This is a modern-English version of Gadsby : a story of over 50,000 words without using the letter "E", originally written by Wright, Ernest Vincent.
It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling,
and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.
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The cover image was created by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.
The cover image was made by the person who typed it up and is available for public use.
GADSBY

GADSBY
Gatsby
(A Story of Over 50,000 Words)
(Without Using the Letter "E")
(A Story of Over 50,000 Words)
(Without Using the Letter "E")
By
ERNEST VINCENT WRIGHT
By ERNEST VINCENT WRIGHT
Wetzel Publishing Co., Inc.
: Los Angeles, California :
Wetzel Publishing Co., Inc.
: LA, California :
COPYRIGHT 1939
BY
WETZEL PUBLISHING CO., INC.
COPYRIGHT 1939
BY
WETZEL PUBLISHING CO., INC.

ERNEST VINCENT WRIGHT
ERNEST VINCENT WRIGHT
INTRODUCTION
The entire manuscript of this story was written with the E type-bar of the typewriter tied down; thus making it impossible for that letter to be printed. This was done so that none of that vowel might slip in, accidentally; and many did try to do so!
The whole manuscript of this story was written with the E key of the typewriter locked down; this made it impossible for that letter to be printed. This was done to ensure that none of that vowel would accidentally slip in, and many did try to do so!
There is a great deal of information as to what Youth can do, if given a chance; and, though it starts out in somewhat of an impersonal vein, there is plenty of thrill, rollicking comedy, love, courtship, marriage, patriotism, sudden tragedy, a determined stand against liquor, and some amusing political aspirations in a small growing town.
There’s a lot of information about what Youth can achieve when given the opportunity; and while it begins in a bit of an impersonal way, there's still plenty of excitement, fun comedy, love, dating, marriage, patriotism, unexpected tragedy, a strong stance against alcohol, and some entertaining political ambitions in a small, growing town.
In writing such a story,—purposely avoiding all words containing the vowel E, there are a great many difficulties. The greatest of these is met in the past tense of verbs, almost all of which end with "—ed." Therefore substitutes must be found; and they are very few. This will cause, at times, a somewhat monotonous use of such words as "said;" for neither "replied," "answered" nor "asked" can be used. Another difficulty comes with the elimination of the common couplet "of course," and its very common connective, "consequently;" which will, unavoidably cause "bumpy spots." The numerals also cause plenty of trouble, for none between six and thirty are available. When introducing young ladies into the story, this is a real barrier; for what young woman wants to have it known that she is over thirty? And this restriction on numbers, of course taboos all mention of dates.
In writing such a story—deliberately avoiding all words containing the vowel E—there are a lot of challenges. The biggest one comes with the past tense of verbs, almost all of which end in "—ed." So, substitutes need to be found, and they are very few. This will sometimes lead to a somewhat repetitive use of words like "said," since "replied," "answered," and "asked" can’t be used. Another issue arises with the removal of the common phrase "of course" and its very common connector, "consequently;" which will, inevitably create "bumpy spots." The numbers also create a lot of problems because none between six and thirty are available. When introducing young women into the story, this is a real obstacle; what young woman wants it to be known that she is over thirty? And this limitation on numbers, of course, prevents any mention of dates.
Many abbreviations also must be avoided; the most common of all, "Mr." and "Mrs." being particularly troublesome; for those words, if read aloud, plainly indicate the E in their orthography.
Many abbreviations should also be avoided; the most common ones, "Mr." and "Mrs." being especially tricky; because those words, when spoken aloud, clearly show the E in their spelling.
As the vowel E is used more than five times oftener than any other letter, this story was written, not through any attempt to attain literary merit, but due to a somewhat balky nature, caused by hearing it so constantly claimed that "it can't be done; for you cannot say anything at all without using E, and make smooth continuity, with perfectly grammatical construction—" so 'twas said.
As the letter E is used more than five times more often than any other letter, this story was written, not out of a desire to achieve literary fame, but because of a bit of stubbornness, influenced by constantly hearing claims that "it can't be done; for you cannot say anything at all without using E, and maintain smooth continuity with perfectly grammatical structure—" so it was said.
Many may think that I simply "drop" the E's, filling the gaps with apostrophes. A perusal of the book will show that this is not so. All words used are complete; are correctly spelled and properly used. This has been accomplished through the use of synonyms; and, by so twisting a sentence around as to avoid ambiguity. The book may prove a valuable aid to school children in English composition.
Many might think that I just "drop" the E's, using apostrophes to fill the gaps. But if you look through the book, you'll see that's not the case. All the words used are complete; they're correctly spelled and properly used. I've achieved this by using synonyms and rephrasing sentences to avoid confusion. The book could be a helpful resource for school kids in English composition.
People, as a rule, will not stop to realize what a task such an attempt actually is. As I wrote along, in long-hand at first, a whole army of little E's gathered around my desk, all eagerly expecting to be called upon. But gradually as they saw me writing on and on, without even noticing them, they grew uneasy; and, with excited whisperings amongst themselves, began hopping up and riding on my pen, looking down constantly for a chance to drop off into some word; for all the world like sea-birds perched, watching for a passing fish! But when they saw that I had covered 138 pages of typewriter size paper, they slid off onto the floor, walking sadly away, arm in arm; but shouting back: "You certainly must have a hodge-podge of a yarn there without Us! Why, man! We are in every story ever written, hundreds of thousands of times! This is the first time we ever were shut out!"
People usually don’t take a moment to realize how big of a job trying to write really is. As I started to write, initially by hand, a whole crowd of little E's gathered around my desk, all eagerly waiting for their turn. But as they watched me keep writing without even noticing them, they grew restless; with excited whispers among themselves, they began jumping up and riding on my pen, constantly looking down for a chance to drop into a word, like sea birds perched, waiting for a fish to swim by! But when they saw that I had filled 138 pages of typewriter-sized paper, they slid off onto the floor, walking away sadly, arm in arm; but shouting back, "You must have a jumbled mess of a story without us! Come on! We’ve been in every story ever written, hundreds of thousands of times! This is the first time we've ever been left out!"
Pronouns also caused trouble; for such words as he, she, they, them, theirs, her, herself, myself, himself, yourself, etc., could not be utilized. But a particularly annoying obstacle comes when, almost through a long paragraph you can find no words with which to continue that line of thought; hence, as in Solitaire, you are "stuck," and must go way back and start another; which, of course, must perfectly fit the preceding context.
Pronouns also created challenges; words like he, she, they, them, theirs, her, herself, myself, himself, yourself, etc., couldn't be used. But a particularly frustrating problem arises when, after getting through a long paragraph, you can't find the words to continue that line of thought; so, like in Solitaire, you feel "stuck" and have to go way back and start over, which, of course, has to perfectly match the previous context.
I have received some extremely odd criticisms since the Associated Press widely announced that such a book was being written. A rapid-talking New York newspaper columnist wanted to know how I would get over the plain fact that my name contains the letter E three times. As an author's name is not a part of his story, that criticism did not hold water. And I received one most scathing epistle from a lady (woman!) denouncing me as a "genuine fake;" (that paradox being a most interesting one!), and ending by saying:—"Everyone knows that such a feat is impossible." All right. Then the impossible has been accomplished; (a paradox to equal hers!) Other criticism may be directed at the Introduction; but this section of a story also is not part of it. The author is entitled to it, in order properly to explain his work. The story required five and a half months of concentrated endeavor, with so many erasures and retrenchments that I tremble as I think of them. Of course anybody can write such a story. All that is needed is a piece of string tied from the E type-bar down to some part of the base of the typewriter. Then simply go ahead and type your story. Incidentally, you should have some sort of a bromide preparation handy, for use when the going gets rough, as it most assuredly will!
I’ve gotten some really strange criticism since the Associated Press announced that this book was being written. A fast-talking New York newspaper columnist asked how I would deal with the fact that my name has the letter E three times. Since an author's name is not part of the story, that criticism doesn’t make sense. I also received a scathing letter from a lady (woman!) calling me a “genuine fake” (which is an interesting paradox!), and she ended by saying: “Everyone knows that such a feat is impossible.” Okay. Then the impossible has been achieved; (a paradox to match hers!) Other criticism may be aimed at the Introduction; but this part of the story also isn’t included in it. The author deserves it to properly explain his work. The story took five and a half months of focused effort, with so many edits and revisions that I get nervous just thinking about them. Of course, anyone can write such a story. All you need is a piece of string tied from the E type-bar to some part of the typewriter's base. Then just go ahead and type your story. By the way, you should keep some kind of chill pill handy, for when the going gets tough, as it definitely will!
Before the book was in print, I was freely and openly informed "there is a trick, or catch," somewhere in that claim that there is not one letter E in the entire book, after you leave the Introduction. Well; it is the privilege of the reader to unearth any such deception that he or she may think they can find. I have even ordered the printer not to head each chapter with the words "Chapter 2," etc., on account of that bothersome E in that word.
Before the book was published, I was openly told, "there’s a trick or catch" in the claim that there isn’t a single letter E in the entire book after the Introduction. Well, it’s the reader’s privilege to discover any deception they think they can find. I even instructed the printer not to label each chapter with "Chapter 2," etc., because of that annoying E in that word.
In closing let me say that I trust you may learn to love all the young folks in the story, as deeply as I have, in introducing them to you. Like many a book, it grows more and more interesting as the reader becomes well acquainted with the characters.
In closing, I hope you come to love all the young people in the story as much as I do while introducing them to you. Like many books, it gets more and more interesting as you get to know the characters better.
Los Angeles, California
LA, California
February, 1939
February 1939
I
If Youth, throughout all history, had had a champion to stand up for it; to show a doubting world that a child can think; and, possibly, do it practically; you wouldn't constantly run across folks today who claim that "a child don't know anything." A child's brain starts functioning at birth; and has, amongst its many infant convolutions, thousands of dormant atoms, into which God has put a mystic possibility for noticing an adult's act, and figuring out its purport.
If Youth, all through all history, had a champion to defend it; to demonstrate to a skeptical world that a child can think; and, perhaps, put those thoughts into action; you wouldn’t keep encountering people today who say that “a child doesn’t know anything.” A child’s brain begins working at birth; and within its many infant folds, there are thousands of dormant atoms, in which God has placed a mysterious potential for observing an adult’s actions and understanding their meaning.
Up to about its primary school days a child thinks, naturally, only of play. But many a form of play contains disciplinary factors. "You can't do this," or "that puts you out," shows a child that it must think, practically, or fail. Now, if, throughout childhood, a brain has no opposition, it is plain that it will attain a position of "status quo," as with our ordinary animals. Man knows not why a cow, dog or lion was not born with a brain on a par with ours; why such animals cannot add, subtract, or obtain from books and schooling, that paramount position which Man holds today.
Up until about primary school, a child naturally just thinks about play. But a lot of play actually involves lessons in discipline. "You can't do this," or "that puts you out," teaches a child that it needs to think practically or it will fail. If a child's mind doesn't face any challenges during childhood, it's clear it will end up in a state of "status quo," much like our everyday animals. We don’t really know why a cow, dog, or lion was not born with a brain similar to ours; why these animals can't add, subtract, or learn from books and education to achieve the high status that humans have today.
But a human brain is not in that class. Constantly throbbing and pulsating, it rapidly forms opinions; attaining an ability of its own; a fact which is startlingly shown by an occasional child "prodigy" in music or school work. And as, with our dumb animals, a child's inability convincingly to impart its thoughts to us, should not class it as ignorant.
But a human brain isn't like that. It's constantly active and quickly forms opinions; it develops its own capabilities—something that's strikingly illustrated by the occasional child "prodigy" in music or academics. And just like with our pets, a child's struggle to express its thoughts clearly shouldn't make us consider it ignorant.
Upon this basis I am going to show you how a bunch of bright young folks did find a champion; a man with boys and girls of his own; a man of so dominating and happy individuality that Youth is drawn to him as is a fly to a sugar bowl. It is a story about a small town. It is not a gossipy yarn; nor is it a dry, monotonous account, full of such customary "fill-ins" as "romantic moonlight casting murky shadows down a long, winding country road." Nor will it say anything about tinklings lulling distant folds; robins carolling at twilight, nor any "warm glow of lamplight" from a cabin window. No. It is an account of up-and-doing activity; a vivid portrayal of Youth as it is today; and a practical discarding of that worn-out notion that "a child don't know anything."
Based on this, I'm going to show you how a group of bright young people found a champion; a man with kids of his own; a man so vibrant and positive that young people are drawn to him like a fly to a sugar bowl. This is a story about a small town. It's not a gossip-filled tale, nor is it a boring, repetitive narrative full of clichés like "romantic moonlight casting dark shadows down a long, winding country road." It won't mention soothing sounds from far-off hills, robins singing at dusk, or any "warm glow of lamplight" from a cabin window. No. This is an account of action and energy; a lively depiction of youth as it actually is today; and a practical dismissal of that outdated idea that "a child doesn't know anything."
Now, any author, from history's dawn, always had that most important aid to writing:—an ability to call upon any word in his dictionary in building up his story. That is, our strict laws as to word construction did not block his path. But in my story that mighty obstruction will constantly stand in my path; for many an important, common word I cannot adopt, owing to its orthography.
Now, any author, since the beginning of time, always had that crucial tool for writing: the ability to use any word in their vocabulary to craft their story. Our strict rules about word construction didn’t get in their way. But in my story, that significant barrier will constantly be in my way; because there are many important, everyday words I can’t use due to their spelling.
I shall act as a sort of historian for this small town; associating with its inhabitants, and striving to acquaint you with its youths, in such a way that you can look, knowingly, upon any child, rich or poor; forward or "backward;" your own, or John Smith's, in your community. You will find many young minds aspiring to know how, and WHY such a thing is so. And, if a child shows curiosity in that way, how ridiculous it is for you to snap out:—
I will be like a historian for this small town, connecting with its people and trying to introduce you to its kids, so you can look at any child—rich or poor, ahead or "behind," whether they’re yours or John Smith's—with understanding. You’ll see many young minds eager to learn how things work and WHY they are the way they are. And if a child shows curiosity like that, how silly it is for you to respond:—
"Oh! Don't ask about things too old for you!"
"Oh! Don’t ask about stuff that’s too old for you!"
Such a jolt to a young child's mind, craving instruction, is apt so to dull its avidity, as to hold it back in its school work. Try to look upon a child as a small, soft young body and a rapidly growing, constantly inquiring brain. It must grow to maturity slowly. Forcing a child through school by constant night study during hours in which it should run and play, can bring on insomnia; handicapping both brain and body.
Such a shock to a young child's mind, eager to learn, can really dull its enthusiasm and hold it back in school. Try to think of a child as a small, soft body with a quickly developing, constantly curious brain. It needs to grow up at its own pace. Pushing a child through school with constant late-night studying during the time it should be playing can lead to insomnia, harming both the brain and the body.
Now this small town in our story had grown in just that way:—slowly; in fact, much too slowly to stand on a par with many a thousand of its kind in this big, vigorous nation of ours. It was simply stagnating; just as a small mountain brook, coming to a hollow, might stop, and sink from sight, through not having a will to find a way through that obstruction; or around it. You will run across such a dormant town, occasionally; possibly so dormant that only outright isolation by a fast-moving world, will show it its folly. If you will tour Asia, Yucatan, or parts of Africa and Italy, you will find many sad ruins of past kingdoms. Go to Indo-China and visit its gigantic Ankhor Vat; call at Damascus, Baghdad and Samarkand. What sorrowful lack of ambition many such a community shows in thus discarding such high-class construction! And I say, again, that so will Youth grow dormant, and hold this big, throbbing world back, if no champion backs it up; thus providing it with an opportunity to show its ability for looking forward, and improving unsatisfactory conditions.
Now, this small town in our story had developed in just that way: slowly; in fact, much too slowly to keep up with many thousands of similar towns in our big, energetic nation. It was simply stagnating; just like a small mountain stream that reaches a low point, stops, and disappears from view because it lacks the will to find a way through or around the obstacle. You might come across such a dormant town now and then; maybe so dormant that only complete isolation from a fast-moving world will reveal its foolishness. If you travel through Asia, Yucatan, or parts of Africa and Italy, you'll find many sad remnants of past kingdoms. Visit Indo-China and see its massive Angkor Wat; stop by Damascus, Baghdad, and Samarkand. What a tragic lack of ambition these communities show by abandoning such impressive structures! And I say again, that if Youth becomes dormant and doesn’t have a champion to support it, it will hold back this big, vibrant world, thereby missing the chance to forward-thinking and improve poor conditions.
So this small town of Branton Hills was lazily snoozing amidst up-and-doing towns, as Youth's Champion, John Gadsby, took hold of it; and shook its dawdling, flabby body until its inhabitants thought a tornado had struck it. Call it tornado, volcano, military onslaught, or what you will, this town found that it had a bunch of kids who had wills that would admit of no snoozing; for that is Youth, on its forward march of inquiry, thought and action.
So, this small town of Branton Hills was just dozing off while nearby towns were buzzing with activity, until Youth's Champion, John Gadsby, came along; he shook its sluggish, lazy existence until its residents felt like a tornado had hit. Call it a tornado, a volcano, a military attack, or whatever you like, this town discovered it had a bunch of kids whose determination wouldn’t allow for any more dawdling; because that is Youth, on its relentless pursuit of knowledge, thought, and action.
If you stop to think of it, you will find that it is customary for our "grown-up" brain to cast off many of its functions of its youth; and to think only of what it calls "topics of maturity." Amongst such discards, is many a form of happy play; many a muscular activity such as walking, running, climbing; thus totally missing that alluring "joy of living" of childhood. If you wish a vacation from financial affairs, just go out and play with Youth. Play "blind-man's buff," "hop-scotch," "ring toss," and football. Go out to a charming woodland spot on a picnic with a bright, happy, vivacious group. Sit down at a corn roast; a marshmallow toast; join in singing popular songs; drink a quart of good, rich milk; burrow into that big lunch box; and all such things as banks, stocks, and family bills, will vanish on fairy wings, into oblivion.
If you stop to think about it, you'll realize that our "grown-up" brains tend to shed many functions from our youth and focus only on what they consider "adult topics." Among these abandoned things are forms of joyful play and activities like walking, running, and climbing, which means we completely miss out on that enchanting "joy of living" from childhood. If you want a break from financial worries, just go out and play like a kid. Play "blind man's bluff," "hopscotch," "ring toss," and football. Head out to a lovely wooded area for a picnic with a fun, lively group. Sit down for a corn roast or a marshmallow toast, sing popular songs, drink a quart of delicious, rich milk, dive into that big lunch box, and all those concerns about banks, stocks, and family bills will fade away as if by magic.
But this is not a claim that Man should stay always youthful. Supposing that that famous Spaniard, landing upon Florida's coral strands, had found that mythical Fountain of Youth; what a calamity for mankind! A world without maturity of thought; without man's full-grown muscular ability to construct mighty buildings, railroads and ships; a world without authors, doctors, savants, musicians; nothing but Youth! I can think of but a solitary approval of such a condition; for such a horror as war would not,—could not occur; for a child is, naturally, a small bunch of sympathy. I know that boys will "scrap;" also that "spats" will occur amongst girls; but, at such a monstrosity as killings by bombing towns, sinking ships, or mass annihilation of marching troops, childhood would stand aghast. Not a tiny bird would fall; nor would any form of gun nor facility for manufacturing it, insult that almost Holy purity of youthful thought. Anybody who knows that wracking sorrow brought upon a child by a dying puppy or cat, knows that childhood can show us that our fighting, our policy of "a tooth for a tooth," is abominably wrong.
But this doesn’t mean that people should always stay young. If that famous Spaniard had found the legendary Fountain of Youth in Florida, it would have been a disaster for humanity! A world without mature thinking; without adults’ physical ability to build grand structures, railroads, and ships; a world without authors, doctors, experts, and musicians—just nothing but youth! The only upside I can see to such a situation is that terrible things like war wouldn't happen, because children are naturally empathetic. I know boys will fight, and girls will have their disagreements, but they would be horrified by the brutality of bombing cities, sinking ships, or the mass destruction of soldiers. No little bird would fall, nor would any guns or weapons be made to disturb the almost sacred purity of youthful thinking. Anyone who has seen the heart-wrenching pain of a child suffering from the loss of a puppy or kitten knows that childhood can teach us that our fighting and the idea of "an eye for an eye" is completely wrong.
So, now to start our story:—
So, now let’s begin our story:—
Branton Hills was a small town in a rich agricultural district; and having many a possibility for growth. But, through a sort of smug satisfaction with conditions of long ago, had no thought of improving such important adjuncts as roads; putting up public buildings, nor laying out parks; in fact a dormant, slowly dying community. So satisfactory was its status that it had no form of transportation to surrounding towns but by railroad, or "old Dobbin." Now, any town thus isolating its inhabitants, will invariably find this big, busy world passing it by; glancing at it, curiously, as at an odd animal at a circus; and, you will find, caring not a whit about its condition. Naturally, a town should grow. You can look upon it as a child; which, through natural conditions, should attain manhood; and add to its surrounding thriving districts its products of farm, shop, or factory. It should show a spirit of association with surrounding towns; crawl out of its lair, and find how backward it is.
Branton Hills was a small town in a wealthy agricultural area, with a lot of potential for growth. However, due to a sort of complacency with the way things had always been, it didn't consider improving crucial things like roads, building public facilities, or creating parks; in fact, it was a stagnant, slowly dying community. Its status was so comfortable that it had no means of transportation to nearby towns except by train, or "old Dobbin." Any town that cuts itself off from the outside world will inevitably see the busy world around it passing it by, looking at it curiously like an odd animal at a circus, and not caring at all about its condition. Naturally, a town should evolve. You can think of it like a child that, under the right circumstances, should grow into adulthood and contribute its farm, shop, or factory products to neighboring thriving areas. It should foster connections with surrounding towns, step out of its comfort zone, and realize how behind it has become.
Now, in all such towns, you will find, occasionally, an individual born with that sort of brain which, knowing that his town is backward, longs to start things toward improving it; not only its living conditions, but adding an institution or two, such as any city, big or small, maintains, gratis, for its inhabitants. But so forward looking a man finds that trying to instill any such notions into a town's ruling body is about as satisfactory as butting against a brick wall. Such "Boards" as you find ruling many a small town, function from such a soporific rut that any hint of digging cash from its cast iron strong box with its big brass padlock, will fall upon minds as rigid as rock.
Now, in all these towns, you’ll occasionally find someone who’s born with a mindset that recognizes how behind the times their town is and wants to push for improvements. Not just in living conditions, but also to add a few institutions like any city, big or small, maintains for its residents at no cost. However, such a forward-thinking person discovers that trying to get these ideas accepted by the town's leadership is pretty much like hitting a brick wall. The “Boards” that govern many small towns are stuck in such a dull routine that even the slightest suggestion of tapping into their cash reserves, locked up tight, goes over their heads like water off a duck's back.
Branton Hills had such a man, to whom such rigidity was as annoying as a thorn in his foot. Continuous trials brought only continual thorn-pricks; until, finally, a brilliant plan took form as John Gadsby found Branton Hills' High School pupils waking up to Branton Hills' sloth. Gadsby continually found this bright young bunch asking:—
Branton Hills had a guy like that, whose strictness was as irritating as a thorn in his foot. Constant challenges just meant constant annoyances; until, one day, a brilliant idea came to John Gadsby as he noticed the students at Branton Hills High School finally realizing how lazy the town was. Gadsby kept hearing this sharp group of kids asking:—
"Aw! Why is this town so slow? It's nothing but a dry twig!!"
"Ugh! Why is this town so boring? It's like a dead twig!!"
"Ha!" said Gadsby; "A dry twig! That's it! Many a living, blossoming branch all around us, and this solitary dry twig, with a tag hanging from it, on which you will find: 'Branton Hills; A twig too lazy to grow!'"
"Ha!" said Gadsby; "A dry twig! That's it! There are plenty of vibrant, blooming branches all around us, but this lonely dry twig, with a tag hanging from it, says: 'Branton Hills; A twig too lazy to grow!'"
Now this put a "hunch" in Gadsby's brain, causing him to say; "A High School pupil is not a child, now. Naturally a High School boy has not a man's qualifications; nor has a High School girl womanly maturity. But such kids, born in this swiftly moving day, think out many a notion which will work, but which would pass our dads and granddads in cold disdain. Just as ships pass at night. But supposing that such ships should show a light in passing; or blow a horn; or, if—if—if—By Golly! I'll do it!"
Now this sparked an idea in Gadsby’s mind, prompting him to say, “A high school student is no longer a child. Of course, a high school boy doesn’t have all the qualifications of an adult, and a high school girl hasn’t reached womanly maturity. But these kids, coming from this fast-paced world, come up with plenty of ideas that could work, even if our parents and grandparents would dismiss them outright. Just like ships passing each other at night. But what if those ships actually shone a light as they passed by? Or blew a horn? Or, if—if—if—Wow! I’m going to do it!”
And so Gadsby sat on his blossom-bound porch on a mild Spring morning, thinking and smoking. Smoking can calm a man down; and his thoughts had so long and so constantly clung to this plan of his that a cool outlook as to its promulgation was not only important, but paramount. So, as his cigar was whirling and puffing rings aloft; and as groups of bright, happy boys and girls trod past, to school, his plan rapidly took form as follows:—
And so Gadsby sat on his flower-filled porch on a mild spring morning, thinking and smoking. Smoking can help a person relax; and his thoughts had been so fixated on this plan of his for so long that having a clear perspective on sharing it was not just important, but crucial. So, as his cigar spun and puffed rings into the air, and as groups of bright, happy boys and girls walked by on their way to school, his plan quickly took shape as follows:—
"Youth! What is it? Simply a start. A start of what? Why, of that most astounding of all human functions; thought. But man didn't start his brain working. No. All that an adult can claim is a continuation, or an amplification of thoughts, dormant in his youth. Although a child's brain can absorb instruction with an ability far surpassing that of a grown man; and, although such a young brain is bound by rigid limits, it contains a capacity for constantly craving additional facts. So, in our backward Branton Hills, I just know that I can find boys and girls who can show our old moss-back Town Hall big-wigs a thing or two. Why! On Town Hall night, just go and sit in that room and find out just how stupid and stubborn a Council, (put into Town Hall, you know, through popular ballot!), can act. Say that a road is badly worn. Shall it stay so? Up jumps Old Bill Simpkins claiming that it is a townsman's duty to fix up his wagon springs if that road is too rough for him!"
"Youth! What is it? Just a beginning. A beginning of what? Well, of that amazing human ability; thought. But people don’t start using their brains. No. All an adult can claim is a continuation, or an expansion of thoughts that were already there in their youth. Even though a child's brain can take in information way better than an adult's, and while that young brain has strict limits, it has a strong desire for more knowledge. So, in our backward Branton Hills, I just know that I can find boys and girls who can teach our old-fashioned Town Hall big shots a thing or two. Seriously! On Town Hall night, just go and sit in that room and see how clueless and stubborn a Council, which was put in Town Hall through popular vote, can be. If someone says that a road is in bad shape, should it stay that way? Here comes Old Bill Simpkins claiming it's a townsman's job to fix his wagon springs if the road is too rough for him!"
As Gadsby sat thinking thus, his plan was rapidly growing; and, in a month, was actually starting to work. How? You'll know shortly; but first, you should know this John Gadsby; a man of "around fifty;" a family man, and known throughout Branton Hills for his high standard of honor and altruism on any kind of an occasion for public good. A loyal churchman, Gadsby was a man who, though admitting that an occasional fault in our daily acts is bound to occur, had taught his two boys and a pair of girls that, though folks do slip from what Scriptural authors call that "straight and narrow path," it will not pay to risk your own Soul by slipping, just so that you can laugh at your ability in staying out of prison; for Gadsby, having grown up in Branton Hills, could point to many such man or woman. So, with such firm convictions in his mind, this upstanding man was constantly striving so to act that no complaint from man, woman or child should bring a word of disapproval. In his mind, what a man might do was that man's affair only and could stain no Soul but his own. And his altruism taught that it is not difficult to find many ways in which to bring joy to such as cannot, through physical disability, go out to look for it; and that only a small bit of joy, brought to a shut-in invalid will carry with it such a warmth as can flow only from acts of human sympathy.
As Gadsby sat deep in thought, his plan was quickly coming together, and within a month, it was actually starting to take shape. How? You'll find out soon; but first, you should know about John Gadsby—a man of "around fifty," a family guy, and well-known in Branton Hills for his strong sense of honor and commitment to the public good. A devoted churchgoer, Gadsby acknowledged that mistakes can happen in everyday life but taught his two sons and two daughters that although people may stray from what the Scriptures refer to as the "straight and narrow path," it’s not worth risking your own soul just to show off how well you can avoid trouble; Gadsby, having grown up in Branton Hills, could point to many men and women who had made that mistake. With such firm convictions in his mind, this principled man was always striving to act in a way that would avoid any complaints from anyone. To him, what a person chose to do was their own business and could only affect their own soul. His altruism emphasized that it’s not hard to find ways to bring joy to those who, due to physical disabilities, can’t go out and seek it; that just a small bit of joy given to a shut-in invalid can bring warmth that only comes from genuine human kindness.
For many days Gadsby had thought of ways in which folks with a goodly bank account could aid in building up this rapidly backsliding town of Branton Hills. But, how to show that class what a contribution could do? In this town, full of capitalists and philanthropists contributing, off and on, for shipping warming pans to Zulus, Gadsby saw a solution. In whom? Why, in just that bunch of bright, happy school kids, back from many a visit to a city, and noting its ability in improving its living conditions. So Gadsby thought of thus carrying an inkling to such capitalists as to how this stagnating town could claim a big spot upon our national map, which is now shown only in small, insignificant print.
For many days, Gadsby had been brainstorming ways that people with good bank accounts could help revitalize the struggling town of Branton Hills. But how could he demonstrate to that group the impact of their contributions? In a town full of wealthy investors and philanthropists who occasionally donated for shipping warming pans to Zulus, Gadsby saw a solution. He found it in a group of bright, happy school kids who had recently returned from various trips to a city, observing how those places improved their living conditions. So Gadsby thought about conveying to these investors how this stagnant town could claim a prominent place on our national map, which currently appeared in small, insignificant print.
As a start, Branton Hills' "Daily Post" would carry a long story, outlining a list of factors for improving conditions. This it did; but it will always stay as a blot upon high minds and proud blood that not a man or woman amongst such capitalists saw, in his plan, any call for dormant funds. But did that stop Gadsby? Can you stop a rising wind? Hardly! So Gadsby took into council about forty boys of his vicinity and built up an Organization of Youth. Also about as many girls who had known what it is, compulsorily to pass up many a picnic, or various forms of sport, through a lack of public park land. So this strong, vigorous combination of both youth and untiring activity, avidly took up Gadsby's plan; for nothing so stirs up a youthful mind as an opportunity for accomplishing anything that adults cannot do. And did Gadsby know Youth? I'll say so! His two sons and girls, now in High or Grammar school, had taught him a thing or two; principal amongst which was that all-dominating fact that, at a not too far distant day, our young folks will occupy important vocational and also political positions, and will look back upon this, our day; smiling kindly at our way of doing things. So, to say that many a Branton Hills "King of Capital" got a bit huffy as a High School stripling was proving how stubborn a rich man is if his dollars don't aid so vast an opportunity for doing good, would put it mildly! Such downright gall by a half-grown kid to inform him; an outstanding light on Branton Hills' tax list, that this town was sliding down hill; and would soon land in an abyss of national oblivion! And our Organization girls! How Branton Hills' rich old widows and plump matrons did sniff in disdain as a group of High School pupils brought forth straightforward claims that cash paving a road, is doing good practical work, but, in filling up a strong box, is worth nothing to our town.
As a start, Branton Hills' "Daily Post" published a long article outlining various ways to improve conditions. It did that, but it will always be a stain on the high-minded and proud that not a single capitalist saw any room in his plan for dormant funds. But did that stop Gadsby? Can you stop a rising wind? Not really! So Gadsby gathered about forty boys from his area and formed an Organization of Youth. There were also about as many girls who had experienced having to skip many picnics and various forms of recreation due to the lack of public park space. This strong, energetic mix of youth and relentless activity eagerly took up Gadsby's plan; nothing excites a young mind more than the chance to achieve something that adults can’t. And did Gadsby know Youth? Absolutely! His two sons and daughters, now in high school, had taught him a thing or two; one key lesson was that, in the not-too-distant future, our young people would hold important vocational and political roles and would look back on this, our day, smiling at how we did things. So, to say that many of Branton Hills' "Kings of Capital" felt a bit huffy as a high school kid pointed out how stubborn a rich man can be when his money doesn’t take advantage of such a vast opportunity for doing good would be an understatement! That a half-grown kid would have the nerve to tell him, a prominent figure on Branton Hills' tax list, that this town was going downhill and would soon end up forgotten nationally! And our Organization girls! How the wealthy widows and plump matrons of Branton Hills sniffed in disdain as a group of high school students boldly claimed that cash spent on paving a road is genuinely doing good work, but filling a strongbox is worthless to our town.
Oh, that class of nabobs! How thoroughly Gadsby did know its parsimony!! And how thoroughly did this hard-planning man know just what a constant onslaught by Youth could do. So, in about a month, his "Organization" had "waylaid," so to say, practically half of Branton Hills' cash kings; and had so won out, through that commonly known "pull" upon an adult by a child asking for what plainly is worthy, that his mail brought not only cash, but two rich landlords put at his disposal, tracts of land "for any form of occupancy which can, in any way, aid our town." This land Gadsby's Organization promptly put into growing farm products for gratis distribution to Branton Hills' poor; and that burning craving of Youth for activity soon had it sprouting corn, squash, potato, onion and asparagus crops; and, to "doll it up a bit," put in a patch of blossoming plants.
Oh, that group of wealthy people! How well Gadsby really understood their stinginess! And how well this determined man knew exactly what a constant push from the younger generation could accomplish. So, in about a month, his "Organization" had effectively "captured," so to speak, nearly half of Branton Hills' wealthy elite; and had successfully won over, through that well-known "pull" that a child has on an adult when asking for something that is clearly worthwhile, that his mail not only brought in money, but also two affluent landlords offering him land "for any form of occupancy that can, in any way, benefit our town." Gadsby's Organization quickly turned this land into growing produce for free distribution to the poor of Branton Hills; and that burning desire of Youth for involvement soon had it sprouting corn, squash, potatoes, onions, and asparagus; and to "dress it up a bit," they added a patch of flowering plants.
Naturally any man is happy at a satisfactory culmination of his plans and so, as Gadsby found that public philanthropy was but an affair of plain, ordinary approach, it did not call for much brain work to find that, possibly also, a way might turn up for putting handicraft instruction in Branton Hills' schools; for schooling, according to him, did not consist only of books and black-boards. Hands also should know how to construct various practical things in woodwork, plumbing, blacksmithing, masonry, and so forth; with thorough instruction in sanitation, and that most important of all youthful activity, gymnastics. For girls such a school could instruct in cooking, suit making, hat making, fancy work, art and loom-work; in fact, about any handicraft that a girl might wish to study, and which is not in our standard school curriculum. But as Gadsby thought of such a school, no way for backing it financially was in sight. Town funds naturally, should carry it along; but town funds and Town Councils do not always form what you might call synonymous words. So it was compulsory that cash should actually "drop into his lap," via a continuation of solicitations by his now grandly functioning Organization of Youth. So, out again trod that bunch of bright, happy kids, putting forth such plain, straightforward facts as to what Manual Training would do for Branton Hills, that many saw it in that light. But you will always find a group, or individual complaining that such things would "automatically dawn" on boys and girls without any training. Old Bill Simpkins was loud in his antagonism to what was a "crazy plan to dip into our town funds just to allow boys to saw up good wood, and girls to burn up good flour, trying to cook biscuits." Kids, according to him, should go to work in Branton Hills' shopping district, and profit by it.
Of course, any man feels happy when his plans come together, and as Gadsby realized that public philanthropy was just about a straightforward approach, it didn't take much thought to see that there might also be a way to introduce skilled trades instruction in Branton Hills' schools. To him, education wasn't just about books and blackboards. Students should also learn how to create practical things like woodworking, plumbing, blacksmithing, masonry, and more; with thorough lessons in sanitation and, most importantly for young people, gymnastics. For girls, such a school could teach cooking, dressmaking, hat-making, arts and crafts, and any other craft they might want to learn that isn't offered in the regular school curriculum. However, as Gadsby imagined this school, he couldn't see any way to fund it. Naturally, town funds should support it, but town funds and Town Councils don't always align. So, it became necessary for cash to "fall into his lap" through ongoing efforts by his now thriving Organization of Youth. So, out went that group of bright, happy kids, presenting straightforward facts about how Manual Training would benefit Branton Hills, and many started to see it that way. But there will always be some people complaining that such things would "naturally come" to boys and girls without any training. Old Bill Simpkins was vocal in his opposition to what he called a "crazy plan to dip into our town funds just to let boys saw good wood and girls waste good flour trying to cook biscuits." According to him, kids should just work in Branton Hills' shopping district and learn from that.
Old Bill was a notorious grouch; but our Organization occasionally did find a totally varying mood. Old Lady Flanagan, with four boys in school, and a husband many days too drunk to work, was loud in approval.
Old Bill was known for being a real grump; however, our Organization sometimes saw a different side of him. Old Lady Flanagan, who had four boys in school and a husband who was often too drunk to work, was very vocal in her praise.
"Whoops! Thot's phwat I calls a grand thing! Worra, worra! I wish Old Man Flanagan had had sich an opporchunity. But thot ignorant old clod don't know nuthin' but boozin', tobacca shmokin' and ditch-diggin'. And you know thot our Council ain't a-payin' for no ditch-scoopin' right now. So I'll shout for thot school! For my boys can find out how to fix thot barn door our old cow laid down against."
"Whoops! That's what I call a great thing! Wow, wow! I wish Old Man Flanagan had such an opportunity. But that clueless old guy only knows about drinking, smoking tobacco, and digging ditches. And you know our Council isn't paying for any ditch digging right now. So I'll cheer for that school! Because my boys can learn how to fix that barn door our old cow laid down against."
Ha, ha! What a circus our Organization had with such varying moods and outlooks! But, finally such a school was built; instructors brought in from surrounding towns; and Gadsby was as happy as a cat with a ball of yarn.
Ha, ha! What a circus our Organization had with all those different moods and outlooks! But, in the end, a school was built; teachers were brought in from nearby towns; and Gadsby was as happy as a cat with a ball of yarn.
As Branton Hills found out what it can accomplish if it starts out with vigor and a will to win, our Organization thought of laying out a big park; furnishing an opportunity for small tots to romp and play on grassy plots; a park for all sorts of sports, picnics, and so forth; sand lots for babyhood; cozy arbors for girls who might wish to study, or talk. (You might, possibly, find a girl who can talk, you know!); also shady nooks and winding paths for old folks who might find comfort in such. Gadsby thought that a park is truly a most important adjunct to any community; for, if a growing population has no out-door spot at which its glooms, slumps and morbid thoughts can vanish upon wings of sunlight, amidst bright colorings of shrubs and sky, it may sink into a grouchy, fault-finding, squabbling group; and making such a showing for surrounding towns as to hold back any gain in population or valuation. Gadsby had a goodly plot of land in a grand location for a park and sold it to Branton Hills for a dollar; that stingy Council to lay it out according to his plans. And how his Organization did applaud him for this, his first "solo work!"
As Branton Hills discovered its potential when it started with energy and a desire to succeed, our Organization considered creating a large park; providing a space for little kids to run around and play on grassy areas; a park for all kinds of sports, picnics, and other activities; play areas for toddlers; cozy spots for girls who might want to study or chat. (You might, maybe, find a girl who can talk, you know!); also shady corners and winding paths for older folks who might find comfort in those. Gadsby believed a park is really an important addition to any community; because if a growing population doesn't have an outdoor place where their sadness, low times, and negative thoughts can disappear in the sunlight and amidst the bright colors of plants and sky, it may turn into a cranky, complaining, bickering group; presenting such a bad image to surrounding towns that it could prevent any growth in population or property value. Gadsby had a nice piece of land in a great location for a park and sold it to Branton Hills for a dollar; that cheap Council to develop it according to his plans. And how his Organization praised him for this, his first "solo project!"
But schools and parks do not fulfill all of a town's calls. Many minds of varying kinds will long for an opportunity for finding out things not ordinarily taught in school. So Branton Hills' Public Library was found too small. As it was now in a small back room in our High School, it should occupy its own building; down town, and handy for all; and with additional thousands of books and maps. Now, if you think Gadsby and his youthful assistants stood aghast at such a gigantic proposition, you just don't know Youth, as it is today. But to whom could Youth look for so big an outlay as a library building would cost? Books also cost; librarians and janitors draw pay. So, with light, warmth, and all-round comforts, it was a task to stump a full-grown politician; to say nothing of a plain, ordinary townsman and a bunch of kids. So Gadsby thought of taking two bright boys and two smart girls to Washington, to call upon a man in a high position, who had got it through Branton Hills' popular ballot. Now, any politician is a convincing orator. (That is, you know, all that politics consists of!); and this big man, in contact with a visiting capitalist, looking for a handout for his own district, got a donation of a thousand dollars. But that wouldn't start a public library; to say nothing of maintaining it. So, back in Branton Hills, again, our Organization was out, as usual, on its war-path.
But schools and parks don't meet all the needs of a town. Many different minds will crave opportunities to discover things that aren't usually taught in school. So, the Public Library in Branton Hills was found to be too small. Since it was currently in a small back room of our High School, it should have its own building downtown, easily accessible for everyone, and filled with thousands more books and maps. Now, if you think Gadsby and his young helpers were shocked by such a huge idea, you really don't understand youth as it is today. But who could help youth handle such a big expense as a library building? Books also cost money; librarians and janitors need to be paid. So, with heating, lighting, and overall comfort, it was a challenge to impress an experienced politician; let alone an ordinary townsman and a group of kids. So, Gadsby decided to take two clever boys and two smart girls to Washington to meet with a man in a high position, who had gotten there through popular vote in Branton Hills. Any politician is a persuasive speaker. (That's really what politics is all about!); and this important man, in touch with a visiting capitalist looking for funding for his own district, secured a donation of a thousand dollars. But that wouldn't start a public library, not to mention keep it running. So, back in Branton Hills, our Organization was once again on its mission.
Branton Hills' philanthropy was now showing signs of monotony; so our Organization had to work its linguistic ability and captivating tricks full blast, until that thousand dollars had so grown that a library was built upon a vacant lot which had grown nothing but grass; and only a poor quality of it, at that; and many a child and adult quickly found ways of profitably passing odd hours.
Branton Hills' charitable efforts were starting to feel repetitive; so our Organization had to fully utilize its language skills and captivating strategies until that thousand dollars had multiplied enough to construct a library on a vacant lot that had only been overrun with grass— and not even good grass at that; and many kids and adults quickly discovered ways to make use of their spare time.
Naturally Old Bill Simpkins was snooping around, sniffing and snorting at any signs of making Branton Hills "look cityish," (a word originating in Bill's vocabulary.)
Naturally, Old Bill Simpkins was snooping around, sniffing and snorting at any signs of making Branton Hills "look cityish," (a word originating in Bill's vocabulary.)
"Huh!! I didn't put in any foolish hours with books in my happy childhood in this good old town! But I got along all right; and am now having my say in its Town Hall doings. Books!! Pooh! Maps! BAH!! It's silly to squat in a hot room squinting at a lot of print! If you want to know about a thing, go to work in a shop or factory of that kind, and find out about it first-hand."
"Huh!! I didn’t waste any pointless hours with books during my happy childhood in this good old town! But I managed just fine; and now I’m speaking my mind in the Town Hall meetings. Books!! Whatever! Maps! Forget it!! It’s ridiculous to sit in a stuffy room staring at a bunch of text! If you want to learn about something, go work in a shop or factory like that, and find out about it for yourself."
"But, Bill," said Gadsby, "shops want a man who knows what to do without having to stop to train him."
"But, Bill," Gadsby said, "stores want someone who knows what to do without needing training."
"Oh, that's all bosh! If a boss shows a man what a tool is for; and if that man is any good, at all, why bring up this stuff you call training? That man grabs a tool, works 'til noon; knocks off for an hour; works 'til——"
"Oh, that's all nonsense! If a boss shows a worker what a tool is for, and if that worker is any good at all, why bring up this thing you call training? That worker picks up a tool, works until noon, takes an hour break, and then works until——"
At this point in Bill's blow-up an Italian Councilman was passing, and put in his oar, with:—
At this moment during Bill's outburst, an Italian Councilman was passing by and chimed in with:—
"Ha, Bill! You thinka your man can worka all right, firsta day, huh? You talka crazy so much as a fool! I laugha tinkin' of you startin' on a patcha for my boota! You lasta just a half hour. Thisa library all righta. This town too mucha what I call tight-wad!"
"Ha, Bill! You think your guy can get things done right on the first day, huh? You talk crazy like a fool! I laugh thinking of you starting on a patch for my boot! You’ll last just half an hour. This library is fine. This town is what I call way too cheap!"
Oh, hum!! It's a tough job making old dogs do tricks. But our Organization was now holding almost daily sittings, and soon a bright girl thought of having band music in that now popular park. And what do you think that stingy Council did? It actually built a most fantastic band-stand; got a contract with a first-class band, and all without so much as a Councilman fainting away!! So, finally, on a hot July Sunday, two solid hours of grand harmony brought joy to many a poor Soul who had not for many a day, known that balm of comfort which can "air out our brains' dusty corridors," and bring such happy thrills, as Music, that charming Fairy, which knows no human words, can bring. Around that gaudy band-stand, at two-thirty on that first Sunday, sat or stood as happy a throng of old and young as any man could wish for; and Gadsby and his "gang" got hand-clasps and hand-claps, from all. A good band, you know, not only can stir and thrill you; for it can play a soft crooning lullaby, a lilting waltz or polka; or, with its wood winds, bring forth old songs of our childhood, ballads of courting days, or hymns and carols of Christmas; and can suit all sorts of folks, in all sorts of moods; for a Spaniard, Dutchman or Russian can find similar joy with a man from Italy, Norway or far away Brazil.
Oh, wow!! It's a tough job teaching old dogs new tricks. But our organization was now meeting almost every day, and soon a clever girl suggested having live band music in that popular park. And what do you think that stingy Council did? They actually built an amazing bandstand, signed a contract with a top-notch band, and all without a single Councilman passing out!! So, finally, on a hot July Sunday, two full hours of incredible music brought joy to many poor souls who hadn't experienced that comforting balm, which can "air out our brains' dusty corridors," and bring such delightful thrills that Music, that enchanting Fairy, can provide without the need for words. Around that colorful bandstand, at two-thirty on that first Sunday, sat or stood as happy a crowd of old and young as anyone could wish for; and Gadsby and his "gang" received handshakes and applause from everyone. A good band, you know, can not only move and excite you; it can play a soothing lullaby, a lively waltz or polka; or, with its woodwinds, bring back the old songs of our childhood, ballads from our dating days, or hymns and carols of Christmas; and can appeal to all kinds of people, in all sorts of moods; because a Spaniard, Dutchman, or Russian can find the same joy as someone from Italy, Norway, or far-off Brazil.
II
By now, Branton Hills was so proud of not only its "smarting up," but also of its startling growth, on that account, that an application was put forth for its incorporation as a city; a small city, naturally, but full of that condition of Youth, known as "growing pains." So its shabby old "Town Hall" sign was thrown away, and a black and gold onyx slab, with "City Hall" blazing forth in vivid colors, put up, amidst band music, flag waving, parading and oratory. In only a month from that glorious day, Gadsby found folks "primping up"; girls putting on bright ribbons; boys finding that suits could stand a good ironing; and rich widows and portly matrons almost out-doing any rainbow in brilliancy. An occasional shop along Broadway, which had a rattly door or shaky windows was put into first class condition, to fit Branton Hills' status as a city. Old Bill Simpkins was strutting around, as pompous as a drum-major; for, now, that old Town Council would function as a CITY council; HIS council! His own stamping ground! According to him, from it, at no far day, "Bill Simpkins, City Councilman," would show an anxiously waiting world how to run a city; though probably, I think, how not to run it.
By now, Branton Hills was so proud of not just its "upgrading," but also its impressive growth that an application for its incorporation as a city was submitted; a small city, of course, but full of that youthful condition known as "growing pains." So, its shabby old "Town Hall" sign was discarded, and a black and gold onyx slab with "City Hall" blazing in bright colors was installed, accompanied by band music, flag waving, parades, and speeches. Just a month after that glorious day, Gadsby noticed people "dressing up"; girls were wearing bright ribbons; boys discovered that suits could use a good ironing; and wealthy widows and plump matrons almost outshone any rainbow in color. Occasionally, a shop along Broadway that had a creaky door or shaky windows was put into tip-top shape to match Branton Hills' new status as a city. Old Bill Simpkins strutted around, as proud as a drum major; now that old Town Council was transforming into a CITY council; HIS council! His own territory! According to him, from it, in the near future, "Bill Simpkins, City Councilman," would show an eagerly awaiting world how to run a city; though probably, I think, how not to run it.
It is truly surprising what a narrow mind, what a blind outlook a man, brought up with practically no opposition to his boyhood wants, can attain; though brought into contact with indisputably important data for improving his city. Our Organization boys thought Bill "a bit off;" but Gadsby would only laugh at his blasts against paying out city funds; for, you know, all bombs don't burst; you occasionally find a "dud."
It’s really surprising how narrow-minded and shortsighted a man can be when he grows up with almost no challenges to his childhood desires, even when faced with undeniably crucial information for improving his city. Our Organization guys thought Bill was "a bit odd"; but Gadsby would just laugh at his complaints about spending city money, because, you know, not all bombs explode; sometimes you come across a "dud."
But this furor for fixing up rattly doors or shaky windows didn't last; for Old Bill's oratory found favor with a bunch of his old tight-wads, who actually thought of inaugurating a campaign against Gadsby's Organization of Youth. As soon as this was known about town, that mythical pot, known as Public Opinion, was boiling furiously. A vast majority stood back of Gadsby and his kids; so, old Bill's ranks could count only on a small group of rich old Shylocks to whom a bank-book was a thing to look into or talk about only annually; that is, on bank-balancing days. This small minority got up a slogan:—"Why Spoil a Good Old Town?" and actually did, off and on, talk a shopman out of fixing up his shop or grounds. This, you know, put additional vigor into our Organization; inspiring a boy to bring up a plan for calling a month,—say July,—"pick-up, paint-up and wash-up month;" for it was a plain fact that, all about town, was many a shabby spot; a lot of buildings could stand a good coat of paint, and yards raking up; thus showing surrounding towns that not only could Branton Hills "doll up," but had a class of inhabitants who gladly would go at such a plan, and carry it through. So Gadsby got his "gang" out, to sally forth and any man or woman who did not jump, at first, at such a plan by vigorous Youth, was always brought around, through noticing how poorly a shabby yard did look. So Gadsby put in Branton Hills' "Post" this stirring call:—
But the excitement over fixing up creaky doors and wobbly windows didn’t last long; Old Bill’s speeches caught the attention of a group of his old stingy friends, who actually considered starting a campaign against Gadsby’s Organization of Youth. Once word spread around town, the mythical pot known as Public Opinion started boiling vigorously. A vast majority supported Gadsby and his kids, leaving Old Bill's supporters counting only on a small group of wealthy tightwads who checked their bank statements only once a year—basically, on the days they balanced their accounts. This small minority came up with a slogan: “Why Spoil a Good Old Town?” and actually managed to talk some shop owners out of fixing up their stores or properties. This, as you can imagine, energized our Organization and inspired one kid to propose calling a month—let’s say July—“Pick-Up, Paint-Up, and Wash-Up Month.” It was clear that there were many shabby spots around town; plenty of buildings could use a fresh coat of paint, and the yards needed tidying up. This would show neighboring towns that not only could Branton Hills “groom itself,” but that its residents were eager to take on such a project and see it through. So Gadsby rallied his “gang” to get out there, and anyone who didn’t initially embrace this energetic plan was always swayed when they noticed how unkempt a shabby yard looked. Gadsby included this inspiring call in Branton Hills’ "Post":—
"Raking up your yard or painting your building is simply improving it both in worth; artistically and from a utilization standpoint. I know that many a city front lawn is small; but, if it is only fairly big, a walk, cut curvingly, will add to it, surprisingly. That part of a walk which runs to your front door could show rows of small rocks rough and natural; and grading from small to big; but no 'hit-or-miss' layout. You can so fix up your yard as to form an approach to unity in plan with such as adjoin you; though without actual duplication; thus providing harmony for all who may pass by. It is, in fact, but a bit of City Planning; and anybody who aids in such work is a most worthy inhabitant. So, cut your scraggly lawns! Trim your old, shaggy shrubs! Bring into artistic form, your grass-grown walks!"
"Raking your yard or painting your building is just a way to enhance it in value, both visually and functionally. I know many city front lawns are small, but even if yours is only moderately sized, a nicely curved walkway can surprisingly improve it. The section of the walkway leading to your front door could showcase rows of small, rough, and natural stones, ranging from small to large, but no haphazard arrangement. You can design your yard to create a sense of unity with those around you, without directly copying them, providing harmony for everyone who passes by. It’s really just a little bit of city planning, and anyone who contributes to such efforts is a valuable community member. So, trim your overgrown lawns! Shape your old, unruly shrubs! Give your grassy paths an artistic touch!"
(Now, naturally, in writing such a story as this, with its conditions as laid down in its Introduction, it is not surprising that an occasional "rough spot" in composition is found. So I trust that a critical public will hold constantly in mind that I am voluntarily avoiding words containing that symbol which is, by far, of most common inclusion in writing our Anglo-Saxon as it is, today. Many of our most common words cannot show; so I must adopt synonyms; and so twist a thought around as to say what I wish with as much clarity as I can.)
(Now, of course, while writing a story like this, given the conditions outlined in the Introduction, it's not surprising to find an occasional "rough spot" in the writing. So I hope that a critical audience will keep in mind that I'm intentionally avoiding words containing that symbol which is, by far, the most commonly used in our contemporary Anglo-Saxon writing. Many of our everyday words can't be used, so I have to choose synonyms, and I'll have to twist thoughts around to express what I want as clearly as possible.)
So, now to go on with this odd contraption:
So, now to continue with this strange device:
By Autumn, a man who took his vacation in July, would hardly know his town upon coming back, so thoroughly had thousands "dug in" to aid in its transformation.
By Autumn, a man who took his vacation in July would hardly recognize his town upon returning, so completely had thousands committed themselves to help transform it.
"Boys," said Gadsby, "you can pat your own backs, if you can't find anybody to do it for you. This city is proud of you. And, girls, just sing with joy; for not only is your city proud of you, but I am, too."
"Boys," Gadsby said, "you can give yourselves a round of applause if you can’t find anyone else to do it for you. This city is proud of you. And, girls, just sing with happiness; not only is your city proud of you, but I am proud of you too."
This was from Frank; a boy brought up to think fairly on all things. "Oh," said Gadsby laughingly, "I didn't do much of anything but boss you young folks around. If our Council awards any diplomas, I don't want any. I would look ridiculous strutting around with a diploma with a pink ribbon on it, now wouldn't I!"
This was from Frank; a guy raised to be fair-minded about everything. "Oh," Gadsby said with a laugh, "I didn't do much except boss you kids around. If our Council gives out diplomas, I don't want one. It would be silly for me to walk around flaunting a diploma with a pink ribbon on it, right?"
This talk of diplomas was as a bolt from a bright sky to this young, hustling bunch. But, though Gadsby's words did sound as though a grown man wouldn't want such a thing, that wasn't saying that a young boy or girl wouldn't; and with this surprising possibility ranking in young minds, many a kid was in an anti-soporific condition for parts of many a night.
This talk about diplomas hit this young, ambitious group like a bolt from the blue. Even though Gadsby's words suggested that an adult wouldn’t care about such things, that didn’t mean a young boy or girl wouldn’t; and with this unexpected idea taking hold in their minds, many kids found it hard to sleep for parts of many nights.
But a kindly Councilman actually did bring up a bill about this diploma affair, and his collaborators put it through; which naturally brought up talk as how to award such diplomas. At last it was thought that a big public affair at City Hall, with our Organization on a platform, with Branton Hills' Mayor and Council, would furnish an all-round, satisfactory way.
But a friendly Councilman actually introduced a bill about the diploma situation, and his colleagues pushed it through; which of course sparked a discussion on how to award such diplomas. Eventually, it was decided that a big public event at City Hall, with our Organization on stage alongside the Mayor and Council of Branton Hills, would provide a well-rounded, satisfactory solution.
Such an occasion was worthy of a lot of planning; and a first thought was for flags and bunting on all public buildings; with a grand illumination at night. Stationary lights should glow from all points on which a light could stand, hang, or swing; and gigantic rays should swoop and swish across clouds and sky. Bands should play; boys and girls march and sing; and a vast crowd would pour into City Hall. As on similar occasions, a bad rush for chairs was apt to occur, a company of military units should occupy all important points, to hold back anything simulating a jam.
Such an event needed a lot of planning; the first idea was to put up flags and bunting on all public buildings, along with a spectacular light display at night. Lights should shine from every possible spot, whether they could stand, hang, or swing; and massive beams of light should sweep across the clouds and sky. Bands should play, kids should march and sing, and a huge crowd would gather at City Hall. As has happened on similar occasions, there was a risk of a chaotic rush for chairs, so a company of military units should be positioned at all key areas to prevent any kind of overcrowding.
Now, if you think our Organization wasn't all agog and wild, with youthful anticipation at having a diploma for work out of school hours, you just don't know Youth. Boys and girls, though not full grown inhabitants of a city, do know what will add to its popularity; and having had a part in bringing about such conditions, it was but natural to look back upon such, as any military man might at winning a difficult fight.
Now, if you think our organization wasn't completely excited and full of youthful anticipation about getting a diploma for work outside of school hours, you just don’t understand youth. Boys and girls, even if they aren’t fully grown adults, know what makes a place more popular. And after playing a part in creating those conditions, it was only natural to reflect on it, just like any soldier would after winning a tough battle.
