This is a modern-English version of Search the Sky, originally written by Pohl, Frederik, Kornbluth, C. M. (Cyril M.).
It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling,
and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.
Scroll to the bottom of this page and you will find a free ePUB download link for this book.

SEARCH THE
SKY
..... 1
DECAY.
Decay.
Ross stood on the traders’ ramp, overlooking the Yards, and the word kept bobbing to the top of his mind.
Ross stood on the traders’ ramp, overlooking the Yards, and the word kept surfacing in his mind.
Decay.
Decay.
About all of Halsey’s Planet there was the imperceptible reek of decay. The clean, big, bustling, efficient spaceport only made the sensation stronger. From where he stood on the height of the Ramp, he could see the Yards, the spires of Halsey City ten kilometers away—and the tumble-down gray acres of Ghost Town between.
About all of Halsey’s Planet there was the imperceptible reek of decay. The clean, big, bustling, efficient spaceport only made the sensation stronger. From where he stood on the height of the Ramp, he could see the Yards, the spires of Halsey City ten kilometers away—and the tumble-down gray acres of Ghost Town between.
Ross wrinkled his nose. He wasn’t a man given to brooding, but the scent of decay had saturated his nostrils that morning. He had tossed and turned all the night, wrestling with a decision. And he had got up early, so early that the only thing that made sense was to walk to work.
Ross wrinkled his nose. He wasn’t someone who usually brooded, but the smell of decay had filled his nostrils that morning. He had tossed and turned all night, struggling with a decision. And he had gotten up early, so early that the only option that made sense was to walk to work.
And that meant walking through Ghost Town. He hadn’t done that in a long time, not since childhood. Ghost Town was a wonderful place to play. “Tag,” “Follow My Fuehrer,” “Senators and President”—all the ancient games took on new life when you could dodge and turn among crumbling ruins, dart down unmarked lanes, gallop through sagging shacks where you might stir out a screeching, unexpected recluse.
And that meant walking through Ghost Town. He hadn’t done that in a long time, not since he was a kid. Ghost Town was an amazing place to play. “Tag,” “Follow My Leader,” “Senators and President”—all the old games felt fresh when you could dodge and weave among crumbling ruins, zip down hidden paths, and race through sagging shacks where you might unexpectedly disturb a screeching recluse.
But it was clear that—in the fifteen years between childhood games and a troubled man’s walk to work—Ghost Town had grown.
But it was clear that—in the fifteen years between childhood games and a troubled man's commute—Ghost Town had expanded.
2Everybody knew that! Ask the right specialists, and they’d tell you how much and how fast. An acre a year, a street a month, a block a week, the specialists would twinkle at you, convinced that the acre, street, block was under control, since they could measure it.
2Everyone knew that! Ask the right experts, and they’d tell you how much and how quickly. An acre a year, a street a month, a block a week, the experts would smile at you, confident that the acre, street, block was manageable because they could measure it.
Ask the right specialists and they would tell you why it was happening. One answer per specialist, with an ironclad guarantee that there would be no overlapping of replies. “A purely psychological phenomenon, Mr. Ross. A vibration of the pendulum toward greater municipal compactness, a huddling, a mature recognition of the facts of interdependence, basically a step forward....”
Ask the right specialists and they would explain why it was happening. One answer from each specialist, with a firm guarantee that there wouldn’t be any overlap in their responses. “It’s purely a psychological phenomenon, Mr. Ross. A shift toward greater local unity, a coming together, a mature acknowledgment of our interdependence—basically, it’s a step forward....”
“A purely biological phenomenon, Mr. Ross. Falling birth rate due to biochemical deficiency of trace elements processed out of our planetary diet. Fortunately the situation has been recognized in time and my bill before the Chamber will provide....”
“A purely biological issue, Mr. Ross. The declining birth rate is due to a biochemical deficiency of trace elements that have been stripped from our planetary diet. Fortunately, the situation has been recognized in time, and my bill before the Chamber will provide....”
“A purely technological problem, Mr. Ross. Maintenance of a sprawling city is inevitably less efficient than that of a compact unit. Inevitably there has been a drift back to the central areas and the convenience of air-conditioned walkways, winterized plazas....”
“A purely technological issue, Mr. Ross. Taking care of a sprawling city is naturally less efficient than maintaining a compact area. There’s been a natural return to the central zones and the ease of air-conditioned walkways, winterized plazas....”
Yes. It was a purely psychological-biological-technological-educational-demographic problem, and it was basically a step forward.
Yes. It was a completely psychological, biological, technological, educational, and demographic issue, and it was essentially a step forward.
Ross wondered how many Ghost Towns lay corpselike on the surface of Halsey’s Planet. Decay, he thought. Decay.
Ross wondered how many Ghost Towns lay lifeless on the surface of Halsey’s Planet. Decay, he thought. Decay.
But it had nothing to do with his problem, the problem that had kept him awake all the night, the problem that blighted the view before him now.
But it had nothing to do with his issue, the issue that had kept him up all night, the issue that ruined the view in front of him now.
The trading bell clanged. The day’s work began.
The trading bell rang. The day’s work started.
For Ross it might be his last day’s work at the Yards.
For Ross, it could be his last day working at the Yards.
He walked slowly from the ramp to the offices of the Oldham Trading Corporation. “Morning, Ross boy,” his breezy young boss greeted him. Charles Oldham IV’s father had always taken a paternal attitude toward his help, and Charles Oldham IV was not going to change anything that 3Daddy had done. He shook Ross’s hand at the door of the suite and apologized because they hadn’t been able to find a new secretary for him yet. They’d been looking for two weeks, but the three applicants they had been able to dredge up had all been hopeless. “It’s the damn Chamber,” said Charles Oldham IV, winsomely gesturing with his hands to show how helpless men of affairs were against the blundering interference of Government. “Damn labor shortage is nothing but a damn artificial scarcity crisis. Daddy saw it; he knew it was coming.”
He walked slowly from the ramp to the offices of the Oldham Trading Corporation. “Morning, Ross,” his cheerful young boss greeted him. Charles Oldham IV’s father had always taken a fatherly approach towards his employees, and Charles Oldham IV wasn’t going to change anything that Dad had done. He shook Ross’s hand at the door of the suite and apologized for not being able to find a new secretary for him yet. They’d been searching for two weeks, but the three applicants they managed to find were all terrible. “It’s the damn Chamber,” said Charles Oldham IV, gesturing with his hands to illustrate how helpless business people were against the clumsy interference of the Government. “This damn labor shortage is just a damn artificial scarcity crisis. Dad saw it; he knew it was coming.”
Ross almost told him he was quitting, but held back. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to spoil Oldham’s day with bad news, right on top of the opening bell. Or maybe it was because, in spite of a sleepless night, he still wasn’t quite sure.
Ross almost told him he was quitting, but held back. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to ruin Oldham’s day with bad news, right before the opening bell. Or maybe it was because, despite a sleepless night, he still wasn’t quite sure.
The morning’s work helped him to become sure. It was the same monotonous grind.
The morning’s work made him feel more confident. It was the same boring routine.
Three freighters had arrived at dawn from Halsey’s third moon, but none of them was any affair of his. There was an export shipment of jewelry and watches to be attended to, but the ship was not to take off for another week. It scarcely classified as urgent. Ross worked on the manifests for a couple of hours, stared through his window for an hour, and then it was time for lunch.
Three freighters had arrived at dawn from Halsey’s third moon, but none of them were his concern. There was an export shipment of jewelry and watches to handle, but the ship wasn't scheduled to leave for another week. It barely qualified as urgent. Ross worked on the manifests for a couple of hours, stared out his window for an hour, and then it was time for lunch.
Little Marconi hailed him as he passed through the traders’ lounge.
Little Marconi called out to him as he walked through the traders’ lounge.
Of all the juniors on the Exchange, Marconi was the one Ross found easiest to take. He was lean and dark where Ross was solid and fair; worse, he stood four ranks above Ross in seniority. But, since Ross worked for Oldham, and Marconi worked for Haarland’s, the difference could be waived in social intercourse.
Of all the juniors on the Exchange, Marconi was the one Ross found easiest to get along with. He was lean and dark, while Ross was solid and fair; even worse, he was four ranks above Ross in seniority. However, because Ross worked for Oldham and Marconi worked for Haarland's, the difference could be overlooked in social situations.
Ross suspected that, to Marconi as to him, trading was only a job—a dull one, and not a crusade. And he knew that Marconi’s reading was not confined to bills of lading. “Lunch?” asked Marconi. “Sure,” Ross said. And he knew he’d probably spill his secret to the little man from Haarland’s.
Ross thought that, like him, Marconi saw trading as just a job—a boring one, not a mission. He realized that Marconi read more than just bills of lading. “Lunch?” Marconi asked. “Sure,” Ross replied. And he knew he’d probably let his secret slip to the little guy from Haarland’s.
The skyroom was crowded—comparatively. All eight of the usual tables were taken; they pushed on into the roped-off 4area by the windows and found a table overlooking the Yards. Marconi blew dust off his chair. “Been a long time since this was used,” he grumbled. “Drink?” He raised his eyebrows when Ross nodded. It made a break; Marconi was the one usually who had a drink with lunch, Ross never touched it.
The skyroom was packed—relatively speaking. All eight of the usual tables were occupied; they pressed into the roped-off 4area by the windows and found a table that looked out over the Yards. Marconi blew dust off his chair. “It’s been ages since this place was used,” he grumbled. “Want a drink?” He raised his eyebrows when Ross nodded. That was unusual; Marconi typically had a drink with lunch, while Ross never had any.
When the drinks came, each of them said to the other in perfect synchronism: “I’ve got something to tell you.”
When the drinks arrived, they both said to each other in perfect sync: “I’ve got something to tell you.”
They looked startled—then laughed. “Go ahead,” said Ross.
They looked shocked—then laughed. “Go ahead,” Ross said.
The little man didn’t even argue. Rapturously he drew a photo out of his pocket.
The little man didn’t even argue. Excitedly, he pulled out a photo from his pocket.
God, thought Ross wearily, Lurline again! He studied the picture with a show of interest. “New snap?” he asked brightly. “Lovely girl——” Then he noticed the inscription: To my fiance, with crates of love. “Well!” he said, “Fiance, is it? Congratulations, Marconi!”
God, Ross thought tiredly, Lurline again! He looked at the picture with a pretense of interest. “New photo?” he asked cheerfully. “Beautiful girl—” Then he saw the inscription: To my fiancé, with crates of love. “Well!” he said, “Fiancé, huh? Congrats, Marconi!”
Marconi was almost drooling on the photo. “Next month,” he said happily. “A big, big wedding. For keeps, Ross—for keeps. With children!”
Marconi was practically drooling over the photo. “Next month,” he said happily. “A huge, huge wedding. For real, Ross—for real. With kids!”
Ross made an expression of polite surprise. “You don’t say!” he said.
Ross raised his eyebrows in polite surprise. “No way!” he replied.
“It’s all down in black and white! She agrees to have two children in the first five years—no permissive clause, a straight guarantee. Fifteen hundred annual allowance per child. And, Ross, do you know what? Her lawyer told her right in front of me that she ought to ask for three thousand, and she told him, ‘No, Mr. Turek. I happen to be in love.’ How do you like that, Ross?”
“It’s all in writing! She agrees to have two kids in the first five years—no loopholes, a solid guarantee. Fifteen hundred annual allowance per child. And, Ross, guess what? Her lawyer told her right in front of me that she should ask for three thousand, and she said, ‘No, Mr. Turek. I happen to be in love.’ What do you think of that, Ross?”
“A girl in a million,” Ross said feebly. His private thoughts were that Marconi had been gaffed and netted like a sugar perch. Lurline was of the Old Landowners, who didn’t own anything much but land these days, and Marconi was an undersized nobody who happened to make a very good living. Sure she happened to be in love. Smartest thing she could be. Of course, promising to have children sounded pretty special; but the papers were full of those things every day. Marconi could reliably be counted on to hang himself. He’d promise her breakfast in bed every third week end, or the maid that he couldn’t possibly find 5on the labor market, and the courts would throw all the promises on both sides out of the contract as a matter of simple equity. But the marriage would stick, all right.
“A girl in a million,” Ross said weakly. His private thoughts were that Marconi had been caught and trapped like a fish. Lurline came from the Old Landowners, who didn’t own much besides land these days, and Marconi was a small-time nobody who happened to earn a decent living. Sure, she was in love. Smartest thing she could do. Of course, promising to have kids sounded pretty special, but the papers were full of those kinds of stories every day. Marconi could always be counted on to mess things up. He’d promise her breakfast in bed every third weekend, or the maid he couldn’t possibly find on the job market, and the courts would dismiss all the promises from both sides as a matter of basic fairness. But the marriage would stick, for sure.
Marconi had himself a final moist, fatuous sigh and returned the photo to his pocket. “And now,” he asked brightly, craning his neck for the waiter, “what’s your news?”
Marconi let out one last, silly sigh and put the photo back in his pocket. “So,” he asked cheerfully, stretching his neck to look for the waiter, “what’s new?”
Ross sipped his drink, staring out at the nuzzling freighters in their hemispherical slips. He said abruptly, “I might be on one of those next week. Fallon’s got a purser’s berth open.”
Ross took a sip of his drink, looking out at the freighters nestled in their rounded docks. He said suddenly, “I might be on one of those next week. Fallon has a purser’s position available.”
Marconi forgot the waiter and gaped. “Quitting?”
Marconi forgot about the waiter and stared in disbelief. “Leaving?”
“I’ve got to do something!” Ross exploded. His own voice scared him; there was a knife blade of hysteria in the sound of it. He gripped the edge of the table and forced himself to be calm and deliberate.
“I’ve got to do something!” Ross yelled. His own voice startled him; there was a sharp edge of panic in it. He clutched the edge of the table and made himself stay calm and composed.
Marconi said tardily, “Easy, Ross.”
Marconi said slowly, “Easy, Ross.”
“Easy! You’ve said it, Marconi: ‘Easy.’ Everything’s so damned easy and so damned boring that I’m just about ready to blow! I’ve got to do something,” he repeated. “I’m getting nowhere! I push papers around and then I push them back again. You know what happens next. You get soft and paunchy. You find yourself going by the book instead of by your head. You’re covered, if you go by the book—no matter what happens. And you might just as well be dead!”
“Easy! You’ve said it, Marconi: ‘Easy.’ Everything’s so freaking easy and so freaking boring that I’m about to explode! I’ve got to do something,” he repeated. “I’m getting nowhere! I shuffle papers around and then I shuffle them back again. You know what comes next. You get lazy and out of shape. You start playing it safe instead of thinking for yourself. You’re protected if you play it safe—no matter what happens. And you might as well be dead!”
“Now, Ross——”
“Now, Ross—”
“Now, hell!” Ross flared. “Marconi, I swear I think there’s something wrong with me! Look, take Ghost Town for instance. Ever wonder why nobody lives there, except a couple of crazy old hermits?”
“Now, seriously!” Ross said angrily. “Marconi, I honestly think there's something off about me! Look at Ghost Town, for example. Ever thought about why no one lives there, except for a couple of eccentric old recluses?”
“Why, it’s Ghost Town,” Marconi explained. “It’s deserted.”
“It's Ghost Town,” Marconi explained. “It's empty.”
“And why is it deserted? What happened to the people who used to live there?”
“And why is it empty? What happened to the people who used to live there?”
Marconi shook his head. “You need a vacation, son,” he said sympathetically. “That was a long time ago. Hundreds of years, maybe.”
Marconi shook his head. “You need a break, kid,” he said with sympathy. “That was ages ago. Hundreds of years, probably.”
“But where did the people go?” Ross persisted desperately. 6“All of the city was inhabited hundreds of years ago—the city was twice as big as it is now. How come?”
“But where did the people go?” Ross kept asking urgently. 6“The entire city was full of people hundreds of years ago—the city was twice as big as it is now. Why is that?”
Marconi shrugged. “Dunno.”
Marconi shrugged. "I don't know."
Ross collapsed. “Don’t know. You don’t know, I don’t know, nobody knows. Only thing is, I care! I’m curious. Marconi, I get—well, moody. Depressed. I get to worrying about crazy things. Ghost Town, for one. And why can’t they find a secretary for me? And am I really different from everybody else or do I just think so—and doesn’t that mean that I’m insane?”
Ross fell down. “I don’t know. You don’t know, I don’t know, nobody knows. The only thing is, I care! I’m curious. Marconi, I get—well, moody. Depressed. I start worrying about weird things. Ghost Town, for one. And why can’t they find me a secretary? And am I really different from everyone else or do I just think so—and doesn’t that mean I’m insane?”
He laughed. Marconi said warmly, “Ross, you aren’t the only one; don’t ever think you are. I went through it myself. Found the answer, too. You wait, Ross.”
He laughed. Marconi said warmly, “Ross, you’re not alone; don’t ever think you are. I’ve been through it too. I found the answer as well. Just wait, Ross.”
He paused. Ross said suspiciously, “Yeah?”
He stopped for a moment. Ross asked suspiciously, “Yeah?”
Marconi tapped the breast pocket with the photo of Lurline. “She’ll come along,” he said.
Marconi tapped the breast pocket where the photo of Lurline was. “She’ll be here,” he said.
Ross managed not to sneer in his face. “No,” he said wearily. “Look, I don’t advertise it, but I was married once. I was eighteen, it lasted for a year and I’m the one who walked out. Flat-fee settlement; it took me five years to pay off the loan, but I never regretted it.”
Ross managed to keep a straight face. “No,” he said tiredly. “Honestly, I don’t talk about it much, but I was married once. I was eighteen, it lasted a year, and I was the one who left. It was a flat-fee settlement; it took me five years to pay off the loan, but I never regretted it.”
Marconi began gravely, “Sexual incompatibility——”
Marconi began seriously, “Sexual incompatibility——”
Ross cut him off with an impatient gesture. “In that department,” he said, “it so happens she was a genius. But——”
Ross interrupted him with an impatient wave. “In that area,” he said, “she was actually a genius. But——”
“But?”
"But why?"
Ross shrugged. “I must have been crazy,” he said shortly. “I kept thinking that she was half-dead, dying on the vine like the rest of Halsey’s Planet. And I must still be crazy, because I still think so.”
Ross shrugged. “I must have been insane,” he said briefly. “I kept imagining that she was barely alive, withering away like the rest of Halsey’s Planet. And I guess I’m still crazy, because I still believe that.”
The little man involuntarily felt his breast pocket. He said gently, “Maybe you’ve been working too hard.”
The little man unconsciously checked his breast pocket. He said softly, “Maybe you’ve been working too hard.”
“Too hard!” Ross laughed, a curious blend of true humor and self-disgust. “Well,” he admitted, “I need a change, anyhow. I might as well be on a longliner. At least I’d have my spree to look back on.”
“Too hard!” Ross laughed, a strange mix of genuine humor and self-loathing. “Well,” he admitted, “I need a change anyway. I might as well be on a longliner. At least I’d have my adventures to look back on.”
“No!” Marconi said, so violently that Ross slopped the drink he was lifting to his mouth.
“No!” Marconi shouted, so forcefully that Ross spilled the drink he was bringing to his lips.
Ross looked hard at the little man—hard and speculatively. 7“No, then,” he said. “It was just a figure of speech, of course. But tell me something, won’t you, Marconi?”
Ross stared intently at the little man—intensely and thoughtfully. 7“No, then,” he said. “That was just a figure of speech, obviously. But can you tell me something, Marconi?”
“Tell you what?”
"What's your point?"
“Tell me why such a violent reaction to the word ‘longliner.’ I want to know.”
“Tell me why there's such a strong reaction to the word ‘longliner.’ I want to know.”
“Hell, Ross,” the little man grumbled, “you know what a longliner is. Gutter-scrapings for crews; nothing for a man like you.”
“Come on, Ross,” the little man complained, “you know what a longliner is. It’s just bottom-of-the-barrel stuff for crews; not a good fit for someone like you.”
“I want to know more,” Ross insisted. “When I ask you what a longliner is, what the crew do with themselves for two or three centuries, you change the subject. You always change the subject! Maybe you know something I don’t know. I want to know what it is, and this time the subject doesn’t get changed. You don’t get off the hook until I find out.” He took a sip of his drink and leaned back. “Tell me about longliners,” he said. “I’ve never seen one coming in; it’s been fifteen years or so since that bucket from Sirius IV, hasn’t it? But you were on the job then.”
“I want to know more,” Ross insisted. “When I ask you what a longliner is and what the crew does for two or three centuries, you always switch the topic. You always switch the topic! Maybe you know something I don’t. I want to find out what it is, and this time we’re not changing the subject. You’re not getting off the hook until I know.” He took a sip of his drink and leaned back. “Tell me about longliners,” he said. “I’ve never seen one come in; it’s been about fifteen years since that bucket from Sirius IV, right? But you were working then.”
Marconi was no longer a man in love or one of the few people whom Ross considered to be wholly alive—like him. He was a hard-eyed little stranger with a stubborn mouth and an ingratiating veneer. In short he was again a trader, and a good one.
Marconi was no longer a man in love or one of the few people Ross saw as truly alive—like himself. He was a hard-eyed little stranger with a stubborn mouth and a charming facade. In short, he was once again a trader, and a skilled one at that.
“I’ll tell you anything I know,” Marconi declared positively, and insincerely. “Tend to that fellow first though, will you?” He pointed to a uniformed Yards messenger whose eye had just alighted on Ross. The man threaded his way, stumbling, through the tables and laid a sealed envelope down in the puddle left by Ross’s drink.
“I’ll tell you everything I know,” Marconi said confidently, though he didn’t mean it. “But first, take care of that guy, okay?” He pointed to a uniformed Yards messenger whose gaze had just landed on Ross. The man made his way, tripping a bit, through the tables and dropped a sealed envelope into the puddle left by Ross’s drink.
“Sorry, sir,” he said crisply, wiped off the envelope with his handkerchief and, for lagniappe, wiped the puddle off the table into Ross’s lap.
“Sorry, sir,” he said sharply, wiped the envelope with his handkerchief, and, just for good measure, wiped the puddle off the table into Ross’s lap.
Speechless, Ross signed for the envelope on a red-tabbed slip marked URGENT * PRIORITY * RUSH. The messenger saluted, almost putting his own eye out, and left, crashing into tables and chairs.
Speechless, Ross signed for the envelope on a red-tabbed slip marked URGENT * PRIORITY * RUSH. The messenger saluted, nearly poking his own eye out, and left, bumping into tables and chairs.
“Half-dead,” Ross muttered, following him with his eyes. “How the devil do they stay alive at all?”
“Half-dead,” Ross muttered, watching him closely. “How on earth do they even stay alive?”
Marconi said, unsmiling, “You’re taking this kick pretty seriously, Ross. I admit he’s a little clumsy, but——”
Marconi said, straight-faced, “You’re really taking this kick seriously, Ross. I get that he’s a bit awkward, but——”
8“But nothing,” said Ross. “Don’t try to tell me you don’t know something’s wrong, Marconi! He’s a bumbling incompetent, and half his generation is just like him.” He looked bitterly at the envelope and dropped it on the table again. “More manifests,” he said. “I swear I’ll start throwing tableware if I have to check another bill of lading. Brighten my day, Marconi; tell me about the longliners. You’re not off the hook yet, you know.”
8“But come on,” said Ross. “Don’t try to tell me you don’t know something’s up, Marconi! He’s a clueless idiot, and half his generation is just like him.” He glared at the envelope and tossed it back on the table. “More manifests,” he said. “I swear I’ll start throwing dishes if I have to go through another bill of lading. Make my day better, Marconi; tell me about the longliners. You’re not off the hook yet, you know.”
Marconi signaled for another drink. “All right,” he said. “Marconi tells all about longliners. They’re ships. They go from the planet of one star to the planet of another star. It takes a long time, because stars are many light-years apart and rocket ships cannot travel as fast as light. Einstein said so—whoever he was. Do we start with the Sirius IV ship? I was around when it came in, all right. Fifteen years ago, and Halsey’s Planet is still enjoying the benefits of it. And so is Leverett and Sons Trading Corporation. They did fine on flowers from seeds that bucket brought, they did fine on sugar perch from eggs that bucket brought. I’ve never had it myself. Raw fish for dessert! But some people swear by it—at five shields a portion. They can have it.”
Marconi signaled for another drink. “Okay,” he said. “Marconi talks all about longliners. They’re ships that travel from one star to another. It takes a long time because stars are years apart, and rocket ships can’t go as fast as light. Einstein said that—whoever he was. Do we start with the Sirius IV ship? I was there when it arrived, for sure. Fifteen years ago, and Halsey’s Planet is still reaping the benefits. So is Leverett and Sons Trading Corporation. They did great with flowers from the seeds that ship brought, and they did well with sugar perch from the eggs it brought too. I’ve never tried it myself. Raw fish for dessert! But some people swear by it—charging five shields a portion. They can enjoy it.”
“The hook, Marconi,” Ross reminded grimly.
“The hook, Marconi,” Ross reminded him grimly.
Trader Marconi laughed amiably. “Sorry. Well, what else? Pictures and music, but I’m not much on them. I do read, though, and as a reader I say, God bless that bucket from Sirius IV. We never had a novelist like Morris Halliday on this planet—or an essayist like Jay Waring. Let’s see, there have been eight Halliday novels off the microfilms so far, and I think Leverett still has a couple in the vaults. Leverett must be——”
Trader Marconi laughed good-naturedly. “Sorry. So, what else? Pictures and music, but I’m not really into those. I do read, though, and as a reader, I say, thank goodness for that bucket from Sirius IV. We’ve never had a novelist like Morris Halliday on this planet—or an essayist like Jay Waring. Let’s see, there have been eight Halliday novels off the microfilms so far, and I think Leverett still has a couple in the vaults. Leverett must be——”
“Marconi. I don’t want to hear about Leverett and Sons. Or Morris Halliday, or Waring. I want to hear about longliners.”
“Marconi. I don’t want to hear about Leverett and Sons. Or Morris Halliday, or Waring. I want to hear about longliners.”
“I’m trying to tell you,” Marconi said sullenly, the mask down.
“I’m trying to tell you,” Marconi said quietly, the mask down.
“No, you’re not. You’re telling me that the longline ships go from one stellar system to another with merchandise. I know that.”
“No, you’re not. You're saying that the longline ships travel from one star system to another with goods. I know that.”
“Then what do you want?”
"Then, what do you want?"
“Don’t be difficult, Marconi. I want to know the facts. 9All about longliners. The big hush-hush. The candid explanations that explain nothing—except that a starship is a starship. I know that they’re closed-system, multigeneration jobs; a group of people get in on Sirius IV and their great-great-great-great-grandchildren come giggling and stumbling out on Halsey’s Planet. I know that every couple of generations your firm—and mine, for that matter—builds one with profits that would be taxed off anyway and slings it out, stocked with seeds and film and sound tape and patent designs and manufacturing specifications for every new gimmick on the market, in the hope that it’ll be back long after we’re dead with a similar cargo to enrich your firm’s and my firm’s then-current owners. Sounds silly—but, as I say, it’s tax money anyhow. I know that your firm and mine staff the ships with half a dozen bums of each sex, who are loaded aboard with a dandy case of delirium tremens, contracted from spending their bounty money the only way they know how. And that’s just about all I know. Take it from there, Marconi. And be specific.”
“Don’t be difficult, Marconi. I want to know the facts. 9All about longliners. The big secret. The straightforward explanations that say nothing—except that a starship is a starship. I know they’re closed-system, multigeneration jobs; a group of people get on board in Sirius IV and their great-great-great-great-grandchildren come out giggling and stumbling on Halsey’s Planet. I know that every few generations your company—and mine, for that matter—builds one with profits that would be taxed off anyway and sends it out, loaded with seeds, films, sound tapes, and patent designs and manufacturing specs for every new gadget on the market, hoping it’ll return long after we’re dead with a similar cargo to benefit your company’s and my company’s then-current owners. Sounds silly—but, as I said, it’s tax money anyway. I know that your company and mine staff the ships with a few drifters of each sex, who are loaded on with a nice case of delirium tremens that they get from spending their bounty money the only way they know how. And that’s about all I know. Take it from there, Marconi. And be specific.”
The little man shrugged irritably. “That gag’s beginning to wear thin, Ross,” he complained. “What do you want me to tell you—the number of welds in Bulkhead 47 of ‘Starship 74’? What’s the difference? As you said, a starship is a starship is a longliner. Without them the inhabited solar systems would have no means of contact or commerce. What else is there to say?”
The little man shrugged in annoyance. “That joke is getting old, Ross,” he said. “What do you want me to say—the number of welds in Bulkhead 47 of ‘Starship 74’? What’s the point? Like you said, a starship is just a starship, just a longliner. Without them, the inhabited solar systems wouldn’t have any way to connect or trade. What more is there to say?”
Ross looked suddenly lost. “I—don’t know,” he said. “Don’t you know, Marconi?”
Ross looked suddenly confused. “I—I don’t know,” he said. “Don’t you know, Marconi?”
Marconi hesitated, and for a moment Ross was sure he did know—knew something, at any rate, something that might be an answer to the doubts and nagging inconsistencies that were bothering him. But then Marconi shrugged and looked at his watch and ordered another drink.
Marconi paused, and for a moment, Ross was convinced he had some insight—something that could address the doubts and nagging inconsistencies that were troubling him. But then Marconi shrugged, glanced at his watch, and ordered another drink.
But there was something wrong. Ross felt himself in the position of a diagnostician whose patient willfully refuses to tell where it hurts. The planet was sick—but wouldn’t admit it. Sick? Dying! Maybe he was on the wrong track entirely. Maybe the starships had nothing to do with it. Maybe there was nothing that Marconi knew that would fit a piece into the puzzle and make the answer come out all 10clear—but Ghost Town continued to grow acre by acre, year by year. And Oldham still hadn’t found him a secretary capable of writing her own name.
But something felt off. Ross found himself in the position of a doctor whose patient stubbornly refuses to say where it hurts. The planet was unwell—but wouldn’t admit it. Unwell? Dying! Maybe he was completely off course. Maybe the starships had nothing to do with it. Maybe there was nothing Marconi could reveal that would piece together the puzzle and clarify everything. But Ghost Town kept expanding acre by acre, year by year. And Oldham still hadn’t found him a secretary who could even write her own name. 10
“According to the historians, everything fits nicely into place,” Ross said, dubiously. “They say we came here ourselves in longliners once, Marconi. Our ancestors under some man named Halsey colonized this place, fourteen hundred years ago. According to the longliners that come in from other stars, their ancestors colonized wherever they came from in starships from a place called Earth. Where is this Earth, Marconi?”
“According to the historians, everything lines up perfectly,” Ross said skeptically. “They claim we arrived here ourselves in longliners once, Marconi. Our ancestors, under a guy named Halsey, settled this place fourteen hundred years ago. According to the longliners coming in from other stars, their ancestors colonized wherever they came from in starships from a place called Earth. Where is this Earth, Marconi?”
Marconi said succinctly, “Look in the star charts. It’s there.”
Marconi said clearly, “Check the star charts. It's there.”
“Yes, but——”
"Yeah, but——"
“But, hell,” Marconi said in annoyance. “What in the world has got into you, Ross? Earth is a planet like any other planet. The starship Halsey colonized in was a starship like any other starship—only bigger. I guess, that is—I wasn’t there. After all, what are the longliners but colonists? They happen to be going to planets that are already inhabited, that’s all. So a starship is nothing new or even very interesting, and this is beginning to bore me, and you ought to read your urgent-priority-rush message.”
“But, seriously,” Marconi said, clearly annoyed. “What on earth is going on with you, Ross? Earth is just a planet like any other. The starship that Halsey colonized was just a starship—only larger. I mean, I wasn’t there. After all, what are the longliners if not colonists? They’re just heading to planets that are already inhabited, that’s all. So a starship isn’t anything new or even that interesting, and I’m starting to get bored with this, and you really should read your urgent-priority-rush message.”
Ross felt repentant—knowing that that was just how Trader Marconi wanted him to feel. He said slowly, “I’m sorry if I’m being a nuisance, Marconi. You know how it is when you feel stale and restless. I know all the stories—but it’s so damned hard to believe them. The famous colonizing ships. They must have been absolutely gigantic to take any reasonable number of people on a closed-circuit, multigeneration ride. We can’t build them that big now!”
Ross felt guilty—understanding that this was exactly how Trader Marconi wanted him to feel. He said slowly, “I’m sorry if I’m being a bother, Marconi. You know how it is when you feel stuck and restless. I know all the stories—but it’s so hard to believe them. The famous colonizing ships. They must have been huge to carry any decent number of people on a closed-circuit, multigeneration trip. We can't build them that big now!”
“No reason to.”
"Not necessary."
“But we couldn’t if we had to. Imagine shooting those things all over the Galaxy. How many inhabited planets in the charts—five hundred? A thousand? Think of the technology, Marconi. What became of it?”
“But we couldn’t even if we had to. Just think about shooting those things all over the Galaxy. How many inhabited planets are there in the charts—five hundred? A thousand? Consider the technology, Marconi. What happened to it?”
“We don’t need that sort of technology any more,” Marconi explained. “That job is done. Now we concentrate on more important things. Learning to live with each other. 11Developing our own planet. Increasing our understanding of social factors and demographic——”
“We don’t need that kind of technology anymore,” Marconi explained. “That job is finished. Now we focus on more important things. Learning to coexist. 11Developing our own planet. Increasing our understanding of social factors and demographics——”
Ross was laughing at last. “Well, Marconi,” he said at last, “that takes care of that! We sure have figured out how to handle the social factors, all right. Every year there are fewer of them to handle. Pretty soon we’ll all be dead, and then the problem can be marked ‘solved.’”
Ross was finally laughing. “Well, Marconi,” he said, “that settles it! We’ve really figured out how to deal with the social issues, for sure. Every year, there are fewer of them to deal with. Pretty soon we’ll all be gone, and then the problem can be marked ‘solved.’”
Marconi laughed too—eagerly, as if he’d been waiting for the chance. He said, “Now that that’s settled, are you going to open your message? Are you at least going to have some lunch?”
Marconi laughed, too—excitedly, as if he’d been looking forward to this moment. He said, “Now that that's sorted, are you going to open your message? Are you at least going to grab some lunch?”
The Yards messenger stumbled up to their table again, this time with an envelope for Marconi. He looked sharply at Ross’s unopened envelope and said nothing, pointedly. Ross guiltily picked it up and tore it open. You could act like a sulky child in front of a friend, but strangers didn’t understand.
The Yards messenger awkwardly approached their table once more, this time holding an envelope for Marconi. He glanced pointedly at Ross's unopened envelope but didn't say a word. Feeling guilty, Ross picked it up and tore it open. You could behave like a sulky kid in front of a friend, but strangers wouldn't get it.
The message was from his office. RADAR REPORTS HIGH VELOCITY SPACECRAFT ON AUTOCONTROLS. FIRST APPROXIMATION TRAJECTORY INDICATES INTERSTELLAR ORIGIN. PROBABLE ETA YARDS 1500. NO RADIO MESSAGES RECEIVED. DON’T HAVE TO TELL YOU TO GET ON THIS IMMEDIATELY AND GIVE IT YOUR BEST. OLDHAM.
The message came from his office. RADAR REPORTS HIGH VELOCITY SPACECRAFT ON AUTOCONTROLS. FIRST APPROXIMATION TRAJECTORY INDICATES INTERSTELLAR ORIGIN. PROBABLE ETA YARDS 1500. NO RADIO MESSAGES RECEIVED. DON’T HAVE TO TELL YOU TO GET ON THIS IMMEDIATELY AND GIVE IT YOUR BEST. OLDHAM.
Ross looked at Marconi, whose expression was perturbed. “Bet I know what your message says,” he offered with an uneasy quaver in his voice.
Ross looked at Marconi, whose expression was troubled. “I bet I know what your message says,” he said with a nervous tremble in his voice.
Marconi said: “I’ll bet you do. Oldham’s radar setup on Sunward always has been better than Haarland’s. Better location. Man, you are in trouble! Let’s get out there and hope nobody’s missed you so far.”
Marconi said: “I bet you do. Oldham’s radar setup on Sunward has always been better than Haarland’s. Better location. Man, you’re in trouble! Let’s get out there and hope nobody’s noticed you yet.”
They grabbed sandwiches from the snack bar on the way out and munched them while the Yards jeep took them to the ready line. Skirting the freighters in their pits, slipping past the enormous overhaul sheds, they saw excited debates going on. Twice they were passed by Yards vehicles heading toward the landing area. Halfway to the line they heard the recall sirens warning everybody and everything out of the ten seared acres surrounded by homing and Ground-Controlled 12Approach radars. That was where the big ones were landed.
They grabbed sandwiches from the snack bar on the way out and ate them while the Yards jeep took them to the ready line. They passed by the freighters in their pits and slipped past the huge overhaul sheds, noticing excited discussions happening around them. Twice, they were overtaken by Yards vehicles heading toward the landing area. Halfway to the line, they heard the recall sirens warning everyone and everything out of the ten scorched acres surrounded by homing and Ground-Controlled 12Approach radars. That was where the big ones were landed.
The ready line was jammed when they got there. Ships from one or another of the five moons that circled Halsey’s planet were common; the moons were the mines. Even the weekly liner and freighters from the colony on Sunward, the planet next in from Halsey’s, were routine to the Yards workers. But to anybody an interstellar ship was a sensation, a once-or-twice-in-a-lifetime thrill.
The line was packed when they arrived. Ships from one of the five moons orbiting Halsey’s planet were usual; the moons were the mines. Even the weekly passenger and cargo ships from the colony on Sunward, the planet closest to Halsey’s, were normal for the Yards workers. But to anyone else, an interstellar ship was a big deal, a thrill that happened once or twice in a lifetime.
Protocols were uncertain. Traders argued about the first crack at the strangers and their goods. A dealer named Aalborg said the only fair system would be to give every trade there an equal opportunity to do business—in alphabetical order. Everybody agreed that under no circumstances should the man from Leverett and Sons be allowed to trade—everybody, except the man from Leverett and Sons. He pointed out that his firm was the logical choice because it had more and fresher experience in handling interstellar goods than any other....
Protocols were unclear. Traders debated who should get the first chance at the newcomers and their products. A dealer named Aalborg suggested that the only fair way would be to give every trader there an equal shot at doing business—in alphabetical order. Everyone agreed that, under no circumstances, should the guy from Leverett and Sons be allowed to trade—everyone except the guy from Leverett and Sons. He argued that his company was the most logical option because it had more experience and better knowledge in handling interstellar goods than anyone else....
They almost mobbed him.
They nearly overwhelmed him.
It wasn’t merely money that filled the atmosphere with electric tingles. The glamor of time-travel was on them. The crew aboard that ship were travelers of time as well as space. The crew that had launched the ship was dust. The crew that served it now had never seen a planet.
It wasn't just money that charged the air with excitement. The allure of time travel surrounded them. The people on that ship were explorers of both time and space. The crew who originally launched the ship was long gone. The current crew had never set foot on a planet.
There was even some humility in the crowd. There were thoughtful ones among them who reflected that it was not, after all, a very great feat to hitch a rocket to a shell and lob it across a few million miles to a neighboring planet. It was eclipsed by the tremendous deed whose climax they were about to witness. The thoughtful ones shrugged and sighed as they thought that even the starship booming down toward Halsey’s Planet—fitted with the cleverest air replenishers and the most miraculously efficient waste converters—was only a counter in the game whose great rule was the mass-energy formulation of the legendary Einstein: that there is no way to push a material object past the speed of light.
There was even a touch of humility in the crowd. Some of them realized that it wasn't, after all, such a huge achievement to attach a rocket to a shell and fire it across millions of miles to a nearby planet. It was overshadowed by the incredible event they were about to witness. Those reflective individuals shrugged and sighed, considering that even the starship hurtling toward Halsey’s Planet—equipped with the smartest air replenishment systems and the most efficient waste converters—was just a piece in the puzzle governed by the great principle of mass-energy formulated by the legendary Einstein: that there's no way to push a physical object beyond the speed of light.
A report swept the field that left men reeling in its wake. Radar Track confirmed that the ship was of unfamiliar pattern. 13All hope that it might be a starship launched from this very spot on the last leg of a stupefying round trip was officially dead. The starship was foreign.
A report spread through the area that left people shocked. Radar Track confirmed that the ship had an unusual design. 13All hope that it could be a starship launched from this very place on the final part of an incredible round trip was officially gone. The starship was alien.
“Wonder what they have?” Marconi muttered.
“Wonder what they’ve got?” Marconi muttered.
“Trader!” Ross sneered ponderously. He was feeling better; the weight of depression had been lifted for the time being, either by his confession or the electric atmosphere. If every day were like this, he thought vaguely....
“Trader!” Ross sneered thoughtfully. He felt better; the burden of depression had lifted for now, either from his confession or the charged atmosphere. If every day were like this, he thought vaguely....
“Let’s not kid each other,” Marconi was saying exuberantly. “This is an event, man! Where are they from, what are they peddling? Do I get a good cut at their wares? It could be fifty thousand shields for me in commission alone. Lurline and I could build a tower house on Great Blue Lake with that kind of money, with a whole floor for her parents! Ross, you just don’t know what it is to really be in love. Everything changes.”
“Let’s not kid ourselves,” Marconi was saying excitedly. “This is a big deal, man! Where are they coming from, what are they selling? Do I get a decent cut of their profits? It could mean fifty thousand shields just in commission for me. Lurline and I could build a tower house on Great Blue Lake with that kind of cash, with a whole floor for her parents! Ross, you just don’t understand what it’s like to be truly in love. Everything changes.”
A jeep roared up and slammed to a stop; Ross blinked and yelled: “Here it comes!”
A jeep sped up and came to a sudden stop; Ross blinked and shouted, “Here it comes!”
They watched the ground-controlled approach with the interest of semiprofessionals and concealed their rising excitement with shop talk.
They observed the ground-controlled approach with the curiosity of semi-professionals and masked their growing excitement with technical chatter.
“Whups! There goes the high-power job into action.” Marconi pointed as a huge dish antenna swiveled ponderously on its mast. “Seems the medium-output dishes can’t handle her.”
“Whoops! The high-power job is in action.” Marconi pointed as a massive dish antenna slowly rotated on its mast. “Looks like the medium-output dishes can't keep up with it.”
“Maybe the high-power dish can’t either. She might be just plain shot.”
“Maybe the high-power dish can’t either. It might just be completely broken.”
“Standard, sealed GCA doesn’t get shot, my young friend. Not in a neon-atmosphere tank it doesn’t.”
“Standard, sealed GCA doesn’t get shot, my young friend. Not in a neon-lit tank it doesn’t.”
“Maybe along about the fifth generation they forgot what it was and cut it open with an acetylene torch to see what was inside.”
“Maybe by the fifth generation, they forgot what it was and cut it open with an acetylene torch to see what was inside.”
“Bad luck for us in that case, Ross.” The ship steadied on a due-west course and flashed across the heavens and over the horizon.
“Unfortunate for us in that case, Ross.” The ship stabilized on a due-west course and zipped across the sky and over the horizon.
“Somebody decided a braking ellipse or two was in order. What about line of sight?”
“Someone thought a braking ellipse or two was needed. What about visibility?”
“No sweat. The GCA jockey—and I’d bet it’s Delafield himself—pushes a button that hooks him into the high-power dish at every rocket field on Halsey’s. It’s been all 14thought out. There’s a potential fortune aboard that longliner and Fields Administration wants its percentage for servicing and accommodating.”
“No problem. The GCA operator—and I’d wager it’s Delafield himself—presses a button that connects him to the high-power dish at every launch site on Halsey’s. It’s all planned out. There’s a potential fortune on that longliner, and the Fields Administration wants its cut for the services and support.”
“Wonder what they have?”
"Curious what they have?"
“I already asked that one, Ross.”
“I already asked that one, Ross.”
“So you did.”
"Guess you did."
They lapsed into silence until the rocket boomed in again from the east, high and slow. The big dish swiveled abruptly and began tracking again.
They fell silent until the rocket roared back in from the east, soaring high and slow. The large dish quickly turned and started tracking again.
“He’ll try to bring her down this time. Yes! There go fore and stabilizing jets.”
“He's going to try to take her down this time. Yes! There go the forward and stabilizing jets.”
Flame jutted from the silvery speck high in the blue; its apparent speed slowed to a crawl. It vanished for a second as steering jets turned her slowly endwise. They caught sight of the stern jets when they blasted for the descent.
Flame shot out from the shiny dot high in the blue sky; its speed seemed to drop to a crawl. It disappeared for a moment while the steering jets turned her slowly sideways. They saw the rear jets when they fired up for the descent.
It was uneventful—just the landing of a very, very big rocket. When a landing is successful it is like every other successful landing ever made.
It was uneventful—just the landing of a really, really big rocket. When a landing goes well, it feels like every other successful landing that’s ever happened.
But the action that the field whirled into immediately following the landing was far from routine. The bullhorns roared that all traders, wipers, rubbernecks, and visitors were to get behind the ready lines and stay there. All Class-Three-and-higher Field personnel were to take stations for longliner clearance. The weapons and decontamination parties were to take their stations immediately. Captain Delafield would issue all future orders and don’t let any of the traders talk you out of it, men. Captain Delafield would issue all future orders.
But the scene that unfolded in the field right after the landing was anything but standard. The loudspeakers blared, instructing all traders, bystanders, onlookers, and visitors to step back behind the designated lines and remain there. All Class-Three-and-higher field personnel were to take their positions for longliner clearance. The teams for weapons and decontamination were to get into position right away. Captain Delafield would be giving all further orders, and don’t let any of the traders talk you out of it, guys. Captain Delafield would be giving all future orders.
Ross watched in considerable surprise as Field men working with drilled precision broke out half a dozen sleek, needle-nosed guns from an innocent-looking bay of the warehouse and manhandled them into position. From another bay a large pressure tank was hauled and backed against the lock of the starship. Ross could see the station medic bustlingly supervise that, and the hosing of white gunk onto the juncture between tank and ship.
Ross watched in shock as Field men working with exact precision pulled out half a dozen sleek, needle-nosed guns from an unassuming bay of the warehouse and awkwardly positioned them. From another bay, a large pressure tank was dragged out and backed up against the lock of the starship. Ross could see the station medic busily supervising that and the spraying of a white substance onto the connection between the tank and the ship.
Delafield crossed the stretch from the GCA complex to the tank, vanished into it through a pressure-fitted door and that was that. The tank had no windows.
Delafield crossed the distance from the GCA complex to the tank, disappeared inside through a pressure-fitted door, and that was it. The tank had no windows.
Ross said to Marconi, wonderingly: “What’s all this 15about? There was Doc Gibbons handling the pressure tank, there was Chunk Blaney rolling out a God-damned cannon I never knew was there—how many more little secrets are there that I don’t know about?”
Ross said to Marconi, puzzled, “What’s going on here? There was Doc Gibbons working on the pressure tank, and Chunk Blaney rolling out a damn cannon I never even knew was there—how many more little secrets are there that I don’t know about?”
Marconi grinned. “They have gun drill once a month, my young friend, and they never say a word about it. Let the right rabble-rouser get hold of the story and he might sail into office on a platform of ‘Keep the bug-eyed monsters off of Halsey’s Planet.’ You have to have reasonable precautions, military and medical, though—and this is the straight goods—there’s never been any trouble of either variety.”
Marconi smiled. “They do gun drills once a month, my young friend, and they never mention it. If the right troublemaker caught wind of it, they could end up getting elected with a campaign like ‘Keep the creepy monsters off Halsey’s Planet.’ You need to have sensible precautions, both military and medical, but here’s the truth—there’s never been any issues with either.”
The conversation died and there was a long, boring hour of nothing. At last Delafield appeared again. One of the decontamination party ran up in a jeep with a microphone.
The conversation faded, leaving behind a long, dull hour of silence. Finally, Delafield showed up again. One of the decontamination team drove up in a jeep with a microphone.
“What’ll it be?” Ross demanded. “Alphabetic order? Or just a rush?”
“What do you want?” Ross asked. “Alphabetical order? Or just a quick rush?”
The announcement floored him. “Representative of the Haarland Trading Corporation please report to the decontamination tank.”
The announcement shocked him. “Representative of the Haarland Trading Corporation, please report to the decontamination tank.”
The representative of the Haarland Trading Corporation was Marconi.
The rep for the Haarland Trading Corporation was Marconi.
“Hell,” Ross said bitterly. “Good luck with them, whoever they are.”
“Hell,” Ross said bitterly. “Good luck with them, whoever they are.”
Marconi brooded for a moment and then said gruffly, “Come on along.”
Marconi thought for a moment and then said gruffly, “Come on, let's go.”
“You mean it?”
"Are you serious?"
“Sure. Uh—naturally, Ross, you’ll give me your word not to make any commercial offers or inquiries without my permission.”
“Sure. Uh—of course, Ross, you’ll promise me not to make any business offers or inquiries without my permission.”
“Oh. Naturally.” They started across the field and were checked through the ready line, Marconi cheerfully presenting his identification and vouching for Ross.
“Oh. Of course.” They began to cross the field and were stopped at the ready line, Marconi happily showing his ID and vouching for Ross.
Captain Delafield, at the tank, snapped, “What are you doing here, Ross? You’re Oldham’s man. I distinctly said——”
Captain Delafield, at the tank, snapped, “What are you doing here, Ross? You work for Oldham. I clearly said——”
“My responsibility, Captain. Will that do it?” Marconi asked.
“My responsibility, Captain. Will that work?” Marconi asked.
Delafield snapped, “It’ll be your fundament if Haarland 16hears about it. Actually it’s the damnedest situation—they asked for Haarland’s.”
Delafield snapped, “It’ll be your ass if Haarland 16hears about it. Honestly, it’s the craziest situation—they asked for Haarland’s.”
Marconi looked frightened and his hand involuntarily went to his breast pocket. He swallowed and asked, “Where are they from?”
Marconi looked scared, and his hand instinctively went to his chest pocket. He took a gulp and asked, “Where are they from?”
Delafield grimaced and said, “Home.”
Delafield grimaced and said, “Home.”
Marconi exploded, “Oh, no!”
Marconi yelled, “Oh, no!”
“That’s all I can get out of them. I suppose their trajectory can be analyzed, and there must be books. We haven’t been in the ship yet. Nobody goes in until it gets sprayed, rayed, dusted, and busted down into its component parts. Too many places for nasty little mutant bacteria and viruses to lurk.”
"That’s all I can get from them. I guess their path can be studied, and there must be books on it. We haven’t been inside the ship yet. No one goes in until it’s sprayed, treated with radiation, cleaned, and taken apart into its basic parts. There are too many spots for nasty little mutant bacteria and viruses to hide."
“Sure, Captain. ‘Home,’ eh? They’re pretty simple?”
“Sure, Captain. ‘Home,’ huh? They’re pretty straightforward?”
“Happy little morons. Fifteen of them, ranging in age from one month to what looks like a hundred and twenty. All they know is ‘home’ and ‘we wish to see the representative of the Haarland Trading Corporation.’ First the old woman said it. Then the next in line—he must be about a hundred—said it. Then a pair of identical twins, fifty-year-old women, said it in chorus. Then the rest of them on down to the month-old baby, and I swear to God he tried to say it. Well, you’re the Haarland Trading Corporation. Go on in.”
“Happy little fools. Fifteen of them, ranging in age from one month to what looks like a hundred and twenty. All they know is ‘home’ and ‘we want to see the representative of the Haarland Trading Corporation.’ First, the old woman said it. Then the next in line—he must be about a hundred—said it. Then a pair of identical twins, fifty-year-old women, said it in unison. Then the rest of them down to the month-old baby, and I swear he tried to say it too. Well, you’re the Haarland Trading Corporation. Go on in.”
..... 2
THEY were all naked. Why not? There’s no weather in a space ship. All of them laughed when Ross and Marconi came in through the lock except the baby, who was nursing at the breast of a handsome woman. Their laughter was what attracted Ross immediately. Cheerful—no meanness in it. The happy yelping of puppies at play with a red rubber bone.
THEY were all naked. Why not? There’s no weather in a spaceship. Everyone laughed when Ross and Marconi came in through the lock except the baby, who was nursing at the breast of a beautiful woman. Their laughter immediately caught Ross's attention. It was cheerful—no meanness in it. Like the happy yelping of puppies playing with a red rubber bone.
A stab went through him as the pleasure in their simple happiness turned to recollection and recognition. His wife of a decade ago.... Ross studied them with amazement, expecting to find her features in their features, her figure in theirs. And failed. Yet they reminded him inescapably of his miserable year with that half-a-woman, but they were physically no kin of hers. They were just cheerful laughers who he knew were less than human.
A stab pierced him as the enjoyment of their simple happiness shifted to memories and realization. His wife from ten years ago... Ross looked at them in disbelief, hoping to see her features in theirs, her form in their shapes. And he didn’t. Yet they unmistakably reminded him of his awful year with that half-a-woman, but they were not physically related to her at all. They were just cheerful people who he knew were less than human.
The cheerful laughers exposed unblemished teeth in all their mouths, including that of the hundred-and-twenty-year-old matriarch. Why not? If you put calcium and fluorides into a closed system, they stay there.
The cheerful laughers showed off their perfect teeth, even the hundred-and-twenty-year-old matriarch. Why not? If you keep calcium and fluoride in a closed environment, they remain there.
The old woman stopped laughing at them long enough to say to Marconi, “We wish to see the representative of the Haarland——”
The old woman paused her laughter long enough to say to Marconi, “We want to see the representative of the Haarland——”
“Yes, I know. I’m the representative of the Haarland Trading Corporation. Welcome to Halsey’s Planet. May I ask what your name is, ma’am?”
“Yes, I know. I’m the representative of the Haarland Trading Corporation. Welcome to Halsey’s Planet. May I ask your name, ma’am?”
18“Ma,” she said genially.
“Mom,” she said genially.
“Pleased to meet you, Ma. My name’s Marconi.”
“Nice to meet you, Ma. I’m Marconi.”
Ma said, bewildered, “You just said you were the representative of the Haarland Trading——”
Ma said, confused, “You just said you were the representative of the Haarland Trading——”
“Yes, Ma, but that’s all right. Let’s say that’s my other name. Two names—understand?”
“Yes, Mom, but that’s fine. Let’s just say that’s my other name. Two names—got it?”
She laughed at the idea of two names, wonderingly.
She wondered and laughed at the idea of two names.
Marconi pressed, “And what’s the name of this gentleman?”
Marconi asked, “And what’s this gentleman’s name?”
“He isn’t Gentleman. He’s Sonny.”
“He isn’t a gentleman. He’s Sonny.”
Sonny was a hundred years old.
Sonny was a hundred years old.
“Pleased to meet you, Sonny. And your name, sir?”
“Nice to meet you, Sonny. What's your name, sir?”
“Sonny,” said a redheaded man of eighty or thereabouts.
“Sonny,” said a redheaded man who was around eighty.
The identical-twin women were named The Kids. The baby was named Him. The rest of the troop were named Girl, Ma, or Sonny. After introductions Ross noticed that Him had been passed to another Ma who was placidly suckling him. She had milk; it dribbled from the corner of the baby’s mouth. “There isn’t another baby left in the ship, is there?” Ross asked in alarm.
The identical-twin women were called The Kids. The baby was named Him. The rest of the group were named Girl, Ma, or Sonny. After the introductions, Ross noticed that Him had been given to another Ma who was calmly feeding him. She had milk; it dribbled from the corner of the baby’s mouth. “There isn’t another baby left on the ship, is there?” Ross asked in panic.
They laughed and the Ma suckling the baby said: “There was, but she died. Mostly they do when you put them into the box after they get born. Ma here was lucky. Her Him didn’t die.”
They laughed, and the mom feeding the baby said: “There was one, but she died. Most of them do when you put them in the box after they're born. This mom here was lucky. Her baby didn’t die.”
“Put them in the box? What box? Why?”
“Put them in the box? What box? Why?”
Marconi was nudging him fiercely in the ribs. He ignored it.
Marconi was poking him hard in the side. He brushed it off.
They laughed amiably at his ignorance and explained that the box was the box, and that you put your newborn babies into it because you put your newborn babies into it.
They chuckled good-naturedly at his lack of knowledge and clarified that the box was just the box, and that you put your newborn babies in it simply because that's what you do with newborn babies.
A beep tone sounded from the ship.
A beep echoed from the ship.
Ma said, “We have to go back now, The Representative of the Haarland Trading Corporation Marconi.”
Ma said, “We have to go back now, the representative of the Haarland Trading Corporation, Marconi.”
“What for?”
"Why?"
Ma said, “At regular intervals signaled by a tone of six hundred cycles and an intermittent downward shifting of the ship lights from standard illumination frequency to a signal frequency of 420 millimicrons, ship’s operating personnel take up positions at the control boards for recalibration 19of ship-working meters and instruments against the battery of standard masters. We’ll be right back.”
Ma said, “At regular intervals, indicated by a tone of six hundred cycles and a temporary shift of the ship's lights from standard brightness to a signal frequency of 420 millimicrons, the crew members take their places at the control boards to recalibrate the ship's operating meters and instruments against the set standards. We’ll be right back.” 19
They trooped through the hatch, leaving Ross and Marconi staring at each other in the decontamination tank.
They filed through the hatch, leaving Ross and Marconi staring at each other in the decontamination tank.
“Well,” Ross said slowly, “at last I know why the Longliner Departments have their little secrets. ‘The box.’ I say it’s murder.”
“Well,” Ross said slowly, “now I finally understand why the Longliner Departments have their little secrets. ‘The box.’ I’m telling you, it’s murder.”
“Be reasonable,” Marconi told him—but his own face was white under the glaring germicidal lamps. “You can’t let them increase without limit or they’d all die. And before they died there’d be cannibalism. Which do you prefer?”
“Be reasonable,” Marconi told him—but his own face was pale under the harsh germicidal lamps. “You can’t let them multiply endlessly or they’ll all die. And before they die, there’d be cannibalism. Which would you rather?”
“Letting kids be born and then snuffing them out if a computer decides they’re the wrong sex or over the quota is inhuman.”
“Allowing children to be born and then terminating them if a computer decides they’re the wrong sex or exceeds the limit is cruel.”
“I didn’t say I like it, Ross. But it works.”
“I didn’t say I like it, Ross. But it gets the job done.”
“So do pills!”
“So do meds!”
“Pills are a private matter. A person might privately decide not to take hers. The box is a public matter and the group outnumbers and overrules a mother who decides not to use it. There’s your question of effectiveness answered, but there’s another point. Those people are sane, Ross. Preposterously naive, but sane! Saner than childless women or sour old bachelors we both know who never had to love anything small and helpless, and so come to love nobody but themselves. They’re sane. Partly because the women get a periodic biochemical shakeup called pregnancy that their biochemical balance is designed to mesh with. Partly because the men find tenderness and protectiveness in themselves toward the pregnant women. Mostly, I think, because—it’s something to do.
“Pills are a personal choice. Someone might decide not to take hers privately. The box, however, is a public issue, and the group can outvote a mother who chooses not to use it. That answers your question about effectiveness, but there’s another point. Those people are rational, Ross. Actually, they’re absurdly naive, but rational! More rational than the childless women or bitter old bachelors we both know who never had to care for anything small and helpless, and so end up only loving themselves. They’re rational. Partly because the women experience a regular hormonal shift called pregnancy that their body is meant to handle. Partly because the men discover feelings of tenderness and protectiveness towards the pregnant women. Mostly, I think, because—it gives them something to do.
“Can you imagine the awful monotony of life in the ship? The work is sheer rote and repetition. They can’t read or watch screentapes. They were born in the ship, and the books and screentapes are meaningless because they know nothing to compare them with. The only change they see is each other, aging toward death. Frequent pregnancies are a Godsend to them. They compare and discuss them; they wonder who the fathers are; they make bets of rations; the men brag and keep score. The girls look forward to their first and their last. The jokes they make up about them! 20The way they speculate about twins! The purgative fear, even, keeps them sane.”
“Can you imagine how terrible life on the ship is? The work is just mindless routine. They can’t read or watch videos. They were born on the ship, and the books and videos mean nothing to them because they have nothing to compare them with. The only change they see is each other, getting older and moving toward death. Frequent pregnancies are a blessing for them. They compare and talk about them; they wonder who the fathers are; they gamble their rations; the guys boast and keep score. The girls look forward to their first and their last. The jokes they create about them! 20The way they guess about twins! The anxiety, even, keeps them sane.”
“And then,” Ross said, “‘the box.’”
“And then,” Ross said, “‘the box.’”
Staring straight ahead at the ship’s port Marconi echoed: “Yes. ‘The box.’ If there were another way—but there isn’t.”
Staring straight ahead at the ship’s port, Marconi said: “Yes. ‘The box.’ If there were another way—but there isn’t.”
His breezy young boss, Charles Oldham IV, was not pleased with what Ross had to report.
His easygoing young boss, Charles Oldham IV, was not happy with what Ross had to say.
“Asked for Haarland!” he repeated unbelievingly. “Those dummies didn’t know where they were going or where they were from, but they knew enough to ask for Haarland.” He slammed a ruler on his desk and yelled: “God-damn it!”
“Asked for Haarland!” he said, incredulous. “Those idiots didn’t have a clue where they were headed or where they came from, but they had enough sense to ask for Haarland.” He slammed a ruler on his desk and shouted, “God damn it!”
“Mr. Oldham!” Ross protested, aghast. For a superior to lose his temper publicly was unthinkable; it covered you with embarrassment.
“Mr. Oldham!” Ross exclaimed, shocked. For a boss to lose his temper in public was unimaginable; it was embarrassing for everyone involved.
“Manners be God-damned too!” Oldham screamed, breaking up fast. “What do you know about the state of our books? What do you know about the overhead I inherited from my loving father? What the hell do you know about the downcurve in sales?”
“Damn the manners too!” Oldham shouted, standing up quickly. “What do you know about the state of our books? What do you know about the debt I inherited from my loving father? What the hell do you know about the decline in sales?”
“These fluctuations——” Ross began soothingly.
“These fluctuations—” Ross began softly.
“Fluctuations be God-damned! I know a fluctuation when I see one, and I know a long-term downtrend when I see one. And that’s what we’re riding, right into bankruptcy, fellow. And now these God-damned dummies blow in from nowhere with a consignment exclusively for Haarland—I don’t know why I don’t get to hell out of this stupid business and go live in a shack on Great Blue Lake and let the planet go ahead and rot.”
“Fluctuations be damned! I know a fluctuation when I see one, and I know a long-term downtrend when I see one. And that’s what we’re dealing with, right into bankruptcy, my friend. And now these damn dummies show up out of nowhere with a shipment just for Haarland—I don’t know why I don’t just get out of this ridiculous business, move to a shack by Great Blue Lake, and let the world go to hell.”
Ross’s horror at the unseemly outburst was eclipsed by his interest at noting how similarly he and Oldham had been thinking. “Sir,” he ventured, “I’ve had something on my mind for a while——”
Ross’s shock at the inappropriate outburst was overshadowed by his curiosity about how similarly he and Oldham had been thinking. “Sir,” he said cautiously, “I’ve had something on my mind for a while——”
“It can wait,” Oldham growled, collecting himself with a visible effort. So there went his chance to resign. “What about customs? I know Haarland hasn’t got enough cash to lay out. Who has?”
“It can wait,” Oldham growled, pulling himself together with noticeable effort. So that was his chance to resign gone. “What about customs? I know Haarland doesn’t have enough cash to spend. Who does?”
Ross said glibly: “Usual arrangement, sir. They turn an 21estimated twenty-five per cent of the cargo over to the port authority for auction, the receipts to be in full discharge of their import tax. And I suppose they enter protective bids. They aren’t wasting any time—auction’s 2100 tonight.”
Ross said casually, “Same deal as usual, sir. They give about twenty-five percent of the cargo to the port authority for auction, and the money they make covers all their import taxes. And I guess they place protective bids. They’re not wasting any time—auction’s at 9 PM tonight.”
“You handle it,” Oldham muttered. “Don’t go over one hundred thousand shields. Diversify the purchases as much as possible. And try to sneak some advance information out of the dummies if you get a chance.”
“You take care of it,” Oldham said quietly. “Don’t spend over one hundred thousand shields. Spread out the purchases as much as you can. And see if you can get some insider info from the idiots if the opportunity comes up.”
“Yes, sir,” Ross said. As he left he saw Oldham taking a plastic bottle from a wall cabinet.
“Yes, sir,” Ross said. As he left, he saw Oldham taking a plastic bottle from a wall cabinet.
And that, thought Ross as he rode to the Free Port, was the first crack he had ever seen in the determined optimism of the trading firm’s top level. They were optimists and they were idealists, at least to hear them tell it. Interplanetary trading was a cause and a mission; the traders kept the flame of commerce alight. Perhaps, thought Ross, they had been able to indulge in the hypocrisy of idealism only so long as a population upcurve assured them of an expanding market. Perhaps now that births were flattening out—some said the dirty word “declining”—they all would drop their optimistic creed in favor of fang-and-claw competition for the favors of the dwindling pool of consumers.
