However, what he does out of doors, concerns me but little; and if I wished to be informed, it would be only to have one more reason to come into your opinion, or to bring you over to mine.
At this point, at least, you tell me he’s not a liar. I base this on how he treats Madame de Merteuil. He talks about her often, always praising her and showing so much affection that, until I got your letter, I thought what he called friendship was actually love. I regret my hasty judgment, especially since he has often defended her. I admit I viewed his honest sincerity as manipulation. I’m not sure, but it seems to me that a man capable of such unwavering friendship for a worthy woman can’t be a total libertine; however, whether we should attribute his careful behavior here to some scheme nearby, as you suggest, is up for debate. There are a few charming women around us; however, he rarely goes out except in the morning, claiming he’s going shooting. It’s true he seldom brings home any game, but he says he’s a bad shot. In any case, what he does outside doesn’t concern me much; if I wanted to know, it would only be to have another reason to agree with you or to sway you to my side.
As to what you propose, that I should endeavour to shorten the time of Mr. de Valmont’s residence here, it appears to me a matter of some difficulty, to desire an aunt not to have her nephew with her; and a nephew for whom she has the greatest affection. However, I promise you, through deference only, and not that I see any necessity for it, to take the first opportunity to make this request either to him or her. As to myself, Mr. de Tourvel is acquainted with my intention of remaining here until his return, and he would, with reason, be astonished at my levity. Thus, Madam, I have given you a long explanation; but I thought a justification of Mr. de Valmont to you, where it appears very necessary, a debt to truth. I am not the less sensible of the friendship which suggested your advice. I am also indebted to it for the obliging manner in which you acquaint me of the delay of Madame de Volanges’ nuptials, for which accept my most sincere thanks; but whatever pleasure I might expect on that occasion in your company, would be willingly sacrificed to the satisfaction of knowing Mademoiselle de Volanges’ happiness sooner completed, if, after all, she can be more so than with a mother, every way deserving her respect and tenderness. I partake with her those sentiments which attach me to you, and beg you’ll receive this assurance of them with your usual goodness.
Regarding your suggestion that I should try to shorten Mr. de Valmont’s stay here, it seems quite difficult to ask an aunt not to have her nephew with her, especially one she cares about so much. However, I promise to respectfully bring this up at my first opportunity, either with him or her, even though I don’t see it as necessary. As for me, Mr. de Tourvel knows I plan to stay until his return, and he would understandably be surprised by my carelessness if I were to leave early. So, Madam, I’ve given you a detailed explanation, but I felt it was important to justify Mr. de Valmont to you, which I consider a truth owed to you. I truly appreciate the friendship that inspired your advice. I’m also grateful for the kind way you informed me about the delay of Madame de Volanges’ wedding, for which I sincerely thank you. However, any joy I might expect from that event in your company would gladly be sacrificed for the satisfaction of knowing Mademoiselle de Volanges’ happiness is secured sooner, if she can indeed be happier with a mother who deserves her respect and affection. I share those feelings with her that connect me to you, and I ask that you accept this assurance of my feelings with your usual kindness.
I have the honour to be, &c.
I am honored to be, &c.
From ——, Aug. 13, 17—.
From ——, Aug. 13, 17—.
LETTER XII.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Madam,
Ma'am,
My Mamma is indisposed; she will not go out to-day, and I must keep her company: thus I am deprived the honour of attending you to the opera. I assure you I regret more the loss of your company than the performance. I hope you are persuaded of this, for I have a great affection for you. Be so good to tell the Chevalier Danceny, I have not yet got the collection which he mentioned, and that if he can bring it himself to-morrow, I shall be obliged to him. If he comes to-day, he will be told we are not at home; but the reason is, Mamma sees no company. I hope she will be better to-morrow.
My mom isn’t feeling well; she won’t be going out today, and I have to keep her company. So, I’m missing the chance to go to the opera with you. I truly regret missing your company more than the actual performance. I hope you believe me because I really care for you. Please let Chevalier Danceny know that I haven’t received the collection he mentioned yet, and if he can bring it himself tomorrow, I would appreciate it. If he comes by today, he’ll be told we’re not home, but that’s only because my mom isn’t seeing anyone. I hope she feels better tomorrow.
I have the honour, &c.
I have the honor, etc.
From ——, Aug. 13, 17—.
From ——, Aug. 13, 17—.
LETTER XIII.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to CECILIA VOLANGES.
The Marchioness de Merteuil to Cecilia Volanges.
I am much concerned, my charming girl, to be deprived of the pleasure of seeing you, as well as for the cause; I hope we shall find another opportunity. I performed your commission with the Chevalier Danceny, who will certainly be very sorry to hear of your Mamma’s indisposition; if she’ll admit me to-morrow, I’ll wait on her. She and I will attack the Chevalier de Belleroche at piquet[1]; and in winning his money, we shall have the double pleasure of hearing you sing with your amiable master, to whom I shall propose it. If it be agreeable to your Mamma and you, I will answer for my two Knights and myself. Adieu, my lovely girl! My compliments to Madame de Volanges. I embrace you most affectionately.
I’m really worried, my lovely girl, about missing the chance to see you, and not just because of that; I hope we can find another opportunity. I took care of your request with Chevalier Danceny, who will definitely be upset to hear about your mom’s illness; if she’ll let me visit tomorrow, I’ll go see her. We’ll play piquet against Chevalier de Belleroche, and while winning his money, we’ll get the extra joy of listening to you sing with your delightful teacher, to whom I’ll suggest it. If it works for your mom and you, I’ll vouch for my two Knights and myself. Goodbye, my beautiful girl! Please send my regards to Madame de Volanges. I send you my warmest hugs.
From ——, Aug. 13, 17—.
From ——, Aug. 13, 17—.
LETTER XIV.
CECILIA VOLANGES to SOPHIA CARNAY.
Cecilia Volanges to Sophia Carnay.
I did not write to you yesterday, my dear Sophy; but I assure you it was not pleasure that prevented me. My Mamma was indisposed, and I did not quit her the whole day. At night, when I retired, I had not spirits to do any thing; and I went to bed very early, in order to terminate the day: never did I pass so long a one. It is not but I love Mamma very much; but I don’t know how it was. I was to have gone to the opera with Madame de Merteuil; the Chevalier Danceny was to have been there. You know they are the two I love most. When the hour of the opera arrived, my heart was oppressed in spite of me; every thing displeased me, and I wept involuntarily. Fortunately Mamma was in bed, and could not see me. I am sure Chevalier Danceny must have been chagrined as well as I; but the company and performance must have amused him: I am very differently situated. But Mamma is better to-day, and Madame de Merteuil, Chevalier Danceny, and another gentleman, will be with us. Madame de Merteuil comes late, and it’s very tiresome to be so long alone. It is only eleven, yet I must practise my harpsichord, it is true; and then my toilet will take me up some time, for I will have my head well dressed to-day. I really believe our mother Abbess was right, that one becomes a coquet on entering into life. I never had so strong a desire to be handsome, as for some days past, and I think I am not so handsome as I thought; in women’s company that paint, one looks much worse; for example, all the men think Madame de Merteuil handsomer than me; that does not vex me much, because she loves me: and then she assures me the Chevalier Danceny thinks me handsomer than her. It is very good natured of her to tell me so; she even seemed to be glad of it. Now I don’t conceive how that can be. It is because she loves me so much! And he too! Oh that gives me infinite pleasure! I really think, barely looking at him makes me appear handsome. I would always be looking at him, if I was not afraid of meeting his eyes: for as often as that happens, it disconcerts me, and gives me uneasiness; but that signifies nothing. Adieu, my dear Sophy! I am going to dress.
I didn't write to you yesterday, my dear Sophy; but I promise it wasn't because I was having fun. My mom was unwell, and I stayed by her side all day. At night, when I went to bed, I didn’t have the energy to do anything, and I turned in really early just to end the day; it was the longest day I've ever had. It’s not that I don’t love my mom a lot; I just can’t explain it. I was supposed to go to the opera with Madame de Merteuil, and Chevalier Danceny was supposed to be there. You know they are the two I care about the most. When it was time for the opera, I felt so heavy-hearted despite myself; everything annoyed me, and I ended up crying without wanting to. Luckily, my mom was in bed and couldn’t see me. I'm sure Chevalier Danceny felt let down too, but he probably enjoyed the company and the show: my situation is very different. But my mom is feeling better today, and Madame de Merteuil, Chevalier Danceny, and another gentleman will be with us. Madame de Merteuil is coming late, and it’s really boring being alone for so long. It’s only eleven, but I do need to practice my harpsichord, which will take some time, and then I’ll spend a while getting ready because I want my hair to look nice today. I truly believe our Abbess was right; you start to get a little vain when you enter the world. I’ve never wanted to be pretty as much as I have these past few days, and I think I’m not as pretty as I thought; being around other women makes me feel less attractive; for instance, all the guys think Madame de Merteuil is prettier than me; that doesn’t bother me too much since she loves me. Plus, she tells me Chevalier Danceny thinks I’m prettier than her. It’s really sweet of her to say that; she even seemed happy about it. I just don’t get how that can be. It’s because she loves me so much! And him too! Oh, that makes me so happy! I really think just looking at him makes me look prettier. I’d look at him all the time if I wasn’t afraid of catching his gaze; whenever that happens, it flusters me and makes me uneasy, but that doesn’t really matter. Goodbye, my dear Sophy! I’m going to get dressed.
Paris, Aug. 14, 17—.
Paris, Aug. 14, 1717—.
LETTER XV.
VISCOUNT VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
VISCOUNT VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Indeed you are very kind not to abandon me to my melancholy fate: the life I lead here is really fatiguing, from excess of repose and insipid uniformity. Reading your letter with the particulars of your delightful excursion, I was tempted twenty times to pretend business, fly to your feet, and beg of you to commit, in my favour, an infidelity to your Chevalier, who really does not deserve his bliss. Do you know you have roused my jealousy? Why tell me of an eternal rupture? I recant an oath taken in a fit of frenzy. We should not have been entitled to so solemn a privilege, had we seriously intended to keep it. Ah, may I be one day revenged in your embraces, for the vexation the Chevalier’s happiness gives me! I am all indignation I own, to think that a man who has scarce common sense, without taking the least trouble, and only simply following the instinct of his heart, should find a happiness I can’t attain. Oh, I will disturb him: promise me I shall disturb him! But have you not humiliated yourself? You take the trouble to deceive him, and he is happier than you. You think you have him in your toils, but you are in his. He sleeps quietly, whilst you wake for his pleasures. What could his slaves do more?
You're really kind not to leave me to my sad fate. The life I have here is exhausting, full of too much idleness and boring routine. After reading your letter about your wonderful trip, I was tempted many times to fake having business to attend to, rush to your feet, and beg you to betray your Chevalier for my sake, who truly doesn’t deserve his happiness. Do you realize you've stirred up my jealousy? Why tell me about a permanent split? I take back an oath made in a moment of madness. We wouldn’t have been worthy of such a serious promise if we had really meant to keep it. Oh, I hope to someday get even in your arms for the annoyance the Chevalier’s happiness causes me! I admit I'm all fired up thinking that a man with barely any common sense, who puts in no effort and simply follows his heart, can find a joy I can’t reach. Oh, I will disturb him: promise me I can disturb him! But haven’t you lowered yourself? You put in the effort to fool him, and he is happier than you. You think you’ve got him trapped, but really, you’re the one caught. He sleeps peacefully while you’re awake for his pleasures. What more could his slaves do?
Hark ye, my lovely friend, while you divide yourself among many, I am not in the least jealous; I then look down on your lovers as on Alexander’s successors; incapable of preserving among them that empire where I reigned sole monarch; but that you should give yourself up entirely to one of them, that another should exist as happy as me, I will not suffer; don’t expect I’ll bear it! Either take me again, or take another; and do not, by any exclusive caprice, betray the inviolable friendship we have sworn to each other.
Listen, my dear friend, while you spread yourself thin among many, I’m not jealous at all; I see your lovers like Alexander’s successors, unable to maintain the empire where I was the sole ruler. But for you to fully give yourself to one of them, for another to be as happy as I was, I won’t tolerate it; don’t think I’ll accept that! Either take me back or choose someone else; and do not, by any selfish whim, betray the unbreakable friendship we’ve promised each other.
Is it not curious, that I should have reason to complain of love? You see I give into your ideas, and confess my errors. If not to be able to exist without the possession of what we desire, if to sacrifice time, pleasure, and life for it, then am I really in love; and I have made no progress. I should not even have a word to say to you on the subject, but for an accident that racks my imagination, and leaves me in suspense between hope and fear.
Isn’t it strange that I have a reason to complain about love? You see, I go along with your ideas and admit my mistakes. If not being able to live without what we want, and sacrificing time, pleasure, and life for it, means that I'm truly in love, then I haven’t made any progress. I wouldn’t even have anything to say to you on this topic if it weren't for an event that torments my mind and keeps me hanging between hope and fear.
You know my huntsman; a treasure of intrigue, and a true valet as ever dramatic pen drew. You may conceive he had it in his instructions to be in love with the waiting-maid, and make the servants drunk.
You know my huntsman; a source of mystery, and a true servant like no other imagined by a dramatic writer. You can imagine he was told to be in love with the maid and to get the other servants drunk.
The rascal is happier than his master; he has already succeeded; and has just discovered that Madame de Tourvel has appointed one of her people to observe me, and even to follow me in my morning excursions, as much as possible, without being perceived.
The troublemaker is happier than his master; he’s already succeeded; and he just found out that Madame de Tourvel has assigned one of her people to watch me and even follow me on my morning outings, as much as possible, without being noticed.
What does this woman mean? Thus, then, the most virtuous of them will venture to do things, that one of us would not dare think on! Well, I swear—but before I think of being revenged for this female artifice, I will endeavour to convert it to my advantage. Hitherto those suspected excursions had no view; I must give them one. This deserves my utmost attention, and I quit you to reflect on it. Adieu, my charming friend!
What does this woman mean? So, the most virtuous among them will take risks that none of us would even consider! Well, I swear—but before I think about getting revenge for this feminine trickery, I’ll try to turn it to my advantage. Until now, those suspicious outings had no purpose; I need to give them one. This deserves my full attention, and I’m leaving you to think it over. Goodbye, my lovely friend!
Always from the Castle of ——,
Aug. 15, 17—.
Always from the Castle of ——,
Aug. 15, 17—.
LETTER XVI.
CECILIA VOLANGES to SOPHIA CARNAY.
Cecilia Volanges to Sophia Carnay.
Ah, Sophia, I have a deal of news! But may be I should not tell you: I must tell it, however, to somebody, I can’t keep it. Chevalier Danceny—I’m in such trouble, I can’t write; I don’t know where to begin. Since the agreeable evening that I related to you I spent at Mamma’s[1], with him and Madame de Merteuil, I said no more of him: that was because I resolved not to say any more of him to any one; but I was always thinking of him notwithstanding. Since that, he is become so melancholy, that it makes me uneasy; and when I asked him the reason, he answered me he was not so, but I could plainly see he was. He was yesterday more so than usual; that did not, however, prevent him from singing with his usual complaisance; but every time he looked at me, my heart was ready to break. After we had done singing, he locked up my harpsichord; and bringing me the key, begged I would play again in the evening when I was alone. I had no suspicion of any thing; I even refused him: but he insisted so much, that I promised I would. He had his reasons for it. When I retired to my room, and my maid was gone, I went to my harpsichord. I found hid among the strings an unsealed letter from him. Ah, if you did but know all he writes! Since I read his letter, I am in such raptures I can think of nothing else. I read it over four times running, and then locked it in my desk. I got it by heart; and when I laid down I repeated it so often, I could not think of sleeping; as soon as I shut my eyes, I thought I saw him, telling me every thing I had just read. I did not sleep till very late; and, as soon as I awoke, (though it was very early,) I got up for the letter, to read it at my leisure; I took it into bed, and began to kiss it; as if——but may be I did wrong to kiss a letter thus, but I could not help it.
Ah, Sophia, I have a lot of news! But maybe I shouldn't tell you: I have to share it with someone; I can’t keep it to myself. Chevalier Danceny—I’m in such a mess, I can’t even write; I don’t know where to start. Since that lovely evening I told you about that I spent at Mom's[1], with him and Madame de Merteuil, I haven't mentioned him again: that was because I decided not to talk about him to anyone else; but I couldn't stop thinking about him regardless. Since then, he’s become so down that it worries me; when I asked him why, he told me he wasn’t, but I could clearly see he was. Yesterday he was even more melancholic than usual; still, that didn’t stop him from singing with his usual charm; but every time he looked at me, my heart felt like it was going to break. After we finished singing, he locked up my harpsichord; and when he brought me the key, he begged me to play again in the evening when I was alone. I didn't suspect anything; I even declined, but he insisted so much that I promised I would. He had his reasons for it. When I went back to my room, and my maid had left, I approached my harpsichord. I found a letter from him hidden among the strings, unsealed. Ah, if only you knew everything he wrote! Since I read his letter, I'm so ecstatic that I can’t think of anything else. I read it over four times in a row, and then locked it in my desk. I memorized it; and when I lay down, I repeated it so often that I couldn’t sleep; as soon as I closed my eyes, I thought I saw him, telling me everything I had just read. I didn’t sleep until very late; and as soon as I woke up, (even though it was very early), I got up to read the letter at my leisure; I took it to bed and started kissing it; as if—well, maybe I was wrong to kiss a letter like that, but I couldn’t help it.
Now, my dear friend, if I am very well pleased, I am also very much troubled; for certainly I must not answer it. I know that must not be, and yet he urges it; and if I don’t answer it, I am certain he will be again melancholy. It is a great pity; what would you advise me to? But you know no more than I. I have a great mind to tell Madame de Merteuil, who has a great affection for me. I wish I could console him; but I would not do any thing wrong. We are taught good-nature, and yet we are forbid to follow its dictates, when a man is in question. That I can’t understand. Is not a man our neighbour as well as a woman, and still more so? For have we not a father as well as a mother, a brother as well as a sister, and there is the husband besides? Yet if I was to do any thing that was not right, perhaps Mr. Danceny himself would no longer have a good opinion of me! Oh, then I would rather he should be melancholy! And I shall still be time enough; though he wrote yesterday, I am not obliged to write to-day; and I shall see Madame de Merteuil this evening, and if I can have so much resolution, I will tell her all. Following her advice, I shall have nothing to reproach myself; and may be she may tell me I may give him a few words of answer, that he may not be melancholy. I’m in great uneasiness! Adieu! Be sure tell me what you think I ought to do.
Now, my dear friend, while I’m really happy, I’m also very troubled; because I definitely can't answer him. I know that I shouldn't, and yet he insists on it; and if I don’t respond, I'm sure he will be upset again. It's such a pity; what do you suggest I do? But you probably don’t know any more than I do. I really want to talk to Madame de Merteuil, who cares a lot about me. I wish I could comfort him, but I wouldn’t want to do anything wrong. We’re taught to be kind-hearted, but we’re also told not to follow those feelings when it comes to men. I can't wrap my head around that. Isn’t a man our neighbor just like a woman, or even more so? After all, we have a father as well as a mother, a brother as well as a sister, and there’s the husband too. But if I were to do anything that wasn’t right, Mr. Danceny might lose his good opinion of me! Oh, I’d rather he be sad! And I still have time; even though he wrote yesterday, I’m not required to reply today. I’ll see Madame de Merteuil this evening, and if I can summon the courage, I’ll tell her everything. If I follow her advice, I won’t have anything to feel guilty about, and maybe she’ll suggest I give him a few words so he won’t be upset. I’m really anxious! Goodbye! Please let me know what you think I should do.
Aug. 13, 17—.
Aug. 13, 17—.
[1] The letter that is mentioned here was not found; but there is reason to believe that it is that Madame de Merteuil mentions in her letter which Cecilia Volanges refers to.
[1] The letter mentioned here was not found; however, there is reason to believe that it is the one Madame de Merteuil refers to in her letter that Cecilia Volanges talks about.
LETTER XVII.
The CHEVALIER DANCENY to CECILIA VOLANGES.
The CHEVALIER DANCENY to CECILIA VOLANGES.
Before I give way, Miss, whether shall I call it, to the pleasure or necessity of writing to you, I begin by entreating you to hear me: I am sensible I stand in need of your indulgence, in daring to declare my sentiments for you; if they wanted only vindication, indulgence would be useless. Yet, after all, what am I about to do, but exhibit your own productions? I have nothing to say that my looks, my confusion, my conduct, and even my silence, have not already told you! Why should you be displeased with sentiments to which you have given birth? Proceeding from you, they certainly should be offered you; if they are as inflamed as my heart, they are as chaste as your own. Where is the crime to have discovered how to set a proper value on your charms, your bewitching qualifications, your enchanting graces, and that affecting ingenuousness which so much enhances such valuable accomplishments? No; undoubtedly there is not: but one may be unhappy, without being guilty, which must be my fate, should you refuse to accept a homage, the first my heart ever made. Were it not for you, I should still have been, if not happy, yet undisturbed. I saw you, and tranquillity fled my soul, and left my happiness uncertain!
Before I continue, Miss, whether I should call it the pleasure or necessity of writing to you, I want to ask you to listen to me: I know I need your understanding, as I dare to express my feelings for you; if I only needed validation, your understanding would be pointless. Yet, what am I really doing but showing you your own creations? I have nothing to say that my expressions, my embarrassment, my actions, and even my silence haven’t already communicated to you! Why should you be upset with feelings that you inspired? Coming from you, they should certainly be directed back to you; if they are as passionate as my heart, they are as pure as your own. What’s wrong with recognizing the true value of your charms, your captivating qualities, your enchanting grace, and that heartfelt sincerity that greatly enhances such wonderful traits? No; there is definitely nothing wrong with that: but one can be unhappy without being at fault, which will be my fate if you refuse to accept this admiration, the first my heart has ever offered. If it weren’t for you, I would still be, if not happy, at least untroubled. I saw you, and my peace vanished, leaving my happiness uncertain!
And yet you seem to wonder at my grief, and demand the cause; I have even sometimes thought it gave you uneasiness. Ah, speak but the word, and my felicity will be complete! But before you pronounce it, remember it may also overwhelm me in misery. Be the arbitress of my fate, you can make me happy or miserable for ever; into what dearer hands can I commit such a trust? I shall finish as I began, by imploring your indulgence; I have entreated you to hear me; I shall farther presume to beg an answer. If refused, I shall think you are offended; though my heart is witness, my respect equals my love.
And yet you seem to be curious about my sadness and want to know why; I sometimes think it even makes you uneasy. Oh, just say the word, and I’ll be completely happy! But before you do, remember it could also lead me into deep despair. You hold the power over my fate; you can make me happy or miserable forever. Whom could I trust more than you with something so important? I’ll conclude as I began, by asking for your kindness; I’ve asked you to listen to me, and I will further dare to request an answer. If you refuse, I’ll think you’re upset; even though my heart knows that my respect matches my love.
P. S. If you indulge me with an answer, you can convey it in the same way through which manner you receive this: it is both safe and commodious.
P. S. If you choose to respond, you can do so in the same way you received this: it's both secure and convenient.
Aug. 18, 17—.
Aug. 18, 1717.
LETTER XVIII.
CECILIA VOLANGES to SOPHIA CARNAY.
Cecilia Volanges to Sophia Carnay.
What, my Sophia, you blame beforehand the step I intend to take! I had uneasiness enough already, but you add considerably to it. You say, I certainly ought not to answer his letter; you are quite, at your ease, and can give advice; but you know not how I am circumstanced, and are not able, not being on the spot, to give an opinion. Sure I am, were you so situated, you would act as I do. Certainly, according to etiquette, I should not answer his letter; and by my letter of yesterday, you may perceive my intention was not to reply; but I don’t think any one was ever so circumstanced as I am.
What, my Sophia, you’re criticizing the decision I’m about to make! I already feel anxious enough, but you only make it worse. You say I definitely shouldn’t respond to his letter; it’s easy for you to give advice when you're not in my shoes. You don’t know my situation and can’t really judge because you aren’t here. I’m sure that if you were in my position, you’d do what I’m doing. Sure, by the rules, I shouldn’t respond to his letter; and from my letter yesterday, you can see that I wasn’t planning to reply. But I really doubt anyone has ever been in a situation quite like mine.
And, then, to be left to my own discretion! For Madame de Merteuil, whom I depended on seeing in the evening, did not come. Every thing is against me; she is the cause of my knowing him. In her company, it has almost always been, that I have seen and spoke to him. It is not that I have any ill-will towards her for it—but I’m left to myself when I want her advice most. Well, I’m greatly to be pitied! Only think, yesterday he came as usual. I was so confused I could not look at him; he could not speak to me, for Mamma was with us. I knew he would be vexed when he found I had not wrote to him; I did not know how to appear. He immediately asked me if I had a mind he should bring my harpsichord. My heart beat so I could scarcely say yes. When he returned it was much worse. I just glanced at him. He did not see me, but looked as if he was ill; that made me very unhappy. He tuned my harpsichord, and said, with a sigh, Ah, Miss! He spoke but those two words; and in such a tone as threw me into the greatest confusion. I struck a few chords without knowing what I did: Mamma asked him to sing; he excused himself, saying, he was not well; but I had no excuse, and was forced to sing. I then wished I had no voice; and chose, on purpose, a song that I did not know; for I was certain I could not sing any one, and some notice would have been taken.
And then, to be left to my own devices! Madame de Merteuil, whom I expected to see in the evening, didn’t show up. Everything is against me; she’s the reason I even know him. It's mainly in her company that I’ve seen and talked to him. It’s not that I hold any resentment towards her for that—but I’m alone now when I need her advice the most. Well, I’m definitely to be pitied! Just think, yesterday he came as usual. I was so flustered I couldn’t even look at him; he couldn’t talk to me because Mom was with us. I knew he’d be annoyed when he realized I hadn’t written to him; I didn’t know how to act. He immediately asked me if I wanted him to bring my harpsichord. My heart was racing so much I could hardly say yes. When he came back, it was even worse. I barely glanced at him. He didn’t notice me, but he looked like he was sick; that made me really upset. He tuned my harpsichord and said, with a sigh, “Ah, Miss!” He only spoke those two words, but the tone threw me into total confusion. I struck a few chords without even realizing it: Mom asked him to sing; he declined, saying he wasn’t feeling well; but I had no excuse and had to sing. At that moment, I wished I didn’t have a voice, and I deliberately chose a song I didn’t know because I was sure I couldn’t sing any of them without drawing attention.
Fortunately a visitor came; and as soon as I heard a coach coming, I stopped, and begged he would put up my harpsichord. I was much afraid he would then go away, but he returned. Whilst Mamma and the lady, who came, were chatting together, I wished to look at him for a moment; I met his eyes, and I could not turn mine from him. That instant I saw his tears flow, and he was obliged to turn his head aside to hide them. I found I could not withstand it; and that I was also ready to weep. I retired, and instantly wrote with a pencil on a slip of paper, “I beg you’ll not be so dejected; I promise to answer your letter.”—Surely you can’t say there was any harm in this; I could not help it. I put my note in the strings of my harpsichord, as his was, and returned to the saloon. I found myself much easier, and was impatient until the lady went away. She was on her visits, and soon retired. As soon as she was gone, I said I would again play on my harpsichord, and begged he would bring it. I saw by his looks he suspected nothing; but when he returned, oh, he was so pleased! In laying the instrument before me, he placed himself in such a manner that Mamma could not see, and squeezed my hand—but it was but for a moment: I can’t express the pleasure I received; I drew it away however; so that I have nothing to reproach myself with.
Fortunately, a visitor arrived; and as soon as I heard a coach approaching, I stopped and asked him to put my harpsichord away. I was worried he would then leave, but he stayed. While my mom and the lady who came were chatting, I wanted to look at him for a moment; I met his gaze, and I couldn’t look away. In that moment, I saw tears streaming down his face, and he had to turn his head to hide them. I realized I couldn’t handle it; I was also ready to cry. I stepped away and quickly wrote with a pencil on a piece of paper, “Please don’t be so down; I promise to reply to your letter.” Surely, you can’t say there was anything wrong with this; I couldn’t help myself. I tucked my note into the strings of my harpsichord, just as he had done, and returned to the drawing room. I felt much better and was restless until the lady left. She was visiting and soon took her leave. As soon as she was gone, I said I would play my harpsichord again and asked him to bring it. I could tell by his expression that he suspected nothing; but when he returned, oh, he was so happy! While setting the instrument before me, he positioned himself so that my mom couldn’t see and squeezed my hand—but just for a moment: I can’t describe the joy I felt; I pulled it away though, so I have nothing to regret.
Now, my dear friend, you see I can’t avoid writing to him, since I have promised; and I will not chagrin him any more I am determined; for I suffer more than he does. Certainly, as to any thing bad, I would not be guilty of it, but what harm can there be in writing, when it is to prevent one from being unhappy? What puzzles me is, that I shall not know what to say; but that signifies nothing; and I am certain its coming from me will be quite sufficient.
Now, my dear friend, you see I can’t avoid writing to him since I promised; and I won't upset him anymore, I’m determined; because I suffer more than he does. Of course, I wouldn’t do anything wrong, but what harm can there be in writing if it’s to help prevent someone from being unhappy? What confuses me is that I won’t know what to say; but that doesn’t matter; and I’m sure that it coming from me will be more than enough.
Adieu, my dear friend! If you think me wrong, tell me; but I don’t believe I am. As the time draws near to write to him, my heart beats strangely; however, it must be so, as I have promised it.
Adieu, my dear friend! If you think I'm mistaken, let me know; but I really don't think I am. As the time approaches to write to him, my heart races oddly; still, it has to be done, as I've promised it.
From ——, Aug. 20, 17—.
From ——, Aug. 20, 17—.
LETTER XIX.
CECILIA VOLANGES to CHEVALIER DANCENY.
CECILIA VOLANGES to CHEVALIER DANCENY.
You was so pensive, Sir, yesterday, and it gave me so much uneasiness to see you so, that I could not avoid promising to answer the letter you wrote me. I now think it unbecoming; yet, as I promised, I will not break my word, a proof of the friendship I have for you. Now I have made this acknowledgment, I hope you will never more ask me to write to you again, or ever let any one know I have wrote to you; for I should most certainly be blamed, and it might occasion me a deal of uneasiness. But above all, I hope you will not have a bad opinion of me, which would give me the greatest concern; for I assure you, I could not have been induced to do this by any one else. I wish much you would not be so melancholy as you have been, lately, as it deprives me of all the satisfaction I have in your company. You see, Sir, I speak very sincerely to you. I wish much that our friendship may be lasting; but I beg you’ll write to me no more.
You seemed really deep in thought yesterday, Sir, and it made me so uneasy to see you like that that I couldn’t help but promise to respond to your letter. I now feel it’s inappropriate; still, since I promised, I won’t go back on my word as a sign of our friendship. Having made that acknowledgment, I hope you won’t ask me to write to you again or let anyone know that I’ve written to you, because I would definitely be criticized, and it would cause me a lot of distress. More than anything, I hope you won’t think poorly of me, as that would upset me the most; I assure you I wouldn’t have done this for anyone else. I really wish you wouldn’t be so sad lately, as it takes away all the joy I find in your company. You see, Sir, I’m being completely honest with you. I truly hope our friendship lasts, but please, I ask you not to write to me anymore.
I have the honour to be,
CECILIA VOLANGES.
Aug. 20, 17—.
I’m honored to be,
Cecilia Volanges.
Aug. 20, 1717.
LETTER XX.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to VISCOUNT VALMONT.
The Marchioness de Merteuil to Viscount Valmont.
So, knave, you begin to wheedle, lest I should laugh at you! Well, I forgive you. You say so many ridiculous things, that I must pardon you, the trammels you are kept in by your Presidente; however, my Chevalier would be apt not to be so indulgent, and not to approve the renewal of our contract; neither would he find any thing very entertaining in your foolish whim. I laughed, however, exceedingly at it, and was truly sorry I was obliged to laugh alone. Had you been here, I don’t know how far my good humour might have led me; but reflection came to my aid, and I armed myself with severity. It is not that I have determined to break off for ever; but I am resolved to delay for some time, and I have my reasons. Perhaps some vanity might arise in the case, and that once roused, one does not know whither it may lead. I should be inclined to enslave you again, and oblige you to give up your Presidente; but if a person of my unworthiness should give you a disgust for virtue itself, in a human shape, what a scandal! To avoid this danger, these are my stipulations.
So, fool, you start to butter me up, so I won't laugh at you! Well, I forgive you. You say so many silly things that I have to let it slide, given the constraints your boss puts on you; still, my Knight probably wouldn’t be so forgiving and wouldn’t support renewing our agreement; he wouldn’t find anything amusing about your silly ideas either. I did, however, laugh a lot at it and was really sorry I had to do it alone. If you had been here, I don't know how far my good mood might have taken me; but then I thought things over and decided to be strict. It’s not that I’ve decided to end things forever; I just need to take a break for a while, and I have my reasons. Maybe some pride might come into play, and once that’s stirred up, who knows where it might lead? I might be tempted to control you again and force you to give up your boss; but if someone as unworthy as I am makes you lose faith in virtue itself, in human form, what a shame that would be! To prevent this risk, here are my conditions.
As soon as you have obtain’d your lovely devotee, and that you can produce your proofs, come, I am yours. But I suppose it unnecessary to inform you that, in important matters, none but written proofs are admitted. By this arrangement I shall, on the one hand, become a reward instead of a consolation, and this idea pleases me most: on the other hand, your success will be more brilliant, by becoming in the same moment the cause of an infidelity. Come then, come speedily, and bring the pledge of your triumph; like our valiant knights of old, who deposited, at their ladies’ feet, the trophies of their victories. I am really curious to know what a prude can say after such an adventure; what covering she can give her words after having uncovered her person. You are to judge whether I rate myself too high; but I must assure you beforehand, I will abate nothing. Till then, my dear Viscount, you must not be angry that I should be constant to my Chevalier; and that I should amuse myself in making him happy, although it may give you a little uneasiness.
As soon as you have won over your lovely admirer, and you can provide your evidence, I’m yours. But I think it’s unnecessary to tell you that, in important matters, only written proof is accepted. With this arrangement, I will, on one side, be a reward instead of just a consolation, and I really like this idea: on the other side, your success will shine brighter since it will also be the cause of an affair. So come quickly and bring proof of your victory; just like our brave knights of the past, who brought the trophies of their triumphs to their ladies' feet. I'm really curious to see what a prude will say after such an adventure; what excuse she can make for her words after revealing her body. You’ll have to decide if I’m thinking too highly of myself; but I have to tell you upfront, I won't hold back. Until then, my dear Viscount, you shouldn’t be upset that I remain loyal to my Chevalier, and that I enjoy making him happy, even if it causes you a little discomfort.
If I was not so strict a moralist, I believe at this instant he would have a most dangerous rival in the little Volanges. I am bewitched with this little girl: it is a real passion. I am much mistaken, or she will be one day or other one of our most fashionable women. I can see her little heart expanding; and it is a most ravishing sight!—She already loves her Danceny to distraction, yet knows nothing of it; and he, though deeply smitten, has that youthful timidity, that frightens him from declaring his passion. They are both in a state of mutual adoration before me: the girl has a great mind to disburden her heart, especially for some days past; and I should have done her immense service in assisting her a little; but she is yet a child, and I must not commit myself. Danceny has spoke plainer; but I will have nothing to do with him. As to the girl, I am often tempted to make her my pupil; it is a piece of service I’m inclined to do Gercourt. He gives me time enough, as he must remain in Corsica until October. I have in contemplation to employ that time effectually, and to give him a well trained wife, instead of an innocent convent pensioner. The insolent security of this man is surprising, who dares sleep quietly whilst a woman he has used ill is unrevenged! If the little thing was now here, I do not know what I might say to her.
If I weren’t such a strict moralist, I think right now he would have a serious competitor in little Volanges. I’m completely enchanted by this little girl: it’s a true passion. I could be mistaken, but I believe she will one day become one of our most stylish women. I can see her little heart growing; it’s a truly delightful sight!—She’s already madly in love with Danceny, even though she doesn’t realize it; and he, despite being deeply infatuated, is too shy to confess his feelings. They are both in a state of mutual admiration in front of me: the girl really wants to express her feelings, especially lately; and I could have done her a huge favor by helping her a bit, but she’s still just a child, and I can’t get too involved. Danceny has been more straightforward, but I want nothing to do with him. As for the girl, I’m often tempted to make her my student; it’s a favor I’m considering doing for Gercourt. He has given me plenty of time since he has to stay in Corsica until October. I plan to use that time wisely and prepare him a well-trained wife instead of an innocent convent girl. The audacity of this man is astonishing; he dares to sleep soundly while a woman he has mistreated remains unavenged! If the little one were here right now, I don’t know what I might say to her.
Adieu, Viscount—good night, and good success; but, for God’s sake, dispatch. Remember, if you let this woman slip, the others will blush at having been unconnected with you.
Adieu, Viscount—good night, and good luck; but for heaven's sake, hurry up. Remember, if you let this woman get away, the others will regret not being associated with you.
Aug. 20, 17—.
Aug. 20, 17—.
LETTER XXI.
From VISCOUNT VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
From Viscount Valmont to the Marchioness de Merteuil.
I have at length, my dear friend, made an advance, and one of such importance, that though it has not led to the full completion of my wishes, convinces me I am in the right road, and dispels my dread of having gone astray. I have at last made my declaration of love; and although the most obstinate silence was preserved, I have obtained an answer of the most flattering, unequivocal nature; yet, not to anticipate matters, but to recur to their origin: you may remember a spy was appointed over my proceedings; well, I determined this shameful treatment should be converted into the means of public edification; and I laid my plan thus: I ordered my confident to look out for some distressed person in the neighbourhood, who wanted relief. This you know was not a very difficult discovery. Yesterday evening he informed me that the effects of a whole family were to be seized on as this morning, for payment of taxes. I first took care to be certain that there was neither woman nor girl in the house, whose age or appearance could raise any suspicion of my intended scheme. When I was satisfied of this, I mentioned at supper that I intended going a shooting next day. Here I must do my Presidente justice; she certainly felt some remorse for the orders she had given; and not being able to overcome her curiosity, she determined to oppose my design. It would be exceedingly hot; I should probably injure my health; I should kill nothing, and fatigue myself in vain; and during this conversation, her eyes, which spoke a plainer language than she perhaps intended, told me she wished those simple reasons should pass current. You may guess I did not assent to them, and even was proof against a smart invective upon shooting and sportsmen; I held my ground even against a little cloud of discontent that covered her celestial face during the rest of the evening. I was at one time afraid she had revoked her orders, and that her delicacy would mar all. I did not reflect sufficiently on the strength of woman’s curiosity, and was mistaken; my huntsman cleared up my doubts however that night, and I went to bed quite satisfied.
I have finally, my dear friend, made some progress, and it's significant enough that even though it hasn’t fully fulfilled my hopes, it assures me I’m on the right path and eases my fear of going wrong. I’ve finally declared my love; and although there was complete silence in response, I received an answer that was incredibly flattering and clear. But before I get ahead of myself, let’s go back to the beginning: you may remember there was someone spying on my actions; well, I decided that this disgraceful situation should be turned into something public that could teach a lesson. So, I made my plan: I instructed my confidant to find someone in the neighborhood who was in need. As you know, that wasn’t hard to do. Yesterday evening he let me know that a whole family's belongings were going to be seized the next morning for unpaid taxes. I made sure there was no woman or girl in the house whose age or looks might raise suspicions about my plan. Once I was certain, I mentioned at dinner that I wanted to go shooting the next day. Here I must give my Presidente some credit; she genuinely seemed remorseful about the orders she had given and, unable to suppress her curiosity, decided to oppose my plan. It would be extremely hot; I might hurt my health; I wouldn’t catch anything and would only tire myself out for nothing; and during this discussion, her eyes communicated more than she probably intended, revealing that she hoped I would accept those simple reasons. You can guess I didn’t agree with her, and I even resisted a sharp critique of hunting and sportsmen; I stood my ground despite a slight frown that crossed her beautiful face for the rest of the evening. At one point, I worried that she might revoke her earlier orders, and that her sensitivity would ruin everything. I didn’t fully appreciate the power of a woman’s curiosity, and I was mistaken; however, my huntsman cleared up my concerns that night, and I went to bed quite content.
At daylight I rose, and set out. I was scarcely fifty yards from the castle, when I perceived my spy at my heels. I began to beat about, directing my course across the fields towards the village I had in view; my amusement on the way was making the fellow scamper; who, not daring to quit the high road, was often obliged to run over treble the ground I went. My exertions to give him exercise enough, put me in a violent heat, and I seated myself at the foot of a tree. And would you believe it, he had the insolence to slide behind a thicket not twenty yards from, me, and seat himself also. I once had a great inclination to send him the contents of my piece, which, though only loaded with small shot, would have cured his curiosity; but I recollected he was not only useful, but even necessary to my designs, and that saved him. On my arrival at the village, all was bustle; I went on, and inquired what was the matter, which was immediately related to me. I ordered the collector to be sent for; and, giving way to my generous compassion, I nobly paid down fifty-six livres, for which five poor creatures were going to be reduced to straw and misery. On this trifling act, you can’t conceive the chorus of blessings the bystanders joined in around me—what grateful tears flowed from the venerable father of the family, and embellished this patriarchal figure, which a moment before was hideously disfigured with the wild stamp of despair! While contemplating this scene, a younger man, leading a woman with two children, advancing hastily towards me, said to them, “Let us fall on our knees before this image of God;” and I was instantly surrounded by the whole family prostrate at my feet.
At dawn, I got up and headed out. I was barely fifty yards from the castle when I noticed my spy following me. I started to wander off, making my way across the fields toward the village I had in mind; my amusement along the way was watching him run after me. Not willing to leave the main road, he often had to cover three times the distance I did. My efforts to tire him out made me work up quite a sweat, so I sat down at the base of a tree. And can you believe it? He had the nerve to hide behind a bush not twenty yards away from me and sit down too. I had a strong urge to shoot him, which, although I only had small shot, would have put an end to his snooping; but I remembered he was not only helpful but also essential to my plans, and that saved him. When I reached the village, it was bustling with activity. I asked what was going on, and they quickly filled me in. I ordered the collector to be brought to me, and in a moment of generous compassion, I decided to pay fifty-six livres to save five poor souls from ending up in poverty and misery. You wouldn’t believe the chorus of thanks that erupted around me—what thankful tears streamed down the face of the elderly father of the family, instantly transforming his look from one of despair to one of hope! While I was taking in this moment, a younger man leading a woman and two children hurried toward me and said, “Let’s get down on our knees before this angel!” Suddenly, I was surrounded by the entire family praying at my feet.
I must acknowledge my weakness; my eyes were full, and I felt within me an involuntary but exquisite emotion. I was amazed at the pleasure that is felt in doing a benevolent act; and I’m inclined to think, those we call virtuous people, have not so much merit as is ascribed to them. Be that as it may, I thought it fit to pay those poor people for the heart-felt satisfaction I had received. I had ten louis-d’ors in my purse, which I gave them; here acknowledgments were repeated, but not equally pathetic: the relief of want had produced the grand, the true effect; the rest was the mere consequence of gratitude and surprise for a superfluous gift.
I have to admit my weakness; my eyes were full, and I felt a strong, involuntary but beautiful emotion within me. I was surprised by the joy that comes from doing something kind. I’m starting to think that the people we call virtuous might not deserve as much credit as we give them. Still, I thought it was right to compensate those poor people for the genuine satisfaction I had experienced. I had ten louis-d’ors in my wallet, which I gave to them; they expressed their thanks, but it wasn't as emotional: the relief from their suffering created the real, profound impact; the rest was simply a reaction of gratitude and surprise for a generous gift.
In the midst of the unmerited benedictions of this family, I had some resemblance to the hero of a drama in the denouement of a play. Remark that the faithful spy was observable in the crowd. My end was answered: I disengaged myself from them, and returned to the castle.
In the middle of the undeserved blessings from this family, I felt a bit like the hero in the final act of a play. Notice that the loyal spy was visible in the crowd. My goal was achieved: I separated myself from them and went back to the castle.
Every thing considered, I applaud myself for my invention. This woman is well worth all my solicitude; and it will one day or other prove to be my title to her: having, as I may say, thus paid for her beforehand, I shall have a right to dispose of her at my will, without having any thing to reproach myself with.
Every thing considered, I congratulate myself on my invention. This woman is truly deserving of all my attention; and one day it will prove to be my claim to her: having, so to speak, paid for her in advance, I will have the right to decide her fate according to my wishes, without having anything to regret.
I had almost forgot to tell you, that, to make the most of every thing, I begged the good people to pray for the success of my undertakings. You shall now see whether their prayers have not already been in some measure efficacious. But I’m called to supper, and I should be too late for the post, if I did not now conclude. I am sorry for it, as the sequel is the best. Adieu, my lovely friend! You rob me a moment of the pleasure of seeing her.
I almost forgot to tell you that, to make the most of everything, I asked the kind people to pray for the success of my efforts. You’ll soon see whether their prayers have had any impact. But I’m being called to dinner, and I’d miss the post if I don’t wrap this up now. I’m disappointed because the next part is the best. Goodbye, my lovely friend! You’re taking away a moment of the joy of seeing her.
Aug. 20, 17—.
Aug. 20, 17—.
LETTER XXII.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE VOLANGES.
The President DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE VOLANGES.
You will, I doubt not, Madam, be desirous to be informed of an incident in the life of Mr. de Valmont, which seems to me to form a striking contrast to all those that have been related to you. Nothing can be more painful than to think disadvantageously of any one, or so grievous as to find those who have every qualification to inspire the love of virtue, replete with vice; besides, you are so inclined to the exercise of the virtue of indulgence, that I think I can’t please you more, than in furnishing you motives for reconsidering any judgment you may have formed, that may be justly accused of rigour. Mr. Valmont now seems entitled to this favour, I may almost say to this act of justice, for the following reason:
I have no doubt, Madam, that you will want to hear about an incident in Mr. de Valmont's life, which I believe stands in stark contrast to everything you've been told before. Nothing is more upsetting than thinking poorly of someone, or more disheartening than discovering that those who should embody virtue are actually filled with vice. Furthermore, you are so inclined to practice the virtue of understanding that I think I can’t do anything better than give you reasons to rethink any harsh judgments you might have made. Mr. Valmont now seems deserving of this favor, or I might even say this act of justice, for the following reason:
This morning he went on one of those excursions, which might have given room to imagine a scheme in the neighbourhood; a supposition which, I must own, I too hastily adopted.
This morning he went on one of those trips that could have led to the idea of a plan in the area; a thought that, I must admit, I too quickly accepted.
Happily for him, and still more happily for us, since it preserves us from an act of injustice, one of my people had occasion to go the same way;[1] and thus my fortunate, but censurable curiosity was satisfied. He acquainted us that Mr. de Valmont, having found at the village of ——, an unhappy family whose effects were on the point of being sold for payment of taxes, not only discharged the debt for the poor people, but even gave them a pretty considerable sum besides. My servant was witness to this virtuous act; and informs me that the country people, in conversation, told him, that a servant, whom they described, and who mine believes to belong to Mr. de Valmont, had been yesterday at the village to make inquiry after objects of charity. This was not a transitory fit of compassion; it must have proceeded from determined benevolence, the noblest virtue of the noblest minds; but be it chance or design, you must allow, it is a worthy and laudable act; the bare recital of it melted me to tears! I will add also still farther, to do him justice, that when I mentioned this transaction, of which he had not given the least hint, he begin by denying it to be founded; and even when he acquiesced, seemed to lay so little stress on it, that his modesty redoubled its merit. Now tell me, most venerable friend, if M. de Valmont is an irretrievable debauchee? If he is so, and behaves thus, where are we to look for men of principle? Is it possible that the wicked should participate with the good the extatic pleasures of benevolence? Would the Almighty permit that a virtuous poor family should receive aid from the hand of an abandoned wretch, and return thanks for it to his Divine Providence? And is it possible to imagine the Creator would think himself honoured in hearing pure hearts pouring blessings on a reprobate? No; I am rather inclined to think that errors, although they may have been of some duration, are not eternal; and I cannot bring myself to think, that the man who acts well, is an enemy to virtue. Mr. de Valmont is only, perhaps, another example of the dangerous effects of connections. I embrace this idea, and it gratifies me. If, on the one hand, it clears up his character in your mind, it will, on the other, enhance the value of the tender friendship that unites me to you for life.
Fortunately for him, and even more so for us, since it saves us from an injustice, one of my people happened to be going the same way;[1] and thus my fortunate but questionable curiosity was satisfied. He informed us that Mr. de Valmont, having found an unfortunate family in the village of —— whose belongings were about to be sold for unpaid taxes, not only paid off their debts but also gave them a significant amount of money. My servant witnessed this noble act and told me that the local people mentioned a servant, who they described and my servant believes belongs to Mr. de Valmont, had been at the village yesterday looking for ways to help those in need. This wasn’t just a fleeting moment of compassion; it clearly came from a genuine desire to help, the highest virtue of the best individuals. Whether it was by chance or intention, you have to admit it’s a commendable act; just hearing about it brought me to tears! I should also add, to be fair to him, when I brought this up—something he hadn’t mentioned at all—he started by denying it. Even when he eventually accepted it, he seemed to downplay it so much that his modesty only added to its merit. Now tell me, my esteemed friend, is M. de Valmont really a hopeless libertine? If he is, and he acts this way, where can we find men of principle? Is it possible that the wicked can share in the delightful joys of kindness? Would the Almighty allow a virtuous poor family to receive help from a corrupt person while giving thanks for it to His Divine Providence? Can we believe that the Creator would feel honored hearing pure-hearted souls bless a reprobate? No; I’m more inclined to think that mistakes, even if they’ve lasted a while, aren’t forever. I can’t accept that a man who does good is an enemy to virtue. Mr. de Valmont might just be another example of the perilous effects of certain relationships. I embrace this idea, and it comforts me. On one hand, it clarifies his character in your eyes, and on the other, it enhances the value of the deep friendship that binds me to you for life.
I am, &c.
I am, etc.
P. S. Madame de Rosemonde and I are just going to see the poor honest family, and add our assistance to Mr. de Valmont’s. We take him with us, and shall give those good people the pleasure of again seeing their benefactor; which, I fancy, is all he has left us to do.
P. S. Madame de Rosemonde and I are about to visit the kindhearted family and lend our support to Mr. de Valmont. We’re bringing him along, and we’ll give those lovely people the joy of seeing their benefactor again; I believe that’s all he has left for us to do.
Aug. 20, 17—.
Aug. 20, 1717—.
LETTER XXIII.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
The Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
I broke off at our return to the castle. Now to my narrative: I had scarce time to dress and return to the saloon, where my charmer was making tapestry, whilst the curate read the gazette to my old aunt. I placed myself near the frame. Softer looks than usual, almost bordering on fondness, soon informed me the spy had made a report of his business; and, in fact, the lovely woman could no longer keep the secret; being under no apprehension of interrupting the good pastor, whose utterance was perfectly in the pulpit style. I have also some news to tell, said she, and immediately related my adventure with an exactitude that did honour to her historian’s accuracy. You may guess how my modesty displayed itself; but who can stop a woman’s tongue, who unconsciously praises the man she loves? I determined to let her go on. One would have imagined she was preaching the panegyric of some saint, whilst I, not without a degree of hope, attentively observed every circumstance that bore an appearance propitious to love: her animated look, free action, and above all, the tone of her voice, which, by a sensible alteration, betrayed the emotion of her soul. She had scarcely finished, when Madame de Rosemonde said, “Come, my dear nephew, let me embrace you.” I soon concluded the lovely panegyrist could not offer an objection to my saluting her in turn. She attempted to fly; but I soon seized her in my arms; and far from being able to resist, she had scarce power to support herself. The more I contemplate this woman, the more amiable she is. She hastened back to her frame, with every appearance of resuming her work, but in such confusion, that her hand shook, and at length obliged her to throw it aside.
I paused when we returned to the castle. Now, back to my story: I hardly had time to get ready and go back to the living room, where my beautiful companion was working on a tapestry while the curate read the newspaper to my old aunt. I sat down near the frame. Softer looks than usual, almost bordering on affection, quickly told me that the spy had shared his findings; and, in fact, the lovely woman could no longer keep the secret, unconcerned about interrupting the good pastor, whose speech was very much in the style of a sermon. "I have some news to share too," she said, and immediately recounted my adventure with impressive accuracy that honored her historian's skills. You can imagine how my modesty showed itself, but who can silence a woman's tongue when she’s unknowingly praising the man she loves? I decided to let her continue. One would have thought she was delivering a tribute to some saint, while I, not without a glimmer of hope, carefully noted every detail that seemed favorable to love: her animated expression, her confident movements, and especially the tone of her voice, which had changed noticeably, revealing the emotion within her soul. She had barely finished when Madame de Rosemonde said, “Come, my dear nephew, let me hug you.” I quickly gathered that the beautiful speaker couldn’t object to me greeting her in return. She tried to escape, but I quickly caught her in my arms, and rather than resisting, she could barely hold herself up. The more I looked at this woman, the more charming she became. She hurried back to her frame, appearing ready to continue her work, but in such a fluster that her hand trembled and ultimately forced her to set it aside.
After dinner, the ladies would visit the objects of my unaffected charity; I accompanied them; but I shall spare you the unentertaining narrative of this second scene of gratitude. My anxious heart, panting with the delightful remembrance of what had passed, made me hasten our return to the Castle. On the road, my lovely Presidente, more pensive than usual, spoke not a word; and I, entirely absorbed in the means of employing the events of the day to advantage, was also silent. Madame de Rosemonde alone spoke, and could receive but few and short answers. We must have tired her out, which was my design, and it succeeded to my wish. When we alighted she retired to her apartment, and left my fair one and me tête-à-tête in a saloon, poorly lighted: gentle darkness, thou encourager of timid love!
After dinner, the ladies would visit those I kindly helped; I went along with them, but I won't bore you with the uninteresting details of this second act of gratitude. My anxious heart, filled with the joyful memory of what had happened, made me hurry our return to the Castle. On the way, my beautiful Presidente, more thoughtful than usual, said nothing; and I, completely absorbed in figuring out how to make the most of the day’s events, was also quiet. Only Madame de Rosemonde spoke, but we could only offer her a few brief responses. We must have worn her out, which was my intention, and it worked perfectly. When we got down, she went to her room, leaving my lovely companion and me alone in a dimly lit salon: gentle darkness, you fosterer of shy love!
I had not much trouble to direct our conversation to my object. The fervour of my lovely preacher was more useful than my own skill. “When the heart is so inclined to good,” said she, glancing a most enchanting look, “how is it possible it should at the same time be prone to vice?” “I don’t deserve,” replied I, “either this praise or censure; and I can’t conceive how, with so much good sense as you possess, you have not yet discovered my character. Were my candour even to hurt me in your opinion, you are still too deserving to with-hold my confidence from you. You’ll find all my errors proceed from an unfortunate easiness of disposition. Surrounded by profligates, I contracted their vices; I have, perhaps, even had a vanity in excelling them. Here too the sport of example, impelled by the model of your virtues, and without hope of ever attaining them, I have however endeavoured to follow you: and, perhaps, the act you value so highly to-day would lose its merit, if you knew the motive!” (You see, my charming friend, how nearly I approached to the truth.) “It is not to me those unfortunate people are obliged, for the relief they have experienced. Where you imagined you saw a laudable act, I only sought the means to please. I was only, if I must so say, the feeble agent of the divinity I adore!” (Here she would have interrupted me, but I did not give her time.) “Even at this instant,” added I, “it is weakness alone extracts this secret from me. I had resolved not to acquaint you of it; I had placed my happiness in paying to your virtues, as well as your charms, a pure and undiscoverable homage. But, incapable of deceit, with such an example of candour before me, I will not have to reproach myself with any vile dissimulation. Imagine not that I dare offend you by a criminal presumption. I know I shall be miserable; but I shall cherish my sufferings: they are the proofs of the ardour of my love:—at your feet, in your bosom, I will deposit my grievances; there will I gather strength to bear up against new sufferings; there I shall meet compassion, mixed with goodness and consolation; for I know you’ll pity me. O thou whom I adore! hear me, pity me, help me.” All this time was I on my knees, squeezing her hands in mine; but she, disengaging them suddenly, and covering her eyes with them, exclaimed, “What a miserable wretch am I!” and burst into tears. Luckily I had worked myself up to such a degree that I wept also; and taking her hands again, I bathed them with my tears. This precaution was very necessary; for she was so much engaged with her own anguish, that she would not have taken notice of mine, if I had not discovered this expedient to impress her with it. This also gave me leisure to contemplate her charming form—her attractions received additional embellishment from her tears. My imagination began to be fired, and I was so overpowered, that I was tempted to seize the opportunity!
I had no trouble steering our conversation where I wanted it to go. The passion of my beautiful preacher was more helpful than my own skills. “When the heart is so inclined to good,” she said, casting an enchanting look, “how can it also be drawn to bad?” “I don’t deserve,” I replied, “either this praise or blame; and I can’t understand how, with all the common sense you have, you haven’t figured out my true character. Even if my honesty were to hurt your opinion of me, you’re too good a person to withhold your trust. You’ll see that all my faults come from an unfortunate tendency to be too easygoing. Surrounded by the corrupt, I picked up their vices; perhaps I was even vain about surpassing them. Here too, influenced by your example, I’ve tried to follow your virtues, even knowing I could never reach them: and maybe the act you think so admirable today would lose its value if you knew the reason behind it!” (You can see, my charming friend, how close I came to the truth.) “Those unfortunate people don’t owe their relief to me. Where you thought you saw a noble act, I was just trying to please. I was merely, if I can say it this way, a weak instrument of the divinity I worship!” (She would have interrupted me here, but I didn’t give her the chance.) “Even now,” I added, “it’s only weakness that brings this secret out of me. I had intended not to tell you; I wanted my happiness to come from giving you, as well as your virtues, pure and unnoticeable admiration. But, unable to deceive you, with such an example of honesty in front of me, I won’t let myself feel guilty for any base dissimulation. Don’t think I would dare offend you with criminal arrogance. I know I’ll be miserable; but I’ll cherish my sufferings: they are the proof of my deep love:—at your feet, in your embrace, I will lay down my grievances; there I will gather strength to endure new pains; there I will find compassion, mixed with kindness and comfort; for I know you’ll feel sorry for me. O you whom I adore! hear me, pity me, help me.” All this time I was on my knees, holding her hands, but she suddenly pulled them away and covered her eyes with them, exclaiming, “What a miserable wretch I am!” before bursting into tears. Luckily, I had worked myself up enough that I started crying too, and taking her hands again, I soaked them with my tears. This was very necessary, because she was so caught up in her own pain that she wouldn’t have noticed mine if I hadn’t thought of this way to show her. This also gave me a moment to admire her charming form—her beauty was further enhanced by her tears. My imagination began to ignite, and I was so overwhelmed that I was tempted to seize the moment!
How weak we are, how much governed by circumstances! since I myself, forgetful of my ultimate design, risked losing, by an untimely triumph, the charms of a long conflict, and the pleasing struggles that precede a difficult defeat; and hurried away by an impetuosity excusable only in a raw youth, was near reducing Madame de Tourvel’s conqueror to the paltry triumph of one woman more on his list. My purpose is, that she should yield, yet combat; that without having sufficient force to conquer, she should have enough to make a resistance; let her feel her weakness, and be compelled to own her defeat. The sorry poacher takes aim at the game he has surprised—the true huntsman runs it fairly down. Is not this an exalted idea? But perhaps by this time I should have only had the regret of not having followed it, if chance had not seconded my prudence.
How weak we are, how much we’re controlled by circumstances! I, myself, forgetting my ultimate goal, nearly lost, due to an untimely victory, the allure of a long struggle and the satisfying battles that come before a tough defeat. Driven by an impulsiveness that’s only excusable in a naïve youth, I almost turned Madame de Tourvel’s conqueror into just another simple victory on his list. My aim is for her to submit, yet still fight; that even without enough strength to win, she should have enough to resist. I want her to feel her weakness and be forced to acknowledge her defeat. The pathetic poacher takes a shot at the prey he has caught—the true hunter chases it down fairly. Isn’t this a noble idea? But perhaps by now I would only regret not having pursued it, if chance hadn’t supported my caution.
A noise of some one coming towards the saloon struck us. Madame de Tourvel started in a fright, took a candle, and went out. There was no opposing her. It was only a servant. When I was certain who it was, I followed her. I had gone but a few steps, when, whether her fears or her discovering me made her quicken her pace, she flung herself into, rather than entered, her apartment, and immediately locked the door. Seeing the key inside, I did not think proper to knock; that would have been giving her an opportunity of too easy resistance. The happy simple thought of looking through the key-hole struck me, and I beheld this adorable woman bathed in tears, on her knees, praying most fervently. What deity dared she invoke? Is there one so powerful as the god of love? In vain does she now seek for foreign aid; I am henceforward the arbiter of her fate.
A noise of someone coming toward the saloon caught our attention. Madame de Tourvel jumped in fright, grabbed a candle, and went out. I couldn’t stop her. It turned out to be just a servant. Once I realized who it was, I followed her. I had only taken a few steps when, whether out of fear or the realization that I was there, she rushed into her room more than she entered it and quickly locked the door. Seeing the key in the lock, I didn’t think it was right to knock; that would have given her an easy way to resist. A clever idea struck me to look through the keyhole, and I saw this beautiful woman on her knees, crying and praying earnestly. Which deity was she calling upon? Is there one more powerful than the god of love? It’s pointless for her to seek help elsewhere; from now on, I am in control of her fate.
Thinking I had done enough for one day, I retired to my apartment, and sat down to write to you. I had hopes of seeing her again at supper; but she sent word she was gone to bed indisposed. Madame de Rosemonde proposed to go to see her in her room; but the arch invalid pretended a head-ach, that prevented her from seeing any one. You may guess I did not sit up long after supper, and had my head-ach also. After I withdrew, I wrote her a long letter, complaining of her rigour, and went to bed, resolved to deliver it this morning. I slept badly, as you perceive by the date of this letter. I rose and read my epistle over again, which does not please me: it expresses more ardour than love, and more chagrin than grief. It must be altered when I return to a sufficient degree of composure.
Thinking I had done enough for the day, I headed back to my apartment and sat down to write to you. I was hopeful about seeing her again at dinner, but she sent word that she had gone to bed feeling unwell. Madame de Rosemonde suggested going to see her in her room, but the ailing lady claimed to have a headache that kept her from seeing anyone. You can imagine I didn't stay up long after dinner, and I had a headache too. After I left, I wrote her a long letter, complaining about her harshness, and planned to deliver it this morning. I slept poorly, as you can tell by the date on this letter. I got up and read my letter again, which I’m not happy with: it shows more passion than love, and more frustration than sadness. It needs to be revised when I regain some composure.
It is now dawn of day, and I hope the freshness of the morning will bring on a little sleep. I return to bed; and whatever ascendant this woman may have over me, I promise you never to be so much taken up with her, as not to dedicate much of my thoughts to you. Adieu, my lovely friend.
It’s now dawn, and I hope the morning freshness brings me some sleep. I’m getting back into bed, and no matter how much this woman influences me, I promise to always dedicate a lot of my thoughts to you. Goodbye, my beautiful friend.
Aug. 21, 17—, four o’clock in the morning.
Aug. 21, 17—, 4:00 AM.
LETTER XXIV.
VISCOUNT VALMONT to the Presidente TOURVEL.
VISCOUNT VALMONT to the President TOURVEL.
From mere compassion, Madam, vouchsafe to calm my perturbed soul; deign to inform me what I have to hope or fear. When placed between the extremes of happiness and misery, suspense is a most insupportable torment. Alas! why did I ever speak to you? Why did I not endeavour to resist the dominion of your charms that have taken possession of my imagination? Had I been content with silently adoring you, I should at least have the pleasure that ever attends even secretly harbouring that passion; and this pure sentiment, which was then untroubled by the poignant reflections that have arisen from my knowledge of your sorrow, was enough for my felicity: but the source of my happiness is become that of my despair, since I saw those precious tears; since I heard that cruel exclamation, Ah! miserable wretch that I am. Those words, Madam, will for a long time wring my heart. By what fatality happens it, that the softest passion produces only horror to you! Whence proceed these fears? Ah! they do not arise from an inclination of sharing in the passion. Your heart I have much mistaken; it is not made for love: mine, which you incessantly slander, is yet the only one of sensibility; yours is even divested of pity—were it not, you could have afforded a wretched being, who only related his sufferings, one word of consolation; you would not have deprived him of your presence, when his sole delight is in seeing you; you would not have made a cruel mockery of his disquietude, by acquainting him you were indisposed, without giving him liberty to make any inquiries on the state of your health; you would have known, that a night that brought you twelve hours rest, was to him an age of torment.
From simple compassion, madam, please calm my troubled soul; be kind enough to tell me what I have to hope for or fear. When caught between the extremes of happiness and misery, uncertainty is a truly unbearable torment. Alas! Why did I ever speak to you? Why didn’t I try to resist the power of your charm that has taken over my imagination? If I had been content to silently adore you, at least I would have had the pleasure that comes with secretly holding that feeling; and this pure emotion, which was then untouched by the painful thoughts that have come from knowing your sorrow, was enough for my happiness. But now, the source of my joy has become the source of my despair, ever since I saw those precious tears; ever since I heard that heartbreaking exclamation, Ah! miserable wretch that I am. Those words, madam, will haunt my heart for a long time. By what misfortune is it that the gentlest passion brings you only horror? Where do these fears come from? Ah! They don’t come from wanting to share the feeling. I’ve misunderstood your heart; it’s not made for love: mine, which you constantly criticize, is truly the only one capable of feeling; yours seems devoid of pity—if it weren’t, you could have given a miserable person, who only shared his suffering, one word of comfort; you wouldn’t have deprived him of your presence when his only joy is in seeing you; you wouldn’t have cruelly mocked his distress by letting him know you were unwell, without allowing him to ask about how you were; you would have understood that a night in which you found twelve hours of rest was to him an age of torment.
Tell me, how have I deserved this afflicting rigour? I am not afraid even to appeal to yourself: what have I done, but yielded to an involuntary sensation, inspired by beauty, and justified by virtue, always kept within due limits by respect, the innocent avowal of which proceeded from hopeless confidence? and will you betray that confidence that you seemed to countenance, and to which I unreservedly gave way? No, I will not believe it; that would be supposing you capable of an injustice, and I never can entertain, even for a moment, such an idea: I recant my reproaches; I may have been led to write them, but never seriously believed them. Ah, let me believe you all perfection; it is the only satisfaction now left me! Convince me you are so, by extending your generous care to me; of the many you have relieved, is there a wretch wants it so much as I do? Do not abandon me to the distraction you have plunged me into: assist me with your reason, since you have deprived me of mine; and as you have reformed me, complete your work by enlightening me.
Tell me, how have I deserved this harsh treatment? I'm not even afraid to ask you directly: what have I done, but given in to an involuntary feeling, inspired by beauty and justified by virtue, always kept in check by respect, the innocent admission of which came from hopeless trust? Will you really betray that trust that you seemed to support, and to which I wholeheartedly surrendered? No, I won't believe it; that would mean thinking you are capable of unfairness, and I can never entertain such a thought, not even for a moment. I take back my complaints; I might have been driven to express them, but I never truly believed them. Ah, let me believe you are flawless; it's the only comfort left for me! Prove to me that you are by showing your kindness towards me; of all the people you've helped, is there anyone in more need than I am? Please don't leave me in the turmoil you've caused; help me with your wisdom since you've taken away my clarity; and as you've transformed me, finish the job by guiding me.
I will not deceive you; it will be impossible for you to conquer my love, but you may teach me how to regulate it: by guiding my steps, by prescribing to me my conversation, you will, at least, preserve me from the most dreadful of all misfortunes, that of incurring your displeasure. Dispel, at least, my desponding fears; tell me you pity and forgive me; promise me your indulgence; you never will afford me that extent of it I wish; but I call for so much of it as is absolutely necessary to me: will you refuse it?
I won't lie to you; it will be impossible for you to win my love, but you can help me manage it: by guiding my actions, by directing my conversations, you will, at the very least, save me from the worst misfortune of all, which is earning your disapproval. Please, ease my anxious fears; tell me you feel sorry for me and forgive me; promise me your understanding; you may never give me as much as I hope for, but I’m asking for just enough to get by: will you deny me that?
Adieu, Madam! Accept, graciously, the homage of my feelings, to which my respect is inseparably united.
Goodbye, Madam! Please accept, graciously, the tribute of my feelings, which are inextricably linked to my respect.
Aug. 20, 17—.
Aug. 20, 1717—.
LETTER XXV.
VISCOUNT VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
VISCOUNT VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
I now transmit to you the proceedings of yesterday: at eleven I went to Madame de Rosemonde’s, and under her auspices, was introduced to the fair pretended invalid, who was still in bed. Her eyes seemed very heavy; I hope she slept as badly as I did. I seized an opportunity, whilst Madame de Rosemonde was at a distance, to present my letter; it was refused, but I left it on the bed, and very politely approached my old aunt’s easy chair, who would be near her dear child, to whom it now became necessary to put up the letter to avoid scandal. She indiscreetly said, she believed she had a little fever. Madame de Rosemonde desired I would feel her pulse, praising, at the same time, my skill in physic: thus my enchantress experienced a double mortification, to be obliged to give me her arm, and to find her little artifice would be detected. I took her by the hand, which I squeezed in one of mine, whilst, with the other, I ran over her smooth delicate arm; the sly being would not answer a single one of my inquiries, which made me say, as I retired, “I could not feel even the slightest emotion.” I suspected her looks would be rather severe; in order to disappoint her, I did not look at her: a little after she said she was desirous to rise, and we left her alone. She appeared at dinner, which was rather gloomy, and informed us she would not go out to walk, which was telling me I should not have an opportunity of speaking to her. It then became necessary, and I felt this to be the fit place, to fetch a sigh and assume a melancholy look; she undoubtedly expected it, for it was the first time, that day, our eyes met. With all her discretion, she has her little artifices as well as others. I found an opportunity to ask her if she had decided my fate? I was not a little astonished to hear her reply, Yes, Sir, I have wrote to you. I was very anxious to see this letter; but whether it was design, awkwardness, or timidity, she did not deliver it until night, when she retired to her apartment. I send it you, as also the rough copy of mine; read and give your opinion; observe with what egregious falsity she protests she is not in love, when I am certain of the contrary; and she’ll complain, if I deceive her afterwards, and yet is not afraid to deceive me beforehand!—My lovely friend, the most artful man is barely on a level with the most inexperienced woman. I must, however, give in to all this nonsense, and fatigue myself to death with despair, because Madam is pleased to play a severe character.—How is it possible not to resolve to avenge such indignities,—but patience! Adieu, I have still a great deal to write.
I’m sending you the details from yesterday: at eleven, I went to Madame de Rosemonde’s, and with her help, I was introduced to the beautiful pretended invalid, who was still in bed. Her eyes looked very heavy; I hope she had as restless a night as I did. While Madame de Rosemonde was distracted, I took the chance to present my letter; it was refused, but I left it on the bed and politely moved closer to my old aunt's easy chair, who was near her dear child, to whom I now had to hand over the letter to avoid any gossip. She indiscreetly mentioned that she thought she had a slight fever. Madame de Rosemonde asked me to check her pulse, while praising my medical skills: so my enchantress faced a double embarrassment, having to give me her arm and realizing her little trick would be uncovered. I held her hand, squeezing it with one of mine while with the other, I brushed over her smooth, delicate arm; the sly one wouldn’t answer any of my questions, which made me say as I left, “I couldn't feel even the slightest emotion.” I suspected her expression would be somewhat stern; to disappoint her, I didn’t look at her. Shortly after, she said she wanted to get up, and we left her alone. She appeared at dinner, which was pretty gloomy, and told us she wouldn’t go out for a walk, which was her way of saying I wouldn’t have a chance to talk to her. It then became necessary—I felt it was the right moment—to let out a sigh and assume a melancholy look; she surely expected it, as it was the first time that day our eyes met. Despite all her discretion, she has her little tricks just like everyone else. I found a moment to ask her if she had decided my fate? I was quite surprised to hear her reply, Yes, Sir, I have written to you. I was eager to see this letter; but whether it was on purpose, out of awkwardness, or shyness, she didn’t give it to me until nighttime when she retired to her room. I’m sending it to you, along with my rough draft; read them and tell me what you think; notice how she falsely claims she’s not in love when I know the opposite is true; and she’ll complain if I deceive her later, yet she isn’t afraid to deceive me first!—My beautiful friend, even the craftiest man is just about equal to the most naive woman. I must, however, endure all this nonsense and exhaust myself to death with despair, because she enjoys playing the stern role.—How is it possible not to want to take revenge for such disrespect—but patience! Goodbye, I still have a lot to write.
Now I think on’t, send me back the inhuman woman’s letter; it is possible that hereafter she may expect to find a great value set upon such wretched stuff, and one must be regular.
Now that I think about it, send me back the letter from that cruel woman; it’s possible that later on she might expect to see a lot of worth placed on such terrible things, and we need to be consistent.
I say nothing of little Volanges, she shall be our subject the first opportunity.
I won't say anything about little Volanges right now; we'll make her our topic at the first chance we get.
Aug. 22, 17—.
Aug. 22, '17—.
LETTER XXVI.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to VISCOUNT VALMONT.
The President DE TOURVEL to Viscount VALMONT.
You certainly, Sir, would not receive a letter from me, if my foolish conduct, last night, did not put me under the necessity of coming to an explanation. I wept I own; and the words you cite may have escaped me; tears, words, and every thing you have carefully noted; it is then necessary to explain all:
You certainly wouldn’t be getting a letter from me if my foolish behavior last night hadn’t made it necessary for me to explain myself. I cried, I admit it; and the things you mentioned might have slipped out. Tears, words, and everything you’ve carefully noted—so I need to explain everything:
Being accustomed to inspire only becoming sentiments, and habituated only to conversations that I might attend to without a blush, and consequently to possess a degree of confidence, which, I flatter myself, I have a right to, I am a stranger to dissimulation, and know not how to suppress the sensations which I experience. The astonishment and confusion your behaviour threw me into, an unaccountable dread, from a situation not at all suited to me, and perhaps the shocking thought of seeing myself confounded with the women you despise, and treated with the same levity; all these reasons united, provoked my tears, and may have made me, and I think with reason, say, I was miserable.
I'm used to inspiring only positive feelings and having conversations I can engage in without feeling embarrassed, which gives me a certain level of confidence that I believe I deserve. I'm not good at pretending, and I can't hide the feelings I have. The shock and confusion your actions caused me, along with an irrational fear from a situation that feels completely wrong for me, and maybe the distressing idea of being associated with women you look down on and treated just as carelessly; all these feelings combined made me cry, and I believe it's reasonable for me to say that I felt miserable.
This expression, which you think so pointed, would be still certainly too weak, if my tears and words had another motive; if instead of disapproving sentiments that ought to offend me, I had the slightest apprehension of participating them.
This expression, which you find so sharp, would definitely be too weak if my tears and words came from a different place; if instead of disapproving feelings that should upset me, I had even the slightest fear of sharing them.
No, Sir, I have no such apprehensions; if I had, I should fly a hundred leagues from you; I would fly to some desert, there to bewail the misfortune of having known you. Notwithstanding my certainty of not having, or ever having, an affection for you, perhaps I should have acted more properly, in following the advice of my friends, in never permitting you to approach me.
No, Sir, I have no such fears; if I did, I would run a hundred miles away from you; I would escape to some remote place to lament the misfortune of having met you. Even though I know I don't, and never have had, any feelings for you, maybe I should have acted more wisely by listening to my friends and never allowing you to come near me.
I thought, and that is my only error, that you would have had some respect for a woman of character, whose wish was to find you deserve a similar appellation, and to do you justice, and who pleaded in your vindication, whilst you were insulting her by your criminal designs: no, Sir, you do not know me, or you would not thus presume, upon your own injustice, and because you have dared to speak a language I should not have listened to, you would not have thought, yourself, to write me a letter I ought not to read; and you desire I should guide your steps, and prescribe your conversation! Well, Sir, silence and oblivion is the only advice that is suitable for me to give, and you to follow; then, only, will you have a title to pardon: you might even obtain some title to my gratitude—but no, I shall make no request to a man who has lost all respect for me; I will not repose confidence in one who has already abused it. You oblige me to fear, nay, perhaps, to hate you, which was not my wish; I hoped to see in you the nephew of my most respectable friend; I opposed the voice of friendship to that of the public that accused you: you have destroyed all; and I foresee you will not be disposed to regain any thing.
I thought, and that's my only mistake, that you would have some respect for a woman of integrity, whose wish was to find you deserving of the same title, to do you justice, and who stood up for you while you were insulting her with your harmful intentions. No, Sir, you don’t know me, or you wouldn’t presume to act on your own unfairness. Because you’ve dared to speak in a way I should never have listened to, you wouldn’t think it appropriate to write me a letter I shouldn’t read; and you want me to guide your actions and dictate your conversations! Well, Sir, silence and forgetfulness are the only advice I can give and that you should follow; then, and only then, will you have a right to forgiveness: you might even earn some of my gratitude—but no, I won’t make any requests of a man who has lost all respect for me; I won’t place my trust in someone who has already misused it. You force me to fear, even perhaps to despise you, which I never wanted; I hoped to see in you the nephew of my esteemed friend; I went against the voice of friendship to defend you against the public's accusations: you’ve ruined everything; and I foresee that you’re not likely to try to regain anything.
I shall content myself with informing you, Sir, your sentiments offend me; that your declaration of them is an insult, and far from ever thinking to partake of them, you’ll oblige me never to see you more, if you don’t observe, on this subject, a silence, which I think I have a right not only to expect, but to require. I enclose you the letter you wrote me, and I hope you will, in the same manner, return me this: I should be extremely mortified that any traces should remain, of an event which ought never to have existed.
I’ll just let you know, Sir, that your feelings really upset me; your expression of them is an insult, and I definitely don’t want anything to do with them. Please don’t make me see you again unless you can keep quiet about this topic, which I believe I have the right to expect and demand. I’m sending you back the letter you wrote me, and I hope you’ll return this one to me in the same way. I would be very embarrassed if any evidence of this situation remained, as it should never have happened.
I have the honour,
Aug. 21, 17—.
I’m honored, Aug. 21, 17—.
LETTER XXVII.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Cecilia Volanges to the Marchioness de Merteuil.
How shall I thank you, dear Madam, for your goodness: you judged well that it would be easier for me to write than speak; what I have to tell you is not an easy matter; but you are my friend! Yes, you are my very good friend! And I’ll endeavour not to be afraid; and then I have so much occasion for your advice!—I am in great grief; I think every one guesses my thoughts, especially when he is present; I redden up as soon as any one looks at me. Yesterday, when you saw me crying, it was because I wanted to speak to you, and I don’t know what hindered me; when you asked me what ailed me, the tears came into my eyes in spite of me. I could not have spoke a word. If it had not been for you, Mamma would have taken notice of it; and then what would have become of me? This is the way I spend my time for these four days: that day, Madam, I will out with it, on that day Chevalier Danceny wrote to me; I assure you, when I received his letter, I did not know what it was; but to tell the truth, I read it with great pleasure. I would have suffered any thing all my lifetime, rather than he should not have wrote it to me; however, I know very well I must not tell him so; and I can even assure you, that I told him I was very angry; but he says it gets the better of him, and I believe him; for I had resolved not to answer him, and yet I could not avoid it. I wrote him but once, it was partly even to tell him not to write to me any more; yet he is continually writing; and as I don’t answer him, I see plainly he is very melancholy, and that afflicts me greatly: so that I do not know what to do, nor what will become of me: I am much to be pitied!
How can I thank you, dear Madam, for your kindness? You were right that it would be easier for me to write than to speak. What I need to tell you isn't easy, but you are my friend! Yes, you are a really good friend! I’ll try not to be afraid, and I really need your advice! I'm feeling very distressed; I think everyone can guess what I’m thinking, especially when they’re around me; I blush as soon as someone looks at me. Yesterday, when you saw me crying, it was because I wanted to talk to you, but I don’t know what held me back; when you asked me what was wrong, tears came to my eyes despite myself. I couldn’t say a word. If it hadn’t been for you, Mama would have noticed, and then what would have happened to me? This is how I've spent the last four days: that day, Madam, I have to tell you, Chevalier Danceny wrote to me; I can assure you, when I got his letter, I didn’t even know what it was at first. But honestly, I read it with a lot of pleasure. I would have endured anything for my whole life rather than him not writing it to me; however, I know very well that I shouldn’t tell him that. I can even assure you that I told him I was very angry; but he says it’s overwhelming for him, and I believe him; because I had decided not to respond to him, yet I couldn’t help it. I wrote to him once, partly to tell him not to write to me anymore; yet he keeps writing; and since I'm not answering, I can clearly see he’s very sad, and that really bothers me: I don’t know what to do or what will happen to me; I’m very much to be pitied!
I beg, Madam, you’ll tell me, would there be any great harm in writing an answer to him now and then, only until he can prevail on himself to write me no more, and to be as we used to be before? For myself, if it continues this way, I don’t know what I shall do. I assure you, on reading his last letter, I could not forbear crying all the time; and I am very certain, that if I do not answer him again, it will make us both very uneasy.
I really ask you, Madam, to tell me, would it be such a big deal to write a response to him occasionally, just until he can stop himself from writing to me and we can go back to how we used to be? Honestly, if this keeps happening, I’m not sure what I’ll do. I promise you, when I read his last letter, I couldn’t help but cry the whole time; and I’m pretty sure that if I don’t reply to him again, it will make us both really uneasy.
I will enclose you his letter, or a copy of it, and you’ll see he does not ask any harm. However, if you think it is not proper, I promise you I will not give way to my inclination; but I believe you’ll think as I do, that there’s no harm in it.
I will enclose his letter, or a copy of it, and you’ll see he doesn’t ask for anything harmful. However, if you think it isn’t appropriate, I promise I won’t give in to my feelings; but I believe you’ll agree with me that there’s nothing wrong with it.
And now that I am upon it, give me leave to put you a question: I have been often told it was very wrong to be in love with any body, but why so? What makes me ask you, is this; the Chevalier Danceny insists there’s no harm at all in it, and that almost every body is; if that’s the case, I don’t know why I should be the only one should be hindered; or is it that it is only wrong for young ladies? For I heard Mamma herself say, that Madam de D—— loved M. M——, and she did not speak as if it was so bad a thing; and yet I am sure she would be very angry with me, if she had the least suspicion of my affection for M. Danceny. She behaves to me always as if I was a child, and never tells me any thing at all. I thought, when she took me from the convent, I was to be married; but now I think not. It is not that I care much about it, I assure you; but you who are so intimate with her, you, perhaps, know something about it; and if you do, I hope you will tell me.
And now that I’m on the topic, let me ask you a question: I’ve often been told that it’s very wrong to be in love with anyone, but why is that? The reason I’m bringing this up is that Chevalier Danceny insists there’s nothing wrong with it and that almost everyone feels this way; if that’s true, I don’t understand why I should be the only one who’s restricted. Or is it just wrong for young women? Because I heard my mom say that Madam de D—— loved M. M——, and she didn’t act like it was such a bad thing; yet I’m sure she would be really angry with me if she even suspected I had feelings for M. Danceny. She always treats me like I’m a child and never tells me anything at all. I thought when she took me out of the convent that I was supposed to get married; but now I’m not so sure. It’s not that I care a lot about it, I promise; but since you’re so close to her, you might know something about it, and if you do, I hope you’ll share it with me.
This is a very long letter, Madam; but since you was so good to give me leave to write to you, I made use of it to tell you every thing, and I depend on your friendship.
This is a really long letter, Madam; but since you were so kind to let me write to you, I took the opportunity to share everything, and I trust in your friendship.
I have the honour, &c.
Paris, Aug. 23, 17—.
I’m honored, etc.
Paris, Aug. 23, 1717.
LETTER XXVIII.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to CECILIA VOLANGES.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to CECILIA VOLANGES.
You still, Miss, refuse to answer my letters. Will nothing move you? and must every day banish the hopes it brings! What sort of friendship is it that you consent shall subsist between us? If it is not powerful enough even to make you sensible of my anguish; if you can coolly, and unmoved, look on me, while I suffer, the victim of a flame which I cannot extinguish; if, instead of inspiring you with a confidence in me, my sufferings can hardly move your compassion.—Heavens! your friend suffers, and you will do nothing to assist him. He requests only one word, and you refuse it him! And you desire him to be satisfied with a sentiment so feeble, that you even dread to repeat it. Yesterday you said you would not be ungrateful. Believe me, Miss, when a person repays love only with friendship, it arises not from a fear of being ungrateful: the fear then is only for the appearance of ingratitude. But I no longer dare converse with you on a subject which must be troublesome to you, as it does not interest you; I must, at all events, confine it within myself, and endeavour to learn to conquer it. I feel the difficulty of the task; I know I must call forth my utmost exertions: there is one however will wring my heart most, that is, often to repeat, yours is insensible.
You still refuse to reply to my letters, Miss. Will nothing change your mind? Every day just crushes the hopes I have! What kind of friendship do you want us to have? If it’s not strong enough to make you feel my pain; if you can simply watch me suffer, caught in a fire I can’t put out; if my struggles fail to move you to compassion—oh my! Your friend is hurting, and you won’t do anything to help him. He only asks for one word, and you won’t give it to him! And you want him to settle for a feeling so weak that you’re even afraid to say it out loud. Yesterday you said you wouldn’t be ungrateful. Trust me, Miss, when someone returns love with just friendship, it’s not out of fear of being ungrateful; the real fear is just about how it looks. But I can’t bring myself to talk to you about this anymore, as it only seems to bother you since you don’t care about it; I must keep it all inside and try to overcome it. I know it’s a hard task; I realize I’ll have to push myself to the limit: but the one thing that will hurt me the most is to keep repeating that you’re indifferent.
I will even endeavour to see you less frequently; and I am already busied in finding out a plausible pretence. Must I then forego the pleasing circumstance of daily seeing you; I will at least never cease regretting it. Perpetual anguish is to be the reward of the tenderest affection; and by your desire, and your decree, I am conscious I never shall again find the happiness I lose this day. You alone were formed for my heart. With what pleasure shall I not take the oath to live only for you! But you will not receive it. Your silence sufficiently informs me that your heart suggests nothing to you in my favour; that is at once the most certain proof of your indifference, and the most cruel manner of communicating it. Farewell, Miss.
I’ll even try to see you less often; and I’m already busy looking for a good excuse. Must I really give up the joy of seeing you every day? I’ll always regret it, at the very least. Endless pain is the cost of the deepest affection; and because of your wishes and decisions, I know I’ll never find the happiness I’m losing today. You alone were meant for my heart. How gladly would I swear to live only for you! But I know you won’t accept it. Your silence clearly tells me that your heart has nothing to say in my favor; that’s both the clearest proof of your indifference and the cruelest way to show it. Goodbye, Miss.
I no longer dare flatter myself with receiving an answer; love would have wrote it with eagerness, friendship with pleasure, and even pity with complacency; but pity, friendship, and love, are equally strangers to your heart.
I no longer fool myself into thinking I'll get a response; love would have written it eagerly, friendship with joy, and even pity with satisfaction; but pity, friendship, and love are all equally foreign to your heart.
Paris, Aug. 23, 17—.
Paris, Aug. 23, 1717—.
LETTER XXIX.
CECILIA VOLANGES to SOPHIA CARNAY.
Cecilia Volanges to Sophia Carnay.
It is certain, Sophy, that I told you, one might in some cases write to an admirer; and I assure you, I am very angry with myself for having followed your advice, which has been the cause of so much uneasiness to the Chevalier Danceny and me; and what proves I was right, is, that Madame de Merteuil, who is a woman that ought to know those things perfectly, has at length come to think as I do. I owned every thing to her: at first she thought as you did; but when I had explained every thing to her, she was sensible it was a different case: she requires only that I should show her all my letters, and those of Chevalier Danceny, to be certain I should say nothing but what I ought; so now I am pretty easy. Lord! how I do love Madame de Merteuil; she is a good woman, and a very respectable one; so that her advice may be safely followed. Oh! how I shall write to M. Danceny, and how well satisfied he’ll be; he will be more so than he thinks; for, till now, I only mentioned friendship to him, and he wanted me always to call it love. I believe it was pretty much the same; but I was afraid—that was the fact. I told Madame de Merteuil of it; she told me I was in the right; and that an avowal of love ought only to be made when one could no longer help it: now I’m sure I cannot help it much longer; after all, it is all one, and it will please him most.
It’s clear, Sophy, that I mentioned you could sometimes write to a suitor; and I have to say, I’m really upset with myself for taking your advice, which has caused so much stress for both the Chevalier Danceny and me. What proves I was right is that Madame de Merteuil, who should really know better, has finally come around to my way of thinking. I confessed everything to her: at first, she agreed with you, but after I explained things, she realized it was a different situation. She only needs me to show her all my letters and those from Chevalier Danceny to make sure I’m only saying what I should; so now I feel a lot better. Oh, how I adore Madame de Merteuil; she’s a good person and very respectable, so her advice is safe to follow. I can’t wait to write to M. Danceny, and he’ll be so pleased; he’ll be more pleased than he realizes because, until now, I only mentioned friendship, while he always wanted me to call it love. I think it’s pretty much the same thing, but I was just scared—that’s the truth. I told Madame de Merteuil about it, and she said I was right, that a confession of love should only happen when you can’t hold back anymore; and I’m sure I can’t hold back much longer. After all, it doesn’t really matter, and it will make him happiest.
Madame de Merteuil told me also, that she would lend me some books, which treat that subject very fully, and would teach me how to conduct myself, and also to write better than I do: for she tells me all my faults, and that is a proof she loves me; she charged me only to say nothing to Mamma of those books, because it would look as if she had neglected my education, and that might displease her. I will engage I shall say nothing of it.
Madame de Merteuil also told me that she would lend me some books that cover that topic in detail and would teach me how to behave and write better than I currently do. She points out all my mistakes, which shows she cares about me. She just asked me not to mention those books to Mom, as it might make it seem like she hasn’t cared for my education, and that could upset her. I promise I won’t say anything about it.
It is, however, very extraordinary, that a woman, who is but a very distant relation, should take more care of me than my mother! I am very happy to be acquainted with her.
It’s really surprising that a woman, who is just a distant relative, takes better care of me than my mom! I’m very glad to know her.
She has asked my Mamma leave to take me to the opera, to her own box, the day after to-morrow; she told me we should be by ourselves, and would chat all the while, without danger of being overheard.—I like that a great deal better than the opera. My marriage will be, in part, the subject of our conversation, I hope; for she told me it was very certain I was to be married; but we had not an opportunity to say any more. Is it not very strange Mamma says nothing at all to me about it.
She asked my mom for permission to take me to the opera, to her own box, the day after tomorrow. She told me we’d be alone and could chat the whole time without worrying about being overheard. I like that much better than the opera. I hope our conversation will partly be about my marriage, because she told me it’s pretty certain I’m going to get married, but we didn’t have a chance to discuss it further. Isn’t it strange that my mom doesn't mention anything about it to me?
Adieu, my dear Sophy; I am going to write to Chevalier Danceny. I am quite happy.
Adieu, my dear Sophy; I'm going to write to Chevalier Danceny. I'm feeling really happy.
Aug. 24, 17—.
Aug. 24, 17—.
LETTER XXX.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
Cecilia Volanges to the Chevalier Danceny.
At last, Sir, I consent to write to you, to assure you of my friendship, of my love even, since without that you must be unhappy. You say I have not a tender heart: I assure you you are much mistaken; and I hope you now doubt it no longer. If you were uneasy because I did not write to you, do you think it did not give me a great deal of concern too? The reason was, I would not, for all the world, do any thing that was wrong; and I should not even have owned my affection for you, if I could have helped it; but your grief gave me too much uneasiness. I hope now you will be so no longer, and that we shall be very happy.
At last, I’m writing to you to reassure you of my friendship and even my love, because without that, you must be unhappy. You say I don’t have a tender heart, but I promise you’re mistaken; I hope you believe that now. If you were worried because I didn’t write, do you think that didn’t concern me as well? The reason I didn’t write is that I wouldn’t ever want to do anything wrong; I wouldn’t have even admitted my feelings for you if I could have avoided it, but your sadness troubled me too much. I hope you won’t feel that way anymore, and that we’ll be very happy together.
I expect to have the pleasure of seeing you this evening, and that you will come early; it will not be as much so as I wish. Mamma sups at home, and I believe she will ask you to stay. I hope you will not be engaged, as you was the day before yesterday. Surely the company you went to sup with must have been very pleasing, for you went very soon; but let us talk no more of that. Now that you know I love you, I hope you will be with me as often as you can; for I am never pleased but when with you; and I wish, with all my heart, you were the same.
I’m looking forward to seeing you this evening, and I hope you can arrive early; it won’t be as much fun as I’d like otherwise. Mom is having dinner at home, and I think she’ll invite you to stay. I really hope you’re not busy like you were a couple of days ago. The company you had to dinner must have been really nice since you left so quickly; but let’s not dwell on that. Now that you know I love you, I hope you can be with me as often as possible because I’m only happy when I’m with you, and I truly wish you felt the same way.
I am very sorry you should still be melancholy; but it is not my fault. I shall desire to play on the harpsichord as soon as you come, that you may have my letter immediately. I think that is the best thing I can do.
I’m really sorry you’re still feeling down, but it’s not my fault. I want to play the harpsichord as soon as you arrive so you can get my letter right away. I think that’s the best I can do.
Farewell, Sir; I love you with all my heart; the oftener I tell you so, the more happy I feel. I hope you will be so too.
Farewell, Sir; I love you with all my heart; the more I say it, the happier I feel. I hope you feel the same way too.
Aug. 24, 17—.
Aug. 24, 17—.
LETTER XXXI.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to CECILIA VOLANGES.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to CECILIA VOLANGES.
Yes, certainly, we shall be very happy. My happiness is secure, since I am beloved by you. Yours will never end, if it lasts as long as my love. And do you love me, and no longer dread telling me so? The oftener you tell me so, the more happy you feel. After having read the enchanting I love you, wrote with your hand, I heard your lovely mouth repeat the avowal. I figured to me those charming eyes, rendered still more so by the expression of tenderness fixed on me. I have received your vows to live for me alone. Oh receive mine, to devote my life to your happiness, and be assured I never will deceive you!
Yes, of course, we’ll be very happy. My happiness is assured because you love me. Yours will never fade if it lasts as long as my love. Do you love me, and are you no longer afraid to say it? The more you tell me, the happier you’ll feel. After reading the beautiful I love you, written in your handwriting, I heard your sweet voice say it again. I imagined those lovely eyes, even more enchanting with the tenderness they looked at me with. I’ve accepted your promise to live for me alone. Oh, accept mine to dedicate my life to your happiness, and know that I will never betray you!
What a happy day was yesterday! Why has not Madame de Merteuil always secrets to impart to your Mamma? Why must the idea of the restraint that attends us, be mixed with the delicious remembrance that fills my soul? Why can’t I for ever squeeze that lovely hand, that wrote I love you, imprint it with my kisses, and be thus revenged for your refusal of a greater favour?
What a perfect day yesterday was! Why doesn’t Madame de Merteuil always have secrets to share with your mom? Why does the thought of the limitations we face have to mix with the sweet memories that flood my heart? Why can’t I forever hold that beautiful hand, the one that wrote I love you, cover it in kisses, and get back at you for not giving me a bigger favor?
Tell me, then, my Cecilia, when your Mamma came back, when, by her presence, we were constrained to behave with indifference to each other, when you could no longer console me by assurances of love, for the refusal of proof, did not you feel some sorrow? did not you say to yourself, one kiss would have made him completely happy, and refused it? Promise me, my lovely charmer, that you’ll be not so rigorous the first opportunity. Such a promise will enable me to bear up against the disappointments that I foresee are preparing for us, and the crosses I shall meet, will at least be softened by the certainty that you share them.
Tell me, then, my Cecilia, when your mom came back, when, by her presence, we had to act indifferent towards each other, when you could no longer comfort me with reassurances of love because of the lack of proof, didn’t you feel some sadness? Didn’t you tell yourself that one kiss would have made him completely happy, and still refused it? Promise me, my lovely charmer, that you won’t be so strict at the first chance you get. Such a promise will help me cope with the disappointments I see coming our way, and the challenges I will face will at least be softened by the knowledge that you share them.
Adieu, my adorable Cecilia! The hour is come that I am to be with you. It would be impossible for me to leave off, if it was not to go to you. Adieu, once more, my dearest love!
Adieu, my lovely Cecilia! The time has come for me to be with you. I couldn't possibly stop unless it was to go to you. Adieu, once again, my sweetest love!
Aug. 25, 17—.
Aug. 25, 17—.
LETTER XXXII.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
Madame de Volanges to the President DE TOURVEL.
You wish then, Madam, that I should form a good opinion of the virtue of Monsieur de Valmont? I own I cannot bring myself to it; and that I should have as much difficulty to think so from the simple fact you relate, as to believe a man of acknowledged worth to be vicious for the commission of one fault. Human nature is not perfect in any shape, neither in good nor evil. The profligate wretch has his virtues as well as the virtuous man his weaknesses. This truth is so much the more necessary to be believed, because, from thence arises the necessity of indulgence for the wicked as well as the good; and that it preserves these from pride, and those from being discouraged. You will, without doubt, think that I don’t now practise the doctrine I speak; but it appears to me a most dangerous weakness, to put the man of virtue and the profligate on an equality.
You want me to have a good opinion of Monsieur de Valmont, Madame? Honestly, I can't do that; it would be just as hard for me to think he's virtuous based on your account as it would be for me to believe that a man of established character could be bad because of one mistake. Human nature isn’t perfect in any way, whether for good or bad. The immoral person has his virtues, just as the virtuous person has his flaws. This truth needs to be accepted because it encourages understanding for both the wicked and the good, helping prevent pride in the former and discouragement in the latter. You might think I'm not applying this belief myself right now, but I see it as a serious mistake to treat the virtuous and the immoral as equals.
I will not take upon me to scrutinize the motives of Mr. Valmont’s action; I’ll even think it in itself laudable; but nevertheless, has he not, all his life, been employed in spreading trouble, dishonour, and scandal in families? Listen, if you will, to the voice of the unhappy people he has relieved: but let not that prevent you from attending to the cries of a hundred victims that he has sacrificed. If, as you say, he was only one example of the danger of connections, would he be the less a dangerous connection? You suppose him capable of a happy reformation: let us go farther, suppose this miracle completed; would not the public opinion be still against him, and ought not that to be sufficient to regulate your conduct? God alone can absolve at the moment of repentance; he is the searcher of hearts; but men can judge only by actions; and no one, after having lost the esteem of the world, has a right to complain of diffidence, which makes this loss so difficult to be repaired. I would have you think above all, my dear young friend, that to lose this esteem, it is sometimes enough to seem to set little value upon it, and do not tax this severity with injustice; for as the world has a right to think that no one renounces this precious jewel, who has good pretensions to it, whoever is not restrained by this consideration, is on the brink of danger. Such, however, would be the aspect, an intimate connection with Mr. de Valmont would carry with it, were it ever so innocent.
I won’t dive into the reasons behind Mr. Valmont’s actions; I’ll even call them commendable on their own. However, hasn’t he spent his entire life causing trouble, dishonor, and scandal in families? Listen to the voices of the unhappy people he’s helped, but don’t let that distract you from the cries of the hundred victims he has sacrificed. If, as you say, he’s just one example of the dangers of connections, does that make him any less dangerous? You believe he could change for the better; let’s take it a step further and imagine that miracle has happened. Wouldn’t public opinion still be against him, and shouldn’t that influence your actions? Only God can forgive true repentance; He knows our hearts, but people can only judge based on actions. Anyone who has lost the world’s esteem has no right to complain about the distrust that makes regaining that esteem so hard. I want you to realize, my dear young friend, that sometimes it only takes appearing to not value that esteem to lose it. Don’t label this strictness as unfair because the world has every right to believe that no one gives up this precious jewel if they truly deserve it. Anyone who isn’t careful with this idea is flirting with danger. That’s the kind of impression a close connection with Mr. de Valmont would give, no matter how innocent it might seem.
Alarmed with the warmth with which you defend him, I hasten to anticipate the objections I foresee you’ll make. You’ll quote Madame de Merteuil, whose connection with him has escaped censure; you’ll perhaps ask me why I admit him to my house? You will tell me, that far from being rejected by the worthy part of society, he is admitted, even sought for, by what is called good company: I can, I believe, answer to all.
Alarmed by how passionately you defend him, I want to address the objections I expect you’ll raise. You’ll mention Madame de Merteuil, whose relationship with him hasn’t faced criticism; you might even ask me why I allow him into my home. You’ll argue that rather than being shunned by respectable society, he is welcomed, even pursued, by what’s considered good company: I think I can respond to all of that.
Madame de Merteuil, who is really a very valuable woman, has, perhaps, no other defect but that of too much confidence in her own strength; she is a dexterous guide, who delights in driving her chariot between rocks and precipices, in which her success alone justifies her: it is right to praise her, but it would be imprudent to follow her; she herself is convinced, and condemns herself for it, and as she grows in experience, her conduct is more reserved; and I can confidently assure you, we are both of the same opinion.
Madame de Merteuil, who is actually a highly valuable person, might only have one flaw: too much faith in her own abilities. She’s a skilled navigator who enjoys steering her chariot through rocks and cliffs, where her success alone validates her actions. It’s appropriate to commend her, but it would be unwise to follow her blindly; she’s aware of this herself and criticizes her own behavior. As she gains more experience, she becomes more cautious in her actions, and I can confidently say we share the same perspective.
As to what relates to myself, I will not excuse it more than in others; I admit Mr. de Valmont: without doubt he is received every where; that is an inconsequence to be added to the many others that govern society. You know as well as me, that we spend our lives in remarking, complaining, and giving ourselves up to them. Mr. de Valmont, with a pompous title, a great fortune, many amiable qualities, saw early, that to gain an ascendant in society, it was sufficient to know how to manage with equal address, praise, and ridicule. No one, like him, possesses this double talent; with the one he seduces, with the other he makes himself dreaded: he is not esteemed, but flattered. Such is his existence in the midst of a world, that, more prudent than bold, would rather keep on good terms with him than combat him.
As for me, I won't justify it any more than I would for others; I acknowledge Mr. de Valmont: there's no doubt he’s accepted everywhere; that's just one of the many contradictions that shape our society. You know as well as I do that we spend our lives pointing these things out, complaining, and giving in to them. Mr. de Valmont, with his flashy title, immense wealth, and many charming traits, realized early on that to gain power in society, it’s enough to skillfully mix praise and ridicule. No one else has his unique talent; with praise, he charms people, while with ridicule, he instills fear. He's not respected, but flattered. This is how he exists in a world that, being more cautious than daring, prefers to stay on good terms with him rather than confront him.
But neither Madame de Merteuil nor any other woman would venture to shut herself up in the country, almost tête-à-tête, with such a man. It was reserved for the most discreet, and the most virtuous among them, to set an example of such an inconsequence; pardon the expression, it slipped from me through friendship. My charming friend, even your virtue betrays you, by the security it inspires you with. Think, then, on the one hand, that you will have for judges frivolous people, who will not believe in a virtue, the model of which they cannot find among themselves; and on the other, profligates, who will feign not to believe in it to punish you. Consider you are now doing what many men would be afraid to risk; for among the young men of fashion, to whom Mr. de Valmont is now become the oracle, the most prudent seem to dread appearing too intimately connected with him; and you are under no apprehensions; ah, return, I conjure you! If my reasons are not sufficient to persuade you, at least give way to my friendship; it is it that makes me renew my instances, it is it must justify them. You will think it severe, and I wish it may be useless; but I would much rather you should have reason to complain of its solicitude, than its negligence.
But neither Madame de Merteuil nor any other woman would dare to isolate herself in the countryside, almost one-on-one, with such a man. It was left to the most discreet and virtuous among them to set an example of such inconsistency; forgive the wording, it slipped out due to our friendship. My lovely friend, even your virtue is betraying you by the confidence it gives you. Consider that you will have as judges shallow people who won’t believe in a virtue they can't find in themselves, and on the other hand, the morally corrupt, who will pretend not to believe in it to punish you. Think about the fact that you're doing what many men would be afraid to attempt; among the fashionable young men, whom Mr. de Valmont has now become the advisor for, the most cautious seem to fear appearing too closely linked with him; yet you have no worries; oh, please reconsider, I urge you! If my arguments aren’t enough to convince you, at least let my friendship sway you; it’s what leads me to repeat my pleas, and it must justify them. You might think it harsh, and I hope it turns out to be unnecessary, but I would much rather you have reason to complain about my concern than my indifference.
Aug. 24, 17—.
Aug. 24, 17—.
LETTER XXXIII.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the VALMONT, THE VISCOUNT.
Now that you dread succeeding, my dear Viscount, now that your scheme is to furnish arms against yourself, and that you wish more to fight than conquer, I have nothing more to say. Your conduct is certainly a masterpiece of prudence; in a contrary supposition, it would be the highest act of folly; and to tell you my sentiments freely, I fear your project is entirely chimerical.
Now that you’re afraid of succeeding, my dear Viscount, now that your plan is to prepare for your own downfall, and that you prefer to fight rather than win, I really have nothing more to say. Your behavior is definitely a brilliant display of caution; if the situation were different, it would be the most foolish thing to do; and to be honest, I worry that your project is completely unrealistic.
I do not reproach you for having let slip the opportunity; for I really cannot see that you had it in your power; and I know well, whatever others may say, that an opportunity lost may be found again, and that a rash step is irrecoverable.
I don't blame you for missing the chance; honestly, I can't see how you could have had the power to take it. And I know very well, despite what others might say, that a lost opportunity can be found again, but a hasty decision is irreversible.
But I admire your wisdom in commencing a correspondence, and I defy you to foresee how it will end. You perhaps hope to prove to this woman, that she should give herself up? And that seems to me a truth of opinion, more than of demonstration; and that to make it be relished, you soften, and not argue; but what purpose would it answer to soften by letter, since you would not be on the spot to benefit by it? If all your fine phrases should even produce the intoxication of love, do you flatter yourself that it would be of so long a duration that reflection would not come time enough to prevent its consequences? Think, then, how much it will take to write a letter, and how much before it can be delivered; and then consider if a woman, of the principles of your devotee, can think so long on what she endeavours never at all to think of: this proceeding may do very well with children, who while they write, I love you, do not know they say I give myself up to you; but Madame de Tourvel’s reasoning virtue makes her know the value of the terms. This appears very plain; for notwithstanding the advantage you had over her in your conversation, she foils you in her letter; and what will be the consequence? That by long debating, you will not bring to compliance; that by dint of searching for good reasons, she will find them, will give them, and stick to them; not so much because they are good in themselves, as not to act inconsistently.
But I admire your wisdom in starting a conversation, and I challenge you to predict how it will turn out. You might hope to convince this woman to give herself to you completely? That seems more like a matter of opinion than proof; to make it appealing, you soften your approach instead of arguing. But what good would it do to soften it in a letter when you won't be there to benefit from it? Even if all your fancy words somehow spark feelings of love, do you really believe it would last long enough for her to think things through and prevent the fallout? Consider how long it takes to write a letter and how much longer before it gets delivered; then think about whether a woman with your devotee's principles can really spend that much time thinking about something she tries hard not to think about at all. This might work with children, who, while writing "I love you," don't realize they're saying "I give myself to you." But Madame de Tourvel’s virtuous reasoning makes her aware of the significance of those words. This is quite clear; despite your advantage in conversation, she outsmarts you in her letter. What will happen as a result? After a long debate, you won't get her to comply; by searching for good reasons, she'll discover them, present them, and stick to them—not just because they're solid arguments, but to avoid acting inconsistently.
Moreover, a remark I am astonished you have not made, is, that nothing is so difficult in love, as to write what one does not feel. I mean to write with the appearance of truth; it is not but the same phrases are used; they are not arranged in the same manner; or rather, they are arranged with too much perspicuity, and that is worse.
Moreover, I’m surprised you haven't pointed out that nothing is more challenging in love than writing what you don't actually feel. I mean to write as if it’s true; it's just that the same phrases are used, but they aren’t put together in the same way; or rather, they are arranged with too much clarity, and that makes it worse.
Read over your letter again; it displays so much regularity that you are discovered in every phrase. I am inclined to think your Presidente is so unfashionable as not to perceive it; but what is that to the purpose? the consequence will be still the same; that is the defect of romance; the author racks his brain, heats his imagination, and the reader is unmoved. Heloise is the only exception I know; and notwithstanding the great talents of the author, from this observation alone, I have ever been of opinion, that the work is grounded in truth; not so in speaking; the custom of conversation gives it an air of tenderness, to which the facility of tears still greatly adds; expressive desires blend themselves with the languishing look, and, at last, incoherent speeches more readily bring on that turbulence of passion, which is the true eloquence of love; but above all, the presence of the beloved object banishes reflection, and makes us wish to be overcome.
Read your letter again; it shows so much consistency that you can be seen in every phrase. I’m tempted to think your Presidente is so out of touch that he doesn't notice it; but what does that matter? The outcome will be the same; that’s the flaw of romance. The author thinks hard, fuels their imagination, and the reader remains indifferent. Heloise is the only exception I know; and despite the author's great talents, from this observation alone, I've always believed that the work is rooted in truth. Not so in conversation; the way we talk gives it a sense of tenderness, which is only heightened by the ease of tears. Expressive desires mingle with a longing look, and, ultimately, jumbled words more easily lead to that emotional chaos, which is the true language of love. But above all, being in the presence of the beloved completely eliminates reflection and makes us want to be swept away.
Believe me, my dear Viscount, she does not desire you should write any more; retrieve your error, and wait for the opportunity of speaking to her. This woman has more fortitude than I expected; her defence is good, and were it not for the length of her letter, and the pretence she gives you for a replication in her grateful phrase, she would not at all have betrayed herself.
Believe me, my dear Viscount, she doesn't want you to write anymore; correct your mistake and wait for a chance to talk to her. This woman is stronger than I thought; her defense is solid, and if it weren't for the length of her letter and the excuse she gives you to respond in her grateful tone, she wouldn't have revealed anything at all.
And what, I think, ought to ascertain your success is, she exhausts all her strength at once; and I foresee she will persist in it, for the defence of a word, and will have none left for the crisis.
And what I believe should determine your success is that she uses up all her energy at once; and I can see she will keep doing this, just to defend a word, and won't have any left for the crucial moment.
I send you back your two letters, and, if you are prudent, they should be the last till after the happy moment. It is too late to say any thing of the little Volanges, who comes on very well, and gives me great satisfaction. I believe I shall have done before you, which ought to make you very happy. Farewell for to-day!
I’m sending your two letters back, and if you’re smart, they should be the last until after the happy moment. It’s too late to talk about the little Volanges, who is doing really well and brings me a lot of joy. I think I’ll be finished before you, which should make you very happy. Goodbye for now!
Aug. 24, 17—.
Aug. 24, 17—.
LETTER XXXIV.
VISCOUNT VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
VISCOUNT VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
You write enchantingly, my charming friend; but why take so much trouble to prove a position which all the world knows, that to make a quick progress in love matters, it is better to speak than write? This, I believe, is the full contents of your letter; and is it not the first elements of the art of seduction? I will only remark, that you make but one exception to this principle, and that there are two: with children, who take this step through timidity, and give themselves up through ignorance, you must add the women of genius, who are dupes to self-love and vanity, which leads them into the snare. For example; I am very certain that the Countess de B——, who answered, without hesitating, my first letter, had then no more affection for me, than I had for her; and that in this connection she had no other view, than being engaged with a person whom she imagined would do her honour.
You write beautifully, my charming friend; but why go through so much effort to prove something that everyone already knows—that when it comes to love, it's better to talk than to write? This, I believe, is the main point of your letter; and isn't it the basic principle of seduction? I’ll just add that you only make one exception to this rule, when in fact there are two: with children, who take this step out of shyness and fall for it out of ignorance, you must also include women of intelligence, who are caught up in self-love and vanity, which leads them into trouble. For instance, I'm pretty sure that the Countess de B——, who replied immediately to my first letter, felt no more affection for me than I felt for her; and that in this situation, she had no other aim than to associate with someone she believed would enhance her reputation.
However, a lawyer will tell you, that the maxim is not applicable to the question; for you suppose that it is at my option to write or speak, which is not the case. Since the affair of the 20th, my cruel charmer, who keeps on the defensive, has studiously avoided meeting me, a piece of address which totally disconcerts me: so that if it should continue, she will oblige me to think seriously on the means of regaining this advantage; as I most assuredly will not be baffled by her in this manner; even my letters are the occasion of a little warfare: not satisfied with giving no reply, she even refuses receiving them, and I am under the necessity of a new stratagem for each, which does not always succeed.
However, a lawyer would tell you that this saying doesn’t apply to the situation. You think it's my choice to write or speak, but that's not true. Since the incident on the 20th, my cruel charm, who keeps playing hard to get, has intentionally avoided seeing me, which completely throws me off. If this keeps up, she’ll force me to seriously consider ways to regain the upper hand; I definitely won’t let her get the better of me like this. Even my letters spark a bit of conflict: not only does she not respond, but she also refuses to even accept them, and I have to come up with a new tactic for each one, which doesn’t always work.
You may recollect in what a simple manner I delivered the first; the second was not more difficult. She required I should return her letter; I gave her mine instead of it, without her having the least suspicion. But whether from vexation to have been duped, whether through capriciousness or virtue, for she will oblige me to believe she is virtuous, she has obstinately refused the third. I expect, however, from the embarrassment that this refusal had like to put her in, she will in future be more cautious.
You might remember how easily I handed over the first letter; the second one was just as simple. She asked for her letter back, and I gave her mine instead, without her suspecting a thing. But whether it was out of annoyance for being tricked, or just out of some whim or her desire to appear virtuous—she insists on making me believe she is virtuous—she stubbornly refused the third. However, I expect that after the awkwardness this refusal caused her, she will be more careful in the future.
However, I was not much astonished that she would not receive that letter, which I offered her in a very plain manner—that would have been granting something—and I expect a longer defence. After this effort, which was only an essay by way of trial, I put a cover over my letter, and taking the opportunity when she was at her toilette, when Madame de Rosemonde and her waiting-maid were present, I sent it her by my huntsman, ordering him to tell her that it was the paper she asked me for. I rightly judged that she would dread a scandalous explanation, which a refusal would necessarily have brought on; and indeed she took the letter. My ambassador, who had orders to observe her countenance diligently, and who is a shrewd fellow, perceived only a slight blush, with more embarrassment than anger.
However, I wasn't really surprised that she wouldn't accept the letter I offered her so straightforwardly—that would have meant giving in—and I expected a longer explanation. After this attempt, which was just a test run, I covered my letter and took the chance when she was getting ready, with Madame de Rosemonde and her maid present, to send it to her through my huntsman, instructing him to say it was the paper she had asked me for. I correctly figured that she would fear a scandalous confrontation, which a refusal would have caused; and indeed, she took the letter. My messenger, who was instructed to carefully observe her expression and is quite perceptive, noticed only a slight blush, showing more discomfort than anger.
I applauded myself, being very certain that she would either keep this letter, or, if she meant to return it, she must take an opportunity when we were alone, and then could not avoid a conference. About an hour after, one of her people came into my room, from his mistress, and delivered me a packet, folded in another form than my own, on the cover of which I immediately perceived the long-wished-for characters. I broke the seal with rapture—Behold! it was my own letter, unsealed, and doubled down.—I suspect she dreaded I was not so scrupulous as she, on the score of scandal, which made her invent this diabolical stratagem. You know me well—I have no occasion to describe the rage this put me into. However, I was obliged to be calm, and to think of other means—and this is the only one I could think of:—
I gave myself a pat on the back, feeling pretty sure that she would either keep this letter or, if she planned to return it, she would have to do it when we were alone, which would lead to a conversation. About an hour later, one of her people came into my room from her and handed me a package, folded differently than my own, and I immediately recognized the long-awaited characters on the cover. I broke the seal with excitement—look! It was my own letter, unsealed and folded. I suspect she feared I wouldn't be as careful as she was regarding gossip, which made her come up with this wicked trick. You know me well—I don’t need to explain the anger this caused me. But I had to stay calm and think of other options—and this is the only one I could come up with:—
Every morning there is a man sent for the letters from this to the post office, which is about three quarters of a league; for this purpose a small box, in the shape of a trunk, is made use of; the master of the post office keeps one key, and Madame de Rosemonde the other. Every one puts in their letters when they think proper, and they are carried at night to the post office: in the morning the messenger goes back for those that arrive. All the servants, strangers and others, take it in turn. It was not my servant’s turn; but he offered to go, on pretence that he had business there.
Every morning, a man is sent to pick up the mail from the post office, which is about three-quarters of a league away. For this, a small trunk-shaped box is used. The post office master has one key, while Madame de Rosemonde has the other. Everyone drops in their letters whenever they want, and they are taken to the post office at night. In the morning, the messenger goes back to collect the incoming mail. The servants, including strangers and others, take turns doing this. It wasn’t my servant’s turn, but he offered to go, claiming he had business there.
I wrote my letter. I disguised the superscription in a feigned hand, and counterfeited tolerably, on the cover, the post mark of Dijon. I chose this town in a gay humour, as I wished for the same rites as the husband; I also wrote from the same place; and likewise because my fair one had been all day expressing her wish to receive letters from Dijon, I thought it but right to give her that satisfaction.
I wrote my letter. I faked the address in a fake handwriting and managed to imitate the postmark from Dijon pretty well on the envelope. I picked this town playfully since I wanted the same treatment as the husband; I also pretended to write from the same place. Plus, my lovely one had been saying all day how much she wanted to get letters from Dijon, so I thought it was only fair to give her that satisfaction.
Those precautions taken, it was a matter of no difficulty to mix this letter with the others; and I still had it in view to be witness to its reception; for the custom is to assemble together at breakfast, and wait the arrival of the letters before we separate. At length they arrived.
Those precautions taken, it was easy to mix this letter with the others; and I still planned to witness its arrival; because the custom is to gather for breakfast, and wait for the letters to arrive before we part ways. Finally, they arrived.
Madame de Rosemonde opened the box. “From Dijon,” said she, giving the letter to Madame de Tourvel. “It is not my husband’s writing,” replied the other, in some confusion, breaking open the seal immediately. The first glance informed her who it came from, and made such a change in her countenance, that Madame de Rosemonde took notice of it, and said, “What ails you?” I immediately drew near, saying, “This letter must be very dreadful indeed!” The timorous devotee did not lift up her eyes, nor speak a syllable; and to conceal her embarrassment, feigned to run over the letter, which she was scarce able to read. I enjoyed her uneasiness; and wishing to push it a little farther.—“Your easy air,” replied I, “makes me hope that this letter has been the occasion of more astonishment than grief.” Her anger then overpowered her prudence. “It contains,” replied she, “things that offend me much; and that I am astonished any one would dare write to me.” And “who then can it be?” replied Madame de Rosemonde. “It is not signed,” replied the angry fair; “but the letter and its author I equally despise: and I shall take it as a favour to say no more about it.” So saying, she tore the audacious epistle, put the scraps in her pocket, rose, and went out.
Madame de Rosemonde opened the box. “From Dijon,” she said, handing the letter to Madame de Tourvel. “This isn’t my husband’s handwriting,” the other replied, a bit flustered, as she immediately broke the seal. A quick glance revealed the sender, and the change in her expression caught Madame de Rosemonde's attention, prompting her to ask, “What’s wrong?” I stepped closer, saying, “This letter must be really serious!” The anxious devotee didn’t look up or say a word; to hide her discomfort, she pretended to skim the letter, struggling to read it. I relished her distress and wanting to push it a bit further, I said, “Your calm demeanor makes me think this letter has caused more shock than sorrow.” Her irritation then overtook her composure. “It contains,” she said, “things that deeply offend me; I’m surprised anyone would dare to write such things to me.” “And who could it be from?” Madame de Rosemonde asked. “It’s not signed,” the angry woman replied, “but I despise both the letter and its author equally; I'm considering it a favor if we don’t discuss it any further.” With that, she ripped up the bold letter, stuffed the pieces into her pocket, stood up, and left.
Notwithstanding all this anger, she nevertheless has my letter; and I depend upon her curiosity that she will read it.
Despite all this anger, she still has my letter; and I’m counting on her curiosity that she will read it.
The circumstances of this day would lead me too far. I enclose you the rough draft of my two letters, which will acquaint you with every thing. If you wish to know the course of this correspondence, you must accustom yourself to decypher my minutes; for I would not for the world take the trouble of copying them. Adieu, my lovely friend!
The situation today would take me too long to explain. I'm sending you the rough draft of my two letters, which will fill you in on everything. If you want to follow along with this correspondence, you'll need to get used to deciphering my notes; I wouldn't dream of going through the hassle of rewriting them. Goodbye, my lovely friend!
Aug. 25, 17—.
Aug. 25, 17—.
LETTER XXXV.
VISCOUNT VALMONT to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
Viscount Valmont to the President De Tourvel.
You must be obeyed, Madam; and I must convince you, that, notwithstanding all the faults you are pleased to think me guilty of, I have yet at least so much delicacy as not to suffer a single reproach to escape my lips, and sufficient resolution to impose on myself the most painful sacrifice. You command me to be silent, and to forget you. Well, I shall constrain my love to be silent, and, if possible, I shall forget the cruel manner in which it has been received. Undoubtedly my wish to please gave me no right to it; and I must farther acknowledge, that the necessity I was under of having your indulgence, was not a sufficient title to obtain it: but you consider my love as an atrocious affront; you forget that if it is a fault, you are at once both the cause and the apology for it. You forget also, that accustomed as I was to lay open my soul to you, even when that confidence might be detrimental to me, it was no longer possible for me to hide the sentiments with which I was affected; and what is the result of sincerity, you look upon as the effect of arrogance; and in recompence of the most tender, the most respectful, and the most sincere love, you drive me far from you. You even threaten me with your hatred. Where is the man who would not complain to be so treated? But I submit, and suffer all without murmuring. You strike, and I adore! The inconceivable ascendant you have obtained over me, has rendered you sole mistress of my sentiments; and if my love alone disobeys, if you cannot destroy it, it is because it is your own work, not mine.
You need to be obeyed, Madam; and I have to show you that, despite all the faults you believe I’ve committed, I still have enough decency not to let a single complaint slip from my lips, and enough resolve to impose on myself the most painful sacrifice. You command me to keep quiet and to forget you. Fine, I will force my love to be silent, and if possible, I will forget the cruel way it has been received. Surely, my desire to please didn’t give me the right to it; and I must further admit that my need for your kindness wasn’t enough to earn it: but you see my love as a terrible offense; you forget that if it’s a fault, you are both the cause and the excuse for it. You also overlook that, having been used to laying my soul bare to you, even when that trust could harm me, it was no longer possible for me to hide the feelings I had; and what you perceive as sincerity, you see as arrogance; and in return for the most tender, respectful, and sincere love, you push me far away. You even threaten me with your hatred. Who wouldn’t complain about being treated this way? But I concede, and endure everything without a word. You hit me, and I adore you! The incredible power you have over me makes you the sole master of my feelings; and if my love alone disobeys, if you can’t destroy it, it’s because it’s your own creation, not mine.
I ask no return; that I never flattered myself with: I don’t even implore that pity which the concern you seem to take for me flattered me with the hope of; but I believe, I own, I have a right to claim your justice.
I don’t expect anything in return; I never deluded myself into thinking that. I’m not even begging for the sympathy that your apparent concern for me gave me hope for; but I do believe, and I admit, I have the right to ask for your fairness.
You inform me, Madam, that some persons have endeavoured to prejudice me in your esteem. If you had given credit to the advice of your friends, you would not have even suffered me to approach you. Those are your terms; who then are those officious friends? Certainly those people of such severe morals, and such rigid virtue, will have no objection to give up their names; they certainly would not take shelter behind the same screen with the vilest of slanderers; and I shall then be no longer ignorant of their name and their charge. Consider, Madam, I have a right to know both one and the other, since you judge me from their report. A criminal is never condemned without being told his crime, and naming his accusers. I ask no other favour; and I, beforehand, engage to make good my justification, and to compel them to retract.
You tell me, Madam, that some people have tried to turn you against me. If you had listened to your friends' advice, you wouldn’t have even let me approach you. Those are your terms; so who are these meddling friends? Surely, these people with such high morals and strict virtues won't mind revealing their names; they certainly wouldn't want to hide with the most despicable slanderers, and then I wouldn't be left in the dark about their identities and their accusations. Think about it, Madam, I have the right to know both, since you’re judging me based on what they say. A person accused of a crime is never condemned without being told what the crime is and who the accusers are. I'm not asking for anything else; and I’m ready to prove my innocence and make them take back their words.
If I have, perhaps, too much despised the empty clamours of the public, which I set little value on, it is not so with your esteem; and when I consecrate my whole life to merit it, it shall not be ravished from me with impunity. It becomes so much the more precious to me, as I shall, without doubt, owe to it the request you fear to make me, and which, you say, would give me a right to your gratitude. Ah! far from requiring any, I shall think myself highly indebted to you, if you can assist me with an opportunity of being agreeable to you.
If I've maybe looked down too much on the empty noises of the public, which I don’t care about much, I don't feel the same way about your opinion. When I dedicate my entire life to earning it, I won't let it be taken from me without consequences. It becomes even more valuable to me, as I will undoubtedly owe to it the request you're afraid to make, which, you say, would give me a reason for your gratitude. Oh! Rather than needing any, I’ll consider myself deeply grateful to you if you can help me find a way to be pleasing to you.
Begin then by doing me more justice, and let me be no longer ignorant of what you wish me to do; if I could guess at it, I would save you the trouble of telling it me. To the pleasure of seeing you, add the happiness of serving you, and I shall extol your indulgence. What then can prevent you; it is not, I hope, the dread of a refusal? That, I feel, I should never be able to pardon you. It is not one not to return you your letter. I wish more than you that it may no longer be necessary to me; but accustomed as I am to believe you so soft a disposition, it is in this letter only that I can find you such as you wish to appear. When I form the vow of endeavouring to make you sensible to my flame, I feel that you would fly a hundred leagues from me, rather than consent; when your accomplishments justify and augment my passion, it still tells me that it insults you; and when in your presence this passion is my supreme good, I feel that it is my greatest torment. You may now conceive that my greatest happiness would be to return you this fatal letter: to ask it again would give me a kind of authority to believe its contents. After this, I hope you will not doubt of my readiness to return it.
Begin by giving me more consideration, and please clarify what you want me to do; if I could figure it out myself, I would save you the effort of explaining. Along with the joy of seeing you, add the happiness of being able to serve you, and I will praise your kindness. So what is stopping you? I hope it's not the fear of a refusal. That, I know, I could never forgive. It’s not about not returning your letter. I wish more than you do that I no longer need it; but being used to believing you have such a gentle nature, I can only find you as you wish to appear in this letter. When I promise to make you aware of my feelings for you, I have a sense that you would run miles away from me rather than agree; when your qualities only deepen my love, it still feels like I’m bothering you; and when I’m with you, while this passion is my greatest joy, it also becomes my biggest pain. You can now understand that my greatest happiness would be to return this troubling letter: asking for it back would give me a sort of justification to believe what it says. After this, I hope you won't doubt my willingness to return it.
Aug. 21, 17—.
Aug. 21, 17—.
LETTER XXXVI.
VISCOUNT VALMONT to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
VISCOUNT VALMONT to the President DE TOURVEL.
(Post mark from Dijon.)
Postmark from Dijon.
Your severity, Madam, increases daily; and permit me to say, you seem to dread more being indulgent than unjust. After passing judgment on me without giving me a hearing, you must certainly be sensible it was less difficult not to read my reasons than to answer them. You obstinately refuse to receive my letters; you return them contemptuously; and you force me to use artifice at the very instant that my sole object is to convince you of my integrity. The obligation you lay me under of defending myself, will, I hope, apologize for the means I am constrained to use. Moreover, as I am convinced, that to be justified in your mind, it will be sufficient that the sincerity of my sentiments should be laid open to you, I thought this innocent stratagem might be forgiven. I will, then, dare hope that you will forgive it; and that you will not be much surprised that love is more industrious to show itself than indifference is to banish it.
Your strictness, Madam, gets more intense every day; and I must say, it seems like you're more afraid of being lenient than unfair. After you've judged me without hearing my side, you must realize that it was easier for you to avoid reading my reasons than to address them. You stubbornly reject my letters; you send them back with disdain; and you force me to resort to trickery when all I want is to prove my honesty to you. The need to defend myself, I hope, will excuse the methods I’m forced to use. Also, since I believe that showing my true feelings will be enough to clarify things for you, I thought this harmless strategy might be forgiven. So, I hope you will overlook it; and it shouldn’t surprise you that love works harder to reveal itself than indifference does to push it away.
Permit me then, Madam, to lay my heart entirely open to you. It is yours, and it is but right you should know it.
Permit me then, Madam, to lay my heart completely bare to you. It belongs to you, and it's only fair that you should know it.
When I arrived at Madame de Rosemonde’s, I little imagined the fate that awaited me. I knew not you was here; and I must add with the sincerity that characterises me, had I known it, my repose would not have been disturbed: not but that I should have rendered that homage to your beauty it so justly requires; but being long accustomed to experience only desires, to surrender only to those where my hopes flattered success, I knew nothing of the torments of love. You was witness to the pressing instances of Madame de Rosemonde, to detain me some time. I had already spent one day with you: at length I acquiesced, or rather thought I acquiesced, to the pleasure so natural and reasonable, of paying a proper regard to so respectable a relation.
When I arrived at Madame de Rosemonde’s, I never imagined the fate that awaited me. I didn’t know you were here; and I must honestly say, had I known, my peace would not have been disturbed: not that I wouldn’t have shown the admiration your beauty rightfully deserves; but since I was used to only experiencing desires, surrendering only to those that gave me hopes of success, I knew nothing of the torments of love. You witnessed Madame de Rosemonde's strong insistence to keep me there for a while. I had already spent one day with you; eventually, I agreed, or rather thought I agreed, to the perfectly reasonable pleasure of paying my respects to such a worthy relation.