So, finally our big day was at hand! That it might not cut into school hours, it was on a Saturday; and, by noon, about a thousand kids, singing, shouting and waving flags, stood in formation at City Park, awaiting, with growing thrills, a signal which would start as big a turn-out as Branton Hills had known in all its history. Up at City Hall awaiting arrivals of city officials, a big crowd sat; row upon row of chairs which not only took up all floor room, but also many a small spot, in door-way or on a balcony in which a chair or stool could find footing; and all who could not find such an opportunity willingly stood in back. Just as a group of officials sat down on that flag-bound platform, distant throbbing of drums, and bright, snappy band music told of Branton Hills' approaching thousands of kids, who, finally marching in through City Hall's main door, stood in a solid mass around that big room.
So, our big day had finally arrived! To avoid cutting into school hours, it was held on a Saturday, and by noon, about a thousand kids, singing, shouting, and waving flags, gathered at City Park, eagerly waiting for the signal that would kick off one of the biggest turnouts Branton Hills had ever seen. At City Hall a large crowd was seated, filling row after row of chairs that not only occupied all the floor space but also spilled into doorways and balconies where any chair or stool could fit; those who couldn't find a seat stood at the back. Just as a group of officials took their places on the flag-draped platform, the distant thumping of drums and lively band music signaled the arrival of thousands of kids from Branton Hills, who finally marched in through the main door of City Hall, forming a solid mass throughout the big room.
Naturally Gadsby had to put his satisfaction into words; and, advancing to a mahogany stand, stood waiting for a storm of hand-clapping and shouts to quit, and said:—
Naturally, Gadsby had to express his satisfaction; so, stepping up to a mahogany podium, he waited for the storm of applause and cheers to settle down, and said:—
"Your Honor, Mayor of Branton Hills, its Council, and all you out in front:—If you would only stop rating a child's ability by your own; and try to find out just what ability a child has, our young folks throughout this big world would show a surprisingly willing disposition to try things which would bring your approbation. A child's brain is an astonishing thing. It has, in its construction, an astounding capacity for absorbing what is brought to it; and not only to think about, but to find ways for improving it. It is today's child who, tomorrow, will, you know, laugh at our ways of doing things. So, in putting across this campaign of building up our community into a municipality which has won acclaim, not only from its officials and inhabitants, but from surrounding towns I found, in our young folks, an out-and-out inclination to assist; and you, today, can look upon it as labor in which your adult aid was but a small factor. So now, my Organization of Youth, if you will pass across this platform, your Mayor will hand you your diplomas."
"Your Honor, Mayor of Branton Hills, its Council, and everyone gathered here:—If you would stop judging a child's abilities based on your own experiences, and instead discover what abilities a child actually possesses, our young people all around the world would show a surprising eagerness to engage in things that would earn your approval. A child's mind is an incredible thing. It has an amazing capacity to absorb information; not only can it think critically about what it learns, but it can also find ways to improve upon it. The child of today will be the one laughing at our methods tomorrow. So, as we work on building our community into a recognized municipality, admired not only by its officials and residents but also by nearby towns, I have found that our young people have a genuine willingness to help; and you can see today that the adult guidance played only a small role in this effort. Now, my Organization of Youth, please come forward, and your Mayor will present you with your diplomas."
Not in all Branton Hills' history had any boy or girl known such a thrill as upon winning that hard-won roll! And from solid banks of humanity roars of congratulation burst forth. As soon as Mayor Brown shook hands (and such tiny, warm, soft young hands, too!) with all, a big out-door lunch was found waiting on a charming lawn back of City Hall; and this was no World War mobilization lunch of doughnuts and a hot dog sandwich; but, as two of Gadsby's sons said, was "an all-round, good, big fill-up;" and many a boy's and girl's "tummy" was soon as round and taut as a balloon.
Not in all of Branton Hills' history had any boy or girl felt such a thrill as when they won that hard-earned roll! From the crowd of people, cheers and congratulations erupted. As soon as Mayor Brown shook hands (and those tiny, warm, soft young hands, too!) with everyone, a big outdoor lunch was ready on a beautiful lawn behind City Hall; and it wasn't a World War mobilization lunch of doughnuts and a hot dog sandwich; it was, as two of Gadsby's sons put it, "a full-on, satisfying feast"; and many boys' and girls' bellies were soon as round and tight as balloons.
As twilight was turning to dusk, boys in an adjoining lot shot skyward a crashing bomb, announcing a grand illumination as a fitting climax for so glorious a day; and thousands sat on rock-walls, grassy knolls, in cars or at windows, with a big crowd standing along curbs and crosswalks. Myriads of lights of all colors, in solid balls, sprays, sparkling fountains, and bursts of glory, shot, in criss-cross paths, up and down, back and forth, across a star-lit sky; providing a display without a par in local annals.
As twilight faded into night, boys in a nearby lot launched a firework that exploded in the sky, signaling a spectacular light show to cap off such a wonderful day; thousands gathered on stone walls, grassy hills, in cars, or by windows, with a large crowd lining the curbs and crosswalks. Countless colored lights, in solid orbs, sprays, sparkling fountains, and brilliant bursts, shot through the sky in crisscross patterns, up and down, back and forth, across the starry night; offering a display unmatched in local history.
But not only did Youth thrill at so fantastic a show. Adults had many a Fourth of July brought back from a distant past; in which our national custom wound up our most important holiday with a similar display; only, in our Fourths of long ago, horrifying, gigantic concussions would disturb old folks and invalids until midnight; at which hour, according to law, all such carrying-on must stop. But did it? Possibly in your town, but not around my district! All Fourth of July outfits don't always function at first, you know; and no kid, (or adult!) would think of quitting until that last pop should pop; or that last bang should bang. And so, many a dawn on July fifth found things still going, full blast.
But not only did kids get excited by such an amazing show. Adults had plenty of Fourth of Julys that reminded them of a time long ago, when our national tradition ended our biggest holiday with a similar spectacle; only, back in the day, loud, terrifying explosions would keep older folks and those not well until midnight; at which time, according to the law, all that noise was supposed to stop. But did it? Maybe in your town, but not in my area! Not all Fourth of July fireworks work perfectly right away, you know; and no kid (or adult!) would think of stopping until that last pop or bang happened. So, many a dawn on July fifth found things still going strong.
III
Youth cannot stay for long in a condition of inactivity; and so, for only about a month did things so stand, until a particularly bright girl in our Organization, thought out a plan for caring for infants of folks who had to go out, to work; and this bright kid soon had a group of girls who would join, during vacation, in voluntarily giving up four days a month to such work. With about fifty girls collaborating, all districts had this most gracious aid; and a girl would not only watch and guard, but would also instruct, as far as practical, any such tot as had not had its first schooling. Such work by young girls still in school was a grand thing; and Gadsby not only stood up for such loyalty, but got at his boys to find a similar plan; and soon had a full troop of Boy Scouts; uniforms and all. This automatically brought about a Girl Scout unit; and, through a collaboration of both, a form of club sprang up. It was a club in which any boy or girl of a family owning a car would call mornings for pupils having no cars, during school days, for a trip to school and back. This was not only a saving in long walks for many, but also took from a young back, that hard, tiring strain from lugging such armfuls of books as you find pupils laboriously carrying, today. Upon arriving at a school building, many cars would unload so many books that Gadsby said:—
Young people can't stick around inactive for long; so, things only lasted like this for about a month until a particularly smart girl in our Organization came up with a plan to look after the kids of people who had to go to work. This clever girl quickly gathered a group of girls who would volunteer during their break, giving up four days a month for this task. With around fifty girls involved, all the neighborhoods received this wonderful help; a girl would not only supervise and keep watch but would also teach, as much as possible, any little ones who hadn’t started school yet. This initiative by school-age girls was fantastic; Gadsby not only supported their dedication but encouraged the boys to come up with a similar idea; soon, there was a full set of Boy Scouts, complete with uniforms. This naturally led to the creation of a Girl Scout group, and through their joint effort, a kind of club emerged. It was a club where any boy or girl from a family with a car would pick up students without cars each morning during school days, giving them a ride to and from school. This not only saved many from long walks but also relieved young backs from the strain of carrying heavy loads of books like you see students struggling with today. When they arrived at school, many cars would unload so many books that Gadsby said:—
"You would think that a Public Library branch was moving in!" This car work soon brought up a thought of giving similar aid to ailing adults; who, not owning a car, could not know of that vast display of hill and plain so common to a majority of our townsfolks. So a plan was laid, by which a car would call two days a month; and for an hour or so, follow roads winding out of town and through woods, farm lands and suburbs; showing distant ponds, and that grand arch of sky which "shut-ins" know only from photographs. Ah; how that plan did stir up joyous anticipation amongst such as thus had an opportunity to call upon old, loving pals, and talk of old customs and past days! Occasionally such a talk would last so long that a youthful motorist, waiting dutifully at a curb, thought that a full family history of both host and visitor was up for an airing. But old folks always will talk and it will not do a boy or girl any harm to wait; for, you know, that boy or girl will act in just that way, at a not too far-off day!
"You would think that a public library branch was moving in!" This car work soon made me think about helping adults who were struggling; those who didn’t own a car, and couldn’t experience that vast landscape of hills and plains that most of our town folks enjoyed. So, a plan was made for a car to come two days a month; it would drive for about an hour, following roads that lead out of town, through woods, farmlands, and suburbs; showing off distant ponds and that beautiful sky that "shut-ins" only see in photographs. Ah, how that plan excited those who finally had the chance to reconnect with old, dear friends and reminisce about past customs and days gone by! Sometimes those chats would go on so long that a young driver, waiting patiently at the curb, might think they were hearing an entire family history from both the host and the visitor. But old folks will always chat, and it won’t hurt a boy or girl to wait; because, you know, that boy or girl will act just like that someday in the not-too-distant future!
But, popular as this touring plan was, it had to stop; for school again took all young folks from such out-door activity. Nobody was so sorry at this as Gadsby, for though Branton Hills' suburban country is glorious from March to August, it is also strong in its attractions throughout Autumn, with its artistic colorings of fruits, pumpkins, corn-shocks, hay-stacks and Fall blossoms. So Gadsby got a big motor-coach company to run a bus a day, carrying, gratis, all poor or sickly folks who had a doctor's affidavit that such an outing would aid in curing ills arising from too constant in-door living; and so, up almost to Thanksgiving, this big coach ran daily.
But, as popular as this tour plan was, it had to come to an end; school took all the kids away from outdoor activities. No one was more upset about this than Gadsby, because while Branton Hills' suburban countryside is beautiful from March to August, it also has a lot to offer in the Autumn, with its artistic displays of fruits, pumpkins, corn shocks, hay stacks, and Fall flowers. So Gadsby arranged for a big motor-coach company to operate a bus each day, offering free rides to all the low-income or sick people who had a doctor's note saying that a trip like this would help improve their health from being cooped up indoors too much; and so, right up to Thanksgiving, this big coach ran every day.
As Spring got around again, this "man-of-all-work" thought of driving away a shut-in invalid's monotony by having musicians go to such rooms, to play; or, by taking along a vocalist or trio, sing such old songs as always bring back happy days. This work Gadsby thought of paying for by putting on a circus. And was it a circus? It was!! It had boys forming both front and hind limbs of animals totally unknown to zoology; girls strutting around as gigantic birds of also doubtful origin; an array of small living animals such as trick dogs and goats, a dancing pony, a group of imitation Indians, cowboys, cowgirls, a kicking trick jack-ass; and, talk about clowns! Forty boys got into baggy pantaloons and fools' caps; and no circus, including that first of all shows in Noah's Ark, had so much going on. Gymnasts from our school gymnasium, tumbling, jumping and racing; comic dancing; a clown band; high-swinging artists, and a funny cop who didn't wait to find out who a man was, but hit him anyway. And, as no circus is a circus without boys shouting wildly about pop-corn and cold drinks, Gadsby saw to it that such boys got in as many patrons' way as any ambitious youth could; and that is "going strong," if you know boys, at all!
As spring rolled around again, this "jack-of-all-trades" thought about breaking the monotony for a shut-in invalid by bringing musicians to their room to play, or by taking a singer or a trio to perform old songs that always bring back happy memories. Gadsby planned to fund this by organizing a circus. And was it a circus? It sure was! It featured boys dressed up as both the front and back parts of animals unknown to zoology; girls parading as massive birds of dubious origin; a collection of small live animals like trick dogs and goats, a dancing pony, a group of pretend Indians, cowboys, cowgirls, a kicking trick donkey; and let’s talk about clowns! Forty boys donned baggy pants and silly hats; no circus, including the first show in Noah's Ark, had as much going on. Gymnasts from our school were tumbling, jumping, and racing; there was comic dancing; a clown band; high-flying performers, and a funny cop who didn’t wait to find out who a guy was, he just hit him anyway. And since no circus is complete without boys shouting excitedly about popcorn and cold drinks, Gadsby made sure those boys got in the way of as many patrons as any eager kid could; and that’s "going strong," if you know boys at all!
But what about profits? It not only paid for all acts which his Organization couldn't put on, but it was found that a big fund for many a day's musical visitations, was on hand.
But what about profits? It not only covered all the performances that his Organization couldn't put on, but it also turned out that there was a substantial fund available for many days of musical events.
And, now a word or two about municipal affairs in this city; or any city, in which nobody will think of doing anything about its poor and sick, without a vigorous prodding up. City Councils, now-a-days, willingly grant big appropriations for paving, lights, schools, jails, courts, and so on; but invariably fight shy of charity; which is nothing but sympathy for anybody who is "down and out." No man can say that Charity will not, during coming days, aid him in supporting his family; and it was Gadsby's claim that humans:—not blocks of buildings, form what Mankind calls a city. But what would big, costly buildings amount to, if all who work in such cannot maintain that good physical condition paramount in carrying on a city's various forms of labor? And not only physical good, but also a mind happy from lack of worry and of that stagnation which always follows a monotonous daily grind. So our Organization was soon out again, agitating City Officials and civilians toward building a big Auditorium in which all kinds of shows and sports could occur, with also a swimming pool and hot and cold baths. Such a building cannot so much as start without financial backing; but gradually many an iron-bound bank account was drawn upon (much as you pull a tooth!), to buy bonds. Also, such a building won't grow up in a night; nor was a spot upon which to put it found without a lot of agitation; many wanting it in a down-town district; and also, many who had vacant land put forth all sorts of claims to obtain cash for lots upon which a big tax was paid annually, without profits. But all such things automatically turn out satisfactorily to a majority; though an ugly, grasping landlord who lost out, would viciously squawk that "municipal graft" was against him.
And now, let’s talk about the city’s municipal affairs; or any city, where you need a solid push to get anyone to do something for the poor and sick. City Councils today happily allocate large budgets for paving, streetlights, schools, jails, courts, and so on; but they consistently shy away from charity, which is just caring for anyone who is "down and out." No one can say that Charity won’t, in the future, help him support his family; and Gadsby argued that humans: —not buildings, make up what we call a city. But what good are big, expensive buildings if all the workers can’t stay in good physical shape to perform the city’s various jobs? And it's not just about physical health; it’s also about having a mind free from stress and the stagnation that comes with a dull daily routine. So our Organization quickly got back to work, pushing City Officials and residents to build a large Auditorium where all kinds of events and sports could happen, including a swimming pool and hot and cold baths. Such a project can’t even begin without financial support; but over time, many tightly held bank accounts were tapped (like pulling a tooth!) to buy bonds. Plus, that kind of building won’t just pop up overnight; and finding a suitable location took a lot of effort; many wanted it in a downtown area, and landowners with empty lots made all sorts of claims to get cash for lots on which they paid hefty annual taxes, but with no profit. However, most of these issues tend to sort themselves out in the end; though a disgruntled, greedy landlord who got left out would angrily complain about "municipal graft" being used against him.
Now Gadsby was vigorously against graft; not only in city affairs but in any kind of transaction; and that stab brought forth such a flow of oratory from him, that as voting for Mayor was soon to occur, it, and a long list of good works, soon had him up for that position. But Gadsby didn't want such a nomination; still, thousands of townsfolks who had known him from childhood, would not hark to anything but his candidacy; and, soon, on window cards, signs, and flags across Broadway, was his photograph and "Gadsby for Mayor;" and a campaign was on which still rings in Branton Hills' history as "hot stuff!" Four aspiring politicians ran in opposition; and, as all had good backing, and Gadsby only his public works to fall back on, things soon got looking gloomy for him. His antagonists, standing upon soap box, auto truck, or hastily built platforms, put forth, with prodigious vim, claims that "our fair city will go back to its original oblivion if I am not its Mayor!" But our Organization now took a hand, most of which, now out of High School, was growing up rapidly; and anybody who knows anything at all about Branton Hills' history, knows that, if this band of bright, loyal pals of Gadsby's was out to attain a goal, it was mighty apt to start things humming. To say that Gadsby's rivals got a bad jolt as it got around town that his "bunch of warriors" was aiding him, would put it but mildly. Two quit instantly, saying that this is a day of Youth and no adult has half a show against it! But two still hung on; clinging to a sort of fond fantasy that Gadsby, not naturally a public sort of man, might voluntarily drop out. But, had Gadsby so much as thought of such an action, his Organization would quickly laugh it to scorn.
Now, Gadsby was strongly opposed to corruption; not just in local politics but in any kind of deal. That attack led to such a wave of speeches from him that, with the mayoral election approaching, he quickly became a candidate along with a long list of his accomplishments. However, Gadsby didn’t want the nomination; yet, thousands of townspeople who had known him since childhood wouldn't consider anyone else but him. Soon, his photo with “Gadsby for Mayor” appeared on window cards, signs, and flags throughout Broadway, kicking off a campaign that remains known in Branton Hills’ history as “hot stuff!” Four other politicians were running against him, all with strong support, while Gadsby had only his public service to rely on, which started to make things look grim for him. His opponents, standing on soap boxes, truck beds, or makeshift stages, boasted energetically that “our lovely city will fall back into obscurity if I am not its Mayor!” But our Organization stepped in, most of whom had just graduated High School and were maturing quickly; anyone who knows Branton Hills' history knows that if this group of loyal friends of Gadsby set out to achieve something, it would likely get things moving. To say that Gadsby's rivals were significantly shaken when word spread that his “team of supporters” was backing him would be an understatement. Two quit immediately, declaring that this is a time for Youth and no adult stands a chance against it! But two others held on, clinging to a kind of wishful thinking that Gadsby, who wasn’t naturally inclined to be a public figure, might drop out voluntarily. However, if Gadsby had even thought about doing such a thing, his Organization would have quickly scoffed at the idea.
"Why, good gracious!" said Frank Morgan, "if anybody should sit in that Mayor's chair in City Hall, it's you! Just look at what you did to boost Branton Hills! Until you got it a-going it had but two thousand inhabitants; now it has sixty thousand! And just ask your rivals to point to any part of it that you didn't build up. Look at our Public Library, municipal band, occupational class rooms; auto and bus trips; and your circus which paid for music for sick folks. With you as Mayor, boy! What an opportunity to boss and swing things your own way! Why, anything you might say is as good as law; and——"
"Wow, can you believe it!" said Frank Morgan, "if anyone should sit in that Mayor's chair at City Hall, it’s definitely you! Just look at what you’ve done to turn Branton Hills around! Before you got involved, it had just two thousand residents; now it has sixty thousand! And just ask your competitors to point to any part of it that you didn’t help build up. Look at our Public Library, the municipal band, the vocational classrooms; the bus and car trips; and your circus that paid for music for sick people. With you as Mayor, man! What an opportunity to lead and do things your way! Honestly, anything you say would be practically law; and——"
"Now, hold on, boy!" said Gadsby, "a Mayor can't boss things in any such a way as you think. A Mayor has a Council, which has to pass on all bills brought up; and, my boy, upon arriving at manhood, you'll find that a Mayor who can boss a Council around, is a most uncommon bird. And as for a Mayor's word amounting to a law, it's a mighty good thing that it can't! Why, a Mayor can't do much of anything, today, Frank, without a bunch of crazy bat-brains stirring up a rumpus about his acts looking 'suspiciously shady.' Now that is a bad condition in which to find a city, Frank. You boys don't know anything about graft; but as you grow up you will find many flaws in a city's laws; but also many points thoroughly good and fair. Just try to think what a city would amount to if a solitary man could control its law making, as a King or Sultan of old. That was why so many millions of inhabitants would start wars and riots against a tyrant; for many a King was a tyrant, Frank, and had no thought as to how his laws would suit his thousands of rich and poor. A law that might suit a rich man, might work all kinds of havoc with a poor family."
"Now, hold on, kid!" said Gadsby, "a Mayor can't run things the way you think. A Mayor has a Council that has to approve all the bills brought up, and when you grow up, you'll see that a Mayor who can really control a Council is really rare. And it's a good thing that a Mayor's word doesn't just become law! Honestly, a Mayor can't do much of anything nowadays, Frank, without a bunch of people causing a fuss over his actions looking 'suspiciously shady.' That's a bad state for a city, Frank. You guys don't know anything about corruption yet, but as you get older, you'll see lots of issues with a city's laws, but also many good and fair points. Just think about what a city would become if one person could control its lawmaking, like a King or Sultan from the past. That's why so many millions of people would rise up against a tyrant; many a King was a tyrant, Frank, with no regard for how his laws would impact the thousands of wealthy and poor. A law that might benefit a rich person could cause all sorts of problems for a struggling family."
"But," said Frank, "why should a King pass a law that would dissatisfy anybody?"
"But," Frank said, "why would a king make a law that would upset anyone?"
Gadsby's parry to this rising youthful ambition for light on political affairs was:—
Gadsby's response to this growing youthful desire for insight into political matters was:—
So, with a Mayoralty campaign on his hands, plus planning for that big auditorium, Gadsby was as busy as a fly around a syrup jug; for a mass of campaign mail had to go out; topics for orations thought up; and contacts with his now truly important Organization of Youth, took so many hours out of his days that his family hardly saw him, at all. Noon naturally stood out as a good opportunity for oratory, as thousands, out for lunch, would stop, in passing. But, also, many a hall rang with plaudits as an antagonist won a point; but many a throng saw Gadsby's good points, and plainly told him so by turning out voluminously at any point at which his oratory was to flow. It was truly miraculous how this man of shy disposition, found words in putting forth his plans for improving Branton Hills, town of his birth. Many an orator has grown up from an unassuming individual who had things worth saying; and who, through that curious facility which is born of a conviction that his plans had a practical basis, won many a ballot against such prolific flows of high-sounding words as his antagonists had in stock. Many a night Gadsby was "all in," as his worn-out body and an aching throat sought his downy couch. No campaign is a cinch.
So, with a mayoral campaign on his hands and planning for that big auditorium, Gadsby was as busy as a fly around a syrup jar. He had to send out tons of campaign mail, come up with topics for speeches, and connect with his now really important Organization of Youth. This took so many hours each day that his family hardly saw him at all. Noon was a great time for speeches, as thousands out for lunch would stop by. However, many halls echoed with applause as an opponent scored a point, but plenty of crowds recognized Gadsby’s strengths and showed their support by showing up in large numbers whenever he spoke. It was truly amazing how this shy man found the words to share his plans for improving Branton Hills, the town where he was born. Many speakers have emerged from humble beginnings, having important things to say, and through that strange ability that comes from believing their plans were practical, they won many votes against opponents who relied on flowery language. Many nights, Gadsby was "all in," as his exhausted body and sore throat sought the comfort of his soft bed. No campaign is easy.
With so many minds amongst a city's population, just that many calls for this or that swung back and forth until that most important of all days,—voting day, was at hand. What crowds, mobs and jams did assail all polling booths, casting ballots to land a party-man in City Hall! If a voting booth was in a school building, as is a common custom pupils had that day off; and, as Gadsby was Youth's champion, groups of kids hung around, watching and hoping with that avidity so common with youth, that Gadsby would win by a majority unknown in Branton Hills. And Gadsby did!
With so many people in the city, countless opinions bounced around as voting day approached. Huge crowds, throngs, and chaos filled every polling station as ballots were cast to get a party member into City Hall! If a voting station was located in a school, students had the day off; and since Gadsby was the champion of youth, groups of kids gathered around, watching and eagerly hoping, as is typical of young people, that Gadsby would win by a landslide in Branton Hills. And Gadsby did!
As soon as it was shown by official count, Branton Hills was a riot, from City Hall to City limits; throngs tramping around, tossing hats aloft; for a hard-working man had won what many thousands thought was fair and just.
As soon as the official count was announced, Branton Hills erupted in celebration, from City Hall to the city limits; crowds were cheering and throwing their hats in the air because a hardworking man had won what many thousands believed was fair and just.
IV
As soon as Gadsby's inauguration had put him in a position to do things with authority, his first act was to start things moving on that big auditorium plan, for which many capitalists had bought bonds. Again public opinion had a lot to say as to how such a building should look, what it should contain; how long, how high, how costly; with a long string of ifs and buts.
As soon as Gadsby's inauguration gave him the authority to act, his first move was to kick off the big auditorium project, for which many investors had purchased bonds. Once again, public opinion played a big role in deciding how the building should look, what it should include, its dimensions, its cost, and a long list of conditions and concerns.
Family upon family put forth claims for rooms for public forums in which various thoughts upon world affairs could find opportunity for discussion; Salvation Army officials thought that a big hall for a public Sunday School class would do a lot of good; and that, lastly, what I must, from this odd yarn's strict orthography, call a "film show," should, without doubt occupy a part of such a building. Anyway, talk or no talk, Gadsby said that it should stand as a building for man, woman and child; rich or poor; and, barring its "film show," without cost to anybody. Branton Hills' folks could thus swim, do gymnastics, talk on public affairs, or "just sit and gossip", at will. So it was finally built in a charming park amidst shrubs and blossoms; an additional honor for Gadsby.
Families submitted requests for rooms for public forums where different views on world issues could be discussed. Salvation Army officials believed a large hall for a public Sunday School class would be very beneficial. Lastly, I must refer to what this peculiar story calls a "film show," which would undoubtedly be part of such a building. Regardless of discussions or not, Gadsby insisted that it should serve as a space for everyone—men, women, and children; rich or poor; and, apart from its "film show," at no cost to anyone. The people of Branton Hills could then swim, do gymnastics, discuss public matters, or "just sit and gossip" as they pleased. So, it was eventually constructed in a beautiful park surrounded by shrubs and flowers, adding to Gadsby's honor.
But such buildings as Branton Hills now had could not fulfill all functions of so rapidly growing a city; for you find, occasionally, a class of folks who cannot afford a doctor, if ill. This was brought up by a girl of our Organization, Doris Johnson, who, on Christmas Day, in taking gifts to a poor family, had found a woman critically ill, and with no funds for aid or comforts; and instantly, in Doris' quick young mind a vision of a big city hospital took form; and, on a following day Gadsby had his Organization at City Hall, to "just talk," (and you know how that bunch can talk!) to a Councilman or two.
But the buildings Branton Hills had couldn't meet all the needs of such a rapidly growing city; sometimes, you come across people who can't afford a doctor when they're sick. This was highlighted by a girl from our group, Doris Johnson, who on Christmas Day, while delivering gifts to a needy family, discovered a woman in critical condition with no money for help or comfort. Instantly, a vision of a large city hospital formed in Doris' quick young mind; and on a subsequent day, Gadsby gathered his Organization at City Hall to "just talk," (and you know how that group can talk!) to a couple of Council members.
Now, if any kind of a building in all this big world costs good, hard cash to build, and furnish, it is a hospital; and it is also a building which a public knows nothing about. So Mayor Gadsby saw that if his Council would pass an appropriation for it, no such squabbling as had struck his Municipal Auditorium plan, would occur. But Gadsby forgot Branton Hills' landlords, all of whom had "a most glorious spot," just right for a hospital; until, finally, a group of physicians was told to look around. And did Branton Hills' landlords call upon Branton Hills' physicians? I'll say so!! Anybody visiting town, not knowing what was going on, would think that vacant land was as common as raindrops in a cloudburst. Small plots sprang into public light which couldn't hold a poultry barn, to say nothing of a big City Hospital. But no grasping landlord can fool physicians in talking up a hospital location, so it was finally built, on high land, with a charming vista across Branton Hills' suburbs and distant hills; amongst which Gadsby's charity auto and bus trips took so many happy invalids on past hot days.
Now, if there's any type of building in this huge world that costs a lot of money to build and furnish, it's a hospital; and it's also a building that the public knows very little about. So Mayor Gadsby realized that if his Council approved funding for it, there wouldn’t be any of the disputes that derailed his Municipal Auditorium project. But Gadsby overlooked the landlords in Branton Hills, all of whom thought they had “the perfect spot” for a hospital; until, eventually, a group of doctors was asked to take a look around. And did the landlords of Branton Hills consult their local doctors? Absolutely!! Anyone visiting town, unaware of what was happening, would think that vacant land was as plentiful as raindrops in a cloudburst. Small plots that couldn't even fit a poultry barn emerged as potential sites, let alone a big City Hospital. But no greedy landlord can trick doctors into promoting a hospital location, so it was eventually built on elevated land, with a lovely view over the suburbs of Branton Hills and the distant hills; where Gadsby's charity auto and bus trips took many happy patients on those hot days.
Now it is only fair that our boys and girls of this famous Organization of Youth, should walk forward for an introduction to you. So I will bring forth such bright and loyal girls as Doris Johnson, Dorothy Fitts, Lucy Donaldson, Marian Hopkins, Priscilla Standish, Abigail Worthington, Sarah Young, and Virginia Adams. Amongst the boys, cast a fond look upon Arthur Rankin, Frank Morgan, John Hamilton, Paul Johnson, Oscar Knott and William Snow; as smart a bunch of Youth as you could find in a month of Sundays.
Now it’s only fair that our boys and girls from this well-known Organization of Youth should step forward to meet you. So, I will introduce some bright and loyal girls like Doris Johnson, Dorothy Fitts, Lucy Donaldson, Marian Hopkins, Priscilla Standish, Abigail Worthington, Sarah Young, and Virginia Adams. Among the boys, take a look at Arthur Rankin, Frank Morgan, John Hamilton, Paul Johnson, Oscar Knott, and William Snow; they’re as sharp a group of youth as you could find in a month of Sundays.
As soon as our big hospital was built and functioning, Sarah Young and Priscilla Standish, in talking with groups of girls, had found a longing for a night-school, as so many folks had to work all day, so couldn't go to our Manual Training School. So Mayor Gadsby took it up with Branton Hills' School Board. Now school boards do not always think in harmony with Mayors and Councils; in fact, what with school boards, Councils, taxation boards, paving contractors, Sunday closing-hour agitations, railway rights of way, and all-round political "mud-slinging," a Mayor has a tough job.
As soon as our big hospital was built and running, Sarah Young and Priscilla Standish discovered that many girls were interested in having a night school since so many people worked all day and couldn’t attend our Manual Training School. So, Mayor Gadsby brought it up with the Branton Hills School Board. However, school boards don't always see eye to eye with Mayors and Councils; in fact, with school boards, Councils, tax boards, paving contractors, debates about Sunday closing hours, railway right-of-way issues, and all the political "mud-slinging," a Mayor has a pretty tough job.
Two of Gadsby's School Board said "NO!!" A right out-loud, slam-bang big "NO!!" Two thought that a night school was a good thing; but four, with a faint glow of financial wisdom, (a rarity in politics, today!) saw no cash in sight for such an institution.
Two members of Gadsby's School Board said "NO!!" A loud, emphatic "NO!!" Two thought that a night school was a good idea; but four, with a hint of financial insight, (a rare thing in politics today!) saw no funding available for such an institution.
But Gadsby's famous Organization won again! Branton Hills did not contain a family in which this Organization wasn't known; and many a sock was brought out from hiding, and many a sofa pillow cut into, to aid any plan in which this group had a part.
But Gadsby's famous Organization won again! Branton Hills didn't have a family that didn't know about this Organization; and many a sock was pulled out of hiding, and many a sofa pillow was sliced open, to support any plan that included this group.
But, just as funds had grown to what Mayor Gadsby thought would fill all such wants, a row in Council as to this fund's application got so hot that "His Honor" got mad; mighty mad!! And said:—
But, just as the funds had increased to what Mayor Gadsby thought would cover all such needs, a dispute in the Council about how to use this fund got so intense that "His Honor" got angry; really angry!! And said:—
"Why is it that any bill for appropriations coming up in this Council has to kick up such a rumpus? Why can't you look at such things with a public mind; for nothing can so aid toward passing bills as harmony. This city is not holding off an attacking army. Branton Hills is not a pack of wild animals, snapping and snarling by day; jumping, at a crackling twig, at night. It is a city of humans; animals, if you wish, but with a gift from On High of a brain, so far apart from all dumb animals as to allow us to talk about our public affairs calmly and thoughtfully. All this Night School rumpus is foolish. Naturally, what is taught in such a school is an important factor; so I want to find out from our Organization——"
"Why does every funding bill that comes up in this Council have to create such a fuss? Why can’t you approach these matters with an open mind? Nothing helps in getting bills passed like cooperation. This city isn’t fending off an invading army. Branton Hills isn’t a group of wild animals, growling and snapping during the day and jumping at the slightest noise at night. It’s a city of humans; animals, if you like, but with a gift from above of a brain, which sets us apart from all the mindless creatures, enabling us to discuss our public affairs in a calm and thoughtful manner. All this noise about Night School is silly. Of course, what’s taught in such a school is important, so I want to find out from our Organization——"
At this point, old Bill Simpkins got up, with:
At this point, old Bill Simpkins stood up, with:
"This Organization of Youth stuff puts a kink in my spinal column! Almost all of it is through school. So how can you bring such a group forward as 'pupils?'"
"This Youth Organization thing is really messing with my back! Most of it goes through school. So how can you present such a group as 'students?'"
"A child," said Gadsby, "who had such schooling as Branton Hills affords is, naturally, still a pupil; for many will follow up a study if an opportunity is at hand. Many adults also carry out a custom of brushing up on unfamiliar topics; thus, also, ranking as pupils. Possibly, Bill, if you would look up that word 'pupil,' you wouldn't find so much fault with insignificant data."
"A child," said Gadsby, "who had the kind of education that Branton Hills offers is, of course, still a student; many people will continue their studies if given the chance. Many adults also have the habit of refreshing their knowledge on unfamiliar topics; thus, they are also considered students. Maybe, Bill, if you checked the meaning of the word 'student,' you wouldn't criticize minor details so much."
"All right!" was Simpkins' snap-back; "but what I want to know is, what our big Public Library is for. Your 'pupils' can find all sorts of information in that big building. So why build a night school? It's nothing but a duplication!"
"All right!" Simpkins shot back, "but what I want to know is, what’s the point of our big Public Library? Your 'students' can find all kinds of information in that huge building. So why create a night school? It’s just repeating what’s already out there!"
"A library," said Gadsby, "is not a school. It has no instructors; you cannot talk in its rooms. You may find a book or two on your study, or you may not. You would find it a big handicap if you think that you can accomplish much with no aid but that of a Public Library. Young folks know what young folks want to study. It is foolish, say, to install a class in Astronomy, for although it is a 'Night School,' its pupils' thoughts might not turn toward Mars, Saturn or shooting stars; but shorthand, including training for typists amongst adults who, naturally don't go to day schools, is most important, today; also History and Corporation Law; and I know that a study of Music would attract many. Any man or woman who works all day, but still wants to study at night, should find an opportunity for doing so."
"A library," Gadsby said, "is not a school. < > It has no teachers; you can’t talk in its rooms. You might find a book or two on your studies, or you might not. It would be a big disadvantage if you think you can achieve much with only a Public Library for support. Young people know what they want to learn. It’s pointless to set up a class in Astronomy, because even though it’s a 'Night School,' students might not be interested in Mars, Saturn, or shooting stars; however, teaching shorthand and providing training for typists among adults who naturally don’t attend daytime classes is really important today; as well as History and Corporate Law; and I know that a study of Music would attract many. Anyone who works all day but still wants to study at night should find a chance to do so."
This put a stop to Councilman Simpkins' criticisms, and approval was put upon Gadsby's plan; and it was but shortly that this school's popularity was shown in a most amusing way. Branton Hills folks, in passing it on going out for a show or social call, caught most savory whiffs, as its cooking class was producing doughnuts and biscuits; for a Miss Chapman, long famous as a cook for Branton Hills' Woman's Club, had about forty girls finding out about that magic art. So, too, occasionally a cranky old Councilman, who had fought against "this foolish night school proposition," would pass by; and, oh, hum!! A Councilman is only an animal, you know; and, on cooking class nights, such an animal, unavoidably drawn by that wafting aroma, would go in, just a bit humiliatingly, and, in praising Miss Chapman for doing "such important work for our young girls," would avidly munch a piping hot biscuit or a sizzling doughnut from a young girl's hand, who, a month ago, couldn't fry a slab of bacon without burning it.
This put an end to Councilman Simpkins' criticisms, and approval was given to Gadsby’s plan. Not long after, the school’s popularity was demonstrated in a very entertaining way. People in Branton Hills, on their way to a show or a social visit, caught delightful whiffs from the cooking class that was making doughnuts and biscuits. Miss Chapman, who was well-known as a cook for the Branton Hills Women's Club, had about forty girls learning that magical skill. Occasionally, a grumpy old Councilman, who had opposed "this silly night school idea," would walk by, and, well, a Councilman is just a person, you know; and on cooking class nights, such a person, inevitably attracted by that delicious aroma, would sneak in, a bit embarrassed, and while praising Miss Chapman for doing "such important work for our young girls," would eagerly munch a hot biscuit or a freshly made doughnut from a girl who, a month ago, couldn’t even fry bacon without burning it.
V
Just as Gadsby was thinking nothing was now lacking in Branton Hills, a child in a poor family got typhoid symptoms from drinking from a small brook at a picnic and, without any aid from our famous Organization, a public clamor was forthcoming for Municipal District Nursing, as so many folks look with horror at going to a hospital. Now District Nursing calls for no big appropriation; just salary, a first-aid outfit, a supply of drugs and so forth; and, now-a-days, a car. And, to Branton Hills' honor four girls who had had nursing training soon brought, not only small comforts, but important ministrations to a goodly part of our population. In districts without this important municipal function, common colds may run into long-drawn-out attacks; and contagion can not only shut up a school or two but badly handicap all forms of public activity.
Just like Gadsby was thinking that everything was perfect in Branton Hills, a child from a poor family developed typhoid symptoms after drinking from a small stream at a picnic. Without any help from our well-known Organization, there was public outcry for Municipal District Nursing, as many people dread going to a hospital. District Nursing doesn't require a huge budget; just salaries, a first-aid kit, a stock of medications, and nowadays, a car. To Branton Hills' credit, four trained nurses quickly provided not only basic comforts but also essential care to a significant portion of our community. In areas without this crucial municipal service, common colds can turn into extended illnesses, and outbreaks can not only close one or two schools but also severely disrupt all kinds of public activities.
"Too many small towns," said Gadsby, "try to go without public nursing; calling it foolish, and claiming that a family ought to look out for its own sick. BUT! Should a high mortality, such as this Nation HAS known, occur again, such towns will frantically broadcast a call for girls with nursing training; and wish that a silly, cash-saving custom hadn't brought such critical conditions."
"Too many small towns," said Gadsby, "think they can do without public nursing; calling it silly and insisting that families should take care of their own sick. BUT! If a high mortality rate, like the one this Nation HAS experienced, happens again, those towns will desperately put out a call for girls with nursing training; and they'll regret that a foolish, money-saving practice led to such serious conditions."
At this point I want to bring forward an individual who has had a big part in Branton Hills' growth; but who, up to now, has not shown up in this history. You know that Gadsby had a family, naturally including a woman; and that woman was fondly and popularly known throughout town as Lady Gadsby; a rank fittingly matching Gadsby's "His Honor," upon his inauguration as Mayor. Lady Gadsby was strongly in favor of all kinds of clubs or associations; organizing a most worthy Charity Club, a Book Club and a Political Auxiliary. It was but a natural growth from Woman's part in politics, both municipal and National; and which, in many a city, has had much to say toward nominations of good officials, and running many a crook out of town; for no crook, nor "gang boss" can hold out long if up against a strong Woman's Club. Though it was long thought that woman's brain was minor in comparison with man's, woman, as a class, now-a-day shows an all-round activity; and has brought staid control to official actions which had had a long run through domination by man;—that proud, cocky, strutting animal who thinks that this gigantic world should hop, skip and jump at his commands. So, from, or through just such clubs as Lady Gadsby's, Branton Hills was soon attracting folks from surrounding districts; in fact, it was known as a sort of Fairyland in which all things turn out satisfactorily. This was, plainly, a condition which would call for much additional building; which also brings additional tax inflow; so Branton Hills was rapidly growing into a most important community. So, at a School Board lunch, His Honor said:—
At this point, I want to introduce someone who played a significant role in Branton Hills' growth, but who hasn’t been mentioned in this history until now. You know that Gadsby had a family, including a wife, who was affectionately and popularly known in town as Lady Gadsby; a title fitting alongside Gadsby's "His Honor" when he was inaugurated as Mayor. Lady Gadsby strongly supported all kinds of clubs and associations, organizing a worthy Charity Club, a Book Club, and a Political Auxiliary. This was a natural progression of women's involvement in politics, both local and national, which in many cities has significantly influenced the nomination of reputable officials and helped to oust many corrupt individuals; no crook or "gang leader" can withstand the pressure of a strong Women’s Club. Although it was long believed that women's intellect was inferior to men's, women, as a group, now demonstrate a wide range of capabilities and have instilled responsible leadership in official roles that were historically dominated by men—those proud, arrogant types who think the world should bend to their will. Through clubs like Lady Gadsby’s, Branton Hills quickly started attracting people from surrounding areas; in fact, it became known as a sort of Fairyland where everything turned out well. This, obviously, created a need for much more construction, which also increased tax revenue, so Branton Hills was rapidly evolving into a significant community. So, at a School Board lunch, His Honor said:—
"I trust that now you will admit that what I said long ago about making a city an attraction to tourists, is bringing daily confirmation. Oh, what a lot of politically blind city and town officials I could point out within a day's auto trip from Branton Hills! Many such an official, upon winning a foothold in City Hall, thinks only of his own cohorts, and his own gain. So it is not surprising that public affairs grow stagnant. Truly, I cannot fathom such minds! I can think of nothing so satisfying as doing public good in as many ways as an official can. Think, for an instant, as to just what a city is. As I said long ago, it is not an array of buildings, parks and fountains. No. A city is a living thing! It is, actually, human; for it is a group of humanity growing up in daily contact; and if officials adopt as a slogan, "all I can do," and not "all I can grab," only its suburban boundary can limit its growth. Branton Hills attracts thousands, annually. All of that influx looks for comforts, an opportunity to work, and good schools. Branton Hills has all that; and I want to say that all who visit us, with thoughts of joining us, will find us holding out a glad hand; promising that all such fond outlooks will find confirmation at any spot within cannon-shot of City Hall."
"I believe you can now see that my earlier comments about making a city appealing to tourists are being proven true every day. Oh, there are so many city and town officials who are politically blind within a day’s drive from Branton Hills! Many of these officials, once they get a position in City Hall, only think about their own friends and personal benefit. So it’s no surprise that public affairs stagnate. Honestly, I can’t understand such people! There’s nothing more fulfilling than doing good for the community in as many ways as an official can. Think for a moment about what a city really is. As I mentioned before, it is not just a collection of buildings, parks, and fountains. No. A city is a living entity! It is, in fact, human; because it’s a group of people interacting every day; and if officials adopt the mindset of "all I can do," rather than "all I can take," the only limit to its growth will be its suburban borders. Branton Hills attracts thousands of visitors each year. All of them seek comfort, job opportunities, and good schools. Branton Hills has all of that; and I want to say that everyone who visits with the intention of joining us will find us welcoming and ready to ensure that all their hopes will be fulfilled at any spot within cannon-shot of City Hall."
At this point, a woman from just such a group got up, saying:—
At this point, a woman from that group stood up and said:—
"I want to back up your mayor. On my first visit to your charming city I saw an opportunity for my family; and, with woman's famous ability for arguing, I got my husband to think as I do; and not an hour from that day has brought us any dissatisfaction. Your schools stand high in comparison with any out our way; your shops carry first-class goods, your laws act without favoritism for anybody or class; and an air of happy-go-lucky conditions actually shouts at you, from all parts of town."
"I want to support your mayor. During my first visit to your lovely city, I saw a chance for my family; and with a woman's well-known talent for persuasion, I got my husband to see things my way. Since that day, we haven't had any regrets. Your schools rank highly compared to those where we live; your shops offer top-quality goods, your laws are fair and apply to everyone equally; and there's a vibe of carefree happiness that really stands out in every part of town."
Now, as months slid past it got around to Night School graduation day; and as it was this institution's first, all Branton Hills was on hand, packing its big hall. An important part was a musical half-hour by its big chorus, singing such grand compositions as arias from Faust, Robin Hood, Aida, and Martha; also both boys' and girls' bands, both brass and strings, doing first-class work on a Sousa march, a Strauss waltz, and a potpourri of National airs from many lands, which brought a storm of hand clapping; for no form of study will so aid youth in living happily, as music. Ability to play or sing; to know what is good or poor in music, instills into young folks a high quality of thought; and, accuracy is found in its rigidity of rhythm.
Now, as months passed by, it was finally Night School graduation day, and since it was the first one for this institution, all of Branton Hills showed up, filling the large hall. A key part of the event was a musical half-hour featuring the big chorus, singing impressive pieces like arias from Faust, Robin Hood, Aida, and Martha. Additionally, both the boys' and girls' bands, including brass and strings, performed excellently with a Sousa march, a Strauss waltz, and a mix of national anthems from various countries, which resulted in a round of enthusiastic applause. No kind of study helps young people live happier lives quite like music. The ability to play or sing and to discern quality in music fosters a high standard of thought in young people, while the strict rhythm of music brings accuracy.
As soon as this music class was through, Gadsby brought forth soloists, duos and trios; violinists, pianists, and so many young musicians that Branton Hills was as proud of its night school as a girl is of "that first diamond." That brought our program around to introducing pupils who had won honor marks: four girls in knitting, oil painting, cooking and journalism; and four smart youths in brass work, wood-carving and Corporation law. But pupils do not form all of a school body; so a group of blushing instructors had to bow to an applauding roomful.
As soon as the music class ended, Gadsby showcased soloists, duos, and trios; violinists, pianists, and so many young musicians that Branton Hills felt as proud of its night school as a girl feels about "that first diamond." This led us to introduce students who had earned honors: four girls in knitting, oil painting, cooking, and journalism; and four talented guys in brass work, wood-carving, and corporate law. But students aren’t the only part of a school, so a group of blushing teachers had to bow to a room full of applause.
Though this was a school graduation, Mayor Gadsby said it would do no harm to point out a plan for still adding to Branton Hills' public spirit:—
Though this was a school graduation, Mayor Gadsby said it wouldn't hurt to highlight a plan for further enhancing Branton Hills' community spirit:—
"This town is too plain; too dingy. Brick walls and asphalt paving do not light up a town, but dim it. So I want to plant all kinds of growing things along many of our curbs. In our parks I want ponds with gold fish, fancy ducks and big swans; row-boats, islands with arbors, and lots of shrubs that blossom; not just an array of twigs and stalks. I want, in our big City Park, a casino, dancing pavilion, lunch rooms; and parking for as many cars as can crowd in. So I think that all of us ought to pitch in and put a bright array of natural aids round about; both in our shopping district and suburbs; for you know that old saying, that 'a charming thing is a joy always.'"
"This town is too plain and too dreary. Brick walls and asphalt pavements don’t brighten a town; they just make it feel dull. So I want to plant all kinds of growing plants along many of our curbs. In our parks, I want ponds with goldfish, fancy ducks, and big swans; rowboats, islands with arbors, and lots of shrubs that bloom; not just a bunch of twigs and stalks. In our big City Park, I want a casino, a dance pavilion, lunch rooms; and parking for as many cars as can fit. So I think we should all contribute and create a vibrant display of natural beauty around us; both in our shopping district and suburbs; because you know that old saying, 'a charming thing is a joy forever.'"
So a miraculous transformation of any spot at all dull was soon a fact. Oak, birch and poplar saplings stood along curbs and around railway stations; girls brought in willow twigs, ivy roots, bulbs of canna, dahlia, calladium, tulip, jonquil, gladiola and hyacinth. Boys also dug many woodland shrubs which, standing along railway tracks, out of town, took away that gloomy vista so commonly found upon approaching a big city; and a long grassplot, with a rim of boxwood shrubs, was laid out, half way from curb to curb on Broadway, in Branton Hills' financial district. As Gadsby was looking at all this with happy satisfaction, a bright lad from our Night School's radio class, told him that Branton Hills should install a broadcasting station, as no city, today, would think of trying to win additional population without that most important adjunct for obtaining publicity. So any man or boy who had any knack at radio was all agog; and about a thousand had ambitions for a job in it, at which only about six can work. And City Hall had almost a riot, as groups of politicians, pastors and clubs told just what such a station should, and should not broadcast; for a broadcasting station, with its vast opportunity for causing both satisfaction and antagonism, must hold rigidly aloof from any racial favoritism, church, financial or nationality criticisms; and such a policy is, as any broadcasting station will admit, most difficult of adoption. First of all stood that important position of what you might call "studio boss." Although a man in control of a station is not known as "boss," I think it will pass in this oddly built-up story. Now I am going to boost our famous Organization again, by stating that a boy from its ranks, Frank Morgan, was put in; for it was a hobby of Gadsby to put Branton Hills boys in Branton Hills Municipal jobs. So Frank, right away, got all sorts of calls for hours or half hours to broadcast "most astounding bargains" in clothing, salad oils, motor oils, motor "gas", soaps, cars, and tooth brush lubricants. With a big Fall campaign for Washington officials about to start, such a position as Frank's was chuck full of pitfalls; a stiff proposition for a young chap, not long out of High School. But Gadsby took him in hand.
So a miraculous transformation of any dull spot was soon a reality. Oak, birch, and poplar saplings lined the curbs and grew around train stations; girls brought in willow branches, ivy roots, and bulbs for canna, dahlia, caladium, tulip, jonquil, gladiola, and hyacinth. Boys also dug up many shrubs from the woods, which, placed along the train tracks outside of town, brightened up the typically dreary view when approaching a big city; a large grass area, surrounded by boxwood shrubs, was laid out halfway from curb to curb on Broadway, in Branton Hills' financial district. As Gadsby looked at all this with happy satisfaction, a bright kid from our Night School's radio class told him that Branton Hills should set up a broadcasting station, since no city today would think of trying to attract more residents without that essential tool for gaining publicity. So anyone with a knack for radio was excited; about a thousand had dreams of working in it, but only about six positions were available. City Hall nearly had a riot as groups of politicians, pastors, and clubs argued over what such a station should and shouldn't broadcast; because a broadcasting station, with its vast potential for both satisfaction and conflict, must strictly avoid any racial bias, religious, financial, or nationality criticisms; and this policy is, as any broadcasting station will admit, really tough to implement. First and foremost was that crucial role of what you might call "studio boss." Although a man in charge of a station isn't usually called "boss," I think it fits in this uniquely structured story. Now I’m going to praise our famous Organization again by mentioning that a kid from its ranks, Frank Morgan, was appointed; because it was Gadsby's hobby to place Branton Hills boys in local government jobs. So Frank quickly received all sorts of requests for hourly or half-hour segments to broadcast "incredible deals" on clothing, salad oils, motor oils, gasoline, soaps, cars, and toothbrush toothpaste. With a big fall campaign for Washington officials about to kick off, Frank's position was packed with challenges; a tough situation for a young guy fresh out of high school. But Gadsby guided him.
"Now, boy, hold your chin up, and you will find that most folks, though cranky or stubborn at first, will follow your rulings if you insist, in a civil way, that you know all our National Radio Commission's laws binding your station. Millions, of all kinds, will dial in your station; and what would highly satisfy a group in Colorado might actually insult a man down in Florida; for radio's wings carry far. You know I'll back you up, boy. But now, what would you call this station?"
"Now, kid, keep your chin up, and you'll see that most people, even if they seem grumpy or stubborn at first, will go along with your decisions if you confidently insist, in a respectful way, that you understand all the laws from our National Radio Commission that apply to your station. Millions of listeners from all walks of life will tune in to your station; what might please a group in Colorado could actually offend someone down in Florida because radio can reach far and wide. You know I'll support you, kid. But now, what do you want to call this station?"
"Oh," said our tyro-boss; "a radio station should work with initials showing its location. So a Branton Hills station could stand as KBH."
"Oh," said our new boss; "a radio station should use initials to show its location. So a Branton Hills station could be KBH."
Such initials, ringing with civic patriotism, hit Gadsby just right; his Council put it in writing; and "Station KBH" was born! Though it is not important to follow it from now on, I will say that our vast country, by tuning in on KBH, found out a lot about this Utopia.
Such initials, filled with civic pride, resonated perfectly with Gadsby; his Council formalized it in writing, and "Station KBH" was created! While it's not essential to continue this story, I will mention that our large nation, by tuning into KBH, learned a lot about this Utopia.
"You know that good old yarn," said Gadsby, "about making so good a rat-trap that millions will tramp down your grass in making a path to your front door."
"You know that classic story," said Gadsby, "about building such an amazing rat trap that millions will walk over your lawn creating a path to your front door."
VI
Now don't think that our famous Organization, having shown its worth on so many occasions, sat down without thinking of doing anything again. No, sir! Not this bunch! If a boy or girl thought of any addition to Branton Hills' popularity it was brought to Mayor Gadsby for consultation. And so, as Lucy Donaldson on a trip through a patch of woods, saw a big stag looking out from a clump of shrubs, nothing would do but to rush to His Honor to pour what thoughts that charming sight had brought up in this bright young mind. So, as Gadsby stood at City Hall's front door, this palpitating, gushing young girl ran towards him, panting and blowing from a long run:—
Now don't overthink that our well-known Organization, having proved its value many times, just sat back without considering its next move. Nope! Not this group! If a boy or girl came up with an idea to boost Branton Hills' popularity, it went straight to Mayor Gadsby for discussion. So, when Lucy Donaldson, while wandering through some woods, spotted a big stag peeking out from behind some bushes, she couldn’t help but dash over to His Honor to share all the thoughts that lovely sight inspired in her bright young mind. As Gadsby stood at the front door of City Hall, this excited, breathless girl came running towards him, panting and out of breath from her long sprint:—
"I want a zoo!!"
"I want a zoo!"
"A WHAT?"
"A WHAT?"
"A ZOO!! You know! A park with stags and all kinds of wild animals; and a duck pond, and—and—and——"
"A ZOO!! You know! A park with deer and all sorts of wild animals; and a duck pond, and—and—and——"
"Whoa! Slow down a bit! Do you want an actual zoo, or an outfit of toys that wind up and growl?"
"Whoa! Slow down! Do you want a real zoo, or a set of toy animals that wind up and growl?"
Gadsby saw that this was an addition which nobody had thought of, until now; so, grasping his young visitor's hand, joyfully, said:—
Gadsby realized that this was an idea no one had considered before; so, happily taking his young visitor's hand, he said:—
"It's a fact, Lucy!! And, as you thought of it, I'll call it,—now wait;—what shall I call it? Aha! That's it! I'll call it 'Lucy Zoo'. How's that for quick thinking?"
"It's a fact, Lucy!! And since you thought of it, I'll name it—now wait;—what should I name it? Aha! That's it! I'll call it 'Lucy Zoo'. How's that for quick thinking?"
"My! That's just grand; but what will Papa say?"
"My! That's awesome; but what will Dad say?"
Now Gadsby had known Lucy's family from boyhood, so said:—
Now Gadsby had known Lucy's family since he was a boy, so he said:—
"You inform your dad that at any sign of balking by him, I'll put HIM in Lucy Zoo, and pay a boy to prod him with a sharp stick, until his approval is in my hands." This brought such a rollicking laugh that a man mowing City Hall lawn had to laugh, too.
"You tell your dad that if he shows any hesitation at all, I'll send HIM to Lucy Zoo and hire a kid to poke him with a sharp stick until he gives me his approval." This got such a big laugh that even the guy mowing the lawn at City Hall had to chuckle, too.
Now, (Ah! But I can't avoid saying it!) our Organization was out again; but, now having grown a bit from such childish youths as had, at first stood in its ranks, a boy, now approaching manhood, and a girl, now a young woman, could solicit funds with an ability to talk knowingly in favor of any factor that a hanging-back contributor could bring up in running down such a proposition. You can always count on finding that class in any city or town upon any occasion for public works; but I can proudly say that many saw good in our Organization's plan; and Lucy soon found that out, in Old Lady Flanagan.
Now, (Ah! But I can't help but say it!) our Organization was out again; but having matured a bit from the childish youths who had initially been part of it, a boy, now nearing manhood, and a girl, now a young woman, could ask for donations with the skill to discuss any issue that a hesitant contributor might raise against such a proposal. You can always expect to find that type of person in any city or town at any public works event; but I can proudly say that many recognized the value in our Organization's plan, and Lucy quickly discovered this, especially in Old Lady Flanagan.
"Whoops! A zoo, is it? And pray, phwat can't thot crazy Gadsby think up? If our big Mayor had four sich bys as I brought into this woild; worra, worra! his parlor, halls, dinin' room an' back yard 'd furnish him wid a zoo, all right! Wid two always a-scrappin' about a ball bat or a sling shot; a brat continually a-bawlin' about nuthin'; an' a baby wid whoopin' cough, I know phwat a zoo is, widout goin' to City Park to gawk at a indigo baboon, or a pink tom cat."
"Whoops! A zoo, really? And seriously, what can't that crazy Gadsby come up with? If our big Mayor had four kids like the ones I brought into this world, wow! His living room, hallways, dining room, and backyard would definitely give him a zoo, no doubt! With two always fighting over a baseball bat or a slingshot; a kid constantly crying about nothing; and a baby with whooping cough, I know what a zoo is without having to go to City Park to stare at an indigo baboon or a pink cat."
"But," said Lucy, trying hard not to laugh; "Mayor Gadsby isn't thinking of putting in pink tom cats, nor any kind of tom cats in this zoo. It is for only wild animals."
"But," said Lucy, trying really hard not to laugh, "Mayor Gadsby isn't planning on adding pink tomcats, or any kind of tomcats, to this zoo. It's for only wild animals."
"WILD!! Say, if you could look into my back door as Old Man Flanagan quits work, an' brings back a load o' grog, you'd find thot you had wild animals roight in this town, all roight, all roight."
