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FURTHER CHRONICLES OF AVONLEA
By L. M. Montgomery
Author of "Anne of Green Gables," "Anne of Avonlea," "Anne of the Island," "Chronicles of Avonlea," "Kilmeny of the Orchard," etc. Which have to do with many personalities and events in and about Avonlea, the Home of the Heroine of Green Gables, including tales of Aunt Cynthia, The Materializing of Cecil, David Spencer's Daughter, Jane's Baby, The Failure of Robert Monroe, The Return of Hester, The Little Brown Book of Miss Emily, Sara's Way, The Son of Thyra Carewe, The Education of Betty, The Selflessness of Eunice Carr, The Dream-Child, The Conscience Case of David Bell, Only a Common Fellow, and finally the story of Tannis of the Flats. All related by
Author of "Anne of Green Gables," "Anne of Avonlea," "Anne of the Island," "Chronicles of Avonlea," "Kilmeny of the Orchard," and more. These works feature various characters and events in and around Avonlea, the home of the heroine Anne, including stories about Aunt Cynthia, The Materializing of Cecil, David Spencer's Daughter, Jane's Baby, The Failure of Robert Monroe, The Return of Hester, The Little Brown Book of Miss Emily, Sara's Way, The Son of Thyra Carewe, The Education of Betty, The Selflessness of Eunice Carr, The Dream-Child, The Conscience Case of David Bell, Only a Common Fellow, and finally the story of Tannis of the Flats. All connected by
L. M. MONTGOMERY
CONTENTS
TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
It is no exaggeration to say that what Longfellow did for Acadia, Miss Montgomery has done for Prince Edward Island. More than a million readers, young people as well as their parents and uncles and aunts, possess in the picture-galleries of their memories the exquisite landscapes of Avonlea, limned with as poetic a pencil as Longfellow wielded when he told the ever-moving story of Grand Pre.
It’s no exaggeration to say that what Longfellow did for Acadia, Miss Montgomery has done for Prince Edward Island. Over a million readers, including young people along with their parents and relatives, hold in their memories the beautiful landscapes of Avonlea, portrayed with as much artistry as Longfellow used when he shared the timeless tale of Grand Pre.
Only genius of the first water has the ability to conjure up such a character as Anne Shirley, the heroine of Miss Montgomery's first novel, "Anne of Green Gables," and to surround her with people so distinctive, so real, so true to psychology. Anne is
Only the highest genius can create a character like Anne Shirley, the heroine of Miss Montgomery's first novel, "Anne of Green Gables," and surround her with people who are so unique, so realistic, and so true to human nature. Anne is
as lovable a child as lives in all fiction. Natasha in Count Tolstoi's great novel, "War and Peace," dances into our ken, with something of the same buoyancy and naturalness; but into what a commonplace young woman she develops! Anne, whether as the gay little orphan in her conquest of the master and mistress of Green Gables, or as the maturing and self-forgetful maiden of Avonlea, keeps up to concert-pitch in her charm and her winsomeness. There is nothing in her to disappoint hope or imagination.
as lovable a child as exists in all fiction. Natasha in Tolstoy's great novel, "War and Peace," dances into our view with a similar buoyancy and naturalness; but what a dull young woman she turns into! Anne, whether as the cheerful little orphan winning over the master and mistress of Green Gables, or as the growing and selfless young woman of Avonlea, maintains her charm and appeal without fail. There's nothing in her to let down our hopes or imagination.
A part of the power of Miss Montgomery—and the largest part—is due to her skill in compounding humor and pathos. The humor is honest and golden; it never wearies the reader; the pathos is never sentimentalized, never degenerates into bathos, is never morbid. This combination holds throughout all her works, longer or shorter, and is particularly manifest in the present collection of fifteen short stories, which, together with those in the first volume of the Chronicles of Avonlea, present a series of piquant and fascinating pictures of life in Prince Edward Island.
A big part of Miss Montgomery's appeal—probably the biggest—comes from her ability to blend humor and emotion. Her humor is genuine and bright; it never tires the reader, while the emotion is never overly sentimental, doesn’t turn cheesy, and isn’t dark. This mix is consistent throughout all her works, whether they’re long or short, and it’s especially clear in this collection of fifteen short stories, which, along with those in the first volume of the Chronicles of Avonlea, offers a series of engaging and captivating glimpses of life in Prince Edward Island.
The humor is shown not only in the presentation of quaint and unique characters, but also in the words which fall from their mouths. Aunt Cynthia "always gave you the impression of a full-rigged ship coming gallantly on before a favorable wind;" no further description is needed—only one such personage could be found in Avonlea. You would recognize her at sight. Ismay Meade's disposition is summed up when we are told that she is "good at having presentiments—after things happen." What cleverer embodiment of innate obstinacy than in Isabella Spencer—"a wisp of a woman who looked as if a breath would sway her but was so set in her ways that a tornado would hardly have caused her to swerve an inch from her chosen path;" or than in Mrs. Eben Andrews (in "Sara's Way") who "looked like a woman whose opinions were always very decided and warranted to wear!"
The humor comes through not just in the quirky and unique characters, but also in the things they say. Aunt Cynthia "always gave you the impression of a full-rigged ship coming gallantly on before a favorable wind;" no further description is needed—there's only one person like her in Avonlea. You'd recognize her immediately. Ismay Meade's personality is summed up when we learn she is "good at having premonitions—after things happen." What better example of natural stubbornness could there be than Isabella Spencer—"a wisp of a woman who looked as if a breath would sway her but was so set in her ways that a tornado would hardly have made her swerve an inch from her chosen path;" or Mrs. Eben Andrews (in "Sara's Way") who "looked like a woman whose opinions were always very decided and warranted to wear!"
This gift of characterization in a few words is lavished also on material objects, as, for instance; what more is needed to describe the forlornness of the home from which Anne was rescued than the statement that even the trees around it "looked like orphans"?
This ability to characterize in just a few words is also applied to physical objects. For example, what more do you need to convey the sadness of the home from which Anne was rescued than to say that even the trees around it "looked like orphans"?
The poetic touch, too, never fails in the right place and is never too frequently introduced in her descriptions. They throw a glamor over that Northern land which otherwise you might imagine as rather cold and barren. What charming Springs they must have there! One sees all the fruit-trees clad in bridal garments of pink and white; and what a translucent sky smiles down on the ponds and the reaches of bay and cove!
The poetic touch always hits just right and isn’t overused in her descriptions. They add a charm to that Northern land, which you might otherwise think of as pretty cold and barren. What lovely Springs they must have there! You can picture all the fruit trees dressed in beautiful pink and white; and what a clear sky smiles down on the ponds and the stretches of bay and cove!
"The Eastern sky was a great arc of crystal, smitten through with auroral crimsonings."
"The eastern sky was a huge arch of clear light, streaked with glowing reds of dawn."
"She was as slim and lithe as a young white-stemmed birch-tree; her hair was like a soft dusky cloud, and her eyes were as blue as Avonlea Harbor in a fair twilight, when all the sky is a-bloom over it."
"She was as slender and graceful as a young white-stemmed birch tree; her hair was like a soft, dusky cloud, and her eyes were as blue as Avonlea Harbor during a beautiful twilight, when the whole sky is in bloom above it."
Sentiment with a humorous touch to it prevails in the first two stories of the present book. The one relates to the disappearance of a valuable white Persian cat with a blue spot in its tail. "Fatima" is like the apple of her eye to the rich old aunt who leaves her with two nieces, with a stern injunction not to let her out of the house. Of course both Sue and Ismay detest cats; Ismay hates them, Sue loathes them; but Aunt Cynthia's favor is worth preserving. You become as much interested in Fatima's fate as if she were your own pet, and the climax is no less unexpected than it is natural, especially when it is made also the last act of a pretty comedy of love.
Sentiment mixed with humor shines through in the first two stories of this book. One story revolves around the disappearance of a valuable white Persian cat with a blue spot on its tail. "Fatima" is treasured by her wealthy old aunt, who leaves her in the care of two nieces, sternly warning them not to let her out of the house. Naturally, both Sue and Ismay can't stand cats; Ismay hates them, and Sue loathes them. However, Aunt Cynthia's approval is something they want to keep. You become as invested in Fatima's fate as if she were your own pet, and the ending is just as surprising as it is fitting, particularly as it also serves as the conclusion to a charming love story.
Miss Montgomery delights in depicting the romantic episodes hidden in the hearts of elderly spinsters as, for instance, in the case of Charlotte Holmes, whose maid Nancy would have sent for the doctor and subjected her to a porous plaster while waiting for him, had she known that up stairs there was a note-book full of original poems. Rather than bear the stigma of never having had a love-affair, this sentimental lady invents one to tell her mocking young friends. The dramatic and unexpected denouement is delightful fun.
Miss Montgomery loves to capture the romantic stories tucked away in the hearts of older women, like in the case of Charlotte Holmes. If her maid Nancy had known that there was a notebook upstairs filled with original poems, she would have called for the doctor and made Charlotte wear a medicated plaster while waiting for him. To avoid the embarrassment of never having had a romance, this sentimental woman creates a story to share with her teasing young friends. The dramatic and surprising ending is a lot of fun.
Another note-book reveals a deeper romance in the case of Miss Emily; this is related by Anne of Green Gables, who once or twice flashes across the scene, though for the most part her friends and neighbors at White Sands or Newbridge or Grafton as well as at Avonlea are the persons involved.
Another notebook reveals a deeper romance concerning Miss Emily; this is recounted by Anne of Green Gables, who occasionally appears in the story, although for the most part, her friends and neighbors at White Sands, Newbridge, Grafton, and Avonlea are the ones involved.
In one story, the last, "Tannis of the Flats," the secret of Elinor Blair's spinsterhood is revealed in an episode which carries the reader from Avonlea to Saskatchewan and shows the unselfish devotion of a half-breed Indian girl. The story is both poignant and dramatic. Its one touch of humor is where Jerome Carey curses his fate in being compelled to live in that desolate land in "the picturesque language permissible in the far Northwest."
In the last story, "Tannis of the Flats," we learn the reason behind Elinor Blair's single life in an episode that takes the reader from Avonlea to Saskatchewan and highlights the selfless dedication of a half-breed Indigenous girl. The story is both moving and intense. The only humorous moment comes when Jerome Carey laments his fate of having to live in that barren land using "the picturesque language allowed in the far Northwest."
Self-sacrifice, as the real basis of happiness, is a favorite theme in Miss Montgomery's fiction. It is raised to the nth power in the story entitled, "In Her Selfless Mood," where an ugly, misshapen girl devotes her life and renounces marriage for the sake of looking after her weak and selfish half-brother. The same spirit is found in "Only a Common Fellow," who is haloed with a certain splendor by renouncing the girl he was to marry in favor of his old rival, supposed to have been killed in France, but happily delivered from that tragic fate.
Self-sacrifice, which is the real foundation of happiness, is a popular theme in Miss Montgomery's stories. It's taken to the extreme in the tale titled, "In Her Selfless Mood," where an unattractive, awkward girl dedicates her life and gives up marriage to take care of her weak and selfish half-brother. The same idea appears in "Only a Common Fellow," where the main character is somewhat glorified by giving up the girl he was supposed to marry for the sake of his old rival, who was thought to have died in France but has fortunately escaped that tragic fate.
Miss Montgomery loves to introduce a little child or a baby as a solvent of old feuds or domestic quarrels. In "The Dream Child," a foundling boy, drifting in through a storm in a dory, saves a heart-broken mother from insanity. In "Jane's Baby," a baby-cousin brings reconciliation between the two sisters, Rosetta and Carlotta, who had not spoken for twenty years because "the slack-twisted" Jacob married the younger of the two.
Miss Montgomery enjoys introducing a child or a baby as a way to resolve old conflicts or family disputes. In "The Dream Child," a little boy, found drifting through a storm in a small boat, saves a desperate mother from losing her mind. In "Jane's Baby," a baby cousin helps bring peace between two sisters, Rosetta and Carlotta, who hadn't spoken for twenty years because "the slack-twisted" Jacob married the younger sister.
Happiness generally lights up the end of her stories, however tragic they may set out to be. In "The Son of His Mother," Thyra is a stern woman, as "immovable as a stone image." She had only one son, whom she worshipped; "she never wanted a daughter, but she pitied and despised all sonless women." She demanded absolute obedience from Chester—not only obedience, but also utter affection, and she hated his dog because the boy loved him: "She could not share her love even with a dumb brute." When Chester falls in love, she is relentless toward the beautiful young girl and forces Chester to give her up. But a terrible sorrow brings the old woman and the young girl into sympathy, and unspeakable joy is born of the trial.
Happiness usually brightens the end of her stories, no matter how tragic they might start out. In "The Son of His Mother," Thyra is a stern woman, as “unyielding as a stone statue.” She had only one son, whom she adored; "she never wanted a daughter, but she felt pity and contempt for all women without sons." She insisted on complete obedience from Chester—not just obedience, but also total affection, and she loathed his dog because the boy cared for it: "She could not share her love even with a dumb animal." When Chester falls in love, she is harsh towards the beautiful young woman and forces Chester to break up with her. But a great sorrow brings the old woman and the young woman closer, and unimaginable joy emerges from their ordeal.
Happiness also comes to "The Brother who Failed." The Monroes had all been successful in the eyes of the world except Robert: one is a millionaire, another a college president, another a famous singer. Robert overhears the old aunt, Isabel, call him a total failure, but, at the family dinner, one after another stands up and tells how Robert's quiet influence and unselfish aid had started them in their brilliant careers, and the old aunt, wiping the tears from her eyes, exclaims: "I guess there's a kind of failure that's the best success."
Happiness also comes to "The Brother who Failed." The Monroes had all been successful in the eyes of the world except for Robert: one is a millionaire, another is a college president, and another is a famous singer. Robert overhears old Aunt Isabel calling him a total failure, but at the family dinner, one by one, they stand up and share how Robert's quiet influence and selfless support helped them kickstart their amazing careers. The old aunt, wiping tears from her eyes, exclaims, "I guess there's a kind of failure that's the best success."
In one story there is an element of the supernatural, when Hester, the hard older sister, comes between Margaret and her lover and, dying, makes her promise never to become Hugh Blair's wife, but she comes back and unites them. In this, Margaret, just like the delightful Anne, lives up to the dictum that "nothing matters in all God's universe except love." The story of the revival at Avonlea has also a good moral.
In one story, there's a supernatural element when Hester, the tough older sister, comes between Margaret and her lover. On her deathbed, she makes Margaret promise never to marry Hugh Blair, but then she returns and brings them together. In this story, Margaret, just like the lovely Anne, embodies the belief that "nothing matters in all God's universe except love." The story of the revival at Avonlea also carries a positive moral.
There is something in these continued Chronicles of Avonlea, like the delicate art which has made "Cranford" a classic: the characters are so homely and homelike and yet tinged with beautiful romance! You feel that you are made familiar with a real town and its real inhabitants; you learn to love them and sympathize with them. Further Chronicles of Avonlea is a book to read; and to know.
There’s something about these ongoing Chronicles of Avonlea, similar to the fine art that turned "Cranford" into a classic: the characters feel so relatable and warm, yet they have a touch of lovely romance! You really get to know a real town and its genuine people; you come to love them and empathize with them. Further Chronicles of Avonlea is a book worth reading and knowing.
NATHAN HASKELL DOLE.
Nate Haskell Dole.
FURTHER CHRONICLES OF AVONLEA
I. AUNT CYNTHIA'S PERSIAN CAT
Max always blesses the animal when it is referred to; and I don't deny that things have worked together for good after all. But when I think of the anguish of mind which Ismay and I underwent on account of that abominable cat, it is not a blessing that arises uppermost in my thoughts.
Max always gives a blessing to the animal when it's mentioned; and I won't deny that everything has turned out for the best after all. But when I think about the mental anguish that Ismay and I went through because of that awful cat, it's not a blessing that comes to mind first.
I never was fond of cats, although I admit they are well enough in their place, and I can worry along comfortably with a nice, matronly old tabby who can take care of herself and be of some use in the world. As for Ismay, she hates cats and always did.
I was never really into cats, but I have to say they’re fine in their own way, and I can get along just fine with a nice, motherly old tabby who knows how to take care of herself and is useful. As for Ismay, she hates cats and always has.
But Aunt Cynthia, who adored them, never could bring herself to understand that any one could possibly dislike them. She firmly believed that Ismay and I really liked cats deep down in our hearts, but that, owing to some perverse twist in our moral natures, we would not own up to it, but willfully persisted in declaring we didn't.
But Aunt Cynthia, who loved them, could never understand how anyone could dislike them. She truly believed that Ismay and I actually liked cats deep down but, due to some strange flaw in our moral characters, we wouldn't admit it and stubbornly insisted that we didn't.
Of all cats I loathed that white Persian cat of Aunt Cynthia's. And, indeed, as we always suspected and finally proved, Aunt herself looked upon the creature with more pride than affection. She would have taken ten times the comfort in a good, common puss that she did in that spoiled beauty. But a Persian cat with a recorded pedigree and a market value of one hundred dollars tickled Aunt Cynthia's pride of possession to such an extent that she deluded herself into believing that the animal was really the apple of her eye.
Of all the cats, I hated Aunt Cynthia's white Persian the most. And, as we always suspected and eventually proved, Aunt Cynthia viewed the cat with more pride than genuine love. She would have found ten times the joy in a regular, everyday cat than she did in that pampered beauty. But a Persian cat with a documented pedigree and a market value of one hundred dollars boosted Aunt Cynthia's sense of ownership so much that she convinced herself the animal was truly her favorite.
It had been presented to her when a kitten by a missionary nephew who had brought it all the way home from Persia; and for the next three years Aunt Cynthia's household existed to wait on that cat, hand and foot. It was snow-white, with a bluish-gray spot on the tip of its tail; and it was blue-eyed and deaf and delicate. Aunt Cynthia was always worrying lest it should take cold and die. Ismay and I used to wish that it would—we were so tired of hearing about it and its whims. But we did not say so to Aunt Cynthia. She would probably never have spoken to us again and there was no wisdom in offending Aunt Cynthia. When you have an unencumbered aunt, with a fat bank account, it is just as well to keep on good terms with her, if you can. Besides, we really liked Aunt Cynthia very much—at times. Aunt Cynthia was one of those rather exasperating people who nag at and find fault with you until you think you are justified in hating them, and who then turn round and do something so really nice and kind for you that you feel as if you were compelled to love them dutifully instead.
It had been given to her as a kitten by a missionary nephew who had brought it all the way back from Persia; and for the next three years, Aunt Cynthia's household existed to wait on that cat, hand and foot. It was snow-white, with a bluish-gray spot on the tip of its tail; and it had blue eyes and was deaf and delicate. Aunt Cynthia constantly worried that it would catch a cold and die. Ismay and I often wished it would—we were so tired of hearing about it and its quirks. But we never said that to Aunt Cynthia. She probably wouldn’t have spoken to us again, and there was no point in upsetting her. When you have a free-spirited aunt with a generous bank account, it’s best to stay on her good side, if possible. Besides, we really liked Aunt Cynthia a lot—at times. Aunt Cynthia was one of those somewhat annoying people who nag you and find fault until you feel justified in disliking them, and then they turn around and do something genuinely nice and kind for you, making you feel obligated to love them, instead.
So we listened meekly when she discoursed on Fatima—the cat's name was Fatima—and, if it was wicked of us to wish for the latter's decease, we were well punished for it later on.
So we listened quietly when she talked about Fatima—the cat's name was Fatima—and if it was wrong of us to hope for the cat's death, we got our comeuppance later on.
One day, in November, Aunt Cynthia came sailing out to Spencervale. She really came in a phaeton, drawn by a fat gray pony, but somehow Aunt Cynthia always gave you the impression of a full rigged ship coming gallantly on before a favorable wind.
One day in November, Aunt Cynthia arrived in Spencervale. She actually came in a carriage pulled by a plump gray pony, but somehow Aunt Cynthia always made you feel like a fully rigged ship bravely sailing in a good breeze.
That was a Jonah day for us all through. Everything had gone wrong. Ismay had spilled grease on her velvet coat, and the fit of the new blouse I was making was hopelessly askew, and the kitchen stove smoked and the bread was sour. Moreover, Huldah Jane Keyson, our tried and trusty old family nurse and cook and general "boss," had what she called the "realagy" in her shoulder; and, though Huldah Jane is as good an old creature as ever lived, when she has the "realagy" other people who are in the house want to get out of it and, if they can't, feel about as comfortable as St. Lawrence on his gridiron.
That was a Jonah day for all of us. Everything went wrong. Ismay spilled grease on her velvet coat, and the fit of the new blouse I was making was completely off, the kitchen stove was smoking, and the bread turned out sour. Plus, Huldah Jane Keyson, our reliable old family nurse, cook, and general "boss," had what she called the "realagy" in her shoulder; and even though Huldah Jane is one of the best people you could meet, when she has the "realagy," everyone else in the house just wants to escape, and if they can't, they feel about as comfortable as St. Lawrence on his gridiron.
And on top of this came Aunt Cynthia's call and request.
And then Aunt Cynthia called and made a request.
"Dear me," said Aunt Cynthia, sniffing, "don't I smell smoke? You girls must manage your range very badly. Mine never smokes. But it is no more than one might expect when two girls try to keep house without a man about the place."
"Goodness," said Aunt Cynthia, sniffing, "don't I smell smoke? You girls must be really careless with your stove. Mine doesn’t smoke at all. But I guess that’s what you’d expect when two girls try to run a household without a man around."
"We get along very well without a man about the place," I said loftily. Max hadn't been in for four whole days and, though nobody wanted to see him particularly, I couldn't help wondering why. "Men are nuisances."
"We manage just fine without a man around," I said proudly. Max hadn't been around for four full days and, even though nobody was particularly eager to see him, I couldn't help but wonder why. "Men can be annoying."
"I dare say you would like to pretend you think so," said Aunt Cynthia, aggravatingly. "But no woman ever does really think so, you know. I imagine that pretty Anne Shirley, who is visiting Ella Kimball, doesn't. I saw her and Dr. Irving out walking this afternoon, looking very well satisfied with themselves. If you dilly-dally much longer, Sue, you will let Max slip through your fingers yet."
"I bet you want to act like you believe that," Aunt Cynthia said annoyingingly. "But no woman actually thinks that, you know. I assume that pretty Anne Shirley, who is visiting Ella Kimball, doesn't. I saw her and Dr. Irving out walking this afternoon, looking really pleased with themselves. If you keep dragging your feet, Sue, you’re going to let Max slip away from you."
That was a tactful thing to say to ME, who had refused Max Irving so often that I had lost count. I was furious, and so I smiled most sweetly on my maddening aunt.
That was a clever thing to say to me, considering I've turned down Max Irving so many times that I’ve lost track. I was really annoyed, but I smiled sweetly at my infuriating aunt.
"Dear Aunt, how amusing of you," I said, smoothly. "You talk as if I wanted Max."
"Dear Aunt, how funny of you," I said, casually. "You act like I wanted Max."
"So you do," said Aunt Cynthia.
"So you do," Aunt Cynthia said.
"If so, why should I have refused him time and again?" I asked, smilingly. Right well Aunt Cynthia knew I had. Max always told her.
"If that's the case, why did I keep refusing him?" I asked with a smile. Aunt Cynthia knew very well that I had. Max always told her.
"Goodness alone knows why," said Aunt Cynthia, "but you may do it once too often and find yourself taken at your word. There is something very fascinating about this Anne Shirley."
"Goodness only knows why," said Aunt Cynthia, "but you might do it one too many times and end up being taken literally. There’s something really intriguing about this Anne Shirley."
"Indeed there is," I assented. "She has the loveliest eyes I ever saw. She would be just the wife for Max, and I hope he will marry her."
"Yeah, there is," I agreed. "She has the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. She would be the perfect wife for Max, and I really hope he marries her."
"Humph," said Aunt Cynthia. "Well, I won't entice you into telling any more fibs. And I didn't drive out here to-day in all this wind to talk sense into you concerning Max. I'm going to Halifax for two months and I want you to take charge of Fatima for me, while I am away."
"Humph," said Aunt Cynthia. "Well, I'm not going to get you to tell any more lies. And I didn't come out here today in all this wind just to reason with you about Max. I'm going to Halifax for two months, and I want you to take care of Fatima for me while I'm gone."
"Fatima!" I exclaimed.
"Fatima!" I said.
"Yes. I don't dare to trust her with the servants. Mind you always warm her milk before you give it to her, and don't on any account let her run out of doors."
"Yes. I don’t trust her with the staff. Always remember to warm her milk before you give it to her, and under no circumstances let her go outside."
I looked at Ismay and Ismay looked at me. We knew we were in for it. To refuse would mortally offend Aunt Cynthia. Besides, if I betrayed any unwillingness, Aunt Cynthia would be sure to put it down to grumpiness over what she had said about Max, and rub it in for years. But I ventured to ask, "What if anything happens to her while you are away?"
I looked at Ismay and Ismay looked at me. We both knew we were in trouble. Refusing would seriously upset Aunt Cynthia. Besides, if I showed any hesitation, Aunt Cynthia would definitely take it as me being grumpy about what she said about Max and would never let me forget it. So, I dared to ask, "What if something happens to her while you’re away?"
"It is to prevent that, I'm leaving her with you," said Aunt Cynthia. "You simply must not let anything happen to her. It will do you good to have a little responsibility. And you will have a chance to find out what an adorable creature Fatima really is. Well, that is all settled. I'll send Fatima out to-morrow."
"It’s to prevent that, I’m leaving her with you," said Aunt Cynthia. "You just can’t let anything happen to her. It’ll be good for you to have a little responsibility. Plus, you’ll get to see what an adorable person Fatima really is. Well, that’s all taken care of. I’ll send Fatima out tomorrow."
"You can take care of that horrid Fatima beast yourself," said Ismay, when the door closed behind Aunt Cynthia. "I won't touch her with a yard-stick. You had no business to say we'd take her."
"You can deal with that awful Fatima beast yourself," Ismay said as the door shut behind Aunt Cynthia. "I won't go near her with a ten-foot pole. You had no right to say we’d take her."
"Did I say we would take her?" I demanded, crossly. "Aunt Cynthia took our consent for granted. And you know, as well as I do, we couldn't have refused. So what is the use of being grouchy?"
"Did I say we would take her?" I asked, annoyed. "Aunt Cynthia assumed we were okay with it. And you know, just like I do, we couldn't have said no. So what's the point of being grumpy?"
"If anything happens to her Aunt Cynthia will hold us responsible," said Ismay darkly.
"If anything happens to her, Aunt Cynthia will blame us," Ismay said ominously.
"Do you think Anne Shirley is really engaged to Gilbert Blythe?" I asked curiously.
"Do you think Anne Shirley is actually engaged to Gilbert Blythe?" I asked, curious.
"I've heard that she was," said Ismay, absently. "Does she eat anything but milk? Will it do to give her mice?"
"I've heard that she was," Ismay said, lost in thought. "Does she eat anything besides milk? Is it okay to give her mice?"
"Oh, I guess so. But do you think Max has really fallen in love with her?"
"Oh, I guess so. But do you think Max is actually in love with her?"
"I dare say. What a relief it will be for you if he has."
"I must say. It will be a big relief for you if he has."
"Oh, of course," I said, frostily. "Anne Shirley or Anne Anybody Else, is perfectly welcome to Max if she wants him. I certainly do not. Ismay Meade, if that stove doesn't stop smoking I shall fly into bits. This is a detestable day. I hate that creature!"
"Oh, of course," I said, coldly. "Anne Shirley or Anne Anyone Else is totally welcome to Max if she wants him. I definitely do not. Ismay Meade, if that stove doesn't stop smoking, I'm going to lose it. This day is awful. I can't stand that person!"
"Oh, you shouldn't talk like that, when you don't even know her," protested Ismay. "Every one says Anne Shirley is lovely—"
"Oh, you shouldn't talk like that when you don't even know her," Ismay protested. "Everyone says Anne Shirley is wonderful—"
"I was talking about Fatima," I cried in a rage.
"I was talking about Fatima," I shouted in anger.
"Oh!" said Ismay.
"Oh!" Ismay said.
Ismay is stupid at times. I thought the way she said "Oh" was inexcusably stupid.
Ismay can be really clueless sometimes. I thought the way she said "Oh" was completely ridiculous.
Fatima arrived the next day. Max brought her out in a covered basket, lined with padded crimson satin. Max likes cats and Aunt Cynthia. He explained how we were to treat Fatima and when Ismay had gone out of the room—Ismay always went out of the room when she knew I particularly wanted her to remain—he proposed to me again. Of course I said no, as usual, but I was rather pleased. Max had been proposing to me about every two months for two years. Sometimes, as in this case, he went three months, and then I always wondered why. I concluded that he could not be really interested in Anne Shirley, and I was relieved. I didn't want to marry Max but it was pleasant and convenient to have him around, and we would miss him dreadfully if any other girl snapped him up. He was so useful and always willing to do anything for us—nail a shingle on the roof, drive us to town, put down carpets—in short, a very present help in all our troubles.
Fatima showed up the next day. Max brought her in a covered basket, lined with soft crimson satin. Max likes cats and Aunt Cynthia. He explained how we should treat Fatima, and when Ismay left the room—she always did when she knew I really wanted her to stay—he proposed to me again. Of course, I said no, as usual, but I felt somewhat pleased. Max had been proposing to me roughly every couple of months for two years. Sometimes, like this time, he waited three months, and I always wondered why. I figured he couldn’t really be into Anne Shirley, and that made me feel better. I didn’t want to marry Max, but it was nice and convenient to have him around, and we would really miss him if some other girl swooped in. He was super helpful and always willing to do anything for us—nail shingles on the roof, drive us to town, lay down carpets—in short, a very present help in all our troubles.
So I just beamed on him when I said no. Max began counting on his fingers. When he got as far as eight he shook his head and began over again.
So I just smiled at him when I said no. Max started counting on his fingers. When he got to eight, he shook his head and started over again.
"What is it?" I asked.
"What's that?" I asked.
"I'm trying to count up how many times I have proposed to you," he said. "But I can't remember whether I asked you to marry me that day we dug up the garden or not. If I did it makes—"
"I'm trying to remember how many times I've asked you to marry me," he said. "But I can't recall if I popped the question that day we dug up the garden or not. If I did, it makes—"
"No, you didn't," I interrupted.
"No, you didn't," I cut in.
"Well, that makes it eleven," said Max reflectively. "Pretty near the limit, isn't it? My manly pride will not allow me to propose to the same girl more than twelve times. So the next time will be the last, Sue darling."
"Well, that makes it eleven," Max said thoughtfully. "That's almost the limit, isn’t it? My pride won’t let me propose to the same girl more than twelve times. So the next time will be the last, Sue darling."
"Oh," I said, a trifle flatly. I forgot to resent his calling me darling. I wondered if things wouldn't be rather dull when Max gave up proposing to me. It was the only excitement I had. But of course it would be best—and he couldn't go on at it forever, so, by the way of gracefully dismissing the subject, I asked him what Miss Shirley was like.
"Oh," I said, a bit flatly. I forgot to be annoyed by him calling me darling. I wondered if things would be kind of boring when Max stopped proposing to me. It was the only excitement I had. But of course, it would be for the best—and he couldn't keep doing it forever, so to gracefully change the subject, I asked him what Miss Shirley was like.
"Very sweet girl," said Max. "You know I always admired those gray-eyed girls with that splendid Titian hair."
"Such a sweet girl," said Max. "You know I’ve always admired those girls with gray eyes and that beautiful Titian hair."
I am dark, with brown eyes. Just then I detested Max. I got up and said I was going to get some milk for Fatima.
I have dark skin and brown eyes. At that moment, I really disliked Max. I stood up and said I was going to get some milk for Fatima.
I found Ismay in a rage in the kitchen. She had been up in the garret, and a mouse had run across her foot. Mice always get on Ismay's nerves.
I found Ismay fuming in the kitchen. She had been up in the attic, and a mouse had dashed across her foot. Mice always irritate Ismay.
"We need a cat badly enough," she fumed, "but not a useless, pampered thing, like Fatima. That garret is literally swarming with mice. You'll not catch me going up there again."
"We really need a cat," she fumed, "but not a useless, spoiled one like Fatima. That attic is literally crawling with mice. You won't catch me going up there again."
Fatima did not prove such a nuisance as we had feared. Huldah Jane liked her, and Ismay, in spite of her declaration that she would have nothing to do with her, looked after her comfort scrupulously. She even used to get up in the middle of the night and go out to see if Fatima was warm. Max came in every day and, being around, gave us good advice.
Fatima wasn’t as much of a bother as we had worried she might be. Huldah Jane liked her, and Ismay, despite saying she wanted nothing to do with her, took great care to make sure she was comfortable. She even got up in the middle of the night to check if Fatima was warm. Max came by every day and, being around, offered us some good advice.
Then one day, about three weeks after Aunt Cynthia's departure, Fatima disappeared—just simply disappeared as if she had been dissolved into thin air. We left her one afternoon, curled up asleep in her basket by the fire, under Huldah Jane's eye, while we went out to make a call. When we came home Fatima was gone.
Then one day, about three weeks after Aunt Cynthia left, Fatima just vanished—just like that, as if she had disappeared into thin air. We left her one afternoon, curled up asleep in her basket by the fire, under Huldah Jane's watch, while we went out to make a visit. When we got back home, Fatima was gone.
Huldah Jane wept and was as one whom the gods had made mad. She vowed that she had never let Fatima out of her sight the whole time, save once for three minutes when she ran up to the garret for some summer savory. When she came back the kitchen door had blown open and Fatima had vanished.
Huldah Jane cried and seemed like someone the gods had driven insane. She promised that she had never taken her eyes off Fatima the entire time, except for once when she dashed up to the attic for some summer savory. When she returned, the kitchen door had swung open and Fatima was gone.
Ismay and I were frantic. We ran about the garden and through the out-houses, and the woods behind the house, like wild creatures, calling Fatima, but in vain. Then Ismay sat down on the front doorsteps and cried.
Ismay and I were panicking. We rushed around the garden, through the outbuildings, and into the woods behind the house, like wild animals, calling for Fatima, but it was no use. Then Ismay sat down on the front steps and cried.
"She has got out and she'll catch her death of cold and Aunt Cynthia will never forgive us."
"She’s gone outside, and she’s going to catch a bad cold, and Aunt Cynthia will never forgive us."
"I'm going for Max," I declared. So I did, through the spruce woods and over the field as fast as my feet could carry me, thanking my stars that there was a Max to go to in such a predicament.
"I'm going for Max," I said. So I did, through the spruce woods and over the field as fast as my feet could carry me, grateful that there was a Max to go to in such a situation.
Max came over and we had another search, but without result. Days passed, but we did not find Fatima. I would certainly have gone crazy had it not been for Max. He was worth his weight in gold during the awful week that followed. We did not dare advertise, lest Aunt Cynthia should see it; but we inquired far and wide for a white Persian cat with a blue spot on its tail, and offered a reward for it; but nobody had seen it, although people kept coming to the house, night and day, with every kind of a cat in baskets, wanting to know if it was the one we had lost.
Max came over and we searched again, but we didn’t find anything. Days went by, and we still couldn't locate Fatima. I would have definitely lost my mind if it weren't for Max. He was incredibly helpful during that terrible week that followed. We didn’t want to put up any ads, fearing Aunt Cynthia would see them, but we spread the word far and wide about a white Persian cat with a blue spot on its tail and offered a reward for her. Still, nobody had seen her, even though people kept showing up at the house, day and night, with all sorts of cats in baskets, asking if any of them were the one we lost.
"We shall never see Fatima again," I said hopelessly to Max and Ismay one afternoon. I had just turned away an old woman with a big, yellow tommy which she insisted must be ours—"cause it kem to our place, mem, a-yowling fearful, mem, and it don't belong to nobody not down Grafton way, mem."
"We're never going to see Fatima again," I said in despair to Max and Ismay one afternoon. I had just turned away an old woman with a big, yellow tomcat that she insisted was ours—"because it came to our place, ma'am, yowling like crazy, ma'am, and it doesn't belong to anyone down Grafton way, ma'am."
"I'm afraid you won't," said Max. "She must have perished from exposure long ere this."
"I'm afraid you won't," said Max. "She must have died from exposure a long time ago."
"Aunt Cynthia will never forgive us," said Ismay, dismally. "I had a presentiment of trouble the moment that cat came to this house."
"Aunt Cynthia is never going to forgive us," Ismay said gloomily. "I had a bad feeling about this the moment that cat showed up at our house."
We had never heard of this presentiment before, but Ismay is good at having presentiments—after things happen.
We had never heard of this feeling before, but Ismay is great at having feelings about things—after they happen.
"What shall we do?" I demanded, helplessly. "Max, can't you find some way out of this scrape for us?"
"What are we going to do?" I asked, feeling helpless. "Max, can't you figure out a way to get us out of this mess?"
"Advertise in the Charlottetown papers for a white Persian cat," suggested Max. "Some one may have one for sale. If so, you must buy it, and palm it off on your good Aunt as Fatima. She's very short-sighted, so it will be quite possible."
"Place an ad in the Charlottetown papers for a white Persian cat," Max suggested. "Someone might be selling one. If that’s the case, you should buy it and pass it off to your sweet Aunt as Fatima. She's really short-sighted, so it should work out fine."
"But Fatima has a blue spot on her tail," I said.
"But Fatima has a blue spot on her tail," I said.
"You must advertise for a cat with a blue spot on its tail," said Max.
"You need to look for a cat with a blue spot on its tail," Max said.
"It will cost a pretty penny," said Ismay dolefully. "Fatima was valued at one hundred dollars."
"It'll cost a lot," Ismay said sadly. "Fatima was worth one hundred dollars."
"We must take the money we have been saving for our new furs," I said sorrowfully. "There is no other way out of it. It will cost us a good deal more if we lose Aunt Cynthia's favor. She is quite capable of believing that we have made away with Fatima deliberately and with malice aforethought."
"We have to use the money we've saved for our new fur coats," I said sadly. "There's no other option. It will be a lot more expensive if we lose Aunt Cynthia's support. She could easily think that we got rid of Fatima on purpose and with bad intentions."
So we advertised. Max went to town and had the notice inserted in the most important daily. We asked any one who had a white Persian cat, with a blue spot on the tip of its tail, to dispose of, to communicate with M. I., care of the Enterprise.
So we put out an ad. Max went into town and got the notice placed in the biggest daily newspaper. We requested that anyone who had a white Persian cat with a blue spot on the tip of its tail, and was looking to sell, contact M. I., care of the Enterprise.
We really did not have much hope that anything would come of it, so we were surprised and delighted over the letter Max brought home from town four days later. It was a type-written screed from Halifax stating that the writer had for sale a white Persian cat answering to our description. The price was a hundred and ten dollars, and, if M. I. cared to go to Halifax and inspect the animal, it would be found at 110 Hollis Street, by inquiring for "Persian."
We honestly didn't think anything would come of it, so we were surprised and thrilled when Max brought home a letter from town four days later. It was a typed message from Halifax saying that the writer had a white Persian cat for sale that matched our description. The price was a hundred and ten dollars, and if M. I. wanted to go to Halifax to check out the cat, it could be found at 110 Hollis Street by asking for "Persian."
"Temper your joy, my friends," said Ismay, gloomily. "The cat may not suit. The blue spot may be too big or too small or not in the right place. I consistently refuse to believe that any good thing can come out of this deplorable affair."
"Calm your excitement, everyone," Ismay said, sounding downcast. "The cat might not be right. The blue spot could be too big or too small or not positioned correctly. I can't bring myself to believe that anything good can come from this terrible situation."
Just at this moment there was a knock at the door and I hurried out. The postmaster's boy was there with a telegram. I tore it open, glanced at it, and dashed back into the room.
Just then, there was a knock at the door, and I rushed out. The postmaster's boy was there with a telegram. I tore it open, glanced at it, and sprinted back into the room.
"What is it now?" cried Ismay, beholding my face.
"What is it now?" Ismay exclaimed, looking at my face.
I held out the telegram. It was from Aunt Cynthia. She had wired us to send Fatima to Halifax by express immediately.
I handed over the telegram. It was from Aunt Cynthia. She had messaged us to send Fatima to Halifax by express right away.
For the first time Max did not seem ready to rush into the breach with a suggestion. It was I who spoke first.
For the first time, Max didn’t seem eager to jump in with a suggestion. I was the one who spoke up first.
"Max," I said, imploringly, "you'll see us through this, won't you? Neither Ismay nor I can rush off to Halifax at once. You must go to-morrow morning. Go right to 110 Hollis Street and ask for 'Persian.' If the cat looks enough like Fatima, buy it and take it to Aunt Cynthia. If it doesn't—but it must! You'll go, won't you?"
"Max," I said desperately, "you'll help us out with this, right? Neither Ismay nor I can head to Halifax immediately. You need to go tomorrow morning. Go straight to 110 Hollis Street and ask for 'Persian.' If the cat looks enough like Fatima, buy it and take it to Aunt Cynthia. If it doesn't—but it must! You'll go, right?"
"That depends," said Max.
"That depends," Max said.
I stared at him. This was so unlike Max.
I looked at him. This was nothing like Max.
"You are sending me on a nasty errand," he said, coolly. "How do I know that Aunt Cynthia will be deceived after all, even if she be short-sighted. Buying a cat in a joke is a huge risk. And if she should see through the scheme I shall be in a pretty mess."
"You’re sending me on a terrible errand," he said calmly. "How do I know that Aunt Cynthia will be fooled in the end, even if she is a bit clueless? Buying a cat as a joke is a big gamble. And if she figures out the plan, I’ll be in big trouble."
"Oh, Max," I said, on the verge of tears.
"Oh, Max," I said, almost in tears.
"Of course," said Max, looking meditatively into the fire, "if I were really one of the family, or had any reasonable prospect of being so, I would not mind so much. It would be all in the day's work then. But as it is—"
"Of course," Max said, gazing thoughtfully into the fire, "if I were truly part of the family, or had a real chance of being one, I wouldn't mind as much. It would just be another day at work. But as it is—"
Ismay got up and went out of the room.
Ismay got up and left the room.
"Oh, Max, please," I said.
"Oh, Max, please," I said.
"Will you marry me, Sue?" demanded Max sternly. "If you will agree, I'll go to Halifax and beard the lion in his den unflinchingly. If necessary, I will take a black street cat to Aunt Cynthia, and swear that it is Fatima. I'll get you out of the scrape, if I have to prove that you never had Fatima, that she is safe in your possession at the present time, and that there never was such an animal as Fatima anyhow. I'll do anything, say anything—but it must be for my future wife."
"Will you marry me, Sue?" Max asked firmly. "If you agree, I'll go to Halifax and face the challenge head-on. If I have to, I'll take a black street cat to Aunt Cynthia and claim it's Fatima. I'll get you out of this mess, even if it means proving you never had Fatima, that she's safe with you now, and that there was never such a cat as Fatima at all. I'll do anything, say anything—but it has to be for my future wife."
"Will nothing else content you?" I said helplessly.
"Will nothing else satisfy you?" I said helplessly.
"Nothing."
"Nothing."
I thought hard. Of course Max was acting abominably—but—but—he was really a dear fellow—and this was the twelfth time—and there was Anne Shirley! I knew in my secret soul that life would be a dreadfully dismal thing if Max were not around somewhere. Besides, I would have married him long ago had not Aunt Cynthia thrown us so pointedly at each other's heads ever since he came to Spencervale.
I thought hard. Sure, Max was being terrible—but—he was really a great guy—and this was the twelfth time—and there was Anne Shirley! Deep down, I knew life would be incredibly dull if Max weren't around. Plus, I would have married him a long time ago if Aunt Cynthia hadn't so obviously tried to push us together ever since he came to Spencervale.
"Very well," I said crossly.
"Fine," I said crossly.
Max left for Halifax in the morning. Next day we got a wire saying it was all right. The evening of the following day he was back in Spencervale. Ismay and I put him in a chair and glared at him impatiently.
Max left for Halifax in the morning. The next day, we received a message saying everything was fine. By the evening of the day after that, he was back in Spencervale. Ismay and I put him in a chair and glared at him impatiently.
Max began to laugh and laughed until he turned blue.
Max started laughing and kept laughing until he turned blue.
"I am glad it is so amusing," said Ismay severely. "If Sue and I could see the joke it might be more so."
"I’m glad you find it so funny," Ismay said firmly. "If Sue and I could see the joke, it might be more entertaining."
"Dear little girls, have patience with me," implored Max. "If you knew what it cost me to keep a straight face in Halifax you would forgive me for breaking out now."
"Dear little girls, please be patient with me," Max pleaded. "If you knew how hard it was for me to keep a straight face in Halifax, you would understand why I’m breaking down now."
"We forgive you—but for pity's sake tell us all about it," I cried.
"We forgive you—but please, tell us everything," I exclaimed.
"Well, as soon as I arrived in Halifax I hurried to 110 Hollis Street, but—see here! Didn't you tell me your Aunt's address was 10 Pleasant Street?"
"Well, as soon as I got to Halifax, I rushed over to 110 Hollis Street, but—hold on! Didn't you say your aunt's address was 10 Pleasant Street?"
"So it is."
"That's how it is."
"'T isn't. You look at the address on a telegram next time you get one. She went a week ago to visit another friend who lives at 110 Hollis."
"'It's not. Just check the address on a telegram the next time you get one. She went a week ago to visit another friend who lives at 110 Hollis."
"Max!"
"Max!"
"It's a fact. I rang the bell, and was just going to ask the maid for 'Persian' when your Aunt Cynthia herself came through the hall and pounced on me."
"It's true. I rang the bell and was about to ask the maid for 'Persian' when your Aunt Cynthia herself walked through the hall and leaped on me."
"'Max,' she said, 'have you brought Fatima?'
"'Max,' she said, 'did you bring Fatima?'"
"'No,' I answered, trying to adjust my wits to this new development as she towed me into the library. 'No, I—I—just came to Halifax on a little matter of business.'
"'No,' I replied, trying to wrap my head around this new turn of events as she dragged me into the library. 'No, I—I—just came to Halifax for a small business matter.'"
"'Dear me,' said Aunt Cynthia, crossly, 'I don't know what those girls mean. I wired them to send Fatima at once. And she has not come yet and I am expecting a call every minute from some one who wants to buy her.'
"'Goodness,' Aunt Cynthia said impatiently, 'I don't understand what those girls are thinking. I texted them to send Fatima right away. And she still hasn't arrived, and I’m expecting a call any minute from someone who wants to buy her.'"
"'Oh!' I murmured, mining deeper every minute.
"'Oh!' I whispered, digging deeper with each passing minute."
"'Yes,' went on your aunt, 'there is an advertisement in the Charlottetown Enterprise for a Persian cat, and I answered it. Fatima is really quite a charge, you know—and so apt to die and be a dead loss,'—did your aunt mean a pun, girls?—'and so, although I am considerably attached to her, I have decided to part with her.'
"'Yes,' your aunt continued, 'there's an ad in the Charlottetown Enterprise for a Persian cat, and I replied to it. Fatima is really quite a handful, you know—and so likely to pass away and be a total loss,'—did your aunt mean that as a pun, girls?—'and so, even though I'm pretty attached to her, I've decided to let her go.'"
"By this time I had got my second wind, and I promptly decided that a judicious mixture of the truth was the thing required.
"By this point, I had found my second wind, and I quickly decided that a careful blend of the truth was what was needed."
"'Well, of all the curious coincidences,' I exclaimed. 'Why, Miss Ridley, it was I who advertised for a Persian cat—on Sue's behalf. She and Ismay have decided that they want a cat like Fatima for themselves.'
"'Well, what a strange coincidence,' I said. 'Miss Ridley, it was me who put out an ad for a Persian cat—for Sue. She and Ismay have decided they want a cat like Fatima for themselves.'"
"You should have seen how she beamed. She said she knew you always really liked cats, only you would never own up to it. We clinched the dicker then and there. I passed her over your hundred and ten dollars—she took the money without turning a hair—and now you are the joint owners of Fatima. Good luck to your bargain!"
"You should have seen how she lit up. She said she knew you always really liked cats, but you would never admit it. We sealed the deal right then and there. I handed her your hundred and ten dollars—she took the money without batting an eye—and now you are the co-owners of Fatima. Good luck with your purchase!"
"Mean old thing," sniffed Ismay. She meant Aunt Cynthia, and, remembering our shabby furs, I didn't disagree with her.
"Mean old thing," huffed Ismay. She was talking about Aunt Cynthia, and thinking about our worn-out furs, I couldn't argue with her.
"But there is no Fatima," I said, dubiously. "How shall we account for her when Aunt Cynthia comes home?"
"But there is no Fatima," I said, doubtfully. "How are we going to explain her when Aunt Cynthia gets home?"
"Well, your aunt isn't coming home for a month yet. When she comes you will have to tell her that the cat—is lost—but you needn't say WHEN it happened. As for the rest, Fatima is your property now, so Aunt Cynthia can't grumble. But she will have a poorer opinion than ever of your fitness to run a house alone."
"Well, your aunt isn't coming home for another month. When she does, you’ll have to tell her that the cat is missing—but you don’t have to mention WHEN it happened. As for the rest, Fatima belongs to you now, so Aunt Cynthia can’t complain. But she will think even less of your ability to manage a household on your own."
When Max left I went to the window to watch him down the path. He was really a handsome fellow, and I was proud of him. At the gate he turned to wave me good-by, and, as he did, he glanced upward. Even at that distance I saw the look of amazement on his face. Then he came bolting back.
When Max left, I went to the window to watch him walk down the path. He was really a good-looking guy, and I felt proud of him. At the gate, he turned to wave goodbye, and as he did, he looked upward. Even from that distance, I could see the look of amazement on his face. Then he came running back.
"Ismay, the house is on fire!" I shrieked, as I flew to the door.
"Ismay, the house is on fire!" I yelled, as I rushed to the door.
"Sue," cried Max, "I saw Fatima, or her ghost, at the garret window a moment ago!"
"Sue," yelled Max, "I just saw Fatima, or her ghost, at the attic window a moment ago!"
"Nonsense!" I cried. But Ismay was already half way up the stairs and we followed. Straight to the garret we rushed. There sat Fatima, sleek and complacent, sunning herself in the window.
"Nonsense!" I shouted. But Ismay was already halfway up the stairs, and we followed. We rushed straight to the attic. There sat Fatima, sleek and self-satisfied, lounging in the window.
Max laughed until the rafters rang.
Max laughed so hard the rafters shook.
"She can't have been up here all this time," I protested, half tearfully. "We would have heard her meowing."
"She can't have been up here this whole time," I said, half crying. "We would have heard her meowing."
"But you didn't," said Max.
"But you didn’t," said Max.
"She would have died of the cold," declared Ismay.
"She would have frozen to death," Ismay stated.
"But she hasn't," said Max.
"But she hasn't," Max said.
"Or starved," I cried.
"Or starve," I cried.
"The place is alive with mice," said Max. "No, girls, there is no doubt the cat has been here the whole fortnight. She must have followed Huldah Jane up here, unobserved, that day. It's a wonder you didn't hear her crying—if she did cry. But perhaps she didn't, and, of course, you sleep downstairs. To think you never thought of looking here for her!"
"The place is crawling with mice," Max said. "No, girls, there's no doubt the cat has been here the entire two weeks. She must have followed Huldah Jane up here without anyone noticing that day. It's strange you didn't hear her meowing—if she even did. But maybe she didn't, and, of course, you sleep downstairs. Can you believe you never thought to check here for her!"
"It has cost us over a hundred dollars," said Ismay, with a malevolent glance at the sleek Fatima.
"It has cost us over a hundred dollars," Ismay said, giving a dirty look to the sleek Fatima.
"It has cost me more than that," I said, as I turned to the stairway.
"It has cost me more than that," I said, as I turned to the staircase.
Max held me back for an instant, while Ismay and Fatima pattered down.
Max held me back for a moment, while Ismay and Fatima hurried downstairs.
"Do you think it has cost too much, Sue?" he whispered.
"Do you think it’s cost too much, Sue?" he whispered.
I looked at him sideways. He was really a dear. Niceness fairly exhaled from him.
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. He was truly sweet. Kindness almost radiated from him.
"No-o-o," I said, "but when we are married you will have to take care of Fatima, I won't."
"No way," I said, "but once we're married, you’ll have to take care of Fatima, I won’t."
"Dear Fatima," said Max gratefully.
"Dear Fatima," Max said gratefully.
II. THE MATERIALIZING OF CECIL
It had never worried me in the least that I wasn't married, although everybody in Avonlea pitied old maids; but it DID worry me, and I frankly confess it, that I had never had a chance to be. Even Nancy, my old nurse and servant, knew that, and pitied me for it. Nancy is an old maid herself, but she has had two proposals. She did not accept either of them because one was a widower with seven children, and the other a very shiftless, good-for-nothing fellow; but, if anybody twitted Nancy on her single condition, she could point triumphantly to those two as evidence that "she could an she would." If I had not lived all my life in Avonlea I might have had the benefit of the doubt; but I had, and everybody knew everything about me—or thought they did.
It had never bothered me at all that I wasn't married, even though everyone in Avonlea felt sorry for old maids; but it DID bother me, and I’ll admit it, that I had never had a chance to get married. Even Nancy, my old nurse and servant, understood that and pitied me for it. Nancy is an old maid herself, but she’s had two proposals. She turned both down because one was a widower with seven kids, and the other was a lazy, no-good guy; however, if anyone teased Nancy about being single, she could proudly point to those two as proof that "she could if she wanted to." If I hadn’t spent my whole life in Avonlea, I might have had the benefit of the doubt; but I had, and everyone knew everything about me—or thought they did.
I had really often wondered why nobody had ever fallen in love with me. I was not at all homely; indeed, years ago, George Adoniram Maybrick had written a poem addressed to me, in which he praised my beauty quite extravagantly; that didn't mean anything because George Adoniram wrote poetry to all the good-looking girls and never went with anybody but Flora King, who was cross-eyed and red-haired, but it proves that it was not my appearance that put me out of the running. Neither was it the fact that I wrote poetry myself—although not of George Adoniram's kind—because nobody ever knew that. When I felt it coming on I shut myself up in my room and wrote it out in a little blank book I kept locked up. It is nearly full now, because I have been writing poetry all my life. It is the only thing I have ever been able to keep a secret from Nancy. Nancy, in any case, has not a very high opinion of my ability to take care of myself; but I tremble to imagine what she would think if she ever found out about that little book. I am convinced she would send for the doctor post-haste and insist on mustard plasters while waiting for him.
I often wondered why no one had ever fallen in love with me. I wasn't unattractive; in fact, years ago, George Adoniram Maybrick wrote a poem about me, praising my beauty quite a bit. That didn't mean much, though, because George Adoniram wrote poetry for all the pretty girls and only dated Flora King, who was cross-eyed and a redhead. Still, it shows that my looks weren't the issue. It wasn't because I wrote poetry myself—though not like George Adoniram's—since no one ever knew about it. When the urge hit me, I'd lock myself in my room and write it down in a little blank book I kept hidden. It's almost full now because I've been writing poetry my whole life. It's the only thing I've ever managed to keep a secret from Nancy. Nancy doesn't think highly of my ability to take care of myself anyway, but I shudder to think what she'd do if she ever discovered that little book. I'm sure she'd rush to call the doctor and insist on mustard plasters while waiting for him.
Nevertheless, I kept on at it, and what with my flowers and my cats and my magazines and my little book, I was really very happy and contented. But it DID sting that Adella Gilbert, across the road, who has a drunken husband, should pity "poor Charlotte" because nobody had ever wanted her. Poor Charlotte indeed! If I had thrown myself at a man's head the way Adella Gilbert did at—but there, there, I must refrain from such thoughts. I must not be uncharitable.
Nevertheless, I kept at it, and with my flowers, cats, magazines, and my little book, I was really quite happy and content. But it did sting that Adella Gilbert, across the street, who has a drunk husband, should feel sorry for "poor Charlotte" because nobody ever wanted her. Poor Charlotte indeed! If I had gone after a man the way Adella Gilbert did at—but never mind, I need to stop thinking like that. I shouldn't be uncharitable.
The Sewing Circle met at Mary Gillespie's on my fortieth birthday. I have given up talking about my birthdays, although that little scheme is not much good in Avonlea where everybody knows your age—or if they make a mistake it is never on the side of youth. But Nancy, who grew accustomed to celebrating my birthdays when I was a little girl, never gets over the habit, and I don't try to cure her, because, after all, it's nice to have some one make a fuss over you. She brought me up my breakfast before I got up out of bed—a concession to my laziness that Nancy would scorn to make on any other day of the year. She had cooked everything I like best, and had decorated the tray with roses from the garden and ferns from the woods behind the house. I enjoyed every bit of that breakfast, and then I got up and dressed, putting on my second best muslin gown. I would have put on my really best if I had not had the fear of Nancy before my eyes; but I knew she would never condone THAT, even on a birthday. I watered my flowers and fed my cats, and then I locked myself up and wrote a poem on June. I had given up writing birthday odes after I was thirty.
The Sewing Circle gathered at Mary Gillespie's on my fortieth birthday. I've stopped talking about my birthdays, though that little tactic doesn't work in Avonlea where everyone knows your age—or if they get it wrong, it's never in your favor. But Nancy, who got used to celebrating my birthdays when I was a little girl, can't let go of the habit, and I don't bother trying to change her mind because, honestly, it's nice to have someone make a fuss over you. She brought me breakfast in bed—a rare treat that Nancy would never offer on any other day of the year. She cooked everything I love the most, and decorated the tray with roses from the garden and ferns from the woods behind the house. I enjoyed every morsel of that breakfast, then I got up and dressed, slipping on my second-best muslin gown. I would have worn my best if it weren't for my fear of Nancy; I knew she wouldn't approve of THAT, even on a birthday. I watered my flowers and fed my cats, then I locked myself in and wrote a poem about June. I had stopped writing birthday poems after I turned thirty.
In the afternoon I went to the Sewing Circle. When I was ready for it I looked in my glass and wondered if I could really be forty. I was quite sure I didn't look it. My hair was brown and wavy, my cheeks were pink, and the lines could hardly be seen at all, though possibly that was because of the dim light. I always have my mirror hung in the darkest corner of my room. Nancy cannot imagine why. I know the lines are there, of course; but when they don't show very plain I forget that they are there.
In the afternoon, I went to the Sewing Circle. When I was getting ready, I looked in the mirror and wondered if I could really be forty. I was pretty sure I didn't look that old. My hair was brown and wavy, my cheeks were pink, and the lines on my face were barely visible, though maybe that was because of the dim light. I always keep my mirror in the darkest corner of my room. Nancy can't understand why. I know the lines are there, of course, but when they’re not very noticeable, I forget they exist.
We had a large Sewing Circle, young and old alike attending. I really cannot say I ever enjoyed the meetings—at least not up to that time—although I went religiously because I thought it my duty to go. The married women talked so much of their husbands and children, and of course I had to be quiet on those topics; and the young girls talked in corner groups about their beaux, and stopped it when I joined them, as if they felt sure that an old maid who had never had a beau couldn't understand at all. As for the other old maids, they talked gossip about every one, and I did not like that either. I knew the minute my back was turned they would fasten into me and hint that I used hair-dye and declare it was perfectly ridiculous for a woman of FIFTY to wear a pink muslin dress with lace-trimmed frills.
We had a large Sewing Circle, with everyone from young to old coming together. I can’t say I ever enjoyed the meetings—at least not until that point—though I went faithfully because I felt it was my obligation. The married women chatted endlessly about their husbands and kids, and obviously, I had to stay silent on those subjects; the young girls gathered in small groups to discuss their boyfriends and would stop talking when I joined them, as if they were sure that an old maid who had never had a boyfriend wouldn’t get it at all. As for the other old maids, they gossiped about everyone, and I wasn't a fan of that either. I knew that the moment I turned my back, they would start in on me, suggesting that I used hair dye and claiming it was totally ridiculous for a woman of FIFTY to wear a pink muslin dress with lace-trimmed frills.
There was a full attendance that day, for we were getting ready for a sale of fancy work in aid of parsonage repairs. The young girls were merrier and noisier than usual. Wilhelmina Mercer was there, and she kept them going. The Mercers were quite new to Avonlea, having come here only two months previously.
There was a full crowd that day because we were preparing for a sale of crafts to help repair the parsonage. The young girls were happier and louder than usual. Wilhelmina Mercer was there, and she kept the energy up. The Mercers were relatively new to Avonlea, having arrived only two months earlier.
I was sitting by the window and Wilhelmina Mercer, Maggie Henderson, Susette Cross and Georgie Hall were in a little group just before me. I wasn't listening to their chatter at all, but presently Georgie exclaimed teasingly:
I was sitting by the window, and Wilhelmina Mercer, Maggie Henderson, Susette Cross, and Georgie Hall were gathered in a small group right in front of me. I wasn’t paying any attention to their conversation, but soon enough, Georgie jokingly exclaimed:
"Miss Charlotte is laughing at us. I suppose she thinks we are awfully silly to be talking about beaux."
"Miss Charlotte is laughing at us. I guess she thinks we’re really silly for talking about guys."
The truth was that I was simply smiling over some very pretty thoughts that had come to me about the roses which were climbing over Mary Gillespie's sill. I meant to inscribe them in the little blank book when I went home. Georgie's speech brought me back to harsh realities with a jolt. It hurt me, as such speeches always did.
The truth was, I was just smiling at some really nice thoughts I had about the roses climbing over Mary Gillespie's windowsill. I planned to write them down in my little blank book when I got home. Georgie's speech suddenly brought me back to harsh realities with a shock. It hurt me, as those kinds of speeches always did.
"Didn't you ever have a beau, Miss Holmes?" said Wilhelmina laughingly.
"Didn't you ever have a boyfriend, Miss Holmes?" Wilhelmina asked with a laugh.
Just as it happened, a silence had fallen over the room for a moment, and everybody in it heard Wilhelmina's question.
Just then, a silence fell over the room for a moment, and everyone in it heard Wilhelmina's question.
I really do not know what got into me and possessed me. I have never been able to account for what I said and did, because I am naturally a truthful person and hate all deceit. It seemed to me that I simply could not say "No" to Wilhelmina before that whole roomful of women. It was TOO humiliating. I suppose all the prickles and stings and slurs I had endured for fifteen years on account of never having had a lover had what the new doctor calls "a cumulative effect" and came to a head then and there.
I honestly don’t know what got into me. I’ve never been able to explain what I said and did, because I’m naturally a truthful person and I hate deceit. It felt impossible for me to say "No" to Wilhelmina in front of all those women. It was just too humiliating. I guess all the teasing and insults I endured for fifteen years because I had never had a lover had what the new doctor calls "a cumulative effect" and finally boiled over right then and there.
"Yes, I had one once, my dear," I said calmly.
"Yeah, I had one once, my dear," I said calmly.
For once in my life I made a sensation. Every woman in that room stopped sewing and stared at me. Most of them, I saw, didn't believe me, but Wilhelmina did. Her pretty face lighted up with interest.
For once in my life, I created a stir. Every woman in that room stopped sewing and stared at me. Most of them, I noticed, didn't believe me, but Wilhelmina did. Her pretty face lit up with interest.
"Oh, won't you tell us about him, Miss Holmes?" she coaxed, "and why didn't you marry him?"
"Oh, could you tell us about him, Miss Holmes?" she urged, "and why didn’t you marry him?"
"That is right, Miss Mercer," said Josephine Cameron, with a nasty little laugh. "Make her tell. We're all interested. It's news to us that Charlotte ever had a beau."
"That's right, Miss Mercer," said Josephine Cameron, with a snide little laugh. "Make her spill it. We're all curious. It's news to us that Charlotte ever had a boyfriend."
If Josephine had not said that, I might not have gone on. But she did say it, and, moreover, I caught Mary Gillespie and Adella Gilbert exchanging significant smiles. That settled it, and made me quite reckless. "In for a penny, in for a pound," thought I, and I said with a pensive smile:
If Josephine hadn't said that, I probably wouldn't have continued. But she did say it, and on top of that, I saw Mary Gillespie and Adella Gilbert sharing knowing smiles. That clinched it for me and made me feel bold. "In for a penny, in for a pound," I thought, and I said with a thoughtful smile:
"Nobody here knew anything about him, and it was all long, long ago."
"Nobody here knew anything about him, and it all happened a long, long time ago."
"What was his name?" asked Wilhelmina.
"What was his name?" Wilhelmina asked.
"Cecil Fenwick," I answered promptly. Cecil had always been my favorite name for a man; it figured quite frequently in the blank book. As for the Fenwick part of it, I had a bit of newspaper in my hand, measuring a hem, with "Try Fenwick's Porous Plasters" printed across it, and I simply joined the two in sudden and irrevocable matrimony.
"Cecil Fenwick," I replied quickly. Cecil had always been my favorite name for a guy; it came up pretty often in the blank book. As for the Fenwick part, I had a scrap of newspaper in my hand, measuring a hem, with "Try Fenwick's Porous Plasters" printed on it, and I just put the two together in an instant and without hesitation.
"Where did you meet him?" asked Georgie.
"Where did you meet him?" Georgie asked.
I hastily reviewed my past. There was only one place to locate Cecil Fenwick. The only time I had ever been far enough away from Avonlea in my life was when I was eighteen and had gone to visit an aunt in New Brunswick.
I quickly looked back on my past. There was only one place to find Cecil Fenwick. The only time I had ever been far from Avonlea in my life was when I was eighteen and visited an aunt in New Brunswick.
"In Blakely, New Brunswick," I said, almost believing that I had when I saw how they all took it in unsuspectingly. "I was just eighteen and he was twenty-three."
"In Blakely, New Brunswick," I said, almost believing it myself when I saw how they all took it in without a clue. "I was only eighteen and he was twenty-three."
"What did he look like?" Susette wanted to know.
"What did he look like?" Susette asked.
"Oh, he was very handsome." I proceeded glibly to sketch my ideal. To tell the dreadful truth, I was enjoying myself; I could see respect dawning in those girls' eyes, and I knew that I had forever thrown off my reproach. Henceforth I should be a woman with a romantic past, faithful to the one love of her life—a very, very different thing from an old maid who had never had a lover.
"Oh, he was really handsome." I went on smoothly to describe my ideal. To be frank, I was having a good time; I could see respect growing in those girls' eyes, and I knew that I had finally shed my shame. From now on, I would be a woman with a romantic past, devoted to the one love of her life—a totally different thing from an old maid who had never had a lover.
"He was tall and dark, with lovely, curly black hair and brilliant, piercing eyes. He had a splendid chin, and a fine nose, and the most fascinating smile!"
"He was tall and dark, with beautiful, curly black hair and bright, intense eyes. He had a strong chin, a nice nose, and the most captivating smile!"
"What was he?" asked Maggie.
"What was he?" Maggie asked.
"A young lawyer," I said, my choice of profession decided by an enlarged crayon portrait of Mary Gillespie's deceased brother on an easel before me. He had been a lawyer.
"A young lawyer," I said, my career choice influenced by a large crayon drawing of Mary Gillespie's late brother displayed on an easel in front of me. He used to be a lawyer.
"Why didn't you marry him?" demanded Susette.
"Why didn't you marry him?" Susette asked.
"We quarreled," I answered sadly. "A terribly bitter quarrel. Oh, we were both so young and so foolish. It was my fault. I vexed Cecil by flirting with another man"—wasn't I coming on!—"and he was jealous and angry. He went out West and never came back. I have never seen him since, and I do not even know if he is alive. But—but—I could never care for any other man."
"We fought," I replied sadly. "A really bitter fight. Oh, we were both so young and so foolish. It was my fault. I upset Cecil by flirting with another guy"—wasn't I being bold!—"and he got jealous and angry. He went out West and never returned. I haven't seen him since, and I don't even know if he's alive. But—but—I could never care for any other man."
"Oh, how interesting!" sighed Wilhelmina. "I do so love sad love stories. But perhaps he will come back some day yet, Miss Holmes."
“Oh, how interesting!” sighed Wilhelmina. “I really love sad love stories. But maybe he will come back someday, Miss Holmes.”
"Oh, no, never now," I said, shaking my head. "He has forgotten all about me, I dare say. Or if he hasn't, he has never forgiven me."
"Oh, no, not now," I said, shaking my head. "He has totally forgotten about me, I’m sure. Or if he hasn’t, he’s never forgave me."
Mary Gillespie's Susan Jane announced tea at this moment, and I was thankful, for my imagination was giving out, and I didn't know what question those girls would ask next. But I felt already a change in the mental atmosphere surrounding me, and all through supper I was thrilled with a secret exultation. Repentant? Ashamed? Not a bit of it! I'd have done the same thing over again, and all I felt sorry for was that I hadn't done it long ago.
Mary Gillespie's Susan Jane announced tea at that moment, and I was grateful because my imagination was running dry, and I had no idea what those girls would ask next. But I could already sense a shift in the mental atmosphere around me, and throughout supper, I was filled with a secret joy. Repentant? Ashamed? Not at all! I would have done the same thing again, and all I felt was regret for not having done it much earlier.
When I got home that night Nancy looked at me wonderingly, and said:
When I got home that night, Nancy looked at me with curiosity and said:
"You look like a girl to-night, Miss Charlotte."
"You look like a girl tonight, Miss Charlotte."
"I feel like one," I said laughing; and I ran to my room and did what I had never done before—wrote a second poem in the same day. I had to have some outlet for my feelings. I called it "In Summer Days of Long Ago," and I worked Mary Gillespie's roses and Cecil Fenwick's eyes into it, and made it so sad and reminiscent and minor-musicky that I felt perfectly happy.
"I feel like one," I said with a laugh; then I ran to my room and did something I had never done before—I wrote a second poem in the same day. I needed an outlet for my emotions. I titled it "In Summer Days of Long Ago," and I wove in Mary Gillespie's roses and Cecil Fenwick's eyes, making it so sad and nostalgic, like a minor key, that I felt completely happy.
For the next two months all went well and merrily. Nobody ever said anything more to me about Cecil Fenwick, but the girls all chattered freely to me of their little love affairs, and I became a sort of general confidant for them. It just warmed up the cockles of my heart, and I began to enjoy the Sewing Circle famously. I got a lot of pretty new dresses and the dearest hat, and I went everywhere I was asked and had a good time.
For the next two months, everything went smoothly and happily. No one mentioned Cecil Fenwick again, but the girls freely talked to me about their little romances, and I became their go-to confidant. It truly warmed my heart, and I started to really enjoy the Sewing Circle. I got a lot of beautiful new dresses and the cutest hat, and I went everywhere I was invited and had a great time.
But there is one thing you can be perfectly sure of. If you do wrong you are going to be punished for it sometime, somehow and somewhere. My punishment was delayed for two months, and then it descended on my head and I was crushed to the very dust.
But there’s one thing you can be completely sure of. If you do something wrong, you’re going to face consequences eventually, in some way and at some point. My punishment was postponed for two months, and then it hit me hard, and I felt completely defeated.
Another new family besides the Mercers had come to Avonlea in the spring—the Maxwells. There were just Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell; they were a middle-aged couple and very well off. Mr. Maxwell had bought the lumber mills, and they lived up at the old Spencer place which had always been "the" place of Avonlea. They lived quietly, and Mrs. Maxwell hardly ever went anywhere because she was delicate. She was out when I called and I was out when she returned my call, so that I had never met her.
Another new family, apart from the Mercers, had moved to Avonlea in the spring—the Maxwells. It was just Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell; they were a middle-aged couple and quite well-off. Mr. Maxwell had purchased the lumber mills, and they lived at the old Spencer place, which had always been the prominent house in Avonlea. They kept to themselves, and Mrs. Maxwell rarely went out because she was fragile. She was out when I called, and I was out when she returned my call, so I never got the chance to meet her.
It was the Sewing Circle day again—at Sarah Gardiner's this time. I was late; everybody else was there when I arrived, and the minute I entered the room I knew something had happened, although I couldn't imagine what. Everybody looked at me in the strangest way. Of course, Wilhelmina Mercer was the first to set her tongue going.
It was Sewing Circle day again—this time at Sarah Gardiner's. I was late; everyone else was already there when I arrived, and the moment I walked into the room, I could tell something was off, although I couldn't figure out what it was. Everyone looked at me in the weirdest way. Of course, Wilhelmina Mercer was the first to start talking.
"Oh, Miss Holmes, have you seen him yet?" she exclaimed.
"Oh, Miss Holmes, have you seen him yet?" she said.
"Seen whom?" I said non-excitedly, getting out my thimble and patterns.
"Who did you see?" I replied uninterestedly, pulling out my thimble and patterns.
"Why, Cecil Fenwick. He's here—in Avonlea—visiting his sister, Mrs. Maxwell."
"Why, it's Cecil Fenwick. He's here—in Avonlea—staying with his sister, Mrs. Maxwell."
I suppose I did what they expected me to do. I dropped everything I held, and Josephine Cameron said afterwards that Charlotte Holmes would never be paler when she was in her coffin. If they had just known why I turned so pale!
I guess I did what they wanted me to do. I dropped everything I had, and Josephine Cameron later said that Charlotte Holmes would never look more pale than when she was in her coffin. If only they had known why I turned so pale!
"It's impossible!" I said blankly.
"It's impossible!" I said blankly.
"It's really true," said Wilhelmina, delighted at this development, as she supposed it, of my romance. "I was up to see Mrs. Maxwell last night, and I met him."
"It's really true," said Wilhelmina, thrilled about this twist in my story, or so she thought. "I went to see Mrs. Maxwell last night, and I met him."
"It—can't be—the same—Cecil Fenwick," I said faintly, because I had to say something.
"It can't be the same Cecil Fenwick," I said softly, because I needed to say something.
"Oh, yes, it is. He belongs in Blakely, New Brunswick, and he's a lawyer, and he's been out West twenty-two years. He's oh! so handsome, and just as you described him, except that his hair is quite gray. He has never married—I asked Mrs. Maxwell—so you see he has never forgotten you, Miss Holmes. And, oh, I believe everything is going to come out all right."
"Oh, yes, it is. He’s from Blakely, New Brunswick, and he’s a lawyer who’s spent twenty-two years out West. He is so handsome, just like you described, except his hair is pretty gray now. He’s never married—I asked Mrs. Maxwell—so it shows he’s never forgotten you, Miss Holmes. And I really believe everything is going to turn out fine."
I couldn't exactly share her cheerful belief. Everything seemed to me to be coming out most horribly wrong. I was so mixed up I didn't know what to do or say. I felt as if I were in a bad dream—it MUST be a dream—there couldn't really be a Cecil Fenwick! My feelings were simply indescribable. Fortunately every one put my agitation down to quite a different cause, and they very kindly left me alone to recover myself. I shall never forget that awful afternoon. Right after tea I excused myself and went home as fast as I could go. There I shut myself up in my room, but NOT to write poetry in my blank book. No, indeed! I felt in no poetical mood.
I couldn’t quite share her upbeat belief. Everything seemed to be going horribly wrong to me. I was so confused I didn't know what to do or say. It felt like I was in a nightmare—it MUST be a dream—there couldn’t really be a Cecil Fenwick! My feelings were just beyond words. Luckily, everyone thought my distress was due to something else, and they kindly gave me space to collect myself. I’ll never forget that terrible afternoon. Right after tea, I made my excuses and hurried home as fast as I could. Once there, I locked myself in my room, but NOT to write poetry in my blank book. Not at all! I was in no mood for poetry.
I tried to look the facts squarely in the face. There was a Cecil Fenwick, extraordinary as the coincidence was, and he was here in Avonlea. All my friends—and foes—believed that he was the estranged lover of my youth. If he stayed long in Avonlea, one of two things was bound to happen. He would hear the story I had told about him and deny it, and I would be held up to shame and derision for the rest of my natural life; or else he would simply go away in ignorance, and everybody would suppose he had forgotten me and would pity me maddeningly. The latter possibility was bad enough, but it wasn't to be compared to the former; and oh, how I prayed—yes, I DID pray about it—that he would go right away. But Providence had other views for me.
I tried to face the facts head-on. There was a Cecil Fenwick; as strange as it seemed, he was here in Avonlea. All my friends—and enemies—thought he was the lost love of my youth. If he stayed in Avonlea for long, two things could happen. He would hear the story I told about him and deny it, leaving me ashamed and ridiculed for the rest of my life; or he would leave without knowing, and everyone would assume he’d forgotten me and feel sorry for me, which would be infuriating. The second option was bad enough, but it was nothing compared to the first; and oh, how I prayed—yes, I really DID pray—that he would leave immediately. But fate had other plans for me.
Cecil Fenwick didn't go away. He stayed right on in Avonlea, and the Maxwells blossomed out socially in his honor and tried to give him a good time. Mrs. Maxwell gave a party for him. I got a card—but you may be very sure I didn't go, although Nancy thought I was crazy not to. Then every one else gave parties in honor of Mr. Fenwick and I was invited and never went. Wilhelmina Mercer came and pleaded and scolded and told me if I avoided Mr. Fenwick like that he would think I still cherished bitterness against him, and he wouldn't make any advances towards a reconciliation. Wilhelmina means well, but she hasn't a great deal of sense.
Cecil Fenwick didn't leave. He stayed right in Avonlea, and the Maxwells socialized in his honor, trying to make him feel welcome. Mrs. Maxwell threw a party for him. I got an invitation—but trust me, I didn’t go, even though Nancy thought I was being ridiculous for skipping it. Then everyone else hosted parties for Mr. Fenwick, and I got invited but didn't attend. Wilhelmina Mercer came over, begged me, and lectured me, saying that if I kept avoiding Mr. Fenwick like this, he’d think I still harbored resentment against him, and he wouldn’t reach out for a reconciliation. Wilhelmina has good intentions, but she doesn’t have much common sense.
Cecil Fenwick seemed to be a great favorite with everybody, young and old. He was very rich, too, and Wilhelmina declared that half the girls were after him.
Cecil Fenwick seemed to be a huge favorite with everyone, both young and old. He was also really wealthy, and Wilhelmina said that half the girls were chasing after him.