The manner of living here undoubtedly differed widely from that I had been accustomed to; yet I perceived no difficulty in conforming to it, and without ever thinking of diving into the cause of so sudden a change, I attributed it solely to that easiness of temper, which, I believe, I have already mentioned to you.
The way of life here was definitely different from what I was used to; however, I found it easy to adapt, and without ever considering why such a sudden change had happened, I chalked it up to that laid-back attitude, which I think I’ve already told you about.
Unfortunately (but why must it be a misfortune?) knowing you more, I soon discovered that that enchanting form, which alone had raised my admiration, was the smallest of your attractions; your celestial soul astonished and seduced mine; I admired your beauty, but adored your virtue. Without a thought of obtaining you, I was resolved to deserve you; seeing your indulgence for my past follies, I was ambitious to merit your approbation for the future.
Unfortunately (but why must it be a misfortune?), getting to know you better, I quickly realized that the captivating appearance that first caught my admiration was just the least of your appealing qualities; your heavenly spirit amazed and charmed me. I admired your beauty but truly cherished your goodness. With no thought of actually winning you over, I was determined to deserve you; noticing your kindness towards my past mistakes, I was eager to earn your approval in the future.
I sought it in your conversation, I watched for it in your looks; in those looks which diffused a poison so much more dangerous, as it spread without design, and was received without diffidence.
I looked for it in your conversations, I observed it in your expressions; in those expressions that spread a poison much more dangerous, as it spread unintentionally and was accepted without hesitation.
Then I knew what was love; but far from complaining, resolved to bury it in eternal silence. I gave way without dread or reserve to this most delicious sentiment. Each day augmented its power; and soon the pleasure of seeing you became a necessity. Were you absent a moment, my heart was oppressed; at the noise of your approach it fluttered with joy. I no longer existed but by you and for you; and yet I call on yourself to witness, if ever in the gaiety of rural amusements, or in the more serious conversations, a word ever escaped from me that could betray the secret of my heart.
Then I understood what love was; but instead of complaining, I decided to keep it hidden in eternal silence. I embraced this wonderful feeling without fear or hesitation. Each day made it stronger; soon, just seeing you became a necessity. When you were away, my heart ached; at the sound of your approach, it leaped with joy. I existed only for you and through you; yet I ask you to witness if, during joyful moments or serious conversations, I ever let slip a word that could reveal the secrets of my heart.
At length the day arrived which gave birth to my misfortune; and by an inconceivable fatality, a worthy action gave the signal. Yes, Madam, it was in the midst of the poor wretches I had delivered, that giving way to that precious sensibility that embellishes beauty itself, and enhances virtue, you led a heart astray which was already too much intoxicated by love.
At last, the day came that marked the start of my misfortune; and through an unimaginable twist of fate, a good deed set it all in motion. Yes, Madam, it was among the unfortunate souls I had helped, that, yielding to that precious sensitivity that enhances beauty itself and elevates virtue, you misled a heart that was already too overwhelmed by love.
You may, perhaps, recollect, what a gloom spread over me at my return. Alas, I was totally employed in combating a passion which I found was overpowering me!
You might remember the gloom that fell over me when I got back. Unfortunately, I was completely focused on fighting a passion that I realized was taking over!
It was after having exhausted all my strength and reason in this unequal combat, that an accident I could not have foreseen, left us alone; then I own I was overcome. My full heart could neither command my words or tears; but is it then a crime? And if it be one, is it not sufficiently punished by the racking torments to which I am devoted?
It was only after I had used up all my strength and logic in this unfair fight that an unexpected event left us alone; at that point, I admit I was defeated. My overwhelmed heart could neither control my words nor my tears; but is that really a crime? And if it is, isn't the torture I'm enduring punishment enough?
Consumed by a hopeless love, I implore your pity, and you return me hate: no other happiness in view but that of gazing on you, my unconscious eyes seek you, and I tremble to meet your looks. In the deplorable state to which you have reduced me, I pass my days in concealing my sorrows, and my nights in cherishing them; whilst you, tranquil and peaceful, only know them by having been the cause, and enjoying it; and yet it is you that complain, and I excuse myself.
Consumed by a hopeless love, I plead for your pity, and you respond with hate: my only happiness is in looking at you. My unaware eyes search for you, and I tremble at the thought of meeting your gaze. In the miserable state you've put me in, I spend my days hiding my pain and my nights holding onto it; meanwhile, you, calm and at peace, know my heartache only because you caused it and take pleasure in it; yet it's you who complain, while I make excuses for myself.
This is, notwithstanding, a true recital of what you call injuries, which rather deserve to be called misfortunes. A pure and sincere love, a profound respect, and an entire submission, are the sentiments with which you have inspired me. I should not dread to present such homage even to the Divinity. Oh thou, who art one of his most beautiful works, imitate his mercy, think on my cruel torments; above all, think that as you have put me between the supremest felicity and despair, the first word you pronounce will for ever decide my fate!
This is, however, a true account of what you call injuries, which are better described as misfortunes. A genuine and honest love, deep respect, and total devotion are the feelings you've inspired in me. I wouldn't hesitate to offer such admiration even to God. Oh you, who are one of His greatest creations, replicate His mercy, consider my intense suffering; above all, remember that since you have placed me between the highest happiness and despair, the first word you say will ultimately determine my fate!
Aug. 23 ,17—.
Aug. 23, 17—.
LETTER XXXVII.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE VOLANGES.
The President DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE VOLANGES.
I submit, Madam, to the sympathetic voice of friendship. Long accustomed to have a deference to your advice, I am led to believe it always founded in reason. I will even acknowledge that Mr. de Valmont must be exceedingly dangerous indeed, if he can assume the character he puts on here, and be the man you represent him. However, since you require it, I will do all in my power to remove him hence if possible; for it often happens that things, very simple in themselves, become extremely embarrassing through forms.
I submit, Madam, to the caring voice of friendship. Having often respected your advice, I’m inclined to think it’s always based in reason. I’ll even admit that Mr. de Valmont must be incredibly dangerous if he can take on the persona he displays here and be the man you say he is. However, since you insist, I will do everything I can to get rid of him if possible; because it often happens that things that are very simple become extremely complicated because of procedures.
It appears, however, totally impracticable to make this requisition to his aunt; it would be equally revolting to both. I would not, without great reluctance, even determine to quit this place; for besides the reasons I already wrote you relative to Mr. de Tourvel, if my departure should be contrary to Mr. de Valmont’s wishes, as is not impossible, could he not readily follow me to Paris? And his return, of which I should be, or, at least, appear to be, the object, would it not seem much more extraordinary than an accidental meeting in the country, at a lady’s who is known to be his relation, and my particular friend?
It seems completely unfeasible to ask his aunt for this; it would be upsetting for both of us. I wouldn’t want to leave this place without a lot of hesitation; aside from the reasons I’ve already mentioned about Mr. de Tourvel, if my leaving were against Mr. de Valmont’s wishes, which isn’t impossible, wouldn’t he easily follow me to Paris? And his return, which I would be, or at least seem to be, the reason for, wouldn’t it look a lot stranger than a random encounter in the countryside at a lady’s house who is known to be his relative, and a good friend of mine?
I have, then, no other resource left but to prevail on him to leave this place. I am aware of the difficulties I have to encounter in such a proposal; yet as he seems to make it a point to convince me, that he is not the unprincipled character he has been represented to me, I hope to succeed. I shall even be glad of an opportunity to be satisfied whether (to use his own words) the truly virtuous females ever had, or ever will have occasion to complain of his conduct. If he goes, as I hope he will, it will certainly be in deference to my request; for I have no manner of doubt of his intention to spend a great part of the autumn here; but if, on the contrary, he should obstinately refuse me, it will be time enough for me to depart, which I promise you I will do.
I have no choice but to persuade him to leave this place. I know there will be challenges with such a request; however, since he seems intent on proving to me that he isn't the unprincipled person he's been portrayed as, I remain hopeful. I would even welcome the chance to see if, as he claims, truly virtuous women have ever had or will ever have reason to complain about him. If he does leave, which I hope he will, it will definitely be in response to my request; I have no doubt that he plans to spend most of the autumn here. But if he stubbornly refuses, then I will leave, and I promise I will.
This I believe, Madam, is all your friendship requires of me: I shall eagerly gratify it, and convince you, that notwithstanding the warmth with which I have defended Mr. de Valmont, I am nevertheless disposed not only to hear, but also to follow the advice of my friends.
This I believe, Madam, is all your friendship needs from me: I will gladly fulfill it and show you that despite the enthusiasm with which I have defended Mr. de Valmont, I am still willing not only to listen, but also to act on the advice of my friends.
From ——, Aug. 25, 17—.
From ——, Aug. 25, 17—.
LETTER XXXVIII.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to VISCOUNT VALMONT.
The Marchioness de Merteuil to Viscount Valmont.
My dear Viscount, I this moment received your enormous packet. If the date is right, I should have had it twenty-four hours sooner; however, was I to take the time to read it, I should not have any to answer it; therefore, I prefer owning its receipt, and let us chat on other matters. It is not that I have any thing to say relative to myself; for the autumn has left nothing in Paris scarce that bears the human form, and for this month past, my prudence and discretion are truly amazing; any other than my Chevalier would be tired out with my constancy. Having no other amusement, I divert myself with the little Volanges, who shall be the subject of this epistle.
My dear Viscount, I just received your huge packet. If the date is correct, it should have arrived twenty-four hours earlier. However, if I spend time reading it, I won’t have any time to respond, so I prefer to acknowledge its receipt and let’s talk about other things. It’s not that I have anything to say about myself; the autumn has left almost no people in Paris, and for the past month, my caution and self-control have been quite remarkable; anyone other than my Chevalier would be exhausted by my consistency. With no other entertainment, I keep myself busy with little Volanges, who will be the subject of this letter.
Do you know you have lost more than you can imagine, in not taking this child under your tuition? She is really delightful; she has neither disposition or motive; you may then guess her conversation is mild and easy. I do not think she will ever shine in the sentimental line; but every thing announces the most lively sensations. Without wit or artifice, she has, notwithstanding, a certain kind of natural duplicity, if one may speak so, which sometimes astonishes me, and will be much more successful, as her figure exhibits the picture of candour and openness. She is naturally very caressing, and she sometimes entertains me: her imagination is surprisingly lively; and she is the more agreeable, as she is totally ignorant, and longs to know every thing. Sometimes she takes fits of impatience that are truly comic; she laughs, she frets, she cries, and then begs of me to instruct her, with a most seducing innocence. I am almost jealous of whoever that pleasure is reserved for.
Do you realize how much you've missed out on by not taking this child under your wing? She's really delightful; she has no bad moods or hidden agendas, so you can imagine her conversation is pleasant and easygoing. I don't think she'll ever excel in the sentimental department, but everything about her expresses the most vibrant emotions. Without any cleverness or deceit, she has, despite everything, a certain kind of natural duplicity, if you can call it that, which sometimes surprises me, and will be much more effective given that her appearance shows sincerity and openness. She's naturally very affectionate, and she sometimes entertains me: her imagination is incredibly lively; and she’s even more charming since she’s completely clueless and eager to learn everything. Occasionally, she has these truly funny fits of impatience; she laughs, she pouts, she cries, and then asks me to teach her with an irresistibly innocent look. I almost feel jealous of whoever gets to enjoy that.
I do not know whether I wrote you, that for four or five days past I had the honour to be her confident. You may guess at first I affected an appearance of severity; but when I observe that she imagined I was convinced with her bad reasons, I let them pass current; and she is fully persuaded it is entirely owing to her eloquence: this precaution was necessary, lest I should be exposed. I gave her leave to write and say, I love; and the same day, without her having any suspicion, I contrived a tête-à-tête for her with her Danceny. But only think, he is such a fool, he has not yet obtained a single kiss from her. However, the boy makes pretty verses. Lord, what stupid creatures those wits are! He is so much so, that he makes me uneasy; for I am resolved not to have any thing to do with him.
I’m not sure if I’ve told you, but for the past four or five days, I’ve had the honor of being her confidant. You can guess that at first, I pretended to be serious; but when I noticed she thought I was convinced by her weak excuses, I let them slide, and now she’s completely convinced it’s all due to her charm. I had to do this to protect myself. I allowed her to write and say, I love; and on the same day, without her suspecting anything, I set up a private meeting for her with Danceny. But just think, he’s such a fool, he hasn’t even gotten a single kiss from her yet. Still, the kid can write nice poetry. Honestly, what silly people those writers are! He’s so frustrating that it makes me uneasy since I’ve decided to stay out of his business.
Now is the time you might be very useful to me. You are enough acquainted with Danceny to gain his confidence; and if he once gave it you, we should go on at a great rate. Make haste with your Presidente, for I am determined Gercourt shall not escape. I spoke to the little thing yesterday about him, and painted him in such colours, that she could not hate him more were she married to him for ten years. However, I gave her a long lesson on conjugal fidelity; nothing is equal to my severity on this point. By this means I establish my reputation for virtue, which too great a condescension might destroy; and increase the hatred with which I mean to gratify her husband. And, lastly, I hope, by making her think it is not lawful to indulge in a love matter only during the short time she is unmarried, she will come to a decision more expeditiously to lose no time.
Now is the time you could be really helpful to me. You know Danceny well enough to gain his trust, and if he gives it to you, we can move forward quickly. Hurry up with your Presidente, because I’m determined Gercourt will not get away. I talked to the little thing yesterday about him and painted such a picture that she couldn’t hate him more if she were married to him for ten years. Still, I gave her a long lesson on loyalty in marriage; nothing matches my strictness on this subject. This way, I build my reputation for virtue, which too much kindness could ruin, and I increase the hatred I intend to direct toward her husband. And finally, I hope that by making her think it’s not right to engage in a love affair only while she’s unmarried, she’ll make a quicker decision to act without delay.
Adieu, Viscount! I shall read your volume at my toilette.
Goodbye, Viscount! I'll read your book while getting ready.
Aug. 27, 17—.
Aug. 27, 2017—.
LETTER XXXIX.
CECILIA VOLANGES to SOPHIA CARNAY.
CECILIA VOLANGES to SOPHIA CARNAY.
My dear Sophia, I am very melancholy and uneasy. I have wept almost the whole night. Not but that at present I am very happy; but I foresee it will not last long.
My dear Sophia, I’m feeling really down and anxious. I cried almost all night. It’s true that I’m happy right now, but I know it won’t last for long.
I was at the opera last night with Madame de Merteuil; we chatted a good deal of my match; I am not much pleased with the husband she announces to me. She tells me I am to be married next October, to the Count de Gercourt: he is of a noble family, rich, and colonel of the regiment of ——; that is all very well. But, on the other hand, he is old—he is almost six and thirty. Madame de Merteuil says he is morose and ill-tempered; and she dreads much I shall not be happy with him. I even perceived plainly she spoke as if she was certain of it, though she would not speak out, for fear of giving me uneasiness. She dwelt almost the whole evening on the duties of wives to their husbands: she acknowledges Mr. de Gercourt is not at all amiable, and yet, she says, I must love him. She has even told me that when I am married, I must not love Chevalier Danceny, as if that was in my power! I assure you I shall ever love him; or rather would never be married at all. Let Mr. de Gercourt take the consequence—he is not the man of my choice. He is now in Corsica—a great distance. I wish with all my heart he may stay there these ten years. If I was not afraid of being sent back to the convent, I would tell mamma that he is not agreeable to me; but to do that might be still worse. I don’t know how to act. I never loved Mr. de Danceny as much as I do now; and when I think I have only one month more to be as I am, the tears burst into my eyes immediately. I have no consolation but in Madame de Merteuil’s friendship; she is so tender hearted, she unites with me in all my sorrows; and then she is so amiable, that when I am in her company, I think no more of them; besides, she is very useful to me, for she has taught me what little I know; and she is so good natured, I can tell her every thing I think of, without being at all ashamed. When she thinks it not right, she sometimes chides me, but always very gently: whenever that happens I spare no endeavours to appease her. She, at least, I may love as much as I will, and there is no harm in that; which gives me great pleasure. However, we have agreed that I must not appear so fond of her before every one, and especially before mamma, lest she should entertain any suspicion on the score of the Chevalier Danceny. I assure you, if I could always live as I now do, I should think myself very happy. Nothing torments me but this horrid Gercourt! But I shall say no more of him: I find if I did, I should be melancholy. I will go write to Chevalier Danceny, and will only talk to him of my love, and will not touch any subject that may distress him.
I was at the opera last night with Madame de Merteuil; we talked a lot about my upcoming marriage, but I'm not too excited about the husband she mentioned. She says I’ll be marrying the Count de Gercourt next October: he comes from a noble family, is wealthy, and is a colonel in the regiment of ——; that sounds good. But on the downside, he’s old—almost thirty-six. Madame de Merteuil mentions he’s gloomy and bad-tempered, and she fears I won’t be happy with him. I could tell she was saying it with a sense of certainty, even though she didn’t want to worry me. She spent most of the evening discussing the responsibilities wives have towards their husbands: she admits that Mr. de Gercourt isn’t charming, but insists I need to love him. She even told me that once I’m married, I mustn’t love Chevalier Danceny, as if that were up to me! I’ll definitely love him forever; or I’d rather not get married at all. Let Mr. de Gercourt deal with the consequences—he’s not the one I want. He’s currently in Corsica—a long way off. I sincerely hope he stays there for ten more years. If I weren’t worried about being sent back to the convent, I’d tell Mom that I don’t like him; but doing that might be even worse. I’m not sure what to do. I've never loved Mr. de Danceny as much as I do now, and just thinking that I have only one month left to be as I am brings me to tears. My only comfort comes from Madame de Merteuil’s friendship; she’s so compassionate and shares in all my troubles; and she’s so delightful that when I'm with her, I forget all my worries; plus, she’s been really helpful, teaching me everything I know; and she’s so easygoing that I can share all my thoughts with her without feeling embarrassed. If she thinks I'm wrong, she’ll gently scold me, but I always do my best to make it up to her. She’s someone I can love as much as I want, and that brings me a lot of joy. However, we’ve agreed that I shouldn’t seem too attached to her in front of others, especially Mom, so she doesn’t get any ideas about my feelings for Chevalier Danceny. I swear, if I could live this way forever, I would be very happy. The only thing that bothers me is this awful Gercourt! But I won't talk about him anymore; if I do, I’ll only feel sad. I’ll go write to Chevalier Danceny and will only express my love for him, avoiding any topics that might upset him.
Adieu, my dear friend. You now find you are wrong in complaining of my silence; and that notwithstanding the busy life I lead, as you call it, I have still time to love and write to you.[1]
Goodbye, my dear friend. You’re realizing that you were wrong to complain about my silence; and that despite the busy life I lead, as you put it, I still have time to love you and write to you.[1]
Aug. 27, 17—.
Aug. 27, 17—.
LETTER XL.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
The VALMONT VISCOUNT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
My inhuman mistress not content with declining an answer to my letters, and even refusing to receive them, she endeavours to deprive me of the pleasure of seeing her, and insists I should quit this place. What will surprise you more is, that I have acquiesced in every thing. You will, no doubt, blame me. Yet I thought I should not let slip the opportunity of receiving her commands; being, on the one hand, convinced, that whosoever commands is responsible, and on the other, that the imaginary air of authority we give the women, is the most difficult snare for them to escape: besides, the precautions she has taken not to be with me alone, put me in a very dangerous situation, which I thought it prudent to be extricated from at all events: for being incessantly with her, without being able to direct her attention to the subject of love, it was the more to be dreaded she would become accustomed to see me with indifference—a disposition of mind which you very well know is seldom overcome.
My unfeeling mistress, not satisfied with ignoring my letters and even refusing to receive them, is trying to take away my pleasure of seeing her and insists that I leave this place. What might surprise you even more is that I have gone along with everything. You will undoubtedly criticize me. However, I didn’t want to miss the chance to carry out her wishes; on one hand, I believe that anyone who gives orders is responsible, and on the other, that the imagined authority we grant to women is the hardest trap for them to escape. Moreover, the measures she’s taken to avoid being alone with me put me in a very risky position, which I thought was best to get out of at all costs. Since being constantly with her without being able to steer her attention towards love was even more concerning that she would get used to seeing me indifferently—a mindset that, as you well know, is rarely overcome.
You may judge I did not acquiesce without making conditions. I even took care to stipulate for one impossible to be performed; not only that I may be at liberty to keep or break my word, but engage in a discussion, either verbally or in writing, whenever my fair one might be more satisfied with me, or feel the necessity of relaxing. I should have ill managed indeed, if I did not obtain an equivalent for giving up my pretensions, though they are not of a justifiable nature.
You can tell I didn't agree without setting some conditions. I even made sure to include one that was impossible to fulfill; not only to have the freedom to keep or break my promise, but to be able to have a discussion, either in person or in writing, whenever my beloved felt more satisfied with me or needed a break. It would have been a poor decision if I didn't get something in return for giving up my claims, even if they weren't justified.
Having laid before you my reasons in this long exordium, I begin the history of the two last days. I shall annex, as proofs, my fair one’s letter with my answer. You will agree with me few historians are more exact than I am.
Having shared my reasons in this long introduction, I will now start the story of the last two days. I will include, as evidence, my lovely one’s letter along with my response. You’ll agree with me that few historians are more accurate than I am.
You may recollect the effect my letter from Dijon had the day before yesterday. The remainder of that day was rather tempestuous. The pretty prude did not make her appearance until dinner was on the table, and informed us she had got a bad head-ach; a pretence for concealing the most violent ill humour that ever possessed woman. Her countenance was totally altered; the enchanting softness of her tone was changed to a moroseness that added new beauty to her. I shall make a good use of this discovery in future; and convert the tender mistress into the passionate one.
You might remember the impact my letter from Dijon had the day before yesterday. The rest of that day was quite stormy. The lovely prude didn’t show up until dinner was on the table and told us she had a bad headache; a cover for the most intense bad mood a woman could have. Her expression was completely different; the charming softness in her voice shifted to an attitude that made her even more beautiful. I plan to make good use of this discovery in the future and transform the sweet mistress into the passionate one.
I foresaw the evening would be dull; to avoid which, I pretended to have letters to write, and retired to my apartment. I returned about six to the Saloon; Madame de Rosemonde proposed an airing, which was agreed to. But the instant the carriage was ready, the pretended sick lady, by an act of infernal malice, pretended, in her turn, or, perhaps to be revenged of me for my absence, feigned her head-ach much worse, and forced me to undergo a tête-à-tête with my old aunt. I don’t know whether my imprecations against this female demon had their effect; but she was in bed at our return.
I predicted that the evening would be boring, so to avoid that, I pretended I had letters to write and went to my room. I came back to the Saloon around six, and Madame de Rosemonde suggested we go for a drive, which we all agreed on. But as soon as the carriage was ready, the supposedly sick lady, in a cruel twist, either to get back at me for being away or just out of spite, acted like her headache was much worse, forcing me to endure a one-on-one with my old aunt. I’m not sure if my curses against this wicked woman had any effect, but she was in bed when we returned.
Next morning, at breakfast, she was no more the same woman: her natural sweetness had returned, and I had reason to think my pardon sealed. Breakfast being over, the lovely woman arose with an easy air, and walked towards the park; I soon followed her, as you may imagine. “Whence arises this inclination for a walk?” said I, accosting her. “I have wrote a great deal this morning,” she replied, “and my head is a little fatigued.”—“I am not so happy,” replied I, “as to have to reproach myself with being the cause of that fatigue.”—“I have wrote you,” said she, “but I hesitate to deliver my letter:—it contains a request, and I fear I must not flatter myself with success.”—“I swear if it be possible.”—“Nothing more easy,” replied she; “and though perhaps you ought to grant it from a motive of justice, I will consent even to obtaining it as a favour.” She then delivered me her letter, which I took, as also her hand, which she drew back, without anger, and more confusion than vivacity. “The heat is more intense than I imagined,” said she; “I must return.” In vain did I strive to persuade her to continue our walk;—she returned to the Castle;—and were it not for the dread of being seen, I would have used other means as well as my eloquence. She returned without uttering a syllable; and I plainly saw this pretended walk had no other object than to deliver me her letter. She retired to her apartment, and I to mine, to read her epistle. I beg you will read that, and my answer, before you go farther.
The next morning, at breakfast, she was no longer the same woman: her natural sweetness had returned, and I believed my forgiveness was assured. Once breakfast was over, the beautiful woman got up casually and headed towards the park; I quickly followed her, as you can imagine. “What brings you out for a walk?” I asked her. “I’ve been writing a lot this morning,” she replied, “and my head feels a bit tired.” — “I’m not so lucky as to be the reason for that fatigue,” I said. — “I’ve written to you,” she said, “but I hesitate to give you my letter: it contains a request, and I’m afraid I shouldn’t get my hopes up.” — “I swear it will be possible.” — “Nothing easier,” she replied; “and although you should probably grant it out of fairness, I’d even accept it as a favor.” She then handed me her letter, which I took, along with her hand, which she pulled back, not out of anger, but more out of embarrassment than liveliness. “It’s hotter than I expected,” she said; “I need to go back.” I tried in vain to convince her to keep walking; she returned to the Castle; and if I hadn’t feared being seen, I would have tried other methods in addition to my words. She walked back without saying a word; and it was clear to me that this so-called walk was solely to give me her letter. She retreated to her room, and I went to mine to read her letter. I urge you to read that, as well as my response, before you continue.
LETTER XLI.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to VISCOUNT VALMONT.
The President DE TOURVEL to Viscount VALMONT.
Your behaviour towards me, Sir, has the appearance of your seeking opportunities to give me more reason to complain of your conduct than I hitherto have had. Your obstinacy in teasing me incessantly with a subject that I neither will or ought to attend to; the ill use you have made of my candour, or timidity, to convey your letters to me; but, above all, the indelicate manner you imagined to hand me the last, without having paid the least attention to the consequences of a surprise which might have exposed me, would authorise me to reproach you in terms as severe as merited. But I am inclined, instead of renewing my complaint, to bury all in oblivion, provided you agree to a request as simple as it is just.
Your behavior towards me, Sir, seems like you’re trying to give me more reasons to complain about you than I already have. Your relentless teasing about a topic I don’t want to deal with; the way you’ve taken advantage of my openness or hesitance to send your letters to me; but most of all, the inappropriate way you handed me the last one without considering the impact of surprising me, which could have put me in a difficult position, would justify me in criticizing you as harshly as you deserve. However, instead of bringing up my complaints again, I’d rather move on and forget everything if you agree to a request that is as simple as it is fair.
You yourself have told me, Sir, I ought not to apprehend a denial; although, from an inconsistency which is peculiar to you, this phrase was even followed by the only refusal you had in your power to give,[1] I am still disposed to think you will, on this occasion, keep a promise you so formally and so lately made.
You’ve told me, Sir, that I shouldn’t worry about a denial; however, due to your unique inconsistency, this statement was actually followed by the only refusal you could give,[1] I still believe that this time, you will honor the promise you made so formally and recently.
I require, therefore, you would retire from hence, and leave me, as your residence here any longer will expose me to the censure of the public, which is ever ready to paint things in the worst colours, and a public whom you have long habituated to watching such women as have admitted you into their society.
I need you to leave here and let me be, because staying any longer will put me under public scrutiny. People are quick to judge and twist things to make them look bad, and you’ve gotten the public used to seeing women who have let you into their lives.
Though my friends have for some time given me notice of this danger, I did not pay proper attention to it; I even combated their advice whilst your behaviour to me gave me reason to think you did not confound me with the crowd of women who have reason to lament their acquaintance with you. Now that you treat me in the same manner, and that I can no longer mistake, it is a duty I owe to the public, my friends, and myself, to take the necessary resolution. I might also add, that a denial would avail little, as I am determined, in case of a refusal, to leave this place immediately.
Though my friends have warned me about this danger for a while now, I didn’t take it seriously; I even pushed back against their advice while your behavior made me think you didn't see me as just another woman who regrets knowing you. Now that you’re treating me the same way, and it’s clear I can’t ignore it anymore, I owe it to the public, my friends, and myself to make the necessary decision. I should also mention that denying it wouldn’t help much, since I’m set on leaving this place immediately if I don’t get a positive response.
I do not seek to lessen the obligation your complaisance will lay me under; and will not conceal from you, that if you lay me under the necessity of leaving this, you will put me to inconvenience. Convince me then, Sir, as you have often told me, that a woman of virtue will never have reason to complain of you: show me, at least, that if you have ill treated such a woman, you are disposed to atone for the injury you have done her.
I don't want to downplay the obligation your kindness puts on me, and I won’t hide the fact that if you force me to leave this place, it will cause me some trouble. So convince me, Sir, as you have often said, that a woman of virtue will never have a reason to complain about you. Show me, at the very least, that if you have mistreated such a woman, you are willing to make it right for the harm you’ve caused her.
Did I think my request required any justification in your sight, it would be enough, I think, to tell you the whole conduct of your life makes it necessary; it is not my fault a reformation has not taken place. But I will not recall events that I wish to forget, and which would lead me to pass a severe sentence on you at the time I am offering you an opportunity of deserving my utmost gratitude. Farewell, Sir. Your determination will tell me in what light I am to behold you for life.
Did I think my request needed any justification in your eyes, I believe it would be sufficient to say that the way you've lived your life makes it necessary; it's not my fault a change hasn't happened. But I won’t bring up the events I want to forget, and which would make me judge you harshly at a moment when I'm giving you a chance to earn my deepest gratitude. Goodbye, Sir. Your choice will determine how I view you for the rest of my life.
Your most humble, &c.
Aug. 25, 17—.
Your humble servant, &c.
Aug. 25, 17—.
[1] See Letter the 35th.
LETTER XLII.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
Viscount de Valmont to the President de Tourvel.
Though the conditions you impose on me, Madam, are severe indeed, I shall not refuse to comply; for I perceive it is impossible for me to oppose any of your wishes. As we are agreed on this point, I dare flatter myself that, in return, you will permit me to make some requests, much easier to be granted than yours, and which, notwithstanding, I don’t wish to obtain but through a perfect resignation to your will.
Though the demands you place on me, Madam, are quite harsh, I won't resist complying; I realize it’s impossible for me to deny any of your wishes. Since we’re on the same page about this, I like to think that, in return, you’ll allow me to make some requests that are much simpler to grant than yours, and yet, I don’t intend to ask for them except through a complete acceptance of your will.
The one, which I hope your justice will suggest, is, to name my accusers; I think the injury they have done me authorises me to demand who they are: the other request, for which I crave your indulgence, is, to permit me sometimes to renew the homage of a passion, which now, more than ever, will deserve your pity.
The one thing I hope your sense of justice will suggest is to name my accusers; I believe the harm they have caused me gives me the right to ask who they are. The other request I ask for your understanding is to allow me to occasionally express my feelings of a passion that, now more than ever, deserves your sympathy.
Reflect, Madam, that I am earnest to obey you, even at the expence of my happiness; I will go farther, notwithstanding my conviction, that you only wish my absence to rid you of the painful sight of the victim of your injustice.
Reflect, Madam, that I am serious about obeying you, even if it means sacrificing my happiness; I will go further, despite my belief that you only want me gone to avoid seeing the painful reminder of your injustice.
Be ingenuous, Madam; you dread less the public censure, too long used to reverence you, to dare to harbour a disadvantageous opinion of you, than to be made uneasy by the presence of a man, whom it is easier to punish than to blame. You banish me on the same principle that people turn their eyes from the miserable wretches they do not choose to relieve.
Be honest, Madam; you worry less about what people might say about you, since they have long respected you to even consider having a negative opinion of you, than being uncomfortable with the presence of a man who is easier to punish than to criticize. You send me away for the same reason people look away from the unfortunate souls they don’t want to help.
And then absence will redouble my torments; to whom but you can I relate my grievances? From what other person am I to expect that consolation, which will become so necessary in my affliction? Will you, who are the cause, refuse me that consolation?
And then being apart will only intensify my suffering; who else can I share my troubles with? Who can I expect to provide the comfort that I will need so much in my distress? Will you, the one responsible, deny me that comfort?
Be not surprised, neither that before my departure, I should endeavour to justify my sentiments for you, nor that I shall not have the resolution to set out, until I receive the order from your own mouth.
Don't be surprised that before I leave, I want to explain my feelings for you, nor that I won't have the courage to go until I hear it directly from you.
Those reasons oblige me to request a moment’s interview. It would be in vain to think that a correspondence by letter would answer the end. Volumes often cannot explain what a quarter of an hour’s conversation will do. You will readily find time to grant me this favour; for, notwithstanding my eagerness to obey you, as Madame de Rosemonde is well apprised of my design to spend a part of the autumn with her, I must, at all events, wait the return of the post, to pretend a letter of business obliging me to return.
Those reasons make me ask for a brief meeting. It would be pointless to think that a letter would suffice. Sometimes, conversations that last just a few minutes can express what pages of writing cannot. You’ll easily find the time to grant me this favor; because, despite my eagerness to follow your wishes, since Madame de Rosemonde knows about my plan to spend part of the autumn with her, I still have to wait for the post to come back so I can pretend that a business letter is forcing me to leave.
Farewell, Madam; never till now did I experience the force of this expression, which recalls to me the idea of my separation from you. If you could conceive how distressingly it affects me, my obedience would find me some favour in your sight. Receive, however, with more indulgence, the homage of the most tender and respectful passion.
Farewell, Madam; I've never truly understood the weight of this phrase until now, as it brings to mind the thought of being apart from you. If you knew how deeply it troubles me, I hope my dedication would earn some favor in your eyes. Nevertheless, please accept the sincere admiration of someone who feels the most tender and respectful passion.
Aug. 26,17—.
Aug. 26, 2017—.
Sequel to the Fortieth Letter.
From the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
From the VALMONT, VISCOUNT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Now, my lovely friend, let us discuss this affair a little. You readily conceive, that the virtuous, the scrupulous Madame de Tourvel, cannot grant the first of my requests—that of informing me who my accusers are, without a breach of friendship: thus, by promising every thing on that condition, I am not at all committed; and you must be very sensible, that the negative she must give me, will give me a title to all my other objects; so that, by leaving this place, I shall obtain the advantage of a regular correspondence, with her own consent; for I don’t set great value upon the interview that I ask, by which I mean no more than to accustom her beforehand not to refuse other personal applications to her, when I shall have real occasion for them.
Now, my dear friend, let’s talk about this situation a bit. You can easily see that the virtuous and cautious Madame de Tourvel can't tell me who my accusers are without compromising our friendship. So, by promising everything under that condition, I’m not really committing to anything; and you must realize that the answer she has to give me will open the door to all my other desires. Therefore, by leaving this place, I will be able to establish a regular correspondence, with her consent. I don’t value the meeting I’m asking for too highly—I'm just trying to make her used to the idea so that she won’t refuse other personal requests from me when I truly need them.
The only thing that remains to be done before my departure is, to know who are those that take the trouble to prejudice me in her opinion.
The only thing left to do before I leave is to find out who is trying to turn her against me.
I presume it is that pedantic scoundrel her husband; I wish it may; for, as a conjugal prohibition is a spur to desire, I should be certain that from the moment of gaining her consent to write to me, I should have nothing more to fear from the husband, because she would then find herself under the necessity of deceiving him.
I assume it's that pretentious jerk who’s her husband; I hope it is; because, since a marriage ban just makes someone want what they can’t have, I’d be confident that as soon as she agrees to write to me, I wouldn’t have to worry about the husband anymore, since she would then have to trick him.
And if she has a confidential friend, and that friend should be against me, I think it will be necessary to raise a cause of misunderstanding between them, in which I hope to succeed: but, in the first place, I must see my way clear.
And if she has a close friend, and that friend is against me, I think I’ll need to create some sort of misunderstanding between them, which I hope to pull off: but first, I need to figure out my plan.
I imagined yesterday I had attained that necessary preliminary; but this woman does not act like any other. We were in her apartment when dinner was announced. She had just time to finish her toilet; and from her hurry, and making apologies, I observed her leave the key in her bureau; and she always leaves the key in her chamber door. My mind was full of this during dinner. When I heard her waiting-maid coming down stairs, I instantly feigned a bleeding at the nose, and went out. I flew to the bureau, found all the drawers open, but not a single paper; yet there is no occasion to burn them, situated as she is. What can she do with the letters she receives? and she receives a great many. I left nothing unexamined; all was open, and I searched every where; so that I am convinced this precious deposit is confided only to her pocket.
I thought yesterday I had reached that necessary first step; but this woman is different from any other. We were at her place when dinner was announced. She had just enough time to finish getting ready; and in her rush, while apologizing, I saw her leave the key in her drawer; and she always leaves the key in her bedroom door. My mind was occupied with this during dinner. When I heard her maid coming down the stairs, I quickly pretended to have a nosebleed and went outside. I rushed to the drawer, found all the drawers open, but not a single piece of paper; yet there’s no need to burn them, given her situation. What can she do with the letters she gets? and she gets a lot. I left nothing unchecked; everything was open, and I searched everywhere; so I’m convinced this precious stash is only kept in her pocket.
How they are to be got at, my mind has been fruitlessly employed ever since yesterday in contriving means: I cannot conquer my inclination to gain possession of them. I often regret that I have not the talent of a pickpocket. Don’t you think it ought to be made a part of the education of a man of intrigue? Would it not be humorous enough to steal a letter or a portrait of a rival, or to extract from the pocket of a prude, materials to unmask her? But our forefathers had no ideas: it is in vain for me to rack my brains; for it only convinces me of my own inability, without furnishing me any remedy.
How to get hold of them has been bothering me ever since yesterday as I try to figure out a way: I can't shake my desire to possess them. I often wish I had the skills of a pickpocket. Don’t you think it should be part of a cunning person's education? Wouldn’t it be funny to steal a letter or a portrait from a rival, or to sneak materials out of a prude’s pocket to expose her? But our ancestors lacked imagination: it's useless for me to stress over this; it just proves my own limitations without providing any solutions.
I returned to dinner very dissatisfied: my fair one however brought me into good humour, by her anxious enquiries on my feigned indisposition: I did not fail to assure her that I had for some short time, violent agitations, which impaired my health. As she is persuaded the cause proceeded from her, ought she not in conscience endeavour to calm them? Although a devotee, she has very little charity; she refuses any compliance to supplications of love; and this refusal appears to me sufficient to authorise any theft to obtain the object. But adieu; for although I am writing to you, my mind is taken up with those cursed letters.
I came back to dinner feeling really unhappy, but my sweet companion cheered me up with her concerned questions about my fake illness. I made sure to tell her that I had been experiencing intense stress that affected my health. Since she believes the cause is her fault, shouldn’t she try to ease my discomfort? Even though she’s religious, she lacks compassion; she refuses to give in to any pleas for love, and this refusal seems enough to justify any desperate actions to get what I want. But enough of that; even though I’m writing to you, my mind is consumed with those annoying letters.
Aug. 27, 17—.
Aug. 27, 17—.
LETTER XLIII.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The President DE TOURVEL to the Valmont, the Viscount.
Why, Sir, do you endeavour at a diminution of my gratitude to you? Why obey me only by halves, and in some measure make a bargain of a simple, genteel act? It is not, then, sufficient that I am sensible of its value! You not only ask a great deal of me, but you demand what it is impossible to grant. If my friends have talked of you to me, they could only do so from regard for me: should they even be mistaken, their intention was not the less good; and yet you require that I should repay this proof of their esteem, by giving you up their names. I must own I have been very wrong in acquainting you of it; and I now feel it in a very sensible manner. What would have been only candour with any one else, becomes imprudence with you, and would be a crime was I to attend to your request. I appeal to yourself, to your honour; how could you think me capable of such a proceeding? Ought you even to have made me such a proposition? No, certainly; and I am sure, when you reflect, you will desist from this request.
Why, Sir, do you try to lessen my gratitude towards you? Why do you only partially obey me and turn a simple, polite action into a transaction? Isn’t it enough that I recognize its worth? Not only do you ask a lot from me, but you also demand something I simply can’t give. If my friends have mentioned you to me, they did it out of concern for me; even if they were wrong, their intentions were good. And yet you expect me to repay their kindness by revealing their names. I must admit I was wrong to tell you about this, and I feel it keenly now. What would have been straightforward with anyone else feels foolish with you, and it would be wrong to follow your request. I appeal to your sense of honor; how could you think I would do such a thing? Should you even have made such a suggestion? No, certainly not; I'm sure that when you think it over, you will withdraw this request.
The other you make of writing to me is little easier to grant; and if you will think a moment, you cannot in justice blame me. I do not mean to offend you; but after the character you have required, and which you yourself confess to have partly merited, what woman can avow holding a correspondence with you? And what virtuous woman could resolve to do that which she would be obliged to conceal?
The other way you suggest I write to you is a bit easier to agree to; and if you think about it for a moment, you can't fairly blame me. I don't intend to upset you; but given the reputation you've created for yourself, which you admit you partly deserve, what woman can openly say she communicates with you? And what respectable woman would decide to do something she would have to hide?
If I was even certain that your letters would be such as would give me no cause of discontent, and that I could always be conscious I was sufficiently justified in receiving them, then, perhaps, the desire of proving to you that reason, not hatred, guided me, would make me surmount those powerful considerations, and cause me to do what I ought not, in giving you sometimes permission to write to me; and if, indeed, you wish it as much as you express, you will readily submit to the only condition that can possibly make me consent to it: and if you have any gratitude for this condescension, you will not delay your departure a moment.
If I could be sure that your letters wouldn’t upset me, and that I could always feel justified in getting them, then maybe the urge to show you that I’m motivated by reason, not hatred, would push me past those strong feelings and lead me to do something I shouldn’t, like occasionally letting you write to me. And if you really want this as much as you say, you’ll easily agree to the only condition that could make me say yes: if you appreciate this favor, you won’t postpone your departure for even a moment.
Give me leave to make one observation on this occasion: you received a letter this morning, and you did not make use of that opportunity to acquaint Madame de Rosemonde of your intended departure as you promised me; I now hope that nothing will prevent you from keeping your word. I hope much that you will not wait for the interview you ask, which I absolutely will not agree to; and that, instead of the order that you pretend to be so necessary, you will be satisfied with my request, which I again renew to you. Farewell, Sir!
Give me a moment to share an observation: you got a letter this morning, and you didn’t use that chance to inform Madame de Rosemonde about your planned departure as you promised me. I really hope that nothing will stop you from fulfilling your word. I sincerely hope you won't wait for the meeting you’re asking for, which I definitely won’t agree to. Instead of the request that you claim is so urgent, I hope you’ll be satisfied with my request that I’m renewing again. Goodbye, Sir!
Aug. 27, 17—.
Aug. 27, 1717—.
LETTER XLIV.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Viscount de Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Share in my joy, my charming friend; I am loved; I have at length triumphed over that rebellious heart. In vain does she still dissemble; my happy address has discovered the secret. Thanks to my unremitting efforts, I know all that interests me: since last night, that propitious night, I am again myself; I have discovered a double mystery of love and iniquity; I shall enjoy the one, and be revenged of the other; I shall fly from pleasure to pleasure. The bare idea of it transports me almost beyond the bounds of prudence; and yet I shall have occasion for some of it, to enable me to put any proper order in my narrative; but let us try:
Share in my joy, my delightful friend; I am loved; I have finally conquered that defiant heart. She still tries to hide it in vain; my clever approach has revealed the truth. Thanks to my relentless efforts, I know everything that matters to me: since last night, that fortunate night, I am once again myself; I have uncovered a dual mystery of love and wrongdoing; I will enjoy one and seek revenge on the other; I will leap from joy to joy. Just the thought of it almost overwhelms my sense of caution; yet I will need some of that to make sense of my story; but let’s give it a shot:
Yesterday, after I had wrote my letter, I received one from the celestial devotee; I send it enclosed; you will observe she with less awkwardness than might be expected, gives me leave to write to her; yet presses my departure, which I well knew I could not defer without prejudice to myself. However, tempted by a curiosity to know who had wrote against me, I was still undetermined how to act. I attempted to bribe her chamber-maid, to induce her to give me her mistress’s pockets, which she could easily do at night, and replace them the next morning, without giving the least suspicion. I offered ten louis d’ors for this trifling service; but I found her a hesitating, scrupulous, or timid creature, whom neither my eloquence nor money could bring over. I was using farther solicitations, when the bell rung for supper. I was then obliged to break off; and thought myself very happy in obtaining from her a promise to keep my secret, on which, however, you may believe I placed little dependence.
Yesterday, after I wrote my letter, I received one from the celestial devotee; I'm sending it enclosed. You’ll notice she allows me to write to her with less awkwardness than I expected; yet she insists on my departure, which I knew I couldn’t delay without harming myself. However, tempted by curiosity to find out who had written against me, I was still unsure how to proceed. I tried to bribe her chambermaid to help me get into her mistress’s pockets, which she could easily do at night and replace by morning without raising suspicion. I offered her ten louis d’ors for this simple task, but I found her to be a hesitant, scrupulous, or timid person whom neither my persuasion nor money could convince. I was making further attempts when the bell rang for supper. I had to stop then and considered myself quite lucky to get her promise to keep my secret, though you can believe I had little faith in it.
I never was more out of humour. I found I had committed myself, and reproached myself much for the imprudent step I had taken.
I’ve never been in a worse mood. I realized I had put myself in a tough spot and blamed myself a lot for the unwise decision I had made.
After I retired in great anxiety, I spoke to my huntsman, who was entitled, as a successful lover, to some share of credit. I desired he would prevail on this girl to do what I required, or at least to insure secrecy: he, who in general makes no doubt of success in any thing he undertakes, appeared dubious of this negociation, and made a reflection, the depth of which astonished me: “You certainly know better than I can tell you, Sir,” said he, “that to kiss a girl is nothing more than to indulge her in a fancy of her own, and that, there is a wide difference often between that and making her act according to our wishes; and I have so much less dependence on her, as I have much reason to think she has another swain, and that I only owe my good fortune to her want of occupation in the country; and had it not been for my zeal for your service, Sir, I should not have sought it more than once (this lad is a treasure). As to the secret,” added he, “what purpose will it answer to make her promise, since she will risk nothing in deceiving us? To speak of it again, would only make her think it of greater importance, and make her more anxious to insinuate herself into her mistress’s favour, by divulging it.” The justness of these reflections added to my embarrassment. Fortunately the fellow was in a talking mood; and as I had occasion for him, I let him go on: while relating his adventures with this girl, he informed me the room she slept in was only separated from the apartment of her mistress by a single partition, and as the least noise would be heard, they met every night in his room. I instantly formed my plan, which I communicated to him, and we executed it successfully.
After I retired, feeling really anxious, I talked to my huntsman, who, as a successful lover, deserved some credit. I asked him to convince this girl to do what I needed or at least to keep it a secret. Usually, he’s confident about any task he takes on, but he seemed uncertain about this negotiation and made a surprising observation: “You definitely know better than I can tell you, Sir,” he said, “that kissing a girl is just indulging a whim of hers, and there’s often a big difference between that and getting her to do what we want. I trust her even less because I suspect she has another admirer, and my good luck has come from her being bored in the countryside. If it weren’t for my eagerness to help you, Sir, I wouldn’t have pursued this more than once (this guy is a gem). As for the secret,” he added, “what good will it do to make her promise? She has nothing to lose by lying to us. Bringing it up again will just make her think it’s more important and make her more eager to get back in her mistress’s good graces by spilling the beans.” His valid points made me feel even more uneasy. Luckily, he was in a chatty mood, and since I needed him, I let him continue. While sharing his experiences with this girl, he told me that her room was only separated from her mistress’s room by a thin wall, and any noise would be heard, so they met in his room every night. I quickly came up with a plan, shared it with him, and we pulled it off successfully.
I awaited until the clock struck two, and then, as was agreed, went to the rendezvous, with a lighted candle in my hand, and under pretence of having several times in vain rung the bell. My confidant, who plays his part to admiration, performed a little scene of surprise, despair, and confusion, which I put a stop to, by sending him to warm me some water, which I pretended to have occasion for; the scrupulous waiting-maid was the more disconcerted, as the fellow, who had improved on my scheme, had made her make a toilet very suitable to the heat of the season, but which it by no means apologised for.
I waited until the clock hit two, and then, as agreed, I went to the meeting spot with a lit candle in my hand, pretending that I had rung the bell several times without any response. My friend, who plays his role perfectly, performed a little act of surprise, despair, and confusion, which I interrupted by sending him to heat some water for me, which I pretended I needed; the overly cautious maid was even more thrown off because my friend, who had improved on my plan, had her dress in a way that was appropriate for the weather, but it certainly didn’t help her situation.
Being sensible the more this girl was humbled, the less trouble I should have to bring her to my designs, I did not suffer her to change either her situation or dress; and having ordered my servant to wait for me in my room, I sat by her bed-side, which was in much disorder, and began a conversation. It was necessary to keep the ascendant I had obtained, and I therefore preserved a sang froid that would have done honour to the continence of Scipio; and without taking the smallest liberty with her, which her ruddy countenance, and the opportunity, perhaps, gave her a right to hope; I talked to her of business with as much indifference, as I would have done with an attorney.
Being practical, I figured the more I kept this girl in a humble state, the less trouble I would have getting her to go along with my plans. I didn't let her change her situation or outfit. After telling my servant to wait for me in my room, I sat down by her bed, which was quite messy, and started a conversation. It was important for me to maintain the upper hand I had gained, so I kept my composure, showing a calmness that would have impressed even Scipio. Without taking any liberties that her rosy cheeks and the circumstance might have led her to expect, I spoke to her about business as casually as I would have with a lawyer.
My conditions were, that I would observe the strictest secrecy, provided the day following, at the same hour, she put me in possession of her mistress’s pockets, and my offer of ten louis-d’ors. I now confirm I will not take any advantage of your situation. Every thing was granted, as you may believe; I then retired, and left the happy couple to repair their lost time.
My conditions were that I would keep everything completely secret, as long as the next day, at the same hour, she gave me access to her mistress’s pockets and my offer of ten louis-d’ors. I can assure you that I won’t take advantage of your situation. Everything was agreed upon, as you can imagine; I then left and let the happy couple make up for lost time.
I employed mine in sleep: and in the morning, wanting a pretence not to answer my fair one’s letter before I had examined her papers, which could not be till the night following, I resolved to go a-hunting, which took up the greatest part of the day.
I used mine for sleeping: and in the morning, needing an excuse to avoid replying to my lovely lady’s letter before I had looked over her papers, which wouldn’t be until the next night, I decided to go hunting, which took up most of the day.
At my return I was received very coolly. I have reason to believe she was a little piqued at my want of eagerness to make good use of the time that remained, especially after the softer letter which she wrote me. I formed this conjecture, because, on Madame de Rosemonde’s having reproached me on my long absence, the fair one replied with some acrimony, “Oh, let us not reproach Mr. de Valmont for his attachment to the only pleasure he can find here.” I complained that they did not do me justice, and took the opportunity to assure them I was so well pleased with their company, that I sacrificed to it a very interesting letter that I had to write; adding, that not having been able to sleep several nights, I endeavoured to try if fatigue would not bring me my usual rest; my looks sufficiently explained the subject of my letter, and the cause of my want of rest. I took care to affect, during the whole evening, a melancholy softness, which succeeded tolerably well, and under which I disguised my impatience for the hour which was to give me up the secret she so obstinately persisted in concealing. At length we retired; and soon after the faithful waiting-maid brought me the stipulated price of my discretion: when in possession of this treasure, I proceeded with my usual prudence to arranging them; for it was of the utmost importance to replace every thing in order.
When I got back, I was received pretty coldly. I have reason to believe she was a bit annoyed at my lack of eagerness to make the most of the remaining time, especially after the warmer letter she sent me. I formed this idea because, when Madame de Rosemonde scolded me about my long absence, the lovely lady answered somewhat sharply, “Oh, let’s not blame Mr. de Valmont for being attached to the only enjoyment he can find here.” I complained that they weren't treating me fairly and took the chance to assure them I was so happy with their company that I sacrificed writing a very interesting letter. I added that since I hadn't been able to sleep for several nights, I was trying to see if fatigue would help me get my usual rest; my expression clearly showed what my letter was about and why I hadn’t been sleeping. I made sure to act with a sad softness throughout the evening, which worked reasonably well, hiding my impatience for the moment when I could uncover the secret she was so stubbornly keeping. Eventually, we retired; and soon after, the loyal maid brought me the promised reward for my discretion. Once I had this treasure, I carefully arranged it, as it was crucial to put everything back in order.
I first hit upon two letters from the husband, indigested stuff, a mixture of uninteresting details of law-suits, and unmeaning protestations of conjugal love, which I had the patience to read through; but not a syllable in either concerning me. I put them in their place with some disgust; but that vanished on finding, in my hand-writing, the scraps of my famous letter from Dijon, carefully collected. Fortunately it came into my head to run them over. You may guess the excess of my raptures, when I distinctly perceived the traces of my adorable devotee’s tears. I must own I gave way to a puerile emotion, and kissed this letter with a transport that I did not think myself susceptible of. I continued the happy search; I found all my letters in order according to their dates; and what still surprised me more agreeably was, to find the first of them, that which I thought had been returned to me by my ungrateful fair one, faithfully copied in her own hand-writing, but in an altered and trembling manner, which sufficiently testified the soft agitation of her heart during the time she was employed at it.
I first came across two letters from the husband, hard to get through, a mix of boring details about lawsuits and meaningless declarations of love that I managed to read, but neither mentioned me at all. I set them aside with some annoyance, but that faded when I found, in my own handwriting, the fragments of my famous letter from Dijon, carefully collected. Luckily, I decided to read through them. You can imagine my overwhelming joy when I clearly saw the marks of my dear devotee’s tears. I have to admit, I allowed myself a childish reaction and kissed this letter with a passion I didn’t know I could feel. I continued my joyful search; I found all my letters sorted by date, and what surprised me even more was discovering the first one, which I thought had been returned by my ungrateful sweetheart, carefully copied in her own handwriting, though with a shaky and altered style that clearly showed the emotional turmoil she felt while writing it.
So far I was entirely occupied with love; but soon gave way to the greatest rage. Who think you it is that wants to destroy me, with this woman I adore? What fury do you suppose wicked enough to form so diabolical a plan! You know her: it’s your friend, your relation; it is Madame de Volanges. You cannot conceive what a string of horrible stories the infernal Megera has wrote against me. It is she, and she alone, has disturbed the peace of this angelic woman; it is by her counsels, by her pernicious advice, that I find myself obliged to retire; I am sacrificed to her! Certainly her daughter shall be seduced; but that is not sufficient, she shall be ruined; and since the age of this accursed woman shelters her from my blows, I must strike at her in the object of her affections.
So far, I’ve been completely consumed by love, but soon I gave in to the greatest fury. Who do you think is trying to ruin me along with this woman I adore? What kind of wickedness do you think would come up with such a diabolical plan? You know her: she’s your friend, your relative; it’s Madame de Volanges. You can’t imagine the horrible stories that this infernal woman has written about me. It is she, and she alone, who has disturbed the peace of this angelic woman; it’s through her advice, her harmful suggestions, that I find myself forced to withdraw; I am a sacrifice to her! Sure, her daughter will be seduced, but that’s not enough—she will be ruined; and since the age of this cursed woman protects her from my strikes, I must attack her through what she holds dear.
She will then force me to return to Paris; she obliges me to it! Be it so; I will return; but she shall have reason to lament my return. I am sorry Danceny is to be the hero of this adventure; he has a fund of honour that will be a restraint upon us; but he is in love, and we are often together: I may turn him to account. My anger overcomes me, and I forget that I am to give you the recital of what has passed to-day.
She'll make me go back to Paris; she insists on it! Fine, I’ll go back; but she’ll regret my return. I'm not thrilled that Danceny is going to be the main character in this drama; he has a sense of honor that will hold us back. But he’s in love, and we hang out a lot: I might use that to my advantage. My anger is getting the best of me, and I’m forgetting that I need to tell you about what happened today.
This morning I saw my lovely prude; she never appeared so charming; that was of course; it is the most powerful moment with a woman, that shall produce an intoxication of soul, which is so often spoke of, and so rarely felt, when, though certain of their affections, we have not yet possessed their favours; which is precisely my case. Perhaps the idea, also, of being deprived of the pleasure of seeing her, served to embellish her. At length the post arrived, and brought me your letter of the 27th; and whilst I was reading it, I hesitated whether I should keep my word or not; but I met my fair one’s eyes, and I found it impossible to refuse her any thing.
This morning I saw my lovely prude; she’s never looked so charming. That’s to be expected; it’s the most powerful moment with a woman, creating a rush of feelings that people often talk about but rarely experience, when we’re sure of their affection but haven’t yet enjoyed their company, which is exactly my situation. Maybe the thought of not being able to see her added to her allure. Finally, the mail arrived, bringing me your letter from the 27th; as I was reading it, I paused, wondering whether I should keep my promise or not; but when I met my fair one’s eyes, I found it impossible to say no to her.
I therefore announced my departure immediately after Madame de Rosemonde left us: I was four paces distant from the austere lovely one, when she started with a frightened air, “leave me, leave me, Sir,” said she; “for the love of God, leave me!” This fervent prayer, which discovered her emotion, animated me the more; I was now close to her, and took hold of her hands, which she had joined together with the most moving, affecting expressiveness. I then began my tender complaints, when some evil genius brought back Madame de Rosemonde. The timid devotee, who has in reality some reason to be apprehensive, seized the opportunity, and retired.
I announced my departure right after Madame de Rosemonde left us. I was four steps away from the beautiful but stern woman when she suddenly looked scared and said, “Please, leave me, Sir, for the love of God, leave me!” Her intense plea, which revealed her feelings, motivated me even more. I stepped closer and took her hands, which she had clasped together with such a heartfelt expression. I started to voice my tender complaints when, out of nowhere, Madame de Rosemonde returned. The shy devotee, who actually had plenty of reasons to be worried, took the chance to slip away.
I notwithstanding offered her my hand, which she accepted; and judging favourably of this kindness, which she had not shown for so long a time, and again renewing my complaints, I endeavoured to squeeze hers. She at first endeavoured to draw it back; but upon a more pressing instance, she gave it up with a good grace, although without either answering this emotion or my discourse. Being come to the door of her apartment, I wanted to kiss that hand before I left her: she struggled, but an ah! think I am going to part, pronounced with great tenderness, made her awkward and defenceless; the kiss was scarcely given, when the hand recovered its strength to escape, and the fair one entered her apartment where the waiting-maid was: here ends my tale.
I still offered her my hand, which she took; and thinking positively about this kindness, which she hadn't shown in such a long time, I started to complain again and tried to squeeze her hand. At first, she tried to pull away, but with a bit more insistence, she let me hold it willingly, even though she didn't respond to my gesture or my words. When we got to the door of her room, I wanted to kiss her hand before I left: she resisted, but when I said, "Ah! I think I'm about to leave," in a soft tone, she became awkward and defenseless. The kiss barely landed when her hand regained its strength to pull away, and then she went into her room where her maid was waiting. This is where my story ends.
As I presume you will be to-morrow at the Lady Marechale’s de ——, where, certainly, I shall not go to look for you; and as at our first interview we shall have a great many things to talk over, especially that of the little Volanges, which I do not lose sight of; I have determined to send this letter before me; and although it is so long, I will not close it until the moment I am going to send it to the post; for I am so circumstanced, that a great deal may depend on an opportunity; and I leave you to watch for it.
As I assume you'll be at Lady Marechale's tomorrow, where I definitely won’t be looking for you; and since we have a lot to discuss during our first meeting, especially about little Volanges, which I’m keeping an eye on; I've decided to send this letter ahead of time. Even though it's quite long, I won't finish it until I'm ready to send it to the post, because I find myself in a situation where a lot could hinge on an opportunity, and I trust you to be on the lookout for it.
P. S. Eight o’clock at night.
P.S. 8:00 PM.
Nothing new; not the least moment of liberty; even the greatest care employed to avoid it. Yet as much grief as decency would permit, for the least another event, which may not be a matter of indifference, as Madame de Rosemonde has commanded me to give an invitation to Madame de Volanges, to come and spend a few days in the country.
Nothing new; not a single moment of freedom; even with the utmost effort to steer clear of it. Yet as much sorrow as politeness allows, for there is at least one more event that might matter, since Madame de Rosemonde has asked me to invite Madame de Volanges to come and spend a few days in the countryside.
Adieu, my lovely friend, until to-morrow, or the day after at farthest!
Goodbye, my dear friend, until tomorrow or the day after at the latest!
Aug. 28, 17—.
Aug. 28, 17—.
LETTER XLV.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE VOLANGES.
The President DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE VOLANGES.
Mr. de Valmont is gone this morning, Madam: you seemed so anxiously to wish for this event, that I have thought it my duty to impart it to you. Madame de Rosemonde is inconsolable for the loss of her nephew, whose company was really very pleasing: she spent the whole morning in talking to me of him with her usual sensibility; she was inexhaustible in his praise. I thought myself bound to attend to it without interruption; and indeed I must own she was right on many heads; besides, I was sensible I was the cause of this separation, and have no prospect of making her amends for the pleasure of which I have deprived her. You know I am not naturally inclined to gaiety, and our manner of life here will not contribute much to increase it.
Mr. de Valmont left this morning, Madam: you seemed so eager for this to happen that I felt it was my duty to let you know. Madame de Rosemonde is heartbroken over the loss of her nephew, whose company was truly delightful; she spent the entire morning talking to me about him with her usual sensitivity and couldn’t stop praising him. I felt obligated to listen without interruption; honestly, I have to admit she was right about many things. Besides, I realized I am the reason for this separation and have no way of making it up to her for the joy I've taken away. You know I’m not naturally cheerful, and our way of life here won’t help much in changing that.
Had I not been following your advice, I should have been inclined to think I had acted too precipitately; for I was really hurt at the grief I had caused my respectable friend; I was so much moved, that I could have mingled my tears with hers.
Had I not been following your advice, I would have thought I acted too rashly; I was really upset about the pain I caused my respected friend; I was so moved that I could have cried alongside her.
We now live on the hope that you will accept the invitation that Mr. de Valmont will give you from Madame de Rosemonde, to come and pass a little time with her. I hope you have no doubt of the great satisfaction your compliance will give me; and indeed you should make us amends. I shall be happy in this opportunity of having the pleasure of being sooner acquainted with Mademoiselle de Volanges, and to be near you, to assure you more and more of the respectful sentiments with which I am, &c.
We are now hopeful that you will accept the invitation Mr. de Valmont will extend from Madame de Rosemonde to come spend some time with her. I'm sure you understand how much satisfaction your agreement would bring me; you really owe us this. I will be delighted to have the chance to get to know Mademoiselle de Volanges better and to be close to you, so I can continue to assure you of the respectful feelings I have for you, etc.
Aug. 29, 17—.
Aug. 29, 17—.
LETTER XLVI.
The CHEVALIER DANCENY to CECILIA VOLANGES.
The Chevalier Danceny to Cecilia Volanges.
What then has happened to you, my adorable Cecilia! What can have caused so sudden, so cruel a change in you? What are become of your vows of eternal constancy? Even yesterday you renewed them with so much pleasure: what! can to-day make you forget them? In vain do I examine—I can’t find any reason given by myself; and it afflicts me much to have to seek the cause in you. Ah, no! you are neither fickle or deceitful; and even in this moment of despair, no unworthy suspicion shall disgrace my heart; and yet, from what fatality are you no longer the same? No, cruel creature, you are not! The tender Cecilia, the Cecilia I adore! whose constancy is pledged to me, would not have shunned my tender looks; would not have thwarted the happy accident that placed me near her; or, if any reason that I can’t conceive, had forced her treat to me with so much rigour, she would at least have condescended to have informed me of it.
What has happened to you, my beloved Cecilia? What could have caused such a sudden and harsh change in you? Where are your promises of everlasting loyalty? Just yesterday, you renewed them with such joy: what could make you forget them today? I search in vain—I can’t find any reason within myself; it pains me to have to look for the cause in you. Ah, no! You are neither fickle nor deceitful; and even in this moment of despair, no unworthy suspicion will taint my heart; yet, what unfortunate twist has made you different? No, cruel girl, you are not! The sweet Cecilia, the Cecilia I love! Whose loyalty is devoted to me, would not have turned away from my affectionate gaze; would not have disrupted the fortunate moment that brought me close to her; or if some reason I can’t understand forced her to treat me so harshly, she would at least have taken the time to explain it to me.
Ah! you don’t know, you never can know, what you have made me suffer at this day, what I shall suffer at this instant! Do you then think I can live without your love? Yet, when I begged but a word, a single word, to dispel my fears, instead of making a reply, you feigned a dread of being overheard; and this obstacle, which then had no existence, you gave birth to by the place yon fixed on in the circle. When forced to leave you, and I asked what hour I should see you to-morrow, you feigned not to know; and to Madame de Volanges was I obliged for telling me. Thus the moment hitherto so much panted for, of being with you to-morrow, will bring me only distress and grief; and the pleasure of seeing you, as yet the greatest my heart could experience, must now give way to the dread of being troublesome.
Ah! You don't know, and you can never understand, the pain you've caused me today and the suffering I'm feeling right now! Do you really think I can live without your love? Yet, when I asked for just a word, a single word to calm my fears, instead of responding, you pretended to be afraid of being heard; and this excuse, which didn't exist before, you created by choosing that spot in the circle. When I had to leave you and asked what time I could see you tomorrow, you acted like you didn't know; it was Madame de Volanges who had to tell me. So now, the moment I had been so eagerly waiting for, to be with you tomorrow, will only bring me distress and sadness; and the joy of seeing you, which was the greatest happiness my heart could feel, must now give way to the fear of being a burden.
I already feel this: my fears prevent me from talking to you of my passion. Though I love you, that enchanting sound, which I so much delighted in repeating, when I could hear it, in my turn; that sweet word which sufficed for my felicity, no longer offers me, if you are altered, but eternal despair. I cannot however think that this talisman of love has lost all its effect, and I still strive to make use of it. Yes, my Cecilia, I love you[1]. Repeat then this happy expression with me. Remember you have accustomed me to it; and now to deprive me of it, would be to condemn me to torments, which, like my love, will only end with my life.
I already feel this: my fears stop me from talking to you about my passion. Even though I love you, that enchanting phrase that I loved repeating whenever I could hear it in return; that sweet word which was enough for my happiness now brings me, if you’ve changed, nothing but endless despair. However, I can’t believe that this charm of love has lost all its power, and I still try to hold on to it. Yes, my Cecilia, I love you[1]. So please repeat this joyful phrase with me. Remember, you’ve gotten me used to it; and to take it away now would be to condemn me to torments that, like my love, will only end with my life.
Aug. 29, 17—.
Aug. 29, 17—.
LETTER XLVII.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
The Viscount Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
I shall not see you to-day, my charming friend; and I will give you my reasons, which I hope you will accept with your usual good nature.
I won’t see you today, my lovely friend; and I’ll share my reasons, which I hope you’ll accept with your usual kindness.
Instead of returning directly to town yesterday, I stopped at the Countess de ——’s, whose country seat was almost in my road; where I dined, and did not arrive in Paris till near seven o’clock, and alighted at the opera, where I thought you might be.
Instead of going straight back to town yesterday, I stopped by the Countess de ——’s place, which was almost on my way; I had dinner there and didn't get to Paris until around seven o’clock, and I got out at the opera, where I thought you might be.
When the opera was over, I went into the green room to see my old acquaintances; there I found my old friend Emily in the midst of a numerous circle, male and female, who were engaged to sup with her that night at P———. I no sooner came among them, but, by the unanimous voice, I was entreated to be of the party. One, a short, thick figure, who stammered out his invitation in Dutch French, I immediately recognised to be the master of the feast. I yielded.
When the opera ended, I went into the green room to catch up with my old friends; there, I found my old friend Emily surrounded by a large group of people, both men and women, who were set to have dinner with her that night at P———. As soon as I joined them, they all urged me to come along. One person, a short, stocky guy who awkwardly invited me in a mix of Dutch and French, I instantly recognized as the host. I agreed.
I learned, on our way there, that the house we were going to was the price agreed on for Emily’s condescension to this grotesque figure, and that this supper was in fact a wedding feast. The little man could not contain himself for joy, in expectation of the happiness that awaited him; and I saw him so enraptured with it, that I felt a strong inclination to disturb it; which I effected.
I found out on the way there that the house we were heading to was the price agreed upon for Emily’s willingness to accept this absurd person, and that this dinner was actually a wedding feast. The little man was so overwhelmed with joy, anticipating the happiness that was coming his way; I could see him so caught up in it that I felt a strong urge to interrupt that moment, which I did.
The only difficulty was to bring Emily to consent, in whom the burgomaster’s riches had raised some scruples: however, after some solicitation, I brought her at length to consent to my scheme, which was, to fill this little beer hogshead with wine, and thus get rid of him.
The only challenge was getting Emily to agree, as the burgomaster’s wealth had given her some doubts. However, after some persuasion, I finally got her to go along with my plan, which was to fill this small beer barrel with wine and get rid of him that way.
The sublime idea we entertained of a drunken Dutchman, made us exert ourselves. We succeeded so well, that by the time the dessert was brought on the table, he was not able to hold his glass, whilst the tender Emily and I plied him incessantly, till, at length, he fell under the table so drunk, that it must have lasted at least eight days. We then determined to send him back to Paris; and as he had not kept his carriage, I ordered him to be packed into mine, and I remained in his room. I then received the compliments of the company, who retired soon after, and left me master of the field of battle. This frolic, and perhaps my long retirement, made Emily so desirable, that I promised to remain with her until the resurrection of the Dutchman.
The hilarious image we had of a drunk Dutchman motivated us to step up our game. We did so well that by the time dessert was served, he could barely hold his glass. The sweet Emily and I kept feeding him drinks until, eventually, he collapsed under the table so drunk that it seemed to last a good eight days. We then decided to send him back to Paris; since he didn’t have his carriage, I instructed that he be loaded into mine, while I stayed in his room. I then received the compliments of the guests, who soon left, leaving me the victor of this little adventure. This prank, along with my long time away, made Emily even more appealing, so I promised to stay with her until the Dutchman was back on his feet.
This condescension is a return for that she has just had for me, in submitting to serve me as a desk to write to my lovely devotee, to whom it struck me as a pleasant thought, to write in bed with, and almost in the arms of, a girl, where I was interrupted by a complete infidelity. In this letter I give her an exact account of my conduct and situation. Emily, who read the epistle, laughed immoderately, and I expect it will make you laugh also.
This condescension is a response to what she just did for me, letting me use her as a desk to write to my lovely devotee. I found it a nice idea to write in bed with, and almost in the arms of, a girl, until I was interrupted by a total betrayal. In this letter, I give her a detailed account of my behavior and situation. Emily, who read the letter, laughed a lot, and I expect it will make you laugh too.
As my letter must be marked at the Paris post-office, I leave it open for you, enclosed. Read it, seal it, and send it there. But, pray, do not use your own seal, nor even any amorous emblem—an antique head only. Adieu, my lovely friend!
As I need to have my letter stamped at the Paris post office, I'm leaving it open for you inside the envelope. Please read it, seal it, and send it off. But, please, don’t use your own seal or any romantic symbols—just an antique head. Goodbye, my lovely friend!
P. S. I open my letter to acquaint you, I have determined Emily to go to the Italian opera; and will take that opportunity to visit you. I shall be with you at six the latest; and if agreeable to you, I will accompany you to Madame de Volanges’ at seven. It would not be decent to defer longer acquainting her with Madame de Rosemonde’s invitation; besides, I shall be glad to see the little Volanges.
P.S. I'm writing to let you know that I've decided to take Emily to the Italian opera, and I’ll use that chance to visit you. I’ll be there by six at the latest, and if it works for you, I’d love to go with you to Madame de Volanges’ at seven. It wouldn’t be right to keep Madame de Volanges waiting about Madame de Rosemonde’s invitation; plus, I’d be happy to see little Volanges.
Adieu, fair lady! I hope so much pleasure will attend my embracing you, that the Chevalier may be jealous of it.
Goodbye, beautiful lady! I hope that embracing you brings me so much joy that the Knight will become jealous of it.
From P———, Aug. 30, 17—.
From P———, Aug. 30, 17—.
LETTER XLVIII.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
The Viscount Valmont to the President de Tourvel.
(Post-mark, Paris.)
(Postmark, Paris.)
It is after a very stormy night, during which I have not closed my eyes; it is after having been in incessant agitations, both from uncommon ardour, and entire annihilation of all the faculties of my soul, I come to you, madam, to seek the calm I so much stand in need of, and which I cannot yet hope to enjoy; for the situation I now write of, convinces me more than ever of the irresistible power of love: I can hardly preserve command over myself, to arrange my ideas in any order; and I already foresee that I shall not be able to finish this letter, without being obliged to break off. What! cannot I then hope that you will one day experience the emotions I do at this moment! I may venture, however, to assert, that if you thoroughly experienced such emotions, you could not be totally insensible to them. Believe me, Madam, settled tranquillity, the sleep of the soul, that image of death, does not lead to happiness; the active passions alone lead the way; and notwithstanding the torments you make me suffer, I may, I think, assure myself, that I am this moment happier than you. In vain do you overwhelm me with your afflicting severities; they do not prevent me from giving a loose to my love, and forgetting, in the delirium it causes me, the despair to which you abandon me: thus I revenge myself of the exile to which you have condemned me. Never did I before experience so much pleasure in writing to you. Never did I feel in this pleasing employment so sweet, so lively an emotion! Every thing conspires to raise my transports! The very air I breathe wafts me luxurious pleasure; even the table I write on, now, for the first time, consecrated by me to that use, becomes to me a sacred altar of love; how much more lustre will it not hence derive in my eyes! I will have engraven on it my oath ever to love you! Forgive, I beseech you, my disordered senses. I ought, perhaps, to moderate transports you do not share in. I must leave you a moment to dissipate a frenzy which I find growing upon me: I find it too strong for me.
It’s after a really stormy night, during which I couldn’t close my eyes; after being in constant turmoil, feeling both intense passion and complete overwhelm of my soul, I come to you, madam, to seek the calm I desperately need, and which I can’t yet hope to enjoy; because the situation I’m writing about convinces me more than ever of the unyielding power of love: I can barely maintain control over myself to organize my thoughts in any order; and I already see that I won’t be able to finish this letter without having to stop. What! Can’t I hope that one day you’ll feel the emotions I’m feeling at this moment! However, I can confidently say that if you fully experienced such feelings, you couldn’t be completely indifferent to them. Believe me, Madam, settled calm, the sleep of the soul, that image of death, doesn’t lead to happiness; only active passions show the way; and despite the agony you put me through, I think I can assure myself that I am right now happier than you. You overwhelm me with your painful harshness in vain; it doesn’t stop me from giving in to my love and forgetting, in the madness it causes me, the despair to which you subject me: thus I take my revenge for the exile you’ve condemned me to. I’ve never felt so much joy in writing to you before. I’ve never felt such sweet, vibrant emotion in this delightful task! Everything around me contributes to heightening my excitement! The very air I breathe brings me luxurious pleasure; even the desk I’m writing on, now, for the first time, dedicated by me to this purpose, becomes a sacred altar of love; how much more significance will it now have in my eyes! I will have my vow to always love you engraved on it! Please forgive my chaotic feelings. I should probably tone down the emotions you’re not sharing. I need to step away for a moment to shake off a frenzy that’s taking over me: it’s becoming too much to handle.
I return to you, Madam, and certainly return always with the same eagerness; but the sentiment of happiness has fled from me, and gives place to the most cruel state of privation. What does it avail me to talk to you of my sentiments, if it is only in vain that I seek means of convincing you? After so many repeated efforts, my confidence and my strength both abandon me at once. If I recall to my mind the pleasures of love, that only produces a more lively sense of regret at being deprived of them. I see no resource but in your indulgence, and I too well experience at this moment how much I want it, to hope to obtain it. Yet my passion was never more respectful, or ought to give you less offence: it is such, I can venture to say, as the strictest virtue would have no reason to dread; but I am afraid any longer to take up your time with the pains I experience, certain as I am that the object who causes them, does not share them. I must not, at least, presume too far on goodness, which I should do by dwelling on this melancholy picture; I shall only implore you to give me a reply, and never to doubt the veracity of my sentiments.
I come back to you, Madam, and I always return with the same eagerness; but the feeling of happiness has left me, and in its place is the most painful sense of loss. What good does it do me to talk to you about my feelings if I'm only trying in vain to convince you? After so many attempts, I feel my confidence and strength fading away. When I think of the joys of love, it only makes me feel more regretful about being without them. I see no hope but in your kindness, and I can feel how much I need it right now, making it hard to expect any of it. Yet my passion has never been more respectful, and it should give you less cause for offense: it’s a kind that the strictest virtue wouldn’t have to fear. But I hesitate to take up more of your time with my suffering, knowing that the one who causes it does not share in it. I shouldn’t assume too much on your kindness by dwelling on this sad picture; I will only ask you to give me a response and never doubt the truth of my feelings.
Wrote from P———, dated at Paris,
Aug. 30, 17—.
Wrote from P———, dated in Paris,
Aug. 30, 2017.
LETTER XLIX.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
Cecilia Volanges to the Chevalier Danceny.
Without being either fickle or deceitful, it is sufficient, Sir, to account for my conduct, to know there is a necessity for an alteration in it: I have promised myself a sacrifice to God, until I can offer him also the sacrifice of my sentiments for you, which the religious state you are in renders doubly criminal.—I well know it will give me a great deal of uneasiness, and I will not conceal from you that, since the day before yesterday, I have continually wept when I thought on you; but I hope God will grant me the necessary strength to forget you, which I constantly beg of him night and morning. I even expect, from your friendship and good breeding, that you will not endeavour to interfere with me in the good resolutions that I have been inspired with; and which I endeavour to cherish. I therefore request that you will not write to me any more, as I assure you I shall give no answer; and it would oblige me to acquaint my mamma of every thing that happens, which would entirely deprive me the pleasure of seeing you.
Without being either unpredictable or dishonest, it's enough, Sir, to say that I need to change my behavior: I've promised to make a sacrifice to God until I can also offer Him the sacrifice of my feelings for you, which is doubly wrong given your current religious situation. I know this will cause me a lot of pain, and I won't hide from you that since the day before yesterday, I've been crying every time I think of you. But I hope God will give me the strength to forget you, which I ask Him for every night and morning. I also expect that, out of friendship and good manners, you won't try to interfere with the good decisions I've felt inspired to make, which I'm trying to hold on to. So, I kindly ask that you don't write to me anymore, as I assure you I won't respond; and it would force me to tell my mom everything that happens, which would completely take away the pleasure of seeing you.
I shall, notwithstanding, have all the attachment for you, that one can have, consistently with innocence; and from my soul I wish you all manner of happiness. I know very well you will love me no longer, and, perhaps, you will soon love another better than me; but this will be an additional penance for the fault I committed in giving you my heart, which I ought to have reserved for God and my husband, when I shall have one. I hope the divine mercy will pity my weakness, and not afflict me with misfortunes that I shall not be able to bear.
I will, despite everything, have all the feelings for you that one can have while staying true to my morals; and I genuinely wish you all kinds of happiness. I know very well that you won't love me anymore, and maybe you'll soon love someone else more than me; but this will just be another punishment for the mistake I made in giving you my heart, which I should have kept for God and my future husband. I hope that divine mercy will show compassion for my weakness and not give me any hardships that I can't handle.
Farewell, Sir! I can assure you, that if it was lawful for me to love any one, I should never love any but you; but that is all I can say, and perhaps more than I ought.
Farewell, Sir! I can assure you that if it were allowed for me to love anyone, I would love no one but you; but that’s all I can say, and maybe more than I should.
Aug. 31, 17—.
Aug. 31, 1717—.
LETTER L.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The President de Tourvel to the VALMONT VISCOUNT.
Is it thus, then, Sir, you fulfil the conditions on which I consented to receive your letters sometimes? And have I not reason to complain, when you mention a sentiment which I should dread to harbour, even were it not inconsistent with every idea of my duty.
Is that really how you meet the conditions under which I agreed to receive your letters occasionally? Don't I have a right to be upset when you bring up a feeling that I would fear to hold, even if it weren't completely against everything I believe is my duty?
If there was a necessity of fresh arguments to preserve this salutary fear, I think I may find sufficient in your last letter; for really, at the time you think to apologise for your passion, you, on the contrary, convince me of its multiplied horrors, for who would wish to purchase pleasure at the expence of reason? Pleasures so transitory, and that are always followed by regret, and often by remorse.
If there was a need for new reasons to maintain this helpful fear, I think I can find enough in your last letter; because honestly, at the moment you think you're apologizing for your passion, you actually convince me of its many horrors. Who would want to seek pleasure at the cost of reason? Pleasures that are so fleeting, and that are always followed by regret, and often by guilt.
Even yourself, in whom the habitude of this dangerous delirium ought to diminish the effect, are notwithstanding obliged to agree, that it often becomes too strong for you, and you are the first to complain of the involuntary disturbance it causes in you. What horrible ravages would it not then make in an unexperienced and sensible heart, which would augment its force by the greatness of the sacrifices it would be obliged to make?
Even you, who should be used to this dangerous delirium by now, have to admit that it often becomes too overwhelming for you, and you're the first to complain about the involuntary turmoil it brings. Just think of the destructive impact it could have on a naive and sensitive heart, which would only intensify its power due to the significant sacrifices that would need to be made.
You believe, or feign to believe, Sir, that love leads to happiness; but I am fully persuaded that it would make me so totally miserable, that I wish never to hear the word mentioned. I think that even speaking of it hurts tranquillity; and it is as much from inclination as duty, that I beseech you to be hereafter silent on that subject: this requisition you may very easily grant at this time. You are now returned to Paris, where you will find opportunities enough to forget a sentiment which probably owed its birth to the habit you have of making this your whole employment; and the strength of your present passion, is probably to be ascribed to your want of other objects in the country. Are you not now in that place where you often saw me with indifference? Can you take a step there without meeting an example of your mutability? Are you not there surrounded by women, who, all more amiable than me, have a greater right to your homage? I have not the vanity with which my sex is reproached; I have still less of that false modesty, which is nothing less than a refinement of pride; and it is with sincerity I assure you, that I am not conscious of possessing attractions: had I the greatest, I should not think them sufficient to fix you. To request of you, then, to think no more of me is only to beg of you to do now what you did before, and what you certainly would do in a very short time, were I even to make a contrary request.
You believe, or pretend to believe, Sir, that love brings happiness; but I’m convinced it would make me completely miserable, and I wish to never hear that word again. I think that even talking about it disrupts my peace; and it’s as much from my preferences as from obligation that I ask you to keep quiet about it from now on: you can easily grant this request right now. You’re back in Paris, where you’ll find plenty of chances to forget a feeling that likely arose because you made it your entire focus; the intensity of your current feelings is probably just because you haven’t had other distractions in the countryside. Aren’t you now in the place where you often saw me without any real interest? Can you even step foot there without encountering a reminder of how you’ve changed? Aren’t you surrounded by women who are all more charming than me and have more right to your admiration? I don’t have the vanity that my gender is accused of; I have even less of that false modesty, which is really just a form of pride; and I sincerely assure you that I don’t believe I have any special qualities: even if I did have the greatest ones, I wouldn’t think they’d be enough to keep you. So asking you to stop thinking about me is just asking you to do what you’ve already done before, and what you would definitely do again in no time, even if I were to tell you otherwise.
This truth, which I do not lose sight of, would be alone a sufficient reason to listen to you no longer. I have a thousand other reasons; but without entering into long discussion, I shall once more entreat, as I have already done, that you will not write to me more upon a sentiment to which I ought not to listen, much less make any return.
This truth, which I keep in mind, would be enough of a reason for me to stop listening to you. I have countless other reasons; but without going into a lengthy discussion, I will once again ask, as I have before, that you not write to me anymore about a feeling I shouldn’t entertain, let alone respond to.
Sept. 1, 17—.
Sept. 1, 17—.
END OF THE FIRST VOLUME.
DANGEROUS
CONNECTIONS:
A SERIES OF
LETTERS,
CHOSEN FROM THE CORRESPONDENCE
OF
A PRIVATE GROUP;
AND PUBLISHED FOR THE EDUCATION
OF SOCIETY.
“I have observed the Manners of the Times, and have wrote those Letters.”
J. J. Rousseau, Pref. to the New Eloise.
SECOND EDITION.
IN FOUR VOLUMES.
VOL. II.
London:
PRINTED FOR J. EBERS, OLD BOND STREET.
1812
LETTER LI.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to VISCOUNT VALMONT.
The Marchioness de Merteuil to Viscount Valmont.
Upon my word, Viscount, you are intolerable; you treat me with as little ceremony as if I was your mistress. Do you know you will make me angry, and that I am this instant in a most horrible passion? so you are to meet Danceny to-morrow morning? you know how important it is I should see you before that interview; yet, without giving yourself any farther trouble, you make me wait the whole day, while you run about I know not where. You are the cause of my having been indecently late at Madame de Volanges’, which all the old women thought exceedingly strange; I was under the necessity of amusing them the rest of the evening, to keep them in temper; for one must be on good terms with old women; they decide on the reputation of the young ones.
Upon my word, Viscount, you are unbearable; you treat me with as little respect as if I were your mistress. Do you realize you’re going to make me angry, and that I’m currently in a terrible mood? So, you’re meeting Danceny tomorrow morning? You know how important it is for me to see you before that meeting; yet, without any further thought, you make me wait all day while you go off who knows where. You're the reason I was indecently late at Madame de Volanges’, which all the old women found exceedingly strange; I had to entertain them for the rest of the evening to keep them in a good mood, because one needs to be on good terms with old women; they influence the reputation of the young ones.
Now it is one o’clock; and instead of going to bed as I ought, I must sit up to write you a long letter, which will add to my drowsiness by its disagreeable subject. You are very lucky that I have not time to scold you. Do not imagine, however, I forgive you: you have only to thank my hurry. Hear me, then: with a little address, you may, to-morrow, obtain Danceny’s confidence. The opportunity is favourable: it is that of distress. The little girl has been at confession, has told all like a child, and has been since so terrified with the fear of hell, that she is absolutely determined on a rupture. She related to me all her little scruples in a manner that I am confident her head is turned. She showed me that letter, declaring her breaking off, which is in the true style of fanatical absurdity. She prattled for an hour to me without a word of common sense, and yet she embarrassed me; for you will conceive I could not risk to open my mind to such an idiot.
Now it’s one o’clock, and instead of going to bed like I should, I have to stay up writing you a long letter, which is only going to make me sleepier with its annoying topic. You’re really lucky I don’t have time to scold you. Don’t think for a second that I’ve forgiven you—it's only because I'm in a rush. Listen to me: with a bit of skill, you can win Danceny’s trust tomorrow. The opportunity is right: it’s a time of distress. The girl has been to confession, spilled everything like a child, and now she’s so scared of hell that she’s dead set on breaking it off. She shared all her little dilemmas with me, and I’m sure her head is spinning. She showed me that letter where she declares she's ending things, and it's straight out of the book of fanatical nonsense. She talked to me for an hour without any sense, and yet she made me uneasy because, as you can imagine, I couldn’t risk opening up to someone so foolish.
I observe, however, amidst all this nonsense, that she is not the less in love with her Danceny; I even took notice of one of those resources which love always supplies, and to which the girl is curiously enough a dupe. Tormented with the thoughts of her lover, and the fear of being damned for those thoughts, she has taken it into her head to pray to God to make her forget him; and as she renews this prayer every hour in the day, she is thus incessantly thinking of him.
I notice, though, with all this nonsense going on, that she is still just as in love with her Danceny. I even noticed one of those tricks that love always brings, and curiously enough, the girl falls for it. Tortured by thoughts of her lover and scared of being damned for those thoughts, she’s decided to pray to God to help her forget him; and since she repeats this prayer every hour of the day, she’s constantly thinking about him.
To any one more formed than Danceny, this little circumstance would be more favourable than impropitious; but the youth is such a Celadon, that unless we assist him, it will take him so much time to conquer the slightest obstacles, that we shall not have time enough to carry our project into effect.
To anyone more experienced than Danceny, this small situation would be more advantageous than problematic; but the young man is such a dreamer that unless we help him, it will take him too long to overcome the smallest challenges, leaving us without enough time to execute our plan.
You are quite right, it is a pity, and I am as sorry as you that he should be the hero of this adventure; but what can be done? What is past is not to be recalled, and it’s all your fault. I desired to see his answer; it was wretched stuff. He gives her numberless reasons to prove that an involuntary passion is not criminal; as if it became involuntary in the moment of desiring to resist it. This idea is so simple, that it even struck the girl herself. He laments his misfortune in a manner somewhat pathetic; but his grief is so cold, and yet bears the appearance of being so fixed and sincere, I think it impossible that a woman, who has an opportunity of driving a man to despair with so small a risk, should not gratify the whim. He informs her he is not a monk, as the little one imagined; and that is certainly the best part of his letter: for, were a woman absurd enough to be seized with a propensity to monastic love, the gentlemen who are Knights of Malta would not deserve the preference.
You’re absolutely right; it’s unfortunate, and I feel as bad as you do that he ended up being the hero in this situation. But what can we do? What’s done is done, and it’s all your fault. I wanted to see his response; it was terrible. He gives her countless reasons to argue that an involuntary passion isn’t a crime, as if it becomes involuntary the moment he tries to fight it. This idea is so straightforward that even the girl realized it. He expresses his misfortune in a somewhat heartfelt way, but his sorrow feels so detached, yet looks so genuine and sincere, that I find it hard to believe a woman who has the chance to drive a man to despair with so little risk wouldn’t take the opportunity. He tells her he’s not a monk, as the young one thought; and that’s definitely the best part of his letter. Because if a woman were silly enough to feel a pull towards monastic love, then the Knights of Malta wouldn’t be the ones she’d prefer.
However, instead of throwing away time in arguments which would have committed me, and perhaps without persuasion, I approved the scheme of breaking off; but told her in such cases it was more genteel to declare the reasons in conversation, than write them; that it was also usual to return the letters and other trifles that might have been received; and thus seeming to enter into her views, I determined her to give Danceny a meeting. We immediately concluded the method of bringing it about; and I undertook to prevail upon her mother to go on a visit without her; and to-morrow evening is the decisive hour of our meeting. Danceny is apprised of it. For God’s sake, if you possibly can, prevail on this lovely swain to be less languid; and tell him, since he must be told every thing, that the true method of overcoming scruples, is to leave nothing to lose, to those who are subject to scruples: that this ridiculous scene may not be renewed, I did not omit raising doubts in her mind, on the discretion of confessors; and I assure you she repays me the fright she put me into, by her present apprehensions, lest her confessor should tell her mother all. I hope, after I have had one or two more conferences with her on this subject, she will not be so ridiculous to tell her foolish nonsense to the first comer[1].
However, instead of wasting time on arguments that could tie me down, and probably without changing her mind, I agreed to the idea of breaking things off. But I told her that in these situations, it's more polite to explain the reasons in conversation rather than in writing. It's also common to return letters and little gifts that might have been exchanged. By going along with her perspective, I got her to agree to arrange a meeting with Danceny. We quickly figured out how to set it up; I would persuade her mother to go on a visit without her. Tomorrow evening is when it all comes to a head. Danceny is aware of this. For heaven's sake, if you can, encourage this charming guy to be less passive; and tell him, since he needs to hear everything, that the best way to get over doubts is to give those who have them nothing to lose. To avoid repeating this silly situation, I made sure to plant some doubts in her mind about the discretion of confessors; and I assure you, she’s paying me back for the scare she gave me with her current worries about whether her confessor might tell her mother everything. I hope that after I have one or two more chats with her on this topic, she won’t be silly enough to share her ridiculous thoughts with just anyone.
Adieu, Viscount! Seize on Danceny, give him his lesson; it would be shameful we should not do as we pleased with two children. If we meet more difficulty than we first imagined in this business, let us reflect to animate our zeal; you, that your object is Madame de Volanges’ daughter; and I, that she is intended to be Gercourt’s bride. Adieu!
Adieu, Viscount! Go after Danceny, teach him a lesson; it would be shameful if we couldn't do what we wanted with two kids. If we face more challenges than we thought in this situation, let’s remind ourselves to boost our motivation: you, that your goal is Madame de Volanges’ daughter; and I, that she is meant to be Gercourt’s bride. Adieu!
Sept. 2, 17—.
Sept. 2, 1717—.
[1] The reader must have long since observed, from Madame de Merteuil’s manners, that she paid little regard to religion. All this detail would have been suppressed; but it was thought, that to show effects, it was necessary to touch upon the causes of them.
[1] The reader has probably noticed by now, from Madame de Merteuil’s behavior, that she didn’t pay much attention to religion. This detail could have been left out; however, it was felt that in order to show the effects, it was important to address their causes.
LETTER LII.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
VALMONT EARL to the President de Tourvel.
You forbid me, Madam, to talk to you of my love: but where shall I find courage to obey you? Entirely engrossed by a passion, which ought to be of an agreeable nature, and which your obduracy renders so tormenting; languishing in the exile to which you have condemned me; existing only in a state of privation and sorrow, a prey to the most cruel reflections, which incessantly recall to my mind your indifference; must I then lose my only remaining consolation? Can I have any other, than sometimes to bare to you a heart overwhelmed by you with anguish and bitterness? Will you turn aside, not to see the tears you cause to flow? Will you refuse even the acknowledgment of the sacrifices you require? Would it not then be more consonant to your soft tender disposition, to pity a wretch you have made miserable, than to aggravate his sorrows by a prohibition equally unjust and rigorous?
You’re telling me, Madam, not to talk about my love for you, but where will I find the strength to follow that? I'm completely consumed by a passion that should be enjoyable, yet your stubbornness makes it unbearable; suffering in the isolation you've sentenced me to; living only in a state of loss and sadness, tormented by the cruel thoughts that constantly remind me of your indifference. Must I then lose my last remaining comfort? Is there any other solace for me than to occasionally reveal to you a heart that you've filled with anguish and bitterness? Will you look away and ignore the tears you cause? Will you deny even the acknowledgment of the sacrifices you demand? Wouldn’t it be more fitting to your gentle nature to feel compassion for someone you’ve made miserable than to increase his sorrow with such an unreasonable and harsh prohibition?
You affect to fear the passion of love, and yet you will not see that you alone cause the evils you reproach to it. Most indubitably it must be a painful sensation when the object that inspires it does not participate in it: but where is happiness to be found, if reciprocal love does not produce it? A tender friendship, a sweet confidence, that confidence which is the only untinctured with reserve, care softened, pleasure augmented, enchanting hopes, delicious reflections; where are they to be found but in love? You calumniate it, who to share all its blessings have only to cherish it; and I, forgetful of the torments it causes, am only anxious to defend it. You oblige me also to defend myself: for whilst I devote my life to adore you, yours is employed in searching out new faults in me. Already do you suppose me volatile and deceitful; and taking advantage of a few trivial errors which I ingenuously confessed, you are pleased to confound what I then was, with what I now am. Not satisfied with having delivered me up to the torments of living at a distance from you, you add to it a cruel mockery of pleasures to which you have made me too sensible. You neither credit my promises nor oaths. Well! there is one pledge yet left me to offer, of which you can have no doubt; I mean yourself. I only beg of you to ask yourself with sincerity, if you don’t believe I love you sincerely? Whether you have the least doubt of your empire over my heart? Whether you are not even certain of having fixed this, as yet, I most own, too inconstant heart? I will consent to suffer for this error. I shall lament, but shall not appeal. If, on the other hand, and just to us both, you should be obliged to acknowledge, that you now have not, nor ever will have, a rival, do not oblige me to combat chimeras. Leave me, at least, the consolation to believe, you no longer doubt a sentiment which never will, never can end but with my life. Permit me, Madam, to beseech you to answer positively this part of my letter.
You pretend to be afraid of the passion of love, yet you don’t see that you’re the one causing the troubles you blame it for. It’s undeniably painful when the person who inspires that passion doesn’t feel the same way. But where is happiness to be found if mutual love doesn’t create it? A gentle friendship, sweet trust—the kind of trust that’s completely free from reserve—care that’s softened, amplified joy, enchanting hopes, and wonderful reflections; where else can you find these things but in love? You criticize it, yet to enjoy all its benefits, you only need to embrace it; and I, despite the pain it brings, am only eager to defend it. You also force me to defend myself: while I devote my life to adoring you, you spend yours looking for new flaws in me. You already think I’m fickle and deceitful; and by seizing on a few minor mistakes I honestly admitted, you blend who I was then with who I am now. Not content with having delivered me to the agony of being apart from you, you add cruel mockery to the pleasures that you’ve made me too aware of. You won’t trust my promises or oaths. Well! There’s still one assurance I can offer, of which you can have no doubt: I mean yourself. I just ask that you sincerely reflect and ask yourself if you really don’t believe I love you deeply? Do you have any doubt about your hold on my heart? Are you not even sure you’ve secured this, even in my somewhat fickle heart? I’m willing to suffer for this mistake. I will grieve, but I won’t plead. However, if, to be fair to us both, you must admit that you currently have no rival and never will, please don’t make me fight against illusions. At least leave me the comfort of believing that you no longer doubt a feeling that will never end, never can end, except with my life. Please, Madam, I urge you to respond clearly to this part of my letter.
Should I even give up that epoch of my life, which, it seems, has hurt me so much in your opinion, it is not that I want reasons to defend it: for, after all, what is my crime? Why, not to be able to resist the torrent in which I was plunged, launched into the world young and inexperienced. Bandied, as it were, from one to another, by a number of women, who all hastened, by their facility, to prevent a reflection that they knew would be unfavourable to them, was it for me to set the example of a resistance that was not opposed to me? Or should I have punished myself for a momentary error by an useless constancy, which would only have exposed me to ridicule? And what other method but a speedy rupture can justify a shameful choice?
Should I really give up that part of my life, which you think has hurt me so much? It's not that I need reasons to defend it: after all, what is my crime? Was it that I couldn’t resist the overwhelming situation I found myself in, thrown into the world when I was young and inexperienced? I was tossed around by several women, who all rushed to prevent any negative thoughts about them. Was it my job to set an example by resisting something that wasn’t even directed at me? Or should I have punished myself for a brief mistake with a useless commitment that would just make me a laughingstock? And what other way, except a quick break, could justify such a shameful choice?
But I can truly say, that this intoxication of the senses, or, perhaps, this delirium of vanity, never reached my heart. Born, as it were, for love, intrigue could only distract it; but was not sufficient to take possession of it. Surrounded by seducing, but despicable objects, none went to my soul. Pleasures offered, but I sought virtues; and I even thought myself inconstant, because I was delicate, and had feelings.
But I can honestly say that this thrill of the senses, or maybe this craziness of vanity, never touched my heart. Born for love, I found that intrigue could only distract me; it wasn't enough to capture my heart. Surrounded by tempting but worthless things, nothing reached my soul. Pleasures were offered, but I looked for virtues; I even thought I was fickle because I was sensitive and had feelings.
When I saw you, I began to be enlightened. I soon perceived that the charms of love were attached to the qualities of the soul; that they alone could produce an excess and justification of love. I instantly felt, that it would be as impossible not to love you, as it would be to love any other but you.
When I saw you, I started to understand things more clearly. I quickly realized that the beauty of love is linked to the qualities of a person's soul; that they alone can create an abundance and reason for love. I immediately felt that it would be just as impossible not to love you as it would be to love anyone else but you.
Such, Madam, is the heart which you dread to yield to, and whose fate you are to determine: but be it as it will, you will never be able to alter the sentiments that attached it to you; they are as unalterable as the virtues which gave them birth.
Such, Madam, is the heart that you fear to give in to, and whose fate you have the power to decide: but no matter what happens, you will never be able to change the feelings that tie it to you; they are as unchangeable as the virtues that inspired them.
Sept. 3, 17—.
Sept. 3, 17—.
LETTER LIII.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
VALMONT, VISCOUNT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
I saw Danceny, and only obtained a half-confidence from him; he is tenacious in concealing the name of the little Volanges, and spoke of her as of a very discreet person, and something inclined to devotion. As to the rest, he related his adventure with tolerable propriety, especially the last event. I heated his imagination as much as I could, and ridiculed his scrupulous delicacy; but he is still the same, and I cannot depend upon him: I shall be able to tell you more of him after to-morrow. We go to-morrow to Versailles, and shall endeavour to dive into him by the way.
I saw Danceny and only got half the confidence I was hoping for; he's really stubborn about not revealing the name of little Volanges, referring to her as a very discreet person, and somewhat devoted. As for everything else, he shared his story with decent propriety, particularly the last part. I tried to spark his imagination as best as I could and teased him about his overly careful nature; but he hasn’t changed, and I can’t rely on him. I’ll have more to share about him after tomorrow. We’re going to Versailles tomorrow and will try to dig deeper into his thoughts along the way.
The interview that was to take place to-day gives me some hopes: perhaps every thing succeeded to our wishes; and perhaps nothing now remains but to extract the confession, and gather the proofs. This business will be easier for you to perform than me, for the little thing is more open, or, which is the same thing, more silly then her discreet lover; notwithstanding, I’ll do my best.
The interview scheduled for today gives me some hope: maybe everything turned out as we wanted; and maybe all that's left is to get the confession and collect the evidence. This task will be easier for you than for me, because the little one is more straightforward, or, to put it another way, more naive than her secretive lover; still, I’ll do my best.
Adieu, my lovely friend! I have a great deal of employment on my hands. I will neither see you this night nor to-morrow: but if you come to the knowledge of any thing, let me have a line at my return. I shall certainly sleep in Paris.
Adieu, my lovely friend! I have a lot of work to do. I won't be seeing you tonight or tomorrow. But if you find out anything, please send me a message when I get back. I will definitely be sleeping in Paris.
Sept. 3, 17—.
Sept. 3, 17—.
LETTER LIV.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the Viscount de Valmont.
Yes, to be sure, Danceny is a very proper person to get any thing out of. If he has said any thing to you, he is a braggart. I do not know such a fool in love matters, and I reproach myself more and more for the pains we take for him. Do you know, I had like to be exposed on his account, and for no purpose whatever? Oh! I shall be revenged, I assure him.
Yes, Danceny is definitely the type of guy who will get you nothing. If he’s said anything to you, he’s just boasting. I don’t know anyone who’s more clueless when it comes to love, and I keep regretting the effort we’re putting in for him. Can you believe I almost got embarrassed because of him, and for no reason at all? Oh! I am definitely going to get my revenge, that’s for sure.
When I called yesterday on Madame de Volanges, she had altered her mind; she would not go out; she said she was indisposed, and I was forced to make use of all my eloquence to bring her to a resolution; and the moment was drawing near that Danceny would have arrived before we set out; which would have been so much the more awkward, as Madame de Volanges had told him the evening before, she would not be at home: her daughter and I were upon thorns.
When I called on Madame de Volanges yesterday, she had changed her mind; she didn’t want to go out. She said she wasn’t feeling well, and I had to use all my persuasive skills to get her to agree. The moment was getting closer when Danceny would arrive before we left, which would have been really awkward since Madame de Volanges had told him the night before that she wouldn’t be home. Her daughter and I were on edge.
At length we set out; and the little thing squeezed my hand so affectionately, bidding me adieu, that in spite of her project for a rupture, which she was seriously engaged in, I prognosticated wonders from the evening’s amusement.
At last, we set off; and the little one squeezed my hand so affectionately, saying goodbye, that despite her plan to break things off, which she was seriously considering, I expected great things from the evening's fun.
But my uneasiness was not to end thus. We were scarcely half an hour at Madame de ——’s, when Madame de Volanges was really taken ill, and wanted to return home: but I, who was afraid that we should surprise the young people, as there was every reason to dread, took the resolution to alarm her on the score of her health, which fortunately is not very difficult, and detained her an hour and a half without consenting to bring her back, lest the motion of the carriage should be prejudicial to her. At length we returned at the hour agreed on. By the bashful look I observed at our arrival, I own I thought that, at least, our labour was not lost.
But my discomfort was far from over. We had barely been at Madame de ——'s for half an hour when Madame de Volanges actually fell ill and wanted to go home. However, fearing that we might catch the young people by surprise, which was a real concern, I decided to raise alarms about her health, something that thankfully isn't too hard to do. I kept her there for an hour and a half, refusing to take her back, worried that the movement of the carriage might be harmful to her. Finally, we went back at the agreed time. From the shy expression I noticed upon our arrival, I must admit I thought that maybe our efforts weren’t in vain after all.
The strong inclination that I had to be satisfied, made me remain with Madame de Volanges, who immediately went to bed; and after having supped by her bedside, we came away soon, in order to leave her to her repose, and went into her daughter’s apartment. She, on her part, did every thing I expected from her; scruples fled, new oaths of constancy, &c. &c. but that blockhead Danceny did not advance a step farther than he was before. One can quarrel with him safely, for the reconciliation would not be difficult; the little thing, however, says, that he wanted farther advantages, but she knew how to defend herself: I would venture, however, to lay a wager, that she brags, or, at least, excuses him, and I am even almost certain of it. I took it into my head, to know what defence she was capable of making; and from question to question, I warmed her imagination to such a degree—in short, you may believe me, there never was a person more susceptible of a sensitive surprise than she is. This little dear creature is truly amiable; she deserves a better lover; she, at least, shall have a good friend, for I am most sincerely attached to her. I have promised to model her, and I believe I’ll keep my word. I have often perceived the want of a female confident, and I would rather have her than any other; but I can’t make any thing of her, until she is—what she must be; that is one more reason for being angry with Danceny.
The strong desire I had to feel fulfilled kept me with Madame de Volanges, who went to bed right away; after having dinner by her bedside, we left quickly to let her rest and went to her daughter’s room. She, for her part, did everything I expected from her; all her scruples disappeared, new promises of loyalty, etc., etc., but that fool Danceny didn’t make any progress beyond where he was before. It's easy to argue with him since making up won’t be difficult; however, the girl says he wanted more from her, but she knew how to defend herself. Still, I would bet that she either brags about him or at least makes excuses for him, and I’m almost certain of it. I got the idea to see how well she could defend herself, and little by little, I got her imagination going—honestly, you can believe me, there’s never been anyone more easily surprised than she is. This little dear is truly charming; she deserves a better lover, but she will at least have a good friend because I'm genuinely fond of her. I promised to guide her, and I believe I’ll keep that promise. I've often felt the need for a female confidante, and I'd rather have her than anyone else; but I can't really do anything with her until she becomes—what she needs to be. That’s yet another reason to be upset with Danceny.
Farewell, Viscount; do not come to my house to-morrow, unless it be in the morning. I have acquiesced to the pressing invitations of the Chevalier for a night at the villa.
Farewell, Viscount; don’t come to my house tomorrow, unless it's in the morning. I've agreed to the Chevalier's persistent invites for a night at the villa.
Sept. 4, 17—.
Sept. 4, 17—.
LETTER LV.
CECILIA VOLANGES to SOPHIA CARNAY.
CECILIA VOLANGES to SOPHIA CARNAY.
You were in the right, my dear Sophy; thy prophesies are more successful than thy advice. Danceny, as you predicted, has been stronger than my confessor, than you, or even myself; we are just as we were before. I am not sorry for it; and if thou art, and that you scorn me, it is because you are a stranger to the pleasure I have in loving Danceny. It is easy to lay down rules how we should act; but if you had ever experienced the distress we feel for those we love, how we participate in his joys, how difficult it is to say no, when we wish to say yes, you would no longer be astonished: I who have already sensibly felt it, cannot as yet conceive it. Now, can you believe that I can see Danceny cry, without crying myself? That, I assure you, is impossible; and when he is pleased, I am happy; it is in vain to talk about it; what is, must be, and I am sure it is so.
You were right, my dear Sophy; your predictions are more spot on than your advice. Danceny, just like you said, has been stronger than my confessor, you, or even me; we’re exactly where we were before. I'm not upset about it; and if you are, and you look down on me, it’s because you don’t understand the joy I find in loving Danceny. It’s easy to suggest how we should behave; but if you had ever felt the anguish we experience for those we love, how we share in his happiness, how tough it is to say no when we want to say yes, you wouldn’t be surprised anymore: I, who have already felt it deeply, still can’t fully grasp it. Now, do you honestly think I can watch Danceny cry without crying myself? I assure you, that’s impossible; and when he’s happy, I am too; there’s no point in discussing it; what is, is, and I’m sure that’s how it is.
I wish you were in my room;—but that is not what I mean to say; for certainly I would not give place to any one: but I wish you were in love with somebody; it is not only that you should understand me better, but that you should have less reason to find fault; but also that you should be happier, or, rather, that you should begin to taste of happiness.
I wish you were in my room;—but that’s not what I really mean to say; because I wouldn’t want to give up my space for anyone else: I just wish you were in love with someone. It’s not just so you’d understand me better, but also so you’d have fewer reasons to complain; and I want you to be happier, or rather, to start experiencing happiness.
Our amusements, our trifles, and all that, is folly; but in love, a word, a look only, is the summit of happiness. When I see Danceny, I wish for nothing more: when he is from me, I wish for nothing but him. I cannot account for it: but I imagine that every thing that pleases me, bears a resemblance to him. When he is absent from me, I dream of him; and when I can think of him without being disturbed, that is, when I am alone, I am happy. When I close my eyes, I think I see him; I recall his conversation, and I think I hear him speak; then I sigh—I feel myself agitated in a strange manner—it is a kind of sensation; I don’t know what to call it; but it is inexpressibly delightful.
Our distractions and little things are silly; but in love, a word or a glance is the peak of happiness. When I see Danceny, I want nothing more; when he’s away from me, I only want him. I can't explain it, but I think everything that makes me happy resembles him. When he’s not with me, I dream about him; and when I can think of him without interruption, which is when I'm alone, I feel happy. When I close my eyes, I think I see him; I remember our conversations, and I think I hear him talking; then I sigh—I feel strangely stirred—it’s a kind of feeling; I don't know how to describe it, but it’s incredibly delightful.
I am apt to think, that when one is in love, it diffuses itself to our friendship: that I have for thee, has never altered; it is always the same as it was at the convent; but that I experience with Madame de Merteuil, is more like the affection I have for Danceny than that I have for thee; and I sometimes wish she was a man; that is, perhaps, because it is not a childish friendship like ours; or else, that I see them so often together. But this I am sure of, between them both they make me very happy. After all, I don’t think there is any great harm in what I do. I wish I was to remain as I am; for there is nothing gives me uneasiness but the thoughts of my marriage. And if Mr. de Gercourt is so disagreeable as he is described to me, which I have no doubt of, I don’t know what will become of me. Adieu, my dear Sophy; I love thee most affectionately.
I tend to think that when someone is in love, it spreads to our friendships. The love I have for you has never changed; it’s always been the same as it was at the convent. However, what I feel for Madame de Merteuil is more like the affection I have for Danceny than what I have for you, and sometimes I wish she were a man. Maybe it’s because our friendship isn’t as childish as ours is, or maybe it’s simply because I see them together so often. But I’m certain about one thing—they both make me very happy. Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what I’m doing. I wish I could just stay as I am because the only thing that makes me uneasy is the thought of my marriage. If Mr. de Gercourt is as unpleasant as everyone says he is, which I believe he is, I don’t know what will happen to me. Goodbye, my dear Sophy; I love you very much.
Sept. 4, 17—.
Sept. 4, 17—.
LETTER LVI.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The President De Tourvel to the VALMONT, VISCOUNT.
What purpose would it answer, Sir, to give a reply to your request? For to agree with your opinions would be a stronger motive to beware of them; and without either attacking or defending their sincerity, it is enough for me, and ought to be so for you also, to know, that I neither ought or will answer them.
What purpose would it serve, Sir, to respond to your request? Agreeing with your views would only make me more cautious of them; and without either criticizing or supporting their sincerity, it’s enough for me—and should be for you too—to know that I neither should nor will answer them.
Let us suppose for a moment, that you may have a sincere affection for me, (and it is only that we may have done with this subject, that I admit this supposition), would the obstacles that separate us be the less insurmountable; and ought not my wishes to be still the same, that you should overcome this passion, and every effort of mine employed to assist you, by hastening to deprive you of all manner of hope? You agree that this idea must hurt, when the object that inspires it does not share it. You are sufficiently convinced that it is impossible for me to share it; and if even I experienced such a misfortune, I should be the more to be pitied, without adding in the least to your happiness. I hope I have such a share in your esteem, that you will not call what I now say in question. Cease, then, I conjure you, cease to disturb a heart to which tranquillity is so necessary; do not oblige me to regret my acquaintance with you.
Let’s suppose for a moment that you might have genuine feelings for me (and I only admit this to wrap up this topic). Would the obstacles keeping us apart really be any less difficult to overcome? Shouldn’t my wishes still be the same: that you move past this feeling, and that I do everything I can to help you by taking away any hope? You agree this idea must hurt when the person who inspires it doesn’t feel the same. You know well that I can’t return those feelings, and even if I did, it would only make me more pitiful without bringing you any happiness. I hope I have enough of a place in your esteem that you won’t doubt what I’m saying now. Please, I urge you, stop disturbing a heart that needs peace; don’t make me regret knowing you.
Beloved and esteemed by a husband, who I love and respect, my duty and pleasure are united in the same object; I am happy; I ought to be so. If there are more lively pleasures existing, I wish them not; I will not be acquainted with them. Can any be so pleasing as to be at peace with oneself, to enjoy days of serenity, to sleep without disturbance, and to awake without remorse? What you call happiness, is the tumult of the senses, the storm of passions, the aspect of which is dreadful, even viewing it from the shore; and who then would encounter such storms? Who would dare embark upon a sea spread with thousands and thousands of wrecks, and with whom? No, Sir, I will remain upon land; I cherish the links with which I am attached; I would not break them if I could; and if even I was not bound, I would speedily wear them.
Loved and valued by a husband whom I adore and respect, my duty and joy come together in the same purpose; I am happy, and I should be. If there are more exciting pleasures out there, I don't want them; I won't seek them out. Can anything be more satisfying than being at peace with oneself, enjoying calm days, sleeping without interruption, and waking up without guilt? What you call happiness is merely a whirlwind of sensations, a storm of emotions, which looks frightening even from the shore; so who would choose to face such storms? Who would dare to set sail on a sea littered with thousands of wrecks, and with whom? No, sir, I will stay on solid ground; I cherish the connections I have; I wouldn't break them if I could; and even if I weren't tied down, I'd quickly choose to be.
Why do you pursue my steps? Why do you obstinately follow me? Your letters, which were to be but seldom, succeed each other with rapidity; they were to be discreet, and you entertain me with nothing but your mad passion. You surround me with your ideas, more than you did with your person; put away under one form, you again appear under another. The things I desire you to be silent upon, you say over again in another manner. You take a pleasure in perplexing me, by captious reasons, and you evade mine. I will not reply to you any more:—how you treat the women you have seduced! how contemptibly do you speak of them! I will readily believe some of them deserve it; but are they all then so contemptible? Ah, doubtless they are, since they have relinquished virtue, to give themselves up to a criminal passion; in that moment they lost all, even the esteem of him to whom they sacrificed every thing! This punishment is just; but the idea alone is enough to make one shudder; but what is all this to me? Why should I trouble myself about you or them; what right have you to disturb my peace? Leave me. See me no more; write me no more, I beseech you; I even require it. This letter shall be the last you will ever receive from me.
Why are you chasing after me? Why do you stubbornly follow me? Your letters, which were supposed to be rare, are coming one after another way too quickly; they were meant to be subtle, yet all you do is overwhelm me with your wild emotions. You surround me with your thoughts more than you did with your presence; when you hide behind one mask, you show up with another. The things I wish you would keep quiet about, you just rephrase in a different way. You seem to enjoy confusing me with your tricky arguments while dodging mine. I won’t respond to you anymore:—look how you treat the women you've seduced! How disrespectfully you talk about them! I can believe that some of them deserve it; but are they all that worthless? Ah, I guess they must be, since they've given up their virtues for a sinful passion; in that moment they lost everything, even the respect of the one to whom they sacrificed it all! This punishment may be fair, but just the thought of it is chilling; but what does any of this matter to me? Why should I care about you or them? What right do you have to disrupt my peace? Leave me alone. Don’t come near me again; don’t write to me anymore, I’m begging you; I even demand it. This letter will be the last you ever receive from me.
Sept. 5, 17—.
Sept. 5, 1717—.
LETTER LVII.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
VALMONT VISCOUNT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
I received your letter yesterday at my return. Your anger is enchanting. You could not have felt Danceny’s errors in a more lively manner, if they had even affected yourself. It is undoubtedly for the sake of revenge, that you accustom his mistress to commit little infidelities: you are a mischievous creature. How delightful you are! and I am not astonished that one can resist you less than Danceny. At length I have gained the confidence of this hero of romance. He has no longer any secrets with me. I much extolled the supreme happiness attendant on an honourable passion; proved that one such passion was infinitely superior to ten intrigues; and that even I am but a timid lover. He was so pleased with this way of thinking, it being so conformable to his own, and enchanted with my candour, that he poured out his whole soul, and vowed an everlasting friendship without reserve; however, our project is not more advanced.
I got your letter yesterday when I came back. Your anger is captivating. You couldn't have felt Danceny’s mistakes more intensely if they affected you directly. You're definitely getting his mistress used to having little affairs for the sake of revenge: you’re such a troublemaker. How delightful you are! I’m not surprised that it’s harder to resist you than Danceny. I finally have gained the trust of this romantic hero. He has no more secrets from me. I praised the incredible happiness that comes with a noble love, argued that one true passion is far better than ten flings, and even confessed that I’m just a shy lover. He was so happy with this perspective since it matched his own, and he was charmed by my honesty, that he opened up completely and promised an everlasting friendship without holding anything back; however, our plan hasn’t moved forward at all.
At first he seemed of opinion, that a young lady should be treated more cautiously than a woman, as having more to lose. He is particularly persuaded, that a man is unjustifiable, who reduces a girl to the necessity of marrying him, or living dishonoured, when the girl is in much more affluent circumstances than the man, as is his present case. The mother’s confidences, the daughter’s candour; every thing intimidates and restrains him. The difficulty lies not in overruling his arguments, however just. With the assistance of his passion, and a little address, they might soon be overturned, being so open to ridicule, and so opposite to fashion. But the obstacle to this having the effect upon him is, that he thinks himself happy as he is. First amours appear, in general, more honourable, or, as it is called, more chaste, because they are slower, and not, as is imagined, from delicacy or timidity: in those, the heart, astonished by an insensible instinct, stops, as it were, to enjoy the delight it feels; and this powerful delight takes such strong possession of a young mind, as absorbs it, and renders it callous to every other kind of enjoyment. This axiom is so true, that a libertine when in love, if such a being exists, becomes from that moment less anxious of enjoyment; and to sum up all, between the behaviour of Danceny and the little Volanges, and mine with the prude, Madame de Tourvel, the difference is only in degree. A few well-timed obstacles thrown in the young man’s way, might have been serviceable; for obstacles, accompanied with mystery, have a wonderful effect in inspiring boldness. I am apprehensive you have hurt our scheme by being too useful to him; your conduct would have been excellent with an experienced man, who had no view beyond desire: but you might have foreseen, that a youth of honourable dispositions, and immersed in love, the greatest value of favours, is to be proof against love; and consequently, the more certain he might be of being beloved, the less enterprising he would be. What is to do now, I know not; but I am of opinion, the girl cannot be caught before marriage, and that our labour will be lost. I am very sorry for it, but there is no remedy.
At first, he seemed to believe that a young lady should be treated more cautiously than a woman, since she has more to lose. He particularly feels that a man is unjust if he forces a girl into the choice of marrying him or living in disgrace, especially when the girl is in a much better position than he is, as is the case now. The mother’s confidences and the daughter’s openness intimidate and hold him back. The challenge isn't in countering his arguments, no matter how reasonable they are. With the help of his passion and a little charm, those arguments could be easily dismissed, as they are so open to ridicule and so out of style. But the real barrier for him is that he thinks he’s happy as things are. First loves generally seem more honorable, or as some say, more pure, because they develop slowly, not out of delicacy or shyness. During those moments, the heart, struck by a subtle instinct, pauses to savor the joy it feels; and this powerful joy can overwhelm a young mind, making it indifferent to any other type of pleasure. This truth is so evident that when a libertine falls in love—a rare occurrence—it tends to make him less focused on pleasure. To sum it up, the difference between Danceny's behavior and that of the young Volanges, as well as my interaction with the prude, Madame de Tourvel, is just a matter of degree. A few well-placed obstacles could have been helpful; obstacles accompanied by mystery can greatly encourage boldness. I fear you've jeopardized our plan by being too helpful to him. Your approach would have been perfect with an experienced man who only sought desire: but you might have anticipated that a young man of honorable character, deeply in love, values favors more as a way to resist love. Therefore, the more certain he feels of being loved, the less daring he’ll be. I'm not sure what to do now, but I believe the girl can't be won over before marriage, and that our efforts will be in vain. I’m very sorry about it, but there’s no solution.
Whilst I am writing a dissertation on this business, you are better employed with your Chevalier. That recalls to my memory your promise to commit an infidelity in my favour; I have it in writing, and I don’t intend it should be waste paper. I will allow, the time of payment is not expired: it would be a generous act in you not to wait the day fixed for discharging it; on my part, I would acknowledge myself your debtor for the interest. What say you, my lovely friend; are not you tired of your constancy? This Chevalier is a wonderful fellow, it seems. But I am determined to compel you to acknowledge, that if you found any merit in him, it arose from your having forgot me.
While I’m working on this business dissertation, you’re better off with your Chevalier. That reminds me of your promise to have an affair for my sake; I have it in writing, and I don’t intend for it to just gather dust. I’ll admit, the deadline hasn’t passed yet: it would be generous of you not to wait until the agreed day to settle it; on my end, I would acknowledge that I owe you interest. What do you say, my lovely friend? Aren’t you tired of being so loyal? This Chevalier seems like a great guy. But I’m determined to make you realize that if you see any merit in him, it’s only because you’ve forgotten about me.
Adieu, my dear friend! I embrace you as ardently as I desire to possess you. I defy all the Chevalier’s embraces to attain to an equal degree of ardour.
Adieu, my dear friend! I hold you close with as much passion as I wish to have you. I challenge all of the Chevalier's embraces to match this level of intensity.
Sept. 5, 17—.
Sept. 5, 1717—.
LETTER LVIII.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
Viscount Valmont to the President de Tourvel.
How is it I deserved the reproaches you make me, and the indignation you express against me? The most violent, and yet the most respectful attachment, the most absolute submission to your will, is, in a few words, the history of my conduct and sentiments towards you. Sinking under the weight of an unhappy passion, the only consolation left was to see you; you ordered me to depart, and I obeyed without murmuring. For this sacrifice you permitted me to write to you, and now I am to be deprived of this only satisfaction. But shall I then have it torn from me without a struggle? No, certainly; it is too dear: it is the only one that remains, and I hold it from you.
How did I end up deserving the criticism you give me and the anger you feel towards me? My feelings for you can be summed up as the most intense yet respectful attachment, complete submission to your wishes. That’s the story of my actions and feelings toward you. Overwhelmed by an unhappy love, the only comfort I had was seeing you; when you told me to leave, I complied without complaint. You allowed me to write to you as a sacrifice for this, and now you're taking away my one source of comfort. But will I really let this be taken from me without a fight? Absolutely not; it’s too precious to me. It’s the only thing I have left, and I’ll hold onto it.
You say my letters are too frequent. I beg you will reflect, that for these ten days that I have been exiled from you, a single moment has not passed that was not taken up in thinking of you, and yet I have wrote you but two letters. I entertain you with nothing but my mad passion. Ah! what can I say but what I think? All I could do, was to soften the expression; and I hope you will believe me when I assure you, I have only let you see what I could not hide. At length you threaten to answer me no more. And thus the man who prefers you to every thing, and whose respect is still greater than his love, you are not content to treat with the utmost severity, but add to it contempt. But why all those threats and this wrath? What occasion for them, when you are certain to be obeyed, even in your unjust orders? Is it then possible for me to contradict your wishes; and have I not already proved it? But will you abuse your power over me? After having made me miserable, after all your injustice, will it be an easy matter for you to enjoy that tranquillity that you say is so necessary to you? Will you never tell yourself—he made me arbitress of his fate, and I made him miserable; he implored my aid, and I did not even give him a compassionate glance—Do you know how far despair may drive me? No.
You say I write to you too often. Please think about this: during the ten days I've been far from you, not a moment has gone by that I haven't thought about you, and yet I've only written you two letters. I'm just sharing my crazy passion with you. What more can I say than what I truly feel? All I could do was soften my words, and I hope you'll believe me when I say I've only shown you what I couldn't keep hidden. Now you're threatening to stop responding to me. This treatment is harsh for someone who values you above everything and whose respect for you is even greater than his love. Why all these threats and anger? What’s the point when you know I’ll obey you, even with your unfair demands? Is it really possible for me to go against what you want? I've already shown that I can't. But will you misuse your power over me? After making me suffer, after all your unfairness, do you think it will be easy for you to find the peace you claim you need? Will you ever think to yourself—he gave me control over his life, and I made him miserable; he begged for my help, and I didn't even give him a sympathetic look—Do you have any idea how desperate I might become? No.
To sooth my cares, you should know the extent of my passion, and you do not know my heart.
To ease my worries, you should understand how deep my feelings run, and you don’t really know my heart.
But to what am I made a sacrifice? To chimerical fears. Who inspired them? The man who adores you; a man over whom you will ever have an absolute sway. What do you dread, what can you dread, from a sentiment that you will always have the power to direct at your pleasure? Your imagination creates monsters, and the fears they raise you attribute to love. With a little confidence those fears will vanish.
But what am I sacrificing myself for? For imaginary fears. Who created them? The man who loves you; a man you will always have complete control over. What do you fear, what can you fear, from a feeling that you can always manage at your will? Your imagination creates monsters, and the fears they stir up you blame on love. With a bit of confidence, those fears will disappear.
A learned writer has said, that in order to dispel one’s fears, it would be almost always sufficient to search the cause[1]. It is to love, above all others, that this truth is applicable. Love and your apprehensions will subside. In the room of terrifying objects, you will find a tender submissive lover, and a delicious sentiment; your days will be marked with bliss; and the only regret you will have, will be to have lost so much time in indifference. Myself even, since I have abandoned my errors, exist no longer but for love. I regret the time spent in pleasure; and I feel it is from you alone my happiness must proceed. But let me entreat you, that the pleasure I have in writing to you may not be interrupted by the dread of offending. I will not disobey you; but lay myself at your feet, and there reclaim the happiness you want to deprive me of; the only one that is left me. I call on you; hear my prayers, and behold my tears. Ah, Madam! will you refuse me?
A wise writer once said that to overcome one's fears, it’s usually enough to identify their source[1]. This idea is especially true when it comes to love. With love, your worries will fade away. Instead of frightening things, you’ll find a gentle and devoted partner, along with a beautiful feeling; your days will be filled with happiness, and the only regret you’ll have will be that you wasted so much time being indifferent. Even I, having let go of my past mistakes, now live only for love. I regret the time wasted on mere pleasure; I realize that my happiness can only come from you. But please, I ask that my joy in writing to you isn’t overshadowed by the fear of offending you. I won’t go against your wishes; I will humbly place myself at your feet and reclaim the joy you seem to want to take from me—the only joy I have left. I reach out to you; please hear my pleas and see my tears. Oh, Madam! Will you turn me away?
Sept. 7, 17—.
Sept. 7, 17—.
[1] It is imagined Rousseau in his Emily; but the citation is not exact, and the application that Valmont makes is false; and, perhaps, Madame de Tourvel had not read Emily.
[1] It’s thought that Rousseau is referenced in his Emile; however, the citation isn't accurate, and the way Valmont uses it is incorrect; and, perhaps, Madame de Tourvel hadn’t read Emile.
LETTER LIX.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
VALMONT VISCOUNT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Pray inform me, if you can, what is all this nonsense of Danceny. What has happened, and what has he lost? His fair one, perhaps, is angry at his constant respect; and really one would be vexed at a smaller matter. What shall I say to him to-night at the rendezvous he requested, and which I have given him at all events. I shall most certainly lose my time to attend his doleful ditty, if it does not lead us to something. Passionate complaints are supportable only in a recitative obligato, or in grand airs. Give me your directions then about this business, and what I am to do; otherwise I shall desert, to avoid the dulness I foresee. Could I have a little chat with you this morning? If you are busy, at least give me a line, and the catchword for the part I am to act.
Please let me know, if you can, what all this fuss about Danceny is. What happened, and what has he lost? Maybe his lady is upset with his constant respect; honestly, anyone would be annoyed over something smaller. What should I say to him tonight at the meeting he asked for, which I've agreed to anyway? I'm definitely going to waste my time listening to his sad song if it doesn't lead to something. Complaints like these are only tolerable in a dramatic form or grand performances. So, give me your advice on this matter and what I should do; otherwise, I'm out of here to escape the boredom I see coming. Can I have a quick chat with you this morning? If you're busy, just drop me a note with the key points for my part.
Where was you yesterday? I can never now have the pleasure of seeing you. At this rate, it was not worth while to keep me in Paris in the month of September. Take some resolution, however; for I have just received a most pressing invitation from the Countess de B——, to go see her in the country; and she writes very humorously, “that her husband has the finest wood in the world, which he preserves carefully for the amusement of his friends;” and you know I have some kind of right to that wood. I will go see it again, if you have no employment for me. Adieu! Remember Danceny is to be with me at four o’clock.
Where were you yesterday? I can’t believe I won’t get to see you now. At this rate, it’s not worth my staying in Paris in September. But make a decision; I just got a really urgent invitation from Countess de B—— to visit her in the countryside. She humorously writes that her husband has the best wooded area in the world, which he keeps just for the enjoyment of his friends, and you know I have some rights to that place. I’ll go check it out again if you don’t have anything for me to do. Goodbye! Remember, Danceny will be with me at four o’clock.
Sept. 8, 17—.
Sept. 8, 17—.
LETTER LX.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
Chevalier Danceny to the Viscount de Valmont.
(Enclosed in the preceding.)
(Included in the previous.)