"WILD!! If you could peek into my backyard as Old Man Flanagan finishes work and brings back a stash of booze, you'd see that we have wild animals right here in this town, for sure."
But, as on so many occasions, this charming girl got a contribution, with Old Lady Flanagan calling out from a front window:—
But, like so many times before, this lovely girl received a contribution, with Old Lady Flanagan shouting from a front window:—
But though popular opinion was in favor of having a zoo, popular opinion didn't hand in donations to within four thousand dollars of what it would cost to install; and Gadsby and his "gang" had to do a bit of brain racking, so as not to disappoint lots of good folks who had paid in. Finally, Sarah Young thought of a rich woman living just across from City Park. This woman, Lady Standish, was of that kind, loving disposition which would bring in a cold, hungry, lost pup, or cat, and fill it up with hot food and milk. Branton Hills kids could bring any kind of a hurt or sick animal or bird; and Sarah had long known that that back yard was, actually, a small zoo, anyway; with dogs, cats, poultry, two robins too young to fly, four sparrows and a canary, almost bald. Sarah thought that any woman, loving animals as Lady Standish did, might just thrill at having a big zoo-ful right at hand. So, saying, "I'll go and find out, right now," was off as an arrow from a bow. As soon as this kindly woman found out what was on Sarah's mind, our young solicitor got a loving kiss, with:—
But even though most people supported the idea of having a zoo, they didn’t donate nearly enough money for what it would actually cost to set up. Gadsby and his crew had to come up with some solutions to avoid letting down the many good people who had already contributed. Eventually, Sarah Young remembered a rich woman living just across from City Park. This woman, Lady Standish, was the kind of person who would take in a cold, hungry, lost puppy or kitten and feed it hot food and milk. Kids from Branton Hills could bring any injured or sick animal or bird to her; Sarah had known for a long time that her backyard was practically a small zoo already, filled with dogs, cats, chickens, two young robins that couldn’t fly, four sparrows, and a nearly bald canary. Sarah figured that any woman who loved animals like Lady Standish would be thrilled at the idea of having a big zoo right next door. So, saying, "I'll go find out right now," she took off like an arrow from a bow. As soon as this kind woman realized what Sarah was thinking, our young fundraiser received a warm kiss, along with:—
"A zoo! Oh! how truly charming! What grand things Mayor Gadsby can think up without half trying!" And Sarah had to grin, thinking of Lucy, and Old Lady Flanagan's opinion of His Honor! "You may not know it, Sarah," said Lady Standish, "but John Gadsby and I had a big flirtation, way back in our school days. And HOW downcast poor Johnny was at my finding a husband out of town! But that was long, long ago, darling. So, just to sort of pacify my old pal, John, I'll gladly put up your missing four thousand; and you go to His Honor and say that I wish him all sorts of good luck with this plan."
"A zoo! Oh! how truly charming! What amazing ideas Mayor Gadsby can come up with without hardly trying!" And Sarah couldn't help but smile, thinking of Lucy and Old Lady Flanagan's opinion of His Honor! "You may not know this, Sarah," said Lady Standish, "but John Gadsby and I had a bit of a fling back in our school days. And HOW upset poor Johnny was when I married someone from out of town! But that was ages ago, darling. So, just to cheer up my old friend John, I'll happily cover your missing four thousand; and you should go to His Honor and tell him that I wish him all the best with this plan."
Now, Olympic champions must train continuously, but, customarily, in gymnasiums. But today, folks in Branton Hills' shopping district had to turn and gasp; for a young woman was sprinting wildly toward City Hall; for Sarah was in a hurry. Gadsby was just coming out, as this girl, as badly blown as Lucy was in asking for a zoo, ran up, calling out:—
Now, Olympic champions have to train all the time, usually in gyms. But today, people in Branton Hills' shopping district had to stop and stare; a young woman was sprinting frantically toward City Hall because Sarah was in a rush. Gadsby was just coming out when this girl, as flustered as Lucy was when she asked for a zoo, ran up, shouting:—
"I GOT IT!! I GOT IT!!"
"I GOT IT!! I GOT IT!!"
"Got what? A fit?"
"Got what? A workout?"
"No! I got that final four thousand dollars! It's from Lady Standish, who says that way back in school days, you and——"
"No! I got that last four thousand dollars! It’s from Lady Standish, who says that way back in school, you and——"
"Whoa!! That was back in history!" but Gadsby was blushing, and Sarah was winking, coyly.
"Whoa!! That was back in history!" but Gadsby was blushing, and Sarah was winking, playfully.
"My, now, Sarah! That's mighty good work! And as I told Lucy I'd call our zoo Lucy Zoo for thinking of it, I'll find a way to honor you, too. Aha! I'll put up a big arch, through which all visitors must pass, and call it 'Sarah Young's Rainbow Arch.' How's that?"
"My, now, Sarah! That's really impressive work! And since I told Lucy I’d name our zoo Lucy Zoo for suggesting it, I’ll figure out a way to honor you, too. Aha! I’ll put up a big arch that all visitors have to walk through and call it 'Sarah Young's Rainbow Arch.' What do you think?"
Now Sarah had a bit of natural wit; so quickly said:—
Now Sarah had a bit of natural wit, so she quickly said:—
"That's just grand if you'll bury that famous pot of gold at its foot, so I can dig it up!"
"That's great if you’ll bury that famous pot of gold at its foot, so I can dig it up!"
VII
Now that a Zoo was actually on its way, Gadsby had to call in various groups to talk about what a Zoo should contain. Now, you know that all animals can't find room in this orthographically odd story; so, if you visit Lucy Zoo, you'll miss a customary inhabitant, or two. But you'll find an array worthy of your trip. So a call was put in two big daily journals, asking for bids on animals and birds; and soon, from north, south and criss-cross points, a hunting party or a city with too many zoo animals on hand got in touch with Branton Hills, with proposals for all kinds of animals, from kangaroos to bats; and our Organization had a lot of fun planning how many it could crowd into City Park, without crowding out visitors. Finally a ballot put Lucy's zoological population as follows:—
Now That's a Zoo was actually on its way, Gadsby had to call in various groups to discuss what a Zoo should include. Now, you know that all animals can't fit into this oddly spelled story; so, if you visit Lucy Zoo, you might miss a familiar resident or two. But you'll discover a selection that's definitely worth your visit. So a request was sent out to two major newspapers, asking for offers on animals and birds; and soon, from the north, south, and everywhere in between, a hunting party or a city with surplus zoo animals reached out to Branton Hills, with proposals for all sorts of animals, from kangaroos to bats; and our Organization had a lot of fun figuring out how many they could fit into City Park without overcrowding visitors. Finally, a vote placed Lucy's zoo population as follows:—
First, according to Lucy, "an awfully, AWFULLY big hippopotamus, with a pool for its comfort;" a yak, caribou, walrus, (also with a pool,) a long fox-run, bisons, gnus, stags, (it was a stag, you know, that got this zoo plan going!), alligators, mountain lions, African lions, wild cats, wild boars, llamas, gorillas, baboons, orang-outangs, mandrils; and, according to Gadsby's boys, a "big gang" of that amusing, tiny mimic always found accompanying hand-organs. Also an aviary, containing condors, buzzards, parrots, ibis, macaws, adjutant birds, storks, owls, quail, falcons, tiny humming birds, a sprinkling of hawks, mocking birds, swans, fancy ducks, toucans; and a host of small singing birds; and oh! without fail, an ostrich family; and, last, but most important of all, a big first cousin of old Jumbo! A big glass building would hold boa constrictors, pythons, cobras, lizards, and so forth; and down in back of all this, an outdoor aquarium, full of goldfish, rainbow trout, various fancy fish and blossoming aquatic plants. All in all it would furnish a mighty amusing and popular spot which would draw lots of out-of-town visitors; and visitors, you know, might turn into inhabitants! And so things finally got around to Inauguration Day; and, knowing that no kid could sit still in school on such an occasion, it was put down for a Saturday; and, so many happy, shouting, hopping, jumping kids stood waiting for His Honor to cut a satin ribbon in front of Sarah Young's Rainbow Arch, that grown folks had to wait, four blocks back. As Gadsby was roaming around with Lucy, to find if things should start moving, old Pat Ryan, from Branton Hills' railway station, was hunting for him; finally locating him in a lunch room, and rushing in with:—
First, according to Lucy, "an incredibly, INCREDIBLY big hippopotamus, with a pool for its comfort;" a yak, caribou, walrus, (also with a pool), a long fox-run, bison, gnus, stags, (it was a stag, you know, that got this zoo idea started!), alligators, mountain lions, African lions, wild cats, wild boars, llamas, gorillas, baboons, orangutans, mandrills; and, according to Gadsby's boys, a "big gang" of that entertaining, little mimic always seen with hand-organs. Also an aviary, home to condors, buzzards, parrots, ibis, macaws, adjutant birds, storks, owls, quail, falcons, tiny hummingbirds, a sprinkle of hawks, mockingbirds, swans, fancy ducks, toucans; and a lot of small singing birds; and oh! definitely, an ostrich family; and, last but not least, a big first cousin of old Jumbo! A large glass building would house boa constrictors, pythons, cobras, lizards, and so on; and down behind all of this, an outdoor aquarium, filled with goldfish, rainbow trout, various exotic fish, and flowering aquatic plants. All in all, it would create a really entertaining and popular spot that would attract lots of out-of-town visitors; and visitors, you know, might become residents! And so it eventually came to Inauguration Day; and, knowing that no kid could stay still in school on such an occasion, it was scheduled for a Saturday; and so many happy, shouting, bouncing, jumping kids waited for His Honor to cut a satin ribbon in front of Sarah Young's Rainbow Arch, that adults had to wait four blocks back. As Gadsby wandered around with Lucy to see if things should get going, old Pat Ryan, from the Branton Hills railway station, was looking for him; finally finding him in a lunch room, and rushing in with:—
"Say! That big hop-skip-and-jump artist is down in my trunk room! I got a punch on my jaw, a crack on my snout, and a kick on my shins a-tryin' to calm him down!"
"Hey! That big jump-around artist is in my trunk room! I got a punch on my jaw, a bruise on my nose, and a kick on my shins trying to calm him down!"
"A kick and a punch? What actions!" said Gadsby. "I don't know of any hop-skip-and-jump artist. How big a man is it?"
"A kick and a punch? What moves!" said Gadsby. "I don’t know any acrobat. How big is the guy?"
"Worra, worra! It ain't no man at all, at all! It's that thing what grows in Australia, and—"
"Worra, worra! It's not a man at all, at all! It's that thing that grows in Australia, and—"
But Lucy saw light right off; and "laughing fit to kill," said:—
But Lucy saw the light immediately; and "laughing like crazy," she said:—
"Oh, ho, ho!! I know! It's that boxing kangaroo you bought from Barnum's circus!" and a charming girl was doubling up in a wild storm of giggling, ignoring old Pat's scowls.
"Oh, ho, ho!! I know! It's that boxing kangaroo you got from Barnum's circus!" a cheerful girl said, bursting into a fit of giggles while completely ignoring old Pat's frowns.
"Ah! That's him, all right," said Gadsby. "So, Pat, just put him in a burlap bag and ship him to this zoo."
"Ah! That's him, for sure," said Gadsby. "So, Pat, just toss him in a burlap bag and send him to this zoo."
"Who? I put him in a burlap bag? Say, boss! If I can pick up about six husky guys around that station; and if I can find a canvas, not a burlap, bag; and put on a gas mask, a stomach pad, two shin-guards, and——"
"Who? I put him in a burlap bag? Hey, boss! If I can get about six strong guys around that station; and if I can find a canvas, not a burlap, bag; and wear a gas mask, a stomach pad, and two shin guards, and——"
So that crowd of kids got in, at last! Now zoo animals can think, just as humans can; and it was amusing to watch a pair of boys staring at a pair of orang-outangs; and a pair of orang-outangs staring back at a pair of boys; both thinking, no doubt, what funny things it saw! And, occasionally, both animal and boy won a point! Now if you think that only young folks find any fun in going to a zoo, you probably don't go to zoos much; for many a big, rotund capitalist had to laugh at simian antics, though, probably figuring up just how much satisfaction his cash contribution brought him. Many a family woman forgot such things as a finicky child or burning biscuits. All was happy-go-lucky joy; and, at two o'clock, as Branton Hills' Municipal Band, (a part of Gadsby's Organization of Youth's work, you know) struck up a bright march, not a glum physiognomy was found in all that big park.
So that crowd of kids finally got in! Now zoo animals can think just like humans can, and it was entertaining to watch a couple of boys staring at a couple of orangutans, while the orangutans stared back at them. Both were probably thinking about how funny the other was! At times, both the animals and the boys would score a point! If you believe that only young people enjoy going to a zoo, you might not visit often; many big, round capitalists laughed at the monkeys' antics, probably calculating how much enjoyment their cash contributions brought them. Many family women forgot about picky children or burnt biscuits. It was all carefree joy, and at two o'clock, when the Branton Hills Municipal Band (part of Gadsby's Organization of Youth's work, you know) started playing a cheerful march, there wasn't a single glum face to be found in that large park.
Gadsby and Lucy had much curiosity in watching what such crashing music would do to various animals. At first a spirit akin to worry had baboons, gorillas, and such, staring about, as still as so many posts; until, finding that no harm was coming from such sounds, soon took to climbing and swinging again. Stags, yaks and llamas did a bit of high-kicking at first; Gadsby figuring that drums, and not actual music, did it. But a lilting waltzing aria did not worry any part of this big zoo family; in fact, a fox, wolf and jackal, in a quandary at first actually lay down, as though music truly "hath charms to calm a wild bosom."
Gadsby and Lucy were really curious about how the loud music would affect different animals. At first, the noise seemed to make the baboons, gorillas, and others freeze like statues, but once they realized that nothing dangerous was happening, they quickly went back to climbing and swinging. Stags, yaks, and llamas kicked their legs up a bit at first; Gadsby thought it was the drums, not the actual music, causing it. However, a gentle waltz didn’t seem to bother anyone in this big zoo family; in fact, a fox, a wolf, and a jackal, initially confused, actually lied down as if the music really "has charms to calm a wild heart."
At Gadsby's big aquarium visitors found not only fun, but opportunity for studying many a kind of fish not ordinarily found in frying pans; and, though in many lands, snails form a popular food, Lucy, Sarah and Virginia put on furious scowls at a group of boys who thought "Snails might go good, with a nut-pick handy." (But boys always will say things to horrify girls, you know.) And upon coming to that big glass building, with its boa constrictors, alligators, lizards and so on, a boy grinningly "got a girl's goat" by wanting to kiss a fifty-foot anaconda; causing Lucy to say, haughtily, that "No boy, wanting to kiss such horrid, wriggly things can kiss us Branton Hills girls." (Good for you, Lucy! I'd pass up a sixty-foot anaconda, any day, for you.)
At Gadsby's big aquarium, visitors found not only fun but also a chance to study many types of fish that you wouldn't usually see in frying pans. And even though snails are a popular food in many places, Lucy, Sarah, and Virginia frowned fiercely at a group of boys who joked that "Snails might go well with a nut-pick handy." (But boys will always say things to shock girls, you know.) When they arrived at that big glass building with its boa constrictors, alligators, lizards, and so on, a boy cheekily teased a girl by saying he wanted to kiss a fifty-foot anaconda, which made Lucy haughtily reply that "No boy who wants to kiss such gross, wriggly things can kiss us Branton Hills girls." (Good for you, Lucy! I’d pass up a sixty-foot anaconda any day for you.)
In following months many a school class was shown through our zoo's fascinating paths, as instructors told of this or that animal's habits and natural haunts; and showing that it was as worthy of sympathy, if ill, as any human. And not only did such pupils obtain kindly thoughts for zoo animals, but cats, dogs and all kinds of farm stock soon found that things had an uncommon look, through a dropping off in scoldings and whippings, and rapidly improving living conditions. But most important of all was word from an ugly, hard-looking woman, who, watching, with an apologizing sniff, a flock of happy birds, said:—
In the following months, many school classes toured our zoo's fascinating paths, as teachers shared insights about this or that animal's behaviors and natural habitats, showing that they deserved sympathy, just like any human if they were sick. Not only did the students develop kind thoughts for the zoo animals, but cats, dogs, and various farm animals also noticed a shift, experiencing fewer scoldings and punishments, along with rapidly improving living conditions. But most importantly, there was a comment from a tough-looking woman who, with an apologetic sniff, watched a flock of happy birds and said:—
"I'm sorry that I always slap and bawl out my kids so much, for I know, now, that kids or animals won't do as you wish if you snap and growl too much. And I trust that Mayor Gadsby knows what a lot of good all his public works do for us."
"I'm sorry that I keep shouting and yelling at my kids so much, because I realize now that kids or animals won't behave the way you want if you're constantly snapping at them. And I hope that Mayor Gadsby understands how much all his public projects benefit us."
Now this is a most satisfactory and important thing to think about, for brutality will not,—cannot,—accomplish what a kindly disposition will; and, if folks could only know how quickly a "balky" child will, through loving and cuddling, grow into a charming, happy youth, much childish gloom and sorrow would vanish; for a man or woman who is ugly to a child is too low to rank as highly as a wild animal; for no animal will stand, for an instant, anything approaching an attack, or any form of harm to its young. But what a lot of tots find slaps, yanks and hard words for conditions which do not call for such harsh tactics! No child is naturally ugly or "cranky." And big, gulping sobs, or sad, unhappy young minds, in a tiny body should not occur in any community of civilization. Adulthood holds many an opportunity for such conditions. Childhood should not.
Now this is a really important thing to consider, because brutality will not—cannot—achieve what kindness can; and if people could just see how quickly a "difficult" child will, through love and affection, grow into a delightful, happy young person, a lot of childish sadness and gloom would disappear. A man or woman who treats a child poorly is lower than a wild animal, because no animal will tolerate any threat or harm to its young. But a lot of kids get slaps, yanks, and harsh words for situations that don’t call for such extreme reactions! No child is naturally ugly or "difficult." And big, heaving sobs, or sad, troubled minds in a small body should not exist in any civilized community. Adulthood has plenty of opportunities for such issues. Childhood should not.
Now just a word about zoos. Many folks think that animals in a zoo know no comforts; nothing but constant fright from living in captivity. Such folks do not stop to think of a thing or two about an animal's wild condition. Wild animals must not only constantly hunt for food, but invariably fight to kill it and to hold it, too; for, in such a fight, a big antagonist will naturally win from a small individual. Thus, what food is found, is also lost; and hunting must go on, day by day, or night by night until a tragic climax—by thirst or starvation. But in a zoo, food is brought daily, with facility for drinking, and laid right in front of hoofs, paws or bills. For small animals, roofs and thick walls ward off cold winds and rain; and so, days of calm inactivity, daily naps without worrying about attack; and a carting away of all rubbish and filth soon puts a zoo animal in bodily form which has no comparison with its wild condition. Lack of room in which to climb, roam or play, may bring a zoo animal to that condition known as "soft"; but, as it now has no call for vigor, and its fighting passions find no opportunity for display, such an animal is gradually approaching that condition which has brought Man, who is only an animal, anyway, to his lofty point in Natural History, today. Truly, with such tribulations, worry, and hard work as Man puts up with to obtain his food and lodging, a zoo animal, if it could only know of our daily grind, would comfortably yawn, thankful that Man is so kindly looking out for it. With similar animals all around it, and, day by day, just a happy growth from cub-hood to maturity, I almost wish that I was a zoo animal, with no boss to growl about my not showing up, mornings, at a customary hour!
Now, just a quick word about zoos. Many people think that animals in a zoo know no comforts and are constantly terrified from living in captivity. These people often overlook a couple of things about an animal's wild life. Wild animals have to constantly hunt for food, but they also have to fight to catch it and keep it; in those fights, a big predator will usually overpower a smaller one. So, what food is found can easily be lost, and hunting goes on day and night until it ends tragically—either from thirst or starvation. In a zoo, though, food is provided every day, along with easy access to water, right in front of their paws or beaks. For smaller animals, roofs and thick walls protect them from cold winds and rain, allowing for days of calm inactivity and naps without worrying about being attacked. Plus, all waste is taken away, which helps zoo animals look much healthier than their wild counterparts. The lack of space to climb, roam, or play might leave a zoo animal feeling "soft," but since it doesn’t need to be vigorous and has no outlet for its fighting instincts, it’s slowly moving toward the same condition that has helped humans—who, after all, are just animals—reach their current status in natural history. Honestly, considering the struggles, worries, and hard work that humans endure to secure food and shelter, a zoo animal, if it could understand our daily grind, would likely just yawn in comfort, grateful that humans are so kindly taking care of it. Surrounded by similar animals and enjoying a steady growth from cubhood to maturity, I almost wish I were a zoo animal, free from a boss nagging about me not showing up at a usual hour in the mornings!
VIII
Now, as our Organization of Youth is rapidly growing up, a young crowd, too young to join it at first, is coming up; imbibing its "why-not-do-it-now?" spirit. So, as Gadsby stood in front of that big Municipal Auditorium (which that group, you know, had had built), Marian Hopkins, a small girl, in passing by, saw him, and said:—
Now, as we Organization of Youth is quickly growing, a young crowd, too young to join at first, is emerging; soaking in its "why-not-do-it-now?" attitude. So, as Gadsby stood in front of that big Municipal Auditorium (which that group, you know, had built), Marian Hopkins, a small girl, saw him as she passed by and said:—
"I think Branton Hills ought to buy a balloon."
"I think Branton Hills should buy a balloon."
"Balloon? Balloon? What would this city do with a balloon? Put a string on it so you could run around with it?"
"Balloon? Balloon? What is this city going to do with a balloon? Tie a string to it so you can run around with it?"
"No; not that kind of a balloon, but that big, zooming kind that sails way up high, with a man in it."
"No; not that type of balloon, but that large, soaring one that flies way up high, with a person inside."
"Oh! Ha, ha! You think an air-craft is a balloon! But what would—Aha! An airport?"
"Oh! Ha, ha! You think an aircraft is a balloon! But what about—Aha! An airport?"
"Uh-huh; but I didn't know how to say it."
"Yeah; but I didn't know how to say it."
"By cracky!" said His Honor. "I thought this town was about through improving. But an airport would add a bit to it; now wouldn't it?"
"Wow!" said His Honor. "I thought this town was done improving. But an airport would really boost it; wouldn't you agree?"
"Youth, or, I should say, childhood, has just shown that Branton Hills is shy on a most important acquisition," and Old Bill Simpkins just had to blurt out:—
"Youth, or, I should say, childhood, has just shown that Branton Hills is lacking in a very important asset," and Old Bill Simpkins just had to blurt out:—
"And, naturally, it calls for cash! CASH! CASH! CASH!! What will this town amount to if it blows in dollars so fast?"
"And, of course, it needs money! MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!! What will this town come to if it spends cash so quickly?"
"And," said Gadsby, "what will it amount to, if it don't?"
"And," said Gadsby, "what will it come to if it doesn't?"
That put a gag on Old Bill. Councilman Banks, though, was curious to know about Marian's proposition, saying:—
That silenced Old Bill. Councilman Banks, however, was eager to hear about Marian's proposal, saying:—
"It is probably a plan for buying Christmas toys for all Branton Hills kids."
"It’s probably a plan to buy Christmas toys for all the kids in Branton Hills."
But tiny Marian, with a vigorous stamp of a tiny foot, swung right back with:—
But little Marian, with a strong stamp of her small foot, immediately responded with:—
"NO, SIR!! Santa Claus will bring us our gifts! But I thought of having a—what did you call it, Mayor Gadsby?"
"NO, SIR!! Santa Claus will bring us our gifts! But I thought of having a—what did you call it, Mayor Gadsby?"
"This child thinks Branton Hills should build an airport, and I think so, too. If our inhabitants, such as this tot, can think up such things, all adults should pack up, and vanish from municipal affairs. All right, Marian; our City Council, your City Council, my young patriot, will look into this airport plan for you."
"This kid thinks Branton Hills should build an airport, and I agree. If our residents, like this little one, can come up with such ideas, then all the adults should step back from local affairs. Alright, Marian; our City Council, your City Council, my young patriot, will explore this airport plan for you."
So, as on similar occasions months ago, word that land was again cropping up in Gadsby's mind, brought out a flood of landlords with vacant lots, all looking forward to disposing of a dump worth two dollars and a half, for fifty thousand. Now an airport must occupy a vast lot of land, so cannot stand right in a City's shopping district; but finally a big tract was bought, and right in back of tiny Marian's back yard! Instantly, City Hall was full of applicants for flying Branton Hills' first aircraft. To Gadsby's joy, amongst that bunch was Harold Thompson, an old Organization lad, who was known around town as a chap who could do about anything calling for brains. As an airport is not laid out in a day, Harold got busy with paid aviators and soon was piloting a craft without aid; and not only Branton Hills folks, but old aviators, saw in Harold, a "bird-man" of no small ability. And so tiny Marian's "vision" was a fact; just as "big girl" Lucy's Zoo; and, as with all big City affairs, an Inauguration should start it off. Now, on all such affairs you always find a "visitor of honor"; and on this grand day Gadsby couldn't think of anybody for that important post but Marian. And, as it would occur in August, any day would do, as that is a school vacation month.
So, just like a few months back, when Gadsby started thinking about land again, a bunch of landlords suddenly showed up with vacant lots, all eager to sell a piece of junk worth two and a half dollars for fifty thousand. An airport needs a lot of space, so it can't be right in a city's shopping district; but eventually, a large plot was purchased, and it was right behind tiny Marian's backyard! Immediately, City Hall was buzzing with people wanting to fly Branton Hills' first airplane. To Gadsby's excitement, among that group was Harold Thompson, an old buddy from the Organization, known in town as a guy who could tackle anything that required some smarts. Since building an airport takes time, Harold got to work with hired pilots and soon was flying a plane on his own; not just Branton Hills residents, but experienced pilots recognized Harold as a capable "bird-man." And so tiny Marian's "vision" became a reality, just like "big girl" Lucy's Zoo; and, like all major city events, an Inauguration was set to kick it all off. For these kinds of events, there's always a "guest of honor," and on this special day, Gadsby couldn't think of anyone more suited for that important role than Marian. And since it would be in August, any day would work, as that’s when school is out.
And what a mob stood, or sat, on that big airport, waiting for a signal from young Marian which would start Harold aloft, on Branton Hills' initial flight! Almost all brought a lunch and camp-stools or folding chairs; and, as it was a hot day, thousands of gay parasols, and an array of bright clothing on our school-girls, had that big lot looking as brilliant as a florist's window at Christmas.
And what a crowd stood, or sat, at that big airport, waiting for a signal from young Marian that would send Harold off on Branton Hills' first flight! Almost everyone brought a lunch and camp stools or folding chairs; and since it was a hot day, thousands of colorful parasols and a variety of bright clothing on our schoolgirls made that big area look as vibrant as a florist's window at Christmas.
Our young visitor of honor was all agog with joy; and, I think, possibly a touch of vanity; for what child wouldn't thrill with thousands watching? But though Marian had always had good clothing, coming from a family who could afford it, no tot, in all history, had so glorious an outfit as that which about all Branton Hills' population saw on that platform, amidst flags, bunting and our big Municipal Band. As an airship is a simulation of a bird; and as a bird, to a child, is not far from a fairy, Marian had gaudy fairy wings, a radiant cloak of gold, a sparkling gown all aglow with twinkling stars, and a long glass wand, with a star at its top. As soon as all was in condition Gadsby told Marian to stand up. This brought that vast crowd up, also; and Gadsby said:—
Our young guest of honor was filled with joy, and maybe a bit of vanity, because what kid wouldn't feel excited with thousands of people watching? Although Marian always wore nice clothes, thanks to her family's affluence, no child in history had such a spectacular outfit that the entire population of Branton Hills could see on that stage, surrounded by flags, bunting, and our large Municipal Band. Just as an airship mimics a bird, and a bird seems almost magical to a child, Marian wore bright fairy wings, a shimmering gold cloak, a sparkling dress glowing with twinkling stars, and a long glass wand topped with a star. Once everything was ready, Gadsby told Marian to stand up. This got the entire crowd to their feet as well, and Gadsby said:—
Up shot a tiny arm; and Harold, watching from his cockpit, sang out:—"CONTACT!!"
Up shot a tiny arm; and Harold, watching from his cockpit, shouted:—"CONTACT!!"
A vigorous twist of his ship's gigantic "fan" a shout, a roar, a whizz, a mighty cloud of dust, and amid a tornado of clapping, shouts, and band music, Branton Hills was put on aviation's map. Way, way up, so far as to look as small as a toy, Harold put on a show of banking, rolling and diving, which told Gadsby that, still again, had Branton Hills found profit in what its Organization of Youth, and, now, its small kids, had to say about improving a town.
A powerful spin of his ship's huge "fan," a shout, a roar, a whoosh, a massive cloud of dust, and in the middle of a whirlwind of applause, cheers, and band music, Branton Hills was marked on the aviation map. Up high, so far that it looked like a toy, Harold put on a display of banking, rolling, and diving, which made Gadsby realize that, once again, Branton Hills had benefited from what its Organization of Youth, and now, its little kids, had suggested about making the town better.
During that box-lunch picnic, many of our "big girls" brought so much food to Marian that Dad and Ma had to stand guard against tummy pains. And what a glorious, jolly occasion that picnic was! Gay band music, songs, dancing, oratory; and a grand all-round "howdy" amongst old inhabitants and arriving tourists soon was transforming that big crowd into a happy group, such as it is hard to find, today, in any big city; cold, distant, and with no thought by its politicians for anybody in it; and Gadsby found, around that big airport, many a man, woman and child who was as proud of him as was his own family.
During that box-lunch picnic, many of our "big girls" brought so much food to Marian that Dad and Mom had to keep an eye out for upset stomachs. And what a fantastic, joyful day that picnic was! Upbeat band music, songs, dancing, speeches; and a warm, friendly "hello" among longtime residents and visiting tourists quickly turned that large crowd into a happy group, something that's hard to find today in any big city; cold, distant, and with politicians who seem to care about no one. And Gadsby found many men, women, and children around that busy airport who were as proud of him as his own family was.
IX
I think that now you should know this charming Gadsby family; so I will bring forth Lady Gadsby, about whom I told you at Gadsby's inauguration as Mayor; a loyal church woman with a vocal ability for choir work; and, with good capability on piano or organ, no woman could "fill in" in so many ways; and no woman was so willing, and quick to do so. Gadsby had two sons; bright lads and popular with all. Julius was of a studious turn of mind, always poring through books of information; caring not what kind of information it was, so long as it was information, and not fiction. Gadsby had thought of his growing up as a school instructor, for no work is so worthy as imparting what you know to any who long to study. But William! Oh, hum!! Our Mayor and Lady Gadsby didn't know just what to do with him; for all his thoughts clung around girls and fashions in clothing. Probably our High School didn't contain a girl who didn't think that, at no distant day, Bill Gadsby would turn, from a callow youth, into a "big catch" husband; for a Mayor's son in so important a city as ours was a mark for any girl to shoot at. But Bill was not of a marrying disposition; loving girls just as girls, but holding out no hand to any in particular. Always in first class togs, without missing a solitary fad which a young man should adopt, Gadsby's Bill was a lion, in his own right, with no girl in sight who had that tact through which a lasso could land around his manly throat. Gadsby had many a laugh, looking back at his own boyhood days, his various flirtations and such wild, throbbing palpitations as a boy's flirtations can instill; and looking back through just such ogling groups as now sought his offspring; until a girl, oh, so long ago, had put a stop to all such flirtations, and got that lasso on "with a strangling hold," as Gadsby says; and it is still on, today! But this family was not all boys. Oh, my, no! Two girls also sat around that family board. First, following William, was Nancy, who, as Gadsby laughingly said, "didn't know how to grow;" and now, in High School, was "about as big as a pint of milk;" and of such outstanding charm that Gadsby continually got solicitations to allow photographing for soft-drink and similar billboard displays.
I believe that now you should meet the charming Gadsby family; so let me introduce you to Lady Gadsby, whom I mentioned during Gadsby's inauguration as Mayor; a dedicated church woman with a talent for choir singing; and, with her good skills on piano and organ, no woman could "fill in" in so many ways, and no woman was more eager and quick to do so. Gadsby had two sons; bright boys who were well-liked by everyone. Julius was the intellectual type, always absorbed in books of knowledge; he didn't care what kind of information it was, as long as it was informative and not fictional. Gadsby had hoped he would grow up to be a teacher, since no job is as fulfilling as sharing what you know with those who want to learn. But William! Oh, boy!! Our Mayor and Lady Gadsby didn’t quite know what to do with him; because all his thoughts revolved around girls and fashion. Probably no girl in our High School didn’t think that, sooner or later, Bill Gadsby would transform from a naive youth into a "big catch" husband; since a Mayor's son in such an important city as ours was a prime target for any girl. But Bill wasn’t the marrying type; he loved girls just as girls, but didn’t reach out to any one in particular. Always dressed in the latest styles, never missing a single trend a young man should follow, Gadsby’s Bill was a standout, with no girl in sight who had the charm to snag him. Gadsby often laughed, reflecting on his own boyhood days, his various flings, and those wild, exciting feelings that a boy's crushes can inspire; reminiscing about just such admiring groups that now surrounded his sons; until a girl, oh, so long ago, put an end to all such flings, lassoing him "with a strangling hold," as Gadsby would say; and that lasso is still there today! But this family wasn't just boys. Oh, no! Two girls also gathered around that family table. First, after William, was Nancy, who, as Gadsby joked, "didn't know how to grow;" and now, in High School, was "about as big as a pint of milk;" and so charming that Gadsby frequently received requests to allow her to be photographed for soft-drink and other billboard ads.
"No, sir!! Not for any sort of pay!! In allowing public distribution of a girl's photo you don't know into what situations said photos will land. I find, daily, photographs of girls blowing about vacant lots, all soggy from rains; also in a ditch, with its customary filth; or stuck up on a brick wall or drawn onto an imaginary body showing a brand of tights or pajamas. No, sir!! Not for my girl!!"
"No way!! Not for any kind of payment!! When you let people share a girl's photo, you have no idea what situations those photos will end up in. Every day, I see photos of girls hanging around empty lots, all wet from the rain; also in a ditch, surrounded by the usual mess; or plastered on a brick wall or drawn onto some imaginary body showing off a brand of tights or pajamas. No way!! Not for my girl!!"
Fourth in this popular family was Kathlyn, of what is known as a "classical mold;" with a brain which, at no distant day, will rank high in Biology and Microscopy; for Kathlyn was of that sort which finds fascination in studying out many whats and whys amongst that vast array of facts about our origin. This study, which too many young folks avoid as not having practical worth had a strong hold on Kathlyn, who could not sanction such frivolous occupations as cards, dancing, or plain school gossip. Not for an instant! Kathlyn thought that such folks had no thoughts for anything but transitory thrills. But in Biology!! Ah!! Why not study it, and find out how a tiny, microscopic drop of protoplasm, can, through unknown laws grow into living organisms, which can not only go on living, but can also bring forth offspring of its kind? And not only that. As said offspring must combat various kinds of surroundings and try various foods, why not watch odd variations occur, and follow along, until you find an animal, bird, plant or bug of such a total dissimilarity as to form practically, a class actually apart from its original form? Kathlyn did just that; and Gadsby was proud of it; and I think, just a bit curious on his own part as to occasional illustrations in this studious young lady's school books!
Fourth in this popular family was Kathlyn, who was what you’d call a "classical type;" with a mind that, before long, would stand out in Biology and Microscopy; because Kathlyn was the kind of person who was fascinated by figuring out the many whats and whys behind the huge collection of facts about our origins. This study, which too many young people dismiss as having no practical value, captivated Kathlyn, who would never approve of silly activities like playing cards, dancing, or just gossiping at school. Not even for a second! Kathlyn believed that those who indulged in such things only cared about momentary thrills. But Biology!! Ah!! Why not dive into it and discover how a tiny, microscopic drop of protoplasm can, through unknown laws, grow into living organisms that not only survive but also produce offspring of the same kind? And it doesn’t stop there. Since those offspring have to deal with different environments and try out various foods, why not observe the strange changes that happen and follow along until you find an animal, bird, plant, or bug that is so different in form that it actually forms a class completely separate from its original type? Kathlyn did just that; and Gadsby was proud of her; and I think he was just a bit curious about the occasional illustrations in this studious young lady's school books!
Now it is known by all such natural "faddists" that any such a study has points in common with a branch akin to it; and Kathlyn was not long in finding out that Biology, with its facts of animal origin, could apply to a practical control of bugs on farms. (This word, "bugs," is hardly Biological; but as Kathlyn is in this story, with its strict orthographical taboo, "bugs" must unavoidably supplant any classical nomination for such things.)
Now everyone who follows natural trends knows that any study has similarities with a related field; and Kathlyn quickly discovered that Biology, with its facts about animal origins, could be useful for controlling pests on farms. (The term "bugs" isn't exactly scientific, but since Kathlyn is part of this story, and there's a strict rule about spelling, "bugs" has to replace any formal name for those creatures.)
So, Mayor Gadsby sought Branton Hills' Council's approval for a goodly sum; not only for such control, but also for study as to how to plant, in ordinary soil, and not risk losing half a crop from worms, slugs and our awkwardly-brought-in "bugs." This appropriation was a sort of prod, showing this Council that publicity of any first-class kind was good for a city; and was casting about for anything which would so act, until Gadsby's son, Bill, (who, you know, thought of nothing but girls and "dolling up,") found that Branton Hills had no distinction of its own in outfits for man or woman, so why not put up a goal of, say fifty dollars, for anybody who could think up any worthy "stunt" in clothing; which should go out as "Branton Hills' This" or "Branton Hills' That." Possibly just a form of hat-brim, a cut of coat-front, or a sporting outfit. And our worthy Council did put up that goal, and many brought all sorts of plans to City Hall. And Bill won, by thinking up a girls' (always girls, with Bill!) hiking outfit, consisting of a skirt with a rain-proof lining, which could, during a storm, form a rain-suit by putting it on, as Bill said, "by substituting outwards for inwards." (This will hit Bill amusingly, as days go by!) Going with it was a shirt with a similar "turn-out" facility, and a hiking boot with high tops as guards against thorns and burs; but which, by undoing a clasp, would slip off; and, LO!! you had a low-cut Oxford for ordinary occasions! In about a month a big cotton mill had work going full blast on "Branton Hills' Turn-it-out Sport and Hiking Outfit," and a small boot-shop got out a pair of Bill's "two-part boots," though saying that it would "probably fall apart without warning!" But Kathlyn put on a pair and found it most satisfactory for a long, rough hill-climb, hunting for bird and animal forms for Biological study. This proof of Branton Hills' goods was soon known in surrounding towns, and that critical boot-shop and big cotton mill had hard work to fill calls from Canada, Holland, Russia, Spain and Australia! And Bill was put upon Branton Hills' Roll of Honor.
So, Mayor Gadsby sought the Branton Hills Council's approval for a significant amount of funding; not only for managing this, but also to study how to plant in regular soil without risking losing half a crop to worms, slugs, and those pesky "bugs." This funding was kind of a push to show the Council that high-quality publicity was good for the city; they were looking for anything that could achieve that, until Gadsby's son, Bill, (who, let’s be honest, only cared about girls and dressing up) realized that Branton Hills had no unique style of clothing for men or women. So, why not set a goal of, say, fifty dollars, for anyone who could come up with a worthy clothing "stunt" that could be marketed as "Branton Hills' This" or "Branton Hills' That." It could be anything from a specific hat-brim style, a cut for coat fronts, or a sporty outfit. The Council agreed to the goal, and many ideas were brought to City Hall. Bill won, by coming up with a girls' (always girls, with Bill!) hiking outfit, which included a skirt with a rain-proof lining that could turn into a rain-suit during a storm, as Bill put it, "by switching it inside out." (This will be amusing to Bill as time goes on!) It also came with a shirt that had a similar "turn-out" feature, and hiking boots with high tops to protect against thorns and burrs; but you could undo a clasp and, voila! you had a low-cut Oxford for regular occasions! Within about a month, a large cotton mill was working at full capacity on "Branton Hills' Turn-it-out Sport and Hiking Outfit," and a small shoe shop produced a pair of Bill's "two-part boots," although they warned it might "fall apart without warning!" But Kathlyn tried on a pair and found them very satisfactory for a long, rough hill climb while searching for bird and animal specimens for biological study. This proof of Branton Hills' products quickly spread to nearby towns, and that picky shoe shop and the big cotton mill struggled to keep up with orders from Canada, Holland, Russia, Spain, and Australia! And Bill was added to Branton Hills' Roll of Honor.
X
Now I'll drop civic affairs for a bit, and go on to a most natural act in this city of many young chaps and charming young girls which was slowly working up all through this history, as Mayor Gadsby had occasion to find out, sitting comfortably on his porch on a hot, sultry August night. Amidst blossoming shrubs, a dim form slowly trod up his winding pathway. It was a young man, plainly trying to act calmly, but couldn't. It was Frank Morgan, our radio broadcasting "boss", you know, who, for many a month, had shown what a romantic public calls "a crush" for Gadsby's young Nancy.
Now I'll put aside civic matters for a moment and move on to a very natural event in this city filled with young guys and attractive girls that had been gradually unfolding throughout this story, as Mayor Gadsby discovered while relaxing on his porch on a hot, muggy August night. Among the blooming shrubs, a shadowy figure slowly walked up his winding path. It was a young man, clearly trying to stay composed but failing. It was Frank Morgan, our radio broadcasting "boss," who had, for many months, been showing what the romantic public calls "a crush" on Gadsby's young Nancy.
So a jolly call of:—"What's on your mind, boy?" rang out, as Frank sank wiltingly into a hammock, wiping his brow of what I actually know was not natural humidity from an August night! Now Gadsby, who was, as I said, a gay Lothario in his own youth, saw right off what was coming, and sat back, waiting. Finally, finishing a bad attack of coughing, (though Frank hadn't any cold!), that young man said:—
So a cheerful voice called out, “What’s bothering you, kid?” as Frank slumped into a hammock, wiping his forehead of what I definitely know was not just the natural humidity of an August night! Now Gadsby, who as I mentioned was quite the charmer in his younger days, immediately understood what was happening and leaned back, waiting. After finally getting over a bad coughing fit (even though Frank wasn’t sick!), the young man said:—
Nancy had always had a strong liking for Frank. Both had grown up in Branton Hills from babyhood; and Gadsby thought back about that lasso which had brought him Lady Gadsby. Now asking a girl's Dad for that young lady's hand is no snap for any young swain; and Gadsby was just that kind of a Dad who would smooth out any bumps or rough spots in such a young swain's path. Nancy wasn't a child, now, but a grown-up young woman; so Gadsby said:—
Nancy had always really liked Frank. They both grew up in Branton Hills since they were babies; and Gadsby remembered that lasso that had brought him Lady Gadsby. Asking a girl's dad for her hand is never easy for a young guy; and Gadsby was the kind of dad who would clear any obstacles in a young guy's way. Nancy wasn't a child anymore; she was a young woman, so Gadsby said:—
"Frank, Lady Gadsby and I know all about how much you think of Nancy; and what Nancy thinks of you. So, if you want to marry, our full wish is for a long and happy union. Nancy is out in that arbor, down this back path; and I'll watch that nobody disturbs you two for an hour."
"Frank, Lady Gadsby and I know exactly how much you care about Nancy and how Nancy feels about you. So, if you're looking to get married, we wholeheartedly wish for a long and happy marriage. Nancy is out in that arbor, down this back path, and I'll make sure no one interrupts you two for an hour."
At this grand turn of affairs, Frank could only gasp:—"OH-H-H!!" and a shadowy form shot down that dusky path; and from that moonlit arbor, anybody knowing how a man chirps to a canary bird, would know that two young birds put a binding approval upon what His Honor had just said!!
At this big turn of events, Frank could only gasp:—"OH-H-H!!" and a shadowy figure rushed down that dark path; and from that moonlit grove, anyone who knew how a man sings to a canary would realize that two young birds gave a solid thumbs-up to what His Honor had just said!!
Many a man has known that startling instant in which Dan Cupid, that busy young rascal, took things in hand, and told him that his baby girl was not a baby girl now, and was about to fly away from him. It is both a happy and a sad thrill that shoots through a man at such an instant. Happy and joyous at his girl's arrival at maturity; sad, as it brings to mind that awkward fact that his own youth is now but a myth; and that his scalp is showing vacant spots. His baby girl in a bridal gown! His baby girl a Matron! His baby girl proudly placing a grandchild in his lap!! It's an impossibility!! But this big world is full of this kind of impossibility, and will stay so as long as Man lasts.
Many men have experienced that shocking moment when Cupid, that mischievous little guy, took charge and made them realize their little girl was not a little girl anymore and was about to leave them. There’s a mix of happiness and sadness that rushes through a man at that moment. Happy and proud of his daughter's growth into adulthood; sad because it reminds him that his own youth is now just a memory, and that his hair is thinning out. His little girl in a wedding dress! His little girl as a mom! His little girl proudly putting a grandchild in his lap! It seems impossible! But this big world is full of impossible things, and it will remain that way as long as people exist.
So Nancy, tiny, happy, laughing Nancy, was "found" through a conspiracy by Dan Cupid and Frank Morgan; and right in all glory of youth. Youth!! Ah, what a word!! And how transitory! But, how grand! as long as it lasts. How many millions in gold would pour out for an ability to call it all back, as with our musical myth, Faust. During that magic part of a child's growth this world is just a gigantic inquiry box, containing many a topic for which a solution is paramount to a growing mind. And to whom can a child look, but us adults? Any man who "can't stop now" to talk with a child upon a topic which, to him is "too silly for anything," should look back to that day upon which that topic was dark and dubious in his own brain. A child who asks nothing will know nothing. That is why that "bump of inquiry" was put on top of our skulls.
So Nancy, small, cheerful, laughing Nancy, was "found" through a scheme by Cupid and Frank Morgan; and right in all her youthful glory. Youth!! Ah, what a word!! And how fleeting! But, how amazing! as long as it lasts. How many millions in gold would be spent to bring it all back, just like in our musical myth, Faust. During that magical phase of a child’s development, the world is just a huge question box, filled with many topics where finding answers is crucial for a growing mind. And who can a child turn to, but us adults? Anyone who "can't stop now" to talk with a child about a topic that seems "too silly" for them should remember the day when that topic was dark and uncertain in their own mind. A child who asks nothing will know nothing. That’s why that "bump of inquiry" was placed on top of our heads.
XI
But to go back to Nancy. It was in August that Frank had stumblingly told Gadsby of his troth; and so, along in April, Branton Hills was told that a grand church ritual would occur in May. May, with its blossoms, birds and balmy air! An idyllic month for matrimony. I wish that I could call this grand church affair by its common, customary nomination; but that word can't possibly crowd into this story. It must pass simply as a church ritual.
But to return to Nancy. It was in August when Frank awkwardly informed Gadsby about his engagement; and then, in April, Branton Hills learned that a big church ceremony would take place in May. May, with its flowers, birds, and pleasant weather! A perfect month for a wedding. I wish I could call this big church event by its usual name; but that word just doesn't fit into this story. It has to be referred to simply as a church ritual.
All right; so far, so good. So, along into April all Branton Hills was agog, awaiting information as to that actual day; or, I should say, night.
All right; so far, so good. So, as April rolled in, everyone in Branton Hills was buzzing, waiting for information about that specific day; or, I should say, night.
Gadsby's old Organization of Youth was still as loyal to all in it as it was, way back in days of its formation; days of almost constantly running around town, soliciting funds for many a good Municipal activity. Finally this group got cards announcing that on May Fourth, Branton Hills' First Church would admit all who might wish to aid in starting Nancy and Frank upon that glamorous path to matrimonial bliss.
Gadsby's old Organization of Youth remained just as loyal to its members as it had been back when it was first formed, during those times of frequently running around town to raise money for various good local activities. Eventually, this group received cards saying that on May Fourth, Branton Hills' First Church would welcome everyone who wanted to help launch Nancy and Frank on their exciting journey to marital happiness.
May Fourth was punctual in arriving; though many a young girl got into that flighty condition in which a month drags along as though in irons, and clock-hands look as if stuck fast. But to many girls, also, May Fourth was not any too far away; for charming gowns and dainty hats do not grow upon shrubs, you know; and girls who work all day must hurry at night, at manipulating a thousand or so things which go towards adorning our girls of today.
May Fourth arrived right on time, even though many young girls felt that slow, restless feeling in which a month seems to drag on forever and the clock hands appear to be stuck. But for many girls, May Fourth was also just around the corner; after all, pretty dresses and cute hats don't just grow on trees, and girls who work all day have to hustle at night to put together countless things that help style our girls today.
Now, an approach to a young girl's "big day" is not always as that girl might wish. Small things bob up, which, at first, look actually disastrous for a joyous occasion; and for Nancy and Frank, just such a thing did bob up; for, on May Third, a pouring rain and whistling wind put Branton Hills' spirits way, way down into a sorrowful slump. Black, ugly, rumbling clouds hung aggravatingly about in a saturation of mist, rain and fog; and roads and lawns got such a washing that Nancy said:—
Now, the lead-up to a young girl's "big day" doesn't always go as she hopes. Small things come up that, at first, seem like they could ruin a happy occasion; and for Nancy and Frank, that’s exactly what happened. On May Third, heavy rain and strong winds put Branton Hills in a gloomy mood. Dark, heavy clouds loomed frustratingly, shrouded in mist, rain, and fog; the streets and lawns were so drenched that Nancy said:—
"Anyway, if I can't walk across that front church yard, I can swim it!!"
"Anyway, if I can't walk across that front church yard, I can swim it!!"
That was Nancy; a small bunch of inborn good humor; and I'll say, right now, that it took good humor, and lots of it, to look upon conditions out of your control, with such outstanding pluck!
That was Nancy; a little bundle of natural good humor; and I'll say, right now, that it took good humor, and plenty of it, to face circumstances beyond your control with such remarkable courage!
"Calling all clouds!! Calling all clouds!! All rain to stop at midnight of May Third! Bright Sun on May Fourth, and no wind!!"
"Hey clouds!! Hey clouds!! All rain needs to stop at midnight on May 3rd! Bright sun on May 4th, and no wind!!"
So, as Nancy took an anxious squint out of doors at about six o'clock on that important morning, (and what young girl could go on, calmly snoozing on such a day?) Lo!! Old Sol was smiling brightly down on Branton Hills; birds sang; all sorts of blossoming things had had a good drink; and a most glorious sky, rid of all ugly clouds, put our young lady into such a happy mood that it took a lot of control to avoid just a tiny bit of humidity around a small pair of rich, brown orbs which always had that vibrating, dancing light of happy youth; that miraculous "joy of living."
So, as Nancy anxiously peeked outside around six o'clock on that important morning, (and what young girl could continue snoozing on such a day?) Wow! The sun was shining brightly over Branton Hills; birds were singing; all kinds of blooming things had soaked up a good drink; and a most glorious sky, free of any ugly clouds, put our young lady in such a happy mood that it took a lot of effort to hold back a little bit of moisture around her rich, brown eyes which always sparkled with the vibrant, dancing light of youthful happiness; that miraculous "joy of living."
And, what a circus was soon going full tilt in Mayor Gadsby's mansion! If that happy man so much as said:—"Now, I——" a grand, womanly chorus told him that "a man don't know anything about such affairs;" and that a most satisfactory spot for him was in a hammock on his porch, with a good cigar! That's it! A man is nominally monarch in his own family; but only so on that outstanding day upon which a bridal gown is laid out in all its glory on his parlor sofa, and a small mob of girls, and occasionally a woman or two, is rushing in and out, up and down stairs, and finding as much to do as a commonly known microscopic "bug" of prodigious hopping ability finds at a dog show. Rush! rush! rush! A thousand thoughts and a million words, (this crowd was all girls, you know!) making that parlor as noisy as a saw mill! But Gadsby laughingly staid out of it all, watching big armfuls of bloom and many a curious looking box go in through that front door; flying hands rapidly untying glorious ribbon wrappings.
And, what a circus was soon going full blast in Mayor Gadsby's mansion! If that happy guy so much as said:—"Now, I——" a grand, womanly chorus would tell him that "a man doesn’t know anything about such things;" and that a perfect spot for him was in a hammock on his porch, enjoying a good cigar! That's it! A man is technically in charge in his own family; but only on that special day when a bridal gown is laid out in all its glory on his parlor sofa, and a small crowd of girls, and sometimes a woman or two, is rushing in and out, up and down stairs, finding as much to do as a well-known microscopic "bug" with amazing hopping skills at a dog show. Rush! rush! rush! A thousand thoughts and a million words, (this crowd was all girls, you know!) making that parlor as noisy as a sawmill! But Gadsby laughed and stayed out of it all, watching big armfuls of flowers and many a strange-looking box come through that front door; flying hands quickly untying beautiful ribbon wrappings.
Now, upon all such occasions you will find, if you snoop around in dining room or pantry, an astonishing loaf of culinary art, all fancy frosting, and chuck full of raisins and citron, which is always cut upon such an auspicious occasion; and it is as hard to avoid naming it, in this story, as it is to withstand its assault upon your stomach.
Now, on all these special occasions, if you look around in the dining room or pantry, you’ll discover an incredible loaf of culinary art, decked out with fancy frosting and packed with raisins and citron, which is always cut on such a festive day; and it’s just as hard to avoid mentioning it in this story as it is to resist its tempting allure.
Oh hum! Now what? Aha! May Fourth, lasting, as Nancy said, "for about a million months," finally got Gadsby's dining room clock around to six-fifty; only about an hour, now, to that grand march past practically half of Branton Hills' population; for all who couldn't jam into that commodious church would stand around in a solid phalanx, blocking all traffic in that part of town; for all Branton Hills was fond of its Mayor's "baby girl."
Oh, what now? Aha! The May Fourth celebration, which Nancy said lasted "for about a million months," finally got Gadsby's dining room clock to six-fifty; only about an hour left until the grand march past nearly half of Branton Hills' population. Everyone who couldn’t fit into that spacious church would stand around in a solid group, blocking all traffic in that part of town, because everyone in Branton Hills loved the Mayor's "baby girl."
But, during this rush and hubbub, how about Frank? Poor boy! Now, if you think that a young lad at such an instant is as calm as a mill-pond, you don't know romantic Youth, that's all. About forty of Gadsby's old Organization boys, now manly young chaps, had bought him a car, which Nancy was not to know anything about until that throwing of old boots, and what is also customary, had quit. Frank didn't want to hold it back from Nancy, but what can a chap do, against forty? Also, last night, at a big "so sorry, old chap" party, Frank had found how loyal a bunch of old pals can turn out; and this "grand launching into matrimonial doubt" had put him in a happy mood for that all important oration of two words:—"I do."
But during all the chaos, what about Frank? Poor guy! If you think a young man is as calm as a still lake at a moment like this, you don’t really get romantic youth, that's for sure. About forty of Gadsby's old Organization buddies, now grown-up young men, had bought him a car, which Nancy was not supposed to know about until the throwing of old shoes and the usual celebrations were over. Frank didn’t want to keep it a secret from Nancy, but what can a guy do when there are forty of them? Also, last night, at a big "sorry, old chap" party, Frank realized how loyal a group of old friends can be; and this "grand leap into matrimonial uncertainty" had put him in a great mood for those two crucial words:—"I do."
So now I'll hurry around to church to find out how Nancy's Organization girls put in a long day of hard labor; not only at floor work, but up on stools and chairs. My! My! Just look and gasp!! A long chain of lilacs runs from door to altar in two rows. And look at that big arch of wistaria and narcissus half way along! Artificial palms stand in curving ranks from organ to walls; and, with all lights softly glowing through pink silk hoods; and with gilt cords outlining an altar-dais of moss and sprays of asparagus, it is a sight to bring a thrill to anybody, young or old.
So now I’ll rush over to church to see how Nancy’s Organization girls spent a long day working hard; not just on the floors, but up on stools and chairs. Wow! Just look and be amazed!! A long chain of lilacs stretches from the door to the altar in two rows. And check out that big arch of wisteria and daffodils halfway along! Artificial palms stand in curving lines from the organ to the walls; and, with all the lights softly glowing through pink
And, now—aha!! With organist and Pastor waiting, a murmur and hand-clapping from that big front door told all who had luckily got in that Nancy was coming! It took thirty cars to bring that bridal party to church; for not a boy or girl of our old Organization would miss this occasion for a farm, with a pig on it with four kinks in its tail. Now, naturally, any girl would long to walk up that Holy path with Nancy, but too many would spoil things; so, by drawing lots, Nancy had for company, Sarah Young, Lucy Donaldson, Priscilla Standish, Virginia Adams, Doris Johnson and Cora Grant; with Kathlyn as Maid of Honor, as charming an array of youthful glory as you could find in all Branton Hills.
And now—aha!! With the organist and Pastor waiting, the murmurs and claps from that big front door let everyone inside know that Nancy was on her way! It took thirty cars to bring that bridal party to the church because no boy or girl from our old group would miss this event for anything, not even for a farm with a pig that had four kinks in its tail. Naturally, every girl would want to walk up that sacred aisle with Nancy, but having too many would ruin it; so, by drawing lots, Nancy had Sarah Young, Lucy Donaldson, Priscilla Standish, Virginia Adams, Doris Johnson, and Cora Grant as her companions, with Kathlyn as Maid of Honor—such a stunning group of young ladies as you could find in all of Branton Hills.
Until this important arrival, Branton Hills' famous organist, just plain John Smith, was playing softly,—"Just a Song at Twilight," watching for a signal from Mayor Gadsby; and soon swung into that famous march which brought forth a grand thrill, as tiny, blushing, palpitating Nancy took "Dad's" arm, gazing with shining orbs at that distant—oh, so distant—altar.
Until this important moment, Branton Hills' famous organist, plain John Smith, was playing softly—"Just a Song at Twilight," waiting for a signal from Mayor Gadsby; and soon transitioned into that famous march which created a grand thrill, as tiny, blushing, anxious Nancy took "Dad's" arm, gazing with shining eyes at that distant—oh, so distant—altar.
Now I want to know why anybody should want to cry on such a grand occasion. What is sad about it? But many a lash was moist as that tiny vision of glamorous purity slowly trod that fragrant pathway. Possibly girls can't avoid it; anyway, our Branton Hills girls didn't try to do so.
