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CASSELL’S NATIONAL LIBRARY
Cassell's National Library
THE
Sensitive Guy
BY
BY
HENRY MACKENZIE.
HENRY MACKENZIE.
CASSELL & COMPANY, Limited:
CASSELL & COMPANY, Limited:
LONDON, PARIS, NEW YORK & MELBOURNE.
LONDON, PARIS, NEW YORK & MELBOURNE.
1886.
1886.
p. iiiEDITOR’S INTRODUCTION
Henry Mackenzie, the son of an Edinburgh physician, was born in August, 1745. After education in the University of Edinburgh he went to London in 1765, at the age of twenty, for law studies, returned to Edinburgh, and became Crown Attorney in the Scottish Court of Exchequer. When Mackenzie was in London, Sterne’s “Tristram Shandy” was in course of publication. The first two volumes had appeared in 1759, and the ninth appeared in 1767, followed in 1768, the year of Sterne’s death, by “The Sentimental Journey.” Young Mackenzie had a strong bent towards literature, and while studying law in London, he read Sterne, and falling in with the tone of sentiment which Sterne himself caught from the spirit of the time and the example of Rousseau, he wrote “The Man of Feeling.” This book was published, without author’s name, in 1771. It was so p. ivpopular that a young clergyman made a copy of it popular with imagined passages of erasure and correction, on the strength of which he claimed to be its author, and obliged Henry Mackenzie to declare himself. In 1773 Mackenzie published a second novel, “The Man of the World,” and in 1777 a third, “Julia de Roubigné.” An essay-reading society in Edinburgh, of which he was a leader, started in January, 1779, a weekly paper called The Mirror, which he edited until May, 1780. Its writers afterwards joined in producing The Lounger, which lasted from February, 1785, to January, 1787. Henry Mackenzie contributed forty-two papers to The Mirror and fifty-seven to The Lounger. When the Royal Society of Edinburgh was founded Henry Mackenzie was active as one of its first members. He was also one of the founders of the Highland Society.
Henry Mackenzie, the son of an Edinburgh doctor, was born in August 1745. After studying at the University of Edinburgh, he moved to London in 1765 at age twenty to study law. He returned to Edinburgh and became the Crown Attorney in the Scottish Court of Exchequer. While in London, Sterne's “Tristram Shandy” was being published. The first two volumes came out in 1759, with the ninth released in 1767, followed by “The Sentimental Journey” in 1768, the year of Sterne's death. Young Mackenzie had a strong passion for literature, and while studying law in London, he read Sterne. Inspired by Sterne's sentiment, which reflected the spirit of the times and Rousseau's influence, he wrote “The Man of Feeling.” This book was published anonymously in 1771. It became so popular that a young clergyman claimed authorship by making a copy with imagined edits, prompting Henry Mackenzie to reveal himself as the author. In 1773, Mackenzie released a second novel, “The Man of the World,” and in 1777, a third, “Julia de Roubigné.” An essay-reading group in Edinburgh, of which he was a leader, started a weekly publication called The Mirror in January 1779, which he edited until May 1780. The contributors later collaborated on The Lounger, which ran from February 1785 to January 1787. Henry Mackenzie wrote forty-two articles for The Mirror and fifty-seven for The Lounger. When the Royal Society of Edinburgh was established, Henry Mackenzie was active as one of its founding members. He was also one of the founders of the Highland Society.
Although his “Man of Feeling” was a serious reflection of the false sentiment of the Revolution, Mackenzie joined afterwards in writing tracts to dissuade the people from faith in the doctrines of the Revolutionists. Mackenzie wrote also a tragedy, “The Prince of Tunis,” which was acted with success at Edinburgh, and a comedy, “The p. vWhite Hypocrite,” which was acted once only at Covent garden. He died at the age of eighty-six, on the 13th June, 1831, having for many years been regarded as an elder friend of their own craft by the men of letters who in his days gave dignity to Edinburgh society, and caused the town to be called the Modern Athens.
Although his “Man of Feeling” seriously reflected the false sentiments of the Revolution, Mackenzie later wrote tracts to discourage people from believing in the ideas of the Revolutionists. Mackenzie also wrote a tragedy, “The Prince of Tunis,” which was successfully performed in Edinburgh, and a comedy, “The p. vWhite Hypocrite,” which was performed just once at Covent Garden. He died at the age of eighty-six, on June 13, 1831, having been seen for many years as an elder friend by his fellow writers, who during his time brought dignity to Edinburgh society and earned the city the nickname of the Modern Athens.
A man of refined taste, who caught the tone of the French sentiment of his time, has, of course, pleased French critics, and has been translated into French. “The Man of Feeling” begins with imitation of Sterne, and proceeds in due course through so many tears that it is hardly to be called a dry book. As guide to persons of a calculating disposition who may read these pages I append an index to the Tears shed in “The Man of Feeling.”
A man of refined taste, who captured the spirit of French sentiment during his era, has naturally impressed French critics and has been translated into French. “The Man of Feeling” starts by mimicking Sterne, and eventually includes so many tears that it can hardly be considered a dry book. To assist those who are more calculating and may read these pages, I’ve included an index of the tears shed in “The Man of Feeling.”
p. viINDEX TO TEARS.
(Chokings, &c., not counted.)
(Chokings, &, not counted.)
|
PAGE PAGE |
“Odds but should have wept” "Odds, but should've cried" |
|
Tear, given, “cordial drop” repeated Tear, given, “cordial drop” repeated |
|
,, like Cestus of Cytherea ,, like Cestus of Cytherea |
|
,, one on a cheek one on the cheek |
|
“I will not weep” "I won't cry" |
|
Tears add energy to benediction Tears energize the blessing. |
|
,, tribute of some tribute to some |
|
„ blessings on "Blessings on" |
|
I would weep too I would cry too |
|
Not an unmoistened eye Not a dry eye |
|
Do you weep again? Are you crying again? |
|
Hand bathed with tears Tears-soaked hand |
|
Tears, burst into Tears, streamed down |
|
„ sobbing and shedding Crying and tearing up |
|
,, burst into broke in |
|
,, virtue in these virtue in these |
|
„ he wept at the recollection of her „ he wept at the memory of her |
|
,, glister of new-washed glow of freshly washed |
|
Sweet girl (here she wept) Sweet girl (here she cried) |
|
I could only weep I could only cry |
|
Tears, saw his Saw his tears |
|
,, burst into broke in |
|
„ wrung from the heart "wrung from the heart" |
|
,, feet bathed with feet soaked in |
|
„ voice lost in "voice lost in" |
|
Eye met with a tear Eye met a tear |
|
Tear stood in eye Tear stood in sight |
|
Tears, face bathed with Tears streaming down my face |
|
Dropped one tear, no more Dropped a tear, no more |
|
Tears, press-gang could scarce keep from Tears, the press gang could hardly hold back from |
|
Big drops wetted gray beard Big drops soaked gray beard |
|
Tears, shower of Shower of tears |
|
,, scarce forced—blubbered like a boy ,, scarce forced—blubbered like a boy |
|
Moistened eye Watery eye |
|
Tears choked utterance Tears stifled speech |
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I have wept many a time I've cried a lot. |
|
Girl wept, brother sobbed Girl cried, brother wept |
|
Harley kissed off her tears as they flowed, and wept between every kiss Harley wiped away her tears as they fell and cried between each kiss. |
|
Tears flowing down cheeks Tears streaming down cheeks |
|
,, gushed afresh gushed again |
|
Beamy moisture Bright humidity |
|
A tear dropped A tear fell |
|
Tear in her eye, the sick man kissed it off in its bud, smiling through the dimness of his own Tears in her eye, the sick man kissed them away before they could fall, smiling through the darkness of his own. |
|
Hand wet by tear just fallen Hand wet by a tear just fallen |
|
Tears flowing without control Tears streaming uncontrollably |
|
Cheek wiped (at the end of the last chapter) Cheek wiped (at the end of the last chapter) |
p. ixAUTHOR’S INTRODUCTION
My dog had made a point on a piece of fallow-ground, and led the curate and me two or three hundred yards over that and some stubble adjoining, in a breathless state of expectation, on a burning first of September.
My dog had pointed out a spot on an empty piece of land, and he guided the curate and me two or three hundred yards across that and some nearby stubble, filled with excitement, on a sweltering first of September.
It was a false point, and our labour was vain: yet, to do Rover justice (for he’s an excellent dog, though I have lost his pedigree), the fault was none of his, the birds were gone: the curate showed me the spot where they had lain basking, at the root of an old hedge.
It was a pointless effort, and our work was wasted: still, to give Rover his due (he's a great dog, even though I’ve lost his pedigree), it wasn’t his fault; the birds were gone. The curate pointed out the spot where they had been resting, at the base of an old hedge.
I stopped and cried Hem! The curate is fatter than I; he wiped the sweat from his brow.
I stopped and said, "Hey! The curate is heavier than I am;" he wiped the sweat from his forehead.
There is no state where one is apter to pause and look round one, than after such a disappointment. It is even so in life. When we have been hurrying on, impelled by some warm wish or other, looking neither to the right hand nor to the p. xleft—we find of a sudden that all our gay hopes are flown; and the only slender consolation that some friend can give us, is to point where they were once to be found. And lo! if we are not of that combustible race, who will rather beat their heads in spite, than wipe their brows with the curate, we look round and say, with the nauseated listlessness of the king of Israel, “All is vanity and vexation of spirit.”
There’s no time when you're more likely to stop and take a look around than after a disappointment. It’s the same in life. When we’ve been rushing forward, driven by some strong desire, ignoring everything around us, we suddenly realize that our hopes have all vanished. The only small comfort a friend can offer is to remind us where those hopes used to be. And if we’re not the kind of people who would rather lash out in frustration than find peace with a friend, we look around and say, with the same tired disillusionment as the king of Israel, “Everything is pointless and frustrating.”
I looked round with some such grave apophthegm in my mind when I discovered, for the first time, a venerable pile, to which the enclosure belonged. An air of melancholy hung about it. There was a languid stillness in the day, and a single crow, that perched on an old tree by the side of the gate, seemed to delight in the echo of its own croaking.
I looked around with a serious thought in my mind when I discovered, for the first time, an old building that was part of the enclosure. It had a sad atmosphere. The day was quiet and still, and a single crow sitting on an old tree by the gate seemed to enjoy the sound of its own cawing.
I leaned on my gun and looked; but I had not breath enough to ask the curate a question. I observed carving on the bark of some of the trees: ’twas indeed the only mark of human art about the place, except that some branches appeared to have been lopped, to give a view of the cascade, which was formed by a little rill at some distance.
I leaned on my gun and looked; but I didn’t have enough breath to ask the curate a question. I noticed carvings on the bark of some of the trees: it was really the only sign of human art around here, except that some branches seemed to have been trimmed to create a view of the waterfall, which was formed by a little stream a bit further away.
Just at that instant I saw pass between the p. xitrees a young lady with a book in her hand. I stood upon a stone to observe her; but the curate sat him down on the grass, and leaning his back where I stood, told me, “That was the daughter of a neighbouring gentleman of the name of Walton, whom he had seen walking there more than once.
Just at that moment, I saw a young woman walk between the p. xitrees, holding a book. I climbed onto a stone to get a better look at her, while the curate sat down on the grass, leaned against the spot where I was standing, and told me, “That was the daughter of a nearby gentleman named Walton, who he had noticed walking there more than once.
“Some time ago,” he said, “one Harley lived there, a whimsical sort of man I am told, but I was not then in the cure; though, if I had a turn for those things, I might know a good deal of his history, for the greatest part of it is still in my possession.”
“Some time ago,” he said, “a guy named Harley-Davidson lived there, a pretty quirky guy from what I hear, but I wasn't involved back then; however, if I had an interest in those kinds of things, I might know a fair bit about his story, since a lot of it is still with me.”
“His history!” said I. “Nay, you may call it what you please,” said the curate; for indeed it is no more a history than it is a sermon. The way I came by it was this: some time ago, a grave, oddish kind of a man boarded at a farmer’s in this parish: the country people called him The Ghost; and he was known by the slouch in his gait, and the length of his stride. I was but little acquainted with him, for he never frequented any of the clubs hereabouts. Yet for all he used to walk a-nights, he was as gentle as a lamb at times; for I have seen him playing at teetotum with the p. xiichildren, on the great stone at the door of our churchyard.
“His story!” I said. “Well, you can call it whatever you want,” replied the curate; because honestly, it’s no more a story than it is a sermon. Here’s how I got it: some time ago, a serious, slightly strange man rented a room at a farmer’s place in this parish. The locals called him The Ghost; he was recognized by his slouchy walk and long strides. I didn’t know him well, since he never hung out at any of the local clubs. Still, even though he used to walk around at night, he could be as gentle as a lamb at times; I’ve seen him playing teetotum with the p. xiichildren on the big stone by the entrance of our churchyard.
“Soon after I was made curate, he left the parish, and went nobody knows whither; and in his room was found a bundle of papers, which was brought to me by his landlord. I began to read them, but I soon grew weary of the task; for, besides that the hand is intolerably bad, I could never find the author in one strain for two chapters together; and I don’t believe there’s a single syllogism from beginning to end.”
“Soon after I became curate, he left the parish and went who knows where; in his place, a bundle of papers was found, which his landlord brought to me. I started to read them, but I quickly got tired of it; not only was the handwriting really awful, but I could never find the author sticking to one style for two chapters in a row, and I don’t think there’s a single logical argument from beginning to end.”
“I should be glad to see this medley,” said I. “You shall see it now,” answered the curate, “for I always take it along with me a-shooting.” “How came it so torn?” “’Tis excellent wadding,” said the curate.—This was a plea of expediency I was not in a condition to answer; for I had actually in my pocket great part of an edition of one of the German Illustrissimi, for the very same purpose. We exchanged books; and by that means (for the curate was a strenuous logician) we probably saved both.
“I’d love to see this mix,” I said. “You can see it now,” the curate replied, “because I always bring it with me when I go shooting.” “How did it get so torn?” I asked. “It’s great padding,” said the curate. This was a reason I wasn’t in a position to counter, since I actually had most of a copy of one of the German Illustrissimi in my pocket for the exact same reason. We swapped books, and through that (since the curate was a strong logician), we likely saved both.
When I returned to town, I had leisure to peruse the acquisition I had made: I found it a bundle of little episodes, put together without art, p. xiiiand of no importance on the whole, with something of nature, and little else in them. I was a good deal affected with some very trifling passages in it; and had the name of Marmontel, or a Richardson, been on the title-page—’tis odds that I should have wept: But
When I got back to town, I had the chance to look over what I had picked up: it turned out to be a collection of small stories, thrown together without flair, p. xiiiand overall not very significant, featuring some aspects of nature, and not much else. I was quite moved by a few minor moments in it; if the name Marmontel or Richardson had been on the cover, I probably would have cried. But
One is ashamed to be pleased with the works of one knows not whom.
One feels embarrassed to be happy about the work of someone unknown.
p. 15CHAPTER XI. [15]
ON BASHFULNESS.—A CHARACTER.—HIS VIEW ON THAT SUBJECT.
There is some rust about every man at the beginning; though in some nations (among the French for instance) the ideas of the inhabitants, from climate, or what other cause you will, are so vivacious, so eternally on the wing, that they must, even in small societies, have a frequent collision; the rust therefore will wear off sooner: but in Britain it often goes with a man to his grave; nay, he dares not even pen a hic jacet to speak out for him after his death.
There is some rust in every man at the start; however, in some countries (like France, for example), the people's ideas are so lively, so constantly changing, that even in small communities, they often clash; thus, the rust wears off quicker. But in Britain, it often stays with a person until their grave; in fact, he doesn't even dare to write a hic jacet to speak for him after he dies.
“Let them rub it off by travel,” said the baronet’s p. 16brother, who was a striking instance of excellent metal, shamefully rusted. I had drawn my chair near his. Let me paint the honest old man: ’tis but one passing sentence to preserve his image in my mind.
“Let them shake it off by traveling,” said the baronet’s brother, who was a perfect example of good character, unfortunately tarnished. I had pulled my chair closer to his. Let me describe the honest old man: it only takes one quick sentence to keep his image in my mind.
He sat in his usual attitude, with his elbow rested on his knee, and his fingers pressed on his cheek. His face was shaded by his hand; yet it was a face that might once have been well accounted handsome; its features were manly and striking, a dignity resided on his eyebrows, which were the largest I remember to have seen. His person was tall and well-made; but the indolence of his nature had now inclined it to corpulency.
He sat in his usual position, with his elbow resting on his knee and his fingers pressing against his cheek. His face was partially hidden by his hand; still, it was a face that could have once been considered handsome; his features were strong and striking, and there was a dignified look to his eyebrows, which were the biggest I've ever seen. He was tall and well-built, but his laid-back nature had now led him to gain some weight.
His remarks were few, and made only to his familiar friends; but they were such as the world might have heard with veneration: and his heart, uncorrupted by its ways, was ever warm in the cause of virtue and his friends.
His comments were few and only shared with his close friends; but they were the kind that the world would have listened to with respect: and his heart, untouched by its influences, was always warm in support of what was right and his friends.
He is now forgotten and gone! The last time I was at Silton Hall, I saw his chair stand in its corner by the fire-side; there was an additional cushion on it, and it was occupied by my young lady’s favourite lap dog. I drew near unperceived, p. 17and pinched its ears in the bitterness of my soul; the creature howled, and ran to its mistress. She did not suspect the author of its misfortune, but she bewailed it in the most pathetic terms; and kissing its lips, laid it gently on her lap, and covered it with a cambric handkerchief. I sat in my old friend’s seat; I heard the roar of mirth and gaiety around me: poor Ben Silton! I gave thee a tear then: accept of one cordial drop that falls to thy memory now.
He is now forgotten and gone! The last time I was at Silton Hall, I saw his chair standing in its corner by the fireplace; there was an extra cushion on it, and it was occupied by my lady's favorite lap dog. I approached unnoticed, p. 17and pinched its ears in the bitterness of my soul; the dog yelped and ran to its owner. She didn’t suspect who had caused its trouble, but she lamented it in the most heartfelt way; kissing its lips, she gently placed it on her lap and covered it with a cambric handkerchief. I sat in my old friend's seat; I heard the sounds of laughter and joy around me: poor Ben Silton! I shed a tear for you then: here’s one more heartfelt drop that falls in your memory now.
“They should wear it off by travel.”—Why, it is true, said I, that will go far; but then it will often happen, that in the velocity of a modern tour, and amidst the materials through which it is commonly made, the friction is so violent, that not only the rust, but the metal too, is lost in the progress.
“They should wear it off by travel.” —Well, it's true, I said, that can help a lot; but often, in the fast pace of today’s trips, and with the surroundings they usually involve, the wear is so intense that not only does the rust disappear, but the metal itself is lost along the way.
“Give me leave to correct the expression of your metaphor,” said Mr. Silton: “that is not always rust which is acquired by the inactivity of the body on which it preys; such, perhaps, is the case with me, though indeed I was never cleared from my youth; but (taking it in its first stage) it is rather an encrustation, which nature has given for purposes of the greatest wisdom.”
“Let me correct how you phrased your metaphor,” said Mr. Silton. “Not everything that looks like rust comes from a lack of activity in the body it affects; that might be true for me, though I’ve never fully moved past my youth. But if we look at it from the beginning, it’s more like a coating that nature provides for very wise purposes.”
“Nay, farther,” continued Mr. Silton, “there are two distinct sorts of what we call bashfulness; this, the awkwardness of a booby, which a few steps into the world will convert into the pertness of a coxcomb; that, a consciousness, which the most delicate feelings produce, and the most extensive knowledge cannot always remove.”
“Nay, further,” continued Mr. Silton, “there are two distinct kinds of what we call bashfulness; this, the awkwardness of a fool, which a few steps into the world will turn into the arrogance of a show-off; that, a self-awareness, which the most sensitive feelings create, and the broadest knowledge can't always eliminate.”
From the incidents I have already related, I imagine it will be concluded that Harley was of the latter species of bashful animals; at least, if Mr. Silton’s principle is just, it may be argued on this side; for the gradation of the first mentioned sort, it is certain, he never attained. Some part of his external appearance was modelled from the company of those gentlemen, whom the antiquity of a family, now possessed of bare £250 a year, entitled its representative to approach: these indeed were not many; great part of the property in his neighbourhood being in the hands of merchants, who had got rich by their lawful calling abroad, and the sons of stewards, who had got rich by their lawful calling at home: persons so perfectly versed p. 19in the ceremonial of thousands, tens of thousands, and hundreds of thousands (whose degrees of precedency are plainly demonstrable from the first page of the Complete Accomptant, or Young Man’s Best Pocket Companion) that a bow at church from them to such a man as Harley would have made the parson look back into his sermon for some precept of Christian humility.
From the stories I've shared, I think it's clear that Harley was one of those shy types; at least, if Mr. Silton's theory holds true, this can be argued. It's certain he never reached the level of confidence of the first type mentioned. Part of his appearance was shaped by the company of those gentlemen, whose family legacy, now bringing in a mere £250 a year, allowed them to get close to him. These gentlemen were few in number; most of the wealth in his area belonged to merchants who became rich through legitimate business overseas, and the sons of stewards who became wealthy through their respectable roles at home. They were so well-versed p. 19in the etiquette of dealing with thousands, tens of thousands, and even hundreds of thousands (whose rank and status are clearly laid out in the first page of the Complete Accomptant, or Young Man’s Best Pocket Companion) that a nod from them to someone like Harley at church would have made the pastor rethink his sermon for some lesson on Christian humility.
CHAPTER XII.
OF EARTHLY CONCERNS.
There are certain interests which the world supposes every man to have, and which therefore are properly enough termed worldly; but the world is apt to make an erroneous estimate: ignorant of the dispositions which constitute our happiness or misery, they bring to an undistinguished scale the means of the one, as connected with power, wealth, or grandeur, and of the other with their contraries. Philosophers and poets have often protested against this decision; but their arguments have p. 20been despised as declamatory, or ridiculed as romantic.
There are certain interests that the world assumes everyone has, which is why they are commonly referred to as worldly; however, the world tends to misjudge this: unaware of the factors that contribute to our happiness or misery, they mix together the means of achieving one, linked to power, wealth, or grandeur, and the other with their opposites. Philosophers and poets have frequently opposed this belief; yet their arguments have p. 20been dismissed as overly dramatic or mocked as fanciful.
There are never wanting to a young man some grave and prudent friends to set him right in this particular, if he need it; to watch his ideas as they arise, and point them to those objects which a wise man should never forget.
There are always some serious and sensible friends available to a young man to guide him if he needs it; to monitor his thoughts as they come up and direct them toward the things that a wise person should never overlook.
Harley did not want for some monitors of this sort. He was frequently told of men whose fortunes enabled them to command all the luxuries of life, whose fortunes were of their own acquirement: his envy was invited by a description of their happiness, and his emulation by a recital of the means which had procured it.
Harley didn’t lack for monitors like this. He often heard about men whose wealth allowed them to enjoy all of life’s luxuries, and whose fortunes they made themselves: hearing about their happiness sparked his envy, and their stories of how they achieved it inspired him to emulate them.
Harley was apt to hear those lectures with indifference; nay, sometimes they got the better of his temper; and as the instances were not always amiable, provoked, on his part, some reflections, which I am persuaded his good-nature would else have avoided.
Harley would often listen to those lectures with indifference; in fact, sometimes they would get under his skin, and since the situations weren't always pleasant, they made him reflect in ways that I believe his good nature would normally prevent.
Indeed, I have observed one ingredient, somewhat necessary in a man’s composition towards happiness, which people of feeling would do well to acquire; a certain respect for the follies of mankind: for there are so many fools whom the p. 21opinion of the world entitles to regard, whom accident has placed in heights of which they are unworthy, that he who cannot restrain his contempt or indignation at the sight will be too often quarrelling with the disposal of things to relish that share which is allotted to himself. I do not mean, however, to insinuate this to have been the case with Harley; on the contrary, if we might rely on his own testimony, the conceptions he had of pomp and grandeur served to endear the state which Providence had assigned him.
I've noticed one key trait that seems important for a man's happiness, which sensitive people should try to develop: a certain respect for the foolishness of humanity. There are so many fools who, thanks to society's views, are given importance and have found themselves in positions they don't deserve. Those who can't control their disdain or anger when they see this will often find themselves in conflict with the way things are, preventing them from appreciating their own circumstances. However, I don't mean to suggest that this applied to Harley; on the contrary, if we can trust his own words, his ideas about wealth and status made him appreciate the place that Providence had given him.
He lost his father, the last surviving of his parents, as I have already related, when he was a boy. The good man, from a fear of offending, as well as a regard to his son, had named him a variety of guardians; one consequence of which was, that they seldom met at all to consider the affairs of their ward; and when they did meet, their opinions were so opposite, that the only possible method of conciliation was the mediatory power of a dinner and a bottle, which commonly interrupted, not ended, the dispute; and after that interruption ceased, left the consulting parties in a condition not very proper for adjusting it. His education therefore had been but indifferently attended to; and p. 22after being taken from a country school, at which he had been boarded, the young gentleman was suffered to be his own master in the subsequent branches of literature, with some assistance from the parson of the parish in languages and philosophy, and from the exciseman in arithmetic and book-keeping. One of his guardians, indeed, who, in his youth, had been an inhabitant of the Temple, set him to read Coke upon Lyttelton: a book which is very properly put into the hands of beginners in that science, as its simplicity is accommodated to their understandings, and its size to their inclination. He profited but little by the perusal; but it was not without its use in the family: for his maiden aunt applied it commonly to the laudable purpose of pressing her rebellious linens to the folds she had allotted them.
He lost his father, the last of his parents, as I've already mentioned, when he was just a boy. The good man, out of fear of offending and concern for his son, appointed various guardians for him. One of the results was that they rarely met to discuss their ward's affairs; and when they did, their opinions were so different that the only way to settle things was over a dinner and a bottle, which often interrupted but didn't resolve the argument. After the meal, the parties involved were usually not in the right frame of mind to settle the issue. His education was therefore not given much attention; and after being taken from a boarding country school, the young man was allowed to manage his own studies, with some help from the local pastor for languages and philosophy, and from the customs officer for arithmetic and bookkeeping. One of his guardians, who had lived in the Temple in his youth, had him read Coke on Lyttelton, a book that is well-suited for beginners in that field since its straightforwardness is tailored to their understanding and its length suits their attention span. He didn't gain much from reading it, but it did have some utility in the household: his unmarried aunt often used it to flatten her rebellious linens into the folds she had set for them.
There were particularly two ways of increasing his fortune, which might have occurred to people of less foresight than the counsellors we have mentioned. One of these was, the prospect of his succeeding to an old lady, a distant relation, who was known to be possessed of a very large sum in the stocks: but in this their hopes were disappointed; for the young man was so untoward in p. 23his disposition, that, notwithstanding the instructions he daily received, his visits rather tended to alienate than gain the good-will of his kinswoman. He sometimes looked grave when the old lady told the jokes of her youth; he often refused to eat when she pressed him, and was seldom or never provided with sugar-candy or liquorice when she was seized with a fit of coughing: nay, he had once the rudeness to fall asleep while she was describing the composition and virtues of her favourite cholic-water. In short, be accommodated himself so ill to her humour, that she died, and did not leave him a farthing.
There were specifically two ways to grow his fortune that might have come to mind for people with less foresight than the advisors we mentioned. One of these was the chance of inheriting from an elderly relative, who was known to have a substantial amount invested in stocks. However, their hopes were dashed; the young man was so awkward in his behavior that, despite the advice he received daily, his visits ended up pushing his relative away rather than earning her favor. He sometimes looked serious when the old lady shared her youthful stories, often turned down food when she offered it, and was rarely provided with sweets or licorice when she had a coughing fit. In fact, he once had the audacity to fall asleep while she was explaining the ingredients and benefits of her favorite tonic for stomach aches. In short, he adapted so poorly to her personality that she passed away without leaving him a single penny.
The other method pointed out to him was an endeavour to get a lease of some crown-lands, which lay contiguous to his little paternal estate. This, it was imagined, might be easily procured, as the crown did not draw so much rent as Harley could afford to give, with very considerable profit to himself; and the then lessee had rendered himself so obnoxious to the ministry, by the disposal of his vote at an election, that he could not expect a renewal. This, however, needed some interest with the great, which Harley or his father never possessed.
The other option suggested to him was to try to get a lease on some crown land that was next to his small family estate. It was believed that this could be easily obtained since the crown didn't charge as much rent as Harley could pay, allowing him to profit significantly. The current lessee had made himself so unpopular with the government by selling his vote during an election that he couldn't hope for a renewal. However, this approach required some connections with powerful people, which neither Harley nor his father had.
p. 24His neighbour, Mr. Walton, having heard of this affair, generously offered his assistance to accomplish it. He told him, that though he had long been a stranger to courtiers, yet he believed there were some of them who might pay regard to his recommendation; and that, if he thought it worth the while to take a London journey upon the business, he would furnish him with a letter of introduction to a baronet of his acquaintance, who had a great deal to say with the first lord of the treasury.
p. 24His neighbor, Mr. Walton, hearing about this situation, kindly offered to help. He mentioned that even though he hadn't dealt with courtiers in a while, he believed some of them would listen to his recommendation. He suggested that if his neighbor thought it was worthwhile to make a trip to London for this matter, he would provide him with an introduction letter to a baronet he knew, who had a significant influence with the first lord of the treasury.
When his friends heard of this offer, they pressed him with the utmost earnestness to accept of it.
When his friends heard about this offer, they urged him with great seriousness to accept it.
They did not fail to enumerate the many advantages which a certain degree of spirit and assurance gives a man who would make a figure in the world: they repeated their instances of good fortune in others, ascribed them all to a happy forwardness of disposition; and made so copious a recital of the disadvantages which attend the opposite weakness, that a stranger, who had heard them, would have been led to imagine, that in the British code there was some disqualifying statute against any citizen who should be convicted of—modesty.
They made sure to list all the benefits that having a certain level of confidence and assurance brings to someone wanting to stand out in the world: they shared their examples of good luck in others, attributing it all to a fortunate boldness of character; and they provided such a lengthy account of the drawbacks that come with the opposite issue, that anyone listening would think there was some law in Britain that disqualified any citizen found guilty of—modesty.
CHAPTER XIII.
THE SENSITIVE MAN IN LOVE.
The day before that on which he set out, he went to take leave of Mr. Walton.—We would conceal nothing;—there was another person of the family to whom also the visit was intended, on whose account, perhaps, there were some tenderer feelings in the bosom of Harley than his gratitude for the friendly notice of that gentleman (though he was seldom deficient in that virtue) could inspire. Mr. Walton had a daughter; and such a daughter! we will attempt some description of her by and by.
The day before he left, he went to say goodbye to Mr. Walton. We wouldn’t hide anything; there was another member of the family that he intended to visit, for whom Harley might have felt deeper emotions than just gratitude for the friendly attention from that man (even though he was usually good at expressing that). Mr. Walton had a daughter; and she was quite an extraordinary daughter! We’ll try to describe her later.
Harley’s notions of the καλον, or beautiful, were not always to be defined, nor indeed such as the world would always assent to, though we could define them. A blush, a phrase of affability to an inferior, a tear at a moving tale, were to him, like p. 26the Cestus of Cytherea, unequalled in conferring beauty. For all these Miss Walton was remarkable; but as these, like the above-mentioned Cestus, are perhaps still more powerful when the wearer is possessed of some degree of beauty, commonly so called, it happened, that, from this cause, they had more than usual power in the person of that young lady.
Harley’s ideas about beauty weren’t always easy to define, and not everyone would agree with them, even though we could explain them. A blush, a kind word to someone less important, a tear during a touching story, were for him, like the Cestus of Cytherea, unmatched in creating beauty. Miss Walton had all these qualities; however, just like the aforementioned Cestus, they tend to be even more effective when the person has some level of conventional beauty. This meant that, because of this, they had a stronger impact in the case of that young lady.
She was now arrived at that period of life which takes, or is supposed to take, from the flippancy of girlhood those sprightlinesses with which some good-natured old maids oblige the world at three-score. She had been ushered into life (as that word is used in the dialect of St. James’s) at seventeen, her father being then in parliament, and living in London: at seventeen, therefore, she had been a universal toast; her health, now she was four-and-twenty, was only drank by those who knew her face at least. Her complexion was mellowed into a paleness, which certainly took from her beauty; but agreed, at least Harley used to say so, with the pensive softness of her mind. Her eyes were of that gentle hazel colour which is rather mild than piercing; and, except when they were lighted up by good-humour, which was frequently the case, p. 27were supposed by the fine gentlemen to want fire. Her air and manner were elegant in the highest degree, and were as sure of commanding respect as their mistress was far from demanding it. Her voice was inexpressibly soft; it was, according to that incomparable simile of Otway’s,
She had now reached that stage in life which takes, or is supposed to take, the youthful liveliness of girlhood and replaces it with the charm that some kind-hearted older women provide at sixty. She had entered society (as that phrase is used in the circles of St. James’s) at seventeen, her father being a member of parliament and living in London. So, at seventeen, she had been the toast of the town; now, at twenty-four, her health was only toasted by those who recognized her face. Her complexion had settled into a pale hue that somewhat diminished her beauty; however, it was in harmony, at least as Harley used to say, with the gentle sensitivity of her mind. Her eyes were a soft hazel color, more gentle than intense; and except when brightened by good humor, which was often, p. 27 the stylish gentlemen thought they lacked intensity. Her demeanor and manner were supremely elegant, commanding respect without her needing to demand it. Her voice was incredibly soft; it was, according to that unmatched comparison by Otway,
—“like the shepherd’s pipe upon the mountains,
When all his little flock’s at feed before him.”—“like the shepherd's flute on the mountains,
when all his little flock is grazing in front of him.”
The effect it had upon Harley, himself used to paint ridiculously enough; and ascribed it to powers, which few believed, and nobody cared for.
The effect it had on Harley, who was used to painting in a rather ridiculous way; and he attributed it to abilities that few people believed in, and nobody cared about.
Her conversation was always cheerful, but rarely witty; and without the smallest affectation of learning, had as much sentiment in it as would have puzzled a Turk, upon his principles of female materialism, to account for. Her beneficence was unbounded; indeed the natural tenderness of her heart might have been argued, by the frigidity of a casuist, as detracting from her virtue in this respect, for her humanity was a feeling, not a principle: but minds like Harley’s are not very apt to make this distinction, and generally give our virtue credit for all that benevolence which is instinctive in our nature.
Her conversations were always cheerful, but rarely clever; and without any hint of pretentiousness, they carried as much feeling in them that would have confused a Turk, given his views on female materialism. Her generosity was limitless; in fact, the natural kindness of her heart could be argued by a cold scholar as something that detracts from her virtue in this regard, because her compassion was a feeling, not a principle: but minds like Harley’s aren’t really inclined to make that distinction and usually attribute all the benevolence to virtue that comes naturally to us.
As her father had some years retired to the p. 28country, Harley had frequent opportunities of seeing her. He looked on her for some time merely with that respect and admiration which her appearance seemed to demand, and the opinion of others conferred upon her from this cause, perhaps, and from that extreme sensibility of which we have taken frequent notice, Harley was remarkably silent in her presence. He heard her sentiments with peculiar attention, sometimes with looks very expressive of approbation; but seldom declared his opinion on the subject, much less made compliments to the lady on the justness of her remarks.
As her father had been retired to the p. 28country for some years, Harley often had the chance to see her. At first, he regarded her with the respect and admiration that her looks seemed to demand, along with the praise others gave her. Perhaps due to this and her extreme sensitivity, which we've noted several times, Harley was notably quiet around her. He listened to her thoughts with particular attention, sometimes showing clear signs of approval, but rarely shared his own opinions or complimented her on the accuracy of her remarks.
From this very reason it was that Miss Walton frequently took more particular notice of him than of other visitors, who, by the laws of precedency, were better entitled to it: it was a mode of politeness she had peculiarly studied, to bring to the line of that equality, which is ever necessary for the ease of our guests, those whose sensibility had placed them below it.
From this very reason, Miss Walton often paid more attention to him than to other visitors, who, according to the rules of precedence, were more deserving of it. It was a style of politeness she had particularly honed, to level the playing field and ensure that those whose sensitivity had placed them at a disadvantage felt comfortable and at ease among her guests.
Harley saw this; for though he was a child in the drama of the world, yet was it not altogether owing to a want of knowledge on his part; on the contrary, the most delicate consciousness of propriety often kindled that blush which marred the p. 29performance of it: this raised his esteem something above what the most sanguine descriptions of her goodness had been able to do; for certain it is, that notwithstanding the laboured definitions which very wise men have given us of the inherent beauty of virtue, we are always inclined to think her handsomest when she condescends to smile upon ourselves.
Harley noticed this; even though he was just a kid in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t just because he lacked understanding. In fact, his keen awareness of what was appropriate often caused the blush that interrupted his performance of it: this raised his opinion of her a bit higher than what the most enthusiastic accounts of her goodness could achieve. It's true that despite all the elaborate explanations wise people have provided about the beauty of virtue, we tend to think it looks best when it shows kindness to us.
It would be trite to observe the easy gradation from esteem to love: in the bosom of Harley there scarce needed a transition; for there were certain seasons when his ideas were flushed to a degree much above their common complexion. In times not credulous of inspiration, we should account for this from some natural cause; but we do not mean to account for it at all; it were sufficient to describe its effects; but they were sometimes so ludicrous, as might derogate from the dignity of the sensations which produced them to describe. They were treated indeed as such by most of Harley’s sober friends, who often laughed very heartily at the awkward blunders of the real Harley, when the different faculties, which should have prevented them, were entirely occupied by the ideal. In some of these paroxysms of fancy, Miss Walton did not p. 30fail to be introduced; and the picture which had been drawn amidst the surrounding objects of unnoticed levity was now singled out to be viewed through the medium of romantic imagination: it was improved of course, and esteem was a word inexpressive of the feelings which it excited.
It would be cliché to point out the easy shift from respect to love: with Harley, there hardly needed to be a transition; there were times when his thoughts were so passionate they exceeded their usual nature. In periods not open to inspiration, we might explain this through some natural cause; but we don’t intend to explain it at all; it’s enough to describe its effects; yet they were sometimes so ridiculous that describing them might diminish the significance of the feelings that caused them. Most of Harley’s serious friends treated them as such, often laughing heartily at the awkward mistakes of the real Harley, when the various faculties that should have kept them in check were completely consumed by the ideal. In some of these bursts of imagination, Miss Walton did not p. 30miss being introduced; and the image that had been created among the surrounding lightheartedness was now highlighted to be seen through the lens of romantic imagination: it was naturally enhanced, and ‘esteem’ was a word that couldn’t fully capture the feelings it stirred.
CHAPTER XIV.
He begins his journey—the beggar and his dog.