Ah, Sir! I am in a state of desperation; all is lost. I dare not confide to paper the cause of my troubles; but want to pour them forth in the bosom of some faithful friend. At what hour can I see you, to seek consolation and advice from you? I was so happy the day I opened my mind to you; now, what an alteration! every thing is adverse to me. What I suffer upon my own account is the least part of my torments; my uneasiness for a much dearer object is what I cannot support. You, who are happier than me, can see her; and I expect from your friendship that you will not refuse me: but I must speak to you, and give you your instructions. I know you will pity and assist me. In you my hopes are centered. You are sensible; you know what love is, and you are the only one in whom I can confide: do not refuse me your assistance.
Ah, Sir! I’m in a state of desperation; everything is lost. I can’t bring myself to write down the reasons for my troubles; I just want to share them with a loyal friend. When can I see you to seek comfort and advice? I was so happy the day I opened up to you; now, what a change! Everything is against me. What I’m enduring for my own sake is the least of my pain; my worry for someone much dearer is something I can’t bear. You, who are happier than I am, can see her; and I trust that you, as my friend, won’t refuse me: but I really need to talk to you and give you instructions. I know you will understand and help me. My hopes are pinned on you. You’re wise; you know what love is, and you’re the only one I can trust: please don’t deny me your help.
Adieu, Sir! the only relief I experience in my sorrow, is to think I have still such a friend as you left. Pray inform me, at what hour I can find you at home; if it is not this morning, I beg it may be early in the afternoon.
Adieu, Sir! The only comfort I find in my sadness is knowing I still have a friend like you. Please let me know what time I can find you at home; if not this morning, I hope it can be early in the afternoon.
Sept. 8, 17—.
Sept. 8, 17—.
LETTER LXI.
CECILIA VOLANGES to SOPHIA CARNAY.
Cecilia Volanges to Sophia Carnay.
My dear Sophy, pity thy poor Cecilia; she is very unhappy. Mamma knows all. I cannot conceive how she had any suspicion; and yet she has discovered every thing. Last night mamma appeared to be a little out of temper; but I did not take any notice of it; and whilst she was at cards, I chatted very agreeably with Madame de Merteuil, who supped with us. We had a great deal of talk about Danceny; and yet I believe we were not overheard. She went away, and I retired to my apartment.
My dear Sophy, feel sorry for poor Cecilia; she’s very unhappy. Mom knows everything. I can’t imagine how she even suspected anything, yet she found out everything. Last night, Mom seemed a bit irritable, but I didn’t pay any attention to it; while she played cards, I had a nice conversation with Madame de Merteuil, who had dinner with us. We talked a lot about Danceny, and I think we weren’t overheard. She left, and I went to my room.
I was undressing when mamma came in, and ordered my waiting maid to retire; she demanded the key of my escrutoire. The tone in which she made this requisition threw me all in a flutter, so that I could scarcely support myself; I made believe I could not find it: but at length I was obliged to obey. The first drawer she opened was the very one where all Chevalier Danceny’s letters were. I was so perplexed, that when she asked me what they were, I could give her no other answer, but that it was nothing at all; but when I saw she began to read the first that offered, I had scarce time to fall into a chair, when I fainted. As soon as I recovered, my mother, who had called in the waiting maid, retired, desiring me to go to bed. She carried off all Danceny’s letters. I shudder every time I think that I must appear before her again. I have done nothing but cry all night.
I was getting undressed when Mom came in and told my maid to leave. She asked for the key to my writing desk. The way she made this request completely rattled me, and I could barely keep it together; I pretended I couldn't find it, but eventually, I had to give in. The first drawer she opened was the exact one that had all of Chevalier Danceny’s letters. I was so confused that when she asked me what they were, I could only say it was nothing. But when I saw her start reading the first one she picked up, I barely had time to sit down before I fainted. When I came to, my mom, who had called the maid back in, left, telling me to go to bed. She took all of Danceny’s letters with her. I shudder every time I think about having to face her again. I've been crying all night.
It is but just daylight, and I write to you, in hopes that Josephine will come. If I can speak to her alone, I shall beg of her to leave a note, that I shall write, with Madame de Merteuil; and if I cannot, I will put it in your letter, and you will be so good as to send it, as from yourself. It is from her alone that I can receive any consolation. We will, at least, speak of him, for I never hope to see him more. I am very unhappy. She perhaps will be kind enough to deliver a letter to Danceny. I dare not confide in Josephine, and still less in my waiting maid; for it is, perhaps, she that told my mother that I had letters in my desk.
It’s just getting light, and I’m writing to you, hoping that Josephine will come. If I can talk to her alone, I’ll ask her to leave a note that I’ll write with Madame de Merteuil; if not, I’ll include it in your letter, and you’ll kindly send it as if it’s from you. She’s the only one who can give me any comfort. At least we’ll talk about him, since I don't expect to see him again. I’m really unhappy. She might be nice enough to deliver a letter to Danceny. I can’t trust Josephine, and even less my maid; it’s probably her who told my mother that I had letters in my desk.
I will not write to you any more now, because I must have time to write to Madame de Merteuil and Danceny, and to have all my letters ready, if she will take charge of them; after that, I will go to bed again, that they may find me in bed when they come into my room. I will say I am ill, to prevent my being called to mamma. I shall not tell a great lie; for I surely suffer as much as if I had a fever. My eyes are inflamed with crying; and I have a weight at my stomach, which prevents me from breathing. When I think I never shall see Danceny more, I wish I was dead. Farewell, my dear Sophy. I can’t write any more; my tears suffocate me.
I won’t write to you anymore right now because I need time to write to Madame de Merteuil and Danceny, and to get all my letters ready in case she will take care of them. After that, I’ll go back to bed so they’ll find me there when they come into my room. I’ll say I’m sick to avoid being called by Mom. I won’t be lying too much, because I definitely feel as miserable as if I had a fever. My eyes are red from crying, and I have a heavy feeling in my stomach that makes it hard to breathe. When I think I’ll never see Danceny again, I wish I were dead. Goodbye, my dear Sophy. I can't write anymore; my tears are suffocating me.
Sept. 7, 17—.
Sep. 7, 17—.
LETTER LXII.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to CHEVALIER DANCENY.
Madame de Volanges to Chevalier Danceny.
You will certainly not be surprised, Sir, after having so grossly abused the confidence of a mother, and the innocence of a child, to be no longer admitted into a house where you have repaid the sincerest friendship with the blackest ingratitude. I prefer desiring you never more to appear here, rather than giving orders to my servants to refuse you admittance, which would affect us all, by the remarks that would infallibly be made. I have a right to expect you will not put me under the necessity of taking this step. I must also acquaint you, that if you should hereafter make the least attempt to keep up a correspondence with my daughter, a severe and everlasting confinement shall withdraw her from your solicitations. I leave it then to yourself, Sir, to determine whether you will be the cause of her misery, as you have attempted to be that of her dishonour. As to myself, my resolution is fixed, and she’s informed of it.
You won’t be surprised, Sir, after so completely betraying a mother’s trust and a child’s innocence, that you are no longer welcome in a house where you’ve returned genuine friendship with terrible ingratitude. I’d rather tell you never to come back than have my staff refuse you entry, which would cause gossip that would affect us all. I expect you won’t make me take that step. I also need to let you know that if you ever try to communicate with my daughter again, she will be kept away from you in a serious and permanent way. It’s up to you, Sir, to decide whether you want to be the reason for her unhappiness, just as you tried to be the cause of her dishonor. As for me, my decision is made, and she knows about it.
I send you, enclosed, all your letters; and I expect you will send me back those of my daughter; and that you will concur in leaving no mark of an event, the remembrance of which fills me with indignation; her with shame, as it should you with remorse.
I’m sending you all your letters enclosed, and I expect you to return my daughter’s letters to me. I hope you agree that we should erase any trace of an event that leaves me filled with anger and her with shame, and that it should also fill you with regret.
I have the honour, &c.
Sept. 7, 17—.
I’m honored, etc.
Sept. 7, 17—.
LETTER LXIII.
MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
Marchioness de Merteuil to Viscount de Valmont.
Yes, certainly, I can explain Danceny’s letter to you. The incident that gave birth to it is my work, and I think it a master-piece. I lost no time since I received your last letter; and, in the words of the Athenian architect, “What he has said, I will perform.”
Yes, of course, I can explain Danceny’s letter to you. The situation that inspired it is my doing, and I think it’s a masterpiece. I wasted no time since I got your last letter; and, in the words of the Athenian architect, “What he has said, I will do.”
There must be obstacles then for our hero of romance; and his happiness lulls him. Oh! leave that to me, I will cut out work for him; and I am much mistaken if he sleeps so quietly hereafter. It was necessary to make him sensible of his folly; and I flatter myself that he now regrets the opportunity he has let slip. You say also, that is necessary there should be a little mystery in the business: well, take my word for it, that shall not be wanting. I have this good quality, that if I am but told my faults, I am not at rest till I amend them. Now to inform you what I have done—at my return the day before yesterday, in the morning I received your letter, which is truly admirable. Being fully satisfied that you had very well pointed out the cause of the disorder, I set about finding the method of cure. But first I lay down; for the indefatigable Chevalier did not suffer me to take the least repose; and I thought I should sleep: but no; totally taken up with the thoughts of rousing Danceny from his lethargy, or punishing him for it, I could not close my eyes; and it was not until after I had well digested my plan, I got two hours repose.
There have to be challenges for our romantic hero, and his happiness makes him lazy. Oh! Leave that to me; I’ll create some work for him. I doubt he’ll sleep so soundly from now on. It was necessary for him to realize his mistakes, and I believe he now regrets the chance he let slip by. You also mentioned that a little mystery should be involved: well, trust me, that won’t be missing. I have this good quality: if someone points out my faults, I can’t rest until I fix them. Now, let me tell you what I’ve done—when I returned the day before yesterday, I received your letter in the morning, which is truly wonderful. Convinced that you identified the cause of the problem very well, I started looking for a way to fix it. But first, I tried to lie down; the relentless Chevalier didn’t let me get a moment's rest, and I thought I could sleep. But no; completely consumed with the thoughts of waking Danceny from his stupor or punishing him for it, I couldn’t close my eyes. It wasn’t until I had thoroughly considered my plan that I managed to get two hours of rest.
I went that same evening to see Madame de Volanges; and told her, in pursuance of my scheme, in a very confidential manner, I was very certain there subsisted between her daughter and Danceny a dangerous connection. This woman, so penetrating in your business, was blinded to such a degree, that at first she replied, I certainly was mistaken; her daughter was but a child, &c. &c. I could not venture to tell her all I knew: but quoted looks, words, which much alarmed my friendship and virtue. I spoke almost as well as a devotee: to give the finishing blow to my intelligence, I told her I thought I saw a letter given and received. That I also recollected she one day opened a drawer in her bureau, in which I observed several papers, which she doubtless carefully preserves. “Do you know any one she corresponds with frequently?” At that question Madame de Volanges’ countenance changed, and I observed some tears drop from her. “I thank you, my worthy friend,” said she, squeezing my hand; “I shall inquire into it.”
I went that same evening to see Madame de Volanges and told her, as part of my plan, in a very confidential manner, that I was sure there was a risky connection between her daughter and Danceny. This woman, who was usually so perceptive in your affairs, was surprisingly oblivious and initially replied that I must be mistaken; her daughter was just a child, and so on. I couldn't bring myself to tell her everything I knew, but I mentioned looks and words that greatly concerned my friendship and virtue. I spoke nearly as well as a devoted person would. To emphasize my point, I told her I thought I had seen a letter being exchanged. I also recalled that one day she opened a drawer in her bureau, where I noticed several papers that she surely keeps safe. “Do you know if she often corresponds with anyone?” At that question, Madame de Volanges' expression changed, and I saw tears fall from her. “Thank you, my dear friend,” she said, squeezing my hand; “I will look into it.”
After this conversation, which was too short to cause any suspicion, I joined company with the little thing. I left her soon after, to beg of the mother not to discover to her daughter what I had told; which she promised me the more readily, as I observed what a happy thing it was that this child had placed such a confidence in me as to open her heart, which gave me an opportunity of assisting her with my good advice. I am the more satisfied that she will keep her promise, as no doubt she will plume herself on her penetration with her daughter. Thus I am authorised to keep up the ton of friendship with the little one, without giving umbrage to Madame de Volanges, which must be avoided. I shall moreover by this means have opportunities of conversing as long and as secretly as I please with the daughter, without alarming the mother.
After this conversation, which was too brief to raise any suspicions, I spent time with the little one. I left her shortly after to ask her mother not to reveal to her daughter what I had said; she agreed more easily when I pointed out how wonderful it was that this child trusted me enough to share her feelings, giving me a chance to assist her with my good advice. I'm more confident that she will keep her promise, as she will undoubtedly take pride in her insight with her daughter. This way, I can maintain a friendly tone with the little one without causing any issues with Madame de Volanges, which must be avoided. Furthermore, this will allow me the chance to converse as long and as privately as I want with the daughter without worrying about alarming the mother.
This I put in practice that same evening; for after my party at cards was ended, I took the young one into a corner, and began upon the subject of Danceny, which never fatigues her; and diverted myself in heating her imagination with the pleasure she would have in seeing him the next day: there is no sort of extravagance but what she came into; it was necessary to pay her in hope, what I took from her in reality; moreover, this will make the blow the more sensible; and am confident that the more she suffers, the more ready she will be to make herself amends at the first opportunity. We ought to accustom those we intend for great adventures, to great events.
I put this into action that very evening; after my card game was over, I took the young one aside and started talking about Danceny, which she never tires of. I entertained myself by stirring her imagination with the excitement she would feel seeing him the next day. She went along with every wild idea I suggested; I figured I needed to pay her in hope for what I was taking from her in reality. Besides, this will make the eventual blow feel more intense, and I’m sure that the more she suffers, the more eager she will be to make it up to herself at the first chance. We should prepare those we intend for grand adventures for significant events.
After all, she may afford a few tears, for the pleasure of having her Danceny. She is distracted about him! Well, she shall have him; and perhaps the sooner for this little storm. It is a troublesome dream which will be most delicious at waking; and, take every thing together, I think she ought to be grateful. But to the point: I retired very well satisfied with myself. Either Danceny, said I, animated by obstacles, will redouble his affection, and then I will serve him to the utmost; or, if he is the booby I am sometimes inclined to think him, he will be desperate, and think himself undone: even then, I shall be revenged of him as much as in my power; I shall have increased the mother’s esteem for me, the daughter’s friendship, and the confidence of both. As to Gercourt, who is the first object of my care, I shall be very unfortunate, or very awkward indeed, if, having such an ascendant over his wife’s mind as I already have, and shall still have more, I did not find means of making him what I wish. I laid down with those pleasing ideas, slept very well, and did not awake till it was late.
After all, she can afford to shed a few tears for the joy of having Danceny. She's really preoccupied with him! Well, she will have him; and maybe this little crisis will make it happen sooner. It’s an annoying dream that will be so sweet to wake up from; honestly, I think she should be thankful. But to get to the point: I went to bed feeling pretty good about myself. Either Danceny, inspired by challenges, will strengthen his affection, and I’ll support him as much as I can; or, if he’s the fool I sometimes think he is, he’ll be desperate and feel like he’s finished: even then, I’ll get my revenge as much as I can; I’ll have gained the mother’s respect, the daughter’s friendship, and the trust of both. As for Gercourt, who is my main concern, I would have to be very unfortunate or incredibly clumsy if, having such influence over his wife’s mind as I already do and will have even more, I couldn’t find a way to make him do what I want. I went to sleep with these comforting thoughts, slept very well, and didn’t wake up until it was late.
In the morning I found two letters, one from the mother, and the other from the daughter; and could not help laughing to find in both literally this phrase,—“It is from you alone I expect any consolation.” And indeed it is pleasant enough to console for and against, and to be the sole agent of two interests so directly opposite. Thus I am like the Divinity, receiving the opposite vows of blind mortals, without altering my immutable decrees. However, I have quitted this grand roll, to take on me that of the consoling angel; and I went, according to the precept, to visit my two friends in their affliction.
In the morning, I found two letters, one from the mother and the other from the daughter; I couldn't help but laugh to see that both said literally this phrase: “It is from you alone I expect any consolation.” And honestly, it’s quite entertaining to provide comfort for both sides and to be the sole mediator of two completely opposing interests. So here I am, like a deity, receiving conflicting requests from clueless humans, without changing my unchangeable decisions. Still, I've set aside that grand role to take on the role of the comforting angel; and I went, as advised, to visit my two friends in their time of distress.
I began with the mother, who I found in a very melancholy situation, which partly revenges you, for the obstacles you have experienced from your charming prude. Every thing succeeded wonderfully; my only uneasiness was, lest Madame de Volanges should seize this opportunity of gaining her daughter’s confidence, which would have been a very easy matter, if she had used mild and friendly admonitions; and giving to the advice of reason the tone and air of indulgent tenderness. Fortunately she armed herself with severity; and behaved so badly, that nothing was left for me but to applaud. It is true she had like to have overthrown my plan entirely, by the resolution she had taken to shut up her daughter in the convent; but I warded the blow, and prevailed on her only to threaten it, in case Danceny should continue his pursuit, in order to oblige them both to a circumspection which I think so necessary for my success.
I started with the mother, who was in a very sad state, which somewhat avenges you for the troubles you've had with your charming prude. Everything went wonderfully; my only concern was that Madame de Volanges might take this chance to gain her daughter’s trust, which would have been easy if she had used gentle and friendly advice, infusing reason with a tone of tender indulgence. Luckily, she chose to be harsh and acted so badly that I could only applaud. It's true that she nearly ruined my plan entirely by deciding to lock her daughter away in the convent, but I managed to deflect that and convinced her to just threaten it, in case Danceny continued his pursuit, in order to ensure they both exercise the caution that I believe is crucial for my success.
From thence I went to the daughter: you cannot conceive how much grief embellished her: if I can only infuse a little coquetry into her, I will engage she will cry often: but now she wept sincerely.—Struck with this new charm, which I knew not before, and which I was very glad to observe, at first I gave her a few awkward consolations, which rather augment than relieve distress; and by this means led her to almost a state of suffocation. She cried no longer, and I really began to fear she would fall into convulsions. I advised her to go to bed, which she agreed to, and was her waiting maid: she had not dressed her head, her hair all loose upon her shoulders; her neck quite bare; I embraced her, she fell back in my arms, and her tears flowed again. Ye gods, how lovely she was! If the Magdalen was thus, she was much more dangerous as a penitent, than as a sinner.
From there, I went to see the daughter: you can’t imagine how much sadness adorned her. If I can just add a little flirtation to her, I bet she’ll cry often: but right now, she was crying genuinely. Struck by this new charm, which I hadn’t noticed before and was really pleased to see, I initially offered her a few awkward words of comfort that only added to her distress; this led her to almost suffocate. She stopped crying, and I genuinely started to worry she might have a seizure. I suggested she go to bed, which she agreed to, and I was her maid. She hadn't done her hair, it was all loose on her shoulders; her neck completely bare. I held her, and she leaned back into my arms, and her tears started flowing again. Oh, how beautiful she was! If Mary Magdalene looked like this, she was much more dangerous as a repentant than as a sinner.
When the lovely girl was in bed, I began really to comfort her in good earnest. I dispelled her fears of the convent, and raised her hopes of seeing Danceny privately; and sitting by the bedside, “If he was here now!” said I.—Enlarging on the subject, I led her from thought to fancy, so that she soon forgot her affliction. We should have parted perfectly satisfied with each other, had she not wanted to prevail on me to deliver a letter to Danceny, which I absolutely refused. I dare say my reasons will meet your approbation.
When the beautiful girl was in bed, I really started to comfort her sincerely. I eased her worries about the convent and lifted her hopes of seeing Danceny in private. Sitting by her bedside, I said, “If he were here right now!” Expanding on the topic, I guided her from thought to imagination, so she quickly forgot her troubles. We would have left completely satisfied with each other if she hadn’t tried to convince me to deliver a letter to Danceny, which I firmly refused. I’m sure my reasons will find your approval.
First, it would be running a risk with Danceny; but had that been the only reason I could have alleged with the girl, there are a great many others I must impart to you. Would it not be risking the fruits of all my labours, to give our young people so easy a method, and so speedily of putting a period to their distress? Moreover, I should not be sorry to oblige them employ a domestic in this adventure; for if it has a happy issue, as I hope it will, she must feel her consequence immediately after marriage; and I know no means so certain of spreading her fame; or if they did not speak, which would be miraculous indeed, we could speak for them, and it would be more convenient the indiscretion should lay with them.
First, it would be risky with Danceny; but if that were the only reason I could mention to the girl, there are many others I need to share with you. Wouldn’t it be jeopardizing all my efforts to give our young people such an easy and quick way to end their troubles? Also, I wouldn’t mind having a housekeeper involved in this situation; if it turns out well, as I hope it will, she’ll definitely feel important right after the marriage. I can't think of a better way to enhance her reputation; or if they don't talk about it, which would be quite surprising, we could speak on their behalf, making it more convenient for the indiscretion to fall on them.
You must then infuse this idea into Danceny to-day; as I cannot depend on the little Volanges’ waiting maid, whom she seems diffident of, you may point out my faithful Victoire. I shall take care to ensure success: this idea pleases me much, as the secret will be useful to us, and not to them; for I am not yet at the end of my story.
You need to share this idea with Danceny today; since I can't rely on the hesitant little Volanges’ maid, you might mention my loyal Victoire. I'll make sure it goes well: I really like this idea because the secret will benefit us, not them; I’m not done with my story yet.
Whilst I excused myself from taking her letter, I every moment dreaded she would have mentioned the penny-post, which I scarcely could have refused. Fortunately, through ignorance or distress, or that she was more anxious for the answer than the letter, which she could not have had by the same means, she never mentioned it; but to be guarded against this idea, if it should happen, or at least she should not have an idea of making use of it, I returned to her mother, and induced her to take her daughter to the country for a short time;—and where do you think? Does not your heart leap for joy? Why, to your old aunt’s, Madame de Rosemonde. She is to acquaint her of it this day: thus you are authorised to go to your beloved devotee, who can no longer object to the scandal of a tête-à-tête; and thanks to my industry, Madame de Volanges shall herself repair all the mischief she has done you.
While I avoided taking her letter, I constantly feared she might mention the penny-post, which I could barely refuse. Luckily, either because of ignorance or distress, or perhaps because she cared more about the response than the letter itself—which she couldn't have received that way—she never brought it up. To guard against the idea, in case it came up, or at least to prevent her from thinking of using it, I went back to her mother and convinced her to take her daughter to the country for a little while; and where do you think? Does your heart leap with joy? Well, to your old aunt's, Madame de Rosemonde. She is telling her about it today: so now you're free to visit your beloved devotee, who can no longer object to the scandal of a private meeting; and thanks to my efforts, Madame de Volanges will fix all the trouble she's caused you.
But hark ye, I must insist you are not to be so taken up with your own affairs as to neglect this; remember how much I am interested in it. I wish you to be not only the correspondent, but the confidant, of the two young ones; acquaint Danceny, then, of this journey, and make him a tender of your services. Remove every difficulty, but that of delivering your credentials to his fair one; and remove that obstacle, instantly, in pointing out the medium of my chamber-maid. Doubtless he will embrace it, and for your reward you will be the confidant of a young heart, which is ever of consequence. The poor little thing, how she will blush when she gives you her first letter! I cannot help thinking the character of a confidant, against which so many prejudices are formed, appears to be a tolerable relaxation, when one has other employment upon their hands, which is your case.
But listen, I have to insist that you shouldn't get so wrapped up in your own affairs that you neglect this; remember how much I care about it. I want you to be not just the correspondent but also the confidant of the two young ones. Let Danceny know about this trip, and offer him your help. Clear up any difficulties, except for the one of delivering your credentials to his lovely lady; and eliminate that issue right away by suggesting my chambermaid as the go-between. I'm sure he'll go for it, and as a reward, you'll be the confidant of a young heart, which always matters. The poor thing will blush so much when she hands you her first letter! I can't help but feel that being a confidant, which so many people have prejudices against, actually seems like a pretty good distraction when you have other things to keep you busy, which is your situation.
The denouement of this intrigue depends entirely upon you. You must watch the moment when you are to reunite your actors. The country offers a thousand opportunities, and Danceny will be ready to fly at your first signal; a night, a disguise, a window;—but if the little thing comes back as she goes, it is your fault; if you think she should want any assistance from me, let me know. I think I have given her a tolerable lesson on the danger of keeping letters, so I may now venture to write to her; and I am still determined to make her my pupil.
The conclusion of this plot completely relies on you. You need to pay attention to the moment when you’ll bring your characters together again. The country provides endless opportunities, and Danceny will be ready to jump at your first signal; a night, a disguise, a window;—but if the girl returns as she leaves, that's on you; if you think she should need any help from me, just let me know. I believe I've taught her a decent lesson about the risks of keeping letters, so I feel confident enough to write to her now; and I’m still committed to making her my student.
I believe I forgot to tell you her suspicions, in regard to her correspondent, at first fell upon the waiting maid; but I turned them off to the confessor; that is killing two birds with one stone.
I think I forgot to mention that her suspicions about her correspondent initially fell on the maid. But I redirected them to the confessor; that way, I handled two problems at once.
Adieu, Viscount! This letter has taken me a long time, and my dinner has been put back; but friendship and self-love dictated it.
Adieu, Viscount! Writing this letter took me a while, and I've had to push back my dinner; but friendship and self-love inspired me to do it.
You will receive it at three, that will be time enough.
You will get it at three; that will be enough time.
Complain of me now if you dare; and go, if you are inclined, to the Comte de B——’s wood: you say he keeps it for the amusement of his friends; that man is the friend of the world; but adieu! I am hungry.
Complain about me now if you’re brave enough; and go ahead, if you want, to the Comte de B——’s woods: you say he reserves it for the enjoyment of his friends; that guy is a friend to everyone; but goodbye! I’m hungry.
Sept. 9, 17—.
Sept. 9, 17—.
LETTER LXIV.
The CHEVALIER DANCENY to MADAME DE VOLANGES.
The Chevalier Danceney to Madame de Volanges.
(Annexed to the 66th Letter, from the Viscount to the Marchioness.)
(Annexed to the 66th Letter, from the Viscount to the Marchioness.)
Without seeking, Madam, to justify my conduct, and without the least cause of complaint of yours, I can only lament the unhappiness of three persons all worthy of a better fate. I beg leave to assure you, my chagrin, on this occasion, proceeds more from being the cause than the victim. Since yesterday, I have often endeavoured to do myself the honour of answering your letter, without being able to perform my resolution; yet I have so many things to say, that I must overcome every other consideration; and if this letter is incoherent, you may very well imagine that I stand in great need of your indulgence in my present painful situation.
Without trying to justify my actions, and without any complaint from you, I can only express my sadness for the three of us who all deserve a better outcome. I want to assure you that my distress in this situation comes more from being the cause than the victim. Since yesterday, I've tried to honor you by responding to your letter, but I haven’t been able to follow through. I have so much to say that I need to put everything else aside; and if this letter doesn’t make sense, you can understand that I really need your patience given my difficult situation right now.
Permit me, therefore, Madam, to demur against the first position of your letter. I venture to assure you, I have neither abused your confidence, nor Mademoiselle de Volanges’ innocence: I have paid a proper respect to one and the other, they alone depend on me; and were you to make me responsible for an involuntary sentiment, I shall not be afraid to declare, that the one Mademoiselle your daughter inspired me with, may perhaps displease, but ought by no means to offend you. This motive, which I feel more than I can express, I leave you and my letters to determine on.
Permit me, therefore, Madam, to respectfully disagree with the first point in your letter. I assure you, I have neither misused your trust nor taken advantage of Mademoiselle de Volanges’ innocence: I have treated both with the respect they deserve, as they are solely my responsibility; and if you hold me accountable for a feeling that arose unintentionally, I will not hesitate to say that the one your daughter, Mademoiselle, stirred in me may not sit well with you, but should not offend you in any way. This reason, which I feel more deeply than I can express, I leave for you and my letters to consider.
You forbid me to come to your house in future, and I most certainly will submit to your pleasure on this occasion; but give me leave to remonstrate, that such an abrupt absence will give as much cause to remarks you wish to avoid, as the orders you have declined giving, for the same reason, would create; and I think this consideration more important on Mademoiselle de Volanges’ account than my own. I therefore beseech you to weigh attentively those things, and not suffer your severity to get the better of your prudence. I am confident that the interest of your daughter alone will govern your resolutions; I shall therefore wait your farther commands.
You’ve told me I can’t come to your house anymore, and I’ll definitely respect your wishes this time; however, I want to point out that such a sudden absence will lead to just as many comments as the orders you refused to give would have caused for the same reason. I believe this is even more important for Mademoiselle de Volanges than for me. So, I kindly ask you to think carefully about this and not let your harshness override your wisdom. I’m sure that the well-being of your daughter will guide your decisions, so I will wait for your further instructions.
Yet, if you should think proper to permit me to wait upon you sometimes, I engage myself, Madam, (and you may depend upon my promise), I shall not attempt to abuse your condescension, by presuming to speak in private to Mademoiselle de Volanges, or convey any letter to her. The dread of doing any thing that might affect her reputation, influences me to this sacrifice; and the happiness of some time seeing her would be a sufficient recompence.
Yet, if you think it’s alright to let me visit you sometimes, I assure you, Madam (and you can count on my promise), I won’t take advantage of your kindness by trying to speak privately with Mademoiselle de Volanges or send her any letters. My fear of doing anything that could harm her reputation drives me to make this sacrifice; just the chance to see her again would be enough reward for me.
This part of my letter is the only answer I can make to the fate you intend for Mademoiselle de Volanges, and which you mean to be dependent on my conduct. It would be deceiving you to promise more. A vile seducer may make his projects subservient to circumstances, and calculate them to events; but the passion with which I am inspired admits of only two sentiments, courage and constancy.
This part of my letter is the only response I can give to the fate you have in mind for Mademoiselle de Volanges, which you plan to make dependent on my actions. It would be dishonest of me to promise anything more. A despicable seducer can adapt his plans to the situation and adjust according to events; but the passion I feel allows for only two feelings: courage and loyalty.
What me, Madam! me consent to be forgotten by Mademoiselle de Volanges, and I to forget her? No, never! I will be constant to her; she has received my vows, and I now again renew them. Forgive me, Madam; I am going astray; I must resume my reason.
What about me, Madam! Me agree to be forgotten by Mademoiselle de Volanges, and for me to forget her? No, never! I will remain faithful to her; she has accepted my promises, and I now renew them once again. Forgive me, Madam; I am losing my way; I need to regain my composure.
One thing more remains to be mentioned, in reply to the letters you require. I am really unhappy to be obliged to add a refusal to the wrongs you already charge me with: but I beseech you to attend to my reasons, and vouchsafe to remember to enhance their value: that the only consolation I have left for the loss of your friendship, is the hope of preserving your esteem.
One more thing needs to be said in response to the letters you asked for. I'm really sorry to have to add a refusal to the complaints you already have against me, but I urge you to consider my reasons and make an effort to understand their importance. The only comfort I have left from losing your friendship is the hope of keeping your respect.
Mademoiselle de Volanges’ letters, ever precious to me, become more so at this moment. They are my only felicity; they bring back to my remembrance the only charm of my life! Yet, I beg you will believe me, I would not hesitate a moment to sacrifice them to you; and the regret of being deprived of them, would give way to my strong desire of proving my most respectful obedience to your orders; but, very powerful considerations, which I am confident you yourself will not blame, prevent me.
Mademoiselle de Volanges’ letters, always precious to me, are even more so right now. They are my only happiness; they remind me of the only joy of my life! Still, I ask you to trust me, I wouldn’t think twice about giving them up for you; the sadness of losing them would be outweighed by my deep desire to show you my utmost respect and obedience to your wishes. However, strong reasons that I’m sure you won’t fault me for hold me back.
It is true you have got the secret from Mademoiselle de Volanges; but permit me to say, and I believe I am authorised, that it is the effect of surprise, and not of confidence. I do not pretend to blame the step you have taken, which may be sanctioned by your maternal care. I respect your right; but that will not dispense me from doing my duty. The most sacred of all, I conceive, is not to betray the confidence reposed in us. I should therefore be in the highest degree guilty, were I to expose to the eyes of another the secrets of a heart, which has been disclosed to me alone. If Mademoiselle your daughter consents they should be given up to you, let her speak—her letters are useless to you: if, on the contrary, she should think proper to keep her secrets to herself, you certainly will not expect, Madam, that I should disclose them.
It’s true you got the secret from Mademoiselle de Volanges; but let me say, and I believe I'm authorized to, that it's due to surprise, not trust. I’m not trying to criticize the action you've taken, which might be supported by your maternal care. I respect your right; but that doesn’t excuse me from doing my duty. The most important duty, in my opinion, is not to betray the trust placed in us. I would be deeply wrong if I were to share with anyone the secrets of a heart that has been shared with me alone. If your daughter agrees to let you have them, let her speak—her letters are of no use to you. If, however, she prefers to keep her secrets to herself, you certainly won’t expect me, Madam, to reveal them.
As to the secrecy in which you wish this event may remain, rest satisfied, Madam, that in every thing that concerns Mademoiselle de Volanges, I may even set the heart of a mother at defiance. But to take away all manner of uneasiness from you, I have provided against every accident. This precious deposit, which formerly was superscribed, Papers to be burnt, is endorsed at present, Papers belonging to Madame de Volanges. This resolution may sufficiently convince you that my refusal is not influenced by any dread that you should find in those letters, a single sentiment that you should have any personal cause to complain of.
Regarding the secrecy you want for this event, rest assured, Madam, that when it comes to Mademoiselle de Volanges, I’m not afraid to go against even a mother’s heart. To ease any worries you might have, I’ve prepared for any situation. This important document, which used to be labeled, Papers to be burnt, is now marked Papers belonging to Madame de Volanges. This decision should clearly show you that my refusal isn’t based on any fear that you might find anything in those letters that would give you a personal reason to complain.
This, Madam, is a very long letter. It would yet, however, be too short, if it left you room for the least doubt of the honour of my sentiments, the sincere regret I am under of having displeased you, and the profound respect with which I have the honour to be, &c.
This, Madam, is a very long letter. However, it would still be too short if it left you with any doubt about the sincerity of my feelings, my genuine regret for having upset you, and the deep respect I have for you, etc.
Sept. 7, 17—.
Sept. 7, 17—.
LETTER LXV.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to CECILIA VOLANGES.
Chevalier Danceny to Cecilia Volanges.
(Sent open to the Marchioness de Merteuil, in the 66th Letter of the Viscount.)
(Sent open to the Marchioness de Merteuil, in the 66th Letter of the Viscount.)
Ah, my Cecilia! what will become of us? What will save us from the miseries that hang over us? Love, at least, can give us resolution to support them. I cannot express my astonishment, my distraction, on seeing my letters, and reading Madame de Volanges’. Who is it can have betrayed us? On whom do your suspicions fall? Is it by any imprudent act of your own? How do you employ your time? What has been said to you? I wish to know all, and am ignorant of every thing. Perhaps you are in the same situation.
Ah, my Cecilia! What’s going to happen to us? What will save us from the struggles we’re facing? Love, at least, can give us the strength to endure them. I can’t express my shock and confusion at seeing my letters and reading Madame de Volanges’. Who could have betrayed us? Who do you suspect? Is it because of any careless actions on your part? How are you spending your time? What have people said to you? I want to know everything, and I’m completely in the dark. Maybe you feel the same way.
I enclose you your mamma’s letter, with a copy of my answer to it. I hope you will approve of what I wrote: and I want much to be satisfied whether you will approve of the steps I have taken since this fatal discovery, which all tend to hear from you, and to be able to write to you; and, who knows, perhaps to see you again with more freedom than ever.
I’m sending you your mom’s letter along with a copy of my response. I hope you like what I wrote, and I really want to know if you approve of the actions I’ve taken since this unfortunate discovery, which are all aimed at hearing from you and being able to write to you; and, who knows, maybe even seeing you again with more freedom than before.
I can’t express the joy, my Cecilia, I conceive at the prospect of seeing you once more; renewing my vows of eternal love, and receiving yours. Who would not bear torments to enjoy so much happiness! I have this prospect in view; and the methods I mean to take, are what I beseech you to approve. I am indebted for them to the anxiety of a worthy friend; and I only ask that you will permit my friend to be also yours.
I can’t express the joy, my Cecilia, I feel at the thought of seeing you again; redoing my promises of everlasting love and receiving yours in return. Who wouldn’t endure suffering for such happiness! I have this hope in mind, and the plans I intend to pursue are what I ask you to support. I owe these plans to the concerns of a good friend; I only ask that you allow my friend to be yours as well.
But, perhaps, I ought not to have engaged your confidence without your consent; misfortunes and necessity must plead in my favour. It is love led me on; it is love solicits your indulgence; implores you to forgive so necessary a confidence, without which we should be for ever separated.[1] You know the friend I mean; he is also the friend of the woman you love best—the Viscount Valmont.
But maybe I shouldn't have gained your trust without your permission; hardships and necessity should speak in my favor. It's love that pushed me forward; it's love that asks for your understanding; it begs you to forgive this crucial confidence, without which we would be forever apart.[1] You know the friend I'm talking about; he's also the friend of the woman you care about most—the Viscount Valmont.
My design was, to engage him first to prevail on Madame de Merteuil to deliver you a letter. He was of opinion this scheme would not succeed; but he will answer for her waiting-maid, who lays under some obligations to him. She will then deliver you this letter, and you may trust her with your answer.
My plan was to get him to convince Madame de Merteuil to give you a letter. He thinks this idea won't work, but he can vouch for her maid, who owes him a favor. She will then give you this letter, and you can trust her with your response.
This means will be of very little use, if, as Mr. de Valmont tells me, you are to set out immediately for the country: but in that case he will be our friend. The lady, to whose house you are going, is his near relation. He will make use of this pretence to go there at the same time that you do; and we can carry on our correspondence through him. He even assures me, if you leave the management to him, he will provide us the means of seeing each other, without danger of a discovery.
This will hardly be useful if, as Mr. de Valmont told me, you’re heading straight to the countryside: but in that case, he will be on our side. The woman whose house you’re going to is closely related to him. He plans to use this excuse to go there at the same time as you, and we can keep in touch through him. He even assures me that if you let him handle it, he’ll set up a way for us to meet without the risk of being found out.
Now, my dear Cecilia, if you love me, if you compassionate my misfortunes, if, as I hope, you partake my sorrows, you will not refuse your confidence to a man who will be our guardian angel. Were it not for his assistance, I should be reduced even to despair of being able to soften the distresses I have caused you: I hope they will soon be at an end. But, my dearest life, promise me not to give way to them; neither suffer yourself to be too much dejected. The idea of your grief is an insupportable torment to me. I would cheerfully die to make you happy; you know it well. May the certainty of being adored, bring some small consolation to your soul. Let me be assured you pardon the evils my love has made you suffer, for my consolation.
Now, my dear Cecilia, if you love me, if you feel for my troubles, and if, as I hope, you share in my sorrows, you won’t deny your trust to a man who will be our guardian angel. Without his help, I would be left in despair about being able to ease the pain I’ve caused you: I hope it will end soon. But, my sweetest love, promise me not to let it overwhelm you; don’t let yourself get too down. The thought of your sadness is unbearable for me. I would gladly die to make you happy; you know that. May the certainty of being loved bring a little comfort to your heart. Let me know you forgive the pain my love has caused you, for my peace of mind.
Adieu, my dear Cecilia!
Goodbye, my dear Cecilia!
Sept. 9, 17—.
Sept. 9, 1717—.
[1] Mr. Danceny is wrong; for he had already made a confidant of Mons. de Valmont. See Letter the 57th.
[1] Mr. Danceny is mistaken; he had already confided in Mons. de Valmont. See Letter the 57th.
LETTER LXVI.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
When you have read the two enclosed letters, you will be able to judge, my charming friend, whether I have fulfilled your commission. Although they are both dated to-day, they were wrote yesterday, at my house, and under my inspection; that to the girl is every thing we could wish. I am humbled by the depth of your wisdom, if one may judge by the success of your proceedings. Danceny is all on fire; and you may be certain, that at the first opportunity, you will have nothing to reproach him with. If his fair one will be but tractable, every thing will terminate as we wish in a little time after her arrival in the country. I am provided with sufficient schemes; thanks to your care. I am now decidedly Danceny’s friend.
When you’ve read the two attached letters, you’ll be able to see, my charming friend, whether I’ve done what you asked. Even though they’re both dated today, they were written yesterday at my place and under my supervision; the letter to the girl includes everything we could possibly want. I’m humbled by the depth of your wisdom, based on how successful your efforts have been. Danceny is all fired up; and you can be sure that at the first chance, he will give you no reason to blame him. If his lady is just a bit agreeable, everything will wrap up as we hope shortly after she arrives in the country. I’ve got plenty of plans, thanks to your help. I’m now definitely on Danceny’s side.
This same Danceny is yet very young. Would you believe it? I have never yet been able to prevail on him to promise the mother to renounce his love; as if there was any difficulty in promising, when one is determined not to keep one’s word. It would be deceitful, says he incessantly. Is not this a most edifying scruple, especially when he is about seducing the daughter? This is the true picture of mankind; all equally profligate in their projects: if any weakness happens in the execution, they call it probity.
This same Danceny is still quite young. Can you believe it? I’ve never been able to get him to promise his mother that he’ll give up his love; as if it’s difficult to make a promise when you have no intention of keeping it. “That would be dishonest,” he keeps saying. Isn't this a curious sense of morality, especially when he’s trying to seduce the daughter? This really shows what people are like; they’re all equally corrupt in their schemes: if anything goes wrong in the execution, they just call it integrity.
It is now your business to hinder Madame de Volanges from being startled at what little indiscretions he may have let fall in his letter; keep us out of the convent; endeavour to make her relinquish her demand of the little one’s letters: for he will not give them up, and I am of opinion he ought not: here love and sound sense agree. I have read those letters; I could hardly bear it; however, they may hereafter be useful.
It’s now your job to prevent Madame de Volanges from being shocked by any small indiscretions he might have revealed in his letter; keep us out of the convent; try to make her give up her demand for the little one’s letters, since he won’t give them up, and I believe he shouldn’t: here, love and common sense agree. I’ve read those letters; they were hard to take, but they might be useful later on.
Notwithstanding all our discretion, something may blaze abroad, which might break off the marriage, and render abortive all our Gercourt schemes: but as I must be revenged of the mother, for my own satisfaction, in that case, I must reserve to myself the debauching of the daughter. In selecting those letters, and only producing a part, the little Volanges would appear to have made the first advances, and have absolutely given herself up: and some of the letters might even entangle the mother, or, at least, make her appear guilty of an unpardonable negligence. I readily conceive, that the scrupulous Danceny would at first be startled; but as he would be personally attacked, I believe he might be brought to. It is a thousand to one, that it does not happen so; but we must provide against everything.
Despite all our caution, something could leak out that might end the marriage and ruin all our plans for Gercourt. However, since I need to get back at the mother for my own peace of mind, I have to keep the option of seducing the daughter to myself. By choosing those letters and only showing part of them, it would look like little Volanges made the first moves and completely surrendered herself. Some letters could even implicate the mother or at least make her seem guilty of unforgivable neglect. I can easily imagine that the overly principled Danceny would be shocked at first, but since he’d be directly involved, I think he could be persuaded. It's a long shot that it won't play out this way, but we need to prepare for any possibility.
Adieu, my lovely friend! I would be glad you could sup to-morrow at the Marechale de ——; I could not be off.
Adieu, my lovely friend! I would be happy if you could join us for dinner tomorrow at the Marechale de ——; I could not miss it.
I think it unnecessary to recommend secrecy with Madame Volanges, about my country jaunt: she would soon take it into her head to remain in town; but when once arrived, she will not go back the next day; and if she only gives us eight days, I will answer for every thing.
I think it's pointless to suggest keeping my trip to the countryside a secret from Madame Volanges; she would quickly decide to stay in town. But once we get there, she won't want to leave the next day. And if she only gives us eight days, I can guarantee everything will work out.
Sept.. 9, 17—.
Sept. 9, 17—.
LETTER LXVII.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The President De Tourvel to the VALMONT VISCOUNT.
I was determined not to answer you any more, Sir, and, perhaps, the embarrassment I now experience, is the strongest proof that I ought not. Notwithstanding, I will leave you no cause of complaint against me; and will convince you that I have done every thing I ought.
I was set on not responding to you anymore, Sir, and maybe the awkwardness I feel now is the best evidence that I shouldn’t. Still, I won’t give you any reason to complain about me, and I will show you that I’ve done everything I should.
I gave you leave to write to me, you say? I admit it; but when you put me in mind of this permission, do you think I forget the conditions on which it was granted? If I had adhered to them as strictly as you have disregarded them, you would not have received a single line from me; yet this is now the third, and whilst you are doing every thing you possibly can to oblige me to break off this correspondence, I am employed in the means of keeping it up. There is one, and it is the only one, which, if you refuse, will be sufficient proof, say what you will, how little you esteem it:
I allowed you to write to me, did I? I admit that; but when you remind me of this permission, do you really think I forget the conditions that came with it? If I had stuck to those boundaries as strictly as you have ignored them, you wouldn't have received a single message from me; yet this is now the third one, and while you’re doing everything you can to force me to end this correspondence, I'm busy figuring out how to keep it going. There’s one thing, and it’s the only thing, which, if you refuse, will clearly show, no matter what you say, how little you value it:
Give over, then, a language that I neither can nor will hear; renounce a passion that terrifies and offends me; and which, perhaps, you should be the less attached to, as it is the only obstacle that separates us. Is this passion, then, the only one that you are capable of? is it so powerful as to exclude friendship? and could you possibly not wish to have her for a friend, whom you would wish to inspire with more tender sentiments? I cannot believe it: this humiliating idea would turn me against you for ever!
Give it up, then, a language that I can't or won't hear; let go of a passion that scares and offends me; and which, maybe, you should be less attached to since it's the only thing keeping us apart. Is this passion really the only one you can feel? Is it so strong that it pushes aside friendship? And could you really not want to have her as a friend, the one you wish to inspire with more loving feelings? I can't believe that: this degrading thought would make me turn against you forever!
Thus offering you my friendship, Sir, I give you every thing that belongs to me; every thing that is at my disposal; what can you wish for more? To this proposition, so pleasing to my mind, I shall expect your consent; as also, your word of honour, that this friendship will constitute your happiness. I shall forget every thing that has been related to me, and I will depend upon your care to justify my choice.
Thus, while offering you my friendship, Sir, I give you everything that belongs to me; everything I have at my disposal; what more could you want? To this proposal, which pleases me greatly, I will await your agreement; as well as your word of honor, that this friendship will bring you happiness. I will forget everything I've been told, and I will rely on your commitment to justify my choice.
You see how frankly I deal with you, which ought to be a proof of my confidence in you; it rests with you to increase it still more; but I must inform you, that the first expression of love will for ever destroy it, and will bring back all my fears: it will be the first signal of an eternal silence from me to you.
You can see how straightforward I am with you, which should show you how much I trust you; it’s up to you to build that trust even more. However, I need to let you know that the first time you express love will completely ruin that trust and will bring back all my worries: it will be the first sign of a permanent silence from me to you.
If, as you say, you have abandoned your errors, would you not rather be the object of friendship of a virtuous woman, than that of the remorse of a guilty one? Adieu, Sir! You may conceive that having said thus much, I can say nothing more that you have not already answered.
If, as you said, you've let go of your mistakes, wouldn't you prefer to be the recipient of a virtuous woman's friendship instead of the guilt of a sinful one? Goodbye, Sir! You can understand that after saying all this, there's nothing else I can say that you haven't already addressed.
Sept. 9, 17—.
Sept. 9, 1717.
LETTER LXVIII.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
Viscount Valmont to the President de Tourvel.
How is it possible, Madam, to answer your last letter; how shall I dare speak truth, when my sincerity may ruin me with you? Yet I must; I often tell myself, I would rather deserve than obtain you; and were you for ever to refuse me a happiness I incessantly wish for, I will at least make you acknowledge, that my heart is worthy of it.
How can I possibly respond to your last letter, Madam? How can I be honest when my honesty might endanger our relationship? But I have to; I often remind myself that I would prefer to earn your love than simply have it. And even if you were to forever deny me the happiness I endlessly long for, I will at least make you see that my heart deserves it.
What a pity it is, as you say, that I have abandoned my errors, with what transport should I not have read that letter which I tremble to answer to-day? You deal frankly with me; you testify your confidence. You even offer me your friendship: how bountiful are you, Madam, and how much I regret I cannot benefit by them. Why am I no longer the same!
What a shame it is, as you say, that I have let go of my mistakes, with what excitement I should have read that letter which I’m scared to respond to today. You are being honest with me; you show your trust. You even offer me your friendship: how generous you are, Madam, and how much I wish I could take advantage of it. Why am I not the same anymore!
For if I really was, if I had but a common passion for you, that slight desire, the child of seduction and pleasure, which is yet now called love, I would speedily take advantage of every thing I could obtain, without being much concerned about the delicacy of the measures, provided they ensured success. I would flatter your frankness, in order to dive into you; I would endeavour to gain your confidence, with an intention to betray it; I would accept your friendship in the hope of leading you astray.—This picture, no doubt, alarms you, Madam;—but it would be the true portrait of myself, if I was to tell you that I consented to be your friend only.
For if I really were, if I just had a normal passion for you, that slight desire, which comes from attraction and pleasure and is now called love, I would quickly take advantage of everything I could get, without worrying too much about how I went about it, as long as it led to success. I would flatter your honesty to get closer to you; I would try to earn your trust with the intention of betraying it; I would accept your friendship hoping to lead you astray. —This image, no doubt, frightens you, Madam;—but it would be the true picture of myself if I were to say that I agreed to be your friend only.
What! Should I consent to share with another a sentiment proceeding from your soul? If I should ever tell you so, do not believe me. From that moment I would seek to deceive you; I might still have desires, but I certainly would love you no longer.
What! Should I agree to share a feeling that comes from your soul with someone else? If I ever say that, don’t believe me. From that moment on, I would be trying to trick you; I might still have feelings, but I definitely would no longer love you.
Not but your amiable frankness, your charming confidence, and your pleasing friendship, are immensely valuable to me;—but love, sincere love, such as you have inspired me with, reuniting all those sentiments, by giving them more energy, cannot, as they do, be satisfied with that tranquillity, that ease of mind, which will allow of comparisons, and even sometimes of preferences. No, Madam, I will not be your friend, I will love you with the most ardent and tender affection, and yet the most respectful. You may deprive it of hope, but you cannot annihilate it.
But your friendly openness, your lovely confidence, and your enjoyable companionship mean so much to me;—but love, true love, like the kind you’ve inspired in me, combining all those feelings and intensifying them, cannot settle for that calmness, that peace of mind that permits comparisons and even preferences at times. No, Madam, I will not just be your friend; I will love you with the deepest and most tender affection, while still being respectful. You might take away hope, but you cannot destroy it.
What right have you to pretend to dispose of a heart, whose homage you refuse? By what refinement of cruelty do you envy me the happiness of my love? It belongs to me; and is independent of you; and I know how to preserve it. If it is the source, it is also the remedy of my misfortunes. Once more no, persist in your cruel resolutions; but leave me love. You enjoy the pleasure of my misery; be it so, endeavour to tire out my perseverance, I shall at least know how to oblige you to decide my fate; and you may, perhaps, one day do me justice. Not that I ever hope to make you sensible of my pain, but you shall be convinced, though not persuaded; and you shall say I have judged him too severely.
What right do you have to act like you can control a heart that you refuse to acknowledge? What kind of cruelty makes you jealous of my happiness in love? It's mine, it's separate from you, and I know how to keep it safe. If it causes me pain, it’s also the cure for my troubles. Once again, no, stick to your harsh decisions, but let me keep my love. You take pleasure in my suffering; fine, try to wear down my determination. At least I’ll force you to make a choice about my future, and maybe one day you'll treat me fairly. Not that I think you'll really understand my pain, but you'll realize, even if you're not convinced, that I’ve been treated unfairly.
But you are unjust to yourself: to see you without loving you, to love you without being constant, are both equally impossible; and, notwithstanding the modesty that adorns you, it must be easier for you to lament, than be astonished at the sentiments you gave birth to. But as for me, whose only merit is to have discovered their value, I will not lose it; and far from agreeing to your insidious offers, I again renew, at your feet, the oaths I have made to love you eternally.
But you’re being unfair to yourself: to see you without loving you and to love you without being faithful are both impossible; and, despite the modesty that makes you so admirable, it must be easier for you to grieve than to be surprised by the feelings you’ve inspired. As for me, my only merit is recognizing their value, and I won’t let that go; instead of accepting your sly proposals, I reaffirm, at your feet, the vows I’ve made to love you forever.
Sept. 10, 17—.
Sept. 10, 17—.
LETTER LXIX.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
Cecilia Volanges to the Chevalier Danceny.
(Wrote with a pencil, and re-copied by Danceny.)
(Written with a pencil, and copied again by Danceny.)
You desire to know how I spend my time? I love you, and am always crying. My mother speaks to me no longer; she has taken away my paper, pens, and ink; I now make use of a pencil, which I fortunately had in my pocket, and I write this on the back of your letter. I must certainly approve of whatever you have done; I love you too well, not to use every means to hear from you, and give you some account of myself. I did not use to love Mr. de Valmont; I did not think him to be so much your friend; I will endeavour to accustom myself to him, and I will love him on your account. I cannot tell who betrayed us; it must be either my waiting-maid or my confessor. I am very unhappy: to-morrow we set out for the country, and I do not know for how long a time. Good God, not to see you any more! I have no more room, adieu! Endeavour to read this. Those letters, wrote with a pencil, will, perhaps, rub out; but the sentiments engraved on my heart never will.
You want to know how I spend my time? I love you, and I’m always crying. My mother doesn’t talk to me anymore; she’s taken away my paper, pens, and ink; I’m now using a pencil that I luckily had in my pocket, and I’m writing this on the back of your letter. I definitely approve of whatever you’ve done; I love you too much not to use every way possible to hear from you and let you know how I am. I didn’t used to love Mr. de Valmont; I didn’t think he was such a good friend of yours; I’ll try to get used to him, and I’ll love him because of you. I can’t figure out who betrayed us; it must be either my maid or my confessor. I’m really unhappy: tomorrow we’re leaving for the country, and I don’t know for how long. Good God, to not see you again! I have no more space, goodbye! Please try to read this. Those letters written with a pencil might fade away; but the feelings engraved in my heart never will.
Sept.. 10, 17—.
Sept. 10, 17—.
LETTER LXX.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Viscount de Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
My dear friend, I have a most important piece of news for you: last night I supped, as you know, at the Marechale de ——, where you were spoke of; I said not all the good that I think, but all that I did not think of you. Every one seemed to be of my opinion, and the conversation languished, as it always happens when people talk well of their neighbours; when at length Prevan spoke, “God forbid,” said he, rising up, “that I should have the least doubt of the virtue of Madame de Merteuil; but I dare say, that she owes it more to levity than principle. It is, perhaps, easier to please her, than follow her; and as one seldom fails in running after a woman, to meet others in one’s way, those may be as much, if not more, valuable than she; some are dissipated by a new taste, others stop through lassitude; and she is, perhaps, one of the women who has had the least opportunity of making a resistance, of any of Paris; for my part,” said he, (encouraged by the smiles of some of the women), “I will not credit Madame de Merteuil’s virtue, until I have killed six horses in her service.”
My dear friend, I have some very important news for you: last night, as you know, I had dinner at the Marechale de ——, where you were mentioned. I didn’t say all the good things I think about you, but I did mention everything I didn’t think of you. Everyone seemed to agree with me, and the conversation dragged on, as it always does when people speak well of their neighbors. Finally, Prevan spoke up, “God forbid,” he said, standing up, “that I should have the slightest doubt about Madame de Merteuil’s virtue; but I think it comes more from her carelessness than from any real principle. It might be easier to please her than to follow her; and since it’s common to run after a woman and encounter others along the way, those might be just as good, if not better, than she is. Some get distracted by new interests, others lose interest out of boredom; and she is perhaps one of the women in Paris who has had the least chance to resist. For my part,” he continued, encouraged by the smiles of some of the women, “I won’t believe in Madame de Merteuil’s virtue until I’ve killed six horses in her service.”
This scurvy jest succeeded, as all those do that are replete with scandal; and whilst the laugh went round, Prevan seated himself, and the conversation became general; but the two Countesses de B——, near whom the incredulous Prevan seated himself, began a particular conversation which I overheard.
This nasty joke worked, just like all scandalous ones do; while everyone was laughing, Prevan sat down, and the conversation became lively. However, the two Countesses de B——, next to the skeptical Prevan, started a private conversation that I overheard.
The challenge that was given to bring you to compliance was accepted; and the promise of telling all was exchanged; of all those which passed in this conversation, that will be the most religiously observed: but now you have timely notice; and you know the old proverb.
The challenge to get you to comply was accepted; and the promise to reveal everything was made; of all the things discussed in this conversation, that will be the most strictly upheld: but now you have fair warning; and you know the old saying.
I have only to tell you, moreover, that this Prevan, who you do not know, is amazingly amiable, and still more subtle. If you have sometimes heard me say the contrary, it is only because I don’t like him, and that I delight in contradicting his successes; for I am not ignorant how my opinion weighs with some thirty of our women à-la-mode.
I just have to tell you that this Prevan, whom you don’t know, is incredibly charming and even more clever. If you’ve heard me say otherwise, it’s just because I don’t like him and enjoy disputing his successes; I know how much my opinion matters to about thirty of our fashionable women.
And really I have, for a long time, prevented him by this means, of making a figure in what is called the grand theatre. He worked prodigies without advancing his reputation. But the eclat of his triple adventure, by fixing every one’s eyes on him, has given him a certain air of confidence that he, until then, wanted, and has made him truly formidable. He is, perhaps, at this time, the only man I dread meeting in my way; and, your interests apart, you will do me the greatest service in making him ridiculous. I leave him in good hands; and I hope at my return he will be a lost man.
And honestly, I've managed to keep him from making a name for himself in what’s known as the big league for a long time. He performed incredible feats without gaining any recognition. But the fame from his recent triple feat has drawn everyone's attention to him, giving him a confidence he lacked before, and now he's truly intimidating. Right now, he’s probably the only person I fear encountering. Besides your own interests, you'd be doing me a huge favor by making him look foolish. I’m leaving him in capable hands; I hope that by the time I get back, he’ll be finished.
In recompence, I promise you to bring the adventure of your pupil to a good issue, and to employ my time as much for her as my lovely prude.
In return, I promise to make sure your student's adventure turns out well, and to spend my time as much on her as on my lovely prude.
She has just now sent me a plan of capitulation. Her whole letter announces a wish to be deceived. It is impossible to offer any means more commodious, or more stale. She will have me to be her friend. But I, who am fond of new and difficult methods, will not let her off so easily; for certainly I have not taken so much pains about her, to terminate by the ordinary methods of seduction.
She just sent me a surrender plan. The whole letter makes it clear she wants to be fooled. There's no way to offer anything more convenient or more worn out. She wants me to be her friend. But I, who enjoy new and challenging approaches, won't let her off that easily; I certainly haven't put in all this effort for her just to settle for typical seduction tricks.
On the contrary, my design is, that she should feel the value, and the extent, of every one of the sacrifices she shall make; not to lead her on so fast, but that remorse may follow every step; to make her virtue expire in a slow agony; to fix her attention incessantly on that mortifying spectacle, and not to grant her the happiness of having me in her arms, till I have forced her to no longer dissemble her desire: for I am worth little indeed, if I am not worth the trouble of asking. Then I shall be revenged of a haughty woman, who seems to blush to own she adores.
On the contrary, my plan is for her to fully realize the value and scope of every sacrifice she makes; to not rush her along too quickly, but to ensure that guilt follows her every move; to make her virtue fade away slowly; to keep her attention fixated on that embarrassing sight, and not allow her the joy of having me in her arms until I’ve made her stop hiding her desire: because I'm not worth much if I'm not worth the effort of asking for. Then I'll have my revenge on a proud woman who seems embarrassed to admit she adores me.
I have then refused this precious friendship, and hold to my title of lover. As I am not ignorant that this title, which at first appears but trifling, is, notwithstanding, of real importance to be obtained, I took peculiar care of my style, and endeavoured to scatter through my letter that kind of disorder which only can display sentiment, and talked as much nonsense as possible; for, without that, there is no tenderness: that, I believe, is the reason that women excel us so much in love letters.
I have chosen to reject this precious friendship and stick to my title as a lover. I know that this title, which might seem insignificant at first, is actually important to hold on to, so I paid special attention to my writing style and tried to fill my letter with that kind of messiness that really shows emotion, throwing in as much nonsense as I could; because without that, there's no warmth. I think that's why women are so much better than us at writing love letters.
I finished mine by a soothing sentence; that is another consequence of my profound observations. After a woman’s heart has been some time kept in exercise, it wants rest: and I have often remarked, that a flattery is, for all of them, the softest pillow we can offer.
I wrapped up with a comforting sentence; that's another result of my deep reflections. After a woman's heart has been active for a while, it needs a break: and I've often noticed that flattery is, for all of them, the softest pillow we can give.
Adieu, my lovely friend. I set out to-morrow. If you have any orders to give me for the Countess de ——, I shall stop with her to dinner. I am sorry to set out without seeing you. Forward me your sublime instructions, and assist me with your wise counsels in the decisive moment.
Adieu, my dear friend. I'm leaving tomorrow. If you have any requests for the Countess de —, I'll be having dinner with her. I'm sorry to head out without seeing you. Send me your brilliant instructions, and help me with your wise advice in this important moment.
Above all, beware of Prevan; and may I one day indemnify you for this sacrifice. Adieu!
Above all, watch out for Prevan; and I hope to make it up to you for this sacrifice one day. Goodbye!
Sept. 11, 17—.
Sept. 11, 2017—.
LETTER LXXI.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Vicomte de Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
My blundering huntsman has left my letter-case at Paris. My fair one’s letters, Danceny’s for the little Volanges, all is left behind; and I want them all. He is just going to set off to repair his folly; and while he saddles his horse, I take the opportunity to give you a detail of my night’s adventure; for I hope you will believe I don’t lose time.
My clumsy huntsman has left my letter case back in Paris. My lovely lady's letters, Danceny's for little Volanges, everything is left behind; and I need them all. He’s about to head out to fix his mistake; and while he’s saddling his horse, I’m taking the chance to share the details of my night’s adventure with you; I hope you’ll believe I’m not wasting time.
It is in itself but trifling; being nothing more than another heat with the Viscountess de M———. The detail however is interesting. I am moreover pleased to let you know, that if I have the talent of ruining the women, I am no less clever in saving them when I am inclined. The most lively, or most difficult side, is what I always choose; and I never reproach myself with doing a good act, provided it entertains and amuses me.
It’s really not a big deal; it’s just another fling with the Viscountess de M———. However, the details are interesting. I’m also happy to tell you that while I have a knack for ruining women, I’m just as skilled at saving them when I feel like it. I always go for the most exciting or challenging situations, and I never feel guilty about doing something good as long as it keeps me entertained and amused.
I found the Viscountess here; and as she was very pressing with the other solicitations, that I should sleep here, “Well, I agree,” said I, “on condition I sleep with you.”—“That is impossible,” said she; “Vressac is here.” Until then I only meant to pass a joke; but the word impossible roused me as usual. I was humbled to be sacrificed to Vressac; I determined not to bear it, and insisted on it.
I found the Viscountess here, and since she was really urging me to stay the night, I said, “Okay, but only if I get to sleep with you.” “That’s not possible,” she replied; “Vressac is here.” Until then, I was just joking, but the word impossible triggered me, as it always does. I felt degraded being put aside for Vressac; I decided I wouldn’t stand for it and insisted otherwise.
The circumstances were not favourable for me. Vressac has been foolish enough to give umbrage to the Viscount; so that she cannot see him any longer at home: and this journey to the good Countess was concerted between them, to endeavour to steal a few nights. The Viscount seemed to be out of temper at meeting Vressac here; but as his passion for hunting is stronger than his jealousy, he has remained, notwithstanding the Countess, whom you well know, having fixed the wife in an apartment in the great gallery; placed the husband on one side, and the lover on the other, and left them to settle the matter between themselves. Their evil genius would have it that I should be lodged opposite to them.
The situation wasn't great for me. Vressac was foolish enough to upset the Viscount, so she can't see him at home anymore. This trip to visit the good Countess was planned between them to try to steal a few nights together. The Viscount seemed annoyed to run into Vressac here, but since his love for hunting is stronger than his jealousy, he stayed, despite the Countess, who you know well, putting the wife in a room in the main gallery, the husband on one side, and the lover on the other, and left them to sort it out themselves. It seems like fate had me placed right across from them.
Yesterday Vressac, who, as you may believe, humours the Viscount, hunted with him, notwithstanding it is a diversion he is not fond of, and reckoned he would be consoled at night in the embraces of the wife, for the chagrin the husband gave him that day: but as I imagined he would have occasion for repose, I resolved to prevail on his mistress to give him time to take it.
Yesterday, Vressac, who, as you can guess, indulges the Viscount, went hunting with him, even though it's not a pastime he enjoys, and figured he could find comfort later that night in the arms of the Viscount's wife to make up for the annoyance the husband caused him that day. But since I thought he would need some rest, I decided to convince his mistress to give him a chance to unwind.
I succeeded, and induced her to pick a quarrel with him about this hunting match, which he evidently agreed to only for her sake. A worse pretence never could have been hit on: but no woman knows better than the Viscountess how to employ that usual talent of all, to affect ill temper instead of reason, and to be never so difficult to be appeased as when they are in the wrong. Besides, it was not a convenient time for explanations; and as I only wished for one night with her, I consented they should make it up the next day.
I managed to get her to start a fight with him about this hunting match, which he obviously agreed to just for her. There couldn’t have been a worse excuse: but no woman knows better than the Viscountess how to use that common skill of all—to act moody instead of rational, and to be the hardest to calm down when they’re in the wrong. Plus, it wasn’t a good time for explanations; and since I only wanted one night with her, I agreed they could sort it out the next day.
Vressac was then huffed at his return. He wanted to know the reason she quarrelled with him; he endeavoured to justify himself; the husband, who was present, was the apology for breaking off the conversation; he however attempted to seize the opportunity, when the husband was absent, to beg he might be heard at night. Then the Viscountess was sublime: she was exasperated at the audacity of men, who, because they have experienced a woman’s affection, think themselves entitled to abuse it; when, at the same time, the woman has every cause to be offended; and having changed her argument, she spoke so well, on delicacy and sentiment, that Vressac was mute and confounded; and I even thought she was right: for you must know, as a friend to both, I made up the trio.
Vressac was annoyed when he returned. He wanted to know why she had fought with him; he tried to defend himself. The husband, who was there, interrupted them to cut off the conversation. However, he tried to take the chance, when the husband was away, to ask if he could talk to her at night. Then the Viscountess was magnificent: she was furious at the nerve of men who, just because they’ve received a woman’s affection, think they can take advantage of it; while the woman has every reason to be upset. Changing her approach, she spoke so eloquently about sensitivity and feelings that Vressac was left speechless and confused; I even thought she had a point: you should know, as a friend to both, I was part of the trio.
She at length declared positively she would not increase the fatigues of the chase by the additional ones of love, and that she could not think of disturbing such pleasing amusements. The husband returned. The unhappy Vressac, who could no longer reply, addressing himself to me; after relating, with much circumlocution, his reasons, which I was as well satisfied with as he could be, requested I would speak to the Viscountess, which I promised him: and I did; but it was to thank her, and settle the hour and method of meeting.
She finally stated clearly that she wouldn't add the burdens of love to the exhausting pursuit and didn't want to interrupt such enjoyable activities. The husband came back. The unfortunate Vressac, who could no longer respond, turned to me; after explaining, with a lot of unnecessary detail, his reasons—which I understood as well as he did—he asked me to talk to the Viscountess, which I agreed to do. But I spoke to her only to thank her and arrange the time and way we would meet.
She informed me, that, being situated between her husband and lover, she thought it more prudent to go to Vressac, than to receive him in her apartment; and that as I was fixed opposite to her, she thought it would be better to come to my room; that she would come the moment her maid left her; only to leave my door open, and wait for her.
She told me that since she was caught between her husband and her lover, she thought it was wiser to go to Vressac rather than have him come to her place. And since I was directly across from her, she thought it would be better to come to my room. She said she would come as soon as her maid left her; all I had to do was leave my door open and wait for her.
Every thing was done as agreed on; and she came to me about one.
Everything was done as we agreed; and she came to me around one o'clock.
Not being much inclined to vanity, I shall not enter into particulars: however, you know me well; I was well pleased with myself.
Not really into vanity, I won’t get into details: but you know me well; I was pretty happy with myself.
At dawn of day we were forced to part. Here the tale begins. The giddy creature thought she had left her door half open; we found it shut, and the key withinside. You can’t conceive the distraction of the Viscountess. “Ah! I am undone,” she exclaimed. I must own it would have been whimsical to have left her so; but was it possible to think a woman should be ruined for me, that was not ruined by me? And should I, as the generality of men do, be overcome by an accident? A lucky thought occurred, and thus I settled the business.
At the break of dawn, we had to say goodbye. This is where the story starts. The dizzy woman thought she had left her door ajar; we found it locked, with the key inside. You can't imagine the distress of the Viscountess. "Oh! I'm doomed," she cried out. I must admit it would have been amusing to leave her like that; but could I really believe a woman would be ruined for me, who wasn’t ruined by me? And should I, like most men do, let an accident get the best of me? A clever idea came to me, and that’s how I solved the situation.
I soon perceived the door might be broke upon, but not without some noise. With some difficulty I prevailed on the Viscountess to cry out, Robbers, murder, thieves, &c. &c. We had so settled it, that, at the first alarm, I should burst open the door, and she should fly to her bed. Yon can’t imagine how difficult it was to make her resolve, even after she had consented. She was, however, obliged to comply; and at the first burst the door flew open.
I quickly realized the door might be broken down, but it wouldn't be quiet. After some effort, I convinced the Viscountess to yell out, "Robbers, murder, thieves," and so on. We had agreed that at the first sign of trouble, I would kick the door open, and she would run to her bed. You wouldn’t believe how hard it was to get her to commit, even after she had agreed. However, she had no choice but to go along with it; and when I kicked the door, it flew open instantly.
The Viscountess was right not to lose a moment; for instantly the Viscount and Vressac were in the gallery, and the waiting maid in her mistress’s chamber.
The Viscountess was right not to waste any time; because right away, the Viscount and Vressac entered the gallery, and the waiting maid was in her mistress’s room.
I alone was cool, and overturned a watch light that was burning; for it would have been ridiculous to have feigned such a panic, having a light in the room. I scolded the husband and lover for their drowsiness, confidently insisting that her cries, and my efforts to burst open the door, had lasted at least five minutes.
I was the only one who stayed calm and knocked over a candle that was burning; it would have been silly to pretend there was a crisis with a light on in the room. I scolded the husband and lover for being so sleepy, confidently insisting that her screams and my attempts to break down the door had lasted at least five minutes.
The Viscountess, who recovered her courage in bed, seconded me tolerably well, and strenuously insisted there was a robber in her room; but with something more sincerity she declared she never had been more frightened in her life. We searched every where, but found nothing; at last I made them observe the watch light overturned: we concluded a rat had given us this fright and disturbance. My opinion was unanimously adopted. After some stale jests on rats, the Viscount returned to bed, begging she would in future choose more peaceable rats.
The Viscountess, who regained her courage while in bed, supported me pretty well and firmly insisted that there was a robber in her room; but with a bit more honesty, she said she had never been more scared in her life. We searched everywhere but found nothing; eventually, I pointed out the overturned watch light: we figured a rat had caused this fright and commotion. My conclusion was agreed upon by everyone. After some old jokes about rats, the Viscount went back to bed, asking her to choose more peaceful rats in the future.
Vressac drew near the Viscountess, and passionately told her, Love revenged him; to which she replied, fixing her eyes on me, “He must then have been very angry indeed: for he has had ample satisfaction; but I am much fatigued, and want rest.”
Vressac approached the Viscountess and fervently said, "Love got him back." She responded, looking directly at me, "He must have been really angry then; he's definitely had his revenge. But I'm quite tired and need some rest."
I was very well pleased. Before we parted, I pleaded so powerfully for Vressac, that I brought about a reconciliation. The lovers embraced, and I also received theirs. I was indifferent to the Viscountess’s kisses; but I own I was pleased with Vressac’s. We left her; after having received his thanks, we returned to our beds.
I was really happy. Before we said goodbye, I made a strong case for Vressac, which led to a reconciliation. The couple hugged, and I got some hugs too. I didn't care much for the Viscountess’s kisses, but I have to admit I enjoyed Vressac’s. We left her place, and after getting his thanks, we went back to our rooms.
If the tale diverts you, I don’t mean to bind you to secrecy. Now I have had my amusement, it is right the public should also have their share. For this time you have only the history; hereafter we shall talk of the heroine.
If the story entertains you, I won't hold you to confidentiality. Now that I've had my fun, it's only fair that the public gets to enjoy it too. For now, you only have the background; later, we'll discuss the heroine.
Adieu. My huntsman has been in waiting an hour. I particularly recommend it to you to be on your guard against Prevan.
Adieu. My hunter has been waiting for an hour. I especially advise you to be cautious of Prevan.
From the Castle of ——,
Sept. 15, 17—.
From the Castle of ——,
Sept. 15, 17—.
LETTER LXXII.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to CECILIA VOLANGES.
Chevalier Danceny to Cecilia Volanges.
(Delivered only the 14th.)
(Delivered only the 14th.)
Oh, my Cecilia! How much I envy Valmont’s good fortune; to-morrow he will see you. He will deliver you this letter; whilst I, languishing far from you, will lead a wretched lingering life. Between regret and misery, my life, my dearest life, pity me not only for my own misfortunes, but also for yours; for it is they that deprive me of my resolution.
Oh, my Cecilia! I can't help but envy Valmont's good luck; tomorrow he'll get to see you. He'll bring you this letter while I, stuck far away from you, will live a miserable, drawn-out life. Caught between regret and sorrow, my dearest life, please feel sorry for me not just for my own troubles, but for yours too; because it's your struggles that leave me so lost.
How dreadful the reflection, to be the cause of your misery! Had it not been for me, you would have been happy; will you forgive me? Speak! Say you forgive me; tell me you love me; that you will love me ever, which is the only consolation that is now left me. Not that I doubt it; but it relieves my anguish; you love me then? Yes, you love me with your whole heart. I do not forget it was the last word you spoke: it is treasured in mine; it is there deeply engraved. With what transports did my heart answer it!
How awful it is to realize I'm the reason for your pain! If it weren't for me, you would be happy; can you forgive me? Please, speak! Tell me you forgive me; say you love me; that you'll always love me, which is the only comfort I have left. Not that I doubt it; but it eases my suffering. You love me, right? Yes, you love me completely. I haven’t forgotten it was the last thing you said: I hold it close to my heart; it's deeply etched in my mind. My heart responded so joyfully to it!
Alas, in that happy moment, I was far from foreseeing the dreadful fate that awaited us! Let us seek for means to soften it. If I am to believe my friend, it will be enough that you should have the confidence in him he deserves. I was chagrined, I must own, at the disadvantageous idea you had of him. I knew the bad opinion your mamma had imbibed, and in submission to that opinion, I had, for some time, neglected a truly amiable man, who now is ready to serve me; who endeavours to reunite us, whilst your mamma has cruelly torn you from me. I conjure you, my love, to have a more favourable opinion of him; remember he is my friend, and wishes to be yours; that he can procure me the happiness of seeing you. If those reasons do not convince you, my Cecilia, you do not love me as much as I love you; you no longer love me as you did. Ah! if you should ever love me less,—but no, Cecilia’s heart is mine: I have it for life; and if I must feel the torments of an unsuccessful passion, her constancy, at least, will insure me the inexpressible joy of a permanent affection.
Unfortunately, in that happy moment, I had no idea of the terrible fate that awaited us! Let's find a way to ease it. If I can trust my friend, all it takes is for you to have the confidence in him that he deserves. I must admit I was disappointed by the negative opinion you had of him. I knew the bad impression your mom had picked up, and because of that opinion, I had for a while overlooked a genuinely kind man who is now ready to help me; he’s trying to bring us back together while your mom has cruelly separated us. I urge you, my love, to think more positively of him; remember he is my friend and wants to be yours; he can give me the happiness of seeing you. If those reasons don’t convince you, my Cecilia, then you don't love me as much as I love you; you no longer love me as you once did. Ah! If you ever love me less—but no, Cecilia’s heart is mine: I have it for life; and if I must endure the pain of unrequited love, at least her loyalty will guarantee me the incredible joy of everlasting affection.
Adieu, my lovely dear! Do not forget that I suffer; it will be your fault if I am not perfectly happy; attend to the vows of my heart, and receive the tender kisses of love.
Goodbye, my lovely dear! Don’t forget that I’m suffering; it will be your fault if I’m not completely happy; pay attention to the vows of my heart and accept the sweet kisses of love.
Sept. 11, 17—.
Sept. 11, 2017—.
LETTER LXXIII.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to CECILIA VOLANGES.
Viscount de Valmont to Cecilia Volanges.
(Annexed to the foregoing.)
(Attached to the above.)
The friend who takes upon him to assist you, knows that you have not materials to write with, therefore has provided them for you. You will find in the anti-chamber of your apartment, under the great clothes press on the left hand, paper, pens, and ink, which he will renew whenever you please, and which, he thinks, you may leave in the same place, if you cannot find a better.
The friend who decided to help you knows you don’t have any writing supplies, so he has provided them for you. You’ll find paper, pens, and ink in the anteroom of your apartment, under the large wardrobe on the left side. He will replace them whenever you want, and he thinks you can keep them in the same spot if you can't find a better place.
He requests you will not be offended, if he seems to take little notice of you in company, and only to treat you as a child. This behaviour appears necessary to him, to avoid suspicion, and to be able more effectually to bring about your and his friend’s happiness. He will endeavour to get opportunities to speak to you, when he has any thing to say or to give you; and hopes to be able to accomplish it, if, on your part, you will second him.
He asks that you won’t be offended if he seems to ignore you in public and only treats you like a child. He believes this behavior is necessary to avoid drawing attention and to more effectively ensure your happiness and that of his friend. He will try to find moments to talk to you when he has something to say or give you, and he hopes to succeed if you support him in this.
He also advises you to give him the letters you will receive, after you have read them, in order to avoid all bad consequences.
He also suggests that you give him the letters you receive after reading them to avoid any negative consequences.
He finishes his letter by assuring you, if you confide in him, he will employ his utmost endeavours to soften the persecution that a cruel mother makes two persons undergo; one of which is his best friend, and the other seems to him to deserve his tenderest concern.
He ends his letter by assuring you that if you trust him, he'll do everything he can to ease the suffering caused by a harsh mother that two people are enduring; one of them is his best friend, and the other one seems to him to deserve his deepest sympathy.
Castle of ——, Sept. 14, 17—.
Castle of ——, Sept. 14, 17—.
LETTER LXXIV.
MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
You are very soon alarmed, my dear friend: this Prevan must be formidable indeed, but what a simple modest creature am I, who have often met this haughty conqueror, and have scarce ever looked at him; nothing less than your letter would have made me pay the least attention to him. I corrected my error yesterday; he was at the Opera, almost opposite to me; I was captivated with him. He is not only handsome, but very handsome; fine delicate features, and must improve on a clearer inspection. You say, he wants to have me, he certainly will do me a great deal of honour and pleasure; but seriously, I have taken a fancy to him, and tell you, in confidence, I have taken the first step towards an advance. I do not know whether I shall succeed, but this is fact.
You're getting worked up too soon, my dear friend: this Prevan must be pretty impressive, but I’m just a simple and modest person who has often crossed paths with this arrogant conqueror and barely even noticed him; your letter is the only thing that made me pay any attention to him. I corrected my mistake yesterday; he was at the Opera, almost right in front of me; I was captivated by him. He’s not just handsome, but extremely attractive; he has fine, delicate features that must look even better up close. You say he wants to be with me, and that would certainly bring me a lot of honor and joy; but honestly, I’ve developed an interest in him, and I'll tell you in confidence that I've taken the first step to make a move. I don’t know if it will work out, but that's the truth.
He was at a very little distance from me, coming out of the Opera, and I gave a rendezvous to the Marquis de ———, to sup on Friday at the Lady Marechale’s, so loud that he might hear, which, I believe, is the only house I can meet him in; and have not the least doubt but he heard me. If the ungrateful wretch should not come—Tell me sincerely, do you think he will? I protest if he does not, I shall be out of temper the whole evening. You see he will not find so much difficulty in following me; and what will surprise you more is, he will find less, in pleasing me.. He says he will kill six horses in paying his addresses to me; oh! the poor animals shall not die. I should never have patience to wait so long. You know it is not my principle to make any one languish, when once I am decided in their favour, as I really am in his.
He was just a short distance from me, coming out of the Opera, and I loudly arranged to meet the Marquis de ——— for dinner on Friday at Lady Marechale’s, hoping he would hear me, since I believe that's the only place I can see him. I have no doubt he heard me. If that ungrateful guy doesn’t show up—Honestly, do you think he will? I swear if he doesn’t, I’ll be in a bad mood all evening. You see, he won’t have much trouble following me; and what might surprise you even more is that he’ll have less trouble pleasing me. He says he’ll exhaust six horses trying to win me over; oh! Those poor animals won’t have to suffer. I could never be patient enough to wait that long. You know it’s not my style to make anyone suffer when I’ve already made up my mind about them, which I truly have in his case.
Now, you must agree, there is some pleasure in talking rationally to me, has not your important advice had great success; but what can I do? I vegetate for a long time; it is more than six weeks since I have permitted myself a gaiety; this is the first, how can I refuse it? Is not the subject worth the trouble? Can there be any one more agreeable in every sense of the word?
Now, you have to admit, there’s a bit of joy in having a rational conversation with me. Haven’t your important pieces of advice been quite successful? But what can I do? I’ve been stuck in a rut for a long time; it’s been over six weeks since I’ve allowed myself to feel happy. This is the first time—how can I say no to it? Isn’t the topic worth the effort? Is there anyone more pleasant in every way?
You are obliged to do him justice; you do more than praise him; you are jealous of him. Well, I shall judge between you both, but first I must take informations, and that is what I mean to do. Be assured I shall be an upright judge; you shall be both weighed in the same scale; for your part, I have already received your memorial, am entirely acquainted with your affairs. Is it not reasonable that I should also know your adversary’s case? Come, go through your business with a good grace, and to begin, inform me, I beg of you, this triple adventure, of which he is the hero. You talk to me as if I knew the whole matter, who never heard a word of it. Probably it happened during the time of my journey to Geneva, and your jealousy prevented you from giving me an account of it. Repair this fault immediately; remember that every thing that interests him, is of consequence to me. I think it was spoke of at my return; but I was so taken up with other matters, I rarely pay attention to any thing of this kind that is not new.
You have to give him credit; you do more than just compliment him; you’re actually envious of him. Well, I’ll decide between you both, but first, I need to gather information, and that’s what I plan to do. Rest assured, I will be a fair judge; you both will be measured by the same standards. As for you, I’ve already received your document and know your situation inside and out. Isn’t it fair that I should also understand your opponent’s case? Now, let’s get started. Please tell me about this triple adventure where he is the hero. You speak to me as if I already know everything, when I haven't heard a thing about it. It must have happened while I was traveling to Geneva, and your jealousy kept you from sharing the details. Fix that mistake right away; remember that everything that involves him matters to me. I think it was mentioned when I got back, but I was so caught up in other things that I rarely pay attention to anything like this unless it’s new.
If what I require should be even contrary to your inclination, remember how much you are indebted to me for the cares and solicitude I have had upon your account. Is it not to them you are indebted for being now with your Presidente, when your own folly drove you from her? Have I not put it in your power to be revenged of Madame de Volanges, for her acrimonious zeal against you? How often have you deplored the time you lost in search of adventures, now you have them at command? Love, hatred, make your choice, they are under the same roof with you; by doubling your existence, you can caress with the one hand, and strike with the other.
If what I need is even against your wishes, remember how much you owe me for the care and concern I've shown for you. Aren't you indebted to me for being with your Presidente now, after your own foolishness led you away from her? Haven’t I given you the chance to get back at Madame de Volanges for her harsh treatment of you? How many times have you complained about the time you wasted looking for adventures, and now you have them at your fingertips? Love and hate—make your choice; they’re both right under the same roof with you. By expanding your existence, you can embrace one with one hand and strike the other with the other.
It is to me even you are indebted, for the adventure of the Viscountess—It pleases me. I agree with you it must be published, for if the opportunity influenced you, as I am apt to think, to prefer mystery to rumour; at that time must acknowledge, notwithstanding, this woman does not deserve so handsome a procedure.
It seems to me that you are even indebted to me for the adventure of the Viscountess—it pleases me. I agree with you that it should be published, because if the opportunity influenced you, as I tend to think, to prefer mystery over gossip; I must admit, however, that this woman doesn't deserve such a generous treatment.
Moreover, I have reason to dislike her; the Chevalier de Belleroche thinks her handsomer than me, and for several reasons I would be glad to break off with her; there is none more plausible than to have a story to relate, one cannot keep company with her after.
Moreover, I have reasons to dislike her; the Chevalier de Belleroche thinks she’s more attractive than I am, and for several reasons, I would be happy to cut ties with her; there’s no reason more convincing than having a story to tell, you can't stay friends with her afterwards.
Farewell, Viscount! Remember that as you are situated, time is precious: I will employ mine in thinking how to make Prevan happy.
Farewell, Viscount! Keep in mind that with your current circumstances, time is valuable: I'll spend mine thinking about how to make Prevan happy.
Sept. 15, 17—.
Sept. 15, 17—.
LETTER LXXV.
CECILIA VOLANGES to SOPHIA CARNAY.
Cecilia Volanges to Sophia Carnay.
[In this Letter, Cecilia Volanges gives a most circumstantial account of every thing that relates to herself, in the events which the reader has seen at the end of the first volume, the 59th Letter, and the following; for this reason a repetition was thought unnecessary; at last she speaks of Viscount de Valmont, and thus expresses herself:]
[In this Letter, Cecilia Volanges provides a detailed account of everything that concerns her, regarding the events that the reader has witnessed at the end of the first volume, the 59th Letter, and the ones that follow; for this reason, a repetition was deemed unnecessary; finally, she talks about Viscount de Valmont and expresses herself this way:]
I assure you he is a very extraordinary man: my mamma speaks very ill of him, but the Chevalier Danceny is enamoured with him, and I believe he is in the right. I never saw a man so artful; when he gave me Danceny’s letter, it was amongst a good deal of company, and no one knew any thing of the matter. It is true I was very much frightened, because I had no notion of any such thing, but hereafter I shall be on the watch. I conceive, already, how he would have me return the answer; it is very easy to understand him, for he has an eye tells one every thing; I do not know how he contrives: he told me in the note which I mentioned to you, he would not seem to take any notice of me before mamma; really one would imagine he never thinks of it, and yet every time I want to look at him, I am sure to meet his eyes fixed upon me.
I promise you he’s a really exceptional guy: my mom talks poorly of him, but Chevalier Danceny is in love with him, and I think he’s got it right. I’ve never seen someone so clever; when he handed me Danceny’s letter, we were in a big group, and no one had a clue about it. It’s true I was pretty scared because I had no idea this was happening, but from now on I’ll be more alert. I already have an idea of how he wants me to respond; it’s easy to understand him because he has a way of making everything clear with his eyes. I don’t know how he does it: he mentioned in the note I told you about that he wouldn’t act like he noticed me in front of my mom; honestly, you’d think he never thinks of it, but every time I want to look at him, I always find his eyes fixed on me.
There is a lady here, also an intimate friend of mamma’s, I did not know, who appears to me not to like Mr. de Valmont. Although he seems to be all attention to her, I am afraid he will soon grow tired of this life, and return to Paris; that would be dreadful indeed! He must be an exceeding good-natured man, to come here on purpose to serve his friend and me. I wish to know how I could testify my gratitude; but I don’t know how to speak to him; and if I even had the opportunity, I should be so ashamed I should not know what to say.
There’s a woman here, who is also a close friend of my mom’s, that I didn’t know about. She doesn’t seem to like Mr. de Valmont. Even though he shows her a lot of attention, I’m worried he’ll get bored with this life and go back to Paris; that would be terrible! He must be really nice to come all this way just to help his friend and me. I wish I knew how to show my appreciation; but I don’t know how to talk to him, and even if I had the chance, I’d be so embarrassed I wouldn’t know what to say.
I cannot speak to any body freely, about my love affair, but Madame de Merteuil; perhaps even with thee, to whom I tell every thing, if it was in a chatting way, I should be abashed. Even with Danceny himself, I have often felt, as it were, against my inclination, a kind of fear, which prevented me from saying every thing I could wish. I am very sorry for it now, and I would give any thing in the world for a moment, to tell him only once how much I love him. Mr. de Valmont has promised him, if I will be ruled by him, he will find an opportunity for us to see each other. I am very well inclined to do whatever he would have me; but I can’t conceive how it is possible.
I can't talk to anyone openly about my love life, except Madame de Merteuil; maybe even with you, to whom I share everything, I'd feel embarrassed if it was just a casual chat. Even with Danceny, I've often felt a kind of fear that held me back from saying everything I wanted. I really regret that now, and I'd give anything for just one moment to tell him how much I love him. Mr. de Valmont has promised Danceny that if I follow his lead, he will find a way for us to meet. I'm pretty willing to do whatever he wants, but I just can’t figure out how that’s possible.
From the Castle of ——, Sept. 14, 17—.
From the Castle of ——, Sept. 14, 17—.
[1] Mademoiselle de Volanges having a little time after changed her confidant, as will be seen in the following Letters, there will no more be given in this collection of those she continued to write to her friend in the convent.
[1] Mademoiselle de Volanges, having had a bit of time after, changed her confidant, as will be shown in the following Letters. There will no longer be additional letters in this collection that she continued to write to her friend in the convent.
LETTER LXXVI.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Viscount Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
I cannot comprehend you; you were either in a whimsical mood, or, when you wrote, in a very dangerous fit of madness. If I did not know you very well, my charming friend, I should be really alarmed; and, colour it as you will, I should have a great deal of reason.
I can't understand you; you were either in a playful mood, or, when you wrote, in a pretty dangerous state of madness. If I didn't know you well, my lovely friend, I would be really worried; and, no matter how you spin it, I would have plenty of reason to be.
Vainly do I read, and read again, your letter. I can’t conceive you; for it is impossible to take your letter in the style it is couched; what did you then mean to say? Did you only mean there was no occasion to give oneself so much trouble against so despicable an enemy: if so, you are wrong. Prevan is really amiable; he is more so than you imagine; and has, in a peculiar manner, that happy talent of interesting one much about love affairs, which he introduces on every occasion, and in all companies. Few women can avoid the snare of replication, because, as they all have pretensions to artifice, none will lose the opportunity of displaying it. And I need not tell you that a woman, who consents to talk of love, commonly ends with being entrapped, or, at least, acts as if she was. He refines on this method, which he has even brought to a science, by often introducing the women themselves as witnesses of their own defeat: this I aver, and can prove.
I read and reread your letter in vain. I can’t wrap my head around your thoughts because it’s impossible to understand your letter the way it’s written; what did you actually mean? Did you just mean to say that it’s unnecessary to bother with such a pathetic enemy? If that’s the case, you’re mistaken. Prevan is genuinely charming; he’s more charming than you think, and he has this unique ability to make everyone interested in love stories, which he brings up all the time, no matter where he is. Few women can resist the temptation to engage because they all want to show off their cleverness, so none will miss the chance to demonstrate it. And I don’t need to tell you that when a woman agrees to talk about love, she often ends up caught in it, or at least pretends to be. He uses this approach so cleverly that he’s almost turned it into an art; he often brings the women in as witnesses to their own downfall: I can assure you of this and prove it.
I was let into the secret only at second hand; for I never was intimate with Prevan. We were six in company: the Countess de P——, thinking herself amazingly fine, and even possessing the talent of keeping up a general conversation well, related to us minutely the manner she had surrendered to Prevan, with all circumstances. She gave the recital with so much composure, that she was not even disconcerted at a smile which escaped us all at the same time. I shall never forget, one of us, to excuse himself, feigned to doubt what she said, or rather what she related; she gravely answered, that none of us could be so well informed as she; and she was not even afraid to call upon Prevan, and ask him whether she had omitted a single circumstance.
I only learned the secret indirectly because I was never close with Prevan. There were six of us: the Countess de P——, fancying herself quite impressive and even skilled at maintaining a general conversation, detailed to us exactly how she had given herself to Prevan, including all the details. She recounted it with such calmness that she wasn’t even thrown off by the smile that spread across all our faces at once. I’ll never forget how one of us, trying to defend himself, pretended to doubt her story, or rather what she was sharing; she seriously replied that none of us could possibly know better than her; and she wasn’t even shy about calling on Prevan to ask him if she had left out a single detail.
This I think sufficient to call him a very dangerous man: but is it not enough for you, Marchioness, he is handsome, very handsome, as you say? Or that he should make on you one of those attacks that you are sometimes fond of rewarding, for no other motive, but because you think it well carried on? Or that you would think it pleasing to surrender for any reason whatever? Or—but it is impossible for me to guess the infinity of whims which rule the minds of women, and by which alone you resemble your sex. Now you are informed of the danger, I have no doubt; but you may easily avoid it; and yet it was necessary to put you on your guard. I return to my text; what do you mean to say?
I think it's enough to call him a very dangerous man, but isn't it enough for you, Marchioness, that he is handsome, very handsome, as you say? Or that he might make one of those advances that you sometimes enjoy rewarding, not for any other reason, but because you think it's well done? Or that you would find it enjoyable to give in for any reason at all? Or—but I can’t even begin to guess the endless whims that drive women's thoughts, which is the only way you’re like your gender. Now that you know about the danger, I have no doubt; but you can easily avoid it. Still, I thought it was important to warn you. Now, back to my point; what do you want to say?
If it is not a banter on Prevan, besides its being very long, it is not to me it can be useful; it is in the face of the world you must make him ridiculous; and I renew my instances to you on that subject.
If it’s not just a joke about Prevan, and considering how lengthy it is, I don’t see how it can be useful to me; you must make him look foolish in front of everyone; and I’m repeating my request to you on that topic.
Ah! I believe I have discovered the enigma. Your letter is a prophecy; not what you will do, but what he will believe you ready to do, at the moment of his disgrace. I approve this project well enough; however, it requires great management. You know, as well as I do, it is absolutely the same thing to the public, whether you are connected with a man, or receive his addresses, unless the man is a fool, which Prevan is not by any means; if he can only save appearances, he will brag, and every thing will be greedily swallowed. Fools will believe him, others will seem to believe him; and then what becomes of your resources? I am really alarmed; not that I have any doubt of your abilities; but the best swimmers are often drowned.
Ah! I think I've figured out the puzzle. Your letter is a prediction; not about what you will do, but what he will think you’re ready to do at the moment of his downfall. I'm on board with this plan, but it requires careful handling. You know, just as well as I do, that to the public, it’s basically the same whether you’re involved with a guy or just receiving his messages, unless the guy is an idiot, which Prevan definitely is not; if he can manage to save face, he’ll brag, and everyone will eagerly believe him. Fools will trust him, and others will pretend to believe him; and what happens to your resources then? I'm genuinely worried; not because I doubt your skills, but because the best swimmers can still drown.
I think myself no novice in the ways of debauchery. I have discovered a hundred, nay, a thousand. My mind is often engaged in thinking how a woman could escape me, and I never could find out the possibility. Even yourself, my charming friend, whose conduct is a masterpiece; I have often thought your success was more owing to good fortune than good management.
I don't consider myself inexperienced when it comes to indulgence. I've found countless ways, really. I often ponder how a woman could get away from me, and I've never figured out a way. Even you, my lovely friend, with your impressive behavior; I've often thought your success is more about luck than skill.
After all, I am, perhaps, seeking a reason where there is none; and I am astonished I have been for this hour past treating seriously a subject that you certainly mean as a jest. How you will laugh at me! but be it so; let us talk of something else. I am wrong; it must be the same subject; always of women to be had or ruined, and often of both.
After all, I might be looking for a reason where there isn’t one; and I’m surprised that I’ve been taking seriously a topic that you clearly see as a joke. You're probably going to laugh at me! But so be it; let’s talk about something else. I’m mistaken; it has to be the same topic; always about women to be won or lost, and often about both.
I have here wherewithal, as you justly remark, to give me employment in both capacities, but not with equal facility. I foresee revenge will outstrip love. The little Volanges is ready, I will answer for her; all now depends upon the opportunity which I take upon me to provide: but not so with Madame de Tourvel; this woman distracts me. I have no conception of her. I have a hundred proofs of her love; but I have also a thousand of her resistance. Upon my word, I am afraid she will escape me.
I have the means, as you rightly point out, to keep myself busy in both ways, but not with the same ease. I can see revenge will come faster than love. Little Volanges is prepared; I can guarantee that. Everything now rests on the opportunity I need to create. But it's different with Madame de Tourvel; this woman is driving me crazy. I can't figure her out. I have countless signs of her love, but I also have a thousand reasons for her resistance. Honestly, I’m afraid she might get away from me.
The first effect that my return produced gave me more flattering expectations. You may guess, I was willing to judge for myself; and to be certain of seeing her first emotions, I took care not to be announced by any formality, calculating my journey so as to arrive while they were at dinner, and fell from the clouds like an opera divinity.
The first impression my return made created more hopeful expectations. You can imagine, I was eager to see for myself; wanting to witness her initial reactions, I made sure not to announce myself formally, timing my arrival to coincide with their dinner, and appeared out of nowhere like an opera star.
Having made a sufficient noise coming in to draw their attention to me, I could observe with the same glance my old aunt’s joy, Madame de Volanges’ vexation, and the confused pleasure of her daughter. My fair one sat with her back to the door. Being employed at that instant cutting up something, she did not even turn her head. I addressed myself to Madame de Rosemonde; and at the first word, the tender devotee hearing my voice, gave a scream, in which I thought there was more of love than surprise or terror. I was then got so far into the room as to be able to observe her countenance; the tumult of her soul, the struggle of ideas and sentiments, were strongly depicted in twenty different forms on it. I seated myself at table close by her; she did not know what she said or did. She endeavoured to keep on eating; but it was in vain. At length, in less than a quarter of an hour, her pleasure and her embarrassment overpowering her, she thought it best to beg leave to retire from table, under a pretence of wanting a little air. Madame de Volanges wanted to accompany her; the tender prude would not permit it: too happy, doubtless, to find a pretence to be alone, and give herself up without restraint to the soft emotions of her heart.
Having made enough noise coming in to get their attention, I could see my old aunt’s happiness, Madame de Volanges’ annoyance, and her daughter's mixed delight. My lovely one was sitting with her back to the door. At that moment, while she was busy cutting something, she didn’t even turn her head. I spoke to Madame de Rosemonde; at the first word, the tender devotee heard my voice and let out a scream that felt more like love than surprise or fear. At that point, I was far enough into the room to see her face; the turmoil in her mind, the battle of thoughts and feelings, was clearly reflected in many different ways. I sat down at the table next to her; she was oblivious to what she was saying or doing. She tried to keep eating, but it was impossible. Finally, in less than fifteen minutes, overwhelmed by her joy and embarrassment, she decided it was best to ask to leave the table, claiming she needed a bit of fresh air. Madame de Volanges wanted to go with her, but the tender prude wouldn’t allow it, undoubtedly too happy to find a reason to be alone and fully surrender to the gentle feelings in her heart.
I dispatched my dinner as soon as possible. The dessert was scarcely served, when the infernal Volanges, probably with a design to prejudice me, got up to follow the charming woman. I foresaw this project, but disappointed her. I feigned to take this particular motion for a general one; and rising at the same time, the little Volanges and the curate of the place followed our example, so that Madame de Rosemonde was left at table with the old Commander de T—, who both also took the resolution to follow us. We all went then to join my fair one, whom we found in the arbour near the castle; and as she wanted solitude more than a walk, she chose rather to return with us, than to oblige us to stay with her. As soon as I was certain that Madame de Volanges would not have an opportunity of speaking to her alone, I began to think of executing your orders, and exert myself for the interest of your pupil. When coffee was over, I went up to my apartment, entered the other’s to reconnoitre the ground, and formed my dispositions to ensure the correspondence of the little one. After this first step, I wrote a few words to inform her of it; and to demand her confidence, I tacked my note to Danceny’s letter; returned to the saloon, where I found my fair one stretched upon a sofa at full length, in a most delicious abandonment.
I finished my dinner as quickly as I could. Just as dessert was being served, the troublesome Volanges, probably trying to undermine me, got up to follow the lovely lady. I anticipated this move but thwarted her plans. I pretended to take this action as a general one; and rising at the same time, the little Volanges and the local priest followed our lead, leaving Madame de Rosemonde at the table with the old Commander de T—, who also decided to join us. We all went to find my beautiful companion, whom we discovered in the arbor near the castle; and since she preferred solitude over a walk, she chose to return with us instead of making us stay with her. Once I was sure that Madame de Volanges wouldn’t have the chance to talk to her alone, I started to think about carrying out your instructions and working on behalf of your pupil. After coffee, I went up to my room, entered the other room to check things out, and planned how to ensure the little one's cooperation. After taking this first step, I wrote a few words to inform her about it and to ask for her trust, attaching my note to Danceny’s letter; then I returned to the lounge, where I found my lovely one stretched out on a sofa, completely relaxed.
This sight rousing my desires, animated my looks. I knew they should be tender, yet urgent; and placed myself in such a manner, as to be able to employ them successfully. Their first essay obliged my celestial prude to cast down her beautiful modest eyes. I viewed for some time this angelic figure; then running over her whole frame, amused myself with considering the outlines and forms of her person through the light dress she wore. After gazing on her from head to foot, my eyes went back from the feet to the head—my charming friend, the soft look was fixed on me, but she instantly cast her eyes down again; being desirous of bringing them back, I turned my eyes from her. Then was established between us that silent convention, the first treaty of timid lovers, who to satisfy the mutual want of seeing each other, permit soft looks to succeed until they mingle together.
This sight stirred my desires and brightened my expression. I knew I had to look both tender and urgent, so I positioned myself to use my gaze effectively. My first attempt made my celestial prude lower her beautiful, modest eyes. I admired this angelic figure for a while, then let my eyes wander over her entire frame, enjoying the way her light dress outlined her shape. After taking in every detail from head to toe, I let my gaze travel back up—my charming friend held a soft look on me, but she quickly glanced down again. Wanting to bring her eyes back to me, I turned my own away. This created a silent understanding between us, the first agreement of shy lovers, who, to satisfy their mutual desire to see each other, allowed soft glances to flow until they came together.
Fully satisfied that my charmer was entirely taken up with this new delight, I took upon me to watch for our mutual safety: but when I was assured that a pretty lively conversation took off the attention of the company, I endeavoured to make the eyes freely speak their own language. At first I darted some glances, but with so much reserve, that modesty itself could not be alarmed at it; and to make the lovely timid woman easier, I appeared as much embarrassed as she; by little and little, our eyes accustomed to meet, fixed themselves a little longer, and at length did not quit each other; I perceived in hers that soft languishing air, happy presage to love and desire: but it was only for a moment; and she soon recovered herself; she changed her looks and position with some confusion.
Completely convinced that my enchantress was completely engrossed in this new joy, I took it upon myself to keep an eye out for our mutual safety. But once I was sure that a lively conversation had captured the attention of the group, I tried to let our eyes express what we felt. At first, I shot some glances her way, but with enough restraint that even modesty wouldn't be offended. To make the lovely, shy woman feel more at ease, I acted just as flustered as she was. Little by little, our eyes got comfortable meeting, lingering just a bit longer each time, until eventually, they couldn't look away from each other. In her eyes, I noticed that soft, longing look, a hopeful sign of love and desire. But it was only for a brief moment; she quickly regained her composure, changed her expression, and shifted her position with a bit of embarrassment.
As I determined she should have no doubt of my remarking her different emotions, I started suddenly, asking her, with a frightened look, if she was indisposed. Immediately the company assembled round her. I let them all pass before me; and as the little Volanges, who was working tapestry near a window, took some time in quitting her frame, I seized the opportunity to give her Danceny’s letter.
As I figured she shouldn't doubt that I noticed her various emotions, I suddenly jumped up and, looking scared, asked her if she was feeling unwell. Right away, everyone gathered around her. I let them all go past me, and as the little Volanges, who was busy with tapestry by the window, took a while to leave her spot, I took the chance to hand her Danceny’s letter.
I was a little distance from her, and threw the letter in her lap. She really did not know what to do. You would have laughed to see her surprise and embarrassment; yet I did not laugh, lest so much awkwardness should betray us: but a glance and a frown, made her comprehend that she was to put it in her pocket.
I was a bit away from her and tossed the letter into her lap. She genuinely didn't know what to do. You would have laughed at her surprise and embarrassment; yet I didn't laugh, so as not to highlight the awkwardness that could expose us: but a look and a frown made her understand that she should put it in her pocket.
The remainder of the day had nothing interesting. What has happened since, will, perhaps, bring on events that will please you, at least, as to what regards your pupil; but it is better to employ one’s time in executing than in relating them: moreover, this is the eighth page I have written, and I am a good deal fatigued; so adieu.
The rest of the day was pretty dull. What’s happened since might lead to events that will, hopefully, interest you, at least where your student is concerned; but it’s better to spend time doing things than talking about them: besides, this is the eighth page I’ve written, and I’m quite tired; so goodbye.
It will be unnecessary to tell you, that the little thing has answered Danceny.[1] I have also had a letter from my fair one, to whom I wrote the day after my arrival. I send you both letters. You will read them, or let it alone; for those perpetual tiresome repetitions, of which I begin to be disgusted, must be very insipid for a person unconcerned.
It’s probably pointless to mention that the little thing has responded to Danceny.[1] I also received a letter from my lovely one, whom I wrote to the day after I got here. I’m sending you both letters. You can read them or not; because those endless, boring repetitions, which I’m starting to find annoying, must be really dull for someone who isn’t involved.
Once more, adieu! I still love you much: but I beg, if you speak again of Prevan, that it may be in intelligible language.
Once again, goodbye! I still love you a lot: but I please ask that if you mention Prevan again, you do so in clear language.
From the Castle of ——, Sept. 17, 17—.
From the Castle of ——, Sept. 17, 17—.
LETTER LXXVII.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
Valmont, Viscount to the President de Tourvel.
From whence proceeds, Madam, the cruel care you take to avoid me? How does it happen, that the most tender eagerness on my part, can only obtain from you an indifference, that one could scarcely justify to a man who had even done one an injury? When love recalls me to your feet, and a happy accident places me beside you, you would rather feign an indisposition, and alarm your friends, than consent to remain near me. How often yesterday did you turn away your eyes from me, to deprive me of the pleasure of a look; and if, for an instant, I could observe less severity in them, it seemed as if you intended not that I should enjoy it, but that I should feel my loss in being deprived of it.
Why do you, Madam, go to such lengths to avoid me? How is it that despite my deepest feelings for you, I only receive your indifference, which could hardly be excused even by someone who's been wronged? When love draws me to you and a fortunate chance puts me by your side, you would rather pretend to be unwell and worry your friends than stay close to me. How many times yesterday did you look away from me, denying me the joy of your gaze; and if, for just a moment, I caught a glimpse of less coldness in your eyes, it felt like you wanted me to suffer by knowing what I was missing.
This is, I dare say, a treatment not consistent with love, nor can it be permitted to friendship; and yet you know that one of those sentiments animates me, and I thought myself authorised to believe you would not refuse me the other. This precious friendship, which you undoubtedly thought me worthy of, as you condescended to offer it, what have I since done to forfeit? Have I prejudiced myself by my frankness; and will you punish me for my candour? Are you not, at least, afraid of offending the one or the other? For is it not in the bosom of my friend I deposit the secrets of my heart? Is it not to her alone I thought myself obliged to refuse conditions which, had I accepted, would give me an opportunity of breaking them, and, perhaps, of successfully abusing them? Or would you force me to believe, by so undeserved a rigour, if I had deceived you, I should have gained more indulgence?
This is, I must say, a treatment that's not consistent with love, nor can it be allowed in friendship; yet you know that one of those feelings drives me, and I believed I could trust you would not deny me the other. This valuable friendship, which you clearly believed I was worthy of when you chose to offer it, what have I done since to lose it? Have I harmed myself by being honest; and will you punish me for my openness? Are you not, at least, concerned about offending one or the other? For isn't it in the heart of my friend that I share my deepest secrets? Is it not to her alone that I felt I had to reject conditions that, if I had accepted, would have given me a chance to break them, and perhaps, to misuse them? Or would you have me think, through such unjust harshness, that if I had cheated you, I would have received more leniency?
I do not repent of a conduct I owe to you and myself: but by what fatality is it, that every laudable action of mine becomes the signal of a new misfortune to me?
I don’t regret the way I’ve acted, which I owe to you and myself. But why is it that every good thing I do seems to lead to a new misfortune for me?
And after having, by my obedience, merited the only praise you have vouchsafed to bestow on my conduct, I now, for the first time, lament the misfortune of displeasing you. After giving you proofs of my entire submission, by depriving myself of the happiness of seeing you, to please your delicacy, you want to break off your correspondence with me, and take away this feeble amends of a sacrifice you exacted, to deprive me of my love, which alone could have given you that right. In fine, it is after speaking to you with a sincerity which even my love could not weaken, you fly from me to-day as a dangerous seductor, whose perfidiousness was fully proved.
And after earning the only praise you've given me through my obedience, I now, for the first time, regret the misfortune of disappointing you. After showing you my complete submission by giving up the happiness of being with you to respect your feelings, you want to end our correspondence and take away this small act of sacrifice you demanded, making me lose my love, which was the only thing that gave you that right. In short, after speaking to you with a sincerity that even my love couldn’t diminish, you’re turning away from me today as if I were a harmful seducer, whose betrayal was already clear.
Will you then never cease being unjust? Inform me, at least, what new wrongs I have committed, that could cause so much severity; and do not refuse to prescribe the orders you would have me follow. Surely it is not too much to desire to know, when I engage to execute them.
Will you ever stop being unfair? At least tell me what new wrongs I've done that deserve such harshness, and please don’t hesitate to give me the directions you want me to follow. It can’t be too much to ask to know what they are, especially since I’m promising to carry them out.
Sept. 15, 17—.
Sept. 15, 1717—.
LETTER LXXVIII.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The President de Tourvel to the Viscount de Valmont.
You seem surprised, Sir, at my behaviour; and, indeed, your style falls little short of calling me to account, as if you were authorised to blame it. I really think I have much more reason for astonishment and complaint; but since the refusal contained in your last answer, I have taken my resolution to behave with an indifference that may not give any occasion for remarks or reproaches; yet as you ask some eclaircissements which, I thank heaven, I find no difficulty in giving, I will once more explain myself.
You seem surprised, Sir, by my behavior; and honestly, your tone comes close to calling me out, as if you had the right to criticize it. I actually believe I have more reason to be shocked and upset, but ever since your last response, I've decided to act indifferent to avoid any comments or criticisms. However, since you’re asking for clarification, which I’m glad to provide, I’ll explain myself once more.
Any person who should read your letters would think me either unjust or fantastical. I don’t think I deserve that character; but I am of opinion, you above all the rest of mankind would be the readiest to catch at it. You must be sensible, that in putting me under the necessity of a justification, you oblige me to recall every thing that has passed between us. You imagined you would gain by the scrutiny: I am inclined to think, I may even stand the test in your opinion; and perhaps it is the only way to discover which of us has a right to complain.
Anyone who reads your letters would think I'm either unfair or delusional. I don’t believe I deserve that reputation; however, I think you, more than anyone else, would be quick to agree with it. You must realize that by putting me in a position where I need to justify myself, you're forcing me to remember everything that has happened between us. You thought you would benefit from this investigation: I’m starting to think I might actually hold up in your eyes; and perhaps this is the only way to find out who truly has the right to complain.
To begin, Sir, from the day of your arrival at this castle. You will acknowledge, I hope, your character authorised me at least to be upon the reserve, and I might, without apprehending the imputation of an excess of prudery, have restricted myself to exact politeness. You yourself would have behaved to me with deference, and only thought it strange, that a plain woman, so unacquainted with the ways of the world, had not sufficient penetration to appreciate your merit; that would have been certainly the most prudent method, and which I was so much inclined to follow, that I will freely own, when Madame de Rosemonde came to inform me of your arrival, I had occasion to recollect my friendship for her, and hers for you, to conceal my uneasiness at the unwelcome news.
To start, Sir, since the day you arrived at this castle, I hope you understand that your status gave me a reason to be cautious, and I could have simply stuck to polite behavior without being seen as overly reserved. You would have treated me with respect and likely found it odd that a plain woman, unfamiliar with the world, couldn’t see your worth; that would have been the most sensible approach. I was so inclined to go along with it that I admit, when Madame de Rosemonde came to tell me about your arrival, I had to remind myself of my friendship with her and hers with you to hide my discomfort at the unwelcome news.
I will freely own, at first you exhibited a behaviour much more favourable to you than what I had conceived: but you must also allow, it lasted but a very short time; and that you soon grew tired of a constraint, for which you did not think yourself sufficiently indemnified by the advantageous idea I had of you.
I’ll admit, at first you showed a behavior that was much more favorable to you than I had thought. But you have to acknowledge that it didn’t last long; you quickly got tired of a constraint that you didn’t feel compensated for by the positive impression I had of you.
Then taking advantage of my candour and tranquillity, you did not scruple cherishing sentiments which you could not have the least doubt but would offend me; and whilst you was every day multiplying and aggravating the wrongs you did me, I endeavoured to forget them, and even offered you an opportunity, in some measure, of redressing them. My requisition was so fair, that you even thought you could not refuse it, but asserting a right from my indulgence, you made use of it to demand a permission, which doubtless I ought not to have granted, and which yet you obtained. The conditions annexed to it you did not observe; your correspondence was such, that each letter made it a duty to answer you no more. Even at the very time when your obstinacy obliged me to insist on your going away, that by a blameable condescension I sought the only means which, consistent with duty, was allowed me not to break entirely with you. But an humble sentiment has no value in your eyes. You despise friendship; and in your mad intoxication, ridiculing misery and shame, you seek nothing but victims and pleasure.
Then, taking advantage of my honesty and composure, you didn’t hesitate to nurture feelings that you knew would upset me. While you continued to multiply and worsen the wrongs you did to me every day, I tried to forget them and even gave you a chance to make things right to some extent. My request was so reasonable that you believed you couldn’t refuse it, but instead of appreciating my leniency, you used it to demand a favor that I definitely shouldn’t have granted, and yet you got it. You didn’t follow the conditions attached to it; your correspondence was such that each letter made it feel like I had to stop responding. Even at the moment when your stubbornness forced me to insist that you leave, I tried to find a way to avoid completely breaking off our relationship, which was the only option available to me that didn’t compromise my duty. But a humble sentiment means nothing to you. You disregard friendship; in your reckless obsession, making fun of pain and shame, you seek nothing but victims and pleasure.
As fickle in your proceedings, as contrary to your own principles in your charges, you forget your promises, or you make a jest of violating them; and after consenting to depart from me, you come back without being recalled, without paying the least regard to my solicitations or my reasons, without even the decency of a notice. You ventured to expose me to a surprise, which, although very simple in itself, might have been interpreted very unfavourably for me by the persons who were present, and, far from endeavouring to dissipate this moment of embarrassment you gave birth to, you carefully sought to augment it. At table you chose precisely to place yourself beside me. A slight indisposition obliged me to go out before any of the company; and instead of paying any respect to my solitude, you bring them all to disturb me. Being returned again into the saloon, if I move, you follow me; if I speak, you always reply to me. The most indifferent word is a pretence for you to bring on a conversation, which I do not wish to hear, and which often may bring my name in question; for notwithstanding all your address, Sir, I believe others can see as well as me.
As changeable in your actions, as inconsistent with your own values in your accusations, you forget your promises or you mock breaking them; and after agreeing to leave me, you return uninvited, ignoring my pleas and my reasons, without even the courtesy of a heads-up. You put me in a situation that, although quite simple, could have been seen very negatively by those around us, and rather than trying to ease the awkwardness you created, you actually made it worse. At dinner, you deliberately chose to sit next to me. A minor illness forced me to leave the room before the others, and instead of respecting my need for solitude, you brought everyone in to bother me. When I returned to the main room, if I moved, you followed me; if I spoke, you always answered. Even the most casual comment is your excuse to start a conversation that I don't want to engage in, which often puts my reputation at risk; because despite all your cleverness, I believe others can see just as clearly as I do.
Thus, then, reduced to a state of inaction and silence, you nevertheless continue to pursue me. I cannot lift my eyes without meeting yours. I am incessantly obliged to turn my looks from you; and by an inconsequence, you fix the eyes of the whole company on me, at a time when I could even wish to hide myself from my own.
Thus, reduced to a state of inaction and silence, you still keep pursuing me. I can’t lift my eyes without meeting yours. I constantly have to look away from you; yet, oddly enough, you draw the attention of everyone in the room to me, at a moment when I would even prefer to hide from my own reflection.
Yet you complain of my behaviour, and are astonished at my anxiety to fly from you. Blame rather my indulgence, and be astonished I did not set out the moment you arrived. I ought to have done it; perhaps you will yet oblige me to this violent, though necessary measure, if you do not cease your offensive pursuits. No; I never will forget what I owe to myself, what I owe to the obligations I have taken, which I respect and cherish. Be assured, if I should ever be reduced to the unhappy choice of sacrificing myself or them, I would not hesitate a moment.
Yet you complain about how I behave and are surprised by how eager I am to leave you. Instead, blame my tolerance and be amazed that I didn't leave the moment you arrived. I should have done that; maybe you'll force me into this drastic, though necessary, action if you don't stop your intrusive actions. No; I will never forget what I owe to myself and the commitments I've made, which I respect and value. Rest assured, if I ever face the unfortunate choice of sacrificing myself or them, I won’t hesitate for a second.
Sept. 16, 17—.
Sept. 16-17—.
LETTER LXXIX.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
The Viscount Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
I thought to have gone a-hunting this morning, but it is most horrible weather. I have no book to read but a new romance that would tire a boarding-school girl. We shall not breakfast these two hours; therefore, notwithstanding my long letter of yesterday, I will still chat with you, and am confident you will not think me tedious, for I will entertain you concerning the very handsome Prevan.
I was planning to go hunting this morning, but the weather is terrible. I have nothing to read except a new romance novel that would bore a boarding-school girl. We won't be having breakfast for another two hours; so, despite my lengthy letter from yesterday, I’ll continue chatting with you, and I'm sure you won't find me boring, because I’ll tell you all about the very handsome Prevan.
So you know nothing at all about this famous adventure which separated the inseparables. I would venture to lay a wager, you will recollect it at the first word. I will give it you, however, since you desire it.
So you don't know anything about this famous adventure that split up the inseparables. I bet you’ll remember it as soon as I say the first word. But I'll tell you anyway since you want to know.
You may remember all Paris was astonished, three women equally handsome, equally possessing the same talents, and having the same pretensions, should remain so intimately connected since the time of their appearance in the world. At first it was imagined it proceeded from their great timidity; but soon surrounded by a number of gallants, whose homages they shared, they soon began to feel their consequence, by the eagerness and assiduity with which they were followed. Still their union became the stronger. One would have imagined the triumph of one was also that of the other two; however, every one flattered himself that love would cause a rivalship. Those fair ones contended for the honour of the apple of discord; and I myself would have been a competitor, if the high reputation the Countess de —— was in at that time would have permitted me to have committed an infidelity before I had obtained the consummation of my desires.
You might remember how everyone in Paris was amazed that three equally beautiful women, who shared the same talents and ambitions, remained so closely connected since their debut in society. At first, people thought it was due to their great shyness, but once they were surrounded by numerous admirers, whose attentions they shared, they quickly started to recognize their own worth, given the enthusiasm and dedication with which they were pursued. Yet, their bond only grew stronger. One could have imagined that the success of one would also reflect on the other two; however, everyone believed that love would create rivalry. Those lovely ladies competed for the title of the most sought-after, and I would have joined the competition myself if the esteemed reputation of Countess de —— at that time hadn't made it impossible for me to entertain infidelity before fulfilling my desires.
However, our three beauties that same carnival made their choice, as if in concert; and far from exciting any disturbance, it rendered their friendship more interesting by the charms of confidence.
However, our three beauties that same carnival made their choice, as if in sync; and rather than causing any disturbance, it made their friendship more intriguing through the charms of trust.
The crowd of unfortunate pretenders coalesced with the envious women, and this scandalous constancy was submitted to public censure. Some promulgated, that in this society of the inseparables, so called at that time, the fundamental law was, that every thing should be in common, that love even was subservient to the same law. Others asserted, that the three lovers were not exempt from rivals. Others went so far as to say, they had only been admitted for decency sake, and had only obtained a sinecure title.
The crowd of unfortunate wannabes gathered with the jealous women, and this scandalous situation faced public criticism. Some claimed that in this group of the inseparables, as it was called back then, the main rule was that everything should be shared, even love was subject to that rule. Others said that the three lovers weren’t free from competition. Some even went so far as to suggest they were only included for appearances and had just received an honorary title.
These reports, whether true or false, had not their wished-for effect; the three couple perceived plainly they were undone if they separated at this period, therefore resolved to stem the torrent. The public, who soon tire of every thing, shortly gave up a fruitless scandal. Carried away by their natural levity, they were engaged in other pursuits. Returning again to this, with their usual inconsequence, they changed their criticisms to commendations. As every thing is here fashionable, the enthusiasm gained ground, and became a perfect rage, when Prevan undertook to verify those prodigies, and to fix the public opinion and his own on them.
These reports, whether they were true or false, didn’t have the desired effect; the three couples clearly saw that they were in trouble if they separated at this point, so they decided to hold their ground. The public, who quickly get tired of everything, soon abandoned the pointless scandal. Caught up in their usual carefree attitude, they got involved in other interests. When they returned to this topic, as is often the case, their criticism turned into praise. Since everything here is trendy, the enthusiasm grew and became a full-blown obsession when Prevan took it upon himself to verify those wonders and to shape both public opinion and his own around them.
He then laid himself out for those models of perfection. Being easily admitted into their society, from thence he drew a favourable omen; he very well knew, those who lived in a happy state were not so accessible; and soon perceived the so-much-boasted happiness, like that of kings, was more envied than desirable. He observed among those pretended inseparables, they began to seek for pleasures abroad, they were often absent; from thence he concluded, the ties of love or friendship were already relaxed or broken; that those of self-love and habit still preserved some kind of strength.
He then set himself up as a model of perfection. He was easily welcomed into their circle, which he took as a good sign; he knew very well that those who lived happily weren’t so easy to approach. He quickly realized that the much-praised happiness, like that of kings, was often more envied than actually desired. He noticed among those so-called inseparables that they began looking for fun elsewhere and were often away; from this, he concluded that the bonds of love or friendship were already loosened or broken, while those of self-love and habit still held some strength.
Still the women, whom necessity kept together, preserved the same appearance of intimacy among themselves: but the men, more free in their proceedings, found duties to fulfil, or business to do, which they always lamented, but nevertheless did not neglect; their meetings were thus scarcely ever complete.
Still, the women, who were brought together by necessity, maintained the same sense of closeness among themselves. However, the men, having more freedom in their actions, found obligations to meet or tasks to complete, which they always complained about but still didn’t ignore; their gatherings were rarely ever complete.
This behaviour was very useful to the assiduous Prevan, who being, in course, at liberty with the widow of the day, alternately found an opportunity of offering the same homage to the three friends. He readily saw, if he made a choice, it would be his destruction; the shame of being discovered to be the first transgressor would deter the one who had the preference, and the vanity of the two others would render them mortal enemies of the new lover; they would not fail to display all their resentment against him, and jealousy would certainly recall a rival, who, perhaps, might be troublesome. Thus every thing was attended with difficulty: but in his triple project, every thing was made easy; each woman was indulgent, because she was interested, and each man, because he thought he was not.
This behavior was really helpful to the diligent Prevan, who, while enjoying the widow’s company each day, also found chances to pay the same attention to his three friends. He quickly realized that if he chose one, it would lead to his downfall; the embarrassment of being caught as the first to break the unspoken agreement would discourage the one he favored, while the egos of the other two would turn them into fierce rivals. They would definitely show their anger toward him, and jealousy could bring back a competitor who might make things difficult. So, everything was complicated; but with his plan involving all three, everything became simple. Each woman was forgiving because she had a stake in it, and each man believed he was uninvolved.
Prevan was engaged to only one woman at that time. Fortunately for him, the sacrifice was not very difficult, as she became celebrated. The addresses of a great prince, which had been dexterously rejected, together with her being a foreigner, had drawn the attention of the court and town upon her. Her lover shared the honour, and made a very good use of it with his new mistresses; the only difficulty was, to carry on those three intrigues in front, whose march should be regulated by the movements of the slowest: and I have been assured by one of his confidents, that his greatest trouble was to retard one of them who was ripe a fortnight before the others.
Prevan was only engaged to one woman at that time. Luckily for him, it wasn't too much of a sacrifice, as she became quite famous. The advances of a prominent prince, which had been skillfully turned down, along with her being a foreigner, caught the attention of both the court and the town. Her lover shared in the glory and made great use of it with his new partners; the only challenge was to manage those three affairs simultaneously, with each one moving at the pace of the slowest. One of his close associates told me that his biggest headache was slowing down one of the relationships that was ready to take off a fortnight before the others.
At length the expected day came. Prevan, who had obtained the consent of them all, regulated their motions in the following manner: One of the husbands was absent, another was to go on a journey early the next morning, the third remained in town. The inseparable friends had agreed to sup with the future widow; but the new master would not suffer any of the old servants to be invited. The morning of the same day, he divided into three lots the fair foreigner’s letters. In the one he enclosed her picture; in the second, an amorous cypher she herself had drawn; the third enclosed a lock of her hair. Each received her share of sacrifice, and, in return, consented to send to their discarded lovers, letters of dismission.
At last, the day everyone was waiting for arrived. Prevan, who had gotten everyone's approval, organized their plans like this: One husband was out of town, another was leaving on a trip early the next morning, and the third was staying in the city. The close friends had decided to have dinner with the soon-to-be widow; however, the new master wouldn’t allow any of the old servants to be invited. That same morning, he split up the fair foreigner’s letters into three parts. One included her picture, the second contained a romantic code she had created, and the third held a lock of her hair. Each person received their piece of the offering, and in exchange, agreed to send farewell letters to their former lovers.
That was doing a great deal; but yet was not enough. She whose husband was in town, was at liberty during the day only; and it was agreed, that a feigned indisposition should prevent her from supping with her friend, but the evening should be dedicated to Prevan; the night was granted by her whose husband was out of town; and day-light, the time the third husband was to set off, was the happy moment allotted for the other.
That was a lot; yet it wasn't enough. The woman whose husband was in town had the freedom of the day only; they agreed that she would fake being unwell to avoid dinner with her friend, but the evening would be for Prevan. The night was given by the woman whose husband was out of town, and the daylight—the time when the third husband was supposed to leave—was the perfect moment set aside for the other.
Prevan, who neglects nothing, flies to the fair foreigner’s in an ill humour, which soon spread, and leaves her, after an altercation which brought on a quarrel that ensured him leave of absence for twenty-four hours at least. His dispositions thus made, he returned home, to take some repose; but other affairs awaited him.
Prevan, who misses no details, rushes to the foreign woman's place in a bad mood, which quickly spreads. After a heated argument that leads to a fight, he gets a 24-hour leave of absence. With those plans set, he goes home to rest, but other issues are waiting for him.
The letters of dismission had opened the eyes of the discarded lovers; none of them had the least doubt but that he was sacrificed to Prevan: and the vexation of being tricked, with the mortification of being discarded, they all three, as if in concert, but without communicating with each other, resolved to have satisfaction, and demanded it accordingly of their fortunate rival.
The dismissal letters had made the discarded lovers realize the truth; none of them doubted that he was sacrificed to Prevan. The frustration of being deceived, combined with the embarrassment of being rejected, led all three of them, as if on cue but without talking to each other, to decide that they wanted revenge, and they confronted their successful rival to get it.
So that at his arrival he found three challenges, which he nobly accepted: but unwilling to lose the pleasure or reputation of this adventure, he fixed the meeting for the next morning, all three at the same hour and place, at one of the gates of the wood of Boulogne.
So when he arrived, he found three challenges, which he gladly accepted. However, not wanting to miss out on the enjoyment or reputation from this adventure, he scheduled the meeting for the next morning, all three at the same hour and place, at one of the gates of the Boulogne woods.
Night being come, he run his triple career with equal success; at least, he has since vaunted, that each of his new mistresses had received three times the pledges of his love. Here, as you may well imagine, the proofs are deficient. All that can be required from the impartial historian is to request the incredulous reader to remark, that vanity, and an exalted imagination can bring forth prodigies. Moreover, the morning that was to follow so brilliant a night, seemed to excuse circumspection for the events of the day. The following facts have, however, a greater degree of certainty.
Night fell, and he enjoyed his three endeavors with equal success; at least, he has since bragged that each of his new lovers received three tokens of his affection. Here, as you can imagine, the evidence is lacking. All the impartial historian can ask of the skeptical reader is to note that vanity and a soaring imagination can create wonders. Moreover, the morning after such a dazzling night seemed to justify caution for the events of the day. However, the following facts carry a greater degree of certainty.
Prevan came punctually to the place appointed, where he found his three rivals, who were a little surprised at meeting each other, and perhaps, partly consoled on seeing the companions of their misfortunes. He accosted them with an affable and cavalier air, and made them the following speech, which has been faithfully related to me:
Prevan arrived right on time at the agreed-upon location, where he found his three rivals, who were slightly surprised to see one another and maybe a bit comforted by the presence of their fellow sufferers. He greeted them with a friendly and relaxed demeanor and delivered the following speech, which has been accurately passed on to me:
“Gentlemen,” said he, “meeting here together, you certainly guess that you have all the same subject of complaint against me. I am ready to give you satisfaction: but let chance decide between you, which of you three will be the first to require a satisfaction that you have all an equal right to. I have brought neither witness nor second. I had not any in the commission of the offence: I do not require any in the reparation.” Then, agreeable to his character of a gamester, “I know,” says he, “one seldom holds in three hands running; but be my fate what it will, the man has lived long enough who has gained the love of the women and the esteem of the men.”