And that, Ross thought as he rode to the Free Port, was the first sign of doubt he had ever seen in the unwavering optimism of the trading firm’s upper management. They were optimistic and idealistic, or at least that’s how they presented themselves. Interplanetary trading was a mission and a purpose; the traders kept the spirit of commerce alive. Maybe, Ross considered, they had been able to enjoy the falsehood of idealism only as long as a growing population promised them an expanding market. Now that birth rates were stabilizing—some even used the harsh term “declining”—perhaps they would all abandon their optimistic beliefs in favor of intense competition for the limited pool of consumers.
And that, Ross thought gloomily, was the way he’d go himself if he stayed on: junior trader, to senior trader, to master trader, growing every year more paranoidally suspicious of his peers, less scrupulous in the chase of the shield....
And that, Ross thought sadly, was how he’d end up himself if he kept going: junior trader, then senior trader, then master trader, becoming more and more paranoid and suspicious of his colleagues each year, and less ethical in the pursuit of the shield....
But he was getting out, of course. The purser’s berth awaited. And then, perhaps, the awful depressions he had been enduring would lift off him. He thought of the master traders he knew: his own man Oldham, none too happy in the hereditary business; Leverett, still smug and fat with his terrific windfall of the Sirius IV starship fifteen years ago; Marconi’s boss Haarland—Haarland broke the sequence all to hell. It just wasn’t possible to think of Haarland being driven by avarice and fear. He was the oldest of them all, but there was more zest and drive in his parchment body than in the rest of them combined.
But he was definitely getting out. The purser’s cabin was waiting for him. And then, maybe, the awful lows he had been feeling would finally lift. He thought about the master traders he knew: his own guy Oldham, who wasn’t too happy in the family business; Leverett, still smug and fat from his huge windfall from the Sirius IV starship fifteen years ago; and Marconi’s boss Haarland—Haarland completely shattered the mold. It just didn’t make sense to think of Haarland being driven by greed and fear. He was the oldest of them all, but there was more energy and ambition in his wrinkled body than in all the others combined.
In the auction hall Ross found a seat near the velvet 22ropes. One of the professional bidders lounging against a wall flicked him an almost imperceptible signal, and he answered with another. That was that; he had his man, and a good one. They had often worked together in the commodity pits, but not so often or so exclusively that the bidder would be instantly known as his.
In the auction room, Ross took a seat by the velvet ropes. One of the professional bidders leaning against the wall gave him a nearly unnoticeable signal, and he responded with one of his own. That was it; he had his guy, and a solid choice too. They had worked together frequently in the commodity pits, but not so often or so exclusively that the bidder would immediately be recognized as his.
Inside the enclosure Marconi, seated at a bare table, labored over a sheaf of papers with one of the “Sonnies” from the ship. Sonny was wriggling in coveralls, the first clothes he had ever worn. Ross saw they hadn’t been able to get shoes onto him.
Inside the enclosure, Marconi, sitting at a bare table, worked hard on a stack of papers with one of the “Sonnies” from the ship. Sonny was squirming in coveralls, the first clothes he had ever worn. Ross noticed they hadn't managed to put shoes on him.
Who else did he know? Captain Delafield was sitting somberly within the enclosure; Win Fraley, the hottest auctioneer on the Port, was studying a list, his lips moving. Every trading firm was represented; the heads of the smaller firms were there in person, not daring to delegate the bidding job. Plenty of Port personnel, just there for the excitement of the first longliner in fifteen years, even though it was well after close of the business day.
Who else did he know? Captain Delafield was sitting quietly in the enclosure; Win Fraley, the most popular auctioneer in the Port, was going over a list, his lips moving. Every trading company was represented; the leaders of the smaller firms were there in person, not willing to hand off the bidding to anyone else. Many Port personnel were there just for the excitement of the first longliner in fifteen years, even though it was well past the end of the business day.
The goods were in sealed cases against the back wall as usual. Ross could only tell that some of them were perforated and therefore ought to contain living animals. Only the one Sonny from the starship crew was there; presumably the rest were back on the ship. He wouldn’t be able to follow Oldham’s orders to snoop out the nature of the freight from them. Well, damn Oldham; damn even the auction, Ross thought to himself. His mood of gloom did not lift.
The goods were in sealed cases against the back wall as usual. Ross could only see that some of them were perforated, so they probably contained live animals. Only Sonny from the starship crew was there; the others were likely back on the ship. He wouldn’t be able to follow Oldham’s orders to find out what the freight was from them. Well, forget Oldham; forget the auction, Ross thought to himself. His mood of gloom didn’t improve.
The auction was a kind of letdown. All that turmoil and bustle, concentrated in a tiny arc around the velvet ropes, contrasted unpleasantly with the long, vacant rows of dusty seats that stretched to the back of the hall. Maybe a couple of centuries ago Ross would have enjoyed the auction more. But now all it made him think of was the thing he had been brooding about for a night and a day, the slow emptying of the planet, the....
The auction was a bit of a disappointment. All that chaos and excitement, packed into a small area around the velvet ropes, felt awkward compared to the long, empty rows of dusty seats that went all the way to the back of the hall. Maybe a couple of hundred years ago, Ross would have found the auction more enjoyable. But now all it did was remind him of what he had been worrying about for a day and a night, the gradual emptiness of the planet, the....
Decay.
Decompose.
But, as usual, no one else seemed to notice or to care.
But, as usual, nobody else seemed to notice or care.
Captain Delafield consulted his watch and stood up. He rapped the table. “In accordance with the rules of the 23Trade Commission and the appropriate governing statutes,” he droned, “certain merchandise will now be placed on public auction. The Haarland Trading Corporation, consignee, agrees and consents to divest itself of merchandise from Consignment 97-W amounting by estimate of the customs authorities to twenty-five per cent of the total value of all merchandise in said consignment. All receipts of this auction are to be entered as excise duties paid by the consignee on said merchandise, said receipts to constitute payment in full on excise on Consignment 97-W. The clerk will record; if any person here present wishes to enter an objection let him do so thank you.” He glanced at a slip of paper in his hand. “I am requested to inform you that the Haarland Trading Corporation has entered with the clerk a protective bid of five thousand shields on each item.” There was a rustle in the hall. Five thousand shields was a lot of money. “Your auctioneer, Win Fraley,” said Captain Delafield, and sat down in the first row of seats.
Captain Delafield checked his watch and stood up. He tapped the table. “According to the rules of the 23Trade Commission and relevant laws,” he said monotonously, “certain goods will now be put up for public auction. The Haarland Trading Corporation, the consignee, agrees to sell goods from Consignment 97-W, which customs estimates to be about twenty-five percent of the total value of all items in this consignment. All proceeds from this auction will be considered excise duties paid by the consignee on those goods, and these proceeds will fully cover the excise for Consignment 97-W. The clerk will take note; if anyone present has an objection, please speak up. Thank you.” He glanced at a paper in his hand. “I’m required to inform you that the Haarland Trading Corporation has submitted a protective bid of five thousand shields on each item.” A stir went through the hall. Five thousand shields was a significant amount. “Your auctioneer, Win Fraley,” said Captain Delafield, then sat down in the front row.
The auctioneer took a long, slow swallow of water, his eyes gleaming above the glass at the audience. Theatrically he tossed the glass to an assistant, smacked his hands together and grinned. “Well,” he boomed genially, “I don’t have to tell you gentlemen that somebody’s going to get rich tonight. Who knows—maybe it’ll be you? But you can’t make money without spending money, so without any further ado, let’s get started. I have here,” he rapped out briskly, “Item Number One. Now you don’t know and I don’t know exactly what Item Number One contains, but I can tell you this, they wouldn’t have sent it two hundred and thirty-one lights if they didn’t think it was worth something. Let’s get this started with a rush, folks, and I mean with a big bid to get in the right mood. After all, the more you spend here the less you have to pay in taxes,” he laughed. “You ready? Here’s the dope. Item Number One——” His assistant slapped a carton at the extreme left of the line. “——weight two hundred and fifteen grams, net; fifteen cubic centimeters; one microfilm reel included. Reminds me,” he reminisced, “of an item just about that size on the Sirius IV shipment. Turned out to be Maryjane seeds, and I don’t suppose I have to tell anybody here how 24much Mr. Leverett made out of Maryjanes; I bet every one of us has been smoking them ever since. What do you say, Mr. Leverett? You did all right last time—want to say ten thousand as a first big bid on Item Number One? Nine thousand? Do I hear——?”
The auctioneer took a long, slow sip of water, his eyes shining above the glass at the audience. Dramatically, he tossed the glass to an assistant, clapped his hands together, and grinned. “Alright,” he said cheerfully, “I don’t need to tell you guys that someone’s going to get rich tonight. Who knows—maybe it’ll be you? But you can’t make money without spending money, so let’s get this show on the road. I have here,” he said quickly, “Item Number One. Now, we don’t know exactly what’s in Item Number One, but I can tell you this: they wouldn’t have sent it two hundred and thirty-one lights if they didn’t think it was valuable. Let’s kick this off with a bang, folks, and I mean a big bid to set the mood. After all, the more you spend here, the less you have to pay in taxes,” he chuckled. “You ready? Here’s the scoop. Item Number One——” His assistant slapped a carton at the far left of the display. “——weighs two hundred and fifteen grams, net; fifteen cubic centimeters; one microfilm reel included. This reminds me,” he reminisced, “of something just about that size from the Sirius IV shipment. It turned out to be Maryjane seeds, and I bet everyone here knows how much Mr. Leverett made from Maryjanes; I’m sure every one of us has been enjoying them ever since. What do you say, Mr. Leverett? You did great last time—how about starting with a ten thousand bid for Item Number One? Nine thousand? Do I hear——?”
One of the smaller traders, not working through a professional bidder, not even decently delegating the work to a junior, bid seventy-five hundred shields. Like the spokesmen for the other big traders, Ross sat on his hands during the early stages. Let the small fry give themselves a thrill and drop out. The big firms knew to a fraction of a shield how much the small ones could afford to bid on a blind purchase, and the easiest way to handle them was to let them spend their budgets in a hurry. Of course the small traders knew all this, and their strategy, when they could manage it, was to hold back as long as possible. It was a matter of sensing emotion rather than counting costs; of recognizing the fraction of a second in which a little fellow made up his mind to acquire an item and bidding him up—of knowing when he’d gone his limit and letting him have it at a ruinous price. It was an art, and Ross, despising it, knew that he did it very, very well.
One of the smaller traders, not using a professional bidder and not even adequately delegating the task to a junior, bid seven thousand five hundred shields. Like the representatives of the other major traders, Ross kept his hands still during the initial phases. Let the small-time players enjoy themselves and bow out. The big firms knew exactly how much the smaller ones could afford to bid on a blind purchase, and the best way to deal with them was to let them blow their budgets quickly. Of course, the small traders understood this, and their strategy, when they could pull it off, was to hold back for as long as possible. It was about picking up on emotions rather than only counting costs; recognizing the split second when a smaller trader decided to acquire an item and pushing their bid up—knowing when they’d hit their limit and letting them have it at a loss. It was a skill, and Ross, who looked down on it, knew he was very, very good at it.
He yawned and pretended to read a magazine while the first six items went on the block; the little traders seemed desperate enough to force the price up without help. He bid on Item Seven partly to squeeze a runt trader and partly to test his liaison with his professional bidder. It was perfect; the pro caught his signal—a bored inspection of his fingernails—while seeming to peek clumsily at the man from Leverett’s.
He yawned and acted like he was reading a magazine while the first six items were up for auction; the small-time traders looked eager enough to drive the price up on their own. He placed a bid on Item Seven partly to pressure a struggling trader and partly to see how well he could communicate with his professional bidder. It worked perfectly; the pro picked up on his cue—a casual check of his fingernails—while pretending to awkwardly glance at the guy from Leverett’s.
Ross let the next two pass and then acquired three items in rapid succession. The fever had spread to most of the bidders by then; they were starting at ten thousand and up. One or two of the early birds had spent their budgets and were leaving, looking sandbagged—as indeed they had been. Ross signaled “take five” to his professional and strolled out for a cup of coffee.
Ross let the next two go by and then quickly picked up three items. The excitement had caught on with most of the bidders by then; they were starting at ten thousand and going up. A couple of the early bidders had used up their budgets and were leaving, looking disappointed—as they rightfully should have been. Ross signaled “take five” to his team and walked out for a cup of coffee.
On the way back he stopped for a moment outside the hall to look at the stars and breathe. There were the familiar constellations—The Plowman, the Rocket Fleet, Marilyn 25Monroe. He stood smoking a cigarette and yearning toward them until somebody moved in the darkness near him. “Nice night, Ross,” the man said gloomily.
On the way back, he paused for a moment outside the hall to look at the stars and take a breath. The familiar constellations were there—The Plowman, the Rocket Fleet, Marilyn Monroe. He stood smoking a cigarette and longing for them until someone moved in the darkness nearby. “Nice night, Ross,” the man said with a frown.
It was Captain Delafield. “Oh, hello, sir,” Ross said, the world descending around him again like a too-substantial curtain. “Taking a breather?”
It was Captain Delafield. “Oh, hey, sir,” Ross said, the world closing in around him again like a heavy curtain. “Taking a break?”
“Had to,” the captain growled. “Ten more minutes in that place and I would have thrown. Damned money-grabbing traders. No offense, Ross; just that I don’t see how you stand the life. Seems to have got worse in my time. Much worse. You high-rollers goading the pee-wees into shooting their wads—it didn’t use to be like that. Gallantry. Not stomping a downed man. I don’t see how you stand it.”
“Had to,” the captain growled. “Ten more minutes in that place and I would have lost it. Damn money-hungry traders. No offense, Ross; it’s just that I don’t get how you put up with this life. It seems to have gotten worse since my time. A lot worse. You big spenders pushing the newbies into blowing all their cash—it wasn’t like this before. It used to be about honor. Not kicking someone when they’re down. I don’t know how you handle it.”
“I can’t stand it,” Ross said quietly. “Captain Delafield, you don’t know—I’m so sick to death of the life I’m leading and the work I’m doing that I’d do anything to get away. Mr. Fallon offered me a purser’s spot on his ship; I’ve been thinking about it very seriously.”
“I can't take it anymore,” Ross said quietly. “Captain Delafield, you have no idea—I’m so fed up with the life I’m living and the work I'm doing that I’d do anything to escape. Mr. Fallon offered me a purser’s position on his ship; I've been seriously considering it.”
“Purser? A dirty job. There’s nothing to do except when you’re in port, and then there’s so much to do that you never get to see the planet. I don’t recommend it, Ross.”
“Purser? It’s a tough job. There’s really nothing to handle unless you're in port, and then there's so much to do that you barely get a chance to see the world. I wouldn’t suggest it, Ross.”
Ross grunted, thinking. If even the purser’s berth was no way out, what was left for him? Sixty more years of waiting for a starship and scheming how to make a profit from its contents? Sixty more years watching Ghost Town grow by nibbles on Halsey City, watching the traders wax in savagery as they battled for the ever-diminishing pool of consumers, watching obscene comedies like Lurline of the Old Landowners graciously consenting to wed Marconi of the New Nobodies? He said wearily: “Then what shall I do, Captain? Rot here with the rest of the planet?”
Ross grunted, lost in thought. If even the purser’s position was no way out, what else did he have? Sixty more years of waiting for a starship and figuring out how to profit from its cargo? Sixty more years watching Ghost Town slowly expand around Halsey City, watching traders grow increasingly ruthless as they fought for the shrinking number of customers, watching ridiculous shows like Lurline of the Old Landowners agreeing to marry Marconi of the New Nobodies? He said wearily, “So what should I do, Captain? Just sit here and rot with the rest of the planet?”
Delafield shrugged, suprisingly gentle. “You feel it too, Ross? I’m glad to hear it. I’m not sensitive, thank God, but I know they talk about me. They say I quit the space-going fleet as soon as I had a chance to grab off the port captaincy. They’re right; I did. Because I was frightened.”
Delafield shrugged, surprisingly gentle. “You feel it too, Ross? I’m glad to hear that. I’m not sensitive, thank God, but I know they talk about me. They say I left the space-going fleet as soon as I could take the port captaincy. They’re right; I did. Because I was scared.”
“Frightened? You?” Delafield’s ribbons for a dozen heroic rescues gleamed in the light that escaped from the hall.
“Scared? You?” Delafield’s medals for a dozen heroic rescues shone in the light that spilled out from the hall.
“Sure, Ross.” He flicked the ribbons. “Each one of these means I and my men pulled some people out of a jam they 26got into because of somebody’s damned stupidity or slow reflexes or defective memory. No; I withdraw that. The ‘Thetis’ got stove in because of mechanical failure, but all the rest were human error. There got to be too many for me; I want to enjoy my old age.
“Sure, Ross.” He flicked the ribbons. “Each one of these represents times when my guys and I helped people out of tough situations due to someone’s stupid mistakes, slow reactions, or poor memories. Wait; I take that back. The ‘Thetis’ sank because of a mechanical failure, but all the others were due to human error. There have been too many for me; I want to enjoy my retirement.”
“Ready to face that if you become a purser? I can tell you that if you don’t like it here you won’t be happy on Sunward and you won’t like the moons. And you most especially and particularly won’t like being a purser. It’s the same job you’re doing now, but it pays less, offers you a six-by-eight cubicle to work and live in, and gives you nothing resembling a future to aim at. Now if you’ll excuse me I’d better get back inside. I’ve enjoyed our talk.”
“Are you ready to deal with that if you become a purser? I can tell you that if you don’t like it here, you won’t be happy on Sunward, and you won’t enjoy the moons either. And you definitely won’t like being a purser. It’s the same job you’re doing now, but it pays less, gives you a six-by-eight cubicle to work and live in, and offers you no real future to aim for. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I should get back inside. I’ve enjoyed our conversation.”
Ross followed the captain gloomily. Nothing had changed inside; Ross lounged in the doorway inconspicuously picking up the eye of his bidder. Marconi was gone from the enclosure. Ross looked around hopefully and found his friend in agitated conversation with an unrecognizable but also agitated man at the back of the hall. Ross drifted over. Heads were turning in the front rows. As Ross got within range he heard a couple of phrases. “——in the ship. Mr. Haarland specially asked for you. Please, Mr. Marconi!”
Ross followed the captain with a heavy heart. Nothing had changed inside; he stood casually in the doorway, discreetly catching the eye of his bidder. Marconi was no longer in the enclosure. Ross looked around, hoping to spot him and found his friend deep in an intense discussion with a man he didn't recognize, who also seemed agitated, at the back of the hall. Ross moved closer. Heads were turning in the front rows. As he got within earshot, he caught a few phrases. “——in the ship. Mr. Haarland specifically asked for you. Please, Mr. Marconi!”
“Oh, hell,” Marconi said disgustedly. “Go on. Tell him I’ll be there. But how he expects me to take care of things here and——” He trailed off as he caught sight of Ross.
“Oh, hell,” Marconi said in disgust. “Go ahead. Tell him I’ll be there. But how he expects me to handle things here and——” He paused when he noticed Ross.
“Trouble?” Ross asked.
"Everything okay?" Ross asked.
“Not exactly. The hell with it.” Marconi stared indecisively at the auctioneer for a moment. He said obscurely, “Taking your life isn’t enough; he wants more. And I thought I’d be able to see Lurline tonight. Excuse me, Ross. I’ve got to get over to the ship.” He hurried out.
“Not really. Forget it.” Marconi looked uncertainly at the auctioneer for a moment. He said vaguely, “Ending your life isn’t enough; he wants more. And I thought I’d get to see Lurline tonight. Sorry, Ross. I need to get over to the ship.” He rushed out.
Ross looked wonderingly after him, caught the eye of his bidder, and went back to work. By the time the auction was over and dawn was breaking in the west, Oldham Trading had bought nine lots of merchandise: three breathing, five flowering, and one a roll of microfilm. Ross took his prizes to the office where Charles Oldham was waiting, much the better for a few drinks and a long nap.
Ross watched him in awe, caught the eye of his bidder, and went back to work. By the time the auction wrapped up and dawn was breaking in the west, Oldham Trading had purchased nine lots of merchandise: three living items, five plants, and a roll of microfilm. Ross took his wins to the office where Charles Oldham was waiting, looking much better after a few drinks and a long nap.
“How much?” demanded Oldham. Evidently they were 27both supposed to ignore his hysteria of the night before.
“How much?” demanded Oldham. Clearly, they were 27 both expected to overlook his outburst from the night before.
“Fifty-seven thousand,” Ross said dully.
"57,000," Ross said dully.
“For nine lots? Good man! With any kind of luck at all——” And Oldham babbled on and on. He wanted Ross to stay and view the microfilm projection, stand by for a report from a zoologist and a botanist on the living acquisitions. He pleaded weariness and Oldham became conciliatory to the wonderful young up-and-comer who had bid in the merchandise at a whopping bargain price.
“For nine lots? Good man! If we have any luck at all——” And Oldham kept going on and on. He wanted Ross to stay and check out the microfilm projection, waiting for a report from a zoologist and a botanist on the living acquisitions. He mentioned feeling tired, and Oldham became more agreeable toward the amazing young talent who had bought the merchandise at an incredible bargain.
Ross dragged himself from the building, into a cab, and home. Morosely undressing he lit a cigarette and brooded: well, that was it. What you’d been waiting for since you were a junior apprentice. The starship came, you had the alien prizes in your hands and you realized they were as tawdry as the cheap gimcracks you export every week to Sunward.
Ross pulled himself out of the building, got into a cab, and went home. Feeling glum as he undressed, he lit a cigarette and contemplated: well, that was it. This was what he'd been waiting for since he was a junior apprentice. The starship arrived, he had the alien trophies in his hands, and he realized they were as cheap as the junk he exports every week to Sunward.
He stared out the window, over Ghost Town, to the Field. The sun was high over the surrounding mountains; he imagined he could pick out the reflected glimmer from the starship a dozen miles away. Marconi at least got to examine the ship. Marconi might be there now; he’d been headed that way when Ross saw him last. And evidently not enjoying it much. Ross wondered vaguely if anybody really enjoyed anything. He stubbed out his cigarette.
He looked out the window at Ghost Town and the Field. The sun was shining brightly over the surrounding mountains; he thought he could see the reflected glimmer from the starship a dozen miles away. At least Marconi got to check out the ship. Marconi might be there now; he’d been heading that way when Ross saw him last. And it seemed like he wasn’t having a great time. Ross wondered vaguely if anyone actually enjoyed anything. He put out his cigarette.
As he fell asleep he was remembering what Delafield had told him about the moons and the planet ports. His dreams were of the cities of other planets, and every one of them was populated by aloof Delafields and avaricious Oldhams.
As he drifted off to sleep, he recalled what Delafield had told him about the moons and the spaceports. His dreams were filled with the cities of other planets, and each one was inhabited by distant Delafields and greedy Oldhams.
..... 3
“WAKE up, Ross,” Marconi was saying, joggling him. “Come on, wake up.”
“Wake up, Ross,” Marconi was saying, shaking him. “Come on, wake up.”
Ross thrust himself up on an elbow and opened his eyes. He said with a tongue the size of his forearm in a dust-lined mouth: “Wha’ time is it? Wha’ the hell are you doing here, for that matter?”
Ross propped himself up on an elbow and opened his eyes. He said with a tongue the size of his forearm in a dusty mouth, “What time is it? What the hell are you doing here, anyway?”
“It’s around noon. You’ve slept for three hours; you can get up.”
“It’s around noon. You’ve slept for three hours; you can get up.”
“Uh.” Ross automatically reached for a cigarette. The smoke got in his eyes and he rubbed them; it dehydrated and seared what little healthy tissue appeared to be left in his mouth. But it woke him up a little. “What are you doing here?” he demanded.
“Uh.” Ross instinctively reached for a cigarette. The smoke stung his eyes and he rubbed them; it dried out and burned what little healthy tissue was left in his mouth. But it helped him feel more awake. “What are you doing here?” he asked.
Marconi’s hand was involuntarily on his breast pocket again, the one in which he carried Lurline’s picture. He said harshly: “You want a job? Topside? Better than purser?” He wasn’t meeting Ross’s eye. His gaze roved around the apartment and lighted on a coffee maker. He filled it and snapped it on. “Get dressed, will you?” he demanded.
Marconi's hand went to his breast pocket again, where he kept Lurline's picture. He said harshly, "You want a job? Up top? Better than purser?" He wasn't looking Ross in the eye. His gaze wandered around the apartment and landed on a coffee maker. He filled it and turned it on. "Get dressed, will you?" he demanded.
Ross sat up. “What’s this all about, Marconi? What do you want, anyway?”
Ross sat up. “What’s this all about, Marconi? What do you want, anyway?”
Marconi, for his own reasons, became violently angry. “You’re the damnedest question-asker I ever did meet, Ross. I’m trying to do you a favor.”
Marconi, for his own reasons, got really angry. “You're the most relentless question-asker I've ever met, Ross. I'm trying to help you out.”
29“What favor?” Ross asked suspiciously.
“What favor?” Ross asked, suspicious.
“You’ll find out. You’ve been bellyaching to me long enough about how dull your poor little life is. Well, I’m offering you a chance to do something big and different. And what do you do? You crawfish. Are you interested or aren’t you? I told you: It’s a space job, and a big one. Bigger than being a purser for Fallon. Bigger than you can imagine.”
“You’ll see. You’ve been complaining to me long enough about how boring your life is. Well, I’m giving you a chance to do something big and different. And what do you do? You back down. Are you in or not? I told you: It’s a space job, and a major one. Bigger than being a purser for Fallon. Bigger than you can even imagine.”
Ross began to struggle into his clothes, no more than half comprehending, but stimulated by the magic words. He asked, puzzling sleepily over what Marconi had said, “What are you sore about?” His guess was that Lurline had broken a date—but it seemed to be the wrong time of day for that.
Ross started to put on his clothes, only half aware of what was happening, but energized by the enchanting words. He asked, confused and still half-asleep from what Marconi had said, “What are you upset about?” He guessed that Lurline had canceled a date—but it didn’t seem like the right time of day for that.
“Nothing,” Marconi said grumpily. “Only I have my own life to live.” He poured two cups of coffee. He wouldn’t answer questions while they sipped the scalding stuff. But somehow Ross was not surprised when, downstairs, Marconi headed his car along the winding road through Ghost Town that led to the Yards.
“Nothing,” Marconi said irritably. “I just have my own life to live.” He poured two cups of coffee. He wouldn’t answer questions while they drank the hot coffee. But somehow, Ross wasn’t surprised when, downstairs, Marconi drove his car along the winding road through Ghost Town that led to the Yards.
Every muscle of Ross’s body was stiff and creaky; another six hours of sleep would have been a wonderful thing. But as they drove through the rutted streets of Ghost Town he began to feel alive again. He stared out the window at the flashing ruins, piecing together the things Marconi had said.
Every muscle in Ross’s body was stiff and creaky; another six hours of sleep would have been amazing. But as they drove through the bumpy streets of Ghost Town, he started to feel alive again. He looked out the window at the flashing ruins, trying to make sense of what Marconi had said.
“Watch it!” he yelled, and Marconi swerved the car around a tumbled wall. Ross was shaking, but Marconi only drove faster. This was crazy! You didn’t race through Ghost Town as though you were on the pleasure parkways around the Great Blue Lake; it wasn’t safe. The buildings had to fall over from time to time—nobody, certainly, bothered to keep them in repair. And nobody bothered to pick up the pieces when they fell, either, until the infrequent road-mending teams made their rounds.
“Watch out!” he shouted, and Marconi swerved the car around a collapsed wall. Ross was shaking, but Marconi just drove faster. This was insane! You didn’t speed through Ghost Town like it was a joyride around the Great Blue Lake; it wasn’t safe. The buildings had to topple over from time to time—no one, for sure, bothered to keep them repaired. And no one bothered to clean up the debris when they did fall, either, until the rare road maintenance crews came by.
But at last they were out of Ghost Town, on the broad highway from Halsey City to the port. The administration building and car park was just ahead.
But finally, they were out of Ghost Town, on the wide highway from Halsey City to the port. The administration building and parking lot were just ahead.
It was there that Marconi spoke again. “I’m assuming, 30Ross, that you weren’t snowing me when you said you wanted thrills, chills, and change galore.”
It was there that Marconi spoke again. “I’m guessing, 30Ross, that you weren't joking when you said you wanted excitement, surprises, and plenty of change.”
“That’s not the way I put it. But I wasn’t snowing you.”
“That’s not how I said it. But I wasn’t misleading you.”
“You’ll get them. Come on.”
"You'll get them. Let's go."
He led Ross across the field to the longliner, past a gaggle of laughing, chattering Sonnies and Mas. He ignored them.
He walked Ross across the field to the longliner, past a group of laughing, chatting Sonnies and Mas. He ignored them.
The longliner was a giant of a ship, a blunt torpedo a hundred meters tall. It had no ports—naturally enough; the designers of the ship certainly didn’t find any reason for its idiot crew to look out into space, and landings and takeoffs would be remote-controlled. Two hundred years old it was; but its metal was as bright, its edges as sharp, as the newest of the moon freighters at the other end of the hardstand. Two hundred years—a long trip, but an almost unimaginably long distance that trip covered. For the star that spawned it was undoubtedly almost as far away as light would travel in two centuries’ time. At 186,000 miles per second, sixty seconds in a minute, sixty minutes in an hour. Ross’s imagination gave up the task. It was far.
The longliner was a massive ship, a blunt torpedo a hundred meters high. It had no windows—naturally; the ship's designers didn't see any reason for its clueless crew to gaze into space, and landings and takeoffs would be controlled remotely. It was two hundred years old, but its metal was as shiny, its edges as sharp, as the newest moon freighters at the other end of the hardstand. Two hundred years—a long journey, but an almost unfathomably long distance that journey covered. The star that created it was undoubtedly almost as far away as light would travel in two centuries. At 186,000 miles per second, with sixty seconds in a minute and sixty minutes in an hour. Ross's imagination couldn't handle it. It was far.
He stared about him in fascination as they entered the ship. He gaped at sterile, gray-walled cubicles, each of which contained the same chair and cot—no screen or projector for longliners. Ross remembered his rash words of the day before about shipping out on a longliner, and shuddered.
He looked around in awe as they boarded the ship. He was amazed by the sterile, gray-walled cubicles, each holding the same chair and cot—no screens or projectors for longliners. Ross recalled his reckless comments from the day before about going out on a longliner and felt a shiver run down his spine.
“Here we are,” said Marconi stopping before a closed door. He knocked and entered.
“Here we are,” said Marconi as he stopped in front of a closed door. He knocked and walked in.
It was a cubicle like the others, but there were reels stacked on the floor and a projector. Sitting on the cot in a just-awakened attitude was old man Haarland himself. Beady-eyed, Ross thought. Watchful.
It was a cubicle like the others, but there were reels stacked on the floor and a projector. Sitting on the cot in a just-awakened way was old man Haarland himself. Beady-eyed, Ross thought. Watchful.
Haarland asked: “Ross?”
Haaland asked, "Ross?"
“Yes, sir,” Marconi said. There was tension in his voice and attitude. “Do you want me to stay, sir?”
“Yes, sir,” Marconi replied. There was tension in his voice and demeanor. “Do you want me to stay, sir?”
Haarland growled: “Good God, no. You can get out. Sit down, Ross.”
Haarland growled, “Oh my God, no. You can leave. Take a seat, Ross.”
Ross sat down. Marconi, carefully looking neither to right or left, went out and closed the door. Haarland stretched, scratched, and yawned. He said: “Ross, Marconi 31tells me you’re quite a fellow. Sincere, competent, a good man to give a tough job to. Namely, his.”
Ross sat down. Marconi, making sure not to look to either side, left and shut the door. Haarland stretched, scratched, and yawned. He said, “Ross, Marconi tells me you’re quite a guy. Sincere, capable, a solid choice for a tough job. Specifically, his.”
“Junior-Fourth Trader?” Ross asked, bewildered.
"Junior Fourth Trader?" Ross asked, bewildered.
“A little more dramatic than that—but we’ll come to the details in a minute. I’m told you were ready to quit Oldham for a purser’s berth. That’s ethical. Would you consider it unethical to quit Oldham for Haarland?”
“A bit more dramatic than that—but we’ll get into the details in a moment. I heard you were about to leave Oldham for a job as a purser. That’s ethical. Would you think it's unethical to leave Oldham for Haarland?”
“Yes—I think I would.”
"Yeah—I think I would."
“Glad to hear it! What if the work had absolutely nothing to do with trading and never brings you into a competitive situation with Oldham?”
“Glad to hear it! What if the job had nothing to do with trading at all and never puts you in a competitive situation with Oldham?”
“Well——” Ross scratched his jaw. “Well, I think that would be all right. But a Junior Fourth’s job, Mr. Haarland——” The floor bucked and surged under him. He gasped, “What was that?”
“Well—” Ross scratched his jaw. “Well, I think that would be fine. But a Junior Fourth's job, Mr. Haarland—” The floor jolted and swayed beneath him. He gasped, “What was that?”
“Blastoff, I imagine,” Haarland said calmly. “We’re taking off. Better lie down.”
“Blastoff, I guess,” Haarland said calmly. “We’re launching. You’d better lie down.”
Ross flopped to the floor. It was no time to argue, not with the first-stage pumps thundering and the preheaters roaring their threat of an imminent four-G thrust.
Ross fell to the floor. There was no time to argue, not with the first-stage pumps roaring and the preheaters threatening an imminent four-G thrust.
It came like thunder, slapping Ross against the floor plates as though he were glued to them. He felt every tiny wrinkle in every weld he lay on, and one arm had fallen across a film reel. He heaved, and succeeded in levering it off the reel. It thwacked to the floor as though sandbags were stacked meters-high atop it.
It hit him like a ton of bricks, knocking Ross flat against the metal floor like he was stuck to it. He could feel every little bump in the welds he was lying on, and one arm was draped over a film reel. He pushed himself up and managed to shift it off the reel. It crashed to the ground as if there were heavy sandbags piled up on top of it.
Blackout came very soon.
The blackout happened quickly.
He awoke in free fall. He was orbiting aimlessly about the cubicle.
He woke up in free fall. He was floating around the cubicle without any direction.
Haarland was strapped to the cot, absorbed in manipulating the portable projector, trying to thread a free-floating film. Ross bumped against the old man; Haarland abstractedly shoved him off.
Haarland was tied to the cot, focused on adjusting the portable projector, attempting to load a loose film. Ross accidentally brushed against the old man; Haarland absentmindedly pushed him away.
He careened from a bulkhead and flailed for a grip.
He stumbled off a wall and reached out desperately for something to hold onto.
“Oh,” said Haarland, looking up. “Awake?”
“Oh,” Haarland said, looking up. “You’re awake?”
“Yes, awake!” Ross said bitterly. “What is all this? Where are we?”
“Yes, I'm awake!” Ross said bitterly. “What's going on? Where are we?”
The old man said formally, “Please forgive my cavalier treatment of you. You must not blame your friend Marconi; he had no idea that I was planning an immediate 32blastoff with you. I had an assignment for him which he—he preferred not to accept. Not to mince words, Ross, he quit.”
The old man said formally, “Please forgive my casual treatment of you. You shouldn't blame your friend Marconi; he had no idea I was planning an immediate 32launch with you. I had a task for him that he—he chose not to take on. To be direct, Ross, he quit.”
“Quit his job?”
“Quit his job?”
The old man shook his head. “No, Ross. Quit much more than the job of working for me. He quit on an assignment which is—I am sorry if it sounds melodramatic—absolutely vital to the human race.” He suddenly frowned. “I—I think,” he added weakly. “Bear with me, Ross. I’ll try to explain as I go along. But, you see, Marconi left me in the lurch. I needed him and he failed me. He felt that you would be glad to take it on, and he told me something about you.” Haarland glowered at Ross and said, with a touch of bitterness, “A recommendation from Marconi, at this particular point, is hardly any recommendation at all. But I haven’t much choice—and, besides, I took the liberty of calling that pompous young fool you work for.”
The old man shook his head. “No, Ross. He quit way more than just his job with me. He gave up on an assignment that is—I’m sorry if this sounds dramatic—absolutely crucial to humanity.” He suddenly frowned. “I—I think,” he added weakly. “Bear with me, Ross. I’ll try to explain as I go along. But you see, Marconi left me high and dry. I needed him, and he let me down. He thought you would be happy to take it on, and he mentioned something about you.” Haarland glared at Ross and said, with a hint of bitterness, “A recommendation from Marconi right now is hardly a recommendation at all. But I don’t have much choice—and, besides, I took the liberty of calling that arrogant young fool you work for.”
“Mister Haarland!” Ross cried, outraged. “Oldham may not be any prize but really——”
“Mister Haarland!” Ross shouted, furious. “Oldham might not be anything special, but seriously——”
“Oh, you know he’s a fool. But he had a lot to say about you. Enough so that, if you want the assignment, it’s yours. As to the nature of the assignment itself——” Haarland hesitated, then said briskly, “The assignment itself has to do with a message my organization received via this longliner. Yes, a message. You’ll see. It has also to do with certain facts I’ve found in its log which, if I can ever get this damned thing working——There we are.”
“Oh, you know he’s an idiot. But he had plenty to say about you. Enough that if you want the assignment, it's yours. As for the details of the assignment itself——” Haarland paused, then continued decisively, “The assignment involves a message my organization got through this longliner. Yes, a message. You’ll see. It’s also related to certain facts I found in its log which, if I can ever get this damn thing working——There we go.”
He had succeeded in threading the film.
He had successfully threaded the film.
He snapped on the projector. On the screen appeared a densely packed block of numerals, rolling up and being replaced by new lines as fast as the eye could take them in. Haarland said, “Notice anything?”
He turned on the projector. A thick block of numbers appeared on the screen, scrolling up and being replaced by new lines as quickly as the eye could follow. Haarland said, “See anything?”
Ross swallowed. “If that stuff is supposed to mean anything to me,” he declared, “it doesn’t.”
Ross swallowed. “If that stuff is supposed to mean anything to me,” he said, “it doesn’t.”
Haarland frowned. “But Marconi said——Well, never mind.” He snapped off the projector. “That was the ship’s log, Ross. It doesn’t matter if you can’t read it; you wouldn’t, I suppose, have had much call for that sort of thing working for Oldham. It is a mathematical description of the routing of this ship, from the time it was space-launched 33until it arrived here yesterday. It took a long time, Ross. The reason that it took a long time is partly that it came from far away. But, even more, there is another reason. We were not this ship’s destination! Not the original destination. We weren’t even the first alternate—or the second alternate. To be exact, Ross, we were the seventh choice for this ship.”
Haarland frowned. “But Marconi said——Well, never mind.” He turned off the projector. “That was the ship’s log, Ross. It doesn’t matter if you can’t read it; I guess you wouldn’t have had much need for that sort of thing working for Oldham. It’s a mathematical overview of this ship's route, from the time it was launched into space 33 until it arrived here yesterday. It took a long time, Ross. The reason it took a long time is partly because it came from far away. But, even more importantly, there’s another reason. We weren’t this ship’s destination! Not the original destination. We weren’t even the first alternate—or the second alternate. To be precise, Ross, we were the seventh choice for this ship.”
Ross let go of his stanchion, floated a yard, and flailed back to it. “That’s ridiculous, Mr. Haarland,” he protested. “Besides, what has all this to do with——”
Ross let go of his support, drifted a bit, and struggled to get back to it. “That’s ridiculous, Mr. Haarland,” he said. “Besides, what does all this have to do with——”
“Bear with an old man,” said Haarland, with an amused gleam in his eye.
“Bear with an old man,” said Haarland, with a playful sparkle in his eye.
There was very little he could do but bear with him, Ross thought sourly. “Go on,” he said.
There was hardly anything he could do except put up with him, Ross thought bitterly. “Go on,” he said.
Haarland said professorially, “It is conceivable, of course, that a planet might be asleep at the switch. We could believe it, I suppose, if it seemed that the first-choice planet somehow didn’t pick the ship up when this longliner came into radar range. In that event, of course, it would orbit once or twice on automatics, and then select for its first alternate target—which it did. It might be a human failure in the GCA station—once.” He nodded earnestly. “Once, Ross. Not six times. No planet passes up a trading ship.”
Haarland said in a professorial tone, “It’s possible, of course, that a planet could be asleep at the wheel. We might believe it, I guess, if it looked like the first-choice planet somehow didn’t detect the ship when this longliner came into radar range. In that case, it would orbit once or twice on autopilot and then choose its first alternate target—which it did. It could be a human error at the GCA station—just once.” He nodded seriously. “Just once, Ross. Not six times. No planet overlooks a trading ship.”
“Mr. Haarland,” Ross exploded, “it seems to me that you’re contradicting yourself all over the place. Did six planets pass this ship up or didn’t six planets pass this ship up? Which is it? And why would anybody pass a longliner up anyhow?”
“Mr. Haarland,” Ross shouted, “it looks like you’re contradicting yourself everywhere. Did six planets pass this ship or didn’t they? Which is it? And why would anyone ignore a longliner anyway?”
Haarland asked, “Suppose the planets were vacant?”
Haarland asked, “What if the planets were empty?”
“What?” Ross was shaken. “But that’s silly! I mean, even I know that the star charts show which planets are inhabited and which aren’t.”
“What?” Ross was stunned. “But that’s ridiculous! I mean, even I know that the star charts show which planets are inhabited and which ones aren’t.”
“And suppose the star charts are wrong. Suppose the planets have become vacant. The people have died off, perhaps; their culture decayed.”
“And what if the star charts are wrong? What if the planets are deserted? The people might have died out, maybe; their culture has faded.”
Decay. Death and decay.
Decomposition. Mortality and decay.
Ross was silent for a long time. He took a deep breath. He said at last, “Sorry. I won’t interrupt again.”
Ross was quiet for a long time. He took a deep breath. He finally said, “Sorry. I won’t interrupt again.”
Haarland’s expression was a weft of triumph and relief. 34“Six planets passed this ship up. Remember Leverett’s ship fifteen years ago? Three planets passed that one before it came to us. Nine different planets, all listed on the traditional star charts as inhabited, civilized, equipped with GCA radars, and everything else needed. Nine planets out of communication, Ross.”
Haarland's face showed a mix of triumph and relief. 34“Six planets passed on this ship. Remember Leverett’s ship fifteen years ago? Three planets turned down that one before it got to us. Nine different planets, all marked on the usual star charts as inhabited, civilized, equipped with GCA radars, and everything else needed. Nine planets lost to communication, Ross.”
Decay, thought Ross. Aloud he said, “Tell me why.”
Decay, Ross thought. Out loud he said, “Tell me why.”
Haarland shook his head. “No,” he said strongly, “I want you to tell me. I’ll tell you what I can. I’ll tell you the message that this ship brought to me. I’ll tell you all I know, all I’ve told Marconi that he isn’t man enough to use, and the things that Marconi will never learn, as well. But why nine planets that used to be pretty much like our own planet are now out of communication, that you’ll have to tell me.”
Haarland shook his head. “No,” he said emphatically, “I want you to tell me. I’ll share what I can. I’ll share the message that this ship brought to me. I’ll share everything I know, all the things I’ve told Marconi that he isn’t capable of using, and the things that Marconi will never understand, too. But why nine planets that used to be almost like our own are now out of communication, that’s something you’ll need to explain to me.”
Forward rockets boomed; the braking blasts hurled Ross against the forward bulkhead. Haarland rummaged under the cot for space suits. He flung one at Ross.
Forward rockets thundered; the braking blasts slammed Ross against the forward bulkhead. Haarland searched under the cot for space suits. He tossed one at Ross.
“Put it on,” he ordered. “Come to the airlock. I’ll show you what you can use to find out the answers.” He slid into the pressure suit, dived weightless down the corridor, Ross zooming after.
“Put it on,” he said. “Come to the airlock. I’ll show you how to find the answers.” He slipped into the pressure suit and floated down the corridor, with Ross following closely behind.
They stood in the airlock, helmets sealed. Wordlessly Haarland opened the pet cocks, heaved on the lock door. He gestured with an arm.
They stood in the airlock, helmets locked. Without saying a word, Haarland opened the pet cocks and pulled on the lock door. He motioned with his arm.
Floating alongside them was a ship, a ship like none Ross had ever seen before.
Floating alongside them was a ship, a ship unlike any Ross had ever seen before.
..... 4
PICTURE Leif’s longboat bobbing in the swells outside Ambrose Light, while the twentieth-century liners steam past; a tiny, ancient thing, related to the new giants only as the Eohippus resembles the horse.
PICTURE Leif’s longboat bobbing in the swells outside Ambrose Light, while the twentieth-century liners steam past; a tiny, ancient thing, related to the new giants only as the Eohippus resembles the horse.
The ship that Haarland revealed was fully as great a contrast. Ross knew spaceships as well as any grounder could, both the lumbering interplanet freighters and the titanic longliners. But the ship that swung around Halsey’s Planet was a midget (fueled rocket ships must be huge); its jets were absurdly tiny, clearly incapable of blasting away from planetary gravity; its entire hull length was unbroken and sheer (did the pilot dare fly blind?).
The ship that Haarland showed was a huge contrast. Ross was familiar with spaceships like any grounder could be, from the slow interplanetary freighters to the massive longliners. But the ship that circled Halsey’s Planet was tiny (fueled rocket ships have to be big); its jets were ridiculously small, clearly unable to escape planetary gravity; its entire hull was continuous and smooth (did the pilot really dare to fly blind?).
The coupling connections were being rigged between the ships. “Come aboard,” said Haarland, spryly wriggling through the passage. Ross, swallowing his astonishment, followed.
The connection lines were being set up between the ships. “Come aboard,” said Haarland, quickly making his way through the passage. Ross, trying to hide his surprise, followed.
The ship was tiny indeed. When Ross and Haarland, clutching handholds, were drifting weightlessly in its central control cabin, they very nearly filled it. There was one other cabin, Ross saw; and the two compartments accounted for a good nine-tenths of the cubage of the ship. Where that left space for the combustion chambers and the fuel tanks, the crew quarters, and the cargo holds, Ross could not imagine. He said: “All right, Mr. Haarland. Talk.”
The ship was really small. When Ross and Haarland, gripping the handholds, were floating weightlessly in the main control cabin, they almost filled it. Ross noticed there was one other cabin, and the two rooms made up about ninety percent of the ship's space. He couldn’t figure out how there was room left for the combustion chambers, fuel tanks, crew quarters, and cargo holds. He said, “Alright, Mr. Haarland. Go ahead.”
36Haarland grinned toothily, his expression eerie in the flickering violet light that issued from a gutter around the cabin’s wall.
36Haarland grinned widely, his face looking unsettling in the flickering purple light coming from a gutter along the cabin's wall.
“This is a spaceship, Ross. It’s a pretty old one—fourteen hundred years, give or take a little. It’s not much to look at, compared with the up-to-date models you’re used to, but it’s got a few features that you won’t find on the new ones. For one thing, Ross, it doesn’t use rockets.” He hesitated. “Ask me what it does use,” he admitted, “and I can’t tell you. I know the name, because I read it: nucleophoretic drive. What nucleophoresis is and how it works, I can’t say. They call it the Wesley Effect, and the tech manual says something about squared miles of acceleration. Does that mean anything to you? No. How could it? But it works, Ross. It works well enough so that this little ship will get you where you’re going very quickly. The stars, Ross—it will take you to the stars. Faster than light. What the top speed is I have no idea; but there is a ship’s log here, too. And it has a three-month entry—three months, Ross!—in which this little ship explored the solar systems of fourteen stars.”
“This is a spaceship, Ross. It's pretty old—about fourteen hundred years, give or take. It's not much to look at compared to the modern models you’re used to, but it has a few features you won't find on the newer ones. For one thing, Ross, it doesn’t use rockets.” He paused. “If you ask me what it does use, I honestly can’t tell you. I know the term because I read it: nucleophoretic drive. I can’t explain what nucleophoresis is or how it works. They call it the Wesley Effect, and the tech manual mentions something about squared miles of acceleration. Does that ring any bells for you? No? How could it? But it works, Ross. It works well enough that this little ship will get you where you need to go really fast. The stars, Ross—it will take you to the stars. Faster than light. I have no idea what the top speed is; but there’s a ship's log here, too. And it has a three-month entry—three months, Ross!—where this little ship explored the solar systems of fourteen stars.”
Wide-eyed, Ross held motionless. Haarland paused. “Fourteen hundred years,” he repeated. “Fourteen hundred years this ship has been floating out here. And for all that time, the longliners have been crawling from star to star, while little hidden ships like this one could have carried a thousand times as much goods a million times faster. Maybe the time has come to get the ships out of hiding. I don’t know. I want to find out; I want you to find out for me. I’ll be specific, Ross. I need a pilot. I’m too old, and Marconi turned it down. Someone has to go out there——” he gestured to the blind hull and the unseen stars beyond—“and find out why nine planets are out of communication. Will you do it?”
Wide-eyed, Ross stood frozen. Haarland hesitated. “Fourteen hundred years,” he said again. “This ship has been drifting out here for fourteen hundred years. And all that time, the longliners have been moving from star to star, while little hidden ships like this one could have transported a thousand times more goods a million times faster. Maybe it’s time to bring the ships out of hiding. I don’t know. I want to find out; I want you to find out for me. I’ll be clear, Ross. I need a pilot. I’m too old, and Marconi refused. Someone has to go out there——” he gestured toward the blind hull and the unseen stars beyond—“and find out why nine planets are out of communication. Will you do it?”
Ross opened his mouth to speak, and a thousand questions competed for utterance. But what he said, barely aloud, was only: “Yes.”
Ross opened his mouth to speak, and a thousand questions were vying to be heard. But what he actually said, barely above a whisper, was simply: “Yes.”
The far-off stars—more than a thousand million of them in our galaxy alone. By far the greatest number of them drifted alone through space, or with only a stellar companion 37as utterly unlivable by reason of heat and crushing gravity as themselves. Fewer than one in a million had a family of planets, and most even of those could never become a home for human life.
The distant stars—over a billion of them in just our galaxy. Most of them wander alone through space, or only with another star that’s just as uninhabitable due to extreme heat and immense gravity. Less than one in a million has a system of planets, and even most of those could never support human life. 37
But out of a thousand million, any fraction may be a very large number, and the number of habitable planets was in the hundreds.
But out of a billion, even a small fraction can be a really big number, and the number of habitable planets was in the hundreds.
Ross had seen the master charts of the inhabited universe often enough to recognize the names as Haarland mentioned them: Tau Ceti II, Earth, the eight inhabitable worlds of Capella. But to realize that this ship—this ship!—had touched down on each of them, and on a hundred more, was beyond astonishment; it was a dream thing, impossible but unquestioned.
Ross had seen the master charts of the inhabited universe so many times that he could recognize the names as Haarland mentioned them: Tau Ceti II, Earth, the eight habitable worlds of Capella. But to understand that this ship—this ship!—had landed on each of them, and on a hundred more, was beyond shocking; it was a dream, impossible yet unquestionable.
Through Haarland’s burning, old eyes, Ross looked back through fourteen centuries, to the time when this ship was a scout vessel for a colonizing colossus. The lumbering giant drove slowly through space on its one-way trip from the planet that built it—was it semi-mythical Earth? The records were not clear—while the tiny scout probed each star and solar system as it drew within range. While the mother ship was covering a few hundred million miles, the scout might flash across parsecs to scan half a dozen worlds. And when the scout came back with word of a planet where humans could survive, they christened it with the name of the scout’s pilot, and the chartroom labored, and the ship’s officers gave orders, and the giant’s nose swerved through a half a degree and began its long, slow deceleration.
Through Haarland’s burning, old eyes, Ross looked back through fourteen centuries, to the time when this ship was a scout vessel for a colonizing giant. The lumbering behemoth moved slowly through space on its one-way trip from the planet that built it—was it semi-mythical Earth? The records weren’t clear—while the tiny scout explored each star and solar system as it came into range. While the mother ship was covering a few hundred million miles, the scout could zip across parsecs to check out half a dozen worlds. And when the scout returned with news of a planet where humans could survive, they named it after the scout’s pilot, and the chartroom worked hard, and the ship’s officers gave orders, and the giant’s nose turned through a half a degree and began its long, slow deceleration.
“Why slow?” Ross demanded. “Why not use the faster-than-light drive for the big ships?”
“Why slow?” Ross asked. “Why not use the faster-than-light drive for the bigger ships?”
Haarland grimaced. “I’ve got to answer that one for you sooner or later,” he said, “but let me make it later. Anyway, that’s what this ship was: a faster-than-light scout ship for a real longliner. What happened to the longliner the records don’t show; my guess is the colonists cannibalized it to get a start in constructing homes for themselves. But the scout ship was exempted. The captain of the expedition had it put in an orbit out here, and left alone. It’s been used a little bit, now and then—my great-grandfather’s father 38went clear to 40 Eridani when my great-grandfather was a little boy, but by and large it has been left alone. It had to be, Ross. For one thing, it’s dangerous to the man who pilots it. For another, it’s dangerous to—the Galaxy.”
Haarland frowned. “I’ve got to answer that one for you sooner or later,” he said, “but let’s make it later. Anyway, that’s what this ship was: a faster-than-light scout ship for a real longliner. The records don’t show what happened to the longliner; my guess is the colonists tore it apart to help build homes for themselves. But the scout ship was left alone. The captain of the expedition had it placed in orbit out here and just abandoned it. It’s been used a bit, here and there—my great-grandfather’s father went all the way to 40 Eridani when my great-grandfather was a kid, but mostly it has been neglected. It had to be, Ross. For one thing, it’s dangerous for the pilot. For another, it’s dangerous for—the Galaxy.”
Haarland’s view was anthropomorphic; the danger was not to the immense and uncaring galaxy, but to the sparse fester of life that called itself humanity.
Haarland saw things in a human-like way; the threat wasn't to the vast and indifferent galaxy, but to the small, struggling existence that referred to itself as humanity.
When the race abandoned Earth, it was a gesture of revulsion. Behind them they left a planet that had decimated itself in wars; ahead lay a cosmos that, in all their searches, had revealed no truly sentient life.
When the race left Earth, it was an act of disgust. They left behind a planet that had destroyed itself through wars; ahead was a universe that, despite all their searches, had shown no signs of truly intelligent life.
Earth was a crippled world, the victim of its playing with nuclear fission and fusion. But the techniques that gave them a faster-than-light drive gave them as well a weapon that threatened solar systems, not cities; that could detonate a sun as readily as uranium could destroy a building. The child with his forbidden matches was now sitting atop a munitions dump; the danger was no longer a seared hand or blinded eye, but annihilation.
Earth was a damaged world, suffering from its experiments with nuclear fission and fusion. But the same technologies that gave them faster-than-light travel also provided a weapon that threatened entire solar systems, not just cities; one that could ignite a sun just as easily as uranium could demolish a building. The child with his dangerous matches was now sitting on a stockpile of explosives; the risk was no longer a burned hand or a blinded eye, but total destruction.
And the decision had been made: secrecy. By what condign struggles the secrecy had been enforced, the secrecy itself concealed. But it had worked. Once the radiating colonizers had reached their goals, the nucleophoretic effect had been obliterated from their records and, except for a single man on each planet, from their minds.
And the decision was made: secrecy. The struggles that enforced the secrecy were hidden, but it worked. Once the far-reaching colonizers achieved their objectives, the nucleophoretic effect was wiped from their records and, except for one person on each planet, from their memories.
Why the single man? Why not bury it entirely?
Why the single guy? Why not just bury it completely?
Haarland said slowly, “There was always the chance that something would go wrong, you see. And—it has.”
Haarland said slowly, “There was always the chance that something could go wrong, you know. And—it has.”
Ross said hesitantly, “You mean the nine planets that have gone out of communication?”
Ross said hesitantly, “You mean the nine planets that are no longer in communication?”
Haarland nodded. He hesitated. “Do you understand it now?” he asked.
Haarland nodded. He paused. “Do you get it now?” he asked.
Ross shook his head dizzily. “I’m trying,” he said. “This little ship—it travels faster than light. It has been circling out here—how long? Fourteen hundred years? And you kept it secret—you and your ancestors before you because you were afraid it might be used in war?” He was frowning.
Ross shook his head, feeling dizzy. “I’m trying,” he said. “This little ship—it moves faster than light. It’s been out here for how long? Fourteen hundred years? And you kept it a secret—you and your ancestors before you—because you were worried it might be used in war?” He frowned.
“Not ‘afraid’ it would be used,” Haarland corrected gently. “We knew it would be used.”
“Not ‘afraid’ it would be used,” Haarland corrected softly. “We knew it would be used.”
39Ross grimaced. “Well, why tell me about it now? Do you expect me to keep it secret all the rest of my life?”
39 Ross frowned. “Well, why are you telling me about it now? Do you think I’m supposed to keep it a secret for the rest of my life?”
“I think you would,” Haarland said soberly.
“I think you would,” Haarland said gravely.
“But suppose I didn’t? Suppose I blabbed all over the Galaxy, and it was used in war?”
“But what if I didn’t? What if I spilled the beans all over the Galaxy, and it was used in a war?”
Haarland’s face was suddenly, queerly gray. He said, almost to himself, “It seems that there are things worse than war.” Abruptly he smiled. “Let’s find Ma.”
Haarland's face suddenly looked oddly gray. He said, almost to himself, “It seems like there are things worse than war.” Then, he smiled abruptly. “Let’s find Ma.”
They returned through the coupling and searched the longliner for the old woman. A Sonny told them, “Ma usually hangs around the meter room. Likes to see them blinking.” And there they found her.
They went back through the coupling and looked for the old woman on the longliner. A Sonny told them, “Ma usually stays in the meter room. She likes to watch the blinking lights.” And that’s where they found her.
“Hello, Haarland,” she smiled, flashing her superb teeth. “Did you find what you were looking for?”
“Hey, Haarland,” she smiled, showing off her perfect teeth. “Did you find what you were looking for?”
“Perfect, Ma. I want to talk to you under the seal.”
“Perfect, Mom. I want to talk to you confidentially.”
She looked at Ross. “Him?” she asked.
She looked at Ross. “Him?” she asked.
“I vouch for him,” Haarland said gravely. “Wesley.”
“I stand by him,” Haarland said seriously. “Wesley.”
She answered, “The limiting velocity is C.”
She replied, “The maximum speed is C.”
“But C2 is not a velocity,” Haarland said. He turned to Ross. “Sorry to make a mystery,” he apologized. “It’s a recognition formula. It identifies one member of what we call the Wesley families, or its messenger, to another. And these people are messengers. They were dispatched a couple of centuries ago by a Wesley family whose ship, for some reason, no longer could be used. Why?—I don’t know why. Try your luck, maybe you can figure it out. Ma, tell us the history again.”
“But C2 isn't a speed,” Haarland said. He turned to Ross. “Sorry to confuse you,” he apologized. “It’s a recognition formula. It connects one member of what we call the Wesley families, or its messenger, to another. And these people are messengers. They were sent out a couple of centuries ago by a Wesley family whose ship, for some reason, could no longer be used. Why?—I don’t know why. Give it a shot, maybe you can figure it out. Ma, tell us the history again.”
She knitted her brows and began to chant slowly:
She furrowed her brows and started to chant slowly:
“Ma,” said Haarland. “Thanks very much, but would you skip to the last one?”
“Mom,” Haarland said. “Thanks a lot, but could you go to the last one?”
Ma grinned.
Ma smiled.
“The message, please,” Haarland said broodingly.
“The message, please,” Haarland said thoughtfully.
Ma took a deep breath and rattled off: “L-sub-T equals L-sub-zero e to the minus-T-over-two-N.”
Ma took a deep breath and quickly said, “L-sub-T equals L-sub-zero e to the minus-T-over-two-N.”
Ross gaped. “That’s the message?”
Ross stared. “Is that the message?”
“Used to be more to it,” Ma said cheerfully “That’s all there is now, though. The darn thing doesn’t rhyme or anything. I guess that’s the most important part. Anyway, it’s the hardest.”
“Used to be more to it,” Ma said cheerfully. “That’s all there is now, though. The darn thing doesn’t rhyme or anything. I guess that’s the most important part. Anyway, it’s the hardest.”
“It’s not as bad as it seems,” Haarland told Ross. “I’ve asked around. It makes a very little sense.”
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” Haarland told Ross. “I’ve checked with a few people. It makes very little sense.”
“It does?”
“Really?”
“Well, up to a point,” Haarland qualified. “It seems to be a formula in genetics. The notation is peculiar, but it’s all explained, of course. It has something to do with gene loss. Now, maybe that means something and maybe it doesn’t. But I know something that does mean something: some member of a Wesley Family a couple of hundred years ago thought it was important enough to want to get it across to other Wesley families. Something’s happening. Let’s find out what it is, Ross.” The old man suddenly buried his face in his hands. In a cracked voice he mumbled, “Gene loss and war. Gene loss or war. God, I wish 41somebody would take this right out of my hands—or that I could drop with a heart attack this minute. You ever think of war, Ross?”
“Well, to a certain extent,” Haarland clarified. “It seems to be a formula in genetics. The notation is strange, but it’s all explained, of course. It has something to do with gene loss. Maybe that means something, and maybe it doesn’t. But I know something that does mean something: some member of a Wesley family a couple of hundred years ago thought it was important enough to want to share it with other Wesley families. Something’s going on. Let’s find out what it is, Ross.” The old man suddenly buried his face in his hands. In a shaky voice, he muttered, “Gene loss and war. Gene loss or war. God, I wish somebody would take this right out of my hands—or that I could just drop dead from a heart attack right now. You ever think about war, Ross?”
Shocked and embarrassed, Ross mumbled some kind of answer. One might think of war, good breeding taught, but one never talked about it.
Shocked and embarrassed, Ross mumbled some sort of answer. You might think of war, good upbringing suggested, but it was never something people talked about.
“You should,” the old man said hoarsely. “War is what this faster-than-light secrecy and identification rigmarole is all about. Right now war is impossible—between solar systems, anyhow, and that’s what counts. A planet might just barely manage to fit an invading multigeneration expedition at gigantic cost, but it never would. The fruits of victory—loot, political domination, maybe slaves—would never come back to the fitters of the expedition but to their remote descendants. A firm will take a flyer on a commercial deal like that, but no nation would accept a war on any such basis—because a conqueror is a man, and men die. With F-T-L—faster-than-light travel—they might invade Curnus or Azor or any of those other tempting dots on the master maps. Why not? Take the marginal population, hop them up with patriotic fervor and lust for booty, and ship them off to pillage and destroy. There’s at least a fifty per cent chance of coming out ahead on the investment, isn’t there? Much more attractive deal commercially speaking than our present longliners.”
“You should,” the old man said hoarsely. “War is what this faster-than-light secrecy and identification nonsense is all about. Right now, war is impossible—between solar systems, at least, and that’s what really matters. A planet might just barely manage to fit an invading multigeneration expedition at a huge cost, but it would never happen. The benefits of victory—loot, political control, maybe even slaves—would never return to the people who launched the expedition, but to their distant descendants. A company might take a chance on a commercial deal like that, but no nation would accept a war on such terms—because a conqueror is a person, and people die. With F-T-L—faster-than-light travel—they could invade Curnus or Azor or any of those other tempting spots on the big maps. Why not? Take the lower population, fire them up with patriotism and a desire for plunder, and send them off to loot and destroy. There’s at least a fifty percent chance of coming out on top with that investment, right? Much more appealing deal commercially than our current longliners.”
Ross had never seen a war. The last on Halsey’s planet had been the Peninsular Rebellion about a century and a half ago. Some half a million constitutional psychopathic inferiors had started themselves an ideal society with theocratic trimmings in a remote and unfruitful corner of the planet. Starved and frustrated by an unrealistic moral creed they finally exploded to devastate their neighboring areas and were quickly quarantined by a radioactive zone. They disintegrated internally, massacred their priesthood, and were permitted to disperse. It was regarded as a shameful episode by every dweller on the planet. It wasn’t a subject for popular filmreels; if you wanted to find out about the Peninsular Rebellion you went through many successive library doors and signed your name on lists, and were sternly questioned as to your age and scholarly qualifications 42and reasons for sniffing around such an unsavory mess.
Ross had never seen a war. The last one on Halsey’s planet was the Peninsular Rebellion about a hundred and fifty years ago. Around half a million self-proclaimed idealists had tried to create a perfect society with religious overtones in a remote and barren part of the planet. Starved and frustrated by an impossible moral code, they eventually exploded in violence, destroying neighboring areas and were quickly isolated by a radioactive zone. They collapsed from within, killed their leaders, and were allowed to scatter. It was seen as a disgraceful chapter by everyone on the planet. It wasn’t something people wanted to see in movies; if you wanted to learn about the Peninsular Rebellion, you had to go through several library doors, sign your name on lists, and answer strict questions about your age, qualifications, and motivations for digging into such an unpleasant topic. 42
Ross therefore had not the slightest comprehension of Haarland’s anxiety. He told him so.