He had taken leave of his aunt on the eve of his intended departure; but the good lady’s affection for her nephew interrupted her sleep, and early as it was next morning when Harley came downstairs to set out, he found her in the parlour with a tear on her cheek, and her caudle-cup in her hand. She knew enough of physic to prescribe against going abroad of a morning with an empty stomach. She gave her blessing with the draught; her instructions she had delivered the night before. They consisted mostly of negatives, for London, in p. 31her idea, was so replete with temptations that it needed the whole armour of her friendly cautions to repel their attacks.
He had said goodbye to his aunt the night before his planned departure; however, her love for her nephew kept her awake, and early the next morning when Harley came downstairs to leave, he found her in the living room with a tear on her cheek and her cup of caudle in her hand. She knew enough about health to advise against traveling on an empty stomach in the morning. She gave him her blessing along with the drink; her instructions had been delivered the night before. They mostly consisted of things not to do, as she believed that London, in p. 31, was so full of temptations that he would need all her protective advice to fend them off.
Peter stood at the door. We have mentioned this faithful fellow formerly: Harley’s father had taken him up an orphan, and saved him from being cast on the parish; and he had ever since remained in the service of him and of his son. Harley shook him by the hand as he passed, smiling, as if he had said, “I will not weep.” He sprung hastily into the chaise that waited for him; Peter folded up the step. “My dear master,” said he, shaking the solitary lock that hung on either side of his head, “I have been told as how London is a sad place.” He was choked with the thought, and his benediction could not be heard:—but it shall be heard, honest Peter! where these tears will add to its energy.
Peter stood at the door. We've talked about this loyal guy before: Harley's father had taken him in as an orphan, saving him from being left on the streets; and he had since stayed in the service of both him and his son. Harley shook his hand as he passed by, smiling as if to say, “I won’t cry.” He quickly jumped into the carriage waiting for him; Peter folded up the step. “My dear master,” he said, shaking the few strands of hair that hung on either side of his head, “I’ve heard that London is a terrible place.” He was overwhelmed by the thought, and his blessing could not be heard—but it will be heard, honest Peter! where these tears will give it more strength.
In a few hours Harley reached the inn where he proposed breakfasting, but the fulness of his heart would not suffer him to eat a morsel. He walked out on the road, and gaining a little height, stood gazing on that quarter he had left. He looked for his wonted prospect, his fields, his woods, and his hills: they were lost in the distant clouds! He p. 32pencilled them on the clouds, and bade them farewell with a sigh!
In just a few hours, Harley arrived at the inn where he planned to have breakfast, but the emotions in his heart prevented him from eating even a bite. He stepped outside onto the road, climbed up a bit, and gazed at the area he had just left. He looked for his familiar view—his fields, his woods, and his hills; they were all lost in the distant clouds! He p. 32sketched them in the clouds and said goodbye with a sigh!
He sat down on a large stone to take out a little pebble from his shoe, when he saw, at some distance, a beggar approaching him. He had on a loose sort of coat, mended with different-coloured rags, amongst which the blue and the russet were the predominant. He had a short knotty stick in his hand, and on the top of it was stuck a ram’s horn; his knees (though he was no pilgrim) had worn the stuff of his breeches; he wore no shoes, and his stockings had entirely lost that part of them which should have covered his feet and ankles; in his face, however, was the plump appearance of good humour; he walked a good round pace, and a crook-legged dog trotted at his heels.
He sat down on a big rock to take a tiny pebble out of his shoe when he noticed a beggar coming toward him from a distance. He wore a loose coat patched with rags of different colors, mostly blue and brown. He held a short, knotted stick in his hand with a ram's horn stuck on top of it. His knees, though he wasn't a pilgrim, had worn through the fabric of his pants. He didn't have any shoes, and his socks were completely worn out where they should have covered his feet and ankles. However, his face had a cheerful roundness to it. He walked at a steady pace, and a crooked-legged dog followed him closely.
“Our delicacies,” said Harley to himself, “are fantastic; they are not in nature! that beggar walks over the sharpest of these stones barefooted, whilst I have lost the most delightful dream in the world, from the smallest of them happening to get into my shoe.” The beggar had by this time come up, and, pulling off a piece of hat, asked charity of Harley; the dog began to beg too:—it was impossible p. 33to resist both; and, in truth, the want of shoes and stockings had made both unnecessary, for Harley had destined sixpence for him before. The beggar, on receiving it, poured forth blessings without number; and, with a sort of smile on his countenance, said to Harley “that if he wanted to have his fortune told”—Harley turned his eye briskly on the beggar: it was an unpromising look for the subject of a prediction, and silenced the prophet immediately. “I would much rather learn,” said Harley, “what it is in your power to tell me: your trade must be an entertaining one; sit down on this stone, and let me know something of your profession; I have often thought of turning fortune-teller for a week or two myself.”
“Our treats,” Harley said to himself, “are amazing; they don't exist in reality! That beggar is walking barefoot over the sharpest stones, while I've lost the most wonderful dream because the smallest one got into my shoe.” By this time, the beggar approached, took off a piece from his hat, and asked Harley for some change; even the dog started begging too: it was impossible to resist both; in fact, Harley had already planned to give him sixpence. When the beggar received it, he showered Harley with countless blessings, and with a sort of smile on his face, said to Harley, “If you want to have your fortune told”—Harley quickly glanced at the beggar: it was not a promising look for a prediction, and it immediately shut the beggar up. “I would much rather hear,” Harley said, “what you can tell me: your job must be quite interesting; sit down on this stone and let me know something about your profession; I’ve often thought about trying to be a fortune-teller for a week or two myself.”
“Master,” replied the beggar, “I like your frankness much; God knows I had the humour of plain-dealing in me from a child, but there is no doing with it in this world; we must live as we can, and lying is, as you call it, my profession, but I was in some sort forced to the trade, for I dealt once in telling truth.
“Master,” replied the beggar, “I really appreciate your honesty; God knows I've had a straightforward nature since I was a kid, but it doesn’t work in this world; we have to survive as best we can, and lying is, as you say, my job. But I was somewhat pushed into this line of work since I used to be in the business of telling the truth.”
“I was a labourer, sir, and gained as much as to make me live: I never laid by indeed: for I was p. 34reckoned a piece of a wag, and your wags, I take it, are seldom rich, Mr. Harley.”
“I was a laborer, sir, and earned just enough to get by: I never saved any money, actually, because I was considered a bit of a jokester, and I think it's safe to say that your jokesters are rarely wealthy, Mr. Harley.”
“So,” said Harley, “you seem to know me.”
“So,” said Harley, “you seem to know me.”
“Ay, there are few folks in the country that I don’t know something of: how should I tell fortunes else?”
“Aye, there are few people in the country that I don’t know something about: how else would I tell fortunes?”
“True; but to go on with your story: you were a labourer, you say, and a wag; your industry, I suppose, you left with your old trade, but your humour you preserve to be of use to you in your new.”
"True; but to continue with your story: you were a laborer, you say, and a jokester; your hard work, I guess, you left behind with your old job, but your humor you keep to help you in your new one."
“What signifies sadness, sir? a man grows lean on’t: but I was brought to my idleness by degrees; first I could not work, and it went against my stomach to work ever after. I was seized with a jail fever at the time of the assizes being in the county where I lived; for I was always curious to get acquainted with the felons, because they are commonly fellows of much mirth and little thought, qualities I had ever an esteem for. In the height of this fever, Mr. Harley, the house where I lay took fire, and burnt to the ground; I was carried out in that condition, and lay all the rest of my illness in a barn. I got the better of my disease, however, but I was so weak that I spit p. 35blood whenever I attempted to work. I had no relation living that I knew of, and I never kept a friend above a week, when I was able to joke; I seldom remained above six months in a parish, so that I might have died before I had found a settlement in any: thus I was forced to beg my bread, and a sorry trade I found it, Mr. Harley. I told all my misfortunes truly, but they were seldom believed; and the few who gave me a halfpenny as they passed did it with a shake of the head, and an injunction not to trouble them with a long story. In short, I found that people don’t care to give alms without some security for their money; a wooden leg or a withered arm is a sort of draught upon heaven for those who choose to have their money placed to account there; so I changed my plan, and, instead of telling my own misfortunes, began to prophesy happiness to others. This I found by much the better way: folks will always listen when the tale is their own, and of many who say they do not believe in fortune-telling, I have known few on whom it had not a very sensible effect. I pick up the names of their acquaintance; amours and little squabbles are easily gleaned among servants and neighbours; and p. 36indeed people themselves are the best intelligencers in the world for our purpose: they dare not puzzle us for their own sakes, for every one is anxious to hear what they wish to believe, and they who repeat it, to laugh at it when they have done, are generally more serious than their hearers are apt to imagine. With a tolerable good memory, and some share of cunning, with the help of walking a-nights over heaths and church-yards, with this, and showing the tricks of that there dog, whom I stole from the serjeant of a marching regiment (and by the way, he can steal too upon occasion), I make shift to pick up a livelihood. My trade, indeed, is none of the honestest; yet people are not much cheated neither who give a few half-pence for a prospect of happiness, which I have heard some persons say is all a man can arrive at in this world. But I must bid you good day, sir, for I have three miles to walk before noon, to inform some boarding-school young ladies whether their husbands are to be peers of the realm or captains in the army: a question which I promised to answer them by that time.”
"What does sadness even mean, sir? It makes a person lose weight: but I became idle little by little; first I couldn’t work, and then it became unbearable to work after that. I caught jail fever while the trials were happening in my county; I was always interested in getting to know the criminals because they're usually pretty carefree and not too deep, qualities I have always valued. At the peak of this fever, Mr. Harley, the place where I was staying caught fire and burned down; I was taken out in that state and spent the rest of my illness in a barn. I managed to recover, but I was so weak that I coughed up blood whenever I tried to work. I didn’t know of any living relatives, and I never kept a friend for more than a week when I was able to joke; I rarely stayed in one parish for more than six months, so I might have died before I found a place to settle down: thus I had to beg for my food, and what a sorry business I found it, Mr. Harley. I shared all my troubles honestly, but people rarely believed me; and the few who tossed me a penny as they walked by did it while shaking their heads, telling me not to bother them with long stories. In short, I discovered that people don’t like to give without some assurance for their money; a wooden leg or a disabled arm serves as a kind of offering to heaven for those who want their money accounted there; so I changed my approach, and instead of sharing my own tragedies, I started predicting happiness for others. I found this was much more effective: folks will always listen when the story is about them, and among those who claim they don’t believe in fortune-telling, I’ve seen few who weren’t affected by it in some way. I gather names of their acquaintances; romances and little arguments are easily picked up from servants and neighbors; and indeed, people themselves are the best sources of information for our purpose: they won’t complicate things for their own sake, as everyone wants to hear what they wish to be true, and those who repeat it, just to laugh about it later, are often more serious than anyone thinks. With a decent memory and a bit of cunning, along with wandering around at night over moors and graveyards, and by showing off the tricks of that dog I stole from a sergeant in a marching regiment (by the way, he can steal too when he needs to), I manage to make a living. My profession isn't exactly the most honest; yet people aren’t really fooled much when they pay a few pennies for a glimpse of happiness, which I’ve heard some say is all a person can hope for in this world. But I must say goodbye, sir, because I have three miles to walk before noon to let some girls at a boarding school know if their future husbands will be nobles or army captains: a question I promised to answer them by that time."
Harley had drawn a shilling from his pocket; but Virtue bade him consider on whom he was p. 37going to bestow it. Virtue held back his arm; but a milder form, a younger sister of Virtue’s, not so severe as Virtue, nor so serious as Pity, smiled upon him; his fingers lost their compression, nor did Virtue offer to catch the money as it fell. It had no sooner reached the ground than the watchful cur (a trick he had been taught) snapped it up, and, contrary to the most approved method of stewardship, delivered it immediately into the hands of his master.
Harley had pulled a coin from his pocket, but Virtue urged him to think about who he was going to give it to. Virtue held back his arm, but a gentler version, a younger sister of Virtue—less strict than Virtue and not as serious as Pity—smiled at him. His fingers relaxed, and Virtue didn’t try to grab the money as it fell. As soon as it hit the ground, the observant dog (a trick he had learned) quickly picked it up and, contrary to the best practices of managing money, handed it straight to his owner.
CHAPTER XIX.
HE GOES ON A SECOND TRIP TO THE BARONET’S. THE ADMIRABLE DESIRE OF A YOUNG MAN TO BE SEEN AS IMPORTANT BY THE WORLD.
We have related, in a former chapter, the little success of his first visit to the great man, for whom he had the introductory letter from Mr. Walton. To people of equal sensibility, the influence of those trifles we mentioned on his deportment will not appear surprising, but to his friends in the p. 38country they could not be stated, nor would they have allowed them any place in the account. In some of their letters, therefore, which he received soon after, they expressed their surprise at his not having been more urgent in his application, and again recommended the blushless assiduity of successful merit.
We previously discussed the limited success of his first visit to the important person, for whom he had an introductory letter from Mr. Walton. For those who share similar feelings, the impact of the small things we mentioned on his behavior won’t seem surprising, but to his friends in the p. 38country, it couldn’t be understood, nor would they have given it any significance in their accounts. In some letters he received shortly after, they expressed their surprise that he hadn’t been more insistent in his approach, and once again encouraged the bold persistence of someone with proven success.
He resolved to make another attempt at the baronet’s; fortified with higher notions of his own dignity, and with less apprehension of repulse. In his way to Grosvenor Square he began to ruminate on the folly of mankind, who affixed those ideas of superiority to riches, which reduced the minds of men, by nature equal with the more fortunate, to that sort of servility which he felt in his own. By the time he had reached the Square, and was walking along the pavement which led to the baronet’s, he had brought his reasoning on the subject to such a point, that the conclusion, by every rule of logic, should have led him to a thorough indifference in his approaches to a fellow-mortal, whether that fellow-mortal was possessed of six or six thousand pounds a year. It is probable, however, that the premises had been improperly formed: for it is certain, that when he p. 39approached the great man’s door he felt his heart agitated by an unusual pulsation.
He decided to try again at the baronet’s place, feeling more confident in his own worth and less worried about being rejected. On his way to Grosvenor Square, he started to think about the foolishness of people, who attached ideas of superiority to wealth, which made those who were naturally equal to the more fortunate feel a kind of servility, just like he did. By the time he reached the Square and was walking along the path leading to the baronet’s, he had thought through the issue so thoroughly that, by all logical standards, he should have felt completely indifferent when approaching another person, regardless of whether that person had six pounds or six thousand a year. However, it seems that his reasoning was off: when he got close to the great man’s door, he could feel his heart racing with an unusual excitement.
He had almost reached it, when he observed among gentleman coming out, dressed in a white frock and a red laced waistcoat, with a small switch in his hand, which he seemed to manage with a particular good grace. As he passed him on the steps, the stranger very politely made him a bow, which Harley returned, though he could not remember ever having seen him before. He asked Harley, in the same civil manner, if he was going to wait on his friend the baronet. “For I was just calling,” said he, “and am sorry to find that he is gone for some days into the country.”
He had almost reached it when he noticed a gentleman coming out, dressed in a white coat and a red-laced waistcoat, holding a small whip that he carried with remarkable elegance. As the stranger passed him on the steps, he politely bowed, which Harley returned, even though he couldn't recall ever having seen him before. The man asked Harley, in the same courteous way, if he was going to visit his friend the baronet. "I was just on my way to see him," he said, "and I'm sorry to hear that he has gone out to the country for a few days."
Harley thanked him for his information, and was turning from the door, when the other observed that it would be proper to leave his name, and very obligingly knocked for that purpose.
Harley thanked him for the information and was turning away from the door when the other person pointed out that it would be appropriate to leave his name, and he kindly knocked to do so.
“Here is a gentleman, Tom, who meant to have waited on your master.”
“Here’s a guy, Tom, who intended to see your boss.”
“Your name, if you please, sir?”
“Could I have your name, please, sir?”
“Harley.”
"Harley."
“You’ll remember, Tom, Harley.”
"You'll remember, Tom, Harley."
The door was shut. “Since we are here,” said p. 40he, “we shall not lose our walk if we add a little to it by a turn or two in Hyde Park.”
The door was closed. “Now that we’re here,” he said, “let’s make the most of our walk by taking a turn or two in Hyde Park.”
He accompanied this proposal with a second bow, and Harley accepted of it by another in return.
He followed up this proposal with another bow, and Harley responded with a bow in return.
The conversation, as they walked, was brilliant on the side of his companion. The playhouse, the opera, with every occurrence in high life, he seemed perfectly master of; and talked of some reigning beauties of quality in a manner the most feeling in the world. Harley admired the happiness of his vivacity, and, opposite as it was to the reserve of his own nature, began to be much pleased with its effects.
The conversation as they walked was impressive on the part of his companion. He seemed to know everything about the theater, the opera, and all the happenings in high society, and he spoke about some of the popular beauties of the elite in the most heartfelt way. Harley admired the joy of his liveliness, and, as different as it was from his own reserved nature, he started to really appreciate its impact.
Though I am not of opinion with some wise men, that the existence of objects depends on idea, yet I am convinced that their appearance is not a little influenced by it. The optics of some minds are in so unlucky a perspective as to throw a certain shade on every picture that is presented to them, while those of others (of which number was Harley), like the mirrors of the ladies, have a wonderful effect in bettering their complexions. Through such a medium perhaps he was looking on his present companion.
Though I don’t agree with some smart people that the existence of things depends on ideas, I do believe that how things appear is definitely influenced by them. Some people's perspectives are so unfortunate that they cast a shadow on every image presented to them, while others (like Harley) have a remarkable ability to enhance how things look. Perhaps he was seeing his current companion through such a lens.
“What if we should go in and dine here, if you happen not to be engaged, sir?” said the young gentleman. “It is not impossible but we shall meet with some original or other; it is a sort of humour I like hugely.”
“What if we go in and have dinner here, if you’re not busy, sir?” said the young man. “It’s possible we might run into someone interesting; it's a kind of humor I really enjoy.”
Harley made no objection, and the stranger showed him the way into the parlour.
Harley didn't object, and the stranger guided him into the living room.
He was placed, by the courtesy of his introductor, in an arm-chair that stood at one side of the fire. Over against him was seated a man of a grave considering aspect, with that look of sober prudence which indicates what is commonly called a warm man. He wore a pretty large wig, which had once been white, but was now of a brownish yellow; his coat was one of those modest-coloured drabs which mock the injuries of dust and dirt; two jack-boots concealed, in part, the well-mended knees of an old pair of buckskin breeches; while the spotted handkerchief round his neck preserved p. 42at once its owner from catching cold and his neck-cloth from being dirtied. Next him sat another man, with a tankard in his hand and a quid of tobacco in his cheek, whose eye was rather more vivacious, and whose dress was something smarter.
He was seated, thanks to his introducer, in an armchair next to the fire. Across from him sat a serious-looking man, with the kind of careful demeanor that suggests someone who's financially stable. He wore a rather large wig that used to be white but had faded to a brownish yellow; his coat was a modest drab color that hid dirt and dust well; two jack-boots partially covered the well-repaired knees of an old pair of buckskin breeches; while the spotted handkerchief around his neck kept him from catching cold and also protected his neckcloth from getting dirty. Next to him sat another man, holding a tankard and chewing tobacco, who had a livelier expression and a somewhat fancier outfit.
The first-mentioned gentleman took notice that the room had been so lately washed, as not to have had time to dry, and remarked that wet lodging was unwholesome for man or beast. He looked round at the same time for a poker to stir the fire with, which, he at last observed to the company, the people of the house had removed in order to save their coals. This difficulty, however, he overcame by the help of Harley’s stick, saying, “that as they should, no doubt, pay for their fire in some shape or other, he saw no reason why they should not have the use of it while they sat.”
The first gentleman noticed that the room had just been cleaned and hadn't dried yet, mentioning that a wet place is unhealthy for both people and animals. He looked around for a poker to use for the fire, finally pointing out to the group that the homeowners had taken it away to save on coal. However, he solved this problem with Harley’s stick, saying, “Since they would surely pay for the fire in some way, he saw no reason why they shouldn’t use it while they were sitting here.”
The door was now opened for the admission of dinner. “I don’t know how it is with you, gentlemen,” said Harley’s new acquaintance, “but I am afraid I shall not be able to get down a morsel at this horrid mechanical hour of dining.” He sat down, however, and did not show any want of appetite by his eating. He took upon him the p. 43carving of the meat, and criticised on the goodness of the pudding.
The door was now open for dinner to be served. “I don’t know about you guys,” said Harley’s new acquaintance, “but I’m worried I won’t be able to eat a bite at this terrible hour for dinner.” He sat down, though, and didn’t seem to lack an appetite as he started eating. He took on the responsibility of carving the meat and made comments about how good the pudding was.
When the table-cloth was removed, he proposed calling for some punch, which was readily agreed to; he seemed at first inclined to make it himself, but afterwards changed his mind, and left that province to the waiter, telling him to have it pure West Indian, or he could not taste a drop of it.
When the tablecloth was taken away, he suggested ordering some punch, which everyone quickly agreed to. At first, he seemed eager to make it himself, but then he changed his mind and let the waiter handle it, telling him to make sure it was pure West Indian, or he wouldn’t touch a drop.
When the punch was brought he undertook to fill the glasses and call the toasts. “The King.”—The toast naturally produced politics. It is the privilege of Englishmen to drink the king’s health, and to talk of his conduct. The man who sat opposite to Harley (and who by this time, partly from himself, and partly from his acquaintance on his left hand, was discovered to be a grazier) observed, “That it was a shame for so many pensioners to be allowed to take the bread out of the mouth of the poor.”
When the punch was served, he took it upon himself to fill the glasses and propose the toasts. “To the King.” This naturally led to a political discussion. It’s the right of Englishmen to drink to the king’s health and to talk about his actions. The man sitting across from Harley (who, by this point, was identified as a grazier, partly from himself and partly from his acquaintance on his left) remarked, “It’s a disgrace that so many pensioners are allowed to take food away from the poor.”
“Ay, and provisions,” said his friend, “were never so dear in the memory of man; I wish the king and his counsellors would look to that.”
“Yeah, and food,” said his friend, “has never been so expensive that anyone can remember; I wish the king and his advisors would pay attention to that.”
“As for the matter of provisions, neighbour Wrightson,” he replied, “I am sure the prices of cattle—”
“As for the issue of supplies, neighbor Wrightson,” he replied, “I’m sure the prices of cattle—”
p. 44A dispute would have probably ensued, but it was prevented by the spruce toastmaster, who gave a sentiment, and turning to the two politicians, “Pray, gentlemen,” said he, “let us have done with these musty politics: I would always leave them to the beer-suckers in Butcher Row. Come, let us have something of the fine arts. That was a damn’d hard match between Joe the Nailor and Tim Bucket. The knowing ones were cursedly taken in there! I lost a cool hundred myself, faith.”
p. 44A A disagreement probably would have broken out, but the spruce toastmaster stepped in with a toast and turned to the two politicians, saying, “Come on, gentlemen, let’s put aside these stale politics: I’d prefer to leave that to the drunks in Butcher Row. Let’s focus on something from the fine arts. That was a seriously tough match between Joe the Nailor and Tim Bucket. The experts really got caught off guard there! I lost a cool hundred myself, for sure.”
At mention of the cool hundred, the grazier threw his eyes aslant, with a mingled look of doubt and surprise; while the man at his elbow looked arch, and gave a short emphatical sort of cough.
At the mention of the cool hundred, the rancher glanced sideways, wearing a mix of doubt and surprise; meanwhile, the man beside him gave a knowing look and let out a brief, pointed cough.
Both seemed to be silenced, however, by this intelligence; and while the remainder of the punch lasted the conversation was wholly engrossed by the gentleman with the fine waistcoat, who told a great many “immense comical stories” and “confounded smart things,” as he termed them, acted and spoken by lords, ladies, and young bucks of quality, of his acquaintance. At last, the grazier, pulling out a watch, of a very unusual size, and telling the hour, said that he had an appointment. p. 45“Is it so late?” said the young gentleman; “then I am afraid I have missed an appointment already; but the truth is, I am cursedly given to missing of appointments.”
Both seemed to be silenced, however, by this information; and while the rest of the punch lasted, the conversation was completely dominated by the gentleman in the fine waistcoat, who shared a lot of “really funny stories” and “extremely clever things,” as he called them, acted out and spoken by lords, ladies, and young gentlemen of quality that he knew. Finally, the grazier, pulling out a very unusually large watch and checking the time, mentioned that he had an appointment. p. 45 “Is it really that late?” said the young gentleman; “then I’m afraid I’ve already missed an appointment; but the truth is, I have a terrible habit of missing appointments.”
When the grazier and he were gone, Harley turned to the remaining personage, and asked him if he knew that young gentleman. “A gentleman!” said he; “ay, he is one of your gentlemen at the top of an affidavit. I knew him, some years ago, in the quality of a footman; and I believe he had some times the honour to be a pimp. At last, some of the great folks, to whom he had been serviceable in both capacities, had him made a gauger; in which station he remains, and has the assurance to pretend an acquaintance with men of quality. The impudent dog! with a few shillings in his pocket, he will talk you three times as much as my friend Mundy there, who is worth nine thousand if he’s worth a farthing. But I know the rascal, and despise him, as he deserves.”
When the grazier and he had left, Harley turned to the remaining person and asked if he knew that young man. “A gentleman!” he replied; “yes, he’s one of those gentlemen who sign affidavits. I knew him years ago when he was a footman, and I believe he also had the honor of being a pimp. Eventually, some important people, whom he had helped in both roles, got him a job as a gauger, where he still is, and he has the nerve to act like he knows people of high status. The cheeky guy! With just a few coins in his pocket, he’ll talk your ear off, three times more than my friend Mundy over there, who is worth nine thousand if he’s worth anything at all. But I know the scoundrel and look down on him as he deserves.”
Harley began to despise him too, and to conceive some indignation at having sat with patience to hear such a fellow speak nonsense. But he corrected himself by reflecting that he was perhaps as well entertained, and instructed too, by this same modest p. 46gauger, as he should have been by such a man as he had thought proper to personate. And surely the fault may more properly be imputed to that rank where the futility is real than where it is feigned: to that rank whose opportunities for nobler accomplishments have only served to rear a fabric of folly which the untutored hand of affectation, even among the meanest of mankind, can imitate with success.
Harley started to hate him too and felt some anger at having patiently listened to such a guy spouting nonsense. But he corrected himself by thinking that he was probably just as entertained and even educated by this modest p. 46 gauger as he would have been by the kind of man he had assumed he was. And surely, the blame is better placed on the social class where the foolishness is genuine rather than where it's just put on: on that class whose chances for greater achievements have only led to the construction of a facade of foolishness that even the simplest people can imitate successfully.
CHAPTER XX.
HE GOES TO BEDLAM.—THE STRUGGLES OF A DAUGHTER.
Of those things called Sights in London, which every stranger is supposed desirous to see, Bedlam is one. To that place, therefore, an acquaintance of Harley’s, after having accompanied him to several other shows, proposed a visit. Harley objected to it, “because,” said he, “I think it an inhuman practice to expose the greatest misery with which our nature is afflicted to every idle visitant who can afford a trifling perquisite to the p. 47keeper; especially as it is a distress which the humane must see, with the painful reflection, that it is not in their power to alleviate it.” He was overpowered, however, by the solicitations of his friend and the other persons of the party (amongst whom were several ladies); and they went in a body to Moorfields.
Of the sights in London that every tourist is expected to want to see, Bedlam is one of them. So, an acquaintance of Harley’s suggested a visit there after joining him at several other attractions. Harley disagreed, saying, “I find it cruel to display the greatest suffering that afflicts humanity to any casual visitor who can pay a small fee to the p. 47keeper; especially since those with compassion must feel the painful awareness that they can’t do anything to help.” Nonetheless, he was persuaded by his friend and the others in the group (including several ladies), and they all headed to Moorfields together.
Their conductor led them first to the dismal mansions of those who are in the most horrid state of incurable madness. The clanking of chains, the wildness of their cries, and the imprecations which some of them uttered, formed a scene inexpressibly shocking. Harley and his companions, especially the female part of them, begged their guide to return; he seemed surprised at their uneasiness, and was with difficulty prevailed on to leave that part of the house without showing them some others: who, as he expressed it in the phrase of those that keep wild beasts for show, were much better worth seeing than any they had passed, being ten times more fierce and unmanageable.
Their guide took them first to the grim quarters of people in a really terrible state of incurable madness. The sound of clattering chains, the wildness of their screams, and the curses some of them shouted created a scene that was shockingly intense. Harley and his friends, especially the women, insisted that their guide take them back; he seemed taken aback by their distress and was only with great difficulty convinced to leave that section of the building without showing them some others, who, as he put it in the terminology of those who keep wild animals for display, were much more interesting to see than anyone they had already encountered, being ten times more aggressive and uncontrollable.
He led them next to that quarter where those reside who, as they are not dangerous to themselves or others, enjoy a certain degree of freedom, according to the state of their distemper.
He took them to the area where those who, since they aren't harmful to themselves or others, have a certain level of freedom, depending on their condition, live.
p. 48Harley had fallen behind his companions, looking at a man who was making pendulums with bits of thread and little balls of clay. He had delineated a segment of a circle on the wall with chalk, and marked their different vibrations by intersecting it with cross lines. A decent-looking man came up, and smiling at the maniac, turned to Harley, and told him that gentleman had once been a very celebrated mathematician. “He fell a sacrifice,” said he, “to the theory of comets; for having, with infinite labour, formed a table on the conjectures of Sir Isaac Newton, he was disappointed in the return of one of those luminaries, and was very soon after obliged to be placed here by his friends. If you please to follow me, sir,” continued the stranger, “I believe I shall be able to give you a more satisfactory account of the unfortunate people you see here than the man who attends your companions.”
p. 48Harley had lagged behind his friends, watching a man who was crafting pendulums with threads and small balls of clay. He had drawn a section of a circle on the wall with chalk, marking their various vibrations with intersecting lines. A well-dressed man approached, smiled at the eccentric, turned to Harley, and said that the man had once been a renowned mathematician. “He became a victim,” he explained, “to the theory of comets; after painstakingly creating a table based on Sir Isaac Newton's hypotheses, he was let down by the return of one of those celestial bodies, and soon after his friends had to admit him here. If you’d like to follow me, sir,” the stranger continued, “I think I can give you a more thorough explanation of the unfortunate individuals you see here than the person who is with your friends.”
Harley bowed, and accepted his offer.
Harley bowed and accepted his offer.
The next person they came up to had scrawled a variety of figures on a piece of slate. Harley had the curiosity to take a nearer view of them. They consisted of different columns, on the top of which were marked South-sea annuities, India-stock, and Three per cent. annuities consol. “This,” said p. 49Harley’s instructor, “was a gentleman well known in Change Alley. He was once worth fifty thousand pounds, and had actually agreed for the purchase of an estate in the West, in order to realise his money; but he quarrelled with the proprietor about the repairs of the garden wall, and so returned to town, to follow his old trade of stock-jobbing a little longer; when an unlucky fluctuation of stock, in which he was engaged to an immense extent, reduced him at once to poverty and to madness. Poor wretch! he told me t’other day that against the next payment of differences he should be some hundreds above a plum.”
The next person they approached had scribbled a bunch of numbers on a piece of slate. Harley was curious enough to take a closer look at them. They were organized into different columns, with labels at the top for South Sea annuities, India stock, and three percent consolidated annuities. “This,” said p. 49Harley's instructor, “was a guy who was well-known in Change Alley. He was once worth fifty thousand pounds and had actually agreed to buy a property in the West to cash out his money. But he got into a dispute with the owner over the repairs to the garden wall, so he went back to town to stick with his old job in stock trading for a bit longer. Then an unfortunate stock fluctuation, where he was heavily invested, wiped him out completely, leaving him both poor and insane. Poor guy! He told me the other day that by the next payment of differences, he would be several hundreds above a thousand.”
“It is a spondee, and I will maintain it,” interrupted a voice on his left hand. This assertion was followed by a very rapid recital of some verses from Homer. “That figure,” said the gentleman, “whose clothes are so bedaubed with snuff, was a schoolmaster of some reputation: he came hither to be resolved of some doubts he entertained concerning the genuine pronunciation of the Greek vowels. In his highest fits, he makes frequent mention of one Mr. Bentley.
“It’s a spondee, and I stand by that,” interrupted a voice to his left. This statement was followed by a quick recitation of some verses from Homer. “That guy,” the gentleman continued, “whose clothes are all stained with snuff, was a fairly well-known schoolmaster. He came here to clear up some questions he had about the proper pronunciation of Greek vowels. When he's at his most intense, he often talks about a certain Mr. Bentley.”
“But delusive ideas, sir, are the motives of the greatest part of mankind, and a heated imagination p. 50the power by which their actions are incited: the world, in the eye of a philosopher, may be said to be a large madhouse.” “It is true,” answered Harley, “the passions of men are temporary madnesses; and sometimes very fatal in their effects.
“But misleading ideas, sir, drive most people, and an intense imagination is the force that sparks their actions: from a philosopher's perspective, the world can be seen as a vast asylum.” “It’s true,” replied Harley, “people's passions are like temporary madness; and they can sometimes lead to very dire consequences.”
From Macedonia’s madman to the Swede.”
From the crazy ruler of Macedonia to the Swede.
“It was, indeed,” said the stranger, “a very mad thing in Charles to think of adding so vast a country as Russia to his dominions: that would have been fatal indeed; the balance of the North would then have been lost; but the Sultan and I would never have allowed it.”—“Sir!” said Harley, with no small surprise on his countenance.—“Why, yes,” answered the other, “the Sultan and I; do you know me? I am the Chan of Tartary.”
“It really was,” said the stranger, “a crazy idea for Charles to think about adding such a huge country as Russia to his territories: that would have been disastrous; the balance of power in the North would have been completely thrown off; but the Sultan and I would never have let that happen.” — “Excuse me!” said Harley, looking quite surprised. — “Oh, yes,” replied the other, “the Sultan and I; do you know who I am? I’m the Khan of Tartary.”
Harley was a good deal struck by this discovery; he had prudence enough, however, to conceal his amazement, and bowing as low to the monarch as his dignity required, left him immediately, and joined his companions.
Harley was quite taken aback by this discovery; he had enough sense to hide his surprise, and after bowing as low to the king as his pride allowed, he quickly left and joined his friends.
He found them in a quarter of the house set apart for the insane of the other sex, several of whom had gathered about the female visitors, and were examining, with rather more accuracy than might have been expected, the particulars of their dress.
He found them in a part of the house designated for the mentally ill of the opposite sex, several of whom had gathered around the female visitors and were examining, with more attention to detail than one might have expected, the specifics of their clothing.
p. 51Separate from the rest stood one whose appearance had something of superior dignity. Her face, though pale and wasted, was less squalid than those of the others, and showed a dejection of that decent kind, which moves our pity unmixed with horror: upon her, therefore, the eyes of all were immediately turned. The keeper who accompanied them observed it: “This,” said he, “is a young lady who was born to ride in her coach and six. She was beloved, if the story I have heard is true, by a young gentleman, her equal in birth, though by no means her match in fortune: but love, they say, is blind, and so she fancied him as much as he did her. Her father, it seems, would not hear of their marriage, and threatened to turn her out of doors if ever she saw him again. Upon this the young gentleman took a voyage to the West Indies, in hopes of bettering his fortune, and obtaining his mistress; but he was scarce landed, when he was seized with one of the fevers which are common in those islands, and died in a few days, lamented by every one that knew him. This news soon reached his mistress, who was at the same time pressed by her father to marry a rich miserly fellow, who was old enough to be her grandfather. p. 52The death of her lover had no effect on her inhuman parent: he was only the more earnest for her marriage with the man he had provided for her; and what between her despair at the death of the one, and her aversion to the other, the poor young lady was reduced to the condition you see her in. But God would not prosper such cruelty; her father’s affairs soon after went to wreck, and he died almost a beggar.”
p. 51Standing apart from the others was a woman who had an air of dignity about her. Her face, while pale and thin, looked less shabby than the others and showed a sadness that evoked our sympathy without any sense of horror: everyone’s eyes were instantly drawn to her. The caretaker who was with them noticed this: “This,” he said, “is a young lady who was born to ride in style. She was supposedly in love, if the story I’ve heard is to be believed, with a young man of her own social standing, though not nearly as wealthy as she was. But love, they say, is blind, and she adored him as much as he adored her. Her father apparently refused to accept their marriage and threatened to kick her out if she saw him again. As a result, the young man went on a trip to the West Indies, hoping to improve his fortunes and win her heart. However, just after arriving, he caught one of the fevers common in those islands and died within a few days, mourned by all who knew him. This news quickly reached his beloved, who was also being pressured by her father to marry a greedy old man who was old enough to be her grandfather. p. 52Her lover’s death had no effect on her cruel father: he was even more determined for her to marry the man he had chosen for her. Caught between her grief over one and her loathing for the other, the poor young lady was brought to the state you see her in. But God wouldn’t let such cruelty go unpunished; her father’s fortunes soon fell apart, and he died nearly a beggar.”
Though this story was told in very plain language, it had particularly attracted Harley’s notice; he had given it the tribute of some tears. The unfortunate young lady had till now seemed entranced in thought, with her eyes fixed on a little garnet ring she wore on her finger; she turned them now upon Harley. “My Billy is no more!” said she; “do you weep for my Billy? Blessings on your tears! I would weep too, but my brain is dry; and it burns, it burns, it burns!”—She drew nearer to Harley.—“Be comforted, young lady,” said he, “your Billy is in heaven.”—“Is he, indeed? and shall we meet again? and shall that frightful man (pointing to the keeper) not be there!—Alas! I am grown naughty of late; I have almost forgotten to think of heaven: yet I pray sometimes; when I p. 53can, I pray; and sometimes I sing; when I am saddest, I sing:—You shall hear me—hush!
Though this story was told in very simple language, it really caught Harley’s attention; he even shed a few tears for it. The unfortunate young lady had seemed lost in thought, staring at a small garnet ring on her finger; now, she looked at Harley. “My Billy is gone!” she said; “Do you cry for my Billy? Bless you for your tears! I would cry too, but my mind feels empty; it burns, it burns, it burns!”—She moved closer to Harley.—“Be comforted, young lady,” he said, “your Billy is in heaven.” —“Is he, really? Will we meet again? And will that awful man (pointing to the keeper) not be there?—Alas! I’ve been bad lately; I’ve almost forgotten to think about heaven: yet I do pray sometimes; when I
“Light be the earth on Billy’s breast,
And green the sod that wraps his grave.”“May the earth be soft on Billy’s chest,
And may the grass be green that covers his grave.”
There was a plaintive wildness in the air not to be withstood; and, except the keeper’s, there was not an unmoistened eye around her.
There was a haunting wildness in the air that couldn't be ignored; and, except for the keeper's, there wasn't a dry eye in the place.
“Do you weep again?” said she. “I would not have you weep: you are like my Billy; you are, believe me; just so he looked when he gave me this ring; poor Billy! ’twas the last time ever we met!—
“Are you crying again?” she said. “I don’t want you to cry: you remind me of my Billy; you really do; you looked just like him when he gave me this ring; poor Billy! That was the last time we ever saw each other!”