“Gentlemen,” he said, “since we're all gathered here, you can probably guess that you all have the same complaint against me. I’m ready to make things right, but let fate decide which of you three will be the first to demand a resolution that you all have an equal right to. I haven't brought any witnesses or a second. I didn’t have any when the offense happened, and I don’t need any for the resolution.” Then, true to his nature as a gambler, he added, “I know that it’s rare to win in three rounds in a row; but whatever happens to me, the man who has earned the love of women and the respect of men has lived long enough.”
Whilst his adversaries, astonished, silently looked on each other, and, perhaps, hurt at the indelicacy of this triple combat, which made the party very unequal, Prevan resumed, “I will not conceal from you, that last night has been a very fatiguing one. It would be but generous to give me time to recruit. I have given order to prepare a breakfast; do me the honour to accept of it. Let us breakfast together with good humour. One may fight for such trifles; but I don’t think it should have any effect on our spirits.”
While his opponents, surprised, silently exchanged glances, and perhaps felt uncomfortable about the unfairness of this three-way fight, Prevan continued, “I won't hide the fact that last night was quite exhausting for me. It would be considerate to give me some time to recover. I've arranged for breakfast; please do me the honor of accepting it. Let’s share a meal together in good spirits. One can fight over such small matters, but I don’t believe it should dampen our mood.”
The breakfast was accepted. It is said, Prevan never shone more. He not only had the address not to mortify his rivals, but even to persuade them, they all would have easily had the same success; and made them agree, that none would have let slip the opportunity no more than himself. Those facts being acknowledged, the matter was entirely settled; and before breakfast was over, they often repeated, that such women did not deserve that men of honour should quarrel about them. This idea brought on cordiality; the wine strengthened it; so that in a short time afterwards, an unreserved friendship succeeded rancour.
The breakfast was well received. It's said that Prevan never looked better. He not only had the tact to avoid embarrassing his rivals, but he also convinced them that they could easily have achieved the same success; he got them to agree that no one would have missed the opportunity any more than he did. With those facts acknowledged, the issue was completely resolved; and before breakfast was over, they frequently remarked that such women didn't deserve men of honor to fight over them. This idea fostered camaraderie; the wine reinforced it, and before long, a genuine friendship replaced the bitterness.
Prevan, who doubtless liked this denouement as well as the other, would not, however, lose his celebrity; and dexterously forming his projects to circumstances, “Really,” says he, “it is not of me, but of your faithless mistresses you should be revenged, and I will give you the opportunity. I already feel, as you do, an injury, which I shall soon share with you; for if neither of you have been able to fix the constancy of one, how can I expect that I can fix them all? Your quarrel then becomes my own. If you will sup with me to-night at my villa, I hope to give you your revenge.” They desired an explanation: but he answered with that tone of superiority, which the circumstances authorised him to take, “Gentlemen, I think I have already sufficiently shown you, that I know how to conduct matters; leave every thing to me.” They all agreed; and having took leave of their new friend, separated until evening, to wait the effect of his promises.
Prevan, who surely appreciated this outcome just as much as the others, wouldn't lose his fame. Skillfully adapting his plans to the situation, he said, “Honestly, it's not about me, but about your unfaithful mistresses that you should seek revenge on, and I'll give you that chance. I already feel, just like you do, a hurt that I’ll soon share with you; if both of you couldn’t hold onto one, how can I expect to hold onto them all? So your grudge becomes mine. If you’ll have dinner with me tonight at my villa, I hope to help you get your revenge.” They asked for clarification, but he responded with a tone of confidence that the situation allowed him to use, “Gentlemen, I believe I have already shown you that I know how to handle things; just leave everything to me.” They all agreed, and after saying goodbye to their new friend, they parted ways until the evening to see what would come of his promises.
He returned immediately to Paris, and, according to custom, waited on his new conquests; obtained a promise from each to take a tête-à-tête supper with him at his villa. Two of them started some small difficulties, but nothing was to be refused after such a night. He made his appointments at an hour’s distance from each other, to give him the time necessary for the maturing his scheme. After these preparations, he gave notice to the other conspirators, and they all impatiently expected their victims.
He went straight back to Paris and, as usual, met up with his new conquests. He got promises from each of them to have a private dinner with him at his villa. Two of them raised some minor issues, but nothing could be turned down after such a night. He scheduled the dinners an hour apart to give himself enough time to put his plan into action. After making these arrangements, he informed the other conspirators, and they all eagerly awaited their targets.
The first being arrived, Prevan alone received her, and with a seeming eagerness led her to the sanctuary, of which she imagined herself the goddess; then retiring on some slight pretence, was immediately replaced by the insulted lover.
The first being arrived, Prevan alone welcomed her and, with feigned eagerness, guided her to the sanctuary, where she thought of herself as the goddess; then, under some trivial excuse, withdrew and was quickly replaced by the offended lover.
You may guess the confusion. A woman who was not accustomed to adventures of this sort, rendered the triumph very easy. Every reproach that was omitted, was looked on as a favour; and the fugitive slave, again delivered to her first master, thought herself happy in the hope of pardon on resuming her chains. The treaty of peace was ratified in a more solitary place; and the void scene was alternately replaced by the other actors in pretty much the same manner, but with the same finale.
You can imagine the confusion. A woman not used to adventures like this made the victory pretty easy. Every criticism that was left out felt like a gift; and the runaway slave, back in the hands of her original master, felt lucky with the hope of forgiveness as she accepted her chains again. The peace treaty was finalized in a more secluded spot; and the empty scene was taken over by the other characters in a similar way, but with the same ending.
Still each of the women thought herself sola in this play. Their astonishment is not to be described, when, called to supper, the three couple reunited: but their confusion was at the summit, when Prevan made his appearance, and had the barbarity to make apologies to the ladies, which, by disclosing their secrets, convinced them fully how much they had been tricked.
Still, each of the women thought she was sola in this play. Their astonishment is hard to describe when, called to supper, the three couples came together again: but their confusion reached its peak when Prevan showed up and had the audacity to apologize to the ladies, which, by revealing their secrets, fully convinced them of how much they had been deceived.
They sat down, however, to table, and recovering from their confusion, the men gave themselves up to mirth, and the women yielded. It is true, their hearts were all full of rancour; but yet the conversation was nevertheless amorous; gaiety kindled desire, which brought additional charms; and this astonishing revel lasted till morning. At parting, the women had reason to think themselves forgiven: but the men, who preserved their resentment, entirely broke off the connection the next day; and not satisfied with having abandoned their fickle ladies, in revenge, published the adventure. Since, one has been shut up in a convent, and the other two are exiled to their estates in the country.
They sat down at the table, and after shaking off their confusion, the men started to let loose, and the women joined in. It's true, their hearts were filled with bitterness, but the conversation still turned romantic; laughter sparked desire, which added to the attraction, and this incredible celebration lasted until morning. When they parted, the women felt they were forgiven, but the men, holding onto their anger, completely ended the relationship the next day; and not content with just leaving their unfaithful partners, they publicly shared the story as revenge. Since then, one has been sent to a convent, and the other two are exiled to their country estates.
Thus you have heard Prevan’s history. And now I leave you to determine whether you will add to his fame, and be yoked to his triumphal chariot Your letter has made me really uneasy; and I wait with the utmost impatience a more explicit and prudent answer to my last.
Thus you have heard Prevan’s story. Now I leave it to you to decide if you'll contribute to his fame and be linked to his victorious chariot. Your letter has made me quite anxious, and I'm eagerly waiting for a clearer and more thoughtful response to my last message.
Adieu, my lovely friend! Be diffident of whimsical or pleasing ideas, which you are rather apt to be readily seduced by. Remember, that in the course you run, wit alone is not sufficient: that one single imprudent step becomes an irremediable evil: and permit prudent friendship to sometimes guide your pleasures.
Adieu, my lovely friend! Be cautious of whimsical or charming ideas, which you tend to be easily drawn to. Remember, that in the path you take, wit alone isn’t enough: that one careless step can lead to irreversible problems: and allow wise friendship to occasionally steer your enjoyment.
Adieu! I love you notwithstanding, as much as if you was rational.
Adieu! I love you nonetheless, just as much as if you were rational.
Sept. 18, 17—.
Sept. 18, 17—.
LETTER LXXX.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to CECILIA VOLANGES.
Chevalier Danceny to Cecilia Volanges.
Cecilia, my dear Cecilia! when shall we see each other again? How shall I live without you? Where shall I find strength or resolution? No, never, never, shall I be able to bear this cruel absence. Each day adds to my misery, without the least prospect of its having an end. Valmont, who had promised me assistance and consolation; Valmont neglects, and, perhaps, forgets me. He is with his love, and no longer acquainted with the sufferings of absence. He has not wrote to me, although he forwarded me the last letter; and yet it is on him I depend to know when and by what means I shall have the happiness to see you. He, then, can say nothing. You even do not mention a syllable about it. Surely it cannot be, that you no longer wish for it. Ah, my Cecilia! I am very unhappy. I love you more than ever: but this passion, which was the delight of my life, is now become my torment.
Cecilia, my dear Cecilia! When will we see each other again? How will I get by without you? Where will I find the strength or determination? No, I will never be able to handle this painful separation. Each day just adds to my misery, with no sign of it coming to an end. Valmont, who promised me support and comfort, neglects me and maybe even forgets me. He’s with his love now and no longer knows the pain of being apart. He hasn’t written to me, even though he forwarded the last letter. And yet, I rely on him to tell me when and how I’ll get the happiness of seeing you. So he can’t say anything. You don’t even mention it at all. Surely, it can’t be that you no longer want it. Oh, my Cecilia! I am so unhappy. I love you more than ever, but this passion, which once brought me joy, has turned into my torment.
No, I will no longer live thus. I must see you, if it was but for a moment. When I rise, I say to myself I shall see her no more. Going to bed, I say, I have not seen her: and notwithstanding the length of the days, not a moment of happiness for me. All is grief, all is despair; and all those miseries arrive from whence I expected all my joys. You will have an idea of my situation, if you add to all this, my uneasiness on your account. I am incessantly thinking of you; and ever with grief. If I see you unhappy and afflicted, I bear a part in your misfortunes; if I see you in tranquillity and consoled, my griefs are redoubled. Everywhere and in every circumstance am I miserable.
No, I can’t live like this anymore. I need to see you, even if just for a moment. When I wake up, I tell myself I won't see you again. When I go to bed, I say I haven’t seen you: and no matter how long the days are, there’s not a moment of happiness for me. Everything is sorrow, everything is despair; and all this misery comes from where I expected all my joy to come from. You can imagine how I feel if you add to this my worry about you. I’m constantly thinking about you, and it’s always with sadness. If I see you unhappy and suffering, I feel a part of your pain; if I see you feeling calm and comforted, my grief just intensifies. I’m miserable everywhere and in every situation.
Ah! it was not thus when you were here; every thing was then delight: the certainty of seeing you made absence supportable. You knew how I employed my time. If I fulfilled any duties, they rendered me more worthy of you; if I cultivated any science, it was in hopes to be more pleasing to you, whenever the distractions of the world drew me from you. At the opera, I sought to discover what would please you. A concert recalled to my mind your talents, and our pleasing occupations in company. In my walks, I eagerly sought the most slight resemblance of you. I compared you to all wherever you had the advantage. Every moment of the day was distinguished by a new homage, and each evening laid the tribute at your feet.
Ah! It wasn't like this when you were here; everything was a joy back then: the certainty of seeing you made being apart bearable. You knew how I spent my time. If I completed any tasks, they made me feel more deserving of you; if I studied anything, it was in hopes of being more appealing to you whenever the distractions of the world pulled me away from you. At the opera, I tried to figure out what would make you happy. A concert reminded me of your talents and our enjoyable times together. On my walks, I eagerly looked for the slightest resemblance to you. I compared you to everyone and found you superior. Every moment of the day was marked by a new tribute, and each evening brought a tribute to your feet.
What is now left me? Melancholy grief, and the slight hope which Valmont’s silence diminishes, and yours converts into uneasiness. Ten leagues only separate us: and yet this short space becomes an insurmountable obstacle to me; and when I implore the assistance of my friend and of my love, both are cold and silent; far from assisting, they will not even answer me.
What is left for me now? Sadness and the little hope that Valmont’s silence drains away, while yours turns into anxiety. We’re only ten leagues apart, and yet this short distance feels like an insurmountable barrier to me; when I reach out to my friend and my love for help, both are cold and silent; instead of helping, they won’t even respond to me.
What, then, is become of the active friendship of Valmont? But what is become of the tender sentiments which inspired you with that readiness of finding out means of daily seeing each other? I remember, sometimes I found myself obliged to sacrifice them to considerations and to duties. What did you then not say to me? By how many pretexts did you not combat my reasons? I beg you will remember, my Cecilia, that my reasons always gave way to your wishes. I do not pretend to make any merit of it. What you wished to obtain, I was impatient to grant; but I, in turn, now make a request; and what is that request? Only to see you a moment; to renew, to receive the assurance of eternal love. Is it not, then, any longer your happiness as well as mine? I reject this desponding idea, which is the summit of misery. You love me; yes, you will always love me. I believe it; I am sure of it; and I shall never doubt it: but my situation is dreadful, and I can no longer support it. Adieu, Cecilia!.
What happened to Valmont's active friendship? And what happened to the tender feelings that drove you to find ways for us to see each other every day? I remember that sometimes I had to set them aside for other responsibilities. What didn’t you say to me? How many excuses did you use to challenge my reasons? Please remember, my Cecilia, that my reasons always bowed to your wishes. I’m not trying to take any credit for it. What you wanted, I was eager to give you; but now I have a request too. What is that request? Just to see you for a moment; to reaffirm and receive the assurance of eternal love. Isn't it still our happiness? I refuse to accept this hopeless idea, which is the height of despair. You love me; yes, you will always love me. I believe it; I am sure of it; and I will never doubt it. But my situation is unbearable, and I can't take it anymore. Goodbye, Cecilia!
Sept. 18, 17—.
Sept. 18, 1717.
LETTER LXXXI.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the Valmont, the Viscount.
How your fears raise my compassion! How much they convince me of my superiority over you! So you want to teach me how to conduct myself! Ah, my poor Valmont! what a distance there is still between you and me! No; all the pride of your sex would not be sufficient to fill up the interval that is between us. Because you are not able to execute my schemes, you look upon them as impossible. It well becomes you, who are both proud and weak, to attempt to decide on my measures, and give your opinion of my resources. Upon my word, Viscount, your advice has put me out of temper. I cannot conceal it.
How your fears make me feel compassionate! They really highlight my superiority over you! So, you think you can teach me how to act? Oh, my poor Valmont! There’s still such a huge gap between us! No, all the pride of your gender wouldn’t be enough to bridge the distance that exists between us. Because you can’t carry out my plans, you see them as impossible. It’s quite fitting for you, being both proud and weak, to attempt to judge my strategies and evaluate my resources. Honestly, Viscount, your advice has annoyed me. I can’t hide it.
That to hide your incredible awkwardness with your Presidente, you should display as a triumph the having disconcerted for a moment this weak woman who loves you, I am not displeased. That you should have obtained from her a look, I smile, and pass over. That feeling, in spite of you, the insignificancy of your conduct, you should hope to deceive my attention, by flattering me with the sublime effort you have made to bring together two children, who are eager to see each other, and who, I will take upon me to say, are indebted to me only for this eagerness; that I will also pass over. That, lastly, you should plume yourself on those brilliant acts, to tell me in a magisterial tone, that it is better employ one’s time in executing their projects than in relating them; that vanity hurts me not; I forgive it. But that you should take upon you to imagine I stand in need of your prudence; I should go astray, if I did not pay a proper regard to your advice; that I ought to sacrifice a whim, or a pleasure, to it: upon my word, Viscount, that would be raising your pride too much for the confidence which I have condescended to place in you.
That to hide your awkwardness with your President, you should act like it's a win to have momentarily thrown off this fragile woman who loves you, I’m not upset. That you got her to look at you, I smile and move on. That you think, despite the ridiculousness of your behavior, you can distract me by praising the grand effort you made to bring together two kids who are eager to see each other, and who, I must say, only owe this eagerness to me; I’ll also overlook. That, finally, you should take pride in those impressive actions, telling me in a commanding way that it's better to spend one’s time executing projects than talking about them; that vanity doesn’t bother me; I forgive it. But that you think I need your wisdom; that I would go astray if I didn’t give proper weight to your advice; that I should give up a whim or a pleasure for it: honestly, Viscount, that would be inflating your pride beyond the trust I’ve chosen to place in you.
What have you then done, that I have not surpassed by a million of degrees? You have seduced, ruined several women: but what difficulties had you to encounter? What obstacles to surmount? Where is the merit that may be truly called yours? A handsome figure, the effect of mere chance; a gracefulness, which custom generally gives; some wit, it’s true, but which nonsense would upon occasion supply as well; a tolerable share of impudence, which is solely owing to the facility of your first successes. Those, I believe, are all your abilities, if I am not mistaken; for as to the celebrity which you have acquired, you will not insist, I presume, that I should set any great value on the art of publishing or seizing an opportunity of scandal.
What have you done that I haven't totally surpassed? You’ve seduced and ruined multiple women, but what challenges did you really face? What obstacles did you have to overcome? Where’s the actual merit that belongs to you? A good-looking appearance is just luck; charm comes from what everyone else does; you have some wit, sure, but nonsense could fill in just as easily; and a decent amount of boldness, which comes purely from your initial successes. Those, I think, are all your talents, if I'm not wrong; because as for the fame you’ve gained, I doubt you seriously expect me to value the skill of creating or taking advantage of scandal.
As to your prudence and cunning, I do not speak of myself, but where is the woman that has not more of it than you? Your very Presidente leads you like a babe.
As for your wisdom and cleverness, I'm not talking about myself, but where is the woman who has less of it than you? Even your President guides you like a child.
Believe me, Viscount, one seldom acquires the qualities one thinks unnecessary. As you engage without danger, you should act without precaution. As for you men, your defeats are only a success the less. In this unequal struggle, our good fortune is not to be losers; and your misfortune, not to be gainers. When I would even grant you equal talents with us, how much more must we surpass you by the necessity we are under of employing them continually?
Believe me, Viscount, people rarely gain the qualities they think they don't need. As you engage without fear, you should act without caution. As for you guys, your defeats simply mean you have one less success. In this uneven battle, our good fortune is that we aren't the ones losing; and your bad luck is that you aren’t gaining anything. Even if I were to grant you equal skills with us, how much more must we outshine you because we have to use those skills all the time?
Let us suppose, that you make use of as much address to overcome us, as we do to defend ourselves, or to surrender; you will, at least, agree with me, it becomes useless after you succeed. Entirely taken up with some new inclination, you give way to it without fear, without reserve; its duration is a matter of no consequence to you.
Let's say you use just as much skill to take advantage of us as we do to protect ourselves or to give in; you'll at least agree with me that it becomes pointless once you succeed. Fully caught up in a new desire, you pursue it fearlessly and without hesitation; how long it lasts doesn't matter to you.
And really those reciprocal attachments, given and received, to speak in the love cant, you alone have it in your power to keep or break. Happy yet do the women think themselves, when in your fickleness you prefer secrecy to scandal, or are satisfied with a mortifying abandonment, and that you do not make the idol of to-day the victim of to-morrow.
And honestly, those mutual connections, both given and received, to put it in romantic terms, only you have the ability to maintain or destroy. The women might feel happy, though, when in your unpredictability you choose to keep things secret instead of causing a scandal, or when you’re okay with a painful abandonment, and that you don't turn today’s idol into tomorrow’s victim.
But if an unfortunate woman should first feel the weight of her chains, what risks does she not run if she attempts to extricate herself from them, if she should dare to struggle against them? She trembling strives to put away the man her heart detests. If he persists, what was granted to love must be given to fear; her arms are open, while her heart is shut; her prudence should untie with dexterity those same bonds you would have broken. She is without resource, at the mercy of her enemy, if he is incapable of generosity, which is seldom to be met with in him; for if he is sometimes applauded for possessing it, he is never blamed for wanting it.
But if an unfortunate woman first feels the weight of her chains, what risks is she taking if she tries to free herself from them, if she dares to struggle against them? She, trembling, tries to push away the man her heart loathes. If he doesn't back off, what was given to love must now be offered to fear; her arms are open, but her heart is closed; her caution should carefully untie the same bonds that
You will not, doubtless, deny those self-evident propositions. If, however, you have seen me disposing of opinions and events; subjecting those formidable men to my whims and fancies; taking from the one the will, and from the other the power, of annoying me. If I have discovered the secret, according to my roving taste, to detach the one, and reject the other, those dethroned tyrants becoming my slaves; if in the midst of those frequent revolutions, my reputation has been still preserved unsullied; should you not from thence have concluded, that, born to revenge my sex and command yours, I found out means unknown to any that went before me.
You can’t possibly deny those obvious truths. However, if you’ve seen me managing opinions and events; making those powerful men subject to my whims and desires; taking away one’s will and the other’s power to bother me. If I have figured out the trick, based on my wandering taste, to separate the one and dismiss the other, those overthrown tyrants becoming my subordinates; if amidst those frequent upheavals, my reputation has still remained untarnished; shouldn’t you conclude from this that, destined to avenge my gender and control yours, I discovered methods unknown to anyone who came before me?
Ah, keep your advice and your fears for those infatuated women, who call themselves sentimental; whose exalted imaginations would make one believe, that Nature had placed their senses in their heads; who, having never reflected, blend incessantly the lover with love; who, possessed with that ridiculous illusion, believe that he alone with whom they have sought pleasure is the sole trustee of it, and, true to enthusiasm, have the same respect and faith for the priest that is due to the Divinity only.
Ah, keep your advice and your fears for those lovesick women who think of themselves as sentimental; whose heightened imaginations would make you think that Nature put their senses in their heads; who, never having thought deeply, constantly confuse the lover with love; who, caught up in that silly delusion, believe that the one they seek pleasure with is the only one who can provide it, and, out of blind enthusiasm, have the same respect and faith for the priest that should only be given to the Divine.
Reserve your fears for those who, more vain than prudent, do not know when to consent or break off.
Reserve your fears for those who are more concerned with appearances than wisdom, who don't know when to agree or when to walk away.
But tremble for those active, yet idle women, whom you call sentimental, on whom love so easily and powerfully takes possession; who feel the necessity of being taken up with it, even when they don’t enjoy it; and, giving themselves up without reserve to the fermentation of their ideas, bring forth those soft but dangerous letters, and do not dread confiding in the object that causes them these proofs of their weakness; imprudent creatures! who in their actual lover cannot see their future enemy.
But worry for those busy yet unproductive women, whom you call sentimental, who love sweeps over so easily and intensely; who feel they must be involved with it, even when they don’t actually enjoy it; and, fully surrendering to the whirlwind of their thoughts, create those tender but risky letters, and aren’t afraid to share them with the person who causes these signs of their vulnerability; foolish beings! who in their current partner can’t see their future foe.
But what have I to do in common with those inconsiderate women? When have you seen me depart from the rules I have laid down to myself, and abandon my own principles? I say, my own principles, and I speak it with energy, for they are not like those of other women, dealt out by chance, received without scrutiny, and followed through custom; they are the proofs of my profound reflections; I have given them existence, and I can call them my own work.
But what do I have in common with those reckless women? When have you seen me stray from the rules I’ve set for myself and abandon my own principles? I say, my own principles, and I say it with conviction, because they aren't like those of other women, picked up by chance, accepted without questioning, and followed just because it's tradition; they are the results of my deep thoughts; I’ve created them, and I can truly say they are my own work.
Introduced into the world whilst yet a girl, I was devoted by my situation to silence and inaction; this time I made use of for reflection and observation. Looked upon as thoughtless and heedless, paying little attention to the discourses that were held out to me, I carefully laid up those that were meant to be concealed from me.
Introduced into the world while I was still a girl, I was bound by my circumstances to silence and inaction; I used this time for reflection and observation. Considered thoughtless and careless, paying little attention to the conversations held around me, I carefully stored away the things that were meant to be hidden from me.
This useful curiosity served me in the double capacity of instruction and dissimulation. Being often obliged to hide the objects of my attention from the eyes of those who surrounded me, I endeavoured to guide my own at my will. I then learnt to take up at pleasure that dissipated air which you have so often praised. Encouraged by those first successes, I endeavoured to regulate in the same manner the different motions of my person. Did I feel any chagrin, I endeavoured to put on an air of serenity, and even an affected cheerfulness; carried my zeal so far, that I used to put myself to voluntary pain; and tried my temper, by seeming to express a satisfaction; laboured with the same care and trouble to repress the sudden tumult of unexpected joy. It is thus that I gained that ascendancy over my countenance which has so often astonished you.
This interesting skill helped me both learn and deceive. Often needing to conceal what I was focused on from those around me, I tried to control my own attention at will. I learned to pick up on that light-hearted demeanor you’ve praised so often. Motivated by those early wins, I worked on regulating my body’s movements in the same way. When I felt any disappointment, I tried to put on a calm face, even faking cheerfulness; I was so committed that I would put myself through discomfort and tested my patience by feigning contentment; I worked just as hard to suppress unexpected bursts of joy. That’s how I mastered the control over my expression that has so frequently amazed you.
I was yet very young and unconcerned, but still reflected. My thoughts were my own, and I was exasperated to have them either surprised or drawn from me against my will. Provided with such arms, I immediately began to try their utility. Not satisfied with the closeness of my character, I amused myself with assuming different ones. Confident of my actions, I studied my words; I regulated the one and the other according to circumstances, and sometimes according to whim. From that moment I became selfish; and no longer showed any desire, but what I thought useful to me.
I was still very young and carefree, but I still reflected on things. My thoughts were my own, and it frustrated me when they were either surprised out of me or pulled out against my will. Equipped with such tools, I immediately started to test their usefulness. Not satisfied with the closeness of my character, I entertained myself by trying on different personas. Confident in my actions, I carefully chose my words; I adjusted both according to the situation and sometimes just on a whim. From that moment on, I became selfish; I no longer showed any desire except for what I thought would benefit me.
This labour had so far fixed my attention on the characters of the physiognomy, and the expression of the countenance, that I acquired the penetrating glance, which experience, however, has taught me not to place an entire confidence in, but which has so seldom deceived me.
This work had really focused my attention on the features and expressions of people's faces, so I developed a keen eye. However, experience has taught me not to fully trust this ability, even though it has rarely let me down.
I had scarce attained my fifteenth year, when I was mistress of those talents to which the greatest part of our female politicians owe their reputation, and had only attained the first rudiments of the science I was so anxious to acquire.
I had barely turned fifteen when I became skilled in those talents that most of our female politicians attribute to their reputation, yet I had only just begun to learn the basics of the knowledge I was so eager to gain.
You may well imagine, that like all other young girls, I wanted to be acquainted with love and pleasure: but never having been in a convent, having no confidant, and being moreover strictly watched by a vigilant mother, I had only vague ideas. Nature even, which certainly I have had since every reason to be satisfied with, had not yet given me any indication. I may say, she silently wrought to perfect her work. My head alone fermented. I did not wish for enjoyment; I wanted knowledge: my strong propensity for instruction suggested the means.
You can probably guess that, like all other young girls, I wanted to experience love and pleasure. But since I had never been in a convent, had no one to confide in, and was closely monitored by a watchful mother, I only had vague ideas about it all. Even nature, which I’ve learned to be quite satisfying, hadn’t shown me any signs yet. I can say that she was quietly working to perfect her creation. My mind was the only thing full of thoughts. I didn’t crave enjoyment; I wanted knowledge. My strong desire for learning pointed the way.
I was sensible, the only man I could apply to on this occasion without danger was my confessor. As soon as I was determined, I got the better of my bashfulness. I accused myself of a fault I had not committed, and declared I had done all that women do. Those were the exact words: but when I spoke thus, I really had no idea of what I expressed. My expectations were neither entirely satisfied, nor altogether disappointed; the dread of discovering myself prevented my information: but the good father made the crime so heinous, that I concluded the pleasure must be excessive; and the desire of tasting it succeeded that of knowing it.
I was practical; the only person I could turn to in this situation without risk was my confessor. Once I made up my mind, I overcame my shyness. I confessed to a sin I hadn’t actually committed and said I had done everything women do. Those were the exact words: but when I said that, I really had no idea what I was talking about. My expectations were neither completely met nor fully unmet; my fear of revealing myself held me back from sharing more details. However, the good father made the sin seem so terrible that I figured the pleasure must be extraordinary, and my desire to experience it overtook my curiosity about it.
I don’t know how far this desire might have carried me; being then totally unexperienced, the first opportunity would have probably ruined me: but fortunately a few days after my mother informed me that I was to be married. Immediately the certainty of coming to the knowledge of every thing stifled my curiosity, and I came a virgin to Mr. de Merteuil’s arms.
I don’t know how far this desire might have taken me; being completely inexperienced, the first opportunity probably would have ruined me. But luckily, a few days later, my mother told me that I was going to get married. The certainty of learning everything immediately quieted my curiosity, and I came to Mr. de Merteuil as a virgin.
I waited with unconcern the period that was to resolve my doubts; and I had occasion for reflection, to assume a little fear and embarrassment. This first night, which generally fills the mind with so much joy or apprehension, offered me only an opportunity of experience, pleasure, and pain. I observed every thing with the utmost exactitude, and those different sensations furnished matter for reflection.
I waited without worry for the time that would clear up my doubts, and I found myself reflecting, feeling a bit of fear and embarrassment. This first night, which usually brings so much joy or anxiety, gave me just a mix of experiences, pleasure, and pain. I noticed everything with great attention, and those different feelings provided plenty to think about.
This kind of study soon began to be pleasing: but faithful to my principles, and knowing, as it were, by instinct, that no one ought to be less in my confidence than my husband, I determined, for no other reason than because I had my feeling, to appear to him impassible. This affected coldness laid the foundation for that blind confidence which he ever after placed in me: and in consequence of more reflection, I threw in an air of dissipation over my behaviour, to which my youth gave a sanction; and I never appeared more childish than when I praised him most profusely.
This kind of study soon became enjoyable; however, staying true to my principles, and instinctively knowing that my husband should be the one I trusted the most, I decided to act indifferent for no reason other than my own feelings. This feigned indifference created a blind trust he would always have in me. With more thought, I added a hint of recklessness to my behavior, which my youth supported, and I never seemed more immature than when I praised him the most.
Yet, I must own, at first I suffered myself to be hurried away by the bustle of the world, and gave myself up entirely to its most trifling dissipations. After a few months M. de Merteuil having brought me to his dreary country house, to avoid the dulness of a rural life, I again resumed my studies; and being surrounded by people whose inferiority sheltered me from suspicion, I gave myself a loose in order to improve my experience. It was then I was ascertained that love, which is represented as the first cause of all our pleasure, is at most but the pretence.
Yet, I have to admit, at first I let myself get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the world, completely giving in to its most trivial distractions. After a few months, M. de Merteuil took me to his dreary country house, and to escape the dullness of rural life, I picked up my studies again. Surrounded by people whose inferiority kept me out of suspicion, I allowed myself to indulge to gain experience. That was when I realized that love, which is said to be the main source of all our pleasure, is mostly just a facade.
M. de Merteuil’s sickness interrupted those pleasing occupations. I was obliged to accompany him to town, where he went for advice. He died a short time after, as you know; and though, to take all in all, I had no reason to complain of him, nevertheless I was very sensibly affected with the liberty my widowhood gave me, which had so pleasing a prospect.
M. de Merteuil’s illness interrupted those enjoyable activities. I had to go with him to the city, where he sought medical advice. He passed away shortly after, as you know; and although I had no reason to complain about him overall, I was definitely affected by the freedom my widowhood provided, which was such an appealing prospect.
My mother imagined that I would go into a convent, or would go back to live with her: I refused both one and the other: the only sacrifice I made to decency was to return to the country, where I had yet some observations to make.
My mom thought I would join a convent or move back in with her; I turned down both options. The only compromise I made for decency was going back to the countryside, where I still had some observations to gather.
I strengthened them by reading, but don’t imagine that it was all of that kind you suppose: I studied my morals in romances, my opinions amongst the philosophers, and even sought amongst our most severe moralists, what was required of us.—Thus I was ascertained of what one might do, how one ought to think, and the character one should assume. Thus fixed on those three objects, the last only offered some difficulties in the execution: I hoped to conquer them; I ruminated on the means.
I improved myself through reading, but don’t think it was just the kind you might expect: I learned about morals from novels, formed my opinions through philosophers, and even looked through the most hardline moralists to figure out what was expected of us. This way, I became clear on what one could do, how one should think, and the persona one should adopt. Among these three goals, the last one presented some challenges in trying to achieve it: I hoped to overcome them and contemplated the ways to do so.
I began to be disgusted with my rustic pleasures; they were not sufficiently variegated for my active mind, and felt the necessity of coquetry to reconcile me to love; not really to be sensible of it, but to feign it, and inspire it in others. In vain I have been told, and had read, that this passion was not to be feigned. I saw clearly, that to acquire it, it was sufficient to blend the spirit of an author with the talent of a comedian. I practised those two characters, and perhaps with some success; but, instead of courting the vain applause of the theatre, I determined to turn what so many others sacrificed to vanity, to my own happiness.
I started to feel repulsed by my simple pleasures; they weren’t exciting enough for my active mind, and I felt the need for some playful charm to make me enjoy love. Not to genuinely feel it, but to pretend and evoke it in others. Despite being told and having read that this passion couldn’t be faked, I realized that to achieve it, I just needed to mix the essence of a writer with the skill of a performer. I practiced those two roles, and maybe I had some success; but instead of chasing the shallow praise of the stage, I decided to turn what so many others sacrificed for vanity into my own happiness.
A year was spent in those different employments. My mourning being expired, I returned to town with my grand projects, but did not expect the first obstacle which fell in my way.
A year was spent in those different jobs. Once my mourning period was over, I came back to town with my big plans, but I didn't anticipate the first challenge that came my way.
The austere retreat and long solitude I had been accustomed to, had given me such an air of prudery as frightened our prettiest fellows, and left me a prey to a crowd of tiresome gallants, who all made pretensions to my person; the difficulty was, not to refuse them; but several of those refusals were not agreeable to my family: I lost in those domestic broils the time which I flattered myself to make so charming a use. I was obliged then to recall the one, and disperse the others, to be guilty of some frivolities, and to take the same pains to hurt my reputation that I had taken to preserve it. In this I easily succeeded, as you may very well imagine; but, not being swayed by any passion, I only did what I judged necessary, and dealt out prudently some little acts of volatility.
The strict isolation and long periods of solitude I was used to had given me such an air of aloofness that it scared off our best-looking guys, leaving me surrounded by a bunch of annoying suitors who all claimed interest in me. The challenge wasn't in saying no; it was that several of those refusals didn't sit well with my family. I wasted time in those family arguments that I had hoped to spend in more enjoyable ways. I then had to bring back one suitor and send away the others, indulge in some frivolous behaviors, and put in the same effort to damage my reputation that I had used to protect it. I managed to do this quite easily, as you can imagine; but without being influenced by strong feelings, I only did what I thought was necessary and carefully engaged in a few lighthearted actions.
As soon as I had accomplished my aim, I stopped short, gave the credit of my reformation to some women, who not having any pretensions to beauty or attractions, wrapt themselves up in merit and virtue. This resolution was of great importance, and turned out better than I could have expected; those grateful duennas became my apologists, and their blind zeal for what they called their own work, was carried to such a length, that upon the least conversation that was held about me, the whole prude party exclaimed shame and scandal! The same means acquired me also the good opinion of our women of talents, who, convinced that I did not pursue the same objects they did, chose me for the subject of their praise, whenever they asserted they did not scandalize every body.
As soon as I achieved my goal, I paused, attributing my transformation to a few women who, lacking traditional beauty or charm, focused on their own merit and virtue. This decision was really significant and turned out better than I expected; those grateful caretakers became my defenders, and their unwavering devotion to what they called their own achievements went so far that at the slightest mention of me, the entire group of prudes would cry out in outrage and disbelief! This tactic also earned me the approval of the more talented women, who, convinced that I wasn’t after the same things they were, chose me as a topic of praise whenever they insisted they didn’t gossip about everyone.
However, my former conduct brought back the lovers; to keep the balance even between them and my new female friends, I exhibited myself as a woman not averse to love, but difficult, and whom the excess of delicacy rendered superior to love.
However, my past behavior brought back my old lovers; to keep things balanced between them and my new female friends, I presented myself as a woman who was open to love but hard to get, and whose excessive delicacy made me seem above love.
Then I began to display upon the grand theatre the talents I had acquired: my first care was to acquire the name of invincible; in order to obtain it, the men who were not pleasing to me were the only ones whose addresses I seemed to accept. I employed them usefully in procuring me the honours of resistance, whilst I gave myself up without dread to the favoured lover; but my assumed timidity never permitted him to appear with me in public company, whose attention was always thus drawn off to the unfortunate lover.
Then I started showing off the skills I'd picked up on the big stage: my main goal was to gain the title of unbeatable; to achieve this, I only seemed to accept the company of men I didn't find appealing. I used them effectively to help me earn the respect for standing my ground, while I devoted myself, without fear, to the favored lover. But my feigned shyness meant he never appeared with me in public, which always shifted attention to the unfortunate lover instead.
You know how expeditious I am in my decisions; this proceeds from my observation, that it is always the preparatory steps which betray women’s secrets. Let one do what they will, the ton is never the same before as after success. This difference does not escape the attentive observer; and I have found it always less dangerous to be mistaken in my choice, than to suffer myself to be seen through; I moreover gain by this conduct, to remove probabilities on which only a judgment may be formed.
You know how quick I am to make decisions; this comes from my observation that it's always the initial steps that reveal women’s secrets. No matter what one tries to do, the vibe is never the same before and after success. This change doesn’t go unnoticed by a careful observer; and I’ve always found it’s less risky to be wrong in my choice than to let myself be figured out; plus, I benefit from this approach by eliminating assumptions that are based only on judgment.
Those precautions, and that of never corresponding, to give any proof of my defeat, may appear satisfactory; however, I never thought them sufficient. Examining my own heart, I studied that of others; then I found, there is no person whatever who has not a secret that it is important should not be revealed; an established truth of which antiquity seems to have been more sensible than we are, and of which, perhaps, the history of Samson may have been an ingenious emblem. Like another Dalilah, I always employed my power in discovering this important secret. Ah! how many of our modern Samsons do I not hold by the hair under my scissars! Those I have no dread of; they are the only ones that I sometimes take a pleasure in mortifying. More pliant with others, I endeavour to render them fickle, to avoid appearing inconstant myself. A feigned friendship, an apparent confidence, some generous dealings, the flattering idea that each was possessed with, of being my only lover, has secured discretion; in short, when all those means have failed, I have known how to stifle beforehand, (foreseeing my rapture), under the cloak of ridicule and calumny, the credit those dangerous men might obtain.
Those precautions, including never communicating to prove my defeat, may seem adequate; however, I never considered them enough. By examining my own heart, I reflected on others; I realized that everyone has a secret that should remain hidden. This is a truth that ancient times understood better than we do, perhaps illustrated by the story of Samson. Like another Delilah, I always used my power to uncover this vital secret. Ah! How many modern Samsons do I hold by the hair under my scissors! I'm not afraid of them; they are the ones I sometimes take pleasure in embarrassing. With others, I try to make them unpredictable to avoid seeming inconsistent myself. A feigned friendship, a fake trust, some generous actions, and the flattering notion that each of them felt like they were my only lover have ensured their discretion. In short, when all those strategies have failed, I've known how to silence them ahead of time (anticipating my excitement), under the guise of ridicule and slander, preventing those dangerous men from gaining any influence.
What I now tell you, you have often seen me put in practice; and yet you call my prudence in question! Don’t you recollect, when you first began your courtship to me? I never was more flattered; I sighed for you before I saw you. Captivated by your reputation, you seemed to be wanting to my glory; I burned with the desire of encountering you face to face; it was the only one of my inclinations that ever took a moment’s ascendancy over me; yet, had you been inclined to ruin me, what means had you in your power? Idle conversations that leave no traces after them, that your reputation even would have rendered suspicious, and a set of facts without probability, the sincere recital of which would have had the appearance of a romance badly assimilated. It is true, you have since been in possession of all my secrets; but you are sensible how our interests are united, and which of us two ought to be taxed with imprudence.[1]
What I'm about to tell you, you've seen me do many times before; and yet you question my judgment! Don’t you remember when you first started pursuing me? I was never more flattered; I longed for you even before I met you. Captivated by your reputation, you seemed essential to my happiness; I was eager to meet you in person; it was the only time I ever felt strongly about something like that. But if you had wanted to ruin me, what could you have done? Just pointless conversations that would leave no aftermath, ones that even your reputation would make suspicious, and a few unlikely events that, if told honestly, would sound like a poorly written story. It’s true that you’ve since learned all my secrets; but you know how our interests are linked, and which one of us should actually be considered reckless.[1]
Since I am in the humour of giving you an account of myself, I will do it with the utmost exactitude.—I think I hear you say I’m at least at the mercy of my chambermaid! Truly, if she is not in the secret of my sentiments, she is at least in that of my actions. When you spoke to me on this subject formerly, I only answered you, I was sure of her; the proof this answer was then sufficient to make you easy, is, you have since confided in her, and for your own account; but now Prevan gives you umbrage, that your head is turned, I doubt much you’ll not take my word: you must, then, be edified.
Since I’m in the mood to share more about myself, I’ll do it with complete honesty. I can almost hear you saying I’m at the mercy of my maid! Honestly, if she doesn’t know my feelings, she definitely knows about my actions. When we talked about this before, I simply told you that I trusted her; the fact that my assurance was enough to put your mind at ease is clear since you’ve confided in her yourself. But now with Prevan bothering you and your head all mixed up, I doubt you’ll take my word for it. So, you’ll just have to be enlightened.
First, this girl is my foster-sister; this tie, which appears nothing to us, has a great influence with people of her condition: moreover, I am in possession of her secrets; she is the victim of a love intrigue, and would have been ruined if I had not saved her. Her parents, armed at all points with sentiments of honour, wanted to have her shut up: they applied to me about it; I instantly saw how useful their resentment might be to me, and seconded their intentions; solicited the order from court, which I obtained; then suddenly, preferring clemency, brought her parents round, employing my credit with the old minister of state, and prevailed on them to depute me the trustee in this business, to stop or demand the execution of it, according as I should think the behaviour of the girl would deserve. She knows, then, her fate rests in my hands; and if, which is impossible, those powerful motives would not prevent, is it not evident, that her conduct being laid open, and her punishment authenticated, it would soon wipe away all credit to her tale?
First, this girl is my foster sister; this bond, which seems insignificant to us, holds a lot of weight with people in her situation. Plus, I know her secrets; she’s caught up in a love affair and would have been ruined if I hadn’t intervened. Her parents, driven by a strong sense of honor, wanted to have her locked away. They came to me for help; I quickly realized how useful their anger could be for me, and I supported their plans. I requested a court order, which I got. Then suddenly, choosing to show mercy, I convinced her parents to see things differently, using my influence with the old minister of state. I managed to get them to trust me as the person overseeing this matter, able to stop or demand action based on how I thought the girl would behave. She knows her future is in my hands, and if, which is unlikely, those strong reasons didn’t stop her, isn’t it clear that if her behavior is exposed and her punishment confirmed, it would quickly ruin her credibility?
Add to all these precautions, which I call fundamental ones, a thousand others, either local or eventual, that reflection and habitude would produce, if needful, the detail of which would be too minute, but the practice very important, and which you must take the trouble to collect in the whole of my conduct, if you want to arrive at the knowledge of them.
Add to all these precautions, which I consider essential, countless others, either specific or potential, that thought and experience would generate, if necessary. The specifics would be too detailed, but the practice is very important. You’ll need to make the effort to gather these from my entire behavior if you want to truly understand them.
But to pretend that I, who have taken so much pains, should not receive any benefit, after having raised myself so much above other women by my assiduous labours;—that I should consent to creep, like them, between imprudence and timidity; but, above all, I should dread a man so far as to find my salvation only in flight. No, Viscount; I must conquer or perish. As to Prevan, I must and will have him. He will tell, you say: but he shall not tell. This, in a few words, is our romance.
But to act like I, who have worked so hard, shouldn't gain any advantage after elevating myself above other women through my constant efforts— that I should agree to hide away like them, caught between recklessness and fear; but most of all, that I should be so afraid of a man that my only escape is running away. No, Viscount; I must win or be defeated. As for Prevan, I will have him, no matter what. You say he will talk? Well, he won't. This, in short, is our story.
Sept. 20, 17—.
Sept. 20, 1717.
[1] Hereafter will be seen, in the 152d Letter, not Mr. de Valmont’s secret, but pretty nearly of what kind it was; and the reader will perceive, that we could throw no more light on that subject.
[1] In the 152d Letter, you will find not Mr. de Valmont's secret, but almost the essence of what it was; and the reader will see that we couldn't shed any more light on that topic.
LETTER LXXXII.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
Cecilia Volanges to the Chevalier Danceny.
My God! what trouble your letter gives me! I had great reason, to be sure, to be impatient to receive it. I expected to have received some consolation, and am now more afflicted than ever. I could not help crying when I read it. But that is not what I reproach you with; for I have often cried already upon your account, without giving me so much trouble: but now the case is altered.
My God! Your letter has caused me so much trouble! I had every reason to be eager to receive it. I expected some comfort, but I'm now more upset than ever. I couldn't help but cry when I read it. But that's not what I'm upset with you about; I've often cried over you before without it being such a burden. But now things have changed.
What is it, then, you mean to say? That your love is now a torment to you; that you can’t live any longer thus, nor bear to be so circumstanced? What! will you cease loving me, because it is not quite so easy to see me as formerly? Don’t think I am happier than you; on the contrary: but I love you the more notwithstanding. If Mr. de Valmont has not wrote to you, it is not my fault. I could not prevail on him; because I have never been alone with him; we have agreed never to speak to one another before company; and all upon your account, that he may the sooner do what you would have him. I don’t say, but what I wish it as well as you; and you ought to be very sure of it: but what would you have me do? If you think it is so easy, find out the way; it is what I wish for as much as you do.
What are you trying to say? That your love has become a burden to you; that you can't continue like this or handle the situation? Seriously? Will you stop loving me because it's not as easy to see me as it used to be? Don't assume I'm happier than you; in fact, I'm not—but I love you even more despite that. If Mr. de Valmont hasn't written to you, that's not my fault. I couldn't get him to do it because I've never been alone with him; we've both agreed never to speak directly in front of others—all for your sake, so he will act on your wishes sooner. I'm not saying I don't want that as much as you do; you should definitely be assured of that. But what do you want me to do? If you think it's so simple, figure it out; I want that just as much as you do.
Do you think it so pleasing to be scolded every day by mamma? She who before never said any thing to me, now it is worse than if I was in a convent. I used to be consoled thinking it was for you; even sometimes, I was very glad of it. Now I perceive you are vexed without my giving any occasion for it. I am more melancholy than for any thing that has happened till now.
Do you really think it's nice to be yelled at by mom every day? She who never used to say anything to me now makes me feel worse than if I were in a convent. I used to find comfort in thinking it was for your sake; sometimes, I was even glad about it. Now I can see you're upset, even though I haven't done anything to cause it. I'm feeling more down than I have about anything else that's happened so far.
Nothing can be more difficult than to receive your letters; so that if Mr. de Valmont was not so complaisant and dexterous as he is, I should not know what to do; and it is still more difficult to write to you. In the morning I dare not, because my mamma is always near me, and comes every moment into my chamber. Sometimes I can do it in the afternoon, under pretence of singing or playing on the harp. I must stop at the end of every line, that they may hear me play. Fortunately my chambermaid falls asleep sometimes at night, and I tell her I can go to bed very well alone; that she may go, and leave me the candle; I am sometimes obliged to hide behind the curtain, that no one may see the light, and listen; for, on the least noise, I hide every thing in my bed, lest any one should come. I wish you were only here to see: you would be convinced one must have a great affection to do all this. In short, you may depend I do every thing in my power.
Nothing is harder than receiving your letters; if Mr. de Valmont weren't so helpful and skilled, I wouldn't know what to do. It's even more challenging to write to you. In the morning, I can't because my mom is always around and frequently comes into my room. Sometimes I manage to write in the afternoon, pretending to sing or play the harp. I have to pause at the end of each line so they can hear me play. Thankfully, my maid occasionally falls asleep at night, and I tell her I can go to bed just fine on my own; I ask her to leave the candle and go. Sometimes I have to hide behind the curtain so no one sees the light, and I listen carefully; at the slightest noise, I hide everything in my bed, just in case someone comes in. I wish you could see this; you'd realize how much affection it takes to do all this. In short, you can count on me to do everything I can.
I can’t help telling you I love you, and will always love you. I never told you so with more sincerity, yet you are angry. You assure me, however, before I told you so, that it would be enough to make you happy; you can’t deny it, for it is in your letters: although I have them no longer, I remember it as well as when I used to read them every day; and because we are now absent, you have altered your mind; but this absence will not last for ever, perhaps. Good God! how unhappy I am; and you are the cause of it all.
I can't help but tell you that I love you and always will. I’ve never said it more sincerely, yet you're upset. But you assured me, before I said it, that it would be enough to make you happy; you can't deny it, because it's in your letters: even though I don’t have them anymore, I remember it just as clearly as when I read them every day. And now that we’re apart, you’ve changed your mind; but this separation won’t last forever, maybe. Oh my God! How unhappy I am, and you are the reason for it all.
Now I think of it, about your letters; I hope you have kept all those that mamma took from me, and that she sent you back. Surely the time will come, when I shan’t be so closely watched as I am at present, and you will give them to me again. How happy shall I be, when I can keep them always, without any one prying into them.—Now, I return them back to Mr. de Valmont, as it would otherwise be running too great a risk, and yet I never return any but it gives me a great deal of trouble.
Now that I think about it, regarding your letters; I hope you kept all the ones that Mom took from me and sent back to you. Surely, the day will come when I won't be under such close supervision as I am now, and you can give them back to me. I’ll be so happy when I can keep them forever, without anyone snooping through them. Right now, I'm returning them to Mr. de Valmont because it would be too risky otherwise, but I always feel really troubled whenever I return them.
Adieu, my dear friend! I love you with all my heart, and I will love you all my life. I hope now you will not be vexed any more; if I was sure of it, I would not be so myself. Write to me as soon as you can, for I find that until then I shall be always uneasy.
Goodbye, my dear friend! I love you with all my heart, and I will love you for the rest of my life. I hope you're not upset anymore; if I was sure of it, I wouldn't be feeling this way myself. Please write to me as soon as you can, because I find that until then I will always be anxious.
From the Castle of ——, Sept. 21, 17—.
From the Castle of ——, Sept. 21, 17—.
LETTER LXXXIII.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT, to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
Valmont, to the President De Tourvel.
For heaven’s sake, Madam, let us renew the conversation so unfortunately interrupted, that I may convince you how different I am from the odious picture that has been drawn of me, and may, at least, enjoy that amiable confidence you placed in me. How many charms do you not add to virtue! How you embellish and make us cherish virtuous sentiments! It is there you are truly enchanting; that is the strongest of all seductions; it is the only one which is truly respectable and powerful.
For heaven's sake, Madam, let’s pick up our conversation that was so unfortunately cut short, so I can show you how different I am from the terrible image painted of me, and at least regain the kind trust you once had in me. How many attractive qualities you add to virtue! How you enhance and make us appreciate virtuous feelings! That’s where you’re truly captivating; that’s the strongest of all temptations; it’s the only one that is genuinely respectable and powerful.
It is enough to see you, to wish to please you; and to converse with you, to augment this wish: but he that has the happiness to know you, who can sometimes read your mind, soon gives way to a more noble enthusiasm, and, struck with veneration as with love—in your person adores the image of all the virtues. Formed, perhaps, more than any other, to cherish and admire them, but led away by some errors that had fatally drawn me from virtue, it is you have brought me back, who have again made me feel all its charms. Would you impute, then, to criminality this new affection? Will you blame your own work? Would you reproach yourself the interest you ought to take in it?—How can you dread so virtuous a sentiment, and what happiness can be greater than to experience it?
It's enough to see you to want to please you; and talking to you only increases that desire: but someone who has the joy of knowing you, who can sometimes understand your thoughts, quickly experiences a deeper enthusiasm and, filled with respect as well as love—in you, worships the embodiment of all virtues. Made, perhaps, more than anyone else, to cherish and admire them, but led astray by some mistakes that had sadly pulled me away from virtue, it is you who have brought me back, who have made me feel its beauty again. Would you then consider this new affection a wrongdoing? Would you blame your own influence? Would you resent the concern you should have for it?—How can you fear such a virtuous feeling, and what greater happiness could there be than to experience it?
My affection frightens you. You think it too violent, too immoderate; qualify it, then, by a softer passion. Do not reject the obedience I offer you, which I now swear never to withdraw myself from, and in which I shall be ever virtuously employed. What sacrifice would be painful when your heart could dispense the reward? Where is the man so unthinking as not to know how to enjoy the privations he imposes on himself; who would not prefer a word or a look which should be granted him, to all the enjoyments he could steal or surprise? And yet you have believed me to be such a man, and have dreaded me. Ah! why is not your happiness dependent on me? How pleasingly should I be avenged in making you happy! But the influence of barren friendship will not produce it; it is love alone can realize it.
My feelings scare you. You think they’re too intense, too extreme; if that’s the case, then express them with a gentler passion. Don’t turn away from the loyalty I offer you, which I promise to never take back, and in which I’ll always be devoted. What sacrifice would feel painful when your heart could provide the reward? Is there any person so oblivious that they don’t know how to appreciate the sacrifices they choose to make? Who wouldn’t prefer a kind word or a glance given freely over all the pleasures they could sneak or steal? And yet you’ve seen me as that kind of person, and you’ve feared me. Oh! Why isn’t your happiness tied to me? It would be so satisfying for me to make you happy! But the empty bond of friendship won’t create that; only love can make it happen.
This word alarms you; and, pray, why? A tender attachment, a stronger union, congenial thoughts, the same happiness as the same sorrows; what is there in this that is foreign to you? Yet such is love; such is, at least, the passion you have inspired, and which I feel. It is it that calculates without interest, and rates the actions according to their merit, and not their value, the inexhaustible treasure of sensitive souls; every thing becomes precious formed for it or by it.
This word worries you; and, I ask, why? A close connection, a deeper bond, shared thoughts, the same joy and the same pain; what’s so unfamiliar about this to you? Yet this is love; this is, at least, the passion you've stirred in me, and which I feel. It measures things without selfish motives and evaluates actions based on their worth, not their value, the endless treasure of sensitive souls; everything becomes valuable when created for it or by it.
Those striking truths, so easy to put in practice, what have they in them frightful? What fears can a man of sensibility occasion you, to whom love will never permit any other happiness than yours. It is now the only vow I make. I would sacrifice every thing to fulfil it, except the sentiment it inspires, which, if you even consent to admit, you shall regulate at will. But let us not suffer it to part us, when it ought to reunite us, if the friendship you have offered me is not a futile word. If, as you told me yesterday, it is the softest sentiment your soul is capable of, let it stipulate between us; I shall not challenge its decree: but in erecting it the judge of love, let it, at least, consent to hear its defence. To refuse to admit it would be unjust, which is not the characteristic of friendship.
Those striking truths, so easy to practice, what’s frightening about them? What fears could a sensitive person cause you, when love only allows for your happiness? That’s the only promise I make now. I would give up everything to keep it, except for the feeling it inspires, which, if you’re willing to accept it, you can manage however you like. But let’s not allow it to separate us when it should bring us together, if the friendship you've offered me isn’t just empty words. If, as you said yesterday, it’s the deepest feeling your soul can have, let it be the agreement between us; I won’t contest its ruling. But if we’re going to make it the judge of love, at least let it hear its defense. To refuse to acknowledge it would be unfair, which isn’t what friendship is about.
A second conversation will not be attended with more inconvenience than the first; chance may furnish the opportunity; you might even appoint the time. I will readily believe I am wrong: but would you not rather recall me by reason, than to combat my opinion? And do you doubt my docility? If I had not been interrupted, perhaps I had already been brought over to your opinion; for your power over me knows no bounds.
A second conversation won't be any more inconvenient than the first; chance might provide the opportunity; you could even set the time. I’ll readily accept that I might be wrong: but wouldn’t you prefer to change my mind through reason rather than argue against my opinion? Do you doubt my willingness to listen? If I hadn’t been interrupted, I might have already been convinced by your viewpoint; your influence over me is limitless.
I will acknowledge, that this invincible power to which I have surrendered, without daring to examine the irresistible charm that gives you the ascendancy over my thoughts and actions, often alarms me; and, perhaps, this conversation that I now solicit may be formidable to me. Perhaps, after being bound down by my promises, I shall see myself reduced to consume with a flame which I well feel can never be extinguished, without even daring to implore your assistance. Ah! for heaven’s sake, Madam, do not abuse your power over me: but if it will make you happier, if I shall appear more worthy of you, how much will my pains be softened by those consoling ideas! Yes, I feel it. Again to converse with you, is furnishing you with stronger arms against me: it is submitting myself entirely to your will. It is easier to make a defence against your letters; it is true, they are your sentiments: but you are not present to give them their full force; yet the pleasure of hearing you induces me to defy the danger; at least, I shall have the happiness of thinking I have done every thing for you even against myself, and my sacrifices will become a homage; too happy, in being able to convince you in a thousand shapes, as I feel it, in a thousand ways, that without self-exception, you are, and always will be, the dearest object of my heart.
I acknowledge that this overwhelming power I've surrendered to, without daring to question the irresistible charm you have over my thoughts and actions, often scares me; and maybe this conversation I'm now requesting might be daunting for me. Perhaps, after being bound by my promises, I’ll find myself consumed by a fire I know can never be extinguished, without even daring to ask for your help. Ah! For heaven’s sake, Madam, please don’t misuse your power over me: but if it will make you happier, if it means I’ll seem more worthy of you, how much easier my suffering would be with those comforting thoughts! Yes, I can feel it. Talking to you again only gives you more power over me: it’s completely submitting myself to your will. Defending myself against your letters is easier; it’s true they express your feelings: but you aren’t here to give them their full impact; yet the joy of hearing you makes me brave the danger; at least, I’ll have the happiness of knowing I’ve done everything for you, even against my own interests, and my sacrifices will become a tribute; too happy, in being able to show you in countless ways that, without exception, you are, and always will be, the most cherished person in my heart.
Sept. 23, 17—.
Sept. 23, 17—.
LETTER LXXXIV.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to CECILIA VOLANGES.
Viscount de Valmont to Cecilia Volanges.
You saw how we were disappointed yesterday. I could not find an opportunity to deliver you the letter I had the whole day; and I don’t know whether I shall be more successful this day. I am afraid of hurting you by my over zeal; and should never forgive myself, if by my imprudence you should suffer; that would make my friend distracted, and you miserable. Yet I am not insensible to a lover’s impatience. I feel how painful it is in your situation to experience delay in the only consolation you are capable of receiving at this time. By dint of thinking on means to remove obstacles, I have found one that will be pretty easy if you will but give your assistance.
You saw how disappointed we were yesterday. I couldn't find a chance to give you the letter I had all day, and I don’t know if I’ll have any luck today. I'm worried that my eagerness will hurt you, and I could never forgive myself if my carelessness caused you pain; that would drive my friend crazy and make you unhappy. Still, I understand a lover’s impatience. I know how hard it must be for you to face this waiting when you can only find comfort in what I can give you right now. After thinking about how to remove these obstacles, I've come up with a solution that should be pretty simple if you're willing to help.
I think I remarked, the key of your chamber door, that opens into the gallery, hangs always upon your mamma’s chimney-piece. Every thing would become easy, if we were once in possession of that key; but if it is not practicable, I can procure another exactly similar, which will answer the purpose: it will be sufficient I should have the key for an hour or two. You can easily find an opportunity of taking it; and that it may not be missed, you have one belonging to me, which resembles it pretty much, and the difference won’t be perceived unless it is tried, which I don’t think will be attempted. You must only take care to tie a blue ribband to it, like the one that is to your own.
I believe I mentioned that the key to your room, which opens into the gallery, is always on your mom’s mantelpiece. Everything would be straightforward if we had that key; but if that's not possible, I can get another one that's exactly the same, which will work just as well: I just need the key for an hour or two. You can easily find a chance to grab it; and so it won't be noticed, you have one of mine that looks quite similar, and the difference won’t be spotted unless someone tries it, which I doubt anyone will. Just make sure to tie a blue ribbon on it, like the one on yours.
You must endeavour to get this key to-morrow or the next day at breakfast, because it will be then easier to give it me, and it may be put in its place again in the evening, which would be the time your mamma might take notice of it. I can return it to you at dinner, if we act properly.
You need to try to get this key tomorrow or the next day at breakfast, because it will be easier to give it to me then, and it can be put back in its place by evening, which is when your mom might notice it. I can return it to you at dinner, if we handle this right.
You know, when we go from the saloon to the dining room, Madame de Rosemonde always comes last; I will give her my hand; and all you have to do will be to quit your tapestry frame slowly, or let something fall, so that you make stay a little behind; then you will be able to take the key, which I will hold behind me: but you must not neglect, as soon as you have taken it, to join my old aunt; and make her some compliments. If you should accidentally let the key fall, don’t be disconcerted; I will pretend it is myself, and I’ll answer for all.
You know, when we move from the saloon to the dining room, Madame de Rosemonde always comes last; I’ll offer her my hand; and all you have to do is slowly stop working on your tapestry or drop something, so you can hang back a bit. That way, you’ll be able to grab the key that I’ll keep hidden behind me. But you mustn’t forget, as soon as you have it, to catch up with my old aunt and give her some compliments. If you happen to drop the key, don’t worry; I’ll cover for you and take the blame.
The small confidence your mamma shows you, and the moroseness of her behaviour, authorises this little deceit: but it is, moreover, the only means to continue to receive Danceny’s letters, and to send him yours. Every other is too dangerous, and might irretrievably ruin you both; and my prudent friendship would reproach me for ever, if I was to attempt any other.
The little bit of confidence your mom shows you, along with her sulky behavior, justifies this small trick. But it’s also the only way to keep getting Danceny’s letters and to send him yours. Every other option is too risky and could completely ruin you both; my careful friendship would never forgive me if I tried anything else.
When I am once master of the key, there will be still some other precautions to be taken against the noise the door and lock may make, but them are easily removed. You will find, under the same clothes-press where I left your paper some oil and a feather. You sometimes go into your room alone, and you must take that opportunity to oil the lock and the hinges; the only thing you have to take care of is, that no drops may fall on the floor, which might discover you. You must also take care to wait till night comes, because if you manage this business dexterously, as I know you are capable of, nothing will appear in the morning.
When I have the key, I'll need to take a few other precautions to dampen the noise from the door and lock, but those are easy to manage. You'll find some oil and a feather under the same clothes-press where I left your paper. You sometimes go into your room alone, so you should use that chance to oil the lock and the hinges. Just make sure no oil drips on the floor, or it might give you away. Also, wait until night, because if you handle this carefully, as I know you can, nothing will be visible in the morning.
If, however, any thing should be perceived, don’t hesitate to say it was the servant that rubs the furniture; in that case, perhaps, it would be necessary to tell the time and the conversation that passed: as, that he takes this precaution against rust for all the locks that are not constantly used; for you must be sensible it would not be very probable that you should be a witness of it without asking the reason. Those are little details that aid probability, and probability makes lies of no consequence; as it takes away all curiosity to verify them.
If you notice anything, don’t hold back from saying it was the servant who polished the furniture; in that case, it might be necessary to mention the time and the conversation that happened: like that he takes this precaution against rust for all the locks that aren’t used all the time; because you have to understand it wouldn’t be very likely for you to see it without asking why. Those are small details that help make it believable, and believability makes lies seem harmless; it removes all the curiosity to check if they’re true.
After you have read this letter once, I beg you to read it again, and imprint it well in your memory; for first one must understand well what one has to do, and then, again, that you should be certain I have omitted nothing. As I am little used to employ artifice or cunning for my own occasion, nothing but the strong friendship that I have for Danceny, and my compassion for you, could determine me to make use of those innocent methods. I hate every thing that has the appearance of deceit; that is my character: but your misfortunes so sensibly affect me, I would attempt everything to soften them.
After you read this letter once, I ask you to read it again and remember it well; first, you need to understand clearly what you have to do, and second, you should be sure that I haven't left anything out. I'm not used to being tricky or deceptive for my own sake, so only the deep friendship I have for Danceny and my concern for you made me resort to these innocent methods. I dislike anything that seems deceitful; that's just who I am. But your troubles affect me deeply, and I would do anything to ease them.
You may believe, when once this communication is established between us, it will be much easier for me to procure you a meeting with Danceny, which he has so much at heart; but yet don’t mention all this to him, as it would only increase his impatience, and the time is not entirely come to satisfy it. You ought rather, I think, to calm than to irritate it; but that I leave to your own delicacy. Adieu, my pretty pupil; for now you are my pupil. Love your tutor a little: but, above all, be very tractable, and you will find the benefit of it. I am employed in endeavouring to make you happy; which, I promise you, will add much to my own.
You might think that once we establish communication, it will be easier for me to arrange a meeting for you with Danceny, which he desires so much. However, don't mention this to him, as it would only make him more impatient, and the time isn't right yet to fulfill that. You should focus on calming his feelings rather than stirring them up; but I’ll leave that to your judgment. Goodbye, my lovely student; for now, you are my student. Show a little affection for your tutor: but above all, be very agreeable, and you'll see the benefits. I'm working to make you happy, which, trust me, will also make me happy.
Sept. 24, 17—.
Sept. 24, 1717—.
LETTER LXXXV.
MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
At length you will be satisfied, and do me justice; no longer blend me with the rest of womankind: I have at last put an end to my adventure with Prevan, and you shall judge which of the two has a right to boast The recital will not be so amusing as the action; neither would it be just, whilst you have done nothing but argue well or ill on this matter, you should enjoy as much pleasure as me, who employed my time and care in this business.
At last, you will be satisfied and give me my due; stop mixing me up with other women: I have finally ended my situation with Prevan, and you can decide who has the right to brag. The story won’t be as entertaining as what actually happened; it wouldn’t be fair for you to get as much enjoyment from it as I do, considering all I invested in this.
But if you have any great affair in hand, any enterprise wherein this dangerous rival is your competitor, return; he has left you a clear stage, at least for some time; and perhaps will never recover the blow I have given him.
But if you have any important matter to deal with, any project where this dangerous rival is your competition, come back; he has left you a clear field, at least for a while; and he might never bounce back from the hit I have given him.
What a happy man you are, to have me for a friend! I am your good genius. You languish in absence from the beauty that possesses your heart; I speak the word, and instantly you are with her: you wish to be revenged of a mischievous woman: I point out the place where you are to strike, and deliver her up to you: again, to set aside a formidable competitor, you still invoke me, and I grant your petition. Upon my word, if you don’t employ the remainder of your days in demonstrating your gratitude, you are a base man: but to return to my adventure, and its origin. The rendezvous given out so loud at coming out of the opera[1] was heard, as I expected. Prevan was there, and when the Marechale told him obligingly, that she was happy to see him, twice running, on her public day, he took care to reply, that since Tuesday he had got rid of a thousand appointments, to have it in his power to wait upon her this evening; a word to the wise: however, as I was determined to be certain whether or not I was the true object of this flattering eagerness, I was determined to oblige my new admirer, to make a choice between me and his reigning passion. I declared I would not play, and he made a thousand pretences not to play: thus my first triumph was over Lansquenet.
What a lucky guy you are to have me as your friend! I’m your good luck charm. You’re longing for the beauty who has your heart; I say the words, and suddenly you’re with her: you want revenge on a tricky woman; I show you exactly where to strike and hand her over to you: again, to get rid of a tough competitor, you call on me, and I fulfill your request. Honestly, if you don’t spend the rest of your days showing your gratitude, you're a terrible person. But back to my story and how it started. The meeting announced so loudly after the opera[1] was exactly as I expected. Prevan was there, and when the Marechale kindly told him she was happy to see him, twice in a row, on her public day, he made sure to say that since Tuesday he had cleared a thousand appointments to be able to be with her that evening; a word to the wise: however, since I wanted to find out if I was really the one he was eager to see, I decided to put my new admirer to the test, forcing him to choose between me and his current obsession. I said I wouldn’t play, and he came up with a thousand excuses not to play either: so my first victory was over Lansquenet.
I engrossed the bishop of —— for my conversation; chose him on account of his relationship with the hero of the adventure, for whom I wished to smooth the way to make his approaches: was, moreover, glad to have a respectable witness, who could upon occasion answer for my conduct and conversation: this arrangement succeeded.
I caught the attention of the bishop of —— for our chat; I chose him because of his connection to the hero of the adventure, for whom I wanted to pave the way for his attempts: I was also glad to have a respected witness who could vouch for my behavior and what I said if needed: this plan worked out well.
After the customary vague chat, Prevan having soon made himself master of the conversation, engaged, upon different subjects, to endeavour to find out that which was most agreeable to me. The sentimental I rejected, as not worthy of credit. I stopped, by my serious air, his gaiety, which seemed too volatile for an opening: then he returned to delicate friendship; and this was the subject that engaged us.
After the usual small talk, Prevan quickly took charge of the conversation and tried to figure out what I found most agreeable on various topics. I dismissed the sentimental stuff as not credible. My serious demeanor put a stop to his light-heartedness, which felt too superficial for a starting point. He then shifted to talking about close friendship, and that became the subject we focused on.
The bishop did not come down to supper; Prevan gave me his hand, and consequently placed himself at table by me: I must be just; he kept up our private conversation with great address, as if he was only taken up with the general conversation, to which he seemed all attention. At the dessert, a new piece was mentioned that was to be played the Monday following at the French Comedy.—I expressed some regret at not being provided with a box; he offered me his, which I refused, as usual: to which he replied, with great good humour, that I did not understand him, for, certainly, he would not offer his lodge to a person he did not know; he only meant to inform me that Madame la Marechale had the disposal of it; she acquiesced to this piece of humour, and I accepted the invitation. Being returned to the saloon, he begged, as you may suppose, a seat in this box; and as the Marechale, who treats him very familiarly, promised it to him if he behaved himself well, he took the opportunity of one of those double entendre conversations, for which you so profusely praise him, and throwing himself at her knees as a naughty child, under pretence of begging her advice and opinion, he said a great many tender and flattering things, which it was easy for me to apply to myself. Many of the company not having returned to play after supper, the conversation became more general and less interesting, but our eyes spoke a great deal—I should say his, for mine had one language only, that of surprise; he must have imagined that I was astonished, and amazingly taken up with the prodigious impression he had made on me. I believe I left him pretty well satisfied; and I was no less contented myself.
The bishop didn't join us for dinner; Prevan took my hand and sat down next to me. I have to say, he skillfully kept our private conversation going as if he was fully engaged in the general discussion around us. During dessert, someone mentioned a new play that was set to be performed the following Monday at the French Comedy. I mentioned feeling a bit disappointed that I didn't have a box for it; he offered me his, but I refused, as I usually do. He responded with good humor, saying I didn't understand him—he certainly wouldn't offer his box to someone he didn't know; he just wanted to let me know that Madame la Marechale had control over it. She went along with his playful tone, and I accepted his invite. Once we returned to the salon, he, as expected, asked for a seat in that box; and since the Marechale, who is quite familiar with him, promised him a spot if he behaved, he took the chance to engage in one of those clever back-and-forth conversations you rave about. Falling to his knees like a mischievous child, pretending to seek her advice, he said many sweet and flattering things that I easily interpreted as directed towards me. Since many of the guests didn't return to play after dinner, the conversation turned more general and less engaging, but our eyes communicated a lot—I should say his did, because mine only expressed surprise; he must have thought that I was amazed and deeply affected by the huge impression he had made on me. I'm sure I left him feeling pretty satisfied, and I felt just as content myself.
The Monday following I went to the French Comedy, as was agreed: notwithstanding your literary curiosity, I cannot give you any account of the representation, and can only tell you, that Prevan has an admirable talent for flattery, and that the piece was hooted. I was somewhat troubled to see an evening so near an end, from which I promis’d myself so much pleasure, and, in order to prolong it, I requested the Marechale to sup with me, which gave me an opportunity to invite the lovely flatterer; he only begged time to disengage himself with the Countesses de P——.[2] This name raised my indignation; I saw plainly he was beginning to make them his confidants; I called to mind your prudent advice, and determined——to pursue the adventure, as I was certain it would cure him of this dangerous indiscretion.
The following Monday, I went to the French Comedy, as we agreed. Even though you're curious about the play, I can't really tell you much about it, except that Prevan has a fantastic knack for flattery and that the show got booed. I was a bit upset to see an evening I had expected so much pleasure from come to a close, so to stretch it out, I invited the Marechale to dinner with me, which gave me a chance to invite the charming flatterer. He just asked for some time to free himself from the Countesses de P——. This name made me angry; I could tell he was starting to confide in them. I remembered your wise advice and decided to go ahead with my plan, certain it would cure him of this risky behavior.
Being a stranger in my company, which was that night very small, he paid me the usual compliments, and when we went to supper, offered me his hand—I was wicked enough, when I accepted it, to affect a light tremor, and, as I walked, to cast my eyes downwards, accompanied with a difficulty of respiration—assumed the appearance of foreseeing my defeat, and to dread my conqueror; he instantly remarked it, and the traitor immediately changed his tone and behaviour: he was polite before, but now became all tenderness;—not but the conversation was pretty much the same,—the circumstances required it; but his look was not so lively, yet more flattering; the tone of his voice was softer; his smile was not that of art but satisfaction; and his discourse gradually falling from his sallies, wit gave way to delicacy. Pray, good Sir, what could you have done more?
Being a stranger in my small company that night, he offered me the usual compliments. When we went to supper, he extended his hand—I was mischievous enough, when I took it, to pretend I was shaky and, as I walked, to look down, pretending to have trouble catching my breath—acting as if I could foresee my defeat and feared my conqueror; he noticed it right away, and the traitor immediately shifted his tone and behavior: he was polite before, but now he became all tenderness;—though the conversation was pretty much the same—circumstances required it; but his look was less lively, yet more flattering; his voice was softer; his smile was genuine, not forced; and his chatter gradually shifted from playful banter to more delicate topics. Really, good Sir, what more could you have done?
On my side, I began to grow thoughtful to such a degree that it was taken notice of; and when I was reproached with it, I had the address to defend myself so awkwardly, and to cast a quick, timid, and disconcerted glance at Prevan, to make him imagine that all my fear was lest he should guess at the cause of my confusion.
On my part, I started to become so lost in thought that it caught people's attention; and when I was called out for it, I awkwardly tried to defend myself and shot a quick, shy, and flustered glance at Prevan, making him think that all my anxiety was about him finding out the reason for my embarrassment.
After supper, I took the opportunity, whilst the good Marechale was telling one of those stories she had repeated a hundred times before, to place myself upon my sofa, in that kind of lassitude which a tender reverie brings on. I was not sorry Prevan should see me thus; and he really did me the honour of a most particular, attention. You may very well imagine my timid eyes did not dare lift themselves up to my conqueror, but being directed towards him in a more humble manner, they soon informed me I had obtained my end: but still it was necessary to persuade him I also shared it, and as the Marechale said it was time to retire, I exclaimed in a soft and tender tone, “Oh, good God, I was so happy there!” However, I rose; but before we parted, I asked her how she intended to dispose of herself, to have an opportunity of saying, I intended to stay at home the day after to-morrow; on which we all parted.
After dinner, I took the chance, while the lovely Marechale was telling one of those stories she’d repeated a hundred times before, to settle onto my sofa, feeling that kind of laziness that comes from a gentle daydream. I wasn’t upset that Prevan could see me like this; in fact, he honored me with his keen attention. You can imagine that my shy eyes didn’t dare to look up at my conqueror, but when I glanced at him more humbly, they soon told me I’d gotten my wish: still, I needed to convince him that I felt the same way. As the Marechale said it was time to leave, I softly exclaimed, “Oh, good God, I was so happy there!” But I got up; before we parted, I asked her what her plans were, so I could mention that I’d be staying at home the day after tomorrow, and then we all said goodbye.
Then I sat down to reflect; I had no doubt but Prevan would improve the kind of rendezvous I had just given, that he would come time enough to find me alone, and the attack would be carried on with spirit; but I was certain that, reputation apart, he would not behave with that kind of familiarity which no well-bred person ever permits himself, only with intriguing or unexperienced women; and I did not doubt of my success, if he once let slip the word love, or if he even made any pretension to draw it from me.
Then I sat down to think; I was sure that Prevan would enhance the kind of meeting I had just arranged, that he would arrive at the right time to find me alone, and that the conversation would be lively; but I was certain that, aside from reputation, he wouldn't act with that kind of familiarity that no well-mannered person allows himself, only with intriguing or inexperienced women; and I had no doubt about my success if he ever let slip the word love, or if he even tried to draw it out of me.
How convenient it is to be connected with you men of principle! Sometimes the quarrels of lovers disconcert through timidity, or embarrass by its violent transports; it is a kind of fever which has its hot and cold fits, and sometimes varies its symptoms; but your regular progressions are easily seen through; the first salutation, the deportment, the ton, the conversation, I knew all the evening before: I shall not, then, give you an account of the conversation, which you will readily conceive; only observe, that in my feigned defence I helped him all in my power; embarrassments to give him time to speak, bad arguments to be discussed, fears and diffidence to bring on protestations, the perpetual requisition from him, I beg but one word, that silence on my part which only seemed to make him wish for it more; and besides all this a hand often squeezed, always drawn back, and never refused; thus a whole day would have passed, and we should have passed another in this frivolity, perhaps would have been still engaged in the same, if we had not heard a coach coming into my court. This happy mischance made his solicitations more pressing, and when I found myself safe from all surprise, after having breathed a long sigh, I granted the precious word. Soon after company came in.
How nice it is to connect with you principled guys! Sometimes lovers' arguments can be awkward due to shyness, or they can be overwhelming with their intense emotions; it’s like a fever that has its ups and downs and sometimes shows different symptoms. But your steady interactions are easy to read; the initial greeting, the demeanor, the tone, the conversation—I already knew all of that the night before. So, I won’t recount the conversation, which you can easily imagine; just note that in my pretend defense, I helped him as much as I could. I created awkward moments to give him time to speak, brought up weak arguments for us to discuss, and sparked fears and hesitations to prompt declarations of love. He kept asking, I just need one word, and my silence only made him want it more. Plus, there were times when I would squeeze his hand, always pulling away, but never refusing him. A whole day could have gone by, and we might have spent another in this silly routine, perhaps still caught up in it, if we hadn’t heard a carriage coming into my driveway. This fortunate accident made his pleas more urgent, and once I felt safe from any surprises, letting out a long sigh, I finally gave him that precious word. Shortly after, company arrived.
Prevan requested to visit me the morning following, to which I consented; being careful of myself, I ordered my waiting maid to stay during the whole time of this visit in my bed chamber, from whence you know, one may see every thing that passes in my dressing room. Our conversation was easy, and both having the same desires, we were soon agreed; it was necessary to get rid of this troublesome spectator; that was where I waited for him.
Prevan asked to see me the next morning, which I agreed to; being cautious, I instructed my maid to stay in my bedroom the entire time he visited, where you know, you can see everything happening in my dressing room. Our conversation flowed smoothly, and since we shared the same intentions, we quickly came to an understanding; we needed to get rid of this annoying onlooker; that's where I was waiting for him.
Then giving him an account of my domestic life, I easily persuaded him we should never find a favourable opportunity, and he must look upon it a kind of miracle that which he had yesterday, and was attended with such dangerous consequences as might expose me, as there was every instant company coming into the saloon. I did not fail to add, those were long established customs in my family, which, until then, had never been varied, and at the same time insisted on the impossibility of altering them, as they would expose me to the reflections of my servants. He endeavoured to affect grief, to be out of humour, to tell me I had very little love: you may guess what an impression that made on me. Being determined to strike the decisive blow, I called tears to my assistance. It was the real scene in Zara, You weep. The ascendant he thought he had gained over me, and the hope he conceived of ruining me in his own way, supplied him with all the love of Orosmane.
Then I told him about my home life, and I easily convinced him that we would never find a good opportunity. He should see it as a kind of miracle that we had what we did yesterday, especially since it came with such serious risks that could expose me, with people constantly coming into the lounge. I made sure to mention that these were long-standing traditions in my family, which had never been changed until now, and I emphasized that it was impossible to alter them, as it would make me vulnerable to my servants' judgment. He tried to pretend he was upset, to act out of sorts, and told me I showed very little affection; you can imagine how that affected me. Determined to make a strong point, I turned to tears for help. It was just like the scene in Zara, *You weep*. The influence he thought he had over me, combined with his hope of controlling me in his own way, gave him all the arrogance of Orosmane.
This theatrical scene being over, we returned to the settling our measures. No probability of success in the day, our thoughts were taken up with the night; but my porter was an insurmountable obstacle, and I could not agree to any attempt to corrupt him: he then proposed the small door of my garden; that I had foreseen. I pretended a dog there, that was quiet and silent in the day-time, but a mere devil at night. The facility with which I gave into all his schemes served to encourage him, and he soon proposed the most ridiculous expedient, which was the one I accepted.
This theatrical scene wrapped up, we went back to figuring out our plans. With no chance of success during the day, we focused on the night; however, my porter was a huge obstacle, and I couldn’t agree to any attempt to bribe him. He then suggested using the small door in my garden, which I had already anticipated. I pretended there was a dog there that was quiet and harmless during the day but turned into a total menace at night. The ease with which I went along with all his ideas encouraged him, and he quickly came up with the most ridiculous plan, which I ended up agreeing to.
First, he assured me his domestic was as secret as himself; there he did not deceive me, for one was as secret as the other: I was to give a public supper, he would be of the party, would take his opportunity to slip out alone, his dextrous confidant would call his carriage, open the door, and he, instead of getting in, would slip aside; thus, having disappeared to every body, yet being in my house, the question was, how he should get into my apartment? I must own, that at first my embarrassment was to find out reasons against the project, to have the appearance of destroying it. He answered them by proofs; nothing was more common than this method, he had often made use of it; it was even the one he practised most, as being the least dangerous.
First, he assured me his private life was as secret as he was; he wasn’t lying about that, because one was as hidden as the other: I was to host a public dinner, he would be part of the group, and would seize the chance to sneak out alone. His skilled accomplice would call for his carriage and open the door, and he, instead of getting in, would slip away. This way, he would vanish from everyone’s sight while still being in my house. The real question was how he would get into my room. I must admit, at first, I was more focused on finding reasons to oppose the idea, pretending to be against it. He countered those objections with evidence; nothing was more common than this method, and he had used it many times before. In fact, it was the one he used the most often, as it was the least risky.
Being convinced by those unanswerable authorities, I candidly owned I had a back-stairs that led very near to my private closet; I could leave the key in the door, and he possibly might shut himself up in it, to wait there without any danger till my women were retired; then, to give more probability to my consent, the moment afterwards I refused, then again consented, only upon condition of the most perfect submission and good behaviour. To sum up all, I wanted to prove my affection, but not to satisfy his.
Being convinced by those unquestionable authorities, I honestly admitted I had a secret entrance that led very close to my private room; I could leave the key in the door, and he might lock himself in there, waiting safely until my women had gone to bed; then, to make my agreement seem more believable, right after I said no, I then agreed again, but only on the condition of complete submission and good behavior. In short, I wanted to show my affection, but not to fulfill his desires.
His departure in the morning, which I had forgot to mention, was settled to be through the little gate in the garden; as he was to go off by day-light, the Cerberus would not speak a word; not a soul passed at that hour, and my people were all to be in a profound sleep. If you are astonished at this heap of nonsense, you must forget our situation: what business had we for better arguments? All that he required was, that the business should be known, and I was very certain it never should: the day after was fixed for the execution.
His departure in the morning, which I forgot to mention, was supposed to be through the little gate in the garden; since he was leaving at dawn, the guard wouldn’t say a word; no one passed by at that hour, and everyone in my household was meant to be in a deep sleep. If you’re surprised by this nonsense, you need to remember our situation: what reason did we have for better plans? All that he needed was for the matter to be known, and I was very sure it never would be: the day after was set for the execution.
Observe, here is an affair settled, and no one has ever yet seen Prevan in my company; he offers his box for a new piece, I accept of a place in it; I invite this woman to supper during the performance, in Prevan’s presence; I can scarcely dispense proposing to him to make one; he accepts my offer; two days afterwards makes me a ceremonial visit;—he comes, it is true, to visit me the day following, in the morning; but besides, as the morning visits are no longer exceptionable, it belongs to me to judge of this, and I account it trifling.
Look, here's a situation settled, and no one has ever seen Prevan with me; he offers his box for a new show, and I accept a seat in it; I invite this woman to dinner during the performance, in Prevan's presence; I can hardly avoid asking him to join us; he accepts my invitation; two days later, he pays me a formal visit;—it's true he comes to see me the next morning; but since morning visits aren't a big deal anymore, it's up to me to decide about this, and I think it's insignificant.
The fatal day being come, the day on which I was to lose my virtue and reputation, I gave my instructions to my faithful Victoire, and she executed them to admiration.
The fateful day had arrived, the day when I was about to lose my virtue and reputation. I gave my instructions to my loyal Victoire, and she executed them flawlessly.
When evening came, I had a good deal of company; Prevan was announced; I received him with singular politeness, a proof of my slender acquaintance with him; I placed him with the Marechale’s party, as it was in her company I had first been acquainted with him: the evening produced nothing but a little note which the discreet lover found means to convey to me, and was burned, according to custom: he informed me, I might depend upon him; it was embellished with all the parasitical phrases of love, happiness, &c., which are never wanting upon such occasions.
When evening arrived, I had quite a few guests; Prevan was announced. I welcomed him with unusual politeness, showing how little I actually knew him. I seated him with the Marechale’s group since that was where I had first met him. The evening brought nothing but a small note that the discreet lover managed to slip to me, which was burned, as is tradition. He assured me I could count on him; it was filled with all the flattering phrases of love, happiness, etc., that are always present in such situations.
At midnight, the parties being all finished, I proposed a short macedoine.[3] In this project I first had in view to favour Prevan’s evasion, and at the same time to make it remarkable, which could not fail to happen, considering his reputation as a gamester; I was also glad, if there should hereafter be occasion, it might be remembered I was left alone. The game lasted longer than I had imagined; the devil tempted me; I gave way to my desire, to console the impatient prisoner. I was thus proceeding to my ruin, when I reflected, if I once surrendered, I should abandon the power of keeping him within the necessary bounds of decency for my projects: I had strength enough to resist, and returned not in a very good humour to my place at this abominable game; at last it was finished, and every one departed: I rung for my women, undressed myself expeditiously, and sent them away.
At midnight, once all the parties were over, I suggested a quick mix-up. [3] My plan was first to help Prevan escape while also making it notable, which was bound to happen given his reputation as a gambler. I also thought it would be good, if the need arose later, that people would remember I was left alone. The game lasted longer than I expected; temptation got to me, and I gave in to my desire to comfort the restless prisoner. I was heading towards my downfall when I realized that if I gave in, I’d lose the ability to keep him within the necessary limits for my plans. I found the strength to resist and returned to my spot at this dreadful game in a bad mood. Finally, it ended, and everyone left. I rang for my women, quickly got undressed, and sent them away.
Only think now, Viscount, you see me in my light robe, approaching with a circumspect timid pace, and trembling hand, opening the door to my conqueror. The moment he perceived me, he flew like lightning. What shall I say? I was overcome, totally overcome, before I could speak a word to stop him or defend myself. Afterwards he wanted to take a more commodious situation, and more adapted to our circumstances. He cursed his dress as an obstacle to his complete bliss. He would engage with equal arms; but my extreme timidity opposed his desire, and my tender caresses did not give him time. He was employed in other matters.
Only think about it now, Viscount. You see me in my light robe, walking cautiously with a trembling hand as I open the door to my conqueror. The moment he noticed me, he rushed in like lightning. What can I say? I was completely overwhelmed before I could say a word to stop him or defend myself. Later, he wanted a more comfortable setup that suited our situation better. He grumbled about his outfit being an obstacle to his total happiness. He wanted to be on equal terms, but my intense shyness got in the way of what he wanted, and my gentle touches didn’t give him the time he needed. He was focused on other things.
His rights were doubled; his pretensions revived: then “Harkee,” said I, “so far you have a tolerable pretty story for the two Countesses de P——, and a thousand others: but I have a great curiosity to know how you will relate the end of this adventure.” Then ringing with all my strength, I had my turn, my action was quicker than his speech. He scarcely stammered out a few words, when I heard Victoire calling all my people that she had kept together in her apartment, as I had ordered her; then assuming the tone of a queen, and raising my voice, “Walk out, Sir,” said I, “and never dare appear again in my presence.” On which all my servants crowded in.
His rights were doubled; his ambitions revived. Then I said, “Listen, you have a pretty good story for the two Countesses de P—— and a thousand others: but I’m really curious to know how you’re going to wrap up this adventure.” With all my strength, I rang the bell; my actions were quicker than his words. He barely managed to stammer out a few words when I heard Victoire calling my people, whom she had kept in her room as I instructed her. Then, adopting a queenly tone and raising my voice, I said, “Leave, sir, and don’t ever dare to show your face in front of me again.” At that, all my servants rushed in.
Poor Prevan was distracted, and imagined murder was intended, when in reality it was nothing but a joke, seized his sword; he was mistaken, for my valet-de-chambre, a resolute lusty fellow, grasped him round the body, and soon brought him down. I own, I was very much terrified, ordered them not to use him ill, but let him retire quietly, only to take care he was put out of the house. My servants obeyed my orders: there was a great bustle among them; they were enraged to the highest degree, any one should dare to insult their virtuous mistress; they all accompanied the unfortunate Chevalier, with all the noise and scandal I could wish. Victoire alone remained with me, and we repaired the disorder the bed had suffered.
Poor Prevan was distracted and thought someone intended to kill him, when in reality it was just a joke. He grabbed his sword; he was mistaken, because my strong and determined servant grabbed him around the waist and quickly took him down. I admit, I was really scared and ordered them not to hurt him, but to let him leave quietly, just making sure he got out of the house. My servants followed my orders: there was a lot of commotion; they were furious that anyone would dare to insult their virtuous mistress; they all accompanied the unfortunate Chevalier with as much noise and scandal as I could have hoped for. Only Victoire stayed with me, and we fixed the mess the bed had gotten into.
My people returned tumultuously; and I, still in great emotion, desired to know by what good fortune they happened to be all up. Victoire said, she had given a supper to two of her friends; that they had sat up in her apartment; and, in short, every thing as had been agreed on. I thanked then all, desired them to retire, directing one of them to go immediately for my physician. I thought I was authorised to guard against the effects of this dreadful shock; this was the surest means to give it currency, as well as celebrity.
My people returned in an uproar, and I, still very emotional, wanted to know how it happened that they were all still awake. Victoire said she had hosted a dinner for two of her friends; they had stayed up in her room, and everything had gone as planned. I thanked them all, asked them to leave, and told one of them to go immediately for my doctor. I felt justified in taking precautions against the effects of this horrific shock; this was the best way to make it known and gain attention.
He came, pitied me much, and prescribed repose. I moreover ordered Victoire to go about the neighbourhood in the morning early to spread the news.
He came, felt sorry for me, and suggested I rest. I also told Victoire to go around the neighborhood early in the morning to spread the news.
Every thing succeeded so well, that before noon, as soon as my doors were open, my devout neighbour was at my bed’s head, to know the truth and the circumstances of this horrible adventure. I was obliged to lament with her a whole hour the corruption of the age. Soon after, I received the enclosed note from the Marechale, and before five, to my great astonishment, M——[4] waited on me, to make his excuses, as he said, that an officer of his corps should be guilty of such an offence. He was informed of it at dinner at the Marechale’s, and immediately sent an order to Prevan, putting him under arrest. I requested he might be forgiven, which he refused. I thought, as an accomplice, I should also be punished, and kept within doors; I ordered my gate to be shut, and to let every one know I was indisposed.
Everything went so well that by noon, as soon as my doors were open, my devoted neighbor was at my bedside, eager to know the truth and details of this terrible incident. I had to spend a whole hour lamenting with her over the state of the world. Shortly after, I received the enclosed note from the Marechale, and by five o'clock, to my great surprise, M——[4] came to see me to apologize, saying that an officer from his unit shouldn't have acted so poorly. He found out about it during dinner at the Marechale’s and immediately ordered Prevan to be arrested. I asked that he be forgiven, but that request was denied. I felt that, as an accomplice, I should also be punished and kept inside; I ordered my gate to be shut and told everyone I was unwell.
It is to this solitude you are indebted for so long a letter. I shall write one to Madame de Volanges, which she will certainly read publicly, where you will see this transaction as it must be related.
It is this solitude that has led to such a long letter from me. I will write one to Madame de Volanges, which she will definitely read out loud, where you will see this situation as it needs to be explained.
I forgot to tell you, that Belleroche is outrageous, and absolutely determined to fight Prevan. Poor fellow! But I shall have time to cool his brain. In the mean time, I will go to repose my own, which is much fatigued by writing. Adieu, Viscount!
I forgot to mention that Belleroche is furious and totally set on fighting Prevan. Poor guy! But I’ll have time to calm him down. In the meantime, I’m going to take a break and rest my own mind, which is really tired from writing. Goodbye, Viscount!
Sept. 25, 17—.
Sep. 25, 17—.
[1] See Letter the 74th.
[2] See Letter the 70th.
[3] Several persons, perhaps, do not know that a macedoine is a collection of games at hazard, in which each person who cuts the cards has a right to choose when he holds the hand: it is one of the inventions of the age.
[3] Some people may not realize that a macedoine is a mix of gambling games, where anyone who cuts the cards can decide when to play their hand: it's one of the innovations of this era.
LETTER LXXXVI.
The Marechale DE —— to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
The Marechale DE —— to the Marchioness DE MERTEUIL.
(Enclosed in the former.)
(Included in the earlier.)
My good God! what is this I learn, my dear Madam? Is it possible that little Prevan should be guilty of such an abominable action to you! What is one not exposed to! We can be no longer safe in our own houses! Upon my word, these events are a consolation to age; I shall never forgive myself, as I have been partly the cause of your receiving such a monster into your house; I assure you, if what I hear is true, he shall never more set foot in mine: it is what every one must do that has any sentiments of honour, if they act properly.
My goodness! What is this I hear, my dear Madam? Is it really possible that little Prevan could do such an awful thing to you? What are we not exposed to! We can no longer feel safe in our own homes! Honestly, these events are a reminder of the harsh realities that come with age; I will never forgive myself for partly being the reason you welcomed such a monster into your home. I promise you, if what I hear is true, he will never set foot in mine again. That’s what anyone with a sense of honor must do if they want to act right.
I have been informed you was very ill, and have been very uneasy about your state of health; I beg you will let me hear from you; or if you are not able to write, pray let one of your women inform me how you are. A word will be sufficient to relieve my anxiety. I should have been with you this morning; but my doctor will not allow me to miss a day from my bath.
I heard you were really sick, and I've been quite worried about your health. Please let me know how you are; if you can't write, could you have one of your women update me? Just a word would ease my worry. I intended to be with you this morning, but my doctor won't let me skip a day of my bath.
I must go this morning to Versailles on my nephew’s business.
I need to go to Versailles this morning for my nephew's business.
Farewell, dear Madam! Depend upon my sincerest friendship.
Farewell, dear Madam! You can count on my deepest friendship.
Paris, Sept. 25, 17—.
Paris, Sept. 25, 1717—.
LETTER LXXXVII.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to MADAME DE VOLANGES.
The Marchioness de Merteuil to Madame de Volanges.
My dear and worthy friend, I write this in bed. The most disagreeable accident, and the most impossible to be foreseen, has, by the violent shock and chagrin it has occasioned, given me a fit of illness; not that I have any thing to reproach myself with: but it is always painful to a virtuous woman, who would preserve the modesty of her sex, to have the eyes of the public fixed on her, and I would give the world to have avoided this unhappy adventure. I do not yet know but I shall go to the country until it is blown over. The matter is thus:
My dear and valued friend, I’m writing this from bed. An incredibly unfortunate accident, one that could never have been predicted, has thrown me into a fit of illness due to the shock and distress it caused. It’s not that I feel any guilt, but it’s always painful for a decent woman, who wants to maintain her dignity, to have the public’s attention on her. I would do anything to have avoided this unfortunate incident. I’m still unsure if I’ll go to the countryside until this all blows over. Here’s what happened:
I met at the Marechale de ——’s a Mr. Prevan, who you certainly know by name, and was no otherwise known to me; meeting him accidentally at her house, I thought myself safe in looking upon him as good company; his person is tolerable, and he is not deficient in wit; chance, and being tired at play, left me the only woman in company with him and the bishop of ——. Whilst all the others were engaged at lansquenet, we chatted together until supper. At table a new piece was mentioned, which gave him an opportunity of offering his box to the Marechale, who accepted of it; it was agreed I should attend her: this appointment was for Monday last at the French Comedy. As the Marechale was to sup with me after the performance, I proposed to this gentleman to accompany her; he accordingly came. Two days after he paid me a visit, which passed in the usual conversation; not a single word of any thing remarkable; the day following he again visited me in the morning, which, as it was something extraordinary, I thought it was better, instead of making him sensible, by my manner of receiving him, to politely inform him we were not yet on so intimate a footing as he seemed to think; for this reason I sent him that same day a ceremonious invitation to a supper which I gave the day before yesterday. I did not speak four words to him during the whole evening, and he retired as soon as his party was finished. So far you will agree, nothing had the air of an intrigue. After play was over, we made a macedoine, which lasted till two o’clock, and then I went to bed.
I met Mr. Prevan at the Marechale de ——’s, and you probably know him by name, although he was a stranger to me. I ran into him by chance at her house and figured he’d be good company. He has an okay appearance and is witty. Since everyone else was busy playing lansquenet, it ended up just me, him, and the bishop of —— chatting until supper. At the table, someone brought up a new piece, which led him to offer his box to the Marechale, and she accepted. We decided I would join her; this was set for last Monday at the French Comedy. Since the Marechale was coming over for supper afterward, I suggested this gentleman accompany her, and he agreed. Two days later, he visited me, and our conversation was pretty standard—nothing noteworthy. The following morning, he visited again, which was unusual, so instead of making it obvious through my reaction that we weren’t that close yet, I politely informed him with a formal invitation to a supper I was hosting the night before last. I barely spoke to him the whole evening, and he left right after his friends did. So far, you’d agree, there was nothing intriguing about this. After the game was over, we made a fruit salad that lasted until two o’clock, and then I went to bed.
My women were gone a full half-hour, when I heard a noise in my apartment. I drew my curtain in a great fright, and saw a man coming in from my closet-door. I shrieked out, and recognised, by my watch light, this Mr. Prevan, who, with a most inconceivable effrontery, bid me not be alarmed, that he would clear up the mystery of his conduct, and requested me not to make any noise. Thus saying, he lighted a bougie. I was frightened to such a degree, that I could not speak a word; his easy and tranquil air petrified me still more: but he had not spoke two words, before I perceived what this pretended mystery was, and my only answer, as you may well believe, was to ring my bell.
My friends had been gone for a full half-hour when I heard a noise in my apartment. I pulled back my curtain in a panic and saw a man coming in through my closet door. I screamed and recognized, with the light from my watch, this Mr. Prevan, who, with an unbelievable boldness, told me not to be alarmed, that he would explain his behavior, and asked me not to make any noise. As he said this, he lit a candle. I was so scared that I couldn't say a word; his calm and casual demeanor terrified me even more. But before he could say two words, I realized what this so-called mystery was, and my only response, as you can imagine, was to ring my bell.
By good fortune, my servants, who had been making merry with one of my women, were not gone to bed. My waiting woman, when near my room, heard me speaking very loud, was frightened, and called all my people. Judge you what a scandal! They were enraged; I thought my valet-de-chambre would have killed Prevan. I must own, at that time I was very glad to have such a powerful assistance: but on reflection, I would rather my waiting woman alone had come; she would have been sufficient, and I should, perhaps, have avoided all this noise which afflicts me.
By good luck, my servants, who had been partying with one of my women, hadn’t gone to bed yet. My maid, when she got close to my room, heard me speaking very loudly, got scared, and called all my people. Can you imagine the scandal? They were furious; I thought my valet was going to kill Prevan. I have to say, at that moment, I was pretty happy to have such strong backup: but looking back, I would have preferred if just my maid had come; that would have been enough, and maybe I could have avoided all this noise that’s bothering me.
The tumult awoke all the neighbours; the people talked, and since yesterday the news has spread all over Paris. Monsieur de Prevan is a prisoner, by order of the commandant of his corps, who had the politeness to call on me to make an apology. This imprisonment will augment the noise, but I have not been able to prevent it. The court and city have been at my gate, which is shut to every body. The few persons I have admitted have assured me, every one does me justice, and the public resentment is very high against Monsieur de Prevan; he certainly deserves it: but that does not wipe away this disagreeable occurrence.
The commotion woke up all the neighbors; people are talking, and since yesterday, the news has spread all over Paris. Monsieur de Prevan is in custody, ordered by the commander of his unit, who was kind enough to come by and apologize to me. This imprisonment will make the situation even louder, but I haven't been able to stop it. Both the court and the city have been at my door, which I’ve kept closed to everyone. The few people I've let in have told me that everyone is recognizing my fairness, and public anger against Monsieur de Prevan is really high; he definitely has it coming. But that doesn’t change the fact that this is an unpleasant situation.
Moreover, this man has certainly some friends, and who knows what such friends may invent to my prejudice? Good God! how unhappy a young woman is! When she has even sheltered herself against slander, it is not sufficient, she must also silence calumny.
Moreover, this man definitely has some friends, and who knows what those friends might make up to harm my reputation? Good God! How unhappy a young woman is! Even when she has protected herself from gossip, that's not enough; she also has to silence slander.
I beg you will let me know what you would have done, and what you would do in my situation, with your opinion. It has always been from you I received the gentlest and most prudent consolations: it is still from you I wish to receive them. Adieu, my dear, good friend! You know the sentiments that attach me to you for ever. I embrace your amiable daughter, and am, &c.
I hope you'll let me know what you would have done, and what you would do in my situation, along with your thoughts. I've always gotten the kindest and most sensible support from you: it's still from you I want to hear that. Goodbye, my dear, good friend! You know the feelings that connect me to you forever. I send my love to your wonderful daughter, and am, &c.
Paris, Dec. 26, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 26, 1717—.
END OF THE SECOND VOLUME.
DANGEROUS
CONNECTIONS:
A SERIES OF
LETTERS,
CHOSEN FROM THE CORRESPONDENCE
OF
A PRIVATE GROUP;
AND PUBLISHED FOR THE EDUCATION
OF SOCIETY.
I have observed the Manners of the Times, and have wrote those Letters.
J.J. Rousseau. Pref. to the New Eloise.
VOL. III.
LONDON:
Printed for T. HOOKHAM,
At his Circulating Library, New Bond Street Corner of Bruton Street.
M.DCC.LXXXIV.
LETTER LXXXVIII.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
Cecilia Volanges to the Viscount de Valmont.
Although I have the greatest pleasure in receiving the Chevalier Danceny’s letters, and I wish as ardently as he does, we might see each other without interruption, yet I dare not venture to do what you propose. First, I think it too dangerous; the key you desire I should put in the place of the other resembles it pretty much, it is true: but still there is some difference, and mama is so exceedingly watchful, that nothing escapes her; besides, though it has not been used since we came here, an accident might happen, and if it was missed, I should be ruined for ever. Moreover, it would be very wrong to have a double key; that would be too much: it is true, you would take the management of it yourself; but yet if it should come to be known, all the reproach would fall on me, as it would be done for me; not that there is any difficulty in the matter, and I twice had a mind to take it, but something came over me, and I was seized with such a tremor, my resolution failed me. I believe, then, we had better remain as we are.
Although I really enjoy receiving Chevalier Danceny’s letters and wish, just as he does, that we could see each other freely, I can’t go along with what you’re suggesting. First, I think it’s too risky; the key you want me to swap is similar to the other one, that’s true, but there are still some differences, and my mom is incredibly observant—nothing gets past her. Also, even though it hasn’t been used since we got here, something could go wrong, and if it gets discovered, I’d be ruined forever. Plus, it would be very wrong to have a duplicate key; that’s just too much. I know you’d take charge of it, but if it were to get out, all the blame would fall on me since it would be done for my sake. It’s not that there's any real difficulty in the situation—I actually considered taking it twice, but then something stopped me, and I was hit with such a wave of nervousness that I lost my nerve. I think it’s better if we just stay as we are.
If you will be so good to continue your friendship as you have done hitherto, you will always find an opportunity to deliver me a letter. Even the last I should have had very readily, had it not been for the accident of your turning about so suddenly. I am very sensible, you cannot be always taken up with those matters as I am: but I would rather have a little patience than run such risks. I am certain Mr. Danceny would be of the same opinion: for whenever he wanted any thing I was not inclined to, he instantly gave it up.
If you could keep up your friendship like you have so far, you'll always find a way to send me a letter. I would have gotten the last one easily if you hadn't turned around so suddenly. I realize you can't always be wrapped up in these things like I am, but I'd prefer to be a little patient than take those kinds of risks. I'm sure Mr. Danceny feels the same way; whenever he asked for something I wasn't into, he just dropped it right away.
You will find, Sir, with this letter, your own, Mr. Danceny’s, and your key. I am, nevertheless, extremely obliged to you for your kindness, which I entreat you to continue to me. I am, indeed, very miserable, and should be much more so, were it not for you: but she is my mother, and I must have patience; and provided Mr. Danceny will always love me, and you do not desert me, I may yet, perhaps, be happy.
You will find, Sir, with this letter, your own, Mr. Danceny’s, and your key. I am, however, very grateful for your kindness, and I hope you'll keep being there for me. I am truly unhappy, and I would be even more so if it weren't for you: but she is my mother, and I have to be patient; as long as Mr. Danceny continues to love me, and you don't abandon me, I might still be happy someday.
I have the honour to be, with the utmost gratitude, Sir, your most humble and obedient servant.
I am honored to be, with my deepest thanks, Sir, your most humble and obedient servant.
Sept. 26, 17—.
Sept. 26, 1717.
LETTER LXXXIX.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
The Viscount de Valmont to the Chevalier Danceny.
If your affairs do not go on quite so rapidly as you wish, my dear friend, it is not altogether my fault. I have many obstacles to encounter here. Madame de Volanges’ vigilance and severity are not the only ones; your young friend also throws some in my way. Whether it proceeds from coldness, or timidity, she will not always do what I advise her; and yet I think I should know better than she what is proper to be done.
If things aren't happening as quickly as you'd like, my dear friend, it’s not entirely my fault. I’ve got a lot of obstacles to deal with here. Madame de Volanges’ watchfulness and strictness aren’t the only ones; your young friend is also putting things in my way. Whether it’s due to being distant or shy, she doesn’t always take my advice; and I believe I know better than she does what should be done.
I had proposed an easy, commodious, and safe way of delivering your letters to her, and even to smooth the way of the interviews you wish for so much; but I have not been able to determine her to make use of it. This gives me the more concern, as I can’t think of any other means of bringing you together; and I am even incessantly terrified at the danger we all three are exposed to on account of your correspondence; you may then very well imagine, I do not choose to risk myself, nor expose you both to it.
I had suggested a simple, convenient, and safe way to deliver your letters to her and to help set up the meetings you both want so badly; but I haven't been able to convince her to use it. This worries me even more because I can’t think of any other way to bring you together. I'm constantly scared about the danger we're all facing because of your correspondence; you can surely understand that I don’t want to put myself at risk, nor expose you both to it.
Still it would give me the greatest uneasiness, that your little friend’s want of confidence in me should deprive me of the pleasure of being useful to you; I think you would do well to write to her on the subject. Act as you think proper; you are to determine; for it is not enough that we serve our friends: we must serve them in the manner the most pleasing to themselves. It might be also one other means of ascertaining the degree of her affection for you; for the woman who retains a will of her own, does not love to that degree she ought. Not that I have any suspicion of her constancy: but she is very young; she is in great awe of her mother, who you already know to be your enemy; therefore it might be dangerous to suffer her to wain her mind from you: however, I would not have you make yourself in the least uneasy, as it is the solicitude of friendship only, and not any diffidence whatever, that makes me so explicit.
It still makes me really uneasy that your little friend’s lack of trust in me could prevent me from being helpful to you. I think it would be a good idea for you to write to her about it. Do what you think is best; the decision is yours because it’s not enough to just help our friends—we need to do it in a way that they find most pleasing. It could also be another way to gauge how much she cares for you, because a woman who has her own strong opinions doesn’t love as deeply as she should. Not that I doubt her loyalty, but she is very young and quite intimidated by her mother, who you know is against you. So it might be risky to let her distance herself from you. However, I don’t want you to worry at all; my concern comes from friendship, not from any lack of confidence.
I must break off, as I have some important matters of my own to attend. I am not so far advanced as you are: but my passion is as ardent; that is my consolation. And was I to be unsuccessful in my own, it would be a pleasure to think, my time has been well employed if I can be useful in yours. Adieu, my dear friend!
I have to stop now because I have some important things to deal with. I'm not as far along as you are, but my feelings are just as strong; that’s my comfort. And even if I don't succeed in my own pursuits, it would make me happy to know that my efforts were worthwhile if I can support you in yours. Goodbye, my dear friend!
Castle of ——, Sept. 26, 17—.
Castle of ——, Sept. 26, 17—.
LETTER XC.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The President De Tourvel to the Viscount Valmont.
I much wish, Sir, this letter may not give you uneasiness; or, if it should, I hope it will be alleviated by that which I confess I now experience in writing to you. You should, I think, by this time be sufficiently acquainted with my sentiments, to be assured I would not willingly afflict you; and flatter myself, you are incapable of making me for ever miserable. I beseech you, then, by the tender friendship I have professed, and those softer sentiments, and more sincere than any you have for me, let us no longer see one another. Leave me; and until then, let us avoid particularly those dangerous conversations, when by an unaccountable attraction I am lost in attending to what I ought not to listen to, and forget what I intend to say.
I really hope this letter doesn’t upset you; but if it does, I hope my feelings while writing this will ease your discomfort. By now, you should know my feelings well enough to trust that I would never want to hurt you, and I like to believe you wouldn't make me hopelessly miserable. So I ask you, with all the close friendship I’ve expressed and the deeper feelings I have for you than you might have for me, let’s not see each other anymore. Please leave me; and in the meantime, let’s especially avoid those risky conversations where I find myself drawn in and forget what I really want to say.
When you joined company with me in the park yesterday, I fully intended telling you what I am now about to write. What was the consequence? Why to be totally engaged on a subject to which I ought never to listen: your love. For heaven’s sake! depart from me. Fear not that absence should alter my sentiments for you; for how can I possibly overcome them, when I am no longer able to contend with them. You see I confess my weakness, and I dread less to own it than I do to yield to it: but the command I have lost over my mind, I will still preserve over my actions; this I am determined on, were it at the expence of life.
When you spent time with me in the park yesterday, I planned to tell you what I'm about to write now. What happened? I became completely absorbed in a topic I should never have paid attention to: your love. For heaven's sake, leave me alone. Don't worry that being apart will change how I feel about you; how can I possibly get over these feelings when I can no longer fight them? You see, I admit my weakness, and I’m less afraid to admit it than I am to give in to it. But while I've lost control over my thoughts, I will still maintain control over my actions; I'm determined to do this, even if it costs me my life.
Alas! the time is not very distant, that I imagined myself proof against such temptations. I felicitated myself on it, I fear, too much; I was, perhaps, too vain of it; and Heaven has punished, and cruelly punished, that pride: but all-merciful, even in the hour in which it strikes us, it warns me again before an utter fall; and I should be doubly guilty, if, being sensible of my weakness, I should abandon my prudence.
Alas! It wasn't too long ago that I thought I could resist such temptations. I congratulated myself a bit too much for it, and maybe I was too proud of that. But Heaven has punished me, and quite harshly for that pride: yet, even in the moment it hits, it reminds me once more before I completely fall; and I'd be doubly at fault if, knowing my weaknesses, I let down my guard.
You have often told me, you would not desire a happiness purchased at the expence of my tears. Let us no longer talk of happiness; let me, at least, regain some degree of tranquillity.
You’ve often told me you wouldn’t want a happiness that comes at the cost of my tears. Let’s stop discussing happiness; let me, at least, find some peace again.
In acceding to my request, what fresh claims will you not acquire over my heart, and those founded upon virtue! How I shall enjoy my gratitude! I shall owe to you the happiness of entertaining, without any remorse, a sentiment of the most delicious kind. Now, on the contrary, startled at my sentiments and my thoughts, I am equally afraid of occupying my mind either with you or myself. The very idea of you terrifies me. When I cannot fly from it, I combat it. I do not banish it, but repulse it.
In agreeing to my request, what new claims will you not gain over my heart, especially those based on virtue! How much I'll appreciate my gratitude! I'll owe you the happiness of being able to embrace, without any guilt, a feeling of the most delightful kind. Right now, on the other hand, surprised by my feelings and thoughts, I'm equally scared of thinking about either you or myself. Just the thought of you frightens me. When I can't escape it, I fight against it. I don't push it away, but I resist it.
Is it not better for us to terminate this state of trouble and anxiety? You, whose tender heart has even in the midst of errors remained the friend of virtue, you will attend to my distressed situation; you will not reject my prayer. A milder but as tender an attachment will succeed these violent agitations. Then regaining my existence through your beneficence, I will cherish that existence, and will say in the joy of my heart, the calm I now feel I owe to my friend.
Isn't it better for us to end this state of trouble and anxiety? You, whose kind heart has remained a friend to virtue even in the midst of mistakes, will understand my distress; you won't turn away my plea. A gentler yet just as deep connection will follow these intense emotions. Then, as I regain my life through your kindness, I will treasure that life and say with joy in my heart, the peace I feel now is thanks to my friend.
By submitting to some slight privations, which I do not impose upon you, but entreat you to yield to, will you think a termination of my sufferings too dearly purchased? Ah! if to render you happy, there was only my own consent that I should be unhappy, you may rely on it, I should not hesitate a moment: but to become criminal! no, my friend, I shall prefer a thousand deaths.
By accepting some small sacrifices, which I’m not forcing on you but asking you to consider, do you think the end of my suffering is too high a price? Ah! If making you happy meant I would have to be unhappy myself, you can count on me—I wouldn’t hesitate for a second. But to become a criminal! No, my friend, I would choose a thousand deaths instead.
Even now, assailed by shame, and on the eve of remorse, I dread all others and myself equally. I blush when in any circle, and feel a horror when in solitude. I no longer lead any but a life of grief. I can only re-establish my tranquillity by your consent; my most laudable resolutions are insufficient to afford me security. I have formed the resolution I have just mentioned no longer than yesterday, and yet have passed the last night in tears.
Even now, overwhelmed by shame and on the brink of regret, I fear everyone, including myself, equally. I blush in any group and feel a terrible dread when I’m alone. My life is nothing but pain. I can only regain my peace of mind with your approval; my best intentions are not enough to give me comfort. I made the decision I just mentioned only yesterday, and yet I spent last night in tears.
Behold your friend, her whom you love, confounded, and supplicating you for the preservation of her repose and her innocence. Oh, heaven! would she ever but through your means have been reduced to make such humiliating entreaties! I, however, do not reproach you with any thing. I feel too sensibly, from the experience of myself, how difficult it is to resist so over-ruling a sentiment. A lamentation such as mine ought not to be deemed a murmur. Do, from generosity what I do from duty; and to all the sentiments you have inspired me with, I shall add that of eternal gratitude. Adieu, adieu, Sir!
Look at your friend, the one you love, troubled and begging you to protect her peace and innocence. Oh, heaven! Would she ever have been brought to make such degrading pleas if it weren't for you? However, I don't blame you for anything. I know all too well how hard it is to resist such a powerful feeling. My lament shouldn't be considered just a complaint. Please act out of kindness as I'm acting out of duty, and in return for all the feelings you've inspired in me, I'll add one of lasting gratitude. Goodbye, goodbye, Sir!
From ——, Sept. 27, 17—.
From ——, Sept. 27, 17—.
LETTER XCI.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
Valmont to the President de Tourvel.
Plunged into consternation as I am by your letter, how shall I answer it, Madam? Doubtless, if the alternative is your unhappiness or mine, it is my duty to sacrifice myself, and I do not hesitate to do it: but concerns so interesting, merit, I think, full discussion and elucidation; and how shall we arrive at that, if we are no longer to see or speak to one another.
Plunged into confusion by your letter, how should I respond, Madam? Surely, if the choice is between your unhappiness or mine, I should sacrifice myself, and I’m willing to do so. However, topics as important as these deserve thorough discussion and clarification; how can we achieve that if we can no longer see or talk to each other?
What! whilst the most tender sentiments unite us, shall a vain terror be able to separate us, perhaps, for ever! Shall tender friendship and ardent love in vain endeavour to assert their rights, and their voices remain unattended to! And why? what is this very urgent danger which threatens you? Ah! believe me, such fears, and fears taken up so lightly, are in themselves sufficiently powerful motives for your considering yourself in a state of security.
What! While the most heartfelt feelings bring us together, can a pointless fear really tear us apart, maybe even forever? Can genuine friendship and passionate love struggle in vain to claim their place, only to have their voices ignored? And why is that? What exactly is this urgent threat that you face? Ah! Trust me, such fears, especially ones taken so lightly, are strong enough reasons for you to feel secure.
Permit me to tell you, I can here trace again the unfavourable impressions which have been made upon you with regard to me. No woman trembles at the man she esteems. No woman banishes him in a marked manner, whom she has thought worthy of some degree of friendship. It is the dangerous man who is feared and fled.
Permit me to tell you, I can clearly see the negative impressions you've formed about me. No woman is afraid of a man she respects. No woman deliberately pushes away someone she considers worthy of at least some level of friendship. It's the dangerous man who is feared and avoided.
And yet, was there ever a person more respectful and submissive than I? You must perceive it. Guarded in my language, I no longer permit myself those appellations so sweet, so dear to my heart, and which that heart unceasingly applies to you secretly. It is no longer the faithful and unfortunate lover receiving the advice and consolation of a tender and feeling female friend. I am in the situation of the accused before his judge, of the slave before his lord. These new titles certainly impose on me duties: I bind myself to fulfil them all. Hear me, and if you condemn me, I subscribe to my sentence and depart. I will go farther. Do you prefer that despotism which decides without a hearing? Do you feel boldness enough to commit an act of injustice? Give your orders; you shall be obeyed.
And yet, was there ever someone more respectful and submissive than I? You have to see it. I’ve become careful with my words; I no longer allow myself those endearing names that mean so much to me, and which my heart secretly continues to use for you. It's no longer the loyal and unfortunate lover seeking advice and comfort from a caring female friend. I find myself in the position of the accused before their judge, of the slave before their master. These new titles definitely come with responsibilities: I commit to fulfilling them all. Listen to me, and if you judge me, I’ll accept my fate and leave. I’ll go even further. Do you prefer that tyranny that makes decisions without listening? Do you feel brave enough to commit an injustice? Give your orders; I will obey.
But let me have this sentence or order from your mouth. But why? You will tell me in your turn. Ah! if you put such a question, you are a stranger to love and to my heart. Is it nothing to see you? I repeat it again. Even when you shall strike despair to my soul, perhaps a consoling glance will prevent its sinking. In a word; if I must renounce love and friendship, the only props of my existence, at least you will behold your works, and I shall engage your compassion. Though I should not even deserve this small favour, I think I submit to pay dearly enough for it, to give me hopes of obtaining it. What, you are about to banish me from you! You can consent, then, that we should become utter strangers to one another! What do I say? It is the wish of your heart; and whilst you assure me that my absence shall not prejudice me in your sentiments, you only hasten my departure, in order more securely to effect their destruction, which you begin even now, by talking of substituting gratitude in their place. Thus you offer me only that sentiment which a stranger would inspire you with for a slight service; that kind of sentiment which you would feel for an enemy desisting from premeditated injury; and you expect my heart to be content with this. Interrogate your own. If a lover, a friend, should ever come to talk to you of gratitude, would you not say to him with indignation, Withdraw, you are a worthless man?
But let me hear this sentence or command from you. But why? You’ll tell me in your turn. Ah! if you ask such a question, you don’t understand love or my heart. Is seeing you nothing? I’ll say it again. Even when you plunge my soul into despair, maybe a reassuring glance will stop it from sinking. In short, if I have to give up love and friendship, the only things keeping me going, at least you’ll see your effects, and I’ll earn your compassion. Even if I don’t deserve this small favor, I feel like I’m paying a high enough price for it to give me hope of getting it. What, you’re about to banish me from you! You can agree that we should become complete strangers to each other! What am I saying? It’s what you really want; and while you assure me that my absence won’t change your feelings for me, you’re just speeding up my departure to more securely bring about their end, which you’re starting right now by talking about replacing them with gratitude. So you’re offering me only that feeling a stranger would have for you after a small favor; that kind of feeling you’d have for an enemy who backs down from a planned attack; and you expect my heart to be okay with this. Question your own feelings. If a lover or a friend ever came to talk to you about gratitude, wouldn’t you say to him in anger, Go away, you’re a worthless person?
I shall here stop, and repeat my requests of your indulgence. Pardon the expressions of grief of which you are the cause; they shall not interfere with my perfect submission: but I conjure you in turn, in the name of those tender sentiments which you yourself resort to with me, refuse not to hear; and from mere compassion for the aggravated distress you have plunged me in, defer not the moment in which you will condescend to hear me. Adieu, Madam!
I will stop here and ask for your understanding once again. Please forgive my expressions of sorrow, which you have caused; they won’t affect my complete submission. But I urge you, in the name of those feelings you’ve shared with me, please don’t turn a deaf ear; out of compassion for the deep distress you’ve put me in, don’t delay the moment when you will graciously listen to me. Goodbye, Madam!
From ——, Sept. 7, 17—, at night.
From ——, Sept. 7, 17—, in the evening.
LETTER XCII.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
Chevalier Danceny to the Viscount de Valmont.
Your letter, my dear friend, has overwhelmed me with sorrow. Heavens! Is it possible Cecilia no longer loves her Danceny! Yes, I plainly see it through the veil your friendship has thrown over it. You wished to prepare me for this mortal stab; I thank you for your care: but a lover it not thus to be deceived; he anticipates his concerns; he is not to learn his fate, he presages it. I have no longer any doubt of mine. I entreat you to inform me, without evasion, from whence your suspicions arise, and what confirms them; the most minute trifles are important. Recollect particularly her expressions. A word may alter a phrase, or bear a double meaning. You may have mistaken her.
Your letter, my dear friend, has filled me with sadness. Wow! Is it possible that Cecilia no longer loves Danceny? Yes, I can clearly see it through the veil of your friendship. You wanted to prepare me for this heartbreaking reality; I appreciate your concern. But a lover is not meant to be deceived like this; he senses his situation ahead of time; he's not meant to learn his fate; he anticipates it. I have no doubt about mine anymore. I beg you to tell me, without holding back, where your suspicions come from and what confirms them; even the smallest details are crucial. Pay particular attention to her words. A single word can change a phrase or have a double meaning. You might have misunderstood her.
Alas, I endeavour still to flatter myself. What did she say? Has she any thing to reproach me with? Does she not attempt to excuse herself? I might have foreseen this alteration by all the difficulties she has lately started. Love admits no obstacles.
Alas, I still try to flatter myself. What did she say? Does she have anything to blame me for? Isn't she trying to make excuses? I could have seen this change coming with all the difficulties she's brought up lately. Love has no barriers.
What am I to do? What would you advise me to? Is it then impossible to see her? Absence is such a dreadful, such a fatal—and she refuses the means you proposed to see me! You don’t, however, tell me what it was; if it really was dangerous, she is convinced I would not have her run a great risk: however, I am satisfied of your prudence, and pay no regard to any other consideration.
What should I do? What would you suggest? Is it really impossible to see her? Being apart is so awful, so devastating—and she won't take the steps you suggested to meet me! But you haven’t told me what that was; if it was genuinely dangerous, she believes I wouldn't let her take such a big risk. Still, I trust your judgment and don't care about anything else.
What will now become of me? How shall I write to her? If I hint my suspicions, she will probably be grieved; and should they be ill grounded, how shall I ever forgive myself for having given her cause for affliction? If I conceal them, it is deceiving her, and I cannot dissemble it.
What’s going to happen to me now? How should I write to her? If I share my suspicions, she’ll likely be upset; and if I’m wrong, how will I ever forgive myself for giving her a reason to be hurt? If I hide them, that’s deceiving her, and I can’t pretend otherwise.
Oh! could she but know what I suffer, my distress would move her, for she is tender, has a most excellent heart, and I have a thousand proofs of her affection. Too much timidity, some distress, she is young, and her mother treats her so severely. I will write to her; yet I will contain myself, and will only beg of her to leave the management of every thing to you. If she should even still refuse, she cannot at least be angry with me, and perhaps she may consent.
Oh! If she only knew what I’m going through, my pain would affect her because she’s caring, has a wonderful heart, and I have so many reasons to believe in her affection. She’s a bit timid and stressed; she’s young, and her mother is really tough on her. I’ll write to her; still, I’ll hold back and just ask her to leave everything in your hands. Even if she still says no, she can’t be mad at me, and maybe she’ll agree.
I beg ten thousand pardons, my dear friend, both for her and myself. Give me leave to assure you, she is very sensible of the trouble you have had, and is exceedingly grateful. It is not distrust, it is merely timidity. Have a little compassion for her weakness, the highest attribute of friendship. Yours to me is inestimable, and I am really at a loss how to express my gratitude. Adieu! I am just going to write to her.
I sincerely apologize, my dear friend, on behalf of both her and myself. Let me assure you that she truly appreciates the trouble you’ve gone through and is extremely grateful. It’s not a matter of distrust; it’s simply her shyness. Please show a bit of understanding for her vulnerability, which is the greatest quality of friendship. Your support means the world to me, and I honestly don’t know how to express my thanks. Goodbye! I’m about to write to her.
All my fears return on me. I could not have believed yesterday, when it would have been my greatest happiness, that I should now experience so much distress in writing to her.
All my fears come back to me. I never thought yesterday, when it would have made me the happiest, that I would now feel so much distress in writing to her.
Adieu, my dear friend! continue your friendship, and compassionate me.
Goodbye, my dear friend! Keep up your friendship, and have compassion for me.
Paris, Sept. 27, 17—.
Paris, Sept. 27, 1717—.
LETTER XCIII.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to CECILIA VOLANGES.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to CECILIA VOLANGES.
I cannot conceal my affliction at hearing from Valmont how much you still distrust him. You know he is my friend, and the only person who can give us an opportunity of seeing each other: I fondly imagined this would have been a sufficient recommendation, but am very sorry to find I am mistaken. May I, however, hope to know your reasons? There are, perhaps, some obstacles that prevent you; I cannot, however, without your aid, guess at this mysterious conduct. I dare not entertain any suspicion of your affection, neither would you deceive mine. Ah, Cecilia!
I can't hide my sadness in hearing from Valmont how much you still distrust him. You know he's my friend and the only person who can help us see each other. I naively thought that would be enough for you, but I'm really sorry to find out I was wrong. Can I hope to understand your reasons? There might be some obstacles in your way; however, I can't figure out this puzzling behavior without your help. I would never doubt your feelings, and you wouldn't want to hurt mine. Oh, Cecilia!
It is, then, past a doubt, that you have refused an easy, commodious, and safe way[1] of seeing me. And is it thus I am beloved? Has so short an absence altered your sentiments?—Why, then, deceive me? Why tell me you still love me, and even still more? Has your mama, by destroying your affection for me, also destroyed your candour?—If, however, she has not left you destitute of compassion, you will feel for the pangs you occasion me, which death cannot even equal.
It’s clear that you’ve turned down an easy, comfortable, and safe way[1] to see me. Is this really how I’m loved? Has such a short time apart changed your feelings?—Then why mislead me? Why tell me you still love me, and even more? Has your mom, by ruining your love for me, also taken away your honesty?—If she hasn’t completely made you incapable of feeling compassion, you must understand the pain you’ve caused me, a pain that even death can’t match.
Tell me, then, have I for ever lost your heart? Am I totally forgotten? I know not when you will hear my complaints, nor when they will be answered. Valmont’s friendship had secured our correspondence, but you rejected it; you thought it troublesome; it was too frequent. Never more will I confide in love or in promises. Who is to be believed, when Cecilia deceives me?
Tell me, then, have I completely lost your heart? Am I totally forgotten? I don’t know when you’ll hear my complaints or when they will be answered. Valmont’s friendship had made our correspondence possible, but you turned it down; you found it annoying; it was too often. I will never trust in love or promises again. Who can I believe when Cecilia betrays me?
Am I no longer, then, your beloved Danceny? No, that is not possible; you deceive your own heart. A transitory apprehension, a momentary gloom, causes my present distress, which love will soon dispel: is it not so, my adorable Cecilia? Yes, it is, and I am much to blame for accusing you. How happy shall I be to discover my error, and repair it by soothing apologies and never-ending love.
Am I no longer your beloved Danceny? No, that can't be true; you're fooling yourself. It's just a fleeting worry, a moment of sadness, causing my current distress, which love will soon chase away: isn't that right, my wonderful Cecilia? Yes, it is, and I’m sorry for blaming you. I’ll be so happy to realize I was wrong and make it up to you with sincere apologies and endless love.
Cecilia, lovely Cecilia, take pity on me; consent to see me; form the plan yourself: this is the consequence of absence; fears, doubts, and perhaps coolness. One single glance, a word only, and we shall be happy. But why mention happiness? Mine is, perhaps, at an end, and that for ever. Tortured with apprehensions, suspended between doubts and fears, I cannot form a resolution. My existence depends on love and sufferings: You alone, my Cecilia, are the arbitress of my fate; you alone can decide on my happiness or misery.