"If it wasn't for you, Miss Holmes, I believe I'd have a try for him myself, in spite of his gray hair and quick temper—for Mrs. Maxwell says he has a pretty quick temper, but it's all over in a minute," said Wilhelmina, half in jest and wholly in earnest.
"If it weren't for you, Miss Holmes, I think I might go for him myself, despite his gray hair and temper—Mrs. Maxwell says he has a pretty quick temper, but it blows over quickly," said Wilhelmina, half joking and completely serious.
As for me, I gave up going out at all, even to church. I fretted and pined and lost my appetite and never wrote a line in my blank book. Nancy was half frantic and insisted on dosing me with her favorite patent pills. I took them meekly, because it is a waste of time and energy to oppose Nancy, but, of course, they didn't do me any good. My trouble was too deep-seated for pills to cure. If ever a woman was punished for telling a lie I was that woman. I stopped my subscription to the Weekly Advocate because it still carried that wretched porous plaster advertisement, and I couldn't bear to see it. If it hadn't been for that I would never have thought of Fenwick for a name, and all this trouble would have been averted.
As for me, I stopped going out altogether, not even to church. I worried and missed things and lost my appetite, never writing a single word in my blank notebook. Nancy was nearly frantic and insisted on giving me her favorite over-the-counter pills. I took them humbly because it's a waste of time and energy to argue with Nancy, but, of course, they didn’t help at all. My issues were too deep for pills to fix. If anyone was punished for telling a lie, it was me. I canceled my subscription to the Weekly Advocate because it still had that awful porous plaster ad, and I couldn't stand looking at it. If it hadn’t been for that, I would never have thought of Fenwick as a name, and all this trouble could have been avoided.
One evening, when I was moping in my room, Nancy came up.
One evening, while I was sulking in my room, Nancy came in.
"There's a gentleman in the parlor asking for you, Miss Charlotte."
"There's a guy in the living room asking for you, Miss Charlotte."
My heart gave just one horrible bounce.
My heart skipped a terrible beat.
"What—sort of a gentleman, Nancy?" I faltered.
"What kind of gentleman, Nancy?" I hesitated.
"I think it's that Fenwick man that there's been such a time about," said Nancy, who didn't know anything about my imaginary escapades, "and he looks to be mad clean through about something, for such a scowl I never seen."
"I think it's that Fenwick guy that everyone's been talking about," said Nancy, who didn't know anything about my make-believe adventures, "and he seems really angry about something; I've never seen such a scowl."
"Tell him I'll be down directly, Nancy," I said quite calmly.
"Tell him I'll be down in a minute, Nancy," I said pretty calmly.
As soon as Nancy had clumped downstairs again I put on my lace fichu and put two hankies in my belt, for I thought I'd probably need more than one. Then I hunted up an old Advocate for proof, and down I went to the parlor. I know exactly how a criminal feels going to execution, and I've been opposed to capital punishment ever since.
As soon as Nancy came down the stairs again, I put on my lace shawl and tucked two handkerchiefs into my belt, thinking I'd probably need more than one. Then I searched for an old Advocate for proof, and down I went to the living room. I know exactly how a criminal feels heading to execution, and I've been against capital punishment ever since.
I opened the parlor door and went in, carefully closing it behind me, for Nancy has a deplorable habit of listening in the hall. Then my legs gave out completely, and I couldn't have walked another step to save my life. I just stood there, my hand on the knob, trembling like a leaf.
I opened the parlor door and stepped inside, making sure to close it quietly behind me since Nancy has a terrible habit of eavesdropping in the hall. Then my legs gave out completely, and I couldn’t have walked another step to save my life. I just stood there, hand on the doorknob, trembling like a leaf.
A man was standing by the south window looking out; he wheeled around as I went in, and, as Nancy said, he had a scowl on and looked angry clear through. He was very handsome, and his gray hair gave him such a distinguished look. I recalled this afterward, but just at the moment you may be quite sure I wasn't thinking about it at all.
A man was standing by the south window looking outside; he turned around as I walked in, and, as Nancy pointed out, he had a scowl on his face and looked genuinely angry. He was really handsome, and his gray hair gave him a distinguished appearance. I remembered this later, but at that moment, you can be sure I wasn’t thinking about it at all.
Then all at once a strange thing happened. The scowl went right off his face and the anger out of his eyes. He looked astonished, and then foolish. I saw the color creeping up into his cheeks. As for me, I still stood there staring at him, not able to say a single word.
Then all of a sudden, something strange happened. The frown just vanished from his face and the anger disappeared from his eyes. He looked shocked, and then kind of silly. I noticed color rising in his cheeks. As for me, I just stood there staring at him, unable to say a single word.
"Miss Holmes, I presume," he said at last, in a deep, thrilling voice. "I—I—oh, confound it! I have called—I heard some foolish stories and I came here in a rage. I've been a fool—I know now they weren't true. Just excuse me and I'll go away and kick myself."
"Miss Holmes, I assume?" he finally said, with a deep, captivating voice. "I—I—oh, damn it! I came here because I heard some ridiculous stories and I was furious. I realize now I was being foolish—they weren’t true. Just forgive me and I’ll leave and beat myself up for this."
"No," I said, finding my voice with a gasp, "you mustn't go until you've heard the truth. It's dreadful enough, but not as dreadful as you might otherwise think. Those—those stories—I have a confession to make. I did tell them, but I didn't know there was such a person as Cecil Fenwick in existence."
"No," I said, catching my breath, "you can't leave until you’ve heard the truth. It's terrible enough, but not as bad as you might believe. Those—those stories—I have to confess something. I did tell them, but I didn't realize someone like Cecil Fenwick actually existed."
He looked puzzled, as well he might. Then he smiled, took my hand and led me away from the door—to the knob of which I was still holding with all my might—to the sofa.
He looked confused, which was understandable. Then he smiled, took my hand, and led me away from the door—I was still gripping the doorknob with all my strength—to the sofa.
"Let's sit down and talk it over 'comfy,'" he said.
"Let's sit down and talk it over comfortably," he said.
I just confessed the whole shameful business. It was terribly humiliating, but it served me right. I told him how people were always twitting me for never having had a beau, and how I had told them I had; and then I showed him the porous plaster advertisement.
I just admitted to the whole embarrassing situation. It was really humiliating, but I deserved it. I told him how people always teased me for never having had a boyfriend, and how I had told them I did; and then I showed him the porous plaster ad.
He heard me right through without a word, and then he threw back his big, curly, gray head and laughed.
He listened to me without saying anything, and then he tossed his big, curly, gray head back and laughed.
"This clears up a great many mysterious hints I've been receiving ever since I came to Avonlea," he said, "and finally a Mrs. Gilbert came to my sister this afternoon with a long farrago of nonsense about the love affair I had once had with some Charlotte Holmes here. She declared you had told her about it yourself. I confess I flamed up. I'm a peppery chap, and I thought—I thought—oh, confound it, it might as well out: I thought you were some lank old maid who was amusing herself telling ridiculous stories about me. When you came into the room I knew that, whoever was to blame, you were not."
"This clears up a lot of the mysterious hints I've been getting ever since I arrived in Avonlea," he said, "and finally, a Mrs. Gilbert came to my sister this afternoon with a bunch of nonsense about a love affair I supposedly had with some Charlotte Holmes here. She claimed you told her about it yourself. I admit I got really upset. I'm a fiery guy, and I thought—I thought—oh, forget it, it might as well be said: I thought you were just some skinny old maid having fun making up silly stories about me. But when you walked into the room, I realized that, no matter who was at fault, it wasn't you."
"But I was," I said ruefully. "It wasn't right of me to tell such a story—and it was very silly, too. But who would ever have supposed that there could be a real Cecil Fenwick who had lived in Blakely? I never heard of such a coincidence."
"But I was," I said with regret. "It wasn't right for me to tell such a story—and it was pretty silly, too. But who would have thought there could actually be a real Cecil Fenwick who lived in Blakely? I’ve never heard of such a coincidence."
"It's more than a coincidence," said Mr. Fenwick decidedly. "It's predestination; that is what it is. And now let's forget it and talk of something else."
"It's more than just a coincidence," Mr. Fenwick said firmly. "It's predestination; that's what it is. Now, let’s forget about it and discuss something else."
We talked of something else—or at least Mr. Fenwick did, for I was too ashamed to say much—so long that Nancy got restive and clumped through the hall every five minutes; but Mr. Fenwick never took the hint. When he finally went away he asked if he might come again.
We talked about something else—or at least Mr. Fenwick did, since I was too embarrassed to say much—so long that Nancy became restless and stomped through the hall every five minutes; but Mr. Fenwick never picked up on the hint. When he finally left, he asked if he could come back again.
"It's time we made up that old quarrel, you know," he said, laughing.
"It's time we settled that old argument, you know," he said, laughing.
And I, an old maid of forty, caught myself blushing like a girl. But I felt like a girl, for it was such a relief to have that explanation all over. I couldn't even feel angry with Adella Gilbert. She was always a mischief maker, and when a woman is born that way she is more to be pitied than blamed. I wrote a poem in the blank book before I went to sleep; I hadn't written anything for a month, and it was lovely to be at it once more.
And I, a 40-year-old single woman, found myself blushing like a teenager. But I felt like a teenager because it was such a relief to have that explanation behind me. I couldn't even feel mad at Adella Gilbert. She was always a troublemaker, and when a woman is born that way, she deserves more pity than blame. I wrote a poem in the blank book before going to sleep; I hadn't written anything in a month, and it felt wonderful to be doing it again.
Mr. Fenwick did come again—the very next evening, but one. And he came so often after that that even Nancy got resigned to him. One day I had to tell her something. I shrank from doing it, for I feared it would make her feel badly.
Mr. Fenwick came back—just the next evening, actually. And he started visiting so often after that that even Nancy got used to him. One day, I had to share something with her. I hesitated to do it because I was worried it would upset her.
"Oh, I've been expecting to hear it," she said grimly. "I felt the minute that man came into the house he brought trouble with him. Well, Miss Charlotte, I wish you happiness. I don't know how the climate of California will agree with me, but I suppose I'll have to put up with it."
"Oh, I was expecting to hear that," she said with a serious tone. "I sensed the moment that guy walked into the house that he was bringing trouble. Well, Miss Charlotte, I hope you find happiness. I'm not sure how I'll handle the California weather, but I guess I’ll have to deal with it."
"But, Nancy," I said, "I can't expect you to go away out there with me. It's too much to ask of you."
"But, Nancy," I said, "I can't expect you to go out there with me. It's too much to ask."
"And where else would I be going?" demanded Nancy in genuine astonishment. "How under the canopy could you keep house without me? I'm not going to trust you to the mercies of a yellow Chinee with a pig-tail. Where you go I go, Miss Charlotte, and there's an end of it."
"And where else would I be going?" Nancy asked in genuine surprise. "How on earth could you manage without me? I’m not going to leave you with some guy who has a pig-tail. Wherever you go, I go, Miss Charlotte, and that’s final."
I was very glad, for I hated to think of parting with Nancy even to go with Cecil. As for the blank book, I haven't told my husband about it yet, but I mean to some day. And I've subscribed for the Weekly Advocate again.
I was really happy because I didn't want to think about leaving Nancy, even to be with Cecil. As for the blank book, I haven't mentioned it to my husband yet, but I plan to someday. And I've signed up for the Weekly Advocate again.
III. HER FATHER'S DAUGHTER
"We must invite your Aunt Jane, of course," said Mrs. Spencer.
Rachel made a protesting movement with her large, white, shapely hands—hands which were so different from the thin, dark, twisted ones folded on the table opposite her. The difference was not caused by hard work or the lack of it; Rachel had worked hard all her life. It was a difference inherent in temperament. The Spencers, no matter what they did, or how hard they labored, all had plump, smooth, white hands, with firm, supple fingers; the Chiswicks, even those who toiled not, neither did they spin, had hard, knotted, twisted ones. Moreover, the contrast went deeper than externals, and twined itself with the innermost fibers of life, and thought, and action.
Rachel moved her large, white, shapely hands in protest—hands that looked so different from the thin, dark, twisted ones resting on the table across from her. This difference didn’t come from hard work or the lack of it; Rachel had worked hard all her life. It was a difference rooted in temperament. The Spencers, no matter what they did or how hard they worked, all had plump, smooth, white hands with firm, flexible fingers; the Chiswicks, even those who didn't work or spin, had hard, knotted, twisted hands. Furthermore, the contrast ran deeper than appearances, woven into the very essence of life, thought, and action.
"I don't see why we must invite Aunt Jane," said Rachel, with as much impatience as her soft, throaty voice could express. "Aunt Jane doesn't like me, and I don't like Aunt Jane."
"I don't understand why we have to invite Aunt Jane," Rachel said, sounding as impatient as her soft, raspy voice would allow. "Aunt Jane doesn't like me, and I don't like Aunt Jane."
"I'm sure I don't see why you don't like her," said Mrs. Spencer. "It's ungrateful of you. She has always been very kind to you."
"I'm really not sure why you don't like her," said Mrs. Spencer. "It's pretty ungrateful. She's always been really kind to you."
"She has always been very kind with one hand," smiled Rachel. "I remember the first time I ever saw Aunt Jane. I was six years old. She held out to me a small velvet pincushion with beads on it. And then, because I did not, in my shyness, thank her quite as promptly as I should have done, she rapped my head with her bethimbled finger to 'teach me better manners.' It hurt horribly—I've always had a tender head. And that has been Aunt Jane's way ever since. When I grew too big for the thimble treatment she used her tongue instead—and that hurt worse. And you know, mother, how she used to talk about my engagement. She is able to spoil the whole atmosphere if she happens to come in a bad humor. I don't want her."
"She's always been really nice with one hand," Rachel smiled. "I remember the first time I saw Aunt Jane. I was six years old. She handed me a small velvet pincushion with beads on it. And then, because I didn’t thank her right away due to my shyness, she tapped my head with her thimble-clad finger to 'teach me better manners.' It hurt a lot—I’ve always had a sensitive head. And that’s how Aunt Jane has been ever since. When I got too big for the thimble treatment, she switched to using her words instead—and that hurt even more. And you know, Mom, how she used to talk about my engagement. She can ruin the whole vibe if she shows up in a bad mood. I don’t want her."
"She must be invited. People would talk so if she wasn't."
"She has to be invited. People will gossip if she isn't."
"I don't see why they should. She's only my great-aunt by marriage. I wouldn't mind in the least if people did talk. They'll talk anyway—you know that, mother."
"I don't see why they should. She's just my great-aunt by marriage. I wouldn't care at all if people talked. They'll talk regardless—you know that, Mom."
"Oh, we must have her," said Mrs. Spencer, with the indifferent finality that marked all her words and decisions—a finality against which it was seldom of any avail to struggle. People, who knew, rarely attempted it; strangers occasionally did, misled by the deceit of appearances.
"Oh, we have to have her," said Mrs. Spencer, with the uncaring certainty that characterized all her words and decisions—a certainty that rarely made it worthwhile to fight back. People who understood her seldom tried; outsiders sometimes did, fooled by the illusion of appearances.
Isabella Spencer was a wisp of a woman, with a pale, pretty face, uncertainly-colored, long-lashed grayish eyes, and great masses of dull, soft, silky brown hair. She had delicate aquiline features and a small, babyish red mouth. She looked as if a breath would sway her. The truth was that a tornado would hardly have caused her to swerve an inch from her chosen path.
Isabella Spencer was a fragile woman, with a pale, pretty face, vaguely colored, long-lashed grayish eyes, and thick, soft, silky brown hair. She had delicate, pronounced features and a small, childlike red mouth. She looked like a breath could move her. The reality was that even a tornado would hardly make her veer an inch from her chosen path.
For a moment Rachel looked rebellious; then she yielded, as she generally did in all differences of opinion with her mother. It was not worth while to quarrel over the comparatively unimportant matter of Aunt Jane's invitation. A quarrel might be inevitable later on; Rachel wanted to save all her resources for that. She gave her shoulders a shrug, and wrote Aunt Jane's name down on the wedding list in her large, somewhat untidy handwriting—a handwriting which always seemed to irritate her mother. Rachel never could understand this irritation. She could never guess that it was because her writing looked so much like that in a certain packet of faded letters which Mrs. Spencer kept at the bottom of an old horsehair trunk in her bedroom. They were postmarked from seaports all over the world. Mrs. Spencer never read them or looked at them; but she remembered every dash and curve of the handwriting.
For a moment, Rachel looked defiant; then she gave in, as she usually did whenever she disagreed with her mom. It wasn't worth arguing over the relatively minor issue of Aunt Jane's invitation. There might be a real argument later, and Rachel wanted to save her energy for that. She shrugged and wrote Aunt Jane's name on the wedding list in her large, somewhat messy handwriting—a handwriting that always seemed to annoy her mom. Rachel could never understand why this bothered her. She could never guess it was because her writing resembled that of a certain set of faded letters Mrs. Spencer kept at the bottom of an old horsehair trunk in her bedroom. They were postmarked from all over the world. Mrs. Spencer never read or looked at them, but she remembered every dash and curve of that handwriting.
Isabella Spencer had overcome many things in her life by the sheer force and persistency of her will. But she could not get the better of heredity. Rachel was her father's daughter at all points, and Isabella Spencer escaped hating her for it only by loving her the more fiercely because of it. Even so, there were many times when she had to avert her eyes from Rachel's face because of the pang of the more subtle remembrances; and never, since her child was born, could Isabella Spencer bear to gaze on that child's face in sleep.
Isabella Spencer had overcome many challenges in her life through sheer determination and persistence. However, she couldn’t escape the impact of her genetics. Rachel was her father's daughter in every way, and Isabella Spencer only managed to avoid resenting her for it by loving her even more intensely because of it. Even so, there were many instances when she had to look away from Rachel's face due to the painful reminders; and since the birth of her child, Isabella Spencer could never bring herself to look at that child’s sleeping face.
Rachel was to be married to Frank Bell in a fortnight's time. Mrs. Spencer was pleased with the match. She was very fond of Frank, and his farm was so near to her own that she would not lose Rachel altogether. Rachel fondly believed that her mother would not lose her at all; but Isabella Spencer, wiser by olden experience, knew what her daughter's marriage must mean to her, and steeled her heart to bear it with what fortitude she might.
Rachel was set to marry Frank Bell in two weeks. Mrs. Spencer was happy with the match. She really liked Frank, and his farm was so close to hers that she wouldn’t completely lose Rachel. Rachel believed her mother wouldn’t lose her at all; however, Isabella Spencer, having learned from past experiences, understood what her daughter’s marriage would mean for her and prepared herself to cope with it as best as she could.
They were in the sitting-room, deciding on the wedding guests and other details. The September sunshine was coming in through the waving boughs of the apple tree that grew close up to the low window. The glints wavered over Rachel's face, as white as a wood lily, with only a faint dream of rose in the cheeks. She wore her sleek, golden hair in a quaint arch around it. Her forehead was very broad and white. She was fresh and young and hopeful. The mother's heart contracted in a spasm of pain as she looked at her. How like the girl was to—to—to the Spencers! Those easy, curving outlines, those large, mirthful blue eyes, that finely molded chin! Isabella Spencer shut her lips firmly and crushed down some unbidden, unwelcome memories.
They were in the living room, figuring out the wedding guest list and other details. The September sunlight was streaming in through the swaying branches of the apple tree that grew right next to the low window. The light danced across Rachel's face, which was as pale as a wood lily, with just a hint of rosy color in her cheeks. She wore her smooth, golden hair in a charming arch around her face. Her forehead was broad and fair. She looked fresh, young, and full of hope. The mother's heart tightened in a pang of pain as she gazed at her. How much the girl resembled—the Spencers! Those soft, flowing curves, those large, playful blue eyes, that beautifully shaped chin! Isabella Spencer pressed her lips together tightly and pushed down some unwelcome memories.
"There will be about sixty guests, all told," she said, as if she were thinking of nothing else. "We must move the furniture out of this room and set the supper-table here. The dining-room is too small. We must borrow Mrs. Bell's forks and spoons. She offered to lend them. I'd never have been willing to ask her. The damask table cloths with the ribbon pattern must be bleached to-morrow. Nobody else in Avonlea has such tablecloths. And we'll put the little dining-room table on the hall landing, upstairs, for the presents."
"There will be about sixty guests, total," she said, as if she were thinking of nothing else. "We need to move the furniture out of this room and set the dinner table here. The dining room is too small. We should borrow Mrs. Bell's forks and spoons. She offered to lend them. I would never have asked her. The damask tablecloths with the ribbon pattern need to be bleached tomorrow. No one else in Avonlea has tablecloths like these. And we'll put the little dining room table on the hall landing upstairs for the gifts."
Rachel was not thinking about the presents, or the housewifely details of the wedding. Her breath was coming quicker, and the faint blush on her smooth cheeks had deepened to crimson. She knew that a critical moment was approaching. With a steady hand she wrote the last name on her list and drew a line under it.
Rachel wasn’t focused on the gifts or the household details of the wedding. Her breath was getting faster, and the light blush on her smooth cheeks had turned bright red. She realized that a crucial moment was coming. With a steady hand, she wrote the last name on her list and drew a line underneath it.
"Well, have you finished?" asked her mother impatiently. "Hand it here and let me look over it to make sure that you haven't left anybody out that should be in."
"Have you finished yet?" her mother asked impatiently. "Give it to me so I can check that you haven't missed anyone who should be included."
Rachel passed the paper across the table in silence. The room seemed to her to have grown very still. She could hear the flies buzzing on the panes, the soft purr of the wind about the low eaves and through the apple boughs, the jerky beating of her own heart. She felt frightened and nervous, but resolute.
Rachel quietly slid the paper across the table. The room felt completely still to her. She could hear the flies buzzing against the window, the gentle rustle of the wind around the low eaves and through the apple branches, and the erratic thump of her own heart. She felt scared and anxious, but determined.
Mrs. Spencer glanced down the list, murmuring the names aloud and nodding approval at each. But when she came to the last name, she did not utter it. She cast a black glance at Rachel, and a spark leaped up in the depths of the pale eyes. On her face were anger, amazement, incredulity, the last predominating.
Mrs. Spencer looked down the list, saying the names out loud and nodding in approval at each one. But when she got to the last name, she didn’t say it. She shot a dark look at Rachel, and a spark ignited in the depths of her pale eyes. Her face showed anger, surprise, and disbelief, with disbelief being the most prominent.
The final name on the list of wedding guests was the name of David Spencer. David Spencer lived alone in a little cottage down at the Cove. He was a combination of sailor and fisherman. He was also Isabella Spencer's husband and Rachel's father.
The last name on the guest list for the wedding was David Spencer. David Spencer lived alone in a small cottage at the Cove. He was both a sailor and a fisherman. He was also Isabella Spencer's husband and Rachel's father.
"Rachel Spencer, have you taken leave of your senses? What do you mean by such nonsense as this?"
"Rachel Spencer, have you lost your mind? What are you talking about with this nonsense?"
"I simply mean that I am going to invite my father to my wedding," answered Rachel quietly.
"I just mean that I'm going to invite my dad to my wedding," Rachel replied softly.
"Not in my house," cried Mrs. Spencer, her lips as white as if her fiery tone had scathed them.
"Not in my house," shouted Mrs. Spencer, her lips as pale as if her fiery tone had burned them.
Rachel leaned forward, folded her large, capable hands deliberately on the table, and gazed unflinchingly into her mother's bitter face. Her fright and nervousness were gone. Now that the conflict was actually on she found herself rather enjoying it. She wondered a little at herself, and thought that she must be wicked. She was not given to self-analysis, or she might have concluded that it was the sudden assertion of her own personality, so long dominated by her mother's, which she was finding so agreeable.
Rachel leaned forward, folded her strong, capable hands intentionally on the table, and stared steadily into her mother's bitter face. Her fear and anxiety had vanished. Now that the conflict was real, she actually found it quite enjoyable. She questioned herself a bit and thought that maybe she was being bad. If she were more introspective, she might have realized that it was the sudden emergence of her own personality, which had long been overshadowed by her mother's, that she was finding so satisfying.
"Then there will be no wedding, mother," she said. "Frank and I will simply go to the manse, be married, and go home. If I cannot invite my father to see me married, no one else shall be invited."
"Then there won't be a wedding, Mom," she said. "Frank and I will just go to the church, get married, and head home. If I can't invite my dad to see me get married, then no one else will be invited."
Her lips narrowed tightly. For the first time in her life Isabella Spencer saw a reflection of herself looking back at her from her daughter's face—a strange, indefinable resemblance that was more of soul and spirit than of flesh and blood. In spite of her anger her heart thrilled to it. As never before, she realized that this girl was her own and her husband's child, a living bond between them wherein their conflicting natures mingled and were reconciled. She realized too, that Rachel, so long sweetly meek and obedient, meant to have her own way in this case—and would have it.
Her lips pressed together tightly. For the first time in her life, Isabella Spencer saw a reflection of herself looking back at her from her daughter's face—a strange, indescribable resemblance that was more about soul and spirit than about flesh and blood. Despite her anger, her heart thrilled at the sight. For the first time, she understood that this girl was her and her husband’s child, a living connection between them where their conflicting natures blended and found harmony. She also realized that Rachel, who had always been sweetly meek and obedient, intended to get her own way in this situation—and would succeed.
"I must say that I can't see why you are so set on having your father see you married," she said with a bitter sneer. "HE has never remembered that he is your father. He cares nothing about you—never did care."
"I have to say, I don't get why you're so determined to have your dad see you get married," she said with a bitter sneer. "He’s never really remembered that he’s your father. He doesn’t care about you—never has."
Rachel took no notice of this taunt. It had no power to hurt her, its venom being neutralized by a secret knowledge of her own in which her mother had no share.
Rachel ignored the taunt. It couldn’t hurt her; its sting was softened by a secret knowledge she possessed that her mother didn’t share.
"Either I shall invite my father to my wedding, or I shall not have a wedding," she repeated steadily, adopting her mother's own effective tactics of repetition undistracted by argument.
"Either I'm inviting my dad to my wedding, or I’m not having a wedding," she repeated firmly, using her mom's effective tactic of sticking to her point without getting swayed by any arguments.
"Invite him then," snapped Mrs. Spencer, with the ungraceful anger of a woman, long accustomed to having her own way, compelled for once to yield. "It'll be like chips in porridge anyhow—neither good nor harm. He won't come."
"Invite him then," snapped Mrs. Spencer, with the awkward anger of a woman who was used to getting her own way but had to give in this time. "It'll be like adding chips to porridge anyway—neither good nor bad. He won't come."
Rachel made no response. Now that the battle was over, and the victory won, she found herself tremulously on the verge of tears. She rose quickly and went upstairs to her own room, a dim little place shadowed by the white birches growing thickly outside—a virginal room, where everything bespoke the maiden. She lay down on the blue and white patchwork quilt on her bed, and cried softly and bitterly.
Rachel didn't say anything. Now that the battle was over and the victory achieved, she found herself trembling on the brink of tears. She quickly got up and went upstairs to her room, a small, dim space shaded by the white birches densely growing outside—a pure room, where everything reflected her youth. She lay down on the blue and white patchwork quilt on her bed and cried softly and bitterly.
Her heart, at this crisis in her life, yearned for her father, who was almost a stranger to her. She knew that her mother had probably spoken the truth when she said that he would not come. Rachel felt that her marriage vows would be lacking in some indefinable sacredness if her father were not by to hear them spoken.
Her heart, at this moment in her life, longed for her father, who was almost a stranger to her. She knew her mother was probably right when she said he wouldn’t come. Rachel felt that her marriage vows would be missing some unexplainable significance if her father wasn't there to hear them.
Twenty-five years before this, David Spencer and Isabella Chiswick had been married. Spiteful people said there could be no doubt that Isabella had married David for love, since he had neither lands nor money to tempt her into a match of bargain and sale. David was a handsome fellow, with the blood of a seafaring race in his veins.
Twenty-five years earlier, David Spencer and Isabella Chiswick got married. Bitter people claimed there was no question that Isabella married David out of love, since he had neither land nor money to lure her into a marriage of convenience. David was a good-looking guy, with the blood of a seafaring family in his veins.
He had been a sailor, like his father and grandfather before him; but, when he married Isabella, she induced him to give up the sea and settle down with her on a snug farm her father had left her. Isabella liked farming, and loved her fertile acres and opulent orchards. She abhorred the sea and all that pertained to it, less from any dread of its dangers than from an inbred conviction that sailors were "low" in the social scale—a species of necessary vagabonds. In her eyes there was a taint of disgrace in such a calling. David must be transformed into a respectable, home-abiding tiller of broad lands.
He had been a sailor, just like his father and grandfather before him; however, when he married Isabella, she convinced him to leave the sea and settle down with her on a cozy farm her father had left her. Isabella enjoyed farming and cherished her fertile fields and lush orchards. She hated the sea and everything related to it, not so much out of fear of its dangers but because she inherently believed that sailors were "low" on the social ladder—a kind of necessary drifter. To her, there was a stigma attached to that profession. David needed to be changed into a respectable, home-loving farmer of vast lands.
For five years all went well enough. If, at times, David's longing for the sea troubled him, he stifled it, and listened not to its luring voice. He and Isabella were very happy; the only drawback to their happiness lay in the regretted fact that they were childless.
For five years, everything was pretty good. If David sometimes felt an urge for the sea bother him, he suppressed it and ignored its tempting call. He and Isabella were very happy; the only downside to their happiness was that they wished they had children.
Then, in the sixth year, came a crisis and a change. Captain Barrett, an old crony of David's, wanted him to go with him on a voyage as mate. At the suggestion all David's long-repressed craving for the wide blue wastes of the ocean, and the wind whistling through the spars with the salt foam in its breath, broke forth with a passion all the more intense for that very repression. He must go on that voyage with James Barrett—he MUST! That over, he would be contented again; but go he must. His soul struggled within him like a fettered thing.
Then, in the sixth year, a crisis and a change happened. Captain Barrett, an old buddy of David's, wanted him to join him on a voyage as a first mate. Just hearing this suggestion unleashed all of David's long-suppressed desire for the vast, open ocean, with the wind whistling through the sails and the salty spray in the air, coming on strong with a passion that was even greater because it had been held back for so long. He had to go on that voyage with James Barrett—he HAD to! After that, he would feel fulfilled again; but he had to go. His soul was fighting within him like a trapped creature.
Isabella opposed the scheme vehemently and unwisely, with mordant sarcasm and unjust reproaches. The latent obstinacy of David's character came to the support of his longing—a longing which Isabella, with five generations of land-loving ancestry behind her, could not understand at all.
Isabella strongly opposed the plan, using sharp sarcasm and unfair criticism. David’s hidden stubbornness kicked in to back up his desire—a desire that Isabella, with five generations of land-loving ancestors, couldn’t grasp at all.
He was determined to go, and he told Isabella so.
He was set on going, and he let Isabella know.
"I'm sick of plowing and milking cows," he said hotly.
"I'm tired of plowing and milking cows," he said angrily.
"You mean that you are sick of a respectable life," sneered Isabella.
"You’re saying you’re tired of living a respectable life," sneered Isabella.
"Perhaps," said David, with a contemptuous shrug of his shoulders. "Anyway, I'm going."
"Maybe," David said, shrugging his shoulders in disdain. "Either way, I'm leaving."
"If you go on this voyage, David Spencer, you need never come back here," said Isabella resolutely.
"If you go on this journey, David Spencer, you never have to come back here," said Isabella firmly.
David had gone; he did not believe that she meant it. Isabella believed that he did not care whether she meant it or not. David Spencer left behind him a woman, calm outwardly, inwardly a seething volcano of anger, wounded pride, and thwarted will.
David was gone; he didn’t think she was serious. Isabella thought he didn’t care if she was serious or not. David Spencer left behind a woman who looked calm on the outside but was actually a boiling volcano of anger, hurt pride, and frustrated determination.
He found precisely the same woman when he came home, tanned, joyous, tamed for a while of his wanderlust, ready, with something of real affection, to go back to the farm fields and the stock-yard.
He found exactly the same woman when he got home, tanned, happy, briefly calmed from his wanderlust, ready, with genuine affection, to return to the farm fields and the stockyard.
Isabella met him at the door, smileless, cold-eyed, set-lipped.
Isabella met him at the door, devoid of a smile, with cold eyes and tightly pressed lips.
"What do you want here?" she said, in the tone she was accustomed to use to tramps and Syrian peddlers.
"What do you want here?" she asked, using the tone she usually reserved for homeless people and Syrian vendors.
"Want!" David's surprise left him at a loss for words. "Want! Why, I—I—want my wife. I've come home."
"Want!" David was so shocked that he didn't know what to say. "Want! Well, I—I—want my wife. I've come back home."
"This is not your home. I'm no wife of yours. You made your choice when you went away," Isabella had replied. Then she had gone in, shut the door, and locked it in his face.
"This isn't your home. I'm not your wife. You made your choice when you left," Isabella had replied. Then she went inside, shut the door, and locked it in his face.
David had stood there for a few minutes like a man stunned. Then he had turned and walked away up the lane under the birches. He said nothing—then or at any other time. From that day no reference to his wife or her concerns ever crossed his lips.
David stood there for a few minutes, looking stunned. Then he turned and walked away up the path under the birches. He said nothing—then or at any other time. From that day on, he never mentioned his wife or her concerns.
He went directly to the harbor, and shipped with Captain Barrett for another voyage. When he came back from that in a month's time, he bought a small house and had it hauled to the "Cove," a lonely inlet from which no other human habitation was visible. Between his sea voyages he lived there the life of a recluse; fishing and playing his violin were his only employments. He went nowhere and encouraged no visitors.
He went straight to the harbor and signed on with Captain Barrett for another trip. When he returned a month later, he bought a small house and had it moved to the "Cove," a secluded inlet with no other signs of human life. Between his sea voyages, he lived there like a recluse; fishing and playing his violin were his only activities. He didn't go out and welcomed no visitors.
Isabella Spencer also had adopted the tactics of silence. When the scandalized Chiswicks, Aunt Jane at their head, tried to patch up the matter with argument and entreaty, Isabella met them stonily, seeming not to hear what they said, and making no response. She worsted them totally. As Aunt Jane said in disgust, "What can you do with a woman who won't even TALK?"
Isabella Spencer had also chosen to remain silent. When the outraged Chiswicks, led by Aunt Jane, attempted to resolve the issue through debate and pleas, Isabella responded with an icy demeanor, appearing not to listen to them at all and offering no reply. She completely outmaneuvered them. As Aunt Jane expressed in frustration, "What can you do with a woman who won't even TALK?"
Five months after David Spencer had been turned from his wife's door, Rachel was born. Perhaps, if David had come to them then, with due penitence and humility, Isabella's heart, softened by the pain and joy of her long and ardently desired motherhood might have cast out the rankling venom of resentment that had poisoned it and taken him back into it. But David had not come; he gave no sign of knowing or caring that his once longed-for child had been born.
Five months after David Spencer had been turned away from his wife's door, Rachel was born. Maybe, if David had come to them then with genuine remorse and humility, Isabella's heart, softened by the pain and joy of her long-awaited motherhood, might have pushed aside the lingering bitterness that had tainted it and welcomed him back. But David didn't come; he showed no indication that he knew or cared that his once-desired child had been born.
When Isabella was able to be about again, her pale face was harder than ever; and, had there been about her any one discerning enough to notice it, there was a subtle change in her bearing and manner. A certain nervous expectancy, a fluttering restlessness was gone. Isabella had ceased to hope secretly that her husband would yet come back. She had in her secret soul thought he would; and she had meant to forgive him when she had humbled him sufficiently, and when he had abased himself as she considered he should. But now she knew that he did not mean to sue for her forgiveness; and the hate that sprang out of her old love was a rank and speedy and persistent growth.
When Isabella was up and about again, her pale face was tougher than ever; and if there had been anyone perceptive enough to notice, there was a subtle change in her demeanor and attitude. A certain nervous anticipation, a fluttering restlessness, had vanished. Isabella had stopped secretly hoping that her husband would come back. Deep down, she had thought he would; and she had planned to forgive him once she had humbled him enough and once he had degraded himself as she believed he should. But now she realized that he had no intention of seeking her forgiveness, and the hatred that emerged from her former love was a strong, quick, and persistent growth.
Rachel, from her earliest recollection, had been vaguely conscious of a difference between her own life and the lives of her playmates. For a long time it puzzled her childish brain. Finally, she reasoned it out that the difference consisted in the fact that they had fathers and she, Rachel Spencer, had none—not even in the graveyard, as Carrie Bell and Lilian Boulter had. Why was this? Rachel went straight to her mother, put one little dimpled hand on Isabella Spencer's knee, looked up with great searching blue eyes, and said gravely,
Rachel, since she could remember, had been somewhat aware of a difference between her life and the lives of her friends. For a long time, it confused her young mind. Eventually, she figured out that the difference was that they had fathers, while she, Rachel Spencer, did not—she didn’t even have one buried in the cemetery like Carrie Bell and Lilian Boulter. Why was that? Rachel went straight to her mother, placed one dimpled hand on Isabella Spencer's knee, looked up with her big, curious blue eyes, and said seriously,
"Mother, why haven't I got a father like the other little girls?"
"Mom, why don’t I have a dad like the other little girls?"
Isabella Spencer laid aside her work, took the seven year old child on her lap, and told her the whole story in a few direct and bitter words that imprinted themselves indelibly on Rachel's remembrance. She understood clearly and hopelessly that she could never have a father—that, in this respect, she must always be unlike other people.
Isabella Spencer set her work aside, picked up the seven-year-old child and told her the whole story in a few straightforward and painful words that stuck with Rachel forever. She understood clearly and hopelessly that she could never have a father—that, in this way, she would always be different from other people.
"Your father cares nothing for you," said Isabella Spencer in conclusion. "He never did care. You must never speak of him to anybody again."
"Your dad doesn't care about you at all," Isabella Spencer said in conclusion. "He never did care. You must never talk about him to anyone again."
Rachel slipped silently from her mother's knee and ran out to the Springtime garden with a full heart. There she cried passionately over her mother's last words. It seemed to her a terrible thing that her father should not love her, and a cruel thing that she must never talk of him.
Rachel quietly got off her mother's knee and ran into the spring garden with a full heart. There, she cried intensely over her mother's last words. It felt terrible to her that her father didn't love her, and it seemed cruel that she could never mention him.
Oddly enough, Rachel's sympathies were all with her father, in as far as she could understand the old quarrel. She did not dream of disobeying her mother and she did not disobey her. Never again did the child speak of her father; but Isabella had not forbidden her to think of him, and thenceforth Rachel thought of him constantly—so constantly that, in some strange way, he seemed to become an unguessed-of part of her inner life—the unseen, ever-present companion in all her experiences.
Oddly enough, Rachel felt all her sympathy for her father, as much as she could understand the old conflict. She would never think of disobeying her mother, and she didn't. The child never mentioned her father again, but Isabella hadn't stopped her from thinking about him, so from that point on, Rachel thought about him all the time—so much that, in a strange way, he seemed to become an unrecognized part of her inner life—the unseen, ever-present companion in all her experiences.
She was an imaginative child, and in fancy she made the acquaintance of her father. She had never seen him, but he was more real to her than most of the people she had seen. He played and talked with her as her mother never did; he walked with her in the orchard and field and garden; he sat by her pillow in the twilight; to him she whispered secrets she told to none other.
She was a creative kid, and in her imagination, she got to know her father. She had never met him, but he felt more real to her than most of the people she had encountered. He played and chatted with her in a way her mother never did; he walked with her in the orchard, fields, and garden; he sat by her pillow during twilight; to him, she shared secrets that she told no one else.
Once her mother asked her impatiently why she talked so much to herself.
Once her mother asked her impatiently why she talked to herself so much.
"I am not talking to myself. I am talking to a very dear friend of mine," Rachel answered gravely.
"I’m not talking to myself. I’m talking to a very close friend of mine," Rachel replied seriously.
"Silly child," laughed her mother, half tolerantly, half disapprovingly.
"Silly child," her mother laughed, part amused, part disapproving.
Two years later something wonderful had happened to Rachel. One summer afternoon she had gone to the harbor with several of her little playmates. Such a jaunt was a rare treat to the child, for Isabella Spencer seldom allowed her to go from home with anybody but herself. And Isabella was not an entertaining companion. Rachel never particularly enjoyed an outing with her mother.
Two years later, something amazing happened for Rachel. One summer afternoon, she went to the harbor with a few of her little friends. This trip was a special treat for her because Isabella Spencer rarely let her go out with anyone other than herself. And Isabella wasn’t a fun companion. Rachel never really enjoyed spending time outside with her mother.
The children wandered far along the shore; at last they came to a place that Rachel had never seen before. It was a shallow cove where the waters purred on the yellow sands. Beyond it, the sea was laughing and flashing and preening and alluring, like a beautiful, coquettish woman. Outside, the wind was boisterous and rollicking; here, it was reverent and gentle. A white boat was hauled up on the skids, and there was a queer little house close down to the sands, like a big shell tossed up by the waves. Rachel looked on it all with secret delight; she, too, loved the lonely places of sea and shore, as her father had done. She wanted to linger awhile in this dear spot and revel in it.
The children wandered far along the shore; eventually, they came to a place that Rachel had never seen before. It was a shallow cove where the water lapped gently on the yellow sands. Beyond it, the sea sparkled and danced, flirtatious like a beautiful woman. Outside, the wind was wild and playful; here, it was calm and gentle. A white boat was pulled up on the skids, and there was a peculiar little house close to the sands, like a large shell washed up by the waves. Rachel took it all in with secret pleasure; she, too, cherished the quiet places by the sea and shore, just like her father had. She wanted to stay awhile in this beloved spot and soak it all in.
"I'm tired, girls," she announced. "I'm going to stay here and rest for a spell. I don't want to go to Gull Point. You go on yourselves; I'll wait for you here."
"I'm tired, girls," she said. "I'm going to stay here and rest for a bit. I don't want to go to Gull Point. You all go ahead; I'll wait for you here."
"All alone?" asked Carrie Bell, wonderingly.
"All by yourself?" asked Carrie Bell, curiously.
"I'm not so afraid of being alone as some people are," said Rachel, with dignity.
"I'm not as afraid of being alone as some people are," Rachel said, with dignity.
The other girls went on, leaving Rachel sitting on the skids, in the shadow of the big white boat. She sat there for a time dreaming happily, with her blue eyes on the far, pearly horizon, and her golden head leaning against the boat.
The other girls continued on, leaving Rachel sitting on the edge, in the shadow of the big white boat. She sat there for a while, happily daydreaming, with her blue eyes fixed on the distant, pearly horizon, and her golden hair resting against the boat.
Suddenly she heard a step behind her. When she turned her head a man was standing beside her, looking down at her with big, merry, blue eyes. Rachel was quite sure that she had never seen him before; yet those eyes seemed to her to have a strangely familiar look. She liked him. She felt no shyness nor timidity, such as usually afflicted her in the presence of strangers.
Suddenly, she heard a step behind her. When she turned her head, a man was standing next to her, looking down at her with bright, cheerful blue eyes. Rachel was certain she had never seen him before, yet those eyes seemed oddly familiar. She liked him. She didn't feel any shyness or nervousness, which usually bothered her around strangers.
He was a tall, stout man, dressed in a rough fishing suit, and wearing an oilskin cap on his head. His hair was very thick and curly and fair; his cheeks were tanned and red; his teeth, when he smiled, were very even and white. Rachel thought he must be quite old, because there was a good deal of gray mixed with his fair hair.
He was a tall, heavyset guy, wearing a rugged fishing outfit and an oilskin cap on his head. His hair was thick, curly, and light-colored; his cheeks were tanned and rosy; and his teeth were straight and white when he smiled. Rachel thought he might be pretty old because there was a lot of gray mixed in with his light hair.
"Are you watching for the mermaids?" he said.
"Are you on the lookout for the mermaids?" he said.
Rachel nodded gravely. From any one else she would have scrupulously hidden such a thought.
Rachel nodded seriously. From anyone else, she would have carefully hidden such a thought.
"Yes, I am," she said. "Mother says there is no such thing as a mermaid, but I like to think there is. Have you ever seen one?"
"Yeah, I am," she said. "Mom says mermaids aren’t real, but I like to believe they are. Have you ever seen one?"
The big man sat down on a bleached log of driftwood and smiled at her.
The big guy sat on a sun-bleached piece of driftwood and smiled at her.
"No, I'm sorry to say that I haven't. But I have seen many other very wonderful things. I might tell you about some of them, if you would come over here and sit by me."
"No, I’m sorry to say I haven’t. But I have seen many other amazing things. I can tell you about some of them if you come over here and sit with me."
Rachel went unhesitatingly. When she reached him he pulled her down on his knee, and she liked it.
Rachel went without hesitation. When she got to him, he pulled her down onto his knee, and she enjoyed it.
"What a nice little craft you are," he said. "Do you suppose, now, that you could give me a kiss?"
"What a nice little craft you are," he said. "Do you think you could give me a kiss?"
As a rule, Rachel hated kissing. She could seldom be prevailed upon to kiss even her uncles—who knew it and liked to tease her for kisses until they aggravated her so terribly that she told them she couldn't bear men. But now she promptly put her arms about this strange man's neck and gave him a hearty smack.
As a rule, Rachel hated kissing. She could rarely be convinced to kiss even her uncles—who were aware of this and enjoyed teasing her for kisses until they annoyed her so much that she told them she couldn't stand men. But now she quickly wrapped her arms around this stranger's neck and gave him a big kiss.
"I like you," she said frankly.
"I like you," she said honestly.
She felt his arms tighten suddenly about her. The blue eyes looking into hers grew misty and very tender. Then, all at once, Rachel knew who he was. He was her father. She did not say anything, but she laid her curly head down on his shoulder and felt a great happiness, as of one who had come into some longed-for haven.
She felt his arms suddenly tighten around her. The blue eyes looking into hers became misty and very gentle. Then, all at once, Rachel realized who he was. He was her father. She didn’t say anything, but she rested her curly head on his shoulder and felt a deep happiness, like someone who had finally reached a long-desired safe place.
If David Spencer realized that she understood he said nothing. Instead, he began to tell her fascinating stories of far lands he had visited, and strange things he had seen. Rachel listened entranced, as if she were hearkening to a fairy tale. Yes, he was just as she had dreamed him. She had always been sure he could tell beautiful stories.
If David Spencer knew that she understood, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he started sharing captivating stories about distant places he had traveled to and unusual things he had witnessed. Rachel listened, spellbound, as if she were hearing a fairy tale. Yes, he was exactly how she had imagined him. She had always believed he could tell beautiful stories.
"Come up to the house and I'll show you some pretty things," he said finally.
"Come up to the house and I'll show you some nice things," he said finally.
Then followed a wonderful hour. The little low-ceilinged room, with its square window, into which he took her, was filled with the flotsam and jetsam of his roving life—things beautiful and odd and strange beyond all telling. The things that pleased Rachel most were two huge shells on the chimney piece—pale pink shells with big crimson and purple spots.
Then came an amazing hour. The small room with the low ceiling and square window where he took her was filled with the random treasures from his adventurous life—items beautiful, unusual, and incredibly intriguing. What pleased Rachel the most were the two large shells on the mantel—light pink shells with bold crimson and purple spots.
"Oh, I didn't know there could be such pretty things in the world," she exclaimed.
"Oh, I had no idea there could be such beautiful things in the world," she exclaimed.
"If you would like," began the big man; then he paused for a moment. "I'll show you something prettier still."
"If you want," said the big man, then he paused for a moment. "I'll show you something even nicer."
Rachel felt vaguely that he meant to say something else when he began; but she forgot to wonder what it was when she saw what he brought out of a little corner cupboard. It was a teapot of some fine, glistening purple ware, coiled over by golden dragons with gilded claws and scales. The lid looked like a beautiful golden flower and the handle was a coil of a dragon's tail. Rachel sat and looked at it rapt-eyed.
Rachel had a sense that he was about to say something more when he started, but she lost that thought as soon as she saw what he took out of a small corner cupboard. It was a teapot made of stunning, shiny purple ceramic, decorated with golden dragons that had gilded claws and scales. The lid resembled a beautiful golden flower, and the handle was shaped like a coiled dragon's tail. Rachel sat there, gazing at it in awe.
"That's the only thing of any value I have in the world—now," he said.
"That's the only thing I really value in the world—right now," he said.
Rachel knew there was something very sad in his eyes and voice. She longed to kiss him again and comfort him. But suddenly he began to laugh, and then he rummaged out some goodies for her to eat, sweetmeats more delicious than she had ever imagined. While she nibbled them he took down an old violin and played music that made her want to dance and sing. Rachel was perfectly happy. She wished she might stay forever in that low, dim room with all its treasures.
Rachel could see there was something really sad in his eyes and voice. She wanted to kiss him again and make him feel better. But then he suddenly started laughing and pulled out some treats for her to eat, sweets more delicious than she had ever imagined. While she nibbled on them, he picked up an old violin and played music that made her want to dance and sing. Rachel felt completely happy. She wished she could stay forever in that cozy, dim room filled with all its treasures.
"I see your little friends coming around the point," he said, finally. "I suppose you must go. Put the rest of the goodies in your pocket."
"I see your little friends coming around the corner," he said, finally. "I guess you have to go. Put the rest of the snacks in your pocket."
He took her up in his arms and held her tightly against his breast for a single moment. She felt him kissing her hair.
He picked her up in his arms and held her close to his chest for a brief moment. She felt him kissing her hair.
"There, run along, little girl. Good-by," he said gently.
"There, go on now, little girl. Goodbye," he said softly.
"Why don't you ask me to come and see you again?" cried Rachel, half in tears. "I'm coming ANYHOW."
"Why don't you invite me to visit you again?" Rachel exclaimed, almost in tears. "I’m coming ANYWAY."
"If you can come, COME," he said. "If you don't come, I shall know it is because you can't—and that is much to know. I'm very, very, VERY glad, little woman, that you have come once."
"If you can make it, then come," he said. "If you can't come, I'll know it's because you can't— and that's important to know. I'm really, really, REALLY glad, little woman, that you managed to come at least once."
Rachel was sitting demurely on the skids when her companions came back. They had not seen her leaving the house, and she said not a word to them of her experiences. She only smiled mysteriously when they asked her if she had been lonesome.
Rachel was sitting quietly on the steps when her friends returned. They hadn’t noticed her leaving the house, and she said nothing about what she had been through. She just smiled mysteriously when they asked her if she had felt lonely.
That night, for the first time, she mentioned her father's name in her prayers. She never forgot to do so afterwards. She always said, "bless mother—and father," with an instinctive pause between the two names—a pause which indicated new realization of the tragedy which had sundered them. And the tone in which she said "father" was softer and more tender than the one which voiced "mother."
That night, for the first time, she mentioned her father's name in her prayers. She never forgot to do so afterwards. She always said, "bless mom—and dad," with an instinctive pause between the two names—a pause that showed her new understanding of the tragedy that had separated them. And the way she said "dad" was softer and more tender than the way she said "mom."
Rachel never visited the Cove again. Isabella Spencer discovered that the children had been there, and, although she knew nothing of Rachel's interview with her father, she told the child that she must never again go to that part of the shore.
Rachel never went back to the Cove. Isabella Spencer found out that the kids had been there, and even though she didn’t know anything about Rachel’s talk with her dad, she told the child that she could never go to that part of the beach again.
Rachel shed many a bitter tear in secret over this command; but she obeyed it. Thenceforth there had been no communication between her and her father, save the unworded messages of soul to soul across whatever may divide them.
Rachel cried many bitter tears in secret over this command, but she followed it. From then on, there was no communication between her and her father, except for the silent messages exchanged from soul to soul across whatever might separate them.
David Spencer's invitation to his daughter's wedding was sent with the others, and the remaining days of Rachel's maidenhood slipped away in a whirl of preparation and excitement in which her mother reveled, but which was distasteful to the girl.
David Spencer's invitation to his daughter's wedding was sent along with the others, and the last days of Rachel's single life flew by in a whirlwind of planning and excitement that her mother enjoyed, but which the girl found unpleasant.
The wedding day came at last, breaking softly and fairly over the great sea in a sheen of silver and pearl and rose, a September day, as mild and beautiful as June.
The wedding day finally arrived, gently dawning over the vast sea in a shimmer of silver, pearl, and pink—a September day, as mild and lovely as June.
The ceremony was to be performed at eight o'clock in the evening. At seven Rachel stood in her room, fully dressed and alone. She had no bridesmaid, and she had asked her cousins to leave her to herself in this last solemn hour of girlhood. She looked very fair and sweet in the sunset-light that showered through the birches. Her wedding gown was a fine, sheer organdie, simply and daintily made. In the loose waves of her bright hair she wore her bridegroom's flowers, roses as white as a virgin's dream. She was very happy; but her happiness was faintly threaded with the sorrow inseparable from all change.
The ceremony was set for eight o'clock that evening. At seven, Rachel stood in her room, fully dressed and alone. She had no bridesmaid and had asked her cousins to give her some space during this last serious hour of her girlhood. She looked so lovely and sweet in the sunset light streaming through the birches. Her wedding gown was a delicate, sheer organdy, simply and elegantly designed. In the loose waves of her bright hair, she wore her fiancé's flowers, roses as white as a virgin's dream. She was very happy, but that happiness was subtly laced with the sadness that comes with all change.
Presently her mother came in, carrying a small basket.
Presently, her mom walked in, holding a small basket.
"Here is something for you, Rachel. One of the boys from the harbor brought it up. He was bound to give it into your own hands—said that was his orders. I just took it and sent him to the right-about—told him I'd give it to you at once, and that that was all that was necessary."
"Here’s something for you, Rachel. One of the guys from the harbor brought it over. He was supposed to hand it to you directly—said that was his instructions. I just took it and sent him away—told him I’d give it to you right away, and that was all that needed to be done."
She spoke coldly. She knew quite well who had sent the basket, and she resented it; but her resentment was not quite strong enough to overcome her curiosity. She stood silently by while Rachel unpacked the basket.
She spoke coldly. She knew exactly who had sent the basket, and she resented it, but her resentment wasn’t quite strong enough to overpower her curiosity. She stood silently by while Rachel unpacked the basket.
Rachel's hands trembled as she took off the cover. Two huge pink-spotted shells came first. How well she remembered them! Beneath them, carefully wrapped up in a square of foreign-looking, strangely scented silk, was the dragon teapot. She held it in her hands and gazed at it with tears gathering thickly in her eyes.
Rachel's hands shook as she removed the cover. Two large pink-spotted shells appeared first. She remembered them so well! Underneath, carefully wrapped in a square of unusual, fragrant silk, was the dragon teapot. She held it in her hands and stared at it, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Your father sent that," said Isabella Spencer with an odd sound in her voice. "I remember it well. It was among the things I packed up and sent after him. His father had brought it home from China fifty years ago, and he prized it beyond anything. They used to say it was worth a lot of money."
"Your dad sent that," said Isabella Spencer with a strange tone in her voice. "I remember it clearly. It was one of the things I packed up and sent after him. His dad brought it home from China fifty years ago, and he valued it more than anything. They used to say it was worth a lot of money."
"Mother, please leave me alone for a little while," said Rachel, imploringly. She had caught sight of a little note at the bottom of the basket, and she felt that she could not read it under her mother's eyes.
"Mom, can you please give me some space for a bit?" Rachel said, pleadingly. She had noticed a small note at the bottom of the basket, and she felt that she couldn't read it with her mom watching.
Mrs. Spencer went out with unaccustomed acquiescence, and Rachel went quickly to the window, where she read her letter by the fading gleams of twilight. It was very brief, and the writing was that of a man who holds a pen but seldom.
Mrs. Spencer stepped out with unexpected agreement, and Rachel hurried to the window, where she read her letter by the dimming light of twilight. It was very short, and the handwriting looked like that of a man who rarely uses a pen.
"My dear little girl," it ran, "I'm sorry I can't go to your wedding. It was like you to ask me—for I know it was your doing. I wish I could see you married, but I can't go to the house I was turned out of. I hope you will be very happy. I am sending you the shells and teapot you liked so much. Do you remember that day we had such a good time? I would liked to have seen you again before you were married, but it can't be. "Your loving father, "DAVID SPENCER."
"My dear little girl," it said, "I'm sorry I can't make it to your wedding. It was so thoughtful of you to invite me—I know it was your idea. I wish I could see you get married, but I can't go back to the place I was kicked out of. I hope you have a wonderful life ahead. I'm sending you the shells and teapot you loved so much. Do you remember that fun day we had together? I would have liked to see you one more time before your wedding, but it's just not possible. "Your loving father, "DAVID SPENCER."
Rachel resolutely blinked away the tears that filled her eyes. A fierce desire for her father sprang up in her heart—an insistent hunger that would not be denied. She MUST see her father; she MUST have his blessing on her new life. A sudden determination took possession of her whole being—a determination to sweep aside all conventionalities and objections as if they had not been.
Rachel firmly blinked away the tears that filled her eyes. A strong longing for her father surged in her heart—an unyielding need that couldn’t be ignored. She HAD to see her father; she HAD to have his blessing on her new life. A sudden resolve took over her entire being—a resolve to push aside all norms and objections as if they didn’t exist.
It was now almost dark. The guests would not be coming for half an hour yet. It was only fifteen minutes' walk over the hill to the Cove. Hastily Rachel shrouded herself in her new raincoat, and drew a dark, protecting hood over her gay head. She opened the door and slipped noiselessly downstairs. Mrs. Spencer and her assistants were all busy in the back part of the house. In a moment Rachel was out in the dewy garden. She would go straight over the fields. Nobody would see her.
It was almost dark now. The guests wouldn’t arrive for another half hour. It was only a fifteen-minute walk over the hill to the Cove. Quickly, Rachel put on her new raincoat and pulled a dark hood over her cheerful head. She opened the door and quietly went downstairs. Mrs. Spencer and her helpers were all busy in the back of the house. In a moment, Rachel was out in the dewy garden. She would head straight across the fields. No one would see her.
It was quite dark when she reached the Cove. In the crystal cup of the sky over her the stars were blinking. Flying flakes of foam were scurrying over the sand like elfin things. A soft little wind was crooning about the eaves of the little gray house where David Spencer was sitting, alone in the twilight, his violin on his knee. He had been trying to play, but could not. His heart yearned after his daughter—yes, and after a long-estranged bride of his youth. His love of the sea was sated forever; his love for wife and child still cried for its own under all his old anger and stubbornness.
It was pretty dark when she got to the Cove. In the clear sky above her, the stars were twinkling. Flecks of foam were darting across the sand like little magical beings. A gentle breeze was whispering around the edges of the small gray house where David Spencer sat alone in the twilight, his violin resting on his knee. He had been trying to play, but couldn't. He missed his daughter—yes, and also the wife he had long been separated from. His love for the sea was fulfilled forever; his love for his wife and child still longed for expression beneath all his past anger and stubbornness.
The door opened suddenly and the very Rachel of whom he was dreaming came suddenly in, flinging off her wraps and standing forth in her young beauty and bridal adornments, a splendid creature, almost lighting up the gloom with her radiance.
The door swung open unexpectedly, and the exact Rachel he had been dreaming of walked in, throwing off her wraps and standing there in her youthful beauty and bridal attire, a stunning presence that nearly brightened the room with her glow.
"Father," she cried, brokenly, and her father's eager arms closed around her.
"Father," she cried, heartbreakingly, and her father's welcoming arms wrapped around her.
Back in the house she had left, the guests were coming to the wedding. There were jests and laughter and friendly greeting. The bridegroom came, too, a slim, dark-eyed lad who tiptoed bashfully upstairs to the spare room, from which he presently emerged to confront Mrs. Spencer on the landing.
Back at the house she had left, the guests were arriving for the wedding. There were jokes, laughter, and warm greetings. The groom arrived as well, a slender, dark-eyed young man who quietly made his way upstairs to the guest room, from which he soon came out to face Mrs. Spencer in the hallway.
"I want to see Rachel before we go down," he said, blushing.
"I want to see Rachel before we head down," he said, blushing.
Mrs. Spencer deposited a wedding present of linen on the table which was already laden with gifts, opening the door of Rachel's room, and called her. There was no reply; the room was dark and still. In sudden alarm, Isabella Spencer snatched the lamp from the hall table and held it up. The little white room was empty. No blushing, white-clad bride tenanted it. But David Spencer's letter was lying on the stand. She caught it up and read it.
Mrs. Spencer placed a wedding gift of linen on the table, which was already filled with presents, opened the door to Rachel's room, and called for her. There was no answer; the room was dark and quiet. Suddenly alarmed, Isabella Spencer grabbed the lamp from the hall table and lifted it up. The small white room was empty. There was no blushing bride in a white dress there. But David Spencer's letter was lying on the stand. She picked it up and read it.
"Rachel is gone," she gasped. A flash of intuition had revealed to her where and why the girl had gone.
"Rachel is gone," she gasped. A sudden realization had made her aware of where the girl had gone and why.
"Gone!" echoed Frank, his face blanching. His pallid dismay recalled Mrs. Spencer to herself. She gave a bitter, ugly little laugh.
"Gone!" Frank shouted, his face going pale. His shocked expression brought Mrs. Spencer back to reality. She let out a bitter, harsh laugh.
"Oh, you needn't look so scared, Frank. She hasn't run away from you. Hush; come in here—shut the door. Nobody must know of this. Nice gossip it would make! That little fool has gone to the Cove to see her—her father. I know she has. It's just like what she would do. He sent her those presents—look—and this letter. Read it. She has gone to coax him to come and see her married. She was crazy about it. And the minister is here and it is half-past seven. She'll ruin her dress and shoes in the dust and dew. And what if some one has seen her! Was there ever such a little fool?"
"Oh, you don't need to look so scared, Frank. She hasn't run away from you. Hush; come in here—shut the door. Nobody can know about this. It would make quite the gossip! That little fool has gone to the Cove to see her—her father. I know she has. It's just like her to do that. He sent her those gifts—look—and this letter. Read it. She's gone to persuade him to come and see her get married. She was obsessed with it. And the minister is here and it’s half-past seven. She’s going to ruin her dress and shoes in the dust and dew. And what if someone has seen her! Is there ever been such a little fool?"
Frank's presence of mind had returned to him. He knew all about Rachel and her father. She had told him everything.
Frank's clarity of thought had come back. He knew all about Rachel and her dad. She had shared everything with him.
"I'll go after her," he said gently. "Get me my hat and coat. I'll slip down the back stairs and over to the Cove."
"I'll go after her," he said softly. "Get me my hat and coat. I'll sneak down the back stairs and head over to the Cove."
"You must get out of the pantry window, then," said Mrs. Spencer firmly, mingling comedy and tragedy after her characteristic fashion. "The kitchen is full of women. I won't have this known and talked about if it can possibly be helped."
"You need to get out of the pantry window, then," Mrs. Spencer said firmly, mixing humor and seriousness as she usually does. "The kitchen is packed with women. I don’t want this getting around and being talked about if we can avoid it."
The bridegroom, wise beyond his years in the knowledge that it was well to yield to women in little things, crawled obediently out of the pantry window and darted through the birch wood. Mrs. Spencer had stood quakingly on guard until he had disappeared.
The groom, surprisingly knowledgeable for his age, understood that it was best to give in to women over small matters. He crawled out of the pantry window and quickly made his way through the birch woods. Mrs. Spencer had stood nervously on watch until he was out of sight.
So Rachel had gone to her father! Like had broken the fetters of years and fled to like.
So Rachel had gone to her father! She had broken free from the constraints of years and escaped to love.
"It isn't much use fighting against nature, I guess," she thought grimly. "I'm beat. He must have thought something of her, after all, when he sent her that teapot and letter. And what does he mean about the 'day they had such a good time'? Well, it just means that she's been to see him before, sometime, I suppose, and kept me in ignorance of it all."
"It doesn't really help to fight against nature, I guess," she thought grimly. "I'm exhausted. He must have cared about her, after all, when he sent her that teapot and letter. And what does he mean about the 'day they had such a good time'? I guess it just means she's visited him before, at some point, and kept me in the dark about it all."
Mrs. Spencer shut down the pantry window with a vicious thud.
Mrs. Spencer slammed the pantry window shut with a loud bang.
"If only she'll come quietly back with Frank in time to prevent gossip I'll forgive her," she said, as she turned to the kitchen.
"If only she'll come back with Frank quietly in time to stop the gossip, I'll forgive her," she said as she headed to the kitchen.
Rachel was sitting on her father's knee, with both her white arms around his neck, when Frank came in. She sprang up, her face flushed and appealing, her eyes bright and dewy with tears. Frank thought he had never seen her look so lovely.
Rachel was sitting on her dad's lap, her pale arms wrapped around his neck, when Frank walked in. She jumped up, her face red and looking vulnerable, her eyes bright and glistening with tears. Frank thought he had never seen her look so beautiful.
"Oh, Frank, is it very late? Oh, are you angry?" she exclaimed timidly.
"Oh, Frank, is it really late? Oh, are you mad?" she said nervously.
"No, no, dear. Of course I'm not angry. But don't you think you'd better come back now? It's nearly eight and everybody is waiting."
"No, no, sweetheart. I'm not angry at all. But don't you think it's time to come back? It's almost eight, and everyone is waiting."
"I've been trying to coax father to come up and see me married," said Rachel. "Help me, Frank."
"I've been trying to convince Dad to come up and see me get married," said Rachel. "Help me, Frank."
"You'd better come, sir," said Frank, heartily, "I'd like it as much as Rachel would."
"You should definitely come, sir," Frank said enthusiastically. "I would enjoy it just as much as Rachel would."
David Spencer shook his head stubbornly.
David Spencer shook his head stubbornly.
"No, I can't go to that house. I was locked out of it. Never mind me. I've had my happiness in this half hour with my little girl. I'd like to see her married, but it isn't to be."
"No, I can't go to that house. I was locked out of it. Forget about me. I've had my happiness in this half hour with my little girl. I'd like to see her married, but it's not going to happen."
"Yes, it is to be—it shall be," said Rachel resolutely. "You SHALL see me married. Frank, I'm going to be married here in my father's house! That is the right place for a girl to be married. Go back and tell the guests so, and bring them all down."
"Yes, it’s happening—it will happen," Rachel said firmly. "You WILL see me get married. Frank, I’m going to get married here in my father’s house! That’s the right place for a girl to get married. Go back and tell the guests, and bring them all down."
Frank looked rather dismayed. David Spencer said deprecatingly: "Little girl, don't you think it would be—"
Frank looked pretty upset. David Spencer said dismissively, "Little girl, don't you think it would be—"
"I'm going to have my own way in this," said Rachel, with a sort of tender finality. "Go, Frank. I'll obey you all my life after, but you must do this for me. Try to understand," she added beseechingly.
"I'm going to do this my way," Rachel said, with a kind of gentle determination. "Go, Frank. I'll follow you for the rest of my life after this, but you have to do this for me. Please try to understand," she added earnestly.
"Oh, I understand," Frank reassured her. "Besides, I think you are right. But I was thinking of your mother. She won't come."
"Oh, I get it," Frank reassured her. "But I think you're right. I was just thinking about your mom. She won't come."
"Then you tell her that if she doesn't come I shan't be married at all," said Rachel. She was betraying unsuspected ability to manage people. She knew that ultimatum would urge Frank to his best endeavors.
"Then you tell her that if she doesn't come, I won't get married at all," said Rachel. She was showing a surprising talent for managing people. She knew that this ultimatum would push Frank to do his best.
Frank, much to Mrs. Spencer's dismay, marched boldly in at the front door upon his return. She pounced on him and whisked him out of sight into the supper room.
Frank, much to Mrs. Spencer's annoyance, strode confidently in through the front door when he got back. She quickly grabbed him and pulled him out of view into the dining room.
"Where's Rachel? What made you come that way? Everybody saw you!"
"Where's Rachel? What made you go that way? Everyone saw you!"
"It makes no difference. They will all have to know, anyway. Rachel says she is going to be married from her father's house, or not at all. I've come back to tell you so."
"It doesn't matter. They will all need to know, anyway. Rachel says she will get married from her father's house, or not at all. I came back to tell you that."
Isabella's face turned crimson.
Isabella's face turned red.
"Rachel has gone crazy. I wash my hands of this affair. Do as you please. Take the guests—the supper, too, if you can carry it."
"Rachel has lost it. I'm done with this whole situation. Do whatever you want. Take the guests—the dinner, too, if you can manage it."
"We'll all come back here for supper," said Frank, ignoring the sarcasm. "Come, Mrs. Spencer, let's make the best of it."
"We'll all come back here for dinner," Frank said, brushing off the sarcasm. "Come on, Mrs. Spencer, let's make the most of it."
"Do you suppose that I am going to David Spencer's house?" said Isabella Spencer violently.
"Do you think that I am going to David Spencer's house?" said Isabella Spencer angrily.
"Oh you MUST come, Mrs. Spencer," cried poor Frank desperately. He began to fear that he would lose his bride past all finding in this maze of triple stubbornness. "Rachel says she won't be married at all if you don't go, too. Think what a talk it will make. You know she will keep her word."
"Oh, you HAVE to come, Mrs. Spencer," cried poor Frank desperately. He started to worry that he would lose his bride forever in this complicated situation of triple stubbornness. "Rachel says she won't get married at all if you don't go, too. Just think of all the talk it'll create. You know she'll stick to her word."
Isabella Spencer knew it. Amid all the conflict of anger and revolt in her soul was a strong desire not to make a worse scandal than must of necessity be made. The desire subdued and tamed her, as nothing else could have done.
Isabella Spencer knew it. Despite all the anger and rebellion within her, there was a strong desire not to create a bigger scandal than was absolutely necessary. This desire controlled and calmed her in a way that nothing else could have.
"I will go, since I have to," she said icily. "What can't be cured must be endured. Go and tell them."
"I'll go, since I have to," she said coldly. "What can't be fixed must be dealt with. Go and tell them."
Five minutes later the sixty wedding guests were all walking over the fields to the Cove, with the minister and the bridegroom in the front of the procession. They were too amazed even to talk about the strange happening. Isabella Spencer walked behind, fiercely alone.
Five minutes later, the sixty wedding guests were all walking across the fields to the Cove, with the minister and the groom leading the procession. They were too stunned to even discuss the bizarre event. Isabella Spencer walked behind, feeling intensely alone.
They all crowded into the little room of the house at the Cove, and a solemn hush fell over it, broken only by the purr of the sea-wind around it and the croon of the waves on the shore. David Spencer gave his daughter away; but, when the ceremony was concluded, Isabella was the first to take the girl in her arms. She clasped her and kissed her, with tears streaming down her pale face, all her nature melted in a mother's tenderness.
They all crowded into the small room of the house at the Cove, and a serious silence settled over it, interrupted only by the gentle sound of the sea breeze and the soft lapping of the waves on the shore. David Spencer gave his daughter away; but when the ceremony was over, Isabella was the first to embrace the girl. She held her tightly and kissed her, with tears streaming down her pale face, overwhelmed by a mother's love.
"Rachel! Rachel! My child, I hope and pray that you may be happy," she said brokenly.
"Rachel! Rachel! My child, I hope and pray that you find happiness," she said with a shaky voice.
In the surge of the suddenly merry crowd of well-wishers around the bride and groom, Isabella was pushed back into a shadowy corner behind a heap of sails and ropes. Looking up, she found herself crushed against David Spencer. For the first time in twenty years the eyes of husband and wife met. A strange thrill shot to Isabella's heart; she felt herself trembling.
In the midst of the suddenly joyful crowd of well-wishers surrounding the bride and groom, Isabella was shoved into a dark corner behind a pile of sails and ropes. When she looked up, she realized she was pressed against David Spencer. For the first time in twenty years, the eyes of husband and wife locked onto each other. A strange thrill rushed to Isabella's heart; she felt herself shaking.
"Isabella." It was David's voice in her ear—a voice full of tenderness and pleading—the voice of the young wooer of her girlhood—"Is it too late to ask you to forgive me? I've been a stubborn fool—but there hasn't been an hour in all these years that I haven't thought about you and our baby and longed for you."
"Isabella." It was David's voice in her ear—a voice full of tenderness and desperation—the voice of the young man who courted her in her youth—"Is it too late to ask you to forgive me? I've been a stubborn fool—but there hasn't been an hour in all these years that I haven't thought about you and our baby and missed you."
Isabella Spencer had hated this man; yet her hate had been but a parasite growth on a nobler stem, with no abiding roots of its own. It withered under his words, and lo, there was the old love, fair and strong and beautiful as ever.
Isabella Spencer had hated this man; yet her hate had been just a parasitic growth on a nobler foundation, without any real roots of its own. It faded under his words, and suddenly, there was the old love, as fair, strong, and beautiful as ever.
"Oh—David—I—was—all—to—blame," she murmured brokenly.
"Oh—David—I—was—all—to—blame," she murmured.
Further words were lost on her husband's lips.
Further words slipped away from her husband's lips.
When the hubbub of handshaking and congratulating had subsided, Isabella Spencer stepped out before the company. She looked almost girlish and bridal herself, with her flushed cheeks and bright eyes.
When the noise of handshaking and congratulations died down, Isabella Spencer stepped forward in front of the crowd. She looked almost youthful and bridal herself, with her rosy cheeks and bright eyes.
"Let's go back now and have supper, and be sensible," she said crisply. "Rachel, your father is coming, too. He is coming to STAY,"—with a defiant glance around the circle. "Come, everybody."
"Let's head back now and have dinner, and be sensible," she said sharply. "Rachel, your dad is coming too. He’s coming to STAY,"—with a challenging look around the group. "Come on, everyone."
They went back with laughter and raillery over the quiet autumn fields, faintly silvered now by the moon that was rising over the hills. The young bride and groom lagged behind; they were very happy, but they were not so happy, after all, as the old bride and groom who walked swiftly in front. Isabella's hand was in her husband's and sometimes she could not see the moonlit hills for a mist of glorified tears.
They walked back, laughing and joking over the peaceful autumn fields, now slightly shimmering under the moon rising over the hills. The young couple trailed behind; they were very happy, but not quite as joyful as the older couple who walked briskly ahead. Isabella held her husband's hand, and at times, she could barely see the moonlit hills through her misty, joyful tears.
"David," she whispered, as he helped her over the fence, "how can you ever forgive me?"
"David," she whispered, as he helped her over the fence, "how can you ever forgive me?"
"There's nothing to forgive," he said. "We're only just married. Who ever heard of a bridegroom talking of forgiveness? Everything is beginning over new for us, my girl."
"There's nothing to forgive," he said. "We're only just married. Who ever heard of a groom talking about forgiveness? Everything is starting fresh for us, my girl."
IV. JANE'S BABY
Miss Rosetta Ellis, with her front hair in curl-papers, and her back hair bound with a checked apron, was out in her breezy side yard under the firs, shaking her parlor rugs, when Mr. Nathan Patterson drove in. Miss Rosetta had seen him coming down the long red hill, but she had not supposed he would be calling at that time of the morning. So she had not run. Miss Rosetta always ran if anybody called and her front hair was in curl-papers; and, though the errand of the said caller might be life or death, he or she had to wait until Miss Rosetta had taken her hair out. Everybody in Avonlea knew this, because everybody in Avonlea knew everything about everybody else.
Miss Rosetta Ellis, with her hair in curlers and her back hair tied up with a checkered apron, was outside in her breezy side yard under the fir trees, shaking out her rugs, when Mr. Nathan Patterson drove in. Miss Rosetta had seen him coming down the long red hill, but she didn't think he would stop by that early in the morning. So she hadn't rushed. Miss Rosetta always hurried if someone showed up while her hair was in curlers; and even if the visitor's reason for coming was urgent, they had to wait until she took her curlers out. Everyone in Avonlea knew this because everyone in Avonlea knew everything about everyone else.
But Mr. Patterson had wheeled into the lane so quickly and unexpectedly that Miss Rosetta had had no time to run; so, twitching off the checked apron, she stood her ground as calmly as might be under the disagreeable consciousness of curl-papers.
But Mr. Patterson had turned into the lane so quickly and unexpectedly that Miss Rosetta didn’t have time to run; so, pulling off the checked apron, she stood her ground as calmly as she could under the annoying awareness of her curlers.
"Good morning, Miss Ellis," said Mr. Patterson, so somberly that Miss Rosetta instantly felt that he was the bearer of bad news. Usually Mr. Patterson's face was as broad and beaming as a harvest moon. Now his expression was very melancholy and his voice positively sepulchral.
"Good morning, Miss Ellis," said Mr. Patterson, so seriously that Miss Rosetta immediately sensed he was bringing bad news. Normally, Mr. Patterson's face was as wide and bright as a harvest moon. Now, his expression was very sad, and his voice sounded almost ghostly.
"Good morning," returned Miss Rosetta, crisply and cheerfully. She, at any rate, would not go into eclipse until she knew the reason therefor. "It is a fine day."
"Good morning," Miss Rosetta replied, lively and upbeat. She definitely wouldn’t fade into the background until she found out the reason for that. "It's a nice day."