Now I want to understand why anyone would want to cry at such a big event. What's sad about it? But many tears were shed as that little glimpse of glamorous purity slowly walked down that fragrant path. Maybe girls can't help it; anyway, our Branton Hills girls didn't try to avoid it.
Gadsby, as has many a good old Dad, fought back any such showing; but I won't say that his thoughts didn't nag him; for, giving away your baby girl to any young, though first-class chap, is not actually fun. But that long, long trail finally brought him to that mossy dais, at which Frank, coming in through a handy door, stood waiting. Nancy was as calm as a wax doll; but Frank stood shaking with a most annoying cough (of imaginary origin!) as Pastor Brown stood, book in hand. Now I won't go through with all that was said; nor say anything about Nancy's tiny, warm, soft hand as it was put in Frank's big clumsy fist by Pastor Brown. Nor about that first Holy kiss; nor that long, mighty roar of organ music, as our happy, blushing pair trod that long pathway, doorwards. You know all about it, anyway, as most such rituals follow a standard custom. Nor shall I go into that happy hour at His Honor's mansion, during which that fancy loaf of frosting, raisins and citron was cut; (and which many a girl put in a pillow that night!); nor of that big bridal bunch of blossoms, which was thrown from a stairway into a happy group of hopping, jumping, laughing girls. (But I will say,—shhhh! that Kathlyn caught it!); nor anything of Nancy and Frank's thrilling trip to Branton Hills' big railway station, in that gift car which Nancy thought was a king's chariot; nor of a grand, low bow by old Pat Ryan of that station's trunk room. It was just that customary "All aboard!!" a crowd's "Hooray!!" and "Good Luck!!", with Branton Hills' Municipal Band a-blaring, and a mighty mob shouting and waving.
Gadsby, like many good old dads, held back any signs of emotion; but I won’t say his thoughts didn’t trouble him, because handing over your daughter to any young, even top-notch guy, isn't exactly fun. But that long, winding path finally led him to that mossy dais, where Frank, coming in through a convenient door, was waiting. Nancy was as calm as a doll; but Frank was shaking with an annoying cough (of imaginary origin!) as Pastor Brown stood there with a book in hand. Now, I won't go through everything that was said; nor will I mention Nancy's tiny, warm, soft hand as it was placed in Frank's big clumsy fist by Pastor Brown. Nor will I talk about that first holy kiss; or that long, powerful roar of organ music as our happy, blushing couple walked down that long aisle towards the door. You all know how it goes anyway, since most such rituals follow a standard custom. Nor will I cover that joyful hour at the mayor's house, during which that fancy cake made of frosting, raisins, and citron was cut; (and which many girls put under their pillows that night!); nor the big bridal bouquet of flowers that was tossed from a staircase into a cheerful group of jumping, laughing girls. (But I will say—shhhh! Kathlyn caught it!); nor anything about Nancy and Frank's exciting trip to Branton Hills' main train station, in that gift car which Nancy imagined was a king's chariot; nor the grand, low bow from old Pat Ryan of the station's baggage room. It was just the usual "All aboard!!" a crowd's "Hooray!!" and "Good Luck!!", with Branton Hills' Municipal Band playing loudly, and a huge mob shouting and waving.
XII
Oh, hum! I'll turn from this happy affair now and try to find out what was going on in this thriving, hustling city. Now you probably think of a city as a gigantic thing; for, if you go up onto a high hill, and look around across that vast array of buildings, parks, roads and distant suburbs, you not only think that it is a gigantic thing, you know it is. But, is it?
Oh, sigh! I'm going to step away from this happy situation now and see what’s happening in this bustling, energetic city. You probably picture a city as something massive; if you go up onto a high hill and look out over the wide expanse of buildings, parks, roads, and far-off neighborhoods, you don’t just think it’s huge, you really know it is. But, is it?
Just stop and think a bit. All such things as bulk, or width, you know by comparison only; comparison with familiar things. So, just for fun, go up in an imaginary balloon, about half way to that old Moon, which has hung aloft from your birth—(and possibly a day or two in addition)—and look down upon your "gigantic" city. How will it look? It is a small patch of various colors; but you know that, within that tiny patch, many thousands of your kind hurry back and forth; railway trains crawl out to far-away districts; and, if you can pick out a grain of dust that stands out dimly in a glow of sunlight, you may know that it is your mansion, your cabin or your hut, according to your financial status. Now, if that hardly shows up, how about you? What kind of a dot would you form in comparison? You must admit that your past thoughts as to your own pomposity will shrink just a bit! All this shows us that could this big World think, it wouldn't know that such a thing as Man was on it. And Man thinks that his part in all this unthinkably vast Cosmos is important!! Why, you poor shrimp! if this old World wants to twitch just a bit and knock down a city or two, or split up a group of mountains, Man, with all his brain capacity, can only dash wildly about, dodging falling bricks. No. You wouldn't show up from that balloon as plainly as an ant, in crawling around our Capitol building at Washington.
Just take a moment to think. You only know things like size or width by comparing them to things you're familiar with. So, for fun, imagine going up in a balloon, about halfway to that old Moon, which has been hanging there since you were born—(maybe even a day or two longer)—and look down at your "huge" city. How does it appear? It's just a small patch of different colors; but you know that within that tiny area, thousands of people are hustling back and forth; trains are slowly making their way to distant places; and if you can spot a tiny speck that glows faintly in the sunlight, that’s your house, cabin, or shack, depending on your financial situation. Now, if that barely shows up, how about you? What kind of dot would you appear to be in comparison? You have to admit that your previous thoughts about your own importance will shrink a bit! All this shows us that if this big World could think, it wouldn't even realize that humans exist. And yet, humans think their role in this unimaginably vast Universe is significant!! Seriously, you poor thing! If this old World wanted to shift just a little and destroy a city or two, or break apart a mountain range, humanity, with all its intellectual capacity, could only run around like crazy, dodging falling debris. No. You wouldn't even show up from that balloon as clearly as an ant scurrying around our Capitol building in Washington.
But why all this talk about our own inconspicuosity? It is simply brought up to accompany Nancy's thoughts as that train shot across country; for Nancy, until now, had not known anything approaching such a trip. So this happy, happy trip, back upon which many a woman looks, with a romantic thrill, was astounding to such a girl. From Branton Hills to San Francisco; a boat to Honolulu, Manila, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Colombo, and finally Cairo. Ah! Cairo!! In thinking of it you naturally bring up two words—"Pyramids" and "Sphinx", words familiar from school days. Practically from birth, Nancy, along with millions of folks, had known that famous illustration of a thing half Lion and half woman; and a mountainous mass of masonry, built for a king's tomb. So, standing right in front of both, Nancy and Frank got that wondrous thrill coming from attaining a long, long wish. From Cairo to Italy, Spain, London, Paris, and that grand Atlantic sail, landing at Boston, and hustling by fast train (but how slow it did go!!) to Branton Hills! So, along about Thanksgiving Day, about half of its population was again at its big railway station, for Nancy was coming back. (And Frank, too, if anybody should ask you.)
But why all this talk about our own invisibility? It’s just mentioned to reflect Nancy's thoughts as that train sped across the country; because until now, Nancy had never experienced a trip like this. So this joyous journey, which many women look back on with romantic excitement, was incredible for a girl like her. From Branton Hills to San Francisco; then a boat to Honolulu, Manila, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Colombo, and finally Cairo. Ah! Cairo!! When you think of it, two words come to mind—"Pyramids" and "Sphinx", familiar from school days. Almost since she was born, Nancy, like millions of others, had known that famous image of a creature that’s half lion and half woman; and a massive structure built as a king's tomb. So, standing right in front of both, Nancy and Frank were filled with the amazing thrill that comes from fulfilling a long-held desire. From Cairo to Italy, Spain, London, Paris, and that magnificent Atlantic crossing, landing in Boston, and rushing by train (but how slow it felt!!) back to Branton Hills! So, around Thanksgiving Day, about half the town’s population was back at its big train station, waiting for Nancy to return. (And Frank too, if anyone asks.)
And with that big Municipal Band a-booming and blaring, and the crowd of our old Organization girls pushing forward, did Branton Hills look good to Nancy? And did Nancy look good to Branton Hills? What a glorious tan, from days and days on shipboard! And was that old Atlantic ugly? Ask Frank, poor chap, who, as on that big Pacific, had found out just what a ship's rail is for! And that stomachs can turn most amazing flip-flops if an old boat is too frisky!
And with that big Municipal Band booming and blaring, and the crowd of our old Organization girls pushing forward, did Branton Hills look good to Nancy? And did Nancy look good to Branton Hills? What a glorious tan, from days and days on the ship! And was that old Atlantic ugly? Ask Frank, poor guy, who, like on that big Pacific, learned exactly what a ship's rail is for! And that stomachs can do the most amazing flip-flops if an old boat is too lively!
In just an instant, actual count, Nancy was in Lady Gadsby's arms, fighting valiantly to hold back a flood of big, happy sobs; and Frank was busy, grabbing a cloud of hands surging towards him.
In just a moment, really, Nancy was in Lady Gadsby's arms, battling to hold back a wave of joyful sobs, while Frank was busy, reaching for a crowd of hands reaching out to him.
Coming back from a long trip is a happy occasion. And it is also mighty good to put a trunk or a bag down, knowing that it will "stay put" for a day or two, anyway. That constant packing and unpacking on a long trip, soon turns into an automatic function; and how Nancy did worry about what transportation customs in various lands would do to a first class trunk which has a romantic history, owing to its coming as a matrimonial gift from a group of loving girls. But now; ah!! Put it away, and your things around, in familiar disposal.
Coming back from a long trip is always a happy moment. It's also really nice to set down a suitcase or bag, knowing it will "stay put" for at least a day or two. The constant packing and unpacking on a long journey quickly becomes automatic; Nancy was quite worried about what transportation customs in different countries would do to a first-class trunk with a romantic backstory, as it was a wedding gift from a group of caring friends. But now; ah!! Put it away, and arrange your things in familiar places.
Long trips do bring lots of fun and information; but a truly long trip is tiring, both in body and mind.
Long trips can be a lot of fun and provide plenty of information, but a really long trip can be exhausting, both physically and mentally.
But Nancy and Frank won't stay with Gadsby long; for, during that trip, a charming bungalow was built on a lot of Gadsby's, facing City Park; and Nancy put in many days arranging things in it. Anybody who has had such joyful work to do, knows how assiduously a young pair would go about it; for two young robins carrying bits of cotton and string up to a criss-cross of twigs in a big oak, with constant soft, loving chirps, "had nothing," according to our popular slang, on Nancy and Frank.
But Nancy and Frank won't be at Gadsby's for long; during that time, they built a lovely bungalow on one of Gadsby's lots, facing City Park. Nancy spent many days setting everything up in it. Anyone who's experienced that kind of happy task knows how dedicated a young couple can be. Just like two young robins carrying bits of cotton and string up to a tangled mass of twigs in a big oak, happily chirping to each other, "had nothing," as we often say, on Nancy and Frank.
Finally "moving in day" got around, with that customary party, to which you carry a gift to add to such things as a young husband on only a small salary can install. And how gifts did pour in!! Rugs, chairs, small stands, urns, clocks, photos in wall mountings, dainty scarfs (all handwork by our girls in our Night School), books, lamps, a "radio" from Station KBH, until, finally, a big truck found an opportunity in that coming and going throng to back in and unload an upright piano, all satin ribbon wrappings, with a card:—"From Branton Hills' Municipal Band."
Finally, "moving in day" arrived, marked by that familiar party where you bring a gift to contribute to what a young husband on a tight budget can manage. And how the gifts poured in!! Rugs, chairs, small tables, urns, clocks, framed photos, delicate scarves (all handmade by our girls in our Night School), books, lamps, and a "radio" from Station KBH. Eventually, a big truck managed to find a spot in the bustling crowd to back in and unload an upright piano, wrapped in satin ribbon, with a card that read: —"From Branton Hills' Municipal Band."
XIII
I could go on for hours about this starting out of Nancy and Frank, but many civic affairs await us; for Julius Gadsby who has not got into this story up to now, had, from his constant poring through all kinds of books of information, built up a thorough insight into fossils; and you know that Kathlyn is way up in Biology; which brings in our awkward "bugs" again. Now bugs will burrow in soil, and always did, from History's birth; building catacombs which at last vanish through a piling up of rocks, sand or soil on that spot. Now Julius continually ran across accounts of important "finds" of such fossils, and with Kathlyn's aid was soon inaugurating popular clamor for a big Hall of Natural History.
I can go on for hours about the beginnings of Nancy and Frank, but we have a lot of civic matters to attend to; because Julius Gadsby, who hasn’t been mentioned in this story until now, had developed a deep understanding of fossils from his constant reading of various informational books. And you know that Kathlyn is really knowledgeable about Biology, which brings us back to our awkward "bugs." Now bugs have always burrowed in the soil, ever since History began; they create catacombs that eventually disappear as rocks, sand, or soil pile up over those areas. Julius often came across reports of significant fossil "finds," and with Kathlyn's help, he quickly sparked public interest in creating a large Hall of Natural History.
This, Julius and Kathlyn thought, would turn out as popular, in a way, as living animals out at our Zoo. But an appropriation for a Hall of Natural History is a hard thing to jam through a City Council; for though its occupants call for no food, you can't maintain such a building without human custody; "which," said Old Bill Simpkins, "is but a tricky way of saying CASH!!" But our Council was by now so familiar with calls from that famous "Organization", and, owing to its inborn faith in that grand body of hustling Youth, such a building was built; Julius and Kathlyn arranging all displays of fossil birds, plants, "bugs," footprints, raindrop marks, worms, skulls, parts of jaws, and so on. And what a crowd was on hand for that first public day! Julius and Kathlyn took visitors through various rooms, giving much data upon what was shown; and many a Branton Hills inhabitant found out a lot of facts about our vast past; about organisms living so far back in oblivion as to balk Man's brain to grasp. Kathlyn stood amongst groups of botanical fossilizations, with Gadsby not far away, as this studious young woman told school pupils how our common plants of today through various transitions in form, show a kinship with what now lay, in miraculously good condition, in this big Hall; and Julius told staring groups how this or that fossil did actually link such animals as our cow or walrus of today with original forms totally apart, both in looks and habits. And it was comforting to Gadsby to find pupils asking how long ago this was, and noting that amazing look as Julius had to say that nobody knows.
Julius and Kathlyn thought this would be as popular as the live animals at our Zoo. However, getting funding for a Hall of Natural History through the City Council is tough; even though the exhibits don’t need food, you can’t run such a place without human supervision; “which,” said Old Bill Simpkins, “is just a sneaky way of saying MONEY!!” By now, our Council was so used to requests from that well-known “Organization,” and because of its inherent belief in that dynamic group of motivated Youth, the building got constructed; Julius and Kathlyn set up all the displays of fossil birds, plants, insects, footprints, raindrop impressions, worms, skulls, jaw fragments, and more. And what a crowd showed up for the first public day! Julius and Kathlyn guided visitors through the different rooms, sharing lots of information about what was on display; many residents of Branton Hills learned a lot about our extensive past, about organisms that existed so far back in time that it was hard for Man’s mind to comprehend. Kathlyn stood among groups of botanical fossils with Gadsby nearby, as this keen young woman explained to school students how our common plants today, through various changes in form, share a connection with what now lay, in astonishingly good condition, in this big Hall; and Julius told fascinated groups how this or that fossil actually connected today’s animals, like cows or walruses, to original forms that were completely different in appearance and behavior. And it was reassuring for Gadsby to see students asking how long ago that was, and to notice the amazed look on their faces when Julius had to admit that nobody knows.
Such a building is an addition to any city; for this big World is so old that human calculation cannot fathom it; and it will, in all probability, go on always. So it is improving a child's mind to visit such displays; for it will start a train of thoughts along a path not commonly sought if such institutions do not stand as attractions. Now, in any community a crank will bob up, who will, with loud acclaim and high-sounding words, avow that it "is a scandalous drain on public funds to put up such a building just to show a lot of rocks, animals' ribs and birds' skulls." But such loud bombasts only show up an "orator's" brain capacity (or lack of it), and actually bring studious folks to ask for just such data upon things which his ridiculing had run down. It is an old, old story, that if you want a city's population to go in strongly for anything, and you start a loud, bawling campaign against it, that public will turn to it for information as to its worth. So, just such a loud, bawling moron had to drift into our Hall on its inauguration day, and soon ran smack up against Kathlyn! That worthy girl, allowing him to "blow off" a bit, finally said:—
Such a building is a great addition to any city; this vast world is so old that human understanding cannot fully grasp it, and it will likely continue forever. Visiting such exhibits helps develop a child's mind because it sparks thoughts along paths that aren’t usually explored without these attractions. In every community, there will always be someone who, with loud claims and fancy words, will argue that "it’s a ridiculous waste of public money to build a place just to display rocks, animal bones, and bird skulls." But these loudmouths only reveal their lack of insight and actually encourage thoughtful people to seek the very information they ridicule. It’s an age-old story that if you want people in a city to support something, a noisy campaign against it will only make them turn to it for information about its value. So, this very loud critic had to wander into our Hall on the opening day and soon ran into Kathlyn! That brave girl, letting him "vent" a little, finally said:—
"I know you. You run a stock farm. All right. You want to know all you can about matching and crossing your stock, don't you? I thought so. But God did all that, long, oh, so long ago; gradually producing such animals as you own today; and all you can do is to follow along, in your puny way, and try to avoid a poor quality of stock mixing with yours. This building contains thousands of God's first works. It won't do you a bit of harm to look through our rooms. Nothing will jump out at you!"
"I know you. You operate a stock farm. That’s fine. You want to learn everything you can about breeding and crossing your stock, right? I figured as much. But God did all that a long, long time ago; gradually creating the animals you have today; and all you can do is keep up, in your limited way, and try to prevent low-quality stock from mixing with yours. This building holds thousands of God’s original creations. It won’t hurt you at all to look through our rooms. Nothing will jump out at you!"
At that that barking critic shut up! And Gadsby slid outdoors, chuckling:—
At that, the barking critic fell silent! And Gadsby stepped outside, chuckling:—
"That's my girl talking!! That's my Kathlyn!!"
"That's my girl talking!! That's my Kathlyn!!"
It is curious why anybody should pooh-pooh a study of fossils or various forms of rocks or lava. Such things grant us our only vision into Natural History's big book; and it isn't a book in first-class condition. Far from it! Just a tiny scrap; a slip; or, possibly a big chunk is found, with nothing notifying us as to how it got to that particular point, nor how long ago. Man can only look at it, lift it, rap it, cut into it, and squint at it through a magnifying glass. And,—think about it. That's all; until a formal study brings accompanying thoughts from many minds; and, by such tactics, judging that in all probability such and such a rock or fossil footprint is about so old. Natural History holds you in its grasp through just this impossibility of finding actual facts; for it is thus causing you to think. Now, thinking is not only a voluntary function; it is an acquisition; an art. Plants do not think. Animals probably do, but in a primary way, such as an aid in knowing poisonous foods, and how to bring up an offspring with similar ability. But Man can, and should think, and think hard and constantly. It is ridiculous to rush blindly into an action without looking forward to lay out a plan. Such an unthinking custom is almost a panic, and panic is but a mild form of insanity.
It’s strange why anyone would dismiss studying fossils or different types of rocks or lava. These things give us our only glimpse into the vast story of Natural History, and it's not a perfect story at all. Not even close! We might find just a tiny piece, a fragment, or maybe a larger section, but we have no idea how it got there or how long ago it was. All we can do is look at it, pick it up, tap it, slice into it, and peer at it through a magnifying glass. And—just _think_ about it. That’s all, until a formal study combines insights from many people, and through that process, we can estimate that a certain rock or fossil footprint is likely this old. Natural History captivates you by making it impossible to find concrete facts; it’s designed to make you _think_. Now, thinking isn’t just something you do voluntarily; it’s an _acquisition_; an _art_. Plants don’t think. Animals might do it in a basic way, like recognizing poisonous foods or raising their young with those skills. But humans can, and _should_ think, and think deeply and constantly. It’s absurd to rush into action without a plan. That kind of thoughtless behavior is almost like panicking, and panic is just a mild form of insanity.
So Kathlyn and Julius did a grand, good thing in having this Hall as an addition to Branton Hills' institutions.
So Kathlyn and Julius did something great by making this Hall an addition to the institutions of Branton Hills.
Now, in any city or town, or almost any small community, you will find a building, or possibly only a room, about which said city or town has nothing to say. It is that most important institution in which you put a stamp on your mail and drop it into a slot, knowing that it will find its way across city or country to that man or woman who is waiting for it.
Now, in any city or town, or even in most small communities, you'll find a building, or maybe just a room, that the local area has nothing to say about. It's the essential institution where you put a stamp on your mail and drop it into a slot, confident that it will make its way across the city or country to the person who’s expecting it.
But how many young folks know how this mail is put out so quickly, and with such guaranty against loss? Not many, I think, if you ask. So Gadsby, holding up Youth as a Nation's most important function in its coming history, thought that any act which would instruct a child in any way, was worthy. So, on a Saturday morning His Honor took a group of Grammar School pupils to a balcony in back of that all-hiding partition, and a postal official, showing all mail handling acts individually, said:—
But how many young people know how this mail gets sent out so quickly and securely? Not many, I think, if you ask around. So Gadsby, viewing youth as the most vital aspect of a nation's future, believed that any action that would educate a child in any way, was valuable. So, on a Saturday morning, His Honor took a group of Grammar School students to a balcony behind that big partition, and a postal official, demonstrating all the steps of mail handling one by one, said:—
"In this country, two things stand first in rank: your flag and your mail. You all know what honor you pay to your flag, but you should know, also, that your mail,—just that ordinary postal card—is also important. But a postal card, or any form of mail, is not important, in that way, until you drop it through a slot in this building, and with a stamp on it, or into a mail box outdoors. Up to that instant it is but a common card, which anybody can pick up and carry off without committing a criminal act. But as soon as it is in back of this partition, or in a mail box, a magical transformation occurs; and anybody who now should willfully purloin it, or obstruct its trip in any way, will find prison doors awaiting him. What a frail thing ordinary mail is! A baby could rip it apart, but no adult is so foolish as to do it. That small stamp which you stick on it, is, you might say, a postal official, going right along with it, having it always in his sight."
"In this country, two things matter most: your flag and your mail. You all know how much respect you show for your flag, but you should also recognize that your mail—just that simple postal card—is also significant. However, a postal card, or any type of mail, isn't important in that sense until you drop it through a slot in this building with a stamp on it, or into a mailbox outside. Until that moment, it's just an ordinary card that anyone can pick up and take away without breaking the law. But as soon as it’s behind this partition or in a mailbox, a magical change happens; anyone who now intentionally steals it or interferes with its delivery will find themselves facing prison time. How fragile ordinary mail is! A baby could easily tear it apart, but no adult is foolish enough to do that. That little stamp you put on it acts like a postal official, accompanying it and keeping it in sight at all times."
A giggling girl was curious to know if that was why a man's photo is on it.
A giggling girl wondered if that’s why there’s a man’s photo on it.
A good laugh rang around, and our official said:—
A good laugh echoed around, and our official said:—
"Now a man sorts it according to its inscription, puts it into a canvas bag and aboard a train, or possibly an aircraft. But that bag has mail going to points a long way apart, so a man in a mail car sorts it out, so that Chicago won't find mail in its bag which should go to California."
"Now a man sorts it based on its label, puts it in a canvas bag, and loads it onto a train or maybe an airplane. But that bag contains mail going to places that are far apart, so a person in a mail car sorts it out, ensuring that Chicago doesn't end up with mail that needs to go to California."
At this point our giggling girl said:—
At this point, our giggling girl said:—
"Ooooo! I had a Christmas card for Missouri go way down to Mississippi!"
"Ooooo! I sent a Christmas card for Missouri all the way down to Mississippi!"
"How did you mark it?"
"How did you tag it?"
"I put M-i-s-s for Missouri."
"I wrote M-i-s-s for Missouri."
"Try M-o, and I wish you luck."
"Give M-o a shot, and I wish you the best."
As that laugh ran round, our official said:—
As that laugh spread around, our official said:—
"Now you know that you can buy a long, narrow stamp which will hurry your mail along. So, as all mail in this building is put up in many a small bunch, all with such stamps attract a mailman, who will so wrap a bunch that that kind of a stamp will show up plainly. Upon its arrival at a distant point, a boy will grab it, and hurry it to its final goal. But that stamp will not hurry it as long as it is on that train."
"Now you know that you can buy a long, narrow stamp that will speed up your mail. Since all mail in this building is grouped together in small bundles, all with those stamps will catch the attention of a mailman, who will organize a bundle so that the stamp is clearly visible. When it arrives at a distant location, a boy will grab it and rush it to its final destination. But that stamp won't speed it up while it's on that train."
Our giggling girl, swinging in again, said:—
Our giggling girl, swinging back in, said:—
"What? With that stamp right on top?"
"What? With that stamp right on top?"
"How can it?" said our official. "A train can only go just so fast, stamp or no stamp."
"How can it?" said our official. "A train can only go so fast, stamp or no stamp."
"Oh."
"Oh."
Our boys and girls got a big thrill from this visit in back of that partition, and told Gadsby so. On coming out of that building our party saw a big patrolman putting a small boy into a patrol wagon. That poor kid was but a bunch of rags, dirty, and in a fighting mood. Our boys got a big laugh out of it. Our girls, though, did not. Young Marian Hopkins, who had that fairy wand, you know, at our airport inauguration, said:—
Our boys and girls were really excited about this visit behind that partition and told Gadsby so. As we left the building, our group saw a big cop putting a small boy into a police wagon. That poor kid looked like a bundle of rags, dirty, and ready to fight. Our boys found it hilarious. However, our girls did not. Young Marian Hopkins, who had that fairy wand at our airport opening, said:—
"Oh, that poor child! Will that cop put him in jail, Mayor Gadsby?" At which His Honor instantly thought of a plan long in his mind. Branton Hills had a court room, a child's court, in fact, at which a kindly man looks out for just such young waifs—trying to find out why such tots commit unlawful acts. So Gadsby said:—
"Oh, that poor kid! Is that cop going to put him in jail, Mayor Gadsby?" At that, His Honor quickly came up with a plan that he had been thinking about for a while. Branton Hills had a courtroom, a children's court actually, where a compassionate man tries to understand why kids like these get into trouble. So Gadsby said:—
To his satisfaction, all did; and so, that night that court room had rows of young folks, all agog with curiosity which a first visit to a court stirs up in a child. Just by luck, our young vagrant in rags was brought in first, shaking with childish doubt as to what was going to occur. But that kindly man sitting back of that big mahogany railing had no thought of scaring a child, and said calmly:—
To his delight, everyone did; and so, that night the courtroom was filled with rows of young people, all buzzing with the excitement that comes from a first visit to a court. By chance, our young wanderer in rags was brought in first, trembling with childish uncertainty about what was going to happen. But that kind man sitting behind the large mahogany railing had no intention of frightening a child and spoke calmly:—
"Now, boy, what did you do that you ought not to do; and why did you do it?"
"Now, kid, what did you do that you shouldn't have done, and why did you do it?"
As our boys sat nudging and winking, but with our girls growing sad from sympathy, our young culprit said:—
As our boys sat nudging and winking, while our girls became sad from sympathy, our young culprit said:—
"Aw! I grabs a bun, and dis big cop grabs my collar!"
"Aw! I grab a bun, and this big cop grabs my collar!"
"But why did you grab that bun? It wasn't yours, you know."
"But why did you take that bun? It wasn't yours, you know."
"Gosh, man!! I was hungry!!"
"Wow, man!! I was starving!!"
"Hungry? Don't your folks look out for you?"
"Hungry? Don't your parents take care of you?"
"Naw; I do my own looking. And that's what I was doing, too!"
"Nah; I do my own searching. And that's what I was doing, too!"
"What had you for food all day?"
"What did you eat all day?"
"Did that cop, as you call him, hurt you?"
"Did that cop, as you refer to him, hurt you?"
"Hurt!! I should say not!! I put up a good stiff scrap! I paid him back, blow for blow! No big gas-bag of a cop is going to wallop this kid and not pay for it!"
"Ouch!! I should say not!! I fought back hard! I hit him back, blow for blow! No arrogant cop is going to hit this kid and get away with it!"
"But, boy, don't your folks bring you up to know that it is wrong to rob anybody?"
"But, seriously, don’t your parents teach you that it’s wrong to steal from anyone?"
"Naw! My Dad robs folks, and just got six months for it. So why shouldn't I? It's all right to do what your Dad will do, isn't it?"
"Nah! My dad steals from people and just got six months for it. So why shouldn't I? It’s okay to do what your dad does, right?"
"Not always, boy," and our girls in row two and our boys in row four sat sad and glum at this portrayal of youthful sin. Finally that big kindly man, thoughtfully rubbing his chin, said:—
"Not always, kid," and our girls in row two and our boys in row four sat sad and downcast at this depiction of youthful wrongdoing. Finally, that big kind man, thoughtfully rubbing his chin, said:—
"Whom did your Dad rob?"
"Who did your Dad rob?"
"I dunno. It was a Ford car. Nobody wasn't in it, so why not grab it? That's what Dad said. You can pick up a bit of cash for a car, you know, boss. And say, if a car brung only six months, how long will I squat in jail for swiping this half bun? Aw! Go slow, boss! I ain't no bad kid! Only just a hungry mutt. Gosh!! How I wish I had a glass of milk!"
"I don't know. It was a Ford car. Nobody was in it, so why not take it? That's what Dad said. You can make some quick cash for a car, you know, boss. And hey, if a car only gets you six months, how long will I be stuck in jail for taking this half-baked idea? Aw! Take it easy, boss! I'm not a bad kid! Just a hungry pup. Gosh!! How I wish I had a glass of milk!"
From row two a young, vigorous girlish form shot out, dashing for a doorway; and as that big kindly man was still rubbing his chin, Marian burst in again, rushing, sobbingly, to that sad bunch of rags, holding out a pint of milk and two hot biscuits. A quick snatch by two horribly dirty young hands, a limp flop on a mat at that big mahogany railing, and a truly hungry child was oblivious to all around him. And I'll say that our boys, in row four, had lumpy throats. But finally that big kindly man said:—
From row two, a young, energetic girl shot out, dashing for a doorway; and while that big, kind man was still rubbing his chin, Marian burst in again, rushing and sobbing, to that sad pile of rags, holding out a pint of milk and two hot biscuits. A quick grab by two filthy young hands, a limp flop on a mat at that big mahogany railing, and a truly hungry child was completely unaware of everything around him. I'll say that our boys in row four had tight throats. But finally, that big, kind man said:—
"Though taking things unlawfully is wrong, conditions can occur in which so young a culprit is not at fault. This young chap has had no bringing up, but has run wild. A child will not know right from wrong if not taught; and, as it is a primary animal instinct to obtain food in any way, I will simply put this boy in a school which Branton Hills maintains for just such youths."
"While stealing is wrong, there are situations where a young offender isn’t entirely to blame. This kid has had no proper upbringing and has been left to fend for himself. A child won’t understand right from wrong unless they are taught; and since it’s a basic instinct to seek food by any means, I’ll just enroll this boy in a school that Branton Hills has set up for kids like him."
At this both row two and row four burst out in such a storm of hand-clapping that Gadsby found that this visit had shown his young folks, from actual contact with a child without training, how important child-raising is; and how proud a city is of such as act according to law.
At this, both row two and row four erupted in such a loud round of applause that Gadsby realized this visit had demonstrated to his young people, through actual interaction with an untrained child, how crucial parenting is; and how proud a city is of those who follow the law.
XIV
In almost any big town, around Autumn, you will annually run across that famous agricultural show known as a County Fair; and, as Branton Hills had a big park, which you know all about, right in front of Nancy's and Frank's small bungalow, it was a most natural spot for holding it. And so, as this happy pair's third Autumn got around, stirring activity in that big park also got a-going; for railings for stockyards don't grow all built; yards and yards of brown canvas don't just blow into a park; nor do "hot dog" and popcorn stands jump up from nothing. And Nancy, rocking on that bungalow porch, could watch all this work going on. And rocking was about all that Nancy could, or, I should say, should do, just now.
In nearly any big town, around fall, you will yearly encounter that famous agricultural event known as a County Fair; and since Branton Hills had a large park, which you know all about, right in front of Nancy's and Frank's small bungalow, it was the perfect place to hold it. So, as this cheerful couple's third fall rolled around, the bustling activity in that big park also kicked off; because railings for stockyards don't just appear; yards and yards of brown canvas don't simply materialize in a park; nor do "hot dog" and popcorn stands just pop up out of nowhere. And Nancy, rocking on that bungalow porch, could watch all this work unfold. And rocking was about all that Nancy could, or, I should say, should do right now.
What a sight it was! Trucks; small cars; wagons; a gang with a tractor plowing up hard spots; a gang picking up rocks, grading humpy spots, and laying out ground plans. Masons building walls, and all kinds of goods arriving, by tons. But out of all that confusion and ado a canvas town will grow, strung from top to bottom with gaily flapping flags and hanging bunting, and that customary "mid-way" with its long rows of gaudy billboards, in front of which circus ballyhoo artists will continuously bawl and shout out claims about sword-swallowing, tattooing, hula-hula dancing, boa constrictor charming, or a Punch and Judy show.
What a sight it was! Trucks, small cars, wagons, a crew with a tractor plowing the hard spots, a group picking up rocks, leveling uneven areas, and laying out ground plans. Masons were building walls, and all kinds of goods were arriving by the ton. But out of all that chaos and hustle, a canvas town will emerge, strung from top to bottom with brightly waving flags and hanging banners, and that familiar "midway" with its long rows of flashy billboards, in front of which circus barkers will constantly shout and announce claims about sword swallowing, tattooing, hula dancing, snake charming, or a Punch and Judy show.
At a County Fair two things stand out as most important: farm stock and that oval track around which swiftly trotting colts will thrill thousands; and, I'll say, shrink a bank account or two! But, of all sights, I don't know of any with such drawing ability for kids as just such a carnival lot. So, daily, as soon as school was out, throngs of happy, shouting, hopping, jumping boys and girls would dash for that big park; looking, pointing, and climbing up on auto tops, into lofty oaks, onto tall rocks, or a pal's back; for if anything is difficult for a boy to obtain a sight of, nothing in climbing that an orang-outang can do, will balk him!
At a County Fair, two things stand out as the most important: livestock and that oval track where swiftly trotting colts excite thousands and, let’s be honest, might take a hit on a few bank accounts! But of all the attractions, I can't think of anything that draws kids in like a carnival. So, every day, as soon as school let out, crowds of happy, shouting, bouncing boys and girls would race to that big park; looking, pointing, and climbing on car roofs, into tall oak trees, onto high rocks, or a friend’s back; because if there's something a boy wants to see, nothing an orangutan can do while climbing will stop him!
So Nancy sat calmly rocking, rocking, rocking, and,—but, pardon! I'll go on with this story. All I know is that Frank, arriving from work at Radio Station KBH, wouldn't so much as look at that big carnival lot, but would rush in, in a most loving, solicitous way which always brought a kiss and a blush from Nancy. Now if I don't quit talking about this young pair you won't know anything about that big show going up in front of that happy bungalow. Almost daily Lady Gadsby would drop in on Nancy, bringing all sorts of dainty foods; and His Honor, with Kathlyn, Julius and Bill, paid customary visits.
So Nancy sat calmly rocking back and forth, and—oh, sorry! Let me get back to the story. All I know is that when Frank got home from his shift at Radio Station KBH, he wouldn’t even glance at that huge carnival lot; instead, he would rush in with such love and care that it always earned him a kiss and a blush from Nancy. If I keep talking about this young couple, you won't know anything about that big show happening in front of that cheerful bungalow. Almost every day, Lady Gadsby would stop by to see Nancy, bringing all kinds of delicious treats; and the Mayor, along with Kathlyn, Julius, and Bill, made regular visits.
"But that fair!" you say. "How about that fair?"
"But that fair!" you say. "What about that fair?"
Ah! It was a fair, I'll say! What mobs on that first day! And what a din!! Bands playing, ballyhoos shouting, popcorn a-popping, "hot dogs" a-sizzling, ducks squawking, cows lowing, pigs grunting, an occasional baby squalling; and 'midst it all, a choking cloud of dust, a hot Autumn wind, panting, fanning matrons, cussing husbands; all working toward that big oval track at which all had a flimsy possibility of winning a million or two (or a dollar or two!). Oh, you County Fairs! You bloom in your canvas glory, annually. You draw vast crowds; you show high quality farm stock, gigantic pumpkins, thousands of poultry, including our "Thanksgiving National Bird". You fill coops with fancy squabs, fat rabbits, and day-old chicks. You show many forms of incubators, churns, farming apparatus, pumps, plows, lighting plants for small farms, windmills, "bug" poisons, and poultry foods. And you always add a big balloon, which you anchor, so that kids may soar aloft until a windlass pulls it down. You fill us with food that would kill a wild goat, but you still last! And may you always do so; for, within your flapping, bulging canvas walls, city man rubs against town man, rich and poor girls bump, snobs attain no right of way, and a proud, happy boy or girl shows a "First Class" satin ribbon which a lovingly brought-up calf or poultry brood has won.
Ah! It was a fair, I’ll say! What crowds on that first day! And what a noise!! Bands playing, loudspeakers blaring, popcorn popping, "hot dogs" sizzling, ducks quacking, cows mooing, pigs grunting, an occasional baby crying; and in the midst of it all, a choking cloud of dust, a hot Autumn wind, out-of-breath mothers fanning themselves, swearing husbands; all heading toward that big oval track where everyone had a slim chance of winning a million or two (or a dollar or two!). Oh, you County Fairs! You bloom in your canvas glory every year. You draw huge crowds; you showcase top-notch farm animals, gigantic pumpkins, thousands of birds, including our "Thanksgiving National Bird." You fill coops with fancy squabs, fat rabbits, and day-old chicks. You display all kinds of incubators, churns, farming tools, pumps, plows, small farm lighting systems, windmills, pest poisons, and poultry feed. And you always add a big balloon, which you anchor so that kids can soar up high until a windlass brings it down. You feed us with enough food to satisfy a wild goat, but you still endure! And may you always do so; for, within your flapping, bulging canvas walls, city folks mingle with country folks, rich and poor girls collide, snobs have no special privileges, and a proud, happy boy or girl shows a "First Class" satin ribbon that a lovingly raised calf or batch of birds has won.
Only a satin ribbon, but, displaying it to a group of admiring young pals brings to a child that natural thrill from accomplishing anything worthy of public acclaim. Such thrills will not crowd in as Maturity supplants Youth; and so I say, "a trio of our customary huzzas" for any child who can carry away a satin ribbon from a County Fair.
Only a satin ribbon, but showing it off to a group of admiring friends gives a child that natural excitement from achieving something worthy of recognition. These thrills won't come as maturity takes over youth; so I say, "let's give a round of applause" for any child who can take home a satin ribbon from a County Fair.
But what about our good Mayor during all this circus hullabaloo? Did important thoughts for still improving Branton Hills pass through his busy mind? Not just now; but fond, anxious thoughts did; for his mind was constantly on Nancy; tiny, darling Nancy, his baby girl. For, during that noisy carnival, folks saw (or thought so, you know), a big bird with long shanks and a monstrous bill, circling round and round that small bungalow's roof, plainly looking for a spot to land on. Lady Gadsby and old Doctor Wilkins saw it, too, and told Nancy that that big hospital which our old Organization had built, was holding a room for instant occupancy; and, as that big bird daily swung down, down, down, almost grazing that small roof, Frank, poor chap, as shaky as at his church ritual, thirty months ago, staid away from Radio Station KBH, and stuck to that small bungalow as a fly sticks around a sugar bowl.
But what about our good Mayor during all this circus chaos? Were any important ideas about improving Branton Hills running through his busy mind? Not at the moment; but he was filled with fond, anxious thoughts for his baby girl, Nancy. During that loud carnival, people saw (or thought so, you know) a huge bird with long legs and a massive beak, circling around that little bungalow’s roof, clearly looking for a place to land. Lady Gadsby and old Doctor Wilkins noticed it too, and told Nancy that the big hospital which our old Organization had built was ready to take in patients; and, as that huge bird daily swooped down, down, down, almost touching that small roof, Frank, poor guy, as nervous as he had been during his church ritual thirty months ago, stayed away from Radio Station KBH and stuck to that little bungalow like a fly to a sugar bowl.
Finally, on a crisp Autumn night, that soaring bird shot straight down with such an assuring swoop, that old Doc Wilkins, indoors with Nancy, saw it and said, quickly:—
Finally, on a chilly autumn night, that soaring bird dove straight down with such a confident swoop that old Doc Wilkins, inside with Nancy, saw it and quickly said:—
"On your way, Nancy girl!!" and that part of Branton Hills saw his car racing hospitalwards, with Lady Gadsby fondly patting Nancy's tiny, cold hands, and saying just such loving things as a woman would, naturally, to a young girl on such a trip. But Gadsby and Frank? Ah! Poor, half-crazy things! No car would do at all! No, sir!! A car was far too slow! And so, across lots, down into many a man's yard, and jumping high walls, shot two shadowy forms, arriving at that big hospital, badly blown, just as Lady Gadsby and old Doc Wilkins took Nancy's arms, and got slowly to that big door with its waiting rolling chair.
"On your way, Nancy girl!!" and that part of Branton Hills saw his car speeding toward the hospital, with Lady Gadsby gently holding Nancy's tiny, cold hands and saying all the sweet things a woman would naturally say to a young girl on a trip like this. But Gadsby and Frank? Oh! Poor, half-crazy souls! No car would do at all! No way!! A car was way too slow! So, cutting across lots, down into many backyards, and jumping high walls, two shadowy figures rushed to that big hospital, badly out of breath, just as Lady Gadsby and old Doc Wilkins were taking Nancy's arms and slowly making their way to that big door with its waiting rolling chair.
Now this stork's visit is nothing out of ordinary in World affairs. Millions and billions of visits has it, and its kind, flown—to king's mansion or a black Zulu woman's hut. But this flight was poor Frank's initiation to that awful hour of blank panic, during which a young husband is boiling hot or icy cold in turn. God!! How still a hospital corridor is!! How doctors and assistants do float past without as much sound as falling snow! Oh! How long Frank and His Honor sat, stood, or trod up and down, watching that room door!! What was going on? Was Nancy all right? Oh!! Why this prolonging of agonizing inactivity? Can't anybody say anything? Isn't anybody around, at all? But hospital doctors and nursing staffs, though pitying a young chap, must pass him up for that tiny lady, who now was but a tool in God's hands; in God's magic laboratory. And so—— Ah!! Doctor Wilkins is coming—and smiling!!
Now, this stork's visit isn't anything unusual in world affairs. Millions and billions of visits have been made by it and its kind—to a king's mansion or a black Zulu woman's hut. But this flight marked poor Frank's entry into that awful hour of sheer panic, where a young husband alternates between boiling hot and icy cold. God!! How silent a hospital corridor is!! How doctors and assistants glide by without making a sound, like falling snow! Oh! How long Frank and His Honor sat, stood, or paced back and forth, watching that room door!! What was happening? Was Nancy okay? Oh!! Why is this torturous wait dragging on? Can't anyone say anything? Isn't anybody around, at all? But hospital doctors and nursing staff, though feeling for the young guy, must prioritize that tiny lady, who was now merely a tool in God's hands; in God's magic laboratory. And so—— Ah!! Doctor Wilkins is coming—and smiling!!
"A baby girl—and with a ripping good pair of lungs!" but has to jump quick to catch Frank, who has sunk in a swoon. And Mayor Gadsby's collar is as limp as a dish-rag!
"A baby girl—and she has a powerful set of lungs!" but has to jump quickly to catch Frank, who has passed out. And Mayor Gadsby's collar is as limp as a dish rag!
Ah! Man, man, man! and woman, woman, woman! Just you two! God's only parts in His mighty plan for living actuality. Not only with Man and animals, but also down,—way, way down amongst plants. Just two parts. Only two!! And Baby, you tiny bunch of wriggling, gurgling humanity, by that slowly ticking clock is your turn in this mighty World, unavoidably arriving. Mama, Papa, and all of us will go on, for a bit, growing old and gray, but you, now so young and frail, will stand sturdily, and willingly, in our vacancy; and carry on God's will!
Ah! Man, man, man! and woman, woman, woman! Just you two! You’re the only parts of God's grand design for life. It’s not just about humans and animals, but also way, way down among the plants. Just two parts. Only two!! And Baby, you tiny bundle of squirming, gurgling humanity, it’s your turn in this vast World, inevitably coming. Mama, Papa, and all of us will keep going for a while, growing old and gray, but you, so young and fragile now, will stand strong and ready in our absence; and carry on God's will!
XV
As this is a history of a city I must not stay around any part too long. So, as it was almost "a small morning hour," Nina Adams, a widow, was sitting up; for Virginia, a High School girl, was still out; and, around two-thirty, was brought back in a fast car; two youths actually dumping an unconscious form on Nina's front porch, and dashing madly away. But Nina Adams saw it; and, calling for aid in carrying Virginia indoors, put in a frantic call for old Doc Wilkins, an old, long-ago school pal, who found Nina frantic from not knowing Virginia's condition, nor why the pair of youths shot madly away without calling anybody. But it only took Doctor Wilkins an instant to find out what was wrong; and Nina, noting his tight lips and growing scowl was in an agony of doubt.
Since this is a history of a city, I can’t linger on any part for too long. So, as it was almost "a small morning hour," Nina Adams, a widow, was awake; Virginia, a high school girl, was still out; and around two-thirty, she was brought back in a fast car. Two guys actually dumped an unconscious figure on Nina's front porch and sped away. But Nina Adams saw it happen; and, calling for help to carry Virginia inside, she frantically called old Doc Wilkins, a long-ago school friend, who found Nina in a panic, not knowing Virginia's condition or why the two guys had run off without calling anyone. It only took Doctor Wilkins a moment to figure out what was wrong; and Nina, noticing his tight lips and growing scowl, was in agony from not knowing.
"What is it, Tom? Quick!! I'm almost crazy!!"
"What is it, Tom? Quick!! I'm going crazy!!"
Dr. Wilkins, standing by Virginia's couch, said, slowly:—
Dr. Wilkins, standing by Virginia's couch, said, slowly:—
"It's nothing to worry about, Nina. Virginia will pull through all right, by morning."
"Don’t worry about it, Nina. Virginia will be fine by morning."
But that didn't satisfy Nina Adams, not for an instant, and Dr. Wilkins, knowing that ironclad spirit of school days which would stand for no obstructions in its path, saw that a "blow-up" was coming; but, through a kindly thought for this woman's comfort, did not say what his diagnosis was, until Nina, now actually livid with worry, said:—
But that didn't satisfy Nina Adams, not for an instant, and Dr. Wilkins, aware of that unyielding attitude from her school days that wouldn't accept any obstacles, realized that a "blow-up" was imminent; however, out of consideration for her comfort, he held back his diagnosis until Nina, visibly anxious and almost furious, spoke up:—
"Tom Wilkins! Doctor Wilkins, if you wish,—I claim a natural right to know why my child is unconscious! And you, a physician, cannot, by law, withhold such information!!"
"Tom Wilkins! Doctor Wilkins, if you prefer—I have a right to know why my child is unconscious! And you, as a physician, cannot legally keep that information from me!!"
But Wilkins, trying to find a way out of a most unhappy condition of affairs, said:—
But Wilkins, looking for a way out of a really bad situation, said:—
"Now, Nina, you know I wouldn't hold anything from you if Virginia was critically ill, but that is not so. If you'll only wait until morning you'll find that I am right."
"Now, Nina, you know I wouldn't keep anything from you if Virginia were seriously ill, but that's not the case. If you'll just wait until morning, you'll see that I'm right."
But this only built obstruction upon obstruction to Nina's strong will, until Dr. Wilkins, noticing coming total prostration, had to say:—
But this just added more obstacles to Nina's strong will, until Dr. Wilkins, noticing her imminent breakdown, had to say:—
"Nina, Virginia is drunk; horribly drunk."
"Nina, Virginia is wasted; really wasted."
"Drunk!!" Widow Adams had to grab wildly at a chair, sinking into it; at first as limp as a rag, but instantly springing up, blood surging to a throbbing brow. "Drunk! Drunk!! My baby drunk!! Tom, I thank you for trying to ward off this shock; but I'll say right now, with my hand on high, that I am going to start a rumpus about this atrocity that will rock Branton Hills to its foundations! Who got this young school-girl drunk? I know that Virginia wouldn't drink that stuff willingly. How could it occur? I pay through taxation for a patrolman in this district; in fact in all districts of this city. What is a patrolman for, if not to watch for just such abominations as this, pray?"
"Drunk!!" Widow Adams had to grab wildly at a chair, sinking into it; at first as limp as a rag, but instantly springing up, blood rushing to a pounding forehead. "Drunk! Drunk!! My baby is drunk!! Tom, I appreciate you trying to shield me from this shock; but I'll say right now, with my hand raised high, that I am going to create a commotion about this outrage that will shake Branton Hills to its core! Who got this young schoolgirl drunk? I know Virginia wouldn't drink that stuff willingly. How could this happen? I pay taxes for a patrol officer in this district; in fact, in all districts of this city. What is a patrol officer for, if not to watch out for just such horrors as this, I ask?"
Dr. Wilkins didn't say, though probably thinking of a rumor that had run around town for a month or two. At this point Virginia, partly conscious, was murmuring:—
Dr. Wilkins didn't say anything, but he was likely thinking about a rumor that had been going around town for a month or two. At this moment, Virginia, partially aware, was murmuring:—
"Oh, Norman! Don't!! I can't drink it! Oh! I'm so sick!!"
"Oh, Norman! Don't!! I can’t drink it! Oh! I'm so sick!!"
This brought forth all of Nina Adams' fury instantly.
This instantly sparked all of Nina Adams' anger.
"Aha! Aha! Norman! So that's it! That's Norman Antor, that low-down, good-for-nothing night-owl! Son of our big Councilman Antor. So!! It's 'Norman! I can't drink it'! Tom Wilkins, this thing is going to court!!"
"Aha! Aha! Norman! So that's it! That's Norman Antor, that worthless, lazy night-owl! Son of our big Councilman Antor. So!! It's 'Norman! I can't drink it'! Tom Wilkins, this is going to court!!"
* * * *
* * * *
"What? High School boys forcing young girls to drink? And right in our glorious Branton Hills? Oh, but, Doc! This can't pass without a trial!"
"What? High school boys forcing young girls to drink? And right here in our wonderful Branton Hills? Oh, but, Doc! This can't go by without a trial!"
"That's all right, John; but a thorn sticks out, right in plain sight."
"That's okay, John; but there's a thorn sticking out, clearly visible."
"Thorn? Thorn? What kind of a thorn?" and our Mayor was flushing hard, as no kind of wild thoughts would point to any kind of thorns.
"Thorn? Thorn? What kind of thorn?" our Mayor asked, blushing intensely, as no wild thoughts would suggest any kind of thorns.
"That thorn," said Wilkins, "is young Norman Antor; son of——"
"That thorn," said Wilkins, "is young Norman Antor; son of——"
"Not of Councilman Antor?"
"Not from Councilman Antor?"
"I am sorry to say that it is so," and Wilkins told of Virginia's half-conscious murmurings. "And Nina wants to know why, with a patrolman in all parts of town, it isn't known that all this drinking is going on. I didn't say what I thought, but you know that a patrolman don't go into dancing pavilions and night clubs until conditions sanction it."
"I hate to say it, but it’s true," Wilkins shared about Virginia's half-conscious mumblings. "And Nina is wondering why, with a cop in every neighborhood, no one knows about all this drinking happening. I didn’t voice my thoughts, but you know a cop doesn’t go into dance halls and nightclubs until it’s safe to do so."
"Who is supplying this liquor?"
"Who's supplying this alcohol?"
"Councilman Antor; but without knowing it."
"Councilman Antor; but without realizing it."
All His Honor could say was to gasp:—
All His Honor could do was gasp:—
"How do you know that, Doc?" and Wilkins told of four calls for him in four days, to young girls, similarly drunk.
"How do you know that, Doc?" Wilkins told about four calls for him in four days, to young girls, who were equally drunk.
"And my first call was to young Mary—Antor's tiny Grammar School kid, who was as drunk as Virginia; but, on coming out of it, told of robbing Antor's pantry, in which liquor was always on hand for his political pals, you know; that poor kid taking it to various affairs and giving it to boys; and winning 'popularity' that way."
"And my first call was to young Mary—Antor's little Grammar School kid, who was just as drunk as Virginia; but once she came to, she talked about raiding Antor's pantry, where he always kept liquor on hand for his political pals, you know; that poor kid taking it to different events and handing it out to boys; and gaining 'popularity' that way."
"So," said Gadsby, "Councilman Antor's boy and girl, brought up in a family with liquor always handy, now, with ignorant, childish braggadocio, bring Councilman Antor into this mix-up! I'm sorry for Antor; but his pantry is in for an official visit."
"So," said Gadsby, "Councilman Antor's son and daughter, raised in a family where alcohol was always available, are now, with naive, childish arrogance, dragging Councilman Antor into this situation! I feel for Antor; but he's about to have an official inspection of his pantry."
It wasn't so long from this day that Court got around to this rumpus. To say that that big room was full, would put it mildly. Although, according to an old saying, "a cat is only as big as its skin," that room's walls almost burst, as groups of church organizations and law abiding inhabitants almost fought for admission; until standing room was nothing but a suffocating jam. As Gadsby and Doc Wilkins sat watching that sight, Gadsby said:—
It wasn't long before Court addressed this commotion. To say that the large room was full would be an understatement. Although there's an old saying, "a cat is only as big as its skin," the walls of that room were nearly bursting, as groups from various church organizations and law-abiding residents almost struggled to get in; the standing room was just a packed, suffocating mess. As Gadsby and Doc Wilkins observed this scene, Gadsby said:—
"It's an outpouring of rightful wrath by a proud city's population; who, having put out good, hard work in bringing it to its high standing as a community, today, will not stand for anything that will put a blot on its municipal flag, which is, right now, proudly flying on City Hall."
"It's a surge of justified anger from a proud city's residents; they have devoted significant hard work to elevate their community to its current status and will not tolerate anything that tarnishes its reputation, especially with its flag proudly flying on City Hall right now."
As Wilkins was about to say so, a rising murmur was rolling in from out back, for Norman Antor was coming in, in custody of a big patrolman, and with four youths, all looking, not only anxious, but plainly showing humiliation at such an abomination against trusting young girlhood. Scowls and angry rumblings told that high official, way up in back of that mahogany railing, that but a spark would start a riot. So, in a calm, almost uncanny way, this first trial of its kind in Branton Hills got along to a court official calling, loudly:—
As Wilkins was about to speak, a growing murmur came from the back, as Norman Antor entered, escorted by a large patrolman, along with four young men who looked not only anxious but clearly embarrassed by such a disgrace against innocent young women. Frowns and upset murmurs indicated to the high-ranking official behind the mahogany railing that it would only take a spark to ignite a riot. So, in a composed, almost eerie manner, this first trial of its kind in Branton Hills proceeded to a court official calling out loudly:—
"Virginia Adams!!"
"Virginia Adams!"
If you think that you know what a totally still room is, by no kink of your imagination could you possibly know such an awful, frightful hush as struck that crowd dumb, as Virginia, a tall, dark, willowy, stylish girl quickly took that chair, from which Truth, in all its purity, is customarily brought out. But Virginia was not a bit shaky nor anxious, nor doubtful of an ability to go through with this ugly task.
If you think you know what a completely quiet room is, there's no way you can imagine the awful, terrifying silence that left that crowd speechless when Virginia, a tall, dark, graceful, fashionable girl, quickly took the chair where Truth, in all its purity, is usually revealed. But Virginia wasn't at all shaky, anxious, or doubtful about her ability to handle this uncomfortable task.
Gadsby and Doc Wilkins sat watching Nina; Gadsby with profound sympathy, but Wilkins with an old school-pal's intuition, watching for a blow-up. But Nina didn't blow up, that is, not visibly; but that famous rigid will was boiling, full tilt; boiling up to a point for landing, "tooth and claw" on our pompous Councilman's son, if things didn't turn out satisfactorily.
Gadsby and Doc Wilkins sat observing Nina; Gadsby with deep sympathy, but Wilkins with an old friend's intuition, waiting for an explosion. But Nina didn't explode, at least not visibly; however, that famous strong will was boiling, full throttle; getting ready to land "tooth and claw" on our pretentious Councilman's son if things didn't go well.
Virginia didn't occupy that stand long; it was only a half-sobbing account of a night at a dancing pavilion; and with a sob or two from a woman or girl in that vast crowd. All Virginia said was:—
Virginia didn't stay there long; it was just a half-sobbing recount of a night at a dance hall; and with a sob or two from a woman or girl in that huge crowd. All Virginia said was:—
"Norman Antor said I was a cry-baby if I wouldn't drink with him. But I said, 'All right; I am a cry-baby! And I always will turn 'cry-baby' if anybody insists that I drink that stuff.'" (Just a short lull, a valiant fight for control, and)—"But I had to drink!! Norman was tipping my chair back and John Allison was forcing that glass into my mouth! I got so sick I couldn't stand up, and didn't know a thing until I found I was on a couch in my own parlor."
"Norman Antor called me a cry-baby for not wanting to drink with him. But I replied, 'Fine; I am a cry-baby! And I always will be a cry-baby if anyone tries to force me to drink that stuff.' (Just a short pause, a brave struggle for control, and)—'But I had to drink!! Norman was tilting my chair back while John Allison was shoving that glass into my mouth! I got so sick I couldn't stand, and I didn't know anything until I realized I was on a couch in my own living room.'"
A court official said, kindly:—
A court official said politely:—
"That will do, Miss Adams."
"That'll do, Miss Adams."