Cecilia, beautiful Cecilia, have mercy on me; agree to meet me; you can plan it yourself: this is what happens when we're apart; fears, doubts, and maybe even indifference. Just one glance, a single word, and we could be happy. But why bring up happiness? Mine might be over, maybe forever. Tormented by worries, caught between doubts and fears, I can’t make a decision. My life relies on love and pain: only you, my Cecilia, hold the power over my destiny; only you can choose whether I'm happy or miserable.
Paris, Sept. 27, 17—.
Paris, Sept. 27, 1717—.
LETTER XCIV.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
I cannot conceive a word of your letter,——it gives me much uneasiness. What, then, has M. de Valmont wrote to you? Can you think I no longer love you? Perhaps it would be much better for me if it was otherwise, for I should not be so tormented as I am; it is really hard, that, loving as I do, you should always think me wrong; and instead of receiving consolation in my afflictions, the cause of all my troubles should proceed from you. You imagine I deceive and misrepresent matters to you. Upon my word you have a good opinion of me: But even suppose it the case, what would it avail me? Certainly, if I ceas’d loving you, all my friends would be glad of it; but it is my misfortune I cannot, and must love a man who is not in the least obliged to me.
I can't understand a word of your letter—it really worries me. So, what has M. de Valmont written to you? Do you think I don't love you anymore? Maybe it would be easier for me if that were true, because then I wouldn't be suffering so much. It's really tough that, despite my love for you, you always think I'm in the wrong. Instead of finding comfort in my struggles, the source of all my pain comes from you. You think I lie and distort things for you. Honestly, you have a high opinion of me! But even if that were true, what would it change for me? Of course, if I stopped loving you, all my friends would celebrate, but unfortunately, I can't help it—I still love a man who has no obligation to me at all.
What have I done, then, to put you so much out of temper? I was afraid to take a key, lest my mama should discover it, and bring more trouble on you and me; moreover, I did not think it right. How did I know whether I was acting right or wrong, as you knew nothing of the matter, and it was Mr. Valmont only that mentioned it? Now that I know you would wish me to do it, I will take it to-morrow; then, I suppose, you will be satisfied—Mr. de Valmont may be your friend, for ought I know, but I think I love you at well as he does, at least; and yet he is always right, and I am wrong.—I assure you, I am very angry; however, that gives you no great uneasiness, as you know I am soon pacified: when I have the key, I can see you whenever I please: if you behave in this manner, though, I will not wish for it; I can better bear my own troubles than those you bring on me.
What have I done to make you so upset? I was worried about taking a key because I didn't want my mom to find out and cause more problems for both of us; plus, I didn’t think it was right. How was I supposed to know if I was doing the right thing or not when you didn’t know anything about it, and it was only Mr. Valmont who mentioned it? Now that I see you want me to take it, I'll get it tomorrow; then I guess you'll be happy. Mr. de Valmont might be your friend, but I think I love you just as much as he does, at least; yet he’s always right, and I’m always wrong. I assure you, I’m really angry; but that doesn’t seem to bother you much since you know I get over things quickly. Once I have the key, I can see you whenever I want. However, if you keep acting this way, I won’t even want it; I can handle my own problems better than the ones you cause me.
We might be happy still, only for the little disagreeable occurrences thrown in our way; if I was my own mistress, you would have no reason to complain: But, if you will not believe me, we shall always be very miserable; yet it shall not be my fault. I hope we shall soon see each other, and then shall have no reason to be so tormented as we are now.
We might still be happy if it weren't for the little annoying things that keep getting in our way. If I were my own boss, you wouldn’t have any reason to complain. But if you won’t believe me, we’ll always be really unhappy; however, it won’t be my fault. I hope we can see each other soon, and then we won’t have to feel as tortured as we do now.
Could I have foreseen all this, the key should have been in my possession; but, indeed, I thought I was doing right. Do not be angry with me, I beg of you. Don’t afflict yourself any more, and love me as much as I love you; then I shall be happy. Adieu, my dear friend.
Could I have predicted all of this, I should have had the key; but honestly, I thought I was doing the right thing. Please don’t be angry with me, I’m asking you. Don’t torment yourself any longer, and love me as much as I love you; then I’ll be happy. Goodbye, my dear friend.
From the castle of ——, Sept. 28, 17—.
From the castle of ——, Sept. 28, 17—.
LETTER XCV.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
SIR,
SIR,
I beg you will return me the key you gave me to put in the place of the other; since it must be so, I must agree to it.
I kindly ask you to give me back the key you gave me to replace the other one; since it has to be this way, I have to accept it.
I don’t know why you should write to Mr. Danceny, I did not love him: I don’t think I ever gave you any reason to say so; it has given us both a great deal of uneasiness:—I know you have a friendship for him, therefore should not fret him nor me neither. I should be much obliged to you if, when you write to him next, you would assure him of the contrary; for he reposes his confidence in you: nothing gives me so much trouble as not to be believed when I say a thing.
I don’t know why you’d want to write to Mr. Danceny; I never loved him. I don’t think I ever gave you any reason to think that. It’s caused us both a lot of discomfort. I know you’re friends with him, so please don’t upset him or me. I’d really appreciate it if, when you write to him next, you could reassure him that it’s not true, because he trusts you. Nothing stresses me out more than not being believed when I say something.
As to the key, you may make yourself perfectly easy; I remember all you wrote me very well; but if you have your letter still by you, and will give it to me at the same time, I assure you I shall take particular notice of it. If you contrive to give it me to-morrow as we go to dinner, I would give you the other key the day after at breakfast, and you could return it to me in the same way you did the first. Pray do not defer it any longer, as we ought not to give Mama an opportunity to discover it.
As for the key, you can relax; I remember everything you wrote me very well. But if you still have your letter, and can give it to me at the same time, I promise I’ll pay special attention to it. If you manage to hand it to me tomorrow as we head to dinner, I’ll give you the other key the next day at breakfast, and you can return it to me the same way you did the first time. Please don’t wait any longer, as we really shouldn’t give Mom a chance to find out.
When you have once got possession of the key, you will be so good to make use of it to take my letters; and by this means Mr. Danceny will oftener hear from me, which will be much more convenient than at present. I was a good deal frightened at first, which I hope you will be so good to excuse; and that you will, nevertheless, continue your friendship as heretofore: you may depend on my gratitude.
When you have the key, please use it to collect my letters. This way, Mr. Danceny will hear from me more often, which will be way more convenient than it is now. I was pretty scared at first, which I hope you can forgive. Still, I hope you'll continue to be my friend like before; you can count on my gratitude.
I have the honour to be, SIR, Your most obedient Humble Servant.
I am honored to be, Sir, Your most obedient humble servant.
Sept. 28, 17—.
Sept. 28, 17—.
LETTER XCVI.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
I dare say, you have been in daily expectation of my compliments and eulogiums on your adventure; I even make no doubt but my long silence may have put you a little out of temper: But to sum up all, I will freely own I have ever thought, that when one had nothing but praise to offer a woman, he might safely trust to herself, and employ his time on other matters. Yet I must thank you for my share in it, and congratulate you on your own. I will even, for this once, to make you perfectly happy, agree you have much surpassed my expectations. And now let us see, whether, on my side, I have not partly fulfilled yours.
I must say, you've probably been waiting for my compliments and praise about your adventure every day; I’m sure my long silence has made you a bit frustrated. But to sum it all up, I have to admit I've always believed that when someone has nothing but compliments to give a woman, they can safely leave it to her and focus on other things. Still, I do want to thank you for my part in it and congratulate you on yours. To make you fully happy this time, I’ll agree that you’ve exceeded my expectations. Now let’s see if I have, in some way, met yours.
Madame de Tourvel is not the subject we are now on; her slow proceedings do not meet your approbation; you like to hear of business done; long-spun scenes disgust you; but I never before experienced the pleasure I do now in those pretended delays.
Madame de Tourvel isn't our focus right now; her gradual actions don't earn your approval; you prefer to hear about things getting done; drawn-out situations annoy you; but I've never felt the enjoyment I do now in those fake delays.
Yes, I enjoy it; to see this prudent woman, entangled imperceptibly in a path from whence she cannot return; whose rapid and dangerous declivity hurries her on against her will, and forces her to follow me—then, frightened at the danger, would, but cannot stop;—her anxiety and wariness make her steps slow, but still they must succeed each other. Sometimes, not daring to view the danger, she shuts her eyes, and abandons herself to my care. New dreads often reanimate her efforts; and, in her grievous fright, she again endeavours to return, wastes her strength to climb painfully a short space; and soon, by a magic power, finds herself nearer the danger she vainly endeavoured to fly. Then, having no other guide or support but me, without thinking any longer of reproaching me with her inevitable fall, she implores me to protract it. Fervent prayers, humble supplications, all that terrified mortals offer up to the Divinity, I receive from her; and you would have me be deaf to her vows, to destroy the worship she renders me, and employ the power she invokes to support her, in hurling her into destruction. Let me at least have time to contemplate this affecting struggle between love and virtue.
Yes, I enjoy it; watching this cautious woman, subtly trapped on a path from which she can't turn back; whose quick and perilous descent pushes her forward against her will, forcing her to follow me—then, scared by the danger, she would stop but can't;—her anxiety and caution slow her down, yet she has to keep moving forward. Sometimes, not daring to face the danger, she closes her eyes and surrenders herself to me. New fears often spur her efforts back to life; and in her terrible fright, she tries to turn back, exhausting herself to climb a short distance; and soon, by some strange force, finds herself closer to the danger she futilely tried to escape. Then, with no other guide or support but me, without thinking anymore of blaming me for her inevitable fall, she begs me to delay it. Passionate prayers, humble pleas, everything terrified souls offer to the Divine, I receive from her; and you would have me ignore her vows, to destroy the devotion she shows me, using the power she calls upon to support her, to push her into ruin. Let me at least have time to witness this moving struggle between love and virtue.
Is not this, then, the exhibition you fly to at the theatre with so much avidity, and applaud with so much ardour? And do you imagine it can be less endearing in realizing it?—The sentiments of a pure and tender heart, which dreads the happiness it wishes, and ceases not to defend itself when it even ceases to resist, you enthusiastically admire: And pray, is the ruling principle of this great work to be rejected?
Isn't this the show that you rush to see at the theater with such excitement, and cheer for so passionately? And do you really think it can be any less appealing when it becomes real?—The feelings of a pure and loving heart, which fears the happiness it desires, and can't stop protecting itself even when it stops fighting back, you admire enthusiastically: And tell me, should the main idea of this great work be dismissed?
Yet, those are the delicious enjoyments this celestial woman daily offers me, and you reproach me for relishing them. Alas! the time will come too soon when, degraded by her fall, I shall view her with as much indifference as another.
Yet, those are the delightful pleasures this heavenly woman offers me every day, and you criticize me for enjoying them. Sadly, the time will come too soon when, brought low by her fall, I will regard her with as much indifference as anyone else.
But I wander; for, speaking of her, I forget that I did not intend even to mention her. An unknown power impels me, and incessantly recalls her to me when I am even injuring her: let me banish this dangerous idea, be myself again, and entertain you with a more agreeable adventure. Your late pupil, now become mine, shall be the subject; and now, I hope, you’ll again know your friend.
But I digress; talking about her makes me forget that I didn’t plan to mention her at all. An unknown force drives me, constantly bringing her to mind, even when I'm causing her harm. Let me get rid of this troubling thought, return to myself, and share a more enjoyable story with you. Your recent student, now mine, will be the focus; and I hope you’ll recognize your friend again.
Having, for a few days past, been more gently treated by my charming devotee, and consequently more disengaged, I observed the little Volanges was really handsome; and that if it was ridiculous in Danceny to be in love with her, it would be no less so in me not to embrace a dissipation that my solitude called for. I even thought it an act of justice, to repay myself for the trouble I had had with her: I recollected, also, that you offered her to me before Danceny had any pretensions to her; and thought myself well grounded in asserting certain rights, which he claimed only from my refusal and abdication. The engaging mien of the little creature, her pretty mouth, her childish air, even her awkwardness, strengthened those sage reflections. I determined to act conformably, and success has crown’d the enterprise. I think I see you all impatience to know how I supplanted the cherished lover, the seducing arts fit to be employed for such a tender age, and so unexperienced: spare yourself the trouble, for I employed none.—Whilst you, managing with dexterity the arms of your sex, triumph by artifice, I, in a manly way, subdue by authority,—sure of my prey, if I can close with it. I had no occasion for dissimulation, but to get it within my reach, and that I made use of scarcely deserves the name.
Having been treated more gently by my charming admirer for the past few days and feeling less distracted, I noticed that the little Volanges was really beautiful. If it seemed silly for Danceny to be in love with her, it would be just as silly for me not to pursue a distraction that my solitude was calling for. I even thought it was only fair to reward myself for the effort I had put in with her: I remembered that you offered her to me before Danceny had any interest in her, and I felt justified in claiming certain rights that he only pursued because I had turned her down. The charming appearance of the little girl, her lovely smile, her youthful demeanor, even her clumsiness, only reinforced those thoughtful reflections. I decided to go for it, and the effort was successful. I can imagine you all eagerly wanting to know how I got ahead of the beloved suitor, the tempting methods suitable for someone so young and inexperienced: spare yourself the effort, because I didn’t use any. While you skillfully wield the tools of your gender, triumphing through trickery, I conquer through authority—confident of my prize if I can just grasp it. I didn’t need to be deceitful, just to get it within my reach, and what I did barely counts as that.
I took the advantage of the first letter Danceny wrote to his fair one, and, after having made the signal agreed on, instead of employing my address to deliver it, I contriv’d obstacles to prevent it; and, feigning a share in the impatience this excited, pointed out the remedy after causing the evil.
I took advantage of the first letter Danceny wrote to his beloved, and after making the agreed-upon signal, instead of using my skills to deliver it, I created obstacles to stop it; and, pretending to share in the impatience this caused, I suggested a solution after causing the issue.
The young thing is lodged in an apartment that opens into the gallery, and the mother, very properly, keeps the key. Nothing, then, was wanting but to get possession of the key, and nothing more easy in the execution: I asked for it for two hours, only to have another made by it: then correspondence, interviews, nocturnal rendezvous, all were convenient and safe: but, would you believe it, the timid child was frightened, and refused. Any other would have been driven to despair: to me it was a more poignant pleasure. I wrote to Danceny, complaining of this denial; and was so successful, that the thoughtless youth urged, nay even exacted of his timid mistress, that she should agree to my request, and give herself up to my discretion.
The young girl is staying in an apartment that leads to the gallery, and her mother rightly keeps the key. So, all I needed was to get the key, which would be easy to do: I just asked for it for two hours, just to get a copy made. Then we arranged correspondence, meetings, and late-night get-togethers—all convenient and safe. But, believe it or not, the shy girl got scared and refused. Anyone else would have been driven to desperation; for me, it was a more intense pleasure. I wrote to Danceny, expressing my frustration about this refusal, and was so persuasive that the careless young man pressured, even insisted, that his timid girlfriend agree to my request and surrender herself to my control.
I must own myself well pleased to change my character, and that the young man should do for me what he expected I was to do for him. This idea enhanc’d the value of the adventure; and, as soon as I got possession of the delicious key, I lost no time:—it was last night.
I have to admit I was really glad to change my character, and that the young man would do for me what he thought I should do for him. This thought made the adventure even more exciting; and as soon as I got hold of the amazing key, I didn’t waste any time:—it was last night.
When I was assured all were at rest in the Castle, taking my dark lantern, and in a proper toilette for the hour and circumstance, I paid my first visit to your pupil. Every thing had been prepared (and that by herself) to prevent noise: she was in her first sleep, so that I was by her bed side without awaking her. I was at first tempted to go on farther, and make every thing pass for a dream; but dreading the effects of a surprise, and the consequences naturally attendant, I chose to awake the pretty sleeper cautiously, which I effected without the alarm I dreaded.
When I was sure everyone was asleep in the Castle, I grabbed my dark lantern, dressed appropriately for the time and situation, and went to see your student. Everything had been set up (and she did it all herself) to keep things quiet: she was in a light sleep, so I was able to stand by her bedside without waking her. At first, I thought about going further and making everything seem like a dream; but worried about the effect of a sudden shock and the possible consequences, I decided to wake the beautiful sleeper gently, which I managed to do without causing the alarm I feared.
After having calmed her first fears, as I did not come there to chat, I ventured to take some liberties: they did not, certainly, inform her in the convent, to how many different dangers timid innocence is exposed, and all that she had to take care of to guard against a surprise; for, using all her strength to prevent a kiss, which was only a false attack, she left all the rest defenceless: how was it possible to resist the temptation?—I then changed my attack, and immediately took possession of the post. At that instant we had both like to be undone; the little girl, scared, was in earnest going to cry out; happily, her voice was stifled with her tears: she flung herself, also, on the string of the bell, but I held her arm opportunely.
After calming her initial fears, since I wasn't there to chat, I decided to take some liberties. They definitely didn't warn her in the convent about the many different dangers that naive innocence faces, or everything she needed to be careful about to avoid surprises. By using all her strength to fend off a kiss, which was just a feigned attack, she left herself open to everything else. How could she resist the temptation? I then changed my approach and quickly took control. At that moment, we both nearly fell apart; the little girl, frightened, was about to scream. Luckily, her voice was muffled by her tears. She also reached for the bell rope, but I grabbed her arm just in time.
“What are you about? (then said I) Will you ruin yourself for ever? Do you think you will be able to persuade any one that I am here without your consent? Who but yourself could supply me the means of getting in?—And this key that I had from you, which I could not have from any one else, will you take it upon you to tell the use it was designed for?”—This short speech did not calm either grief or anger, but it brought on submission. I don’t know whether I had the tone of eloquence, but certain I am I had not the action: one hand employed for strength, the other for love, what orator could pretend to gracefulness in such a situation? If you conceive it right, you must own, at least, it was very favourable for the attack: but I know nothing; and, as you say, the simplest creature, a boarding school girl, would lead me like a child.
“What are you doing? (then I said) Are you going to ruin yourself forever? Do you really think you can convince anyone that I’m here without your permission? Who else could have helped me get in?—And this key you gave me, which I couldn’t have gotten from anyone else, are you going to explain what it was meant for?”—This brief speech didn’t ease either my sorrow or anger, but it did lead to acceptance. I’m not sure if I had an eloquent tone, but I definitely lacked the graceful gesture: one hand used for strength, the other for love—what kind of speaker could appear graceful in such a moment? If you think it’s appropriate, you have to admit, at least, it was quite favorable for the confrontation: but I know nothing; and, as you say, even the simplest person, like a boarding school girl, could lead me around like a child.
She was in the utmost affliction, but felt the necessity of coming to some resolution, and entering into a composition. Being inexorable to prayers, she proceeded to offers: you think, perhaps. I sold this important post very dear; by no means; I promised every thing for a kiss; however, the kiss taken, I did not keep my word; my reasons were good: it had not been agreed whether it should be given or taken; by dint of bargaining we agreed on a second, and that was to be received; then guiding her trembling arms round me, and pressing her with one of mine more amorously, the soft kiss was not only received, but perfectly received in such a manner, that love could not have done it better.—So much plain dealing deserved to be rewarded, and I immediately granted the request: the hand was withdrawn, but, I don’t know by what accident, I found myself in its place. You now suppose me very alert, and in great haste, don’t you?—Not in the least; I have already told you I delight in delays: when one is once certain of coming to the end of the journey, what occasion for haste?
She was extremely upset, but felt the need to come to some decision and come to an agreement. Being unyielding to pleas, she moved on to offers: you might think I sold this important position for a lot; not at all; I promised everything for a kiss; however, once the kiss was taken, I didn’t keep my word; my reasons were valid: it hadn’t been decided whether it would be given or taken; after some negotiation, we agreed on a second kiss, and that one was to be received; then, wrapping her trembling arms around me and holding her more affectionately with one of mine, the gentle kiss was not only received but perfectly so, in a way that love couldn’t have done any better. Such honesty deserved to be rewarded, and I immediately granted the request: her hand was pulled back, but somehow I found myself in its place. You must think I’m very alert and in a big hurry, right?—Not at all; I’ve already told you I enjoy delays: when you’re certain of reaching the end of the journey, what’s the rush?
Seriously, I was glad, for once, to observe the power of opportunity; and it was here divested of all foreign aid. She had, however, love to combat with; and love, supported by modesty and shame, strengthened by the bad humour I had put her in. There was nothing in my favour but opportunity;—it was there, always ready, always present, and love absent.
Seriously, I was actually happy, for once, to see the power of opportunity; and it was here without any outside help. However, she had love to deal with; and love, backed by modesty and shame, was made stronger by the bad mood I had put her in. The only thing in my favor was opportunity; it was there, always ready, always available, and love was nowhere to be found.
To be certain in my observations, I was so mischievous to employ no more force than what could be easily combated: only, if my charming enemy, abusing my condescension, attempted to escape me, I kept her in awe, by the same dread whose happy effects I had already experienced.—At length the tender, lovely girl, without farther trouble, first complied, and then consented: not but that, after the first moment, reproaches and tears returned together—I can’t tell whether true or feigned; but, as it always happens, they ceased as soon as I began to give fresh cause for them. At last, from weakness to reproach, and from reproach to weakness, we separated, perfectly satisfied with each other, and equally agreed for the rendezvous this night.
To be sure of my observations, I was clever enough to use only as much force as could be easily countered: however, if my charming adversary, taking advantage of my kindness, tried to get away from me, I kept her on edge with the same fear whose positive effects I had already seen. Eventually, the sweet, beautiful girl, without much more trouble, first agreed, and then consented: although, after the initial moment, accusations and tears came back together—I can’t say if they were genuine or not; but, as always happens, they stopped as soon as I started giving her new reasons for them. Finally, moving from weakness to reproach, and from reproach to weakness, we parted, completely satisfied with each other, and equally agreed to meet again tonight.
I retired to my apartment at the dawn of day, quite exhausted with fatigue and sleep; yet I sacrificed one and the other to my inclination to be at breakfast in the morning. I am passionately fond of the next day’s exhibition. You cannot conceive any thing like this. It was a confusion in the countenance, a difficulty in the walk, dejected eyes so swelled, and the round visage so lengthened, nothing could be so grotesque; and the mother, for the first time, alarmed at this sudden alteration, seemed to show a deal of affection for her; and the Presidente also, who seemed to be much concerned for her. As to her cares, they are only lent; for the day will come, and it is not far off, when they may be returned to her.
I headed back to my apartment at daybreak, completely worn out from fatigue and lack of sleep; still, I sacrificed both to my desire to have breakfast in the morning. I'm really excited about tomorrow's exhibition. You can't imagine anything like it. There was a mix of confusion on her face, a struggle in her step, sad eyes so puffy, and her round face looked stretched out; it was all so ridiculous. For the first time, her mother, startled by this sudden change, seemed to show a lot of affection for her, and the Presidente also appeared quite worried about her. As for her concerns, they're just temporary; the day will come, and it’s not far off, when they can be given back to her.
Adieu, my lovely friend!
Goodbye, my lovely friend!
Oct. 1, 17—.
Oct. 1, 17—.
LETTER XCVII.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Ah, Madam! I am the most miserable creature on earth; my affliction is very great, indeed. To whom shall I fly for consolation? or who will give me advice in my distress? Mr. de Valmont and Danceny—the very name of Danceny distracts me—How shall I begin? How shall I tell you?—I don’t know how to go about it; my heart is full—I must, however, disburthen myself to some one: and you are the only person in whom I can or dare confide; you have been so kind to me. But I am no longer worthy of your friendship; I will even say, I do not wish for it. Every one here has been uneasy about me, and they only augmented my grief; I am so convinced I am unworthy of it. Rather scold me, abuse me, for I am guilty; yet save me from ruin. If you do not compassionate and advise me, I shall expire of grief.
Ah, Madam! I am the most miserable person on earth; my suffering is truly immense. To whom can I turn for comfort? Who will give me advice in my trouble? Mr. de Valmont and Danceny—the very mention of Danceny drives me insane—How do I even start? How do I tell you?—I don’t know how to express this; my heart is heavy—I must, however, share my burden with someone: and you are the only person I can or dare trust; you have been so kind to me. But I feel I am no longer deserving of your friendship; I will even say, I don’t want it. Everyone here has been worried about me, and that has only added to my pain; I am so sure that I am unworthy of it. Rather scold me, berate me, for I am guilty; yet save me from destruction. If you don’t show me compassion and offer guidance, I will die of sorrow.
I must tell you then—my hand shakes so, I can hardly hold the pen, and I am as red as scarlet; but it is the blush of shame. Well, I will bear it, as the first punishment of my crime. I will relate the whole.
I have to tell you this—my hands are shaking so much that I can barely hold the pen, and I am blushing deeply; but it's the blush of shame. Well, I'll accept it, as the first consequence of my wrongdoing. I'll share the whole story.
I must tell you that Mr. Valmont, who has always hitherto delivered me Mr. Danceny’s letters, on a sudden discovered so much difficulty in it, that he would have the key of my chamber. I assure you, I was very much against it: but he wrote to Danceny about it; and Danceny also insisted on it. It gives me so much pain to refuse him any thing, especially since our absence, which makes him so unhappy, that I consented; not in the least suspecting what would be the consequence.
I have to tell you that Mr. Valmont, who has always brought me Mr. Danceny’s letters, suddenly found it so difficult that he wanted the key to my room. I really didn’t want to agree to it, but he wrote to Danceny about it, and Danceny insisted too. It pains me to say no to him, especially since our separation makes him so unhappy, so I gave in; I had no idea what the outcome would be.
Yesterday Mr. Valmont made use of this key to get into my chamber while I was asleep. I so little expected such a visit, that I was greatly frightened at waking: but as he spoke to me instantly, I knew him, and did not cry out; as I immediately thought he came to bring me a letter from Danceny. No such thing. He wanted to kiss me directly; and while I was struggling, he contrived to do what I would not have suffered for the whole world. But he would have a kiss first; which I was forced to comply with: for what could I do? I endeavoured to call out; but, besides that I could not, he told me, that if any one should come he would throw all the fault on me; which, indeed, was very easy to be done on account of the key. After that, he did not go away any more. Then he would have a second kiss; and I don’t know how that was, but it gave me a strange perturbation; and after that it was still worse. At last, after—but you must excuse me from telling the rest; for I am as unhappy as it is possible. But what I reproach myself most for, and that I can’t help mentioning, is, I am afraid I did not make as much resistance as I could. I can’t tell how it was, for certainly I don’t love Mr. Valmont, but on the contrary; yet there were some moments that I was as if I lov’d him—however, you may well think I always said no: but I was sensible I did not do as I said; and it was as if in spite of me; and I was, moreover, in great trouble. If it is always so hard to defend one’s self, one must be very well used to it. Mr. de Valmont speaks to one in such a way, that one does not know how to answer him: and would you believe it, when he went away I was vexed; and yet I was silly enough to consent to his coming again this night: that afflicts me more than all the rest.
Yesterday, Mr. Valmont used this key to enter my room while I was sleeping. I was so caught off guard by his visit that I was extremely frightened when I woke up; but as he spoke to me right away, I recognized him and didn’t scream, thinking he must have come to deliver a letter from Danceny. That wasn’t the case. Instead, he wanted to kiss me right away, and while I was trying to resist, he managed to do something I wouldn’t have tolerated for the world. But he insisted on a kiss first, and I had no choice but to agree — what could I do? I tried to scream, but not only was I unable to, he warned me that if anyone came, he would blame it all on me; and given the key, it would be very easy for him to do that. After that, he didn’t leave. Then he wanted a second kiss, and I don’t know how it happened, but it left me feeling very unsettled, and after that it got even worse. Finally, after—but I can't share the rest; I'm as unhappy as one can be. What I blame myself for the most, and which I can’t help but mention, is that I'm afraid I didn’t resist as much as I could have. I can’t explain it, because I certainly don’t love Mr. Valmont—in fact, it’s the opposite—but there were moments when I felt as if I loved him. However, I always said no: but I realized I wasn’t acting according to what I said, and it felt like it was happening against my will; and on top of that, I was really distressed. If it’s always so tough to defend oneself, one must be very used to it. Mr. de Valmont speaks in such a way that it leaves you unsure how to respond. And would you believe, when he left, I felt annoyed; yet I was foolish enough to agree to let him come back tonight: that bothers me more than anything else.
Notwithstanding, I promise you I will prevent him from coming. He was hardly gone, but I found I did very wrong to promise him, and I cried all the rest of the time. My greatest trouble is about Danceny. Every time I think of him, my tears almost choke me, and I am always thinking of him—and even now you may see the effect, for the paper is wet with my tears. I shall never be able to get the better of it, if it was only on his account. I was quite exhausted, and yet I could not close my eyes. When I got up, and looked in the glass, I was enough to frighten one, I was so altered.
I promise you, I will make sure he doesn't come. He had barely left, and I realized I was wrong to promise him that, and I cried for the rest of the time. My biggest worry is about Danceny. Every time I think of him, I can barely breathe because I'm crying, and I can't stop thinking about him—and even now you can see the proof, since the paper is soaked with my tears. I’ll never get over it, especially because of him. I was completely drained, yet I still couldn’t sleep. When I got up and looked in the mirror, I was so changed it was frightening.
Mama perceived it as soon as I appeared, and asked me, what was the matter with me? I burst out crying immediately. I thought she would have chid me, and maybe that would not have been so distressing to me; however, it was quite otherwise; she spoke to me with great mildness, which I did not deserve. She desired I would not afflict myself so; but she did not know the cause of my distress; and that I should make myself sick. I often wish I was dead. I could hold out no longer. I flung myself in her arms, sobbing, and told her, “Ah, mama! your daughter is very unhappy.” Mama could no longer contain herself, and wept a little. All this increased my sorrow. Fortunately she did not ask the reason; for if she had, I should not known what to say.
Mama noticed right away when I showed up and asked me what was wrong. I started crying immediately. I thought she might scold me, which might not have hurt as much; but instead, she spoke to me gently, even though I didn’t deserve it. She told me not to upset myself so much; but she didn’t know what was causing my pain, and that I was making myself sick. I often wished I were dead. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I threw myself into her arms, sobbing, and said, “Oh, mama! your daughter is very unhappy.” Mama could no longer hold back her tears, and she cried a little. This only deepened my sadness. Luckily, she didn’t ask why; because if she had, I wouldn’t have known what to say.
I entreat you, dear Madam, to write to me as soon as possible, and inform me how I am to act; for I have no power to think of any thing, my affliction is so great. Please to enclose your letter to Mr. Valmont: but if you write to him at the same time, I entreat you not to mention a word of this.
I urge you, dear Madam, to write to me as soon as you can and let me know what I should do because I'm unable to think clearly due to my enormous distress. Please send your letter to Mr. Valmont as well, but if you write to him at the same time, I ask you not to mention a word of this.
I have the honour to be, with great friendship, Madam, your most humble and obedient servant.
I’m honored to be, with great friendship, Madam, your most humble and obedient servant.
I dare not sign this letter.
I can't bring myself to sign this letter.
Oct. 1, 17—.
Oct. 1, 17—.
LETTER XCVIII.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
A few days ago you applied to me, my charming friend, for advice and consolation; it is now my turn, and I am to make the same request you made to me for myself. I am really in great affliction, and fear I have not taken the proper steps to avoid my present sorrow.
A few days ago, you came to me, my lovely friend, for advice and comfort; now it’s my turn, and I’m asking you for the same help you asked of me. I’m truly struggling and worry that I haven’t done what I needed to do to prevent my current pain.
My uneasiness is on account of my daughter. Since our departure, I observed she was always dejected and melancholy; that I expected, and assumed a severity of behaviour which I judged necessary; flattering myself, that absence and dissipation would soon banish an affection, which I viewed as a childish error, rather than a deep-rooted passion; but I am disappointed in my expectations, and observe she gives way more and more to a dangerous dejection. I am seriously alarmed for her health. These few days past, particularly, there is a visible alteration in her; and yesterday she affected me very much, and alarmed us all.
My uneasiness is because of my daughter. Since we left, I've noticed she’s always down and sad; I expected that and acted more sternly, thinking it was necessary. I convinced myself that being away and keeping busy would soon make her forget about a feeling I saw as a childish mistake rather than a serious passion. But I’m disappointed with my hopes, and I see she’s becoming more and more dangerously depressed. I'm genuinely worried about her health. These past few days, especially, there's been a noticeable change in her; yesterday, she affected me deeply and worried us all.
The strongest proof I have of her being sensibly affected, is because I find that awe she always stood in of me is greatly diminished. Yesterday morning, on my only asking her if she was indisposed, she flung herself in my arms, saying, she was very unhappy, and sobbed and cried piteously. You can’t conceive my grief; my eyes filled immediately; I had scarcely time to turn about, to prevent her seeing me. Fortunately, I had the prudence not to ask her any questions, and she did not venture to say any thing more; nevertheless, I am confident it is this unhappy passion disturbs her.
The strongest proof I have that she’s been genuinely affected is that the awe she always had for me has lessened significantly. Yesterday morning, when I just asked if she was feeling unwell, she threw herself into my arms, saying she was very unhappy, and sobbed and cried desperately. You can’t imagine my grief; my eyes filled with tears right away; I barely had time to turn around to hide it from her. Luckily, I was smart enough not to ask her any questions, and she didn’t say anything else; still, I’m sure it’s this unhappy feeling that’s troubling her.
What resolution to take, if it should last, I know not. Shall I be the cause of my child’s unhappiness? Shall the most delicate sensations of the mind, tenderness and constancy, be employed against her? Is this the duty of a mother? Were I even to stifle the natural inclination that induces us to seek our children’s happiness; should I call that weakness, which I am persuaded is the first, the most sacred duty? Should I force her inclinations, am I not answerable for the dreadful consequences that may ensue? What abuse of my maternal authority would it not be to place my daughter between guilt and misery!
What decision to make, if it should be lasting, I don’t know. Am I going to be the reason for my child's unhappiness? Should the most sensitive feelings of the mind, such as tenderness and loyalty, be used against her? Is this what a mother is supposed to do? Even if I were to suppress the natural instinct that drives us to seek our children's happiness; should I consider that weakness, which I believe is the most important, the most sacred duty? If I force her desires, am I not responsible for the terrible consequences that could follow? What a misuse of my maternal authority it would be to put my daughter in a position between guilt and misery!
My dear friend, I will not imitate what I have so often condemned. I was certainly authorised to choose for my daughter; in that, I only assisted her with my experience: I did not mean to use it as a right; I only fulfilled a duty, which I should have counteracted, had I disposed of her in contempt of an inclination which I could not prevent, the extent and duration of which neither she or I can foresee. No; she shall never marry Gercourt and love Danceny; I will much rather expose my authority than her virtue.
My dear friend, I won't copy what I've often criticized. I definitely had the right to decide for my daughter; I was just using my experience to help her. I didn’t intend to take control; I was just doing my duty, which I would have gone against if I arranged her marriage without respecting her feelings—feelings that neither she nor I can fully understand in terms of how strong or how long they will last. No; she will never marry Gercourt and love Danceny; I'd much rather risk my authority than put her virtue at stake.
I am, then, of opinion, it will be the most prudent way to recall my promise to M. de Gercourt. You have my reasons which, I think, stronger than my promise. I will go farther; for as matters are circumstanced, by fulfilling my engagement I should in reality violate it: for if I am bound to keep my daughter’s secret from M. de Gercourt, I am also bound not to abuse the ignorance I leave him in, and to act for him, as I believe he would act himself, was he better informed. Should I, then, injuriously deceive him, when he reposes his confidence in me, and, whilst he honours me with the title of mother, deceive him in the choice he makes for his children? Those reflections, so just in themselves, and which I cannot withstand, give me more uneasiness than I can express.
I believe it would be wise to withdraw my promise to M. de Gercourt. You know my reasons, which I think are stronger than my commitment. I’ll go further; the way things currently stand, keeping my promise would actually mean breaking it: because if I have to keep my daughter’s secret from M. de Gercourt, I also have to avoid taking advantage of his lack of knowledge and act in a way I believe he would if he were fully informed. Should I really deceive him when he trusts me and, while he honors me with the title of mother, mislead him about the choice he makes for his children? These thoughts, which are so reasonable and that I can’t ignore, cause me more distress than I can express.
In contrast to the misfortunes I dread, I picture to myself my daughter happy in the choice her heart has made, fulfilling her duties with pleasure; my son-in-law, equally satisfied, daily congratulating himself on his choice; each enjoying the other’s happiness, and both uniting to augment mine. Should, then, the prospect of so charming a futurity be sacrificed to vain motives? And what are those that restrain me? Interest only. Where is, then, the advantage of my daughter being born to a large fortune, if she is to be nevertheless the slave to that fortune? I will allow, that M. de Gercourt is, perhaps, a better match than I could have expected for my daughter; I will even own, I was much pleased when he made her his choice: but Danceny is of as good a family as he, and is nothing inferior to him in personal accomplishments; he has, moreover, the advantage over M. de Gercourt of loving and being beloved. He is not rich, it’s true; but my daughter is rich enough for both. Ah! Why should I deprive her the pleasure of making the fortune of the man she loves? Those matches of convenience, as they are called, where certainly every thing is convenient except inclination and disposition, are they not the most fruitful source of those scandalous rumours which are become so frequent? I would much rather defer matters a little. I shall have an opportunity to study my daughter’s disposition, which as yet I am a stranger to. I have resolution enough to give her some temporary uneasiness, in order to make her enjoy some temporary happiness: but I will not risk making her miserable for ever.
In contrast to the troubles I fear, I imagine my daughter happily embracing the choice she’s made, enjoying her responsibilities; my son-in-law, equally content, congratulating himself every day on his decision; each relishing the other's happiness, and both coming together to increase mine. Should I throw away the chance of such a wonderful future for pointless reasons? And what are those reasons holding me back? Just personal gain. What’s the point of my daughter having a large fortune if she’s still going to be a slave to it? I'll admit, M. de Gercourt is probably a better match than I could have hoped for my daughter; I was even pleased when he chose her. But Danceny comes from just as good a family and has just as many personal qualities; plus, he has the advantage over M. de Gercourt of truly loving her and being loved back. It’s true he isn’t wealthy; but my daughter has enough money for both of them. Ah! Why should I take away her chance to help the man she loves? Those so-called matches of convenience—where everything is convenient except for desire and compatibility—aren’t they the main source of those scandalous rumors that have become so common? I’d much rather wait a bit. I’ll get a chance to understand my daughter’s character, which I'm still unfamiliar with. I have enough resolve to create some temporary discomfort for her if it means she’ll experience some temporary joy; but I won’t risk making her miserable forever.
Thus, my dear friend, I have related to you my afflictions, on which I beg your advice. Those severe subjects are a contrast to your amiable gaiety, and seem not at all adapted to your age; but your good sense outstrips your years. Your friendship will also aid your prudence; and I am confident, both will gratify the maternal anxiety that implores them.
Thus, my dear friend, I've shared my struggles with you, and I seek your advice. These serious matters are a sharp contrast to your cheerful disposition and don't seem fitting for someone your age; but your insight exceeds your years. Your friendship will also support your judgment, and I trust both will ease the mother's worry that requests them.
Adieu, my dear friend! never doubt the sincerity of my sentiments.
Goodbye, my dear friend! Never question the honesty of my feelings.
Castle of ——, Oct. 2, 17—.
Castle of ——, Oct. 2, 17—.
LETTER XCIX.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Viscount de Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Trifling events still, my dear friend; nothing of consequence; no action; scenes only; therefore arm yourself with patience: you must take a large dose; for whilst my Presidente goes such a slow pace, your pupil slides back, which is much worse: but I am of that happy temper, I can divert myself with all this nonsense. I really begin to be very comfortable here; and can assure you, I have not experienced a tedious moment in my old aunt’s melancholy castle. What could I wish for more than what I have, enjoyments, privations, hope, and incertitude? What more is to be had on a grand theatre? Why spectators. Ah! a little patience, they will not be wanting. If they do not see me at work, they shall at least see my work completed; they will then have nothing to do but to admire and applaud: for they shall applaud. I can this instant with certainty foretell the moment of my austere devotee’s fall. I this night assisted at the last agonies of her virtue; soft weakness has replaced it. I have fixed its epocha, at farthest, to our next interview: you will call this pride. He announces his victory before he has gained it! Softly; be calm! To give you a proof of my modesty, I will give you the history of my defeat.
Trivial events still, my dear friend; nothing important; no action; just scenes; so prepare yourself with patience: you’re in for a big dose; because while my Presidente moves at such a slow pace, your student is sliding backward, which is much worse. But I have a cheerful disposition; I can entertain myself with all this nonsense. I really am starting to feel quite comfortable here; and I can assure you, I haven't had a dull moment in my old aunt’s gloomy castle. What more could I wish for than what I have—pleasures, hardships, hope, and uncertainty? What more is there on a grand stage? Why, an audience. Ah! A little patience; they won’t be missing. If they don’t see me at work, they will at least see my work finished; then they’ll have nothing to do but admire and applaud: and they will applaud. I can right now confidently predict the moment of my strict devotee’s downfall. Tonight, I witnessed the last struggles of her virtue; soft weakness has taken its place. I’ve set the timeline for this, at the latest, to our next meeting: you might call this arrogance. He declares his victory before achieving it! Easy now; stay calm! To prove my modesty, I will share the story of my defeat.
Upon my word, your little pupil is a most ridiculous being. She is really a child, and should be treated as one; it would be of service to enjoin her a little penance. Would you believe it? after what passed between us the day before yesterday, after the amicable manner in which we parted yesterday morning, I found her door locked on the inside when I came at night, as was agreed. What do you think of that? Those childish tricks are passable on the eve; but on the morrow is it not ridiculous? I did not, however, laugh at first; for never did I feel the ascendancy of my character more hurt. I went to this rendezvous without any incitement for pleasure, and merely through decency; my own bed, which I much wanted at that time, was preferable to any other, and I parted from it with some reluctance; yet when I met this obstacle I was all on fire to surmount it: I was humbled, to be sported with by a child. I was obliged to retire in very bad humour, fully resolved to have nothing more to do with this silly girl, or her matters. I immediately wrote her a note, which I intended giving her this day, wherein I appreciated her as she deserved: but night bringing good counsel, as is said, I reflected this morning, that not having here a choice of dissipations, it was better to keep this, and suppressed my note. Since I have reflected on it, I can’t reconcile it to myself to have had the idea of putting an end to an adventure before I had it in my power to ruin the heroine. What lengths will not a first emotion carry us to! Happy are those, my dear friend, who, like you, never accustom themselves to give way to it. I have deferred my revenge; and this sacrifice I make to your designs on Gercourt.
Honestly, your little student is quite absurd. She really is just a kid and should be treated as such; it would benefit her to have a little discipline. Can you believe it? After everything that happened between us the day before yesterday, after the friendly way we parted yesterday morning, I found her door locked when I returned at night, just as we agreed. What do you think about that? Those childish stunts might be acceptable the night before, but isn't it silly the next day? I didn't laugh at first because I felt my pride was really hurt. I went to this meeting not for fun, but just out of decency; my own bed, which I desperately wanted at that moment, was better than any other, and I left it with some reluctance. Yet, when faced with this barrier, I was determined to overcome it: I felt humiliated to be toyed with by a child. I had to leave in a bad mood, fully decided that I wanted nothing more to do with this silly girl or her issues. I immediately wrote her a note, which I planned to give her today, where I told her exactly what she deserved. But with the night bringing good sense, as they say, I thought this morning that since I don’t have many distractions here, it was better to keep this one, and I held back my note. Now that I’ve thought about it, I can’t justify the idea of ending an adventure before I had the chance to ruin the heroine. What extremes will a first emotion take us to! Lucky are those, my dear friend, like you, who never get used to giving in to it. I have postponed my revenge, and I make this sacrifice for your plans with Gercourt.
Now my wrath is subsided, I only see the ridiculousness of your pupil’s behaviour. I should be fond to know what she expects to gain by it; for my part, I am at a loss: if it should be to make a defence, she is rather late. She must explain this enigma to me one day or other, for I must be satisfied. It is only, perhaps, that she was fatigued; and really that may be the case, for certainly she does not yet know that the shafts of love, like the lance of Achilles, carry with them the remedy for the wounds they give. But no: I will engage by her little mien all day, that there is something like repentance; a something like virtue—virtue, indeed!—she is a pretty creature to pretend to virtue! Ah! she must leave that to the only woman who was truly born for it, knows how to embellish it, and make it revered. Your pardon, my dear friend: but this very evening it was that the scene between Madame de Tourvel and me happened, of which I am about giving you an account, and which has still left me in great emotion. It is not without some violence I endeavour to dissipate the impression it has left on me; it is even to assist it, I sit down to write to you: you must make some allowance for this first impulse.
Now that my anger has cooled down, I can only see the absurdity of your student's behavior. I'm curious about what she hopes to achieve with it; as for me, I'm at a loss. If she wants to defend herself, she's rather late for that. She’ll need to explain this puzzle to me one day because I need an answer. Perhaps she was just tired; that might truly be the case, since she certainly doesn’t realize that the arrows of love, like Achilles' spear, also bring the cure for the wounds they inflict. But no: I can tell by her little manner all day that there’s something like regret there; something resembling virtue—virtue, indeed!—she's quite the character to pretend to have virtue! Ah! She should leave that to the one woman who was truly born for it, who knows how to enhance it and make it admired. Forgive me, my dear friend: but it was just this evening that the scene between Madame de Tourvel and me occurred, which I am about to tell you about, and it has left me quite shaken. I’m trying hard to shake off the impact it has had on me; in fact, I’m writing to you to help me with that: you’ll need to cut me some slack for this initial reaction.
For some days past Madame de Tourvel and I have been agreed about our sentiments, and we no longer dispute on any thing but words. It was always, her friendship that answered my love: but this conventional language made no alteration in the meaning of things. Had we even still remained so, I should not have gone on, perhaps, with so much dispatch, but with no less certainty. There was no longer any thought of putting me from hence, as was at first mentioned; and as to our daily conversations, if I am solicitous to offer opportunities, she takes care not to let them slip.
For the past few days, Madame de Tourvel and I have been in sync about our feelings, and we no longer argue about anything except semantics. It has always been her friendship that responded to my love: but this formal language didn't change the reality of our situation. Even if we had stayed that way, I might not have acted as quickly, but I still would have been just as sure. The idea of pushing me away, as was suggested at first, is no longer a concern; and when it comes to our daily conversations, while I try to create chances, she makes sure she doesn’t miss them.
It is usually in our walks our rendezvous occur; the bad weather we had all day left no room for hope; I was much disappointed at it, and did not foresee how much it was in my favour. Not being able to walk, after dinner they sat down to cards; as I seldom play, and was not wanted, I retired to my room, with no other design than to wait till the party was over. I was returning to join the company, when the charming woman, who was going into her apartment, whether through weakness or imprudence, said in a soft manner, “Where are you going? There is no one in the saloon.” That was sufficient, you may believe, for me to endeavour to go in with her. I found less reluctance than expected: it’s true, I had the precaution to begin the conversation at the door on indifferent matters; but we were scarcely settled when I began the true one, and I spoke of my love to my friend. “Oh,” says she, “let us not speak of that here;” and trembled. Poor woman! she sees herself going.
It usually happens during our walks that we meet up; the bad weather we had all day gave us no hope; I was really disappointed by it and didn’t realize how much it actually worked in my favor. Since we couldn’t walk, after dinner they started playing cards; since I rarely play and wasn’t needed, I went to my room, with no other plan than to wait until the gathering was over. As I was on my way back to join them, the charming woman, who was heading to her room, either out of weakness or carelessness, softly said, “Where are you going? There’s no one in the lounge.” That was all it took for me to try to go in with her. I found less hesitation than I expected: I had the sense to start the conversation at the door about random topics, but we had barely settled in when I shifted to the real topic, and I spoke of my love for my friend. “Oh,” she said, “let’s not talk about that here;” and she trembled. Poor woman! She sees herself losing control.
Yet she was in the wrong to have had any terrors. For some time past being certain of success one day or other, and seeing her employ so much exertion in useless struggles, I resolved to reserve mine, and wait without effort her surrender from lassitude. You already know I must have a complete triumph, and that I will not be indebted to opportunity. It was even after the formation of this plan, and in order to be pressing without engaging too far, I reverted to the word love, so obstinately resisted. Being assured my ardour was not questioned, I assumed a milder strain. This refusal no longer vexed me, it only afflicted me; my tender friend should give me some consolations. As she consoled me, one hand remained in mine, the lovely body rested on my arm, and we were exceeding close together. You must have certainly remarked, how much in such a situation, as the defence abates, the demands and refusals draw nearer; how the head turns aside, the looks cast down, whilst the conversation, always pronounced in a weak tone, becomes scarce and interrupted. Those precious symptoms announce, in an unequivocal manner, the consent of the mind, but rarely has it reached the senses. I even think it always dangerous to attempt any enterprise of consequence; because this state of abandonment being always accompanied with the softest pleasure, cannot be disturbed without ruffling the temper, which infallibly decides in favour of the defence.
Yet she was wrong to feel any fears. For a while now, knowing that success would come eventually, and seeing her put so much effort into pointless struggles, I decided to hold back and patiently wait for her to give in from exhaustion. You already know that I need to achieve complete victory and won’t rely on chance. After forming this plan and wanting to be assertive without overstepping, I returned to the word love, which she stubbornly resisted. Knowing my passion wasn’t in doubt, I took a gentler approach. This refusal no longer bothered me; it merely saddened me; my dear friend should offer me some comfort. As she comforted me, one hand stayed in mine, her lovely body rested on my arm, and we were very close together. You must have noticed that in such a situation, as defenses weaken, demands and refusals come closer; how one turns away, glances down, while the conversation, always spoken softly, becomes infrequent and interrupted. Those telling signs clearly indicate the mind’s consent, but rarely reaches the senses. I believe it’s always risky to try any significant endeavor; because this state of surrender, always accompanied by the sweetest pleasure, can’t be disturbed without upsetting the mood, which inevitably favors the defense.
But in the present case, prudence was so much more necessary, as I had every thing to dread from the forgetfulness of the danger this abandonment would occasion to my tender pensive devotee; and the avowal I solicited I did not even require to be pronounced; a look would suffice; a single glance would crown my happiness.
But in this situation, being cautious was even more important since I had everything to fear from the potential danger this abandonment would cause to my sensitive, thoughtful admirer; and the confession I was asking for didn’t even need to be spoken; a look would be enough; just a single glance would complete my happiness.
My charming friend, those lovely eyes then were raised on me, that celestial mouth even pronounced—“Well; yes, I—” in an instant the look was extinct, the voice failed, and this adorable woman dropped in my arms. I had scarcely time to receive her, when disengaging herself with a convulsive force and wild look, her hands raised to heaven, she exclaimed, “God—Oh, my God, save me!” and instantly, as quick as lightning, was on her knees ten paces from me. I could hear her almost suffocating. I came forward to assist her: but seizing my hands, which she bathed with her tears, sometimes embracing my knees, “Yes it is you,” said she, “it is you will save me; you do not wish my death; leave me; save me; leave me; for God’s sake! leave me:” and those incoherent expressions were brought out with most affecting sobs; yet still she held me so strong I could not get from her; however, making an effort, I rais’d her in my arms: instantly her tears ceas’d; she could not speak, her joints stiffened, and violent convulsions succeeded this storm.
My lovely friend, her beautiful eyes were lifted to me, and that heavenly mouth seemed to say—“Well; yes, I—” when suddenly, the look was gone, her voice faltered, and this amazing woman collapsed into my arms. I barely had time to catch her before she pulled away with a desperate force and a wild look in her eyes. Her hands raised to the sky, she cried out, “God—Oh, my God, save me!” and in an instant, as quick as lightning, she was on her knees ten feet away from me. I could hear her struggling to breathe. I came closer to help, but she grabbed my hands, soaking them with her tears, sometimes hugging my knees. “Yes, it’s you,” she said, “it’s you who will save me; you don’t want me to die; leave me; save me; please! leave me; for God’s sake!” Those disjointed cries came out through her heartbreaking sobs, yet she held on to me so tightly I couldn’t break free. Nevertheless, I made an effort and lifted her into my arms: instantly, her tears stopped; she couldn’t speak, her body went stiff, and violent convulsions followed this upheaval.
I must own, I was exceedingly moved, and believe I should have complied with her request, if the circumstances had not even obliged me to it. But this much is certain; after having given her some assistance, I left her, as she desired; and I am well pleased with myself for it. I have already received almost my reward.
I have to admit, I was deeply touched, and I think I would have agreed to her request if the situation hadn't forced me to. But one thing is clear; after helping her a bit, I left as she wanted, and I feel good about that. I've already gotten nearly my reward.
I expected, as on the first day of my declaration, I should not see her any more for the evening; but she came down to the saloon about eight, and only told the company she had been much indisposed: her countenance was dejected, her voice weak, her deportment composed, but her look mild, and often fixed on me.—As she declined playing, I was obliged to take her seat, and she placed herself beside me. During supper she remained alone in the saloon. At our return, I thought I perceived she had been crying: to be satisfied, I told her I was afraid she still felt some uneasiness from her disorder, to which she obligingly answered, “Her disorder would not go so quickly as it came.” At last, when we retired, I gave her my hand, and at the door of her apartment, she very forcibly squeez’d mine: it is true, this motion seemed to me to be involuntary; so much the better; it is a stronger proof of my power.
I thought, like on the first day I declared my feelings, that I wouldn’t see her again that evening; but she came down to the lounge around eight and only told everyone she had been feeling unwell. Her face looked sad, her voice was weak, her behavior was calm, but her gaze was gentle and often fixed on me. Since she refused to play, I had to take her spot, and she sat next to me. During dinner, she stayed by herself in the lounge. When we came back, I thought I noticed she had been crying. To be sure, I told her I was worried she still felt some discomfort from her illness, to which she kindly replied, “My illness won’t go away as quickly as it arrived.” Finally, when we left, I took her hand, and at the door of her room, she squeezed mine tightly. It did seem like that gesture was involuntary, but that’s even better; it proves my influence is stronger.
I am confident she is now happy to have gone such a length; all expences are paid; nothing now remains but enjoyment. Perhaps now, whilst I am writing to you, she is possessed with the soft idea; but, if she should even be engaged in a new scheme of defence, you and I know how such projects end. Now let me ask you, can things be put off longer than our next interview? I expect there will be some forms to be settled; but, the first difficulties surmounted, do those austere prudes know where to stop? Their affections are real explosions; resistance gives them strength; my untractable devotee would run after me, if I ceas’d running after her.
I’m sure she’s happy to have come this far; all expenses are covered; now it’s just about enjoying herself. Maybe while I’m writing this, she’s lost in that pleasant thought; but if she’s busy with some new plan to protect herself, you and I both know how those kinds of plans usually turn out. Now let me ask you, can we put things off until our next meeting? I expect there will be some details to sort out; but once we get past the first hurdles, do those uptight people know when to stop? Their feelings are like real explosions; resisting them only makes them stronger; my stubborn devotee would chase after me if I stopped chasing after her.
At length, my lovely friend, I shall soon call on you for the performance of your promise; you undoubtedly remember our agreement after my success; this trifling infidelity to your Chevalier.—Are you ready? I wish for it as passionately as if I had never known you. However, knowing you is, perhaps, a stronger motive for wishing for it.
At last, my dear friend, I will soon be asking you to fulfill your promise; you surely remember our deal after my success; this small betrayal of your Chevalier. —Are you ready? I want it as much as if I had never met you. However, knowing you might actually make me want it even more.
It shall be the first infidelity I shall commit against my solemn conquest; and, I promise you, I will embrace the first pretence to be absent from her four and twenty hours: that shall be her punishment for having kept me so long distant from her: It is now more than two months I have been taken up with this adventure: ay, two months and three days, including to-morrow, as it will not be really consummated until then. This brings to my memory, that Mademoiselle B—— held out three complete months. I am pleased to find sheer coquetry can make a longer defence than austere virtue.
It will be the first betrayal I commit against my serious conquest; and I promise you, I will seize the first excuse to be away from her for twenty-four hours: that will be her punishment for keeping me away from her for so long. It’s been over two months since I got caught up in this situation: yes, two months and three days, counting tomorrow, since it won’t really be finalized until then. This reminds me that Mademoiselle B—— held out for a full three months. I'm pleased to see that simple flirtation can last longer than strict virtue.
Adieu, charmer! I must leave off, for it is very late. This letter has led me farther than I intended; but, as I send to Paris to-morrow, I would not miss the opportunity of letting you partake a day sooner of your friend’s good success.
Adieu, dear! I have to go now because it’s very late. This letter has taken me further than I meant to go; however, since I’m sending something to Paris tomorrow, I didn’t want to miss the chance to share your friend’s good news with you a day early.
Oct. 2, 17—, at Night.
Oct. 2, 17—, at Night.
[1] Voltaire’s comedy of Nanine.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Voltaire's play Nanine.
LETTER C.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
The VALMONT, THE VISCOUNT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
My dear friend! I am betrayed, bubbled, ruined; I am enraged beyond expression: Madame de Tourvel is gone off. She is gone, and I knew nothing of it! I was not in the way to oppose her, to reproach her with her base treachery! Do not imagine I should have let her go quietly; she should have staid, had I been even obliged to have used force. Fool as I was! I slept peaceably, wrapped in a credulous security! I slept whilst the thunder struck me! I cannot conceive the meaning of this abrupt departure; I will for ever renounce the knowledge of women.
My dear friend! I feel completely betrayed, devastated, and destroyed; I’m outraged beyond words: Madame de Tourvel has left. She’s gone, and I had no idea! I wasn’t in a position to stop her or confront her about her terrible betrayal! Don’t think I would have let her leave calmly; she would have stayed, even if I had to use force. How naive I was! I slept soundly, wrapped in trusting security! I slept while the storm was crashing down around me! I can’t understand the reason for this sudden departure; I will forever give up trying to understand women.
When I recall the transactions of yesterday!—or rather the evening—the melting look, the tender voice, the squeezing the hand—all the while planning her flight.—Oh! woman, woman! complain, then, if you are deceived! Yes, every kind of treachery that is employed against you is a robbery committed on you.
When I think back to what happened yesterday!—or more accurately, last night—the way she looked at me, her soft voice, the way she held my hand—all while scheming her escape.—Oh! woman, woman! Go ahead and complain if you feel betrayed! Yes, every type of deceit used against you is a theft committed against you.
With what rapture shall I be revenged! I shall again meet this perfidious woman; I will resume my power over her. If love has been sufficient to furnish the means, what is it not capable of when assisted with revenge? I shall again see her at my knees, trembling, and bath’d in tears! calling on me for pity with her deceitful voice; and I will have none for her.
With what joy will I take my revenge! I will see this untrustworthy woman again; I will regain my control over her. If love has been enough to provide the means, what can’t it do when fueled by revenge? I will see her at my feet, shaking and soaked in tears! Calling out to me for mercy with her dishonest voice; and I will give her none.
What is she now doing? What can she think of? Perhaps applauding herself for having deceived me; and, true to the genius of her sex, enjoys that pleasure in the highest degree. What her boasted virtue could not effect, deceit has accomplished without a struggle; it was her disingenuity I should have dreaded.—Then, to be obliged to stifle my resentment; to be obliged to affect a tender sorrow, when my heart is possessed with rage. Reduced to supplicate a rebellious woman, who has withdrawn herself from my obedience! Ought I then be so much humbled? And by whom? By a weak woman, who was never accustomed to resist! What avails my having possession of her heart, having inflamed it with the whole fire of love, having raised her feelings even to intoxication; if, calm in her retreat, she can now be prouder of her flight than I of my victories? And must I bear this? My dear friend, you will not believe it; you will not, surely, have such a humiliating opinion of me!
What is she doing now? What is she thinking? Maybe she's congratulating herself for fooling me; and, true to her nature, she enjoys that satisfaction to the fullest. What her so-called virtue couldn't achieve, deceit has accomplished effortlessly; it’s her insincerity that I should have feared. To have to stifle my anger; to have to pretend to be tenderly sorrowful when my heart is filled with rage. Reduced to begging a defiant woman who has turned away from my commands! Should I really be so humbled? And by whom? By a weak woman who has never had to resist! What good is it that I have her heart, that I have ignited it with the full flame of love, that I have stirred her emotions to the point of intoxication; if, calm in her retreat, she can now take more pride in her escape than I can in my victories? And must I endure this? My dear friend, you won’t believe it; surely you can't think so little of me!
What fatality attaches me to this woman? Are there not a hundred others who wish I would pay attention to them, and eagerly accept it? If even none were so enchanting, the charms of variety, the allurements of new conquests, the splendour of the number; do not they afford a plentiful harvest of soft pleasures? Why, then, do I run madding after this one that flies me, and neglect those that offer? I am at a loss to account for it, but so it is.—There is no happiness, no repose for me, until I possess this woman, whom I love and hate with equal rage. I shall not be able to support my fate until I have disposed of hers: then, tranquil and satiated, I shall behold her a prey to the ravages I now experience, and will raise a thousand others; hope and fear, diffidence and security, all evils the offspring of hatred, all the gifts that love can bestow, shall alternately engross her heart at my will. The time will come——But what labours have I not yet to encounter?—How near was I yesterday, and how distant to-day! How am I to regain the ground I have lost? I dare not undertake any one step: to come to some resolution I should be calm, and my blood boils in my veins.
What obsession do I have with this woman? Aren't there hundreds of others who would love my attention and would gladly accept it? Even if none were as captivating, the thrills of variety, the excitement of new conquests, the sheer number—don't they provide a wealth of sweet pleasures? So why am I chasing after this one who avoids me while ignoring those who are eager? I can't figure it out, but that's how it is. There's no happiness or peace for me until I have this woman, whom I love and hate with equal passion. I won’t be able to endure my fate until I’ve dealt with hers: then, calm and satisfied, I'll watch her suffer the same torment I feel now, and I’ll create a thousand new ones; hope and fear, uncertainty and security, all the pains that come from hatred, and all the gifts that love can give, will take turns consuming her heart at my command. The time will come—but what challenges do I still have to face? How close was I yesterday, and how far away today! How am I supposed to make up for the ground I’ve lost? I don’t dare take a single step: to come to any decision, I should be calm, but my blood is boiling in my veins.
The calm serenity with which every one replies to my demands on this extraordinary, on this uncommon event, and its cause, adds to my torments.—No one knows the reason: none seem to give themselves the least uneasiness about it; it scarcely would have been mentioned, could I have started any other subject. I flew to Madame de Rosemonde the moment I heard the news, who replied, with the natural indifference of old age, it was the consequence of the indisposition Madame de Tourvel had suffered yesterday: she dreaded a fit of illness, and wished to be at home; a resolution she did not think proper to oppose, as she would have done on a similar occasion; as if the contrast was applicable,—between her who should think of nothing but futurity, and the other, who is the delight and torment of my life.
The calm way everyone responds to my requests about this extraordinary and unusual event and its cause only adds to my torment. No one knows the reason; no one seems to care even a little bit about it. It hardly would have come up if I could have changed the subject. I rushed to Madame de Rosemonde as soon as I heard the news, and she replied with the natural indifference of old age that it was due to the illness Madame de Tourvel experienced yesterday. She feared a health crisis and wanted to be at home—a decision she didn’t think to challenge as she would have in a similar situation. It’s as if there’s a contrast to be made between someone who should focus solely on the future and the one who is both the joy and torment of my life.
Madame de Volanges, who I had suspected at first of being an accomplice, seems dissatisfied for not having been consulted on this occasion. I must own I am very well pleased she has been disappointed of the pleasure of prejudicing me; which is still a stronger proof she has not the confidence of this woman so much as I dreaded: that is an enemy the less. How would she have exulted, did she know she fled from me! How intolerable her pride, had it been the consequence of her advice! To what an immensity would her importance have been raised! Good God! how I detest her!—Yes, I will renew my connection with the daughter, and initiate her in her business: I believe I shall stay here some time; I am at present inclined to this measure, in the tumult of reflections that crowd on me.
Madame de Volanges, whom I initially suspected as an accomplice, seems unhappy that she wasn't consulted this time. I must admit I'm quite pleased she's been denied the chance to undermine me; this shows even more clearly that she doesn't have the influence over this woman that I feared: that's one less enemy to worry about. How would she have reveled in knowing that she was running away from me! How unbearable her arrogance would have been if it had come from her advice! Just think about how much more important she would have felt! Good God! how I despise her!—Yes, I'll reconnect with her daughter and get her involved in her matters: I think I'll be here for a while; right now, I'm leaning toward this decision amidst the flood of thoughts racing through my mind.
Don’t you, really now, think, after so extraordinary a proceeding, my ungrateful fair one should dread me? If she imagines I shall pursue her, she will not fail to prevent my admission; and, I can assure you, I am as little inclined to permit her such a custom, as to bear such an insult. I had much rather she should be told I remain here; I will even strenuously press her to return again: then, when she is fully convinced I am far from her, I will suddenly come to her house, and abide the effect of my scheme.—That it may have its full force, it must not be hurried; still I will not answer for my impatience; twenty times this day was I tempted to call for my horses. I will contain myself, however, and wait your answer here; I only request, my lovely friend, you will not let me wait long for it.
Don’t you, really now, think that after such an extraordinary situation, my ungrateful lady should be afraid of me? If she thinks I will chase her, she won’t hesitate to keep me from coming in, and I can assure you, I’m just as unwilling to allow her that effort as I am to tolerate such an insult. I would much prefer if she were told I’m still here; I will even strongly encourage her to come back again: then, when she’s completely convinced I’m far away from her, I’ll suddenly show up at her place and face the outcome of my plan.—For it to have its full impact, it shouldn’t be rushed; still, I can’t promise to control my impatience; I was tempted twenty times today to call for my horses. I’ll hold myself back, though, and wait for your response here; I only ask, my lovely friend, that you don’t make me wait too long for it.
What hurts me most is to be ignorant of what happens: my fellow, who is at Paris, has a claim on her waiting maid; he may be serviceable; I send him money, and his instructions. Permit me to include both in this letter, and request to have them delivered into his hand by some of your servants: this precaution is the more necessary, as the scoundrel has a trick of never receiving any letters I write him on business he finds troublesome; and, at this period, he does not seem to be quite so enraptured with his girl as I could wish him.
What hurts me the most is not knowing what’s going on: my friend, who is in Paris, has issues with her maid; he might be helpful. I’m sending him money and instructions. Please include both in this letter and ask some of your staff to hand them over to him. This is especially important since the jerk has a habit of ignoring any letters I send him about matters he finds annoying; and right now, he doesn’t seem as crazy about her as I would like him to be.
Adieu, my lovely friend! If a happy thought should strike you, or any means of bringing me speedily to action, lose not a moment. I have often experienced your friendship; I forcibly experience it now, for I am more serene since I sat down to write. I speak, at least, to one who comprehends me, not to the inanimate beings with whom I vegetate since this morning. On my word, the more I proceed, the more I am inclined to think we are the only couple worth any thing in this life.
Goodbye, my dear friend! If any happy idea comes to you, or if you find a way to get me moving quickly, don’t wait a second. I have often felt your friendship; I truly feel it now, because I feel calmer since I started writing. At least I’m talking to someone who understands me, not to the lifeless things I’ve been stuck with since this morning. Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I believe we are the only ones who really matter in this life.
Oct. 3, 17—.
Oct. 3, 17—.
LETTER CI.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to AZOLAN, his Huntsman.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to AZOLAN, his huntsman.
(Enclosed in the foregoing.)
(Enclosed in the above.)
You must be a stupid fellow, indeed, to set out this morning, and not have known that Madame de Tourvel was going away also; or, if you knew it, not to have given me notice. To what purpose is it, then, you spend my money, if you only get drunk with the men, and loiter your time in courting the waiting maids, if you do not give me better information of what is going forward?—This is entirely owing to your negligence; therefore, I now give you notice, if such another happens in this business, it shall be the last you will be guilty of in my service.
You really have to be clueless to head out this morning and not realize that Madame de Tourvel was leaving too; or if you did know, why didn’t you tell me? What’s the point of wasting my money if all you do is drink with the guys and flirt with the maids, without keeping me updated on what’s going on? This is all because of your carelessness; so, I’m warning you now, if this happens again, it will be the last time you do this while working for me.
You must inform me of every thing that happens at Madame de Tourvel’s, relative to her health; whether she sleeps well; whether she is melancholy or cheerful; if she goes abroad often, and where; if she sees much company, and who goes there; how she passes her time; whether she is out of temper with her women, particularly the one that was with her here; how she employs her time when alone; if, when she reads, she is composed, or stops to muse; and the same when she writes. Remember, also, to make a friend of whoever carries the letters to the post office: often do that business for him; and, when he accepts it, send away only those you think of no consequence, and send me the rest, especially those for Madame de Volanges, if there should be any.
You need to let me know everything that happens at Madame de Tourvel’s regarding her health; whether she sleeps well; whether she feels down or happy; if she goes out often, and where to; if she has a lot of visitors, and who they are; how she spends her time; whether she's in a bad mood with her maids, especially the one who was with her here; how she occupies herself when she's alone; if, when she reads, she is focused or stops to think; and the same goes for when she writes. Also, make sure to befriend whoever takes the letters to the post office: do favors for him often; when he agrees, only send out the ones you think are unimportant, and send me the rest, especially any for Madame de Volanges, if there are any.
Settle your matters so as to be still the favourite of Julia. If she has another, as you thought, bring her to consent to share her favours; and do not be so ridiculous as to give yourself airs of jealousy: you will be only circumstanced as your superiors; but, if your rival should be troublesome, or if you perceive he takes up too much of Julia’s time in the day, so that she should not be so often with her mistress, to observe her, you must, by some means or other, drive him away, or pick a quarrel with him; do not be afraid of the consequences,—I will support you: above all, leave the house as little as possible; for it is by assiduity only you can make your observations with certainty. If, by chance, any of the servants should be discharged, offer yourself in their room, as if no longer in my service: in such case, you must say you left me to get into a more quiet and regular service. Endeavour, as much as possible, to be hired; I shall, notwithstanding, keep you still in mine during the time; and you will be as you was before at the Duchess of ——, and Madame de Tourvel will also reward you in the end.
Settle your affairs to remain Julia's favorite. If she has someone else, as you suspected, try to get her to agree to share her affections with you; and don’t act ridiculous with jealousy. You’ll just end up in a situation like those above you. However, if your rival becomes a problem, or if you notice he’s taking up too much of Julia’s time during the day, making her less available to her mistress, you need to find a way to get him out of the picture or start a fight with him. Don’t worry about the consequences—I’ll back you up. Above all, don’t leave the house too much, because it’s only through constant attention that you can get accurate insights. If any of the servants are let go, put yourself forward as their replacement, as if you're no longer working for me. In that case, say you left to find a more stable and peaceful job. Try as hard as you can to get hired; I’ll still keep you on my payroll for now, and you’ll be in the same position you were before at the Duchess of ——, and Madame de Tourvel will reward you in the end.
If you was zealous and skilful, those instructions should be sufficient: but, to assist one and the other, I send you some money: the enclosed bill on my steward entitles you to call on him for twenty-five louis, for I suppose you have no money. You will make use of as much as is necessary, to prevail on Julia to settle a correspondence with me; the remainder to treat the servants: let it be as often as you can in the porter’s lodge, that he may like to see you. However, do not forget, it is your services I mean to pay, and not your pleasures.
If you are diligent and skilled, those instructions should be enough: but to help you both, I’m sending you some money. The enclosed bill from my steward allows you to collect twenty-five louis from him, since I assume you don’t have any cash. Use as much as you need to persuade Julia to start a correspondence with me; the rest should be for treating the servants. Try to do this as often as you can at the porter’s lodge, so he gets used to seeing you. However, remember, I intend to pay for your services, not for your leisure.
Accustom Julia, betimes, to observe and report every thing, even what she may think the most trifling; it is better she should write ten useless lines, than omit a material one; and what often appears a matter of indifference, is quite otherwise. As I must be instantly informed, if any thing should happen you think of consequence after you receive this letter, send off Philip directly on the message horse, to fix himself at ——, and remain there until farther orders; it will be a stage in case of necessity; but, for common correspondence, the post will be sufficient.
Get Julia used to observing and reporting everything, even what she thinks is the most trivial. It's better for her to write ten useless lines than to leave out an important one; sometimes what seems insignificant is anything but. If something important happens after you get this letter, let me know immediately. Send Philip out right away on the message horse to set up at —— and stay there until I give further instructions; it will be a stopgap if needed, but for regular correspondence, the post will be enough.
Take great care not to lose this letter; read it over every day; not only not to forget any thing, but also to be certain you have it. Do, in a few words every thing you ought, now I honour you with my confidence. You very well know, if I am satisfied with your conduct, you shall be satisfied with me.
Take great care not to lose this letter; read it every day. Not just to remember everything, but also to make sure you have it. In a few words, do everything you need to do, as I trust you now. You know very well that if I’m happy with your actions, you’ll be happy with me.
Oct. 3. 17—.
Oct. 3, 1717.
LETTER CII.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
You will be very much surprised, dear Madam, to learn I quitted your house so precipitately: this proceeding will, doubtless, appear very extraordinary; but how will your astonishment be increased, when you shall know my reasons! You will perhaps imagine, when I confide them to you, I have not paid proper attention to the respect the necessary tranquility of your age commands; that I am insensible to the sentiments of veneration you are so justly entitled to from me. Ah! forgive me, Madam! my heart is oppressed; it seeks to pour out its distress into the friendly bosom of prudence and mildness:—where could it find it but with you? Look upon me as your child; take a maternal compassion on me; I implore it; my sentiments for you may give me a claim to it.
You will be very surprised, dear Madam, to learn that I left your house so suddenly. This will likely seem very strange to you; but your surprise will only grow when you hear my reasons! You might think that when I share them with you, I haven’t given enough thought to the respect that your age deserves; that I’m insensitive to the admiration you rightly deserve from me. Ah! Please forgive me, Madam! My heart is heavy; it longs to share its troubles with someone understanding and kind: where else could it turn but to you? See me as your child; feel maternal compassion for me; I beg you for it; my feelings for you may give me a right to it.
The time is fled, when, wholly possessed with those laudable ideas, I knew not these I now experience, which ravage the soul, and deprive me of the power of resistance, whilst they impose its necessity! Ah! this fatal visit has undone me!
The time has passed when I was completely consumed by those admirable thoughts; I didn't know the feelings I now have, which torment my soul and take away my ability to fight back, even as they make it necessary! Ah! this disastrous visit has ruined me!
What can I say?—I love,—yes, I love to distraction! Alas! this fatal word, which now I write for the first time,—this word, so often solicited but never granted, my life should now expiate to let him hear who has inspired it; yet I must ever refuse! He will remain doubtful of the sentiments I feel for him.—I am miserable!—Oh, that he could as readily read my heart as rule it! I should suffer less if he but knew what I endure; but even you, my venerable friend, can have but a faint idea of my sufferings.
What can I say?—I love,—yes, I love to distraction! Unfortunately! this fateful word, which I’m writing for the first time,—this word, so often desired but never given, my life should now pay the price so he can hear it from the one who inspired it; yet I must always refuse! He will still be uncertain about how I truly feel for him.—I am miserable!—Oh, if only he could read my heart as easily as he can control it! I would suffer less if he knew what I’m going through; but even you, my wise friend, can only have a faint idea of my pain.
I shall in a few minutes fly him, and load him with affliction. He will think me near him, and I shall be far from him.—At the usual hour of seeing him every day, I shall be in places unknown to him, and where he cannot come: every thing is prepared full in my view, and all announce my unhappy flight: all is ready but me!—and the more my heart recoils, the more I am convinced of the necessity of submitting to my fate.—I must submit; it is better to die than live in guilt: already I feel my criminality; modesty only is preserved, but virtue is vanished:—what yet is left me, I must acknowledge, is due to his generosity. Intoxicated with pleasure, seeing and listening to him, enraptured in his arms, and the greatest of all extacy, that of making him happy, I was diverted of strength or power; scarce any left to struggle, but none to resist; I shuddered at my danger, but had not power to fly:—he saw my sufferings, and had compassion on me.—Must I not cherish him to whom I owe more than life!
I will soon fly away from him and burden him with sorrow. He will think I'm close, but I'll actually be far away. At the usual time when I see him every day, I’ll be in places he doesn’t know and can’t reach. Everything is set right in front of me, and it all reveals my sad departure: all that’s left is me! The more my heart pulls back, the more I realize I have to accept my fate. I must accept it; it’s better to die than live with guilt: I already feel my wrongdoing; only modesty remains, but virtue is gone. What I still have, I must admit, is thanks to his kindness. Overwhelmed with joy, seeing and listening to him, lost in his arms, and experiencing the greatest ecstasy of making him happy, I found myself drained of strength or will; barely enough to fight back, and none to escape. I trembled at my peril but had no power to run away: he saw my pain and felt sorry for me. Shouldn’t I cherish him to whom I owe more than life?
Had that been my only care, remaining with him, do not imagine I should ever have thought of going! for what is life without him? Happy should I have been to die for him! But, condemned to be the cause of his misery and my own, without daring to complain, or console him; to be daily exposed to struggle, not only against him, but also against myself; to employ my cares to bring him to anguish, when I would devote my days to make him happy: such a life is worse than a thousand deaths; yet this is to be my fate: I will still resolutely bear up against it. And do you, who I have chosen for a mother, receive my solemn vow to observe it.
Had that been my only worry, staying with him, don’t think I would ever consider leaving! What is life without him? I would have been happy to die for him! But, being forced to be the reason for his suffering and my own, without being able to complain or comfort him; to face daily struggles, not just against him, but also against myself; to spend my energy causing him pain when I want to dedicate my days to making him happy: that life is worse than a thousand deaths; yet this is my fate: I will still bravely face it. And you, whom I’ve chosen as my mother, accept my solemn vow to uphold this.
Receive also another, of never concealing any of my actions from you. I beseech you to accept it. I demand it as a necessary aid to my conduct. I shall be engaged to relate you all; I shall think myself in your presence; your virtue will assist my weakness. I will never consent to shame in your sight; and by means of this powerful restraint, whilst I cherish the indulgent friend, the confidant of my weakness, I shall reverence my tutelar angel that guards me from shame.
Receive also another promise: to never hide any of my actions from you. I urge you to accept it. I see it as a vital support for how I behave. I will make sure to share everything with you; I will imagine you are present with me, and your goodness will help my shortcomings. I will never agree to feel ashamed in front of you; and with this strong commitment, while I value the supportive friend, my confidant in my weaknesses, I will honor my guardian angel who protects me from shame.
It is experiencing it too fatally, to be compelled to this requisition. Oh, the unhappy effect of presumptuous confidence! Why did I not oppose sooner this growing inclination? Why did I flatter myself with being able to conquer it at my pleasure? Senseless wretch! Little did I know the power of love! Ah! had I struggled against it with more care, it would not have overpowered me. This sudden departure would have been unnecessary; or, even being compelled to this painful step, I might not have been forced to break a connection, which might have been less frequent. But to lose all at once, and for ever!—Oh, my dear friend!—I forget myself, and again wander in criminal wishes. Let us part; and, at least, let me expiate by my sacrifice those involuntary injuries.
It’s too late for me to realize how serious this situation is. Oh, the unfortunate outcome of overconfidence! Why didn’t I speak up sooner against this growing urge? Why did I deceive myself into thinking I could control it whenever I wanted? What a fool I was! I had no idea how strong love could be! If only I had fought against it more diligently, it wouldn’t have taken over me. This sudden departure wouldn’t have been necessary; or even if I had to take this painful step, I might not have had to sever a connection that could have been less intense. But to lose everything all at once, forever!—Oh, my dear friend!—I’m losing control and getting lost in forbidden desires again. Let’s part ways; at least let me make amends for these unintentional hurts through my sacrifice.
Adieu, most respectable friend! Love me as a daughter; adopt me as one; and be assured, notwithstanding my weakness, I would rather die than be unworthy that name.
Adieu, my dear friend! Love me like a daughter; take me in as one; and know that, despite my shortcomings, I would rather die than be unworthy of that title.
Oct. 3, 17—, One in the morning.
Oct. 3, 17—, 1 AM.
LETTER CIII.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE to the President de Tourvel.
I was more afflicted, my lovely dear, at your departure, than surprised at the cause; long experience, and my concern for you, had sufficiently informed me the state of your heart; and to sum up all, you have told me almost nothing in your letter but what I feared. Was I to depend on it for information, I should still be ignorant who it is you love; for in speaking of him all the time, you never once mention his name. It was not necessary; too well I know who it is. This I remark only, because I recollect, it always has been the language of love. I see things are the same as they were formerly.
I was more distressed, my lovely dear, by your departure than I was surprised by the reason; my long experience and my concern for you have made it clear what your heart feels. To sum it up, your letter has told me almost nothing but what I already feared. If I were to rely on it for information, I would still have no idea who you love; because while you talk about him all the time, you never actually mention his name. It wasn't necessary; I know very well who it is. I point this out only because I remember that this has always been the language of love. It seems things are still the same as they were before.
I little imagined my thoughts would ever be called back to things so foreign to my age, and so much out of my memory. Since yesterday, however, my mind has been much taken up with it, in order to find out something that may be useful to you. What can I then do, but admire and pity you? I am charmed with your proceeding; yet terrified because you thought it indispensable; and when things have gone so far, it is a difficult matter to avoid those our hearts are continually drawing us towards.
I never thought my mind would wander back to things so unrelated to my age and so far out of my memory. Since yesterday, though, I’ve been thinking about it a lot to find something that might help you. So what can I do but admire and feel sorry for you? I'm impressed by your actions, but I'm also scared that you felt it was necessary; and when things get to that point, it's hard to resist the pull of what our hearts keep leading us to.
However, you must not be discouraged; nothing is impossible to such a virtuous mind; and were you ever to yield, (which God forbid!) you will at least, my lovely dear, have the consolation of having resisted with all your might; moreover, what human wisdom cannot accomplish, the divine grace operates when it pleases. You are, perhaps, now at the eve of your deliverance; and your virtue, which has been tried in those dreadful conflicts, will arise more pure and refined. The strength which forsakes you to-day, you must hope for to-morrow. Do not, however, depend on it; use it only as an incentive to encourage you to employ all your own.
However, don’t be discouraged; nothing is impossible for a virtuous mind. If you ever do give in, (which I hope you don’t!) you'll at least have the comfort of knowing you fought with all your strength. Besides, what human wisdom can't achieve, divine grace can, when it chooses. You might be on the brink of your freedom now, and your virtue, tested through those terrible struggles, will emerge even stronger and purer. The strength that feels absent today should be something you look forward to tomorrow. But don’t rely solely on that; let it motivate you to make the most of your own abilities.
Leaving to Providence the care of assisting you in a danger where I can bring no prevention, I reserve to myself that of supporting and consoling you as much as in my power. I cannot relieve your troubles, but I will share them. On those conditions I will accept your confidence. I know your heart wants to be disburthened; I offer you my own; age has not so far frozen it, as to leave it insensible to friendship: you will always find it open to receive you. This is a poor relief to your distress, but you shall not, however, weep alone; and when this unhappy passion overpowers you, and obliges you to speak, it will be better it should be with me than him. Now I speak as you do; and I believe between us both we shall not be able to name him, but we understand each other.
Leaving it to fate to help you in a situation where I can’t prevent anything, I promise to support and comfort you as much as I can. I may not be able to take away your troubles, but I’ll share them with you. On those terms, I’ll accept your trust. I know your heart wants to be unburdened; I offer you mine; age hasn’t made it so cold that it can't feel friendship: you’ll always find it ready to welcome you. This may not be a great relief for your distress, but you won’t cry alone; and when this unfortunate passion overwhelms you and you feel the need to talk, it’s better that you do it with me than him. Now I’m speaking as you do; and I believe between us, we might not even mention his name, but we understand each other.
I do not know whether I do right in telling you he appeared amazingly affected as your sudden departure; it would, perhaps, be better not to mention it: but I am not fond of that prudence that afflicts one’s friends. I am obliged to stop short on that subject; for the weakness of my sight and a trembling hand will not indulge long letters, when I am under the necessity of writing them myself.
I’m not sure if it’s right to tell you how much your sudden departure seemed to affect him; maybe it’s better not to mention it. But I’m not one for that kind of caution that keeps friends in the dark. I have to cut off that topic, though, because my eyesight isn’t great and my hand shakes, so I can’t write long letters when I have to do it myself.
Adieu, my lovely dear! Adieu, my amiable child! I adopt you freely as a daughter. You have every accomplishment to fill a mother’s heart with pride and pleasure.
Goodbye, my lovely dear! Goodbye, my wonderful child! I gladly take you as my daughter. You possess every quality to make a mother proud and happy.
Oct. 3, 17—.
Oct. 3, 1717.
LETTER CIV.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to MADAME DE VOLANGES.
The Marchioness de Merteuil to Madame de Volanges.
It was with some difficulty, my dear worthy friend, I could suppress an impulse of pride on reading your letter. You honour me, then, with your full confidence; you even condescend to ask my advice. I should be completely happy if I merited this favourable opinion; or, that it did not proceed from the prepossession of your friendship. Whatever may be the motive, it is so flattering, that having obtained it, I shall endeavour more ardently to deserve it. I shall then, but without presuming to advise, tell you freely my thoughts. I own I am diffident of them, as they differ from yours; yet, when you have my reasons, you will then judge, and if they should not meet with your approbation, I declare beforehand I submit. I shall, at least, be so prudent as not to think myself wiser than you. However, for this once, if my opinion should have the preference, you will find the cause in the facility of maternal fondness. With you we must look for so laudable an inclination, and readily recognize it in the measure you are inclined to embrace. Thus if you sometimes err, it is always on the side of virtue.
It was a bit difficult, my dear friend, to hold back my pride when I read your letter. You honor me with your full trust; you even go so far as to ask for my advice. I would be completely happy if I truly deserved this kind opinion, or if it didn’t come from the bias of your friendship. Regardless of the reason, it’s so flattering that I’ll strive even harder to earn it. So, I will share my thoughts with you openly, without assuming to advise you. I admit I’m hesitant about them because they differ from yours; however, once you've heard my reasoning, you can judge for yourself. If my thoughts don’t meet with your approval, I already declare that I will accept that. I’ll at least be wise enough not to think I know more than you do. However, for this occasion, if my opinion is favored, you’ll find the root cause in the ease of a mother’s affection. With you, we must recognize such a commendable inclination and see it clearly in the extent you are willing to embrace. So, if you do make mistakes sometimes, it’s always on the side of virtue.
When we are to decide on the lot of others, but more especially, when the question is to fix it by a sacred and indissoluble band, such as marriage, prudence, I think, ought to take place of all other considerations. It is then an equally wise and tender mother should, as you well observe, assist her daughter with her own experience. I ask then, how is she to attain it, but by making a distinction between what is pleasing and what convenient.
When we have to decide the fate of others, especially when the choice is to solidify it with a sacred and unbreakable bond like marriage, I believe that wisdom should take priority over all other considerations. It is at this point that a wise and caring mother should, as you rightly point out, help her daughter with her own experiences. So I ask, how is she supposed to achieve this if not by distinguishing between what is desirable and what is practical?
Would it not be debasing maternal authority, nay even annihilating it, to make it subservient to a frivolous inclination, whose illusive power is felt only by those that dread it, and immediately vanishes when contemptuously treated? For my part, I must own I never believed in those irresistible, impetuous passions, which one would imagine the world has adopted, as an universal excuse for their irregularities. I cannot conceive how a passion, that one moment creates, and the next destroys, can overpower the unalterable principles of chastity, decency and modesty; nor how a woman, that has relinquished them, can be justified by a pretended passion, no more than a robber for a thirst for money, or a murderer for a desire of revenge. Where is the person who has not had their struggles? I have been always persuaded, inclination was sufficient for resistance, and experience has confirmed my opinion. Of what estimation would virtue be, without the obligations it imposes? Its worship are our sacrifices, its reward in our hearts. Those incontestable truths can be denied only by those whose interest it is to forget them; and who being already contaminated, hope to carry on the illusion, and justify their bad conduct by worse reasoning.
Wouldn't it be degrading to maternal authority, or even completely destroying it, to make it submissive to a trivial urge, whose deceptive power is only felt by those who fear it, and immediately disappears when treated with disdain? For my part, I must admit that I've never believed in those irresistible, impulsive passions that one would think the world has accepted as a universal excuse for their wrongdoings. I can't understand how a passion that creates one moment and destroys the next can overpower the unchanging principles of chastity, decency, and modesty; nor can I see how a woman who has abandoned them can be justified by a supposed passion, just as a robber can't justify his actions by a thirst for money or a murderer by a desire for revenge. Where is the person who hasn’t faced their own struggles? I've always believed that inclination is enough for resistance, and my experiences have confirmed that belief. What value would virtue have without the obligations it demands? Its worship comes from our sacrifices, and its reward resides in our hearts. Those undeniable truths can only be denied by those who have a vested interest in forgetting them; and who, being already tainted, hope to continue the illusion and justify their bad behavior with even worse reasoning.
But is this to be apprehended from an innocent timid child; from a child of yours, whose pure and modest education is strengthened by a happy disposition? Still it is to this apprehension, which I will venture to call very humiliating for your daughter, you would give up an advantageous match your prudence had provided. I have a great friendship for Danceny; and you know for some time past I have seldom seen M. de Gercourt: but my friendship for the one, nor my indifference for the other, can prevent me from observing the immense difference between the two matches.
But can we really expect this from an innocent, shy child? From your child, whose pure and modest upbringing is supported by a cheerful nature? Yet, it is this expectation, which I dare say is quite humiliating for your daughter, that would lead you to give up a good match that your discretion has secured. I have a strong friendship for Danceny; and you know I haven't seen M. de Gercourt much lately. But my friendship for one and my indifference for the other doesn't stop me from noticing the huge difference between the two matches.
As to birth, I agree with you, they are on an equality: but the one is deficient in fortune, and the other’s is such as, exclusive of blood, is sufficient to raise him to the highest employments. I acknowledge, happiness may be independent of fortune; but we must also own it a very necessary ingredient. You say, Mademoiselle de Volanges is rich enough for both; yet sixty thousand livres per annum, which she is to possess, will not be too much for one who bears the name of Danceny, to furnish and keep up a house suitable to it. These are not Madame de Sévigné’s days. Luxury absorbs every thing; we blame, yet imitate it; and our superfluities end in depriving us of necessaries. As to personal accomplishments, which you with great reason dwell much on, certainly on that point M. de Gercourt is irreproachable, which he has already proved. I am fond of thinking, and really believe Danceny is not his inferior; but are we so certain of it? It is true, hitherto he appears untainted with the follies of the age, and notwithstanding the ton of the day, he shows a taste for good company, which inclines one to judge favourably of him. Yet who knows whether this apparent discretion is not the result of the mediocrity of his income? To be a gamester or a libertine, money must be had; or if there should be a tincture of knavery or epicurism, one may be fond of the defects, and still dread their excess. There are thousands who are admitted into good company because they have no other employment.
As for birth, I agree with you; they are equal there. However, one is lacking in wealth, while the other has enough, aside from noble lineage, to elevate him to the highest positions. I admit that happiness can exist without wealth, but we have to acknowledge that it is a very necessary part of it. You say that Mademoiselle de Volanges is wealthy enough for both; yet sixty thousand livres a year, which she is set to inherit, is hardly sufficient for someone named Danceny to properly furnish and maintain a house that meets those standards. These aren't the days of Madame de Sévigné. Opulence consumes everything; we criticize it, yet imitate it, and our excesses often leave us lacking in essentials. Regarding personal qualities, which you rightly emphasize, Monsieur de Gercourt is definitely above reproach, as he has already demonstrated. I like to think, and truly believe, that Danceny is not his inferior; but can we be sure of that? It's true that up until now he seems unaffected by the foolishness of the times, and despite the current trends, he shows a preference for good company, which makes us inclined to view him positively. Yet who’s to say this apparent maturity isn't just a result of his average income? To be a gambler or a libertine, money is needed; or if there’s a hint of deceit or indulgence, one might enjoy those flaws, while still fearing their extremes. There are countless people who gain entry into good society simply because they have no other pursuits.
I do not say, God forbid I should! that I believe such things of him: yet there is some danger; and if the event should not answer your expectations, how you would reproach yourself! What reply could you make to your daughter, who would probably say, “Mother, I was young and unexperienced; I was even led astray by an error excusable at my age: Providence, which had foreseen my incapacity, had given me a prudent mother to preserve me. How is it then, that laying your discretion aside, you have consented to make me unhappy? Was I to choose a husband, I who knew nothing of a married state? If even I was determined on it, should you not have opposed it? But I never was possessed with that foolish self will. Determined to obey you, I waited with respectful veneration your choice. Did I ever swerve from my submission? Yet now I suffer the afflictions due to rebellious children only. Your weakness has been my ruin.” Perhaps her respect might stifle those complaints: but your maternal love would discover them; and your daughter’s tears, though concealed, would still overwhelm your heart.
I’m not saying, God forbid I should! that I believe such things about him: but there is some risk; and if things don’t turn out as you expect, how will you feel about yourself? What will you say to your daughter, who might say, “Mom, I was young and inexperienced; I was even misled by a mistake that’s understandable for my age: Fate, which knew I couldn’t handle this, gave me a wise mother to protect me. So how is it that you set aside your judgment and let me be unhappy? Was I supposed to choose a husband when I knew nothing about marriage? Even if I wanted to, shouldn’t you have stopped me? But I never had that foolish stubbornness. Wanting to obey you, I respected and waited for your decision. Did I ever go against what you wanted? Yet now I suffer the consequences meant for rebellious children only. Your weakness has led to my destruction.” Maybe her respect would keep those thoughts in check: but your motherly love would notice them; and your daughter’s tears, even if hidden, would still break your heart.
Where then will you seek consolation? Will it be in this ridiculous passion, against which you should have guarded her, by which you even suffer yourself to be seduced?
Where will you find comfort then? Will it be in this silly obsession, which you should have protected her from, and which you even allow to lure you in?
Perhaps I may, my dear friend, conceive too strong a prejudice against this attachment: I view it in a formidable light, even in case of a marriage. Not that I disapprove a decent and pure intention should embellish the matrimonial bands, to soften in some measure the obligations it requires: but he is not the man appointed to tie them; it is not an illusory moment that ought to regulate our choice for life: for to choose well, we ought to compare; how then is it possible, when our imaginations are engrossed by a sole object; when that object cannot even be investigated, as we are plunged in intoxication and blindness? I have often, I assure you, fallen in with women attacked by this dangerous disorder; some of them I have been in confidence with: hear them speak, their lovers were in every degree all perfection; but those perfections were confined to their imaginations only. Their exalted ideas dress at pleasure those they prefer; they dream of nothing but excellence and virtue; it is the drapery of an angel often worn by an abject model: be him as he may, they have no sooner adorned him, than, dupes to their own labour, they fall down and adore him.
Perhaps I may, my dear friend, have a strong bias against this attachment: I see it as a serious issue, even in the case of marriage. Not that I disapprove of a decent and sincere intention enhancing the marital bond, which helps to ease some of the obligations it entails; but he is not the right person to make that commitment. It's not a fleeting moment that should determine our lifelong choice; to choose wisely, we need to compare options. How is that possible when our minds are consumed by just one person? When that person can’t even be fully understood, as we are caught up in intoxication and blindness? I have often encountered women suffering from this dangerous condition; some I have confided in: listen to them speak, and their lovers are perfect in every way; but those perfections exist only in their imagination. Their lofty ideals transform the ones they love as they wish; they dream only of excellence and virtue; it’s the disguise of an angel often worn by someone unworthy. No matter who he is, they have hardly finished adorning him before they become blind to their own deception and begin to worship him.
Your daughter, then, does not love Danceny, or, she is fascinated by this same illusion; and if they mutually love, they both experience the same. Thus your reason for uniting them is reduced to a certainty that they do not know each other, but also, that they never can know each other. I think I hear you say, “Can M. de Gercourt and my daughter know each other better?” No, certainly; but at least they do not mistake themselves; they are not sufficiently acquainted together. What then happens between a couple that I suppose decent? Why they study to please, observe, seek, and find out soon what inclinations or desires they must relinquish, for their mutual tranquillity. Those small self denials give but little uneasiness, as they are foreseen, and are reciprocal; they are soon converted into mutual good will; and custom, which ever strengthens all inclinations it does not destroy, gradually leads to that sincere friendship, that tender confidence, which, when united with esteem, forms, I think, the true solid happiness of the married state.
Your daughter, then, doesn’t love Danceny, or she's caught up in the same illusion; and if they both truly love each other, they’re experiencing the same thing. So your reason for bringing them together comes down to the fact that they don’t really know each other, and they probably never will. I can almost hear you asking, "Can M. de Gercourt and my daughter know each other better?" No, definitely not; but at least they aren’t fooling themselves; they just haven’t gotten to know each other well enough. So, what happens between a couple that I assume is decent? Well, they try to please each other, pay attention, seek to understand, and quickly learn what preferences or desires they need to let go of for each other’s peace of mind. Those little sacrifices cause minimal discomfort since they’re expected and mutual; they soon turn into goodwill towards one another. Over time, familiarity strengthens all inclinations that it doesn’t extinguish, gradually leading to a genuine friendship and tender trust, which, when combined with respect, I believe forms the true foundation of happiness in marriage.
The illusions of love, I will allow, are more engaging; but don’t we well know they are not so lasting? And what dangers does not their destruction bring on! Then the most trivial faults become shocking and intolerable, being contrasted with the ideas of perfection which had seduced us. Each then thinks the other is only altered, and they themselves of as much worth as in the first instant the error took its rise. They are astonished they can no longer create the charm they experienced; they are humbled; vanity is hurt, the mind is soured, injuries augmented, which bring on peevishness, and is succeeded by hatred; thus frivolous pleasures are repaid by long misfortunes.
The illusions of love, I’ll admit, are more captivating; but don’t we all know they don’t last? And what dangers come with their downfall! Suddenly, the smallest flaws become shocking and unbearable when compared to the perfect image that had lured us in. Each person thinks the other has changed, while they believe they are still as valuable as they were when the delusion first took hold. They’re shocked that they can’t recreate the magic they once felt; they feel diminished; their vanity is bruised, their mood is sour, grievances multiply, leading to irritability, and eventually, to hatred. So, trivial pleasures end up costing us long periods of misfortune.
I have now given you, my dear friend, my thoughts on this subject. I do not insist on them, only lay them before you:—you are to decide. Should you persist in your opinion, I shall only beg to know the reasons that combat mine. I shall be happy to be set right by you, and, above all, to be made easy on the fate of that lovely child, whose happiness I so ardently wish, not only for my particular friendship for her, but also for that which unites me to you for ever.
I’ve shared my thoughts on this subject with you, my dear friend. I’m not insisting on them; I’m simply presenting them for your consideration—you get to decide. If you continue to hold your view, I would just like to know the reasons that oppose mine. I’d be glad to be corrected by you and, more importantly, to feel reassured about the future of that beautiful child, whose happiness I wish for so passionately, not only because of my special friendship with her but also because of the bond that connects me to you forever.
Paris, Oct. 4, 17—.
Paris, Oct. 4, 1717—.
LETTER CV.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to CECILIA VOLANGES.
The Marchioness de Merteuil to Cecilia Volanges.
Well, my dear little creature, you are very much vexed and ashamed; and this same Valmont is a wicked man, is he not? How is all this? He dared behave to you as he would to the woman he loved best! He has taught you what you was going mad to know! Upon my word, such proceedings are unpardonable. And you, like a good girl, would have kept your chastity for your lover, who would not attempt it; you cherish the torments of love only, but not its pleasures. Why this is charming; and you will make a conspicuous figure in a romance. Love, misfortunes, and virtue in abundance! Lord! what a deal of fine things! In the midst of this brilliant train, it is true, one may have nothing to do, but they may repay themselves.
Well, my dear little one, you’re feeling quite upset and embarrassed; and this Valmont is indeed a wicked man, isn’t he? What’s going on? He dared to treat you like he would the woman he loves the most! He has shown you what you were desperate to learn! Honestly, such behavior is unforgivable. And you, being a good girl, would have saved your purity for your lover, who wouldn’t dare try anything; you nurture only the pains of love, but not its joys. How delightful; you’ll make quite a memorable character in a romance. Love, hardships, and plenty of virtue! My goodness, what a lot of wonderful things! In the midst of all this spectacle, it’s true that one might feel powerless, but they can certainly take their revenge.
How the poor little thing is to be pitied! her eyes were sunk the next morning! What will you say, then, when your lover’s will be so? My dear angel, you will not be always so; all men are not Valmonts: and again; not dare lift up your eyes! Oh, there you was very right; every one would have read your adventure in them. Believe me, however, if it was so, our women and our young ladies even would assume more modest countenances.
How we should feel sorry for her! Her eyes were so sunken the next morning! What will you say when your lover's look is like that? My dear angel, you won't always feel this way; not all men are like Valmont. And again, don't you dare lift your eyes! Oh, you were right about that; everyone would have seen your story in them. Believe me, though, if it were true, our women and even our young ladies would take on more modest expressions.
Notwithstanding the praises you perceive I am obliged to give you, yet you must agree you failed in your master piece, which was to tell all to your mama. You had begun so well; you had flung yourself in her arms; you sobbed and cried. What a pathetic scene! What a pity you did not complete it! Your tender mama, overjoyed, and to assist your virtue, would have shut you up in a convent for life; and there you might have loved Danceny as much as you pleased, without a rival, and without any sin; you might be afflicted at your leisure; Valmont would not certainly have come to trouble your affliction with his naughty amusements.
Despite all the compliments I feel I have to give you, you have to admit that you failed in your masterpiece, which was to tell everything to your mom. You started off so well; you threw yourself into her arms and sobbed and cried. What a dramatic scene! It’s such a shame you didn’t follow through! Your loving mom, overjoyed, would have sent you to a convent for life to help protect your virtue; and there, you could have loved Danceny as much as you wanted, without any competition and without any guilt; you could have sulked to your heart's content; Valmont definitely wouldn’t have come to disturb your sadness with his mischievous antics.
But seriously, is it possible to be so childish, and turned of fifteen, as you are! You are much in the right to say, you are scarcely worthy my care; yet I wish to be your friend: you want one with the mother you have, and the husband she intends for you; but if you do not improve more, what can one make of you? What can be hoped, if what gives girls sense and understanding, deprives you of them.
But seriously, can you be this childish and immature at fifteen? You're right to say that you hardly deserve my concern; still, I want to be your friend. You need someone to support you with your mother and the husband she's planning for you. But if you don't change or grow, what can be done with you? What can be expected if what usually helps girls gain wisdom and understanding is causing you to lose them?
If you could once bring yourself to reflect for a moment, you would soon discover, you would rather congratulate yourself than grieve: but you are ashamed; and that hurts you. Compose yourself; the shame that follows love is like the pain; you suffer it but once. It may be feigned afterwards, but is never felt: and yet the pleasure remains, and you will own that is of consequence. I think I can even pick out among your nonsense, you lay some stress on it. Come, be honest; that uneasiness that prevented you from doing as you said; that made you find it so difficult to struggle; that made you, as it were, vexed, when Valmont went away; was it shame or pleasure occasioned it? And his manner of speaking, to which one did not know how to answer, did it not proceed from his manner of doing? Ah, little girl! you tell a lie to your friend; that’s not right: but enough of that.
If you could just take a moment to think, you’d realize that you’d rather be proud of yourself than feel sad: but you’re embarrassed, and that hurts. Pull yourself together; the shame that comes after love is like pain; you only feel it once. It might seem fake later, but it’s never truly felt: still, the joy remains, and you know that matters. I can even tell that you put some emphasis on it amidst your confusion. Come on, be honest; that discomfort that stopped you from doing what you said; that made it so hard to fight; that made you, in a way, upset when Valmont left; was it shame or pleasure that caused it? And didn’t his way of speaking, which left you speechless, come from his way of acting? Ah, little girl! you’re lying to your friend; that’s not fair: but let’s leave that for now.
What above every thing to any one else is nothing more than pleasure, in your situation is real happiness. Being so circumstanced with a mother, whose affection is of so much importance, and a lover whom you wish ever to enjoy, can you not plainly see the only means to unite successfully those opposite interests is to bring in a third? Drawn off by this new adventure, whilst you will seem to your mama to sacrifice submissively to her will, a passion that was not agreeable to her, you will establish with your lover the honour of having made a fine resistance. Assuring him constantly of your affections, you must not grant him the convincing proofs. Those refusals, which are so trifling in your situation, he will not fail to attribute to virtue; he may, perhaps, repine, but his love will increase; and to enjoy the double merit of sacrificing to the one your affection, and to the other only to resist its force, it will cost nothing more than the enjoyment of its delights. How many women have lost their reputation, who would have anxiously preserved it, had they such a field.
What is just pleasure to anyone else is real happiness for you. Given your situation with a mother whose affection matters so much and a lover you want to keep, can’t you see that the only way to successfully bring together those conflicting interests is to introduce a third party? By getting involved in this new adventure, while appearing to your mom to yield to her wishes by letting go of a passion she disapproves of, you'll gain the honor of having made a strong stand with your lover. Keep assuring him of your feelings, but don’t give him too much proof of them. Those small refusals, which seem insignificant in your case, he will likely interpret as virtue; he might feel upset, but his love will only grow. To enjoy the double benefit of sacrificing your affection for one and just resisting the pull of the other won’t cost you more than relishing its pleasures. How many women have lost their reputation who would have eagerly preserved it if they had such an opportunity?
Does not this scheme appear the most feasible as well as the most delightful to you? Do you know what you have got by the one you have taken? Your mama attributed your immoderate grief to your increase of love, and was so enraged, that she only waited to be convinced, in order to punish you. I have just received a letter from her. She will attempt every method to extract the avowal from yourself. She writes me, she may, perhaps, even go so far as to propose Danceny to you for a husband, and this only to make you speak out. If, seduced by this affectation of tenderness, you should open your heart, she would shut you up for a long time, perhaps, for ever, to deplore at leisure your blind credulity.
Doesn't this plan seem both the most practical and the most enjoyable for you? Do you realize what you've lost with the choice you've made? Your mom blamed your excessive sadness on your growing feelings, and she was so angry that she just needed a reason to punish you. I just got a letter from her. She'll try everything to get you to confess. She mentioned that she might even go so far as to suggest Danceny as a husband for you, all just to get you to talk. If, swayed by this show of affection, you open up, she could keep you shut away for a long time, maybe even forever, letting you regret your naive trust.
This scheme she intends to execute against you must be counteracted by another. Begin, then, to be more cheerful, to make her believe you do not think so much of Danceny. She will be the more easily prevailed on to believe it, as it is the usual effect of absence; and she will be the more pleased with you, as she will applaud herself for her prudence which suggested the method. If she should still have her doubts, should persist in sounding you, and should come to mention matrimony, abide, like a prudent girl, in your absolute submission for you risk nothing; as to a husband, one is always as good as another; the most troublesome is not more so than a mother.
This plan she has against you needs to be countered by another. So, start being more cheerful and make her think you don’t care that much about Danceny. It’ll be easier for her to believe it since that’s the usual effect of distance, and she’ll appreciate you more as she’ll congratulate herself on her wise choice. If she still has doubts, keeps probing you, and brings up marriage, just play it smart and show complete submission; you have nothing to lose. A husband is pretty much the same as any other; the most difficult one isn’t more challenging than a mother.
When your mama is once better pleased, she will have you married; then, being more free in your proceedings, you can, if you please, quit Valmont to have Danceny, or even keep both; for observe, Danceny is agreeable, it is true, but he is one of those men one can have when they please, and as often as they please; so you may be easy as to him.—Not so with Valmont; it is dangerous to quit him, and difficult to keep him; one must be very skilful, or very tractable: if you could, however, attach him as a friend, you would be happy indeed. He would elevate you to the first rank among the modish women; that is the way to gain consistency in life, and not sit blushing and crying as if your nuns had made you eat your dinner on your knees.
When your mom is happier, she'll want you to get married; then, once you're freer to do what you want, you can choose to leave Valmont for Danceny, or even keep both options open. After all, Danceny is charming, that's true, but he's someone you can have whenever you want and as often as you like, so you can relax about him. Not so with Valmont; it's risky to leave him and tough to hang on to him; you have to be really clever or go with the flow. However, if you could connect with him as a friend, you would be really happy. He would elevate you to the top tier among fashionable women; that's how you achieve stability in life, not by sitting there blushing and sobbing as if your teachers made you eat your dinner on your knees.
If you are prudent, you will then endeavour to make it up with Valmont, who must be very angry with you: as you must learn to repair your folly, do not be afraid to make him some advances; you will soon learn, that although the men make the first to us, we are always obliged to make the second. You will have a pretence for it, for you must not keep this letter; and I require you will deliver it to Valmont as soon as you have read it. Do not forget to seal it again, however, before you give it: for, in the first place, I want to leave the whole merit of this proceeding to yourself, that it should not carry the appearance of an advice; moreover, I do not know any one I have so much friendship for, as to write as I do to you.
If you’re wise, you should try to make amends with Valmont, who is probably very upset with you. Since you need to learn to fix your mistakes, don’t hesitate to reach out to him; you’ll soon realize that while men may make the first move, we always have to make the next one. You have a good reason to do this, as you can't keep this letter. I need you to give it to Valmont as soon as you've read it. Just remember to seal it again before handing it over; for one thing, I want all the credit for this to go to you, so it doesn’t seem like advice. Also, I can’t think of anyone I have as much friendship for as I do with you.
Adieu! my charming angel! follow my advice, and let me know how it succeeds.
Goodbye, my lovely angel! Take my advice, and let me know how it goes.
P. S. Now I think on’t, I had like to forget—A word more—Take a little more care in your style of writing; you always write so like a child; I know from whence it proceeds; you always write as you think, but do not study what you ought to say: that may do very well between you and me, who should not have any secrets from one another; but with every one else, particularly with your lover, it looks so foolish. You must observe, when you write to any one, it is for them, and not for yourself: you must endeavour, then, to write to please them, and not give them your thoughts.
P.S. Now that I think about it, I almost forgot—Just one more thing—Pay a bit more attention to your writing style; you always write like a child. I understand why; you write exactly how you think, but you don't consider what you should be saying. That might be fine between us, since we shouldn't have any secrets, but with everyone else, especially your partner, it just looks silly. Remember, when you write to someone, it's for them, not for you. So, you should try to write in a way that pleases them, instead of just sharing your thoughts.
Adieu! my heart! I embrace you, instead of being angry, in hopes you will be more rational.
Adieu! My heart! I hug you, instead of getting upset, hoping you’ll be more reasonable.
Paris, Oct. 4, 17—.
Paris, Oct. 4, 1717—.
LETTER CVI.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The Mademoiselle de Merteuil to the Viscount Valmont.
Admirable, my dear Viscount! now I love you to distraction; after the first of your two letters, I might well expect the second, which did not much surprise me; although you were so proud of your future success as to solicit the reward, and ask me if I was ready, I foresaw there was no necessity for all that expedition. Yes, upon honour, perusing the recital of your tender scene, that had affected you so much; and reflecting on your modesty, worthy the most glorious days of chivalry, I exclaimed, “The opportunity is lost!” How could it be otherwise? What would you have a poor woman do, who surrenders, and will not be accepted? Why, faith, in such a circumstance, appearances must be saved, and that is only what your Presidente has done. For my part, I very well know, the step she has taken has its effect, and intend to follow the example on the first serious occasion that offers; but I swear, if whoever I take this trouble for does not make a better use of it than you have done, he may certainly renounce me for ever.
Admirable, my dear Viscount! Now I love you to distraction; after the first of your two letters, I could easily expect the second, which didn’t surprise me much; even though you were so proud of your future success that you asked for a reward and wondered if I was ready, I predicted there was no need for all that urgency. Yes, honestly, reading about your touching scene that had affected you so much; and thinking about your modesty, worthy of the most glorious days of chivalry, I exclaimed, “The opportunity is lost!” How could it be any other way? What do you expect a poor woman to do, who surrenders, and isn’t accepted? Well, honestly, in such a situation, appearances must be maintained, and that’s exactly what your Presidente has done. For my part, I know very well that the step she has taken has its impact, and I plan to follow her example at the first serious opportunity that arises; but I swear, if whoever I do this for doesn’t make better use of it than you have, he can definitely give up on me forever.
Thus are you reduced, positively, to a mere nothing! by two women, one of which was fixed for the next day, and the other wished for nothing so much! Well, you will be apt to think I boast, and say it is easy to prophecy after the event; but I swear I expected it; for you really have no genius for your profession; you barely know what you have learned; you have no invention; when circumstances do not assist your formalities of custom, and you are obliged to go out of the common road, you stop short like a school-boy; to sum up all, a childishness on the one hand, a return of prudery on the other, because they are not every day experienced, are enough to disconcert you; you neither know how to remedy or prevent them. Ah, Viscount! Viscount! you teach me not to judge men by their success, and we must soon say of you, “he was brave such a day.” When you commit blunder on blunder, why then you fly to me—One would imagine I have nothing else to do but retrieve your follies: it is certainly work enough for any one person.
Thus, you've been reduced to nothing! by two women, one of whom was set for tomorrow, and the other wanted nothing more! Well, you might think I'm bragging and say it's easy to predict after the fact; but I swear I saw this coming; you truly have no talent for your job; you barely know what you've learned; you lack creativity; when situations don’t align with your usual methods, and you have to step off the beaten path, you freeze like a schoolboy. To sum it up, a childishness on one side and a return to prudishness on the other, because they're not everyday experiences, are enough to throw you off balance; you don't know how to fix or avoid them. Ah, Viscount! Viscount! you teach me not to judge people by their success, and soon we'll be saying of you, “he was brave on such and such a day.” When you mess up over and over, then you come running to me—One would think I have nothing else to do but fix your mistakes: it’s certainly work enough for anyone.
However, as to those two adventures; the one was undertaken contrary to my inclination;—the other, as you have paid some attention to my wishes, I take on myself.
However, regarding those two adventures; one was done against my will;—the other, since you have considered my wishes, I will take on myself.
Read first the enclosed letter, then give it to the little Volanges; it is more than sufficient to recall her; but I beg you will pay some attention to this child; let us join together to make her the greatest curse and affliction of her mother and Gercourt: there is no danger in giving her large doses; I see plainly the little thing will not be frightened; and, our scheme once completed, she may act as she pleases.
Read the enclosed letter first, then give it to the little Volanges; it’s more than enough to get her back; but please pay some attention to this child; let’s work together to make her the biggest problem and misery for her mother and Gercourt: there’s no risk in giving her a lot; I can clearly see the little one won’t be scared; and once we’ve carried out our plan, she can do whatever she wants.
I shall be totally unconcerned about her. I had some thoughts of making her a subaltern intriguer, to take her to play the second parts under me; but I perceive she has no genius; she has a kind of foolish openness that has not given way to the specific you administered, which, however, seldom fails; and, in my opinion, it is the most dangerous disorder a woman can possibly have; it marks, more than any thing, a weakness of temper, which opposes every thing, and which is almost always incurable; so that our time would be lost in forming this little girl for intrigue, as, at best, she never will be more than a comeatable woman. I don’t know any thing so insipid, as that stupid facility, that makes a woman compliant without knowing why or wherefore; only because she is attacked, and knows not how to resist; those sort of women are absolutely mere machines. You will say, that is all we want; and that is sufficient for our purpose. Be it so: but it must not be forgot, that every one soon becomes acquainted with the springs and contrivers of those machines; so that to use this one, without bad consequences, we must lose no time, stop when necessary, and afterwards break it. We shall not be at a loss to get rid of her, and Gercourt will be ready to cloister her when we please. When he can no longer doubt his disaster, when it will be public and notorious, what matters it us if he revenges himself, provided he is inconsolable? What I say of the husband, I dare say you think the same of the mother; therefore look it as done.
I won’t worry about her at all. I considered making her a subordinate player, someone to work under me, but I can see she lacks talent. She has a sort of foolish openness that hasn't been affected by the specific influence you applied, which usually works. In my view, that openness is the most dangerous flaw a woman can have; it signifies a weakness of character that stands against everything and is nearly always incurable. So, our time would be wasted trying to train this girl in deceit because, at best, she will only ever be a woman who can be seduced. I find nothing as dull as that mindless compliance that makes a woman follow along without understanding why; she simply submits when attacked and doesn’t know how to push back. Those types of women are just mindless machines. You might say that’s exactly what we need and it’s enough for our purpose. That may be true, but we must remember that people quickly figure out the mechanisms and masterminds behind those machines. So, to use this one without consequences, we need to act fast, know when to stop, and eventually dispose of her. We'll easily find a way to get rid of her, and Gercourt will be ready to shut her away whenever we want. When he can no longer deny his misfortune, when it becomes public knowledge, it doesn’t matter to us if he seeks revenge, as long as he’s heartbroken. I’m sure you think the same about the mother, so consider it done.
This measure, which I conceive to be the best, attracted my thoughts, made me resolve to lead on the young thing briskly, as you will perceive by my letter; it is also of the utmost consequence not to leave any thing in her possession that may commit us, which I beg you will attend to. This precaution observed, I take the morality on myself; the remainder is in your department; however, if we should hereafter find she improves, we shall always have time to alter our plan; which had like to have been the case, and that we should one time or other have been employed at what we are now about; but at all events our labour will not be lost.
This plan, which I believe is the best, caught my attention and made me decide to guide the young one energetically, as you’ll see in my letter. It’s also really important not to leave anything in her hands that could compromise us, which I ask you to keep in mind. If we follow this precaution, I’ll take responsibility for the moral aspects; the rest is up to you. However, if we find that she improves later on, we can always adjust our strategy; it almost happened that we could have been doing what we’re working on now at some point. But in any case, our efforts won’t be in vain.
I must, however, tell you, mine had like to be destroyed; and Gercourt’s good fortune had nearly overpowered my prudence. Madame de Volanges, in a fit of maternal fondness, was on the point of giving away her daughter to Danceny; from thence proceeded the remarkable tenderness you observed the next morning. This would have been still one of your master strokes. Fortunately the tender parent consulted me about it; and I expect my answer will give her a disrelish to it. I said so much in praise of virtue, and wheedled her so well, that I am sure she will be pleased with my reasons.
I have to tell you, mine almost got ruined; and Gercourt’s luck almost got the better of my caution. Madame de Volanges, caught up in a moment of motherly affection, was about to give her daughter to Danceny; that’s where the notable tenderness you noticed the next morning came from. This would have been another one of your clever moves. Luckily, the concerned parent asked for my opinion on it; and I believe my response will make her lose interest. I praised virtue so much and sweet-talked her so well that I'm sure she’ll be happy with my reasons.
I am sorry I had not time to take a copy of my letter, for your edification, on the austerity of my morals. You would there see how contemptible I hold those women of depraved principles who have lovers. Nothing so commodious, as to be a rigourist in convention; it only hurts others, and gives us no uneasiness. Moreover, I am informed the good lady has had her little foibles, as well as others, in her younger days. I was not sorry to humble her conscience, at least, which was some consolation for the praises I was obliged to give her against my own. It was thus, in the same letter, the idea of hurting Gercourt inspired me the resolution to speak well of him.
I'm sorry I didn't have time to take a copy of my letter for you to see how strict my morals are. In it, you'd notice how lowly I think of those women with questionable values who have lovers. There's nothing easier than being a strict traditionalist; it only harms others and doesn't cause us any discomfort. Besides, I've heard that the good lady has had her own little slip-ups in her youth, just like everyone else. I wasn't upset about giving her conscience a reality check, at least that was some comfort for the compliments I had to give her that went against my beliefs. Thus, in that same letter, the thought of hurting Gercourt motivated me to say nice things about him.
Adieu, Viscount! I approve much of your plan of remaining where you are for some time. I have no means for expediting your march: but I recommend you should employ your time with our pupil. As to myself, notwithstanding your polite summons, you find you must still wait, and you will agree with me it is not my fault.
Adieu, Viscount! I really support your decision to stay where you are for a while. I have no way to speed up your journey, but I suggest you spend your time with our student. As for me, despite your polite request, you see that you’ll still have to wait, and you’ll agree it’s not my fault.
Paris, Oct. 4, 17—.
Paris, Oct. 4, 17—.
LETTER CVII.
AZOLAN to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
AZOLAN to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
Sir,
Hey,
On receipt of your orders, I immediately waited on Mr. Bertrand, your honour’s steward, who paid me twenty-five louis d’ors, as your honour had ordered. I asked him for two more for Philip, who was to set off immediately, as your honour had ordered, and who had no money; but your steward would not give them, as he said he had not any order from your honour to that purpose; so I was obliged to give them to myself, and which your honour will be pleased to observe.
On receiving your orders, I immediately went to see Mr. Bertrand, your steward, who paid me twenty-five louis d’ors, as you instructed. I asked him for two more for Philip, who was about to leave right away, as you requested, and who had no money; but your steward refused to give them, saying he hadn’t received any orders from you for that. So, I had to give them myself, which I hope you will take note of.
Philip set out last night. I recommended it to him strongly not to leave the inn, that you may find him when necessary.
Philip left last night. I strongly advised him not to leave the inn so you can find him when needed.
I went immediately after to Madame the Presidente’s, to see Mademoiselle Julie: but she was abroad, and I could only speak to La Fleure, from whom I could not get any intelligence, because he has been always abroad since his return only at meal times. It is the second that has always attended table, and your honour knows I had no acquaintance with him: but I began to-day.
I went right after to Madame the Presidente’s to see Mademoiselle Julie, but she was out, and I could only talk to La Fleure. I couldn’t get any information from him because he’s only been around during mealtime since he came back. It's the second one that always attends the table, and you know I didn’t know him before today, but I started to get acquainted.
I returned this morning to Mademoiselle Julie, and she seemed very glad to see me. I asked her concerning the reason of her mistress returning to town; she told me, she knew nothing of it, and I believe she spoke truth. I scolded her, because she did not tell me of their going away, and she declared she knew nothing of it till her mistress was going to bed; so she was obliged to sit up to settle every thing, and the poor girl had but two hours rest. She did not leave her mistress till past one; and she left her writing.
I came back this morning to see Mademoiselle Julie, and she looked really happy to see me. I asked her why her mistress had returned to town; she told me she didn’t know anything about it, and I believe she was being honest. I scolded her for not telling me about their departure, and she insisted she didn’t know anything until her mistress was getting ready for bed, so she had to stay up late to sort everything out, and the poor girl only got two hours of sleep. She didn't leave her mistress until after one, and she left her still writing.
In the morning Madame de Tourvel left a letter with the housekeeper. Mademoiselle Julie does not know for who: but imagined it was for your honour, but your honour said nothing of it to me. During the whole journey Madame had a great cloak over her, which hid her entirely; but Mademoiselle Julie thinks she cried very often. She did not speak a word during the whole journey, and she would not stop at ——,[1] as she did in coming; which was not very agreeable to Mademoiselle Julie, who had not breakfasted: but, as I said, masters will be masters.
In the morning, Madame de Tourvel left a letter with the housekeeper. Mademoiselle Julie doesn't know who it was for but figured it was for you; however, you didn't mention anything about it to me. Throughout the entire trip, Madame was covered by a big cloak that completely hid her, but Mademoiselle Julie thinks she cried a lot. She didn't say a word during the whole journey and wouldn’t stop at ——,[1] like she did on the way there, which wasn't very pleasant for Mademoiselle Julie, who hadn’t had breakfast. But, as I said, masters will be masters.
When they came to town, Madame went to bed for two hours. When she got up, she sent for the porter, and gave him orders not to admit any one. She did not make any toilette. She sat down to dinner, but only tasted a little soup, and went away directly. Her coffee was brought to her apartment. Mademoiselle Julie went in at the same time. She found her mistress settling some papers in her desk, and she could perceive they were letters. I would lay a wager they were your honour’s; and of the three she received the same evening, there was one she had before her late the same night. I am very certain it was one from your honour: but why should she come away that way, that astonishes me; but certainly your honour knows, and it is no business of mine.
When they arrived in town, Madame went to bed for a couple of hours. When she got up, she called for the porter and instructed him not to let anyone in. She didn’t bother to get ready. She sat down for dinner but only took a few sips of soup and left right away. Her coffee was brought to her room. Mademoiselle Julie walked in at the same time. She saw her boss organizing some papers in her desk and noticed they were letters. I bet they were from you; of the three she received that evening, one was the same one she had in front of her later that night. I’m pretty sure it was one from you, but why she left like that surprises me; but I’m sure you know, and it’s not my place to say.
Madame the Presidente went to the library in the evening, and took two books, which she carried into her dressing room: but Mademoiselle Julie declares she did not read a quarter of an hour the whole day, and that she did nothing but read the letter, muse, and lean on her arm. As I thought your honour would be glad to know what books they were, and that Mademoiselle Julie did not know, I made an excuse to go and see the library to-day: there is no void but for two books; one is the second volume of Christian Thoughts, and the other the first book of a work entitled Clarissa. I write as it was before me; your honour will certainly know what it is.
Madame the Presidente went to the library in the evening and took two books, which she brought into her dressing room. However, Mademoiselle Julie claims she didn’t read for more than a quarter of an hour all day, saying she just read the letter, pondered, and leaned on her arm. Since I thought you’d want to know what books they were and that Mademoiselle Julie didn’t know, I made an excuse to check out the library today: there are only two books missing; one is the second volume of Christian Thoughts, and the other is the first book of a work called Clarissa. I’m writing exactly what I saw; you’ll definitely know what it is.
Last night Madame had no supper, only took tea. This morning she rung early, and ordered her carriage immediately, and went before nine to mass at the Fenillant’s. She wanted to go to confession, but her confessor was not in the way, and will not return for eight or ten days. I thought it necessary to inform your honour of this. She then came home, breakfasted, and sat down to write, and stayed at it till near one o’clock. I then found an opportunity of doing what your honour wished most for, for I carried the letters to the post office. There was none for Madame de Volanges; but I send your honour one for Monsieur the President; I thought that might be the most necessary. There was one also for Madame de Rosemonde; but I thought your honour might see that whenever you had a mind, and I let it go. Besides, your honour will know all, as Madame the Presidente has wrote to him. Hereafter I can have all your honour pleases; for it is Mademoiselle Julie that almost always gives them to the servants, and she has promised me, that out of friendship to me as well as for your honour, she will do every thing I would have her. She would not even take the money I offered her; but I dare say your honour will make her some small present; and if it is your pleasure, and that you think proper, I shall soon know what will please her.
Last night, Madame didn’t have dinner; she just had tea. This morning, she rang early, ordered her carriage right away, and went to mass at the Fenillant’s before nine. She wanted to go to confession, but her confessor wasn’t available and won’t be back for eight or ten days. I thought it was important to let you know this. She then came home, had breakfast, and sat down to write, working on it until almost one o’clock. I then found a chance to do what you wanted most: I took the letters to the post office. There wasn’t any for Madame de Volanges, but I’m sending you one for Monsieur the President; I thought that would be the most important. There was also one for Madame de Rosemonde, but I figured you could see that whenever you liked, so I let it go. Besides, you’ll know everything since Madame the Presidente has written to him. In the future, I can have whatever you want; Mademoiselle Julie usually gives them to the servants, and she promised me that out of friendship for me and for you, she will do everything I ask. She wouldn’t even accept the money I offered her, but I’m sure you’ll give her a small gift, and if you’d like, I’ll soon find out what she would appreciate.
I hope your honour will not think me negligent in your service. I have it much at heart to be clear of the reproaches made me. It was my zeal for your honour’s service was the reason of my not knowing Madame the Presidente’s departure, because your honour ordered me to set out at three in the morning, which hindered me from seeing Mademoiselle Julie at night as usual, as I went to sleep with the ostler, that I might not disturb the people in the castle.
I hope you won’t think I’m being careless in serving you. I really care about getting rid of the criticisms directed at me. My enthusiasm for your service is why I didn’t know about Madame the Presidente’s departure, since you asked me to leave at three in the morning. That prevented me from seeing Mademoiselle Julie at night as I usually do, as I ended up sleeping with the stable hand so I wouldn’t disturb anyone in the castle.
As to what your honour says, I am often in want of money, it is because I always love to be decent, as your honour may see; besides, one must keep up the honour of the livery they wear. I know very well I ought to save something for a rainy day; but I depend entirely on your honour’s generosity, who has been so good a master.
As for what you say, I often find myself short on cash because I always like to present myself well, as you can see. Plus, I have to maintain the dignity of the uniform I wear. I know I should save something for tough times, but I rely completely on your generosity, as you've been such a great boss.
As to what your honour desires, of my entering into Madame de Tourvel’s service, and still remaining in yours, I hope your honour will not require it; it was quite different at the Duchess’s, for I certainly cannot stoop to wear a livery, and a lawyer’s livery, after having been your honour’s huntsman. As for all the rest, your honour may dispose as you please of him, who is, with the greatest respect and affection, his most humble and obedient servant,
As for what you want regarding my joining Madame de Tourvel’s service while still being in yours, I hope you won't insist on it; it was a completely different situation at the Duchess’s. I certainly can’t lower myself to wearing a uniform, especially a lawyer's uniform, after having served as your huntsman. As for everything else, you can do whatever you like with me, who is, with the utmost respect and affection, your most humble and obedient servant,
Roux Azolan, huntsman.
Paris, Oct. 5, at night.
Roux Azolan, hunter.
Paris, Oct. 5, at night.
LETTER CVIII.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
The President DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
My dear indulgent mother, what obligations do I not lay under to you! what comfort have I not received from your letter! I have read it over and over; I cannot lay it down; to it I owe the few moments of ease I have had since my departure. Your bounty, your virtue, your prudence can, then, compassionate my weakness. You pity my misfortunes. Ah! could you but be sensible of them—they are frightful. I imagined I had experienced the pangs of love; but the most excruciating, which must be felt to have any idea of it, is to be separated from the beloved object, for ever separated!—The anguish that sinks me to-day will again return to-morrow, the next day, all my life! Great God! I am yet but young, what a length of sufferings!
My dear, indulgent mom, what obligations do I not owe you! What comfort I have received from your letter! I have read it over and over; I just can’t put it down. It's the only thing giving me a moment of peace since I left. Your kindness, your goodness, your wisdom can surely understand my weakness. You feel sorry for my troubles. Oh! If only you could truly understand them—they're terrifying. I thought I knew the pain of love, but the worst feeling, the one that really makes you understand, is being forever separated from the one you love! The pain that crushes me today will come back tomorrow, and the next day, for the rest of my life! Oh my God! I’m still so young; what a long road of suffering ahead!