Ross had no idea why Haarland was so anxious. He told him that.
“I hope you’re right,” was all the old man would say. “I hope you don’t learn worse.”
“I hope you're right,” was all the old man would say. “I hope you don’t find out something worse.”
The rest was work.
The rest was just work.
He had the Yard worker’s familiarity with conventional rocketry, which saved him some study of the fine-maneuvering apparatus of the F-T-L craft—but not much. For a week under Haarland’s merciless drilling he jetted the ship about its remote area of space, far from the commerce lanes, until the old man grudgingly pronounced himself satisfied.
He was familiar with traditional rocketry due to his experience as a yard worker, which saved him some time learning the intricate maneuvering systems of the F-T-L craft—but not by much. For a week, under Haarland's relentless training, he piloted the ship around its isolated region of space, far from the trade routes, until the old man reluctantly said he was satisfied.
There were skull-busting sessions with the Wesley drive, or rather with a first derivative of it, an insane-looking object which you could vaguely describe as a fan-shaped slide rule taller than a man. There were twenty-seven main tracks, analogues of the twenty-seven main geodesics of Wesley Space—whatever they were and whatever that was. Your cursor settings on the main tracks depended on a thirty-two step computation based on the apparent magnitudes of the twenty-seven nearest celestial bodies above a certain mass which varied according to yet another lengthy relationship. Then, having cleared the preliminaries out of the way, you began to solve for your actual setting on the F-T-L drive controls.
There were intense sessions with the Wesley drive, or rather with a first derivative of it, a bizarre-looking device that could vaguely be described as a fan-shaped slide rule taller than a person. There were twenty-seven main tracks, analogs of the twenty-seven main geodesics of Wesley Space—whatever those were and whatever that meant. Your cursor settings on the main tracks relied on a thirty-two step calculation based on the apparent magnitudes of the twenty-seven nearest celestial bodies above a certain mass, which changed based on yet another complicated formula. Then, after getting the preliminaries sorted out, you began to determine your actual setting on the F-T-L drive controls.
Somehow he mastered it, while Haarland, driving himself harder than he drove the youth who was to be his exploring eyes and ears, coached him and cursed him and—somehow!—kept his own complicated affairs going back on Halsey’s Planet. When Ross had finally got the theory of the Wesley Drive in some kind of order in his mind, and had learned all there was to learn about the other worlds, and had cut his few important ties with Halsey’s Planet, he showed up in Haarland’s planet-based office for a final, repetitive briefing.
Somehow he figured it out, while Haarland, pushing himself harder than he pushed the young guy who was supposed to be his eyes and ears, coached him, yelled at him, and—somehow!—managed to keep his own complicated business running back on Halsey’s Planet. When Ross finally got the theory of the Wesley Drive straightened out in his mind, had learned everything there was to know about the other worlds, and had broken his few important connections with Halsey’s Planet, he showed up in Haarland’s office on his planet for a final, repetitive briefing.
Marconi was there.
Marconi was present.
He had trouble meeting Ross’s eyes, but his handclasp 43was firm and his voice warmly friendly—and a little envious. “The very best, Ross,” he said. “I—I wish——” He hesitated and stammered. He said, in a flood, “Damn it, I should be going! Do a good job, Ross—and I hope you don’t hate me.” And he left while Ross, disturbed, went in to see old man Haarland.
He struggled to meet Ross's gaze, but his handshake was strong and his voice was friendly—and a bit envious. 43 “The very best, Ross,” he said. “I—I wish——” He paused and stumbled over his words. Then he blurted out, “Damn it, I should be going! Do a great job, Ross—and I hope you don’t hate me.” And he left as Ross, feeling unsettled, walked in to see old man Haarland.
Haarland spared no time for sentiment. “You’re cleared for space flight,” he growled. “According to the visa, you’re going to Sunward—in case anyone asks you between here and the port. Actually, let’s hear where you are going.”
Haarland didn’t waste any time on feelings. “You’re cleared for space flight,” he said gruffly. “According to the visa, you’re heading to Sunward—just in case someone asks you on your way to the port. In fact, let’s hear where you are going.”
Ross said promptly, “I am going on a mission of exploration and reconnaissance. My first proposed destination is Ragansworld; second Gemser, third Azor. If I cannot make contact with any of these three planets, I will select planets at random from the master charts until I find some Wesley Drive families somewhere. The contacts for the first three planets are: On Ragansworld, Foley Associates; on Gemser, the Franklin Foundation; on Azor, Cavallo Machine Tool Company. F-T-L contacts on other planets are listed in the appendix to the master charts. The co-ordinates for Ragansworld are——”
Ross said quickly, “I'm going on a mission to explore and gather information. My first choice is Ragansworld; second is Gemser, and third is Azor. If I can’t connect with any of these three planets, I’ll randomly pick other planets from the master charts until I locate some Wesley Drive families. The contacts for the first three planets are: on Ragansworld, Foley Associates; on Gemser, the Franklin Foundation; and on Azor, Cavallo Machine Tool Company. F-T-L contacts on other planets are listed in the appendix of the master charts. The coordinates for Ragansworld are——”
“Skip the co-ordinates,” mumbled Haarland, rubbing his eyes. “What do you do when you get in contact with a Wesley Drive family?”
“Forget the coordinates,” Haarland mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “What do you do when you reach out to a family on Wesley Drive?”
Ross hesitated and licked his lips. “I—well, it’s a little hard——”
Ross hesitated and licked his lips. “I—well, it’s a bit tricky——”
“Dammit,” roared Haarland, “I’ve told you a thousand times——”
“Damn it,” Haarland yelled, “I’ve told you a thousand times——”
“Yessir, I know. All I meant was I don’t exactly understand what I’m looking for.”
“Yeah, I get it. All I meant was I don’t really understand what I’m looking for.”
“If I knew what you were to look for,” Haarland rasped, “I wouldn’t have to send you out looking! Can’t you get it through your thick head? Something is wrong. I don’t know what. Maybe I’m crazy for bothering about it—heaven knows, I’ve got troubles enough right here—but we Haarlands have a tradition of service, and maybe it’s so old that we’ve kind of forgotten just what it’s all about. But it’s not so old that I’ve forgotten the family tradition. If I had a son, he’d be doing this. I counted on Marconi to be 44my son; now all I have left is you. And that’s little enough, heaven knows,” he finished bitterly.
“If I knew what you were supposed to look for,” Haarland said harshly, “I wouldn’t have to send you out searching! Can’t you understand? Something is off. I don’t know what it is. Maybe I’m crazy for worrying about it—God knows I have enough problems right here—but we Haarlands have a tradition of service, and maybe it’s so old that we’ve kind of forgotten what it’s really about. But it’s not so old that I’ve forgotten the family tradition. If I had a son, he’d be doing this. I relied on Marconi to be my son; now all I have left is you. And that’s barely enough, believe me,” he ended bitterly.
Ross, wounded, said by rote: “On landing, I will attempt at once to make contact with the local Wesley Drive family, using the recognition codes given me. I will report to them on all the data at hand and suggest the need for action.”
Ross, injured, said automatically: “As soon as we land, I’ll try to get in touch with the local Wesley Drive family, using the recognition codes I was given. I will update them on all the information I have and recommend that we take action.”
Haarland stood up. “All right,” he said. “Sorry I snapped at you. Come on; I’ll go up to the ship with you.”
Haarland stood up. “Okay,” he said. “Sorry for snapping at you. Let’s go; I’ll go up to the ship with you.”
And that was the way it happened. Ross found himself in the longliner, then with Haarland in the tiny, ancient, faster-than-light ship which had once been tender to the ship that colonized Halsey’s Planet. He found himself shaking hands with a red-eyed, suddenly-old Haarland, watching him crawl through the coupling to the longliner, watching the longliner blast away.
And that’s how it went down. Ross ended up in the longliner, then with Haarland in the small, old, faster-than-light ship that used to support the vessel that settled Halsey’s Planet. He found himself shaking hands with a red-eyed, suddenly aging Haarland, watching him squeeze through the coupling to the longliner, watching the longliner take off.
He found himself setting up the F-T-L course and throwing in the drive.
He found himself setting up the F-T-L course and putting in the drive.
..... 5
ROSS was lucky. The second listed inhabited planet was still inhabited.
ROSS was lucky. The second planet on the list was still inhabited.
He had not quite stopped shuddering from the first when the approach radar caught him. The first planet was given in the master charts as “Ragansworld. Pop. 900,000,000; diam. 9400 m.; mean orbit 0.8 AU,” and its co-ordinates went on to describe it as the fourth planet of a small G-type sun. There had been some changes made: the co-ordinates now intersected well inside a bright and turbulent gas cloud.
He hadn’t fully stopped shaking since the first time when the approach radar picked him up. The first planet was listed on the master charts as “Ragansworld. Pop. 900,000,000; diam. 9400 m.; mean orbit 0.8 AU,” and its coordinates described it as the fourth planet of a small G-type star. Some changes had been made: the coordinates now intersected deep within a bright and turbulent gas cloud.
It appeared that suppressing the F-T-L drive had not quite annihilated war.
It seemed that shutting down the F-T-L drive hadn't completely eliminated war.
But the second planet, Gemser—there, he was sure, was a world where nothing was seriously awry.
But the second planet, Gemser—he was sure that was a world where nothing was wrong.
He left the ship mumbling a name to himself: “Franklin Foundation.” And he was greeted by a corporal’s guard of dignified and ceremonially dressed men; they smiled at him, welcomed him, shook his hand, and invited him to what seemed to be the local equivalent of the administration building. He noticed disapprovingly that they didn’t seem to go in for the elaborate decontamination procedures of Halsey’s Planet, but perhaps, he thought, they had bred disease-resistance into their bloodlines. Certainly the four men in his guide party seemed hale and well-preserved, though the youngest of them was not less than sixty.
He stepped off the ship, quietly repeating a name to himself: “Franklin Foundation.” He was met by a group of men in dignified, ceremonial uniforms; they smiled at him, welcomed him, shook his hand, and invited him to what looked like the local administration building. He noticed with disapproval that they didn’t seem to follow the strict decontamination protocols of Halsey’s Planet, but maybe, he thought, they had developed disease resistance in their bloodlines. The four men accompanying him certainly appeared healthy and well-preserved, even though the youngest among them was at least sixty.
46“I would like,” he said, “to be put in touch with the Franklin Foundation, please.”
46“I would like,” he said, “to get in touch with the Franklin Foundation, please.”
“Come right in here,” beamed one of the four, and another said:
“Come right in here,” smiled one of the four, and another said:
“Don’t worry about a thing.” They held the door for him, and he walked into a small and sybaritically furnished room. The second man said, “Just a few questions. Where are you from?”
“Don’t worry about a thing.” They held the door for him, and he walked into a small, luxuriously furnished room. The second man said, “Just a few questions. Where are you from?”
Ross said simply, “Halsey’s Planet,” and waited.
Ross simply said, “Halsey’s Planet,” and waited.
Nothing happened, except that all four men nodded comprehendingly, and the questioner made a mark on a sheet of paper. Ross amplified, “Fifty-three light years away. You know—another star.”
Nothing happened, except all four men nodded in understanding, and the questioner made a note on a piece of paper. Ross added, “Fifty-three light years away. You know—another star.”
“Certainly,” the man said briskly. “Your name?”
“Sure,” the man replied quickly. “What’s your name?”
Ross told him, but with a considerable feeling of deflation. He thought wryly of his own feelings about the longlines and the far stars; he remembered the stir and community excitement that a starship meant back home. Still, Ross told himself. Halsey’s Planet might be just a back eddy in the main currents of civilization. Quite possibly on another world—this one, for instance—travelers from the stars were a commonplace. The field hadn’t seemed overly busy, though; and there was nothing resembling a spaceship. Unless—he thought with a sudden sense of shock—those rusting hulks clumped together at the edge of the field had once been spaceships. But that was hardly likely, he reassured himself. You just don’t let spaceships rust.
Ross told him, but he felt pretty deflated. He thought ironically about his own feelings regarding the long lines and the distant stars; he remembered the buzz and excitement a starship brought back home. Still, Ross reminded himself, Halsey’s Planet might just be a small side note in the bigger picture of civilization. It's quite possible that on another world—like this one, for example—travelers from the stars were just a regular occurrence. The field didn’t seem very busy, though, and there was nothing that looked like a spaceship. Unless—he thought with a sudden jolt—those rusting hulks clustered at the edge of the field had once been spaceships. But that seemed really unlikely, he reassured himself. You just don’t let spaceships rust.
“Sex?” the man asked, and “Age?” “Education?” “Marital status?” The questions went on for more time than Ross quite understood; and they seemed far from relevant questions for the most part; and some of them were hard questions to answer. “Tau quotient?” for instance; Ross blinked and said, with an edge to his voice:
“Sex?” the man asked, and “Age?” “Education?” “Marital status?” The questions went on for longer than Ross really understood; they seemed mostly irrelevant, and some of them were tough to answer. “Tau quotient?” for example; Ross blinked and said, with a sharpness in his voice:
“I don’t know what a tau quotient is.”
“I don’t know what a tau quotient is.”
“Put him down as zero,” one of the men advised, and the interlocutor nodded happily.
“Mark him as a zero,” one of the men suggested, and the other person nodded with satisfaction.
“Working-with-others rating?” he asked, beaming.
"Teamwork rating?" he asked, beaming.
Ross said with controlled irritation, “Look, I don’t know anything about these ratings. Will you take me to somebody who can put me in touch with the Franklin Foundation?”
Ross said with barely contained annoyance, “Look, I don’t know anything about these ratings. Can you take me to someone who can connect me with the Franklin Foundation?”
47The man who was sitting next to him patted him gently on the shoulder. “Just answer the questions,” he said comfortably. “Everything will be all right.”
47The man sitting next to him patted him softly on the shoulder. “Just answer the questions,” he said reassuringly. “Everything will be fine.”
Ross flared, “The hell everything will——”
Ross snapped, “The hell everything will——”
Something with electrified spikes in it hit him on the back of the neck.
Something with electrified spikes hit him on the back of the neck.
Ross yelled and ducked away; the man next to him returned a little rod to his pocket. He smiled at Ross. “Don’t feel bad,” he said sympathetically. “Go ahead now, answer the questions.”
Ross shouted and ducked away; the guy next to him put a small rod back in his pocket. He smiled at Ross. “Don’t feel bad,” he said kindly. “Go ahead now, answer the questions.”
Ross shook his head dazedly. The pain was already leaving his neck, but he felt nauseated by the suddenness and sharpness of it; he could not remember any pain quite like that in his life. He stood up waveringly and said, “Wait a minute, now——”
Ross shook his head in confusion. The pain was already fading from his neck, but he felt sick from the sudden and intense sensation; he couldn't recall ever experiencing pain like that before. He stood up unsteadily and said, “Wait a minute, now——”
This time it was the man on the other side, and the pain was about twice as sharp. Ross found himself on the floor, looking up through a haze. The man on his right kept the rod in his hand, and the expression on his face, while in no way angry, was stern. “Bad boy,” he said tenderly. “Why don’t you want to answer the questions?”
This time it was the guy on the other side, and the pain was about twice as intense. Ross found himself on the floor, looking up through a haze. The guy on his right held the rod in his hand, and the look on his face, while not angry, was serious. “Bad boy,” he said gently. “Why don’t you want to answer the questions?”
Ross gasped, “God damn it, all I want is to see somebody! Keep your dirty hands off me, you old fools!” And that was a mistake, as he learned in the blessedly few minutes before he passed out completely under the little rods held by the gentle but determined men.
Ross gasped, “Damn it, all I want is to see someone! Keep your filthy hands off me, you old fools!” And that was a mistake, as he realized in the few blessed minutes before he completely passed out under the little rods held by the gentle but determined men.
He answered all the questions—bound to a chair, with two of the men behind him, when he had regained consciousness. He answered every one. They only had to hit him twice.
He answered all the questions—tied to a chair, with two men behind him, when he came to. He answered every single one. They only had to hit him twice.
When they untied him the next morning, Ross had caught on to the local folkways quite well. The fatherly fellow who released him said, “Follow me,” and stood back, smiling but with one hand on one of the little rods. And Ross was careful to say:
When they untied him the next morning, Ross had picked up the local customs pretty well. The friendly guy who let him go said, “Follow me,” and stepped back, smiling but keeping one hand on one of the little rods. And Ross was careful to say:
“Yes, sir!”
“Sure thing!”
They rode in a three-wheeled car, and entered a barracks-like building. Ross was left alone next to a bed in a dormitory with half a hundred beds. “Just wait here,” the man said, smiling. “The rest of your group is out at their morning 48session now. When they come in for lunch you can join them. They’ll show you what to do.”
They drove in a three-wheeled car and entered a building that resembled a barracks. Ross was left alone next to a bed in a dormitory with about fifty beds. “Just wait here,” the man said with a smile. “The rest of your group is out at their morning session now. When they come in for lunch, you can join them. They'll show you what to do.”
Ross didn’t have too long to wait. He spent the time in conjecture as confused as it was fruitless; he had obviously done something wrong, but just what was it?
Ross didn’t have to wait long. He spent the time in speculation, as confused as it was pointless; he had clearly done something wrong, but what exactly was it?
If he had had twice as long he would have got no farther toward an answer than he was: nowhere. But a noise outside ended his speculations. He glanced toward the curiously shaped door—all the doors on this planet seemed to be rectangular. A girl of about eighteen was peering inside.
If he had had twice as long, he wouldn't have gotten any closer to an answer than he was: nowhere. But a noise outside interrupted his thoughts. He looked over at the oddly shaped door—most of the doors on this planet seemed to be rectangular. A girl about eighteen was looking in.
She stared at Ross and said, “Oh!” Then she disappeared. There were footsteps and whispers, and more heads appeared and blinked at him and were jerked back.
She looked at Ross and exclaimed, “Oh!” Then she vanished. There were footsteps and whispers, and more faces showed up, staring at him before quickly pulling back.
Ross stood up in wretched apprehension. All of a sudden he was fourteen years old again, and entering a new school where the old hands were giggling and whispering about the new boy. He swore sullenly to himself.
Ross stood up in miserable fear. Suddenly, he was fourteen again, starting a new school where the kids who had been there longer were laughing and whispering about the new kid. He cursed quietly to himself.
A new face appeared, halted for an inspection of Ross, and walked confidently in. The man was a good forty years old, Ross thought; perhaps a kind of overseer in this institution—whatever kind of institution it was. He approached Ross at a sedate pace, and he was followed through the door in single file by a couple score men and women. They ranged in age, Ross thought wonderingly, from the leader’s forty down to the late teens of the girl who had first peered in the door, and now was at the end of the procession.
A new person walked in, stopped to take a look at Ross, and then confidently stepped inside. Ross thought the man was around forty years old; maybe he was some sort of overseer in this place—whatever this place was. He walked towards Ross at a calm pace, followed by a couple dozen men and women in single file through the door. They seemed to be of various ages, Ross thought in amazement, from the leader's forty down to the late teens of the girl who had peeked in first and was now at the end of the line.
The leader said, “How old are you?”
The leader asked, “How old are you?”
“Why, uh——” Ross figured confusedly: this planet’s annual orbital period was roughly forty per cent longer than his own; fourteen into his age, multiplied by ten, making his age in their local calculations....
“Why, uh——” Ross thought in confusion: this planet’s yearly orbit was about forty percent longer than his own; dividing his age by fourteen, then multiplying by ten, gave his age in their local calculations....
“Why, I’m nineteen of your years old, about. And a half.”
“I'm about nineteen and a half years old.”
“Yes. And what can you do?”
“Yes. So, what can you do?”
“Look here, sir. I’ve been through all this once. Why don’t you go and ask those gentlemen who brought me here? And can anybody tell me where the Franklin Foundation is?”
“Listen, sir. I’ve already been through all of this. Why don’t you go ask those guys who brought me here? And can anyone tell me where the Franklin Foundation is?”
49The fortyish fellow, with a look of outrage, slapped Ross across the mouth. Ross knocked him down with a roundhouse right.
49The man in his forties, looking furious, slapped Ross in the face. Ross responded by taking him down with a powerful right hook.
A girl yelled, “Good for you, Junior!” and jumped like a wildcat onto a slim, gray-haired lady, clawing, and slapping. The throng dissolved immediately into a wild melee. Ross, busily fighting off the fortyish fellow and a couple of his stocky buddies, noted only that the scrap was youth against age, whatever it meant.
A girl shouted, “Good for you, Junior!” and jumped like a wildcat onto a slim, gray-haired woman, scratching and slapping. The crowd instantly turned into chaos. Ross, busy fending off the man in his forties and a couple of his stocky friends, only realized that the fight was between youth and age, whatever that meant.
“How dare you?” a voice thundered, and the rioters froze.
“How dare you?” a voice boomed, and the rioters stopped in their tracks.
A decrepit wreck was standing in the doorway, surrounded by three or four gerontological textbook cases only a little less spavined than he. “Glory,” a girl muttered despairingly. “It would be the minister.”
A worn-out old man was standing in the doorway, surrounded by three or four aging textbook examples that were only slightly less haggard than he was. “Wow,” a girl muttered in despair. “Of course it would be the minister.”
“What is the meaning of this brawl?” rolled from the wreck’s shriveled lips in a rich basso—no; rolled, Ross noted, from a flat perforated plate on his chest. There was a small, flesh-colored mike slung before his lips. “Who is responsible here?” asked the golden basso.
“What’s the point of this fight?” came from the wreck’s shriveled lips in a deep voice—no; came, Ross observed, from a flat, perforated plate on his chest. There was a small, flesh-colored microphone hanging in front of his lips. “Who’s in charge here?” asked the deep voice.
Ross’s fortyish assailant said humbly: “I am, sir. This new fellow here——”
Ross’s forty-something attacker said respectfully: “I am, sir. This new guy here——”
“Manners! Speak when you’re spoken to.”
“Manners! Speak when someone talks to you.”
Abjectly: “Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir.”
Abjectly: “Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir.”
“Silly fools!” the senile wreck hectored them. “I’m going to take no official notice of this since I’m merely passing through. Luckily for you this is no formal inspection. But you’ve lost your lunch hour with your asinine pranks. Now get back to your work and never let me hear of a disgraceful incident like this again from Junior Unit Twenty-Three.”
“Foolish people!” the old man scolded them. “I’m not going to make a big deal out of this since I’m just passing through. Fortunately for you, this isn’t a formal inspection. But you’ve wasted your lunch hour with your ridiculous antics. Now get back to work and don’t let me hear about another disgraceful incident like this from Junior Unit Twenty-Three again.”
He swept out with his retinue. Ross noted that some of the younger girls were crying and that the older men and women were glaring at him murderously.
He left with his group. Ross noticed that some of the younger girls were crying and that the older men and women were glaring at him with anger.
“We’ll teach you manners, you pup,” the foreman-type said. “You go on the dye vats this afternoon. Any more trouble and you’ll miss a few meals.”
“We’ll teach you some manners, you pup,” the foreman said. “You’re going to the dye vats this afternoon. One more issue and you’ll skip a few meals.”
Ross told him: “Just keep your hands off me, mister.”
Ross told him, “Just keep your hands off me, man.”
The foreman-type expanded into a beam of pleasure. “I thought you’d be sensible,” he said. “Everybody to the 50plant, now!” He collared a pretty girl of about Ross’s age. “Helena here is working out a bit of insolence on the dye vats herself. She’ll show you.” The girl stood with downcast eyes. Ross liked her face and wondered about her figure. Whatever it was like, it was covered from neck to knee by a loose shirt. But the older women wore fitted clothes.
The foreman smiled widely with satisfaction. “I knew you’d be reasonable,” he said. “Everyone to the 50 plant, now!” He grabbed a pretty girl who looked about Ross’s age. “Helena here is dealing with a bit of attitude on the dye vats herself. She’ll show you.” The girl stood there with her eyes downcast. Ross liked her face and wondered about her figure. Whatever it was, it was covered from neck to knee by a loose shirt. But the older women wore fitted clothes.
The foreman-type led a grand procession through the door. Helena told Ross: “I guess you’d better get in front of me in line. I go here——” She slipped in deftly, and Ross understood a little more of what went on here. The procession was in order of age.
The foreman-type led a big procession through the door. Helena told Ross, “I think you should get in front of me in line. I go here—” She slipped in smoothly, and Ross started to understand a bit more about what was happening. The procession was organized by age.
He had determined to drift for a day or two—not that he seemed to have much choice. The Franklin Foundation, supposedly having endured a good many years, would last another week while he explored the baffling mores of this place and found out how to circumvent them and find his way to the keepers of F-T-L on this world. Nobody would go anywhere with his own ship—not without first running up a setting for the Wesley Drive!
He decided to drift for a day or two—not that he had much choice. The Franklin Foundation, supposedly having lasted quite a few years, would hold out for another week while he figured out the confusing customs of this place and learned how to navigate them to reach the people in charge of F-T-L on this world. No one would go anywhere with his own ship—not without first setting up the Wesley Drive!
The line filed into a factory whose like Ross had never before seen. He had a fair knowledge of and eye for industrial processes; it was clear that the place was an electric-cable works. But why was the concrete floor dangerously cracked and sloppily patched? Why was the big enameling oven rumbling and stinking? Why were the rolling mills in a far corner unsupplied with guards and big, easy-to-hit emergency cutoffs? Why was the light bad and the air full of lint? Why did the pickling tank fume and make the workers around it cough hackingly? Most pointed of all, why did the dye vats to which Helena led him stink and slop over?
The line moved into a factory that Ross had never seen before. He had a good understanding of industrial processes; it was obvious that this place was making electric cables. But why was the concrete floor dangerously cracked and poorly patched? Why was the large enameling oven rumbling and smelling terrible? Why were the rolling mills in a far corner lacking safety guards and easy-to-reach emergency shutoffs? Why was the lighting poor and the air filled with lint? Why did the pickling tank emit fumes that made the workers around it cough harshly? Most importantly, why did the dye vats that Helena led him to smell awful and overflow?
There were grimy signs everywhere, including the isolated bay where braiding cord was dyed the standard code colors. The signs said things like: AGE IS A PRIVILEGE AND NOT A RIGHT. AGE MUST BE EARNED BY WORK. GRATITUDE IS THE INDEX OF YOUR PROGRESS TO MATURITY.
There were dirty signs everywhere, including the secluded bay where braiding cord was dyed the standard code colors. The signs read things like: AGE IS A PRIVILEGE AND NOT A RIGHT. AGE MUST BE EARNED THROUGH WORK. GRATITUDE IS THE MEASURE OF YOUR PROGRESS TOWARD MATURITY.
Helena said girlishly as she took his arm and hooked him out of the moving line: “Here’s Stinkville. Believe me, 51I’m not going to talk back again. After all, one’s maturity is measured by one’s acceptance of one’s environment, isn’t it?”
Helena said playfully as she took his arm and pulled him out of the moving line: “Welcome to Stinkville. Trust me, I won’t argue again. After all, your maturity is judged by how well you accept your surroundings, right?”
“Yeah,” said Ross. “Listen, Helena, have you ever heard of a place called the Franklin Foundation?”
“Yeah,” Ross said. “Hey, Helena, have you ever heard of a place called the Franklin Foundation?”
“No,” she said. “First you climb up here—golly! I don’t even know your name.”
“No,” she said. “First you climb up here—wow! I don’t even know your name.”
“Ross.”
"Ross."
“All right, Ross. First you climb up here and make sure the yarn’s running over the rollers right; sometimes it gets twisted around and then it breaks. Then you take one of the thermometers from the wall and you check the vat temperature. It says right on the thermometers what it should be for the different colors. If it’s off you turn that gas tap up or down, just a little. Then you check the wringer rolls where the yarn comes out. Watch your fingers when you do! The yarn comes in different thicknesses on the same thread so you have to adjust the wringer rolls so too much dye doesn’t get squeezed out. You can tell by the color; it shouldn’t be lighter after it goes through the rolls. But the yarn shouldn’t come through sloppy and drip dye on the floor while it travels to the bobbin——”
“All right, Ross. First, you climb up here and make sure the yarn's running over the rollers properly; sometimes it gets twisted and then it breaks. Then you grab one of the thermometers from the wall and check the vat temperature. It clearly states on the thermometers what it should be for the different colors. If it's off, you adjust that gas tap up or down a little. Then you check the wringer rolls where the yarn comes out. Watch your fingers when you do! The yarn comes in different thicknesses on the same thread, so you need to adjust the wringer rolls so that too much dye doesn’t get squeezed out. You can tell by the color; it shouldn’t be lighter after it passes through the rolls. But the yarn shouldn’t come through messy and drip dye on the floor while it travels to the bobbin——”
There was some more, equally uncomplicated. He took the yellow and green vats; she took the red and blue. They had worked in the choking stench and heat for perhaps three hours before Ross finished one temperature check and descended to adjust a gas tap. He found Helena, spent and gasping, on the floor, hidden from the rest of the shop by the bulky tanks.
There was a bit more, just as simple. He grabbed the yellow and green containers; she took the red and blue. They had been working in the unbearable smell and heat for about three hours when Ross completed a temperature check and went down to adjust a gas valve. He found Helena, exhausted and breathing heavily, on the floor, hidden from the rest of the shop by the heavy tanks.
“Heat knock you out?” he asked briskly. “Don’t try to talk. I’ll tote you over by the wall away from the burners. Maybe we’ll catch a little breeze from the windows there.” She nodded weakly.
“Is the heat getting to you?” he asked quickly. “Don’t try to talk. I’ll carry you over to the wall, away from the burners. Maybe we’ll get a little breeze from the windows there.” She nodded weakly.
He picked her up without too much trouble, carried her three yards or so to the wall, still isolated from the rest of the shop. She was ripely curved under that loose shirt, he learned. He set her down easily, crouching himself, and did not take his hands away.
He lifted her without much effort, carried her about three yards to the wall, still away from the rest of the shop. He discovered she had a nice shape under that loose shirt. He set her down gently, crouching as well, and kept his hands there.
It’s been a long time, he thought—and she was responding! Whether she knew it or not, there was a drowsy smile 52on her face and her body moved a little against his hands, pleasurably. She was breathing harder.
It’s been a while, he thought—and she was reacting! Whether she realized it or not, there was a sleepy smile 52on her face, and her body shifted slightly against his hands, in a pleasurable way. She was breathing more heavily.
Ross did the sensible thing and kissed her.
Ross made the smart move and kissed her.
Wildcat!
Wildcat!
Ross reeled back from her fright and anger, his face copiously scratched. “I’m dreadfully sorry,” he sputtered. “Please accept my sincerest——”
Ross recoiled in shock and anger, his face covered in scratches. “I’m really sorry,” he stammered. “Please accept my deepest——”
The flare-up of rage ended; she was sobbing bitterly, leaning against the wall, wailing that nobody had ever treated her like that before, that she’d be set back three years if he told anybody, that she was a good, self-controlled girl and he had no right to treat her that way, and what kind of degenerate was he, not yet twenty and going around kissing girls when everybody knew you went crazy from it.
The outburst of anger calmed down; she was crying hard, leaning against the wall, shouting that nobody had ever treated her that way before, that she'd be set back three years if he told anyone, that she was a good, self-controlled girl and he had no right to treat her like that, and what kind of loser was he, not even twenty and going around kissing girls when everyone knew it could drive you crazy.
He soothed her—from a distance. Her sobbing dropped to a bilious croon as she climbed the ladder to the yellow vat, tears still on her face, and checked its temperature.
He calmed her—from afar. Her crying faded to a low hum as she climbed the ladder to the yellow vat, tears still on her face, and checked its temperature.
Ross, wondering if he were already crazy from too much kissing of girls, mechanically resumed his duties. But she had responded. And how long had they been working? And wasn’t this shift ever going to end?
Ross, wondering if he was already losing it from too much kissing girls, automatically got back to his work. But she had definitely responded. How long had they been at it? And wasn’t this shift ever going to finish?
All the shifts ended in time. But there was a catch to it: There was always another shift. After the afternoon shift on the dye vats came dinner—porridge!—and then came the evening shift on the dye vats, and then sleep. The foreman was lenient, though; he let Ross off the vats after the end of the second day. Then it was kitchen orderly, and only two shifts a day. And besides, you got plenty to eat.
All the shifts wrapped up on schedule. But there was a catch: There was always another shift. After the afternoon shift on the dye vats came dinner—porridge!—and then the evening shift on the dye vats, followed by sleep. The foreman was pretty easygoing, though; he let Ross off the vats after the second day. Then it was kitchen orderly duty, and only two shifts a day. Plus, you got plenty to eat.
But it was a long, long way, Ross thought sardonically to himself, from the shining pictures he had painted to himself back on Halsey’s Planet. Ross the explorer, Ross the hero, Ross the savior of humanity....
But it was a really long way, Ross thought sarcastically to himself, from the bright pictures he had created in his mind back on Halsey’s Planet. Ross the explorer, Ross the hero, Ross the savior of humanity...
Ross, the semipermanent KP.
Ross, the long-term KP.
He had to admit it to himself: The expedition thus far had been a bust. Not only was it perfectly clear that there no longer was a Franklin Foundation on Gemser, but more had been lost than time and effort. For Ross himself, he silently admitted, was as close to lost as he ever wanted to be. He was, in effect, a prisoner, in a prison from which 53there was no easy escape as long as he was cursed with youthfulness....
He had to face the truth: the expedition had been a failure. It was obvious that there was no longer a Franklin Foundation on Gemser, but it wasn’t just time and effort that had been wasted. Ross himself realized that he was as close to being lost as he ever wanted to be. In a way, he was a prisoner in a situation from which there was no easy way out as long as he was stuck with his youthful energy....
Of course, the implications of that were that there was a perfectly easy escape in time. All he had to do was get old enough to matter, on this insane planet. Ninety, maybe. And then he would be perfectly free to totter out to the spaceport, dragoon a squad of juniors into lifting him into the ship, and take off....
Of course, the implications of that were that there was an easy way out with time. All he had to do was live long enough to count on this crazy planet. Maybe ninety. And then he would be totally free to shuffle over to the spaceport, recruit a team of younger folks to help him onto the ship, and take off...
Helena was some help. But only psychologically; she was pleasant company, but neither she nor anyone else in the roster of forty-eight to whom he was permitted to speak had ever heard of the Franklin Foundation, or F-T-L travel, or anything. Helena said, “Wait for Holiday. Maybe one of the grownups will tell you then?”
Helena was somewhat helpful. But only on a psychological level; she was nice to be around, but neither she nor anyone else in the group of forty-eight people he was allowed to talk to had ever heard of the Franklin Foundation, F-T-L travel, or anything else. Helena said, “Just wait for Holiday. Maybe one of the adults will tell you then?”
“Holiday?” Ross slid back and scratched his shoulder blades against the corner of his bed. Helena was sprawled on the floor, half watching a projected picture on the screen at the end of the dormitory.
“Holiday?” Ross leaned back and scratched his shoulder blades against the corner of his bed. Helena was stretched out on the floor, half-watching a movie on the screen at the end of the dormitory.
“Yes. You’re lucky, it’s only eight days off. That’s when Dobermann——” she pointed to the foreman——“graduates; he’s the only one this year. And we all move up a step, and the new classes come in, and then we all get everything we want. Well, pretty near,” she amended. “We can’t do anything bad. But you’ll see; it’s nice.”
“Yes. You’re lucky; it’s only eight days away. That’s when Dobermann—” she pointed to the foreman—“graduates; he’s the only one this year. And we all get a step up, and the new classes come in, and then we all get everything we want. Well, almost,” she corrected herself. “We can’t do anything bad. But you’ll see; it’s nice.”
Then the picture ended, and it was calisthenics time, and then lights out. Forty-eight men and women on their forty-eight bunks—the honor system appeared to work beautifully; there had been no signs of sex play that Ross had been able to see—slept the sleep of the innocent. While Ross, the forty-ninth, lay staring into the dark with rising hope.
Then the movie ended, and it was time for exercise, followed by lights out. Forty-eight men and women were on their forty-eight bunks—the honor system seemed to be working perfectly; there were no signs of any sexual activity that Ross could see—sleeping the sleep of the innocent. Meanwhile, Ross, the forty-ninth, lay there staring into the dark with growing hope.
In the kitchen the next morning he got more information from Helena. Holiday seemed to be a cross between saturnalia and Boy’s Week; for one day of the year the elders slightly relaxed their grip on the reins. On that day alone one could Speak Before Being Spoken To, Interrupt One’s Elders, even Leave the Room without Being Excused.
In the kitchen the next morning, he got more information from Helena. Holiday seemed to be a mix between a wild party and a guys' week; for one day of the year, the elders let up a bit on their control. On that day alone, you could Speak Before Being Spoken To, Interrupt Your Elders, and even Leave the Room without Being Excused.
Whee, Ross thought sourly. But still....
Whee, Ross thought bitterly. But still....
The foreman, Dobermann, once you learned how to handle him, wasn’t such a bad guy. Ross, studying his habits, 54learned the proper approach and used it. Dobermann’s commonest complaint was of irresponsibility—irresponsibility when some thirty-year-old junior was caught sneaking into line ahead of his proper place, irresponsibility when Ross forgot to make his bed before stumbling out in the dark to his kitchen shift, one awful case of irresponsibility when Helena thoughtlessly poured cold water into the cooking vat while it was turned on. There was a sizzle, a crackle, and a puff of steam, and Helena was weeping over a broken heating element.
The foreman, Dobermann, wasn't that bad once you figured out how to deal with him. Ross studied his habits, 54 figured out the right way to approach him, and went with it. Dobermann’s biggest complaint was always about irresponsibility—like when some thirty-year-old junior tried to sneak ahead in line, or when Ross forgot to make his bed before stumbling into the kitchen for his shift in the dark. There was one really bad moment when Helena carelessly poured cold water into the cooking vat while it was still on. There was a sizzle, a crackle, a puff of steam, and Helena ended up crying over a broken heating element.
Dobermann came storming over, and Ross saw his chance. “That is very irresponsible of you, Helena,” he said coldly, back to Dobermann but entirely conscious of his presence. “If Junior Unit Twenty-Three was all as irresponsible as you, it would reflect badly on Mr. Dobermann. You don’t know how lucky you are that Mr. Dobermann is so kind to you.”
Dobermann came rushing over, and Ross saw his opportunity. “That’s really irresponsible of you, Helena,” he said coolly, facing away from Dobermann but fully aware of him being there. “If Junior Unit Twenty-Three were as irresponsible as you, it would look bad on Mr. Dobermann. You have no idea how lucky you are that Mr. Dobermann is being so nice to you.”
Helena’s weeping dried up instantly; she gave Ross one furious glance, and lowered her eyes before Dobermann. Dobermann nodded approvingly to Ross as he waded into Helena; it was a memorable tirade, but Ross heard only part of it. He was looking at the cooking vat; it was a simple-minded bit of construction, a spiral of resistance wire around a ceramic core. The core had cracked and one end of the wire was loose; if it could be reconnected, the cracked core shouldn’t matter much—the wire was covered with insulation anyhow. He looked up and opened his mouth to say something, then remembered and merely stood looking brightly attentive.
Helena's tears stopped immediately; she shot Ross a furious look and then glanced down in front of Dobermann. Dobermann nodded in approval at Ross as he approached Helena; it was an impressive outburst, but Ross only caught part of it. He was focused on the cooking vat; it was a straightforward setup, a coil of resistance wire around a ceramic center. The center had cracked, and one end of the wire was loose; if it could be reattached, the cracked center shouldn't be a big issue—the wire was insulated anyway. He looked up and opened his mouth to say something but then remembered and just stood there looking attentively.
“——looks like you want to go back to the vats,” the foreman was finishing. “Well, Helena, if that’s what you want we can make you happy. This time you’ll be by yourself, too; you won’t have Ross to help you out when the going’s rough. Will she, Ross?”
“——looks like you want to go back to the vats,” the foreman was finishing. “Well, Helena, if that’s what you want we can make you happy. This time you’ll be by yourself, too; you won’t have Ross to help you out when things get tough. Will she, Ross?”
“No, sir,” Ross said immediately. “Sir?”
“No, sir,” Ross replied right away. “Sir?”
Dobermann looked back at him, frowning. “What?”
Dobermann glanced back at him, frowning. “What?”
“I think I can fix this,” Ross said modestly.
“I think I can fix this,” Ross said humbly.
Dobermann’s eyes bulged. “Fix it?”
Dobermann's eyes widened. “Fix it?”
“Yes, sir. It’s only a loose wire. Back where I come from, 55we all learned how to take care of things like that when we were still in school. It’s just a matter of——”
“Yes, sir. It’s just a loose wire. Where I come from, 55we all learned how to handle things like that when we were still in school. It’s just a matter of——”
“Now, hold on, Ross”; the foreman howled. “Tampering with a machine is bad enough, but if you’re going to turn out to be a liar, too, you’re going just too far! School, indeed! You know perfectly well, Ross, that even I won’t be ready for school until after Holiday. Ross, I knew you were a troublemaker, knew it the first day I set eyes on you. School! Well, we’ll see how you like the school I’m going to send you to!”
“Now, hold on, Ross,” the foreman yelled. “Messing with a machine is bad enough, but if you're going to turn out to be a liar too, you're really crossing the line! School, really! You know very well, Ross, that even I won’t be ready for school until after the Holiday. Ross, I knew you were trouble, I knew it the first day I laid eyes on you. School! Well, we’ll see how you like the school I’m going to send you to!”
The vats weren’t so bad the second time. Even though the porridge was cold for two days, until somebody got around to delivering a different though equally worn-out cooking vat.
The vats weren’t too bad the second time. Even though the porridge was cold for two days, until someone finally got around to bringing a different but equally old cooking vat.
Helena passed out from the heat three times. And when, on the third time, Ross, goaded beyond endurance, kissed her again, there were no hysterics.
Helena fainted from the heat three times. And when, on the third time, Ross, pushed to his limit, kissed her again, there were no dramatic reactions.
..... 6
FROM birth to puberty you were an infant. From puberty to Dobermann’s age, a junior. For ten years after that you went to school, learning the things you had neither the need nor the right to know before.
FROM birth to puberty you were a baby. From puberty to Dobermann’s age, you were a young person. For ten years after that you went to school, learning things you didn’t need or have the right to know before.
And then you were Of Age.
And then you became an adult.
Being Of Age meant much, much more than voting, Ross found out. For one thing, it meant freedom to marry—after the enforced sexlessness of the junior years and the directed breeding via artificial insemination of the Scholars. It meant a healthy head start on seniority, which carried with it all offices and all power.
Being Of Age meant so much more than just voting, Ross discovered. For one thing, it meant the freedom to marry—after the forced abstinence of the junior years and the controlled breeding through artificial insemination of the Scholars. It meant a solid advantage when it came to seniority, which came with all the positions and all the power.
It meant freedom.
It meant liberation.
As a bare beginning, it meant the freedom to command any number of juniors or scholars. On Ross’s last punitive day in the dye vats, a happy ancient commandeered the entire staff to help set shrubs in his front lawn—a good dozen acres of careful landscaping it was, and the prettiest sight Ross had seen on this ugly planet.
As a basic start, it meant the freedom to direct any number of junior staff or students. On Ross's last day of punishment in the dye vats, an enthusiastic older man took charge of the whole team to help plant shrubs in his front yard—a good twelve acres of meticulous landscaping it was, and the most beautiful sight Ross had seen on this ugly planet.
When they got back to the dye vats, the yellow and blue had boiled over, and broken strands of yarn had fouled all the bobbins. Dobermann raged—at the juniors.
When they returned to the dye vats, the yellow and blue had spilled over, and tangled pieces of yarn had messed up all the bobbins. Dobermann was furious—at the juniors.
But then Dobermann’s raging came to an end forever. It was the night before Holiday, and there was a pretty ceremony as he packed his kit and got ready to turn Junior Unit 57Twenty-three over to his successor. Everyone was scrubbed, and though a certain amount of license in regard to neatness was allowed between dinner and lights out, each bunk was made and carefully smoothed free of wrinkles. After half an hour of fidgety waiting, Dobermann called—needlessly—for attention, and the minister came in with his ancient retinue.
But then Dobermann's raging came to an end for good. It was the night before the holiday, and there was a nice ceremony as he packed his things and got ready to hand over Junior Unit 57Twenty-three to his successor. Everyone was cleaned up, and while a bit of leeway regarding neatness was allowed between dinner and lights out, each bunk was made and carefully smoothed out to be wrinkle-free. After half an hour of restless waiting, Dobermann called—unnecessarily—for attention, and the minister came in with his old entourage.
The rich mechanical voice boomed out from his breastplate: “Junior Dobermann, today you are a man!”
The deep mechanical voice echoed from his chest plate: “Junior Dobermann, today you become a man!”
Dobermann stood with his head bowed, silent and content. Junior Unit Twenty-Three chanted antiphonally: “Good-by, Junior Dobermann!”
Dobermann stood with his head down, quiet and satisfied. Junior Unit Twenty-Three chanted back and forth: “Goodbye, Junior Dobermann!”
The retinue took three steps forward, and the minister boomed, “Beauty comes with age. Age is beauty!”
The group stepped forward, and the minister announced, “Beauty comes with age. Age is beauty!”
And the chorus: “Old heads are wisest!” Ross, standing as straight as any of them, faked the words with his lips and tongue, and wondered how many repetitions had drilled those sentiments into Junior Unit Twenty-Three.
And the chorus: “Old heads are wisest!” Ross, standing as straight as the rest of them, moved his lips to fake the words and thought about how many times those sentiments had been drilled into Junior Unit Twenty-Three.
There were five more chants, and five responses, and then the minister and his court of four were standing next to Dobermann. Breathing heavily from his exertions, the minister reached behind him and took a book from the hands of the nearest of his retinue. He said, panting, “Scholar Dobermann, in the Book lies the words of the Fathers. Read them and learn.”
There were five more chants and five responses, and then the minister and his four attendants were standing next to Dobermann. Breathing heavily from his efforts, the minister reached behind him and took a book from the hands of the closest member of his group. He said, panting, “Scholar Dobermann, in this Book are the words of the Fathers. Read them and learn.”
The chorus cried thrice, “The Word of the Fathers Is Law.” And then the minister touched Dobermann’s hand, and in solemn silence, left.
The chorus shouted three times, “The Word of the Fathers Is Law.” Then the minister touched Dobermann’s hand and left in solemn silence.
As soon as the elders had gone, the juniors flocked around Dobermann to wish him well. There was excited laughter in the congratulations, and a touch of apprehension too: Dobermann, with all his faults, was a known quantity, and the members of Junior Unit Twenty-Three were beginning to look a little fearfully at the short, redheaded youth who, from the next day on, would be Dobermann’s successor.
As soon as the elders left, the younger ones gathered around Dobermann to congratulate him. There was a mix of excited laughter and some anxiety: Dobermann, despite his flaws, was a familiar figure, and the members of Junior Unit Twenty-Three were starting to feel a bit apprehensive about the short, redheaded kid who would be taking over for Dobermann starting the next day.
Ross promised himself: He can be good or bad, a blessing or a problem. But he won’t be my problem. I’m getting out of here tomorrow!
Ross promised himself: He can be good or bad, a blessing or a problem. But he won’t be my problem. I’m getting out of here tomorrow!
Holiday.
Vacation.
58“Oh, it’s fun,” Helena told him enthusiastically. “First you get up early to get the voting out of the way——”
58“Oh, it’s so much fun,” Helena said excitedly. “First, you wake up early to get the voting done——”
“Voting?”
"Voting?"
“Sure. Don’t they vote where you come from? I thought everybody voted. That’s democracy, like we have it here.”
“Sure. Don’t people vote where you’re from? I thought everyone voted. That’s democracy, like we have it here.”
He sardonically quoted one of the omnipresent wall signs: “THE HAPPINESS OF THE MAJORITY MEANS THE HAPPINESS OF THE MINORITY.” He had often wondered what, if anything, it meant. But Helena solemnly nodded.
He sarcastically quoted one of the ever-present wall signs: “THE HAPPINESS OF THE MAJORITY MEANS THE HAPPINESS OF THE MINORITY.” He had often wondered what, if anything, it meant. But Helena seriously nodded.
They were whispering from their adjoining cots by dim, false dawn filtering through the windows on Holiday morning. They were not the only whisperers. Things were relaxing already.
They were whispering from their neighboring cots as the faint light of dawn crept through the windows on Holiday morning. They weren't the only ones whispering. Things were already starting to feel more relaxed.
“Ross,” Helena said.
"Ross," Helena said.
“Yes?”
"Yes?"
“I thought maybe you might not know. On Holiday if you, ah, want to do that again you don’t have to wait until I faint. Ah, of course you don’t do it right out in the open.” Overcome by her own daring she buried her head under the coarse blanket.
“I thought you might not know. On Holiday, if you want to do that again, you don’t have to wait until I faint. Of course, you shouldn’t do it out in the open.” Overcome by her own boldness, she buried her head under the rough blanket.
Fine, thought Ross wearily. Once a year—or did Holiday come once a year?—the kids were allowed to play “Spin The Bottle.” No doubt their elders thought it was too cute for words: mere tots of thirty and thirty-five childishly and innocently experimenting with sex. Of course it would be discreetly supervised so that nobody would Get In Trouble.
Fine, Ross thought wearily. Once a year—or did it happen once a year?—the kids were allowed to play “Spin The Bottle.” No doubt the adults thought it was adorable: kids in their thirties and thirty-five playfully and innocently exploring relationships. Of course, it would be supervised discreetly so that nobody would get in trouble.
He was quite sure Helena’s last two faints had been unconvincing phonies.
He was pretty sure Helena's last two fainting spells were just fake.
The wake-up whistle blew at last. The chattering members of Junior Unit Twenty-Three dawdled while they dressed, and the new foreman indulgently passed out shabby, smutted ribbons which the girls tied in their hair. They had sugar on their mush for breakfast, and Ross’s stomach came near turning as he heard burbles of gratitude at the feast.
The wake-up whistle finally blew. The chattering members of Junior Unit Twenty-Three took their time getting dressed, and the new foreman generously handed out worn, dirty ribbons that the girls tied in their hair. They had sugar on their mush for breakfast, and Ross felt his stomach churn as he heard the grateful murmurs about the meal.
With pushing and a certain amount of inexpert horseplay they formed a column of fours and hiked from the 59hall—from the whole factory complex, indeed, along a rubberized highway.
With some shoving and a bit of clumsy fun, they lined up in groups of four and walked from the 59hall—through the entire factory complex, in fact, along a rubberized road.
Once you got out of the factory area things became pleasanter by the mile. Hortatory roadside signs thinned out and vanished. Stinking middens of industrial waste were left behind. And then the landscape was rolling, sodded acres with the road pleasantly springy underfoot, the air clean and crisp.
Once you left the factory area, everything got nicer mile by mile. Encouraging roadside signs faded away and disappeared. The disgusting piles of industrial waste were far behind. Then the landscape opened up with rolling fields, the road feeling pleasantly springy underfoot, and the air was clean and fresh.
They oohed and aahed at houses glimpsed occasionally in the distance—always rambling, one-story affairs that looked spanking-new.
They marveled at the houses they occasionally spotted in the distance—always sprawling, single-story homes that appeared brand new.
Once a car overhauled them on the highway and slowed to a crawl. It was a huge thing, richly upholstered within. A pair of grimlooking youths were respectively chauffeur and footman; the passenger waved at the troop from Junior Twenty-Three and grinned out of a fantastic landscape of wrinkles. Ross gaped. Had he thought the visiting minister was old? This creature, male or female, was old.
Once a car zoomed past them on the highway and slowed to a crawl. It was a massive vehicle, luxuriously upholstered inside. A couple of stern-looking young men acted as the driver and footman; the passenger waved at the group from Junior Twenty-Three and smiled from a sea of deep wrinkles. Ross stared in disbelief. Had he thought the visiting minister was old? This person, whether male or female, was old.
After the car sped on, to the cheers of the marchers, there was happy twittering speculation. Junior Twenty-Three didn’t recognize the Citizen who had graciously waved to them, but they thought he—or she?—was wonderful. So dignified, so distinguished, so learned, so gracious, so democratic!
After the car zoomed past amid the cheers of the marchers, there was excited chatter about what had just happened. Junior Twenty-Three didn’t recognize the Citizen who had kindly waved to them, but they thought he—or she?—was amazing. So dignified, so distinguished, so knowledgeable, so gracious, so democratic!
“Wasn’t it sweet of him?” Helena burbled. “And I’m sure he must be somebody important connected with the voting, otherwise he’d just vote from home.”
“Wasn’t that nice of him?” Helena gushed. “And I’m sure he’s someone important involved in the voting, otherwise he’d just vote from home.”
Ross’s feet were beginning to hurt when they reached the suburban center. To the best of his recollection, they were no more than eight or ten kilos from the field and his starship. Backtrack on the road to the suburban center about three kilos, take the fork to the right, and that would be that.
Ross’s feet were starting to hurt when they reached the suburban center. As far as he could remember, they were only about eight or ten kilometers from the field and his starship. Backtrack on the road to the suburban center for about three kilometers, take the fork to the right, and that would be it.
Junior Twenty-Three reached a pitch of near-ecstasy marveling at the low, spacious buildings of the center. Through sweeping, transparent windows they saw acres of food and clothing in the shopping center; the Drive-In Theater was an architectural miracle. The Civic Center almost finished them off, with its statue of Equal Justice Under the Law (a dignified beldame whose chin and nose 60almost met, leaning on a gem-crusted crutch) and Civic Virtue (in a motorized wheelchair equipped with an emergency oxygen tent, Lindbergh-Carrel auxiliary blood pump and an artificial kidney).
Junior Twenty-Three reached a level of near-ecstasy, marveling at the low, spacious buildings of the center. Through large, clear windows, they saw acres of food and clothing in the shopping mall; the Drive-In Theater was an architectural wonder. The Civic Center nearly overwhelmed them, featuring its statue of Equal Justice Under the Law (a dignified woman whose chin and nose almost touched, leaning on a gem-encrusted crutch) and Civic Virtue (in a motorized wheelchair equipped with an emergency oxygen tent, Lindbergh-Carrel auxiliary blood pump, and an artificial kidney). 60
Merry oldsters were everywhere in their cars and wheelchairs, gaily waving at the kids. Only one untoward incident marred their prevoting tour of inspection. A thick-headed young man mistakenly called out a cheerful: “Life and wisdom, ma’am!” to a beaming oldster.
Merry seniors were everywhere in their cars and wheelchairs, happily waving at the kids. Only one unfortunate incident interrupted their pre-voting tour. A thick-headed young man mistakenly shouted a cheerful: “Life and wisdom, ma’am!” to a smiling senior.
“Ma’am, is it?” the oldster roared through his throat mike and amplifier in an unmistakable baritone. “I’ll ma’am you, you wise punk!” He spun his wheelchair on a decishield, threw it into high and roared down on the offender, running him over. The boy covered himself as well as he could while the raging old man backed over him again and ran over him again. His ordeal ended when the oldster collapsed forward in the chair, hanging from his safety belt.
“Ma’am, is it?” the old man bellowed through his throat mic and amplifier in a booming voice. “I’ll ma’am you, you smartass!” He spun his wheelchair around, shifted into high gear, and charged at the kid, running him over. The boy did his best to shield himself as the furious old man backed over him again and ran him over once more. His nightmare ended when the old man fell forward in the chair, dangling from his safety belt.
The boy got up with tire marks on him and groaned: “Oh, lord! I’ve hurt him.” He appealed hysterically: “What’ll I do? Is he dead?”
The boy got up with tire marks on him and groaned: “Oh, no! I’ve hurt him.” He pleaded desperately: “What am I going to do? Is he dead?”
Another Senior Citizen buzzed up and snapped: “Cut in his L-C heart, you booby!”
Another senior citizen chimed in and snapped: “Cut it out, you fool!”
The boy turned on the Lindbergh-Carrel pump, trembling. The white-faced juniors of Twenty-Three watched as the tubes to the oldster’s left arm throbbed and pulsed. A massive sigh went up when the old man’s eyes opened and he sat up groggily. “What happened?”
The boy switched on the Lindbergh-Carrel pump, shaking a bit. The pale-faced juniors of Twenty-Three observed as the tubes connected to the elderly man's left arm throbbed and pulsed. A huge sigh of relief escaped when the old man's eyes opened and he sat up, looking disoriented. “What’s going on?”
“You died again, Sherrington,” said the other elder. “Third time this week—good thing there was a responsible person around. Now get over to the medical center this minute and have a complete checkup. Hear me?”
“You died again, Sherrington,” said the other elder. “Third time this week—good thing there was a responsible person around. Now get over to the medical center right now and get a full checkup. Got it?”
“Yes, Dad,” Sherrington said weakly. He rolled off in low gear.
“Yes, Dad,” Sherrington said weakly. He shifted into low gear.
His father turned to the youngster who stood vacantly rubbing the tire marks on his face. “Since it’s Holiday,” he grated, “I’ll let this pass. On any other day I would have seen to it that you were set back fifteen years for your disgraceful negligence.”
His father turned to the kid who stood blankly rubbing the tire marks off his face. “Since it’s a holiday,” he said sternly, “I’ll let this slide. On any other day, I would have made sure you were set back fifteen years for your careless negligence.”
Ross knew by then what that meant, and shuddered with 61the rest. It amounted to a death sentence, did fifteen additional years of the grinding toil and marginal diet of a junior.
Ross knew by that point what it meant and shuddered along with the others. It was basically a death sentence—fifteen more years of exhausting labor and a meager diet like a junior. 61
Somewhat dampened they proceeded to the Hall of Democracy, a glittering place replete with slogans, statues, and heroic portraits of the heroic aged. Twenty-Three huddled together as it joined with a stream of juniors from the area’s other factory units. Most of them were larger than the cable works; many of them, apparently, involved more wearing and hazardous occupations. Some groups coughed incessantly and were red-eyed from the irritation of some chemical. Others must have been heavy-manual-labor specialists. They were divided into the hale, whose muscles bulged amazingly, and the dying—men and women who obviously could not take the work but who were doing it anyway.
Somewhat subdued, they made their way to the Hall of Democracy, a dazzling space filled with slogans, statues, and heroic portraits of the elderly heroes. Twenty-Three grouped together as they merged with a crowd of juniors from the nearby factory units. Most of these factories were bigger than the cable works; many, it seemed, involved more exhausting and dangerous jobs. Some groups were continuously coughing and had red eyes from irritation caused by some chemical. Others appeared to be specialists in heavy manual labor. They were separated into the fit, whose muscles bulged impressively, and the struggling—men and women who clearly couldn’t handle the work but were doing it anyway.
They seated themselves at long benches, with push buttons at each station. Helena, next to him, explained the system to Ross. Voting was universal and simultaneous, in all the Halls of Democracy around the planet and from all the homes of the Senior Citizens who did not choose to vote from a Hall. Simultaneously the votes were counted at a central station and the results were flashed to screens in the Centers and homes. She said a number of enthusiastic things about Democracy while Ross studied a sheet on which the candidates and propositions were listed.
They sat down at long benches, each equipped with push buttons. Helena, sitting next to him, explained the system to Ross. Voting was universal and simultaneous, happening in all the Halls of Democracy around the world and from all the homes of Senior Citizens who opted not to vote from a Hall. At the same time, the votes were counted at a central station, and the results were displayed on screens in the Centers and homes. She shared several enthusiastic thoughts about Democracy while Ross reviewed a sheet listing the candidates and propositions.
The names meant nothing to him. He noted only that each of three candidates for Chief of State was one hundred thirty years old, that each of three candidates for First Assistant Chief was one hundred and twenty-seven years old, and so on. Obviously the nominating conventions by agreement named candidates of the same age for each office to keep it a contest.
The names didn’t mean anything to him. He only noticed that each of the three candidates for Chief of State was one hundred thirty years old, that each of the three candidates for First Assistant Chief was one hundred twenty-seven years old, and so on. Clearly, the nominating conventions were set up to choose candidates of the same age for each position to maintain the competition.
Proposition One read: “To dismantle seven pediatric centers and apply the salvage value to the construction of, and the funds no longer required for their maintenance to the maintenance of, a new wing of the Gerontological Center, said wing to be devoted to basic research in the extension of human life.”
Proposition One stated: “To take apart seven pediatric centers and use the salvage value for building a new wing of the Gerontological Center, and use the funds that are no longer needed for their upkeep to maintain this new wing, which will focus on basic research to extend human life.”
Proposition Two was worse. Ross didn’t bother to read 62the rest of them. He whispered hoarsely to Helena, “What next?”
Proposition Two was even worse. Ross didn't even bother to read the rest. He whispered hoarsely to Helena, “What now?”
“Ssh!” She pointed to a screen at the front of the Hall. “It’s starting.”
“Ssh!” She pointed to a screen at the front of the hall. “It’s starting.”
A Senior Citizen of a very high rank (his face was entirely hidden by an oxygen mask) was speaking from the screen. There was what seemed to be a ritual speech of invocation, then he got down to business. “Citizens,” he said through his throat mike, “behold Democracy in Action! I give you three candidates for Chief of State—look them over, and make up your minds. First, Citizen Raphael Flexner, age one century, three decades, seven months, ten days.” Senior Citizen Flexner rolled on screen, spoke briefly through his throat mike and rolled off. The first speaker said again, “Behold Democracy in Action! See now Citizen Sheridan Farnsworth, age one century, three decades, ten months, forty-two days.” Applause boomed louder; some of the younger juniors yelled hysterically and drummed their heels on the floor.
A senior citizen of a very high rank (his face completely covered by an oxygen mask) was speaking from the screen. It started with what seemed like a ceremonial speech, then he got to the point. “Citizens,” he said through his throat mic, “witness Democracy in Action! I present to you three candidates for Chief of State—check them out and make your choice. First up, Citizen Raphael Flexner, age one hundred years, thirty decades, seven months, ten days.” Senior Citizen Flexner appeared on screen, spoke briefly through his throat mic, and then rolled off. The first speaker continued, “Witness Democracy in Action! Now, see Citizen Sheridan Farnsworth, age one hundred years, thirty decades, ten months, forty-two days.” The applause grew louder; some of the younger members yelled excitedly and drummed their heels on the floor.
Helena was panting with excitement, eyes bright on the screen. “Isn’t it wonderful?” she gasped ecstatically. “Oh, look at him!”
Helena was breathless with excitement, her eyes shining on the screen. “Isn’t it wonderful?” she exclaimed joyfully. “Oh, look at him!”
“Him” was the third candidate, and the first oldster Ross had seen whose gocart was a wheeled stretcher. Prone and almost invisible through the clusters of tubing and chromed equipment, Senior Citizen Immanuel Appleby acknowledged his introduction—“Age one century, three decades, eleven months and five days!” The crowd went mad; Helena broke from Ross’s side and joined a long yelling snake dance through the corridors.
“Him” was the third candidate, and the first older person Ross had seen whose go-kart was a wheeled stretcher. Lying down and almost hidden among the clusters of tubing and chrome equipment, Senior Citizen Immanuel Appleby acknowledged his introduction—“Age one hundred, thirty years, eleven months, and five days!” The crowd went wild; Helena broke away from Ross’s side and joined a long, shouting snake dance through the corridors.
Ross yelled experimentally as protective coloration, then found himself yelling because everybody was yelling, because he couldn’t help it. By the time the speaker on the screen began to call for order, Ross was standing on top of the voting bench and screaming his head off.
Ross shouted instinctively as a form of camouflage, then realized he was yelling because everyone else was, and he couldn’t stop himself. By the time the speaker on the screen started asking for order, Ross was standing on top of the voting bench and screaming at the top of his lungs.
Helena, weeping with excitement, tugged at his leg. “Vote now, Ross,” she begged, and all over the hall the cry was “Vote! Vote!”
Helena, crying with excitement, pulled at his leg. "Vote now, Ross," she pleaded, and throughout the hall, the shout was "Vote! Vote!"
Ross reached out for the voting buttons. “What do we do now?” he asked Helena.
Ross reached for the voting buttons. “What do we do now?” he asked Helena.
63“Push the button marked ‘Appleby,’ of course. Hurry!”
63“Of course, press the button marked ‘Appleby.’ Come on!”
“But why Appleby?” Ross objected. “That fellow Flexner, for instance——”
“But why Appleby?” Ross said. “That guy Flexner, for example——”
“Hush, Ross! Somebody might be listening.” There was sickening fright on Helena’s face. “Didn’t you hear? We have to vote for the best man. ‘Oldest Is Bestest,’ you know. That’s what Democracy means, the freedom of choice. They read us the ages, and we choose which is oldest. Now please, Ross, hurry before somebody starts asking questions!”