"A very fine day," assented Mr. Patterson, solemnly. "I have just come from the Wheeler place, Miss Ellis, and I regret to say—"
"A really nice day," agreed Mr. Patterson, seriously. "I just came from the Wheeler place, Miss Ellis, and I’m sorry to say—"
"Charlotte is sick!" cried Miss Rosetta, rapidly. "Charlotte has got another spell with her heart! I knew it! I've been expecting to hear it! Any woman that drives about the country as much as she does is liable to heart disease at any moment. I never go outside of my gate but I meet her gadding off somewhere. Goodness knows who looks after her place. I shouldn't like to trust as much to a hired man as she does. Well, it is very kind of you, Mr. Patterson, to put yourself out to the extent of calling to tell me that Charlotte is sick, but I don't really see why you should take so much trouble—I really don't. It doesn't matter to me whether Charlotte is sick or whether she isn't. YOU know that perfectly well, Mr. Patterson, if anybody does. When Charlotte went and got married, on the sly, to that good-for-nothing Jacob Wheeler—"
"Charlotte is sick!" Miss Rosetta exclaimed quickly. "Charlotte is having another episode with her heart! I knew it! I’ve been waiting to hear this! Any woman who drives around the country as much as she does is bound to have heart problems at any time. I can’t step outside my gate without seeing her off on some adventure. Who knows who takes care of her property? I wouldn’t trust a hired man like she does. Well, it’s very thoughtful of you, Mr. Patterson, to go out of your way to tell me that Charlotte is sick, but I really don’t see why you should bother so much—I honestly don’t. It doesn’t matter to me whether Charlotte is sick or not. YOU know that perfectly well, Mr. Patterson, if anyone does. When Charlotte secretly married that no-good Jacob Wheeler—"
"Mrs. Wheeler is quite well," interrupted Mr. Patterson desperately. "Quite well. Nothing at all the matter with her, in fact. I only—"
"Mrs. Wheeler is doing just fine," Mr. Patterson interrupted urgently. "She's perfectly fine. There's really nothing wrong with her, actually. I just—"
"Then what do you mean by coming here and telling me she wasn't, and frightening me half to death?" demanded Miss Rosetta, indignantly. "My own heart isn't very strong—it runs in our family—and my doctor warned me to avoid all shocks and excitement. I don't want to be excited, Mr. Patterson. I won't be excited, not even if Charlotte has another spell. It's perfectly useless for you to try to excite me, Mr. Patterson."
"Then what do you mean by coming here and telling me she wasn't, and scaring me half to death?" Miss Rosetta demanded, indignantly. "My heart isn't very strong—it runs in our family—and my doctor warned me to avoid any shocks or excitement. I don't want to be excited, Mr. Patterson. I won't be excited, not even if Charlotte has another episode. It's completely pointless for you to try to get me worked up, Mr. Patterson."
"Bless the woman, I'm not trying to excite anybody!" declared Mr. Patterson in exasperation. "I merely called to tell you—"
"Honestly, I'm not trying to stir anything up!" Mr. Patterson declared in frustration. "I just called to let you know—"
"To tell me WHAT?" said Miss Rosetta. "How much longer do you mean to keep me in suspense, Mr. Patterson. No doubt you have abundance of spare time, but—I—have NOT."
"To tell me WHAT?" said Miss Rosetta. "How much longer are you going to keep me in suspense, Mr. Patterson? You probably have plenty of free time, but—I—do NOT."
"—that your sister, Mrs. Wheeler, has had a letter from a cousin of yours, and she's in Charlottetown. Mrs. Roberts, I think her name is—"
"—that your sister, Mrs. Wheeler, received a letter from one of your cousins, and she’s in Charlottetown. I believe her name is Mrs. Roberts—"
"Jane Roberts," broke in Miss Rosetta. "Jane Ellis she was, before she was married. What was she writing to Charlotte about? Not that I want to know, of course. I'm not interested in Charlotte's correspondence, goodness knows. But if Jane had anything in particular to write about she should have written to ME. I am the oldest. Charlotte had no business to get a letter from Jane Roberts without consulting me. It's just like her underhanded ways. She got married the same way. Never said a word to me about it, but just sneaked off with that unprincipled Jacob Wheeler—"
"Jane Roberts," Miss Rosetta interrupted. "She was Jane Ellis before she got married. What was she writing to Charlotte about? Not that I care, of course. I'm not interested in Charlotte's letters, goodness knows. But if Jane had anything important to say, she should have written to ME. I'm the oldest. Charlotte had no right to get a letter from Jane Roberts without asking me first. It's just like her sneaky ways. She got married the same way. Never mentioned a word to me about it, just snuck off with that selfish Jacob Wheeler—"
"Mrs. Roberts is very ill. I understand," persisted Mr. Patterson, nobly resolved to do what he had come to do, "dying, in fact, and—"
"Mrs. Roberts is very sick. I get it," Mr. Patterson continued, determined to follow through with his purpose, "dying, actually, and—"
"Jane ill! Jane dying!" exclaimed Miss Rosetta. "Why, she was the healthiest girl I ever knew! But then I've never seen her, nor heard from her, since she got married fifteen years ago. I dare say her husband was a brute and neglected her, and she's pined away by slow degrees. I've no faith in husbands. Look at Charlotte! Everybody knows how Jacob Wheeler used her. To be sure, she deserved it, but—"
"Jane is sick! Jane is dying!" shouted Miss Rosetta. "She was the healthiest girl I've ever known! But honestly, I haven't seen her or heard from her since she got married fifteen years ago. I bet her husband is a jerk and neglected her, and she's faded away little by little. I have no trust in husbands. Just look at Charlotte! Everyone knows how Jacob Wheeler treated her. Sure, she brought some of it on herself, but—"
"Mrs. Roberts' husband is dead," said Mr. Patterson. "Died about two months ago, I understand, and she has a little baby six months old, and she thought perhaps Mrs. Wheeler would take it for old times' sake—"
"Mrs. Roberts' husband has passed away," Mr. Patterson said. "He died about two months ago, and she has a baby that's six months old. She was hoping that maybe Mrs. Wheeler would take the baby for old times' sake—"
"Did Charlotte ask you to call and tell me this?" demanded Miss Rosetta eagerly.
"Did Charlotte ask you to call and tell me this?" Miss Rosetta asked eagerly.
"No; she just told me what was in the letter. She didn't mention you; but I thought, perhaps, you ought to be told—"
"No; she just told me what was in the letter. She didn't mention you; but I thought, maybe, you should know—"
"I knew it," said Miss Rosetta in a tone of bitter assurance. "I could have told you so. Charlotte wouldn't even let me know that Jane was ill. Charlotte would be afraid I would want to get the baby, seeing that Jane and I were such intimate friends long ago. And who has a better right to it than me, I should like to know? Ain't I the oldest? And haven't I had experience in bringing up babies? Charlotte needn't think she is going to run the affairs of our family just because she happened to get married. Jacob Wheeler—"
"I knew it," Miss Rosetta said with a bitter certainty. "I could have told you that. Charlotte wouldn't even tell me that Jane was sick. Charlotte is probably worried that I would want to take the baby since Jane and I were such close friends a long time ago. And who has more of a right to it than I do, if I may ask? Am I not the oldest? And haven't I got experience in raising babies? Charlotte shouldn't think she can control our family's affairs just because she got married. Jacob Wheeler—"
"I must be going," said Mr. Patterson, gathering up his reins thankfully.
"I need to head out," said Mr. Patterson, gratefully collecting his reins.
"I am much obliged to you for coming to tell me about Jane," said Miss Rosetta, "even though you have wasted a lot of precious time getting it out. If it hadn't been for you I suppose I should never have known it at all. As it is, I shall start for town just as soon as I can get ready."
"I really appreciate you coming to tell me about Jane," said Miss Rosetta, "even though it took you a long time to share it. If it weren't for you, I probably would have never found out. As it stands, I'll head into town as soon as I'm ready."
"You'll have to hurry if you want to get ahead of Mrs. Wheeler," advised Mr. Patterson. "She's packing her trunk and going on the morning train."
"You need to hurry if you want to get ahead of Mrs. Wheeler," Mr. Patterson advised. "She's packing her bags and taking the morning train."
"I'll pack a valise and go on the afternoon train," retorted Miss Rosetta triumphantly. "I'll show Charlotte she isn't running the Ellis affairs. She married out of them into the Wheelers. She can attend to them. Jacob Wheeler was the most—"
"I'll pack a suitcase and take the afternoon train," Miss Rosetta replied triumphantly. "I'll show Charlotte that she isn’t in charge of the Ellis business. She married out of it into the Wheelers. She can deal with them. Jacob Wheeler was the most—"
But Mr. Patterson had driven away. He felt that he had done his duty in the face of fearful odds, and he did not want to hear anything more about Jacob Wheeler.
But Mr. Patterson had driven away. He felt he had done his duty against tough challenges, and he didn't want to hear anything more about Jacob Wheeler.
Rosetta Ellis and Charlotte Wheeler had not exchanged a word for ten years. Before that time they had been devoted to each other, living together in the little Ellis cottage on the White Sands road, as they had done ever since their parents' death. The trouble began when Jacob Wheeler had commenced to pay attention to Charlotte, the younger and prettier of two women who had both ceased to be either very young or very pretty. Rosetta had been bitterly opposed to the match from the first. She vowed she had no use for Jacob Wheeler. There were not lacking malicious people to hint that this was because the aforesaid Jacob Wheeler had selected the wrong sister upon whom to bestow his affections. Be that as it might, Miss Rosetta certainly continued to render the course of Jacob Wheeler's true love exceedingly rough and tumultuous. The end of it was that Charlotte had gone quietly away one morning and married Jacob Wheeler without Miss Rosetta's knowing anything about it. Miss Rosetta had never forgiven her for it, and Charlotte had never forgiven the things Rosetta had said to her when she and Jacob returned to the Ellis cottage. Since then the sisters had been avowed and open foes, the only difference being that Miss Rosetta aired her grievances publicly, in season and out of season, while Charlotte was never heard to mention Rosetta's name. Even the death of Jacob Wheeler, five years after the marriage, had not healed the breach.
Rosetta Ellis and Charlotte Wheeler hadn’t spoken a word to each other in ten years. Before that, they were inseparable, living together in the small Ellis cottage on White Sands Road since their parents died. The problems started when Jacob Wheeler began to show interest in Charlotte, the younger and more attractive of the two women, who had both stopped being very young or very pretty. Rosetta was strongly against the relationship from the beginning. She declared she had no interest in Jacob Wheeler. There were enough spiteful people hinting that this was because Jacob had chosen the wrong sister to fall for. Regardless, Rosetta made Jacob's pursuit of true love extremely difficult. Eventually, Charlotte slipped away one morning and married Jacob Wheeler without Rosetta even knowing. Rosetta never forgave her for that, and Charlotte held a grudge against Rosetta for what she said when she and Jacob returned to the Ellis cottage. Since then, the sisters had been openly hostile toward each other, with the main difference being that Rosetta made her complaints known at every opportunity, while Charlotte never spoke Rosetta’s name. Even Jacob Wheeler’s death five years after their marriage didn’t mend their rift.
Miss Rosetta took out her curl-papers, packed her valise, and caught the late afternoon train for Charlottetown, as she had threatened. All the way there she sat rigidly upright in her seat and held imaginary dialogues with Charlotte in her mind, running something like this on her part:—
Miss Rosetta pulled out her curlers, packed her suitcase, and took the late afternoon train to Charlottetown, just like she said she would. The whole way, she sat up straight in her seat and imagined conversations with Charlotte in her head, which went something like this on her end:—
"No, Charlotte Wheeler, you are not going to have Jane's baby, and you're very much mistaken if you think so. Oh, all right—we'll see! You don't know anything about babies, even if you are married. I do. Didn't I take William Ellis's baby, when his wife died? Tell me that, Charlotte Wheeler! And didn't the little thing thrive with me, and grow strong and healthy? Yes, even you have to admit that it did, Charlotte Wheeler. And yet you have the presumption to think that you ought to have Jane's baby! Yes, it is presumption, Charlotte Wheeler. And when William Ellis got married again, and took the baby, didn't the child cling to me and cry as if I was its real mother? You know it did, Charlotte Wheeler. I'm going to get and keep Jane's baby in spite of you, Charlotte Wheeler, and I'd like to see you try to prevent me—you that went and got married and never so much as let your own sister know of it! If I had got married in such a fashion, Charlotte Wheeler, I'd be ashamed to look anybody in the face for the rest of my natural life!"
"No, Charlotte Wheeler, you're not going to have Jane's baby, and you're really mistaken if you think so. Oh, fine—we'll see! You don’t know anything about babies, even though you’re married. I do. Didn’t I take care of William Ellis’s baby when his wife passed away? Tell me that, Charlotte Wheeler! And didn’t the little one thrive with me, growing strong and healthy? Yes, even you have to admit that it did, Charlotte Wheeler. And yet you have the nerve to think that you should have Jane’s baby! Yes, it’s nerve, Charlotte Wheeler. And when William Ellis got remarried and took the baby, didn’t the child cling to me and cry as if I were its real mother? You know it did, Charlotte Wheeler. I’m going to get and keep Jane’s baby despite you, Charlotte Wheeler, and I’d like to see you try to stop me—you who went and got married without even letting your own sister know! If I had gotten married like that, Charlotte Wheeler, I’d be too ashamed to look anyone in the eye for the rest of my life!"
Miss Rosetta was so interested in thus laying down the law to Charlotte, and in planning out the future life of Jane's baby, that she didn't find the journey to Charlottetown so long or tedious as might have been expected, considering her haste. She soon found her way to the house where her cousin lived. There, to her dismay and real sorrow, she learned that Mrs. Roberts had died at four o'clock that afternoon.
Miss Rosetta was so focused on telling Charlotte what to do and planning Jane's baby's future that she didn't find the trip to Charlottetown as long or boring as one might expect, given how rushed she was. She quickly made her way to her cousin's house. There, to her shock and deep sadness, she learned that Mrs. Roberts had passed away at four o'clock that afternoon.
"She seemed dreadful anxious to live until she heard from some of her folks out in Avonlea," said the woman who gave Miss Rosetta the information. "She had written to them about her little girl. She was my sister-in-law, and she lived with me ever since her husband died. I've done my best for her; but I've a big family of my own and I can't see how I'm to keep the child. Poor Jane looked and longed for some one to come from Avonlea, but she couldn't hold out. A patient, suffering creature she was!"
"She seemed really anxious to live until she heard from some of her family out in Avonlea," said the woman who gave Miss Rosetta the information. "She had written to them about her little girl. She was my sister-in-law and had lived with me ever since her husband died. I've done my best for her, but I have a big family of my own, and I can't see how I'm supposed to take care of the child. Poor Jane looked and longed for someone to come from Avonlea, but she couldn't hang on. A patient, suffering soul she was!"
"I'm her cousin," said Miss Rosetta, wiping her eyes, "and I have come for the baby. I'll take it home with me after the funeral; and, if you please, Mrs. Gordon, let me see it right away, so it can get accustomed to me. Poor Jane! I wish I could have got here in time to see her, she and I were such friends long ago. We were far more intimate and confidential than ever her and Charlotte was. Charlotte knows that, too!"
"I'm her cousin," said Miss Rosetta, wiping her eyes, "and I’ve come for the baby. I’ll take it home with me after the funeral; and, if you don’t mind, Mrs. Gordon, let me see it right away, so it can get used to me. Poor Jane! I wish I could have gotten here in time to see her; she and I were such good friends a long time ago. We were way more close and trusting than she ever was with Charlotte. Charlotte knows that too!"
The vim with which Miss Rosetta snapped this out rather amazed Mrs. Gordon, who couldn't understand it at all. But she took Miss Rosetta upstairs to the room where the baby was sleeping.
The energy with which Miss Rosetta said this surprised Mrs. Gordon, who didn't get it at all. But she led Miss Rosetta upstairs to the room where the baby was sleeping.
"Oh, the little darling," cried Miss Rosetta, all her old maidishness and oddity falling away from her like a garment, and all her innate and denied motherhood shining out in her face like a transforming illumination. "Oh, the sweet, dear, pretty little thing!"
"Oh, the little darling," cried Miss Rosetta, all her old-maid habits and quirks slipping away like a garment, with her natural and previously hidden motherhood glowing in her face like a bright light. "Oh, the sweet, dear, pretty little thing!"
The baby was a darling—a six-months' old beauty with little golden ringlets curling and glistening all over its tiny head. As Miss Rosetta hung over it, it opened its eyes and then held out its tiny hands to her with a gurgle of confidence.
The baby was adorable—a six-month-old beauty with little golden curls shimmering all over its tiny head. As Miss Rosetta leaned over, the baby opened its eyes and reached out its tiny hands to her with a joyful gurgle of trust.
"Oh, you sweetest!" said Miss Rosetta rapturously, gathering it up in her arms. "You belong to me, darling—never, never, to that under-handed Charlotte! What is its name, Mrs. Gordon?"
"Oh, you sweetest!" Miss Rosetta exclaimed joyfully, scooping it up in her arms. "You’re mine, darling—never, ever to that sneaky Charlotte! What’s its name, Mrs. Gordon?"
"It wasn't named," said Mrs. Gordon. "Guess you'll have to name it yourself, Miss Ellis."
"It doesn't have a name," said Mrs. Gordon. "I guess you'll have to come up with one yourself, Miss Ellis."
"Camilla Jane," said Miss Rosetta without a moment's hesitation. "Jane after its mother, of course; and I have always thought Camilla the prettiest name in the world. Charlotte would be sure to give it some perfectly heathenish name. I wouldn't put it past her calling the poor innocent Mehitable."
"Camilla Jane," Miss Rosetta said without a second thought. "Jane after its mother, obviously; and I've always thought Camilla is the prettiest name in the world. Charlotte would definitely give it some completely ridiculous name. I wouldn’t be surprised if she called the poor innocent girl Mehitable."
Miss Rosetta decided to stay in Charlottetown until after the funeral. That night she lay with the baby on her arm, listening with joy to its soft little breathing. She did not sleep or wish to sleep. Her waking fancies were more alluring than any visions of dreamland. Moreover, she gave a spice to them by occasionally snapping some vicious sentences out loud at Charlotte.
Miss Rosetta decided to stay in Charlottetown until after the funeral. That night she lay with the baby on her arm, listening with joy to its soft little breathing. She didn’t sleep or want to sleep. Her waking thoughts were more enticing than any dreams. Also, she added some flavor to them by occasionally shouting out some harsh remarks at Charlotte.
Miss Rosetta fully expected Charlotte along on the following morning and girded herself for the fray; but no Charlotte appeared. Night came; no Charlotte. Another morning and no Charlotte. Miss Rosetta was hopelessly puzzled. What had happened? Dear, dear, had Charlotte taken a bad heart spell, on hearing that she, Rosetta, had stolen a march on her to Charlottetown? It was quite likely. You never knew what to expect of a woman who had married Jacob Wheeler!
Miss Rosetta fully expected Charlotte to show up the next morning and prepared herself for the confrontation; but Charlotte never arrived. The night passed; still no Charlotte. Another morning went by without Charlotte. Miss Rosetta was completely baffled. What could have happened? Oh no, could it be that Charlotte had a heart issue upon hearing that Rosetta had gotten a head start to Charlottetown? It seemed quite possible. You never knew what to expect from a woman who had married Jacob Wheeler!
The truth was, that the very evening Miss Rosetta had left Avonlea Mrs. Jacob Wheeler's hired man had broken his leg and had had to be conveyed to his distant home on a feather bed in an express wagon. Mrs. Wheeler could not leave home until she had obtained another hired man. Consequently, it was the evening after the funeral when Mrs. Wheeler whisked up the steps of the Gordon house and met Miss Rosetta coming out with a big white bundle in her arms.
The truth was, that on the very evening Miss Rosetta had left Avonlea, Mrs. Jacob Wheeler's hired man had broken his leg and had to be taken to his distant home on a feather bed in an express wagon. Mrs. Wheeler couldn’t leave home until she found another hired man. So, it was the evening after the funeral when Mrs. Wheeler hurried up the steps of the Gordon house and ran into Miss Rosetta coming out with a big white bundle in her arms.
The eyes of the two women met defiantly. Miss Rosetta's face wore an air of triumph, chastened by a remembrance of the funeral that afternoon. Mrs. Wheeler's face, except for eyes, was as expressionless as it usually was. Unlike the tall, fair, fat Miss Rosetta, Mrs. Wheeler was small and dark and thin, with an eager, careworn face.
The eyes of the two women locked in a challenging stare. Miss Rosetta's face showed a sense of victory, tempered by the memory of the funeral earlier that day. Mrs. Wheeler's face, except for her eyes, was as unreadable as usual. Unlike the tall, fair, and plump Miss Rosetta, Mrs. Wheeler was petite, dark, and slim, with an eager yet tired expression.
"How is Jane?" she said abruptly, breaking the silence of ten years in saying it.
"How's Jane?" she asked suddenly, breaking the silence of ten years with those words.
"Jane is dead and buried, poor thing," said Miss Rosetta calmly. "I am taking her baby, little Camilla Jane, home with me."
"Jane is gone and buried, poor thing," Miss Rosetta said calmly. "I'm taking her baby, little Camilla Jane, home with me."
"The baby belongs to me," cried Mrs. Wheeler passionately. "Jane wrote to me about her. Jane meant that I should have her. I've come for her."
"The baby is mine," Mrs. Wheeler shouted, full of emotion. "Jane wrote to me about her. Jane intended for me to have her. I'm here to take her."
"You'll go back without her then," said Miss Rosetta, serene in the possession that is nine points of the law. "The child is mine, and she is going to stay mine. You can make up your mind to that, Charlotte Wheeler. A woman who eloped to get married isn't fit to be trusted with a baby, anyhow. Jacob Wheeler—"
"You'll head back without her, then," said Miss Rosetta, calm in the knowledge that possession is nine-tenths of the law. "The child is mine, and she's going to stay mine. You can accept that, Charlotte Wheeler. A woman who ran away to get married isn't trustworthy with a baby, anyway. Jacob Wheeler—"
But Mrs. Wheeler had rushed past into the house. Miss Rosetta composedly stepped into the cab and drove to the station. She fairly bridled with triumph; and underneath the triumph ran a queer undercurrent of satisfaction over the fact that Charlotte had spoken to her at last. Miss Rosetta would not look at this satisfaction, or give it a name, but it was there.
But Mrs. Wheeler hurried past into the house. Miss Rosetta calmly got into the cab and drove to the station. She was filled with triumph; and beneath that triumph was a strange sense of satisfaction that Charlotte had finally spoken to her. Miss Rosetta wouldn’t acknowledge this satisfaction or give it a label, but it was certainly there.
Miss Rosetta arrived safely back in Avonlea with Camilla Jane and within ten hours everybody in the settlement knew the whole story, and every woman who could stand on her feet had been up to the Ellis cottage to see the baby. Mrs. Wheeler arrived home twenty-four hours later, and silently betook herself to her farm. When her Avonlea neighbors sympathized with her in her disappointment, she said nothing, but looked all the more darkly determined. Also, a week later, Mr. William J. Blair, the Carmody storekeeper, had an odd tale to tell. Mrs. Wheeler had come to the store and bought a lot of fine flannel and muslin and valenciennes. Now, what in the name of time, did Mrs. Wheeler want with such stuff? Mr. William J. Blair couldn't make head or tail of it, and it worried him. Mr. Blair was so accustomed to know what everybody bought anything for that such a mystery quite upset him.
Miss Rosetta arrived safely back in Avonlea with Camilla Jane, and within ten hours, everyone in the settlement knew the whole story. Every woman who could stand on her feet had gone up to the Ellis cottage to see the baby. Mrs. Wheeler got home twenty-four hours later and quietly headed to her farm. When her Avonlea neighbors expressed sympathy for her disappointment, she said nothing, but her expression was even more darkly determined. Then, a week later, Mr. William J. Blair, the storekeeper from Carmody, had a strange story to share. Mrs. Wheeler had come to the store and bought a bunch of fine flannel, muslin, and valenciennes. Now, what on earth did Mrs. Wheeler want with all of that? Mr. William J. Blair couldn't figure it out, and it bothered him. He was so used to knowing why everyone bought what they did that this mystery really unsettled him.
Miss Rosetta had exulted in the possession of little Camilla Jane for a month, and had been so happy that she had almost given up inveighing against Charlotte. Her conversations, instead of tending always to Jacob Wheeler, now ran Camilla Janeward; and this, folks thought, was an improvement.
Miss Rosetta had celebrated having little Camilla Jane for a month, and she was so happy that she had almost stopped complaining about Charlotte. Her conversations, instead of always focusing on Jacob Wheeler, now centered around Camilla Jane; and people thought this was a better change.
One afternoon, Miss Rosetta, leaving Camilla Jane snugly sleeping in her cradle in the kitchen, had slipped down to the bottom of the garden to pick her currants. The house was hidden from her sight by the copse of cherry trees, but she had left the kitchen window open, so that she could hear the baby if it awakened and cried. Miss Rosetta sang happily as she picked her currants. For the first time since Charlotte had married Jacob Wheeler Miss Rosetta felt really happy—so happy that there was no room in her heart for bitterness. In fancy she looked forward to the coming years, and saw Camilla Jane growing up into girlhood, fair and lovable.
One afternoon, Miss Rosetta left Camilla Jane peacefully sleeping in her cradle in the kitchen and went down to the bottom of the garden to pick her currants. The house was out of her view because of the cherry trees, but she had left the kitchen window open so she could hear the baby if she woke up and cried. Miss Rosetta sang happily while she picked her currants. For the first time since Charlotte married Jacob Wheeler, Miss Rosetta felt truly happy—so happy that there was no space in her heart for bitterness. In her imagination, she looked ahead to the coming years and saw Camilla Jane growing up into a pretty and lovable girl.
"She'll be a beauty," reflected Miss Rosetta complacently. "Jane was a handsome girl. She shall always be dressed as nice as I can manage it, and I'll get her an organ, and have her take painting and music lessons. Parties, too! I'll give her a real coming-out party when she's eighteen and the very prettiest dress that's to be had. Dear me, I can hardly wait for her to grow up, though she's sweet enough now to make one wish she could stay a baby forever."
"She's going to be stunning," Miss Rosetta thought happily. "Jane was a beautiful girl. I'll always dress her as nicely as I can, and I'll get her an organ and have her take painting and music lessons. Parties, too! I'll throw her a real coming-out party when she turns eighteen, with the prettiest dress I can find. My goodness, I can hardly wait for her to grow up, even though she's sweet enough right now to make you wish she could stay a baby forever."
When Miss Rosetta returned to the kitchen, her eyes fell on an empty cradle. Camilla Jane was gone!
When Miss Rosetta came back to the kitchen, her eyes landed on an empty cradle. Camilla Jane was gone!
Miss Rosetta promptly screamed. She understood at a glance what had happened. Six months' old babies do not get out of their cradles and disappear through closed doors without any assistance.
Miss Rosetta immediately screamed. She realized right away what had happened. Six-month-old babies don’t get out of their cradles and vanish through closed doors on their own.
"Charlotte has been here," gasped Miss Rosetta. "Charlotte has stolen Camilla Jane! I might have expected it. I might have known when I heard that story about her buying muslin and flannel. It's just like Charlotte to do such an underhand trick. But I'll go after her! I'll show her! She'll find out she has got Rosetta Ellis to deal with and no Wheeler!"
"Charlotte has been here," gasped Miss Rosetta. "Charlotte has taken Camilla Jane! I should have expected it. I should have known when I heard about her buying muslin and flannel. It’s just like Charlotte to pull such a sneaky move. But I’m going after her! I’ll show her! She’ll realize she’s got Rosetta Ellis to deal with, not a Wheeler!"
Like a frantic creature and wholly forgetting that her hair was in curl-papers, Miss Rosetta hurried up the hill and down the shore road to the Wheeler Farm—a place she had never visited in her life before.
Like a frantic animal and completely forgetting that her hair was in curlers, Miss Rosetta rushed up the hill and down the shore road to the Wheeler Farm—a place she had never been to in her life before.
The wind was off-shore and only broke the bay's surface into long silvery ripples, and sent sheeny shadows flying out across it from every point and headland, like transparent wings.
The wind was blowing from the ocean and only disturbed the bay's surface with long silvery ripples, sending shiny shadows darting across it from every point and headland, like transparent wings.
The little gray house, so close to the purring waves that in storms their spray splashed over its very doorstep, seemed deserted. Miss Rosetta pounded lustily on the front door. This producing no result, she marched around to the back door and knocked. No answer. Miss Rosetta tried the door. It was locked.
The small gray house, so close to the gentle waves that during storms their spray splashed right over its doorstep, seemed abandoned. Miss Rosetta knocked confidently on the front door. When that got no response, she walked around to the back door and knocked again. Still no answer. Miss Rosetta tried the door. It was locked.
"Guilty conscience," sniffed Miss Rosetta. "Well, I shall stay here until I see that perfidious Charlotte, if I have to camp in the yard all night."
"Guilty conscience," sniffed Miss Rosetta. "Well, I'm going to stay here until I see that treacherous Charlotte, even if I have to camp out in the yard all night."
Miss Rosetta was quite capable of doing this, but she was spared the necessity; walking boldly up to the kitchen window, and peering through it, she felt her heart swell with anger as she beheld Charlotte sitting calmly by the table with Camilla Jane on her knee. Beside her was a befrilled and bemuslined cradle, and on a chair lay the garments in which Miss Rosetta had dressed the baby. It was clad in an entirely new outfit, and seemed quite at home with its new possessor. It was laughing and cooing, and making little dabs at her with its dimpled hands.
Miss Rosetta was fully capable of doing this, but she didn’t have to; she walked confidently up to the kitchen window and looked through it, feeling her heart fill with anger as she saw Charlotte sitting calmly at the table with Camilla Jane on her lap. Next to her was a frilly and well-decorated cradle, and on a chair lay the clothes in which Miss Rosetta had dressed the baby. It was wearing a completely new outfit and seemed perfectly comfortable with its new owner. It was laughing and cooing, reaching out with its tiny, dimpled hands.
"Charlotte Wheeler," cried Miss Rosetta, rapping sharply on the window-pane. "I've come for that child! Bring her out to me at once—at once, I say! How dare you come to my house and steal a baby? You're no better than a common burglar. Give me Camilla Jane, I say!"
"Charlotte Wheeler," shouted Miss Rosetta, tapping insistently on the window. "I've come for that child! Bring her out to me right now—right now, I said! How dare you come to my house and take a baby? You're no better than a regular thief. Hand over Camilla Jane, I say!"
Charlotte came over to the window with the baby in her arms and triumph glittering in her eyes.
Charlotte walked over to the window with the baby in her arms, triumph shining in her eyes.
"There is no such child as Camilla Jane here," she said. "This is Barbara Jane. She belongs to me."
"There’s no child named Camilla Jane here," she said. "This is Barbara Jane. She’s mine."
With that Mrs. Wheeler pulled down the shade.
With that, Mrs. Wheeler pulled down the shade.
Miss Rosetta had to go home. There was nothing else for her to do. On her way she met Mr. Patterson and told him in full the story of her wrongs. It was all over Avonlea by night, and created quite a sensation. Avonlea had not had such a toothsome bit of gossip for a long time.
Miss Rosetta had to go home. There was nothing else for her to do. On her way, she ran into Mr. Patterson and shared with him the whole story of her grievances. By night, the news had spread all over Avonlea, creating quite a stir. Avonlea hadn’t had such juicy gossip in a long time.
Mrs. Wheeler exulted in the possession of Barbara Jane for six weeks, during which Miss Rosetta broke her heart with loneliness and longing, and meditated futile plots for the recovery of the baby. It was hopeless to think of stealing it back or she would have tried to. The hired man at the Wheeler place reported that Mrs. Wheeler never left it night or day for a single moment. She even carried it with her when she went to milk the cows.
Mrs. Wheeler thrilled at having Barbara Jane for six weeks, during which Miss Rosetta was heartbroken with loneliness and desire, and came up with pointless plans to get the baby back. It seemed impossible to think about stealing her back, or she would have attempted it. The hired guy at the Wheeler place said that Mrs. Wheeler never left the baby alone, not even for a second, day or night. She even took her along when she went to milk the cows.
"But my turn will come," said Miss Rosetta grimly. "Camilla Jane is mine, and if she was called Barbara for a century it wouldn't alter that fact! Barbara, indeed! Why not have called her Methusaleh and have done with it?"
"But my time will come," Miss Rosetta said darkly. "Camilla Jane is mine, and even if she was called Barbara for a hundred years, that wouldn't change anything! Barbara, really! Why not just name her Methuselah and be done with it?"
One afternoon in October, when Miss Rosetta was picking her apples and thinking drearily about lost Camilla Jane, a woman came running breathlessly down the hill and into the yard. Miss Rosetta gave an exclamation of amazement and dropped her basket of apples. Of all incredible things! The woman was Charlotte—Charlotte who had never set foot on the grounds of the Ellis cottage since her marriage ten years ago, Charlotte, bare-headed, wild-eyed, distraught, wringing her hands and sobbing.
One afternoon in October, while Miss Rosetta was picking her apples and sadly thinking about lost Camilla Jane, a woman came running breathlessly down the hill and into the yard. Miss Rosetta gasped in shock and dropped her basket of apples. Unbelievable! The woman was Charlotte—Charlotte who hadn't stepped foot on the Ellis cottage grounds since her marriage ten years ago, Charlotte, bare-headed, wild-eyed, distraught, wringing her hands and crying.
Miss Rosetta flew to meet her.
Miss Rosetta flew to meet her.
"You've scalded Camilla Jane to death!" she exclaimed. "I always knew you would—always expected it!"
"You've burned Camilla Jane to death!" she shouted. "I always knew you would—always expected it!"
"Oh, for heaven's sake, come quick, Rosetta!" gasped Charlotte. "Barbara Jane is in convulsions and I don't know what to do. The hired man has gone for the doctor. You were the nearest, so I came to you. Jenny White was there when they came on, so I left her and ran. Oh, Rosetta, come, come, if you have a spark of humanity in you! You know what to do for convulsions—you saved the Ellis baby when it had them. Oh, come and save Barbara Jane!"
"Oh my gosh, hurry up, Rosetta!" Charlotte exclaimed. "Barbara Jane is having seizures and I don't know what to do. The farmhand has gone to get the doctor. You were the closest, so I came to you. Jenny White was there when they arrived, so I left her and ran here. Oh, Rosetta, please come, if you care at all! You know how to handle seizures—you saved the Ellis baby when it had them. Oh, please come and help Barbara Jane!"
"You mean Camilla Jane, I presume?" said Miss Rosetta firmly, in spite of her agitation.
"You mean Camilla Jane, right?" Miss Rosetta said firmly, despite her nerves.
For a second Charlotte Wheeler hesitated. Then she said passionately: "Yes, yes, Camilla Jane—any name you like! Only come."
For a moment, Charlotte Wheeler paused. Then she said passionately: "Yes, yes, Camilla Jane—whatever name you want! Just come."
Miss Rosetta went, and not a moment too soon, either. The doctor lived eight miles away and the baby was very bad. The two women and Jenny White worked over her for hours. It was not until dark, when the baby was sleeping soundly and the doctor had gone, after telling Miss Rosetta that she had saved the child's life, that a realization of the situation came home to them.
Miss Rosetta left, and not a moment too soon, either. The doctor lived eight miles away and the baby was very sick. The two women and Jenny White worked on her for hours. It wasn't until dark, when the baby was sleeping soundly and the doctor had left after telling Miss Rosetta that she had saved the child's life, that they fully understood the situation.
"Well," said Miss Rosetta, dropping into an armchair with a long sigh of weariness, "I guess you'll admit now, Charlotte Wheeler, that you are hardly a fit person to have charge of a baby, even if you had to go and steal it from me. I should think your conscience would reproach you—that is, if any woman who would marry Jacob Wheeler in such an underhanded fashion has a—"
"Well," said Miss Rosetta, sinking into an armchair with a long sigh of exhaustion, "I guess you’ll agree now, Charlotte Wheeler, that you’re not exactly the right person to take care of a baby, even if you had to go and steal it from me. I’d think your conscience would bother you—that is, if any woman who would marry Jacob Wheeler in such a sneaky way has a—"
"I—I wanted the baby," sobbed Charlotte, tremulously. "I was so lonely here. I didn't think it was any harm to take her, because Jane gave her to me in her letter. But you have saved her life, Rosetta, and you—you can have her back, although it will break my heart to give her up. But, oh, Rosetta, won't you let me come and see her sometimes? I love her so I can't bear to give her up entirely."
"I—I wanted the baby," Charlotte sobbed, shaking. "I felt so lonely here. I didn’t think it was wrong to take her since Jane gave her to me in her letter. But you saved her life, Rosetta, and you—you can have her back, even though it will break my heart to let her go. But, oh, Rosetta, will you please let me come and see her sometimes? I love her so much that I can't stand the thought of losing her completely."
"Charlotte," said Miss Rosetta firmly, "the most sensible thing for you to do is just to come back with the baby. You are worried to death trying to run this farm with the debt Jacob Wheeler left on it for you. Sell it, and come home with me. And we'll both have the baby then."
"Charlotte," Miss Rosetta said firmly, "the smartest thing you can do is come back with the baby. You're stressing yourself out trying to manage this farm with all the debt Jacob Wheeler left you. Sell it, and come home with me. Then we can both have the baby."
"Oh, Rosetta, I'd love to," faltered Charlotte. "I've—I've wanted to be good friends with you again so much. But I thought you were so hard and bitter you'd never make up."
"Oh, Rosetta, I would love to," Charlotte hesitated. "I've really wanted to be good friends with you again for a long time. But I thought you were too harsh and resentful to ever reconcile."
"Maybe I've talked too much," conceded Miss Rosetta, "but you ought to know me well enough to know I didn't mean a word of it. It was your never saying anything, no matter what I said, that riled me up so bad. Let bygones be bygones, and come home, Charlotte."
"Maybe I've talked too much," admitted Miss Rosetta, "but you should know me well enough to realize I didn't mean any of it. It was your silence, no matter what I said, that frustrated me so much. Let's forget the past and come home, Charlotte."
"I will," said Charlotte resolutely, wiping away her tears. "I'm sick of living here and putting up with hired men. I'll be real glad to go home, Rosetta, and that's the truth. I've had a hard enough time. I s'pose you'll say I deserved it; but I was fond of Jacob, and—"
"I will," Charlotte said firmly, wiping away her tears. "I'm tired of living here and dealing with hired help. I'll be really happy to go home, Rosetta, and that's the truth. I've been through enough. I guess you'll say I brought it on myself; but I cared about Jacob, and—"
"Of course, of course. Why shouldn't you be?" said Miss Rosetta briskly. "I'm sure Jacob Wheeler was a good enough soul, if he was a little slack-twisted. I'd like to hear anybody say a word against him in my presence. Look at that blessed child, Charlotte. Isn't she the sweetest thing? I'm desperate glad you are coming back home, Charlotte. I've never been able to put up a decent mess of mustard pickles since you went away, and you were always such a hand with them! We'll be real snug and cozy again—you and me and little Camilla Barbara Jane."
"Of course, of course. Why wouldn't you be?" Miss Rosetta said cheerfully. "I'm sure Jacob Wheeler was a decent guy, even if he was a bit off. I'd like to hear anyone say a negative word about him in front of me. Look at that lovely child, Charlotte. Isn't she the sweetest? I'm so excited you're coming back home, Charlotte. I haven't been able to make a good batch of mustard pickles since you left, and you were always great at it! We'll be nice and cozy again—you, me, and little Camilla Barbara Jane."
V. THE DREAM-CHILD
A man's heart—aye, and a woman's, too—should be light in the spring. The spirit of resurrection is abroad, calling the life of the world out of its wintry grave, knocking with radiant fingers at the gates of its tomb. It stirs in human hearts, and makes them glad with the old primal gladness they felt in childhood. It quickens human souls, and brings them, if so they will, so close to God that they may clasp hands with Him. It is a time of wonder and renewed life, and a great outward and inward rapture, as of a young angel softly clapping his hands for creation's joy. At least, so it should be; and so it always had been with me until the spring when the dream-child first came into our lives.
A man’s heart—and a woman’s too—should feel light in the spring. The spirit of renewal is everywhere, calling the world's life out of its winter grave, gently knocking at the doors of its tomb. It stirs in our hearts and fills us with the joyful, primal happiness we experienced in childhood. It awakens our souls and brings us, if we choose, so close to God that we can hold hands with Him. It’s a time of wonder and new life, filled with a deep joy, like a young angel softly clapping his hands in celebration of creation. At least, that’s how it should be; and that’s how it always used to be for me until the spring when the dream-child first entered our lives.
That year I hated the spring—I, who had always loved it so. As boy I had loved it, and as man. All the happiness that had ever been mine, and it was much, had come to blossom in the springtime. It was in the spring that Josephine and I had first loved each other, or, at least, had first come into the full knowledge that we loved. I think that we must have loved each other all our lives, and that each succeeding spring was a word in the revelation of that love, not to be understood until, in the fullness of time, the whole sentence was written out in that most beautiful of all beautiful springs.
That year, I hated spring—I, who had always loved it so much. As a boy, I loved it, and as a man, too. All the happiness I had ever experienced, and there was a lot, had bloomed in the springtime. It was in the spring that Josephine and I first fell in love, or at least, when we fully realized that we loved each other. I think we must have loved each other our whole lives, and each spring was like a word in revealing that love, not understood until, in due time, the entire sentence was revealed in that most beautiful of all springs.
How beautiful it was! And how beautiful she was! I suppose every lover thinks that of his lass; otherwise he is a poor sort of lover. But it was not only my eyes of love that made my dear lovely. She was slim and lithe as a young, white-stemmed birch tree; her hair was like a soft, dusky cloud; and her eyes were as blue as Avonlea harbor on a fair twilight, when all the sky is abloom over it. She had dark lashes, and a little red mouth that quivered when she was very sad or very happy, or when she loved very much—quivered like a crimson rose too rudely shaken by the wind. At such times what was a man to do save kiss it?
How beautiful it was! And how beautiful she was! I guess every lover feels that way about their girl; otherwise, they're not really a good lover. But it wasn’t just my love-struck eyes that made her so lovely. She was slim and graceful like a young, white-barked birch tree; her hair was like a soft, dusky cloud; and her eyes were as blue as Avonlea harbor on a clear twilight, when the sky is all lit up above it. She had dark lashes and a little red mouth that trembled when she was very sad or very happy, or when she loved deeply—trembled like a crimson rose that’s been roughly shaken by the wind. At times like those, what could a guy do but kiss it?
The next spring we were married, and I brought her home to my gray old homestead on the gray old harbor shore. A lonely place for a young bride, said Avonlea people. Nay, it was not so. She was happy here, even in my absences. She loved the great, restless harbor and the vast, misty sea beyond; she loved the tides, keeping their world-old tryst with the shore, and the gulls, and the croon of the waves, and the call of the winds in the fir woods at noon and even; she loved the moonrises and the sunsets, and the clear, calm nights when the stars seemed to have fallen into the water and to be a little dizzy from such a fall. She loved these things, even as I did. No, she was never lonely here then.
The next spring we got married, and I brought her home to my old gray house by the gray harbor shore. People in Avonlea said it was a lonely place for a young bride. But that wasn’t true. She was happy here, even when I was away. She loved the wild, restless harbor and the vast, misty sea beyond; she loved the tides that kept their age-old promise to the shore, and the gulls, and the soothing sound of the waves, and the call of the winds in the fir trees at noon and in the evening; she loved the moonrises and sunsets, and the clear, calm nights when the stars seemed to have fallen into the water and looked a little dizzy from the fall. She loved these things just as much as I did. No, she was never lonely here then.
The third spring came, and our boy was born. We thought we had been happy before; now we knew that we had only dreamed a pleasant dream of happiness, and had awakened to this exquisite reality. We thought we had loved each other before; now, as I looked into my wife's pale face, blanched with its baptism of pain, and met the uplifted gaze of her blue eyes, aglow with the holy passion of motherhood, I knew we had only imagined what love might be. The imagination had been sweet, as the thought of the rose is sweet before the bud is open; but as the rose to the thought, so was love to the imagination of it.
The third spring arrived, and our baby was born. We thought we had been happy before; now we realized we had only dreamed a nice dream of happiness and had woken up to this amazing reality. We thought we had loved each other before; now, as I looked at my wife's pale face, drained after her experience of pain, and met her bright blue eyes, shining with the pure joy of motherhood, I understood that we had only imagined what love could be. The imagination had been sweet, like the thought of a rose before it blooms; but just as the rose is to the thought, so was love to the idea of it.
"All my thoughts are poetry since baby came," my wife said once, rapturously.
"All my thoughts are poetry since the baby came," my wife said once, excitedly.
Our boy lived for twenty months. He was a sturdy, toddling rogue, so full of life and laughter and mischief that, when he died, one day, after the illness of an hour, it seemed a most absurd thing that he should be dead—a thing I could have laughed at, until belief forced itself into my soul like a burning, searing iron.
Our boy lived for twenty months. He was a sturdy, playful little troublemaker, so full of life, laughter, and mischief that when he died one day after being sick for just an hour, it felt completely ridiculous that he was gone—a thing I could have laughed at, until the reality of it hit me like a searing hot iron.
I think I grieved over my little son's death as deeply and sincerely as ever man did, or could. But the heart of the father is not as the heart of the mother. Time brought no healing to Josephine; she fretted and pined; her cheeks lost their pretty oval, and her red mouth grew pale and drooping.
I believe I mourned my little son's death as deeply and sincerely as any man ever could. But a father's heart is different from a mother's heart. Time didn't heal Josephine; she became anxious and withdrawn; her cheeks lost their beautiful shape, and her once red lips became pale and sagging.
I hoped that spring might work its miracle upon her. When the buds swelled, and the old earth grew green in the sun, and the gulls came back to the gray harbor, whose very grayness grew golden and mellow, I thought I should see her smile again. But, when the spring came, came the dream-child, and the fear that was to be my companion, at bed and board, from sunsetting to sunsetting.
I hoped that spring would work its magic on her. When the buds bloomed, and the earth turned green in the sunlight, and the seagulls returned to the gray harbor, which became warm and golden, I thought I would see her smile again. But when spring arrived, so did the dream-child and the fear that would be my constant companion, from dusk to dusk.
One night I awakened from sleep, realizing in the moment of awakening that I was alone. I listened to hear whether my wife were moving about the house. I heard nothing but the little splash of waves on the shore below and the low moan of the distant ocean.
One night I woke up, realizing as I did that I was alone. I listened to see if my wife was moving around the house. All I heard was the gentle splash of waves on the shore below and the soft moan of the distant ocean.
I rose and searched the house. She was not in it. I did not know where to seek her; but, at a venture, I started along the shore.
I got up and looked around the house. She wasn't there. I had no idea where to find her, but I decided to take a chance and started walking along the shore.
It was pale, fainting moonlight. The harbor looked like a phantom harbor, and the night was as still and cold and calm as the face of a dead man. At last I saw my wife coming to me along the shore. When I saw her, I knew what I had feared and how great my fear had been.
It was a faint, pale moonlight. The harbor appeared like a ghostly place, and the night was as still, cold, and calm as the face of a deceased person. Finally, I spotted my wife walking towards me along the shore. Seeing her made me realize what I had feared and how intense that fear had been.
As she drew near, I saw that she had been crying; her face was stained with tears, and her dark hair hung loose over her shoulders in little, glossy ringlets like a child's. She seemed to be very tired, and at intervals she wrung her small hands together.
As she approached, I noticed she had been crying; her face was marked with tears, and her dark hair fell loosely over her shoulders in shiny, little ringlets like a child's. She looked very tired, and now and then she wrung her small hands together.
She showed no surprise when she met me, but only held out her hands to me as if glad to see me.
She showed no surprise when she met me, but just extended her hands to me as if she was happy to see me.
"I followed him—but I could not overtake him," she said with a sob. "I did my best—I hurried so; but he was always a little way ahead. And then I lost him—and so I came back. But I did my best—indeed I did. And oh, I am so tired!"
"I chased after him, but I couldn't catch up," she said with a sob. "I tried my hardest—I rushed so much; but he was always a little ahead of me. Then I lost track of him, so I came back. But I really did my best—I promise. And oh, I am so exhausted!"
"Josie, dearest, what do you mean, and where have you been?" I said, drawing her close to me. "Why did you go out so—alone in the night?"
"Josie, my dear, what do you mean, and where have you been?" I said, pulling her close to me. "Why did you go out all by yourself at night?"
She looked at me wonderingly.
She looked at me in awe.
"How could I help it, David? He called me. I had to go."
"How could I not, David? He called me. I had to go."
"WHO called you?"
"Who called you?"
"The child," she answered in a whisper. "Our child, David—our pretty boy. I awakened in the darkness and heard him calling to me down on the shore. Such a sad, little wailing cry, David, as if he were cold and lonely and wanted his mother. I hurried out to him, but I could not find him. I could only hear the call, and I followed it on and on, far down the shore. Oh, I tried so hard to overtake it, but I could not. Once I saw a little white hand beckoning to me far ahead in the moonlight. But still I could not go fast enough. And then the cry ceased, and I was there all alone on that terrible, cold, gray shore. I was so tired and I came home. But I wish I could have found him. Perhaps he does not know that I tried to. Perhaps he thinks his mother never listened to his call. Oh, I would not have him think that."
"The child," she replied softly. "Our child, David—our sweet boy. I woke up in the dark and heard him calling out to me from the shore. It was such a sad, little cry, David, like he was cold and lonely and needed his mother. I rushed out to him, but I couldn’t find him. I could only hear the call, and I kept following it along the shore. Oh, I tried so hard to catch up, but I couldn’t. Once, I saw a little white hand waving to me in the moonlight, but I still couldn’t move fast enough. Then the cry stopped, and I was left all alone on that dreadful, cold, gray shore. I was so exhausted, so I went home. But I wish I could have found him. Maybe he doesn’t realize I tried. Maybe he thinks his mother never heard his call. Oh, I wouldn’t want him to think that."
"You have had a bad dream, dear," I said. I tried to say it naturally; but it is hard for a man to speak naturally when he feels a mortal dread striking into his very vitals with its deadly chill.
"You had a bad dream, sweetie," I said. I tried to say it casually; but it’s tough for a guy to sound natural when he feels a deep fear cutting through him with its icy grip.
"It was no dream," she answered reproachfully. "I tell you I heard him calling me—me, his mother. What could I do but go to him? You cannot understand—you are only his father. It was not you who gave him birth. It was not you who paid the price of his dear life in pain. He would not call to you—he wanted his mother."
"It wasn't a dream," she replied angrily. "I swear I heard him calling me—me, his mother. What was I supposed to do, not go to him? You wouldn't understand—you’re just his father. You didn’t give birth to him. You didn’t pay the price of his precious life in pain. He wouldn’t call for you—he wanted his mother."
I got her back to the house and to her bed, whither she went obediently enough, and soon fell into the sleep of exhaustion. But there was no more sleep for me that night. I kept a grim vigil with dread.
I got her back to the house and to her bed, where she went willingly enough and soon fell into a deep sleep from exhaustion. But there was no more sleep for me that night. I kept a tense watch filled with dread.
When I had married Josephine, one of those officious relatives that are apt to buzz about a man's marriage told me that her grandmother had been insane all the latter part of her life. She had grieved over the death of a favorite child until she lost her mind, and, as the first indication of it, she had sought by nights a white dream-child which always called her, so she said, and led her afar with a little, pale, beckoning hand.
When I married Josephine, one of those overly involved relatives who tend to swarm around a wedding told me that her grandmother had been mentally ill for most of her life. She had mourned the death of a favorite child so much that it drove her crazy, and the first sign of this was her nightly search for a white dream-child who supposedly called to her and led her away with a small, pale, beckoning hand.
I had smiled at the story then. What had that grim old bygone to do with springtime and love and Josephine? But it came back to me now, hand in hand with my fear. Was this fate coming on my dear wife? It was too horrible for belief. She was so young, so fair, so sweet, this girl-wife of mine. It had been only a bad dream, with a frightened, bewildered waking. So I tried to comfort myself.
I had smiled at the story back then. What did that dark old tale have to do with springtime, love, and Josephine? But now it returned to me, intertwined with my fear. Was fate approaching my dear wife? It was too awful to believe. She was so young, so beautiful, so sweet, this girl-wife of mine. It had only been a bad dream, with a scared, confused awakening. So I tried to reassure myself.
When she awakened in the morning she did not speak of what had happened and I did not dare to. She seemed more cheerful that day than she had been, and went about her household duties briskly and skillfully. My fear lifted. I was sure now that she had only dreamed. And I was confirmed in my hopeful belief when two nights had passed away uneventfully.
When she woke up in the morning, she didn't mention what had happened, and I didn't have the courage to bring it up. She seemed happier that day than she had been, and she tackled her household tasks with energy and skill. My fear faded away. I was now convinced that she had just dreamed it. I felt reassured in my optimistic belief when two nights passed without any incidents.
Then, on the third night, the dream-child called to her again. I wakened from a troubled doze to find her dressing herself with feverish haste.
Then, on the third night, the dream-child called to her again. I woke up from a restless sleep to see her getting dressed in a frantic hurry.
"He is calling me," she cried. "Oh, don't you hear him? Can't you hear him? Listen—listen—the little, lonely cry! Yes, yes, my precious, mother is coming. Wait for me. Mother is coming to her pretty boy!"
"He’s calling me," she cried. "Oh, can't you hear him? Listen—listen—the little, lonely cry! Yes, yes, my precious, Mom is coming. Wait for me. Mom is coming to her sweet boy!"
I caught her hand and let her lead me where she would. Hand in hand we followed the dream-child down the harbor shore in that ghostly, clouded moonlight. Ever, she said, the little cry sounded before her. She entreated the dream-child to wait for her; she cried and implored and uttered tender mother-talk. But, at last, she ceased to hear the cry; and then, weeping, wearied, she let me lead her home again.
I took her hand and let her guide me wherever she wanted. Hand in hand, we followed the dream-child along the harbor shore in that eerie, cloudy moonlight. "Always," she said, the little cry echoed in front of her. She begged the dream-child to wait for her; she cried and pleaded and spoke sweetly like a mother. But eventually, she stopped hearing the cry; and then, crying and exhausted, she allowed me to lead her back home.
What a horror brooded over that spring—that so beautiful spring! It was a time of wonder and marvel; of the soft touch of silver rain on greening fields; of the incredible delicacy of young leaves; of blossom on the land and blossom in the sunset. The whole world bloomed in a flush and tremor of maiden loveliness, instinct with all the evasive, fleeting charm of spring and girlhood and young morning. And almost every night of this wonderful time the dream-child called his mother, and we roved the gray shore in quest of him.
What a horror hung over that spring—that spring that was so beautiful! It was a time of wonder and amazement; the soft touch of silver rain on green fields; the incredible delicacy of young leaves; flowers blooming on the land and in the sunset. The whole world blossomed in a glow and quiver of youthful beauty, filled with all the elusive, fleeting charm of spring, girlhood, and a bright morning. And almost every night during this amazing time, the dream-child called for his mother, and we wandered the gray shore searching for him.
In the day she was herself; but, when the night fell, she was restless and uneasy until she heard the call. Then follow it she would, even through storm and darkness. It was then, she said, that the cry sounded loudest and nearest, as if her pretty boy were frightened by the tempest. What wild, terrible rovings we had, she straining forward, eager to overtake the dream-child; I, sick at heart, following, guiding, protecting, as best I could; then afterwards leading her gently home, heart-broken because she could not reach the child.
In the daytime she was herself; but when night came, she felt restless and uneasy until she heard the call. Then she would follow it, even through storms and darkness. It was at that moment, she said, that the cry sounded the loudest and closest, as if her sweet boy were frightened by the storm. What wild, terrifying journeys we had, her leaning forward, eager to catch up with the dream child; I, heartbroken, following, guiding, and protecting as best as I could; and then afterwards gently leading her home, heartbroken because she couldn't reach the child.
I bore my burden in secret, determining that gossip should not busy itself with my wife's condition so long as I could keep it from becoming known. We had no near relatives—none with any right to share any trouble—and whoso accepteth human love must bind it to his soul with pain.
I carried my burden in silence, deciding that gossip shouldn’t delve into my wife's condition as long as I could keep it hidden. We had no close relatives—none who had any right to share in our troubles—and anyone who accepts love must tie it to their soul with pain.
I thought, however, that I should have medical advice, and I took our old doctor into my confidence. He looked grave when he heard my story. I did not like his expression nor his few guarded remarks. He said he thought human aid would avail little; she might come all right in time; humor her, as far as possible, watch over her, protect her. He needed not to tell me THAT.
I thought I should get a medical opinion, so I confided in our old doctor. He looked serious when he listened to my story. I didn't like his expression or his cautious comments. He said he thought human help would be of little use; she might get better eventually; try to accommodate her as much as you can, keep an eye on her, and protect her. He didn't need to tell me THAT.
The spring went out and summer came in—and the horror deepened and darkened. I knew that suspicions were being whispered from lip to lip. We had been seen on our nightly quests. Men and women began to look at us pityingly when we went abroad.
The spring ended and summer began—and the dread grew stronger and darker. I could tell that whispers of suspicion were spreading from person to person. People had seen us during our nightly adventures. Men and women started to look at us with pity when we went out.
One day, on a dull, drowsy afternoon, the dream-child called. I knew then that the end was near; the end had been near in the old grandmother's case sixty years before when the dream-child called in the day. The doctor looked graver than ever when I told him, and said that the time had come when I must have help in my task. I could not watch by day and night. Unless I had assistance I would break down.
One day, on a boring, sleepy afternoon, the dream-child called. I realized then that the end was coming; the end had been imminent for the old grandmother sixty years ago when the dream-child called during the day. The doctor looked more serious than ever when I told him and said that it was time for me to get help with my task. I couldn’t keep watching day and night. Without assistance, I would wear myself out.
I did not think that I should. Love is stronger than that. And on one thing I was determined—they should never take my wife from me. No restraint sterner than a husband's loving hand should ever be put upon her, my pretty, piteous darling.
I didn’t think I should. Love is stronger than that. And one thing I was set on—no one should ever take my wife from me. No control stricter than a husband’s loving hand should ever be placed on her, my beautiful, sorrowful darling.
I never spoke of the dream-child to her. The doctor advised against it. It would, he said, only serve to deepen the delusion. When he hinted at an asylum I gave him a look that would have been a fierce word for another man. He never spoke of it again.
I never mentioned the dream-child to her. The doctor advised against it. He said it would only make the delusion worse. When he suggested an asylum, I gave him a look that would have been a harsh comment to another man. He never brought it up again.
One night in August there was a dull, murky sunset after a dead, breathless day of heat, with not a wind stirring. The sea was not blue as a sea should be, but pink—all pink—a ghastly, staring, painted pink. I lingered on the harbor shore below the house until dark. The evening bells were ringing faintly and mournfully in a church across the harbor. Behind me, in the kitchen, I heard my wife singing. Sometimes now her spirits were fitfully high, and then she would sing the old songs of her girlhood. But even in her singing was something strange, as if a wailing, unearthly cry rang through it. Nothing about her was sadder than that strange singing.
One night in August, the sunset was dull and murky after a hot, lifeless day with no breeze. The sea wasn't the blue it should be; it was pink—all pink—a creepy, glaring, artificial pink. I lingered on the harbor shore below the house until it got dark. The evening bells were ringing softly and sadly from a church across the harbor. Behind me, in the kitchen, I heard my wife singing. Sometimes her spirits would randomly lift, and she'd sing the old songs from her childhood. But even in her singing, there was something odd, as if a haunting, otherworldly cry came through it. Nothing about her was sadder than that peculiar singing.
When I went back to the house the rain was beginning to fall; but there was no wind or sound in the air—only that dismal stillness, as if the world were holding its breath in expectation of a calamity.
When I returned to the house, the rain was starting to fall; but there was no wind or noise in the air—just that gloomy silence, as if the world were holding its breath, waiting for something bad to happen.
Josie was standing by the window, looking out and listening. I tried to induce her to go to bed, but she only shook her head.
Josie was standing by the window, gazing outside and listening. I tried to get her to go to bed, but she just shook her head.
"I might fall asleep and not hear him when he called," she said. "I am always afraid to sleep now, for fear he should call and his mother fail to hear him."
"I might fall asleep and not hear him when he calls," she said. "I'm always scared to sleep now, in case he calls and his mom doesn't hear him."
Knowing it was of no use to entreat, I sat down by the table and tried to read. Three hours passed on. When the clock struck midnight she started up, with the wild light in her sunken blue eyes.
Knowing it was pointless to beg, I sat down at the table and attempted to read. Three hours went by. When the clock struck midnight, she suddenly jumped up, her sunken blue eyes shining with a wild light.
"He is calling," she cried, "calling out there in the storm. Yes, yes, sweet, I am coming!"
"He’s calling," she shouted, "calling out there in the storm. Yes, yes, darling, I’m coming!"
She opened the door and fled down the path to the shore. I snatched a lantern from the wall, lighted it, and followed. It was the blackest night I was ever out in, dark with the very darkness of death. The rain fell thickly and heavily. I overtook Josie, caught her hand, and stumbled along in her wake, for she went with the speed and recklessness of a distraught woman. We moved in the little flitting circle of light shed by the lantern. All around us and above us was a horrible, voiceless darkness, held, as it were, at bay by the friendly light.
She opened the door and dashed down the path to the shore. I grabbed a lantern from the wall, lit it, and followed her. It was the darkest night I’ve ever been out in, heavy with the pure darkness of death. The rain poured down relentlessly. I caught up to Josie, took her hand, and stumbled along behind her as she moved with the speed and wildness of a panicked woman. We were surrounded by the small, flickering circle of light from the lantern. All around us and above us was a terrifying, silent darkness, kept at bay by the comforting glow.
"If I could only overtake him once," moaned Josie. "If I could just kiss him once, and hold him close against my aching heart. This pain, that never leaves me, would leave me than. Oh, my pretty boy, wait for mother! I am coming to you. Listen, David; he cries—he cries so pitifully; listen! Can't you hear it?"
"If I could just catch up to him once," Josie lamented. "If I could just kiss him once and hold him tight against my aching heart. This pain that never goes away would disappear then. Oh, my handsome boy, wait for your mother! I'm coming to you. Listen, David; he’s crying—he’s crying so sadly; can’t you hear it?"
I DID hear it! Clear and distinct, out of the deadly still darkness before us, came a faint, wailing cry. What was it? Was I, too, going mad, or WAS there something out there—something that cried and moaned—longing for human love, yet ever retreating from human footsteps? I am not a superstitious man; but my nerve had been shaken by my long trial, and I was weaker than I thought. Terror took possession of me—terror unnameable. I trembled in every limb; clammy perspiration oozed from my forehead; I was possessed by a wild impulse to turn and flee—anywhere, away from that unearthly cry. But Josephine's cold hand gripped mine firmly, and led me on. That strange cry still rang in my ears. But it did not recede; it sounded clearer and stronger; it was a wail; but a loud, insistent wail; it was nearer—nearer; it was in the darkness just beyond us.
I DID hear it! Clear and distinct, out of the deadly still darkness in front of us, came a faint, wailing cry. What was it? Was I going mad too, or was there really something out there—something that cried and moaned—longing for human love, yet always retreating from human steps? I'm not a superstitious person, but my nerves had been rattled by my long ordeal, and I was weaker than I realized. Terror took hold of me—an indescribable terror. I trembled in every limb; cold sweat dripped from my forehead; I was overwhelmed by a wild urge to turn and flee—anywhere, away from that otherworldly cry. But Josephine's cold hand gripped mine tightly and pulled me forward. That strange cry still echoed in my ears. But it didn’t fade; it sounded clearer and stronger; it was a wail; a loud, insistent wail; it was closer—closer; it was in the darkness right beyond us.
Then we came to it; a little dory had been beached on the pebbles and left there by the receding tide. There was a child in it—a boy, of perhaps two years old, who crouched in the bottom of the dory in water to his waist, his big, blue eyes wild and wide with terror, his face white and tear-stained. He wailed again when he saw us, and held out his little hands.
Then we reached it; a small boat had been washed up on the pebbles and left there by the retreating tide. There was a child in it—a boy, maybe two years old, who sat in the bottom of the boat in water up to his waist, his big, blue eyes wild and wide with fear, his face pale and tear-streaked. He cried out again when he saw us and stretched out his little hands.
My horror fell away from me like a discarded garment. THIS child was living. How he had come there, whence and why, I did not know and, in my state of mind, did not question. It was no cry of parted spirit I had heard—that was enough for me.
My fear fell away from me like an old piece of clothing. THIS child was alive. I didn’t know how he got there, where he came from, or why, and in my state of mind, I didn’t ask. The sound I heard wasn’t the cry of a departing spirit—that was enough for me.
"Oh, the poor darling!" cried my wife.
"Oh, the poor thing!" cried my wife.
She stooped over the dory and lifted the baby in her arms. His long, fair curls fell on her shoulder; she laid her face against his and wrapped her shawl around him.
She bent over the small boat and lifted the baby into her arms. His long, light curls rested on her shoulder; she pressed her face against his and wrapped her shawl around him.
"Let me carry him, dear," I said. "He is very wet, and too heavy for you."
"Let me take him, love," I said. "He’s really wet and too heavy for you."
"No, no, I must carry him. My arms have been so empty—they are full now. Oh, David, the pain at my heart has gone. He has come to me to take the place of my own. God has sent him to me out of the sea. He is wet and cold and tired. Hush, sweet one, we will go home."
"No, no, I have to hold him. My arms have felt so empty—they're full now. Oh, David, the pain in my heart has disappeared. He has come to me to fill the void. God has brought him to me from the sea. He's wet, cold, and tired. Hush, my sweet, we’re going home."
Silently I followed her home. The wind was rising, coming in sudden, angry gusts; the storm was at hand, but we reached shelter before it broke. Just as I shut our door behind us it smote the house with the roar of a baffled beast. I thanked God that we were not out in it, following the dream-child.
Silently, I followed her home. The wind was picking up, rushing in sudden, furious gusts; the storm was approaching, but we found shelter before it hit. Just as I closed our door behind us, it slammed into the house with the roar of a frustrated beast. I thanked God that we weren't out in it, chasing the dream-child.
"You are very wet, Josie," I said. "Go and put on dry clothes at once."
"You’re really soaked, Josie," I said. "Go put on some dry clothes right away."
"The child must be looked to first," she said firmly. "See how chilled and exhausted he is, the pretty dear. Light a fire quickly, David, while I get dry things for him."
"The child needs our attention first," she said firmly. "Look how cold and tired he is, the sweet thing. Build a fire quickly, David, while I find some dry clothes for him."
I let her have her way. She brought out the clothes our own child had worn and dressed the waif in them, rubbing his chilled limbs, brushing his wet hair, laughing over him, mothering him. She seemed like her old self.
I let her do what she wanted. She took out the clothes our child had worn and dressed the little boy in them, warming his cold limbs, drying his wet hair, laughing with him, caring for him. She looked like her old self again.
For my own part, I was bewildered. All the questions I had not asked before came crowding to my mind how. Whose child was this? Whence had he come? What was the meaning of it all?
For my part, I was confused. All the questions I hadn't asked before rushed into my mind now. Whose child was this? Where had he come from? What did it all mean?
He was a pretty baby, fair and plump and rosy. When he was dried and fed, he fell asleep in Josie's arms. She hung over him in a passion of delight. It was with difficulty I persuaded her to leave him long enough to change her wet clothes. She never asked whose he might be or from where he might have come. He had been sent to her from the sea; the dream-child had led her to him; that was what she believed, and I dared not throw any doubt on that belief. She slept that night with the baby on her arm, and in her sleep her face was the face of a girl in her youth, untroubled and unworn.
He was an adorable baby, fair, chubby, and rosy-cheeked. After being dried and fed, he fell asleep in Josie's arms. She leaned over him, filled with joy. I had a hard time getting her to leave him long enough to change her wet clothes. She never asked whose baby he was or where he came from. She believed he had been sent to her from the sea; the dream-child had guided her to him. I didn't want to challenge that belief. That night, she slept with the baby on her arm, and in her sleep, her face looked like that of a carefree young girl, untouched and untroubled.
I expected that the morrow would bring some one seeking the baby. I had come to the conclusion that he must belong to the "Cove" across the harbor, where the fishing hamlet was; and all day, while Josie laughed and played with him, I waited and listened for the footsteps of those who would come seeking him. But they did not come. Day after day passed, and still they did not come.
I thought that the next day would bring someone looking for the baby. I figured he must belong to the "Cove" across the harbor, where the fishing village was; and all day, while Josie laughed and played with him, I listened for the footsteps of those who would come looking for him. But they didn't show up. Day after day went by, and still they didn't come.
I was in a maze of perplexity. What should I do? I shrank from the thought of the boy being taken away from us. Since we had found him the dream-child had never called. My wife seemed to have turned back from the dark borderland, where her feet had strayed to walk again with me in our own homely paths. Day and night she was her old, bright self, happy and serene in the new motherhood that had come to her. The only thing strange in her was her calm acceptance of the event. She never wondered who or whose the child might be—never seemed to fear that he would be taken from her; and she gave him our dream-child's name.
I was completely lost in confusion. What should I do? The idea of the boy being taken away from us was unbearable. Ever since we found him, our dream-child had never contacted us. My wife seemed to have returned from a dark place, where she had briefly wandered, to walk again with me on our familiar paths. Day and night, she was her usual bright self, happy and at peace in her new role as a mother. The only unusual thing about her was how calmly she accepted everything. She never questioned who the child could belong to—never seemed scared that he would be taken from her; and she named him after our dream-child.
At last, when a full week had passed, I went, in my bewilderment, to our old doctor.
At last, after a full week had gone by, I went, feeling confused, to see our old doctor.
"A most extraordinary thing," he said thoughtfully. "The child, as you say, must belong to the Spruce Cove people. Yet it is an almost unbelievable thing that there has been no search or inquiry after him. Probably there is some simple explanation of the mystery, however. I advise you to go over to the Cove and inquire. When you find the parents or guardians of the child, ask them to allow you to keep it for a time. It may prove your wife's salvation. I have known such cases. Evidently on that night the crisis of her mental disorder was reached. A little thing might have sufficed to turn her feet either way—back to reason and sanity, or into deeper darkness. It is my belief that the former has occurred, and that, if she is left in undisturbed possession of this child for a time, she will recover completely."
"That's really something," he said thoughtfully. "The child, as you mentioned, must belong to the Spruce Cove community. Yet it's hard to believe that no one has looked for him or asked about him. There’s probably a simple explanation for this mystery, though. I suggest you head over to the Cove and ask around. When you find the child’s parents or guardians, request their permission to keep him for a while. It might just be what your wife needs to get better. I’ve seen cases like this before. Clearly, that night marked a turning point in her mental condition. Something small could have swayed her one way or the other—back to clarity and health, or deeper into turmoil. I believe it's the former that has happened, and if she can spend some time with this child undisturbed, she will fully recover."
I drove around the harbor that day with a lighter heart than I had hoped ever to possess again. When I reached Spruce Cove the first person I met was old Abel Blair. I asked him if any child were missing from the Cove or along shore. He looked at me in surprise, shook his head, and said he had not heard of any. I told him as much of the tale as was necessary, leaving him to think that my wife and I had found the dory and its small passenger during an ordinary walk along the shore.
I drove around the harbor that day feeling lighter than I ever thought I would again. When I got to Spruce Cove, the first person I ran into was old Abel Blair. I asked him if any kids were missing from the Cove or the shore. He looked surprised, shook his head, and said he hadn’t heard of any. I shared just enough of the story to let him believe that my wife and I had discovered the dory and its small passenger during a regular walk along the shore.
"A green dory!" he exclaimed. "Ben Forbes' old green dory has been missing for a week, but it was so rotten and leaky he didn't bother looking for it. But this child, sir—it beats me. What might he be like?"
"A green dory!" he exclaimed. "Ben Forbes' old green dory has been missing for a week, but it was so rotten and leaky he didn’t bother looking for it. But this kid, sir—it puzzles me. What could he be like?"
I described the child as closely as possible.
I described the child as accurately as I could.
"That fits little Harry Martin to a hair," said old Abel, perplexedly, "but, sir, it can't be. Or, if it is, there's been foul work somewhere. James Martin's wife died last winter, sir, and he died the next month. They left a baby and not much else. There weren't nobody to take the child but Jim's half-sister, Maggie Fleming. She lived here at the Cove, and, I'm sorry to say, sir, she hadn't too good a name. She didn't want to be bothered with the baby, and folks say she neglected him scandalous. Well, last spring she begun talking of going away to the States. She said a friend of hers had got her a good place in Boston, and she was going to go and take little Harry. We supposed it was all right. Last Saturday she went, sir. She was going to walk to the station, and the last seen of her she was trudging along the road, carrying the baby. It hasn't been thought of since. But, sir, d'ye suppose she set that innocent child adrift in that old leaky dory to send him to his death? I knew Maggie was no better than she should be, but I can't believe she was as bad as that."
"That fits little Harry Martin perfectly," said old Abel, confused. "But, sir, it can't be. Or if it is, something terrible has happened. James Martin's wife died last winter, and he passed away the next month. They left behind a baby and not much else. There was no one to take care of the child except Jim's half-sister, Maggie Fleming. She lived here at the Cove, and I'm sorry to say, she didn't have a good reputation. She didn’t want to deal with the baby, and people say she neglected him horribly. Well, last spring, she started talking about leaving for the States. She said a friend of hers got her a good job in Boston, and she was planning to take little Harry with her. We thought everything was fine. Last Saturday, she left. She was going to walk to the station, and the last anyone saw of her was trudging down the road with the baby. No one has thought about it since. But, sir, do you think she would really put that innocent child in that old, leaky boat to send him to his death? I knew Maggie wasn’t the best person, but I can’t believe she was that cruel."
"You must come over with me and see if you can identify the child," I said. "If he is Harry Martin I shall keep him. My wife has been very lonely since our baby died, and she has taken a fancy to this little chap."
"You have to come with me and see if you can recognize the child," I said. "If he's Harry Martin, I'll keep him. My wife has been really lonely since our baby passed away, and she's really taken a liking to this little guy."
When we reached my home old Abel recognized the child as Harry Martin.
When we got to my house, old Abel recognized the kid as Harry Martin.
He is with us still. His baby hands led my dear wife back to health and happiness. Other children have come to us, she loves them all dearly; but the boy who bears her dead son's name is to her—aye, and to me—as dear as if she had given him birth. He came from the sea, and at his coming the ghostly dream-child fled, nevermore to lure my wife away from me with its exciting cry. Therefore I look upon him and love him as my first-born.
He is still with us. His little hands helped my dear wife find her way back to health and happiness. Other kids have come into our lives, and she loves them all dearly; but the boy who shares her late son’s name is to her—and to me—just as precious as if she had given him life. He came from the sea, and with his arrival, the haunting dream-child disappeared, never again to pull my wife away from me with its tempting call. So, I see him and love him as my firstborn.
VI. THE BROTHER WHO FAILED
The Monroe family were holding a Christmas reunion at the old Prince Edward Island homestead at White Sands. It was the first time they had all been together under one roof since the death of their mother, thirty years before. The idea of this Christmas reunion had originated with Edith Monroe the preceding spring, during her tedious convalescence from a bad attack of pneumonia among strangers in an American city, where she had not been able to fill her concert engagements, and had more spare time in which to feel the tug of old ties and the homesick longing for her own people than she had had for years. As a result, when she recovered, she wrote to her second brother, James Monroe, who lived on the homestead; and the consequence was this gathering of the Monroes under the old roof-tree. Ralph Monroe for once laid aside the cares of his railroads, and the deceitfulness of his millions, in Toronto and took the long-promised, long-deferred trip to the homeland. Malcolm Monroe journeyed from the far western university of which he was president. Edith came, flushed with the triumph of her latest and most successful concert tour. Mrs. Woodburn, who had been Margaret Monroe, came from the Nova Scotia town where she lived a busy, happy life as the wife of a rising young lawyer. James, prosperous and hearty, greeted them warmly at the old homestead whose fertile acres had well repaid his skillful management.
The Monroe family was having a Christmas reunion at their old homestead on Prince Edward Island at White Sands. It was the first time they had all been under one roof since their mother passed away thirty years ago. The idea for this Christmas reunion had come from Edith Monroe the previous spring, during her long recovery from a severe case of pneumonia in a strange American city. There, she missed her concert engagements and had more time to feel homesick and nostalgic for her family than she had in years. As a result, when she got better, she reached out to her brother James Monroe, who still lived at the homestead; and that’s how the Monroes came together again under the old roof. Ralph Monroe finally set aside the worries of his railroads and his wealth in Toronto and took the long-promised trip back home. Malcolm Monroe traveled from the distant university where he was president. Edith arrived, glowing with the success of her latest concert tour. Mrs. Woodburn, formerly Margaret Monroe, came from the Nova Scotia town where she lived a busy, happy life as the wife of a rising young lawyer. James, now prosperous and hearty, greeted them warmly at the old homestead, whose fertile land had thrived under his skillful management.
They were a merry party, casting aside their cares and years, and harking back to joyous boyhood and girlhood once more. James had a family of rosy lads and lasses; Margaret brought her two blue-eyed little girls; Ralph's dark, clever-looking son accompanied him, and Malcolm brought his, a young man with a resolute face, in which there was less of boyishness than in his father's, and the eyes of a keen, perhaps a hard bargainer. The two cousins were the same age to a day, and it was a family joke among the Monroes that the stork must have mixed the babies, since Ralph's son was like Malcolm in face and brain, while Malcolm's boy was a second edition of his uncle Ralph.
They were a cheerful group, putting aside their worries and ages, and reminiscing about the happy days of childhood. James had a bunch of rosy-cheeked kids; Margaret brought her two blue-eyed daughters; Ralph's sharp-looking son joined him, and Malcolm brought his son, a young man with a determined expression, less boyish than his father’s, with the eyes of someone who knew how to negotiate hard. The two cousins were the same age to the day, and it was a running joke among the Monroes that the stork must have mixed them up, since Ralph's son resembled Malcolm in looks and smarts, while Malcolm's boy was a younger version of his uncle Ralph.
To crown all, Aunt Isabel came, too—a talkative, clever, shrewd old lady, as young at eighty-five as she had been at thirty, thinking the Monroe stock the best in the world, and beamingly proud of her nephews and nieces, who had gone out from this humble, little farm to destinies of such brilliance and influence in the world beyond.
To top it all off, Aunt Isabel showed up as well—a chatty, sharp, and wise old lady, as youthful at eighty-five as she had been at thirty, believing that the Monroe family was the best in the world and proudly bragging about her nephews and nieces, who had left this small farm for bright and influential lives out in the larger world.
I have forgotten Robert. Robert Monroe was apt to be forgotten. Although he was the oldest of the family, White Sands people, in naming over the various members of the Monroe family, would add, "and Robert," in a tone of surprise over the remembrance of his existence.