To be the cause of one’s own misery; to tear one’s heart with their own hands; and during those insupportable torments, to know one can put a period to them with a word, and that word to be criminal!—Alas, my dear friend!—
To be the source of your own suffering; to break your own heart; and during those unbearable pains, to realize you can end them with just one word, and that word is wrong!—Oh, my dear friend!—
When I took the painful resolution to banish myself from him, I was flattered with the hope that absence would increase my strength and resolution. How fatally am I deceived! They seem to have totally abandoned me. I had more to struggle with, it’s true: but in my resistance I was not deprived of all resource; I could sometimes see him; often even not daring to look on him, I was sensible his eyes were fixed on me, they seemed to cheer my heart. But now in my dismal solitude, separated from all my heart held dear, lonely with my misfortunes, every moment of my painful existence is marked with tears, nothing to soften their bitterness, no consolation to mingle with my sacrifices; and those I have already made, render those I still must make more sorrowful.
When I made the painful decision to cut myself off from him, I was hopeful that being away would make me stronger and more determined. How tragically wrong I was! It feels like I've been completely abandoned. It’s true that I had more to fight against, but in my struggle, I still had some resources; I could occasionally see him, and sometimes, even when I didn’t dare to look at him, I could feel his gaze on me, which lifted my spirits. But now, in my gloomy isolation, cut off from everything I hold dear, alone with my troubles, every moment of my painful existence is filled with tears, nothing to ease their bitterness, no comfort to soothe my sacrifices; and the sacrifices I’ve already made only make the ones I still have to face even more sorrowful.
Even yesterday, how forcibly did I experience this! Among the letters brought me, there was one from him, which I distinguished from among the rest before they were delivered. I trembled—I rose involuntarily—scarce could conceal my emotion; and yet that state was not unpleasing. Soon after left alone, this deceitful pleasure fled, and left one more sacrifice to be made: for how could I open this letter, which I was impatient to read? Strange fatality! that the few consolations which offer are so many new privations to me; which are still made more intolerable by the idea that M. de Valmont shares them.
Even yesterday, I felt this so intensely! Among the letters that were brought to me, there was one from him that I recognized before it was even delivered. I was shaking—I stood up without thinking—barely able to hide my feelings; yet that feeling wasn't unpleasant. Soon after, when I was left alone, that deceptive pleasure disappeared, leaving me with yet another dilemma: how could I open this letter that I was so eager to read? What a strange twist of fate! The few comforts that come to me feel like just more losses; it's even worse knowing that M. de Valmont experiences them too.
It is out at last; that name that incessantly possesses me, that I had so much pain to write: the kind of reproach you gave me, has been truly alarming—I beseech you will be persuaded, no false shame has altered my confidence in you;—then why should I be afraid to name him? Ah! I am ashamed of my sentiments, but not of him who causes them. Where is there another so worthy to inspire them? Yet I can’t account why that name does not naturally flow from my pen; and even now, I could not write it without some pause: but to return to him. You write me, he appeared amazingly affected at my departure. What did he say then? What did he do? Did he talk of returning to Paris? I beg you will put him off it, if you possibly can. If he does me justice, he ought not to be angry with me for this step: but he must be sensible it is an irreversible resolution. One of my greatest tortures is to be ignorant of his thoughts. I still have his letter there—but you will certainly agree with me, I ought not to open it.
It’s finally out; that name that constantly haunts me, that I struggled so much to write: the kind of reproach you gave me has been genuinely alarming—I ask you to believe me, no false shame has changed my trust in you;—so why should I be scared to say his name? Ah! I’m embarrassed by my feelings, but not by him who inspires them. Where else is there someone so deserving to evoke them? Yet I can’t explain why that name doesn’t just come out when I write; and even now, I couldn’t write it without hesitating: but back to him. You told me he seemed amazingly affected at my departure. What did he say? What did he do? Did he mention coming back to Paris? I really hope you can talk him out of it if you can. If he thinks clearly, he shouldn’t be upset with me for this decision: but he must understand it’s a final choice. One of my biggest pains is not knowing his thoughts. I still have his letter here—but you’ll surely agree with me, I shouldn’t open it.
It is only through you, my most indulgent friend, I shall not be entirely separated from him. I will not abuse your goodness. I know well you must not write long letters: but you will not refuse a few words to your child, to assist her resolution, and console her. Adieu, my most respectable friend!
It’s only because of you, my kindest friend, that I won’t be completely cut off from him. I won’t take advantage of your generosity. I understand you can’t write long letters, but you won’t deny a few words to your child to help her stay strong and comfort her. Goodbye, my most esteemed friend!
Paris, Oct. 5, 17—.
Paris, Oct. 5, 1717—.
LETTER CIX.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Cecilia Volanges to the Marchioness de Merteuil.
Dear Madam, I did not deliver the letter you did me the honour to write me until this day to M. de Valmont. I kept it four days, often under great apprehensions lest it should be discovered; but concealed it carefully; and when a fit of dulness seized me, I locked myself up to read it again. I begin to think what I imagined so great a misfortune, is a trifling thing; I own there is a deal of pleasure in it; so that I begin to be tolerably easy. Nothing now gives me any trouble, but the idea of Danceny; I am often, that I do not think of him at all, and I believe it is because M. de Valmont is so engaging. I made it up with him two days ago; which was not at all difficult; for before I had scarcely spoke, he said, if I had any thing to tell him, he would come to my room at night if it was agreeable to me. As soon as he came, he was as good humoured as if I had not done any thing to vex him. He did not scold me till afterwards, and then very gently, but in such a manner—just as you used to do; which convinces me, he loves me very much.
Dear Madam, I finally delivered the letter you kindly wrote to me today to M. de Valmont. I held onto it for four days, often worried it would be discovered; but I kept it hidden carefully. Whenever I felt a bit down, I locked myself away to read it again. I’m starting to realize that what I once thought was such a huge misfortune is actually a minor issue; I admit there’s a lot of pleasure in it, so I’m beginning to feel fairly relaxed. The only thing that troubles me now is the thought of Danceny; there are times when I don’t think about him at all, and I believe it’s because M. de Valmont is so charming. I made up with him two days ago, which was quite easy; before I had even spoken, he said that if I had anything to tell him, he would come to my room at night if that was okay with me. As soon as he arrived, he was as cheerful as if I hadn’t upset him at all. He didn’t scold me until later, and even then it was very gently, but in a way that reminded me of how you used to do it; which proves to me that he cares for me a lot.
I cannot remember all the comical stories he told me, which I should never have believed, particularly about mama. I would be much obliged to you, if you would let me know if it is all true. I could not refrain from laughing; once I was ready to burst out, which frightened us both; for mama would have heard me, and then what would become of me! she would have infallibly shut me up in the convent.
I can't remember all the funny stories he told me, which I shouldn't have believed, especially about Mom. I would really appreciate it if you could tell me whether any of it is true. I couldn't help but laugh; once, I almost burst out laughing, which scared us both because Mom would have heard me, and then what would happen to me? She definitely would have sent me to the convent.
I must be prudent; and, as M. de Valmont says he would not run the risk of a discovery for all the world, we have agreed, hereafter he will only come, open the door, and we will go to his chamber. There will be no danger then; I was there last night: whilst I am writing to you, I expect him. Now, Madam, I hope you will not be angry with me. There is still something in your letter that surprises me a good deal; that is, in regard to Danceny and M. de Valmont when I am married. I think you told me at the opera, when once I was married, I should love no one but my husband, and I must even forget Danceny: may be I did not understand you right; and I would much rather it was otherwise, because I should not then be so much afraid of being married. I shall even wish for it, as I shall have the more liberty. I hope then matters may be so settled, that I shall have Danceny only to think of. I know very well I shall never be truly happy but with him; for the thoughts of him constantly disturb me; I have no peace but when I do not think of him, and that is not in my power; as soon as he comes in my head, I grow melancholy.
I need to be careful; and as M. de Valmont says he wouldn't risk being discovered for anything, we've agreed that from now on, he'll just come, open the door, and we'll go to his room. That way, there won't be any danger; I was there last night: while I'm writing to you, I'm expecting him. Now, Madam, I hope you won't be upset with me. There's still something in your letter that surprises me quite a bit; that's about Danceny and M. de Valmont when I'm married. I think you told me at the opera that once I was married, I should love no one but my husband, and I would need to forget Danceny: maybe I didn’t understand you correctly; and I would much prefer it to be different, because I wouldn’t then be so afraid of getting married. I'd even welcome it, as it would give me more freedom. I hope then things can be arranged so that I only have to think about Danceny. I know very well I will never be truly happy without him; because thoughts of him constantly trouble me; I find no peace unless I’m not thinking of him, and that’s not possible for me; as soon as he enters my mind, I feel sad.
My greatest consolation is, you promise me Danceny will love me the more for it: are you very sure of it? You would not deceive me, I know; however, it is very whimsical that it should be Danceny I love, and that M. de Valmont—but, as you say, may be it is all for the better. I do not well understand what you mention about my writing. Danceny likes my letters very well: I must not say any thing to him, I know, about what passes between M. de Valmont and me—you need not be uneasy about that.
My biggest comfort is that you promise me Danceny will love me more because of this. Are you really sure about that? You wouldn't lie to me, I know; still, it’s a bit strange that I'm in love with Danceny and that M. de Valmont— but, as you said, maybe it’s for the best. I don’t really understand what you mean about my writing. Danceny enjoys my letters a lot; I know I shouldn’t mention anything to him about what happens between M. de Valmont and me—you don’t need to worry about that.
Mama has not spoke yet about marriage; but when she does, since it is to ensnare me, I promise you I will know how to tell a lie.
Mama hasn't talked about marriage yet, but when she does, since it's meant to trap me, I promise I will know how to lie.
Adieu, my dear friend; I am very much obliged to you; I assure you I shall never forget your friendship: I must conclude, for it is almost one, and M. de Valmont will be here soon.
Goodbye, my dear friend; I'm really grateful to you; I promise I'll never forget your friendship: I have to wrap this up, as it's almost one, and M. de Valmont will be here soon.
Oct. 10, 17—.
Oct. 10, 2017—.
LETTER CX.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Ye heavenly powers! I have a soul formed for sorrow; grant me one for bliss.[1]. I think it is the tender Saint Preux, who thus expresses himself: more equally divided than he, I at once am possessed of both. I am, my dear friend, at once very happy and very miserable; since you are entirely in my confidence, I will relate my pains and pleasures.
You heavenly powers! I have a soul made for sorrow; grant me one for happiness.[1]. I think it’s the gentle Saint Preux who puts it this way: more balanced than he, I am filled with both at the same time. I am, my dear friend, both very happy and very miserable; since you know everything about me, I will share my joys and my struggles.
My ungrateful devotee still perseveres in her inflexibility; she has returned me four letters unopened—not four neither, for guessing that after the first, it would be followed by another, I resolved not to lose my time thus, to make my mournful complaints as common-place without a date, and since the second post, it is always the same letter goes and comes, I only change the cover. If my fair one ends as fair ones generally do, and will relent, at least through fatigue; she will at length keep it: then will be the time to renew the correspondence; you may guess this new method hurts my intelligence.—I have, however discovered the fickle woman has changed her confidant; I am certain at least since her leaving the castle, she has not wrote to Madame de Volanges; but has twice wrote to old Rosemonde. As she has not said any thing of it to us, and does not even mention her dear fair one, who she was incessantly talking of, I concluded she is appointed successor: I conjecture the necessity of talking of me on the one hand, and the shame of again assuming with Madame de Volanges, a subject so long disavowed, have produced this grand revolution: I am apprehensive I shall lose by the change; for the older women grow, the more morose and severe they are: the first would have said every thing evil of me, but the other will say more of the evils of love; and the sensible prude is more afraid of the passion than the Person. The only method to be informed is, as you will observe, to put a stop to the clandestine trade; I have already given my huntsman ample directions, and am hourly in expectation; until then, chance rules all. For these last eight days I have run over all manner of known methods, as also those of romances and secret memoirs, and cannot find a precedent neither for the circumstances of the adventure, or character of the heroine. The difficulty does not lie in getting into her house, even at night, or even to set her asleep as in Clarissa, but after two months of care and trouble, to be obliged to recur to such strange methods; follow the track others have left, and triumph without glory!—No, she shall not have the pleasure of vice and the honour of virtue.[2] It is not enough to possess her, she shall give herself up: to compass this, I must not only get in to her house, with her consent; find her alone, and inclined to listen to me; above all, blind her on her danger, for if she perceives it, she will overcome it or perish. The more convinced I am what is necessary to be done, the greater I find the difficulties in the execution; were you again to ridicule me, I will confess my embarrassment increases the more I think of it.
My ungrateful devotee is still stubborn; she’s returned four letters unopened—not just four, because after the first one, I figured there would be more, so I decided not to waste my time making my sad complaints feel repetitive and undated. Since the second post, it’s always the same letter going back and forth; I just change the envelope. If my charming one ends up like most do and eventually softens, maybe out of exhaustion, she’ll finally keep it. That’ll be the moment to restart our correspondence, but you can imagine how much this new approach frustrates me. However, I’ve discovered that the fickle woman has switched her confidant; I’m certain she hasn’t written to Madame de Volanges at all since leaving the castle but has contacted old Rosemonde twice. Since she hasn’t mentioned it to us and doesn’t even refer to her dear fair one, who she used to talk about nonstop, I assume Rosemonde is her new go-to. I suspect the need to talk about me on one side and the embarrassment of bringing up a long-denied topic with Madame de Volanges has caused this big shift. I’m worried I’ll suffer because of this change; the older women get, the more irritable and serious they become. The first would have said everything bad about me, but the other will focus more on the problems of love, and the sensible prude fears passion more than the person. The only way to find out is, as you’ll see, to put an end to the secret dealings; I’ve already given my hunter plenty of instructions and am eagerly waiting. Until then, chance rules everything. For the past eight days, I’ve tried every known method, including those from romances and secret memoirs, and can’t find a precedent for either the circumstances of this adventure or the character of the heroine. The challenge doesn’t lie in getting into her house, even at night, or lulling her to sleep like in Clarissa, but after two months of effort and trouble, I’m left with such strange methods; following the paths others have paved and succeeding without glory! No, she won’t have the pleasure of vice and the honor of virtue. It’s not enough to possess her; she has to give herself up. To achieve this, I have to not only get into her house with her consent but also find her alone and willing to listen to me; above all, I must blind her to the danger because if she sees it, she’ll either fight it off or be lost. The more I’m convinced of what needs to be done, the more I see how hard it is to execute; if you mock me again, I will admit my embarrassment grows the more I think about it.
I really believe I should have gone mad, were it not for the pleasing distraction our pupil gives me; my recreations with her are an antidote to melancholy.
I truly believe I would have gone crazy if it weren't for the enjoyable distraction our student provides; my activities with her are a cure for my sadness.
Would you believe it was three whole days before your letter had any effect on the little terrified creature? Thus one false idea is capable of destroying the best disposition.
Would you believe it took three whole days for your letter to impact the scared little creature? This shows how one wrong idea can ruin even the best intentions.
At length on Saturday she came about, began to mutter a few words, in such a low tone, and so inarticulate, with shame no doubt, it was almost impossible to understand her: her blushes, however, declared the business; until then, I assumed a consequential air, but soon softened by so pleasing a repentance, I condescended to promise the pretty penitent, to go to her at night; this favour was accepted with all the gratitude due to so great a kindness.
At last on Saturday, she changed her tune, starting to mumble a few words in such a low voice and so unclear that it was almost impossible to understand her, probably out of embarrassment. However, her blushes made it clear what was going on. Until then, I had acted quite self-important, but soon softened by her charming regret, I agreed to meet the lovely penitent that night. She accepted this favor with all the gratitude that such a big kindness deserved.
As I never lose sight of your schemes or my own, I resolved not to neglect this opportunity of coming at the intrinsic value of this child, also to accelerate her education. To be more at liberty to prosecute this business, it was necessary to change the place of rendezvous, for as there is only a closet which separates her room from that of her mother’s, she could not think herself sufficiently safe to indulge at her ease: I was determined then to contrive innocently, some noise which should frighten her, and make her resolve in future to accept a place of more safety, but she saved me the trouble.
Since I always keep an eye on your plans and my own, I decided not to miss this chance to understand the true value of this girl and to speed up her education. To have more freedom to pursue this, I needed to change the meeting spot because there’s only a closet separating her room from her mother’s, and she wouldn’t feel safe enough to relax. So, I was set on innocently creating some noise to scare her and push her to choose a safer place in the future, but she took care of that for me.
The little thing laughs much, and to keep up her spirits, I took it in my head between the acts, to tell her some scandalous adventures that occurred to me; to give them a greater relish, and fix her attention the more, I put them all to her mother’s account, who I loaded with vice and folly. My design in this, was to encourage my timid scholar, and inspire her with a most despicable opinion of her mother. I have always observed, that if this method was not always necessary for the seduction of a young girl, it is indispensable, even the most efficacious, to vitiate her; for she who has no respect for her mother, will never have any for herself: this moral truth, which I think so useful, I am glad to illustrate by an example to corroborate the precept. But your pupil, who did not dream of the moral, was every moment ready to burst with laughing, and once had like to have broke out. I had no difficulty to persuade her she made a great noise; I seemed much alarmed, so did she: that it might make the impression more forcible, I did not suffer pleasure to make its appearance again, but left her three hours sooner than usual, after having agreed to meet the next night in my chamber. I have already received her twice: in this short interval, the scholar is almost as learned as the master: yes, upon my word I have taught her every thing as far as the compliances: I have concealed nothing but the precautions.
The little thing laughs a lot, and to keep her spirits up, I decided between acts to share some scandalous tales from my life. To make them more entertaining and capture her attention, I blamed everything on her mother, piling on all sorts of vice and foolishness. My goal was to boost my shy student’s confidence and instill a low opinion of her mother. I've always noticed that while this tactic isn’t always necessary to seduce a young girl, it’s crucial and very effective in corrupting her; a girl who disrespects her mother will never respect herself. I think this moral truth is quite useful, and I’m glad to illustrate it with an example to support the lesson. But your student, who didn’t catch on to the moral, was practically bursting with laughter and nearly broke out at one point. I easily convinced her she was making too much noise; I pretended to be very concerned, and she did too. To make the impression stronger, I didn’t let the pleasure show again, leaving her three hours earlier than usual, after we agreed to meet in my room the next night. I've already seen her twice: in this short time, the student has become almost as knowledgeable as the teacher. Yes, I swear I’ve taught her everything except the precautions.
Being thus engaged all night, I sleep the greatest part of the day; and as, in the present state of the castle, I have nothing to attract me, I scarcely appear an hour in the day in the saloon. To-day I have taken the resolution to eat in my room—shall only leave it now and then for a short walk: those oddities will be imputed to my health; I have declared I was devoured with spleen; I have also talked of a little fever; it will be sufficient to speak in a weak and languid voice to make that go down; and for an alteration in my countenance, rely on your pupil, love will provide for it.[3] My leisure hours are taken up with the means of regaining the advantages I have lost over my ingrate, in competing a catechism of debauchery for the use of my scholar, wherein I call every thing by its technical name; I anticipate my joy on the very affecting conversation it will furnish between Gercourt and she the first night after their marriage. Nothing can be more diverting than the ingenuousness with which she expresses what little she knows of this language; she does not think people ought to speak otherwise; this is really enchanting; this contrast of simple candour, with the style of barefaced impudence, has its effect; and I do not know how it is, but of late nothing pleases me but oddities.
Engaged like this all night, I end up sleeping most of the day. Since there's nothing in the castle to draw me in, I hardly spend an hour in the lounge during the day. Today, I've decided to eat in my room—I'll only step out now and then for a short walk. People will think my strange behavior is due to my health; I've claimed I'm overcome with gloom; I've also mentioned a bit of a fever; speaking in a weak and tired voice should make that believable, and as for a change in my appearance, trust that love will take care of it.[3] My free time is spent figuring out how to regain the upper hand over my ungrateful rival. I'm working on a guide to debauchery for my student, where I call everything by its proper name. I can’t wait for the awkward conversations it will spark between Gercourt and her the first night after their wedding. Nothing is more entertaining than the straightforwardness with which she expresses her limited knowledge of this subject; she truly believes people should speak that way. It’s absolutely charming; this juxtaposition of innocence and shamelessness has its impact, and I don’t really know why, but lately, I'm only pleased by oddities.
I give too much way perhaps to this, as I commit my time and health; but I hope my feigned sickness may, besides saving me the disagreeable tediousness of the saloon, be of service with my austere devotee, whole ferocious virtue is still allied to tender sensibility! I make no doubt she is by this time informed of this great event, and I have a strong desire to know how she takes it, as I would venture to lay a wager she will take the honour of it to herself; I shall regulate the state of my health according to the impression it makes on her. Now, my charming friend, you have my whole story: I wish to have more interesting news for you; and I hope you will be persuaded, that I reckon on the reward I expect from you as a great share in the pleasure I promise myself.
I might be overthinking this, as I invest my time and well-being into it; but I hope my pretend illness will not only spare me the annoying boredom of the salon but also be beneficial to my strict devotee, whose fierce dedication is still connected to a gentle sensitivity! I'm sure she has heard about this big news by now, and I really want to know how she reacts. I bet she will take all the credit for it; I will manage my health based on her response. Now, my lovely friend, you know my entire situation: I wish I had more exciting news to share with you, and I hope you understand that I’m counting on the reward I expect from you as a significant part of the joy I anticipate.
Oct. 11, 17—.
Oct. 11, 17—.
[1] New Heloise.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ New Heloise.
[2] New Heloise.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ New Heloise.
[3] Regnard’s Amorous Follies.
Regnard's Amorous Follies.
LETTER CXI.
COUNT GERCOURT to MADAME DE VOLANGES.
Count Gercourt to Madame de Volanges.
Every thing in this country, Madam, has the most pacific appearance, and we daily expect orders to return to France. I hope you have not the least doubt of my eagerness for this return, to complete my union with Mademoiselle de Volanges and you. Yet the Duke of ——, my cousin, to whom you know I am under so many obligations, has just informed me of his recall from Naples. He writes me, his intention to come by Rome, and take in his way that part of Italy he has not seen. He requests I should accompany him on this journey, which will be of six weeks or two months. I will not conceal from you, it would be very agreeable to me to embrace this opportunity. For when once married, I shall not readily undertake any journeys but those the service will require; perhaps, it would be also more convenient to postpone the ceremony until winter, as all my relations will not be in Paris until then, particularly the Marquis de ——, to whom I am indebted for the hope of being allied to you. Notwithstanding those considerations, my resolutions on this matter shall be entirely governed by yours; and if you are not perfectly satisfied with this proposal, I instantly renounce mine. I only request you will do me the favour to inform me of your intentions. I shall wait your answer here, which will regulate my conduct.
Everything in this country, Madam, looks completely peaceful, and we expect to get orders to return to France any day now. I hope you have no doubt about how much I want to reunite with both Mademoiselle de Volanges and you. However, my cousin, the Duke of ——, to whom I owe so much, just told me he’s being recalled from Naples. He mentions that he plans to stop in Rome and visit parts of Italy he hasn’t seen yet. He’s asked me to join him on this trip, which will last six weeks to two months. I won’t hide from you that I would really enjoy taking this opportunity. Once I'm married, I won’t easily take any journeys except for those necessary for work; it might also be more practical to delay the ceremony until winter, as not all my relatives will be in Paris until then, especially the Marquis de ——, to whom I owe the hope of being connected to you. Despite these factors, my decisions on this matter will completely depend on yours; if you’re not fully satisfied with this proposal, I’ll immediately give it up. I just ask that you kindly let me know your thoughts. I’ll be waiting for your answer here, which will guide my actions.
I am, with great respect, and every sentiment due from a son,
I am, with deep respect, and all the feelings that a son should have,
your most humble servant,
Count de Gercourt.
Bastia, Oct. 10, 17—.
your humble servant,
Count de Gercourt.
Bastia, Oct. 10, 17—.
LETTER CXII.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE to the President de Tourvel.
(Dictated only.)
(Dictated only.)
This instant, my lovely dear, I received your letter of the 11th,[1] and the mild reproaches it contains. You must confess you intended to make many more; if you had not recollected my title of mother, you would have given me a scolding. That would have been very unjust. It was my hope and wish, to have been able to answer you myself, which made me defer it daily; yet, after all, you see I am obliged to employ my waiting woman’s hand, to do me that office. The abominable rheumatism has again seized me; it has this time taken its residence in my right arm, so I am absolutely deprived of its use. This is the consequence of such a young blooming creature’s having old friends; they suffer from our disorders.
This moment, my dear, I received your letter from the 11th,[1] and the gentle criticisms it includes. You have to admit you meant to include many more; if you hadn’t remembered that I’m your mother, you would have scolded me. That would have been quite unfair. I really hoped to respond myself, which is why I kept putting it off. But, as you can see, I’m forced to have my maid write this for me. The terrible rheumatism has struck again; this time it has settled in my right arm, leaving me unable to use it. This is the downside of having young, vibrant friends; they end up suffering because of our ailments.
As soon as my pains will give me any relief, assure yourself I will have a long chat with you. In the mean time I must acquaint you, I received both your letters. If it was possible, they would have redoubled my friendship for you; and that I shall never cease taking a lively share in every thing that concerns you.
As soon as my pain lets up, you can count on me to have a long chat with you. In the meantime, I need to let you know that I've received both of your letters. If it were possible, they would have only strengthened my friendship for you, and I will always be genuinely interested in everything that matters to you.
My nephew is also a little indisposed; but it is not of any consequence, and need not give any uneasiness. It is a slight indisposition, which seems to affect his temper more than his health. We scarcely ever see him now.
My nephew is also not feeling great; but it's nothing serious and shouldn't cause any worry. It's just a minor issue that seems to be affecting his mood more than his health. We hardly see him these days.
His retreat, and your departure, will not much enliven our little circle. The little Volanges has an immense deal of chat, and yawns all day, as if she would swallow you; for these few days especially, she does us the honour to fall into a profound sleep every evening.
His leaving, and your departure, won't really brighten up our small group. Little Volanges talks a lot and yawns all day, as if she could swallow you whole; especially these last few days, she has had the honor of falling into a deep sleep every evening.
Adieu, my lovely dear! I am ever your sincere friend, your mama, your sister even, if my great age would allow me the title. I am, in few words, most tenderly attached to you.
Adieu, my lovely dear! I am always your true friend, your mom, your sister even, if my old age permits me that title. In short, I’m very deeply connected to you.
Signed, Adelaide, for Madame de Rosemonde.
From the castle of ——, Oct. 14, 17—.
Signed, Adelaide, for Madame de Rosemonde.
From the castle of ——, October 14, 17—.
[1] This letter was never found.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ This letter was never found.
LETTER CXIII.
MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the Viscount Valmont.
I think it time to inform you, Viscount, the world begin to talk of you. Your absence from Paris is remarked, and the cause guessed. I was yesterday at a public supper, which was very numerous; where it was positively asserted, you was detained in a village by an unfortunate romantic amour. Joy was instantly visible on the countenance of all those envious of your successes, and of all the women you have neglected. Believe me, you should not suffer such dangerous reports to gain ground, and should immediately return to destroy them by your presence.
I think it's time to let you know, Viscount, that people are starting to talk about you. Your absence from Paris hasn't gone unnoticed, and everyone is making guesses about why you're not here. I was at a large public dinner yesterday, where it was confidently claimed that you were stuck in a village because of an unfortunate romantic affair. You could see the joy on the faces of those who envy your success and all the women you've ignored. Believe me, you shouldn't let these dangerous rumors spread, and you should come back right away to put an end to them with your presence.
Remember, if you once lose the reputation of irresistible, you will soon more readily find resistance; your rivals will lose the respect they had for you, and will dare you; for is there one amongst them who does not think himself more powerful than virtue? But, above all, remember, among the number of women you have held up to public view, all those you have not had, will attempt to undeceive the public, whilst the others will use every means to abuse it. To sum up all, you must expect to be rated, perhaps, as much beneath your value, as you have hitherto been above it.
Remember, if you lose your reputation for being irresistible, you'll soon find that people resist you more easily; your rivals will lose their respect for you and will challenge you. Is there anyone among them who doesn’t think they’re stronger than virtue? But most importantly, consider that among all the women you’ve shown off, those you haven’t been with will try to expose the truth, while the others will do everything they can to tarnish it. In short, you should expect to be evaluated as much lower than your worth as you’ve been considered above it until now.
Return then, Viscount, and no longer sacrifice your reputation to a puerile whim. You have done all we wanted with the little Volanges; and as for your Presidente, it is not very probable you will do your business with her at ten leagues distance. Do you imagine she will go after you? Perhaps she no longer thinks of you, or thinks of you only to felicitate herself for having humbled you. But here you would find some opportunity of appearing with eclat, and you really want it. If even you should continue obstinate in your ridiculous adventure, I can’t see how your return would hurt you—on the contrary.
Return now, Viscount, and stop sacrificing your reputation to a childish whim. You've accomplished everything we wanted with the young Volanges; as for your Presidente, it's unlikely you'll handle things with her from ten leagues away. Do you think she'll chase after you? Maybe she no longer thinks about you, or only does so to take pride in having humbled you. But here, you'd find a chance to make a grand impression, and you really need that. Even if you stubbornly stick to your silly quest, I can't see how returning would harm you—in fact, it would likely be beneficial.
For if your Presidente adores you, as you have so often told me, but never yet proved, her only consolation, her sole pleasure, ought now to be to speak of you, to know what you do, what you say, what you think, even the most trifling matter about you. Those wretched fooleries are of some consequence, according to the privations that are experienced. They are the crumbs falling from the table of the rich man, which he despises; but which the poor one collects with avidity, and feeds on. So the poor Presidente at present receives those crumbs; and the more she has of them, she will be less greedy for the rest. Moreover, as you know her confidant, there is no doubt but every letter contains a little exhortation to corroborate her prudence, and strengthen her virtue. Why will you then leave resources to the one for her defence, and power to the other to hurt you.
For if your President adores you, as you’ve told me many times but never actually shown, her only comfort, her only joy, should be to talk about you, to know what you do, what you say, what you think, even the smallest details about you. Those pathetic little things matter, given the hardships that are endured. They are like the crumbs that fall from the table of the rich man, which he ignores; but the poor person eagerly collects and feasts on. So the poor President is currently getting those crumbs; and the more she receives, the less she craves the rest. Furthermore, since you know her confidant, there’s no doubt that every letter includes a bit of encouragement to reinforce her wisdom and strengthen her integrity. So why would you leave resources for one to defend herself, and give power to the other to harm you?
Not that I am in the least of your opinion on the loss you think you sustain by the change of confidant; for Madame de Volanges detests you, and hatred is always more ingenious and clear sighted than friendship. Your old aunt’s virtue will never permit her to slander her dear nephew, for virtue has its foibles. Again, your fears lead you into an error. It is not true, that the older women grow, the more morose and severe they are. It is from forty to fifty that grief for faded beauties rage, to be forced to abandon pretensions and pleasures to which the mind is still attached, make almost all women peevish and ridiculous. It is necessary they should have this long interval to prepare for this great sacrifice: but when it is once completed, they divide into two classes.
Not that I share your view on the loss you think you experience due to the change in your confidant; Madame de Volanges genuinely dislikes you, and hatred is always more clever and perceptive than friendship. Your old aunt’s integrity will never allow her to speak ill of her beloved nephew, as virtue has its quirks. Furthermore, your fears lead you to a misunderstanding. It’s not true that the older women get, the more gloomy and strict they become. From ages forty to fifty, the pain of lost youth can cause many women to become irritable and ridiculous as they struggle to let go of the ambitions and pleasures they’re still attached to. They need a long period to prepare for this significant sacrifice; but once that’s done, they split into two groups.
The most numerous, which are those who never possessed any thing but youth and beauty, fall into a weak apathy, from which they never recover but for play and a few practical devotions; that class is always tiresome, often morose, sometimes marplots, but rarely mischievous. It is not easy to determine whether those women are or are not severe; without ideas, or in a manner without existence, they repeat indifferently, and without comprehending, every thing they hear; and are, as to themselves, non entities.
The most common people, who only have youth and beauty, fall into a dull apathy that they hardly ever escape from, except for games and a few practical routines. This group is usually boring, often gloomy, occasionally disruptive, but rarely harmful. It's hard to tell if these women are strict or not; lacking ideas, or in a sense lacking existence, they mindlessly repeat everything they hear without understanding it, and are essentially non entities.
The other class, much more uncommon, but truly valuable, are those of good disposition, who having cultivated their minds, can create themselves an existence, when nature fails; and can, when the embellishments of the outward figure are useless, place them to their minds. Those women have most commonly a sound judgment, and a mind replete with solidity, good humour, and kindness.—They replace the seducing charms with attractive goodness and cheerfulness, whose charms increase with their years. Thus they may be said in some shape to renew their age, by gaining the affections of the youthful part of society. But far from being what you call morose and severe; the habits of indulgence, the long reflections on human nature, but especially the remembrance of youth, by which alone they have a relish for life, would rather make them too condescending.
The other group, much rarer but truly valuable, consists of those with a good disposition, who, after developing their minds, can create a fulfilling existence when nature falls short; and who, when outward beauty loses its appeal, turn to their intellect. These women typically have sound judgment and possess a mind full of depth, good humor, and kindness. They replace seductive charms with appealing goodness and cheerfulness, whose appeal grows with age. In this way, they can be said to renew their youth by winning the affection of the younger members of society. Far from being what you might call morose and severe, their indulgent habits, deep reflections on human nature, and especially their memories of youth, which give them a taste for life, often make them more approachable.
I can aver, having always cultivated an intimacy with old women, of whose good opinion I saw early the advantage, I have known several who I frequented as much from inclination as interest. I shall stop here; for I dread you should fall in love with your old aunt, you are so apt to be inflamed suddenly and morally, and bury yourself with her in the tomb you have so long dwelt in.
I can confidently say that I have always had a close relationship with older women, understanding early on the benefits of their approval. I’ve known several who I spent time with out of both interest and genuine affection. I’ll leave it at that; I worry that you might become infatuated with your old aunt, as you often get suddenly and deeply invested, and end up isolating yourself with her in the life you’ve been living for so long.
But to return. Although you seem enraptured with your little scholar, I fancy she has no share in your projects. You found her ready to your hand, and took her: be it so. But that cannot be called taste. It is not even, properly speaking, an enjoyment; you possess her person only. Not to mention her heart, which I suppose does not give you the least uneasiness, you don’t even engage her imagination. I cannot tell whether you have observed it, but I have a proof of it in the last letter she wrote me: I send it you, that you may be convinced. Observe, always when she mentions you, it is M. de Valmont; all her ideas, even those you raise, terminate in Danceny; she does not call him Monsieur, but plain Danceny. Thus she distinguishes him from all others: and even giving herself up to you, she familiarises herself only with him. If such a conquest has any thing bewitching, if the pleasures you receive are so attaching, you are certainly modest, and not difficult to please. Keep her; I agree to it; it is even a part of my scheme: but I really think it should not discompose you in the least. You should also have some ascendant over her, and not suffer her to draw near Danceny, until he is a little worn out of her memory.
But let's get back to the point. Even though you seem completely taken with your little scholar, I doubt she’s involved in your plans. You found her conveniently available and decided to keep her; fine, but that hardly counts as a real preference. It’s not even really enjoyment; you just have her body. Not to mention her heart, which I assume doesn’t bother you at all, but you don’t even capture her imagination. I can’t say if you’ve noticed this, but I have evidence from her last letter to me: I'm sending it to you so you can see for yourself. Notice that whenever she mentions you, it’s always M. de Valmont; all her thoughts, even the ones you inspire, lead back to Danceny. She doesn’t call him Monsieur, just Danceny. That’s how she sets him apart from everyone else: even while being with you, she only feels familiar with him. If such a conquest has anything enchanting about it, and if the pleasures you experience are so captivating, then you must be quite humble and easy to satisfy. Go ahead and keep her; I’m fine with that; it’s even part of my plan. But honestly, I think it shouldn’t upset you at all. You should have some influence over her and not let her get close to Danceny until he’s a bit faded from her memory.
Before I think of your coming to me, I must tell you this pretended sickness is an exploded common trick. On my word, Viscount, you lack invention! I am also guilty of repetitions sometimes, as you shall hear: but I endeavour to amuse by the circumstances; and success justifies me. I am going to attempt another adventure. I will agree, it has not the merit of difficulty; but it will be a distraction at least, for time lies very heavy on my hands.
Before I consider your visit, I have to say that this feigned illness is an old, tired trick. Honestly, Viscount, you're not very creative! I sometimes repeat myself too, as you’ll see; but I try to make it entertaining with the details, and my success proves I'm right. I'm about to embark on another adventure. I'll admit, it's not particularly challenging; but at least it'll be a distraction, since I really have too much time on my hands.
I cannot account for the reason, but since Prevan’s affair, Belleroche is become insupportable to me. He has redoubled his attention, tenderness, and veneration, to so violent a degree, I can hold out no longer. His wrath at the time was pleasant enough; but it was necessary to check it, otherwise I must have committed myself; there was no making him listen to reason. I resolved to show him more affection, to bring him round more easily; he has taken it so seriously, that ever since he puts me out of all patience with his eternal charms. I moreover take notice of his insulting confidence, for he really looks on me as his property. I am really humbled. He holds me cheap, indeed, if he thinks himself capable of fixing me. He had the assurance to tell me lately, I never should have loved any other but him. Then, indeed, I lost all patience, and was obliged to call my prudence in aid, not to undeceive him instantly, by telling how matters stood. He is certainly a pretty fellow, to aspire to an exclusive right! I will allow, he is well made, and a tolerable person: but take him all in all, he is only a manœuverer in love. The time is come, we must part.
I can't explain why, but ever since Prevan's situation, Belleroche has become unbearable to me. He's intensified his attention, affection, and adoration to such an extreme that I can't take it anymore. His anger back then was somewhat enjoyable; however, it needed to be controlled, or I would have ended up compromising myself; he wouldn’t hear any reason. I decided to show him more warmth, hoping to win him over more easily; he's taken it so seriously that ever since, he's driven me mad with his constant charm. I've also noticed his arrogant confidence, since he really views me as his possession. I'm genuinely humbled. He thinks very little of me if he believes he can keep me to himself. Recently, he had the nerve to say that I could never love anyone else but him. At that point, I completely lost my patience and had to rely on my sense of reason to avoid directly telling him how things really were. He certainly has some audacity wanting to claim exclusive rights! I admit he's attractive and a decent person, but overall, he’s just a strategist in love. The time has come for us to part ways.
I have endeavoured at it this fortnight past. I have, by turns, treated him with coolness, capriciousness, bad humour, quarrelled even; all in vain: the tenacious creature will not quit his hold. I must, then, use some violence; for this purpose I take him with me to the country. We set out the day after to-morrow. We shall only have some people of no consequence, and not very discerning, and shall be almost as much at liberty as if we were alone. There I shall so overload him with love and fondness, we shall so live for each other only, that he will wish to see the end of this journey, which is now his greatest bliss, more than I shall; and if he does not return more tired of me than I shall be of him, I consent you may say, you know more of the matter than I do.
I’ve been working on this for the past two weeks. I’ve tried being distant, unpredictable, in a bad mood, and even argued with him; all for nothing: this stubborn person won’t let go. So, I guess I’ll have to be a bit forceful; for that, I’m taking him to the countryside. We’ll leave the day after tomorrow. We’ll have only some unimportant guests who don’t really understand much, so we’ll feel almost as free as if we were alone. There, I’ll shower him with love and affection, and we’ll focus entirely on each other to the point where he’ll start wishing for this trip—his current greatest joy—to be over more than I will. And if he doesn’t come back feeling more fed up with me than I am with him, then you can say you have a better grasp of the situation than I do.
The pretence for this retreat is, I want seriously to employ my time in preparing for my great law suit, that is to be decided the beginning of winter, which pleases me much; for it is really very disagreeable to have one’s fortune in suspense. Not that I am uneasy about the issue; for, first, I have right on my side, as all my lawyers assure me;—if it even was not the case, I should be very unskilful, indeed, if I could not gain a suit against minors of tender years, and their old guardian: however, as nothing must be omitted in a business of such consequence, I shall have two lawyers with me. Will not this be a sprightly jaunt? If I gain my cause, and lose Belleroche, I shall not regret the time.
The reason for this retreat is that I want to seriously focus on preparing for my important lawsuit, which will be decided at the beginning of winter. I'm actually quite pleased about it because it's really frustrating to have my future uncertain. I'm not worried about the outcome; firstly, I have the law on my side, as all my lawyers tell me. Even if that weren't the case, I would really have to be incompetent if I couldn't win a case against minors and their elderly guardian. However, since this is such an important matter, I’m bringing two lawyers with me. Isn’t this going to be an exciting trip? If I win my case and lose Belleroche, I won’t regret the time spent.
Now, Viscount, I will give you a hundred guesses before you name his successor; I forget though, you never guess any thing—Why, Danceny. You are astonished; for I am not yet reduced to the education of children. This one, however, deserves an exception in his favour. He has the graces of youth, but not its frivolousness. His reserve in a circle is well adapted to banish all manner of suspicion, and he is the more amiable when in a tête-à-tête; not that I yet have had one with him on my own account. I am only his confidant: but under this mask of friendship, I think I see a strong inclination for me, and I already feel a violent one for him. It would be pity so much wit and delicacy should be sacrificed and stupified with that little idiot Volanges. I hope he deceives himself in thinking he loves her; she is so far from deserving him. Not that I have the least tincture of jealousy: but it would be murder; and I wish to save Danceny. I therefore beg, Viscount, you will use your endeavours that he may not come near his Cecilia, as he has got the disagreeable custom of calling her. A first liking has always an inconceivable power. If he was now to see her, I could not be certain of any thing, especially during my absence. At my return, I shall take every thing on myself, and will answer for the success.
Now, Viscount, I’ll give you a hundred guesses before you name his successor; but then again, I forget you never guess anything—it's Danceny. You're surprised; I haven't stooped to teaching children yet. This one, however, deserves an exception. He has the charm of youth but none of its silliness. His reserved nature in a crowd effectively dispels any suspicion, and he's even more charming in one-on-one conversations; not that I’ve had one with him for myself. I’m just his confidant: but behind this facade of friendship, I think I see a strong attraction to me, and I already feel a powerful attraction to him. It would be a shame for so much wit and sensitivity to be wasted on that little fool Volanges. I hope he’s fooling himself into thinking he loves her; she doesn’t deserve him at all. Not that I’m the least bit jealous: but it would be a crime, and I want to save Danceny. So, I ask you, Viscount, to do everything you can to keep him away from his Cecilia, as he annoyingly insists on calling her. A first crush always has an unbelievable power. If he were to see her now, I couldn't be sure of anything, especially during my absence. When I return, I’ll take responsibility for everything, and I guarantee the outcome.
I had some notion of taking the young man with me; but sacrificed my inclination to my usual prudence: moreover, I mould have been apprehensive he might make some observations on Belleroche and me; an idea even of such a thing would distract me; as I wish to offer myself immaculate to his imagination: such as one should be to be worthy of him.
I thought about bringing the young man with me, but I chose to stick with my usual caution. Besides, I would have been worried he might say something about Belleroche and me; even the thought of that would have thrown me off. I want to present myself perfectly in his mind, like someone deserving of him.
Paris, Oct. 15, 17—.
Paris, Oct. 15, 1717—.
LETTER CXIV.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
The President DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
My dear friend, my uneasiness for the state of your health is so great, I cannot forbear writing to you. Without knowing whether you will be able to answer me, I cannot avoid interrogating you. M. de Valmont’s state, which you tell me is not dangerous, does not, however, dispel my apprehensions so much as it does yours. It is no novelty that melancholy and distaste for company should be symptoms of an approaching disease; bodily disorders, as well as those of the mind, incline us to solitude; and we often load those with ill temper, whose disorder we ought to compassionate.
My dear friend, I am so concerned about your health that I just had to write to you. I don’t know if you’ll be able to respond, but I can't help but ask. M. de Valmont’s condition, which you say is not dangerous, doesn’t ease my worries as much as it does yours. It’s not new that feelings of sadness and a dislike for company can be signs of an impending illness; physical issues, just like mental ones, often push us toward solitude. We tend to blame those who are irritable, even when we should really feel sympathy for their struggles.
I think he ought, at least, consult with some one. How happens it, that being yourself indisposed, you have not a physician? Mine, who I sent for this morning, and whom, for I will not conceal it from you, I consulted indirectly, is of opinion, that with persons of naturally an active disposition, this kind of sudden apathy should by no means be neglected. He told me, moreover, disorders will not give way to remedies, when they have been neglected in the beginning. Why then run such a hazard with one so dear to you?
I think he should definitely talk to someone. Why is it that you, being unwell yourself, don’t have a doctor? The one I called for this morning, and whom I, honestly, consulted indirectly, believes that with people who usually have an active nature, this sudden lack of energy shouldn’t be ignored. He also mentioned that illnesses won’t respond to treatment if they’re neglected from the start. So why take such a risk with someone so important to you?
It adds greatly to my uneasiness, I have not had any news of him these four days. Good God! I beg you will not deceive me on his state! Why is it he has left off writing to me so suddenly? If it was only the effect of my obstinacy in returning his letters, I believe he would have taken the resolution sooner. Without having, however, any faith in forebodings, for these few days I have been in a most melancholy situation. I fear I am on the eve of some great misfortune. You cannot imagine, and I am ashamed to tell you, how much I regret not receiving those letters which I refused to read. I was certain he at least thought of me, and saw something that came from his hands. I did not open them, but I wept over them: my tears were softer, and flowed with more ease; they only partly dissipated the habitual oppression I experience since my return. I conjure you, my most respectable friend, to write to me yourself as soon as you can; in the mean time, pray indulge me every day in hearing from you, and of him.
It really adds to my anxiety that I haven’t heard from him in the last four days. Oh my God! Please don’t mislead me about how he’s doing! Why has he suddenly stopped writing to me? If it was just because I stubbornly returned his letters, I think he would have made that decision sooner. Still, even though I don’t believe in bad omens, I’ve been feeling really down these past few days. I’m afraid something terrible is about to happen. You can’t imagine how much I regret not reading those letters I refused. I was sure he at least thought of me and wrote something that came from him. I didn’t open them, but I cried over them: my tears were gentler and flowed more easily; they only slightly eased the constant weight I’ve felt since I returned. I urge you, my dear friend, to write to me yourself as soon as you can; in the meantime, please let me hear from you and about him every day.
I now perceive, I have scarcely said a word to you: but you know my sentiments, my unreserved attachment, my tender gratitude, for your sincere friendship. You will forgive my distress, my painful anguish, for dreading evils of which I am, perhaps, the cause. Merciful God! this desponding idea pursues me and wrings my heart. This misfortune only was wanting. I know I am born to experience them all.
I realize I haven't really said much to you, but you know how I feel—my open affection, my deep gratitude for your genuine friendship. Please forgive my distress and the painful worry I have about the troubles that I may have caused. Oh, merciful God! This depressing thought haunts me and tears at my heart. This misfortune is the last thing I needed. I know that I'm meant to face all of these hardships.
Adieu, my dear friend! love me, pity me. Shall I hear from you this day?
Adieu, my dear friend! Love me, pity me. Will I hear from you today?
Paris, Oct. 16, 17—.
Paris, Oct. 16, 17—.
LETTER CXV.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
The VICount De Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
It is a most unaccountable thing, my charming friend, when we are at a remote distance, we cannot so readily understand each other. Whilst I was near you, we always had the same sentiments, and viewed every object in the same light; because I am now about three months absent, we are no longer of the same opinion on any thing. Which of us is in the wrong? You certainly will not hesitate in your answer: but I, more wise, or more polite, will not decide. I shall only reply to your letter, and continue to lay my conduct open.
It’s really strange, my dear friend, how when we’re far apart, we don’t understand each other as well. When I was close to you, we always shared the same feelings and saw everything the same way; now that I’ve been away for about three months, we hardly agree on anything. Which one of us is wrong? You’ll definitely have a quick answer, but I, being either wiser or more polite, won’t make a judgment. I’ll just respond to your letter and keep being open about my actions.
First, accept my thanks for the intelligence of the reports flying about me; that does not make me uneasy: I think soon I shall be furnished with materials to silence them all. Have a little patience; I shall again appear more celebrated than ever, and more worthy of you.
First, I want to thank you for the insightful reports circulating about me; that doesn’t make me anxious. I believe I’ll soon have enough evidence to put them all to rest. Just be patient; I’ll return even more famous than before, and more deserving of you.
I expect even they will give me credit for the affair of the little Volanges, which you affect to treat as such a trifle: as if there was no merit in carrying in one night a young girl from a favoured lover; to make use of her after as much as one chooses, even as their own property, and without any farther trouble; to obtain from her what one dare not even require from girls whose vocation it is; and all this without in the least disturbing her tender affection; without making her inconstant, or even false; for certainly I don’t engage her imagination. So that after my fancy is at an end, I will deliver her into her lover’s arms, without, as I may say, her having taken notice of any thing. Pray is that so common an exploit? Yet believe, when she is gone from under my tuition, the principles I have instilled into her will nevertheless display themselves; and I prophesy, the timid scholar will take a flight that will do honour to her master.
I expect even they will give me credit for the situation with the little Volanges, which you pretend to treat as such a minor issue: as if there’s no skill in taking a young girl away from her loving partner in just one night; to use her afterward as much as one wants, even as if she were their own property, and without any further hassle; to get from her what one wouldn’t even dare to ask from girls whose job it is to provide that; and all this without disturbing her tender feelings; without making her unfaithful, or even dishonest; because surely I’m not influencing her imagination. So once I’m done with her, I’ll hand her back to her lover, without her even realizing anything happened. Is that such a common feat? Yet believe me, once she’s no longer under my guidance, the values I’ve taught her will still show; and I predict, the shy student will rise to a level that will reflect well on her teacher.
If, however, they like heroics better, I will show my Presidente; this model cited for every virtue, respected even by our greatest libertines; insomuch, they had given up the idea of attacking her. I will show her, forgetting duty and virtue, sacrificing her reputation and two years prudence to run after the happiness of pleasing me; intoxicated with love; sufficiently recompensed for so many sacrifices by a word, a look, which yet she will not always obtain. I will do more, I will even abandon her; and if I know this woman, I shall not have a successor; she will resist the necessity of consolation; the habitude of pleasure; even the thirst for revenge: she shall have existed for me only; and let her career be long or short, I alone will have opened and shut the barrier; when once I rise to this triumph, I will tell my rivals, “that is my exploit, search the world for such an example.”
If they prefer heroic stories, I will showcase my Presidente; this model praised for every virtue, even respected by our biggest libertines; they have given up the idea of attacking her. I will reveal her, putting aside duty and virtue, sacrificing her reputation and two years of caution to chase after the happiness of pleasing me; overwhelmed by love; adequately rewarded for so many sacrifices by just a word, a glance, which she may not always receive. I will go further; I will even abandon her; and if I know this woman, there will be no successor; she will resist the need for consolation; the habit of pleasure; even the desire for revenge: she will have lived only for me; and whether her time is long or short, I alone will have opened and closed the door; once I achieve this triumph, I will tell my rivals, “that is my accomplishment, go look around for anything like it.”
You ask me whence proceeds this excessive confidence? Why, for eight days past, I am my fair one’s confidant; she does not tell me her secrets, but I come at them; two of her letters have given me sufficient information; the rest I will only read out of curiosity. I now absolutely want nothing to crown my success but admittance, my measures are taken; I shall immediately execute them. I think you are curious; but to punish you for not believing my intentions, you shall not know them; you really in earnest deserve I should withdraw my confidence from you, at least, for this adventure; were it not for the tender reward you have attached to its success, I would not mention it again. You see I am vexed; however, in hopes of your amendment, I will be satisfied with this slight reprimand, and my indulgent mind for a moment, forgetting my grand project, shall employ itself on yours.
You ask me where this overwhelming confidence comes from? Well, for the past eight days, I’ve been my lady’s confidant; she doesn’t tell me her secrets, but I figure them out anyway. Two of her letters have given me enough information; the rest I’ll only read out of curiosity. All I need now to complete my plan is access; I have everything in place and will carry it out immediately. I know you’re curious, but as punishment for not believing my intentions, you won’t find out what they are. Honestly, you deserve for me to hold back my trust from you, at least for this situation; if it weren’t for the sweet reward you’ve promised for its success, I wouldn’t even bring it up again. You see I’m frustrated; however, in hopes that you’ll improve, I’ll settle for this small reprimand, and for a moment, my generous mind, putting aside my big plan, will focus on yours.
You are then in the country, dull as sentiment, and sorrowful as fidelity; and poor Belleroche, not satisfied with making him drink the waters of oblivion, you will also put him to the torture; how does he like it? Does he bear the nausea of love well? I would rather than a great deal he should become more attached to you; I am curious to learn what more efficacious remedy you would use; I really pity you, to have been obliged to have recourse to that. Never did I make love but once methodically; I certainly had a strong motive, as it was with the Countess de ——; and twenty times in her arms have I been tempted to tell her, “Madam, I renounce the place I solicit, and permit me to quit that I occupy.” Of all the women I have had, she is the only one of whom I take pleasure in speaking ill. Your motive, I must own, is truly ridiculous, and you was right in thinking I should not guess the successor:—What, then, is it for Danceny you have taken all this trouble? Ah, my dear friend, let him alone to adore his virtuous Cecilia, and do not commit yourself in this children’s play; leave the scholars to be formed by good old women, or play with the pensioners at pretty innocent games. What, would you instruct a novice who neither knows how to take or leave you, for whom you must do every thing? I tell you seriously, I disapprove your choice; and let it be ever so secret, it will humble you in my mind, and your own conscience. You say you have taken a great liking to him; for shame! you certainly deceive yourself. I think I have discovered the cause of your error; this fine disgust for Belleroche happened at a time of scarcity, and Paris not offering any choice, your lively ideas fixed on the first object they met; but remember, at your return you may choose among a thousand; and if you dread the inaction you risk falling into in deferring your choice, I offer myself for your amusement at your leisure hours. From this time until your arrival, my great affairs will be determined one way or other; certainly neither the little Volanges, nor the Presidente even, will employ me so much, but I may devote myself to you as much as you wish; perhaps even before that time, I may have delivered the little one into the hands of her discreet lover. Say what you please, which I don’t agree to, that it is not an attaching enjoyment, as I intended she should ever retain an idea of me superior to all the rest of mankind, I assumed such a tone with her as I could not support long without prejudice to my health; and from this moment I am no longer hers only for family duty. You don’t understand me; I mean I wait a second period to confirm my hopes, and give me full assurance I have amply succeeded in my scheme. Yes, my dear friend, I have already a first indication that my scholar’s husband will not die without posterity, and the chief of the house of Gercourt will be a younger brother of that of Valmont. But let me finish to my own liking this business which I undertook at your request: remember if you make Danceny inconstant, you deprive the adventure of its poignancy. Consider also, in offering myself to you, I have a right to a preference.
You find yourself in the countryside, as boring as sentiment and as sad as loyalty; and poor Belleroche, not only will you make him drink away his memories, but you'll also put him through torture; how does he handle it? Is he coping with the nausea of love? I’d much rather he becomes more attached to you; I’m curious to know what other effective remedy you would use; I genuinely feel sorry for you for having to resort to that. I’ve only pursued love methodically once; I definitely had a strong reason, as it was with the Countess de ——; and many times while in her arms, I was tempted to tell her, “Madam, I give up the position I seek, and please let me leave that which I hold.” Of all the women I've been with, she’s the only one I enjoy criticizing. Your reason is honestly ridiculous, and you were right to think I wouldn’t guess the one after you:—So, is it Danceny for whom you’ve gone through all this trouble? Ah, my dear friend, let him worship his virtuous Cecilia, and don’t get yourself involved in this childish game; let older women guide the students, or let them play innocent games with the pensioners. What, would you teach a novice who doesn’t know how to take or leave you, for whom you must do everything? I’m serious when I say I disapprove of your choice; and no matter how secret it is, it will lower your standing in my eyes and in your own conscience. You say you’ve grown fond of him; for shame! You’re definitely fooling yourself. I think I’ve figured out the reason for your mistake; this strong aversion to Belleroche came during a dry spell, and since Paris offered no other options, your lively imagination fixed on the first thing that came along; but remember, when you return, you can choose from a thousand options; and if you fear the inactivity you risk by delaying your decision, I’m available to entertain you during your free time. Between now and your arrival, my major issues will be resolved one way or another; definitely neither the little Volanges nor the Presidente will keep me busy enough that I can’t devote myself to you as much as you want; perhaps even before that, I may have handed over the little one to her discreet lover. Say what you want, though I don’t agree with you, it’s not an attaching pleasure, as I wanted her to always have an idea of me that was better than anyone else’s; I took on a tone with her that I couldn’t maintain for long without harming my health; and from this moment on, I’m not just hers out of family obligation. You don’t get my point; I mean I’m waiting for a second period to confirm my hopes and give me full assurance that I’ve successfully carried out my plan. Yes, my dear friend, I already have the first indication that my student’s husband will not die without heirs, and the head of the house of Gercourt will be a younger brother to that of Valmont. But let me finish this business, which I started at your request: remember, if you make Danceny fickle, you rob the adventure of its intensity. Also consider that by offering myself to you, I have a right to be prioritized.
I depend so much upon it, I was not afraid to counteract your designs in even assisting to increase the tender passion of the discreet lover, for the first and worthy object of his choice. Having yesterday found your pupil writing to him, and disturbed her in this pleasing task, for another still more pleasing: I afterwards desired to see the letter; as it was too cold and constrained, I made her sensible it was not thus she should console her lover, and made her write another which I dictated; where, imitating her nonsense as well as I could, I endeavoured to feed the young man’s passion by more certain hopes; the little, creature was overjoyed, she said, to find she wrote so well, and hereafter I should hold the correspondence. What have I not done for this Danceny! I have been at once his friend, his confidant, his rival, and his mistress; even at this instant, I am endeavouring to save him from your dangerous toils: ay, dangerous; for to possess, and then lose you, is purchasing a moment’s happiness with an eternity of regret.
I rely on it so much that I wasn't afraid to disrupt your plans even by helping to deepen the tender feelings of the careful lover for his first and deserving choice. Yesterday, I caught your student writing to him and interrupted her in this enjoyable task for something even more enjoyable. Later, I wanted to see the letter; since it was too cold and stiff, I showed her that this wasn't how she should comfort her lover and had her write another one that I dictated. I tried to mimic her silly style as best as I could and aimed to nurture the young man's feelings with more hopeful possibilities. The little one was thrilled to discover she could write so well, and she said that from now on, I'd handle their correspondence. What haven't I done for this Danceny? I've been his friend, his confidant, his rival, and his lover; even right now, I'm trying to save him from your dangerous traps: yes, dangerous, because to have you and then lose you is trading a moment of happiness for an eternity of regret.
Adieu, my lovely friend! muster up resolution to dispatch Belleroche as soon as possible; think no more of Danceny; and prepare to again find and return me the delicious pleasures of our first connection.
Adieu, my lovely friend! Gather your strength to send Belleroche away as soon as you can; forget about Danceny; and get ready to rediscover and bring back the delightful pleasures of our first connection.
Oct. 19, 17—.
Oct. 19, 1717—.
P. S. I congratulate you on the approaching decision of your great cause; I should be very happy this event should occur during my reign.
P.S. Congratulations on the upcoming decision regarding your important case; I would be very pleased if this event happens during my time in charge.
LETTER CXVI.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to CECILIA VOLANGES.
Chevalier Danceny to Cecilia Volanges.
Madame de Merteuil set out this morning for the country; thus am I deprived, my charming Cecilia; of my only remaining consolation in your absence, of conversing of you with our mutual friend: she has given me leave for some time past to distinguish her by that title; I accepted it the more eagerly, as it has something the appearance of drawing me nearer to you; she is a most amiable woman, and knows how to add the most attractive charms to friendship:—It would seem as if this pleasing sensation was embellished and strengthened in her the more, for what she refuses to love. You cannot imagine how much she loves you; how pleased she is to hear me speak of you: it is this certainly that attaches me so much to her. What happiness, to exist only for you both! to make such sudden transitions from the ecstasy of love, to the charms of friendship; to devote my life to it; to be in some measure the point of re-union to your reciprocal attachment; to be convinced the happiness of the one is also that of the other.
Madame de Merteuil left for the countryside this morning, so I am deprived, my dear Cecilia, of my only remaining comfort in your absence, which is talking about you with our mutual friend. She has allowed me for some time now to call her that, and I accepted eagerly because it makes me feel closer to you. She is a really lovely woman and knows how to add the most appealing qualities to friendship. It seems like her enjoyment of this connection is enhanced by her refusal to love. You can’t imagine how much she cares for you and how happy she is to hear me talk about you; it's definitely what draws me to her. How wonderful it is to exist just for both of you! To make such sudden shifts from the joy of love to the delight of friendship; to dedicate my life to it; to be somewhat of a bridge between your mutual affection; to know that one’s happiness is also tied to the other’s.
You cannot, my charming Cecilia, love this adorable woman too much: add to my attachment for her, by sharing it with me. Now I experience the charms of friendship, I wish you also to taste them; I think no enjoyment complete you do not partake of: Yes, my dear Cecilia, I wish to inspire you with all the tender sentiments; that every idea should convey happiness to you; and would still think I returned you only a portion of the felicity I have received from you.
You can't, my lovely Cecilia, love this amazing woman too much: enhance my feelings for her by sharing them with me. Now that I'm experiencing the joys of friendship, I want you to enjoy them too; I believe no happiness is complete unless you share it: Yes, my dear Cecilia, I want to fill you with all the warm feelings; that every thought should bring you joy; and I would still feel that I'm only returning a part of the happiness you've given me.
Alas! those enchanting dreams are only the pleasing fancies of imagination, and reality only offers me mortifying privations. I now plainly see I must give up the flattering hope of seeing you in the country: my sole consolation is endeavouring to be persuaded you cannot accomplish it, and you do not choose to afflict me more by informing me of it; twice already have I lamented this disappointment, and received no reply:—Ah! Cecilia, I really believe you love me with your whole soul, but your heart is not so ardent as mine. If the obstacles were left to me to be removed, or my own interests to be managed instead of yours, I would soon convince you nothing was impossible to love. You do not inform me even when this cruel absence is to be at an end: here surely I can see you; your enchanting looks would revive my sorrowful heart which is almost totally depressed: forgive, my dear Cecilia, my fears, they are not suspicious; I place implicit faith in your love, in your constancy; I should be too miserable, had I any doubts; but so many obstacles still renewed—I am, my dear, very much dejected:—Madame de Merteuil’s departure has renewed all my sorrows.
Oh no! Those beautiful dreams are just the nice fantasies of my imagination, and reality only brings me painful deprivation. I can clearly see that I have to let go of the hopeful thought of seeing you in the countryside: my only comfort is trying to believe that you can't make it and that you don’t want to hurt me further by telling me. I've already mourned this disappointment twice and received no response:—Ah! Cecilia, I really believe you love me with all your heart, but your feelings aren't as intense as mine. If it were up to me to remove these obstacles, or to manage my own interests instead of yours, I would quickly show you that nothing is impossible for love. You don't even tell me when this cruel separation will be over: surely I can see you then; your lovely face would lift my gloomy heart, which is almost completely broken. Forgive me, my dear Cecilia, for my worries; they aren't suspicious; I trust your love and loyalty completely; I would be too miserable if I had any doubts. But with so many renewed obstacles—I am, my dear, very downcast:—Madame de Merteuil’s departure has stirred up all my sorrows again.
Adieu, my dear Cecilia, adieu!—Remember your lover is in affliction, and you only can make him happy.
Adieu, my dear Cecilia, goodbye!—Remember your lover is in pain, and only you can make him happy.
Paris, Oct. 17, 17—.
Paris, Oct. 17, 2017—.
LETTER CXVII.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
(Dictated by Valmont.)
(Dictated by Valmont.)
Do you think my dear friend there is any necessity to be angry with me to make me melancholy, when I know you to be in affliction; and do you think I have not my share of sufferings as well as you? I even partake of those I am obliged to give you; and still you are unjust. I see plainly what puts you out of temper; it is because I was silent to the two requisitions you made to me here; do you think an answer to it is so easy to give? Do you think I do not know what you want is not right? And if I am so distressed to refuse you at such a distance, how would it be if you was here? Then again I must be afflicted all my life for giving you a moments consolation.
Do you really think, my dear friend, that there's any reason to be angry with me or to make me sad when I know you're suffering? Don’t you think I'm going through my own struggles too? I even feel the pain of the burdens I have to place on you, yet you’re still being unfair. I can clearly see what’s bothering you; it’s that I didn’t respond to the two requests you made when you were here. Do you think it would be easy for me to answer? Do you think I don’t know that what you want isn't right? And if it’s so hard for me to refuse you from so far away, how would it be if you were here? I’d have to live with this pain for the rest of my life just to give you a moment of comfort.
I hide nothing from you, I give you my reasons, you may judge for yourself; I should perhaps have done what you wish, had it not been for what I wrote you, that M. de Gercourt, who is the cause of all our trouble, will not come so soon; and as mama is greatly pleased with me now, I caress her as much as possible; who knows what I may bring her to: if we could be happy without having any thing to reproach myself with, surely it would be much better. If I am to believe what I have often heard, that men, when they have loved their wives before marriage, do not love them so much after; the dread of that restrains me more than any thing:—Are you not sure of my heart, and will there not be always time enough.
I hide nothing from you, I give you my reasons, and you can judge for yourself; I might have done what you want, if it weren't for what I told you, that M. de Gercourt, who is the source of all our troubles, won’t be coming anytime soon; and since mom is really pleased with me right now, I’m spoiling her as much as I can; who knows what that might lead to: if we could be happy without having anything to feel guilty about, it would definitely be better. If I believe what I’ve often heard, that men who loved their wives before marriage don’t love them as much after; the fear of that holds me back more than anything:—Aren’t you confident in my heart, and won't there always be enough time?
I promise you, if I cannot avoid marrying M. de Gercourt, who I already hate without knowing him, nothing shall prevent me from being yours as much as I can, even before any thing, as I do not mind being loved by any but you:—you will see if I act wrong it shall not be my fault; the rest is indifferent to me, provided you promise to love me always as much as you do now:—but until then let me be as I am; and do not ask a thing I have good reasons not to do, and am vexed to refuse you.
I promise you, if I can’t avoid marrying M. de Gercourt, whom I already hate without knowing him, nothing will stop me from being yours as much as I can, even before anything else, since I don’t want to be loved by anyone but you. If I act wrongly, it won’t be my fault; the rest doesn’t matter to me, as long as you promise to love me always as much as you do now. But until then, let me be as I am, and don’t ask me for something I have good reasons not to do, which annoys me to refuse you.
I would likewise be very glad M. de Valmont would not be so pressing on your account, which only makes me more unhappy: he is your very good friend I assure you; he does every thing as you would do yourself; but adieu, my dear friend! it was late when I began to write, and spent a good part of the night at it. I am going to bed to retrieve the time I lost. I embrace you; but do not scold me any more.
I would also be really glad if M. de Valmont wouldn’t be so pushy about you, as it only makes me more upset. He’s a really good friend to you, I promise; he does everything just like you would. But goodbye, my dear friend! It was late when I started writing, and I spent a good part of the night on it. I’m heading to bed to make up for the time I lost. I hug you, but please don’t scold me anymore.
Castle of ——, Oct. 18, 17—.
Castle of ——, Oct. 18, 17—.
LETTER CXVIII.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Chevalier Danceny to the Marchioness de Merteuil.
If I am to credit my almanack, my charming friend, you are absent only two days; but my heart tells me it is an age. According to your own doctrine then, the heart must always be believed. It is time you should return: surely your affairs should be finished by this time. How can I be any way concerned in the success of you law suit, as I must suffer by your absence? I am now much inclined to scold; and it is really hard, being so ripe for bad humour, I dare not give way to it.
If I’m to believe my calendar, my dear friend, you’ve been gone for just two days; but my heart feels like it’s been ages. According to your own belief, the heart should always be trusted. It’s time for you to come back; surely your business should be wrapped up by now. How can I be involved in the success of your lawsuit when I’m suffering because you’re not here? I’m really tempted to complain; it’s tough feeling this grumpy and not giving in to it.
Is it not a species of infidelity, to leave your friend, after having accustomed him not to be able to exist out of your presence? Your lawyers will even find it difficult to defend so bad a cause: besides, those gentlemen generally make use of arguments which are not valid answers to sentiments.
Isn't it kind of unfaithful to abandon your friend after getting them used to relying on your presence? Even your lawyers would struggle to defend such a weak case; plus, those guys usually rely on arguments that don’t really address feelings.
You have given me so many for this journey, that I am sick of them, and will pay no farther attention to them, were they even to persuade me to forget you. Yet that would not be so unreasonable, nor so difficult, as you may imagine: it would be only laying aside the habit of always thinking of you; for nothing here, I can assure you, would ever recall you to my memory.
You’ve given me so many things for this journey that I’m tired of them and won’t pay any more attention to them, even if they tried to convince me to forget you. But that wouldn’t be so unreasonable or so hard as you might think: it would just mean getting out of the habit of always thinking about you; because nothing here, I can promise you, would ever remind me of you.
Our prettiest women, those even called the most amiable, are so inferior to you, that they could give but a very faint idea indeed. I even think, that, with all their practised looks, the more one might at first think that they resembled you, the more striking the difference would afterwards appear. In vain do they use their utmost exertions; they always fail being you; and that precisely constitutes the charm. Unfortunately, when the days are so long, and one is unoccupied, reveries, ideal projects, and chimeras, fill the brain; the mind acquires a degree of elevation. We are intent on ornamenting our productions; we collect together every thing that can please; we arrive at length at perfection; and when we are there, the portrait brings us back to the original, and one is quite astonished to see that you were the only object of all these turns of the mind. Even at this moment I am the dupe of pretty much the same sort of error. You fancy, perhaps, that it was in order to employ myself on your subject, that I resolved to write to you—not at all: it was in order to direct my attention a little from you. I have a hundred things to tell you, of which you were not the object, and which, nevertheless, you very well know concern me nearly; and yet it is from these things my attention is led away. Since when, then, do the charms of Friendship dissipate those of Love? If I considered it narrowly, perhaps I should have to reproach myself—but hush! Let us forget that small fault, lest we relapse into it; and let even my best female friend be in ignorance of it.
Our most beautiful women, even those called the most charming, are so far beneath you that they can only give a very vague idea of your beauty. I even think that with all their practiced expressions, the more one might initially see a resemblance to you, the more obvious the difference becomes later on. They try their hardest, but they can never be you; and that’s exactly what makes it appealing. Unfortunately, when the days are so long and one has nothing to do, daydreams, ideal plans, and fantasies fill the mind. The imagination rises to new heights. We're focused on enhancing our creations; we gather everything we find appealing; we finally achieve perfection, and when we do, the artwork reminds us of the original, and it's surprising to see that you were the only inspiration behind all these thoughts. Even now, I'm falling for a similar mistake. You might think I wrote to you to focus on you—not at all: it was actually to distract myself a bit from you. I have a hundred things to share with you that don’t revolve around you, yet you know they concern me closely; still, it’s from these things that my thoughts wander. Since when do the joys of friendship overshadow those of love? If I think about it too much, I might have to blame myself—but let’s not dwell on that small fault, so we don’t fall back into it; let my closest female friend remain unaware of it.
Why are you absent? Why not here to give me an answer? To recall me if I should stray? To talk to me of my Cecilia? To add, if possible, to the happiness I experience in loving her, by the additionally charming idea that it is your friend I love? Yes, I avow the love she inspires me, is become more precious. Since you have been kind enough to become the confidant of it, I feel so great a pleasure in opening my heart to you, in interesting yours in my sentiments, in depositing them there without reserve! I think them the more dear to me in proportion as you condescend to hear them; that I look at you, and say to myself, It is in her that all my happiness is centered. I have nothing new to inform you of as to my situation. The last letter I received from her increases, and gives a degree of security to my hopes; though she still brings a delay to them, yet her motives are so tender and honourable, that I can neither blame her, nor complain of it. Perhaps this is obscure to you; but why are you not here? Though we can say every thing to a friend, every thing cannot be written. The secrets of love especially, are so delicate, that one ought not to let them go in that way, relying on honour. If they are sometimes permitted to go abroad, they never should be permitted to go out of sight; they ought even to be watched back to their new asylum. Return, then my adorable friend; you see your return is necessary: forget, then, the thousand reasons that detain you where you are, or teach me to live where you are not.
Why are you absent? Why aren’t you here to give me an answer? To remind me if I go off track? To talk to me about my Cecilia? To add, if you can, to the happiness I feel in loving her, with the delightful idea that it's your friend I'm in love with? Yes, I admit that the love she inspires in me has become even more precious. Since you've been kind enough to be my confidant, I take great pleasure in opening my heart to you, in getting you interested in my feelings, in sharing them completely! I cherish them even more knowing you’re willing to hear them; I look at you and think, It's with you that all my happiness is centered. I don’t have anything new to tell you about my situation. The last letter I got from her boosts and solidifies my hopes; even though she still brings delays, her reasons are so tender and honorable that I can neither blame nor complain about it. Maybe that’s unclear to you, but why aren’t you here? While we can say anything to a friend, not everything can be written down. The secrets of love, in particular, are so delicate that they shouldn't be shared that way, hoping for honor to keep them safe. If they're sometimes allowed to be shared, they should never be out of sight; they should even be watched as they return to their new home. So come back, my adorable friend; it’s clear your return is essential: forget the thousand reasons keeping you away, or teach me how to live without you.
I have the honour to be, &c.
Paris, Oct. 16, 17—.
I am honored to be, etc.
Paris, Oct. 16-17.
LETTER CXIX.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE to the President Tourvel.
Although, still suffering much pain, my lovely dear, I endeavour to write to you myself, in order to tell you what interests you so much. My nephew still preserves his misanthropy: he sends every day regularly to enquire about my health; but has never come once in person, although I requested it; so that we see no more of him than if he was at Paris. This morning, however, I met him, when least expected: it was in my chapel, where I came down for the first time since my painful disorder. They inform me, for four days past he goes there regularly every morning to mass. God grant it may last.
Although I'm still in a lot of pain, my dear, I'm trying to write to you myself to share what you're so interested in. My nephew is still as misanthropic as ever; he checks in on my health every day but has never come to see me in person, even though I asked him to. It’s like he’s in Paris for all the good it does since we hardly see him. However, this morning I ran into him when I least expected it. It was in my chapel, where I came down for the first time since my painful illness. I've been told that he's been going there regularly every morning for mass for the past four days. God let it continue.
When I entered, he congratulated me very affectionately on my recovery. As mass was beginning, we broke off the conversation, expecting to renew it afterwards: he disappeared before I could join him again. I will not conceal from you, he is something altered; but, my lovely dear, do not make me repent my confidence in your good sense, by your too great uneasiness; and be assured I would rather afflict than deceive you.
When I walked in, he warmly congratulated me on my recovery. As the mass started, we paused our conversation, planning to pick it back up later: he left before I could catch him again. I won’t hide from you, he has changed a bit; but, my lovely dear, please don’t make me regret trusting your good judgment by worrying too much; just know that I would prefer to hurt you with the truth than mislead you.
If my nephew continues to treat me so severely, I am resolved, when I am something better, to visit him in his chamber, and endeavour to dive into the cause of this extraordinary madness, in which you certainly have some share. The result of my observations you shall be informed. I must leave off, not being able to stir my fingers. If Adelaide knew I had been writing, she would be very much vexed. Adieu, my lovely dear!
If my nephew keeps treating me like this, I’m determined that once I’m feeling better, I will visit him in his room and try to understand the reason for this strange behavior, which I’m sure you’re partly responsible for. I’ll let you know what I find out. I have to stop now since I can’t move my fingers. If Adelaide knew I had been writing, she would be really upset. Goodbye, my lovely dear!
Castle of ——, Oct. 20, 17—.
Castle of ——, Oct. 20, 17—.
LETTER CXX.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to FATHER ANSELMUS,
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to FATHER ANSELMUS,
(Of the Feuillant Convent, St. Honoré Street.)
(Of the Feuillant Convent, St. Honoré Street.)
Not having the honour of being known to you, Sir, but thoroughly acquainted with the well-placed confidence Madame the Presidente de Tourvel reposes in you, I think I may address myself to you without being guilty of indiscretion, to obtain an essential piece of service, truly worthy your holy ministry, wherein Madame de Tourvel’s advantage is equally concerned with mine.
Not having the honor of being known to you, Sir, but being very familiar with the strong trust that Madame the Presidente de Tourvel has in you, I believe I can reach out to you without stepping out of line, to request an important favor, truly worthy of your noble position, where Madame de Tourvel's interests are just as important as mine.
Having in my possession some papers of consequence that concern her nearly, and should not be entrusted to any person, which I neither ought or will deliver but into her own hands. Being deprived of the means of informing her of this resolution, for reasons which you may probably have learned from her, but which I do not think myself at liberty to acquaint you with, she determined to refuse corresponding with me; a determination which I do not now in the least blame, as she could not foresee events, so unexpected, and which required the supernatural power, that one is forced to acknowledge for their completion. Therefore I request, Sir, you will be so good to inform her of my new resolves, and ask, in my name, a particular interview, where I may in some measure repair the injuries I have been guilty of by my apologies; and, as the last sacrifice, annihilate, in her presence, the only remaining impressions of an error or crime, which made me culpable towards her.
I have some important documents that concern her directly and shouldn’t be given to anyone else. I will only hand them over to her. Since I can't inform her of this decision for reasons you may already know about but that I can't disclose, she has decided not to communicate with me. I don’t blame her for this decision at all, as she couldn’t have anticipated the unexpected events that required a kind of support that seems almost supernatural. So, I kindly ask you to let her know about my new intentions and to request a meeting with her on my behalf, where I can somewhat make amends for my past mistakes with my apologies; and, as a final gesture, completely erase any lingering memories of my error or wrongdoing that made me at fault toward her.
It cannot be until after this preliminary expiation, I shall dare, at your knees, make the humiliating, avowal of my long bad conduct, and implore your mediation, for a still more important, and, unhappily, a much more difficult reconciliation. May I hope, Sir, you will not refuse me your assistance in a business so necessary and so important; and that you will vouchsafe to aid my weakness, and guide my steps in this new path, which I ardently wish to follow, and to which, with shame, I own myself an utter stranger.
It can't be until after this initial apology that I'll dare to kneel before you and admit my long history of bad behavior, asking for your help in an even more significant and unfortunately much tougher reconciliation. Can I hope, Sir, that you won't turn me down when I need your help in something so essential and important? I'm looking for your support to strengthen me and lead me along this new path, which I desperately want to follow and to which I shamefully admit I’m completely unfamiliar.
I wait your answer with the impatience of repentance that wishes to reform; and beg you will believe me to be, with as much gratitude as veneration,
I wait for your answer with the impatience of someone who regrets their actions and wants to change; and I ask you to believe that I feel as much gratitude as respect,
Your most humble, &c.
Your most humble, etc.
P. S. I authorise you, Sir, if you think proper, to communicate this letter entirely to Madame de Tourvel, who I shall make it my duty to respect during the rest of my days, and whom I shall never cease to revere, as the instrument heaven has been pleased to use to bring me back to virtue, by the striking example of her own.
P. S. I authorize you, Sir, if you think it's appropriate, to share this letter completely with Madame de Tourvel, whom I will always respect for the rest of my life, and whom I will never stop admiring as the person heaven chose to help me return to virtue, through the impressive example of her own life.
Castle of ——, Oct. 22, 17—.
Castle of ——, Oct. 22, 1700s.
LETTER CXXI.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to CHEVALIER DANCENY.
The Marchioness de Merteuil to Chevalier Danceny.
I received your letter, my very young friend, and must scold you before you receive my thanks for it; farther I warn you, if you do not amend, you shall not have any answer from me. Leave, then, that wheedling style, which is but mere cant, when it is not the expression of love. Is it the style of friendship? No, my dear friend; each sentiment has its peculiar language suitable to it; and to use another, is to disguise the thought we should express. I am well aware our silly women do not understand what is said to them, unless it is translated in some shape into this fashionable nonsense: but I imagined you would have distinguished me from them. I am really hurt, and, perhaps, more than I ought, you should imbibe such an opinion of me.
I got your letter, my young friend, but I need to scold you before I thank you for it. I warn you, if you don't change your ways, you won’t get a reply from me. So please, ditch that insincere style that’s just empty words unless it truly expresses love. Is that how friends talk? No, my dear friend; every feeling has its own language, and using the wrong one just hides the message we want to share. I know that our silly women can't understand anything unless it's wrapped in this trendy nonsense, but I thought you would see me differently. I'm honestly hurt, and maybe more than I should be, that you would think of me that way.
You will find in my letter what is wanting in yours, frankness and simplicity. As I shall say, it would give me infinite pleasure to see you, and am grieved to have only those about me who stupify me instead of those that give me pleasure; but you translate this same phrase thus: Teach me to live where you are absent; thus, suppose you was with your mistress, you could not live was I absent. What a misfortune! And these women that always fail being me! You will find, perhaps, that wanting also to your Cecilia! This, however, is the style which, by the abuse now made of it, is beneath the nonsense of compliment, and becomes a mere precedent, to which no more attention is paid than to your most humble servant.
You’ll find in my letter what’s missing in yours: honesty and straightforwardness. As I mentioned, it would bring me great joy to see you, and it pains me to be surrounded only by those who bore me instead of those who bring me happiness; but you interpret this same sentiment as: Teach me to live where you are not; so, if you were with your lady, you wouldn't be able to live if I’m not there. What a tragedy! And these women that always disappoint me! You might find that missing with your Cecilia too! This, however, is the kind of language that, due to its overuse, falls short of genuine flattery and turns into a mere formality, receiving about as much attention as your most humble servant.
My dear friend, when you write to me, let it be to express your thoughts and feelings, and do not stuff your letter with phrases, which I shall find, without your assistance, well or ill told in the first romance of the day. I hope you will not be displeased at what I now say, if even you should discover some peevishness in it; for it must not be denied I am a little so at present. To avoid even the shadow of the defect with which I reproach you, you must not be told, perhaps, this peevishness is not a little increased by the distance I am from you. And I am inclined to think, all things considered, you are more eligible than a law suit and two lawyers, and, perhaps, even the attentive Belleroche.
My dear friend, when you write to me, please share your thoughts and feelings, and don’t fill your letter with phrases that I can find well or poorly expressed in today’s romance novels without your help. I hope you won't be upset by what I'm about to say, even if you notice a bit of irritation in it; I must admit I am feeling a bit that way right now. To avoid the criticism I make of you, I should mention that my irritation is somewhat heightened by the distance between us. All things considered, I think you are a better choice than a lawsuit and two lawyers, and maybe even the attentive Belleroche.
Observe, instead of being afflicted at my absence, you should be highly gratified; for I never before paid you so handsome a compliment. Your example influences me; I shall be apt to wheedle. No; I will retain my sincerity: it alone assures you of my tender friendship, and the interesting things it inspires. Is it not very pleasing to have a young friend, whose inclinations lead him elsewhere? However, that is not the system of the generality of women, but it is mine. I always thought the pleasure greater, and more satisfactory, in a sentiment where there is no apprehension. Don’t you think I have assumed the character of confidant for you tolerably soon: but you choose your mistress so young, that, for the first time, I begin to think I grow old. You are certainly right, thus to prepare yourself for a long career of constancy; and I sincerely wish it may be reciprocal.
Instead of feeling upset about my absence, you should actually be quite pleased because I've never given you such a nice compliment before. Your behavior influences me; I might start flattering you. No, I’ll stick to being genuine: it’s the only way to show you my deep friendship and all the interesting things that come from it. Isn’t it nice to have a young friend who is attracted to someone else? That’s not how most women think, but it’s how I do. I’ve always believed that the joy is greater and more satisfying when there’s no worry involved. Don’t you think I’ve taken on the role of your confidant pretty quickly? But since you choose your partner so young, it’s the first time I’m starting to feel old. You’re definitely right to set yourself up for a long journey of loyalty, and I genuinely hope it’s mutual.
You do right to cherish the tender and honourable motives, which you say retard your hopes. A long defence is the only merit of those who do not always resist; and I should think it unpardonable in any other but a child, like the little Volanges, not to fly a danger, of which she has had sufficient warning by the confession she made of her love. You men have no idea of virtue, and what the sacrifice of it costs a woman; but if she is capable of reasoning, she should know, that independent of the fault she commits, a single weakness is one of the greatest misfortunes; and I cannot conceive how any can fall, if they have a moment for reflection.
You’re right to value the gentle and noble intentions that you say hold back your hopes. A long defense is the only virtue of those who don’t always stand their ground; and I would find it unforgivable in anyone else but a child, like little Volanges, not to avoid a danger when she’s already had enough warning by admitting her love. You men have no idea what virtue really means, and what it costs a woman to sacrifice it; but if she’s capable of thinking, she should understand that, aside from the mistake she makes, a single moment of weakness can be one of the biggest tragedies. I can’t imagine how anyone could fall if they just took a moment to reflect.
Do not attempt to combat this idea: it principally attaches me to you. You will save me from the dangers of love; and although I have hitherto guarded myself against them without your assistance, yet I consent to be grateful, and shall love you more and the better for it.
Do not try to fight this idea: it mainly connects me to you. You will protect me from the risks of love; and even though I have managed to guard myself against them on my own so far, I agree to be thankful, and I will love you even more and better because of it.
On which, my dear chevalier, I pray God to have you in his holy keeping.
On that note, my dear knight, I pray that God keeps you safe in His care.
Castle of ——, Oct. 22, 17—.
Castle of ——, Oct. 22, 17—.
LETTER CXXII.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE to the President de Tourvel.
I flattered myself, my lovely daughter, to have been able to calm your uneasiness; with grief, however, I am forced still to increase it; yet be pacified, my nephew is not in any dangerous way. I cannot even say he is really sick. Still there is something very extraordinary in his disorder, which is incomprehensible. I left his chamber with sensations of grief, and even of terror, which I blame myself for imparting to you, and still cannot conceal. I will give you an account of the transaction. You may depend on its veracity; Were I to live eighty years more, I should never forget this melancholy scene.
I told myself, my dear daughter, that I could ease your worry; but sadly, I now have to add to it. Still, don’t be too alarmed, my nephew is not in any serious trouble. I can't even say he's truly ill. Yet, there is something very strange about his condition that’s hard to understand. I left his room feeling grief and even fear, which I regret passing on to you, but I still can’t hide it. I’ll tell you what happened. You can trust that it's true; even if I lived for another eighty years, I’d never forget this sad scene.
I went this morning to see my nephew. He was writing, surrounded with a heap of papers, which appeared to be the object of his employment. He was so deeply engaged, I was in the middle of the room before he looked about to see who came in. As soon as he perceived me, I observed, as he rose, he endeavoured to compose his countenance, and perhaps it was that made me pay more attention to it. He was undressed, and without powder; but his countenance pale, wan, and very much altered; his look, which used to be so gay and lively, was melancholy and dejected: and, between ourselves, I would not for any consideration you had seen him thus, for his whole deportment was very affecting, and the most apt to inspire that tender compassion, which is one of the most dangerous snares of love.
I went to see my nephew this morning. He was writing, surrounded by a pile of papers that seemed to be what he was working on. He was so focused that I was in the middle of the room before he noticed I’d arrived. As soon as he saw me, I noticed that, as he stood up, he tried to put on a composed expression, and maybe that’s why I paid more attention to it. He was dressed casually and without any product in his hair; but his face was pale, thin, and very much changed; his expression, which used to be so cheerful and lively, was sad and downcast. Honestly, I wouldn’t want you to have seen him like that for anything, because his whole demeanor was very moving and most likely to inspire that tender compassion, which is one of the most dangerous traps of love.
Although struck with those remarks, yet I began a conversation as if I had not taken notice of any thing. First, I enquired about his health; and without saying it was very good, he did not complain of its being bad. I then began to lament his recluseness, which had something the appearance of a disordered fancy, and endeavoured to mingle a little sprightliness with my reprimand: but he replied in an affecting tone; “I confess it is another error, which shall be repaired with the rest.” His looks more than his reply, disconcerted my cheerfulness; and I told him, he took up a little friendly reproach in too serious a manner.
Although I was taken aback by his comments, I initiated a conversation as if I hadn’t noticed anything. First, I asked about his health; and without saying it was great, he didn’t complain that it was bad. Then I started to express my concern about his seclusion, which seemed a bit like a troubled mindset, and tried to add a touch of lightness to my criticism. But he responded in a heartfelt tone, “I admit this is another mistake, which I will fix like the others.” His expression, more than his words, dampened my mood, and I told him he was taking my light-hearted rebuke too seriously.
We then began to chat on indifferent matters. A little while after he told me, an affair, the greatest affair of his whole life, would, perhaps, soon call him back to Paris. I was afraid to guess at it, my lovely dear; and lest this beginning should lead to a confidence I did not wish, asked him no questions, but only replied, a little dissipation might put him in better health; saying, at this time I would not press him, as loving my friends for their own sake. At this so simple a speech, he squeezed my hands, and with a vehemence I can’t express, “Yes, my dear aunt,” said he, “love a nephew who respects and cherishes you, and, as you say, love him for his own sake. Do not be afflicted at his happiness, and do not disturb with any sorrow, the eternal tranquillity he soon hopes to enjoy. Repeat once more, you love me, you forgive me; yes, you will forgive me; I know the goodness of your heart: but can I hope for the same indulgence from those I have so grievously offended?” Then leaned down towards me, as I believe to conceal some marks of grief, which, however, the tone of his voice betrayed.
We then started talking about random things. After a while, he told me that a matter, the biggest matter of his entire life, might soon bring him back to Paris. I hesitated to guess what it was, my dear; and to avoid this leading to a conversation I didn’t want to have, I didn’t ask him any questions, but simply said that a little change might improve his health; I mentioned that I wouldn’t press him for now, as I love my friends for who they are. At this straightforward comment, he squeezed my hands and said with a passion I can’t describe, “Yes, my dear aunt, love a nephew who respects and cares for you, and, as you say, love him for who he is. Don’t be upset about his happiness, and don’t let any sadness disrupt the peace he hopes to enjoy soon. Tell me again that you love me and that you forgive me; yes, I know you will forgive me; I recognize the goodness in your heart: but can I expect the same kindness from those I’ve hurt so deeply?” Then he leaned closer to me, as if to hide some signs of sorrow, which, however, his voice betrayed.
Inexpressibly affected, I rose suddenly; and he, no doubt, observed my affright, for instantly composing himself, he replied, “Your pardon, Madam, I perceive I am wandering in spite of me. I beg you will remember my profound respect, and forget my expressions. I shall not omit waiting on you before my departure to renew them.” This last sentence seemed to imply a wish, I should terminate my visit; I accordingly retired.
Incredibly moved, I stood up abruptly; and he, of course, noticed my fear, so he quickly collected himself and said, “Excuse me, ma’am, I realize I’m rambling despite my best efforts. Please remember my deep respect and overlook what I said. I won’t forget to come by before I leave to express my sentiments again.” This last remark suggested that he wanted me to end my visit, so I took my leave.
I am lost in reflection, as to his meaning. What can this affair be, the greatest of his whole life? On what account should he ask my pardon? From whence could that involuntary melting proceed whilst he was speaking? I have since put myself those questions a thousand times, without being able to solve them. I can’t even discover any thing relative to you; yet, as the eyes of love are more penetrating than those of friendship, I would not conceal any thing from you that passed between my nephew and me.
I’m deep in thought about what he meant. What could this situation be, the most significant of his entire life? Why would he ask for my forgiveness? What caused that unexpected emotional moment while he was talking? I’ve asked myself these questions a thousand times since then, but I still can’t figure it out. I can’t even find anything related to you; still, since the eyes of love see deeper than those of friendship, I won’t hide anything from you about what happened between my nephew and me.
This is the fourth time I have sat down to write this long letter, which I should yet have made longer, but for the fatigue I undergo. Adieu, my lovely dear!
This is the fourth time I’ve sat down to write this long letter, which I should have made longer if it weren't for the fatigue I'm feeling. Goodbye, my beautiful dear!
Castle of ——, Oct. 25, 17—.
Castle of ——, Oct. 25, 17—.
LETTER CXXIII.
FATHER ANSELMUS to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
FATHER ANSELMUS to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
I received, Monsieur Viscount, the letter you did me the honour to write to me, and yesterday, as you requested, waited on the person mentioned. I laid before her the motives and intentions that induced you to this measure. Although very determined to pursue the prudent resolution she at first took, yet on the remonstrances I made, that by a refusal she might incur the danger of throwing an obstacle in the way of your conversion and in a manner oppose the designs of all-merciful Providence, she consented to receive your visit, on condition nevertheless, it shall be the last; and has desired me to inform you, she should be at home on Thursday next, the 28th. If this day should not be convenient for you, please to inform her, and appoint some other; your letter will be received.
I got your letter, Monsieur Viscount, and yesterday, as you requested, I met with the person you mentioned. I explained to her the reasons and intentions behind your request. Although she was initially set on her prudent decision, after I pointed out that refusing could create an obstacle to your conversion and go against the designs of all-merciful Providence, she agreed to see you, on the condition that it will be the last time. She asked me to let you know she will be available on Thursday, the 28th. If that day doesn’t work for you, please let her know and suggest another; she will receive your message.
Give me leave to recommend to you, Sir, to avoid delays, unless for very cogent reasons, that you may as soon as possible give yourself up entirely to the laudable dispositions you express. Remember, whoever is silent to the calls of divine grace, exposes himself to have it withdrawn; that if the divine bounty is infinite, the dispensation of it is regulated by justice; and the time may come, when the God of mercy may be changed to a God of vengeance.
Please allow me to suggest, Sir, that you avoid any delays unless there are very compelling reasons. You should commit yourself fully to the admirable intentions you've expressed as soon as you can. Keep in mind that anyone who ignores the calls of divine grace risks having it taken away. While divine generosity is limitless, its distribution is governed by justice, and there may come a time when the God of mercy turns into a God of vengeance.
If you continue to honour me with your confidence, be assured all my care shall be devoted to you the instant you require it. Let my business be ever so great, the most important shall ever be to fulfil the duties of the holy ministry, to which I am particularly devoted; and the most valuable part of my life, that wherein I see my weak endeavours crowned with the benediction of the Most High. We are weak sinners, and cannot do any thing of ourselves! but the God that now calls you is omnipotent; and we shall equally owe to his goodness; you the desire of being reunited to him, and I the means of conducting you. It is with his divine assistance, I hope soon to convince you, that religion only can give even in this world that solid and durable happiness, which is vainly sought in the blindness of human passions. I have the honour to be, with great respect, &c.
If you keep trusting me, know that I'll dedicate all my care to you the moment you need it. No matter how busy I get, my top priority will always be to fulfill my duties in the holy ministry, which I am especially committed to; and the most meaningful part of my life is when I see my humble efforts blessed by the Most High. We are flawed beings and can’t do anything by ourselves! But the God who is calling you is all-powerful, and we both owe everything to His goodness; you have the desire to be reunited with Him, and I have the means to guide you there. With His divine help, I hope to show you soon that true religion is the only source of lasting happiness in this world, something that is foolishly sought in the chaos of human desires. I am honored to be, with great respect, &c.
Paris, Oct. 25, 17—.
Paris, Oct. 25, 1717—.
LETTER CXXIV.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
The President of Tourvel to Madame de Rosemonde.
The astonishment in which I am thrown, Madam, at the news I received yesterday, will not, however, make me forget the satisfaction it ought to give you, therefore I am in haste to impart it. M. de Valmont’s thoughts are no longer taken up with me or his love; he wishes nothing more ardently, than to repair, by a more edifying life, the faults, or rather the errors of his youth. This great event was announced to me by Father Anselmus, whom he addressed to be his director in future, and to treat with me of an interview, the principal design of which is, I imagine, to return my letters, which he has kept hitherto, notwithstanding my requisitions.
The shock I felt, Madam, when I heard the news yesterday, won’t make me forget the happiness it should bring you, so I’m eager to share it. M. de Valmont is no longer focused on me or his feelings for me; he desires nothing more than to make up for his past mistakes by leading a more respectable life. Father Anselmus, whom he has decided to have as his advisor moving forward, informed me of this significant change and will discuss with me the details of a meeting, the main purpose of which, I believe, is for him to return the letters he has kept despite my requests.
I cannot undoubtedly but applaud this happy change, and congratulate myself, if, as he says, I have any way contributed to it. But why should I have been the instrument, and that at the expence of my repose for life? Could not M. de Valmont’s happiness be completed but by my misfortune? Oh! forgive me this complaint, my most indulgent friend! I know it does not belong to mortals to fathom the decrees of heaven. Whilst I am incessantly and vainly imploring strength to overcome my unfortunate passion, it is prodigal of its favour to him who does not sue for it, and leaves me helpless a prey to my weakness.
I can't help but celebrate this wonderful change and feel good about myself if, as he says, I had any part in it. But why was I chosen to be the instrument, at the cost of my peace for life? Could M. de Valmont's happiness only be fulfilled through my misfortune? Oh! Please forgive me for this complaint, my most understanding friend! I know it's not for us mortals to understand the plans of heaven. While I'm constantly and futilely asking for the strength to overcome my unfortunate passion, it seems to generously favor him, who doesn’t even ask for it, leaving me a helpless victim of my weakness.
Let me stifle those guilty murmurs. Did not the prodigal son at his return, find more grace with his father, than the one who never had been absent? What account can we demand of him who owes us nothing? And were it possible we could have any pretensions in the sight of God, what could mine be? Should I boast of a modesty, for which I am only indebted to Valmont? It was he saved me; and shall I dare complain of suffering for him? No, my sufferings shall be dear to me, if his happiness is purchased at their expence. Doubtless, in his turn he should come back to our common father. The almighty hand that formed him should cherish its own work. He did not create that charming being to be reprobated. It is me should bear the pain of my daring imprudence. Should I not have reflected, since I was forbid loving him, I should not indulge myself in gazing on him.
Let me silence those guilty whispers. Didn’t the prodigal son, when he returned, receive more grace from his father than the one who never left? What can we ask of someone who owes us nothing? And if it were possible for me to have any grounds in the eyes of God, what could mine be? Should I take pride in a modesty that I owe only to Valmont? He’s the one who saved me; so how can I complain about suffering for him? No, my sufferings will be precious to me if his happiness comes at their expense. Surely, in turn, he should return to our common father. The mighty hand that created him should take care of its own creation. He didn’t make that charming person to be condemned. I should bear the burden of my reckless actions. Shouldn’t I have realized that since I was forbidden from loving him, I shouldn’t have allowed myself to stare at him?
My fault or misfortune is to have rejected this truth too long. You, my dear and worthy friend, will be my witness, I submitted to this sacrifice as soon as I discovered the necessity of it: but to render it complete, there wanted the circumstance of M. de Valmont not taking any share in it. Shall I confess to you, this is the idea that at present torments me most? Intolerable pride! which alleviates the evils we endure, by a consciousness of those woes we cause to others! But I will conquer this rebellious heart. I will accustom it to humiliation.
My mistake or bad luck has been holding onto this truth for too long. You, my dear and valued friend, will be my witness. I accepted this sacrifice as soon as I realized it was necessary: but to make it complete, it also needed M. de Valmont not to be involved at all. Should I admit to you that this is the idea that currently haunts me the most? Intolerable pride! which eases the pain we suffer by reminding us of the pain we inflict on others! But I will overcome this defiant heart. I will teach it to embrace humility.
This, motive exclusive of all other considerations, made me at last consent to receive next Thursday, M. de Valmont’s painful visit;—he will then tell me he no longer knows me; that the feeble, transitory impression I had made on him exists, no longer! He will look upon me without any emotion, whilst the dread of revealing mine will cast my eyes down. Even those very letters which he so long refused to my repeated solicitations, I shall receive from his indifference; he will return them as useless trifles he no longer cares for; and my trembling hand will receive this shameful trust from a tranquil steady one; last he will depart!—Depart for ever!—My eyes which will follow him, will not see his return to me.
This, having no other considerations in mind, finally led me to agree to receive M. de Valmont’s painful visit next Thursday; he will then tell me that he no longer knows me, that the weak, fleeting impression I made on him is gone! He will look at me without any feeling, while the fear of showing my own emotions will make me look down. Even those letters he long refused to give me despite my repeated requests, I will receive from his indifference; he will return them as useless things he no longer cares about, and my trembling hand will take this shameful burden from his calm, steady one; then he will leave!—Leave forever!—My eyes, which will follow him, will not see him come back to me.
Am I then reserved for all this humiliation? Let me at least make it useful by being penetrated with a sense of my weakness.—Those letters he will no longer keep, I will lay up with care:—I will impose on myself the shame of daily reading them until my tears have defaced the last letter—and his, I will destroy, as infected with the dangerous poison which has tainted my soul.—What then is love, which makes us regret even the danger it exposes us to, and dread feeling it, even when we can no longer inspire it? Let me fly this destructive passion, which leaves no choice between shame and misery, and often reunites them:—let prudence then replace virtue.
Am I really meant for all this humiliation? At least let me make it worthwhile by acknowledging my weakness. Those letters he won't keep anymore, I will cherish: I will force myself to read them daily until my tears have smudged the last one—and his, I will destroy, as they are tainted with the dangerous poison that has infected my soul. So what is love, that makes us regret even the dangers it puts us in, and dread feeling it, even when we can no longer inspire it? Let me escape this destructive passion, which offers no choice between shame and misery, often bringing them together: let prudence take the place of virtue.
How distant is this Thursday still! Why can’t I instantly consummate this sorrowful sacrifice, and forget at once the cause and the object? This visit importunes me; I repent having promised it—what occasion to see me again—what are we now to each other? If he has offended me, I forgive him—I even congratulate him on his reformation; I praise him for it; I do more, I will follow his example; and, seduced by the same errors, his example shall reform me. But why, when his resolution is to fly me, why begin by seeking me? The one that is in most danger, ought they not to forget the other? Doubtless they ought; and that shall hereafter be my sole care.
How far away is this Thursday! Why can’t I just finish this painful sacrifice and forget the reason and the person behind it? This visit is stressing me out; I regret promising it—what’s the point of seeing me again—what are we to each other now? If he has offended me, I forgive him—I even congratulate him on his change; I praise him for it; I’ll do more, I’ll follow his lead; and, caught up in the same mistakes, his example will change me too. But why, if he plans to avoid me, does he start by looking for me? Shouldn’t the one in the most danger forget the other? They definitely should; and from now on, that will be my only focus.
With your permission, my amiable friend, it shall be with you I will undertake this difficult task; if I should want assistance, or perhaps consolation, I will not receive it from any other—you alone understand and can speak to my heart:—Your endearing friendship will fill up my existence;—nothing will be difficult to second your cares:—I shall be indebted to you for my tranquillity, my happiness, my virtue; and the fruits of your goodness will be to have at length made me deserving of it.
With your permission, my dear friend, I will take on this challenging task with you; if I need help or maybe comfort, I won’t seek it from anyone else—only you understand me and can truly reach my heart. Your wonderful friendship will complete my life; nothing will be too hard to support your efforts. I will owe you for my peace, my happiness, my integrity; and the rewards of your kindness will be that you have finally made me worthy of it.
I believe I have gone very much astray in this letter, at least I think so, from the perturbed state I have been in during the whole time:—If there is a sentiment which ought to make me blush, cover it with your indulgent friendship; I submit entirely to it; I have not a wish to hide from you any emotion of my heart.
I feel like I've really lost my way in this letter, or at least I think I have, considering the troubled state I've been in the whole time:—If there's a feeling that should make me embarrassed, please cover it with your understanding friendship; I'm completely okay with that; I have no desire to hide any of my feelings from you.
Adieu, my most respectable friend! I hope to be able in a few days to announce that of my arrival.
Adieu, my most respected friend! I hope to be able to announce my arrival in a few days.
Paris, Oct. 25, 17—.
Paris, Oct. 25, 1717—.
END OF THE THIRD VOLUME.
DANGEROUS
CONNECTIONS:
A COLLECTION OF
LETTERS,
CHOSEN FROM THE COMMUNICATION
OF
A PRIVATE GROUP;
AND PUBLISHED FOR THE EDUCATION
OF SOCIETY.
I have observed the Manners of the Times, and have wrote those Letters.
J.J. Rousseau. Pref. to the New Eloise.
VOL. IV.
LONDON:
Printed for T. HOOKHAM,
At his Circulating Library, New Bond Street Corner of Bruton Street.
M.DCC.LXXXIV.
LETTER CXXV.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Viscount de Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
At last this haughty woman is conquered, who dared think she could resist me.—She is mine—totally mine.—She has nothing left to grant since yesterday.
At last, this proud woman is defeated, who dared to believe she could resist me.—She is mine—completely mine.—She has nothing left to give since yesterday.
My happiness is so great I cannot appreciate it, but am astonished at the unknown charm I feel:—Is it possible virtue can augment a woman’s value even at the time of her weakness?—Avaunt such puerile ideas—don’t we every day meet resistance more or less feigned at the first conquest? Yet I never experienced the charm I mean; it is not love—for although I have had fits of weakness with this amazing woman, which very much resembled that pusillanimous passion, I ever subdued them and returned to my first rules—if even the scene of yesterday should have led me farther than I intended; had I partook for a moment of the intoxication I raised, that transitory illusion would have been now evaporated, yet still the same charm remains—I own I should be pleased to indulge it, if it did not give me some uneasiness:—At my age must I then be mastered like a school-boy by an unknown and involuntary sentiment?—I must first oppose and then examine it.
My happiness is so overwhelming that I can’t really grasp it, yet I’m surprised by this unknown attraction I feel. Can it really be that virtue can increase a woman's worth even when she’s vulnerable? Forget those naive ideas—don’t we encounter some level of resistance, whether real or put on, during our first victories every day? Yet I’ve never felt the allure I’m talking about; this isn’t love. Even though I’ve had moments of weakness around this incredible woman, moments that closely resembled that timid kind of passion, I always managed to overcome them and return to my original principles. Even if yesterday's events might have taken me further than I intended, if I momentarily indulged in the exhilaration I created, that fleeting illusion would have already faded away. Still, the same attraction lingers. I admit I’d like to embrace it, if it didn’t make me a little uneasy. At my age, must I really be controlled like a schoolboy by a strange and involuntary feeling? I have to first resist it, then analyze it.
Perhaps I already see into the cause—the idea pleases me—I wish it may be true.
Perhaps I can already understand the reason—this thought makes me happy—I hope it’s true.
Among the multitude of women with whom I have played the part of a lover, I never met any who were not as well inclined to surrender as I was to persuade them—I used even to call those prudes who met me but halfway, in contrast to so many others, whose provoking defence is intended as a cloak to their first advances.
Among the many women with whom I've been involved, I never encountered one who was not just as willing to give in as I was to convince them—I even referred to those prudes who only met me halfway, unlike so many others whose teasing resistance is meant to disguise their initial interest.
But here I found an unfavourable prepossession against me, afterwards confirmed on the report and advice of a penetrating woman who hated me; a natural, excessive timidity, fortified with genuine modesty; a strong attachment to virtue under the powerful direction of religion, and who had already been married two years—an unsullied character—the result of those causes, which all tended to screen her from my solicitations.
But here I found a negative bias against me, later confirmed by the report and advice of a sharp woman who disliked me; a natural, intense shyness, combined with true modesty; a strong commitment to virtue guided by religion, and who had already been married for two years—an unblemished reputation—the result of factors that all worked to keep her away from my advances.
It is not any way similar to my former adventures:—a mere capitulation more or less advantageous, which is easier to be acquired than to be vain of; but this is a complete victory, purchased by a hard campaign, and decided by skilful manœuvres, therefore it is not at all surprising, this success, solely my own acquisition, should be dear to me; and the increase of pleasure I experienced in my triumph, which I still feel, is no more than the soft impression of a sentiment of glory. I indulge this thought, as it saves me the humiliation of harbouring the idea of my being dependent on the very slave I have brought under subjection, as well as the disagreeable thoughts of not having within myself the plenitude of my happiness, or that the power of calling it forth into energy and making me fully enjoy it, should be revived for this or that woman exclusively of any other.
It’s nothing like my past adventures—a simple surrender, more or less beneficial, that’s easier to achieve than to take pride in; but this is a complete victory, earned through a tough struggle and smart tactics. So it’s no wonder that this success, solely my own achievement, is important to me. The heightened joy I feel in my triumph, which I still experience, is just a gentle reminder of a sense of glory. I embrace this thought because it spares me from the embarrassment of feeling dependent on the very person I’ve conquered, as well as from the unpleasant realization that I don’t possess the fullness of my happiness within myself or that the ability to bring it forth and truly enjoy it could be tied to this or that woman, instead of being my own.
Those judicious reflections shall regulate my conduct on this important occasion and you may depend, I shall never suffer myself to be so captivated, but that I may at pleasure break those new bands:—Already I begin to talk of a rapture, and have not yet informed you how I acquired the powers—proceed and you will see to what dangers wisdom exposes itself endeavouring to assist folly—I studied my conversation and the answers to them with so much attention, I hope to be able to give you both with the utmost exactitude.
Those careful thoughts will guide my actions on this important occasion, and you can count on me to never let myself be so enchanted that I can't easily break free from those new ties. I’m already starting to speak of delight, and I haven't yet told you how I gained these abilities—keep going and you’ll see the risks wisdom takes in trying to help foolishness. I paid such close attention to my conversations and their responses that I hope to provide you both with the utmost precision.
You will observe by the annexed copies of letters,[1] what kind of mediator I fixed on to gain me admittance with my fair one, with what zeal the holy man exercised himself to reunite us; I must tell you also, I learned from an intercepted letter, according to custom, the dread the humiliation of being left, had a little disconcerted the austere devotee’s prudence, and stuffed her head and heart with ideas and sentiments which, though destitute of common sense, were nevertheless interesting—After these preliminaries necessary to be related, yesterday, Thursday the 28th, the day appointed by my ingrate, I presented myself as a timid and repentant slave, to retire a successful conqueror.
You will see from the attached copies of letters,[1] what kind of mediator I chose to help me get access to my lady, and how passionately the holy man worked to bring us back together. I should also mention that I learned from an intercepted letter that, as usual, the fear of humiliation from being left behind had slightly thrown off the serious devotee’s judgment, filling her mind and heart with thoughts and feelings that, while lacking in common sense, were still intriguing. After these necessary details, yesterday, Thursday the 28th, the day chosen by my ungrateful one, I showed up as a timid and remorseful servant, ready to leave as a triumphant victor.
It was six in the evening when I came to the fair recluse; for since her return, her gates were shut against every one. She endeavoured to rise when I was announced; but her trembling knees being unable to support her, she was obliged to sit down immediately. The servant who had showed me in, having something to do in the apartment, she seemed impatient. This interval was taken up with the usual compliments. Not to lose a moment of so precious an opportunity, I examined the room carefully, and fixed my eye on the intended spot for my victory. I could have chose a more commodious one; for there was a sopha in the room: but I observed directly opposite to it a picture of the husband; and I own I was afraid with so strange a woman, a single glance, which accidentally she might cast on that side, would in an instant have destroyed a work of so much care. At last we were alone, and I entered on the business.
It was six in the evening when I arrived at the secluded place; since her return, she had closed her gates to everyone. She tried to get up when I was announced, but her shaking knees couldn’t hold her, so she had to sit down right away. The servant who let me in had something to do in the room, and she seemed impatient. We passed the time with the usual pleasantries. Not wanting to waste this precious opportunity, I looked around the room carefully and focused on the spot I had chosen for my victory. I could have picked a more comfortable one since there was a sofa in the room, but I noticed a picture of her husband directly opposite it. I worried that with such a peculiar woman, even a quick glance in that direction could ruin all my careful planning. Finally, we were alone, and I got down to business.
After relating in few words, I supposed Father Anselmus had informed her the motive of my visit, I lamented the rigorous treatment I received, and dwelt particularly on the contempt that had been shown. She made an apology, as I expected, and you also: but I grounded the proof on the diffidence and dread I had infused; on the scandalous flight in consequence of it, the refusal to answer my letters, or even receive them, &c. &c. As she was beginning a justification, which would have been very easy, I thought proper to interrupt her; and to compensate for this abrupt behaviour, I immediately threw in a flattery. “If such charms,” said I, “have made so deep an impression on my heart, so many virtues have made as great a one on my mind. Seduced by the desire of imitating them, I had the vanity to think myself worthy of them. I do not reproach you for thinking otherwise; but I punish myself for my error.” As she preserved a silent perplexity I went on. “I wish, Madam, to be justified in your sight, or obtain your pardon for all the wrongs you suppose me to have been guilty of; that I may, at least, terminate in tranquillity a life which is no longer supportable since you refuse to embellish it.”
After sharing a few words, I assumed Father Anselmus had told her the reason for my visit. I expressed my regret over the harsh treatment I received and focused particularly on the contempt that was shown. She apologized, as I expected, and so did you. But I based my argument on the uncertainty and fear I had instilled; on the scandalous retreat that resulted from it, the refusal to respond to my letters, or even to accept them, etc., etc. As she began to justify herself, which would have been quite easy, I decided to interrupt her. To make up for my abruptness, I immediately threw in a compliment. “If such charms,” I said, “have made such a deep impact on my heart, so many virtues have made an equally great impact on my mind. Tempted by the desire to emulate them, I mistakenly believed I was deserving of them. I don't blame you for thinking differently; instead, I punish myself for my mistake.” As she remained silently confused, I continued. “I wish, Madam, to be justified in your eyes or to receive your forgiveness for all the wrongs you think I’ve committed, so that I may at least end a life that is no longer bearable since you refuse to enrich it.”
To this, however, she endeavoured to reply. “My duty would not permit me.”—The difficulty to finish the fib which duty required, did not allow her to end the sentence. I replied in the most tender strain, “Is it true, then, it was me you fled from?—this retreat was necessary—and that you should put me from you—It must be so—and for ever—I should—” It is unnecessary to tell you, during this short dialogue, the tender prude’s voice was oppressed, and she did not raise her eyes.
To this, she tried to respond. “I can’t do that; my duty won’t allow it.” The struggle to finish the lie that duty demanded kept her from completing her sentence. I answered in the sweetest way possible, “So it’s true, you ran away from me?—this escape was needed—and that you should push me away—it must be that way—and forever—I should—” It’s not necessary to mention that during this brief conversation, the shy woman’s voice was strained, and she didn’t look up.
I thought it was time to animate this languishing scene; and rising in a pet,—“Your resolution, Madam,” said I, “has given me back mine. We will part; and part forever: you will have leisure to congratulate yourself on your work.” Surprised with this reproaching tone, she should have replied—“The resolution you have taken,” said she—“Is only the effect of despair,” I replied with passion. “It is your pleasure I should be miserable—you shall have the full extent of your wish. I wish you to be happy.” Here the voice began to announce a strong emotion: then falling at her knees, in the dramatic style, I exclaimed, “Ah, cruel woman! Can there be happiness for me that you do not partake? How then shall I find it, when absent from you? Oh, never, never!”—I own, in abandoning myself thus, I depended much on the assistance of tears; but, whether for want of disposition, or, perhaps, only the continual, painful attention my mind was engaged in, I could not weep. Fortunately I recollected, all means are equally good to subdue a woman; and it would be sufficient to astonish her by a grand movement, to make a deep and favourable impression. I therefore made terror supply the place of absent sensibility; changing only my tone, but still preserving my posture, I continued, “Yes, at your feet I swear I will die or possess you.” As I pronounced those last words our eyes met. I don’t know what the timid woman saw, or thought she saw, in mine; but she rose with a terrified countenance, and escaped from my arms, which surrounded her waist: it is true, I did not attempt to hold her; for I have often observed, those scenes of despair became ridiculous when pushed with too much vivacity or lengthened out, and left no resource but what was really tragic, of which I had not the least idea. Whilst she fled from me, I added in a low disastrous tone, but so that she might hear, “Well then, death.”
I thought it was time to shake things up in this stagnant moment; and standing up in a huff, I said, “Your decision, Madam, has restored my own. We will part, and part forever: you'll have all the time to revel in what you've done.” Taken aback by my accusing tone, she should have responded—“The choice you've made,” she said—“is just a result of despair,” I retorted passionately. “It's your pleasure to see me suffer—you'll get exactly what you want. I wish for you to be happy.” Here, my voice began to show strong emotion; then dropping to my knees in a dramatic fashion, I exclaimed, “Ah, cruel woman! Can there be happiness for me that you don't share? How can I ever find it when I'm away from you? Oh, never, never!”—I confess, as I let myself go like this, I was counting a lot on the power of tears; but whether it was due to a lack of feeling, or perhaps just the constant, painful focus my mind was caught up in, I couldn’t cry. Thankfully, I remembered that all tactics can work to win over a woman; and it would be enough to shock her with a grand gesture to leave a lasting and positive impression. So, I let fear take the place of absent emotion; only changing my tone while keeping my position, I continued, “Yes, at your feet I swear I will either die or have you.” As I said those last words, our eyes met. I don’t know what the timid woman saw, or thought she saw, in my eyes; but she stood up with a look of terror and slipped out of my embrace, which was around her waist: it’s true, I didn’t try to hold her back; for I’ve often noticed that these moments of despair become ridiculous if they go on too long or are overdone, leaving no other option but a truly tragic outcome, which I had no clue about. As she ran from me, I added in a low, sorrowful tone, but loud enough for her to hear, “Well then, death.”
I rose silently, and casting a wild look on her, as if by chance, nevertheless observed her unsteady deportment, her quick respiration, her contracted muscles, her trembling, half-raised arms; every thing gave me sufficient evidence, the effect was such as I wished to produce: but as in love nothing can be brought to issue at a distance, and we were pretty far asunder, it was necessary to draw nearer. To attain which, I assumed, as soon as possible, an apparent tranquillity, proper to calm the effects of this violent agitation, without weakening the impression. My transition was:—“I am very miserable. I only wished to live for your happiness, and I have disturbed it:”—then with a composed but constrained air;—“Forgive me, Madam; little used to the rage of passions, I do not know how to suppress their violence. If I am wrong in giving way to them, I beg you will remember it shall be the last time. Compose yourself; I entreat you compose yourself.” During this long discourse, I drew near insensibly. “If you wish I should be calm,” replied the terrified fair, “do you then be calm.” “I will then, I promise you,” said I; and in a weaker tone, “If the effort is great, it ought not at least to be long: but I came to return your letters. I request you will take them. This afflicting sacrifice is the only one remaining; let me have nothing to weaken my resolution.” Then drawing from my pocket the precious collection—“Here is the deceitful deposit of your friendship: it made this life supportable; take it back, and give the signal that is to separate us for ever.” Here the timid lover gave way to her tender grief—“But, M. de Valmont, what is the matter? What do you mean? Is not your proceeding to-day your own voluntary act? Is it not the result of your own reflections? And is it not they have approved this necessary step, in compliance with my duty?” I replied, “Well, this step decides mine.”—“And what is that?”—“The only one that can put an end to my sufferings, by parting me from you.”—“But answer me what is it.”—Then pressing her in my arms without any opposition, and observing from the neglect of decency, how strong and powerful her emotions were, I exclaimed, “Adorable woman! you can’t conceive the love you inspire. You will never know how much you was adored, and how much dearer this passion was than my existence. May all your days be fortunate and peaceful! May they be decorated with that happiness you have deprived me of! At least, repay this sincere wish with one sigh, one tear; and be assured, the last sacrifice I make will not be the most painful to my heart. Adieu!”
I got up quietly, and glancing at her with a wild look, I noticed her unsteady posture, her rapid breathing, her tight muscles, and her trembling arms; everything showed me that I had achieved the effect I wanted. But since love can’t be resolved from a distance, and we were quite far apart, I needed to move closer. To do this, I quickly put on a calm façade to counteract the intense emotions I was feeling without diminishing the impact. I shifted the conversation to: “I’m very unhappy. I only wanted to live for your happiness, and I’ve disrupted it.” Then, with a composed but forced demeanor, I said, “Forgive me, Madam; I'm not used to dealing with strong emotions, and I don’t know how to control them. If I’m wrong for giving in to them, please know it won’t happen again. Please calm yourself; I urge you to calm down.” As I spoke at length, I moved closer. “If you want me to be calm,” the frightened woman replied, “then you need to be calm.” “I will be, I promise,” I said, and in a softer voice, “If the effort is great, it shouldn’t last too long: but I came to return your letters. I ask that you take them. This painful sacrifice is the only one left; I need nothing to weaken my resolve.” Then, pulling out the treasured collection, I said, “Here is the misleading token of your friendship: it made this life bearable; take it back and signal our permanent separation.” The timid lover then gave way to her sadness—“But, M. de Valmont, what’s wrong? What do you mean? Isn’t your action today your own choice? Didn’t your thoughts lead you to this necessary decision in line with my duty?” I replied, “Well, this decision determines mine.” “And what is that?”—“The only thing that can end my suffering by removing me from you.”—“But tell me what it is.” Then, pulling her into my arms without any resistance and noticing the intensity of her feelings through her loss of decorum, I exclaimed, “Beautiful woman! You can’t
Whilst I spoke, I felt her heart throb violently; her countenance altered; her tears almost suffocated her. Then I resolved to feign retreat: but she held me strongly.—“No, hear what I have to say,” said she, eagerly. I answered, “Let me go.”—“You shall hear me.”—“I must fly from you; I must.”—“No,” she exclaimed; then sunk, or rather swooned in my arms. I was still doubtful of so happy an issue, seemed much terrified, and still led, or rather carried her to the place I had marked out for the field of glory. She did not recover herself until she was submitted, and given up to her happy conqueror.
As I spoke, I could feel her heart racing; her expression changed, and her tears almost choked her. Then I decided to pretend to pull away, but she held on tightly. “No, listen to what I have to say,” she said eagerly. I replied, “Let me go.” “You need to hear me.” “I have to get away from you; I really do.” “No,” she cried out, then collapsed, or rather fainted, in my arms. I still doubted that this would end well, was quite frightened, and continued to lead, or rather carry, her to the spot I had chosen for our moment of triumph. She didn’t regain her composure until she had surrendered and was given over to her victorious conqueror.
So far, my lovely friend, you will perceive a methodical neatness, which I am sure will give you pleasure. You will also observe, I did not swerve in the least from the true principles of this war, which we have often remarked bore so near a resemblance to the other. Rank me, then, with the Turennes or the Fredericks. I forced the enemy to fight who was temporising. By skilful manœuvres, gained the advantage of the ground and dispositions; contrived to lull the enemy into security, to come up with him more easily in his retreat; struck him with terror before we engaged. I left nothing to chance; only a great advantage, in case of success; or a certainty of resources, in case of a defeat. Finally, the action did not begin till I had secured a retreat, by which I might cover and preserve all my former conquests. What more could be done? But I begin to fear I have enervated myself, as Hannibal did with the delights of Capua.
So far, my dear friend, you'll notice a careful organization, which I’m sure you'll appreciate. You will also see that I didn’t stray at all from the true principles of this war, which we’ve often noted is quite similar to the other. So rank me alongside the Turennes or the Fredericks. I forced the enemy to fight who was stalling. Through clever maneuvers, I gained the upper hand in positioning; I managed to lull the enemy into a false sense of security so I could catch up with him more easily in his retreat; I instilled fear before we engaged. I left nothing to chance; only a significant advantage if we succeeded, or a reliable fallback if we failed. Ultimately, the action didn’t start until I secured a retreat that would allow me to cover and preserve all my previous conquests. What more could be done? But I’m starting to worry that I’ve weakened myself, just like Hannibal did with the pleasures of Capua.
I expected so great an event would not pass over without the customary tears and grief. First I observed somewhat more of confusion and recollection than is usual, which I attributed to her state of prudery. Without paying much attention to those slight differences, which I imagined merely local, I followed the beaten road of consolation; fully persuaded, as commonly happens, the sensations would fly to the assistance of sentiment, that one act would prevail more than all my speeches, which I did not, however, neglect: but I met with a resistance really tremendous: less for its excess, than the form under which it appeared. Only think of a woman sitting stiff and motionless, with unalterable features; seeming divested of the faculties of thinking, hearing, or understanding, from whose eyes tears flowed without effort. Such was M. de Tourvel during my conversation. If I endeavoured to recall her attention by a caress, or even the most innocent gesture, terror immediately followed this apparent apathy, accompanied with suffocation, convulsions, sobs, and shrieks by intervals, but without a word articulated. Those fits returned several times, and always stronger; the last was even so violent, I was much frightened, and thought I had gained a fruitless victory. I returned to the usual common-place phrases—“What do you then regret you have made me the happiest man on earth?” At those words this adorable woman turned to me; her countenance, although still a little wild, had yet recovered its celestial expression. “The happiest?” said she.—You may guess my reply. “You are happy, then?”—I renewed my protestations. “Have I made you happy?”—I added praises, and every thing tender. Whilst I was speaking, all her members were stilled; she fell back softly in her chair, giving up a hand I ventured to take. “This idea relieves and consoles me,” said she.
I expected such a huge event wouldn’t happen without the usual tears and sadness. At first, I noticed a bit more confusion and reflection than usual, which I attributed to her overly proper demeanor. Without paying much attention to those minor differences, which I thought were just local, I followed the usual path of consolation; fully convinced, as often happens, that feelings would take over and that one gesture would have a bigger impact than all my words, which I still didn’t neglect. However, I faced a really intense resistance, not just because of its severity, but because of how it manifested. Just picture a woman sitting stiff and motionless, with an unchanging expression; she seemed completely devoid of the ability to think, hear, or understand, and tears streamed effortlessly from her eyes. That was M. de Tourvel during our conversation. Whenever I tried to regain her attention with a caress or even the most innocent gesture, terror would immediately follow this apparent indifference, accompanied by choking, convulsions, sobs, and intermittent shrieks, but without a single word spoken. These fits came back several times, each one stronger; the last one was so violent that I grew quite scared and thought I had achieved a pointless victory. I resorted to the usual clichés—“What do you regret for making me the happiest man on earth?” At those words, this beautiful woman turned to me; her face, although still a bit wild, had regained its heavenly expression. “The happiest?” she said. You can guess my response. “So, you are happy, then?”—I repeated my declarations. “Have I made you happy?”—I offered her compliments and everything tender. As I spoke, all her limbs relaxed; she leaned back softly in her chair, surrendering a hand that I dared to take. “This thought comforts and consoles me,” she said.
You well believe, being thus brought back in the right road, I quitted it no more; it certainly was the best, and, perhaps, the only one. When I made a second attempt, I met some resistance; what had happened before made me more circumspect: but having called on my idea of happiness for assistance, I soon experienced its favourable influence. “You are right,” replied the tender creature, “I can support my existence no longer than it contributes to your happiness. I devote myself entirely to you. From this moment I give myself up to you. You shall no more experience regret or refusal from me.” Thus with artless or sublime candour did she deliver her person and charms, increasing my happiness by sharing it. The intoxication was complete and reciprocal: for the first time mine survived the pleasure. I quitted her arms, only to throw myself at her feet, and swear eternal love. To own the truth, I spoke as I thought. Even after we parted, I could not shake off the idea; and I found it necessary to make extraordinary efforts to divert my attention from her.
You can believe that, having been brought back onto the right path, I never left it again; it was definitely the best, and maybe the only one. When I tried again, I faced some resistance; my previous experience made me more cautious. But calling on my idea of happiness for help, I quickly felt its positive influence. “You’re right,” replied the sweet person, “I can’t keep living unless it adds to your happiness. I’m fully devoted to you. From this moment on, I give myself to you completely. You won’t feel regret or refusal from me anymore.” With innocent or profound honesty, she offered herself and her beauty, making me even happier by sharing it. The intoxication was total and mutual: for the first time, my feelings persisted beyond the pleasure. I left her arms just to throw myself at her feet and swear eternal love. To be honest, I spoke what I felt. Even after we separated, I couldn’t shake off the thought, and I found I had to make great efforts to distract myself from her.
I wish you were now here, to counterpoise the charm of the action by the reward: but I hope I shall not lose by waiting; for I look on the happy arrangement I proposed in my last letter as a settled point between us. You see I dispatch business as I promised: my affairs will be so forward, I shall be able to give you some part of my time. Quickly get rid, then, of the stupid Belleroche, and leave the whining Danceny to be engrossed solely by me. How is your time taken up in the country? You don’t even answer my letters. Do you know, I have a great mind to scold you? Only prosperity is apt to make us indulgent. Besides, I can’t forget ranging myself again under your banner. I must submit to your little whim. Remember, however, the new lover will not surrender any of the ancient rights of the friend.
I wish you were here now to balance the excitement of the situation with its reward. But I hope waiting won’t be a loss for me; I see the happy plan I suggested in my last letter as a done deal between us. You can see I’m handling things as I promised: my tasks will be so advanced that I’ll be able to spend some time with you. So, quickly get rid of the boring Belleroche and let the whining Danceny be entirely my concern. How is your time spent in the country? You don’t even reply to my letters. You know, I really feel like scolding you. But success tends to make us lenient. Plus, I can’t forget about teaming up with you again. I have to go along with your little whim. Just remember, though, the new lover won't give up any of the old rights of the friend.
Adieu, as formerly!—Adieu, my angel! I send you the softest kisses of love.
Adieu, just like before!—Goodbye, my angel! I’m sending you the sweetest kisses of love.
P. S. Poor Prevan, at the end of his month’s imprisonment, was obliged to quit his corps; it is public all over Paris. Upon my word he is cruelly treated, and your success is complete.
P. S. Poor Prevan, after a month in jail, had to leave his unit; it's common knowledge all over Paris. I swear he’s being treated terribly, and your victory is total.
Paris, Oct. 29, 17—.
Paris, Oct. 29, 1717—.
[1] Letters cxx and cxxii.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_1__ and __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_2__.
LETTER CXXVI.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE to the President de Tourvel.