“Hush, Ross! Someone might be listening.” There was a look of sheer panic on Helena’s face. “Didn’t you hear? We have to vote for the best man. ‘Oldest Is Bestest,’ you know. That’s what Democracy means, the freedom of choice. They tell us the ages, and we pick which is oldest. Now please, Ross, hurry before someone starts asking questions!”
The voting was over, and the best man had won in every case. It was a triumph for informed public opinion. The mob poured out of the hall in happy-go-lucky order, all precedences and formalities suspended for Holiday.
The voting was finished, and the best candidate had won in every instance. It was a victory for informed public opinion. The crowd exited the hall in a carefree manner, with all rules and formalities put aside for the Holiday.
Helena grasped Ross firmly by the arm. The crowd was spreading over the quiet acres surrounding the Center, each little cluster heedlessly intent on a long-planned project of its own. Under the pressure of Helena’s arm, Ross found himself swerving toward a clump of shrubbery.
Helena grabbed Ross firmly by the arm. The crowd was spreading out over the quiet fields around the Center, each little group focused on its own long-planned project. Under the pressure of Helena’s arm, Ross found himself veering toward a bushy area.
He said violently, “No! That is, I mean I’m sorry, Helena, but I’ve got something to do.”
He said angrily, “No! I mean, I’m sorry, Helena, but I have something I need to do.”
She stared at him with shock in her eyes. “On Holiday?”
She stared at him, shocked. “On holiday?”
“On Holiday. Truly, Helena, I’m sorry. Look, what you said last night—from now till tomorrow morning, I can do what I want, right?”
“On Holiday. Honestly, Helena, I’m sorry. Look, what you said last night—from now until tomorrow morning, I can do what I want, right?”
Sullenly, “Yes. I thought, Ross, that I knew what——”
Sullenly, “Yes. I thought, Ross, that I knew what——”
“Okay.” He jerked his arm away, feeling like all of the hundred possible kinds of a skunk. “See you around,” he said over his shoulder. He did not look back.
“Okay.” He pulled his arm away, feeling like all the hundred possible types of a skunk. “See you later,” he said as he walked away. He didn’t look back.
Three kilos back, he told himself firmly, then the right-hand fork in the road. And not more than a dozen kilos, at the most, to the spaceport. He could do it in a couple of hours.
Three kilos to go, he told himself firmly, then the right fork in the road. And no more than a dozen kilos at most to the spaceport. He could make it in a couple of hours.
One thing had been established for certain: If ever there had been a “Franklin Foundation” on this planet, it was gone for good now. Dismantled, no doubt, to provide building materials for an eartrumpet plant. No doubt the little F-T-L ship that the Franklin Foundation was supposed to cover for was still swinging in an orbit within easy range of the spaceport; but the chance that anybody 64would ever find it, or use it if found, was pretty close to zero. If they bothered to maintain a radar watch at all—any other watch than the fully automatic one set to respond only to highvelocity interstellar ships—and if anyone ever took time to look at the radar plot, no doubt the F-T-L ship was charted. As an asteroid, satellite, derelict or “body of unknown origin.” Certainly no one of these smug oldsters would take the trouble to investigate.
One thing was clear: If there ever was a “Franklin Foundation” on this planet, it was definitely gone for good now. Dismantled, most likely, to provide materials for some eartrumpet plant. The little F-T-L ship that the Franklin Foundation was supposed to support was probably still orbiting within easy reach of the spaceport, but the chance that anyone would ever find it, or use it if they did, was almost zero. If they even bothered to keep a radar watch at all—any watch besides the fully automatic one that only responded to high-velocity interstellar ships—and if someone actually took the time to look at the radar display, the F-T-L ship was likely logged as an asteroid, satellite, derelict, or “body of unknown origin.” No way any of these self-satisfied old folks would bother to investigate.
The only problem to solve on this planet was how to get off it—fast.
The only problem to solve on this planet was how to escape it—quickly.
On the road ahead of him was what appeared to be a combination sex orgy and free-for-all. It rolled in a yelling, milling mob of half a hundred excited juniors across the road toward him, then swerved into the fields as a cluster of screaming women broke free and ran, and the rest of the crowd roared after them.
On the road ahead of him was what seemed to be a mix of a sexual party and a chaotic free-for-all. It surged in a shouting, bustling crowd of about fifty excited juniors moving toward him, then veered into the fields as a group of screaming women broke away and ran, with the rest of the crowd chasing after them.
Ross quickened his step. If he ever did get off this planet, it would have to be today; he was not fool enough to think that any ordinary day would give him the freedom to poke around the spaceport’s defenses. And it would be just his luck, he thought bitterly, to get involved in a gang fight on the way to the port.
Ross picked up the pace. If he was ever going to leave this planet, it had to be today; he wasn’t naive enough to believe that any regular day would allow him to explore the spaceport’s defenses. And just his luck, he thought bitterly, he might end up in a gang fight on his way to the port.
There was a squeal of tires behind him, and a little vehicle screeched to a halt. Ross threw up a defensive arm in automatic reflex.
There was a screech of tires behind him, and a small car came to a sudden stop. Ross instinctively raised his arm in defense.
But it was only Helena, awkwardly fumbling open the door of the car. “Get in,” she said sourly. “You’ve spoiled my Holiday. Might as well do what you want to do.”
But it was just Helena, awkwardly trying to open the car door. “Get in,” she said irritably. “You’ve ruined my holiday. Might as well do what you want to do.”
“What’s that?”
"What's that?"
Helena looked where he was pointing, and shrugged. “Guard box,” she guessed. “How would I know? Nobody’s in it, anyhow.”
Helena looked in the direction he was pointing and shrugged. “Guard box,” she said. “How am I supposed to know? There's no one in it anyway.”
Ross nodded. They had abandoned the car and were standing outside a long, seamless fence that surrounded the spaceport. The main gates were closed and locked; a few hundred feet to the right was a smaller gate with a sort of pillbox, but that had every appearance of being locked too.
Ross nodded. They had left the car behind and were standing outside a long, continuous fence that surrounded the spaceport. The main gates were closed and locked; a few hundred feet to the right was a smaller gate with a kind of guard hut, but it looked like that was locked as well.
65“All right,” said Ross. “See that shed with the boxes outside it? Over we go.”
65“Okay,” said Ross. “You see that shed with the boxes outside? Let’s head over there.”
The shed was right up against the fence; the metal boxes gave a sort of rough and just barely climbable foothold. Helena was easy enough to lift to the top of the shed; Ross, grunting, managed to clamber after her.
The shed was right up against the fence; the metal boxes provided a rough and just barely climbable foothold. Helena was easy to lift to the top of the shed; Ross, grunting, managed to scramble after her.
They looked down at the ground on the other side, a dozen feet away. “You don’t have to come along,” Ross told her.
They looked down at the ground on the other side, about twelve feet away. “You don’t have to come with me,” Ross told her.
“That’s just like you!” she flared. “Cast me aside—trample on me!”
“That’s just like you!” she shot back. “Throw me away—walk all over me!”
“All right, all right.” Ross looked around, but neither junior nor elder was anywhere in sight. “Hang by your hands and then drop,” he advised her. “Get moving before somebody shows up.”
“All right, all right.” Ross looked around, but neither the junior nor the elder was anywhere in sight. “Hang by your hands and then drop,” he advised her. “Get moving before someone shows up.”
“On Holiday?” she asked bitterly. She squirmed over the narrow top of the fence, legs dangling, let herself down as far as she could, and let go. Ross watched anxiously, but she got up quickly enough and moved to one side.
“On holiday?” she asked bitterly. She twisted over the narrow top of the fence, legs hanging down, let herself drop as far as she could, and let go. Ross watched anxiously, but she got up quickly enough and moved to one side.
Ross plopped down next to her, knocking the wind out of himself. He got up dizzily.
Ross sat down next to her with a thud, knocking the breath out of himself. He stood up, feeling a bit lightheaded.
His ship, in lonesome quiet, was less than a quarter of a mile away. “Let’s go,” Ross panted, and clutched her hand. They skirted another shed and were in the clear, running as fast as they could.
His ship, in lonely silence, was less than a quarter of a mile away. “Let’s go,” Ross breathed heavily, gripping her hand. They darted past another shed and were free, sprinting as fast as they could.
Almost in the clear.
Almost out of the woods.
Ross heard the whine of the little scooter before he felt the blow, but it was too late. He sprawled on the ground, dragging Helena after him.
Ross heard the buzz of the little scooter before he felt the impact, but it was too late. He fell to the ground, pulling Helena down with him.
A Senior Citizen with a long-handled rod of the sort Ross remembered all too well was scowling down at them. “Children,” he rumbled through his breast-speaker in a voice of awful disgust, “is this the way to act on Holiday?”
A senior citizen with a long-handled rod that Ross recognized very well was glaring down at them. “Kids,” he grumbled through his speaker in a voice filled with disgust, “is this how you act on a holiday?”
Helena, gibbering in terror, was beyond words. Ross croaked, “Sorry, sir. We—we were just——”
Helena, shaking with fear, was at a loss for words. Ross stammered, “Sorry, sir. We—we were just——”
Crash! The rod came down again, and every muscle in Ross’s body convulsed. He rolled helplessly away, the elder following him. Crash! “We give you Holiday,” the elder boomed, “and——” crash “——you act like animals. 66Terrible! Don’t you know that freedom of play on Holiday——” crash “——is the most sacred right of every junior——” crash “——and heaven help you——” crash “——if you abuse it!”
Crash! The rod came down again, and every muscle in Ross’s body tensed up. He rolled away helplessly, with the elder pursuing him. Crash! “We give you Holiday,” the elder shouted, “and—” crash “—you act like animals. 66Unbelievable! Don't you realize that freedom to play on Holiday—” crash “—is the most precious right of every junior—” crash “—and heaven help you—” crash “—if you misuse it!”
The wrenching punishment and the caressing voice stopped together. Ross lay blinking into the terrible silence that followed. He became conscious of Helena’s weeping, and forced his head to turn to look at her.
The harsh punishment and the soothing voice stopped at the same time. Ross lay there, blinking into the awful silence that lingered. He noticed Helena crying and made himself turn his head to look at her.
She was standing behind the elder’s scooter, a length of wire in her hand. The senior lay slumped against his safety strap. “Ross!” she moaned. “Ross, what have I done? I turned him off!”
She was standing behind the old man’s scooter, holding a piece of wire. The senior was slumped against his safety strap. “Ross!” she moaned. “Ross, what have I done? I turned him off!”
He stood up, coughing and retching. No one else was in sight, only the two of them and the silent, slack form of the old man. He grabbed her arm. “Come on,” he said fuzzily, and started toward the starship.
He got up, coughing and gagging. No one else was around, just the two of them and the still, limp body of the old man. He took her arm. “Let’s go,” he said hazily, and began walking toward the starship.
She hung back, mumbling to herself, her eyes saucers. She was in a state of grievous shock, it was clear.
She stayed back, muttering to herself, her eyes wide. It was obvious she was in serious shock.
Ross hesitated, rubbing his back. He knew that she might never pull out of it. Even if she did, she was certain to be a frightful handicap. But it was crystal-clear that she had declared herself on his side. Even if the elder could be revived, the punishment in store for Helena would be awful to contemplate....
Ross hesitated, rubbing his back. He knew that she might never recover from it. Even if she did, she would definitely be a significant burden. But it was obvious that she had chosen to stand by him. Even if the elder could be brought back, the consequences for Helena would be terrible to imagine...
Come what may, he was now responsible for Helena.
Come what may, he was now in charge of Helena.
He towed her to the starship. She climbed in docilely enough, sat staring blankly as he sealed ship and sent it blasting off the face of the planet.
He towed her to the starship. She climbed in obediently, sitting there and staring blankly as he sealed the ship and launched it off the surface of the planet.
She didn’t speak until they were well into deep space. Then the blank stare abruptly clouded and she exploded in a fit of tears. Ross said ineffectually, “There, there.” It had no effect; until, in its own time, the storm ended.
She didn’t say anything until they were far into deep space. Then her blank stare suddenly changed, and she burst into tears. Ross awkwardly said, “There, there.” It didn’t help; until, eventually, the storm passed.
Helena said hoarsely, “Wh-what do I do now?”
Helena said hoarsely, “Wh-what should I do now?”
“Why, I guess you come right along with me,” Ross said heartily, cursing his luck.
“Why, I guess you're coming right along with me,” Ross said cheerfully, cursing his luck.
“Where’s that?”
"Where is that?"
“Where? You mean, where?” Ross scratched his head. “Well, let’s see. Frankly, Helena, your planet was quite a disappointment to me. I had hoped——Well, no matter. 67I suppose the best thing to do is to look up the next planet on the list.”
“Where? You mean, where?” Ross scratched his head. “Well, let’s see. Honestly, Helena, your planet was a bit of a letdown for me. I had hoped—Well, never mind. 67I guess the best thing to do is to check the next planet on the list.”
“What list?”
“What list is that?”
Ross hesitated, then shrugged and plunged into the explanation. All about the longliners and the message and faster-than-light travel and the Wesley Families—and none of it, while he was talking, seemed convincing at all. But perhaps Helena was less critical; or perhaps Helena simply did not care. She listened attentively and made no comment. She only said, at the end, “What’s the name of the next planet?”
Ross paused for a moment, then shrugged and jumped into the explanation. He covered everything about the longliners, the message, faster-than-light travel, and the Wesley Families—and none of it seemed convincing at all while he was speaking. But maybe Helena was less judgmental; or maybe Helena just didn't care. She listened closely and didn’t say a word. She only asked at the end, “What’s the name of the next planet?”
He consulted the master charts. Haarland’s listing showed a place called Azor, conveniently near at hand in the strange geodesics of the Wesley Effect, where the far galaxies might be near at hand in the warped space-lines, and the void just beyond the viewplates be infinitely distant. The F-T-L family of Azor was named Cavallo; when last heard from, they had been builders of machine tools.
He checked the main charts. Haarland's listing showed a place called Azor, conveniently close in the bizarre geodesics of the Wesley Effect, where distant galaxies could be surprisingly near in the twisted space-lines, and the emptiness just beyond the viewplates seemed infinitely far away. The F-T-L family from Azor was called Cavallo; the last time anyone heard from them, they had been manufacturing machine tools.
Ross told Helena about it. She shrugged and watched curiously as he began to set up the F-T-L problem on the huge board.
Ross informed Helena about it. She shrugged and watched with interest as he started to set up the F-T-L problem on the large board.
..... 7
THEY were well within detection range of Azor’s radar, if any, and yet there had been no beeping signal that the planet’s GCA had taken over and would pilot them down. Another blank? He studied the surface of the world under his highest magnification and saw no signs that it had been devastated by war. There were cities—intact, as far as he could tell, but not very attractive. The design ran to huge, gloomy piles that mounted toward central towers.
THEY were clearly within the detection range of Azor’s radar, if it was even functioning, and yet there had been no beeping signal indicating that the planet’s GCA had taken over to pilot them down. Another blank? He examined the surface of the world at maximum magnification and saw no signs that it had been ravaged by war. There were cities—undamaged, as far as he could tell, but not very appealing. The design was characterized by massive, dark structures that rose towards central towers.
Azor was a big world which showed not much water and a great deal of black rock. It was the fifth of its system and reportedly had colonized its four adjacent neighbors and their moons.
Azor was a large planet with very little water and a lot of black rock. It was the fifth planet in its system and was said to have colonized its four neighboring planets and their moons.
His own search radar pinged. The signal was followed at once by a guarded voice from his ship-to-ship communicator: “What ship are you? Do you receive me? The band is 798.44.”
His own search radar beeped. The signal was immediately followed by a cautious voice from his ship-to-ship communicator: “What ship are you? Can you hear me? The frequency is 798.44.”
He hastily dialed the frequency on his transmitter and called, “I receive you. We are a vessel from outside your solar system, home planet Halsey. We want to contact a family named Cavallo of the planet Azor believed to be engaged in building machine tools. Can you help us?”
He quickly dialed the frequency on his transmitter and said, “I hear you. We are a ship from outside your solar system, from the planet Halsey. We want to get in touch with a family named Cavallo on the planet Azor, who are thought to be involved in making machine tools. Can you assist us?”
“You are a male?” the voice asked cautiously. “In command or simply the communicator?”
“You're a guy?” the voice asked carefully. “Are you in charge or just the one communicating?”
69“I’m a male and I’m in command of this vessel.”
69“I’m a man and I’m in charge of this ship.”
The voice said: “Then sheer off this system and go elsewhere, my friend.”
The voice said: “Then ditch this system and go somewhere else, my friend.”
“What is this? Who are you?”
"What's this? Who are you?"
“My name does not matter. I happen to be on watch aboard the prison orbital station ‘Minerva.’ Get going, my friend, before the planetary GCA picks you up.”
“My name isn’t important. I’m on duty at the prison orbital station ‘Minerva.’ You should leave, my friend, before the planetary GCA detects you.”
Prison orbital station? A very sensible idea. “Thanks for the advice,” he parried. “Can you tell me anything about the Cavallo family?”
Prison orbital station? A really smart idea. “Thanks for the tip,” he replied. “Do you know anything about the Cavallo family?”
“I have heard of them. My friend, your time is running out. If you do not sheer off very soon they will land you. And I judge from the tone of your voice that it will not be long before you join the rest of us criminals aboard ‘Minerva.’ It is not pleasant here. Good-by.”
“I've heard about them. My friend, your time is running out. If you don't cut loose very soon, they'll catch you. And from the sound of your voice, I can tell it won't be long before you join the rest of us criminals on board 'Minerva.' It's not a nice place here. Goodbye.”
“Wait, please!” Ross had no intention at all of committing any crimes that would land him aboard a prison hulk, and he had every intention of fulfilling his mission. “Tell me about the Cavallo family—and why you expect me to get in trouble on Azor.”
“Wait, please!” Ross had no plans at all to commit any crimes that would get him thrown on a prison ship, and he was fully committed to completing his mission. “Tell me about the Cavallo family—and why you think I’ll get into trouble on Azor.”
“The time is running out, my friend, but—the Cavallo family of machine tool builders is located in Novj Grad. And the crime of which all of us aboard ‘Minerva’ were convicted is conspiracy to advocate equality of the sexes. Now go!”
“The time is running out, my friend, but—the Cavallo family of machine tool builders is located in Novj Grad. And the crime that all of us on the ‘Minerva’ were convicted of is conspiracy to promote gender equality. Now go!”
The carrier-wave hum of the communicator died, but immediately there was another electronic noise to fill the cabin—the beep of a GCA radar taking over the sealed landing controls of the craft.
The carrier-wave hum of the communicator faded away, but right away there was another electronic sound that filled the cabin—the beep of a GCA radar activating the sealed landing controls of the craft.
Helena had been listening with very little comprehension. “Who was your friend, Ross?” she asked. “Where are we?”
Helena had been listening with very little understanding. “Who was your friend, Ross?” she asked. “Where are we?”
“I think,” Ross said, “he was my friend. And I think we are—in trouble.”
“I think,” Ross said, “he was my friend. And I think we are—in trouble.”
The ship began to jet tentative bursts of reaction mass, nosing toward the big, gloomy planet.
The ship started to release tentative bursts of reaction mass, heading toward the large, dark planet.
“That’s all right,” Helena said comfortably. “At least they won’t know I disconnected a Senior Citizen.” She thought a moment. “They won’t, will they? I mean, the 70Senior Citizens here won’t know about the Senior Citizens there, will they?”
“That’s fine,” Helena said casually. “At least they won’t know I cut off a Senior Citizen.” She paused for a moment. “They won’t find out, right? I mean, the Senior Citizens here won’t know about the Senior Citizens there, will they?”
He tried to break it to her gently as the ship picked up speed. “Helena, it’s possible that the old people here won’t be Senior Citizens—not in your planet’s sense. They may just be old people, with no special authority over young people. I think, in fact, that we may find you outranking older people who happen to be males.”
He attempted to explain it to her softly as the ship accelerated. “Helena, it’s possible that the older folks here won’t be considered Senior Citizens—not like on your planet. They might just be regular old people, without any special authority over younger ones. In fact, I think we might find you having more authority than older men.”
She took it as a joke. “You are funny, Ross. Old means Senior, doesn’t it? And Senior means better, wiser, abler, and in charge, doesn’t it?”
She took it as a joke. “You’re funny, Ross. Old means Senior, right? And Senior means better, wiser, more capable, and in charge, doesn’t it?”
“We’ll see,” he said thoughtfully as the main reaction drive cut in. “We’ll see very shortly.”
“We’ll see,” he said, reflecting as the main reaction drive kicked in. “We’ll see very soon.”
The spaceport was bustling, busy, and efficient. Ross marveled at the speed and dexterity with which the anonymous ground operator whipped his ship into a braking orbit and set it down. And he stared enviously at the crawling clamshells on treads, bigger than houses, that cupped around his ship; the ship was completely and hermetically surrounded, and bathed in a mist of germicides and prophylactic rays.
The spaceport was busy, lively, and highly efficient. Ross was impressed by how quickly and skillfully the nameless ground worker maneuvered his ship into a braking orbit and landed it. He watched with envy as the giant clamshells on tracks, larger than houses, enveloped his ship; it was completely sealed off and surrounded by a mist of disinfectants and protective rays.
A helmeted figure riding a little platform on the inside of one of the clamshells turned a series of knobs, climbed down, and rapped on the ship’s entrance port.
A helmeted figure riding a small platform inside one of the clamshells adjusted a series of knobs, climbed down, and knocked on the ship’s entrance port.
Ross opened it diffidently, and almost strangled in the antiseptic fumes. Helena choked and wheezed behind him as the figure threw back its helmet and said, “Where’s the captain?”
Ross opened it hesitantly, almost gasping from the antiseptic fumes. Helena coughed and wheezed behind him as the figure pulled back its helmet and asked, “Where’s the captain?”
“I am he,” said Ross meticulously. “I would like to be put in touch with the Cavallo Machine-Tool Company of Novj Grad.”
“I am he,” said Ross carefully. “I’d like to get in touch with the Cavallo Machine-Tool Company of Novj Grad.”
The figure shook its long hair loose, which provided Ross with the necessary clue: it was a woman. Not a very attractive-looking woman, for she wore no makeup; but by the hair, by the brows and by the smoothness of her chin, a woman all the same. She said coldly, “If you’re the captain, who’s that?”
The figure let her long hair down, which gave Ross the clue he needed: it was a woman. Not a very attractive one, since she wore no makeup; but from her hair, her eyebrows, and the smoothness of her chin, she was definitely a woman. She said coldly, “If you’re the captain, who’s that?”
Helena said in a small voice, “I’m Helena, from Junior Unit Twenty-Three.”
Helena said softly, “I’m Helena, from Junior Unit Twenty-Three.”
71“Indeed.” Suddenly the woman smiled. “Well, come ashore, dear,” she said. “You must be tired from your trip. Both of you come ashore,” she added graciously.
71“Absolutely.” Suddenly, the woman smiled. “Well, come on land, dear,” she said. “You must be tired from your journey. Both of you come on land,” she added kindly.
She led the way out of the clamshells to a waiting closed car. Azor’s sun had an unpleasant bluish cast to it, not a type-G at all; Ross thought that the lighting made the woman look uglier than she really had to be. Even Helena looked pinched and bloodless, which he knew well was not the case at all.
She led the way out of the clamshells to a waiting closed car. Azor's sun had an unpleasant bluish tint to it, not a type-G at all; Ross thought that the lighting made the woman look uglier than she really was. Even Helena looked pale and lifeless, which he knew wasn't true at all.
All around them was activity. Whatever this planet’s faults, it was not a stagnant home for graybeards. Ross, craning, saw nothing that was shoddy, nothing that would have looked out of place in the best-equipped port of Halsey’s Planet. And the reception lounge, or whatever it was, that the woman took them to was a handsome and prettily furnished construction. “Some lunch?” the woman asked, directing her attention to Helena. “A cup of tribrew, maybe? Let me have the boy bring some.” Helena looked to Ross for signals, and Ross, gritting his teeth, nodded to her to agree. Too young the last time, too male this time; was there ever going to be a planet where he mattered to anyone?
All around them was buzzing with activity. Whatever this planet’s issues were, it certainly wasn’t a dull place for old-timers. Ross, leaning forward, noticed nothing that was subpar, nothing that would seem out of place in the most well-equipped port on Halsey’s Planet. And the reception area, or whatever it was, that the woman took them to was a stylishly furnished space. “Want some lunch?” the woman asked, focusing on Helena. “How about a cup of tribrew? I’ll have the lad bring some.” Helena looked to Ross for cues, and Ross, clenching his jaw, nodded for her to agree. Too young the last time, too male this time; was there ever going to be a planet where he mattered to anyone?
He said desperately, “Madam, forgive my interruption, but this lady and myself need urgently to get in touch with the Cavallo company. Is this Novj Grad?”
He said urgently, “Excuse me, ma'am, but this lady and I really need to get in touch with the Cavallo company. Is this Novj Grad?”
The woman’s pale brows arched. She said, with an effort, “No, it is not.”
The woman's pale eyebrows raised. She said, straining a bit, "No, it isn't."
“Then can you tell us where Novj Grad is?” Ross persisted. “If they have a spaceport, we can hop over there in our ship——”
“Then can you tell us where Novj Grad is?” Ross kept pressing. “If they have a spaceport, we can just fly there in our ship——”
The woman gasped something that sounded like, “Well!” She stood up and said pointedly to Helena, “If you’ll excuse me, I have something to attend to.” And swept out.
The woman gasped something that sounded like, “Well!” She stood up and said sharply to Helena, “If you’ll excuse me, I have something to take care of.” And she walked out.
Helena stared wide-eyed at Ross. “She must’ve been a real Senior Citizen, huh?”
Helena looked at Ross with wide eyes. “She must have been a real senior citizen, right?”
“Not exactly,” said Ross despairingly. “Look, Helena, things are different here. I need your help.”
“Not really,” said Ross hopelessly. “Listen, Helena, things are different here. I need you to help me.”
“Help?”
"Need help?"
“Yes, help!” he bellowed. “Get a grip on yourself, girl. Remember what I told you about the planet I came from? 72It was different from yours, remember? The old people were just like anybody else.” She giggled in embarrassment. “They were!” he yelled. “And they are here, too. Old people, young people, doesn’t matter. On my planet, the richest people were—well, never mind. On this planet, women are the bosses. Get it? Women are like elders. So you’ll have to take over, Helena.”
“Yes, help!” he shouted. “Get a hold of yourself, girl. Remember what I told you about the planet I came from? 72 It was different from yours, remember? The older folks were just like anyone else.” She laughed nervously. “They were!” he yelled. “And they are here, too. Old people, young people, it doesn’t matter. On my planet, the wealthiest people were—well, never mind. On this planet, women are in charge. Got it? Women are like elders. So you’ll have to step up, Helena.”
She was looking at him with a puzzled frown. She objected, “But if women are——”
She was staring at him with a confused expression. She protested, “But if women are——”
“They are. Never mind about that part of it now; just remember that for the purposes of getting along here, you’re going to be my boss. You tell me what to do. You talk to everybody. And what you have to say to them is this: You must get to Novj Grad immediately, and talk to a high-ranking member of the Cavallo Machine-Tool Company. Clear? Once we get there, I’ll take over; everything will be under control then.” He added prayerfully, “I hope.”
“They are. Don't worry about that part right now; just remember that for the sake of getting along here, you’re going to be my boss. You tell me what to do. You talk to everyone. And what you need to say to them is this: You must get to Novj Grad immediately and talk to a high-ranking member of the Cavallo Machine-Tool Company. Got it? Once we get there, I’ll take over; everything will be under control then.” He added, almost like a prayer, “I hope.”
Helena blinked at him. “I’m going to be your boss?” she asked.
Helena blinked at him. “I’m going to be your boss?” she asked.
“That’s right.”
“Exactly.”
“Like an elder bosses a junior? And it’s legal?”
“Like a senior managing a junior? And that's allowed?”
Ross started to repeat, “That’s right,” impatiently again. But there was a peculiar look in Helena’s round eyes. “Helena!” he said warningly.
Ross started to impatiently repeat, “That’s right,” again. But there was a strange look in Helena’s round eyes. “Helena!” he said, warning her.
She was all concern. “Why, what is it, Ross?” she asked solicitously. “You look upset. Just leave everything to me, dear.”
She was really worried. “What’s wrong, Ross?” she asked caring. “You look upset. Just leave everything to me, okay?”
They got started on the way to Novj Grad—not in their ship (the woman had said there was no spaceport in Novj Grad), and not alone, so that Ross could not confirm his unhappy opinion of Helena’s inner thoughts. But at least they were on their way to Novj Grad in the Azorian equivalent of a chartered aircraft, with Helena chatting happily with the female pilot, and Ross sitting uncomfortably on a narrow, upholstered strip behind.
They set off for Novj Grad—not in their ship (the woman had mentioned there was no spaceport in Novj Grad), and not alone, so Ross couldn't really confirm his unhappy views on Helena’s thoughts. But at least they were heading to Novj Grad in the Azorian version of a chartered plane, with Helena happily chatting with the female pilot and Ross sitting uncomfortably on a narrow, padded strip behind them.
Everything he saw in Azor confirmed his first impressions. The planet was busy and prosperous. Nobody seemed to be doing anything very productive, he thought, 73but somehow everything seemed to get done. Automatic machinery, he guessed; if women were to have any chance of gaining the upper hand on a planet, most of the hard physical work would have to be fairly well mechanized anyhow. And particularly on this planet. They had been flying for six hours, at a speed he guessed to be not much below that of sound, and fully half of the territory they passed over was bare, black rock.
Everything he saw on Azor confirmed his initial impressions. The planet was lively and thriving. Nobody seemed to be doing anything particularly productive, he thought, 73but somehow everything was getting done. He figured it was automatic machinery; if women were going to have any chance of gaining the upper hand on a planet, most of the hard physical labor would need to be pretty much mechanized anyway. Especially on this planet. They had been flying for six hours at a speed he estimated was not far below the speed of sound, and about half of the territory they passed over was just bare, black rock.
The ship began losing altitude, and the pilot, who had been curled up in a relaxed position, totally ignoring the aircraft, glanced at her instrument panel. “Coming in for a landing,” she warned. “Don’t distract me right now, dear, I’ve got a thousand things to do.”
The plane started to descend, and the pilot, who had been lounging comfortably and completely ignoring the aircraft, looked at her instrument panel. “Preparing for landing,” she said. “Don’t distract me right now, sweetheart, I have a lot on my plate.”
She didn’t seem to be doing any of them, Ross thought disapprovingly; all she did was watch varicolored lights blink on and off. But no doubt the ship landing, too, was as automatic as the piloting.
She didn’t seem to be doing any of them, Ross thought disapprovingly; all she did was watch colorful lights blink on and off. But no doubt the ship landing was just as automatic as the piloting.
Helena turned and leaned back to Ross. “We’re coming in for a landing,” she relayed.
Helena turned and leaned back to Ross. “We’re about to land,” she said.
Ross said sourly, “I heard.”
Ross said dryly, “I heard.”
Helena gave him a look of reprimand and forgiveness. “I’m hungry,” she mused.
Helena shot him a disapproving yet forgiving glance. “I’m hungry,” she said thoughtfully.
The pilot turned from her controls. “You can get something at the airport,” she offered eagerly. “I’ll show you.”
The pilot turned away from her controls. “You can get something at the airport,” she said excitedly. “I’ll show you.”
Helena looked at Ross. “Would you like something?”
Helena looked at Ross. “Do you want something?”
But the pilot frowned. “I don’t believe there’s any place for men,” she said disapprovingly. “Perhaps we can get something sent out for him if you like. Although, really, it’s probably against the rules, you know.”
But the pilot frowned. “I don’t think there’s any place for men,” she said disapprovingly. “Maybe we can arrange for something to be sent out for him if you want. Although, honestly, it’s probably against the rules, you know.”
Ross started to say with great dignity, “Thank you, but that won’t be necessary.” But he didn’t quite get it out. The ship came in for its landing. There was an enormous jolt and a squawk of alarm bells and flashing lights. The ship careened crazily, and stopped.
Ross began to say with a lot of dignity, “Thank you, but that’s not needed.” But he didn’t fully manage to say it. The ship was coming in for a landing. There was a huge jolt, followed by alarm bells blaring and lights flashing. The ship swerved wildly and then came to a stop.
“Oh, darn,” complained the pilot mildly. “It’s always doing that. Come on, dear, let’s get something to eat. We’ll come back for him later.”
“Oh, man,” complained the pilot mildly. “It’s always doing that. Come on, babe, let’s grab something to eat. We’ll come back for him later.”
And Ross was left alone to stare apprehensively at the unceasingly flashing lights and to listen to the strident alarms for three-quarters of an hour.
And Ross was left alone to anxiously watch the continuously flashing lights and to hear the loud alarms for fifty minutes.
74His luck was in, though. The ship didn’t explode. And eventually a pallid young man in a greasy apron appeared with a tray of sandwiches and a vacuum jug.
74He was lucky, though. The ship didn’t blow up. And eventually, a pale young guy in a greasy apron showed up with a tray of sandwiches and a thermos.
“Up here, boy,” Ross called.
"Come up here, boy," Ross called.
He gaped through the port. “You mean come in?”
He stared through the window. “You mean come in?”
“Sure. It’s all right.”
"Sure. It's fine."
The young man put down the tray. Something in the way he looked at it prompted Ross to invite him: “Have some with me? More here than I can handle.”
The young man set the tray aside. The way he gazed at it made Ross say, “Want to join me? There’s more here than I can manage.”
“Thanks; I believe I will. I, uh, was supposed to take my break after I brought you this stuff.” He poured steaming brew into the cup that covered the jug, politely pushed it to Ross and swigged from the jug himself. “You’re with the starship?” he asked, around a mouthful of sandwich.
“Thanks; I think I will. I, uh, was supposed to take my break after bringing you this stuff.” He poured hot coffee into the cup that covered the jug, politely slid it over to Ross, and took a swig from the jug himself. “You’re with the starship?” he asked, with a mouthful of sandwich.
“Yes. I—the captain, that is—wants to contact an outfit called Cavallo Machine-Tool. You know where they are?”
“Yes. I—the captain, that is—want to get in touch with a company called Cavallo Machine-Tool. Do you know where they are?”
“Sure. Biggest firm on the south side. Fifteen Street; you can’t miss them. The captain—is she the lady who was with Pilot Breuer?”
“Sure. The biggest firm on the south side. Fifteen Street; you can’t miss them. The captain—is she the woman who was with Pilot Breuer?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
The youngster’s eyes widened. “You mean you were in space—alone—with a lady?”
The kid's eyes got big. “Wait, you were in space—by yourself—with a woman?”
Ross nodded and chewed.
Ross nodded and ate.
“And she didn’t—uh—there wasn’t—well—any problem?”
"And she didn’t—uh—there wasn’t—well—any issue?"
“No,” said Ross. “You have much trouble with that kind of thing?”
“No,” Ross said. “Do you have a lot of issues with that kind of thing?”
The boy winced. “If I’ve asked once I’ve asked a hundred times for a transfer. Oh, those jet pilots! I used to work in a roadside truck stop. I know truckers are supposed to be rough and tough; maybe they are. But you can’t tell me that deep down a trucker isn’t a lady. When you tell them no, that’s that. But a pilot—it just eggs them on. Azor City today, Novj Grad tomorrow—what do they care?”
The boy winced. “If I’ve asked once, I’ve asked a hundred times for a transfer. Oh, those jet pilots! I used to work at a roadside truck stop. I know truckers are supposed to be tough; maybe they are. But you can’t tell me that deep down a trucker isn’t a softie. When you say no to them, that’s it. But a pilot—it just makes them more determined. Azor City today, Novj Grad tomorrow—what do they care?”
Ross was fascinated and baffled. It seemed to him that they should care and care plenty. Back where he came from, it was the woman who paid and he couldn’t imagine any cultural setup which could alter that biological fact. 75He asked cautiously: “Have you ever been—in trouble?”
Ross was both fascinated and puzzled. It seemed to him that they should care, and care a lot. Back where he was from, it was the woman who paid, and he couldn’t picture any situation that could change that biological fact. 75 He asked carefully, "Have you ever been in trouble?"
The boy stiffened and looked disapproving. Then he said with a sigh: “I might as well tell you. It’s all over the station anyway; they call me ‘Bernie the Pullover.’ Yes. Twice. Pilots both times. I can’t seem to say no——” He took another long pull from the jug and a savage bite from a second sandwich.
The boy tensed up and looked unhappy. Then he sighed and said, “I might as well come clean. Everyone at the station knows; they call me ‘Bernie the Pullover.’ Yeah. Twice. Both times with pilots. I just can't seem to say no—” He took another big swig from the jug and a fierce bite from a second sandwich.
“I’m sure,” Ross said numbly, “it wasn’t your fault.”
“I’m sure,” Ross said blankly, “it wasn’t your fault.”
“Try telling that to the judge,” Bernie the Pullover said bitterly. “The pilot speaks her piece, the medic puts the blood group tests in evidence, the doctor and crèche director depose that the child was born and is still living. Then the judge says, without even looking up, ‘Paternity judgment to the plaintiff, defendant ordered to pay one thousand credits annual support, let this be a warning to you, young man, next case.’ I shouldn’t have joined you and eaten your sandwiches, but the fact is I was hungry. I had to sell my meal voucher yesterday to meet my payment. Miss three payments and——” He jerked his thumb heavenward.
“Try telling that to the judge,” Bernie the Pullover said bitterly. “The pilot says her piece, the medic submits the blood group tests as evidence, the doctor and daycare director testify that the child was born and is still alive. Then the judge just looks down and says, ‘Paternity judgment to the plaintiff, defendant ordered to pay one thousand credits in annual support, let this be a warning to you, young man, next case.’ I shouldn’t have joined you and eaten your sandwiches, but honestly, I was hungry. I had to sell my meal voucher yesterday to cover my payment. Miss three payments and——” He pointed his thumb up at the sky.
Ross thought and realized that the thumb must indicate the orbiting prison hulk “Minerva.” It was the man who paid here.
Ross thought and realized that the thumb must point to the orbiting prison ship “Minerva.” It was the guy who paid here.
He demanded: “How did all this happen?”
He asked, “How did all this happen?”
Bernie, having admitted his hunger, had stopped stalling and seized a third sandwich. “All what?” he asked indistinctly.
Bernie, realizing he was hungry, had stopped delaying and grabbed a third sandwich. “What do you mean?” he asked, mumbling.
Ross thought hard and long. He realized first that he could probably never explain what he meant to Bernie, and second that if he did they’d probably both wind up aboard “Minerva” for conspiracy to advocate equality. He shifted his ground. “Of course everybody agrees on the natural superiority of women,” he said, “but people seem to differ from planet to planet as to the reasons. What do they say here on Azor?”
Ross thought for a long time. He first realized that he could probably never explain what he meant to Bernie, and second, that if he did, they would probably both end up on “Minerva” for conspiring to promote equality. He changed his approach. “Of course, everyone agrees on the natural superiority of women,” he said, “but people seem to have different reasons from planet to planet. What do they say here on Azor?”
“Oh—nothing special or fancy. Just the common-sense, logical thing. They’re smaller, for one thing, and haven’t got the muscles of men, so they’re natural supervisors. They accumulate money as a matter of course because men die younger and women are the beneficiaries. Then, 76women have a natural aptitude for all the interesting jobs. I saw a broadcast about that just the other night. The biggest specialist on the planet in vocational aptitude. I forget her name, but she proved it conclusively.”
“Oh—nothing special or fancy. Just the logical thing. They’re smaller, for one thing, and don’t have the muscles of men, so they’re natural supervisors. They accumulate money as a matter of course because men die younger and women are the beneficiaries. Then, 76women have a natural talent for all the interesting jobs. I saw a broadcast about that just the other night. The top expert in the world on vocational aptitude. I forget her name, but she proved it conclusively.”
He looked at the empty platter before them. “I’ve got to go now. Thanks for everything.”
He gazed at the empty plate in front of them. “I need to head out now. Thanks for everything.”
“The pleasure was mine.” Ross watched his undernourished figure head for the station. He swore a little, and then buckled down to some hard thinking. Helena was his key to this world. He’d have to have a long skull-session or two with her; he couldn’t be constantly prompting her or there would be serious trouble. She would be the front and he would be the very inconspicuous brains of the outfit, trailing humbly behind. But was she capable of absorbing a brand-new, rather complicated concept? She seemed to be, he told himself uncomfortably, in love with him. That would help considerably....
“The pleasure was mine.” Ross watched his undernourished figure head for the station. He swore a little, then got down to some serious thinking. Helena was his link to this world. He’d need to have a few in-depth discussions with her; he couldn't keep prompting her or there would be serious trouble. She would be the public face and he would be the very discreet brains of the operation, trailing humbly behind. But was she capable of grasping a brand-new, fairly complicated concept? She seemed to be, he told himself uncomfortably, in love with him. That would help a lot...
Helena and Pilot Breuer showed up, walking with a languor that suggested a large and pleasant meal disposed of. Helena’s first words disposed with shocking speed of Ross’s doubts that she was able to acquire a brand-new sociological concept. They were: “Ah, there you are, my dear. Did the boy bring you something or other to eat?”
Helena and Pilot Breuer arrived, moving in a relaxed way that hinted they had just enjoyed a big, satisfying meal. Helena’s first words quickly brushed aside any doubts Ross had about her ability to come up with a brand-new social theory. She said, “Ah, there you are, my dear. Did the boy bring you something to eat?”
“Yes. Thanks. Very thoughtful of you,” he said pointedly, with one eye on Breuer’s reaction. There was none; he seemed to have struck the right note.
“Yes. Thanks. Very thoughtful of you,” he said sharply, keeping an eye on Breuer’s reaction. There was none; it seemed he had hit the right note.
“Pilot Breuer,” said Helena blandly, “thinks I’d enjoy an evening doing the town with her and a few friends.”
“Pilot Breuer,” said Helena casually, “thinks I’d have a good time spending an evening out on the town with her and a few friends.”
“But the Cavallo people——”
“But the Cavallo team——”
“Ross,” she said gently, “don’t nag.”
"Ross," she said gently, "don’t bother."
He shut up. And thought: wait until I get her out into space. If I get her out into space. She’d be a damned fool to leave this wacked-up culture....
He went silent. And thought: just wait until I get her out into space. If I get her out into space. She’d be a complete idiot to leave this messed-up culture....
Breuer was saying, with an altogether too-innocent air, “I’d better get you two settled in a hotel for the night; then I’ll pick up Helena and a few friends and we’ll show her what old Novj Grad has to offer in the way of night life. Can’t have her batting around the universe saying Azor’s sidewalks are rolled up at 2100, can we? And then she can 77do her trading or whatever it is with Cavallo bright and early tomorrow, eh?”
Breuer was saying, with a look that was way too innocent, “I’d better get you two settled in a hotel for the night; then I’ll pick up Helena and a few friends, and we’ll show her what old Novj Grad has to offer for nightlife. We can’t have her wandering around saying Azor’s sidewalks are rolled up at 9 PM, can we? Then she can do her trading or whatever with Cavallo bright and early tomorrow, right?” 77
Ross realized that he was being jollied out of an attack of the sulks. He didn’t like it.
Ross realized that someone was trying to cheer him up and distract him from feeling down. He wasn’t a fan of it.
The hotel was small and comfortable, with a bar crowded by roistering pilots and their dates. The glimpses Ross got of social life on Azor added up to a damnably unfair picture. It was the man who paid. Breuer roguishly tested the mattress in their room, nudging Helena, and then announced, “Get settled, kids, while I visit the bar.”
The hotel was cozy and comfortable, with a bar filled with loud pilots and their dates. The little glimpses Ross caught of social life on Azor created an infuriatingly unfair image. It was always the guy who paid. Breuer playfully tested the mattress in their room, poked Helena, and then said, “Make yourselves at home, kids, while I hit the bar.”
When the door rolled shut behind her Ross said furiously: “Look, you! Protective mimicry’s fine up to a point, but let’s not forget what this mission is all about. We seem to be suckered into spending the night, but by hell tomorrow morning bright and early we find those Cavallo people—”
When the door closed behind her, Ross said angrily: “Listen, you! Protective mimicry is okay to a certain extent, but let’s not lose sight of what this mission is really about. It looks like we’re stuck here for the night, but come tomorrow morning, we need to locate those Cavallo people—”
“There,” Helena said soothingly. “Don’t be angry, Ross. I promise I won’t be out late, and she really did insist.”
“There,” Helena said gently. “Don’t be mad, Ross. I promise I won’t stay out late, and she really did insist.”
“I suppose so,” he grumbled. “Just remember it’s no pleasure trip.”
“I guess so,” he grumbled. “Just keep in mind it’s not a vacation.”
“Not for you, perhaps,” she smiled sweetly.
“Not for you, maybe,” she smiled sweetly.
He let it drop there, afraid to push the matter.
He dropped it there, hesitant to press the issue.
Breuer returned in about ten minutes with a slight glow on. “It’s all fixed,” she told Helena. “Got a swell crowd lined up. Table at Virgin Willie’s—oops!” She glanced at Ross. “No harm in it, of course,” she said. “Anything you want, Ross, just dial service. It’s on my account. I fixed it with the desk.”
Breuer came back in about ten minutes with a slight glow on her face. “It’s all set,” she told Helena. “I’ve got a great crowd arranged. Table at Virgin Willie’s—oops!” She looked at Ross. “No worries, of course,” she said. “Anything you need, Ross, just call service. It’s on my tab. I arranged it with the front desk.”
“Thanks.”
“Thanks a lot.”
They left, and Ross went grumpily to bed.
They left, and Ross grumpily went to bed.
A secretive rustle in the room awoke him. “Helena?” he asked drowsily.
A quiet rustling in the room woke him up. “Helena?” he asked sleepily.
Pilot Breuer’s voice giggled drunkenly, “Nope. Helena’s passed out at Virgin Willie’s, kind of the way I figured she would be on triple antigravs. Had my eye on you since Azor City, baby. You gonna be nice to me?”
Pilot Breuer’s voice slurred playfully, “Nope. Helena’s out cold at Virgin Willie’s, just like I thought she would be after triple antigravs. I’ve had my eye on you since Azor City, baby. You gonna be nice to me?”
“Get out of here!” Ross hissed furiously. “Out of here or I’ll yell like hell.”
“Get out of here!” Ross spat angrily. “Get out of here or I’ll scream bloody murder.”
78“So yell,” she giggled. “I got the house dick fixed. They know me here, baby——”
78“So go ahead and yell,” she laughed. “I got the house detective sorted out. They know me here, babe——”
He fumbled for the bedside light and snapped it on. “I’ll pitch you right through the door,” he announced. “And if you give me any more lip I won’t bother to open it before I do.”
He reached for the bedside lamp and turned it on. “I’ll throw you right out the door,” he declared. “And if you talk back to me again, I won’t even bother to open it first.”
She hiccupped and said, “A spirited lad. That’s the way I like ’em.” With one hand she drew a nasty-looking little pistol. With the other she pulled a long zipper and stepped out of her pilot’s coveralls.
She hiccupped and said, “A lively guy. That’s how I like them.” With one hand, she pulled out a nasty-looking little pistol. With the other, she unzipped her pilot's coveralls and stepped out of them.
Ross gulped. There were three ways to play this, the smart way, the stupid way, and the way that all of a sudden began to look attractive. He tried the stupid way.
Ross gulped. There were three ways to approach this: the smart way, the dumb way, and the way that suddenly seemed appealing. He decided to go for the dumb way.
He got the pistol barrel alongside his ear for his pains. “Don’t jump me,” Pilot Breuer giggled. “The boys that’ve tried to take this gun away from me are stretched end to end from here to Azor City. By me, baby.”
He pressed the pistol barrel against his ear for his trouble. “Don’t jump me,” Pilot Breuer laughed. “The guys who’ve tried to take this gun from me are lined up from here to Azor City. Not happening, baby.”
Ross blinked through a red-spotted haze. He took a deep breath and got smart. “You’re pretty tough,” he said admiringly.
Ross blinked through a red-spotted fog. He took a deep breath and got focused. “You’re pretty tough,” he said with admiration.
“Oh, sure.” She kicked the coveralls across the room and moved in on him. “Baby,” she said caressingly, “if I seem to sort of forget myself in the next couple of minutes, don’t get any ideas. I never let go of my gun. Move over.”
“Oh, sure.” She kicked the coveralls across the room and moved in closer to him. “Baby,” she said softly, “if I seem to lose myself in the next couple of minutes, don’t get any ideas. I never let go of my gun. Move over.”
“Sure,” Ross said hollowly. This, he told himself disgustedly, was the damnedest, silliest, ridiculousest....
“Sure,” Ross said flatly. This, he told himself in frustration, was the most absurd, silliest, ridiculous...
There was a furious hiccup from the door. “So!” Helena said venomously, pushing the door wide and almost falling to the floor. “So!”
There was an angry hiccup from the door. “Well!” Helena said sharply, flinging the door open and nearly tripping onto the floor. “Well!”
Ross flailed out of the bed, kicking the pistol out of Pilot Breuer’s hand in the process. He cried enthusiastically, “Helena, dear!”
Ross jumped out of bed, knocking the pistol out of Pilot Breuer’s hand in the process. He shouted excitedly, “Helena, dear!”
“Don’t you ‘Helena-dear’ me!” she said, moving in and kicking the door shut behind her. “I leave you alone for one little minute, and what happens? And you!”
“Don’t you ‘Helena-dear’ me!” she said, walking in and kicking the door shut behind her. “I leave you alone for one tiny minute, and what happens? And you!”
“Sorry,” Pilot Breuer muttered, climbing into her coveralls. “Wrong room. Must’ve had one anti-grav too many.” She licked her lips apprehensively, zipping her coveralls and sidling toward the door. With one hand on the knob, she said diffidently, “If I could have my gun back——? 79No, you’re right! I’ll get it tomorrow.” She got through the door just ahead of a lamp.
“Sorry,” Pilot Breuer said quietly, pulling on her coveralls. “Wrong room. Guess I had one too many anti-gravs.” She nervously licked her lips, zipped up her coveralls, and moved toward the door. With one hand on the doorknob, she said shyly, “Could I please get my gun back——? 79No, you’re right! I’ll get it tomorrow.” She slipped out the door just before a lamp came through.
“Hussy!” spat Helena. “And you, Ross——”
“Hussy!” spat Helena. “And you, Ross——”
It was the last straw. As Ross lurched toward her he regretted only one thing: that he didn’t have a hairbrush.
It was the final straw. As Ross stumbled toward her, he regretted only one thing: that he didn’t have a hairbrush.
Pilot Breuer had been right. Nobody paid any attention to the noise.
Pilot Breuer was right. No one paid any attention to the noise.
“Yes, Ross.” Helena had hardly touched her breakfast; she sat with her eyes downcast.
“Yes, Ross.” Helena had barely touched her breakfast; she sat with her eyes lowered.
“‘Yes, Ross’,” he mimicked bitterly. “It better be ‘Yes, Ross.’ This place may look all right to you, but it’s trouble. You don’t want to find yourself stuck here all your life, do you? Then do what I tell you.”
“‘Yeah, Ross,’” he mocked bitterly. “It better be ‘Yeah, Ross.’ This place might seem fine to you, but it’s a mess. You don’t want to end up stuck here for the rest of your life, do you? So just do what I say.”
“Yes, Ross.”
“Yep, Ross.”
He pushed the remains of his food away. “Oh, the hell with it,” he said dispiritedly. “I wish I’d never started out on this fool’s errand. And I double damn well wish I’d left you in the dye vats.”
He pushed his plate aside. “Oh, forget it,” he said gloomily. “I wish I’d never started this pointless journey. And I really wish I’d left you in the dye vats.”
“Yes, Ro——I mean, I’m glad you didn’t, Ross,” she said in a small voice.
“Yes, Ro—I mean, I’m glad you didn’t, Ross,” she said quietly.
He stood up and patted her shoulder absently. “Come on,” he said, “we’ve got to get over to the Cavallo place. I wish you had let me talk to them on the phone.”
He stood up and patted her shoulder absentmindedly. “Come on,” he said, “we need to get over to the Cavallo place. I wish you had let me talk to them on the phone.”
She said reasonably, “But you said——”
She said reasonably, “But you said——”
“I know what I said. When we get there, remember that I do the talking.”
“I know what I said. When we get there, just remember that I’ll do the talking.”
They walked through green-lit streets, filled with proud-looking women and sad-eyed men. The Cavallo Machine-Tool Corporation was only a few intersections away, by the map the desk clerk had drawn for Helena; they found it without trouble. It was a smallish sort of building for a factory, Ross thought, but perhaps that was how factories went on Azor. Besides, it was well constructed and beautifully landscaped with the purplish lawns these people seemed to prefer.
They strolled through streets lit in green, surrounded by confident-looking women and men with sad expressions. The Cavallo Machine-Tool Corporation was just a few blocks away, according to the map the desk clerk had drawn for Helena; they found it easily. Ross thought it was a somewhat small building for a factory, but maybe that was typical for factories on Azor. Besides, it was well-built and nicely landscaped with the purplish lawns that seemed to be popular with these people.
Helena led him through the door, as was right and proper. She said to the busy little bald-headed man who seemed to be the receptionist, “We’re expected. Miss Cavallo, please.”
Helena guided him through the door, just as she should. She addressed the busy little bald man who appeared to be the receptionist, saying, “We’re here for our appointment. Miss Cavallo, please.”
80“Certainly, Ma’am,” he said with a gap-toothed smile, and worked a combination of rods and buttons on the desk beside him. In a moment, he said, “Go right in. Three up and four over; can’t miss it.”
80“Of course, Ma’am,” he said with a toothy grin, and fiddled with a mix of levers and buttons on the desk next to him. A moment later, he said, “You can go right in. Three up and four over; can’t miss it.”
They passed through a noisy territory of machines where metal was sliced, spun, hacked, and planed; no one seemed to be paying any attention to them. Ross wondered who had built the machines, and had a sudden flash of realization as to where those builders were now: On “Minerva,” staring at the unattainable free sky.
They walked through a loud area filled with machines where metal was cut, spun, chopped, and smoothed; nobody seemed to notice them. Ross thought about who had made the machines and suddenly realized where those builders were now: On “Minerva,” looking up at the unreachable open sky.
Miss Cavallo was a motherly type with a large black cigar. “Sit right down,” she said heartily. “You, too, young man. Tell me what we in Cavallo Company can do for you.”
Miss Cavallo was a nurturing person with a big black cigar. “Have a seat,” she said warmly. “You as well, young man. Let me know how we at Cavallo Company can help you.”
Helena opened her mouth, but Ross stopped her with a gesture. “That’s enough,” he said quietly. “I’ll take over. Miss Cavallo,” he declaimed from memory, “what follows is under the seal.”
Helena opened her mouth, but Ross stopped her with a gesture. “That’s enough,” he said quietly. “I’ll take it from here. Miss Cavallo,” he declared from memory, “what comes next is confidential.”
“Is it indeed! What do you know,” she said.
“Is it really? What do you know,” she said.
Ross said, “Wesley.”
Ross said, "Wesley."
Miss Cavallo slapped her thigh admiringly. “Son of a gun,” she said admiringly. “How this takes me back—those long-ago childhood days, learning these things at my mother’s knee. Let’s see. Uh—the limiting velocity is C.”
Miss Cavallo slapped her thigh with admiration. “Wow,” she said, genuinely impressed. “This really takes me back to my childhood days when I learned all this at my mother's side. Let’s see. Uh—the limiting velocity is C.”
“But C2 is not a velocity,” Ross finished triumphantly. And, from the heart, “Miss Cavallo, you don’t begin to know how happy this makes me.”
“But C2 isn’t a speed,” Ross concluded with satisfaction. And, genuinely, “Miss Cavallo, you have no idea how happy this makes me.”
Miss Cavallo reached over and pumped his hand, then Helena’s. To the girl she said, “You’ve got a right to be a proud woman, believe me. The way he got through it, without a single stumble! Never saw anything like it in my life. Well, just tell me what I can do for you, now that that’s over.”
Miss Cavallo reached over and shook his hand, then Helena’s. To the girl she said, “You have every reason to be a proud woman, trust me. The way he handled everything, without a single stumble! I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. So, just let me know what I can do for you now that it’s all over.”
Ross took a deep, deep breath. He said earnestly, “A great deal. I don’t know where to begin. You see, it all goes back to Halsey’s Planet, where I come from. This, uh, this ship came in, a longliner, and it got some of us a little worried because, well, it seemed that some of the planets were no longer in communication. We—uh, Miss Cavallo?” She was smiling pleasantly enough, but Ross had the crazy feeling that he just wasn’t getting through to her.
Ross took a deep breath. He said seriously, “A lot. I’m not sure where to start. You see, it all goes back to Halsey’s Planet, where I’m from. This, um, this ship arrived, a longliner, and it made some of us a bit worried because, well, it seemed that some of the planets weren’t in communication anymore. We—uh, Miss Cavallo?” She was smiling sweetly enough, but Ross couldn't shake the feeling that he just wasn’t getting through to her.
81“Go right ahead,” she boomed. “God knows, I’ve got nothing against men in business; that’s old-fashioned prejudice. Take your time. I won’t bite you. Get on with your proposition, young man.”
81“Go for it,” she said loudly. “Honestly, I have nothing against men in business; that’s just outdated thinking. Take your time. I won’t attack you. Go ahead with your proposal, young man.”
“It isn’t exactly a proposition,” Ross said weakly. All of a sudden the words seemed hard to find. What did you say to a potential partner in the salvation of the human race when she just nodded and blew cigar smoke at you?
“It isn’t really a proposition,” Ross said weakly. Suddenly, the words felt hard to come by. What do you say to a potential partner in saving the human race when she just nodded and blew cigar smoke at you?
He made an effort. “Halsey’s Planet was the seventh alternate destination for this ship, and so we figured——That is, Miss Cavallo, it kind of looked like there was some sort of trouble. So Mr. Haarland—he’s the one who has the F-T-L secret on Halsey, like you do here on Azor—he passed it on to me, of course—well, he asked me to, well, sort of take a look around.” He stopped. The words by then were just barely audible anyhow; and Miss Cavallo had been looking furtively at her watch.
He made an effort. “Halsey’s Planet was the seventh alternate destination for this ship, and we figured—That is, Miss Cavallo, it seemed like there was some sort of trouble. So Mr. Haarland—he’s the one who knows the F-T-L secret on Halsey, just like you do here on Azor—he passed it on to me, of course—well, he asked me to, you know, take a look around.” He stopped. By then, his words were barely audible; and Miss Cavallo had been glancing nervously at her watch.
Miss Cavallo shrugged sympathetically to Helena. “They’re all like that under the skin, aren’t they?” she observed ambiguously. “Well, if men could take our jobs away from us, what would we do? Stay home and mind the kids?” She roared and poked a box of cigars at Helena.
Miss Cavallo shrugged sympathetically at Helena. “They’re all like that underneath, right?” she said with a hint of ambiguity. “Well, if men could take our jobs, what would we do? Just stay home and take care of the kids?” She laughed loudly and nudged a box of cigars toward Helena.
“Now,” she said briskly, “let’s get down to cases. I really enjoyed hearing those lines from you, young man, and I want you to know that I’m prepared to help you in any possible way because of them. Open a line of credit, speed up deliveries, send along some of our technical people to help you get set up—anything. Now, what can I do for you? Turret lathes? Grinders? Screw machines?”
“Now,” she said cheerfully, “let’s get to the point. I really enjoyed hearing those lines from you, young man, and I want you to know that I’m ready to help you in any way I can because of them. Open a line of credit, speed up deliveries, send over some of our technical people to help you get set up—anything. So, what can I do for you? Turret lathes? Grinders? Screw machines?”
“Miss Cavallo,” Ross said desperately, “don’t you know anything about the faster-than-light secret?”
“Miss Cavallo,” Ross said urgently, “don’t you know anything about the faster-than-light secret?”
She said impatiently, “Of course I do, young man. Said the responses, didn’t I? There’s no call for that item, though.”
She said impatiently, “Of course I do, young man. Didn’t I say the responses? But there's no need for that item, though.”
“I don’t want to buy one,” Ross cried. “I have one. Don’t you realize that the human race is in danger? Populations are dying out or going out of communication all over the galaxy. Don’t you want to do something about it before we all go under?”
“I don’t want to buy one,” Ross shouted. “I already have one. Can’t you see that the human race is in danger? Populations are dying off or losing touch all over the galaxy. Don’t you want to do something about it before it’s too late for us all?”
Miss Cavallo dropped all traces of a smile. Her face was 82like flint as she stood up and pointed to the window. “Young man,” she said icily, “take a look out there. That’s the Cavallo Machine-Tool Company. Does that look as if we’re going under?”
Miss Cavallo wiped away any hint of a smile. Her face was 82like stone as she stood up and pointed to the window. “Young man,” she said coldly, “look out there. That’s the Cavallo Machine-Tool Company. Does that look like we’re going out of business?”
“I know, but Clyde, Cyrnus One, Ragansworld—at least a dozen planets I can name—are gone. Didn’t you ever think that you might be next?”
“I know, but Clyde, Cyrnus One, Ragansworld—at least a dozen planets I can name—are gone. Didn’t you ever think that you might be next?”
Miss Cavallo kept her voice level, but only with a visible effort.
Miss Cavallo maintained a steady voice, but it took noticeable effort.
She said flatly, “No. Never. Young man, I have plenty to do right here on Azor without bothering my head about those places you’re talking about. Seventy-five years ago there was another fellow just like you; Flarney, some name like that; my grandmother told me about him. He came bustling in here causing trouble, with that old silly jingle about Wesley and C-square and so on, with some cock-and-bull story about a planet that was starving to death, stirring up a lot of commotion. Well, he wound up on ‘Minerva,’ because he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Watch out that you don’t do the same.”
She said flatly, “No. Absolutely not. Young man, I have plenty to do right here on Azor without worrying about those places you're talking about. Seventy-five years ago, there was another guy just like you; Flarney, some name like that; my grandmother told me about him. He came barging in here causing trouble, with that old ridiculous jingle about Wesley and C-square and so on, along with some far-fetched story about a planet that was starving to death, creating a lot of chaos. Well, he ended up on ‘Minerva,’ because he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Be careful you don’t end up like him.”
She marched majestically to the door. “And now,” she said, “if you’ve wasted quite enough of my time, kindly leave.”
She walked confidently to the door. “And now,” she said, “if you’ve wasted enough of my time, please leave.”
..... 8
“STUPID old bat,” Ross muttered. They were walking aimlessly down Fifteen Street, the nicely-landscaped machine tool works behind them.
“Stupid old bat,” Ross mumbled. They were wandering down Fifteen Street, the well-kept machine tool factory behind them.
Helena said timidly: “You really shouldn’t talk that way, Ross. She is older than you, after all. Old heads are——”
Helena said softly, “You really shouldn’t talk like that, Ross. She is older than you, after all. Older people are——”
“——wisest,” he wearily agreed. “Also the most conservative. Also the most rigidly inflexible; also the most firmly closed to the reception of new ideas. With one exception.”
“——wisest,” he tiredly agreed. “Also the most conservative. Also the most rigidly inflexible; also the most firmly closed to new ideas. With one exception.”
She reeled under the triple blasphemy and then faintly asked: “What’s the exception?”
She was shocked by the three insults and then weakly asked, “What’s the exception?”
Ross became aware that they were not alone. Their very manner of walking, he a little ahead, obviously leading the way, was drawing unfavorable attention from passers-by. Nothing organized or even definite—just looks ranging from puzzled distaste to anger. He said, “Somebody named Haarland. Never mind,” and in a lower voice: “Straighten up. Step out a little ahead of me. Scowl.”
Ross realized they weren’t alone. His way of walking, slightly ahead and clearly leading, was attracting negative attention from people passing by. It wasn’t anything specific—just glances that went from confused dislike to outright anger. He said, “Someone named Haarland. Never mind,” and in a quieter voice added, “Stand up straight. Move a bit ahead of me. Scowl.”
She managed it all except the scowl. The expression on her face got some stupefied looks from other pedestrians, but nothing worse.
She handled everything except the scowl. The look on her face got some clueless stares from other pedestrians, but nothing more.
Helena said loudly and plaintively: “I don’t like it here after all, Ross. Can’t we get away from all these women?”
Helena said loudly and sadly: “I really don’t like it here, Ross. Can’t we escape from all these women?”
Should the impulse seize you, placard ancient Brooklyn 84with twenty-four sheets proclaiming the Dodgers to be cellar-dwelling bums. Mount a detergent box and inform a crowd of Altairians that they are degenerate slith-fondlers if you must. Announce in a crowded Cephean bar room that Sadkia Revall is no better than she should be. From these situations you have some chance of emerging intact. But never, never pronounce the word “women” as Helena pronounced it on Fifteen Street, Novj Grad, Azor.