I have forgotten Robert. Robert Monroe was easy to overlook. Even though he was the oldest in the family, people in White Sands, when listing the various members of the Monroe family, would say, "and Robert," with a note of surprise at recalling he was part of the family.
He lived on a poor, sandy little farm down by the shore, but he had come up to James' place on the evening when the guests arrived; they had all greeted him warmly and joyously, and then did not think about him again in their laughter and conversation. Robert sat back in a corner and listened with a smile, but he never spoke. Afterwards he had slipped noiselessly away and gone home, and nobody noticed his going. They were all gayly busy recalling what had happened in the old times and telling what had happened in the new.
He lived on a small, rundown farm by the shore, but he came up to James' place the evening the guests arrived. They all welcomed him warmly and happily, but then forgot about him in their laughter and conversations. Robert sat quietly in a corner, listening with a smile but never speaking. Later, he slipped away quietly and headed home, and no one noticed he was gone. They were all cheerfully reminiscing about the past and sharing stories about the present.
Edith recounted the successes of her concert tours; Malcolm expatiated proudly on his plans for developing his beloved college; Ralph described the country through which his new railroad ran, and the difficulties he had had to overcome in connection with it. James, aside, discussed his orchard and his crops with Margaret, who had not been long enough away from the farm to lose touch with its interests. Aunt Isabel knitted and smiled complacently on all, talking now with one, now with the other, secretly quite proud of herself that she, an old woman of eighty-five, who had seldom been out of White Sands in her life, could discuss high finance with Ralph, and higher education with Malcolm, and hold her own with James in an argument on drainage.
Edith shared the highlights of her concert tours; Malcolm proudly talked about his plans for improving his beloved college; Ralph described the countryside where his new railroad ran and the challenges he had to overcome with it. James, off to the side, conversed about his orchard and crops with Margaret, who hadn’t been away from the farm long enough to lose interest in its affairs. Aunt Isabel knitted and smiled contentedly at everyone, chatting with one person and then another, secretly quite proud of herself for being an eighty-five-year-old woman who had rarely ventured beyond White Sands, yet could discuss finance with Ralph, higher education with Malcolm, and argue about drainage with James.
The White Sands school teacher, an arch-eyed, red-mouthed bit a girl—a Bell from Avonlea—who boarded with the James Monroes, amused herself with the boys. All were enjoying themselves hugely, so it is not to be wondered at that they did not miss Robert, who had gone home early because his old housekeeper was nervous if left alone at night.
The White Sands school teacher, a girl with sharp eyes and a bright red mouth—a Bell from Avonlea—was staying with the James Monroes and had fun with the boys. They were all having a great time, so it’s no surprise they didn't notice Robert, who had gone home early because his older housekeeper got anxious when left alone at night.
He came again the next afternoon. From James, in the barnyard, he learned that Malcolm and Ralph had driven to the harbor, that Margaret and Mrs. James had gone to call on friends in Avonlea, and that Edith was walking somewhere in the woods on the hill. There was nobody in the house except Aunt Isabel and the teacher.
He showed up again the next afternoon. From James, in the barnyard, he found out that Malcolm and Ralph had gone to the harbor, that Margaret and Mrs. James were visiting friends in Avonlea, and that Edith was wandering somewhere in the woods on the hill. The only ones in the house were Aunt Isabel and the teacher.
"You'd better wait and stay the evening," said James, indifferently. "They'll all be back soon."
"You should probably wait and stick around for the evening," James said casually. "They'll all be back soon."
Robert went across the yard and sat down on the rustic bench in the angle of the front porch. It was a fine December evening, as mild as autumn; there had been no snow, and the long fields, sloping down from the homestead, were brown and mellow. A weird, dreamy stillness had fallen upon the purple earth, the windless woods, the rain of the valleys, the sere meadows. Nature seemed to have folded satisfied hands to rest, knowing that her long, wintry slumber was coming upon her. Out to sea, a dull, red sunset faded out into somber clouds, and the ceaseless voice of many waters came up from the tawny shore.
Robert walked across the yard and sat on the rustic bench at the corner of the front porch. It was a nice December evening, as mild as autumn; there hadn’t been any snow, and the long fields, sloping down from the homestead, were brown and mellow. A strange, dreamy stillness had settled over the purple earth, the windless woods, the valleys' rain, and the dry meadows. Nature seemed to have folded its hands in contentment, ready for its long winter sleep. Out at sea, a dull red sunset faded into dark clouds, and the endless sound of the waves came up from the sandy shore.
Robert rested his chin on his hand and looked across the vales and hills, where the feathery gray of leafless hardwoods was mingled with the sturdy, unfailing green of the conebearers. He was a tall, bent man, with thin, gray hair, a lined face, and deeply-set, gentle brown eyes—the eyes of one who, looking through pain, sees rapture beyond.
Robert rested his chin on his hand and looked across the valleys and hills, where the soft gray of bare hardwoods mixed with the strong, reliable green of evergreens. He was a tall, hunched man, with thin, gray hair, a wrinkled face, and deep, gentle brown eyes—the eyes of someone who, having endured pain, sees joy on the other side.
He felt very happy. He loved his family clannishly, and he was rejoiced that they were all again near to him. He was proud of their success and fame. He was glad that James had prospered so well of late years. There was no canker of envy or discontent in his soul.
He felt really happy. He loved his family fiercely, and he was thrilled that they were all close to him again. He was proud of their success and recognition. He was glad that James had done so well in recent years. There was no trace of envy or discontent in his heart.
He heard absently indistinct voices at the open hall window above the porch, where Aunt Isabel was talking to Kathleen Bell. Presently Aunt Isabel moved nearer to the window, and her words came down to Robert with startling clearness.
He heard faint, unclear voices at the open hall window above the porch, where Aunt Isabel was chatting with Kathleen Bell. Shortly after, Aunt Isabel moved closer to the window, and her words came down to Robert with surprising clarity.
"Yes, I can assure you, Miss Bell, that I'm real proud of my nephews and nieces. They're a smart family. They've almost all done well, and they hadn't any of them much to begin with. Ralph had absolutely nothing and to-day he is a millionaire. Their father met with so many losses, what with his ill-health and the bank failing, that he couldn't help them any. But they've all succeeded, except poor Robert—and I must admit that he's a total failure."
"Yes, I can assure you, Miss Bell, that I'm really proud of my nephews and nieces. They’re a smart family. Almost all of them have done well, and they started with hardly anything. Ralph had absolutely nothing, and today he’s a millionaire. Their father faced so many setbacks due to his poor health and the bank failing that he couldn’t help them at all. But they’ve all succeeded, except for poor Robert—and I must admit that he’s a complete failure."
"Oh, no, no," said the little teacher deprecatingly.
"Oh, no, no," said the little teacher, feeling a bit embarrassed.
"A total failure!" Aunt Isabel repeated her words emphatically. She was not going to be contradicted by anybody, least of all a Bell from Avonlea. "He has been a failure since the time he was born. He is the first Monroe to disgrace the old stock that way. I'm sure his brothers and sisters must be dreadfully ashamed of him. He has lived sixty years and he hasn't done a thing worth while. He can't even make his farm pay. If he's kept out of debt it's as much as he's ever managed to do."
"A complete failure!" Aunt Isabel said firmly. She refused to let anyone contradict her, especially not a Bell from Avonlea. "He's been a failure since the day he was born. He's the first Monroe to bring shame to our family like this. I bet his brothers and sisters are incredibly embarrassed by him. He's lived for sixty years and hasn’t accomplished anything of value. He can't even make his farm profitable. If he’s managed to stay out of debt, that’s the most he’s ever achieved."
"Some men can't even do that," murmured the little school teacher. She was really so much in awe of this imperious, clever old Aunt Isabel that it was positive heroism on her part to venture even this faint protest.
"Some men can't even do that," whispered the little school teacher. She was so in awe of this commanding, smart old Aunt Isabel that it took real bravery for her to even make this slight objection.
"More is expected of a Monroe," said Aunt Isabel majestically. "Robert Monroe is a failure, and that is the only name for him."
"More is expected from a Monroe," Aunt Isabel said with a sense of authority. "Robert Monroe is a failure, and that's the only way to describe him."
Robert Monroe stood up below the window in a dizzy, uncertain fashion. Aunt Isabel had been speaking of him! He, Robert, was a failure, a disgrace to his blood, of whom his nearest and dearest were ashamed! Yes, it was true; he had never realized it before; he had known that he could never win power or accumulate riches, but he had not thought that mattered much. Now, through Aunt Isabel's scornful eyes, he saw himself as the world saw him—as his brothers and sisters must see him. THERE lay the sting. What the world thought of him did not matter; but that his own should think him a failure and disgrace was agony. He moaned as he started to walk across the yard, only anxious to hide his pain and shame away from all human sight, and in his eyes was the look of a gentle animal which had been stricken by a cruel and unexpected blow.
Robert Monroe stood unsteadily below the window, feeling dizzy. Aunt Isabel had been talking about him! He, Robert, was a failure, a disgrace to his family, and his closest relatives were ashamed of him! Yes, it was true; he had never realized it before. He knew he could never gain power or accumulate wealth, but he hadn’t thought that was a big deal. Now, through Aunt Isabel’s scornful gaze, he saw himself the way the world saw him—as his brothers and sisters must see him. THAT was the real pain. What the world thought of him didn’t matter; but the fact that his own family considered him a failure and disgrace was unbearable. He groaned as he began to walk across the yard, desperate to hide his pain and shame from everyone, his eyes reflecting the look of a gentle animal that had just been struck by a cruel and unexpected blow.
Edith Monroe, who, unaware of Robert's proximity, had been standing on the other side of the porch, saw that look, as he hurried past her, unseeing. A moment before her dark eyes had been flashing with anger at Aunt Isabel's words; now the anger was drowned in a sudden rush of tears.
Edith Monroe, who was unaware of Robert being nearby, stood on the other side of the porch and noticed that look as he hurried past her, oblivious. Just a moment ago, her dark eyes were blazing with anger at Aunt Isabel's words; now, that anger was overwhelmed by a sudden wave of tears.
She took a quick step after Robert, but checked the impulse. Not then—and not by her alone—could that deadly hurt be healed. Nay, more, Robert must never suspect that she knew of any hurt. She stood and watched him through her tears as he went away across the low-lying shore fields to hide his broken heart under his own humble roof. She yearned to hurry after him and comfort him, but she knew that comfort was not what Robert needed now. Justice, and justice only, could pluck out the sting, which otherwise must rankle to the death.
She took a quick step after Robert but held back the urge. Not then—and not by herself—could that painful hurt be healed. Moreover, Robert must never suspect that she was aware of any pain. She stood there and watched him through her tears as he walked away across the low-lying fields to hide his broken heart under his own modest roof. She longed to run after him and comfort him, but she knew that comfort was not what Robert needed right now. Justice, and only justice, could remove the sting, which otherwise would fester until the end.
Ralph and Malcolm were driving into the yard. Edith went over to them.
Ralph and Malcolm were pulling into the driveway. Edith walked over to them.
"Boys," she said resolutely, "I want to have a talk with you."
"Boys," she said firmly, "I need to talk to you."
The Christmas dinner at the old homestead was a merry one. Mrs. James spread a feast that was fit for the halls of Lucullus. Laughter, jest, and repartee flew from lip to lip. Nobody appeared to notice that Robert ate little, said nothing, and sat with his form shrinking in his shabby "best" suit, his gray head bent even lower than usual, as if desirous of avoiding all observation. When the others spoke to him he answered deprecatingly, and shrank still further into himself.
The Christmas dinner at the old homestead was a cheerful occasion. Mrs. James laid out a feast worthy of royalty. Laughter, jokes, and banter passed around the table. No one seemed to notice that Robert ate very little, said nothing, and sat with his form hunched in his worn "best" suit, his gray head bowed even lower than usual, as if he wanted to avoid all attention. When others spoke to him, he replied modestly and pulled back even further into himself.
Finally all had eaten all they could, and the remainder of the plum pudding was carried out. Robert gave a low sigh of relief. It was almost over. Soon he would be able to escape and hide himself and his shame away from the mirthful eyes of these men and women who had earned the right to laugh at the world in which their success gave them power and influence. He—he—only—was a failure.
Finally, everyone had eaten all they could, and the leftover plum pudding was taken away. Robert let out a quiet sigh of relief. It was almost over. Soon he would be able to slip away and hide himself and his shame from the cheerful faces of these men and women who had earned the right to laugh at the world that their success granted them power and influence over. He—he—was the only—failure.
He wondered impatiently why Mrs. James did not rise. Mrs. James merely leaned comfortably back in her chair, with the righteous expression of one who has done her duty by her fellow creatures' palates, and looked at Malcolm.
He wondered impatiently why Mrs. James wasn't getting up. Mrs. James just leaned back comfortably in her chair, wearing the self-satisfied look of someone who has done her part to satisfy the tastes of others, and stared at Malcolm.
Malcolm rose in his place. Silence fell on the company; everybody looked suddenly alert and expectant, except Robert. He still sat with bowed head, wrapped in his own bitterness.
Malcolm stood up in his spot. Silence descended on the group; everyone suddenly looked attentive and eager, except for Robert. He remained seated with his head down, consumed by his own resentment.
"I have been told that I must lead off," said Malcolm, "because I am supposed to possess the gift of gab. But, if I do, I am not going to use it for any rhetorical effect to-day. Simple, earnest words must express the deepest feelings of the heart in doing justice to its own. Brothers and sisters, we meet to-day under our own roof-tree, surrounded by the benedictions of the past years. Perhaps invisible guests are here—the spirits of those who founded this home and whose work on earth has long been finished. It is not amiss to hope that this is so and our family circle made indeed complete. To each one of us who are here in visible bodily presence some measure of success has fallen; but only one of us has been supremely successful in the only things that really count—the things that count for eternity as well as time—sympathy and unselfishness and self-sacrifice.
"I’ve been told that I should start," said Malcolm, "because I’m supposed to be a good talker. But if I am, I won’t use it for any dramatic effect today. Simple, heartfelt words should convey the deepest feelings of our hearts to truly honor them. Brothers and sisters, we gather today under our own roof, surrounded by the blessings of the past years. Perhaps there are invisible guests here—the spirits of those who built this home and whose work on earth has long been done. It’s not unreasonable to hope that this is the case and that our family circle is indeed complete. Each of us present in body has achieved some level of success; however, only one among us has been truly successful in the only things that really matter—those things that are important for both eternity and this life—compassion, selflessness, and sacrifice."
"I shall tell you my own story for the benefit of those who have not heard it. When I was a lad of sixteen I started to work out my own education. Some of you will remember that old Mr. Blair of Avonlea offered me a place in his store for the summer, at wages which would go far towards paying my expenses at the country academy the next winter. I went to work, eager and hopeful. All summer I tried to do my faithful best for my employer. In September the blow fell. A sum of money was missing from Mr. Blair's till. I was suspected and discharged in disgrace. All my neighbors believed me guilty; even some of my own family looked upon me with suspicion—nor could I blame them, for the circumstantial evidence was strongly against me."
"I’m going to share my story for those who haven’t heard it. When I was sixteen, I started to take charge of my own education. Some of you might remember that old Mr. Blair from Avonlea offered me a summer job at his store, with pay that would help cover my expenses at the country academy the following winter. I jumped in, eager and hopeful. All summer, I did my best for my boss. Then in September, disaster struck. A sum of money went missing from Mr. Blair's cash register. I was suspected and fired in shame. All my neighbors thought I was guilty; even some of my own family viewed me with doubt—and I couldn’t blame them, because the circumstantial evidence was heavily against me."
Ralph and James looked ashamed; Edith and Margaret, who had not been born at the time referred to, lifted their faces innocently. Robert did not move or glance up. He hardly seemed to be listening.
Ralph and James looked embarrassed; Edith and Margaret, who hadn't been born at that time, raised their faces innocently. Robert didn't move or look up. He barely seemed to be paying attention.
"I was crushed in an agony of shame and despair," continued Malcolm. "I believed my career was ruined. I was bent on casting all my ambitions behind me, and going west to some place where nobody knew me or my disgrace. But there was one person who believed in my innocence, who said to me, 'You shall not give up—you shall not behave as if you were guilty. You are innocent, and in time your innocence will be proved. Meanwhile show yourself a man. You have nearly enough to pay your way next winter at the Academy. I have a little I can give to help you out. Don't give in—never give in when you have done no wrong.'
"I was overwhelmed with shame and despair," Malcolm continued. "I thought my career was finished. I was ready to give up all my dreams and move out west to somewhere no one knew me or my shame. But there was one person who believed in my innocence, who told me, 'You can't give up—you can't act like you're guilty. You are innocent, and eventually, your innocence will be proven. In the meantime, act like a man. You’re almost able to cover your expenses for next winter at the Academy. I can give you a little help. Don’t back down—never back down when you’ve done nothing wrong.'"
"I listened and took his advice. I went to the Academy. My story was there as soon as I was, and I found myself sneered at and shunned. Many a time I would have given up in despair, had it not been for the encouragement of my counselor. He furnished the backbone for me. I was determined that his belief in me should be justified. I studied hard and came out at the head of my class. Then there seemed to be no chance of my earning any more money that summer. But a farmer at Newbridge, who cared nothing about the character of his help, if he could get the work out of them, offered to hire me. The prospect was distasteful but, urged by the man who believed in me, I took the place and endured the hardships. Another winter of lonely work passed at the Academy. I won the Farrell Scholarship the last year it was offered, and that meant an Arts course for me. I went to Redmond College. My story was not openly known there, but something of it got abroad, enough to taint my life there also with its suspicion. But the year I graduated, Mr. Blair's nephew, who, as you know, was the real culprit, confessed his guilt, and I was cleared before the world. Since then my career has been what is called a brilliant one. But"—Malcolm turned and laid his hand on Robert's thin shoulder—"all of my success I owe to my brother Robert. It is his success—not mine—and here to-day, since we have agreed to say what is too often left to be said over a coffin lid, I thank him for all he did for me, and tell him that there is nothing I am more proud of and thankful for than such a brother."
"I listened to him and took his advice. I went to the Academy. My story was there as soon as I arrived, and I found myself laughed at and avoided. Many times I would have given up in despair if it weren't for the support of my counselor. He gave me strength. I was determined to prove his faith in me was justified. I studied hard and graduated at the top of my class. Then it seemed like there was no way for me to earn more money that summer. But a farmer in Newbridge, who didn’t care about the character of his help as long as the work got done, offered me a job. The prospect wasn't appealing, but encouraged by the man who believed in me, I took the job and endured the hardships. Another lonely winter passed at the Academy. I won the Farrell Scholarship the last year it was offered, which meant I could pursue an Arts course. I went to Redmond College. My story wasn't widely known there, but bits of it spread enough to affect my life there with suspicion. However, the year I graduated, Mr. Blair's nephew, who, as you know, was the real culprit, confessed his guilt, and I was exonerated before the public eye. Since then, my career has been what people call brilliant. But"—Malcolm turned and placed his hand on Robert's thin shoulder—"all of my success is thanks to my brother Robert. It’s his success—not mine—and here today, since we've agreed to express what is too often left unsaid until it's too late, I thank him for everything he did for me, and I want him to know that there’s nothing I’m more proud of or grateful for than having such a brother."
Robert had looked up at last, amazed, bewildered, incredulous. His face crimsoned as Malcolm sat down. But now Ralph was getting up.
Robert finally looked up, astonished, confused, and in disbelief. His face turned red as Malcolm took a seat. But now Ralph was standing up.
"I am no orator as Malcolm is," he quoted gayly, "but I've got a story to tell, too, which only one of you knows. Forty years ago, when I started in life as a business man, money wasn't so plentiful with me as it may be to-day. And I needed it badly. A chance came my way to make a pile of it. It wasn't a clean chance. It was a dirty chance. It looked square on the surface; but, underneath, it meant trickery and roguery. I hadn't enough perception to see that, though—I was fool enough to think it was all right. I told Robert what I meant to do. And Robert saw clear through the outward sham to the real, hideous thing underneath. He showed me what it meant and he gave me a preachment about a few Monroe Traditions of truth and honor. I saw what I had been about to do as he saw it—as all good men and true must see it. And I vowed then and there that I'd never go into anything that I wasn't sure was fair and square and clean through and through. I've kept that vow. I am a rich man, and not a dollar of my money is 'tainted' money. But I didn't make it. Robert really made every cent of my money. If it hadn't been for him I'd have been a poor man to-day, or behind prison bars, as are the other men who went into that deal when I backed out. I've got a son here. I hope he'll be as clever as his Uncle Malcolm; but I hope, still more earnestly, that he'll be as good and honorable a man as his Uncle Robert."
"I’m not as good at speaking as Malcolm is," he said cheerfully, "but I have a story to share, too, and only one of you knows it. Forty years ago, when I started my career as a businessman, I didn’t have as much money as I might today. I really needed it. An opportunity came along to make a lot of it. It wasn’t a good opportunity. It was a shady one. It looked legitimate on the surface, but underneath, it involved trickery and deceit. I didn’t have the insight to see that at the time—I was naive enough to think it was all fine. I told Robert what I planned to do. And Robert saw right through the fake front to the ugly truth underneath. He explained what it really meant and gave me a lecture on a few Monroe Traditions of truth and honor. I recognized what I was about to do in the same way he saw it—as any decent person should. I promised right then and there that I would never get involved in anything unless I was certain it was fair, honest, and completely above board. I’ve stuck to that promise. I’m wealthy now, and not a single dollar of my money is 'tainted' money. But I didn’t earn it. Robert truly earned every cent of my fortune. If it hadn’t been for him, I’d be a poor man today, or behind bars, like the other guys who got involved in that deal when I backed out. I have a son here. I hope he’ll be as smart as his Uncle Malcolm, but even more, I sincerely hope he’ll be as good and honorable as his Uncle Robert."
By this time Robert's head was bent again, and his face buried in his hands.
By this time, Robert had his head down again, with his face buried in his hands.
"My turn next," said James. "I haven't much to say—only this. After mother died I took typhoid fever. Here I was with no one to wait on me. Robert came and nursed me. He was the most faithful, tender, gentle nurse ever a man had. The doctor said Robert saved my life. I don't suppose any of the rest of us here can say we have saved a life."
"My turn next," James said. "I don't have much to share—just this. After Mom died, I got typhoid fever. I was alone, with no one to take care of me. Robert came and looked after me. He was the most devoted, caring, gentle nurse anyone could have. The doctor said Robert saved my life. I bet none of the rest of us here can say we've saved a life."
Edith wiped away her tears and sprang up impulsively.
Edith wiped away her tears and jumped up on impulse.
"Years ago," she said, "there was a poor, ambitious girl who had a voice. She wanted a musical education and her only apparent chance of obtaining it was to get a teacher's certificate and earn money enough to have her voice trained. She studied hard, but her brains, in mathematics at least, weren't as good as her voice, and the time was short. She failed. She was lost in disappointment and despair, for that was the last year in which it was possible to obtain a teacher's certificate without attending Queen's Academy, and she could not afford that. Then her oldest brother came to her and told her he could spare enough money to send her to the conservatory of music in Halifax for a year. He made her take it. She never knew till long afterwards that he had sold the beautiful horse which he loved like a human creature, to get the money. She went to the Halifax conservatory. She won a musical scholarship. She has had a happy life and a successful career. And she owes it all to her brother Robert—"
"Years ago," she said, "there was a poor, ambitious girl who had a voice. She wanted a musical education, and her only way to get it was to earn a teacher's certificate and make enough money to train her voice. She studied hard, but her mind, at least in math, wasn't as strong as her voice, and time was running out. She failed. She was overwhelmed with disappointment and despair, since that was the last year she could obtain a teacher's certificate without attending Queen's Academy, and she couldn't afford that. Then her oldest brother came to her and told her he could give her enough money to attend the conservatory of music in Halifax for a year. He made her accept it. She never found out until much later that he sold the beautiful horse he loved like a family member to get the money. She went to the Halifax conservatory. She won a music scholarship. She has had a happy life and a successful career. And she owes it all to her brother Robert—"
But Edith could go no further. Her voice failed her and she sat down in tears. Margaret did not try to stand up.
But Edith couldn't go any further. Her voice gave out, and she sat down in tears. Margaret didn't try to get up.
"I was only five when my mother died," she sobbed. "Robert was both father and mother to me. Never had child or girl so wise and loving a guardian as he was to me. I have never forgotten the lessons he taught me. Whatever there is of good in my life or character I owe to him. I was often headstrong and willful, but he never lost patience with me. I owe everything to Robert."
"I was only five when my mom passed away," she cried. "Robert was both a dad and a mom to me. I’ve never had a wiser and more loving guardian than he was. I’ve never forgotten the lessons he taught me. Whatever good there is in my life or character, I owe to him. I was often stubborn and willful, but he never lost his patience with me. I owe everything to Robert."
Suddenly the little teacher rose with wet eyes and crimson cheeks.
Suddenly, the small teacher stood up with tearful eyes and flushed cheeks.
"I have something to say, too," she said resolutely. "You have spoken for yourselves. I speak for the people of White Sands. There is a man in this settlement whom everybody loves. I shall tell you some of the things he has done."
"I have something to say, too," she said firmly. "You have spoken for yourselves. I speak for the people of White Sands. There is a man in this settlement whom everyone loves. I will tell you some of the things he's done."
"Last fall, in an October storm, the harbor lighthouse flew a flag of distress. Only one man was brave enough to face the danger of sailing to the lighthouse to find out what the trouble was. That was Robert Monroe. He found the keeper alone with a broken leg; and he sailed back and made—yes, MADE the unwilling and terrified doctor go with him to the lighthouse. I saw him when he told the doctor he must go; and I tell you that no man living could have set his will against Robert Monroe's at that moment.
"Last fall, in an October storm, the harbor lighthouse raised a distress flag. Only one man was brave enough to face the danger of sailing to the lighthouse to find out what was wrong. That man was Robert Monroe. He found the keeper alone with a broken leg; then he sailed back and forced the unwilling and terrified doctor to go with him to the lighthouse. I saw him when he told the doctor he had to go, and I can tell you that no one alive could have stood up to Robert Monroe's determination at that moment."
"Four years ago old Sarah Cooper was to be taken to the poorhouse. She was broken-hearted. One man took the poor, bed-ridden, fretful old creature into his home, paid for medical attendance, and waited on her himself, when his housekeeper couldn't endure her tantrums and temper. Sarah Cooper died two years afterwards, and her latest breath was a benediction on Robert Monroe—the best man God ever made.
"Four years ago, old Sarah Cooper was going to be sent to a poorhouse. She was heartbroken. One man took the frail, bedridden, and irritable old woman into his home, paid for her medical care, and looked after her himself when his housekeeper couldn't handle her outbursts and temper. Sarah Cooper passed away two years later, and her last words were a blessing for Robert Monroe—the best man God ever made."
"Eight years ago Jack Blewitt wanted a place. Nobody would hire him, because his father was in the penitentiary, and some people thought Jack ought to be there, too. Robert Monroe hired him—and helped him, and kept him straight, and got him started right—and Jack Blewitt is a hard-working, respected young man to-day, with every prospect of a useful and honorable life. There is hardly a man, woman, or child in White Sands who doesn't owe something to Robert Monroe!"
"Eight years ago, Jack Blewitt wanted a job. No one would hire him because his dad was in prison, and some people thought Jack should be there too. Robert Monroe hired him—and supported him, kept him on track, and helped him get started right—and now Jack Blewitt is a hardworking, respected young man with a bright future ahead of him. There's hardly a man, woman, or child in White Sands who doesn't owe something to Robert Monroe!"
As Kathleen Bell sat down, Malcolm sprang up and held out his hands.
As Kathleen Bell sat down, Malcolm jumped up and extended his hands.
"Every one of us stand up and sing Auld Lang Syne," he cried.
"Everyone, stand up and sing Auld Lang Syne," he shouted.
Everybody stood up and joined hands, but one did not sing. Robert Monroe stood erect, with a great radiance on his face and in his eyes. His reproach had been taken away; he was crowned among his kindred with the beauty and blessing of sacred yesterdays.
Everybody stood up and held hands, but one person didn’t sing. Robert Monroe stood tall, with a bright light on his face and in his eyes. His disappointment had vanished; he was celebrated among his family with the beauty and blessings of cherished memories.
When the singing ceased Malcolm's stern-faced son reached over and shook Robert's hands.
When the singing stopped, Malcolm's serious-faced son reached over and shook Robert's hand.
"Uncle Rob," he said heartily, "I hope that when I'm sixty I'll be as successful a man as you."
"Uncle Rob," he said with enthusiasm, "I hope that when I'm sixty, I'll be as successful as you."
"I guess," said Aunt Isabel, aside to the little school teacher, as she wiped the tears from her keen old eyes, "that there's a kind of failure that's the best success."
"I guess," said Aunt Isabel, turning to the little school teacher and wiping the tears from her sharp old eyes, "that there's a kind of failure that's actually the best kind of success."
VII. THE RETURN OF HESTER
Just at dusk, that evening, I had gone upstairs and put on my muslin gown. I had been busy all day attending to the strawberry preserving—for Mary Sloane could not be trusted with that—and I was a little tired, and thought it was hardly worth while to change my dress, especially since there was nobody to see or care, since Hester was gone. Mary Sloane did not count.
Just as the sun was setting that evening, I went upstairs and put on my muslin dress. I had been busy all day making strawberry preserves—because Mary Sloane couldn't be trusted with that—and I was a bit tired. I thought it wasn't really worth the effort to change my outfit, especially since there was no one to see or care, now that Hester was gone. Mary Sloane didn’t count.
But I did it because Hester would have cared if she had been here. She always liked to see me neat and dainty. So, although I was tired and sick at heart, I put on my pale blue muslin and dressed my hair.
But I did it because Hester would have cared if she had been here. She always liked to see me looking tidy and graceful. So, even though I was exhausted and felt heavy-hearted, I put on my pale blue muslin and styled my hair.
At first I did my hair up in a way I had always liked; but had seldom worn, because Hester had disapproved of it. It became me; but I suddenly felt as if it were disloyal to her, so I took the puffs down again and arranged my hair in the plain, old-fashioned way she had liked. My hair, though it had a good many gray threads in it, was thick and long and brown still; but that did not matter—nothing mattered since Hester was dead and I had sent Hugh Blair away for the second time.
At first, I styled my hair in a way I had always loved but rarely wore because Hester didn't approve of it. It suited me well, but then I felt like it was a betrayal to her, so I took the curls down and styled my hair in the simple, old-fashioned way she preferred. Even though my hair had quite a few gray strands, it was still thick, long, and brown; but that didn't matter—nothing mattered since Hester was gone and I had sent Hugh Blair away for the second time.
The Newbridge people all wondered why I had not put on mourning for Hester. I did not tell them it was because Hester had asked me not to. Hester had never approved of mourning; she said that if the heart did not mourn crape would not mend matters; and if it did there was no need of the external trappings of woe. She told me calmly, the night before she died, to go on wearing my pretty dresses just as I had always worn them, and to make no difference in my outward life because of her going.
The people of Newbridge all wondered why I hadn’t worn black for Hester. I didn’t tell them it was because Hester had asked me not to. Hester never liked mourning; she said that if the heart didn’t grieve, wearing black wouldn’t change anything, and if it did grieve, there was no need for the external signs of sadness. She calmly told me the night before she died to keep wearing my pretty dresses just like I always had and to not change my outward life because of her passing.
"I know there will be a difference in your inward life," she said wistfully.
"I know your inner life will change," she said, wistfully.
And oh, there was! But sometimes I wondered uneasily, feeling almost conscience-stricken, whether it were wholly because Hester had left me—whether it were not partly because, for a second time, I had shut the door of my heart in the face of love at her bidding.
And oh, there was! But sometimes I felt uneasy, almost guilty, wondering if it was only because Hester had left me—if it wasn’t also partly because, for the second time, I had closed my heart to love at her request.
When I had dressed I went downstairs to the front door, and sat on the sandstone steps under the arch of the Virginia creeper. I was all alone, for Mary Sloane had gone to Avonlea.
When I got dressed, I went downstairs to the front door and sat on the sandstone steps under the arch of the Virginia creeper. I was all alone, since Mary Sloane had gone to Avonlea.
It was a beautiful night; the full moon was just rising over the wooded hills, and her light fell through the poplars into the garden before me. Through an open corner on the western side I saw the sky all silvery blue in the afterlight. The garden was very beautiful just then, for it was the time of the roses, and ours were all out—so many of them—great pink, and red, and white, and yellow roses.
It was a beautiful night; the full moon was just rising over the wooded hills, and its light shone through the poplars into the garden in front of me. Through an open corner on the western side, I saw the sky glowing a silvery blue in the afterlight. The garden looked stunning at that moment, as it was the season for roses, and ours were all in bloom—so many of them—big pink, red, white, and yellow roses.
Hester had loved roses and could never have enough of them. Her favorite bush was growing by the steps, all gloried over with blossoms—white, with pale pink hearts. I gathered a cluster and pinned it loosely on my breast. But my eyes filled as I did so—I felt so very, very desolate.
Hester loved roses and could never get enough of them. Her favorite bush was growing by the steps, covered in blossoms—white with soft pink centers. I picked a bunch and pinned it loosely to my chest. But my eyes filled with tears as I did this—I felt so completely, utterly alone.
I was all alone, and it was bitter. The roses, much as I loved them, could not give me sufficient companionship. I wanted the clasp of a human hand, and the love-light in human eyes. And then I fell to thinking of Hugh, though I tried not to.
I was completely alone, and it felt awful. The roses, as much as I loved them, couldn’t provide me with enough companionship. I longed for the warmth of a human hand and the spark of love in someone’s eyes. And then I couldn’t help but think about Hugh, even though I tried not to.
I had always lived alone with Hester. I did not remember our parents, who had died in my babyhood. Hester was fifteen years older than I, and she had always seemed more like a mother than a sister. She had been very good to me and had never denied me anything I wanted, save the one thing that mattered.
I had always lived alone with Hester. I didn’t remember our parents, who had passed away when I was just a baby. Hester was fifteen years older than me, and she had always felt more like a mother than a sister. She had been very good to me and had never denied me anything I wanted, except for the one thing that really mattered.
I was twenty-five before I ever had a lover. This was not, I think, because I was more unattractive than other women. The Merediths had always been the "big" family of Newbridge. The rest of the people looked up to us, because we were the granddaughters of old Squire Meredith. The Newbridge young men would have thought it no use to try to woo a Meredith.
I was twenty-five when I finally had a lover. I don't think it was because I was less attractive than other women. The Merediths had always been the prominent family of Newbridge. Everyone else admired us because we were the granddaughters of old Squire Meredith. The young men of Newbridge believed it was pointless to try to win over a Meredith.
I had not a great deal of family pride, as perhaps I should be ashamed to confess. I found our exalted position very lonely, and cared more for the simple joys of friendship and companionship which other girls had. But Hester possessed it in a double measure; she never allowed me to associate on a level of equality with the young people of Newbridge. We must be very nice and kind and affable to them—noblesse oblige, as it were—but we must never forget that we were Merediths.
I didn't have much family pride, and I guess I should be embarrassed to admit it. I found our high status very lonely, and I valued the simple joys of friendship and companionship that other girls experienced more. But Hester embodied it in spades; she never let me interact with the young people of Newbridge as equals. We had to be very nice, kind, and friendly to them—noblesse oblige, so to speak—but we could never forget that we were Merediths.
When I was twenty-five, Hugh Blair came to Newbridge, having bought a farm near the village. He was a stranger, from Lower Carmody, and so was not imbued with any preconceptions of Meredith superiority. In his eyes I was just a girl like others—a girl to be wooed and won by any man of clean life and honest heart. I met him at a little Sunday-School picnic over at Avonlea, which I attended because of my class. I thought him very handsome and manly. He talked to me a great deal, and at last he drove me home. The next Sunday evening he walked up from church with me.
When I was twenty-five, Hugh Blair came to Newbridge after buying a farm near the village. He was a newcomer from Lower Carmody and didn’t have any preconceived notions about Meredith superiority. To him, I was just another girl—a girl to be courted and won by any decent man with a good heart. I first met him at a Sunday School picnic in Avonlea, which I attended for my class. I thought he was very handsome and manly. He talked to me a lot, and eventually, he drove me home. The following Sunday evening, he walked home with me after church.
Hester was away, or, of course, this would never have happened. She had gone for a month's visit to distant friends.
Hester was away, or else this would never have happened. She had gone to visit friends far away for a month.
In that month I lived a lifetime. Hugh Blair courted me as the other girls in Newbridge were courted. He took me out driving and came to see me in the evenings, which we spent for the most part in the garden. I did not like the stately gloom and formality of our old Meredith parlor, and Hugh never seemed to feel at ease there. His broad shoulders and hearty laughter were oddly out of place among our faded, old-maidish furnishings.
In that month, I experienced a lifetime. Hugh Blair dated me like the other girls in Newbridge. He took me out driving and visited me in the evenings, which we mostly spent in the garden. I didn't like the formal gloom of our old Meredith parlor, and Hugh never seemed comfortable there. His broad shoulders and cheerful laughter felt strangely out of place among our worn, old-fashioned furniture.
Mary Sloane was very much pleased at Hugh's visit. She had always resented the fact that I had never had a "beau," seeming to think it reflected some slight or disparagement upon me. She did all she could to encourage him.
Mary Sloane was really happy about Hugh's visit. She had always been annoyed by the fact that I had never had a "boyfriend," as if it showed some kind of flaw or disrespect towards me. She did everything she could to encourage him.
But when Hester returned and found out about Hugh she was very angry—and grieved, which hurt me far more. She told me that I had forgotten myself and that Hugh's visits must cease.
But when Hester came back and learned about Hugh, she was really angry—and heartbroken, which affected me even more. She told me that I had lost my way and that Hugh's visits had to stop.
I had never been afraid of Hester before, but I was afraid of her then. I yielded. Perhaps it was very weak of me, but then I was always weak. I think that was why Hugh's strength had appealed so to me. I needed love and protection. Hester, strong and self-sufficient, had never felt such a need. She could not understand. Oh, how contemptuous she was.
I had never been afraid of Hester before, but I was scared of her then. I gave in. Maybe it was pretty weak of me, but I had always been weak. I think that's why Hugh's strength had attracted me so much. I needed love and protection. Hester, strong and independent, had never felt that way. She couldn’t understand. Oh, how she looked down on me.
I told Hugh timidly that Hester did not approve of our friendship and that it must end. He took it quietly enough, and went away. I thought he did not care much, and the thought selfishly made my own heartache worse. I was very unhappy for a long time, but I tried not to let Hester see it, and I don't think she did. She was not very discerning in some things.
I told Hugh nervously that Hester wasn't okay with our friendship and that it had to end. He accepted it calmly and left. I figured he didn't care much, and that thought made my own pain feel even worse. I was really unhappy for a long time, but I tried not to let Hester notice, and I don't think she did. She wasn't very perceptive about certain things.
After a time I got over it; that is, the heartache ceased to ache all the time. But things were never quite the same again. Life always seemed rather dreary and empty, in spite of Hester and my roses and my Sunday-School.
After a while, I moved on; that is, the heartache stopped hurting all the time. But things were never really the same again. Life always felt pretty dull and empty, despite Hester, my roses, and my Sunday School.
I supposed that Hugh Blair would find him a wife elsewhere, but he did not. The years went by and we never met, although I saw him often at church. At such times Hester always watched me very closely, but there was no need of her to do so. Hugh made no attempt to meet me, or speak with me, and I would not have permitted it if he had. But my heart always yearned after him. I was selfishly glad he had not married, because if he had I could not have thought and dreamed of him—it would have been wrong. Perhaps, as it was, it was foolish; but it seemed to me that I must have something, if only foolish dreams, to fill my life.
I thought Hugh Blair would find a wife somewhere else, but he didn't. Years passed and we never crossed paths, even though I often saw him at church. During those times, Hester always kept a close eye on me, but there was no need for her to do that. Hugh made no effort to approach me or talk to me, and I wouldn’t have allowed it even if he had. Yet my heart always longed for him. I selfishly felt relieved he hadn’t married, because if he had, I couldn’t have thought and dreamed about him—it would have felt wrong. Maybe, as it was, it was foolish; but it seemed to me that I needed something, even if it was just silly dreams, to fill my life.
At first there was only pain in the thought of him, but afterwards a faint, misty little pleasure crept in, like a mirage from a land of lost delight.
At first, there was just pain in thinking about him, but later, a faint, hazy little pleasure started to sneak in, like a mirage from a place of lost joy.
Ten years slipped away thus. And then Hester died. Her illness was sudden and short; but, before she died, she asked me to promise that I would never marry Hugh Blair.
Ten years went by like that. Then Hester passed away. Her illness came on quickly and ended just as fast; but before she died, she asked me to promise that I would never marry Hugh Blair.
She had not mentioned his name for years. I thought she had forgotten all about him.
She hadn't said his name in years. I thought she had completely forgotten about him.
"Oh, dear sister, is there any need of such a promise?" I asked, weeping. "Hugh Blair does not want to marry me now. He never will again."
"Oh, dear sister, is there really a need for such a promise?" I asked, crying. "Hugh Blair doesn’t want to marry me now. He never will again."
"He has never married—he has not forgotten you," she said fiercely. "I could not rest in my grave if I thought you would disgrace your family by marrying beneath you. Promise me, Margaret."
"He has never married—he hasn't forgotten you," she said fiercely. "I couldn't rest in my grave if I thought you would shame your family by marrying someone below your status. Promise me, Margaret."
I promised. I would have promised anything in my power to make her dying pillow easier. Besides, what did it matter? I was sure that Hugh would never think of me again.
I promised. I would have promised anything I could to make her dying moments more comfortable. Besides, what did it matter? I was certain that Hugh would never think of me again.
She smiled when she heard me, and pressed my hand.
She smiled when she heard me and squeezed my hand.
"Good little sister—that is right. You were always a good girl, Margaret—good and obedient, though a little sentimental and foolish in some ways. You are like our mother—she was always weak and loving. I took after the Merediths."
"Good little sister—that's right. You were always a good girl, Margaret—good and obedient, though a bit sentimental and foolish in some ways. You're like our mom—she was always gentle and loving. I took after the Merediths."
She did, indeed. Even in her coffin her dark, handsome features preserved their expression of pride and determination. Somehow, that last look of her dead face remained in my memory, blotting out the real affection and gentleness which her living face had almost always shown me. This distressed me, but I could not help it. I wished to think of her as kind and loving, but I could remember only the pride and coldness with which she had crushed out my new-born happiness. Yet I felt no anger or resentment towards her for what she had done. I knew she had meant it for the best—my best. It was only that she was mistaken.
She really did. Even in her coffin, her dark, handsome features kept their look of pride and determination. Somehow, that final image of her dead face stayed in my mind, overshadowing the real warmth and kindness her living face had almost always shown me. This bothered me, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to remember her as kind and loving, but all I could think of was the pride and coldness with which she had crushed my newfound happiness. Still, I felt no anger or resentment toward her for what she had done. I knew she meant well—truly, it was for my sake. It was just that she was mistaken.
And then, a month after she had died, Hugh Blair came to me and asked me to be his wife. He said he had always loved me, and could never love any other woman.
And then, a month after she died, Hugh Blair came to me and asked me to marry him. He said he had always loved me and could never love another woman.
All my old love for him reawakened. I wanted to say yes—to feel his strong arms about me, and the warmth of his love enfolding and guarding me. In my weakness I yearned for his strength.
All my old feelings for him came rushing back. I wanted to say yes—to feel his strong arms around me and the warmth of his love wrapping around and protecting me. In my weakness, I longed for his strength.
But there was my promise to Hester—that promise give by her deathbed. I could not break it, and I told him so. It was the hardest thing I had ever done.
But there was my promise to Hester—that promise made at her deathbed. I couldn’t break it, and I told him so. It was the hardest thing I had ever done.
He did not go away quietly this time. He pleaded and reasoned and reproached. Every word of his hurt me like a knife-thrust. But I could not break my promise to the dead. If Hester had been living I would have braved her wrath and her estrangement and gone to him. But she was dead and I could not do it.
He didn't leave quietly this time. He begged, argued, and accused me. Every word felt like a stab in my heart. But I couldn't go back on my promise to the dead. If Hester were alive, I would have faced her anger and distance and gone to him. But she was gone, and I just couldn't do it.
Finally he went away in grief and anger. That was three weeks ago—and now I sat alone in the moonlit rose-garden and wept for him. But after a time my tears dried and a very strange feeling came over me. I felt calm and happy, as if some wonderful love and tenderness were very near me.
Finally, he left in sadness and anger. That was three weeks ago—and now I sat alone in the moonlit rose garden and cried for him. But after a while, my tears dried, and a very strange feeling washed over me. I felt calm and happy, as if some amazing love and tenderness were really close to me.
And now comes the strange part of my story—the part which will not, I suppose, be believed. If it were not for one thing I think I should hardly believe it myself. I should feel tempted to think I had dreamed it. But because of that one thing I know it was real. The night was very calm and still. Not a breath of wind stirred. The moonshine was the brightest I had ever seen. In the middle of the garden, where the shadow of the poplars did not fall, it was almost as bright as day. One could have read fine print. There was still a little rose glow in the west, and over the airy boughs of the tall poplars one or two large, bright stars were shining. The air was sweet with a hush of dreams, and the world was so lovely that I held my breath over its beauty.
And now comes the strange part of my story—the part that probably won’t be believed. If it weren’t for one thing, I don’t think I would believe it myself. I’d be tempted to think I had just dreamed it. But because of that one thing, I know it was real. The night was very calm and still. Not a breath of wind was stirring. The moonlight was the brightest I had ever seen. In the middle of the garden, where the shadows of the poplars didn’t fall, it was almost as bright as day. You could have read fine print. There was still a hint of rosy glow in the west, and over the airy branches of the tall poplars, one or two large, bright stars were shining. The air was sweet with a hush of dreams, and the world was so beautiful that I held my breath in awe.
Then, all at once, down at the far end of the garden, I saw a woman walking. I thought at first that it must be Mary Sloane; but, as she crossed a moonlit path, I saw it was not our old servant's stout, homely figure. This woman was tall and erect.
Then, all of a sudden, at the far end of the garden, I saw a woman walking. At first, I thought it might be Mary Sloane; but, as she crossed a moonlit path, I realized it wasn't our old servant's sturdy, familiar figure. This woman was tall and upright.
Although no suspicion of the truth came to me, something about her reminded me of Hester. Even so had Hester liked to wander about the garden in the twilight. I had seen her thus a thousand times.
Although I had no doubts about the truth, something about her reminded me of Hester. Just like Hester used to enjoy wandering around the garden at twilight. I had seen her do that a thousand times.
I wondered who the woman could be. Some neighbor, of course. But what a strange way for her to come! She walked up the garden slowly in the poplar shade. Now and then she stooped, as if to caress a flower, but she plucked none. Half way up she out in to the moonlight and walked across the plot of grass in the center of the garden. My heart gave a great throb and I stood up. She was quite near to me now—and I saw that it was Hester.
I wondered who the woman could be. Probably just a neighbor. But what a strange way for her to arrive! She walked up the garden slowly in the shade of the poplars. Every now and then, she bent down as if to touch a flower, but she didn’t pick any. Halfway up, she stepped into the moonlight and walked across the patch of grass in the center of the garden. My heart raced, and I stood up. She was very close to me now—and I saw that it was Hester.
I can hardly say just what my feelings were at this moment. I know that I was not surprised. I was frightened and yet I was not frightened. Something in me shrank back in a sickening terror; but I, the real I, was not frightened. I knew that this was my sister, and that there could be no reason why I should be frightened of her, because she loved me still, as she had always done. Further than this I was not conscious of any coherent thought, either of wonder or attempt at reasoning.
I can barely describe what I felt in that moment. I know I wasn’t surprised. I was scared yet not scared at all. Part of me recoiled with a sickening fear; but I, the real me, wasn’t scared. I understood that this was my sister, and there was no reason for me to be afraid of her, because she still loved me, just like she always had. Beyond that, I didn’t have any clear thoughts, whether of amazement or trying to make sense of things.
Hester paused when she came to within a few steps of me. In the moonlight I saw her face quite plainly. It wore an expression I had never before seen on it—a humble, wistful, tender look. Often in life Hester had looked lovingly, even tenderly, upon me; but always, as it were, through a mask of pride and sternness. This was gone now, and I felt nearer to her than ever before. I knew suddenly that she understood me. And then the half-conscious awe and terror some part of me had felt vanished, and I only realized that Hester was here, and that there was no terrible gulf of change between us.
Hester stopped when she was just a few steps away from me. In the moonlight, I clearly saw her face. It had an expression I had never seen before—a humble, longing, tender look. Throughout her life, Hester often looked at me with love, even tenderness, but it was always behind a mask of pride and seriousness. That mask was gone now, and I felt closer to her than ever. I suddenly knew that she understood me. Then the half-conscious awe and fear that I had felt melted away, and I realized that Hester was here, and there was no huge gap of change between us.
Hester beckoned to me and said,
Hester motioned for me to come over and said,
"Come."
"Come here."
I stood up and followed her out of the garden. We walked side by side down our lane, under the willows and out to the road, which lay long and still in that bright, calm moonshine. I felt as if I were in a dream, moving at the bidding of a will not my own, which I could not have disputed even if I had wished to do so. But I did not wish it; I had only the feeling of a strange, boundless content.
I stood up and followed her out of the garden. We walked side by side down our lane, under the willows and out to the road, which stretched long and quiet in the bright, peaceful moonlight. I felt like I was in a dream, moving at the command of a force that wasn’t my own, which I couldn’t have questioned even if I wanted to. But I didn’t want to; I only felt a strange, limitless happiness.
We went down the road between the growths of young fir that bordered it. I smelled their balsam as we passed, and noticed how clearly and darkly their pointed tops came out against the sky. I heard the tread of my own feet on little twigs and plants in our way, and the trail of my dress over the grass; but Hester moved noiselessly.
We walked down the path lined with young fir trees. I could smell their balsam as we went by and saw how clearly and darkly their pointed tops stood out against the sky. I heard the sound of my own feet on the twigs and plants in our way, and the fabric of my dress rustling in the grass; but Hester moved silently.
Then we went through the Avenue—that stretch of road under the apple trees that Anne Shirley, over at Avonlea, calls "The White Way of Delight." It was almost dark here; and yet I could see Hester's face just as plainly as if the moon were shining on it; and whenever I looked at her she was always looking at me with that strangely gentle smile on her lips.
Then we walked through the Avenue—that stretch of road under the apple trees that Anne Shirley, over in Avonlea, calls "The White Way of Delight." It was almost dark here; yet I could see Hester's face as clearly as if the moon were shining on it; and every time I looked at her, she was always looking at me with that oddly gentle smile on her lips.
Just as we passed out of the Avenue, James Trent overtook us, driving. It seems to me that our feelings at a given moment are seldom what we would expect them to be. I simply felt annoyed that James Trent, the most notorious gossip in Newbridge, should have seen me walking with Hester. In a flash I anticipated all the annoyance of it; he would talk of the matter far and wide.
Just as we were leaving the Avenue, James Trent caught up with us in his car. It seems to me that our feelings in a moment are rarely what we expect. I just felt irritated that James Trent, the biggest gossip in Newbridge, had seen me walking with Hester. In an instant, I envisioned all the trouble it would cause; he would spread the news everywhere.
But James Trent merely nodded and called out,
But James Trent just nodded and shouted,
"Howdy, Miss Margaret. Taking a moonlight stroll by yourself? Lovely night, ain't it?"
"Hey, Miss Margaret. Out for a moonlit walk all alone? Beautiful night, isn't it?"
Just then his horse suddenly swerved, as if startled, and broke into a gallop. They whirled around the curve of the road in an instant. I felt relieved, but puzzled. JAMES TRENT HAD NOT SEEN HESTER.
Just then, his horse suddenly veered, as if scared, and took off running. They rushed around the bend in the road in no time. I felt a mix of relief and confusion. JAMES TRENT HAD NOT SEEN HESTER.
Down over the hill was Hugh Blair's place. When we came to it, Hester turned in at the gate. Then, for the first time, I understood why she had come back, and a blinding flash of joy broke over my soul. I stopped and looked at her. Her deep eyes gazed into mine, but she did not speak.
Down over the hill was Hugh Blair's place. When we got there, Hester turned in at the gate. In that moment, I finally understood why she had returned, and a wave of joy flooded over me. I paused and looked at her. Her deep eyes met mine, but she didn’t say a word.
We went on. Hugh's house lay before us in the moonlight, grown over by a tangle of vines. His garden was on our right, a quaint spot, full of old-fashioned flowers growing in a sort of disorderly sweetness. I trod on a bed of mint, and the spice of it floated up to me like the incense of some strange, sacred, solemn ceremonial. I felt unspeakably happy and blessed.
We continued on. Hugh's house was in front of us, illuminated by the moonlight and covered in a tangle of vines. To our right was his garden, a charming place filled with old-fashioned flowers growing in a slightly messy but sweet way. I stepped on a patch of mint, and the scent wafted up to me like the incense from some unusual, sacred ceremony. I felt incredibly happy and grateful.
When we came to the door Hester said,
When we reached the door, Hester said,
"Knock, Margaret."
"Knock, Margaret."
I rapped gently. In a moment, Hugh opened it. Then that happened by which, in after days, I was to know that this strange thing was no dream or fancy of mine. Hugh looked not at me, but past me.
I knocked lightly. In a moment, Hugh opened the door. Then the thing happened that, later on, would make me realize that this strange occurrence was not just a dream or my imagination. Hugh didn’t look at me; he looked right past me.
"Hester!" he exclaimed, with human fear and horror in his voice.
"Hester!" he shouted, fear and horror in his voice.
He leaned against the door-post, the big, strong fellow, trembling from head to foot.
He leaned against the doorframe, the big, strong guy, shaking all over.
"I have learned," said Hester, "that nothing matters in all God's universe, except love. There is no pride where I have been, and no false ideals."
"I've learned," Hester said, "that nothing matters in all of God's universe except love. There's no pride where I've been, and no false ideals."
Hugh and I looked into each other's eyes, wondering, and then we knew that we were alone.
Hugh and I looked into each other's eyes, wondering, and then we realized that we were alone.
VIII. THE LITTLE BROWN BOOK OF MISS EMILY
The first summer Mr. Irving and Miss Lavendar—Diana and I could never call her anything else, even after she was married—were at Echo Lodge after their marriage, both Diana and I spent a great deal of time with them. We became acquainted with many of the Grafton people whom we had not known before, and among others, the family of Mr. Mack Leith. We often went up to the Leiths in the evening to play croquet. Millie and Margaret Leith were very nice girls, and the boys were nice, too. Indeed, we liked every one in the family, except poor old Miss Emily Leith. We tried hard enough to like her, because she seemed to like Diana and me very much, and always wanted to sit with us and talk to us, when we would much rather have been somewhere else. We often felt a good deal of impatience at these times, but I am very glad to think now that we never showed it.
The first summer Mr. Irving and Miss Lavendar—Diana and I could never call her anything else, even after she got married—were at Echo Lodge after their wedding, both Diana and I spent a lot of time with them. We got to know many of the Grafton people we hadn't met before, including the family of Mr. Mack Leith. We often visited the Leiths in the evenings to play croquet. Millie and Margaret Leith were really nice girls, and the boys were great, too. In fact, we liked everyone in the family, except for poor old Miss Emily Leith. We tried hard to like her because she seemed to really like Diana and me, always wanting to sit with us and talk when we would have preferred to be somewhere else. We often felt quite impatient during those times, but I’m really glad we never showed it.
In a way, we felt sorry for Miss Emily. She was Mr. Leith's old-maid sister and she was not of much importance in the household. But, though we felt sorry for her, we couldn't like her. She really was fussy and meddlesome; she liked to poke a finger into every one's pie, and she was not at all tactful. Then, too, she had a sarcastic tongue, and seemed to feel bitter towards all the young folks and their love affairs. Diana and I thought this was because she had never had a lover of her own.
In a way, we felt bad for Miss Emily. She was Mr. Leith's old-maid sister and didn't really have a significant role in the household. But even though we felt sympathy for her, we couldn’t bring ourselves to like her. She was quite fussy and intrusive; she loved to stick her nose into everyone’s business, and she definitely lacked tact. Plus, she had a sarcastic attitude and seemed to resent all the young people and their romantic relationships. Diana and I thought this was probably because she had never had a partner of her own.
Somehow, it seemed impossible to think of lovers in connection with Miss Emily. She was short and stout and pudgy, with a face so round and fat and red that it seemed quite featureless; and her hair was scanty and gray. She walked with a waddle, just like Mrs. Rachel Lynde, and she was always rather short of breath. It was hard to believe Miss Emily had ever been young; yet old Mr. Murray, who lived next door to the Leiths, not only expected us to believe it, but assured us that she had been very pretty.
Somehow, it felt impossible to picture Miss Emily with lovers. She was short, plump, and chubby, with a face so round, fat, and red that it looked almost featureless; her hair was thin and gray. She walked with a waddle, just like Mrs. Rachel Lynde, and always seemed a bit out of breath. It was hard to imagine that Miss Emily had ever been young; yet old Mr. Murray, who lived next door to the Leiths, not only expected us to accept it but also claimed that she had been very pretty.
"THAT, at least, is impossible," said Diana to me.
"That, at least, is impossible," Diana said to me.
And then, one day, Miss Emily died. I'm afraid no one was very sorry. It seems to me a most dreadful thing to go out of the world and leave not one person behind to be sorry because you have gone. Miss Emily was dead and buried before Diana and I heard of it at all. The first I knew of it was when I came home from Orchard Slope one day and found a queer, shabby little black horsehair trunk, all studded with brass nails, on the floor of my room at Green Gables. Marilla told me that Jack Leith had brought it over, and said that it had belonged to Miss Emily and that, when she was dying, she asked them to send it to me.
And then, one day, Miss Emily passed away. Honestly, I don't think anyone was really upset about it. It strikes me as a terrible thing to leave this world and not have a single person feel sad that you're gone. Miss Emily was dead and buried before Diana and I even found out. The first I learned about it was when I came back from Orchard Slope one day and saw a strange, shabby little black horsehair trunk, covered in brass studs, on the floor of my room at Green Gables. Marilla told me that Jack Leith had dropped it off and that it belonged to Miss Emily. She had asked them to send it to me before she died.
"But what is in it? And what am I to do with it?" I asked in bewilderment.
"But what’s in it? And what am I supposed to do with it?" I asked, confused.
"There was nothing said about what you were to do with it. Jack said they didn't know what was in it, and hadn't looked into it, seeing that it was your property. It seems a rather queer proceeding—but you're always getting mixed up in queer proceedings, Anne. As for what is in it, the easiest way to find out, I reckon, is to open it and see. The key is tied to it. Jack said Miss Emily said she wanted you to have it because she loved you and saw her lost youth in you. I guess she was a bit delirious at the last and wandered a good deal. She said she wanted you 'to understand her.'"
"There was nothing mentioned about what to do with it. Jack said they didn't know what was inside and hadn’t checked, since it was your property. It seems like a strange thing to do—but you always get caught up in unusual situations, Anne. As for what’s inside, the easiest way to find out is to just open it and see. The key is tied to it. Jack said Miss Emily wanted you to have it because she loved you and saw her lost youth in you. I think she was a bit out of it towards the end and got pretty confused. She said she wanted you 'to understand her.'"
I ran over to Orchard Slope and asked Diana to come over and examine the trunk with me. I hadn't received any instructions about keeping its contents secret and I knew Miss Emily wouldn't mind Diana knowing about them, whatever they were.
I rushed over to Orchard Slope and asked Diana to come check out the trunk with me. I hadn't been told to keep its contents a secret, and I knew Miss Emily wouldn't care if Diana found out about them, whatever they were.
It was a cool, gray afternoon and we got back to Green Gables just as the rain was beginning to fall. When we went up to my room the wind was rising and whistling through the boughs of the big old Snow Queen outside of my window. Diana was excited, and, I really believe, a little bit frightened.
It was a cool, gray afternoon when we returned to Green Gables just as the rain started to fall. As we walked up to my room, the wind picked up and was whistling through the branches of the big old Snow Queen tree outside my window. Diana was excited, and I honestly believe she was a little scared too.
We opened the old trunk. It was very small, and there was nothing in it but a big cardboard box. The box was tied up and the knots sealed with wax. We lifted it out and untied it. I touched Diana's fingers as we did it, and both of us exclaimed at once, "How cold your hand is!"
We opened the old trunk. It was really small, and there was nothing inside but a big cardboard box. The box was tied up, and the knots were sealed with wax. We lifted it out and untied it. I brushed against Diana's fingers as we did this, and we both exclaimed at the same time, "Your hand is so cold!"
In the box was a quaint, pretty, old-fashioned gown, not at all faded, made of blue muslin, with a little darker blue flower in it. Under it we found a sash, a yellowed feather fan, and an envelope full of withered flowers. At the bottom of the box was a little brown book.
In the box was a charming, beautiful, vintage gown, still vibrant, made of blue muslin with a slightly darker blue flower pattern on it. Beneath it, we discovered a sash, an aged feather fan, and an envelope filled with dried flowers. At the bottom of the box was a small brown book.
It was small and thin, like a girl's exercise book, with leaves that had once been blue and pink, but were now quite faded, and stained in places. On the fly leaf was written, in a very delicate hand, "Emily Margaret Leith," and the same writing covered the first few pages of the book. The rest were not written on at all. We sat there on the floor, Diana and I, and read the little book together, while the rain thudded against the window panes.
It was small and thin, like a girl's notebook, with pages that had once been blue and pink, but were now pretty faded and stained in places. On the flyleaf was written, in a very delicate hand, "Emily Margaret Leith," and the same handwriting filled the first few pages of the book. The rest were completely blank. We sat there on the floor, Diana and I, and read the little book together while the rain pounded against the window panes.
June 19, 18— I came to-day to spend a while with Aunt Margaret in Charlottetown. It is so pretty here, where she lives—and ever so much nicer than on the farm at home. I have no cows to milk here or pigs to feed. Aunt Margaret has given me such a lovely blue muslin dress, and I am to have it made to wear at a garden party out at Brighton next week. I never had a muslin dress before—nothing but ugly prints and dark woolens. I wish we were rich, like Aunt Margaret. Aunt Margaret laughed when I said this, and declared she would give all her wealth for my youth and beauty and light-heartedness. I am only eighteen and I know I am very merry but I wonder if I am really pretty. It seems to me that I am when I look in Aunt Margaret's beautiful mirrors. They make me look very different from the old cracked one in my room at home which always twisted my face and turned me green. But Aunt Margaret spoiled her compliment by telling me I look exactly as she did at my age. If I thought I'd ever look as Aunt Margaret does now, I don't know what I'd do. She is so fat and red. June 29. Last week I went to the garden party and I met a young man called Paul Osborne. He is a young artist from Montreal who is boarding over at Heppoch. He is the handsomest man I have ever seen—very tall and slender, with dreamy, dark eyes and a pale, clever face. I have not been able to keep from thinking about him ever since, and to-day he came over here and asked if he could paint me. I felt very much flattered and so pleased when Aunt Margaret gave him permission. He says he wants to paint me as "Spring," standing under the poplars where a fine rain of sunshine falls through. I am to wear my blue muslin gown and a wreath of flowers on my hair. He says I have such beautiful hair. He has never seen any of such a real pale gold. Somehow it seems even prettier than ever to me since he praised it. I had a letter from home to-day. Ma says the blue hen stole her nest and came off with fourteen chickens, and that pa has sold the little spotted calf. Somehow those things don't interest me like they once did. July 9. The picture is coming on very well, Mr. Osborne says. I know he is making me look far too pretty in it, although he persists in saying he can't do me justice. He is going to send it to some great exhibition when finished, but he says he will make a little water-color copy for me. He comes every day to paint and we talk a great deal and he reads me lovely things out of his books. I don't understand them all, but I try to, and he explains them so nicely and is so patient with my stupidity. And he says any one with my eyes and hair and coloring does not need to be clever. He says I have the sweetest, merriest laugh in the world. But I will not write down all the compliments he has paid me. I dare say he does not mean them at all. In the evening we stroll among the spruces or sit on the bench under the acacia tree. Sometimes we don't talk at all, but I never find the time long. Indeed, the minutes just seem to fly—and then the moon will come up, round and red, over the harbor and Mr. Osborne will sigh and say he supposes it is time for him to go. July 24. I am so happy. I am frightened at my happiness. Oh, I didn't think life could ever be so beautiful for me as it is! Paul loves me! He told me so to-night as we walked by the harbor and watched the sunset, and he asked me to be his wife. I have cared for him ever since I met him, but I am afraid I am not clever and well-educated enough for a wife for Paul. Because, of course, I'm only an ignorant little country girl and have lived all my life on a farm. Why, my hands are quite rough yet from the work I've done. But Paul just laughed when I said so, and took my hands and kissed them. Then he looked into my eyes and laughed again, because I couldn't hide from him how much I loved him. We are to be married next spring and Paul says he will take me to Europe. That will be very nice, but nothing matters so long as I am with him. Paul's people are very wealthy and his mother and sisters are very fashionable. I am frightened of them, but I did not tell Paul so because I think it would hurt him and oh, I wouldn't do that for the world. There is nothing I wouldn't suffer if it would do him any good. I never thought any one could feel so. I used to think if I loved anybody I would want him to do everything for me and wait on me as if I were a princess. But that is not the way at all. Love makes you very humble and you want to do everything yourself for the one you love. August 10. Paul went home to-day. Oh, it is so terrible! I don't know how I can bear to live even for a little while without him. But this is silly of me, because I know he has to go and he will write often and come to me often. But, still, it is so lonesome. I didn't cry when he left me because I wanted him to remember me smiling in the way he liked best, but I have been crying ever since and I can't stop, no matter how hard I try. We have had such a beautiful fortnight. Every day seemed dearer and happier than the last, and now it is ended and I feel as if it could never be the same again. Oh, I am very foolish—but I love him so dearly and if I were to lose his love I know I would die. August 17. I think my heart is dead. But no, it can't be, for it aches too much. Paul's mother came here to see me to-day. She was not angry or disagreeable. I wouldn't have been so frightened of her if she had been. As it was, I felt that I couldn't say a word. She is very beautiful and stately and wonderful, with a low, cold voice and proud, dark eyes. Her face is like Paul's but without the loveableness of his. She talked to me for a long time and she said terrible things—terrible, because I knew they were all true. I seemed to see everything through her eyes. She said that Paul was infatuated with my youth and beauty but that it would not last and what else had I to give him? She said Paul must marry a woman of his own class, who could do honor to his fame and position. She said that he was very talented and had a great career before him, but that if he married me it would ruin his life. I saw it all, just as she explained it out, and I told her at last that I would not marry Paul, and she might tell him so. But she smiled and said I must tell him myself, because he would not believe any one else. I could have begged her to spare me that, but I knew it would be of no use. I do not think she has any pity or mercy for any one. Besides, what she said was quite true. When she thanked me for being so REASONABLE I told her I was not doing it to please her, but for Paul's sake, because I would not spoil his life, and that I would always hate her. She smiled again and went away. Oh, how can I bear it? I did not know any one could suffer like this! August 18. I have done it. I wrote to Paul to-day. I knew I must tell him by letter, because I could never make him believe it face to face. I was afraid I could not even do it by letter. I suppose a clever woman easily could, but I am so stupid. I wrote a great many letters and tore them up, because I felt sure they wouldn't convince Paul. At last I got one that I thought would do. I knew I must make it seem as if I were very frivolous and heartless, or he would never believe. I spelled some words wrong and put in some mistakes of grammar on purpose. I told him I had just been flirting with him, and that I had another fellow at home I liked better. I said FELLOW because I knew it would disgust him. I said that it was only because he was rich that I was tempted to marry him. I thought my heart would break while I was writing those dreadful falsehoods. But it was for his sake, because I must not spoil his life. His mother told me I would be a millstone around his neck. I love Paul so much that I would do anything rather than be that. It would be easy to die for him, but I don't see how I can go on living. I think my letter will convince Paul.
June 19, 18— I came today to spend some time with Aunt Margaret in Charlottetown. It’s so beautiful here, where she lives—much nicer than the farm at home. I don’t have any cows to milk or pigs to feed. Aunt Margaret gave me a lovely blue muslin dress, and I'm going to wear it to a garden party in Brighton next week. I've never had a muslin dress before—only ugly prints and dark woolens. I wish we were rich like Aunt Margaret. She laughed when I said this and said she would trade all her wealth for my youth, beauty, and light-heartedness. I'm only eighteen and I know I'm very cheerful, but I wonder if I'm really pretty. I feel like I am when I look in Aunt Margaret's beautiful mirrors. They make me look so different from the old, cracked one in my room at home that always distorted my face and made me look green. But Aunt Margaret spoiled her compliment by saying I look just like she did at my age. If I thought I’d ever look like Aunt Margaret does now, I wouldn’t know what to do. She is so heavy and red. June 29. Last week I went to the garden party and met a young man named Paul Osborne. He’s a young artist from Montreal who's boarding over at Heppoch. He’s the most handsome man I’ve ever seen—very tall and slender, with dreamy dark eyes and a pale, clever face. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him ever since, and today he came over here and asked if he could paint me. I felt very flattered and so happy when Aunt Margaret gave him permission. He wants to paint me as "Spring," standing under the poplars where a beautiful rain of sunshine falls. I’ll wear my blue muslin gown and a wreath of flowers in my hair. He says I have such beautiful hair. He's never seen hair that’s such a real pale gold. Somehow it seems even prettier to me since he praised it. I got a letter from home today. Mom says the blue hen stole her nest and came off with fourteen chicks and that Dad sold the little spotted calf. Somehow those things don’t interest me like they used to. July 9. Mr. Osborne says the painting is coming along very well. I know he’s making me look way too pretty in it, even though he keeps saying he can’t do me justice. He plans to send it to a big exhibition when it's finished, but he says he’ll make a little watercolor copy for me. He comes every day to paint, and we talk a lot, and he reads beautiful things from his books to me. I don’t understand everything, but I try to, and he explains them so nicely and is so patient with my confusion. He says anyone with my eyes, hair, and coloring doesn't need to be clever. He says I have the sweetest, merriest laugh in the world. But I won’t write down all the compliments he’s given me. I dare say he doesn’t mean them all. In the evenings, we stroll among the spruces or sit on the bench under the acacia tree. Sometimes we don’t talk at all, but I never find the time long. The minutes just seem to fly—and then the moon rises, round and red, over the harbor, and Mr. Osborne sighs and says he supposes it’s time for him to go. July 24. I’m so happy. I’m scared of my happiness. Oh, I never thought life could be so beautiful for me as it is! Paul loves me! He told me so tonight as we walked by the harbor and watched the sunset, and he asked me to be his wife. I’ve cared for him ever since I met him, but I’m afraid I’m not clever or educated enough to be a wife for Paul. Because, of course, I’m just an ignorant little country girl who’s lived all my life on a farm. My hands are still quite rough from the work I’ve done. But Paul just laughed when I said that and took my hands and kissed them. Then he looked into my eyes and laughed again, because I couldn’t hide how much I loved him. We’re going to get married next spring, and Paul says he’ll take me to Europe. That will be nice, but nothing matters as long as I’m with him. Paul’s family is very wealthy, and his mother and sisters are very fashionable. I’m scared of them, but I didn’t tell Paul that because I think it would hurt him and oh, I wouldn’t do that for the world. There’s nothing I wouldn’t suffer if it would help him. I never thought anyone could feel this way. I used to think if I loved someone, I would want him to do everything for me and wait on me like I was a princess. But it’s not like that at all. Love makes you very humble, and you want to do everything yourself for the one you love. August 10. Paul went home today. Oh, it’s so awful! I don’t know how I can bear to live even for a little while without him. But I know it’s silly because I know he has to go, and he’ll write often and come to see me often. But still, it’s so lonely. I didn’t cry when he left me because I wanted him to remember me smiling in the way he liked best, but I’ve been crying ever since and I can’t stop, no matter how hard I try. We’ve had such a wonderful two weeks. Every day seemed dearer and happier than the last, and now it’s ended, and I feel like it could never be the same again. Oh, I’m very foolish—but I love him so much, and if I were to lose his love, I know I would die. August 17. I think my heart is dead. But no, it can’t be, because it hurts too much. Paul’s mother came here to see me today. She wasn't angry or unpleasant. I wouldn’t have been so scared of her if she had been. As it was, I felt like I couldn’t say a word. She’s very beautiful, stately, and wonderful, with a low, cold voice and proud, dark eyes. Her face is like Paul’s but without his charm. She talked to me for a long time and said terrible things—terrible because I knew they were all true. I seemed to see everything through her eyes. She said Paul was infatuated with my youth and beauty but that it wouldn’t last, and what else had I to offer him? She said Paul must marry a woman of his own class, who could honor his fame and position. She said he was very talented and had a great career ahead of him, but if he married me, it would ruin his life. I saw everything just as she explained it, and in the end, I told her that I wouldn't marry Paul and she could tell him so. But she smiled and said I must tell him myself because he wouldn’t believe anyone else. I could have begged her to spare me that, but I knew it would be no use. I don’t think she has any pity or mercy for anyone. Besides, what she said was completely true. When she thanked me for being so REASONABLE, I told her I wasn’t doing it to please her, but for Paul’s sake because I wouldn’t spoil his life, and that I would always hate her. She smiled again and left. Oh, how can I bear it? I didn’t know anyone could suffer like this! August 18. I’ve done it. I wrote to Paul today. I knew I had to tell him by letter because I could never convince him face to face. I was scared I couldn’t even do it by letter. I suppose a clever woman could easily do it, but I’m so simple. I wrote several letters and tore them up because I felt sure they wouldn’t convince Paul. At last I got one that I thought would work. I knew I had to make it seem like I was very frivolous and heartless, or he would never believe me. I misspelled some words and made some grammatical mistakes on purpose. I told him I had just been flirting with him and that I liked another guy at home better. I said "guy" because I knew it would disgust him. I said I was only tempted to marry him because he was rich. I thought my heart would break while I was writing those horrible lies. But it was for his sake, because I must not spoil his life. His mother told me I would be a millstone around his neck. I love Paul so much that I would do anything rather than be that. It would be easy to die for him, but I don’t see how I can keep on living. I think my letter will convince Paul.
I suppose it convinced Paul, because there was no further entry in the little brown book. When we had finished it the tears were running down both our faces.
I guess it convinced Paul, because there were no more entries in the little brown book. By the time we finished it, tears were streaming down both our faces.
"Oh, poor, dear Miss Emily," sobbed Diana. "I'm so sorry I ever thought her funny and meddlesome."
"Oh, poor, sweet Miss Emily," cried Diana. "I’m really sorry I ever thought she was funny and annoying."
"She was good and strong and brave," I said. "I could never have been as unselfish as she was."
"She was kind, strong, and brave," I said. "I could never have been as selfless as she was."
I thought of Whittier's lines,
I remembered Whittier's lines,
"The outward, wayward life we see The hidden springs we may not know."
"The external, unpredictable life we observe The unseen forces we may not understand."
At the back of the little brown book we found a faded water-color sketch of a young girl—such a slim, pretty little thing, with big blue eyes and lovely, long, rippling golden hair. Paul Osborne's name was written in faded ink across the corner.
At the back of the little brown book, we found a worn watercolor sketch of a young girl—such a slim, pretty little thing, with big blue eyes and beautiful, long, flowing golden hair. Paul Osborne's name was written in faded ink in the corner.
We put everything back in the box. Then we sat for a long time by my window in silence and thought of many things, until the rainy twilight came down and blotted out the world.
We repacked everything into the box. Then we sat in silence by my window for a long time, thinking about a lot of things, until the rainy twilight descended and erased the world.
IX. SARA'S WAY
The warm June sunshine was coming down through the trees, white with the virginal bloom of apple-blossoms, and through the shining panes, making a tremulous mosaic upon Mrs. Eben Andrews' spotless kitchen floor. Through the open door, a wind, fragrant from long wanderings over orchards and clover meadows, drifted in, and, from the window, Mrs. Eben and her guest could look down over a long, misty valley sloping to a sparkling sea.
The warm June sun filtered through the trees, brightened by the pure white apple blossoms, casting a shimmering pattern on Mrs. Eben Andrews' immaculate kitchen floor. A gentle breeze, carrying the sweet scents of orchards and clover fields, floated in through the open door, while Mrs. Eben and her guest looked out the window at a long, hazy valley that sloped down to a glistening sea.
Mrs. Jonas Andrews was spending the afternoon with her sister-in-law. She was a big, sonsy woman, with full-blown peony cheeks and large, dreamy, brown eyes. When she had been a slim, pink-and-white girl those eyes had been very romantic. Now they were so out of keeping with the rest of her appearance as to be ludicrous.
Mrs. Jonas Andrews was spending the afternoon with her sister-in-law. She was a hefty, cheerful woman, with round, rosy cheeks and large, dreamy brown eyes. When she had been a slender, fair-skinned girl, those eyes had looked very romantic. Now they were so mismatched with the rest of her appearance that they seemed ridiculous.
Mrs. Eben, sitting at the other end of the small tea-table that was drawn up against the window, was a thin little woman, with a very sharp nose and light, faded blue eyes. She looked like a woman whose opinions were always very decided and warranted to wear.
Mrs. Eben, sitting at the other end of the small tea table that was pushed up against the window, was a slender woman with a very pointed nose and light, faded blue eyes. She seemed like someone whose opinions were always strong and confidently held.
"How does Sara like teaching at Newbridge?" asked Mrs. Jonas, helping herself a second time to Mrs. Eben's matchless black fruit cake, and thereby bestowing a subtle compliment which Mrs. Eben did not fail to appreciate.
"How does Sara like teaching at Newbridge?" asked Mrs. Jonas, serving herself a second helping of Mrs. Eben's amazing black fruit cake, subtly complimenting her in a way that Mrs. Eben certainly noticed.