During this, Nina was glaring at Norman; but Virginia's bringing Allison into it, also, was too much. But Wilkins, watching narrowly, said, snappingly:—
During this, Nina was glaring at Norman, but Virginia bringing Allison into it was just too much. However, Wilkins, watching closely, said sharply:—
Now this trial was too long to go into, word for word; so I'll say that not only Norman Antor and Allison, but also our big, pompous Councilman Antor, according to our popular slang, "got in bad"; and Branton Hills' dancing and night spots got word to prohibit liquor or shut up shop. Young Mary Antor was shown that liquor, in dancing pavilions or in a family pantry was not good for young girls; and soon this most disgusting affair was a part of Branton Hills' history. And what vast variations a city's history contains! What valorous acts by far-thinking officials! What dark daubs of filth by avaricious crooks! What an array of past Mayors; what financial ups and downs; what growth in population. But, as I am this particular city's historian, with strict orthography controlling it, this history will not rank, in volubility, with any by an author who can sow, broadcast, all handy, common words which continuously try to jump into it!
Now this trial was too long to go into, word for word; so I'll just say that not only Norman Antor and Allison, but also our grand, over-the-top Councilman Antor, as people say these days, "got in trouble"; and Branton Hills' dance venues and nightlife got the message to ban alcohol or close down. Young Mary Antor was shown that alcohol, whether in dance halls or in family storage, wasn't good for young girls; and soon this utterly disgusting incident became a part of Branton Hills' history. And what a wide range of events a city's history holds! What brave actions by forward-thinking officials! What grim deeds by greedy criminals! What a lineup of past mayors; what financial ups and downs; what growth in population. But, as I am this particular city's historian, with strict orthography controlling it, this history won't match the fluency of any author who can easily throw in all the simple, everyday words that constantly try to make their way into it!
XVI
Branton Hills, now an up-to-today city, coming to that point of motorizing all city apparatus, had just a last, solitary company of that class which an inhabitant frantically calls to a burning building—Company Four, in our big shopping district; all apparatus of which was still animal drawn; four big, husky chaps: two blacks and two roans. Any thought of backing in any sort of motor apparatus onto this floor, upon which this loyal four had, during many months, stood, champing at bits, pawing and whinnying to start out that big door, in daylight or night-gloom, calm or storm,—was mighty tough for old Dowd and Clancy. A man living day and night with such glorious, vivacious animals, grows to look upon such as almost human. Bright, brainy, sparkling colts can win a strong hold on a man, you know.
Branton Hills, now a modern city, at the point of fully motorizing its city services, had just one last, lone company that residents desperately called upon when there was a fire—a Company Four, located in our main shopping area; all of their equipment was still pulled by horses: four big, strong guys: two blacks and two browns. The idea of backing any kind of motor vehicle onto this floor, where these loyal four had stood for months, restless and eager to rush out that big door, whether in daylight or darkness, calm or storm, was really tough for old Dowd and Clancy. A man who spends day and night with such remarkable, lively animals starts to see them as almost human. You know, bright, smart, energetic horses can really capture a man’s heart.
And now!! What form of disposal was awaiting "Big Four", as Clancy and Dowd took a fond joy in dubbing this pair of blacks and two roans? Clancy and Dowd didn't know anything but that a mass of cogs, piping, brass railings, an intricacy of knobs, buttons, spark-plugs, forward clutch and so forth was coming tomorrow.
And now!! What kind of disposal was in store for "Big Four," as Clancy and Dowd affectionately called this pair of black horses and two roans? Clancy and Dowd had no clue other than that a complex arrangement of gears, pipes, brass railings, an intricate mix of knobs, buttons, spark plugs, a forward clutch, and so on was arriving tomorrow.
"Aw!!" said Dowd, moaningly, "you know, Clancy, that good old light shifting about and that light 'stomping' in that row of stalls, at night; you know, old man, that happy crunching of corn; that occasional cough; that tail-swatting at a fly or crazy zigzagging moth; that grand animal odor from that back part of this floor."
"Aw!!" said Dowd, moaning, "you know, Clancy, that good old light moving around and that light 'stomping' in that row of stalls at night; you know, old man, that satisfying crunching of corn; that occasional cough; that swishing of tails at a fly or a crazy zigzagging moth; that amazing animal smell from the back of this floor."
"I do," said Clancy. "And now what? A loud whizz of a motor! A suffocating blast of gas! and a dom thing a-standin' on this floor, wid no brain; wid nothin' lovin' about it. Wid no soul."
"I do," said Clancy. "And now what? A loud whir of a motor! A suffocating blast of gas! And a dumb thing standing on this floor, with no brain; with nothing caring about it. With no soul."
"Um-m-m," said Dowd, "I dunno about an animal havin' a soul, but it's got a thing not so dom far from it."
"Um-m-m," said Dowd, "I don't know about an animal having a soul, but it has something not too far from it."
As Clancy sat worrying about various forms of disposal for Big Four, an official phoning from City Hall, said just an ordinary, common word, which had Clancy hopping up and down, furiously mad.
As Clancy sat fretting about different ways to get rid of Big Four, a call from City Hall used just a simple, everyday word that had Clancy jumping up and down, furiously mad.
"What's all this? What's all this?" Dowd sang out, coming from a stall, in which a good rubbing down of a shiny coat, and continuous loving pats had brought snuggling and nosing.
"What's going on? What's going on?" Dowd called out, coming from a stall, where a thorough grooming of a shiny coat and constant gentle pats had led to snuggling and nuzzling.
"Auction!!" said Clancy, wildly, and sitting down with a thud.
"Auction!!" Clancy shouted excitedly, plopping down with a thud.
"Uh-huh; that's what City Hall says."
"Yeah; that's what City Hall says."
An awful calm slunk insidiously onto that big smooth floor, as Dowd and Clancy, chins on hands, sat,—just thinking! Finally Clancy burst out with:—
An eerie silence crept in on that big, smooth floor as Dowd and Clancy, resting their chins on their hands, sat there—just thinking! Finally, Clancy broke the silence with:—
"Aw! If an alarm would only ring in, right now, to stop my brain from cracking! Auction! Bah!!"
"Aw! If only an alarm would ring right now to stop my brain from cracking! Auction! Ugh!!"
* * * *
* * * *
A big crowd stood in City Park, including His Honor, many a Councilman, and, naturally, Old Bill Simpkins, who was always bound to know what was going on. A loud, fast-talking man, on a high stand, was shouting:—
A big crowd gathered in City Park, including the Mayor, several Council members, and, of course, Old Bill Simpkins, who always knew what was happening. A loud, fast-talking guy on a high platform was shouting:—
"All right, you guys! How much? How much for this big black? A mountain of muscular ability! Young, kind, willing, smart! How much? How much?"
"Okay, everyone! How much? How much for this big black one? A powerhouse of strength! Young, friendly, eager, smart! How much? How much?"
Bids abominably low at first, but slowly crawling up; crawling slowly, as a boa constrictor crawls up on its victim. But, without fail, as a bid was sung out from that surging, gawking, chin-lifting mob, a woman, way in back, would surpass it! And that woman hung on, as no boa constrictor could! Gadsby, way down in front, couldn't fathom it, at all. Why should a woman want Big Four? A solitary animal, possibly, but four! So His Honor, turning and making his way toward that back row, ran smack into Nancy.
Bids started off ridiculously low, but gradually climbed; climbing slowly, like a boa constrictor moving in on its prey. But, without fail, whenever a bid was shouted out from that restless, staring, neck-stretching crowd, a woman way in the back would top it! And that woman held on tighter than any boa constrictor could! Gadsby, up front, couldn’t understand it at all. Why would a woman want Big Four? Maybe a lone animal, sure, but four! So His Honor, turning and heading toward that back row, bumped right into Nancy.
"Daddy! Lady Standish is outbidding all this crowd!"
"Dad! Lady Standish is outbidding everyone here!"
"Oho! So that's it!"
"Oh, so that's it!"
So Gadsby, pushing his way again through that jam, and coming to that most worthy woman, said:—
So Gadsby, making his way through the crowd again, and reaching that very admirable woman, said:—
"By golly, Sally! It's plain that you want Big Four."
"Wow, Sally! It's clear that you want Big Four."
"John Gadsby, you ought to know that I do. Why! A man might buy that big pair of roans to hitch up to a plow! Or hook a big black onto an ash cart!"
"John Gadsby, you should know that I do. Why! A guy might buy that big pair of roans to attach to a plow! Or connect a big black horse to an ash cart!"
"I know that, Sally, but that small back yard of yours is——"
"I know that, Sally, but your small backyard is——"
"John!! Do your Municipal occupations knock all past days' doings out of your skull? You know that I own a grand, big patch of land out in our suburbs, half as big as Branton Hills. So this Big Four will just run around, jump, roll, kick, and loaf until doomsday, if I can wallop this mob out of bidding."
"John! Do your city responsibilities make you forget everything that happened before? You know that I have a huge piece of land out in the suburbs, half the size of Branton Hills. So this Big Four will just run around, jump, roll, kick, and chill until the end of time if I can kick this group out of bidding."
As Lady Standish was long known as standing first in valuation on Branton Hills' tax list, nobody in that crowd was so foolish as to hang on, in a war of bidding, against that bankroll. So Gadsby shook hands, put an arm about Nancy, walking happily away, as a roar of plaudits shot out from that crowd, for that loud, fast-talking man was announcing:—
As Lady Standish had long been known as standing at the top of the valuation on Branton Hills' tax list, no one in the crowd was foolish enough to stay in a bidding war against that kind of money. So Gadsby shook hands, put his arm around Nancy, and walked away happily while the crowd erupted in applause as that loud, fast-talking man was announcing:—
"Sold! All four to Lady Standish!!"
"Sold! All four to Lady Standish!!"
As Gadsby and Nancy ran across Old Bill Simpkins, Gadsby said:—
As Gadsby and Nancy ran into Old Bill Simpkins, Gadsby said:—
"Bill, you know that grand old day. Look! A building is burning! A patrolman has put in an alarm! And now look! Coming down Broadway! Two big blacks, and following on, two big roans! What grand, mighty animals! Nostrils dilating; big hoofs pounding; gigantic flanks bulging; mighty lungs snorting; monstrous backs straining; thick, full tails standing straight out. Coming, sir! Coming, sir!! Just as fast as brain and brawn can! And that gong-clanging, air-splitting, whistling, shining, sizzling, smoking four tons of apparatus roars past, grinding and banging on Broadway's paving! You saw all that, Bill."
"Bill, you remember that unforgettable day. Look! A building is on fire! A cop has called it in! And now look! Coming down Broadway! Two huge black horses, and right behind them, two big brown ones! What amazing, powerful animals! Nostrils flaring; big hooves thundering; muscular bodies rippling; strong lungs snorting; massive backs straining; thick, flowing tails up in the air. They're coming, sir! They're coming, sir!! As fast as they can go! And that loud, attention-grabbing, whistling, gleaming, hissing, smoking four-ton fire truck roars past, rumbling and clashing on Broadway's pavement! You saw all that, Bill."
"Uh-huh," said Simpkins, "but a motor don't hurt our paving so much."
"Uh-huh," said Simpkins, "but a motor doesn’t damage our paving as much."
"Poor, cranky old Bill! Always running things down."
"Poor, grumpy old Bill! Always complaining about everything."
But how about Clancy and Dowd? On moving out from that big park, that happy pair, if Knighthood was in bloom today, would bow low, and kiss fair Lady Standish's hand.
But what about Clancy and Dowd? After leaving that big park, that happy couple, if Knighthood was alive today, would bow deeply and kiss fair Lady Standish's hand.
XVII
Oh, hum. Now that Nancy's baby is gurgling or squalling, according to a full tummy, or tooth conditions; and Nancy is looking, as Gadsby says, "as good as a million dollars," I find that that busy young son-of-a-gun, Dan Cupid, is still snooping around Branton Hills. And now who do you think is hit? Try to think of a lot of girls in Gadsby's old Organization of Youth. No, it's not Sarah Young, nor Lucy Donaldson, nor Virginia Adams. It was brought to your historian in this way:—
Meh. Now that Nancy's baby is gurgling or crying, depending on whether it’s full or teething; and Nancy looks, as Gadsby puts it, "as good as a million dollars," I see that that busy young guy, Dan Cupid, is still hanging around Branton Hills. And now who do you think he's got his sights on? Think about all the girls in Gadsby's old Organization of Youth. No, it’s not Sarah Young, nor Lucy Donaldson, nor Virginia Adams. It was brought to your historian in this way:—
Lady Gadsby and His Honor sat around his parlor lamp, His Honor noticing that Lady G. was smiling, finally saying:—
Lady Gadsby and His Honor sat around his parlor lamp, His Honor noticing that Lady G. was smiling, finally saying:—
"John."
"John."
"Uh-huh."
"Okay."
"Kathlyn and John Smith,——"
"Kathlyn and John Smith,"
"What?"
"What?"
"I said that Kathlyn and John Smith want to——"
"I said that Kathlyn and John Smith want to——"
"Oho! Aha!! I'll call up Pastor Brown to start right off dolling up his big church!"
"Oho! Aha!! I’m going to call Pastor Brown to get started on sprucing up his big church!"
"No, no! Not now! Wait about six months. This is only a troth. Folks don't jump into matrimony, that way."
"No, no! Not now! Wait about six months. This is just an engagement. People don’t rush into marriage like that."
John Smith was Branton Hills' famous church organist; and, at a small, dainty lunch, Kathlyn told of this troth. In a day or two about all Branton Hills' young girlhood had, on rushing in, told Kathlyn what a grand chap John was; and all that town's young manhood had told John similar things about Kathlyn. So, as this is a jumpy sort of a story, anyway, why not skip months of happy ardor, and find how this tying of an additional knot in our Mayor's family will turn out? You know that Kathlyn don't think much of pomp or show, and such a big church ritual as Nancy had is all right if you want it, but Kathlyn had fond thoughts of just a small, parlor affair, with only a group of old chums; and no throwing of old boots, and "sharp food-grains," which work downward, to scratch your back, or stick in your hair as stubbornly as burrs.
John Smith was the famous church organist in Branton Hills; and during a small, elegant lunch, Kathlyn shared the news of their engagement. Within a day or two, nearly every young girl in Branton Hills rushed to tell Kathlyn what a great guy John was, and the town’s young men told John similar things about Kathlyn. So, since this story jumps around a bit, why not skip ahead through months of happy excitement and see how adding this new chapter to our Mayor's family will turn out? You know that Kathlyn doesn’t care much for pomp or show, and while a big church ceremony like Nancy had is fine if you want it, Kathlyn preferred the idea of a small gathering in a parlor, with just a few close friends; and no throwing of old shoes or "sharp food-grains," which fall down and scratch your back or stubbornly get stuck in your hair like burrs.
"Such crazy doings," said Kathlyn, "always look foolish. It's odd how anybody can follow up such antiquarian customs."
"Such crazy things," said Kathlyn, "always seem ridiculous. It's strange how anyone can still follow such outdated customs."
As Kathlyn's big night was drawing nigh, Lady Gadsby and Nancy had constantly thought of a word synonymous with "woman", and that word is "scrub." Which is saying that Gadsby's mansion was about to submit to a gigantic scrubbing, painting, dusting, and so forth, so that Kathlyn should start out on that ship of matrimony from a spic-span wharf. Just why a woman thinks that a grain of dust in a totally inconspicuous spot is such a catastrophic abnormality is hard to say; but if you simply broach a thought that a grain of it might lurk in back of a piano, or up back of an oil painting, a flood of soap-suds will instantly burst forth; and any man who can find any of his things for four days is a clairvoyant, or a magician!
As Kathlyn's big night was approaching, Lady Gadsby and Nancy were constantly trying to come up with a word that means "woman," and that word is "scrub." This means that Gadsby's mansion was about to undergo a massive cleaning, painting, dusting, and so on, so that Kathlyn could set off on her marriage journey from a spotless dock. It's hard to understand why a woman believes that a speck of dust in an entirely hidden corner is such a huge problem; but if you even suggest that a single particle might be hiding behind the piano or behind an oil painting, a wave of soap suds will suddenly appear; and any man who can find his belongings for four days is either a psychic or a magician!
As Gadsby sat watching all this his thoughts took this form:—
As Gadsby sat there watching all of this, his thoughts turned to the following:—
"Isn't it surprising what an array of things a woman can drag forth, burrowing into attics, rooms and nooks! Things long out of mind; an old thing; a worn-out thing; but it has lain in that room, nook or bag until just such a riot of soap and scrubbing brush brings it out. And, as I think of it, a human mind could, and should go through just such a ransacking, occasionally; for you don't know half of what an accumulation of rubbish is kicking about, in its dark, musty corridors. Old fashions in thoughts; bigotry; vanity; all lying stagnant. So why not drag out and sort all that stuff, discarding all which is of no valuation? About half of us will find, in our minds, a room, having on its door a card, saying: "It Was Not So In My Day." Go at that room, right off. That "My Day" is long past. "Today" is boss, now. If that "My Day" could crawl up on "Today," what a mix-up in World affairs would occur! Ox cart against aircraft; oil lamps against arc lights! Slow, mail information against radio! But, as all this stuff is laid out, what will you do with it? Nobody wants it. So I say, burn it, and tomorrow morning, how happy you will find that musty old mind!"
"Isn't it surprising what a woman can pull out when she searches through attics, rooms, and corners? Things forgotten long ago; an old thing; a worn-out thing; but it has been sitting in that room, corner, or bag until just the right chaos of soap and scrubbing brings it back to light. And as I think about it, a human mind could, and should, go through a similar cleaning every now and then; because you don't know half of the clutter that's lingering in its dark, dusty corners. Old patterns of thinking; bigotry; vanity; all sitting stagnant. So why not pull out and organize all that stuff, getting rid of what holds no value? About half of us will find a room in our minds with a sign on the door that says: "It Was Not So In My Day." Go into that room right away. That "My Day" is long gone. "Today" is in charge now. If that "My Day" could somehow crawl up to "Today," what a mess in the world that would create! Ox carts versus airplanes; oil lamps versus arc lights! Slow, delivered messages versus radio! But as all this is laid out, what will you do with it? Nobody wants it. So I say, burn it all, and tomorrow morning, you'll feel so much happier with that musty old mind!"
But His Honor's mansion finally got back to normal as clouds of dust and swats and slaps from dusting cloths had shown Lady Gadsby and Kathlyn that "that parlor was simply awful" though Gadsby, Julius and Bill always had thought that "It looks all right," causing Kathlyn to say:—
But the judge's house eventually returned to normal after clouds of dust and the sounds of dusting cloths revealed to Lady Gadsby and Kathlyn that "this parlor is just terrible," even though Gadsby, Julius, and Bill always believed that "it looks fine," prompting Kathlyn to say:—
"A man thinks all dust stays outdoors."
"A man believes all dirt remains outside."
Though marrying off a girl in church is a big proposition, it can't discount, in important data, doing a similar act in a parlor; for, as a parlor is a mighty small room in comparison with a church, you can't point to an inch of it that won't do its small part on such an occasion; so a woman will find about a thousand spots in which to put tacks from which to run strings holding floral chains, sprays, or small lights. So Gadsby, Bill and Julius, with armfuls of string and mouthfuls of tacks, not only put in hours at pounding said tacks, but an occasional vigorous word told that a thumb was substituting! But what man wouldn't gladly bang his thumb, or bark his shins on a wobbly stool, to aid so charming a girl as Kathlyn? And, on that most romantically important of all days!!
Though marrying off a girl in church is a big deal, it doesn't mean doing something similar in a living room is any less significant; after all, a living room is a lot smaller than a church, but you can use every inch of it for such an event. So, a woman will find about a thousand places to put tacks for running strings to hold floral chains, sprays, or small lights. Gadsby, Bill, and Julius, with their arms full of string and mouths full of tacks, spent hours pounding in those tacks, and the occasional loud exclamation made it clear when someone hit their thumb! But what guy wouldn't happily hit his thumb or bang his shins on a wobbly stool to help out a girl as charming as Kathlyn? And on that incredibly important day!!
Anyway, that day's night finally cast its soft shadows on Branton Hills. Night, with its twinkling stars, its lightning-bugs, and its call for girls' most glorious wraps; and youths' "swallowtails", and tall silk hats,—is Cupid's own; lacking but organ music to turn it into Utopia.
Anyway, that night at Branton Hills finally settled in, casting its gentle shadows. Night, with its sparkling stars, fireflies, and the girls’ most beautiful wraps; and the guys’ "swallowtail" coats and tall silk hats—belongs to Cupid; it just needs some organ music to become paradise.
"I'm only going to marry a man; not put on a circus for all Branton Hills."
"I'm only going to marry a man, not put on a show for all of Branton Hills."
"All right, darling," said Gadsby, "you shall marry in a pitch dark room if you wish; for, as you say, a small, parlor affair is just as binding as a big church display. It's only your vows that count."
"Okay, sweetheart," said Gadsby, "you can get married in a completely dark room if you want; because, as you said, a small, home ceremony is just as official as a big church event. It’s only your promises that matter."
So but a small group stood lovingly in Gadsby's parlor, as Parson Brown brought into unity Kathlyn and John. Kathlyn was radiantly happy; and John, our famous organist, was as happy with only charming Sarah Young at an upright piano, as any organist in a big choir loft.
A small group gathered warmly in Gadsby's parlor as Parson Brown united Kathlyn and John. Kathlyn was radiantly happy, and John, our well-known organist, was just as happy with the lovely Sarah Young at an upright piano as any organist could be in a big choir loft.
But to Lady Gadsby and His Honor, this was, in a way, a sad affair; for that big mansion now had lost two of its inhabitants; and, as many old folks know, a vast gap, or chasm thus forms, backward across which flit happy visions of laughing, romping, happy girlhood; happy hours around a sitting room lamp; and loving trips in night's small hours to a room or two, just to know that a small girl was all right, or that a big girl was not in a draft. But, though marrying off a girl will bring such a vacancy, that happy start out into a world throbbing with vitality and joy, can allay a bit of that void in a big mansion, or a small cabin. A birth, a tooth, a growth, a mating; and, again a birth, a tooth, and so on. Such is that mighty Law, which was laid down on that first of all days; and which will control Man, animal, and plant until that last of all nights.
But for Lady Gadsby and His Honor, this was, in a way, a sad situation; because that big mansion had now lost two of its residents. Many older folks know that a huge gap forms, connecting back to happy memories of laughter and carefree girlhood; joyful moments spent around a living room lamp; and tender late-night trips to check on a small girl or ensure that a big girl wasn't catching a draft. However, even though marrying off a girl creates such emptiness, that exciting journey into a world full of life and joy can help fill that void in a large mansion or a small cabin. A birth, a tooth, a milestone, a relationship; then another birth, another tooth, and so on. This is the great Law established on the very first day, governing mankind, animals, and plants until the final night.
So it was first Nancy, and now Kathlyn; and Branton Hills' gossips thought of Bill and Julius, with whom many a young, romantic maid would gladly sit in a wistaria-drooping arbor on a warm, moon-lit night; flighty maids with Bill, adoring his high class social gossip; studious maids with Julius, finding much to think about in his practical talks on physics, zoology, and natural history. But Bill and Julius had shown no liability of biting at any alluring bait on any matrimonial hook; and Gadsby, winking knowingly, would say:—
So first it was Nancy, then Kathlyn; and the gossip in Branton Hills speculated about Bill and Julius, with whom many young, dreamy girls would happily sit in a wisteria-covered arbor on a warm, moonlit night; flirtatious girls with Bill, enamored by his high-society gossip; serious girls with Julius, finding plenty to ponder in his practical discussions on physics, zoology, and natural history. But Bill and Julius showed no interest in any tempting offers on any marriage proposals; and Gadsby, winking knowingly, would say:—
"Bill is too frivolous, just now; and Julius too busy at our Hall of Natural History. But just wait until Dan Cupid starts shooting again, and watch things whiz!"
"Bill is being way too carefree right now, and Julius is too focused on our Hall of Natural History. But just wait until Cupid starts doing his thing again, and see how things start to move!"
XVIII
Sarah, walking along past City Park on a raw, cold night, found a tiny,—oh so tiny,—puppy, whining, shaking and crying with cold. Picking up that small bunch of babyhood, Sarah was in quandary as just what to do; but Priscilla Standish, coming along, said:—
Sarah, passing by City Park on a chilly, cold night, found a tiny—oh so tiny—puppy, whining, shaking, and crying from the cold. As she picked up that little bundle of innocence, Sarah was uncertain about what to do; but Priscilla Standish, coming by, said:—
"Oh! Poor baby!! Who owns him, Sarah?"
"Oh! Poor baby!! Who does he belong to, Sarah?"
"I don't know; but say! Wouldn't your Ma——"
"I don't know; but hey! Wouldn't your mom——"
"My Ma would!! Bring him along, and wrap your cloak around him. It's awfully cold for so young a puppy."
"My mom would!! Bring him along, and wrap your coat around him. It's really cold for such a young puppy."
So Lady Standish, with that "back-yard zoo" soon had his quaking babyship lapping good warm milk, and a stumpy tail wagging as only a tiny puppy's stumpy tail can wag. Along towards six o'clock a vigorous pounding on Lady Standish's front door brought Priscilla, to find Old Bill Simpkins with a tiny, wildly sobbing girl of about four. Walking into Lady Standish's parlor, Simpkins said:—
So Lady Standish, with that "back-yard zoo," quickly had his trembling little puppy drinking warm milk, its short tail wagging like only a tiny puppy's can. Around six o'clock, a loud knock on Lady Standish's front door prompted Priscilla to answer, discovering Old Bill Simpkins with a tiny girl of about four who was crying heavily. As he entered Lady Standish's living room, Simpkins said:—
"This kid has lost a-a-a-crittur; I think it was a pup, wasn't it, kid?"
"This kid has lost a-a-a-creature; I think it was a puppy, right, kid?"
"So," said Simpkins, "I thought it might show up in your back-yard gang."
"So," said Simpkins, "I figured it might show up in your backyard crew."
"It has, Bill, you old grouch!!" for Lady Standish, as about all of Branton Hills' grown-ups, was in school with Bill. "It's all right, now, and warm and cuddly. Don't cry, Mary darling. Priscilla will bring in your puppy."
"It has, Bill, you old grouch!!" said Lady Standish, since almost all the adults in Branton Hills went to school with Bill. "It's fine now, nice and warm. Don't cry, Mary darling. Priscilla will bring in your puppy."
As that happy baby sat crooning to that puppy, also a baby, Old Bill had to snort out:—
As that happy baby sat singing to the puppy, which was also a baby, Old Bill had to snort out:—
"Huh! A lot of fuss about a pup, I'll say!"
"Huh! So much drama over a puppy, I must say!"
"Oh, pooh-pooh, Bill Simpkins!" said Lady S. "Why shouldn't a child croon to a puppy? Folks bring all kinds of animals to my back yard, if sick or hurt. Want to walk around my zoo?"
"Oh, come on, Bill Simpkins!" said Lady S. "Why shouldn't a child sing to a puppy? People bring all sorts of animals to my backyard if they're sick or hurt. Want to walk around my zoo?"
"No!! No zoos for Councilman Simpkins! Animals ain't worth so much fuss!"
"No!! No zoos for Councilman Simpkins! Animals aren't worth all this fuss!"
"Pshaw, Bill! You talk ridiculously! I wish you could know of about half of my works. I want to show you a big Angora cat. A dog bit its foot so I put a balm on it and wound it with cotton——"
"Pshaw, Bill! You're talking nonsense! I wish you knew about half of what I've been working on. I want to show you a big Angora cat. A dog bit its foot, so I put some ointment on it and wrapped it up with cotton—"
"You put balm on a cat's foot!! Bah!"
"You put balm on a cat's foot!! Bah!"
But Lady Standish didn't mind Old Bill's ravings having known him so long; so said:—
But Lady Standish didn't care about Old Bill's rants since she'd known him for so long; so she said:—
"No! You cannot! Mary, bring your pup; I'm going along."
"No! You can't! Mary, grab your dog; I'm coming too."
As a happy tot was passing out that big, kindly front door, Sarah said:—
As a cheerful little kid was going through that big, friendly front door, Sarah said:—
"Was Councilman Simpkins always so grouchy, Lady Standish?"
"Has Councilman Simpkins always been this grumpy, Lady Standish?"
"No. Not until John Gadsby 'cut him out' and won Lady Gadsby."
"No. Not until John Gadsby stepped in and won Lady Gadsby."
"Aha!! And a Ho, Ho!!" said Sarah, laughing gayly. "So folks had what you call 'affairs' way back, just as today!" and also laughing inwardly, at what Lucy had said about this kindly Lady Standish and His Honor.
"Aha!! And a Ho, Ho!!" said Sarah, laughing happily. "So people were having what you call 'affairs' way back, just like today!" She also chuckled to herself at what Lucy had mentioned about the nice Lady Standish and His Honor.
Ah! That good old schoolday, now so long past! How it bobs up, now-a-days, if you watch a young lad and a happy, giggling lass holding hands or laughing uproariously at youthful witticisms. And how diaphanous and almost imaginary that far-back day looks, if that girl with whom you stood up and said "I do," laughs, if you try a bit of romantic kissing, and says:—
Ah! Those good old school days, now so far gone! It pops up these days when you see a young guy and a happy, giggling girl holding hands or laughing loudly at silly jokes. And how distant and almost unreal that day feels when the girl you stood up with and said "I do" laughs, when you try a bit of romantic kissing, and says:—
"Why, John! How silly! You act actually childish!!"
"Why, John! How ridiculous! You're acting like a total child!!"
* * * *
* * * *
And now it won't do any harm to hark back a bit on this history, to find how our big Night School is doing. Following that first graduation day, many and many a child, and adult, too, had put in hours on various nights; and if you visit it you will find almost as many forms of instruction going on as you will find pupils; for thousands of folks today know of topics which, with a bit of study, could turn out profitably. Now Branton Hills had, as you know, built this school for public instruction; and, as with all such institutions, visiting days occur. And what a display of goods and workmanship! And what bright, happy pupils, standing proudly back of it! For mankind knows hardly a joy which will surpass that of approval of his work.
And now, it won’t hurt to look back a bit at this history to see how our big Night School is doing. After that first graduation day, many children and adults put in hours on various nights; and if you visit, you’ll find almost as many types of instruction happening as there are students. Thousands of people today know about topics that, with a little study, could turn out to be profitable. Now, Branton Hills, as you know, built this school for public education; and like all such institutions, there are visiting days. And what a showcase of skills and craftsmanship! And what bright, happy students standing proudly behind it! People hardly experience any joy that surpasses the pride of having their work approved.
Gadsby's party first took in a wood-working shop; finding small stands which fit so happily into many a living room nook; book racks for walls or floor; moth-proof bins, smoking stands, many with fancy uprights or inlaid tops; high chairs for tiny tots; arm chairs for old folks; cribs, tobacco humidors, stools, porch and lawn swings, ballbats, rolling pins, mixing boards; in fact about anything that a man can fashion from wood.
Gadsby's group first explored a woodworking shop, discovering small stands that perfectly fit into various living room corners; wall and floor book racks; moth-proof bins, smoking stands, many with stylish uprights or inlaid tops; high chairs for little ones; armchairs for seniors; cribs, tobacco humidors, stools, porch and lawn swings, baseball bats, rolling pins, mixing boards; basically anything a person can create from wood.
As an indication of practical utility coming from such public instruction, a man told Gadsby:—
As a sign of the practical benefits from such public education, a man told Gadsby:—
"I didn't know much about wood-working tools until I got into this class. This thing I am making would cost about thirty dollars to buy, but all it cost, so far, is two dollars and a half, for wood and glass," which Gadsby thought was worth knowing about; as so many of his Council had put forth so many complaints against starting such a school without charging for instruction. In an adjoining room His Honor's party found boys banging and pounding happily; and, if you should ask,—noisily,—on brasswork: making bowls, trays, lamp standards, photograph stands, book supports and similar artistic things. Across from that was a blacksmith shop, with its customary flying sparks and sizzling cooling-vats.
"I didn't know much about woodworking tools until I took this class. The item I’m making would cost about thirty dollars to buy, but up to now, it’s only cost me two dollars and fifty cents for wood and glass," which Gadsby thought was important to mention, especially since many of his Council had raised complaints about starting such a school without charging for classes. In an adjacent room, His Honor's group found boys happily banging and pounding away, making noise—working on brass projects: crafting bowls, trays, lamp stands, photo stands, book supports, and other artistic items. Across from that was a blacksmith shop, with its usual flying sparks and sizzling cooling baths.
But, by going upstairs, away from all this din, Gadsby, humming happily, found Sarah and Lucy, Nancy and Kathlyn amidst a roomful of girls doing dainty fancy-work. And what astonishing ability most of that group did show! Nancy bought a baby-cap which was on a par with anything in Branton Hills' shops; and though Kathlyn said it was "just too cunning for anything", John Smith's bungalow didn't contain anybody (just now!) whom it would fit.
But as Gadsby went upstairs, away from all the noise, he happily hummed and found Sarah and Lucy, Nancy and Kathlyn in a room full of girls doing intricate crafts. And what amazing talent most of that group showed! Nancy bought a baby cap that could compete with anything in the shops of Branton Hills; and even though Kathlyn said it was "just too cute for anything," John Smith's bungalow didn’t have anyone (right now!) that it would fit.
But Lady Gadsby, with a party of Branton Hills matrons, was calling for Gadsby to hurry down a long corridor to a loom-room, saying that such dainty rugs, mats and scarfs of cotton and silk hung all around on walls or racks, it was truly astonishing that girls could do such first-class work, having had long hours of labor in Broadway's shops all day.
But Lady Gadsby, along with a group of Branton Hills women, was urging Gadsby to rush down a long hallway to a weaving room, saying it was truly amazing to see such delicate rugs, mats, and scarves made of cotton and silk hanging all around on the walls or racks. It was impressive that the girls could create such high-quality work after spending long hours working in the shops on Broadway all day.
Although most of our standard occupations found room for activity, an occasional oddity was run across. So His Honor's party found two boys and two girls working at that always fascinating art of glass-blowing. And what a dainty trick it is! And what an opportunity to burn a thumb or two, if you don't wait for things to cool! Things of charming form and fragility, grow as by a magician's wand, from small glass tubings of various colors. Birds with glorious wings, ships of crystal sailing on dark billows, tiny buildings in a thick glass ball which upon agitation, stirs up a snowstorm which softly lands on pink roof-tops; many a fancy drinking glass and bowl, oil lamps, ash trays, and gaudy strings of tiny crystal balls for adorning party gowns. And did Nancy want to buy out this shop? And did Frank doubt his ability to do so? And did Kathlyn ask: "How about it, Johnny?" and did John Smith say: "Nothing doing"? It was just that. But it only shows that good old Branton Hills' inclination for aiding anything which looks worthy; and such a school I know you will admit, looks that way.
Although most of our usual jobs allowed for some action, we occasionally stumbled upon something unusual. So His Honor's party discovered two boys and two girls engaged in the always fascinating craft of glass-blowing. And what a delicate art it is! And what a chance to burn a finger or two if you don’t let things cool down! Beautiful and fragile creations grow like magic from small glass tubes of different colors. Birds with brilliant wings, crystal ships sailing on dark waves, tiny buildings in a thick glass ball that, when shaken, whip up a snowstorm gently landing on pink rooftops; so many decorative drinking glasses and bowls, oil lamps, ashtrays, and vibrant strings of tiny crystal balls to embellish party dresses. And did Nancy want to buy out this shop? And did Frank question his ability to do it? And did Kathlyn ask, "What do you think, Johnny?" and did John Smith reply, "Not happening"? That was exactly it. But it simply reflects good old Branton Hills’ tendency to support anything that seems worthwhile; and I know you will agree, such a school certainly looks promising.
Tramping upstairs, still again, Gadsby and party found a class so varying from all downstairs as to bring forth murmurs of joy, for this was known as "Music Floor"; upon which was taught all forms of that most charming of all arts—from solo work to community singing, from solitary violin pupil to a full brass band. On our party's arrival, Lucy, Doris and Virginia, hurrying from classrooms, sang, in trio, that soft, slow Italian song, "O Solo Mio;" and, as Gadsby proudly said, "Not for many a day had such music rung out in Branton Hills;" for most girls, if in training with a practical vocalist, can sing; and most charmingly, too.
Walking up the stairs again, Gadsby and the group discovered a place so different from downstairs that it sparked excitement, as this was known as the "Music Floor"; where all kinds of music were taught—from solo performances to group singing, from individual violin students to a full brass band. Upon our group's arrival, Lucy, Doris, and Virginia hurried from their classrooms, singing together the soft, slow Italian song "O Sole Mio," and, as Gadsby proudly stated, "It had been a long time since such music had echoed in Branton Hills;" because most girls, when working with a skilled vocalist, can sing; and they do it beautifully too.
In a far room was a big string outfit of banjos, mandolins and guitars, happily strumming out a smart, throbbing Spanish fandango, until His Honor could not avoid a swinging of body and tapping of foot; causing Lady Gadsby to laugh, saying:—
In a distant room, there was a large group of musicians with banjos, mandolins, and guitars, joyfully playing a lively, upbeat Spanish fandango. His Honor found himself swaying and tapping his foot, which made Lady Gadsby laugh, saying:—
"Rhythm has a mighty grip on Zulus, I am told."
"Rhythm has a strong hold on Zulus, I've heard."
To which our swaying Mayor said:—
To which our swaying Mayor replied:—
But all music is not of string form; so, in a big auditorium, our party found a full brass band of about fifty boys, with a man from Branton Hills' Municipal Band as instructor. Now as Gadsby was, as you boys say, "not at all bad" on a big bass horn in his youthful days, this band instructor, thinking of it, was asking him to "sit it" and play. So, as Lady Gadsby, two girls, and two sons-in-law sat smiling and giggling in a front row, and as fifty boys could hardly play, from laughing, that big horn got such a blasting that it was practically a horn solo! And Nancy, doubling up from giggling, said:—
But not all music is played on string instruments; in a big auditorium, our group found a full brass band of about fifty kids, with a guy from Branton Hills' Municipal Band as the instructor. Since Gadsby was pretty good on a big bass horn back in the day, the band instructor asked him to join in and play. So, with Lady Gadsby, two girls, and two sons-in-law smiling and laughing in the front row, and with fifty boys barely able to play because they were laughing so hard, that big horn ended up sounding like a solo! And Nancy, practically doubled over with laughter, said:—
But I had to rush this happy party out of that building, as an awful thing was occurring but a block from it; which told its own story by a lurid light, flashing through windows; clanging gongs, shrilling horns and running, shouting crowds; for an old, long-vacant factory building just across from City Hall, was blazing furiously. Rushing along Broadway was that "motor thing," with Clancy and Dowd clinging wildly on a running board. Pulling up at a hydrant, Clancy said to His Honor:—
But I had to hurry this cheerful group out of that building because something terrible was happening just a block away. There was a bright, alarming light flashing through the windows, accompanied by loud alarms, blaring horns, and panicked crowds. An old, long-abandoned factory building right across from City Hall was on fire. Racing down Broadway was that "motor thing," with Clancy and Dowd desperately holding on to a running board. When we stopped at a fire hydrant, Clancy said to His Honor:—
"As I was a-hangin' onto this dom thing, a-thinkin' it was going to bang into a big jam at two crossroads, I says, By Gorra! that big pair of blacks wouldn't bang into nuthin'! But this currazy contraption! It ain't got no brain—no nuthin', no soul—nuthin' but halitosis!!"
"As I was hanging onto this dumb thing, thinking it was going to crash into a big mess at two crossroads, I said, By God! that big pair of blacks wouldn't crash into anything! But this crazy contraption! It doesn’t have a brain—nothing, no soul—nothing but bad breath!!"
As Gadsby took a long look at Clancy's "dom thing," a vision was wafting through his mind of a calm, sunny patch of land, way out in Branton Hills' suburbs, on which day by day, two big blacks and two big roans could—anyway, taking all things into account, a big conflagration, with its din, rush and panic, is no spot for such animals as "Big Four." As for Old Bill's squawk about animals "ruining our paving," Gadsby thought that was but small talk, for paving, anyway, can't last for long. But, that is a glorious spot, way out amongst our hills!
As Gadsby stared at Clancy's "dom thing," he envisioned a peaceful, sunny patch of land far out in the Branton Hills suburbs, where day after day, two large black horses and two large roan horses could roam—after considering everything, a huge fire with its noise, chaos, and panic is no place for animals like the "Big Four." As for Old Bill's complaint about animals "ruining our paving," Gadsby thought it was just casual chatter, since paving, in any case, doesn’t last long. But that is a beautiful spot, way out among our hills!
Gadsby took his party to a room in City Hall from which that burning factory was in plain sight; and as Nancy and Kathlyn stood watching that awful sight a big wall, crashing down, had a crowd rushing to that spot.
Gadsby brought his group to a room in City Hall where they could clearly see the burning factory. As Nancy and Kathlyn watched that terrible scene, a large wall collapsed, causing a crowd to rush to the area.
A man's form was brought out to a patrol wagon; and a boy, rushing past City Hall, sang out to Gadsby:—
A man's body was carried out to a patrol wagon; and a boy, hurrying past City Hall, shouted to Gadsby:—
"It's Old Man Donaldson!!"
"Hey, it's Old Man Donaldson!!"
Tiny Nancy, almost swooning, said:—
Tiny Nancy, almost fainting, said:—
"Donaldson? Oh, Kathy! That's Lucy's Dad, of Company Two, you know!" and Frank and John Smith shot wildly downstairs to find out about it. In an instant a sobbing girlish form was dashing madly from that Night School building towards our Municipal Hospital. It was Lucy; bright, always laughing Lucy; but half an hour ago singing so happily in that girls' trio.
"Donaldson? Oh, Kathy! That's Lucy's dad from Company Two, you know!" Frank and John Smith rushed downstairs to figure it out. In no time, a sobbing girl was racing from the Night School building toward our Municipal Hospital. It was Lucy; bright, always laughing Lucy; but just half an hour ago, she had been singing so happily in that girls' trio.
As that big factory was still blazing furiously, Frank and John, coming in, said:—
As that big factory continued to burn fiercely, Frank and John walked in and said:—
"It was only a scalp wound, and a sprung wrist. Lucy is coming upstairs, now."
"It was just a scalp injury and a sprained wrist. Lucy is coming upstairs now."
Lucy, coming in, badly blown from running and fright, said:—
Lucy, coming in, out of breath from running and scared, said:—
"That wall caught Daddy; but it was so old and thin it didn't crush him. Oh! How I worry if that alarm rings!"
"That wall caught Dad; but it was so old and thin it didn't crush him. Oh! How I worry if that alarm goes off!"
"But," put in Nancy, "it's man's work. Pshaw!! What good am I? Why, I couldn't do a thing around that factory, right now! Look at my arm! About as big as a ball bat!" and as Frank took that sad, tiny form in his arms, Gadsby said:—
"But," Nancy interjected, "it's man's work. Pshaw!! What good am I? Look at my arm! It's about as big as a baseball bat!" And as Frank held that frail, little figure in his arms, Gadsby said:—
"All throughout Natural History, Nancy, you will find man built big and strong, and woman small and frail. That is so that man can obtain food for his family, and that woman may nourish his offspring. But today, I am sorry to say, you'll find girls working hard, in gymnasiums, fondly hoping to attain man's muscular parity. How silly!! It's going straight against all natural laws. Girls can find a lot of bodily good in gymnasiums, I'll admit! but not that much. And as for your 'ball-bat' arm, as you call it, what of it? You'd look grand, now wouldn't you, with Frank's big oak-branch arms hanging way down to your shins. But that ball-bat arm can curl around your tiny baby as softly as a down pillow. Aw, darling! Don't say you can't do anything; for I know you can. How about our old Organization of Youth days? You,——"
"Throughout Natural History, Nancy, you'll see men depicted as big and strong, while women are shown as small and delicate. This is so men can provide food for their families, and women can nurture their children. But today, I regret to say, you’ll find girls working hard in gyms, hoping to achieve the same muscularity as men. How ridiculous!! It goes completely against all natural laws. Girls can gain a lot of physical benefits from gyms, I'll agree! but not that much. And about your 'ball-bat' arm, as you call it, what’s the point? You'd look amazing, wouldn't you, with Frank's huge, muscular arms reaching down to your shins? But that ball-bat arm can wrap around your tiny baby as softly as a down pillow. Aw, darling! Don't say you can't do anything; because I know you can. Remember our old days with the Organization of Youth? You,——"
And Nancy, now laughing, said, gaily:—
And Nancy, now laughing, said cheerfully:—
"Oho! Our old Organization! What fun it was! But, Daddy, I don't know of any young crowd following us up."
"Oho! Our old Organization! It was so much fun! But, Dad, I don’t see any young crowd following us now."
"No. Our young folks of today think such things too much work;" and, as that old factory was but a mass of ruins now, and midnight was approaching, Gadsby's family was soon in that mythical Land of Nod, in which no horns blow, no sparks fall; only occasionally a soft gurgling from a crib in Nancy's bungalow.
"No. The young people today think such things are too much work;" and, as that old factory was just a pile of ruins now, and midnight was nearing, Gadsby's family was quickly in that imaginary Land of Nod, where no horns sound, no sparks fly; only occasionally a soft gurgling from a crib in Nancy's bungalow.
XIX
It is an odd kink of humanity which cannot find any valuation in spots of natural glory. But such kinks do run riot in Man's mind, occasionally, and Branton Hills ran up against such, on a Council night; for a bill was brought up by Old Bill Simpkins for disposal of City Park to a land company, for building lots! At first word of such a thought, Gadsby was totally dumb, from an actual impossibility of thinking that any man, bringing up such a bill, wasn't plumb crazy!
It's weird quirk of humanity that can't appreciate moments of natural beauty. But such quirks do arise in people's minds every now and then, and Branton Hills encountered one on a Council night; an idea was proposed by Old Bill Simpkins to sell City Park to a real estate company for building lots! At the very mention of such a proposal, Gadsby was completely speechless, unable to fathom how anyone could suggest such a thing without being utterly insane!
"What! Our main Park; including our Zoo?"
"What! Our main park, including our zoo?"
"Just that," said Simpkins. "Just a big patch of land, and a foolish batch of animals that do nobody any good. You can't hitch a lion up to a city dump cart, you know; nor a hippopotamus to a patrol wagon. What good is that bunch of hair and horns, anyway? And that park! Bah!! Just grass, grass, grass! Branton Hills pays for planting that grass, pays for sprinkling it, pays for cutting it—and throws it away! So I say, put it into building lots, and draw good, solid cash from it."
"Exactly," Simpkins said. "Just a huge piece of land and a bunch of useless animals that aren’t good for anything. You can’t hook a lion up to a city dump cart, you know; or a hippopotamus to a patrol wagon. What’s the point of that bunch of fur and horns, anyway? And that park! Ugh!! Just grass, grass, grass! Branton Hills pays to plant that grass, pays to water it, pays to cut it—and wastes it! So I say, turn it into building lots and make some good, solid cash from it."
"I gotta four bambinos. My bambinos playa in thatta park: run, jumpa and rolla. Grow bigga an' strong. My woman say no coulda do thatta if playa all day on bricka walks. I say no buncha land sharks buya thatta Park!! How many you guys go to it, anyway? Huh? Notta many! But go!! Walk around; sniffa its blossoms; look at grand busha; sit on softa grass! You do thatta, an' I know you not stick no building on it!!"
"I have four kids. My kids play in that park: running, jumping, and rolling. They’ll grow up big and strong. My wife says they can’t do that if they just play all day on the sidewalks. I say there are a bunch of land sharks trying to buy that park!! How many of you actually go there, anyway? Huh? Not many! But go!! Walk around; smell the flowers; look at the big trees; sit on the soft grass! If you do that, then I know you won't put any buildings there!!"
So, at Mayor Gadsby's instigation, Council did not ballot on Simpkins' bill; and said it would go, as Tony thought only right, and "look atta gooda busha."
So, at Mayor Gadsby's urging, the Council didn't vote on Simpkins' bill; and they said it would go, as Tony thought was only fair, and "look at the good bushe."
In a day or two this pompous body of solons was strolling about that big park. No man with half a mind could fail to thrill at its vistas of shrubs, ponds, lawns, arbors, fancy fowl, small pavilions and curving shady pathways. As Gadsby was "takinga his owna looka," Old Bill Simpkins, coming a-snorting and a-fussing along, sang out, gruffly:—
In a day or two, this grand group of lawmakers was walking around that big park. Anyone with half a brain couldn't help but feel excited by its views of bushes, ponds, lawns, gazebos, fancy birds, small pavilions, and winding shaded paths. As Gadsby was "taking his own look," Old Bill Simpkins, huffing and bustling along, called out gruffly:—
"All right; this is it! This is that grand patch of grass that pays Branton Hills no tax!"
"Alright; this is it! This is that big patch of grass that Branton Hills doesn't tax!"
But Gadsby was thinking—and thinking hard, too. Finally saying:—
But Gadsby was deep in thought—really concentrating. Finally he said:—
"Bill, supposing that any day you should walk along that big Pathway known in Sunday School as 'Our Straight But Narrow Way.' You would find coming towards you, all sorts of folks: a king, roaring past in his big chariot, a capitalist with his hands full of bonds, an old, old lady, on a crutch. Such passings would bring to you various thoughts. But, supposing it was a possibility that you saw Bill Simpkins coming your way. Aha! What an opportunity to watch that grouchy old—"
"Bill, imagine if one day you were walking down that big Pathway called 'Our Straight But Narrow Way' in Sunday School. You would see all kinds of people coming toward you: a king speeding by in his fancy chariot, a businessman juggling a bunch of bonds, and an elderly woman using a crutch. Encounters like these would spark all sorts of thoughts. But, what if you saw Bill Simpkins heading your way? Aha! What a chance to observe that grumpy old—"
"That what?"
"What's that?"
"I'll say it again: that grouchy old crab. How you would gawk at him, that most important of all folks, to you. How you would look at his clothing, his hat, his boots! That individual would pass an inquiry such as you had not thought it a possibility to put a man up against. Bill, I think that if you should pass Councilman Simpkins on that Big Pathway, you would say: 'What a grouchy old crittur that was!'"
"I'll say it again: that grumpy old crab. How you would stare at him, that most important person of all to you. How you would look at his clothes, his hat, his boots! That guy would handle a question you never thought someone could face. Bill, I think that if you should see Councilman Simpkins on that Big Pathway, you'd say: 'What a grumpy old character that was!'"
Old Bill stood calmly during this oration, and, looking around that big park, said:—
Old Bill stood quietly during this speech, and, looking around that large park, said:—
"John, you know how to talk, all right, all right. I'll admit that things you say do do a lot of good around this town. But if I should run across this guy you talk about, on that vaporous highway, or 'boardwalk', as I should call it,—I'd say, right out good and loud: Hi! You!! Hurry back to Branton Hills and put up a block of buildings in that silly park!" and Gadsby, walking away, saw that an inborn grouch is as hard to dig out as a wisdom tooth.
"John, you definitely know how to express yourself. I’ll admit that the things you say really make a positive impact around here. But if I happen to encounter that guy you talk about on that foggy highway, or 'boardwalk,' as I would call it, I’d shout out loud and clear: Hey! You!! Get back to Branton Hills and put up a block of buildings in that ridiculous park!" And as Gadsby walked away, he realized that an ingrained grumpiness is just as hard to remove as a wisdom tooth.
Now this Council's visit on this particular day, was a sly plan of Gadsby's, for His Honor is, you know, Youth's Champion, and having known many an occasion on which Youth has won out against Council opposition. So, our big City officials, strolling around that park, soon saw a smooth lawn upon which sat, stood, or ran, almost a thousand small tots of from four to six. In dainty, flimsy outfits, many carrying fairy wands, it was a sight so charming as to thaw out a brass idol! Amidst this happy party stood a tall shaft, or mast, having hanging from its top a thick bunch of long ribbons, of pink, lilac, gray, and similar dainty colors; and around it stood thirty tots—thirty tiny fists all agog to grasp thirty gay ribbons. Old Bill took a look, and said, growlingly, to His Honor:—
Now, the Council's visit on this particular day was a sneaky plan by Gadsby because His Honor is, you know, the Champion of Youth, and he knew many times when Youth has triumphed over Council opposition. So, our big City officials, walking around that park, soon spotted a smooth lawn filled with nearly a thousand little kids aged four to six. Dressed in cute, delicate outfits, many carrying fairy wands, it was such an adorable sight that it could melt even a brass idol! In the midst of this joyful group stood a tall pole with a bunch of long ribbons hanging from the top in pink, lilac, gray, and other soft colors; and around it stood thirty little kids—thirty tiny hands eager to grab thirty colorful ribbons. Old Bill took a look and grumbled to His Honor:—
"What's all this stuff, anyway?"
"What's all this stuff?"
"Bill, and Branton Hills' Council," said Gadsby, "today is May Day—that day so symbolic of budding blossoms, mating birds and sunny sky. You all know, or ought to, of that charming custom of childhood of toddling round and round a tall mast in and out, in and out,—thus winding gay ribbons about it in a spiral. That is but a small part of what this Park can do for Branton Hills. But it is an important part; for happy childhood grows up into happy adults, and happy adults"—looking right at Councilman Simpkins—"can form a happy City Council."
"Bill, and Branton Hills' Council," said Gadsby, "today is May Day—that day that's all about blooming flowers, mating birds, and sunny skies. You all know, or should know, about that delightful childhood tradition of walking around a tall pole, going in and out, in and out,—tying colorful ribbons around it in a spiral. That's just a small part of what this Park can do for Branton Hills. But it’s an important part; because happy childhood leads to happy adults, and happy adults"—looking directly at Councilman Simpkins—"can create a happy City Council."
Now a kid is always a kid; and a kid knows just how any sport should go. So, just by luck, a tot who was to hold a gay ribbon didn't show up; and that big ring stood waiting, for that round-and-round march just couldn't start with a ribbon hanging down! But a kid's mind is mighty quick and sharp; and a small tot of four had that kind of mind, saying:—
Now a kid is always a kid, and a kid knows exactly how any sport should go. So, by chance, a little one who was supposed to hold a colorful ribbon didn’t show up, and that big ring was just sitting there, because that circular march just couldn’t start with a ribbon hanging down! But a kid’s mind is really quick and sharp, and a small four-year-old had that kind of mind, saying:—
"Oh! That last ribbon! Isn't anybody going to hold it?"
"Oh! That last ribbon! Is anyone going to hold it?"
Now historians shouldn't laugh. Historians should only put down what occurs. But I, your historian of Branton Hills, not only had to laugh, but to roar; for this tot, worrying about that hanging ribbon, saw our big pompous Council group looking on. Now a Council is nothing to a tot of four; just a man or two, standing around. So, trotting up and grasping Old Bill's hand, this tot said:
Now, historians shouldn't laugh. They should just record what happens. But I, your historian of Branton Hills, not only had to laugh, but I had to roar; because this little kid, worrying about that hanging ribbon, saw our big, pompous Council group watching. To a four-year-old, a Council is just a couple of guys standing around. So, trotting up and grabbing Old Bill's hand, this little kid said:
"You'll hold it, won't you?"
"Will you hold it?"
"What!!" and Simpkins was all colors on throat and brow as Branton Hills' Council stood, grinning. But that baby chin was straining up, and a pair of baby arms was pulling, oh, so hard; and, in a sort of coma, big, pompous, grouchy Councilman Simpkins took that hanging ribbon! A band struck up a quick march, and round and round trod that happy, singing ring, with Old Bill looming up as big as a mountain amongst its foothills! Laugh? I thought His Honor would burst!
"" and Simpkins was flushed with color on his neck and face as the Branton Hills' Council stood there, grinning. But that baby face was straining upward, and a pair of tiny arms were pulling, oh, so hard; meanwhile, in a sort of daze, the big, pompous, grumpy Councilman Simpkins accepted that dangling ribbon! A band started playing a lively march, and that cheerful, singing circle marched round and round, with Old Bill looking as big as a mountain among its foothills! Laugh? I thought His Honor would burst!
As that ribbon spiral got wound, Simpkins, coming back, said, with a growl:—
As that ribbon spiral got twisted up, Simpkins, returning, said with a grumble:—
"I was afraid I would tramp on a kid or two in that silly stunt."
"I was worried I might step on a kid or two in that ridiculous stunt."
"It wasn't silly, Bill," said Gadsby. "It was grand!" And Tony Bandamita sang out:—
"It wasn't silly, Bill," said Gadsby. "It was grand!" And Tony Bandamita shouted out:—
"Gooda work, Councilmanna! My four bambinos walka right in fronta you, and twista ribbons!"
"Good work, Councilman! My four kids walked right in front of you, and twisted ribbons!"
Simpkins, though, would only snort, and pass on.
Simpkins would just snort and move on.
XX
On a warm Sunday, Kathlyn and Julius, poking around in Branton Hills' suburbs, occasionally found an odd formation of fossilization, installing it amidst our Hall of Natural History's displays. Shortly following such an installation, a famous savant on volcanic activity noting a most propitious rock formation amongst Julius' groups, thought of cutting into it; for ordinary, most prosaic rocks may contain surprising information; and, upon arriving at Branton Hills' railway station, ran across old Pat Ryan, czar of its trunk room.
On a warm day Sunday, Kathlyn and Julius, exploring the suburbs of Branton Hills, occasionally came across a unique fossil formation, which they arranged as part of the displays in our Hall of Natural History. Soon after setting up that display, a well-known expert on volcanic activity noticed a particularly interesting rock formation among Julius' collection and considered examining it; for ordinary, everyday rocks may hold surprising information. Upon arriving at the Branton Hills train station, he bumped into old Pat Ryan, the manager of the trunk room.
"Ah, my man! I want to find a lapidary."
"Hey, man! I want to find a gem cutter."
"A what?"
"Huh?"
"It isn't a 'what,' it's a lapidary."
"It’s not a 'what,' it’s a lapidary."
"Lapidary, is it? Lapidary, lapidary, lapi—lapi—la—. No, I——"
"Lapidary, is it? Lapidary, lapidary, lapi—lapi—la—. No, I——"
Now this savant was in a hurry, and said, snappily:—
Now this expert was in a hurry and said sharply:—
"But a city as big as Branton Hills has a lapidary, I trust!"
"But a city as big as Branton Hills has a jeweler, I hope!"
"Oh, Branton Hills has a lot of things. But, wait a bit! It ain't a lavatory what you want, is it?"
"Oh, Branton Hills has a lot of things. But, hold on! You don't want a bathroom, do you?"