Should you feel the urge, plaster old Brooklyn 84with twenty-four posters calling the Dodgers a bunch of losers. Stand on a soapbox and tell a crowd of Altairians that they’re disgusting creeps if you really want to. Declare in a crowded Cephean bar that Sadkia Revall isn’t anything special. In these scenarios, you have some chance of coming through unscathed. But never, ever say the word “women” the way Helena said it on Fifteen Street, Novj Grad, Azor.
The mob took only seconds to form.
The crowd gathered in just a few seconds.
Ross and Helena found themselves with their backs to the glass doors of a food store. The handful of women who had actually heard the remark were all talking to them simultaneously, with fist-shaking. Behind them stood as many as a dozen women who knew only that something had happened and that there were comfortably outnumbered victims available. The noise was deafening, and Helena began to cry. Ross first wondered if he could bring himself to knock down a woman; then realized after studying the hulking virago in their foreground that he might bring himself to try but probably would not succeed.
Ross and Helena found themselves pressed against the glass doors of a convenience store. The few women who had actually heard the comment were all shouting at them at once, shaking their fists. Behind them stood another dozen women who only knew that something had happened and that there were easily outnumbered victims to target. The commotion was overwhelming, and Helena started to cry. Ross first considered whether he could bring himself to shove a woman; then, after looking at the imposing figure in front of them, he realized he might try, but probably wouldn’t succeed.
She seemed to be accusing Helena of masquerading, of advocating equality, of uttering obscenely antisocial statements in the public road, to the affront of all decent-minded girls.
She appeared to be accusing Helena of pretending, of promoting equality, of making shockingly antisocial remarks in public, to the embarrassment of all respectable young women.
There was violence in the air. Ross was on the point of blocking a roundhouse right when the glass doors opened behind them. The small diversion distracted the imbecile collective brain of the mob.
There was tension in the air. Ross was about to block a roundhouse punch when the glass doors opened behind them. The brief distraction caught the attention of the clueless mob.
“What’s going on here?” a suety voice demanded. “Ladies, may I please get through?”
“What's happening here?” a greasy voice asked. “Ladies, can I please get through?”
It was a man trying to emerge from the food shop with a double armful of cartons. He was a great fat slob, quite hairless, and smelling powerfully of kitchen. He wore the gravy-spotted whites of any cook anywhere.
It was a guy trying to leave the food shop with a double armful of boxes. He was a big, overweight guy, completely bald, and smelled strongly of the kitchen. He was dressed in the gravy-stained whites of any chef anywhere.
The virago said to him, “Keep out of this, Willie. This fellow here’s a masquerader. The thing I heard him say——!”
The tough woman said to him, “Stay out of this, Willie. This guy here is a fraud. The thing I heard him say——!”
“I’m not,” Helena wept. “I’m not!”
“I’m not,” Helena cried. “I’m not!”
The cook stooped to look into her face and turned on the mob. “She isn’t,” he said definitely. “She’s a lady from 85another system. She was slopping up triple antigravs at my place last night with a gang of jet pilots.”
The cook bent down to look at her and then faced the crowd. “She's not,” he said firmly. “She's a lady from another system. She was downing triple antigravs at my place last night with a group of jet pilots.”
“That doesn’t prove a thing!” the virago yelled.
"That doesn’t prove anything!" the tough woman yelled.
“Madam,” the cook said wearily, “after her third antigrav I had to trip her up and crown her. She was about to climb the bar and corner my barman.”
“Ma'am,” the cook said wearily, “after her third drink, I had to trip her and take her down. She was about to climb over the bar and corner my bartender.”
Ross looked at her fixedly. She stopped crying and nervously cleared her throat.
Ross stared at her intently. She stopped crying and nervously cleared her throat.
“So if you’ll just let us through,” the cook bustled, seizing the psychological moment of doubt. His enormous belly bulldozed a lane for them. “Beg pardon. Excuse us. Madam, will you—thank you. Beg pardon——”
“So if you’ll just let us through,” the cook hurried, taking advantage of the moment of hesitation. His big belly pushed a path for them. “Sorry. Excuse us. Ma’am, will you—thank you. Sorry——”
The lynchers were beginning to drift away, embarrassed. The party had collapsed. “Faster,” the cook hissed at them. “Beg pardon——” And they were in the clear and well down the street.
The lynchers were starting to walk away, feeling embarrassed. The gathering had fallen apart. “Hurry up,” the cook whispered to them. “Excuse me—” And they were free and heading down the street.
“Thank you, Sir,” Helena said humbly.
“Thank you, Sir,” Helena said respectfully.
“Just ‘Willie’, if you please,” the fat man said.
“Just ‘Willie,’ if you don’t mind,” the fat man said.
One hand descended on Ross’s shoulder and another on Helena’s. They both belonged to the virago. She spun them around, glaring. “I’m not satisfied with the brush-off,” she snapped. “Exactly what did you mean by that remark you made?”
One hand landed on Ross's shoulder and another on Helena's. They both belonged to the fierce woman. She turned them around, staring them down. “I’m not happy with being brushed off,” she snapped. “What exactly did you mean by that comment you made?”
Helena wailed, “It’s just that you and all these other women here seem so young.”
Helena cried, “It’s just that you and all these other women here seem so young.”
The virago’s granite face softened. She let go and tucked in a strand of steel-wool hair. “Did you really think so, dear?” she asked, beaming. “There, I’m sorry I got excited. A wee bit jealous, were you? Well, we’re broad-minded here in Novj Grad.” She patted Helena’s arm and walked off, smiling and jaunty.
The tough woman's hard expression softened. She released her grip and tucked a strand of wiry hair behind her ear. “Did you really think that, sweetheart?” she asked with a bright smile. “Sorry for getting a bit excited. Were you feeling a little jealous? Well, we're pretty open-minded here in Novj Grad.” She patted Helena's arm and walked away, smiling and in good spirits.
Virgin Willie led off and they followed him. Ross’s knees were shaky. The virago had not known that to Helena “young” meant “stupid.”
Virgin Willie took the lead and they followed him. Ross's knees were trembling. The fierce woman didn't realize that to Helena, "young" meant "stupid."
The cook absently acknowledged smiles and nods as they walked. He was, obviously, a character. Between salutes he delivered a low-voiced, rapid-fire reaming to Ross and Helena. “Silly stunt. Didn’t you hear about the riots? Supposed to be arms caches somewhere here on the south side. Everybody’s nerves absolutely ragged. Somebody gets 86smashed up in traffic, they blame it on us. Don’t care where you’re from. Watch it next time.”
The cook absentmindedly acknowledged smiles and nods as they walked. He was clearly a character. Between salutes, he quickly gave Ross and Helena a low-voiced, rapid-fire talking-to. “That was a stupid move. Didn’t you hear about the riots? There are supposed to be arms caches somewhere here on the south side. Everyone's on edge. If someone gets hurt in traffic, they blame us. Doesn’t matter where you’re from. Be careful next time.”
“We will, Willie,” Helena said contritely. “And I think you run an awfully nice restaurant.”
“We will, Willie,” Helena said apologetically. “And I think you have a really great restaurant.”
“Yeah,” said Ross, looking at her.
“Yeah,” Ross said, looking at her.
Willie muttered, “I guess you’re clear. You still staying at that hot pilot’s hangout? This is where we say good-by, then. You turn left.”
Willie said quietly, “I guess you’re free to go. Are you still hanging out at that hot pilot’s place? This is where we say goodbye then. You take a left.”
He waddled on down the street. Helena said instantly, “I don’t remember a thing, Ross.”
He walked down the street. Helena immediately said, "I don’t remember anything, Ross."
“Okay,” he said. “You don’t remember a thing.”
“Okay,” he said. “You don't remember anything.”
She looked relieved and said brightly, “So let’s get back to the hotel.”
She looked relieved and said cheerfully, “So let’s head back to the hotel.”
“Okay,” he said. Climbed the bar and tried to corner the.... Halfway to the hotel he slowed, then stopped, and said, “I just thought of something. Maybe we’re not staying there any more. After last night why should Breuer carry us on her tab? I thought we’d have some money to carry us from the Cavallos by now——”
“Okay,” he said. He climbed onto the bar and tried to corner the... Halfway to the hotel, he slowed down, then stopped, and said, “I just thought of something. Maybe we’re not staying there anymore. After last night, why should Breuer keep us on her tab? I thought we’d have some money saved up from the Cavallos by now——”
“The ship?” she asked in a small voice.
"Is it the ship?" she asked quietly.
“Across the continent. Hell! Maybe Breuer forgave and forgot. Let’s try, anyway.”
“Across the continent. Wow! Maybe Breuer moved on and let it go. Let’s give it a shot, anyway.”
They never got as far as the hotel. When they reached the square it stood on, there was a breathless rush and Bernie stood before them, panting and holding a hand over his chest. “In here,” he gasped, and nodded at a shopfront that announced hot brew. Ross thoughtlessly started first through the door and caught Bernie’s look of alarm. He opened the door for Helena, who went through smiling nervously.
They never made it to the hotel. When they got to the square it was in, there was a hurried rush, and Bernie stood in front of them, out of breath and holding a hand over his chest. “In here,” he gasped, nodding at a shopfront that advertised hot drinks. Ross mindlessly went through the door first and noticed Bernie’s look of worry. He held the door open for Helena, who walked through, smiling nervously.
They settled at a small table in an empty corner in stiff silence. “I’ve been walking around that square all morning,” Bernie said, with a cowed look at Helena.
They sat down at a small table in a quiet corner, both silent and tense. “I’ve been circling that square all morning,” Bernie said, casting a nervous glance at Helena.
Ross told her: “This young man and I had a talk yesterday at the plane while you were eating. What is it, Bernie?”
Ross told her, “This young guy and I had a conversation yesterday on the plane while you were eating. What’s up, Bernie?”
He still couldn’t believe that he was doing it, but Bernie said in a scared whisper: “Wanted to head you off and warn you. Breuer was down at the field cafe this morning, talking loud to the other hot-shots. She said you—both of you—talked equality. Said she got up with a hangover and you 87were gone. But she said there’d be six policewomen waiting in your room when you got back.” He leaned forward on the table. Ross remembered that he had been forced to sell his ration card.
He still couldn’t believe he was doing this, but Bernie said in a fearful whisper, “I wanted to warn you. Breuer was at the field cafe this morning, talking loudly with the other hot-shots. She mentioned that you—both of you—talked about equality. She claimed she woke up with a hangover and you 87 were already gone. But she said there’d be six policewomen waiting in your room when you got back.” He leaned in closer on the table. Ross remembered that he had been forced to sell his ration card.
“Here comes the waiter,” he said softly. “Order something for all of us. We have a little money. And thanks, Bernie.”
“Here comes the waiter,” he said quietly. “Order something for all of us. We have a little cash. And thanks, Bernie.”
Helena asked, “What do we do?”
Helena asked, “What do we do?”
“We eat,” Ross said practically. “Then we think. Shut up; let Bernie order.”
“We eat,” Ross said matter-of-factly. “Then we think. Be quiet; let Bernie place the order.”
They ate; and then they thought. Nothing much seemed to come from all the thinking, though.
They ate, and then they thought. But it didn't seem like all that thinking led to much.
They were a long, long way from the spaceship. Ross commandeered all of Helena’s leftover cash. It was almost, not quite, enough for one person to get halfway back to Azor City. He and Bernie turned out their pockets and added everything they had, including pawnable valuables. That helped. It made the total almost enough for one person to get three-quarters of the way back.
They were really far from the spaceship. Ross took all of Helena's leftover cash. It was almost enough, but not quite, for one person to get halfway back to Azor City. He and Bernie emptied their pockets and gathered everything they had, including items that could be pawned. That helped. It brought the total close to what one person would need to get three-quarters of the way back.
It didn’t help enough.
It wasn't helpful enough.
Ross said, “Bernie, what would happen if we, well, stole something?”
Ross asked, “Bernie, what do you think would happen if we, you know, stole something?”
Bernie shrugged. “It’s against the law, of course. They probably wouldn’t prosecute, though.”
Bernie shrugged. “It’s illegal, of course. They probably wouldn’t press charges, though.”
“They wouldn’t?”
“They wouldn’t?”
“Not if they can prove egalitarianism on you. Stealing’s against the law; preaching equality is against the state. You get the maximum penalty for that.”
“Not if they can prove equality on you. Stealing is against the law; promoting equality is against the state. You get the maximum penalty for that.”
Helena choked on her drink, but Ross merely nodded. “So we might as well take a chance,” he said. “Thanks, Bernie. We won’t bother you any more. You’ll forget you heard this, won’t you?”
Helena choked on her drink, but Ross just nodded. “So we might as well take a chance,” he said. “Thanks, Bernie. We won’t bother you again. You’ll forget you heard this, right?”
“The hell I will!” Bernie squawked. “If you’re getting out of here, I want to go with you! You aren’t leaving me behind!”
“The hell I will!” Bernie shouted. “If you’re getting out of here, I want to go with you! You aren’t leaving me behind!”
“But Bernie——” Ross started. He was interrupted by the manager, a battleship-class female with a mighty prow, who came scowling toward them.
“But Bernie——” Ross began. He was cut off by the manager, a powerful woman with a strong presence, who approached them with a frown.
“Pipe down,” she ordered coarsely. “This place is for 88decent people; we don’t want no disturbances here. If you can’t act decent, get out.”
“Be quiet,” she commanded harshly. “This place is for 88 decent people; we don’t want any disruptions here. If you can’t behave, leave.”
“Awk,” said Helena as Ross kicked her under the table. “I mean, yes ma’am. Sorry if we were talking too loud.” They watched the manager walk away in silence.
“Yikes,” said Helena as Ross kicked her under the table. “I mean, yes ma’am. Sorry if we were talking too loudly.” They watched the manager walk away in silence.
As soon as she was fairly away, Ross hissed, “It’s out of the question, Bernie. You might be jumping from the frying-pan into the fire.”
As soon as she was gone, Ross whispered, “That’s not happening, Bernie. You could be jumping from the frying pan into the fire.”
Bernie asked, startled, “The what?”
Bernie asked, startled, “The what?”
“The—never mind, it’s just an expression where I come from. It means you might get out of this place and find yourself somewhere worse. We don’t know where we’re going next; you might wish to God you were back here within the next three days.”
“The—never mind, it’s just a saying from where I’m from. It means you could leave this place and end up somewhere worse. We don’t know where we’re headed next; you might really wish you were back here in the next three days.”
“I’ll take that chance,” Bernie said earnestly. “Look, Ross, I played square with you. I didn’t have to stick my neck out and warn you. How about giving me a break too?”
“I’ll take that chance,” Bernie said sincerely. “Look, Ross, I was honest with you. I didn’t have to risk it and warn you. How about giving me a break as well?”
Helena interrupted, “He’s right, Ross. After all, we owe him that much, don’t we? I mean, if a person does that much for a person, a person ought to——”
Helena interrupted, “He’s right, Ross. After all, we owe him that much, don’t we? I mean, if someone does that much for someone, they ought to——”
“Oh, shut up.” Ross glared at both of them. “You two seem to think this is a game,” he said bitterly. “Let me set you straight, both of you. It isn’t. More hangs on what happens to me than either of you realize. The fate of the human race, for instance.”
“Oh, shut up.” Ross glared at both of them. “You two seem to think this is a joke,” he said bitterly. “Let me clarify something for you both. It’s not. More is at stake with what happens to me than either of you realize. The fate of humanity, for example.”
Helena flashed a look at Bernie. “Of course, Ross,” she said soothingly. “Both of us know that, don’t we, Bernie?”
Helena shot a glance at Bernie. “Of course, Ross,” she said gently. “We both know that, right, Bernie?”
Bernie stammered, “Sure—sure we do, Ross.” He rubbed his ankle. He went on, “Honest, Ross, I want to get the hell away from Azor once and for all. I don’t care where you’re going. Anything would be better than this place and the damned female bloodsuckers that——”
Bernie stammered, “Sure—sure we do, Ross.” He rubbed his ankle. He continued, “Honestly, Ross, I want to get the hell away from Azor once and for all. I don’t care where you’re going. Anything would be better than this place and those damned female bloodsuckers that——”
He stopped, petrified. His eyes, looking over Ross’s shoulder, were enormous.
He stopped, frozen in place. His eyes, wide as saucers, were fixed over Ross’s shoulder.
“Go on, sonny,” said a rich female voice from behind Ross. “Don’t let me and the lieutenant stop you just when you’re going good.”
“Go on, kid,” said a wealthy woman's voice from behind Ross. “Don’t let me and the lieutenant get in your way just when you’re doing well.”
“It must have been that damn manager,” Bernie said for the fifteenth time.
“It must have been that damn manager,” Bernie said for the fifteenth time.
89Ross uncrossed his legs painfully and tried lying on the floor on his side. “What’s the difference?” he asked. “They got us; we’re in the jug. And face it: somebody would have caught us sooner or later, and we might have wound up in a worse jail than this one.” He shifted uncomfortably. “If that’s possible, I mean. Why don’t they at least have beds in these places?”
89Ross uncrossed his legs awkwardly and tried lying on the floor on his side. “What’s the difference?” he asked. “They’ve got us; we’re in jail. And let’s be real: someone would’ve caught us eventually, and we could have ended up in a worse place than this one.” He shifted uncomfortably. “If that’s even possible. Why don’t they at least have beds in these places?”
“Oh,” said Bernie immediately, “some do. The jails in Azor City and Nuevo Reykjavik have beds; Novj Grad, Eleanor, and Milo don’t. I mean, that’s what they tell me,” he added virtuously.
“Oh,” Bernie said right away, “some do. The jails in Azor City and Nuevo Reykjavik have beds; Novj Grad, Eleanor, and Milo don’t. I mean, that’s what they tell me,” he added with a sense of righteousness.
“Sure,” Ross growled. “Well, what do they tell you usually happens next?”
“Sure,” Ross said gruffly. “So, what do they usually say happens next?”
Bernie spread his hands. “Different things. First there’s a hearing. That’s all over by now. Then an indictment and trial. Maybe that’s started already; sometimes they get it in on the same day as the hearing, sometimes not. Then—tomorrow sometime, most likely—comes the sentencing. We’ll know about that, though, because we’ll be there. The law’s very strict on that—they always have you in the court for sentencing.”
Bernie spread his hands. “Different things. First, there’s a hearing. That’s already done. Then there’s an indictment and trial. Maybe that’s started already; sometimes they get it on the same day as the hearing, sometimes not. Then—probably tomorrow—comes the sentencing. We’ll know about that, though, because we’ll be there. The law is very strict about that—they always make sure you’re in court for sentencing.”
Ross cried, “You mean the trial might be going on right now without us?”
Ross exclaimed, “Are you saying the trial could be happening right now without us?”
“Of course. What else? Think they’d take a chance on having the prisoners creating a disturbance during the trial?”
“Of course. What else? Do you think they’d risk having the prisoners causing a scene during the trial?”
Ross groaned and turned his face to the wall. For this, he thought, he had come the better part of a hundred light years; for this he had left a comfortable job with a brilliant future. He spent a measurable period of time cursing the memory of old Haarland and his double-jointed, persuasive tongue.
Ross groaned and turned his face to the wall. For this, he thought, he had traveled nearly a hundred light years; for this he had left a decent job with a bright future. He spent a considerable amount of time cursing the memory of old Haarland and his smooth, convincing words.
Back in the days of Ross’s early teens he had seen a good many situations like this in the tri-dis, and the hero had never failed to extricate himself by a simple exercise of superhuman strength, intellect, and ingenuity. That, Ross told himself, was just what he needed now. The trouble was, he didn’t have them.
Back in Ross's early teen years, he had witnessed many situations like this in the tri-dis, and the hero always managed to get out of them using a mix of superhuman strength, intelligence, and creativity. Ross reminded himself that’s exactly what he needed right now. The problem was, he didn’t have any of those.
All he had was the secret of faster-than-light travel. And, here on Azor as on the planet of the graybeards, it 90had laid a king-sized egg. Women, Ross thought bitterly, women were basically inward-directed and self-seeking; trust them with the secret of F-T-L; make them, like the Cavallos, custodians of a universe-racking truth; and see the secret lost or embalmed in sterile custom. What, he silently demanded of himself, did the greatest of scientific discoveries mean to a biological baby-foundry? How could any female—no single member of which class had ever painted a great picture, written a great book, composed a great sonata, or discovered a great scientific truth—appreciate the ultimate importance of the F-T-L drive? It was like entrusting a first-folio Shakespeare to a broody hen; the shredded scraps would be made into a nest. For the egg came first. Motherhood was all.
All he had was the secret to faster-than-light travel. And here on Azor, just like on the planet of the old-timers, it had turned into a huge disappointment. Women, Ross thought bitterly, were essentially self-centered and inward-focused; if you trusted them with the secret of F-T-L and let them, like the Cavallos, be guardians of a world-changing truth, you’d just see that truth lost or preserved in lifeless tradition. What, he silently questioned himself, did the greatest scientific discoveries mean to a species that was basically a factory for raising babies? How could any woman—none of whom had ever created a great piece of art, written a great book, composed a great sonata, or made a groundbreaking scientific discovery—understand the ultimate significance of the F-T-L drive? It was like giving a first edition of Shakespeare to a broody hen; the pages would just end up shredded for building a nest. Because the egg always came first. Motherhood was everything.
That explained it, of course. That, Ross told himself moodily, explained everything except why the F-T-L secret had fallen into apparently equal or worse desuetude on such planets as Gemsel, Clyde, Cyrnus One, Ragansworld, Tau Ceti II, Capella’s family of eight, and perhaps a hundred others.
That explained it, of course. That, Ross told himself moodily, explained everything except why the F-T-L secret had apparently become just as forgotten, or even more so, on planets like Gemsel, Clyde, Cyrnus One, Ragansworld, Tau Ceti II, Capella’s family of eight, and maybe a hundred others.
Ragansworld was gone entirely, drowned in a planetary nebula.
Ragansworld was completely gone, swallowed up by a cosmic nebula.
The planet of the graybeard had gone to seed; nothing new, nothing not hallowed by tradition had a chance in its decrepit social order.
The planet of the graybeard had fallen into decay; nothing fresh, nothing that wasn’t blessed by tradition had a chance in its worn-out social structure.
His home, Halsey’s Planet, was rapidly, calmly, inevitably depopulating itself.
His home, Halsey’s Planet, was quickly, smoothly, and inevitably losing its population.
And Azor had fallen into a rigid, self-centered matriarchal order that only an act of God could break.
And Azor had fallen into a strict, self-absorbed matriarchal system that only a miracle could alter.
Was there a pattern? Were there any similarities?
Was there a pattern? Were there any similarities?
Ross searched desperately in his mind; but without result. The image of Helena kept intruding itself between him and his thoughts. Was he getting sentimental about that sweet little chucklehead? Who, he hastily added, had come near to criminally assaulting him, who had climbed the....
Ross searched desperately in his mind, but came up empty. The image of Helena kept interrupting his thoughts. Was he getting sentimental about that sweet little goofball? Who, he quickly reminded himself, had nearly attacked him, who had climbed the....
He turned to the little waiter and demanded: “Will she—Helena—be on the orbital station with us if we’re all convicted?”
He turned to the young waiter and asked, “Will she—Helena—be on the orbital station with us if we all get convicted?”
91“Hmm—no, I should think not. As a responsible person, she gets the supreme penalty.”
91“Hmm—no, I don’t think so. As a responsible person, she faces the ultimate consequence.”
Ross numbly asked after a long pause, “How? Nothing—painful?” It was hard to think of Helena dangling grotesquely at a rope’s end or jolting as she sat strapped in a large, ugly chair. But there were things he had heard of which were horribly worse.
Ross numbly asked after a long pause, “How? Nothing—painful?” It was hard to think of Helena dangling grotesquely at a rope’s end or jolting as she sat strapped in a large, ugly chair. But there were things he had heard of which were horribly worse.
Bernie had been watching him. “I’m sorry,” the little man said soberly. “It’s up to the judge. She’s a foreigner, so they may consider that an extenuating circumstance and place some quick-acting poison aboard for her to take. Otherwise it’s slow starvation.”
Bernie had been watching him. “I’m sorry,” the little man said seriously. “It’s up to the judge. She’s a foreigner, so they might see that as a special circumstance and put some fast-acting poison on board for her to take. Otherwise, it’s slow starvation.”
A faint, irrational hope had begun to dawn in Ross’s mind. “Aboard what? Exactly how does it work?”
A slight, unreasonable hope started to form in Ross’s mind. “On what? How does it actually work?”
“They’ll put her aboard some hulk with the rockets disabled, fire it off into space—and that’s that. I suppose they’ll use the ship she came in——”
“They’ll put her on some old ship with the rockets disabled, launch it into space—and that’s it. I guess they’ll use the ship she arrived in——”
Ross was frantically searching his pockets. He had a stylus. “Got any paper?” he briskly demanded of Bernie.
Ross was frantically searching his pockets. He had a stylus. “Got any paper?” he quickly asked Bernie.
“Yes, but——?” The waiter blankly passed over an order book. Ross sprawled on the floor and began to scribble: “Never mind how or why this works. Do it. You saw me work the big fan-shaped computer in the center room and you can do it too. Find the master star maps in the chart room. Look up the co-ordinates of Halsey’s System. Set these co-ordinates on the twenty-seven dials marked Proximate Mass. Take the readings on the windows above the dials and set them on the cursors of the computer——” He scribbled furiously, from time to time forcing himself deliberately to slow down as the writing became an unreadable scrawl. He filled the ruled fronts of the order pages and then the backs—perhaps ten thousand closely-written words, and not one of them wasted. Haarland’s precise instructions, mercilessly drilled into him, flowed out again.
“Yes, but——?” The waiter stared blankly as he handed over an order book. Ross sprawled on the floor and started to write: “Forget how or why this works. Just do it. You saw me operate the big fan-shaped computer in the center room, and you can do it too. Find the master star maps in the chart room. Look up the coordinates of Halsey’s System. Set these coordinates on the twenty-seven dials labeled Proximate Mass. Take the readings from the windows above the dials and set them on the cursors of the computer——” He wrote frantically, occasionally forcing himself to slow down as his handwriting turned into an unreadable scrawl. He filled the lined fronts of the order pages and then the backs—maybe ten thousand closely-written words, every single one essential. Haarland’s precise instructions, drilled into him without mercy, flowed out again.
He flung the stylus down at last and read through the book again, ignoring the gaping Bernie. It was all there, as far as he could tell. Grant her a lot of luck and more brains than he privately credited her with, and she had a fighting chance of winding up within radar range of 92Halsey’s Planet. GCA could take her down from there; an annoying ship-like object hanging on the radarscopes would provoke a reconnaissance.
He finally threw the stylus down and read through the book again, ignoring the shocked Bernie. It was all there, as far as he could tell. Give her a lot of luck and more smarts than he privately thought she had, and she had a shot at ending up within radar range of 92 Halsey’s Planet. GCA could take her down from there; an annoying ship-like object showing up on the radarscopes would trigger a reconnaissance.
She knew absolutely nothing about F-T-L or the Wesley drive, but then—neither did he. That fact itself was no handicap.
She didn’t know anything about F-T-L or the Wesley drive, but then—neither did he. That fact alone was not a disadvantage.
He might rot on “Minerva,” but some word might get back to Haarland. And so would the ship. And Helena would not perish miserably in a drifting hulk.
He might rot on “Minerva,” but some word might get back to Haarland. And so would the ship. And Helena would not die miserably in a drifting wreck.
Bernie saw the mysterious job was ended and dared to ask, “A letter?”
Bernie noticed that the mysterious job was over and boldly asked, “A letter?”
“No,” Ross said jubilantly. “By God, if things break right they won’t get her. It’s like this——”
“No,” Ross said joyfully. “Honestly, if things go our way, they won’t get her. It’s like this——”
He happily began to explain that his F-T-L ship’s rockets were only auxiliaries for fine maneuvering, but he counted on the court not knowing that. If he and Helena could persuade....
He happily started to explain that the rockets on his F-T-L ship were just for fine maneuvering, but he was counting on the court not knowing that. If he and Helena could persuade....
As he went on the look on Bernie’s face changed very slowly from hope to pity to politely-simulated interest. Correspondingly Ross’s accounting became labored and faulty. The pauses became longer and at last he broke off, filled with self-contempt at his folly. He said bitterly, “You don’t think it’ll work.”
As he continued, Bernie’s expression shifted gradually from hope to pity to a feigned interest. In response, Ross’s explanation became clumsy and full of mistakes. The pauses stretched out longer until he finally stopped, overwhelmed with self-loathing for his foolishness. He said bitterly, “You don’t think it’ll work.”
“Oh, no!” Bernie protested with too much heartiness. “I could see she’s awfully mechanically-minded for a woman, even if it wouldn’t be polite to say so. Sure it’ll work, Ross. Sure!”
“Oh, no!” Bernie protested with overly enthusiastic energy. “I could tell she’s incredibly skilled with mechanics for a woman, even if it wouldn’t be polite to say that. Of course it’ll work, Ross. Absolutely!”
The hell it would.
No way it would.
At least he had disposed of a few hours. And—perhaps some bungling setting would explode the ship, or end a Wesley Jump in the heart of a white dwarf star—sudden annihilation, whiffing Helena out of existence before her body could realize that it had died, before the beginning of apprehension could darken happy absorption with a task she thought would bring her to safety.
At least he had passed the time for a few hours. And—maybe some mistake with the settings would blow up the ship, or end a Wesley Jump in the middle of a white dwarf star—instant destruction, wiping Helena out of existence before her body could even register that it had died, before the moment of fear could spoil the happy focus on a task she believed would lead her to safety.
For that reason alone he had to carry the scheme through.
For that reason alone, he had to follow through with the plan.
The courtroom was a chintzy place bright with spring flowers. Ross and Helena looked numbly at one another 93from opposite corners while the previous order of business was cleared from the docket. A wedding.
The courtroom was a tacky place bright with spring flowers. Ross and Helena looked blankly at each other from opposite corners as the previous agenda was cleared. A wedding.
The judge, unexpectedly sweet-faced and slender though gray, obviously took such parts of her work seriously. “Marylyn and Kent,” she was saying earnestly to the happy couple, “I suppose you know my reputation. I lecture people a bit before I tie the knot. Evidently it’s not such a bad idea because my marriages turn out well. Last week in Eleanor one of my girls was arrested and reprimanded for gross infidelity and a couple of years ago right here in Novj Grad one of my boys got five hundred lashes for nonsupport. Let’s hope it did them some good, but the cases were unusual. My people, I like to think, know their rights and responsibilities when they walk out of my court, and I think the record bears me out.
The judge, unexpectedly kind-looking and slender despite her gray hair, clearly took some parts of her job seriously. “Marylyn and Kent,” she said earnestly to the happy couple, “I assume you’re aware of my reputation. I give people a little talk before I marry them. Apparently, it’s not such a bad idea since my marriages tend to succeed. Just last week in Eleanor, one of my girls was arrested and reprimanded for cheating, and a couple of years ago right here in Novj Grad, one of my guys got five hundred lashes for not supporting his family. Let’s hope that taught them a lesson, but those cases were pretty unusual. I like to think my people understand their rights and responsibilities when they leave my court, and I believe the records back me up.”
“Marylyn, you have chosen to share part of your life with this man. You intend to bear his children. This should not be because your animal appetites have overcome you and you can’t win his consent in any other way but because you know, down deep in your womanly heart, that you can make him happy. Never forget this. If you should thoughtlessly conceive by some other man, don’t tell him. He would only brood. Be thrifty, Marylyn. I have seen more marriages broken up by finances than any other reason. If your husband earns a hundred Eleanors a week, spend only that and no more. If he makes fifty Eleanors a week spend only that and no more. Honorable poverty is preferable to debt. And, from a practical standpoint, if you spend more than your husband earns he will be jailed for debt sooner or later, with resulting loss to your own pocket.
“Marylyn, you’ve chosen to share a part of your life with this man. You plan to have his children. This shouldn’t be just a result of your urges overcoming you, and you can’t get his agreement any other way, but because you genuinely believe, deep down in your heart, that you can make him happy. Never forget this. If you accidentally get pregnant by another man, don’t tell him. He would just dwell on it. Be careful, Marylyn. I’ve seen more marriages fall apart because of money than for any other reason. If your husband earns a hundred Eleanors a week, spend only that and no more. If he makes fifty Eleanors a week, spend only that and no more. Being honorably poor is better than being in debt. And from a practical viewpoint, if you spend more than your husband makes, he will eventually end up jailed for debt, which will hurt your finances too.”
“Kent, you have accepted the proposal of this woman. I see by your dossier that you got in just under the wire. In your income group the antibachelor laws would have caught up with you in one more week. I must say I don’t like the look of it, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. I want to talk to you about the meaning of marriage. Not just the wage assignment, not just the insurance policy, not just the waiver of paternity and copulation ‘rights’, so-called. Those, as a good citizen, you will abide 94by automatically—Heaven help you if you don’t. But there is more to marriage than that. The honor you have been done by this woman who sees you as desirable and who wishes to make you happy over the years is not a sterile legalism. Marriage is like a rocket, I sometimes think. The brute, unreasoning strength of the main jets representing the husband’s share and the delicate precise steering and stabilizing jets the wife’s. We have all of us seen too many marriages crash to the ground like a rocket when these roles were reversed. It is not reasonable to expect the wife to provide the drive—that is, the income. It is not reasonable to expect the husband to provide the steering—that is, the direction of the personal and household expenditures. So much for the material side of things. On the spiritual side, I have little to say. The laws are most explicit; see that you obey them—and if you don’t, you had better pray that you wind up in some court other than mine. I have no patience with the obsolete doctrine that there is such a legal entity as seduction by female, despite the mouthings of certain so-called jurists who disgrace the bench of a certain nearby city.
“Kent, you've accepted this woman's proposal. I see from your file that you just made it in time. If you’d waited another week, the antibachelor laws would have caught up with you. Honestly, I’m not a fan of it, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. I want to discuss what marriage truly means. It's not just about the wage assignment, the insurance policy, or the waiver of paternity and those so-called 'rights.' Those are things you’ll automatically comply with as a good citizen—God help you if you don’t. But marriage is about more than that. You’ve been honored by this woman who finds you desirable and wants to make you happy over the years; that’s not just cold legal jargon. Sometimes I think of marriage like a rocket. The raw, unthinking power of the main jets represents the husband’s role, while the delicate, precise steering and stabilization jets represent the wife’s. We've all seen too many marriages crash like rockets when these roles are switched. It’s unrealistic to expect the wife to be the one driving—the one bringing in the income. It’s also unrealistic to expect the husband to be the one steering—the one directing personal and household spending. That covers the material aspect. When it comes to the spiritual side, I have little to add. The laws are very clear; make sure you follow them—and if you don’t, you better hope you end up in a different courtroom than mine. I have no patience for the outdated idea that there’s such a thing as seduction by a woman, despite what some so-called legal experts say who are an embarrassment to the bench of a nearby city.”
“Having heard these things, Marylyn and Kent, step forward and join hands.”
“After hearing this, Marylyn and Kent step forward and take each other's hands.”
They did. The ceremony was short and simple; the couple then walked from the courtroom under the beaming smile of the judge.
They did. The ceremony was brief and straightforward; the couple then walked out of the courtroom under the bright smile of the judge.
A burly guard next to Ross pointed at the groom. “Look,” she said sentimentally. “He’s crying. Cute!”
A big guard next to Ross pointed at the groom. “Look,” she said with emotion. “He’s crying. Adorable!”
“I don’t blame the poor sucker,” Ross flared, and then, being a man of conscience, wondered suddenly if that was why, on Halsey’s Planet, women cried at weddings.
“I don’t blame the poor guy,” Ross said angrily, and then, being a man of conscience, suddenly wondered if that was why, on Halsey’s Planet, women cried at weddings.
A clerk called: “Dear, let’s have those egalitarians front and center, please. Her honor’s terribly rushed.”
A clerk called out: “Hey, let’s get those egalitarians up front, please. The judge is in a bit of a hurry.”
Helena was escorted forward from one side, while Ross and Bernie were jostled to the fore from the other. The judge turned from the happy couple. As she looked down at the three of them the smile that curved her lips turned into something quite different. Ross, quailing, suddenly realized that he had seen just that expression once before. It was when he was very, very young, when a friend of his 95mother’s had come bustling into the kitchen where he was playing, just after she had smelled, and just before she had seen, the long-dead rat he had fetched up from the abandoned cellar across the street.
Helena was ushered forward from one side, while Ross and Bernie were pushed to the front from the other. The judge turned away from the happy couple. As she looked down at the three of them, the smile on her face shifted into something much darker. Ross, feeling uneasy, suddenly remembered seeing that same expression before. It was when he was very young, and a friend of his mother’s had rushed into the kitchen where he was playing, just after she had caught a whiff, and just before she had seen, the long-dead rat he had brought up from the abandoned cellar across the street.
While the clerk was reading the orders and indictment, the judge’s stare never wavered. And when the clerk had finished, the judge’s silent stare remained, for a long, terrible time.
While the clerk was reading the orders and indictment, the judge’s gaze never changed. And when the clerk was done, the judge’s quiet gaze stayed locked, for a long, intense moment.
In the quietest of voices, the judge said, “So.”
In the softest voice, the judge said, “So.”
Ross caught a flicker of motion out of the corner of his eye. He turned just in time to see Bernie, knees buckling, slip white-faced and unconscious to the floor. The guards rushed forward, but the judge raised a peremptory hand. “Leave him alone,” she ordered soberly. “It is kinder. Defendants, you are charged with the gravest of crimes. Have you anything to say before sentence is passed on you?”
Ross caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned just in time to see Bernie, his knees giving way, collapse white-faced and unconscious onto the floor. The guards rushed forward, but the judge raised a firm hand. “Leave him alone,” she commanded seriously. “It’s more compassionate. Defendants, you are charged with the most serious of crimes. Do you have anything to say before your sentence is handed down?”
Ross tried to force words—any words, to protest, to plead, to vilify—through his clogged throat. All he managed was a croaking sound; and Helena, by his side, nudged him sharply to silence. He turned to her sharply, and realized that this was the best chance he’d be likely to get. He clutched at her, rolled up his eyes, slumped to the floor in as close an imitation of Bernie’s swoon as he could manage.
Ross tried to push out some words—any words, to protest, to plead, to badmouth—through his blocked throat. All he managed was a croaking noise; and Helena, next to him, nudged him hard to keep quiet. He glared at her, then realized this was probably his best shot. He grabbed onto her, rolled his eyes, and collapsed to the floor in the closest imitation of Bernie’s faint he could pull off.
The judge was visibly annoyed, and this time she didn’t stop the attendants when they rushed in to kick him erect. But he had the consolation of seeing a flash of understanding cross Helena’s face, and her hand dart to a pocket with the paper he had handed her. In the confusion no one saw.
The judge looked clearly irritated, and this time she didn’t stop the attendants when they hurried in to prop him up. But he took comfort in seeing a moment of realization cross Helena’s face, and her hand quickly reach into a pocket for the paper he had given her. In the chaos, no one noticed.
The rest of the courtroom scene was kaleidoscopic in Ross’s recollection. The only part he remembered clearly was the judge’s voice as she said to him and Bernie, “——for the rest of your lives, as long as Almighty God shall, in Her infinite wisdom, permit you the breath of life, be banished from Azor and all of its allied worlds to the prison hulk in ‘Orbit Minerva.’”
The rest of the courtroom scene was a blur in Ross’s memory. The only thing he clearly remembered was the judge’s voice as she said to him and Bernie, “——for the rest of your lives, as long as Almighty God shall, in Her infinite wisdom, allow you to breathe, you are banned from Azor and all its allied worlds to the prison ship in ‘Orbit Minerva.’”
And they were hustled out as the judge, even more wrathful than before, turned to pronounce sentence on Helena.
And they were rushed out as the judge, even angrier than before, turned to deliver the sentence on Helena.
..... 9
THE guard spat disgustedly. “Fine lot of wrecks we’re getting,” she complained. “Not like the old days. They used to send real men here.” She glowered at Ross and Bernie, holding their commitment papers loosely in her hand. “And for treason, too!” she added. “Used to be it took guts to commit a crime against the state.” She shook her head, then made a noise of distaste and scribbled initials on the commitment papers. She handed them back to the pilot who had brought them up from Azor, who grinned, waved, and got out of there. “All right,” said the guard, “we have to take what we get. I’ll have to put you two on construction; you’ll never stand up under hard work. Keep your noses clean, that’s all. Up at 0500; breakfast till 0510; work detail till 1950; dinner and recreation till 2005; then lights out. Miss a formation and you miss a meal. Miss two, and you get punishment detail. Nobody misses three.”
THE guard spat in disgust. “What a bunch of wrecks we’re getting,” she complained. “Not like the old days. They used to send real men here.” She glared at Ross and Bernie, holding their commitment papers loosely in her hand. “And for treason, too!” she added. “It used to take guts to commit a crime against the state.” She shook her head, then made a noise of distaste and scribbled her initials on the commitment papers. She handed them back to the pilot who had brought them up from Azor, who grinned, waved, and got out of there. “All right,” said the guard, “we have to take what we get. I’ll have to put you two on construction; you’ll never handle hard work. Keep your noses clean, that’s all. Up at 0500; breakfast until 0510; work detail until 1950; dinner and recreation until 2005; then lights out. Miss a formation, and you miss a meal. Miss two, and you get punishment detail. Nobody misses three.”
Ross and Bernie found themselves sharing a communal cell. They had all of five minutes to look around and get oriented; then they were out on their first work detail.
Ross and Bernie ended up in a shared cell. They had just five minutes to check out their surroundings and get their bearings; then they were off to their first work assignment.
It wasn’t so bad as it sounded. Their shiftmates were a couple of dozen ragged-looking wrecks, half-heartedly assembling a sort of meccano-toy wall out of sheets of perforated steel and clip-spring bolts. All the parts seemed 97well worn; some of the bolts hardly closed. It took Ross the better part of his first detail, whispering when the guards were looking the other way, to find out why. Their half of the prisoners were Construction; the other half was Demolition. What Construction in the morning put up, Demolition in the evening tore down. Neither side was anxious to set any speed records, and the guards without exception were too bored to care.
It wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Their coworkers were a group of ragged-looking people, halfheartedly putting together a sort of toy wall from sheets of perforated steel and clip-spring bolts. All the parts looked worn out; some of the bolts barely fit. It took Ross most of his first shift, whispering when the guards weren’t looking, to figure out why. Half of the prisoners were Construction; the other half was Demolition. What Construction built up in the morning, Demolition took down in the evening. Neither side was in a hurry to break any speed records, and the guards, without exception, were too bored to care.
With any kind of luck, Ross found, he could hope eventually to get a real job—manning the “Minerva’s” radar, signal, or generating facilities, working in the kitchens or service shops, perhaps even as an orderly in the guard quarters. (Although Ross quite by accident chanced to see a guard’s orderly as he passed through a corridor near the work area, a handkerchief held daintily to his nose. And though the orderly’s clothing was neat and his plump cheeks indicated good eating, the haunted expression in his eyes made Ross think twice.)
With a bit of luck, Ross thought he might eventually land a real job—operating the "Minerva's" radar, signal, or power generation systems, working in the kitchens or service areas, or maybe even as an orderly in the guard quarters. (Although Ross accidentally saw a guard's orderly as he walked through a hallway near the work area, a handkerchief delicately held to his nose. And while the orderly's outfit was tidy and his round cheeks suggested he ate well, the haunted look in his eyes made Ross think twice.)
The one thing he could not do, according to the testimony of every man he spoke to, was escape.
The one thing he couldn't do, based on what every guy he talked to said, was escape.
The fifth time Ross got that answer, the guard had stepped out of the room. Ross took the opportunity to thrash the thing through. “Why?” he demanded. “Back where I come from we’ve got lots of prisons. I never heard of one nobody escaped from.”
The fifth time Ross received that answer, the guard had stepped out of the room. Ross seized the chance to push through. “Why?” he insisted. “Where I come from, there are plenty of prisons. I’ve never heard of one that nobody escaped from.”
The other prisoner laughed shortly. “Now you have,” he said. “Go ahead, try. Every one of us has tried, one time or another. There’s only one thing stopping you—there’s no place to go. You can get past the guards easy enough—they’re lazy, when they’re not either drunk or boy-chasing. You can roam around ‘Minerva’ all you like. You can even get to the spacelock, and if you want to you can walk right through it. But not in a spacesuit, because there aren’t any on board. And not into the tender that brings us up from Azor, because you aren’t built right.”
The other prisoner chuckled briefly. “Now you know,” he said. “Go ahead, give it a shot. Every one of us has attempted it at some point. There’s just one thing holding you back—there’s nowhere to go. You can get past the guards without much hassle—they’re pretty lazy when they’re not drunk or chasing after someone. You can wander around ‘Minerva’ as much as you want. You can even reach the spacelock, and if you want, you can walk right through it. But not in a spacesuit, because there aren’t any on board. And you can’t get into the tender that brings us up from Azor, because you aren’t made for that.”
Ross looked puzzled. “Not built right?”
Ross looked confused. “Not built right?”
“That’s right. There’s telescreens and remote-control locks built into that tender. The pilot brings you up, but once she couples with ‘Minerva’ the controls lock. And the only way they get unlocked is when three women, in 98three different substations down on Azor, push the RC releases. And they don’t do that until they look in their screens, and see that everybody who has turned up in the tender has stripped down to nothing at all, and every one of them is by-God female. Any further questions?” He grinned wryly. “Don’t even think about plastic surgery, if that happens to cross your mind,” he said. “We have two men here who tried it. You don’t have much equipment here; you can’t do a neat enough job.”
“That’s right. There are telescreens and remote-control locks built into that tender. The pilot brings you up, but once she connects with ‘Minerva,’ the controls lock. The only way they get unlocked is when three women, in 98three different substations down on Azor, press the RC releases. And they won’t do that until they look at their screens and see that everyone who showed up in the tender has stripped down to nothing at all, and each one of them is definitely female. Any more questions?” He grinned wryly. “Don’t even think about plastic surgery if that happens to cross your mind,” he said. “We have two men here who tried it. You don’t have much equipment here; you can’t do a precise enough job.”
Ross gulped. “Hadn’t given it a thought,” he assured the other man. “You can’t even hide away in a trunk or something?”
Ross swallowed hard. “I didn’t think about it,” he told the other man. “Can’t you just stash yourself in a trunk or something?”
The prisoner shook his head. “Aren’t any trunks. Everything’s one way—Azor to ‘Minerva’—except pilots and guards. No men ever go back. When you die, you go out the lock—without a ship. Same with everything else that they want to get rid of.”
The prisoner shook his head. “There aren’t any trunks. Everything goes one way—Azor to ‘Minerva’—except for pilots and guards. No one ever goes back. When you die, you leave through the lock—without a ship. It’s the same with anything else they want to get rid of.”
Ross thought hard. “What if they—well, what if you’re sent up here and all, and then some new evidence turns up and you’re found innocent? Don’t they send you back then?”
Ross thought hard. “What if they—well, what if you're sent up here and everything, and then some new evidence comes up and you're found innocent? Don’t they send you back then?”
“Found innocent?” The man looked at Ross pityingly. “Man, you are new. Hey,” he called. “Hey, Chuck! This guy wants to know what happens if they find out back on Azor that he’s innocent!”
“Found innocent?” The man looked at Ross with sympathy. “Dude, you really are new. Hey,” he called. “Hey, Chuck! This guy wants to know what happens if they find out back on Azor that he’s innocent!”
Chuck exploded into laughter. Wiping his eyes, he walked over to Ross. “Thanks,” he grinned. “Haven’t had a good laugh in fifteen years.”
Chuck burst into laughter. Wiping his eyes, he walked over to Ross. “Thanks,” he smiled. “I haven’t had a good laugh in fifteen years.”
“I don’t see that that’s so funny,” Ross said defensively. “After all, the judge can make a mistake, none of us is per—awk!”
“I don’t think that’s funny at all,” Ross said defensively. “After all, the judge can make a mistake; none of us is perfect—awk!”
“Shut up!” Chuck hissed, holding a hand over Ross’s mouth. “Do you want to get us all in real trouble? Some of these guys would rat to the guards for an extra hunk of bread! The judges never make a mistake.” And his lips formed the silent word: “Officially.”
“Be quiet!” Chuck hissed, covering Ross’s mouth with his hand. “Do you want to get us all in serious trouble? Some of these guys would snitch to the guards for an extra piece of bread! The judges never mess up.” And his lips silently formed the word: “Officially.”
He let go of Ross and stood back, but didn’t walk away. He scratched his head. “Say,” he said, “you ask some stupid questions. Where are you from, anyhow?”
He released Ross and stepped back, but didn’t move away. He rubbed his head. “Hey,” he said, “you ask some really dumb questions. Where are you from, anyway?”
Ross said bitterly, “What’s the use? You won’t believe 99me. I happen to be from a place called Halsey’s Planet, which is a good long distance from here. About as far as light will travel in two hundred years, if that gives you an idea. I came here in an F-T-L—that is, a faster-than-light ship. You don’t know what that is, of course, but I did. It was a mistake, I admit it. But here I am.”
Ross said bitterly, “What’s the point? You won’t believe me. I’m from a place called Halsey’s Planet, which is a really long way from here. About as far as light travels in two hundred years, if that helps you understand. I got here in an F-T-L—that is, a faster-than-light ship. You probably don’t know what that is, but I do. It was a mistake, I’ll admit that. But here I am.”
Somewhat to Ross’s surprise, Chuck didn’t laugh again. He looked dubious, and he scratched his head some more, but he didn’t laugh. To the other prisoner he said, “What do you think, Sam?”
Somewhat to Ross’s surprise, Chuck didn’t laugh again. He looked doubtful, and he scratched his head some more, but he didn’t laugh. To the other prisoner he said, “What do you think, Sam?”
Sam shrugged. “So maybe we were wrong,” he observed.
Sam shrugged. “So maybe we were mistaken,” he noted.
Ross demanded, “Wrong about what?”
Ross asked, “Wrong about what?”
“Well,” Chuck said hesitantly, “there’s a guy here named Flarney. He’s a pretty old son-of-a-gun by now, must be at least ninety, and he’s been here a good long time. Dunno how long. But he talks crazy, just like you. No offense,” he added, “it’s just that we all thought he’d gone space-happy. But maybe we’re wrong. Unless——” his eyes narrowed “unless the two of you are both space-happy, or trying to kid us, or something.”
"Well," Chuck said hesitantly, "there’s a guy here named Flarney. He’s pretty old, probably at least ninety, and he’s been around for a long time. I’m not sure how long. But he talks crazy, just like you. No offense," he added, "it’s just that we all thought he’d lost it. But maybe we’re wrong. Unless—" his eyes narrowed, "unless the two of you are both losing it, or trying to mess with us, or something."
Ross said urgently, “I swear, Chuck, there’s no such thing. It’s true. Who’s this Flarney? Where does he say he came from?”
Ross said urgently, “I swear, Chuck, there’s no such thing. It’s true. Who’s this Flarney? Where does he say he’s from?”
“Who can make sense out of what he says? All I know is, he talked a lot about something faster than light. That’s crazy; that’s like saying slower than dark, or bigger than green, or something. But I don’t know, maybe it means something.”
“Who can figure out what he means? All I know is he went on and on about something faster than light. That’s insane; it’s like saying slower than dark, or bigger than green, or something like that. But I don’t know, maybe it means something.”
“Believe me, Chuck, it does! Where is this man—can I see him?”
“Believe me, Chuck, it really does! Where is this guy—can I see him?”
Chuck looked uncertain. “Well, sure. That is, you can see him all right. But it isn’t going to do you a whole hell of a lot of good, because he’s dead. Died yesterday; they’re going to pitch him out into space sometime today.”
Chuck looked unsure. “Well, yeah. I mean, you can see him just fine. But it’s not going to help you much because he’s dead. He died yesterday; they’re going to launch him out into space sometime today.”
Sam said, “This is when Whitker flips. One week without his old pal Flarney and he’ll begin to look funny. Two weeks and he starts acting funny. Three and he’s talking funny and the guards begin to crack down. I give him a month to get shot down and heaved through the locker.”
Sam said, “This is when Whitker changes. One week without his old buddy Flarney and he’ll start to seem off. Two weeks and he’ll begin to act strange. Three weeks and he’s talking weird and the guards start to tighten up. I give him a month before he gets handled and thrown out through the locker.”
100Old pal? Ross demanded, “Who’s this Whitker? Where can I get in touch with him?”
100Old buddy? Ross asked, “Who’s this Whitker? How can I get in touch with him?”
“Him and Flarney were both latrine orderlies. That’s where they put the feeble old men, mopping and polishing. Number Two head, any hour of the day or night. Old buzzard has his racket—we’re supposed to get a hank of cellosponge per man per day, but he’s always ‘fresh out’—unless you slip him your saccharine ration every once in a while.”
“Him and Flarney were both bathroom attendants. That’s where they put the weak old men, cleaning and scrubbing. Number Two head, any time of the day or night. That old guy has his scheme—we’re supposed to get a chunk of toilet sponge per man per day, but he’s always ‘out’—unless you hand over your saccharine ration every now and then.”
Ross asked the way to Number Two head and the routine. But it was an hour before he could bring himself to ask the hulking guard for permission.
Ross asked for directions to Number Two head and the routine. But it took him an hour to find the courage to ask the massive guard for permission.
“Sure, sonny,” she boomed. “I’ll show you the way. Need any help?”
“Sure thing, kid,” she said loudly. “I’ll show you the way. Need any help?”
“No, thanks, ma’am,” he said hastily, and she roared with laughter. So did the members of the construction gang; it must have been an ancient gag. He hurried on his way thinking dark and bloody thoughts.
“No, thanks, ma’am,” he said quickly, and she burst out laughing. The construction crew did too; it must have been an old joke. He continued on his way, filled with grim thoughts.
“Whitker?” he asked a tottering ancient who nodded and drowsed amid the facilities of the head.
“Whitker?” he asked a shaky old man who nodded and dozed off in the midst of the amenities of the restroom.
The old man looked up blearily and squeaked: “Fresh out. Fresh out. You should’ve saved some from yesterday.”
The old man looked up groggily and said, “All gone. All gone. You should’ve saved some from yesterday.”
“That’s all right. I’m a new man here. I want to ask you about your friend Flarney——”
“That’s okay. I’m new here. I want to ask you about your friend Flarney——”
Whitker bowed his head and began to cry noiselessly.
Whitker bowed his head and started to cry silently.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Whitker. I heard. But there’s something we can do about it—maybe. Flarney was a faster-than-light man. He must have told you that. So am I. Ross, from Halsey’s Planet.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Whitker. I heard. But there’s something we can do about it—maybe. Flarney was a faster-than-light man. He must have told you that. So am I. Ross, from Halsey’s Planet.”
He hadn’t the faintest idea as to whether any of this was getting through to the ancient.
He had no clue whether any of this was getting through to the old man.
“It seems Flarney and I were both on the same mission, finding out how and why planets were dropping out of communication. You and he used to talk a lot, they tell me. Did he ever tell you anything about that?”
“It looks like Flarney and I were both on the same mission, trying to figure out how and why planets were losing communication. I’ve heard you and he used to talk a lot. Did he ever share anything about that with you?”
Whitker looked up and squeaked dimly. “Oh, yes. All the time. I humored him. He was an old man, you know. And now he’s dead.” The tears leaked from his rheumy eyes and traced the sad furrows beside his nose.
Whitker looked up and replied softly, “Oh, yes. All the time. I went along with him. He was an old man, you know. And now he’s gone.” Tears streamed from his watery eyes and followed the unhappy lines beside his nose.
101Was he getting through? “What did he say, Mr. Whitker? About faster-than-light?”
101Was he making progress? “What did he say, Mr. Whitker? About faster-than-light?”
The old man said, “L-sub-T equals L-sub-zero e to the minus T-over-two-N.”
The old man said, “L_t = L_0 e^(-T/2N).”
That damned formula again! “But what does it mean, Mr. Whitker? What did he say it meant?” Ross softly urged.
That damn formula again! “But what does it mean, Mr. Whitker? What did he say it meant?” Ross gently pressed.
The old man looked surprised. “Genes?” he asked himself hazily. “Generations? I don’t remember. But you go to Earth, young man. Flarney said they’d know, and know what to do about it, too, which is more than he did. His very words, young man!”
The old man looked surprised. “Genes?” he asked himself, thinking. “Generations? I don’t remember. But you go to Earth, young man. Flarney said they’d know, and know what to do about it, too, which is more than he did. His very words, young man!”
Ross didn’t dare stay longer. Furthermore he suspected that the old man’s attention span had been exhausted. He started from the room with a muttered thanks, and was stopped at the door by Whitker’s hand on his shoulder.
Ross didn’t dare stay any longer. He also suspected that the old man’s attention span was running out. He started to leave the room with a quiet thanks, but was stopped at the door by Whitker’s hand on his shoulder.
“You’re a good boy,” Whitker squeaked. “Here.”
“You’re a good boy,” Whitker said. “Here.”
Ross found himself walking down the corridor with an enormous wad of cellosponge in his hand.
Ross found himself walking down the hallway with a huge wad of cellosponge in his hand.
The bunks were hard, but that didn’t matter. Dormitories were the outermost layer of the hulk, pseudogravity varies inversely as the fourth power of the distance, and the field generator was conventionally located near “Minerva’s” center. When your relative weight is one-quarter normal you can sleep deliciously on a gravel driveway. This was the dormitory’s only attractive feature. Otherwise it was too many steel slabs, tiered and spotted too close, too many unwashed males, too much weary snoring. The only things in short supply were headroom and air.
The bunks were uncomfortable, but that didn’t matter. Dormitories were the outer layer of the massive structure, and the pseudogravity fluctuated based on distance. The field generator was usually located near the center of "Minerva." When your weight feels like just a quarter of normal, you can sleep just fine on a gravel driveway. That was the dormitory’s only appealing aspect. Aside from that, it was just too many steel slabs stacked too close together, too many unwashed guys, and way too much tired snoring. The only things in short supply were headroom and air.
Not everybody slept. Insomniacs turned and grunted; those who had given up the struggle talked from bunk to bunk in considerately low tones.
Not everyone was sleeping. Insomniacs tossed and sighed; those who had given up the fight chatted quietly from bunk to bunk.
Bernie muttered from a third-tier bunk facing Ross’s: “I wonder if she made it.”
Bernie mumbled from a bottom bunk facing Ross's: “I wonder if she made it.”
Ross knew what he meant. “Unlikeliest thing in the world,” he said. “But I think she went fast and never knew what hit her.” He thought of the formula and “They’d know on Earth—and know what to do about it too.” Earth the enigma, from which all planetary peoples were supposed to be derived. Earth—the dot on the traditional master 102charts, Earth—from which and to which no longliners ever seemed to travel. Haarland had told him no F-T-L ship had in recent centuries ever reported again after setting out for Earth. Another world sunk in barbarism? But Flarney had said—no; that was not data. That was the confused recollections of a very old man, possibly based on the confused recollections of another very old man. Perhaps it had got mixed up with the semilegendary origin story.
Ross understood what he meant. “The most unlikely thing in the world,” he said. “But I think she went quickly and never even realized what happened.” He thought about the data and “They’d know on Earth—and know how to handle it too.” Earth, the mystery, where all planetary people were said to have come from. Earth—the tiny dot on the traditional master charts, Earth—from which no long-distance ships ever seemed to travel. Haarland had told him no faster-than-light ship had reported back in recent centuries after heading out for Earth. Another world lost to barbarism? But Flarney had said—no; that wasn’t solid evidence. That was just the muddled memories of a very old man, possibly based on the mixed-up recollections of another very old man. Maybe it got confused with the semilegendary origin story.
Poor sweet Helena! He hoped it had happened fast, that she had been thinking of some pleasant prospect on Halsey’s Planet. In her naïve way she’d think it just around the corner, a mere matter of following instructions....
Poor sweet Helena! He hoped it had happened quickly, that she had been imagining some nice future on Halsey’s Planet. In her innocent way, she’d believe it was just around the corner, simply a matter of following the instructions...
So thought Ross, the pessimist.
So thought Ross, the skeptic.
In his gloom he had forgotten that this was exactly what it was. In his snobbishness he never realized that he was guilty of the most frightful arrogance in assuming that what he could do, she could not. In his ignorance he was not aware that since navigation began, every new instrument, every technique, has drawn the shuddery warnings of savants that uneducated skippers, working by rote, could not be expected to master these latest fruits of science—or that uneducated skippers since navigation began have cheerfully adopted new instruments and techniques at the drop of a hat and that never once have the shuddery warnings been justified by the facts.
In his misery, he had completely forgotten what this really was. In his elitism, he never realized he was being extremely arrogant by assuming that what he could do, she couldn’t. In his naivety, he didn’t recognize that since the beginning of navigation, every new tool and technique has come with the nervous warnings from experts that untrained captains, relying on habits, wouldn’t be able to handle these latest advancements in science—or that untrained captains, since navigation started, have eagerly embraced new tools and techniques without hesitation, and those nervous warnings have never been backed up by reality.
Up the aisle somebody was saying in a low, argumentative tone, “I saw the drum myself. Naturally it was marked Dulsheen Creme, but the guards here never did give a damn whether their noses were dull or bright enough to flag down a freighter and I don’t think they’ve suddenly changed. It was booze, I tell you. Fifty liters of it.”
Up the aisle, someone was saying in a low, heated tone, “I saw the drum myself. Sure, it was labeled Dulsheen Creme, but the guards here never cared whether their noses were dull or sharp enough to stop a freighter, and I don’t think they’ve suddenly changed. It was booze, I’m telling you. Fifty liters of it.”
“Gawd! The hangovers tomorrow.”
“Ugh! The hangovers tomorrow.”
“We’ll all have to watch our steps. I hope they don’t do anything worse than getting quietly drunk in their quarters. Those foot-kissing orderlies’ll get a workout, but who cares what happens to an orderly?”
“We all need to be careful. I hope they don’t do anything worse than getting quietly drunk in their rooms. Those foot-kissing orderlies will be busy, but who cares what happens to an orderly?”
“They haven’t been on a real tear since I’ve been here.”
“They haven’t really been on a roll since I got here.”
“Lucky you. Let’s hope they don’t bust loose tonight. It’s 103a break in the monotony, sure—but those girls play rough. Five prisoners died last time.”
“Lucky you. Let’s hope they don’t break free tonight. It’s 103a change from the usual, for sure—but those girls play hard. Five inmates died last time.”
“They beat them up?”
"Did they beat them up?"
“One of them.”
"One of them."
“What about the others? Oh! Oh, Gawd—fifty liters, you said?”
“What about the others? Oh! Oh, God—fifty liters, you said?”
Bernie began to whimper: “Not again! Not those plug-uglies! I swear I’ll throw myself through the spacelock if they make a pass at me. Ross, isn’t there anything we can do?”
Bernie started to whine, “Not again! Not those ugly guys! I swear I’ll throw myself out of the spacelock if they come on to me. Ross, is there anything we can do?”
“Seems not, Bernie. Maybe they won’t come in. Or if they do, maybe they’ll pass you by. There certainly isn’t any place to hide.”
“Doesn't seem like it, Bernie. Maybe they won’t show up. Or if they do, maybe they'll just overlook you. There really isn’t anywhere to hide.”
A raucous female voice roared through the annunciator: “Bed check five minutes, boys. Anybody got any li’l thing to do down the hall, better do it now. See you lay-terrr!” Hiccup and drunken giggle.
A loud female voice shouted through the speaker: “Bed check in five minutes, boys. If anyone has anything to do down the hall, you better do it now. See you later!” Hiccup and drunken giggle.
For the first time in his life Ross suddenly and spontaneously acted like a tri-di hero, with the exception that he felt like a silly ass through it all.
For the first time in his life, Ross suddenly and spontaneously acted like a three-dimensional hero, except he felt like a complete fool the entire time.
“Got an idea,” he muttered. “Get out of your bunk.” He pulled the wad of cellosponge, old Whitker’s present, from his pocket and yanked it in half, one for him and one for Bernie.
“Got an idea,” he mumbled. “Get out of your bunk.” He pulled the lump of cellosponge, old Whitker’s gift, from his pocket and tore it in half, one for him and one for Bernie.
The Pullover said faintly: “Thanks, but I don’t have to——”
The Pullover said softly, “Thanks, but I don’t need to—”
Ross didn’t bother to answer. He was carefully fluffing the stuff out to its maximum dimensions. He unzipped his coveralls and began wadding them with cellosponge.
Ross didn’t reply. He was carefully fluffing the material to its fullest size. He unzipped his coveralls and started stuffing them with cellosponge.