"Well, I guess she likes it pretty well—better than down at White Sands, anyway," answered Mrs. Eben. "Yes, I may say it suits her. Of course it's a long walk there and back. I think it would have been wiser for her to keep on boarding at Morrison's, as she did all winter, but Sara is bound to be home all she can. And I must say the walk seems to agree with her."
"Well, I think she likes it quite a bit—better than at White Sands, at least," replied Mrs. Eben. "Yeah, I can say it works for her. Of course, it's a long walk there and back. I believe it would have been smarter for her to keep staying at Morrison's like she did all winter, but Sara is determined to be home as much as she can. And I have to say the walk seems to be good for her."
"I was down to see Jonas' aunt at Newbridge last night," said Mrs. Jonas, "and she said she'd heard that Sara had made up her mind to take Lige Baxter at last, and that they were to be married in the fall. She asked me if it was true. I said I didn't know, but I hoped to mercy it was. Now, is it, Louisa?"
"I visited Jonas' aunt in Newbridge last night," Mrs. Jonas said, "and she told me she heard that Sara had finally decided to marry Lige Baxter, and that they were getting married in the fall. She asked me if it was true. I said I wasn't sure, but I really hoped it was. So, is it, Louisa?"
"Not a word of it," said Mrs. Eben sorrowfully. "Sara hasn't any more notion of taking Lige than ever she had. I'm sure it's not MY fault. I've talked and argued till I'm tired. I declare to you, Amelia, I am terribly disappointed. I'd set my heart on Sara's marrying Lige—and now to think she won't!"
"Not a word of it," Mrs. Eben said sadly. "Sara has no intention of taking Lige any more than she ever did. I'm sure it's not MY fault. I've talked and argued until I'm worn out. I swear, Amelia, I am so disappointed. I had my heart set on Sara marrying Lige—and now to think she won't!"
"She is a very foolish girl," said Mrs. Jonas, judicially. "If Lige Baxter isn't good enough for her, who is?"
"She's a really foolish girl," Mrs. Jonas said authoritatively. "If Lige Baxter isn't good enough for her, then who is?"
"And he's so well off," said Mrs. Eben, "and does such a good business, and is well spoken of by every one. And that lovely new house of his at Newbridge, with bay windows and hardwood floors! I've dreamed and dreamed of seeing Sara there as mistress."
"And he's so wealthy," said Mrs. Eben, "and runs a successful business, and everyone speaks highly of him. And that beautiful new house of his in Newbridge, with bay windows and hardwood floors! I've fantasized for ages about seeing Sara there as the lady of the house."
"Maybe you'll see her there yet," said Mrs. Jonas, who always took a hopeful view of everything, even of Sara's contrariness. But she felt discouraged, too. Well, she had done her best.
"Maybe you’ll see her there after all," said Mrs. Jonas, who always had a positive outlook on everything, even Sara's stubbornness. But she felt discouraged, too. Well, she had done her best.
If Lige Baxter's broth was spoiled it was not for lack of cooks. Every Andrews in Avonlea had been trying for two years to bring about a match between him and Sara, and Mrs. Jonas had borne her part valiantly.
If Lige Baxter's broth was bad, it wasn't because there weren’t enough cooks. Every Andrews in Avonlea had been trying for two years to set him up with Sara, and Mrs. Jonas had done her part bravely.
Mrs. Eben's despondent reply was cut short by the appearance of Sara herself. The girl stood for a moment in the doorway and looked with a faintly amused air at her aunts. She knew quite well that they had been discussing her, for Mrs. Jonas, who carried her conscience in her face, looked guilty, and Mrs. Eben had not been able wholly to banish her aggrieved expression.
Mrs. Eben's gloomy response was interrupted by the arrival of Sara herself. The girl paused for a moment in the doorway and regarded her aunts with a slightly amused expression. She clearly knew they had been talking about her, as Mrs. Jonas, who wore her guilt on her face, looked shamefaced, and Mrs. Eben couldn't completely hide her offended look.
Sara put away her books, kissed Mrs. Jonas' rosy cheek, and sat down at the table. Mrs. Eben brought her some fresh tea, some hot rolls, and a little jelly-pot of the apricot preserves Sara liked, and she cut some more fruit cake for her in moist plummy slices. She might be out of patience with Sara's "contrariness," but she spoiled and petted her for all that, for the girl was the very core of her childless heart.
Sara put away her books, kissed Mrs. Jonas' rosy cheek, and sat down at the table. Mrs. Eben brought her some fresh tea, hot rolls, and a little jelly pot of the apricot preserves Sara loved, and she cut more fruit cake for her in moist, plummy slices. She might be fed up with Sara's "contrariness," but she still spoiled and doted on her because the girl was the very center of her childless heart.
Sara Andrews was not, strictly speaking, pretty; but there was that about her which made people look at her twice. She was very dark, with a rich, dusky sort of darkness, her deep eyes were velvety brown, and her lips and cheeks were crimson.
Sara Andrews wasn’t exactly pretty, but there was something about her that made people glance back. She had very dark skin, with a rich, dusky tone; her deep eyes were a velvety brown, and her lips and cheeks were a striking crimson.
She ate her rolls and preserves with a healthy appetite, sharpened by her long walk from Newbridge, and told amusing little stories of her day's work that made the two older women shake with laughter, and exchange shy glances of pride over her cleverness.
She devoured her rolls and jam with a hearty appetite, fueled by her long walk from Newbridge, and shared funny little stories about her day’s work that made the two older women burst into laughter and exchange shy looks of pride over her wit.
When tea was over she poured the remaining contents of the cream jug into a saucer.
When tea was done, she poured the rest of the cream from the jug into a saucer.
"I must feed my pussy," she said as she left the room.
"I need to feed my cat," she said as she left the room.
"That girl beats me," said Mrs. Eben with a sigh of perplexity. "You know that black cat we've had for two years? Eben and I have always made a lot of him, but Sara seemed to have a dislike to him. Never a peaceful nap under the stove could he have when Sara was home—out he must go. Well, a little spell ago he got his leg broke accidentally and we thought he'd have to be killed. But Sara wouldn't hear of it. She got splints and set his leg just as knacky, and bandaged it up, and she has tended him like a sick baby ever since. He's just about well now, and he lives in clover, that cat does. It's just her way. There's them sick chickens she's been doctoring for a week, giving them pills and things!
"That girl just astounds me," Mrs. Eben said with a confused sigh. "You know that black cat we’ve had for two years? Eben and I have always doted on him, but Sara never seemed to like him. He couldn’t get a peaceful nap under the stove whenever Sara was home—he had to be kicked out. Well, not long ago, he accidentally broke his leg, and we thought we’d have to put him down. But Sara wouldn’t allow it. She got splints and set his leg perfectly, bandaged it up, and has been taking care of him like a sick baby ever since. He’s almost completely healed now, and that cat is living the good life. It’s just how she is. And then there are those sick chickens she’s been treating for a week, giving them pills and all sorts of things!"
"And she thinks more of that wretched-looking calf that got poisoned with paris green than of all the other stock on the place."
"And she cares more about that miserable-looking calf that got poisoned with Paris green than all the other animals on the farm."
As the summer wore away, Mrs. Eben tried to reconcile herself to the destruction of her air castles. But she scolded Sara considerably.
As summer came to an end, Mrs. Eben tried to come to terms with the shattering of her dreams. But she scolded Sara a lot.
"Sara, why don't you like Lige? I'm sure he is a model young man."
"Sara, why don't you like Lige? I'm sure he's a great young guy."
"I don't like model young men," answered Sara impatiently. "And I really think I hate Lige Baxter. He has always been held up to me as such a paragon. I'm tired of hearing about all his perfections. I know them all off by heart. He doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't steal, he doesn't tell fibs, he never loses his temper, he doesn't swear, and he goes to church regularly. Such a faultless creature as that would certainly get on my nerves. No, no, you'll have to pick out another mistress for your new house at the Bridge, Aunt Louisa."
"I don't like perfect young men," Sara replied impatiently. "And honestly, I think I really hate Lige Baxter. Everyone always talks about him like he's some kind of saint. I'm so tired of hearing about all his so-called perfections. I know them all by heart. He doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't steal, he doesn't lie, he never loses his temper, he doesn't swear, and he goes to church every Sunday. A flawless person like that would definitely get on my nerves. No, no, you'll have to find another mistress for your new house at the Bridge, Aunt Louisa."
When the apple trees, that had been pink and white in June, were russet and bronze in October, Mrs. Eben had a quilting. The quilt was of the "Rising Star" pattern, which was considered in Avonlea to be very handsome. Mrs. Eben had intended it for part of Sara's "setting out," and, while she sewed the red-and-white diamonds together, she had regaled her fancy by imagining she saw it spread out on the spare-room bed of the house at Newbridge, with herself laying her bonnet and shawl on it when she went to see Sara. Those bright visions had faded with the apple blossoms, and Mrs. Eben hardly had the heart to finish the quilt at all.
When the apple trees, which had been pink and white in June, turned russet and bronze in October, Mrs. Eben held a quilting event. The quilt was of the "Rising Star" pattern, which was considered very beautiful in Avonlea. Mrs. Eben had planned it as part of Sara's "setting out," and while sewing the red-and-white diamonds together, she had entertained herself with the thought of seeing it spread out on the spare-room bed at the house in Newbridge, imagining herself placing her bonnet and shawl on it when she went to visit Sara. Those bright visions had faded with the apple blossoms, and Mrs. Eben barely had the motivation to finish the quilt at all.
The quilting came off on Saturday afternoon, when Sara could be home from school. All Mrs. Eben's particular friends were ranged around the quilt, and tongues and fingers flew. Sara flitted about, helping her aunt with the supper preparations. She was in the room, getting the custard dishes out of the cupboard, when Mrs. George Pye arrived.
The quilting took place on Saturday afternoon, when Sara could be home from school. All of Mrs. Eben's close friends were gathered around the quilt, chatting and stitching. Sara moved around, helping her aunt with the dinner preparations. She was in the room, taking the custard dishes out of the cupboard, when Mrs. George Pye showed up.
Mrs. George had a genius for being late. She was later than usual to-day, and she looked excited. Every woman around the "Rising Star" felt that Mrs. George had some news worth listening to, and there was an expectant silence while she pulled out her chair and settled herself at the quilt.
Mrs. George had a knack for being late. She was later than usual today, and she looked excited. Every woman around the "Rising Star" sensed that Mrs. George had some news worth hearing, and there was an eager silence as she pulled out her chair and got comfortable at the quilt.
She was a tall, thin woman with a long pale face and liquid green eyes. As she looked around the circle she had the air of a cat daintily licking its chops over some titbit.
She was a tall, slender woman with a long pale face and bright green eyes. As she scanned the circle, she had the demeanor of a cat delicately licking its lips over a tasty treat.
"I suppose," she said, "that you have heard the news?"
"I guess," she said, "that you’ve heard the news?"
She knew perfectly well that they had not. Every other woman at the frame stopped quilting. Mrs. Eben came to the door with a pan of puffy, smoking-hot soda biscuits in her hand. Sara stopped counting the custard dishes, and turned her ripely-colored face over her shoulder. Even the black cat, at her feet, ceased preening his fur. Mrs. George felt that the undivided attention of her audience was hers.
She knew very well that they hadn't. Every other woman at the frame stopped quilting. Mrs. Eben appeared at the door holding a pan of puffy, steaming soda biscuits. Sara stopped counting the custard dishes and turned her flushed face over her shoulder. Even the black cat at her feet stopped grooming himself. Mrs. George sensed that all eyes were on her.
"Baxter Brothers have failed," she said, her green eyes shooting out flashes of light. "Failed DISGRACEFULLY!"
"Baxter Brothers have failed," she said, her green eyes flashing with intensity. "Failed DISGRACEFULLY!"
She paused for a moment; but, since her hearers were as yet speechless from surprise, she went on.
She paused for a moment, but since her audience was still speechless with surprise, she continued.
"George came home from Newbridge, just before I left, with the news. You could have knocked me down with a feather. I should have thought that firm was as steady as the Rock of Gibraltar! But they're ruined—absolutely ruined. Louisa, dear, can you find me a good needle?"
"George came home from Newbridge, just before I left, with the news. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I would have thought that firm was as solid as the Rock of Gibraltar! But they're destroyed—totally destroyed. Louisa, dear, can you get me a good needle?"
"Louisa, dear," had set her biscuits down with a sharp thud, reckless of results. A sharp, metallic tinkle sounded at the closet where Sara had struck the edge of her tray against a shelf. The sound seemed to loosen the paralyzed tongues, and everybody began talking and exclaiming at once. Clear and shrill above the confusion rose Mrs. George Pye's voice.
"Louisa, dear," had set her biscuits down with a sharp thud, careless of the consequences. A sharp, metallic tinkle sounded from the closet where Sara had hit the edge of her tray against a shelf. The noise seemed to free everyone's voices, and everyone started talking and exclaiming at once. Clear and shrill above the chaos rose Mrs. George Pye's voice.
"Yes, indeed, you may well say so. It IS disgraceful. And to think how everybody trusted them! George will lose considerable by the crash, and so will a good many folks. Everything will have to go—Peter Baxter's farm and Lige's grand new house. Mrs. Peter won't carry her head so high after this, I'll be bound. George saw Lige at the Bridge, and he said he looked dreadful cut up and ashamed."
"Yes, you’re right about that. It’s really disgraceful. And to think how everyone trusted them! George is going to lose a lot with the collapse, and so will many others. Everything will have to be sold—Peter Baxter's farm and Lige's fancy new house. I bet Mrs. Peter won’t be so proud after this. George saw Lige at the Bridge, and he said Lige looked really upset and ashamed."
"Who, or what's to blame for the failure?" asked Mrs. Rachel Lynde sharply. She did not like Mrs. George Pye.
"Who, or what’s responsible for the failure?" Mrs. Rachel Lynde asked sharply. She wasn’t fond of Mrs. George Pye.
"There are a dozen different stories on the go," was the reply. "As far as George could make out, Peter Baxter has been speculating with other folks' money, and this is the result. Everybody always suspected that Peter was crooked; but you'd have thought that Lige would have kept him straight. HE had always such a reputation for saintliness."
"There are a dozen different stories going around," was the reply. "As far as George could tell, Peter Baxter has been playing around with other people's money, and this is the outcome. Everyone always suspected that Peter was shady; but you would have thought that Lige would have kept him in line. He always had such a reputation for being virtuous."
"I don't suppose Lige knew anything about it," said Mrs. Rachel indignantly.
"I don't think Lige knew anything about it," Mrs. Rachel said, indignantly.
"Well, he'd ought to, then. If he isn't a knave he's a fool," said Mrs. Harmon Andrews, who had formerly been among his warmest partisans. "He should have kept watch on Peter and found out how the business was being run. Well, Sara, you were the level-headest of us all—I'll admit that now. A nice mess it would be if you were married or engaged to Lige, and him left without a cent—even if he can clear his character!"
"Well, he should have, then. If he's not a jerk, he's an idiot," said Mrs. Harmon Andrews, who had previously been one of his biggest supporters. "He should have kept an eye on Peter and figured out how things were being managed. Well, Sara, you were the most level-headed of us all—I’ll admit that now. It would be a real disaster if you were married or engaged to Lige, and he was left with nothing—even if he can redeem his reputation!"
"There is a good deal of talk about Peter, and swindling, and a lawsuit," said Mrs. George Pye, quilting industriously. "Most of the Newbridge folks think it's all Peter's fault, and that Lige isn't to blame. But you can't tell. I dare say Lige is as deep in the mire as Peter. He was always a little too good to be wholesome, I thought."
"There’s a lot of gossip about Peter, some conning, and a lawsuit," said Mrs. George Pye, working on her quilting. "Most of the people in Newbridge believe it’s all Peter's fault and that Lige isn’t responsible. But you never really know. I suspect Lige is just as involved in the mess as Peter. He always seemed a bit too good to be true, I thought."
There was a clink of glass at the cupboard, as Sara set the tray down. She came forward and stood behind Mrs. Rachel Lynde's chair, resting her shapely hands on that lady's broad shoulders. Her face was very pale, but her flashing eyes sought and faced defiantly Mrs. George Pye's cat-like orbs. Her voice quivered with passion and contempt.
There was a clink of glass from the cupboard as Sara set the tray down. She stepped forward and stood behind Mrs. Rachel Lynde's chair, resting her graceful hands on the lady's broad shoulders. Her face was very pale, but her bright eyes locked onto Mrs. George Pye's cat-like gaze defiantly. Her voice trembled with passion and contempt.
"You'll all have a fling at Lige Baxter, now that he's down. You couldn't say enough in his praise, once. I'll not stand by and hear it hinted that Lige Baxter is a swindler. You all know perfectly well that Lige is as honest as the day, if he IS so unfortunate as to have an unprincipled brother. You, Mrs. Pye, know it better than any one, yet you come here and run him down the minute he's in trouble. If there's another word said here against Lige Baxter I'll leave the room and the house till you're gone, every one of you."
"You all want to criticize Lige Baxter now that he's down. You used to speak so highly of him. I won’t sit here and let anyone suggest that Lige is a fraud. You all know that Lige is as honest as they come, even if he has an unscrupulous brother. You, Mrs. Pye, know this better than anyone, yet you come here and tear him apart the moment he's in trouble. If anyone says another word against Lige Baxter, I’ll leave the room and the house until you’re all gone."
She flashed a glance around the quilt that cowed the gossips. Even Mrs. George Pye's eyes flickered and waned and quailed. Nothing more was said until Sara had picked up her glasses and marched from the room. Even then they dared not speak above a whisper. Mrs. Pye, alone, smarting from the snub, ventured to ejaculate, "Pity save us!" as Sara slammed the door.
She glanced around the quilt that intimidated the gossipers. Even Mrs. George Pye's eyes flickered, dimmed, and backed down. Nothing more was said until Sara picked up her glasses and strode out of the room. Even then, they didn't dare speak above a whisper. Mrs. Pye, feeling the sting of the snub, finally exclaimed, "Goodness gracious!" as Sara slammed the door.
For the next fortnight gossip and rumor held high carnival in Avonlea and Newbridge, and Mrs. Eben grew to dread the sight of a visitor.
For the next two weeks, gossip and rumors ran rampant in Avonlea and Newbridge, and Mrs. Eben started to dread seeing any visitors.
"They're bound to talk about the Baxter failure and criticize Lige," she deplored to Mrs. Jonas. "And it riles Sara up so terrible. She used to declare that she hated Lige, and now she won't listen to a word against him. Not that I say any, myself. I'm sorry for him, and I believe he's done his best. But I can't stop other people from talking."
"They're definitely going to talk about the Baxter failure and blame Lige," she lamented to Mrs. Jonas. "And it really gets Sara upset. She used to say she hated Lige, but now she won't hear a word against him. Not that I say anything bad, myself. I feel sorry for him, and I believe he's done his best. But I can't stop other people from talking."
One evening Harmon Andrews came in with a fresh budget of news.
One evening, Harmon Andrews walked in with a fresh batch of news.
"The Baxter business is pretty near wound up at last," he said, as he lighted his pipe. "Peter has got his lawsuits settled and has hushed up the talk about swindling, somehow. Trust him for slipping out of a scrape clean and clever. He don't seem to worry any, but Lige looks like a walking skeleton. Some folks pity him, but I say he should have kept the run of things better and not have trusted everything to Peter. I hear he's going out West in the Spring, to take up land in Alberta and try his hand at farming. Best thing he can do, I guess. Folks hereabouts have had enough of the Baxter breed. Newbridge will be well rid of them."
"The Baxter business is pretty much wrapped up at last," he said as he lit his pipe. "Peter has settled his lawsuits and somehow quieted the rumors about swindling. You can always count on him to get out of a tough spot clean and smart. He doesn’t seem to worry at all, but Lige looks like a walking skeleton. Some people feel sorry for him, but I think he should have managed things better and not put all his trust in Peter. I hear he’s planning to head out West in the spring to take up land in Alberta and try farming. That's probably the best move for him. People around here have had enough of the Baxter family. Newbridge will be better off without them."
Sara, who had been sitting in the dark corner by the stove, suddenly stood up, letting the black cat slip from her lap to the floor. Mrs. Eben glanced at her apprehensively, for she was afraid the girl was going to break out in a tirade against the complacent Harmon.
Sara, who had been sitting in the dark corner by the stove, suddenly got up, allowing the black cat to jump off her lap onto the floor. Mrs. Eben looked at her nervously, worried that the girl was about to lash out at the smug Harmon.
But Sara only walked fiercely out of the kitchen, with a sound as if she were struggling for breath. In the hall she snatched a scarf from the wall, flung open the front door, and rushed down the lane in the chill, pure air of the autumn twilight. Her heart was throbbing with the pity she always felt for bruised and baited creatures.
But Sara stormed out of the kitchen, breathing heavily. In the hall, she grabbed a scarf from the wall, swung open the front door, and hurried down the lane in the cold, crisp air of the autumn twilight. Her heart raced with the compassion she always felt for injured and mistreated beings.
On and on she went heedlessly, intent only on walking away her pain, over gray, brooding fields and winding slopes, and along the skirts of ruinous, dusky pine woods, curtained with fine spun purple gloom. Her dress brushed against the brittle grasses and sere ferns, and the moist night wind, loosed from wild places far away, blew her hair about her face.
She kept walking aimlessly, focused solely on escaping her pain, across dull, gloomy fields and winding hills, alongside the edges of dark, decaying pine woods shrouded in a fine layer of purple darkness. Her dress brushed against the dry grasses and withered ferns, while the damp night breeze, coming from far-off wild areas, tossed her hair around her face.
At last she came to a little rustic gate, leading into a shadowy wood-lane. The gate was bound with willow withes, and, as Sara fumbled vainly at them with her chilled hands, a man's firm step came up behind her, and Lige Baxter's hand closed over her's.
At last, she reached a small, rustic gate that led into a shady path through the woods. The gate was tied with willow branches, and as Sara struggled fruitlessly with them using her cold hands, a man approached her from behind, and Lige Baxter's hand enveloped hers.
"Oh, Lige!" she said, with something like a sob.
"Oh, Lige!" she said, with a sound that was almost like a sob.
He opened the gate and drew her through. She left her hand in his, as they walked through the lane where lissome boughs of young saplings flicked against their heads, and the air was wildly sweet with the woodsy odors.
He opened the gate and pulled her through. She kept her hand in his as they walked down the path, where flexible branches of young trees brushed against their heads, and the air was intensely sweet with the scents of the woods.
"It's a long while since I've seen you, Lige," Sara said at last.
"It's been a long time since I last saw you, Lige," Sara finally said.
Lige looked wistfully down at her through the gloom.
Lige gazed down at her with a sense of longing through the darkness.
"Yes, it seems very long to me, Sara. But I didn't think you'd care to see me, after what you said last spring. And you know things have been going against me. People have said hard things. I've been unfortunate, Sara, and may be too easy-going, but I've been honest. Don't believe folks if they tell you I wasn't."
"Yeah, it feels like forever to me, Sara. But I didn't think you'd want to see me after what you said last spring. And you know things haven't been going well for me. People have said some harsh things. I've had bad luck, Sara, and maybe I'm too laid-back, but I've been honest. Don't listen to anyone who tells you I wasn't."
"Indeed, I never did—not for a minute!" fired Sara.
"Honestly, I never did—not even for a second!" shot back Sara.
"I'm glad of that. I'm going away, later on. I felt bad enough when you refused to marry me, Sara; but it's well that you didn't. I'm man enough to be thankful my troubles don't fall on you."
"I’m glad to hear that. I’m leaving later. I felt pretty bad when you turned me down, Sara, but it’s probably for the best that you didn’t marry me. I’m mature enough to be grateful that my problems won’t affect you."
Sara stopped and turned to him. Beyond them the lane opened into a field and a clear lake of crocus sky cast a dim light into the shadow where they stood. Above it was a new moon, like a gleaming silver scimitar. Sara saw it was over her left shoulder, and she saw Lige's face above her, tender and troubled.
Sara paused and turned to him. In front of them, the path led into a field and a clear lake that reflected a sky of crocus color, casting a soft light into the shadow where they stood. Above them was a new moon, shining like a silver sword. Sara noticed it was over her left shoulder, and she saw Lige's face above her, gentle and worried.
"Lige," she said softly, "do you love me still?"
"Lige," she said gently, "do you still love me?"
"You know I do," said Lige sadly.
"You know I do," Lige said sadly.
That was all Sara wanted. With a quick movement she nestled into his arms, and laid her warm, tear-wet cheek against his cold one.
That was all Sara wanted. With a swift motion, she snuggled into his arms and pressed her warm, tear-streaked cheek against his cold one.
When the amazing rumor that Sara was going to marry Lige Baxter, and go out West with him, circulated through the Andrews clan, hands were lifted and heads were shaken. Mrs. Jonas puffed and panted up the hill to learn if it were true. She found Mrs. Eben stitching for dear life on an "Irish Chain" quilt, while Sara was sewing the diamonds on another "Rising Star" with a martyr-like expression on her face. Sara hated patchwork above everything else, but Mrs. Eben was mistress up to a certain point.
When the incredible rumor that Sara was going to marry Lige Baxter and move out West with him spread through the Andrews family, people raised their hands and shook their heads in disbelief. Mrs. Jonas huffed and puffed her way up the hill to find out if it was true. She found Mrs. Eben sewing furiously on an "Irish Chain" quilt, while Sara was sewing the diamonds onto another "Rising Star" quilt with a look of agony on her face. Sara hated patchwork more than anything, but Mrs. Eben had control up to a certain point.
"You'll have to make that quilt, Sara Andrews. If you're going to live out on those prairies, you'll need piles of quilts, and you shall have them if I sew my fingers to the bone. But you'll have to help make them."
"You'll have to make that quilt, Sara Andrews. If you're going to live out on those prairies, you'll need a lot of quilts, and you will have them if I sew my fingers to the bone. But you'll need to help make them."
And Sara had to.
And Sara had to.
When Mrs. Jonas came, Mrs. Eben sent Sara off to the post-office to get her out of the way.
When Mrs. Jonas arrived, Mrs. Eben sent Sara to the post office to get her out of the way.
"I suppose it's true, this time?" said Mrs. Jonas.
"I guess it's true this time?" Mrs. Jonas said.
"Yes, indeed," said Mrs. Eben briskly. "Sara is set on it. There is no use trying to move her—you know that—so I've just concluded to make the best of it. I'm no turn-coat. Lige Baxter is Lige Baxter still, neither more nor less. I've always said he's a fine young man, and I say so still. After all, he and Sara won't be any poorer than Eben and I were when we started out."
"Absolutely," Mrs. Eben said cheerfully. "Sara is determined. There's no point in trying to change her mind—you know that—so I've decided to just make the best of it. I'm not changing my stance. Lige Baxter is still Lige Baxter, no more, no less. I've always said he's a great young man, and I still believe that. In the end, he and Sara won't be any worse off than Eben and I were when we began."
Mrs. Jonas heaved a sigh of relief.
Mrs. Jonas let out a sigh of relief.
"I'm real glad you take that view of it, Louisa. I'm not displeased, either, although Mrs. Harmon would take my head off if she heard me say so. I always liked Lige. But I must say I'm amazed, too, after the way Sara used to rail at him."
"I'm really glad you see it that way, Louisa. I'm not upset about it either, even though Mrs. Harmon would be furious if she heard me say that. I've always liked Lige. But I have to admit, I'm surprised too, considering how Sara used to rant about him."
"Well, we might have expected it," said Mrs. Eben sagely. "It was always Sara's way. When any creature got sick or unfortunate she seemed to take it right into her heart. So you may say Lige Baxter's failure was a success after all."
"Well, we probably should have seen it coming," Mrs. Eben said wisely. "It was always Sara's nature. Whenever any creature got sick or faced tough times, she seemed to take it straight to her heart. So you could say Lige Baxter's failure turned out to be a success after all."
X. THE SON OF HIS MOTHER
Thyra Carewe was waiting for Chester to come home. She sat by the west window of the kitchen, looking out into the gathering of the shadows with the expectant immovability that characterized her. She never twitched or fidgeted. Into whatever she did she put the whole force of her nature. If it was sitting still, she sat still.
Thyra Carewe was waiting for Chester to come home. She sat by the west window of the kitchen, looking out into the growing shadows with the calmness that defined her. She never moved or fidgeted. Whatever she did, she poured all her energy into it. If it was sitting still, she sat still.
"A stone image would be twitchedly beside Thyra," said Mrs. Cynthia White, her neighbor across the lane. "It gets on my nerves, the way she sits at that window sometimes, with no more motion than a statue and her great eyes burning down the lane. When I read the commandment, 'Thou shalt have no other gods before me,' I declare I always think of Thyra. She worships that son of hers far ahead of her Creator. She'll be punished for it yet."
"A stone image would be twitchy beside Thyra," said Mrs. Cynthia White, her neighbor across the lane. "It gets on my nerves, the way she sits at that window sometimes, as still as a statue with her big eyes staring down the lane. When I read the commandment, 'You shall have no other gods before me,' I always think of Thyra. She worships that son of hers way more than her Creator. She'll pay for it eventually."
Mrs. White was watching Thyra now, knitting furiously, as she watched, in order to lose no time. Thyra's hands were folded idly in her lap. She had not moved a muscle since she sat down. Mrs. White complained it gave her the weeps.
Mrs. White was now watching Thyra, knitting rapidly to make the most of her time. Thyra's hands lay idly in her lap. She hadn't moved a muscle since she sat down. Mrs. White said it made her feel sad.
"It doesn't seem natural to see a woman sit so still," she said. "Sometimes the thought comes to me, 'what if she's had a stroke, like her old Uncle Horatio, and is sitting there stone dead!'"
"It doesn't feel natural to see a woman sitting so still," she said. "Sometimes I wonder, 'what if she's had a stroke, like her old Uncle Horatio, and is just sitting there completely lifeless!'"
The evening was cold and autumnal. There was a fiery red spot out at sea, where the sun had set, and, above it, over a chill, clear, saffron sky, were reefs of purple-black clouds. The river, below the Carewe homestead, was livid. Beyond it, the sea was dark and brooding. It was an evening to make most people shiver and forebode an early winter; but Thyra loved it, as she loved all stern, harshly beautiful things. She would not light a lamp because it would blot out the savage grandeur of sea and sky. It was better to wait in the darkness until Chester came home.
The evening was cold and autumn-like. There was a bright red spot out at sea where the sun had set, and above it, against a chilly, clear, yellowish sky, were layers of dark purple clouds. The river below the Carewe homestead looked pale. Beyond it, the sea was dark and gloomy. It was a night that would make most people shiver and feel the dread of an early winter; but Thyra loved it, just as she loved all things that were harshly beautiful. She wouldn’t light a lamp because it would ruin the wild beauty of the sea and sky. It was better to wait in the darkness until Chester came home.
He was late to-night. She thought he had been detained over-time at the harbor, but she was not anxious. He would come straight home to her as soon as his business was completed—of that she felt sure. Her thoughts went out along the bleak harbor road to meet him. She could see him plainly, coming with his free stride through the sandy hollows and over the windy hills, in the harsh, cold light of that forbidding sunset, strong and handsome in his comely youth, with her own deeply cleft chin and his father's dark gray, straightforward eyes. No other woman in Avonlea had a son like hers—her only one. In his brief absences she yearned after him with a maternal passion that had in it something of physical pain, so intense was it. She thought of Cynthia White, knitting across the road, with contemptuous pity. That woman had no son—nothing but pale-faced girls. Thyra had never wanted a daughter, but she pitied and despised all sonless women.
He was late tonight. She thought he must have been held up at the harbor, but she wasn't worried. She knew he'd come straight home to her as soon as he finished his work—she felt certain about that. Her thoughts traveled along the lonely harbor road to meet him. She could clearly picture him, walking confidently through the sandy dips and over the windy hills, in the harsh, cold light of that uninviting sunset, strong and good-looking in his youthful charm, with her own distinctively cleft chin and his father's straight, dark gray eyes. No other woman in Avonlea had a son like hers—her only child. During his short absences, she longed for him with a maternal intensity that felt almost like physical pain, it was so strong. She thought of Cynthia White, knitting across the road, with a mix of pity and disdain. That woman had no son—only pale-faced daughters. Thyra had never wanted a daughter, but she felt both pity and contempt for all the women without sons.
Chester's dog whined suddenly and piercingly on the doorstep outside. He was tired of the cold stone and wanted his warm corner behind the stove. Thyra smiled grimly when she heard him. She had no intention of letting him in. She said she had always disliked dogs, but the truth, although she would not glance at it, was that she hated the animal because Chester loved him. She could not share his love with even a dumb brute. She loved no living creature in the world but her son, and fiercely demanded a like concentrated affection from him. Hence it pleased her to hear his dog whine.
Chester's dog suddenly started whining loudly on the doorstep outside. He was tired of the cold stone and wanted his cozy spot behind the stove. Thyra smiled wryly when she heard him. She had no plans of letting him inside. She claimed that she had always disliked dogs, but the truth, which she refused to acknowledge, was that she hated the animal because Chester loved it. She couldn't share his love with even a mindless creature. The only being she loved in the world was her son, and she demanded the same intense affection from him in return. So, it gave her pleasure to hear his dog whine.
It was now quite dark; the stars had begun to shine out over the shorn harvest fields, and Chester had not come. Across the lane Cynthia White had pulled down her blind, in despair of out-watching Thyra, and had lighted a lamp. Lively shadows of little girl-shapes passed and repassed on the pale oblong of light. They made Thyra conscious of her exceeding loneliness. She had just decided that she would walk down the lane and wait for Chester on the bridge, when a thunderous knock came at the east kitchen door.
It was now quite dark; the stars had started to shine over the cut harvest fields, and Chester still hadn’t come. Across the lane, Cynthia White had pulled down her blind, giving up on out-waiting Thyra, and had turned on a lamp. Lively shadows of little girls flitted in and out of the pale rectangle of light. They made Thyra aware of her deep loneliness. She had just decided to walk down the lane and wait for Chester on the bridge when a loud knock came at the east kitchen door.
She recognized August Vorst's knock and lighted a lamp in no great haste, for she did not like him. He was a gossip and Thyra hated gossip, in man or woman. But August was privileged.
She recognized August Vorst's knock and lit a lamp without much hurry, because she didn't like him. He was a gossip, and Thyra hated gossip, whether it came from a man or a woman. But August had special status.
She carried the lamp in her hand, when she went to the door, and its upward-striking light gave her face a ghastly appearance. She did not mean to ask August in, but he pushed past her cheerfully, not waiting to be invited. He was a midget of a man, lame of foot and hunched of back, with a white, boyish face, despite his middle age and deep-set, malicious black eyes.
She held the lamp in her hand as she approached the door, and its upward light made her face look eerie. She didn't intend to invite August in, but he cheerfully pushed past her without waiting for an invitation. He was a small man, limping and hunched over, with a pale, boyish face despite being middle-aged, and his deep-set, malicious black eyes.
He pulled a crumpled newspaper from his pocket and handed it to Thyra. He was the unofficial mail-carrier of Avonlea. Most of the people gave him a trifle for bringing their letters and papers from the office. He earned small sums in various other ways, and so contrived to keep the life in his stunted body. There was always venom in August's gossip. It was said that he made more mischief in Avonlea in a day than was made otherwise in a year, but people tolerated him by reason of his infirmity. To be sure, it was the tolerance they gave to inferior creatures, and August felt this. Perhaps it accounted for a good deal of his malignity. He hated most those who were kindest to him, and, of these, Thyra Carewe above all. He hated Chester, too, as he hated strong, shapely creatures. His time had come at last to wound them both, and his exultation shone through his crooked body and pinched features like an illuminating lamp. Thyra perceived it and vaguely felt something antagonistic in it. She pointed to the rocking-chair, as she might have pointed out a mat to a dog.
He pulled a crumpled newspaper from his pocket and handed it to Thyra. He was the unofficial mail carrier of Avonlea. Most people gave him a small tip for bringing their letters and papers from the office. He earned a little money in various other ways, managing to keep himself going with his frail body. There was always malice in August's gossip. They said he caused more trouble in Avonlea in a day than anyone else could in a year, but people tolerated him because of his disability. Of course, it was the kind of tolerance they showed to those they deemed inferior, and August was aware of this. Maybe that explained a lot of his bitterness. He despised most those who were kindest to him, especially Thyra Carewe. He also loathed Chester, as he hated strong, well-built people. Finally, his moment had arrived to hurt them both, and his delight shone through his twisted body and pinched features like a bright lamp. Thyra noticed it and sensed something hostile about it. She pointed to the rocking chair, as if she were directing a dog to a mat.
August crawled into it and smiled. He was going to make her writhe presently, this woman who looked down upon him as some venomous creeping thing she disdained to crush with her foot.
August crawled into it and smiled. He was about to make her squirm, this woman who looked down on him like he was some disgusting insect she couldn’t be bothered to step on.
"Did you see anything of Chester on the road?" asked Thyra, giving August the very opening he desired. "He went to the harbor after tea to see Joe Raymond about the loan of his boat, but it's the time he should be back. I can't think what keeps the boy."
"Did you see Chester on the road?" Thyra asked, giving August the perfect opportunity he wanted. "He went to the harbor after tea to talk to Joe Raymond about borrowing his boat, but he should be back by now. I can't figure out what's taking him so long."
"Just what keeps most men—leaving out creatures like me—at some time or other in their lives. A girl—a pretty girl, Thyra. It pleases me to look at her. Even a hunchback can use his eyes, eh? Oh, she's a rare one!"
"Just what keeps most men—excluding creatures like me—at some point in their lives? A girl—a pretty girl, Thyra. I enjoy looking at her. Even a hunchback can use his eyes, right? Oh, she's one of a kind!"
"What is the man talking about?" said Thyra wonderingly.
"What is the guy talking about?" Thyra said, curious.
"Damaris Garland, to be sure. Chester's down at Tom Blair's now, talking to her—and looking more than his tongue says, too, of that you may be sure. Well, well, we were all young once, Thyra—all young once, even crooked little August Vorst. Eh, now?"
"Damaris Garland, for sure. Chester's over at Tom Blair's right now, talking to her—and he's showing more than what he's saying, that's for sure. Well, well, we were all young once, Thyra—all young once, even the awkward little August Vorst. Right?"
"What do you mean?" said Thyra.
"What do you mean?" Thyra asked.
She had sat down in a chair before him, with her hands folded in her lap. Her face, always pale, had not changed; but her lips were curiously white. August Vorst saw this and it pleased him. Also, her eyes were worth looking at, if you liked to hurt people—and that was the only pleasure August took in life. He would drink this delightful cup of revenge for her long years of disdainful kindness—ah, he would drink it slowly to prolong its sweetness. Sip by sip—he rubbed his long, thin, white hands together—sip by sip, tasting each mouthful.
She sat down in a chair in front of him, her hands folded in her lap. Her face, always pale, hadn't changed; but her lips were unusually white. August Vorst noticed this, and it gave him pleasure. Also, her eyes were captivating, if you enjoyed hurting people—and that was the only satisfaction August found in life. He would savor this delightful moment of revenge for her many years of scornful kindness—ah, he would take his time to enjoy its sweetness. Sip by sip—he rubbed his long, thin, white hands together—sip by sip, relishing each taste.
"Eh, now? You know well enough, Thyra."
"Hey, now? You know that well enough, Thyra."
"I know nothing of what you would be at, August Vorst. You speak of my son and Damaris—was that the name?—Damaris Garland as if they were something to each other. I ask you what you mean by it?"
"I have no idea what you’re getting at, August Vorst. You talk about my son and Damaris—was that the name?—Damaris Garland as if they mean something to each other. I’m asking you what you mean by that?"
"Tut, tut, Thyra, nothing very terrible. There's no need to look like that about it. Young men will be young men to the end of time, and there's no harm in Chester's liking to look at a lass, eh, now? Or in talking to her either? The little baggage, with the red lips of her! She and Chester will make a pretty pair. He's not so ill-looking for a man, Thyra."
"Tut, tut, Thyra, it's not a big deal. No need to look so upset about it. Young men will always be young men, and it’s not a problem that Chester likes to glance at a girl, right? Or that he talks to her? That little minx with her red lips! She and Chester will make a cute couple. He's not bad-looking for a guy, Thyra."
"I am not a very patient woman, August," said Thyra coldly. "I have asked you what you mean, and I want a straight answer. Is Chester down at Tom Blair's while I have been sitting here, alone, waiting for him?"
"I’m not a very patient woman, August," Thyra said coldly. "I’ve asked you what you mean, and I want a clear answer. Is Chester down at Tom Blair’s while I've been sitting here, alone, waiting for him?"
August nodded. He saw that it would not be wise to trifle longer with Thyra.
August nodded. He realized it wouldn’t be smart to keep messing around with Thyra.
"That he is. I was there before I came here. He and Damaris were sitting in a corner by themselves, and very well-satisfied they seemed to be with each other. Tut, tut, Thyra, don't take the news so. I thought you knew. It's no secret that Chester has been going after Damaris ever since she came here. But what then? You can't tie him to your apron strings forever, woman. He'll be finding a mate for himself, as he should. Seeing that he's straight and well-shaped, no doubt Damaris will look with favor on him. Old Martha Blair declares the girl loves him better than her eyes."
"That's true. I was there before I got here. He and Damaris were sitting together in a corner, and they seemed really happy with each other. Come on, Thyra, don’t react like that. I thought you knew. It’s no secret that Chester has been pursuing Damaris ever since she arrived. But so what? You can't keep him tied to you forever, woman. He’s going to find a partner for himself, and he should. Since he’s attractive and well-built, there’s no doubt Damaris will like him. Old Martha Blair says the girl loves him more than anything."
Thyra made a sound like a strangled moan in the middle of August's speech. She heard the rest of it immovably. When it came to an end she stood and looked down upon him in a way that silenced him.
Thyra made a sound like a strangled moan in the middle of August's speech. She heard the rest of it without moving. When he finished, she stood and looked down at him in a way that made him stop talking.
"You've told the news you came to tell, and gloated over it, and now get you gone," she said slowly.
"You've shared the news you came to share and reveled in it, so now just leave," she said slowly.
"Now, Thyra," he began, but she interrupted him threateningly.
"Now, Thyra," he started, but she cut him off with a threatening gesture.
"Get you gone, I say! And you need not bring my mail here any longer. I want no more of your misshapen body and lying tongue!"
"Get out of here, I say! And you don’t have to deliver my mail here anymore. I want nothing more to do with your deformed body and deceitful tongue!"
August went, but at the door he turned for a parting stab.
August left, but at the door he turned for one last dig.
"My tongue is not a lying one, Mrs. Carewe. I've told you the truth, as all Avonlea knows it. Chester is mad about Damaris Garland. It's no wonder I thought you knew what all the settlement can see. But you're such a jealous, odd body, I suppose the boy hid it from you for fear you'd go into a tantrum. As for me, I'll not forget that you've turned me from your door because I chanced to bring you news you'd no fancy for."
"My tongue isn’t lying, Mrs. Carewe. I’ve told you the truth, as everyone in Avonlea knows it. Chester is crazy about Damaris Garland. It’s no surprise I thought you knew what everyone in town can see. But you’re such a jealous, strange person that I guess the boy kept it from you because he was afraid you’d throw a fit. As for me, I won’t forget that you shut me out because I happened to bring you news you didn’t want to hear."
Thyra did not answer him. When the door closed behind him she locked it and blew out the light. Then she threw herself face downward on the sofa and burst into wild tears. Her very soul ached. She wept as tempestuously and unreasoningly as youth weeps, although she was not young. It seemed as if she was afraid to stop weeping lest she should go mad thinking. But, after a time, tears failed her, and she began bitterly to go over, word by word, what August Vorst had said.
Thyra didn’t respond to him. After he closed the door, she locked it and turned off the light. Then she threw herself face down on the sofa and started crying uncontrollably. Her heart felt heavy. She cried as intensely and irrationally as a young person would, even though she wasn’t young. It seemed like she was afraid to stop crying because then she might lose her mind thinking about it. But eventually, she ran out of tears and began to bitterly replay, word for word, what August Vorst had said.
That her son should ever cast eyes of love on any girl was something Thyra had never thought about. She would not believe it possible that he should love any one but herself, who loved him so much. And now the possibility invaded her mind as subtly and coldly and remorselessly as a sea-fog stealing landward.
That her son could ever have feelings for any girl was something Thyra had never considered. She found it hard to believe he could love anyone but her, the one who loved him so deeply. And now, the thought crept into her mind quietly, coldly, and without mercy, like a sea fog rolling in from the ocean.
Chester had been born to her at an age when most women are letting their children slip from them into the world, with some natural tears and heartaches, but content to let them go, after enjoying their sweetest years. Thyra's late-come motherhood was all the more intense and passionate because of its very lateness. She had been very ill when her son was born, and had lain helpless for long weeks, during which other women had tended her baby for her. She had never been able to forgive them for this.
Chester was born to her at a time when most women are watching their kids grow up and leave home, shedding a few natural tears and feeling some heartache, but ultimately at peace with letting them go after enjoying their happiest years. Thyra's late motherhood was even more intense and passionate because of how late it was. She had been very sick when her son was born and had been unable to care for him for weeks, during which other women looked after her baby for her. She had never been able to forgive them for that.
Her husband had died before Chester was a year old. She had laid their son in his dying arms and received him back again with a last benediction. To Thyra that moment had something of a sacrament in it. It was as if the child had been doubly given to her, with a right to him solely that nothing could take away or transcend.
Her husband had passed away before Chester turned one. She had placed their son in his dying arms and received him back with a final blessing. For Thyra, that moment felt almost sacred. It was as if the child had been given to her twice, with a unique bond to him that nothing could take away or surpass.
Marrying! She had never thought of it in connection with him. He did not come of a marrying race. His father had been sixty when he had married her, Thyra Lincoln, likewise well on in life. Few of the Lincolns or Carewes had married young, many not at all. And, to her, Chester was her baby still. He belonged solely to her.
Marrying! She had never considered it in relation to him. He didn't come from a family that married often. His father had been sixty when he married her, Thyra Lincoln, who was also older. Few of the Lincolns or Carewes had married young, and many hadn't married at all. To her, Chester was still her baby. He belonged only to her.
And now another woman had dared to look upon him with eyes of love. Damaris Garland! Thyra now remembered seeing her. She was a new-comer in Avonlea, having come to live with her uncle and aunt after the death of her mother. Thyra had met her on the bridge one day a month previously. Yes, a man might think she was pretty—a low-browed girl, with a wave of reddish-gold hair, and crimson lips blossoming out against the strange, milk-whiteness of her skin. Her eyes, too—Thyra recalled them—hazel in tint, deep, and laughter-brimmed.
And now another woman had dared to look at him with loving eyes. Damaris Garland! Thyra remembered seeing her. She was a newcomer in Avonlea, having moved in with her uncle and aunt after her mother passed away. Thyra had met her on the bridge one day a month ago. Yes, a man might find her pretty—a girl with a low forehead, a wave of reddish-gold hair, and bright red lips standing out against her unusually pale skin. Her eyes, too—Thyra remembered them—hazel, deep, and filled with laughter.
The girl had gone past her with a smile that brought out many dimples. There was a certain insolent quality in her beauty, as if it flaunted itself somewhat too defiantly in the beholder's eye. Thyra had turned and looked after the lithe, young creature, wondering who she might be.
The girl walked by her with a smile that showed off several dimples. There was a kind of boldness in her beauty, as if it was showing off a bit too much to the observer. Thyra turned and watched the slender, young girl, curious about who she was.
And to-night, while she, his mother, waited for him in darkness and loneliness, he was down at Blair's, talking to this girl! He loved her; and it was past doubt that she loved him. The thought was more bitter than death to Thyra. That she should dare! Her anger was all against the girl. She had laid a snare to get Chester and he, like a fool, was entangled in it, thinking, man-fashion, only of her great eyes and red lips. Thyra thought savagely of Damaris' beauty.
And tonight, while his mother waited for him in darkness and loneliness, he was at Blair's talking to this girl! He loved her, and there was no doubt that she loved him too. The thought was more painful than death for Thyra. How could she even dare! All her anger was directed at the girl. She had set a trap to catch Chester, and he, like a fool, was caught in it, only thinking, as men do, about her big eyes and red lips. Thyra angrily thought about Damaris' beauty.
"She shall not have him," she said, with slow emphasis. "I will never give him up to any other woman, and, least of all, to her. She would leave me no place in his heart at all—me, his mother, who almost died to give him life. He belongs to me! Let her look for the son of some other woman—some woman who has many sons. She shall not have my only one!"
"She won't get him," she said, emphasizing each word. "I will never give him up to any other woman, especially not to her. She wouldn't leave me any space in his heart—me, his mother, who nearly died to bring him into this world. He belongs to me! Let her find a son from another woman—any woman who has plenty of sons. She won't take my only one!"
She got up, wrapped a shawl about her head, and went out into the darkly golden evening. The clouds had cleared away, and the moon was shining. The air was chill, with a bell-like clearness. The alders by the river rustled eerily as she walked by them and out upon the bridge. Here she paced up and down, peering with troubled eyes along the road beyond, or leaning over the rail, looking at the sparkling silver ribbon of moonlight that garlanded the waters. Late travelers passed her, and wondered at her presence and mien. Carl White saw her, and told his wife about her when he got home.
She got up, wrapped a shawl around her head, and stepped out into the dark golden evening. The clouds had cleared, and the moon was shining. The air was chilly and crystal clear. The alders by the river rustled eerily as she walked past them and onto the bridge. Here, she walked back and forth, looking with worried eyes down the road ahead, or leaning over the railing, gazing at the sparkling silver ribbon of moonlight that decorated the water. Late travelers passed by her and wondered about her presence and demeanor. Carl White saw her and mentioned her to his wife when he got home.
"Striding to and fro over the bridge like mad! At first I thought it was old, crazy May Blair. What do you suppose she was doing down there at this hour of the night?"
"Walking back and forth over the bridge like a maniac! At first, I thought it was that old, crazy May Blair. What do you think she was doing down there at this hour of the night?"
"Watching for Ches, no doubt," said Cynthia. "He ain't home yet. Likely he's snug at Blairs'. I do wonder if Thyra suspicions that he goes after Damaris. I've never dared to hint it to her. She'd be as liable to fly at me, tooth and claw, as not."
"Probably waiting for Ches," Cynthia said. "He isn't home yet. He's probably cozy at Blairs'. I do wonder if Thyra suspects he's interested in Damaris. I've never had the courage to bring it up with her. She'd be just as likely to attack me, claws and all, as not."
"Well, she picks out a precious queer night for moon-gazing," said Carl, who was a jolly soul and took life as he found it. "It's bitter cold—there'll be a hard frost. It's a pity she can't get it grained into her that the boy is grown up and must have his fling like the other lads. She'll go out of her mind yet, like her old grandmother Lincoln, if she doesn't ease up. I've a notion to go down to the bridge and reason a bit with her."
"Well, she picked a beautiful night for moon-gazing," said Carl, who was a cheerful guy and accepted life as it came. "It's really cold—there's going to be a heavy frost. It’s a shame she can’t seem to understand that the boy is grown up and needs to have his fun like the other guys. She'll drive herself crazy like her old grandmother Lincoln if she doesn't lighten up. I’m thinking about heading down to the bridge and talking to her a bit."
"Indeed, and you'll do no such thing!" cried Cynthia. "Thyra Carewe is best left alone, if she is in a tantrum. She's like no other woman in Avonlea—or out of it. I'd as soon meddle with a tiger as her, if she's rampaging about Chester. I don't envy Damaris Garland her life if she goes in there. Thyra'd sooner strangle her than not, I guess."
"Absolutely not!" shouted Cynthia. "Thyra Carewe is better off left alone if she's throwing a fit. She's unlike any other woman in Avonlea—or anywhere else. I'd rather mess with a tiger than deal with her if she's causing a scene in Chester. I don’t envy Damaris Garland if she goes in there. I’d say Thyra would sooner strangle her than not."
"You women are all terrible hard on Thyra," said Carl, good-naturedly. He had been in love with Thyra, himself, long ago, and he still liked her in a friendly fashion. He always stood up for her when the Avonlea women ran her down. He felt troubled about her all night, recalling her as she paced the bridge. He wished he had gone back, in spite of Cynthia.
"You all are really rough on Thyra," Carl said with a smile. He had been in love with Thyra a long time ago and still cared for her as a friend. He always defended her when the women of Avonlea talked behind her back. He felt uneasy about her all night, remembering how she walked back and forth on the bridge. He wished he had gone back, even with Cynthia in the picture.
When Chester came home he met his mother on the bridge. In the faint, yet penetrating, moonlight they looked curiously alike, but Chester had the milder face. He was very handsome. Even in the seething of her pain and jealousy Thyra yearned over his beauty. She would have liked to put up her hands and caress his face, but her voice was very hard when she asked him where he had been so late.
When Chester got home, he saw his mom on the bridge. In the dim but strong moonlight, they looked surprisingly similar, but Chester had the softer features. He was really good-looking. Even through her overwhelming pain and jealousy, Thyra couldn't help but admire his beauty. She wanted to reach out and touch his face, but her voice came out harsh when she asked him where he had been so late.
"I called in at Tom Blair's on my way home from the harbor," he answered, trying to walk on. But she held him back by his arm.
"I stopped by Tom Blair's on my way home from the harbor," he said, trying to keep walking. But she pulled him back by his arm.
"Did you go there to see Damaris?" she demanded fiercely.
"Did you go there to see Damaris?" she asked fiercely.
Chester was uncomfortable. Much as he loved his mother, he felt, and always had felt, an awe of her and an impatient dislike of her dramatic ways of speaking and acting. He reflected, resentfully, that no other young man in Avonlea, who had been paying a friendly call, would be met by his mother at midnight and held up in such tragic fashion to account for himself. He tried vainly to loosen her hold upon his arm, but he understood quite well that he must give her an answer. Being strictly straight-forward by nature and upbringing, he told the truth, albeit with more anger in his tone than he had ever shown to his mother before.
Chester felt uneasy. As much as he loved his mother, he had always felt a mix of admiration and annoyance at her dramatic way of speaking and acting. He thought, with a hint of resentment, that no other young man in Avonlea, who had come over for a friendly visit, would be confronted by his mother at midnight and put on the spot like this. He tried unsuccessfully to free himself from her grip on his arm, but he knew he had to give her an answer. Being straightforward by nature and upbringing, he told the truth, though there was more anger in his voice than he had ever shown to her before.
"Yes," he said shortly.
"Yeah," he said briefly.
Thyra released his arm, and struck her hands together with a sharp cry. There was a savage note in it. She could have slain Damaris Garland at that moment.
Thyra let go of his arm and clapped her hands together with a loud cry. There was a fierce edge to it. She could have killed Damaris Garland in that moment.
"Don't go on so, mother," said Chester, impatiently. "Come in out of the cold. It isn't fit for you to be here. Who has been tampering with you? What if I did go to see Damaris?"
"Stop it, mom," Chester said, getting impatient. "Come inside out of the cold. It’s not safe for you to be out here. Who has been messing with you? So what if I went to see Damaris?"
"Oh—oh—oh!" cried Thyra. "I was waiting for you—alone—and you were thinking only of her! Chester, answer me—do you love her?"
"Oh—oh—oh!" cried Thyra. "I was waiting for you—by myself—and you were only thinking about her! Chester, tell me—do you love her?"
The blood rolled rapidly over the boy's face. He muttered something and tried to pass on, but she caught him again. He forced himself to speak gently.
The blood streamed quickly down the boy's face. He mumbled something and tried to move on, but she grabbed him again. He made an effort to speak softly.
"What if I do, mother? It wouldn't be such a dreadful thing, would it?"
"What if I do, Mom? It wouldn't be such a terrible thing, right?"
"And me? And me?" cried Thyra. "What am I to you, then?"
"And me? And me?" cried Thyra. "What do I mean to you, then?"
"You are my mother. I wouldn't love you any the less because I cared for another, too."
"You are my mom. I wouldn't love you any less just because I care about someone else, too."
"I won't have you love another," she cried. "I want all your love—all! What's that baby-face to you, compared to your mother? I have the best right to you. I won't give you up."
"I won’t let you love anyone else," she cried. "I want all your love—all of it! What does that baby-face mean to you compared to your mother? I have the strongest claim on you. I won’t give you up."
Chester realized that there was no arguing with such a mood. He walked on, resolved to set the matter aside until she might be more reasonable. But Thyra would not have it so. She followed on after him, under the alders that crowded over the lane.
Chester understood that there was no point in arguing when she was in that mood. He continued walking, determined to put the issue on hold until she could be more reasonable. But Thyra wasn’t going to let that happen. She followed him beneath the alder trees that lined the path.
"Promise me that you'll not go there again," she entreated. "Promise me that you'll give her up."
"Promise me you won't go there again," she pleaded. "Promise me you'll let her go."
"I can't promise such a thing," he cried angrily.
"I can't promise that," he shouted angrily.
His anger hurt her worse than a blow, but she did not flinch.
His anger stung her more than a physical hit, but she didn’t back down.
"You're not engaged to her?" she cried out.
"You're not engaged to her?" she exclaimed.
"Now, mother, be quiet. All the settlement will hear you. Why do you object to Damaris? You don't know how sweet she is. When you know her—"
"Now, mom, please be quiet. Everyone in the settlement will hear you. Why do you have a problem with Damaris? You have no idea how sweet she is. Once you get to know her—"
"I will never know her!" cried Thyra furiously. "And she shall not have you! She shall not, Chester!"
"I will never know her!" Thyra shouted angrily. "And she won't have you! She won't, Chester!"
He made no answer. She suddenly broke into tears and loud sobs. Touched with remorse, he stopped and put his arms about her.
He didn't say anything. She suddenly burst into tears and started crying loudly. Feeling a sense of remorse, he stopped and wrapped his arms around her.
"Mother, mother, don't! I can't bear to see you cry so. But, indeed, you are unreasonable. Didn't you ever think the time would come when I would want to marry, like other men?"
"Mom, please don’t! I can’t stand to see you cry like this. But honestly, you’re being unreasonable. Didn't you ever think there would come a time when I'd want to get married, like other guys?"
"No, no! And I will not have it—I cannot bear it, Chester. You must promise not to go to see her again. I won't go into the house this night until you do. I'll stay out here in the bitter cold until you promise to put her out of your thoughts."
"No, no! I can't accept this—I can't handle it, Chester. You have to promise me that you won't see her again. I won't go inside tonight until you do. I'll stay out here in the freezing cold until you promise to forget about her."
"That's beyond my power, mother. Oh, mother, you're making it hard for me. Come in, come in! You're shivering with cold now. You'll be sick."
"That's beyond my control, mom. Oh, mom, you're making this tough for me. Come in, come in! You're shivering from the cold now. You'll get sick."
"Not a step will I stir till you promise. Say you won't go to see that girl any more, and there's nothing I won't do for you. But if you put her before me, I'll not go in—I never will go in."
"Not a step will I move until you promise. Say you won't see that girl anymore, and I'll do anything for you. But if you choose her over me, I won't go in—I will never go in."
With most women this would have been an empty threat; but it was not so with Thyra, and Chester knew it. He knew she would keep her word. And he feared more than that. In this frenzy of hers what might she not do? She came of a strange breed, as had been said disapprovingly when Luke Carewe married her. There was a strain of insanity in the Lincolns. A Lincoln woman had drowned herself once. Chester thought of the river, and grew sick with fright. For a moment even his passion for Damaris weakened before the older tie.
With most women, this would have been an empty threat, but not with Thyra, and Chester was aware of that. He knew she would follow through on her promise. And he was worried about more than just that. In her current state of frenzy, what could she possibly do? She came from a peculiar family, as was often said disapprovingly when Luke Carewe married her. There was a history of madness in the Lincolns. A Lincoln woman had once drowned herself. Chester thought about the river and felt a wave of panic. For a moment, even his feelings for Damaris faded in comparison to the stronger bond with Thyra.
"Mother, calm yourself. Oh, surely there's no need of all this! Let us wait until to-morrow, and talk it over then. I'll hear all you have to say. Come in, dear."
"Mom, just relax. There's really no need for all this! Let's wait until tomorrow and discuss it then. I'm here to listen to everything you want to say. Come in, sweetheart."
Thyra loosened her arms from about him, and stepped back into a moon-lit space. Looking at him tragically, she extended her arms and spoke slowly and solemnly.
Thyra released her arms from around him and stepped back into a moonlit area. Gazing at him with a pained expression, she stretched out her arms and spoke slowly and seriously.
"Chester, choose between us. If you choose her, I shall go from you to-night, and you will never see me again!"
"Chester, make your choice between us. If you pick her, I will leave you tonight, and you'll never see me again!"
"Mother!"
"Mom!"
"Choose!" she reiterated, fiercely.
"Choose!" she insisted, fiercely.
He felt her long ascendancy. Its influence was not to be shaken off in a moment. In all his life he had never disobeyed her. Besides, with it all, he loved her more deeply and understandingly than most sons love their mothers. He realized that, since she would have it so, his choice was already made—or, rather that he had no choice.
He felt her long-standing influence. It couldn't be shaken off quickly. Throughout his life, he had never disobeyed her. Even with everything, he loved her more deeply and insightfully than most sons love their mothers. He understood that, since she wanted it that way, his decision was already made—or rather, he had no decision to make.
"Have your way," he said sullenly.
"Do what you want," he said gloomy.
She ran to him and caught him to her heart. In the reaction of her feeling she was half laughing, half crying. All was well again—all would be well; she never doubted this, for she knew he would keep his ungracious promise sacredly.
She ran to him and pulled him close. In her reaction, she was half laughing, half crying. Everything was okay again—everything would be okay; she never doubted this, because she knew he would keep his ungracious promise.
"Oh, my son, my son," she murmured, "you'd have sent me to my death if you had chosen otherwise. But now you are mine again!"
"Oh, my son, my son," she whispered, "you would have led me to my demise if you had picked differently. But now you’re mine again!"
She did not heed that he was sullen—that he resented her unjustice with all her own intensity. She did not heed his silence as they went into the house together. Strangely enough, she slept well and soundly that night. Not until many days had passed did she understand that, though Chester might keep his promise in the letter, it was beyond his power to keep it in the spirit. She had taken him from Damaris Garland; but she had not won him back to herself. He could never be wholly her son again. There was a barrier between them which not all her passionate love could break down. Chester was gravely kind to her, for it was not in his nature to remain sullen long, or visit his own unhappiness upon another's head; besides, he understood her exacting affection, even in its injustice, and it has been well-said that to understand is to forgive. But he avoided her, and she knew it. The flame of her anger burned bitterly towards Damaris.
She didn’t notice that he was moody—that he resented her unfairness with all her own intensity. She didn’t pay attention to his silence as they walked into the house together. Strangely enough, she slept well that night. It wasn’t until many days later that she realized that, although Chester might keep his promise in the letter, he couldn’t uphold it in spirit. She had taken him away from Damaris Garland, but she hadn’t won him back for herself. He could never fully be her son again. There was a barrier between them that not all her passionate love could break down. Chester was kindly towards her, since it wasn’t in his nature to stay sullen for long or to project his unhappiness onto others; besides, he understood her demanding affection, even with its unfairness, and it has been said that to understand is to forgive. But he kept his distance from her, and she noticed it. The fire of her anger burned bitterly towards Damaris.
"He thinks of her all the time," she moaned to herself. "He'll come to hate me yet, I fear, because it's I who made him give her up. But I'd rather even that than share him with another woman. Oh, my son, my son!"
"He thinks about her all the time," she lamented to herself. "He'll end up hating me, I’m afraid, because it’s me who made him let her go. But I’d rather that than share him with another woman. Oh, my son, my son!"
She knew that Damaris was suffering, too. The girl's wan face told that when she met her. But this pleased Thyra. It eased the ache in her bitter heart to know that pain was gnawing at Damaris' also.
She knew that Damaris was struggling, too. The girl's pale face showed that when she saw her. But this made Thyra feel better. It relieved the pain in her heavy heart to know that Damaris was hurting as well.
Chester was absent from home very often now. He spent much of his spare time at the harbor, consorting with Joe Raymond and others of that ilk, who were but sorry associates for him, Avonlea people thought.
Chester was away from home a lot these days. He spent most of his free time at the harbor, hanging out with Joe Raymond and others like him, who Avonlea people thought were bad company for him.
In late November he and Joe started for a trip down the coast in the latter's boat. Thyra protested against it, but Chester laughed at her alarm.
In late November, he and Joe set out on a trip down the coast in Joe's boat. Thyra objected to it, but Chester just laughed at her concerns.
Thyra saw him go with a heart sick from fear. She hated the sea, and was afraid of it at any time; but, most of all, in this treacherous month, with its sudden, wild gales.
Thyra watched him leave with a heart heavy with fear. She hated the sea and was scared of it all the time; but most of all, in this dangerous month, with its sudden, wild storms.
Chester had been fond of the sea from boyhood. She had always tried to stifle this fondness and break off his associations with the harbor fishermen, who liked to lure the high-spirited boy out with them on fishing expeditions. But her power over him was gone now.
Chester had loved the sea since he was a boy. She had always tried to suppress this love and break his ties with the harbor fishermen, who enjoyed persuading the adventurous boy to join them on fishing trips. But her control over him was gone now.
After Chester's departure she was restless and miserable, wandering from window to window to scan the dour, unsmiling sky. Carl White, dropping in to pay a call, was alarmed when he heard that Chester had gone with Joe, and had not tact enough to conceal his alarm from Thyra.
After Chester left, she felt uneasy and unhappy, moving from window to window to look at the dreary, uninviting sky. When Carl White stopped by to visit, he was disturbed to learn that Chester had left with Joe, and he didn't have the sense to hide his concern from Thyra.
"'T isn't safe this time of year," he said. "Folks expect no better from that reckless, harum-scarum Joe Raymond. He'll drown himself some day, there's nothing surer. This mad freak of starting off down the shore in November is just of a piece with his usual performances. But you shouldn't have let Chester go, Thyra."
"‘It’s not safe this time of year,' he said. 'People don’t expect anything better from that reckless, impulsive Joe Raymond. He’s going to get himself drowned one day, that much is certain. This crazy decision to head down to the shore in November fits right in with his usual antics. But you shouldn’t have let Chester go, Thyra.'"
"I couldn't prevent him. Say what I could, he would go. He laughed when I spoke of danger. Oh, he's changed from what he was! I know who has wrought the change, and I hate her for it!"
"I couldn't stop him. No matter what I said, he was going to leave. He just laughed when I mentioned the danger. Oh, he's not the same as he used to be! I know who caused this change, and I hate her for it!"
Carl shrugged his fat shoulders. He knew quite well that Thyra was at the bottom of the sudden coldness between Chester Carewe and Damaris Garland, about which Avonlea gossip was busying itself. He pitied Thyra, too. She had aged rapidly the past month.
Carl shrugged his overweight shoulders. He knew very well that Thyra was the cause of the sudden tension between Chester Carewe and Damaris Garland, which was the talk of Avonlea. He felt sorry for Thyra, too. She had aged quickly over the past month.
"You're too hard on Chester, Thyra. He's out of leading-strings now, or should be. You must just let me take an old friend's privilege, and tell you that you're taking the wrong way with him. You're too jealous and exacting, Thyra."
"You're being too tough on Chester, Thyra. He should be independent by now. Let me take the liberty of an old friend and tell you that you're going about this the wrong way. You're being too jealous and demanding, Thyra."
"You don't know anything about it. You have never had a son," said Thyra, cruelly enough, for she knew that Carl's sonlessness was a rankling thorn in his mind. "You don't know what it is to pour out your love on one human being, and have it flung back in your face!"
"You don't know anything about it. You've never had a son," Thyra said harshly, fully aware that Carl's lack of a child was a painful issue for him. "You have no idea what it's like to pour all your love into one person, only to have it thrown back in your face!"
Carl could not cope with Thyra's moods. He had never understood her, even in his youth. Now he went home, still shrugging his shoulders, and thinking that it was a good thing Thyra had not looked on him with favor in the old days. Cynthia was much easier to get along with.
Carl couldn't handle Thyra's moods. He had never really understood her, even back when he was younger. Now he went home, still shrugging his shoulders, thinking it was for the best that Thyra hadn't liked him back in the day. Cynthia was way easier to get along with.
More than Thyra looked anxiously to sea and sky that night in Avonlea. Damaris Garland listened to the smothered roar of the Atlantic in the murky northeast with a prescience of coming disaster. Friendly longshoremen shook their heads and said that Ches and Joe would better have kept to good, dry land.
More than Thyra anxiously looked at the sea and sky that night in Avonlea. Damaris Garland listened to the muffled roar of the Atlantic in the dark northeast with a sense that disaster was on the way. Friendly fishermen shook their heads and said that Ches and Joe should have stayed on solid, dry ground.
"It's sorry work joking with a November gale," said Abel Blair. He was an old man and, in his life, had seen some sad things along the shore.
"Joking around with a November gale is no fun," said Abel Blair. He was an old man and had seen some sad things along the shore in his life.
Thyra could not sleep that night. When the gale came shrieking up the river, and struck the house, she got out of bed and dressed herself. The wind screamed like a ravening beast at her window. All night she wandered to and fro in the house, going from room to room, now wringing her hands with loud outcries, now praying below her breath with white lips, now listening in dumb misery to the fury of the storm.
Thyra couldn't sleep that night. When the gale howled up the river and hit the house, she got out of bed and got dressed. The wind screeched like a wild beast at her window. All night she paced around the house, moving from room to room, sometimes wringing her hands and crying out loudly, sometimes praying quietly with pale lips, and sometimes listening in silent despair to the rage of the storm.
The wind raged all the next day; but spent itself in the following night, and the second morning was calm and fair. The eastern sky was a great arc of crystal, smitten through with auroral crimsonings. Thyra, looking from her kitchen window, saw a group of men on the bridge. They were talking to Carl White, with looks and gestures directed towards the Carewe house.
The wind howled all day long, but it wore itself out by the next night, and the second morning was peaceful and clear. The eastern sky was a huge curve of crystal, streaked with dawn's red glow. Thyra, looking out from her kitchen window, saw a group of men on the bridge. They were talking to Carl White, with their eyes and gestures pointing towards the Carewe house.
She went out and down to them. None of these who saw her white, rigid face that day ever forgot the sight.
She went outside and walked down to them. None of those who saw her pale, stiff face that day ever forgot the image.
"You have news for me," she said.
"You have news for me," she said.
They looked at each other, each man mutely imploring his neighbor to speak.
They looked at each other, silently urging the other to speak.
"You need not fear to tell me," said Thyra calmly. "I know what you have come to say. My son is drowned."
"You don't have to be afraid to tell me," Thyra said calmly. "I know what you came here to say. My son has drowned."
"We don't know THAT, Mrs. Carewe," said Abel Blair quickly. "We haven't got the worst to tell you—there's hope yet. But Joe Raymond's boat was found last night, stranded bottom up, on the Blue Point sand shore, forty miles down the coast."
"We don't know that, Mrs. Carewe," Abel Blair said quickly. "We don't have the worst news to share—there's still hope. But Joe Raymond's boat was found last night, capsized and stranded, on the Blue Point sand shore, forty miles down the coast."
"Don't look like that, Thyra," said Carl White pityingly. "They may have escaped—they may have been picked up."
"Don’t look like that, Thyra," Carl White said sympathetically. "They might have escaped—they might have been picked up."
Thyra looked at him with dull eyes.
Thyra looked at him with lifeless eyes.
"You know they have not. Not one of you has any hope. I have no son. The sea has taken him from me—my bonny baby!"
"You know they haven't. None of you has any hope. I have no son. The sea has taken him from me—my sweet baby!"
She turned and went back to her desolate home. None dared to follow her. Carl White went home and sent his wife over to her.
She turned and went back to her lonely home. Nobody dared to follow her. Carl White went home and had his wife check on her.
Cynthia found Thyra sitting in her accustomed chair. Her hands lay, palms upward, on her lap. Her eyes were dry and burning. She met Cynthia's compassionate look with a fearful smile.
Cynthia found Thyra sitting in her usual chair. Her hands rested, palms up, on her lap. Her eyes were dry and burning. She responded to Cynthia's sympathetic gaze with a scared smile.
"Long ago, Cynthia White," she said slowly, "you were vexed with me one day, and you told me that God would punish me yet, because I made an idol of my son, and set it up in His place. Do you remember? Your word was a true one. God saw that I loved Chester too much, and He meant to take him from me. I thwarted one way when I made him give up Damaris. But one can't fight against the Almighty. It was decreed that I must lose him—if not in one way, then in another. He has been taken from me utterly. I shall not even have his grave to tend, Cynthia."
"Long ago, Cynthia White," she said slowly, "you were upset with me one day, and you told me that God would punish me for making an idol out of my son and placing him above Him. Do you remember? Your words were true. God saw that I loved Chester too much, and He intended to take him away from me. I tried to interfere when I made him give up Damaris. But you can't go against the Almighty. It was destined that I would lose him—if not in one way, then in another. He has been completely taken from me. I won't even have his grave to care for, Cynthia."
"As near to a mad woman as anything you ever saw, with her awful eyes," Cynthia told Carl, afterwards. But she did not say so there. Although she was a shallow, commonplace soul, she had her share of womanly sympathy, and her own life had not been free from suffering. It taught her the right thing to do now. She sat down by the stricken creature and put her arms about her, while she gathered the cold hands in her own warm clasp. The tears filled her big, blue eyes and her voice trembled as she said:
"As close to a crazy person as you can imagine, with those terrible eyes," Cynthia told Carl later. But she didn’t say that at the time. Even though she was a shallow, ordinary person, she had her moments of womanly compassion, and her own life hadn’t been without pain. It taught her the right thing to do in this moment. She sat down next to the hurting woman and wrapped her arms around her, holding her cold hands in her warm grasp. Tears filled her big blue eyes, and her voice shook as she said:
"Thyra, I'm sorry for you. I—I—lost a child once—my little first-born. And Chester was a dear, good lad."
"Thyra, I'm sorry for you. I—I—lost a child once—my little firstborn. And Chester was a dear, good kid."
For a moment Thyra strained her small, tense body away from Cynthia's embrace. Then she shuddered and cried out. The tears came, and she wept her agony out on the other woman's breast.
For a moment, Thyra pulled her small, tense body away from Cynthia's embrace. Then she shuddered and cried out. The tears came, and she let her agony out on the other woman's chest.
As the ill news spread, other Avonlea women kept dropping in all through the day to condole with Thyra. Many of them came in real sympathy, but some out of mere curiosity to see how she took it. Thyra knew this, but she did not resent it, as she would once have done. She listened very quietly to all the halting efforts at consolation, and the little platitudes with which they strove to cover the nakedness of bereavement.
As the sad news spread, other women from Avonlea kept stopping by throughout the day to express their condolences to Thyra. Many came out of genuine sympathy, but some were just curious to see how she was handling it. Thyra was aware of this, but she didn’t feel upset about it like she might have in the past. She listened quietly to all the awkward attempts at comfort and the small clichés they used to try to mask the pain of loss.
When darkness came Cynthia said she must go home, but would send one of her girls over for the night.
When it got dark, Cynthia said she needed to go home, but she would send one of her girls over for the night.
"You won't feel like staying alone," she said.
"You won't want to be alone," she said.
Thyra looked up steadily.
Thyra looked up steadily.
"No. But I want you to send for Damaris Garland."
"No. But I want you to call Damaris Garland."
"Damaris Garland!" Cynthia repeated the name as if disbelieving her own ears. There was never any knowing what whim Thyra might take, but Cynthia had not expected this.
"Damaris Garland!" Cynthia repeated the name as if she couldn't believe her own ears. There was no telling what whim Thyra might have, but Cynthia had not seen this coming.
"Yes. Tell her I want her—tell her she must come. She must hate me bitterly; but I am punished enough to satisfy even her hate. Tell her to come to me for Chester's sake."
"Yes. Tell her I want her—tell her she has to come. She must really hate me; but I've suffered enough to satisfy even her hatred. Tell her to come to me for Chester's sake."
Cynthia did as she was bid, she sent her daughter, Jeanette, for Damaris. Then she waited. No matter what duties were calling for her at home she must see the interview between Thyra and Damaris. Her curiosity would be the last thing to fail Cynthia White. She had done very well all day; but it would be asking too much of her to expect that she would consider the meeting of these two women sacred from her eyes.
Cynthia did as she was asked; she sent her daughter, Jeanette, to get Damaris. Then she waited. No matter what responsibilities awaited her at home, she had to witness the meeting between Thyra and Damaris. Her curiosity would be the last thing to fade for Cynthia White. She had managed well all day, but it would be too much to expect her to regard the encounter between these two women as off-limits to her.
She half believed that Damaris would refuse to come. But Damaris came. Jeanette brought her in amid the fiery glow of a November sunset. Thyra stood up, and for a moment they looked at each other.
She partially thought that Damaris would decline to come. But Damaris showed up. Jeanette brought her in during the intense glow of a November sunset. Thyra stood up, and for a moment they gazed at each other.
The insolence of Damaris' beauty was gone. Her eyes were dull and heavy with weeping, her lips were pale, and her face had lost its laughter and dimples. Only her hair, escaping from the shawl she had cast around it, gushed forth in warm splendor in the sunset light, and framed her wan face like the aureole of a Madonna. Thyra looked upon her with a shock of remorse. This was not the radiant creature she had met on the bridge that summer afternoon. This—this—was HER work. She held out her arms.
The arrogance of Damaris' beauty was gone. Her eyes were dull and heavy from crying, her lips were pale, and her face had lost its joy and dimples. Only her hair, escaping from the shawl she had draped over it, flowed in warm splendor in the sunset light, framing her pale face like the halo of a Madonna. Thyra looked at her with a jolt of guilt. This wasn’t the bright person she had met on the bridge that summer afternoon. This—this—was HER doing. She extended her arms.