I would have answered your letter sooner, my dear child, if the fatigue of my last had not brought on a return of my disorder, which has deprived me ever since of the use of my arm. I was very anxious to thank you for the good news you gave me of my nephew, and not less to congratulate you sincerely on your own account. Here the interposition of Providence is visible, that touching the heart of the one has also saved the other. Yes, my lovely dear! the Almighty, who sent you this trial, has assisted you in the moment your strength was exhausted; and notwithstanding your little murmurings, I think you have great reason to return him your unfeigned thanks: not but I believe you would have been very glad to have been the first in this resolution, and that Valmont’s should have been the consequence of it; I even think, humanly speaking, the dignity of our sex would have been better preserved, and we are not fond of giving up any of our rights. But what are these considerations to those more important objects! We seldom hear a person saved from shipwreck complain, the means were not in his option.
I would have replied to your letter sooner, my dear child, if the exhaustion from my last message hadn't caused a flare-up of my condition, which has left me unable to use my arm. I really wanted to thank you for the great news about my nephew and also to sincerely congratulate you on your own success. Here, the intervention of Providence is clear; by touching one heart, it has also saved another. Yes, my lovely dear! The Almighty, who put you through this challenge, has helped you just when you were running low on strength; and despite your minor complaints, I believe you have plenty of reasons to express your genuine gratitude to Him. I know you would have preferred to be the pioneer in this decision, with Valmont following your lead; I truly think, from a human perspective, that the dignity of our gender would have been better upheld, and we're not keen on giving away any of our rights. But what do those concerns matter compared to the more significant issues at hand! We rarely hear of someone saved from a shipwreck complaining, as the means were beyond their control.
You will soon experience, my dear child, the afflictions you dreaded so much will grow lighter of themselves, and even were they to last for ever in their full force, you will be sensible they are easier to bear than the remorse of guilt or self-contempt. It would have been useless to talk to you before with this apparent severity: love is an independent passion, that prudence may make us avoid, but cannot conquer, which when once it has taken root, must die its own natural death, or of absolute despair. This last being your case, gives me the resolution and the right to tell you freely my sentiments. It is cruel to frighten a sick person that is despaired of, to whom palliatives only and consolations should be administered: but it is the part of wisdom to remind those on the recovery, of the dangers they escaped, to assist them with necessary prudence and submission to the advice they stand in need of. As you have chose me for your physician, in that character I address you, and tell you, the little inconveniencies you feel at present, which may require, perhaps, some remedies, are nothing in comparison of the dreadful disorder whose cure is now certain. Then, as your friend, as the friend of a virtuous and reasonable woman, give me leave to add, this passion you have subdued, so unhappy in itself, became infinitely more so in its object. If I am to believe what I am told, my nephew, who I must own I love even to a degree of weakness, unites many laudable qualities to a great many attractions, is very dangerous to the women, blameable in his behaviour towards them, and piques himself as much on exposing as seducing them. I really believe you would have converted him. Sure never was any one so worthy; however, so many others flattered themselves in the same manner, whose hopes were frustrated, that I am overjoyed to find you are not reduced to that resource.
You will soon find, my dear child, that the troubles you’ve feared will lessen on their own, and even if they were to last forever at their worst, you’ll realize they’re easier to handle than the pain of guilt or self-hatred. It would have been pointless to speak to you with this apparent harshness earlier: love is a powerful emotion that we can try to avoid through caution, but we cannot overcome it. Once it takes root, it will either fade away naturally or die from absolute despair. Since this is your situation, I feel it’s necessary and appropriate to share my thoughts with you openly. It’s cruel to scare someone who’s already feeling hopeless; they only need comfort and relief. But it’s wise to remind those who are recovering of the dangers they’ve avoided, helping them with the necessary care and the advice they need. Since you’ve chosen me as your doctor, I speak to you in that role and want to say that the minor discomforts you’re experiencing right now, which may need some remedies, are nothing compared to the serious issue you’re now certain to overcome. Then, as your friend and as a friend of a virtuous and sensible woman, let me add that the passion you’ve managed to suppress, which is unfortunate in itself, became even more unfortunate in its object. If I’m to believe what I’ve heard, my nephew, whom I must admit I love to a fault, has many commendable qualities alongside many charms, but he’s quite dangerous to women, behaving poorly towards them as he takes pride in both exposing and seducing them. I honestly believe you could have changed him. No one has ever been so deserving; however, many others have hoped for the same outcome, only to be disappointed, so I’m really glad to see you’re not left with that option.
Reflect now, my dear woman, that instead of so many dangers as you would have had to go through, you will have, besides the testimony of a good conscience and your own peace, the satisfaction of being the cause of Valmont’s reformation. I own, I think it in a great measure owing to your resolute defence, and that a moment’s weakness on your part would have left my nephew in lasting disorders. I love to indulge this way of thinking, and wish you to do the same; you will find it consoling; it will be an additional reason for me to love you the more.
Reflect now, my dear woman, that instead of facing so many dangers as you would have had to endure, you will have, in addition to a clear conscience and your own peace of mind, the satisfaction of being the reason for Valmont’s transformation. I truly believe it’s largely due to your strong defense that my nephew isn’t left in lasting turmoil. I enjoy thinking this way and hope you do too; you’ll find it comforting, and it will give me yet another reason to love you even more.
I shall expect you in a few days, my dear child, as you promised. You will once more find serenity and happiness where you lost them. Come and rejoice with your tender mother, that you have so happily kept your word to do nothing unworthy yourself or her.
I look forward to seeing you in a few days, my dear child, as you promised. You'll once again find peace and happiness where you lost them. Come and celebrate with your loving mother, that you have so wonderfully upheld your promise to do nothing unworthy of yourself or her.
Castle of ——, Oct. 30, 17—.
Castle of ——, Oct. 30, 17—.
LETTER CXXVII.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the Viscount Valmont.
It was not for want of time, that I did not answer your letter of the 19th, Viscount, but plainly because it put me out of temper, and did not contain a single syllable of common sense. I thought it then the best way to leave it in oblivion—but since you seem fond of this production, and the sublime ideas it contains, that you construe my silence into consent, it is necessary you should have my opinion explicitly.
It wasn't for lack of time that I didn't respond to your letter from the 19th, Viscount, but simply because it annoyed me and had no ounce of common sense. I thought it best to let it go unnoticed—but since you seem to enjoy this piece and the lofty ideas it presents, interpreting my silence as agreement, I need to share my opinion clearly.
I may have heretofore formed the design of singly performing the functions of a whole seraglio; but it never entered my head to become only a part of one; this I thought you knew, now, that you cannot plead ignorance, you may readily conceive how ridiculous your proposition must appear to me. Should I sacrifice an inclination, and a new one, for you? And in what manner, pray? Why, waiting for my turn, like a submissive slave, the sublime favours of your highness. When, for example, you was inclined to relax for a moment from that unknown charm that the adorable, the celestial M. de Tourvel only had made you feel;—or when you dread to risk with the engaging Cecilia, the superior idea you wished her to preserve for you;—then condescending to stoop to me, you will seek pleasures less violent, but of not much consequence, and your inestimable bounty, though scarce, must fill the measure of my felicity. Certainly you stand high in your own opinion; and my modesty nor my glass have yet prevailed on me to think I am sunk so low. This may be owing to my wrong way of thinking; but I beg you will be persuaded I have more imaginations of the same kind.
I might have previously considered the idea of fulfilling all the roles of a whole harem by myself; however, it never crossed my mind to be just a part of one. I thought you were aware of this, and now that you can’t claim ignorance, you can easily see how absurd your proposal seems to me. Should I give up a desire, and embrace a new one, for you? And how would that even work? By waiting for my turn, like a submissive servant, for the extraordinary favors of your highness? For instance, when you feel like taking a break from that unknown charm that only the adorable, the celestial M. de Tourvel has made you experience; or when you hesitate to risk the engaging Cecilia for the elevated image you want her to hold of you; then, lowering yourself to me, you'll search for pleasures that are less intense, but not really significant, and your priceless generosity, though rare, must be enough to fill my happiness. Clearly, you think quite highly of yourself; and neither my humility nor my reflection has led me to believe I have fallen so low. This might be due to my misguided way of thinking; but please be assured that I have more thoughts along the same lines.
One especially, which is, that Danceny, the school-boy, the whiner, totally taken up with me, sacrificing, without making a merit of it, his first love, even before it was enjoyed, and loving me to that excess that is usual with those at his age, may contribute more to my happiness and pleasure than you—I will even take the liberty to add, that if I had the inclination to give him a partner, it should not be you, at least now.
One in particular, which is that Danceny, the schoolboy, the whiner, completely focused on me, sacrificing, without trying to make it a big deal, his first love, even before it began, and loving me to an extent typical for someone his age, may actually bring me more happiness and pleasure than you—I’ll even take the liberty to say that if I wanted to give him a partner, it definitely wouldn’t be you, at least not right now.
Perhaps you’ll ask me why? Probably I should be at a loss for a reason; for the same whim that would give you the preference, might also exclude you. However, politeness requires I should inform you of my motive—I think you must make too many sacrifices; and instead of being grateful, as you certainly would expect, I should be inclined to think you still owed me more—You must therefore be sensible, our manner of thinking being so opposite, we can by no means unite: I fear it will be some time, nay a great while, before I change my opinion.
Perhaps you’ll ask me why? I probably shouldn’t have a reason; the same whim that makes me prefer you could also lead me to exclude you. However, out of politeness, I should let you know my motive—I think you make too many sacrifices; and instead of being grateful, as you would definitely expect, I’m inclined to think you still owe me more. So, you must realize that since our ways of thinking are so different, we can’t possibly come together. I fear it will be some time, indeed quite a while, before I change my mind.
When that happens, I promise to give you notice:—Until then, let me advise you to take some other measures, and keep your kisses for those to whom they will be more agreeable.
When that happens, I promise to let you know:—Until then, I suggest you take other actions and save your kisses for those who will appreciate them more.
You say adieu, as formerly! but formerly, if I remember, you set a greater value on me than to appoint me entirely to the third characters; and was content to wait until I answered in the affirmative, before you was certain of my consent: don’t be angry then, if instead of saying adieu, as formerly, I say adieu, as at present.
You say goodbye, like before! but back then, if I remember correctly, you valued me more than to only assign me to the third characters; and you were willing to wait until I agreed before you were sure of my consent: so don’t be mad if instead of saying goodbye, like before, I say goodbye, like now.
Your servant, Viscount.
Your servant, Viscount.
The castle of ——, Oct. 31, 17—.
The castle of ——, Oct. 31, 1700s.
LETTER CXXVIII.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
I did not receive, until yesterday, Madam, your dilatory answer—it would instantly have put an end to my existence if I had any left; but M. de Valmont is now in possession of it: you see I do not conceal any thing from you; if you no longer think me worthy your friendship, I dread the loss of it less than to impose on you; to tell you all in all, I was placed by M. de Valmont, between his death and happiness—I chose the latter—I neither boast nor accuse myself; I relate the fact plainly as it is.
I only received your delayed response yesterday, Madam. If I had any life left in me, it would have ended immediately; but M. de Valmont now has it. You see, I'm not hiding anything from you. If you no longer consider me worthy of your friendship, I worry less about losing it than I do about deceiving you. To be completely honest, M. de Valmont put me in a position where I had to choose between his death and his happiness—I chose the latter. I'm not bragging or blaming myself; I'm just stating the facts as they are.
You will readily perceive, after this, what kind of impression your letter, and the truths it contains, must have made on me. Do not, however, imagine, it could give birth to any repining, or ever make me alter my sentiments or conduct; not that I am exempt from some torturing moments; but when my heart is rent, and I dread not being any longer able to bear my torments, I say to myself, Valmont is happy; and at this idea my miseries vanish; all is converted into joy.
You will quickly realize, after this, what kind of impression your letter and its truths have made on me. However, don’t think it could lead me to complain or change my feelings or actions; not that I don’t have some painful moments; but when my heart is aching and I fear I might not be able to endure my suffering, I tell myself, Valmont is happy; and with that thought, my miseries disappear; everything turns into joy.
It is to your nephew, then, I have devoted myself; it is for his sake I am undone; he is now the centre of my thoughts, sentiments, and actions. Whilst my life can contribute to his happiness, I shall cherish it; I shall think it fortunate; if he should hereafter think otherwise, he shall never hear from me either complaint or reproach. I have already ventured to fix my eyes on this fatal period, and my resolution is taken.
It is to your nephew, then, that I have dedicated myself; it is for his sake that I'm being ruined; he is now the center of my thoughts, feelings, and actions. As long as my life can contribute to his happiness, I will treasure it; I will consider it lucky. If he should think differently in the future, he will never hear a complaint or reproach from me. I have already dared to focus on this tragic time, and my decision is made.
You will now perceive how little I am affected with the dread you seem to entertain, that M. de Valmont, will one day or other defame me—Before that happens, he must lose the affection he has for me; that once lost, of what signification will vain reproaches be which I shall never hear? He alone will judge me, as I will have lived for him, and him only; and my memory will repose in him; and if he will be obliged to acknowledge I loved him, I shall be justified sufficiently.
You can see how little I care about the fear you have that M. de Valmont will someday slander me. Before that could happen, he would have to stop loving me; and once that happens, what does it matter how I’m criticized if I never hear it? He will be the only one to judge me since I have lived for him and only him; my memory will rest with him; and if he is forced to admit that I loved him, that will be enough justification for me.
Now, Madam, you read my heart—I preferred the misfortune of being deprived of your esteem by my candour, to that of making myself unworthy of it by the baseness of a lie. I thought I owed this entire confidence to your former goodness; the addition of a word would, perhaps, give room to suspect I should be vain enough yet to depend on it; far from it: I will do myself justice, by giving up all pretensions to it.
Now, Madame, you understand my feelings—I would rather face the misfortune of losing your respect because I'm being honest than make myself unworthy of it by being deceitful. I felt I owed you complete honesty because of your past kindness; adding just a word might suggest that I'm arrogant enough to still rely on it; that’s not the case at all: I want to be fair to myself by letting go of any claims to it.
I am with great respect, Madam, your most humble and most obedient servant.
I am, with great respect, Madam, your most humble and obedient servant.
Paris, Nov. 1, 17—.
Paris, Nov. 1, 1717—.
LETTER CXXIX.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Viscount Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Whence arises, my charming friend, this strain of acrimony and ridicule which runs through your last letter? What crime have I unintentionally committed which puts you so much out of temper? You reproach me with presuming on your consent before I had obtained it—I imagined, however, what might appear like presumption in any one else, would, between you and me, be only the effect of confidence. I would be glad to know how long has this sentiment been detrimental to friendship or love? Uniting hope with desire, I only complied with that natural impulse, which makes us wish to draw as near as possible to the happiness we are in pursuit of—and you have mistaken that for vanity, which is nothing more than ardour. I know very well, in such cases, custom has introduced a respectful apprehension; but you also know, it is only a kind of form, a mere precedent; and I imagined myself authorised to believe those trifling niceties no longer necessary between us.
Where does this bitterness and mockery in your last letter come from, my dear friend? What unintentional mistake have I made that has put you in such a bad mood? You accuse me of assuming your approval before actually getting it—I thought that what might seem like presumption to anyone else would just be seen as confidence between us. I’d like to know how long this attitude has harmed friendship or love? By combining hope with desire, I was simply following that natural urge to get as close as possible to the happiness we’re pursuing—and you’ve mistaken that for vanity, which is really just passion. I understand that convention has created a need for respectful caution in these situations; but you also know it’s just a formality, a mere custom; and I thought I could assume those little formalities were no longer necessary between us.
I even think this free and open method much preferable to insipid flattery, which so often love nauseates, when it is grounded on an old connection. Moreover, perhaps the preference I give this method proceeds from the happiness it recalls to my memory—this gives me more uneasiness that you should take it in another light. However, this is the only thing that I am culpable in—for I cannot believe you can seriously imagine, that the woman exists who I would prefer to you; and still less, that I should estimate you so little as you feign to believe. You say, you have consulted your glass on this occasion, and you do not find yourself sunk so low—I believe it; and that only proves your glass to be true—but should you not rather from thence concluded that certainly that was not my opinion.
I actually think this open and honest approach is way better than boring flattery, which love often gets stuck on when it's based on an old connection. Plus, maybe my preference for this method comes from the happiness it brings to my mind—this makes me more uneasy about you interpreting it differently. Still, this is the only thing I'm guilty of—because I can't believe you really think there's anyone I would prefer over you; even less that I would think so little of you as you seem to believe. You mentioned that you've looked in the mirror and don’t see yourself as low as I might think—I've no doubt that's true; and that just proves your mirror is accurate—but shouldn’t you conclude from that that my opinion is definitely not that?
In vain I seek the cause of this strange idea—however, I suspect it is more or less dependent on the praises I lavished on other women—at least, this I infer, from the affectation of quoting the epithets, adorable, celestial, attaching, which I used, speaking of Madam de Tourvel, and the little Volanges: but you are not to be told, those words, which are oftener the effect of chance than reflection, express more the situation one happens to be in at the time, than the value one sets upon the person. If at the time I was affected with the one or the other, I nevertheless rapturously wished for you—If I gave you an eminent preference over both, as I would not renew our first connection without breaking off the two others, I do not think there is such great reason for reproaches.
I’m struggling to understand why I have this strange thought—though I think it might have something to do with the compliments I’ve poured on other women. At least that’s what I gather from the way I’ve used words like adorable, celestial, attaching, when I talked about Madam de Tourvel and little Volanges. But you should know that those words often come from spontaneous feelings rather than deep thought; they reflect more about my mood at the moment than how much I value the person. Even if I was infatuated with one or the other at the time, I still longed for you. If I favored you above all and wanted to cut ties with the others before reconnecting, I don’t think there’s much reason for you to blame me.
I shall not find it more difficult to exculpate myself from the charge of the unknown charm, which, it seems, shocks you not a little; for being unknown, it does not follow that it is stronger—What can equal the delights you alone can always embellish with novelty and bliss? I only wished to convey to you an idea, it was a kind I never before experienced; but without pretending to give it any rank; and added, what I again repeat, whatever it be, I will overcome it: and shall exert myself more zealously if I can in this trifling affair, to have one homage more to offer to you.
I won’t find it harder to clear my name from the accusation of the unknown charm, which seems to shock you a bit; just because it's unknown doesn’t mean it’s stronger—What can compare to the joys you alone can always enhance with something fresh and wonderful? I just wanted to share an idea with you, one I’ve never felt before; but I’m not trying to give it any special significance. And I’ll say again, whatever it is, I’ll conquer it: and I’ll try even harder, if I can, in this small matter, to have one more tribute to offer you.
As to the little Cecilia, it is useless to mention her: you have not forgot it was at your instance I took charge of this child; and only wait your orders to be rid of her. I may have made some remarks on her bloom and innocence; and for a moment thought her engaging, because one is always more or less pleased with their work; but she has not, in any shape, consistency to fix the attention.
As for little Cecilia, there's no point in mentioning her: you remember it was at your request that I took responsibility for this child; I'm only waiting for your instructions to let her go. I might have commented on her charm and innocence and briefly thought she was adorable, since we tend to feel some satisfaction in our work; but she lacks any real substance to hold anyone's focus.
Now, my lovely friend, I appeal to your justice, your first attachment to me, the long and sincere friendship, the unbounded confidence which have linked us together—have I deserved the severe manner in which you have treated me? But how easy can you make me amends when you please! Speak but the word, and you will see whether all the charms, all the attachments will keep me here, not a day, but even a minute; I will fly to your feet—into your arms—and will prove a thousand times, and in a thousand ways, that you are, you ever will be, the only mistress of my heart.
Now, my dear friend, I ask for your fairness, your original bond with me, the long and genuine friendship, and the complete trust that have connected us—have I really earned the harsh treatment you've given me? But you can easily make things right whenever you want! Just say the word, and you’ll see if all the charm, all the connections, will keep me here, not for a day, but even for a minute; I will rush to your feet—into your arms—and I will prove again and again, in countless ways, that you are, and will always be, the only one who holds my heart.
Adieu, my lovely friend! I wait your answer impatiently.
Goodbye, my lovely friend! I’m eagerly waiting for your response.
Paris, Nov. 3, 17—.
Paris, Nov. 3, 1717—.
LETTER CXXX.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE, to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE, to the President de Tourvel.
Why, my lovely dear, will you no longer be my daughter? Why do you seem to announce that our correspondence is to cease?[1] Is it to punish me for not guessing at what was improbable; or do you suspect me of creating you affliction designedly? I know your heart too well, to imagine you would entertain such an opinion of mine.—The distress your letter plunges me in is much less on my own account than yours. Oh! my young friend, with grief I tell you, you are too worthy of being beloved ever to be happy in love—Where is there a truly delicate and sensible woman, who has not met unhappiness where she expected bliss? Do men know how to rate the women they possess?
Why, my lovely dear, will you no longer be my daughter? Why do you seem to announce that our communication is coming to an end?[1] Is it to get back at me for not figuring out what was unlikely; or do you think I intentionally caused your suffering? I know your heart too well to believe you would think that about me.—The distress your letter puts me in is much more about you than it is about me. Oh! my young friend, with sorrow I must tell you, you deserve to be loved too much to ever find happiness in love—Where is there a truly sensitive and intelligent woman who hasn’t encountered unhappiness when she expected joy? Do men really know how to appreciate the women they have?
Not but many of them are virtuous in their addresses and constant in their affections—but even among those, how few that know how to put themselves in unison with our hearts. I do not imagine, my dear child, their affection is like ours—They experience the same transport often with more violence, but they are strangers to that uneasy officiousness, that delicate solicitude, that produces in us those continual tender cares, whose sole aim is the beloved object—Man enjoys the happiness he feels, woman that she gives.
Not many of them are sincere in their communication and steadfast in their feelings—but even among those, how few actually align with our hearts. I don’t think, my dear child, their love is like ours—They often feel the same passion, sometimes even more intensely, but they lack that anxious attentiveness, that gentle concern, that leads us to those constant tender gestures, all focused on the one we love—A man enjoys the happiness he experiences, while a woman values the happiness she gives.
This difference, so essential, and so seldom observed, influences in a very sensible manner, the totality of their respective conduct. The pleasure of the one is to gratify desires; but that of the other is to create them. To know to please, is in man the means of success; and in woman it is success itself.
This difference, so essential and so rarely noticed, significantly affects the overall behavior of each. One finds pleasure in satisfying desires, while the other finds joy in generating them. For a man, knowing how to please is a way to achieve success; for a woman, it is success itself.
And do not imagine, the exceptions, be they more or less numerous, that may be quoted, can be successfully opposed to those general truths, which the voice of the public has guaranteed, with the only distinction as to men of infidelity from inconstancy; a distinction of which they avail themselves, and of which they should be ashamed; which never has been adopted by any of our sex but those of abandoned characters, who are a scandal to us, and to whom all methods are acceptable which they think may deliver them from the painful sensation of their own meanness.
And don’t think that the exceptions, whether many or few, can successfully challenge the general truths that the public has upheld. There’s a clear difference between men who are unfaithful and those who are simply unreliable; a distinction that they use for their own benefit, and one that they should feel ashamed of. This distinction has only been embraced by those of our gender who have lost all sense of decency, and they are a disgrace to us. They’re willing to resort to any means they believe will help them escape the discomfort of their own shamefulness.
I thought, my lovely dear, those reflections might be of use to you, in order to oppose the chimerical ideas of perfect happiness, with which love never fails to amuse our imagination. Deceitful hope! to which we are still attached, even when we find ourselves under the necessity of abandoning it—whose loss multiplies and irritates our already too real sorrows, inseparable from an ardent passion—This task of alleviating your troubles, or diminishing their number, is the only one I will or can now fulfil—In disorders which are without remedy, no other advice can be given, than as to the regimen to be observed—The only thing I wish you to remember is, that to pity is not to blame a patient. Alas! who are we, that we dare blame one another? Let us leave the right of judging to the searcher of hearts; and I will even venture to believe, that in his paternal sight, a crowd of virtues, may compensate a single weakness.
I thought, my dear, that these reflections might help you challenge the unrealistic ideas of perfect happiness that love always uses to captivate our imagination. What a deceptive hope! We hold on to it even when we have to let it go—losing it only makes our already painful sorrows worse, sorrows that come with deep passion. My only goal now is to ease your troubles or lessen their number. In situations that can't be fixed, the best advice is to manage them as best as you can. I just want you to remember that feeling pity doesn't mean blaming someone who's suffering. Alas! Who are we to judge each other? Let’s leave the judging to the one who knows our hearts; I even dare to believe that in his loving eyes, many virtues can make up for one weakness.
But I conjure you above all things, my dear friend, to guard against violent resolutions, which are less the effects of fortitude than despondency: do not forget, that although you have made another possessor of your existence (to use your own expression) you had it not in your power to deprive your friends of the share they were before possessed of, and which they will always claim.
But I urge you, above all else, my dear friend, to avoid rash decisions, which are more a sign of despair than strength. Remember, even though you've given someone else a part of your life (to use your own words), you didn't have the right to take away the piece that your friends already had, and they will always claim their share.
Adieu, my dear child! Think sometimes on your tender mother; and be assured you always will be, above every thing, the dearest object of her thoughts.
Goodbye, my dear child! Sometimes think of your loving mother; and know that you will always be, above everything else, the most cherished part of her thoughts.
Castle of ——, Nov. 4, 17—.
Castle of ——, Nov. 4, 17—.
[1] See Letter cxxviii.
LETTER CXXXI.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The Marchioness de Merteuil to the Viscount Valmont.
Very well, Viscount; come, I am better pleased with you than I was before: now let us converse in a friendly manner, and I hope to convince you, the scheme you propose would be the highest act of folly in us both.
Very well, Viscount; come, I feel better about you than I did before: now let’s talk in a friendly way, and I hope to convince you that the plan you suggested would be the biggest mistake for both of us.
Have you never observed that pleasure, which is the primum mobile of the union of the sexes, is not sufficient to form a connection between them? and that if desire, which brings them together, precedes it, it is nevertheless followed by disgust, which repels it—This is a law of nature, that love alone can alter; and pray, can we have this same love at will? It is then necessary it should be always ready, which would have been very troublesome had it not been discovered, it is sufficient if it exists on one side: by this means the difficulty is lessened by half, even without apparent prejudice; for the one enjoys the happiness of loving, the other of pleasing—not perhaps in altogether so lively a manner, but that is compensated by deceit, which makes the balance, and then all is right.
Have you ever noticed that pleasure, which is the driving force behind the connection between the sexes, isn't enough to create a bond? And that while desire, which brings them together, comes first, it is often followed by disgust, which pushes them apart—this is a natural law that only love can change; and can we summon this kind of love whenever we want? It must always be ready, which would be quite inconvenient if it weren't found that just one person feeling it is enough: this way, the challenge is reduced by half, even without causing obvious harm; because one person gets the joy of loving, while the other experiences the joy of being pleasing—not necessarily in as intense a way, but that's balanced out by deceit, which makes everything work out, and then all is well.
But say, Viscount, which of us two will undertake to deceive the other? You know the story of the two sharpers who discovered each other at play—“We must not prejudice ourselves,” said they; “let us club for the cards, and leave off.” Let us follow this prudent advice, nor lose time together, which we may so usefully employ elsewhere.
But tell me, Viscount, which one of us will try to trick the other? You know the tale of the two con artists who found each other while gambling—"We shouldn't harm our interests," they said; "let's pool our cards and quit." Let's take this wise advice and not waste time together, which we could use more productively elsewhere.
To convince you that I consult your interest as much as my own, and that I am not actuated either by ill humour or capriciousness, I will not refuse your reward—I am very sensible one night will be sufficient; and do not in the least doubt, we shall know how to make it so pleasing, the morning will come with regret—but let us not forget, this regret is necessary to happiness; although the illusion may be enchanting, nor flatter ourselves it can be durable.
To show you that I care about your interests just as much as my own, and that I'm not being moody or unreasonable, I won’t turn down your reward—I know one night will be enough; and I have no doubt we’ll make it so enjoyable that in the morning, we’ll feel some regret—but let’s not forget, this regret is essential to happiness; even though the experience may be delightful, let’s not kid ourselves that it will last.
You see I fulfil my promise in my turn, and even before you perform the conditions stipulated—for I was to have had your celestial prude’s first letter. Whether you do not choose to part with it, or that you have forgot the conditions of a bargain that is not so interesting to you as you would have me think, I have not received any thing; and I am much mistaken, or the tender devotee must have wrote a great deal; for how can she employ her time alone? she certainly has not sense enough for dissipation? If I was inclined, then, I have room to make you some little reproaches, which I shall pass over in silence, in consideration of the petulance I perhaps showed in my last letter.
You see, I keep my promise in return, even before you meet the conditions we agreed on—since I was supposed to receive the first letter from your celestial prude. Whether you don’t want to part with it, or if you’ve forgotten the terms of a deal that doesn’t interest you as much as you’d have me believe, I haven’t received anything. And I could be wrong, but I’d think the tender devotee must have written a lot; how else could she spend her time alone? She certainly isn’t clever enough for distraction. If I were to complain, I could bring up a few small grievances, but I’ll let it go this time, considering the impatience I might have shown in my last letter.
Nothing more remains, now, Viscount, but to make you a request, and it is as much for you as myself; that is, to defer the time, which perhaps I wish for as much as you, but which I think may be put off until my return to town. On the one hand, it would be very inconvenient here; and on the other, it would be running too great a risk; for a little jealousy would fix me with the dismal Belleroche, who no longer holds but by a thread. He is already struggling to love me; we are at present so critically circumstanced, I blend as much malice as prudence in the caresses I lavish on him; at the same time you will observe, it would not be a sacrifice worthy of you—A reciprocal infidelity will add power to the charm.
Nothing more remains, Viscount, but to ask you for a favor that’s just as much for you as it is for me: to postpone the timing, which I might want just as much as you, but I believe can wait until I return to the city. On one hand, it would be really inconvenient here; on the other hand, it would be too risky because a bit of jealousy could tie me to the gloomy Belleroche, who is already hanging on by a thread. He’s already struggling to love me; we’re in such a delicate situation right now that I mix both malice and caution in the affection I show him; at the same time, you’ll notice it wouldn’t be a sacrifice worthy of you—mutual infidelity will only enhance the allure.
Do you know I regret sometimes we are reduced to those resources—At the time we loved each other, for I believe it was love, I was happy—and you, Viscount—but why engage our thoughts on a happiness that can never return? No, say what you will, it is impossible—First, I should require sacrifices that you could not or would not make; that probably I do not deserve. Again, how is it possible to fix you? Oh, no; I will not even think of it; and notwithstanding the pleasure I now have in writing to you, I prefer quitting you abruptly. Adieu, Viscount.
Do you know I sometimes regret that we’re left with just these feelings? Back when we loved each other, and I truly believe it was love, I was happy—and you, Viscount—but why dwell on a happiness that can never come back? No, say what you want, it’s impossible—First, I would need sacrifices from you that you either can’t or won’t make; and maybe I don’t even deserve them. Plus, how can I fix things between us? Oh, no; I won’t even think about it; and even though I enjoy writing to you now, I’d rather cut this off suddenly. Goodbye, Viscount.
Castle of ——, Nov. 6, 17—.
Castle of ——, Nov. 6, 17—.
LETTER CXXXII.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
Deeply impressed, Madam, with your goodness, to which I would entirely abandon myself, if I was not restrained from accepting by the dread of profaning it. Why, convinced of its inestimable value, must I know myself no longer worthy of it? Let me, at least, attempt to testify my gratitude. I shall admire, above all, the lenity of virtue, which views weakness with the eye of compassion; whose powerful charm preserves its forcible but mild authority over hearts, even by the side of the charm of love.
Deeply impressed, ma'am, by your kindness, to which I would fully surrender myself, if I weren't held back from accepting it by the fear of ruining it. Why, knowing its priceless value, must I see myself as unworthy of it? Let me at least try to show my gratitude. I will especially admire the gentleness of virtue, which looks at weakness with compassion; its powerful charm maintains its strong yet gentle authority over hearts, even alongside the allure of love.
Can I still be worthy a friendship, which is no longer useful to my happiness? I must say the same of your advice. I feel its force, but cannot follow it. How is it possible to discredit perfect happiness, when I experience it this moment? If men are such as you describe them, they must be shunned, they are hateful: but where is the resemblance between Valmont and them? If, in common with them, he has that violence of passion you call transport, is it not restrained by delicacy? My dear friend, you talk of sharing my troubles; take a part, then, in my happiness; to love I am indebted for it, and how immensely does the object raise its value! You love your nephew, you say, perhaps, with fondness: ah! if you knew him as I do, you would idolize him, and yet even less than he deserves. He has undoubtedly been led astray by some errors; he does not conceal it; but who like him ever knew what was love? What can I say more? He feels it as he inspires it. You will think this is one of the chimerical ideas with which love never fails to abuse our imagination: but in my case, why should he be more tender, more earnest, when he has nothing farther to obtain? I will own, I formerly thought I observed an air of reflection and reserve, which seldom left him, and which often, contrary to my inclination, recalled to me the false and cruel impressions that were given me of him; but since he has abandoned himself without constraint to the emotions of his heart, he seems to guess at all my desires. Who knows but we were born for each other? If this happiness was not reserved for me to be necessary to his!—Ah! if it be an illusion, let me die before it ends.—No, I must live to cherish, to adore him. Why should he cease loving me? What woman on earth could he make happier than me? And I experience it by myself, this happiness that he has given rise to, is the only and the strongest tie. It is this delicious sentiment that exalts and purifies love, and becomes truly worthy a tender and generous mind, such as Valmont’s.
Can I still be worthy of a friendship that's no longer bringing me happiness? I have to say the same about your advice. I feel its impact, but I can't follow it. How can I disregard perfect happiness when I'm experiencing it right now? If men are as you describe, they should be avoided; they are terrible. But where's the similarity between Valmont and them? Sure, he has that intense passion you call overwhelming, but isn’t it tempered by sensitivity? My dear friend, you talk about sharing my troubles; why not share in my happiness too? I owe that happiness to love, and it truly elevates everything! You say you care for your nephew, maybe even fondly: ah! If you knew him like I do, you would adore him, and even that would be less than he deserves. He’s definitely made some mistakes; he doesn't hide it. But who else has ever understood love like he does? What more can I say? He feels it just as much as he inspires it. You might think this is one of those fanciful ideas that love always tricks our minds with: but in my case, why would he be more loving and sincere when he has nothing left to gain? I have to admit, I used to notice a thoughtful and reserved look that rarely left him, one that often reminded me, against my will, of the false and cruel impressions I had of him. But since he has let himself fully embrace his feelings, he seems to understand all my desires. Who knows, maybe we were meant for each other? If this happiness weren't meant for me to be essential to his!—Ah! If it's an illusion, let me die before it fades away.—No, I need to live to treasure, to adore him. Why would he stop loving me? What woman on earth could he make happier than I am? I feel it myself; this happiness he’s brought me is the only and strongest connection. It’s this wonderful feeling that elevates and purifies love, making it truly deserving of a tender and generous mind like Valmont’s.
Adieu, my dear, my respectable, my indulgent friend! Vainly should I think of continuing my letter. This is the hour he promised to come, and every idea flies before him. Your pardon. But you wish me happiness; it is now so great I can scarce support it.
Adieu, my dear, my respected, my understanding friend! It would be pointless for me to keep writing this letter. This is the time he promised to arrive, and all my thoughts vanish at the thought of him. Please forgive me. But you want me to be happy; it's so overwhelming now that I can hardly handle it.
Paris, Nov. 7, 17—.
Paris, Nov. 7, 1717—.
LETTER CXXXIII.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
The Viscount de Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
What, then, my charming friend, are those sacrifices you think I would not make to your pleasure? Let me only know them; and if I hesitate to offer them to you, I give you leave to refuse the homage. What opinion have you of late conceived of me, when even favourably inclined, you doubt my sentiments or inclinations? Sacrifices that I would not or could not make! So you think I am in love, subdued! The value I set on the success, you suspect is attached to the person. Ah! thank heaven, I am not yet reduced to that, and I offer to prove it. I will prove it, if even it should be at Madame de Tourvel’s expence. Certainly after that you cannot have a doubt remaining.
What, then, my lovely friend, are those sacrifices you think I wouldn’t make to please you? Just let me know what they are, and if I'm hesitant to offer them, feel free to reject my efforts. What do you think of me lately, when even when you're feeling positive, you doubt my feelings or intentions? Sacrifices that I wouldn’t or couldn’t make! So you believe I’m in love, controlled! You think the value I place on success is linked to a person. Thank goodness, I haven’t sunk that low, and I’m willing to prove it. I’ll prove it, even if it comes at Madame de Tourvel’s expense. After that, you shouldn’t have any doubt left.
I may, I believe, without committing myself, give up some time to a woman, who, at least, has the merit of being of a cast rarely met. The dead season, perhaps, when this adventure took its rise, was another reason to give myself totally up to it; even now that the grand current of company scarcely begins to flow, it is not surprising my time is almost entirely taken up with her. I beg you will also recollect, it is scarce eight days I enjoy the fruits of three months labour. I have often indulged longer with what has not been so valuable, and had not cost me so much; and yet you never from thence drew any conclusions against me.
I think I can spend some time with a woman who is quite unique, without making any serious commitments. The off-season, when this adventure began, was another reason to fully immerse myself in it; even now that social events are just starting to pick up, it’s not surprising that most of my time is taken up by her. Please also remember that it’s barely been eight days since I’ve enjoyed the results of three months of hard work. I’ve often spent more time on things that weren’t as valuable and didn’t cost me as much, and yet you never judged me for that.
Shall I tell you the real cause of my assiduity? It is this. She is naturally of a timid disposition; at first she doubted incessantly of her happiness, which was sufficient to disturb it; so that I but just begin to observe how far my power extends in this kind. This I was curious to know, and the occasions are not so readily offered as one may think.
Shall I tell you the true reason for my diligence? It's this. She's naturally shy; at first, she constantly questioned her happiness, which was enough to upset it. So I’m just starting to see how far my influence reaches in this matter. I was curious to find out, and opportunities don’t come up as easily as you might think.
In the first place, pleasure is nothing but mere pleasure with a great number of women, and never any thing else; with them, whatever titles they think proper to adorn us with, we are never but factors, simple commissioners, whose activity is all their merit, and among whom he who performs most is always esteemed the best.
In the first place, pleasure is just pleasure for many women, and nothing more; to them, no matter what titles they choose to give us, we are merely agents, simple representatives, where our efforts are all that matters, and among us, the one who does the most is always considered the best.
In another class, the most numerous now-a-days, the celebrity of the lover, the pleasure of carrying him from a rival, the dread of a reprisal again, totally engage the women. Thus we are concerned more or less in this kind of happiness which they enjoy; but it depends more on circumstances than on the person: it comes to them by us, and not from us.
In another class, the most common nowadays, the excitement of having a lover, the thrill of stealing him away from a rival, and the fear of revenge completely captivate women. So, we are more or less involved in this type of happiness that they experience; however, it relies more on the situation than on the individual: it comes to them through us, not from us.
It was then necessary to find a woman of delicacy and sensation to make my observations on, whose sole concern should be love, and in that passion be absorbed by the lover; whose emotions, disdaining the common track, should fly from the heart to the senses; who I have viewed, (I don’t mean the first day) rise from the bed of delight all in tears, and the instant after recover voluptuousness by a word that touched her soul. She must also have united that natural candour, which habitude had made insurmountable, and would not suffer her to dissemble the least sentiment of her heart. You must agree with me, such women are scarce; and I am confident, if I had not met this one, I never should have found another.
It was necessary to find a woman who had sensitivity and depth to base my observations on, whose only focus should be love, and who would be completely absorbed by her feelings for her partner; whose emotions, dismissing the ordinary path, would soar from the heart to the senses; who I have seen, (not on the first day) get out of bed in tears of joy, and moments later regain her pleasure with just a word that touched her deeply. She also had to possess a natural honesty that her experiences had made unbreakable, and wouldn’t allow her to hide any true feelings. You have to agree with me, such women are rare; and I’m sure that if I hadn't met this one, I would never have found another.
Therefore it is not at all surprising she should have fascinated me longer than another; and if the time I spend makes her happy, perfectly happy, why should I refuse it, especially when it is so agreeable to me? But because the mind is engaged, must the heart be enslaved? Certainly not. And the value I set on this adventure will not prevent my engaging in others, or even sacrificing this to some more agreeable one.
Therefore, it’s no surprise that she fascinated me longer than anyone else. If the time I spend with her makes her perfectly happy, why should I hold back, especially when it brings me joy? But just because my mind is involved, does that mean my heart has to be trapped? Certainly not. The value I place on this experience won’t stop me from pursuing others or even choosing a more enjoyable one over it.
I am even so much at liberty, that I have not neglected the little Volanges, to whom I am so little attached. Her mother brings her to town in three days, and I have secured my communication since yesterday; a little money to the porter, a few soft speeches to the waiting maid, did the business. Would you believe it? Danceny never thought of this simple method. Where, then, is the boasted ingenuity of love? Quite the contrary; it stupifies its votaries. Shall I not, then, know how to preserve myself from it? Be not uneasy, in a few days I shall divide the impression, perhaps rather too strong, it made on me, and weaken it; if one will not do, I will increase them.
I have so much freedom that I haven't ignored the young Volanges, to whom I feel very little attached. Her mother is bringing her to the city in three days, and I've set up my communication since yesterday; a little money for the porter, a few kind words for the maid, and it was done. Can you believe it? Danceny never thought of this simple plan. So where's the so-called cleverness of love? On the contrary, it just makes its followers dull. Shouldn't I know how to protect myself from it? Don't worry, in a few days I’ll share the intense impression it made on me and lessen it; if one isn’t enough, I’ll increase them.
Nevertheless, I shall be ready to give up the young pensioner to her discreet lover, when you think proper. I can’t see you have any longer reason to oppose it. I freely consent to render poor Danceny this signal service: upon my word, it is but trifling, for all those he has done for me. He is now in the greatest anxiety to know whether he will be admitted at Madame de Volanges’s. I keep him as easy as possible, by promising some how or other to gratify him one of those days; in the mean time, I take upon me to carry on the correspondence, which he intends to resume on his Cecilia’s arrival. I have already six of his letters, and shall have one or two more before the happy day. This lad must have very little to do.
Nevertheless, I'm ready to hand over the young pensioner to her discreet lover whenever you think it's right. I don’t see any reason for you to oppose it anymore. I willingly consent to do this big favor for poor Danceny, considering everything he has done for me. He’s really anxious to find out if he’ll be welcomed at Madame de Volanges’s. I keep him as calm as possible by promising him that I’ll somehow make it happen one of these days. In the meantime, I’m taking care of the correspondence that he plans to resume when his Cecilia arrives. I already have six of his letters and will get one or two more before the big day. This guy must not have much to do.
However, let us leave this childish couple, and come to our own business, that I may be entirely engaged with the pleasing hope your letter has given me. Do you doubt of fixing me yours? If you do, I shall not forgive you. Have I ever been inconstant? Our bands have been loosened, but never broken; our pretended rupture was an error only of the imagination; our sentiments, our interests, are still the same. Like the traveller who returned undeceived, I found out, as he did, I quitted happiness to run after hope.[1] The more strange lands I saw, the more I I loved my country. No longer oppose the idea, or sentiment rather, that brings you back to me. After having tried all manner of pleasures in our different excursions, let us sit down and enjoy the happiness of knowing, that none is equal to what we have experienced, and that we shall again find more delicious.
However, let’s put this childish couple aside and focus on our own matters, so that I can fully immerse myself in the pleasant hope your letter has given me. Do you doubt that you belong to me? If you do, I won’t forgive you. Have I ever been unfaithful? Our ties have been loosened, but never broken; our supposed breakup was just a figment of the imagination; our feelings and interests are still the same. Like the traveler who returned enlightened, I realized, as he did, that I left behind happiness to chase after hope.[1] The more strange places I visited, the more I appreciated my homeland. No longer resist the thought, or rather the feeling, that brings you back to me. After trying all kinds of pleasures on our various journeys, let’s settle down and enjoy the happiness of knowing that none compares to what we’ve experienced, and that we will discover even more delightful moments together.
Adieu, my lovely friend! I consent to wait your return; however, hasten it as much as possible, and do not forget how much I wish for it.
Goodbye, my dear friend! I'm willing to wait for your return; however, please hurry back as quickly as you can, and don’t forget how much I long for it.
Paris, Nov. 8, 17—.
Paris, Nov. 8, 1717—.
LETTER CXXXIV.
MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the Viscount Valmont.
Upon my word, Viscount, you are exactly like the children, before whom one cannot speak a word, nor show a thing but they must have it immediately. Because I just mention an idea that came into my head, which I even told you I was not fixed on, you abuse my intention, and want to tie me down, at the time I endeavour to forget it, and force me in a manner to share your thoughtless desires. Are you not very ungenerous to make me bear the whole burthen of prudential care? I must again repeat, and it frequently occurs to me, the method you propose is impossible. When you would even throw in all the generosity you mention, do you imagine I am divested of my delicacies, and I would accept sacrifices prejudicial to your happiness?
Honestly, Viscount, you are just like children, who can’t hear a word or see something without wanting it right away. I just mentioned an idea that popped into my head, which I mentioned I wasn’t committed to, yet you twist my intentions and try to pin me down to something I’m trying to forget, forcing me to share your reckless desires. Isn’t it selfish of you to make me carry all the weight of sensible caution? I have to say again, and I often think about it, that the approach you’re suggesting is impossible. Even if you throw in all the generosity you talk about, do you really think I can just ignore my own feelings and accept compromises that would harm your happiness?
My dear Viscount, you certainly deceive yourself in the sentiment that attaches you to M. de Tourvel. It is love, or such a passion never had existence. You deny it in a hundred shapes; but you prove it in a thousand. What means, for example, the subterfuge you use against yourself, for I believe you sincere with me, that makes you relate so circumstantially the desire you can neither conceal nor combat, of keeping this woman? Would not one imagine, you never had made any other happy, perfectly happy? Ah! if you doubt it, your memory is very bad: but that is not the case. To speak plainly, your heart imposes on your understanding, and pays it off with bad arguments: but I, who am so strongly interested not to be deceived, am not so easily blinded.
My dear Viscount, you’re definitely fooling yourself about your feelings for M. de Tourvel. It’s love, or something like it; otherwise, it doesn’t really exist. You deny it in a hundred ways, but you reveal it in a thousand others. What do you mean, for instance, by the excuses you tell yourself? I believe you’re honest with me, but your detailed account of the desire you can’t hide or fight against for wanting to keep this woman makes it seem like you’ve never made anyone else truly happy. If you doubt that, your memory isn’t great—but that’s not the case. To be straightforward, your heart is tricking your mind, and it’s paying it off with poor justifications; but I, who have a strong interest in not being misled, am not so easily deceived.
Thus, as I remarked, your politeness made you carefully suppress every word you thought would displease me, I could not help observing, perhaps, without taking notice of it; nevertheless you preserved the same ideas. It is no longer the adorable, the celestial Madame de Tourvel, but an astonishing woman, a delicate sentimental woman, even to the exclusion of all others; a wonderful woman, such as a second could not be found. The same way with your unknown charm, which is not the strongest. Well; be it so: but since you never found it out till then, it is much to be apprehended you will never meet it again; the loss would be irreparable. Those, Viscount, are sure symptoms of love, or we must renounce the hope of ever finding it. You may be assured I am not out of temper now; and have made a promise, I will not be so any more: I foresee it might become a dangerous snare. Take my word for it, we had better remain as we are, in friendship. Be thankful for my resolution in defending myself; for sometimes one must have it, not to take a step that may be attended with bad consequences.
So, as I mentioned, your politeness made you hold back any words you thought might upset me, and I couldn’t help but notice, maybe without meaning to; still, you kept the same thoughts. It’s no longer the lovely, heavenly Madame de Tourvel, but an incredible woman, a sensitive sentimental woman, standing out from all the rest; a remarkable woman, such as no other could be found. The same goes for your unknown charm, which is not the strongest. Alright; fine: but since you never realized it until now, it’s likely you won’t discover it again; that would be a huge loss. Those, Viscount, are clear signs of love, or we might as well give up the hope of ever finding it. You can trust that I’m not upset right now; I’ve made a promise not to let that happen again: I see how it could turn into a dangerous trap. Believe me, it’s better for us to stay as we are, as friends. You should be grateful for my determination to protect myself; sometimes you need it to avoid taking steps that could lead to bad consequences.
It is only to persuade you to be of my opinion, I answer the demand you make, on the sacrifices I would exact, and you could not make. I designedly use the word exact, because immediately you will think me too exacting—so much the better: far from being angry with your refusal, I shall thank you for it. Observe, I will not dissemble with you; perhaps I have occasion for it.
It’s only to convince you to share my opinion that I respond to your request about the sacrifices I would demand, and you couldn’t fulfill. I intentionally use the word "demand," because right away, you'll think I'm being too demanding—which is actually good. Instead of being upset by your refusal, I’ll appreciate it. Just so you know, I won’t hide anything from you; maybe I need to.
First I would exact—take notice of the cruelty! that this same rare, this astonishing Madame de Tourvel, should be no more to you than any other woman; that is, a mere woman: for you must not deceive yourself; this charm, that you believe is found in others, exists in us, and it is love only embellishes the beloved object so much. What I now require, although so impossible for you to grant, you would not hesitate to promise, nay, even to swear; but I own I would not believe you the more. I could not be convinced, but by the whole tenor of your conduct.
First, I want you to notice the cruelty! This incredible, astonishing Madame de Tourvel should mean no more to you than any other woman; that is, just a woman. Don’t fool yourself; the charm you think you see in others is right here with us, and it’s love that makes the beloved person seem so special. What I'm asking for, even though it’s impossible for you to give, you wouldn’t hesitate to promise, or even swear to. But honestly, I wouldn’t believe you any more than before. I could only be convinced by the way you act.
That is not all; I should be whimsical, perhaps; the sacrifice you so politely offer me of the little Cecilia, does not give me the least uneasiness: on the contrary, I should require you to continue this toilsome duty until farther orders. Whether I should like thus to abuse my power, or whether more indulgent, or more reasonable, it would satisfy me to dispose of your sentiments without thwarting your pleasures. I would, however, be obeyed, and my commands would be very severe.
That’s not all; I might be a bit whimsical here; the sacrifice you so kindly offer me of the little Cecilia doesn’t bother me at all. On the contrary, I’d expect you to keep up this tiresome duty until I say otherwise. Whether I’d want to misuse my power like that or be more lenient or reasonable, it would please me to manage your feelings without interfering with your enjoyment. However, I would insist on being obeyed, and my orders would be quite strict.
Certainly I should think myself obliged to thank you, and, who knows? perhaps to reward you. As for instance, I might shorten an absence, which would be insupportable to me. I should at length see you again, Viscount; and see you again—How?—Remember this is only a conversation, a plain narrative of an impossible scheme. I must not be the only one to forget it.
Certainly, I should feel obligated to thank you, and who knows? Maybe even reward you. For example, I could make my time away shorter, which would be unbearable for me. I would finally get to see you again, Viscount; and see you again—How?—Keep in mind this is just a conversation, a straightforward account of an impossible plan. I shouldn’t be the only one to forget it.
I must tell you my lawsuit begins to make me a little uneasy. I was determined to know exactly what my pretensions were. My lawyers have quoted me some laws, and a great many authorities, as they call them; but I can’t perceive so much reason and justice in them. I am almost afraid I did wrong to refuse the compromise; however, I begin to be encouraged, when I consider my attorney is skilful, my lawyer eloquent, and the plaintiff handsome. If those reasons were to be no longer valid, the course of business must be altered; then what would become of the respect for old customs? This lawsuit is actually the only thing keeps me here. That of Belleroche is finished; the indictment quashed, each party to bear their own costs: he even is regretting not to be at the ball to-night; the regret of a man out of employment. I shall let him free at my return to town. In making this grievous sacrifice, I am consoled by the generosity he finds in it.
I have to admit that my lawsuit is starting to make me a bit anxious. I was set on figuring out exactly what my claims were. My lawyers have mentioned some laws and a lot of “authorities,” as they call them; but I don’t see much reason or justice in them. I’m almost afraid I made a mistake by rejecting the compromise; however, I feel a little better when I think about how skilled my attorney is, how persuasive my lawyer is, and how good-looking the plaintiff is. If those reasons no longer held true, then the way things work would have to change; so what would happen to the respect for old customs? This lawsuit is actually the only thing keeping me here. Belleroche's case is wrapped up; the indictment is dismissed, with each side covering their own costs: he even regrets not being at the ball tonight—just the regret of a guy without a job. I’ll let him go free when I get back to town. In making this tough sacrifice, I find comfort in the kindness he sees in it.
Adieu, Viscount! write to me often. The particulars of your amusements will make me amends partly for the dulness I suffer.
Goodbye, Viscount! Write to me often. The details of your adventures will help make up for the boredom I'm feeling.
Castle of ——, Nov. 11, 17—.
Castle of ——, Nov. 11, 17—.
LETTER CXXXV.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
The President DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
I am now endeavouring to write to you, and know not whether I shall be able. Gracious God!—excessive happiness prevented my continuing my last letter; now despair overwhelms me, and leaves me only strength sufficient to tell my sorrows, and deprives me of the power of expressing them.—Valmont—Valmont no longer loves me! He never loved me! Love does not depart thus. He deceived me, he betrayed me, he insults me! I suffer every kind of misfortune and humiliation; and all proceed from him.
I’m trying to write to you, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to. Oh my God! My overwhelming happiness stopped me from finishing my last letter; now despair is crushing me, leaving me just enough strength to share my sorrows but taking away my ability to express them. Valmont—Valmont doesn’t love me anymore! He never loved me! Love doesn’t fade like this. He deceived me, he betrayed me, he mocks me! I endure every kind of pain and humiliation, and it all comes from him.
Do not think it a mere suspicion. I was far from having any. I have not even the consolation of a doubt: I saw it. What can he say in his justification?—But what matters it to him? He will not attempt it even.—Unhappy wretch! What avail thy reproaches and thy tears? He is not concerned about thee.
Do not think it's just a suspicion. I had none. I don’t even have the comfort of a doubt: I saw it. What can he say to defend himself?—But does it even matter to him? He won't even try.—Poor soul! What good are your complaints and your tears? He doesn't care about you.
It is, then, too true, he has made me a sacrifice; he has even exposed me—and to whom?—To a vile creature.—But what do I say? Ah! I have no right to despise her. She has not broke through any ties; she is not so culpable as I am. Oh! what grief can equal that which is followed by remorse! I feel my torments increase. Adieu, my dear friend! though I am unworthy your compassion, still you will have some left for me, if you can form an idea of my sufferings.
It’s true, he has sacrificed me; he’s even exposed me—and to whom?—to a disgusting person. But what am I saying? I can’t look down on her. She hasn’t broken any ties; she’s not as guilty as I am. Oh! what grief can match the pain of remorse! I feel my torment growing. Goodbye, my dear friend! Even though I don’t deserve your compassion, I hope you can still have some for me if you can imagine my suffering.
I have just read over my letter, and perceive it gives you no information. I will endeavour to muster up resolution to relate this cruel event. It was yesterday, I was to sup abroad for the first time since my return. Valmont came to me at five; he never appeared so endearing: he did not seem pleased with my intention of going abroad; I immediately resolved to stay at home. In two hours after, his air and tone changed visibly on a sudden. I don’t know any thing escaped me to displease him; however, he pretended to recollect business that obliged him to leave me, and went away; not without expressing a tender concern, which I then thought very sincere.
I just read through my letter and realized it doesn’t give you any information. I’ll try to gather the courage to share this painful event. It happened yesterday; I was supposed to have dinner out for the first time since I got back. Valmont came to see me at five; he never seemed so charming. He didn’t seem happy about my plan to go out, so I quickly decided to stay home. A couple of hours later, his mood and tone suddenly changed. I don’t know if I said anything to upset him, but he pretended to remember some work that he needed to take care of and left. He did express a caring concern, which at that moment I thought was very genuine.
Being left alone, I resolved to fulfil my first engagement, as I was at liberty. I finished my toilet, and got in my carriage. Unfortunately my coachman drove by the opera, and my carriage was stopped in the crowd coming up. I perceived at a little distance before mine, and the range next to me, Valmont’s carriage: my heart instantly palpitated, but not with fear; and my only wish was, that my carriage should get forward: instead of which, his was obliged to back close to mine. I immediately looked out; but what was my astonishment to see beside him a well-known courtezan! I drew back, as you may believe; I had seen enough to wound my heart: but what you will scarcely credit is, this same girl, being probably in his confidence, did not turn her eyes from me, and with repeated peals of laughter stared me out of countenance.
Being left alone, I decided to go through with my first plan since I was free. I finished getting ready and got into my carriage. Unfortunately, my driver took us past the opera, and we got stuck in a crowd. I noticed Valmont’s carriage a little ahead and right beside mine. My heart instantly raced, but not out of fear; all I wanted was for my carriage to move forward. Instead, his had to back up right next to mine. I immediately looked out, and to my shock, I saw a familiar courtesan next to him! I pulled back, as you can imagine; I had seen enough to hurt my feelings. But what’s hard to believe is that this same girl, probably knowing Valmont well, kept her eyes on me and, with loud laughter, stared me down.
Notwithstanding my abject state, I suffered myself to be carried to the house where I was to sup. I found it impossible to stay there long; every instant I was ready to faint, and could not refrain from tears.
Notwithstanding my terrible condition, I allowed myself to be taken to the house where I was supposed to have dinner. I found it impossible to stay there for long; every moment I felt like I was going to faint, and I couldn't hold back my tears.
At my return I wrote to M. de Valmont, and sent my letter immediately; he was not at home. Being determined at all events to be relieved from this miserable state, or have it confirmed for ever, I sent the servant back, with orders to wait: before twelve he came home, telling me the coachman was returned, and had informed him, his master would not be home for the night. This morning I thought it would be better to request he would give up my letters, and beg of him never to see me more. I have given orders accordingly, but certainly they were useless. It is now near twelve; he has not yet appeared, nor have I received a line from him.
At my return, I wrote to M. de Valmont and sent my letter right away; he wasn't home. Determined to either escape this miserable situation or make it permanent, I sent the servant back with instructions to wait. Before noon, he came back, saying the coachman had returned and informed him that his master wouldn’t be home for the night. This morning, I thought it would be better to ask him to return my letters and to request that he never see me again. I’ve given the orders, but they were definitely pointless. It’s now almost noon, and he still hasn’t shown up, nor have I received any word from him.
Now, my dear friend, I have nothing farther to add. You are informed of every thing, and you know my heart. My only hope is, I shall not long trouble your tender friendship.
Now, my dear friend, I have nothing more to say. You're aware of everything, and you understand my feelings. My only hope is that I won’t burden your kind friendship for much longer.
Paris, Nov. 15, 17—.
Paris, Nov. 15, 1717—.
LETTER CXXXVI.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The President De Tourvel to the VALMONT, THE VISCOUNT.
Certainly, Sir, after what passed yesterday, you do not expect I should see you again, and you as certainly do not desire it. The intention of this note, then, is not so much to require you never to come near me more, as to call on you for my letters, which ought not to have existed. If they could at any time have been interesting, as proofs of the infatuation you had occasioned, they must be, now that is dissipated, indifferent to you, as they were only proofs of a sentiment you have destroyed.
Certainly, Sir, after what happened yesterday, you can’t expect me to see you again, and I’m pretty sure you don’t want that either. The purpose of this note isn’t really to tell you to stay away from me forever, but to ask for my letters back, which shouldn’t have existed in the first place. If they were ever interesting as evidence of the infatuation you caused, now that it’s gone, they must be meaningless to you, since they only reflected a feeling you have now destroyed.
I own, I was very wrong in placing a confidence in you, of which so many before me have been victims; I accuse no one but myself: but I never thought I deserved to be exposed by you to contempt and insult. I imagined, that making a sacrifice of every thing, and giving up for you my pretensions to the esteem of others, as also my own, I might have expected not to be treated by you with more severity than by the public, whose opinion always makes an immense difference between the weak and the depraved. Those are the only wrongs I shall mention. I shall be silent on those of love, as your heart would not understand mine. Farewell, Sir!
I realize now that I was very wrong to trust you, just like so many others before me; I blame no one but myself. But I never thought I deserved to be subjected to your contempt and insults. I believed that by sacrificing everything and giving up my hopes for your respect, as well as my own, I could expect not to be treated by you more harshly than by society, which often sees a huge difference between the weak and the corrupt. Those are the only grievances I will bring up. I will keep quiet about the matters of love, as your heart wouldn’t understand mine. Goodbye, Sir!
Paris, Nov. 15, 17—.
Paris, Nov. 15, 1717—.
LETTER CXXXVII.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the Presidente DE TOURVEL.
Viscount de Valmont to the President of Tourvel.
This instant only have I received your letter, Madam. I could not read it without shuddering, and have scarcely strength to answer it. What a horrible opinion have you, then, conceived of me! Doubtless, I have my faults, and such as I shall never forgive myself, if even you should hide them with your indulgence. But how distant from my thoughts are those you reproach me! Who, me insult you! Me make you contemptible, at a time when I reverence as much as cherish you! when you raised my vanity by thinking me worthy of you! Appearances have deceived you. I will not deny they make against me: but had you not sufficient within your own heart to contend against them? Did it not revolt at the idea of having a cause of complaint against me? Yet you believed it! Thus you not only thought me capable of this atrocious frenzy, but even dreaded you had exposed yourself to it by your indulgence. Ah! if you think yourself so much degraded by your love, I must be very despicable in your sight. Oppressed by the painful sense of this idea, I lose the time I should employ in destroying it, endeavouring to repel it. I will confess all: another consideration still prevents me. Must I go back to facts I would wish to forget for ever, and recall your attention and my own to errors I shall ever repent; the cause of which I cannot yet conceive, which fill me with mortification and despair. If I excite your anger by accusing myself, the means of revenge will not be out of your reach; it will be sufficient to abandon me to my own remorse.
I just received your letter, Madam. I could hardly read it without feeling shaken, and I barely have the strength to respond. What a terrible opinion you must have of me! Surely, I have my faults, and I will never forgive myself for them, even if you choose to overlook them with kindness. But how far from my mind are the things you accuse me of! How could I insult you? How could I make you feel contemptible when I hold you in such high regard and care for you deeply? You lifted my spirits by believing I was worthy of you! Appearances have misled you. I won’t deny that they don’t work in my favor: but didn’t you have enough within your own heart to challenge them? Didn’t it make you uneasy at the thought of having any reason to complain about me? Yet you believed it! So you not only thought I was capable of this horrible act, but you even feared that your kindness had made you vulnerable to it. Ah! if you feel so degraded by your love, then I must seem very worthless to you. Burdened by this painful thought, I waste time that I should be using to dispel it, trying to push it away. I’ll confess everything: another thing is stopping me. Do I need to revisit memories I wish I could forget forever and remind both you and myself of mistakes I will always regret; mistakes that I still can’t understand, that fill me with humiliation and despair? If I anger you by blaming myself, you’ll have plenty of ways to get back at me; all you need to do is leave me to my own guilt.
Yet the first cause of this unhappy event is, the all-powerful charm I feel in being with you: it was it made me too long forget an important business that could not be put off. I stayed with you so long, I did not find the person at home I wanted to see; I expected to have met her at the opera, where I was also disappointed. Emily, who I met there, and knew at a time when I was a stranger to you and love, Emily had not her carriage, and requested I would set her down at a little distance from thence; I consented, as a matter of no consequence. It was then I met you. I was instantly seized with the apprehension you would think me guilty.
Yet the main reason for this unfortunate situation is the irresistible attraction I feel when I'm with you. It made me forget an important matter that I couldn't delay any longer. I spent too much time with you, and as a result, I missed the person I wanted to see at home; I was also let down at the opera where I thought I would meet her. I ran into Emily there, someone I knew when I was a stranger to you and to love. Emily didn’t have her carriage and asked me to drop her off a little way from there; I agreed, thinking it was no big deal. It was then that I ran into you, and I immediately worried that you might think I was at fault.
The dread of afflicting or displeasing you is so powerful, it is impossible for me to conceal it, and was soon perceived. I will even own, it induced me to prevail on this girl not to show herself; this precaution, the result of delicacy, was unfavourable to love: but she, like the rest of her tribe, accustomed to the abuse of her usurped power, would not let slip so splendid an opportunity. The more she observed my embarrassment increase, the more she affected to show herself; and her ridiculous mirth, which I blush to think you could for a moment imagine yourself to be the object, had no other foundation than the cruel anxiety I felt, which proceeded from my love and respect.
The fear of upsetting or disappointing you is so intense that I can’t hide it, and it was quickly noticed. I’ll admit that it led me to convince this girl not to reveal herself; this careful choice, stemming from sensitivity, didn’t help my feelings of love. But she, like others in her circle, used to the abuse of her power, wouldn’t miss such a great opportunity. The more she saw my discomfort grow, the more she pretended to show herself; her silly laughter, which makes me ashamed to think you could ever think you were the reason, was based only on the painful anxiety I felt, which came from my love and respect for you.
So far, doubtless, I am more unfortunate than guilty. Those crimes being thus done away, I am clear of reproach. In vain, however, are you silent on those of love, which I must break through, as it concerns me so much.
So far, I’m definitely more unfortunate than guilty. With those crimes out of the way, I have no blame. However, it's useless for you to stay quiet about the matters of love, which I have to confront, since they affect me so deeply.
Not but, in my confusion for this unaccountable misconduct, which I cannot without great grief recall to my remembrance; yet I am so sensible of my error, I would patiently bear the punishment, wait my pardon from time, from my excessive love, and my repentance; only what I yet have to say concerns your delicacy.
Not that, in my confusion over this unexplainable behavior, which I can hardly bear to remember; still, I'm very aware of my mistake and would quietly accept the consequences, hoping for forgiveness in time, through my deep love and regret; but what I still need to say is about your sensitivity.
Do not think I seek a pretence to excuse or palliate my fault; I confess my guilt: but I do not acknowledge, nor ever will, this humiliating error can be a crime of love. For where is the analogy between a surprise of the sensations, a moment of inadvertency, which is soon replaced by shame and regret, and an immaculate sentiment, which delicate souls are only capable of, supported by esteem, and of which happiness is the fruit? Ah! do not thus profane love; or, rather, do not profane yourself, by uniting in the same point of view what never can be blended. Leave to despicable and degraded women the dread of a rivalship, and experience the torments of a cruel and humiliating jealousy; but turn your eyes from objects that would sully them: and pure as the Divinity, punish the offence without feeling it.
Don’t think that I’m trying to make excuses for my mistake; I admit my guilt. But I refuse to accept, now or ever, that this humiliating error can be considered a crime of love. Where is the comparison between a fleeting moment of desire, a lapse in judgment that quickly turns into shame and regret, and a pure feeling that only sensitive souls can experience, one that is built on respect and results in true happiness? Ah! Don’t tarnish love like that; instead, don’t diminish yourself by trying to connect what can never be merged. Leave the fear of rivalry and the pain of cruel, humiliating jealousy to worthless and degraded women. Keep your focus away from things that would dirty your gaze: stay as pure as the Divine and punish the offense without allowing it to affect you.
What punishment can you inflict on me will be more sorrowful than what I already feel—that can be comparable to the grief of having incurred your displeasure—to the despair of giving you affliction—to the unsufferable idea of being unworthy of you? Your mind is taken up with punishing, whilst I languish for consolation; not that I deserve it, but only that I am in want of it, and that it is you alone can console me.
What punishment can you give me that would be more painful than what I already feel? Nothing could compare to the sorrow of making you unhappy, to the pain of causing you distress, or to the unbearable thought of being unworthy of you. You focus on punishing me, while I long for comfort; not because I deserve it, but simply because I need it, and only you can provide that comfort.
If on a sudden, forgetful of our mutual love as of my happiness, you will abandon me to perpetual sorrow, I shall not dispute your right—strike: but should you incline to indulgence, and again recall those tender sentiments that united our hearts; that voluptuousness of soul, ever renewing, ever increasing; those delightful days we passed together; all the felicities that love only can give; you will, perhaps, prefer the power of renewing to that of destroying them. What shall I say? I have lost all, and lost it by my own folly: but still all may be retrieved by your goodness. You are now to decide. I shall add but one word more. Yesterday you swore my happiness was certain whilst it depended on you. Ah! will you this day, then, Madam, give me up to everlasting despair?
If all of a sudden, forgetting our mutual love and my happiness, you decide to leave me in constant sorrow, I won’t argue with your choice—go ahead: but if you choose to be kind and remember those loving feelings that connected our hearts; that ever-refreshing, ever-growing joy; the wonderful days we spent together; all the happiness that only love can bring; you might, perhaps, prefer the ability to revive those feelings rather than destroy them. What can I say? I’ve lost everything, and I did it through my own mistake: but everything can still be saved through your kindness. The decision is now yours. I’ll say just one more thing. Yesterday, you promised that my happiness depended on you. Ah! Will you today, then, Madam, deliver me to endless despair?
Paris, Nov. 15, 17—.
Paris, Nov. 15, 1717—.
LETTER CXXXVIII.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Viscount de Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
I insist on it, my charming friend, I am not in love; and it is not my fault, if circumstances oblige me to play the character of a lover.—Only consent to return, and you will be able to judge my sincerity—I made my proofs yesterday, and cannot be injured by what happens to-day.
I insist, my lovely friend, I'm not in love; and it's not my fault if circumstances force me to act like a lover. Just agree to come back, and you’ll be able to see how sincere I am. I proved my feelings yesterday, and I can’t be affected by what happens today.
I was with the tender prude, having nothing else to do; for the little Volanges, nothwithstanding her situation, was to spend the night at Madame de V——’s early ball: the want of business first gave me an inclination to prolong the evening; and I had, with this intention, even required a little sacrifice: it was scarcely granted, than the pleasure I promised myself was disturbed with the idea of this love which you so obstinately will have it, or at least reproach me with being infected; so I determined at once to be certain myself, and convince you, that it was a calumny of your own.
I was with the shy person, having nothing better to do; because the little Volanges, despite her situation, was going to spend the night at Madame de V——’s early ball. The lack of plans made me want to extend the evening; and with that in mind, I even asked for a small sacrifice. As soon as it was granted, the pleasure I had anticipated was interrupted by the thought of this love that you stubbornly insist I have, or at least blame me for being affected by it; so I decided right then to find out for myself, and prove to you that it was a falsehood of your own making.
In consequence I took a violent resolution; on a very slight pretence, I took leave, and left my fair one quite surprised, and doubtless more afflicted, while I quietly went to meet Emily at the opera: she can satisfy you, that until morning, when we parted, no regret disturbed our amusements.
In response, I made a bold decision; with just a flimsy reason, I said goodbye and left my girl surprised, and surely more upset, while I calmly went to meet Emily at the opera. She can tell you that until the morning, when we separated, we enjoyed ourselves without any regrets.
Yet there was a pretty large field for uneasiness, if my total indifference had not preserved me: for you must know, I was scarce four houses from the opera, with Emily in my carriage, when that of the austere devotee ranged close beside mine, and a stop which happened, left us near half a quarter of an hour close by each other; we could see one another as plain as at noon day, and there was no means to escape.
Yet there was a pretty big reason to feel uneasy, if my complete indifference hadn't kept me safe: you should know, I was barely four houses away from the opera, with Emily in my carriage, when the carriage of the stern devotee pulled up right next to mine. A stop that occurred left us sitting there for almost fifteen minutes right next to each other; we could see each other as clearly as if it were noon, and there was no way to escape.
That is not all; I took it in my head to tell Emily confidentially, that was the letter-woman. You may recollect, perhaps, that piece of folly, and that Emily was the desk[1]. She did not forget it, and as she laughs immoderately, she was not easy until she had attentively viewed this piece of virtue, as she called her; and with scandalous bursts, such as would even disconcert effrontery.
That’s not all; I decided to confide in Emily, who was the letter-woman. You might remember that silly incident, and that Emily was the desk[1]. She didn’t forget it, and as she laughed uncontrollably, she wasn’t satisfied until she had closely examined this person of virtue, as she referred to her; and with shocking outbursts that would even embarrass someone bold.
Still this is not all; the jealous woman sent to my house that same night; I was not at home, but she obstinately sent a second time, with orders to wait my return. I sent my carriage home, as soon as I resolved to spend the night with Emily, without any other orders to my coachman, than to return this morning. When he got home he found the messenger, whom he informed I was not to return that night. You may guess the effect of this news, and that at my return, I found my discharge announced with all the dignity the circumstance required.
Still, that’s not the end of it; the jealous woman sent someone to my house that same night. I wasn't home, but she stubbornly sent a second time, instructing them to wait for my return. I had my carriage head back as soon as I decided to spend the night with Emily, with no other instructions for my driver than to come back this morning. When he got home, he found the messenger there, and he informed them that I wouldn’t be back that night. You can imagine the impact of this news, and upon my return, I discovered my dismissal had been announced with all the seriousness the situation deserved.
Thus, this adventure, which according to your opinion, was never to be determined, could, as you see, have been ended this morning? if it should not, I would not have you think I prize a continuance of it; but I do not think it consistent with my character to be quitted: moreover, I intend to reserve the honour of this sacrifice for you.
Thus, this adventure, which in your opinion was never meant to be resolved, could, as you can see, have come to an end this morning? If it doesn’t, I don’t want you to think I value its continuation; however, I don’t believe it fits with my character to walk away from it. Besides, I plan to keep the honor of this sacrifice for you.
I have answered her severe note with a long sentimental epistle; I have given long reasons, and rely on love to make them acceptable. I have already succeeded—I have received a second note, still very rigorous, and which confirms an everlasting rupture, as it ought to be—but the ton is not the same; I must not be seen again; this resolution is announced four times in the most irrevocable manner. From thence I concluded, there was not a moment to be lost in presenting myself: I have already sent my huntsman to secure the porter, and shall follow instantly, to have my pardon sealed: for in crimes of this nature, there is only one form for a general absolution, and that must be executed in each others presence.
I replied to her harsh letter with a long, emotional response; I provided extensive explanations and hope that love will make them acceptable. I've already succeeded—I received a second note, still very stern, confirming an unavoidable breakup, just as it should be—but the tone is different. I must not be seen again; this decision is stated four times in the most definite way. From this, I concluded that there was no time to waste in showing up: I’ve already sent my huntsman to secure the doorman, and I will follow right away to get my forgiveness sealed; because in matters like this, there’s only one way to get a complete pardon, and it has to be done in each other's presence.
Adieu, my charming friend! I fly to achieve this grand event.
Goodbye, my lovely friend! I'm off to make this big thing happen.
Paris, Nov. 15, 17—.
Paris, Nov. 15, 1717—.
[1] Letters xlvi and xlvii.
LETTER CXXXIX.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
The President DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
How I reproach myself, my dear friend, for having wrote too soon, and said too much of my transitory troubles! I am the cause you at present are afflicted; the chagrin I have given you still continues, and I am happy; yes, every thing is forgot, and I forgive; or rather all is cleared up. Calm and delight succeed this state of grief and anguish; how shall I express the ecstasy of my heart! Valmont is innocent: with so much love there can be no guilt—those heavy offensive crimes with which I loaded him so bitterly, he did not deserve; and although I was right in one single point, yet I was to make reparation for my unjust suspicions.
How I blame myself, my dear friend, for speaking too soon and sharing too much about my temporary troubles! I'm the reason you're hurting now; the pain I caused you still lingers, and yet I feel happy; yes, everything is forgotten, and I forgive; or rather, everything is sorted out. Calm and joy replace this state of grief and anguish; how can I express the joy in my heart! Valmont is innocent: with so much love, there can be no blame—those terrible accusations I unfairly threw at him were undeserved; and even though I was right in one small aspect, I still need to make up for my unjust doubts.
I will not relate minutely the circumstances of facts or reasonings in his justification—Perhaps even the mind would but badly appreciate them—it is the heart only can feel them. However, were you even to suspect me of weakness, I would call on your judgment in support of my own; you say among men infidelity is not inconstancy.
I won’t go into detail about the circumstances or arguments that support him—maybe even the mind wouldn’t fully understand them; it’s the heart that can truly feel them. Nevertheless, even if you thought I was being weak, I would ask for your judgment to back up mine; you say that among people, infidelity isn’t the same as inconstancy.
Not but I am sensible, this opinion, which custom authorises, hurts delicacy: but why should mine complain, when Valmont’s suffers more? This same injury which I forget, I do not think he forgives himself; and yet he has immensely repaired this trivial error, by the excess of his love, and my happiness!
Not that I'm not aware that this opinion, which tradition supports, damages sensitivity: but why should I complain when Valmont’s is hurt more? This same wrong that I overlook, I don’t think he can forgive himself for; and yet he has more than made up for this minor mistake with the depth of his love and my happiness!
My felicity is greater, or I know the value of it better, since my dread of losing him; I can aver to you, if I had strength sufficient to undergo again such cruel chagrins as I have just experienced, I should not think I had purchased my increase of happiness at too high a rate. Oh, my dear mother! scold your unthinking daughter for afflicting you by her precipitation; scold her for having rashly judged him she should ever adore; and knowing her imprudence, see her happy: augment her bliss by partaking it.
My happiness is stronger, or I understand its value better, since I’m afraid of losing him. I can assure you, if I had enough strength to go through those painful disappointments again that I just experienced, I wouldn’t think I had paid too high a price for my increased happiness. Oh, my dear mother! Please scold your impulsive daughter for upsetting you with her haste; scold her for having judged too quickly the one she should always adore; and knowing her foolishness, see her happy: increase her joy by sharing it.
Paris, Nov. 15, 17—.
Paris, Nov. 15, 1717—.
LETTER CXL.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
How comes it, my charming friend, I receive no answers from you? I think, however, my last letter deserved one; these three days have I been expecting it, and must still wait! I really am vexed, and shall not relate a syllable of my grand affairs.
How is it, my lovely friend, that I haven’t received any replies from you? I believe my last letter deserved a response; I’ve been waiting for three days now and I still have to! I’m honestly irritated, and I won’t share a word about my important matters.
Such as the reconciliation had its full effect: that instead of reproaches and dissidence, it produced fresh proofs of affection; that I now actually receive the excuse and satisfaction due to my suspected candour; not a word shall you know—had it not been for the unforeseen event of last night, I should not have wrote to you at all; but as it relates to your pupil, who probably cannot give you any information herself, at least for some time, I have taken upon me to acquaint you with it.
Such a reconciliation had a strong impact: instead of blame and disagreement, it brought about new signs of affection; now I actually receive the explanation and reassurance that I deserve for my presumed honesty; you wouldn’t know a thing—if it hadn’t been for the unexpected event last night, I wouldn’t have written to you at all; but since it concerns your student, who probably can't provide you with any information herself, at least for a while, I’ve taken it upon myself to fill you in.
For reasons you may or may not guess, Madame de Tourvel, has not engaged my attention for some days: as those reasons could not exist with the little Volanges, I became more assiduous there. Thanks to the obliging porter, I had no obstacles to surmount; and your pupil and I led a comfortable, regular life—Custom brings on negligence; at first we had not taken proper precautions for our security; we trembled behind the locks: yesterday an incredible absence of mind occasioned the accident I am going to relate; as to myself, fear was my only punishment, but the little girl did not come off so well.
For reasons you might guess or might not, Madame de Tourvel hasn't caught my attention for a few days. Since those reasons don’t apply to the young Volanges, I became more dedicated to her. Thanks to the helpful porter, I faced no obstacles; the pupil and I lived a comfortable, regular life. Routine led to carelessness; at first, we hadn't taken the right steps to ensure our safety; we were anxious behind the locked doors. Yesterday, a shocking lapse in judgment caused the incident I'm about to describe; for me, fear was the only consequence, but the young girl didn’t fare as well.
We were not asleep, but reposing in the abandonment consequent to voluptuousness, when on a sudden, we heard the room door open, I instantly seized my sword to defend myself and our pupil; I advanced, and saw no one; but the door was open: as we had a light, I examined all about the room, and did not find a mortal; then I recollected we had forgot our usual precautions, and certainly the door being only pushed or not properly shut, opened of itself.
We weren't asleep, but relaxing in the bliss of indulgence, when suddenly, we heard the room door open. I quickly grabbed my sword to protect myself and our student; I moved forward and saw no one, but the door was ajar. Since we had a light, I checked around the room and found no one there. Then I remembered we had neglected our usual precautions, and it was likely that the door, being just pushed or not completely closed, had opened on its own.
Returning to my terrified companion to quiet her, I did not find her in the bed; she fell out, or hid herself by the bedside; at length I found her there, stretched senseless on the ground, in strong convulsions—You may judge my embarrassment—However, I brought her to herself, and got her into bed again, but she had hurt herself in the fall, and was not long before she felt its effect.
Returning to my terrified friend to calm her down, I didn’t find her in bed; she had fallen out or was hiding by the bedside. Eventually, I found her there, lying unconscious on the floor, in strong convulsions. You can imagine how embarrassed I was. However, I brought her back to her senses and got her back into bed, but she had injured herself in the fall, and it wasn’t long before she felt the impact.
Pains in the loins, violent cholics, and other symptoms less equivocal, soon informed me her condition—To make her sensible of it, it was necessary to acquaint her with the one she was in before, of which she had not the least suspicion: never any one before her, perhaps, went to work so innocently to get rid of it—she does not lose her time in reflection.
Pains in her lower back, severe stomach cramps, and other clearer symptoms quickly made me aware of her condition. To help her realize it, I needed to tell her about the situation she was in earlier, of which she had no idea. No one before her, maybe, approached this situation so innocently to try to escape it—she doesn’t waste time in reflection.
But she lost a great deal in afflicting herself, and I found it necessary to come to some resolution: therefore we agreed I should immediately go to the physician and surgeon of the family, to inform them they would be sent for; I was to make them a confidence of the whole business, under a promise of secrecy—That she should ring for her waiting maid, and should or should not make her a confidence of her situation, as she thought proper; but at all events, send for assistance, and should forbid her from disturbing Madame de Volanges. An attentive delicacy natural to a girl who feared to give her mother uneasiness.
But she ended up suffering a lot, and I realized I needed to make a decision: so we agreed that I should immediately go to the family doctor and surgeon to let them know they would be contacted; I was to share all the details of the situation with them, with a promise of confidentiality—That she should call for her maid and decide whether or not to confide in her about what was happening, as she felt was appropriate; but in any case, she should ask for help and tell her not to disturb Madame de Volanges. It showed a considerate sensitivity typical of a girl who was worried about causing her mother distress.
I made my two visits and confessions as expeditiously as I could, and then went home, from whence I have not since stirred. The surgeon, who I knew before, came to me at noon, to give me an account of the state of his patient—I was not mistaken—He hopes, however, it will not be attended with any bad consequences. Provided no accident happens, it will not be discovered in the house; the waiting woman is in the secret; the physician has given the disorder a name, and this affair will be settled as a thousand others have been, unless hereafter it might be useful to us to have it mentioned.
I made my two visits and confessions as quickly as I could, and then went home, from which I haven't left since. The surgeon, who I knew before, came to me at noon to update me on the condition of his patient—I was right. However, he hopes it won't lead to any bad consequences. As long as nothing unexpected happens, it won't be discovered in the house; the waiting woman is in the loop; the physician has given the illness a name, and this matter will be handled like so many others have been, unless it becomes useful for us to bring it up in the future.
Have you and I mutual interests or no? Your silence makes me dubious of it; I would not even think at all of it, if my inclinations did not lead me on to every method of preserving the hope of it. Adieu, my charming friend! yet in anger.
Have you and I have anything in common or not? Your silence makes me doubt it; I wouldn't even think about it if my feelings didn't keep pushing me to hold onto the hope of it. Goodbye, my lovely friend! But I'm still a bit upset.
Paris, Nov. 21, 17—.
Paris, Nov. 21, 1717—.
LETTER CXLI.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The Marquess de Merteuil to the Viscount Valmont.
Good God, Viscount! How troublesome you are with your obstinacy! What matters my silence to you? Do you believe it is for want of reasons I am silent? Ah! would to God! But no, it is only because it would be painful to tell them to you.
Good God, Viscount! You're so frustrating with your stubbornness! What does my silence mean to you? Do you think I’m silent because I have no reasons? I wish it were that simple! But no, it's just that it would hurt to share them with you.
Speak truth, do you deceive yourself, or do you mean to deceive me? The difference between your discourse and actions, leaves in doubt which I am to give credit to. What shall I say to you then, when I even do not know what to think?
Speak the truth. Are you tricking yourself, or are you trying to trick me? The gap between what you say and what you do makes it hard to know which one I'm supposed to believe. So what should I say to you when I can't even figure out what to think?
You seem to make a great merit of your last scene with the Presidente; but what does that prove in support of your system, or against mine? I never certainly told you, your love for this woman was so violent as not be capable of deceiving her, or prevent you from enjoying every opportunity that appeared agreeable and easy to you. I never even doubted but it would be equally the same to you, to satisfy, with any other, the first that offered, the desires she would raise. I am not at all surprised, that from a libertinism of mind, which it would be wrong to contend with you, you have once done designedly, what you have a thousand times done occasionally—Don’t we well know this is the way of the world, and the practice of you all? and whoever acts otherwise is looked on as a simpleton—I think I don’t charge you with this defect.
You seem to take a lot of pride in your last interaction with the Presidente; but what does that really prove in support of your beliefs, or against mine? I never specifically said that your love for this woman was so intense that you couldn't deceive her, or that it would stop you from enjoying any opportunity that seemed appealing and convenient to you. I never doubted that you would feel the same about satisfying your desires with anyone else who came along. I’m not surprised that, due to a free-spirited mindset, which I wouldn't argue with you about, you've intentionally done something you’ve often done without thinking—Don’t we all know this is how the world works, and this is the common practice among people like you? Anyone who behaves differently is seen as foolish—I don't think I'm accusing you of this flaw.
What I have said, what I have thought, what I still think, is, you are nevertheless in love with your Presidente: not if you will with a pure and tender passion, but of that kind of which you are capable; for example, of that kind which makes you discover in a woman, charms and qualities she has not: which ranks her in a class by herself, and still links you to her even while you insult her—Such, in a word, as a Sultan has for a favourite Sultana; that does not prevent him from often giving the preference to a plain Odalisk. My comparison appears to me the more just, as, like him, you never are the lover or friend of a woman, but always her tyrant or her slave. And I am very certain, you very much humbled and debased yourself very much, to get into favour again with this fine object! Happy in your success, as soon as you think the moment arrived to obtain your pardon, you leave me for this grand event.
What I’ve said, what I’ve thought, and what I still think is that you’re still in love with your Presidente: not necessarily with a pure and tender passion, but with a type of love that you’re capable of; for instance, the kind that makes you see charms and qualities in a woman that she doesn’t actually have: that elevates her to a unique status while still keeping you connected to her even when you insult her—like the way a Sultan feels about a favorite Sultana; this doesn’t stop him from often choosing a plain Odalisk over her. I think my comparison is quite fitting, as, like him, you’re never truly a lover or friend to a woman, but always her tyrant or her slave. And I’m pretty sure you humbled and debased yourself quite a bit to win back the favor of this beautiful object! Delighted by your success, as soon as you think the time has come to seek your forgiveness, you leave me for this grand event.
Even in your last letter, the reason you give for not entertaining me solely with this woman is, because you will not tell me any thing of your grand affairs; they are of so much importance, that your silence on that subject is to be my punishment: and after giving me such strong proofs of a decided preference for another, you coolly ask me whether we have a mutual interest! Have a care, Viscount; if I once answer you, my answer shall be irrevocable: and to be in suspense, is perhaps saying too much; I will therefore now say no more of that matter.
Even in your last letter, the reason you give for not just focusing on me is that you won't share anything about your grand affairs; they're so important that your silence on the topic is meant to punish me. And after showing me such clear signs of your preference for someone else, you casually ask if we have a mutual interest! Be careful, Viscount; if I respond, my answer will be final: and to be left in uncertainty may be too much to say; so I won't say anything more about it now.
I have nothing more to say, but to tell you a trifling story; perhaps you will not have leisure to read it, or to give so much attention to it as to understand it properly? At worst, it will be only a tale thrown away.
I have nothing more to say except to share a little story; maybe you won't have the time to read it or the focus to understand it completely? At worst, it will just be an insignificant tale.
A man of my acquaintance, like you, was entangled with a woman, who did him very little credit; he had sense enough, at times, to perceive, this adventure would hurt him one time or other—Although he was ashamed of it, yet he had not the resolution to break off—His embarrassment was greater, as he had frequently boasted to his friends, he was entirely at liberty; and was not insensible, the more he apologised, the more the ridicule increased—Thus, he spent his time incessantly in foolery, and constantly saying, it is not my fault. This man had a friend, who was one time very near giving him up in his frenzy to indelible ridicule: but yet, being more generous than malicious, or perhaps from some other motive, she resolved, as a last effort, to try a method to be able, at least, with her friend, to say, it is not my fault. She therefore sent him, without farther ceremony, the following letter, as a remedy for his disorder.
A guy I know, just like you, got involved with a woman who wasn’t good for him at all; he sometimes had enough sense to realize that this situation would end up hurting him eventually—Even though he was embarrassed about it, he didn’t have the guts to end things—His embarrassment grew because he often bragged to his friends that he was completely free; and he wasn't blind to the fact that the more he made excuses, the more he was mocked—So, he wasted his time in stupidity, constantly saying, it's not my fault. This guy had a friend who once seriously considered giving up on him due to the endless ridicule he faced: but being more kind than spiteful, or maybe for other reasons, she decided to make one last effort to help him at least be able to say with her, it's not my fault. So, she sent him the following letter without any further fuss, hoping it would help his situation.
“One tires of every thing, my angel! It is a law of nature; it is not my fault.
“One gets tired of everything, my angel! It’s a law of nature; it’s not my fault.
“If, then, I am tired of a connection that has entirely taken me up four long months, it is not my fault.
“If I’m tired of a connection that has completely absorbed me for four long months, it’s not my fault."
“If, for example, I had just as much love as you had virtue, and that’s saying a great deal, it is not at all surprising that one should end with the other; it is not my fault.
“If, for example, I had as much love as you had virtue—which is saying a lot—it’s not surprising that one would lead to the other; that’s not my fault."
“It follows, then, that for some time past, I have deceived you; but your unmerciful affection in some measure forced me to it! It is not my fault.
“It follows, then, that for some time now, I have misled you; but your relentless affection somewhat pushed me to do it! It's not my fault.
“Now a woman I love to distraction, insists I must sacrifice you: it is not my fault.
“Now, a woman I love to distraction insists I must sacrifice you: it’s not my fault.
“I am sensible here is a fine field for reproaches; but if nature has only granted men constancy, whilst it gives obstinacy to women, it is not my fault.
“I understand that this is a great opportunity for criticism; but if nature has only given men consistency while bestowing stubbornness on women, that’s not my fault.
“Take my advice, choose another lover, as I have another mistress—The advice is good; if you think otherwise, it is not my fault.
“Take my advice, pick a different lover, since I have another mistress—The advice is solid; if you disagree, that’s not my problem.
“Farewell, my angel! I took you with pleasure, I part you without regret; perhaps I shall return to you; it is the way of the world; it is not my fault.”
“Goodbye, my angel! I welcomed you with joy, and I leave you without regret; maybe I’ll come back to you; that’s just how things go; it’s not on me.”
This is not the time to tell you, Viscount, the effect of this last effort, and its consequences; but I promise to give it you in my next letter; you will then receive also my ultimatum on renewing the treaty you propose. Until when, adieu.
This isn't the right moment to share with you, Viscount, the impact of this last effort and its consequences; however, I promise to include it in my next letter. You will also receive my final offer regarding the renewal of the treaty you suggested. Until then, goodbye.
Now I think on it, receive my thanks for your particular account of the little Volanges; that article will keep till the day after her wedding, for the scandalous gazette. I condole with you, however, on the loss of your progeny. Good night, Viscount.
Now that I think about it, thanks for the detailed update on the little Volanges; that news will hold until the day after her wedding for the gossip column. I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your child. Good night, Viscount.
Nov. 24, 17—. Castle of ——.
Nov. 24, 17—. Castle of ——.
LETTER CXLII.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Viscount Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
I don’t know, my charming friend, whether I have read or understood badly your letter, the little tale you relate, and the epistolary model it contains—But this I must say, the last is an original, and seems very proper to take effect; therefore I only copied it, and sent it without farther ceremony to the celestial Presidente. I did not lose a moment, for the tender epistle was dispatched yesterday evening—I chose to act so; for first, I had promised to write to her; and, moreover, I thought a whole night not too much for her to collect herself, and ruminate on this grand event, were you even to reproach me a second time with the expression.
I don’t know, my charming friend, if I misunderstood your letter, the little story you shared, or the model of correspondence it includes. But I have to say, the latter is unique and seems very fitting to have an impact; so I just copied it and sent it off without any further fuss to the heavenly President. I didn’t waste any time, as the heartfelt letter was sent out last night—I decided to do it that way because, first, I had promised to write to her; and also, I thought a whole night would give her enough time to gather her thoughts and reflect on this grand event, even if you were to criticize me again for using that term.
I expected to have sent you back this morning my well-beloved’s answer; it is now near twelve, and it is not yet come—I shall wait until five; and if I receive no news by that time, I shall in person seek it, for every thing must be done according to form, and the difficulty is only in this first step.
I planned to have sent you back my beloved’s reply this morning; it’s now almost noon, and I still haven’t received it—I’ll wait until five; if I haven't heard anything by then, I’ll go find out myself, since everything has to be done properly, and the challenge is only in taking this first step.
Now you may believe I am impatient to know the end of your story of that man of your acquaintance, who was so violently suspected of not knowing how to sacrifice a woman upon occasion—Did he not amend, and did not his generous friend forgive him?
Now you might think I'm eager to find out the conclusion of your story about that guy you know, who was strongly suspected of not knowing how to treat a woman when the situation called for it—Did he not change, and did his kind friend not forgive him?
I am no less anxious to receive your ultimatum as you call it so politically; but I am curious, above all, to know if you can perceive any impression of love in this last proceeding? Ah! doubtless there is, and a good deal! But for whom? Still I make no pretensions; I expect every thing from your goodness.
I’m just as eager to get your ultimatum, as you politically put it; but what I’m really curious about is whether you see any hint of love in your latest action? Oh! There’s definitely something there, and quite a bit too! But for whom? I’m not making any claims; I’m just hoping for everything from your kindness.
Adieu, charmer! I shall not close my letter until two, in hope of adding the wished-for answer.
Adieu, charmer! I won’t finish my letter until two, hoping to include the answer I've been waiting for.
Two o’clock in the afternoon.
2 PM.
Nothing yet—the time slips away; I can’t spare a moment—but surely now you will not refuse the tenderest kisses of love.
Nothing yet—the time slips away; I can’t spare a moment—but surely now you won’t turn down the sweetest kisses of love.
Paris, Nov. 27, 17—.
Paris, Nov. 27, 1717—.
LETTER CXLIII.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
The President DE TOURVEL to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
The veil is rent, Madam, on which was painted my illusory happiness—The fatal truth is cleared, that leaves me no prospect but an assured and speedy death; and my road is traced between shame and remorse. I will follow it—I will cherish my torments if they will shorten my existence—I send you the letter I received yesterday; it needs no reflections; it contains them all—This is not a time for lamentation—nothing remains but sufferings—I want not pity, I want strength.
The veil is lifted, Madam, revealing my false happiness—The harsh truth is clear, leaving me with no hope but a certain and quick death; my path is marked by shame and regret. I will walk it—I will embrace my pain if it lets me end my life sooner—I’m sending you the letter I got yesterday; it doesn’t need any commentary; it includes everything—This isn’t a time for crying—only suffering remains—I don’t want pity; I want strength.
Receive, Madame, the only adieu I shall make, and grant my last request: leave me to my fate—forget me totally—do not reckon me among the living. There is a limit in misery, when even friendship augments our sufferings and cannot cure them—When wounds are mortal, all relief is cruel. Every sentiment but despair is foreign to my soul—nothing can now suit me, but the darkness where I am going to bury my shame—There will I weep crimes, if I yet can weep; for since yesterday I have not shed a tear—my withered heart no longer furnishes any.
Receive, Madame, the only goodbye I will say, and please grant my last request: leave me to my fate—forget me completely—do not consider me among the living. There’s a limit to misery, where even friendship makes our suffering worse and can’t heal it—When wounds are fatal, any relief is painful. Every feeling except despair is alien to my soul—nothing can comfort me now but the darkness where I’m going to bury my shame—There I will weep for my crimes, if I can still weep; for since yesterday, I haven’t shed a tear—my withered heart no longer produces any.
Adieu, Madame! Do not reply to this—I have taken a solemn oath on this letter never to receive another.
Adieu, Madame! Don’t respond to this—I’ve made a serious promise on this letter never to accept another.
Paris, Nov. 27, 17—.
Paris, Nov. 27, 1717—.
LETTER CXLIV.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Vicomte de Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Yesterday, at three in the afternoon, being impatient, my lovely friend, at not having any news, I presented myself at the house of the fair abandoned, and was told she was gone out. In this reply I could see nothing more than a refusal to admit me, which neither surprised nor vexed me; I retired, in hope this step would induce so polished a woman to give me an answer. The desire I had to receive one, made me call home about nine, but found nothing. Astonished at this silence, which I did not expect, I sent my huntsman on the enquiry for information, whether the tender fair was dead or dying. At my return, he informed me, Madame de Tourvel had actually gone out at eleven in the morning with her waiting maid; that she ordered her carriage to the convent of ——; that at seven in the evening she had sent her carriage and servants back, sending word they should not expect her home. This is certainly acting with propriety. The convent is the only asylum for a widow; and if she persists in so laudable a resolution, I shall add to all the obligations I already lay under, the celebrity this adventure will now have.
Yesterday, at three in the afternoon, feeling impatient for news, I went to visit my lovely friend, who I thought might be at home, but I was told she had gone out. This response felt like a clear refusal to let me in, which didn't surprise or upset me; I left hoping this would prompt such a refined woman to give me a reply. Eager to hear from her, I called again around nine, but there was still no word. Surprised by this silence, which I hadn't anticipated, I sent my huntsman to find out if the lovely lady was okay. When I got back, he told me that Madame de Tourvel had actually left at eleven in the morning with her maid; she had ordered her carriage to the convent of ——; and by seven in the evening, she had sent her carriage and servants back with a message that she wouldn’t be coming home. This is certainly behaving properly. The convent is the only safe place for a widow, and if she continues with this commendable decision, I will have to add to the obligations I already owe her the notoriety this affair will now bring.
I told you sometime ago, notwithstanding your uneasiness, I would again appear in the world with more brilliant eclat. Let those severe critics now show themselves, who accused me of a romantic passion; let them make a more expeditious and shining rupture: no, let them do more; bid them go offer their consolations—the road is chalked out for them; let them only dare run the career I have gone over entirely, and if any one obtains the least success, I will yield him up the first place: but they shall all experience when I am in earnest; the impression I leave is indelible. This one I affirm will be so. I should even look on all former triumphs as trifles, if I was ever to have a favoured rival.
I told you a while back, despite your worries, that I would return to the world with even more impressive flair. Let those harsh critics show themselves now, the ones who accused me of being overly romantic; let them create a quick and dazzling break. No, let them do more; they should go and offer their condolences—the path is laid out for them. They just need to dare to follow the journey I’ve taken completely, and if anyone achieves even a little success, I will gladly give them first place. But they will all realize how serious I am; the mark I leave is permanent. I promise it will be so. I would even consider all previous victories as minor if I were ever to have a favored rival.
I own the step she has taken flatters my vanity; yet I am sorry she had so much fortitude to separate from me. There will be no obstacle, then, between us, but of my own formation. If I should be inclined to renew our connection, she, perhaps, would refuse; perhaps not pant for it, not think it the summit of happiness! Is this love? And do you think, my charming friend, I should bear it? Could I not, for example, and would it not be better, endeavour to bring this woman to the point of foreseeing a possibility of a reconciliation, always wished for while there is hope? I could try this course without any consequence, without giving you umbrage. It would be only a mere trial we would make in concert. Even if I should be successful, it would be only an additional means of renewing, at your pleasure, a sacrifice which has seemed agreeable to you. Now, my charming friend, I am yet to receive my reward, and all my vows are for your return. Come, then, speedily to your lover, your pleasures, your friends, and the pursuit of adventures.
I own the step she has taken flatters my vanity; yet I am sorry she had so much courage to separate from me. There will be no obstacles between us except for those I've created myself. If I wanted to reconnect, she might refuse; maybe she wouldn't even want it or think it's the ultimate happiness! Is this love? And do you think, my lovely friend, I should deal with it? Could I not, for instance, and wouldn’t it be better, try to bring this woman to see the possibility of reconciliation, which has always been wanted while there's still hope? I could pursue this path without any consequences, without upsetting you. It would just be a simple experiment we would conduct together. Even if I were successful, it would just be another way to revive, at your convenience, a sacrifice that has seemed pleasing to you. Now, my lovely friend, I am still waiting for my reward, and all my promises are for your return. So come quickly to your lover, your pleasures, your friends, and the thrill of new adventures.
That of the little Volanges has had a surprising turn. Yesterday, as my uneasiness would not suffer me to stay long in a place, in my various excursions I called at Madame Volanges’s. I found your pupil in the saloon, in the drapery of a sick person, but in full health, fresher, and more interesting. Some of you ladies, in such a case would keep your beds for a month, Oh, rare lasses! Egad, this one has given me a strong inclination to know if the cure be complete.
That of the little Volanges has taken a surprising turn. Yesterday, since I couldn't stay in one place for long due to my anxiety, I visited Madame Volanges's house during my various outings. I found your pupil in the lounge, dressed like a sick person, but she was in great health—more vibrant and intriguing than ever. Some of you ladies would stay in bed for a month in such a situation. Oh, you rare women! This one has really made me want to know if she's fully recovered.
I had almost forgot to tell you, the little girl’s accident had like to have turned your sentimental Danceny’s brain: at first it was for grief, but now it is with joy. His Cecilia was sick. You will agree, the brain must turn with such a misfortune. Three times a day did he send to enquire about her, and never missed every day going himself; at last, he wrote a fine epistle to the mama, begging leave to go and congratulate her on the recovery of so dear an object; Madame de Volanges assented; so that I found the young man established as heretofore, only not quite so familiar. This narrative I had from himself; for I came out with him, and made him prate. You can’t conceive what an effect this visit had on him; his joy, his wishes, his transports are inexpressible. As I am fond of grand emotions, I finished him, by telling him, in a few days I hoped to place him much nearer his fair one.
I almost forgot to mention, the little girl's accident nearly drove your sentimental Danceny crazy: at first, he was grieving, but now he's filled with joy. His Cecilia was unwell. You’ll agree, it's hard not to lose your mind with such bad news. He checked in on her three times a day and never missed going himself each day; finally, he wrote a lovely letter to her mother, asking for permission to go congratulate her on the recovery of someone so dear. Madame de Volanges agreed; so I found the young man back to his old self, just a little less familiar than before. I got this story directly from him; I went out with him and made him talk. You can’t imagine the effect this visit had on him; his joy, his hopes, his excitement are beyond words. Since I love grand emotions, I finished by telling him that in a few days I hoped to get him much closer to his lovely one.
I am determined to give her up to him as soon as I have made my trial. I will devote myself entirely to you; moreover, I don’t see it would be worth while your pupil should be my scholar, if she had only a husband to deceive. The chef d’œuvre is to deceive the lover! and the first lover too! For I can’t reproach myself with even having pronounced the word love.
I am committed to letting her go to him as soon as I’ve had my chance. I will give myself completely to you; besides, I don’t see why your student should be my mentee if she only has a husband to betray. The real masterpiece is to deceive the lover! And the first lover as well! Because I can’t even blame myself for having used the word love.
Adieu, my lovely friend! Return as soon as possible to resume your empire over me, to receive my homage, and give me my reward.
Goodbye, my dear friend! Come back as soon as you can to take control of me again, to accept my admiration, and to give me my reward.
Paris, Nov. 28, 17—.
Paris, Nov. 28, 1717—.
LETTER CXLV.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the Vicar Valmont.
Now seriously, Viscount, have you left the Presidente? Did you send her the letter I wrote you for her? You are a charming fellow, indeed, and have surpassed my expectations! I must own, this triumph flatters me more than all those I ever obtained. You will think, perhaps, I estimate this woman very highly, who I depreciated very lately; not in the least: but it is not over her this advantage is gained; it is over you; there lies the jest, and it is really delightful.
Now seriously, Viscount, have you left the Presidente? Did you send her the letter I wrote for you to give her? You’re quite the charming guy, and you’ve exceeded my expectations! I have to admit, this win flatters me more than all the ones I’ve ever achieved. You might think that I hold this woman in high regard, despite having belittled her recently; not at all: but the point isn’t about her, it’s about you; that’s where the joke is, and it’s honestly delightful.
Yes, Viscount, you loved Madame de Tourvel much, and you still love her; you love her to distraction: but because I made you ashamed, by way of amusement, you nobly sacrifice her. You would have sacrificed a thousand women rather than be laughed at. To what lengths will not vanity lead us! The wise man was right when he said it was the foe to happiness.
Yes, Viscount, you loved Madame de Tourvel a lot, and you still do; you love her obsessively: but because I embarrassed you for fun, you heroically give her up. You would have given up a thousand women rather than be made a fool of. How far will vanity take us! The wise man was right when he said it's the enemy of happiness.
What would become of you now, if it had been only a trick I put upon you? But I am incapable of deceit, and you know it well; and should you even in my turn reduce me to despair and a convent, I will risk it, and surrender to my conqueror. Still, if I do capitulate, upon my word it is from mere frailty; for were I inclined, how many cavils could I not start! and, perhaps, you would deserve them!
What would happen to you now if it was just a trick I played on you? But I can't be dishonest, and you know that; and even if you drive me to despair and a convent, I'd take that risk and give in to my conqueror. Still, if I do give up, I promise it's only because I'm weak; because if I wanted to, I could come up with plenty of excuses! And maybe you'd deserve them!
I admire, for example, with how much address, or awkwardness rather, you soothingly propose I should let you renew with your Presidente. It would be very convenient, would it not? to take all the merit of this rapture without losing the pleasure of enjoyment! And then this proffered sacrifice, which would no longer be one to you, is offered to be renewed at my pleasure! By this arrangement, the celestial devotee would always think herself the only choice of your heart, whilst I should wrap myself up in the pride of being the preferred rival; we should both be deceived; you would be satisfied: all the rest is of no consequence.
I admire how skillfully, or rather awkwardly, you suggest that I should let you get back with your Presidente. It would be so convenient, wouldn’t it? You get to take all the credit for this excitement without giving up the enjoyment! And this sacrifice you’re offering, which wouldn’t really be a sacrifice for you, is something you’re willing to renew whenever I want! With this setup, the heavenly devotee would always believe she is your one true love, while I would take pride in being the preferred rival; we’d both be fooled, you’d be content, and everything else wouldn’t matter.
It is much to be lamented, that with such extraordinary talents for projects, you have so few for execution; and that by one inconsiderate step, you put an insurmountable obstacle to what you so much wished.
It’s really unfortunate that with such amazing talent for planning, you have so little for actually getting things done; and that by one thoughtless move, you’ve created an impossible barrier to what you wanted so badly.
What! you had, then, an idea of renewing your connection, and yet you copied my letter! You must, then, have thought me awkward indeed! Believe me, Viscount, when a woman strikes at the heart of another, she seldom misses her blow, and the wound is incurable. When I struck this one, or rather directed the blow, I did not forget she was my rival, that you had for a moment preferred her to me, placed me beneath her. If I am deceived in my revenge, I consent to bear the blame; therefore, I agree you may attempt every means; even I invite you to it, and promise you I shall not be angry at your success. I am so easy on this matter, I shall say no more of it: let us talk of something else.
What! So you thought about reconnecting, and you still copied my letter? You must really think I’m awkward! Believe me, Viscount, when a woman goes after another's heart, she usually hits her target, and the wound is deep. When I aimed this blow, or rather orchestrated it, I didn’t forget she was my rival and that you had briefly chosen her over me, putting me beneath her. If I’m wrong about my revenge, I’ll take the blame; so I agree you can try whatever you want; in fact, I encourage you, and I promise I won’t be upset if you succeed. I’m so laid-back about this, I won’t mention it again: let’s talk about something else.
As to the health of the little Volanges, you will be able to give me some positive news at my return. I shall be glad to have some. After that, you will be the best judge whether it will be most convenient to give the little girl up to her lover, or endeavour to be the founder of a new branch of the Valmonts, under the name of Gercourt. This idea pleases me much: but in leaving the choice to yourself, I must yet require you will not come to a definitive resolution until we talk the matter over. It is not putting you off for a long time, for I shall be in Paris immediately. I can’t positively say the day; but be assured, as soon as I arrive, you shall be the first informed of it.
Regarding the health of little Volanges, you'll be able to give me some solid news when I return. I’ll be happy to hear it. After that, you’ll be the best judge of whether it’s more convenient to hand the little girl over to her lover or try to start a new branch of the Valmonts under the name of Gercourt. I really like this idea; however, by leaving the choice up to you, I must insist that you don't make a final decision until we discuss it. This won’t take long, as I’ll be in Paris soon. I can’t say exactly when, but rest assured that as soon as I arrive, you’ll be the first to know.
Adieu, Viscount! notwithstanding my quarrels, my mischievousness, and my reproaches, I always love you much, and am preparing to prove it. Adieu, till our next meeting.
Adieu, Viscount! Despite my arguments, my playfulness, and my complaints, I always love you a lot and am getting ready to show it. Adieu, until we meet again.
Castle of ——, Nov. 29, 17—.
Castle of ——, Nov. 29, 1700s.
LETTER CXLVI.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
The Marchioness de Merteuil to the Chevalier Danceny.
At last I set out, my young friend; to-morrow evening I shall be in Paris. The hurry always attending a removal will prevent me from seeing any one. Yet if you should have any pressing confidential business to impart, I shall except you from the general rule: but I except you alone; therefore request my arrival may be a secret. I shall not even inform Valmont of it.
At last, I've set off, my young friend; tomorrow evening, I'll be in Paris. The chaos that comes with moving will stop me from seeing anyone. However, if you have any urgent private matters to discuss, I'll make an exception for you: but just for you alone, so please keep my arrival a secret. I won’t even tell Valmont about it.
Whoever would have told me, sometime ago, you would have my exclusive confidence, I would not have believed them: but yours drew on mine. I should be inclined to think you had made use of some address, or, perhaps, seduction. That would be wrong, indeed! however, it would not at present be very dangerous; you have other business in hand. When the heroine is on the stage, we seldom take notice of the confidant.
Whoever would have told me, some time ago, that I would trust you completely, I wouldn't have believed it: but your openness influenced mine. I might think you used some charm or maybe even seduction. That would be completely inappropriate! Still, it wouldn’t be too risky right now; you have other things to focus on. When the main character is in the spotlight, we hardly pay attention to the sidekick.
And, indeed, you have not had time to impart your late success to me. When your Cecilia was absent, the days were too short to listen to your plaintive strains. You would have told them to the echo, if I had not been ready to hear them. Since, when she was ill, you even honoured me with a recital of your troubles; you wanted some one to tell them to: but now your love is in Paris, that she is quite recovered, and you sometimes see her, your friends are quite neglected.
And, actually, you haven't had the chance to share your recent success with me. When your Cecilia was away, the days were too short for me to listen to your sad songs. You would have just been talking to yourself if I hadn’t been here to listen. After all, when she was sick, you even shared your troubles with me; you needed someone to confide in. But now that your love is in Paris, that she is fully recovered, and that you see her occasionally, your friends have really been overlooked.
I do not blame you in the least, it is a fault of youth; for it is a received truth, that from Alcibiades down to you, young people are unacquainted with friendship but in adversity. Happiness sometimes makes them indiscreet, but never presumptuous. I will say, with Socrates, I like my friends to come to me when they are unhappy: but, as a philosopher, he did very well without them if they did not come. I am not quite so wise as he, for I felt your silence with all the weakness of a woman.
I don’t blame you at all; it’s a youthful mistake. It’s a well-known truth that, from Alcibiades up to you, young people really only understand friendship in tough times. Happiness can sometimes make them reckless, but never arrogant. I’ll echo Socrates: I prefer my friends to approach me when they are feeling down: however, as a philosopher, he managed perfectly fine without them if they didn’t show up. I’m not as wise as he is, because your silence hit me hard, and I felt it with all the vulnerability of a woman.
However, do not think me too exacting; far from it. The same sentiment that leads me to observe those privations, makes me bear them with fortitude, when they are proofs, or the cause of the happiness of my friends. I shall, therefore, not depend on you for to-morrow evening, only as far as is consistent with love and want of occupation; and I positively forbid you to make me the least sacrifice.
However, don't think I'm being too demanding; quite the opposite. The same feeling that makes me notice those hardships also helps me endure them with strength when they contribute to the happiness of my friends. So, I won't rely on you for tomorrow evening, except as it aligns with love and a lack of things to do; and I absolutely forbid you from making any sacrifices for me.
Adieu, Chevalier! it will be an absolute regale to see you again—will you come?
Adieu, Chevalier! It will be a real treat to see you again—will you come?
Castle of ——, Nov. 29, 17—.
Castle of ——, Nov. 29, 17—.
LETTER CXLVII.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
Madame de Volanges to Madame de Rosemonde.
You will most assuredly be as much afflicted, my dear friend, as I am, when I acquaint you with Madame de Tourvel’s state; she has been indisposed since yesterday: she was taken so suddenly, and her disorder is of such an alarming nature, that I am really frightened about it.
You will definitely feel as troubled, my dear friend, as I do when I tell you about Madame de Tourvel’s condition; she has been unwell since yesterday. It came on so suddenly, and her illness is so concerning that I’m truly scared about it.
A burning fever, an almost constant and violent delirium, a perpetual thirst, are the symptoms. The physicians say, they cannot as yet form their prognostics; and their endeavours are frustrated, as the patient obstinately refuses every kind of remedy: insomuch, that they were obliged to use force to bleed her; and were twice since forced to use the same method, to tie up the bandages, which she tore off in her fits.
A high fever, nearly constant and intense delirium, and a relentless thirst are the symptoms. The doctors say they can’t yet make any predictions; their efforts are hindered because the patient stubbornly rejects all kinds of treatment. They've even had to use force to draw her blood and have twice had to restrain her to keep the bandages on, as she ripped them off during her episodes.
You and I, who have seen her, so weak, so timid, so mild, could hardly conceive that four persons scarcely could hold her; and on the least remonstrance she flies out in the greatest rage imaginable: for my part, I fear it is something worse than a raving, and borders on downright madness.
You and I, who have seen her, so weak, so shy, so gentle, could hardly believe that four people could barely restrain her; and at the slightest challenge, she explodes in the angriest outburst imaginable: as for me, I fear it's something worse than just being mad, and it edges on pure insanity.
And what happened the day before yesterday adds to my fears.
And what happened the day before yesterday only increases my worries.
On that day she came about eleven in the morning to the convent of —— with her waiting maid. As she was educated in that house, and occasionally came to visit there, she was received as usual, and appeared to every one in good health and very quiet. In about two hours after she asked, whether the room she had, whilst she was a pensioner, was vacant? and being answered in the affirmative, she begged leave to see it; the prioress and some of the nuns accompanied her. She then declared she came back to settle in this room, which, said she, I ought never to have quitted; adding, she would not depart from it until death: that was her expression.
On that day, she arrived around eleven in the morning at the convent of —— with her maid. Since she had been educated in that house and occasionally visited, she was welcomed as usual and appeared to everyone in good health and very calm. About two hours later, she asked if her old room, where she stayed as a pensioner, was available. When she was told it was, she requested to see it, and the prioress along with a few of the nuns accompanied her. She then stated that she had come back to settle in that room, which, she said, she should have never left; adding that she wouldn’t leave it until death: that was her exact phrase.
At first, they stared at each other: but the first surprise being over, they remonstrated, that, as a married woman, she could not be received without a special permission. That, and a thousand other arguments were unavailable; and from that moment she was obstinate, not only to remain in the convent, but even not to stir from the room. At length, being tired out, they consented, at seven in the evening, she should remain there that night. Her carriage and servants were sent home, and they adjourned until the next day.
At first, they just stared at each other, but once the initial shock wore off, they argued that, as a married woman, she couldn't be allowed in without special permission. Countless other arguments failed as well, and from that moment on, she was determined not only to stay in the convent but also to not leave the room. Eventually, exhausted from trying, they agreed that she could stay there that night. Her carriage and servants were sent home, and they decided to meet again the next day.
I have been assured, during the whole night her appearance and deportment did not exhibit the least wandering symptom; on the contrary, she seemed composed and deliberate; only fell into a profound reverie four or five times, which conversation could not remove; and every time before she recovered from it, she seemed forcibly to squeeze her forehead with both hands: on which one of the nuns asked her if she had a pain in her head; she fixed her eyes on her sometime before she replied, and said, “My disorder is not there.” Immediately after she begged to be left alone, and also, that in future they should not put any questions to her.
I was assured that throughout the entire night, her appearance and behavior showed no signs of distraction; on the contrary, she seemed calm and intentional. She only fell into a deep reverie four or five times, which conversation couldn't shake off; and each time before she came back to herself, she seemed to press her forehead with both hands. One of the nuns asked her if she had a headache; she stared at her for a moment before answering, and said, “My issue isn't there.” Right after, she requested to be left alone and also that they shouldn't ask her any questions in the future.
Every one retired except her waiting maid, who was fortunately obliged to sleep in the same chamber.
Everyone retired except for her maid, who was unfortunately required to sleep in the same room.
According to the girl’s account, her mistress was pretty quiet until about eleven at night; then she said she would go to bed: but before she was quite undressed, she walked to and fro in her room with much action and gesture. Julie, who was present at every thing that passed during the day, did not dare say a word, and silently waited near an hour. At length, Madame de Tourvel called her twice on a sudden; she had scarce time to reach her, when her mistress dropped in her arms, saying, “I can hold out no longer.” She suffered her to lead her to her bed; but would not take any thing, nor allow her to call for assistance. She ordered her only to leave her some water, and go to bed.
According to the girl’s account, her mistress was pretty quiet until around eleven at night; then she said she would go to bed. But before she was completely undressed, she walked back and forth in her room with a lot of movements and gestures. Julie, who saw everything that happened during the day, didn’t dare to say a word and silently waited for about an hour. Finally, Madame de Tourvel called her twice suddenly; she barely had time to reach her when her mistress collapsed in her arms, saying, “I can’t take it anymore.” She let Julie help her to bed but wouldn’t take anything or let her call for help. She only asked Julie to leave her some water and go to bed.
The girl avers, she did not go to sleep till two in the morning, and heard neither disturbance nor complaint. At five she was awoke by her mistress, who spoke in a strong loud tone. She asked, if she wanted any thing; but receiving no answer, she went to Madame de Tourvel’s bedside with a light, who did not know her; but breaking off her incoherent discourse, exclaimed violently, “Leave me alone! Let me be left in darkness! It is darkness alone suits me!” I remarked yesterday, she often repeated those expressions.
The girl says she didn't go to sleep until two in the morning and didn't hear any noise or complaints. At five, her mistress woke her up, speaking loudly. She asked if the girl needed anything, but when she got no response, she went to Madame de Tourvel’s bedside with a light. Madame de Tourvel didn’t recognize her and interrupted her jumbled speech, yelling, “Leave me alone! Just let me stay in the dark! It's the darkness that suits me!” I noticed yesterday that she often repeated those phrases.
At last, Julie took this opportunity to go out and call for assistance, which Madame de Tourvel refused with the greatest fury and madness. These fits have often returned since.
At last, Julie took this chance to step outside and ask for help, which Madame de Tourvel vehemently rejected with intense anger and madness. These episodes have often recurred since then.
The distress the whole convent was thrown in, induced the Prioress to send for me yesterday morning at seven, when it was not yet day. I went immediately. When I was announced to Madame de Tourvel, she seemed to come to herself, and said, “Ah! yes, let her come in.” She fixed her eyes on me when I came near her bed, and seizing my hand suddenly, she squeezed it, saying, in a strong, melancholy tone, “I die for not having taken your advice;” and immediately covering her eyes, she resumed her delirium of “Leave me alone,” &c. and lost all reason.
The distress that engulfed the entire convent prompted the Prioress to call for me yesterday morning at seven, before dawn. I went right away. When I was announced to Madame de Tourvel, she seemed to come back to herself and said, “Ah! yes, let her come in.” She fixated on me as I approached her bed, and suddenly grabbing my hand, she squeezed it and said in a strong, sorrowful tone, “I’m dying for not having taken your advice;” and immediately covering her eyes, she fell back into her delirium of “Leave me alone,” etc., and lost all sense of reason.
Those discourses, and some others that fell from her in her delirium, make me apprehend this dreadful disorder has still a more cruel cause; but let us respect the secrets of our friend, and pity her misfortune.
Those conversations, along with a few other things she said while she was delirious, make me worry that this terrible illness has an even harsher cause; but let’s honor our friend’s secrets and feel sorry for her unfortunate situation.
All yesterday was equally stormy, either fits of frightful deliriousness, or lethargic faintness, the only time when she takes or gives any rest. I did not leave her bed’s head until nine at night, and am going again this morning for the day.
All of yesterday was just as stormy, with either bouts of terrifying delirium or lazy weakness, the only moments when she gets or gives any rest. I didn’t leave her bedside until nine at night, and I’m going back again this morning for the day.
I will not certainly abandon our unhappy friend: but her obstinacy in refusing all help and assistance is very distressing.
I definitely won’t abandon our troubled friend, but her stubbornness in rejecting all help and support is really upsetting.
I enclose you the journal of last night, which I have just received, and which, as you will see, brings but little consolation. I will take care to send them you regularly.
I’m sending you the journal from last night, which I just got, and as you’ll see, it offers very little comfort. I’ll make sure to send them to you regularly.
Adieu, my worthy friend! I am going to visit our poor friend. My daughter, who is perfectly recovered, presents her compliments to you.
Goodbye, my dear friend! I'm going to see our unfortunate friend. My daughter, who is completely better now, sends her regards to you.
Paris, Nov. 29, 17—.
Paris, Nov. 29, 1717—.
LETTER CXLVIII.
The CHEVALIER DANCENY to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
The Chevalier Danceny to the Marchioness de Merteuil.
O you, whom I love! O thou, whom I adore! O you, with whom my happiness hath commenced! O thou, who hast completed it! Compassionate friend! tender mistress! why does the reflection that you are a prey to grief come to disturb my charmed mind? Ah, Madam! resume your calmness; it is the duty of friendship to make this entreaty. O my heart’s only object! be happy; it is the prayer of love.
O you, whom I love! O you, whom I adore! O you, with whom my happiness has begun! O you, who have completed it! Compassionate friend! Tender mistress! Why does the thought that you are suffering bring distress to my peaceful mind? Ah, Madam! Please regain your calmness; it’s the duty of friendship to ask this. O my heart’s only desire! Be happy; this is the wish of love.
What reproaches have you to make to yourself? Believe me, your extraordinary delicacy misleads you. The regret it occasions you, the injuries it charges me with, are equally imaginary; and I feel within my heart, that there has been between us no other seducer than love. No longer dread, then, to yield to those sentiments you inspire, or to partake of a flame you have kindled. What! would we have had more reason to boast of purity in our connection, if it had taken more time to form? Undoubtedly not. That is the characteristic of seduction, which, never acting unless by projects, is able to regulate its progress and means, and foresees events at a great distance: but true love does not permit that kind of meditation and reflection; it diverts us from thought with occupying us wholly with sentiments. Its empire is never more powerful than when unknown; and it is in obscurity and silence that it steals upon us, and binds us in chains equally impossible to be perceived or to be broken.
What do you blame yourself for? Trust me, your intense sensitivity is misleading. The regret it causes you and the faults it places on me are both imaginary; and I truly believe that the only thing that has seduced us is love. So don't be afraid to embrace the feelings you inspire or to share in the passion you've ignited. What? Would we have felt prouder of our purity if it had taken longer to develop? Definitely not. That's the nature of seduction, which only acts through plans, able to control its pace and foresee outcomes far in advance: but true love doesn’t allow for that kind of calculation; it completely engages us with feelings that distract us from thought. Its power is never stronger than when it’s unknown; and it sneaks up on us in darkness and silence, binding us with chains that are just as impossible to see or to break.
Thus, even yesterday, notwithstanding the lively emotions which the idea of your return caused in me, in defiance of the extreme pleasure I felt on seeing you, I nevertheless thought myself led and called upon by serene friendship alone, or rather entirely absorbed by the sweet sentiments of my heart, I concerned myself very little in tracing either their cause or origin. Like me, my dear friend, you experienced, though unconscious of it, that all-powerful charm, which gave up our whole souls to the rapturous impression of tenderness, and neither of us recognised it to be love, till after the intoxication that deity plunged us into.
So even just yesterday, despite the strong feelings your return stirred in me, and in spite of the immense happiness I felt seeing you, I still thought I was guided and called upon purely by calm friendship. In fact, I was so wrapped up in the sweet feelings in my heart that I hardly even considered their cause or origin. Like me, my dear friend, you experienced, though you might not have realized it, that powerful charm that gave ourselves completely to the overwhelming feeling of tenderness, and neither of us recognized it as love until after that intoxicating experience took hold of us.
But that very circumstance is our exculpation, instead of our guilt. No, you did not betray the rights of friendship, nor have I abused your confidence. We both, it is true, were ignorant of our sentiments; but we only underwent the delusion, without any efforts to give birth to it: and far from complaining of it, let us only think of the happiness it procured us, without disturbing it by unjust reproaches; let our only endeavours be to farther augment it, by the pleasures of confidence and entire security. O, my friend! how dear these hopes are to my heart! Yes, henceforward freed from all fears, and wholly occupied by love, you will participate of my desires, of my transports, of the sweet delirium of my senses, of the intoxication of my soul, and each moment of our happy days shall be marked by a new enjoyment.
But that very situation clears us of blame instead of making us guilty. No, you didn’t betray the trust of friendship, and I haven’t misused your confidence. It’s true that we were both unaware of our feelings; however, we merely experienced the illusion without trying to create it. Rather than complain about it, let’s focus on the happiness it brought us, without muddying it with unfair accusations. Our only goal should be to enhance it further with the joys of trust and complete security. Oh, my friend! How precious these hopes are to me! Yes, from now on, free from all fears and fully immersed in love, you will share my desires, my excitement, the sweet madness of my senses, the intoxication of my soul, and every moment of our joyful days will be marked by a new pleasure.
Adieu, thou whom I adore! I shall see thee this evening; but shall I find you alone? I hardly dare to hope it. Ah! you do not desire it as much as I!
Goodbye, you whom I love! I’ll see you this evening; but will I find you alone? I can barely hope for that. Oh! You don’t want it as much as I do!
Paris, Dec. 1, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 1, 1717—.
LETTER CXLIX.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
Madame de Volanges to Madame de Rosemonde.
I was in hopes almost all day yesterday, to have been able to give you, my worthy friend, this morning, a more favourable account of our dear patient; but since last night, that hope is utterly destroyed. A matter seemingly of very little importance, but which, in its consequences, proves to be a very unhappy one, has made the case at least as grievous as before, if not worse.
I was hoping all day yesterday to give you, my dear friend, a better update on our beloved patient this morning; however, since last night, that hope has completely vanished. What seemed like a minor issue has turned out to be quite serious, making the situation at least as bad as before, if not worse.
I should not have had any comprehension of this sudden change, if I had not received yesterday the entire confidence of our unhappy friend. As she did not conceal from me that you also are acquainted with all her misfortunes, I can inform you every thing without reserve of her unhappy situation.
I wouldn’t have understood this sudden change if I hadn’t received the full trust of our unfortunate friend yesterday. Since she didn’t hide from me that you are also aware of all her troubles, I can share everything openly about her sad situation.
Yesterday morning, on my arrival at the convent, I was informed she had been asleep about three hours; and that sleep, so profound and so easy, I for some time was apprehensive was lethargic—Some time after she awoke, and opened the curtains of the bed herself.
Yesterday morning, when I got to the convent, I was told she had been sleeping for about three hours; and that sleep was so deep and so peaceful that for a while I worried it was more like a coma. After a little while, she woke up and opened the curtains of her bed herself.
At first she looked at us all with great surprise, and as I rose to go to her, she knew me, called me by my name, and begged I would come near her. She did not give me time to ask her any questions, but desired to know where she was; what we were doing there; if she was sick; and why she was not in her own house? I imagined at first, it was another frenzy, only more gentle than the former: but I soon perceived she understood my replies perfectly; and she had recovered her reason, but not her memory.
At first, she looked at all of us with surprise, and as I stood up to go to her, she recognized me, called me by my name, and asked me to come closer. She didn’t give me a chance to ask her any questions, but wanted to know where she was, what we were doing there, if she was sick, and why she wasn’t in her own house. I initially thought it was another episode, just milder than the last one, but I quickly realized she understood my answers perfectly; she had regained her sanity, but not her memory.
She questioned me very minutely on every thing that happened to her since she came to the convent, which she did not remember. I gave her a faithful account, only concealing what I thought might frighten her too much: and when I asked how she was, she replied she did not then feel any pain: but was much tormented during her sleep, and found herself fatigued. I advised her to keep quiet, and say little: then I partly closed the curtains, and sat down by the side of her bed: some broth was then proposed, which she agreed to take, and liked it very well.
She asked me in detail about everything that happened to her since she arrived at the convent, which she couldn’t remember. I gave her an honest account, only leaving out what I thought might scare her too much. When I asked how she was feeling, she said she didn’t feel any pain at the moment, but she had been really troubled during her sleep and felt tired. I suggested that she rest and speak less, then I partially closed the curtains and sat by her bed. Some broth was offered, which she agreed to have, and she liked it a lot.
She continued thus about half an hour, and only spoke to thank me for my care of her, which she did with that graceful ease you know is so natural to her; afterwards she was for some time quite silent, which she broke at length, saying, “O yes, I now remember my coming here;” and a minute after, exclaimed grievously, “My dear friend, have pity on me! My miseries are all returning on me.” I was then coming towards her, she grasped my hand, and leaning her head against it, “Great God!” said she, “cannot I then die!” Her expression more than her words melted me into tears; she perceived it by my voice, and said, “you pity me then; ah, if you but knew!”—Then breaking off: “Let us be alone, and I will tell you all.”