"All right, Pat. I know about this;" and, both taking a taxi, old Pat walking round and round, scratching his bald crown, was murmuring:
"Okay, Pat. I know about this;" and, both catching a taxi, old Pat walked in circles, scratching his bald head, murmuring:
"Lapid——Aho! I got it! It's probably a crittur up at that zoo! I ain't forgot that hop, skip and jump, walloping Australian tornado! And now His Honor has put in a lapidary!! I think I'll go up with that old canvas bag! But why all sich high-brow stuff in naming critturs? This lapidary thing might turn out only a rat, or a goofy bug!"
"Lapid—Aha! I got it! It’s probably some creature up at that zoo! I haven't forgotten that wild Australian tornado! And now His Honor has mentioned a lapidary!! I think I’ll head up there with that old canvas bag! But why all this fancy stuff in naming creatures? This lapidary thing might just turn out to be a rat or a silly bug!"
But that fairy bug, Dan Cupid, goofy or not, as you wish, was buzzing around again; and, though this story is not of wild, romantic infatuations, in which rival villains fight for a fair lady's hand, I am bound to say that Cupid has put on an act varying much from his works in Gadsby's mansion; for this arrow from his bow caught two young folks to whom a dollar bill was as long, broad and high as City Hall. Both had to work for a living; but by saving a bit, off and on, Sarah Young, who, you know, with Priscilla Standish first thought of our Night School, and Paul Johnson, who did odd jobs around town, such as caring for lawns, painting and "man-of-all-work," had put by a small bank account. Paul was an orphan, as was Sarah, who had grown up with a kindly old man, Tom Young; his "old woman," dying at about Sarah's fourth birthday. (That word "old woman," is common amongst Irish folks, and is not at all ungracious. It had to crawl into this story, through orthographical taboos, you know.) But Sarah, now a grown young lady, had that natural longing for a spot in which a woman might find that joy of living, in having "things to do for just us two" if bound by Cupid's gift—matrimony.
But that fairy bug, Dan Cupid, silly or not, as you like, was buzzing around again; and, although this story isn’t about wild, romantic crushes where rival guys fight for a lady’s attention, I have to say that Cupid has put on a show very different from his acts in Gadsby's mansion; because this arrow from his bow got two young people for whom a dollar bill felt as big and heavy as City Hall. They both had to work for a living, but by saving a little here and there, Sarah Young—who, you know, along with Priscilla Standish, first thought of our Night School—and Paul Johnson, who did odd jobs around town like taking care of lawns, painting, and being a "jack-of-all-trades," managed to save a small amount of money. Paul was an orphan, just like Sarah, who had grown up with a kind old man, Tom Young; his "old woman" passed away around Sarah's fourth birthday. (The term "old woman" is common among Irish folks and isn’t at all disrespectful. It had to sneak into this story despite spelling conventions, you know.) But Sarah, now a young lady, had that natural desire for a place where a woman could find the joy of living by having "things to do for just us two" if tied together by Cupid’s gift—marriage.
Many a day in passing that big church of Nancy's grand display, or Gadsby's rich mansion, Sarah had thought fondly about such things; for, as with any girl, marrying amidst blossoms, glamour and organ music was a goal, to attain which was actual bliss. But such rituals call for cash; and lots of it, too. Also, Old Tom Young had no room in any way fit for such an occasion.
Many days passed by as Sarah admired the grand church in Nancy and Gadsby's lavish mansion; she often dreamed about those kinds of things. Like any girl, she wanted to get married surrounded by flowers, elegance, and organ music—it was a dream that felt like pure happiness. But these kinds of celebrations require money, and a lot of it. Plus, Old Tom Young didn’t have any suitable space for such an event.
So Sarah would walk past, possibly a bit sad, but looking forward to a coming happy day. And it wasn't so far off. My, no! As Nancy had thought April was "a million months long," Sarah's days swung past in a dizzy whirl; during which, in company with Paul on Saturday nights, a small thing or two was happily bought for that "Cupid's Coop," as both found a lot of fun in calling it. But Sarah naturally had girl chums, just as Nancy and Kathlyn had; for most of that old Organization was still in town; and many a gift found its way to this girl who, though poor in worldly goods, was as rich as old King Midas in a bright, happy disposition; for anybody who didn't know that magic captivation of Sarah Young's laugh, that rich crown of light, fluffy hair, or that grand, proud, upright walk, wasn't amongst Branton Hills' population. Paul, scratching around shady paths, a potato patch or two, front yards, back yards, and city parks, was known to many an old family man; who upon knowing of his coming variation in living conditions, thought way, way back to his own romantic youth; so Paul, going to Sarah at night, brought small but practical gifts for that "coop."
So Sarah would walk by, maybe a little sad, but looking forward to a happy day ahead. And it wasn't far away. Oh no! Just as Nancy thought April was "a million months long," Sarah's days flew by in a dizzying rush; while hanging out with Paul on Saturday nights, she happily picked up a thing or two for that "Cupid's Coop," as they both enjoyed calling it. But of course, Sarah had her girl friends, just like Nancy and Kathlyn did; most of the old crew was still around town; and many a gift found its way to this girl who, even though she didn’t have much in terms of material things, was as rich as King Midas in her bright, cheerful spirit; because anyone who didn’t know the magic allure of Sarah Young’s laugh, her gorgeous crown of light, fluffy hair, or her elegant, proud walk was not part of Branton Hills' community. Paul, wandering through shady paths, a couple of potato patches, front yards, backyards, and city parks, was recognized by many of the older guys; and when they heard about his upcoming changes in living situation, they reminisced about their own youthful romances; so Paul, visiting Sarah at night, brought small but useful gifts for that "coop."
As Sarah and Paul stood in front of City Hall on a hot July night, Sarah scanning Branton Hills' "Post" for "vacant rooms," who should walk up but His Honor! And that kindly hand shot out with:—
As Sarah and Paul stood in front of City Hall on a hot July night, Sarah browsing through Branton Hills' "Post" for "vacant rooms," who should walk up but the Mayor! And that friendly hand reached out with:—
"Aha! If it isn't Paul and Sarah! What's Sarah hunting for, Paul?"
"Aha! Look who it is, Paul and Sarah! What’s Sarah looking for, Paul?"
"Sarah is looking for a room for us, sir."
"Sarah is finding a room for us, sir."
"Us? Did you say 'us'? Oho! H-mmm! I'm on! How soon will you want it?"
"Us? Did you say 'us'? Oh! H-mmm! I'm in! When do you need it?"
"Oh," said Sarah, blushing, "not for about a month."
"Oh," said Sarah, blushing, "not for about a month."
Sarah, still ogling that "rooms" column said, softly:—
Sarah, still staring at that "rooms" column, said softly:—
"Four to six rooms? That's just grand if you can afford such. But,——"
"Four to six rooms? That's great if you can afford that. But,——"
"Wait!" said Gadsby, who, taking Paul's and Sarah's arms, and strolling along, told of a small six-room bungalow of his, just around from Nancy's.
"Wait!" said Gadsby, who, taking Paul's and Sarah's arms and walking along, talked about his small six-room bungalow, which was just around the corner from Nancy's.
"And you two will pay just nothing a month for it. It's yours, from front porch to roof top, as a gift to two of my most loyal pals."
"And you two won’t pay a thing each month for it. It's all yours, from the front porch to the rooftop, as a gift to two of my most loyal friends."
And instantly a copy of Branton Hills' "Post" was blowing across Broadway in a fluky July wind!
And right away, a copy of Branton Hills' "Post" was blowing across Broadway in a gusty July wind!
Now, as this young pair was to start out frugally, it wouldn't do to lay out too much for, as Sarah said, "about forty words by a pastor, and a kiss."
Now, since this young couple was going to start out on a budget, it wouldn't be wise to spend too much for, as Sarah put it, "about forty words from a pastor, and a kiss."
So only Priscilla stood up with Sarah; and Bill Gadsby, in all his sartorial glory, with Paul, in Parson Brown's small study; both girls in dainty morning clothing; Sarah carrying a bunch of gay nasturtiums, claiming that such warm, bright colorings would add as much charm to that short occasion as a thousand dollars' worth of orchids. Now, such girls as Sarah, with that capacity for finding satisfaction so simply, don't grow as abundantly as hollyhocks—and Paul found that Gadsby's old Organization was a group knowing what a dollar is: just a dollar.
So only Priscilla stood up with Sarah; and Bill Gadsby, dressed to impress, was with Paul in Parson Brown's small study; both girls in cute morning outfits; Sarah holding a bunch of bright nasturtiums, insisting that such warm, vibrant colors would add just as much charm to that brief occasion as a thousand dollars worth of orchids. Now, girls like Sarah, who have a talent for finding happiness in simple things, aren't as common as hollyhocks—and Paul realized that Gadsby's old Organization was a group that understood what a dollar really is: just a dollar.
XXI
Occasionally a sight bobs up without warning in a city, which starts a train of thought, sad or gay, according to how you look at it. And so, Lucy, Priscilla, and Virginia Adams, walking along Broadway, saw a crowd around a lamp post, upon which was a patrol-box; and, though our girls don't customarily follow up such sights, Lucy saw a man's form sprawling flat up against that post, as limp as a rag. Priscilla said, in disgust:—
Sometimes something unexpected catches your eye in a city, sparking a mix of thoughts, whether happy or sad, depending on your perspective. And so, Lucy, Priscilla, and Virginia Adams, walking down Broadway, noticed a crowd gathered around a lamp post with a patrol box attached to it; and, even though our girls usually don’t pay attention to such things, Lucy spotted a man's body slumped against that post, completely lifeless. Priscilla remarked, in disgust:—
"Ugh!! It's Norman Antor! Drunk again!!" and Virginia, hastily grasping both girls' arms and hurrying past, said:—
"Ugh!! It's Norman Antor! He's drunk again!!" Virginia exclaimed, quickly grabbing both girls' arms and rushing past.
"So!! His vacation in jail didn't do him any good! But, still, it's too bad. Norman is a good looking, manly lad, with a good mind and a thorough schooling. And now look at him! A common drunk!!"
"So!! His time in jail didn't help him at all! But, still, it's a shame. Norman is a good-looking, manly guy, with a sharp mind and a solid education. And now look at him! A common drunk!!"
Priscilla was sad, too, saying:—
Priscilla was sad, too, saying:—
"Awful! Awful for so young a chap. What is his Dad doing now?"
"Awful! Awful for such a young guy. What’s his dad up to now?"
"Still in jail," was all Virginia could say; adding sadly: "I do pity poor young Mary, who sold Antor's liquor, you know. Doris says that lots of school-girls snub that kid. Now that's not right. It's downright horrid! Mary was brought up in what you almost might call a pool of liquor, and I don't call it fair to snub a child for that; for you know that, not only 'Past' Councilman Antor, but also Madam Antor, got what our boys call 'lit-up' on many public occasions. Antor's pantry was full of it! Which way could that poor kid look without finding it? You know Mary is not so old as most of us; and I'm just going to go to that child and try to bring a ray of comfort into that young mind. That rum-guzzling Antor family!! Ugh!!"
"Still in jail," was all Virginia could say, adding sadly, "I really feel for poor young Mary, who sold Antor's liquor, you know. Doris says that a lot of school girls give that kid the cold shoulder. That's just not right. It's downright horrible! Mary grew up in what you could almost call a pool of alcohol, and I don’t think it's fair to snub a child for that; after all, you know that not only 'Past' Councilman Antor, but also Madam Antor, got pretty 'lit' on many public occasions. Antor's pantry was full of it! How could that poor kid escape it? You know Mary isn't as old as most of us, and I'm just going to go talk to that child and try to bring a little comfort into her young mind. That rum-guzzling Antor family!! Ugh!!"
* * * *
* * * *
But a city also has amusing sights; and our trio ran plump into that kind, just around a turn; for, standing on a soap box, shouting a high-sounding jargon of rapidly shot words, was Arthur Rankin, an original Organization lad; a crowd of boys, a man or two, and a woman hanging laughingly around. Our trio's first inkling as to what it was all about was Arthur's hail to Priscilla:—
But a city also has its fun sights; and our trio stumbled right into one just around the corner; there stood Arthur Rankin, an original Organization guy, shouting a bunch of loud words from a soapbox. A crowd of boys, a couple of men, and a woman were gathered around, laughing. Our trio's first clue about what was going on was Arthur calling out to Priscilla:—
"Aha! Branton Hills' fair womanhood is now approaching!!"
"Aha! The beautiful women of Branton Hills are coming now!!"
Now if our trio didn't know Arthur so thoroughly, such girls might balk at this publicity. But Priscilla and Arthur had had many a "slapping match" long ago, arising from childhood's spats; Priscilla originally living on an adjoining lot, and was Arthur's "first girl;" which according to his old Aunt Anna, "was just silly puppy stuff!" So nobody thought anything of this public hail and Arthur was raving on about "which puts an instant stop to all pain; will rid you of anything from dandruff to ingrowing nails; will build up a strong body from a puny runt; will grow hair on a billiard-ball scalp, and taboo it on a lady's chin; will put a glamorous gloss on tooth or nail; stop stomach growls; oil up kinky joints, and bring you to happy, smiling days of Utopian bliss! How many, Priscilla? Only a dollar a box; two for dollar-sixty!"
Now, if our trio didn’t know Arthur so well, some girls might hesitate at this publicity. But Priscilla and Arthur had had plenty of “slapping matches” back in the day, stemming from childhood squabbles; Priscilla lived on a neighboring lot and was Arthur’s “first girlfriend,” which, according to his old Aunt Anna, “was just silly puppy stuff!” So nobody thought anything of this public attention, and Arthur was going on about “which puts an instant stop to all pain; will rid you of anything from dandruff to ingrown nails; will build up a strong body from a weak runt; will grow hair on a bald head, and taboo it on a lady’s chin; will give a glamorous shine to tooth or nail; stop stomach growls; loosen up stiff joints, and bring you to happy, smiling days of Utopian bliss! How many, Priscilla? Only a dollar a box; two for a dollar sixty!”
Priscilla, laughing, said:—
Priscilla laughed and said:—
"Not any today, thank you, Art! All I want is a pair of juicy lamb chops—a dish of onions—a dish of squash—a dish of carrots—a pint of milk—potato-chips—hot biscuits—cold slaw—custard pudding—nuts—raisins——"
"Not today, thanks, Art! All I want is a couple of juicy lamb chops—a serving of onions—a serving of squash—a serving of carrots—a pint of milk—potato chips—hot biscuits—cold slaw—custard pudding—nuts—raisins——"
"Whoa, Priscilla! Hop right up on this box! I know that word-slinging ability of old" and as that crowd was fading away, Priscilla said:—
"Whoa, Priscilla! Jump right up on this box! I know your talent for wordplay from back in the day," and as the crowd started to disperse, Priscilla said:—
"This is odd work for you, Arthur; you so good a draughtsman. What's up?"
"This is strange work for you, Arthur; you being such a talented draftsman. What's going on?"
And Arthur, a happy, rollicking boy, having always had all such things as most boys had, with a Dad making good pay as a railroad conductor, told sadly of an awful railway smash-up which took "Dad" away from four small Rankin orphans, whom Arthur was now supporting; and a scarcity of jobs in Branton Hills and of trips to surrounding towns, always finding that old sign out: "No Work Today." Of this soap box opportunity bobbing up, which was now bringing in good cash. So our girls found that our Branton Hills boys didn't shirk work of any kind, if brought right up against want.
And Arthur, a cheerful, lively boy, who had everything most boys had, with a dad making good money as a railroad conductor, sadly talked about a terrible train crash that took "Dad" away from four small Rankin orphans, whom Arthur was now taking care of; and the lack of jobs in Branton Hills and in nearby towns, always finding that old sign out: "No Work Today." About this soapbox opportunity popping up, which was now bringing in good cash. So our girls realized that the boys in Branton Hills didn't shy away from any kind of work, especially when faced with need.
XXII
But what about Branton Hills' municipal affairs, right now? In two months it was to ballot on who should sit in past-Councilman Antor's chair; and a campaign was on which was actually sizzling. And in what a contrast to our city's start! For it has grown rapidly; and, in comparison to that day upon which a thousand ballots was a big out-pouring of popular clamor now many politicians had City Hall aspirations. And who do you think was running for Council, now? William Gadsby! Popularly known as Bill! Bill, Branton Hills' famous dandy; Bill, that consummation of all Branton Hills girls' most romantic wish; Bill, that "outdoor part" of Branton Hills' most aristocratic tailor shop! Naturally, opposing groups fought for that vacancy; part of our population clamoring loudly for Bill, but with many just as strongly against him. So it was:—
But what about it? Branton Hills' local affairs right now? In two months, there would be a vote on who would take over for former Councilman Antor; and there was a campaign heating up. What a contrast to the early days of our city! It has grown quickly; and compared to that time when a thousand votes were a huge expression of public interest, now many politicians had their sights set on City Hall. And who do you think was running for Council now? William Gadsby! Known to everyone as Bill! Bill, the famous dandy of Branton Hills; Bill, the fulfillment of every Branton Hills girl's romantic dream; Bill, the "outdoor part" of Branton Hills' most elite tailor shop! Naturally, different groups were vying for that spot; part of our community was loudly supporting Bill, while many others were just as passionately opposed to him. So it was:—
"Put Bill Gadsby in!! Bill has all our Mayor's good points! Bill will work for all that is upright and good!"
"Put Bill Gadsby in! Bill has all the best qualities of our Mayor! Bill will fight for what's right and good!"
And also:—
And also:—
"What! Bill Gadsby? Is this town plumb crazy? Say! If you put that fop in City Hall you'll find all its railings flapping with pink satin ribbons; a janitor at its main door, squirting vanilla on all who go in; and its front lawn will turn into a pansy farm! Put a man in City Hall, not a sissy who thinks out 'upsy-downsy, insy-outsy' camping suits for girls!"
"What! Bill Gadsby? Is this town completely insane? Listen! If you put that dandy in City Hall you’ll see all the railings covered in pink satin ribbons; a janitor at the main entrance spraying vanilla on everyone who walks in; and the front lawn will become a flower bed of pansies! We need a man in City Hall, not a wimp who designs 'upsy-downsy, insy-outsy' camping outfits for girls!"
But though this didn't annoy Bill, it did stir up Nancy, with:—
But even though this didn't bother Bill, it did upset Nancy, with:—
"Oh! That's just an abomination! Such talk about so grand a young chap! But I just saw a billboard with a sign saying: 'Bill Gadsby for Council;' so, probably I shouldn't worry, for Bill is as good as in."
"Oh! That's just horrible! Such talk about such a great young guy! But I just saw a billboard that said: 'Bill Gadsby for Council;' so, I guess I shouldn't worry, because Bill is practically a sure thing."
"Baby," said Gadsby, kindly, "that's only a billboard, and billboards don't put a man in City Hall. It's ballots, darling; thousands of ballots, that fill Council chairs."
"Baby," Gadsby said kindly, "that's just a billboard, and billboards don't get a guy into City Hall. It's ballots, darling; thousands of ballots that fill Council seats."
"But, Daddy, I'm going to root for Bill. I'll stand up on a stump, or in a tip-cart, or——"
"But, Dad, I'm going to support Bill. I'll stand on a stump, or in a cart, or——"
"Whoa! Wait a bit!" and Gadsby sat down by his "baby girl," saying: "You can't go on a stumping campaign without knowing a lot about municipal affairs; which you don't. Any antagonist who knows about such things would out-talk you without half trying. No, darling, this political stuff is too big for you. You just look out for things in that small bungalow of yours, and allow Branton Hills to fight to put Bill in. You know my old slogan:—'Man at a city's front; woman at a cabin door.'"
"Whoa! Hold on a second!" Gadsby said as he sat down next to his "baby girl." "You can't run a campaign without knowing a lot about local issues, which you don't. Any opponent who understands these things would easily outsmart you. No, sweetheart, this politics stuff is too much for you. Just take care of things in that little bungalow of yours and let Branton Hills handle getting Bill in. You know my old saying: 'A man leads a city; a woman keeps the home.'"
And Nancy, fondly stroking his hand, said:
And Nancy, gently stroking his hand, said:
"Man at a city's front! What a grand post for a man! A city, a big, rushing, dashing, slamming, banging, boiling mass of humanity! A city; with its bright, happy, sunny parks; and its sad, dark slums; its rich mansions and its shanty-town shacks; its shops, inns, shows, courts, airports, railway stations, hospitals, schools, church groups, social clubs, and,—and,—Oh! What a magic visualization of human thought it is! But it is as a small child. It looks for a strong arm to support its first toddlings; for adult minds to pilot it around many pitfalls; and onward, onward!! To a shining goal!!" and Nancy's crown of rich brown hair sank lovingly in Gadsby's lap.
"Man at the front of a city! What an amazing position for a man! A city, a big, bustling, dynamic, loud, chaotic, vibrant crowd of people! A city; with its bright, cheerful, sunny parks; and its gloomy, dark slums; its lavish mansions and its rundown shacks; its shops, bars, entertainment venues, courts, airports, train stations, hospitals, schools, community groups, social clubs, and—oh! What a captivating representation of human thought it is! But it’s like a little child. It seeks a strong hand to help it take its first steps; for mature minds to guide it through many challenges; and onward, onward!! To a brilliant future!!" and Nancy's crown of rich brown hair gently rested in Gadsby's lap.
During this outburst Gadsby had sat dumb; but finally saying, proudly:—
During this outburst, Gadsby sat silently; but finally he said, proudly:—
"So, ho! My baby girl has grown up! Dolls and sand-digging tools don't call, as of old. And small, dirty paws, and a tiny smudgy chin, transform, almost in a twinkling into charming hands and a chin of maturity. My, my! It was but a month or two ago that you, in pig-tails and gingham——"
"So, hey! My little girl has grown up! Dolls and sand-digging toys don't interest her anymore. Those small, dirty hands and a little smudgy chin have quickly transformed into graceful hands and a more mature chin. Wow! It was just a month or two ago that you were in pigtails and gingham——"
"All right, kid; but as you grow old, you'll find that, in glancing backwards, months look mighty short; and small tots grow up, almost in a night. A month from now looks awfully far off; but last month? Pff! That was only last night!"
"Okay, kid; but as you get older, you'll realize that when you look back, months seem really short; and little kids grow up almost overnight. A month from now feels like a long time away; but last month? Pff! That was just last night!"
Thus did Nancy and His Honor talk, until a vigorous honking at his curb told of Frank, "looking for a cook," for it was six o'clock.
Thus did Nancy and His Honor talk, until a loud honking at his curb announced Frank, "looking for a cook," because it was six o'clock.
XXIII
Any man with so kindly a disposition toward Youth as has brought our Mayor forward in Branton Hills' history, may, without warning, run across an occasion which holds an opportunity for adding a bit of joy in living. So, as Gadsby stood, on a chilly fall day, in front of that big glass building which was built for a city florist, admiring a charming display of blossoming plants, a small girl, still in Grammar School, said, shyly:—
Any man with such a kind attitude towards Youth as has led our Mayor to be prominent in Branton Hills' history may unexpectedly come across an opportunity to bring a bit of joy to life. So, as Gadsby stood on a chilly fall day in front of that large glass building designed for a city florist, admiring a lovely display of blooming plants, a small girl, still in Grammar School, said shyly:—
"Hulloa."
"Hello."
"Hulloa, you. School out?"
"Hey, you. School out?"
"On Saturdays, school is always out."
"No school on Saturdays."
"That's so; it is Saturday, isn't it? Going in?"
"That's right; it is Saturday, isn't it? Heading in?"
"In!! My, no! I can't go into that fairyland!"
"No way! I can't enter that fairyland!"
"No? Why not, pray?"
"No? Why not, please?"
"Aw! I dunno; but nobody has took kids in."
"Aw! I don’t know, but nobody has taken in kids."
"Took? Took? Say, young lady, you must study your grammar book. Branton Hills schools don't——"
"Took? Took? Listen, young lady, you need to study your grammar book. Branton Hills schools don’t——"
"Uh-huh; I know. But a kid just can't—"
"Uh-huh; I know. But a kid just can't—"
Now, many a fairy book has told, in glowing words, of childhood's joys and thrills at amazing sights; but no fairy book could show, in cold print, what Gadsby ran up against as that big door shut, and a child stood stock still—and dumb! Two small arms hung limply down, against a poor, oh, so poor skirt; and two big staring brown orbs took in that vision of floral glory, which is found in just that kind of a big glass building on a cold, raw autumn day.
Now, many fairy tales have described, in beautiful words, the joys and excitement of childhood in the face of amazing sights; but no fairy tale could capture, in plain text, what Gadsby encountered as that big door closed, and a child stood frozen—and dumb! Two small arms dangled weakly down, against a worn, oh, so worn skirt; and two large, wide brown eyes took in that scene of floral beauty, which can only be found in just that kind of big glass building on a chilly, damp autumn day.
Gadsby said not a word; slowly strolling down a path amidst thousands of gladioli; around a turn, and up a path, along which stood pots and pots of fuchsias, salvias and cannas; and to a cross-path, down which was a big flat pansy patch, tubs of blossoming lilacs, and stiff, straight carnations. Not a word from Gadsby, for his mind was on that small bunch of rapturous joy just in front of him. But, finally, just to pry a bit into that baby mind, His Honor said:—
Gadsby didn’t say a word; he walked slowly down a path surrounded by thousands of gladioli; around a bend, up a path lined with pots and pots of fuchsias, salvias, and cannas; and to a cross-path, where there was a big flat patch of pansies, tubs of blooming lilacs, and upright, straight carnations. Gadsby was silent because his mind was focused on that small bunch of pure joy right in front of him. But finally, just to get a glimpse into that little mind, His Honor said:—
"Looks kind of good, don't it?"
"Looks kind of good, doesn't it?"
A tiny form shrunk down about an inch; and an also tiny bosom, rising and falling in a thralldom of bliss, finally put forth a long, long,—
A tiny figure shrank down to about an inch; and a similarly small chest, rising and falling in a state of bliss, finally let out a long, long,—
"O-h-h-h-h!!"
"Ohhh!!"
Now in watching this tot thrilling at its first visit to such a world of floral glory, Gadsby got what boys call "a hunch;" and said:—
Now, as he watched this little one marveling at its first encounter with such a beautiful world of flowers, Gadsby had what boys refer to as "a hunch," and said:—
"You don't find blossoms in your yard this month, do you?"
"You don't have any flowers in your yard this month, do you?"
If you know childhood you know that thrills don't last long without a call for information. And Gadsby got such a call, with:—
If you've experienced childhood, you know that excitement doesn't last without a request for attention. And Gadsby received such a request, with:—
"No, sir. Is this God's parlor?"
"No, sir. Is this God's lounge?"
Now Gadsby wouldn't, for anything, spoil a childish thought; so said, kindly:—
Now Gadsby wouldn’t, for anything, ruin a child's thought; he said kindly:—
"It's part of it. God's parlor is awfully big, you know."
"It's part of it. God's place is really big, you know."
"My parlor is awfully small; and not any bloss—— Oh! Wouldn't God——?"
"My parlor is really small; and not a single blossom—— Oh! Wouldn't God——?"
Gadsby's hunch was now working, full tilt; and so, as this loving family man, having had four kids of his own, and this tot from a poor family with its "awfully small" parlor,—had trod this big glass building's paths again and again; round and round, an almost monstrous sigh from an almost bursting tiny bosom, said:—
Gadsby's instinct was now in overdrive; and so, as this devoted family man, having raised four kids of his own, and this little one from a struggling family with its "really small" living room,—had walked the halls of this big glass building time and time again; going around and around, an almost gigantic sigh from an almost bursting tiny heart, said:—
"I'll think of God's parlor, always and always and always!!" and Gadsby, on glancing upwards, saw a distinct drooping and curving of many stalks; which is a plant's way of bowing to a child. And, at Branton Hills' following Council night a motion was—— But I said Gadsby had a hunch. So, not only this schoolgirl's awfully small parlor, but many such throughout Branton Hills' poor districts, soon found a "big girl" from Gadsby's original Organization of Youth at its front door with plants from that big glass building, in which our City Florist works in God's parlor. (P.S. Go with a child to your City Florist's big glass building. It's a duty!)
"I'll think of God's parlor, always and always and always!!" and Gadsby, glancing up, noticed many drooping and curving stalks; that's a plant's way of bowing to a child. And on the following Council night in Branton Hills, there was a motion— but I mentioned that Gadsby had a hunch. So, not just this schoolgirl's tiny parlor, but many others in Branton Hills' struggling neighborhoods, soon had a "big girl" from Gadsby's original Organization of Youth at the front door, bringing plants from that big glass building where our City Florist works in God's parlor. (P.S. Take a child to your City Florist's big glass building. It's a duty!)
XXIV
I am now going back to my saying that a city has all kinds of goings-on; both sad and gay. So, as His Honor sat on his porch on a warm spring day, a paragraph in Branton Hills' "Post" brought forth such a vigorous "Huh!" that Lady Gadsby was curious, asking:—
I'm heading out now. back to what I said about a city having all sorts of happenings; both sad and happy. So, as His Honor sat on his porch on a warm spring day, a paragraph in Branton Hills' "Post" prompted such a forceful "Huh!" that Lady Gadsby was curious, asking:—
"What is it?"
"What's that?"
So Gadsby said:—"What do you think of this? It says:—'In a wild swaying dash down Broadway last night at midnight, past-Councilman Antor's car hit a hydrant, killing him and Madam Antor instantly. Highway Patrolman Harry Grant, who was chasing that car in from our suburbs, says both horribly drunk, Antor grazing four cars, Madam shouting and singing wildly, with Grant arriving too tardily to ward off that final crash.'"
So Gadsby said, “What do you think of this? It says: 'In a wild, swerving dash down Broadway last night at midnight, former Councilman Antor's car hit a hydrant, killing him and Madam Antor instantly. Highway Patrolman Harry Grant, who was chasing that car from our suburbs, says they were both horribly drunk, with Antor grazing four cars, and Madam shouting and singing wildly, while Grant arrived too late to prevent that final crash.'”
Now Lady Gadsby was, first of all, a woman; and so got up quickly, saying:—
Now Lady Gadsby was, above all, a woman; and so she got up quickly, saying:—
"Oh!! I must go down to poor young Mary, right off!" and Gadsby sat tapping his foot, saying:—
"Oh!! I need to go see poor young Mary, right now!" and Gadsby sat tapping his foot, saying:—
"So Antor's pantry probably still holds that stuff. Too bad. But, oh, that darling Mary! Just got into High School! Not long ago Lucy told us of girls snubbing that kid; but I trust that, from this horror, our Branton Hills girls will turn from snubbing to pity. This account says that Madam Antor also was drunk. A woman drunk!! And riding with a rum-sot man at a car's controls! Woman! From History's dawn, Man's soft, fond, loving pal! Woman! For whom wars of blood and agony cut Man down as you would mow a lawn! Woman! To whom infancy and childhood look for all that is upright and good! It's too bad; too bad!"
"So Antor's pantry probably still has that stuff. Too bad. But, oh, that sweet Mary! She just started High School! Not long ago, Lucy told us that some girls were ignoring that kid; but I hope that, after this awful situation, our Branton Hills girls will go from ignoring her to feeling sorry for her. This report says that Madam Antor was also drunk. A woman drunk!! And riding with a drunk guy behind the wheel! Woman! From the beginning of time, Man's gentle, loving friend! Woman! For whom wars of blood and pain take Man down like mowing a lawn! Woman! To whom babies and children look for everything that is right and good! It's too bad; so sad!"
As in all such affairs you will always find two factions talking. Talking about what? Just now, about Norman Antor. What would this wiping out of his folks do to him? Norman was now living with Mary and two aunts who, coming from out of town, would try to plan for our two orphans; try to plan for Norman; Norman, brought up in a pool of liquor! Norman: tall, dark and manly and with a most ingratiating disposition——if not drunk. But nobody could say. A group would claim that "this fatality will bring him out of it;" but his antagonists thought that "That guy will always drink."
As in all these situations, you’ll always find two sides discussing things. Talking about what? Right now, it’s about Norman Antor. What impact would this loss of his family have on him? Norman was now living with Mary and two aunts who, visiting from out of town, were trying to figure out a plan for our two orphans; trying to plan for Norman; Norman, who grew up in a sea of alcohol! Norman: tall, dark, and handsome, with a really charming personality—when he’s not drunk. But who could say? One group would insist that “this tragedy will bring him out of it,” while his opponents believed, “That guy will always drink.”
A day or two from that crash, Nancy, coming into Gadsby's parlor, found Lucy talking with Lady Gadsby, Lucy asking:—
A day or two after that crash, Nancy walked into Gadsby's parlor and found Lucy chatting with Lady Gadsby. Lucy was asking:—
"I just found out," said Nancy. "Mary is living with Old Lady Flanagan" and Lucy, though sad, had to laugh just a bit, saying:—
"I just found out," Nancy said. "Mary is living with Old Lady Flanagan," and Lucy, though sad, couldn't help but chuckle a little, saying:—
"Ha, ha! Old Lady Flanagan! What a circus I had trying to pry a zoo donation from that poor soul's skimpy funds! But, Nancy, Mary is in mighty good hands. That loving old Irish lady is a trump!"
"Ha, ha! Old Lady Flanagan! What a circus I had trying to get a zoo donation from that poor woman's limited funds! But, Nancy, Mary is in great hands. That kind old Irish lady is a gem!"
XXV
Along in April, Gadsby sat finishing his morning toast as a boy, rushing in, put a "Post" on his lap with a wild, boyish gasp of:—"My gosh, Mayor Gadsby, Look!!" and Gadsby saw a word about a foot high. It was W—A—R. Lady Gadsby saw it also, slowly sinking into a chair. At that instant both Nancy and Kathlyn burst frantically in, Nancy lugging Baby Lillian, now almost two, and a big load for so small a woman, Nancy gasping out:—
In April, Gadsby was finishing his morning toast when a boy rushed in, dropped a "Post" on his lap, and exclaimed, “No way, Mayor Gadsby, Check this out!!” Gadsby noticed a word that was about a foot tall. It was W—A—R. Lady Gadsby also saw it, slowly sinking into a chair. At that moment, both Nancy and Kathlyn burst in, with Nancy carrying Baby Lillian, who was now almost two and quite heavy for such a small woman, gasping:—
"Daddy!! Must Bill and Julius and Frank and John,——"
"Daddy!! Do Bill, Julius, Frank, and John have to—"
Gadsby put down his "Post" and, pulling Nancy down onto his lap, said:—
Gadsby put down his "Post" and, pulling Nancy onto his lap, said:—
"Nancy darling, Bill and Julius and Frank and John must. Old Glory is calling, baby, and no Branton Hills boy will balk at that call. It's awful, but it's a fact, now."
"Nancy, dear, Bill, Julius, Frank, and John have to go. Old Glory is calling, and no boy from Branton Hills will turn away from that call. It's terrible, but that's the reality now."
Lady Gadsby said nothing, but Nancy and Kathlyn saw an ashy pallor on that matronly brow; and Gadsby going out without waiting for his customary kiss.
Lady Gadsby said nothing, but Nancy and Kathlyn noticed a grayish pallor on that matronly brow, and Gadsby left without waiting for his usual kiss.
"Four from our shop; and that big cotton mill has forty-six who will go."
"Four from our shop, and that big cotton mill has forty-six who are ready to go."
With Virginia saying:—
With Virginia saying:—
"About all that our boys talk about is uniforms, pay, transportation, army corps, divisions, naval squadrons, and so on."
"All our guys talk about is uniforms, pay, transportation, army units, divisions, navy squads, and so on."
An occasional Branton Hills politician thought that it "might blow out in a month or two;" but your Historian knows that it didn't; all of that "blowing" consisting of blasts from that military clarion, calling for mobilization.
An occasional Branton Hills politician thought it "might blow over in a month or two;" but your Historian knows it didn't; all of that "blowing" consisted of blasts from that military horn, calling for mobilization.
* * * *
* * * *
Days! Days! Days! Finally, on May Fourth, that day of tiny Nancy's big church ritual, you know; that day, upon which any woman would look back with romantic joy, Nancy, with Kathlyn, Lady Gadsby and His Honor, stood at Branton Hills' big railway station, at which our Municipal Band was drawn up; in back of which stood, in solid ranks, this city's grand young manhood, Bill, Julius, Frank, John, Paul and Norman standing just as straight and rigid as any. As that long, long troop train got its signal to start,—but you know all about such sights, going on daily, from our Pacific coast to Atlantic docks.
Days! Days! Days! Finally, on May 4th, that day of little Nancy's big church ceremony, you know; that day that any woman would remember with sentimental happiness, Nancy, along with Kathlyn, Lady Gadsby, and His Honor, stood at Branton Hills' large train station, where our Municipal Band was assembled; behind them stood, in solid lines, the city's impressive young men—Bill, Julius, Frank, John, Paul, and Norman—standing as straight and rigid as can be. As that long troop train got its signal to depart— but you know all about those sights, happening every day, from our Pacific coast to Atlantic docks.
"Wow!! I wish I could go to war!"
"Wow!! I wish I could go to war!"
"Hi!" said Gadsby. "If it isn't Kid Banks!"
"Hey!" said Gadsby. "Isn't that Kid Banks!"
"Aw! Cut that kid stuff! I'm Allan Banks! Son of Councilman Banks!"
"Aw! Cut the childish act! I'm Allan Banks! Son of Councilman Banks!"
"Oh, pardon. But you don't want to go to war, boy."
"Oh, excuse me. But you really don't want to go to war, kid."
"Aw! I do too!!"
"Aww! Me too!!"
"But young boys can't go to war."
"But young boys can't go to war."
"I know that; and I wish this will last until I grow so I can go. It's just grand! A big cannon says Boom! Boom! and,—"
"I know that; and I hope this lasts until I grow up so I can go. It's just amazing! A big cannon goes Boom! Boom! and,—"
"Sit down on this wall, boy. I want to talk to you."
"Sit down on this wall, kid. I want to talk to you."
"All right. Shoot!"
"Go ahead. Shoot!"
"Now look, Allan. If this war should last until you grow up, just think of how many thousands of troops it would kill. How many grand, good lads it would put right out of this world."
"Now listen, Allan. If this war continues until you’re grown up, just think of how many thousands of soldiers it would take down. How many great young men it would send straight out of this world."
"Gosh! That's so, ain't it! I didn't think of guys dyin'."
"Gosh! That's so true, isn't it! I didn't think about guys dying."
"But a man has to think of that, Allan. And you will, as you grow up. My two big sons just put off on that big troop train. I don't know how long Bill and Julius will stay away. Your big cannon might go Boom! and hit Bill or Julius. Do you know Frank Morgan, Paul Johnson and John Smith? All right; that big cannon might hit that trio, too. Nobody can say who a cannon will hit, Allan. Now, you go right on through Grammar School, and grow up into a big strong man, and don't think about war;" and Gadsby, standing and gazing far off to Branton Hills' charming hill district, thought: "I think that will bust up a wild young ambition!"
"But a man has to think about that, Allan. And you will, as you get older. My two big sons just left on that big troop train. I don’t know how long Bill and Julius will be away. That big cannon could go Boom! and hit Bill or Julius. Do you know Frank Morgan, Paul Johnson, and John Smith? Sure; that big cannon could hit those guys too. Nobody can predict who a cannon will hit, Allan. Now, you just keep going through Grammar School, grow up into a strong man, and don’t think about war;" and Gadsby, standing and gazing far off to the beautiful hills of Branton, thought: "I think that will ruin a wild young ambition!"
But that kid, turning back, sang out:—
But that kid, turning back, shouted:—
"Say!! If this scrap stops, and a big war starts,—Aha, boy! You just watch Allan Banks! Son of Councilman Banks!!" and a small fist was pounding viciously on an also small bosom.
"Hey!! If this mess stops, and a big war breaks out,—Aha, boy! Just keep an eye on Allan Banks! Son of Councilman Banks!!" and a tiny fist was hitting fiercely on an equally small chest.
"By golly!" said Gadsby, walking away, "that's Tomorrow talking!"
"Wow!" said Gadsby, walking away, "that's Tomorrow speaking!"
* * * *
* * * *
So now this history will drift along; along through days and months; days and months of that awful gnawing doubt; actually a paradox, for it was a "conscious coma;" mornings on which Branton Hills' icy blood shrank from looking at our city's "Post," for its casualty list was rapidly—too rapidly,—growing. Days and days of our girlhood and womanhood rolling thousands of long, narrow cotton strips; packing loving gifts from many a pantry; Nancy and Kathlyn thinking constantly of Frank and John; Lucy almost down and out from worrying about Paul; Kathlyn knowing just how Julius is missing his Hall of Natural History, and how its staff is praying for him; Nancy's radio shut down tight, for so much as a thought of Station KBH was as a thrust of a sword. Days. Days. Days of shouting orators, blaring bands, troops from far away pausing at our big railway station, as girls, going through long trains of cars, took doughnuts and hot drinks. In Gadsby's parlor window hung that famous "World War flag" of nothing but stars; nobody knowing at what instant a gold star would show upon it. A star for Bill; a star for Julius. Ah, Bill! Branton Hills' fop! Bill Gadsby now in an ill-fitting and un-stylish khaki uniform.
So now this history will unfold; through days and months; days and months of that terrible, gnawing doubt; actually a contradiction, because it was a "conscious coma;" mornings when Branton Hills' icy nerves recoiled from looking at our city's "Post," as its casualty list was quickly—too quickly—growing. Days and days of our girlhood and womanhood spent rolling thousands of narrow cotton strips; packing loving gifts from many pantries; Nancy and Kathlyn constantly thinking of Frank and John; Lucy nearly overwhelmed with worry about Paul; Kathlyn aware of how much Julius misses the Hall of Natural History, and how its staff is praying for him; Nancy's radio turned off tight, because even a thought of Station KBH felt like a stab. Days. Days. Days filled with shouting speakers, loud bands, soldiers from far away stopping at our big train station, while girls, going through long rows of cars, handed out doughnuts and hot drinks. In Gadsby's parlor window hung that famous "World War flag" covered in stars; no one knowing when a gold star would appear on it. A star for Bill; a star for Julius. Ah, Bill! Branton Hills' dandy! Bill Gadsby now in an ill-fitting, outdated khaki uniform.
Gadby's mansion had no brilliant night lights, now; just his parlor lamp and a small light or two in hallways or on stairways. Only our Mayor and his Lady, now worrying, worrying, worrying; but both of good, staunch old Colonial stock; and "carrying on" with good old Plymouth Rock stability; and Nancy's baby, Lillian, too young to ask why Grandma "wasn't hungry," now; and didn't laugh so much.
Gadby's mansion didn't have any bright night lights anymore; just his living room lamp and a couple of small lights in the hallways or on the stairs. Only our Mayor and his wife were there, now anxious, anxious, anxious; but both from solid, traditional Colonial backgrounds; and "keeping it together" with good old Plymouth Rock stability; and Nancy's baby, Lillian, too young to understand why Grandma "wasn't hungry" anymore; and didn't laugh as much.
Kathlyn got into our big hospital, this studious young lady's famous biological and microscopic ability holding out an opportunity for most practical work; for Branton Hills' shot-torn boys would soon start drifting in. And thus it was; with Lucy, Sarah and Virginia inspiring Branton Hills' womanhood to knit, knit, knit! You saw knitting on many a porch; knitting in railway trains; knitting during band music in City Park; knitting in shady arbors out at our big zoo; at many a woman's club,—and,—actually, knitting in church!! Finally a big factory, down by our railway station, put out a call for "anybody, man or woman, who wants to work on munitions;" and many a dainty Branton Hills girl sat at big, unfamiliar stamping, punching, grinding, or polishing outfits; tiring frail young backs and straining soft young hands; knowing that this factory's output might,—and probably would,—rob a woman across that big Atlantic of a husband or son,—but, still, it is war!
Kathlyn arrived at our large hospital, this studious young woman’s renowned biological and microscopic skills providing an opportunity for practical work. The shot-torn boys from Branton Hills would soon start coming in. And so it was; with Lucy, Sarah, and Virginia encouraging the women of Branton Hills to knit, knit, knit! You saw knitting on many porches; knitting in trains; knitting during band music in City Park; knitting in shady spots at our big zoo; at many women’s clubs,—and,—believe it or not, knitting in church!! Eventually, a big factory near our train station called for "anybody, man or woman, who wants to work on munitions," and many delicate Branton Hills girls found themselves at large, unfamiliar stamping, punching, grinding, or polishing machines; exhausting their frail young backs and straining their soft young hands; knowing that the factory’s products might,—and likely would,—take away a husband or son from a woman across that vast Atlantic,—but, still, it is war!
Gadsby, smoking on his ivy-clad porch, as his Lady was industriously knitting, said, in a sort of soliloquy:—
Gadsby, relaxing on his ivy-covered porch while his lady was busy knitting, said, almost to himself:—
"War! That awful condition which a famous military man in command of a division, long ago, said was synonymous with Satan and all his cohorts! War! That awful condition of human minds coming down from way, way back of all history; that vast void during which sympathy was not known; during which animals fought with tooth, claw or horn; that vast void during which wounds had no soothing balm, until thirst, agony or a final swoon laid low a gigantic mammoth, or a tiny, gasping fawn! But now, again, in this grand day of Man's magically growing brain, this day of kindly crooning to infants in cribs; kindly talks to boys and girls in school; and blood-tingling orations from thousands of pulpits upon that Holy Command: 'Thou Shalt Not Kill,' now, again, Man is out to kill his own kind." And Lady Gadsby could only sigh.
"War! That terrible state that a well-known military leader in charge of a division once said was like Satan and all his minions! War! That terrible mindset of humanity stretching back through all of history; that vast emptiness where compassion didn’t exist; a time when animals fought with teeth, claws, or horns; that immense void when injuries had no healing touch, until thirst, pain, or a final collapse brought down a massive mammoth or a small, gasping fawn! But now, again, in this remarkable time of Man's rapidly expanding intellect, this time of gently soothing babies in cribs; of encouraging discussions with boys and girls in school; and electrifying speeches from thousands of pulpits about that Holy Command: 'Thou Shalt Not Kill,' now, again, Man is determined to destroy his own kind." And Lady Gadsby could only sigh.
XXVI
As this story has shown, Youth, if adults will only admit that it has any brains at all, will stand out, today, in a most promising light. Philosophically, Youth is Wisdom in formation, and with many thoughts startling to adult minds; and, industrially, this vast World's coming stability is now, today, in its hands; growing slowly, as a blossom grows from its bud. If you will furnish him with a thorough schooling, you can plank down your dollar that Youth, starting out from this miraculous day, will not lag nor shirk on that coming day in which old joints, rusty and crackling, must slow down; and, calling for an oil can, you will find that Youth only, is that lubrication which can run Tomorrow's World. But Youth must not go thinking that all its plans will turn out all right; and young Marian Hopkins found this out. Marian, you know, took part in our airport initiation. But Marian, only a kid at that day, has grown up—or half-way up, anyway, and just graduating from Grammar School; upon which big day a child "knows" as much as any famous savant of antiquity! But, as this story runs in skips and jumps, strict chronological continuity is not a possibility. So, Marian is now half grown-up. Now that big airport, as you also know, was just back of Marian's back yard; and as that yard was much too big for anything that Marian's Dad could do with it, it was put up for disposal. But nobody would go to look at it; to say nothing of buying it. But Old Bill Simpkins, past antagonist of Gadsby's Organization of Youth, did go out to look at it; but said, with his customary growl:—
As this story has shown, Youth, if adults will just admit that it has any intelligence at all, will stand out today in a very promising way. Philosophically, Youth is Wisdom in the making, filled with many ideas that surprise adult minds; and, in terms of industry, the stability of this vast World is now, today, in its hands, growing slowly like a flower blooms from its bud. If you give him a solid education, you can bet your dollar that Youth, starting out from this amazing day, won’t lag behind or avoid responsibility when the time comes for old joints, rusty and creaky, to slow down; and when you reach for an oil can, you’ll see that Youth only is the lubricant that can keep Tomorrow's World running. But Youth shouldn’t assume that all its plans will turn out perfectly; and young Marian Hopkins learned this lesson. Marian, you know, participated in our airport initiation. But Marian, just a kid back then, has grown up—or at least halfway, just graduating from Grammar School; on that big day, a child "knows" as much as any famous scholar from the past! However, as this story moves along in leaps and bounds, strict chronological order is not possible. So, Marian is now half grown-up. You also know that big airport was right behind Marian's backyard; and since that yard was way too big for anything Marian's dad could handle, it was put up for sale. But nobody wanted to check it out, let alone buy it. However, Old Bill Simpkins, a former rival of Gadsby's Organization of Youth, did go to take a look at it; but he said, with his usual grumpiness:—
"Too many aircraft always roaring and zooming. Too far out of town. And you ask too much for it, anyway."
"Too many planes always flying in and out. Way too far from the city. And you’re asking too much for it, anyway."
But Marian thought that Branton Hills, as a municipality, should own it; figuring that that airport would grow, and that yard was practically a part of it, anyway. So Marian, going to His Honor, as about anybody in town did, without an instant's dallying, "told him," (!) what his Council should do.
But Marian believed that Branton Hills, as a town, should own it; thinking that the airport would expand, and that property was basically part of it, anyway. So Marian, going to the Mayor, like just about everyone in town did, without a moment’s hesitation, "told him," (!) what his Council should do.
"But," said Gadsby, "what a City Council should do, and what it will do, don't always match up."
"But," said Gadsby, "what a City Council is supposed to do and what it actually does don't always line up."
"Can't I go and talk to it?"
"Can't I go and talk to it?"
"What! To our Council? No; that is, not as a body. But if you can run across a Councilman out of City Hall you can say what you wish. A Councilman is just an ordinary man, you know."
"What! To our Council? No; not as a group. But if you happen to run into a Councilman outside of City Hall, you can say whatever you want. A Councilman is just an ordinary guy, you know."
On Council night, Simpkins took up a good,—or I should say, bad—half hour against Branton Hills "buying any old dump or scrap land that is put up. What was this city coming to?" and so on, and so on. And Marian's back yard wasn't bought. Now Youth is all right if you rub its fur in a way which suits it; but, man!! hold on to your hat, if you don't!! And Marian's fur was all lumpy. Boy! was that kid MAD!!
On Council night, Simpkins spent a good—or should I say, bad—half hour complaining about Branton Hills "buying any old dump or scrap land that's up for sale. What is this city coming to?" and so on, and so on. And Marian's backyard didn't get purchased. Now, youth is fine if you handle it the right way; but, man!! hold on to your hat if you don't!! And Marian was really upset. Wow! was that kid MAD!!
Now, just by luck, March thirty-first, coming along as days do, you know, found Marian in front of a toy shop window, in which, way down front, was a box of cigars, with a card saying: "This Brand Will Start His Blood Tingling." And Marian, as boys say, was "on" in an instant; and bought a cigar. Not a box, not a bunch, but just a cigar. Coming out Marian saw His Honor and Simpkins passing; Simpkins saying:—
Now, just by chance, March thirty-first rolled around like any other day, and Marian found herself in front of a toy shop window, where, right at the front, there was a box of cigars with a sign that read: "This Brand Will Start His Blood Tingling." And Marian, as boys would say, got excited in an instant and bought a cigar. Not a box, not a bunch, just a cigar. As she came out, Marian saw His Honor and Simpkins passing by; Simpkins said:—
"All right. I'll drop around, tonight." And was Marian happy? Wait a bit.
"Okay. I’ll swing by tonight." And was Marian happy? Just hang on a second.
That night as Gadsby and Simpkins sat talking in His Honor's parlor, who would, "just by luck," (??) walk in, but Marian; saying, oh, so shyly:—
That night, as Gadsby and Simpkins were chatting in His Honor's living room, who would, "just by chance," walk in but Marian, saying, oh, so shyly:—
"Just thought I'd drop in to chat with Nancy," and, on passing a couch, slyly laid that cigar on it. Now Simpkins, in addition to his famous grouch, was a parsimonious old crab; who, though drawing good pay as Councilman, couldn't pass up anything that cost nothing; and, in gazing around, saw that cigar; and, with a big apologizing yawn, and slinking onto that couch as a cat slinks up on a bird, and, oh, so nonchalantly lighting a match, was soon puffing away and raving about Branton Hills politics. Out in a back parlor sat Marian and Nancy on a big divan, hugging tightly up, arm in arm, and almost suffocating from holding back youthful anticipations, as Simpkins said:—
"Just thought I'd stop by to talk with Nancy," and, as he passed a couch, he slyly placed that cigar on it. Now, Simpkins, in addition to his famous grumpiness, was a stingy old guy; who, even though he earned good money as a Councilman, couldn't resist anything that was free. As he looked around, he spotted the cigar, and with a big, apologetic yawn, he slinked onto that couch like a cat creeping up on a bird, and, oh, so casually lighting a match, he soon started puffing away and raving about Branton Hills politics. In a back parlor, Marian and Nancy sat close together on a big couch, hugging tightly, arm in arm, almost suffocating from holding back their youthful excitement, as Simpkins said:—
"... and that Hopkins back yard stunt! Ridiculous! Why, his kid was out, trying to find all of our Council to talk it into buying. Bah! And did I block it? I'll say I did! You don't find kids today laughing at Councilman Simpkins."
"... and that ridiculous stunt in Hopkins' backyard! Seriously! His kid was out there trying to convince all of us on the Council to support it. Ugh! And did I stop it? You bet I did! You don't see kids today laughing at Councilman Simpkins."
An actual spasm of giggling in that back parlor had Gadsby looking around, inquiringly.
An actual spasm of giggling in that back room had Gadsby looking around, curiously.
"No, sir!" Simpkins said. "No kid can fool Coun——"
"No way, sir!" Simpkins said. "No kid can trick Coun——"
BANG!!
BOOM!!
Gadsby, jumping up saw only a frazzly cigar stump in Old Bill's mouth, as that palpitating individual was vigorously brushing off falling sparks as His Honor's rugs got a rain of tobacco scraps! Gadsby was "on" in an instant, noticing Marian and Nancy rolling and tumbling around on that big divan, and doubling up in a giggling fit, way out of control. Finally Simpkins angrily got up, viciously jamming on his tall silk hat; and Marian, fighting that giggling fit, just had to call out:—
Gadsby jumped up and saw only a burnt cigar stub in Old Bill's mouth, as that nervous guy was frantically brushing off falling sparks while His Honor’s rugs were getting showered with tobacco bits! Gadsby was “on” in an instant, noticing Marian and Nancy rolling and tumbling around on the big couch, completely lost in a fit of giggles. Finally, Simpkins got up angrily, jamming his tall silk hat on his head; and Marian, struggling with her laughter, just had to shout out:—
"April Fool, Councilman Simpkins!!"
"April Fool's, Councilman Simpkins!!"
(And Mayor Gadsby, on a following Council night, got Marian's land bill through; many a Councilman holding his hand in front of his grinning mouth, in voting for bright, vitalic Youth.)
(And Mayor Gadsby, on a subsequent Council night, got Marian's land bill approved; many Council members covered their grinning mouths with their hands while voting for bright, vibrant Youth.)
XXVII
Widow Adams was sitting up again, for it was way past midnight, and Virginia was out. Many months ago Virginia was also out, and was brought back, unconscious. So now Nina was again sitting up, for Virginia was not a night-owl sort of a girl. Finally, around two o'clock, Nina couldn't stand it, and had to call in a passing patrolman. Now this patrolman was an original Organization of Youth boy, and had always known Nina and Virginia; and said:—
Widow Adams is sitting up again, well past midnight, and Virginia was out. Many months ago, Virginia was also out and was brought back, unconscious. So now Nina was once more sitting up because Virginia wasn’t the type to stay out late. Finally, around two o'clock, Nina couldn't take it anymore and had to call a passing police officer. This officer was a former Organization of Youth member and had always known Nina and Virginia; and said:—
"Oh, now! I wouldn't worry so. Possibly a bus had a blowout; or—"
"Oh, come on! I wouldn't stress about it. Maybe a bus had a flat tire; or—"
"But Virginia said nothing about going on a bus! Oh!! How could that child vanish so?"
"But Virginia said nothing about taking a bus! Oh!! How could that child just disappear like that?"
Naturally, all that that patrolman could do was to call his station; and Nina, almost all in, lay down, until, just about dawn a jangling ringing brought this half wild woman to a front hall, shouting:—
Naturally, all that the patrolman could do was call his station; and Nina, nearly out of it, lay down until, just about dawn, a loud ringing brought this half-wild woman to the front hall, shouting:—
"My Virginia, not running away, but flying away, to marry! Oh, this Youth of today!"
"My Virginia, not running away, but flying away, to marry! Oh, this Youth of today!"
* * * *
* * * *
Around six o'clock that night, Virginia and Harold stood arm in arm in Nina's parlor, as a big bus was groaning noisily away.
Around six o'clock that night, Virginia and Harold stood arm in arm in Nina's living room, as a big bus was rumbling loudly away.
"But, Mama," said Virginia, sobbing pitifully, "I didn't think you would——"
"But, Mom," said Virginia, crying sadly, "I didn't think you would——"
"That's just it, Virginia, you didn't think!! But you should! How could I know what was going on? That's just you young folks of today. You think of nothing but your own silly, foolish doings, and you allow us old good-for-nothings to go crazy with worry!!" and Nina sank in a gasping swoon onto a sofa.
"That's exactly it, Virginia, you didn't think!! But you should! How could I know what was happening? That's just how you young people are today. You only think about your own silly, foolish actions, and you let us old good-for-nothings go crazy with worry!!" and Nina collapsed in a gasping swoon onto a sofa.
But old Doc Wilkins, arriving at Virginia's frantic call, knowing Nina's iron constitution from childhood, soon had that limp form back to normal; and, with a dark, disapproving scowl at Virginia, said:—
But old Doc Wilkins, arriving at Virginia's frantic call, knowing Nina's strong constitution from childhood, quickly had that limp body back to normal; and, with a dark, disapproving scowl at Virginia, said:—
"Bring in a good batch of hot food, and your Ma will turn out all right," and going out, with a snort of disgust, and banging viciously that big front door!
"Bring in a good batch of hot food, and your mom will be just fine," and then he left, snorting in disgust and slamming that big front door!