"Oh, Damaris, forgive me. We both loved him—that must be a bond between us for life."
"Oh, Damaris, I'm sorry. We both loved him—that has to be a bond between us for life."
Damaris came forward and threw her arms about the older woman, lifting her face. As their lips met even Cynthia White realized that she had no business there. She vented the irritation of her embarrassment on the innocent Jeanette.
Damaris stepped up and wrapped her arms around the older woman, lifting her face. As their lips met, even Cynthia White realized she didn’t belong there. She took out her frustration over her embarrassment on the innocent Jeanette.
"Come away," she whispered crossly. "Can't you see we're not wanted here?"
"Come on," she whispered angrily. "Can't you see we're not welcome here?"
She drew Jeanette out, leaving Thyra rocking Damaris in her arms, and crooning over her like a mother over her child.
She pulled Jeanette away, leaving Thyra gently rocking Damaris in her arms and singing to her like a mother would to her child.
When December had grown old Damaris was still with Thyra. It was understood that she was to remain there for the winter, at least. Thyra could not bear her to be out of her sight. They talked constantly about Chester; Thyra confessed all her anger and hatred. Damaris had forgiven her; but Thyra could never forgive herself. She was greatly changed, and had grown very gentle and tender. She even sent for August Vorst and begged him to pardon her for the way she had spoken to him.
When December was coming to an end, Damaris was still with Thyra. It was clear that she would stay there for the winter, at least. Thyra couldn’t stand to be away from her. They talked all the time about Chester; Thyra shared all her anger and resentment. Damaris had forgiven her, but Thyra could never forgive herself. She had changed a lot and had become very gentle and caring. She even called for August Vorst and asked him to forgive her for the way she had spoken to him.
Winter came late that year, and the season was a very open one. There was no snow on the ground and, a month after Joe Raymond's boat had been cast up on the Blue Point sand shore, Thyra, wandering about in her garden, found some pansies blooming under their tangled leaves. She was picking them for Damaris when she heard a buggy rumble over the bridge and drive up the White lane, hidden from her sight by the alders and firs. A few minutes later Carl and Cynthia came hastily across their yard under the huge balm-of-gileads. Carl's face was flushed, and his big body quivered with excitement. Cynthia ran behind him, with tears rolling down her face.
Winter arrived late that year, and the season was quite mild. There was no snow on the ground, and a month after Joe Raymond's boat had washed ashore at Blue Point, Thyra was wandering through her garden when she spotted some pansies blooming beneath their tangled leaves. She was picking them for Damaris when she heard a buggy rumble over the bridge and drive up the White lane, concealed from her view by the alders and firs. A few minutes later, Carl and Cynthia rushed across their yard under the large balm-of-gileads. Carl's face was flushed, and his big body shook with excitement. Cynthia trailed behind him, tears streaming down her face.
Thyra felt herself growing sick with fear. Had anything happened to Damaris? A glimpse of the girl, sewing by an upper window of the house, reassured her.
Thyra felt herself getting sick with fear. Had something happened to Damaris? A glimpse of the girl, sewing by an upper window of the house, reassured her.
"Oh, Thyra, Thyra!" gasped Cynthia.
"Oh, Thyra, Thyra!" gasped Cynthia.
"Can you stand some good news, Thyra?" asked Carl, in a trembling voice. "Very, very good news!"
"Can you handle some good news, Thyra?" Carl asked, his voice shaking. "Really, really good news!"
Thyra looked wildly from one to the other.
Thyra glanced back and forth between them, looking frantic.
"There's but one thing you would dare to call good news to me," she cried. "Is it about—about—"
"There's only one thing you would actually consider good news for me," she exclaimed. "Is it about—about—"
"Chester! Yes, it's about Chester! Thyra, he is alive—he's safe—he and Joe, both of them, thank God! Cynthia, catch her!"
"Chester! Yes, it’s about Chester! Thyra, he’s alive—he’s safe—he and Joe, both of them, thank God! Cynthia, grab her!"
"No, I am not going to faint," said Thyra, steadying herself by Cynthia's shoulder. "My son alive! How did you hear? How did it happen? Where has he been?"
"No, I’m not going to faint," said Thyra, steadying herself by Cynthia's shoulder. "My son is alive! How did you find out? What happened? Where has he been?"
"I heard it down at the harbor, Thyra. Mike McCready's vessel, the Nora Lee, was just in from the Magdalens. Ches and Joe got capsized the night of the storm, but they hung on to their boat somehow, and at daybreak they were picked up by the Nora Lee, bound for Quebec. But she was damaged by the storm and blown clear out of her course. Had to put into the Magdalens for repairs, and has been there ever since. The cable to the islands was out of order, and no vessels call there this time of year for mails. If it hadn't been an extra open season the Nora Lee wouldn't have got away, but would have had to stay there till spring. You never saw such rejoicing as there was this morning at the harbor, when the Nora Lee came in, flying flags at the mast head."
"I heard it down at the harbor, Thyra. Mike McCready's boat, the Nora Lee, just came in from the Magdalens. Ches and Joe got capsized the night of the storm, but they managed to hold on to their boat somehow, and at daybreak, the Nora Lee picked them up on her way to Quebec. However, she was damaged by the storm and blown way off course. She had to stop at the Magdalens for repairs and has been there ever since. The cable to the islands was out of order, and no boats come by for mail this time of year. If it hadn't been an extra open season, the Nora Lee wouldn’t have been able to leave and would have had to stay there until spring. You’ve never seen such joy as this morning at the harbor when the Nora Lee arrived, flying flags at the mast."
"And Chester—where is he?" demanded Thyra.
"And where's Chester?" Thyra asked.
Carl and Cynthia looked at each other.
Carl and Cynthia glanced at each other.
"Well, Thyra," said the latter, "the fact is, he's over there in our yard this blessed minute. Carl brought him home from the harbor, but I wouldn't let him come over until we had prepared you for it. He's waiting for you there."
"Well, Thyra," said the latter, "the thing is, he's over in our yard right now. Carl brought him home from the harbor, but I didn't want him to come over until we got you ready for it. He's waiting for you there."
Thyra made a quick step in the direction of the gate. Then she turned, with a little of the glow dying out of her face.
Thyra took a quick step toward the gate. Then she turned, with a bit of the glow fading from her face.
"No, there's one has a better right to go to him first. I can atone to him—thank God, I can atone to him!"
"No, there's someone who has a better right to go to him first. I can make amends to him—thank God, I can make amends to him!"
She went into the house and called Damaris. As the girl came down the stairs Thyra held out her hands with a wonderful light of joy and renunciation on her face.
She entered the house and called for Damaris. As the girl came down the stairs, Thyra stretched out her hands with a beautiful expression of joy and acceptance on her face.
"Damaris," she said, "Chester has come back to us—the sea has given him back to us. He is over at Carl White's house. Go to him, my daughter, and bring him to me!"
"Damaris," she said, "Chester is back with us—the sea has returned him to us. He's over at Carl White's place. Go to him, my daughter, and bring him to me!"
XI. THE EDUCATION OF BETTY
When Sara Currie married Jack Churchill I was broken-hearted...or believed myself to be so, which, in a boy of twenty-two, amounts to pretty much the same thing. Not that I took the world into my confidence; that was never the Douglas way, and I held myself in honor bound to live up to the family traditions. I thought, then, that nobody but Sara knew; but I dare say, now, that Jack knew it also, for I don't think Sara could have helped telling him. If he did know, however, he did not let me see that he did, and never insulted me by any implied sympathy; on the contrary, he asked me to be his best man. Jack was always a thoroughbred.
When Sara Currie married Jack Churchill, I was heartbroken...or at least I thought I was, which, for a twenty-two-year-old, feels pretty much the same. Not that I shared my feelings with anyone; that wasn’t how the Douglas family did things, and I felt it was my duty to uphold our traditions. I believed at the time that only Sara knew; but looking back, I think Jack must have known too, because I doubt Sara could have kept it a secret from him. If he did know, though, he never showed it to me or offered any pity; instead, he asked me to be his best man. Jack was always a stand-up guy.
I was best man. Jack and I had always been bosom friends, and, although I had lost my sweetheart, I did not intend to lose my friend into the bargain. Sara had made a wise choice, for Jack was twice the man I was; he had had to work for his living, which perhaps accounts for it.
I was the best man. Jack and I had always been close friends, and even though I had lost my girlfriend, I didn’t plan on losing my friend as well. Sara made a great choice because Jack was twice the man I was; he had to work for his living, which probably explains it.
So I danced at Sara's wedding as if my heart were as light as my heels; but, after she and Jack had settled down at Glenby I closed The Maples and went abroad...being, as I have hinted, one of those unfortunate mortals who need consult nothing but their own whims in the matter of time and money. I stayed away for ten years, during which The Maples was given over to moths and rust, while I enjoyed life elsewhere. I did enjoy it hugely, but always under protest, for I felt that a broken-hearted man ought not to enjoy himself as I did. It jarred on my sense of fitness, and I tried to moderate my zest, and think more of the past than I did. It was no use; the present insisted on being intrusive and pleasant; as for the future...well, there was no future.
So I danced at Sara's wedding as if my heart were as light as my heels; but after she and Jack settled down at Glenby, I closed The Maples and went abroad... being, as I've mentioned, one of those unfortunate souls who only need to follow their own whims with respect to time and money. I stayed away for ten years, during which The Maples was left to gather dust, while I lived life elsewhere. I had a great time, but always with a sense of guilt, because I felt that a heartbroken man shouldn't enjoy himself as I did. It conflicted with my sense of what was right, and I tried to tone down my enjoyment and think more about the past. It didn’t work; the present kept insisting on being appealing and fun; as for the future... well, there was no future.
Then Jack Churchill, poor fellow, died. A year after his death, I went home and again asked Sara to marry me, as in duty bound. Sara again declined, alleging that her heart was buried in Jack's grave, or words to that effect. I found that it did not much matter...of course, at thirty-two one does not take these things to heart as at twenty-two. I had enough to occupy me in getting The Maples into working order, and beginning to educate Betty.
Then Jack Churchill, poor guy, passed away. A year after he died, I went home and asked Sara to marry me again, as I felt I should. Sara turned me down once more, claiming that her heart was buried with Jack, or something like that. I realized it didn't really matter... of course, at thirty-two you don't take these things to heart like you do at twenty-two. I had plenty to keep me busy with getting The Maples up and running and starting to educate Betty.
Betty was Sara's ten year-old daughter, and she had been thoroughly spoiled. That is to say, she had been allowed her own way in everything and, having inherited her father's outdoor tastes, had simply run wild. She was a thorough tomboy, a thin, scrawny little thing with a trace of Sara's beauty. Betty took after her father's dark, tall race and, on the occasion of my first introduction to her, seemed to be all legs and neck. There were points about her, though, which I considered promising. She had fine, almond-shaped, hazel eyes, the smallest and most shapely hands and feet I ever saw, and two enormous braids of thick, nut-brown hair.
Betty was Sara's ten-year-old daughter, and she was totally spoiled. That is to say, she had always gotten her way in everything and, having inherited her father's love for the outdoors, had just run wild. She was a complete tomboy, a thin, scrawny little thing with a hint of Sara's beauty. Betty took after her father's tall, dark background and, when I first met her, seemed to be all legs and neck. However, there were aspects of her that I found promising. She had beautiful, almond-shaped hazel eyes, the smallest and most shapely hands and feet I had ever seen, and two huge braids of thick, nut-brown hair.
For Jack's sake I decided to bring his daughter up properly. Sara couldn't do it, and didn't try. I saw that, if somebody didn't take Betty in hand, wisely and firmly, she would certainly be ruined. There seemed to be nobody except myself at all interested in the matter, so I determined to see what an old bachelor could do as regards bringing up a girl in the way she should go. I might have been her father; as it was, her father had been my best friend. Who had a better right to watch over his daughter? I determined to be a father to Betty, and do all for her that the most devoted parent could do. It was, self-evidently, my duty.
For Jack's sake, I decided to raise his daughter the right way. Sara couldn't do it and didn't even make an effort. I realized that if someone didn't take charge of Betty, wisely and firmly, she would definitely be messed up. It seemed like nobody else cared about it, so I decided to see what an old bachelor could do when it came to raising a girl properly. I could have been her father; as it turned out, her dad was my best friend. Who had a better right to look out for his daughter? I was determined to be a father to Betty and do everything a devoted parent would do for her. It was clearly my responsibility.
I told Sara I was going to take Betty in hand. Sara sighed one of the plaintive little sighs which I had once thought so charming, but now, to my surprise, found faintly irritating, and said that she would be very much obliged if I would.
I told Sara I was going to take control of Betty. Sara let out one of those sad little sighs that I used to find so charming, but now, to my surprise, found kind of irritating, and said she would really appreciate it if I did.
"I feel that I am not able to cope with the problem of Betty's education, Stephen," she admitted, "Betty is a strange child...all Churchill. Her poor father indulged her in everything, and she has a will of her own, I assure you. I have really no control over her, whatever. She does as she pleases, and is ruining her complexion by running and galloping out of doors the whole time. Not that she had much complexion to start with. The Churchills never had, you know."...Sara cast a complacent glance at her delicately tinted reflection in the mirror.... "I tried to make Betty wear a sunbonnet this summer, but I might as well have talked to the wind."
"I feel like I can't handle the issue of Betty's education, Stephen," she admitted. "Betty is such a peculiar child...she's all Churchill. Her poor father spoiled her with everything, and she definitely has a strong will, trust me. I really have no control over her at all. She does whatever she wants and is ruining her complexion by constantly running and galloping outside. Not that she had much of a complexion to begin with. The Churchills never really did, you know."...Sara glanced smugly at her softly tinted reflection in the mirror.... "I tried to get Betty to wear a sunbonnet this summer, but it was like talking to the wind."
A vision of Betty in a sunbonnet presented itself to my mind, and afforded me so much amusement that I was grateful to Sara for having furnished it. I rewarded her with a compliment.
A picture of Betty in a sunbonnet popped into my head, and it made me laugh so much that I was thankful to Sara for bringing it to mind. I thanked her with a compliment.
"It is to be regretted that Betty has not inherited her mother's charming color," I said, "but we must do the best we can for her under her limitations. She may have improved vastly by the time she has grown up. And, at least, we must make a lady of her; she is a most alarming tomboy at present, but there is good material to work upon...there must be, in the Churchill and Currie blend. But even the best material may be spoiled by unwise handling. I think I can promise you that I will not spoil it. I feel that Betty is my vocation; and I shall set myself up as a rival of Wordsworth's 'nature,' of whose methods I have always had a decided distrust, in spite of his insidious verses."
"It’s unfortunate that Betty didn’t inherit her mother’s lovely color," I said, "but we have to do the best we can for her given her limitations. She might have improved significantly by the time she grows up. And, at the very least, we have to make a lady out of her; she’s quite the tomboy right now, but there’s definitely good potential to work with... there has to be, with the Churchill and Currie genes. But even the best potential can be ruined by poor guidance. I can promise you that I won’t ruin it. I feel that Betty is my calling; I’m determined to be a competitor of Wordsworth’s 'nature,' whose methods I’ve always been suspicious of, despite his charming verses."
Sara did not understand me in the least; but, then, she did not pretend to.
Sara didn't understand me at all; but then again, she didn't pretend to.
"I confide Betty's education entirely to you, Stephen," she said, with another plaintive sigh. "I feel sure I could not put it into better hands. You have always been a person who could be thoroughly depended on."
"I entrust Betty's education completely to you, Stephen," she said with another sad sigh. "I'm certain I couldn't find anyone better for it. You've always been someone we could fully rely on."
Well, that was something by way of reward for a life-long devotion. I felt that I was satisfied with my position as unofficial advisor-in-chief to Sara and self-appointed guardian of Betty. I also felt that, for the furtherance of the cause I had taken to heart, it was a good thing that Sara had again refused to marry me. I had a sixth sense which informed me that a staid old family friend might succeed with Betty where a stepfather would have signally failed. Betty's loyalty to her father's memory was passionate, and vehement; she would view his supplanter with resentment and distrust; but his old familiar comrade was a person to be taken to her heart.
Well, that was quite a reward for a lifetime of dedication. I felt content with my role as the unofficial chief advisor to Sara and my self-appointed protector of Betty. I also believed that, for the advancement of the cause I cared about, it was a good thing that Sara had once again turned down my marriage proposal. I had a gut feeling that a steady family friend might be able to connect with Betty in a way that a stepfather would completely fail to do. Betty’s loyalty to her father’s memory was intense and strong; she would see his replacement with resentment and distrust, but an old family friend was someone she could embrace.
Fortunately for the success of my enterprise, Betty liked me. She told me this with the same engaging candor she would have used in informing me that she hated me, if she had happened to take a bias in that direction, saying frankly:
Fortunately for the success of my venture, Betty liked me. She told me this with the same charming honesty she would have used if she had felt the opposite, saying openly:
"You are one of the very nicest old folks I know, Stephen. Yes, you are a ripping good fellow!"
"You are one of the nicest people I know, Stephen. Yes, you are a really great guy!"
This made my task a comparatively easy one; I sometimes shudder to think what it might have been if Betty had not thought I was a "ripping good fellow." I should have stuck to it, because that is my way; but Betty would have made my life a misery to me. She had startling capacities for tormenting people when she chose to exert them; I certainly should not have liked to be numbered among Betty's foes.
This made my job a lot easier; I sometimes cringe at the thought of what it would have been like if Betty hadn't considered me a "really great guy." I should have just gone for it, since that's how I roll; but Betty would have turned my life into a nightmare. She had an uncanny ability to torment people when she wanted to; I definitely wouldn't have wanted to be one of Betty's enemies.
I rode over to Glenby the next morning after my paternal interview with Sara, intending to have a frank talk with Betty and lay the foundations of a good understanding on both sides. Betty was a sharp child, with a disconcerting knack of seeing straight through grindstones; she would certainly perceive and probably resent any underhanded management. I thought it best to tell her plainly that I was going to look after her.
I rode over to Glenby the next morning after my conversation with Sara, planning to have an honest talk with Betty and establish a good understanding between us. Betty was a smart kid, with an uncanny ability to see right through any nonsense; she would definitely notice and likely dislike any sneaky tactics. I figured it was best to just tell her straightforwardly that I was going to take care of her.
When, however, I encountered Betty, tearing madly down the beech avenue with a couple of dogs, her loosened hair streaming behind her like a banner of independence, and had lifted her, hatless and breathless, up before me on my mare, I found that Sara had saved me the trouble of an explanation.
When I ran into Betty, racing down the beech avenue with a couple of dogs, her loose hair flowing behind her like a banner of independence, and I had lifted her, hatless and out of breath, up onto my mare, I realized that Sara had spared me the trouble of explaining anything.
"Mother says you are going to take charge of my education, Stephen," said Betty, as soon as she could speak. "I'm glad, because I think that, for an old person, you have a good deal of sense. I suppose my education has to be seen to, some time or other, and I'd rather you'd do it than anybody else I know."
"Mom says you're going to handle my education, Stephen," said Betty as soon as she could speak. "I'm happy about that because I think, for someone your age, you have a lot of common sense. I guess my education needs to be taken care of eventually, and I'd prefer it to be you rather than anyone else I know."
"Thank you, Betty," I said gravely. "I hope I shall deserve your good opinion of my sense. I shall expect you to do as I tell you, and be guided by my advice in everything."
"Thank you, Betty," I said seriously. "I hope I’ll live up to your confidence in my judgment. I expect you to follow my instructions and consider my advice on everything."
"Yes, I will," said Betty, "because I'm sure you won't tell me to do anything I'd really hate to do. You won't shut me up in a room and make me sew, will you? Because I won't do it."
"Yeah, I will," said Betty, "because I know you won’t ask me to do anything I’d really hate. You’re not going to lock me in a room and make me sew, right? Because I won’t do it."
I assured her I would not.
I told her I wouldn't.
"Nor send me to a boarding-school," pursued Betty. "Mother's always threatening to send me to one. I suppose she would have done it before this, only she knew I'd run away. You won't send me to a boarding-school, will you, Stephen? Because I won't go."
"Don't send me to a boarding school," Betty continued. "Mom's always threatening to send me to one. I guess she would have done it by now, but she knows I would run away. You won't send me to a boarding school, will you, Stephen? Because I refuse to go."
"No," I said obligingly. "I won't. I should never dream of cooping a wild little thing, like you, up in a boarding-school. You'd fret your heart out like a caged skylark."
"No," I said willingly. "I won't. I could never imagine trapping a wild little thing like you in a boarding school. You'd be miserable like a caged skylark."
"I know you and I are going to get along together splendidly, Stephen," said Betty, rubbing her brown cheek chummily against my shoulder. "You are so good at understanding. Very few people are. Even dad darling didn't understand. He let me do just as I wanted to, just because I wanted to, not because he really understood that I couldn't be tame and play with dolls. I hate dolls! Real live babies are jolly; but dogs and horses are ever so much nicer than dolls."
"I know you and I are going to get along great together, Stephen," said Betty, playfully rubbing her brown cheek against my shoulder. "You're so good at understanding. Very few people are. Even my dad didn’t get it. He let me do whatever I wanted, just because I wanted to, not because he really understood that I couldn't be tamed and play with dolls. I hate dolls! Real babies are fun; but dogs and horses are way nicer than dolls."
"But you must have lessons, Betty. I shall select your teachers and superintend your studies, and I shall expect you to do me credit along that line, as well as along all others."
"But you need to have lessons, Betty. I'll choose your teachers and oversee your studies, and I expect you to make me proud in that area, just like in all the others."
"I'll try, honest and true, Stephen," declared Betty. And she kept her word.
"I'll do my best, I promise, Stephen," Betty said. And she held to her promise.
At first I looked upon Betty's education as a duty; in a very short time it had become a pleasure...the deepest and most abiding interest of my life. As I had premised, Betty was good material, and responded to my training with gratifying plasticity. Day by day, week by week, month by month, her character and temperament unfolded naturally under my watchful eye. It was like beholding the gradual development of some rare flower in one's garden. A little checking and pruning here, a careful training of shoot and tendril there, and, lo, the reward of grace and symmetry!
At first, I saw Betty's education as an obligation; but before long, it became a joy...the deepest and most lasting interest of my life. As I had anticipated, Betty was great material and responded to my guidance with impressive adaptability. Day by day, week by week, month by month, her character and temperament blossomed naturally under my attentive supervision. It was like watching the gradual growth of a unique flower in my garden. A little bit of adjusting and trimming here, some careful training of her shoots and tendrils there, and, voilà, the reward of elegance and balance!
Betty grew up as I would have wished Jack Churchill's girl to grow—spirited and proud, with the fine spirit and gracious pride of pure womanhood, loyal and loving, with the loyalty and love of a frank and unspoiled nature; true to her heart's core, hating falsehood and sham—as crystal-clear a mirror of maidenhood as ever man looked into and saw himself reflected back in such a halo as made him ashamed of not being more worthy of it. Betty was kind enough to say that I had taught her everything she knew. But what had she not taught me? If there were a debt between us, it was on my side.
Betty grew up just as I would have wanted Jack Churchill's daughter to be—full of spirit and pride, embodying the true essence and grace of womanhood, loyal and loving, with the loyalty and love that come from an honest and unspoiled nature; true to her core, detesting deceit and pretense—like a crystal-clear mirror of girlhood that any man could look into and see himself reflected back in a light that made him feel unworthy. Betty was kind enough to say that I taught her everything she knew. But what did she not teach me? If there was any debt between us, it was on my part.
Sara was fairly well satisfied. It was not my fault that Betty was not better looking, she said. I had certainly done everything for her mind and character that could be done. Sara's manner implied that these unimportant details did not count for much, balanced against the lack of a pink-and-white skin and dimpled elbows; but she was generous enough not to blame me.
Sara felt pretty satisfied. It wasn't my fault that Betty wasn't better looking, she said. I had definitely done everything I could for her mind and character. Sara's tone suggested that these minor details didn't matter much, considering the absence of pink-and-white skin and dimpled elbows; but she was kind enough not to blame me.
"When Betty is twenty-five," I said patiently—I had grown used to speaking patiently to Sara—"she will be a magnificent woman—far handsomer than you ever were, Sara, in your pinkest and whitest prime. Where are your eyes, my dear lady, that you can't see the promise of loveliness in Betty?"
"When Betty turns twenty-five," I said patiently—I had become accustomed to speaking calmly to Sara—"she will be an amazing woman—much prettier than you ever were, Sara, in your best days. Where are your eyes, dear, that you can't see the potential beauty in Betty?"
"Betty is seventeen, and she is as lanky and brown as ever she was," sighed Sara. "When I was seventeen I was the belle of the county and had had five proposals. I don't believe the thought of a lover has ever entered Betty's head."
"Betty is seventeen, and she is as tall and skinny as ever," sighed Sara. "When I was seventeen, I was the most popular girl in the county and had received five marriage proposals. I don’t think the idea of a boyfriend has ever crossed Betty’s mind."
"I hope not," I said shortly. Somehow, I did not like the suggestion. "Betty is a child yet. For pity's sake, Sara, don't go putting nonsensical ideas into her head."
"I hope not," I said briefly. I just didn’t like the suggestion. "Betty is still a child. For goodness' sake, Sara, don’t put silly ideas in her head."
"I'm afraid I can't," mourned Sara, as if it were something to be regretted. "You have filled it too full of books and things like that. I've every confidence in your judgment, Stephen—and really you've done wonders with Betty. But don't you think you've made her rather too clever? Men don't like women who are too clever. Her poor father, now—he always said that a woman who liked books better than beaux was an unnatural creature."
"I'm sorry, I can't," Sara said sadly, as if it were a real loss. "You've packed it so full of books and stuff. I trust your judgment completely, Stephen—and honestly, you've done an amazing job with Betty. But don’t you think you've made her a bit too smart? Men aren't into women who are too smart. Her poor dad always said that a woman who preferred books to suitors was just unnatural."
I didn't believe Jack had ever said anything so foolish. Sara imagined things. But I resented the aspersion of blue-stockingness cast on Betty.
I couldn't believe Jack had ever said anything so stupid. Sara was just imagining things. But I was annoyed by the derogatory hint of being overly intellectual directed at Betty.
"When the time comes for Betty to be interested in beaux," I said severely, "she will probably give them all due attention. Just at present her head is a great deal better filled with books than with silly premature fancies and sentimentalities. I'm a critical old fellow—but I'm satisfied with Betty, Sara—perfectly satisfied."
"When the time comes for Betty to be interested in guys," I said sternly, "she will probably pay them the attention they deserve. Right now, her mind is much better occupied with books than with silly, premature crushes and sentimental nonsense. I'm a critical old man—but I'm happy with Betty, Sara—completely happy."
Sara sighed.
Sara let out a sigh.
"Oh, I dare say she is all right, Stephen. And I'm really grateful to you. I'm sure I could have done nothing at all with her. It's not your fault, of course,—but I can't help wishing she were a little more like other girls."
"Oh, I think she's perfectly fine, Stephen. And I'm really thankful to you. I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to do anything with her at all. It's not your fault, of course—but I can't help wishing she was a bit more like other girls."
I galloped away from Glenby in a rage. What a blessing Sara had not married me in my absurd youth! She would have driven me wild with her sighs and her obtuseness and her everlasting pink-and-whiteness. But there—there—there—gently! She was a sweet, good-hearted little woman; she had made Jack happy; and she had contrived, heaven only knew how, to bring a rare creature like Betty into the world. For that, much might be forgiven her. By the time I reached The Maples and had flung myself down in an old, kinky, comfortable chair in my library I had forgiven her and was even paying her the compliment of thinking seriously over what she had said.
I rode away from Glenby in a rage. Thank goodness Sara hadn't married me when I was so foolish! She would have driven me crazy with her sighs, her cluelessness, and that never-ending pink-and-white vibe. But hold on—she was a sweet, kind-hearted woman; she had made Jack happy; and somehow, she had managed to bring a rare person like Betty into the world. For that, she deserved some forgiveness. By the time I got to The Maples and collapsed into an old, comfy chair in my library, I had forgiven her and was even seriously considering what she had said.
Was Betty really unlike other girls? That is to say, unlike them in any respect wherein she should resemble them? I did not wish this; although I was a crusty old bachelor I approved of girls, holding them the sweetest things the good God has made. I wanted Betty to have her full complement of girlhood in all its best and highest manifestation. Was there anything lacking?
Was Betty really different from other girls? In other words, was she different in any way that she should actually be similar to them? I didn't want that; even though I was a grumpy old bachelor, I appreciated girls, considering them the sweetest things that God has created. I wanted Betty to experience all aspects of girlhood in their best and most meaningful forms. Was anything missing?
I observed Betty very closely during the next week or so, riding over to Glenby every day and riding back at night, meditating upon my observations. Eventually I concluded to do what I had never thought myself in the least likely to do. I would send Betty to a boarding-school for a year. It was necessary that she should learn how to live with other girls.
I watched Betty closely for the next week or so, riding to Glenby every day and back at night, thinking about what I saw. Eventually, I decided to do something I never thought I would. I would send Betty to a boarding school for a year. She needed to learn how to get along with other girls.
I went over to Glenby the next day and found Betty under the beeches on the lawn, just back from a canter. She was sitting on the dappled mare I had given her on her last birthday, and was laughing at the antics of her rejoicing dogs around her. I looked at her with much pleasure; it gladdened me to see how much, nay, how totally a child she still was, despite her Churchill height. Her hair, under her velvet cap, still hung over her shoulders in the same thick plaits; her face had the firm leanness of early youth, but its curves were very fine and delicate. The brown skin, that worried Sara so, was flushed through with dusky color from her gallop; her long, dark eyes were filled with the beautiful unconsciousness of childhood. More than all, the soul in her was still the soul of a child. I found myself wishing that it could always remain so. But I knew it could not; the woman must blossom out some day; it was my duty to see that the flower fulfilled the promise of the bud.
I went over to Glenby the next day and found Betty under the beeches on the lawn, just back from a ride. She was sitting on the dappled mare I had given her for her last birthday, laughing at the antics of her excited dogs around her. I looked at her with great pleasure; it made me happy to see how much, no, how completely a child she still was, despite her tall stature. Her hair, under her velvet cap, still hung over her shoulders in the same thick braids; her face had the firm slimness of early youth, but its curves were very fine and delicate. The brown skin, which worried Sara so much, was flushed with a dusky hue from her gallop; her long, dark eyes were filled with the beautiful innocence of childhood. More than anything, the spirit within her was still that of a child. I found myself wishing it could always stay that way. But I knew it couldn’t; she would blossom into a woman someday; it was my responsibility to ensure that the flower fulfilled the promise of the bud.
When I told Betty that she must go away to a school for a year, she shrugged, frowned and consented. Betty had learned that she must consent to what I decreed, even when my decrees were opposed to her likings, as she had once fondly believed they never would be. But Betty had acquired confidence in me to the beautiful extent of acquiescing in everything I commanded.
When I told Betty that she had to go away to school for a year, she shrugged, frowned, and agreed. Betty had learned that she had to go along with what I decided, even when my decisions went against what she wanted, even though she had once naively thought they never would. But Betty had gained enough trust in me to the point that she accepted everything I told her to do.
"I'll go, of course, since you wish it, Stephen," she said. "But why do you want me to go? You must have a reason—you always have a reason for anything you do. What is it?"
"I'll go, of course, since you want me to, Stephen," she said. "But why do you want me to go? You must have a reason—you always have a reason for everything you do. What is it?"
"That is for you to find out, Betty," I said. "By the time you come back you will have discovered it, I think. If not, it will not have proved itself a good reason and shall be forgotten."
"That's for you to figure out, Betty," I said. "By the time you return, I believe you'll have figured it out. If not, it won't have been a good reason and will be forgotten."
When Betty went away I bade her good-by without burdening her with any useless words of advice.
When Betty left, I said goodbye without weighing her down with any unnecessary advice.
"Write to me every week, and remember that you are Betty Churchill," I said.
"Write to me every week, and remember that you are Betty Churchill," I said.
Betty was standing on the steps above, among her dogs. She came down a step and put her arms about my neck.
Betty was standing on the stairs above, surrounded by her dogs. She stepped down and wrapped her arms around my neck.
"I'll remember that you are my friend and that I must live up to you," she said. "Good-by, Stephen."
"I'll remember that you're my friend and that I have to be worthy of you," she said. "Goodbye, Stephen."
She kissed me two or three times—good, hearty smacks! did I not say she was still a child?—and stood waving her hand to me as I rode away. I looked back at the end of the avenue and saw her standing there, short-skirted and hatless, fronting the lowering sun with those fearless eyes of hers. So I looked my last on the child Betty.
She kissed me two or three times—big, heartfelt kisses! Didn't I mention she was still a kid?—and stood waving goodbye as I rode off. I glanced back at the end of the lane and saw her standing there, in her short skirt and without a hat, facing the setting sun with her fearless eyes. So I took my final look at the kid Betty.
That was a lonely year. My occupation was gone and I began to fear that I had outlived my usefulness. Life seemed flat, stale, and unprofitable. Betty's weekly letters were all that lent it any savor. They were spicy and piquant enough. Betty was discovered to have unsuspected talents in the epistolary line. At first she was dolefully homesick, and begged me to let her come home. When I refused—it was amazingly hard to refuse—she sulked through three letters, then cheered up and began to enjoy herself. But it was nearly the end of the year when she wrote:
That was a lonely year. My job was gone, and I started to worry that I had outlived my usefulness. Life felt flat, boring, and unfulfilling. Betty's weekly letters were the only things that gave it any flavor. They were lively and full of character. It turned out that Betty had unexpected talent for writing letters. At first, she was terribly homesick and begged me to let her come home. When I said no—it was incredibly hard to say no—she sulked through three letters, then perked up and started to enjoy herself. But it was nearly the end of the year when she wrote:
"I've found out why you sent me here, Stephen—and I'm glad you did."
"I've figured out why you sent me here, Stephen—and I'm really glad you did."
I had to be away from home on unavoidable business the day Betty returned to Glenby. But the next afternoon I went over. I found Betty out and Sara in. The latter was beaming. Betty was so much improved, she declared delightedly. I would hardly know "the dear child."
I had to be away from home for unavoidable work the day Betty came back to Glenby. But the next
This alarmed me terribly. What on earth had they done to Betty? I found that she had gone up to the pineland for a walk, and thither I betook myself speedily. When I saw her coming down a long, golden-brown alley I stepped behind a tree to watch her—I wished to see her, myself unseen. As she drew near I gazed at her with pride, and admiration and amazement—and, under it all, a strange, dreadful, heart-sinking, which I could not understand and which I had never in all my life experienced before—no, not even when Sara had refused me.
This really freaked me out. What on earth had happened to Betty? I found out that she had gone up to the pine woods for a walk, so I quickly went there myself. When I saw her coming down a long, golden-brown path, I hid behind a tree to watch her—I wanted to see her without her seeing me. As she got closer, I looked at her with pride, admiration, and amazement—and underneath it all, I felt a strange, dreadful, heart-sinking feeling that I couldn't understand and had never felt before—not even when Sara had turned me down.
Betty was a woman! Not by virtue of the simple white dress that clung to her tall, slender figure, revealing lines of exquisite grace and litheness; not by virtue of the glossy masses of dark brown hair heaped high on her head and held there in wonderful shining coils; not by virtue of added softness of curve and daintiness of outline; not because of all these, but because of the dream and wonder and seeking in her eyes. She was a woman, looking, all unconscious of her quest, for love.
Betty was a woman! Not just because of the simple white dress that hugged her tall, slender figure, showing off her amazing grace and flexibility; not just because of the glossy waves of dark brown hair piled high on her head in beautiful, shiny coils; not just because of the added softness of her curves and the delicacy of her shape; not for all these reasons, but because of the dreaminess, wonder, and longing reflected in her eyes. She was a woman, unknowingly searching for love.
The understanding of the change in her came home to me with a shock that must have left me, I think, something white about the lips. I was glad. She was what I had wished her to become. But I wanted the child Betty back; this womanly Betty seemed far away from me.
The realization of the change in her hit me like a shock that left me, I think, a bit pale. I was happy. She had become what I hoped she would be. But I wanted the little girl Betty back; this grown-up Betty felt so distant from me.
I stepped out into the path and she saw me, with a brightening of her whole face. She did not rush forward and fling herself into my arms as she would have done a year ago; but she came towards me swiftly, holding out her hand. I had thought her slightly pale when I had first seen her; but now I concluded I had been mistaken, for there was a wonderful sunrise of color in her face. I took her hand—there were no kisses this time.
I stepped out into the path and she saw me, her whole face lighting up. She didn’t rush forward and throw herself into my arms like she would’ve a year ago; instead, she came toward me quickly, holding out her hand. I had thought she looked a bit pale when I first saw her, but now I realized I had been wrong, because her face was filled with a beautiful glow of color. I took her hand—there were no kisses this time.
"Welcome home, Betty," I said.
"Welcome home, Betty," I said.
"Oh, Stephen, it is so good to be back," she breathed, her eyes shining.
"Oh, Stephen, it's so good to be back," she said, her eyes shining.
She did not say it was good to see me again, as I had hoped she would do. Indeed, after the first minute of greeting, she seemed a trifle cool and distant. We walked for an hour in the pine wood and talked. Betty was brilliant, witty, self-possessed, altogether charming. I thought her perfect and yet my heart ached. What a glorious young thing she was, in that splendid youth of hers! What a prize for some lucky man—confound the obtrusive thought! No doubt we should soon be overrun at Glenby with lovers. I should stumble over some forlorn youth at every step! Well, what of it? Betty would marry, of course. It would be my duty to see that she got a good husband, worthy of her as men go. I thought I preferred the old duty of superintending her studies. But there, it was all the same thing—merely a post-graduate course in applied knowledge. When she began to learn life's greatest lesson of love, I, the tried and true old family friend and mentor, must be on hand to see that the teacher was what I would have him be, even as I had formerly selected her instructor in French and botany. Then, and not until then, would Betty's education be complete.
She didn't say it was great to see me again, which I had hoped she would. In fact, after the first minute of greeting, she seemed a bit cool and distant. We walked for an hour in the pine woods and talked. Betty was smart, witty, confident, and completely charming. I thought she was perfect, but my heart ached. What a wonderful young woman she was, in her amazing youth! What a catch for some lucky guy—damn that annoying thought! No doubt we’d soon be flooded with admirers at Glenby. I’d probably bump into some heartbroken guy at every turn! Well, so what? Betty would get married, of course. It would be my job to make sure she found a good husband, one who deserved her. I thought I preferred my previous duty of overseeing her studies. But really, it was all the same—just a post-graduate course in practical knowledge. When she started learning life's biggest lesson about love, I—the reliable old family friend and mentor—had to be there to ensure the teacher was someone I approved of, just like I had picked her instructors for French and botany. Only then, and not until then, would Betty's education be complete.
I rode home very soberly. When I reached The Maples I did what I had not done for years...looked critically at myself in the mirror. The realization that I had grown older came home to me with a new and unpleasant force. There were marked lines on my lean face, and silver glints in the dark hair over my temples. When Betty was ten she had thought me "an old person." Now, at eighteen, she probably thought me a veritable ancient of days. Pshaw, what did it matter? And yet...I thought of her as I had seen her, standing under the pines, and something cold and painful laid its hand on my heart.
I rode home quietly. When I got to The Maples, I did something I hadn’t done in years... looked critically at myself in the mirror. The realization that I had aged hit me with a new and uncomfortable force. There were noticeable lines on my thin face, and my dark hair was showing silver streaks at my temples. When Betty was ten, she had thought I was "an old person." Now, at eighteen, she probably saw me as a real fossil. Whatever. But still... I remembered her as I had seen her, standing under the pines, and something cold and painful gripped my heart.
My premonitions as to lovers proved correct. Glenby was soon infested with them. Heaven knows where they all came from. I had not supposed there was a quarter as many young men in the whole county; but there they were. Sara was in the seventh heaven of delight. Was not Betty at last a belle? As for the proposals...well, Betty never counted her scalps in public; but every once in a while a visiting youth dropped out and was seen no more at Glenby. One could guess what that meant.
My instincts about lovers turned out to be right. Glenby soon had an influx of them. Who knows where they all came from? I never thought there were that many young men in the entire county; but there they were. Sara was over the moon with excitement. Wasn’t Betty finally a socialite? As for the proposals... well, Betty never talked about her conquests in public; but now and then, a visiting guy would drop by and then disappear from Glenby. You could guess what that meant.
Betty apparently enjoyed all this. I grieve to say that she was a bit of a coquette. I tried to cure her of this serious defect, but for once I found that I had undertaken something I could not accomplish. In vain I lectured, Betty only laughed; in vain I gravely rebuked, Betty only flirted more vivaciously than before. Men might come and men might go, but Betty went on forever. I endured this sort of thing for a year and then I decided that it was time to interfere seriously. I must find a husband for Betty...my fatherly duty would not be fulfilled until I had...nor, indeed, my duty to society. She was not a safe person to have running at large.
Betty clearly enjoyed all of this. I regret to say that she was a bit of a flirt. I tried to help her with this serious issue, but for once I realized I had taken on something I couldn't fix. No matter how much I lectured, Betty just laughed; no matter how seriously I scolded her, Betty only flirted even more lively than before. Men would come and go, but Betty just kept going. I put up with this for a year and then decided it was time to step in seriously. I needed to find a husband for Betty...my duty as a guardian wouldn’t be done until I did...nor would my duty to society. She wasn’t someone who should be out on her own.
None of the men who haunted Glenby was good enough for her. I decided that my nephew, Frank, would do very well. He was a capital young fellow, handsome, clean-souled, and whole-hearted. From a worldly point of view he was what Sara would have termed an excellent match; he had money, social standing and a rising reputation as a clever young lawyer. Yes, he should have Betty, confound him!
None of the guys who hung around Glenby were good enough for her. I figured my nephew, Frank, would be a great fit. He was a great young man—handsome, genuine, and full of life. In terms of what you’d want in a partner, he was exactly what Sara would call an excellent match; he had money, a good social status, and a growing reputation as a smart young lawyer. Yes, he should definitely have Betty, damn him!
They had never met. I set the wheels going at once. The sooner all the fuss was over the better. I hated fuss and there was bound to be a good deal of it. But I went about the business like an accomplished matchmaker. I invited Frank to visit The Maples and, before he came, I talked much...but not too much...of him to Betty, mingling judicious praise and still more judicious blame together. Women never like a paragon. Betty heard me with more gravity than she usually accorded to my dissertations on young men. She even condescended to ask several questions about him. This I thought a good sign.
They had never met. I got things moving right away. The sooner all the drama was over, the better. I couldn't stand drama, and there was definitely going to be a lot of it. But I approached the task like a skilled matchmaker. I invited Frank to visit The Maples and, before he arrived, I talked a lot… but not too much… about him to Betty, mixing just the right amount of praise with a bit of criticism. Women never like someone who's perfect. Betty listened to me with more seriousness than she usually gave my talks about guys. She even bothered to ask several questions about him. I took this as a good sign.
To Frank I had said not a word about Betty; when he came to The Maples I took him over to Glenby and, coming upon Betty wandering about among the beeches in the sunset, I introduced him without any warning.
To Frank, I didn’t say a word about Betty; when he arrived at The Maples, I took him over to Glenby and, finding Betty wandering among the beeches at sunset, I introduced him without any warning.
He would have been more than mortal if he had not fallen in love with her upon the spot. It was not in the heart of man to resist her...that dainty, alluring bit of womanhood. She was all in white, with flowers in her hair, and, for a moment, I could have murdered Frank or any other man who dared to commit the sacrilege of loving her.
He would have been something beyond human if he hadn't fallen in love with her right then and there. No man could resist her...that delicate, captivating woman. She was dressed all in white, with flowers in her hair, and for a moment, I could have killed Frank or anyone else who dared to disrespect the sanctity of loving her.
Then I pulled myself together and left them alone. I might have gone in and talked to Sara...two old folks gently reviewing their youth while the young folks courted outside...but I did not. I prowled about the pine wood, and tried to forget how blithe and handsome that curly-headed boy, Frank, was, and what a flash had sprung into his eyes when he had seen Betty. Well, what of it? Was not that what I had brought him there for? And was I not pleased at the success of my scheme? Certainly I was! Delighted!
Then I pulled myself together and left them alone. I could have gone in and talked to Sara...two older people reminiscing about their youth while the younger ones dated outside...but I didn’t. I wandered around the pine woods and tried to forget how cheerful and good-looking that curly-haired kid, Frank, was, and the spark that lit up his eyes when he saw Betty. So what? Wasn't that the whole reason I had brought him there? And wasn’t I happy about the success of my plan? Absolutely! Thrilled!
Next day Frank went to Glenby without even making the poor pretense of asking me to accompany him. I spent the time of his absence overseeing the construction of a new greenhouse I was having built. I was conscientious in my supervision; but I felt no interest in it. The place was intended for roses, and roses made me think of the pale yellow ones Betty had worn at her breast one evening the week before, when, all lovers being unaccountably absent, we had wandered together under the pines and talked as in the old days before her young womanhood and my gray hairs had risen up to divide us. She had dropped a rose on the brown floor, and I had sneaked back, after I had left her the house, to get it, before I went home. I had it now in my pocket-book. Confound it, mightn't a future uncle cherish a family affection for his prospective niece?
The next day, Frank went to Glenby without even bothering to ask me to come along. I spent the time he was gone supervising the construction of a new greenhouse I was having built. I was diligent in my oversight, but I didn’t feel any connection to it. The greenhouse was meant for roses, which reminded me of the pale yellow ones Betty had worn pinned to her dress one evening the week before, when, with all our friends inexplicably absent, we wandered together under the pines and talked just like we used to before her youth and my gray hair came between us. She had dropped a rose on the brown floor, and I snuck back after I had left her at home to pick it up before I went back. I have it now in my wallet. Honestly, can’t a future uncle have a fondness for his future niece?
Frank's wooing seemed to prosper. The other young sparks, who had haunted Glenby, faded away after his advent. Betty treated him with most encouraging sweetness; Sara smiled on him; I stood in the background, like a benevolent god of the machine, and flattered myself that I pulled the strings.
Frank's attempts to win her over seemed to be going well. The other young guys who used to hang out in Glenby disappeared after he arrived. Betty was very sweet to him; Sara gave him encouraging smiles; I stayed in the background, like a supportive presence controlling things, thinking I was making it all happen.
At the end of a month something went wrong. Frank came home from Glenby one day in the dumps, and moped for two whole days. I rode down myself on the third. I had not gone much to Glenby that month; but, if there were trouble Bettyward, it was my duty to make smooth the rough places.
At the end of the month, something went wrong. Frank came home from Glenby one day feeling down, and he sulked for two whole days. I decided to ride down myself on the third day. I hadn't gone to Glenby much that month, but if there was trouble at Bettyward, it was my responsibility to make things better.
As usual, I found Betty in the pineland. I thought she looked rather pale and dull...fretting about Frank no doubt. She brightened up when she saw me, evidently expecting that I had come to straighten matters out; but she pretended to be haughty and indifferent.
As usual, I found Betty in the pine woods. I thought she looked pretty pale and down... worried about Frank, no doubt. She perked up when she saw me, clearly hoping I would help fix things; but she acted aloof and indifferent.
"I am glad you haven't forgotten us altogether, Stephen," she said coolly. "You haven't been down for a week."
"I’m glad you haven’t completely forgotten about us, Stephen," she said calmly. "You haven’t come by for a week."
"I'm flattered that you noticed it," I said, sitting down on a fallen tree and looking up at her as she stood, tall and lithe, against an old pine, with her eyes averted. "I shouldn't have supposed you'd want an old fogy like myself poking about and spoiling the idyllic moments of love's young dream."
"I'm honored that you noticed," I said, sitting down on a fallen tree and looking up at her as she stood, tall and graceful, against an old pine, with her eyes turned away. "I shouldn't have thought you'd want someone like me getting in the way and ruining the perfect moments of young love."
"Why do you always speak of yourself as old?" said Betty, crossly, ignoring my reference to Frank.
"Why do you always talk about yourself like you're old?" Betty said irritably, brushing aside my mention of Frank.
"Because I am old, my dear. Witness these gray hairs."
"Because I'm old, my dear. Look at these gray hairs."
I pushed up my hat to show them the more recklessly.
I pushed up my hat to show them more boldly.
Betty barely glanced at them.
Betty hardly looked at them.
"You have just enough to give you a distinguished look," she said, "and you are only forty. A man is in his prime at forty. He never has any sense until he is forty—and sometimes he doesn't seem to have any even then," she concluded impertinently.
"You have just enough to give you a classy look," she said, "and you're only forty. A man is at his best at forty. He doesn't really gain wisdom until he's forty—and sometimes it seems like he still doesn't have any even then," she finished cheekily.
My heart beat. Did Betty suspect? Was that last sentence meant to inform me that she was aware of my secret folly, and laughed at it?
My heart raced. Did Betty suspect? Was that last sentence meant to let me know that she knew about my secret crush and thought it was funny?
"I came over to see what has gone wrong between you and Frank," I said gravely.
"I came over to find out what went wrong between you and Frank," I said seriously.
Betty bit her lips.
Betty bit her lips.
"Nothing," she said.
"Nothing," she stated.
"Betty," I said reproachfully, "I brought you up...or endeavored to bring you up...to speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Don't tell me I have failed. I'll give you another chance. Have you quarreled with Frank?"
"Betty," I said with disappointment, "I raised you...or tried to raise you...to always tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Don't tell me I've failed. I'll give you another chance. Did you have a fight with Frank?"
"No," said the maddening Betty, "HE quarreled with me. He went away in a temper and I do not care if he never comes back!"
"No," said the infuriating Betty, "HE had a fight with me. He stormed off, and I don't care if he never comes back!"
I shook my head.
I shook my head.
"This won't do, Betty. As your old family friend I still claim the right to scold you until you have a husband to do the scolding. You mustn't torment Frank. He is too fine a fellow. You must marry him, Betty."
"This isn't acceptable, Betty. As your long-time family friend, I still have the right to reprimand you until you have a husband to do that for you. You shouldn't give Frank a hard time. He's too good of a guy. You need to marry him, Betty."
"Must I?" said Betty, a dusky red flaming out on her cheek. She turned her eyes on me in a most disconcerting fashion. "Do YOU wish me to marry Frank, Stephen?"
"Do I have to?" Betty asked, a deep blush spreading across her cheek. She looked at me in a way that really threw me off. "Do YOU want me to marry Frank, Stephen?"
Betty had a wretched habit of emphasizing pronouns in a fashion calculated to rattle anybody.
Betty had a terrible habit of stressing pronouns in a way that was sure to annoy anyone.
"Yes, I do wish it, because I think it will be best for you," I replied, without looking at her. "You must marry some time, Betty, and Frank is the only man I know to whom I could trust you. As your guardian, I have an interest in seeing you well and wisely settled for life. You have always taken my advice and obeyed my wishes; and you've always found my way the best, in the long run, haven't you, Betty? You won't prove rebellious now, I'm sure. You know quite well that I am advising you for your own good. Frank is a splendid young fellow, who loves you with all his heart. Marry him, Betty. Mind, I don't COMMAND. I have no right to do that, and you are too old to be ordered about, if I had. But I wish and advise it. Isn't that enough, Betty?"
"Yes, I do want it, because I believe it’s what's best for you," I replied, without looking at her. "You have to get married eventually, Betty, and Frank is the only guy I trust to look after you. As your guardian, I care about seeing you settled down happily for life. You've always listened to my advice and followed my wishes; and you've usually found that my way works out best in the end, right, Betty? I’m sure you won’t be difficult now. You know I’m looking out for your own good. Frank is a wonderful young man who loves you deeply. Marry him, Betty. Just so you know, I'm not COMMANDING you. I have no right to do that, and you're too old to be bossed around, even if I could. But I really want and advise you to do this. Isn’t that enough, Betty?"
I had been looking away from her all the time I was talking, gazing determinedly down a sunlit vista of pines. Every word I said seemed to tear my heart, and come from my lips stained with life-blood. Yes, Betty should marry Frank! But, good God, what would become of me!
I had been avoiding eye contact with her the whole time I was talking, staring intently down a sunny view of pine trees. Every word I said felt like it was ripping my heart out, and came from my lips stained with my own pain. Yes, Betty should marry Frank! But, oh man, what would happen to me!
Betty left her station under the pine tree, and walked around me until she got right in front of my face. I couldn't help looking at her, for if I moved my eyes she moved too. There was nothing meek or submissive about her; her head was held high, her eyes were blazing, and her cheeks were crimson. But her words were meek enough.
Betty stepped away from her spot under the pine tree and walked around me until she stood directly in front of me. I couldn't help but look at her because whenever I shifted my gaze, she did too. There was nothing shy or submissive about her; she held her head high, her eyes were fierce, and her cheeks were bright red. But her words were gentle enough.
"I will marry Frank if you wish it, Stephen," she said. "You are my friend. I have never crossed your wishes, and, as you say, I have never regretted being guided by them. I will do exactly as you wish in this case also, I promise you that. But, in so solemn a question, I must be very certain what you DO wish. There must be no doubt in my mind or heart. Look me squarely in the eyes, Stephen—as you haven't done once to-day, no, nor once since I came home from school—and, so looking, tell me that you wish me to marry Frank Douglas and I will do it! DO you, Stephen?"
"I'll marry Frank if that's what you want, Stephen," she said. "You're my friend. I've never gone against your wishes, and like you said, I've never regretted following your lead. I'll do exactly what you want in this case too, I promise. But, on such a serious matter, I need to be completely sure of what you want. There can't be any doubt in my mind or heart. Look me straight in the eyes, Stephen—like you haven't done all day, no, not even once since I got back from school—and while you’re looking at me, tell me that you want me to marry Frank Douglas, and I’ll do it! Do you, Stephen?"
I had to look her in the eyes, since nothing else would do her; and, as I did so, all the might of manhood in me rose up in hot revolt against the lie I would have told her. That unfaltering, impelling gaze of hers drew the truth from my lips in spite of myself.
I had to look her in the eyes, because anything less wouldn't work for her; and as I did, all my strength as a man surged up in fierce rebellion against the lie I almost told her. That unwavering, intense look of hers pulled the truth from my lips despite my intentions.
"No, I don't wish you to marry Frank Douglas, a thousand times no!" I said passionately. "I don't wish you to marry any man on earth but myself. I love you—I love you, Betty. You are dearer to me than life—dearer to me than my own happiness. It was your happiness I thought of—and so I asked you to marry Frank because I believed he would make you a happy woman. That is all!"
"No, I don’t want you to marry Frank Douglas, absolutely not!" I said passionately. "I don’t want you to marry anyone on earth but me. I love you—I love you, Betty. You mean more to me than life itself—more than my own happiness. I was thinking of your happiness—and that’s why I asked you to marry Frank, because I thought he would make you happy. That’s all!"
Betty's defiance went from her like a flame blown out. She turned away and drooped her proud head.
Betty's defiance vanished like a blown-out candle. She turned away and lowered her proud head.
"It could not have made me a happy woman to marry one man, loving another," she said, in a whisper.
"It wouldn’t have made me a happy woman to marry one guy while loving another," she said, in a whisper.
I got up and went over to her.
I stood up and walked over to her.
"Betty, whom do you love?" I asked, also in a whisper.
"Betty, who do you love?" I asked, also in a whisper.
"You," she murmured meekly—oh, so meekly, my proud little girl!
"You," she whispered softly—oh, so softly, my proud little girl!
"Betty," I said brokenly, "I'm old—too old for you—I'm more than twenty years your senior—I'm—"
"Betty," I said sadly, "I'm old—way too old for you—I'm over twenty years older than you—I’m—"
"Oh!" Betty wheeled around on me and stamped her foot. "Don't mention your age to me again. I don't care if you're as old as Methuselah. But I'm not going to coax you to marry me, sir! If you won't, I'll never marry anybody—I'll live and die an old maid. You can please yourself, of course!"
"Oh!" Betty turned to me and stamped her foot. "Don't bring up your age again. I don't care if you're as old as Methuselah. But I'm not going to beg you to marry me, sir! If you won’t, I’ll never marry anyone—I'll live and die a spinster. You can do what you want, of course!"
She turned away, half-laughing, half-crying; but I caught her in my arms and crushed her sweet lips against mine.
She turned away, half-laughing, half-crying; but I caught her in my arms and pressed her sweet lips against mine.
"Betty, I'm the happiest man in the world—and I was the most miserable when I came here."
"Betty, I'm the happiest guy in the world—and I was the most miserable when I got here."
"You deserved to be," said Betty cruelly. "I'm glad you were. Any man as stupid as you deserves to be unhappy. What do you think I felt like, loving you with all my heart, and seeing you simply throwing me at another man's head. Why, I've always loved you, Stephen; but I didn't know it until I went to that detestable school. Then I found out—and I thought that was why you had sent me. But, when I came home, you almost broke my heart. That was why I flirted so with all those poor, nice boys—I wanted to hurt you but I never thought I succeeded. You just went on being FATHERLY. Then, when you brought Frank here, I almost gave up hope; and I tried to make up my mind to marry him; I should have done it if you had insisted. But I had to have one more try for happiness first. I had just one little hope to inspire me with sufficient boldness. I saw you, that night, when you came back here and picked up my rose! I had come back, myself, to be alone and unhappy."
"You deserved it," Betty said harshly. "I'm glad you did. Any guy as foolish as you deserves to be miserable. What did you think it was like for me, loving you with all my heart, and watching you throw me at another man's feet? I've always loved you, Stephen; I just didn't realize it until I went to that awful school. That’s when I figured it out—and I thought that was why you sent me there. But when I came home, you nearly shattered my heart. That’s why I flirted so much with all those nice boys—I wanted to hurt you, but I never thought I actually did. You just kept being FATHERLY. Then, when you brought Frank here, I almost lost hope; I tried to convince myself to marry him; I would have done it if you had pushed me. But I needed one more chance at happiness first. I had just a small glimmer of hope to give me the courage I needed. I saw you that night when you came back and picked up my rose! I had come back, too, to be alone and unhappy."
"It is the most wonderful thing that ever happened—that you should love me," I said.
"It’s the most amazing thing that ever happened—that you love me," I said.
"It's not—I couldn't help it," said Betty, nestling her brown head on my shoulder. "You taught me everything else, Stephen, so nobody but you could teach me how to love. You've made a thorough thing of educating me."
"It's not—I couldn't help it," said Betty, resting her brown head on my shoulder. "You taught me everything else, Stephen, so no one but you could teach me how to love. You've done a complete job of educating me."
"When will you marry me, Betty?" I asked.
"When are you going to marry me, Betty?" I asked.
"As soon as I can fully forgive you for trying to make me marry somebody else," said Betty.
"As soon as I can completely forgive you for trying to make me marry someone else," said Betty.
It was rather hard lines on Frank, when you come to think of it. But, such is the selfishness of human nature that we didn't think much about Frank. The young fellow behaved like the Douglas he was. Went a little white about the lips when I told him, wished me all happiness, and went quietly away, "gentleman unafraid."
It was pretty tough on Frank when you really think about it. But, that’s just the selfishness of human nature; we didn’t give much thought to Frank. The young guy acted like the Douglas he was. He went a little pale when I told him, wished me all the best, and quietly walked away, "gentleman unafraid."
He has since married and is, I understand, very happy. Not as happy as I am, of course; that is impossible, because there is only one Betty in the world, and she is my wife.
He has since married and, as far as I know, is very happy. Not as happy as I am, of course; that's impossible because there is only one Betty in the world, and she is my wife.
XII. IN HER SELFLESS MOOD
The raw wind of an early May evening was puffing in and out the curtains of the room where Naomi Holland lay dying. The air was moist and chill, but the sick woman would not have the window closed.
The cold wind of an early May evening was blowing in and out of the curtains in the room where Naomi Holland was lying unconscious. The air was damp and cool, but the sick woman wouldn't let anyone close the window.
"I can't get my breath if you shut everything up so tight," she said. "Whatever comes, I ain't going to be smothered to death, Car'line Holland."
"I can't catch my breath if you keep everything so closed up," she said. "No matter what happens, I won't let myself be smothered to death, Car'line Holland."
Outside of the window grew a cherry tree, powdered with moist buds with the promise of blossoms she would not live to see. Between its boughs she saw a crystal cup of sky over hills that were growing dim and purple. The outside air was full of sweet, wholesome springtime sounds that drifted in fitfully. There were voices and whistles in the barnyard, and now and then faint laughter. A bird alighted for a moment on a cherry bough, and twittered restlessly. Naomi knew that white mists were hovering in the silent hollows, that the maple at the gate wore a misty blossom red, and that violet stars were shining bluely on the brooklands.
Outside the window, a cherry tree grew, covered in damp buds promising blossoms she wouldn’t live to see. Between its branches, she caught a glimpse of a clear patch of sky over hills that were fading into purple. The fresh air was filled with sweet, lively spring sounds that came and went. There were voices and whistles from the barnyard, and occasionally faint laughter. A bird landed momentarily on a cherry branch, chirping restlessly. Naomi was aware that white mists lingered in the quiet valleys, that the maple at the gate had a misty red bloom, and that blue violet stars sparkled over the meadows.
The room was a small, plain one. The floor was bare, save for a couple of braided rugs, the plaster discolored, the walls dingy and glaring. There had never been much beauty in Naomi Holland's environment, and, now that she was dying, there was even less.
The room was small and simple. The floor was bare except for a couple of braided rugs, the plaster was stained, and the walls were dull and harsh. There had never been much beauty in Naomi Holland's surroundings, and now that she was dying, there was even less.
At the open window a boy of about ten years was leaning out over the sill and whistling. He was tall for his age, and beautiful—the hair a rich auburn with a glistening curl in it, skin very white and warm-tinted, eyes small and of a greenish blue, with dilated pupils and long lashes. He had a weak chin, and a full, sullen mouth.
At the open window, a ten-year-old boy was leaning out over the sill and whistling. He was tall for his age and strikingly good-looking—his hair was a rich auburn with a shiny curl, his skin very fair with a warm tint, and his eyes small and a greenish-blue, with dilated pupils and long lashes. He had a weak chin and a full, sulky mouth.
The bed was in the corner farthest from the window; on it the sick woman, in spite of the pain that was her portion continually, was lying as quiet and motionless as she had done ever since she had lain down upon it for the last time. Naomi Holland never complained; when the agony was at its worst, she shut her teeth more firmly over her bloodless lip, and her great black eyes glared at the blank wall before in a way that gave her attendants what they called "the creeps," but no word or moan escaped her.
The bed was in the corner farthest from the window; on it, the sick woman, despite the constant pain she endured, lay as still and motionless as she had since she last lay down. Naomi Holland never complained; when the agony was at its worst, she clenched her teeth tightly over her pale lip, and her deep black eyes stared at the blank wall in a way that gave her caretakers "the creeps," but not a word or moan escaped her.
Between the paroxysms she kept up her keen interest in the life that went on about her. Nothing escaped her sharp, alert eyes and ears. This evening she lay spent on the crumpled pillows; she had had a bad spell in the afternoon and it had left her very weak. In the dim light her extremely long face looked corpse-like already. Her black hair lay in a heavy braid over the pillow and down the counterpane. It was all that was left of her beauty, and she took a fierce joy in it. Those long, glistening, sinuous tresses must be combed and braided every day, no matter what came.
Between the fits, she maintained her keen interest in the life around her. Nothing escaped her sharp, attentive eyes and ears. That evening, she lay exhausted on the wrinkled pillows; she had gone through a rough patch in the afternoon, which left her feeling very weak. In the dim light, her very long face already looked lifeless. Her black hair lay in a heavy braid over the pillow and down the bedspread. It was all that remained of her beauty, and she took fierce pride in it. Those long, shining, flowing locks had to be combed and braided every day, no matter what happened.
A girl of fourteen was curled up on a chair at the head of the bed, with her head resting on the pillow. The boy at the window was her half-brother; but, between Christopher Holland and Eunice Carr, not the slightest resemblance existed.
A fourteen-year-old girl was curled up on a chair at the head of the bed, with her head resting on the pillow. The boy at the window was her half-brother; however, there was no resemblance whatsoever between Christopher Holland and Eunice Carr.
Presently the sibilant silence was broken by a low, half-strangled sob. The sick woman, who had been watching a white evening star through the cherry boughs, turned impatiently at the sound.
Right now, the quiet was interrupted by a low, muffled sob. The sick woman, who had been watching a bright evening star through the cherry branches, turned impatiently at the noise.
"I wish you'd get over that, Eunice," she said sharply. "I don't want any one crying over me until I'm dead; and then you'll have plenty else to do, most likely. If it wasn't for Christopher I wouldn't be anyways unwilling to die. When one has had such a life as I've had, there isn't much in death to be afraid of. Only, a body would like to go right off, and not die by inches, like this. 'Tain't fair!"
"I wish you'd move past that, Eunice," she said sharply. "I don't want anyone crying over me until I'm gone; and then you'll probably have a lot more to handle. If it weren't for Christopher, I wouldn't mind dying at all. When you've had a life like mine, there's not much to fear about death. It's just that you'd prefer to go quickly, instead of dying slowly like this. It's not fair!"
She snapped out the last sentence as if addressing some unseen, tyrannical presence; her voice, at least, had not weakened, but was as clear and incisive as ever. The boy at the window stopped whistling, and the girl silently wiped her eyes on her faded gingham apron.
She finished the last sentence as if she were speaking to some invisible, harsh presence; her voice, at least, hadn’t faltered, but remained as clear and sharp as ever. The boy at the window stopped whistling, and the girl quietly wiped her eyes on her worn gingham apron.
Naomi drew her own hair over her lips, and kissed it.
Naomi brushed her hair over her lips and gave it a kiss.
"You'll never have hair like that, Eunice," she said. "It does seem most too pretty to bury, doesn't it? Mind you see that it is fixed nice when I'm laid out. Comb it right up on my head and braid it there."
"You'll never have hair like that, Eunice," she said. "It really does seem way too pretty to bury, doesn’t it? Just make sure it looks nice when I’m laid out. Comb it all the way up on my head and braid it there."
A sound, such as might be wrung from a suffering animal, came from the girl, but at the same moment the door opened and a woman entered.
A noise, similar to what you’d hear from a distressed animal, came from the girl, but at that moment, the door opened and a woman walked in.
"Chris," she said sharply, "you get right off for the cows, you lazy little scamp! You knew right well you had to go for them, and here you've been idling, and me looking high and low for you. Make haste now; it's ridiculous late."
"Chris," she said sharply, "get out there and get the cows, you lazy little rascal! You know you were supposed to go get them, and here you are wasting time while I've been searching everywhere for you. Hurry up; it's ridiculously late."
The boy pulled in his head and scowled at his aunt, but he dared not disobey, and went out slowly with a sulky mutter.
The boy pulled his head in and frowned at his aunt, but he didn't dare disobey, and he went out slowly with a sulky mumble.
His aunt subdued a movement, that might have developed into a sound box on his ears, with a rather frightened glance at the bed. Naomi Holland was spent and dying, but her temper was still a thing to hold in dread, and her sister-in-law did not choose to rouse it by slapping Christopher. To her and her co-nurse the spasms of rage, which the sick woman sometimes had, seemed to partake of the nature of devil possession. The last one, only three days before, had been provoked by Christopher's complaint of some real or fancied ill-treatment from his aunt, and the latter had no mind to bring on another. She went over to the bed, and straightened the clothes.
His aunt held back a movement that could have turned into a sound in his ears with a terrified glance at the bed. Naomi Holland was exhausted and near death, but her temper was still something to fear, and her sister-in-law didn’t want to provoke it by hitting Christopher. To her and her co-nurse, the fits of rage that the sick woman sometimes had seemed like something possessed by a devil. The last one, just three days earlier, had been triggered by Christopher's complaint about some real or imagined mistreatment from his aunt, and she had no desire to spark another. She approached the bed and straightened the sheets.
"Sarah and I are going out to milk, Naomi, Eunice will stay with you. She can run for us if you feel another spell coming on."
"Sarah and I are heading out to milk, Naomi, Eunice will hang back with you. She can go for help if you feel another episode coming on."
Naomi Holland looked up at her sister-in-law with something like malicious enjoyment.
Naomi Holland looked up at her sister-in-law with a hint of malicious pleasure.
"I ain't going to have any more spells, Car'line Anne. I'm going to die to-night. But you needn't hurry milking for that, at all. I'll take my time."
"I’m not going to have any more episodes, Car'line Anne. I'm going to die tonight. But you don’t need to rush your milking for that, not at all. I’ll take my time."
She liked to see the alarm that came over the other woman's face. It was richly worth while to scare Caroline Holland like that.
She enjoyed watching the look of alarm spread across the other woman's face. It was definitely worth it to scare Caroline Holland like that.
"Are you feeling worse, Naomi?" asked the latter shakily. "If you are I'll send for Charles to go for the doctor."
"Are you feeling worse, Naomi?" the latter asked nervously. "If you are, I'll call Charles to get the doctor."
"No, you won't. What good can the doctor do me? I don't want either his or Charles' permission to die. You can go and milk at your ease. I won't die till you're done—I won't deprive you of the pleasure of seeing me."
"No, you won't. What can the doctor do for me? I don't need his or Charles' permission to die. You can go ahead and milk at your leisure. I won't die until you’re finished—I won't take away the pleasure of seeing me."
Mrs. Holland shut her lips and went out of the room with a martyr-like expression. In some ways Naomi Holland was not an exacting patient, but she took her satisfaction out in the biting, malicious speeches she never failed to make. Even on her death-bed her hostility to her sister-in-law had to find vent.
Mrs. Holland pressed her lips together and left the room with a martyr-like expression. In some ways, Naomi Holland wasn't a difficult patient, but she expressed her frustration through the cutting, spiteful remarks she always made. Even on her deathbed, her resentment towards her sister-in-law had to come out.
Outside, at the steps, Sarah Spencer was waiting, with the milk pails over her arm. Sarah Spencer had no fixed abiding place, but was always to be found where there was illness. Her experience, and an utter lack of nerves, made her a good nurse. She was a tall, homely woman with iron gray hair and a lined face. Beside her, the trim little Caroline Anne, with her light step and round, apple-red face, looked almost girlish.
Outside, on the steps, Sarah Spencer was waiting, with the milk pails resting on her arm. Sarah Spencer didn’t have a permanent home but was always found where there was illness. Her experience and complete lack of nerves made her an excellent nurse. She was a tall, plain woman with iron gray hair and a lined face. Next to her, the neat little Caroline Anne, with her light step and round, rosy face, looked almost like a girl.
The two women walked to the barnyard, discussing Naomi in undertones as they went. The house they had left behind grew very still.
The two women walked to the barnyard, quietly talking about Naomi as they went. The house they had just left became very quiet.
In Naomi Holland's room the shadows were gathering. Eunice timidly bent over her mother.
In Naomi Holland's room, shadows were starting to form. Eunice nervously leaned over her mother.
"Ma, do you want the light lit?"
"Mom, do you want the light on?"
"No, I'm watching that star just below the big cherry bough. I'll see it set behind the hill. I've seen it there, off and on, for twelve years, and now I'm taking a good-by look at it. I want you to keep still, too. I've got a few things to think over, and I don't want to be disturbed."
"No, I’m watching that star just below the big cherry branch. I’ll see it set behind the hill. I’ve seen it there, on and off, for twelve years, and now I’m taking a goodbye look at it. I want you to be quiet too. I’ve got a few things to think about, and I don’t want to be disturbed."
The girl lifted herself about noiselessly and locked her hands over the bed-post. Then she laid her face down on them, biting at them silently until the marks of her teeth showed white against their red roughness.
The girl quietly pulled herself up and locked her hands around the bedpost. Then she laid her face down on them, silently biting into them until the impressions of her teeth showed white against their red roughness.
Naomi Holland did not notice her. She was looking steadfastly at the great, pearl-like sparkle in the faint-hued sky. When it finally disappeared from her vision she struck her long, thin hands together twice, and a terrible expression came over her face for a moment. But, when she spoke, her voice was quite calm.
Naomi Holland didn’t notice her. She was focused intently on the big, pearl-like sparkle in the faintly colored sky. When it finally disappeared from her sight, she clapped her long, thin hands together twice, and a terrible expression crossed her face for a moment. However, when she spoke, her voice was perfectly calm.
"You can light the candle now, Eunice. Put it up on the shelf here, where it won't shine in my eyes. And then sit down on the foot of the bed where I can see you. I've got something to say to you."
"You can light the candle now, Eunice. Put it on the shelf here, where it won't shine in my eyes. Then sit down at the foot of the bed so I can see you. I have something to tell you."
Eunice obeyed her noiselessly. As the pallid light shot up, it revealed the child plainly. She was thin and ill-formed—one shoulder being slightly higher than the other. She was dark, like her mother, but her features were irregular, and her hair fell in straggling, dim locks about her face. Her eyes were a dark brown, and over one was the slanting red scar of a birth mark.
Eunice followed her orders silently. As the pale light flickered on, it clearly showed the child. She was thin and awkwardly shaped—one shoulder a bit higher than the other. She had dark skin like her mother, but her features were uneven, and her hair hung in disheveled, dull strands around her face. Her eyes were a deep brown, and over one of them was a slanted red mark from a birthmark.
Naomi Holland looked at her with the contempt she had never made any pretense of concealing. The girl was bone of her bone and flesh of her flesh, but she had never loved her; all the mother love in her had been lavished on her son.
Naomi Holland looked at her with the disdain she had never bothered to hide. The girl was her own blood and flesh, but she had never loved her; all the maternal love she had was given to her son.
When Eunice had placed the candle on the shelf and drawn down the ugly blue paper blinds, shutting out the strips of violet sky where a score of glimmering points were now visible, she sat down on the foot of the bed, facing her mother.
When Eunice put the candle on the shelf and pulled down the ugly blue paper blinds, blocking out the slivers of purple sky where a bunch of shimmering points were now visible, she sat down at the foot of the bed, facing her mother.
"The door is shut, is it, Eunice?"
"The door is closed, right, Eunice?"
Eunice nodded.
Eunice agreed.
"Because I don't want Car'line or any one else peeking and harking to what I've got to say. She's out milking now, and I must make the most of the chance. Eunice, I'm going to die, and..."
"Because I don’t want Car'line or anyone else eavesdropping on what I have to say. She’s out milking right now, and I need to make the most of this opportunity. Eunice, I’m going to die, and..."
"Ma!"
"Mom!"
"There now, no taking on! You knew it had to come sometime soon. I haven't the strength to talk much, so I want you just to be quiet and listen. I ain't feeling any pain now, so I can think and talk pretty clear. Are you listening, Eunice?"
"There, now, no getting upset! You knew it had to happen sooner or later. I don't have the energy to talk much, so I just want you to be quiet and listen. I'm not in any pain right now, so I can think and speak pretty clearly. Are you listening, Eunice?"
"Yes, ma."
"Yes, mom."
"Mind you are. It's about Christopher. It hasn't been out of my mind since I laid down here. I've fought for a year to live, on his account, and it ain't any use. I must just die and leave him, and I don't know what he'll do. It's dreadful to think of."
"Just so you know. It's about Christopher. I haven't stopped thinking about him since I lay down here. I've been fighting for a year to live for him, but it’s no use. I have to just die and leave him, and I don’t know what he’ll do. It’s terrible to think about."
She paused, and struck her shrunken hand sharply against the table.
She paused and slapped her withered hand sharply against the table.
"If he was bigger and could look out for himself it wouldn't be so bad. But he is only a little fellow, and Car'line hates him. You'll both have to live with her until you're grown up. She'll put on him and abuse him. He's like his father in some ways; he's got a temper and he is stubborn. He'll never get on with Car'line. Now, Eunice, I'm going to get you to promise to take my place with Christopher when I'm dead, as far as you can. You've got to; it's your duty. But I want you to promise."
"If he were bigger and could take care of himself, it wouldn't be so bad. But he's just a little guy, and Car'line hates him. You both have to live with her until you’re grown up. She'll pick on him and mistreat him. He's like his father in some ways; he's got a temper and he's stubborn. He'll never get along with Car'line. Now, Eunice, I need you to promise me you'll take my place with Christopher when I'm gone, as much as you can. You have to; it's your duty. But I want you to promise."
"I will, ma," whispered the girl solemnly.
"I will, Mom," whispered the girl seriously.
"You haven't much force—you never had. If you was smart, you could do a lot for him. But you'll have to do your best. I want you to promise me faithfully that you'll stand by him and protect him—that you won't let people impose on him; that you'll never desert him as long as he needs you, no matter what comes. Eunice, promise me this!"
"You don’t have much strength—you never did. If you were smart, you could help him a lot. But you’ll have to give it your all. I need you to promise me that you’ll stand by him and protect him—that you won’t let anyone take advantage of him; that you’ll never abandon him as long as he needs you, no matter what happens. Eunice, promise me this!"
In her excitement the sick woman raised herself up in the bed, and clutched the girl's thin arm. Her eyes were blazing and two scarlet spots glowed in her thin cheeks.
In her excitement, the sick woman sat up in bed and grabbed the girl's thin arm. Her eyes were blazing, and two red spots glowed on her thin cheeks.
Eunice's face was white and tense. She clasped her hands as one in prayer.
Eunice's face was pale and tight. She held her hands together as if in prayer.
"Mother, I promise it!"
"Mom, I promise it!"
Naomi relaxed her grip on the girl's arm and sank back exhausted on the pillow. A death-like look came over her face as the excitement faded.
Naomi let go of the girl's arm and collapsed back onto the pillow, completely drained. A lifeless expression fell over her face as the excitement wore off.
"My mind is easier now. But if I could only have lived another year or two! And I hate Car'line—hate her! Eunice, don't you ever let her abuse my boy! If she did, or if you neglected him, I'd come back from my grave to you! As for the property, things will be pretty straight. I've seen to that. There'll be no squabbling and doing Christopher out of his rights. He's to have the farm as soon as he's old enough to work it, and he's to provide for you. And, Eunice, remember what you've promised!"