“I get it,” Bernard said softly. He stepped out of his one-piece garment and followed suit. In less than a minute they had creditable dummies lying on their bunks.
“I get it,” Bernard said quietly. He took off his one-piece suit and did the same. In under a minute, they had decent dummies lying on their bunks.
The others watched their activity with emotions ranging between awe and envy. One giant of a man proclaimed grimly to whoever cared to listen: “These are a couple of smart guys. I wish them luck. And I want you guys to know that I will personally break the back of any sneaking rat who tips off a guard about this.”
The others watched what they were doing with feelings that swung from admiration to jealousy. One huge guy declared grimly to anyone who would listen, “These are a couple of smart guys. I wish them luck. And I want you all to know that I will personally take down any sneaky rat who warns a guard about this.”
“Sure, Ox. Sure,” came a muted chorus.
“Sure, Ox. Sure,” came a quiet chorus.
Arranged in a fetal sleeping position, face down, the 104dummies astonished even their creators. It would take a lucky look in a fair light to note that the heads were earless, fibrous globes.
Arranged in a fetal sleeping position, face down, the 104dummies amazed even their creators. You would need a lucky glance in good lighting to see that the heads were earless, fibrous spheres.
“They’ll do,” Ross snapped. “Come on, Bernie.”
“They’ll work,” Ross snapped. “Let’s go, Bernie.”
They walked quietly from the dormitory in their singlet underwear toward the dormitory latrine—and past it. Into the corridor. Through a doorless opening into a storeroom piled with crates of rations. “This’ll do,” Ross said quietly. They ducked into a small cavern formed by sloppy issuing of stock and hunched down.
They walked quietly from the dorm in their tank top underwear toward the bathroom—and past it. Into the hallway. Through a doorless opening into a storeroom stacked with crates of supplies. “This’ll work,” Ross said quietly. They ducked into a small nook formed by the haphazard stacking of stock and crouched down.
“The dummies will fool the bed check. It’s only a sweep with a hundred-line TV system. If the guards do raid the dormitory tonight we’ll have to count on them ignoring the dummies or thinking they’re a joke or being too busy with other things to care. They’ll be drunk, after all. Then in the morning things’ll be plenty disorganized. We’ll be able to sneak back into formation—and that’ll be that for a matter of years. They can’t often bribe the pilots with enough to guarantee a real ripsnorting drunk. Now try and get some sleep. There’s nothing more we can do.”
"The dummies will fool the bed check. It’s just a sweep with a hundred-line TV system. If the guards raid the dorm tonight, we’ll have to hope they ignore the dummies, think they’re a joke, or are too busy with other things to care. They’ll be drunk, after all. Then in the morning, things will be pretty chaotic. We’ll be able to sneak back into formation—and that’ll be that for a few years. They can’t usually bribe the pilots enough to guarantee a real wild night. Now try to get some sleep. There’s nothing more we can do."
They actually did doze off for a couple of hours, and then were awakened by drunken war whoops.
They really did fall asleep for a couple of hours, and then were woken up by loud drunken shouts.
“It’s them!” Bernie wailed.
“They're the ones!” Bernie wailed.
“Shut up. They’re heading for the dormitory. We’re safe.”
“Shut up. They’re going to the dorm. We’re safe.”
“Safe!” Bernie echoed derisively. “Safe until when?”
“Safe!” Bernie said mockingly. “Safe until when?”
Ross threatened him with the side of his hand and Bernie was quiet, though his lips were mumbling soundlessly. The guards lurched giggling past and Ross said:
Ross threatened him with the side of his hand, and Bernie stayed silent, though his lips were moving without sound. The guards stumbled by, laughing, and Ross said:
“We’ll sneak into the lockroom. There won’t be anybody there tonight; at least we’ll get a night’s sleep.”
“We’ll sneak into the locker room. There won’t be anyone there tonight; at least we’ll get a good night’s sleep.”
“Big deal,” grumbled Bernie, but he followed, complaining inarticulately to himself. Ross thought tiredly: All this work for a night’s sleep! And saw, half-formed, the dreadful procession of days and nights and years ahead....
“Big deal,” complained Bernie, but he went along, muttering to himself. Ross thought wearily: All this effort for just one night of sleep! He could vaguely see the awful parade of days, nights, and years to come....
They reached the lockroom and stumbled in breathlessly.
They arrived at the locker room and rushed in, out of breath.
“Dearie!” Two guards, playing a card game on the floor with a ring of empty bottles around them, looked up in drunken delight. “Dearie!” repeated the bigger of the two. “Angela, look what we’ve got!”
“Hey there!” Two guards, playing a card game on the floor with a circle of empty bottles around them, looked up in drunken joy. “Hey there!” repeated the bigger of the two. “Angela, check out what we’ve got!”
105Ross said stupidly. “But you shouldn’t be here——”
105Ross said foolishly. “But you shouldn’t be here——”
The guard made a clumsy pass at fluffing up her back hair and giggled. “Duty comes first, dearie. Angela, just lock that door, will you?” The other guard scrambled unevenly to her feet and weaved over to the door. It was locked before Ross or Bernie could move.
The guard awkwardly tried to fix her messy back hair and laughed. “Responsibilities come first, sweetheart. Angela, just lock that door, okay?” The other guard got up unsteadily and stumbled over to the door. It was locked before Ross or Bernie could react.
The big guard stood up too, leering at Bernie. “Wow!” she said. “New merchandise. Just be patient, dearie. We’ve got a little something to attend to in a couple of minutes, but we’ll have lots of time after that.”
The big guard stood up too, sneering at Bernie. “Wow!” she said. “New stuff. Just hang tight, hon. We’ve got something to take care of in a few minutes, but we’ll have plenty of time after that.”
Then things began to happen rapidly. There was Angela the guard, inarticulate, falling-down drunk; she waved bonelessly at a brightly flickering light on the far side of the lockroom. There was the other guard, reaching out for Bernie with one hand, pawing at a bottle with the other. There was Ross, a paralyzed spectator.
Then things started happening quickly. There was Angela the guard, slurring her words and clearly drunk; she waved weakly at a bright, flickering light on the other side of the locker room. There was the other guard, reaching for Bernie with one hand while grabbing a bottle with the other. There was Ross, a helpless bystander.
And there was Bernie.
And there was Bernie.
Bernie’s eyes bulged wide as the guard came toward him. He babbled hysterically, “No! Nonononono! I said I’d kill myself and I——”
Bernie’s eyes went wide as the guard walked toward him. He shouted frantically, “No! No no no no! I said I’d kill myself and I——”
He stiff-armed the big guard and leaped for the lock door. Ross suddenly came to life. “Bernie!” he bellowed. “Hold it! Don’t jump!”
He pushed the big guard away and jumped for the locked door. Ross suddenly sprang into action. “Bernie!” he shouted. “Stop! Don’t jump!”
But it was too late. The one guard sprawling, the other staggering helplessly across the floor, Bernie was clear. He scrabbled at the lockwheels, spun them open. Ross tensed himself for the sudden, awful rush of expanding air; he leaped after Bernie just as Bernie flung the lock door open and jumped.
But it was too late. With one guard sprawled out and the other stumbling helplessly on the floor, Bernie had a clear path. He fumbled with the lockwheels, spinning them open. Ross braced himself for the sudden, terrifying rush of air; he jumped after Bernie just as Bernie swung the lock door open and leaped.
Ross jumped after.
Ross jumped afterward.
There was no rush of air. They were not in space. Around them was no ripping, sucking void, no flaming backdrop of stars; around them were six walls and a Wesley board, and Helena peering at them wide-eyed and delighted.
There was no rush of air. They weren't in space. Surrounding them was no tearing, sucking emptiness, no blazing backdrop of stars; around them were six walls and a Wesley board, and Helena looking at them with wide eyes and excitement.
“Well!” she said. “That was fast!”
“Well!” she said. “That was quick!”
Ross said, “But——”
Ross said, “But—”
Helena, hanging from the acceleration loops, smiled 106maternally. “Oh, it was nothing,” she said. “Ross don’t you think we’re far enough away yet?”
Helena, dangling from the acceleration loops, smiled 106 maternally. “Oh, it was nothing,” she said. “Ross, don’t you think we’re far enough away yet?”
Ross said hopelessly, “All right,” and cut the drive. The starship hung in space in the limbo between stars. Azor, “Minerva,” and the rest were light-years behind, far out of range of challenge.
Ross said hopelessly, “All right,” and cut the drive. The starship hovered in space in the void between stars. Azor, “Minerva,” and the others were light-years behind, far out of reach to challenge.
Helena wriggled free from the loops and rubbed her arms where the retaining straps had gripped them. “After all,” she said demurely, “you told me how to run the ship, and really, Ross, I’m not quite stupid.”
Helena squirmed out of the loops and rubbed her arms where the straps had held them. “After all,” she said modestly, “you told me how to operate the ship, and honestly, Ross, I’m not really stupid.”
Ross said, “But——”
Ross said, “But—”
“But what, Ross? It isn’t as if I were some sort of brainless little thing that had never run a machine in her life. My goodness, Ross——” She wrinkled her nose. “You should remember. All those days in the dye vats? Don’t you think I had to learn a little something about machines there?”
“But what, Ross? It’s not like I’m some clueless little thing who’s never operated a machine in her life. Seriously, Ross—” She scrunched up her nose. “You should remember. All those days in the dye vats? Don’t you think I had to pick up a thing or two about machines there?”
Ross swore incredulously. To compare those clumsy constructs of wheels and rollers with the subtle subelectronic flows of the Wesley force—and to make it work! He said, unbelievingly, “And the ‘Minerva’ helped you vector in? They gave you the co-ordinates and radared your course?”
Ross swore in disbelief. Comparing those awkward devices of wheels and rollers to the sleek subelectronic flows of the Wesley force—and actually making it work! He said, incredulously, “So the ‘Minerva’ helped you line it up? They provided you with the coordinates and tracked your course?”
“Certainly.” Helena turned to Bernie, who was staring dazedly around him. “Are you all right, dear?” she asked.
“Sure.” Helena turned to Bernie, who was looking around in a daze. “Are you okay, hon?” she asked.
Ross turned his back on them and faced the Wesley Christmas tree of controls. Don’t question it, he told himself; take a miracle for what it is. God wanted you out of “Minerva”—and God moves in most mysterious ways His wonders to perform.
Ross turned away from them and faced the Wesley Christmas tree of controls. Don't question it, he told himself; accept a miracle for what it is. God wanted you out of "Minerva"—and God works in the most mysterious ways His wonders to perform.
Anyway, they had to get going. When the court had exiled Helena in the starship they had gone through the customary rituals; not only was everything that looked like a weapon gone, along with all but a teacup of fuel for the auxiliary jets, but the food locker was stripped entirely. He put everything else out of his mind and began to calculate a setting.
Anyway, they had to get moving. When the court had sent Helena away in the starship, they had followed the usual rituals; everything that resembled a weapon was gone, along with all but a teacup of fuel for the auxiliary jets, and the food locker was completely empty. He pushed everything else out of his mind and started to calculate a setting.
Bernie said over his shoulder, “Home, huh? That place you call Halsey’s Planet?”
Bernie said over his shoulder, “Home, huh? That place you call Halsey’s Planet?”
Ross shook his head. “Not this time. I got this far and 107I’m still alive; maybe I can finish the job. Anyway, I’ll try. The first solid suggestion I’ve had ever since I took off was what that half-witted old moron——” He ignored a little gasp from Helena. “——said back on ‘Minerva.’ If Flarney had lived, he would have gone there; we’ll go there now.” He finished manipulating the calculator and began to set it up on the board. He said, “The name of the place is—Earth.”
Ross shook his head. “Not this time. I made it this far and 107 I’m still alive; maybe I can finish the job. Anyway, I’ll give it a shot. The first solid idea I've had since I took off was what that clueless old idiot——” He ignored a little gasp from Helena. “——said back on ‘Minerva.’ If Flarney had survived, he would have gone there; so we’ll head there now.” He finished adjusting the calculator and started setting it up on the board. He said, “The name of the place is—Earth.”
..... 10
IT took Ross a while to learn a lesson, but when he learned it, it stuck. This time, he promised himself, no spaceport.
IT took Ross a while to learn a lesson, but when he did, it stuck. This time, he promised himself, no spaceport.
They sneaked into the solar system that held fabulous old Earth from far outside the ecliptic, where the chance of radar detection was least; they came to a relative dead halt millions of miles from the planet and cautiously scanned the surrounding volume of space with their own radar.
They quietly entered the solar system that contained the amazing old Earth from far beyond the ecliptic, where the likelihood of being detected by radar was lowest; they came to a near stop millions of miles from the planet and carefully scanned the nearby area of space with their own radar.
No ships seemed to be in space. Earth’s solar system turned out to be a trivial affair, only five planets, scarcely a half-dozen moons among them. None of the planets except Earth itself was anything like inhabitable.
No ships appeared to be in space. Earth's solar system turned out to be pretty simple, just five planets and hardly a handful of moons among them. None of the planets, except for Earth, was remotely habitable.
“Hold tight,” said Ross grimly, “I’m not so good at this fine navigation.” He cautiously applied power along a single vector; the starship leaped and bucked. He corrected with another; and the distant sun swelled in their view plates with frightening rapidity. The alarm beeps bleated furiously, and the automatic cutoff restored all controls to neutral.
“Hang on,” Ross said grimly, “I’m not great at this precise navigation.” He carefully applied power in a single direction; the starship jumped and jolted. He adjusted again, and the distant sun quickly grew larger in their view screens. The alarm beeps blared wildly, and the automatic cutoff returned all controls to neutral.
Ross, sweating, picked himself up from the floor and staggered back to the panel. Helena said carefully, “You’re doing fine, Ross, but if you’d like me to take over for a minute——”
Ross, sweating, got up from the floor and staggered back to the panel. Helena said gently, “You’re doing great, Ross, but if you want me to take over for a minute——”
109Ross swallowed his pride and stood back. After one wide-eyed stare of shock—she wasn’t even calculating!—he gripped the loops and closed his eyes and waited for death.
109Ross swallowed his pride and stepped back. After one shocked, wide-eyed glance—she wasn’t even thinking!—he grabbed the loops, closed his eyes, and braced himself for death.
There was a punishing bump and his eyes flew open. Helena was looking at him apologetically. “You would have done it better,” she lied, “but anyway we’re down.”
There was a hard jolt, and his eyes snapped open. Helena was looking at him with an apologetic expression. “You would have done it better,” she lied, “but anyway, we’re here now.”
Ross lied, “Of course, but I’m glad you had the practice. Where—uh, where are we?”
Ross lied, “Of course, but I’m glad you got some practice. Where—uh, where are we?”
Helena silently showed him the radar plot. Earth, it seemed, had a confusing multiplicity of continents; they were on one in the northern hemisphere, a large one as Earth’s continents went, and smack in the middle of it. It was night on their side of Earth just then; and, by the plot, a largish city was only a dozen or so miles away.
Helena silently showed him the radar plot. Earth, it seemed, had a confusing array of continents; they were on one in the northern hemisphere, a large one compared to Earth's other continents, and right in the middle of it. It was night on their side of Earth at that moment; and, according to the plot, a fairly large city was only about twelve miles away.
“Okay,” said Ross wearily, “landing party away. Helena, you stay here while Bernie and I——”
“Okay,” Ross said tiredly, “landing party is go. Helena, you stay here while Bernie and I——”
Helena said simply, “No.”
Helena simply said, “No.”
Ross stared at her a minute, then shrugged. “All right. Then Bernie will stay while——”
Ross looked at her for a minute, then shrugged. “Okay. Then Bernie will stay while——”
“I will not!” said Bernie.
"I won't!" said Bernie.
Clearly it was time for a showdown. Ross roared: “Who’s the captain here, anyway?”
Clearly, it was time for a confrontation. Ross shouted, "Who’s the captain here, anyway?"
“You are,” Helena said promptly. “As long as I don’t have to stay here alone.”
“You are,” Helena replied quickly. “As long as I don’t have to be here by myself.”
“Yeah,” said Bernie.
“Yeah,” Bernie said.
Ross said, “Oh.” He thought for a while and then said, “Well, let’s all go.” They thought it was a wonderful idea.
Ross said, “Oh.” He thought for a moment and then said, “Well, let’s all go.” They thought it was a great idea.
Earth wasn’t a very unusual planet—lots of green sand and purple vegetation. Either the master star chart was wrong or the gravity meter was off; the former, strangely enough, gave Earth’s gravity as 1.000000 and the latter as 0.8952, a whopping ten per cent discrepancy. Further, the principal inert gas in Earth’s atmosphere was, according to the master chart’s planetary supplement, nitrogen; and according to the ship’s instruments was indubitably neon. A terrific aurora polaris display constantly flickering in the northern sky bore that out.
Earth wasn’t a particularly unusual planet—plenty of green sand and purple plants. Either the master star chart was incorrect or the gravity meter was malfunctioning; the former, oddly enough, listed Earth’s gravity as 1.000000 and the latter as 0.8952, a significant ten percent difference. Moreover, the main inert gas in Earth’s atmosphere was, according to the master chart’s planetary supplement, nitrogen; but according to the ship’s instruments, it was definitely neon. A stunning aurora borealis constantly flickering in the northern sky confirmed that.
But the gap between the chart and the facts didn’t particularly worry Ross as they swung along overland. So the 110chart was off, or perhaps things had changed. This was—according to Flarney via Whitker—the place where people knew about the formula, where his questions would be answered. After this, he thought happily, it’s off to Halsey’s Planet and an unspecified glorious future, revered as the savior of humanity instead of a lousy Yards clerk pushing invoices around. And Helena, he thought sentimentally....
But the difference between the chart and reality didn’t really bother Ross as they traveled overland. So the chart was inaccurate, or maybe things had shifted. This was—according to Flarney through Whitker—the spot where people had knowledge of the formula, where his questions would get answered. After this, he thought joyfully, it’s off to Halsey’s Planet and a bright, undefined future, celebrated as the savior of humanity instead of a miserable Yards clerk processing invoices. And Helena, he recalled fondly....
He turned to smile at her and found she and Bernie were giggling.
He turned to smile at her and saw that she and Bernie were laughing.
“Listen, you two!” Captain Ross roared. “Haven’t you learned anything yet? What’s the good of us exploring if we stroll along with our silly heads in the clouds, not paying attention? Do you realize that this place may be as dangerous as Azor or worse?”
“Listen, you two!” Captain Ross shouted. “Haven’t you learned anything yet? What’s the point of us exploring if we’re just wandering around with our heads in the clouds, not paying attention? Do you understand that this place could be as dangerous as Azor or even worse?”
“Ross——” Helena said.
“Ross—” Helena said.
“Don’t interrupt! What this outfit needs is some discipline—tightening up. You two have got to accept your responsibilities. Keep alert! Be on the lookout! Any single thing out of the ordinary may be a deathtrap. Watch for——”
“Don’t interrupt! What this group needs is some discipline—tightening up. You two have to accept your responsibilities. Stay alert! Be on the lookout! Anything out of the ordinary could be a deathtrap. Watch for——”
Helena was looking not at Ross but over his shoulder. Bernie was making strangled noises and pointing.
Helena wasn't looking at Ross; she was gazing over his shoulder. Bernie was making muffled sounds and pointing.
Ross turned. Behind him stood a mechanical monstrosity vaguely recognizable as a heavily-armed truck, its motor faintly humming. A man leaned darkly from the cab and transfixed them to the ground with a powerful spotlight. From the dazzling circle of light his voice came, hasty and furtive. “Thought it was two women and a man, but I guess you’re the ones. Ugh, those faces on you! Yes, you’re the ones. Get in. Fast.”
Ross turned. Behind him stood a mechanical beast that could vaguely be recognized as a heavily-armed truck, its engine softly humming. A man leaned ominously from the cab, pinning them to the ground with a powerful spotlight. From the glaring circle of light, his voice came, hurried and secretive. “I thought it was two women and a man, but I guess you’re the ones. Ugh, those faces! Yeah, you’re the ones. Get in. Quickly.”
The light blinked out. When their eyes adjusted to the dimmer illumination of the stars and the aurora display they saw a side door in the body of the truck standing open. Too, one of the long, slim gun barrels with which the truck seemed copiously supplied swiveled to cover them.
The light went out. As their eyes got used to the softer glow of the stars and the aurora display, they noticed a side door in the truck was wide open. Also, one of the long, narrow gun barrels, which the truck had plenty of, turned to aim at them.
Ross stupidly read aloud a sign on the truck: “Jones Floor-Cover Company. Finest Tile on Jones. Wall-to-Wall a Specialty. ‘Rugs Fit For a Jones’.”
Ross foolishly read aloud a sign on the truck: “Jones Floor-Cover Company. Best Tile on Jones. Wall-to-Wall a Specialty. ‘Rugs Fit For a Jones’.”
“Yeah,” the man said. “Yeah, yeah. Just don’t try to buy any. Get in, for Jones’ sake! If I’d of known you were half-wits 111I wouldn’t of taken this job for a million Joneses, cash. Get in!” His voice was hysterical and the gun covering them moved ominously. “If this is a frame——” he began to shrill.
“Yeah,” the man said. “Yeah, yeah. Just don’t try to buy any. Get in, for Jones’ sake! If I’d known you were idiots I wouldn’t have taken this job for a million Joneses, cash. Get in!” His voice was frantic and the gun pointing at them shifted threateningly. “If this is a setup——” he started to scream.
“Get in,” Ross said shakily to the others. They climbed in and the door slammed violently and automatically. Helena began to cry in a preoccupied sort of way and Bernie began a long, mumbling inventory of his own mental weaknesses for ever getting involved in this crackbrained, imbecilic, feeble-minded....
“Get in,” Ross said nervously to the others. They climbed in and the door slammed shut, harshly and automatically. Helena started crying in a distracted way, and Bernie began a long, mumbling list of his own mental weaknesses for ever getting involved in this crazy, stupid, foolish...
There were windows in the truck body and Ross turned from one to another. He saw the guns on the cab telescope into stubs, the stubs fold into the mounts, the mounts smoothly descend flush with the sheet metal. He saw the cursing driver manipulate a dozen levers as the car began to glide across the green sand, purple-dotted with vegetation. Finally, through the rear window, he saw three figures racing across the sand waving their arms, rapidly being left behind. All he could make out was that they seemed to be two women and a man.
There were windows in the truck body, and Ross looked from one to the other. He saw the guns on the cab telescope down into stubs, the stubs fold into the mounts, and the mounts smoothly descend flush with the sheet metal. He watched the cursing driver work a dozen levers as the truck began to glide over the green sand, dotted with purple vegetation. Finally, through the rear window, he saw three figures sprinting across the sand, waving their arms, quickly being left behind. All he could tell was that they looked like two women and a man.
Helena was wailing softly, “——and I am not ugly and just because we’re young and we’re strangers isn’t any reason to go around insulting people——”
Helena was softly crying, “——and I am not ugly and just because we’re young and we’re strangers doesn’t give anyone the right to insult people——”
From Bernie: “——fatheaded, goggly-eyed, no-browed, slobber-lipped, dim-witted——”
From Bernie: “——big-headed, goggle-eyed, browless, slobbery-lipped, dim-witted——”
“Shut up,” Ross said softly. “Before I bang both your heads together.”
“Shut up,” Ross said quietly. “Before I knock your heads together.”
They stared.
They were staring.
“Thank you. We’ve got to think. What’s this spot we’re in? What can we do about it? I don’t have any F-T-L contact name for Earth and obviously this fellow picked us up by mistake. I saw two women and a man—remember what he said?—just now trying to catch up with us. He seems to be some kind of criminal. Otherwise why a disguised gun-carrier? Why floor coverings ‘but don’t try to buy any’? And Jones seems to be the name of the local political subdivision, the name of the local deity and the currency. That’s important. It points to a rigid one-man dictatorship—Jones, of course, or possibly his dynasty. What 112course of action should we take? Kick it around. Helena, what do you think?”
“Thanks. We need to think. What’s the situation we’re in? What can we do about it? I don’t have any F-T-L contact info for Earth, and clearly this guy picked us up by mistake. I just saw two women and a man—remember what he said?—trying to catch up with us. He seems to be some sort of criminal. Otherwise, why would he be carrying a concealed weapon? And why the floor coverings ‘but don’t try to buy any’? Plus, Jones appears to be the name of the local political division, the name of the local god, and the currency. That’s significant. It suggests a strict one-man dictatorship—Jones, obviously, or perhaps his dynasty. What should we do next? Let’s brainstorm. Helena, what do you think?”
“He shouldn’t have said we were ugly,” she pouted. “Isn’t that important?”
“He shouldn't have called us ugly,” she pouted. “Isn’t that important?”
“Women!” Ross said grimly. “If you’ll kindly forget the trivial affront to your vanity perhaps we can figure something out.”
“Women!” Ross said grimly. “If you could just forget about your vanity for a moment, maybe we can come up with a solution.”
Helena said stubbornly: “But he shouldn’t. We’re not. What if they just think we are because they all look alike and we don’t look like them?”
Helena said stubbornly: “But he shouldn’t. We’re not. What if they just think we are because they all look alike and we don’t look like them?”
Ross collapsed. After a long pause during which he tried and almost failed to control his temper he said slowly: “Thank you, Helena. You’re wrong, of course, but it was a contribution. You see, you can’t build up such a wild, far-fetched theory from the few facts available.” His voice was beginning to choke with anger. “It isn’t reasonable and it isn’t really any help. In fact it’s the God-damndest stupidest imitation of reasoning I have ever——”
Ross collapsed. After a long pause during which he tried and almost failed to control his temper, he said slowly, “Thank you, Helena. You’re wrong, of course, but it was a contribution. You see, you can’t build such a wild, far-fetched theory from the few facts we have.” His voice was starting to choke with anger. “It isn’t reasonable, and it isn’t really any help. In fact, it’s the dumbest imitation of reasoning I have ever——”
“City,” Bernard croaked, pointing. The jolting ride had become smoother, and gliding past the windows were green tiled buildings and street lights.
“City,” Bernard croaked, pointing. The bumpy ride had smoothed out, and as they glided past the windows, green tiled buildings and street lights came into view.
“Fine,” Ross said bitterly. “We had a few clear minutes to think and now we find they were wasted by the crackpot dissertation of a female and my reasonable attempt to show her the elements of logical thinking.” He put his head in his hands and tried to ignore them, tried to reason it out. But the truck made a couple of sharp turns and jolted to a stop.
“Fine,” Ross said angrily. “We had a few clear minutes to think, and now we find they were wasted by the crazy ramblings of a woman and my reasonable attempt to show her how to think logically.” He put his head in his hands and tried to ignore them, tried to figure it out. But the truck made a couple of sharp turns and jolted to a stop.
The door opened and the voice of their driver said, again from behind a flashlight’s dazzling circle: “Out. Walk ahead of me.”
The door swung open and their driver's voice said again, coming from behind a bright beam of light: “Get out. Walk in front of me.”
They did, into a fair-sized, well-lighted room with eight people in it whom they studied in amazement. Every one of the eight was exactly the same height—six feet. Every one had straight red hair of exactly the same shade, sprouting from an identical hairline. Every one had precisely the same build—gangling but broad-shouldered. Their sixteen eyes were the identical blue under sixteen identical eyebrows. Head to toe, they were duplicates. One of them spoke—in exactly the same voice as the truckdriver’s.
They walked into a decent-sized, well-lit room with eight people inside, whom they stared at in disbelief. Each of the eight stood at the exact same height—six feet tall. Every one of them had straight red hair in the same shade, coming from identical hairlines. They all had the same build—long and gangly, but broad-shouldered. Their sixteen eyes were the exact same blue under sixteen identical eyebrows. From head to toe, they were clones. One of them spoke—with the exact same voice as the truck driver's.
113“So you want to be Joneses, do you?” he said.
113“So you want to be like the Joneses, huh?” he said.
“Absolutely impossible.”
"Totally impossible."
“But we took their money.”
“But we took their cash.”
“Give it back. Reasonable changes, yes, but look at them!”
“Give it back. Some changes are fine, but just look at them!”
“We can’t give it back. Look what we spent already. Anyway, Sam,——” It sounded like “Sam” to Ross. “——anyway, Sam, look at some of the work you’ve done already. You can do it. I doubt if anybody else could, but you can.”
“We can’t give it back. Look at what we’ve already spent. Anyway, Sam—” It sounded like “Sam” to Ross. “—anyway, Sam, look at some of the work you’ve done already. You can do this. I doubt anyone else could, but you can.”
Ross felt his eyes crossing, and gave up the effort of trying to tell which Jones was speaking to which. Even the clothing was nearly identical—purple pantaloons, scarlet jacket, black cummerbund sash, black shoes. Then he noticed that Third-from-the-left Jones—the one who seemed to be named Sam—wore a frilly shirt of white under the scarlet jacket. Only a lacy edge showed at the open collar; but where his was white, the others were all muted pastels of pink and green.
Ross felt his eyes crossing and stopped trying to figure out which Jones was talking to whom. Even their outfits were almost identical—purple pants, a red jacket, a black cummerbund, and black shoes. Then he noticed that the third Jones from the left—who seemed to be named Sam—had a frilly white shirt under his red jacket. Only a lacy edge peeked out from the open collar; but while his shirt was white, the others wore muted pastel shades of pink and green.
Sam said coldly, “I know nobody else can do it. Anybody else! Who else is there?”
Sam said coldly, “I know nobody else can do it. Anyone else! Who else is there?”
A Jones with a frill of chartreuse pursed his lips. “Well,” he said thoughtfully, “there’s Northside Tim Jones——”
A guy named Jones wearing a frilly chartreuse outfit pursed his lips. “Well,” he said thoughtfully, “there’s Northside Tim Jones——”
“Northside Tim Jones,” Sam mimicked. “Eight of his jobs are in the stockade right now! Paraffin, for Jones’s sake—he still uses paraffin to mold a face!”
“Northside Tim Jones,” Sam imitated. “Eight of his jobs are in the stockade right now! Paraffin, for Jones’s sake—he still uses paraffin to mold a face!”
“I know, Sam, but after all, these people need help. If you won’t do it for them, what’s left?”
“I get it, Sam, but these people really need help. If you won't do it for them, what else is there?”
Sam shrugged morosely. “Well——” he said. Then he shook his head, sighed, and came forward to look at the three travelers. With an expression of revulsion he said, “Strip.”
Sam shrugged sadly. “Well——” he said. Then he shook his head, sighed, and stepped forward to look at the three travelers. With a disgusted expression, he said, “Strip.”
Ross hesitated. “Hold it!” he said sharply to Helena, already half out of her coveralls. “Sir, there may have been some mistake. Would you mind explaining just what you propose to do?”
Ross hesitated. “Wait a second!” he said sharply to Helena, who was already half out of her coveralls. “Sir, there might have been a mistake. Could you explain what you plan to do?”
“The usual thing,” Sam said irritably. “Fix your hair, build up your frames, level you off at standard Jones height. The works. Though I must say,” he added bitterly, “I never saw such unpromising specimens in my life. How the Jones 114have you managed to stay out of trouble this long? Whose garrets have you been hiding in?”
“The usual thing,” Sam said, annoyed. “Fix your hair, build up your frames, make sure you’re at the standard Jones height. The whole deal. Although I have to admit,” he added bitterly, “I’ve never seen such unpromising examples in my life. How the Jones 114have you managed to stay out of trouble this long? Where have you been hiding?”
Ross licked his lips. “You mean,” he said, “you want to make us look more like you gentlemen, is that it?”
Ross licked his lips. “You mean,” he said, “you want us to look more like you guys, is that it?”
“I want!” Sam repeated in bafflement. Over his shoulder he roared, “Ben, what kind of creeps are you saddling me with?”
I want!” Sam repeated in confusion. He shouted over his shoulder, “Ben, what kind of weirdos are you putting on my plate?”
Ben, looking worried, said, “Holy Jones, Sam, I don’t get it either. It was a perfectly normal deal. This guy came up to me in Jones’s Joint and made a pitch. He knew the setup all right, and he had the money with him. Six hundred Joneses, cold cash; and it wasn’t funny money, either.” His face clouded. “I did think, though,” he mentioned, “that he said two women and one man. But Paul Jones picked them up right at the rendezvous, so it must’ve been the right ones.”
Ben, looking worried, said, “Holy Jones, Sam, I don’t get it either. It was a perfectly normal deal. This guy came up to me in Jones’s Joint and made a pitch. He knew the setup for sure, and he had the cash with him. Six hundred Joneses, real money; and it wasn’t fake money, either.” His expression darkened. “I did think, though,” he added, “that he mentioned two women and one man. But Paul Jones picked them up right at the meeting spot, so it must’ve been the right ones.”
He glowered suspiciously at Ross and the others. “Come to think of it,” he said, “maybe not. Tell you what, Sam, you just sit tight here for twenty minutes or so.” And he hurried out of the room.
He frowned suspiciously at Ross and the others. “Now that I think about it,” he said, “maybe not. Here’s the deal, Sam, you just stay put here for about twenty minutes.” And he quickly left the room.
One of the other Joneses said curtly, “Sit down.” Ross, Bernie, and Helena found chairs lined up against a wall; they sat. A different Jones rummaged in a stack of papers on a table; he handed something to each of them. “Relax,” he advised. Obediently the three spacefarers opened the magazines he gave them. When they were settled, most of the Joneses, after a whispered conference, went out. The one that was left said, “No talking. If we made a mistake, we’re sorry. Meanwhile, you do what you’re told.”
One of the other Joneses said shortly, “Sit down.” Ross, Bernie, and Helena found some chairs against a wall; they sat. Another Jones went through a pile of papers on a table and handed each of them something. “Relax,” he said. The three space travelers opened the magazines he gave them. Once they were settled, most of the Joneses left after a brief discussion. The one who stayed said, “No talking. If we messed up, we’re sorry. In the meantime, just do what you’re told.”
Ross found that his magazine was called By Jones; it seemed to be a periodical devoted to entertaining news and gossip of sports, fashion, and culture. He stared at an article headed “Be Glad the People’s Police Are Watching YOU!”, but the words made little sense. He tried to think; but somehow he couldn’t find a point at which to grasp the flickering mass of impressions that were circling through his brain. Nothing seemed to make a great deal of sense any more; and Ross suddenly realized that he was very, very tired.
Ross discovered that his magazine was titled By Jones; it appeared to be a publication dedicated to entertaining news and gossip about sports, fashion, and culture. He looked at an article titled “Be Glad the People’s Police Are Watching YOU!”, but the words were confusing. He tried to concentrate, but somehow he couldn’t pinpoint a moment to grasp the swirling mass of thoughts in his mind. Nothing seemed to make much sense anymore; and Ross suddenly realized that he was extremely tired.
His mind an utter blank, he sat and waited.
His mind completely blank, he sat and waited.
115It was twenty minutes and a bit more. Then the door flew open and half a dozen Joneses burst in. Even at first sight, Ross could tell that three of them were newcomers. For one thing, two were women; and the third, though red-haired, tall and gangling, had a nose a full centimeter shorter than any of the others, and his hair was crisply curled.
115It was twenty minutes and a little more. Then the door swung open and about six Joneses rushed in. Even at a glance, Ross could see that three of them were new. For one, two were women; and the third, although red-haired, was tall and awkward, with a nose a whole centimeter shorter than the others, and his hair was neatly curled.
“All right, you Peepeece!” snarled the first Jones. “You found what you were looking for—now try to get out!”
“All right, you Peepeece!” growled the first Jones. “You found what you were looking for—now see if you can get out!”
Helena did the talking. It wasn’t Ross’s idea, but when her heel crunched down on his instep he was too startled to object, and from then on he didn’t get a chance to get a word in edgewise.
Helena did the talking. It wasn’t Ross’s idea, but when her heel stepped hard on his foot, he was too surprised to say anything, and from that point on, he didn’t get a chance to speak at all.
He had to admit that her act was getting across with the audience. Long before she had finished reporting their meeting, their flight to Azor, the escape from “Minerva,” and the flight here, most of the Joneses had put their guns away, and all were showing signs of stupefaction. “——And then,” she finished, “we saw this truck, and that very good-looking man picked us up. And so we’re here on Earth; and, honest to goodness, that’s the exact truth.”
He had to admit that her performance was resonating with the audience. Long before she finished recounting their meeting, their flight to Azor, the escape from “Minerva,” and the journey here, most of the Joneses had put their guns away, and all were looking stunned. “——And then,” she concluded, “we saw this truck, and that really handsome guy gave us a ride. So here we are on Earth; and, truly, that's the exact truth.”
There was silence while the Joneses looked at each other. Then the plastic-surgeon-type Jones, Sam with the white shirt front, stepped forward. “Hold still, my dear,” he ordered. Helena bravely stood rigid while the surgeon raked searchingly through the roots of her hair, peered into her eyes, expertly traced the configuration of her ribs.
There was silence as the Joneses stared at each other. Then the plastic-surgeon type, Sam in the white shirt, stepped forward. “Hold still, my dear,” he commanded. Helena bravely stood still while the surgeon searched through her hair, looked into her eyes, and skillfully traced the shape of her ribs.
He stepped back, shaken. “One thing is for sure,” he told the others, “they’re not Peepeece. Not with those bones. They’d never get in.”
He stepped back, shaken. “One thing’s for sure,” he told the others, “they’re not Peepeece. Not with those bones. They’d never get in.”
Ben Jones beat his forehead and moaned. “How do I get into these things?” he demanded.
Ben Jones hit his forehead and groaned. “How do I keep getting into these situations?” he asked.
One of the female Joneses said shrilly, “We didn’t expect anything like this. We’re honest Jones-fearing Joneses and——”
One of the female Joneses exclaimed, “We didn’t expect anything like this. We’re honest, Jones-fearing Joneses and——”
“Shut up!” Ben Jones roared. “What about the other two, Sam? They all right too?”
“Shut up!” Ben Jones yelled. “What about the other two, Sam? Are they okay too?”
“Oh, for Jones’s sake, Ben,” Sam said disgustedly, “just look at them, will you? Do you think the police would take in a five-inch height deviation like that one——” he pointed 116to Bernie——“or a half-bald scarecrow like that?” Ross, stung, opened his mouth to object; but swiftly closed it again. Nobody was paying much attention to him, anyhow, except as Exhibit A.
“Oh, for Jones’s sake, Ben,” Sam said with disgust, “just look at them, will you? Do you really think the police would take in a five-inch height difference like that one——” he pointed 116to Bernie——“or a half-bald scarecrow like that?” Ross, feeling offended, opened his mouth to argue; but quickly shut it again. Nobody was really paying much attention to him, anyway, except as Exhibit A.
“So what do we do?” Ben demanded.
“So what do we do?” Ben asked.
Sam shrugged. “The first thing we do,” he said wearily, “is to take care of our, uh, clients here. We get them out of the way, and then we decide what to do next.” He looked around at the other Joneses. “If you three will come this way,” he said, “we’ll finish up your job and get you back home. I needn’t remind you, of course, that if you should happen to mention anything you’ve seen here tonight to the Peepeece it would——” His voice was cut off by the closing door before Ross could catch the nature of the threat.
Sam shrugged. “The first thing we do,” he said tiredly, “is take care of our, uh, clients here. We get them sorted out, and then we decide what to do next.” He surveyed the other Joneses. “If you three will come this way,” he said, “we’ll wrap up your job and get you home. I shouldn't have to remind you, of course, that if you mention anything you've seen here tonight to the Peepeece it would——” His voice was interrupted by the closing door before Ross could catch the nature of the threat.
Ben Jones stayed behind, scowling to himself. “You people got any Joneses?” he demanded abruptly.
Ben Jones stayed behind, frowning to himself. “Do you guys have any Joneses?” he asked suddenly.
“You mean money? Not any at all,” Helena said honestly. Ross could have kicked her.
“You mean money? Not a penny,” Helena said frankly. Ross could have kicked her.
Ben Jones growled deep in his throat. “Always it happens to me!” he complained. “I suppose we’re going to have to feed you, too.”
Ben Jones growled from deep in his throat. “It always happens to me!” he complained. “I guess we're going to have to feed you, too.”
“Well,” Helena said diffidently, “we haven’t eaten in a long time——”
"Well," Helena said nervously, "we haven't eaten in a long time——"
Ben Jones swore to his god, whose name was Jones, but he stepped to the door and ordered food. When it came it was surprisingly good; each of the three, with their diverse backgrounds, found it delicious. While they were eating, Ben Jones sat watching them, refreshing himself from time to time with a greenish bubbling liquid out of a jug. He offered some to Ross; who clutched his throat as though he’d swallowed molten steel.
Ben Jones swore to his god, whose name was Jones, but he went to the door and ordered food. When it arrived, it was surprisingly good; each of the three, with their different backgrounds, found it delicious. While they were eating, Ben Jones sat watching them, occasionally refreshing himself with a greenish bubbly drink from a jug. He offered some to Ross, who grabbed his throat as if he’d swallowed molten steel.
Ben Jones guffawed till his eyes ran. “First taste of Jones’s Juice, hey? Kind of gets right down inside, doesn’t it?” He wiped his eyes, then sobered. “I guess you people are all right,” he admitted. “What I’m going to do with you I don’t know. I can’t take you to Earth, and I can’t keep you here, and I can’t throw you out on the street—the Peepeece would have you in the stockade in ten minutes.”
Ben Jones laughed until he cried. “First experience with Jones’s Juice, huh? Really hits home, doesn’t it?” He wiped his eyes and then got serious. “I guess you guys are okay,” he said. “I’m not sure what to do with you. I can’t take you to Earth, I can’t keep you here, and I can’t just throw you out on the street—the Peepeece would have you locked up in no time.”
Ross, startled, said, “Aren’t we on Earth?”
Ross, surprised, said, “Aren’t we on Earth?”
117“Naw,” Ben Jones said disgustedly. “Didn’t you hear me? You’re on Jones, halfway between Jones’s Forks and Jonesgrad. But you came pretty close, at that. Earth’s about fifty miles out the Jones Pike past Jonesgrad, turn right at Jonesboro Minor.”
117“Nope,” Ben Jones said with annoyance. “Didn’t you hear me? You’re on Jones, halfway between Jones’s Forks and Jonesgrad. But you were pretty close. Earth’s about fifty miles down the Jones Pike past Jonesgrad; turn right at Jonesboro Minor.”
Ross said bewilderedly, “The planet Earth is fifty miles along the Pike?”
Ross said, confused, “The planet Earth is fifty miles along the Pike?”
“Not a planet,” Ben Jones said. “It’s an old city, kind of. Nobody lives there any more; the Peepeece don’t permit it. I’ve never been there, but they say it’s kind of, you know, different. Some of the buildings——” he seemed actually to be blushing——“are as much as fifteen, twenty stories high; and the walls aren’t even all green. Excuse me,” he added, looking at Helena.
“Not a planet,” Ben Jones said. “It’s an old city, sort of. Nobody lives there anymore; the Peepeece don’t allow it. I’ve never been there, but they say it’s pretty, you know, different. Some of the buildings——” he actually seemed to be blushing——“are like fifteen, twenty stories high; and the walls aren’t even all green. Excuse me,” he added, looking at Helena.
Sam Jones returned and said to Ben, “It’s all right. All finished. Trivial alterations. Maybe they could have gone along for the rest of their lives on wigs and pads—but we don’t tell them that, do we? And anyway now they won’t worry. Healy Jones, the older man, for instance. Very bright fellow, but it seems he was working as a snathe-handler’s apprentice. Afraid to take the master’s test, afraid to change his line of work—might be noticed and questioned.” He heaved a tremendous sigh and poured himself a tremendous slug of the green fluid. Ben Jones gave Ross a cynical wink and shrug.
Sam Jones came back and told Ben, “It’s all good. All done. Minor adjustments. They could have gone on for the rest of their lives with wigs and pads—but we don’t tell them that, right? And anyway, now they won’t stress about it. Healy Jones, the older guy, for example. Smart guy, but it looks like he was working as an apprentice to a snathe-handler. Too scared to take the master’s test, too scared to switch careers—might get noticed and questioned.” He let out a huge sigh and poured himself a big glass of the green liquid. Ben Jones gave Ross a cynical wink and shrug.
“Look at my hand!” the surgeon exploded. It was shaking. He gulped the Jones Juice and poured himself another. “Nothing physical,” he said. “Neurosis. The subconscious coldly counting up my crimes and coldly imposing and executing sentence. I’m a surgeon, so my hand trembles.” He drank. “Jones is not mocked,” he said broodingly. “Jones is not mocked. Think those three are going to be happy? Think they’re going to be folded in Jones’s bosom just because they’re Joneses externally now? No. Watch them five years, ten years. Maybe they’ll sentence themselves to be hateful, vitriol-tempered lice and wonder why nobody loves them. Maybe they’ll sentence themselves to penal servitude and wonder why everybody pushes them around, why they haven’t the guts to hit back—Jones is 118not mocked,” he told the jug of green liquid, ignoring the others, and drank again.
“Look at my hand!” the surgeon shouted. It was shaking. He gulped the Jones Juice and poured himself another. “Nothing physical,” he said. “Neurosis. The subconscious is coldly adding up my mistakes and coldly enforcing and carrying out punishment. I’m a surgeon, so my hand trembles.” He drank. “Jones is not mocked,” he said thoughtfully. “Jones is not mocked. Do you think those three are going to be happy? Do you think they’ll feel secure in Jones’s embrace just because they look like Joneses now? No. Watch them in five years, ten years. Maybe they’ll end up being hateful, bitter pests and wonder why nobody loves them. Maybe they’ll condemn themselves to a life of servitude and wonder why everyone pushes them around, why they don’t have the courage to stand up for themselves—Jones is 118not mocked,” he told the jug of green liquid, ignoring the others, and drank again.
Ben Jones said softly to them, “Come on,” and led them into an adjoining room furnished with sleeping pads. He said apologetically, “The doctor’s nerves are shot tonight. Trouble is, he’s too Jones-fearing. Me, I can take it or leave it alone.” His laugh had a little too much bravado in it. “There’s a little bit of nonJones in the best of us, I always say—but not to the doctor. And not when he’s hitting the Jones juice.” He shrugged cynically and said, “What the hell? L-sub-T equals L-sub-zero e to the minus T-over-two-N.”
Ben Jones said softly to them, “Come on,” and led them into a nearby room with sleeping pads. He said apologetically, “The doctor’s really stressed tonight. The problem is, he gets too anxious about Jones. I can take it or leave it.” His laugh had a bit too much confidence in it. “There’s a little non-Jones in the best of us, I always say—but not with the doctor. And definitely not when he's on the Jones juice.” He shrugged cynically and said, “What the hell? L-sub-T equals L-sub-zero e to the minus T-over-two-N.”
Ross had him by his shirt frill. “Say that again!”
Ross had him by his shirt collar. “Say that again!”
Ben Jones shoved him away. “What’s the matter with you, boy?”
Ben Jones pushed him away. “What’s wrong with you, kid?”
“I’m sorry. Would you please repeat that formula? What you said?” he hastily amended when the word “formula” obviously failed to register.
“I’m sorry. Could you please repeat that formula? What you said?” he quickly corrected when it was clear that the word “formula” didn’t register.
Ben Jones repeated the formula wonderingly.
Ben Jones said the formula again, full of wonder.
“What does it mean?” Ross demanded. “I’ve been chasing the damned thing across the Galaxy.” He hastily filled Ben Jones in on its previous appearances.
“What does it mean?” Ross asked urgently. “I’ve been chasing that thing all across the Galaxy.” He quickly updated Ben Jones on its earlier sightings.
“Well,” Ben Jones said, “it means what it says, of course. I mean, it’s obvious, isn’t it?” He studied their faces and added uncertainly, “Isn’t it?”
“Well,” Ben Jones said, “it means exactly what it says, obviously. I mean, it’s clear, right?” He looked at their faces and added hesitantly, “Isn’t it?”
“What does it mean to you, Ben?” Ross asked softly.
“What does it mean to you, Ben?” Ross asked gently.
“Why, what it means to anybody, pal. Right’s right, wrong’s wrong, Jones is in his Heaven, conform or else—it means morality, man. What else could it mean?”
“Why, what does it mean to anyone, buddy? Right is right, wrong is wrong, Jones is in his Heaven, conform or else—it’s about morality, man. What else could it mean?”
Ross then proceeded to make an unmannerly nuisance of himself. He grilled their involuntary host mercilessly, shrugging aside all attempted diversions of the talk into what they were going to do with the three visitors. He ignored protestations that Ben was no Jonesologist, Jones knew, and drilled in. By the time Ben Jones exploded, stamped out, and locked them in for the night, he had elicited the following:
Ross then became an annoying nuisance. He relentlessly interrogated their unwilling host, brushing off all efforts to steer the conversation toward what they were going to do with the three visitors. He ignored claims that Ben wasn't an expert on Jones, which Jones knew, and pushed on. By the time Ben Jones blew up, stormed out, and locked them in for the night, he had uncovered the following:
Everybody knew the formula; they were taught it at their mother’s knee. It was recited antiphonally before and after Jones Meetings. Ben knew it was right, of course, and some 119day he was going to get right with Jones and live up to it, but not just yet, because if he didn’t make money in the prosthesis racket somebody else would. The formula was everywhere: on the lintels of public buildings, hanging in classrooms, and on the bedroom walls of the most Jones-fearing old ladies where they could see its comforting message last thing at night and first thing in the morning.
Everyone knew the formula; they learned it from their mothers. It was recited back and forth before and after Jones Meetings. Ben knew it was right, of course, and someday he was going to get aligned with Jones and live by it, but not just yet, because if he didn’t make money in the prosthesis business, someone else would. The formula was everywhere: on the doorframes of public buildings, hanging in classrooms, and on the bedroom walls of the most Jones-fearing old ladies, where they could see its reassuring message last thing at night and first thing in the morning.
From a book? Well yes, he guessed so; sure it was in the Book of Joneses, but who could say whether that was where it started. Most people thought it was just Handed Down. Way back during the war—what war? The War of the Joneses, of course! Anyway, in the war the last of the holdouts against the formula had been destroyed. No, he didn’t know anything about the war. No, not his grandfather’s time or his grandfather’s grandfather’s time. Long ago, that war was. Maybe there were records in the old museum in Earth. The city, of course, not some damn planet he never heard of!
From a book? Yeah, he thought so; it was definitely in the Book of Joneses, but who could say if that’s where it all began. Most people believed it was just passed down. A long time ago during the war—what war? The War of the Joneses, obviously! Anyway, during that war, the last of the people who resisted the formula were wiped out. No, he didn’t know anything about the war. Not about his grandfather’s time or even his great-grandfather’s time. That war was ages ago. Maybe there are records in the old museum on Earth. The city, of course, not some random planet he’d never heard of!
After Ben Jones slammed out and the room darkened Helena and Bernie exchanged comforting words from adjoining sleeping pads, to Ross’s intense displeasure. They fell asleep and at last he fell asleep still churning over the problem.
After Ben Jones stormed out and the room went dark, Helena and Bernie shared comforting words from their nearby sleeping pads, much to Ross’s annoyance. They eventually fell asleep, and finally, he fell asleep too, still troubled by the problem.
When he woke he found that evidently the doctor, Sam Jones, had stumbled in during the night and passed out on the pad next to him. The white frill was stiff and green with dried Jones Juice. Helena and Bernie still slept. He tried the door.
When he woke up, he realized that Dr. Sam Jones had apparently come in during the night and collapsed on the mat next to him. The white frill was hard and stained green with dried Jones Juice. Helena and Bernie were still asleep. He tried the door.
It was locked, but there was a tantalizing hum of voices beyond it. He put his ear to the cold steel. The fruits of his eavesdropping were scanty but alarming.
It was locked, but there was an enticing buzz of voices coming from the other side. He pressed his ear against the cold metal. The little he could gather from eavesdropping was both minimal and concerning.
“——cut ’em down mumble found someplace mumble.”
“——cut them down mumble found somewhere mumble.”
“——mumble never killed yet mumble prosthesis racket.”
“——mumble has never killed anyone yet mumble prosthesis racket.”
“——Jones’s sake, it’s their lives or mumble mumble time to get scared mumble Peepeece are you?”
“——For Jones’s sake, it’s their lives or mumble mumble time to get scared mumble Peepeece are you?”
And then apparently the speakers moved out of range. Ross was cold with sweat, and there was an abnormal hollow in the pit of his stomach that breakfast would never fill.
And then it seemed like the speakers went out of range. Ross was drenched in sweat, and there was an strange emptiness in the pit of his stomach that breakfast would never satisfy.
120He spun around as a Jones voice croaked painfully: “Hear anything good, stranger?”
120He turned around as a raspy voice from Jones asked, “Heard anything interesting, stranger?”
The surgeon, looking very dilapidated, was sitting up and regarding him through bloodshot eyes. “They’re talking about killing us,” he said shortly.
The surgeon, looking pretty worn out, was sitting up and staring at him through bloodshot eyes. “They’re talking about killing us,” he said flatly.
“They are not really intelligent,” Sam Jones said wearily. “They were just bright enough to entangle me to the point where I had to work for them—and to keep me copiously supplied with that green stuff I haven’t the intelligence to use in moderation.”
“They're not really smart,” Sam Jones said wearily. “They were just clever enough to get me to the point where I had to work for them—and to keep me supplied with that green stuff I can’t seem to use in moderation.”
Ross said, “How’d you like to break away from this?”
Ross said, “How would you feel about escaping from this?”
Sam Jones mutely extended his hand. It trembled like a leaf. He said, “For his own inscrutable reason, Jones grants me steadiness of hand during an operation designed to frustrate his grand design. He then overwhelms me with a titanic thirst for oblivion to my shame.”
Sam Jones silently reached out his hand. It shook like a leaf. He said, “For reasons only he understands, Jones gives me steadiness during a procedure meant to thwart his grand plan. Then he hits me with an overwhelming desire to forget my shame.”
“There’s no design,” Ross said. “Or if there is, luckily this planet is a trifling part of it. I have never heard of such arrogant pip-squeakery in my life. You flyspecks in your shabby corner of the Galaxy think your own fouled-up mess is the pattern of universal life. You’re wrong! I’ve seen life elsewhere and I know it isn’t.”
“There’s no design,” Ross said. “Or if there is, thankfully this planet is just a tiny part of it. I’ve never heard such arrogant nonsense in my life. You tiny people in your rundown corner of the Galaxy think your own messed-up situation is the blueprint for universal life. You’re mistaken! I’ve seen life elsewhere and I know it’s not like that.”
The doctor passed his trembling hand over his eyes. “Jones is not mocked,” he croaked. “L-sub-T equals L-sub-zero e to the minus T-over-two-N. You can’t fight that, stranger. You can’t fight that.”
The doctor ran his shaking hand over his eyes. “Jones isn’t to be underestimated,” he rasped. “L-sub-T equals L-sub-zero e to the minus T-over-two-N. You can’t fight that, stranger. You can’t fight that.”
Ross realized he was silently crying behind his covering hand.
Ross realized he was crying quietly behind his hand.
He said, much more gently, “It’s nothing you have to fight. It’s something you have to understand.” He told Sam Jones of his two previous encounters with the formula. The doctor looked up, his eyes full of wonder. Ross said, “How would you like to be free, doctor? Free of your shaking hands, free of your guilt, free of these killers? How would you like to know the truth?”
He said, much more gently, “It’s not something you need to fight. It’s something you need to understand.” He told Sam Jones about his two previous encounters with the formula. The doctor looked up, his eyes filled with wonder. Ross said, “How would you like to be free, doctor? Free from your shaking hands, free from your guilt, free from these killers? How would you like to know the truth?”
The doctor said faintly, “If I dared——”
The doctor said softly, “If I dared——”
Ross pressed, “The museum in Earth city. Get me records, facts, anything about the War of the Joneses. If there’s any meaning to the formula it’ll have to lie in that. It seems there was a battle about its interpretation and we know 121who won. Let’s find out what the other side said. Get me in there.” He was thinking of the disgraceful war of fanaticism that had marred his own planet’s history. The doctor’s weak Jones jaw was firming up, though his eyes were still haunted. “Stall your killer friends, doctor,” Ross urged. “Tell them you can use us for experiments that’ll cut the cost of the operations. That ought to bring them around. And get me the facts!”
Ross insisted, “The museum in Earth City. Get me records, facts, anything about the War of the Joneses. If there’s any significance to the formula, it’s going to be found there. It looks like there was a conflict over its interpretation, and we know who came out on top. Let’s find out what the other side had to say. Get me in there.” He was thinking about the shameful war of fanaticism that had stained his planet's history. The doctor’s weak Jones jaw was firming up, but his eyes still looked troubled. “Delay your killer friends, doctor,” Ross urged. “Tell them you can use us for experiments that will lower the cost of the operations. That should bring them around. And get me the facts!”
“To be free,” the doctor said wistfully. He said after a pause, “I’ll try. But——” And rapped a code series on the steel door.
“To be free,” the doctor said with a sense of longing. After a pause, he added, “I’ll try. But——” Then he tapped a code on the steel door.
..... 11
THE doctor said with weak belligerence, “Who do you think I am? Jones? I had to leave your friends behind. I had enough trouble getting those hoods to let me take you along. After all, I’m not a miracle-worker.”
THE doctor said with weak aggression, “Who do you think I am? Jones? I had to leave your friends behind. I had enough trouble getting those guys to let me take you with me. After all, I’m not a miracle-worker.”
Ross said sullenly, “Okay, okay.” He glowered out of the car window and spat out a tendril of red hair that had come loose from the fringe surrounding his mouth. The trouble with a false beard was that it itched, worse than the real article, worse than any torment Ross had ever known. But at least Ross, externally and at extreme range, was enough of a Jones to pass a casual glance.
Ross said gloomily, “Alright, alright.” He glared out of the car window and spat out a strand of red hair that had come loose from the fringe around his mouth. The problem with a fake beard was that it itched, worse than the real thing, worse than any suffering Ross had ever experienced. But at least Ross, on the outside and from a distance, looked enough like a Jones to pass for a casual observer.
And what would Helena and Bernie be thinking now? He hadn’t had a chance to whisper to them; they’d been just waking when the doctor dragged him out. Ross put that problem out of his mind; there were problems enough right on hand.
And what would Helena and Bernie be thinking now? He hadn’t had a chance to talk to them; they’d only just been waking up when the doctor pulled him away. Ross pushed that thought aside; there were plenty of problems right in front of him.
He cautiously felt his red wig to see if it was on straight. The doctor didn’t seem to look away from his driving, but he said: “Leave it alone. That’s the first thing the Peepeece look for, somebody who obviously isn’t sure if his hair is still on or not. It won’t come off.”
He carefully checked his red wig to see if it was on straight. The doctor didn't seem to take his eyes off the road, but he said, "Just leave it. That's the first thing the Peepeece look for—someone who clearly isn't sure if their hair is still in place. It won't come off."
“Umph,” said Ross. The road was getting worse, it 123seemed; they had passed no houses for several miles now. They rounded a rutted turn, and ahead was a sign.
“Umph,” said Ross. The road was getting worse, it 123seemed; they hadn’t seen any houses for several miles now. They turned a bumpy corner, and up ahead was a sign.
The doctor spat contemptuously out the window and roared past. Ross said, “Hey!”
The doctor spat out the window with disdain and sped off. Ross said, “Hey!”
“Oh, relax,” said the doctor. “That’s just the Cultureniks. Nobody pays any attention to them.”
“Oh, chill out,” said the doctor. “That’s just the Cultureniks. Nobody cares about them.”
Ross swallowed and sat as lightly as possible on the green leather cushion of the car. By the time they had gone a quarter of a mile, he began to feel a little reassured that the doctor knew what he was talking about. Then the doctor swerved sharply to miss a rusted hulk and almost skidded off the road. He swore and manhandled the wheel until they were back on the straightaway.
Ross swallowed hard and settled as gently as he could on the green leather seat of the car. After they had traveled a quarter of a mile, he started to feel a bit more confident that the doctor knew what he was doing. Then the doctor suddenly swerved to avoid a rusted wreck and nearly skidded off the road. He cursed and wrestled with the steering wheel until they were back on track.
White lipped, Ross asked, “What was that?”
White lipped, Ross asked, “What was that?”
“Car,” grunted the doctor. “Hit a mine. Silly fools!”
“Car,” the doctor grunted. “Hit a mine. Stupid idiots!”
Ross squawked, “But you said——”
Ross shouted, “But you said——”
“Shut up,” the doctor ordered tensely. “That was weeks ago; they haven’t had a chance to lay new mines since then.” Pause. “I hope.”
“Shut up,” the doctor said tightly. “That was weeks ago; they haven’t had a chance to lay new mines since then.” Pause. “I hope.”
The car roared on. Ross closed his eyes, limply abandoning himself to what was in store. But if it was bad to see what was going on, the roaring, swerving, jolting race was ten times worse with his eyes closed. He opened them again in time to see another sign flash past, gone before he could read it.
The car sped on. Ross shut his eyes, totally giving in to what lay ahead. But if it was bad to see what was happening, the loud, swerving, jolting ride was ten times worse with his eyes closed. He opened them again just in time to see another sign flash by, disappearing before he could read it.
“What was that?” he demanded.
"What was that?" he asked.
“What’s the difference?” the doctor grunted. “Want to go back?”
“What's the difference?” the doctor muttered. “Do you want to go back?”
“Well, no——” Ross thought for a moment. “Do we have to go this fast, though?”
“Well, no——” Ross thought for a moment. “Do we have to go this fast, though?”
124“If we want to get there. Crossed a Peepeece radar screen ten miles back; they’ll be chasing us by now.”
124 “If we want to make it there, we crossed a Peepeece radar screen ten miles ago; they’re probably already after us.”
“Oh, I see,” Ross said weakly. “Look, Doc, tell me one thing—why do they make this place so hard to get to?”
“Oh, I get it,” Ross said quietly. “Hey, Doc, can you tell me one thing—why do they make this place so difficult to reach?”
“Tabu area,” the doctor said shortly. “Not allowed.”
“Restricted area,” the doctor said curtly. “Not allowed.”
“Why not allowed?”
"Why isn't it allowed?"
“Because it’s not allowed. Don’t want people poking through the old records.”
“Because it’s not allowed. I don’t want people going through the old records.”
“Why not just put the old records in a safe place—or burn the damn things up?”
“Why not just keep the old records somewhere safe—or just burn the damn things?”
“Because they didn’t, that’s why. Shut up! Expect me to tell you why the Peepeece do anything? They don’t know themselves. It isn’t Jonesly to destroy, I guess.”
“Because they didn’t, that's why. Shut up! Do you expect me to explain why the Peepeece do anything? They don’t even know themselves. I guess it’s not like Jonesly to destroy.”
Ross shut up. He leaned against the window, letting the air rush over his head. They were moving through forest, purplish squatty trees with long, rustling leaves. The sky overhead was crisp and cool looking; it was still early morning. Ross exhaled a long breath. Back on Halsey’s Planet he would be getting up about now, rising out of a soft, warm bed, taking his leisurely time about breakfast, climbing into a comfortable car to make his way to the spaceport where he was safe, respected, and at home.... Damn Haarland!
Ross fell silent. He leaned against the window, feeling the air rush over his head. They were passing through a forest filled with short, purplish trees with long, rustling leaves. The sky above was crisp and looked cool; it was still early morning. Ross let out a long breath. Back on Halsey’s Planet, he would be waking up around now, getting out of a soft, warm bed, taking his time with breakfast, and getting into a comfortable car to head to the spaceport where he felt safe, respected, and at home.... Damn Haarland!
At least, Ross thought, some sort of a pattern was beginning to shape up. The planets were going out of communication each for its own reason; but wasn’t there a basic reason-for-the-reasons that was the same in each case? Wasn’t there some overall design—some explanation that covered all the facts, pointed to a way out?
At least, Ross thought, some kind of pattern was starting to form. The planets were losing communication, each for its own reason; but wasn’t there a fundamental reason behind those reasons that was the same for each one? Wasn’t there some overarching plan—some explanation that accounted for all the facts and pointed to a solution?
He sat up straight as they approached a string of little signs. He scanned them worriedly as they rolled past.
He sat up straight as they neared a line of small signs. He nervously glanced at them as they went by.
“Duck!” the doctor yelled, crouching down in the seat and guiding the careening car with one hand. Ross, startled, followed his example, but not before he saw that “THIS” was an automatic, radar-actuated rapid-fire gun mounted a few yards past the last sign. There was a stuttering roar 125from the gun and a splatter of metal against the armored sides of the car. The doctor sat up again as soon as the burst had hit; evidently only one was to be feared. “Yah, yah,” he jeered at the absent builders of the gun. “Lousy fifty-millimeters can’t punch their way through a tin can!”