XXVIII
Awful tidings in our Branton Hills' "Post," had so wrought up our ordinarily happy, laughing Sarah, who, with Paul abroad, was back, living again with old Tom Young, that Sarah, sitting on a low stool by old Tom's rocking chair was so still that Tom put down his "Post," saying:—
Bad news ahead our Branton Hills' "Post" had so affected our usually cheerful, laughing Sarah, who, with Paul away, was back living with old Tom Young, that Sarah, sitting on a low stool by old Tom's rocking chair, was so quiet that Tom set down his "Post," saying:—
"Gift of gab all run out, kid?"
"Have you run out of things to say, kid?"
But Sarah had an odd, thoughtful look. Sarah's bosom was rising and falling abnormally; but, finally, looking quickly up at old Tom, Sarah said:—
But Sarah had a strange, contemplative expression. Her chest was rising and falling unnaturally; but finally, glancing quickly up at old Tom, Sarah said:—
"Daddy, I want to go to war."
"Dad, I want to go to war."
"Do what?" If Sarah had said anything about jumping out of a balloon, or of buying a gorilla to play with, Tom Young wouldn't know any such astounding doubt as brought his rocking chair to a quick standstill.
"Do what?" If Sarah had mentioned anything about jumping out of a balloon, or buying a gorilla to play with, Tom Young wouldn't have experienced the kind of shocking uncertainty that made his rocking chair come to an abrupt stop.
"War? What kind of talk is this? A girl going to war? What for? How? Say!! Who put this crazy stunt into your brain, anyway?"
"War? What kind of conversation is this? A girl going to war? Why? How? Seriously!! Who put this wild idea into your head, anyway?"
As you know, Sarah was not only charming in ways, but also in build; and, with that glorious crown of brownish-gold hair, that always smiling mouth and that soft, plump girlishly-girlish form, no man, Tom Young nor anybody, could think of Sarah and war in a solitary thought. So Sarah said, softly:—
As you know, Sarah was not just charming in some ways but also in her appearance; with that beautiful crown of brownish-gold hair, her always smiling mouth, and her soft, curvy figure, no man, not even Tom Young, could think of Sarah and war in the same thought. So Sarah said softly:—
"Last night, our Night School trio thought that our boys, so far away, must miss us, and Branton Hills sights; and Doris said, 'Branton Hills sounds.' And so, why couldn't our trio join that big group of musicians which is sailing soon? And, Daddy, you know Paul is in that army. I don't know that I could find him, but—but—but I want to try. And Kathlyn is talking of going as biologist with a big hospital unit; so possibly I could stay with it."
"Last night, our Night School trio thought that our boys, so far away, must miss us and the sights of Branton Hills; and Doris said, 'Branton Hills sounds.' So, why couldn’t our trio join that big group of musicians that’s leaving soon? And, Dad, you know Paul is in that army. I’m not sure I could find him, but—but—but I want to try. And Kathlyn is thinking about going as a biologist with a big hospital unit; so maybe I could stick around."
Tom Young was dumb! His "Post" actually had told of such a musical outfit about to sail; but it was a man's organization. So, now it has got around to this! Our girls, our dainty, loving girls, brimful of both sympathy and patriotism, wanting to go into that tough, laborious work of singing in army camps; in huts; in hospitals; singing from trucks rolling along country roads along which sat platoons and battalions of troops, waiting for word which might bring to this or that boy his last long gun-toting tramp. Singing in—
Tom Young was so clueless! His "Post" actually had mentioned a musical group that was about to set sail; but it was a men's organization. So now it has come to this! Our girls, our sweet, caring girls, full of both sympathy and patriotism, wanting to take on the tough, demanding job of singing in army camps; in huts; in hospitals; singing from trucks moving along country roads where platoons and battalions of troops waited for news that might mean the end of a long and dangerous journey for this or that boy. Singing in—
"Aw, darling! Your trio was fooling, wasn't it? Now, girls don't——"
"Aw, darling! Your trio was just messing around, right? Now, girls don’t——"
"Aha!! Now you said a mouthful; if your folks don't! Darling, I'll say just two words as my part in this crazy stunt: 'Nothing doing!!' Kathlyn's work is mighty important; singing isn't."
"Aha!! Now you hit the nail on the head; if your family doesn't! Sweetie, I'll keep it short for this wild situation: 'Not a chance!!' Kathlyn's work is super important; singing isn't."
Sarah had not grown up from infancy in kindly Tom's cabin without knowing that his "no" was a "no!!" and not a flimsy, hollow word which a whining, or a sniffling, or a bawling child could switch around into: "Oh, all right, if you want to." So Sarah still sat on that low stool; or, to turn it around almost backwards,—Sarah sat on that stool,—still. So still that Tom's old tin clock on its wall hooks was soon dominating that small room with its rhythmic ticking, as a conductor's baton controls a brass band's pianissimos. Finally Sarah said softly, slowly, sadly and with a big, big sigh:—
Sarah hadn’t grown up in kindly Tom's cabin without realizing that his "no" was a "no!!" and not just a weak, empty word that a whining, sniffling, or crying child could twist into: "Oh, fine, if you really want to." So Sarah still sat on that low stool; or, to put it another way,—Sarah sat on that stool,—still. So still that Tom’s old tin clock on the wall soon filled that small room with its rhythmic ticking, like a conductor’s baton guiding a brass band’s soft notes. Finally, Sarah spoke softly, slowly, sadly, and with a big, big sigh:—
"I did so want to go." And that small clock was ticking, ticking, ticking ...
"I really wanted to go." And that little clock was ticking, ticking, ticking ...
For a full hour Sarah and old Tom sat talking and rocking, until Sarah, phoning to Doris, said:—
For a whole hour, Sarah and old Tom sat chatting and rocking back and forth until Sarah, calling out to Doris, said:—
"My Dad says no."
"My dad says no."
And Doris, phoning back to Sarah, said:—
And Doris, calling Sarah back, said:—
"So did my Dad."
"My dad did too."
And, as Virginia Adams was that trio's third part; and as Sarah and Doris had always known Nina Adams' strong will; and as,—Oh, hum! It was a happy fascination until adult minds got hold of it!
And, since Virginia Adams was the third member of that trio; and since Sarah and Doris had always recognized Nina Adams' strong will; and as,—Oh, sigh! It was a joyful attraction until adult minds took over!
XXIX
Gadsby was walking back from a visit down in Branton Hills' manufacturing district on a Saturday night. A busy day's traffic had had its noisy run; and with not many folks in sight, His Honor got along without having to stop to grasp a hand, or talk; for a Mayor out of City Hall is a shining mark for any politician. And so, coming to Broadway, a booming bass drum and sounds of singing, told of a small Salvation Army unit carrying on amidst Broadway's night shopping crowds. Gadsby, walking toward that group, saw a young girl, back towards him, just finishing a long, soulful oration, saying:—
Gadsby was walking. back from a visit in Branton Hills' manufacturing district on a Saturday night. The busy traffic had settled down, and with not many people around, His Honor could move along without stopping to shake hands or chat; after all, a Mayor outside City Hall is an easy target for any politician. As he reached Broadway, a booming bass drum and singing indicated a small Salvation Army group entertaining amidst the night shoppers. Gadsby, approaching that group, noticed a young girl with her back to him, just finishing a heartfelt speech, saying:—
"... and I can say this to you, for I know what I am talking about; for I was brought up in a pool of liquor!!"
"... and I can tell you this, because I know what I'm talking about; I was raised in a pool of liquor!!"
As that army group was starting to march on, with this girl turning towards Gadsby, His Honor had to gasp, astonishingly:—
As that army group was getting ready to march, with this girl turning to Gadsby, His Honor had to gasp in amazement:—
"Why! Mary Antor!!"
"Why, Mary Antor?!"
"Oh! If it isn't Mayor Gadsby! I don't run across you much, now-a-days. How is Lady Gadsby holding up during this awful war?"
"Oh! If it isn't Mayor Gadsby! I don't see you around much these days. How is Lady Gadsby doing during this terrible war?"
"But this Salvation Army work, Mary? How long——"
"But this Salvation Army work, Mary? How long——"
Mary and His Honor had to walk along, as that big drum was now pounding a block away. During that walk Gadsby found out all about that vast void in Mary's bungalow following that fatal auto crash; and all about "two old maid aunts" as Mary said, who had all that pantry's liquor thrown down a drain and got out, also, a day or two following; all about living now at Old Lady Flanagan's.
Mary and His Honor had to walk along, as that big drum was now pounding a block away. During that walk, Gadsby learned all about the empty space in Mary's bungalow after that terrible car crash; and all about "two old maid aunts," as Mary called them, who had dumped all that liquor from the pantry down the drain and left a day or two later; and everything about living now at Old Lady Flanagan's.
"... for I just couldn't stay in that bungalow, with nobody around, you know." And all about loving companionship in that grand old lady's arms; and of Mary's finding that Flanagan, who got such a "wallop" from Antor's killing, wasn't drinking so much, now; which put it into Mary's mind that many a man would, with kindly coaching, turn from it.
"... for I just couldn't stay in that bungalow, with nobody around, you know." And all about loving companionship in that grand old lady's arms; and of Mary's realizing that Flanagan, who took such a "hit" from Antor's death, wasn't drinking as much now; which made Mary think that many a man would, with some gentle guidance, turn away from it.
"And I think that my nightly talks against liquor, hit; and hit hard, too; for almost nightly a poor down-and-out will follow along with our band, promising to cut it out and go straight. Oh, why didn't I try to stop Norman's drinking?"
"And I believe my nightly talks against alcohol are effective; they're hitting hard, too, because almost every night a struggling person will walk along with our group, vowing to quit and turn their life around. Oh, why didn't I try to stop Norman from drinking?"
"Oh-h-h-h! If I could only know that!" and a look of almost sanctity, and a big, long-drawn sigh told what a turmoil was going on in this young girl's mind. "But I'm going on, and on and on with this night talking until Norman is back again. Possibly a plan will turn up toward both of us living down our past,——and our sorrow." And Gadsby, slowly plodding along towards his dimly lit mansion, thought of a slight transposition of that scriptural quotation: "And your sins, you adults, shall fall upon your offspring, unto your third and fourth—"
"Oh-h-h-h! If I could just know that!" A look of near holiness and a big, drawn-out sigh revealed the chaos in this young girl's mind. "But I’m going to keep talking through the night until Norman is back. Maybe we’ll come up with a plan to both move past our history—and our pain." Meanwhile, Gadsby, trudging toward his dimly lit house, thought of a slight twist on that biblical quote: "And your sins, you adults, shall fall upon your children, down to the third and fourth—"
"Oh, if a man would only think of his offspring having to carry on, long past his last day! And of how hard it is for a boy or girl to stand up and proudly (?) claim that so-and-so 'was my Dad,' if all Branton Hills knows of that Dad's inglorious past. Poor kids!" for you know that Gadsby said, in this story's start, that "a man should so carry on his daily affairs as to bring no word of admonition from anybody;" for a man's doings should put a stain upon no soul but his own.
"Oh, if only a man would think about his kids having to keep going long after he’s gone! And how tough it is for a boy or girl to confidently say that so-and-so 'was my Dad,' when everyone in Branton Hills knows about that Dad's embarrassing past. Poor kids!" because you know that Gadsby said at the beginning of this story that "a man should live his daily life in a way that doesn’t draw any negative comments from anyone;" because a man's actions should only reflect on himself, not on anyone else.
"Look! Look, John! Word from William! From Bill, in Paris!"
"Hey! Hey, John! I just got news from William! From Bill, in Paris!"
Bill's first communication said:—
Bill's first message said:—
"Darling Folks: Julius and I just got into this town from a month of hard marching, ditch-digging and fighting. I am all right, and so is Julius. Ran across Frank, who is on duty at our Commissary. Lucky guy! Lots of food always around! Paul is growing fat. Looks mighty good. Oh, how all of us do miss you and good old Branton Hills! I can't find a solitary suit in this town that I would put on to go to a dog fight! Such fashion!" and so on; just a natural outpouring from a boy, away on his first trip from his Dad's kindly roof.
"Dear Folks: Julius and I just got into this town after a month of tough marching, ditch-digging, and fighting. I’m doing fine, and so is Julius. We ran into Frank, who’s working at our Commissary. Lucky guy! There’s always plenty of food around! Paul is getting fat. He looks really good. Oh, how we all miss you and good old Branton Hills! I can't find a single suit in this town that I would wear to a dog fight! What a fashion mess!" and so on; just a natural outpouring from a guy, away on his first trip from his Dad's caring home.
"Ha, ha!" said Gadsby, laughing jovially; "That's our Bill, all right! Always thinking of dolling up!" and Lady Gadsby, rising quickly, said:—
"Ha, ha!" Gadsby chuckled cheerfully. "That's our Bill, for sure! Always looking to dress things up!" Lady Gadsby quickly stood up and said:—
"Oh, I must call up Nancy, Kathlyn and Sarah!" and, in a trio of small bungalows, joy, wild joy, found its way into girlish minds!
"Oh, I have to call Nancy, Kathlyn, and Sarah!" and, in a trio of small bungalows, happiness, wild happiness, burst into the girls' minds!
As Gadsby sat, going through this good word again and again, a mirthful chuckling had Lady Gadsby asking:—
As Gadsby sat there, reading this great word over and over, a joyful chuckle had Lady Gadsby asking:—
"What's so funny about it?"
"What's so funny about that?"
XXX
Priscilla Standish was waiting at our big railroad station, on a warm Spring day, for a train to pull out, so that cross-track traffic could start again. It was just an ordinary train such as stop hourly at Branton Hills, but Priscilla saw that a group was hurrying toward a combination-car, way up forward. Now Priscilla was not a girl who found morbid curiosity in any such a public spot; but, still, an odd, uncanny sort of thrill,—almost a chill, in fact,—was urging, urging a slow walk toward that car. Just why, Priscilla didn't know; but such things do occur in a human mind. So Priscilla soon was standing on a trunk truck, gazing down into that group which now was slowly moving back, forming room for taking out a young man in khaki uniform, on a hospital cot. With a gasp of horror, Priscilla was instantly down from that truck, pushing through that group, and crying out, wildly:—
Priscilla Standish was waiting at our large train station on a warm spring day for a train to depart so that cross-track traffic could start up again. It was just a regular train that stopped at Branton Hills every hour, but Priscilla noticed a group rushing toward a combination-car at the front. Now, Priscilla wasn't the type to feel morbid curiosity in public spaces; however, an unusual, eerie thrill—almost like a chill—was compelling her to walk slowly toward that car. She didn't know why, but these things happen in people's minds. Soon, Priscilla found herself standing on a trunk truck, looking down at the group that was now slowly moving back, making room to bring out a young man in khaki uniform on a hospital cot. With a gasp of horror, Priscilla quickly jumped down from the truck, pushing through the crowd and crying out, wildly:—
"Arthur! Arthur Rankin! Oh! Oh! What is it, darling?" and looking up at a hospital assistant, "Is it bad?"
"Arthur! Arthur Rankin! Oh! Oh! What’s wrong, sweetheart?" and looking up at a hospital assistant, "Is it serious?"
Arthur Rankin! Arthur, with whom Priscilla had had many a childhood spat! Arthur who had shown that "puppy stuff" for Priscilla, that his old aunt was always so disapprovingly sniffing at! And now, unconscious on a,——
Arthur Rankin! Arthur, with whom Priscilla had many childhood arguments! Arthur who had shown that "puppy love" to Priscilla, which his old aunt was always so disapprovingly judging! And now, unconscious on a,——
With a murmuring of sympathy from that sorrowing public, now dissolving, as all crowds do, Priscilla had a quick, comforting thought: "Kathlyn is working at that hospital!"
With a soft murmur of sympathy from the grieving crowd, which was now breaking up, Priscilla had a sudden, reassuring thought: "Kathlyn is working at that hospital!"
Kathlyn had known Arthur as long as Priscilla had; and Kathlyn's famous ability would——
Kathlyn had known Arthur just as long as Priscilla had; and Kathlyn's well-known talent would——
So our panting and worrying girl was hurrying along through Broadway's turning and inquiring crowds to that big hospital which our Organization of Youth had had built. And now Arthur was going, for not long, possibly, but, still possibly for——
So our anxious and breathless girl was rushing through the busy, twisting crowds of Broadway to that big hospital our Youth Organization had built. And now Arthur was leaving, maybe not for long, but possibly for——
* * * *
* * * *
It was midnight in that big still building. Old Doctor Wilkins stood by Arthur's cot; Priscilla, sobbing pitifully, was waiting in a corridor, with Lady Standish giving what comfort a woman could. Lady Standish, who took in dogs, cats, rabbits or any living thing that was hurt, sick or lost; Lady Standish, donor of four thousand dollars for our big Zoo; Lady Standish, kindly savior of Clancy's and Dowd's "Big Four," now waiting, without ability to aid a human animal. Finally, Doctor Wilkins, coming out, said:—
It was midnight in that large, quiet building. Old Doctor Wilkins stood by Arthur's bed; Priscilla, crying uncontrollably, was waiting in the hallway, with Lady Standish trying her best to comfort her. Lady Standish, who took in dogs, cats, rabbits, or any living creature that was hurt, sick, or lost; Lady Standish, donor of four thousand dollars for our large Zoo; Lady Standish, the kind savior of Clancy's and Dowd's "Big Four," was now waiting, unable to help a human being. Finally, Doctor Wilkins came out and said:—
"Kathlyn says no sign of blood contamination, but vitality low; badly low; sinking, I think. Railroad trip almost too much for him. Looks bad."
"Kathlyn says there's no sign of blood contamination, but his vitality is low; really low; he's sinking, I think. The train ride was almost too much for him. Looks bad."
But, at this instant, an assistant, calling Wilkins, said Arthur was coming out of his coma; and was murmuring "about a woman known as Priscilla. Do you know anybody by——?"
But at that moment, an assistant calling for Wilkins said that Arthur was coming out of his coma and was murmuring "about a woman named Priscilla. Do you know anyone by——?"
With a racking sob, Priscilla shot through that door, Lady Standish quickly following. Arthur, picking up, a bit, from Priscilla's soft, oh, so soft and loving crooning and patting, took that fond hand and—sank back! Doctor Wilkins, looking knowingly at Priscilla, said:—
With a deep sob, Priscilla rushed through that door, with Lady Standish following closely behind. Arthur, catching a bit of Priscilla's gentle, oh, so gentle and affectionate murmurs and touches, took that loving hand and—leaned back! Doctor Wilkins, glancing knowingly at Priscilla, said:—
"If it is as I think, you two had had thoughts of—"
"If it’s what I think, you two were thinking about—"
A vigorous nod from Priscilla, and an approving look from Lady Standish, and Doctor Wilkins said:—
A strong nod from Priscilla and a nod of approval from Lady Standish, and Doctor Wilkins said:—
"Hm-m-m! It should occur right now! Or,——"
"Hmm! It should happen right now! Or,——"
"... you for my lawful husband, until ..."
"... you for my legal husband, until ..."
* * * *
* * * *
Doctor Wilkins, going out with Priscilla, now trying, oh, so hard for control; with grand, charming, loving Kathlyn, arm in arm, said:—
Doctor Wilkins, going out with Priscilla, was now trying, oh, so hard for control; with grand, charming, loving Kathlyn, arm in arm, said:—
"That joy will pull him through. Boys, at war, so far away, will naturally droop, both in body and mind, from lack of a particular girl's snuggling and cuddling. So just wait until Kathlyn finds out all about his condition; and good food, with this happy culmination of a childhood infatuation, will put him in first-class condition, if no complications show up."
"That joy will help him get through. Boys at war, so far away, will naturally feel down, both physically and mentally, because they miss a special girl's warmth and affection. Just wait until Kathlyn learns about what he's going through; with good food and this happy ending to a childhood crush, he’ll be in top shape, as long as there are no complications."
Ah! What an important part of a city's institutions a hospital is! What a comfort to all, to know that, should injury or any ailing condition of man, woman or child occur without warning, anybody can, simply through phoning find quick transportation at his door; and, with angrily clanging gongs, or high-pitch whistlings obtaining a "right of way" through all traffic, that institution's doors will swing apart, assistants will quickly surround that cot, and an ability for doing anything that Man can do is at hand. You know, almost daily, of capitalists of philanthropic mold, donating vast sums to a town or an association; but, in your historian's mind, no donation can do so much good as that which builds, or maintains hospitalization for all. A library, a school, a boys' or girls' club, a vacation facility, a "chair" of this or that in an institution of instruction,—all do much to build up a community. Both doctoring as a study for a young man, and nursing for a girl form most important parts of Mankind's activity.
Ah! What an important part of a city's institutions a hospital is! What a comfort for everyone to know that if an injury or any health issue arises unexpectedly, anyone can just make a phone call and get quick transportation right to their door; and with loudly ringing sirens or high-pitched whistles getting a "right of way" through all the traffic, that hospital's doors will swing open, and staff will quickly surround that stretcher, ready to provide everything that human skills can offer. You hear almost daily about wealthy philanthropists donating large sums to a town or organization; but in your historian's mind, no donation can do as much good as one that builds or maintains healthcare for everyone. A library, a school, a boys' or girls' club, a vacation spot, a "chair" for various studies in an educational institution—all contribute greatly to strengthening a community. Both studying to be a doctor and training for nursing are crucial parts of humanity's endeavors.
And so, just four months from that awful, but also happy day, Arthur Rankin sat in a hammock with Priscilla, on Lady Standish's porch, with four small Rankins playing around; or was walking around that back yard full of cats, dogs, rabbits, and so on, with no thought of soap box orations in his mind.
And so, just four months after that terrible yet joyful day, Arthur Rankin was sitting in a hammock with Priscilla on Lady Standish's porch, with four little Rankins playing nearby; or he was wandering around the backyard filled with cats, dogs, rabbits, and more, without a single thought of giving a speech in his mind.
XXXI
On a grand autumn morning Branton Hills' "Post" boys ran shouting down Broadway, showing in half-foot wording: "FIGHTING STOPS!! HISTORY'S MOST DISASTROUS WAR IS HISTORY NOW!!!" and again, Branton Hills stood stock still. But only for an instant; for soon, it was, in all minds:—
On a chilly fall morning, the "Post" boys of Branton Hills ran down Broadway, shouting in big letters: "FIGHTING STOPS!! HISTORY'S MOST DISASTROUS WAR IS OVER!!!" and once more, Branton Hills stood still. But only for a moment; because soon, in everyone's minds:—
"Thank God!! Oh, ring your loud church clarions! Blow your factory blasts! Shout! Cry! Sing! Play, you bands! Burst your drums! Crack your cymbals!"
"Thank God!! Oh, ring your loud church bells! Blow your factory horns! Shout! Cry! Sing! Play, you bands! Bang your drums! Smash your cymbals!"
Ah, what a sight on Broadway! Shop girls pouring out! Shop janitors boarding up big glass windows against a surging mob! And, (sh-h-h-h) many a church having in its still sanctity a woman or girl at its altar rail.
Ah, what a scene on Broadway! Store employees rushing out! Janitors boarding up big glass windows against a crowd! And, (sh-h-h-h) many churches still have a woman or girl at their altar rail.
Months, months, months! Branton Hills was again at its big railroad station, its Municipal Band playing our grand National air, as a long troop train, a solid mass of bunting, was snorting noisily in. And, amidst that outpouring flood of Branton Hills boys, Lady Gadsby, Nancy, Kathlyn and His Honor found Bill, Julius, Frank and John. Sarah was just "going all apart" in Paul's arms, with Virginia swooning in Harold's.
Months, months, months! Branton Hills was back at its big train station, with its Municipal Band playing our grand National anthem, as a long troop train, a massive display of bunting, came rumbling in. And, amidst the excited crowd of Branton Hills boys, Lady Gadsby, Nancy, Kathlyn, and His Honor found Bill, Julius, Frank, and John. Sarah was just "falling apart" in Paul's arms, with Virginia fainting in Harold's.
On old Lady Flanagan's porch sat Mary Antor; for, having had no word from Norman for months, this grand young Salvation Army lass was in sad, sad doubt. But soon, as that shouting mob was drifting away, and happy family groups walking citywards, a khaki-clad lad, hurrying to old Lady Flanagan's cabin, and jumping that low, ivy-clad wall, had Mary, sobbing and laughing, in his arms. No. It wasn't Norman.
On old Lady Flanagan's porch sat Mary Antor; because she hadn’t heard from Norman in months, this proud young Salvation Army girl was filled with deep uncertainty. But soon, as the raucous crowd was dispersing and cheerful families headed toward the city, a khaki-clad guy rushed to old Lady Flanagan's cabin, leaped over the low, ivy-covered wall, and had Mary, both crying and laughing, in his arms. No, it wasn't Norman.
XXXII
A crowd was standing around in City Park, for a baby was missing. Patrol cars roaring around Branton Hills; many a woman hunting around through sympathy; kidnapping rumors flying around. His Honor was out of town; but on landing at our railroad station, and finding patrol cars drawn up at City Park, saw, in that crowd's midst, a tiny girl, of about six, with a bunch of big shouting patrol officers, asking:—
A crowd gathered gathered in City Park because a baby was missing. Patrol cars zoomed around Branton Hills; many women were searching the area out of sympathy; rumors of kidnapping were spreading. The mayor was out of town, but upon arriving at our train station and seeing patrol cars parked at City Park, he noticed, in the middle of the crowd, a small girl, about six years old, surrounded by a group of loud patrol officers, asking:—
"Who took that baby?"
"Who took the baby?"
"Did you do it?"
"Did you complete it?"
"Which way did it go?"
"Which way did it go?"
"How long ago did you miss it?"
"How long ago did you let it slip by?"
"Say, kiddo!! Why don't you talk?"
"Hey, kiddo! Why aren't you talking?"
An adult brain can stand a lot of such shouting, but a baby's is not in that class; so, totally dumb, and shaking with fright, this tot stood, thumb in mouth, and two big brown baby orbs just starting to grow moist, as His Honor, pushing in, said:
An adult brain can handle a lot of yelling, but a baby's can't; so, completely bewildered and trembling with fear, this little one stood there, thumb in mouth, and two big brown eyes starting to fill with tears, as His Honor, coming in, said:
"Wait a bit!!" and that bunch in uniform, knowing him, got up and Gadsby sat down on a rock, saying:—
"Wait a minute!!" and that group in uniform, recognizing him, got up and Gadsby sat down on a rock, saying:—
"That's right," said a big, husky patrolman. "If anybody living knows kids, it's you, sir."
"That's right," said a big, strong officer. "If anyone knows kids, it's you, sir."
So, as things got around to normal, His Honor, now sitting flat on City Park's smooth lawn, said, jovially:—
So, as things got back to normal, His Honor, now sitting comfortably on City Park's smooth lawn, said cheerfully:—
"Hulloa."
"Hello."
A big gulping sob in a tiny bosom—didn't gulp; and a grin ran around a small mouth, as our young lady said:—
A big, shaky sob from a small chest—didn't actually sob; and a smile spread across a little face as our young lady said:—
"So many big cops! O-o-o! I got afraid!"
"So many big cops! Oh no! I got scared!"
"I know, darling; but no big cops will shout at you now. I don't shout at tiny girls, do I?"
"I know, sweetheart; but no big cops are going to yell at you now. I don’t yell at little girls, do I?"
"No, sir; but if folks do shout, I go all woozy."
"No, sir; but when people shout, I get all dizzy."
"Woozy? Woozy? Ha, ha! I'll look that up in a big book. But what's all this fuss about? Is it about a baby?"
"Woozy? Woozy? Haha! I'll check that out in a big book. But what's all this fuss about? Is it about a baby?"
A vigorous nodding of a bunch of brown curls.
A lively nodding of a bunch of brown curls.
"What? Fussing about a baby? A baby is too small to fuss about."
"What? Worrying over a baby? A baby is too little to worry about."
"O-o-o-o! It isn't!!"
"O-o-o-o! It isn't!!"
"No?"
"Nope?"
"No, sir. I fuss about my dolly, an' it's not half so big as a baby."
"No, sir. I take care of my doll, and it’s not even half the size of a baby."
"How many dolls has your girls got?"
"How many dolls do your girls have?"
"Ha, ha! Not any, now. My girls all got grown up and big."
"Ha, ha! Not anymore. My girls have all grown up and become big."
During this calm, happy talk, a patrolman, coming up, said:—
During this calm, happy conversation, a police officer approached and said:—
"Shall I stick around, Your Honor? Any kidnapping facts?"
"Should I stay, Your Honor? Any updates on the kidnapping?"
"I don't know, just now. Wait around about an hour, and drop in again."
"I don't know right now. Wait around for about an hour and check back."
So His Honor, Mayor of Branton Hills, and Childhood sat on that grassy lawn; a tiny tot making daisy chains, grass rings, and thrilling at Gadsby's story of how a boy, known as Jack, had to climb a big, big tall stalk to kill an awfully ugly giant. Finally Gadsby said:—
So the Mayor of Branton Hills and Childhood sat on that grassy lawn; a little kid making daisy chains and grass rings, getting excited by Gadsby's story about a boy named Jack who had to climb a really, really tall stalk to defeat a terribly ugly giant. Finally, Gadsby said:—
"I thought you had a baby playing with you."
"I thought you had a baby with you."
"I did."
"I did."
"Huh, it isn't playing now. Did it fly away?"
"Huh, it’s not playing now. Did it fly away?"
"Oho! No! A baby can't fly!"
"Oho! No! A baby can't fly!"
"No. That's right. But how could a baby go away from you without your knowing it?"
"No. That's true. But how could a baby leave you without you knowing?"
"It didn't. I did know it."
"It didn't. I knew that."
"I wish I had a baby to play with, right now!"
"I wish I had a baby to play with right now!"
"You can."
"You got this."
"Can I? How?"
"Can I? How do I?"
With a tiny hand on baby lips, our small lady said:—
With a little hand on baby lips, our little lady said:—
"Go look in that lilac arbor; but go soft! I think it's snoozing."
"Go check in that lilac grove; but be quiet! I think it's sleeping."
And Gadsby, going to that arbor, got a frightful shock; for it was Lillian, Nancy's baby! Not having known of this "kidnapping" as his family couldn't find him by phoning, it was a shock; for His Honor was thinking of that young woman collapsing. So, upon that patrolman coming back, as told, Gadsby said:—
And Gadsby, heading to that arbor, got a terrible shock; it was Lillian, Nancy's baby! Not knowing about this "kidnapping" since his family couldn't reach him by phone, it was a shock; because His Honor was thinking about that young woman collapsing. So, when that patrolman came back, as mentioned, Gadsby said:—
"Go and call up your station, quickly! Say that I want your Captain to notify my folks that Lillian is all right."
"Go and call your station, quickly! Tell them I need your Captain to inform my family that Lillian is okay."
"Good gosh, Your Honor!! Is this tot your grandchild?"
"Good gosh, Your Honor!! Is this kid your grandchild?"
"Grandchild or no grandchild, you dash to that box!!"
"Grandchild or not, you rush to that box!!"
XXXIII
Most of Gadsby's old Organization of Youth was still in town, though, as you know, grown up. So, on a Spring day, all of its forty boys and as many girls got most mystifying cards, saying:—
Most of Gadsby's old Organization of Youth was still in town, though, as you know, grown-up. So, on a spring day, all of its forty boys and just as many girls received some really confusing cards, saying:—
"Kindly go to Lilac Hill on May sixth, at four o'clock. IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT!!" That was all. Not a word to show its origin. No handwriting. Just a small, plain card in ordinary printing.
"Please go to Lilac Hill on May sixth at four o'clock. IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT!!" That was all. Not a word to show where it came from. No handwriting. Just a small, simple card in standard printing.
Not only that old Organization, but His Honor, Lady Gadsby, Old Tom Young, Tom Donaldson, Nina Adams, Lady Standish and Old Lady Flanagan got that odd card.
Not just that old Organization, but also His Honor, Lady Gadsby, Old Tom Young, Tom Donaldson, Nina Adams, Lady Standish, and Old Lady Flanagan received that strange card.
"Arrah! Phwat's this, anny way?" sang out that good old lady. "Is it court summons, a picnic, or a land auction? By gorry, it looks phony!"
"Wow! What’s this, anyway?" exclaimed that good old lady. "Is it a court summons, a picnic, or a land auction? Goodness, it looks fake!"
Old Tom Young, in his rocking chair, said:
Old Tom Young, sitting in his rocking chair, said:
"A card to go to Lilac Hill. It says 'important.' Ah! This Youth of today! I'll put up a dollar that I can sniff a rat in this. But my girl is all right, so I'll go."
"A card to go to Lilac Hill. It says 'important.' Ah! This kid today! I'll bet a dollar that something's off here. But my girl is fine, so I'll go."
And so it was, all around town. Nobody could fathom it.
And that's how it was all over town. No one could understand it.
Lilac Hill was as charming a spot as any that our big City Park could boast. Though known as a hill, it was but a slight knoll with surroundings of lilac shrubs, which, in May would always show a riot of bloom; this knoll sloping down to a pond, with islands, boats and aquatic plants. Lilac Hill had known many a picnic and similar outings; for Branton Hills folks, living for six days amidst bricks and asphalt, just had to go out on Sundays to this dainty knoll, living for an hour or so amongst its birds, blossoms and calm surroundings. City traffic was far away, only a faint rumbling coming to this natural sanctuary; and many a mind, and many a worn body had found a balm in its charms.
Lilac Hill was one of the most charming spots in our big City Park. Although it was called a hill, it was really just a small knoll surrounded by lilac bushes that exploded with color in May. This knoll sloped down to a pond with islands, boats, and aquatic plants. Lilac Hill had hosted many picnics and outings, because people from Branton Hills, who spent six days surrounded by bricks and asphalt, needed to escape to this lovely knoll on Sundays, enjoying an hour or so among the birds, flowers, and peaceful environment. The city traffic was far away, just a distant rumble reaching this natural refuge; and many a weary mind and body had found comfort in its beauty.
But that mystifying card! From whom was it? What was it? Why was it? "Oh, hum! Why rack brains by digging into it?" was Branton Hills' popular thought. "But,—go and find out!" That, also, was our Organization's thought as May sixth was approaching.
But that puzzling card! Who sent it? What was it? Why was it? "Oh, come on! Why stress over figuring it out?" was the common thought in Branton Hills. "But—go and find out!" That was also the sentiment of our Organization as May sixth drew near.
"My gracious!" said Nancy. "It sounds actually spooky!"
"Oh my gosh!" said Nancy. "That sounds really creepy!"
But calm, practical Kathlyn said:—
But calm, practical Kathlyn said:—
"Spooks don't hop around in daylight."
"Ghosts don't move around in the daylight."
"This, I think, is a trick by a kid or two, to show us old ducks that an 'incog' can hold out, right up to its actual consummation. I don't know a thing about what's going on; but, by golly! I'll show up; and if any fun is afloat, I'll join in, full blast."
"This, I think, is a prank by a couple of kids, trying to prove to us older folks that a 'secret' can stay hidden until it's completely revealed. I don’t know what's happening; but, damn it! I’m going to show up, and if there’s any fun going on, I'm all in."
But!!—— As our Organization boys and girls, and Branton Hills folks got to Lilac Hill, not a thing was found giving any indication that anything out of ordinary was to occur! Just that calm, charming knoll, with its lilacs, oaks, and happy vista out across Branton Hills' hill districts! What is this, anyway? A hoax? But all sat down, talking in a big group, until, at just four o'clock,—look! A stir, out back of that island boat landing! What? On that pond? This card said Lilac Hill! But I said that a stir was occurring in back of that boat landing, with its small shack for storing oars and such. If our big crowd was laughing and talking up to now, it quit! And quit mighty quickly, too! If you want to hold a crowd, just mystify it. Old Lady Flanagan was starting to shout about "this phony stuff," but Old Man Flanagan said:—
But!!—— As our Organization boys and girls, and Branton Hills folks arrived at Lilac Hill, nothing was found indicating that anything unusual was about to happen! Just that calm, charming hill, with its lilacs, oaks, and beautiful view across Branton Hills' neighborhoods! What is this, anyway? A joke? Everyone sat down, chatting in a big group, until, at exactly four o'clock,—look! There was some movement behind that island boat landing! What? On that pond? This card said Lilac Hill! But I noticed that there was a stir happening behind that boat landing, with its small shed for storing paddles and such. If our large crowd was laughing and talking until now, it stopped! And it stopped pretty quickly, too! If you want to grab a crowd's attention, just create some mystery. Old Lady Flanagan was starting to shout about "this fake stuff," but Old Man Flanagan said:—
"Shut up! You ain't part of this show!"
"Shut up! You're not part of this show!"
Nancy was actually hopping up and down, but Kathlyn stood calmly watching; for this studious girl, way up in an "ology" or two, knows that, by slow, thoughtful watching, you can gain much, as against working up a wild, panicky condition. Lady Gadsby said again and again: "What is going on?" but Nina Adams said: "You ought to know that today, anything can——"
Nancy was actually jumping up and down, but Kathlyn stood there calmly watching; because this serious girl, deep into a couple of "ologies," knows that by observing carefully, you can learn a lot, rather than getting caught up in a frenzied panic. Lady Gadsby kept asking, "What is happening?" but Nina Adams replied, "You should know that today, anything can——"
But look again!! From in back of that boat landing, a big fairy float is coming! Slowly,—slowly—slowly; a cabin amidships, just dripping with lilacs, as still and noncommittal as old Gibraltar. Slowly, on and on it is coming; finally stopping right at that spot upon which our group is standing; forty boys, forty girls, and a big mob, all as still as a church. What is it, anyway? Is anybody in it? Not a sign of it. But wait! Aha! It has an occupant, for, coming out of that lilac glory is——Parson Brown!! Parson Brown? What was Parson Brown in that cabin for? Aha!! A lilac spray is moving; and, as our groups stand stock still, look! Lucy Donaldson is coming out! Oh! What a vision of girlish joy and glory!! And—and—and, ah! That lilac spray is moving again! Hulloa! Bill Gadsby is coming out!!
But look again!! From behind that boat landing, a big fairy float is coming! Slowly,—slowly—slowly; a cabin in the middle, just dripping with lilacs, as still and indifferent as old Gibraltar. Slowly, it's moving on and on; finally stopping right at the spot where our group is standing; forty boys, forty girls, and a big crowd, all as still as a church. What is it, anyway? Is there anyone in it? Not a sign of it. But wait! Aha! It has an occupant, for coming out of that lilac paradise is——Parson Brown!! Parson Brown? What was Parson Brown doing in that cabin? Aha!! A lilac spray is moving; and, as our groups stand frozen, look! Lucy Donaldson is coming out! Oh! What a vision of girlish joy and glory!! And—and—and, ah! That lilac spray is moving again! Hey! Bill Gadsby is coming out!!
A Spring sun was slowly approaching its horizonward droop, shooting rays of gold down onto our gasping crowd, as Parson Brown said:—
A spring sun was slowly sinking towards the horizon, casting golden rays down on our panting crowd, as Parson Brown said:—
"William Gadsby, do you...?"
"William Gadsby, do you...?"
"I do."
"I do."
"And Lucy Donaldson, do you...?"
"And Lucy Donaldson, do you...?"
It didn't last long. Just a word or two; a burst of music of a famous march by John Smith, Branton Hills' organist, in that cabin with a small piano; just a—— But that crowd couldn't wait for that! With a whoop His Honor sprang into that pond, wading swiftly to board that fairy craft; and in an instant Nancy was following him, splashing frantically along, and scrambling aboard to almost floor Bill with a gigantic hug as His Honor shook Bill's hand, with a loving arm about Lucy. Old Lady Flanagan was shouting wildly:—
It didn't last long. Just a word or two; a quick tune from a famous march by John Smith, Branton Hills' organist, in that cabin with a small piano; just a—— But that crowd couldn't wait for that! With a shout, the Mayor jumped into that pond, wading quickly to get on that little boat; and in a flash, Nancy was right behind him, splashing around and practically knocking Bill over with a huge hug as the Mayor shook Bill's hand, with an affectionate arm around Lucy. Old Lady Flanagan was yelling excitedly:—
"Whoops! Whoops! By gorra! This young gang of today is a smart boonch!" and His Honor said:—
"Whoops! Whoops! Wow! This young group today is a clever bunch!" and His Honor said:—
"Ha, ha! I didn't know a thing about this! Bill's a smart chap!" And Old Tom Donaldson, grabbing happy, laughing, blushing, palpitating Lucy as soon as that young lady was on dry land, said:—
"Ha, ha! I had no idea about any of this! Bill's a clever guy!" And Old Tom Donaldson, taking cheerful, laughing, blushing, excited Lucy as soon as she was on solid ground, said:—
"Say! You sly young chick! Why didn't you notify your old Dad?"
"Hey! You sneaky young thing! Why didn't you tell your old Dad?"
"Why, Daddy! That would spoil all my fun!"
"Why, Dad! That would ruin all my fun!"
XXXIV
Gadsby, Clancy and Dowd "just had" to, according to unanimous opinion, go out to Lady Standish's suburban plot of ground to visit "Big Four;" Gadsby, owing to an inborn liking for all animals; Clancy and Dowd from fond association with this particular group. It was a glorious spot; high, rolling land, with a patch of cool, shady woods, and a grand vista across hill and plain, with shining ponds and rich farm lands. And did "Big Four" know Clancy and Dowd? I'll say so! And soon, with much happy whinnying and "acting up," with two big roans poking inquiring snouts in Clancy's hands, and two big blacks snuggling Gadsby and Dowd, as happy a group of Man and animals as you could wish for, was soon accompanying Lady Standish around that vast patch.
Gadsby, Clancy, and Dowd "had to," according to everyone’s agreement, visit Lady Standish’s suburban property to see "Big Four." Gadsby, because of his natural love for all animals; Clancy and Dowd, due to their fond memories with this specific group. It was a beautiful place; elevated, rolling land with a cool, shady woods, and an amazing view across hills and fields, featuring sparkling ponds and fertile farmland. And did "Big Four" know Clancy and Dowd? You bet! Soon, with lots of joyful whinnying and playful antics, two large roans nudging Clancy’s hands while two big blacks cuddled with Gadsby and Dowd, they formed as happy a bunch of humans and animals as you could imagine, happily following Lady Standish around that expansive property.
Anything that such animals could want was at hand. A bright, sparkling brook was gabbling and gurgling through a stony gully, or dropping, with many brilliant rainbows, down a tiny fall.
Anything those animals could want was right there. A bright, sparkling brook was bubbling and gurgling through a stony gully, or cascading, with many brilliant rainbows, down a small waterfall.
"Sally," said Gadsby, "you do a grand work in maintaining this spot. If Mankind, as a body, would only think as you do, that an animal has a brain, and knows good living conditions, you wouldn't find so many poor, scraggly old Dobbins plodding around our towns, dragging a cart far too big; and with a man totally without sympathy on it."
"Sally," Gadsby said, "you're doing an amazing job keeping this place up. If everyone thought like you—that animals have a brain and understand what good living conditions are—there wouldn't be so many poor, scraggly old Dobbins wandering around our towns, pulling a cart that's way too heavy; and with a man on it who has no sympathy at all."
And Lady Standish said:—
And Lady Standish said:—
"I just can't think of anybody abusing an animal; nor of allowing it to stay around, sick, hurt or hungry. I think that an animal is but a point short of human; and, having a skin varying but slightly from our own, will know as much pain from a whipping as would a human child. A blow upon any animal, if I am within sight, is almost as a blow upon my own body. You would think that, with that vast gap which Mankind is continually placing back of him in his onward march in improving this big world, Man would think, a bit, of his pals of hoof, horn and claw. But I am glad to say that, in this country, laws in many a community admit that an animal has rights. Oh, how an animal that is hurt looks up at you, John! An animal's actions can inform you if it is in pain. It don't hop and jump around as usual. No. You find a sad, crouching, cringing, small bunch of fur or hair, whining, and plainly asking you to aid it. It isn't hard to find out what is wrong, John; any man or woman who would pass by such a sight, just isn't worth knowing. I just can't withstand it! Why, I think that not only animals, but plants can know pain. I carry a drink to many a poor, thirsty growing thing; or, if it is torn up I put it kindly back, and fix its soil up as comfortably as I can. Anything that is living, John, is worthy of Man's aid."
"I just can't imagine anyone abusing an animal or letting it suffer, be sick, hurt, or hungry. I believe that an animal is just a step away from being human; and since their skin is only slightly different from ours, they feel pain from a beating just like a human child would. A blow to any animal, if I see it happen, feels almost like a blow to my own body. You would think that with the huge advancements humanity keeps making to improve this big world, people would also think a little about their fellow beings with hooves, horns, and claws. But I'm pleased to say that in this country, many communities have laws that recognize that animals have rights. Oh, how a hurt animal looks up at you, John! An animal's behavior can tell you if it's in pain. It doesn't bounce around like usual. No. Instead, you find a sad, crouching, trembling little bundle of fur or hair, whimpering and clearly asking for help. It's not hard to see what's wrong, John; anyone who can walk past such a sight just isn't worth knowing. I just can't bear it! Honestly, I think that not only animals, but plants can feel pain too. I bring water to many a thirsty little growing thing; or, if it’s been uprooted, I gently put it back and fix its soil as best I can. Anything that is living, John, deserves Man's help."
XXXV
Poor old Bill Simpkins! Nothing in this world was worth anything; nobody was right; all wrong, all wrong! Simpkins had no kin; and, not marrying, was "just plodding along," living in a small room, with no fun, no constant company, no social goal to which to look forward; and had, thus, grown into what boys call "a big, old grouch." But it wasn't all Simpkins' fault. A human mind was built for contact with similar minds. It should,—in fact,—it must think about what is going on around it; for, if it is shut up in a thick, dark, bony box of a skull, it will always stay in that condition known as "status quo;" and grow up, antagonistic to all surroundings. But Simpkins didn't want to growl and grunt. It was practically as annoying to him as to folks around him. But, as soon as that shut-up, solitary mind found anybody wanting it to do anything in confirmation of public opinion,—no! that mind would contract, as a snail in its spiral armor—and balk.
Poor Bill Simpkins! Nothing in this world seemed to matter; nobody was right; everything was wrong! Simpkins had no family, and since he never married, he was "just plodding along," living in a small room, with no fun, no regular company, and no social goals to look forward to; he had, therefore, turned into what kids call "a big, old grouch." But it wasn't entirely Simpkins' fault. A human mind is designed for interaction with other minds. It should—actually, it must—engage with what's happening around it; because if it's stuck inside a thick, dark, bony skull, it will remain stuck in that state known as "status quo" and become hostile to everything nearby. But Simpkins didn't want to grumble and complain. It was just as irritating to him as it was to those around him. However, as soon as that closed-off, lonely mind found someone expecting it to align with public opinion—no! that mind would shrink back like a snail pulling into its shell—and resist.
Lady Gadsby and His Honor, in talking about this, had thought of improving such a condition; but Simpkins was not a man to whom you could broach such a thought. It would only bring forth an outburst of sarcasm about "trying it on your own brain, first." So Branton Hills' Council always had so to word a "motion" as to, in a way, blind Simpkins as to its import. Many such a motion had a hard fight showing him its valuation as a municipal law; such as our big Hall of Natural History, our Zoo, and so on.
Lady Gadsby and His Honor, while discussing this, had thought about improving the situation, but Simpkins was not someone you could approach with such ideas. It would only lead to an outpouring of sarcasm like “try it on your own brain first.” So, the Branton Hills Council always had to phrase a “motion” in a way that would sort of obscure its true meaning from Simpkins. Many such motions faced tough challenges in showing him their worth as municipal laws, like our large Hall of Natural History, our Zoo, and so on.
Now nothing can so light up such a mind as a good laugh. Start a man laughing, good, long and loud, and his mind's grimy windows will slowly inch upward; snappy, invigorating air will rush in, and—lo! that old snarling, ugly grouch will vanish as hoar-frost in a warm Spring thaw!
Now nothing can brighten a person's mind like a good laugh. Get someone laughing, really laughing—long and loud—and the dark, grimy windows of their mind will slowly lift; fresh, invigorating air will flow in, and—voilà!—that old surly, unpleasant grumpiness will disappear like frost in a warm spring thaw!
And so it got around, on a bright Spring day, to Old Bill sitting on Gadsby's front porch; outwardly calm, and smoking a good cigar (which didn't blow up!), but, inwardly just full of snarls and growls about Branton Hills' Youth.
And so it spread around, on a sunny Spring day, Old Bill sitting on Gadsby's front porch; looking calm on the outside, smoking a nice cigar (which didn’t explode!), but inside he was just filled with frustrations and complaints about the youth of Branton Hills.
"Silly half-grown young animals, found out that two plus two is four, and thinking that all things will fit, just that way!"
"Silly young animals, figuring out that two plus two equals four, and believing that everything will work out perfectly just like that!"
Now that small girl, "of about six," who had had Nancy's baby out in City Park, was passing Gadsby's mansion, and saw Old Bill. A kid of six has, as you probably know, no formally laid-out plan for its daily activity; anything bobbing up will attract. So, with this childish instability of thought, this tiny miss ran up onto Gadsby's porch and stood in front of Old Bill, looking up at him, but saying not a word.
Now that little girl, “about six years old,” who had been with Nancy's baby out in City Park, was walking by Gadsby's mansion and saw Old Bill. A six-year-old doesn’t have a set plan for their day; anything that catches their eye will draw their attention. So, with this innocent spontaneity of thought, this tiny girl ran up onto Gadsby's porch and stood in front of Old Bill, looking up at him but not saying a word.
"Huh!" Bill just had to snort. "Looking at anything?"
"Huh!" Bill just had to snort. "Are you looking at anything?"
"No, sir."
"Nope."
"What!! Oh, that is, you think 'not much,' probably. What do you want, anyway?"
"What!! Oh, you probably think 'not much.' What do you want, anyway?"
"I want to play."
"I want to play."
"All right; run along and play."
"Okay, go for it."
"No; I want to play with you."
"No; I want to play with you."
"Pooh!! That's silly. I'm an old man. An old man can't play."
"Pooh!! That's ridiculous. I'm an old man. An old man can't play."
"Can, too. My Grandpa can."
"My grandpa can, too."
"But I'm not your Grandpa, thank my lucky stars. Run along now; I'm thinking."
"But I'm not your grandpa, thank my lucky stars. Run along now; I'm busy thinking."
"So am I."
"Same here."
"You? Huh! A kid can't think."
"You? Huh! A kid can't think."
"Ooo-o! I can!"
"Ooo-o! I can!"
"About what?"
"About what?"
"About playing with you."
"About hanging out with you."
Now Simpkins saw that this was a condition which wouldn't pass with scowling or growling, but didn't know what to do about it. Play with a kid? What? Councilman Simpkins pl——
Now Simpkins realized that this was a situation that wouldn't change with frowning or complaining, but he didn't know how to handle it. Play with a kid? What? Councilman Simpkins pl——
So this thought got to tramping round and round many a musty corridor in his mind; throwing up a window, "busting in" a door, and shoving a lot of dust and rubbish down a back stairway. Round and round it ran, until, (!!) Old Bill, slowly and surprisingly softly, said:—
So this idea kept wandering around in his head, opening windows, "breaking down" doors, and pushing a bunch of dust and junk down a back staircase. It went in circles until, (!!) Old Bill, slowly and surprisingly gently, said:—
"What do you want to play?"
"What do you want to play?"
Oh! Oh! what a victory for that tot!! What a victory for Youth!! And what a fall for grouchy, snarling Maturity!! I think that Simpkins, right at that instant, saw that bright sunlight coming in through that rising window; rising by baby hands; and from that "bust in" door. I think that Old Bill cast off, in that instant, that hard, gloomy coating of dissatisfaction which was gripping his shut-up mind. And I think,—in fact, I know,—that Old Bill Simpkins was now,—that is, was—was—was, oh, just plain happy!
Oh! Oh! what a victory for that little one!! What a victory for Youth!! And what a downfall for grouchy, snarling Maturity!! I think that Simpkins, right at that moment, saw that bright sunlight streaming in through that rising window; rising with baby hands; and from that "bust in" door. I think that Old Bill let go, in that moment, of that hard, gloomy layer of dissatisfaction that was gripping his closed-off mind. And I think,—in fact, I know,—that Old Bill Simpkins was now,—that is, was—was—was, oh, just plain happy!
"What do you want to play?"
"What do you want to play?"
"This is a lady, a-going to town."
"This is a woman, heading to town."
"Play what?"
"Play what?"
"My!! Don't you know how to play that? All right; I'll show you. Now just stick out your foot. That's it. Now I'll sit on it, so. Now you bump it up and down. Ha, ha! Ho, ho! That's it! This is a lady, a-going to town, a-going to town, a-going to town!" and as that tiny lady sang that baby song gaily and happily, Old Bill was actually laughing; and laughing uproariously, too!
"My!! Don't you know how to play that? All right; I'll show you. Now just stick out your foot. That's it. Now I'll sit on it, so. Now you bump it up and down. Ha, ha! Ho, ho! That's it! This is a lady, going to town, going to town, going to town!" And as that tiny lady sang that baby song cheerfully and happily, Old Bill was actually laughing; and laughing hysterically, too!
As this sight was occurring, His Honor and Lady Gadsby, looking out from a parlor window, Gadsby said, happily:—
As this scene unfolded, His Honor and Lady Gadsby, looking out from a parlor window, Gadsby said, happily:—
"A lady physician is working on Old Bill," causing Lady Gadsby to add:—
"A female doctor is treating Old Bill," prompting Lady Gadsby to chime in:—
"And a mighty good doctor, too."
"And a really great doctor, too."
XXXVI
It was night again. That small Salvation Army group was parading and singing. A young girl would soon start a long oration against drink. Now boys, gawking as boys always do, saw a shadowy form of a man slinking along from doorway to doorway, plainly watching this marching group, but also, plainly trying to stay out of sight. A halt, a song or two, and Mary Antor was soon walking towards Old Lady Flanagan's cabin. But!! In passing big, dark City Park, a man, rushing wildly up, wrapping that frail form in a cast-iron grip, planting kiss upon kiss upon Mary's lips, finally unwound that grip and stood stiffly in military saluting position. Mary, naturally in a bad fright, took a short, anxious, inquiring look, and instantly, all that part of City Park actually rang with a wild girlish cry:—
It was nighttime again. The small Salvation Army group was out parading and singing. A young girl was about to give a long speech against alcohol. Meanwhile, a few boys, as boys do, spotted a guy lurking from doorway to doorway, clearly watching the group but also trying to stay hidden. After a pause and a couple of songs, Mary Antor started walking toward Old Lady Flanagan's cabin. But as she passed by the large, dark City Park, a man came rushing up, seizing her in a firm embrace, showering kisses on her lips, before finally letting go and standing at attention as if in military salute. Mary, understandably startled, took a quick, nervous look, and suddenly, that part of City Park erupted with a high-pitched cry:—
"Norman!!!"
"Norman!!!"
"Hulloa, kiddo! Just got in, half an hour ago, on a small troop train; and, by luck, saw you marching in that group. Wow!! But you do look grand!"
"Hellooo, kiddo! Just got in a half hour ago on a small troop train; and, luckily, saw you marching in that group. Wow!! But you look awesome!"
"And you look grand, too, Norman; but—but—but—not drunk?"
"And you look great, too, Norman; but—but—but—not drunk?"
* * * *
* * * *
On old Lady Flanagan's porch Mary sat way past midnight with, no, not with Norman, only, but with two khaki-clad boys; and it was miraculous that that small, loving childish bosom could hold so much joy! Old Lady Flanagan in nightgown and cap, looking down a front stairway, (and Old Man Flanagan, also in nightgown and cap, and also looking down), said:—
On old Lady Flanagan's porch, Mary sat way past midnight, not just with Norman, but with two boys in khaki; it was incredible that such a small, loving heart could hold so much joy! Old Lady Flanagan, in her nightgown and cap, looked down the front stairs, (and Old Man Flanagan, also in his nightgown and cap, was looking down too), said:—
"Arrah!! Go wan oop stairs, you snoopin' varmit!"
"Arrah!! Go upstairs, you nosy pest!"
"Who's a snoopin' varmint? Not you, of——"
"Who's a nosy pest? Not you, of——"
"Go wan oop, I say! By golly! That darlin' girl has found a mountain of gold wid Norman an'——"
"Go on up, I say! Wow! That darling girl has found a mountain of gold with Norman and——"
"Who's that wid Norman? That guy's around, nights, now, as—"
"Who’s that with Norman? That guy’s hanging around at night now, as—"
"Say, you!! Do you go oop? Or do I swat you?"
"Hey, you!! Do you go out? Or should I smack you?"
XXXVII
Bill Gadsby, going abroad, naturally wasn't on that ballot for Councilman Antor's chair; but this history shows that that mouthy antagonist who had had so much to say about "pink satin ribbons" and "vanilla sprays," didn't win. No. A first class man got that position; old Tom Young, Sarah's Dad, as good an old soul as any in all Branton Hills. And was Sarah happy! Oh, my! And was Sarah proud! Two "oh, mys!" Tiny Nancy, loyal as always to Bill, said:—
Bill Gadsby, leaving abroad, naturally wasn’t on that ballot for Councilman Antor’s seat; but this story shows that the loudmouth opponent who had so much to say about “pink satin ribbons” and “vanilla sprays” didn’t win. No. A top-notch guy got that position; old Tom Young, Sarah’s dad, as good a guy as any in all Branton Hills. And was Sarah happy! Oh, my! And was Sarah proud! Two “oh, mys!” Tiny Nancy, loyal as always to Bill, said:—
"Bill was as good as in, for nobody, knowing my Bill would ballot against him; and Bill would hold that honor now, but for 'Old Glory's' calling."
"Bill was basically in, because nobody who knew my Bill would vote against him; and Bill would hold that honor now, if it weren't for 'Old Glory's' call."
That's right, Nancy darling, you stick up for Bill; for, though Bill didn't know it until many months, a citation "for outstanding and valorous conduct in action" was soon to go through our National Printing Plant! For a "city fop" or an "outdoor part of a tailor shop" is not always a boob, you know.
That's right, Nancy darling, you defend Bill; because, even though Bill didn’t realize it for several months, a citation "for outstanding and valorous conduct in action" was about to be issued from our National Printing Plant! Just because someone is a "city guy" or works in a "tailor shop" doesn't mean they're not smart, you know.