“’Twas when the seas were roaring—I love you for resembling my Billy; but I shall never love any man like him.”—She stretched out her hand to Harley; he pressed it between both of his, and bathed it with his tears.—“Nay, that is Billy’s ring,” said she, “you cannot have it, indeed; but here is another, look here, which I plated to-day of some gold-thread from this bit of stuff; will you keep it for my sake? I am a strange girl; but my heart is harmless: my poor heart; it will burst some day; feel how it beats!” She pressed his hand to her bosom, then holding her head in the attitude of listening—“Hark! one, two, three! be p. 54quiet, thou little trembler; my Billy is cold!—but I had forgotten the ring.”—She put it on his finger. “Farewell! I must leave you now.”—She would have withdrawn her hand; Harley held it to his lips.—“I dare not stay longer; my head throbs sadly: farewell!”—She walked with a hurried step to a little apartment at some distance. Harley stood fixed in astonishment and pity; his friend gave money to the keeper.—Harley looked on his ring.—He put a couple of guineas into the man’s hand: “Be kind to that unfortunate.”—He burst into tears, and left them.
"It was when the seas were roaring—I love you for being like my Billy; but I will never love any man like him." She reached out her hand to Harley; he took it in both of his and soaked it with his tears. "No, that's Billy's ring," she said, "you can't have it, really; but here's another one, look—this gold thread I made today from this bit of fabric; will you keep it for my sake? I’m a strange girl; but my heart is innocent: my poor heart; it’s going to burst someday; feel how it beats!" She pressed his hand to her chest, then held her head as if listening—"Hush! one, two, three! be quiet, you little trembler; my Billy is cold!—but I forgot the ring." She slipped it onto his finger. "Goodbye! I must leave you now." She tried to pull her hand away; Harley held it to his lips. "I can’t stay any longer; my head hurts badly: goodbye!" She walked quickly to a small room not far away. Harley stood there, frozen in disbelief and pity; his friend gave money to the keeper. Harley looked at his ring. He handed the man a couple of guineas: "Take care of that unfortunate." He broke down in tears and left them.
CHAPTER XXI.
The Misanthrope.
The friend who had conducted him to Moorfields called upon him again the next evening. After some talk on the adventures of the preceding day: “I carried you yesterday,” said he to Harley, “to visit the mad; let me introduce you to-night, at supper, to one of the wise: but you must not look p. 55for anything of the Socratic pleasantry about him; on the contrary, I warn you to expect the spirit of a Diogenes. That you may be a little prepared for his extraordinary manner, I will let you into some particulars of his history.
The friend who took him to Moorfields visited him again the next evening. After chatting about the adventures of the day before, he said to Harley, “Yesterday, I took you to see the insane; tonight, let me introduce you at dinner to one of the wise: but don’t expect any Socratic humor from him; on the contrary, I warn you to anticipate the spirit of a Diogenes. To prepare you for his unique style, I’ll share some details about his background.”
“He is the elder of the two sons of a gentleman of considerable estate in the country. Their father died when they were young: both were remarkable at school for quickness of parts and extent of genius; this had been bred to no profession, because his father’s fortune, which descended to him, was thought sufficient to set him above it; the other was put apprentice to an eminent attorney. In this the expectations of his friends were more consulted than his own inclination; for both his brother and he had feelings of that warm kind that could ill brook a study so dry as the law, especially in that department of it which was allotted to him. But the difference of their tempers made the characteristical distinction between them. The younger, from the gentleness of his nature, bore with patience a situation entirely discordant to his genius and disposition. At times, indeed, his pride would suggest of how little importance those talents were which the partiality of his friends had often extolled: they p. 56were now incumbrances in a walk of life where the dull and the ignorant passed him at every turn; his fancy and his feeling were invincible obstacles to eminence in a situation where his fancy had no room for exertion, and his feeling experienced perpetual disgust. But these murmurings he never suffered to be heard; and that he might not offend the prudence of those who had been concerned in the choice of his profession, he continued to labour in it several years, till, by the death of a relation, he succeeded to an estate of a little better than £100 a year, with which, and the small patrimony left him, he retired into the country, and made a love-match with a young lady of a similar temper to his own, with whom the sagacious world pitied him for finding happiness.
“He is the older of two sons of a man with a substantial estate in the country. Their father passed away when they were young: both were known for their intelligence and talent in school; the older son was not pushed into a profession because the fortune he inherited was thought to be enough to support him comfortably; the younger was apprenticed to a well-respected lawyer. In this decision, his friends’ expectations were prioritized over his own preferences; both he and his brother had passionate natures that struggled with the dry study of law, especially in the specific area assigned to him. But their different personalities created a clear distinction between them. The younger son, because of his gentle disposition, patiently endured a situation that was completely at odds with his talents and character. At times, his pride would remind him of how little value those abilities were which his friends had often praised: they were now burdens in a career where the dull and ignorant outpaced him at every opportunity; his imagination and sensitivity became insurmountable barriers to success in a field where his creativity had no outlet, and his feelings were constantly met with disgust. But he never let these complaints show; to avoid upsetting those who had influenced his career choice, he continued working in it for several years until he inherited a small estate of just over £100 a year from a relative. With this, along with the small inheritance left to him, he retired to the countryside and married a young woman who shared his temperament, and for whom the wise world pitied him for finding happiness.
“But his elder brother, whom you are to see at supper, if you will do us the favour of your company, was naturally impetuous, decisive, and overbearing. He entered into life with those ardent expectations by which young men are commonly deluded: in his friendships, warm to excess; and equally violent in his dislikes. He was on the brink of marriage with a young lady, when one of those friends, for whose honour he would have pawned his life, made p. 57an elopement with that very goddess, and left him besides deeply engaged for sums which that good friend’s extravagance had squandered.
“But his older brother, whom you’ll meet at dinner if you grace us with your presence, was naturally impulsive, determined, and domineering. He approached life with the intense hopes that typically deceive young men: extremely warm in his friendships and equally intense in his dislikes. He was on the verge of marrying a young woman when one of those friends, for whose honor he would have risked his life, ran away with that very goddess and also left him deeply indebted for amounts that his so-called friend’s lavish spending had wasted. p. 57”
“The dreams he had formerly enjoyed were now changed for ideas of a very different nature. He abjured all confidence in anything of human form; sold his lands, which still produced him a very large reversion, came to town, and immured himself, with a woman who had been his nurse, in little better than a garret; and has ever since applied his talents to the vilifying of his species. In one thing I must take the liberty to instruct you; however different your sentiments may be (and different they must be), you will suffer him to go on without contradiction; otherwise, he will be silent immediately, and we shall not get a word from him all the night after.” Harley promised to remember this injunction, and accepted the invitation of his friend.
“The dreams he once enjoyed had now turned into ideas of a completely different kind. He gave up all trust in anything human, sold his lands that still provided him with a significant income, moved to the city, and locked himself away with a woman who had been his nurse, living in barely anything more than a small attic. Since then, he has dedicated his talents to criticizing humanity. There’s one thing I must advise you on; no matter how different your views may be (and they will be different), you should let him speak without interruption; otherwise, he’ll go quiet right away, and we won’t hear a word from him for the rest of the night.” Harley promised to keep this advice in mind and accepted his friend’s invitation.
When they arrived at the house, they were informed that the gentleman was come, and had been shown into the parlour. They found him sitting with a daughter of his friend’s, about three years old, on his knee, whom he was teaching the alphabet from a horn book: at a little distance stood a p. 58sister of hers, some years older. “Get you away, miss,” said he to this last; “you are a pert gossip, and I will have nothing to do with you.”—“Nay,” answered she, “Nancy is your favourite; you are quite in love with Nancy.”—“Take away that girl,” said he to her father, whom he now observed to have entered the room; “she has woman about her already.” The children were accordingly dismissed.
When they arrived at the house, they were told that the gentleman had come and was shown into the parlor. They found him sitting with a friend's daughter, who was about three years old, on his lap, teaching her the alphabet from a hornbook. A little distance away stood her older sister. “Get away, miss,” he said to the older girl, “you’re a rude chatterbox, and I don’t want anything to do with you.” “Oh, come on,” she replied, “Nancy is your favorite; you’re totally in love with Nancy.” “Get that girl out of here,” he said to her father, who had just entered the room; “she's already acting like a woman.” The children were then dismissed.
Betwixt that and supper-time he did not utter a syllable. When supper came, he quarrelled with every dish at table, but eat of them all; only exempting from his censures a salad, “which you have not spoiled,” said he, “because you have not attempted to cook it.”
Between that and dinner time, he didn't say a word. When dinner arrived, he argued with every dish on the table but ate from all of them; the only one he didn't criticize was the salad, "which you haven't ruined," he said, "because you didn't try to cook it."
When the wine was set upon the table, he took from his pocket a particular smoking apparatus, and filled his pipe, without taking any more notice of Harley, or his friend, than if no such persons had been in the room.
When the wine was placed on the table, he pulled out a specific smoking device from his pocket and packed his pipe, paying no more attention to Harley or his friend than if they weren’t in the room at all.
Harley could not help stealing a look of surprise at him; but his friend, who knew his humour, returned it by annihilating his presence in the like manner, and, leaving him to his own meditations, addressed himself entirely to Harley.
Harley couldn't help but glance at him in surprise; however, his friend, who was familiar with his sense of humor, responded in kind by completely ignoring him and, leaving him to his thoughts, focused all his attention on Harley.
In their discourse some mention happened to be p. 59made of an amiable character, and the words honour and politeness were applied to it. Upon this, the gentleman, laying down his pipe, and changing the tone of his countenance, from an ironical grin to something more intently contemptuous: “Honour,” said he: “Honour and Politeness! this is the coin of the world, and passes current with the fools of it. You have substituted the shadow Honour, instead of the substance Virtue; and have banished the reality of friendship for the fictitious semblance which you have termed Politeness: politeness, which consists in a certain ceremonious jargon, more ridiculous to the ear of reason than the voice of a puppet. You have invented sounds, which you worship, though they tyrannize over your peace; and are surrounded with empty forms, which take from the honest emotions of joy, and add to the poignancy of misfortune.” “Sir!” said Harley—his friend winked to him, to remind him of the caution he had received. He was silenced by the thought. The philosopher turned his eye upon him: he examined him from top to toe, with a sort of triumphant contempt; Harley’s coat happened to be a new one; the other’s was as shabby as could p. 60possibly be supposed to be on the back of a gentleman: there was much significance in his look with regard to this coat; it spoke of the sleekness of folly and the threadbareness of wisdom.
In their conversation, some people brought up a topic that was somewhat nice, using the words honor and politeness to describe it. Then, the gentleman put down his pipe and changed his expression from a sarcastic grin to something much more disdainful. “Honor,” he said, “Honor and Politeness! This is the currency of the world, and it’s accepted by its fools. You’ve replaced true Virtue with the mere shadow of Honor, and exchanged real friendship for the fake appearance you call Politeness. Politeness, which is just a bunch of ceremonial nonsense, sounds more ridiculous to reason than a puppet’s voice. You’ve created empty words that you worship, even though they ruin your peace, and you surround yourself with pointless rituals that steal genuine joy and amplify your sorrows.” “Sir!” said Harley—his friend subtly signaled him to be cautious, reminding him of the advice he’d received. He was silenced by the thought. The philosopher looked at him, scanning him from head to toe with a sort of triumphant disdain; Harley’s coat was new, while the other’s was as worn out as could possibly be for a gentleman. There was a lot of meaning in his gaze regarding the coat; it represented the foolishness of appearances versus the emptiness of wisdom.
“Truth,” continued he, “the most amiable, as well as the most natural of virtues, you are at pains to eradicate. Your very nurseries are seminaries of falsehood; and what is called Fashion in manhood completes the system of avowed insincerity. Mankind, in the gross, is a gaping monster, that loves to be deceived, and has seldom been disappointed: nor is their vanity less fallacious to your philosophers, who adopt modes of truth to follow them through the paths of error, and defend paradoxes merely to be singular in defending them. These are they whom ye term Ingenious; ’tis a phrase of commendation I detest: it implies an attempt to impose on my judgment, by flattering my imagination; yet these are they whose works are read by the old with delight, which the young are taught to look upon as the codes of knowledge and philosophy.
“Truth,” he continued, “the most charming and natural of virtues, you go to great lengths to erase. Your very nurseries are breeding grounds for falsehood; and what’s called Fashion in adulthood reinforces this system of outright insincerity. Humanity, as a whole, is a gaping monster that loves being deceived and is rarely disappointed: their vanity is no less misleading to your philosophers, who adopt versions of truth that lead them down paths of error and defend oddities just to stand out in their defense. These are the ones you call Ingenious; it’s a term of praise I detest: it suggests an attempt to manipulate my judgment by flattering my imagination; yet these are the works cherished by the old and presented to the young as the foundations of knowledge and philosophy.
“Indeed, the education of your youth is every way preposterous; you waste at school years in improving talents, without having ever spent an hour p. 61in discovering them; one promiscuous line of instruction is followed, without regard to genius, capacity, or probable situation in the commonwealth. From this bear-garden of the pedagogue, a raw, unprincipled boy is turned loose upon the world to travel; without any ideas but those of improving his dress at Paris, or starting into taste by gazing on some paintings at Rome. Ask him of the manners of the people, and he will tell you that the skirt is worn much shorter in France, and that everybody eats macaroni in Italy. When he returns home, he buys a seat in parliament, and studies the constitution at Arthur’s.
“Honestly, the education of your youth is completely ridiculous; you spend years at school trying to develop skills, but never take a moment p. 61to discover what those skills actually are. A one-size-fits-all approach to learning is used, ignoring individual talent, ability, or potential role in society. From this chaotic environment, a naïve, unrefined young person is released into the world to explore; with no thoughts beyond how to improve his wardrobe in Paris or trying to appreciate art by looking at some paintings in Rome. Ask him about the culture of these places, and he’ll tell you that skirts are much shorter in France and that everyone in Italy eats macaroni. When he comes back home, he buys a seat in parliament and learns about the constitution at Arthur’s.”
“Nor are your females trained to any more useful purpose: they are taught, by the very rewards which their nurses propose for good behaviour, by the first thing like a jest which they hear from every male visitor of the family, that a young woman is a creature to be married; and when they are grown somewhat older, are instructed that it is the purpose of marriage to have the enjoyment of pin-money, and the expectation of a jointure.”
“Your women aren't taught anything truly useful either. They're conditioned, through the rewards their caregivers offer for good behavior and the first jokes they hear from male visitors, to see themselves as meant for marriage. As they get older, they're taught that marriage is all about enjoying extra money and hoping for a financial settlement.”
“These, [61] indeed, are the effects of luxury, p. 62which is, perhaps, inseparable from a certain degree of power and grandeur in a nation. But it is not simply of the progress of luxury that we have to complain: did its votaries keep in their own sphere of thoughtless dissipation, we might despise them without emotion; but the frivolous pursuits of pleasure are mingled with the most important concerns of the state; and public enterprise shall sleep till he who should guide its operation has decided his bets at Newmarket, or fulfilled his engagement with a favourite mistress in the country. We want some man of acknowledged eminence to point our counsels with that firmness which the counsels of a great people require. We have hundreds of ministers, who press forward into office without having ever learned that art which is necessary for every business: the art of thinking; and mistake the petulance, which could give p. 63inspiration to smart sarcasms on an obnoxious measure in a popular assembly, for the ability which is to balance the interest of kingdoms, and investigate the latent sources of national superiority. With the administration of such men the people can never be satisfied; for besides that their confidence is gained only by the view of superior talents, there needs that depth of knowledge, which is not only acquainted with the just extent of power, but can also trace its connection with the expedient, to preserve its possessors from the contempt which attends irresolution, or the resentment which follows temerity.”
“These, [61] are indeed the effects of luxury, p. 62which is, perhaps, inseparable from a certain level of power and greatness in a nation. But it’s not just the rise of luxury that we have to criticize: if its followers stayed in their own realm of mindless extravagance, we could ignore them without a second thought; but the shallow quest for pleasure gets mixed up with the most important issues of the state, and public projects will stall until the one who should be directing them has placed his bets at Newmarket or fulfilled his commitment to a favorite mistress in the countryside. We need someone of recognized importance to guide our decisions with the decisiveness that the affairs of a great nation require. We have hundreds of ministers who scramble for office without ever having learned the essential skill needed for any task: the skill of thinking; and they confuse the irritation that can inspire sharp sarcasm against an unpopular measure in a public assembly with the ability to balance the interests of nations and uncover the hidden sources of national strength. With the leadership of such individuals, the public can never be satisfied; for their trust is earned only through superior talent, and there’s a need for a depth of knowledge that not only understands the proper limits of power but can also connect it with what’s practical, to keep its holders from the disdain that comes with indecision, or the backlash that follows recklessness.”
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Understood! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.
[Here a considerable part is wanting.]
[Here a considerable part is wanting.]
* * “In short, man is an animal equally selfish and vain. Vanity, indeed, is but a modification of selfishness. From the latter, there are some who pretend to be free: they are generally such as declaim against the lust of wealth and power, because they have never been able to attain any high degree in either: they boast of generosity and feeling. They tell us (perhaps they tell us in rhyme) that the sensations of an honest heart, of a mind universally benevolent, make up the quiet p. 64bliss which they enjoy; but they will not, by this, be exempted from the charge of selfishness. Whence the luxurious happiness they describe in their little family-circles? Whence the pleasure which they feel, when they trim their evening fires, and listen to the howl of winter’s wind? Whence, but from the secret reflection of what houseless wretches feel from it? Or do you administer comfort in affliction—the motive is at hand; I have had it preached to me in nineteen out of twenty of your consolatory discourses—the comparative littleness of our own misfortunes.
* * “In short, humans are both selfish and vain. Vanity, in fact, is just a form of selfishness. Some people act like they’re free from this trait; these are usually the ones who criticize the greed for wealth and power because they’ve never achieved much in either area. They brag about being generous and kind. They tell us (maybe even in rhyme) that the feelings of an honest heart and a genuinely caring mind create the serene bliss they enjoy; however, this doesn’t let them off the hook for being selfish. Where does the luxurious happiness they describe in their small family gatherings come from? Where does the joy come from when they stoke their evening fires and listen to the howling winter wind? It comes from secretly reflecting on what homeless people feel in the same situation. Or do you offer comfort in times of trouble? The reason is clear; I’ve heard it in nineteen out of twenty of your comforting speeches—the relative insignificance of our own misfortunes.
“With vanity your best virtues are grossly tainted: your benevolence, which ye deduce immediately from the natural impulse of the heart, squints to it for its reward. There are some, indeed, who tell us of the satisfaction which flows from a secret consciousness of good actions: this secret satisfaction is truly excellent—when we have some friend to whom we may discover its excellence.”
“With vanity, your best qualities are heavily compromised: your kindness, which you naturally feel in your heart, looks to it for its reward. There are indeed some who tell us about the satisfaction that comes from secretly knowing we've done good deeds: this silent satisfaction is genuinely valuable—especially when we have a friend with whom we can share its worth.”
He now paused a moment to re-light his pipe, when a clock, that stood at his back, struck eleven; he started up at the sound, took his hat and his cane, and nodding good night with his p. 65head, walked out of the room. The gentleman of the house called a servant to bring the stranger’s surtout. “What sort of a night is it, fellow?” said he.—“It rains, sir,” answered the servant, “with an easterly wind.”—“Easterly for ever!” He made no other reply; but shrugging up his shoulders till they almost touched his ears, wrapped himself tight in his great coat, and disappeared.
He paused for a moment to relight his pipe when a clock behind him struck eleven. He jumped at the sound, grabbed his hat and cane, and nodded goodnight with his head before walking out of the room. The host called a servant to fetch the stranger’s coat. “What’s the weather like, friend?” he asked. “It’s raining, sir,” the servant replied, “with an easterly wind.” “Easterly forever!” He didn’t say anything more; instead, he shrugged his shoulders up to his ears, wrapped himself tightly in his coat, and vanished.
“This is a strange creature,” said his friend to Harley. “I cannot say,” answered he, “that his remarks are of the pleasant kind: it is curious to observe how the nature of truth may be changed by the garb it wears; softened to the admonition of friendship, or soured into the severity of reproof: yet this severity may be useful to some tempers; it somewhat resembles a file: disagreeable in its operation, but hard metals may be the brighter for it.”
“This is a strange creature,” his friend said to Harley. “I can’t say,” he replied, “that his comments are very pleasant: it’s interesting to see how the nature of truth can change depending on how it’s presented; it can be softened by the tone of friendship or made harsh by the tone of criticism: yet that harshness can be helpful for some personalities; it’s a bit like a file: unpleasant in its effect, but tough metals might come out shining because of it.”
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Understood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.
p. 66CHAPTER XXV.
HIS SKILL IN READING FACES.
The company at the baronet’s removed to the playhouse accordingly, and Harley took his usual route into the Park. He observed, as he entered, a fresh-looking elderly gentleman in conversation with a beggar, who, leaning on his crutch, was recounting the hardships he had undergone, and explaining the wretchedness of his present condition. This was a very interesting dialogue to Harley; he was rude enough, therefore, to slacken his pace as he approached, and at last to make a full stop at the gentleman’s back, who was just then expressing his compassion for the beggar, and regretting that he had not a farthing of change about him. At saying this, he looked piteously on the fellow: there was something in his physiognomy which caught Harley’s notice: indeed, physiognomy was one of Harley’s foibles, for which he had been often rebuked by his aunt in the country, who used to tell him that when he was come to her years and experience he would know that all’s not gold that p. 67glitters: and it must be owned that his aunt was a very sensible, harsh-looking maiden lady of threescore and upwards. But he was too apt to forget this caution and now, it seems, it had not occurred to him. Stepping up, therefore, to the gentleman, who was lamenting the want of silver, “Your intentions, sir,” said he, “are so good, that I cannot help lending you my assistance to carry them into execution,” and gave the beggar a shilling. The other returned a suitable compliment, and extolled the benevolence of Harley. They kept walking together, and benevolence grew the topic of discourse.
The group at the baronet’s headed to the theater, and Harley took his usual path into the Park. As he entered, he noticed a well-dressed older man talking to a beggar who, leaning on his crutch, was sharing the struggles he had faced and describing his miserable situation. This conversation was quite fascinating to Harley; he was impolite enough to slow down as he approached and eventually came to a complete stop behind the gentleman, who was just then expressing sympathy for the beggar and lamenting that he didn’t have even a penny to offer. When he said this, he looked sadly at the man. There was something about the beggar's face that caught Harley’s attention; in fact, Harley had a tendency to be intrigued by faces, which his aunt in the countryside had often scolded him for, telling him that when he was older and wiser, he would understand that not everything that looks good is actually valuable. It must be said that his aunt was a very sensible and stern-looking lady well into her sixties. But he often forgot this advice, and it seemed he had overlooked it this time. So, stepping up to the gentleman, who was mourning his lack of coins, he said, “Your intentions, sir, are so noble that I can't help but offer my help in bringing them to life,” and handed the beggar a shilling. The gentleman expressed his gratitude and praised Harley’s generosity. They continued walking together, and the topic of conversation turned to kindness.
The stranger was fluent on the subject. “There is no use of money,” said he, “equal to that of beneficence. With the profuse, it is lost; and even with those who lay it out according to the prudence of the world, the objects acquired by it pall on the sense, and have scarce become our own till they lose their value with the power of pleasing; but here the enjoyment grows on reflection, and our money is most truly ours when it ceases being in our possession.
The stranger was well-spoken on the topic. “There’s no use for money,” he said, “that compares to generosity. With those who are extravagant, it’s wasted; and even with those who spend it wisely, the things they buy quickly lose their appeal. It’s hardly ours until it stops being enjoyable; but here, the pleasure increases with thought, and our money belongs to us most completely when it’s no longer in our hands."
“We cannot easily distinguish,” said the stranger; “and even of the worthless, are there not many whose imprudence, or whose vice, may have been one dreadful consequence of misfortune?”
“We can’t easily tell,” said the stranger; “and even among the worthless, aren’t there many whose recklessness or wrongdoing might have been a terrible outcome of bad luck?”
Harley looked again in his face, and blessed himself for his skill in physiognomy.
Harley looked at his face again and congratulated himself on his talent for reading faces.
By this time they had reached the end of the walk, the old gentleman leaning on the rails to take breath, and in the meantime they were joined by a younger man, whose figure was much above the appearance of his dress, which was poor and shabby. Harley’s former companion addressed him as an acquaintance, and they turned on the walk together.
By this time, they had reached the end of the path, with the old gentleman leaning on the railing to catch his breath. Meanwhile, a younger man joined them, his figure much more impressive than his shabby clothes. Harley's former companion greeted him as a friend, and they walked together along the path.
The elder of the strangers complained of the closeness of the evening, and asked the other if he would go with him into a house hard by, and take one draught of excellent cyder. “The man who keeps this house,” said he to Harley, “was once a servant of mine. I could not think of turning loose upon the world a faithful old fellow, for no other reason but that his age had incapacitated p. 69him; so I gave him an annuity of ten pounds, with the help of which he has set up this little place here, and his daughter goes and sells milk in the city, while her father manages his tap-room, as he calls it, at home. I can’t well ask a gentleman of your appearance to accompany me to so paltry a place.” “Sir,” replied Harley, interrupting him, “I would much rather enter it than the most celebrated tavern in town. To give to the necessitous may sometimes be a weakness in the man; to encourage industry is a duty in the citizen.” They entered the house accordingly.
The older of the strangers complained about the stuffiness of the evening and asked the other if he would join him at a nearby house for a drink of excellent cider. “The man who runs this place,” he said to Harley, “was once my servant. I couldn’t just let a faithful old guy go out into the world, just because age had made him unable to work; so I gave him a ten-pound annuity, which helped him open this little spot. His daughter sells milk in the city while he manages his bar, as he calls it, at home. I can’t really ask a gentleman like you to come with me to such a humble place.” “Sir,” Harley interrupted, “I would much prefer to go there than to the most famous tavern in town. Helping those in need may sometimes be a weakness, but encouraging hard work is a civic duty.” They then entered the house.
On a table at the corner of the room lay a pack of cards, loosely thrown together. The old gentleman reproved the man of the house for encouraging so idle an amusement. Harley attempted to defend him from the necessity of accommodating himself to the humour of his guests, and taking up the cards, began to shuffle them backwards and forwards in his hand. “Nay, I don’t think cards so unpardonable an amusement as some do,” replied the other; “and now and then, about this time of the evening, when my eyes begin to fail me for my book, I divert myself with a game at piquet, without finding my morals a bit relaxed by it. p. 70Do you play piquet, sir?” (to Harley.) Harley answered in the affirmative; upon which the other proposed playing a pool at a shilling the game, doubling the stakes; adding, that he never played higher with anybody.
On a table in the corner of the room, there was a pack of cards, carelessly tossed together. The old gentleman scolded the homeowner for promoting such a lazy pastime. Harley tried to defend him, saying he had to fit in with his guests' mood, and picking up the cards, he began to shuffle them back and forth in his hands. “Well, I don’t think cards are as shameful a pastime as some people do,” the other replied. “And once in a while, around this time of the evening, when my eyes start to tire from reading, I enjoy a game of piquet, without feeling that my morals are affected at all. p. 70 Do you play piquet, sir?” (to Harley.) Harley said he did, so the other suggested they play a pool at a shilling a game, doubling the stakes, adding that he never played for more with anyone.
Harley’s good nature could not refuse the benevolent old man; and the younger stranger, though he at first pleaded prior engagements, yet being earnestly solicited by his friend, at last yielded to solicitation.
Harley’s kind nature couldn’t turn down the generous old man; and the younger stranger, although he initially insisted he had other commitments, ultimately gave in to his friend’s persistent urging.
When they began to play, the old gentleman, somewhat to the surprise of Harley, produced ten shillings to serve for markers of his score. “He had no change for the beggar,” said Harley to himself; “but I can easily account for it; it is curious to observe the affection that inanimate things will create in us by a long acquaintance. If I may judge from my own feelings, the old man would not part with one of these counters for ten times its intrinsic value; it even got the better of his benevolence! I, myself, have a pair of old brass sleeve buttons.” Here he was interrupted by being told that the old gentleman had beat the younger, and that it was his turn to take up the conqueror. “Your game has been short,” said Harley. “I re-piqued p. 71him,” answered the old man, with joy sparkling in his countenance. Harley wished to be re-piqued too, but he was disappointed; for he had the same good fortune against his opponent. Indeed, never did fortune, mutable as she is, delight in mutability so much as at that moment. The victory was so quick, and so constantly alternate, that the stake, in a short time, amounted to no less a sum than £12, Harley’s proportion of which was within half-a-guinea of the money he had in his pocket. He had before proposed a division, but the old gentleman opposed it with such a pleasant warmth in his manner, that it was always over-ruled. Now, however, he told them that he had an appointment with some gentlemen, and it was within a few minutes of his hour. The young stranger had gained one game, and was engaged in the second with the other; they agreed, therefore, that the stake should be divided, if the old gentleman won that: which was more than probable, as his score was 90 to 35, and he was elder hand; but a momentous re-pique decided it in favour of his adversary, who seemed to enjoy his victory mingled with regret, for having won too much, while his friend, with great ebullience of p. 72passion, many praises of his own good play, and many malediction’s on the power of chance, took up the cards, and threw them into the fire.
When they started playing, the old man, somewhat to Harley's surprise, pulled out ten shillings to use as markers for his score. “He doesn’t have any change for the beggar,” Harley thought to himself; “but I can easily explain that. It’s interesting to see how much attachment we can develop for inanimate objects through long familiarity. If I’m any indication, the old man wouldn't part with one of these tokens for ten times what it’s worth; it even overshadowed his generosity! I, myself, have a pair of old brass cufflinks.” Just then, he was interrupted by being told that the old gentleman had beaten the younger player, and it was his turn to face the winner. “Your game was quick,” Harley remarked. “I re-piqued him,” the old man replied, joy lighting up his face. Harley wanted to be re-piqued as well, but he was disappointed because he had the same good luck against his opponent. Indeed, never had fortune, as changeable as she is, reveled in her fickleness as she did at that moment. The victories were so swift and constantly alternating that the stakes quickly mounted to no less than £12, Harley’s share being just half a guinea shy of what he had on him. He had previously suggested splitting the pot, but the old gentleman consistently opposed it with a charming warmth, so it was always dismissed. Now, however, he mentioned that he had an appointment with some gentlemen and that it was only a few minutes from the time he had to leave. The young stranger had won one game and was in the middle of the second with the other player; so they agreed that the pot would be split if the old gentleman won that one, which seemed quite likely since his score was 90 to 35, and he was the more experienced player. But a significant re-pique turned the tide in favor of his opponent, who appeared to enjoy his victory tinged with regret for winning too much, while his friend, filled with a great outpouring of emotion, praised his own skill and cursed the power of chance, took the cards and tossed them into the fire.
CHAPTER XXVI.
DEAD SEA FRUITS.
The company he was engaged to meet were assembled in Fleet Street. He had walked some time along the Strand, amidst a crowd of those wretches who wait the uncertain wages of prostitution, with ideas of pity suitable to the scene around him and the feelings he possessed, and had got as far as Somerset House, when one of them laid hold of his arm, and, with a voice tremulous and faint, asked him for a pint of wine, in a manner more supplicatory than is usual with those whom the infamy of their profession has deprived of shame. He turned round at the demand, and looked steadfastly on the person who made it.
The company he was set to meet was gathered on Fleet Street. He had walked for a while along the Strand, surrounded by a crowd of those unfortunate people who wait for the uncertain earnings of prostitution, feeling a mix of pity appropriate to the scene and his own emotions. He had reached Somerset House when one of them grabbed his arm and, with a shaky and weak voice, asked him for a pint of wine, in a way that was more pleading than is typical for those whose shame has been stripped away by their profession. He turned to the request and stared intently at the person who made it.
She was above the common size, and elegantly formed; her face was thin and hollow, and showed p. 73the remains of tarnished beauty. Her eyes were black, but had little of their lustre left; her cheeks had some paint laid on without art, and productive of no advantage to her complexion, which exhibited a deadly paleness on the other parts of her face.
She was taller than average and had an elegant figure; her face was thin and hollow, reflecting the remnants of faded beauty. Her eyes were black but lacked their former shine; her cheeks had some poorly applied makeup, which did nothing for her complexion, which showed a sickly pallor on the rest of her face.
Harley stood in the attitude of hesitation; which she, interpreting to her advantage, repeated her request, and endeavoured to force a leer of invitation into her countenance. He took her arm, and they walked on to one of those obsequious taverns in the neighbourhood, where the dearness of the wine is a discharge in full for the character of the house. From what impulse he did this we do not mean to enquire; as it has ever been against our nature to search for motives where bad ones are to be found. They entered, and a waiter showed them a room, and placed a bottle of claret on the table.
Harley stood there, hesitating. She took this as an opportunity to repeat her request and tried to force a flirtatious look on her face. He took her arm, and they walked to one of those overly accommodating taverns nearby, where the high price of the wine makes up for the place's reputation. We won’t question what led him to do this; it's not in our nature to look for reasons when the bad ones are obvious. They went inside, and a waiter led them to a room, putting a bottle of claret on the table.
Harley filled the lady’s glass: which she had no sooner tasted, than dropping it on the floor, and eagerly catching his arm, her eye grew fixed, her lip assumed a clayey whiteness, and she fell back lifeless in her chair.
Harley filled the woman's glass; no sooner had she taken a sip than she dropped it on the floor and, gripping his arm tightly, her gaze became blank, her lips turned a grayish white, and she slumped back, lifeless, in her chair.
Harley started from his seat, and, catching her p. 74in his arms, supported her from falling to the ground, looking wildly at the door, as if he wanted to run for assistance, but durst not leave the miserable creature. It was not till some minutes after that it occurred to him to ring the bell, which at last, however, he thought of, and rung with repeated violence even after the waiter appeared. Luckily the waiter had his senses somewhat more about him; and snatching up a bottle of water, which stood on a buffet at the end of the room, he sprinkled it over the hands and face of the dying figure before him. She began to revive, and, with the assistance of some hartshorn drops, which Harley now for the first time drew from his pocket, was able to desire the waiter to bring her a crust of bread, of which she swallowed some mouthfuls with the appearance of the keenest hunger. The waiter withdrew: when turning to Harley, sobbing at the same time, and shedding tears, “I am sorry, sir,” said she, “that I should have given you so much trouble; but you will pity me when I tell you that till now I have not tasted a morsel these two days past.”—He fixed his eyes on hers—every circumstance but the last was forgotten; and he took her p. 75hand with as much respect as if she had been a duchess. It was ever the privilege of misfortune to be revered by him.—“Two days!” said he; “and I have fared sumptuously every day!”—He was reaching to the bell; she understood his meaning, and prevented him. “I beg, sir,” said she, “that you would give yourself no more trouble about a wretch who does not wish to live; but, at present, I could not eat a bit; my stomach even rose at the last mouthful of that crust.”—He offered to call a chair, saying that he hoped a little rest would relieve her.—He had one half-guinea left. “I am sorry,” he said, “that at present I should be able to make you an offer of no more than this paltry sum.”—She burst into tears: “Your generosity, sir, is abused; to bestow it on me is to take it from the virtuous. I have no title but misery to plead: misery of my own procuring.” “No more of that,” answered Harley; “there is virtue in these tears; let the fruit of them be virtue.”—He rung, and ordered a chair.—“Though I am the vilest of beings,” said she, “I have not forgotten every virtue; gratitude, I hope, I shall still have left, did I but know who is my benefactor.”—“My name is Harley.”—p. 76“Could I ever have an opportunity?”—“You shall, and a glorious one too! your future conduct—but I do not mean to reproach you—if, I say—it will be the noblest reward—I will do myself the pleasure of seeing you again.”—Here the waiter entered, and told them the chair was at the door; the lady informed Harley of her lodgings, and he promised to wait on her at ten next morning.
Harley jumped up from his seat and, catching her p. 74 in his arms, prevented her from falling to the ground. He looked anxiously at the door, as if he wanted to run for help but couldn’t leave the poor woman alone. It took him a few moments to remember to ring the bell, but when he finally did, he pulled it with such force that it continued ringing even after the waiter arrived. Fortunately, the waiter was more alert; he grabbed a bottle of water from a side table and splashed it on the hands and face of the fading figure in front of him. She started to come around, and with some hartshorn drops, which Harley took out of his pocket for the first time, she was able to ask the waiter for a crust of bread, which she ate in large bites, looking as though she hadn’t eaten in ages. The waiter left, and turning to Harley through her tears, she said, “I’m so sorry, sir, to have troubled you so much; but you’ll understand when I tell you I haven’t had a bite to eat for the past two days.” He locked eyes with her—everything but that last detail faded from his mind; he held her p. 75 hand with as much respect as if she were a duchess. He always felt that misfortune deserved respect. “Two days!” he exclaimed; “while I’ve been living in luxury every day!” He reached for the bell, and she understood what he meant and stopped him. “Please, sir,” she said, “don’t trouble yourself about a wretch who doesn’t want to live; right now, I can’t eat anymore; even the last bit of that crust made my stomach turn.” He offered to call a carriage, believing that some rest would help her. He had only half a guinea left. “I regret,” he said, “that I can only offer you this measly amount.” She broke into tears. “Your kindness, sir, is thrown away on me; giving it to me takes it from someone deserving. I have no claim to your generosity but my own misery.” “Let’s not talk about that,” Harley replied; “there’s honor in these tears; let them be a source of virtue.” He rang for a carriage. “Even though I am the lowest of creatures,” she said, “I haven’t lost all sense of virtue; I hope to still have gratitude if I knew who my benefactor was.” “My name is Harley.” p. 76 “Will I ever get a chance to repay you?” “You will, and a wonderful chance it will be! Your future actions—but I don’t mean to reproach you—if, I say—it will be the greatest reward—I’ll take pleasure in seeing you again.” Just then the waiter came in and told them the carriage was ready. The lady shared her address with Harley, and he promised to visit her at ten the next morning.
He led her to the chair, and returned to clear with the waiter, without ever once reflecting that he had no money in his pocket. He was ashamed to make an excuse; yet an excuse must be made: he was beginning to frame one, when the waiter cut him short by telling him that he could not run scores; but that, if he would leave his watch, or any other pledge, it would be as safe as if it lay in his pocket. Harley jumped at the proposal, and pulling out his watch, delivered it into his hands immediately, and having, for once, had the precaution to take a note of the lodging he intended to visit next morning, sallied forth with a blush of triumph on his face, without taking notice of the sneer of the waiter, who, twirling the watch in his hand, made him a profound bow at p. 77the door, and whispered to a girl, who stood in the passage, something, in which the word CULLY was honoured with a particular emphasis.