“Duck!” the doctor shouted, crouching down in the seat and steering the out-of-control car with one hand. Ross, taken aback, followed suit, but not before he noticed that “THIS” was an automatic, radar-guided, rapid-fire gun set up just beyond the last sign. There was a loud stutter from the gun and a shower of metal hitting the armored sides of the car. The doctor sat up again as soon as the burst was over; it seemed like only one shot was a threat. “Yeah, yeah,” he mocked the absent builders of the gun. “Cheap fifty-millimeter rounds can’t even pierce a tin can!”
Ross, gasping, got up just in time to see the last sign in the series:
Ross, out of breath, stood up just in time to see the final sign in the series:
He said wildly, “They can’t even write a poem properly. Did you notice the first and third line rhyme-words?”
He said excitedly, “They can’t even write a poem correctly. Did you notice that the first and third lines have rhyming words?”
Surprisingly, the doctor glanced at him and laughed with a note of respect. He took a hand off the wheel to pat Ross on the shoulder. “You’ll make a Jones yet, my boy,” he promised. “Don’t worry about these things; I told you this place was restricted. This stuff isn’t worth bothering about.”
Surprisingly, the doctor looked over at him and laughed with a hint of respect. He took one hand off the wheel to give Ross a pat on the shoulder. “You’re going to be a Jones yet, my boy,” he assured him. “Don't stress about this stuff; I told you this place is off-limits. This stuff isn’t worth worrying about.”
Ross found that he was able to smile. There was a point, he realized with astonishment, where courage came easily; it was the only thing left. He sat up straighter and breathed the air more deeply. Then it happened.
Ross discovered that he could smile. There was a moment, he realized in surprise, when bravery came naturally; it was the only option left. He sat up taller and took a deeper breath. Then it happened.
They rounded another curve; the doctor slammed on the brakes. Suspended overhead across the road was a single big sign:
They rounded another curve; the doctor slammed on the brakes. Suspended overhead across the road was a single big sign:
The car bucked, slewed around, and skidded. The wheels locked, but not in time to keep it from sliding into the pit, road wide and four feet deep, that was dug in front of them.
The car jolted, skidded sideways, and lost control. The tires locked up, but it wasn't quick enough to stop it from sliding into the deep ditch that had been dug in front of them, which was four feet wide.
Ross heard the axles crack and the tires blow; but the springing of the car was equal to the challenge. He was jarred clear in the air and tumbled to the floor in a heap; but no bones were broken.
Ross heard the axles snap and the tires burst; but the car's suspension handled it well. He was jolted into the air and landed on the floor in a pile; but he didn't break any bones.
Painfully he pushed the door open and crawled out. The doctor limped after and the two of them stood on the edge of the pit, looking at the ruin of their car.
Painfully, he pushed the door open and crawled out. The doctor limped after him, and the two of them stood at the edge of the pit, staring at the wreck of their car.
“That one,” said the doctor, “was worth bothering about.” He motioned Ross to silence and cocked an ear. Was there a distant roaring sound, like another car following on the road they had traveled? Ross wasn’t sure; but the doctor’s expression convinced him. “Peepeece,” he said 126briefly. “From here on it’s on foot. They won’t follow beyond here; but let’s get out of sight. They’ll by-Jones shoot beyond here if they see us!”
“That one,” said the doctor, “was definitely worth our time.” He signaled for Ross to be quiet and listened carefully. Was there a distant roaring noise, like another car trailing behind on the road they’d just taken? Ross wasn’t sure, but the doctor’s expression made him believe it. “Peepeece,” he said briefly. “From here on, we go on foot. They won’t follow us beyond this point, but let’s get out of sight. They’ll definitely shoot beyond here if they see us!” 126
Ross stared unbelievingly. “This is Earth?” he asked.
Ross stared in disbelief. “Is this Earth?” he asked.
The doctor fanned himself and blew. “That’s it,” he said, looking around curiously. “Heard a lot about it, but I’ve never been here before,” he explained. “Funny-looking, isn’t it?” He nudged Ross, indicating a shattered concrete structure beside them on the road. “Notice that toll booth?” he whispered slyly. “Eight sides!”
The doctor fanned himself and blew. “That’s it,” he said, looking around with interest. “I’ve heard a lot about this place, but I’ve never been here before,” he explained. “Looks strange, doesn’t it?” He nudged Ross, pointing to a broken concrete structure next to them on the road. “See that toll booth?” he whispered mischievously. “It’s got eight sides!”
Ross said wearily, “Yes, mighty funny! Look, Doc, why don’t you sort of wander around by yourself for a while? That big thing up ahead is the museum you were talking about, isn’t it?”
Ross said tiredly, “Yeah, really funny! Look, Doc, why don’t you just take a stroll by yourself for a bit? That big building ahead is the museum you mentioned, right?”
The doctor squinted. His eyes were unnaturally bright, and his breathing was fast, but he was making an attempt to seem casual in the presence of these manifold obscenities of design. He licked his lips. “Round pillars,” he marveled. “Why, yes, I think that’s the museum. You go on up there, like you say. I’ll, uh, sort of see what there is to see. Jones, yes!” He staggered off, staring from ribald curbing to scatological wall in an orgy of prurience.
The doctor squinted. His eyes were unusually bright, and he was breathing quickly, but he was trying to act relaxed in front of all these bizarre designs. He licked his lips. “Round pillars,” he said in awe. “Oh, yeah, I think that’s the museum. You go ahead up there, like you said. I’ll, um, check out what's going on. Jones, right!” He stumbled off, gazing from raunchy curbing to crude wall in a frenzy of indecency.
Ross sighed and walked through the deserted, weed-grown streets to the stone building that bore on its cracked lintel the one surviving word, “Earth.” This was all wrong, he was almost certain; Earth had to be a planet, not a city. But still....
Ross sighed and walked through the empty, weed-filled streets to the stone building that had the one remaining word, “Earth,” on its cracked lintel. This felt completely off, he was almost sure; Earth had to be a planet, not a city. But still....
The museum had to have the answers.
The museum had to have the answers.
On its moldering double doors was a large lead seal. He read: “Surplus Information Repository. Access denied to unauthorized personnel.” But the seal had been forced by somebody; one of the doors swung free, creaking.
On its decaying double doors was a large lead seal. It read: “Surplus Information Repository. Access denied to unauthorized personnel.” But the seal had been broken by someone; one of the doors swung open, creaking.
Ross invoked the forcer of the door. If he could do it....
Ross called on the force of the door. If he could do it....
He went in and stumbled over a skeleton, presumably that of the last entrant. The skull had been crushed by a falling beam. There was some sort of mechanism involved—a trigger, a spring, a release hook. All had rusted badly, and the spring had lost its tension over the years. A century? Two? Five? Ross prayed that any similar mantraps had likewise rusted solid, and cautiously inched 127through the dismal hall of the place, ready for a backward leap at the first whisper of a concealed mechanism in action.
He walked in and tripped over a skeleton, probably that of the last person who entered. The skull had been smashed by a falling beam. There was some kind of mechanism involved—a trigger, a spring, a release hook. All of it had rusted badly, and the spring had lost its tension over the years. A century? Two? Five? Ross hoped that any similar traps had also rusted shut, and he cautiously moved forward through the gloomy hallway of the place, prepared to jump back at the first hint of a hidden mechanism activating. 127
It was unnecessary. The place was—dead.
It was pointless. The place was—lifeless.
Exploring room after room, he realized slowly that he was stripping off history in successive layers. The first had been the booby-trapped road, lackadaisically planned to ensure that mere inquisitiveness would be discouraged. There had been no real denial of access, for there was almost no possibility that anybody would care to visit the place.
Exploring room after room, he gradually understood that he was peeling back history in layers. The first layer was the booby-trapped road, carelessly designed to discourage any curiosity. There wasn't a complete denial of access, since it was highly unlikely that anyone would actually want to visit the place.
Next, the seal and the mantraps. An earlier period. Somebody had once said: “This episode is closed. This history is determined. We have all reached agreement. Only a dangerous or frivolous meddler would seek to rake over these dead ashes.”
Next, the seal and the mantraps. An earlier period. Somebody had once said: “This episode is closed. This history is set. We’ve all come to an understanding. Only a reckless or foolish meddler would try to dig up these old ashes.”
And then, prying into the museum, Ross found the era during which agreement had been reached, during which it still was necessary to insist and demonstrate and cajole.
And then, peeking into the museum, Ross discovered the time when an agreement had been made, when it was still necessary to insist, prove, and persuade.
The outer rooms and open shelves were testimonials to Jones. There were books of Jonesology—ingenious, persuasive books divided usually into three sections. Human Jonesology would be a painstaking effort to determine the exact physical and mental tolerances of a Jones. Anatomical atlases minutely gave femur lengths, cranial angles, eye color to an angstrom, hair thickness to a micron. Moral Jonesology treated of the dangers of deviating from these physical and more elastic mental specifications. (Here the formula appeared again, repeatedly invoked but never explained. Already it was a truism.) And Sacred Jonesology was a series of assertions concerning the nature of The Jones in whose image all other Joneses were created.
The outer rooms and open shelves were testaments to Jones. There were books on Jonesology—clever, convincing books usually divided into three sections. Human Jonesology would be a detailed attempt to figure out the exact physical and mental limits of a Jones. Anatomical atlases provided precise measurements of femur lengths, cranial angles, eye color to an angstrom, and hair thickness to a micron. Moral Jonesology discussed the risks of straying from these physical and more flexible mental standards. (Here, the formula appeared again, repeatedly mentioned but never clarified. Already it was a commonly accepted idea.) And Sacred Jonesology was a collection of statements about the nature of The Jones in whose image all other Joneses were created.
Subdivisions of the open shelves held works on Geographical Jonesology (the distribution across the planet of Joneses) and similar works.
Subdivisions of the open shelves contained books on Geographical Jonesology (the distribution of Joneses around the world) and related topics.
Ross went looking for a lower layer of history and found it in a bale of crumbling pamphlets. “Comrades, We Must Now Proceed to Consolidate Our Victory”; “Ultra-Jonesism, An Infantile Political Disorder”; “On The Fallacy of ‘Jonesism In One Country’.” These Ross devoured. They added up to the tale of a savage political battle among the 128victors of a greater war. Clemency was advocated and condemned; extermination of the opposition was casually mentioned; the Cultural Faction and the Biological Faction had obviously been long locked in a death struggle. Across the face of each pamphlet stood a similar logotype: the formula. It was enigmatically mentioned in one pamphlet, which almost incomprehensibly advanced the claims of the Biological faction to supremacy among the Joneses United: “Let us never forget, comrades, that the initiation of the great struggle was not caused by our will or by the will of our sincere and valiant opponents, the Culturists. The inexorable law of nature, LT=LOe-T/2N, was the begetter of that holocaust from which our planet has emerged purified——”
Ross went searching for a deeper layer of history and found it in a pile of crumbling pamphlets. “Comrades, We Must Now Proceed to Consolidate Our Victory”; “Ultra-Jonesism, An Infantile Political Disorder”; “On The Fallacy of ‘Jonesism In One Country.’” Ross devoured these. They told the story of a fierce political struggle among the winners of a bigger war. Clemency was both encouraged and condemned; extermination of the opposition was mentioned casually; the Cultural Faction and the Biological Faction had clearly been in a bitter conflict for a long time. Each pamphlet featured a similar logo: the formula. It was mysteriously referenced in one pamphlet, which almost incomprehensibly pushed the Biological faction's claim to superiority among the Joneses United: “Let us never forget, comrades, that the start of the great struggle was not caused by our will or by the will of our honest and brave opponents, the Culturists. The unyielding law of nature, LT=LOe-T/2N, was the source of that holocaust from which our planet has emerged purified——”
Was it now?
Is it now?
The entrance to a musty, airless wing had once been bricked up. The mortar was crumbling and a few bricks had fallen. Above the arched doorway a sign said Military Archives. On the floor was a fallen metal plaque whose inscription said simply Dead Storage. He kicked the loose bricks down and stepped through.
The entrance to a damp, stuffy wing had once been bricked up. The mortar was crumbling and a few bricks had fallen out. Above the arched doorway, a sign read Military Archives. On the floor lay a fallen metal plaque with the inscription Dead Storage. He kicked the loose bricks aside and stepped through.
That was it. The place was lightless, except for the daylight filtering through the violated archway. Ross hauled maps and orders and period newspapers and military histories and handbooks into the corridor in armfuls and spread them on the floor. It took only minutes for him to realize that he had his answer. He ran into the street and shouted for the doctor.
That was it. The place was dark, except for the daylight coming through the damaged archway. Ross grabbed maps, orders, old newspapers, military histories, and handbooks in armfuls and spread them on the floor in the corridor. It only took him a few minutes to realize he had found his answer. He ran into the street and shouted for the doctor.
Together they pored over the papers, occasionally reading aloud choice bits, wonderingly.
Together they went through the papers, occasionally reading aloud interesting parts with amazement.
The simplest statement of the problem they found was in the paper-backed “Why We Fight” pamphlet issued for the enlisted men of the Provisional North Continent Government Army.
The simplest way they described the problem was in the paperback "Why We Fight" pamphlet released for the enlisted members of the Provisional North Continent Government Army.
“What is a Jones?” the pamphlet asked rhetorically. “A Jones is just a human being, the same as you and I. Dismiss rumors that a Jones is supernatural or unkillable with a laugh when you hear them. They arose because of the extraordinary resemblance of one Jones to another. Putting a bullet through one Jones in a skirmish and seeing another 129one rise up and come at you with a bayonet is a chilling experience; in the confusion of battle it may seem that the dead Jones rose and attacked. But this is not the case. Never let the rumor pass unchallenged, and never fail to report habitual rumor-mongers.
“What is a Jones?” the pamphlet asked. “A Jones is just a person, the same as you and me. Laugh off any rumors that a Jones is supernatural or unkillable when you hear them. They come from the striking similarity between one Jones and another. Shooting one Jones in a skirmish and then seeing another one get up and charge at you with a bayonet is a terrifying experience; in the chaos of battle, it might seem like the dead Jones has risen and is attacking. But that’s not true. Always challenge those rumors, and never hesitate to report habitual rumor-spreaders."
“How did the Joneses get that way? Many of you were too young when this long war began to be aware of the facts. Since then, wartime disruption of education and normal communications facilities has left you in the dark. This is the authoritative statement in simple language that explains why we fight.
“How did the Joneses end up like this? Many of you were too young when this long war started to understand what was happening. Since then, the disruption of education and regular communication during the war has kept you uninformed. This is the clear explanation that outlines why we fight."
“This planet was colonized, presumably from the quasi-legendary planet Earth. (The famous Earth Archives Building, incidentally, is supposed to derive its puzzling name from this fact.) It is presumed that the number of colonists was originally small, probably in the hundreds. Though the number of human beings on the planet increased enormously as the generations passed, genetically the population remained small. The same ones (heredity units) were combined and reshuffled in varying combinations, but no new ones were added. Now, it is a law of genetics that in small populations, variations tend to smooth out and every member of the population tends to become like every other member. So-called unfixed genes are lost as the generations pass; the end product of this process would theoretically be a population in which every member had exactly the same genes as every other member. This is a practical impossibility, but the Joneses whom we fight are a tragic demonstration of the fact that the process need not be pushed to its ultimate extreme to dislocate the life of a planet and cause endless misery to its dwellers.
“This planet was colonized, likely from the somewhat mythical planet Earth. (By the way, the famous Earth Archives Building is thought to get its confusing name from this fact.) It’s assumed that the original number of colonists was small, probably in the hundreds. Although the human population on the planet grew significantly over the generations, genetically, it remained limited. The same genetic units were mixed and matched in different combinations, but no new ones were introduced. Now, according to genetics, small populations tend to lose variations, and every individual tends to become similar to the others. So-called unfixed genes disappear over generations; theoretically, the end result of this process would be a population where every individual had exactly the same genes as every other one. While this is practically impossible, the Joneses we’re up against are a tragic example of how this process doesn’t need to reach its extreme to disrupt the life on a planet and create endless suffering for its inhabitants.
“From our very earliest records there have been Joneses. It is theorized that this gangling redheaded type was well represented aboard the original colonizing ship, but some experts believe one Jones type and the workings of chance would be sufficient to produce the unhappy situation of type-dominance.
“From our very earliest records, there have been Joneses. It’s believed that this tall, redheaded type was well represented on the original colonizing ship, but some experts think that just one type of Jones and the randomness of chance would be enough to create the unfortunate situation of type dominance.
“Some twenty-five years ago Joneses were everywhere among us and not, as now, withdrawn to South Continent and organized into a ruthless aggressor nation. They made 130up about thirty per cent of the population and had become a closely knit organization devoted to mutual help. They held the balance of political power in every election from the municipal to the planetary level and virtually monopolized production and finance. There were fanatics and rabble-rousers among them who readily exploited a rising tide of discontent over a series of curbing laws, finally pushed through by a planetary majority, united at last in self-defense against the rapacity and ruthless self-interest of the Joneses.
“About twenty-five years ago, the Joneses were everywhere among us, unlike now when they are isolated in the South Continent and have formed a ruthless aggressive nation. They made up about thirty percent of the population and became a tightly knit organization focused on helping each other. They held the balance of political power in every election, from local to planetary levels, and nearly controlled production and finance. Among them were fanatics and troublemakers who easily took advantage of growing discontent over a series of restrictive laws that were ultimately passed by a planetary majority, united in self-defense against the greed and ruthless self-interest of the Joneses.”
“The Joneses withdrew en masse to South Continent. Some sincerely wished them well; others scoffed at the secession as a sulky and childish gesture. Only a handful of citizens guessed the terrible truth, and were laughed at for their pains. Five years after their withdrawal the Joneses returned across the Vandemeer Peninsula and the war had begun.
“The Joneses left together for the South Continent. Some genuinely wished them the best; others mocked their decision to leave as a sulky and immature move. Only a few citizens suspected the harsh reality and were ridiculed for their concerns. Five years after they left, the Joneses came back across the Vandemeer Peninsula, and the war had started.”
“A final word. There has been much loose talk among the troops about the slogan of the Joneses, which goes LT=LOe-T/2N. Some uninformed people actually believe it is an invocation which gives the Joneses supernatural power and invulnerability. It is not. It is merely an ancient and well-known formula in genetics which quantitatively describes the loss of unfixed genes from a population. By mouthing this formula, the Joneses are simply expressing in a compact way their ruthless determination that all genes except theirs shall disappear from the planet and the Joneses alone survive. In the formula LT means the number of genes after the lapse of T years, LO means the original number of genes, e means the base of the natural system of logarithms and N means number of generations.”
“A final note. There’s been a lot of casual chatter among the troops about the Joneses' slogan, which is LT=LOe-T/2N. Some misinformed individuals actually think it’s a magic phrase that grants the Joneses supernatural power and invincibility. It’s not. It’s simply an ancient and widely recognized formula in genetics that quantitatively describes the loss of unfixed genes from a population. By reciting this formula, the Joneses are just demonstrating their ruthless determination that all genes except theirs should vanish from the planet, leaving only the Joneses to survive. In the formula, LT represents the number of genes after T years, LO represents the original number of genes, e is the base of the natural logarithms, and N is the number of generations.”
The surgeon said slowly and with wonder: “So that was my God!” He stretched out his hands before him. The fingers were rock-steady.
The surgeon said slowly and in awe: “So that was my God!” He held out his hands in front of him. The fingers were steady as a rock.
Ross left him and paced the corridor uneasily. Fine. Now he knew. Lost genes in genetically small populations. On Halsey’s Planet, some fertility gene, no doubt. On Azor, a male-sex-linked gene that provides men with the backbone required to come out ahead in the incessant war of the genders? Bernie was a gutless character. Here, all too 131many genes determining somatotype. On the planets that had dropped out of communication, who knew? Scientific-thought genes? Sex-drive-determining genes?
Ross left him and paced the hallway restlessly. Fine. Now he got it. Lost genes in genetically small populations. On Halsey’s Planet, some fertility gene, no doubt. On Azor, a male-linked gene that gives men the strength needed to succeed in the ongoing battle between the sexes? Bernie was a cowardly guy. Here, way too many genes influencing body type. On the planets that had gone silent, who knew? Genes for scientific thought? Genes determining sex drive?
One thing was clear: any gene-loss was bad for the survival of a planetary colony. Evolution had——on Earth——worked out in a billion trial-and-error years a working mechanism, man. Man exhibited a vast range of variation, which was why he survived almost any conceivable catastrophe.
One thing was clear: any loss of genes was detrimental to the survival of a planetary colony. Evolution had—on Earth—developed a functional mechanism over a billion years of trial and error: humanity. Humans showed a wide range of variation, which is why they could survive almost any imaginable disaster.
Reduce man to a single type and he is certain to succumb, sooner or later, to the inevitable disaster that his one type cannot cope with.
Reduce a person to just one type and they'll eventually face the unavoidable disaster that their single type can't handle.
The problem, now stated clearly, was bigger than he had dreamed. And now he knew only the problem—not the solution.
The problem, now clearly outlined, was bigger than he had imagined. And now he only understood the problem—not the solution.
Go to Earth.
Visit Earth.
Well, he had tried. There had been no flaw in his calculations, no failure in setting up the Wesley panel. Yet—this was Jones, not Earth; the city was only a city, not the planet that the star charts logged. And the planet, beyond all other considerations, was less like Earth than any conceivable chart error could account for. Gravitation, wrong; atmosphere, wrong; flora and fauna, wrong.
Well, he had tried. There was no mistake in his calculations, no problem with setting up the Wesley panel. Yet—this was Jones, not Earth; the city was just a city, not the planet that the star charts recorded. And the planet, more than anything else, was less like Earth than any possible chart error could explain. Gravity, off; atmosphere, off; plants and animals, off.
So. Eliminate the impossible, and what remains, however unlikely, is true. So there had been a flaw in his calculations. And the way to check that, once and for all, was to get back to the starship.
So, eliminate the impossible, and what’s left, no matter how unlikely, is true. There had been a mistake in his calculations. The way to confirm that, once and for all, was to get back to the starship.
Ross wheeled and went back into the book room. “Doc,” he called, “how do we get out of here?”
Ross turned around and went back into the book room. “Doc,” he called, “how do we get out of here?”
The answer was: on their bellies. They trudged through the forest for hours, skirting the road, hiding whenever a suspicious noise gave warning that someone might be in the vicinity. The Peepeece knew they were in the woods; there was no doubt of that. And as soon as they got past the tabu area, they had to crawl.
The answer was: on their stomachs. They plodded through the forest for hours, avoiding the road, hiding whenever a strange noise hinted that someone might be nearby. The Peepeece knew they were in the woods; there was no doubt about it. And as soon as they got past the restricted area, they had to crawl.
It was well past dark before Ross and the doctor, scratched and aching, got to the tiny hamlet of Jonesie-on-the-Pike. By the light from the one window in the village that gave any signs of life, the doctor took a single horrified look at Ross and shuddered. “You wait here,” he 132ordered. “Hide under a bush or something—your beard rubbed off.”
It was well past dark when Ross and the doctor, scratched and sore, finally reached the small village of Jonesie-on-the-Pike. By the light from the only window in town that showed any signs of life, the doctor took one horrified look at Ross and shuddered. “You stay here,” he ordered. “Hide under a bush or something—your beard is gone.”
Ross watched the doctor rap on the door and be admitted. He couldn’t hear the conversation that followed, but he saw the doctor’s hand go to his pocket, then clasp the hand of the figure in the doorway. That was the language all the galaxy understood, Ross realized; he only hoped that the householder was an honest man—i. e., one who would stay bribed, instead of informing the Peepeece on them. It was beyond doubt that their descriptions had long since been broadcast; the road must have been lined with TV scanners on the way in.
Ross watched the doctor knock on the door and was let in. He couldn't hear the conversation that followed, but he saw the doctor's hand move to his pocket, then shake hands with the person in the doorway. That was the universal language, Ross realized; he just hoped the homeowner was an honest person—meaning someone who would stay bribed instead of tipping off the authorities. There was no doubt their descriptions had been broadcasted long ago; the road must have been filled with surveillance cameras on the way in.
The door opened again, and the doctor walked briskly out. He strode out into the street, walked half a dozen paces down the road, and waited for Ross to catch up with him. “Okay,” the doctor whispered. “They’ll pick us up in half an hour, down the road about a quarter of a mile. Let’s go.”
The door opened again, and the doctor stepped out quickly. He walked down the street, took a few steps, and waited for Ross to join him. “Alright,” the doctor whispered. “They’ll pick us up in half an hour, about a quarter mile down the road. Let’s go.”
“What about the man you were talking to?” Ross asked. “Won’t he turn us in?”
“What about the guy you were talking to?” Ross asked. “Isn't he going to rat us out?”
The doctor chuckled. “I gave him a drink of Jones’s Juice out of my private stock,” he said. “No, he won’t turn anybody in, at least not until he wakes up.”
The doctor laughed. “I gave him a drink of Jones’s Juice from my personal stash,” he said. “No, he won’t snitch on anyone, at least not until he wakes up.”
Ross nodded invisibly in the dark. He had a thought, and suppressed it. But it wouldn’t stay down. Cautiously he let it seep through his subconscious again, and looked it over from every angle.
Ross nodded quietly in the dark. He had a thought and tried to push it away. But it wouldn’t stay down. Carefully, he let it come back to his mind and examined it from every angle.
No, there wasn’t any doubt of it. Things were definitely looking up!
No, there was no doubt about it. Things were definitely looking better!
Ben Jones roared, “Just what the hell do you think you’re doing, Doc?”
Ben Jones shouted, “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Doc?”
The doctor pushed Ross through the doorway and turned to face the other Jones. He asked mildly, “What?”
The doctor pushed Ross through the doorway and turned to face the other Jones. He asked calmly, "What?"
“You heard me!” Ben Jones blustered. “I let you out with this one, and maybe I made a mistake at that. But I by-Jones don’t intend to let you get out of here with all three of them. What are you trying to get away with anyhow?”
“You heard me!” Ben Jones boomed. “I let you walk away with this one, and maybe that was a mistake. But I, by-Jones, don’t plan on letting you leave here with all three of them. What are you trying to pull, anyway?”
The doctor didn’t change his mild expression. He took a short, unhurried step forward. Smack.
The doctor didn’t change his calm expression. He took a short, easy step forward. Smack.
133Ben Jones reeled back from the slap, his mouth open, hand to his face. “Hey!” he squawked.
133Ben Jones flinched from the slap, his mouth agape, hand on his face. “Hey!” he yelled.
The doctor said levelly, “I’m telling you this just one time, Ben. Don’t cross me. You’ve got the guns, but I’ve got these.” He held up his spread hands. “You can shoot me, I won’t deny that. But you can’t make me do your dirty work for you. From now on things go my way—with these three people, with my own life, with the bootleg plastic surgery we do to keep you in armored cars. Or else there won’t be any plastic surgery.”
The doctor said calmly, “I’m only going to say this once, Ben. Don’t mess with me. You’ve got the guns, but I’ve got these.” He held up his open hands. “You can shoot me, I won’t deny that. But you can’t force me to do your dirty work. From now on, things go my way—with these three people, my own life, and the illegal plastic surgery we do to keep you in armored cars. Otherwise, there won’t be any plastic surgery.”
Ben Jones swallowed, and Ross could see the man fighting himself. He said after a moment, “No reason to act sore, Doc. Haven’t we always got along? The only thing is, maybe you don’t realize how dangerous these three——”
Ben Jones swallowed hard, and Ross could see the man struggling with himself. After a moment, he said, “No need to be upset, Doc. Haven’t we always gotten along? The only thing is, maybe you don’t realize how dangerous these three——”
“Shut up,” said the doctor. “Right, boys?”
“Shut up,” said the doctor. “Right, guys?”
The other two Joneses in the room shuffled and looked uncomfortable. One of them said, “Don’t get mad, Ben, but it kind of looks as if he’s right. We and the doc had a little talk before you got here. It figures, you have to admit it. He does the work; we ought to let him have something to say about it.”
The other two Joneses in the room shifted around and seemed uneasy. One of them said, “Don’t get mad, Ben, but it kind of seems like he’s right. We talked with the doc a bit before you got here. It makes sense, you have to admit it. He does the work; we should let him have a say about it.”
The look that Ben Jones gave him was pure poison, but the man stood up to it, and in a minute Ben Jones looked away. “Sure,” he said distantly. “You go right ahead, Doc. We’ll talk this over again later on, when we’ve all had a chance to cool off.”
The look Ben Jones shot him was full of hostility, but the man faced it down, and soon Ben Jones turned away. “Sure,” he said blankly. “Go ahead, Doc. We can discuss this again later when we’ve all had a chance to cool off.”
The doctor nodded coldly and followed Ross out. Helena and Bernie, suitably Jonesified for the occasion, were already in the car; Ross and the doctor jumped in with them, and they drove away. Now that the strain was relaxed a bit the doctor was panting, but there was a grin on his lips. “Son-of-a-Jones,” he said happily, “I’ve been waiting five years for this day!”
The doctor nodded curtly and followed Ross outside. Helena and Bernie, dressed appropriately for the event, were already in the car; Ross and the doctor climbed in with them, and they took off. Now that the tension had eased a bit, the doctor was out of breath, but there was a smile on his face. “Son-of-a-Jones,” he said cheerfully, “I’ve been looking forward to this day for five years!”
Ross asked, “Is it all right? They won’t chase after us?”
Ross asked, “Is it okay? They won't come after us?”
“No, not Ben Jones. He has his own way of handling things. Now if we were stupid enough to go back there, after he had a chance to talk to the others without me around, that would be something different. But we aren’t going back.”
“No, not Ben Jones. He has his own way of doing things. Now if we were foolish enough to go back there after he had a chance to talk to the others without me present, that would be a different story. But we aren’t going back.”
Ross’s eyes widened. “Not even you, Doc?”
Ross’s eyes went wide. “Not even you, Doc?”
134“Especially not me.” The doctor concentrated on his driving. Presently: “If I take you to the rendezvous, can you find your ship from there?” he asked.
134“Especially not me.” The doctor focused on the road. After a moment, he asked, “If I take you to the meeting point, can you locate your ship from there?”
“Sure,” said Ross confidently. “And Doc—welcome to our party.”
“Sure,” Ross said confidently. “And Doc—welcome to our party.”
Space had never looked better.
Space has never looked better.
They hung half a million miles off Jones, and Ross fumbled irritatedly with the Wesley panel while the other three stood around and made helpful suggestions. He set up the integrals for Earth just as he had set them up once before; the plot came out the same. He transferred the computations to the controls and checked it against the record in the log. The same. The ship should have gone straight as a five-dimensional geodesic arrow to the planet Earth.
They were half a million miles from Jones, and Ross impatiently fiddled with the Wesley panel while the other three stood around offering suggestions. He set up the integrals for Earth just like he had done before; the results were the same. He transferred the calculations to the controls and checked them against the log record. Same outcome. The ship should have traveled in a straight line like a five-dimensional geodesic arrow to planet Earth.
Instead, he found by cross-checking the star atlas, it had gone in almost the other direction entirely, to the planet of Jones.
Instead, he discovered by checking the star atlas that it had actually gone almost entirely in the opposite direction, to the planet of Jones.
He threw his pencil across the room and swore. “I don’t get it,” he complained.
He tossed his pencil across the room and cursed. “I don’t understand,” he complained.
“It’s probably broken, Ross,” Helena told him seriously. “You know how machines are. They’re always doing something funny just when you least expect it.”
“It’s probably broken, Ross,” Helena told him seriously. “You know how machines are. They’re always doing something weird just when you least expect it.”
Ross bit down hard on his answer to that. Bernie contributed his morsel, and even Dr. Sam Jones, whose race had lost even the memory of spaceflight, had a suggestion. Ross swore at them all, then took time to swear at the board, at the starship, at Haarland, at Wesley, and most of all at himself.
Ross clenched his jaw over his response to that. Bernie added his two cents, and even Dr. Sam Jones, whose people had forgotten what spaceflight was, had a suggestion. Ross cursed at all of them, then took a moment to curse at the board, the starship, Haarland, Wesley, and most of all, at himself.
Helena turned her back pointedly. She said to Bernie, “The way Ross acts sometimes you’d honestly think he was the only one who’d ever run this thing. Why, my goodness, I know you can’t rely on that silly board! Didn’t I have just exactly the same experience with it myself?”
Helena turned away deliberately. She said to Bernie, "With the way Ross behaves sometimes, you’d think he was the only person who had ever managed this thing. Seriously, I know you can't count on that ridiculous board! Didn't I have exactly the same experience with it myself?"
Ross gritted his teeth and doggedly started all over again with the computations for Earth. Then he did a slow double-take.
Ross clenched his jaw and stubbornly began the calculations for Earth again. Then he did a slow double-take.
“Helena,” he whispered. “What experience did you have?”
“Helena,” he whispered. “What experience did you have?”
135“Why, just the same as now! Don’t you remember, Ross? When you and Bernie were in jail and I had to come rescue you?”
135“Why, just like now! Don’t you remember, Ross? When you and Bernie were in jail and I had to come save you?”
“What happened?” Ross shouted.
“What’s going on?” Ross shouted.
“My goodness, Ross don’t yell at me! There was that silly light flashing all the time. It was driving me out of my mind. Well, I knew perfectly well that I wasn’t going to get anywhere if it was going to act like that, so I just——”
“My goodness, Ross, don’t yell at me! That silly light was flashing all the time. It was driving me out of my mind. Well, I knew perfectly well that I wasn’t going to get anywhere if it was going to act like that, so I just——”
Ross, eyes glazed, robotlike, lifted the cover off the main Wesley unit. Down at the socket of the alarm signal, shorting out two delicately machined helices that were a basic part of the Wesley drive, wedged between an eccentric vernier screw and a curious crystalline lattice, was—the hairpin.
Ross, with glazed eyes and moving like a robot, lifted the cover off the main Wesley unit. Down at the alarm signal socket, shorting out two finely crafted helices that were essential to the Wesley drive, wedged between an odd vernier screw and a strange crystalline lattice, was—the hairpin.
He picked it out and stared at it unbelievingly. He marveled, “It says in the manual, ‘On no account should any alterations be made in any part of the Wesley driving assembly by any technician under a C-Twelve rating.’ She didn’t like the alarm going off. So she fixed it. With a hairpin.”
He took it out and stared at it in disbelief. He amazed, “It says in the manual, ‘Under no circumstances should any changes be made to any part of the Wesley driving assembly by any technician with a C-Twelve rating.’ She didn’t like the alarm going off. So she fixed it. With a hairpin.”
Helena giggled and appealed to Bernie. “Doesn’t he kill you?” she asked.
Helena giggled and turned to Bernie. “Doesn’t he drive you crazy?” she asked.
Ross’s eyes were glazed and his hands worked convulsively. “Kill,” he muttered, advancing on Helena. “Kill, kill, kill——”
Ross's eyes were glazed, and his hands moved uncontrollably. "Kill," he muttered, approaching Helena. "Kill, kill, kill——"
“Help!” she screamed.
“Help!” she shouted.
The two men managed to subdue Ross with the aid of a needle from Dr. Jones’s kit-pocket.
The two men were able to overpower Ross using a needle from Dr. Jones’s kit-pocket.
Helena was in tears and tried to explain to the others: “Just for no reason at all——”
Helena was crying and tried to explain to the others: “Just for no reason at all——”
She got only icy stares. After a while she sulkily began setting up the Wesley board for the Earth jump.
She only received icy glares. After a while, she sulkily started to set up the Wesley board for the Earth jump.
..... 12
ROSS awoke, clearheaded and alert. Helena and Bernie were looking at him apprehensively.
ROSS woke up feeling clearheaded and alert. Helena and Bernie were looking at him with concern.
He understood and said grudgingly, “Sorry I flipped. I didn’t mean to scare you. Everything seemed to go black——”
He realized and said reluctantly, “Sorry I lost it. I didn’t mean to freak you out. Everything just felt like it went black——”
They smothered him with relieved protestations that they understood perfectly and Helena wouldn’t stick hairpins into the Wesley Drive ever again. Even if the ship hadn’t blown up. Even if she had rescued the men from “Minerva.”
They overwhelmed him with relieved assurances that they completely understood and that Helena wouldn’t stick hairpins into the Wesley Drive ever again. Even if the ship hadn’t exploded. Even if she had saved the men from “Minerva.”
“Anyway,” she said happily, “we’re off Earth. At least, it’s supposed to be Earth, according to the charts.”
“Anyway,” she said happily, “we’re leaving Earth. At least, it’s supposed to be Earth, according to the charts.”
He unkinked himself and studied the planet through a vision screen at its highest magnification. The apparent distance was one mile; nothing was hidden from him.
He stretched out and looked at the planet through a vision screen at its maximum zoom. The apparent distance was one mile; nothing was concealed from him.
“Golly,” he said, impressed. “Science! Makes you realize what backward gropers we were.”
“Wow,” he said, amazed. “Science! It really makes you see how clueless we used to be.”
Obviously they had it, down there on the pleasant, cloud-flecked, green and blue planet. Science! White, towering cities whose spires were laced by flying bridges—and inexplicably decorated with something that looked like cooling fins. Huge superstreamlined vehicles lazily coursing the roads and skies. Long, linked-pontoon cities slowly heaving on the breasts of the oceans. Science!
Obviously they had it down there on the nice, cloud-dotted, green and blue planet. Science! White, towering cities with spires connected by flying bridges—strangely decorated with something that looked like cooling fins. Huge, super-streamlined vehicles gliding along the roads and skies. Long, linked-pontoon cities gently floating on the surface of the oceans. Science!
137Ross said reverently, “We’re here. Flarney was right. Helena, Bernie, Doc—maybe this is the parent planet of us all and maybe it isn’t. But the people who built those cities must know all the answers. Helena, will you please land us?”
137Ross said with respect, “We’re here. Flarney was right. Helena, Bernie, Doc—maybe this is the home planet for all of us, and maybe it’s not. But the people who built those cities must know all the answers. Helena, can you please land us?”
“Sure, Ross. Shall I look for a spaceport?”
“Sure, Ross. Should I look for a spaceport?”
Ross frowned. “Of course. Do you think these people are savages? We’ll go in openly and take our problem to them. Besides, imagine the radar setup they must have! We’d never sneak through even if we wanted to.”
Ross frowned. “Of course. Do you think these people are savages? We’ll go in openly and talk to them about our problem. Plus, just think about the radar setup they must have! We’d never be able to sneak through even if we wanted to.”
Helena casually fingered the controls; there was the sickening swoop characteristic of her ship-handling, several times repeated. As she jerked them wildly across the planet’s orbit she explained over her shoulder, “I had the darnedest time finding a really big spaceport on that little radar thing—oops!—but there’s a nice-looking one near that coastal city. Whee! That was close! There was one—sorry, Ross—on a big lake inland, but I didn’t like——Now everybody be very quiet. This is the hard part and I have to concentrate.”
Helena casually played with the controls; there was the nauseating swoop that came with her ship-handling, repeated several times. As she jerked them erratically across the planet’s orbit, she explained over her shoulder, “I had the hardest time finding a really big spaceport on that little radar thing—oops!—but there’s a nice one near that coastal city. Whee! That was close! There was one—sorry, Ross—on a big lake inland, but I didn’t like——Now everyone be very quiet. This is the tricky part and I need to focus.”
Ross hung on.
Ross held on.
Helena landed the ship with her usual timber-shivering crash. “Now,” she said briskly, “we’d better allow a little time for it to cool down. This is nice, isn’t it?”
Helena brought the ship in with her usual jarring thud. “Okay,” she said quickly, “let’s give it some time to cool off. This is nice, right?”
Ross dragged himself, bruised, from the floor. He had to agree. It was nice. The landing field, rimmed by gracious, light buildings (with the cooling fins), was dotted with great, silvery ships. They didn’t, Ross thought with a twinge of irritation, seem to be space vessels, though; leave it to Helena to get them down at some local airport! Still—the ships also, he noticed, were liberally studded with the fins. He peered at them with puzzlement and a rising sense of excitement. Certainly they had a function, and that function could only be some sort of energy receptor. Could it be—dared he imagine that it was the long-dreamed-of cosmic energy tap? What a bonus that would be to bring back with him! And what other marvels might this polished technology have to give them....
Ross pulled himself up from the floor, feeling sore. He had to admit it was impressive. The landing area, surrounded by elegant, light buildings (with the cooling fins), was filled with large, shiny ships. They didn’t, Ross thought with a hint of annoyance, look like space vessels, though; typical of Helena to land them at some local airport! Still—the ships also, he noticed, were generously covered in fins. He looked at them with confusion and growing excitement. They must have a purpose, and that purpose could only be some kind of energy receptor. Could it be—could he dare to hope it was the long-awaited cosmic energy source? What an incredible find that would be to bring back with him! And what other amazing things might this advanced technology offer them....
Bernie distracted him. He said, “Hey, Ross. Here comes somebody.”
Bernie distracted him. He said, “Hey, Ross. Someone's coming.”
138But even Bernie’s tone was awed. A magnificent vehicle was crawling toward them across the field. It was long, low, bullet-shaped—and with cooling fins. Multiple plates of silvery metal contrasted with a glossy black finish. All about its periphery was a lacy pattern of intricate crumples and crinkles of metal, as though its skirts had been crushed and rumpled. Ross sighed and marveled: What a production problem these people had solved, stamping those forms out between dies.
138But even Bernie’s tone was filled with awe. A stunning vehicle was creeping toward them across the field. It was long, low, bullet-shaped—and had cooling fins. Various plates of silvery metal stood out against a sleek black finish. Surrounding its edges was a delicate pattern of complex folds and creases in the metal, as if its skirts had been crushed and rumpled. Ross sighed and admired: What a manufacturing issue these people had solved, stamping those shapes out between dies.
Then he saw the faces of the passengers.
Then he saw the passengers' faces.
He drew in his breath sharply. Godlike. Two men whose brows were cliffs of alabaster, whose chins were strong with the firmness of steady, flamelike wisdom. Two women whose calm, lovely features made the heart within him melt and course.
He inhaled sharply. Godlike. Two men with brows like white cliffs, their chins strong with the steady, fiery wisdom of experience. Two women with calm, beautiful faces that made his heart swell and race.
The vehicle stopped ten yards from the open spacelock of the ship. From its tip gushed upward a ten-foot fountain of sparks that flashed the gamut of the rainbow. Simultaneously one of the godlike passengers touched the wheel, and there was a sweet, piercing, imperative summons like a hundred strings and brasses in unison.
The vehicle stopped ten yards from the open airlock of the ship. From its front erupted a ten-foot fountain of sparks that shimmered in all the colors of the rainbow. At the same time, one of the godlike passengers touched the wheel, and there was a sweet, sharp, commanding call like a hundred strings and brass instruments playing together.
Helena whispered, “They want us to come out. Ross—Ross—I can’t face them!” She buried her face in her hands.
Helena whispered, “They want us to come out. Ross—Ross—I can’t face them!” She buried her face in her hands.
“Steady,” he said gravely. “They’re only human.”
“Calm down,” he said seriously. “They’re just human.”
Ross gripped that belief tightly; he hardly dared permit himself to think, even for a second, that perhaps these people were no longer merely human. Hoarsely he said, “We need their help. Maybe we should send Doc Jones out first. He’s the oldest of us, and he’s the only one you could call a scientist; he can talk to them. Where is he?”
Ross held on to that belief tightly; he could hardly let himself think, even for a moment, that maybe these people were no longer just human. He said hoarsely, “We need their help. Maybe we should send Doc Jones out first. He’s the oldest among us, and he’s the only one you could really call a scientist; he can communicate with them. Where is he?”
A raucous Jones voice bellowed through the domed control room: “Who wansh ol’ doc, hargh? Who wansh goo’ ol’ doc?”
A loud Jones voice shouted through the domed control room: “Who wants old doc, huh? Who wants good old doc?”
Good old doc staggered into the room, obviously loaded to the gills by a very enjoyable backslide. He began to sing:
Good old doc staggered into the room, obviously loaded to the gills by a very enjoyable backslide. He began to sing:
“In A. J. seven thirty-two a Jones from Jones’s Valley, He wandered into Jones’s Town to hold a Jonesist Rally. He shocked the gents and ladies both; his 139talk was most disturbing; He spoke of seven-sided doors and purple-colored curbing——”
“In A. J. seven thirty-two a Jones from Jones’s Valley, He wandered into Jones’s Town to hold a Jonesist Rally. He shocked both the guys and the gals; his 139talk was really unsettling; he talked about seven-sided doors and purple curbing——”
Jones’s eyes focused on Helena. He flushed. “’m deeply sorry,” he mumbled. “Unf’rgivable vulgararrity. Mom’ntarily f’rgot ladies were present.”
Jones’s eyes locked onto Helena. He blushed. “I’m really sorry,” he mumbled. “Unforgivable rudeness. I momentarily forgot that ladies were here.”
Again that sweet summons sounded.
Again that sweet call sounded.
“Pull yourself together, doctor,” Ross begged. “This is Earth. The people seem—very advanced. Don’t disgrace us. Please!”
“Get a grip, doctor,” Ross pleaded. “This is Earth. The people seem—very advanced. Don’t embarrass us. Please!”
Jones’s face went pale and perspiration broke out. “’Scuse me,” he mumbled, and staggered out again.
Jones’s face went white and he started sweating. “Excuse me,” he mumbled, and stumbled out again.
Ross closed the door on him and said, “We’ll leave him. He’ll be all right; nothing’s going to happen here.” He took a deep breath. “We’ll all go out,” he said.
Ross closed the door behind him and said, “Let’s leave him. He’ll be fine; nothing’s going to happen here.” He took a deep breath. “We’ll all head out,” he said.
Unconsciously Ross and Helena drew closer together and joined hands. They walked together down the unfolding ramp and approached the vehicle.
Unknowingly, Ross and Helena moved closer and held hands. They walked down the ramp together and headed toward the vehicle.
One of the coolly lovely women scrutinized them and turned to the man beside her. She remarked melodiously, “Yuhsehtheybebems!”, and laughed a silvery tinkle.
One of the elegantly beautiful women looked them over and turned to the man next to her. She said in a melodic voice, “Yuhsehtheybebems!”, and laughed with a light, silvery sound.
Panic gripped Ross for a long moment. A thing he had never considered, but a thing which he should have realized would be inevitable. Of course! These folk—older and incomparably more advanced than the rest of the peoples in the universe—would have evolved out of the common language into a speech of their own, deliberately or naturally rebuilt to handle the speed, subtlety, and power of their thoughts.
Panic seized Ross for a moment. It was something he had never thought of, yet it was something he should have known was bound to happen. Of course! These people—older and far more advanced than everyone else in the universe—must have developed their own language, either intentionally or naturally, redesigned to express the speed, nuance, and intensity of their thoughts.
But perhaps the older speech was merely disused and not lost.
But maybe the older language was just out of use and not really lost.
He said formally, quaking: “People of Earth, we are strangers from another star. We throw ourselves on your mercy and ask for your generosity. Our problem is summed up in the genetic law L-sub-T equals L-sub-zero e to the minus T-over-two-N. Of course——”
He said formally, shaking: “People of Earth, we are strangers from another star. We appeal to your mercy and ask for your kindness. Our issue can be summarized by the genetic law L-T = L-zero e to the minus T over two N. Of course——”
One of the men was laughing. Ross broke off.
One of the guys was laughing. Ross stopped.
The man smiled: “Wha’s that again?”
The man smiled, “What was that again?”
They understood! He repeated the formula, slowly, and would have explained further, but the man cut him off.
They got it! He went over the formula again, slowly, and would have explained more, but the man interrupted him.
“Math,” the man smiled. “We don’ use that stuff no 140more. I got a lab assistant, maybe he uses it sometimes.”
“Math,” the man smiled. “We don’t use that stuff anymore. I have a lab assistant; maybe he uses it sometimes.”
They were beyond mathematics! They had broken through into some mode of symbolic reasoning that must be as far beyond mathematics as math was beyond primitive languages!
They were beyond math! They had entered a level of symbolic reasoning that was as far beyond math as math was beyond basic languages!
“Sir,” he said eagerly, “you must be a scientist. May I ask you to——”
“Sir,” he said eagerly, “you must be a scientist. Can I ask you to——”
“Get in,” he smiled. Gigantic doors unfolded from the vehicle. Thought-reading? Had the problem been snatched from his brain even before he stated it? Mutely he gestured at Helena and Bernie. Jones would be all right where he was for several hours if Ross was any judge of blackouts. And you don’t quibble with demigods.
“Get in,” he smiled. Huge doors opened from the vehicle. Mind-reading? Had the issue been taken from his mind even before he voiced it? Silently, he signaled to Helena and Bernie. Jones would be fine where he was for several hours if Ross was any judge of blackouts. And you don’t argue with demigods.
The man, the scientist, did something to a glittering control panel that was, literally, more complex than the Wesley board back on the starship. Noise filled the vehicle—noise that Ross identified as music for a moment. It was a starkly simple music whose skeleton was three thumps and a crash, three thumps and a crash. Then followed an antiphonal chant—a clear tenor demanding in a monotone: “Is this your car?” and a tremendous chorally-shouted: “NO!”
The guy, the scientist, did something to a shiny control panel that was, literally, more complicated than the Wesley board back on the starship. Noise filled the vehicle—noise that Ross recognized as music for a moment. It was a strikingly simple tune with a basic structure of three thumps and a crash, three thumps and a crash. Then came a back-and-forth chant—a clear tenor asking in a monotone: “Is this your car?” followed by a loud, choral shout: “NO!”
Too deep for him, Ross thought forlornly as the car swerved around and sped off. His eyes wandered over the control board and fixed on the largest of its dials, where a needle crawled around from a large forty to a large fifty and a red sixty, proportional to the velocity of the vehicle. Unable to concentrate because of the puzzling music, unable to converse, he wondered what the units of time and space were that gave readings of fifty and sixty for their very low rate of speed—hardly more than a brisk walk, when you noticed the slow passage of objects outside. But there seemed to be a whistle of wind that suggested high speed—perhaps an effect peculiar to the cooling-fin power system, however it worked. He tried to shout a question at the driver, but it didn’t get through. The driver smiled, patted his arm and returned to his driving.
Too deep for him, Ross thought sadly as the car swerved around and took off. His eyes wandered over the control panel and fixed on the largest dial, where a needle crawled from a big forty to a big fifty and a red sixty, indicating the vehicle's speed. Unable to focus because of the confusing music, unable to talk, he wondered what time and space measurements were showing fifty and sixty for such a slow speed—barely more than a brisk walk, especially when he noticed the slow movement of objects outside. But there was a whistling sound that suggested high speed—maybe an effect unique to the cooling-fin power system, whatever that was. He tried to shout a question at the driver, but it didn’t get through. The driver smiled, patted his arm, and went back to driving.
They nosed past a building—cooling fins—and Ross almost screamed when he saw what was on the other side: a curve of highway jammed solid with vehicles that 141were traveling at blinding speed. And the driver wasn’t stopping.
They pushed past a building—cooling fins—and Ross nearly yelled when he saw what was on the other side: a curve of highway packed with cars that were zooming by at insane speeds. And the driver wasn’t slowing down.
Ross closed his eyes and jammed his feet against the floorboards waiting for the crash which, somehow, didn’t come. When he opened his eyes they were in the traffic and the needle on the speedometer quivered at 275. He blew a great breath and thought admiringly: reflexes to match their superb intellects, of course. There couldn’t have been a crash.
Ross closed his eyes and pressed his feet against the floorboards, waiting for the crash that somehow never happened. When he opened his eyes, they were in traffic, and the speedometer needle wavered at 275. He let out a deep breath and thought admiringly: reflexes that matched their brilliant minds, of course. There couldn’t have been a crash.
Just then, across the safety island in the opposing lane, there was a crash.
Just then, over on the safety island in the other lane, there was a crash.
The very brief flash of vision Ross was allowed told him, incredibly, that a vehicle had attempted to enter the lane going the wrong way, with the consequences you’d expect. He watched, goggle-eyed, as the effects of the crash rippled down the line of oncoming traffic. The squeal of brakes and rending of metal was audible even above the thumping music: “Is this your car?” “NO!”
The quick glimpse Ross got showed him, shockingly, that a vehicle had tried to enter the lane the wrong way, leading to the expected fallout. He stared wide-eyed as the impact of the crash spread through the line of oncoming cars. He could hear the screeching brakes and the tearing of metal even over the loud music: “Is this your car?” “NO!”
Thereafter, as they drove, the opposing lane was motionless, but not silent. The piercing blasts of strings and trumpets rose to the heavens from each vehicle, as did the brilliant pyrotechnic jets. A call for help, Ross theorized. The music was beginning to make his head ache. It had been going on for at least ten minutes. Suddenly, blessedly, it changed. There was a great fanfare of trombones in major thirds that seemed to go on forever, but didn’t quite. At the end of forever, the same tenor chanted: “You got a Roadmeister?” and the chorus roared: “YES!”
Thereafter, as they drove, the other lane was still, but not quiet. The sharp sounds of strings and trumpets soared into the sky from each vehicle, along with dazzling fireworks. A call for help, Ross thought. The music was starting to give him a headache. It had been playing for at least ten minutes. Suddenly, thankfully, it changed. There was a huge fanfare of trombones in major thirds that seemed to last forever, but didn’t quite. At the end of eternity, the same tenor sang: “Do you have a Roadmeister?” and the chorus shouted: “YES!”
Ross realized forlornly that the music must contain values and subtleties which his coarser senses and undeveloped esthetic background could not grasp. But he wished it would stop. It was making him miss all the scenery. After perhaps the fifteenth repetition of the Roadmeister motif, it ended; the driver, with a look of deep satisfaction, did something to the control board that turned off a subsequent voice before it could get out more than a syllable.
Ross sadly realized that the music had values and nuances that his rough senses and limited artistic background couldn't fully understand. But he wished it would stop. It was making him overlook all the scenery. After what felt like the fifteenth repetition of the Roadmeister motif, it finally stopped; the driver, looking deeply satisfied, did something to the control panel that cut off a subsequent voice before it could even get out more than a syllable.
He turned to Ross and yelled above the suddenly-noticeable rush of air, “Talk-talk-talk,” and gave a whimsical shrug.
He turned to Ross and shouted over the suddenly noticeable rush of air, “Talk-talk-talk,” and gave a playful shrug.
142During the moment his attention wandered from the road, his vehicle rammed the one ahead, decelerated sharply and was rammed by the one behind, accelerated and rammed the one ahead again and then fell back into place.
142At the moment his focus drifted from the road, his car crashed into the one in front, slowed down quickly, was hit from behind, sped up, crashed into the one ahead again, and then returned to its original position.
Ross suddenly realized that he knew what had caused those crumples and crinkles around the periphery of the car.
Ross suddenly realized he knew what had caused those bumps and wrinkles around the edges of the car.
“Subtle,” the driver yelled. “Indirection. Sneak it in.”
“Subtle,” the driver shouted. “Be indirect. Slip it in.”
“What?” Ross screamed.
“What?!” Ross screamed.
“The commersh,” the driver yelled.
“The commerce,” the driver yelled.
It meant nothing to Ross, and he felt miserable because it meant nothing. He studied the roadside unhappily and almost beamed when he saw a sign coming up. Not advertising, of course, he thought. Perhaps some austere reminder of a whole man’s duty to the race and himself, some noble phrase that summed up the wisdom of a great thinker....
It meant nothing to Ross, and he felt miserable because it meant nothing. He looked at the roadside unhappily and almost smiled when he saw a sign ahead. Not an advertisement, of course, he thought. Maybe some serious reminder of a man's responsibility to the community and himself, some noble phrase that captured the wisdom of a great thinker...
But the sign—and it had cooling fins—declared:
But the sign—and it had cooling fins—said:
And the next one urged:
And the next one encouraged:
It said it on four signs which, apparently alerted by radar, zinged in succession along a roadside track even with the vehicle.
It was displayed on four signs that, apparently triggered by radar, flashed in order along a roadside path right next to the vehicle.
There were more. And worse. They were coming to a city.
There were more. And they were worse. They were headed to a city.
Turmoil and magnificence! White pylons, natty belts of green, lacy bridges, the roaring traffic, nimble-skipping pedestrians waving at the cars and calling—greetings? It sounded like “Suvvabih! Suvvabih! Bassa-bassa!” The shops were packed and radiant, dazzling. Ross wondered fleetingly how one parked here, and then found out. A car pulled from the curb and a hundred cars converged on the spot, shrilling their sweet message and spouting their gay sparkles. Theirs too! There were a pair of jolting crashes 143as it shouldered two other vehicles aside and parked, two wheels over the curb and on the sidewalk.
Turmoil and magnificence! White columns, neat bands of green, intricate bridges, the loud traffic, quick pedestrians waving at the cars and calling—greetings? It sounded like “Suvvabih! Suvvabih! Bassa-bassa!” The shops were crowded and bright, dazzling. Ross briefly wondered how one parked here and then figured it out. A car pulled away from the curb, and a hundred cars rushed to fill the spot, blaring their cheerful horns and flashing their colorful lights. Their turn too! There were a couple of loud crashes as it pushed two other vehicles out of the way and parked, two wheels on the curb and on the sidewalk. 143
“Suvvabih-bassa!” shouted drivers, and the man beside Ross gaily repeated the cry. The vehicle’s doors opened and they climbed out into the quick tempo of the street.
“Suvvabih-bassa!” shouted the drivers, and the man next to Ross cheerfully echoed the call. The vehicle’s doors opened, and they stepped out into the fast pace of the street.
It was loud with a melodious babble from speaker horns visible everywhere. The driver yelled cheerfully at Ross: “C’mon. Party.” He followed, dazed and baffled, assailed by sudden doubts and contradictions.
It was noisy with a cheerful mix of sounds from speaker horns visible all around. The driver shouted happily at Ross: “Come on. Party.” He followed, confused and bewildered, overwhelmed by sudden doubts and contradictions.
It was a party, all right—twenty floors up a shimmering building in a large, handsome room whose principal decorative motif seemed to be cooling fins.
It was definitely a party—twenty floors up in a shiny building, in a spacious, stylish room where the main decor seemed to be cooling fins.
Perhaps twenty couples were assembled; they turned and applauded as they made their appearance.
Perhaps twenty couples had gathered; they turned and clapped as they made their entrance.
The vehicle driver, standing grandly at the head of a short flight of stairs leading to the room, proclaimed: “I got these rocket flyers like on the piece of paper you guys read me. Right off the field. Twenny points. How about that?”
The driver, standing proudly at the top of a short set of stairs leading to the room, announced, “I got these rocket flyers just like the ones on the paper you all read to me. Straight off the field. Twenty points. What do you think?”
A tall, graying man with a noble profile hurried up and beamed: “Good show, Joe. I knew we could count on you to try for the high-point combo. You was always a real sport. You got the fish?”
A tall, graying man with a noble profile rushed over and smiled brightly: “Great job, Joe. I knew we could rely on you to go for the high-point combo. You’ve always been a real sport. Did you catch the fish?”
“Sure we got the fish.” Joe turned and said to one of the lovely ladies, “Elna, show him the fish.”
“Of course we got the fish.” Joe turned to one of the lovely ladies and said, “Elna, show him the fish.”
She unwrapped a ten-pound swordfish and proudly held it up while Ross, Bernie, and Helena stared wildly.
She took the wrapping off a ten-pound swordfish and proudly held it up while Ross, Bernie, and Helena stared in shock.
The profile took the fish and poked it. “Real enough, Joe. You done great. Now if the rocket flyers here are okay you’re okay. Then you got twenny points and the prize.
The profile took the fish and poked it. “Looks real enough, Joe. You did great. Now, if the rocket flyers here are good, you’re good. Then you’ve got twenty points and the prize.
“You’re a rocket flyer, ain’t you, Buster?”
“You’re a rocket pilot, right, Buster?”
Ross realized he was being addressed. He croaked: “Men of Earth, we come from a far-distant star in search of——”
Ross realized someone was talking to him. He spoke hoarsely: “People of Earth, we come from a distant star in search of——”
The profile said, “Just a minute, Buster. Just a minute. You ain’t from Earth?”
The profile said, “Wait a second, Buster. Wait a second. You’re not from Earth?”
“We come from a far-distant star in search of——”
“We come from a distant star in search of——”
“Stick to the point, Buster. You ain’t a rocket flyer from Earth? None of you?”
“Get to the point, Buster. You're not a rocket pilot from Earth? None of you?”
144“No,” Ross said. He furtively pinched himself. It hurt. Therefore he must be awake. Or crazy.
144“No,” Ross said. He quietly pinched himself. It hurt. So he had to be awake. Or maybe he was crazy.
The profile was sorrowfully addressing a downcast Joe. “You should of asked them, Joe. You really should of. Now you don’t even get the three points for the swordfish, because you went an’ tried for the combo. It reely is a pity. Din’t you ask them at all?”
The profile was sadly talking to a dejected Joe. “You should have asked them, Joe. You really should have. Now you don’t even get the three points for the swordfish, because you went and tried for the combo. It really is a shame. Didn’t you ask them at all?”
Joe blustered, “He did say sump’m, but I figured a rocket flyer was a rocket flyer, and they come out of a rocket.” His lower lip was trembling. Both of the ladies of his party were crying openly. “We tried,” Joe said, and began to blubber. Ross moved away from him in horrified disgust.
Joe shouted, “He did say something, but I thought a rocket flyer was a rocket flyer, and they come out of a rocket.” His lower lip was shaking. Both women in his group were crying freely. “We tried,” Joe said, and started to sob. Ross stepped away from him in disgust.
The profile shook its head, turned and announced: “Owing to a unfortunate mistake, the search group of Dr. Joseph Mulcahy, Sc.D., Ph.D., got disqualified for the combination. They on’y got three points. So that’s all the groups in an’ who got the highest?”
The profile shook its head, turned and announced: “Due to an unfortunate mistake, Dr. Joseph Mulcahy's search team got disqualified for the combination. They only scored three points. So, which group ended up with the highest score?”
“I got fifteen! I got fifteen!” screamed a gorgeous brunette in a transport of joy. “A manhole cover from the museum an’ a las’ month Lipreaders Digest an’ a steering wheel from a police car! I got fifteen!”
“I got fifteen! I got fifteen!” shouted a beautiful brunette in sheer excitement. “A manhole cover from the museum, last month’s Lipreaders Digest, and a steering wheel from a police car! I got fifteen!”
The others clustered about her, chattering. Ross said to the profile mechanically: “Man of Earth, we come from a far-distant star in search of——”
The others gathered around her, chatting. Ross said to the figure robotically: “Man of Earth, we come from a distant star in search of——”
“Sure, Buster,” said the profile. “Sure. Too bad. But you should of told Joe. You don’t have to go. You an’ your friends have a drink. Mix. Have fun. I gotta go give the prize now.” He hurried off.
“Sure, Buster,” said the profile. “Sure. Too bad. But you should have told Joe. You don’t have to leave. You and your friends can have a drink. Hang out. Have fun. I’ve gotta go give out the prize now.” He hurried off.
A passing blonde, stacked, said to Ross: “Hel-looo, baldy. Wanna see my operation?” He began to shake his head and felt Helena’s fingers close like steel on his arm. The blonde sniffed and passed on.
A passing blonde, curvy, said to Ross: “Hey there, baldy. Want to check out my procedure?” He started to shake his head and felt Helena’s grip tighten like a vice on his arm. The blonde sniffed and moved on.
“I’ll operate her,” Helena said, and then: “Ross, what’s wrong with everybody? They act so young, even the old people!”
“I’ll take care of her,” Helena said, and then: “Ross, what’s up with everyone? They act so immature, even the older folks!”
“Follow me,” he said, and began to circulate through the party, trailing Bernie and a frankly terrified Helena, button-holing and confronting and demanding and cajoling. Nothing worked. He was greeted with amused tolerance and invited to have a drink and asked what he thought of the 145latest commersh with its tepid trumpets. Nobody gave a damn that he was from a far-distant star except Joe, who sullenly watched them wander and finally swaggered up to Ross.
“Follow me,” he said, and started moving through the party, with Bernie and a genuinely scared Helena trailing behind. He grabbed people to talk, confronted them, demanded attention, and tried to persuade them. Nothing worked. He was met with amused indifference, invited to have a drink, and asked what he thought about the latest commercial with its half-hearted trumpets. No one cared that he was from a far-off place except for Joe, who glumly watched them drift around and eventually approached Ross.
“I figured something out,” he said grimly. “You made me lose.” He brought up a roundhouse right, and Ross saw the stars and heard the birdies.
“I figured something out,” he said grimly. “You made me lose.” He threw a roundhouse right, and Ross saw stars and heard chirping.
Bernie and Helena brought him to on the street. He found he had been walking for some five minutes with a blanked-out mind. They told him he had been saying over and over again, “Men of Earth, I come from a far-distant star.” It had got them ejected from the party.
Bernie and Helena brought him to on the street. He found he had been walking for about five minutes with a blank mind. They told him he had been repeating, “Men of Earth, I come from a far-distant star.” This got them kicked out of the party.