She went on like this for about half an hour, only pausing to thank me for taking care of her, which she did with that natural grace you know she has. After that, she fell silent for a while, until she finally broke the silence by saying, “Oh yes, I remember why I came here.” A moment later, she exclaimed sadly, “My dear friend, please have pity on me! All my troubles are coming back.” As I was moving closer to her, she took my hand and rested her head against it, saying, “Oh my God! Can’t I just die?” Her expression, more than her words, brought me to tears; she noticed it in my voice and said, “So you do feel sorry for me; if only you knew!” Then, trailing off, she added, “Let’s be alone, and I’ll tell you everything.”
I believe I already wrote to you I had some suspicions, which I was apprehensive would be the topic of this conversation that I foresaw would be tedious and melancholy, and might probably be very detrimental to the present state of our unhappy friend. I endeavoured to dissuade her from it, by urging the necessity of repose; she however, insisted, and I was obliged to acquiesce.
I think I already told you that I had some suspicions, which I worried would be the subject of this conversation that I predicted would be tiring and sad, and might be really harmful to the current state of our unfortunate friend. I tried to convince her against it by stressing the need for rest; however, she insisted, and I had to give in.
As soon as we were alone, she acquainted me with every thing you already know, therefore unnecessary to be repeated.
As soon as we were alone, she filled me in on everything you already know, so there's no need to repeat it.
At last, relating the cruel manner in which she was sacrificed, she added, “I was very certain it would be my death, and I was resolved—but it is impossible to survive my shame and grief.” I attempted to contend against this depression, or rather despair, with motives of a religious nature, always hitherto so powerful in her mind; but I was soon convinced I was not equal to this solemn function, and I determined to propose calling in Father Anselmus, in whom I knew she reposes great confidence. She consented, and even appeared much to desire it—He was sent for, and came immediately: he stayed a long time with her, and said, going away, if the physicians were of the same opinion he was, the ceremony of the sacraments he thought might be postponed until the day following.
At last, sharing the painful way she was sacrificed, she added, “I knew it would lead to my death, and I was prepared for that—but I can’t bear the shame and grief.” I tried to fight against her depression, or rather despair, with religious reasons, which had always been strong in her mind; but I quickly realized I wasn’t up to this serious task, so I decided to suggest bringing in Father Anselmus, whom I knew she trusted a lot. She agreed and even seemed to want it—I called for him, and he arrived right away: he spent a long time with her and said, as he was leaving, that if the doctors shared his view, the sacrament ceremony could probably be delayed until the next day.
This was about three in the afternoon, and our friend was pretty quiet until five, so that we all began to conceive some hope; but unfortunately a letter was then brought for her; when it was offered to her, she replied at first she would not receive any, and no one pressed it; but from that time she seemed more disturbed. Soon after she asked from whom the letter came?—It had no post-mark—Who brought it?—No one knew—From what place did the messenger say it came?—The portress was not informed. She remained silent some time after; then again began to speak; but her discourse was so incoherent, we were soon convinced the frenzy was returned.
This was around three in the afternoon, and our friend was pretty quiet until five, so we all started to feel a bit hopeful. But unfortunately, a letter was brought to her at that point. When it was offered to her, she initially said she wouldn’t accept any, and no one pressed her on it. However, after that, she seemed more agitated. Soon after, she asked who the letter was from. It had no postmark. Who delivered it? No one knew. Where did the messenger say it was from? The portress wasn’t informed. She stayed quiet for a while, then started speaking again, but her words were so jumbled that we quickly realized the frenzy had returned.
However there was a quiet interval afterwards, until at last she desired the letter should be given to her. The moment she cast her eyes on it, she exclaimed, “Good God! from him!” and then in a strong and oppressed tone of voice, “Take it, take it.” She instantly ordered the curtains of her bed to be closed, and desired no one should come near her; but we were all soon obliged to come round her: the frenzy returned with more violence than ever, accompanied with most dreadful convulsions—Those shocking incidents continued the whole evening; and the account I received this morning, informs me, the night has been no less turbulent. On the whole, I am astonished she has held out so long in the condition she is: and I will not conceal from you, that I have very little, if any, hope of her recovery.
However, there was a quiet moment afterward, until she finally asked to see the letter. The moment she laid eyes on it, she exclaimed, “Oh my God! From him!” and then in a strong and strained voice, “Take it, take it.” She immediately ordered the curtains of her bed to be closed and asked for no one to come near her; but we all soon had to gather around her: the frenzy returned with more intensity than ever, accompanied by terrible convulsions. Those shocking events continued all evening; and the update I got this morning tells me the night was no less turbulent. Overall, I’m amazed she’s managed to hold out this long given her condition: and I won’t hide from you that I have very little, if any, hope for her recovery.
I suppose this unfortunate letter is from M. de Valmont—What! can he still dare to write to her! Forgive me, my dear friend; I must put a stop to my reflections—It is, however, a most cruel case, to see a woman make so wretched an end, who has, until now, lived so happy, and was so worthy being so.
I guess this unfortunate letter is from M. de Valmont—What! Can he still be bold enough to write to her? Forgive me, my dear friend; I have to stop my thoughts here—It’s truly a heartbreaking situation to see a woman end up so miserable after living so happily and being so deserving of that happiness.
Paris, Dec. 2, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 2, '17—.
LETTER CL.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Chevalier Danceny to the Marchioness de Merteuil.
In expectation of the happiness of seeing you, I indulge myself, my tender friend, in the pleasure of writing to you; and thus by occupying myself with you, I dispel the gloom that otherwise would be occasioned by your absence. To delineate to you my sentiments, to recall yours to my mind, is a true enjoyment to my heart; and thus even the time of privation affords me a thousand ideas precious to my love—Yet, if I am to believe you, I shall not obtain any answer from you, even this letter shall be the last, and we shall abandon a correspondence which, according to you, is dangerous, and of which we have no need—Certainly I shall believe you if you persist; for what can you desire that does not of course become my desire? But before you ultimately decide upon it, will you not permit a slight conversation on the subject.
In anticipation of the happiness I'll feel when I see you, my dear friend, I enjoy writing to you; by focusing on you, I push away the sadness that your absence brings. Sharing my feelings with you and recalling yours is truly a joy for me; even in times apart, I cherish countless thoughts that are dear to my love. However, if I take your words seriously, I won’t get any response from you, and this letter will be the last one, ending our correspondence which you say is risky, and unnecessary—I’ll believe you if you keep it up; after all, what could you want that isn’t also my desire? But before you make that final decision, will you allow a brief conversation about it?
Of the head of danger you are the only judge—I can frame no calculation of it—and I shall confine myself to requesting you would look to your own safety, for I can have no tranquillity while you are disquieted—As to this object, it is not we two that are but one, it is thou that art us both.
Of the danger at hand, you are the only one who can judge—I can't make any calculations about it—and I will simply ask you to prioritize your own safety, because I can't find peace while you are troubled—As for this matter, it's not just the two of us as one; it's you who represent us both.
As to the matter of necessity, we can have but one thought; and if we differ in opinion, it can only rise from a want of proper explanation, or from not understanding one another. I shall therefore state to you what I think is my sensation.
As for the issue of necessity, we can only have one perspective; and if we disagree, it must come from a lack of clear explanation or misunderstanding between us. So, I'll share what I believe I feel.
Without doubt a letter appears very unnecessary when we can see one another freely—What could it say that a word, or look, or even silence itself, could not express? A hundred times before, this appeared to me so clear, that in the very moment that you spoke to me of not writing any more, that idea my mind immediately adopted—It was a restraint upon it perhaps, but did not affect it—Thus, when I have offered a kiss upon your bosom, and found a ribband or piece of gauze in my way, I only turn it aside, and have not the least sentiment of an obstacle.
Without a doubt, a letter seems completely unnecessary when we can see each other freely—what could it possibly convey that a word, a look, or even silence itself couldn’t express? A hundred times before, I’ve thought this was so clear, that the moment you mentioned not writing anymore, that idea immediately took hold in my mind—it might have been a limitation, but it didn’t really affect me. So, when I’ve offered a kiss on your chest and encountered a ribbon or a piece of gauze in the way, I just push it aside and feel no sense of it being an obstacle at all.
But since we have separated, and you are no longer there, this idea of correspondence by letters has returned to torment me—What is the reason, I have said to myself, of this additional privation? Why is it, because we are at some distance, we have nothing more to say to each other? Suppose that a fortunate concurrence of circumstances should bring us together for a day, shall we then employ in conversation the time that ought to be wholly dedicated to enjoyment, which letters between us would prevent? I say enjoyment, my dear friend; for with you the very moments of repose furnish, too, a delicious enjoyment; in a word, whenever such a happy opportunity offers, the conclusion is still separation; and one is so solitary, it is then a letter becomes truly precious: if not read, it is sure to be the only object that employs the eye. Ah! there can be no doubt, but one may look at a letter without reading it; as I think that I even could have some pleasure at night by barely touching your portrait.
But since we've parted ways, and you're no longer here, this idea of writing letters keeps coming back to bother me—What’s the reason for this added loss? Why is it that just because we’re apart, we have nothing left to say to each other? If a stroke of luck brings us together for a day, will we spend that time talking instead of fully enjoying each other’s company, something that letters between us would allow? I mean enjoyment, my dear friend; even the quiet moments with you bring such sweet happiness; in short, whenever such a wonderful chance comes up, we ultimately end up separating again; and one feels so alone, that’s when a letter becomes truly valuable: if not read, it’s sure to be the only thing my eyes focus on. Ah! There’s no doubt that I could look at a letter without actually reading it; I think I could even find some joy at night just by gently touching your portrait.
Your portrait have I said? but a letter is the portrait of the soul; it has not, like a cold image, that degree of stagnation so opposite to love; it yields to all our actions by turns; it becomes animated, gives us enjoyment, and sinks into repose—All your sentiments are precious to me; and will you deprive me of the means of becoming possessed of them?
Your portrait, did I mention? Well, a letter is the true reflection of the soul; it doesn’t have that coldness of a still image that goes against love. It shifts with all our emotions; it comes alive, brings us joy, and then settles down. All your feelings are valuable to me; will you really take away my chance to know them?
Are you quite sure that a desire to write to me will never torment you? If in the midst of your solitude your heart should be too much compressed or desolated; if a joyous emotion should pass to your soul; if an involuntary sadness should disturb it for a moment, it would not then be in the bosom of your friend that you would pour out your happiness or distress; you would then have a sensation he should not share; and you would punish him to wander in solitude and distrust far from you. My friend, my dearest friend! you are to pronounce—I have only proposed to myself to discuss the question with you, and not to over-rule you—I have only offered you reasons—I dare hope I should have stood on stronger ground if I had proceeded to entreaties—I shall endeavour, then, if you should persist, not to be afflicted; I shall use my efforts to tell myself what you would have wrote to me; but you would tell it better than I, and I should have a much higher gratification in hearing it from you.
Are you really sure that a desire to write to me will never bother you? If, in your solitude, your heart feels too heavy or empty; if a wave of happiness washes over you; or if a sudden sadness briefly disturbs you, it wouldn’t be with your friend that you would share your joy or pain; you would then have feelings that he shouldn’t experience, and you would make him feel alone and uncertain far from you. My friend, my dearest friend! You are the one to decide—I only wanted to discuss this with you, not to pressure you—I’ve just offered reasons—I hope I would have been more convincing if I had made heartfelt requests—I will try, then, if you continue to hold back, not to feel hurt; I’ll do my best to imagine what you would have written to me; but you would convey it better than I could, and I would find much greater joy in hearing it directly from you.
Adieu, my charming friend! The hour approaches at last, when I shall be able to see you: I fly from you with the more haste, in order the sooner to meet you again.
Goodbye, my lovely friend! The time is finally coming when I can see you: I rush away from you more quickly so that I can meet you again sooner.
Paris, Dec. 3, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 3, 1917—.
LETTER CLI.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
The Viscount de Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Surely, Marchioness, you do not take me to be such a novice, to imagine I could be duped in the tête-à-tête which I found you in this afternoon; or by the astonishing chance that led Danceny to your house! Not but your well-practised countenance wonderfully assumed a calm serenity of expression; or that you, by the most trifling word, betrayed, which sometimes happens, the least disorder or uneasiness. I will even allow your submissive looks served you eminently; and could they have made themselves as well credited as readily understood, far from having or harbouring the least suspicion, I should not at all have doubted the great vexation this troublesome trio gave you. But to display to greater advantage those extraordinary talents, to ensure the success you promised yourself, to carry on the deception you intended, you should have formed your inexperienced lover with more care.
Surely, Marchioness, you don’t think I’m such a fool as to believe I could be tricked in the private conversation I found you in this afternoon; or by the amazing coincidence that led Danceny to your house! Not that your practiced expression didn’t perfectly convey a calm serenity; or that you didn’t, with the smallest comment, reveal the slightest hint of disorder or unease. I even admit your submissive looks were very effective; if only they could have been as convincing as they were easy to interpret, far from raising any suspicion, I would have completely believed how much this troublesome trio annoyed you. But to really show off those exceptional skills, to make sure the success you expected, and to carry out the deception you planned, you should have crafted your inexperienced lover with more care.
Since you have begun to educate youth, you should teach your pupils not to blush or be disconcerted at a little raillery; not to deny so warmly for one woman, the same charge which they so faintly excuse themselves in for all others; teach them also to learn to hear encomiums on their mistress, without enhancing them.
Since you’ve started teaching young people, you should instruct your students not to feel embarrassed or flustered by some teasing; not to deny so passionately for one woman the same accusation they casually brush off for all others; also, teach them to listen to compliments about their girlfriend without trying to exaggerate them.
And if you permit them to fix their looks on you in the circle, let them be taught to disguise that glance of enjoyment which is so easy to discover, and which they so unskilfully blend with the glance of love—Then you will be able to exhibit them in your public exercises, and their behaviour will not do any prejudice to their sage institutrix. Even myself, happy to be able to contribute to your celebrity, will compose and publish the exercises to be performed in this new college.
And if you let them focus their attention on you in the group, teach them to hide that look of pleasure which is so easy to spot, and which they clumsily mix with the look of love—then you’ll be able to showcase them in your public activities, and their behavior won’t reflect poorly on their wise teacher. Even I, excited to help enhance your reputation, will write and publish the activities to be performed in this new college.
But I am astonished, I must own, that you should have undertaken to treat me as a school-boy. O! with any other woman, what pleasure I should have in being revenged! How transcendent it would be to that she should think to deprive me of! Yes, it is for you alone I condescend to give preference to satisfaction rather than revenge: and do not think I am restrained by the least doubt or uncertainty—I know all.
But I’m really surprised, I have to admit, that you would try to treat me like a schoolboy. Oh! With any other woman, I would take so much pleasure in getting back at her! How amazing it would be for her to think she could take that away from me! Yes, it’s only because of you that I choose to prioritize satisfaction over revenge: and don’t think I’m held back by any doubts or uncertainties—I know everything.
You have been in Paris now four days, and each day Danceny has been with you, and you have not admitted any one but him—even this day your door was still close; and had your porter’s assurance been equal to his mistress’s, I should not have seen you: yet you wrote me I might depend on being the first informed of your arrival. Of that same arrival, the particular day of which could not be ascertained, although you was writing to me the eve of your departure—Can you deny those facts, or will you attempt to excuse them? They are both equally impossible; and still I keep my temper! Acknowledge here your power; be satisfied to have experienced it, but do not any longer abuse it. We know each other, Marchioness; that should be sufficient.
You’ve been in Paris for four days now, and Danceny has been with you every day. You haven’t let anyone else in, not even today when your door was still shut. If your porter had been as reliable as you, I wouldn’t have seen you. Yet you wrote to me that I could count on being the first to know about your arrival. You wrote to me the night before you left, but I still can’t tell when you really got here. Can you deny any of this or will you try to justify it? Both options seem impossible, and yet I’m still managing to stay calm! Acknowledge your influence here; recognize that you’ve had it, but don’t misuse it any longer. We know each other, Marchioness; that should be enough.
To-morrow you are to be out for the day you told me; be it so, if you really go out, and you think I shall know it: but you will be home in the evening; we shall not have too much time until the next day to settle our difficult reconciliation. Let me know, then, if it will be at your house, or yonder, we shall make our numerous reciprocal expiations. But no more of Danceny; your wrong head had filled itself with his idea, and I am willing to overlook this delirium of your fancy; but remember, from this moment, that what was only a whim, would become a decided preference. I am not tempered for such an humiliation, neither do I expect to receive it from you.
Tomorrow you're going out for the day, as you mentioned; that's fine, if you really do go out, and you think I won't know. But you'll be home in the evening; we won't have much time until the next day to sort out our tricky reconciliation. Let me know if it will be at your place, or over there, where we will make our many mutual amends. But let's not talk about Danceny anymore; your stubborn mind has gotten hung up on him, and I'm willing to ignore this madness of yours. Just remember, from now on, that what was just a whim can easily turn into a real preference. I'm not ready for that kind of humiliation, and I don’t expect to face it from you.
I even expect this sacrifice will be but trifling to you—If it should be a little troublesome, I think, however, I have set you a tolerable example! A sensible and lovely woman, who existed for me only, who, perhaps, at this instant, is expiring with love and grief, may well be worth a young scholar, who, if you will, wants neither wit or accomplishments, but is deficient in consistency.
I expect this sacrifice will be minor for you—if it ends up being a little inconvenient, I think I’ve shown you a decent example! A smart and beautiful woman, who exists only for me, who might be right now suffering from love and heartache, is worth much more than a young scholar who, if you ask me, lacks neither intelligence nor skills, but is lacking in reliability.
Adieu, Marchioness! I say nothing of my sentiments for you; all I can do at present is not to scrutinize my heart. I wait your answer. Remember, the easier it is for you to make me forget the injury you have done me, the more a denial, even the least delay, would engrave it in indelible characters on my heart.
Adieu, Marchioness! I won’t discuss my feelings for you; all I can do right now is avoid examining my heart. I'm waiting for your response. Keep in mind, the easier you make it for me to forget the hurt you've caused, the more a refusal, even a small delay, will carve it into my heart forever.
Paris, Dec. 3, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 3, 1717—.
LETTER CLII.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The Marchioness de Merteuil to the Lord de Valmont.
Take care, Viscount; have a little more regard for my extreme timidity. How do you think I can support the unsufferable idea of your indignation; but especially that I do not sink under the terror of your vengeance? particularly as you know, if you defamed me, it would be impossible for me to return the compliment. In vain should I babble; your existence would nevertheless be brilliant and peaceful: for what would you have to dread? Only to be under the necessity of retiring if you had an opportunity. But could one not live in a foreign country as well as here? And to sum up all, provided the court of France would let you be quiet in the one you choose to settle in, it would be only changing the field of your victories. After endeavouring to bring you back to your sang froid by these moral considerations, let us resume our own affairs.
Take care, Viscount; please be a bit more considerate of my extreme shyness. How do you expect me to handle the unbearable thought of your anger, especially knowing I might not survive the fear of your revenge? You know that if you slandered me, I wouldn't be able to retaliate. No matter how much I talk, your life would still be shining and calm: what would you really have to fear? Just the need to leave if you had a chance. But couldn't one live anywhere else just as well as here? Ultimately, as long as the court of France allows you peace in whatever place you choose, it would just be switching the scene of your victories. After trying to bring you back to your calm with these moral thoughts, let's get back to our own matters.
You do not know, Viscount, the reasons I never married again. It was not, I assure you, for want of several advantageous matches being offered to me; it was solely that no one should have a right to control me. It was not even a dread of not being able to pursue my inclinations, for certainly, at all events, that I should have done: but it would have pained me if any one should even have a right to complain. On the whole, it was that I would not wish to deceive but for my own pleasure, and not through necessity. And behold you write me the most matrimonial letter it is possible to conceive! You tell me of the injuries I have committed, and the favours you have granted! I cannot conceive how it is possible to be indebted to one where nothing is due.
You don’t know, Viscount, why I never remarried. I assure you, it wasn’t for lack of several good marriage proposals; it was simply that I didn’t want anyone to have control over me. It wasn’t even a fear of not being able to follow my own desires, because I certainly would have done that either way: it would just have upset me if someone had the right to complain. Overall, it was that I didn’t want to deceive anyone except for my own enjoyment, not out of obligation. And here you are, writing me the most matrimonial letter imaginable! You talk about the wrongs I’ve done and the favors you’ve granted! I can’t understand how I could owe anything to someone when nothing is actually owed.
Now for the business. You found Danceny at my house, and you was displeased; be it so: but what conclusion do you draw from thence? Why, that it was the effect of chance, as I told you, or of my inclination, which I did not tell you. In the first instance, your letter is wrong; in the second, ridiculous. It was well worth the trouble of writing! But you are jealous, and jealousy never debates. Well, I will argue for you.
Now for the matter at hand. You found Danceny at my place, and you were upset; fine. But what do you make of that? Well, it was just a coincidence, like I told you, or maybe it was because I wanted him there, which I didn’t say. In the first case, your letter is mistaken; in the second, it's absurd. It was definitely worth the effort to write! But you're jealous, and jealousy never thinks things through. Well, I’ll make a case for you.
You have a rival, or you have not. If you have a rival, you must please, to obtain the preference over him; and if you have none, you must still please, to avoid having one. In all cases the same invariable conduct must be observed. Why, then, will you torment yourself?—And why torment me? Have you, then, lost the secret of being the most amiable? And are you no longer certain of your success? Come, come, Viscount, you do yourself injustice. But that is not the case, for I will not, even in your mind, have you give yourself so much uneasiness. You wish less for my condescension, than an opportunity of abusing your power. Fie! you are very ungrateful! I think this is tolerably sentimental; and was I to continue any time, this letter might become very tender: but you don’t deserve it.
You have a rival, or you don’t. If you have a rival, you need to win their favor to outshine them; and if you don’t have one, you still need to be likable to avoid getting one. In every case, the same consistent behavior is required. So why are you making yourself miserable?—And why make me miserable? Have you really forgotten how to be the most charming? And are you no longer confident in your success? Come on, Viscount, you’re being unfair to yourself. But that’s not true, because I won’t let you stress yourself out like this. You want my approval less than you want a chance to wield your power. Shame on you! You’re being very ungrateful! I think this is quite emotional; and if I went on any longer, this letter could get pretty sweet: but you don’t deserve that.
Neither do you deserve I should enter farther in my justification. To punish you for your suspicions, you shall keep them; so that I shall make no reply as to the time of my return, or Danceny’s visits. You have taken great trouble to be informed of them, most certainly: and pray what progress have you made by it? I hope you received great pleasure from your enquiries; as to mine, it has not been in the least detrimental to them.
Neither do you deserve that I should explain myself any further. To punish you for your suspicions, you can hold onto them; I won't respond about when I’ll be back or about Danceny’s visits. You’ve clearly gone to a lot of effort to find out about them, so what have you discovered? I hope you found a lot of enjoyment in your inquiries; as for me, they haven’t had any negative effect at all.
All I can say, then, to your threatening letter is this—it has neither the gift of pleasing, nor power to intimidate me; and that at this present time I am not in the least disposed to grant your request.
All I can say to your threatening letter is this—it doesn’t please me, and it has no power to scare me; and right now, I have no intention of granting your request.
And, indeed, to receive you, as you exhibit yourself now, would be a downright act of infidelity: it would not be a renewal with my former lover; it would be taking a new one, many degrees inferior to him. I have not so soon forgot the first, to be deceived. The Valmont I loved was a charming fellow. I will even own, I never met a more amiable man. I beg, Viscount, if you find him, to bring him to me, he will be always well received.
And honestly, having you here, as you are now, would be a total betrayal: it wouldn't be rekindling my old romance; it would be settling for someone much worse. I haven't forgotten my first love so easily to be fooled. The Valmont I loved was a delightful guy. I have to admit, I've never met a nicer man. Please, Viscount, if you come across him, bring him to me; he will always be welcome.
Acquaint him, however, that it cannot by any means be either to-day or to-morrow. His Menæchmus has done him some harm, and was I in too much haste, I should dread a deception; or, perhaps, I have given my word to Danceny for those two days: moreover, your letter informs me you do not jest; when one breaks their word, therefore, you see you must wait.
Acquaint him, though, that it can't be today or tomorrow. His Menæchmus has caused him some trouble, and if I hurry, I might fall for a trick; or maybe I've promised Danceny those two days. Also, your letter tells me you're serious; so, when someone breaks their promise, you see, you have to wait.
That is, however, of very little consequence, as you can always be revenged on your rival. He will not treat your mistress worse than you will his; and after all, is not one woman as good as another? These are your own principles. Even she who should be tender and sensible, who existed only for you, who was dying of love and grief, would nevertheless be sacrificed to the first whim, or the dread of being ridiculed for a moment; and yet you would have one constrain themselves! Ah! that is not reasonable.
That doesn’t really matter, since you can always get back at your rival. He won’t treat your girlfriend any worse than you treat his; and really, isn’t one woman just as good as another? Those are your own beliefs. Even the one who should be caring and understanding, who lives only for you, who is suffering from love and sadness, would still be abandoned for some fleeting desire or the fear of being laughed at for a moment; and yet you want someone to hold themselves back! Ah! That’s not fair.
Adieu, Viscount! become once more amiable. It is the utmost of my wishes to find you charming as ever. When I am certain of it, I engage to prove it to you—indeed, I am too good natured.
Adieu, Viscount! Please become pleasant again. It's my greatest wish to see you as charming as ever. Once I’m sure of it, I promise to show you—really, I am just too easygoing.
Paris, Dec. 4, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 4, 17—.
LETTER CLIII.
VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Viscount Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
I reply to your letter on the instant, and will endeavour to be explicit; which is not an easy matter with you, when you have once determined not to understand.
I’m responding to your letter right away, and I'll try to be clear; which isn’t easy with you when you’ve made up your mind not to understand.
Many words are not necessary to convince us, each has the power of ruining the other; we have an equal interest to keep fair with one another: that is not the business at present. But between the violent determination of destruction, and doubtless the more eligible one of being still united as hitherto, or of even being more so, by renewing our first attachment; between those two parties, I say, there are a thousand more to be taken. It was not, then, ridiculous to tell you, neither is it to repeat, that from this day I will either be your lover or your enemy.
Many words aren’t needed to convince us; each one can easily undermine the other. We all have a shared interest in treating each other fairly, but that’s not the point right now. Between the intense desire for destruction and the definitely better option of staying united like before—or even strengthening our bond by rekindling our original connection—there are countless other possibilities to consider. So, it’s not silly to tell you this, and it’s certainly not silly to repeat: from this day forward, I will either be your lover or your enemy.
I am very sensible the choice will give you some uneasiness; that it would be more convenient for you to shuffle. I am also satisfied, you never liked to be confined to yes or no: but you must be sensible, I cannot let you from this small circle, without risking being deceived; and you ought to have foreseen, I would not bear it. You are now to decide. I may leave you the choice, but will not remain in uncertainty.
I understand that my choice will make you uncomfortable and that it would be easier for you to avoid making a decision. I also know you’ve never liked being restricted to a simple yes or no. But you need to realize that I can’t let you step outside of this small circle without risking being misled, and you should have expected that I wouldn’t tolerate that. The decision is now up to you. I might give you the option to choose, but I won't stay in limbo.
I only inform you beforehand, I will not be imposed on by your arguments, good or bad; that I will no longer be seduced by any ornamental wheedling with which you might embellish a refusal; and that the hour of frankness is arrived. I wish for nothing more than to set you the example; and I declare with pleasure, I prefer peace and union. If it is necessary to break one or the other, I think I have the right and the means.
I just want to let you know upfront that I won’t be swayed by your arguments, whether they’re good or bad; I won’t be fooled by any sweet talk or flattery you might use to soften a refusal; and it’s time to be honest. I only want to lead by example, and I can honestly say that I prefer peace and unity. If I need to choose between the two, I believe I have the right and the ability to do so.
Therefore I will add, the least obstacle you make, I shall consider as a declaration of war. You will observe, the answer I demand does not require either long or studied sentences: two words will be sufficient.
Therefore, I'll add that the smallest obstacle you create, I'll see as a declaration of war. You’ll notice that the response I’m asking for doesn’t need to be long or elaborate: two words will be enough.
Paris, Dec. 4, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 4, 1717—.
The answer of the Marchioness de Merteuil, wrote at the bottom of this same letter.
The reply from the Marchioness de Merteuil, written at the bottom of this same letter.
War, then.
War, right?
LETTER CLIV.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
Madame de Volanges to Madame de Rosemonde.
The journal will inform you much better than I can, my dear friend, the melancholy state of our patient. Totally employed in my attendance on her, I have scarce time to write to you, as there are other matters to be attended to as well as her disorder. Here is a specimen of one which most certainly I did not in the least expect. I have received a letter from M. de Valmont, who has been pleased to choose me for a confidant, and even his mediatrix with Madame de Tourvel, to whom he wrote under my cover. I returned the one when I answered the other. I transmit you my answer; and I believe you will be of my opinion, that I neither could or ought to have any thing to do with what he requests. Had I been even inclined to it, our unhappy friend was unable to understand me. Her frenzy is incessant. But what do you think of M. de Valmont’s distraction? Is it real, or does he mean to deceive the world to the last?[1]
The journal will give you a much clearer picture than I can, my dear friend, of our patient’s sad condition. Focused entirely on taking care of her, I hardly have time to write to you, as there are other issues besides her illness that need attention. Here’s an instance that I certainly didn’t see coming. I received a letter from M. de Valmont, who has chosen me as his confidant and even asked me to mediate with Madame de Tourvel, to whom he wrote under my name. I sent back his letter when I replied to him. I’m forwarding you my response; I believe you’ll agree with me that there’s no way I could or should be involved in what he’s asking. Even if I had been inclined to help, our unfortunate friend wouldn’t have been able to understand me. Her madness is unending. But what do you think of M. de Valmont’s behavior? Is it genuine, or is he just trying to fool everyone until the end?[1]
If he is sincere this time, he may well say, he has made himself happy. I believe he will not be well pleased with my answer: but, I own, every thing that fixes my attention on this unhappy adventure, raises my resentment more and more against the author of it.
If he’s being honest this time, he might say he’s made himself happy. I don’t think he’ll be happy with my response, but I admit that everything that draws my focus back to this unfortunate situation only fuels my anger more toward its creator.
Adieu, my dear friend! I must return to my melancholy employment, which becomes more so, by the small prospect there is of success. I need not repeat my sentiments for you.
Adieu, my dear friend! I have to go back to my sad work, which feels even sadder because there’s little chance of success. I don’t need to restate my feelings for you.
Paris, Dec. 5, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 5, 1717—.
LETTER CLV.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
The Viscount de Valmont to the Chevalier Danceny.
I called on you twice, my dear Chevalier; but since you have thrown off the character of a lover for the man of intrigue, you are very properly invisible: however, your valet assured me you would be at home to-night; that you had ordered him to expect you. I, who am well acquainted with your designs, immediately conjectured it would be but for a short time for fashion’s sake, and that you would immediately pursue your victorious career. Go on; I must applaud you: but, perhaps, you will be tempted to alter your course for this night. You are yet acquainted with only half your business; I must let you into the other half, and then you will resolve. Take time, then, to read my letter. It will not dissipate you from your enjoyments; on the contrary, its object is to give you your choice.
I tried to reach you twice, my dear Chevalier; but since you've ditched the lover role for the man of schemes, you're very understandably MIA. However, your valet told me you'd be home tonight and that you told him to expect you. Knowing your plans, I figured it would only be for a brief moment for appearances, and that you'd soon head back to your successful pursuits. Go ahead; I have to commend you. But maybe you’ll be tempted to change your plans for tonight. You only know half of what’s going on; I need to fill you in on the other half, then you can make a decision. So take your time reading my letter. It won't distract you from your fun; in fact, it’s meant to give you options.
If you had opened your mind confidentially to me; if you had told me the part of your secrets you left me to guess at, I should with my zeal, and less awkwardness, have smoothed the path of your progression. But let us set out from this point. Whatever resolution you take would, at worst, be the summit of good fortune to any one else.
If you had shared your thoughts with me openly, if you had revealed the secrets you left me to figure out, I could have eagerly and more smoothly helped you along your way. But let's start from here. Whatever decision you make would, at the very least, be a stroke of good luck for anyone else.
You have a rendezvous for to-night: have you not? With a charming woman, whom you adore? For at your age, where is the woman one does not adore for, at least, the first eight days? The field of action should also add greatly to your enjoyment—A delicious little villa, which was taken for you only, must embellish voluptuousness with the charms of mysteriousness and liberty. All is agreed on: you are expected; and you are inflamed with desire to be there! All this we both know, though you told me nothing of it. Now I will tell you what you do not know; but you must be told.
You have a date tonight, right? With a lovely woman you’re crazy about? Because at your age, isn’t there a woman you don’t fall for, at least for the first week? The setting should definitely add to your enjoyment—a charming little villa, which was reserved just for you, must enhance the pleasure with the allure of mystery and freedom. Everything is set: they’re waiting for you, and you can’t wait to get there! We both know this, even if you didn’t share it with me. Now I’m going to tell you what you don’t know, but you need to hear it.
Since my return to Paris, I have been taken up with contriving the means of an interview between you and Mademoiselle de Volanges: I promised it; and when I last mentioned it to you, I had reason to expect from your answer, I may say, from your transports, I was exerting myself in your happiness. I could not succeed alone in this difficult undertaking: but after having settled every thing, I left the rest with your young mistress. She found resources in her affection, resources which escaped my experience; after all, to your great misfortune she has succeeded. She told me this evening, for these two days past all obstacles are removed, and your happiness depends on yourself alone.
Since I got back to Paris, I've been focused on figuring out how to arrange a meeting between you and Mademoiselle de Volanges. I promised I would do it, and when I last mentioned it to you, your enthusiastic reaction made me think I was working for your happiness. I couldn't manage this tricky situation on my own, but after sorting everything out, I left the rest to your young mistress. She found ways to make it work through her feelings, things I hadn't thought of; unfortunately for you, she has succeeded. She told me this evening that for the past two days, all obstacles have been cleared, and your happiness is now entirely in your hands.
She flattered herself, also, for those two days, to have been able to send you this news herself, and notwithstanding her mama’s absence you would have been admitted: but you never once showed yourself! and I must farther tell you, whether from reason or capriciousness, the little thing did not seem pleased at your want of assiduity. At last she found means to see me, and made me promise to deliver you the enclosed letter as soon as possible. From the eagerness she expressed, I would venture to lay a wager she gives you an assignation this night; however, I promised her, upon honour and friendship, you should have the tender summons in the course of the day, and neither can or will break my word.
She took pride in being able to share this news with you herself over those two days, and even though her mom wasn’t around, you would have been welcomed: but you never showed up! I should also mention that, whether for a good reason or simply out of whim, she didn’t seem happy about your lack of effort. Eventually, she found a way to see me and made me promise to get you the enclosed letter as soon as I could. From how eager she was, I’d bet she’s inviting you to meet tonight; however, I promised her, on my honor and in friendship, that you would receive the heartfelt invitation today, and I can’t and won’t go back on my word.
Now, young gentleman, how will you behave in this business? Placed between coquetry and love, pleasure and happiness, which will you choose? If I was writing to the Danceny of three months ago, or even the Danceny of a week past, certain of the emotions of his heart, I should be certain of his proceedings: but the Danceny of the day, carried away by women, hunting after intrigue, and, according to custom, a little profligate, will he prefer a timorous young girl, who has nothing but beauty innocence, and love, to the allurements of a common intriguer?
Now, young man, how are you going to handle this situation? Caught between flirting and love, pleasure and happiness, which will you pick? If I were writing to the Danceny of three months ago, or even the Danceny from a week ago, certain of his feelings, I would know what he would do: but today's Danceny, swept away by women, chasing after drama, and a bit reckless as usual, will he prefer a shy young girl who only has beauty, innocence, and love, over the temptations of an ordinary player?
For my part, my dear friend, I think, even in your new system, which, I confess, I am not much averse to, circumstances would decide the preference to the lover. First, it is an additional conquest, then the novelty is attracting, and the fear of losing the fruits of your addresses, by neglecting to gather them; for to take it in this point of view, it would really be an opportunity missed, which is not always to be regained, especially in a first weakness: often in this case, a moment of ill humour, a jealous suspicion, even less, may prevent the finest conquest. Sinking virtue will sometimes grasp at a twig; and once escaped, will be on its guard, and not easily surprised.
For my part, my dear friend, I believe that even in your new system, which I admit I don't completely object to, circumstances would still favor the lover. First, it’s an extra achievement; then the novelty is appealing, and there’s the fear of losing the rewards of your efforts if you neglect to pursue them. From this perspective, it really would be a missed opportunity, one that isn’t always easy to reclaim, especially in a first vulnerability. Often in this situation, a moment of bad mood, a jealous suspicion, or even less can spoil the best chance. A sinking virtue will sometimes grasp at a small hope; and once it slips away, it will be on alert and not easily caught off guard.
On the other hand, you hazard nothing; not even a rupture; at most, a little quarrel: then your purchase with a little trouble the pleasure of a reconciliation; for what other resource has a woman you have already enjoyed but compliance? What would she get by severity? The privation of pleasure, without profit, for her glory.
On the other hand, you risk nothing; not even a breakup; at most, a small argument: then with a little effort, you gain the joy of making up. What other option does a woman you’ve already been involved with have besides being agreeable? What does she achieve by being strict? Just missing out on pleasure, with no gain, all for her pride.
If, as I suppose, you make love your choice, which appears to me, also, that of reason, I think it would be more prudent not to send any apology for the disappointment of the rendezvous; leave her in expectancy; for if you venture to give a reason, she will, perhaps, be tempted to dive into the truth. Women are curious and obstinate. All may be discovered: I myself, you see, am now an example of this truth. But if you let her remain in hope, which will be supported by vanity, it will not be lost until a long time after the proper hour for information is over; then to-morrow you will have time to choose the insurmountable obstacle that detained you: you may have been sick, dead if necessary, or any thing else that has almost made you frantic, and all will be made up.
If, as I think, you choose love, which I believe is also the reasonable choice, it would be wiser not to send any apology for missing the meeting; just keep her waiting. If you try to explain, she might be tempted to dig for the truth. Women are curious and stubborn. Everything might come to light: I’m proof of that. But if you let her remain hopeful, which will be fueled by her vanity, that hope won't fade for a long time after the right moment to clarify has passed. Tomorrow, you can come up with any excuse to explain why you couldn’t make it: you could have been sick, dead if necessary, or anything else that could have driven you crazy, and everything will be fine.
But which ever side you incline to, I only beg you will inform me; and as I am totally unconcerned, I will always think you have done right. Adieu, my dear friend!
But whatever side you lean toward, I just ask that you let me know; and since I have no stake in this, I'll always believe you made the right choice. Goodbye, my dear friend!
All I have to add is, I regret M. de Tourvel. I am in a state of desperation at being separated from her; and I would lay down one half my life, to devote the other to her. Ah! believe me, there is no felicity but in love.
All I want to say is that I regret M. de Tourvel. I'm completely heartbroken over being apart from her, and I would give up half my life just to spend the other half with her. Ah! Trust me, there is no happiness outside of love.
Paris, Dec. 5, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 5, 1917—.
LETTER CLVI.
CECILIA VOLANGES to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
Cecilia Volanges to the Chevalier Danceny.
(Annexed to the former.)
(Annexed to the previous.)
How happens it, my dear friend, I no longer see you; although I never cease wishing for it? Your inclinations then, are no longer like mine! Ah, it is now I am truly sorrowful! More so, than when we were totally separate. The affliction I was used to receive from others, now proceeds from you, which is more insupportable.
How is it, my dear friend, that I no longer see you, even though I always wish I could? It seems your feelings are no longer the same as mine! Ah, I am truly sad now! More so than when we were completely apart. The grief I used to get from others now comes from you, and that is much worse.
For some days past, mama is never at home, and you know it—I flattered myself you would have taken the opportunity; but you do not at all think of me—I am very unhappy—How often have you told me, I did not love as much as you did—I was certain it was otherwise, and am now convinced. Had you called, you might have seen me; for I am not like you; I think of nothing but how to contrive to see you—You deserve I should not tell you all I have done: but I love you so much, and have so strong a desire to see you, I can’t help telling you, and then I shall see if you really love me.
For the past few days, mom hasn’t been home, and you know it—I hoped you would take the chance to come by; but you don’t think about me at all—I’m really unhappy—How many times have you told me that I didn’t love as much as you did—I was sure it was the other way around, and now I’m convinced. If you had visited, you could have seen me; because I’m not like you; all I think about is how to find a way to see you—You probably think I shouldn’t tell you everything I’ve done: but I love you so much, and I really want to see you, I can’t help but tell you, and then I’ll see if you actually love me.
I have secured the porter, and he has promised every time you come no one shall see you; and we may confide in him, for he is a very honest man. There is then no other difficulty to prevent any one in the house seeing you, and that will be very easy to do; it is only to come at night; then there will be no danger at all—for since mama goes out every day, she always goes to bed at eleven; so that we shall have a great deal of time.
I’ve arranged for the porter, and he has promised that no one will see you whenever you come by; we can trust him because he’s a very honest guy. So, there’s no other problem to keep anyone in the house from seeing you, and it’ll be easy to manage; just come at night. There won’t be any risk at all—since mom goes out every day, she goes to bed at eleven, which gives us plenty of time.
The porter told me when you had a mind to come this way, instead of knocking at the door, you need only tap at the window, and he would open the door directly, and then you can readily find the back-stairs—As you will not have any light, I will leave my chamber door open, which will give you some little. You must take great care not to make any noise, particularly passing by mama’s little door. As to my waiting maid’s room, it is of no signification, for she has promised me not to be awake; and she is also a very good girl! When you are going away it will be the same thing—Now we shall see whether you will come.
The porter told me that when you want to come this way, instead of knocking at the door, you just need to tap on the window, and he’ll open the door right away. Then you can easily find the back-stairs. Since you won't have any light, I’ll leave my chamber door open, which will give you a little bit of light. You have to be really careful not to make any noise, especially when passing by mom’s little door. As for my maid’s room, it doesn’t matter because she promised me she wouldn’t be awake, and she’s a really good girl! It’ll be the same when you leave—Now let’s see if you’ll come.
O, Lord! I don’t know why my heart beats so while I am writing to you! Is it the fore-runner of any misfortune, or is it the hope of seeing you that makes me thus? This I know, I never loved you so much, and never so much wished to tell you so. Come, then, my dear, dear friend, that I may a thousand times repeat I love you—I adore you, and never will love any but you.
O, Lord! I don't know why my heart races while I'm writing to you! Is it a sign of some bad news, or is it the hope of seeing you that makes me feel this way? What I do know is that I've never loved you this much, and I've never wanted to tell you this as much as I do now. Come, my dear, dear friend, so I can tell you a thousand times that I love you—I adore you, and I will never love anyone but you.
I found a method to inform M. de Valmont I wanted to see him, and had something to say to him; and as he is our very good friend, will come to-morrow certainly. I will beg of him to give you my letter immediately—That I shall expect you to-morrow night, and you will not fail to come, if you have not a mind to make your Cecilia very miserable.
I found a way to let M. de Valmont know that I want to see him and have something to discuss. Since he's a good friend of ours, he’ll definitely come tomorrow. I'll ask him to give you my letter right away—that I’ll be expecting you tomorrow night, and you better not miss it, or you’ll make your Cecilia very unhappy.
Adieu, my dear friend! I embrace you with all my heart.
Goodbye, my dear friend! I hug you with all my heart.
Paris, Dec. 4, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 4, 17–.
LETTER CLVII.
The CHEVALIER DANCENY to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The Chevalier Danceny to the Viscount de Valmont.
Doubt neither the emotions of my heart, or my proceedings, my dear Viscount—Is it possible I could resist a wish of my Cecilia’s? Ah! it is she, and she alone, I will ever love! Her openness, her tenderness, have fixed such a spell over me, that nothing can ever efface, although I have been weak enough to suffer a distraction. Imperceptibly, I may say, engaged in another adventure, the remembrance of Cecilia has disturbed me in the tenderest moments; and perhaps my heart never rendered her a more faithful homage, than at the instant I was unfaithful to her. However, my dear friend, let us spare her delicacy, and hide my fault; not to deceive, but only not to afflict her. Cecilia’s happiness is the most ardent wish of my heart; and I should never forgive myself a fault which should cost her a tear.
Doubt neither the feelings in my heart nor my actions, my dear Viscount—Is it possible for me to ignore a wish from my Cecilia? Ah! It’s her, and only her, that I will ever love! Her openness and tenderness have cast a spell over me that nothing can ever erase, even though I've been foolish enough to be distracted. Gradually, I found myself caught up in another situation, yet thoughts of Cecilia have troubled me during the sweetest moments; perhaps my heart has never honored her more faithfully than when I was unfaithful to her. However, my dear friend, let’s protect her feelings and keep my mistake hidden; not to deceive, but just to spare her distress. Cecilia’s happiness is my deepest desire, and I could never forgive myself for a mistake that would bring her to tears.
I feel I deserved the banter you pass upon me, relative to what you call my new system: but I beg you will be assured, I am not led by them at this time; I am resolved to prove it to-morrow—I will go and accuse myself even to her who has been the cause and partner of my error—I will tell her; “read my heart; there you will see the tenderest friendship; friendship united to desire so much resembles love! We have both been deceived; but although liable to error, I am incapable of deceit.” I know my friend well; she has probity, and is gentle; she will do more than pardon, she will approve my conduct; she has often reproached herself for having betrayed friendship: her delicacy has often alarmed her love: more considerate than me, she will strengthen my mind with those useful apprehensions which I rashly endeavoured to stifle in hers—I shall owe my reformation to her, and my felicity to you. O, my friends! partake my gratitude: the idea of being indebted to you for my happiness, augments its value.
I feel I deserve the teasing you give me about what you call my new system, but please know that I’m not being swayed by it right now; I’m determined to prove that tomorrow—I’ll go and confess even to her who’s been the reason and partner in my mistake—I’ll tell her, “Look into my heart; there you’ll see the deepest friendship; friendship mixed with desire looks so much like love! We’ve both been misled; but even though I’m prone to mistakes, I’m not capable of deceit.” I know my friend well; she has integrity and is kind; she will do more than forgive me, she will understand my actions; she’s often criticized herself for betraying our friendship: her sensitivity has often worried her love: more thoughtful than I am, she will strengthen my resolve with those important realizations that I foolishly tried to suppress in her—I will owe my growth to her, and my happiness to you. Oh, my friends! Share in my gratitude: the thought of being indebted to you for my happiness makes its value even greater.
Adieu, my dear Viscount! the excess of my joy does not prevent me from thinking and sharing your troubles. Why can I not serve you? M. de Tourvel still remains inexorable then! It is said she is very ill—May she at once recover health and condescension, and for ever make you happy! They are the vows of friendship; and I dare hope will be granted by love.
Goodbye, my dear Viscount! My overwhelming joy doesn’t stop me from thinking about and sharing your troubles. Why can’t I help you? Is M. de Tourvel still being so unyielding? I’ve heard she’s quite sick—May she recover her health and her kindness quickly, and make you happy forever! These are the wishes of a friend; and I dare to hope that love will grant them.
I would write some time longer, but time presses, and perhaps Cecilia already expects me.
I would write a little longer, but I'm running out of time, and Cecilia might already be waiting for me.
Paris, Dec. 5, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 5, 1917—.
LETTER CLVIII.
The VISCOUNT DE VALMONT to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
The Viscount Valmont to the MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL.
Well, Marchioness, how are you after the pleasures of last night? Are you not a little fatigued? You must acknowledge Danceny is a charming fellow! That lad is a prodigy! You did not expect such things from him; is it not true? I must do myself justice; such a rival deserved I should be sacrificed to him. Seriously he has a number of good qualities! So much love, so much constancy, so much delicacy! Ah! if ever he loves you as he does his Cecilia, you will have no occasion to dread being rivalled; he has proved it this night. Perhaps through dint of coquetry, another woman may entice him for a short time; a young man hardly knows how to resist incitements; but you see a single word from the beloved object is sufficient to dissipate the illusion; so that there is nothing wanting to complete your happiness, but being that beloved object.
Well, Marchioness, how are you feeling after last night’s fun? Are you a bit tired? You have to admit Danceny is a charming guy! That guy is amazing! You didn't expect that from him, did you? I have to give myself some credit; such a rival deserves to have me sacrificed to him. Seriously, he has a lot of great qualities! So much love, so much loyalty, so much finesse! Ah! if he ever loves you as much as he loves his Cecilia, you won’t have to worry about competition; he proved that tonight. Maybe another woman might distract him for a little while through flirtation; a young man hardly knows how to resist temptation; but you see, just a single word from the person he loves is enough to break that spell; so all that’s missing for your happiness is being that special someone.
Certainly you will not be mistaken; you have such exquisite feeling it is not to be apprehended: yet the friendship that unites us, as sincere on my side as acknowledged on yours, made me wish you should experience the proof of this night; it is an effort of my zeal—It has succeeded—But no acknowledgements—it is not worth while—nothing more easy.
Certainly, you won't be wrong; you have such a keen sense that it’s hard to miss: but the friendship between us, as genuine on my part as it is recognized on yours, made me want you to feel the impact of this night; it’s a sign of my enthusiasm—It has worked—we need not acknowledge it—it’s not necessary—nothing easier.
But to the point; what did it cost me? Why a slight sacrifice, and a little address. I consented to share with the young man the favours of his mistress; but he had as great a right to them as I had, and I was not in the least uneasy about them. The letter the young creature wrote him, I dictated; but it was only to gain a little time, as we could employ it to so much better purpose. What I wrote with it was nothing, almost nothing. Some few friendly reflections to direct the new lover; but upon honour they were useless—To tell the truth, he did not hesitate a moment. Moreover, he is to wait on you to-day to relate all; and it certainly will give you great pleasure! He will tell you, read my heart, so he writes me; and you see that I will settle every thing. I hope that in reading what he pleases, you will also perhaps read, that such young lovers are dangerous—and also, that it is better to have me for a friend than an enemy.
But let's get to the point; what did it cost me? Just a small sacrifice and a bit of finesse. I agreed to share the affection of his mistress with the young man; but he had just as much right to her as I did, and I wasn't worried about it at all. The letter the young woman wrote to him was dictated by me; it was just to buy us a little time, which we could use for so much better purposes. What I wrote with it was almost nothing. A few friendly thoughts to guide the new lover, but honestly, they were pointless—To be truthful, he didn't hesitate for a second. Besides, he’s coming to see you today to tell you everything; it will surely make you very happy! He’ll say, read my heart, that’s what he wrote to me; and you can see that I’ll sort everything out. I hope that while reading what he wants, you’ll maybe also recognize that young lovers can be dangerous—and that it’s better to have me as a friend than as an enemy.
Paris, Dec. 6, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 6, '17—.
LETTER CLIX.
The MARCHIONESS DE MERTEUIL to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
The Marchioness de Merteuil to the Viscount Valmont.
I do not like to have scurvy jests added to bad actions; it is not agreeable to my taste or manner. When I have cause of complaint against a person, I do not ridicule, I do better; I take revenge. However well pleased you may be with yourself now, do not forget it is not the first time you have applauded yourself beforehand; and singular, in the hope of a triumph that would escape from you, at the instant you was congratulating yourself on it. Adieu.
I don’t like to have sarcastic jokes added to bad actions; it’s not my style or taste. When I have a reason to be upset with someone, I don’t mock them, I do something better: I get back at them. No matter how pleased you are with yourself right now, don’t forget this isn’t the first time you’ve congratulated yourself in advance; it’s unusual, in hopes of a victory that slipped away just when you were patting yourself on the back for it. Goodbye.
Paris, Dec. 6, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 6, 1717—.
LETTER CLX.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
Madame de Volanges to Madame de Rosemonde.
I write this from the chamber of your unhappy friend, whose state is pretty much the same: there is to be a consultation held this afternoon, of four physicians—I need not tell you this resource is oftener a proof of the danger than the means of relief.
I’m writing this from the room of your unhappy friend, whose situation is about the same: there’s going to be a meeting this afternoon with four doctors—I don’t need to tell you that this usually shows how serious things are rather than being a real way to get better.
However, it seems her head is something better since last night—her waiting maid told me this morning, her mistress ordered her to be called about twelve: she desired they should be left alone, and dictated a pretty long letter—Julie adds, while she was folding it, Madame Tourvel was attacked with her delirium, so that the girl did not know who to direct it to. I was at first surprised the letter itself was not sufficient to inform her; but telling me she was afraid of committing a mistake, and that her mistress had ordered her to send it away immediately, I took it upon me to open it.
However, it seems her mindset is much better since last night—her maid told me this morning that her mistress asked to be called around twelve: she wanted to be left alone and dictated a fairly long letter. Julie adds that while she was folding it, Madame Tourvel experienced her delirium, so the girl didn’t know who to address it to. I was initially surprised that the letter itself wasn't enough to inform her; but when she told me she was worried about making a mistake and that her mistress had instructed her to send it right away, I decided to open it myself.
There I found the enclosed writing, which is certainly not addressed to any body, being addressed to too many—Yet, I believe, our unhappy friend at first intended it for M. de Valmont, but gave way imperceptibly, to her disordered ideas. However, I thought it ought not to be sent to any one—I send it you, as you will see better than I can tell you, the thoughts that engage the head of our patient. Whilst she continues so intensely affected, I shall have very little hopes—the body seldom recovers when the mind is so agitated.
There I found the enclosed writing, which is clearly not directed to anyone specific, as it seems to be aimed at too many people. Still, I think our troubled friend initially meant it for M. de Valmont, but gradually lost focus due to her confused thoughts. However, I felt it shouldn't be sent to anyone. I'm sending it to you, as you'll understand better than I can explain what’s going on in our patient’s mind. While she remains so deeply affected, I don’t have much hope—the body rarely recovers when the mind is this unsettled.
Adieu, my dear and worthy friend! I am happy you are far from the dismal spectacle I have incessantly before my eyes.
Goodbye, my dear and valued friend! I'm glad you are away from the gloomy sight that I constantly see.
Paris, Dec. 6, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 6, 1717—.
LETTER CLXI.
The Presidente DE TOURVEL.
The President DE TOURVEL.
(Dictated by her, and wrote by her waiting maid.)
(Written by her, as dictated by her maid.)
Cruel and mischievous being! will thou never be tired persecuting me? Is it not enough to have tormented, degraded, abased? Will thou then rob me of the peaceful tomb? In the gloom of this abode, where shame has drove me to bury myself, are my sufferings to have no respite; is hope to be for ever banished? I do not require a favour I am undeserving of: I shall suffer without complaint, if my sufferings do not exceed my strength: but do not make my torments insupportable—Leave me my sorrows, and take away the cruel remembrance of the advantages I have lost. Although thou hast ravished them from me, do not again draw the afflicting picture of them—I was happy and innocent—I gazed on thee and lost my peace—I listened to thee and was guilty—Thou cause of all my crimes, who gave thee authority to punish them?
Cruel and wicked being! Will you ever get tired of tormenting me? Isn’t it enough to have tortured, humiliated, and debased me? Will you then take away my chance for a peaceful grave? In this dark place, where shame has driven me to hide, will my suffering never end? Is hope meant to be banished forever? I don’t want a favor I don’t deserve: I’ll endure without complaint as long as my pain doesn’t exceed my strength. But please don’t make my suffering unbearable—let me keep my grief, and take away the cruel reminders of what I’ve lost. Even though you’ve stolen them from me, don’t force me to relive the painful memory—I was happy and innocent—I looked at you and lost my peace—I listened to you and felt guilty—You, the cause of all my wrongs, who gave you the right to punish them?
Where are now the friends to whom I was dear? My misfortunes have frightened them—No one dares come near me—I am oppressed and left without relief—I die and no one weeps over me—I am debarred of every consolation—Pity stops on the brink of the abyss where the criminal plunges—remorse tears my heart, and its cries are not heard.
Where are the friends who once cared for me? My troubles have scared them away—No one dares to approach me—I’m overwhelmed and left with no support—I’m dying and no one cares—I've lost all comfort—Compassion hesitates at the edge of the pit where the guilty fall—regret tears at my heart, and no one hears its cries.
And thou who I have injured; thou, whose esteem adds to my torment—thou who only hast a right to revenge; why art thou far from me? Come, punish a faithless woman—Let me suffer the tortures I deserve—I should have already bowed to thy vengeance, but wanted courage to inform thee of thy shame; it was not dissimulation, it was respect. Let this letter at least acquaint thee with my repentance. Heaven has taken thy cause in hand, to punish an injury to which thou wast a stranger—It was heaven tied my tongue—It was heaven prevented my design, lest you should pardon a crime it was resolved to punish—It snatched me from thy commiseration, which would have opposed its judgment.
And you, whom I have hurt; you, whose opinion only adds to my pain—you, who have the right to take revenge; why are you so far away from me? Come, punish a disloyal woman—Let me feel the suffering I deserve—I should have already submitted to your wrath, but I lacked the courage to tell you about your humiliation; it wasn't deceit, it was respect. At least let this letter let you know about my regret. Heaven has taken up your cause to punish an injury you didn’t cause—It was heaven that kept me silent—It was heaven that stopped my plans so you wouldn’t forgive a wrongdoing it was determined to punish—It pulled me away from your compassion, which would have gone against its judgment.
But unmerciful in its vengeance, it delivered me up to him who ruined me; at once to make me suffer for him and by him. In vain I strive to fly from him; still he follows me—he is there; incessantly he besets me—How different from himself! His eyes show nothing but hatred and contempt—His lips utter insult and reproach—His arms surround me only to destroy me—Is there no one will save me from his savage rage?
But merciless in its revenge, it handed me over to the one who destroyed me; forcing me to suffer for and because of him. I try in vain to escape from him; still, he follows me—he's always there; constantly he torments me—How different from how he used to be! His eyes reveal nothing but hatred and disdain—His lips spit insults and blame—His arms clutch me only to crush me—Is there no one who can save me from his brutal fury?
How! It is he! I am not deceiv’d; it is he I see again—Oh, my lovely friend! receive me in thy tender arms; hide me in thy bosom! It is thee; yes, it is thyself—What fatal illusion deceived me? Ah, how have I suffered during thy absence—Let us part no more: let us never part. Let me breathe—Feel my heart, how it beats! Ah! it is no longer with fear, it is the soft emotion of love; why refuse my tender caresses? Turn thy languishing eyes towards me—What are those bands you want to break? Why those solemn preparations for death? What can thus alter thy countenance? Leave me! I shudder! O, God! This monster again! My dear friends, do not abandon me—You that wanted me to avoid him; help me to resist him—And you more lenient, who promised to soften my sorrows, why do not you come to me? Where are you both? If I must no longer see you, at least answer this letter, let me hear you still love me.
How! It’s him! I’m not mistaken; it’s really him I see again—Oh, my dear friend! Hold me in your loving arms; hide me in your embrace! It’s you; yes, it’s really you—What terrible illusion tricked me? Ah, how I’ve suffered during your absence—Let’s not part again: let’s never part. Let me breathe—Feel my heart, how it beats! Ah! It’s no longer with fear; it’s the gentle feeling of love; why refuse my sweet touches? Turn your yearning eyes towards me—What are those bonds you want to break? Why those serious preparations for death? What has changed your expression? Leave me! I’m shaking! Oh, God! This monster again! My dear friends, don’t abandon me—You who wanted me to stay away from him; help me resist him—And you, kinder one, who promised to ease my pain, why don’t you come to me? Where are you both? If I can’t see you anymore, at least reply to this letter; let me know you still love me.
Leave me, then, cruel man! What new transport inspires thee? Art thou afraid a soft sentiment should invade me? thou redoublest my torments—You will force me to hate you—O, how painful is hatred! how it corrodes the heart from whence it is distilled! Why will you persecute me? What can you have more to say to me? Have you not made it impossible for me either to hear or answer you. Farewell.
Leave me, then, cruel man! What new thrill drives you? Are you afraid a gentle feeling might take over me? You only increase my suffering—You will make me hate you—Oh, how painful is hatred! How it eats away at the heart from which it comes! Why do you insist on tormenting me? What more could you possibly want to say to me? Haven't you made it impossible for me to hear or respond to you? Goodbye.
Paris, Dec. 6, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 6, 1717—.
LETTER CLXII.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
CHEVALIER DANCENY to the VISCOUNT DE VALMONT.
I am informed, Sir, of your behaviour towards me—I also know that after having basely sported with me, you have dared to applaud yourself and brag of it—The proof of your treachery I have seen under your hand—I cannot help acknowledging my heart was pierced, and I felt some shame at having myself so much assisted in the odious abuse you made of my blind confidence: still I do not envy you this shameful advantage—I am only curious to know, whether you will equally preserve them all over me—This I shall be informed of, if, as I hope, you will be to-morrow morning, between eight and nine, at the gate of the wood of Vincennes, village of St. Maude. I will take care to provide every thing necessary for the eclaircissement, which remains for me to take with you.
I'm aware, Sir, of how you've treated me—I also know that after you toyed with me, you've had the audacity to congratulate yourself and boast about it—I've seen the evidence of your betrayal in your own writing—I can't deny that my heart was hurt, and I felt some shame for having been so naive and trusting in the disgusting way you exploited my blind confidence: still, I don't envy you this shameful advantage—I’m just curious to know if you'll continue to hold it over me—I'll find out if, as I hope, you'll be tomorrow morning, between eight and nine, at the gate of the Vincennes woods, by the village of St. Maude. I'll ensure everything needed for our clarification is taken care of, which I still need to sort out with you.
The Chevalier Danceny.
Paris, Dec. 6, at night, 17—.
The Chevalier Danceny.
Paris, Dec. 6, at night, 17—.
LETTER CLXIII.
M. BERTRAND to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
M. BERTRAND to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
Madam,
Ma'am,
It is with the greatest grief I find myself obliged to fulfil my duty, by giving you an intelligence that will cause you so much affliction. Permit me first to recommend the exertion of that pious resignation which every one has so often admired in you, and which alone can support us among the evils of this miserable life.
It is with deep sorrow that I feel I must share news that will bring you great pain. First, allow me to suggest that you draw on the strength of that admirable acceptance we've often seen in you—a strength that can help us endure the hardships of this difficult life.
M. your nephew—Good God! must I afflict so respectable a lady! M. your nephew, had the misfortune to fall this morning in a duel he fought with M. the Chevalier Danceny. I am entirely unacquainted with the cause of the quarrel: but it appears, by the note which I found in M. the Viscount’s pocket, and which I have the honour to send you; it appears, I say, he was not the aggressor: and yet heaven permitted him to fall!
M. your nephew—Oh my God! Must I disturb such an esteemed lady! M. your nephew had the unfortunate luck to be injured this morning in a duel with M. the Chevalier Danceny. I have no idea what caused the conflict, but it seems, from the note I found in M. the Viscount’s pocket, which I have the honor to send you, that he was not the one who started it; and yet, heaven allowed him to be defeated!
I was at M. the Viscount’s, waiting for him, at the very time he was brought back to his hotel. You cannot conceive the shock I received, seeing M. your nephew brought in by two of his servants, bathed in blood. He had two thrusts of a sword in his body, and was very weak. M. Danceny was also there, and even wept. Ah! certainly he ought to weep—it is a pretty time to cry when one has been the cause of an irreparable misfortune!
I was at the Viscount M.'s place, waiting for him, right when he was brought back to his hotel. You can’t imagine the shock I felt seeing your nephew being carried in by two of his servants, covered in blood. He had two sword wounds in his body and was incredibly weak. M. Danceny was there too and he was even crying. Of course, he should cry—it’s a perfect moment to weep when you've caused an irreversible tragedy!
For my part, I could not contain myself; and notwithstanding my insignificancy, I could not help telling him my thoughts. But it was then M. the Viscount showed himself truly great: he commanded me to hold my tongue; and he even took his murderer by the hand, called him his friend, embraced him before us three, and said to us, “I command you to have for this gentleman all the respect that is due to a brave and gallant man.” Moreover, he ordered to be given him, in my presence, some very voluminous papers, that I know nothing of, but which I know he set a value on. Then he desired they should be left together for a little while; however, I sent immediately for assistance, as well spiritual as temporal: but, alas! the evil was without remedy. In less than half an hour after, M. the Viscount was insensible. He could only receive the extreme unction; and the ceremony was scarcely over, before he breathed his last.
I couldn't help myself, and despite feeling small, I had to share my thoughts with him. But that's when the Viscount showed his true greatness: he told me to be quiet, and he even took the hand of his murderer, called him his friend, embraced him in front of the three of us, and said, “I expect you to treat this gentleman with all the respect a brave and noble man deserves.” He also had some hefty papers given to him in my presence, which I knew nothing about, but I could tell he valued them. Then he asked to be left alone with the man for a little while; however, I immediately called for help, both spiritual and physical. But, unfortunately, it was too late. In less than half an hour, the Viscount was unconscious. He could only receive the last rites, and as soon as the ceremony was finished, he passed away.
Great God! when I received in my arms at his birth this precious prop of so illustrious a family, could I ever have thought he would expire in my arms, and that I should deplore his death! A death so sudden, and so unfortunate—my tears flow in spite of me. I ask pardon, Madam, for taking the liberty of mingling my sorrows with yours: but in every station, tenderness and sensibility will operate; and I should be very ungrateful if I did not lament, during my life, a nobleman who was so kind, and placed such a confidence in me.
Great God! When I first held this precious heir of such a distinguished family at his birth, could I have ever imagined that he would die in my arms, leaving me to mourn his loss? A death so sudden and tragic—my tears flow against my will. I apologize, Madam, for sharing my grief with yours, but in every role, compassion and sensitivity come into play; and I would be very ungrateful if I did not mourn, for the rest of my days, a nobleman who was so kind and who trusted me so deeply.
To-morrow, when the body will be removed, I will order every thing to be sealed, and you may depend on my care entirely in every thing. I need not inform you, Madam, this unhappy event puts an end to the entail, and leaves you entirely at liberty. If I can be of any service, I beg, Madam, you will give me your orders, which will be executed with the greatest zeal and utmost punctuality.
Tomorrow, when the body is taken away, I will arrange for everything to be sealed, and you can rely completely on my support for everything. I don't need to tell you, Madam, that this unfortunate event ends the entail and frees you entirely. If I can help in any way, please, Madam, give me your instructions, and I will carry them out with the utmost enthusiasm and punctuality.
I am, with the most profound respect, Madam, your most humble Bertrand.
I am, with the deepest respect, Madam, your most humble Bertrand.
Paris, Dec. 7, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 7, 1717—.
LETTER CLXIV.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE to M. BERTRAND.
Madame de Rosemonde to M. Bertrand.
I this instant received your letter, my dear Bertrand, informing me of the shocking event, to which my nephew is become the unhappy victim—yes, undoubtedly, I shall have orders to give you; and it is they only can take off my thoughts a while from this afflicting intelligence.
I just got your letter, my dear Bertrand, telling me about the shocking event that my nephew has unfortunately fallen victim to—yes, for sure, I will have orders to give you; and it's those alone that can distract me for a bit from this distressing news.
M. Danceny’s challenge, which you sent me, is a convincing proof he was the aggressor; my intention therefore is, you should commence a prosecution in my name: for although my nephew, in compliance with his natural generosity, may have pardoned his enemy, his murderer, I ought to avenge at once his death, religion, and humanity. One cannot excite too much the severity of the laws against those remains of barbarism which still infect our morals; and I do not believe, in such cases, the forgiveness of injuries can be commanded us; therefore I expect you will prosecute this business with all that zeal and activity of which I know you so capable, and which you owe to my nephew’s memory.
M. Danceny’s challenge, which you sent me, clearly shows he was the one who started this fight; so, I want you to begin legal action in my name. Even though my nephew, being naturally generous, may have forgiven his enemy, his killer, I need to seek justice for his death, faith, and humanity. We cannot be too harsh with the laws against the remnants of barbarism that still taint our morals; and I don’t think we can be required to forgive injuries in such cases. So, I expect you to pursue this matter with all the passion and energy I know you have, and which you owe to my nephew’s memory.
But first, take care to confer with M. the President —— from me. I do not write to him, as I am so overwhelmed with grief. You will, therefore, apologise for me, and communicate this to him.
But first, please make sure to talk to Mr. President —— from me. I can't write to him because I'm just so overwhelmed with grief. So, you'll need to apologize for me and let him know this.
Adieu, my dear Bertrand! I am well pleased with your conduct, and thank you for your good inclinations, and am your sincere friend.
Adieu, my dear Bertrand! I'm very pleased with how you've behaved, and I appreciate your good intentions. I'm your genuine friend.
Castle of ——, Dec. 8, 17—.
Castle of ——, Dec. 8, 17—.
LETTER CLXV.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
Madame de Volanges to Madame de Rosemonde.
I know you are already informed, my dear and worthy friend, of the loss you have sustained. I know the tender affection you had for M. de Valmont, and I most sincerely partake of the affliction you must endure. I am truly grieved to add new griefs to those you have already experienced: but, alas! nothing now can be done for our unhappy friend but to deplore her fate. We lost her at eleven o’clock last night. By a fatality linked to her fate, and which seemed to baffle all human prudence, this short interval that she survived M. de Valmont was sufficient to inform her of his death, and, as she said herself, not be able to sink under the weight of her miseries until their measure was filled.
I know you're already aware, my dear and valued friend, of the loss you've suffered. I'm aware of the deep affection you had for M. de Valmont, and I sincerely share in the sadness you must feel. I'm truly sorry to add more sorrow to what you've already gone through: but, unfortunately, nothing can be done for our unfortunate friend now except to mourn her fate. We lost her at eleven o’clock last night. By a cruel twist of fate, which seemed to defy all human reasoning, the short time she lived after M. de Valmont’s passing was enough for her to learn about his death, and, as she herself said, she couldn’t bear the weight of her pain until it was complete.
You already know, that for these two days she was insensible;—yesterday morning, when her physician came, and we drew near her bed, she did not know either of us, and we could not obtain a word or a sign. We were scarcely returned to the fire, while the physician was relating to me the melancholy event of M. de Valmont’s death, but this unhappy woman recovered her reason: whether nature alone produced this revolution, or whether it was occasioned by the frequent repetition of the words, M. de Valmont and death, which may have recalled the only ideas with which her mind had been so long engaged.
You already know that for these two days she was unresponsive. Yesterday morning, when her doctor came and we approached her bedside, she didn’t recognize either of us, and we couldn’t get a word or any sign from her. We had barely settled back by the fire when the doctor was telling me the sad news about M. de Valmont’s death, and suddenly this unfortunate woman regained her senses. It's uncertain whether this change was due to nature alone or if it was triggered by her hearing the words M. de Valmont and death repeated so often, which may have brought back the only thoughts her mind had been occupied with for so long.
Be it what it may, she suddenly drew back the curtain of the bed, exclaiming, “What! What do you say? M. de Valmont dead!” I hoped to make her believe she was mistaken. At first I endeavoured to persuade her she did not hear well: but all in vain; for she insisted the physician should begin the cruel tale again;—on my endeavouring to dissuade her from it, she called me to her, saying, in a low voice, “Why will you deceive me? Was he not already dead to me?” I then was forced to acquiesce.
Be that as it may, she suddenly pulled back the bed curtain, exclaiming, “What! What do you mean? M. de Valmont is dead!” I hoped to convince her she was mistaken. At first, I tried to persuade her that she hadn’t heard correctly, but it was all in vain; she insisted the doctor should start the painful story again. When I tried to talk her out of it, she called me over and said in a low voice, “Why are you lying to me? Wasn’t he already dead to me?” I then had no choice but to agree.
Our unhappy friend appeared at first to listen to the story with great tranquillity: but she soon interrupted him, saying, “Enough; I know enough:” and immediately ordered her curtains to be closed—When the physician went to perform the duties of his office, she never would suffer him to come near her.
Our unhappy friend initially seemed to listen to the story with great calmness: but she quickly interrupted him, saying, “That's enough; I know enough,” and immediately had her curtains closed. When the doctor came to do his duty, she never let him come near her.
As soon as he was gone, she also sent away her nurse and her waiting maid. When we were alone, she requested I would assist her to kneel on her bed, and support her. Then she remained some time silent;—and without any other expression than her tears, which flowed most abundantly, joining her hands, and raising them towards heaven; “Almighty God!” said she in a weak but fervent tone, “I submit to thy just judgment: but in thy mercy forgive Valmont. Let not my misfortunes, which I acknowledge, be laid to his charge, and I shall bless thy mercy!” I could not avoid, my dear and worthy friend, going into those digressions on a subject I am sensible must renew and aggravate your sorrows, as I am certain this prayer of Madame de Tourvel’s will give you much consolation.
As soon as he left, she sent away her nurse and her maid. When we were alone, she asked me to help her kneel on her bed and support her. Then she stayed quiet for a while;—and without any words other than her tears, which flowed abundantly, she joined her hands and raised them towards heaven; “Almighty God!” she said in a weak but passionate voice, “I accept your just judgment: but in your mercy, forgive Valmont. Don’t let my misfortunes, which I acknowledge, be blamed on him, and I will bless your mercy!” I couldn’t help, my dear and valued friend, going into these digressions on a topic I know must deepen your sorrow, as I am sure this prayer of Madame de Tourvel’s will bring you some comfort.
After our friend had uttered those few words she fell in my arms; and she was scarcely settled in her bed, when she fainted for a considerable time, and recovered with the usual helps. As soon as she came to herself, she begged I would send for Father Anselmus, saying, “He is the only physician I have now occasion for. I feel my miseries will soon be at end.” She complained of a great oppression, and spoke with great difficulty.
After our friend said those few words, she collapsed in my arms; as soon as she was settled in her bed, she fainted for quite a while and came to with the usual assistance. Once she recovered, she asked me to call Father Anselmus, saying, “He’s the only doctor I need right now. I can feel that my suffering will soon be over.” She mentioned feeling a heavy weight and spoke with great difficulty.
Some time after, she ordered her waiting maid to give me a little box, which I send you, that contains papers belonging to her, and charged me to send them to you immediately after her death.[1] Then she conversed about you, of your friendship for her, as much as her situation would permit, and with great tenderness.
Some time later, she asked her maid to give me a small box, which I’m sending you, that contains her papers, and she instructed me to send it to you right after her passing.[1] Then she talked about you and your friendship for her, as much as her condition allowed, with a lot of warmth.
Father Anselmus came about four o’clock, and stayed near an hour alone with her. When we returned, her countenance was calm and serene, but it was easily to be seen Father Anselmus had wept a great deal. He remained to assist at the last ceremonies of the church. This solemn and melancholy sight became more so by the contrast of the composed and settled resignation of the sick person, with the silent grief of the venerable confessor, who was dissolved in tears beside her. The afflicting scene became general, and she who we all deplored was the only one unmoved.
Father Anselmus arrived around four o'clock and spent nearly an hour alone with her. When we came back, her expression was calm and peaceful, but it was clear that Father Anselmus had cried a lot. He stayed to assist with the final church ceremonies. This solemn and sad sight was made even more poignant by the contrast between the sick person's composed acceptance and the silent sorrow of the elderly confessor, who was in tears beside her. The heartbreaking scene affected everyone, and the one we all mourned was the only one who remained unaffected.
The remainder of the day was spent in the usual prayers, which was now and then interrupted by the frequent faintings of the dear woman. At last, about eleven, she seemed more in pain, with great oppression. I put out my hand to feel her arm; she had still strength to place it on her heart; I could no longer feel it beat, and, indeed, our unhappy friend expired instantly.
The rest of the day was spent in the usual prayers, which were occasionally interrupted by the dear woman's frequent fainting spells. Finally, around eleven, she appeared to be in more pain and had a lot of pressure on her chest. I reached out to feel her arm; she still had the strength to place it on her heart; I could no longer feel it beating, and, in fact, our unfortunate friend passed away instantly.
You may remember, my dear friend, when you last came to town, about a year ago, chatting together about some people whose happiness then appeared to us more or less complete, we indulged ourselves in the thought of this same woman’s felicity, whose misfortune we now lament. Such an assemblage of virtues! so many attractions and accomplishments! so sweet, so amiable! a husband she loved, and by whom she was adored! a circle of friends, in whom she delighted, and was the delight! a figure, youth, fortune! so many united advantages are lost by one act of imprudence! O, Providence! how incomprehensible and adorable are thy decrees!—I fear I shall increase your sorrow by giving way to my own, and therefore will no longer dwell on the melancholy theme.
You might remember, my dear friend, when you last visited the city about a year ago, we were chatting about some people whose happiness seemed pretty complete at the time. We entertained the idea of this same woman’s happiness that we now mourn. What an amazing mix of virtues! So many charms and talents! So sweet, so kind! A husband she loved, who adored her! A circle of friends that brought her joy, and who she brought joy to! Beauty, youth, wealth! So many combined advantages are lost due to one foolish mistake! Oh, Providence! How incomprehensible and wonderful are your plans!—I worry that I will only deepen your sadness by giving in to my own, so I will stop focusing on this sad topic.
My daughter is a little indisposed. On hearing from me this morning the sudden death of two persons of her acquaintance, she was taken ill, and I ordered her to be put to bed. I hope, however, this slight disorder will not be attended with any bad consequence. At her age they are not accustomed to such chagrines, and they leave a more lively and stronger impression. This active sensibility is certainly a laudable quality. What we daily see ought to make us dread it. Adieu, my dear and worthy friend!
My daughter isn't feeling well. This morning, when I told her about the unexpected deaths of two people she knew, she became ill, so I had her go to bed. I hope this minor illness won't lead to anything serious. At her age, they're not used to such distress, and it leaves a stronger impression on them. This intense sensitivity is definitely a commendable trait, but what we see every day should make us fear it. Goodbye, my dear and valued friend!
Paris, Dec. 9, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 9, 1917—.
LETTER CLXVI.
M. BERTRAND to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
M. BERTRAND to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
Madam,
Ma'am,
In consequence of the orders you honoured me with, I waited on M. the President de ——, and communicated your letter to him, informing him at the same time, as you desired, I should do nothing without his advice. This respectable magistrate commanded me to observe to you, the prosecution you intended against M. the Chevalier Danceny would equally affect the memory of Monsieur your nephew, and his honour would necessarily be tainted by the decree of the court; which would be, doubtless, a very great misfortune. His opinion is, then, that you do not make any stir about the matter: but, on the contrary, that you should endeavour as much as possible to prevent the public officers from taking cognisance of this unfortunate business, which has already made too much noise.
As a result of your request, I met with M. the President de —— and shared your letter with him. As you asked, I made it clear that I wouldn’t take any action without his advice. This respected official instructed me to inform you that the prosecution you planned against M. the Chevalier Danceny would also damage the memory of your nephew, and his reputation would inevitably suffer from the court's decision, which would be a great misfortune. His recommendation is that you should not pursue this matter any further; instead, you should try to prevent the public authorities from getting involved in this unfortunate situation, which has already attracted too much attention.
These observations, so replete with wisdom, oblige me to wait your farther orders.
These insightful observations make me feel compelled to wait for your further instructions.
Permit me, Madam, to request, when you honour me with them, you will mention a word concerning your state of health, which, I dread much, so many crosses have impaired.
Please, Madam, when you kindly write to me, could you say a little about how you are doing? I worry that so many hardships may have taken a toll on your health.
I hope you will pardon the liberty I take, as it proceeds from my zeal and attachment.
I hope you'll excuse me for taking this liberty, as it comes from my enthusiasm and affection.
I am, with great respect, Madam, your, &c.
Paris, Dec. 10, 17—.
I am, with great respect, Madam, yours sincerely, etc.
Paris, Dec. 10, 2017—.
LETTER CLXVII.
ANONYMOUS to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
ANONYMOUS to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
Sir,
Sir,
I have the honour to inform you, your late affair with M. the Viscount de Valmont was this morning much talked of among the King’s counsel within the bar, and that it is much to be feared the public officers will commence a prosecution. I thought this notice might be of service, either to set your friends at work, to stop the bad consequences, or, in case you could not succeed, to take every precaution for your personal security.
I have the honor to inform you that your recent involvement with M. the Viscount de Valmont was widely discussed among the King's advisors this morning, and it is feared that public officials will start a prosecution. I thought this notice might be helpful, either to motivate your friends to take action to prevent negative outcomes, or, if that doesn't work, to ensure you take every precaution for your personal safety.
If you would permit me to add a piece of advice, I think you would do well, for some time at least, not to appear so much in public as you have done for some days—Although the world generally have great indulgence for those kind of affairs, yet there is a respect due to the laws which ought to be observed.
If you would allow me to offer some advice, I think it would be wise for you, at least for a while, to avoid being in public as much as you have been lately—While people generally are quite forgiving of those situations, there is still a respect for the law that should be upheld.
This precaution appears to me the more necessary, that I recollect a Madame de Rosemonde, who, I am told, is M. de Valmont’s aunt, intended to prosecute you; if so, the courts could not refuse her petition: it would perhaps be proper application should be made to this lady.
This precaution seems even more important to me, as I remember that Madame de Rosemonde, who I hear is M. de Valmont’s aunt, planned to take legal action against you. If that’s the case, the courts wouldn’t be able to deny her request. It might be a good idea to reach out to this lady.
Particular reasons prevent me from signing this letter; but I hope, though ignorant from whom it comes, you will nevertheless do justice to the sentiment that has dictated it.
Particular reasons keep me from signing this letter; but I hope, even though I don’t know who it’s from, you will still appreciate the feelings that inspired it.
I have the honour to be, &c.
Paris, Dec. 10, 17—.
I am honored to be, etc.
Paris, Dec. 10, 1917—.
LETTER CLXVIII.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
There are, my dear and worthy friend, the strangest and most sad reports spread here, on account of Madam de Merteuil. I am certainly far from giving any credit to them; and I would venture to lay a wager, they are horrible slanders; but I know too well, how the most improbable wickedness readily gains credit; and how difficult it is to wipe away the impression they leave, not to be alarmed at those, though I think them so easy to be refuted. I wish, especially, they might be stopped in time, and before they spread abroad; but I did not know until late yesterday, the horrible things that are given out; and when I sent this morning to Madame de Merteuil’s, she was just then set out for the country for a couple of days—I could not learn where she was gone; her second woman, who I sent for, told me, her mistress had only given her orders to expect her on Thursday next; and none of her servants she left behind her knew any thing. I cannot even think where she can be; as I do not recollect any of her acquaintance who stay so late in the country.
There are some really strange and sad rumors going around here about Madam de Merteuil. I definitely don’t believe them, and I would bet they’re horrible lies, but I know just how easily the most unlikely evil can gain traction and how hard it is to shake off the impression they leave. It worries me, even though I think they’re easy to refute. I just wish we could put a stop to them before they spread further. I didn’t find out about the awful things being said until late yesterday, and when I checked in with Madame de Merteuil’s place this morning, I found out she had just left for the country for a couple of days—I didn’t find out where she went. I sent for her second maid, and she told me her mistress had only asked her to expect her back on Thursday. None of the servants left behind knew anything either. I can’t even guess where she might be since I can’t think of any of her friends who would stay out in the country this late.
However, you will be able, I hope, to procure for me, between this and her return, some eclaircissements that may be useful to her; for these odious stories are founded on circumstances attendant on the death of M. de Valmont, of which you will probably have been informed, if there be any truth in them; or you can at least readily receive information, which I particularly request you to do—This is what is published, or at least whispered as yet, but will not certainly fail to blaze out more.
However, I hope you can find me some clarifications before she comes back that might help her. These nasty rumors are based on the circumstances surrounding M. de Valmont's death, which you probably know about if there's any truth to them; or you can at least easily get more information, which I ask you to do. This is what’s been shared, or at least talked about for now, but it will definitely come out more publicly.
It is said the quarrel between M. de Valmont and Chevalier Danceny, is the work of Madame de Merteuil, who deceived them both; and, as it always happens, the rivals began by fighting, and did not come to an eclaircissement until after, which produced a sincere reconciliation: and in order to make M. de Merteuil known to Chevalier Danceny, and also in his own justification, M. de Valmont had added to his intelligence, a heap of letters, forming a regular correspondence which he had kept up with her; in which she relates, in the loosest manner, the most scandalous anecdotes of herself.
It’s said that the fight between M. de Valmont and Chevalier Danceny was arranged by Madame de Merteuil, who tricked them both. As usual, the rivals started by arguing and didn’t clarify things until later, which led to a sincere reconciliation. To introduce M. de Merteuil to Chevalier Danceny, and to justify himself, M. de Valmont added a bunch of letters to his message, which formed a complete correspondence he had maintained with her, where she casually shared the most scandalous stories about herself.
It is added, that Danceny in his first rage gave those letters to whoever had a mind to see them; and that now they are all over Paris—Two of them in particular, are quoted[1]; in one of which, she gives a full history of her life and principles, which are said to be the most shocking imaginable—the other contains an entire justification of M. de Prevan, whose story you may recollect, by the proofs it gives, that he did nothing but acquiesce in the most pointed advances M. de Merteuil made him, and the rendezvous agreed on with her.
It’s noted that in his initial anger, Danceny shared those letters with anyone who wanted to read them; now they have spread all over Paris. Two of them, in particular, are frequently referenced[1]; one of which provides a complete account of her life and beliefs, which are said to be incredibly shocking—the other fully defends M. de Prevan, whose story you might remember, by showing that he only went along with the bold advances M. de Merteuil made toward him and the meetings they arranged.
But I have fortunately the strongest reasons to believe those imputations as false as they are odious. First, we both know that M. de Valmont was not engaged about Madame de Merteuil; and I have all the reason in the world to think, Danceny was as far from thinking of her: so that I think it is demonstrable, that she could not be either the cause or object of the quarrel. Neither can I comprehend what interest M. de Merteuil could have, who is supposed to be combined with M. de Prevan, to act a part which must be very disagreeable, by the noise it would occasion, and might be very dangerous for her, because she would thereby make an irreconcileable enemy of a man who was in possession of a part of her secrets, and who had then many partizans.—Still it is observable, since that adventure, not a single voice has been raised in favour of Prevan, and that even there has not been the least objection made on his side since.
But I have solid reasons to believe those accusations are as false as they are offensive. First, we both know that M. de Valmont wasn't involved with Madame de Merteuil; and I have every reason to think that Danceny wasn't thinking about her either. So, I believe it's clear that she couldn't be the cause or target of the quarrel. I also can't understand what interest M. de Merteuil could have, as she is supposedly working with M. de Prevan, in playing a role that must be very unpleasant due to the fuss it would create, and could be quite risky for her, since it would turn her into an irreconcilable enemy of a man who knows some of her secrets and who had many supporters at the time. Still, it's noteworthy that since that incident, not a single voice has been raised in support of Prevan, and there hasn't been even the slightest objection from his side since.
Those reflections would induce me to suspect him to be the author of the reports that are now spread abroad, and to look on those enormities as the work of the revenge and hatred of a man who, finding himself lost in the opinion of the world, hopes, by such means, at least to raise doubts, and perhaps make a useful diversion in his favour; but whatever cause they may proceed from, the best way will be to destroy such abominable tales as soon as possible; they would have dropped of themselves, if it should happen, as is very probable, that M. de Valmont and Danceny did not speak to each other after their unhappy affair, and that there had been no papers given.
Those thoughts would make me suspect that he is behind the rumors now circulating and view those terrible actions as the result of the revenge and hatred of a man who, feeling lost in the eyes of society, hopes to create doubt and perhaps find a useful distraction for himself; but regardless of their origin, the best approach is to eliminate such disgusting stories as quickly as possible; they would have eventually faded away if, as seems likely, M. de Valmont and Danceny stopped talking after their unfortunate incident and no documents were exchanged.
Being impatient to be satisfied as to the truth of those facts, I sent this morning to M, Danceny’s; he is not in Paris either; his servants told my valet de chambre, he had set out last night, on some advice he had received yesterday, and the place of his residence was a secret; probably he dreads the consequence of his affair; it is only from you then, my dear and worthy friend, I can learn such interesting particulars, that may be necessary for M. de Merteuil—I renew my request, and beg you will send them to me as soon as possible.
Being eager to find out the truth about those facts, I sent someone to M. Danceny’s this morning; he’s not in Paris either. His servants told my valet that he left last night based on some advice he received yesterday, and his whereabouts are a secret. He’s probably worried about the consequences of his situation. So, it's only from you, my dear and valued friend, that I can learn such interesting details that might be important for M. de Merteuil. I'm repeating my request and kindly asking you to send them to me as soon as you can.
P. S. My daughter’s indisposition had no bad consequences. She presents her respects.
P.S. My daughter’s illness didn’t have any negative effects. She sends her regards.
Paris, Dec. 11, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 11, 1717—.
[1] Letters lxxxi and lxxxv.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_1__ and __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_2__.
LETTER CLXIX.
The CHEVALIER DANCENY to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
The Chevalier Danceny to Madame de Rosemonde.
Madam,
Ma'am,
You will perhaps think the step I now take very extraordinary; but I beseech you to hear before you condemn me, and do not look for either audacity or rashness, where there is nothing but respect and confidence. I will not dissemble the injury I have done you; and during my whole life I should never forgive myself, if I could for one moment think it had been possible for me to avoid it; I also beg, Madam, you will be persuaded, although I feel myself exempt from reproach, I am not exempt from sorrow; and I can with the greatest sincerity add, those I have caused you have a great share in those I feel. To believe in those sentiments which I now presume to assure you of, it will be enough you do yourself justice, and know, that without the honour of being known to you, yet I have that of knowing you.
You might find the step I'm about to take quite unusual; however, please hear me out before you judge, and don’t mistake my intentions for boldness or recklessness when they are truly just respect and trust. I won't hide the harm I’ve caused you; throughout my life, I would never forgive myself if I thought for even a moment that I could have prevented it. I also ask you, Madam, to understand that even though I feel I have no reason to blame myself, I am not free from sorrow; and I can sincerely say that the pain I've caused you contributes greatly to my own. To believe in the feelings I’m sharing with you now, it’s enough that you are fair to yourself and know that, even without the honor of being recognized by you, I have the honor of knowing you.
Still whilst I lament the fatality which has caused at once your grief and my misfortune, I am taught to believe, that totally taken up with a thirst for revenge, you sought means to satiate it even in the severity of the laws.
Still, while I mourn the tragedy that has brought you sorrow and me misfortune, I find myself convinced that you, consumed by a desire for revenge, sought ways to fulfill it, even through the harshness of the law.
Permit me first to observe on this subject, that here your grief deceives you; for my interest in this circumstance is so intimately linked with M. de Valmont’s, that his memory would be involved in the same sentence you would have excited against me. I should then reasonably suppose, Madam, I should rather expect assistance than obstacles from you, in the endeavours I should be obliged to make, that this unhappy event should remain buried in oblivion.
Let me first point out that in this case, your sorrow misleads you; my connection to this situation is so closely tied to M. de Valmont’s that any blame you’d cast at me would also reflect back on him. I would therefore think, Madam, that I could expect your support rather than hindrance in my efforts to keep this unfortunate event forgotten.
But this resource of complicity, which is equally favourable to the innocent and guilty, is not sufficient to satisfy my delicacy; in wishing to set you aside as a party, I call on you as my judge: the esteem of those I respect is too dear, to suffer me to lose yours without defending it, and I think I am furnished with the means.
But this resource of complicity, which benefits both the innocent and the guilty, isn't enough to satisfy my sense of delicacy; while I want to excuse you from being part of this, I'm appealing to you as my judge: the respect of those I admire matters too much for me to lose yours without defending it, and I believe I have the means to do so.
For if you will only agree, that revenge is permitted, or rather, that a man owes it to himself, when he is betrayed in his love, in his friendship, and still more, in his confidence. If you agree to this, the wrongs I have done will disappear: I do not ask you to believe what I say; but read, if you have the resolution, the deposit I put into your hands[1]; the number of original letters seem to authenticate those, of which there is only copies. Moreover, I received those letters, as I have the honour to transmit them to you, from M. de Valmont himself. I have not added to them, nor have I taken any from them but two letters, which I thought proper to publish.
For if you will just agree that revenge is acceptable, or rather, that a person owes it to themselves when they've been betrayed in love, friendship, and especially in trust. If you can accept this, the wrongs I've committed will fade away: I’m not asking you to just take my word for it; instead, read, if you have the courage, the evidence I’m giving you[1]; the number of original letters seems to confirm those, of which there are only copies. Furthermore, I received those letters, as I’m honored to share them with you, from M. de Valmont himself. I haven’t added anything to them, nor have I removed anything except two letters that I felt should be published.
The one was necessary to the mutual vengeance of M. de Valmont and myself, to which we had an equal right, and of which he expressly gave me a charge. I moreover thought, it would be doing an essential service to society, to unmask a woman so really dangerous as Madame de Merteuil is, and who, as you see, is the only, the true cause, of what happened between M. de Valmont and me.
The one was necessary for the shared revenge of M. de Valmont and me, which we both had the right to pursue, and he specifically entrusted me with the task. I also believed it would be a significant service to society to expose a woman as genuinely dangerous as Madame de Merteuil, who, as you can see, is the only real reason for what happened between M. de Valmont and me.
A sentiment of justice induced me to publish the second, for the justification of M. de Prevan, whom I scarcely know; but who did not in the least deserve the rigorous treatment he has met, nor the severity of the public opinion, still more formidable, under which he has languished so long, without being able to make any defence.
A sense of fairness pushed me to publish the second piece, to defend M. de Prevan, whom I barely know; however, he certainly did not deserve the harsh treatment he has received, nor the severe public opinion that has been even more daunting, as he has suffered for so long without being able to defend himself.
You will only find copies of those two letters, as I make it a point to keep the originals. I do not think I can put into safer hands a deposit, which, perhaps, I think of consequence to me not to be destroyed, but which I should be ashamed to abuse. I think, confiding those papers to you, Madam, I serve those who are interested, as well as if I returned them to themselves, and I preserve them from the embarrassment of receiving them from me, and of knowing I am no stranger to events, which undoubtedly they wish all the world to be unacquainted with.
You will only find copies of those two letters because I make it a point to keep the originals. I don't think I can trust anyone else with something that I consider important to keep safe, but that I would feel awkward about passing off. By handing those papers to you, Madam, I believe I’m helping those who care about them just as much as if I were giving them back directly, and I save them from the discomfort of having to get them from me, knowing I’m not unaware of events that they definitely would prefer to keep private.
I should, however, inform you, the annexed correspondence is only a part of a much more voluminous collection from which M. de Valmont drew it in my presence, and which you will find at the taking off the seals, entitled as I saw, An open account between the Marchioness de Merteuil and Viscount de Valmont. On this you will take what measures your prudence will suggest. I am with great respect,
I should, however, let you know that the attached correspondence is just a small part of a much larger collection that M. de Valmont referenced in front of me, which you will find once the seals are removed, titled An Open Account Between the Marchioness de Merteuil and Viscount de Valmont. From this, you can take whatever actions you think are wise. I remain with great respect,
Madam, &c.
Madam, etc.
P. S. Some advices I have received, and the opinion of some friends, have made me resolve to leave Paris for some time; but the place of my retreat, which is secret to every one, must not be so to you. If you do me the honour of an answer, I beg you will direct it to the commandery of —— by P.—and under cover, to M. the Commander of ——. It is from his house I have the honour to write to you.
P. S. Some advice I've received and the opinion of a few friends have made me decide to leave Paris for a while; however, the location of my retreat, which is a secret to everyone else, must not be a secret to you. If you kindly reply, please send it to the commandery of —— via P.—and address it to M. the Commander of ——. I am writing to you from his house.
Paris, Dec. 12, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 12, 1917—.
[1] It is from this correspondence, from that given at the death of M. de Tourvel, and the letters confided to M. Rosemonde, by Madame de Volanges, that the present collection has been compiled; the originals are still existing in the possession of Madame de Rosemonde’s heirs.
[1] This collection has been put together from this correspondence, the letters written around the death of M. de Tourvel, and the letters entrusted to M. Rosemonde by Madame de Volanges; the originals are still held by the heirs of Madame de Rosemonde.
LETTER CLXX.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
I go, my dear friend, from wonder to wonder, from sorrow to sorrow: one must be a mother to conceive my sufferings all yesterday morning—If my cruel uneasiness has been since alleviated, there still remains a piercing affliction, of which I cannot see the end.
I move, my dear friend, from one wonder to another, from one sorrow to another: you have to be a mother to understand my pain from yesterday morning. Even though my intense uneasiness has lessened since then, there's still a deep sorrow that I can’t see the end of.
Yesterday, about ten in the morning, surprised at not seeing my daughter, I sent my waiting maid to know what could occasion this delay—She returned instantly much frightened, and frightened me much more, by telling me my daughter was not in her apartment, and that since morning her waiting maid had not seen her. Judge you my situation! I had all my servants called, particularly the porter, who all swore they knew nothing of her, nor gave me any intelligence on this occasion. I went immediately into her apartment; the disorder it was in soon convinced me, she did not go out until morning, but could not discover any thing to clear up my doubts. I examined her drawers, her bureau; found every thing in its place, and all her clothes except the dress she had on when she went out: she did not even take the little money she had.
Yesterday, around ten in the morning, I was surprised that I hadn't seen my daughter, so I sent my maid to find out what was causing the delay. She came back right away, looking very scared, which scared me even more when she told me my daughter wasn’t in her room and that her maid hadn’t seen her since the morning. Can you imagine my situation? I called all my servants, especially the porter, and they all swore they knew nothing about her and had no information to offer. I went straight to her room; the mess in there quickly made me realize she hadn’t left until morning, but I couldn’t find anything to clarify my concerns. I searched her drawers and her bureau; everything was in its place, and all her clothes were there except for the outfit she had on when she left: she hadn’t even taken the little money she had.
As she did not know until yesterday all that is said about M. de Merteuil; that she is very much attached to her; so much, that she did nothing but cry all night after—I also recollect she did not know M. de Merteuil was in the country; it struck me she went to see her friend, and that she was so foolish as to go alone: but the time elapsing, and no account of her, recalled all my uneasiness—Every instant increased my anxiety; and burning with impatience for information, I dared not take any step to be informed, lest I should give cause for a rumour, which perhaps I should afterwards wish to hide from all the world. In my life I never suffered so much.
As she didn’t find out until yesterday everything that’s said about M. de Merteuil; that she cares a lot about her; so much so that she cried all night after—I also remember she didn’t know M. de Merteuil was out of town; it made me think she went to see her friend and that she was naïve enough to go alone: but as time went by, and there was still no word from her, all my worry came rushing back—Every moment increased my anxiety; and burning with impatience for news, I didn’t dare take any action to find out, for fear of sparking a rumor that I might later want to hide from everyone. I've never suffered so much in my life.
At length, at past two o’clock, I received together a letter from my daughter, and one from the superior of the convent of ——. My daughter’s letter only informed me, she was afraid I would oppose the vocation she had to a religious life, which she did not dare mention to me; the rest was only excusing herself for having taken this resolution without my leave, being assured I certainly would not disapprove it, if I knew her motives, which, however, she begged I would not enquire into.
At last, around two o'clock, I received a letter from my daughter and another from the head of the convent of ——. My daughter's letter just expressed her concern that I might be against her desire to pursue a religious life, which she didn’t feel comfortable discussing with me; the rest was just her apologizing for making this decision without my permission, insisting that I wouldn’t disapprove if I understood her reasons, although she asked me not to look into them.
The superior informed me, that seeing a young person come alone, she at first refused to receive her; but having interrogated, and learning who she was, she thought she served me, by giving an asylum to my daughter, not to expose her to run about, which she certainly was determined on doing. The superior offered me, as was reasonable, to give up my daughter, if I required it; inviting me at the same time, not to oppose a vocation she calls so decided.
The superior informed me that when she first saw a young person arrive alone, she refused to let her in. But after asking some questions and learning who she was, she felt she was helping me by giving my daughter a safe place to stay, preventing her from wandering around, which she was definitely planning to do. The superior reasonably offered to return my daughter to me if I wanted, while also encouraging me not to stand in the way of what she believed was a strong calling.
She writes me also, she could not inform me sooner of this event, by the difficulty she had of prevailing on my daughter to write to me whose intent was, that no one should know where she had retired—What a cruel thing is the unreasonableness of children.
She also writes to me that she couldn't let me know about this sooner because she had trouble convincing my daughter to write to me. Her plan was to keep it a secret where she had gone. What a cruel thing it is, the unreasonableness of children.
I went immediately to this convent. After having seen the superior, I desired to see my daughter; she came trembling, with some difficulty—I spoke to her before the nuns, and then alone. All I could get out of her with a deal of crying, was, she could not be happy but in a convent; I resolved to give her leave to stay there; but not to be ranked among those who desired admittance as she wanted. I fear M. de Tourvel’s and M. de Valmont’s deaths have too much affected her young head. Although I respect much a religious vocation, I shall not without sorrow, and even dread, see my daughter embrace this state—I think we have already duties enough to fulfil, without creating ourselves new ones: moreover, it is not at her age we can judge what condition is suitable for us.
I went straight to the convent. After meeting with the head, I wanted to see my daughter; she approached me trembling and with some difficulty—I spoke to her in front of the nuns, and then we talked alone. All I could get out of her after a lot of crying was that she couldn't be happy except in a convent; I decided to let her stay there, but not as one of those who wanted to be admitted, which is what she desired. I'm worried that the deaths of M. de Tourvel and M. de Valmont have really impacted her young mind. While I have great respect for a religious calling, I can't help but feel sad and even fearful seeing my daughter choose this path—I believe we already have enough responsibilities without taking on new ones; besides, at her age, it’s hard to know what life is truly suited for us.
What increases my embarrassment, is the speedy return of M. de Gercourt—Must I break off this advantageous match? How then can one contribute to their children’s happiness, if our wishes and cares are not sufficient? You would much oblige me to let me know how you would act in my situation; I cannot fix on any thing. There is nothing so dreadful as to decide on the fate of others; and I am equally afraid, on this occasion, of using the severity of a judge, or the weakness of a mother.
What makes me even more embarrassed is the quick return of M. de Gercourt—Do I have to end this beneficial match? How can anyone help their children's happiness if our wishes and efforts aren't enough? I would really appreciate it if you could tell me how you would handle things if you were in my shoes; I can't seem to make a decision. There's nothing worse than determining the fate of others, and I'm equally scared of being too harsh like a judge or too soft like a mother.
I always reproach myself with increasing your griefs, by relating mine; but I know your heart; the consolation you could give others, would be the greatest you could possibly receive.
I constantly blame myself for adding to your sorrows by sharing my own; but I understand your heart; the comfort you could offer others would be the greatest gift you could ever receive.
Adieu, my dear and worthy friend! I expect your two answers with the greatest impatience.
Goodbye, my dear and valued friend! I can’t wait to hear your two responses.
Paris, Dec. 13, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 13, 1917—.
LETTER CLXXI.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE to the CHEVALIER DANCENY.
The information you have given me, Sir, leaves me no room for any thing but sorrow and silence. One regrets to live, when they hear such horrible actions; one must be ashamed of their sex, when they see a woman capable of such abominations.
The information you've shared with me, Sir, gives me no choice but to feel sorrow and stay quiet. It's regretful to be alive when you hear about such horrible acts; it's shameful for anyone to witness a woman capable of such terrible things.
I will willingly assist all in my power, Sir, as far as I am concerned, to bury in silence and forgetfulness every thing that could leave any trace or consequence to those melancholy events. I even wish they may never give you any other uneasiness than those inseparable from the unhappy advantage you gained over my nephew. Notwithstanding his faults, which I am forced to confess, I feel I shall never be consoled for his loss: but my everlasting affliction will be the only revenge I shall ever take on you; I leave it to your own heart to value its extent.
I will gladly help everyone within my ability, Sir, to bury in silence and forget everything that could remind us of those sad events. I even hope that you will never experience any other distress than the unavoidable consequences of the unfortunate advantage you gained over my nephew. Despite his flaws, which I admit, I know I will never find comfort for his loss: my constant grief will be the only revenge I take on you; I leave it to your own heart to measure its depth.
Will you permit my age to make a reflection which seldom occurs to yours? which is, if rightly understood what is solid happiness, we should never seek it beyond the bounds prescribed by religion and the laws.
Will you allow my age to share a thought that rarely crosses your mind? That is, if we truly understand what genuine happiness is, we should never look for it outside the limits set by religion and the laws.
You may be very certain I will faithfully and willingly keep the deposit you have confided to me: but I must require of you to authorise me not to deliver it to any one, not even to yourself, Sir, unless it should be necessary for your justification. I dare believe you will not refuse me this request, and that it is now unnecessary to make you sensible we often sigh for having given way to the most just revenge.
You can be completely sure that I will faithfully and willingly keep the deposit you entrusted to me. However, I need you to authorize me to not deliver it to anyone, not even to you, Sir, unless it's necessary for your justification. I believe you won’t refuse this request, and I think it's unnecessary to remind you that we often regret giving in to the most justified revenge.
I have not yet done with my requisitions, persuaded as I am of your generosity and delicacy: it would be an act worthy both, to give me up also Mademoiselle de Volanges’s letters, which you probably may have preserved, and which, no doubt, are no longer interesting. I know this young creature has used you badly; but I do not think you mean to punish her; and was it only out of respect to yourself, you will not debase an object you loved so much. I have, therefore, no occasion to add, the respect the girl is unworthy of, is well due to the mother, to that respectable woman, who may lay some claim to a reparation from you; for, indeed, whatever colour one may seek to put on a pretended sentimental delicacy, he who first attempts to seduce a virtuous and innocent heart, by that measure becomes the first abettor of its corruption, and should be for ever accountable for the excesses and disorders that are the consequence.
I’m not done with my requests yet, especially since I trust in your kindness and sensitivity. It would be fitting to also hand over Mademoiselle de Volanges’s letters, which you probably kept, and which likely aren’t that significant anymore. I know this young woman has treated you poorly, but I don’t think you plan to punish her. Out of respect for yourself, you wouldn’t tarnish something you loved so much. Therefore, I don’t need to mention that the respect she doesn’t deserve rightfully belongs to her mother, that admirable woman who deserves some accountability from you. After all, no matter how one tries to justify it with a false sense of emotional delicacy, anyone who first tries to seduce a virtuous and innocent heart effectively becomes the instigator of its corruption and should be held responsible for the resulting excesses and chaos.
Do not be surprised, Sir, at so much severity from me; it is the strongest proof I can give you of my perfect esteem. You will still acquire an additional right to it, if you acquiesce, as I wish, to the concealing a secret, the publication of which would prejudice yourself, and give a mortal stab to a maternal heart you have already wounded. In a word, Sir, I wish to render this service to my friend; and if I had the least apprehension you would refuse me this consolation, I would desire you to think first, it is the only one you had left me.
Don’t be surprised, Sir, at my harshness; it’s the strongest way I can show you my true respect. You’ll earn even more of my respect if you agree, as I hope you will, to keep a secret that could harm you and inflict deep pain on a mother’s heart that you’ve already hurt. In short, Sir, I want to help my friend; and if I thought for a moment that you would deny me this relief, I would ask you to remember that it’s the only option I have left.
I have the honour to be, &c.
Castle of ——, Dec. 15, 17—.
I am honored to be, etc.
Castle of ——, Dec. 15, 1717.
LETTER CLXXII.
MADAME DE ROSEMONDE to MADAME DE VOLANGES.
Madame de Rosemonde to Madame de Volanges.
If I had been obliged to send to Paris, my dear friend, and wait for an answer to the eclaircissements you require concerning Madame de Merteuil, it would not have been possible to give them to you yet; and even then they would be, doubtless, vague and uncertain: but I received some I did not expect, that I had not the least reason to expect, and they are indubitable. O, my dear friend! how greatly you have been deceived in this woman!
If I had to send a message to Paris, my dear friend, and wait for a response regarding the clarifications you need about Madame de Merteuil, I wouldn't be able to provide them to you yet; and even then, they would likely be vague and uncertain. However, I received some information I didn't expect, that I had no reason to anticipate, and it is undeniable. Oh, my dear friend! How much you have been misled by this woman!
I have great reluctance to enter into the particulars of this heap of shocking abominations; but let what will be given out, be assured it will not exceed the truth. I think, my dear friend, you know me sufficiently to take my word, and that you will not require from me any proof. Let it suffice to tell you, there is a multitude of them, which I have now in my possession.
I really hesitate to get into the details of this shocking mess, but whatever is said will be nothing but the truth. I believe, my dear friend, that you know me well enough to trust my word, and you won't need any proof from me. It’s enough to say that I have a whole bunch of them in my possession now.
It is not without the greatest trouble I must also make you the same request, not to oblige me to give my motives for the advice you require concerning Mademoiselle de Volanges. I entreat you not to oppose the vocation she shows.
It is not without a lot of effort that I must also ask you the same thing, not to force me to explain my reasons for the advice you seek regarding Mademoiselle de Volanges. I urge you not to stand in the way of the path she is choosing.
Certainly, no reason whatever should authorise the forcing a person into that state, when there is no call: but it is sometimes a great happiness when there is; and you see your daughter even tells you, if you knew her motives you would not disapprove them. He who inspires us with sentiments, knows better than our vain wisdom can direct, what is suitable to every one; and what is often taken for an act of severity, is an act of his clemency.
Certainly, there’s no reason at all to force someone into that situation when it’s unnecessary. But sometimes it can be a great blessing when it is needed, and your daughter even tells you that if you understood her reasons, you wouldn’t disapprove. The one who inspires us with feelings knows better than our shallow wisdom what is right for each person; what is often seen as harshness is actually an act of kindness.
Upon the whole, my advice, which I know will afflict you, for which reason you must believe I have reflected well on it, is, that you should leave Mademoiselle de Volanges in the convent, since it is her choice; and that you should rather encourage than counteract the project she has formed; and in expectation of its being put in execution, not to hesitate in breaking off the intended match.
Overall, my advice, which I know will upset you, and for that reason you should trust that I've thought it through, is that you should leave Mademoiselle de Volanges in the convent, since that's what she wants; and that you should support rather than oppose the plan she has made; and in anticipation of it happening, you shouldn’t hesitate to end the planned marriage.
Now that I have fulfilled those painful duties of friendship, and incapable as I am of adding any consolation, the only favour I have to request, my dear friend, is, not to put me any interrogatories on any subject relative to those melancholy events: let us leave them in the oblivion suitable to them; and without seeking useless or afflicting knowledge, submit to the decrees of Providence, confiding in the wisdom of its views whenever it does not permit us to comprehend them. Adieu, my dear friend!
Now that I’ve done those tough tasks of friendship, and since I can’t offer any comfort, the only favor I ask, my dear friend, is for you not to ask me any questions about those sad events. Let’s leave them in the past where they belong; instead of looking for painful or unnecessary knowledge, let’s accept what fate has in store for us, trusting in its wisdom even when we can’t understand it. Goodbye, my dear friend!
Castle of ——, Dec. 15, 17—.
Castle of ——, Dec. 15, 17—.
LETTER CLXXIII.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
Madame de Volanges to Madame de Rosmonde.
Alas, my dear friend! with what a frightful veil do you cover the fate of my daughter; and seem to dread I should raise it! What can it hide, then, more afflicting to a mother’s heart, than those horrible suspicions to which you give me up? The more I consider your friendship, your indulgence, the more my torments are increased. Twenty times since last night, I wanted to be rid of those cruel uncertainties, and to beg you would inform me, without reserve or evasion, and each time shuddered, when I recollected your request not to be interrogated. At length, I have thought on a way which still gives me some hope; and I expect from your friendship, you will not refuse to grant my wish: which is, to inform me if I have nearly understood what you might have to tell me; not to be afraid to acquaint me with all a mother’s tenderness can hide, and is not impossible to be repaired. If my miseries exceed those bounds, then I consent to leave the explanation to your silence: here is, then, what I already know, and so far my fears extended.
Oh, my dear friend! What a terrible cover you place over my daughter’s fate, and you seem to fear I might uncover it! What could it possibly hide that is more painful for a mother's heart than the awful suspicions you’re giving me? The more I think about your friendship and your kindness, the more my torment grows. Twenty times since last night, I've wanted to shake off these cruel uncertainties and plead with you to share everything with me openly, and each time I’ve recoiled at the thought of your request not to ask questions. Finally, I’ve come up with a way that gives me a bit of hope, and I expect, as a friend, that you won’t refuse my plea: please let me know if I’m close to understanding what you have to say; don’t be afraid to tell me all that a mother’s love can hide, which isn’t beyond repair. If my sufferings go beyond that, then I agree to leave the explanation to your silence: here is what I already know, and so far, where my fears extend.
My daughter showed a liking for Chevalier Danceny, and I was informed, she went so far as to receive letters from him, and even to answer them; but I thought I had prevented this juvenile error from having any dangerous consequence: now that I am in dread of every thing, I conceive it possible my vigilance may have been deceived, and I dread my daughter being seduced may have completed the measure of her follies.
My daughter seems to like Chevalier Danceny, and I've been told she has gone as far as to receive letters from him and even respond to them. I thought I had stopped this youthful mistake from leading to anything serious, but now that I'm worried about everything, I fear my watchfulness might have been fooled. I'm afraid that my daughter being seduced could ultimately lead to more of her mistakes.
I now recall to mind several circumstances that may strengthen this apprehension. I wrote you, my daughter was taken ill, on the news of M. de Valmont’s misfortune; perhaps, the cause of this sensibility was the idea of the dangers M. Danceny was exposed to in this combat. Since when, she wept so much on hearing every thing was said of Madame de Merteuil; perhaps, what I imagined the grief of friendship, was nothing else but the effect of jealousy, or regret at finding her lover faithless. Her last step may, I think, perhaps be explained by the same motive. Some, who have been disgusted with mankind, have imagined they received a call from heaven. In short, supposing those things to be so, and that you are acquainted with them, you may, no doubt, have thought them sufficient to justify the rigorous advice you give me.
I now remember a few things that might support this worry. I mentioned that my daughter got sick when she heard about M. de Valmont’s troubles; maybe her sensitivity was because of the dangers M. Danceny faced in that fight. Ever since then, she’s been crying a lot every time something was said about Madame de Merteuil; perhaps what I considered the sorrow of friendship was really just jealousy or sadness over discovering her lover was unfaithful. I think her last action might be explained by the same reason. Some people who have grown disillusioned with humanity believe they’ve received a calling from above. In short, if we assume these things are true and that you’re aware of them, you probably think they are enough to justify the harsh advice you’ve given me.
And if matters should be so, at the same time I should blame my daughter, I should think myself bound to attempt every method to save her from the torments and dangers of an illusory and transitory vocation. If M. Danceny is not totally divested of every honourable sentiment, he will not surely refuse to repair an injury of which he is the sole author; and I also think, a marriage with my daughter, not to mention her family, would be advantageously flattering to him.
And if things turn out that way, I would hold my daughter accountable and feel obligated to try every way to save her from the pains and risks of a deceptive and temporary career. If M. Danceny has any sense of honor, he won't hesitate to fix the harm he has caused; plus, I believe that marrying my daughter, not to mention her family, would be a flattering boost for him.
This, my dear and worthy friend, is my last hope; hasten to confirm it, if possible. You may judge how impatient I shall be for an answer, and what a mortal blow your silence would give me.[1]
This, my dear and valued friend, is my final hope; please rush to confirm it, if you can. You can imagine how anxious I will be for a reply, and how devastating your silence would be for me.[1]
I was just closing my letter, when a man of my acquaintance came to see me, and related to me a cruel scene Madame de Merteuil had to go through yesterday. As I saw no one for some days, I heard nothing of this affair. I will recite it, as I had it from an eye witness.
I was just finishing my letter when a guy I knew came to visit me and told me about a terrible situation Madame de Merteuil experienced yesterday. Since I hadn’t seen anyone for a few days, I hadn’t heard anything about this. I’ll share it as I heard it from someone who witnessed it.
Madame de Merteuil, at her return from the country on Thursday, was set down at the Italian comedy, where she had a box; there she was alone; and what must appear to her very extraordinary, not a man came near her during the whole performance. At coming away, she went, according to custom, into the little saloon, which was full of company; instantly a buzzing began, of which probably she did not think herself the object. She observed an empty place on one of the seats, on which she sat down; but all the ladies who were seated on it immediately rose, as if in concert, and left her entirely alone. This so pointed mark of general indignation was applauded by all the men, redoubled the murmurs, which, it is said, were even at last increased to hootings.
Madame de Merteuil returned from the countryside on Thursday and attended the Italian comedy, where she had a private box. She was alone, and what must have seemed very strange to her was that no man approached her during the entire show. When she left, she went, as usual, into the small lounge, which was crowded with people. Immediately, a buzz began, likely with her as the focus. She noticed an empty seat and sat down, but all the ladies who were sitting there instantly got up, as if they had planned it, and left her completely alone. This clear display of collective disapproval was well received by all the men, and the murmurs reportedly escalated, eventually even leading to boos.
That nothing should be wanting to complete her humiliation, unfortunately for her, M. de Prevan, who had not appeared in public since his adventure, made his appearance at that instant. The moment he entered, every one, men and women, surrounded and applauded him; and he was jostled in such a manner, as to be brought directly opposite M. de Merteuil by the company who formed a circle round him. It is asserted, she preserved the appearance of neither seeing or hearing any thing, and that she did not even change countenance; but I am apt to believe this last an exaggeration. However, this truly ignominious situation lasted until her carriage was announced; and at her departure, those scandalous hootings and hissings were again redoubled. It is shocking to be related to this woman. M. de Prevan received a most hearty welcome from all the officers of his corps who were there, and there is not the least doubt but he will be restored soon to his rank.
That nothing would be spared to complete her humiliation, unfortunately for her, M. de Prevan, who hadn’t shown his face in public since his incident, made his entrance at that moment. As soon as he walked in, everyone, both men and women, gathered around and cheered for him; he was jostled in such a way that he ended up standing directly in front of M. de Merteuil, surrounded by the crowd. It’s said that she maintained the façade of neither seeing nor hearing anything and didn’t even change her expression; however, I suspect that’s an exaggeration. Regardless, this truly humiliating situation endured until her carriage was announced; as she left, the scandalous jeers and boos grew even louder. It’s disgraceful to be related to this woman. M. de Prevan received a warm welcome from all the officers of his corps who were present, and there’s no doubt he will soon be restored to his rank.
The same person who gave me this information told me M. de Merteuil was taken the night following with a very violent fever, that was at first imagined to be the effect of the dreadful situation she was in; but last night the small pox declared itself, it is of the confluent kind, and of the worst sort. On my word, I think it would be the greatest happiness if it should carry her off. It is, moreover, reported, this affair will prejudice her most essentially in her depending lawsuit, which is soon to be brought to trial, and in which, it is said, she stood in need of powerful protection.
The same person who shared this information with me mentioned that M. de Merteuil came down with a very high fever the night after, which was initially thought to be a result of her terrible situation. However, last night, she showed symptoms of smallpox, and it's the confluent type, which is the worst kind. Honestly, I think it would be the greatest relief if it took her life. It's also reported that this will seriously affect her ongoing lawsuit, which is about to go to trial, and apparently, she desperately needed strong support for it.
Adieu, my dear and worthy friend! In all this I see the hand of Providence punishing the wicked: but do not find any consolation for their unhappy victims.
Adieu, my dear and valued friend! In all of this, I see the hand of Providence punishing the wicked; however, I can't find any comfort for their unfortunate victims.
Paris, Dec. 18, 17—.
Paris, Dec. 18, 1717—.
[1] This letter remained unanswered.
This letter went unanswered.
LETTER CLXXIV.
The CHEVALIER DANCENY to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
The Chevalier Danceny to Madame de Rosmonde.
You are very right, Madam; most certainly I will not refuse you any thing that depends on me, and on which you are inclined to set a value. The packet I have the honour to send you, contains all Mademoiselle de Volanges’ letters. If you will take the trouble to read them, you will be astonished to see so much candour united with such perfidiousness. This is, at least, what has made the strongest impression on my mind, at my last perusal of them.
You’re absolutely right, Madam; I definitely won’t deny you anything within my power that you value. The package I’m honored to send you includes all of Mademoiselle de Volanges’ letters. If you take the time to read them, you’ll be surprised to find such honesty mixed with such treachery. That’s what made the biggest impression on me during my last reading of them.
But it is impossible to avoid being filled with the greatest indignation against M. de Merteuil, when one recollects what horrible pleasure and pains she took to destroy so much innocence and candour.
But it's hard to not feel a deep anger towards M. de Merteuil when you remember the terrible pleasure and effort she put into ruining so much innocence and purity.
No, Madam, I am no longer in love. I have not the least spark of a sentiment so unworthily betrayed; and it is not love that puts me on means to justify Mademoiselle de Volanges. Still would not that innocent heart, that soft and easy temper, be moulded to good more readily than it was hurried to evil? What young person, just come out of a convent, without experience, and almost divested of ideas, and bringing with her into the world, as most always happens, an equal share of ignorance of good and evil; what young person could have resisted such culpable artifices more? In order to inspire us with some indulgence, it is sufficient to reflect on how many circumstances, independent of us, is the frightful alternative from delicacy, to the depravity of sentiment. You, then, did me justice, Madam, in believing me incapable of having any idea of revenge, for the injuries I received from Mademoiselle de Volanges, and which, notwithstanding, I felt very sensibly. The sacrifice is great, in being obliged to give over loving her: but the attempt would be too great for me to hate her.
No, Madam, I'm no longer in love. I don’t feel even the slightest bit of a sentiment that was so shamefully betrayed; and it's not love that drives me to defend Mademoiselle de Volanges. But wouldn’t that innocent heart, with its gentle and easygoing nature, be more easily shaped for good than it was rushed into wrongdoing? What young person, just out of a convent, without experience and almost devoid of ideas, and who, as is usually the case, comes into the world with an equal mix of ignorance about good and evil; what young person could have resisted such sinful schemes more? To inspire us with a bit of compassion, it’s enough to think about how many circumstances beyond our control lead from sensitivity to moral decay. You did well to assume, Madam, that I was incapable of seeking revenge for the wrongs I suffered from Mademoiselle de Volanges, which I felt acutely. The sacrifice is significant, having to stop loving her; but trying to hate her would be an even greater struggle for me.
I had no need of reflection to wish every thing that concerns, or that could be prejudicial to her, should ever be kept secret from the world. If I have appeared something dilatory in fulfilling your wishes on this occasion, I believe I may tell you my motive; I wished first to be certain I should not be troubled on my late unhappy affair. At a time when I was soliciting your indulgence, when I even dared to think I had some right to it, I should have dreaded having the least appearance in a manner of purchasing it by this condescension: certain of the purity of my motives, I had, I own, the vanity to wish you could not have the least doubt of them.
I didn’t need to think twice about wanting everything related to her, or anything that could harm her, to be kept a secret from the world. If I seemed a bit slow in fulfilling your wishes this time, I think I should explain my reason; I wanted to be sure that my recent unfortunate situation wouldn’t cause any trouble. At a moment when I was asking for your understanding, when I even dared to believe I deserved it, I would have hated to give the impression that I was trying to earn it through this concession: confident in the honesty of my intentions, I admit I was a bit vain in hoping that you wouldn’t have any doubts about them.
I hope you will pardon this delicacy, perhaps too susceptible, to the veneration with which you have inspired me, and to the great value of your esteem.
I hope you’ll forgive my sensitivity, which may be too easily influenced by the admiration you’ve inspired in me and the great importance of your respect.
The same sentiment makes me request as a favour, you will be so obliging to let me know if you think I have fulfilled all the obligations the unhappy circumstances I was in required. Once satisfied on this point, my resolution is taken; I set out for Malta: there I shall with pleasure take and religiously keep vows which will separate me from a world, with which, though young, I have so much reason to be dissatisfied—I will endeavour in a foreign clime, to lose the idea of so many accumulated horrors, whose remembrance can only bring sorrow to my head.
The same feeling makes me ask a favor: please let me know if you think I’ve met all the responsibilities that my unfortunate situation required. Once I’m clear on this, I’ve made up my mind; I’m heading to Malta. There, I will gladly take vows that will distance me from a world that, despite my youth, I have plenty of reasons to be unhappy with. I will try to forget all the accumulated horrors in a foreign land, as their memory only brings me sorrow.
I am with the greatest respect, Madam, &c.
Paris, Dec. 26, 17—.
I have the highest respect for you, Ma'am, etc.
Paris, Dec. 26, 1717.
LETTER CLXXV.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
MADAME DE VOLANGES to MADAME DE ROSEMONDE.
At length, my dear and worthy friend, Madame de Merteuil’s fate is determined; and it is such, that her greatest enemies are divided between the indignation she deserves, and the compassion she raises. I was right, when I wrote you it would be happy for her to have died of the small pox. She is recovered, it is true, but horribly disfigured; and has lost an eye. You may well imagine, I have not seen her; but I have been informed she is a hideous spectacle.
At last, my dear and valued friend, Madame de Merteuil’s fate is sealed; and it’s such that her biggest enemies are torn between the anger she deserves and the pity she inspires. I was correct when I told you it would have been better for her to have died from smallpox. She has recovered, it’s true, but is horribly disfigured and has lost an eye. You can imagine that I haven’t seen her, but I’ve been told she is a terrible sight.
The Marquis of —— who never loses an opportunity of saying a sarcastical thing, speaking of her yesterday, said, that her disorder had turned her inside out; that now her mind was painted on her countenance. Unfortunately all present thought the remark very just.
The Marquis of —— who never misses a chance to make a sarcastic comment, talked about her yesterday, saying that her illness had turned her inside out; that her thoughts were now written all over her face. Unfortunately, everyone there agreed with him.
Another event adds to her disgraces and her misfortunes: her lawsuit came to a trial the day before yesterday, and she was cast by the unanimous opinion of all the judges; costs of suit, damages, and interest.
Another event adds to her embarrassments and misfortunes: her lawsuit went to trial the day before yesterday, and she was found against by the unanimous decision of all the judges; legal fees, damages, and interest.
All in favour of the minors: so that the little she had exclusive of this suit, is all swallowed, and more too by the expences.
All in favor of the minors: so everything she had, apart from this lawsuit, is all gone, and even more is lost due to the expenses.
As soon as she was informed of this news, although still ill, she set off post in the night alone—Her people say to-day, that not one of them would accompany her; it is imagined she has taken the road to Holland.
As soon as she heard the news, even though she was still sick, she headed off alone at night. Her people say today that none of them would go with her; it's believed she took the route to Holland.
This sudden flight raises the general outcry more than all the rest; as she has carried off all her diamonds, which are a very considerable object; and were a part of her husband’s succession; her plate, her jewels, in short every thing she could; and has left behind her debts to the amount of 50,000 livres—it is an actual bankruptcy.
This sudden escape has stirred up more outrage than anything else; she's taken all her diamonds, which are quite valuable and were part of her husband's inheritance. She grabbed her silverware, her jewels, and basically everything she could, leaving behind debts totaling 50,000 livres—it's a complete bankruptcy.
The family are to assemble to-morrow to take some measures with the creditors. Although a very distant relation, I have offered to contribute, but I was not at this meeting, being obliged to assist at a more melancholy ceremony. To-morrow my daughter will put on the habit of novice; I hope you will not forget, my dear friend, my only motive in agreeing to this sacrifice, is the silence you keep with me.
The family is getting together tomorrow to discuss some plans with the creditors. Even though I’m a distant relative, I offered to help out, but I wasn’t at this meeting because I had to attend a more somber event. Tomorrow, my daughter will become a novice. I hope you won't forget, my dear friend, that my only reason for agreeing to this sacrifice is the silence you maintain with me.
M. Danceny quitted Paris about a fortnight ago; it is said he is gone to Malta, to settle: perhaps it would be yet time enough to prevent him? My dear friend, my daughter was very culpable then! You will undoubtedly excuse a mother being difficult in acquiescing to such a dreadful truth.
M. Danceny left Paris about two weeks ago; it’s said he’s gone to Malta to settle there. Maybe there’s still time to stop him? My dear friend, my daughter was very wrong back then! You will surely understand why a mother struggles to accept such a terrible truth.
What a fatality I am involved in for some time past, and has wounded me in my dearest connections! My daughter and my friend.
What a tragedy I've been caught up in for a while now, and it has hurt me in my closest relationships! My daughter and my friend.
Who can refrain being struck with horror at the misfortunes one dangerous connection may cause, and how many sorrows and troubles would be avoided by seriously reflecting on this point! Where is the woman who would not fly the first advances of a seducer? What mother would not tremble to see any other but herself speak to her daughter? But those cool reflections never occur until after the event. And one of the most important and generally acknowledged truths, is stifled and useless in the vortex of our absurd manners.
Who can help but feel horror at the disasters that one risky relationship can bring, and how many heartaches and problems could be avoided by truly thinking about this? Where is the woman who wouldn’t reject the first advances of a seducer? What mother wouldn’t feel anxious to see anyone but herself talk to her daughter? But those calm reflections only come after the fact. And one of the most crucial and widely accepted truths gets drowned out and becomes useless in the chaos of our ridiculous behaviors.
Farewell, my dear and worthy friend! I now feel, our reason, which is inadequate to prevent misfortunes, is still less to administer consolation[1].
Farewell, my dear and valued friend! I now realize that our reasoning, which is not enough to stop misfortunes, is even less capable of offering comfort[1].
Paris, Jan. 14, 17—.
Paris, Jan. 14, 1717.
[1] Particular reasons and considerations, which we shall always think it our duty to respect, oblige us to stop here.
[1] Certain reasons and considerations, which we feel obligated to acknowledge, require us to pause here.
We cannot at this time give the reader neither the continuation of Mademoiselle de Volanges’ adventures, nor the sinister events which fulfilled the miseries or ended Madame de Merteuil’s Punishment.
We can't at this time provide the reader either the continuation of Mademoiselle de Volanges' adventures or the dark events that completed the sufferings or concluded Madame de Merteuil's punishment.
We shall be permitted, perhaps, some time or other, to complete this work, but we cannot pledge ourselves to this: even if we could, we should first think ourselves obliged to consult the taste of the public, who have not the same reasons we have to be concerned in this publication.
We might eventually have the chance to finish this work, but we can't promise that we will: even if we could, we would first feel obligated to consider what the public thinks, since they don't have the same reasons to care about this publication as we do.
FINIS.
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