He led her to the chair and went back to talk to the waiter, not once thinking that he had no money in his pocket. He was too embarrassed to make an excuse, but he knew he had to come up with one. Just as he began to think of something, the waiter interrupted him, saying he couldn't run tabs, but if he left his watch or some other item as collateral, it would be just as safe as if it were in his pocket. Harley jumped at the chance, pulled out his watch, and handed it over right away. Having wisely noted down the address of the place he planned to visit the next morning, he walked out with a triumphant blush on his face, ignoring the waiter’s sneer. The waiter twirled the watch in his hand, gave him a deep bow at p. 77the door, and whispered something to a girl standing in the hallway, making sure to emphasize the word Cully.
CHAPTER XXVII.
His skill in reading faces is questioned.
After he had been some time with the company he had appointed to meet, and the last bottle was called for, he first recollected that he would be again at a loss how to discharge his share of the reckoning. He applied, therefore, to one of them, with whom he was most intimate, acknowledging that he had not a farthing of money about him; and, upon being jocularly asked the reason, acquainted them with the two adventures we have just now related. One of the company asked him if the old man in Hyde Park did not wear a brownish coat, with a narrow gold edging, and his companion an old green frock, with a buff-coloured waistcoat. Upon Harley’s recollecting that they did, “Then,” said he, “you may be p. 78thankful you have come off so well; they are two as noted sharpers, in their way, as any in town, and but t’other night took me in for a much larger sum. I had some thoughts of applying to a justice, but one does not like to be seen in those matters.”
After he had spent some time with the group he had planned to meet, and when the last bottle was ordered, he suddenly remembered that he would again be stuck on how to pay his share of the bill. So, he turned to one of them, his closest friend, admitting that he didn’t have a penny on him; and when he was playfully asked why, he shared the two stories we just mentioned. One of the group members asked him if the old guy in Hyde Park wore a brownish coat with a narrow gold trim, and his companion had an old green frock with a light-colored waistcoat. When Harley remembered that they did, the guy said, “Then you should be p. 78 grateful you got off easy; they are two of the biggest con artists in town, and just the other night, they tricked me out of a lot more money. I thought about going to a judge, but you don’t want to be seen dealing with that kind of thing.”
Harley answered, “That he could not but fancy the gentleman was mistaken, as he never saw a face promise more honesty than that of the old man he had met with.”—“His face!” said a grave-looking man, when sat opposite to him, squirting the juice of his tobacco obliquely into the grate. There was something very emphatical in the action, for it was followed by a burst of laughter round the table. “Gentlemen,” said Harley, “you are disposed to be merry; it may be as you imagine, for I confess myself ignorant of the town; but there is one thing which makes me hear the loss of my money with temper: the young fellow who won it must have been miserably poor; I observed him borrow money for the stake from his friend: he had distress and hunger in his countenance: be his character what it may, his necessities at least plead for him.” At this there was a louder laugh than before. “Gentlemen,” p. 79said the lawyer, one of whose conversations with Harley we have already recorded, “here’s a pretty fellow for you! to have heard him talk some nights ago, as I did, you might have sworn he was a saint; yet now he games with sharpers, and loses his money, and is bubbled by a fine tale of the Dead Sea, and pawns his watch; here are sanctified doings with a witness!”
Harley replied, “I can't help but think that the gentleman is mistaken, because I've never seen a face that looked more honest than that of the old man I just met.” “His face!” said a serious-looking man sitting across from him, spitting his tobacco juice into the fireplace. There was something quite emphatic in his action, which triggered a burst of laughter around the table. “Gentlemen,” Harley said, “you seem to be in a good mood; maybe you’re right, since I admit I don’t know the town well. But there's one thing that helps me accept losing my money: the young guy who won it must have been really poor; I saw him borrow money for his bet from his friend. He looked desperate and hungry; no matter what his character is, his needs should at least be taken into account.” This prompted an even louder laugh than before. “Gentlemen,” p. 79said the lawyer, whose conversation with Harley we've already noted, “here's an interesting guy for you! If you had heard him talk a few nights ago like I did, you’d swear he was a saint; yet now he’s gambling with hustlers, losing his money, falling for a fancy story about the Dead Sea, and pawning his watch; what a holy mess this is!”
“Young gentleman,” said his friend on the other side of the table, “let me advise you to be a little more cautious for the future; and as for faces—you may look into them to know whether a man’s nose be a long or a short one.”
“Young man,” said his friend across the table, “let me suggest that you be a bit more careful going forward; and when it comes to faces—you can look at them to see if a guy’s nose is long or short.”
CHAPTER XXVIII.
HE KEEPS HIS SCHEDULE.
The last night’s raillery of his companions was recalled to his remembrance when he awoke, and the colder homilies of prudence began to suggest some things which were nowise favourable for a performance of his promise to the unfortunate p. 80female he had met with before. He rose, uncertain of his purpose; but the torpor of such considerations was seldom prevalent over the warmth of his nature. He walked some turns backwards and forwards in his room; he recalled the languid form of the fainting wretch to his mind; he wept at the recollection of her tears. “Though I am the vilest of beings, I have not forgotten every virtue; gratitude, I hope, I shall still have left.”—He took a larger stride—“Powers of mercy that surround me!” cried he, “do ye not smile upon deeds like these? to calculate the chances of deception is too tedious a business for the life of man!”—The clock struck ten.—When he was got down-stairs, he found that he had forgot the note of her lodgings; he gnawed his lips at the delay: he was fairly on the pavement, when he recollected having left his purse; he did but just prevent himself from articulating an imprecation. He rushed a second time up into his chamber. “What a wretch I am!” said he; “ere this time, perhaps—” ’Twas a perhaps not to be borne;—two vibrations of a pendulum would have served him to lock his bureau; but they could not be spared.
The last night’s teasing from his friends came back to him when he woke up, and the colder lessons of caution started to mention things that didn’t support his promise to the unfortunate p. 80 woman he had met before. He got up, unsure of what to do; but thoughts like that rarely dimmed the warmth of his character. He paced back and forth in his room; he remembered the fragile figure of the fainting woman; tears came to his eyes at the thought of her sadness. “Even though I’m the worst of people, I haven’t forgotten all virtues; I hope I still have gratitude left in me.” He took a larger step—“Powers of mercy around me!” he exclaimed, “don’t you support actions like these? Measuring the chances of being deceived is too tedious for a person’s life!”—The clock struck ten.—Once he got downstairs, he realized he had forgotten the note with her address; he bit his lips in frustration at the delay: he was just on the pavement when he remembered he had left his wallet behind; he barely stopped himself from swearing. He rushed back up to his room again. “What a fool I am!” he said; “by now, perhaps—” It was a possibility too hard to take;—two ticks of the clock would have been enough for him to lock his drawer; but he couldn’t spare them.
p. 81When he reached the house, and inquired for Miss Atkins (for that was the lady’s name), he was shown up three pair of stairs, into a small room lighted by one narrow lattice, and patched round with shreds of different-coloured paper. In the darkest corner stood something like a bed, before which a tattered coverlet hung by way of curtain. He had not waited long when she appeared. Her face had the glister of new-washed tears on it. “I am ashamed, sir,” said she, “that you should have taken this fresh piece of trouble about one so little worthy of it; but, to the humane, I know there is a pleasure in goodness for its own sake: if you have patience for the recital of my story, it may palliate, though it cannot excuse, my faults.” Harley bowed, as a sign of assent; and she began as follows:—
p. 81When he arrived at the house and asked for Miss Atkins (that was the lady’s name), he was led up three flights of stairs to a small room lit by a narrow window, decorated with bits of colorful paper. In the darkest corner stood what looked like a bed, with a worn blanket hanging instead of a curtain. He didn’t wait long before she showed up. Her face was still glistening from fresh tears. “I’m embarrassed, sir,” she said, “that you’ve taken the time to help someone so undeserving; but I know for those with compassion, there’s a joy in doing good just for the sake of it: if you’re willing to listen to my story, it might soften the impact, though it can’t excuse my mistakes.” Harley nodded in agreement, and she began:—
“I am the daughter of an officer, whom a service of forty years had advanced no higher than the rank of captain. I have had hints from himself, and been informed by others, that it was in some measure owing to those principles of rigid honour, which it was his boast to possess, and which he early inculcated on me, that he had been able to arrive at no better station. My p. 82mother died when I was a child: old enough to grieve for her death, but incapable of remembering her precepts. Though my father was doatingly fond of her, yet there were some sentiments in which they materially differed: she had been bred from her infancy in the strictest principles of religion, and took the morality of her conduct from the motives which an adherence to those principles suggested. My father, who had been in the army from his youth, affixed an idea of pusillanimity to that virtue, which was formed by the doctrines, excited by the rewards, or guarded by the terrors of revelation; his dashing idol was the honour of a soldier: a term which he held in such reverence, that he used it for his most sacred asseveration. When my mother died, I was some time suffered to continue in those sentiments which her instructions had produced; but soon after, though, from respect to her memory, my father did not absolutely ridicule them, yet he showed, in his discourse to others, so little regard to them, and at times suggested to me motives of action so different, that I was soon weaned from opinions which I began to consider as the dreams of superstition, or the artful inventions of designing p. 83hypocrisy. My mother’s books were left behind at the different quarters we removed to, and my reading was principally confined to plays, novels, and those poetical descriptions of the beauty of virtue and honour, which the circulating libraries easily afforded.
“I am the daughter of an officer who, after forty years of service, only reached the rank of captain. I’ve been given hints from him and heard from others that it was partly because of his strict principles of honor, which he took pride in and instilled in me from a young age, that he hadn’t been able to achieve a higher position. My p. 82mother passed away when I was a child: old enough to mourn her loss but too young to remember her teachings. Although my father adored her, there were some beliefs on which they fundamentally disagreed: she had been raised with the strictest religious principles and based her moral actions on the motivations derived from those beliefs. My father, who had been in the army since he was young, associated cowardice with that kind of virtue, which was rooted in the doctrines fueled by the promises or fears of revelation; his hero was the honor of a soldier, a term he revered so much that he used it as his most sincere affirmation. When my mother died, I was allowed to hold onto the beliefs she had taught me for a while; however, shortly after, out of respect for her memory, my father did not outright mock them, yet he showed in conversations with others such little regard for those beliefs and sometimes suggested actions with motives so different that I soon started to view my opinions as nothing more than the fantasies of superstition or clever lies of deceitful p. 83hypocrisy. My mother’s books were left behind at the various places we moved to, and my reading was mainly limited to plays, novels, and those poetic descriptions of the beauty of virtue and honor that were easily available in circulating libraries.
“As I was generally reckoned handsome, and the quickness of my parts extolled by all our visitors, my father had a pride in allowing me to the world. I was young, giddy, open to adulation, and vain of those talents which acquired it.
“As I was generally considered handsome, and my quick wits praised by all our visitors, my father took pride in showing me off to the world. I was young, carefree, receptive to flattery, and vain about the talents that earned it.”
“After the last war, my father was reduced to half-pay; with which we retired to a village in the country, which the acquaintance of some genteel families who resided in it, and the cheapness of living, particularly recommended. My father rented a small house, with a piece of ground sufficient to keep a horse for him, and a cow for the benefit of his family. An old man servant managed his ground; while a maid, who had formerly been my mother’s, and had since been mine, undertook the care of our little dairy: they were assisted in each of their provinces by my father and me: and we passed our time in a state of tranquillity, which he had always talked of with p. 84delight, and my train of reading had taught me to admire.
“After the last war, my father was put on half-pay; with that, we moved to a village in the countryside, which was recommended for its friendly upscale families and the low cost of living. My father rented a small house with enough land to keep a horse for himself and a cow for our family's needs. An old servant took care of the land, while a maid, who had previously worked for my mother and then for me, managed our little dairy. My father and I helped them in their tasks, and we spent our time in a calm state that my father had always described with delight, and that my reading had taught me to appreciate. p. 84”
“Though I had never seen the polite circles of the metropolis, the company my father had introduced me into had given me a degree of good breeding, which soon discovered a superiority over the young ladies of our village. I was quoted as an example of politeness, and my company courted by most of the considerable families in the neighbourhood.
“Even though I had never experienced the refined social circles of the city, the people my father had introduced me to had given me a level of good manners that quickly set me apart from the young women in our village. I became known as an example of politeness, and most of the prominent families in the area sought my company.”
“Amongst the houses where I was frequently invited was Sir George Winbrooke’s. He had two daughters nearly of my age, with whom, though they had been bred up in those maxims of vulgar doctrine which my superior understanding could not but despise, yet as their good nature led them to an imitation of my manners in everything else, I cultivated a particular friendship.
“Among the houses where I was often invited was Sir George Winbrooke’s. He had two daughters about my age, and although they had been raised on the common beliefs that I couldn’t help but look down on, their friendly nature made them try to copy my behavior in everything else, so I developed a special friendship with them.
“Some months after our first acquaintance, Sir George’s eldest son came home from his travels. His figure, his address, and conversation, were not unlike those warm ideas of an accomplished man which my favourite novels had taught me to form; and his sentiments on the article of religion were as liberal as my own: when any of these happened p. 85to be the topic of our discourse, I, who before had been silent, from a fear of being single in opposition, now kindled at the fire he raised, and defended our mutual opinions with all the eloquence I was mistress of. He would be respectfully attentive all the while; and when I had ended, would raise his eyes from the ground, look at me with a gaze of admiration, and express his applause in the highest strain of encomium. This was an incense the more pleasing, as I seldom or never had met with it before; for the young gentlemen who visited Sir George were for the most part of that athletic order, the pleasure of whose lives is derived from fox-hunting: these are seldom solicitous to please the women at all; or if they were, would never think of applying their flattery to the mind.
A few months after we first met, Sir George’s oldest son returned from his travels. His appearance, manner, and conversation were similar to the ideal image of a refined man that my favorite novels had led me to envision; his views on religion were as open-minded as mine. When any of these topics came up p. 85, I, who had been quiet before out of fear of standing alone, now lit up with enthusiasm and defended our shared beliefs with all the eloquence I could muster. He would listen intently, and when I finished, he would lift his gaze from the ground, look at me with admiration, and praise me with the highest compliments. This was especially gratifying since I rarely, if ever, encountered it before; the young men who visited Sir George were mostly those sporty types whose enjoyment comes from fox-hunting. They typically don’t care about pleasing women at all, and even if they did, their flattery wouldn’t extend to intellectual matters.
“Mr. Winbrooke observed the weakness of my soul, and took every occasion of improving the esteem he had gained. He asked my opinion of every author, of every sentiment, with that submissive diffidence, which showed an unlimited confidence in my understanding. I saw myself revered, as a superior being, by one whose judgment my vanity told me was not likely to err: p. 86preferred by him to all the other visitors of my sex, whose fortunes and rank should have entitled them to a much higher degree of notice: I saw their little jealousies at the distinguished attention he paid me; it was gratitude, it was pride, it was love! Love which had made too fatal a progress in my heart, before any declaration on his part should have warranted a return: but I interpreted every look of attention, every expression of compliment, to the passion I imagined him inspired with, and imputed to his sensibility that silence which was the effect of art and design. At length, however, he took an opportunity of declaring his love: he now expressed himself in such ardent terms, that prudence might have suspected their sincerity: but prudence is rarely found in the situation I had been unguardedly led into; besides, that the course of reading to which I had been accustomed, did not lead me to conclude, that his expressions could be too warm to be sincere: nor was I even alarmed at the manner in which he talked of marriage, a subjection, he often hinted, to which genuine love should scorn to be confined. The woman, he would often say, who had merit like mine to fix his affection, could easily command p. 87it for ever. That honour too which I revered, was often called in to enforce his sentiments. I did not, however, absolutely assent to them; but I found my regard for their opposites diminish by degrees. If it is dangerous to be convinced, it is dangerous to listen; for our reason is so much of a machine, that it will not always be able to resist, when the ear is perpetually assailed.
“Mr. Winbrooke noticed the weakness of my spirit and took every chance to build on the esteem he had gained. He asked for my thoughts on every author and idea, with a kind of humble uncertainty that showed he had complete faith in my understanding. I felt admired, like a superior being, by someone whose judgment my vanity told me was unlikely to be wrong: p. 86 I was preferred by him over all the other female visitors, whose wealth and status should have earned them much more attention. I noticed their little jealousies at the special attention he gave me; it was gratitude, it was pride, it was love! Love that had taken too deep a root in my heart before any declaration from him should have allowed for a response: but I interpreted every attentive glance and compliment as a sign of the passion I believed he felt, and attributed his silence to sensitivity, though it was really intentional. Eventually, he found a moment to confess his love: he spoke in such passionate terms that common sense might have doubted their sincerity; but common sense is rarely present in the situation I had unwittingly walked into; moreover, the kind of reading I was used to didn’t lead me to think that his words could be too intense to be genuine: I wasn’t even alarmed by how he talked about marriage, a commitment he often suggested genuine love should not be forced into. He would often say that a woman of my worth could easily keep his affection p. 87 forever. That honor, which I valued, was often brought in to support his views. However, I didn’t completely agree with them; instead, I found my respect for opposing views gradually fading. If it’s risky to be convinced, it’s also risky to listen; because our reason is like a machine that often can’t resist when the ear is continually bombarded.”
“In short, Mr. Harley (for I tire you with a relation, the catastrophe of which you will already have imagined), I fell a prey to his artifices. He had not been able so thoroughly to convert me, that my conscience was silent on the subject; but he was so assiduous to give repeated proofs of unabated affection, that I hushed its suggestions as they rose. The world, however, I knew, was not to be silenced; and therefore I took occasion to express my uneasiness to my seducer, and entreat him, as he valued the peace of one to whom he professed such attachment, to remove it by a marriage. He made excuse from his dependence on the will of his father, but quieted my fears by the promise of endeavouring to win his assent.
“In short, Mr. Harley (I don't want to bore you with a story whose ending you can already guess), I fell victim to his tricks. He hadn't completely swayed me enough for my conscience to be silent about it, but he was so diligent in showing his unwavering affection that I pushed those feelings aside whenever they came up. However, I knew I couldn't silence the world, so I took the opportunity to share my worries with my seducer and asked him, as someone who claimed to care for me, to ease my concerns by marrying me. He apologized, saying he was beholden to his father's wishes, but reassured me by promising to try to gain his approval.”
“My father had been some days absent on a visit to a dying relation, from whom he had considerable p. 88expectations. I was left at home, with no other company than my books: my books I found were not now such companions as they used to be; I was restless, melancholy, unsatisfied with myself. But judge my situation when I received a billet from Mr. Winbrooke informing me, that he had sounded Sir George on the subject we had talked of, and found him so averse to any match so unequal to his own rank and fortune, that he was obliged, with whatever reluctance, to bid adieu to a place, the remembrance of which should ever be dear to him.
“My father had been away for several days visiting a dying relative, from whom he had high hopes. I was left at home, with no company but my books. I found that my books were not the companions they used to be; I felt restless, sad, and unhappy with myself. But just think about my situation when I got a note from Mr. Winbrooke saying he had talked to Sir George about the issue we discussed and discovered that he was strongly opposed to a match so unequal to his own status and wealth, so he had to reluctantly say goodbye to a place that would always hold a special place in his heart.”
“I read this letter a hundred times over. Alone, helpless, conscious of guilt, and abandoned by every better thought, my mind was one motley scene of terror, confusion, and remorse. A thousand expedients suggested themselves, and a thousand fears told me they would be vain: at last, in an agony of despair, I packed up a few clothes, took what money and trinkets were in the house, and set out for London, whither I understood he was gone; pretending to my maid, that I had received letters from my father requiring my immediate attendance. I had no other companion than a boy, a servant to the man from whom I p. 89hired my horses. I arrived in London within an hour of Mr. Winbrooke, and accidentally alighted at the very inn where he was.
“I read this letter a hundred times. Alone, helpless, feeling guilty, and abandoned by any positive thoughts, my mind was a chaotic mix of fear, confusion, and regret. A thousand ideas came to me, but a thousand fears told me they wouldn’t work: finally, in a moment of pure despair, I packed a few clothes, took whatever money and jewelry I could find in the house, and headed to London, where I heard he had gone, pretending to my maid that I received letters from my father asking for my immediate presence. I had no companion other than a boy, a servant to the man from whom I p. 89rented my horses. I arrived in London just an hour after Mr. Winbrooke and accidentally checked into the very inn where he was staying."
“He started and turned pale when he saw me; but recovered himself in time enough to make many new protestations of regard, and beg me to make myself easy under a disappointment which was equally afflicting to him. He procured me lodgings, where I slept, or rather endeavoured to sleep, for that night. Next morning I saw him again, he then mildly observed on the imprudence of my precipitate flight from the country, and proposed my removing to lodgings at another end of the town, to elude the search of my father, till he should fall upon some method of excusing my conduct to him, and reconciling him to my return. We took a hackney-coach, and drove to the house he mentioned.
"He jumped and turned pale when he saw me, but quickly collected himself enough to make several new declarations of affection and urged me to not worry about a disappointment that was just as distressing for him. He arranged a place for me to stay, where I tried to sleep for the night. The next morning, I saw him again, and he gently pointed out the foolishness of my hasty escape from the country. He suggested that I move to a different place in the town to avoid my father's search until he could come up with a way to explain my actions to him and reconcile him to my return. We took a cab and headed to the house he mentioned."
“It was situated in a dirty lane, furnished with a tawdry affectation of finery, with some old family pictures hanging on walls which their own cobwebs would better have suited. I was struck with a secret dread at entering, nor was it lessened by the appearance of the landlady, who had that look of selfish shrewdness, which, of all others, is the p. 90most hateful to those whose feelings are untinctured with the world. A girl, who she told us was her niece, sat by her, playing on a guitar, while herself was at work, with the assistance of spectacles, and had a prayer-book with the leaves folded down in several places, lying on the table before her. Perhaps, sir, I tire you with my minuteness, but the place, and every circumstance about it, is so impressed on my mind, that I shall never forget it.
“It was located in a dirty alley, decorated with a cheap show of elegance, with some old family portraits hanging on walls better suited for their own cobwebs. I felt an unshakable fear as I entered, which only grew with the sight of the landlady, who had that look of selfish cunning, which is the p. 90most despised by those whose feelings are untouched by the world. A girl, whom she said was her niece, sat next to her playing a guitar, while the landlady worked, aided by her glasses, with a prayer book opened to several folded pages lying on the table in front of her. Perhaps, sir, I'm boring you with my details, but the place and every aspect of it is so etched in my memory that I will never forget it.”
“I dined that day with Mr. Winbrooke alone. He lost by degrees that restraint which I perceived too well to hang about him before, and, with his former gaiety and good humour, repeated the flattering things which, though they had once been fatal, I durst not now distrust. At last, taking my hand and kissing it, ‘It is thus,’ said he, ‘that love will last, while freedom is preserved; thus let us ever be blessed, without the galling thought that we are tied to a condition where we may cease to be so.’
“I had dinner that day with Mr. Winbrooke alone. He gradually lost the restraint that I had noticed in him before, and with his old cheerfulness and good humor, he repeated the flattering things which, although they had once been dangerous, I could not now doubt. Finally, taking my hand and kissing it, he said, ‘This is how love will last, as long as we keep our freedom; let us always be blessed like this, without the annoying thought that we are bound to a situation where we might stop feeling this way.’”
“I answered, ‘That the world thought otherwise: that it had certain ideas of good fame, which it was impossible not to wish to maintain.’
“I replied, ‘The world sees it differently: it has specific ideas about a good reputation that you can’t help but want to uphold.’”
“‘The world,’ said he, ‘is a tyrant, they are slaves who obey it; let us be happy without the p. 91pale of the world. To-morrow I shall leave this quarter of it, for one where the talkers of the world shall be foiled, and lose us. Could not my Emily accompany me? my friend, my companion, the mistress of my soul! Nay, do not look so, Emily! Your father may grieve for a while, but your father shall be taken care of; this bank-bill I intend as the comfort for his daughter.’
“‘The world,’ he said, ‘is a tyrant, and those who obey it are its slaves; let’s be happy outside the constraints of the world. Tomorrow, I’ll leave this part of it for a place where the chatter of the world will fade away and lose us. Could my Emily come with me? My friend, my companion, the one who rules my heart! No, don’t look like that, Emily! Your father might be upset for a bit, but he will be taken care of; this bank bill is meant to comfort his daughter.’”
“I could contain myself no longer: ‘Wretch,’ I exclaimed, ‘dost thou imagine that my father’s heart could brook dependence on the destroyer of his child, and tamely accept of a base equivalent for her honour and his own?’
“I couldn't hold back any longer: ‘Wretch,’ I shouted, ‘do you really think my father could stand depending on the person who destroyed his child, and quietly accept a disgraceful substitute for her honor and his own?’”
“‘Honour, my Emily,’ said he, ‘is the word of fools, or of those wiser men who cheat them. ’Tis a fantastic bauble that does not suit the gravity of your father’s age; but, whatever it is, I am afraid it can never be perfectly restored to you: exchange the word then, and let pleasure be your object now.’
“‘Honor, my Emily,’ he said, ‘is just a word used by fools or by smarter guys who take advantage of them. It’s a silly trinket that doesn't fit the seriousness of your father's age; but, whatever it is, I'm afraid it'll never be fully returned to you: so let’s forget about it and make pleasure your goal now.’”
“At these words he clasped me in his arms, and pressed his lips rudely to my bosom. I started from my seat. ‘Perfidious villain!’ said I, ‘who dar’st insult the weakness thou hast undone; were that father here, thy coward soul would shrink p. 92from the vengeance of his honour! Cursed be that wretch who has deprived him of it! oh doubly cursed, who has dragged on his hoary head the infamy which should have crushed her own!’ I snatched a knife which lay beside me, and would have plunged it in my breast, but the monster prevented my purpose, and smiling with a grin of barbarous insult—
“At these words, he grabbed me and pressed his lips roughly against my chest. I jumped out of my seat. ‘You treacherous scoundrel!’ I exclaimed, ‘who dares insult the weakness you've exploited; if that father were here, your cowardly soul would shrink p. 92from the wrath of his honor! Cursed be that wretch who has robbed him of it! Oh, doubly cursed is the one who has dragged the shame upon his gray head that should have crushed her own!’ I snatched a knife that was beside me and would have stabbed myself, but the monster stopped me, grinning with a cruel smirk—
“‘Madam,’ said he, ‘I confess you are rather too much in heroics for me; I am sorry we should differ about trifles; but as I seem somehow to have offended you, I would willingly remedy it by taking my leave. You have been put to some foolish expense in this journey on my account; allow me to reimburse you.’
“‘Madam,’ he said, ‘I admit you’re a bit too dramatic for my taste; I regret that we disagree over trivial matters. However, since it seems I’ve somehow upset you, I’d be happy to fix that by taking my leave. You’ve incurred some unnecessary expenses on this trip for my sake; please let me pay you back.’”
“So saying he laid a bank-bill, of what amount I had no patience to see, upon the table. Shame, grief, and indignation choked my utterance; unable to speak my wrongs, and unable to bear them in silence, I fell in a swoon at his feet.
“So saying, he put a banknote—of which amount I had no patience to check—on the table. Shame, grief, and anger took away my ability to speak; unable to voice my wrongs and unable to bear them in silence, I fainted at his feet.”
“What happened in the interval I cannot tell, but when I came to myself I was in the arms of the landlady, with her niece chafing my temples, and doing all in her power for my recovery. She had much compassion in her countenance; the old p. 93woman assumed the softest look she was capable of, and both endeavoured to bring me comfort. They continued to show me many civilities, and even the aunt began to be less disagreeable in my sight. To the wretched, to the forlorn, as I was, small offices of kindness are endearing.
“What happened during that time, I can’t say, but when I regained consciousness, I found myself in the landlady’s arms, with her niece gently massaging my temples and doing everything she could to help me recover. There was a lot of compassion on her face; the old woman put on the softest expression she could muster, and both of them tried their best to comfort me. They continued to be very kind to me, and even the aunt started to seem less unpleasant in my eyes. To those who are miserable and lost, like I was, even the smallest acts of kindness are heartwarming.”
“Meantime my money was far spent, nor did I attempt to conceal my wants from their knowledge. I had frequent thoughts of returning to my father; but the dread of a life of scorn is insurmountable. I avoided, therefore, going abroad when I had a chance of being seen by any former acquaintance, nor indeed did my health for a great while permit it; and suffered the old woman, at her own suggestion, to call me niece at home, where we now and then saw (when they could prevail on me to leave my room) one or two other elderly women, and sometimes a grave business-like man, who showed great compassion for my indisposition, and made me very obligingly an offer of a room at his country-house for the recovery of my health. This offer I did not chose to accept, but told my landlady, ‘that I should be glad to be employed in any way of business which my skill in needlework could recommend me to, confessing, at the p. 94same time, that I was afraid I should scarce be able to pay her what I already owed for board and lodging, and that for her other good offices, I had nothing but thanks to give her.’
“Meanwhile, I had spent almost all my money, and I didn't try to hide my struggles from anyone. I often thought about going back to my dad, but the fear of being looked down on was too much to handle. So, I avoided going out where I might run into old acquaintances, and besides, my health didn’t really allow it for quite a while. I let the old woman, as she suggested, call me her niece at home, where we occasionally had visits (when they could convince me to leave my room) from one or two other older women, and sometimes a serious man who offered me a lot of sympathy for my condition and kindly offered me a room at his country house to help me recover. I decided not to take him up on that offer, but I told my landlady that I would be happy to take on any kind of work that my needlework skills could get me, admitting, at the same time, that I was worried I wouldn’t be able to pay her the board and lodging I already owed, and that for all her other kindnesses, I had nothing but my thanks to offer her.”
“‘My dear child,’ said she, ‘do not talk of paying; since I lost my own sweet girl’ (here she wept), ‘your very picture she was, Miss Emily, I have nobody, except my niece, to whom I should leave any little thing I have been able to save; you shall live with me, my dear; and I have sometimes a little millinery work, in which, when you are inclined to it, you may assist us. By the way, here are a pair of ruffles we have just finished for that gentleman you saw here at tea; a distant relation of mine, and a worthy man he is. ’Twas pity you refused the offer of an apartment at his country house; my niece, you know, was to have accompanied you, and you might have fancied yourself at home; a most sweet place it is, and but a short mile beyond Hampstead. Who knows, Miss Emily, what effect such a visit might have had! If I had half your beauty I should not waste it pining after e’er a worthless fellow of them all.’
“‘My dear child,’ she said, ‘don’t talk about paying; since I lost my own sweet girl’ (she wept at this), ‘you were just like her, Miss Emily. I have nobody, except my niece, to whom I could leave any little thing I’ve managed to save; you will live with me, my dear; and I sometimes have a bit of millinery work, in which, when you feel like it, you can help us. By the way, here are a pair of ruffles we just finished for that gentleman you saw here at tea; he’s a distant relative of mine, and a good man he is. It was a shame you turned down the offer of an apartment at his country house; my niece, you know, was supposed to go with you, and you might have felt right at home there; it’s a lovely place, just a short mile beyond Hampstead. Who knows, Miss Emily, what such a visit might have done! If I had half your beauty, I wouldn’t waste it longing for any of those worthless guys.’”
“Her want of respect increased, as I had not spirit to assert it. My work was now rather imposed than offered, and I became a drudge for the bread I eat: but my dependence and servility grew in proportion, and I was now in a situation which could not make any extraordinary exertions to disengage itself from either—I found myself with child.
“Her lack of respect grew because I didn’t have the courage to stand up for myself. My work now felt more like a burden than a choice, and I became a laborer just to earn my keep: but my dependence and servitude increased along with it, and I found myself in a situation that couldn’t make any significant efforts to free itself from either—I discovered I was pregnant."
“At last the wretch, who had thus trained me to destruction, hinted the purpose for which those means had been used. I discovered her to be an artful procuress for the pleasures of those who are men of decency to the world in the midst of debauchery.
“At last, the miserable person who had led me to ruin hinted at the purpose for which those means had been used. I found out she was a sly facilitator for the pleasures of those who appear respectable in society while indulging in debauchery.”
“I roused every spark of courage within me at the horrid proposal. She treated my passion at first somewhat mildly, but when I continued to exert it she resented it with insult, and told me plainly that if I did not soon comply with her desires I should pay her every farthing I owed, or rot in a jail for life. I trembled at the thought; p. 96still, however, I resisted her importunities, and she put her threats in execution. I was conveyed to prison, weak from my condition, weaker from that struggle of grief and misery which for some time I had suffered. A miscarriage was the consequence.
“I summoned every bit of courage I had at the terrible proposal. She initially responded to my feelings somewhat gently, but when I kept expressing them, she reacted with insults and told me clearly that if I didn’t comply with her wishes soon, I would have to pay back every penny I owed her or spend the rest of my life in prison. The thought shook me; p. 96still, I resisted her persistent demands, and she followed through on her threats. I was taken to prison, weak from my situation and even weaker from the grief and misery I had been enduring for a while. I suffered a miscarriage as a result."
“Amidst all the horrors of such a state, surrounded with wretches totally callous, lost alike to humanity and to shame, think, Mr. Harley, think what I endured; nor wonder that I at last yielded to the solicitations of that miscreant I had seen at her house, and sunk to the prostitution which he tempted. But that was happiness compared to what I have suffered since. He soon abandoned me to the common use of the town, and I was cast among those miserable beings in whose society I have since remained.
“Amidst all the horrors of such a situation, surrounded by people who were completely heartless, indifferent to both humanity and shame, think, Mr. Harley, think about what I went through; don’t be surprised that I eventually gave in to the demands of that scoundrel I saw at her house, and fell into the degradation he lured me into. But that was a form of happiness compared to what I’ve suffered since. He quickly left me to the public’s use, and I was thrown among those miserable souls with whom I have remained ever since.”
“Oh! did the daughters of virtue know our sufferings; did they see our hearts torn with anguish amidst the affectation of gaiety which our faces are obliged to assume! our bodies tortured by disease, our minds with that consciousness which they cannot lose! Did they know, did they think of this, Mr. Harley! Their censures are just, but their pity perhaps might p. 97spare the wretches whom their justice should condemn.
“Oh! If only the daughters of virtue knew about our sufferings; if they could see our hearts torn with pain beneath the fake smiles we have to wear! Our bodies are tortured by illness, and our minds are burdened with a consciousness we can't escape! Did they know, did they even consider this, Mr. Harley? Their judgments are fair, but their compassion might p. 97 spare the miserable people whom their justice should condemn."
“Last night, but for an exertion of benevolence which the infection of our infamy prevents even in the humane, had I been thrust out from this miserable place which misfortune has yet left me; exposed to the brutal insults of drunkenness, or dragged by that justice which I could not bribe, to the punishment which may correct, but, alas! can never amend the abandoned objects of its terrors. From that, Mr. Harley, your goodness has relieved me.”
“Last night, if it weren't for a generous act that even our shame makes hard to muster, I would have been kicked out from this awful place that bad luck has still left me in; I would have been left to face the cruel taunts of drunks or pulled by that justice I couldn’t bribe, sent to a punishment that might correct but, sadly, can never truly fix the lost souls it terrorizes. Thanks to your kindness, Mr. Harley, I’ve been spared from that fate.”
He beckoned with his hand: he would have stopped the mention of his favours; but he could not speak, had it been to beg a diadem.
He waved his hand: he wanted to stop the mention of his favors; but he couldn't speak, even if it meant begging for a crown.
She saw his tears; her fortitude began to fail at the sight, when the voice of some stranger on the stairs awakened her attention. She listened for a moment, then starting up, exclaimed, “Merciful God! my father’s voice!”
She saw his tears; her strength started to wane at the sight, when the voice of a stranger on the stairs caught her attention. She listened for a moment, then jumped up and exclaimed, “Merciful God! That’s my father’s voice!”
She had scarce uttered the word, when the door burst open, and a man entered in the garb of an officer. When he discovered his daughter and Harley, he started back a few paces; his look assumed a furious wildness! he laid his hand on p. 98his sword. The two objects of his wrath did not utter a syllable.
“Villain,” he cried, “thou seest a father who had once a daughter’s honour to preserve; blasted as it now is, behold him ready to avenge its loss!”
“Villain,” he shouted, “you see a father who once had a daughter’s honor to protect; now that it’s ruined, look at him prepared to take revenge for its loss!”
Harley had by this time some power of utterance. “Sir,” said he, “if you will be a moment calm—”
Harley had, by this point, gained some ability to speak. “Sir,” he said, “if you could just be a moment calm—”
“Infamous coward!” interrupted the other, “dost thou preach calmness to wrongs like mine!”
“Infamous coward!” interrupted the other, “do you preach calmness for wrongs like mine!”
He drew his sword.
He unsheathed his sword.
“Sir,” said Harley, “let me tell you”—the blood ran quicker to his cheek, his pulse beat one, no more, and regained the temperament of humanity—“you are deceived, sir,” said he, “you are much deceived; but I forgive suspicions which your misfortunes have justified: I would not wrong you, upon my soul I would not, for the dearest gratification of a thousand worlds; my heart bleeds for you!”
“Sir,” said Harley, “let me tell you”—his face flushed, his pulse quickened, and he regained his composure—“you’re mistaken, sir,” he continued, “you’re very mistaken; but I can understand your suspicions considering your hardships: I wouldn’t wrong you, I swear I wouldn’t, for the greatest pleasure of a thousand worlds; my heart aches for you!”
His daughter was now prostrate at his feet.
His daughter was now lying at his feet.
“Strike,” said she, “strike here a wretch, whose misery cannot end but with that death she deserves.”
“Strike,” she said, “strike down a wretch here, whose misery can only end with the death she deserves.”
Her hair had fallen on her shoulders! her look p. 99had the horrid calmness of out-breathed despair! Her father would have spoken; his lip quivered, his cheek grew pale, his eyes lost the lightning of their fury! there was a reproach in them, but with a mingling of pity. He turned them up to heaven, then on his daughter. He laid his left hand on his heart, the sword dropped from his right, he burst into tears.
Her hair had fallen on her shoulders! Her expression had the terrible stillness of someone who had just given up! Her father wanted to say something; his lip trembled, his cheek turned pale, and his eyes lost the fiery anger they once had! There was a sense of accusation in his gaze, mixed with pity. He looked up to heaven and then back at his daughter. He placed his left hand on his heart, let the sword drop from his right, and broke down in tears.
CHAPTER XXIX.
A Father's Struggles.
Harley kneeled also at the side of the unfortunate daughter.
Harley knelt next to the unfortunate daughter.
“Allow me, sir,” said he, “to entreat your pardon for one whose offences have been already so signally punished. I know, I feel, that those tears, wrung from the heart of a father, are more dreadful to her than all the punishments your sword could have inflicted: accept the contrition of a child whom heaven has restored to you.”
“Please, sir,” he said, “let me ask for your forgiveness for someone whose wrongs have already been severely punished. I know, I feel, that those tears, forced from the heart of a father, are more terrible to her than any punishment your sword could have given: accept the remorse of a child whom heaven has brought back to you.”
“Calmly, my dear sir,” said Harley, “did you know by what complicated misfortunes she had fallen to that miserable state in which you now behold her, I should have no need of words to excite your compassion. Think, sir, of what once she was. Would you abandon her to the insults of an unfeeling world, deny her opportunity of penitence, and cut off the little comfort that still remains for your afflictions and her own!”