Helena was crying with anger and frustration; she had also got a nasty scare when one of the vehicles had swerved up onto the sidewalk and almost crushed the three of them against the building wall.
Helena was crying with anger and frustration; she had also gotten a nasty scare when one of the vehicles swerved onto the sidewalk and almost crushed the three of them against the building wall.
“And,” she wailed, “I’m hungry and we don’t know where the ship is and I’ve got to sit down and—and go someplace.”
“And,” she cried, “I’m hungry and we don’t know where the ship is, and I need to sit down and—and go somewhere.”
“So do I,” Bernie said weakly.
“So do I,” Bernie replied weakly.
So did Ross. He said, “Let’s just go into this restaurant. I know we have no money—don’t nag me please, Helena. We’ll order, eat, not pay, and get arrested.” He held up his hand at the protests. “I said, get arrested. The smartest thing we could do. Obviously somebody’s running this place—and it’s not the stoops we’ve seen. The quickest way I know of to get to whoever’s in charge is to get in trouble. And once they see us we can explain everything.”
So did Ross. He said, “Let’s just go into this restaurant. I know we don’t have any money—don’t nag me, please, Helena. We’ll order, eat, not pay, and get arrested.” He raised his hand at the protests. “I said, get arrested. It’s the smartest thing we could do. Obviously, someone’s running this place—and it’s not the people we’ve seen. The quickest way I know to get to whoever’s in charge is to get in trouble. And once they see us, we can explain everything.”
It made sense to them. Unfortunately the first restaurant they tried was coin-operated—from the front door on. So were the second to seventh. Ross tried to talk Bernie into slugging a pedestrian so they could all be jugged for disturbing the peace, but failed.
It made sense to them. Unfortunately, the first restaurant they tried was coin-operated—from the front door on. So were the second to seventh. Ross tried to convince Bernie to hit a pedestrian so they could all get arrested for disturbing the peace, but he failed.
Helena noted at last that the women’s wear shops had live attendants who, presumably, would object to trouble. They marched into one of the gaudy places, each took a dress from a rack and methodically tore them to pieces.
Helena finally realized that the women's clothing stores had staff who, presumably, would not tolerate any trouble. They walked into one of the flashy shops, each grabbed a dress from a rack, and systematically ripped them to shreds.
A saleslady approached them dithering and asked 146tremulously: “What for did you do that? Din’t you like the dresses?”
A saleswoman approached them hesitantly and asked 146nervously: “Why did you do that? Didn't you like the dresses?”
“Well yes, very much,” Helena began apologetically. “But you see, the fact is——”
“Well yes, definitely,” Helena started, sounding a bit apologetic. “But you see, the truth is——”
“Shuddup!” Ross told her. He said to the saleslady: “No. We hated them. We hate every dress here. We’re going to tear up every dress in the place. Why don’t you call the police?”
“Shut up!” Ross told her. He said to the saleslady: “No. We hated them. We hate every dress here. We’re going to tear up every dress in the place. Why don’t you call the police?”
“Oh,” she said vaguely. “All right,” and vanished into the rear of the store. She returned after a minute and said, “He wants to know your names.”
“Oh,” she said absently. “Okay,” and disappeared into the back of the store. She came back after a minute and said, “He wants to know your names.”
“Just say ‘three desperate strangers,’” Ross told her.
“Just say ‘three desperate strangers,’” Ross said to her.
“Oh. Thank you.” She vanished again.
“Thanks!” She vanished again.
The police arrived in five minutes or so. An excited elder man with many stripes on his arms strode up to them excitedly as they stood among the shredded ruins of the dresses. “Where’d they go?” he demanded. “Didja see what they looked like?”
The police showed up in about five minutes. An excited old man with a lot of stripes on his arms hurried over to them as they stood among the torn remnants of the dresses. “Where did they go?” he asked forcefully. “Did you see what they looked like?”
“We’re them. We three. We tore these dresses up. You’d better take them along for evidence.”
“We’re the ones. Us three. We ripped up these dresses. You should take them as proof.”
“Oh,” the cop said. “Okay. Go on into the wagon. And no funny business, hear me?”
“Oh,” the cop said. “Alright. Get in the wagon. And no funny stuff, got it?”
They offered no funny business. In the wagon Ross expounded on his theme that there must be directing intelligences and that they must be at the top. Helena was horribly depressed because she had never been arrested before and Bernie was almost jaunty. Something about him suggested that he felt at home in a patrol wagon.
They didn’t mess around. In the wagon, Ross elaborated on his idea that there had to be guiding forces and that they had to be in charge. Helena felt really down because she had never been arrested before, while Bernie seemed almost cheerful. There was something about him that made it seem like he was comfortable in a police van.
It stopped and the elderly stripe-wearer opened the door for them. Ross looked on the busy street for anything resembling a station house and found none.
It came to a halt, and the older guy in the striped uniform opened the door for them. Ross scanned the bustling street for anything that looked like a station house but saw nothing.
The cop said, “Okay, you people. Get going. An’ let’s don’t have no trouble or I’ll run you in.”
The cop said, “Alright, you all. Move along. And let’s not have any trouble or I’ll take you in.”
Ross yelled in outrage, “This is a frame-up! You have no right to turn us loose. We demand to be arrested and tried!”
Ross shouted in anger, “This is a setup! You have no right to let us go. We want to be arrested and put on trial!”
“Wise guy,” sneered the cop, climbed into the wagon and drove off.
“Smart guy,” mocked the cop, got into the wagon and drove away.
They stood forlornly as the crowd eddied and swirled around them. “There was a plate of sandwiches at that 147party,” Helena recalled wistfully. “And a ladies’ room.” She began to cry. “If only you hadn’t acted so darn superior, Ross! I’ll bet they would have let us have all the sandwiches we wanted.”
They stood sadly as the crowd moved around them. “There was a plate of sandwiches at that 147 party,” Helena remembered with longing. “And a ladies’ room.” She started to cry. “If only you hadn’t acted so damn superior, Ross! I bet they would have let us have all the sandwiches we wanted.”
Bernie said unexpectedly, “She’s right. Watch me.”
Bernie suddenly said, “She’s right. Just watch me.”
He buttonholed a pedestrian and said, “Duh.”
He stopped a passerby and said, “Duh.”
“Yeah?” asked the pedestrian with kindly interest.
“Yeah?” asked the pedestrian with genuine interest.
Bernie concentrated and said, “Duh. I yam losted. I yam broke. I losted all my money. Gimme some money, mister, please?”
Bernie focused and said, “Duh. I'm lost. I'm broke. I lost all my money. Can you give me some money, mister, please?”
The pedestrian beamed and said, “That is real tough luck, buddy. If I give you some money will you send it to me when you get some more? Here is my name wrote on a card.”
The pedestrian smiled and said, “That’s really bad luck, man. If I give you some money, will you send it back to me when you have some more? Here’s my name written on a card.”
Bernie said, “Sure, mister. I will send the money to you.”
Bernie said, “Sure, man. I’ll send the money to you.”
“Then,” said the pedestrian, “I will give you some money because you will send it back to me. Good luck, buddy.”
“Then,” said the passerby, “I’ll give you some cash because you’ll send it back to me. Good luck, man.”
Bernie, with quiet pride, showed them a piece of paper that bore the interesting legend Twenty Dollars.
Bernie, with quiet pride, showed them a piece of paper that had the intriguing note "Twenty Dollars."
“Let’s eat,” Ross said, awed.
“Let’s eat,” Ross said, amazed.
A machine on a restaurant door changed the bill for a surprising heap of coins and they swaggered in, making beelines for the modest twin doors at the rear of the place. Close up the doors were not very modest, but after the initial shock Ross realized that there must be many on this planet who could not read at all. The washroom attendant, for instance, who collected the “dimes” and unlocked the booths. “Dime” seemed to be his total vocabulary.
A machine at the restaurant door changed the bill for a surprising pile of coins, and they confidently walked in, heading straight for the modest twin doors at the back of the place. Up close, the doors weren't really that modest, but after the initial shock, Ross realized there must be many people on this planet who couldn't read at all. Like the washroom attendant, for example, who collected the “dimes” and unlocked the stalls. “Dime” seemed to be his entire vocabulary.
By comparison the machines in the restaurant proper were intelligent. The three of them ate and ate and ate. Only after coffee did they spare a thought for Dr. Sam Jones, who should about then be awakening with a murderous hangover aboard the starship.
By comparison, the machines in the restaurant were smart. The three of them kept eating and eating. Only after coffee did they think about Dr. Sam Jones, who would probably be waking up with a brutal hangover on the starship.
Thinking about him did not mean they could think of anything to do.
Thinking about him didn't mean they could come up with anything to do.
“He’s in trouble,” Bernie said. “We’re in trouble. First things first.”
“He’s in trouble,” Bernie said. “We’re in trouble. Let’s take care of this one step at a time.”
“What trouble?” asked Helena brightly. “You got twenty dollars by asking for it and I suppose you can get plenty more. And I think we wouldn’t have got thrown out of that 148party if—ah—we hadn’t gone swaggering around talking as if we knew everything. Maybe these people here aren’t very bright——”
“What trouble?” asked Helena cheerfully. “You got twenty dollars just by asking for it, and I bet you can get a lot more. And I think we wouldn’t have gotten kicked out of that 148 party if—ah—we hadn’t been strutting around acting like we knew everything. Maybe these people here aren’t very bright——”
Ross snorted.
Ross laughed dismissively.
Helena went on doggedly, “——not very bright, but they certainly can tell when somebody’s brighter than they are. And naturally they don’t like it. Would you like it? It’s like a really old person talking to a really young person about nothing but age. But here when you’re bright you make everybody feel bad every time you open your mouth.”
Helena continued stubbornly, “——not very smart, but they definitely can tell when someone is smarter than they are. And of course, they don’t like it. Would you like it? It’s like an elderly person talking to a young person only about age. But when you’re smart here, you make everyone feel bad every time you speak.”
“So,” Ross said impatiently, “we can go on begging and drifting. But that’s not what we’re here for. The answer is supposed to be on Earth. Obviously none of the people we’ve seen could possibly know anything about genetics. Obviously they can’t keep this machine civilization going without guidance. There must be people of normal intelligence around. In the government, is my guess.”
“So,” Ross said impatiently, “we can keep begging and aimlessly wandering. But that’s not why we’re here. The answer is supposed to be on Earth. Clearly none of the people we’ve encountered know anything about genetics. Obviously, they can’t keep this machine civilization running without some guidance. There must be people with regular intelligence out there. I’m guessing in the government.”
“No,” said Helena, but she wouldn’t say why. She just thought not.
“No,” said Helena, but she didn’t explain why. She just felt that way.
The inconclusive debate ended with them on the street again. Bernie, who seemed to enjoy it, begged a hundred dollars. Ross, who didn’t, got eleven dollars in singles and a few threats of violence for acting like a wise guy. Helena got no money and three indecent proposals before Ross indignantly took her out of circulation.
The unresolved argument finished with them back on the street. Bernie, who looked like he was having a good time, asked for a hundred bucks. Ross, who definitely wasn't enjoying it, ended up with eleven dollars in singles and a couple of threats for acting like a smartass. Helena walked away empty-handed and received three inappropriate proposals before Ross angrily pulled her out of the situation.
They found a completely automatic hotel at nightfall. Ross tried to inspect Helena’s room for comfort and safety, but was turned back at the threshold by a staggering jolt of electricity. “Mechanical house dick,” he muttered, picking himself up from the floor. “Well,” he said to her sourly, “it’s safe. Good night.”
They found a fully automated hotel as night fell. Ross attempted to check Helena’s room for comfort and safety but was stopped at the entrance by a shocking jolt of electricity. “Mechanical house guard,” he grumbled, getting back up from the floor. “Well,” he said to her with irritation, “it’s safe. Good night.”
And later in the gents’ room, to Bernie: “You’d think the damn-fool machine could be adjusted so that a person with perfectly innocent intentions could visit a lady——”
And later in the men's room, to Bernie: “You’d think the stupid machine could be set up so that someone with totally innocent intentions could visit a woman——”
“Sure,” said Bernie soothingly, “sure. Say, Ross, frankly, is this Earth exactly what you expected it to be?”
“Sure,” Bernie said gently, “sure. So, Ross, to be honest, is this Earth exactly what you expected it to be?”
The attendant moved creakily across the floor and said hopefully, “Dime?”
The attendant walked slowly across the floor and said hopefully, “Dime?”
..... 13
THEIR second day on the bum they accumulated a great deal of change and crowded into a telephone booth. The plan was to try to locate their starship and find out what, if anything, could be done for Sam Jones.
THEIR second day on the run, they gathered a lot of change and squeezed into a phone booth. The plan was to try to find their starship and see what, if anything, could be done for Sam Jones.
An automatic Central conferred with an automatic Information and decided that they wanted the Captain of the Port, Baltimore Rocket Field.
An automated Central communicated with an automated Information system and decided they wanted the Captain of the Port, Baltimore Rocket Field.
They got the Port Captain on the wire and Ross asked after the starship. The captain asked, “Who wan’sta know, huh?”
They got the Port Captain on the line, and Ross inquired about the starship. The captain asked, “Who wants to know, huh?”
Ross realized he had overdone it and shoved Bernie at the phone. Bernie snorted and guggled and finally got out that he jus’ wannit ta know. The captain warmed up immediately and said oh, sure, the funny-lookin’ ship, it was still there all right.
Ross realized he had gone too far and pushed Bernie towards the phone. Bernie made a snorting sound and finally managed to say he just wanted to know. The captain quickly warmed up and said, oh, sure, the strange-looking ship was still there.
“How about the fella that’s in it?”
“How about the guy who’s in it?”
“You mean the funny-lookin’ fella? He went someplace.”
“You mean the weird-looking guy? He went somewhere.”
“He went someplace? What place?”
“Did he go somewhere? Where?”
“Someplace. He went away, like. I din’t see him go, mister. I got plenty to do without I should watch out for every dummy that comes along.”
“Somewhere. He left, I guess. I didn’t see him leave, sir. I have a lot on my plate without having to keep an eye on every fool that shows up.”
“T’anks,” said Bernie hopelessly at Ross’s signal.
“Thanks,” said Bernie hopelessly at Ross’s signal.
150They walked the street, deep in thought. Helena sobbed, “Let’s leave him here, Ross. I don’t like this place.”
150They walked down the street, lost in their thoughts. Helena cried, “Let’s leave him here, Ross. I don’t like this place.”
“No.”
“No.”
Bernie growled, “What’s the difference, Ross? He can get a snootful just as easy here as anywhere else——”
Bernie growled, “What’s the difference, Ross? He can get a drink just as easily here as anywhere else——”
“No! It isn’t the Doc, don’t you see? But this is the place we’re looking for. All the answers we need are here; we’ve got to get them.”
“No! It’s not the Doc, don’t you get it? But this is the place we’re searching for. All the answers we need are here; we have to get them.”
Bernie stepped around two tussling men on the ground, ineffectually thumping each other over a chocolate-covered confection. “Yeah,” he said shortly.
Bernie stepped around two guys on the ground, futilely hitting each other over a chocolate-covered treat. “Yeah,” he said briefly.
Helena said: “Isn’t that a silly way to put up a big sign like that?”
Helena said, “Isn’t that a ridiculous way to put up such a big sign?”
Ross looked up. “My God,” he said. A gigantic metal sign with the legend, Buy Smogs——You Can SMOKE Them, was being hoisted across the street ahead. The street was nominally closed to traffic by cheerfully inattentive men with red flags; a mobile boom hoist was doing the work, and quite obviously doing it wrong. The angle of the boom arm with the vertical was far too great for stability; the block-long sign was tipping the too-light body of the hoisting engine on its treads....
Ross looked up. “Oh my God,” he said. A giant metal sign with the words, Buy Smogs——You Can SMOKE Them, was being raised across the street ahead. The street was technically closed to traffic by casually distracted guys with red flags; a mobile boom lift was doing the job, and it was clearly doing it wrong. The angle of the boom arm with the vertical was way too steep for stability; the block-long sign was tilting the too-light body of the hoisting engine on its wheels....
Ross made a flash calculation: when the sign fell, as fall it inevitably would, perhaps two hundred people who had wandered uncaringly past the warning flags would be under it.
Ross quickly calculated: when the sign fell, as it inevitably would, maybe two hundred people who had carelessly walked past the warning flags would be underneath it.
There was a sudden aura of blue light around the engine body.
There was a sudden glow of blue light around the engine body.
It tipped back to stability. The boom angle decreased, and the engine crawled forward to take up the horizontal difference.
It tilted back to a stable position. The boom angle lowered, and the engine moved slowly forward to cover the horizontal gap.
The blue light went out.
The blue light turned off.
Helena choked and coughed and babbled, “But Ross, it couldn’t have because——”
Helena choked and coughed and babbled, “But Ross, it couldn’t have because——”
Ross said: “It’s them!”
Ross said: “It’s them!”
“Who?”
"Who’s there?"
Excitedly: “The people behind all this! The people who built the cities and put up the buildings and designed the machines. The people who have the answers! Come on, 151Bernie. I just seem to antagonize these people—I want you to ask the boom operator what happened.”
Excitedly: “The people behind all this! The people who built the cities, put up the buildings, and designed the machines. The people who have the answers! Come on, 151Bernie. I keep getting on these people's nerves—I need you to ask the boom operator what happened.”
The boom operator cheerfully explained that nah, it was just somep’n that happened. Nah, nobody did nothin’ to make it happen. It was in case if anything went wrong, like. You know?
The boom operator happily explained that no, it was just something that happened. No, nobody did anything to cause it. It was just in case something went wrong, you know?
They retired and regrouped their forces.
They stepped back and reorganized their forces.
“Foolproof machines,” Ross said slowly. “And I mean really fool proof. Friends, I was wrong, I admit it; I thought that those buildings and cars were something super-special, and they turned out to be just silly gimcracks. But not this blue light thing. That boom had to fall.”
“Foolproof machines,” Ross said slowly. “And I mean really fool proof. Friends, I was wrong, I admit it; I thought those buildings and cars were something really special, and they turned out to be just silly junk. But not this blue light thing. That boom had to fall.”
Bernie shrugged rebelliously. “So what? So they’ve got some kinds of machines you don’t have on Halsey’s Planet?”
Bernie shrugged defiantly. “So what? They have some machines that you don't have on Halsey's Planet?”
“A different order of machines, Bernie! Believe me, that blue light was something as far from any safety device I ever heard of as the starships are from oxcarts. When we find the people who designed them——”
“A different kind of machines, Bernie! Trust me, that blue light was as far from any safety device I've ever heard of as starships are from oxcarts. When we find the people who designed them——”
“Suppose they’re all dead?”
"What if they’re all dead?"
Ross winced. He said determinedly, “We’ll find them.” They returned to their begging and were recognized one day by the gray-haired profile of the party. He didn’t remember just who they were or where they were from or where he had met them, but he enthusiastically invited them to yet another party. He told them he was Hennery Matson, owner of an airline.
Ross grimaced. He said firmly, “We’ll track them down.” They went back to their begging and were recognized one day by the gray-haired figure from the party. He couldn’t recall who they were, where they were from, or where he had met them, but he warmly invited them to yet another party. He introduced himself as Hennery Matson, the owner of an airline.
Ross asked about accidents and blue lights. Matson jovially said some o’ his pilots talked about them things but he din’t bother his head none. Ya get these planes from the field, see, an’ they got all kinds of gadgets on them. Come on to the party!
Ross asked about accidents and blue lights. Matson joked that some of his pilots talked about those things, but he didn’t let it bother him at all. You take these planes from the field, you see, and they’ve got all sorts of gadgets on them. Come on to the party!
They went, because Hennery promised them another guest—Sanford Eisner, who was a wealthy aircraft manufacturer. But he din’t bother his head none either; them rockets was hard to make, you had to feed the patterns, like, into the master jigs just so, and, boy!, if you got ’em in backwards it was a mess. Wheredja get the patterns? Look, mister, we always had the patterns, an’ don’t spoil the party, will ya?
They went because Hennery promised them another guest—Sanford Eisner, who was a wealthy aircraft manufacturer. But he didn't worry about it either; those rockets were hard to make, you had to feed the patterns into the master jigs just right, and, wow!, if you got them in backwards it was a mess. Where did you get the patterns? Look, man, we always had the patterns, and don’t ruin the party, okay?
152The party was a smasher. They all woke with headaches on Matson’s deep living room rug.
152The party was a huge success. Everyone woke up with headaches on Matson’s thick living room rug.
“You did fine, Ross,” Helena softly assured him. “Nobody would have guessed you were any smarter than anybody else here. There wasn’t a bit of trouble.”
“You did great, Ross,” Helena softly reassured him. “No one would have guessed you were any smarter than anyone else here. It went really smoothly.”
Ross seemed to have a hiatus in his memory.
Ross seemed to have a gap in his memory.
The importance of the hiatus faded as time passed. There was a general move toward the automatic dispensing bar. It seemed to be regulated by a time clock; no matter what you dialed first thing in the morning, it ruthlessly poured a double rye with Worcestershire and tabasco and plopped a fair imitation of a raw egg into the concoction. It helped!
The significance of the break diminished over time. There was a widespread shift to the automatic dispensing bar. It appeared to be controlled by a timer; no matter what you wanted to mix first thing in the morning, it coldly poured a double rye with Worcestershire and Tabasco and dropped a decent imitation of a raw egg into the mix. It helped!
Along about noon something clicked in the bar’s innards. Guests long since surfeited with the prairie oysters joyously dialed martinis and manhattans and the day’s serious drinking began.
Around noon, something clicked in the bar's inner workings. Guests, who had long ago had their fill of prairie oysters, happily ordered martinis and Manhattans, and the day's serious drinking began.
Ross fuzzily tried to trace the bar’s supply. There were nickel pipes that led Heaven knew where. Some vast depot of fermentation tanks and stills? Fed grain and cane by crawling harvest-monsters? Grain and cane planted from seed the harvest-monsters carefully culled from the crop for the plow-and-drag-and-drill-and-fertilize-and-cultivate monsters?
Ross vaguely tried to follow the bar's supply chain. There were metal pipes that led who knows where. Maybe to some huge storage facility full of fermentation tanks and stills? Fed by huge machines harvesting grain and sugarcane? Grain and sugarcane planted from seeds that the harvest machines carefully picked from the crops for the plow-and-drill-and-fertilizer-and-cultivation machines?
His head was beginning to ache again. A jovial martini-drinker who had something to do with a bank—a bank!—roared, “Hey, fellas! I got a idea what we can do! Less go on over to my place!”
His head was starting to hurt again. A cheerful martini-drinker connected to a bank—a bank!—shouted, “Hey, guys! I have an idea for us! Let’s go over to my place!”
So they all went, and that disposed of another day.
So they all went, and that wrapped up another day.
It blended into a dream of irresponsible childhood. When your clothes grew shabby you helped yourself to something that fit from your host of the moment’s wardrobe. When you grew tired of one host you switched to another. They seldom remembered you from day to day, and they never asked questions.
It merged into a dream of carefree childhood. When your clothes became worn out, you borrowed something that fit from whoever's wardrobe you were staying with at the time. When you got bored with one host, you moved on to another. They rarely remembered you from one day to the next, and they never asked questions.
Their sex was uninhibited and most of the women were more or less pregnant most of the time. They fought and sulked and made up and giggled and drank and ate and slept. All of the men had jobs, and all of them, once in a while, would remember and stagger over to a phone and 153make a call to an automatic receptionist to find out if everything was going all right with their jobs. It always was. They loved their children and tolerated anything from them, except shrewd inquisitiveness which drew a fast bust in the teeth from the most indulgent daddy or adoring mommy. They loved their friends and their guests, as long as they weren’t wise guys, and tolerated anything from them—as long as they weren’t wise guys.
Their sexual lives were carefree, and most of the women were pregnant most of the time. They argued, sulked, made up, laughed, drank, ate, and slept. All the men had jobs, and occasionally, they would remember to stagger over to a phone and 153call an automated receptionist to check if everything was okay at work. It always was. They loved their kids and put up with anything from them, except for sharp curiosity, which earned a quick reprimand from even the most indulgent dad or loving mom. They cared about their friends and guests, as long as they weren’t know-it-alls, and tolerated anything from them—as long as they weren’t know-it-alls.
Did it last a day, a week, a month?
Did it last a day, a week, or a month?
Ross didn’t know. The only things that were really bothering Ross were, first, nobody wouldn’t tell him nothin’ about the blue lights and, second, that Bernie, he was actin’ like a wise guy.
Ross didn’t know. The only things that were really bothering Ross were, first, that nobody would tell him anything about the blue lights, and second, that Bernie was acting like a smart aleck.
There came a morning when it ended as it had begun: on somebody’s living room rug with a headache pounding between his eyes. Helena was sobbing softly, and that wise guy, Bernie, was tugging at him.
There came a morning when it ended just like it had started: on someone's living room rug with a headache pounding in his head. Helena was quietly crying, and that smart guy, Bernie, was pulling at him.
“Lea’ me alone,” ordered Captain Ross without opening his eyes. Wouldn’t let a man get his rest. What did he have to bring them along for, anyway? Should have left them where he found them, not brought them to this place Earth where they could act like a couple of wise guys and keep getting in his way every time he came close to the blue-light people, the intelligent people, the people with the answers to——to——
“Leave me alone,” ordered Captain Ross without opening his eyes. Wouldn’t let a man get his rest. Why did he even bring them along? He should have left them where he found them, not brought them to this place Earth where they could act like a couple of smartasses and keep getting in his way every time he got close to the blue-light people, the intelligent people, the people with the answers to——to——
He lay there, trying to remember what the question was.
He lay there, trying to remember what the question was.
“——have to get him out of here,” said Helena’s voice with a touch of hysteria.
“——have to get him out of here,” Helena's voice said, sounding a bit hysterical.
“——go back and get that fellow Haarland,” said Bernie’s voice, equally tense. Ross contemplated the fragments of conversation he had caught, ignoring what the two were saying to him. Haarland, he thought fuzzily, that wise guy....
“——go back and get that guy Haarland,” Bernie’s voice said, just as tense. Ross thought about the bits of conversation he had overheard, tuning out what the two were saying to him. Haarland, he thought vaguely, that smart guy....
Bernie had him on his feet. “Leggo,” ordered Ross, but Bernie was tenacious. He stumbled along and found himself in the men’s room of the apartment. The tired-looking attendant appeared from nowhere and Bernie said something to him. The attendant rummaged in his chest and found something that Bernie put into a fizzy drink.
Bernie got him up on his feet. “Let go,” Ross commanded, but Bernie wouldn’t let go. He stumbled along and ended up in the apartment's men’s room. The weary-looking attendant seemed to appear out of nowhere, and Bernie said something to him. The attendant dug through his chest and found something that Bernie mixed into a fizzy drink.
Ross sniffed at it suspiciously. “Wassit?” he asked.
Ross sniffed it suspiciously. “What's that?” he asked.
154“Please, Ross, drink it. It’ll sober you up. We’ve got to get out of here—we’re going nuts, Helena and me. This has been going on for weeks!”
154“Please, Ross, drink this. It’ll help clear your head. We need to get out of here—we’re losing it, Helena and I. This has been going on for weeks!”
“Nope. Gotta find a blue light,” Ross said obstinately, swaying.
“Nope. I need to find a blue light,” Ross said stubbornly, swaying.
“But you aren’t finding it, Ross. You aren’t doing anything except get drunk and pass out and wake up and get drunk. Come on, drink the drink.” Ross impatiently dashed it to the floor. Bernie sighed. “All right, Ross,” he said wearily. “Helena can run the ship; we’re taking off.”
“But you’re not looking for it, Ross. You’re not doing anything other than getting drunk, passing out, waking up, and getting drunk again. Come on, just drink the drink.” Ross impatiently threw it to the floor. Bernie sighed. “Okay, Ross,” he said wearily. “Helena can pilot the ship; we’re taking off.”
“Go ’head.”
"Go ahead."
“Good-by, Ross. We’re going back to Halsey’s Planet, where you came from. Maybe Haarland can tell us what to do.”
“Goodbye, Ross. We’re heading back to Halsey’s Planet, where you came from. Maybe Haarland can advise us on what to do.”
“Go ’head. That wise guy!” Ross sneered.
"Go ahead. That wise guy!" Ross sneered.
The attendant was watching dubiously as Bernie slammed out and Ross peered at himself in a mirror. “Dime?” the attendant asked in his tired voice. Ross gave him one and went back to the party.
The attendant watched skeptically as Bernie stormed out and Ross checked himself out in a mirror. “Change?” the attendant asked in his weary voice. Ross handed him a dime and returned to the party.
Somehow it was not much fun.
Somehow, it just wasn't that enjoyable.
He shuffled back to the bar. The boilermaker didn’t taste too good. He set it down and glowered around the room. The party was back in swing already; Helena and Bernie were nowhere in sight. Let them go, then....
He shuffled back to the bar. The boilermaker didn’t taste great. He set it down and glared around the room. The party was back in full swing already; Helena and Bernie were nowhere to be seen. Let them go, then...
He drank, but only when he reminded himself to. This party had become a costume ball; one of the men lurched out of the room and staggered back guffawing. “Looka him!” one of the women shrieked. “He got a woman’s hat on! Horace, you get the craziest kinda ideas!”
He drank, but only when he remembered to. This party had turned into a costume party; one of the guys stumbled out of the room and staggered back laughing loudly. “Look at him!” one of the women shouted. “He’s wearing a woman’s hat! Horace, you always come up with the wildest ideas!”
Ross glowered. He suddenly realized that, while he wasn’t exactly sober, he wasn’t drunk either. Those soreheads, they had to go and spoil the party....
Ross scowled. He suddenly realized that, while he wasn't exactly sober, he wasn't drunk either. Those buzzkills, they had to go and ruin the party....
He began abruptly to get less drunk yet. Back to Halsey’s Planet, they said? Ask Haarland what to do, they said? Leave him here——?
He suddenly started to sober up a bit more. Back to Halsey’s Planet, they said? Ask Haarland what to do, they said? Leave him here——?
He was cold sober.
He was completely sober.
He found a telephone. The automatic Central checked the automatic Information and got him the Captain of the Port, Baltimore Rocket Field. The Captain was helpful and sympathetic; caught by the tense note in Ross’s voice 155when he told him who wannit to know, the Captain said, “Gee, buddy, if I’d of known I woulda stopped them. Stoled your ship, is that what they done? They could get arrested for that. You could call the cops an’ maybe they could do something——”
He found a phone. The automatic Central checked the automatic Information and connected him to the Captain of the Port, Baltimore Rocket Field. The Captain was helpful and understanding; hearing the tension in Ross’s voice when he asked who wanted to know, the Captain said, “Wow, man, if I’d known, I would have stopped them. They stole your ship, right? That’s something they could get arrested for. You should call the cops, and maybe they can do something——” 155
Ross didn’t bother to explain. He hung up.
Ross didn’t take the time to explain. He ended the call.
The party was no fun at all. He left it.
The party wasn't enjoyable at all. He left.
Ross walked along the street, hating himself. He couldn’t hate Helena and Bernie; they had done the right thing. It had been his fault, all the way down the line. He’d been acting like a silly child; he’d had a job of work to do, and he let himself be sidetracked by a crazy round of drinking and parties.
Ross strolled down the street, feeling self-loathing. He couldn't direct his anger at Helena and Bernie; they had done what was right. It had all been his fault from the start. He had been behaving like a foolish child; he had a job to do, and he allowed himself to get distracted by a wild spree of drinking and parties.
Of course, he told himself, something had been accomplished. Somebody had built the machines—not the happy morons he had been playing with. Somebody had invented whatever it was that flared with blue light and repaired the idiot errors the morons made. Somebody, somewhere.
Of course, he reminded himself, something had been achieved. Someone had created the machines—not the clueless idiots he had been dealing with. Someone had come up with whatever it was that glowed with blue light and fixed the dumb mistakes the idiots made. Someone, somewhere.
Where?
Where at?
Well, he had some information. All negative. At the parties had been soldiers and politicians and industrialists and clergy and entertainers and, heaven save the mark, scientists. And none of them had had the wit to do more than push the Number Three Button when the Green Light A blinked, by rote. None of them could have given him the answer to the question that threatened to end human domination over the cosmos; none of them would have known what the words meant.
Well, he had some information. All negative. At the parties, there were soldiers, politicians, industrialists, clergy, entertainers, and, God help us, scientists. And none of them had the smarts to do more than just press the Number Three Button when the Green Light A blinked, out of habit. None of them could have answered the question that could end human dominance over the cosmos; none of them would have even understood what the words meant.
Maybe—Ross made himself face it—maybe there was no answer. Maybe even if he found the intellects that lurked beneath the surface on this ancient planet, they could not or would not tell him what he wanted to know. Maybe the intellects didn’t exist.
Maybe—Ross admitted to himself—maybe there was no answer. Maybe even if he discovered the minds hidden beneath the surface of this ancient planet, they couldn't or simply wouldn't tell him what he wanted to know. Maybe those minds didn’t even exist.
Maybe he was all wrong in all of his assumptions; maybe he was wasting his time. But, he told himself wryly, he had fixed it for himself that time was all he had left. He might as well waste it. He might as well go right on looking....
Maybe he was completely mistaken about everything; maybe he was just wasting his time. But, he thought to himself with a touch of irony, he had made it so that time was all he had left. He might as well waste it. He might as well keep on looking....
A migrant party was staggering down the street toward him, a score of persons going from one host’s home to 156another. He crossed to avoid them. They were singing drunkenly.
A group of migrants was stumbling down the street toward him, twenty people moving from one host's home to another. He crossed the street to avoid them. They were singing loudly and drunkenly.
Ross looked at them with the distaste of the recently reformed. One of the voices raised in song caught his ear:
Ross looked at them with the disgust of someone who just changed their ways. One of the voices raised in song caught his attention:
“——bobbed his nose and dyed it rose, and kissed his lady fair, And sat her down on a cushion brown in a seven-legged chair. ‘By Jones,’ he said, ‘my shoes are red, and so’s my overcoat, And with buttons nine in a zigzag line, I’ll——’”
“——bobbed his nose and dyed it pink, and kissed his girl, And sat her down on a brown cushion in a seven-legged chair. ‘By Jones,’ he said, ‘my shoes are red, and so is my overcoat, And with nine buttons in a zigzag line, I’ll——”
“Doc!” Ross bellowed. “Doc Jones! For God’s sake, come over here!”
“Doc!” Ross shouted. “Doc Jones! For goodness’ sake, come over here!”
They got rid of the rest of Doctor Sam Jones’s party, and Ross sobered the doctor up in an all-night restaurant. It wasn’t hard; the doctor had had plenty of practice.
They sent the rest of Doctor Sam Jones’s group away, and Ross helped the doctor sober up in a 24-hour diner. It wasn’t difficult; the doctor was well-acquainted with that.
Ross filled him in, carefully explaining why Bernie and Helena had left him. Doc Jones filled Ross in. He didn’t have much to tell. He had come to in the ship, waited around until he got hungry, fallen into a conversation with a rocket pilot on the field—and that was how his round of parties had begun.
Ross explained everything to him, detailing why Bernie and Helena had left. Doc Jones updated Ross, but he didn’t have much to say. He had regained consciousness on the ship, waited until he got hungry, struck up a conversation with a rocket pilot on the field—and that’s how his series of parties had started.
Like Ross, Doc, in his soberer moments, had come to the conclusion that Earth was run by person or persons unseen. He had learned little that Ross hadn’t found out or deduced. The blue lights had bothered him, too; he’d asked the pilot about it, and found out about what Ross had—there appeared to be some sort of built-in safety device which kept the inevitable accidents from becoming unduly fatal. How they worked, he didn’t know—
Like Ross, Doc, when he was being more realistic, had come to the conclusion that Earth was controlled by unseen individuals. He hadn’t discovered anything that Ross hadn’t already figured out or inferred. The blue lights had unsettled him as well; he’d questioned the pilot about it and learned what Ross had—there seemed to be some kind of built-in safety feature that prevented accidents from being too deadly. How it worked, he didn’t know—
But he had an idea.
But he had a plan.
“It sounds a little ridiculous, I admit,” he said, embarrassed. “But I think it might work. It’s a radio program.”
“It sounds a bit silly, I’ll admit,” he said, feeling embarrassed. “But I think it could work. It’s a radio show.”
“A radio program?”
“A podcast?”
“I said it sounded ridiculous. They call it, ‘What’s Biting You,’ and one of the fellows was telling me about it. It seems that you can appear before the panel on the program with any sort of problem, any sort at all, and they guarantee to solve it for you. There’s some sort of bond posted—I don’t know much about the details, but this man assured me that the bond was only a formality; they 157never failed. Of course,” Doc finished, hearing his own proposal with a touch of doubt, “I don’t know whether they ever had any problem like this before, but——”
“I said it sounded ridiculous. They call it, ‘What’s Biting You,’ and one of the guys was telling me about it. It seems that you can go on the show with any kind of problem, any kind at all, and they promise to solve it for you. There’s some sort of bond required—I don’t know much about the details, but this guy assured me that the bond was just a formality; they never failed. Of course,” Doc finished, hearing his own suggestion with a hint of doubt, “I don’t know if they’ve ever dealt with a problem like this before, but——”
“Yeah,” said Ross. “What have we got to lose?”
“Yeah,” said Ross. “What do we have to lose?”
They got into the program. It took the techniques of a doubler on an army chow line and a fair amount of brute strength, but they got to the head of the queue at the studio and wedged themselves inside. Doc came close to throttling the man who prowled through the studio audience, selecting the lucky few who would get on stage—but they got on.
They got into the program. It took the skills of someone working the line for army food and a good bit of muscle, but they made their way to the front of the line at the studio and squeezed themselves in. Doc almost choked the guy who was moving through the studio audience, picking out the lucky few who would get on stage—but they made it.
The theme music swelled majestically around them, and a chorus crooned, “What’s Biting You—Hunh?” It was repeated three times, with crashing cymbals under the “Hunh?”
The theme music built up grandly around them, and a chorus sang, “What’s Biting You—Hunh?” It was repeated three times, with loud cymbals ringing under the “Hunh?”
Ross listened to the beginning of the program and cursed himself for being persuaded into such a harebrained tactic. But, he had to admit, the program offered the only possibility in sight. The central figure was a huge, jovially grinning figure of papier-mâché, smoking a Smog and billowing smoke rings at the audience. An announcer, for some obscure reason in blackface, interviewed the disturbed derelicts who came before Smiley Smog, the papier-mâché figure, and propounded their problems to Smiley in a sort of doggerel. And in doggerel the answers came back.
Ross listened to the start of the program and scolded himself for being talked into such a ridiculous plan. Yet, he had to admit, the show was the only option available. The main attraction was a giant, cheerfully grinning papier-mâché figure, puffing a Smog and blowing smoke rings at the audience. For some unclear reason, an announcer in blackface interviewed the troubled individuals who came before Smiley Smog, the papier-mâché figure, and presented their problems to Smiley in a sort of playful verse. And in playful verse, the answers were returned.
The first person to go up before Smiley was a woman, clearly in her last month of pregnancy. The announcer introduced her to the audience and begged for a real loud holler of hello for this poor mizzuble li’l girl. “Awright, honey,” he said. “You just step right up here an’ let ol’ Uncle Smiley take care of your troubles for you. Less go, now. What’s Bitin’ You?”
The first person to step up to Smiley was a woman, obviously in her last month of pregnancy. The announcer introduced her to the crowd and asked for a big, loud cheer for this poor, miserable little girl. “Alright, sweetheart,” he said. “You just come right up here and let good old Uncle Smiley handle your troubles for you. Let’s go, now. What’s bothering you?”
“Uh,” she sobbed, “it’s like I’m gonna have a baby.”
“Uh,” she cried, “it’s like I’m about to have a baby.”
“Hoddya like that!” the announcer screamed. “She’s gonna have a baby! Whaddya say to that, folks?” The audience shrieked hysterically. “Awright, honey,” the announcer said. “So you’re gonna have a baby, so what’s bitin’ you about that?”
“Hoddya like that!” the announcer yelled. “She’s gonna have a baby! What do you think about that, folks?” The audience erupted in excited screams. “Alright, honey,” the announcer continued. “So you’re having a baby, what’s bothering you about it?”
“It’s my husband,” the woman sniffled. “He don’t like kids. We got eight already,” she explained. “Jack, he says 158if we have one more kid he’s gonna take off an’ marry somebody else.”
“It’s my husband,” the woman sniffled. “He doesn’t like kids. We already have eight,” she explained. “Jack says if we have one more kid, he’s going to leave and marry someone else.”
“He’s gonna marry somebody else!” the announcer howled. “Hoddya like that, folks?” There was a tempest of boos. “Awright, now,” the announcer said, “you just sit there, honey, while I tell ol’ Uncle Smiley about this. Ya ready? Listen:
“He's going to marry someone else!” the announcer shouted. “How do you feel about that, folks?” A storm of boos erupted. “Alright, now,” the announcer continued, “you just sit there, honey, while I fill ol’ Uncle Smiley in on this. You ready? Listen:
The huge figure’s head rotated on a concealed hinge to look down on the woman. From a squawk-box deep in Smiley’s papier-mâché belly, a weary voice declaimed:
The giant figure’s head turned on a hidden hinge to look down at the woman. From a speaker hidden deep in Smiley’s papier-mâché body, a tired voice announced:
The audience roared its approval. The announcer asked anxiously, “Ya get it? When ya get inta the hospital, like, ya jus’ tell the nurse ya want to take two kids home with you. See?”
The crowd cheered enthusiastically. The announcer asked nervously, “Do you understand? When you get to the hospital, just tell the nurse you want to take two kids home with you. Got it?”
The grateful woman staggered away. Ross gave Doc a poisonous look.
The thankful woman stumbled away. Ross shot Doc a deadly glare.
“What else is there to do?” the doctor hissed. “All right, perhaps this won’t work out—but let’s try!” He half rose, and staggered against the man next to him, who was already starting toward the announcer. “Go on, Ross,” Doc hissed venomously, blocking off the other man.
“What else can we do?” the doctor hissed. “Okay, maybe this won't work out—but let’s give it a shot!” He partially stood up and stumbled against the guy next to him, who was already moving toward the announcer. “Go on, Ross,” Doc hissed fiercely, cutting off the other man.
Ross went. What else was there to do?
Ross left. What else was there to do?
“What’s biting me,” he said belligerently before the announcer could put him through the preliminaries, “is simply this: L-sub-T equals L-sub-zero e to the minus-T-over-two-N.”
“What’s bothering me,” he said angrily before the announcer could start the preliminaries, “is just this: L-sub-T equals L-sub-zero e to the minus-T-over-two-N.”
Dead silence in the studio. The announcer quavered, “Wh-what was that again, buddy?”
Dead silence in the studio. The announcer stammered, “W-what was that again, buddy?”
“I said,” Ross repeated firmly, “L-sub-T equals L-sub-zero e to the——”
“I said,” Ross repeated firmly, “L-sub-T equals L-sub-zero e to the——”
“Now, wait a minute, buddy,” the announcer ordered. “We never had no stuff like that on this program before. Whaddya, some kind of a wise guy?”
“Now, hold on a second, buddy,” the announcer said. “We’ve never had anything like that on this program before. What are you, some kind of smart aleck?”
There might have been violence; the conditions were right for it. But Uncle Smiley Smog saved the day.
There could have been violence; the situation was set for it. But Uncle Smiley Smog stepped in to save the day.
The papier-mâché figure puffed a blinding series of 159smoke rings at Ross. From its molded torso, the weary voice said:
The papier-mâché figure blew out a dazzling set of smoke rings at Ross. From its shaped body, the tired voice said:
They left the studio in a storm of animosity.
They walked out of the studio in a whirlwind of hostility.
“Maybe we could have collected the forfeit,” Doc said hopefully.
“Maybe we could have collected the penalty,” Doc said hopefully.
“Maybe we could have collected some lumps,” Ross growled. “Got any more ideas?”
“Maybe we could have picked up some chunks,” Ross grumbled. “Got any other suggestions?”
The doctor sipped his coffee. “No,” he admitted. “I wonder—No, I don’t suppose that means anything.”
The doctor took a sip of his coffee. “No,” he admitted. “I wonder—No, I don’t think that means anything.”
“That jingle? Sure it means something, Doc. It means I should have had my head examined for letting you talk me into that performance.”
"That jingle? Of course it means something, Doc. It means I should have gotten my head checked for letting you convince me to go through with that performance."
The doctor said rebelliously, “Maybe I’m wrong, Ross, but I don’t see that you’ve had any ideas than panned out much better.”
The doctor said defiantly, “Maybe I’m wrong, Ross, but I don’t see that you’ve had any ideas that have worked out much better.”
Ross got up. “All right,” he admitted. “I’m sorry if I gave you a hard time. It’s all this coffee and all the liquor underneath it; I swear, if I ever get back to a civilized planet I’m going on a solid diet for a month.”
Ross stood up. “Okay,” he confessed. “I’m sorry if I made things difficult for you. It’s all the coffee and the alcohol on top of it; I swear, if I ever get back to a civilized planet, I’m going on a strict diet for a month.”
They headed for the room marked “Gents,” Ross sullenly quiet, Doc thoughtfully quiet.
They walked toward the room labeled "Gents," Ross silent and moody, Doc quietly pondering.
Doc said reflectively, “‘The price is ten cents.’ Ross, could that mean a paper that we could buy on a newsstand, maybe?”
Doc said thoughtfully, “‘The price is ten cents.’ Ross, could that mean a newspaper we could get at a newsstand, maybe?”
“Yeah,” Ross said in irritation. “Look, Doc, don’t give it another thought. There must be some way to straighten this thing out; I’ll think of it. Let’s just make believe that whole asinine radio program never happened.” The attendant materialized and offered Ross a towel.
“Yeah,” Ross said, irritated. “Look, Doc, don’t worry about it anymore. There has to be a way to fix this; I’ll figure it out. Let’s just pretend that ridiculous radio program never happened.” The attendant appeared and handed Ross a towel.
“Dime?” he said wearily.
"Coin?" he said wearily.
Ross fished absently in his pocket. “The thing that bothers me, Doc,” he said, “is that I know there are intelligent people somewhere around. I even know what they’re doing, I bet. They’re doing exactly what I tried to do: acted as stupid as anybody else, or stupider. I’d make a guess,” he said, warming up, “that if we could just make a statistical analysis of the whole planet and find the absolute stupidest-seeming people of the lot, we’d——”
Ross absentmindedly fished in his pocket. “What bothers me, Doc,” he said, “is that I know there are smart people out there. I even think I know what they’re up to. They’re probably doing exactly what I tried to do: acting as clueless as anyone else, or even more so. I’d bet,” he continued, getting into it, “that if we could just analyze statistics from the entire planet and pinpoint the absolute most clueless people, we’d——”
160He ran out of breath all at once. His eyes bulged.
160He suddenly ran out of breath. His eyes widened.
He looked at the men’s-room attendant, and at the ten-cent piece in his own hand.
He looked at the restroom attendant and the dime in his hand.
“You!” he breathed.
"You!" he gasped.
The attendant’s face suddenly seemed to come to life. In a voice that was abruptly richer and deeper than before, the man said: “Yes. You had to find us yourself, you know.”
The attendant’s face suddenly looked animated. In a voice that was suddenly more resonant and deeper than before, the man said: “Yes. You needed to find us on your own, you know.”
..... 14
THERE was a home base, a gigantic island called Australia, to which they took Ross and Doc Jones in a little car that sprouted no wings and flashed no rockets, but flew.
THERE was a home base, a gigantic island called Australia, to which they took Ross and Doc Jones in a little car that didn’t have wings or rockets, but could fly.
They lived underground there, invisible to goggling passengers and crewmen aboard the “rockets.” (They weren’t rockets. They were turbo-jets. But it made the children happy to think that they had rockets, so iron filings were added to the hot jet stream, and they sparkled in magnificent display.)
They lived underground, unnoticed by the amazed passengers and crew on the “rockets.” (They weren’t really rockets. They were turbo-jets. But it made the kids happy to believe they had rockets, so iron filings were added to the hot jet stream, creating a stunning sparkle.)
There they were born, and there they spent strange childhoods, learning such things as psychodynamics and teleportation. By the time they were eight months or so old they thought it amusing to converse of Self and the Meaning of Meaning. By eighteen months a dozen infants would chat in terza rima. But by the age of two they had put such toys behind them with a sigh of pleasant regret. They would revert to them only for such purposes as love-making or choral funeral addresses.
There they were born, and there they had unusual childhoods, learning things like psychodynamics and teleportation. By the time they were about eight months old, they found it funny to talk about Self and the Meaning of Meaning. By eighteen months, a dozen infants could chat in terza rima. But by the age of two, they had set those interests aside with a sigh of pleasant regret. They would only revisit them for things like making love or giving choral funeral speeches.
They were then of an age to begin their work.
They were now old enough to start their work.
They were born there, and trained there for terrible tasks. And they died there, at whatever risk. For that they would not surrender: their right to die among their own.
They were born there and trained there for brutal tasks. And they died there, no matter the risk. They wouldn't give that up: their right to die among their own.
162But their lives between cradle and grave, those they gave away.
162But their lives from birth to death, those they surrendered.
Nursemaids? What else can one call them?
Nursemaids? What else could you call them?
They explained it patiently to Ross and the doctor.
They explained it patiently to Ross and the doctor.
“The pattern emerged clearly in the twentieth century. Swarming slums abrawl with children, children, children everywhere. Walk down a Chicago Southside street, and walk away with the dazed impression that all the world was pregnant. Walk through pretty, pleasant Evanston, and find the impression wrong. Those who lived in Evanston were reasonable people. They waited and thought. Being reasonable, they saved and planned. Being reasonable, they resorted to gadgets or chemicals or continence.
“The pattern became obvious in the twentieth century. Swarming slums filled with children, children, children everywhere. Walk down a street on Chicago’s South Side, and you’ll come away with a dazed feeling that the whole world is expecting a baby. Walk through the nice, pleasant area of Evanston, and you’ll realize that impression is wrong. The people who lived in Evanston were sensible. They took their time to think things through. Because they were sensible, they saved money and made plans. Being sensible, they turned to gadgets, chemicals, or self-control.”
“A woman of the period had some three hundred and ninety opportunities to conceive a child. In the slums and the hills they took advantage of as many of them as they might. But around the universities, in the neighborhoods of the well-educated and the well-to-do, what was the score?
“A woman of the time had about three hundred and ninety chances to become pregnant. In the slums and the hills, they took advantage of as many of those chances as they could. But around the universities, in the areas where educated and affluent people lived, what was the situation?
“First, education, until the age of twenty. This left two hundred and ninety-nine opportunities. Then, for perhaps five years, shared work; the car, the mortgage, the furniture, that two salaries would pay off earlier than one. Two hundred and thirty-four opportunities were left. Some of them were seized: a spate of childbearing perhaps would come next. But subtract a good ten years more at the end of the cycle, for the years when a child would be simply too late—too late for fashion, too late for companionship with the first-born. We started with three hundred and ninety opportunities. We have, perhaps, one hundred and forty-four left.
“First, education until the age of twenty. This left two hundred and ninety-nine opportunities. Then, for about five years, shared work; the car, the mortgage, the furniture, which two incomes could pay off faster than one. That left two hundred and thirty-four opportunities. Some of them were taken: maybe a burst of having kids would come next. But subtract a good ten more years at the end of the cycle, for the years when having a child would simply be too late—too late for fashion, too late to bond with the first child. We started with three hundred and ninety opportunities. Now, we have about one hundred and forty-four left.
“Is that the roster complete? No. There is the battle of the budget: No, not right now, not until the summer place is paid for. And more. The visits from the mothers-in-law, the quarterly tax payments, the country-club liaisons and the furtive knives behind the brownstone fronts and what becomes of fertility—they have all been charted. But these are superfluous. The ratio 390:144 points out the inevitable. As three hundred and ninety outweighs one hundred 163and forty-four, so the genes of the slovenly and heedless outweigh the thoughtful and slow to act.
“Is the roster complete? No. There’s the budget battle: No, not right now, not until the summer place is paid off. And more. The visits from the mothers-in-law, the quarterly tax payments, the country club connections, and the hidden knives behind the brownstone fronts and what happens with fertility—they’ve all been noted. But these are unnecessary. The ratio 390:144 points out the inevitable. Just as three hundred and ninety surpasses one hundred and forty-four, the genes of the careless and reckless overpower those of the careful and deliberate.” 163
“We tampered with the inevitable.
“We messed with the inevitable.
“The planet teemed and burst. The starships went forth. The strong, bright, quick ones went out in the ships. Two sorts were left: The strong ones who were not bright, the bright ones who were not strong.
“The planet was full and overflowing. The starships set out. The strong, bright, quick ones departed in the ships. Two types remained: the strong ones who weren't bright, and the bright ones who weren't strong.
“We are the prisoners of the planet. We cannot leave.
“We are the prisoners of the planet. We cannot leave.
“The children—the witless ones outside—can leave. But who would have them?”
“The kids—the clueless ones outside—can go. But who would want them?”
Ross peered into the shifting shadows. “But,” he said, “you are the masters of the planet——”
Ross looked into the shifting shadows. “But,” he said, “you are the masters of the planet——”
“Masters? We are slaves! Fully alive only here where we are born and die. Abstracted and as witless as they when we are among them—well we might be. For each of us, square miles to stand guard over. Our minds roving across the traps we dare not ignore, ready to leap out and straighten these children’s toppling walls of blocks, ready to warn the child that sharp things cut and hot things burn. The blue lights—did you think they were machines?” They were us!
Masters? We are slaves! We’re only truly alive here, where we’re born and where we die. When we’re among them, we’re just as clueless as they are—if that’s even possible. Each of us has our own territory to protect. Our minds wander to the dangers we can’t ignore, poised to jump in and fix these kids’ wobbly towers of blocks, ready to tell the child that sharp things can cut and hot things can burn. The blue lights—did you think they were machines?” They were us!
“You’re torturing yourselves!” Ross exploded. “Let them die.”
“You're just torturing yourselves!” Ross shouted. “Let them die.”
“Let—ten—billion—children—die? We are not such monsters.”
“Let ten billion children die? We’re not that cruel.”
Ross was humbled before their tragedy. Diffidently he spoke of Halsey’s Planet, Ragansworld, Azor, Jones. He warmed to the task and was growing, he thought, eloquent when their smiles left him standing ashamed.
Ross felt humbled by their tragedy. He spoke hesitantly about Halsey’s Planet, Ragansworld, Azor, and Jones. He began to feel more confident and thought he was becoming eloquent when their smiles made him feel ashamed.
“I don’t understand,” he said, almost weeping.
"I don't get it," he said, nearly crying.
The voice corrected him: “You do. But you do not—yet—know that you do. Consider the facts:
The voice corrected him: “You do. But you don’t—yet—realize that you do. Think about the facts:
“Your planet. Sterile and slowly dying.
“Your planet. Barren and slowly fading away.
“The planets you have seen. One sterile because it is imprisoned by ancients, one sterile under an in-driven matriarchal custom, one sterile because all traces of divergence have been wiped out.
“The planets you’ve seen. One barren because it's trapped by ancient forces, one barren due to oppressive matriarchal traditions, one barren because all signs of difference have been erased."
“Earth. Split into an incurable dichotomy—the sterility of brainless health, the sterility of sick intellect.
“Earth. Divided into an unhealable split—the emptiness of mindless wellness, the emptiness of ailing intellect.
“Humanity, then, imprisoned in a thousand sterile tubes, 164cut off each from the other, dying. We feared war, and so we isolated the members with a wall of time. We have found something worse to fear. What if the walls are cracked?”
“Humanity, then, trapped in a thousand lifeless tubes, 164isolated from one another, dying. We were afraid of war, so we separated people with a barrier of time. We’ve discovered something even more terrifying. What if the walls are breaking?”
“Crack the walls? How? Is it too late?”
“Break the walls? How? Is it too late?”
Somehow the image of Helena was before him.
Somehow, Helena's image was in front of him.
“Is it too late?” they gently mocked. “Surely you know. How? Perhaps you will ask her.”
“Is it too late?” they gently teased. “You must know the answer. How? Maybe you should ask her.”
The image of Helena was blushing.
The image of Helena was blushing.
Ross’s heart leaped. “As simple as that?”
Ross's heart raced. "Is it really that easy?"
“For you, yes. For others there will be lives spent over the lathes and milling machines, eyes gone blind in calculating and refining trajectories, daring ones lost screaming in the hearts of stars, or gibbering with hunger and pain as the final madness closes down on them, stranded between galaxies. There will be martyrs to undergo the worst martyrdom of all—which is to say, they will never know of it. They will be unhappy traders and stock-chasers, grinding their lives to smooth dull blanks against the wearying routine so that the daring ones may go forth to the stars. But for you—you have seen the answer.
“For you, yes. For others, there will be lives spent at the lathes and milling machines, eyes going blind while calculating and refining trajectories, while the brave ones are lost, screaming in the hearts of stars, or struggling with hunger and pain as the final madness closes in on them, stranded between galaxies. There will be martyrs who endure the worst kind of martyrdom—which is to say, they will never realize it. They will be unhappy traders and stock-chasers, grinding their lives into smooth, dull blanks against the exhausting routine so that the brave ones can venture out to the stars. But for you—you have seen the answer.”
“Old blood runs thin. Thin blood runs cold. Cold blood dies. Let the walls crack.”
“Old blood is weak. Weak blood is cold. Cold blood dies. Let the walls break.”
There was a murmuring in the shadows that Ross could not hear. Then the voice again, saying a sort of good-by.
There was a whisper in the shadows that Ross couldn't hear. Then the voice came again, saying a kind of goodbye.
“We have had a great deal of experience with children, so we know that they must not be told too much. There is nothing more you need be told. You will go back now——”
“We have a lot of experience with children, so we know that they shouldn’t be given too much information. There’s nothing more you need to know. You will go back now——”
Ross dared interrupt. “But our ship—the others have taken it away——”
Ross dared to interrupt. “But our ship—the others have taken it away—”
Again the soundless laughter. “The ship has not been taken far. Did you think we would leave you stranded here?”
Again the silent laughter. “The ship hasn't gone far. Did you really think we would leave you stuck here?”
Ross peered hard into the shadows. But only the shadows were there, and then he and Jones were in the shadows no longer.
Ross looked intently into the shadows. But only the shadows remained, and then he and Jones were no longer in the shadows.
“Ross!” Helena was hysterical with joy. Even Bernie was stammering and shaking his head incredulously. “Ross, dearest! We thought—And the ship acted all funny, and 165then it landed here and there just wasn’t anybody around, and I couldn’t make it go again——”
“Ross!” Helena was overjoyed. Even Bernie was stuttering and shaking his head in disbelief. “Ross, my dear! We thought—And the ship was acting all strange, and 165then it landed here and there was just nobody around, and I couldn’t get it to go again——”
“It will go now,” Ross promised. It did. They sealed ship; he took the controls; and they hung in space, looking back on a blue-green planet with a single moon.
“It will go now,” Ross promised. It did. They sealed the ship; he took the controls; and they hovered in space, looking back at a blue-green planet with a single moon.
There were questions; but Ross put an end to questions. He said, “We’re going back to Halsey’s Planet. Haarland wanted an answer. We’ve found it; we’ll bring it to him. The F-T-L families have kept their secret too well. No wars between the planets—but stagnation worse than wars. And Haarland’s answer is this: He will be the first of the F-T-L traders. He’ll build F-T-L ships, and he’ll carelessly let their secrets be stolen. We’ll bridge the galaxy with F-T-L transports; and we’ll pack the ships with a galaxy of crews! New genes for old; hybrid vigor for dreary decay!
There were questions, but Ross shut them down. He said, “We’re heading back to Halsey’s Planet. Haarland wanted a solution, and we’ve got it; we’ll deliver it to him. The F-T-L families have guarded their secret too well. No wars between the planets—but stagnation that’s worse than war. And Haarland’s solution is this: He will be the first of the F-T-L traders. He’ll create F-T-L ships and will carelessly allow their secrets to be taken. We’ll connect the galaxy with F-T-L transports, and we’ll fill the ships with a galaxy of crews! New genes for old; hybrid vigor for dull decay!
“Do you see it?” His voice was ringing loud; Helena’s eyes on him were adoring. “Mate Jones to Azor, Halsey’s Planet to Earth. Smash the smooth, declining curve! Cross the strains, and then breed them back. Let mankind become genetically wild again instead of rabbits isolated in their sterile hutches!”
“Do you see it?” His voice echoed loudly; Helena looked at him with admiration. “Mate Jones to Azor, Halsey’s Planet to Earth. Break the smooth, declining curve! Cross the strains, and then breed them back. Let humanity become genetically wild again instead of being like rabbits trapped in their sterile cages!”
Exultantly he set up the combinations for Halsey’s Planet on the Wesley board.
Exhilarated, he arranged the setups for Halsey’s Planet on the Wesley board.
Helena was beside him, proud and close, as he threw in the drive.
Helena was next to him, feeling proud and close, as he accelerated down the driveway.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
The Space Merchants was not only one of the best-reviewed science-fiction novels in 1953, it was one of the most widely reviewed. Favorable notices appeared in journals ranging from Printer’s Ink to science-fiction magazines, from Tide magazine to the great national dailies. That novel firmly established Messrs. Pohl and Kornbluth as a team, although they had collaborated before under pen names and had established reputations singly. Their new novel, Search the Sky, has the same wit, the same passages of genuinely beautiful writing and—what is most important and most characteristic—the same underlying concern for human beings, whether they are on future Madison Avenues or in the outer galaxies.
The Space Merchants was not only one of the best-reviewed science fiction novels in 1953, it was also one of the most widely reviewed. Positive reviews appeared in publications ranging from Printer’s Ink to science fiction magazines, from Tide magazine to major national newspapers. That novel solidified Messrs. Pohl and Kornbluth as a duo, even though they had previously collaborated under pen names and had established their own reputations individually. Their new novel, Look at the sky, features the same wit, the same beautifully written passages, and—most importantly—the same deep concern for humanity, whether it's in future Madison Avenues or in distant galaxies.
This is Mr. Kornbluth’s seventh published novel. Two were written in collaboration with Judith Merril under the pen name “Cyril Judd”; one was the notable Takeoff (Doubleday, 1952); one was not science fiction; one was his last collaborative effort with Mr. Pohl; and his most recent was The Syndic (Doubleday, 1953). Mr. Kornbluth, still under thirty, now lives in an upstate New York farmhouse with his wife and child where he devotes himself to writing.
This is Mr. Kornbluth’s seventh published novel. Two were co-written with Judith Merril under the pen name “Cyril Judd”; one was the well-known Departure (Doubleday, 1952); one wasn’t science fiction; one was his last collaboration with Mr. Pohl; and his most recent work was The Syndic (Doubleday, 1953). Mr. Kornbluth, still under thirty, now lives in a farmhouse in upstate New York with his wife and child, focusing on his writing.
This is Mr. Pohl’s sixth published book. Two of them were reprint collections which he edited and two others were the now-celebrated first and second volumes of Star Science Fiction Stories, collections of new stories published by Ballantine Books. At 34, Mr. Pohl lives in a large old house on the Jersey shore—“five rooms for me, four for my wife and two apiece for the children.” He has three more books forthcoming in 1953: two anthologies and his first solo novel.
This is Mr. Pohl’s sixth published book. Two of them were reprint collections that he edited, and two others were the now-celebrated first and second volumes of Star Sci-Fi Stories, collections of new stories published by Ballantine Books. At 34, Mr. Pohl lives in a large old house on the Jersey shore—“five rooms for me, four for my wife, and two each for the kids.” He has three more books coming out in 1953: two anthologies and his first solo novel.
TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE
Repeated instances of the title in the front of the book have been reduced.
Repeated instances of the title at the beginning of the book have been reduced.
Punctuation has been normalized. Variations in hyphenation have been retained as they were in the original publication. The following assumed printer’s errors were corrected:
Punctuation has been standardized. Variations in hyphenation have been kept as they were in the original publication. The following assumed printer’s errors have been fixed:
look at the stars and breath —> breathe {Page 24}
look at the stars and breathe —> breathe {Page 24}
Halsey City to the ’port —> port {Page 29}
Halsey City to the port —> port {Page 29}
were ready to quit Oldhan —> Oldham {Page 31}
were ready to quit Oldham —> Oldham {Page 31}
short of meccano-toy —> sort {Page 96}
short of meccano-toy —> sort {Page 96}
O.8952, —> 0.8952, {Page 109}
O.8952, —> 0.8952, {Page 109}
Trouble is, he’s too Jonesfearing. —> Jones-fearing {Page 118}
Trouble is, he’s too afraid of Jones. —> Jones-fearing {Page 118}
Download ePUB
If you like this ebook, consider a donation!