Gadsby's mansion was again brightly aglow that night, that "World War flag" not hanging in his window now. And so, on Labor Day night, Lady Gadsby and His Honor, sitting in his parlor, thought that a light footfall was sounding out on his porch. As Gadsby got up to find out about it, Julius, coming in with a young girl, stood looking, grinningly, at Lady Gadsby; who, jumping up, said, happily:—
Gadsby's mansion was once again brightly lit that night, the "World War flag" no longer hanging in his window. So, on Labor Day night, Lady Gadsby and His Honor, sitting in his parlor, thought they heard soft footsteps on the porch. As Gadsby stood up to check it out, Julius entered with a young girl, grinning at Lady Gadsby, who immediately jumped up and said, happily:—
"Why! Mary Antor!!"
"Why! Mary Antor!!"
"No, Ma," said Julius. "This is not Mary Antor."
"No, Mom," said Julius. "This isn't Mary Antor."
"Not Mary Antor? Why, Julius, I think I know M——"
"Not Mary Antor? Why, Julius, I think I know M——"
"Not Mary Antor, Ma, but Mary Gadsby!"
"Not Mary Antor, Mom, but Mary Gadsby!"
"Oh! Oh! My darling girl!!" and half crying and half laughing, Mary was snuggling in Lady Gadsby's arms; and His Honor, coming in, saying:—
"Oh! Oh! My darling girl!!" Half crying and half laughing, Mary was snuggling in Lady Gadsby's arms; and His Honor, coming in, said:—
"By golly! That young cuss, Cupid, is mighty busy around this town! Why, I can hardly walk two blocks along Broadway, without a young girl, who has 'grown up in a night,' stopping, and saying: 'Mayor Gadsby, this is my husband.' But I'll say that Cupid's markmanship has always brought about happy matings. And, Mary, you darling kid, your sad, dark shadows will gradually pass; and Lady Gadsby and I will try to bring you loads and loads of comfort. But, say, you, Julius! I didn't know that you and Mary——"
"Wow! That little rascal, Cupid, is really working hard around this town! I can barely walk two blocks down Broadway without a young girl, who seems to have 'grown up overnight,' stopping to say, 'Mayor Gadsby, this is my husband.' But I have to say that Cupid's aim has always led to happy unions. And, Mary, you sweet girl, your sad, dark times will fade away; Lady Gadsby and I will do our best to bring you lots and lots of comfort. But, hey, you, Julius! I had no idea that you and Mary——"
"Why, no; how should I? I don't go snooping around anybody's porch."
"Why would I? I don’t go snooping around anyone's porch."
"Ha, ha, Dad," said Julius; "no snooping would find that out. Mary and I had had this plan so long ago that I didn't know a World War was coming!"
"Ha, ha, Dad," said Julius; "no amount of snooping would figure that out. Mary and I came up with this plan so long ago that I didn't even know a World War was on the way!"
XXXVIII
As a small boy, your historian was told that "A king was in his counting room, a-counting out his cash," or similar words, which told, practically, of his taking account of stock. So, also, Gadsby was on his thinking-porch, a-thinking of his past. (A mighty good thing to do, too; if anybody should ask you!)
As a small boy, your historian was told that "A king was in his counting room, counting his money," or similar words, which practically described him taking stock. So, Gadsby was on his thinking porch, reflecting on his past. (A really good thing to do, too; if anyone asks you!)
"If," said His Honor, "you can't find any fun during childhood, you naturally won't look for it as you grow up to maturity. You will grow 'hard,' and look upon fun as foolish. Also, if you don't furnish fun for a child, don't look for it to grow up bright, happy and loving. So, always put in a child's path an opportunity to watch, talk about, and know, as many good things as you can."
"If," said His Honor, "if you can't find any fun while you're a kid, you won't seek it out as you get older. You'll become 'hard' and see fun as something silly. Plus, if you don't provide joy for a child, don't expect them to grow up bright, happy, and loving. So, always give a child chances to observe, engage in conversation about, and learn as many good things as possible."
Lady Gadsby, from a parlor window, said:
Lady Gadsby, from a living room window, said:
"Practicing for a stumping tour, or a political pow-wow?"
"Rehearsing for a stumping tour, or a political meeting?"
"Ha, ha! No. Just thinking out loud."
"Ha, ha! No. Just speaking my mind."
So, as thinking cannot hurt anybody, His Honor was soon going on:—
So, since thinking can't hurt anyone, His Honor quickly continued:—
"Affairs which look small or absurd to a full-grown man may loom up as big as a mountain to a child; and you shouldn't allow a fact that you saw a thing 'so much that I am sick of it,' to turn you away from an inquiring child. You wasn't sick of it, on that far-past day on which you first saw it. I always look back, happily and proudly, to taking a small girl to our City Florist's big glass building; to a group at our Night Court; a group finding out about dispatching our mail; and our circus! Boy! That was fun! Our awarding diplomas at City Hall; tiny Marian at our airport's inauguration; our Manual Training School graduation. All that did a big lot toward showing Youth that this big world is 'not half bad,' if adults will but watch, aid, and coach. And I will not stand anybody's snapping at a child! Particularly a tiny tot. If you think that you must snap, snap at a child so big as to snap back. I don't sanction 'talking back' to adults, but, ha, ha! I did find a grand, big wallop in Marian's April Fool cigar! Woo! Did Old Bill jump!! But that did no harm, and a sad young mind found a way to 'match things up' with an antagonist. Now, just stand a child up against your body. How tall is it? Possibly only up to your hip. Still, a man,—or an animal thinking that it is a man—will slap, whip, or viciously yank an arm of so frail, so soft a tiny body! That is what I call a coward!! By golly! almost a criminal! If a tot is what you call naughty, (and no child voluntarily is,) why not lift that young body up onto your lap, and talk—don't shout—about what it just did? Shouting gains nothing with a tot. Man can shout at Man, at dogs, and at farm animals; but a man who shouts at a child is, at that instant, sinking in his own muck of bullyism; and bullyism is a sin, if anything in this world is. Ah! Youth! You glorious dawn of Mankind! You bright, happy, glowing morning Sun; not at full brilliancy of noon, I know, but unavoidably on your way! Youth! How I do thrill at taking your warm, soft hand; walking with you; talking with you; but, most important of all, laughing with you! That is Man's pathway to glory. A man who drops blossoms in passing, will carry joy to folks along his way; a man who drops crumbs will also do a kindly act; but a man who drops kind words to a sobbing child will find his joy continuing for many a day; for blossoms will dry up; crumbs may blow away; but a kind word to a child may start a blossom growing in that young mind, which will so far surpass what an unkindly man might drop, as an orchid will surpass a wisp of grass. Just stop a bit and look back at your footprints along your past pathway. Did you put many humps in that soil which a small child might trip on? Did you angrily slam a door, which might so jolt a high-strung tot as to bring on nights and nights of insomnia? Did you so constantly snarl at it that it don't want you around? In fact, did you put anything in that back-path of yours which could bring sorrow to a child? Or start its distrust of you, as its rightful guardian? If so, go back right now, man, and fix up such spots by kindly acts from now on. Or, jump into a pond, and don't crawl out again!! For nobody wants you around!"
"Things that seem small or silly to an adult can appear huge to a child; and you shouldn't let the fact that you’ve seen something so often that you’re tired of it, turn you away from a curious child. You weren’t tired of it on that long-ago day when you first saw it. I always look back fondly and proudly at taking a little girl to our City Florist's big glass building; to a gathering at our Night Court; a group learning about sending our mail; and our circus! Wow! That was fun! Our awarding diplomas at City Hall; tiny Marian at our airport's opening; our Manual Training School graduation. All of that did a lot to show young people that this big world is 'not half bad,' if adults will just watch, help, and guide. And I will not stand for anyone snapping at a child! Especially a little one. If you think you must snap, snap at a child big enough to snap back. I don’t approve of ‘talking back’ to adults, but, ha, ha! I did find a great big whack in Marian's April Fool cigar! Wow! Did Old Bill jump!! But that did no harm, and a sad young mind found a way to deal with an opponent. Now, just hold a child up against you. How tall is it? Maybe only up to your hip. Yet, a man—or an animal thinking it’s a man—will slap, whip, or harshly yank the arm of such a frail, soft little body! That is what I call a coward!! By golly! Almost a criminal! If a kid is what you consider naughty (and no child behaves that way on purpose), why not lift that little one onto your lap and talk—don’t shout—about what it just did? Shouting accomplishes nothing with a little one. A man can shout at other men, at dogs, and at farm animals; but a man who shouts at a child, at that moment, is sinking into his own bullying; and bullying is a sin, if anything in this world is. Ah! Youth! You glorious dawn of Humanity! You bright, happy, glowing morning Sun; not at full brightness of noon, I know, but undeniably on your way! Youth! How I thrill at taking your warm, soft hand; walking with you; talking with you; but, most importantly, laughing with you! That is Man's pathway to glory. A man who drops blossoms in passing will bring joy to people along his way; a man who drops crumbs will also do a good deed; but a man who drops kind words to a crying child will find his joy continuing for many days; for blossoms will wilt; crumbs may blow away; but a kind word to a child can start a blossom growing in that young mind, far surpassing what an unkind man might drop, just as an orchid beats a blade of grass. Just take a moment to look back at your footprints along your past path. Did you create many bumps in that ground which a small child might trip on? Did you angrily slam a door, which could jolt a sensitive little one, leading to nights and nights of sleeplessness? Did you constantly snap at it so much that it doesn’t want you around? In fact, did you leave anything on that back path of yours that could cause a child sorrow? Or make it distrust you, as its rightful guardian? If so, go back right now, man, and fix those spots with kind actions from now on. Or, jump into a pond, and don’t crawl out again!! Because nobody wants you around!"
Lady Gadsby, as this oration was wafting off amongst lilac shrubs, and across soft, warm lawns, had sat, also thinking; finally coming out onto that ivy-bound porch, and sitting down by His Honor, saying:—
Lady Gadsby, as this speech floated through the lilac bushes and across the soft, warm lawns, sat thinking as well; eventually coming out onto that ivy-covered porch and sitting down beside His Honor, saying:—
"That was just grand, John, but I was thinking along a path varying a bit from that. You know that Man's brain is actually all of him. All parts of his body, as you follow down from his brain, act simply as aids to it. His nostrils bring him air; his mouth is for masticating his food; his hands and limbs furnish ability for manipulation and locomotion; and his lungs, stomach and all inward organs function only for that brain. If you look at a crowd you say that you saw lots of folks: but if you look at a man bathing in a pond; and if that man sank until only that part from his brow upward was in sight, you might say that you saw nobody; only a man's scalp. But you actually saw a man, for a man is only as big as that part still in sight. Now a child's skull, naturally, is not so big as a man's; so its brain has no room for all that vast mass of thoughts which adult brains contain. It is, so to say, in a small room. But, as days and months go by, that room will push its walls outward, and that young brain gradually fill up all that additional room. So, looking for calm, cool thinking in a child is as silly as looking for big, juicy plums amongst frail spring blossoms. Why, oh, why don't folks think of that? You know what foolish sounding things Julius was always asking, as a child. 'How can just rubbing a match light it?' 'Why is it dark at night?' 'Why can't a baby talk?' But, you and I, John, didn't laugh at him. No, not for an instant. And now look at our Julius and our Kathlyn; both famous, just through all that asking; and our aid. John, God could put Man into this world, full-grown. But God don't do so; for God knows that, without a tiny hand to hold, a tiny foot to pat, tiny lips to kiss, and a tiny, warm, wriggling body to hug, Man would know nothing but work."
"That was great, John, but I was thinking a bit differently. You know that a person's brain is the essence of who they are. All parts of their body, as you trace down from the brain, serve just as support for it. Their nostrils bring in air; their mouth is for chewing food; their hands and limbs provide the ability to manipulate and move; and their lungs, stomach, and all internal organs exist solely for that brain. When you look at a crowd, you say you see a lot of people, but if you see a man bathing in a pond and he sinks until only the top part of his head is visible, you might say you saw nobody; just a man's scalp. But you actually saw a man, because a man is only as significant as that part still in view. Now, a child's skull is naturally smaller than an adult's; so it doesn't have enough space for all the thoughts that adult brains can hold. It’s like being in a small room. However, as days and months pass, that room will expand, and that young brain will gradually fill all the extra space. So, expecting calm and rational thinking from a child is as ridiculous as looking for big, juicy plums among delicate spring blossoms. Why, oh, why don’t people realize that? You know what silly questions Julius used to ask as a child. 'How can just rubbing a match make it light?' 'Why is it dark at night?' 'Why can’t a baby talk?' But you and I, John, never laughed at him. Not for a second. And now look at our Julius and our Kathlyn; both successful, all because of those questions; and our role. John, God could have created Man in this world as an adult. But God doesn't do that; because God knows that, without a tiny hand to hold, a tiny foot to pat, tiny lips to kiss, and a tiny, warm, wiggling body to hug, Man would know nothing but toil."
Gadsby sat smoking for a bit, finally saying:—
Gadsby sat there smoking for a while, eventually saying:—
XXXIX
Practically all Branton Hills was talking about Councilman Simpkins; for Councilman Simpkins just didn't look natural; and Councilman Simpkins didn't act natural. In fact, Councilman Simpkins was crawling out of his old cocoon; and, though an ugly, snarling dowdy worm had lain for so long, shut up in that tight mass of wrappings around his brain, now a gay, smiling moth was coming out; for Councilman Simpkins was "dolling up!"
Everyone in Branton Hills was talking about Councilman Simpkins; because Councilman Simpkins just didn't seem natural; and Councilman Simpkins didn't behave natural. In fact, Councilman Simpkins was emerging from his old shell; and, even though an ugly, snarling dowdy worm had been trapped for so long, wrapped up in that tight mass of thoughts around his head, now a bright, smiling moth was coming out; because Councilman Simpkins was "dressing up!"
If Bill Gadsby was known as a "tailor-shop's outdoor part," Old Bill was not a part. No, Old Bill was that tailor shop—outdoor, indoor, or without a door. In fact, Councilman Simpkins now had "it," such as our films talk about so much today.
If Bill Gadsby was known as the “outdoor section of a tailor shop,” Old Bill wasn't just a section. No, Old Bill was that tailor shop—outdoor, indoor, or with no door at all. In fact, Councilman Simpkins now had “it,” like our movies talk about so much today.
But Simpkins' outfit was not flashy or "loud." Suits of good cloth, hats of stylish form, always a bright carnation "just south of his chin," boots always glossy, and a smart, springy walk, had all Broadway gasping as this Apollo-vision swung jauntily along. Nancy, happy, giggling Nancy, was "all of a grin" about this magic transformation; and, with that old, inborn instinct of womanhood, told Lucy:—
But Simpkins' style wasn't over-the-top or flashy. He wore well-made suits, stylish hats, always had a bright carnation just below his chin, boots that were always polished, and a lively, springy walk that left everyone on Broadway in awe as he confidently strolled by. Nancy, cheerful and giggling, couldn’t help but grin at this amazing change; and, with that natural instinct that women have, she told Lucy:—
And Lucy, also a woman, said smilingly:—
And Lucy, who was also a woman, said with a smile:—
"And I'll put up a dollar and a half!"
"And I'll throw in a dollar fifty!"
But His Honor and Lady Gadsby, at such talk would look skyward, cough, and say:—
But His Honor and Lady Gadsby, at such talk, would look up at the sky, cough, and say:—
"Possibly a woman; and a mighty young woman, at that."
"Probably a woman; and a really young woman, at that."
Now, if anything will "warm up" a public, it is gossip; particularly if it is about mystifying actions of a public man; and this had soon grown to a point at which a particularly curious man or woman thought of going to Old Bill and boldly asking: "Who is it?" But, as I said, what Councilman Simpkins would say to such "butting in" was known to all Branton Hills. No. Councilman Simpkins could doll up and trot around all that that portly Solon might wish; but, so to say, a sign was always hanging from his coat front, saying:—
Now, if there's anything that can get the public's attention, it's gossip, especially when it involves the puzzling actions of a public figure. This quickly reached a point where a particularly curious man or woman considered going to Old Bill and boldly asking, "Who is it?" But, as I mentioned, everyone in Branton Hills knew how Councilman Simpkins would react to such "butting in." No. Councilman Simpkins could dress up and parade around as much as that hefty politician wanted, but, in a way, there was always a sign hanging from his coat that said:—
"Hands off!!"
"Hands off!"
* * * *
* * * *
Nina Adams and Virginia sat on Gadsby's porch with Nancy and Kathlyn; and Old Bill was up as a topic. Virginia, constantly smiling and inwardly chuckling, hadn't much to say about our frisky Councilman; and Nancy and Kathlyn couldn't fathom why. But Nina, not so backward, said:
Nina Adams and Virginia sat on Gadsby's porch with Nancy and Kathlyn; and Old Bill was the topic of conversation. Virginia, always smiling and quietly laughing, didn't have much to say about our frisky Councilman; and Nancy and Kathlyn couldn't understand why. But Nina, not holding back, said:
"Pffft! If a man wants to throw old clothing away and buy stylish outfits, what affair is it, but his own? It isn't right so to pick out a man, and turn him into a laughing stock of a city. Old Bill isn't a bad sort; possibly born grouchy; but if a grouchy man or woman, (and I know a bunch of that class in this town!) can pull out of it, and laugh, and find a bit of joy in living, I think it is an occasion for congratulations, not booing."
"Pffft! If a guy wants to get rid of old clothes and buy stylish outfits, what’s it to anyone else? It’s not right to single out a man and turn him into a laughingstock of the city. Old Bill isn’t a bad guy; he might just be a bit grumpy. But if a grumpy man or woman (and I know a bunch of them in this town!) can pull themselves out of it, laugh, and find some joy in life, I think that’s something to celebrate, not ridicule."
"Oh," said Kathlyn, "I don't think anybody is booing Councilman Simpkins. But you know that any showing of such an innovation is apt to start gossip. Just why, I don't know. It, though, is a trait of Mankind only. Animals don't 'bloom' out so abruptly. You can hunt through Biology, Zoology or any similar study, and find but slow,—awfully slow,—adaptations toward any form of variation. Hurrying was not known until Man got around."
"Oh," said Kathlyn, "I don’t think anyone is booing Councilman Simpkins. But you know that anytime something new comes up, it tends to spark gossip. I’m not exactly sure why that is. It’s just a human trait. Animals don’t change so suddenly. You can look through Biology, Zoology, or any related study, and see that adaptations to changes happen very slowly—really slowly. Rushing didn’t start until humans came along."
"My!" said Nancy, gasping, and not giggling now, "I wish that I could know all that you know, Kathy. As our slang puts it, 'I don't know nothin'.'"
"My!" said Nancy, gasping and not giggling now, "I wish I could know everything you know, Kathy. As our slang puts it, 'I don't know anything.'"
"That's right," said Nina. "I wish Virginia would study."
"Exactly," Nina said. "I wish Virginia would hit the books."
"Oh, I am!" said Virginia, all aglow.
"Oh, I am!" said Virginia, smiling.
"You? Studying what?"
"What are you studying?"
"Aviation! Harold is going to show—"
"Aviation! Harold is going to demonstrate—"
"Now, Virginia, Harold is not!" and Nina Adams' foot was down! "It's not so bad for a man to fly, but a girl—"
"Now, Virginia, Harold is not!" and Nina Adams' foot was down! "It's not so bad for a guy to fly, but a girl—"
"But, Mama, lots of girls fly, nowadays."
"But, Mom, a lot of girls fly these days."
"I know that, and I also know a girl who won't! and, just as Lucy has always known that Old Tom Young's 'no' was a no, just so had Nina Adams brought up Virginia."
"I know that, and I also know a girl who won't! Just like Lucy has always known that Old Tom Young's 'no' was a no, Nina Adams raised Virginia the same way."
"But," said Kathlyn, "this sky-shooting talk isn't finding out anything about Councilman Simpkins;" and Virginia said:—
"But," Kathlyn said, "this talk about the sky isn't getting us any information about Councilman Simpkins;" and Virginia replied:—
"Possibly Old Bill wants to 'fly high.' I think I'll ask Harold about taking him up for a jaunt."
"Maybe Old Bill wants to 'soar high.' I think I’ll ask Harold about taking him out for a ride."
This, bringing a happy laugh all around, Nina said:—
This made everyone laugh happily, Nina said:—
"I put up a dollar, with Lucy's dollar-fifty that it's a woman."
"I bet a dollar, along with Lucy's dollar-fifty, that it's a woman."
"Oh, I don't know, now," said Nina. "A man isn't always trotting around on a woman's apron strings," and, as it was growing dark, Nina and Virginia got up to go.
"Oh, I don't know," Nina said. "A man isn’t always tied to a woman," and as it was getting dark, Nina and Virginia stood up to leave.
Passing down Gadsby's front walk, a soft night wind brought back to that porch:—
Passing by Gadsby's front walk, a gentle night breeze returned to that porch:—
"Now, Virginia, quit this! You will stay on solid ground!"
"Now, Virginia, stop this! You will stay on solid ground!"
"Aw, Ma! Harold says——"
"Aw, Mom! Harold says——"
But a big bus, roaring by, cut it short.
But a big bus, roaring by, interrupted it.
* * * *
* * * *
Just a month from this, His Honor, sitting on his porch with his "Morning Post" ran across a short bit, just two rows of print, which had him calling "Hi!" which Lady Gadsby took as a signal for a quick trip to that porch.
Just a month later, His Honor was sitting on his porch with his "Morning Post" when he came across a short article, just two lines of text, that made him call out "Hi!" Lady Gadsby took that as a cue for a quick trip to the porch.
"All right, Your Honor! On duty! What's up?"
"Alright, Your Honor! On duty! What's going on?"
Gadsby, folding his "Post" into a narrow column, and handing it to that waiting lady, said nothing. As that good woman saw that paragraph, Gadsby saw first a gasp, following that, a grin, and finally:—
Gadsby, folding his "Post" into a narrow column and handing it to the waiting woman, said nothing. As she read that paragraph, Gadsby first noticed her gasp, then a grin, and finally:—
That row of print said, simply:—
That line of text just said:—
"By Pastor Brown, on Saturday night, in Pastor's study, Nina Adams and Councilman Simpkins."
"By Pastor Brown, on Saturday night, in the Pastor's study, Nina Adams and Councilman Simpkins."
"Why!" said Lady Gadsby, laughing, "Nina sat on this porch only last month, talking about Old Bill, but saying nothing about this! I'm going right around to hug that darling woman; for that is what I call tact."
"Why!" said Lady Gadsby, laughing, "Nina sat on this porch only last month, talking about Old Bill, but not mentioning this! I'm going right over to hug that sweet woman; because that is what I call tact."
So, as Nina and our Lady sat talking, Nina said:
So, while Nina and our Lady were chatting, Nina said:
"You know that Bill and I, growing up from kids in school, always got along grandly; no childhood spats; but, still it was no 'crush' such as Youth falls into. As Bill got out of high school, I still had two rooms to go through. You also know that I wasn't a 'Miss' for long from graduation day. But Irving Adams was lost in that awful 'Titanic' calamity, and I brought up my baby in my widowhood. Bill was always sympathizing and patronizing, though all Branton Hills thought him a cast-iron grouch. But a public man is not always stiff and hard in his off hours; and Bill and I, slowly but gradually finding many a happy hour could—
"You know that Bill and I, having grown up together since school, always got along well; no childhood fights; but it wasn't a 'crush' like what young people often experience. After Bill graduated high school, I still had two more years to finish. You also know that I wasn't a 'Miss' for long after graduation day. But Irving Adams was lost in that terrible 'Titanic' disaster, and I raised my baby on my own. Bill was always sympathetic and condescending, even though everyone in Branton Hills thought he was a hard case. But just because someone is a public figure doesn’t mean they’re serious all the time; and Bill and I, slowly but surely, found many happy moments we could—
"All right, you grand, luscious thing!!" and Lady Gadsby and Nina sat laughing on a couch, as in old, old school days. "And," said Nina, happily; "poor Bill's upstairs, now, putting his things around to suit him. Living for so long in a small lodging all his things staid in a trunk. A lodging-room always has various folks around, you know, and a man don't lay his things out as in his own room. So—"
"Alright, you fabulous thing!!" Lady Gadsby and Nina sat laughing on a couch, just like in the good old school days. "And," said Nina happily, "poor Bill's upstairs now, organizing his stuff the way he likes it. After living for so long in a tiny place, all his things stayed in a trunk. In a rented room, there are always different people around, you know, and a guy doesn’t set up his things like he would in his own room. So—"
"Nina," said Lady Gadsby; "do you know what brought him out of his old shut-in way of looking at things?"
"Nina," said Lady Gadsby, "do you know what made him change his old, closed-off perspective?"
"From just a word or two Bill drops, occasionally, I think that a child is—"
"From just a word or two Bill drops, occasionally, I think that a child is—"
And Lady Gadsby, said; "You know our Good Book's saying about: 'And a tiny child shall——'"
And Lady Gadsby said, "You know what our Good Book says: 'And a tiny child shall——'"
XL
Six months from that day upon which old Mars, God of War, had angrily thrown down his cannons, tanks, gas-bombs and so on, fuming at Man's inability to "stand up to it," Gadsby's mansion was dark again. Not totally dark; just his parlor lamp, and a light or two in halls and on stairways. And so this history found Nancy and Kathlyn out on that moon-lit porch; Nancy sobbing, fighting it off, and sobbing again. Tall, studious, loving Kathlyn, sitting fondly by Nancy's tiny form, said;—
Six months from now day when old Mars, the God of War, had furiously thrown down his cannons, tanks, gas bombs, and so on, upset with humanity's inability to "handle it," Gadsby's mansion was dark again. Not completely dark; just his parlor lamp, and a light or two in the halls and on the stairways. And so this story found Nancy and Kathlyn out on that moonlit porch; Nancy crying, trying to hold it back, and crying again. Tall, studious, loving Kathlyn, sitting close to Nancy's small figure, said;—
"Now, sis; I wouldn't cry so much, for I don't think that conditions, just now, call for it."
"Now, sis, I wouldn't cry so much, because I don't think the situation right now calls for it."
"B-b-b-but I'd stop if I could, wouldn't I?" and poor Nancy was sobbing again. "Now, wait!" and Kathlyn, uncommonly cross, vigorously shook Nancy's arm. "You can't gain a thing this way. Mama is probably all right. Oh, is that you, Daddy?"
"B-b-b-but I'd stop if I could, wouldn't I?" and poor Nancy was crying again. "Now, wait!" and Kathlyn, really annoyed, shook Nancy's arm firmly. "You can't gain a thing this way. Mom is probably fine. Oh, is that you, Dad?"
His Honor sat down by his two girls. Gadsby was not looking good. Black rings around his always laughing orbs; a hard cast to that jovial mouth; a gray hair or two, cropping up amongst his wavy brown. But Gadsby was not old. Oh, no; far from it. Still, that stoop in walking; that odd, limp slump in sitting; that toning down in joviality, had, for six months past, had all Branton Hills sympathizing with its popular Mayor.
His Honor sat down with his two daughters. Gadsby didn't look well. There were dark circles under his always bright eyes; a tense look on his usually cheerful face; a gray hair or two showing up among his wavy brown hair. But Gadsby wasn’t old. Oh, no; far from it. Still, that slouch in his walk; that strange, awkward slump when he sat; that decrease in cheerfulness had, for the past six months, caused all of Branton Hills to feel for its beloved Mayor.
* * * *
* * * *
Days; days; days! And, oh! that tough part,—nights, nights, nights! Nights of two young chaps, in full clothing, only just napping on a parlor couch. Nights of two girls nodding in chairs in a dimly,—oh, so dimly a lit room.
Days; days; days! And, oh! that hard part,—nights, nights, nights! Nights of two young guys, fully dressed, just dozing on a couch in the living room. Nights of two girls dozing in chairs in a softly,—oh, so softly lit room.
It got around almost to Christmas, only a fortnight to that happy day; but,—happy in Gadsby's mansion? Finally Frank took a hand:—
It was getting close to Christmas, just two weeks until that joyful day; but—was it really joyful in Gadsby's mansion? Finally, Frank decided to step in:—
"Now, kid, do try to stop this crying! You know I'm not scolding you, darling, but, you just can't go on this way; and that's that!"
"Now, kid, please try to stop this crying! You know I'm not scolding you, sweetheart, but you really can't keep going like this; and that's final!"
"I'm trying so hard, hubby!"
"I'm trying really hard, hubby!"
Now Nancy was of that good, sturdy old Colonial stock of His Honor and Lady Gadsby; and so, as Christmas was approaching, and many a bunch of holly hung in Broadway's big windows, and as many a Salvation Army Santa Claus stood at its curbs, Nancy's constitution won out; but a badly worn young lady was in and out of Gadsby's mansion daily; bringing baby Lillian to kiss Grandma, and riding back with Frank at about six o'clock.
Now Nancy came from that strong, reliable old Colonial heritage of His Honor and Lady Gadsby; and so, with Christmas approaching, as bunches of holly decorated Broadway's big windows and many Salvation Army Santas stood at the curbs, Nancy's resilience prevailed; but a tired young woman was coming in and out of Gadsby's mansion daily, bringing baby Lillian to kiss Grandma, and riding back with Frank around six o'clock.
* * * *
* * * *
Old Doctor Wilkins, coming in on a cool, sharp night, found His Honor, Nancy, Kathlyn, Bill, Julius, Lucy, Mary, Frank and John all in that big parlor.
Old Doctor Wilkins, walking in on a cool, crisp night, found His Honor, Nancy, Kathlyn, Bill, Julius, Lucy, Mary, Frank, and John all gathered in that big living room.
"Now, you bunch, it's up to you. Lady Gadsby will pull through all right," (Nancy rushing wildly to kiss him!) "it hangs now upon good nursing; and I know you will furnish that. And I will say without a wisp of a doubt, that a calm, happy room; not too many around; and—and—hmmm!! Julius, can't you hunt around in our woods that you and Kathlyn know so thoroughly, and find a tall, straight young fir; cut it down, rig it up with lights and a lot of shiny stuff; stand it up in your Ma's room, and——"
"Now, you all, it’s up to you. Lady Gadsby will be fine," (Nancy rushing in excitedly to kiss him!) "it's all about good nursing now; and I know you’ll provide that. And I’ll say without a doubt that a calm, happy room; not too many people around; and—and—hmmm!! Julius, can't you explore our woods that you and Kathlyn know so well, and find a tall, straight young fir; cut it down, decorate it with lights and a bunch of shiny things; set it up in your mom’s room, and——"
* * * *
* * * *
Along about midnight a happy group sat around Gadsby's parlor lamp, as Dr. Wilkins was saying;—
Along about midnight, a cheerful group gathered around Gadsby's lamp, while Dr. Wilkins was saying;—
"Stopping a war; that is, stopping actual military combat, is not stopping a war in all its factors. During continuous hard strain a human mind can hold up; and it is truly amazing how much it can stand. Day by day, with that war-strain of worry pulling it down, it staunchly holds aloof, as a mighty oak in facing a storm. But it has a limit!! With too much and too long strain, it will snap; just as that mighty oak will fall, in a long fight. Lady Gadsby will avoid such a snap though it is by a narrow margin."
"Stopping a war, meaning stopping the actual fighting, doesn’t mean ending a war in all its aspects. During prolonged intense stress, the human mind can endure quite a bit, and it's impressive how much it can take. Day by day, with the constant worry of war weighing it down, it remains steadfast, like a strong oak facing a storm. But there’s a breaking point!! With too much pressure for too long, it will snap; just like that strong oak will fall in a lengthy battle. Lady Gadsby will prevent such a break, but it's going to be close."
As this group sat in that holly-hung parlor, with that big cloth sign in big gold capitals; HAPPY CHRISTMAS, across its back wall; with horns tooting outdoors; with many a window around town aglow with tiny, dancing tallow-dip lights; with baby Lillian "all snuggling—so warm in a cot; as vision of sugar plums"—(and why shouldn't a baby think of sugar plums on that night, almost Christmas?); as, I say, this happy group sat around Gadsby's lamp, Mars, that grim old war tyrant, was far, far away. Upstairs, calmly snoozing on a big downy pillow, Lady Gadsby was now rapidly coming back again to that buxom, happy-go-lucky First Lady of Branton Hills.
As this group relaxed in the parlor decorated with holly, featuring a large cloth sign in big gold letters reading "HAPPY CHRISTMAS" across the back wall, with horns honking outside, and many windows around town glowing with tiny, flickering candle lights, baby Lillian was all snug and warm in her crib, dreaming of sugar plums—(and why shouldn't a baby think of sugar plums on a night like this, just before Christmas?); as I said, this joyful group gathered around Gadsby's lamp while Mars, that grim old war tyrant, felt like a distant memory. Upstairs, peacefully snoozing on a big fluffy pillow, Lady Gadsby was quickly transforming back into that cheerful, carefree First Lady of Branton Hills.
XLI
Christmas, gay and happy in Gadsby's mansion, was soon far, far back. A robin or two was hopping about on His Honor's lawn, looking for a squirming lunch; Lady was taking short walks with Nancy; Kathlyn having to go back to work in our big hospital. Lilac, syringa, narcissus, tulips, hyacinths burst out in a riot of bloom; and a bright warm Sun brought joy to all. And so this history found His Honor on his porch with his "Post" as a young lad, coming up, said;—"Good morning, sir. I'm soliciting funds for a big stadium for Branton Hills, which will furnish an opportunity for football, polo,——"
Christmas, joyful and joyful at Gadsby's mansion, felt like a distant memory. A couple of robins were pecking around on His Honor's lawn, searching for a wriggling meal; Lady was taking short strolls with Nancy; Kathlyn had to return to her job at the big hospital. Lilacs, syringas, narcissus, tulips, and hyacinths were bursting into a vibrant display of flowers; and a bright, warm sun filled everyone with happiness. And so this story found His Honor on his porch with his "Post" when a young lad approached and said, "Good morning, sir. I'm collecting donations for a large stadium for Branton Hills, which will provide a venue for football, polo,——"
"Whoa!" said Gadsby, putting down his "Post" and looking critically at his young visitor. "You look a bit familiar, boy. Oho! If it isn't kid Banks; oh, pardon!—Allan Banks; son of Councilman Banks! You young folks grow up so fast I don't know half of you. Now what about this soliciting. Who is back of you?"
"Whoa!" said Gadsby, putting down his "Post" and looking critically at his young visitor. "You look a bit familiar, kid. Oh! If it isn't kid Banks; oh, excuse me!—Allan Banks; son of Councilman Banks! You young folks grow up so fast I don’t know half of you. Now, what’s this about soliciting? Who's behind you?"
"Branton Hills' Organization of Youth; Part Two, sir."
"Branton Hills' Organization of Youth; Part Two, sir."
"Branton Hills Org——Ha, ha! Upon my word! Who is starting this group?"
"Branton Hills Org——Ha, ha! Seriously! Who's launching this group?"
Was Gadsby happy? Did Gadsby thrill? Did that long-past, happy day float in glowing colors through his mind? It did. And now that old, hard-working bunch of kids, grown up, now, and with kids of its own; that loyal bunch of young sprouts was taking root; was born again!
Was Gadsby happy? Did Gadsby feel excitement? Did that long-ago happy day flash in bright colors through his mind? It did. And now that old, hardworking group of kids, all grown up and with kids of their own; that loyal group of young ones was taking root; it was reborn!
Oh, how Youth crawls up on you! How a tiny girl "almost instantly" shoots up into a tall, charming young woman! How a top-spinning, ball-tossing, racing, shouting boy looms up into a manly young chap in Military School uniform! Gadsby was happy; for, wasn't this a tonic for his spinal column? So His Honor said;—
Oh, how quickly Youth catches up with you! How a little girl "almost instantly" grows into a tall, lovely young woman! How a boy spinning tops, tossing balls, racing around, and shouting turns into a manly young guy in Military School uniform! Gadsby was happy; because, wasn't this a boost for his spine? So His Honor said;—
"Allan, I think Branton Hills will officially aid this stadium plan. I'll put it up to Council."
"Allan, I believe Branton Hills will officially support this stadium plan. I'll present it to the Council."
But, Allan Banks, not Kid Banks now, was just so old as to know a thing or two about Council bills; and, out as a solicitor, naturally sought a good showing on donations won, so said;—
But Allan Banks, not Kid Banks anymore, was old enough to understand a thing or two about Council bills; and, as a solicitor, he naturally aimed to make a good impression on donations received, so it was said;—
"A Council donation will fit in grand, sir; but how about grouchy old Bill Simpk——"
"A Council donation will work out great, sir; but what about grumpy old Bill Simpk——"
"But how about this stadium? I'm doubting Old B—"
"But what about this stadium? I'm skeptical about Old B—"
"Trot along, Allan."
"Keep going, Allan."
* * * *
* * * *
What Mary had said was a fact. Norman Antor had not only fought a military war; Norman Antor had also fought an inward war. A war, which fought him with gallon jugs, small phials, spoons, mixing apparatus, and—a stumbling, mumbling stupor! Norman had fought with about two million lads in that military war; but now, with no aid but a strain of good blood, starting way back of his carousing Dad (but, as such traits may, skipping a notch or two, and implanting in this young lad just a grain of its old nobility of mind), was fighting again; and, just as any solitary young chap amongst that two million loyally did his part, just so was this tiny grain now doing its part; fighting valiantly in his brain. It was giving him torturing thoughts in army night-camps, of a darling, loving young girl, a part of his own family, growing up "in a pool of liquor;" thoughts in night-camps of Branton Hills' patrol-wagon trips to jail; and Darn that thought of Virginia! Virginia drunk by his own hand! Ugh!! Why not chop that stinking hand off? And, on coming back to Branton Hills, watching that darling Mary in Salvation Army uniform, tramping, talking, praying for just such low-down "liquor hounds" as——.
What Mary said was true. Norman Antor had not only fought in a military war; he had also battled an internal war. A war that assaulted him with gallon jugs, small bottles, spoons, mixing tools, and—a stumbling, mumbling daze! Norman had fought alongside about two million guys in that military conflict; but now, with no help except a bit of good blood flowing from his partying dad (but, as these traits can, skipping a generation or two and leaving this young guy with just a trace of its former nobility of spirit), he was fighting again; and, just like any lone young man among those two million who did his duty, so was this tiny bit now doing its part; bravely battling in his mind. It was bombarding him with tormenting thoughts in army night-camps about a dear, loving young girl, part of his own family, growing up "in a pool of liquor;" thoughts in night-camps of Branton Hills' patrol wagon trips to jail; and Darn that thought of Virginia! Virginia drunk by his own hand! Ugh!! Why not just chop that dirty hand off? And, when returning to Branton Hills, seeing that sweet Mary in her Salvation Army uniform, walking, talking, praying for just such pathetic "liquor hounds" as——.
Oh! It was an awful fight! A long, brain-racking onslaught against a villain shut in by walls of iron! But though Norman Antor's night-camp fights with Norman Antor had "put a big kick" in his wish to "lay off that stuff," just a final blow, just an awful brain-crashing blast was still missing, so that that big right hand might point skyward, to clinch that vow. And that blast was waiting for Norman! To anybody standing around, it wasn't much of a blast; but it was! It was a mighty concussion of T.N.T., coming as Mary, young, loving, praying Mary, said, as his arms unwound from around that frail form:—
Oh! It was an intense fight! A long, exhausting battle against a villain trapped behind walls of iron! Even though Norman Antor's late-night struggles with himself had made him eager to "give up that stuff," he still needed one last blow, one final, devastating blast to lift that big right hand skyward and seal that promise. And that blast was waiting for Norman! To anyone watching, it didn’t seem like much of a blast; but it was! It was a powerful explosion of T.N.T., coming just as Mary, young, loving, and praying Mary, said, as his arms released their hold on her delicate form:—
"Why, Norman! Not drunk?"
"Why, Norman! No way you're sober?"
God!! What flashing, shooting, sizzling sparks shot through his brain!! Up, out, in; all kinds of ways!! What crashing bombs!!
Wow!! What flashing, shooting, sizzling sparks shot through his brain!! Up, out, in; all sorts of ways!! What crashing bombs!!
And, that first calm night on Old Lady Flanagan's porch; that moonlit night of bliss, with soft, cuddling, snuggling, laughing, crying darling Mary!
And that first peaceful night on Old Lady Flanagan's porch; that moonlit night of happiness, with soft, cozy, cuddling, laughing, crying sweet Mary!
For it was a night on which a young man's Soul was back; back in its own Mind, now full of God's incomparably grand purity!
For it was a night when a young man's soul was back; back in his own mind, now filled with God's incomparably grand purity!
* * * *
* * * *
Lady Gadsby was visiting Nina, sitting in that big front parlor; Virginia sitting calmly rocking; (and, hmmm! That was about all Virginia ought to do, just now!) A young High School girl, coming in, said;—
Lady Gadsby was visiting Nina, sitting in that big front parlor; Virginia was sitting calmly rocking; (and, hmmm! That was about all Virginia should be doing right now!) A young high school girl, coming in, said;—
"Good morning! I'm soliciting for funds for a stadium for——"
"Good morning! I'm asking for donations for a stadium for——"
"Marian!" sang out Virginia, "What's all this? You, soliciting?"
"Marian!" called out Virginia, "What is happening? Are you trying to negotiate?"
"Why not?" said Marian, brightly. "Norman Antor's Organization of Youth; Part Two, is soli—"
"Why not?" said Marian, cheerfully. "Norman Antor's Organization of Youth; Part Two, is soli—"
"Norman Antor's what?" and Virginia was all agog in an instant, as Marian Hopkins told all about it; and, with childish flippancy, forgot all about soliciting, saying:—
"Norman Antor's what?" Virginia was instantly excited as Marian Hopkins shared all the details; and, with a playful attitude, completely forgot about asking, saying:—
"I was told that Harold is giving flying instructions. Don't you want to fly? My! I do!"
"I heard that Harold is giving flying lessons. Don't you want to fly? Wow! I definitely do!"
As Nancy found out about this, on Lady Gadsby's coming back to lunch, that "old Branton Hills matron," as Gadsby found a lot of fun calling "his baby girl," now-a-days, said, giggling:—
As Nancy learned about this when Lady Gadsby returned for lunch, that "old Branton Hills matron," as Gadsby found it amusing to call "his little girl" these days, said, giggling:—
"No! Virginia! You'll stay on solid ground!"
"No! Virginia! You'll stay on solid ground!"
XLII
Lady Gadsby and His Honor sat in Branton Hills' First Church, on a hot July Sunday. Out-doors, twitting birds, lacy clouds, and gay blossoms, told of happy hours in this long, bright month. Pastor Brown, announcing a hymn, said:—
Lady Gadsby and His Honor sat in Branton Hills' First Church on a hot Sunday in July. Outside, chirping birds, fluffy clouds, and colorful flowers brought to mind the joyful days of this long, sunny month. Pastor Brown, announcing a hymn, said:—
"This is a charming hymn. Our choir always sings it without company; but today, I want all you good folks to join in. Just pour forth your joy and sing it, good and strongly."
"This is a lovely hymn. Our choir usually sings it alone; but today, I want all of you wonderful people to join in. Just let your joy flow and sing it out loud and strong."
That hymn had six stanzas; and Gadsby, noting an actually grand bass singing just back of him, thought of turning around, from curiosity; and as that fifth stanza was starting, said to Lady Gadsby:—
That hymn had six stanzas, and Gadsby, noticing a really great bass singing just behind him, thought about turning around out of curiosity; and as the fifth stanza began, he said to Lady Gadsby:—
"Do you know who that is, singing that grand bass part?"
"Do you know who it is that's singing that deep bass part?"
Lady Gadsby didn't; but Lady Gadsby was a woman; and, from Noah's Ark to Branton Hills' First Church, woman, as a branch of Mankind, was curious. So a slow casual turning brought a dig in His Honor's ribs:—
Lady Gadsby didn't; but Lady Gadsby was a woman; and, from Noah's Ark to Branton Hills' First Church, woman, as a branch of Mankind, was curious. So a slow casual turning brought a dig in His Honor's ribs:—
"It's Norman Antor!"
"It's Norman Antor!"
"Young Antor is invariably in church, now-a-days. I may add to my choir, and am thinking of putting him in it. I'm so glad to find out about that boy winning his fight. I always thought Norman would turn out all right."
"Young Antor is always in church these days. I might add to my choir and am considering putting him in it. I'm really glad to hear that boy won his fight. I always thought Norman would turn out all right."
Pastor Brown was right; and two Branton Hills girls, a Salvation Army lady, and a tiny tot of six had won crowns of Glory, from throwing rays of light into two badly stagnant Minds.
Pastor Brown was right; and two girls from Branton Hills, a Salvation Army lady, and a little six-year-old had earned crowns of Glory, by shining light into two deeply stagnant minds.
XLIII
Thirty-six months. That's not so long a run in daily affairs, and this Branton Hills history finds Thanksgiving Day dawning. In Branton Hill's locality it is not, customarily, what you would call a cold day. Many a Thanksgiving has had warm, balmy air, and without snow; though, also, without all that vast army of tiny chirping, singing, buzzing things on lawn or branch. But contrast has its own valuation; for, through it, common sights, vanishing annually, show up with a happy joy, upon coming back. Ah! That first faint coloring of grass, in Spring! That baby bud, on shrub or plant, shyly asking our loving South Wind if it's all right to pop out, now. That sprouting of big brown limbs on oak and birch; that first "blush of Spring" in orchards; that first furry, fuzzy, cuddly spray of pussy willows! Spring and Fall; two big points in your trip along your Pathway. Fall with its rubbish from months of labor: cornstalks, brown, dry grass, old twigs lying around, wilting plants; bright colorings blazing in distant woodlands; chill winds crawling in through windows, at night. And Spring! Pick-up, paint-up, wash-up Spring!! So, as I said, Branton Hills got around to Thanksgiving Day; that day on which as many of a family as possibly can should sit around a common board; coming from afar, or from only a door or two away.
3 years. That’s not a long stretch in daily life, and the history of Branton Hills finds Thanksgiving Day arriving. In Branton Hills, it isn’t usually what you’d call a cold day. Many Thanksgivings have had warm, pleasant weather, often without snow; however, this also means there’s a lack of all those tiny, chirping, singing, buzzing creatures in the yard or on the branches. But contrast brings its own value; because of it, familiar sights that fade each year return with a joyful freshness. Ah! That first hint of green grass in Spring! That little bud on shrubs and plants, shyly asking our gentle South Wind if it’s okay to emerge now. That sprouting of big brown branches on oak and birch; that first “blush of Spring” in the orchards; that first furry, fuzzy, cuddly spray of pussy willows! Spring and Fall; two significant moments in your journey along your Pathway. Fall brings the remnants of months of work: cornstalks, brown, dry grass, old twigs scattered about, wilting plants; vibrant colors blazing in the distant woods; chilly winds sneaking in through the windows at night. And Spring! Clean-up, touch-up, brightening Spring!! So, as I mentioned, Branton Hills got around to Thanksgiving Day; the day when as many family members as possible gather around a common table, coming from far away or just a door or two down the street.
Gadsby's dining-room was not big; it had always sat but six in his family. But, on this Thanksgiving Day,—hmmm! "Wait, now—uh-huh, that's it. Just run that pair of sliding doors back, put that parlor lamp upstairs; and that piano? Why not roll it out into my front hall? I know it will look odd, but you can't go through a Thanksgiving 'soup to nuts' standing up. Got to jam in chairs, any old way!"
Gadsby's dining room wasn't large; it had always seated just six in his family. But, on this Thanksgiving Day—hmmm! "Wait, okay—uh-huh, that's it. Just slide those doors open, move that parlor lamp upstairs; and the piano? Why not roll it out into my front hall? I know it will look strange, but you can't have a Thanksgiving 'soup to nuts' while standing up. Got to cram in chairs, no matter how!"
But who is all this mob that will turn His Honor's dining-room into a thirty-foot hall? I'll look around, as our happy, laughing, singing, clapping group sits down to Gadsby's Thanksgiving party.
But who is this crowd that will turn His Honor's dining room into a thirty-foot hall? I'll take a look around as our cheerful, laughing, singing, clapping group settles in for Gadsby's Thanksgiving party.
I find two "posts of honor;" (My gracious! so far apart!); His Honor, with carving tools filling dish, dish, and dish.
I find two "posts of honor;" (Wow! so far apart!); His Honor, with carving tools filling dish, dish, and dish.
"Atta boy! Atta girl! Pass up your chow-dish! This bird has but two drum-sticks, but six of his cousins wait, out in our cook-shop! Lots of grub! What's that, Julius? A bit of dark? Want any gravy?"
"Good job! Great work! Pass your plate! This bird only has two drumsticks, but six of its cousins are waiting in our kitchen! Plenty of food! What’s that, Julius? A little dark meat? Want some gravy?"
At Post Two sits "Ma;" still in that good old buxom shape, so familiar to everyone in Branton Hills:—
"Right this way, folks, for potato, squash, onions, carrots and turnip!!"
"Right this way, everyone, for potatoes, squash, onions, carrots, and turnips!!"
What a happy bunch! Following around from Gadsby, sit Bill, Lucy and Addison. But whoa! Who's this Addison? Oh, pardon; I forgot all about it. Lucy's baby; and his first Thanksgiving. Hi, you! Tut-tut! Mustn't grab raisins! Naughty, naughty! On Lucy's right sit Mary, Julius and Norman; following along, I find Nancy, Frank and Baby Lillian, Kathlyn, John, Lady Standish, Priscilla and Hubby Arthur Rankin; Nina Adams,—Oh! A thousand pardons!!—Nina Simpkins! and Old Bill. Say! You wouldn't know Bill! Bright, happy, laughing, singing, and tapping a cup with his spoon; spick-span suit, and that now famous "Broadway carnation." Hulloa, Bill; you old sport!! Glad to find you looking so happy! What? Two whacks at that bird? Why Bill!! On Bill's right sits Pastor Brown, old Doctor Wilkins, Harold, Virginia, and Patricia. Oh, pardon again! Patricia, Virgina's baby; just six months old, today, and valiantly trying to swallow a half-pound candy cow! Following around I find Old Tom Young, Sarah, and Paul. No, I don't find a high-chair by Sarah; but Sarah sits just rocking, rocking, rocking, now-a-days. Following on, again, is Old Tom Donaldson, Clancy Dowd, and—Old Lady Flanagan, with "this dom thing I calls hoosband!" And lastly, Marian and old Pat Ryan from our railway station's trunk room.
What a happy group! Following along from Gadsby are Bill, Lucy, and Addison. But hold on! Who’s this Addison? Oh, sorry; I totally forgot. Lucy's baby, and it's his first Thanksgiving. Hey, you! Tut-tut! Don’t grab the raisins! Naughty, naughty! To Lucy's right are Mary, Julius, and Norman; following along, I see Nancy, Frank, and Baby Lillian, Kathlyn, John, Lady Standish, Priscilla, and Hubby Arthur Rankin; Nina Adams,—Oh! A thousand apologies!!—Nina Simpkins! and Old Bill. Hey! You wouldn’t recognize Bill! Bright, happy, laughing, singing, and tapping a cup with his spoon; dressed sharp in a suit, and that now-famous "Broadway carnation." Hey there, Bill; you old sport!! Glad to see you looking so happy! What? Two hits at that bird? Why, Bill!! To Bill's right sit Pastor Brown, old Doctor Wilkins, Harold, Virginia, and Patricia. Oh, sorry again! Patricia, Virginia’s baby; just six months old today, and bravely trying to swallow a half-pound candy cow! Following on, I find Old Tom Young, Sarah, and Paul. No, I don’t see a high-chair by Sarah; but she just sits there, rocking, rocking, rocking, these days. Following along again is Old Tom Donaldson, Clancy Dowd, and—Old Lady Flanagan, with "this here thing I call my husband!" And lastly, Marian and old Pat Ryan from our railway station's trunk room.
So it was just laugh, talk, "stuff," and—
So it was just laughing, chatting, "stuff," and—
* * * *
* * * *
Oh, hum! Folks can't stay all night, you know; so, finally, groups and pairs, drifting out, all had happy words for His Honor and Lady Gadsby; and His Honor, a word or two; for you know Gadsby can talk? So it was:—
Oh, come on! People can't stick around all night, you know; so, eventually, groups and couples started to leave, all sharing cheerful words with His Honor and Lady Gadsby; and His Honor responded with a word or two; because you know Gadsby can talk, right? So that was how it went:—
"Good night, Nina; good luck, Old Bill! Oh! say, Bill; will that cigar blow up? Good night, Virginia; and ta-ta Patricia; and Virginia, you mind your Ma and stay down on solid ground! Aha, Clancy! You old motor-pump fan! No; that's wrong; animal-drawn pump! Good night, Pastor Brown; so glad you put Norman in your choir. And now Old Tom and Sarah! Tom, you look as young as on that day on which you brought Sarah, just a tiny, squalling, fist-waving bunch, to this porch to ask about adoption! And I know Sarah has always had a kind, loving Dad. Paul, you young sprout! As you turn into a daddy, soon now, you'll find that, on marrying, a man and woman start actually living. It's miraculous, Paul, that's just what it is."
"Good night, Nina; good luck, Old Bill! Oh! Hey, Bill; will that cigar explode? Good night, Virginia; and bye Patricia; and Virginia, you listen to your mom and stay on solid ground! Aha, Clancy! You old motor-pump enthusiast! No; that's wrong; animal-drawn pump! Good night, Pastor Brown; I'm so glad you put Norman in your choir. And now Old Tom and Sarah! Tom, you look as young as you did that day you brought Sarah, just a tiny, squalling, fist-waving bundle, to this porch to ask about adoption! And I know Sarah has always had a kind, loving dad. Paul, you young sprout! As you become a dad, soon now, you'll find that, when getting married, a man and woman actually start living. It's amazing, Paul, that's just what it is."
And so it was; pairs and groups shaking hands and laughing, until finally a big buxom woman sang out:—
And so it was; couples and groups shaking hands and laughing, until finally a big, lively woman called out:—
"Whoops!! It was a wow of a grub-lay-out! It was thot! But this dom thing I calls hoosband. Say! You grub-stuffin' varmint! Phwat's that in your hat? A droom-stick, is it? Do you want His Honor to think I don't cook nuthin' for you? Goodnight, all! I'm thot full I'm almost a-bustin'!"
"Whoops!! It was an amazing meal layout! It was delicious! But this guy I call my husband. Hey! You food-stuffing rascal! What’s that in your hat? A dream stick, is it? Do you want His Honor to think I don’t cook anything for you? Goodnight, everyone! I'm so full I'm about to burst!"
As Lady Standish shook hands, that worthy woman said:—
As Lady Standish shook hands, that esteemed woman said:—
"John, what you did for Branton Hills should go into our National Library at Washington, in plain sight."
"John, what you did for Branton Hills should be displayed in our National Library in Washington, where everyone can see it."
"Sally, Youth's part was paramount in all that work. All I did was to boss;" and Old Doc Wilkins, coming out, nibbling a bunch of raisins, said:—
"Sally, Youth's role was crucial in all that work. All I did was to take charge;" and Old Doc Wilkins, coming out, munching on a bunch of raisins, said:—
"Uh-huh; but a boss must know his job!"
"Uh-huh; but a boss has to know his job!"
"That's all right," said Gadsby; "but it was young hands and young minds that did my work! Don't disqualify Youth for it will fool you, if you do!"
"That's fine," said Gadsby; "but it was young hands and young minds that did my work! Don’t underestimate Youth, or it will surprise you!"
* * * *
* * * *
A glorious full moon sails across a sky without a cloud. A crisp night air has folks turning up coat collars and kids hopping up and down for warmth. And that giant star, Sirius, winking slyly, knows that soon, now, that light up in His Honor's room window will go out. Fttt! It is out! So, as Sirius and Luna hold an all-night vigil, I'll say a soft "Good-night" to all our happy bunch, and to John Gadsby—Youth's Champion.
A beautiful full moon glides through a clear sky. The chilly night air has people pulling up their coat collars and kids jumping up and down to stay warm. And that bright star, Sirius, winking mischievously, knows that soon, right now, the light in His Honor's room window will turn off. Fttt! It's out! So, while Sirius and Luna keep watch all night, I'll quietly say "Good night" to our happy group and to John Gadsby—Youth's Champion.
FINIS
THE END
Note: Not a word containing the letter "E" has appeared in this story of over 50,000 words.
Note: Not a word that has the letter "E" has shown up in this story of more than 50,000 words.
Transcriber's Note:
Transcriber's Note:
Did any "e"s survive the publishing process? Yes, three "the"s, and one "officers"—all have been retained as published.
Did any "e"s survive the publishing process? Yes, three "the"s and one "officers"—all have been kept as published.
Use of quotation marks has been standardised; otherwise punctuation, spelling, hyphenated words and grammar have been retained as they appear in the original publication except as follows:
Use of quotation marks has been standardized; otherwise punctuation, spelling, hyphenated words, and grammar have been kept as they appear in the original publication except as follows:
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pavilion, lunch rooms; and parkings for as many changed to
pavilion, lunch rooms; and parking for as many
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pavilion, lunch rooms; and parking for as many
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all this with happy satisfication changed to
all this with happy satisfaction
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all this with happy satisfaction changed to
all this with happy satisfaction
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thought back about that lassoo changed to
thought back about that lasso
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thought back about that lasso changed to
thought back about that lasso
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on hand for his politicial changed to
on hand for his political
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on hand for his political changed to
on hand for his political
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back to that captivating lassoo changed to
back to that captivating lasso
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back to that captivating gal changed to
back to that captivating lasso
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two upstairs, for wraps, mascarra changed to
two upstairs, for wraps, mascara
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two upstairs, for wraps, mascara changed to
two upstairs, for wraps, mascara
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If-f-f-f B-b-b-barnum's circut changed to
If-f-f-f B-b-b-barnum's circus
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If Barnum's circus changed to
If Barnum's circus
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around your tiny baby as softy changed to
around your tiny baby as softly
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around your tiny baby as softly changed to
around your tiny baby as softly
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talking. Taking about what? changed to
talking. Talking about what?
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talking. Talking about what? changed to
talking. Talking about what?
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Nina coudn't stand it changed to
Nina couldn't stand it
Nina couldn't handle it
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known Nina and Virgina changed to
known Nina and Virginia
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known Nina and Virginia changed to
known Nina and Virginia
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Organizations's foot-prints changed to
Organization's foot-prints
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Organizations' footprints changed to
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ footprints
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