“Take it easy, my good sir,” said Harley. “If you knew the complicated misfortunes that led her to this miserable state you see her in now, you wouldn't need my words to feel compassion for her. Think, sir, about what she used to be. Would you really leave her to the cruelty of a heartless world, deny her a chance to make amends, and take away the little comfort that remains for both your suffering and hers?”
“Speak,” said he, addressing himself to his daughter; “speak; I will hear thee.”
“Speak,” he said, turning to his daughter. “Go ahead; I’m listening.”
The desperation that supported her was lost; she fell to the ground, and bathed his feet with her tears.
The desperation that had supported her faded; she collapsed to the ground and soaked his feet with her tears.
Harley undertook her cause: he related the treacheries to which she had fallen a sacrifice, and again solicited the forgiveness of her father. He looked on her for some time in silence; the pride of a soldier’s honour checked for a while the yearnings of his heart; but nature at last prevailed, he fell on her neck and mingled his tears with hers.
Harley took up her cause: he recounted the betrayals she had suffered and once more asked for her father’s forgiveness. He gazed at her in silence for a while; the pride of a soldier's honor held back the emotions in his heart for a moment, but eventually, nature won out. He embraced her and mixed his tears with hers.
Harley, who discovered from the dress of the p. 101stranger that he was just arrived from a journey, begged that they would both remove to his lodgings, till he could procure others for them. Atkins looked at him with some marks of surprise. His daughter now first recovered the power of speech.
Harley, noticing from the outfit of the p. 101stranger that he had just returned from a trip, urged them both to come to his place until he could find other accommodations for them. Atkins looked at him with a hint of surprise. It was at this moment that his daughter finally regained the ability to speak.
“Wretch as I am,” said she, “yet there is some gratitude due to the preserver of your child. See him now before you. To him I owe my life, or at least the comfort of imploring your forgiveness before I die.”
“Wretched as I am,” she said, “still, I owe some gratitude to the one who saved your child. Look at him now, right in front of you. To him, I owe my life, or at least the chance to ask for your forgiveness before I die.”
“Pardon me, young gentleman,” said Atkins, “I fear my passion wronged you.”
“Excuse me, young man,” said Atkins, “I’m afraid my emotions hurt you.”
“Never, never, sir,” said Harley “if it had, your reconciliation to your daughter were an atonement a thousand fold.” He then repeated his request that he might be allowed to conduct them to his lodgings, to which Mr. Atkins at last consented. He took his daughter’s arm.
“Never, never, sir,” said Harley. “If it had, your making up with your daughter would be an atonement a thousand times over.” He then repeated his request to be allowed to take them to his place, which Mr. Atkins finally agreed to. He took his daughter’s arm.
“Come, my Emily,” said he, “we can never, never recover that happiness we have lost! but time may teach us to remember our misfortunes with patience.”
“Come, my Emily,” he said, “we can never, ever get back the happiness we've lost! But with time, we might learn to think about our misfortunes with patience.”
When they arrived at the house where Harley lodged, he was informed that the first floor was then vacant, and that the gentleman and his p. 102daughter might be accommodated there. While he was upon his enquiry, Miss Atkins informed her father more particularly what she owed to his benevolence. When he turned into the room where they were Atkins ran and embraced him;—begged him again to forgive the offence he had given him, and made the warmest protestations of gratitude for his favours. We would attempt to describe the joy which Harley felt on this occasion, did it not occur to us that one half of the world could not understand it though we did, and the other half will, by this time, have understood it without any description at all.
When they reached the house where Harley was staying, he was told that the first floor was available, and that the gentleman and his p. 102 daughter could stay there. While he was asking about it, Miss Atkins told her father more specifically what she owed to his kindness. When he entered the room where they were, Atkins ran over and hugged him; she asked him once more to forgive the offense she had caused and expressed her deepest gratitude for his kindness. We would try to explain the joy Harley felt in that moment, but it occurs to us that one half of the world wouldn’t really get it even though we do, and the other half will have already understood it without any need for explanation.
Miss Atkins now retired to her chamber, to take some rest from the violence of the emotions she had suffered. When she was gone, her father, addressing himself to Harley, said, “You have a right, sir, to be informed of the present situation of one who owes so much to your compassion for his misfortunes. My daughter I find has informed you what that was at the fatal juncture when they began. Her distresses you have heard, you have pitied as they deserved; with mine, perhaps, I cannot so easily make you acquainted. You have a feeling heart, Mr. Harley; I bless it p. 103that it has saved my child; but you never were a father, a father torn by that most dreadful of calamities, the dishonour of a child he doated on! You have been already informed of some of the circumstances of her elopement: I was then from home, called by the death of a relation, who, though he would never advance me a shilling on the utmost exigency in his life-time, left me all the gleanings of his frugality at his death. I would not write this intelligence to my daughter, because I intended to be the bearer myself; and as soon as my business would allow me, I set out on my return, winged with all the haste of paternal affection. I fondly built those schemes of future happiness, which present prosperity is ever busy to suggest: my Emily was concerned in them all. As I approached our little dwelling my heart throbbed with the anticipation of joy and welcome. I imagined the cheering fire, the blissful contentment of a frugal meal, made luxurious by a daughter’s smile, I painted to myself her surprise at the tidings of our new-acquired riches, our fond disputes about the disposal of them.
Miss Atkins now retired to her room to rest from the turmoil of emotions she had experienced. Once she left, her father turned to Harley and said, “You have a right to know about the current situation of someone who owes so much to your kindness for his misfortunes. My daughter has explained to you what happened at that fateful moment when everything began. You’ve heard of her struggles, and you’ve felt sorry for her as you should; with mine, perhaps, it’s harder for me to share. You have a kind heart, Mr. Harley; I’m grateful that it has saved my child; but you’ve never been a father, a father tormented by the worst of tragedies, the shame of a child he adored! You’ve already been informed about some of the details of her running away: I was away from home because of a relative's death, who, though he never lent me a penny during his life, left me the little savings he had when he passed. I didn’t want to write this news to my daughter because I planned to tell her myself; and as soon as I was able, I rushed back, filled with all the eagerness of a loving father. I dreamed of future happiness, which hope often leads us to imagine: my Emily was part of those dreams. As I approached our small home, my heart raced with anticipation of joy and a warm welcome. I envisioned the cozy fire, the happiness of a simple meal made special by my daughter’s smile, and I imagined her surprise at our newfound wealth and our excited discussions about what to do with it.”
“The road was shortened by the dreams of happiness I enjoyed, and it began to be dark as I p. 104reached the house: I alighted from my horse, and walked softly upstairs to the room we commonly sat in. I was somewhat disappointed at not finding my daughter there. I rung the bell; her maid appeared, and shewed no small signs of wonder at the summons. She blessed herself as she entered the room: I smiled at her surprise. ‘Where is Miss Emily, sir?’ said she.
“The road felt shorter because of the happy dreams I had, and it started to get dark as I p. 104 reached the house: I got off my horse and quietly walked upstairs to the room we usually sat in. I was a bit disappointed to find my daughter wasn’t there. I rang the bell; her maid came in, looking quite surprised by the call. She crossed herself as she entered the room: I smiled at her astonishment. ‘Where is Miss Emily, sir?’ she asked.”
“‘Emily!’
"‘Emily!’"
“‘Yes, sir; she has been gone hence some days, upon receipt of those letters you sent her.’
“‘Yes, sir; she has been gone for a few days since she got those letters you sent her.’”
“‘Letters!’ said I.
"‘Letters!’ I exclaimed."
“‘Yes, sir, so she told me, and went off in all haste that very night.’
“‘Yeah, sir, that's what she told me, and she hurried off that very night.’”
“I stood aghast as she spoke, but was able so far to recollect myself, as to put on the affectation of calmness, and telling her there was certainly some mistake in the affair, desired her to leave me.
“I stood in shock as she spoke, but I managed to gather myself enough to fake calmness and told her that there must be some mistake in this situation and asked her to leave me.”
“When she was gone, I threw myself into a chair, in that state of uncertainty which is, of all others, the most dreadful. The gay visions with which I had delighted myself, vanished in an instant. I was tortured with tracing back the same circle of doubt and disappointment. My p. 105head grew dizzy as I thought. I called the servant again, and asked her a hundred questions, to no purpose; there was not room even for conjecture.
“When she left, I collapsed into a chair, overwhelmed by that kind of uncertainty that’s worse than anything else. The happy thoughts that had brought me joy disappeared in an instant. I was tormented by going around the same cycle of doubt and disappointment. My p. 105head started spinning as I thought. I called the servant again and fired off a hundred questions, but it was pointless; there wasn’t even space for speculation.”
“Something at last arose in my mind, which we call Hope, without knowing what it is. I wished myself deluded by it; but it could not prevail over my returning fears. I rose and walked through the room. My Emily’s spinnet stood at the end of it, open, with a book of music folded down at some of my favourite lessons. I touched the keys; there was a vibration in the sound that froze my blood; I looked around, and methought the family pictures on the walls gazed on me with compassion in their faces. I sat down again with an attempt at more composure; I started at every creaking of the door, and my ears rung with imaginary noises!
“Finally, something popped into my mind that we call Hope, even though we don’t really understand what it is. I wished I could be fooled by it, but it couldn’t overpower my returning fears. I got up and walked around the room. My Emily’s spinnet was at the end, open, with a music book turned down at some of my favorite pieces. I pressed the keys; there was a sound that sent chills through me. I looked around, and I thought the family portraits on the walls were looking at me with sympathy. I sat down again, trying to appear more composed; I flinched at every creaking door, and my ears buzzed with imagined noises!”
“I had not remained long in this situation, when the arrival of a friend, who had accidentally heard of my return, put an end to my doubts, by the recital of my daughter’s dishonour. He told me he had his information from a young gentleman, to whom Winbrooke had boasted of having seduced her.
“I hadn’t been in this situation for long when a friend of mine, who had heard about my return by chance, put an end to my doubts by telling me about my daughter’s disgrace. He said he got his information from a young man who had heard Winbrooke brag about having seduced her.”
“I started from my seat, with broken curses on p. 106my lips, and without knowing whither I should pursue them, ordered my servant to load my pistols and saddle my horses. My friend, however, with great difficulty, persuaded me to compose myself for that night, promising to accompany me on the morrow, to Sir George Winbrooke’s in quest of his son.
“I got up from my seat, muttering curses under my breath, and without knowing where I should go, I told my servant to load my pistols and saddle the horses. My friend, however, managed to convince me to calm down for the night, promising to go with me the next day to Sir George Winbrooke’s to look for his son."
“The morrow came, after a night spent in a state little distant from madness. We went as early as decency would allow to Sir George’s. He received me with politeness, and indeed compassion, protested his abhorrence of his son’s conduct, and told me that he had set out some days before for London, on which place he had procured a draft for a large sum, on pretence of finishing his travels, but that he had not heard from him since his departure.
“The next day arrived after a night spent in a state close to madness. We went as early as decency allowed to Sir George’s. He welcomed me with politeness and, honestly, sympathy, expressed his disgust for his son’s behavior, and told me that he had left a few days earlier for London, where he had arranged a draft for a large amount, under the pretense of completing his travels, but that he hadn’t heard from him since he left.”
“I did not wait for any more, either of information or comfort, but, against the united remonstrances of Sir George and my friend, set out instantly for London, with a frantic uncertainty of purpose; but there, all manner of search was in vain. I could trace neither of them any farther than the inn where they first put up on their arrival; and after some days fruitless inquiry, returned p. 107home destitute of every little hope that had hitherto supported me. The journeys I had made, the restless nights I had spent, above all, the perturbation of my mind, had the effect which naturally might be expected—a very dangerous fever was the consequence. From this, however, contrary to the expectation of my physicians, I recovered. It was now that I first felt something like calmness of mind: probably from being reduced to a state which could not produce the exertions of anguish or despair. A stupid melancholy settled on my soul; I could endure to live with an apathy of life; at times I forgot my resentment, and wept at the remembrance of my child.
“I didn’t wait for any more information or comfort, but, despite Sir George and my friend’s protests, I immediately set out for London, feeling wildly uncertain about my purpose; however, all my searching there was in vain. I couldn’t trace either of them beyond the inn where they had first stayed upon arriving; after several days of fruitless inquiries, I returned home p. 107without any of the little hope that had previously kept me going. The journeys I had taken, the restless nights I had endured, and especially the turmoil in my mind led to what could only be expected—a very serious fever as a result. Surprisingly, I recovered from it despite what my doctors had predicted. It was then that I first experienced something like calmness of mind, likely because I was reduced to a state that couldn’t produce anguish or despair. A heavy sadness settled over my soul; I managed to live with an indifference to life; at times, I forgot my anger and wept at the memory of my child.
“Such has been the tenor of my days since that fatal moment when these misfortunes began, till yesterday, that I received a letter from a friend in town, acquainting me of her present situation. Could such tales as mine, Mr. Harley, be sometimes suggested to the daughters of levity, did they but know with what anxiety the heart of a parent flutters round the child he loves, they would be less apt to construe into harshness that delicate concern for their conduct, which they often complain of as laying restraint upon things, to the p. 108young, the gay, and the thoughtless, seemingly harmless and indifferent. Alas! I fondly imagined that I needed not even these common cautions! my Emily was the joy of my age, and the pride of my soul! Those things are now no more, they are lost for ever! Her death I could have born, but the death of her honour has added obloquy and shame to that sorrow which bends my grey hairs to the dust!”
“Things have been this way for me since that tragic moment when these misfortunes started, up until yesterday, when I got a letter from a friend in town updating me on her current situation. If stories like mine could ever reach the ears of frivolous young women, Mr. Harley, and if they understood how much a parent's heart aches for their beloved child, they would be less likely to interpret my genuine concern for their behavior as harshness, which they often complain about as a restriction on the fun and carefree lives of the youthful and thoughtless. Unfortunately! I used to believe I didn’t even need to give those usual warnings! My Emily was the joy of my life and the pride of my soul! Those days are gone forever! I could have dealt with her death, but the loss of her honor has added disgrace and shame to the grief that makes my gray hair bow to the ground!”
As he spoke these last words, his voice trembled in his throat; it was now lost in his tears. He sat with his face half turned from Harley, as if he would have hid the sorrow which he felt. Harley was in the same attitude himself; he durst not meet his eye with a tear, but gathering his stifled breath, “Let me entreat you, sir,” said he, “to hope better things. The world is ever tyrannical; it warps our sorrows to edge them with keener affliction. Let us not be slaves to the names it affixes to motive or to action. I know an ingenuous mind cannot help feeling when they sting. But there are considerations by which it may be overcome. Its fantastic ideas vanish as they rise; they teach us to look beyond it.”
As he said those final words, his voice shook with emotion; it soon got lost in his tears. He sat with his face turned partly away from Harley, as if trying to hide the sadness he felt. Harley was in the same position; he couldn't meet his gaze while holding back tears, but taking a deep breath, he said, “Please, sir, let me urge you to hold on to hope. The world is always harsh; it twists our sorrows, making them even more painful. We shouldn’t be prisoners of the labels it puts on our motives or actions. I know a sincere heart can't help but feel when it's hurt. But there are ways to rise above it. Those bizarre ideas fade away as quickly as they appear; they remind us to look beyond them.”
* * * * *
Sure! Please provide the short piece of text you'd like to have modernized.
p. 109A
FRAGMENT.
DEMONSTRATING HIS SUCCESS WITH THE BARONET.
* * The card he received was in the politest style in which disappointment could be communicated. The baronet “was under a necessity of giving up his application for Mr. Harley, as he was informed that the lease was engaged for a gentleman who had long served His Majesty in another capacity, and whose merit had entitled him to the first lucrative thing that should be vacant.” Even Harley could not murmur at such a disposal. “Perhaps,” said he to himself, “some war-worn officer, who, like poor Atkins, had been neglected from reasons which merited the highest advancement; whose honour could not stoop to solicit the preferment he deserved; perhaps, with a family, taught the principles of delicacy, without the means of supporting it; a wife and children—gracious heaven! whom my wishes would have deprived of bread—”
* * The card he received communicated disappointment in the politest way possible. The baronet “had to withdraw his application for Mr. Harley because he was informed that the lease was taken by a gentleman who had long served His Majesty in a different role and whose achievements warranted the first available profitable position.” Even Harley couldn’t complain about such an outcome. “Maybe,” he thought to himself, “some battle-worn officer, like poor Atkins, who was overlooked for reasons that deserved top promotion; whose honor couldn’t bring him to ask for the advancement he deserved; perhaps with a family, instilled with the principles of dignity, but lacking the means to support it; a wife and children—gracious heaven! whom my wishes would have denied bread—”
He was interrupted in his reverie by some one tapping him on the shoulder, and, on turning round, p. 110he discovered it to be the very man who had explained to him the condition of his gay companion at Hyde Park Corner. “I am glad to see you, sir,” said he; “I believe we are fellows in disappointment.” Harley started, and said that he was at a loss to understand him. “Pooh! you need not be so shy,” answered the other; “every one for himself is but fair, and I had much rather you had got it than the rascally gauger.” Harley still protested his ignorance of what he meant. “Why, the lease of Bancroft Manor; had not you been applying for it?” “I confess I was,” replied Harley; “but I cannot conceive how you should be interested in the matter.” “Why, I was making interest for it myself,” said he, “and I think I had some title. I voted for this same baronet at the last election, and made some of my friends do so too; though I would not have you imagine that I sold my vote. No, I scorn it, let me tell you I scorn it; but I thought as how this man was staunch and true, and I find he’s but a double-faced fellow after all, and speechifies in the House for any side he hopes to make most by. Oh, how many fine speeches and squeezings by the hand we had of him on the canvas! ‘And if ever p. 111I shall be so happy as to have an opportunity of serving you.’ A murrain on the smooth-tongued knave, and after all to get it for this pimp of a gauger.” “The gauger! there must be some mistake,” said Harley. “He writes me, that it was engaged for one whose long services—” “Services!” interrupted the other; “you shall hear. Services! Yes, his sister arrived in town a few days ago, and is now sempstress to the baronet. A plague on all rogues, says honest Sam Wrightson. I shall but just drink damnation to them to-night, in a crown’s worth of Ashley’s, and leave London to-morrow by sun-rise.” “I shall leave it too,” said Harley; and so he accordingly did.
He was pulled from his daydream by someone tapping him on the shoulder, and when he turned around, p. 110 he found it was the very man who had told him about his cheerful companion at Hyde Park Corner. “I'm glad to see you, sir,” he said; “I think we share the same disappointment.” Harley was taken aback and admitted he didn’t understand. “Oh, you don’t need to be so shy,” the other replied; “it’s only fair that everyone looks out for themselves, and I’d much prefer you got it instead of that sneaky gauger.” Harley insisted he was still confused. “I mean the lease for Bancroft Manor; weren’t you applying for it?” “I admit I was,” Harley said, “but I can’t see why you’d be interested.” “Well, I was trying to get it for myself,” he explained, “and I thought I had a right to. I voted for that same baronet in the last election and made some friends do the same, though don’t get the idea I sold my vote. No, I’d never do that; I take pride in it, let me tell you. But I thought this guy was genuine, and it turns out he’s just a two-faced politician who supports whoever can give him the most. Oh, how many nice speeches and handshakes we got from him on the campaign trail! ‘And if I ever p. 111 have the chance to help you, I’d be so happy.’ Curse that smooth-talking scoundrel, and to end up with this sleazy gauger.” “The gauger! There must be some mistake,” Harley said. “He wrote to me that it was promised to someone for their long services—” “Services!” interrupted the other. “Let me tell you. Services! Yes, his sister just came to town a few days ago and is now the seamstress for the baronet. A plague on all crooks, as honest Sam Wrightson says. I’ll just drink to their downfall tonight with a crown’s worth of Ashley’s, and I’m leaving London by sunrise tomorrow.” “I’ll be leaving too,” Harley said, and that’s exactly what he did.
In passing through Piccadilly, he had observed, on the window of an inn, a notification of the departure of a stage-coach for a place in his road homewards; in the way back to his lodgings, he took a seat in it for his return.
In passing through Piccadilly, he noticed a sign in the window of an inn announcing the departure of a stagecoach heading to a place on his way home. On his way back to his lodgings, he decided to take a seat on it for his return trip.
p. 112CHAPTER XXXIII.
HE LEAVES LONDON—CHARACTERS IN A STAGECOACH.
The company in the stage-coach consisted of a grocer and his wife, who were going to pay a visit to some of their country friends; a young officer, who took this way of marching to quarters; a middle-aged gentlewoman, who had been hired as housekeeper to some family in the country; and an elderly, well-looking man, with a remarkable old-fashioned periwig.
The company in the stagecoach included a grocer and his wife, who were on their way to visit some friends in the countryside; a young officer, who was using this route to get to his post; a middle-aged woman, who had been hired as a housekeeper for a family in the country; and an older, distinguished-looking man wearing a striking old-fashioned wig.
Harley, upon entering, discovered but one vacant seat, next the grocer’s wife, which, from his natural shyness of temper, he made no scruple to occupy, however aware that riding backwards always disagreed with him.
Harley walked in and found only one empty seat, next to the grocer's wife. Despite his natural shyness, he didn’t hesitate to take it, even though he knew that riding backward usually didn’t sit well with him.
Though his inclination to physiognomy had met with some rubs in the metropolis, he had not yet lost his attachment to that science. He set himself, therefore, to examine, as usual, the countenances of his companions. Here, indeed, he was not long in doubt as to the preference; for besides p. 113that the elderly gentleman, who sat opposite to him, had features by nature more expressive of good dispositions, there was something in that periwig we mentioned, peculiarly attractive of Harley’s regard.
Though his interest in reading faces had faced some setbacks in the city, he hadn’t lost his passion for that practice. So, he made it a point to observe the expressions of his companions, as usual. Here, he quickly found his preference; not only did the older gentleman sitting across from him have naturally more expressive features of kindness, but there was also something about that wig we mentioned that particularly caught Harley’s attention.
He had not been long employed in these speculations, when he found himself attacked with that faintish sickness, which was the natural consequence of his situation in the coach. The paleness of his countenance was first observed by the housekeeper, who immediately made offer of her smelling bottle, which Harley, however, declined, telling at the same time the cause of his uneasiness. The gentleman, on the opposite side of the coach, now first turned his eye from the side direction in which it had been fixed, and begged Harley to exchange places with him, expressing his regret that he had not made the proposal before. Harley thanked him, and, upon being assured that both seats were alike to him, was about to accept of his offer, when the young gentleman of the sword, putting on an arch look, laid hold of the other’s arm. “So, my old boy,” said he, “I find you have still some youthful blood about you, but, with your leave, I will do myself the honour of sitting p. 114by this lady;” and took his place accordingly. The grocer stared him as full in the face as his own short neck would allow, and his wife, who was a little, round-faced woman, with a great deal of colour in her cheeks, drew up at the compliment that was paid her, looking first at the officer, and then at the housekeeper.
He hadn’t been working on these ideas for long when he suddenly felt that lightheaded sickness that comes from being in a coach. The housekeeper was the first to notice his pale complexion and immediately offered him her smelling salts, which Harley declined, explaining what was making him uncomfortable. The gentleman across from him finally looked away from where he’d been staring and asked Harley to switch seats, saying he wished he’d suggested it sooner. Harley thanked him and was about to accept the offer when the young man in the sword outfit, with a playful look, grabbed the other guy’s arm. “So, my old friend,” he said, “I see you still have some youthful energy, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to sit p. 114next to this lady;” and he took his seat. The grocer stared at him as best as his short neck would allow, while his wife, a little round-faced woman with rosy cheeks, puffed up at the compliment, looking first at the officer and then at the housekeeper.
This incident was productive of some discourse; for before, though there was sometimes a cough or a hem from the grocer, and the officer now and then humm’d a few notes of a song, there had not a single word passed the lips of any of the company.
This incident sparked some conversation; because before, there were only occasional coughs or ahem from the grocer, and the officer would hum a few notes of a song now and then, but not a single word was spoken by anyone in the group.
Mrs. Grocer observed, how ill-convenient it was for people, who could not be drove backwards, to travel in a stage. This brought on a dissertation on stage-coaches in general, and the pleasure of keeping a chay of one’s own; which led to another, on the great riches of Mr. Deputy Bearskin, who, according to her, had once been of that industrious order of youths who sweep the crossings of the streets for the conveniency of passengers, but, by various fortunate accidents, had now acquired an immense fortune, and kept his coach and a dozen livery servants. All this afforded ample fund for p. 115conversation, if conversation it might be called, that was carried on solely by the before-mentioned lady, nobody offering to interrupt her, except that the officer sometimes signified his approbation by a variety of oaths, a sort of phraseology in which he seemed extremely versant. She appealed indeed, frequently, to her husband for the authenticity of certain facts, of which the good man as often protested his total ignorance; but as he was always called fool, or something very like it, for his pains, he at last contrived to support the credit of his wife without prejudice to his conscience, and signified his assent by a noise not unlike the grunting of that animal which in shape and fatness he somewhat resembled.
Mrs. Grocer noted how inconvenient it was for people who couldn’t go backwards to travel in a stagecoach. This led to a discussion about stagecoaches in general and the joy of having your own carriage, which transitioned into a talk about the great wealth of Mr. Deputy Bearskin. According to her, he had once been part of that hardworking group of young people who sweep the streets for the convenience of pedestrians, but through a series of fortunate events, he had amassed a huge fortune and owned a coach with a dozen liveried servants. All this provided plenty of material for p. 115conversation, if you could call it that, since it was mainly dominated by the lady mentioned before, with nobody daring to interrupt her. Occasionally, the officer showed his approval with various oaths, a way of speaking he seemed quite familiar with. She often turned to her husband for validation of certain facts, to which the poor man would regularly claim he had no idea. However, since he was constantly called a fool or something similar for his trouble, he eventually found a way to support his wife’s credibility without compromising his own conscience, expressing his agreement with a sound resembling the grunt of an animal he somewhat resembled in shape and girth.
The housekeeper, and the old gentleman who sat next to Harley, were now observed to be fast asleep, at which the lady, who had been at such pains to entertain them, muttered some words of displeasure, and, upon the officer’s whispering to smoke the old put, both she and her husband purs’d up their mouths into a contemptuous smile. Harley looked sternly on the grocer. “You are come, sir,” said he, “to those years when you might have learned some reverence for age. As p. 116for this young man, who has so lately escaped from the nursery, he may be allowed to divert himself.” “Dam’me, sir!” said the officer, “do you call me young?” striking up the front of his hat, and stretching forward on his seat, till his face almost touched Harley’s. It is probable, however, that he discovered something there which tended to pacify him, for, on the ladies entreating them not to quarrel, he very soon resumed his posture and calmness together, and was rather less profuse of his oaths during the rest of the journey.
The housekeeper and the old gentleman sitting next to Harley were now clearly fast asleep, which made the lady, who had worked so hard to entertain them, mumble some words of annoyance. When the officer suggested to smoke the old man out, both she and her husband curled their lips into a contemptuous smile. Harley cast a stern look at the grocer. “You’ve reached an age, sir,” he said, “where you should have learned to respect your elders. And as for this young man, who’s only just out of the nursery, he can be allowed to have some fun.” “Dammit, sir!” the officer exclaimed, “are you calling me young?” as he pushed up the brim of his hat and leaned forward in his seat until his face was almost touching Harley’s. However, it’s likely he noticed something that calmed him down, because when the ladies asked them not to fight, he quickly settled back into his seat and his calm demeanor, and he swore a bit less for the rest of the journey.
It is possible the old gentleman had waked time enough to hear the last part of this discourse; at least (whether from that cause, or that he too was a physiognomist) he wore a look remarkably complacent to Harley, who, on his part, shewed a particular observance of him. Indeed, they had soon a better opportunity of making their acquaintance, as the coach arrived that night at the town where the officer’s regiment lay, and the places of destination of their other fellow-travellers, it seems, were at no great distance, for, next morning, the old gentleman and Harley were the only passengers remaining.
It’s possible the old gentleman had woken up just in time to catch the last part of this conversation. At least, whether due to that or because he was also good at reading faces, he looked particularly pleased to see Harley, who, in turn, showed him special attention. They quickly had a better chance to get to know each other when the coach arrived that night in the town where the officer’s regiment was stationed. It turns out the other passengers had destinations nearby because, by the next morning, the old gentleman and Harley were the only ones left.
When they left the inn in the morning, Harley, p. 117pulling out a little pocket-book, began to examine the contents, and make some corrections with a pencil. “This,” said he, turning to his companion, “is an amusement with which I sometimes pass idle hours at an inn. These are quotations from those humble poets, who trust their fame to the brittle tenure of windows and drinking-glasses.” “From our inn,” returned the gentleman, “a stranger might imagine that we were a nation of poets; machines, at least, containing poetry, which the motion of a journey emptied of their contents. Is it from the vanity of being thought geniuses, or a mere mechanical imitation of the custom of others, that we are tempted to scrawl rhyme upon such places?”
When they left the inn in the morning, Harley, p. 117pulling out a small notebook, started to look through it and make some changes with a pencil. “This,” he said, turning to his companion, “is a pastime I sometimes enjoy during quiet hours at an inn. These are quotes from those lesser poets, who rely on the fragile nature of windows and drinking glasses for their recognition.” “From our inn,” replied the gentleman, “a stranger might think we're a nation of poets; machines, at least, filled with poetry, which traveling empties out. Is it from the pride of wanting to be seen as geniuses, or just blindly copying what others do, that we feel the urge to scribble rhyme in such places?”
“Whether vanity is the cause of our becoming rhymesters or not,” answered Harley, “it is a pretty certain effect of it. An old man of my acquaintance, who deals in apothegms, used to say that he had known few men without envy, few wits without ill-nature, and no poet without vanity; and I believe his remark is a pretty just one. Vanity has been immemorially the charter of poets. In this, the ancients were more honest than we are. The old poets frequently make p. 118boastful predictions of the immortality their works shall acquire them; ours, in their dedications and prefatory discourses, employ much eloquence to praise their patrons, and much seeming modesty to condemn themselves, or at least to apologise for their productions to the world. But this, in my opinion, is the more assuming manner of the two; for of all the garbs I ever saw Pride put on, that of her humility is to me the most disgusting.”
“Whether vanity is what makes us poets or not,” Harley replied, “it definitely seems to be a pretty common result. An older friend of mine, who loves to share sayings, once said he had met few men who weren’t envious, few intellectuals who weren’t unpleasant, and no poets who weren’t vain; I think he was spot on. Vanity has always been part of being a poet. The ancient poets were more straightforward about it than we are today. The old poets often made grand claims about the immortality their works would earn them; ours, in their dedications and introductions, use a lot of flowery language to flatter their sponsors and show false modesty to downplay themselves or at least excuse their work to the public. But in my view, that’s the more arrogant approach of the two; of all the disguises I’ve ever seen Pride wear, her humility is the most repulsive to me.”
“It is natural enough for a poet to be vain,” said the stranger. “The little worlds which he raises, the inspiration which he claims, may easily be productive of self-importance; though that inspiration is fabulous, it brings on egotism, which is always the parent of vanity.”
“It’s pretty common for a poet to be vain,” said the stranger. “The little worlds they create, the inspiration they talk about, can easily lead to a sense of self-importance; even if that inspiration is exaggerated, it results in egotism, which is always the root of vanity.”
“It may be supposed,” answered Harley, “that inspiration of old was an article of religious faith; in modern times it may be translated a propensity to compose; and I believe it is not always most readily found where the poets have fixed its residence, amidst groves and plains, and the scenes of pastoral retirement. The mind may be there unbent from the cares of the world, but it will frequently, at the same time, be unnerved from any p. 119great exertion. It will feel imperfect, and wander without effort over the regions of reflection.”
“It might be thought,” replied Harley, “that inspiration in the past was seen as a matter of faith; nowadays, it could be described as a tendency to create. And I believe it’s not always found most easily where poets say it resides, in groves and fields, and the settings of peaceful retreat. The mind might be free from the stresses of life, but it can often feel too relaxed to make any significant effort. It may feel incomplete and drift effortlessly through the realms of contemplation.”
“There is at least,” said the stranger, “one advantage in the poetical inclination, that it is an incentive to philanthropy. There is a certain poetic ground, on which a man cannot tread without feelings that enlarge the heart: the causes of human depravity vanish before the romantic enthusiasm he professes, and many who are not able to reach the Parnassian heights, may yet approach so near as to be bettered by the air of the climate.”
“There is at least,” said the stranger, “one advantage to having a poetic inclination, and that is it encourages a sense of philanthropy. There’s a certain poetic ground where a person can’t walk without feelings that expand the heart: the reasons for human wrongdoing disappear in the face of the romantic enthusiasm he expresses, and many who may not be able to reach the heights of Parnassus can still come close enough to benefit from the atmosphere.”
“I have always thought so,” replied Harley; “but this is an argument with the prudent against it: they urge the danger of unfitness for the world.”
“I've always believed that,” Harley replied; “but this is an argument that the cautious make against it: they point out the risk of not being ready for the world.”
“I allow it,” returned the other; “but I believe it is not always rightfully imputed to the bent for poetry: that is only one effect of the common cause.—Jack, says his father, is indeed no scholar; nor could all the drubbings from his master ever bring him one step forward in his accidence or syntax: but I intend him for a merchant.—Allow the same indulgence to Tom.—Tom reads Virgil and Horace when he should be casting accounts; p. 120and but t’other day he pawned his great-coat for an edition of Shakespeare.—But Tom would have been as he is, though Virgil and Horace had never been born, though Shakespeare had died a link-boy; for his nurse will tell you, that when he was a child, he broke his rattle, to discover what it was that sounded within it; and burnt the sticks of his go-cart, because he liked to see the sparkling of timber in the fire.—’Tis a sad case; but what is to be done?—Why, Jack shall make a fortune, dine on venison, and drink claret.—Ay, but Tom—Tom shall dine with his brother, when his pride will let him; at other times, he shall bless God over a half-pint of ale and a Welsh-rabbit; and both shall go to heaven as they may.—That’s a poor prospect for Tom, says the father.—To go to heaven! I cannot agree with him.”
“I see your point,” the other replied, “but I think it’s not always fairly attributed to a love of poetry; that’s just one result of a common issue. Jack, as his father says, is not a scholar at all; no amount of beatings from his teacher could ever help him improve in grammar or composition. But I plan to make him a merchant. Let’s give the same chance to Tom. Tom reads Virgil and Horace when he should be doing math; just the other day, he pawned his heavy coat to buy an edition of Shakespeare. But Tom would be just the same, even if Virgil and Horace had never existed, and if Shakespeare had died a nobody, because his nurse will tell you that when he was a kid, he broke his rattle to find out what made it sound, and burned the sticks of his toy cart just to see the sparks from the wood in the fire. It’s a tough situation; but what can we do? Well, Jack will make a fortune, feast on venison, and drink claret. But Tom—Tom will dine with his brother, when his pride allows it; at other times, he’ll thank God over a half-pint of ale and a Welsh rarebit, and both will find their way to heaven in their own ways. That’s a bleak future for Tom, his father says. To go to heaven! I can’t agree with him.”
“Perhaps,” said Harley, “we now-a-days discourage the romantic turn a little too much. Our boys are prudent too soon. Mistake me not, I do not mean to blame them for want of levity or dissipation; but their pleasures are those of hackneyed vice, blunted to every finer emotion by the repetition of debauch; and their desire of pleasure is warped to the desire of wealth, as the means of procuring p. 121it. The immense riches acquired by individuals have erected a standard of ambition, destructive of private morals, and of public virtue. The weaknesses of vice are left us; but the most allowable of our failings we are taught to despise. Love, the passion most natural to the sensibility of youth, has lost the plaintive dignity he once possessed, for the unmeaning simper of a dangling coxcomb; and the only serious concern, that of a dowry, is settled, even amongst the beardless leaders of the dancing-school. The Frivolous and the Interested (might a satirist say) are the characteristical features of the age; they are visible even in the essays of our philosophers. They laugh at the pedantry of our fathers, who complained of the times in which they lived; they are at pains to persuade us how much those were deceived; they pride themselves in defending things as they find them, and in exploding the barren sounds which had been reared into motives for action. To this their style is suited; and the manly tone of reason is exchanged for perpetual efforts at sneer and ridicule. This I hold to be an alarming crisis in the corruption of a state; when not only is virtue declined, and vice prevailing, but when the praises p. 122of virtue are forgotten, and the infamy of vice unfelt.”
“Maybe,” said Harley, “these days we discourage romance a bit too much. Our boys are being too cautious too early. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming them for a lack of fun or reckless behavior; their pleasures are those of tired old vices, dulled to every finer feeling by constant indulgence; and their desire for enjoyment has twisted into a desire for wealth, seen as the way to get it. The massive wealth amassed by individuals has set a standard for ambition that destroys personal morals and public virtue. We’re left with the weaknesses of vice, but we’re taught to look down on our most acceptable flaws. Love, the feeling that comes most naturally to young people, has lost the heartfelt dignity it once had, reduced to the meaningless grin of a silly show-off; and the only serious concern, that of a dowry, is already arranged, even among the younger students at the dance school. The Superficial and the Self-Interested (as a satirist might say) are the defining traits of our time; they’re even evident in the writings of our philosophers. They mock the pretentiousness of our forebears, who complained about their own times; they go out of their way to convince us how mistaken those people were; they take pride in defending things as they are and in dismissing the empty rhetoric that had once inspired action. Their writing reflects this; the strong tone of reason is replaced with constant attempts at sneering and ridicule. I believe this is a troubling time in a state's decline; when not only is virtue diminishing and vice thriving, but when the praises of virtue are forgotten, and the shame of vice goes unnoticed.”
They soon after arrived at the next inn upon the route of the stage-coach, when the stranger told Harley, that his brother’s house, to which he was returning, lay at no great distance, and he must therefore unwillingly bid him adieu.
They soon arrived at the next inn along the stagecoach route, where the stranger told Harley that his brother's house, to which he was returning, was not far away, so he must reluctantly say goodbye.
“I should like,” said Harley, taking his hand, “to have some word to remember so much seeming worth by: my name is Harley.”
“I would like,” said Harley, taking his hand, “to have some word to remember all this apparent value by: my name is Harley.”
“I shall remember it,” answered the old gentleman, “in my prayers; mine is Silton.”
“I'll remember it,” replied the old gentleman, “in my prayers; mine is Silton.”
And Silton indeed it was! Ben Silton himself! Once more, my honoured friend, farewell!—Born to be happy without the world, to that peaceful happiness which the world has not to bestow! Envy never scowled on thy life, nor hatred smiled on thy grave.
And it really was Silton! Ben Silton himself! Once again, my dear friend, goodbye! – Born to find happiness independent of the world, to that serene happiness which the world cannot provide! Envy never frowned upon your life, nor did hatred smile upon your grave.
p. 123CHAPTER XXXIV.
He runs into an old friend.