"My mind feels clearer now. But if only I could have lived another year or two! And I really can't stand Car'line—hate her! Eunice, don’t you ever let her mistreat my boy! If she does, or if you neglect him, I'll come back from my grave to haunt you! As for the property, everything will be in order. I've taken care of that. There won’t be any fighting or denying Christopher his rights. He'll get the farm as soon as he's old enough to work it, and he's supposed to take care of you. And, Eunice, remember what you promised!"
Outside, in the thickly gathering dusk, Caroline Holland and Sarah Spencer were at the dairy, straining the milk into creamers, for which Christopher was sullenly pumping water. The house was far from the road, up to which a long red lane led; across the field was the old Holland homestead where Caroline lived; her unmarried sister-in-law, Electa Holland, kept house for her while she waited on Naomi.
Outside, as dusk settled in, Caroline Holland and Sarah Spencer were at the dairy, pouring milk into creamers, while Christopher pumped water sulkily. The house was a good distance from the road, which was reached by a long red lane; across the field stood the old Holland homestead where Caroline lived. Her single sister-in-law, Electa Holland, managed the household while Caroline cared for Naomi.
It was her night to go home and sleep, but Naomi's words haunted her, although she believed they were born of pure "cantankerousness."
It was her night to go home and sleep, but Naomi's words haunted her, even though she thought they came from pure "cantankerousness."
"You'd better go in and look at her, Sarah," she said, as she rinsed out the pails. "If you think I'd better stay here to-night, I will. If the woman was like anybody else a body would know what to do; but, if she thought she could scare us by saying she was going to die, she'd say it."
"You should go in and check on her, Sarah," she said while rinsing out the buckets. "If you think I should stay here tonight, I will. If the woman were like anyone else, we would know what to do; but if she thinks she can frighten us by saying she’s going to die, she’s just saying it."
When Sarah went in, the sick room was very quiet. In her opinion, Naomi was no worse than usual, and she told Caroline so; but the latter felt vaguely uneasy and concluded to stay.
When Sarah walked in, the sick room was really quiet. In her view, Naomi was just as bad as usual, and she told Caroline that; however, the latter felt a bit uneasy and decided to stay.
Naomi was as cool and defiant as customary. She made them bring Christopher in to say good-night and had him lifted up on the bed to kiss her. Then she held him back and looked at him admiringly—at the bright curls and rosy cheeks and round, firm limbs. The boy was uncomfortable under her gaze and squirmed hastily down. Her eyes followed him greedily, as he went out. When the door closed behind him, she groaned. Sarah Spencer was startled. She had never heard Naomi Holland groan since she had come to wait on her.
Naomi was as cool and defiant as ever. She made them bring Christopher in to say good night and had him lifted onto the bed to kiss her. Then she held him back and looked at him admiringly—at his bright curls, rosy cheeks, and round, strong limbs. The boy felt uncomfortable under her gaze and quickly squirmed down. Her eyes followed him hungrily as he left. When the door closed behind him, she groaned. Sarah Spencer was taken aback. She had never heard Naomi Holland groan since she started waiting on her.
"Are you feeling any worse, Naomi? Is the pain coming back?"
"Are you feeling any worse, Naomi? Is the pain coming back?"
"No. Go and tell Car'line to give Christopher some of that grape jelly on his bread before he goes to bed. She'll find it in the cupboard under the stairs."
"No. Go tell Car'line to put some of that grape jelly on Christopher's bread before he goes to bed. She'll find it in the cupboard under the stairs."
Presently the house grew very still. Caroline had dropped asleep on the sitting-room lounge, across the hall. Sarah Spencer nodded over her knitting by the table in the sick room. She had told Eunice to go to bed, but the child refused. She still sat huddled up on the foot of the bed, watching her mother's face intently. Naomi appeared to sleep. The candle burned long, and the wick was crowned by a little cap of fiery red that seemed to watch Eunice like some impish goblin. The wavering light cast grotesque shadows of Sarah Spencer's head on the wall. The thin curtains at the window wavered to and fro, as if shaken by ghostly hands.
The house had fallen completely silent. Caroline had dozed off on the couch in the sitting room, just across the hall. Sarah Spencer was dozing over her knitting at the table in the sick room. She had told Eunice to go to bed, but the girl refused. She stayed curled up at the foot of the bed, watching her mother's face closely. Naomi appeared to be asleep. The candle burned steadily, its wick topped with a little cap of fiery red that seemed to watch Eunice like some mischievous goblin. The flickering light cast strange shadows of Sarah Spencer's head on the wall. The thin curtains at the window swayed back and forth, as if stirred by invisible hands.
At midnight Naomi Holland opened her eyes. The child she had never loved was the only one to go with her to the brink of the Unseen.
At midnight, Naomi Holland opened her eyes. The child she had never loved was the only one to accompany her to the edge of the Unseen.
"Eunice—remember!"
"Eunice—don't forget!"
It was the faintest whisper. The soul, passing over the threshold of another life, strained back to its only earthly tie. A quiver passed over the long, pallid face.
It was the softest whisper. The soul, moving into another life, reached back for its one connection to the earthly realm. A shiver ran across the long, pale face.
A horrible scream rang through the silent house. Sarah Spencer sprang out of her doze in consternation, and gazed blankly at the shrieking child. Caroline came hurrying in with distended eyes. On the bed Naomi Holland lay dead.
A terrible scream echoed through the quiet house. Sarah Spencer jolted awake in shock and stared vacantly at the screaming child. Caroline rushed in with wide eyes. On the bed, Naomi Holland lay dead.
In the room where she had died Naomi Holland lay in her coffin. It was dim and hushed; but, in the rest of the house, the preparations for the funeral were being hurried on. Through it all Eunice moved, calm and silent. Since her one wild spasm of screaming by her mother's death-bed she had shed no tear, given no sign of grief. Perhaps, as her mother had said, she had no time. There was Christopher to be looked after. The boy's grief was stormy and uncontrolled. He had cried until he was utterly exhausted. It was Eunice who soothed him, coaxed him to eat, kept him constantly by her. At night she took him to her own room and watched over him while he slept.
In the room where she had died, Naomi Holland lay in her coffin. It was dim and quiet; meanwhile, the rest of the house was bustling with funeral preparations. Through it all, Eunice moved calmly and silently. After that one wild outburst of screaming by her mother’s deathbed, she hadn’t shed a single tear or shown any signs of grief. Perhaps, as her mother had said, she didn’t have the time. There was Christopher to take care of. The boy’s grief was intense and uncontrollable. He had cried until he was completely worn out. It was Eunice who comforted him, encouraged him to eat, and kept him close by her side. At night, she brought him to her room and watched over him while he slept.
When the funeral was over the household furniture was packed away or sold. The house was locked up and the farm rented. There was nowhere for the children to go, save to their uncle's. Caroline Holland did not want them, but, having to take them, she grimly made up her mind to do what she considered her duty by them. She had five children of her own and between them and Christopher a standing feud had existed from the time he could walk.
After the funeral, the household furniture was packed up or sold. The house was locked up and the farm was rented out. The children had nowhere to go except to their uncle's. Caroline Holland didn’t really want them, but since she had to take them in, she steeled herself to do what she thought was her duty. She had five kids of her own, and there had been a constant feud between them and Christopher ever since he could walk.
She had never liked Naomi. Few people did. Benjamin Holland had not married until late in life, and his wife had declared war on his family at sight. She was a stranger in Avonlea,—a widow, with a three year-old child. She made few friends, as some people always asserted that she was not in her right mind.
She had never liked Naomi. Few people did. Benjamin Holland hadn’t married until later in life, and his wife had immediately declared war on his family. She was a newcomer in Avonlea—a widow with a three-year-old child. She didn’t make many friends, as some people always claimed that she wasn’t mentally stable.
Within a year of her second marriage Christopher was born, and from the hour of his birth his mother had worshiped him blindly. He was her only solace. For him she toiled and pinched and saved. Benjamin Holland had not been "fore-handed" when she married him; but, when he died, six years after his marriage, he was a well-to-do man.
Within a year of her second marriage, Christopher was born, and from the moment he arrived, his mother adored him without question. He was her only comfort. For him, she worked hard, cut back, and saved. Benjamin Holland hadn’t been wealthy when she married him; but by the time he died, six years later, he was doing well financially.
Naomi made no pretense of mourning for him. It was an open secret that they had quarreled like the proverbial cat and dog. Charles Holland and his wife had naturally sided with Benjamin, and Naomi fought her battles single-handed. After her husband's death, she managed to farm alone, and made it pay. When the mysterious malady which was to end her life first seized on her she fought against it with all the strength and stubbornness of her strong and stubborn nature. Her will won for her an added year of life, and then she had to yield. She tasted all the bitterness of death the day on which she lay down on her bed, and saw her enemy come in to rule her house.
Naomi showed no signs of mourning for him. It was well-known that they had fought like cats and dogs. Charles Holland and his wife had naturally sided with Benjamin, leaving Naomi to fight her battles alone. After her husband passed away, she managed to run the farm by herself and made it profitable. When the mysterious illness that would eventually take her life first struck her, she battled it with all the strength and stubbornness of her strong-willed nature. Her determination bought her an extra year of life, but eventually, she had to give in. She experienced all the bitterness of death on the day she lay down in her bed and watched her enemy come in to take over her home.
But Caroline Holland was not a bad or unkind woman. True, she did not love Naomi or her children; but the woman was dying and must be looked after for the sake of common humanity. Caroline thought she had done well by her sister-in-law.
But Caroline Holland wasn’t a bad or unkind woman. Sure, she didn’t love Naomi or her kids; but the woman was dying and needed care for the sake of basic human decency. Caroline believed she had treated her sister-in-law well.
When the red clay was heaped over Naomi's grave in the Avonlea burying ground, Caroline took Eunice and Christopher home with her. Christopher did not want to go; it was Eunice who reconciled him. He clung to her with an exacting affection born of loneliness and grief.
When the red clay was piled on Naomi's grave in the Avonlea cemetery, Caroline took Eunice and Christopher back to her place. Christopher didn’t want to leave; it was Eunice who convinced him. He held onto her with a desperate love that came from his loneliness and sorrow.
In the days that followed Caroline Holland was obliged to confess to herself that there would have been no doing anything with Christopher had it not been for Eunice. The boy was sullen and obstinate, but his sister had an unfailing influence over him.
In the days that followed, Caroline Holland had to admit to herself that she wouldn't have been able to handle Christopher without Eunice. The boy was moody and stubborn, but his sister had a constant influence on him.
In Charles Holland's household no one was allowed to eat the bread of idleness. His own children were all girls, and Christopher came in handy as a chore boy. He was made to work—perhaps too hard. But Eunice helped him, and did half his work for him when nobody knew. When he quarreled with his cousins, she took his part; whenever possible she took on herself the blame and punishment of his misdeeds.
In Charles Holland's household, no one was allowed to be lazy. His kids were all girls, and Christopher was there to help with chores. He had to work—maybe even too hard. But Eunice supported him and did half his work when no one was watching. When he had fights with his cousins, she stood up for him; whenever she could, she took the blame and punishment for his mistakes.
Electa Holland was Charles' unmarried sister. She had kept house for Benjamin until he married; then Naomi had bundled her out. Electa had never forgiven her for it. Her hatred passed on to Naomi's children. In a hundred petty ways she revenged herself on them. For herself, Eunice bore it patiently; but it was a different matter when it touched Christopher.
Electa Holland was Charles' unmarried sister. She had taken care of the household for Benjamin until he got married; then Naomi had kicked her out. Electa had never forgiven her for that. Her resentment extended to Naomi's kids. In a hundred small ways, she got back at them. Eunice endured it quietly for her own sake; but when it came to Christopher, it was a different story.
Once Electa boxed Christopher's ears. Eunice, who was knitting by the table, stood up. A resemblance to her mother, never before visible, came out in her face like a brand. She lifted her hand and slapped Electa's cheek deliberately twice, leaving a dull red mark where she struck.
Once Electa boxed Christopher's ears. Eunice, who was knitting by the table, stood up. A resemblance to her mother, never before visible, suddenly appeared on her face like a brand. She lifted her hand and slapped Electa's cheek deliberately twice, leaving a dull red mark where she struck.
"If you ever strike my brother again," she said, slowly and vindictively, "I will slap your face every time you do. You have no right to touch him."
"If you ever hit my brother again," she said, slowly and with a sense of revenge, "I will slap your face every single time you do. You have no right to hurt him."
"My patience, what a fury!" said Electa. "Naomi Holland'll never be dead as long as you're alive!"
"My patience, what a rage!" said Electa. "Naomi Holland will never be dead as long as you're alive!"
She told Charles of the affair and Eunice was severely punished. But Electa never interfered with Christopher again.
She told Charles about the affair, and Eunice faced harsh consequences. But Electa never bothered Christopher again.
All the discordant elements in the Holland household could not prevent the children from growing up. It was a consummation which the harrassed Caroline devoutly wished. When Christopher Holland was seventeen he was a man grown—a big, strapping fellow. His childish beauty had coarsened, but he was thought handsome by many.
All the conflicting elements in the Holland household couldn't stop the children from growing up. It was a goal that the stressed Caroline sincerely hoped for. When Christopher Holland turned seventeen, he was fully grown—a tall, muscular guy. His youthful looks had changed, but many still considered him handsome.
He took charge of his mother's farm then, and the brother and sister began their new life together in the long-unoccupied house. There were few regrets on either side when they left Charles Holland's roof. In her secret heart Eunice felt an unspeakable relief.
He took over his mother's farm then, and the brother and sister started their new life together in the long-empty house. Neither of them had many regrets when they left Charles Holland’s place. In her heart, Eunice felt an indescribable relief.
Christopher had been "hard to manage," as his uncle said, in the last year. He was getting into the habit of keeping late hours and doubtful company. This always provoked an explosion of wrath from Charles Holland, and the conflicts between him and his nephew were frequent and bitter.
Christopher had been "hard to manage," as his uncle put it, over the past year. He was getting into the habit of staying up late and hanging out with questionable people. This always triggered an outburst of anger from Charles Holland, and the clashes between him and his nephew were common and intense.
For four years after their return home Eunice had a hard and anxious life. Christopher was idle and dissipated. Most people regarded him as a worthless fellow, and his uncle washed his hands of him utterly. Only Eunice never failed him; she never reproached or railed; she worked like a slave to keep things together. Eventually her patience prevailed. Christopher, to a great extent, reformed and worked harder. He was never unkind to Eunice, even in his rages. It was not in him to appreciate or return her devotion; but his tolerant acceptance of it was her solace.
For four years after they got back home, Eunice had a tough and anxious life. Christopher was lazy and reckless. Most people thought he was a waste of space, and his uncle completely gave up on him. Only Eunice stood by him; she never blamed or yelled at him; she worked tirelessly to keep everything from falling apart. Eventually, her patience paid off. Christopher, to a large extent, changed and worked harder. He was never cruel to Eunice, even when he was angry. He couldn't appreciate or reciprocate her loyalty, but his accepting attitude towards it was her comfort.
When Eunice was twenty-eight, Edward Bell wanted to marry her. He was a plain, middle-aged widower with four children; but, as Caroline did not fail to remind her, Eunice herself was not for every market, and the former did her best to make the match. She might have succeeded had it not been for Christopher. When he, in spite of Caroline's skillful management, got an inkling of what was going on, he flew into a true Holland rage. If Eunice married and left him—he would sell the farm and go to the Devil by way of the Klondike. He could not, and would not, do without her. No arrangement suggested by Caroline availed to pacify him, and, in the end, Eunice refused to marry Edward Bell. She could not leave Christopher, she said simply, and in this she stood rock-firm. Caroline could not budge her an inch.
When Eunice was twenty-eight, Edward Bell wanted to marry her. He was an ordinary, middle-aged widower with four kids; but, as Caroline was quick to remind her, Eunice herself wasn’t exactly the catch of the day, and the former did her best to make the match happen. She might have succeeded if it hadn't been for Christopher. When he, despite Caroline's clever tactics, caught wind of what was happening, he erupted in a rage. If Eunice married and left him—he would sell the farm and throw himself into a life of chaos, maybe even head to the Klondike. He couldn’t, and wouldn’t, live without her. No plan that Caroline suggested could calm him down, and in the end, Eunice turned down Edward Bell's proposal. She simply stated she couldn’t leave Christopher, and she stood firm on that. Caroline couldn’t change her mind one bit.
"You're a fool, Eunice," she said, when she was obliged to give up in despair. "It's not likely you'll ever have another chance. As for Chris, in a year or two he'll be marrying himself, and where will you be then? You'll find your nose nicely out of joint when he brings a wife in here."
"You're an idiot, Eunice," she said, when she was forced to give up in frustration. "It's unlikely you'll ever get another shot at this. As for Chris, in a year or two, he'll be getting married, and where will you be then? You'll find yourself really upset when he brings a wife in here."
The shaft went home. Eunice's lips turned white. But she said, faintly, "The house is big enough for us both, if he does."
The shaft went home. Eunice's lips turned pale. But she said, softly, "The house is big enough for both of us, if he does."
Caroline sniffed.
Caroline sniffed.
"Maybe so. You'll find out. However, there's no use talking. You're as set as your mother was, and nothing would ever budge her an inch. I only hope you won't be sorry for it."
"Maybe. You'll see. But there's no point in talking. You're as stubborn as your mother was, and nothing could ever change her mind. I just hope you won't regret it."
When three more years had passed Christopher began to court Victoria Pye. The affair went on for some time before either Eunice or the Hollands go wind of it. When they did there was an explosion. Between the Hollands and the Pyes, root and branch, existed a feud that dated back for three generations. That the original cause of the quarrel was totally forgotten did not matter; it was matter of family pride that a Holland should have no dealings with a Pye.
When three more years had passed, Christopher began to date Victoria Pye. The relationship went on for a while before either Eunice or the Hollands caught wind of it. When they did, there was an explosion. Between the Hollands and the Pyes, there was a longstanding feud that stretched back three generations. It didn’t matter that the original reason for the quarrel was completely forgotten; it was a matter of family pride that a Holland should have no dealings with a Pye.
When Christopher flew so openly in the face of this cherished hatred, there could be nothing less than consternation. Charles Holland broke through his determination to have nothing to do with Christopher, to remonstrate. Caroline went to Eunice in as much of a splutter as if Christopher had been her own brother.
When Christopher boldly faced this deep-seated hatred, it caused nothing less than shock. Charles Holland set aside his resolve to steer clear of Christopher and decided to protest. Caroline rushed to Eunice, flustered as if Christopher were her own brother.
Eunice did not care a row of pins for the Holland-Pye feud. Victoria was to her what any other girl, upon whom Christopher cast eyes of love, would have been—a supplanter. For the first time in her life she was torn with passionate jealousy; existence became a nightmare to her. Urged on by Caroline, and her own pain, she ventured to remonstrate with Christopher, also. She had expected a burst of rage, but he was surprisingly good-natured. He seemed even amused.
Eunice didn’t care at all about the Holland-Pye feud. Victoria was to her what any other girl Christopher fell in love with would have been—a rival. For the first time in her life, she was filled with intense jealousy; life felt like a nightmare. Spurred on by Caroline and her own suffering, she dared to confront Christopher too. She expected him to explode in anger, but he was surprisingly easygoing. He even seemed amused.
"What have you got against Victoria?" he asked, tolerantly.
"What do you have against Victoria?" he asked, patiently.
Eunice had no answer ready. It was true that nothing could be said against the girl. She felt helpless and baffled. Christopher laughed at her silence.
Eunice had no response prepared. It was true that nothing could be said against the girl. She felt powerless and confused. Christopher laughed at her silence.
"I guess you're a little jealous," he said. "You must have expected I would get married some time. This house is big enough for us all. You'd better look at the matter sensibly, Eunice. Don't let Charles and Caroline put nonsense into your head. A man must marry to please himself."
"I guess you're a bit jealous," he said. "You must have thought I would get married eventually. This house is big enough for all of us. You should think about this logically, Eunice. Don’t let Charles and Caroline fill your head with nonsense. A man needs to marry to make himself happy."
Christopher was out late that night. Eunice waited up for him, as she always did. It was a chilly spring evening, reminding her of the night her mother had died. The kitchen was in spotless order, and she sat down on a stiff-backed chair by the window to wait for her brother.
Christopher was out late that night. Eunice stayed up for him, as she always did. It was a cold spring evening, reminding her of the night her mother had passed away. The kitchen was spotless, and she sat down on a hard-backed chair by the window to wait for her brother.
She did not want a light. The moonlight fell in with faint illumination. Outside, the wind was blowing over a bed of new-sprung mint in the garden, and was suggestively fragrant. It was a very old-fashioned garden, full of perennials Naomi Holland had planted long ago. Eunice always kept it primly neat. She had been working in it that day, and felt tired.
She didn't want a light. The moonlight provided a soft glow. Outside, the wind blew over a patch of fresh mint in the garden, filling the air with a pleasant scent. It was an old-fashioned garden, filled with perennials that Naomi Holland had planted years ago. Eunice always kept it neatly trimmed. She had been working in it all day and felt worn out.
She was all alone in the house and the loneliness filled her with a faint dread. She had tried all that day to reconcile herself to Christopher's marriage, and had partially succeeded. She told herself that she could still watch over him and care for his comfort. She would even try to love Victoria; after all, it might be pleasant to have another woman in the house. So, sitting there, she fed her hungry soul with these husks of comfort.
She was completely alone in the house, and the loneliness wrapped around her like a faint dread. She had spent the whole day trying to come to terms with Christopher's marriage, and she had made some progress. She kept telling herself that she could still look out for him and ensure he was comfortable. She would even try to like Victoria; after all, having another woman around could be nice. So, sitting there, she filled her aching soul with these empty words of comfort.
When she heard Christopher's step she moved about quickly to get a light. He frowned when he saw her; he had always resented her sitting up for him. He sat down by the stove and took off his boots, while Eunice got a lunch for him. After he had eaten it in silence he made no move to go to bed. A chill, premonitory fear crept over Eunice. It did not surprise her at all when Christopher finally said, abruptly, "Eunice, I've a notion to get married this spring."
When she heard Christopher's footsteps, she quickly moved to get a light. He frowned when he saw her; he had always disliked her waiting up for him. He sat down by the stove and took off his boots while Eunice prepared a late-night snack for him. After he ate in silence, he made no move to go to bed. A cold, uneasy feeling washed over Eunice. It didn't surprise her at all when Christopher finally said, out of nowhere, "Eunice, I think I want to get married this spring."
Eunice clasped her hands together under the table. It was what she had been expecting. She said so, in a monotonous voice.
Eunice clasped her hands together under the table. It was what she had been expecting. She said this in a flat tone.
"We must make some arrangement for—for you, Eunice," Christopher went on, in a hurried, hesitant way, keeping his eyes riveted doggedly on his plate. "Victoria doesn't exactly like—well, she thinks it's better for young married folks to begin life by themselves, and I guess she's about right. You wouldn't find it comfortable, anyhow, having to step back to second place after being mistress here so long."
"We need to figure something out for you, Eunice," Christopher said quickly, hesitating as he kept his gaze fixed intently on his plate. "Victoria isn't really a fan of—well, she believes it's best for newlyweds to start their lives on their own, and I think she's probably right. It wouldn't be easy for you to go from being in charge here for so long to taking a backseat again."
Eunice tried to speak, but only an indistinct murmur came from her bloodless lips. The sound made Christopher look up. Something in her face irritated him. He pushed back his chair impatiently.
Eunice tried to speak, but only a faint murmur escaped her pale lips. The sound caught Christopher's attention. There was something about her expression that annoyed him. He pushed back his chair with irritation.
"Now, Eunice, don't go taking on. It won't be any use. Look at this business in a sensible way. I'm fond of you, and all that, but a man is bound to consider his wife first. I'll provide for you comfortably."
"Now, Eunice, don't get upset. It won't help anything. Look at this situation rationally. I care about you, but a man has to prioritize his wife. I’ll make sure you’re taken care of."
"Do you mean to say that your wife is going to turn me out?" Eunice gasped, rather than spoke, the words.
"Are you saying that your wife is going to kick me out?" Eunice gasped, rather than spoke, the words.
Christopher drew his reddish brows together.
Christopher frowned, bringing his reddish eyebrows together.
"I just mean that Victoria says she won't marry me if she has to live with you. She's afraid of you. I told her you wouldn't interfere with her, but she wasn't satisfied. It's your own fault, Eunice. You've always been so queer and close that people think you're an awful crank. Victoria's young and lively, and you and she wouldn't get on at all. There isn't any question of turning you out. I'll build a little house for you somewhere, and you'll be a great deal better off there than you would be here. So don't make a fuss."
"I just mean that Victoria says she won't marry me if she has to live with you. She's scared of you. I told her you wouldn't bother her, but she wasn't convinced. This is your own doing, Eunice. You've always been so strange and distant that people think you're a complete weirdo. Victoria's young and full of life, and you two wouldn’t get along at all. There's no question of kicking you out. I'll build a small house for you somewhere, and you'd be much better off there than you would be here. So don't make a scene."
Eunice did not look as if she were going to make a fuss. She sat as if turned to stone, her hands lying palm upward in her lap. Christopher got up, hugely relieved that the dreaded explanation was over.
Eunice didn’t look like she was going to cause a scene. She sat there as if turned to stone, her hands resting palm-up in her lap. Christopher stood up, feeling greatly relieved that the dreaded explanation was finally over.
"Guess I'll go to bed. You'd better have gone long ago. It's all nonsense, this waiting up for me."
"Looks like I'm heading to bed. You should have gone a while ago. It's all silly, this waiting up for me."
When he had gone Eunice drew a long, sobbing breath and looked about her like a dazed soul. All the sorrow of her life was as nothing to the desolation that assailed her now.
When he left, Eunice took a deep, shaky breath and looked around like someone in shock. All the sadness she had felt in her life was nothing compared to the emptiness that overwhelmed her now.
She rose and, with uncertain footsteps, passed out through the hall and into the room where her mother died. She had always kept it locked and undisturbed; it was arranged just as Naomi Holland had left it. Eunice tottered to the bed and sat down on it.
She got up and, with shaky steps, walked through the hallway and into the room where her mother passed away. She had always kept it locked and untouched; it looked exactly like Naomi Holland had left it. Eunice wobbled over to the bed and sat down on it.
She recalled the promise she had made to her mother in that very room. Was the power to keep it to be wrested from her? Was she to be driven from her home and parted from the only creature she had on earth to love? And would Christopher allow it, after all her sacrifices for him? Aye, that he would! He cared more for that black-eyed, waxen-faced girl at the old Pye place than for his own kin. Eunice put her hands over her dry, burning eyes and groaned aloud.
She remembered the promise she had made to her mom in that very room. Was she really going to lose the ability to keep it? Was she going to be forced out of her home and separated from the only person she had to love in the world? And would Christopher let that happen after everything she had done for him? Yes, he absolutely would! He cared more about that dark-eyed girl with the waxy face at the old Pye place than he did for his own family. Eunice covered her dry, burning eyes with her hands and groaned loudly.
Caroline Holland had her hour of triumph over Eunice when she heard it all. To one of her nature there was no pleasure so sweet as that of saying, "I told you so." Having said it, however, she offered Eunice a home. Electa Holland was dead, and Eunice might fill her place very acceptably, if she would.
Caroline Holland had her moment of victory over Eunice when she heard everything. For someone like her, there was no joy as satisfying as saying, "I told you so." After saying it, though, she offered Eunice a place to stay. Electa Holland was gone, and Eunice could take her spot very well, if she wanted to.
"You can't go off and live by yourself," Caroline told her. "It's all nonsense to talk of such a thing. We will give you a home, if Christopher is going to turn you out. You were always a fool, Eunice, to pet and pamper him as you've done. This is the thanks you get for it—turned out like a dog for his fine wife's whim! I only wish your mother was alive!"
"You can't just run off and live on your own," Caroline said to her. "It's ridiculous to even think about that. We will give you a place to stay if Christopher is going to kick you out. You’ve always been silly, Eunice, for spoiling him like you have. This is the thanks you get—getting tossed out like a dog because of his fancy wife's mood! I just wish your mother were still alive!"
It was probably the first time Caroline had ever wished this. She had flown at Christopher like a fury about the matter, and had been rudely insulted for her pains. Christopher had told her to mind her own business.
It was probably the first time Caroline had ever wished for this. She had confronted Christopher angrily about the issue and had been harshly insulted for her trouble. Christopher had told her to mind her own business.
When Caroline cooled down she made some arrangements with him, to all of which Eunice listlessly assented. She did not care what became of her. When Christopher Holland brought Victoria as mistress to the house where his mother had toiled, and suffered, and ruled with her rod of iron, Eunice was gone. In Charles Holland's household she took Electa's place—an unpaid upper servant.
When Caroline calmed down, she made some plans with him, to which Eunice apathetically agreed. She didn’t care what happened to her. When Christopher Holland brought Victoria as the lady of the house where his mother had worked hard, endured struggles, and ruled with an iron fist, Eunice was no longer there. In Charles Holland's household, she took Electa's position—an unpaid upper servant.
Charles and Caroline were kind enough to her, and there was plenty to do. For five years her dull, colorless life went on, during which time she never crossed the threshold of the house where Victoria Holland ruled with a sway as absolute as Naomi's had been. Caroline's curiosity led her, after her first anger had cooled, to make occasional calls, the observations of which she faithfully reported to Eunice. The latter never betrayed any interest in them, save once. This was when Caroline came home full of the news that Victoria had had the room where Naomi died opened up, and showily furnished as a parlor. Then Eunice's sallow face crimsoned, and her eyes flashed, over the desecration. But no word of comment or complaint ever crossed her lips.
Charles and Caroline were nice to her, and there was a lot to keep her busy. For five years, her dull, colorless life continued, during which she never stepped outside the house where Victoria Holland held power as firmly as Naomi had. Caroline's curiosity led her, after her initial anger faded, to make occasional visits, the details of which she reported back to Eunice. Eunice never showed any interest in them, except for one time. This was when Caroline came home excited with the news that Victoria had opened up the room where Naomi died and decorated it stylishly as a parlor. Eunice's pale face flushed red, and her eyes sparked with anger over the disrespect. However, not a single word of comment or complaint ever left her lips.
She knew, as every one else knew, that the glamor soon went from Christopher Holland's married life. The marriage proved an unhappy one. Not unnaturally, although unjustly, Eunice blamed Victoria for this, and hated her more than ever for it.
She knew, like everyone else did, that the excitement quickly faded from Christopher Holland's married life. The marriage turned out to be an unhappy one. Not surprisingly, though unfairly, Eunice blamed Victoria for this and hated her more than ever because of it.
Christopher seldom came to Charles' house. Possibly he felt ashamed. He had grown into a morose, silent man, at home and abroad. It was said he had gone back to his old drinking habits.
Christopher rarely visited Charles' house. Maybe he felt embarrassed. He had become a gloomy, quiet person, both at home and in public. People said he had returned to his old drinking habits.
One fall Victoria Holland went to town to visit her married sister. She took their only child with her. In her absence Christopher kept house for himself.
One autumn, Victoria Holland went to town to visit her sister who was married. She took their only child with her. While she was away, Christopher managed the household by himself.
It was a fall long remembered in Avonlea. With the dropping of the leaves, and the shortening of the dreary days, the shadow of a fear fell over the land. Charles Holland brought the fateful news home one night.
It was a fall that everyone in Avonlea would remember. As the leaves fell and the days grew shorter and gloomier, a sense of fear hung over the area. One night, Charles Holland brought home the troubling news.
"There's smallpox in Charlottetown—five or six cases. Came in one of the vessels. There was a concert, and a sailor from one of the ships was there, and took sick the next day."
"There's smallpox in Charlottetown—about five or six cases. It arrived on one of the ships. There was a concert, and a sailor from one of the vessels was there and got sick the next day."
This was alarming enough. Charlottetown was not so very far away and considerable traffic went on between it and the north shore districts.
This was pretty concerning. Charlottetown wasn't that far away, and there was a lot of traffic between it and the north shore areas.
When Caroline recounted the concert story to Christopher the next morning his ruddy face turned quite pale. He opened his lips as if to speak, then closed them again. They were sitting in the kitchen; Caroline had run over to return some tea she had borrowed, and, incidentally, to see what she could of Victoria's housekeeping in her absence. Her eyes had been busy while her tongue ran on, so she did not notice the man's pallor and silence.
When Caroline told Christopher about the concert the next morning, his rosy face went completely pale. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then shut it again. They were sitting in the kitchen; Caroline had popped by to return some tea she had borrowed and to check out how Victoria was managing the house while she was away. Her eyes were focused on everything around her as she chatted, so she didn't notice the man’s pale complexion and quietness.
"How long does it take for smallpox to develop after one has been exposed to it?" he asked abruptly, when Caroline rose to go.
"How long does it take for smallpox to develop after someone has been exposed to it?" he asked suddenly, as Caroline got up to leave.
"Ten to fourteen days, I calc'late," was her answer. "I must see about having the girls vaccinated right off. It'll likely spread. When do you expect Victoria home?"
"Ten to fourteen days, I estimate," was her reply. "I need to make sure the girls get vaccinated right away. It’s probably going to spread. When do you expect Victoria to be back home?"
"When she's ready to come, whenever that will be," was the gruff response.
"When she’s ready to come, whenever that is," was the gruff reply.
A week later Caroline said to Eunice, "Whatever's got Christopher? He hasn't been out anywhere for ages—just hangs round home the whole time. It's something new for him. I s'pose the place is so quiet, now Madam Victoria's away, that he can find some rest for his soul. I believe I'll run over after milking and see how he's getting on. You might as well come, too, Eunice."
A week later, Caroline said to Eunice, "What’s up with Christopher? He hasn’t gone out anywhere in ages—just stays home all the time. This is different for him. I guess the place is so quiet now that Madam Victoria's away that he can finally find some peace. I think I’ll go check on him after milking. You might as well come too, Eunice."
Eunice shook her head. She had all her mother's obstinacy, and darken Victoria's door she would not. She went on patiently darning socks, sitting at the west window, which was her favorite position—perhaps because she could look from it across the sloping field and past the crescent curve of maple grove to her lost home.
Eunice shook her head. She had all her mother's stubbornness and wouldn’t darken Victoria's door. She continued patiently darning socks, sitting at the west window, which was her favorite spot—maybe because she could look out across the sloping field and past the curved line of the maple grove to her lost home.
After milking, Caroline threw a shawl over her head and ran across the field. The house looked lonely and deserted. As she fumbled at the latch of the gate the kitchen door opened, and Christopher Holland appeared on the threshold.
After milking, Caroline tossed a shawl over her head and sprinted across the field. The house looked empty and abandoned. As she struggled with the latch of the gate, the kitchen door opened, and Christopher Holland stepped out onto the threshold.
"Don't come any farther," he called.
"Don't come any closer," he called.
Caroline fell back in blank astonishment. Was this some more of Victoria's work?
Caroline leaned back in stunned disbelief. Was this just another one of Victoria's tricks?
"I ain't an agent for the smallpox," she called back viciously.
"I’m not a smallpox agent," she called back fiercely.
Christopher did not heed her.
Christopher ignored her.
"Will you go home and ask uncle if he'll go, or send for Doctor Spencer? He's the smallpox doctor. I'm sick."
"Will you go home and ask Uncle if he’ll come, or send for Dr. Spencer? He’s the smallpox doctor. I’m not feeling well."
Caroline felt a thrill of dismay and fear. She faltered a few steps backward.
Caroline felt a rush of panic and fear. She took a few steps back hesitantly.
"Sick? What's the matter with you?"
"Feeling sick? What’s wrong?"
"I was in Charlottetown that night, and went to the concert. That sailor sat right beside me. I thought at the time he looked sick. It was just twelve days ago. I've felt bad all day yesterday and to-day. Send for the doctor. Don't come near the house, or let any one else come near."
"I was in Charlottetown that night and went to the concert. That sailor sat right next to me. I thought he looked unwell at the time. It was just twelve days ago. I've felt terrible all day yesterday and today. Call the doctor. Don't come near the house, or let anyone else come near."
He went in and shut the door. Caroline stood for a few moments in an almost ludicrous panic. Then she turned and ran, as if for her life, across the field. Eunice saw her coming and met her at the door.
He went in and shut the door. Caroline stood for a few moments in an almost ridiculous panic. Then she turned and ran, as if for her life, across the field. Eunice saw her coming and met her at the door.
"Mercy on us!" gasped Caroline. "Christopher's sick and he thinks he's got the smallpox. Where's Charles?"
"Help us!" gasped Caroline. "Christopher's sick and he thinks he has smallpox. Where's Charles?"
Eunice tottered back against the door. Her hand went up to her side in a way that had been getting very common with her of late. Even in the midst of her excitement Caroline noticed it.
Eunice stumbled back against the door. She raised her hand to her side in a way that had become very familiar to her lately. Even in the middle of her excitement, Caroline noticed it.
"Eunice, what makes you do that every time anything startles you?" she asked sharply. "Is it anything about your heart?"
"Eunice, why do you do that every time something surprises you?" she asked sharply. "Is it something related to your heart?"
"I don't—know. A little pain—it's gone now. Did you say that Christopher has—the smallpox?"
"I don’t know. A little pain—it’s gone now. Did you say that Christopher has—smallpox?"
"Well, he says so himself, and it's more than likely, considering the circumstances. I declare, I never got such a turn in my life. It's a dreadful thing. I must find Charles at once—there'll be a hundred things to do."
"Well, he says so himself, and it’s pretty likely, given the circumstances. Honestly, I’ve never been so shocked in my life. It’s terrible. I need to find Charles right away—there are a hundred things to take care of."
Eunice hardly heard her. Her mind was centered upon one idea. Christopher was ill—alone—she must go to him. It did not matter what his disease was. When Caroline came in from her breathless expedition to the barn, she found Eunice standing by the table, with her hat and shawl on, tying up a parcel.
Eunice barely heard her. Her thoughts were focused on one thing: Christopher was sick and alone—she needed to go to him. It didn’t matter what illness he had. When Caroline returned from her hurried trip to the barn, she found Eunice standing by the table, wearing her hat and shawl, wrapping up a package.
"Eunice! Where on earth are you going?"
"Eunice! Where on earth are you headed?"
"Over home," said Eunice. "If Christopher is going to be ill he must be nursed, and I'm the one to do it. He ought to be seen to right away."
"At home," Eunice said. "If Christopher is going to be sick, he needs to be taken care of, and I’m the one who will do it. He should be looked at immediately."
"Eunice Carr! Have you gone clean out of your senses? It's the smallpox—the smallpox! If he's got it he'll have to be taken to the smallpox hospital in town. You shan't stir a step to go to that house!"
"Eunice Carr! Have you completely lost your mind? It's smallpox—the smallpox! If he has it, he'll need to be taken to the smallpox hospital in town. You are not going anywhere near that house!"
"I will." Eunice faced her excited aunt quietly. The odd resemblance to her mother, which only came out in moments of great tension, was plainly visible. "He shan't go to the hospital—they never get proper attention there. You needn't try to stop me. It won't put you or your family in any danger."
"I will." Eunice looked at her excited aunt calmly. The strange similarity to her mother, which only showed up in times of high tension, was clearly noticeable. "He's not going to the hospital—they never get proper care there. You don't need to try to stop me. It won't put you or your family at any risk."
Caroline fell helplessly into a chair. She felt that it would be of no use to argue with a woman so determined. She wished Charles was there. But Charles had already gone, post-haste, for the doctor.
Caroline sank helplessly into a chair. She realized that arguing with such a determined woman would be pointless. She wished Charles was there. But Charles had already rushed off to get the doctor.
With a firm step, Eunice went across the field foot-path she had not trodden for so long. She felt no fear—rather a sort of elation. Christopher needed her once more; the interloper who had come between them was not there. As she walked through the frosty twilight she thought of the promise made to Naomi Holland, years ago.
With a determined stride, Eunice crossed the footpath in the field that she hadn't walked on in a long time. She felt no fear—instead, a sense of excitement. Christopher needed her again; the outsider who had come between them was gone. As she walked through the chilly dusk, she recalled the promise she made to Naomi Holland years ago.
Christopher saw her coming and waved her back.
Christopher saw her approaching and waved her over.
"Don't come any nearer, Eunice. Didn't Caroline tell you? I'm taking smallpox."
"Don't come any closer, Eunice. Didn't Caroline tell you? I have smallpox."
Eunice did not pause. She went boldly through the yard and up the porch steps. He retreated before her and held the door.
Eunice didn't hesitate. She confidently walked through the yard and up the porch steps. He stepped back in front of her and held the door open.
"Eunice, you're crazy, girl! Go home, before it's too late."
"Eunice, you're losing it, girl! Go home before it gets too late."
Eunice pushed open the door resolutely and went in.
Eunice pushed the door open confidently and walked in.
"It's too late now. I'm here, and I mean to stay and nurse you, if it's the smallpox you've got. Maybe it's not. Just now, when a person has a finger-ache, he thinks it's smallpox. Anyhow, whatever it is, you ought to be in bed and looked after. You'll catch cold. Let me get a light and have a look at you."
"It's too late now. I'm here, and I plan to stay and take care of you if you have smallpox. Maybe you don't. Right now, if someone has a sore finger, they think it’s smallpox. Anyway, whatever it is, you should be in bed and taken care of. You’ll catch a cold. Let me get a light and check on you."
Christopher had sunk into a chair. His natural selfishness reasserted itself, and he made no further effort to dissuade Eunice. She got a lamp and set it on the table by him, while she scrutinized his face closely.
Christopher had slumped into a chair. His instinctive selfishness kicked in again, and he didn’t try to talk Eunice out of it anymore. She grabbed a lamp and placed it on the table next to him while she examined his face intently.
"You look feverish. What do you feel like? When did you take sick?"
"You look really sick. How are you feeling? When did you get sick?"
"Yesterday afternoon. I have chills and hot spells and pains in my back. Eunice, do you think it's really smallpox? And will I die?"
"Yesterday afternoon. I have chills, hot flashes, and pain in my back. Eunice, do you think it could really be smallpox? Am I going to die?"
He caught her hands, and looked imploringly up at her, as a child might have done. Eunice felt a wave of love and tenderness sweep warmly over her starved heart.
He grasped her hands and looked up at her with pleading eyes, just like a child would. Eunice felt a rush of love and tenderness wash over her empty heart.
"Don't worry. Lots of people recover from smallpox if they're properly nursed, and you'll be that, for I'll see to it. Charles has gone for the doctor, and we'll know when he comes. You must go straight to bed."
"Don't worry. Many people recover from smallpox if they're taken care of properly, and you'll be taken care of because I’ll make sure of it. Charles has gone to get the doctor, and we'll know when he arrives. You need to go straight to bed."
She took off her hat and shawl, and hung them up. She felt as much at home as if she had never been away. She had got back to her kingdom, and there was none to dispute it with her. When Dr. Spencer and old Giles Blewett, who had had smallpox in his youth, came, two hours later, they found Eunice in serene charge. The house was in order and reeking of disinfectants. Victoria's fine furniture and fixings were being bundled out of the parlor. There was no bedroom downstairs, and, if Christopher was going to be ill, he must be installed there.
She took off her hat and shawl and hung them up. She felt as at home as if she had never left. She was back in her kingdom, and no one could challenge her. When Dr. Spencer and old Giles Blewett, who had had smallpox in his youth, arrived two hours later, they found Eunice calmly in charge. The house was orderly and smelled strongly of disinfectants. Victoria's beautiful furniture and décor were being packed up from the parlor. There was no bedroom downstairs, and if Christopher was going to be sick, he had to be set up there.
The doctor looked grave.
The doctor looked serious.
"I don't like it," he said, "but I'm not quite sure yet. If it is smallpox the eruption will probably be out by morning. I must admit he has most of the symptoms. Will you have him taken to the hospital?"
"I don't like it," he said, "but I'm not really sure yet. If it is smallpox, the rash will probably appear by morning. I have to admit he has most of the symptoms. Can you get him to the hospital?"
"No," said Eunice, decisively. "I'll nurse him myself. I'm not afraid and I'm well and strong."
"No," Eunice said firmly. "I'll take care of him myself. I'm not scared, and I'm healthy and strong."
"Very well. You've been vaccinated lately?"
"Alright. Have you been vaccinated recently?"
"Yes."
Yes.
"Well, nothing more can be done at present. You may as well lie down for a while and save your strength."
"Well, there’s nothing more to be done right now. You might as well lie down for a bit and conserve your energy."
But Eunice could not do that. There was too much to attend to. She went out to the hall and threw up the window. Down below, at a safe distance, Charles Holland was waiting. The cold wind blew up to Eunice the odor of the disinfectants with which he had steeped himself.
But Eunice couldn't do that. There was too much to take care of. She went out to the hall and opened the window. Down below, at a safe distance, Charles Holland was waiting. The cold wind carried up to Eunice the smell of the disinfectants he had soaked himself in.
"What does the doctor say?" he shouted.
"What does the doctor say?" he yelled.
"He thinks it's the smallpox. Have you sent word to Victoria?"
"He thinks it's smallpox. Have you contacted Victoria?"
"Yes, Jim Blewett drove into town and told her. She'll stay with her sister till it is over. Of course it's the best thing for her to do. She's terribly frightened."
"Yeah, Jim Blewett drove into town and told her. She'll stay with her sister until this is all over. Of course, it's the best thing for her to do. She's really scared."
Eunice's lip curled contemptuously. To her, a wife who could desert her husband, no matter what disease he had, was an incomprehensible creature. But it was better so; she would have Christopher all to herself.
Eunice's lip curled in disdain. To her, a wife who could abandon her husband, regardless of his illness, was an unimaginable person. But it was better this way; she would have Christopher all to herself.
The night was long and wearisome, but the morning came all too soon for the dread certainty it brought. The doctor pronounced the case smallpox. Eunice had hoped against hope, but now, knowing the worst, she was very calm and resolute.
The night was long and exhausting, but morning arrived way too quickly for the terrifying reality it brought. The doctor confirmed it was smallpox. Eunice had held on to hope, but now, faced with the truth, she felt very calm and determined.
By noon the fateful yellow flag was flying over the house, and all arrangements had been made. Caroline was to do the necessary cooking, and Charles was to bring the food and leave it in the yard. Old Giles Blewett was to come every day and attend to the stock, as well as help Eunice with the sick man; and the long, hard fight with death began.
By noon, the important yellow flag was raised over the house, and everything was set. Caroline would handle the cooking, while Charles was to bring the food and drop it off in the yard. Old Giles Blewett would come every day to take care of the livestock and assist Eunice with the sick man, and the long, tough battle against death began.
It was a hard fight, indeed. Christopher Holland, in the clutches of the loathsome disease, was an object from which his nearest and dearest might have been pardoned for shrinking. But Eunice never faltered; she never left her post. Sometimes she dozed in a chair by the bed, but she never lay down. Her endurance was something wonderful, her patience and tenderness almost superhuman. To and fro she went, in noiseless ministry, as the long, dreadful days wore away, with a quiet smile on her lips, and in her dark, sorrowful eyes the rapt look of a pictured saint in some dim cathedral niche. For her there was no world outside the bare room where lay the repulsive object she loved.
It was a tough battle, for sure. Christopher Holland, struggling with a terrible illness, was someone his closest loved ones could have been excused for avoiding. But Eunice never wavered; she never left his side. Sometimes she dozed in a chair next to the bed, but she never lay down. Her endurance was remarkable, and her patience and kindness were almost superhuman. She moved quietly back and forth, providing care as the long, agonizing days dragged on, with a gentle smile on her face, and in her dark, sorrowful eyes was the devoted look of a portrayed saint in some dim cathedral corner. For her, there was no world beyond the stark room where the person she loved lay.
One day the doctor looked very grave. He had grown well-hardened to pitiful scenes in his life-time; but he shrunk from telling Eunice that her brother could not live. He had never seen such devotion as hers. It seemed brutal to tell her that it had been in vain.
One day, the doctor looked very serious. He had become quite accustomed to sad situations in his life, but he hesitated to tell Eunice that her brother wouldn’t survive. He had never seen devotion like hers. It felt cruel to tell her that it had all been for nothing.
But Eunice had seen it for herself. She took it very calmly, the doctor thought. And she had her reward at last—such as it was. She thought it amply sufficient.
But Eunice had seen it for herself. She took it very calmly, the doctor thought. And she finally got her reward—whatever that was. She believed it was more than enough.
One night Christopher Holland opened his swollen eyes as she bent over him. They were alone in the old house. It was raining outside, and the drops rattled noisily on the panes.
One night, Christopher Holland opened his swollen eyes as she leaned over him. They were alone in the old house. It was raining outside, and the drops tapped loudly on the windows.
Christopher smiled at his sister with parched lips, and put out a feeble hand toward her.
Christopher smiled at his sister with dry lips and stretched out a weak hand toward her.
"Eunice," he said faintly, "you've been the best sister ever a man had. I haven't treated you right; but you've stood by me to the last. Tell Victoria—tell her—to be good to you—"
"Eunice," he said weakly, "you've been the best sister a guy could ever have. I haven't treated you well, but you've stuck with me until the end. Tell Victoria—tell her—to treat you well—"
His voice died away into an inarticulate murmur. Eunice Carr was alone with her dead.
His voice faded into an unintelligible murmur. Eunice Carr was left alone with her dead.
They buried Christopher Holland in haste and privacy the next day. The doctor disinfected the house, and Eunice was to stay there alone until it might be safe to make other arrangements. She had not shed a tear; the doctor thought she was a rather odd person, but he had a great admiration for her. He told her she was the best nurse he had ever seen. To Eunice, praise or blame mattered nothing. Something in her life had snapped—some vital interest had departed. She wondered how she could live through the dreary, coming years.
They buried Christopher Holland quickly and quietly the next day. The doctor cleaned the house, and Eunice was to stay there alone until it was safe to make other plans. She hadn’t cried; the doctor thought she was a bit strange, but he had a lot of respect for her. He told her she was the best nurse he had ever seen. To Eunice, compliments or criticism didn’t mean anything. Something in her life had broken—some important interest was gone. She wondered how she would get through the dull years ahead.
Late that night she went into the room where her mother and brother had died. The window was open and the cold, pure air was grateful to her after the drug-laden atmosphere she had breathed so long. She knelt down by the stripped bed.
Late that night, she went into the room where her mother and brother had died. The window was open, and the cold, fresh air felt refreshing after the drug-laden atmosphere she had been breathing for so long. She knelt down by the bare bed.
"Mother," she said aloud, "I have kept my promise."
"Mom," she said out loud, "I’ve kept my promise."
When she tried to rise, long after, she staggered and fell across the bed, with her hand pressed on her heart. Old Giles Blewett found her there in the morning. There was a smile on her face.
When she tried to get up much later, she wobbled and fell onto the bed, with her hand over her heart. Old Giles Blewett discovered her there in the morning. She had a smile on her face.
XIII. THE CONSCIENCE CASE OF DAVID BELL
Eben Bell came in with an armful of wood and banged it cheerfully down in the box behind the glowing Waterloo stove, which was coloring the heart of the little kitchen's gloom with tremulous, rose-red whirls of light.
Eben Bell walked in with a pile of firewood and happily dropped it into the box behind the glowing Waterloo stove, which was brightening up the small kitchen's darkness with flickering, rose-red swirls of light.
"There, sis, that's the last chore on my list. Bob's milking. Nothing more for me to do but put on my white collar for meeting. Avonlea is more than lively since the evangelist came, ain't it, though!"
"There you go, sis, that's the last task on my list. Bob's milking. There's nothing left for me to do but put on my white collar for the meeting. Avonlea has been more lively since the evangelist arrived, hasn’t it?"
Mollie Bell nodded. She was curling her hair before the tiny mirror that hung on the whitewashed wall and distorted her round, pink-and-white face into a grotesque caricature.
Mollie Bell nodded. She was curling her hair in front of the small mirror that hung on the whitewashed wall, which twisted her round, pink-and-white face into a weird caricature.
"Wonder who'll stand up to-night," said Eben reflectively, sitting down on the edge of the wood-box. "There ain't many sinners left in Avonlea—only a few hardened chaps like myself."
"Wonder who will stand up tonight," said Eben thoughtfully, sitting on the edge of the woodbox. "There aren't many sinners left in Avonlea—just a few tough guys like me."
"You shouldn't talk like that," said Mollie rebukingly. "What if father heard you?"
"You shouldn’t talk like that," Mollie said disapprovingly. "What if Dad heard you?"
"Father wouldn't hear me if I shouted it in his ear," returned Eben. "He goes around, these days, like a man in a dream and a mighty bad dream at that. Father has always been a good man. What's the matter with him?"
"Father wouldn't hear me even if I shouted in his ear," Eben replied. "These days, he acts like a man lost in a dream, and a really bad one at that. Father has always been a good man. What's wrong with him?"
"I don't know," said Mollie, dropping her voice. "Mother is dreadfully worried over him. And everybody is talking, Eb. It just makes me squirm. Flora Jane Fletcher asked me last night why father never testified, and him one of the elders. She said the minister was perplexed about it. I felt my face getting red."
"I don't know," Mollie said, lowering her voice. "Mom is really worried about him. And everyone is talking, Eb. It just makes me uncomfortable. Flora Jane Fletcher asked me last night why Dad never testified, especially since he’s one of the elders. She said the minister was puzzled about it. I could feel my face turning red."
"Why didn't you tell her it was no business of hers?" said Eben angrily. "Old Flora Jane had better mind her own business."
"Why didn't you tell her it wasn't her concern?" Eben said angrily. "Old Flora Jane should stick to her own business."
"But all the folks are talking about it, Eb. And mother is fretting her heart out over it. Father has never acted like himself since these meetings began. He just goes there night after night, and sits like a mummy, with his head down. And almost everybody else in Avonlea has testified."
"But everyone is talking about it, Eb. And mom is really worried about it. Dad hasn’t acted like himself since these meetings started. He just goes there night after night and sits like a statue, with his head down. And nearly everyone else in Avonlea has given their testimony."
"Oh, no, there's lots haven't," said Eben. "Matthew Cuthbert never has, nor Uncle Elisha, nor any of the Whites."
"Oh, no, there are plenty who haven't," said Eben. "Matthew Cuthbert never has, nor Uncle Elisha, nor any of the Whites."
"But everybody knows they don't believe in getting up and testifying, so nobody wonders when they don't. Besides," Mollie laughed—"Matthew could never get a word out in public, if he did believe in it. He'd be too shy. But," she added with a sigh, "it isn't that way with father. He believes in testimony, so people wonder why he doesn't get up. Why, even old Josiah Sloane gets up every night."
"But everyone knows they don’t believe in getting up and speaking out, so no one is surprised when they don’t. Besides," Mollie laughed. "Matthew could never say a word in public, even if he did believe in it. He’d be too shy. But," she added with a sigh, "it’s different for dad. He believes in sharing his thoughts, so people are curious why he doesn’t stand up. I mean, even old Josiah Sloane gets up every night."
"With his whiskers sticking out every which way, and his hair ditto," interjected the graceless Eben.
"With his whiskers sticking out in all directions and his hair the same way," interjected the awkward Eben.
"When the minister calls for testimonials and all the folks look at our pew, I feel ready to sink through the floor for shame," sighed Mollie. "If father would get up just once!"
"When the minister asks for testimonials and everyone looks at our pew, I feel like I could just sink through the floor from embarrassment," sighed Mollie. "If only Dad would stand up just once!"
Miriam Bell entered the kitchen. She was ready for the meeting, to which Major Spencer was to take her. She was a tall, pale girl, with a serious face, and dark, thoughtful eyes, totally unlike Mollie. She had "come under conviction" during the meetings, and had stood up for prayer and testimony several times. The evangelist thought her very spiritual. She heard Mollie's concluding sentence and spoke reprovingly.
Miriam Bell walked into the kitchen. She was prepared for the meeting that Major Spencer would take her to. She was a tall, pale girl with a serious expression and dark, thoughtful eyes, completely different from Mollie. She had felt a strong urge during the meetings and had stood up for prayer and testimony several times. The evangelist viewed her as very spiritual. She heard Mollie's final words and responded with a disapproving tone.
"You shouldn't criticize your father, Mollie. It isn't for you to judge him."
"You shouldn't criticize your dad, Mollie. It's not your place to judge him."
Eben had hastily slipped out. He was afraid Miriam would begin talking religion to him if he stayed. He had with difficulty escaped from an exhortation by Robert in the cow-stable. There was no peace in Avonlea for the unregenerate, he reflected. Robert and Miriam had both "come out," and Mollie was hovering on the brink.
Eben had quickly slipped away. He was worried Miriam would start talking about religion if he stayed. He had barely gotten away from a lecture by Robert in the barn. There was no peace in Avonlea for someone like him, he thought. Robert and Miriam had both "come out," and Mollie was right on the edge.
"Dad and I are the black sheep of the family," he said, with a laugh, for which he at once felt guilty. Eben had been brought up with a strict reverence for all religious matters. On the surface he might sometimes laugh at them, but the deeps troubled him whenever he did so.
"Dad and I are the outcasts of the family," he said with a laugh, immediately feeling guilty about it. Eben had been raised with a strong respect for all things religious. On the surface, he might occasionally joke about them, but deep down, it disturbed him whenever he did.
Indoors, Miriam touched her younger sister's shoulder and looked at her affectionately.
Indoors, Miriam placed a hand on her younger sister's shoulder and looked at her with love.
"Won't you decide to-night, Mollie?" she asked, in a voice tremulous with emotion.
"Will you decide tonight, Mollie?" she asked, her voice shaky with emotion.
Mollie crimsoned and turned her face away uncomfortably. She did not know what answer to make, and was glad that a jingle of bells outside saved her the necessity of replying.
Mollie blushed and turned her face away awkwardly. She didn’t know how to respond and was relieved when the sound of bells outside spared her from having to answer.
"There's your beau, Miriam," she said, as she darted into the sitting room.
"There's your boyfriend, Miriam," she said, as she shot into the living room.
Soon after, Eben brought the family pung and his chubby red mare to the door for Mollie. He had not as yet attained to the dignity of a cutter of his own. That was for his elder brother, Robert, who presently came out in his new fur coat and drove dashingly away with bells and glitter.
Soon after, Eben brought the family cart and his chubby red mare to the door for Mollie. He had not yet reached the status of owning his own cutter. That was for his older brother, Robert, who soon came out in his new fur coat and drove away stylishly with bells and sparkle.
"Thinks he's the people," remarked Eben, with a fraternal grin.
"Thinks he's the man of the people," said Eben, with a friendly smile.
The rich winter twilight was purpling over the white world as they drove down the lane under the over-arching wild cherry trees that glittered with gemmy hoar-frost. The snow creaked and crisped under the runners. A shrill wind was keening in the leafless dogwoods. Over the trees the sky was a dome of silver, with a lucent star or two on the slope of the west. Earth-stars gleamed warmly out here and there, where homesteads were tucked snugly away in their orchards or groves of birch.
The rich winter twilight was turning purple over the white landscape as they drove down the lane beneath the arching wild cherry trees that sparkled with sparkling frost. The snow cracked and crunched under the runners. A sharp wind was howling through the bare dogwoods. Above the trees, the sky was a silver dome, with one or two bright stars shining in the western sky. The lights from homes glowed warmly here and there, where houses were cozily nestled in their orchards or birch groves.
"The church will be jammed to-night," said Eben. "It's so fine that folks will come from near and far. Guess it'll be exciting."
"The church will be packed tonight," said Eben. "It's such a nice evening that people will come from all over. I bet it’ll be thrilling."
"If only father would testify!" sighed Mollie, from the bottom of the pung, where she was snuggled amid furs and straw. "Miriam can say what she likes, but I do feel as if we were all disgraced. It sends a creep all over me to hear Mr. Bentley say, 'Now, isn't there one more to say a word for Jesus?' and look right over at father."
"If only Dad would testify!" sighed Mollie, from the bottom of the cart, where she was cozy among furs and straw. "Miriam can say whatever she wants, but I really feel like we're all embarrassed. It gives me chills to hear Mr. Bentley say, 'Now, isn't there one more to say a word for Jesus?' and look straight over at Dad."
Eben flicked his mare with his whip, and she broke into a trot. The silence was filled with a faint, fairy-like melody from afar down the road where a pungful of young folks from White Sands were singing hymns on their way to meeting.
Eben cracked his whip at his mare, and she picked up a trot. The quiet was filled with a soft, magical melody coming from down the road where a group of young people from White Sands were singing hymns on their way to the meeting.
"Look here, Mollie," said Eben awkwardly at last, "are you going to stand up for prayers to-night?"
"Hey, Mollie," Eben said awkwardly at last, "are you going to join us for prayers tonight?"
"I—I can't as long as father acts this way," answered Mollie, in a choked voice. "I—I want to, Eb, and Mirry and Bob want me to, but I can't. I do hope that the evangelist won't come and talk to me special to-night. I always feels as if I was being pulled two different ways, when he does."
"I—I can't while Dad is acting like this," Mollie replied, her voice strained. "I—I want to, and Eb, Mirry, and Bob want me to, but I can't. I really hope the evangelist doesn't come and talk to me specifically tonight. I always feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions when he does."
Back in the kitchen at home Mrs. Bell was waiting for her husband to bring the horse to the door. She was a slight, dark-eyed little woman, with thin, vivid-red cheeks. From out of the swathings in which she had wrapped her bonnet, her face gleamed sad and troubled. Now and then she sighed heavily.
Back in the kitchen at home, Mrs. Bell was waiting for her husband to bring the horse to the door. She was a petite, dark-eyed woman with thin, bright red cheeks. From the layers of fabric wrapped around her bonnet, her face shone with a sad and worried expression. Every now and then, she let out a heavy sigh.
The cat came to her from under the stove, languidly stretching himself, and yawning until all the red cavern of his mouth and throat was revealed. At the moment he had an uncanny resemblance to Elder Joseph Blewett of White Sands—Roaring Joe, the irreverent boys called him—when he grew excited and shouted. Mrs. Bell saw it—and then reproached herself for the sacrilege.
The cat came to her from under the stove, lazily stretching out and yawning until his whole red mouth and throat were visible. At that moment, he looked eerily like Elder Joseph Blewett of White Sands—Roaring Joe, as the mischievous boys called him—when he got worked up and yelled. Mrs. Bell noticed it—and then felt guilty for the blasphemy.
"But it's no wonder I've wicked thoughts," she said, wearily. "I'm that worried I ain't rightly myself. If he would only tell me what the trouble is, maybe I could help him. At any rate, I'd KNOW. It hurts me so to see him going about, day after day, with his head hanging and that look on his face, as if he had something fearful on his conscience—him that never harmed a living soul. And then the way he groans and mutters in his sleep! He has always lived a just, upright life. He hasn't no right to go on like this, disgracing his family."
"But it’s no surprise I have dark thoughts," she said, tiredly. "I’m so worried I’m not really myself. If he would just tell me what’s wrong, maybe I could help him. At the very least, I’d KNOW. It pains me to see him walking around, day after day, with his head down and that look on his face, as if he has something terrible weighing on his conscience—him who never harmed a living soul. And the way he groans and mumbles in his sleep! He has always lived a good, honest life. He shouldn’t be carrying on like this, bringing shame to his family."
Mrs. Bell's angry sob was cut short by the sleigh at the door. Her husband poked in his busy, iron-gray head and said, "Now, mother." He helped her into the sleigh, tucked the rugs warmly around her, and put a hot brick at her feet. His solicitude hurt her. It was all for her material comfort. It did not matter to him what mental agony she might suffer over his strange attitude. For the first time in their married life Mary Bell felt resentment against her husband.
Mrs. Bell's angry sob was interrupted by the sleigh at the door. Her husband poked his busy, iron-gray head in and said, "Now, mom." He helped her into the sleigh, tucked the blankets warmly around her, and placed a hot brick at her feet. His concern hurt her. It was all about her physical comfort. He didn't care at all about the emotional pain she might be feeling because of his strange behavior. For the first time in their marriage, Mary Bell felt resentment toward her husband.
They drove along in silence, past the snow-powdered hedges of spruce, and under the arches of the forest roadways. They were late, and a great stillness was over all the land. David Bell never spoke. All his usual cheerful talkativeness had disappeared since the revival meetings had begun in Avonlea. From the first he had gone about as a man over whom some strange doom is impending, seemingly oblivious to all that might be said or thought of him in his own family or in the church. Mary Bell thought she would go out of her mind if her husband continued to act in this way. Her reflections were bitter and rebellious as they sped along through the glittering night of the winter's prime.
They drove in silence, passing the snow-covered spruce hedges and beneath the arches of the forest roads. They were late, and a heavy stillness hung over the entire landscape. David Bell didn’t say a word. His usual cheerful chatter had vanished since the revival meetings started in Avonlea. From the beginning, he had been moving like someone under some strange curse, seemingly unaware of what anyone in his family or the church might say or think about him. Mary Bell felt like she would lose her mind if her husband kept acting this way. Her thoughts turned bitter and defiant as they rushed through the sparkling winter night.
"I don't get one bit of good out of the meetings," she thought resentfully. "There ain't any peace or joy for me, not even in testifying myself, when David sits there like a stick or stone. If he'd been opposed to the revivalist coming here, like old Uncle Jerry, or if he didn't believe in public testimony, I wouldn't mind. I'd understand. But, as it is, I feel dreadful humiliated."
"I don't get anything good out of these meetings," she thought bitterly. "There's no peace or joy for me, not even when I share my thoughts, with David just sitting there like a statue. If he were against the revivalist coming here, like old Uncle Jerry, or if he didn't believe in public testimony, I wouldn't be bothered. I'd get it. But as it stands, I feel so embarrassed."
Revival meetings had never been held in Avonlea before. "Uncle" Jerry MacPherson, who was the supreme local authority in church matters, taking precedence of even the minister, had been uncompromisingly opposed to them. He was a stern, deeply religious Scotchman, with a horror of the emotional form of religion. As long as Uncle Jerry's spare, ascetic form and deeply-graved square-jawed face filled his accustomed corner by the northwest window of Avonlea church no revivalist might venture therein, although the majority of the congregation, including the minister, would have welcomed one warmly.
Revival meetings had never taken place in Avonlea before. "Uncle" Jerry MacPherson, who was the ultimate local authority on church matters, even more so than the minister, had always been firmly against them. He was a strict, deeply religious Scotsman, with a strong dislike for emotional forms of religion. As long as Uncle Jerry's lean, ascetic figure and deeply lined square-jawed face occupied his usual spot by the northwest window of Avonlea church, no revivalist could even think about entering, even though most of the congregation, including the minister, would have gladly welcomed one.
But now Uncle Jerry was sleeping peacefully under the tangled grasses and white snows of the burying ground, and, if dead people ever do turn in their graves, Uncle Jerry might well have turned in his when the revivalist came to Avonlea church, and there followed the emotional services, public testimonies, and religious excitement which the old man's sturdy soul had always abhorred.
But now Uncle Jerry was sleeping peacefully under the tangled grasses and white snow of the cemetery, and if dead people ever turn in their graves, Uncle Jerry might have turned in his when the revivalist came to Avonlea church, bringing with him all the emotional services, public testimonies, and religious excitement that the old man's strong spirit had always hated.
Avonlea was a good field for an evangelist. The Rev. Geoffrey Mountain, who came to assist the Avonlea minister in revivifying the dry bones thereof, knew this and reveled in the knowledge. It was not often that such a virgin parish could be found nowadays, with scores of impressionable, unspoiled souls on which fervid oratory could play skillfully, as a master on a mighty organ, until every note in them thrilled to life and utterance. The Rev. Geoffrey Mountain was a good man; of the earth, earthy, to be sure, but with an unquestionable sincerity of belief and purpose which went far to counterbalance the sensationalism of some of his methods.
Avonlea was a great place for an evangelist. Rev. Geoffrey Mountain, who came to help the Avonlea minister bring new life to the community, knew this and enjoyed the opportunity. It wasn't often that such an untouched parish could be found nowadays, with so many impressionable, unspoiled individuals who could be influenced by passionate speaking, like a skilled musician playing a magnificent organ, until every note within them came alive and found a voice. Rev. Geoffrey Mountain was a good man; down-to-earth, for sure, but with a genuine sincerity of belief and purpose that helped balance out some of the sensationalism in his methods.
He was large and handsome, with a marvelously sweet and winning voice—a voice that could melt into irresistible tenderness, or swell into sonorous appeal and condemnation, or ring like a trumpet calling to battle.
He was big and attractive, with an incredibly sweet and charming voice—a voice that could shift into irresistible warmth, or rise into powerful persuasion and criticism, or sound like a trumpet summoning to battle.
His frequent grammatical errors, and lapses into vulgarity, counted for nothing against its charm, and the most commonplace words in the world would have borrowed much of the power of real oratory from its magic. He knew its value and used it effectively—perhaps even ostentatiously.
His frequent grammar mistakes and slips into crudeness didn't take away from its charm, and even the most ordinary words could gain much of the impact of real oratory from its magic. He understood its worth and used it well—maybe even a bit showily.
Geoffrey Mountain's religion and methods, like the man himself, were showy, but, of their kind, sincere, and, though the good he accomplished might not be unmixed, it was a quantity to be reckoned with.
Geoffrey Mountain's religion and methods, much like the man himself, were flashy but, in their own way, genuine. Even though the good he did may not be without flaws, it was significant and couldn't be ignored.
So the Rev. Geoffrey Mountain came to Avonlea, conquering and to conquer. Night after night the church was crowded with eager listeners, who hung breathlessly on his words and wept and thrilled and exulted as he willed. Into many young souls his appeals and warnings burned their way, and each night they rose for prayer in response to his invitation. Older Christians, too, took on a new lease of intensity, and even the unregenerate and the scoffers found a certain fascination in the meetings. Threading through it all, for old and young, converted and unconverted, was an unacknowledged feeling for religious dissipation. Avonlea was a quiet place,—and the revival meetings were lively.
So, Reverend Geoffrey Mountain came to Avonlea, ready to inspire and transform. Night after night, the church was packed with eager listeners who hung on his every word, weeping, feeling thrilled, and celebrating as he directed. His appeals and warnings deeply impacted many young souls, and each night, they rose for prayer in response to his invitation. Even older Christians experienced a renewed sense of passion, and those who were skeptical found a certain charm in the meetings. Underneath it all, for everyone—young and old, believers and non-believers—there was an unspoken desire for spiritual excitement. Avonlea was a quiet place, but the revival meetings were anything but dull.
When David and Mary Bell reached the church the services had begun, and they heard the refrain of a hallelujah hymn as they were crossing Harmon Andrews' field. David Bell left his wife at the platform and drove to the horse-shed.
When David and Mary Bell arrived at the church, the service had started, and they heard the chorus of a hallelujah hymn while crossing Harmon Andrews' field. David Bell dropped his wife off at the platform and headed to the horse shed.
Mrs. Bell unwound the scarf from her bonnet and shook the frost crystals from it. In the porch Flora Jane Fletcher and her sister, Mrs. Harmon Andrews, were talking in low whispers. Presently Flora Jane put out her lank, cashmere-gloved hand and plucked Mrs. Bell's shawl.
Mrs. Bell took off the scarf from her bonnet and shook the frost crystals off it. On the porch, Flora Jane Fletcher and her sister, Mrs. Harmon Andrews, were speaking in quiet whispers. Soon, Flora Jane reached out her thin, cashmere-gloved hand and tugged at Mrs. Bell's shawl.
"Mary, is the elder going to testify to-night?" she asked, in a shrill whisper.
"Mary, is the elder going to testify tonight?" she asked in a high-pitched whisper.
Mrs. Bell winced. She would have given much to be able to answer "Yes," but she had to say stiffly,
Mrs. Bell winced. She would have given a lot to be able to answer "Yes," but she had to say stiffly,
"I don't know."
"I don't know."
Flora Jane lifted her chin.
Flora Jane raised her chin.
"Well, Mrs. Bell, I only asked because every one thinks it is strange he doesn't—and an elder, of all people. It looks as if he didn't think himself a Christian, you know. Of course, we all know better, but it LOOKS that way. If I was you, I'd tell him folks was talking about it. Mr. Bentley says it is hindering the full success of the meetings."
"Well, Mrs. Bell, I only asked because everyone thinks it's strange that he doesn't—and especially being an elder. It seems like he doesn't consider himself a Christian, you know? Of course, we all know that's not the case, but it LOOKS that way. If I were you, I’d let him know people are talking about it. Mr. Bentley says it's affecting the success of the meetings."
Mrs. Bell turned on her tormentor in swift anger. She might resent her husband's strange behavior herself, but nobody else should dare to criticize him to her.
Mrs. Bell shot back at her tormentor in a flash of anger. She might be upset about her husband's odd behavior, but no one else should dare to criticize him in front of her.
"I don't think you need to worry yourself about the elder, Flora Jane," she said bitingly. "Maybe 'tisn't the best Christians that do the most talking about it always. I guess, as far as living up to his profession goes, the elder will compare pretty favorably with Levi Boulter, who gets up and testifies every night, and cheats the very eye-teeth out of people in the daytime."
"I don’t think you need to stress about the elder, Flora Jane," she said sharply. "Maybe it isn’t the best Christians who actually do the most talking about it all the time. I guess, when it comes to living up to his profession, the elder holds up pretty well against Levi Boulter, who gets up and testifies every night, and scams people left and right during the day."
Levi Boulter was a middle-aged widower, with a large family, who was supposed to have cast a matrimonial eye Flora Janeward. The use of his name was an effective thrust on Mrs. Bell's part, and silenced Flora Jane. Too angry for speech she seized her sister's arm and hurried her into church.
Levi Boulter was a middle-aged widower with a big family who was said to be interested in marrying Flora Janeward. Using his name was a smart move by Mrs. Bell, and it left Flora Jane speechless. Too angry to say anything, she grabbed her sister's arm and rushed her into church.
But her victory could not remove from Mary Bell's soul the sting implanted there by Flora Jane's words. When her husband came up to the platform she put her hand on his snowy arm appealingly.
But her victory couldn’t erase the sting that Flora Jane’s words had left in Mary Bell's soul. When her husband joined her on the platform, she placed her hand on his white arm in a pleading manner.
"Oh, David, won't you get up to-night? I do feel so dreadful bad—folks are talking so—I just feel humiliated."
"Oh, David, will you please get up tonight? I feel really awful—people are talking so much—I just feel embarrassed."
David Bell hung his head like a shamed schoolboy.
David Bell hung his head like a embarrassed student.
"I can't, Mary," he said huskily. "'Tain't no use to pester me."
"I can't, Mary," he said in a rough voice. "There's no point in bothering me."
"You don't care for my feelings," said his wife bitterly. "And Mollie won't come out because you're acting so. You're keeping her back from salvation. And you're hindering the success of the revival—Mr. Bentley says so."
"You don't care about my feelings," his wife said bitterly. "And Mollie won't come out because of how you're acting. You're holding her back from salvation. And you're disrupting the success of the revival—Mr. Bentley says so."
David Bell groaned. This sign of suffering wrung his wife's heart. With quick contrition she whispered,
David Bell groaned. This sign of pain broke his wife's heart. Filled with immediate regret, she whispered,
"There, never mind, David. I oughtn't to have spoken to you so. You know your duty best. Let's go in."
"There, never mind, David. I shouldn't have talked to you like that. You know your responsibilities better than I do. Let's go inside."
"Wait." His voice was imploring.
"Hold on." His voice was pleading.
"Mary, is it true that Mollie won't come out because of me? Am I standing in my child's light?"
"Mary, is it true that Mollie won't come out because of me? Am I blocking my child's path?"
"I—don't—know. I guess not. Mollie's just a foolish young girl yet. Never mind—come in."
"I—don't—know. I guess not. Mollie's still just a silly young girl. Never mind—come in."
He followed her dejectedly in, and up the aisle to their pew in the center of the church. The building was warm and crowded. The pastor was reading the Bible lesson for the evening. In the choir, behind him, David Bell saw Mollie's girlish face, tinged with a troubled seriousness. His own wind-ruddy face and bushy gray eyebrows worked convulsively with his inward throes. A sigh that was almost a groan burst from him.
He followed her in, feeling down, and made his way up the aisle to their pew in the middle of the church. The building was warm and packed. The pastor was reading the Bible lesson for the evening. In the choir, behind him, David Bell noticed Mollie's youthful face, marked by a concerned seriousness. His own wind-red face and bushy gray eyebrows twitched with his inner turmoil. A sigh that was almost a groan escaped him.
"I'll have to do it," he said to himself in agony.
"I have to do it," he said to himself in distress.
When several more hymns had been sung, and late arrivals began to pack the aisles, the evangelist arose. His style for the evening was the tender, the pleading, the solemn. He modulated his tones to marvelous sweetness, and sent them thrillingly over the breathless pews, entangling the hearts and souls of his listeners in a mesh of subtle emotion. Many of the women began to cry softly. Fervent amens broke from some of the members. When the evangelist sat down, after a closing appeal which, in its way, was a masterpiece, an audible sigh of relieved tension passed like a wave over the audience.
When a few more songs were sung and latecomers started filling the aisles, the evangelist stood up. His tone for the evening was gentle, earnest, and serious. He adjusted his voice to a beautiful sweetness, sending it resonating over the silent pews, weaving the hearts and souls of his audience into a web of delicate emotion. Many women started to cry quietly. Passionate amens came from some members of the congregation. When the evangelist finished, after a final appeal that was truly exceptional, a noticeable sigh of relief swept through the audience.
After prayer the pastor made the usual request that, if any of those present wished to come out on the side of Christ, they would signify the wish by rising for a moment in their places. After a brief interval, a pale boy under the gallery rose, followed by an old man at the top of the church. A frightened, sweet-faced child of twelve got tremblingly upon her feet, and a dramatic thrill passed over the congregation when her mother suddenly stood up beside her. The evangelist's "Thank God" was hearty and insistent.
After the prayer, the pastor made his usual request that anyone in the room who wanted to support Christ should show their intention by standing for a moment. After a short pause, a pale boy under the balcony stood up, followed by an older man at the back of the church. A scared, sweet-faced twelve-year-old slowly got to her feet, and a wave of emotion swept through the congregation when her mother suddenly stood up beside her. The evangelist's "Thank God" was full of warmth and sincerity.