When the stage-coach arrived at the place of its destination, Harley began to consider how he should proceed the remaining part of his journey. He was very civilly accosted by the master of the inn, who offered to accommodate him either with a post-chaise or horses, to any distance he had a mind: but as he did things frequently in a way different from what other people call natural, he refused these offers, and set out immediately a-foot, having first put a spare shirt in his pocket, and given directions for the forwarding of his portmanteau. This was a method of travelling which he was accustomed to take: it saved the trouble of provision for any animal but himself, and left him at liberty to chose his quarters, either at an inn, or at the first cottage in which he saw a face he liked: nay, when he was not peculiarly attracted by the reasonable creation, he would sometimes consort with a species of inferior rank, and lay himself down to sleep by the side of a rock, or on p. 124the banks of a rivulet. He did few things without a motive, but his motives were rather eccentric: and the useful and expedient were terms which he held to be very indefinite, and which therefore he did not always apply to the sense in which they are commonly understood.
When the stagecoach arrived at its destination, Harley started to think about how he would continue the rest of his journey. He was greeted politely by the innkeeper, who offered him a carriage or horses to travel any distance he wanted. However, since he often did things in ways that others might consider unusual, he declined these offers and set off on foot, after putting a spare shirt in his pocket and arranging for his suitcase to be sent along. This was a way of traveling he was used to: it saved him from having to provide for any animal but himself and allowed him to choose his lodging, whether at an inn or the first cottage where he saw someone he liked. In fact, when he wasn’t particularly drawn to people, he would sometimes associate with a lower form of life and lie down to sleep by a rock or on p. 124the banks of a stream. He rarely did things without a reason, but his reasons were often quite odd; he viewed terms like useful and practical as very vague, and so he didn’t always interpret them in the way they were commonly understood.
The sun was now in his decline, and the evening remarkably serene, when he entered a hollow part of the road, which winded between the surrounding banks, and seamed the sward in different lines, as the choice of travellers had directed them to tread it. It seemed to be little frequented now, for some of those had partly recovered their former verdure. The scene was such as induced Harley to stand and enjoy it; when, turning round, his notice was attracted by an object, which the fixture of his eye on the spot he walked had before prevented him from observing.
The sun was starting to set, and the evening was incredibly calm when he walked into a hollow section of the road that twisted between the surrounding slopes, marking the grass with different paths as travelers had chosen to tread it. It appeared to be less traveled now, as some areas were beginning to regain their former greenery. The scene was so inviting that Harley decided to pause and take it all in; when he turned around, something caught his attention—an object he hadn’t noticed before because he was focused on where he was walking.
An old man, who from his dress seemed to have been a soldier, lay fast asleep on the ground; a knapsack rested on a stone at his right hand, while his staff and brass-hilted sword were crossed at his left.
An old man, who looked like a soldier from his clothes, was fast asleep on the ground; a knapsack rested on a stone at his right side, while his staff and brass-hilted sword were crossed at his left.
Harley looked on him with the most earnest attention. He was one of those figures which p. 125Salvator would have drawn; nor was the surrounding scenery unlike the wildness of that painter’s back-grounds. The banks on each side were covered with fantastic shrub-wood, and at a little distance, on the top of one of them, stood a finger-post, to mark the directions of two roads which diverged from the point where it was placed. A rock, with some dangling wild flowers, jutted out above where the soldier lay; on which grew the stump of a large tree, white with age, and a single twisted branch shaded his face as he slept. His face had the marks of manly comeliness impaired by time; his forehead was not altogether bald, but its hairs might have been numbered; while a few white locks behind crossed the brown of his neck with a contrast the most venerable to a mind like Harley’s. “Thou art old,” said he to himself; “but age has not brought thee rest for its infirmities; I fear those silver hairs have not found shelter from thy country, though that neck has been bronzed in its service.” The stranger waked. He looked at Harley with the appearance of some confusion: it was a pain the latter knew too well to think of causing in another; he turned and went on. The old man re-adjusted his knapsack, and followed p. 126in one of the tracks on the opposite side of the road.
Harley watched him with intense focus. He was one of those figures that p. 125Salvator would have painted; the surrounding scenery wasn’t much different from the wild backgrounds that artist used. The banks on either side were filled with strange shrubs, and a bit away, on top of one of them, stood a signpost pointing in the directions of two roads that branched out from that spot. A rock with some hanging wildflowers jutted out just above where the soldier lay, on which was the stump of a large tree, aged and white, while a single twisted branch shaded his face as he slept. His face had the signs of manly attractiveness worn down by time; his forehead wasn’t completely bald, but the hairs could almost be counted; a few white strands behind contrasted strikingly with the brown of his neck, creating a look that was deeply moving for someone like Harley. “You’re old,” he thought to himself; “but age hasn’t brought you peace from its struggles; I fear those silver hairs haven’t found refuge in your homeland, even though that neck has been bronzed from service.” The stranger woke up. He looked at Harley, appearing somewhat embarrassed: a feeling Harley recognized too well to want to bring upon someone else; he turned and continued on. The old man adjusted his knapsack and followed p. 126one of the paths on the other side of the road.
When Harley heard the tread of his feet behind him, he could not help stealing back a glance at his fellow-traveller. He seemed to bend under the weight of his knapsack; he halted on his walk, and one of his arms was supported by a sling, and lay motionless across his breast. He had that steady look of sorrow, which indicates that its owner has gazed upon his griefs till he has forgotten to lament them; yet not without those streaks of complacency which a good mind will sometimes throw into the countenance, through all the incumbent load of its depression.
When Harley heard the sound of footsteps behind him, he couldn't help but glance back at his fellow traveler. He seemed to be struggling under the weight of his backpack; he paused in his walk, and one of his arms was in a sling, resting motionless across his chest. He had that steady look of sorrow that suggests the person has stared at their grief for so long that they've forgotten to mourn it; yet there were still hints of contentment on his face that a good person sometimes shows, even amid the weight of their sadness.
He had now advanced nearer to Harley, and, with an uncertain sort of voice, begged to know what it was o’clock; “I fear,” said he, “sleep has beguiled me of my time, and I shall hardly have light enough left to carry me to the end of my journey.”
He had now moved closer to Harley and, with a hesitant voice, asked what time it was. “I’m afraid,” he said, “that sleep has made me lose track of time, and I probably won’t have enough light left to finish my journey.”
“Father!” said Harley (who by this time found the romantic enthusiasm rising within him) “how far do you mean to go?”
“Dad!” said Harley (who by this time felt the romantic excitement building up inside him) “how far do you plan to go?”
“I am going there too,” said Harley; “we may make the road shorter to each other. You seem to have served your country, sir, to have served it hardly too; ’tis a character I have the highest esteem for.—I would not be impertinently inquisitive; but there is that in your appearance which excites my curiosity to know something more of you; in the meantime, suffer me to carry that knapsack.”
“I’m going there too,” said Harley. “We can make the journey easier for each other. You seem to have really served your country, sir, and it looks like you did it with great effort; that’s a quality I really admire. I don’t want to be disrespectfully curious, but something about your appearance makes me want to learn more about you. In the meantime, let me help carry that knapsack.”
The old man gazed on him; a tear stood in his eye! “Young gentleman,” said he, “you are too good; may Heaven bless you for an old man’s sake, who has nothing but his blessing to give! but my knapsack is so familiar to my shoulders, that I should walk the worse for wanting it; and it would be troublesome to you, who have not been used to its weight.”
The old man looked at him; a tear was in his eye! “Young man,” he said, “you’re too kind; may Heaven bless you for the sake of an old man, who has nothing to offer but his blessing! But my backpack is so familiar to me that I would struggle without it; and it would be a hassle for you, since you’re not used to carrying its weight.”
“Far from it,” answered Harley, “I should tread the lighter; it would be the most honourable badge I ever wore.”
“Not at all,” replied Harley, “I should wear the lighter; it would be the most honorable badge I ever had.”
“Sir,” said the stranger, who had looked earnestly in Harley’s face during the last part of his discourse, “is act your name Harley?”
“Sir,” said the stranger, who had been looking intently at Harley’s face during the last part of his speech, “is your name Harley?”
“You may well have forgotten my face,” said the stranger;—“’tis a long time since you saw it; but possibly you may remember something of old Edwards.”
"You might have forgotten what I look like," said the stranger; "it's been a while since you last saw me; but maybe you remember something about old Edwards."
“Edwards!” cried Harley, “oh! heavens!” and sprung to embrace him; “let me clasp those knees on which I have sat so often: Edwards!—I shall never forget that fire-side, round which I have been so happy! But where, where have you been? where is Jack? where is your daughter? How has it fared with them, when fortune, I fear, has been so unkind to you?”
“Edwards!” shouted Harley, “oh my gosh!” and rushed to hug him; “let me hold those knees I’ve sat on so many times: Edwards! I’ll never forget that fireside where I’ve been so happy! But where have you been? Where’s Jack? Where’s your daughter? How have they been doing when luck, I’m afraid, hasn’t been on your side?”
“’Tis a long tale,” replied Edwards; “but I will try to tell it you as we walk.
“It's a long story,” replied Edwards; “but I’ll do my best to tell it to you as we walk.
“When you were at school in the neighbourhood, you remember me at South-hill: that farm had been possessed by my father, grandfather, and great-grandfather, which last was a younger brother of that very man’s ancestor, who is now lord of the manor. I thought I managed it, as they had done, with prudence; I paid my rent regularly as it became due, and had always as much behind as gave bread to me and my children. But my p. 129last lease was out soon after you left that part of the country; and the squire, who had lately got a London-attorney for his steward, would not renew it, because, he said, he did not chuse to have any farm under £300 a year value on his estate; but offered to give me the preference on the same terms with another, if I chose to take the one he had marked out, of which mine was a part.
“When you were in school in the area, you remember me at South-hill: that farm had been owned by my father, grandfather, and great-grandfather, the last of whom was a younger brother of the very man’s ancestor who is now the lord of the manor. I thought I managed it like they did, with care; I paid my rent on time and always had enough left over to feed me and my kids. But my p. 129last lease expired shortly after you left that part of the country; and the squire, who recently hired a London lawyer as his steward, wouldn’t renew it because, he said, he didn’t want any farm under £300 a year on his estate; but he offered to give me priority on the same terms for another farm if I wanted to take the one he picked out, of which mine was a part."
“What could I do, Mr. Harley? I feared the undertaking was too great for me; yet to leave, at my age, the house I had lived in from my cradle! I could not, Mr. Harley, I could not; there was not a tree about it that I did not look on as my father, my brother, or my child: so I even ran the risk, and took the squire’s offer of the whole. But had soon reason to repent of my bargain; the steward had taken care that my former farm should be the best land of the division: I was obliged to hire more servants, and I could not have my eye over them all; some unfavourable seasons followed one another, and I found my affairs entangling on my hands. To add to my distress, a considerable corn-factor turned bankrupt with a sum of mine in his possession: I failed paying my rent so punctually p. 130as I was wont to do, and the same steward had my stock taken in execution in a few days after. So, Mr. Harley, there was an end of my prosperity. However, there was as much produced from the sale of my effects as paid my debts and saved me from a jail: I thank God I wronged no man, and the world could never charge me with dishonesty.
“What could I do, Mr. Harley? I was worried the task was too big for me, but leaving the house I’d lived in since I was born at my age? I just couldn’t do it, Mr. Harley; every tree around it felt like my father, my brother, or my child to me. So I decided to take the risk and accepted the squire’s offer for the whole thing. But I soon regretted my decision; the steward made sure my old farm was the best land of the lot. I had to hire more workers, and I couldn’t keep an eye on all of them. Then some bad seasons came one after the other, and my situation started to get complicated. To make things worse, a major corn dealer went bankrupt with a chunk of my money. I couldn’t pay my rent as promptly as I usually did, and that same steward had my livestock seized within days. So, Mr. Harley, that was the end of my prosperity. However, I managed to sell off enough of my belongings to pay off my debts and avoid jail. Thank God I never wronged anyone, and no one could ever accuse me of dishonesty.”
“Had you seen us, Mr. Harley, when we were turned out of South-hill, I am sure you would have wept at the sight. You remember old Trusty, my shag house-dog; I shall never forget it while I live; the poor creature was blind with age, and could scarce crawl after us to the door; he went however as far as the gooseberry-bush that you may remember stood on the left side of the yard; he was wont to bask in the sun there; when he had reached that spot, he stopped; we went on: I called to him; he wagged his tail, but did not stir: I called again; he lay down: I whistled, and cried Trusty; he gave a short howl, and died! I could have lain down and died too; but God gave me strength to live for my children.”
“Had you seen us, Mr. Harley, when we were kicked out of South-hill, I’m sure you would have cried at the sight. You remember old Trusty, my scruffy house dog; I will never forget it as long as I live. The poor thing was blind with age and could barely crawl after us to the door; he went as far as the gooseberry bush that you may remember was on the left side of the yard; he used to bask in the sun there. When he reached that spot, he stopped; we kept going: I called to him; he wagged his tail but didn’t move. I called again; he lay down: I whistled and shouted Trusty; he gave a short howl and died! I could have collapsed and died too, but God gave me the strength to live for my children.”
The old man now paused a moment to take breath. He eyed Harley’s face; it was bathed p. 131with tears: the story was grown familiar to himself; he dropped one tear, and no more.
The old man paused for a moment to catch his breath. He looked at Harley’s face; it was covered p. 131 with tears: the story had become familiar to him; he shed one tear, and that was it.
“Though I was poor,” continued he, “I was not altogether without credit. A gentleman in the neighbourhood, who had a small farm unoccupied at the time, offered to let me have it, on giving security for the rent; which I made shift to procure. It was a piece of ground which required management to make anything of; but it was nearly within the compass of my son’s labour and my own. We exerted all our industry to bring it into some heart. We began to succeed tolerably and lived contented on its produce, when an unlucky accident brought us under the displeasure of a neighbouring justice of the peace, and broke all our family-happiness again.
“Even though I was poor,” he continued, “I wasn’t completely without some credit. A gentleman in the area, who had a small farm available at the time, offered to let me rent it if I could secure the payment; which I managed to arrange. It was a piece of land that needed careful management to yield anything, but it was almost within the reach of my son’s labor and mine. We put in all our effort to make it work. We started to do pretty well and lived happily off its produce, when an unfortunate event put us in the bad graces of a nearby justice of the peace and shattered our family happiness once again.”
“My son was a remarkable good shooter; he-had always kept a pointer on our former farm, and thought no harm in doing so now; when one day, having sprung a covey in our own ground, the dog, of his own accord, followed them into the justice’s. My son laid down his gun, and went after his dog to bring him back: the game-keeper, who had marked the birds, came up, and seeing the pointer, shot him just as my son approached. The creature p. 132fell; my son ran up to him: he died with a complaining sort of cry at his master’s feet. Jack could bear it no longer; but, flying at the game-keeper, wrenched his gun out of his hand, and with the butt end of it, felled him to the ground.
“My son was an amazing shot; he had always kept a pointer on our old farm and thought nothing of doing the same now. One day, after flushing a covey on our property, the dog, all on his own, followed them into the justice’s land. My son put down his gun and went after his dog to bring him back. The gamekeeper, who had noticed the birds, approached and shot the pointer just as my son got closer. The dog fell; my son hurried to him: he died with a plaintive cry at his master’s feet. Jack couldn’t take it anymore and, lunging at the gamekeeper, wrenched his gun from his hands and knocked him to the ground with the butt end of it.p. 132
“He had scarce got home, when a constable came with a warrant, and dragged him to prison; there he lay, for the justices would not take bail, till he was tried at the quarter-sessions for the assault and battery. His fine was hard upon us to pay: we contrived however to live the worse for it, and make up the loss by our frugality: but the justice was not content with that punishment, and soon after had an opportunity of punishing us indeed.
“He had barely gotten home when a police officer arrived with a warrant and dragged him off to jail; he stayed there because the judges wouldn't accept bail until he was tried at the quarterly sessions for the assault and battery. The fine was tough for us to manage; we figured out how to live with less and make up for the loss by being frugal. But the judge wasn't satisfied with that punishment, and soon after, he had a chance to really punish us."
“An officer with press-orders came down to our county, and having met with the justices, agreed that they should pitch on a certain number, who could most easily be spared from the county, of whom he would take care to clear it: my son’s name was in the justices’ list.
“An officer with orders from the press came to our county, and after meeting with the justices, they agreed on a specific number of people who could be spared from the county, and he would ensure they were taken care of: my son’s name was on the justices’ list."
“’Twas on a Christmas eve, and the birth-day too of my son’s little boy. The night was piercing cold, and it blew a storm, with showers of hail and snow. We had made up a cheering fire in an inner p. 133room; I sat before it in my wicker-chair; blessing providence, that had still left a shelter for me and my children. My son’s two little ones were holding their gambols around us; my heart warmed at the sight: I brought a bottle of my best ale, and all our misfortunes were forgotten.
“It was Christmas Eve, and also the birthday of my son’s little boy. The night was icy cold, and a storm blew with showers of hail and snow. We had built a cozy fire in an inner p. 133 room; I sat in my wicker chair in front of it, thankful for the shelter that still protected me and my children. My son’s two little ones were playing around us; my heart warmed at the sight. I brought out a bottle of my best ale, and all our troubles were forgotten.”
“It had long been our custom to play a game at blind man’s buff on that night, and it was not omitted now; so to it we fell, I, and my son, and his wife, the daughter of a neighbouring farmer, who happened to be with us at the time, the two children, and an old maid servant, who had lived with me from a child. The lot fell on my son to be blindfolded: we had continued some time in our game, when he groped his way into an outer room in pursuit of some of us, who, he imagined, had taken shelter there; we kept snug in our places, and enjoyed his mistake. He had not been long there, when he was suddenly seized from behind; ‘I shall have you now,’ said he, and turned about. ‘Shall you so, master?’ answered the ruffian, who had laid hold of him; ‘we shall make you play at another sort of game by and by.’”—At these words Harley started with a convulsive sort of motion, and grasping Edwards’s sword, drew it half out of p. 134the scabbard, with a look of the most frantic wildness. Edwards gently replaced it in its sheath, and went on with his relation.
“It had long been our tradition to play a game of blind man's buff on that night, and it wasn't skipped this time either; so we got to it: I, my son, his wife, the daughter of a neighboring farmer who happened to be with us, the two kids, and an old maid servant who had lived with me since I was a child. The luck fell on my son to be blindfolded: we had been playing for a while when he stumbled into an outer room, thinking some of us had hidden there; we stayed tucked away in our spots, enjoying his confusion. He hadn't been there long when he was suddenly grabbed from behind; ‘I’ve got you now,’ he said as he turned around. ‘Oh really, master?’ replied the villain who had seized him; ‘we’ll have you playing a different kind of game soon enough.’"—At these words, Harley jolted with a sudden movement, grabbing Edwards’s sword, pulling it halfway out of p. 134 the scabbard, with a look of sheer madness. Edwards calmly slid it back into its sheath and continued with his story.
“On hearing these words in a strange voice, we all rushed out to discover the cause; the room by this time was almost full of the gang. My daughter-in-law fainted at the sight; the maid and I ran to assist her, while my poor son remained motionless, gazing by turns on his children and their mother. We soon recovered her to life, and begged her to retire and wait the issue of the affair; but she flew to her husband, and clung round him in an agony of terror and grief.
“Upon hearing those words in a strange voice, we all rushed out to find out what was happening; the room was almost full of the gang by this point. My daughter-in-law fainted at the sight; the maid and I rushed to help her, while my poor son stood frozen, looking back and forth between his children and their mother. We quickly brought her back to her senses and urged her to step away and wait for the situation to unfold; but she ran to her husband and clung to him in a mix of terror and grief.”
“In the gang was one of a smoother aspect, whom, by his dress, we discovered to be a serjeant of foot: he came up to me, and told me, that my son had his choice of the sea or land service, whispering at the same time that, if he chose the land, he might get off, on procuring him another man, and paying a certain sum for his freedom. The money we could just muster up in the house, by the assistance of the maid, who produced, in a green bag, all the little savings of her service; but the man we could not expect to find. My daughter-in-law gazed upon her children with a look of the p. 135wildest despair: ‘My poor infants!’ said she, ‘your father is forced from you; who shall now labour for your bread? or must your mother beg for herself and you?’ I prayed her to be patient; but comfort I had none to give her. At last, calling the serjeant aside, I asked him, ‘If I was too old to be accepted in place of my son?’
“In the gang was a guy with a smoother look, who, based on his uniform, we figured out was a sergeant of foot: he came up to me and told me that my son could choose between the sea or land service, quietly adding that if he picked the land, he could get out of it by finding someone else to take his place and paying a certain amount for his freedom. The money we could barely gather in the house, thanks to the maid, who brought out in a green bag all her little savings from her work; but we couldn't hope to find another man. My daughter-in-law looked at her children with a face full of wild despair: ‘My poor babies!’ she said, ‘your father is being taken away from you; who will work to provide for you now? Or will your mother have to beg for herself and for you?’ I urged her to stay patient, but I had no comfort to offer her. Finally, I pulled the sergeant aside and asked him, ‘Am I too old to take my son’s place?’”
“‘Why, I don’t know,’ said he; ‘you are rather old to be sure, but yet the money may do much.’
“‘I’m not sure,’ he said; ‘you’re a bit old, but the money could still make a big difference.’”
“I put the money in his hand, and coming back to my children, ‘Jack,’ said I, ‘you are free; live to give your wife and these little ones bread; I will go, my child, in your stead; I have but little life to lose, and if I staid, I should add one to the wretches you left behind.’
“I put the money in his hand, and coming back to my children, ‘Jack,’ I said, ‘you’re free; live to provide for your wife and these little ones. I will go in your place; I have little life left to lose, and if I stayed, I would just add to the misery of those you left behind.’”
“‘No,’ replied my son, ‘I am not that coward you imagine me; heaven forbid that my father’s grey hairs should be so exposed, while I sat idle at home; I am young and able to endure much, and God will take care of you and my family.’
“‘No,’ my son replied, ‘I’m not the coward you think I am; God forbid my father’s grey hairs should be so vulnerable while I stay home doing nothing; I’m young and can handle a lot, and God will look after you and my family.’”
“‘Jack,’ said I, ‘I will put an end to this matter, you have never hitherto disobeyed me; I will not be contradicted in this; stay at home, I charge you, and, for my sake, be kind to my children.’
“‘Jack,’ I said, ‘I'm going to put an end to this. You've never disobeyed me before; I won't allow it this time. Stay home, I insist, and please be good to my kids for my sake.’”
p. 136“Our parting, Mr. Harley, I cannot describe to you; it was the first time we ever had parted: the very press-gang could scarce keep from tears; but the serjeant, who had seemed the softest before, was now the least moved of them all. He conducted me to a party of new-raised recruits, who lay at a village in the neighbourhood; and we soon after joined the regiment. I had not been long with it when we were ordered to the East Indies, where I was soon made a serjeant, and might have picked up some money, if my heart had been as hard as some others were; but my nature was never of that kind, that could think of getting rich at the expense of my conscience.
p. 136“I can’t fully explain our goodbye, Mr. Harley; it was the first time we had ever separated. Even the press-gang had a hard time holding back their tears; yet the sergeant, who had seemed the softest of them all, was the least affected. He took me to a group of newly recruited soldiers who were stationed at a nearby village, and we soon joined the regiment. I hadn’t been with them long when we were ordered to the East Indies, where I quickly got promoted to sergeant. I could have made some money, just like some others did, but I’ve never been the kind of person who could think of getting rich at the cost of my conscience.”
“Amongst our prisoners was an old Indian, whom some of our officers supposed to have a treasure hidden somewhere; which is no uncommon practice in that country. They pressed him to discover it. He declared he had none, but that would not satisfy them, so they ordered him to be tied to a stake, and suffer fifty lashes every morning till he should learn to speak out, as they said. Oh! Mr. Harley, had you seen him, as I did, with his hands bound behind him, suffering in silence, while the big drops trickled down his p. 137shrivelled cheeks and wet his grey beard, which some of the inhuman soldiers plucked in scorn! I could not bear it, I could not for my soul, and one morning, when the rest of the guard were out of the way, I found means to let him escape. I was tried by a court-martial for negligence of my post, and ordered, in compassion of my age, and having got this wound in my arm and that in my leg in the service, only to suffer three hundred lashes and be turned out of the regiment; but my sentence was mitigated as to the lashes, and I had only two hundred. When I had suffered these I was turned out of the camp, and had betwixt three and four hundred miles to travel before I could reach a sea-port, without guide to conduct me, or money to buy me provisions by the way. I set out, however, resolved to walk as far as I could, and then to lay myself down and die. But I had scarce gone a mile when I was met by the Indian whom I had delivered. He pressed me in his arms, and kissed the marks of the lashes on my back a thousand times; he led me to a little hut, where some friend of his dwelt, and after I was recovered of my wounds conducted me so far on my journey himself, and sent another Indian to p. 138guide me through the rest. When we parted he pulled out a purse with two hundred pieces of gold in it. ‘Take this,’ said he, ‘my dear preserver, it is all I have been able to procure.’
“Among our prisoners was an old Indian whom some of our officers thought had hidden treasure, which isn’t uncommon in that area. They pressured him to reveal it. He insisted he had none, but that didn’t satisfy them, so they ordered him to be tied to a stake and whipped with fifty lashes every morning until he would confess, as they put it. Oh! Mr. Harley, if you had seen him, as I did, with his hands bound behind him, suffering in silence, while the big tears dripped down his shriveled cheeks and soaked his gray beard, which some of the brutal soldiers pulled at in scorn! I couldn’t stand it, not for a moment, and one morning, when the rest of the guard were out of sight, I found a way to let him escape. I was put on trial by a court-martial for neglecting my post, and considering my age and the wounds I received in the service, I was only sentenced to three hundred lashes and kicked out of the regiment; but my punishment was reduced, and I ended up with only two hundred. Once I had endured those, I was thrown out of the camp, with three to four hundred miles to travel before I could reach a seaport, with no guide to help me and no money for food along the way. I set out, determined to walk as far as I could, then lie down and die. But I had hardly gone a mile when I ran into the Indian I had rescued. He hugged me and kissed the marks of the lashes on my back a thousand times; he took me to a small hut where a friend of his lived, and after I healed from my wounds, he personally escorted me part of the way on my journey and sent another Indian to guide me for the rest. When we parted, he pulled out a purse with two hundred gold coins in it. ‘Take this,’ he said, ‘my dear savior, it’s all I could manage to get.’”
“I begged him not to bring himself to poverty for my sake, who should probably have no need of it long, but he insisted on my accepting it. He embraced me. ‘You are an Englishman,’ said he, ‘but the Great Spirit has given you an Indian heart, may He bear up the weight of your old age, and blunt the arrow that brings it rest!’
“I begged him not to put himself in debt for my sake, who probably wouldn’t need it for long, but he insisted that I take it. He hugged me. ‘You are an Englishman,’ he said, ‘but the Great Spirit has given you an Indian heart; may He support you through your old age and dull the pain that comes with it!’”
“We parted, and not long after I made shift to get my passage to England. ’Tis but about a week since I landed, and I am going to end my days in the arms of my son. This sum may be of use to him and his children, ’tis all the value I put upon it. I thank Heaven I never was covetous of wealth; I never had much, but was always so happy as to be content with my little.”
“We said our goodbyes, and shortly after, I managed to arrange my trip to England. It’s only been about a week since I arrived, and I plan to spend my remaining days with my son. This amount may be helpful for him and his children; that’s all the value I place on it. I thank Heaven I was never greedy for money; I may not have had much, but I was always happy to be content with what little I had.”
When Edwards had ended his relation, Harley stood a while looking at him in silence; at last he pressed him in his arms, and when he had given vent to the fulness of his heart by a shower of tears, “Edwards,” said he, “let me hold thee to my bosom, let me imprint the virtue of thy sufferings p. 139on my soul. Come, my honoured veteran! let me endeavour to soften the last days of a life, worn out in the service of humanity; call me also thy son, and let me cherish thee as a father.”’
When Edwards finished sharing his story, Harley stood quietly for a moment, just looking at him. Finally, he pulled him into a tight embrace, and after releasing his pent-up emotions with a flood of tears, he said, “Edwards, let me hold you close; let me take the strength of your struggles and hold it in my heart. Come, my respected veteran! Let me try to make your remaining days easier after a life dedicated to helping others; call me your son, and let me take care of you as if you were my father.” p. 139
Edwards, from whom the recollection of his own suffering had scarced forced a tear, now blubbered like a boy; he could not speak his gratitude, but by some short exclamations of blessings upon Harley.
Edwards, who had barely shed a tear remembering his own pain, now cried like a child; he couldn’t express his gratitude except through a few quick exclamations of blessings for Harley.
CHAPTER XXXV.
HE MISSES AN OLD FRIEND.—AN ADVENTURE THAT FOLLOWS.
When they had arrived within a little way of the village they journeyed to, Harley stopped short, and looked steadfastly on the mouldering walls of a ruined house that stood on the road side. “Oh, heavens!” he cried, “what do I see: silent, unroofed, and desolate! Are all thy gay tenants gone? do I hear their hum no more Edwards, look there, look there? the scene of my infant joys, my earliest friendships, laid waste and ruinous! p. 140That was the very school where I was boarded when you were at South-hill; ’tis but a twelve-month since I saw it standing, and its benches filled with cherubs: that opposite side of the road was the green on which they sported; see it now ploughed up! I would have given fifty times its value to have saved it from the sacrilege of that plough.”
When they had reached a short distance from the village they were heading to, Harley suddenly stopped and stared intently at the crumbling walls of a ruined house that stood by the roadside. “Oh, my goodness!” he exclaimed, “what do I see: silent, roofless, and abandoned! Have all your cheerful residents disappeared? Can I no longer hear their chatter? Edwards, look there, look over there! The place of my childhood joys and my earliest friendships is now in ruins! p. 140 That was the very school where I stayed while you were at South-hill; it was only a year ago that I saw it standing, with its benches filled with kids: that side of the road was the green where they played; look at it now, all plowed up! I would have given fifty times its worth to have saved it from the desecration of that plow.”
“Dear sir,” replied Edwards, “perhaps they have left it from choice, and may have got another spot as good.”
“Dear sir,” replied Edwards, “maybe they left it on purpose and found another place just as good.”
“They cannot,” said Harley, “they cannot; I shall never see the sward covered with its daisies, nor pressed by the dance of the dear innocents: I shall never see that stump decked with the garlands which their little hands had gathered. These two long stones, which now lie at the foot of it, were once the supports of a hut I myself assisted to rear: I have sat on the sods within it, when we had spread our banquet of apples before us, and been more blessed—Oh! Edwards, infinitely more blessed, than ever I shall be again.”
“They can't,” said Harley, “they can't; I'll never see the grass covered with daisies again, or the sweet innocence dancing on it: I'll never see that stump adorned with the garlands their little hands gathered. These two long stones lying at its base used to support a hut I helped build: I’ve sat on the ground inside it, where we laid out our feast of apples, and I was so much happier—Oh! Edwards, so much happier, than I will ever be again.”
Just then a woman passed them on the road, and discovered some signs of wonder at the attitude of Harley, who stood, with his hands p. 141folded together, looking with a moistened eye on the fallen pillars of the hut. He was too much entranced in thought to observe her at all, but Edwards, civilly accosting her, desired to know if that had not been the school-house, and how it came into the condition in which they now saw it.
Just then, a woman walked by them on the road and noticed something surprising about Harley, who stood there with his hands folded together, gazing with watery eyes at the collapsed pillars of the hut. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice her at all, but Edwards politely approached her and asked if that hadn’t been the schoolhouse and how it ended up in the state they now saw it.
“Alack a day!” said she, “it was the school-house indeed; but to be sure, sir, the squire has pulled it down because it stood in the way of his prospects.”
“Alas!” she said, “it was definitely the schoolhouse; but of course, sir, the squire had it torn down because it was in the way of his plans.”
“What! how! prospects! pulled down!” cried Harley.
“What! How! The prospects are ruined!” cried Harley.
“Yes, to be sure, sir; and the green, where the children used to play, he has ploughed up, because, he said, they hurt his fence on the other side of it.”
“Yes, for sure, sir; and the green area where the kids used to play, he has plowed over, because he said they were damaging his fence on the other side.”
“Curses on his narrow heart,” cried Harley, “that could violate a right so sacred! Heaven blast the wretch!
“Curses on his narrow heart,” cried Harley, “for violating a right so sacred! May heaven blast the wretch!
“And from his derogate body never spring
A babe to honour him!”—"And from his disrespected body will never come
A child to bring him honor!”—
But I need not, Edwards, I need not” (recovering himself a little), “he is cursed enough already: to him the noblest source of happiness is denied, and the cares of his sordid soul shall gnaw it, while p. 142thou sittest over a brown crust, smiling on those mangled limbs that have saved thy son and his children!”
But I don't have to, Edwards, I don't have to” (regaining his composure a bit), “he's already cursed enough: the highest source of happiness is taken from him, and the worries of his miserable soul will eat away at him, while p. 142you sit over a brown piece of bread, smiling at those broken limbs that have saved your son and his children!”
“If you want anything with the school-mistress, sir,” said the woman, “I can show you the way to her house.”
“If you need anything from the school-mistress, sir,” the woman said, “I can guide you to her house.”
He followed her without knowing whither he went.
He followed her without knowing where he was going.
They stopped at the door of a snug habitation, where sat an elderly woman with a boy and a girl before her, each of whom held a supper of bread and milk in their hands.
They stopped at the door of a cozy house, where an elderly woman sat with a boy and a girl in front of her, each holding a supper of bread and milk in their hands.
“There, sir, is the school-mistress.”
"There's the teacher, sir."
“Madam,” said Harley, “was not an old venerable man school-master here some time ago?”
“Ma'am,” said Harley, “wasn't there an old, respected school teacher here a while back?”
“Yes, sir, he was, poor man; the loss of his former school-house, I believe, broke his heart, for he died soon after it was taken down, and as another has not yet been found, I have that charge in the meantime.”
“Yes, sir, he was, poor guy; I think losing his old schoolhouse really crushed him because he passed away not long after it was demolished, and since another hasn’t been found yet, I’m taking care of that for now.”
“And this boy and girl, I presume, are your pupils?”
“And I assume this boy and girl are your students?”
“Ay, sir; they are poor orphans, put under my care by the parish, and more promising children I never saw.”
“Aye, sir; they are poor orphans who were placed under my care by the parish, and I’ve never seen more promising children.”
“Yes, sir, of honest creditable parents as any in the parish, and it is a shame for some folks to forget their relations at a time when they have most need to remember them.”
“Yes, sir, from honest, respectable parents just like any in the parish, and it’s shameful for some people to overlook their family when they need to remember them the most.”
“Madam,” said Harley, “let us never forget that we are all relations.”
“Ma'am,” said Harley, “let's never forget that we are all connected.”
He kissed the children.
He kissed the kids.
“Their father, sir,” continued she, “was a farmer here in the neighbourhood, and a sober industrious man he was; but nobody can help misfortunes: what with bad crops, and bad debts, which are worse, his affairs went to wreck, and both he and his wife died of broken hearts. And a sweet couple they were, sir; there was not a properer man to look on in the county than John Edwards, and so indeed were all the Edwardses.”
“Their father, sir,” she continued, “was a farmer in this area, and he was a hardworking and responsible man; but no one can escape misfortune. With poor harvests and worse debts, his situation fell apart, and both he and his wife died from heartbreak. They were a lovely couple, sir; there wasn’t a more respectable man to be seen in the county than John Edwards, and that goes for all the Edwards family.”
“What Edwardses?” cried the old soldier hastily.
“What Edwardses?” exclaimed the old soldier quickly.
“The Edwardses of South-hill, and a worthy family they were.”
“The Edwardses of South Hill were a respectable family.”
“South-hill!” said he, in a languid voice, and fell back into the arms of the astonished Harley. The school-mistress ran for some water—and a smelling-bottle, with the assistance of which they p. 144soon recovered the unfortunate Edwards. He stared wildly for some time, then folding his orphan grandchildren in his arms,
“Oh! my children, my children,” he cried, “have I found you thus? My poor Jack, art thou gone? I thought thou shouldst have carried thy father’s grey hairs to the grave! and these little ones”—his tears choked his utterance, and he fell again on the necks of the children.
“Oh! my children, my children,” he cried, “have I found you like this? My poor Jack, are you gone? I thought you would carry your father’s gray hairs to the grave! And these little ones—” his tears choked his words, and he fell once more into the arms of the children.
“My dear old man,” said Harley, “Providence has sent you to relieve them; it will bless me if I can be the means of assisting you.”
“My dear old man,” said Harley, “Fate has sent you to help them; it would be a blessing for me if I could assist you.”
“Yes, indeed, sir,” answered the boy; “father, when he was a-dying, bade God bless us, and prayed that if grandfather lived he might send him to support us.”
“Yes, of course, sir,” the boy replied; “my father, when he was dying, asked God to bless us and prayed that if my grandfather was still alive, he would send him to help us.”
“Where did they lay my boy?” said Edwards.
“Where did they put my son?” said Edwards.
“In the Old Churchyard,” replied the woman, “hard by his mother.”
“In the Old Churchyard,” the woman replied, “right next to his mother.”
“I will show it you,” answered the boy, “for I have wept over it many a time when first I came amongst strange folks.”
“I’ll show it to you,” the boy replied, “because I’ve cried over it many times since I first arrived among strangers.”
He took the old man’s hand, Harley laid hold of his sister’s, and they walked in silence to the churchyard.
He took the old man’s hand, Harley grabbed his sister’s, and they walked quietly to the churchyard.
“Here it is, grandfather,” said the boy.
“Here it is, Grandpa,” said the boy.
Edwards gazed upon it without uttering a word: the girl, who had only sighed before, now wept outright; her brother sobbed, but he stifled his sobbing.
Edwards looked at it in silence: the girl, who had only sighed before, was now crying openly; her brother was sobbing, but he tried to hold it back.
“I have told sister,” said he, “that she should not take it so to heart; she can knit already, and I shall soon be able to dig, we shall not starve, sister, indeed we shall not, nor shall grandfather neither.”
"I've told my sister," he said, "that she shouldn't take it so hard; she can already knit, and I'll soon be able to dig. We're not going to starve, sister, really we won't, and neither will grandfather."
The girl cried afresh; Harley kissed off her tears as they flowed, and wept between every kiss.
The girl cried again; Harley wiped her tears away as they fell, and cried between each kiss.
p. 146CHAPTER XXXVI.
HE RETURNS HOME.—A DESCRIPTION OF HIS FOLLOWERS.
It was with some difficulty that Harley prevailed on the old man to leave the spot where the remains of his son were laid. At last, with the assistance of the school-mistress, he prevailed; and she accommodated Edwards and him with beds in her house, there being nothing like an inn nearer than the distance of some miles.
It was a bit challenging for Harley to convince the old man to leave the place where his son was buried. Eventually, with the help of the school-mistress, he succeeded; and she provided beds for Edwards and him in her home, as there wasn't an inn anywhere nearby for several miles.
In the morning Harley persuaded Edwards to come with the children to his house, which was distant but a short day’s journey. The boy walked in his grandfather’s hand; and the name of Edwards procured him a neighbouring farmer’s horse, on which a servant mounted, with the girl on a pillow before him.
In the morning, Harley convinced Edwards to bring the kids to his house, which was far but only a short day's trip. The boy walked hand in hand with his grandfather, and because of Edwards’ name, a neighboring farmer lent them a horse, with a servant riding it and the girl sitting on a pillow in front of him.
With this train Harley returned to the abode of his fathers: and we cannot but think, that his enjoyment was as great as if he had arrived from the tour of Europe with a Swiss valet for his companion, and half a dozen snuff-boxes, with invisible p. 147hinges, in his pocket. But we take our ideas from sounds which folly has invented; Fashion, Bon ton, and Vertù, are the names of certain idols, to which we sacrifice the genuine pleasures of the soul: in this world of semblance, we are contented with personating happiness; to feel it is an art beyond us.
With this train, Harley returned to his family's home: and we can't help but think that his enjoyment was just as great as if he had come back from a European tour with a Swiss valet by his side and half a dozen snuff boxes with invisible p. 147 hinges in his pocket. But we get our ideas from sounds that foolishness has created; Fashion, Bon ton, and Vertù are the names of certain idols to which we sacrifice the true pleasures of the soul: in this world of appearances, we are satisfied with pretending to be happy; actually feeling it is an art that eludes us.
It was otherwise with Harley; he ran upstairs to his aunt with the history of his fellow-travellers glowing on his lips. His aunt was an economist; but she knew the pleasure of doing charitable things, and withal was fond of her nephew, and solicitous to oblige him. She received old Edwards therefore with a look of more complacency than is perhaps natural to maiden ladies of three-score, and was remarkably attentive to his grandchildren: she roasted apples with her own hands for their supper, and made up a little bed beside her own for the girl. Edwards made some attempts towards an acknowledgment for these favours; but his young friend stopped them in their beginnings.
It was different for Harley; he ran upstairs to his aunt, excited to share the stories of his fellow travelers. His aunt was an economist, but she appreciated the joy of doing charitable things and loved her nephew, wanting to help him. So, she welcomed old Edwards with a warmth that’s not usually seen in single ladies in their sixties and was especially kind to his grandchildren: she baked apples herself for their dinner and set up a little bed next to her own for the girl. Edwards tried to express his gratitude for these kindnesses, but his young friend cut him off before he could finish.
“Whosoever receiveth any of these children,” said his aunt; for her acquaintance with her Bible was habitual.
“Whoever welcomes any of these children,” said his aunt; her familiarity with the Bible was routine.
p. 148Early next morning Harley stole into the room where Edwards lay: he expected to have found him a-bed, but in this he was mistaken: the old man had risen, and was leaning over his sleeping grandson, with the tears flowing down his cheeks. At first he did not perceive Harley; when he did, he endeavoured to hide his grief, and crossing his eyes with his hand expressed his surprise at seeing him so early astir.
p. 148Early the next morning, Harley quietly entered the room where Edwards lay. He thought he would find him still in bed, but he was wrong: the old man had gotten up and was leaning over his sleeping grandson, tears streaming down his face. At first, he didn’t notice Harley; when he did, he tried to hide his sorrow, and shielding his eyes with his hand, showed his surprise at seeing him up so early.
“I was thinking of you,” said Harley, “and your children: I learned last night that a small farm of mine in the neighbourhood is now vacant: if you will occupy it I shall gain a good neighbour and be able in some measure to repay the notice you took of me when a boy, and as the furniture of the house is mine, it will be so much trouble saved.”
“I was thinking about you,” said Harley, “and your kids. I found out last night that a small farm of mine nearby is now empty. If you want to move in, I’ll get a great neighbor and can somewhat repay the kindness you showed me when I was a kid. Plus, since the furniture in the house is mine, it’ll save us both a lot of hassle.”
Edwards’s tears gushed afresh, and Harley led him to see the place he intended for him.
Edwards's tears flowed again, and Harley took him to the spot he had chosen for him.
The house upon this farm was indeed little better than a hut; its situation, however, was pleasant, and Edwards, assisted by the beneficence of Harley, set about improving its neatness and convenience. He staked out a piece of the green before for a garden, and Peter, who acted in Harley’s p. 149family as valet, butler, and gardener, had orders to furnish him with parcels of the different seeds he chose to sow in it. I have seen his master at work in this little spot with his coat off, and his dibble in his hand: it was a scene of tranquil virtue to have stopped an angel on his errands of mercy! Harley had contrived to lead a little bubbling brook through a green walk in the middle of the ground, upon which he had erected a mill in miniature for the diversion of Edwards’s infant grandson, and made shift in its construction to introduce a pliant bit of wood that answered with its fairy clack to the murmuring of the rill that turned it. I have seen him stand, listening to these mingled sounds, with his eye fixed on the boy, and the smile of conscious satisfaction on his cheek, while the old man, with a look half turned to Harley and half to heaven, breathed an ejaculation of gratitude and piety.
The house on this farm was really no better than a shack; however, its location was nice, and Edwards, with help from Harley's generosity, got to work making it tidier and more functional. He marked out a piece of the lawn for a garden, and Peter, who served in Harley’s family as a valet, butler, and gardener, was instructed to supply him with packets of the various seeds he wanted to plant. I’ve seen his master working in that little patch with his coat off and his dibble in hand: it was such a peaceful and virtuous scene that it could have paused an angel on its mission of mercy! Harley had managed to direct a small bubbling brook through a green path in the center of the garden, where he built a miniature mill for the entertainment of Edwards’s young grandson, cleverly incorporating a flexible piece of wood that responded with a delightful sound to the murmuring water that powered it. I’ve watched him stand there, listening to those blended sounds, his gaze fixed on the boy, and a smile of pure satisfaction on his face, while the old man, glancing half at Harley and half at the sky, uttered a prayer of thanks and devotion.
Father of mercies! I also would thank thee that not only hast thou assigned eternal rewards to virtue, but that, even in this bad world, the lines of our duty and our happiness are so frequently woven together.
Father of mercy! I also want to thank you that not only have you promised eternal rewards for virtue, but that, even in this troubled world, the paths of our duty and our happiness are often intertwined.
p. 150A
FRAGMENT.
THE SENSITIVE PERSON DISCUSSES WHAT HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.—AN INCIDENT.
* * * * “Edwards,” said he, “I have a proper regard for the prosperity of my country: every native of it appropriates to himself some share of the power, or the fame, which, as a nation, it acquires, but I cannot throw off the man so much as to rejoice at our conquests in India. You tell me of immense territories subject to the English: I cannot think of their possessions without being led to inquire by what right they possess them. They came there as traders, bartering the commodities they brought for others which their purchasers could spare; and however great their profits were, they were then equitable. But what title have the subjects of another kingdom to establish an empire in India? to give laws to a country where the inhabitants received them on the terms of friendly commerce? You say they are happier under our regulations than the tyranny p. 151of their own petty princes. I must doubt it, from the conduct of those by whom these regulations have been made. They have drained the treasuries of Nabobs, who must fill them by oppressing the industry of their subjects. Nor is this to be wondered at, when we consider the motive upon which those gentlemen do not deny their going to India. The fame of conquest, barbarous as that motive is, is but a secondary consideration: there are certain stations in wealth to which the warriors of the East aspire. It is there, indeed, where the wishes of their friends assign them eminence, where the question of their country is pointed at their return. When shall I see a commander return from India in the pride of honourable poverty? You describe the victories they have gained; they are sullied by the cause in which they fought: you enumerate the spoils of those victories; they are covered with the blood of the vanquished.
* * * * “Edwards,” he said, “I genuinely care about the well-being of my country: every native feels a sense of ownership over some part of the power or the reputation that we collectively gain as a nation, but I can’t just ignore my conscience and celebrate our victories in India. You mention vast territories under British control: I can’t think about these lands without questioning the basis of their claim to them. They arrived as merchants, trading the goods they brought for those their customers had to offer; and no matter how substantial their profits were, that trade was fair. But what right do subjects from another kingdom have to build an empire in India and impose laws on a land where the people accepted them based on friendly trade? You argue they are better off under our administration than under the tyranny of their own minor rulers. I have my doubts about that, considering the actions of those who created these regulations. They have drained the wealth of the Nabobs, who must replenish it by exploiting their own people. And it’s not surprising when we think about the motives that these gentlemen openly admit for going to India. The glory of conquest, as barbaric as that is, is only a secondary motive: there are certain levels of wealth that Eastern warriors aim for. It’s there that the aspirations of their allies elevate them, where their return is met with questions about their country’s interests. When will I see a commander come back from India proud of having nothing but honorable intentions? You talk about their victories; they are tainted by the reasons they fought: you list the trophies of those victories; they are stained with the blood of the defeated.
“Could you tell me of some conqueror giving peace and happiness to the conquered? did he accept the gifts of their princes to use them for the comfort of those whose fathers, sons, or husbands, fell in battle? did he use his power to gain p. 152security and freedom to the regions of oppression and slavery? did he endear the British name by examples of generosity, which the most barbarous or most depraved are rarely able to resist? did he return with the consciousness of duty discharged to his country, and humanity to his fellow-creatures? did he return with no lace on his coat, no slaves in his retinue, no chariot at his door, and no burgundy at his table?—these were laurels which princes might envy—which an honest man would not condemn!”
“Can you tell me about any conqueror who brought peace and happiness to those he defeated? Did he accept gifts from their leaders to help those whose fathers, sons, or husbands died in battle? Did he use his power to achieve security and freedom for areas suffering under oppression and slavery? Did he make the British name beloved through acts of kindness that even the most savage or depraved find hard to resist? Did he come back knowing he fulfilled his duty to his country and to humanity? Did he return without fancy clothes, no slaves in his entourage, no chariot at his entrance, and no expensive wine on his table?—these would be the honors that princes might envy—honors that an honest person would not criticize!”
“Your maxims, Mr. Harley, are certainly right,” said Edwards. “I am not capable of arguing with you; but I imagine there are great temptations in a great degree of riches, which it is no easy matter to resist: those a poor man like me cannot describe, because he never knew them; and perhaps I have reason to bless God that I never did; for then, it is likely, I should have withstood them no better than my neighbours. For you know, sir, that it is not the fashion now, as it was in former times, that I have read of in books, when your great generals died so poor, that they did not leave wherewithal to buy them a coffin; and people thought the better of their p. 153memories for it: if they did so now-a-days, I question if any body, except yourself, and some few like you, would thank them.”
“Your principles, Mr. Harley, are definitely correct,” said Edwards. “I can’t argue with you on that; but I think there are huge temptations that come with being very wealthy, which are not easy to resist. A poor person like me can’t really describe them because I’ve never experienced them, and maybe I should be grateful to God that I haven’t; because if I had, I likely wouldn’t have resisted them any better than my neighbors. You see, sir, it’s different now compared to the past, as I’ve read in books, when great generals died so poor that they couldn’t even afford a coffin, and people admired their memories for it. If things were like that today, I doubt anyone, except you and a few others like you, would appreciate them.”
“I am sorry,” replied Harley, “that there is so much truth in what you say; but however the general current of opinion may point, the feelings are not yet lost that applaud benevolence, and censure inhumanity. Let us endeavour to strengthen them in ourselves; and we, who live sequestered from the noise of the multitude, have better opportunities of listening undisturbed to their voice.”
“I’m sorry,” replied Harley, “that there’s so much truth in what you’re saying; but no matter what the general opinion might be, the feelings that appreciate kindness and criticize cruelty are not gone yet. Let’s try to strengthen them within ourselves. We, who live away from the noise of the crowd, have a better chance to listen to their voice in peace.”
They now approached the little dwelling of Edwards. A maid-servant, whom he had hired to assist him in the care of his grandchildren met them a little way from the house: “There is a young lady within with the children,” said she. Edwards expressed his surprise at the visit: it was however not the less true; and we mean to account for it.
They now approached Edwards' small house. A maid he had hired to help take care of his grandchildren met them a short distance from the home. “There’s a young woman inside with the kids,” she said. Edwards expressed his surprise at the visit; nonetheless, it was true, and we intend to explain it.
This young lady then was no other than Miss Walton. She had heard the old man’s history from Harley, as we have already related it. Curiosity, or some other motive, made her desirous to see his grandchildren; this she had an opportunity p. 154of gratifying soon, the children, in some of their walks, having strolled as far as her father’s avenue. She put several questions to both; she was delighted with the simplicity of their answers, and promised, that if they continued to be good children, and do as their grandfather bid them, she would soon see them again, and bring some present or other for their reward. This promise she had performed now: she came attended only by her maid, and brought with her a complete suit of green for the boy, and a chintz gown, a cap, and a suit of ribbons, for his sister. She had time enough, with her maid’s assistance, to equip them in their new habiliments before Harley and Edwards returned. The boy heard his grandfather’s voice, and, with that silent joy which his present finery inspired, ran to the door to meet him: putting one hand in his, with the other pointed to his sister, “See,” said he, “what Miss Walton has brought us!”—Edwards gazed on them. Harley fixed his eyes on Miss Walton; her’s were turned to the ground;—in Edwards’s was a beamy moisture.—He folded his hands together—“I cannot speak, young lady,” said he, “to thank you.” Neither could Harley. p. 155There were a thousand sentiments; but they gushed so impetuously on his heart, that he could not utter a syllable. * * * *
This young lady was none other than Miss Walton. She had heard the old man's story from Harley, as we’ve already mentioned. Curiosity, or some other reason, made her eager to meet his grandchildren; she soon got the chance when the children walked down her father’s avenue. She asked them several questions and was delighted by their simple answers. She promised that if they continued to be good kids and listened to their grandfather, she would see them again soon and bring them a gift as a reward. She kept that promise now: she came with only her maid and brought a complete green outfit for the boy, as well as a chintz dress, a cap, and some ribbons for his sister. With her maid’s help, she had enough time to dress them in their new clothes before Harley and Edwards returned. The boy heard his grandfather’s voice and, filled with silent joy from his new outfit, ran to the door to greet him. Taking one of his grandfather’s hands, he pointed to his sister with the other. “Look,” he said, “what Miss Walton has brought us!” Edwards stared at them. Harley fixed his gaze on Miss Walton; her eyes were on the ground—Edwards’s eyes glistened with tears. He clasped his hands together. “I can’t express my thanks, young lady,” he said, “for what you’ve done.” Neither could Harley. There were a thousand emotions, but they rushed so strongly to his heart that he couldn't say a word. * * * *
CHAPTER XL.
THE JEALOUS SENSITIVE GUY.
The desire of communicating knowledge or intelligence, is an argument with those who hold that man is naturally a social animal. It is indeed one of the earliest propensities we discover; but it may be doubted whether the pleasure (for pleasure there certainly is) arising from it be not often more selfish than social: for we frequently observe the tidings of Ill communicated as eagerly as the annunciation of Good. Is it that we delight in observing the effects of the stronger passions? for we are all philosophers in this respect; and it is perhaps amongst the spectators at Tyburn that the most genuine are to be found.
The desire to share knowledge or information supports the idea that humans are naturally social beings. It’s actually one of the first instincts we notice; however, we can question whether the pleasure we derive from it—which undoubtedly exists—might often be more self-interested than communal. We frequently see news of bad events being shared just as eagerly as good news. Is it that we take pleasure in witnessing the effects of stronger emotions? In this regard, we all act like philosophers, and perhaps the most genuine observers are those at Tyburn.
Was it from this motive that Peter came one morning into his master’s room with a meaning face p. 156of recital? His master indeed did not at first observe it; for he was sitting with one shoe buckled, delineating portraits in the fire. “I have brushed those clothes, sir, as you ordered me.”—Harley nodded his head but Peter observed that his hat wanted brushing too: his master nodded again. At last Peter bethought him that the fire needed stirring; and taking up the poker, demolished the turban’d head of a Saracen, while his master was seeking out a body for it. “The morning is main cold, sir,” said Peter. “Is it?” said Harley. “Yes, sir; I have been as far as Tom Dowson’s to fetch some barberries he had picked for Mrs. Margery. There was a rare junketting last night at Thomas’s among Sir Harry Benson’s servants; he lay at Squire Walton’s, but he would not suffer his servants to trouble the family: so, to be sure, they were all at Tom’s, and had a fiddle, and a hot supper in the big room where the justices meet about the destroying of hares and partridges, and them things; and Tom’s eyes looked so red and so bleared when I called him to get the barberries:—And I hear as how Sir Harry is going to be married to Miss Walton.”—“How! Miss Walton married!” said Harley. “Why, it p. 157mayn’t be true, sir, for all that; but Tom’s wife told it me, and to be sure the servants told her, and their master told them, as I guess, sir; but it mayn’t be true for all that, as I said before.”—“Have done with your idle information,” said Harley:—“Is my aunt come down into the parlour to breakfast?”—“Yes, sir.”—“Tell her I’ll be with her immediately.”
Was it for this reason that Peter came one morning into his master’s room with a serious expression p. 156? His master didn’t notice at first because he was sitting with one shoe buckled, sketching portraits in the fire. “I’ve brushed those clothes, sir, like you asked.” Harley nodded, but Peter noticed that his hat needed brushing too: his master nodded again. Finally, Peter thought the fire needed stirring, and he picked up the poker, knocking over the turbaned head of a Saracen while his master searched for a body for it. “It's really cold this morning, sir,” said Peter. “Is it?” said Harley. “Yes, sir; I went all the way to Tom Dowson’s to get some barberries he picked for Mrs. Margery. There was quite a party last night at Thomas’s among Sir Harry Benson’s servants; he stayed at Squire Walton’s, but he wouldn’t let his servants bother the family: so, of course, they were all at Tom’s, with music and a hot supper in the big room where the justices meet to discuss hunting hares and partridges and those things; and Tom looked so red-eyed and bleary when I called him for the barberries:—And I heard that Sir Harry is going to marry Miss Walton.” —“What! Miss Walton marrying?” said Harley. “Well, it p. 157might not be true, sir, after all; but Tom’s wife told me, and I’m sure the servants told her, and their master told them, as I suspect, sir; but it mightn't be true for all that, as I said before.” —“Stop with your pointless chatter,” said Harley:—“Has my aunt come down to the parlor for breakfast?” —“Yes, sir.” —“Tell her I’ll be right there.”
When Peter was gone, he stood with his eyes fixed on the ground, and the last words of his intelligence vibrating in his ears. “Miss Walton married!” he sighed—and walked down stairs, with his shoe as it was, and the buckle in his hand. His aunt, however, was pretty well accustomed to those appearances of absence; besides, that the natural gravity of her temper, which was commonly called into exertion by the care of her household concerns, was such as not easily to be discomposed by any circumstance of accidental impropriety. She too had been informed of the intended match between Sir Harry Benson and Miss Walton. “I have been thinking,” said she, “that they are distant relations: for the great-grandfather of this Sir Harry Benson, who was knight of the shire in the reign of Charles the p. 158First, and one of the cavaliers of those times, was married to a daughter of the Walton family.” Harley answered drily, that it might be so; but that he never troubled himself about those matters. “Indeed,” said she, “you are to blame, nephew, for not knowing a little more of them: before I was near your age I had sewed the pedigree of our family in a set of chair-bottoms, that were made a present of to my grandmother, who was a very notable woman, and had a proper regard for gentility, I’ll assure you; but now-a-days it is money, not birth, that makes people respected; the more shame for the times.”
When Peter left, he stood with his eyes on the ground, the last words of his conversation ringing in his ears. “Miss Walton is married!” he sighed and walked downstairs, his shoe still as it was and the buckle in his hand. His aunt, however, was pretty used to these moments of distraction; her naturally serious demeanor was usually focused on managing her household, so she wasn’t easily thrown off by any small lapse in propriety. She too had heard about the planned engagement between Sir Harry Benson and Miss Walton. “I’ve been thinking,” she said, “that they’re distant relatives. The great-grandfather of this Sir Harry Benson, who was a knight of the shire during the reign of Charles the First and one of the cavaliers of that era, was married to a daughter of the Walton family.” Harley replied dryly that it might be true, but he didn’t concern himself with those details. “Honestly,” she said, “you should pay more attention to these things, nephew. By the time I was about your age, I had embroidered our family tree into a set of chair bottoms that were gifted to my grandmother, who was a remarkable woman and cared greatly about social status, I assure you. But nowadays it’s wealth, not lineage, that earns people respect; it’s a shame for these times.”
Harley was in no very good humour for entering into a discussion of this question; but he always entertained so much filial respect for his aunt, as to attend to her discourse.
Harley wasn't in a great mood to discuss this topic, but he always had a good amount of respect for his aunt, so he listened to what she had to say.
“We blame the pride of the rich,” said he, “but are not we ashamed of our poverty?”
“We criticize the pride of the wealthy,” he said, “but aren’t we ashamed of our own poverty?”
“Why, one would not choose,” replied his aunt, “to make a much worse figure than one’s neighbours; but, as I was saying before, the times (as my friend, Mrs. Dorothy Walton, observes) are shamefully degenerated in this respect. There was but t’other day at Mr. Walton’s, that fat fellow’s p. 159daughter, the London merchant, as he calls himself, though I have heard that he was little better than the keeper of a chandler’s shop. We were leaving the gentlemen to go to tea. She had a hoop, forsooth, as large and as stiff—and it showed a pair of bandy legs, as thick as two—I was nearer the door by an apron’s length, and the pert hussy brushed by me, as who should say, Make way for your betters, and with one of her London bobs—but Mrs. Dorothy did not let her pass with it; for all the time of drinking tea, she spoke of the precedency of family, and the disparity there is between people who are come of something and your mushroom gentry who wear their coats of arms in their purses.”
“Why, no one would want,” replied his aunt, “to stand out in a worse way than their neighbors; but, as I was saying before, times (as my friend, Mrs. Dorothy Walton, points out) have shamefully declined in this regard. Just the other day at Mr. Walton’s, that chubby guy’s p. 159 daughter, the London merchant, as he calls himself, even though I’ve heard he was barely more than a shopkeeper. We were about to leave the guys to go have tea. She had a hoop, of course, that was as large and stiff—and it revealed a pair of bowlegs that were as thick as two—I was closer to the door by an apron’s length, and that sassy girl brushed past me, acting as if to say, Make way for your betters, with one of her London hairstyles—but Mrs. Dorothy didn’t let her get away with it; because throughout tea time, she talked about the importance of family heritage and the difference between those who come from something and your nouveau riche gentry who carry their coats of arms in their wallets.”
Her indignation was interrupted by the arrival of her maid with a damask table-cloth, and a set of napkins, from the loom, which had been spun by her mistress’s own hand. There was the family crest in each corner, and in the middle a view of the battle of Worcester, where one of her ancestors had been a captain in the king’s forces; and with a sort of poetical licence in perspective, there was seen the Royal Oak, with more wig than leaves upon it.
Her anger was interrupted by the arrival of her maid with a damask tablecloth and a set of napkins, woven by her mistress’s own hands. Each corner featured the family crest, and in the center was a depiction of the Battle of Worcester, where one of her ancestors had served as a captain in the king’s army. With a touch of artistic license in the perspective, the Royal Oak was depicted, with more hair than leaves on it.
p. 160On all this the good lady was very copious, and took up the remaining intervals of filling tea, to describe its excellencies to Harley; adding, that she intended this as a present for his wife, when he should get one. He sighed and looked foolish, and commending the serenity of the day, walked out into the garden.
p. 160On all of this, the lady was quite talkative and filled the remaining moments while pouring tea to tell Harley about its benefits, mentioning that she intended it as a gift for his future wife. He sighed and looked a bit silly, and while praising the calmness of the day, he stepped out into the garden.
He sat down on a little seat which commanded an extensive prospect round the house. He leaned on his hand, and scored the ground with his stick: “Miss Walton married!” said he; “but what is that to me? May she be happy! her virtues deserve it; to me her marriage is otherwise indifferent: I had romantic dreams? they are fled?—it is perfectly indifferent.”
He sat down on a small bench that offered a wide view around the house. He rested his chin on his hand and traced patterns in the dirt with his stick: “Miss Walton got married!” he said. “But what does that matter to me? I hope she's happy; she deserves it for all her good qualities. Her marriage doesn't really affect me: I had my fantasies? They've disappeared?—it doesn't matter at all.”
Just at that moment he saw a servant with a knot of ribbons in his hat go into the house. His cheeks grew flushed at the sight! He kept his eye fixed for some time on the door by which he had entered, then starting to his feet, hastily followed him.
Just then, he spotted a servant with a bunch of ribbons in his hat going into the house. His cheeks flushed at the sight! He kept his gaze fixed on the door he had entered through for a while, then jumped to his feet and quickly followed him.
When he approached the door of the kitchen where he supposed the man had entered, his heart throbbed so violently, that when he would have called Peter, his voice failed in the attempt. He p. 161stood a moment listening in this breathless state of palpitation: Peter came out by chance. “Did your honour want any thing?”—“Where is the servant that came just now from Mr. Walton’s?”—“From Mr. Walton’s, sir! there is none of his servants here that I know of.”—“Nor of Sir Harry Benson’s?”—He did not wait for an answer; but having by this time observed the hat with its parti-coloured ornament hanging on a peg near the door, he pressed forwards into the kitchen, and addressing himself to a stranger whom he saw there, asked him, with no small tremor in his voice, “If he had any commands for him?” The man looked silly, and said, “That he had nothing to trouble his honour with.”—“Are not you a servant of Sir Harry Benson’s?”—“No, sir.”—“You’ll pardon me, young man; I judged by the favour in your hat.”—“Sir, I’m his majesty’s servant, God bless him! and these favours we always wear when we are recruiting.”—“Recruiting!” his eyes glistened at the word: he seized the soldier’s hand, and shaking it violently, ordered Peter to fetch a bottle of his aunt’s best dram. The bottle was brought: “You shall drink the king’s health,” said Harley, “in a bumper.”—p. 162“The king and your honour.”—“Nay, you shall drink the king’s health by itself; you may drink mine in another.” Peter looked in his master’s face, and filled with some little reluctance. “Now to your mistress,” said Harley; “every soldier has a mistress.” The man excused himself—“To your mistress! you cannot refuse it.” ’Twas Mrs. Margery’s best dram! Peter stood with the bottle a little inclined, but not so as to discharge a drop of its contents: “Fill it, Peter,” said his master, “fill it to the brim.” Peter filled it; and the soldier having named Suky Simpson, dispatched it in a twinkling. “Thou art an honest fellow,” said Harley, “and I love thee;” and shaking his hand again, desired Peter to make him his guest at dinner, and walked up into his room with a pace much quicker and more springy than usual.
When he got to the kitchen door where he thought the man had gone in, his heart raced so hard that when he tried to call Peter, his voice just wouldn't come out. He stood there for a moment, breathless with anxiety, listening for anything. Just then, Peter came out. “Did you need something, sir?”—“Where's the servant who just came from Mr. Walton's?”—“From Mr. Walton's, sir? I don't know of any servants from there.” —“What about Sir Harry Benson's?”—He didn't wait for a reply; noticing the hat with its colorful ornament hanging on a peg near the door, he stepped into the kitchen and asked a stranger there, his voice trembling, “Do you have any orders for me?” The man looked confused and said, “I have nothing to trouble you with, sir.” —“Aren't you a servant of Sir Harry Benson?”—“No, sir.” —“Excuse me, young man; I assumed from the favor on your hat that you were.” —“Sir, I’m a servant of his majesty, God bless him! and we always wear these favors when we’re recruiting.” —“Recruiting!” His eyes lit up at the word: he grabbed the soldier's hand and shook it enthusiastically, then told Peter to bring a bottle of his aunt's finest drink. The bottle was brought: “You shall drink to the king's health,” said Harley, “in a full glass.” —“To the king and your honor.” —“No, you will toast to the king's health by itself; you can drink to mine afterward.” Peter looked nervously at his master and filled the glass with some hesitation. “Now to your mistress,” said Harley; “every soldier has a mistress.” The man tried to decline—“To your mistress! You can't refuse it.” It was Mrs. Margery's best drink! Peter stood holding the bottle slightly tilted, but not enough to pour any out: “Fill it, Peter,” said his master, “fill it to the top.” Peter filled it, and the soldier, naming Suky Simpson, downed it in no time. “You’re a good guy,” said Harley, “and I like you;” and shaking his hand again, he urged Peter to invite him to dinner, then headed up to his room with a much faster and springier step than usual.
This agreeable disappointment, however, he was not long suffered to enjoy. The curate happened that day to dine with him: his visits, indeed, were more properly to the aunt than the nephew; and many of the intelligent ladies in the parish, who, like some very great philosophers, have the happy knack at accounting for everything, gave out that there was a particular attachment between them, p. 163which wanted only to be matured by some more years of courtship to end in the tenderest connection. In this conclusion, indeed, supposing the premises to have been true, they were somewhat justified by the known opinion of the lady, who frequently declared herself a friend to the ceremonial of former times, when a lover might have sighed seven years at his mistress’s feet before he was allowed the liberty of kissing her hand. ’Tis true Mrs. Margery was now about her grand climacteric; no matter: that is just the age when we expect to grow younger. But I verily believe there was nothing in the report; the curate’s connection was only that of a genealogist; for in that character he was no way inferior to Mrs. Margery herself. He dealt also in the present times; for he was a politician and a news-monger.
This agreeable disappointment, however, didn’t last long for him. The curate happened to be dining with him that day; his visits were more to the aunt than to the nephew. Many of the smart women in the parish, who, like some great philosophers, have a knack for explaining everything, claimed there was a special bond between them, p. 163 that just needed a few more years of courtship to develop into a loving relationship. They had some justification for this conclusion, assuming the premises were true, given the lady’s known stance. She often said she was a fan of the old customs, when a lover could sigh at his mistress’s feet for seven years before being allowed to kiss her hand. It’s true that Mrs. Margery was now at the age where people typically expect to feel younger. But I truly believe there was nothing to the rumors; the curate’s connection was solely that of a genealogist, and in that capacity, he was no less skilled than Mrs. Margery herself. He also engaged with contemporary matters since he was a politician and a gossipmonger.
He had hardly said grace after dinner, when he told Mrs. Margery that she might soon expect a pair of white gloves, as Sir Harry Benson, he was very well informed, was just going to be married to Miss Walton. Harley spilt the wine he was carrying to his mouth: he had time, however, to recollect himself before the curate had finished the p. 164different particulars of his intelligence, and summing up all the heroism he was master of, filled a bumper, and drank to Miss Walton. “With all my heart,” said the curate, “the bride that is to be.” Harley would have said bride too; but the word bride stuck in his throat. His confusion, indeed, was manifest; but the curate began to enter on some point of descent with Mrs. Margery, and Harley had very soon after an opportunity of leaving them, while they were deeply engaged in a question, whether the name of some great man in the time of Henry the Seventh was Richard or Humphrey.
He had barely finished saying grace after dinner when he told Mrs. Margery that she could soon expect a pair of white gloves, as he had heard from a reliable source that Sir Harry Benson was about to marry Miss Walton. Harley spilled the wine he was bringing to his mouth; however, he managed to collect himself before the curate finished sharing all the various details of his news. Summing up all the bravery he could muster, he filled a glass and toasted to Miss Walton. “With all my heart,” said the curate, “the bride-to-be.” Harley would have said "bride" too, but the word got stuck in his throat. His confusion was obvious; yet the curate began discussing some topic of lineage with Mrs. Margery, and Harley soon found a chance to leave them while they were deeply engrossed in a debate over whether the name of a certain famous man from the time of Henry the Seventh was Richard or Humphrey.
He did not see his aunt again till supper; the time between he spent in walking, like some troubled ghost, round the place where his treasure lay. He went as far as a little gate, that led into a copse near Mr. Walton’s house, to which that gentleman had been so obliging as to let him have a key. He had just begun to open it when he saw, on a terrace below, Miss Walton walking with a gentleman in a riding-dress, whom he immediately guessed to be Sir Harry Benson. He stopped of a sudden; his hand shook so much that he could hardly turn the key; he opened the p. 165gate, however, and advanced a few paces. The lady’s lap-dog pricked up its ears, and barked; he stopped again—
He didn’t see his aunt again until dinner; the time in between he spent wandering around the spot where his treasure was hidden, like a restless spirit. He walked as far as a small gate that led into a thicket near Mr. Walton’s house, for which Mr. Walton had kindly given him a key. He had just started to open it when he spotted Miss Walton on a terrace below, walking with a man in riding clothes, who he quickly guessed was Sir Harry Benson. He suddenly froze; his hand shook so much he could barely turn the key; still, he managed to open the p. 165gate and took a few steps forward. The lady’s lapdog perked up its ears and barked; he paused again—
—“The little dogs and all,
Tray, Blanch, and Sweetheart, see they bark at me!”—“The little dogs and all,
Tray, Blanch, and Sweetheart, look, they’re barking at me!”
His resolution failed; he slunk back, and, locking the gate as softly as he could, stood on tiptoe looking over the wall till they were gone. At that instant a shepherd blew his horn: the romantic melancholy of the sound quite overcame him!—it was the very note that wanted to be touched—he sighed! he dropped a tear!—and returned.
His determination wavered; he quietly retreated and, gently locking the gate, stood on his tiptoes to look over the wall until they left. At that moment, a shepherd blew his horn: the dreamy sadness of the sound completely overwhelmed him!—it was the exact note he needed to hear—he sighed! He shed a tear!—and came back.
At supper his aunt observed that he was graver than usual; but she did not suspect the cause: indeed, it may seem odd that she was the only person in the family who had no suspicion of his attachment to Miss Walton. It was frequently matter of discourse amongst the servants: perhaps her maiden coldness—but for those things we need not account.
At dinner, his aunt noticed that he seemed more serious than usual, but she didn’t suspect the reason. In fact, it might seem strange that she was the only one in the family who had no idea about his feelings for Miss Walton. It was often a topic of conversation among the servants; maybe it was her icy demeanor—but we don’t need to explain those things.
In a day or two he was so much master of himself as to be able to rhyme upon the subject. The following pastoral he left, some time after, on p. 166the handle of a tea-kettle, at a neighbouring house where we were visiting; and as I filled the tea-pot after him, I happened to put it in my pocket by a similar act of forgetfulness. It is such as might be expected from a man who makes verses for amusement. I am pleased with somewhat of good nature that runs through it, because I have commonly observed the writers of those complaints to bestow epithets on their lost mistresses rather too harsh for the mere liberty of choice, which led them to prefer another to the poet himself: I do not doubt the vehemence of their passion; but, alas! the sensations of love are something more than the returns of gratitude.
In a day or two, he had gained enough control over himself to write a rhyme on the topic. He left the following poem on p. 166the handle of a tea kettle at a nearby house we were visiting. When I filled the tea pot after him, I accidentally put the poem in my pocket. It's the kind of piece you’d expect from someone who writes verses just for fun. I appreciate the touch of good nature that runs through it, especially since I’ve often noticed that writers of such laments tend to use terms that are too harsh for the simple choice that led their beloved to prefer someone else over the poet. I have no doubt about the intensity of their feelings; however, the sensations of love involve more than just feelings of gratitude.
LAVINIA.
LAVINIA.
A Pastoral.
A Pastoral.
Why steals from my bosom the sigh?
Why fixed is my gaze on the ground?
Come, give me my pipe, and I’ll try
To banish my cares with the sound.Why does a sigh escape from my heart?
Why is my gaze fixed on the ground?
Give me my pipe, and I'll try
To chase away my worries with its sound.Erewhile were its notes of accord
With the smile of the flow’r-footed Muse;
Ah! why by its master implored
Shou’d it now the gay carrol refuse?Once, its notes harmonized
With the smile of the flower-footed Muse;
Ah! why, when its master asks,
Should it now refuse a cheerful song?Another, more happy, the maid
By fortune is destin’d to bless—
’Tho’ the hope has forsook that betray’d,
Yet why should I love her the less?Another, happier maid
Is destined by fortune to bless—
Though hope has abandoned the one who betrayed,
Why should I love her any less?Her beauties are bright as the morn,
With rapture I counted them o’er;
Such virtues these beauties adorn,
I knew her, and prais’d them no more.Her beauty shines like the morning,
With joy I counted them one by one;
Such qualities enhance her beauty,
I knew her, and praised them no longer.I term’d her no goddess of love,
I call’d not her beauty divine:
These far other passions may prove,
But they could not be figures of mine.I didn't call her a goddess of love,
I didn't say her beauty was divine:
These other feelings might be true,
But they couldn't represent my own.It ne’er was apparel’d with art,
On words it could never rely;
It reign’d in the throb of my heart,
It gleam’d in the glance of my eye.It was never dressed up with art,
It never relied on words;
It ruled in the beat of my heart,
It shone in the look of my eye.Oh fool! in the circle to shine
That Fashion’s gay daughters approve,
You must speak as the fashions incline;
Alas! are there fashions in love?Oh fool! to shine in the spotlight
That fashionable girls endorse,
You have to speak the way trends do;
Alas! are there trends in love?Yet sure they are simple who prize
The tongue that is smooth to deceive;
Yet sure she had sense to despise,
The tinsel that folly may weave.Yet those who value
The smooth tongue that deceives are simple;
Yet she certainly had the sense to dismiss,
The glitter that foolishness creates.When I talk’d, I have seen her recline,
With an aspect so pensively sweet,—
Tho’ I spoke what the shepherds opine,
A fop were ashamed to repeat.When I spoke, I saw her lying back,
With a look that was so sweetly thoughtful,—
Though I said what the shepherds believe,
A dandy would be too embarrassed to say.But why of her charms should I tell?
Ah me! whom her charms have undone
Yet I love the reflection too well,
The painful reflection to shun.But why should I talk about her charms?
Oh, how she's ruined me with them
Yet I love the thought too much,
To shy away from the painful memory.Ye souls of more delicate kind,
Who feast not on pleasure alone,
Who wear the soft sense of the mind,
To the sons of the world still unknown.You souls of a more delicate nature,
Who don’t just indulge in pleasure,
Who embrace the gentle feelings of the mind,
To the children of the world still unknown.Ye know, tho’ I cannot express,
Why I foolishly doat on my pain;
Nor will ye believe it the less,
That I have not the skill to complain.You know, even though I can’t explain,
Why I foolishly dwell on my pain;
Nor will you believe it any less,
That I don’t have the words to complain.I lean on my hand with a sigh,
My friends the soft sadness condemn;
Yet, methinks, tho’ I cannot tell why,
I should hate to be merry like them.I rest my hand with a sigh,
My friends, the gentle sadness, judge me;
Yet, I think, though I can't explain why,
I would hate to be happy like they are.When I walk’d in the pride of the dawn,
Methought all the region look’d bright:
Has sweetness forsaken the lawn?
For, methinks, I grow sad at the sight.When I walked in the pride of dawn,
I thought the whole area looked bright:
Has sweetness left the lawn?