David Bell looked almost imploringly at Mollie; but she kept her seat, with downcast eyes. Over in the big square "stone pew" he saw Eben bending forward, with his elbows on his knees, gazing frowningly at the floor.
David Bell looked almost pleadingly at Mollie, but she stayed seated, her eyes downcast. Over in the big square "stone pew," he saw Eben leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, staring intently at the floor with a frown.
"I'm a stumbling block to them both," he thought bitterly.
"I'm a hurdle for both of them," he thought bitterly.
A hymn was sung and prayer offered for those under conviction. Then testimonies were called for. The evangelist asked for them in tones which made it seem a personal request to every one in that building.
A hymn was sung, and a prayer was offered for those feeling convicted. Then, they asked for testimonies. The evangelist requested them in a way that felt personal to everyone in that building.
Many testimonies followed, each infused with the personality of the giver. Most of them were brief and stereotyped. Finally a pause ensued. The evangelist swept the pews with his kindling eyes and exclaimed, appealingly,
Many testimonies followed, each filled with the personality of the person sharing. Most of them were short and typical. Finally, there was a pause. The evangelist scanned the pews with his fiery eyes and exclaimed, appealingly,
"Has EVERY Christian in this church to-night spoken a word for his Master?"
"Has every Christian in this church tonight said something for their Master?"
There were many who had not testified, but every eye in the building followed the pastor's accusing glance to the Bell pew. Mollie crimsoned with shame. Mrs. Bell cowered visibly.
There were many who hadn’t testified, but every eye in the building followed the pastor's accusing glance to the Bell pew. Mollie turned red with shame. Mrs. Bell visibly shrank back.
Although everybody looked thus at David Bell, nobody now expected him to testify. When he rose to his feet, a murmur of surprise passed over the audience, followed by a silence so complete as to be terrible. To David Bell it seemed to possess the awe of final judgment.
Although everyone looked at David Bell this way, no one expected him to testify. When he stood up, a murmur of surprise swept through the audience, followed by a silence that was so complete it felt terrifying. To David Bell, it seemed to carry the weight of final judgment.
Twice he opened his lips, and tried vainly to speak. The third time he succeeded; but his voice sounded strangely in his own ears. He gripped the back of the pew before him with his knotty hands, and fixed his eyes unseeingly on the Christian Endeavor pledge that hung over the heads of the choir.
Twice he opened his mouth, trying unsuccessfully to speak. The third time he managed it; but his voice sounded weird in his own ears. He clutched the back of the pew in front of him with his rough hands and stared blankly at the Christian Endeavor pledge hanging over the choir's heads.
"Brethren and sisters," he said hoarsely, "before I can say a word of Christian testimony here to-night I've got something to confess. It's been lying hard and heavy on my conscience ever since these meetings begun. As long as I kept silence about it I couldn't get up and bear witness for Christ. Many of you have expected me to do it. Maybe I've been a stumbling block to some of you. This season of revival has brought no blessing to me because of my sin, which I repented of, but tried to conceal. There has been a spiritual darkness over me.
"Brothers and sisters," he said hoarsely, "before I can share any Christian testimony here tonight, I need to confess something. It's been weighing heavily on my conscience ever since these meetings started. As long as I stayed silent about it, I couldn't stand up and testify for Christ. Many of you have expected me to do so. Maybe I've been a stumbling block for some of you. This revival season hasn't brought me any blessings because of my sin, which I regretted but tried to hide. I've felt a spiritual darkness surrounding me.
"Friends and neighbors, I have always been held by you as an honest man. It was the shame of having you know I was not which has kept me back from open confession and testimony. Just afore these meetings commenced I come home from town one night and found that somebody had passed a counterfeit ten-dollar bill on me. Then Satan entered into me and possessed me. When Mrs. Rachel Lynde come next day, collecting for foreign missions, I give her that ten dollar bill. She never knowed the difference, and sent it away with the rest. But I knew I'd done a mean and sinful thing. I couldn't drive it out of my thoughts. A few days afterwards I went down to Mrs. Rachel's and give her ten good dollars for the fund. I told her I had come to the conclusion I ought to give more than ten dollars, out of my abundance, to the Lord. That was a lie. Mrs. Lynde thought I was a generous man, and I felt ashamed to look her in the face. But I'd done what I could to right the wrong, and I thought it would be all right. But it wasn't. I've never known a minute's peace of mind or conscience since. I tried to cheat the Lord, and then tried to patch it up by doing something that redounded to my worldly credit. When these meetings begun, and everybody expected me to testify, I couldn't do it. It would have seemed like blasphemy. And I couldn't endure the thought of telling what I'd done, either. I argued it all out a thousand times that I hadn't done any real harm after all, but it was no use. I've been so wrapped up in my own brooding and misery that I didn't realize I was inflicting suffering on those dear to me by my conduct, and, maybe, holding some of them back from the paths of salvation. But my eyes have been opened to this to-night, and the Lord has given me strength to confess my sin and glorify His holy name."
"Friends and neighbors, I've always been regarded by you as an honest man. The shame of knowing that I was not has kept me from openly confessing and testifying. Just before these meetings started, I came home from town one night and found out that someone had passed a counterfeit ten-dollar bill to me. Then Satan entered me and took control. The next day, when Mrs. Rachel Lynde came by collecting for foreign missions, I gave her that ten-dollar bill. She never knew the difference and sent it off with the others. But I knew I had done something mean and sinful. I couldn't stop thinking about it. A few days later, I went to Mrs. Rachel's and gave her ten real dollars for the fund. I told her I had decided to give more than ten dollars, from my abundance, to the Lord. That was a lie. Mrs. Lynde thought I was generous, and I felt ashamed to look her in the face. But I did what I could to make it right, and I thought that would be enough. But it wasn't. I've never known a moment's peace of mind or conscience since then. I tried to deceive the Lord and then attempted to fix it by doing something that made me look good. When these meetings began, and everyone expected me to testify, I couldn't do it. It would have felt like blasphemy. And I couldn't bear the thought of revealing what I had done, either. I reasoned it out a thousand times that I hadn't really harmed anyone, but it didn't help. I've been so caught up in my own brooding and misery that I didn't realize I was causing pain to those dear to me with my actions, and maybe holding some of them back from the paths of salvation. But my eyes have been opened to this tonight, and the Lord has given me the strength to confess my sin and glorify His holy name."
The broken tones ceased, and David Bell sat down, wiping the great drops of perspiration from his brow. To a man of his training, and cast of thought, no ordeal could be more terrible than that through which he had just passed. But underneath the turmoil of his emotion he felt a great calm and peace, threaded with the exultation of a hard-won spiritual victory.
The broken sounds stopped, and David Bell sat down, wiping the sweat from his forehead. For someone with his background and mindset, nothing could be more agonizing than what he had just endured. Yet, beneath the turmoil of his feelings, he sensed a deep calm and peace, mixed with the joy of a hard-earned spiritual victory.
Over the church was a solemn hush. The evangelist's "amen" was not spoken with his usual unctuous fervor, but very gently and reverently. In spite of his coarse fiber, he could appreciate the nobility behind such a confession as this, and the deeps of stern suffering it sounded.
Over the church was a quiet stillness. The evangelist's "amen" wasn't said with his usual oily enthusiasm, but instead very softly and respectfully. Despite his rough nature, he could sense the dignity behind such a confession and the deep pain it expressed.
Before the last prayer the pastor paused and looked around.
Before the final prayer, the pastor stopped and surveyed the room.
"Is there yet one," he asked gently, "who wishes to be especially remembered in our concluding prayer?"
"Is there anyone," he asked softly, "who wants to be remembered in our final prayer?"
For a moment nobody moved. Then Mollie Bell stood up in the choir seat, and, down by the stove, Eben, his flushed, boyish face held high, rose sturdily to his feet in the midst of his companions.
For a moment, no one moved. Then Mollie Bell stood up in the choir seat, and down by the stove, Eben, his flushed, boyish face held high, stood firmly to his feet among his friends.
"Thank God," whispered Mary Bell.
"Thank God," Mary Bell whispered.
"Amen," said her husband huskily.
"Amen," her husband said hoarsely.
"Let us pray," said Mr. Bentley.
"Let's pray," Mr. Bentley said.
XIV. ONLY A COMMON FELLOW
On my dearie's wedding morning I wakened early and went to her room. Long and long ago she had made me promise that I would be the one to wake her on the morning of her wedding day.
On my sweetheart's wedding morning, I woke up early and went to her room. A long time ago, she made me promise that I would be the one to wake her on the morning of her wedding day.
"You were the first to take me in your arms when I came into the world, Aunt Rachel," she had said, "and I want you to be the first to greet me on that wonderful day."
"You were the first to hold me when I was born, Aunt Rachel," she had said, "and I want you to be the first to welcome me on that amazing day."
But that was long ago, and now my heart foreboded that there would be no need of wakening her. And there was not. She was lying there awake, very quiet, with her hand under her cheek, and her big blue eyes fixed on the window, through which a pale, dull light was creeping in—a joyless light it was, and enough to make a body shiver. I felt more like weeping than rejoicing, and my heart took to aching when I saw her there so white and patient, more like a girl who was waiting for a winding-sheet than for a bridal veil. But she smiled brave-like, when I sat down on her bed and took her hand.
But that was a long time ago, and now my heart sensed that there was no need to wake her. And there wasn't. She was lying there, awake and very quiet, with her hand under her cheek, and her big blue eyes fixed on the window, through which a pale, dull light was creeping in—a joyless light that was enough to make someone shiver. I felt more like crying than celebrating, and my heart ached when I saw her there, so pale and patient, more like a girl waiting for a shroud than for a bridal veil. But she smiled bravely when I sat down on her bed and took her hand.
"You look as if you haven't slept all night, dearie," I said.
"You look like you haven't slept at all last night, sweetheart," I said.
"I didn't—not a great deal," she answered me. "But the night didn't seem long; no, it seemed too short. I was thinking of a great many things. What time is it, Aunt Rachel?"
"I didn't—not much," she replied. "But the night didn't seem long; no, it felt too short. I was thinking about a lot of things. What time is it, Aunt Rachel?"
"Five o'clock."
"5 PM."
"Then in six hours more—"
"Then in six more hours—"
She suddenly sat up in her bed, her great, thick rope of brown hair falling over her white shoulders, and flung her arms about me, and burst into tears on my old breast. I petted and soothed her, and said not a word; and, after a while, she stopped crying; but she still sat with her head so that I couldn't see her face.
She suddenly sat up in bed, her long, thick brown hair spilling over her white shoulders, and threw her arms around me, crying on my old chest. I comforted her quietly, saying nothing; after a while, she stopped crying, but she still sat in a way that kept her face hidden from me.
"We didn't think it would be like this once, did we, Aunt Rachel?" she said, very softly.
"We didn't think it would be like this at all, did we, Aunt Rachel?" she said quietly.
"It shouldn't be like this, now," I said. I had to say it. I never could hide the thought of that marriage, and I couldn't pretend to. It was all her stepmother's doings—right well I knew that. My dearie would never have taken Mark Foster else.
"It shouldn't be like this now," I said. I had to say it. I could never hide the thought of that marriage, and I couldn't pretend otherwise. It was all her stepmother's doing—I knew that for sure. My dear wouldn't have married Mark Foster otherwise.
"Don't let us talk of that," she said, soft and beseeching, just the same way she used to speak when she was a baby-child and wanted to coax me into something. "Let us talk about the old days—and HIM."
"Let's not get into that," she said, softly and pleadingly, just like she used to when she was a little kid trying to persuade me about something. "Let's talk about the good old days—and HIM."
"I don't see much use in talking of HIM, when you're going to marry Mark Foster to-day," I said.
"I don't see much point in talking about HIM when you're marrying Mark Foster today," I said.
But she put her hand on my mouth.
But she covered my mouth with her hand.
"It's for the last time, Aunt Rachel. After to-day I can never talk of him, or even think of him. It's four years since he went away. Do you remember how he looked, Aunt Rachel?"
"It's the last time, Aunt Rachel. After today, I can never talk about him or even think about him. It's been four years since he left. Do you remember how he looked, Aunt Rachel?"
"I mind well enough, I reckon," I said, kind of curt-like. And I did. Owen Blair hadn't a face a body could forget—that long face of his with its clean color and its eyes made to look love into a woman's. When I thought of Mark Foster's sallow skin and lank jaws I felt sick-like. Not that Mark was ugly—he was just a common-looking fellow.
"I remember well enough, I guess," I said, somewhat abruptly. And I did. Owen Blair had a face you couldn't forget—that long face of his with its clear complexion and eyes that seemed designed to make a woman fall in love. Whenever I thought of Mark Foster's pale skin and thin jaw, I felt a bit nauseous. Not that Mark was ugly—he just looked pretty ordinary.
"He was so handsome, wasn't he, Aunt Rachel?" my dearie went on, in that patient voice of hers. "So tall and strong and handsome. I wish we hadn't parted in anger. It was so foolish of us to quarrel. But it would have been all right if he had lived to come back. I know it would have been all right. I know he didn't carry any bitterness against me to his death. I thought once, Aunt Rachel, that I would go through life true to him, and then, over on the other side, I'd meet him just as before, all his and his only. But it isn't to be."
"He was so handsome, wasn’t he, Aunt Rachel?" my dearie continued, in that patient tone of hers. "So tall, strong, and handsome. I wish we hadn’t separated in anger. It was so silly of us to fight. But it would have been okay if he had lived to come back. I know it would have been okay. I’m sure he didn’t take any resentment against me to his grave. I once thought, Aunt Rachel, that I would stay true to him throughout my life, and then, on the other side, I’d meet him just like before, completely his and his alone. But that’s not how it’s meant to be."
"Thanks to your stepma's wheedling and Mark Foster's scheming," said I.
"Thanks to your stepmom's coaxing and Mark Foster's plotting," I said.
"No, Mark didn't scheme," she said patiently. "Don't be unjust to Mark, Aunt Rachel. He has been very good and kind."
"No, Mark didn't plan anything," she said calmly. "Don't be unfair to Mark, Aunt Rachel. He's been really good and kind."
"He's as stupid as an owlet and as stubborn as Solomon's mule," I said, for I WOULD say it. "He's just a common fellow, and yet he thinks he's good enough for my beauty."
"He's as dumb as a baby owl and as stubborn as Solomon's mule," I said, because I had to say it. "He's just an ordinary guy, and yet he thinks he's worthy of my beauty."
"Don't talk about Mark," she pleaded again. "I mean to be a good, faithful wife to him. But I'm my own woman yet—YET—for just a few more sweet hours, and I want to give them to HIM. The last hours of my maidenhood—they must belong to HIM."
"Please don’t talk about Mark," she begged again. "I want to be a good, loyal wife to him. But I'm still my own person—FOR JUST A FEW MORE sweet hours, and I want to share them with HIM. The last hours of my maidenhood—they have to be HIS."
So she talked of him, me sitting there and holding her, with her lovely hair hanging down over my arm, and my heart aching so for her that it hurt bitter. She didn't feel as bad as I did, because she'd made up her mind what to do and was resigned. She was going to marry Mark Foster, but her heart was in France, in that grave nobody knew of, where the Huns had buried Owen Blair—if they had buried him at all. And she went over all they had been to each other, since they were mites of babies, going to school together and meaning, even then, to be married when they grew up; and the first words of love he'd said to her, and what she'd dreamed and hoped for. The only thing she didn't bring up was the time he thrashed Mark Foster for bringing her apples. She never mentioned Mark's name; it was all Owen—Owen—and how he looked, and what might have been, if he hadn't gone off to the awful war and got shot. And there was me, holding her and listening to it all, and her stepma sleeping sound and triumphant in the next room.
So she talked about him, me sitting there holding her, with her beautiful hair draped over my arm, and my heart aching for her so much it hurt. She didn't feel as bad as I did because she had decided what to do and accepted it. She was going to marry Mark Foster, but her heart was in France, at that grave nobody knew about, where the Germans had buried Owen Blair—if they had buried him at all. And she went over everything they had shared since they were little kids, going to school together and always planning to get married when they grew up; and the first words of love he’d said to her, and all her dreams and hopes. The only thing she didn’t mention was the time he beat up Mark Foster for bringing her apples. She never said Mark's name; it was all Owen—Owen—and how he looked, and what might have been if he hadn’t gone off to that awful war and gotten shot. And there I was, holding her and listening to all of it, while her stepmother slept soundly and triumphantly in the next room.
When she had talked it all out she lay down on her pillow again. I got up and went downstairs to light the fire. I felt terrible old and tired. My feet seemed to drag, and the tears kept coming to my eyes, though I tried to keep them away, for well I knew it was a bad omen to be weeping on a wedding day.
When she finished talking, she laid down on her pillow again. I got up and went downstairs to start the fire. I felt really old and tired. My feet felt heavy, and tears kept welling up in my eyes, even though I tried to hold them back, because I knew it was a bad sign to be crying on a wedding day.
Before long Isabella Clark came down; bright and pleased-looking enough, SHE was. I'd never liked Isabella, from the day Phillippa's father brought her here; and I liked her less than ever this morning. She was one of your sly, deep women, always smiling smooth, and scheming underneath it. I'll say it for her, though, she had been good to Phillippa; but it was her doings that my dearie was to marry Mark Foster that day.
Before long, Isabella Clark came down; she looked bright and happy enough. I had never liked Isabella, ever since Phillippa's father brought her here, and I liked her even less this morning. She was one of those sneaky, cunning women, always smiling sweetly while plotting something underneath. I’ll give her credit, though; she had been good to Phillippa. But it was her influence that led my dearie to marry Mark Foster that day.
"Up betimes, Rachel," she said, smiling and speaking me fair, as she always did, and hating me in her heart, as I well knew. "That is right, for we'll have plenty to do to-day. A wedding makes lots of work."
"Get up early, Rachel," she said, smiling and speaking to me nicely, as she always did, while secretly resenting me, as I knew all too well. "That's good, because we have a lot to do today. A wedding creates a lot of work."
"Not this sort of a wedding," I said, sour-like. "I don't call it a wedding when two people get married and sneak off as if they were ashamed of it—as well they might be in this case."
"Not this kind of wedding," I said, sounding bitter. "I don't consider it a wedding when two people get married and sneak off as if they're embarrassed about it—as they might be in this situation."
"It was Phillippa's own wish that all should be very quiet," said Isabella, as smooth as cream. "You know I'd have given her a big wedding, if she'd wanted it."
"It was Phillippa's own wish that everything should be really quiet," said Isabella, as smooth as cream. "You know I would have given her a big wedding if she had wanted it."
"Oh, it's better quiet," I said. "The fewer to see Phillippa marry a man like Mark Foster the better."
"Oh, it's better to keep it low-key," I said. "The fewer people who see Phillippa marry a guy like Mark Foster, the better."
"Mark Foster is a good man, Rachel."
"Mark Foster is a good guy, Rachel."
"No good man would be content to buy a girl as he's bought Phillippa," I said, determined to give it in to her. "He's a common fellow, not fit for my dearie to wipe her feet on. It's well that her mother didn't live to see this day; but this day would never have come, if she'd lived."
"No decent guy would be okay with buying a girl the way he bought Phillippa," I said, determined to make my point. "He's a nobody, not someone my dear girl should even think about. It's a good thing her mother didn't live to see this day; but if she had, this day would never have happened."
"I dare say Phillippa's mother would have remembered that Mark Foster is very well off, quite as readily as worse people," said Isabella, a little spitefully.
"I bet Phillippa's mom would remember that Mark Foster is pretty wealthy just as easily as worse people," said Isabella, a bit spitefully.
I liked her better when she was spiteful than when she was smooth. I didn't feel so scared of her then.
I preferred her when she was spiteful rather than when she was charming. I didn't feel as intimidated by her back then.
The marriage was to be at eleven o'clock, and, at nine, I went up to help Phillippa dress. She was no fussy bride, caring much what she looked like. If Owen had been the bridegroom it would have been different. Nothing would have pleased her then; but now it was only just "That will do very well, Aunt Rachel," without even glancing at it.
The wedding was set for eleven o'clock, so at nine, I went up to help Phillippa get ready. She wasn't a high-maintenance bride and didn't care much about her appearance. If Owen had been the groom, it would have been a different story. Nothing would have satisfied her then; but now it was just, "That will do just fine, Aunt Rachel," without even looking at it.
Still, nothing could prevent her from looking lovely when she was dressed. My dearie would have been a beauty in a beggarmaid's rags. In her white dress and veil she was as fair as a queen. And she was as good as she was pretty. It was the right sort of goodness, too, with just enough spice of original sin in it to keep it from spoiling by reason of over-sweetness.
Still, nothing could stop her from looking beautiful when she was dressed. My dear would have been stunning even in a beggar's rags. In her white dress and veil, she looked as lovely as a queen. And she was as kind as she was pretty. It was the right kind of goodness, too, with just the right hint of mischief to keep it from being too sugary.
Then she sent me out.
Then she sent me away.
"I want to be alone my last hour," she said. "Kiss me, Aunt Rachel—MOTHER Rachel."
"I want to be alone for my last hour," she said. "Kiss me, Aunt Rachel—MOM Rachel."
When I'd gone down, crying like the old fool I was, I heard a rap at the door. My first thought was to go out and send Isabella to it, for I supposed it was Mark Foster, come ahead of time, and small stomach I had for seeing him. I fall trembling, even yet, when I think, "What if I had sent Isabella to that door?"
When I went downstairs, crying like the fool I was, I heard a knock at the door. My first thought was to go out and send Isabella to answer it, since I figured it was Mark Foster arriving early, and I was in no mood to see him. I still shudder when I think, "What if I had sent Isabella to that door?"
But go I did, and opened it, defiant-like, kind of hoping it was Mark Foster to see the tears on my face. I opened it—and staggered back like I'd got a blow.
But I went ahead and opened it, feeling defiant, kind of hoping it was Mark Foster so he could see the tears on my face. I opened it—and reeled back like I had been punched.
"Owen! Lord ha' mercy on us! Owen!" I said, just like that, going cold all over, for it's the truth that I thought it was his spirit come back to forbid that unholy marriage.
"Owen! Lord have mercy on us! Owen!" I said, feeling a chill run through me, because honestly, I thought it was his spirit returning to stop that unholy marriage.
But he sprang right in, and caught my wrinkled old hands in a grasp that was of flesh and blood.
But he jumped right in and took my wrinkled old hands in a grip that was warm and real.
"Aunt Rachel, I'm not too late?" he said, savage-like. "Tell me I'm in time."
"Aunt Rachel, I'm not too late?" he asked, sounding desperate. "Please tell me I made it in time."
I looked up at him, standing over me there, tall and handsome, no change in him except he was so brown and had a little white scar on his forehead; and, though I couldn't understand at all, being all bewildered-like, I felt a great deep thankfulness.
I looked up at him, standing above me, tall and good-looking, unchanged except for his sun-kissed skin and the small white scar on his forehead; and even though I was completely confused, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude.
"No, you're not too late," I said.
"No, you're not too late," I said.
"Thank God," said he, under his breath. And then he pulled me into the parlor and shut the door.
"Thank God," he muttered under his breath. Then he pulled me into the parlor and shut the door.
"They told me at the station that Phillippa was to be married to Mark Foster to-day. I couldn't believe it, but I came here as fast as horse-flesh could bring me. Aunt Rachel, it can't be true! She can't care for Mark Foster, even if she had forgotten me!"
"They told me at the station that Phillippa was getting married to Mark Foster today. I couldn't believe it, but I rushed over as fast as I could. Aunt Rachel, it can't be true! She can't possibly care for Mark Foster, even if she has forgotten about me!"
"It's true enough that she is to marry Mark," I said, half-laughing, half-crying, "but she doesn't care for him. Every beat of her heart is for you. It's all her stepma's doings. Mark has got a mortgage on the place, and he told Isabella Clark that, if Phillippa would marry him, he'd burn the mortgage, and, if she wouldn't, he'd foreclose. Phillippa is sacrificing herself to save her stepma for her dead father's sake. It's all your fault," I cried, getting over my bewilderment. "We thought you were dead. Why didn't you come home when you were alive? Why didn't you write?"
"It's true that she's going to marry Mark," I said, half-laughing, half-crying, "but she doesn't love him. Every beat of her heart is for you. It's all her stepmom's fault. Mark has a mortgage on the place, and he told Isabella Clark that if Phillippa married him, he'd wipe out the mortgage, and if she didn't, he'd foreclose. Phillippa is giving up her happiness to save her stepmom for her late father's sake. It's all your fault," I shouted, overcoming my confusion. "We thought you were dead. Why didn't you come home when you were alive? Why didn't you write?"
"I DID write, after I got out of the hospital, several times," he said, "and never a word in answer, Aunt Rachel. What was I to think when Phillippa wouldn't answer my letters?"
"I did write several times after I got out of the hospital," he said, "and not a single word in reply, Aunt Rachel. What was I supposed to think when Phillippa wouldn’t respond to my letters?"
"She never got one," I cried. "She wept her sweet eyes out over you. SOMEBODY must have got those letters."
"She never got one," I shouted. "She cried her heart out over you. SOMEBODY must have received those letters."
And I knew then, and I know now, though never a shadow of proof have I, that Isabella Clark had got them—and kept them. That woman would stick at nothing.
And I knew then, and I know now, even though I have no proof at all, that Isabella Clark had them—and held on to them. That woman would do anything.
"Well, we'll sift that matter some other time," said Owen impatiently. "There are other things to think of now. I must see Phillippa."
"Well, we'll sort that out another time," Owen said impatiently. "There are other things to focus on right now. I need to see Phillippa."
"I'll manage it for you," I said eagerly; but, just as I spoke, the door opened and Isabella and Mark came in. Never shall I forget the look on Isabella's face. I almost felt sorry for her. She turned sickly yellow and her eyes went wild; they were looking at the downfall of all her schemes and hopes. I didn't look at Mark Foster, at first, and, when I did, there wasn't anything to see. His face was just as sallow and wooden as ever; he looked undersized and common beside Owen. Nobody'd ever have picked him out for a bridegroom.
"I'll take care of it for you," I said eagerly; but just as I spoke, the door opened and Isabella and Mark walked in. I'll never forget the look on Isabella's face. I almost felt bad for her. She turned a sickly yellow and her eyes went wild; they were filled with the realization of all her plans and dreams falling apart. I didn’t look at Mark Foster at first, and when I finally did, there was nothing to see. His face was as pale and expressionless as always; he looked small and ordinary next to Owen. No one would have ever chosen him as a groom.
Owen spoke first.
Owen went first.
"I want to see Phillippa," he said, as if it were but yesterday that he had gone away.
"I want to see Phillippa," he said, as if he had just left yesterday.
All Isabella's smoothness and policy had dropped away from her, and the real woman stood there, plotting and unscrupulous, as I'd always know her.
All of Isabella's charm and cunning had faded, and the real woman was there, scheming and ruthless, just as I'd always known her.
"You can't see her," she said desperate-like. "She doesn't want to see you. You went and left her and never wrote, and she knew you weren't worth fretting over, and she has learned to care for a better man."
"You can't see her," she said desperately. "She doesn't want to see you. You left her and never wrote, and she realized you weren't worth worrying about, and she has learned to care for someone better."
"I DID write and I think you know that better than most folks," said Owen, trying hard to speak quiet. "As for the rest, I'm not going to discuss it with you. When I hear from Phillippa's own lips that she cares for another man I'll believe it—and not before."
"I did write, and I think you know that better than most people," said Owen, trying hard to keep his voice low. "As for the rest, I'm not going to talk about it with you. When I hear from Phillippa herself that she cares for another man, I'll believe it—and not before."
"You'll never hear it from her lips," said I.
"You'll never hear it from her mouth," I said.
Isabella gave me a venomous look.
Isabella shot me a poisonous glare.
"You'll not see Phillippa until she is a better man's wife," she said stubbornly, "and I order you to leave my house, Owen Blair!"
"You won't see Phillippa until she's married to a better man," she said stubbornly. "And I'm telling you to leave my house, Owen Blair!"
"No!"
"No way!"
It was Mark Foster who spoke. He hadn't said a word; but he came forward now, and stood before Owen. Such a difference as there was between them! But he looked Owen right in the face, quiet-like, and Owen glared back in fury.
It was Mark Foster who spoke. He hadn't said a word, but he stepped forward now and stood in front of Owen. What a difference there was between them! But he looked Owen straight in the eye, calmly, and Owen glared back in rage.
"Will it satisfy you, Owen, if Phillippa comes down here and chooses between us?"
"Will it make you happy, Owen, if Phillippa comes down here and decides between us?"
"Yes, it will," said Owen.
"Yeah, it will," said Owen.
Mark Foster turned to me.
Mark Foster faced me.
"Go and bring her down," said he.
"Go and get her," he said.
Isabella, judging Phillippa by herself, gave a little moan of despair, and Owen, blinded by love and hope, thought his cause was won. But I knew my dearie too well to be glad, and Mark Foster did, too, and I hated him for it.
Isabella, comparing Phillippa to herself, let out a small sigh of despair, and Owen, lost in love and optimism, believed he had succeeded. But I understood my dear friend too well to feel happy about it, and Mark Foster did too, and I resented him for it.
I went up to my dearie's room, all pale and shaking. When I went in she came to meet me, like a girl going to meet death.
I went up to my sweetheart's room, all pale and trembling. When I entered, she came to greet me, like someone approaching death.
"Is—it—time?" she said, with her hands locked tight together.
"Is it time?" she asked, her hands tightly clasped together.
I said not a word, hoping that the unlooked-for sight of Owen would break down her resolution. I just held out my hand to her, and led her downstairs. She clung to me and her hands were as cold as snow. When I opened the parlor door I stood back, and pushed her in before me.
I didn’t say anything, hoping that unexpectedly seeing Owen would make her change her mind. I simply reached out my hand to her and guided her downstairs. She held onto me tightly, and her hands felt as cold as ice. When I opened the parlor door, I stepped aside and nudged her in front of me.
She just cried, "Owen!" and shook so that I put my arms about her to steady her.
She just yelled, "Owen!" and shook so much that I wrapped my arms around her to steady her.
Owen made a step towards her, his face and eyes all aflame with his love and longing, but Mark barred his way.
Owen took a step towards her, his face and eyes glowing with his love and desire, but Mark blocked his path.
"Wait till she has made her choice," he said, and then he turned to Phillippa. I couldn't see my dearie's face, but I could see Mark's, and there wasn't a spark of feeling in it. Behind it was Isabella's, all pinched and gray.
"Wait until she makes her choice," he said, and then he turned to Phillippa. I couldn't see my dearest's face, but I could see Mark's, and there wasn't a spark of emotion in it. Behind him was Isabella's, all pinched and gray.
"Phillippa," said Mark, "Owen Blair has come back. He says he has never forgotten you, and that he wrote to you several times. I have told him that you have promised me, but I leave you freedom of choice. Which of us will you marry, Phillippa?"
"Phillippa," Mark said, "Owen Blair is back. He says he’s never forgotten you and that he wrote to you several times. I’ve told him you’ve promised me, but I’m leaving it up to you. Which one of us will you marry, Phillippa?"
My dearie stood straight up and the trembling left her. She stepped back, and I could see her face, white as the dead, but calm and resolved.
My dear stood tall, and the shaking left her. She took a step back, and I could see her face, pale like a corpse, yet calm and determined.
"I have promised to marry you, Mark, and I will keep my word," she said.
"I've promised to marry you, Mark, and I will keep my promise," she said.
The color came back to Isabella Clark's face; but Mark's did not change.
The color returned to Isabella Clark's face, but Mark's remained the same.
"Phillippa," said Owen, and the pain in his voice made my old heart ache bitterer than ever, "have you ceased to love me?"
"Phillippa," Owen said, and the pain in his voice made my old heart ache more than ever, "have you stopped loving me?"
My dearie would have been more than human, if she could have resisted the pleading in his tone. She said no word, but just looked at him for a moment. We all saw the look; her whole soul, full of love for Owen, showed out in it. Then she turned and stood by Mark.
My dear would have been superhuman if she could have ignored the pleading in his voice. She didn’t say anything, just looked at him for a moment. We all noticed the look; her entire being, filled with love for Owen, shone through it. Then she turned and stood next to Mark.
Owen never said a word. He went as white as death, and started for the door. But again Mark Foster put himself in the way.
Owen didn’t say a thing. He turned as pale as a ghost and headed for the door. But once again, Mark Foster blocked his path.
"Wait," he said. "She has made her choice, as I knew she would; but I have yet to make mine. And I choose to marry no woman whose love belongs to another living man. Phillippa, I thought Owen Blair was dead, and I believed that, when you were my wife, I could win your love. But I love you too well to make you miserable. Go to the man you love—you are free!"
"Wait," he said. "She made her choice, just like I expected; but I still have to make mine. And I choose not to marry any woman whose heart belongs to another man. Phillippa, I thought Owen Blair was dead, and I believed that, once you were my wife, I could earn your love. But I care about you too much to make you unhappy. Go to the man you love—you’re free!"
"And what is to become of me?" wailed Isabella.
"And what will happen to me?" wailed Isabella.
"Oh, you!—I had forgotten about you," said Mark, kind of weary-like. He took a paper from his pocket, and dropped it in the grate. "There is the mortgage. That is all you care about, I think. Good-morning."
"Oh, you!—I almost forgot about you," said Mark, sounding a bit tired. He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and tossed it into the fireplace. "There's the mortgage. That's all you care about, right? Good morning."
He went out. He was only a common fellow, but, somehow, just then he looked every inch the gentleman. I would have gone after him and said something but—the look on his face—no, it was no time for my foolish old words!
He stepped outside. He was just an ordinary guy, but, for some reason, at that moment he looked every bit like a gentleman. I would have followed him and said something, but—the expression on his face—no, it wasn't the right time for my silly old words!
Phillippa was crying, with her head on Owen's shoulder. Isabella Clark waited to see the mortgage burned up, and then she came to me in the hall, all smooth and smiling again.
Phillippa was crying, resting her head on Owen's shoulder. Isabella Clark waited to see the mortgage go up in flames, and then she came to me in the hall, looking smooth and smiling again.
"Really, it's all very romantic, isn't it? I suppose it's better as it is, all things considered. Mark behaved splendidly, didn't he? Not many men would have done as he did."
"Really, it's all very romantic, isn't it? I guess it's better this way, considering everything. Mark acted incredibly well, didn't he? Not many guys would have done what he did."
For once in my life I agreed with Isabella. But I felt like having a good cry over it all—and I had it. I was glad for my dearie's sake and Owen's; but Mark Foster had paid the price of their joy, and I knew it had beggared him of happiness for life.
For once in my life, I agreed with Isabella. But I felt like having a good cry about it all—and I did. I was happy for my dearie and Owen, but Mark Foster had paid the price for their happiness, and I knew it had robbed him of joy for life.
XV. TANNIS OF THE FLATS
Few people in Avonlea could understand why Elinor Blair had never married. She had been one of the most beautiful girls in our part of the Island and, as a woman of fifty, she was still very attractive. In her youth she had had ever so many beaux, as we of our generation well remembered; but, after her return from visiting her brother Tom in the Canadian Northwest, more than twenty-five years ago, she had seemed to withdraw within herself, keeping all men at a safe, though friendly, distance. She had been a gay, laughing girl when she went West; she came back quiet and serious, with a shadowed look in her eyes which time could not quite succeed in blotting out.
Few people in Avonlea could understand why Elinor Blair had never married. She had been one of the most beautiful girls in our part of the Island, and at fifty, she was still very attractive. In her youth, she had many suitors, as those of us in our generation well remembered. However, after her visit to her brother Tom in the Canadian Northwest more than twenty-five years ago, she seemed to pull away, keeping all men at a safe, yet friendly, distance. She had been a lively, laughing girl when she went West; she returned quiet and serious, with a shadowed look in her eyes that time couldn't completely erase.
Elinor had never talked much about her visit, except to describe the scenery and the life, which in that day was rough indeed. Not even to me, who had grown up next door to her and who had always seemed more a sister than a friend, did she speak of other than the merest commonplaces. But when Tom Blair made a flying trip back home, some ten years later, there were one or two of us to whom he related the story of Jerome Carey,—a story revealing only too well the reason for Elinor's sad eyes and utter indifference to masculine attentions. I can recall almost his exact words and the inflections of his voice, and I remember, too, that it seemed to me a far cry from the tranquil, pleasant scene before us, on that lovely summer day, to the elemental life of the Flats.
Elinor never really talked much about her visit, other than to describe the scenery and the tough life back then. Not even to me, who grew up next door and felt more like a sister than a friend, did she share anything beyond small talk. But when Tom Blair made a quick trip back home about ten years later, there were a couple of us who he told the story of Jerome Carey to—a story that made it all too clear why Elinor had such sad eyes and seemed so indifferent to guys' attention. I can almost remember his exact words and the way he spoke, and I also recall that it felt like a huge contrast from the calm, beautiful scene in front of us on that lovely summer day to the raw life of the Flats.
The Flats was a forlorn little trading station fifteen miles up the river from Prince Albert, with a scanty population of half-breeds and three white men. When Jerome Carey was sent to take charge of the telegraph office there, he cursed his fate in the picturesque language permissible in the far Northwest.
The Flats was a sad little trading post fifteen miles up the river from Prince Albert, with a small population of half-breeds and three white men. When Jerome Carey was sent to run the telegraph office there, he cursed his luck in the colorful language allowed in the far Northwest.
Not that Carey was a profane man, even as men go in the West. He was an English gentleman, and he kept both his life and his vocabulary pretty clean. But—the Flats!
Not that Carey was a foul-mouthed guy, even by Western standards. He was an English gentleman, and he kept both his life and his language pretty clean. But—the Flats!
Outside of the ragged cluster of log shacks, which comprised the settlement, there was always a shifting fringe of teepees where the Indians, who drifted down from the Reservation, camped with their dogs and squaws and papooses. There are standpoints from which Indians are interesting, but they cannot be said to offer congenial social attractions. For three weeks after Carey went to the Flats he was lonelier than he had ever imagined it possible to be, even in the Great Lone Land. If it had not been for teaching Paul Dumont the telegraphic code, Carey believed he would have been driven to suicide in self-defense.
Outside of the rundown group of log cabins that made up the settlement, there was always a changing edge of teepees where the Native Americans, who came down from the Reservation, camped with their dogs, women, and children. There are perspectives from which Native Americans are fascinating, but they can’t be said to provide welcoming social connections. For three weeks after Carey moved to the Flats, he felt lonelier than he ever thought possible, even in the Great Lone Land. If it hadn’t been for teaching Paul Dumont the telegraph code, Carey believed he would have been pushed to the brink of suicide just to escape the loneliness.
The telegraphic importance of the Flats consisted in the fact that it was the starting point of three telegraph lines to remote trading posts up North. Not many messages came therefrom, but the few that did come generally amounted to something worth while. Days and even weeks would pass without a single one being clicked to the Flats. Carey was debarred from talking over the wires to the Prince Albert man for the reason that they were on officially bad terms. He blamed the latter for his transfer to the Flats.
The key importance of the Flats was that it was the starting point for three telegraph lines to distant trading posts up North. Not many messages came from there, but the few that did were usually significant. Days and even weeks would go by without a single message being sent to the Flats. Carey couldn't communicate over the wires with the Prince Albert guy because they were officially on bad terms. He blamed him for his transfer to the Flats.
Carey slept in a loft over the office, and got his meals at Joe Esquint's, across the "street." Joe Esquint's wife was a good cook, as cooks go among the breeds, and Carey soon became a great pet of hers. Carey had a habit of becoming a pet with women. He had the "way" that has to be born in a man and can never be acquired. Besides, he was as handsome as clean-cut features, deep-set, dark-blue eyes, fair curls and six feet of muscle could make him. Mrs. Joe Esquint thought that his mustache was the most wonderfully beautiful thing, in its line, that she had ever seen.
Carey slept in a loft above the office and got his meals at Joe Esquint's place across the street. Joe Esquint's wife was a great cook, as far as cooks go, and Carey quickly became one of her favorites. He had a knack for winning the affection of women. It was a charm that a man either has or doesn’t, and it can't be learned. Plus, he was as attractive as his clean-cut features, deep-set, dark-blue eyes, fair curls, and six feet of muscle allowed. Mrs. Joe Esquint thought his mustache was the most beautiful thing of its kind she had ever seen.
Fortunately, Mrs. Joe was so old and fat and ugly that even the malicious and inveterate gossip of skulking breeds and Indians, squatting over teepee fires, could not hint at anything questionable in the relations between her and Carey. But it was a different matter with Tannis Dumont.
Fortunately, Mrs. Joe was so old, overweight, and unattractive that even the spiteful and habitual gossip of lurking breeds and Indians, sitting around teepee fires, couldn’t suggest anything suspicious about her relationship with Carey. But the situation was different with Tannis Dumont.
Tannis came home from the academy at Prince Albert early in July, when Carey had been at the Flats a month and had exhausted all the few novelties of his position. Paul Dumont had already become so expert at the code that his mistakes no longer afforded Carey any fun, and the latter was getting desperate. He had serious intentions of throwing up the business altogether, and betaking himself to an Alberta ranch, where at least one would have the excitement of roping horses. When he saw Tannis Dumont he thought he would hang on awhile longer, anyway.
Tannis came home from the academy at Prince Albert early in July, when Carey had been at the Flats for a month and had run out of the few new experiences his position offered. Paul Dumont had become so skilled at the code that his mistakes no longer entertained Carey, and he was starting to feel hopeless. He seriously considered quitting the job altogether and moving to an Alberta ranch, where he could at least enjoy the thrill of roping horses. But when he saw Tannis Dumont, he decided to stick it out a little longer, anyway.
Tannis was the daughter of old Auguste Dumont, who kept the one small store at the Flats, lived in the one frame house that the place boasted, and was reputed to be worth an amount of money which, in half-breed eyes, was a colossal fortune. Old Auguste was black and ugly and notoriously bad-tempered. But Tannis was a beauty.
Tannis was the daughter of old Auguste Dumont, who ran the only small store at the Flats, lived in the one house that the place had, and was said to be worth an amount of money that, in the eyes of the mixed heritage community, was a huge fortune. Old Auguste was black and unattractive and famously grumpy. But Tannis was stunning.
Tannis' great-grandmother had been a Cree squaw who married a French trapper. The son of this union became in due time the father of Auguste Dumont. Auguste married a woman whose mother was a French half-breed and whose father was a pure-bred Highland Scotchman. The result of this atrocious mixture was its justification—Tannis of the Flats—who looked as if all the blood of all the Howards might be running in her veins.
Tannis' great-grandmother was a Cree woman who married a French trapper. Their son eventually became the father of Auguste Dumont. Auguste married a woman whose mother was of mixed French heritage and whose father was a pure-bred Highland Scott. The outcome of this unusual combination was Tannis of the Flats, who appeared as if all the blood of the Howards flowed through her veins.
But, after all, the dominant current in those same veins was from the race of plain and prairie. The practiced eye detected it in the slender stateliness of carriage, in the graceful, yet voluptuous, curves of the lithe body, in the smallness and delicacy of hand and foot, in the purple sheen on straight-falling masses of blue-black hair, and, more than all else, in the long, dark eye, full and soft, yet alight with a slumbering fire. France, too, was responsible for somewhat in Tannis. It gave her a light step in place of the stealthy half-breed shuffle, it arched her red upper lip into a more tremulous bow, it lent a note of laughter to her voice and a sprightlier wit to her tongue. As for her red-headed Scotch grandfather, he had bequeathed her a somewhat whiter skin and ruddier bloom than is usually found in the breeds.
But, ultimately, the main influence in her lineage was from the plain and prairie heritage. A trained eye could see it in her elegant posture, the graceful yet curvy shape of her slim body, the small and delicate hands and feet, the purple sheen of her straight, flowing blue-black hair, and most importantly, in her long, dark eyes—full and soft, yet sparkling with a hidden fire. France also played a role in shaping Tannis. It gave her a light step instead of the stealthy half-breed shuffle, made her red upper lip more pronounced, and added a playful tone to her voice along with sharper wit. As for her red-headed Scottish grandfather, he passed down a slightly lighter skin tone and a healthier flush than is typically seen in her mixed heritage.
Old Auguste was mightily proud of Tannis. He sent her to school for four years in Prince Albert, bound that his girl should have the best. A High School course and considerable mingling in the social life of the town—for old Auguste was a man to be conciliated by astute politicians, since he controlled some two or three hundred half-breed votes—sent Tannis home to the Flats with a very thin, but very deceptive, veneer of culture and civilization overlying the primitive passions and ideas of her nature.
Old Auguste was extremely proud of Tannis. He sent her to school for four years in Prince Albert, determined that his daughter should have the best. A high school education and significant involvement in the town's social life—since old Auguste was someone whom savvy politicians wanted to please, as he had control over around two or three hundred mixed-race votes—returned Tannis home to the Flats with a very thin, but misleading, layer of culture and civilization covering the basic instincts and ideas of her nature.
Carey saw only the beauty and the veneer. He made the mistake of thinking that Tannis was what she seemed to be—a fairly well-educated, up-to-date young woman with whom a friendly flirtation was just what it was with white womankind—the pleasant amusement of an hour or season. It was a mistake—a very big mistake. Tannis understood something of piano playing, something less of grammar and Latin, and something less still of social prevarications. But she understood absolutely nothing of flirtation. You can never get an Indian to see the sense of Platonics.
Carey only saw the surface and the charm. He mistakenly thought that Tannis was what she appeared to be—a reasonably well-educated, modern young woman with whom a casual flirtation was just what it was with white women—the enjoyable distraction of an hour or a season. It was a mistake—a huge mistake. Tannis knew a bit about playing the piano, knew even less about grammar and Latin, and knew even less about social lies. But she knew absolutely nothing about flirtation. You can never get an Indian to understand the idea of Platonic relationships.
Carey found the Flats quite tolerable after the homecoming of Tannis. He soon fell into the habit of dropping into the Dumont house to spend the evening, talking with Tannis in the parlor—which apartment was amazingly well done for a place like the Flats—Tannis had not studied Prince Albert parlors four years for nothing—or playing violin and piano duets with her. When music and conversation palled, they went for long gallops over the prairies together. Tannis rode to perfection, and managed her bad-tempered brute of a pony with a skill and grace that made Carey applaud her. She was glorious on horseback.
Carey found the Flats quite pleasant after Tannis returned home. He quickly got into the routine of visiting the Dumont house in the evenings, chatting with Tannis in the parlor—which was surprisingly well-furnished for a place like the Flats. Tannis had spent four years studying Prince Albert parlors for a reason—or they would play violin and piano duets together. When music and conversation became dull, they would take long rides across the prairies together. Tannis rode like a pro and handled her moody pony with a skill and grace that made Carey admire her. She was stunning on horseback.
Sometimes he grew tired of the prairies and then he and Tannis paddled themselves over the river in Nitchie Joe's dug-out, and landed on the old trail that struck straight into the wooded belt of the Saskatchewan valley, leading north to trading posts on the frontier of civilization. There they rambled under huge pines, hoary with the age of centuries, and Carey talked to Tannis about England and quoted poetry to her. Tannis liked poetry; she had studied it at school, and understood it fairly well. But once she told Carey that she thought it a long, round-about way of saying what you could say just as well in about a dozen plain words. Carey laughed. He liked to evoke those little speeches of hers. They sounded very clever, dropping from such arched, ripely-tinted lips.
Sometimes he got tired of the prairies, so he and Tannis took Nitchie Joe's canoe across the river and landed on the old trail that led straight into the wooded area of the Saskatchewan valley, heading north to trading posts on the edge of civilization. There, they wandered under massive pines, ancient and weathered, and Carey talked to Tannis about England and recited poetry to her. Tannis enjoyed poetry; she had studied it in school and understood it quite well. But once she told Carey that she thought it was a long, roundabout way of saying what you could express just as easily in about a dozen simple words. Carey laughed. He loved to bring out those little comments of hers. They sounded really smart coming from such eloquent, beautifully-shaped lips.
If you had told Carey that he was playing with fire he would have laughed at you. In the first place he was not in the slightest degree in love with Tannis—he merely admired and liked her. In the second place, it never occurred to him that Tannis might be in love with him. Why, he had never attempted any love-making with her! And, above all, he was obsessed with that aforesaid fatal idea that Tannis was like the women he had associated with all his life, in reality as well as in appearance. He did not know enough of the racial characteristics to understand.
If you had told Carey that he was playing with fire, he would have laughed at you. First of all, he wasn’t in the slightest bit in love with Tannis—he simply admired and liked her. Secondly, it never crossed his mind that Tannis might be in love with him. After all, he had never tried to flirt with her! And, most importantly, he was fixated on the mistaken belief that Tannis was just like the women he had spent his life with, both in reality and appearance. He didn’t understand enough about racial characteristics to see the difference.
But, if Carey thought his relationship with Tannis was that of friendship merely, he was the only one at the Flats who did think so. All the half-breeds and quarter-breeds and any-fractional breeds there believed that he meant to marry Tannis. There would have been nothing surprising to them in that. They did not know that Carey's second cousin was a baronet, and they would not have understood that it need make any difference, if they had. They thought that rich old Auguste's heiress, who had been to school for four years in Prince Albert, was a catch for anybody.
But if Carey thought his relationship with Tannis was just a friendship, he was the only one at the Flats who believed that. All the half-breeds and quarter-breeds and any-fractional breeds there thought that he planned to marry Tannis. They wouldn't have found that surprising at all. They didn't know that Carey's second cousin was a baronet, and even if they had, they wouldn't have understood why it mattered. They thought that rich old Auguste's heiress, who had spent four years in school in Prince Albert, was a great catch for anyone.
Old Auguste himself shrugged his shoulders over it and was well-pleased enough. An Englishman was a prize by way of a husband for a half-breed girl, even if he were only a telegraph operator. Young Paul Dumont worshipped Carey, and the half-Scotch mother, who might have understood, was dead. In all the Flats there were but two people who disapproved of the match they thought an assured thing. One of these was the little priest, Father Gabriel. He liked Tannis, and he liked Carey; but he shook his head dubiously when he heard the gossip of the shacks and teepees. Religions might mingle, but the different bloods—ah, it was not the right thing! Tannis was a good girl, and a beautiful one; but she was no fit mate for the fair, thorough-bred Englishman. Father Gabriel wished fervently that Jerome Carey might soon be transferred elsewhere. He even went to Prince Albert and did a little wire-pulling on his own account, but nothing came of it. He was on the wrong side of politics.
Old Auguste shrugged it off and was pretty satisfied. An Englishman was quite a catch as a husband for a mixed-race girl, even if he was just a telegraph operator. Young Paul Dumont adored Carey, and his half-Scottish mother, who might have understood, was dead. In all the Flats, only two people disapproved of the match that everyone else thought was a sure thing. One of them was the little priest, Father Gabriel. He liked Tannis and he liked Carey; but he shook his head uncertainly when he heard the gossip from the shacks and teepees. Religions might blend, but different bloodlines—ah, that just wasn’t right! Tannis was a good girl and a beautiful one; but she wasn’t a suitable match for the fair, purebred Englishman. Father Gabriel fervently wished that Jerome Carey would be transferred elsewhere. He even went to Prince Albert and tried to pull some strings on his own, but nothing came of it. He was on the wrong side of politics.
The other malcontent was Lazarre Mérimée, a lazy, besotted French half-breed, who was, after his fashion, in love with Tannis. He could never have got her, and he knew it—old Auguste and young Paul would have incontinently riddled him with bullets had he ventured near the house as a suitor,—but he hated Carey none the less, and watched for a chance to do him an ill-turn. There is no worse enemy in all the world than a half-breed. Your true Indian is bad enough, but his diluted descendant is ten times worse.
The other troublemaker was Lazarre Mérimée, a lazy, lovesick French half-breed who was, in his own way, in love with Tannis. He knew he could never win her over—old Auguste and young Paul would have shot him on sight if he dared approach the house as a suitor—but that didn’t stop him from hating Carey, and he looked for an opportunity to get back at him. There’s no worse enemy in the world than a half-breed. A true Indian can be bad enough, but his diluted descendant is ten times worse.
As for Tannis, she loved Carey with all her heart, and that was all there was about it.
As for Tannis, she loved Carey with all her heart, and that was all there was to it.
If Elinor Blair had never gone to Prince Albert there is no knowing what might have happened, after all. Carey, so powerful in propinquity, might even have ended by learning to love Tannis and marrying her, to his own worldly undoing. But Elinor did go to Prince Albert, and her going ended all things for Tannis of the Flats.
If Elinor Blair had never gone to Prince Albert, it’s hard to say what might have happened. Carey, so influenced by being close to her, might have even ended up falling in love with Tannis and marrying her, which could have ruined him in the long run. But Elinor did go to Prince Albert, and that changed everything for Tannis of the Flats.
Carey met her one evening in September, when he had ridden into town to attend a dance, leaving Paul Dumont in charge of the telegraph office. Elinor had just arrived in Prince Albert on a visit to Tom, to which she had been looking forward during the five years since he had married and moved out West from Avonlea. As I have already said, she was very beautiful at that time, and Carey fell in love with her at the first moment of their meeting.
Carey met her one evening in September when he rode into town for a dance, leaving Paul Dumont in charge of the telegraph office. Elinor had just arrived in Prince Albert to visit Tom, a trip she had been looking forward to for five years since he married and moved out West from Avonlea. As I've already mentioned, she was very beautiful at that time, and Carey fell in love with her the moment they met.
During the next three weeks he went to town nine times and called at the Dumonts' only once. There were no more rides and walks with Tannis. This was not intentional neglect on his part. He had simply forgotten all about her. The breeds surmised a lover's quarrel, but Tannis understood. There was another woman back there in town.
During the next three weeks, he went to town nine times and visited the Dumonts' only once. There were no more rides or walks with Tannis. This wasn't intentional neglect on his part; he had just completely forgotten about her. The locals speculated about a lover's quarrel, but Tannis understood. There was another woman back in town.
It would be quite impossible to put on paper any adequate idea of her emotions at this stage. One night, she followed Carey when he went to Prince Albert, riding out of earshot, behind him on her plains pony, but keeping him in sight. Lazarre, in a fit of jealousy, had followed Tannis, spying on her until she started back to the Flats. After that he watched both Carey and Tannis incessantly, and months later had told Tom all he had learned through his low sneaking.
It would be completely impossible to capture her feelings on paper at this point. One night, she followed Carey when he went to Prince Albert, riding her pony out of earshot but still keeping him in view. Lazarre, feeling jealous, had trailed Tannis, watching her until she headed back to the Flats. After that, he kept an eye on both Carey and Tannis non-stop, and months later, he told Tom everything he had found out through his sneaky spying.
Tannis trailed Carey to the Blair house, on the bluffs above the town, and saw him tie his horse at the gate and enter. She, too, tied her pony to a poplar, lower down, and then crept stealthily through the willows at the side of the house until she was close to the windows. Through one of them she could see Carey and Elinor. The half-breed girl crouched down in the shadow and glared at her rival. She saw the pretty, fair-tinted face, the fluffy coronal of golden hair, the blue, laughing eyes of the woman whom Jerome Carey loved, and she realized very plainly that there was nothing left to hope for. She, Tannis of the Flats, could never compete with that other. It was well to know so much, at least.
Tannis followed Carey to the Blair house, situated on the bluffs above the town, and watched as he tied his horse at the gate and went inside. She also secured her pony to a poplar tree further down and then quietly made her way through the willows beside the house until she was close to the windows. Through one of them, she could see Carey and Elinor. The half-breed girl crouched in the shadows, glaring at her rival. She took in the pretty, fair-skinned face, the fluffy halo of golden hair, and the blue, sparkling eyes of the woman Jerome Carey loved, and she realized clearly that there was nothing left to hope for. She, Tannis from the Flats, could never compete with her. At least it was good to know that much.
After a time, she crept softly away, loosed her pony, and lashed him mercilessly with her whip through the streets of the town and out the long, dusty river trail. A man turned and looked after her as she tore past a brightly lighted store on Water Street.
After a while, she quietly slipped away, untied her pony, and whipped him relentlessly as she raced through the town and down the long, dusty river trail. A man turned and watched her speed by a brightly lit store on Water Street.
"That was Tannis of the Flats," he said to a companion. "She was in town last winter, going to school—a beauty and a bit of the devil, like all those breed girls. What in thunder is she riding like that for?"
"That was Tannis from the Flats," he said to a friend. "She was in town last winter, going to school—a total knockout and a bit troublemaker, like all those girls from the reservation. What the heck is she riding like that for?"
One day, a fortnight later, Carey went over the river alone for a ramble up the northern trail, and an undisturbed dream of Elinor. When he came back Tannis was standing at the canoe landing, under a pine tree, in a rain of finely sifted sunlight. She was waiting for him and she said, without any preface:
One day, two weeks later, Carey crossed the river by himself for a walk up the northern trail, lost in a peaceful dream of Elinor. When he returned, Tannis was standing at the canoe landing, beneath a pine tree, in a shower of soft sunlight. She was waiting for him and said without any introduction:
"Mr. Carey, why do you never come to see me, now?"
"Mr. Carey, why do you never come to see me anymore?"
Carey flushed like any girl. Her tone and look made him feel very uncomfortable. He remembered, self-reproachfully, that he must have seemed very neglectful, and he stammered something about having been busy.
Carey blushed like any girl. Her tone and expression made him feel really uncomfortable. He recalled, feeling guilty, that he must have come across as very neglectful, and he stammered something about being busy.
"Not very busy," said Tannis, with her terrible directness. "It is not that. It is because you are going to Prince Albert to see a white woman!"
"Not very busy," Tannis said bluntly. "It's not that. It's because you're going to Prince Albert to see a white woman!"
Even in his embarrassment Carey noted that this was the first time he had ever heard Tannis use the expression, "a white woman," or any other that would indicate her sense of a difference between herself and the dominant race. He understood, at the same moment, that this girl was not to be trifled with—that she would have the truth out of him, first or last. But he felt indescribably foolish.
Even in his embarrassment, Carey realized that this was the first time he had ever heard Tannis use the term "a white woman," or anything else that showed she was aware of a difference between herself and the dominant race. At that moment, he also understood that this girl was not someone to be taken lightly—that she would get the truth out of him, sooner or later. But he felt incredibly foolish.
"I suppose so," he answered lamely.
"I guess so," he replied weakly.
"And what about me?" asked Tannis.
"And what about me?" Tannis asked.
When you come to think of it, this was an embarrassing question, especially for Carey, who had believed that Tannis understood the game, and played it for its own sake, as he did.
When you think about it, this was an awkward question, especially for Carey, who had thought that Tannis understood the game and played it just for the fun of it, like he did.
"I don't understand you, Tannis," he said hurriedly.
"I don't get you, Tannis," he said quickly.
"You have made me love you," said Tannis.
"You've made me love you," Tannis said.
The words sound flat enough on paper. They did not sound flat to Tom, as repeated by Lazarre, and they sounded anything but flat to Carey, hurled at him as they were by a woman trembling with all the passions of her savage ancestry. Tannis had justified her criticism of poetry. She had said her half-dozen words, instinct with all the despair and pain and wild appeal that all the poetry in the world had ever expressed.
The words seemed dull enough on paper. They didn’t sound dull to Tom when Lazarre repeated them, and they were anything but dull to Carey, thrown at him by a woman shaking with all the emotions of her fierce heritage. Tannis had backed up her critique of poetry. She had said her few words, filled with all the despair, pain, and desperate longing that all the poetry in the world had ever conveyed.
They made Carey feel like a scoundrel. All at once he realized how impossible it would be to explain matters to Tannis, and that he would make a still bigger fool of himself, if he tried.
They made Carey feel like a jerk. Suddenly he understood how impossible it would be to explain things to Tannis, and that he would just make an even bigger fool of himself if he tried.
"I am very sorry," he stammered, like a whipped schoolboy.
"I'm really sorry," he stuttered, like a scolded kid.
"It is no matter," interrupted Tannis violently. "What difference does it make about me—a half-breed girl? We breed girls are only born to amuse the white men. That is so—is it not? Then, when they are tired of us, they push us aside and go back to their own kind. Oh, it is very well. But I will not forget—my father and brother will not forget. They will make you sorry to some purpose!"
"It doesn't matter," Tannis interrupted sharply. "What does it matter about me—a mixed-race girl? We're just here to entertain white men. That's the truth, isn't it? Then, when they get tired of us, they cast us aside and return to their own kind. Fine. But I won’t forget—my father and brother won’t forget. They will make you pay for this!"
She turned, and stalked away to her canoe. He waited under the pines until she crossed the river; then he, too, went miserably home. What a mess he had contrived to make of things! Poor Tannis! How handsome she had looked in her fury—and how much like a squaw! The racial marks always come out plainly under the stress of emotion, as Tom noted later.
She turned and walked away to her canoe. He waited under the pines until she crossed the river; then he, too, headed home feeling miserable. What a mess he had made of things! Poor Tannis! She had looked so beautiful in her anger—and so much like a Native woman! The racial traits always become obvious under emotional stress, as Tom realized later.
Her threat did not disturb him. If young Paul and old Auguste made things unpleasant for him, he thought himself more than a match for them. It was the thought of the suffering he had brought upon Tannis that worried him. He had not, to be sure, been a villain; but he had been a fool, and that is almost as bad, under some circumstances.
Her threat didn't bother him. If young Paul and old Auguste made things uncomfortable for him, he believed he could handle them just fine. What really troubled him was the pain he had caused Tannis. He hadn’t been a villain, but he had been foolish, and that can be just as bad in some situations.
The Dumonts, however, did not trouble him. After all, Tannis' four years in Prince Albert had not been altogether wasted. She knew that white girls did not mix their male relatives up in a vendetta when a man ceased calling on them—and she had nothing else to complain of that could be put in words. After some reflection she concluded to hold her tongue. She even laughed when old Auguste asked her what was up between her and her fellow, and said she had grown tired of him. Old Auguste shrugged his shoulders resignedly. It was just as well, maybe. Those English sons-in-law sometimes gave themselves too many airs.
The Dumonts, however, didn’t bother her. After all, Tannis’s four years in Prince Albert hadn’t been a total waste. She understood that white girls didn’t involve their male relatives in a feud just because a guy stopped calling—and she had nothing else to complain about that she could actually put into words. After thinking it over, she decided to keep quiet. She even laughed when old Auguste asked her what was going on between her and her guy, saying she had just grown tired of him. Old Auguste shrugged his shoulders resignedly. It was probably for the best. Those English sons-in-law sometimes acted too high and mighty.
So Carey rode often to town and Tannis bided her time, and plotted futile schemes of revenge, and Lazarre Mérimée scowled and got drunk—and life went on at the Flats as usual, until the last week in October, when a big wind and rainstorm swept over the northland.
So Carey frequently rode into town while Tannis waited for her moment and came up with pointless revenge plans. Lazarre Mérimée frowned and got drunk—and life at the Flats continued as usual, until the last week in October, when a strong wind and rainstorm hit the northern region.
It was a bad night. The wires were down between the Flats and Prince Albert and all communication with the outside world was cut off. Over at Joe Esquint's the breeds were having a carouse in honor of Joe's birthday. Paul Dumont had gone over, and Carey was alone in the office, smoking lazily and dreaming of Elinor.
It was a rough night. The power lines were down between the Flats and Prince Albert and all communication with the outside world was cut off. Over at Joe Esquint's, people were partying for Joe's birthday. Paul Dumont had gone over, and Carey was alone in the office, smoking lazily and daydreaming about Elinor.
Suddenly, above the plash of rain and whistle of wind, he heard outcries in the street. Running to the door he was met by Mrs. Joe Esquint, who grasped him breathlessly.
Suddenly, above the sound of the rain and the howling wind, he heard shouts coming from the street. Running to the door, he was met by Mrs. Joe Esquint, who grabbed him breathlessly.
"Meestair Carey—come quick! Lazarre, he kill Paul—they fight!"
"Master Carey—come quick! Lazarre, he killed Paul—they're fighting!"
Carey, with a smothered oath, rushed across the street. He had been afraid of something of the sort, and had advised Paul not to go, for those half-breed carouses almost always ended in a free fight. He burst into the kitchen at Joe Esquint's, to find a circle of mute spectators ranged around the room and Paul and Lazarre in a clinch in the center. Carey was relieved to find it was only an affair of fists. He promptly hurled himself at the combatants and dragged Paul away, while Mrs. Joe Esquint—Joe himself being dead-drunk in a corner—flung her fat arms about Lazarre and held him back.
Carey, muttering a curse, ran across the street. He had feared something like this would happen and had warned Paul not to go, since those half-breed parties almost always ended in a fight. He rushed into the kitchen at Joe Esquint's, only to find a group of silent onlookers gathered around the room, with Paul and Lazarre locked in a struggle in the center. Carey was relieved to see that it was just a fistfight. He quickly threw himself at the fighters and pulled Paul away, while Mrs. Joe Esquint—Joe himself passed out drunk in a corner—wrapped her heavy arms around Lazarre to hold him back.
"Stop this," said Carey sternly.
"Cut it out," Carey said sternly.
"Let me get at him," foamed Paul. "He insulted my sister. He said that you—let me get at him!"
"Let me at him," Paul shouted angrily. "He dissed my sister. He said that you—let me at him!"
He could not writhe free from Carey's iron grip. Lazarre, with a snarl like a wolf, sent Mrs. Joe spinning, and rushed at Paul. Carey struck out as best he could, and Lazarre went reeling back against the table. It went over with a crash and the light went out!
He couldn't break free from Carey's strong grip. Lazarre, snarling like a wolf, sent Mrs. Joe spinning and charged at Paul. Carey did his best to strike back, and Lazarre was knocked back against the table. It toppled over with a crash and the lights went out!
Mrs. Joe's shrieks might have brought the roof down. In the confusion that ensued, two pistol shots rang out sharply. There was a cry, a groan, a fall—then a rush for the door. When Mrs. Joe Esquint's sister-in-law, Marie, dashed in with another lamp, Mrs. Joe was still shrieking, Paul Dumont was leaning sickly against the wall with a dangling arm, and Carey lay face downward on the floor, with blood trickling from under him.
Mrs. Joe's screams could have brought the roof down. In the chaos that followed, two gunshots rang out sharply. There was a shout, a groan, a fall—then a rush for the door. When Mrs. Joe Esquint's sister-in-law, Marie, rushed in with another lamp, Mrs. Joe was still screaming, Paul Dumont was weakly leaning against the wall with a limp arm, and Carey was face down on the floor, with blood trickling from beneath him.
Marie Esquint was a woman of nerve. She told Mrs. Joe to shut up, and she turned Carey over. He was conscious, but seemed dazed and could not help himself. Marie put a coat under his head, told Paul to lie down on the bench, ordered Mrs. Joe to get a bed ready, and went for the doctor. It happened that there was a doctor at the Flats that night—a Prince Albert man who had been up at the Reservation, fixing up some sick Indians, and had been stormstaid at old Auguste's on his way back.
Marie Esquint was a woman of determination. She told Mrs. Joe to be quiet and turned Carey over. He was conscious but looked dazed and couldn't assist himself. Marie placed a coat under his head, instructed Paul to lie down on the bench, told Mrs. Joe to prepare a bed, and then went to get the doctor. Fortunately, there was a doctor at the Flats that night—a Prince Albert guy who had been at the Reservation helping some sick Indians and had been stuck at old Auguste's on his way back.
Marie soon returned with the doctor, old Auguste, and Tannis. Carey was carried in and laid on Mrs. Esquint's bed. The doctor made a brief examination, while Mrs. Joe sat on the floor and howled at the top of her lungs. Then he shook his head.
Marie soon came back with the doctor, old Auguste, and Tannis. Carey was carried in and placed on Mrs. Esquint's bed. The doctor did a quick check-up, while Mrs. Joe sat on the floor and cried out loudly. Then he shook his head.
"Shot in the back," he said briefly.
"Shot in the back," he said shortly.
"How long?" asked Carey, understanding.
"How long?" asked Carey, realizing.
"Perhaps till morning," answered the doctor. Mrs. Joe gave a louder howl than ever at this, and Tannis came and stood by the bed. The doctor, knowing that he could do nothing for Carey, hurried into the kitchen to attend to Paul, who had a badly shattered arm, and Marie went with him.
"Maybe until morning," replied the doctor. Mrs. Joe let out an even louder cry at this, and Tannis came to stand by the bed. The doctor, realizing he couldn't help Carey, rushed into the kitchen to look after Paul, who had a seriously broken arm, and Marie went with him.
Carey looked stupidly at Tannis.
Carey stared blankly at Tannis.
"Send for her," he said.
"Call her," he said.
Tannis smiled cruelly.
Tannis smirked maliciously.
"There is no way. The wires are down, and there is no man at the Flats who will go to town to-night," she answered.
"There’s no way. The wires are down, and there’s no one at the Flats who will go to town tonight," she replied.
"My God, I MUST see her before I die," burst out Carey pleadingly. "Where is Father Gabriel? HE will go."
"My God, I have to see her before I die," Carey exclaimed desperately. "Where's Father Gabriel? He'll go."
"The priest went to town last night and has not come back," said Tannis.
"The priest went to town last night and hasn't returned," said Tannis.
Carey groaned and shut his eyes. If Father Gabriel was away, there was indeed no one to go. Old Auguste and the doctor could not leave Paul and he knew well that no breed of them all at the Flats would turn out on such a night, even if they were not, one and all, mortally scared of being mixed up in the law and justice that would be sure to follow the affair. He must die without seeing Elinor.
Carey sighed and closed his eyes. If Father Gabriel was gone, there was really no one left to go. Old Auguste and the doctor couldn’t leave Paul, and he knew that none of the people at the Flats would show up on a night like this, even if they weren’t all terrified of getting involved in the law and the consequences that would definitely follow. He would have to die without seeing Elinor.
Tannis looked inscrutably down on the pale face on Mrs. Joe Esquint's dirty pillows. Her immobile features gave no sign of the conflict raging within her. After a short space she turned and went out, shutting the door softly on the wounded man and Mrs. Joe, whose howls had now simmered down to whines. In the next room, Paul was crying out with pain as the doctor worked on his arm, but Tannis did not go to him. Instead, she slipped out and hurried down the stormy street to old Auguste's stable. Five minutes later she was galloping down the black, wind-lashed river trail, on her way to town, to bring Elinor Blair to her lover's deathbed.
Tannis looked down with a blank expression at Mrs. Joe Esquint's pale face resting on her dirty pillows. Her still features showed no hint of the turmoil inside her. After a moment, she turned and left, quietly shutting the door behind her, leaving the injured man and Mrs. Joe, whose cries had now faded to whimpers. In the next room, Paul cried out in pain as the doctor tended to his arm, but Tannis didn’t go to him. Instead, she slipped out and hurried down the stormy street to old Auguste's stable. Five minutes later, she was racing down the dark, wind-swept river trail, heading to town to bring Elinor Blair to her lover's deathbed.
I hold that no woman ever did anything more unselfish than this deed of Tannis! For the sake of love she put under her feet the jealousy and hatred that had clamored at her heart. She held, not only revenge, but the dearer joy of watching by Carey to the last, in the hollow of her hand, and she cast both away that the man she loved might draw his dying breath somewhat easier. In a white woman the deed would have been merely commendable. In Tannis of the Flats, with her ancestry and tradition, it was lofty self-sacrifice.
I believe that no woman has ever done anything more selfless than what Tannis did! For the sake of love, she pushed aside the jealousy and hatred that troubled her heart. She had the chance for revenge and the precious joy of being by Carey’s side until the end, but she let both go so that the man she loved could breathe a little easier in his final moments. For a white woman, this act would have been simply admirable. But for Tannis from the Flats, given her background and traditions, it was a noble act of self-sacrifice.
It was eight o'clock when Tannis left the Flats; it was ten when she drew bridle before the house on the bluff. Elinor was regaling Tom and his wife with Avonlea gossip when the maid came to the door.
It was eight o'clock when Tannis left the Flats; it was ten when she stopped in front of the house on the bluff. Elinor was entertaining Tom and his wife with Avonlea gossip when the maid came to the door.
"Pleas'm, there's a breed girl out on the verandah and she's asking for Miss Blair."
"Excuse me, there's a young girl out on the porch and she's asking for Miss Blair."
Elinor went out wonderingly, followed by Tom. Tannis, whip in hand, stood by the open door, with the stormy night behind her, and the warm ruby light of the hall lamp showering over her white face and the long rope of drenched hair that fell from her bare head. She looked wild enough.
Elinor stepped outside in awe, with Tom trailing behind her. Tannis, holding a whip, stood by the open door, with the stormy night behind her, and the warm ruby light from the hallway lamp spilling over her pale face and the long rope of wet hair that hung down from her bare head. She looked quite wild.
"Jerome Carey was shot in a quarrel at Joe Esquint's to-night," she said. "He is dying—he wants you—I have come for you."
"Jerome Carey was shot in a fight at Joe Esquint's tonight," she said. "He’s dying—he wants you—I’ve come for you."
Elinor gave a little cry, and steadied herself on Tom's shoulder. Tom said he knew he made some exclamation of horror. He had never approved of Carey's attentions to Elinor, but such news was enough to shock anybody. He was determined, however, that Elinor should not go out in such a night and to such a scene, and told Tannis so in no uncertain terms.
Elinor let out a small gasp and leaned on Tom's shoulder for support. Tom said he definitely expressed his shock. He had never liked Carey's interest in Elinor, but this news was enough to unsettle anyone. Still, he was set on making sure Elinor didn't go out on a night like this and to such a scene, and he told Tannis so in no uncertain terms.
"I came through the storm," said Tannis, contemptuously. "Cannot she do as much for him as I can?"
"I made it through the storm," Tannis said with disdain. "Can't she do just as much for him as I can?"
The good, old Island blood in Elinor's veins showed to some purpose. "Yes," she answered firmly. "No, Tom, don't object—I must go. Get my horse—and your own."
The good, old Island blood in Elinor's veins showed its worth. "Yes," she replied confidently. "No, Tom, don't argue—I have to go. Get my horse—and yours."
Ten minutes later three riders galloped down the bluff road and took the river trail. Fortunately the wind was at their backs and the worst of the storm was over. Still, it was a wild, black ride enough. Tom rode, cursing softly under his breath. He did not like the whole thing—Carey done to death in some low half-breed shack, this handsome, sullen girl coming as his messenger, this nightmare ride, through wind and rain. It all savored too much of melodrama, even for the Northland, where people still did things in a primitive way. He heartily wished Elinor had never left Avonlea.
Ten minutes later, three riders sped down the bluff road and took the river trail. Luckily, the wind was behind them, and the worst of the storm had passed. Still, it was a rough, dark ride. Tom rode, muttering softly under his breath. He didn't like any of it—Carey killed in some dingy half-breed shack, this beautiful, brooding girl showing up as his messenger, this nightmare ride through wind and rain. It all felt too much like a melodrama, even for the Northland, where people still did things in a bare-bones way. He sincerely wished Elinor had never left Avonlea.
It was past twelve when they reached the Flats. Tannis was the only one who seemed to be able to think coherently. It was she who told Tom where to take the horses and then led Elinor to the room where Carey was dying. The doctor was sitting by the bedside and Mrs. Joe was curled up in a corner, sniffling to herself. Tannis took her by the shoulder and turned her, none too gently, out of the room. The doctor, understanding, left at once. As Tannis shut the door she saw Elinor sink on her knees by the bed, and Carey's trembling hand go out to her head.
It was past twelve when they arrived at the Flats. Tannis was the only one who could think clearly. She told Tom where to take the horses and then led Elinor to the room where Carey was dying. The doctor was sitting by the bedside, and Mrs. Joe was curled up in a corner, sniffling to herself. Tannis took her by the shoulder and roughly turned her out of the room. The doctor understood and left immediately. As Tannis closed the door, she saw Elinor drop to her knees by the bed, and Carey's shaking hand reached out to her head.
Tannis sat down on the floor outside of the door and wrapped herself up in a shawl Marie Esquint had dropped. In that attitude she looked exactly like a squaw, and all comers and goers, even old Auguste, who was hunting for her, thought she was one, and left her undisturbed. She watched there until dawn came whitely up over the prairies and Jerome Carey died. She knew when it happened by Elinor's cry.
Tannis sat on the floor outside the door and wrapped herself in a shawl that Marie Esquint had dropped. In that position, she looked just like a Native American woman, and everyone who passed by, even old Auguste who was looking for her, thought she was one and left her alone. She watched until dawn broke over the prairies and Jerome Carey died. She knew when it happened by Elinor's shout.
Tannis sprang up and rushed in. She was too late for even a parting look.
Tannis jumped up and ran inside. She was too late to catch even a goodbye glance.
The girl took Carey's hand in hers, and turned to the weeping Elinor with a cold dignity.
The girl took Carey's hand and turned to the crying Elinor with a calm dignity.
"Now go," she said. "You had him in life to the very last. He is mine now."
"Now go," she said. "You had him in life until the very end. He belongs to me now."
"There must be some arrangements made," faltered Elinor.
"There needs to be some arrangements made," stammered Elinor.
"My father and brother will make all arrangements, as you call them," said Tannis steadily. "He had no near relatives in the world—none at all in Canada—he told me so. You may send out a Protestant minister from town, if you like; but he will be buried here at the Flats and his grave will be mine—all mine! Go!"
"My dad and brother will take care of everything, as you say," Tannis said firmly. "He didn't have any close relatives—none at all in Canada—he told me that. You can bring in a Protestant minister from town if you want; but he will be buried here at the Flats and his grave will be mine—all mine! Go!"
And Elinor, reluctant, sorrowful, yet swayed by a will and an emotion stronger than her own, went slowly out, leaving Tannis of the Flats alone with her dead.
And Elinor, hesitant and sad, but influenced by a desire and a feeling stronger than her own, walked out slowly, leaving Tannis of the Flats alone with her deceased.
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