Because, it seems to me, I’m feeling sad at the sight.When I stood by the stream, I have thought
There was mirth in the gurgling soft sound;
But now ’tis a sorrowful note,
And the banks are all gloomy around!When I stood by the stream, I thought
There was joy in the gentle gurgle;
But now it has a sad tone,
And the banks are all dark and gloomy!They sing the sweet song of the May,
They sing it with mirth and with glee;
Sure I once thought the sonnet was gay,
But now ’tis all sadness to me.They sing the sweet song of May,
They sing it with joy and delight;
I used to think the sonnet was cheerful,
But now it feels like all sadness to me.Oh! give me the dubious light
That gleams thro’ the quivering shade;
Oh! give me the horrors of night,
By gloom and by silence array’d!Oh! give me the uncertain light
That shines through the trembling shadows;
Oh! give me the terrors of night,
Wrapped in darkness and silence!Let me walk where the soft-rising wave,
Has pictur’d the moon on its breast;
Let me walk where the new cover’d grave
Allows the pale lover to rest!Let me stroll where the gentle waves rise,
Have painted the moon on their surface;
Let me walk where the freshly covered grave
Lets the pale lover find peace!When shall I in its peaceable womb,
Be laid with my sorrows asleep?
Should Lavinia but chance on my tomb—
I could die if I thought she would weep.When will I be laid in its peaceful embrace,
Resting with my sorrows asleep?
If Lavinia happens to find my grave—
I could die if I thought she would cry.Perhaps, if the souls of the just
Revisit these mansions of care,
It may be my favourite trust
To watch o’er the fate of the fair.Perhaps, if the souls of the righteous
Return to these homes of concern,
It might be my greatest hope
To look after the destiny of the good.Perhaps the soft thought of her breast,
With rapture more favour’d to warm;
Perhaps, if with sorrow oppress’d,
Her sorrow with patience to arm.Perhaps the gentle thought of her heart,
With joy more favored to warm;
Maybe, if burdened by grief,
Her sorrow with courage to calm.Then, then, in the tenderest part
May I whisper, “Poor Colin was true,”
And mark if a heave of her heart
The thought of her Colin pursue.Then, then, in the gentlest part
May I whisper, “Poor Colin was real,”
And see if there's a flutter of her heart
At the thought of her Colin pursuing.
p. 170THE
PUPIL.
A fragment.
* * * “But as to the higher part of education, Mr. Harley, the culture of the mind—let the feelings be awakened, let the heart be brought forth to its object, placed in the light in which nature would have it stand, and its decisions will ever be just. The world
* * * “But when it comes to the higher level of education, Mr. Harley, the development of the mind—let the emotions be stirred, let the heart be directed toward what truly matters, positioned in the light that nature intends for it, and its choices will always be right. The world
Will smile, and smile, and be a villain;
Will smile, and smile, and be a bad guy;
and the youth, who does not suspect its deceit, will be content to smile with it. Men will put on the most forbidding aspect in nature, and tell him of the beauty of virtue.
and the young person, who doesn't see its trickery, will happily smile along. People will adopt the most intimidating demeanor and tell him about the allure of goodness.
“I have not, under these grey hairs, forgotten that I was once a young man, warm in the pursuit of pleasure, but meaning to be honest as well as happy. I had ideas of virtue, of honour, of benevolence, which I had never been at the pains to define; but I felt my bosom heave at the thoughts of them, and I made the most delightful soliloquies. It is impossible, said I, that there can be half so many rogues as are imagined.
“I have not, with these grey hairs, forgotten that I was once a young man, eager for pleasure but also wanting to be honest and happy. I had thoughts about virtue, honor, and kindness that I never bothered to define, but I felt my heart swell at the idea of them, and I had the most enjoyable conversations with myself. It’s impossible, I said, that there can be as many dishonest people as people think.”
p. 171“I travelled, because it is the fashion for young men of my fortune to travel. I had a travelling tutor, which is the fashion too; but my tutor was a gentleman, which it is not always the fashion for tutors to be. His gentility, indeed, was all he had from his father, whose prodigality had not left him a shilling to support it.
p. 171“I traveled because it’s typical for young men of my wealth to do so. I had a traveling tutor, which is also typical; but my tutor was a gentleman, which isn’t always the case for tutors. His gentility was, in fact, all he inherited from his father, whose extravagant spending hadn’t left him a dime to maintain it.
“‘I have a favour to ask of you, my dear Mountford,’ said my father, ‘which I will not be refused. You have travelled as became a man; neither France nor Italy have made anything of Mountford, which Mountford, before he left England, would have been ashamed of. My son Edward goes abroad, would you take him under your protection?’
“‘I have a favor to ask of you, my dear Mountford,’ said my father, ‘which I won’t take no for an answer. You have traveled as a man should; neither France nor Italy has changed Mountford in any way that he would have been ashamed of before he left England. My son Edward is going abroad; would you look out for him?’”
“He blushed; my father’s face was scarlet. He pressed his hand to his bosom, as if he had said, my heart does not mean to offend you. Mountford sighed twice.
“He blushed; my father’s face turned bright red. He pressed his hand to his chest, as if to say, my heart does not mean to offend you. Mountford sighed twice.
“‘I am a proud fool,’ said he, ‘and you will pardon it. There! (he sighed again) I can hear of dependance, since it is dependance on my Sedley.’
“‘I’m a proud fool,’ he said, ‘and you’ll forgive me for it. There! (he sighed again) I can accept dependence, since it’s dependence on my Sedley.’”
“They embraced; and soon after I set out on my travels, with Mountford for my guardian.
“They hugged each other, and not long after that, I started my journey, with Mountford as my guardian.”
“We were at Milan, where my father happened to have an Italian friend, to whom he had been of some service in England. The count, for he was of quality, was solicitous to return the obligation by a particular attention to his son. We lived in his palace, visited with his family, were caressed by his friends, and I began to be so well pleased with my entertainment, that I thought of England as of some foreign country.
“We were in Milan, where my father had an Italian friend he had helped while in England. The count, being of noble birth, was eager to repay the favor by paying special attention to his son. We stayed in his palace, spent time with his family, were welcomed by his friends, and I started to enjoy myself so much that I began to see England as if it were a foreign country.”
“The count had a son not much older than myself. At that age a friend is an easy acquisition; we were friends the first night of our acquaintance.
“The count had a son who was not much older than me. At that age, making a friend is pretty simple; we became friends the very first night we met.”
“He introduced me into the company of a set of young gentlemen, whose fortunes gave them the command of pleasure, and whose inclinations incited them to the purchase. After having spent some joyous evenings in their society, it became a sort of habit which I could not miss without uneasiness, and our meetings, which before were frequent, were now stated and regular.
“He introduced me to a group of young men, whose wealth allowed them to indulge in pleasure, and whose desires encouraged them to spend. After enjoying some fun evenings with them, it became a routine I felt uneasy missing, and our gatherings, which were once casual, became regular and scheduled.”
p. 173“Sometimes, in the pauses of our mirth, gaming was introduced as an amusement. It was an art in which I was a novice. I received instruction, as other novices do, by losing pretty largely to my teachers. Nor was this the only evil which Mountford foresaw would arise from the connection I had formed; but a lecture of sour injunctions was not his method of reclaiming. He sometimes asked me questions about the company, but they were such as the curiosity of any indifferent man might have prompted. I told him of their wit, their eloquence, their warmth of friendship, and their sensibility of heart. ‘And their honour,’ said I, laying my hand on my breast, ‘is unquestionable.’ Mountford seemed to rejoice at my good fortune, and begged that I would introduce him to their acquaintance. At the next meeting I introduced him accordingly.
p. 173“Sometimes, during breaks in our laughter, we’d play some games for fun. I was a beginner at it. I learned, like most beginners do, by losing quite a bit to my teachers. But that wasn’t the only problem Mountford anticipated from the group I’d gotten involved with; however, he didn’t believe in lecturing me with strict warnings as a way to steer me away. He would occasionally ask me about the people in the group, but his questions were the kind any casual observer might ask. I told him about their quick wit, their persuasive speech, their deep friendships, and their empathetic nature. ‘And their honor,’ I said, placing my hand on my chest, ‘is beyond question.’ Mountford seemed pleased with my good fortune and asked me to introduce him to them. At the next gathering, I did just that.”
“The conversation was as animated as usual. They displayed all that sprightliness and good-humour which my praises had led Mountford to expect; subjects, too, of sentiment occurred, and their speeches, particularly those of our friend the son of Count Respino, glowed with the warmth of honour, and softened into the tenderness p. 174of feeling. Mountford was charmed with his companions. When we parted, he made the highest eulogiums upon them. ‘When shall we see them again?’ said he. I was delighted with the demand, and promised to reconduct him on the morrow.
“The conversation was just as lively as always. They showed all the energy and good humor that my compliments had led Mountford to expect; topics of sentiment also came up, and their speeches, especially those of our friend the son of Count Respino, radiated with the warmth of honor and softened into a heartfelt tenderness p. 174. Mountford was enchanted with his friends. When we said our goodbyes, he praised them highly. ‘When will we see them again?’ he asked. I was thrilled by his request and promised to take him back tomorrow.”
“In going to their place of rendezvous, he took me a little out of the road, to see, as he told me, the performances of a young statuary. When we were near the house in which Mountford said he lived, a boy of about seven years old crossed us in the street. At sight of Mountford he stopped, and grasping his hand,
“In heading to their meeting spot, he took me a small detour to check out, as he mentioned, the work of a young sculptor. When we were close to the house where Mountford said he lived, a boy of around seven years old walked across our path. As soon as he saw Mountford, he stopped and grabbed his hand,
“‘My dearest sir,’ said he, ‘my father is likely to do well. He will live to pray for you, and to bless you. Yes, he will bless you, though you are an Englishman, and some other hard word that the monk talked of this morning, which I have forgot, but it meant that you should not go to heaven; but he shall go to heaven, said I, for he has saved my father. Come and see him, sir, that we may be happy.’
“‘My dear sir,’ he said, ‘my father is doing well. He will live to pray for you and to bless you. Yes, he will bless you, even though you are English and some other harsh term the monk mentioned this morning, which I forgot, but it meant you shouldn’t go to heaven; but he will go to heaven, I said, because he saved my father. Come and see him, sir, so we can be happy together.’”
“‘My dear, I am engaged at present with this gentleman.’
“‘My dear, I'm currently busy with this gentleman.’”
“Mountford smiled, and we followed the boy together.
“Mountford smiled, and we followed the kid together.
“‘Are you afraid, sir?’ said he. ‘I was afraid once too, but my father and mother are here, and I am never afraid when I am with them.’
“‘Are you scared, sir?’ he asked. ‘I used to be scared too, but my mom and dad are here, and I’m never scared when I’m with them.’”
“He took my hand, and led me through a dark passage that fronted the gate. When we came to a little door at the end, he tapped. A boy, still younger than himself, opened it to receive us. Mountford entered with a look in which was pictured the benign assurance of a superior being. I followed in silence and amazement.
“He took my hand and led me through a dark corridor in front of the gate. When we reached a small door at the end, he knocked. A boy, even younger than him, opened it to let us in. Mountford walked in with an expression that conveyed the calm confidence of someone in authority. I followed in silence, feeling amazed.”
“On something like a bed, lay a man, with a face seemingly emaciated with sickness, and a look of patient dejection. A bundle of dirty shreds served him for a pillow, but he had a better support—the arm of a female who kneeled beside him, beautiful as an angel, but with a fading languor in her countenance, the still life of melancholy, that seemed to borrow its shade from the object on which she gazed. There was a tear in her eye—the sick man kissed it off in its bud, smiling through the dimness of his own—when she saw Mountford, she crawled forward on the ground, and clasped his knees. He raised her from the floor; she threw her arms round his neck, and sobbed out a speech of thankfulness, eloquent beyond the power of language.
“On something like a bed lay a man, with a face that looked thin and sickly, showing a look of quiet sadness. A bunch of dirty rags served as his pillow, but he had a better support—the arm of a woman who knelt beside him, beautiful like an angel but with a faint weariness in her expression, a stillness of sadness that seemed to reflect the man’s condition. There was a tear in her eye—the sick man kissed it away before it could fall, smiling through his own dimness—when she saw Mountford, she crawled forward on the ground and clung to his knees. He lifted her from the floor; she wrapped her arms around his neck and cried out a thank you that was more powerful than words could express.”
“‘Compose yourself, my love,’ said the man on the bed; ‘but he, whose goodness has caused that emotion, will pardon its effects.’
“‘Calm down, my love,’ said the man on the bed; ‘but he, whose kindness caused that emotion, will forgive its effects.’”
“‘How is this, Mountford?’ said I; ‘what do I see? What must I do?’
“‘What’s going on, Mountford?’ I asked; ‘what am I seeing? What should I do?’”
“‘You see,’ replied the stranger, ‘a wretch, sunk in poverty, starving in prison, stretched on a sick bed. But that is little. There are his wife and children wanting the bread which he has not to give them! Yet you cannot easily imagine the conscious serenity of his mind. In the gripe of affliction, his heart swells with the pride of virtue; it can even look down with pity on the man whose cruelty has wrung it almost to bursting. You are, I fancy, a friend of Mr. Mountford’s. Come nearer, and I’ll tell you, for, short as my story is, p. 177I can hardly command breath enough for a recital. The son of Count Respino (I started, as if I had trod on a viper) has long had a criminal passion for my wife. This her prudence had concealed from me; but he had lately the boldness to declare it to myself. He promised me affluence in exchange for honour, and threatened misery as its attendant if I kept it. I treated him with the contempt he deserved; the consequence was, that he hired a couple of bravoes (for I am persuaded they acted under his direction), who attempted to assassinate me in the street; but I made such a defence as obliged them to fly, after having given me two or three stabs, none of which, however, were mortal. But his revenge was not thus to be disappointed. In the little dealings of my trade I had contracted some debts, of which he had made himself master for my ruin. I was confined here at his suit, when not yet recovered from the wounds I had received; the dear woman, and these two boys, followed me, that we might starve together; but Providence interposed, and sent Mr. Mountford to our support. He has relieved my family from the gnawings of hunger, and rescued me from death, to which a fever, consequent on my wounds and p. 178increased by the want of every necessary, had almost reduced me.’
“‘You see,’ replied the stranger, ‘a miserable person, trapped in poverty, starving in prison, lying on a sick bed. But that’s just part of it. There’s his wife and kids needing the food he can’t provide! Yet you wouldn’t easily believe how calm his mind is. Even in his suffering, his heart swells with the pride of virtue; it can even look down with pity on the man whose cruelty has nearly broken it. You’re, I think, a friend of Mr. Mountford’s. Come closer, and I’ll tell you, for, though my story is short, p. 177I can barely catch my breath to share it. The son of Count Respino (I jumped, as if I stepped on a snake) has long had an obsession with my wife. She had kept it a secret from me; but recently, he had the audacity to confess it to me. He offered me wealth in exchange for my honor and threatened misery if I refused. I dismissed him with the contempt he deserved; as a result, he hired a couple of thugs (I’m convinced they were working for him) who tried to kill me in the street; but I managed to defend myself, forcing them to flee after they gave me two or three stabs, none of which were fatal. But he wasn’t going to let his revenge be thwarted like that. In the small dealings of my trade, I accrued some debts, which he manipulated to ruin me. I was locked up here at his demand, while still recovering from the wounds I suffered; my beloved, and these two boys, followed me so we could starve together; but Providence intervened and sent Mr. Mountford to help us. He has saved my family from hunger and rescued me from death, from which a fever resulting from my wounds and p. 178exacerbated by the lack of basic necessities, had almost brought me.’”
“‘Inhuman villain!’ I exclaimed, lifting up my eyes to heaven.
“‘Inhumane villain!’ I exclaimed, looking up at the sky.
“‘Inhuman indeed!’ said the lovely woman who stood at my side. ‘Alas! sir, what had we done to offend him? what had these little ones done, that they should perish in the toils of his vengeance?’
“‘Inhuman indeed!’ said the beautiful woman who stood beside me. ‘Oh no! What have we done to upset him? What have these little ones done to deserve suffering in his wrath?’”
“I reached a pen which stood in the inkstand dish at the bed-side.
“I reached for a pen that was in the inkstand on the bedside.”
“‘May I ask what is the amount of the sum for which you are imprisoned?’
“‘Can I ask how much you're in prison for?’”
“‘I was able,’ he replied, ‘to pay all but five hundred crowns.’
“I managed,” he replied, “to pay all but five hundred crowns.”
“I wrote a draft on the banker with whom I had a credit from my father for 2,500, and presenting it to the stranger’s wife,
“I wrote a draft to the banker who had a credit from my father for $2,500 and presented it to the stranger’s wife,
“‘You will receive, madam, on presenting this note, a sum more than sufficient for your husband’s discharge; the remainder I leave for his industry to improve.’
“‘You will receive, ma'am, when you present this note, an amount that is more than enough to cover your husband’s release; the rest I leave for him to use as he sees fit.’”
“I would have left the room. Each of them laid hold of one of my hands, the children clung to my coat. Oh! Mr. Harley, methinks I feel their p. 179gentle violence at this moment; it beats here with delight inexpressible.
“I would have left the room. Each of them grabbed one of my hands, and the kids hung onto my coat. Oh! Mr. Harley, I think I can feel their gentle violence right now; it fills me with inexpressible joy.”
“‘Stay, sir,’ said he, ‘I do not mean attempting to thank you’ (he took a pocket-book from under his pillow), ‘let me but know what name I shall place here next to Mr. Mountford!’
“‘Hold on, sir,’ he said, ‘I’m not trying to thank you’ (he pulled out a wallet from under his pillow), ‘just let me know what name I should write here next to Mr. Mountford!’”
“‘Sedley.’
"Sedley."
“He writ it down.
“He wrote it down."
“‘An Englishman too, I presume.’
"An Englishman as well, I guess."
“‘He shall go to heaven, notwithstanding;’ said the boy who had been our guide.
“‘He’ll go to heaven, anyway,’ said the boy who had been our guide.
“It began to be too much for me. I squeezed his hand that was clasped in mine, his wife’s I pressed to my lips, and burst from the place, to give vent to the feelings that laboured within me.
“It started to be too overwhelming for me. I squeezed his hand, which was held in mine, pressed his wife's hand to my lips, and rushed out of the place to release the emotions that were struggling inside me.
“‘Oh, Mountford!’ said I, when he had overtaken me at the door.
“‘Oh, Mountford!’ I said, when he caught up with me at the door.
“‘It is time,’ replied he, ‘that we should think of our appointment; young Respino and his friends are waiting us.’
“‘It’s time,’ he replied, ‘that we should think about our appointment; young Respino and his friends are waiting for us.’”
“‘Damn him, damn him!’ said I. ‘Let us leave Milan instantly; but soft—I will be calm; Mountford, your pencil.’ I wrote on a slip of paper,
“‘Damn him, damn him!’ I said. ‘Let’s leave Milan right away; but wait—I’ll stay calm; Mountford, give me your pencil.’ I wrote on a piece of paper,
“‘When you receive this, I am at a distance from Milan. Accept of my thanks for the civilities I have received from you and your family. As to the friendship with which you were pleased to honour me, the prison, which I have just left, has exhibited a scene to cancel it for ever. You may possibly be merry with your companions at my weakness, as I suppose you will term it. I give you leave for derision. You may affect a triumph, I shall feel it.
“‘By the time you receive this, I'll be far away from Milan. I appreciate the kindness that you and your family have shown me. About the friendship you generously offered, my recent experience in prison has given me a reason to end it for good. You may be laughing with your friends about what you’ll probably call my weakness. Feel free to mock me. You can act like you’ve won; I will sense it.
“Edward Sedley.”
“Edward Sedley.”
“‘You may send this if you will,’ said Mountford, coolly, ‘but still Respino is a man of honour; the world will continue to call him so.’
“‘You can send this if you want,’ said Mountford casually, ‘but Respino is still a man of honour; people will keep calling him that.’”
“‘It is probable,’ I answered, ‘they may; I envy not the appellation. If this is the world’s honour, if these men are the guides of its manners—’
“‘It’s likely,’ I replied, ‘they might; I don’t envy the title. If this is what the world considers honor, if these men are the ones shaping its behavior—’”
“‘Tut!’ said Mountford, ‘do you eat macaroni—’”
“‘Tut!’ said Mountford, ‘do you eat macaroni—’”
* * * * *
Understood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.
[At this place had the greatest depredations of the curate begun. There were so very few connected p. 181passages of the subsequent chapters remaining, that even the partiality of an editor could not offer them to the public. I discovered, from some scattered sentences, that they were of much the same tenor with the preceding; recitals of little adventures, in which the dispositions of a man, sensible to judge, and still more warm to feel, had room to unfold themselves. Some instruction, and some example, I make no doubt they contained; but it is likely that many of those, whom chance has led to a perusal of what I have already presented, may have read it with little pleasure, and will feel no disappointment from the want of those parts which I have been unable to procure. To such as may have expected the intricacies of a novel, a few incidents in a life undistinguished, except by some features of the heart, cannot have afforded much entertainment.
[This is where the curate's biggest troubles began. There were so few remaining connected parts p. 181 of the following chapters that even an editor's bias couldn't present them to the public. From some scattered lines, I found out that they were pretty similar to what came before—stories of minor adventures where a sensible man could truly express his feelings. They likely offered some wisdom and examples, but I doubt many who stumbled upon my previous writing found it particularly enjoyable and won't be disappointed by the missing sections I couldn't obtain. For those expecting the complexity of a novel, a few incidents from an ordinary life, marked only by some emotional nuances, probably provided little entertainment.]
Harley’s own story, from the mutilated passages I have mentioned, as well as from some inquiries I was at the trouble of making in the country, I found to have been simple to excess. His mistress, I could perceive, was not married to Sir Harry Benson; but it would seem, by one of the following chapters, which is still entire, that Harley had not p. 182profited on the occasion by making any declaration of his own passion, after those of the other had been unsuccessful. The state of his health, for some part of this period, appears to have been such as to forbid any thoughts of that kind: he had been seized with a very dangerous fever, caught by attending old Edwards in one of an infectious kind. From this he had recovered but imperfectly, and though he had no formed complaint, his health was manifestly on the decline.
Harley’s own story, based on the fragmented passages I mentioned, as well as some inquiries I took the time to make in the area, turned out to be extremely straightforward. I could tell that his mistress wasn’t married to Sir Harry Benson; however, it seems from one of the following chapters, which remains complete, that Harley didn’t take the opportunity to express his own feelings after the other person’s attempts had failed. For part of this time, his health was such that it prevented any thoughts of that nature: he had come down with a serious fever caught while caring for old Edwards during a contagious outbreak. He had only partially recovered from this, and although he had no specific complaints, his health was clearly deteriorating.
It appears that the sagacity of some friend had at length pointed out to his aunt a cause from which this might be supposed to proceed, to wit, his hopeless love for Miss Walton; for, according to the conceptions of the world, the love of a man of Harley’s fortune for the heiress of £4,000 a year is indeed desperate. Whether it was so in this case may be gathered from the next chapter, which, with the two subsequent, concluding the performance, have escaped those accidents that proved fatal to the rest.]
It seems that the wisdom of a certain friend finally pointed out to his aunt a reason for this situation, namely, his unrequited love for Miss Walton. According to societal views, a wealthy man's love for an heiress with an income of £4,000 a year is truly a lost cause. Whether this was true in this case can be understood from the next chapter, which, along with the two that follow, concludes the story and has avoided the mishaps that were disastrous for the others.
p. 183CHAPTER LV.
He sees Miss Walton and feels happy.
Harley was one of those few friends whom the malevolence of fortune had yet left me; I could not therefore but be sensibly concerned for his present indisposition; there seldom passed a day on which I did not make inquiry about him.
Harley was one of the few friends that bad luck hadn't taken from me yet; so I couldn't help but be genuinely worried about his current illness. Hardly a day went by without me checking in on him.
The physician who attended him had informed me the evening before, that he thought him considerably better than he had been for some time past. I called next morning to be confirmed in a piece of intelligence so welcome to me.
The doctor who treated him told me the night before that he believed he was doing much better than he had been for a while. I went to see him the next morning to confirm this news, which was so welcome to me.
When I entered his apartment, I found him sitting on a couch, leaning on his hand, with his eye turned upwards in the attitude of thoughtful inspiration. His look had always an open benignity, which commanded esteem; there was now something more—a gentle triumph in it.
When I walked into his apartment, I found him sitting on a couch, resting his hand on his chin, with his gaze directed upward as if deep in thought. He always had an open friendliness that earned respect; now, there was something extra—a subtle sense of triumph in his expression.
He rose, and met me with his usual kindness. When I gave him the good accounts I had had from his physician, “I am foolish enough,” said he, “to rely but little, in this instance, upon physic: my p. 184presentiment may be false; but I think I feel myself approaching to my end, by steps so easy, that they woo me to approach it.
He got up and greeted me with his usual kindness. When I shared the good news I had received from his doctor, he said, “I’m foolish enough to trust very little in medicine this time: my p. 184feeling might be wrong; but I think I can sense that I’m gradually nearing my end, with such gentle steps that they invite me to come closer.”
“There is a certain dignity in retiring from life at a time, when the infirmities of age have not sapped our faculties. This world, my dear Charles, was a scene in which I never much delighted. I was not formed for the bustle of the busy, nor the dissipation of the gay; a thousand things occurred, where I blushed for the impropriety of my conduct when I thought on the world, though my reason told me I should have blushed to have done otherwise.—It was a scene of dissimulation, of restraint, of disappointment. I leave it to enter on that state which I have learned to believe is replete with the genuine happiness attendant upon virtue. I look back on the tenor of my life, with the consciousness of few great offences to account for. There are blemishes, I confess, which deform in some degree the picture. But I know the benignity of the Supreme Being, and rejoice at the thoughts of its exertion in my favour. My mind expands at the thought I shall enter into the society of the blessed, wise as angels, with the simplicity of children.” He had by this time clasped my hand, and found p. 185it wet by a tear which had just fallen upon it.—His eye began to moisten too—we sat for some time silent.—At last, with an attempt to a look of more composure, “There are some remembrances,” said Harley, “which rise involuntary on my heart, and make me almost wish to live. I have been blessed with a few friends, who redeem my opinion of mankind. I recollect, with the tenderest emotion, the scenes of pleasure I have passed among them; but we shall meet again, my friend, never to be separated. There are some feelings which perhaps are too tender to be suffered by the world.—The world is in general selfish, interested, and unthinking, and throws the imputation of romance or melancholy on every temper more susceptible than its own. I cannot think but in those regions which I contemplate, if there is any thing of mortality left about us, that these feelings will subsist;—they are called,—perhaps they are—weaknesses here;—but there may be some better modifications of them in heaven, which may deserve the name of virtues.” He sighed as he spoke these last words. He had scarcely finished them, when the door opened, and his aunt appeared, leading in Miss Walton. “My dear,” said she, “here is Miss Walton, p. 186who has been so kind as to come and inquire for you herself.” I could observe a transient glow upon his face. He rose from his seat—“If to know Miss Walton’s goodness,” said he, “be a title to deserve it, I have some claim.” She begged him to resume his seat, and placed herself on the sofa beside him. I took my leave. Mrs. Margery accompanied me to the door. He was left with Miss Walton alone. She inquired anxiously about his health. “I believe,” said he, “from the accounts which my physicians unwillingly give me, that they have no great hopes of my recovery.”—She started as he spoke; but recollecting herself immediately, endeavoured to flatter him into a belief that his apprehensions were groundless. “I know,” said he, “that it is usual with persons at my time of life to have these hopes, which your kindness suggests; but I would not wish to be deceived. To meet death as becomes a man, is a privilege bestowed on few.—I would endeavour to make it mine;—nor do I think that I can ever be better prepared for it than now:—It is that chiefly which determines the fitness of its approach.” “Those sentiments,” answered Miss Walton, “are just; but your good sense, Mr. Harley, will own, that life has its proper p. 187value.—As the province of virtue, life is ennobled; as such, it is to be desired.—To virtue has the Supreme Director of all things assigned rewards enough even here to fix its attachment.”
“There’s a certain dignity in stepping away from life while our faculties are still intact. This world, my dear Charles, has never really been one I enjoyed much. I’m not built for the hustle and bustle of busy people or the carefree nature of the joyful; a thousand times I’ve felt shame for my behavior when reflecting on the world, even though my reason told me I should be ashamed if I acted differently. It’s a place of deception, restraint, and disappointment. I’m leaving it to embrace what I’ve come to believe is filled with genuine happiness that comes from virtue. Looking back at my life, I feel grateful for the few significant wrongs I have to account for. Sure, there are flaws that somewhat tarnish the picture. But I trust in the kindness of the Supreme Being and find joy in the thought of its influence in my favor. My mind expands thinking about joining the company of the blessed, wise like angels, but with the innocence of children.” He had by then clasped my hand, and I noticed it was wet from a tear that had just fallen on it. His eyes began to moisten as well—we sat in silence for a while. Finally, attempting a more composed expression, Harley said, “There are some memories that involuntarily stir my heart and make me almost wish to live. I’ve been fortunate to have a few friends who restore my faith in humanity. I remember, with the deepest emotion, the joyful moments I spent with them; but we’ll meet again, my friend, never to be apart. Some feelings are perhaps too delicate to bear in this world. The world is generally selfish, self-centered, and thoughtless, and it ridicules anyone more sensitive than itself by labeling them as romantic or melancholic. I can’t help but think in the realms I envision, if there’s any humanity left in us, those feelings will remain—they’re seen as—maybe they are—weaknesses here; however, there might be a more refined version of them in heaven that might earn the title of virtues.” He sighed as he spoke these last words. He had barely finished when the door opened, and his aunt came in, leading Miss Walton. “My dear,” she said, “here’s Miss Walton, who has kindly come to check on you herself.” I noticed a fleeting blush on his face. He stood up—“If knowing Miss Walton’s goodness gives me a reason to deserve it, then I have some claim.” She urged him to sit down again and took a seat on the sofa beside him. I took my leave. Mrs. Margery walked me to the door. He was left alone with Miss Walton. She asked about his health with concern. “I think,” he said, “from what my doctors reluctantly tell me, they don’t have much hope for my recovery.” She flinched at his words, but quickly composed herself and tried to reassure him that his worries were unfounded. “I know,” he said, “that it’s common for people at my age to hold on to the hopes your kindness brings; but I don’t want to be misled. Facing death like a man is a privilege granted to few. I want to make it mine; and I don’t believe I can ever be better prepared for it than I am now—it’s something that largely defines how fit we are for its arrival.” “Those thoughts,” replied Miss Walton, “are valid; but your good sense, Mr. Harley, will recognize that life has its own inherent value. As the realm of virtue, life is elevated; for that reason, it’s something to be cherished. To virtue, the Supreme Director of all things has provided enough rewards even here to secure its loyalty.”
The subject began to overpower her.—Harley lifted his eyes from the ground—“There are,” said he, in a very low voice, “there are attachments, Miss Walton”—His glance met hers.—They both betrayed a confusion, and were both instantly withdrawn.—He paused some moments—“I am such a state as calls for sincerity, let that also excuse it—It is perhaps the last time we shall ever meet. I feel something particularly solemn in the acknowledgment, yet my heart swells to make it, awed as it is by a sense of my presumption, by a sense of your perfections”—He paused again—“Let it not offend you, to know their power over one so unworthy—It will, I believe, soon cease to beat, even with that feeling which it shall lose the latest.—To love Miss Walton could not be a crime;—if to declare it is one—the expiation will be made.”—Her tears were now flowing without control.—“Let me intreat you,” said she, “to have better hopes—Let not life be so indifferent to you; if my wishes can put any value on it—I will not p. 188pretend to misunderstand you—I know your worth—I have known it long—I have esteemed it—What would you have me say?—I have loved it as it deserved.”—He seized her hand—a languid colour reddened his cheek—a smile brightened faintly in his eye. As he gazed on her, it grew dim, it fixed, it closed—He sighed and fell back on his seat—Miss Walton screamed at the sight—His aunt and the servants rushed into the room—They found them lying motionless together.—His physician happened to call at that instant. Every art was tried to recover them—With Miss Walton they succeeded—But Harley was gone for ever.
The subject began to take over her. Harley lifted his eyes from the floor. “There are,” he said in a very low voice, “there are feelings, Miss Walton.” His gaze met hers. They both showed signs of confusion and quickly pulled away. He paused for a moment. “I’m in a state that calls for honesty; let that excuse it. This may be the last time we ever meet. I feel something particularly serious in acknowledging this, yet my heart swells to say it, though it’s aware of my audacity and your greatness.” He paused again. “Please don’t be offended to know how much power you have over someone so unworthy. I believe this heart will soon stop beating, even with the last feeling it will lose. To love you, Miss Walton, can't be a crime; if declaring it is, then I’ll pay the price.” Tears were now flowing uncontrollably from her. “Please let me urge you,” she said, “to have better hopes. Don’t let life feel so indifferent to you; if my wishes mean anything, I won’t pretend to misunderstand you. I know your worth. I've known it for a long time, and I have respected it. What do you want me to say? I have loved it as it deserves.” He took her hand; a faint blush colored his cheek, and a weak smile flickered in his eye. As he looked at her, the light in his eyes dimmed, fixed, and closed. He sighed and fell back into his seat. Miss Walton screamed at the sight. His aunt and the servants rushed into the room. They found them lying motionless together. His doctor happened to arrive at that moment. Every possible effort was made to revive them. They succeeded with Miss Walton, but Harley was lost forever.
CHAPTER LVI.
HEARTFELT EMOTIONS.
I entered the room where his body lay; I approached it with reverence, not fear: I looked; the recollection of the past crowded upon me. I saw that form which, but a little before, was animated with a soul which did honour to humanity, stretched without p. 189sense or feeling before me. ’Tis a connection we cannot easily forget:—I took his hand in mine; I repeated his name involuntary;—I felt a pulse in every vein at the sound. I looked earnestly in his face; his eye was closed, his lip pale and motionless. There is an enthusiasm in sorrow that forgets impossibility; I wondered that it was so. The sight drew a prayer from my heart: it was the voice of frailty and of man! the confusion of my mind began to subside into thought; I had time to meet!
I entered the room where his body lay; I approached it with respect, not fear: I looked; memories of the past flooded my mind. I saw that form which, just a short while ago, was filled with a soul that honored humanity, now stretched out without p. 189sense or feeling before me. It’s a bond we can’t easily forget:—I took his hand in mine; I involuntarily repeated his name;—I felt a pulse in every vein at the sound. I looked intently at his face; his eyes were closed, his lips pale and still. There’s a passion in sorrow that forgets what’s impossible; I was surprised that it was so. The sight brought a prayer from my heart: it was the voice of weakness and humanity! My confusion began to calm into thought; I had time to process!
I turned with the last farewell upon my lips, when I observed old Edwards standing behind me. I looked him full in the face; but his eye was fixed on another object: he pressed between me and the bed, and stood gazing on the breathless remains of his benefactor. I spoke to him I know not what; but he took no notice of what I said, and remained in the same attitude as before. He stood some minutes in that posture, then turned and walked towards the door. He paused as he went;—he returned a second time: I could observe his lips move as he looked: but the voice they would have uttered was lost. He attempted going again; and a third time he returned as before.—I saw him wipe his p. 190cheek: then covering his face with his hands, his breast heaving with the most convulsive throbs, he flung out of the room.
I turned for one last goodbye, when I noticed old Edwards standing behind me. I looked him straight in the face, but his gaze was fixed on something else: he squeezed between me and the bed, staring at the lifeless body of his benefactor. I spoke to him, though I’m not sure what I said, but he didn’t respond and stayed in the same position as before. He stood like that for a few minutes, then turned and walked toward the door. He paused as he left; he came back a second time: I could see his lips moving as he looked, but the words he wanted to say were lost. He tried to leave again, and came back a third time as before. I saw him wipe his p. 190cheek; then, covering his face with his hands, his chest heaving with deep, convulsive breaths, he rushed out of the room.
THE CONCLUSION.
He had hinted that he should like to be buried in a certain spot near the grave of his mother. This is a weakness; but it is universally incident to humanity: ’tis at least a memorial for those who survive: for some indeed a slender memorial will serve;—and the soft affections, when they are busy that way, will build their structures, were it but on the paring of a nail.
He had suggested that he would like to be buried in a particular place near his mother’s grave. This is a weakness, but it’s something everyone experiences: at least it serves as a reminder for those left behind; for some, even a small reminder is enough; and the gentle feelings, when focused in that direction, will create their memorials, even if it’s just on a fingernail clipping.
He was buried in the place he had desired. It was shaded by an old tree, the only one in the church-yard, in which was a cavity worn by time. I have sat with him in it, and counted the tombs. The last time we passed there, methought he looked wistfully on the tree: there was a branch of it that bent towards us waving in the wind; he waved his hand as if he mimicked its motion. There was something predictive in his look! perhaps it is p. 191foolish to remark it; but there are times and places when I am a child at those things.
He was buried exactly where he wanted to be. It was under the shade of an old tree, the only one in the cemetery, with a hollow worn away by time. I’ve sat with him there and counted the tombstones. The last time we were there, I thought he looked longingly at the tree; one of its branches swayed towards us in the wind, and he waved his hand as if he were copying its movement. There was something almost prophetic in his expression! Maybe it's p. 191foolish to say that; but there are moments and places when I feel like a child about these things.
I sometimes visit his grave; I sit in the hollow of the tree. It is worth a thousand homilies; every noble feeling rises within me! every beat of my heart awakens a virtue!—but it will make you hate the world—No: there is such an air of gentleness around, that I can hate nothing; but, as to the world—I pity the men of it.
I sometimes go to his grave and sit in the hollow of the tree. It means more than a thousand sermons; every noble feeling stirs within me! Every heartbeat brings a new virtue alive!—but it might make you resent the world—No: there's such a gentle vibe here that I can’t hate anything; instead, I feel sorry for the people in it.
FOOTNOTES
[15] The reader will remember that the Editor is accountable only for scattered chapters and fragments of chapters; the curate must answer for the rest. The number at the top, when the chapter was entire, he has given as it originally stood, with the title which its author had affixed to it.
[15] The reader should recall that the Editor is responsible only for a few chapters and parts of chapters; the curate is responsible for the rest. The number at the top, when the chapter was complete, has been provided as it was originally written, along with the title that the author attached to it.
[61] Though the Curate could not remember having shown this chapter to anybody, I strongly suspect that these political observations are the work of a later pen than the rest of this performance. There seems to have been, by some accident, a gap in the manuscript, from the words, “Expectation at a jointure,” to these, “In short, man is an animal,” where the present blank ends; and some other person (for the hand is different, and the ink whiter) has filled part of it with sentiments of his own. Whoever he was, he seems to have caught some portion of the spirit of the man he personates.
[61] Though the Curate can’t recall sharing this chapter with anyone, I have a strong feeling that these political remarks were added by someone else later on. There seems to be an accidental gap in the manuscript, from the phrase, “Expectation at a jointure,” to “In short, man is an animal,” where the current blank starts; and someone else (since the handwriting is different, and the ink is lighter) has filled some of it with their own thoughts. Whoever they were, they seem to have captured some of the essence of the person they’re imitating.
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